《I’m Stuck as a Ghost So I Decided to Follow the Isekai Protagonist!》


 1. The Library

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    There was once a man that had found something really special, something incredible and unimaginable, perhaps his deepest and most precious treasure. I''m talking about Pisces'' hidden library. This was a very special and unique library, and at that moment in time, he was the only one who knew about it, he had been coming back to it to read all of its contents, rereading them over and over again, trying to unveil its mysteries, submerging himself in those unending and deep mysteries in contained.


    It started on a warm afternoon. He was walking by the forest trying to free his mind. He had been walking through this forest on occasion for quite some time. His walks could take up to 6 hours on the way out and back depending on how far he went into the forest. This library was located in the clearing of a big hill in the middle of that forest, not many people used to come around there, so the hill was usually completely his to explore. There were actually several of them throughout the whole area, but that one was probably the highest of them all. The first time he started walking around it, but after a while he had decided that he would climb it little by little, and after a couple of weeks of walking through treacherous land, he had managed to reach its top.


    The height? Well, you could say it was big as one of those so called skyscrapers, probably twice as much, I¡¯m not really good calculating distances, and yes, I can say that you are right if you are mentioning it was quite the adventure trying to go alone, but it did make up for good exercise for him or so he thought.


    While the hill was covered by trees and dense vegetation around it, at the top of it there was a small but very curious clearing, and in that clearing, you could find what seemed to be the ruins of a deteriorated castle, or a church, it was quite difficult to define with its architecture, it seemed to be made of worn out, grey bricks and some of its structure simulated what used to be a really majestic building, but now it seemed somehow covered under the mountain itself. At the top of it, there was the name ¡°Pisces¡± carved in the stone itself which confusingly mixed itself with the bricks that the structure was built from.When he saw it, it gave him quite the surprise, yes, despite its height this hill didn¡¯t have any visitors, probably because of its remote location away from the city, and due to the fact that the top of it was covered on trees, it didn¡¯t even make it a good looking spot. Most people used to think the road to this area was already rough and difficult to do because of its state and lack of a proper highway, so the place was mostly desolated


    Mostly desolated, and all to himself.


    He saw a small entrance around its side. At first he thought it was some sort of small door, but it looked more like a regular old window, a window with stained glass, broken around the sides and with a small handle for you to take it and open it. He looked around, there were a few other windows on the ruin itself, but they seemed a bit too high to reach it, so out of curiosity, he got on his knees and tried to walk inside to see what he could find.


    The library on its inside was incredibly huge, it was as big as a theater, after you walked inside the window, you would be met with a narrow hallway and some vertical stairs that allowed you to descend into the main hall, where all its shelves were located. The floor was made of yellow and green tiles that looked worn out with age, but that were probably still too recent and new to be constructed in a location like that. The light entered through every stained glass window and it reflected down towards the shelves themselves. It was probably a trick of the light, but some stained glass windows that were the highest seemed to show other skies to the one that was actually sheltering the forest, the cloud movements were different, some of them appeared to show stars and the windows showed different colours, but again, he had to try and strain his eyes to be able to see them from the place the library hall was buried in.


    He looked around and chose one of the books. They were all hardcover brown books, very very worn out books with yellow withered down pages. He chose one of them and tried to understand what it was about. The book title said ¡°The life of Caruncle Periwinkle as narrated by Ellen Valmonte.¡± In one of the first pages, there was a single note from Marlene to the reader that said ¡°To Jazmin, my one and only love.¡± He placed the book back where he found it and looked at the next one, but it simply said ¡° The life of Caruncle Periwinkle as narrated by Marlene Valmonte, Vol 2.¡± He scratched his head and placed that other book back on the shelf, but looking around to the whole shelf, it looked as if it was completely filled out with volumes of that same tale, with how big the shelves were, there could be at least 300 volumes or more, all of them with the same worn out pages and hardcover covering them out. He was so strangely fascinated and bedazzled that he didn¡¯t notice his stomach rumbling out of hunger.


    He had read most if not all of the books in that fascinating library, the life of Caruncle Periwinkle documented the story of a man who had led the revolution that evolved into the independence of more than 20 countries who had been previously ruled by the The Basilio Dominion and that ended in a culture renaissance in the whole continent and starting a new era in the whole word. The library didn¡¯t just contain only the books about of Caruncle thought, but also a lot of academic information regarding the nations and the world he lived in, as well as his family members and the people he started to fight with, the places and topics and the subjects he studied, as well everything surrounding the revolution he started. After reading everything inside that library, he reread it all over again, and then again, of course, sometimes, he would only pick a volume of his life he was really into that day, sometimes he would read repeatedly the academic books about the world he existed in, the lives inside it and everything that surrounded them.


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    The question that stayed with him was, why were these books there? Naturally, he looked for any information he could find about Caruncle and Ellen, but he couldn¡¯t find anything at all, not only the character was fictional in itself, but the writer was as well, nobody had ever heard of her ever before. The sun would start to set that day, and if he didn¡¯t leave the library in time, he would end up walking through the forest at night, when it was really hard to see, which was not just unpleasant but also frightening. There had been nights where he had even decided to stay on the library itself, but the freezing cold that creeped inside that library couldn¡¯t be fought with the warmest sheets, or the stuffiest hoods, he had tried to stay, but ended up catching a terrible cold more than once, and even if he didn¡¯t want to separate himself of the library of Pisces, he recognized that there were times where he had to leave. He was just that weak.


    It was after he climbed the stairs and got out through the window of the buried library that he saw someone standing in front of him, it was a woman. He cleaned the dirt from his clothes and stood up, she was uncomfortably close to the entrance, wearing an animal hide top along with some shorts, she had no shoes of any kind. He looked towards her face, she had grey eyes and jet black hair, she was probably in her late thirties or early forties. She was smiling at him.


    ¡°How much did you read?¡± She asked without taking away her eyes from him, smiling, she was still smiling.


    He looked around, there didn¡¯t seem to be anyone else in the small clearing, the sun was starting to set and the air was getting cold and dry. He had to go home.


    ¡°Uh, sorry, what?¡± He asked her, not because he hadn¡¯t heard her, but to try and gather his thoughts.


    ¡°How much did you read?¡± She repeated the question with the exact same tone she used before. Her voice sounded creepy, he thought maybe she was sick.


    ¡°How much¡­ I mean, I did read some stuff, I guess.¡± He looked at the floor and answered her in a quiet voice. He wasn¡¯t sure if he was ashamed of getting caught crawling out of a building, or frightened that she seemed to know about what he was up to. ¡°Uh, do you know anything about this? The library, I mean?¡± He pointed towards the buried building behind them.


    ¡°Yes, actually, it is part of something I have been studying a lot, a lot.¡± She finally crossed her arms and closed her eyes, freeing me from that uncanny look she was giving me for a moment. ¡°Quite the place, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Y-Yeah.¡± He scratched his neck, he felt as if he had been caught red handed stealing something. He was probably right, the poor idiot.


    ¡°How long have you been coming here for?¡±


    ¡°Uh, well¡­ I guess it has been five years now, I think so, yeah.¡±


    ¡°I see, so you are familiar with the language.¡±


    ¡°The language?¡±


    ¡°Yes, were you able to decipher it all?¡±


    ¡°What? Well¡­ I mean, everything was in English, I didn¡¯t really find any books like¡­ I didn¡¯t see anything different.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ excuse me, have you come here before? I have never seen you in the time I have been around.¡±


    ¡°I have.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Silence, only silence, she was still deep in thought after what he had told her. He thought about it for a moment. He wanted to ask her more about the library, but he didn¡¯t know how to continue the conversation. ¡°You know, this whole thing is really interesting, I mean¡­ not just the library but also the story, it seemed that Caruncle¡¯s life was very detailed, and the world he lived in had a lot of detail into it.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡± She looked back at him, ¡°but wait, if everything was in english, you must have read most of it then.¡±


    ¡°W-Well, yes, I have.¡±


    The woman started looking me up and down, as if she was carefully studying him.


    ¡°In that case, why don¡¯t you give me your opinion about it?¡±


    ¡°My opinion, about what?¡±


    ¡°About Caruncle, of course,¡± she smiled again, ¡°tell me, what would you change?¡±


    ¡°Y-You mean, about Caruncle? As a character?¡±


    ¡°Caruncle was a real man.¡±


    ¡°A real man?¡±


    ¡°What would you change? Had you been in his shoes? Is there anything you would have done differently?¡±


    He felt that his stomach had turned into a hole, his body became lighter than air, and the world around him started to get dark. He was scared, he had never been good with strangers, and even less in a sudden meeting like the one he was in. He remembered that he was telling himself that he was just making up some weird stories on his own, he was not just wondering, but fantasising about that woman¡¯s background, letting his imagination go wild, and he had to get a reality check because otherwise he would end up with a panic attack, but¡­ but¡­ he also thought that if it was what he really thought it was, it would be really funny to see the expression on her face.


    ¡°I would have done a lot better,¡± he answered her, with a shy smile and looking towards his shoes. He wanted to give a sense of confidence, but the best he could do was to appear aloof and simple minded.


    ¡°A lot better?¡± She finally frowned. ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°I think that Caruncle ended up sacrificing more of his loved ones than he should have needed, if it had been me, I would have protected them.¡±


    The woman didn¡¯t say anything for a few seconds, her behaviour became rigid again.


    ¡°A lot of those people were fated to die.¡± She smiled without stopping frowning. ¡°Caruncle blamed himself, but I¡¯m sure there would haven¡¯t been no other way.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ I guess Caruncle didn¡¯t know much about what it means to keep a low profile, probably¡­¡±


    ¡°Low profile? You¡­¡±


    ¡°There are things Caruncle didn¡¯t see ahead of himself,¡± he looked back at her, there was a slight smirk on his face.


    ¡°Hmm,¡± she chuckled, her look had turned into something uncanny and spectral. There was something about her eyes that was sucking him in, he tried to look away, but he couldn¡¯t. ¡°You know what, why don¡¯t you go ahead and show me?¡±


    ¡°Show you?¡± He felt he was about to lose his balance, he wanted to get out of there, maybe if he asked her to come with him and walk down the mountain he could get some air and distract himself, he was really nervous and just wanted to go home. ¡°Uh, wait, I don¡¯t think we presented each other, what is your name?¡±


    ¡°My name is Jazmin.¡±


    ¡°Jazmin.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    And with that, the whole world darkened.

 2. The Dream

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    My name is Ellen, when I made a prank to my love in the sky, she punished me to an existence on earth as a ghost until the sun on the Milky Way finally burns out. Ever since, I have been wandering the streets of earth looking at people, watching them grow, watching them die. I have seen places I dearly loved and people I had really admired, but I couldn¡¯t talk with any of them, and when they died, I would never see them again. Wherever the plane of space or time you are right now, I can say with certainty that we will never ever meet. But indeed, this story isn¡¯t about me, but about one of those people I ended up following, this is the story of Caruncle Periwinkle.


    I¡¯m not sure exactly where I should really start, Caruncle¡¯s life was¡­ well, I don¡¯t know, I don¡¯t really care about his previous life, he wasn¡¯t anyone more or less prone to end up in this position. In any case, it might be suitable that I start right now.


    That day the air was weird, it felt weird to him, it was this dense, thick layer that felt heavier on his lungs, he looked around, the walls looked dirty, the floor looked dirty, everything looked somewhat dirty, the buildings in the outside the window looked worn out, and the sky had a gray hue to it that Caruncle still wasn¡¯t able to grasp even then. Around noon and after lunch, Caruncle would usually reunite not just with Evelyn but also Valentin, Felicity and Percival. Percival was a man that had been a friend of his family since some long ago, he had been the person to help him out when he fell into a well as a kid, Felicity was one of the acquaintances Evelyn trusted the most. Since none of them had classes around that hour, they would join together to talk with each other in the dining hall. I would sit at the top of the table to see them eat and then chit chat about whatever it came to their mind, they didn¡¯t seem to mind my presence after all.


    ¡°You know, I have been reading Maxwell McAbe as of lately,¡± I heard Percival speak. I had joined them in the middle of a conversation but I didn¡¯t really care enough to hear what had been the context.


    ¡°Oh really? I heard about him? How is it?¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m still waiting for him to convince me of his style, really. People usually say he¡¯s very one note but when his books fall into place, they can be quite alluring to read. I personally haven''t experienced it yet.¡±


    ¡°I would agree to what you were told,¡± Valentin joined the conversation. ¡°An acquaintance of mine recommended me to listen to Brid Jewele while I read him, the result is¡­ interesting, so to say.¡±


    ¡°Oh, do you have one of those phonographs?¡± Evelyn asked Valentin.


    ¡°Indeed I do, they are quite the interesting machines to say the least.¡±


    ¡°I just can¡¯t grab my head around the thing either,¡± added Percival, ¡°I have been studying how the whole thing actually works, but still, I have no idea how such a thing exists, to me, it¡¯s almost just like magic.¡±


    ¡°Where does the music come from?¡± Felicity asked Percival, I didn¡¯t like her expression most of the time.


    ¡°I think it was¡­ how was it? They take the sound in this thing and that¡¯s what the phonograph plays. If you put the music in there, in one of those things, you can play it in any phonograph, but the word escapes me right now.¡±


    ¡°I see, but what I meant was, how does the phonograph itself manage to move on its own?¡±


    ¡°Oh that''s like some sort of spring engine, or something using a spring, it was also really fascinating.¡±


    ¡°An engine?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°But wait,¡± Evelyn chimed back into the conversation between Felicity and Percival ¡°you said you can store the music in something? You don¡¯t remember what it''s called?


    ¡°Not really, I forgot that as well..¡±


    ¡°I saw one of them the other day,¡± Percival added. ¡°They are some sort of black plates where a needle is put on and that¡¯s how it sees the music.¡±


    ¡°And you don¡¯t remember the name?¡± Felicity asked.


    ¡°Not really, no.¡±


    ¡°What about you, Caruncle? Have you seen these things before?¡± Evelyn turned to ask him, the rest of the table turned to look at him too.


    ¡°A phonograph¡­¡± Caruncle said quietly with empty eyes looking at the wall.


    ¡°What did you say?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the same thing, it¡¯s the same thing¡­¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about? Speak up.¡± Valentin frowned at him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I don¡¯t know,¡± he scratched his head while looking down at the table, ¡°I apologize, I just¡­ the phonograph, it reminded me of something, I feel uneasy with that kind of¡­ coincidences¡­ piling up.¡± He gestured as if cleaning sweat from his forehead.


    ¡°And we feel unease with your babble,¡± Valentin raised his voice, the moments that his eyes crossed with the place I was standing in I could feel a bit of a cold down my back. ¡°If you are going to bring something up, say what you are talking about or don¡¯t say anything at all.¡±


    ¡°Please, we don¡¯t need another discussion right now,¡± Evelyn intervened looking back at him.


    ¡°Let him speak, I want to know what he has to say.¡±


    ¡°As annoying as Caruncle¡¯s rambles might be, your winning gets a lot more exhausting, stop.¡±


    Felicity and Percival looked back at each other as they saw the others argue, then Felicity stepped in.


    ¡°You know, Caruncle, Valentin has a point there, wouldn¡¯t you think? If there is something that keeps bothering you then maybe it would be better for you to speak up? You keep things bottled up inside and it clearly hasn¡¯t done you any good.¡±


    Evelyn didn¡¯t speak, she looked back at Caruncle, who was still looking downwards, and then she looked back at the others, Percival spoke up.


    ¡°I would agree as well, I know you don¡¯t want to hear this from me again, but I want to remind you that I would appreciate it if you decided to accept my help.¡±


    Caruncle looked back up at them, Valentin had his arms crossed, Felicity¡¯s eyes were looking at him with a sense of pity but also annoyance. Percival and Evelyn looked genuinely concerned.


    ¡°Well, I have been thinking about how to say this since some time already.¡± He looked back at the floor, but continued speaking. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure how to explain it.¡±


    ¡°Please, get to the point.¡±


    ¡°Valentin,¡± Evelyn looked back at him with a scowl.


