《A Sick Twist of Fate》 Session 0: The Truth About Fairies ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°ninja ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° you¡¯ve ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°real ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°a ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°two ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°talking ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° Session 1: The Man Who Fell from the Sky ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°still ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°Yes,¡± Po begins hoarsely. ¡°We¡¯re all friends.¡± Po slowly walks over and starts to pat Leon on the back as well. Leon looks up at the two and smiles, with his melancholy mood dissipating behind a boyish smile. ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°Leon, would you like to join us on our quest?¡± Takeshi states while standing up and walking over to Leon to put a hand on his shoulder. ¡°Maybe we can regain your memories someway, or maybe find your home. That¡¯s it, if you join us, we¡¯ll help you find your home.¡± ¡°Leon join? Find home?¡± ¡° ¡° ¡°But, T,¡± Po begins as Takeshi turns to face him. ¡°You know where we¡¯re going. To the Zod Capital: Beelzebub.¡± ¡°Yeah; but in what direction?¡± Po lifts his arms up in the air and gestures in multiple directions. ¡°Oh¡­well¡­shit.¡± Takeshi frantically climbs out of the crater as the others soon follow. They all look around but see no landmarks to distinguish their location or direction. ¡°Double shit,¡± Takeshi scratches his head in frustration. ¡°I guess we both lost direction from the sandworms chasing us.. wait,¡± He ponders for a moment while staring down Po. ¡°How does a druid get lost?¡± ¡°I lived on an island all my life. I don¡¯t know Zod¡¯s terrain well enough yet.¡± ¡°Excuses, excuses.¡± ¡° ¡°Whatever, we¡¯ll figure it out.¡± Takeshi states as he pulls out a map of Zod and stares deeply into it for another minute. ¡° ¡°We¡¯ll go west.¡± ¡°West?¡± Leon ponders stupidly. ¡°Uh, not really.¡± ¡° ¡°No, look at this map. It says west is that way.¡± Takeshi says pointing at the map of Zod, then he slaps the map and points back into the same direction he suggested earlier. ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°any ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°ninja ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡® ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°biggest ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°buy ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°¡­ ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡± ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° sir ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°exactly ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° Session 2: Pugh-Pughs and Hydras ¡°Prepare the cannons!¡± Takeshi calls out as the ship becomes inundated by a swarm of sea serpents appearing slowly out of the eerily calm waters just off shore of the United Seafaring Nation''s main island. Takeshi flails his katana up in the air as his sun bleached dark blue ninja fatigues cling to his sweaty skin. He hangs on to the helm as the Demon crewmen prepare the cannons under a veil of silence and mist rolling in from the distant mountain island. Po prepares a spell and holds back from chanting the last phrase as he nervously looks around at the approaching serpents. The ship is creeks and sways in the silence as the sea serpents surround the ship and start to hiss and spit on the crew of the Friendship. The silvery, scaly skin refracting light from the lit torches as they wait for Takeshi¡¯s command. Leon cracks his knuckles with a smile on his face. ¡°Snakes want to play.¡± Leon says with a sheepish grin and begins to walk towards a sea serpent, but his progress is halted as Takeshi stops him. Takeshi gently places his katana across Leon¡¯s sun bleached brown tunic and dirty white under shirt. ¡°Steady.¡± The creaking of the ship being pushed by the serpents begins to frighten some of the Demon sailors on board. The hisses grow louder as they start to get in the cannon¡¯s line of fire. ¡°Captain Takeshi.¡± One of the Demons says nervously while holding one of the cannons secure. ¡°Steady.¡± Takeshi continues to say as he sharpens his gaze and looks around. The serpents stop hissing and lean back, then just as the serpents begin to attack, Takeshi thrusts down his sword and yells, ¡°Fire!¡± *Boom**Boom*Boom* All of the twelve cannons go off in a loud showcase of fire and sparks; the ship teeters back and forth as the shockwave rolls the cannons back and the men push them back into place to prepare another volley. The ropes holding the cannons tighten and squeak. Multiple serpents are hit and split in two as the cannon fodder blasts holes through them; showering the men in blue blood and entrails. Clouds of smoke fill the air as the men start to shout and clash their swords with the remaining serpents. Po finishes the last line of his enchantment and creates lightning out of thin air. He fastens the lightning into a javelin and throws it at a serpent. The serpent turns at the flash of light and is quickly dispatched as its head explodes from the electric charge. Blood and bits of brain continue to rain down on the ship and the men. Leon quickly runs up to a serpent, biting a man¡¯s body in half, and punches it in the eye. The forceful punch caves in the serpents head and makes Leon¡¯s blonde hair dance below his shoulders as it flails about. The serpent flings its head back in pain, and lets out a loud cacophonous noise as it falls back and submerges into the ocean. ¡°Pugh damn it all. How many are left?¡± Takeshi states as he strikes at a serpents head and cuts it clean off. The body flails about before being swallowed by the ocean as its head lies on the deck of the ship, twitching and squirting blood all over. ¡°Seven more, Takeshi!¡± Po shouts as he launches another lightning bolt at a serpent behind Takeshi. *Boom* The serpent¡¯s head explodes and covers Takeshi and a few surrounding Demon sailors in blood. ¡°Make that six.¡± Takeshi quickly wipes the chunks off his shoulders and runs back to the helm and shouts, ¡°Prepare another volley.¡± The Demons quickly react as they prepare another, but are slowly picked off one at a time. Limp lower halves of bodies fall to the ground and are thrown about by the serpents spraying the remaining sailors with the blood of their comrades. ¡°Fire at will!¡± Takeshi shouts as he dodges the incoming strike of a serpent that takes out the wooden stair railing. The Demon sailors begin releasing a sporadic barrage of cannon fodder. *Boom* Leon punches a snakes head caving it in. He watches with joy as the lifeless serpent body is swallowed by a tidal wave. *Boom* Po barely dodges an incoming strike from behind after preparing another bolt. He falls to the ground and turns to face the serpent. The serpent hisses as it arches back to strike again. Po quickly braces the lightning bolt onto the wooden floor of the deck and closes his eyes as he looks away. The serpent strikes in an instant, but is impaled by Po¡¯s bolt. *Screech* The serpent cries out in pain as Takeshi runs up to it and slices at its body. The bottom half sinks into the ocean as the upper half falls down onto Po and pins him. The grotesque slimy body quivers as Po shuffles out from under it and strikes it again with the same bolt. The bolt explodes the serpents head and paints the quarter deck with its blood and brain matter. *Boom**Boom* Silence falls once again as the last serpent is killed and is engulfed by the ocean. The fog from the late morning is broken by beams of orange sunlight as it begins to dissipate; showing the scene of the slaughter in its true glory. Takeshi walks over to Po and gives him a helping hand as he pulls him back on his feet. Leon and some of the crew sit down to take a breather while others walk around with shocked expressions upon looking at the condition of the ship and their friends. Little chunks of the ship have been taken out from the sides and upper deck, but still maintaining its buoyancy. The upper deck: caked in blue serpent blood and grey brain matter, and the red blood of fellow sailors whom have lost their lives during the battle. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Po shouts as he points from the starboard of the ship out to sea. The whole crew, along with Takeshi and Leon gaze at the sight of a very large and intimidating green serpent like creature off in the distance as it pauses to look at the sky. The light of dawn shimmers off its green scales as it shakes its spiked, dragon like head before sliding back into the horizon. ¡°Was that¡­the Shipbreaker?¡± a Big Bill says with bewilderment. ¡°Indeed it was, Big Bill.¡± Takeshi utters as he looks on into the horizon where the Shipbreaker was sighted. ¡°What the Pugh is it?¡± Po asks while looking at Takeshi¡¯s unbroken gaze. ¡°Something you don¡¯t want to ever see again.¡± Takeshi states after a long silence, and then intensifies his gaze before snapping back to reality. ¡°Ok, damage report.¡± he shouts adjusting his captain¡¯s hat as various Demons around the ship start calling out. ¡°We¡¯ve lost two cannons to the sea.¡± ¡°Right quarter deck stairs are destroyed.¡± ¡°Damage to the lower-deck¡¯s walls.¡± ¡°No sign of leaking in the cargo deck.¡± ¡°Good.¡± Takeshi says as he tries to wipe off some of the blue blood. He sheaths his sword and goes into the captain¡¯s quarters. Po: picking out bits of brain and dried blood; and Leon: standing with his muscular arms crossed as he remains painted with blue blood; wait for Takeshi to come back out. Takeshi opens the door as a piece of the broken frame hits him on the head; looking up, Takeshi sees the familiar head shaped hole on the top of the door frame, and then continues to briskly walk back to the helm. He quickly unrolls a large piece of parchment in his hand and clears his throat to speak; pulling down his mask and hocking a loogie out to the ocean and watching as it arches over the railing and disappearing into an oncoming wave. ¡°Ok, with the obvious casualties, we need to see who survived¡­Officer roll call.¡± Takeshi looks around while pulling his mask back up as the whole crew stands at attention. After a moment of silence and a cough from Po, Takeshi begins. ¡°Sodomy Sammy?¡± ¡°Here.¡± A voice calls out after cleaning his eye wound and putting on an eyepatch. ¡°Bill¡­.Bill? Shit.¡± Takeshi angrily scribbles off a name with a piece of charcoal. ¡°Big Bill?¡± ¡°Here.¡± A tall Demon calls out ¡°Bigger Bill?¡± ¡°Here.¡± An even taller Demon calls out. ¡°Limp Larry?¡± ¡°Here.¡± A Demon calls out as he hits his wooden peg leg on the wooden deck. ¡°Helga?¡± ¡°Here.¡± A deep voice echoes through the crowd as a hulking Demon woman stands tall and burly with the tuft of her chest hair sticking out of her dirty leather coat. Takeshi and Po both shudder as the hair on Helga¡¯s chest and head sways in the breeze. ¡°I don¡¯t envy her husband.¡± Po whispers as he stands next to Takeshi. His silver and gold eyes squint while scratching his small brown beard accumulated from the last three months journey at sea. Takeshi ignores Po¡¯s comment as he scribbles down something and rolls the parchment back up. ¡°Ok, listen up officers. I need you to do a head count of the remaining sailors on board.¡± Takeshi says as he walks over to the left quarter deck stairs and sits down on the steps. He sighs loudly as the officers perform a head count. Leon and Po sit down with him on the steps. A good amount of time goes by as the ship is dragged closer to shore by the wind. ¡°How many officers do we have left?¡± Po asks as Takeshi wipes a hand down his face in frustration. ¡°Mm¡­four.¡± Takeshi says as he groans and repositions his tricorn captain hat. ¡°How many did we start with?¡± ¡°¡­seventeen.¡± Takeshi answers after a brief pause. ¡°Captain,¡± Big Bill shouts, ¡°We have a total of seventy-five.¡± ¡°Seventy-five?!¡± Takeshi says astonished as he rapidly stands up and makes the crew flinch. ¡°Fuck, seventy-five? That¡¯s only a third of the crew we started with.¡± Takeshi flails his arms around in frustration as he paces up and down the stairs. He then walks up to the ships helm and grabs on to the wheel while taking a deep breath. ¡°Don¡¯t worry men,¡± He begins as he looks at the shoreline with a heavy exhale. ¡°We¡¯re almost to salvation.¡± They continue to sail for another hour before reaching a fjord that leads to a nearby town. The sun starts to fade behind a mountain to their right as they enter the fjord; in the shadows of the mountain, they notice the smell of burning wood. ¡°What¡¯s that smell?¡± Po says as he runs to the bow of the ship and starts to look around for the source. ¡°Leon, grab the map on my desk.¡± Takeshi points behind as he continues to gaze into the shadowed, mountainous valley ahead. ¡°Okey dokey.¡± Leon walks through the quarter¡¯s door as his head perfectly fits through the head shaped hole on top of the door frame. A moment passes as the crew starts to see clouds of smoke billowing out from behind the mountains. ¡°Smoke!¡± Po shouts as he points and gets the attention of crew members that haven¡¯t noticed yet. The crew starts to mutter and question the origins of the smoke as Po walks back to Takeshi with an unappealing look of annoyance on his face. As he approaches Takeshi, whom is still steering, he begins to speak. ¡°You know what this means, right, Takeshi?¡± Po says with a familiar tone. ¡°Could be a riot; who knows? What I do know is that it means free booty.¡± Takeshi says while looking back to see Leon with the map in hand as he towers over him from behind. ¡°Here you go, Takeshi.¡± Leon states as he energetically hands him the map. Takeshi opens the map up as both Po and Leon lean in closer to look along with him; the officers of the crew soon join in to view the map. ¡°Hmm,¡± Takeshi begins as he traces the course with a finger and stops near a town name. ¡°Flipowna: probably a fishing town.¡± A moment of silence passes while Takeshi looks up to guide the ship into the mountain inlet while Po continues to look at the map. Leon stares off into the distance as he becomes lost in thought. ¡°Fire!¡± Limp Larry shouts as he points into the town. They pass the mountain obscuring the view and witness the full extent of what has plagued the townscape. Fires are seen scattered about from buildings to weird symbols stuck in the ground. Debris from recent explosions emanate from the burning grass as smoke wisps out from the craters left behind. Many bodies, too many to count, decorate the town with their blood and entrails. A distant sound of clashing metal is heard, but ceases within an instant of the crew¡¯s arrival on the docks. ¡°Drop the anchor.¡± Takeshi shouts as he rolls up the map. The neurotic confusion of the crew forces them to pause. ¡°But, Captain,¡± Big Bill begins as he untangles his black hair from his large ram like horns. ¡°Do you really want to stick around here? I mean, the town¡¯s on fire.¡± Takeshi raises an eyebrow while looking at him. ¡°Well of course. Think about it; with a town on the cusps of despair, it is easier to loot. Think about how many stores there are to loot in this town. Most of the towns in the Seafaring Nations have a population of at least thirty thousand; including this one here.¡± Takeshi outstretches his hands towards the burning, apocalyptic townscape. The crew looks on at Takeshi, standing on the edge of the ship, as his silhouette dances around with the distant fires illuminating the outlines of his body. ¡°Uh, are you sure about this, Takeshi?¡± Po says as he questions his gallantry. Takeshi briefly pauses, and then runs back into the captain¡¯s quarters. The crew gathers around Po as they look onward at the broken captain¡¯s quarter¡¯s door. A brief moment passes, and Takeshi runs back out with another scroll of parchment and some charcoal as he pushes the door wide open; the sound of the door slamming against the wall makes the ill prepared crew flinch with anticipation. ¡°Ok, here¡¯s the plan.¡± Takeshi eagerly states while he slaps down the parchment on a table and unrolls it. The crew huddles around close to the table and waits for the orders. The parchment has a detailed layout of the town of Flipowna written on it. Po and Takeshi quickly pin the parchment down using their daggers and continue examining the map. ¡°Big Bill, you will lead a team of twenty to the south side of town down this street here.¡± He circles a location and draws a path with the piece of charcoal on the town map. ¡°What should I do?¡± Big Bill asks in intrigue. ¡°Take your twenty men and loot various shops and buildings on this path for anything useful and report back here when you¡¯re finished. Same goes for you, Limp Larry.¡± Takeshi points at Larry with the piece of charcoal as he pauses, then draws out another path heading an adjacent direction. ¡°Ok, Larry. Follow this path heading east, and do the same. Take twenty men, and so on. Bigger bill, you¡¯ll go north on this street and do the same.¡± ¡°What should we do if we run into any enemies or unknown towns-folk?¡± Limp Larry asks as he adjusts his peg leg. ¡°Dispatch them, if hostile; or inquire questions about the circumstances of this dire situation the town¡¯s in. Any other questions?¡± Takeshi looks around for raised hands. ¡°Yes, Helga?¡± ¡°What if we fail to dispatch?¡± She inquires with a deep voice that sends shivers down everyone¡¯s spines. ¡°Well¡­I¡¯ll designate a fall back scout; one for each group. Helga, go with Bigger Bill; Sodomy Sammy, go with Limp Larry; Leon, go with Big Bill. The remaining fifteen men that stay behind will be in charge of helping Po and I repair the ship.¡± ¡°Okey dokey.¡± Leon says with his usual boyish smile and a firm, but goofy thumbs up. ¡°Any other questions?¡± ¡°I have one.¡± Po says as he raises a hand and looks at Takeshi. ¡°What should we do if a team doesn¡¯t return?¡± the crew starts whispering in frightened hushed tones as they begin to worry. Takeshi closes his eyes and raises one hand; the whispering stops and waits for Takeshi¡¯s response. He rests his hands on the table and begins after a brief moment of thought. Takeshi begins to point at a spot on the map: a factory nearby the docks. ¡°From this distance, the factory is relatively untouched by the war torn town.¡± He points across the docks towards the factory. The factory itself is surrounded by a tall brick wall and seems to be functioning in the midst of the town¡¯s ill condition. The dark metal exterior glows coldly as the sun shines upon the upper half of the factory. The chimneys billow out clouds of smoke uninterrupted. ¡°If any group fails to meet back here within twelve hours, Po will place a ward on the boat and the accounted crew will move into that factory.¡± Takeshi ¡°I can¡¯t place wards.¡± Po says with certainty. Takeshi drops his head down and sighs loudly and then rapidly looks back up at Po. ¡°Whatever, we¡¯ll just leave the ship here; I¡¯m sure it¡¯ll be fine; go into the factory. Sound good? Any other questions?¡± Takeshi says in a frustrated tone of voice as he darts around to look for any outlying hands. ¡°Ok, the operation begins now.¡± Takeshi slaps his hands on the table as the crew divides into four groups and set out to explore the destroyed town. As the groups began to leave the boat and branch off into their designated directions, Po inquires Takeshi with one more question. ¡°Do you think any of them will return?¡± Takeshi continues to look out at the three groups with arms folded and begins after a brief moment. ¡°Well, we know our beefy friend and Big Bill will be ok if all else fails.¡± ¡°True; very true.¡± Po says as he begins to rest a hand under his chin and cradle an elbow with another. Takeshi, Po, and fifteen members of the crew repair the ship. The Demon crew creates pulley systems and adventure out to find spare parts and wood that isn¡¯t scorched to bring back to the ship. The hole in the side of the ship, along with the front mast and other parts, are quickly attended to. As they repair the ship, all the members sporadically look into the town in hopes that everyone returns safely. Takeshi and Po start to repair the quarter deck stairs as they gather wood from abandoned ships on the docks. Every so often Po would look into the town and become lost in thought; only to be dragged back to work by the sound of Takeshi¡¯s voice and the snapping of fingers. *Snap**Snap* ¡°Hey, you ok, Po?¡± ¡°Oh¡­yeah, I¡¯m ok.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Po. We have a strong crew; they are survivors of a very dangerous three months out at sea.¡± Takeshi pauses as he stares blankly down to the wooden floor of the quarter deck. His eyes clouded in dark thoughts of the past three months. Po looks down at his hands, his disheveled brown druid robes, and looks back up at Takeshi: still wearing his bleached, dark blue mask and worn ninja fatigues. ¡°Well, what matters is that we¡¯re here now, T.¡± Po begins as he draws Takeshi¡¯s attention, but shows sorrow in his eyes. ¡°Am I a¡­bad captain?