《Movie Central》 The Beginning of the Beginning: Worlds Away a Man Gets Mexican "So as the prophecy speaks; One Riddle will for Wonder Fight and With Two shall Finally Reunite!" spoke the ''Great Crackpot'' before closing his eyes and exhaling... then reopening them and taking a deep breath. "Why so many capitals?" asked a passerby before walking off down the street, never to be seen again by any noteworthy characters to our knowledge. For now.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. "I''ll tell you why!" yelled the ''Mad Prophet'' "It''s BECAUSE IT MATTERS idiot!" forgetting he had yet to tell anyone else the brand new, incredibly important prophecy, he proceeded to walk the down the street murmuring about Dawnbringers, Heroes and Visionaries as he looked for the nearest Dos Capas store. ... Elsewhere a pair of glowing green half-keys playing 2 sided chess on the wall dividing them said "Riddle was it?" before flashing away with the game finished with a perfect negative checkmate. The Beginning Proper: Enter Movie Central & The Xs Hey there stranger, nice to meet ya'', I''m Xavier Riddle. Xavier ''cause I like it, and Riddle ''cause my mind''s a mess. Now let me tell you a story, take you on a wild ride. An adventure of such proportion that none shall ever equal it under this sky nor surpass it within this Universe. This is the story of how I stepped Beyond and how I spread my grin across the cosmos. Excited yet? Well, you should be. And I mean that, now follow me and witness the rise of me, the great, the awesome, Xavier Riddle, King of Madness and All Things Fun. Now Curtain! LIGHTS & ACTION!!!!!
Xavier was having a wonderful dream about a cinema filled with magic and adventure. Seriously, this is the kind of dream you never want to wake up from. So is it any sort of surprise that when at the end of this dream, in the realm between sleep and awakening when he was asked if he wanted to stay for a while longer he said... "No." "You see, I''ve got a family back home and a drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend waiting for me on the other side and as much fun as a dream can be, you can''t beat the real thing they call my life." "Fair enough" responded the voice who quickly condensed into Uncle Sam the Veteran, who followed on with, "I''d make a similar choice myself, but you''re out of luck buddy, I just got the order for your conscription." "UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!" boomed Uncle Sam, who turned into a poster and flashed out of existence in a flare of light. Followed by a different voice booming, "Welcome to Movie Central!"
Xavier woke up. Then he blinked. Then blinked again. This wasn''t his comfy bed. But it screamed all sorts of fun to him. "OHHHHHHHH BABY!!! it is good to be FREE!" screamed Xavier sporting what could only be described as a psychopathic grin into the cinema, "No more boring job, no more boring co-workers, no more boring life!" Suddenly his face changed looking contemplative, "But I will miss my beautiful, soft, curvy, warm and fun to spend the night with... bed. Oh, and also my girlfriend but MAN was that bed comfortable. Anywhom, if I ever get out of here I''m sure the nice, glowing people will supply me with a new girlfriend and help me find my bed... Or is that the other way around? Either way that sounds like a Future Xavier problem." spoke Xavier... to himself. "So where am I, and who is this glowing, ghostly version of myself in nothing but his Cheshire cat boxers and a leather beanie?" Xavier asked himself, aloud. "Excellent question me!" replied Ghost Xavier, "You see, remember that guy in your, my... our dream? Yeah, he was real. And we got kidnapped. By a magical, multiversal, non-copyright-infringing magic cinema." "Yeah, I''d kind of already figured that out, I mean it is kind of obvious what happened. But please continue, Mister Magical, Ghost Me," replied Non-Ghost Xavier with a flourish of his hands. "Anytime now," he said with more than a hint of amusement creeping into his voice. "I figured as much, we are... we, me? Doesn''t matter, point is that we are the same me, so I get you." joked back Ghost-X.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. "We are after all Kings of Madness, it would not be becoming to act otherwise," pronounced the two with eerily accurate fake British accents in harmony before bursting into laughter at finally meeting someone who really saw things the way they did. "Anyway," followed on Ghost-X, "A bunch of guys calling themselves Enforcers came by this way earlier and Luca was with them, they looked pretty mean and were carrying weapons of some sorts so I used my ghostly magic to send them the other way and hide you from sight." "We have ghost magic?" inquired Xavier. "Not we, I have ghost magic," replied G-X, "AND STOP SHRINKING MY NAME," Ghost Xavier continued. "Who if not we, could control powers of the mind upon getting them?", gloated Ghost X, "I just felt they were there and by the time our buddy Luca showed his smile I mastered them. You should pick some up after we fuse. You''ll also get this nifty beanie I woke up with. Oh by the way you know I look like you plus the beanie and you are in your ''pyjamas¡¯ right?" "True, true, true but I don''t particularly care." "Wait did you say fuse?" "You''ll get some memories too, have fun and always keep grinning!" WAAHH!