    ¡°I just need him to get to the point, I don¡¯t have all the time in the world.¡±


    ¡°Please, quiet¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t even know how I could even explain the thing at all.¡±


    ¡°Why? What is so difficult to say?¡± Felicity asked, starting to get a bit tired of the situation.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that what happened to me hasn¡¯t happened to anyone else, there is no point of comparison, nothing I could relate it to.¡±


    ¡°Why are you going in circles? Say what happened! If something happened, say it, for fuck¡¯s sake.¡± Valentin was already rubbing his temples.


    ¡°Ha, for fuck¡¯s sake¡­¡± Caruncle gave a momentary smirk while rolling his eyes.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Caruncle if you aren¡¯t going to say anything then we would rather move up, but I still rather not hear you say that we didn¡¯t give you the chance to speak later.¡± Felicity raised her hand.


    ¡°Okay, okay, I¡¯ll talk,¡± I got close to him because I noticed he was shaking his leg. When I approached him, I could feel his heart starting to beat at a faster and faster speed. ¡°You see, there is a memory¡­ I don¡¯t know, it was like a dream.¡± The smirk on his face was gone. Caruncle looked back at them, everyone was staring at him, so he looked back down and continued.


    ¡°A dream?¡± Felicity raised her eyebrows incredulously.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if it was a dream, but when I was a little kid, I saw this mirror.¡±


    ¡°Where?¡± Felicity asked.


    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t remember where I was, really, don¡¯t ask me, but I remember that the mirror appeared as if it had this sort of¡­ liquid coating over it¡­ if you made a loud sound facing it, you would see ripples on its surface.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood for this,¡± Valentin whispered to Percival, Caruncle continued.


    ¡°I got curious and I tried to reach it, like¡­ I¡­ I extended my hand, and I felt kinda like a really cold sensation, the surface of the mirror was thick, thick and cold.¡±


    He stopped and looked back at them.


    ¡°Go on,¡± Evelyn said while holding his hand, her expression looked more concerned rather than exasperated, Caruncle lowered his head back again.


    ¡°I got scared for a moment, so I tried to pull my hand out, but I¡­ I realized I couldn¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t get it out.¡± He inhaled slowly and kept looking at his hands and his legs. He was looking for something while he tried to come up with the images on his head.


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t get it out? As in? Was the mirror hollow? Did it have something inside?¡± Felicity asked.


    ¡°Yes, like a first aid kit?¡± Percival added in.


    ¡°No, not at all.¡± He bit his lip and seconds later continued. ¡°I said it had a liquid coating over it, and when I first entered my hand, it was like putting your hand inside molasses.¡±


    ¡°Why would you put your hand inside molasses trapped in a mirror?¡± Felicity asked again.


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    ¡°I was just¨C Listen, I don¡¯t remember why I¨C¡±


    ¡°You''re scared to even go outside, and you say that you put your hand in some sort of apparition inside a mirror of all things?¡± Valentin was still the most annoyed of the group, but at that moment he just sounded confused and tired.


    ¡°Please, just let me finish.¡± He scratched his head and gestured as if cleaning sweat off his face. He didn¡¯t have any, but he was starting to feel hot. ¡°When I first entered my hand, I got scare¨C I panicked, I panicked. I don¡¯t know, really I, I mean, it was weird, it was really weird, but I remember that I tried to use my hand, my other hand, and I¡­ Well, I tried to grab my wrist, the one of the hand that was already sinking in, I wanted to use my hand to pull harder, but it didn¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°It didn¡¯t work?¡± Felicity asked one more time.


    ¡°No, it didn¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°What was worse, though, I mean, I was already super scared, but what happened next was that the mirror started to pull me even further inside.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The mirror was pulling me further inside.¡± Caruncle was getting a bit exasperated with Felicity¡¯s interruptions, he looked at her with a scowl and looked back down. ¡°And after that¡­ after that¡­ When I was pushed inside all the way into the mirror, I ended up coming out from the other side?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t sound so sure.¡± Percival scratched his head, he also started to get a bit tired and was rolling his eyes.


    ¡°I came out to the other side, and well, I came out to a place the same way as I was before, it was some sort of bathroom in a worn out house.¡±


    ¡°You said you didn¡¯t know where you were.¡± Felicity added again.


    ¡°Yes, I don¡¯t know where that place was, I only remember it was some weird bathroom.¡±


    ¡°How did the walls look? Any windows? What material they had?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ they were green.¡±


    ¡°Green?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but that wasn¡¯t what was scariest about it.¡±


    ¡°I mean I don¡¯t think you should be scared by green bathroom walls.¡± Felicity cackled and the others followed. Caruncle just scowled at Felicity before looking away in another direction away from the table.


    ¡°Alright, what was scarier than those spooky bathroom walls?


    ¡°Well, it was that¨C that¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡­?¡±


    ¡°That everything was¡­ I don¡¯t know, it was mirrored.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Like¡­ it was all mirrored, the door that was at my left was now at my right, the tarnished windows, they were all in the opposite place where they were. The bathtub, everything.¡± Finally, he turned his head back at them with a concerned expression.


    ¡°And then, what happened next?¡± Percival asked.


    ¡°Yes, did you wake up?¡± Valentin added with a bitter smile.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I did, because ever since¡­ ever since¡­ everything looks like it has been mirrored for me.¡±


    ¡°Sounds like it must have been hard for you to read.¡± Valentin said and then he and the rest of the table laughed along, Caruncle looked at them with an empty expression on his face.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s what happened, I don¡¯t know if it was a dream or not.¡± He looked to his left away from them when he said it, but then looked back at Evelyn and then the rest of the table.¡±Everything looks weird to me, it¡¯s all different, but at the same time, it¡¯s so similar, it is so uncanny, and I hate it, it has been years ever since I remember that thing, and it¡¯s still weird, I hate it, and I can¡¯t leave, I can¡¯t¡­ leave this place.¡± He lowered his head one more time and clenched his fist, while nobody else could see it. I was able to notice he was trying to hold back his tears.


    ¡°Years? How many years?¡± Valentin tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.


    ¡°Perhaps he means¡­ 8 years?¡± Percival added.


    ¡°Why? What happened 8 years ago?¡± Felicity buttered in.


    ¡°That¡¯s when Caruncle fell into an old well while we were running through the forest.¡±


    ¡°What? Pft, ha ha ha!¡± Felicity started to cackle loudly. ¡°How do you even fall into a well? That¡¯s absurd!¡±


    ¡°He got a really bad fever and had to stay in bed since he broke his left arm,¡± Valentin smirked towards Felicity. ¡°Ever since then he has always been acting like a lunatic, perhaps he broke his brain too.¡±


    Felicity kept laughing while Evelyn tried to hold her laughter. Caruncle was silently scowling back at them. If I peeked into his head, I could see the event replayed over and over in his mind.


    ¡°No¡­ no¡­ no, please, no¡­¡±


    When I found him he was crying at the bottom of a well. I was wandering around town looking for someone to observe, when I heard him crying from afar. I looked at the well and I saw him trying to punch at the walls. Caruncle was only 14, since he had a short height, he was covered up to his chest of all the dirty water from the well, he was bleeding out.


    ¡°Uh, you will have to wait for a bit, it¡¯s going to take a while we take you out.¡± Percival said to him from above and left looking for some rope and someone to help. I went to the bottom of the well and looked at him more detailedly. The guy looked hysterical, he could barely breathe and he was about to hyperventilate, if he let himself go, he would probably drown. This was weird for me, though, I had seen him fall into that same well at that same time before, but the previous time, he hadn¡¯t really started to cry. I looked into his thoughts and what I saw actually surprised me, so even without any possible incentive from me, I decided to follow him, just because I was bored out of my mind.


    While anything I wrote wouldn¡¯t ever be read by anyone ever again and my only job had been taken away from me, looking at the poor man¡¯s thoughts gave me some sort of past time, if Jazmin had left that poor man to his own luck, at least I could watch over him and give me some company.


    ¡°Caruncle, have you seriously not considered that perhaps you just dreamt it? You spent several days murmuring, you looked like you really had bad sleep.¡±


    ¡°He has really left that dream affecting his head,¡± Valentin snickered while looking towards Percival and Felicity. He saw Evelyn scowl at his remark, but he looked away.


    ¡°No, you know what has really affected me recently?¡± Caruncle let a small grin show on his face.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Oh you know, just a couple of books I have been reading.¡±


    ¡°Yes? Like what?


    ¡°The Randolph Suchet chronicles,¡± Caruncle said while looking directly at his eyes, Valentin on the other hand had his smirk completely erased from his face, he was now scowling back at him. ¡°What do you think, Valentin? They are such interesting books, and there is something really¡­ interesting¡­ about them, have you ever heard about them before?¡±


    ¡°What are the Randophl Suchet chronicles?¡± Felicity asked.


    ¡°Those are the satire novels that have been circling around Lucinians,¡± Evelyn answered her, ¡°they have been outlawed since they talk badly of Basilians. Their publication has gotten a bit troublesome to handle, or so they say, there are less and less people in disposition to sell them, they have been harder to get because of the current investigation against the writers of these books.¡±


    ¡°Right, and why are you reading such a thing if I may ask?¡± Felicity turned towards Caruncle.


    ¡°Oh, I haven¡¯t read them so much really, but I have heard about them, and they are just interesting to think about. It is said the empire ordered the execution of the writer, and a rebellion might explode any time soon. What do you think, Valentin?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you want me to say about those books, I personally haven¡¯t seen them, but if you are saying you are starting to get infatuated with them, I''d rather tell our father.¡±


    ¡°Really? So¨C¡±


    ¡°And I think you are messed up in the head,¡± He finally stood up and left the table they were all speaking together. ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I thought.¡± I saw a little tick in Caruncle¡¯s right eye, he scratched his cheek and smiled at his brother.


    ¡°Valentin, please, wait,¡± Percival took him by the arm and brought him back to his seat. ¡°Let¡¯s just take our time, little by little, okay?¡±


    ¡°I''d rather be careful around that guy, Evelyn, you don¡¯t know what he might come up with.¡±


    ¡°What? What did he say?¡± Evelyn asked Valentin


    ¡°Nothing, he¡¯s just an idiot,¡± Caruncle answered. Instead, he started to eat his nails but Evelyn took his hand to stop him.


    ¡°Is there something about Valentin we don¡¯t know about?¡± Felicity added, Valentin crossed his arms and growled.


    ¡°I just wanted to scare him, I know he has never liked those kinds of books.¡±


    ¡°Do you expect to achieve anything telling him you were reading books about rebellion?¡± Percival looked directly at him.


    ¡°Yes, because I know what he is afraid of.¡±


    ¡°Alright, and what would that be?¡±


    ¡°As I said, I feel there might be a rebellion coming up soon, and I know he is afraid that it might actually happen.¡±


    ¡°You ¡®feel¡¯ that there is a rebellion coming? What exactly has made you think of that?¡± Felicity buttered in again.


    ¡°I just felt it.¡±


    ¡°You felt it.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I don¡¯t know if you have seen the air around the town has felt somewhat weird.¡±


    ¡°I feel there is something else you aren¡¯t telling us, Caruncle,¡± Percival added.


    ¡°I¡­ I well¡­ I can¡¯t tell you right now.¡± He looked at his brother back again but this time with a frown rather than a smile, Valentin was still frozen on his seat.


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°I mean, I could always tell you¡­ but¡­¡± I was looking into his thoughts, I knew what he was thinking, he wanted to see what would happen if he said the truth, he wanted to tell someone that was close to him, anyone, but there was something in the back of his mind that was telling him not to do it, he wanted to feel safe¡­ ¡±Well, I¡¯m not sure, it was probably just a dream, as all of you already said.¡±


    ¡°What was it?¡±


    ¡°My memory of the mirror.¡±


    ¡°Did you see something across the mirror?" Is that how you ¡®know¡¯ that he would react that way?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± He looked around the table to see the faces of the others, everyone was now looking more seriously at him. ¡°On the other side of the mirror you end up learning a lot of things.¡±


    ¡°No, but wait, I wanted to know the actual reason, seriously.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m serious.¡±


    For a moment Percival didn¡¯t answer back, he scratched his head and looked at Evelyn and then back at him.


    ¡°If I¡¯m honest with you, I¡¯m not sure what you are trying to achieve with this.¡±


    ¡°I remember a man called Logan in the hallway past the mirror,¡± Caruncle stared at him for a long while, Percival didn¡¯t answer back but held his stare towards him in the same direction.


    ¡°Caruncle?¡± Evelyn shaked his arm to grab his attention.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°If there is something that you know, right now, you should tell us about it.¡±


    Caruncle was scowling while looking down at the table. Noticing nobody had continued the conversation after he remained silent, he decided to finally speak.


    ¡°First, I feel we should move to Leyva, Salento, or any other country close here before we can.¡±


    ¡°For what purpose? Leyva is also occupied by the Dominion now, if you are talking about a rebellion, things might also turn ugly if we go there,¡± Percival intervened.


    ¡°Salento is also out of the question, you know where I come from,¡± Evelyn added while rubbing her temples.


    ¡°I say that if you feel there is a civil war coming, we should stay and defend our place,¡± Percival added back.


    The both of them looked back at Caruncle while Felicity and Valentin stayed silent.


    ¡°...¡±


    ¡°Caruncle?¡±


    ¡°What even for?¡± He said.


    ¡°What? What do you mean?¡± Evelyn asked.


    ¡°Why would you even stay?¡±


    ¡°You are pathetic,¡± Valentin finally said. ¡°You might want to play games, but I don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not playing any games.¡±


    ¡°Say what you know.¡±


    ¡°What? So are you telling me you haven¡¯t noticed?¡±


    ¡°Noticed what?¡±


    ¡°This morning, you saw our father talking with someone, did you see who that was?¡±


    I looked into Valentin¡¯ thoughts. He had seen their father with a person with a brown and worn out cloak when they were leaving for college. In the morning it had been raining and it had been difficult to see, but he remembered seeing him looking quite distressed.


    ¡°You know what he¡¯s up to, is that right? Is that where you are going with this? I would prefer it if you didn¡¯t spoon feed me that kind of information.¡±


    The rest of the table looked already quite bored with the conversation, me and the rest were already ready to leave.


    ¡°Well, I know he has acted strange lately¡­¡±


    ¡°No, no, if you keep doing this, I¡¯m going to stop you right now, right away. You know something, you know something if you are not telling me, you aren¡¯t telling anyone, you have been strange yourself since way too long and if there is someone I rather suspect, it''s you, Caruncle! You!¡± Valentin stood up as he yelled at him. Felicity stood up slowly afterwards looking around to see if any people were looking at them, but the dining hall was already empty aside from them. Percival and Evelyn stayed in their seats, Caruncle was silent again for a while.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to talk with me, suit yourself, but if you want me to talk, you''d rather give me a reason, if I tell you what I know, you would have to help me in exchange.¡±


    ¡°Help you out? Help you out? What do you even need help with for fuck¡¯s sake? Aren¡¯t we family? Isn¡¯t that enough? Do you really need a reason to tell your family? You know something and yet you refuse to speak. You make demands and you ask us¡­ what? You never even said you wanted anything, see what I¡¯m talking about? You keep going around in circles, how do you expect things to even happen that way?¡±


    ¡°... Because I feel that if I tell you, you will stop seeing me as family at all. No, I know you will.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t even have the slightest idea of what that could even be, and I¡¯m not playing this charade any longer.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    They stared at each other for a while. Percival stood up and Evelyn made a little clap with her hands. ¡°Okay, so, for us it is time to leave . By now, I feel it would be convenient if we continue this afterwards, in a more private location, would that be alright with everyone?¡±


    No one said anything, Evelyn stood up and took Caruncle by the arm trying to make him stand up. ¡°I would agree, would it be alright if we talk together at your residence, Percival? Your place is usually alone and we could stay if the conversation goes for longer than midnight. Sounds alright?¡±


    ¡°Oh, well¡­¡± Percival looked at the ceiling and thought about it for a moment. I used to look at his thoughts some time ago, but I had lost interest in what he kept inside his mind. ¡°Yes, I suppose that would be alright.¡±


    ¡°Very well, will you too agree to come and finish the matter at night?¡± She asked both brothers, but neither answered.