¡± Takeshi asks. ¡°You did what you had to do. We¡¯re probably still alive because we have such a great team and crew.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right. You always are, Po¡± Takeshi says as he looks up at the sunny mountain side and the clouds of smoke. The smell of burning oil engulfs the gentle breeze that swiftly runs by the ship. ¡°Don¡¯t fret, Takeshi. Everyone here looks up to us. We¡¯re doing pretty well for a couple of wanderers. And compared to where we were last year, we¡¯re doing pretty-pretty good.¡± Po says with new found enthusiasm as he nudges Takeshi with an elbow. ¡°Yeah, very true.¡± Takeshi says as his eyes brighten up like shiny gold coins. They both continue to hammer planks of wood into the stairway as they talk some more. ¡°Hey did we ever come up with a name for our crew?¡± Takeshi inquires as he briefly pauses his hammering. Po looks at Takeshi with a quizzical expression and begins. ¡°Ugh, no. but I think Leon wanted to call us ¡®The Sweet Boys.¡¯¡± ¡°Pfft¡­That kid and his imagination.¡± Takeshi says as he shakes his head in amused disapproval. ¡°Did you know he¡¯s younger than us?¡± Po quickly states. ¡°What? No way. He¡¯s gotta be at least a little older than us.¡± He says with widened frantic eyes. Po shakes his head slowly as he holds up three fingers. ¡°He¡¯s three years younger than us.¡± ¡°Woah,¡± Takeshi says as he places a hand on his head. ¡°How is he so damn big?¡± ¡°Who knows?¡± Po says as he continues to hammer the plank into the stairway. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a disease, or a curse; probably both.¡± The two and the crew continue to repair the ship for hours, until they finally finish the major damages. The sun: now bathing the town and the ship with radiating sunlight as it shines unhindered by a mountainous sky; half of which seems to be blocked out by an unimpeded cloud of thick black smoke from the factory chimney while the town¡¯s multiple fires start to quell and suffocate from the lack of burnable material. The factory: still untouched after many continued hours of unknown destruction beyond its tall grey brick walls. ¡°How long has it been, Captain?¡± One of the Demon sailors asks as he looks upon a well-lit scene of destruction. Takeshi holds his hand up to his sweaty brow as he gazes at the sun. ¡°It¡¯s been at least five hours, now.¡± He finally states. The crew begins to grow worrisome as they desperately look around for the three groups from the ship. ¡°Look, it¡¯s Big Bill and Leon!¡± A Demon shouts excitedly as they all gaze upon the sight of Big Bill, Leon and twenty men returning as they hold bags and barrels of various items. Leon, with the same childish smile, waves with camaraderie. ¡°It¡¯s Bigger Bill. They¡¯re all ok!¡± the Demon crew rejoices as they witness the second and third group return unscathed; also carrying various barrels and bags of loot. The sailors on the ship cheer and wave various tools around in the air as they danced gaily. The two groups board the ship and begin sorting out the loot as they pack it neatly into the ship¡¯s cargo hold, food storage, and armory. Po grabs the inventory list as Takeshi names off the items recovered from the burning town. ¡°Twenty-eight barrels of potatoes and other nonperishable foods. Fou-fourty barrels of Elven whiskey?!¡± Takeshi says in a gleefully shocked manner while his eyes fixate on the barrels as they are lowered down into the cargo deck. *Snap**Snap* ¡°Takeshi?¡± Po snaps his fingers rapidly and breaks Takeshi¡¯s wide eyed gaze. ¡°Oh, ahem, fifty shields and fifty-two scimitars¡­twelve barrels of¡­milk?¡± Both Takeshi and Po look up at Leon as he stands next to them with an everlasting boyish smile. They look back at each other as Po begins. ¡°Just let it happen, T.¡± ¡°Fine, but twelve barrels? We don¡¯t exactly have a way to keep it from spoiling.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t Goblins and Demons drink rotten milk as an alcoholic drink?¡± Po says as he rubs his charcoal covered fingers on his small beard. ¡°How do you know that? You were raised by fucking wolves!¡± Takeshi says with an annoyed tone as he questions the validity of Po¡¯s statement. ¡°Sodomy Sammy and Big Bill have been catching me up on other cultures.¡± ¡°Oh, ok. You win, this time.¡± Takeshi says harshly as they both continue taking inventory of the loot. The spoils: Including various weapons, tools, cannonballs, and a variety of foods; mostly consisting of bread and potatoes; where lowered down to the cargo deck and stored for future travel aboard the Friendship. After finishing the storage and the sailors started to mingle between each other, Big Bill calls out to the crew after discussing briefly with Helga and Sodomy Sammy about their findings. ¡°Captain Takeshi.¡± ¡°Yes, Big Bill; your report?¡± Takeshi says loudly as to draw the attention of the crew of seventy-five. The crew grows silent as everyone¡¯s attention is drawn to Big Bill; he clears his throat and pushes his hair back before speaking out. ¡°From Bigger Bill, Helga, Sammy and I¡¯s findings; along with various accounts of lynching and towns-folk hung to wooden beams and burned; we conclude that there is an act of genocide upon this town. The repair team grows neurotic as they begin to talk in hushed tones while the venturing parties look on in experienced silence. A gentle breeze blows through the mountain valley as a long standing silence envelope the crew. The sun continues to beat down warm sun beams as it begins its descent behind the mountain peaks to the west. ¡°How have you come to this conclusion, Big Bill?¡± Po inquires with concern as he leans on the quarter decks railing. Takeshi looks on at Big Bill as they both lock eyes. Big Bill walks up and pulls out a peculiar object from his hip satchel; he uncomfortably stares at it for a moment and hands it to Takeshi. Takeshi looks down at the symbol as the crew begins to grow weary and start to panic. Takeshi looks around befuddled at the increased concern and panic of the crew. ¡°What? What is it?¡± Takeshi inquires as he looks upon the pale red faces of his crew. ¡°Well, Captain¡­¡± Big Bill hesitantly starts before clearing his throat loudly. ¡°Ahem¡­It¡¯s the symbol of the Pugh-Pugh¡¯s ¡°The, huh?¡± Po strikes a quizzical expression before looking back and forth at the crew and Takeshi, whom was scratching his brow with the same confused look in his eyes. Big Bill begins again as he walks closer to Takeshi. ¡°Well, the Pugh Pugh¡¯s are a group of religious fanatics that believe in a deity that will one day reduce the entire world to nothing. Most countries shun the practice, but I guess this town had a hidden group that decided to take over.¡± Big Bill begins to rub his forearm as Takeshi stares at the totem. ¡°Don¡¯t you realize that you use their name in vain?¡± ¡°As in, how we say, ¡®son of a Pugh?¡¯ Yeah I know. I just didn¡¯t know anything about them beyond that.¡± Takeshi snickers through his apparent ineptitude towards the subject. Po walks over to the strange wooden totem and pokes at it. ¡°It looks like a flaccid penis.¡± Po blurts out with mild amusement. Takeshi chuckles at the idea and slowly builds up to laughter; the whole crew soon follows with snickering and laughter before finally dwindling down to a silent solace. ¡°Yeah, it kind of does.¡± Takeshi states before stuffing it into a satchel attached to his belt. He looks off in the distance to the nearby grey factory, still pluming out white smoke. ¡°Let¡¯s head out and venture into the town. Follow my lead.¡± ¡°But, Takeshi,¡± Big Bill rests a hand on Takeshi¡¯s shoulder to stop his forward progress. ¡°What about the Pugh-Pughs?¡± Takeshi hesitates to answer for a moment before turning around and resting a hand on Big Bill¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Take a small team of twenty-five with you and investigate the area in question. Bring back details about the lay of the land, how many men they have, what other problems we will face. Limp Larry, help Big Bill with this mission. Meet back at the factory over there when the mission is done.¡± ¡°Yes, Captain.¡± Big Bill and Limp Larry gather a group of Demons and head off into the distant burning buildings of the town. Takeshi struts off the ship with Po and Leon at his side while the rest of the crew follows behind them to the factory. When they reach the outer perimeter of the factory, they walk past a small post near the entrance which says ¡®Anderson and Son¡¯s Wieners.¡¯ The crew, along with Takeshi and Po, look at one another with questionable, twisted faces ranging from confused to intrigue. A large set of steel doors stand over the crew as they approach. Po signals the crew to wait as he, Leon, and Takeshi go to the doors. A large set of strange phallic shaped door knockers distract Takeshi and Po due to its unusual absurdity. Takeshi shakes his head and begins to formulate another loose plan. ¡°Ok, I have an idea, just follow my lead.¡± He then proceeds to knock ferociously on the metal doors, while Po scrambles to find the words. ¡°W-wait-wait-wait,¡± Po begins frantically slapping Takeshi in the face. ¡°Ow-ow, would you stop.¡± Takeshi swats at Po¡¯s hands. ¡°What the hell is wrong-¡° ¡°Don¡¯t you think we should know at least a little bit about the plan?¡± Po quickly interrupts Takeshi. ¡°Nah,¡± Takeshi begins with a wholehearted, nonchalant attitude. ¡°Just don¡¯t talk and we¡¯ll be fine.¡± Po looks on at Takeshi with an increasingly dumbfounded face, and then begins throwing his arms around in silent frustration. The door begins to creak and pop; making Po throw his arms down to his sides in anticipation, while Leon continues looking on with excitement. The door slowly opens as it unveils a male human wearing a chef¡¯s garment. The man slowly walks outside to witness the whole crew while he wipes his hands on his already dirty attire. The man begins to talk with a swipe of his sweaty youthful face. ¡°Uh¡­can I help you?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you remember me?¡± Takeshi begins as he points to himself. The man¡¯s face begins to raise a brow along with Po. ¡°It¡¯s me, your long lost uncle.¡± He smiles coyly as he looks at the man with open arms. ¡°I¡¯m Anderson¡¯s long lost brother. I had trouble finding him after the Demon Wars.¡± The man begins to speak with widened eyes. ¡°Oh, you-you must be Penus.¡± Takeshi becomes flummoxed as he looks to Po for validation of what he had just heard. Po just looks at him incredulously and shrugs. ¡°Yeah,¡± Takeshi begins with the same state of disbelief, ¡°That¡¯s my name. It¡¯s been so long; the last time I saw you, you were just a baby. Do you go by a different name, nowadays?¡± ¡°Oh, no.¡± The man begins as he stiffens up and smiles. ¡°My friends call me Penus, as well. Your brother named me after you.¡± ¡°Oh, ok.¡± Takeshi begins with amusing skepticism. ¡°So, Penus¡­may we come in. My crew and I have travelled far to meet you.¡± ¡°You have?¡± Penus begins to smile with the same boyish charm that Leon emanates. ¡°Well, come in, come in. I¡¯ll get the cooks to make a feast for you and your crew. I¡¯m sure you¡¯re all exhausted¡± The group is invited into a steel-clad room with a luminous, fanciful chandelier. A long, wooden table rests below the chandelier as a myriad of iron plates and forks placed attentively are barely seen through the hundreds of sausages that assault the olfactory senses of everyone in the room. The gamey blood smell dances with hints of smoky wood. The tiresome crew sits down and starts to begin the feast preemptively as Takeshi, Po, and Leon take bites of smoked meat while talking to Penus. ¡°So¡­Penus,¡± Po speaks up after choking down a rubbery piece of meat and carefully setting his fork down. ¡°Do you call these wieners?¡± Po points loosely to the long tubular meat pile steaming on his plate. ¡°Oh, no. We call them hotdogs.¡± Penus says with casual enthusiasm as he stuffs his gullet with a hotdog and masticates with an agape mouth. ¡°Why hotdogs?¡± Takeshi inquires as he stabs a fork into the hotdog and inspects it. ¡°Because it¡¯s made from stray dogs we find roaming the town.¡± Penus takes another hardy bite and looks on at Leon, whom is scarfing down dozens of hotdogs at a time. ¡°Wow, you¡¯re friend over here must be hungry.¡± ¡°Oh, he¡¯s always like that. That¡¯s why we ran out of food after the second month out at sea.¡± Takeshi states as he precariously waves a hotdog around on a fork; with drops of meat juice flinging out of the ends. ¡°Wait, what was that about stray dogs?¡± Po anxiously inquires, but is quickly ignored. ¡°You ran out of food on the second month? Then what did you eat the last month?¡± Penus asks with a peaked interest while he gently sets down another hotdog onto his plate. ¡°Oh, you know, the usual; onions, spoiled milk, fish, and almost a Demon, but Leon stopped that. Limp Larry got his name from that though, so it wasn¡¯t all bad.¡± Takeshi finishes with a hardy bite of a hotdog as he pulls down his mask. He chews with a smile with the hotdog juices dripping down his face as he quickly pulls his mask back up. ¡°Hey, T.¡± Po whispers in a hushed tone to Takeshi while nudging him with an elbow. ¡°Hmm?¡± ¡°You got a little wiener juice dripping doen your face.¡± Po cracks a cheesy grin as he circles his face with a finger. But Takeshi looks on at Po with little amusement while he casual wipes his masked face. ¡°Is no one gonna answer my question, by the way?¡± Po inquires again while redirecting his gaze towards Penus, but is, once again, overpowered by the sounds of the assembly of chefs running out of the kitchen with heaps of hotdogs piled up high on iron plates, as the olfactory smells of smoke refill the room and the pungent odor makes Leon guffaw out loud and clap his hands with joy. The chefs quickly shuffle back into the kitchen as the rest of the crew continues on with the feast; the freshly cooked meat can barely contain the stench of the crew. Then, the chefs stroll out of the kitchen with dozens of iron pint glasses filled with Goblin piss, which also included a dozen Dwarven rum bottles for Takeshi, Po, and Penus. A few chefs rapidly run back into the kitchen and haul out a gigantic bucket filled with milk for Leon. Penus grabs a bottle of Dwarven rum without loosening his goofy, smiling face and takes a big swig from it before observing Takeshi and Po. Takeshi looks over at Leon, gorging himself on milk and hotdogs; then looks over at Po, ceaselessly drinking straight from the bottle. ¡°Ah, there¡¯s nothing like a good rum to wash down the hotdogs.¡± Penus says with enthusiasm while he downs another large gulp of rum. ¡°You gonna drink T- I mean¡­Penus?¡± Po inquires while swishing the bottle around, as to gesture to Takeshi. ¡°Takeshi drink!¡± Leon shouts with excitement. Penus looks at Takeshi with an estranged look. ¡°What did he say?¡± Penus asks, and Po quickly retorts. ¡°Oh, Leon!¡± He runs over to Leon and starts to vigorously pat him on his huge, muscled shoulders without letting go of his Dwarven rum bottle. ¡°He said ¡®Take she drink,¡¯ which means he¡¯s calling Takeshi weak.¡± ¡°Oh, shit. Are you gonna take that sitting down, uncle?¡± Penus questions with mild consternation. A brief moment of silence was able to fill the air with Penus¡¯ questioning, which in turn, intrigued the whole crew dining at the table. With the whole room dead silent, Takeshi slowly examines everyone around him and stands up slowly while keeping his hands on the table. He knocks over the Dwarven rum bottle and speaks with a clear voice. ¡°Helga, hand me a pint of Goblin piss.¡± The Demonoid crew gasps with dizzying anticipation as Helga slides a pint of the lukewarm, yellow liquid with a strong hairy arm. Takeshi stares at the effervescence clinging to the edges of the iron pint, and without further hesitation, he pulls down his bleached dark blue face mask and begins to chug the whole pint down without wincing. The warm piss drips off the side of his face, with the Demon crew slowly building up their excitement as he slams the pint down onto the table. He takes a moment to wipe his face off casually with a thumb and slides his mask back up, while the whole crew starts cheering and clanging their iron pints together. Takeshi slowly sits back down while simultaneously belching into Po¡¯s face. ¡°Oh¡­fuck!¡± Po gags as he desperately tries to fan away the piss smelling haze with his hand. ¡°I cannot believe you drank that after what happened in Zod.¡± Po finishes his sentence with a firm fist slamming down on the table with slight displeasure. ¡°Po,¡± Takeshi begins frankly. ¡°We¡¯ve done worse. And our beefy friend has too, isn¡¯t that right, Leon¡­Leon?¡± Takeshi, Po, and Penus stare at Leon as he playfully shoves two large hotdogs in his nose and snorts; pulling the hotdogs in further, before shooting out and hitting Takeshi in the face and. ¡°Hahaha!¡± Leon begins to jump up and down in his seat as he snorts from laughter. The chair creaks and groans from the weight. Takeshi looks on with mild annoyance and shakes his head. ¡°What the Pugh would we do without you, Leon?¡± Takeshi states as he continues to gaze upon Leon¡¯s disturbingly childish smile. ¡°What happened in Zod?¡± Penus inquires as he perks up with intrigue. Takeshi and Po quickly change their expression to that of admonishment and simultaneously say, ¡°You don¡¯t want to know.¡± Takeshi reaches out and grabs a bottle of Dwarven rum to wash out the piss taste in his mouth before beginning another conversation again. ¡°So, Penus¡­How is my brother?¡± Penus stares at Takeshi and looks into his bottle of rum with a sunken look in his eyes as he begins to tighten his grip on the bottle with an audible squeeze. ¡°My¡­father hasn¡¯t returned home since the end of the Demon Wars. I don¡¯t really know where he¡¯s at. But Penus¡¯s have a long and hard history of warfare.¡± ¡°I¡¯m¡­sorry to hear that. But hey,¡± Takeshi reaches over the table to place a hand on top of Penus¡¯. ¡°If I know my brother, he won¡¯t pull out ¡®till the end. Trust me, nephew.¡± Takeshi closes his eyes cheerfully as he continues to look at Penus¡¯ direction. Penus begins to smile with a single tear rolling down his face. He grips Takeshi¡¯s hand and rests his head upon it while holding back tears. ¡°Oh, Uncle. I hope you are right.¡± Penus exclaims with a sniffle; but right as he finishes his sentence, the large metal doors swing open as two wounded Demons rush in with a limp in their step and blood encrusting their bodies. ¡°What the¡­¡± Takeshi stands up so rapidly that his chair flies out from under him and tumbles over. Po stands up and places two hands on the table to witness the giant metal doors creak open. Two Demons step into the light as Penus begins to question. ¡°What¡¯s going on, uncle?¡± ¡°Captain Takeshi!¡± a loud outcry rings throughout the dining room as the Demon crew begins to shout sporadically in a panic. ¡°It¡¯s Limp Larry and Big Bill!¡± You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. ¡°Oh, no. Limp Larry!¡± ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Hey, get that hotdog out of your nose. No, don¡¯t put it in my ear, Leon.¡± Po becomes distracted by Leon¡¯s haphazard nature, while Takeshi watches in horror as his two officers are the only ones to enter the dining room. Big Bill quickly, but gently, throws Limp Larry¡¯s flaccid body onto the table in front of Takeshi while knocking over a few bottles of rum, which shatter on the ground. Limp Larry, breathless and looking like a dead fish, is a pale shade of red and covered in blood from his gapping lacerations all over his body. ¡°What happened?¡± Po queries as he frantically pulls a large hotdog out of Leon¡¯s nose while looking at Big Bill. Big Bill quickly squeezes his arm with a slap while blood flies around it; He groans in pain as he falls down onto a chair and the rest of the Demon crew gather around the two. ¡°They need medical attention.¡± Takeshi says in a calm manner; turning his head to look at Po. ¡°I got this.¡± Po calmly, yet frantically, rolls up the brown sleeves of his robe and climbs up on the table to examine Larry¡¯s condition. Po¡¯s hands begin to glow a soft, white light while he scans up and down Larry¡¯s body. A long silence falls over the dining room before Penus breaks it with an intriguing question. ¡°Why did he call you Captain Takeshi?¡± ¡°Oh, uh,¡± Takeshi darts his eyes around the room while keeping his gaze away from Penus. ¡°It¡¯s a code name. You know, no one would be afraid of Captain Penus. And I wouldn¡¯t be able to live a normal life if they knew my true identity.¡± ¡°Oh, ok. I guess that makes sense.¡± Penus willingly accepts Takeshi¡¯s answer while he begins to turn pale at the sight of Limp Larry profusely bleeding all over the table. The blood reaches the ends of the table and begins to drip loudly as it echoes throughout the dining room. ¡°Damnit man you got to live.¡± Po shouts in desperation as he hits a vein with the glowing white ball in his hands, forcing an artery to spurt out blood into Po¡¯s eyes. ¡°Ah,¡± Po slowly becomes angry and starts to pull out Larry¡¯s intestinal lining through the lacerations out of frustration. ¡°I swear to fuck: I¡¯ll pull your screaming body back to fucking life.