"Last time, in Movie Central," boomed the narrator. "WAAAAH!"¡­
"Huh, that didn''t actually hurt. Wha¡¯d¡¯ya know?" exclaimed Fused Xavier to... himself again. "Let''s see what we''ve got in here... Alright, there''s 2 hours of eating floor popcorn, Basic Mind Tricks 101 by Ghost Xavier, knock-off sci-fi soldiers marching past with Luca, bad poetry and when I say bad I mean jeez I hope nobody reads that ever, seems that apparently if I find more Ghost mes... me''s, mes¡¯s? What''s the plural for me? Anyhow, if I find more Ghost-X''s I get more stylish black, possibly leather clothing that gives me magical powers specially attuned to myself and apparently, this beanie is a Mind Piece hence the Mind Tricks. Right. Well this place is a cinema, maybe they have a gift store selling socks, my feet are freezing. Thus, my journey begins!" and with that dramatic conclusion to his rambling, Xavier started to moonwalk around looking for a gift shop. .... "Nope." ... ... "Not here.'' ... ... ... "This one''s locked and seems kind of dark and creepy. Shame it''s closed. Real shame that is." ... "This is getting boring, I think that I''m gonna go watch a movie now. This is after all supposedly Movie Central, they ought to at least have a blockbuster running, right?" BLAMMO! "Well at least the sound effects are original." loudly thought a bemused Xavier. WASHAKKABLOM! "Nailed it," continued Xavier. EXPEALABOSHKAM! "Really, now that''s just a bit extreme, now isn''t it?" chuckled Xavier, oh and for the grand finale... "AND FOR MY GRAND FINALE... BOOF!"shouted the third of the loud voices Xavier had been hearing recently. "Huh, I was only sort of expecting that," finished the still bemused Xavier. "I, Bob am the almighty BOB! An all-powerful INTERN at your service!"shouted Bob appearing in another flash of light. "Hey Bob, didn''t know you could intern at a cinema, sounds kinda fun..." said Xavier drifting off into his thoughts, only to be startled back into consciousness by a burning question, "But anyways, what do you recommend watching ''round here?" "I, BOB am here to answer your questions and inform you of your general situation!shouted Bob seemingly ignoring Xavier and continuing on his pre-planned speech. "THAT IS ALL!"finished Bob,"HAVE YOU ANY QUESTIONS MORTAL!" "Where''s the popcorn stall? I think my movie''s starting soon," queried Xavier to the dumbstruck face of Bob. The End of the Beginning: Pop-Corn & Movies "As you wish for Exploding Corn to better enjoy your movie it shall be so!"thundered Bob, and with a click of his fingers summoned 5 cobs of corn with bomb timers strapped to them and flicked them towards Xavier. "THANKYOU," replied Xavier, "I always try to get these back home, but they just give me some buttery snack and call the cops when I explain what I want. It''s a real pain to getting my hands on some of these so I haven''t had any in ages, so thanks Bob. But I can''t carry these around in public, I did that once and had to spend a whole week throwing off the cops, good thing I found that turban and robe so the cops wouldn''t bomb check me, I mean they tried but I just made up words and called them racist ''til they left. They never caught the Corny Terror but the name sends me into laughter anytime I see it." "BOB LIKES YOUR STORY. BOB WILL PROVIDE BACKPACK FOR STORAGE! BOB RECOMMENDS CAPTAIN AWESOMESAUCE FOR VIEWING IN CINEMA 1345762891-A! THERE IS 5 MINUTES UNTIL STARTING TIME SO BOB WISHES YOU LUCK!"and with that, Bob clicked his fingers to create a rather stylish black leather knapsack which sucked all of the Exploding Corn into itself before swinging itself onto Xavier''s back just in time before Xavier was sucked into a previously non-existent wormhole or portal taking him to places unknown. The last words of Xavier before he vanished into the portal were, "See ya Bob," quickly followed by, "Hey, I never got my socks!!!" before the portal pulled him in and closed, only to quickly re-open to receive a pair of jade-green socks with Cheshire smiles all over them from Bob, who, along with the portal disappeared in another flash of bright light. "I''d better rush, I only have roughly 3.72534 minutes left until my movie starts," were the first words out of Xavier''s mouth upon exiting the portal into a comfy seat inside of what was known as Cinema 1345762891-A.
