《Before The End》


 Prologue: Changes Unasked For

    It all started with the letter in my door this morning.


    Now if I was a better person I probably would¡¯ve reported the appearance of a magical object coming into my possession, but I decided that all the laws about magical containment and control could go fuck themselves once the letter ended up stabbed into the door of my apartment with that weird knife. I mean real magic was a new thing to the world, but the fact that the knifes blade was floating independently away from its hilt and seemed to be held together only by the blue smoke coating the thing told me the knife was definitely magical.


    I of course knew that magic could be dangerous, I had seen plenty reports on the news about people transmorphing themselves into horrors or just generally blowing up when they came into contact with magic. Still, it was magic, real honest to goodness magic. There was no way in hell I would be passing up a chance at getting my hands on actual magic.


    So instead of calling 911 and reporting that I found a potentially dangerous magical item I was sitting at my breakfast nook working up the courage to open the letter.


    Sure I had personally seen a life ruined by the pursuit of magic, but I had also heard stories about people whose entire lives turned around because they came across some magical trinket or power. I wanted to be one of those success stories almost as much as I didn¡¯t want to be a late night story of magical tragedy on the news. The thing was, there was no way of knowing which was more likely to happen and the weird magical smoke dagger didn¡¯t tell me much about what I could be getting into by opening the letter. Honestly I was already pretty lucky for not bursting into flame or turning into a frog or something just for touching the thing.


    I sat there, blueberry muffin in hand, and contemplated my choices. I was seventeen, attending university, and living independently on the emancipation checks my mom sent every month. I had a bright future ahead of me, and by this time next year I¡¯d be a working partner at the LX Cross pawn shop. I could lose all that if I messed with this stuff and had it backfire on me. I could end up crippled, morphed, dead, or even undead. Plenty of other badness I can¡¯t even think of could happen to me as well¡­


    Yet on the other hand I could get magical powers or this could be one of those rare summons to the world beyond the rift I¡¯d heard about. Hell even if the letter was nothing and the only power the knife had was looking awesome and bending physics or however else the blade floated like that I¡¯d still have a cool story and two new pieces of merchandise I could potentially pawn off.


    Sighing I took a bite of my muffin before picking up the knife, turning it over in my hands I didn¡¯t feel any different. There was no surge of sudden power or knowledge, and thankfully I didn¡¯t turn into a lump of writhing flesh or explode either. It just seemed like a normal knife, a normal magical knife, a normal magical knife that was embedded in my front door this morning.


    In retrospect calling the knife normal was probably dumb¡­


    Regardless the knife didn¡¯t seem to do anything special, after swinging it a few times from my seat and cutting into my muffin in the name of science I was fairly certain of that much. In fact I was so certain of that fact I was willing to bet my nonexistent magical expert degree.


    Which only left the letter I was to chicken to open.


    Setting down my half eaten slightly bisected muffin I decided to just bite the bullet. I guess the fact that I knew there were beings out there with power over life and death that I could potentially negotiate with even should the worst happen made me braver than I would normally be, brave enough to grab ahold of my destiny and take a step towards ultimate magical power. That or I was being really stupid, about to make a huge mistake, and none of the so called gods or what have you would be willing to pay my life the littlest amount of attention let alone hear me out. It could be either or really¡­


    Tearing open the envelope and pulling out the piece of paper inside I unfolded the paper and began to read. I got as far as Dear Evander Swan before the world went white.


    ***


    <table>


    <tbody>


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    <td>


    Allow me to make this clear: you are a pawn.Stolen novel; please report.


    Now you can either try denying this fact or accept it and move on with the rest of your life, in truth I don¡¯t care which of these approaches any of you chose to do as long as you all accomplish what I need of you.


    Your job is simple, I need you all to become powerful. Powerful enough that you can ensure the survival of many in what is to come, I assure you this shall be quite the daunting task. I suppose you could be called a ¡°Hero¡± of sorts, but I shall not use the term as I find it foolish to think of the individuals I have chosen as heroes. The word hero implies that the subject is heroic, an idol that the masses can look to and feel proud of or safe around. Many of you can¡¯t hope to ever wear such a noble moniker, and some would only laugh at being presented with it, hence it is an inappropriate moniker to use.