¡± The blood sprays around the table in a flurry and the crew, along with Takeshi, attempt to dodge. Po then quickly shoves Larry¡¯s intestines back in and starts to exhale loudly; he closes his eyes as everyone in the room tries to shake their speechless stares. ¡°Damn, Po.¡± Takeshi adds in as the silence begins to dissipate into whispers of confusion and shock. Po finishes with an audible sigh of discontent and begins to give his diagnosis while the light fades from his hands. ¡°He¡¯s dead.¡± ¡°No shit?¡± Penus hastily adds in, with tongue in cheek. ¡°Damn it all.¡± Takeshi quickly climbs onto the table with Po and gently lifts up Larry¡¯s bloody body to look at his face; a shade of pink and covered in blood, the look in his eyes shows one of terror and acceptance. Takeshi stiffly grips Larry¡¯s shoulder as he holds him up, and the Demon crew looks on with varying faces of sorrow and disbelief. ¡°Oh, Limp Larry. A bond of friendship that was melded by a mutual hatred of this world brought to a cold, bitter end by savages. Damn the irony!¡± Takeshi throws up a stiff fist and shakes it vigorously at the ceiling. ¡°Dramatic, much?¡± Po inquires while he watches Takeshi with a bored expression, and while wiping the blood off of his hands. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you heal Big Bill?¡± Takeshi vigorously slaps Po on the back of the head. ¡°Ow¡­fine.¡± Po slowly steps off the table while glowering at Takeshi; He walks over to Big Bill and begins to place his hands over the lacerations on his arm. The soft, white glow appears from Po¡¯s hands again, while Takeshi pulls answers out from Big Bill. ¡°Ok, what¡¯s their numbers?¡± Takeshi inquires as Big Bill begins to closes his eyes slowly. ¡°Tell me, damn it.¡± Takeshi shakes him back to life while gripping his shoulders. ¡°Mmm, hotdogs. Oh, uh, um,¡± Big Bill starts while catching his breath. ¡°Well, There¡¯s a lot of them; at least one hundred strong. But they¡¯re all gathered around their church, which seems untouched by the rioting. We should be safe under the veil of the night, so-ow!¡± ¡°Shut up, you big baby. I¡¯m almost done.¡± Po says with a tone of slight annoyance as he begins sealing the wound with a magical spell. The light subsides as the wound systematically disappears, and then Po stands up while rubbing his hands together. Takeshi continues with a hand depressed on Big Bill¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Let¡¯s avenge Limp Larry; all of us.¡± Takeshi stands up without letting go of Big Bill¡¯s shoulder and addresses the whole crew; he leans over and outstretches a hand towards Penus. ¡°Will you join us, nephew?¡± ¡°Oh, no,¡± Penus begins abruptly with a nervous wave of his hands in disapproval. ¡°I¡¯m not cut out for these sorts of things. Besides, it¡¯s probably better that I protect my father¡¯s hotdog factory.¡± ¡°Hmm, good point.¡± Takeshi scratches his chin and tightens his bandolier. ¡°Men, I want a team of no more than ten to follow me. The rest, hang back on the Friendship and await our return.¡± ¡°Yes, Captain.¡± The Demon crew obliges, and they all carry on with their assigned tasks. They exit the factory in a hurry as Takeshi, Po, Leon, and ten other Demon crew members; including Big Bill and Helga, run over to the area of interest under the darkness of the moonlit night. After a quick two minute jog, they reach the corner of a dirt road with demolished buildings on either side. The buildings: sporting an array of differentiating damages and burns appear void of life and light. Po peers around the corner of a brothel house, and spots the church; completely surrounded by the congregation and brimming with many candles that light up the surrounding area with a magical aura. Po turns to Takeshi, right behind him, and whispers into his ear. ¡°Looks like they have a magic user, and around fifty¡­sixty people.¡± ¡°Ok.¡± Takeshi signals to the rest of the skirmishing group with a free hand to enter the brothel. The ten Demons and Leon, quickly run into the brothel without making a sound with Takeshi and Po following close behind. Inside, the smell of dust and mildew permeates out of the staunch stone masonry walls, but is unmatched by another peculiar smell wafting throughout the room. ¡°Man, it smells like old prostitutes in here.¡± Po noisily states with a flared nose as he pinches it shut. Others begin to sniff and gag in disgust. ¡°I don¡¯t know, I would probably call it smell of¡­*sniff*¡­dead, old whore, maybe.¡± Takeshi looks around the room with watery eyes. ¡°You mean prostitute?¡± a Sodomy Sammy inquires. ¡°No, Sam. When they¡¯re dead, they¡¯re just whores.¡± Takeshi takes a moment to get another pungent whiff. *Sniff* ¡°Man it smells so bad in here.¡± ¡°You think it¡¯s because of that dead whore over there?¡± Po sarcastically states as he points to a mangled and torn body of a female in the corner of the room. ¡°Well obviously it¡¯s because of that.¡± Takeshi states with a sarcastic tone. They all walk closer to the dead whore and witness a sign hidden away by burn marks and soot. The sign, hanging by a single nail, says, ¡®Rusty Chimneys and Dirty Hoes¡¯ in large, fanciful lettering. ¡°Rusty Chimneys? Makes it sound like you would come here to get diseases.¡± Takeshi exclaims with a pinched nose as he and Po, along with the rest of the crew, walk closer to the dead woman with unenthusiastic faces. They crowd around the woman: mangled and bloodied with broken bones protruding out of various limbs. Flies buzz around in large numbers while the blood around her is completely coagulated and starting to harden. ¡°She¡¯s been dead a long time.¡± Po states. ¡°Yeah, I can tell.¡± Takeshi detects around the room to find clues about what killed her. ¡°What do you think killed her?¡± a random Demon asks while the others look upon Po for the answers. Po says nothing, but Big Bill manages to grab everyone¡¯s attention with a statement. ¡°We¡¯ll, it¡¯s either the Pugh-Pughs or something else entirely.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t really dwindle down our list of suspects.¡± Po explains with a terse tone before beginning with a retort. ¡°Death by flagellation?¡± ¡°What the Pugh does that mean?¡± Takeshi inquires as he begins to stand directly over the woman to look for clues. ¡°Ever heard of the annual Flogging Tournaments, Takeshi?¡± Big Bill asks with arms crossed. ¡°Yeah, who hasn¡¯t?¡± ¡°Same concept.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Takeshi pauses for a brief moment before beginning his investigation. ¡°So what killed her?¡± Po questions once more while scratching his small brown beard. ¡°Maybe this?¡± Takeshi slightly rolls the body on its side as he pulls out a large dagger from her back. The dagger, encrusted with blood, seems to hold the same strange symbol of the Pugh-Pughs in the pommel. ¡°We¡¯ll don¡¯t just pull it out of her.¡± ¡°What? She can¡¯t feel it.¡± Takeshi says in a slightly irritated tone as he hovers over the woman¡¯s corpse and brandishing the dagger. ¡°We¡¯ll get rid of it. We know who did it now.¡± Takeshi looks at Po with disapproval as he sticks the knife back into the woman¡¯s chest. A massive amount of fly larvae begin to pour out of the newly created wound. ¡°Ew, gross.¡± Takeshi quickly steps back as the others do as well. They all begin to examine the state of the building further as they traverse the various floors up to the top. Not just one, but dozens of dead bodies scatter and stain the wooden floor and lavish decor with a crimson red hue. The stench of rot and putrid flesh hits the crew like a thick soup of air. Everyone in the upper floor pinches their nose in disgust as they desperately run to the windows for a reprieve of fresh air. An ominous wind picks up as they all look outside and witness the distant chanting of the idealistic congregation set before them across the street. Po takes it upon himself to ready his scythe, but Takeshi signals to him and starts to speak in a hushed tone. ¡°Don¡¯t worry Po, I have an idea.¡± *Burp* A loud dissonant belch escapes out before Takeshi¡¯s face as he unavoidably takes a deep inhalation of Po¡¯s putrid stomach blasts. *Sniff* ¡°Son of a Pugh, it smells like hotdogs.¡± Takeshi quickly exacerbates the problem by accidentally fanning it towards himself. ¡°Oh, fuck.¡± Takeshi frantically back steps to the other side of the room to breathe in deeply the smell of rotting corpses. He then walks back towards Po and looks at him with a stern face as the other Demon crew members look on in goofy expressions; with the closer ones fanning away the foul stench of hotdogs with a desperately fanning hand. The buzzing of flies goes unabated as Takeshi strikes a stern, pissed off look in his eyes directly at Po. He then quickly changes moods and calmly begins to talk to Leon, whom is looking out the window seemingly lost in thought. ¡°Leon,¡± ¡°Yes, Takeshi?¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid of boats and goats? I remember you talking about it during our three month trip.¡± ¡°Yes, boats ok now. But Leon no like goats. Leon want smash goats to help friends.¡± With a large oversized fist, Leon pounds the inside of his open palm with a hardy and audible thud, which forces everyone else in the room to flinch unwillingly at the sight of his passive anger. ¡°You see those people down there, Leon?¡± Takeshi starts up again without hesitation. Leon looks out the window to witness the congregation gathering outside to begin performing an unknown ritual; they begin to hold hands and chant in a circle as one member draws the symbol of their god into the dirt in front of the church. ¡°Those people are all goats in disguise, Leon.¡± Takeshi states with a grinning, cold-blooded tone while he points a stiffened arm outside at the congregation. Leon looks on in silence as the rest of the crew looks on with fear stricken eyes and begin to neurotically take multiple steps back. Leon¡¯s eyes begin, seemingly for the first time, to burn with rage as even Takeshi and Po begin to back off with the inevitability of Leon¡¯s next move. With a blood thirsty tone, Leon begins to speak with a hateful rage almost choking him as he flexes. ¡°Leon don¡¯t like goats. Goats must die!¡± In an instant, Leon smashes through the fourth floor window and plummets down to street level; scaring the congregation, and even the crew as they watch with consternation and wide eyes. The alerted church goers begin frantically attacking Leon, but to no avail. Leon begins tearing them limb by limb, body by body. Holes, the size of horses, begin taking form where Leon has smashed people down into the dirt road. The screams of the terrified Pugh-Pugh¡¯s are quickly muddled by the sound of Leon paving the road with their entrails and crushed bones. The cracking of spines withers away the distant sound of thunderstorms, while Takeshi and Po, along with the rest of the crew, hold back their vomit from the shear atrocity laid out before them by Leon¡¯s hands of frightful vengeance. Leon continues, on and on, for what seems like forever, as the rest of the party watches in astonishment at the destructive path that Leon can create with little effort. The pounding of fists hitting solid the stone blocks of the church diminishes the cries of terror that the Pugh-Pugh congregation holds as they make futile attempts to avoid any further deaths. ¡°Leon¡­HATE¡­GOATS!¡± a booming shout echoes loud and far as the birds in the surrounding area flee in trepidation. Blood splashes around the building with the mangled, limp bodies breaking the window panes as they are tossed out the window at a blistering pace. Screams of terror are quickly ceased by the sounds of large crunching noises followed by the splashing of blood, as if buckets of water were being thrown around inside the church. ¡°Damn, what did you do, captain?¡± Big Bill asks hesitantly with a worried, pale red face. ¡°Me? I hardly did anything at all.¡± A sneaky look in Takeshi¡¯s eyes jumps out at the crew as they look at him with mixed feelings of fear and anxiety. ¡°We should probably go.¡± Po says while lifting up his robe and sprinting out of the room. The crew soon follows along with Takeshi. They all make it to the church, ostensibly painted a fresh shade of crimson, while the sound of Leon¡¯s fists breaking bones echoes in the corridor. They walk slowly through the broken wooden front doors, while stepping over large chunks of bloody corpses. Various parts of the church¡¯s walls are left with giant holes in the stone masonry. Slowly, but surely, they reach Leon, whom is still on a rampage near the chancel of the church. Leon wraps up his killing spree as he pins one peculiar looking man to the ground and tosses him like a play thing into a stain glass window. *Shatter* The Pugh-Pugh worshipper breaks the window pane with the back of his head as glass rains down upon him while his body¡¯s forward progress is halted by the stool. A loud crack is heard, and the man groans in agony; with his spine shattered, he has no choice but to gasp desperately while Takeshi and Po walk up to him. Takeshi draws his katana from the sheath on his back and points at the broken man, and from his venerable, aging appearance, wheezes continuously with chagrin. ¡°Now,¡± Takeshi begins with a composed tone and a pointed katana. ¡°I¡¯m gonna ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer them as truthfully as you can, or¡­I won¡¯t be held accountable to what I might do to you.¡± ¡°You better answer our questions, ¡®cause you really don¡¯t want to piss off our humble, beefy friend over there.¡± Po chimes in with a thumb pointed over his shoulder at Leon looking starry eyed at the shiny gold accoutrements on the altar. ¡°Ooh, Leon like shiny things.¡± He pokes a large golden goblet with a giant finger, causing the broken old man to shout in discontentment. ¡°Don¡¯t¡¯ touch that you-agh.¡± Takeshi thrusts his katana into the man¡¯s chest, and a large audible thud is heard. He pushes the man¡¯s beard out of the way and reaches into the man¡¯s robes and pulls out a very old and strange book; it seems to be written in an unknown language as the pages are yellow with that old book smell to it. Takeshi tosses the book to Po, whom fumbles as it lands in his palms. ¡°Here, Po. I can¡¯t read the damn thing; can you?¡± Po takes a moment to scan the cover and the contents inside. ¡°Hmm¡­no, I can¡¯t decipher it.¡± Po then tucks it away into a satchel inside his robe, while the old man begins to squirm. ¡°You get your hands off of that you errant-Ack!¡± The man¡¯s yelling is ceased by the tip of Takeshi¡¯s katana being slowly inserted into the man¡¯s shoulder blade. Blood trickles down and becomes saturated into the man¡¯s decorative robes, and begins to scatter and cover up parts of his large grey beard going down to his stomach. ¡°Question one: who are you?¡± ¡°I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m the high priest of our graceful and benevolent god, Pugh- ahh!¡± Takeshi begins twisting the blade, causing the priest to become very distraught as he begins to fade out. ¡°Ah-ah-ah, we can¡¯t have you dying on us now.¡± Takeshi states as he signals Po to stabilize the priest. With a quick touch of the priest¡¯s shoulder by Po¡¯s hand, the man wakes up and sits in silence with neurotic eyes and beads of sweat beginning to run down his face. The Demon crew members watch with anxious faces from afar. ¡°You don¡¯t have much charisma; do you, rogue?¡± Takeshi then frustratingly begins twisting his katana again as he speaks with annoyance. ¡°Ninja, Ninja; I¡¯m a ninja damn it. Why does no one know what a fucking ninja is? Is it a rare commodity outside of my home country?¡± Takeshi turns with an outstretched arm to his Demon crew for an answer as they all begin shaking their heads in agreement. ¡°Yes-yes, it¡¯s pretty rare, captain.¡± They all say while mumbling to one another and to Takeshi, whom rolls his eyes, and then looks back at the old man. ¡°You won¡¯t get far with that much charisma.¡± The old man says with a grunt as he winces from the pain. ¡°Please, anyone can succeed if they have enough charisma, which I have.¡± Takeshi then pauses to clear his throat before beginning again. ¡°Question two: Why is this town destroyed?¡± ¡°We did it¡­because our god commanded us to do so.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Takeshi stabs his katana through the man¡¯s shoulder; forcing the tip of the katana to bury into the stool of the window. ¡°Ahh!¡± the priest cries out in desperation. ¡°I hate your type. You think you¡¯re being just, as you blindly follow a false deity who doesn¡¯t give two Goblin shits about you. I¡¯ve had enough of your¡­your¡­ fuck, what¡¯s the word I¡¯m looking for?¡± Takeshi snaps his fingers as he looks around at Po and his Demon crew for the answer. ¡°Enough of your shit?¡± a Sammy says. ¡°No that¡¯s not it.¡± Takeshi shakes his head while continuing his finger snapping. ¡°Exasperations?¡± Po chimes in. ¡°No, not that.¡± ¡°Piety?¡± The priest says as he begins to gag on his blood. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s it.¡± Takeshi says as he quickly swings back into his angry mood. ¡°I¡¯ve had enough of your piety.¡± ¡°Our god will strike his wrath upon you infidels.¡± The priest¡¯s voice, stricken and hoarse with anger as he chokes on blood, balls up a fist at Takeshi and Po, whom watch with unchanged, expressions of apathy. Takeshi twists the blade and pulls it closer to the priest¡¯s heart. Screams of agony belt out as Takeshi shouts at the man with anger, ¡°Fuck your god. This is for Larry.¡± And in one swift motion, Takeshi pulls the sword out of the man¡¯s chest and decapitates him; they watch as the priest¡¯s head sails out the window. But, as they watched, the earth begins to quake. Everyone in the building attempts to keep their balance, but eventually fall over due to the tremendous shaking. Distant buildings in close proximity to the church begin to crumble under the stress and a bolt of lightning strikes the ground in front of them, just outside the broken window. As the discolorations subside from the blinding light, the crew is met with the sound of the church roof being ripped off by a large, scaly, clawed hand. The loud crash and crumbling sound is heard behind them as the building next door is destroyed by the roof of the church and collapses like a ton of stone bricks. The crew looks up and gazes upon a large, three headed hydra towering over them. The shadow of the bestial creature covers the entire church, and the Demon crew flees in a panic from the sight. ¡°Wait, where are you going?¡± Po shouts with incredulity as he and Takeshi, along with Leon, stand wide eyed at the hydra¡¯s three heads looking down upon them with sharp red, reptilian eyes. Takeshi raises an eyebrow and turns toward Po as he readies his katana. ¡°Po, what¡¯s with the one on the right?¡± Takeshi inquires as they both look up simultaneously at the far right hydra head picking his nose using its tail with a satisfied face. The middle hydra head turns toward the right and begins to speak in a loud, wispy tone in the Draconic language. ¡°For fucks sake, Ren, could you not use our tail to pick your disgusting nose?¡± ¡°Duh, sorry Mel.¡± Takeshi and Po look awkwardly at each other as they scratched their heads at the strange sight before them. ¡°Psst, what are they saying, Po?¡± Takeshi asks with a hushed tone. ¡°Do you really want to know?¡± ¡°Mm, not really.¡± Takeshi, looking around the destroyed church, begins to speed towards an open window on the other side, away from the hydra. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Po shouts a whisper just before Takeshi is able to jump out the window; instead he sits on the sill and looks back at him to explain. ¡°Well there¡¯s no point for me to be here, now is there?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll I can¡¯t speak Draconic; only you can.¡± ¡°I need you here.¡± ¡°Why?¡± After Takeshi¡¯s inquiry, Po pauses briefly to find an answer, but instead gives a half assed one. ¡°Moral support.¡± ¡°Pfft, you got Leon for that. If shit goes south, he¡¯ll help you.¡± Po turns to Leon and watches as he tries to take bites out of a golden goblet; seemingly uninterested in the towering hydra before him. ¡°Later, P.¡± ¡°Wait.¡± Po reaches out to Takeshi, but is too late as he jumps out of the window and scurries away in the shadows. A shout comes from outside while Po watches a black figure speed away from the area. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll bring you back some good loot.¡± ¡°Hey¡­human,¡± the booming voice of the hydras center head begins to speak in the slithery tongued language of Draconic. ¡°Ah they can¡¯t understand us.¡± ¡°You sure about that?¡± Po shouts at the hydra, making all three heads lean back with surprised expressions. ¡°You speak the mother tongue, human?¡± ¡°Indeed I do.¡± ¡°What about your muscle bound friend over there; does he speak the mother tongue?