"Alright," recited Xavier to himself as usual, "I''ve already ''popped'' one of the corns, I don''t have a phone to mute and there are no ratings so I am set to watch this movie! Shame that I''ve got no-one to watch it with though." SCBLAMMO!If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Bob?" questioned Xavier, "No this is different, I think?" "Hey, Xavier!" yelled Sci-fi Trooper-1, "Long time, no see! You seem well!" "Oh, it''s YOU, Luca! That''s a relief, for a moment there I thought you were part of the government here to capture me for experimentation!" exclaimed a semi-relieved Xavier, "But what''s with the new get-up, you never seemed the type to join the army sci-fi or otherwise?" "Well it wasn''t really my choice see, this Uncle-Sam lookalike ''conscripted'' me and these army dudes were waiting for me when I got here. They ''recruited'' me at gunpoint and then led me on a wild-goose chase looking for you. They even got me in this S.P.A.R.M.A. which can be voice-controlled by any superior officer in this army and tracks my location in or outside of movies to prevent my no doubt debonair and devious escape, the only part that even really comes off is this helmet, while the rest folds into this watch-type thing when you want to show off your army swag or for when you have vacation time, but it''s apparently indestructible and doesn''t come off." replied a dispirited but enlivened Luca. "Man, that must suck, I really feel for you. So, what''s the escape plan Luca?" replied Xavier. "There is no escape plan this time Xavier, I''ve got to ''recruit'' you too, this is apparently the fate of all conscriptees and they''ve got a lock on your general location right now. They''re coming Xavier, and I can''t help you this time. Sorry man, the game''s up." followed on the bummed-out Luca. "You may not be able to help me but I can help you Luca, banking on one condition," replied Xavier looking thoughtful. "And what''s that?" questioned Luca. "Simple," answered Xavier, "The condition is that you weren''t being metaphorical when you were talking about going into these movies, that and that you''re willing to be my partner in crime once more. Are you in?" "Of course," answered a Luca a smile creeping on to his face, "Have I ever been one to shy away for adventure? Well? Hmm?" "Excellent, I knew I could count on you buddy, now throw that helmet into the screen and dive in right on after," yelled Xavier, not willing to waste more time when adventure called. "Right after you buddy," replied Luca. "Say it together now," said Xavier as they ran towards the screen. As they entered they followed his sage advice. "GERONIMO!!!!" Capes and Capers 1: Capt-ions & Skywriters "Phew, for a second there I thought we were going to run into a wall instead of actually, succeeding to get into this movie," exclaimed Luca. "Nope," replied Xavier with a satisfied grin, "You did run into that wall, ergo the massive bruise on your skull, causing you to get knocked out and forcing me to throw you into the screen.¡± ¡°Like a sack of potatoes,¡± continued Xavier with only the smallest of pauses. ¡°Man, you weigh a ton, reminds me of when we had to carry that sack of metal potatoes while running from the cops. Unfortunately for you and rather fortunately for the funny bone of the surrounding crowd and my humorous skeleton, we were delivered five meters above the ground and you weren''t exactly in a state to protect yourself, now were you?" "Oh, it''s all coming back to me now," answered a slightly out of it Luca rubbing the comically large bruise on his head. "Really?" asked Xavier sounding almost impressed. Almost. "Of course not, I was blacked out the whole time!" joked back Luca, "So what movie are we in, I didn''t bother to check." "I''d say Captain Awesomesauce," replied Xavier. "You actually bothered to plan far enough ahead to actually check beforehand?" exclaimed a semi-shocked Luca. "Don''t be ridiculous," replied Xavier, "I just figured that since the words ''Captain Awesomesauce" are floating in the sky it was a much better guess than any other." "Huh," was all Luca chose