    ¡°I¡¯m not really in the mood for games.¡±


    ¡°What I am talking about is a serious matter.¡±


    Valentin turned around and walked out of the dinning hall. ¡°You better talk tonight.¡± He murmured the last bit while walking again, leaving behind the other group of four. They said goodbye and headed to their classrooms. I didn¡¯t bother to follow them afterwards.

 3. The Confession

    In the evening, though, I went back and decided to look back at Caruncle. He was lying with Evelyn on her bed. Evelyn was trying to sleep but Caruncle tried to get close to her and kissed her on the neck a couple of times, going upwards towards her mouth. Yes, it was actually really awkward. You see, truth to be told, Caruncle was a hateable man, the more you looked at him the more you would feel your insides boil, he was a shell of a man, and I liked to see him fail.


    I looked a little bit around the bedroom, it was a big room with wooden walls and floors, there was nothing really of my interest for me to describe, really, but I could tell the air in the room was also hard to breathe in, more than the one in the dining hall even so, considering the room didn¡¯t have any windows of any sort, the air felt stagnant and smells would accumulate inside. When I got closer to Caruncle, I could feel his respiration becoming uneasy and laborious.


    ¡°Wait, stop, stop!¡± Evelyn woke up and pushed him aside. ¡°I told you to not kiss me like that unprompted, please.¡± She talked weirdly too at times, but unlike with Caruncle, she didn¡¯t make me hate her at all.


    ¡°Uh, you told me to wake you up around 9, we are going to Percival¡¯s home, remember?¡±


    ¡°Yes but¡­¡± Evelyn slowly sat down at the edge of the bed, looking away from Caruncle, ¡°don¡¯t wake me up like that, I really don¡¯t like it. Seriously.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you expect me to do at this point,¡± Caruncle sat at the edge on the other side of the bed.


    ¡°What? Are you doing it because you are supposed to?¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°Look, nevermind,¡± she rolled her eyes.


    ¡°See? And people say I¡¯m the one that plays games.¡±


    ¡°What are you gonna tell your brother?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Your brother, Valentin, you said that you had something serious to tell him, will you even let me know what it is before we go to Percival¡¯s house?¡±


    ¡°... I can¡¯t.¡± Here, right here, see? This is where the Caruncle specimen did his retreat, gather around folks, this is where you can start and see all his patheticness in full vivid detail.


    ¡°Why?¡± She raised her eyes, her pained expression was already starting to make me feel sorry for her.


    ¡°Please, I just¡­ I¡­ you know how I am, right? I only have so much strength, and I need to save it for when I say it just this once, please¡­ don¡¯t ask me more of what I can already give.¡±


    For a moment Evelyn turned her head around to see if she was able to catch his expression, his tone of voice sounded defeated most of the time, but at that moment what he said sounded more like an order than a proper lament.


    ¡°Maybe you can tell me now, and I will tell the others.¡±


    ¡°That won¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Well, why do you not like me when I kiss you?¡±


    ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡±


    ¡°It has something to do with it, I feel. Maybe everything, actually.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Do you really love me?¡± This part I have never understood, she sounded serious to me when I first heard it, but going back to it, I just can think she was being sarcastic.


    ¡°I think you are beautiful, you are¡­ a wonderful woman, and if I could be close to you for the rest of my life, maybe I could feel somewhat complete even if nothing else changes for me.¡± Pathetic, he was pathetic, that¡¯s all what he was.


    ¡°Somewhat complete?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean by that?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel complete.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°Tell me, why do you dislike it when I kiss you? When I hug you? When you ask me to give you space?¡±


    ¡°We have already talked about this, I didn¡¯t ask for this, I don¡¯t approve of arranged marriages, this is not the way we did things, back in Salento.¡±


    ¡°Remember when you told your father that you would try and warm up to me given the circumstances? That never really happened.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡±


    ¡°If you want to leave me for someone else, go ahead..¡±


    ¡°Listen, Caruncle.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡± That mopey expression, that mopey expression in his eyes, I hated it so much. You just don¡¯t know how much I would pay to let you see that stupid expression he made of sadness, it was everything bad that existed with the human being, all broken and unrepairable fault you could imagine, I always tried to punch him, but my hand would always pass through.


    ¡°Why do you always look like it hurts you to touch me? Why when we spend the night together, you make that face of pure disgust towards me? Why do I have to ask you to simply pay attention to me and you only approach me when I''m not paying attention to you?¡± Okay, maybe I did hate both a little bit.


    ¡°I said I wouldn¡¯t kiss you again when you are asleep.¡±


    ¡°You know pretty well this isn¡¯t about that.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°So, can you tell me why? Why do you always look so afraid of me? Why do you always look so uncomfortable when I¡¯m looking at you?¡±


    No one said anything. For a moment, I could only hear the tick of the clock in the room. That clock was a good friend, he didn¡¯t complain, cry, or make sarcastic remarks, it only did its job as it should.


    ¡°Can I ask you something first?¡± This was Caruncle, if you feel you hate the speaker, it''s because it''s Caruncle, and always Caruncle.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Do you find me unpleasant?¡±


    ¡°Unpleasant?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Is this because our relationship was prearranged?¡±


    ¡°No, this is about me.¡±


    ¡°I think you are a good guy, Caruncle, but there is something clearly going on with your head.¡±


    ¡°Do you know what it is?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I feel that if I asked you, you wouldn¡¯t tell me, but I can see that you want to run away.¡±


    ¡°I find myself unpleasant, really unpleasant.¡±


    ¡°Is this what it is about? You don¡¯t like yourself at all?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­ no, that would be one thing, but I see you are always desperate, desperate either because of me, because¨C¡±


    ¡°You know it is not because of you.¡±


    ¡°Please, let me finish. You are desperate, either because of me, because of some revolution going on inside your head, because of your father, because of anything, but you refuse to talk about it, you refuse to talk about it and it is eating you inside. If you don¡¯t want to talk about it, that is your choice, but I can¡¯t let it consume me too.¡±


    Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Now this, this was the good stuff.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t have loved you the way that I should have. You deserve someone better than me.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle, please¡­ we are still young, okay? And there is still time for you to change, step by step. I will be here, I just need you to talk with me.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go to Percival¡¯s house, we don¡¯t really want to be late.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡±


    ¡°I need to get my mind out of this matter first. Maybe afterwards it will make things a bit clearer to you.¡±


    Thankfully they finally both started to get dressed. Occasions like that were starting to tire me out, I was able to remember all the times he felt straight tired with himself, I would get tired myself and abandon him because all he would do is cry, cry. I would eventually come back out of morbid curiosity, but I would get sick of hearing him whine about his punishment, when mine was a lot lot worse.


    The both of them walked out of Evelyn¡¯s home, Caruncle was holding the woman¡¯s arm but his walk was stiff and his mannerisms awkward. They got outside and looked towards the full moon looking over them that night.


    For a moment, Evelyn thought that maybe in another life, she would have liked to see and explore the night sky, leave the planet, and never look back the rest of her life. Caruncle on the other hand looked at the whole street and couldn¡¯t shake the feeling of unfamiliarity with his surroundings. The gas lights, the carriages, the road built out of seemingly flat but rough stone cravings  joined together with cement that wore out the carriages, everything looked so worn out, so dirty, and the streets smelled terrible.


    They didn¡¯t say a word to each other outside, each one of them deep inside their own little world. Finally after a couple of minutes their carriage arrived and they got inside.


    ¡°What were you thinking about?¡± Evelyn tried to start a conversation, she didn¡¯t want the trip to Percival¡¯s home any more awkward than what it should be.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Just now, before the carriage came over.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that.¡±


    ¡°Yes, tell me.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡± Come on Caruncle, say it, say what you will have been waiting to say all this time, it¡¯s not like its going to make any fucking difference. ¡°I was thinking that no matter how long it has been, I still haven¡¯t gotten used to this place.¡± A terrible half compromise.


    ¡°What place? The city?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ you could say so, I guess.¡±


    Evelyn looked out of the window, she was waiting to see the moon once again, but she couldn¡¯t find it at all from her side of the road. I looked at the velvet furnishing of the carriage, my only and good companionship while that dumb trip was over.


    ¡°Did you ever get lost in the city when you were a kid?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I don¡¯t remember.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t remember?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember that much of my childhood.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    After half an hour they reached Percival¡¯s home. When Caruncle got out of the carriage and saw the old house it gave him the sensation that the whole building was about to fall over at any second, he just didn¡¯t know he was actually thinking about his life.


    They announced themselves and were received by Percival or something along those lines. Pleasantries have never been my interest, but I remember clearly how the dark hallway at the entrance felt more and more suffocating for Caruncle with every step he took. The only light at that moment was from Percival¡¯s candle. All the way through, Caruncle kept thinking to run away, but his feet didn¡¯t obey him. I chuckled when I saw him realise the hallway was over and everyone else had already arrived. He didn¡¯t say anything and sat down on one of the chairs closer to the fireplace.


    ¡°I hope that you are doing alright right now, Caruncle,¡± Percival said from behind while he placed the candlestick on the wall. His tone was warm but Caruncle felt a chill down his spine when he heard it.


    ¡°Why are you here tonight?¡± Caruncle asked Felicity.


    ¡°Evelyn had asked me to come,¡± Felicity said while crossing her legs under her big puffy dress. And yes, yes, I know. It has indeed come to my mind that I should rather describe these other people, but at this very moment, I do not feel like this is necessary, I feel I rather imagine them the way I remember them, maybe you could do the same, you will never see how they look like, I can¡¯t show them to you either, but maybe you and me both can come up with an image that satisfies us both.I have been a historian all my life, I have documented every single detail and bit of what I have seen and experienced but now I¡¯m longer a historian and keeping the past intact when nobody will be around to hear about it doesn¡¯t appeal to me anymore.


    For Felicity I¡¯m seeing a rather yellow, big puffy dress, with black, leather boots. Her hair was so big and puffy it was brown and bright, cut in a beehive style. She had big eyes and a mocking expression most of the time, I still liked her freckles, though, all things considered.


    ¡°I thought she could hear what you have to say if that is okay with you,¡± Evelyn answered him while she sat down at his side. She, I could certainly describe, but I will limit myself to say that she was very beautiful, her hair was really short, but it has a pretty auburn colour. She was also taller for the average woman, even surpassing Caruncle himself who was a measly 160 cm tall, while she was 170 cm tall, I think, not that I was measuring them with any tape or whatever. That night she was wearing a velvet dress, and while she was wearing a corset, this one didn¡¯t necessarily hide all her own figure, which on its own stood up already very nicely, but I am letting myself go. Point is, she looked really pretty.


    Stolen story; please report.


    ¡°Suit yourselves,¡± Caruncle scratched his head. I know you might be wondering how he actually looked too and well¡­ I mean, he just liked like any other guy, he was a normal, very normal looking man, his skin was pale, his hair was cut in a nondescript short style, his hair was brown, his eyes were brown, his face was¡­ his face was oval shaped, a bit, he had a strong jaw and a big nose as well, so to say. That was his face since he came here, really, but he was the most nondescript man you could ever think of, he blended with everyone around him because it was even barely possible to remember his face at all. He was now dressed with a starched white shirt, a waistcoat, his trousers and a sack coat, all in a very pale and worn out black colour. He was also wearing some lace up shoes, and nothing else, no hat, since it made him feel too hot, and that¡¯s about it, no hats, no neckwear, no accessories or anything of the sort.


    ¡°We were hoping you would get to the point sooner rather than later, Caruncle, if that¡¯s okay with you, we feel like it might make things a little bit faster.¡± Percival was¡­ well, I¡¯m not really interested in describing Percival, or Valentin, for that matter. Thing is that, while I don¡¯t remember well anymore, I had become a historian to please Jazmin back when we had met. I was in love with her, not with history. I don¡¯t feel sad by being unable to document things over, I just feel rather¡­ empty.


    Caruncle looked at Valentin, he hadn¡¯t said anything since he arrived and was only looking at him while holding his jaw with his hand.


    ¡°You want me to talk, you think that I can help you out, but I don¡¯t think I can help, on the other hand, I don¡¯t think you can help me either way, so I¡¯m just going to say what I came to say so at least we can leave things clear.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle, excuse me if I¡¯m interrupting again, but you still haven¡¯t told us what we would need help with,¡± Felicity raised her hand while smirking at him.


    ¡°You want to know what I know, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes, we do,¡± She answered.


    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t tell you what I know, because I know you won¡¯t help me if I do.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle, if I might be so bold, would you mind if I make an observation about this whole matter?¡±


    ¡°Go ahead.¡±


    ¡°It seems we are just going in circles, you tell us that you know something that would benefit us to know, you tell us that you can''t say what you know, and you say that if you tell us, you are going to need our help. Regardless of the fact that if this thing you know would actually help us or not, it is clear you need us for something, is that right? If we agree to help you out, then you might tell us what you feel would help us to be aware of, is that correct?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ uh, yes.¡±


    ¡°In that case, let¡¯s start from there, shall we?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like I can really say it,¡± his voice was quivering. I looked down and I could see him shake his leg over and over as he spoke.


    ¡°I know you have mentioned the why, but at this point I must insist you to please say it and go on. It is the only way for us to move forward or at least it is right now I¡¯m afraid.¡±


    ¡°It won¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°Just say it,¡± Valentin finally raised his voice, the rest of the room stayed silent.


    Caruncle scratched his forehead again and he looked at the fireplace, it looked ever so threatening. The more time passed with him looking at it the more it felt for him that the fire inside would completely consume him. His heart was going so fast he felt it could go out of his ribcage at any second now.


    ¡°I want to be a woman,¡± he looked down when he said it, he didn¡¯t want to face anyone in the room. While the ridiculousness of his words made me feel second hand embarrassment, I did appreciate his bluntness this time around.


    ¡°...¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Valentin tilted his head, his voice was barely audible.


    ¡°I want to be a woman, that¡¯s what I said.¡±


    ¡°Pfft¡­ hahaha! He is messing with us again!¡± Felicity started cackling on her own.


    ¡°Felicity, please, can you wait for a moment to see if we can understand well what he said? Caruncle, what do you mean? I just don¡¯t think we heard you properly and¨C¡± Percival asked meekly, Caruncle turned around to face him.


    ¡°I meant what I meant, I want to be just like Evelyn, like Felicity, like your mother or mine, that¡¯s what I mean, isn¡¯t that clear eno¨C¡± Caruncle got cut off by Valentin.


    ¡°This is ridiculous,¡± Valentin scoffed, scratching his head, he rolled his eyes and he just sounded tired. "What are you even talking about?"


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to hear me out you can leave right now.¡±


    ¡°You said that you would tell us something really serious, and is this what you decide to waste our time with? Is this your grand revelation?¡± Valentin started to tap his foot impatiently.


    ¡°I told you what I needed,¡± Caruncle looked like he was about to cry, but tried to hold up.


    ¡°You just told us you are hysterical.¡± Valentine frowned, but I noticed he was also clenching his jaw. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure that the only thing a doctor would prescribe you is a knife through your balls, and maybe a hammer going through your own head.¡±


    ¡°Oh really? I didn¡¯t know you were such a doctor, are you going to include stuff like that in your next novel?¡± At the words of Caruncle, Valentin stood up with a clenched fist, I was hoping he would finally hit him. Yes, I know he looks bad right now, he surely had seen better days, but I liked to think that his goals were actually very sound.


    ¡°Please Valentin, let¡¯s all sit down and talk like civilised people.¡± Percival tried to calm Valentin down but he was barely listening, he had his eyes stuck on Caruncle, who on his own end looked like he was stuck to the chair. Evelyn forced Valentin to sit back on one of the chairs and he was now crossing his arms while sitting in a chair further away from him. ¡°Can you tell us more about what you are talking about? When you say you want to be a woman, what does that entail?¡±


    ¡°A physical change.¡±


    ¡°Okay, do you know how you envision this physical change to be?¡±


    ¡°Well, I know what I want it to look like,¡± he started eating his nails again.