¡± The hydra heads and Po turn to Leon, still trying to eat the golden goblet. ¡°Leon not like.¡± He throws down the goblet in frustration and begins to pout with arms crossed, while Po begins the conversation again. ¡°Um, he is not the brightest torch.¡± Po smile anxiously. The left dragon begins while rolling his eyes. ¡°You can say that again.¡± And they watch as their right head laughs gleefully while still picking his nose with their tail. ¡°What is your name, human?¡± ¡°I am the one called Po. And what are you called?¡± ¡°We are called Len, Mel, and our dumbfounded brother here is called Ren. We were summoned here for an unknown purpose.¡± ¡°Really we were taking a shit when we just teleported out of-¡° ¡°Len¡­come on. He doesn¡¯t need to know that. It¡¯s bad enough we all share the same anus. And that dipshit over here refuses to eat anything but rocks.¡± ¡°Your point, Mel?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll I¡¯ll be a lot less angry if you¡¯d stop eating those damn chimeras. I know that you can feel that burning all the way through too.¡± ¡°Um, hydra.¡± Po nervously says and reels back the attention of the two bickering hydra brothers. ¡°What is it human?¡± ¡°So,¡± Po begins as he clears his throat and takes a few steps closer to Leon. ¡°Do you have an intended purpose for being here?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ you know, now that you mention it. We do have a reason.¡± Len, the left head of the hydra, begins to strike a sinister smile as he begins to whisper into Mel¡¯s ear. ¡°Let¡¯s kill them and eat them. I heard humans were supposed to taste really good.¡± ¡°Really? I heard the opposite.¡± ¡°You know I can hear you?¡± ¡°Oh um,¡± the hydra takes a step back and begins to feign ignorance as they blankly glance around the town¡¯s destruction. ¡°Oh, uh, we were just going to visit the volcano of this island. I heard it¡¯s quite active this time of year.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t give me that shit.¡± Po, with a change of moods, stomps his foot down and crosses his arms while striking a stern look at the hydra. ¡°I propose a wager.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± the hydra heads move into the church and get within punching distance of Po. Maintaining a shaky posture, Po doesn¡¯t budge an inch and stares down the hydra as he looks at his reflection from the hydras giant red, reptilian eyes. The hydra¡¯s multiple nostrils flair and puff out a bit of steam, forcing Po to pinch his nose from the old cabbage smell. ¡°Do you think you have a say in the matter? We¡¯re gonna eat you regardless. Hmm?¡± The hydra is caught off guard as they watch Po stiffly raise a hand signaling to stop. Po begins his retort abruptly. ¡°If you win an arm wrestling match.¡± ¡°Huh? A what?¡± the hydra heads look at each other with puzzling expressions. ¡°If you win a game of strength, you can do whatever you¡¯d like to me.¡± Po stands firm with arms akimbo as the hydras multiple mouths crack a smile and an uproar of laughter ensues; forcing a gale of hot wind to knock over a small portion of the remaining stone masonry wall of the church. ¡°Hahaha, oh, who knew that we would meet a human of such grandiose?¡± The hydra heads begin again with a chilling tone of voice while sharpening their gaze as they fixate on Po. ¡°Ok, human. And what if we lose?¡± ¡°You will go back to whence you came, and never return.¡± The hydra pauses briefly to frown and snarl with a loud blow of their noses before giving their answer. ¡°We accept your challenge, but we must make haste. We hate wasting time.¡± The hydra steps closer to the church and sets a very large and scaly arm onto the church floor, crumbling the rest of the wall between them. Po looks at them with a coy expression as he points a finger towards Leon. ¡°Leon will be representing us for this match.¡± ¡°Pfft whatever human, let¡¯s do this.¡± Right then, Leon locks hands with the hydra and look at each other. The hydra heads all look as fierce as they can be, while Leon continues with a boyish charm and a glint in his eye of the midnight moon glowing softly over the church. Silence falls over the hydra and Leon locking arms; Po takes a few steps back away from the two before he starts to count down. ¡°On three¡­one¡­two¡­three!¡± In an instant, time seems to slow down for Po as he watches Leon break the arm off of the hydra with a loud snap and the tearing of flesh rapidly filling the silent void of sound. Leon tears the flesh apart as he pulls the arm down; smashing it into the wooden floor and into the rocky ground below. Splintered wood fragments and red blood splatter the crumbled white stone masonry walls of the church, the dark wooden floors, and all on the left side of Po as he flinches and guards his face from the oncoming wave. The hydra flails its arm wildly while screeching at an ear piercing volume. ¡°Ahhh, our arm. You mother fuckers.¡± The hydra angrily spits as it yells out to Leon and Po. ¡°I¡¯ll kill you.¡± ¡°Wait, Mel.¡± One of the heads calls out. ¡°We can¡¯t defeat this man, we will get slaughtered.¡± A long pause draws out as the center head brainstorms an idea. After a moment, the hydra heads get close together and whisper. Po looks on with an unimpressed look as he crosses his arms. ¡°Ah ha,¡± the hydras exclaim as they flick their tail and destroy a building behind them. ¡°Now you will learn of our plan as it unfolds.¡± ¡°You guys are going to destroy the whole island, yes?¡± Po inquires, fixating his unimpressed gaze upon the hydra as they look around desperately. ¡°Oh um¡­¡± ¡°You know, for hydras your whispers are more like screams to me.¡± Po states, making the dragon snarl and slap its tail around destroying a few more buildings behind them. ¡°Ok, so what? We will destroy everything this island has to offer, and then we will move on to the east to destroy more. And we¡¯ll start with¡­*sniff*¡­that delightful smell.¡± Po looks around to witness a small plume of smoke coming from the hotdog factory in the distance being fanned over to them by the gales of the night sky. ¡°Ooh what do that?¡± ¡°Shut up Ren, you lower the intelligence of everyone here.¡± The hydra slowly looks down towards Po and asks a question with a serious tone. ¡°Po, the mother fuckest, do tell, what is that delightful smell?¡± ¡°Uh, the¡­hotdog factory?¡± ¡°Hotdogs, hmm.¡± The hydra gazes at the distant factory while the other heads tend to the broken arm, profusely bleeding a dark red blood; practically creating a lake inside the church as Po steps back to avoid the ever increasing red pool. ¡°Po, the mother fuckest, you will be eaten after everything on this island is destroyed by our mighty power, until then, we¡¯re gonna have a feast of those delicious smelling hotdogs.¡± ¡°We like wieners.¡± ¡°Oh my, Pugh. Shut up, Ren.¡± The hydras argue as they daintily step over the church, destroying what was left of it, and travels off into the distance towards the factory. Po and Leon watch with terrified wonder; or, at least, Po was. ¡°Quick, Leon, let¡¯s go back to the Friendship.¡± Po shouts as he waves down Leon while in a full sprint. Leon scratches his head with his huge hand while looking at Po. But he quickly changes his gaze to that of his usual boyish smile and shouts, ¡°Okey dokey, Po.¡± They run under the darkest veil of night as the only lights are the dwindling fires in various buildings decimated by the riot of the Pugh-Pughs and the giant clawed feet of the hydra. After a brief run, they reach the boat as the Demon crew rejoices over the sight of the two returning. ¡°Po, and Leon are back. Hooray!¡± The Demons begins to shout and holler, but Po then tries to cease their yelling as he grabs a torch from Sodomy Sammy. ¡°Hey,¡± Po shouts while brandishing the torch. ¡°Cease your yelling. We don¡¯t want to alarm the hydra.¡± ¡°Hydra?¡± a few of the Demons begin to worry as they have just learned about the beast. The knowing Demon crew members begin to explain to the rest in hushed whispers and murmurs. ¡°Don¡¯t panic. I bargained with it, and we should be fine. Now, where¡¯s Takeshi?¡± Silence falls as the crew and Po look around and beyond the ship. The light of their torches obscures the distant darkness of the town. A few moments pass before a figure limply jumps out of the shadows and begins to stagger its way towards the boat. ¡°Look, it¡¯s Captain Takeshi.¡± Big Bill shouts as the whole crew turns to view the dark blur come into the torch light. Takeshi is seen holding his stomach with one eye closed from blood leaking over it. His clothes are torn in multiple spots and deep lacerations protrude out from the tears. The once dark blue ninja fatigues have been saturated into a crimson red. ¡°Takeshi?¡± Po worryingly looks at him as he climbs onto the boat and collapses into Po¡¯s arms. The look of a defeated man rises out from Takeshi¡¯s bleak expression in his eyes; the rest of him remains limp from blood loss and anguish. ¡°Captain?¡± the crew members encircle him and look at his mangled body, profusely bleeding and dripping onto the dark wood of the ship¡¯s main deck. Takeshi slowly opens one eye and begins to reach up and grab Po¡¯s shoulder with a bloody hand; his captain¡¯s hat, slightly torn at the brim, slides off his head and splashes onto a puddle of blood collecting below him. ¡°They dun killed ol¡¯ Takeshi, Po.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t talk like that. You sound like a backwoods Elf.¡± Po says with a sarcastically calming voice with a back hand wiping the blood from Takeshi¡¯s eyebrows. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Robbed a blacksmith¡¯s shop¡­turns out he¡­was still there¡­ran a sword through my side¡­among other things.¡± A loud cough belts out of Takeshi as he spits out blood like a fountain. ¡°You dumbass, you almost got yourself killed.¡± Po laughs a bit before cracking a smirking face at Takeshi. ¡°Oh, I got some¡­loot for us.¡± Takeshi slowly pulls out a satchel from his waist onto his stomach and begins pulling out a few accoutrements. ¡°Look.¡± Takeshi coughs up a bit of blood; a squishing sound is heard as Takeshi flinches and unveils two books: one book entitled ¡®Learning Draconic,¡¯ and the other ¡®Fire Spells for Beginners.¡¯ ¡°You crazy mother fuckest of fuckers.¡± Po begins as he examines the books and wipes away Takeshi¡¯s blood spilling onto them. ¡°Captain, don¡¯t die.¡± The crew members begin to question Takeshi¡¯s condition while they stare with worrying looks. ¡°Takeshi, no die!¡± Leon shouts with painful tears of sorrow as he wipes them away with his beefy fingers. ¡°Go on¡­without me, boys. I¡¯ll be ok. I have a sick and twisted date with death to attend.¡± ¡°Oh, quit being so dramatic.¡± Po says as he reaches into his robe and pulls out a strange looking bottle with a bright red liquid in it. ¡°I¡¯ve been saving this just in case one of us got into serious trouble. Here, drink it.¡± Takeshi slowly grips the bottle with a bloody hand, and opens the cork with an audible pop. As he slowly guzzles down the drink, the bleeding lacerations begin to dissipate and sizzle with a small vapor cloud wisping off of them. After just a moment and half a potion bottle later, the bleeding subsides and the cuts disappear completely; leaving only faint traces of blood behind. ¡°Holy shit; that worked?¡± Takeshi says with a flabbergasted look in his eyes. He slowly, but surely, stands back up with a helping hand provided by Po. Leon looks on, as he wipes away the tears, with a familiar boyish smile. ¡°Takeshi better!¡± Leon says while jumping up and down; he rocks the boat along with him by his shear force. Takeshi walks back from Po as he examines the lacerations on his body, seemingly erased from existence. He takes a moment to adjust his bandolier and turns to Po. ¡°What was that, Po?¡± ¡°It was a greater health potion I kept with me from Dales. I¡¯d figured we would need it on our journey.¡± ¡°We probably need more of it; since it¡¯s bound to happen again. I can feel it.¡± *Roar* ¡°Look!¡± one Demon frantically points outwards towards the factory in the moonlit distance; a slow, but dark cloud begins to close in on it. A few hundred feet over, the crew, along with Takeshi, Po; and Leon, when he is not distracted by a butterfly in close proximity; watches as a giant hydra appears from over the hills and begins to quake the earth on his way over toward the hotdog factory. Distant lightning is seen, along with the sound of crumbling stone masonry. Screams, cacophonously crying out, are almost drowned out by the sound of thunder. The crew watches in distress as the visible body of Penus is thrown up into the air by the jaws of one of the heads and is then eaten whole. ¡°Wow,¡± Po begins astonished. ¡°I feel bad for his dad. What was his name? Anderson?¡± ¡°Yeah, good thing we won¡¯t ever meet him.¡± Takeshi says while making his way up the ramp to the helm of the ship. He readjusts his pirate hat as he quickly grasps the wheel and begins shouting orders to the crew. ¡°Hoist the sails, prepare the port side cannons, give me some whiskey; we¡¯ve got a long night of sailing waiting for us if we¡¯re gonna make it to the next town alive.¡± The loud roar of a pissed off hydra is heard as it stomps the factory flat to the ground and begins to munch on thousands of hotdogs at a time. The rolling thunder strikes the distant mountains behind them; with this signal, they begin to sail off further down the river. ¡°Po, change the wind direction to head south.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± With a gyration of his hips and a circular motion with his hands, Po forces the winds to head south; a strong gale occurs as it pushes the Friendship along down the river. ¡°I really hope that hydra doesn¡¯t follow us.¡± ¡°I have a feeling it will, Po.¡± ¡°How are you so sure?¡± ¡°Well, you got to know these things when you¡¯re a captain, you know?¡± ¡°So, where are we heading off to now, captain?¡± Big Bill inquires while he walks up the stairs and onto the quarter deck. Takeshi looks at Po as they both make goofy grins at each other; with a sharp turn of the wheel, and the ship beginning to leave the docks of Flipowna and the hydra to their own vices, Takeshi looks on as he begins to speak. ¡°Oh, you¡¯ll see, Big Bill. You¡¯ll see.¡± Session 3: R ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°is ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡® ¡° ¡° ¡® ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡® ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°is ¡° ¡°¡­ ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°¡­ ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° you ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°adventuring ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°after ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°¡­ ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡°is ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° ¡° Session 4.1: There... One month later¡­ The sun beats down on the coast of Hanakiki as the autumn leaves begin to fall and dance in the cold, gentle breeze. The afternoon is bustling with noise and excitement as the spice ships begin to dock next to the Friendship. With calm waters on the river front and the booming density of the populous town of Hanakiki in full effect, the crew of the Friendship prepare for Takeshi¡¯s return as they restock the ship with supplies and cannons. ¡°Preparations are finished, first mate Po.¡± Big bill inclines as he stands before Po, whom is picking his nose. ¡°Good work, Big Bill; and stop being so formal with me. Po flicks his fingers; with R watching the snot ball fly into the river between the boat and the docks. A gentle breeze rolls in as Po¡¯s lengthy beard sways back and forth, distracting R. ¡°Ok.¡± Big Bill says with veneration. He gives outstretches his arms, cracks a few fingers, and then walks off to continue working around the ship with the rest of the crew. ¡°This was a good idea, R. now we can gather more crew members.¡± Po says as he and Little R lean up against the sides of the plank of wood leading up to the Friendship, while a sign sits next to them with the painted black words reading, ¡®Boats, Beer, Booty? Gold? Glory? Adventure? Join the crew of the Friendship and discover the unknown.¡¯ ¡°Indubitably, though I don¡¯t see why you insisted on adding that first line of questioning to it. Seems a bit excessive.¡± ¡°It¡¯s supposed to be provocative. Plus, it¡¯s not the wording that counts, it¡¯s the meaning behind the words that count.¡± Po insists with emphasis. ¡°I suppose, but we have to wait and witness if it works at all.¡± R says as he begins to readjust his black robes and carelessly flings around his pets, nesting in his many inside pockets. The little girl next to him flinches from the unexpected movement as her long black hair flies around and obscures her face. *Meow* Po looks at R with arms crossed and a face of indifference. ¡°Did you have to buy all those pets, and a slave girl?¡± In that instant, a large tabby cat begins to climb out from R¡¯s pocket and rests on his slender shoulders; along with two rats quickly climbing out and resting on the opposite shoulder. ¡°Well, of course. It was necessary for Ratty to have a girlfriend, and Rocco over here to¡­well, to be a feline companion.¡± ¡°You just wanted a cat didn¡¯t you?¡± Po says with the same indifference as earlier. ¡°No, shut up, Rocco¡¯s indispensable to the team I¡¯m constructing from the ground up.¡± ¡°And the little girl?¡± Po points with a flaccid finger. ¡°I at least need a slave that can tend to my needs.¡± Po looks on at R with a sharpened gaze of disgust. ¡°What the fuck, R.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t hate the buyer; hate the trade.¡± ¡°Excuse me, Little R and Po,¡± Sodomy Sammy swings into close proximity to the two as he hangs onto the ratline with one hand. He scratches under his eyepatch and then pulls out a strange looking, yellowish, oblong object from his coat pocket and holds it up to Po and R. ¡°What is this, and why do we have a whole crate full of them?¡± ¡°Oh, that.¡± R and Po state at the same time as they scratch their heads. ¡°Well,¡± Po begins. ¡°It¡¯s called a Chim-chiminey-chim-chiminey-chim-chiminey-Chumunga fruit, apparently. We got it from the town of Turango, just thirty miles south of Hanakiki.¡± Sodomy Sammy stares at them with genuine confusion and a speechless expression. ¡°Chumunga?¡± ¡°According to a Dwarf man named Jim, whom enjoyed polymorphing into a cat.¡± R chimes in, causing Sammy to scratch his head even more quizzically. ¡°A polymorphing Dwarf?¡± Sodomy Sammy jumps down off of the ratline and joins the two next to the bridge leading to the dock. ¡°Yeah, and they taste ok. It¡¯s real bitter.¡± ¡°Couldn¡¯t you just peel off this yellow skin?¡± Sammy states as he begins to peel back the fruit, revealing a white oblong section under it. ¡°Hmm, I never thought of that.¡± R says in disappointment and begins to look down onto the docks as a myriad of humanoids continue to walk by and ignore their sign. ¡°Wow, these aren¡¯t half bad.¡± Sammy says with delight as he masticates with an agape mouth. However, Po and R¡¯s attention is captivated by an approaching rogue with a strange, familiar face. ¡°Willy?¡± Po shouts over to the man as he reaches the bridge leading up to the Friendship. Willy¡¯s tattered black leather rogue clothes obscure the multitude of knifes on his bandolier and thighs. His rapier: well-worn on the handle and sheath, is placed on his hip; along with a few pockets and a satchel, of which he reaches into and pulls out a peculiar looking pouch. Willy takes a hardy sniff from the bag, tucks it back into his satchel, and then begins to walk up the bridge before beginning to speak. ¡°I thought about it.¡± Willy says as he stands before Po, and R. ¡°And?¡± Po begins with a raised eyebrow of intrigue. ¡°I¡­I would like to join your crew. I¡¯ve already lost the one friend I had left on this island, so there¡¯s no point for me to stay other than nostalgic purposes, which I loathe.¡± ¡°Good, welcome to the crew.¡± A voice calls out behind Willy; leaving Po and R grinning at the sight. ¡°Well, well, look who decided to show up.¡± Po waves at the sight of a man in burnt, ash covered ninja fatigues and a gleam in his golden eyes. Willy turns around and waves with a limp wrist. ¡°Hey, Takeshi.¡± Willy takes a few steps down the bridge and reaches out to shake his hand. They both give a hardy shake as Takeshi begins the conversation again with a fiery look in his eyes. ¡°I knew you would join us.¡± ¡°How would you know something like that?¡± ¡°I can see it in your eyes. In fact, it¡¯s in all of our eyes.¡± ¡°Pfft,¡± Little R begins, while quickly placing a hand of intrigue under his chin. ¡°What is it; some kind of discoloration?¡± ¡°Curiosity.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± R says as Takeshi walks ahead of Willy and back onto the boat. Willy soon follows, and then they begin preparations to set sail for the next course of action. After about half an hour of preparation, Takeshi grabs his tri-corn captain¡¯s hat and begins to speak loudly out to the old and new crew members as Po, R, Leon, Willy, Helga, Sammy, and Big Bill stand next to him on the quarter deck. ¡°How many in total, P?