    Returning to the point, an apocalypse is coming. I know not if it shall arrive in a single year or a century from this moment, but it is coming. And soon at that, at least soon from the perspectives of those of us not confined by mortal lifespans. You chosen few were selected and plucked from your original worlds because you each have the potential to survive what is to come, and it is my hope that this potential shall spread to those you encounter and interact with. You are each arks, arks that could save many from the cataclysm to come and mayhaps even allow for rebirth and resurgence after the storm passes.


    Sadly each of you as you are would be doomed to failure, and as such I have taken the appropriate measures to correct the problem. You shall find that your classes and skills have been reset, and in some cases even had your race changed to offer you better survivability. This will likely disturb many of you. Some due to the loss of so much, others to the sudden changes, and I¡¯m sure a few from less orderly or magical realities shall find this entire process and system disturbing.


    I don¡¯t care.


    Each of you will have to overcome your personal feelings on the circumstances and adapt to your new reality. The other chose is death, and if you die over something so simple than obviously you were not what I was looking for in the first place and your death shall be no great loss.


    I have also increased the number of classes you may hold to five at one time, this should allow each of you to amass great power and cover any glaring weaknesses a class you hold may have. Take this as a gift and use it as well as you are able.


    Oh, and if you should meet with any of your colleagues I do ask that you don¡¯t unnecessarily kill them. It would decrease the likelihood of a large enough population of people surviving the trials to come¡­


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    I stared at the message that seemed imposed over everything else in my vision. For a minute after reading the message I couldn¡¯t think of anything, even after the screen the message was on had disappeared from view I couldn¡¯t think of anything. I stood frozen.


    ¡°Well at least I didn¡¯t blow up¡­¡±


    I felt a laugh rise up inside myself before it bubbled over and I found myself cackling with some strange emotion I couldn¡¯t identify.


    ¡°And I sure as shit didn¡¯t turn into a frog!¡±


    I looked down at my vaguely greyish hued skin that seemed to be blemish and hair free. I was still wearing the tee shirt and baggy sweatpants I had been lounging around in, but now there was a smooth black bangle snugly attached around my left wrist and a pair of sneakers on my feet I remember buying a few weeks back to replace my old beat up pair.


    Running my hand through my hair half in an attempt to calm myself down and half to assure myself that the hair was still there. I discovered two things. One: my hair was thankfully still there and even felt smoother and softer than ever, and two: my ears seem to be slightly longer, sharper, and far more sensitive at the tips than I ever remembered them being.


    Suppressing my oncoming freak-out I stopped fiddling the tips of my ears and decided to fiddle with the weird bangle around my wrist instead. As I ran my fingers across the bangle I wondered what it was, it felt sort of like if glass work was mixed with plastic.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Name Unavailable</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Half elf (human-moon elf)


    LV: 1


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Class Unavailable


    LV: N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Skills


    Elven Constitution. Dark Sight. Light¡¯s warmth.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    I felt a strange sort of smile come onto my face as I looked at the new screen that popped up when I touched the bangle. In a way I had sort of asked for this when I had opened the letter, I had known that magical items had unpredictable and world shaking effects. I had known that, but I hadn¡¯t thought that just opening a letter would cause all this¡­


    And worst of all, I didn¡¯t get to keep that badass magical knife through all this. Really there was only one thing that could¡¯ve come to mind at a moment like this.


    ¡°Well¡­ Fuck¡­¡±

 First Steps 1

    I sat on the leafy forest floor as I rubbed at my temples. For a while I had been lamenting all I had lost because of my poor impulse control and desire for untold magical power. I had actually thrown myself one hell of a pity party, it was impressive in a way and I was very creative in the names I had called myself.


    Alas there was no changing the past and hindsight was always more accurate than foresight. No amount of self-loathing or regret could change that.


    Plus this wasn¡¯t the first time I had lost everything and had to start my life over from scratch, hell it wasn¡¯t even the second time. By now I was an old pro at rolling with the punches and adapting to what life throws my way, and while this may have been a huge, soul crushing, stupidly unfair, and unrealistic shift for my life to take I wouldn¡¯t let it break me. I would overcome this and end up coming out ahead just like I had in the past with dad¡¯s death and mom¡¯s abuse.


    ¡°Alright. I can do this. New reality? No problem. End of the world? Easy.¡±


    Slapping my cheeks and psyching myself up I began to reorient myself to my new circumstances. I wasn¡¯t in my original world, and I doubted that this world would be nearly as familiar and kind as Earth was. It was a scary thought since Earth was about as kind and forgiving as a rabid lion that was starved before being placed with a small zebra with a broken leg.