    ¡°Please, let¡¯s just stop right here,¡± Valentin asked, ¡°it¡¯s clear he is just feeble minded since he got hit in the head.¡±


    ¡°Of all the things you could have said, Caruncle¡± Evelyn was scratching both of her eyes with her right hand, ¡°I would have never expected you to say something like that. You might as well have said you wanted to be a frog.¡±


    ¡°Ha, or a pig, so he can stay all day wallowing as he always does,¡± Felicity snickered.


    ¡°That sounds more like you than me,¡± Caruncle scowled at her, she just chuckled.


    ¡°Wait, Caruncle, everyone, I feel we started on the wrong foot,¡± Percival was the only one standing up from the group. He looked worried, as if he feared Valentin would start to attack Caruncle again, but he somewhat managed to sound calm. ¡°We have known each other for quite awhile, haven¡¯t we? I feel that you have always been, well, if you allow me the impertinence, unsure about your own qualities, I feel that perhaps you might be, I don¡¯t know, looking for a reason, something to help you find a way to escape those doubts you have about yourself, maybe you are saying, if I was something else, if I didn''t have that many responsibilities or if I was in a place that not so much was expected about me, I would be able to hold up, but if I am being honest, I feel you only need to look within your own self to try and find that answer you are looking for, instead of wishing you were something you really aren¡¯t.¡±


    Caruncle looked at Percival without saying a word. He was doing one of those long pauses that made me insane. Anything could happen in those precious seconds and he forced them to extend even further.


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t be more wrong,¡± he finally spoke, his eyes looked empty and his voice came as barely more than a whisper.


    ¡°Also, I must remind you that Divinity wouldn¡¯t approve of thoughts like this, Caruncle.¡±


    Caruncle looked at the little statue of a naked, buff man with curls sitting on a rock, it was quite the nifty little statue, I liked the passion that the man looked like he was in and to me, he was quite a refreshing symbol of worship compared to what I had seen in other civilizations in this world. And yes, there wasn¡¯t a trace of Jazmin in the minds of the people anywhere at all, it had been like that for a while.


    ¡°Your God''s judgement holds no sway over my convictions, Percival,¡± he spitted on the floor, Felicity gasped and Evelyn yelled at him, Percival frowned at him, Valentin just chuckled.


    ¡°Okay but,¡± Percival felt he was starting to lose the thread of the whole conversation, that spit had made him upset, ¡°as Valentin mentioned before, have you considered the possibility that your feelings stem from a sort of... nervous affliction?¡± He scratched his head, he was exhaling air from his nose slowly while he looked at the spit in the carpet. ¡°Physicians have documented cases of ''hysteria'' in women, driven by their delicate constitution. It''s not entirely inconceivable that a man might suffer from a similar disturbance of the nerves.¡±


    ¡°We adhere to the natural order as divinity intended because that is what gives us order,¡± Felicity added. ¡°Men have their place, and women theirs. To blur these lines wouldn¡¯t make him any happier, and you know it.¡±


    ¡°I understand, but I still want to be one.¡±


    ¡°A what?¡± Valentine asked with that sarcastic tone.


    ¡°A wo¡­man.¡± With the words already out, he was barely able to repeat them one more time. I knew that he felt it, he felt it, he felt how embarrassing it was to say.


    ¡°Caruncle, you know what I went through, right? Do you remember when my family moved here?¡± Evelyn asked.


    ¡°Yes, remember it well.¡±


    ¡°So why are you saying all this? If you were a woman, you would have to follow the same path. My studies? They are being paid by your family, I wasn¡¯t even able to choose my own profession, do you know why? Because everything I do, has to involve you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m well aware.¡±


    ¡°You¡­ you remember why we are together, right? It¡¯s not because we love each other,¡± she was cleaning the tears from her eyes, unable to look at him any longer.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to blame yourself.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Felicity frowned at him.


    ¡°What?¡± He turned his eyes towards her but he barely moved, it was a bit eerie. It was at those times that while I got curious to see what was going through his mind, but my body wouldn¡¯t move towards him to touch him, I stayed far away from him, a bit dopey to the fact that even after death I had to deal with human reflexes. Rather than making me feel more alive, they made me feel more trapped.


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t care about you, don¡¯t you have anything else to say?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t put words in my mouth, Felicity,¡± Evelyn said without looking at her.


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t love me, but I do,¡± he looked downwards, unable to keep up with Felicity¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°Really, even as a faggot?¡± Valentin interjected, nobody looked at him or tried to answer.


    ¡°I feel this might deserve a talk on its own, but in the meantime we should go back to the topic at hand,¡± Percival added, ¡°you say that you want to be a woman, does that mean that you¡­ want to be married to a man?¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t see myself with a man.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t stop the act now¡± Valentin interjected, the others turned around to him ¡°you barely touch your fiance, you want to escape your duties as a man, what else would you want to dress in drag for if not to be the toy of another man?¡±


    ¡°That would be immoral,¡± Felicity whispered.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be in drag, I want to be a woman.¡±


    ¡°And what are you supposed to do if you don''t find a suitor?¡± Percival raised an eyebrow, sometimes he made me uneasy with how ¡°nice¡± he was, not seeing what made someone angry made me feel that they had something to hide. Now, I know, I know I could just look inside of him, it was a question that had its answer at not more than a few metres, but here is the thing, the more I looked into the minds of other humans I felt that I lost something of my own self, so I decided to let my curiosity go for the time being, I already had my toy to laugh at, I didn¡¯t need to be so nosy all the time.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°You need to learn your own place,¡± Felicity said while crossing her arms ¡°your job is to provide, that isn¡¯t something you can¡¯t avoid.¡±


    ¡°I still want to be a woman.¡±


    ¡°You just can¡¯t escape your own responsibility,¡± Valentin was still tapping his foot, he was crossing his arms while scratching them with his own nails as hard as he could. ¡°you can¡¯t choose an easier life simply because you are disappointed in yourself, you will end up burning the reputation of our family right to the ground as everyone hears we have a deviant among us.¡±


    "Escape? Do you think I would choose something like this? Do you think this is easy?¡±


    ¡°You are mentally ill,¡± Valentin stood up and crossed his arms. ¡°Living with someone who is this hysterical is not something I want to be a part of. I would rather have you cured, or exorcised.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not hysterical¡­¡±


    ¡°You still have a penis, how do you think you are going to change that?¡± The rest of the people in the room gasped at the mention of the thing, as if it was something so improper and even immoral, Felicity though? She just chuckled, she was my girl in all the middle of the commotion she knew that it was just a stupid thing to get surprised about, the whole question was even kinda stupid, but well, who gives. I feel that in another life the two of us would be the best of friends.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡± Caruncle gave an empty gaze at his hands, ¡°not here, it isn¡¯t possible here.¡±


    ¡°Is not possible here or anywhere,¡± Felicity added back in ¡°the most you could do is take off your balls and even then, you wouldn¡¯t be a woman, because you are not.¡±


    I had noticed that Evelyn hadn¡¯t said anything in a long while. Her silence exasperated me sometimes. I looked at her and she just had that mopey expression in her eyes. I wanted to tell her to face it, to accept that her man was a twat.


    ¡°Do you understand what the life of a woman is?¡± She finally spoke, she looked angry.


    ¡°I understand.¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think you do, because if you did, you wouldn¡¯t be wishing for something like that.¡± I still found it funny how they would get so angry at something that was rather impossible to achieve, why were they angry at the fact that the looney man wanted to get to Mars on foot? Maybe they all were looney themselves, too.


    ¡°I would accept any sort of pain in the world, as long as I could live as a woman.¡± He turned toward her, he frowned trying to appear serious, but his eyes looked sad.


    ¡°But why? Why do you want to be a woman?¡±


    ¡°I just want to.¡±


    ¡°If you were a woman, you wouldn¡¯t be just vulnerable, but also weaker,¡± Percival said, scratching his forehead.


    ¡°I am fine with that,¡± Caruncle said while caressing his hands, ¡°maybe who I am inside isn¡¯t someone that isn¡¯t strong.¡±


    ¡°You sound like one of those flamboyant homosexuals,¡± Valentin chuckled while shaking his head, his heart beating faster and faster everytime he spoke. ¡°Really, it¡¯s all just so queer of you, would you like me to bring you a skirt? Huh? Would you put it on and try it? Like a pretty little girl?¡±


    ¡°What if I donned a skirt? Afraid you will get infected?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry for you, Evelyn,¡± Felicity patted her on the shoulder while Felicity tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, "Caruncle, you subject your lady to humiliation and I suggest you stop.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to humiliate anybody, I¡¯m just saying what I am feeling.¡±


    ¡°But, I still don¡¯t understand,¡± Felicity added ¡°why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you why,¡± Felicity snapped her fingers ¡°because, sadly, your fiance right here is a pervert, he¡¯s has completely lost his sense of reason and now he¡¯s just following his perversions.¡± I¡¯m not sure why, but while I was agreeing with Felicity most of the conversation, what she said right here made me rather angry.


    ¡°I always wondered what was wrong with you, but now that you told us, it makes perfect sense,¡± Valentin got closer and closer to him, ¡°I bet you take your woman¡¯s clothes and wear them in secret, sniffing them, getting a boner just at the thought of wearing them,¡± he smiled and slapped him in the cheek, I didn¡¯t smile this time.


    ¡°Valentin, I must ask you to not do this at my own home,¡± Percival finally raised his voice.


    ¡°You will have to forgive me, but I need to bring some sense into my brother right now,¡± he frowned and punched him in the stomach. Caruncle fell on his knees towards the floor while gasping for air. Percival and Felicity stood up but didn¡¯t move towards them, they looked at each other and then back to Valentin and Caruncle, Evelyn had tears on her eyes and was clenching her fists, this time she didn¡¯t say anything. This wasn¡¯t even funny anymore, this was just¡­ boring, it was boring that¡¯s what it all was. Hopefully the candles would end up making the curtains catch fire so maybe the house would fall over them.


    ¡°You will stop talking nonsense,¡± Valentin crouched towards Caruncle and spoke close to his ear, ¡°this feeling of yours threatens more than just societal disdain. It beckons scandal and disgrace, do you understand?¡±


    ¡°Being a man has to be the grossest thing I ever had to experience,¡± Caruncle started sobbing, I rolled my eyes in exasperation. ¡°I told you that you couldn¡¯t help me, but don¡¯t make things worse than what they already are.¡±


    Okay, maybe he just needed another beating.


    ¡°Oh? Help? Do you want help? Then I will help you become a man. I knew something had gone wrong when you started to grow hair in your scrotum because since you started growing up you have been stuck with that creepy face ever since.¡± Valentin sounded tired, he was tired like me of Caruncle¡¯s goofy occurrences and words just like I was, everyone eventually gets fed up with the jester, you know, but Valentine¡¯s words were now tiring me out even more, maybe I should just have gone somewhere else for the night, it was clear things weren¡¯t really going to pick up any time soon, I saw outside the window and I was able to see a couple of months trying to enter the home, they were really beautiful moths.


    ¡°I have felt this way since I have a memory,¡± it was almost impossible to understand him now. Between his tears, I thought about leaving once again, but seeing him suffer was becoming entertaining in his own way. Alright, maybe I could stay for a little longer.


    ¡°Ridiculous,¡± Felicity shaked her head.


    ¡°Have you told our mother about this?¡± For a moment Valentin looked panicked.


    ¡°No, I haven¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°People,¡± Percival tried to get closer to the two brothers little by little, ¡°Remember what we came here for, we were told by Caruncle there was something we should learn about and that if we could help him, he would explain more about what he knows. Caruncle, you can¡¯t change into something you aren¡¯t, but maybe we can still help you to alleviate some of your distress, is there anything else you would want us to help you with? Anything at all?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°Nothing? Don¡¯t you perhaps need to change your financial situation with your family? Should you talk more about your relationship with Evelyn? Maybe if you accept your help to try and improve your confidence we could perhaps¨C¡±


    ¡°Nothing, this is the only thing I would want in my life,¡± Caruncle let his head rest on the floor, his tears already staining the carpet, it was a wonderful carpet too, by the way. Valentin looked back at Percival, suddenly remembering what he was talking about.


    ¡°Right, you aren¡¯t leaving this place until you tell us what you know.¡±


    ¡°Screw you.¡±


    ¡°Look, buddy, you aren¡¯t leaving until you speak,¡± he pushed him around and then hit him again on his stomach, leaving him yet again without any air to breathe.


    ¡°You will have to kill me, then.¡±


    ¡°Our mother would be disappointed if she knew how pathetic you are,¡± Valentin straightened himself.


    Caruncle didn¡¯t answer and closed his eyes, with his eyes clouded by tears and the dim light in the room, he wasn¡¯t able to see anything at all, he didn¡¯t hear anybody else say anything else as he let himself to sleep.

 4. The Suspicion

    Let me apologize for what happened last night. Everyone in the room, myself included, was just tired of Caruncle, things just got out of hand with his cries and well¡­ whatever, let¡¯s just move on, let¡¯s forget about what happened, what do you say if we talk about someone else rather than him? I¡¯m a very imaginative person, you turn so after death, and I can imagine thousands of stories with the people you just met to entertain you! Would you like to hear a story about Valentin instead? What about Percival? What about someone new enterily? No? Not really? Anyhow, around the next morning, I followed Evelyn. She was drinking a cup of coffee with Felicity, who had just sat with a book in her hand. They were both in the garden inside the Dominguez family home, where she was living at the time.


    ¡°I¡¯m leaving the desserts, madam, is there anything else I can do by now? The maid left a tray with cookies on the table. It was a rather pretty mosaic table that distracted me a lot if I continued to pay attention to its many patterns.


    ¡°I was meaning to ask you how the party went this weekend,¡± She asked with an enthusiastic smile.


    ¡°Oh, well, let me just say that I wasn¡¯t the star of the night,¡± Evelyn answered with pity on her face.


    ¡°Oh, my, what happened?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say that the people at the party and I didn''t quite agree on what it meant to have an enjoyable dance.¡±


    ¡°Oh, what are you saying, madam?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you about it later, I need to discuss something with Felicity by now, you might take your leave.¡±


    ¡°If you say so, if you need me, you know where to find me,¡± the maid walked away from the garden.


    ¡°So, what did they say?¡± Felicity asked, once they were finally alone.


    ¡°The guard at the assembly hall said that they had not noticed anything I should be alarmed for.¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t let you even enter.¡±


    ¡°No, they said that I should rather talk to my fiance if I was worried about an insurrection coming up, since he has a place at the hall that he would know what to do.¡±


    Felicity frowned and opened her book to attempt and read it. There were cookies served for both of them in the tray on the table and she had started to eat one of them.


    Evenlyn remembered seeing her father agitated by a discussion that same morning he had in the living room with one of his friends, a councilor that came from the empire of Basilio. They had been talking about a possible mutiny brewing up from the people of Luciana against the descendants from Basilio that still ruled the country.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what my father is thinking but I know he would rather not risk a new situation where we have to move to a new country and leave everything behind yet again.¡±


    ¡°What about you? I mean¡­¡±


    ¡°I know what I have said, if we end up having to leave again, I don¡¯t know if it would be better or worse, but escaping is something I don¡¯t want to repeat.¡±


    ¡°I thought you liked traveling,¡± Felicity smirked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she took a sip of her coffee, ¡°maybe I just don¡¯t like him that¡¯s all.¡±


    Felicity didn¡¯t answer, she continued to eat yet another of the cookies from the tray, she looked back at Evelyn, who was still deep in thought.


    ¡°Are you still worried about what Caruncle said?¡± Oh God, Caruncle always Caruncle, I just couldn¡¯t let him get out of my hand any sort of way, could I? I sighed and sat on top of the table, pretending I took one of their cookies and ate them.


    ¡°How could I not be worried, Felicity? How could I not be worried?¡± She scratched her head.


    ¡°Do you feel he will end up breaking the engagement?¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think he would, but I feel I should end it myself.¡±


    ¡°What are you saying?¡± Felicity raised her head.