¡± ¡°We have approximately twenty five new members; totaling to a maximum of eighty members in total.¡± Po states as he checks off a box on the list with a piece of charcoal reading ¡®Don¡¯t let Leon death hug newest crew members.¡¯ ¡°Hmm, still too low, but it¡¯ll have to do.¡± Takeshi walks up to the railing and looks at his crew. The crew: with fifty five Demonoid members and twenty five mostly humans and a few Dwarves. ¡°Fresh meat, welcome aboard the Friendship: where only the most daring survive.¡± ¡°Quit show-boating.¡± Po shouts with closed eyes and crossed arms as he begins to lean back onto the railing. ¡°Fine,¡± Takeshi begins again with less enthusiasm than before. ¡°Ok, we¡¯re going to head south to a town called Turango. Master Splinter told me of a very good black smith we can get weapons from. And I heard the best bar of the United Seafaring Nations is there, so prepare to set sail.¡± ¡°Wait, that¡¯s it?¡± Willy says with disbelief as he approaches Takeshi with open arms of frustration. ¡°Well, yeah. You got a problem?¡± Takeshi begins with an indifferent look in his eyes as he adjusts his captain¡¯s hat to block the sun. ¡°Do we have a goal? Are we doing anything specific?¡± ¡°Of course we are my belligerent newbie.¡± Po begins with an arm wrapped around Willy¡¯s shoulders. The look in Willy¡¯s silver eyes shows discontent as he tries to pull away from Po. ¡°We¡¯re trying to prevent the island from being, ahem... ¡®burned to the fuckin¡¯ ground.¡¯¡± ¡°What?¡± Whispers and murmurs begin as Willy and all the newest members of the Friendship question the circumstance at hand. Takeshi raises a hand to silence the whispers before beginning again. ¡°Yes, it is true. There is a lurking hydra on this island Pugh bent on scorching the entire island with it¡¯s...hotdog breath.¡± The earth begins to quake as the townsfolk begin to scream and become delirious, falling over and trying to balance from the seismic shift. The river begins to form tidal waves that rock the boat back in forth with a heavy gale beginning to rush in. Takeshi, Po, and R begin to shout as they clasp their hands together in a prayer like fashion. ¡°Please, Pugh-Pugh, we mean you no harm. Please forgive us.¡± The quakes subside and everything goes back to a calm and peaceful day as the townsfolk on the docks scratch their heads in confusion; along with the newest crew members and Willy. ¡°Uh, what was that?¡± Willy says in an even more delirious voice, but is ignored as Takeshi goes back to speaking to the crew. ¡°Not everything is as it seems. You¡¯ll learn that while adventuring with us. True, you may hear the stories about how two thirds of our crew was wiped out in a three months journey, but don¡¯t fret. Cause the more knowledgeable you are, the stronger you become in this fucked up world of ours. And so¡­¡± Takeshi pauses and looks over at Po, whom continues the conversation with the crew. ¡°*Sigh*, if you want to leave you can, but that¡¯ll only stop you from learning the truths of this world.¡± Po begins to fall asleep as he leans on the rail, while the crew members stand tall and await the next command. ¡°Wow, no one left.¡± Willy says with astonishment, he begins again as he confronts Takeshi. ¡°I get it now.¡± Willy then gets distracted by watching, repulsed, as Leon sticks a large beefy finger in his nose, as it seemingly disappears inside it. ¡°Ugh, is he always like this?¡± Willy shouts in disgust to R, whom was standing beside him. Little R quickly slaps a dirty hand over his mouth as he looks up at Leon with a worried face. Leon, unimpeded by what Willy has said, continues to search for nose Goblins, vigorously picking away and laughing. Little R loosens his posture and sighs loudly while taking his hand off Willy¡¯s face. ¡°You got to be careful what you say around him, if you say the wrong word, you¡¯ll end up like some of the past crew members.¡± R states with a serious face, while Willy begins to take a few steps away from Leon. ¡°I¡¯ll take your word for it.¡± Willy finally whispers after a brief moment. Another long pause rolls through as Willy sparks up another question of interest. ¡°So where exactly are we going again?¡± Five days later¡­ ¡°Ah, here we are; the town of Turango looks pretty busy this time of day.¡± Po says as he stretches his arms and watches as the crew members throw down the draw bridge. ¡°Ok, everyone, meet back here in three days.¡± Takeshi shouts. The crew members acknowledge and leave the ship to adventure around the town on their own. R slowly walks up behind Po, Takeshi, and Leon as he begins to speak while sighing. ¡°I can¡¯t believe we came back to this rat hole.¡± ¡°You and me, both, R.¡± Po says as he scratches his shoulder length, brown beard on his face. A hardy slap by Takeshi sends Po tumbling into the river below, but promptly catches himself by a set of vines branching out of his robes. ¡°You, son of a bitch.¡± Po looks up at Takeshi with tepid annoyance, but is quickly subsided by a thumbs up from Takeshi and R. ¡°Come, on. Let¡¯s go find that blacksmith. You coming Leon?¡± Takeshi, Po and R look behind them as Leon¡¯s eyes roll back and he yawns loudly. ¡°Leon sleepy. Leon take nap.¡± A loud thud is heard as the ship slightly rocks back and forth from Leon falling down onto his back and quickly falling asleep on the main deck of the ship. The others reacquaint their balance, and promptly head off into the town of Turango. The familiar sights for Po and R rush back to them like the smell of a slum and a bad fart; but to Takeshi, all is new. The wind whistles through to wooden gates separating stone houses, and points of interest. While walking through a particularly bizarre expansion of dirt road, Takeshi spots a rather provocative sign that catches his attention; along with the unwanted attention of R and Po. ¡°Ooh, look. That place is called the Blue Pancake¡­and it¡¯s a brothel. Let¡¯s-¡± Takeshi is stopped in his tracks while Po and R hold on to his arms. They both casually, but sternly, shake their heads in disagreement. ¡°Trust us,¡± R begins. ¡°You do not want to go in there.¡± Takeshi shoots a perplexed look with his eyes at both of them before continuing the conversation with a limp finger pointing at a bar across the dirt road from the Blue Pancake. ¡°What about that place?¡± Po and R look over to a bar, aptly named ¡®The Big Floor: where shit goes down in town.¡¯ R and Po loosen their grip on Takeshi¡¯s arms as they begin again. ¡°*Sigh*¡­no.¡± R states as he begins to slightly hunch over and continue walking to the blacksmith down the road. ¡°Why not?¡± Takeshi says with an irritated manner of speaking. ¡°Do you really want to know?¡± Po gives pause as Takeshi ponders his question briefly. ¡°Um¡­I guess not. I¡¯ll roll with it, this time.¡± Takeshi begins to take a step before stopping abruptly to listen to R. ¡°At the Blue Pancake, Po and I pissed off a lot of eunuchs, and some girls with very large dicks¡­and a¡­dwarf, but that¡¯s beside the point; and we might of witnessed a Dwarf man stick a broad sword up his ass, and watched it fly out like a bird with bacon in its teeth.¡± A brief pause flows through the chilled wind as Takeshi strikes a raised and concerned brow at R, and Po. ¡°Ok,¡± Takeshi begins with a raised hand of disbelief as he presses it on his masked mouth. ¡°I¡¯m gonna pretend that I didn¡¯t hear that, and continue walking.¡± The three continue their short and uneventful journey to the blacksmith before finally reaching his shop; they stand at the large wooden door and look up at a sign reading, ¡®Blacksmith Jim: The best in the West.¡¯ ¡°Hmm, ¡®the whole West,¡¯ huh? We¡¯ll see about that.¡± Po says as he scratches his ever growing beard. They walk in nonchalantly as Po and Little R say with a shocked face, ¡°Oh, fuck, Not you again.¡± ¡°What, what are you talking about?¡± Takeshi says perplexed as he darts his eyes around an empty shop with nothing, but a single black cat gawking at them from a table. ¡°What the cat?¡± he points within inches of the cat¡¯s face, as it quickly bites his fingers and jumps down from the table. ¡°Ow, you piece of shit.¡± Takeshi exacerbates with a fuming voice. ¡°Now, now,¡± the cat begins to talk. *Sigh* Po and R shrug loudly as they both say in unison, ¡°Here it comes.¡± Within that instant the cat begins to speak with a triumphant voice and polymorphs into a stark-naked, dwarf man. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you boys again. I see you¡¯ve grown fond of my pets that I sold to you.¡± The dwarf man stands erect with his arms akimbo and his red hair drapes over various parts of his body like curtains. ¡°What the,¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± Takeshi is interrupted by an unusually angry Po *Meow* An audible meow fills the room as R¡¯s pockets shake. Both Takeshi and Po look at each other with astonishment and quickly darting their eyes back at R, whom begins to say, ¡°Why do you insist on working exposed?¡± ¡°Fuck you. That¡¯s why.¡± The dwarf says. Takeshi looks on with genuine disgust as he avoids making eye contact with the man¡¯s unkempt bush; while the others look on with an experienced face of abhorrence. ¡°Now, you boys came to my smithing shop for a reason. It¡¯s almost as if fate is on my side.¡± ¡°Do you really believe in such a thing?¡± Takeshi asks with a raised brow jutting out of his mask. ¡°We¡¯ll of course I do.¡± The dwarf turns around and begins to grab a large hammer resting on top of an anvil. ¡°These days, I¡¯ll take anything to make sense of this crazy world of ours.¡± The others don¡¯t say anything, but nod in frank approval. ¡°Now, just tell me what you boys need. I guarantee you¡¯ll have the best weapons; or you get your gold back.¡± A short pause flows through and then is quickly broken by Takeshi as he unlatches his katana, while sheathed, and hands it over to the naked dwarf. ¡°I want you to make this katana sharp enough to cut mithril.¡± Takeshi loosens his clutch on his katana as the dwarf looks at the battered and chipped katana blade. ¡°Hmm, my, my, you have some history with this blade. No doubt in my mind.¡± He sheaths the sword and rests it on the anvil. ¡°I got just the thing for this blade.¡± ¡°Good.¡± Takeshi says with a relieved look. Po rests a hand on Takeshi¡¯s shoulder as he unfolds his scythe. ¡°Woah,¡± the Dwarf says while taking a step back. ¡°A druid using a weapon, such as this? How¡­interesting.¡± The dwarf smiles with a sheepish grin, as he grips the scythe.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. ¡°Do what you must.¡± Po says rapidly and gives a thumbs up to the dwarf. ¡°What the Pugh does that mean.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a sign of good fortune.¡± R states while fixing his gaze off to the side to avoid eye contact. ¡°Ah, I see. I don¡¯t understand the things you kids do these days.¡± ¡°Kids?¡± Po says with displeasure. ¡°We¡¯re twenty-two. The only kid here is Little R.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a sixteen year old adult, mind you.¡± R states with an enunciated terse tone while vigorously shuffling his arms together under the long, black sleeves of his robe. ¡°Ha, ha, ha,¡± The dwarf shouts as his muscled body of mostly hair sways. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry, boys. I¡¯ll take care of your weapons. Come back in five days, and they¡¯ll be better than new.¡± ¡°Well, what do we do now?¡± Little R asks. ¡°I guess we can waste time by teaching Leon how to read.¡± Po states while scratching his short beard. ¡°That sounds like a challenge I¡¯m willing to take.¡± Takeshi says with enthusiasm as he walks out the door. Po and Little R soon follow. ¡°How long could it possibly-¡° ¡°Don¡¯t-¡± Po interrupts. Five more days later¡­ ¡°Say it!¡± Po shouts in frustration while griping a large piece of parchment with scribbled sentences on them. Leon looks on at the parchment with confusion. ¡°The¡­great big dog jump over foxy.¡± ¡°No, again.¡± Po says while holding back his anger as he takes it out by griping the parchment even harder. However, their pyrrhic conversation is interrupted by Takeshi slamming the door to the captain¡¯s quarters open. The rest of the crew ignore them as they continue to casually relax on the deck of the ship and converse with fellow crew members about their exploits in Turango. ¡°It¡¯s time.¡± Takeshi says. ¡°Good,¡± Po says as he hands Leon the parchment. ¡°Ok, Leon. Practice your sentences while im gone, ok?¡± ¡°Okey dokey, Pokey.¡± Leon says with a smile, ramming a beefy finger up his nose. Po sighs loudly from days of frustration coming to an end. *Sigh* ¡°Ok, let¡¯s go.¡± The two gallantly walk along the city streets as they head back to the Blacksmith Jim. They walk for a good ten minutes before realizing that someone was missing. ¡°Where¡¯s Little R?¡± Po asks. They both stop in the middle of Turango¡¯s market place, and contemplate. ¡°Who knows,¡± Takeshi begins with a shrug. ¡°And who cares?¡± ¡°What¡¯s with the hostility?¡± Po asks. ¡°We¡¯ll, he just gets on my nerves; he¡¯s always so distant; contemplating whether or not to kill us in our sleep, I imagine.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll that¡¯s just how he is. And what kid isn¡¯t arrogant at his age?¡± ¡°Hm, good point.¡± ¡°And it could be worse. We co-¡° ¡°Don¡¯t say it.¡± Takeshi quickly halts Po¡¯s reflection as he slaps his hand over his mouth. ¡°Mmmm mf mf hmmm.¡± Po¡¯s muffled voice shouts out of annoyance. Takeshi gently, but swiftly takes his hand off of his mouth as Po begins again. ¡°Bleh, why does your hand smell like hotdogs?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t ask me. I don¡¯t know.¡± Takeshi says with aggravation as he holds his arms apart. ¡°Why did you do that, anyway?¡± ¡°You know exactly why, Po; we are cursed.¡± ¡°What makes you say that?¡± ¡°Every time we say ¡®What could go wrong?¡¯ Something always goes wrong.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± Po retorts. ¡°It¡¯s usually something along the lines of telling Pugh-Pugh to go fuck himself.¡± The earth begins to quake, as the towns folk panic and scream in terror. Stalls all over the market place begin to snap and bend under the sheer force of the quaking ground. At that moment a rift appears in the ground, and a gigantic, yet familiar figure begins to seep out of the fissured ground. ¡°Hey, you fuckers,¡± The familiar voice of the three headed hydra rises out of the ground and begins to dig its claws into the dirt. ¡°Long time no see.¡± A snarl spews out of the hydra¡¯s middle head. ¡°Oh, good.¡± Takeshi glares with angered eyes at Po crossing his arms. Po cracks an apologetic smile and begins. ¡°Oops.¡± ¡°Yeah, oops.¡± Takeshi snarkily add while gripping the sides of his masked head in frustration. The distant screams of the townsfolk are quickly dissipated by the sounds of the hydra breathing, and sniffing the air around Takeshi and Po. ¡°No doubt, Mel. It¡¯s them.¡± The left head states as he grits its jagged, stained teeth in anticipation. ¡°Thanks, I can see that, Len.¡± The middle head says unenthusiastically. ¡°Heeeey,¡± Po begins with a shaky hand waving at the hydras. Takeshi leans in and begins to whisper into Po¡¯s ear while angrily gripping his shoulders. ¡°You deal with this, I¡¯ll get our weapons and gather the crew.¡± ¡°You think you can out run him?¡± ¡°That¡¯s where you come in.¡± Takeshi says as he begins to sprint off into the market place haphazardly. ¡°Wha-¡± The hydra heads stops and quickly begins to inhale deeply. Takeshi panics and begins to use the destroyed remnants of the market stalls for cover as he sprints away. A blast wave of fire roars out of the three hydra heads and coats the entire market place in an inferno. A small explosion is set off by the bombs stall and crumbles a nearby building. Takeshi is seen running even faster than before while shouting, ¡°Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.¡± The hydra takes a step before Po begins to shout. ¡°Wait.¡± The hydra stops in place and looks down at Po, whom begins to gently pat the large claws of the hydra. ¡°Can¡¯t we just talk it out?¡± ¡°Talk it out?¡± Mel, The middle hydra head, begins. ¡°That offering of wieners did not satisfy us in any way. Not even our dim-witted brother here.¡± Both Len and Mel look on at the right head as he begins picking his nose with their shared tail. ¡°So what say you, this time, Po, the mother fuckest?¡± Po wipes away the bead of sweat near his eye and says with a muttered voice, ¡°Oh, shit.¡± Meanwhile, Takeshi darts his eyes around the recently abandoned townscape of Turango while sprinting for his life in hopes of finding Little R. The empty town¡¯s once bustling environment is now masked by the sounds of Takeshi¡¯s heavy panting as he stops for a breather. ¡°Great,¡± Takeshi begins hunched over while grinding his teeth to distract himself from his distressed sides. ¡°Where the hell do I begin to find R?¡± *Meow* ¡°Huh?¡± Little R¡¯s cat comes, seemingly skipping, out of the woodworks of an already rioted and looted shop a few feet away. Takeshi perks up, as he realizes the owner of the small tabby cat. ¡°Oh, good. It¡¯s Rocco.¡± Takeshi quickly runs over to the small tabby cat and begins to hover over it in an attempt to communicate. ¡°Hey, little fella. Do you know where your owner is?¡± ¡°Meow!¡± ¡°Owner?¡± ¡°Meow!¡± The cat quickly begins to nonchalantly sprint off down the empty street before Takeshi can react. ¡°He-Hey, wait you fucking cat.¡± Takeshi begins to quickly catch up with the cat and follows it to an unusual back alley off shoot of the road he was once on. ¡°Ok, where is he, you fuck?¡± Takeshi angrily raises a brow as he scratches his masked cheek and pants from exhaustion. ¡°Meow!¡± The cat begins to promptly walk over to a rickety looking shed and commences to make unusual noises; with Takeshi soon following behind the cat. ¡°So, he¡¯s ba-oh¡± Takeshi quickly changes into a frustrated mood as he watches R¡¯s cat begin to vigorously mate with a stray, street cat behind the shed. The incessant humping quickly grows more violent as the growling grows louder. *Merow**Meow* Takeshi sighs loudly while gazing up into the still clear and bright blue sky. ¡°I trusted a cat to help me, and he leads me to this shit. I think I¡¯m going crazy.¡± Within that instant, the distant sound of an exacerbated man begins to cry out in panic towards anyone that can hear them. ¡°Oh, son of a bitch. Takeshi, where the fuck are you?¡± a fiery billow of fire begins to immerse the nearby roadway with orange flames. The giant, earth-quaking steps of the three headed hydra are heard and seen quickly catching up to the sounds of the screaming man from the same street. The garbled noises of the hydra are heard, but, to Takeshi, sounds like hissing and gargled noises. ¡°Get back here you mother fuckest.¡± Takeshi watches the hydra pass by with neurotic curiosity while he begins to instinctively clutch the air where his sword would be. ¡°Shit,¡± Takeshi begins as he regretfully runs towards the screaming man. ¡°That¡¯s gotta be Po.¡± ¡°Takeshi?¡± Po says with panted and panicked breath with Takeshi beginning to run beside him; with the hydra following close behind them and catching everything on fire. ¡°Po, the blacksmith is down this street. We¡¯ll be there soon.¡± Takeshi shouts with panted breath as he runs alongside Po while dodging incoming flames from a pissed off hydra. ¡°Where¡¯s Little-¡° ¡°Fuck R.¡± Takeshi interrupts Po as they both pant in unison. ¡°I found his cat, for what it¡¯s worth.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not helpful at all.¡± Po says while continuing an unabated, full on sprint. ¡°I know, but he¡¯s at least gotta be close by.¡± The flames grow hotter, scrapping their backs while dancing in the ashes of the now collapsed buildings behind them. The stomps and roars of the hydra grow louder, and more ear piercing with every passing second it out paces the two. ¡°Let¡¯s turn here; this alley, hurry¡± Po clutches Takeshi¡¯s shoulder as they both quickly run into a side street with a dead end. ¡°Po, this is a dead en-fuuuck!¡± Before Takeshi could finish, Po drags him down into an open sewer hole while still holding tight to his shoulder. They both crash directly into a small flowing river of literal shit and piss. And as they take a small breather, they both pop their heads up from the brown hued current. ¡°Eck,¡± Po says as he spits out a brown stream of liquid. ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna throw up.¡± ¡°I could say the same.¡± Takeshi says as Po turns around to witness a very wet and angry Takeshi glaring at him before quickly darting his eyes back up at the sewer opening they both fell through. The large eye of the hydra appears to cover the manhole as it snarls. ¡°I see you.¡± The hydra takes a long breath while leaning back up. ¡°Po, into the water.¡± ¡°But,¡± Po says with an agonized look in his silver and gold eyes. The liquid shit runs down between them while he ponders in abhorrence at the sight of going back under. ¡°Do I have to?