    ¡°I guess I¡¯m the zebra in that metaphor, huh¡­¡±


    I shook my head and focused back on the situation. I was in a strange new world, a world with rules I didn¡¯t know and a time limit attached with it in the form of an apocalypse. I didn¡¯t know when the end would come, but whatever brought me here seemed certain it would eventually arrive so I figured it was in my best interest to do all I could to prepare for it as soon as I possibly could. That meant I had to get my shit together fast.


    Taking a breath I rubbed at the bangle on my left wrist again.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Name Unavailable</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Half elf (human-moon elf)


    LV: 1


    </td>


    </tr>


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    <td style="text-align: center">


    Class Unavailable


    LV: N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Skills


    Elven Constitution. Dark Sight. Light¡¯s warmth.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    I studied each word like it was the gospel of my new religion, because it honestly just might be. I was no stranger to playing games and RPGs had been a personal preference of mine so what I saw on the screen wasn¡¯t entirely unfamiliar. I knew what a class was in an RPG, and skill trees used to be something that I would map out for fun when I was starting a new character. The half elf thing I assumed was my new race and the screen told me outright that I was now a level 1 scrub, so not much to determine on that front.


    The real questions were how I could use my skills or increase my level. I¡¯d also probably need to look for a class trainer or whatever it was that gave you classes in this world.


    ¡°I wonder¡­¡±


    Out of curiosity I moved to touch one of my skills and hopped to who or whatever was listening that the universe would be kind and merciful for once. As I tried to touch the screen I realized that the screen would just impose itself in front of my hand in my vision. Sighing I gave up on the effort, but as I moved my hand back down and glanced back at the screen I saw that it was shifting.


    <table>


    <tbody>


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    <td>


    Elven Constitution


    Your body has within it the ancient and fae bloodline of the forest folk, but this bloodline is diminished by your human half and thus so too are the effects it carries. Lifespan increased. Resistance to venom, potions, and poisons increased. Senses of sight, hearing, and touch are enhanced.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Well that¡¯s helpful¡­¡±


    I thought about the screen going back to the way it was before and consciously resisted the urge to reach out and touch the screen. The screen shifted before my eyes and I felt a smile cross my face, I was figuring this thing out and hopefully soon I would actually be able to use it with some level of competency.


    ¡°Ok. So for now figure out what each of my skills are. After that I can work on where the hell I am and figure out what I¡¯m going to do¡­ Yeah, that¡¯ll work. Good plan, Evo¡­¡±


    I blinked in surprise as the screen shifted without my doing anything. When I looked at the new line at the top I actually chuckled, it was a good thing I wasn¡¯t fond of my old name.


    <table>


    <tbody>


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    <td style="text-align: center">


    Evo


    Titles: N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Half elf (human-moon elf)


    LV: 1


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Class Unavailable


    LV: N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Skills


    Elven Constitution. Dark Sight. Light¡¯s warmth.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Well, I guess that nickname is better than Evander Lucas Swan the second¡­¡±


    I had always asked to be called Evo since my dad went by Evan and it had felt weird to go by that name after he died, almost like I was trying to take his place. I had also use Evo as my gaming handle and character name whenever I could, so having it be the name recognized by the screen was alright with me. Hell, it might have even been fitting. Evander Swan had been a human from Earth, given that I was no longer strictly human and wasn¡¯t on earth anymore I might as well change my name too. Might help with the whole starting over mentality some¡­


    ¡°Alright, back to skills¡­¡±


    Thinking about the next skill the screen shifted to show me what I wanted.


    <table>


    <tbody>


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    <td>


    Dark Sight


    You are a creature of darkness and as such the dark can hide nothing from you, instead it is your home. Grants improved night vision. Improved vision in low light conditions. And limited vision in no-light conditions.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Well that¡¯ll be useful¡­¡±


    I had no doubt that night vision would be good to have, and being able to see to any extent in areas with no light sounded cool as hell. Turning my thoughts to my last skill I was only mildly surprised when the screen began to shift again, it confirmed that the screen didn¡¯t have to go back to that home display of my status in order for it to change. That would probably be super convenient once I got familiar with the screen, but for now it only saved a bit of time.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Light¡¯s Warmth


    You reside within the light and bathe in its radiance, the light does not blind you instead it illuminates your world. Internal temperature is maintained at optimal output at all times. Resistant to cold. Resistant to heat. It is more difficult for freezing effects to work on you.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Another useful skill. I liked the sound of not being too cold or too hot ever again, and I liked the sound of not freezing even better. Willing for the screen to disappear I began to stand up, brushing the leaf litter and dirt off the back of my pants I let out a sigh.