    ¡°I¡¯m saying that I¡¯m not marrying a queer.¡±


    Felicity stared at her for a while, she was looking for something to say, but she didn¡¯t find anything.


    ¡°I¡¯m worried about the kind of father he might be.¡±


    ¡°Do you think he will run away if it turns out to be too much for him?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m genuinely afraid he might do something drastic,¡± she looked around the garden making sure there wasn''t anyone else nearby and whispered.


    Felicity chuckled, but she changed her expression back into a blank slate at seeing Evelyn trying to eat her nails. It was funny to me that she did that too.


    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°And what he said last night¡­ Before we arrived, we were talking with each other. He said that what he would tell us would help me understand him more, but now I¡¯m more confused than ever.¡±


    ¡°That he likes drag? As far as his family is concerned, they¡¯re all fervent followers of the Divine, he couldn¡¯t publicly allow himself another relationship with another man but¨C¡±


    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not what I¡¯m worried about.¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about him being homosexual.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? He said he wanted the life of a broad.¡±


    ¡°He said he was in love with me.¡±


    ¡°And you believed him?¡±


    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I? I have been with him long enough.¡± Evelyn raised her hands in the air and for a moment raised her voice, she turned around just to check in case anyone else close to the garden had heard her.


    ¡°You have said that he seemed to avoid you.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I have.¡±


    ¡°Either he wishes to be a broad, or he wishes to be with you, but he can¡¯t really wish for both.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I understand.¡±


    ¡°And I know this will sound unwise of me to say, but I think you should calm down, I really doubt he would break the engagement, so don¡¯t try and call it off yourself.¡±


    ¡°You mean he will get back on his feet.¡±


    ¡°No, most likely he really won¡¯t, probably never will.¡±


    ¡°Are you saying that I should get tied to a man that has lost half of his marbles?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m saying there might be a silver lining here; a quiet life with someone less likely to assert himself. You have told me how deeply afraid you have been of ending with a man that can¡¯t keep his hands to himself, a man that would treat you more like furniture in his home than a wife.¡±


    ¡°That man¡¯s anguish is as palpable as any other¡¯s, and I don¡¯t have the strength to deal with the neuroticisms of another man.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s spineless, ask him to roll over and die and he would do it in a heartbeat.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what I¡¯m worried about.¡±


    ¡°What for?¡±


    ¡°I feel he¡¯s going to anchor himself to me.¡± She widened her eyes. I had noticed her lips were very dry despite having been drinking coffee, but she hadn¡¯t paid attention to them.


    ¡°That¡¯s what an engagement is about.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m talking about him.¡±


    ¡°Well, better for you, isn¡¯t it? He¡¯s most certainly not the type to have an affair.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I care about that at this point.¡±


    I was still sitting on the table, but doing so had lost its thrill long long ago. I would sit on the tables of other people to see if they perhaps noticed me, to test my own luck, if they noticed me, the embarrassment would be worth it for me to escape the loneliness, at that point I would prefer to have the embarrassment of a lifetime than continue to be ignored forever.


    ¡°He¡¯ll lead a quiet life, won¡¯t he? No ripples in the pond. Perhaps not the sturdiest branch, but then, you never did fancy climbing too high.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think he would agree with your assessment of having a quiet life.¡±


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t his family send him to a doctor?¡±


    ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be convenient for them, it could delay our engagement in their eyes,¡± she sighed.


    ¡°What if he gets sent after you two get married?" You would be left on your own to handle the assets of his part of the family and yours.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t like what you are implying, Felicity.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me, then, Evelyn, I was just speaking my mind.¡±


    Evelyn just kept moving the teaspoon on her cup of coffee as she looked at the flowers in the garden. There were some gallica and damask roses in the bushes, but those aside, the bushes lacked variety for her. She remembered the time she attempted to bring some on the way while they were passing by Abrego, the seeds had been lost when their luggage was inspected at the entrance of the country, most of the flowers had died along the way.


    ¡°Not to mention, he¡¯s still paranoid thinking something it¡¯s about to happen, something in this city.¡±


    ¡°Well, he¡¯s hysterical, that¡¯s to be expected.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s hysterical, but he knows something.¡±


    ¡°Do you think so? I¡¯m starting to feel like those things he mentioned were only stuff he said to catch our attention.¡±


    ¡°Valentin didn¡¯t seem to think that way, no.¡±


    ¡°Well, he probably has dug up some dirt on his brother? That would make the most sense to me, if I¡¯m truly honest with you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, and this is starting to cause me a headache.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t let yourself get worked up by this kind of matters, they are part of this kind of affairs.¡±


    ¡°He said his father was planning something, didn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I think he did.¡±


    ¡°Do you have any ideas?¡±


    ¡°An affair?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, you might not be wrong.¡±


    ¡°Of course, how could I be?¡±


    ¡°But still, I would rather not be left in the dark about what he knows,¡± Felicity rubbed her eyebrows slowly. She looked at the sky, but the day was foggy and dim.


    ¡°Do you want to find out what his father is doing?¡±


    ¡°I think that finding out what his father is doing might help me understand what has him so worried.¡±


    ¡°I think his repression to do drag has him more perturbed than anything else.¡±


    ¡°What if it''s his father¡¯s affair that caused his delusions?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    ¡°Maybe Caruncle finally started to act on his own accord against him?¡±


    ¡°I thought he always did.¡±


    ¡°His father never liked him that much, but I had the impression Caruncle never disobeyed him before.¡±


    ¡°Well, in that case Caruncle might be right after all.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°That man looks depressed, but what else can you expect of someone so stubborn in his dreams?


    ¡°Come on, don¡¯t talk to me about dreams now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I apologize, must I assume your endeavors have not worked so far either?¡±


    ¡°People from Luciana do not seem to be interested in Bluebells,¡± Evelyn looked back at the garden. Her father had suggested filling it with other types of local flowers. The few roses that were in there looked quite lonely.


    ¡°Oh, that is¡­ rather unfortunate.¡±


    Now, that is a thing I liked, I liked flowers! While being around Caruncle was rather amusing because of how pathetic he could be to me, being around Evelyn made me feel at home. The thing that made me sad though was how she always looked at the sky as if looking for something, but no matter how long I would spend with her, she wouldn''t find that ¡°it¡± that was missing for her. But here is the thing, even then¡­ even then! I wanted to stay with her, with her melancholy and emptiness inside. I just wanted to forget about me, a ghost going through the world without sense or purpose. I thought that if I spent enough time around her, forgetting to think, forgetting to move or talk, I would finally forget that I was a ghost, and I would believe once again that I was a real person, a human like any other.


    ¡°Let¡¯s not stray from the topic at hand,¡± Evelyn waved her hand trying to move away from the memory. ¡°You mentioned that Caruncle¡¯s father looked cast down? I always took him for the taciturn kind, but if Caruncle said he had seen him acting strange lately¡­¡±


    ¡°Anything in your mind?¡±


    ¡°Well, it wouldn¡¯t be wise of me to ask my family, but I was considering that someone should pay attention to what Mr. Periwinkle has been up to.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± Felicity cleaned herself with a handkerchief. She kept drinking coffee by her side, which was now almost cold.


    ¡°Perhaps Caruncle¡¯s hysteria and paranoia has to deal with that, or maybe there is something worse about his family I should know about.¡±


    ¡°Have you thought of asking him once the two of you are alone?¡±


    ¡°I will, but I still rather know what his father is doing on my own.¡±


    ¡°You want me to help you out.¡±


    ¡°Please.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ if it worries you that much¡­¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t ask if I didn¡¯t think it was necessary,¡± she took Felicity by the hands looking at her while widening her eyes. ¡°He might just be under the weather but, I don¡¯t know, if anything, I just need to know.¡±


    ¡°Alright.¡±


    Evelyn looked inside the house and remembered the words her father had told her that morning. ¡°I get that you are worried, Evelyn, but let''s leave the serious decisions to those of us who have experience in these matters, alright?¡± She started to eat her nails again and thought, ¡°Caruncle, I really want to understand you, but I don¡¯t really get why you would want to be a woman...¡±

 5. The Letter

    Well, that bit with Evelyn was a bit of a bore, and here I thought I could really cheer me up. Would you prefer if we had some adventures with Felicity instead? Consider that we would have been friends in another life and all that. Good? Good. I followed Felicity in the afternoon, she lived in a house in the top of a steep, very steep hill, so sometimes, the carriages had difficulties to arrive, Felicity would usually get worried that the horses would give up and her carriage end up rolling down the hill, which was just funny to me, seeing her try to hold herself over the walls of the little carriage made me chuckle. You should just see her, what a goof, what a little ol funny gal.


    She entered the house and was greeted by the servant of the house. ¡°Good afternoon, Ms. Felicity, I see you have arrived just in time! Lunch will be served in 20 minutes!¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Dolores. I¡¯ll be in my room once it is ready.¡±


    ¡°Absolutely, ma¡¯am.¡±


    Felicity started walking upstairs but she stopped herself and turned around, ¡°Dolores, do you know anything about what the locals have been saying these days?¡±


    ¡°The locals?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I just have heard things have been a bit¡­ uneasy, in the city?¡± Really smooth, girl, yeah, she was hopeless.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t follow.¡±


    ¡°Well, please, don¡¯t worry about it. You can go back to work now.¡±


    ¡°Absolutely, now, if you¡¯ll excuse me.¡± The servant left the living room and walked towards the kitchen. Felicity on the other hand walked towards her bedroom. After entering, she closed the door and sat on her bed.


    Now if she just made something dumb now for me to laugh at! Come on girl! Spirits need to be entertained too!


    Someone knocked on the room, ¡°Felicity, is that you dear? Are you already home?¡± It was the voice of a man, Felicity¡¯s father.


    Felicity got startled, ¡°father? Yes! It¡¯s me! I don¡¯t have any classes in the afternoon so I came to lunch,¡± she slowly stood up and opened the door for him.


    ¡°Dear, we were looking for you this morning, what were you doing outside?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry, father. Evelyn asked me to accompany her for something she wanted to talk to me about.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm, well. In that case, it¡¯s alright. I wanted to ask you about something Father Maxim had told me about the other day.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°He had said that you had a discussion with your previous fiance, was that right?¡±


    ¡°Oh, with Joseph? Yes, well, I was going to tell you about it later.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see, do you need any help?¡±


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m working on stuff for the university right now. It has been ready this week.


    ¡°I see, that¡¯s good. I know you have done really well with his course, I also wanted to congratulate you.¡±


    ¡°Of course, I ended up reading a few more of what I expected, but I am focused on writing the book¨C the report now, I mean.¡±


    ¡°Very well, I¡¯ll be speaking with Dolores, anything you need to tell her?¡±


    ¡°Oh, tell her to prepare more milk candy, the one she made before was just lovely.¡±


    ¡°Sure will, thank you, Felicity.¡±


    Felicity closed the door with an annoyed expression in her face, both lips and eyebrows. She went back to her desk and continued working on her paper while the lunch was prepared. To be honest I didn¡¯t pay attention to what she was writing about, I wasn¡¯t interested, but I had a small peek at her books and notes around the desk about several religious figures, don¡¯t ask me about it I don¡¯t remember it, I just remember a few about with titles about Xenothropides and other stuff of the sort. In the end I just got the idea that she was studying Theology or something.


    When it was time to eat, Felicity asked Dolores to bring her lunch to her room despite her mother''s claims that it would be indecent to do so. She argued that she aimed to finish the report that same afternoon and that she needed concentration.


    ¡°That is everything, do you need anything else from me, ma¡¯am?¡± Dolores asked after leaving the plates at her side.


    ¡°Well¡­¡± Felicity tasted the glass of wine. ¡°What wine is this?¡±


    ¡°Uh, that one is from last year¡¯s harvest, ma¡¯am.¡±


    ¡°Bring me one of the harvest of 9887,¡± she was scratching one of her eyebrows with empty eyes towards the desk wall. She was pretending to focus on the report, but I knew what she was thinking, she just didn¡¯t want to look Dolores in the eyes.


    ¡°From 87? Are you sure ma¡¯am?¡±¡±


    ¡°Yes, why do you ask, Dolores?¡±


    ¡°Well, it is an 11 year old wine, ma¡¯am. Your father told me that one was only for special occasions.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, if he says anything, I will talk to him directly.¡±


    ¡°If you say so. Anything else?¡±


    ¡°Yes, can you bring me Alfonzo, please?¡±


    ¡°Oh, Alfonzo is talking with your father at this moment inside their studio, ma¡¯am. I can tell him to come here once he is free if you prefer?¡±


    ¡°Yes, please. I have something rather delicate to ask him to do for me.¡±


    ¡°Understood, in that case I¡¯ll take my leave.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Dolores.¡±


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    After 5 minutes her mother went to her room. Felicity continued to pretend to work in her report while she talked to her.


    ¡°Felicity, I heard you say you need to talk to Alfonzo about something rather sensible?¡±


    ¡°Yes, mom.¡± Felicity panicked, she didn¡¯t want her Mother to know what she and Evelyn were planning to do.


    ¡°Can you tell me what this is for?¡±


    ¡°Evelyn and I are worried.¡± She turned to face her mother.


    ¡°I see,¡± Her mother frowned in confusion ¡°I rarely see you worried about something in particular, what is going on?¡±


    ¡°Do you think this country will keep the Dominion as their government for long?¡±


    Her mother tilted her head.


    ¡°Felicity? I¡¯m not sure what you are asking me here.¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± she looked away, trying to find the words for the conversation, she didn¡¯t want her mother to have her eyes on her. ¡°I heard there was a fight at a business in the north of the city.¡±


    ¡°A fight?¡±


    ¡°Yes, a pair of Lucianans asked someone in a Basilian business to borrow their longcase clock for a dinner they had planned, but the owner denied it to them.¡±


    ¡°I see, but I don¡¯t get how you would need to worry about that, dear.¡±


    ¡°I know, it¡¯s just that it seems things are rather uneasy lately.¡±


    ¡°And that is why you want to talk with Alfonzo?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I just... I need him to investigate something for me.¡±


    ¡°What for? I don¡¯t really see the need really and¨C.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only to give me a piece of mind, nothing serious, really.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, if you say so.¡±


    Felicity looked back at the small drawer where the old letter was and then continued writing. Every time she thought about it she felt a small knot forming in the superior right part of her head. What? A knot, like a knot in a vein, or something, I don¡¯t know, like she felt a knot in her head, something like that, I¡¯m not a doctor.


    She looked outside her window. There it was, the city, ever so encompassing, but still never quite friendly. Felicity opened a drawer from her desk and took out a little box from inside, with a key hanging up in a collar from her neck, she opened the box and took out a small, worn and wrinkled letter from it.


    She wasn¡¯t reading the letter, she was just eyeing it passively while she looked out the window from time to time while she was thinking about what she just had asked Dolores, but in the meantime, I took the opportunity to read it myself.


    ¡°I must thank you for your kind comprehension in these poor times for my wife and myself. After we lost Maria, Carmen couldn¡¯t eat or sleep, I thought I would lose her, and if I lost her too, I wouldn¡¯t be able to forgive myself. I had already seen the horrors of tuberculosis within my family due to a cousin I had long ago. It is not something I didn¡¯t want to relive, but if that¡¯s Divinity¡¯s will, then¡­ somehow we will have to accept it. The mole below her left eye reminds us of Maria too, so we think this is the one. We appreciate your help with this matter in particular, Father, and we thank your parish too. If the parents of this little child are so long gone from this world, we will do our best to take care of her as if she was our own. You can be sure that no matter if she comes from Lucianan parents, we will take care of her as if she were a Basilian girl.¡±


    Looking at her memories, I found out it was a dusty old letter that Felicity had found inside a box of her father¡¯s office between many worn out and also wrinkled papers with countable records from the house''s expenses and notes. The letter had several spelling errors and some markings between letters, as well several crossed out words, if Felicity and I weren''t wrong, that letter was probably just a draft from what became to be the real letter.