¡± ¡°If you wanna live, yeah.¡± Takeshi says with an inhale and begins to hold his nose and close his eyes shut as he plunges back into the stinky depths of the sewer. Po quickly looks back up at the hydra, whom is beginning to plunge its head back into the sewer. ¡°Well, shit.¡± Quickly, Po musters up the strength and the air capacity to dive back into the muddy waters just before the hot flames of the hydra begin to coat the inside of the sewer with fire. The flames whip and crackle with the gases of the sewage before it is quickly dissipated with an explosive force. Not a sound is heard as the hydra waits in anticipation for the two to pop back up. But they never do. ¡°Well, now what Mel?¡± the left hydra head says to the middle head. ¡°I guess we can destroy the town.¡± ¡°Yay.¡± The right hydra head shouts with excitement as the others lament over their more deplorable head. ¡°Fine, let¡¯s do it anyways.¡± The middle head says as he rolls his eyes and the hydra begins to move away from the singed sewer with smoke still wisping off of the edges and through the manhole. The large quakes from the foot falls of the hydra begin to dissipate, and all is silent once again around the burnt and smoldering back alley. The timber of the surrounding buildings begin to crackle into ash at a quickening pace before crumbling apart. A long silence dances with the wind and the smoke of the area before the sounds of loud gasping and splashes comes out of the sewer. *Gasp* ¡°Oh man, I think I swallowed a log.¡± Po says as he coughs uncontrollabl before projectile vommiting into the water. ¡°Bleh, this smells worse than Goblin piss.¡± Takeshi vehemently shouts as he quickly climbs up to the dry, walkways of the sewer off to the sides. Takeshi outstretches an arm for Po as he helps him up onto the singed, yet dry, walkways as well. ¡°Ok,¡± Po begins hesitantly as he remains on all fours gagging for fresh air. The drips falling off his wet, brown robe echo through the lengthy passageways of the sewer as they both stare into the distant, dark oblivion on both sides. ¡°Now, all we have to do is find-¡° ¡°What the-¡± Takeshi randomly interrupts as he and Po look off at Little R, seemingly, trying to hide a few feet away from them in the sewer passageways. They stare awkwardly at each other before a brief, yet gentle, breeze blows down into the musty sewer. ¡°Um,¡± Little R waves with a limp hand while hugging the sloped walls. ¡°Hey, guys.¡± ¡°What are you doing in the sewer?¡± Po asks with a compelled look on his face as he scratches his wet beard. ¡°The same reason you are.¡± R points towards the opening of the sewer as it remains smoldering. ¡°Oh, I almost forgot.¡± R quickly reaches deeply into his robe sleeves and slowly pulls out a sheathed katana and a collapsed scythe. ¡°Here, I retrieved them before the hydra reappeared.¡± R hands the two their weapons back; they seem to be heavier than what they are accustomed to. Po unfolds his scythe and caresses his hand along the edge of the blade. ¡°That¡¯s some find metal work.¡± Po says with a sly grin popping out from his brown beard. ¡°No doubt it¡¯s mithril. What about yours Takeshi?¡± Takeshi eagerly hesitates as he begins to unsheathe his katana. A bright light begins to form around the blade as he unsheathes it, lighting up the dingy, dark sewers and revealing the inner workings of the tunnels a few feet ahead of them. ¡°Woah,¡± Takeshi exclaims, gazing at his glowing sword and clutches it at arm¡¯s length. ¡°Jim told me that he enchanted both of your armaments to have vorpal magic and to be able to withstand a lot of maltreatment.¡± R says as he walks closer with his hands hidden away within his black robe sleeves. ¡°Wow, that¡¯s incredible.¡± Po says as he prudently folds up his scythe and stores it away within his robe. ¡°What¡¯s vorpal?¡± Takeshi asks as he racks his brain for answers and wipes the sewer water from his brow. He lowers his katana as the bright light continues to dance around it. ¡°It can decapitate any beast or humanoid. Or, at least that¡¯s what Jim said.¡± R states as he looks off into the distant sewer, watching a dead plague rat float down the stream. ¡°Wait,¡± Takeshi begins. ¡°How did you fit these up your sleeve?¡± ¡°Never mind that, we have more important matters; as Jim had thoughtfully informed me.¡± R reaches out and gestures a stopping motion with a hand while looking over his shoulder as he faces his back to the two. ¡°We need to find The Dragonslayer.¡± ¡°Uh, ok. Who is that?¡± Po asks. ¡°Before I left Jim¡¯s workshop, I inquired him about any celebrated dragon slayer that might help us with our predicament. He said that there is a great dragon slayer near Hanakiki, but we would have to ask the mayor of the town of his alleged location; as the two are both close friends that fought in the Demon Wars.¡± ¡°R, everyone in the West fought in the Demon Wars; that¡¯s just common knowledge.¡± Takeshi says in a terse tone. ¡°Well,¡± R begins with slightly annoyed hesitation. ¡°I¡¯m not from here.¡± ¡°Then where are you from?¡± Po asks as he places his arms akimbo. However, before Little R could answer, the distant call of an animal is heard further down the sewer. *Meow* ¡°Hello?¡± Takeshi calls out in an faint whisper. The echoes of two familiar calls are heard as they begin to quickly run into the light of Takeshi¡¯s sword. From the shadows appear a small tabby cat and a black cat. ¡°Oh, good,¡± R begins. ¡°It¡¯s Rocco and Jim. Come here boy.¡± *Meow* The small tabby happily runs back over to R and begins to disappear within his large sleeves. The tabby soon stops rustling as it settles in R¡¯s ample pocket. ¡°Hur-Ack.¡± Jim, while still in cat form, coughs up a hefty hairball. The others look on in disgust as they watch it roll into the sewage waterway, leaving nothing but a wet trail behind. ¡°Excuse me. Let¡¯s hurry; I know a way to get back to your ship.¡± ¡°From the sewers?¡± Takeshi asks with worrying eyes. ¡°Why, yes. What seems to be the problem there?¡± Jim asks as he casually flicks his tail around. ¡°Hey, Takeshi. Can you use your sword? I¡¯m low on casting strength right now.¡± R implores an already perturbed Takeshi, but he just sighs heavily. ¡°Let¡¯s just get this over with.¡± Takeshi says as he holds up his katana for light while everyone follows Jim down the sewer tunnels. A little while later¡­ ¡°Where the hell is the captain?¡± Sodomy Sammy chimes in while leaning over the edge and blocking the sun from his eyes gazing at the fiery destruction of the town of Turango. Bigger Bill shrugs with indifference as he takes a hardy gulp of chunky, sour milk; he begins to lean back even further on the rat lines while stabilizing his drink on his chest. ¡°Leon stomach hurt.¡± Leon drops an empty barrel as small splashes of chunky milk spill out of it and make an audible plop onto the wood of the deck. Leon grips his stomach and begins leaning over the starboard side of the Friendship. *Barf* ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Big Bill states leaning back on the main mast of the Friendship. He walks over to Sammy and lays a hand on his stiff shoulder. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. We¡¯ve come this far. Let¡¯s not doubt them, just yet.¡± Sammy¡¯s worried face dissipates and begins to scratch under his eyepatch. ¡°Hm, ok, Big Bill. But what happened out there? One minute were playing card games, and then the next, this colossal hydra appears out of thin air.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what happened,¡± Jim says nonchalantly while the whole crew stops what they¡¯re doing to question their reality, once again. ¡°Did that cat just talk, or is the sour milk hitting me too hard?¡± Bigger Bill states as he leans his tall lanky body over the edge to dump out the chunky, white drink in his hand. Willy, from the dark recesses of the ship, walks out into the sun and towards the black cat perched on the railing. Willy clutches his hands to his side, making an audible squeak come out of his leather gloves. ¡°Do you know where those fuckers are, um, talking cat?¡± Willy says without breaking eye contact with Jim¡¯s golden eyes. ¡°Why, yes I do. They should be round that burning building any second.¡± Jim turns his head towards a building engulfed in flames and protrudes out his whiskers in anticipation; the rest of the crew and Willy do the same. ¡°Hoist the sails!¡± A very distant Takeshi shouts with panicked screams alongside Po, and Little R, whom is far behind them. ¡°Uh,¡± Willy says with a raised voice of hesitation, but quickly recovers as the crew¡¯s attention is fixated on him. ¡°You heard him; get the damned ship ready.¡± The crew quickly scatters back in their designated areas and begin prepping the ship for an impromptu voyage out of town. ¡°Man the cannons, ahh!¡± A distant Little R shouts while flailing his robed arms around. The crew stops briefly with shock in their eyes as Takeshi and Po dive back onto the ship from the docks and begin to run towards the helm. They all watch as Little R runs full sprint with a wall of flames billowing out from behind him in close proximity. A giant, scaly arm appears from behind the burning building; and soon the three headed hydra snarls deafeningly as it stands up, towering over and smashing the building. The crew quickly becomes panicked as they rapidly prepare the ship and the cannons for the inbound hydra. ¡°Here it comes. Willy?¡± Takeshi states looking over at Willy with neurotic eyes as he witnesses Willy holding a lit fuse and positioning a cannon towards the hydra. His gaze sharpens as he makes one final adjustment and watches Little R stride closer and closer. The rest of the crew grips the edges of the starboard side watching another billowing fire burst out onto the desolate streets leading up to the docks. ¡°Fuck this, I¡¯m out.¡± Jim says with a raised tail and standing hair. Jim quickly runs into the captain¡¯s quarters before the flames could reach the Friendship. *Woosh* The fire blankets over Little R, whom is briefly seen casting a shield spell over his body. The flames pour over his spell and rapidly spill over to the Friendship. Po quickly reacts as he runs over to Willy and begins to hoist his hands up in the air. A large wall of water shields the ship from the incoming flames of the hydra. The collision of the flames and water create a giant cloud of steam as it hisses violently and the residual heat blasts through the water causing it to bubble and blow hot air at the crew. Po lets go of the water wall plummet back into the river and squints as he and the crew try to stare through the steam cloud slowly dissipating; they see nothing, yet they hear the ever growing, quaking foot falls of the hydra and Little R screaming in terror. ¡°Get out of the way.¡± Little R shouts as the steam cloud is forcefully pushed aside by an incoming Little R, whom falls short of his jump and attempts to grip the side of the ship. He slips, but Po catches him with a vine and clings to the port side railing. Willy and Po, along with the rest of the crew look with widened eyes as the steam cloud quickly disappears completely and a massive body of the hydra stops within a few feet of the Friendship. The hydra snarls and begins to take a deep breath in with the smell of its freshly blood soaked mouth emanating onto the ship for the crew to smell. Willy quickly reacts as he unsheathes his rapier, cutting the cannon¡¯s fuse short, and lighting it with one rapid motion. *Boom* *Roar* The hydra takes a direct hit to the stomach from a cannon ball blast and blows the flames up in the air. Takeshi reacts as he begins steering the ship away from the port with the sounds of panicked crew members firing a volley of cannonballs at the hydra, which all end up missing and instead plunging into the river. Po pulls Little R back up, and then they both run over to the helm. ¡°Ow,¡± The hydra shouts in his native tongue. ¡°That fucking hurts.¡± The three heads begin to gently rub the broken scales on their stomach as they watch their afternoon meal escape. ¡°Mark my words, Po: we¡¯ll meet again.¡± The hydra roars one last time before the Friendship quickly disappears behind the fjord leading to Hanakiki. ¡°So are we heading back, Takeshi?¡± Willy asks as he brushes the soot of the cannon blast of his coat and sheathes his rapier. ¡°Yes, We¡¯ve gotta find a way to kill this Hydra, before things get even further out of hand.¡± Takeshi continues to steer while looking straight ahead; with Willy looking at Takeshi with a raised brow in silence. ¡°It can¡¯t get any worse than this, could it?¡± ¡°Aw!¡± Takeshi, Po, Little R, and the rest of the crew shout with vexation over Willy¡¯s remark. ¡°What? Willy looks around nonplussed. ¡°Was it something I said?¡± Session 4.2:...And Back Again Five more days later¡­ ¡°No,¡± Po states presumptuously as he forces Willy back on the ship with one hand; deterring him away from joining their party. ¡°This is our problem, alone, and we don¡¯t want to drag anyone else into it.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Willy, looking rather defeated and confused, gazes at Little R and Takeshi preparing their gear for a long adventure away from the Friendship. ¡°Just standing around you three probably cursed us all if you want to make any assumption.¡± Willy begins to get riled up, but is quelled when Takeshi slowly walks up to the angrily shaking Willy and rests a gentle hand on his shoulder. ¡°Willy,¡± Takeshi begins with a soft yet stern voice. ¡°We don¡¯t want you to come with us because we need strong leaders on this ship at all times.¡± Takeshi pulls Willy in closer and forces his gaze over to Leon, whom is happily playing cards with Big Bill, Sodomy Sammy, Jim, Helga, and Bigger Bill; yet he is obviously losing. But nothing could stop that boyish smile from having a good time. ¡°You see, Willy?¡± Takeshi begins as they both look on at Leon and others play games. ¡°Leon cannot run this ship without you. You got to promise me you¡¯ll take care of this ship if we don¡¯t return from our battle.¡± Willy scratches his black hair as he begins to groan abhorrently. ¡°Hmm, fine. But promise me you¡¯ll at least come back.¡± ¡°You know I can¡¯t promise anything.¡± ¡°I guess that much can be said.¡± Willy looks down with a somber tone, but it quickly dissipates as he looks directly into Takeshi, Po, and R¡¯s eyes to state, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, guys. I¡¯ll take care of everyone on the ship while you¡¯re away.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the spirit.¡± Takeshi gives a hardy thumbs up to Willy, in which Willy, Po, and R do the same. ¡°Take cares Willy.¡± Po states as he walks away casually and waves goodbye. ¡°Willy¡­um¡­¡± R says nothing more, but instead smiles in a coy manner and then turns around to quickly catch up with Po. ¡°Attention ship officers and crew.¡± Takeshi squelches his voice to ring loud and clear. The crew perks up and quickly shuffles over towards the pot side of the ship to see off the three. ¡°As this might be the last time I see all of you, I name Willy the new captain in case of unfortunate events occur.¡± ¡°What are you saying captain?¡± Big Bill says with concern. ¡°Don¡¯t worry Big Bill; it¡¯s just a precautionary measure.¡± Takeshi gestures a wave as he closes his eyes, before turning to face a weeping Leon. Takeshi smiles and crosses his arms. ¡°Leon, I¡¯ll see you soon. Don¡¯t you worry Beef.¡± ¡°Leon sad.¡± Leon grabs Takeshi by the shoulder and brings him in for the usual death hug. Takeshi grunts in discomfort. ¡°Hm, ok, big guy. That¡¯s enough.¡± Takeshi says with bated breath as Leon sets him down to take a moment to look at everyone in the crew. ¡°Take care, you crazy bastard.¡± Jim adds in as he sits on the port side rails while licking his palms and flicking his tail. ¡°You too, Jim; and thanks for the weapons.¡± ¡°No need to thank me. I think the exchange of me joining your crazy crew for those weapons was worthy enough, in my humble opinion.¡± Takeshi stares gleefully at Jim before he quickly goes into a sprint to catch up with Little R and Po as they head over to the mayor¡¯s capital building towards the center of the town of Hanakiki. The town is not its usual bustling and lively place as it once was before. Now there are whispers of an approaching hydra heading towards the city beings spread by travelers and travelling businesses. Hushed tones and the clomping of shoes on the stone and dirt roadways are so silent that even the gentle breeze seems to muffle their sounds. The sunny day seems to do little for the townsfolk as they shuffle down the streets with panicked faces of dread and despair. ¡°Po,¡± Takeshi begins with a tap on Po¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Does this town seem¡­different?¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s less noisy. I kind of like it.¡± ¡°Eh, it¡¯s ok. Wait, where did Little R go off to?¡± ¡°Who knows¡­Wait,¡± Po slaps an extended arm onto Takeshi¡¯s chest to halt his forward progress. ¡°What?¡± Takeshi asks as he begins to look at what Po is staring at. ¡°Oh.¡± Takeshi¡¯s expression changes to indifference as they both stare at a very large and decorated marble building with two large gargoyles standing on the two giant entrance columns leading up to a set of two bronze doors. An embossed sign above the doors reads, in fanciful lettering, ¡®Hanakiki Town Hall.¡¯ The two, without further hesitation, quickly walk up the marble staircase and open the two giant bronze doors. Tapestries decorate the sides of the foyer as they hang along sets of columns leading up to a large brass table with a humanoid staring back at them. As they approach the desk, they notice the woman glaring nonplussed at the two. She rests an elbow on the table and puts her hand under her chin before beginning the conversation. Her pale skin and pointed ears jutting out of her long black hair seems to point out that she is a Dark-Elf from the Rukshana swamplands. ¡°May I help you two?¡± ¡°Um, we were wondering if the mayor of this town could speak with us.¡± Po says as Takeshi stares back at two large men holding halberds on either side of the large foyer. An isolated cloud drifts in front of the sun, blocking the light being shone in from the glass roof above them. The woman smiles plainly as she rest her other hand under her chin and sits up straight. Her golden eyes seem to light up as she begins again. ¡°You are speaking to her.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Po says with little surprise in his voice. ¡°Well, we are two wanderers looking for a dragon slayer to aid us in our quest to kill the hydra approaching your fair town.¡± ¡°Ah, yes.¡± The woman begins to brush her long black hair with her hand as she cracks a coy look. ¡°Good ol¡¯ Philip the Dragonslayer. Yes he¡¯s around; kind of pushing it in age, but he¡¯s around. You two have quite the quest on your hands, though.¡± ¡°Where can we find this man?¡± Takeshi says as he puts his arms akimbo to his body. The woman pauses briefly as she stares coldly at Takeshi and rests her palms on the large brass desk. ¡°You¡¯ll find him training in a cave, aptly called the Dragon¡¯s Den; one of the largest caverns in the West. He is right next to the waterfall, so you shouldn¡¯t have too much trouble finding him.¡± ¡°So,¡± Takeshi begins as he leans on the desk and stares amorously at the mayor¡¯s uninterested golden eyes. The two large guards point their halberds at Takeshi, whom doesn¡¯t seemed phased by the two; somehow peaking the interest of the mayor as she looks at Takeshi and Po, whom also seems unfazed by the guards. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± Takeshi says with a raised brow. The woman pauses as she cracks that same coy smile and crosses her hands. ¡°I am Mayor Gwyndolin. You boys are the real deal if you¡¯re unfazed by my guards.¡± She waves he hand up in the air to signal her guards to stand aside. The two guards smash their halberds on the ground and stand attentively as they continue to watch Takeshi and Po like a hawk stalking its prey. ¡°You see the truth is: The staircase leading down to the cavern floor is a long journey, so you two might want to prepare for such.¡± ¡°Nevermind that,¡± Takeshi says as he leans in closer. ¡°Are you doing anything after we slay the dragon?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what I¡¯m not doing: seeing you anytime soon.¡± Takeshi, with shock in his eyes, seems to deflate as he slumps down on the ground and sighs. ¡°Heh, burn.¡± Po says with the usual bearded smile as he moves around his arms under his long brown robe sleeves. ¡°Oh, shut up, you fuck.¡± Takeshi says as he gets back on his feet and stands with arms crossed in dissatisfaction. ¡°You two better get rid of this hydra before it reaches my town. I would also like to know your names, for the record books.¡± ¡°I¡¯m Takeshi.¡± ¡°I¡¯m Po.¡± Mayor Gwyn looks at the two for a few seconds before beginning again. ¡°I want your word that you two will save my town from destruction at the hands of the hydra.