    ¡°Ok, so I¡¯m in a new world that¡¯s like a game. Simple enough, concept has been used plenty of times in stories and stuff. Good news is I¡¯m not flying blind here, I can do games and managing stats, skills, and classes doesn¡¯t scare me. Bad news is this isn¡¯t a game and I¡¯m betting taking damage and dying in this world are going to reflect that fact¡­¡±


    Actually now that I thought about it I didn¡¯t have a health bar. Or any sort of bar for that matter, and I didn¡¯t have any clear stats that I could see either. I guess that meant that this place was more like my old world than a game when it came to the whole ¡°staying alive¡± thing. I¡¯m guessing there would be no surviving fatal wounds just because you have a lot of health or cheat levels of regen. It seemed that getting hurt here wasn¡¯t going to be just taking damage like it would be in a game but actually getting hurt.


    In a way that made things easier. It meant I could look at things more realistically and I had less to attempt to juggle while I built myself up. Though on the downside that meant my idea of maxing out my health and mana regen to stupid levels to make myself an immortal god wouldn¡¯t work¡­This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    Shame.


    ¡°So, yeah¡­ Shouldn¡¯t do anything stupid. No taking on big ass monsters with just a stick and a prayer for experience. Actually, would killing stuff even give me experience towards my level? How would that even work?¡±


    I scratched the back of my head before picking a random direction and starting to walk. My hope was that I would stumble across civilization or if I was really lucky a helpful tutorial sequence that would explain in great deal everything about what the fuck was going on and how I could progress. I was leaning towards the former being the more likely of the two, though I could always hope the power of positive thinking would force the latter into being.


    ***


    It¡¯s interesting the things you discover when you walk alone in an unfamiliar forest in a magical world you know next to nothing about. Firstly I discovered that I would gladly murder someone for a decent pair of boots and some thick socks, turns out that bare feet in sneakers actually wasn¡¯t the best choice for walking in the forest. Who knew? Secondly I figured out pretty quickly that I wasn¡¯t nearly as alone as I might have liked, the sounds of rustling in underbrush and bird calls from above told me that much.


    Now I¡¯d like to say that I was perfectly calm and the noises of the forest didn¡¯t bother me one bit, but if I said that I¡¯d be lying to myself. The truth was that the only reason I wasn¡¯t jumping at every random noise or shadow right now was because my nerves were simply too fried from the last hour I had spent doing just that. I had seen visions of monsters and vicious wild life in every bush that rustled, and when I heard a roar that literally shook the trees around me I damn near shit myself. I probably went through more cardio from panicking in the last hour than I had in even my harshest track meet, and that was just from what I had heard. The sight of that white and gold deer with sharp ass fangs eating what looked like a giant cat¡¯s carcass would probably haunt my dreams for the next week.


    So yeah, at this point I was just sort of emotionally numb to all the shit going on in the forest around me. Hell, at this point I¡¯d probably be more frustrated than terrified if a monster jumped out and tried to eat me.


    One thing that still worried me though was the idea of my immediate resources. I was working with literally just the shirt on my back and the shoes on my feet. Oh, and my pants too. Can¡¯t forget those¡­


    I had no idea of where I was, what was dangerous around me, and where I could safely rest for a while. I had exactly one of the five fundamental needs for survival. Food, water, shelter, and security were just hopes at the moment. Luckily that Light¡¯s Warmth skill kept me warm, but if I couldn¡¯t find a safe place to rest or food to eat that warmth would do me diddly squat.


    All in all things weren¡¯t going the greatest, and since I hadn¡¯t come across so much as a hunting trail let alone a road I doubted I¡¯d be seeing much of civilization for a long while. A part of my actually thought it was kind of funny in a way, a mean it would be my luck to end up lost in the monster infested forest with no supplies or weapons to defend myself with. Hell, I didn¡¯t even have an offensive skill so if mister vampire deer came after me the best I could do was run away screaming like a na?ve teenage girl in a cheap horror flick. Not the best defensive strategy for my long term survival¡­


    Luckily nothing had really bothered me yet, I mean sure that monster deer had scared the shit out me but it hadn¡¯t seemed all that interested in me while it was having its meal. The simple fact that I was still alive and nothing had even tried to come after me was probably a testament to lady luck crushing on me right now, I could easily imagine how bad things could have been this whole time.