    Felicity thought back to Dolores. A knot in her stomach came up when thought about having to leave if things ever got ugly. I sat at her side on the bed, but she didn¡¯t notice me, of course, how could she? But I stayed there anyway, and looked outside the window along with her.


    She went back from looking out the window to back to the letter a few times. She stared at it, frowned at it, then she left it at her side. She said she had to continue studying. She finally opened the window since she thought she needed some fresh air. Suddenly after opening it up, a gust of wind entered the room and blew the letter away. It was in front of her house.


    ¡°Seriously¡­.¡± She looked annoyed, like really really annoyed, then she stood up and walked back to the entrance to retrieve it, down the stairs, and then across the hallway of the house. Oh, didn¡¯t I describe the house? It was a rather pompous house, unlike most houses that were built in wood with really intricate designs and carpentry in the most rich neighborhoods or adobe in the poorest ones, this one was built entirely on concrete so its strength was something to behold, the walls were all painted with beautiful pastel colors and the floor was covered in ceramic tiles, it was a pretty cozy and comfortable house, if I said so myself.


    ¡°Felicity¡± her father intercepted her in the living room.


    ¡°Yes?¡± She looked outside, the letter was lying on the dirt in front of the house, yeah because despite being still a very fancy house, the front was just dirt, nothing was growing in there. It was just a spot Felicity''s family had picked because of the view rather than anything else.


    ¡°I heard that you had yet another party with your group of friends last week?¡±


    ¡°Oh? Yes, it was Javier¡¯s birthday, you see, he was turning 18, we wanted all to celebrate with the best we had. You¡¯ll understand.¡±


    ¡°Did it really have to be in that coffee shop?¡±


    ¡°What coffee shop?¡± She turned back to face the outside. It seemed as if the wind could blow back again at any moment and the letter could simply disappear.


    ¡°Ibarra¡¯s coffee shop, that place is really expensive.¡±


    ¡°I mean, I know what you have said but¨C¡±


    ¡°We have talked about this before, have you seen the bill we got at all?¡±


    ¡°Please, I know what you have said, I wouldn¡¯t have done it this way if it wasn¡¯t because it was for a special friend.¡±


    ¡°Special friend? Did you even discuss this with your fiance?¡±


    ¡°My fiance?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I heard that you two had a discussion last week, was any of this related?¡±


    The letter was about to go away, it was now, or never! Fortunately Alfonzo grabbed it before it flew off the hill.


    ¡°Excuse me, I have to talk with Alfonzo for a moment, it¡¯s for something important, but I will be right back.¡±


    ¡°Alfonzo, thank you for that.¡±


    ¡°My lady, it¡¯s me that is thankful for being able to see such lovely sight again with these old eyes.¡± He gave her back the letter, he hadn¡¯t managed to read it at all, for Felicity¡¯s relief. Alfonzo was an odd jobs kind of guy who stayed with the family, any sort of job, either in the fields or the city, he did, he worked better outside the city than inside of it, though. Draped over his shoulders he had a poncho over a high-collared shirt, fastened with a cravat and knee-high boots. He also had a machete tied to his belt. He was also one of my favorites. He was already in his 50s, but he had that charm that made you feel you could rely on him, even if he was kinda old.


    ¡°I appreciate it,¡± Felicity said, ¡°speak of, I was looking for you, by the way.¡±


    ¡°For me? What would you need my lady to talk to me about?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ remember what I had asked you about Emilio?¡±


    ¡°Yes, is he giving you trouble again?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, not at all, well, we had a fight, but this is actually about Mr. Periwinkle.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Periwinkle? Do you mean you heard about it too?¡±


    ¡°Heard what?¡± She tilted her head in confusion.


    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t like to throw gossip around, my lady, but it has been said that he has been rather paranoid lately, it¡¯s rumored he¡¯s now working with smugglers that arrive at the port. His family business has not been doing well.


    ¡°Smugglers¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s what people say, not that I have confirmed it myself, anyway.¡±


    ¡°Well, alright, do you think Marzipan could help us out again?¡±


    ¡°Marzipan¡­¡± Alfonzo scratched his chin ¡°I think he¡¯s in the city, but he probably won¡¯t be cheap, espionage has been given the death penalty, because of the murmurs of what has been happening recently.¡±


    ¡°What has been happening recently?¡±


    ¡°Oh, my lady! Haven¡¯t you heard? People feel there might be an insurrection coming soon.¡±


    Felicity felt a chill down her spine.


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°Oh, but I don¡¯t think you should worry about it, my lady, I have the feeling that you wouldn¡¯t have to deal with such matters.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°Your parents always have said that you were a blessing. That mole under your left eye. When you were a baby, they used to say it was a sign of good further. Like my mother used to say, trust and the ones above shall provide.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± she looked back at her house and then back to Alfonzo. ¡°Are you going to town now?" Maybe I can talk to you about it on the way there.¡±


    ¡°If you say so, my lady, you say what shall be done, and I shall obey.¡±


    ¡°And don¡¯t worry about the price, this is important.¡± The both of them walked towards the carriage, Felicity held the letter tightly all the way down the hill.

 6. The Visit

    That didn¡¯t work either¡­ Everyone has just been so downcast lately¡­ I have to try another angle¡­ So, what about some time with Valentin? Valentin around this time was working in his ¡°office¡±, which actually was a very small room in a wooden house. You might think adobe houses looked uglier than the wooden ones, but this house looked like it could crumble at any minute. Stacks of newspapers, printed articles, and drafts of his novels surrounded Valentine. He looked outside of the window, he was always afraid that someone would find him there, every time he went to that place, his heart started beating intensely as if it wanted to get out of his ribcage, and it wouldn¡¯t stop until he left, but even then, he couldn''t stop, he couldn¡¯t stop writing. In his desk was the daguerreotype photograph of an old woman with Valentin at his side as a kid. He looked at it and inhaled deeply. A man with a worn striped long sleeve shirt entered the room with a newspaper in his hand.


    ¡°Your latest article is causing quite a stir. The local party is threatening to expose us."


    Valentin clenched his fists. He took a deep breath and recalled Caruncle''s words back the other day.


    ¡°I know, I know, have any other publishers accepted to work with us?¡±


    ¡°No, it seems that not only Randolph Suchet has been threatened, most people working in the city have decided to not accept any articles from us, not even at the back of their books, or the middle, or anything at all.¡±


    ¡°We might just have to continue with our own press by now, it¡¯s going to be costly, but I don¡¯t see any other way, all of our options are running out.¡±


    ¡°Is there anybody you''re suspecting of, Valentin?¡± He scratched his head.


    ¡°Yes, and I¡¯m not sure who he¡¯s getting that information from.¡±


    ¡°Anyone I know?¡±


    ¡°Yes, my brother, of all people.¡±


    ¡°Your brother.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s actually quite serious, Valentin, if someone so close you has noticed that would mean¡ª¡±


    ¡°Yes, I know, I know, of course I know that. Right now, it¡¯s not even the main concern I have with him.¡±


    ¡°In what sense?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it. But listen, don¡¯t tell the others to worry about him, I will handle it.¡±


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s time to recruit him, Valentin.¡±


    Valentin looked at the window and sighed deeply. ¡°I don¡¯t think he would be open to help.¡±


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll tell Almodovar to give us some time. Also there is a group of women who want to publish something in the newspaper.¡±


    ¡°A group of women? About what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, I think it was another report of violence from housewives, a few of them said that they wanted to report their experiences anonymously.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we have time for that,¡± Valentin scratched his head. ¡°If we want to get somewhere we need to get rid of this government first.¡±


    ¡°I thought that this could divert some of the attention we are getting in the meantime, besides, if anything we could use it for the case you were going to present to the people of Guatava.¡±


    ¡°My article?¡±


    ¡°Yes, the one about Lucrencia. I thought it could be important.¡±


    ¡°Lucrencia didn¡¯t die because she had a bad husband,¡± Valentin looked back at the photograph of the old woman, ¡°she died because of a piece of shit thought his life was more worthy than hers.¡±


    The man sighed at him and turned. ¡°Understood, I¡¯ll take my leave by now.¡±


    ¡°Wait, still, tell Clara to take their testimony, at least in case we need it for later.¡±


    Valentin took his pen and continued writing, he was working on the preface of the text.


    ¡°Dear people of Guatava, today we write to you because we need your help. Your people, just like ours, have been controlled for way too long for the Basilio Dominion. We are going to tell you what we have seen and what we had to deal with. We are people who ended at a crossroads of nations, people that even with Basilian ascendency but that have been pushed aside because they have Lucianian parents, or simply because they were born here all of their lives and are still considered second rate citizens. Let this document be proof not only for the people of today but for the future generations of what we have been dealing with since some long ago, and why now, we have to act, if we don¡¯t do so, we will never become free men. We hope that the facts mentioned here convince you of our noble cause and inspire you to share what you know, even, perhaps even more so, to Lucianian people, who might not know how to read. If our two nations work together for the same cause, we can gain our independence.¡±


    Valentin looked at the piece of paper, but after rereading it a little while he made it into a ball and decided to throw it away. ¡°This won¡¯t even do as a decent draft.¡± He thought. I chuckled, I was glad he had at least some self awareness, because in my opinion, he really was just a mediocre writer. He looked at the window and tried to clear his mind, but he couldn¡¯t, he kept thinking in his father, he thought that he could get to know what he was planning, but the talk with Caruncle had turned into a complete failure, now he didn¡¯t have to worry only for his father¡¯s actions, but also with his brother¡¯s delusions. It was obvious he knew something, but to him Caruncle just felt like a stopped clock.


    He tried again and again, but after a while he stopped, realizing he had already thrown almost a dozen pages into the bin, ¡°a stopped clock gives the right time at least twice a day,¡± he whispered. After a while, he stood up and walked downstairs the old house, he left through the backdoor and got inside a carriage. ¡°Go to Percival¡¯s residence, please,¡± he told the driver.


    When he got to Percival¡¯s residence, he was told by the housekeeper that Percival had left to the house of one of his friends, Alcairo.


    Carmelita glanced nervously over her shoulder before stepping aside to let him in. "Good afternoon, sir. I''m afraid Master Percival is not at home."


    ¡°Where is that shellac? Carmelita! Come right here this instant!¡± A voice was heard from upstairs.


    Valentin frowned slightly. "Is anyone else here?"


    Before Carmelita could respond, a stern voice cut through the air. "Who is it, Carmelita?"


    Valentin turned to see Percival''s uncle, Archie, descending the grand staircase. His sharp eyes bore into Valentin, a mixture of suspicion and disdain evident in his gaze. Since both Percival and Valentin¡¯s came from Basilian grandparents, they still had some  extended family who lived outside the country, and they would rarely come to visit, emphasis on rarely.


    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    "Ah, Valentin. What brings you here?" Archie''s tone was cold, his words clipped.


    "I came to see Percival," Valentin replied evenly. "But it appears he isn¡¯t here, my apologies for intruding."


    "Indeed, he is not," Archie confirmed, his eyes flicking towards Carmelita. "And what have you been doing, Carmelita? I just said a shellac is missing, you surely did not take it, have you not?"


    Carmelita flinched, her eyes dropping to the floor. "Oh, not at all! I wouldn¡¯t be even able to play it myself, I don¡¯t have¨C"


    "Enough," Archie snapped. "If that thing doesn''t appear by the end of the week it will have to be taken out of your pay."


    ¡°Sir, please! If I pay for it I will be short until the end of the month, I¡¯m trying to take my sister into school and¨C¡±


    ¡°Stop, if you keep blabbering, I make sure you pay for the other records that are out of their cases.¡±


    ¡°Sir¡­¡±


    ¡°Please, you are making a scene in front of Valentin, we don¡¯t want him to think bad of us, right Valentine?¡±


    Carmelita looked towards Valentine with a pleading face. His eyes were about to show that sincere compassion he deep inside felt, but he managed to turn his expression into one of disgust just when Archie got closer to them.


    ¡°What?¡± He exclaimed, ¡°I find it shameful that you would even try to look for me to help you cover up for this, we heard you all, you need money to keep your sister in school but this is not the way, please leave and get back to work.¡±


    Carmelita rushed with tears in her eyes. Her movements were quick and fearful. Valentin felt a pang of sympathy in his heart and a cold chill down his spine.


    ¡°Valentin, my boy, how are you doing?¡± Archie patted Valentin on the back, he just wanted to leave right away, but he knew better. Yes, Valentin, there''s more people besides me that you have to entertain.


    ¡°Uh, I am doing well, sir.¡±


    ¡°Are you working already?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m at university sir, still studying.¡±


    The two went upstairs where Percival kept his phonograph in his study, Archie took one of the few records from the shelf and put it to play. On the sofa Archie¡¯s wife was sitting on the sofa slowly waving the hand fan to herself, she barely moved outside of that, it was hard to notice her presence.


    ¡°Ah! This music! This music, indeed! What do you think, Valentin?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    Valentin¡¯s eyes towards the phonograph, but his mind was somewhere else. The song, according to the cover package, was called ¡°Xenothropides¡¯ dance with the Nadiabukures¡± and it was a symphonic theme for a string orchestra. The music sounded rather low over the creaking of the vinyl plate, but it still reached Valentin¡¯s ears, and it created a hole in his stomach. The pure verbosity of it, the mere conceit of thinking people could understand your emotions without you uttering a single word. The arrogance in the grandeur of orchestral arrangements. The violins, the cellos, the double bass, all of the instruments sounded like a mosquito buzz to him, he hated it, he hated the music that was passing through his ears.


    ¡°It sounds very¡­ layered.¡±


    ¡°Oh, but most pieces like this are layered!¡± Archie chuckled ¡°but I see what you mean, each set of instruments interact with each other in a rather playful way, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡± Yes Valentin, say what you want to say, I know what you are, you are a fake, and an annoying one at that, so say it, say it! Say those words that are lingering right now in your mouth.


    ¡°Yes¡­¡± Valentin looked at the old woman smirking at him, at her side was the briefcase that Archie had on the sofa. It looked really stuffed, and really bulky.


    A couple of hours afterwards Valentin went to Alcairo¡¯s home, one of Percivals acquaintances. Well, Alcairo didn¡¯t have a home on his own, he stayed in a small cottage where he paid for a room along with other people. His room had his own entrance to the outside, so that gave him a little bit of privacy.


    In his room, Alcairo was half asleep in Percival''s arms, who on his own end, was smoking some tobacco while he looked at the ceiling.


    ¡°You really should move out from this place,¡± he said.


    ¡°Yeah, if I could just pay for it,¡± Alcairo answered without opening his eyes.


    ¡°You know you could just move with me, too.¡±


    ¡°Percival¡­¡±


    ¡°I know, I know, it¡¯s just that I don¡¯t like this place in the neighborhood, the other day I think I saw someone begging for money on the streets.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but I said I would rather not risk it, please.¡±


    ¡°You are too paranoid.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you that a couple of my uncles are priests? If they ever found out, I could probably ask them to help cover for us.¡±


    ¡°No, if anything, that would be an even bigger reason for me to not stay at your home as a roommate.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant, but¨C¡±


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t, don¡¯t ask them anything, I really don¡¯t want to risk it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m still on the clear, I¡¯m pretty sure.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°My parents used to be part of the town¡¯s assembly, I go to the meetings and when the news that two women who had escaped on their own last week from Guatava were the ones staying here at the center of the town, people voted in favor to talk with the jury in their trial and send them to increase their sentence on jail since people said they were lesbians. I voted in favor too.¡±


    ¡°Percival¡­ now those two¨C¡±


    ¡°Now, my one vote wouldn¡¯t have helped anything, everyone else was in favor. They didn¡¯t want the city¡¯s image to deteriorate anymore than what it already has.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°My parent¡¯s money might not be enough, but you just wait.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Percival.¡±


    ¡°One day I will either buy a house big enough to make into a boarding house, or buy this goddamned pigsty.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t call it a pigsty, you know I¨C¡±


    Suddenly someone knocked at the door.


    ¡°Good afternoon! Is anyone home?¡± It was Valentin.