to say, "Odd that nobody''s noticed that yet don''t you think?" "Nope." was Xavier''s simple reply. "Why ever not," queried Luca. "I know this because I asked somebody, and when she stared deep into my jade-green eyes she couldn''t resist," answered Luca. "Couldn''t resist what?" asked Luca, teetering on the verge of not wanting to know yet simultaneously too curious not to ask. "Tell me what the weather was like, which required her to rip her gaze from my incredibly charming self and gaze skywards and she probably would have mentioned the floating sky-words... well, there they go, away into the ceaseless void of oblivion..." poetically continued Xavier. "Anyway," he continued, ¡®Though markedly less poetically than my lyrical self, she would have surely told a charmer like me about something out of the usual going on so either she specifically can''t see it, we were hallucinating, only movie-goers like ourselves can see it or it comes and goes now and then around here so it is totally normal. But we can ignore that last one like I¡¯m going to ignore the fact you tried to arrest me because she still would have told me about it since it is part of the weather.¡±Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. ¡°Alright then Mr. Detective what¡¯s the plan?¡± replied Luca to his buddy¡¯s tirade of shameless self-promotion and twisted logic. ¡°Since the movie is called Captain Awesomesauce I say we check out the local abandoned building for supervillains or try and find tis superhero guy,¡± replied Xavier rubbing his hands in glee at the chance to meet a superhero. ¡°Alright so do you want to go Superhero Team or Supervillain Team Xavier?¡± questioned Luca. ¡°Let¡¯s see who¡¯s on both sides before we pick a team, don¡¯t want to end up on some psychopathic weirdo¡¯s team, right,¡± replied Xavier. ¡°That¡¯s why we are going on different teams right,¡± joked Luca. ¡°Yep, to avoid being on a team with you,¡± bantered back Xavier. ¡°Psych,¡± they both yelled at once. ¡°For now, let¡¯s both go with the hero¡¯s team and use some of their plot armour, we are still relatively human at this stage,¡± said Luca. ¡°Alright, since you know you¡¯ve got no chance of winning I¡¯ll let it slip this time, but when we both have powers we are having a proper showdown,¡± answered Xavier before joining Luca to go get a newspaper. ¡­ ¡°Thanks,¡± said Luca to the vending machine, a habit he had picked up from spending what some may call ¡°Too much time at asylums,¡± spent picking up valuable life skills with Xavier and making friends. Paying for the newspaper with government funding, lovingly provided with the S.P.A.R.M.A. for bribery and strictly official use. Sure. He saw the coffee stains the other soldiers had been sporting. He saw them. He knew. Breaking Luca out of his reverie was Xavier loudly proclaiming conspiracy theories to anyone who would listen. Snapping back to his train of thought he start to monologue, another habit from Jerry¡¯s Asylum for the Crazy and Misunderstood. ¡°Alright, everyone knows that the first suspect is whoever writes articles about the superhero the most. Case in point I just checked the latest copy of Paparizzi Daily and the front-page article about one Captain Awesomesauce saving some kids from a falling skyscraper. Which apparently is quite common around here. Anyway, it is written by John Italiano, and his source is ¡®anonymous¡¯ meaning he wrote it himself, therefore he is a prime suspect to know or know of our elusive Mr. Awesomesauce- wait Xavier are you even listening?¡± he asked while waving around the newspaper mid-air to the amusement of passer-by¡¯s and causing some deep contemplative looks on the faces of a few hardcore eavesdroppers. Looks like this Italiano guy was going to be getting some very curious visitors soon enough. ¡°Hmm, oh Luca did you say something? I was just thinking about how we should go check on this Italiano guy who wrote that article. He seems real suspicious getting this close of a close-up with the Big Sauce himself,¡± replied a semi-distracted Xavier leaving behind a crowd of strangers with crazed looks in their eyes, whilst enjoying his ice-cream that he grabbed when Luca mid-rant mode, and enjoying even more how gobsmacked Luca looked when he showed he actually thought something through for once. The listeners were now hastily scribbling things down and whipping out phones to spread the news. Or ask the Vatican for a refund on their insurance. It could go either way with Xavier explaining some ¡®simple¡¯ facts of life. ¡°-vier, Xavier, Xavier, Xavier, XAVIER!!!!