    A vision of that white vampire deer eating my corpse instead of a giant birds flashed through my mind.


    Yep, things could¡¯ve been much worse. Although if I was being honest with myself things could still get worse, after all lady luck was infamous for being a fickle two faced bitch that could turn on you at any moment. She was a bit like karma in that way¡­


    ¡°Hmm¡­ Wonder if there actually is some god or whatever that governs over luck in this world¡­¡±


    It had become an accepted fact that gods had existed after the rifts had appeared and a few had literally announced themselves to my old world. Still mankind didn¡¯t know much about these gods outside of the fact that they existed and most of them went back to the world across the rift, though there were lots of communities on the internet that claimed that Dionysus and Hermes had stuck around. I guess that meant that Zeus and all the rest were here in this world, well that is assuming that this is really the world that the rifts lead to and not just some random other magical world filled with monster forests.


    I guess I could try praying to one of the gods I actually knew about to try checking on that, but by all eyewitness accounts the gods were fickle and often mischievous. I still remember reading something a few months back about the personal accounts of a once heterosexual man who was turned into a beautiful woman who could only find other men attractive just because he had once hit on Aphrodite. Needless to say it took a braver man than me to mess around with calling on the gods, and the off chance that one of them answered my prayers only to decide to mess with me was too great of a chance to take. Especially if I was taking that chance just to sate a bit of curiosity¡­


    ¡°Though I guess that letter could very well have been sent by some god, and I¡¯ve already had my body morphed into something else. I mean, I guess it¡¯s sort of cool being a half elf and everything but it¡¯s not like I had any real choice in the matter. Then again this is better than having my gender and sexuality messed with, if I had come to as a woman I have no clue what I¡¯d do¡­¡±


    I let out a sigh and decided to take a break while I leaned up against a tree. If I was being honest I thought of my being a half elf as being the single most badass thing to ever happen. I mean, come on, I was a literal half elf. I was an awesome magical being of myth and fantasy just like I had walked out of some book or game, and sure I had no clue how to use any of elven magic or shot a bow with any sort of accuracy but still¡­


    The fact that my senses had been supercharged added to the awesome factor too, it was like I had gained some minor super power from the change of my species. My vision was clearer and more crisp than it once was, I could see farther and in the dark with an accuracy that was almost scary. My hearing was sharper too, I could probably hear a pin drop from two rooms over now. And then there was my sense of touch, I had never been able to pick up on the constant flow of air around me before now and everything I touched just seemed to feel more real than before.


    All in all the whole being a new race or species or whatever didn¡¯t bother me all that much. I mean my body was pretty much the same just leaner, more grey, and without body hair. Not a bad tradeoff for supper senses in my book, and if I had some innate elven magic too than that was just icing on the awesome cake.


    Though I would much rather have been a badass half elf in my original world where I was safe and didn¡¯t have to worry about vampire deers or dragons or whatever else was in this forest that could kill me. Oh well can¡¯t have everything, right?


    I was really trying to just let go of my attachment for earth, it wouldn¡¯t help me here and if I focused too much on it I could even get myself killed. The message had been right about at least that much, I had to adapt and move on if I wanted to survive and having a breakdown over being abducted from my world wouldn¡¯t help me do that. It would be better to just let go of Earth and accept this place as my new world, hell I might even like it better than my old world if I can manage to be some magical badass warrior dude.


    Now there was a goal I could work towards, every escapist fantasy I had come up with while reading light novels and web fictions flashed through my head. I was in a fantasy world now, so why couldn¡¯t I become some all-powerful cheat like existence with a harem of women trailing after me? Sure it would take time and a metric fuckton of work on my part, but it might just be possible. But then again there was that whole end of the world thing to worry about too, so the whole dream had a massive caveat right from the start. Still though, it could be doable.