    Both of them were startled. Percival quickly stood up and looked for his clothes with the dim candle light of the room.


    ¡°You told him you would be here?¡± Alcairo raised his voice.


    ¡°I told Carmelita to not tell anybody that I was with you! That fucking woman!¡±


    ¡°Hello there?¡±


    ¡°Just pretend that you aren''t here!¡±


    ¡°No, I told the driver to wait for me around the next street, he surely has seen it, and it would make him more suspicious.¡±


    ¡°Goddamn it, Percival, make him go away.¡±


    ¡°Just stay in bed, don¡¯t say anything, I will handle this.¡±


    Percival now properly dressed opened the door, Valentin looked at him with a weirded out expression.


    ¡°Uh, are you alright? I have been knocking for a couple of minutes.¡±


    ¡°Yes, sorry, you just caught me asleep.¡±


    ¡°Asleep? Why were you asleep at somebody else¡¯s house?¡±


    ¡°Well, I was feeling rather unwell, so Alcairo offered me to rest for a while since he was leaving, I have not been careful enough with my intake of sugar, you see.¡±


    ¡°I rather prefer you not coming to places like this, and even more if you are feeling unwell.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, I had the door locked,¡± Percival was fixing his hair while trying to look away from Valentin, he didn¡¯t trust his eyes to hide his own secret.


    ¡°What were you doing here again? I just don¡¯t understand, who would leave their guest unattended like this at such time¨C¡±


    ¡°Please, Alcairo had to leave on time or he wouldn¡¯t get paid for the day.¡±


    ¡°Right, but listen, you might never know what the things a man like that does for a living.¡±


    ¡°Right now he works delivering the newspaper in this part of the city. Anyhow, nevermind that, what were you looking for me, if I might ask? We can talk about it on the way back,¡± Percival started walking down the stairs and Valentin followed, Percival thought that perhaps that way he wouldn¡¯t need to see him face to face.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know where to even start, I haven¡¯t been able to sleep an inch since last night.¡±


    ¡°Why? Is this about Caruncle?¡± Percival rolled his eyes while he wasn¡¯t looking at him, he rather stayed away from the topic while he could, I understood him deeply.


    ¡°Caruncle is one thing, but what I¡¯m worried about the most is my father.¡±


    ¡°Have you learned anything new?¡±


    ¡°I just heard from a colleague this morning that he has been getting into smuggling, smuggling! And that¡¯s not the worst part, it seems one of our family paintings is missing.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°I was looking in the attic to see if I had any other pictures of Lucrecia, but there weren¡¯t any. What I noticed though is that the painting is now missing, and I¡¯m afraid he attempted to sell it.¡±


    ¡°Why so?¡±


    ¡°Well, that painting is an heirloom of our family.¡±


    ¡°Then I doubt he would attempt to sell it.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and it¡¯s also a stolen painting.¡±


    ¡°...what? Valentin, I think you are losing me here, can we go step by step?¡±


    ¡°Of course, but right now, there is no time to lose, people have seen him at the port with some rather dubious people, and that painting can¡¯t fall into the wrong hands.¡±


    ¡°Right, and you say you heard this from your coworker?¡± Percival raised his eyebrows and directed his face at him from time to time, now that he felt more relaxed he felt more confident looking occasionally at him.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what worries me most, I have been so busy with¡­ things, lately, and until this week I hadn¡¯t even paid attention to him.¡±


    ¡°Okay, first of all, why would your father get into smuggling?¡±


    ¡°Business has not been going well, and now, I think I should confront him sooner rather than later.¡±


    ¡°And you want me to go to his office with you, right now?¡±


    ¡°Well, see, the thing is that he is away for work, he said he had a business trip, and he won¡¯t return at least until Friday.¡±


    ¡°Alright, so we will have to talk to him in two days.¡±


    ¡°Actually, we need to look at his records first.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I like where you are going with this, Valentin.¡±


    ¡°Your father and my father¡¯s assistant were very good friends, right? If you talk to him, and you convince him or distract him, I could probably check his accountancy books and verify what he has been doing. He is very secretive about his finances with us and I just need something to really confront him when he comes back.¡±


    Percival sighed, he looked at the red hue in the horizon and felt that the night that awaited him was going to be a long one.

 7. The Escape

    You might be wondering, where was our hero in all this? Where has he been all this time? Well he was sunking on bed like the waste of life he was! He had already missed his last two classes and he wasn¡¯t even trying to hide his misery anymore. He looked around his room trying to understand his surroundings. He remembered the conversation at the University, he felt shocked still, apparently a simple phonograph broke his camel¡¯s back. First the telephone was already there, the motion picture camera and even the modern bicycle had already come to light. But the light bulb seemed to be taking a while, there didn¡¯t seem to be any automobiles anywhere in the cities yet. That things were evolving similarly enough but not quite there yet like they did back in his world was messing up in his mind. He didn¡¯t want to think about the bad things that were going to take place soon that he had read about, or the things that could repeat from his old world!


    He looked at the calendar on the wall. The year was thousands of numbers apart, but the week still had 7 days, the day, 24 hours, the year? 364 days! But the months? No, those were different, there were 13 different months, each one with 28 days plus a year day, a special holiday everyone looked forward to, but even then, the earth in that world also gained enough time every 4 years to make year day, 2 year days. So many things were so similar, yet a few were slightly different, that it caused him a sensation of an uncanny valley he could never escape.


    He remembered the conversation he had with his closest acquaintances. As he thought, it had been complete failure, he either wouldn¡¯t convince them to treat him any differently or give him emotional support, or even worse, he would have to work for it, and he wouldn¡¯t, because he was soulless, he barely had any spirit inside of him. Isn¡¯t that right, Caruncle? That you are really soulless? Come on, tell them, tell them that you can¡¯t do anything at all, tell them that the mere threat of trouble and the fact that there will be pain on the horizon is enough to shut you down.


    I wish I could see what you would do if you were in my place, you piece of shit!


    Sigh.


    Listen, I apologize, it¡¯s just, it is always like this, you get attached to someone, you follow them and you think, this is a person that can represent me, someone that will do in the world something that presents the life we both have shared, you follow them for so long, but then they don¡¯t do anything of what you would do, and you just feel stuck. You might not think so considering that we dwell without any consequences, but existence as a ghost is actually quite taxing.


    Oh, wait everybody. Our protagonist finally decided to stand up! Go ahead Caruncle, what are you going to do today? Are you going to gain some pants finally? Will you be responsible and do what you know you have to do? No, listen here everybody, this guy wants to escape, that¡¯s right, he wants to leave everything behind before the big pile of shit he has been standing below falls over him! Go ahead Caruncle, I can hear what you think, show us what is going to be this so-called plan of yours.


    He stepped out of his bedroom and found that the day was dark and the clouds were covering the sky.


    ¡°How are you feeling, Caruncle?¡± His mother quietly asked. She was sitting on the sofa, knitting a beautiful ash tree. I had forgotten my mother¡¯s face long ago, and ever since, I had been looking at older women trying to find the face of my mother, to see if they could help me remember her. Caruncle¡¯s mother didn¡¯t look like mine, but if I was still alive, I think I would be happy to call her my mother.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m just a bit under the weather,¡± he said quietly, silently, without looking at her.


    ¡°I saw a beautiful flower arrangement the other day,¡± she said knitting.


    ¡°What flower arrangement?¡±


    ¡°Orchids, they were beautiful, of a subtle but light purple, it almost seemed as if they were shining through their petals.¡±


    Caruncle¡¯s mother was a fragile woman that had been sick for most of her life, she spent her time at home reading, knitting and working on certain projects of her own, she even liked to cook and clean at times since she felt cleaning helped clear her head.


    ¡°I see, that sounds nice.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I can ask your father to bring me some, if we get to finish the garden indoors, I could probably take care of them.¡±


    Caruncle looked through the window. He was now properly dressed, shiny black loafers, a dim suit with a just as dark old tie. If you looked at him, you would say he could be a decent chauffeur.


    ¡°Your father said I shouldn¡¯t be trying to work on the garden on my own. He¡¯s saying it could hurt my back even more, but I think I¡¯m finally convincing him, if it¡¯s just a small garden, I think it''s a lot more manageable.¡±


    ¡°Of course, that¡¯s very true.¡±


    He looked back at the window and let his soul wander on the outside for a while, for a moment I thought we could even finally meet.


    ¡°You look beautiful today, mom,¡± he looked back at her, detailing her wrinkles in her foreskin. She was wrapped in a comfy and slightly old sweater and he thought about asking her to make one for him too.


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    ¡°Thank you, dear. But you look worried, anything you would like me to talk about?¡±


    ¡°Oh you know, just some difficulties with these weeks'' themes, that¡¯s all.¡±


    ¡°Really? Is the professor you told me about the other day causing you trouble?¡±


    ¡°No, not really, I just still feel lost with all the material.¡±


    ¡°Oh please, I¡¯m sure that you will do alright.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± He looked back at the window. Trying to come up with something to say to his mother was difficult enough and every time he ended with empty answers made him feel a pang of guilt in his heart.


    ¡°Yes, I always thought you were a very smart kid.¡±


    He looked back at her.


    ¡°Truth is, if I¡¯m honest with you, really, is that I don¡¯t even know if I can finish this, what I started I mean, I don¡¯t think¨C¡±


    ¡°Yes, I believe you will.¡±


    ¡°But you know I always have a hard time to focus and I¡­ I don¡¯t know, I can''t keep up. I can¡¯t, I just can¡¯t seem to¨C¡±


    ¡°Caruncle, please, you might lack some strength, I have the same issue myself, but you won¡¯t fail because of lack of wits. Give yourself a breather and go ahead.¡±


    ¡°...¡± He looked back down at the floor now with a strange sense of embarrassment. ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, dear. As I always tell you both, I know and love my children, regardless of anything.¡±


    Caruncle looked around the living room, he was taking careful note of the walls, the ceiling, the stagnant but warm air inside the house. Compared to the cold outside it felt even somewhat comforting.


    ¡°In any case, I shall take my leave.¡±


    ¡°God bless you, dear.¡± His mother continued knitting from the worn out chair while looking at the window from time to time.


    Caruncle stood up. He looked around the living room. The house was quite spacious, but to him, the old wood walls and floors were very unpleasant to the eye. Personally, I thought the house was beautiful. He took some steps towards the door and took his bag. The floors quietly creaked, to me it sounded like a melody, but to him it felt like a screeching noise that made him scared he was going about to fall beyond the ground. His father had promised them to renovate the house next year, but he knew this wasn¡¯t really the case at the end. He left home and saw a carriage parked across the street. He walked his way towards and sat with trembling legs. He looked at a bag that was at his side, once he had made sure of all that was needed inside he went on his way.


    I sat at his side, it always felt curious to me how I could simply sat down in situations like this just as if I was actually sitting down, as if I was flesh and blood, I wanted to study the phenomena further and work into a theory I would call ¡°ghostly magnetism¡± where celestial beings like myself where anchored towards the planet¡¯s movement and the things they followed, but you know, with no else to test this with and nowhere to note it out, I just lost interest in the idea. I looked back at Caruncle. The whole time I spent on the trip I carried a smirk on my face.


    Caruncle stopped close to a restaurant, he looked at the back entrance at the side of a small alley. From what he remembered reading back in Pisces¡¯ library, that restaurant was a perfect target for what he had in mind, he remembered well what had been written in one of the books. A burglary would occur next year. The back entrance door¡¯s back up key was kept below a trash can. An employee would take the key and enter to take the money stored in the safe when he was on his day off knowing that his coworker on the back would usually like to smoke at the front entrance before the store opened. Caruncle would only need to steal the money first, and he would leave the city with a lot of cash in his pockets.


    But he couldn¡¯t, he couldn¡¯t stand up, his muscles wouldn¡¯t move. I looked at him in exasperation again, but this time I didn¡¯t tire my voice out. I just whispered. What is it, Caruncle? The perfect heist, and you still are unable to do it. His heartbeat was already at its limit and he was sweating cold, he hadn¡¯t even moved an inch, his whole body was aching and he was starting to get nauseous. He felt that the last thing he could ever do in the world was to stand up from his seat, he felt that he had turned into a statue and he wouldn¡¯t be able to move a muscle again in his life.


    ¡°Damn it!¡± He yelled, he punched himself in the knee and continued ahead. He thought he had probably enough money, and that the last thing he would want is to leave suspicion about the reasons for his departure and probably even make the police pursue him. He thought that if he ran out of money down the road, he would figure it out. He went on his way and tried to forget the whole incident.


    When we got to the center of the city he stopped in a small, rusty old house. The center was the poorest part of the city, the area overall was actually very commercial and at the peak hours the streets would be filled with crowds of people buying, and people selling, but around that time of the morning, the neighborhood was fairly quiet. Caruncle stood and knocked on the door. I felt a knot in my stomach, maybe what he had planned wasn¡¯t as funny as I thought myself. He knocked on the door several times and waited. I stayed in the car myself, rather frozen by the sensation. ¡°Goddamnit it, what are you going to do now, you idiot?¡± I wanted to slap his face.


    ¡°I knew you would come.¡± A woman slightly smaller than him greeted him. She was wearing a worn out apron and underneath it, a modest one piece with a squared pattern. I thought she looked cute, she had jet black hair and she had it on a rather long ponytail.


    So, who was this woman? Lila was a rather strong willed but hard working person. She would always help her parents go to the market, they would sell all sorts of fruits and vegetables. Her father and uncle would grow on a small farm at the north of the city. She was pretty good at negotiating the prices with the customers that came by and she would often convince them to buy even more than what they came for, just for the promise of a slightly reduced price. She was a bit tired though, she was a couple of years older than Caruncle, and the idea of leaving her old life away appealed to her. She wouldn¡¯t have to get her hands dirty moving around yuccas and potatoes. When Caruncle came one day looking around one day for masato, a fermented beverage one of the servants in the home liked to drink, he found her when asking for directions. She befriended him, or rather, adopted him as a little puppy, and continued to win his confidence with the silly hope that she could charm him over. What she didn¡¯t know is that Caruncle would actually suggest her to run away with him one of those days.


    ¡°Lila. Were you working just now?¡± Caruncle asked.


    ¡°My mother asked me to help and I didn¡¯t want to make her suspicious.¡±


    ¡°Well, o-okay, it¡¯s fine. It¡¯s going to be a long trip, but maybe you can take some rest on the way.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°It depends on the road, now come on, before anyone else sees us.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    They both got in the car. Caruncle sat at Lila''s left side and I sat at her right. Now it was the three of us, almost as if we were a true family.

 8. The Assault

    The feelings of my stomach had already stopped but I was still feeling unable to move, it''s as if a heavy weight was placed on my being. Maybe the idea of having to see the imbecile of Caruncle go deeper and deeper in a situation that would take a lot to take himself out of was much to bear, I thought in Felicity and in Evelyn and how maybe I could go spend some time with them instead of seeing this pathetic tragedy to occur, but no, I stayed, because I didn¡¯t have the energy to move. He was still looking over the road, still absorbed in his thoughts. He had barely looked at the woman at his side since they started traveling.


    A few hours after the sun was setting down, they stopped at a cheap inn. He requested a room for two and went upstairs. Lila turned around to face the window, the moonlight was creeping through it, but it wasn¡¯t bothering any of us, neither them nor me, if anything, it felt as if it was giving us more company than what we could give each other. He was hugging her from behind, trying to fall asleep.


    ¡°Caruncle?¡± She whispered.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Are you sure this is the right decision?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Us, leaving everything behind, are you sure we made the right choice? I feel that we will be found, that we might have to go back, there is always this voice inside my head that tells me I should stop, and I don¡¯t really know what to do.¡±


    Caruncle felt a knot form in his stomach.


    ¡°I thought this is what you wanted,¡± he said in a rather bitter way.


    ¡°What I want is to be happy! Will leaving things behind help us be happy?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I was just doing what you told me.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle? I¡­ just¡­¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Did you even think this through?¡±


    ¡°I¨C well, I can¡¯t think things over, it will just make me feel more worried and more panicked, I don¡¯t want that, I want some peace, I know that you want some peace too. I thought you were in this with me.¡±


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡±


    ¡°I have some money saved, it should be fine,¡± Caruncle thought about what he had learned in the history books of this world back in the library of Pisces.