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Gwyn. We¡¯ve got this.¡± Takeshi says with a snarky tone as he straightens up. Gwyn promptly stands up out of her brass chair and walks over to Takeshi. She begins to grab his chin and squeezes his cheeks softly. They both glare at each other with killing intent before Gwyn breaks the silence. ¡°Um,¡± Po says beforehand as he looks at the two troublingly. ¡°Don¡¯t let me down, Takeshi the ninja.¡± She smiles coyly again. ¡°Wait, you know what a ni-¡± *Slap* ¡°Ow.¡± Takeshi rubs his cheek after receiving a hardy slap from Gwyn. Takeshi looks on as she shuffles back over to her seat and sits back down. ¡°Now, go.¡± Gwyn says as she points to the bronze entrance doors. Takeshi and Po quickly leave and search for the so called Dragon¡¯s Den in hopes of stopping their nemesis: the hydra. A few hours later¡­ ¡°Uh, where are we, Po?¡± Takeshi asks as the two wander around the island forests of the Seafaring Nations. The dense forest seems to block out the afternoon sun as well as the ground below. *Crunch* The dried up, dead leaves crackle at their feet while they continue their unknown journey; Po holds a map up close to his face, as Takeshi kills time stepping on the leaves. *Crunch**Crunch* ¡°Would you stop that nonsense?¡± Po angrily states without taking his gaze off of the map. ¡°What, I¡¯m just trying to pass the time.¡± Takeshi says as he gently slaps Po¡¯s shoulder in a playful manner. ¡°Look, I¡¯m serious.¡± Po stops and begins to lecture Takeshi as he shakes a fist at him. ¡°We¡¯re going to eventually run into a dragon slayer, so what are the odds of him setting traps to his known location?¡± ¡°Very, very likely.¡± Takeshi says in halfhearted agreement while staring at the ground intently. ¡°Ok, good, you understand.¡± Po begins to continue walking as he begins again. ¡°Now keep an eye out for any-ahhh.¡± Po, without further hesitation, falls to the ground and is then hoisted up into the air by a rope bound to his feet. He begins to drift slowly side to side a few feet off the ground as Takeshi crouches down to meet him at eye level. ¡°I found a trap, P.¡± Takeshi snickers as he pulls out a throwing knife and stands back up. ¡°Hahaha, how about a little less sarcasm and just cut me dow-¡± *Thud* ¡°Ow.¡± Po quickly rolls over and begins to rub the nape of his neck. He stands up quickly as Takeshi doesn¡¯t say a word, but crosses his arms as he stares at Po¡¯s beard. Po begins picking out the leaves from his beard, before Takeshi begins again. ¡°You know what that means, right, Po?¡± Po¡¯s exasperated sigh belts out as he begins to shake his head in reluctant agreement. ¡°Yeah, it means he¡¯s close by. Let¡¯s just continue walking where the map marker is. It should be only a Ching-Ching or two away now. ¡°So, five thousand feet? I forget the conversion.¡± ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right. But we really need to stop buying maps in Demon languages.¡± ¡°Hey, that¡¯s all they had at the shop. Every other language was sold out because everyone is trying to flee the town.¡± ¡°I know, I know. To be fair, the Demon maps are oddly more detailed. I mean look at this: who else, other than Demons, would want to know that there is a place to sharpen your horns in the middle of the woods?¡± ¡°Po, you see that?¡± Takeshi stops in place and points to a very obvious cave entrance about fifty feet tall jutting out of a giant cliff face. ¡°Whoa,¡± Po says astonished by the sheer size of the entrance. ¡°That¡¯s a big ass entrance.¡± ¡°You could say that again.¡± Takeshi states as he slowly approaches the entrance. Po soon follows alongside him. They both approach the intimidating cavern entrance and gaze into the darkness within. The first few steps of the large wooden staircase are seen at the base, but disappear within a few feet in the cave. The two stare blankly into the unknown until Takeshi asks a peculiar question. ¡°So, how far do these stairs go down?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know. Oh wait,¡± Po hatches an idea as he begins to prepare a quick spell while forming a ball with his hands. ¡°I¡¯ll send a ball of light straight down, and we¡¯ll see how far it goes.¡± ¡°Ooh, that¡¯s a good idea. Do it.¡± Takeshi eagerly waits for Po to finish conjuring the ball of light. Within a few seconds a blinding glow shoots out between the crevices of Po¡¯s fingers and holds it in place as it grows brighter. After a few seconds, Po pushes his arms towards the cavern opening and they both watch as a bright white ball of light begins to slowly make its descent down the staircase. A few seconds pass, and the ball of light seems to be unimpeded by anything as it continues its journey. After a few minutes, the ball¡¯s light begins to become faded into obscurity by the shadows of the deep cavern until it becomes engulfed completely. ¡°So,¡± Takeshi begins as they both continue to scratch their heads and question. ¡°I guess it¡¯s gonna be a long journey.¡± ¡°I guess so.¡± Po says as he begins to take a hesitant step forward; with Takeshi soon following beside him as they head into the dark abyss of the cave. Takeshi pulls his sword out as the light begins to reveal the stairs before them, but only for a few tens of feet, as it is swallowed by the darkness any further than that. They begin their descent as they become dazed by the sheer distance the cavern covers as they hear the very distant sound of a waterfall. ¡°You hear that?¡± Takeshi whispers to Po, whom begins to nod in agreement. ¡°Yeah, I think it¡¯s a waterfall.¡± ¡°No, not that. That, down there.¡± Takeshi points his glowing katana at a few very strange, naked goblins as they moan in discomfort at the light of his sword. ¡°Oo~stop¡± One of the goblins begins to squelch his voice in the Uncommon language while attempting to focus his eyes at the two standing ten steps above them. Their pale skin seems to almost reflect the light shining upon them. ¡°Uh,¡± Takeshi begins as they both continue to walk down the stairs. The slithering sounds of their unused voices seem to whisper loudly out to the two. ¡°Kill¡­me.¡± One whispers before they gain enough distance between them. ¡°Woo, we¡¯re in for a rough descent.¡± Po begins as he slaps a hand on his shoulder while being attentive to his foot placement. ¡°We have to press on, Po. Cause, no one else will. I mean look at this shit.¡± Takeshi points down at the stairs which descend and disappear into the darkness below. ¡°Yeah, but how long could the Dragon¡¯s Den staircase be?¡± Po inquires. Six hours later¡­ ¡°Ahh~!¡± Takeshi begins to freak out as he holds both hands up to his ears without dropping his katana, which continues to glow unabated. ¡°What?¡± Po asks with a startled stance and gaze. Takeshi stops and begins to sit down on one set of the stairs. He gently puts down his katana and begins to rub his head and cover his face while exhaling loudly. ¡°I just had to get that out.¡± Takeshi states after a brief moment of bated breath. ¡°You¡¯re not enjoying this are you?¡± Po begins to ask as he sits next to Takeshi and rests a hand on his shoulder. ¡°Mmm, no.¡± Takeshi looks up at the stalactite covered ceiling and then stares down into the abyss of the ceaseless cavern. The faint sound of the distant waterfall gently sooths as it drones on. ¡°I know I¡¯m not the most patient man, but¡­good fuck. This is a long set of stairs.¡± ¡°I know how you feel, T.¡± It¡¯s starting to get to me too.¡± Po finishes as he wipes the sweat of his brow and straightens his rustled beard as he begins to sit down beside Takeshi. ¡°But it¡¯s like you said before: We gotta press on, ¡®cause no one else will.¡± Takeshi looks up at Po, with his glowing katana gently glowing at his feet, as he too wipes the sweat off his brow. He takes a moment to stare at the ground before jolting back up with a balled up fist of determination. ¡°You¡¯re right, we gotta press on. We have to save the island from what we¡¯ve created.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Po pumps a closed fist up in the air and stands back up in celebration of Takeshi¡¯s words. ¡°We gotta finish what we¡¯ve started.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°We gotta show the world how big our balls are.¡± ¡°Yea-no.¡± Po lowers his fist with a grin of misperception. ¡°We gotta shove our dicks in their faces.¡± ¡°Uh,¡± ¡°We gotta show Pugh-Pugh where to shove it.¡± ¡°Uh oh.¡± Po begins as they both begin to feel a distant quake quickly approaching them. The stair case begins to shift violently and forces Po to slip off the edge. Takeshi quickly grabs Po by his chest length, brown beard and pulls him back onto the staircase. The violent quaking begins to subside while Po begins the conversation again. ¡°What the fuck, T?¡± ¡°What?¡± Takeshi shouts perplexed as they stand back up. ¡°You know exactly what: why did you pull my beard?¡± ¡°Oh, that. I thought you were gonna ask about the qua-¡° Before Takeshi could finish his sentence, a large stalactite breaks off, making a loud snapping noise, and plummets into the vulnerable wooden stairs a few sets above the two. The stalactite pierces through the old wood and causes a large chunk of the staircase to begin a slow yet very precipitous descent into the darkness below them. They both watch as their only way out is sealed off by the stair case falling apart. Po looks at Takeshi with consternation. ¡°What?¡± Takeshi begins as they both continue their descent down into the darkness. Takeshi holds up his sword away from Po to view the steps below. ¡°I¡¯d say that¡¯s the most generous these rifts have been to use so far.¡± Po raises a hand to retort with furious anger, but loses the words as he realizes the truth behind the words. ¡°You know what; I¡¯ll let it go this time. Cause we¡¯ve got more important matters at hand.¡± ¡°I agree, Po. Putting the lives of the town¡¯s people before a small inconvenience is a very good way to look at it.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll,¡± Po grabs a hold of Takeshi¡¯s shoulder as he continues to stare into the darkness, forcing Takeshi to look in his general direction as well. ¡°I was actually talking about that.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Takeshi says with and estranged look in his eyes as he holds his katana closer to the insurmountable amount of Goblins blocking the descent downwards. ¡°I guess it still could be worse.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Po pauses as they begins to step and squish their way through a large pile of grossly shiny, naked Goblins moaning in pain. ¡°But how much longer does this staircase go?¡± Four hours later¡­ ¡°We¡¯ve made it, finally.¡± Po shouts as they stare at the solid rock ground of the very bottom of the stairs. The heat begins to overtake them as they sit down on the steps for a breather. ¡°That was ridiculous.¡± Takeshi exclaims as he rests his katana on the step below him. ¡°Yeah, tell me about it. I hope we don¡¯t have to do that again.¡± Po says with the same unenthusiastic attitude. *Grumble**Grumble* The two look at each other with slight grins as their stomachs begin to grumble in distress. ¡°We¡¯ll, we both knew this would happen. What do we do about food?¡± Po inquires as they both begin to check their bags and bandolier pockets for any scraps. As their pockets turn up empty, Takeshi strikes an interesting proposition. ¡°Why don¡¯t we eat those Goblins a few hours up the stairs?¡± ¡°Uh, I guess,¡± Po begins uneasily. ¡°But wouldn¡¯t that taste disgusting?¡± ¡°It¡¯s better than starving to death.¡± ¡°Well, why don¡¯t we see what¡¯s at the bottom?¡± ¡°Ok.¡± Takeshi grabs his glowing katana as they both stand back up and finish their penultimate steps down the stairs. Until they run into a strange problem as the ground begins to move and turn. ¡°What the-¡± Takeshi exclaims as he holds his katana with both hands while approaching the moving figure. The moving figure turns into a mass of moving black snakes slithering around the bottom of the stairs. The hissing and spitting gets louder as they get within striking distance of the snakes. *Hiss* Po and Takeshi both flinch at a snake snapping at their feet. They both take a few steps back before beginning a conversation again. ¡°So,¡± Takeshi begins. ¡°Do those Goblins sound pretty good to you right now? I know you don¡¯t like snakes, so don¡¯t play coy with me.¡± ¡°Ok, ok.¡± Po says as he holds his hands up in retort. ¡°Let¡¯s go get some Goblin.¡± ¡°Good,¡± Takeshi states as they both begin to walk back up the stairs again. ¡°It¡¯ll only take a few hours, so it¡¯ll be worth it.¡± Eight hours later¡­ ¡°How do you like you Goblin cooked?¡± Takeshi asks as he holds two large chunks of silvery meat in both hands. They continues their descent back down to the snakes. ¡°Cooked.¡± ¡°Sounds good.¡± Takeshi begins as his hands burst into flames, the flames finely cook the strange and almost gelatinous meat, until the flames grow an enormous size. ¡°Shit.¡± Takeshi says as he attempts to dissipate the flames. The fire rapidly builds up into two raging ten foot pillars of fire, before slowly drifting down and receding back into his palms. With the fire gone, all that Takeshi is left with are two handfuls of ash. ¡°Great job.¡± Po says with a sarcastic tone with his arms crossed. His mood quickly changes as he watches Takeshi throw the ashes over the edge of the large staircase. ¡°Oh, why don¡¯t you burn them?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Takeshi quickly sprints down the stairs, almost tripping as he attempts to skip over a few to descend faster. He stops just a few feet above the swirling mass of black snakes as they began to hiss and drown out the distant waterfall splashes. He begins to prepare a blast of fire as he cups his hand. But after a minute of trying, he gets nothing but smoke. ¡°Shit, look like I¡¯m still not skilled enough yet.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡± Po ponders as he begins to vigorously stroke his beard for the answers. Takeshi dodges an incoming snake and takes a few steps back; but he notices something strange about the snakes. ¡°Hey, Po.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Come down here.¡± Takeshi waves to Po without taking his eyes of the snakes. Po lifts up his robes and quickly walks down the steps to stand next to Takeshi, whom is still fixated on the snakes. ¡°You see something?¡± Po asks intrigued by Takeshi¡¯s persistent stare. ¡°Yes,¡± he points slowly at the pile of snakes. ¡°What do you see when I shine my sword at them?¡± ¡°Black snakes, why?¡± ¡°Look closer.¡± Po scratches his head as he squints for a second look. ¡°They, kind of look like dicks.¡± ¡°No, smart ass; they are made of rubber.¡± They both stand in silence as Takeshi waits for an answer. ¡°How do you know?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll grab one and show you.¡± Takeshi quickly descends a few steps down and begins to crouch while holding up his sword with one hand. *Hiss* The hissing grows louder as he begins to move his free hand forward. Then, suddenly, a snake darts at Takeshi, but he manages to grab it by the neck as it spits at him inches away from his masked face. ¡°Nice catch.¡± ¡°Not really, look.¡± Takeshi turns around to reveal that he caught nothing but a slender, burnt stick. He snaps the twig with one hand as he turns back around to look beyond the snakes. ¡°So, that means it¡¯s just an illusion.¡± ¡°Right you are, P.¡± Takeshi squints a little harder as he begins to shout, ¡°Ok Philip, you can stop with the games now. We can see through your trickery.¡± Takeshi¡¯s message echoes back and forth until dissipating completely; leaving nothing but the silence of a giant dark cavern, and the gentle splashes of the distant waterfall. The snakes begin to stop hissing and lay still on the cold, dark ground. After a moment, the snakes begin to disappear into the ground and a faded glow of a lamp light appears a couple hundred feet away. ¡°You boys are good. Not like most of those fools at the surface.¡± A cacophonous sound burst through the giant cavern as the light steadily approaches and glows brighter. Both Po and Takeshi stare at each other briefly before glancing back at the ever growing, glowing light. Po squints as he begins to speak loudly towards the unknown figure approaching. ¡°Are you Philip?¡± Po shouts. ¡°Nay, I am not he, but I do know where Philip is training.¡± ¡°Can you lead us to him? We are in dire need of his assistance.¡± Takeshi holds up his glowing katana as the figure begins to come into the blades light. A tall, yet strong man appears from the shadows as he strokes his short white beard. His clothes, tattered a worn, seem to be soaked from head to toe. ¡°I am Philip¡¯s brother, Bobby.¡± The man smiles with a glow of his own sprouting from his facial hair. He then intently stares down the two as he gauges them for further analysis. ¡°Hmm, a druid and a rogue; you don¡¯t see that kind of company every day.¡± This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.¡°I¡¯m a Ni-¡° ¡°So what seems to be going on at the surface that they had to send two adventurers to find my brother?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Po begins hesitantly. ¡°There is a giant hydra approaching Hanakiki, and it plans to destroy the town, along with everything else on the island.¡± ¡°Uh huh,¡± Bobby scratches his beard and contemplates. ¡°Not the strangest thing I¡¯ve heard. Sure I¡¯ll guide you to my brother.¡± ¡°Wait, not the strangest, then what is?¡± Takeshi asks as he lowers his sword and rubs the nape of his neck. ¡°Well, this one time at the Four Floors of Whores in Turango, this dwarf-¡° ¡°Don¡¯t say it.¡± Takeshi and Po both interrupt as they extend their hands out and gesture to stop. ¡°What?¡± Bobby asks while tightening his drawstring on his pants. Takeshi and Po both look at each other with indifference and say simultaneously, ¡°You don¡¯t wanna know.¡± ¡°Just take us to Philip; this hydra is coming any day now.¡± Po says in a terse and exhausted tone. ¡°Ok, ok. Follow me.¡± Bobby then waves the two to follow as he rises up his lit lantern and walk towards the waterfall. Takeshi and Po both walk behind Bobby and take a gander at the overwhelmingly large cavern that seems to never end. The tremendous size of the cavern becomes almost daunting to our intrepid heroes. Takeshi waves his glowing katana around to the ground and all around to witness, along with Po, the strange glassy black rock blanketing the ground in a veil of darkness. The giant stalagmites, towering over head, hug the walls as the rest seem to have been chopped down with a clean sweep of a giant¡¯s sword. The trickling of water from far above echo and become dissonant as they approach the edge of the largest waterfall Takeshi and Po had ever seen. ¡°Woah.¡± Po says astonished as a faint glow begins to pulsate from the waterfall, revealing its enormous size. A very large lake, about a mile in length, stands between them and the bottom of the waterfall while the waves crash into the smoothed and grooved igneous rocks. Takeshi says nothing, but instead marvels at the waterfall; noticing a faint blue light from within the waterfall as the crashing waves refracts the intense blue glow. ¡°Is that Philip?¡± Takeshi asks Bobby as he points with his sword. ¡°Why, yes it is.¡± Bobby says without hesitation as he begins to ferociously scratch his white beard. ¡°Philip.¡± Takeshi shouts, but the only answer he receives back is his distant echo and the overwhelming current of the waterfall drowning everything out. ¡°He can¡¯t hear you with that tone. You gotta do the call.¡± Bobby states as he turns to the two. ¡°The call?¡± Po says as he scratches his beard as well. Without any further hesitation, bobby turns to the waterfall and slowly forms a circle with his hand around his mouth as he makes a very cacophonous call. ¡°Whoop, Whoop!¡± The large echoes race back and forth as they bounce off the cavern walls and waterfall. They all stand in silence as they await a return call. ¡°Whoop, Whoop!¡± a large and boisterous sound calls out to them from within the waterfall. ¡°Ah, good. He¡¯s still there. We might have to wait awhile since he has to row across this lake.¡± ¡°How long, exactly?¡± Po asks with a perturbed look. One hour later¡­ ¡°You¡¯ll have to excuse me; I¡¯m not as spry as I once was.¡± Philips says with a slight panted breath as he begins to step of the small, dilapidated boat with a single paddle. He ties it off onto a large rock and turns to walk towards Takeshi and Po. The katana light reveals a rather old man with a very long white beard going down to his hips. In stature, he looks exactly the same as his brother, Bobby; a well-toned and muscled body draped by old and tattered clothes. Other than the wrinkles, the apparent sibling familiarity is quite surprising to Takeshi and Po. ¡°Wh-why, I mean, how are you two related?¡± Po asks with a flummoxed face. The two brothers look at each other with the same confused expression before answering his question. ¡°We¡¯ll we both have different mothers, so I¡¯m not part Elf, like Bobby is.¡± Philips says. ¡°Technically, I¡¯m One hundred and fifty three; and Philip is ninety two.