    ¡°And the fact that I¡¯m a half elf implies that there are at least elves in this world¡­¡±


    Yep, that was going to be a definite consideration in the future if I can manage to get over my problems with intimacy and any sort of meaningful relationships. Hell it could even be a motivator for overcoming my little phobias and general trust issues. Remember Evo, you can¡¯t have a harem of hot elf chicks, monster girls, and busty sorceresses if you can¡¯t even open up or talk to them about anything meaningful. Can¡¯t woo the ladies with talk of the weather or deflections to meaningless topics after all¡­


    ¡°Heh, right. Like I would even know what to do with one girl, let alone a harem¡­¡±


    Ah, and just like that reality came in and shot my budding dream dead in the street. I guess it was sort of impressive in a twisted way that mom was able to mess me up so much that I couldn¡¯t even imagine myself in any sort of meaningful romantic relationship. I was sure that my therapist would say it would just take some time for my brain to adjust to the fact that not every female would treat me like mom had, and I was also sure that none of what Dr. Andy had said had actually ever really helped me. Still it had helped for me to talk about stuff with someone I knew wouldn¡¯t share what I said with a living soul, so I didn¡¯t give Dr. Andy a hard time. Plus I didn¡¯t really like thinking about what mom did when she was drunk, so even what my trusty therapist knew about my situation hadn¡¯t been the whole story. Can¡¯t really blame the guy for getting things wrong if he didn¡¯t have all the facts.


    ¡°Ah, wonder what Dr. Andy would think about what¡¯s happened today¡­ Heh, he¡¯d probably say that it would be some bullshit and worry about my sense of identity now that I¡¯m not even a human. Oh, and I guess he¡¯d say I was stupid for not reporting the knife and letter, and incredibly stupid for actually opening the letter in the first place¡­¡±


    I¡¯d miss my therapist, he¡¯d always been a good listener and supportive presence for me. Hell I¡¯d even miss mom, even after all the shit she put me through, though I couldn¡¯t deny I was sort of glad that I was now an entire world away from her.


    In retrospect that makes it sound like I don¡¯t love my mom, and that just wasn¡¯t true. I did love my mom, even after everything, but I¡¯d prefer to love her from a distance with as little contact between us as possible. Did it make sense? No, not a lick of sense, but it was how I felt and I couldn¡¯t change it so easily. Hell even my therapist didn¡¯t understand it fully and he had multiple degrees in psychology.


    I let out a sigh and pushed off the tree.


    ¡°Whatever. No use dwelling on this stuff anymore.¡±


    Shaking my head I went back to walking through the forest, maybe if I was lucky I could find a road before it got dark.


    Suddenly I felt like something was off, it felt like I was being watched. I turned and looked carefully around myself for the source of the feeling.


    It was a horse, a pure white horse with a horn sticking out of its forehead. It just stared at me and panted softly, honestly it was unnerving as shit but I didn¡¯t want to admit that to myself. I mean who gets intimidated by a unicorn? That¡¯s just about the wimpiest thing I could think of. Sure the vampire deer was scary and I was sure a dragon would probably make me shit myself, but a unicorn? Little girls decorated there bedrooms with unicorns, they just weren¡¯t meant to be intimidating creatures.


    Although the creepy panting and the unblinking stare that was honed in on me was slowly beginning to make me reconsider my stance on the matter.


    ¡°Hah. Hah. Unclean¡­¡±


    I took a step back and felt my eyes widen in shock. The thing could talk, worse yet its voice was a raspy growl that totally did not match up with the whole white unicorn image it had going for it. As I took another step back the creepy white horse with a horn took a few steps closer to me.


    ¡°Dirtied. Tainted. Ruined. Unclean¡­¡±


    And suddenly just like that I decided that unicorns could in fact be terrifying if they put in the effort. Just about everything about this thing outside of its appearance was screaming creepy, and the way it was looking at me weirded me right the fuck out. I took a few more slow steps back while trying not to make any sudden movements, my enhanced eyesight let me see just how sharp that thing¡¯s horn was and my instincts were telling me it wasn¡¯t going to use that horn to shot rainbows.


    The unicorn shook slightly like it was having a small fit and it began to drool from its mouth, a mouth I noticed had some weirdly sharp teeth that no horse should ever have.


    ¡°Hah. Hah. Urnnn. Hah. Worst of all¡­ Male.¡±


    A part of me said screw it and I turned to begin sprinting off into the forest. I wasn¡¯t sure if I was even going the same way as I had walked earlier, all I knew was that I was getting as far away from the creepy unicorn as fast as I could.


    The raspy howl behind me coupled with the rapid hoof beats told me that pop culture had lied to me my whole life, this thing sure as shit didn¡¯t want my love and friendship.


    ¡°Unclean male! I shall feast on thy tainted flesh!¡±


    As I heard the howling threat I felt my legs pick up more speed I didn¡¯t know I had in me¡­