¡± yelled Luca right next to his ear, snapping him out of his reverie. ¡°Yes, what is it?¡± replied a perfectly insane and calm Xavier snapping his eyes open to release a dazzling flicker of jade-green light and slightly surprising Luca who took a step back then once more forward again. ¡°Come on Xavier, we need to go interview John before that motley crowd of tourists and eavesdroppers get to him!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s Go!¡± ... Elsewhere a man is suddenly interrupted mid-evil cackle with the terrible sense that something was going to change and not in his favour. No, not in his favour at all. Here Comes the Big Bad: Mercurial Times & Ominous Councilors ¡°For too long the High Council have oppressed us. Fed us poisoned lies and walked all over our freedom. Condemned our friends and family to the Outer Rings as we were forced to watch. Today you have a choice. Hide and cower here like those monsters want you to¡­ Or you stand and fight for our freedom!¡± continued Ashley as the crowd of Trainee Enforcers started to murmur, ¡°They have the metal they need yet they persecute us, murder us. For too long have we turned a blind eye. No more. Today we fight!¡± the crowd started to rise in volume, sparks of anger glinting in their eyes, ¡°Today we end their tyranny and begin a new day!¡± The crowd started to roar. ¡°Today we break free!¡± she shouted, and with a final burst of sound the crowd of Enforcer-Trainees charged past their handlers and ran through the opening doors that spoke goodbye to them in chirpy robotic voices, running to join up with the Scavengers fighting and revolutionising outside. ¡­ Jack was fighting tooth and nail just to kill¡­ time and ideally some of the Enforcers but really you couldn¡¯t have everything in life (filthy lies). He was relying on the instincts that 5 years in the Outer Ring had taught him (duck, weave and run to run another day) although with rather brutal means (being chased with tasers and feather-dusters). Dodging the swing of an Enforcer¡¯s blade(his hair would beg to differ), he caught a glimpse of his sister leading a tidal wave of Trainees to join the battle. ¡°Finally!¡± he shouted at her as time was being very persistent in its struggle and he was running out of Enforcers, but his yell was drowned out by the grin on his face (bah, he calls that wiggle on his face a grin) and the clamours of surprise escaping from the Trainees, as they saw the pain that the remaining loyalist Enforcers were inflicting upon their fellow man¡¯s overwhelming army. Relaxing for a second at the arrival of the reinforcements , making this battle even more pointless as they now outnumbered them something like 36:0.5, Jack let out a sigh of relief before gathering his wits as he looked up to the High Tower. ¡°SCAVENGERS! RECRUITS! CIVILIANS! Follow me as we storm the Tower!¡± yelled Jack to the battle-frenzied rebels as they stalled for a moment before swarming forward, running past the near extinct Enforcer troops towards the Tower that pierced past the rest of the city, a metaphorical flip of the finger up at the heavens. Approaching the Tower, the rebels stalled for a moment thinking of what they had lost to the Council¡¯s false perfection, the people they had fought over it, before their eyes took on a cobalt glint and they dispersed into groups to hunt down Enforcers. ¡°Time to finish this,¡± whispered Jack to himself and the invisible narrator he was sure stalked his every move, walking up to the Tower¡¯s doors full of partially faked nonchalance and swagger but mostly as he had said, ready to finish it. BANG! Jack winced at the sound of the doors slamming open his swagger dispersing in the shock, as the doors left unlocked from the escape of the Councilors, performed their job with all the drama and sound effect they could reasonably be expected to.