¡± Bobby adds. Takeshi and Po both look at each other confused, but are quickly dissipated from all thought as their concentration goes to their growling stomachs. *Growl**Grumble* ¡°You boys hungry?¡± Philip asks as Takeshi and Po attempt to quell their empty stomachs with a gentle rubbing hand. ¡°My wife is making a pretty mean Goblin loaf back at home. Come on, why don¡¯t you join us and we can discuss whatever circumstance you came down here for.¡± ¡°Ok.¡± Takeshi and Po simultaneously say as they follow Bobby and Philip back to their humble abode. They began to walk alongside one another for a couple hundred feet before they are stopped by a strange noise coming from the apex of the stairs. ¡°Ahhhhhh!¡± The shout from an unknown person I heard as the four of them stop in place and listen to the noise until it becomes drowned out by the loud crashing waves of the waterfall. ¡°What the Pugh was that?¡± Po says out of reflex. ¡°Uh oh.¡± The earth begins to quake violently forcing stalactites to fall from what seems like miles above. Quickly reacting, Takeshi and Po attempt to quell the angered god by a small chant of forgiveness as they clasp their hands together above their heads. ¡°Oh, please Pugh-Pugh, please spare us. Oh, fuck. Please forgive us Pugh-Pugh.¡± The earth below begins to subdue the quakes as everything goes back to normal and the shaking stops. Bobby and Philip both scratch their heads with worrying looks as they maintain their balance and stare at Takeshi and Po, whom break their clasped hands and return to their normal walking strides as if nothing had happened. They both look behind as Bobby and Philip are still in their shocked expressions. ¡°What?¡± Takeshi says with an annoyed look in his eyes. ¡°We can explain that when we get to your house.¡± Po says as he continues walking; the others soon follow alongside and eventually reach Philip¡¯s house on the other side of the cavern, next to the stairs. The four sit down to dinner as the nonplussed wife of Philip¡¯s prepares and cooks a meal for them and sits down to eat along with them. Takeshi and Po began explaining their current situation; along with all other factors that lead up to their ability to start earthquakes just from mentioning Pugh-Pugh. ¡°Wow,¡± a surprised Philip says as both he and Bobby look on at Takeshi and Po. ¡°Yeah, you might not believe it, but it-¡° ¡°No, I believe you.¡± Philip says as he interrupts Po abruptly, and then takes a hardy sip of a flagon of ale. Po looks over at Takeshi, downing his drink, and then looks back over at Philip to inquire further. ¡°You¡­believe us?¡± Po says with a raised brow of skepticism. ¡°Yes, of course. I¡¯ll show you why.¡± Philip stand up, but is quickly caught on the shoulder by the hand of Bobby. ¡°Wait, brother. Do you really want to trust them?¡± bobby asks with a slightly panicked look as he fixes his gazed upon the two. Takeshi and Po both exchange estranged looks at each other before Philip¡¯s wife breaks the awkward silence. ¡°They basically know already, just show them.¡± She says with an indifferent look as she begins to lean back into the chair. ¡°Right.¡± Philip states with a sense of understanding as he gently takes Bobby¡¯s hand off his sleeve and walks into a room next to the kitchen. ¡°So, you boys like card games?¡± Philip¡¯s wife asks. Her deep purple eyes and graying hair seems to hide an unknown past as she stares at the two. ¡°Well we only know how to play Demon card games.¡± Po says as he places his fork on the table and stares embarrassingly at his empty plate. ¡°That¡¯s ok, that¡¯s basically the only card games we know as well.¡± She says with a hardy snort of laughter and a snarling smile which reveals a set of two sharp, pointed teeth. ¡°Wanna play?¡± Bobby questions as he gazes around at everyone¡¯s empty plates. ¡°Sure, I can roll with that.¡± Takeshi says with a gleeful glint in his eye as he stacks his empty plate on top of Po¡¯s. ¡°Um, what is your name?¡± He asks awkwardly scratching the nape of his neck. ¡°Just call me Wanda.¡± She waves a limp hand at Takeshi as she instinctively pulls out a deck of cards from her large cleavage. She begins handing out the cards in an orderly fashion as Takeshi inquires another question. ¡°Um, did you just pull this out of your cleavage?¡± ¡°Yeah, got a problem?¡± Wanda says with an insidious look. ¡°Oh, no, maam.¡± Takeshi says quickly while putting his hand up passively. ¡°Good, I mean, it¡¯s basically nature¡¯s pocket.¡± ¡°You raise an astute point, Wanda.¡± Po says with a raised finger as she continues her card sorting. The cards began to pile up in front of each of them. Bobby rubs his face with a free hand as he gauges his first move. ¡°So, what about Philip?¡± Po asks. ¡°Oh, he¡¯ll be back sometime later. He has to venture to his ¡®secret study.¡¯¡± Bobby says as he gesture quotations with his hands in a sarcastic manner. ¡°Oh, ok. So what are we playing? Belch, Warfare?¡± Takeshi asks. ¡°Stabber.¡± Wanda says with a quick tone without taking her eyes off her cards. ¡°Ok, last one who¡¯s pooped goes first.¡± ¡°That¡¯ll be me.¡± Four hours later¡­ ¡°Ok, boys, I hope you¡¯re ready to have your fleeting reality rocked.¡± Philip states with an indifferent tone to his voice as he throws a rather large, dilapidated, leather bound book onto the table; cards go flying all around the kitchen floor from the force. ¡°Damnit, Phil. We were playing Stabber.¡± Wanda shouts in disgust as she throws the remainder of her cards at the book. ¡°Sorry, sweetie, but you and I both know this is more important.¡± Philip says without changing his indifferent tone as he gazes at Wanda. Wanda frowns for a second and then sighs and nods her head in approval. ¡°Welp,¡± Wanda stands up quickly as she begins to talk while pushing in her chair and grabbing the dishes stacked in the corner of the table. ¡°You boys take care.¡± She gives a hardy thumbs up as she places the plates onto another table and walks into what appears to be a study. Takeshi and Po both look at each other with widened eyes and are quickly taken back by Philip, whom begins the conversation again. ¡°You boys have stumbled into the reality of our world.¡± ¡°Uh, what do you mean?¡± Po inquires. ¡°See for yourselves.¡± Philip opens the large book to an unusual page with strange annotations written in multiple dialects. Illustrations of strange winged humanoids with circular crowns as they fly around an even more peculiar mountain with a giant rift going down it are depicted with heavy detail. Philip points to a passage of faded letters and begins again. ¡°This right here perfectly explains what you boys are experiencing. It says, ¡®With the death of the ruler of Mount Celestia, the Celestial Plane collapsed as the insidious Kenji Kusuragi took it over and destroyed the very fabric at which used to connect all planes of existence. With the help of Garren the Great and Eragon the Grand Sorcerer, the Planes were then reconnected using rifts and severed reconnections to Celestia as a means to entrap Kenji in a prison he has created for himself.¡¯¡± Takeshi and Po both lean back from the book and stare blankly in silence. ¡°So, my grandfather wasn¡¯t lying.¡± Takeshi murmurs. ¡°Planes?¡± ¡°Here it goes. I knew we shouldn¡¯t have told them.¡± Bobby says as he goes back to crossing his arms and listening from his chair. Philip looks at him with an angered look before snapping back to the conversation at hand. ¡°Yes, Po; the Outer Planes aren¡¯t just farfetched tales you¡¯ve heard when you were kids. They are real, and there are ways to get to them.¡± ¡°Woah,¡± Po begins as he scratches and straightens his beard reaching down to his chest. ¡°But, I was raised by wolves, so I never heard any of this.¡± He turns to Takeshi, whom looks away. ¡°Never mind that, shit. The point is that you boys angered one of the rulers and they are taking their anger out on you by causing rifts in time around you.¡± ¡°Who, Kenji? I don¡¯t even know who he is.¡± Takeshi says with a confused look in his golden eyes. ¡°No, the one whom you have angered resides in the Beastlands Plane. You are already familiar with his name, which, you both have insisted, cannot be said by the likes of you and others that follow you.¡± Philip stops with a loud inhale and exhale. The stench of ale on his breath overtakes the smell of burning maple wood in the next room. ¡°So, why did you tell us this?¡± Takeshi asks after a brief silence. Before Philip is able to answer as he take another deep breath, he is interrupted by the front door slamming open and Little R pants violently as he stands at the door with his dripping wet black robes. He wipes his wet hair back as he begins with bated breath and his furry friends retreat to the warmth of the study room fireplace. ¡°Ew, who let these rats in? And a Cat too, what the fuck?¡± Wanda shouts from the other room. *Merow* ¡°They¡¯re just my pets. No reason to be alarmed.¡± R shouts as he closes the door behind him and walks over to the table where the rest look on as Takeshi quickly stands up and slaps a hand on the table. ¡°R, where the fuck have you been?¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s not important. What is important is that I¡¯ve figured out what¡¯s causing the rifts.¡± ¡°Yeah, and so do we.¡± Po limply points to the large leather book as R begins to read through the page they¡¯re on. ¡°Oh,¡± R begins again with a shrug of indifference. He pulls out an empty chair at the head of the table and sits down to join the conversation. ¡°So, what- I mean, why did you tell us this again?¡± Takeshi restarts with the same inquiry. ¡°Only you can fix this problem. If you don¡¯t fix it, it could have repercussions for centuries to come. Anyone whom you come into contact will suffer a great and sick twist of fate brought by the hands of even more sick and twisted gods.¡± ¡°Oh, fuck.¡± Takeshi says as he and Po both stare with eyes wide open. ¡°But, how do we get to said plane?¡± he begins to turn the page onto a passage which he spots a peculiar addition, in the form of a foot not made in the common language stuffed into the binding of the pages. ¡°You¡¯ll have to figure that out on your own.¡± Bobby says angrily as he stands up abruptly and slams the book shut. ¡°What- Philip.¡± Takeshi says with an exacerbated tone and gestures an open palm towards Bobby. ¡°Sorry, Takeshi, but exploring the Outer Planes is something you have to learn on your own as an adventurer. Much like every other great adventurer before you has learned.¡± Philip says as he stands up straight and crosses his arms in agreement. Takeshi shrugs as he looks down into his hand, secretly looking at the piece he took from the book before bobby closed it shut. ¡°Ok, Philip. I guess for now we should focus on stopping that hydra from destroying Hanakiki then.¡± Takeshi begins with determination as he stands up with a balled up fist and that usual flare in his eyes. ¡°Right you are, Takeshi. Let¡¯s go.¡± Philip excitedly states as he begins to walk out to the front door with the others quickly following behind. ¡°What we¡¯re already leaving?¡± Little R says with dissatisfaction as he rings out water from his robes. ¡°We¡¯ve been here for¡­at least a day, Little R.¡± Po says with an annoyed tone as he turns to R and flaps his brown robes in frustration. ¡°Oh,¡± R shrugs. ¡°Ok, I indubitably apologize. I didn¡¯t recognize. But does that mean we have to go back up the stairs? I¡¯m not necessarily cut out for extended periods of athleticism.¡± R rubs his arms anxiously as Wanda begins to shout at the group. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to take your fuckin¡¯ pets.¡± She says in an angry voice before nonchalantly changing into a more cheery tone as she begins again. ¡°You boys stay safe now, you here?¡± Little R¡¯s two rats and his cat, Rocco, quickly climb back into his long robe sleeves. They all exit the house carved out of the side of the cavern and are quickly greeted by the eerie silence of R¡¯s little girl. Her black eyes and ghostly appearance are draped by her long black hair as she startles everyone in the group. ¡°Oh, come on, R.¡± Takeshi shouts with displeasure as he turns to him. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Why the fuck do you have a creepy small child following you?¡± silence falls as R attempts to explain with a hesitant voice. ¡°Oh, um, well, you see the thing is, uhm¡­hehe.¡± Takeshi breaks his angered stare as he rolls his eyes and begins to walk away in long strides. ¡°Was it something I said?¡± R questions as he shouts at the group which walks ahead of him. Six hours later¡­ ¡°Ugh, why is this cavern so gigantic?¡± R asks with bated breath. ¡°Because it was once a dragon¡¯s lair, you dumbass.¡± Bobby answers with a terse tone as he continues to hold a torch with one hand while walking with the rest of the group in unison up the stairs. ¡°Hey, I didn¡¯t ask for your incessant bickering.¡± R retorts back with an even more terse tone. The two stop and lock eyes stricken with antipathy before being quickly dissipated by Philip and Takeshi shouting from a few steps above the group as they both hold up their torch and katana respectively. ¡°Uh, we might have a problem.¡± Philip shouts. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s a big as hole.¡± Takeshi adds in as they both stare at the giant gap in the stairwell p and himself have created. ¡°Wha-¡± Philip begins with utter shock as he takes a step closer to the edge. ¡°What¡¯s the meaning of this shit?¡± Philip pauses as if he was waiting for an answer from the group. ¡°Pfft, I dunno.¡± Takeshi says as he looks up at the stalactites above. Po begins to tap his foot; with bobby and Little R scratching their heads in confusion. ¡°Well, shit.¡± Philip says with discontentment, the light of his torch seems to shake vigorously and then stop within an instant as he begins again. ¡°Great, I guess we have to jump it.¡± ¡°Not, exactly.¡± Takeshi steps forward as he reaches into his bandolier and pulls out a thickly wound rope and a hook the size of a fist tied to the end of it. ¡°I¡¯ll just throw this over.¡± Takeshi quickly starts to swing the rope around in a circle before letting it lose. The group watches as it sails to the other side and smacks into the boards above. With a quick tug, the hook latches onto the last step on the top half of the stairs. ¡°There.¡± He begins to tie the other end to the last step on the bottom half and standing up proudly as he dusts off his hands. ¡°What did that solve?¡± Bobby asks. Takeshi raises a brow at him with confusion. ¡°Wha- we walk across. What else could the intended purpose be?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll I dunno maybe some of us aren¡¯t as agile as you young ones are. Did you think of that?¡± bobby says with a stern face and a shaking fist. Takeshi raises a finger in retort, but is quickly grabbed by Little R, whom breaks the tension with a statement. ¡°Well, why don¡¯t we try?¡± The group looks at R whom begins again after grabbing everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°If we can¡¯t cross this obstacle, who¡¯s to say that well be able to stand up to a dragon?¡± R finishes as he lowers his arm and stares back at the group gawking at him. Bobby sighs loudly as he leans back in disgust. ¡°Uh, fine. The lanky weirdo is right.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± ¡°Listen,¡± Bobby interrupts R before he could retort again. ¡° we need to decide on who goes first; I vote Little r since he is the once that convinced me to do this crazy obstacle.¡± Bobby points nonchalantly at Little R, whom is taken back. ¡°What? Why me?¡± He looks around as everyone points at him. He gulps loudly and gazes down to his little girl whom is tugging on his robe. He leans down and props the creepy black eyed girl onto his back as she clings her arms around his neck. He takes a few steps forward to look over the edge and hesitates by looking back at the group. Takeshi and Po give him a hardy thumbs up; and Philip and Bobby look on with indifference. He looks back down at the rope, almost disappearing from the blackness of the void below. He slowly takes his first few steps out and the rope begins to bend and sway under the pressure. ¡°Woah,¡± R says as he barely maintains his balance. Po stops smiling and turns to Takeshi whom is already in a stance to spring forward t the slightest sign of failure. R stops and hesitates again as he closes his eyes and looks back up at the stairwell ten feet away from him. ¡°Come on, R. you can do it.¡± Po shouts with an enthusiastic fist pump up into the air. ¡°Yeah, hurry up.¡± Bobby snickers and then Philip hardily nudges him in the stomach with his elbow. Little R look back to the abyss below as his vision starts to go black. His body loosens up for a second as he tries to catch himself, but is unable to. Little R¡¯s foot slips out from under him, forcing his body to go sideways; Takeshi quickly begins to dash towards him and takes a flying leap off the stairs and lands on the rope, causing the stairwell above to creak loudly. Takeshi takes a few more strides on the rope before leaning down to catch Little R by the robe at the last second. Quickly thinking, Little R slaps his hand up against Takeshi¡¯s hand as he desperately clings on. ¡°T!¡± Po shouts as he watches in horror, and attempts to cast a spell but stumbles over his shaky movements. ¡°Oh, shit.¡± Bobby says as he continues to watch with an agape jaw, along with a speechless Philip. *Grunt* ¡°How much do you weigh, fat boy?¡± Takeshi says with a disgruntled look and one closed eye while hanging onto r¡¯s hood and hand. Takeshi begins to slip off the rope gradually as R answers. ¡°One ten, you asshole.¡± ¡°Then what¡¯s weighing you down?¡± Takeshi shouts, but then realizes a little girl slipping onto his boots. She doesn¡¯t say a word as she begins to slowly drift down Little R¡¯s boot, while looking up at the two with an unchanged, void expression on her face. ¡°No, don¡¯t fall.¡± R attempts to reach out to her with a free hand, but she lets go of his boot and begins to freefall into the darkness below without a scream. The eerie silence of her fall leaves the others speechless. ¡°R~¡± Takeshi says with an elongated and exhausted tone. Little R look up as Takeshi is holding onto the rope by his feet as he clings to r with both hands. ¡°What, Takeshi?¡± R shouts with desperation. ¡°I hate you.¡± Takeshi quickly states as his feet slip from the rope and they both begin their descent into darkness as they fill the void around them with screams of terror. ¡°AAAHHHHHHhhhhhh¡­¡± Takeshi and Little R both scream in unison while clinging to each other as they both disappear into the void below. They listen as the screams begin to disappear into the darkness with them and the long drones of the distant waterfall is the only thing heard. Po, Philip, and Bobby stand in silence for a bit before Bobby breaks the silence as he approaches the rope line. ¡°We¡¯¡¯, I¡¯ll go next. I mean, how hard could it be?¡± bobby states with vanity. He begins to step onto the rope, adjusting his torch accordingly to the saying of the stiff and worn rope. Inching his way forward, he begins to sway violently but catches himself in time to jump onto the staircase above with ease. ¡°See? Easy.¡± Bobby says as he scoffs at Po and Philip. But his optimistic narcissism quickly disappears as he watches as Philip begins to struggle with his first step before he even has both feet on the rope. ¡°Damn, I¡¯m a bit rusty.¡± Philips sighs with an annoyed tone as he begins to slowly balance his way up the rope toward bobby. Po watches in silence as he begins to sway. ¡°Come on, Phil; you can do it.¡± Bobby says in desperation as Philip begins to sway even more. ¡°Woah,¡± Philip begins to sway uncontrollably. ¡°Come on, jump Philip. I¡¯ll catch you.¡± Bobby shouts with a shocked look on his face as he drops his torch onto the wooden staircase. Po raises a concerned brow as he continues to watch from below. ¡°Here I go.¡± Philip shouts as he makes a flying leap towards bobby, but falls short and ends up smashing his head into one of the support beams below; breaking the beam and falling into the abyss below. ¡°Nooo!¡± Bobby cries out as he reaches down to his brother, whom has disappeared into the abyss below. *Crack* The sound of the support beam breaking forces Po and Bobby to stand with alerted tension. Then, suddenly, the upper staircase, holding Bobby, begins to collapse and slowly fall into the abyss as well. Bobby attempts to get to higher ground, but his futile effort is quickly snuffed as he falls into the abyss along with thousands of pounds of lumber going with him. ¡°Ahhhhh!¡± Po watches as the upper staircase collapses as it goes up the staircase, slowly cracking and shattering into large chunks before falling apart on itself. The screams of Philip and bobby slowly disappear as they are swallowed up by the darkness; joining Takeshi and Little R on the ground. Po stares blankly into the void below and takes a very slow, but deep breath before beginning to talk to himself. ¡°I¡¯m just gonna walk back down.¡±