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Que thunder and lightning,¡± Spoke Jack as the prophesied storm began its dramatic impact. ¡°Hello Councilor, welcome back to the Tower, the High Councilor wishes to see you, Hel-llo-Coun-cil-cil-cil-or...¡± the A.I. of the Tower said before either malfunctioning and shutting down, the saboteurs¡¯ work finally coming to fruition or falling asleep due to a hard day¡¯s work. ¡°Probably the second one,¡± Jack thought, ¡°She did sound pretty tired.¡± Carefully searching through the foyer, then through the floors one by one he found some rather incriminating images of the Councilors, jumping for a moment when the lights came back on but not seeing so much as a glimpse of anyone or their goldfish. Eventually he had searched every floor but the highest, the personal residence of the High Councilor, the most predictable place for an epic final showdown. Stopping for a moment he thought back to where it began, with him taking the Scavenger¡¯s Mark for his sister (bet gone wrong) and everything that had happened since (a LOT). He stepped up to the door. ¡°Welcome to the High Councilor¡¯s Floor, the High Councilor would like to see you,¡± spoke the same A.I., her short nap complete as the door rose revealing a figure facing away, who watched countless people through the Council¡¯s ¡®Safety Network¡¯ like a total creep, watching the rebels take back their freedom. Creep. ¡°Well, this is a close second but not everything gets what they want in the end,¡± ominous words came from the Ominous Councilor (random title generators were a terrible idea in hindsight the Councilor had many times reflected) as he turned to face Jack. ¡°Some want fame, others desire riches, but me, I just wanna watch the world burn,¡± continued the figure revealing his cyborgian figure. ¡°Who did this this to you!¡± cried Jack in righteous fury at the poor man¡¯s appearance, with body parts replaced with cold machinery and connected him to whirring machines that maintained the Councilman¡¯s life, ¡°Are you okay? Should I call a combat paramedic to check you out?¡± ¡°I did this to myself you fool!¡± bellowed the slightly off-kilter and aggrieved Councilor, having gone this far in his search to be offered help? Salvation from himself? It physically hurt him, and that wasn¡¯t supposed to even be possible anymore. ¡°Immortal, the ever-lasting, that is what I¡¯ve become by casting aside my useless humanity, for when humansare dead and gone what we¡¯ve built will still be here. As will I.¡± Recovering from his shock, Jack¡¯s desire to help this grievously mutilated man reached a peak, seeing he was to far gone to save, ¡°I will end you! Don¡¯t worry whatever remains of the real you I¡¯ll save you!¡± he yelled, before pulling out his pistol and emptying it into the thing before smashing all the computers to be safe and to execute his assistance. ¡°I am immortal,¡± echoed from the walls before fading to permanent silence, which was disrupted by the slightest sound from nowhere and everywhere at once, ¡°Thankyou.¡± Jack carefully considered the camera screens seeing sad and rejoicing heroes join hands in celebration, then lifted the man who had lost so much in his search for life eternal and threw him out the open window before walking away. The Ominous Councilor wasn¡¯t the only monster this world had made, and it takes a hero to save a monster. Then nurse it back to health and use its magical powers to make an empire of Joy, an Empire Eternal. A Short Interlude: Wait up... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt...This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... Waaaaaiiiiittttttttt for iiiiiiittttttt... A Slightly Longer Interlude: Keep Waiting... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg...The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg... Keeeeeeeeeppp waaaaiiiiittttiiiiinnnnnggggg...