    ¡°What are we going to do once we leave the country? Do you have a plan?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    He thought that if they could reach the frontiers before they were found out or the war took over the country, they would be out of danger and then they would travel to the other side of the continent to a small country called Acquavella. They would buy a small house in a little village that was around a lake. There had to be a man close to his 80s that took care of the shop with his wife, but she had died recently and Caruncle knew the man would die in a couple of months too due to old age. If they could meet with the old man, they could buy the shop and he would tell Lila to cook for the people in the town so they could sustain each other. It would be a relatively easy life, for him, of course, he didn¡¯t know how to cook, the useless brat, and still, the trip would be very long.


    ¡°Caruncle?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡± He sounded annoyed, I wanted to tell him that he was being careless and stupid, that he was making a terrible mistake and that if he went on further he would end up dying in the middle of the road. He barely left his home while he grew up, and now he wanted to travel through the continent with a woman that was as fragile as he was? Fucking please. He felt guilty, the anxiety was eating him inside. I almost felt he could hear me. I really hoped he could, because I wanted to tell him how much of an idiot he was to his face.


    ¡°Would you touch me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m already hugging you.¡±


    ¡°No, please, touch me.¡±


    ¡°We aren¡¯t married yet,¡± he took his arms off her and turned around, he started hugging his pillow instead, it was as if she had suddenly turned into hot coal.


    ¡°Caruncle, please¡­¡±


    I saw a demon creeping into the room from the underworld and below the bed. It threatened him with getting closer. His heartbeat was starting to accelerate, he was starting to feel ill and his stomach was starting to revolt. The demon crept inside him, making him feel even more disgusted. He felt anger, he wanted to cry and was trying to hold back his tears. He was deforming in a veiny mess that wasn¡¯t human anymore.


    ¡°What the fuck is going through your head, Caruncle?¡± I asked with a perplexed grimace on my face. I wanted to laugh, but I only felt sorry.


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    ¡°Please, give me some time.¡± He told her in a whisper.


    ¡°Time, time for what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood for things like this right now.¡±


    ¡°What does that even mean?¡±


    ¡°It means I¡¯m sleepy, so good night.¡±


    Lila turned around to see him with a frown in her face but didn¡¯t say anything, she just raised her eyebrow and then went back with her face to the moon outside the window.


    And Caruncle, oh poor, poor Caruncle, he hadn¡¯t turned into an adult. Please, give him some time, at this rate it might take him the rest of his life, but hey, it is what it is. The otherworldly being stayed through the whole time, slowly distorting his body, stretching it and deforming it into weird forms and shapes. I took him out from his little cage where he kept sobbing and I started punching him, over and over again. He already looked so disgusting that it just made me puke. I said, "How can we go? Let¡¯s make that face of yours match more what you are on the inside!¡±


    In the middle of the nightly desert inside the dream vault, there was nobody who could come to his rescue, it was just me. I kept punching him over and over without letting him rest, the pale moonlight illuminating my fists and his deformed face as it got more and more swollen by my punches. When he awoke, he tried to recall what had happened. He couldn¡¯t remember anything, but I had a smirk on my face.


    The next day they continued traveling towards the frontier. As the car trundled along the winding road, the rain intensified, its relentless drumming on the roof blending with the rhythmic clatter of the wheels.


    ¡°We might need to wait a while somewhere, even with the car we might get wet if we keep going with this weather.¡±


    ¡°The car?¡±


    ¡°Yes, this I mean.¡±


    ¡°You mean the caleche?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, that, sorry, I don¡¯t know where I got that word from.¡±


    They both stopped below some huge trees entering the woods. The trees could have easily been 3 or 4 meters tall, just like the rest of the forest. There was a heavy breeze coming from inside it. Caruncle shifted uncomfortably on his seat, his eyes darting between the forest and the woman sitting opposite him. Her presence was more of a source of anxiety rather than comfort for him, but she was the one he had chosen, so he had better stick up for her. Lila seemed to sense his unease. She offered a tentative smile, but it did little to ease the knot in his stomach. He wanted to say something, anything, even if just to end the silence between them, but the words got caught in his throat.


    They started to hear footsteps approaching. Their quick steps started to sound closer and closer in the middle of the rain. Caruncle and Lila exchanged worried glances as they turned around, when they saw a group of unkempt people at each side of them. I concluded that with how slow Caruncle had been going, they probably had been followed for a while already and that the group was just waiting for them to stop. Before the two could process what was happening, a rough-looking man pointed a revolver at them. Caruncle¡¯s heart was about to explode.


    ¡°Out of the caleche,¡± the man barked. ¡°Now!¡±


    Lila gasped, clutching Caruncle¡¯s arm. He felt a surging sense of inadequacy. They stepped out into the muddy road, the rain soaking through their clothes almost instantly. He looked at them and imagined he took the knife and attacked them, that he took their eyes out and tore their limbs to pieces. Still, he couldn¡¯t move.


    ¡°Empty your pockets,¡± the second man demanded, shoving a sack towards them. ¡°Let¡¯s make this easy and we will be gone before you know it.¡±


    Caruncle stood frozen in his place for a couple of seconds, but to him it felt like hours. When the second man yelled back at him, he finally reacted and he started fumbling with his bag, his hands shaking as he pulled out their meager possessions. He then also gave his small briefcase without saying a word.


    ¡°Caruncle? What are you doing?¡± Lila whispered at him with indignation. I chuckled.


    ¡°Don¡¯t move! You are going to get ourselves killed!¡±


    The pair of men laughed at them.


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡± She started to cry as she saw the men take her bag in the carriage where she had all of her life savings and her clothes.The thieves took everything: their money, their papers, even Lila¡¯s modest jewelry. When they were satisfied, one of them turned around but the other kept pointing the gun at them. Caruncle didn¡¯t move a single muscle while everything happened, he didn¡¯t struggle, he didn¡¯t yell, he didn¡¯t even dare to look at them with anger, he was just afraid, as if he had been frozen in time. Before he knew everything was over before it even started.


    ¡°Alright, well done you lovely birds,¡± the first man sneered. ¡°Don¡¯t try to follow us, it¡¯s not going to end well.¡±


    The group of men walked into the forest, leaving them alone without anything else in the middle of nowhere.


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡±


    ¡°I had a gun! I swear I had a gun! But I didn¡¯t have it ready, I just thought these people would only appear in the afternoon, I said¡­ I said, let¡¯s leave quickly in the morning. They usually drink a lot at night and since it''s close to the weekend I said, they won¡¯t get up until very late, but I fucked up! Now I can¡¯t even¨C¡±


    ¡°Caruncle!¡± Lila yelled at him, she looked back at her and he saw her with a desperate look on her face. ¡°What are we going to do now?¡±


    Caruncle kept staring at her without saying a word. He fell on his knees and let the rain fall over him. He touched the damp grass at the side of the road, trying to ground himself, trying to convince himself that it had really happened, that yes, he indeed had fucked up. After 5 long minutes, Lila sat down back on the caleche. The reality of their situation sank in, the dream of escape slipping through their fingers like rainwater. Caruncle felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He had failed to escape, because he was selfish and stupid.


    Lila closed her eyes, a frown was now stuck on her face. I saw tears slowly coming out from her eyes.


    I was tired of looking at both. I looked at the sky, but it was completely covered by clouds, the daylight was very pale and a blue hue covered the grass and the trees and the rain covered the whole forest in a transparent and icy layer. I was feeling very cold too. I placed over myself a lace-detailed blouse, an ankle-length skirt and some lace-up ankle boots, and a brown parasol.


    Caruncle had stopped thinking, the only thing he was focusing on now was his heartbeat and his cold breath. He couldn¡¯t escape, he didn¡¯t have what it took, I knew it, he knew it, he was now just facing the facts. The fantasy was finally over. Now without any money or possessions to continue the trip, he would have to go back, like a dog with a tail on his knees. I laughed. It would be better for him if he continued along, even as a vagabond. I knew that the things that were waiting for him once he went back home were going to be so much worse.


    End of Act I.

 9. A Purchase

    ¡°Where am I?!¡± Caruncle couldn¡¯t see anything, he was naked and cold. He had been chained from the legs and the arms. I also felt cold and more stiff than ever, so I sat around him and tried not to move. Someone opened the door, it was a man in a dark green suit, he looked quite old, but with the poor lighting of the basement, it was hard to see. Caruncle didn¡¯t say anything, he couldn¡¯t speak, his throat felt dry and hoarse. The man got close to him and stopped a few meters in front of him. Caruncle tried to raise his head, but trying so gave him a sharp pain in his neck.


    The man lowered a small bucket with water he had brought with him.


    ¡°Drink.¡±


    Caruncle got the bucket close to him and with a lot of difficulty he held the bucket with his arms and he started to drink slowly.


    ¡°You might call me Lopez. I met your father the other day.¡±


    ***


    Zuriel Periwinkle was a wooden ships manufacturer. Yes, I know, you can laugh, I laughed a lot too. He had inherited his father¡¯s business and had learned the art of his craft, he had also inherited his love for the technique, the construction, the design and manual labor it required. Now that wooden ships were falling out of use and were becoming more and more obsolete, he was stubborn about moving on. He refused to listen to the voice of reason and now he was nothing more than the owner of a falling business. Sound familiar? To me it does.


    He looked around the walls of his office, people thought that houses built on wood were better, and more graceful, than houses built in adobe, the superiority of wood was always clear. He thought that he maybe could sell them as a cheaper alternative to the metal ships and he had managed to go on like this for a while, but now that metal ships were more widespread the cons were starting to outweigh the cons more and more. He saw himself forced to work in some other dangerous side activities to continue not just bringing food to the table, but also continue with his venture. In short, he was almost as stupid and pathetic as his son was.


    He was talking with one of his clients. He was now entering his 50s and he was wearing the same dark green suit in a dark green. He looked slightly pale, but his face always had a smirk that denied any claims that he was ill.


    "I also appreciate your vision a lot, but please, remember, for our dreams we all have to make sacrifices. I know you are a smart man, so wouldn''t you agree?"


    ¡°I¡¯m not selling my family business, Mr. Lopez.¡±


    ¡°Oh well, that is fair! Family businesses are no light matter. Have any of your sons shown interest in taking over after you retire?¡±


    ¡°Well, no, not really yet, no.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that is so dreadful, have you considered which of the two you might be able to talk into this.¡±


    ¡°Valentin is a good kid, but I doubt he would take over, he¡¯s interested in being a doctor.¡±


    ¡°I see¡­ I¡¯ll guess that such a career takes a toll on your pocket.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but it¡¯s a good investment.¡±


    ¡°What about the younger one?¡±


    ¡°Caruncle¡­¡± Zuriel frowned, he thought of him and remembered how empty his eyes always looked. ¡°I don¡¯t know, I can¡¯t figure out that kid.¡±


    ¡°Does he misbehave?¡±


    ¡°No, but¡­ I wish he did, at least that way I would know what I even have to do.¡±


    ¡°Oh? In what sense?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I used to think he was just leisuring with too much imagination, but no.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t follow.¡±


    ¡°One day I was about to buy a property on the other side of the city. The owner had died and had left no heirs, it was quite ample and beautiful too. It was being sold at a relatively low price since the auditor was about to leave the country, but he told me not to buy it.¡±


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he want you to buy the place?¡±


    ¡°He didn¡¯t say why, he just kept asking me to not buy it, I had other matters to attend to, so at the end I didn¡¯t go through with the transaction. Long story short, the house fell down a month after it was sold.¡±


    Lopez opened his eyes fully and scratched his head. I chuckled.


    ¡°What happened with the auditor after that?¡±


    ¡°Nobody found him, naturally. He flew away with the money, and the family who went to live there died. To be honest, this has been far from the only time that boy has weirded me out.¡±


    ¡°You are afraid of him.¡± Lopez quipped, but Zuriel didn¡¯t smile back.


    ¡°Perhaps I am.¡±


    Lopez frowned in confusion, the conversation had gone to a point he wasn¡¯t expecting, but rather than amusing him, it puzzled him.


    ¡°Mr. Periwinkle, such an event could be explained easily in lots of ways. If you allow me to speak in matters that do not concern to me, let me just say¨C¡±


    ¡°Please,¡± Zuriel interrupted him. ¡°I know what you are going to say, I know how it looks, it''s disgraceful. To know one didn¡¯t manage to raise a child in righteous ways, but also to be afraid of one¡¯s own child, it speaks ill of one¡¯s abilities as a parent.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°I trust in Valentin, I also trust in myself, and because of that, I¡¯m always giving all my spirit to my business, because I believe in what my family has built upon.¡±


    ¡°I guess there isn¡¯t too much of a point in continuing to discuss the matter, then.¡± Mr. Lopez gave him a sad smile, Zuriel didn¡¯t see it, but I did. I saw it because I¡¯m smart. I notice this kind of detail. He was looking at him with the pity of a man you give to someone that has been married to their own doom. It wasn¡¯t particularly romantic, it was just naive and pathetic.


    ***


    ¡°Your father was quite the sad old man, Caruncle.¡± The old man said in the basement, Caruncle hadn¡¯t spoken at all the whole time, he was crying very silently. ¡±Now, do you wanna know what happens next? Someone knocked at the door of the building. I¡¯ll spare you the details because frankly I don¡¯t quite remember well myself. Valentin, your brother. entered the office along with, that friend of his, then, Evelyn, your fiance, as well as her trusted friend, entered as well, apparently the latter were following the former two along.


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    ¡°Your brother asked your father about the painting called Egg¡¯s Feet! Egg¡¯s Feet! I still remember it because it was such a stupid name! They said it was a painting of a naked humanoid fox, or was it a human with fox-like features? It sounded like quite a provocative painting, to bad taste or shock, I don¡¯t know, but it had been stolen by, according to Zuriel, his great great grandmother when coming to the country as a reminder of the time she had spent chained in the house of her masters. The painting had been kept in their attic as an heirloom; they couldn''t showcase it in the living room since it was, after all, a stolen painting.


    ¡°Your brother mentioned he had found out your father was trying to sell it on an underground market, but it had been recovered by the police, the seller ran away and was shot on the spot, so while all witnesses about how the painting had been stolen were gone, now they had been left without any heirloom, and yes, he had also found out that his father¡¯s business was on the edge of bankruptcy.


    ¡°Oh and here it was! Here it was! The nerve! The nerve of those people, do you wanna know what happened? Your father and your brother ended up yelling at each other, your brother then mentioned that little matter of sorts you have, yes, your illness, your perversion, whatever the hell you want to call it, but somehow the conversation turned around from the painting, to the bankruptcy, to the talk about a poor man wanting to wear some panties! Everyone was now sitting around the office with their throats tired out and no will to continue. Your engagement was about to be broken, your father¡¯s business was about to be closed, it was such a dim atmosphere that if it had been anyone else other than me they might have left on the spot.


    ¡°That¡¯s where I come in, Caruncle. Naturally, I had been all this time hearing from the other room where I had been speaking to Zuriel, he apparently had forgotten about me, so I stood up and looked around the room.¡±


    ***


    ¡°I believe I might have a solution for your troubles.¡± I spoke softly, very softly, trying to give them that sense or reassurance they were looking for.


    ¡°Mr. Lopez, I had forgotten you were here and I feel we should continue this another day, you must forgive me.¡± Zuriel stood up, but Lopez waved him to sit down again.


    ¡°Please, you say that you don¡¯t want to sell your business, but you are having issues paying the bills, is that correct?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is.¡±


    ¡°Then, please, allow me to talk to you in private for a moment. I certainly believe you will want to hear this out.¡±


    The two of us talked for 10 minutes in your father¡¯s room. Everyone stayed around, drinking black coffee while trying to calm down. Afterwards we opened the door and your father slowly came out with his eyes wide open, he sat down on the sofa while looking at emptiness.


    ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have indulged you into listening to such¡­ such a proposition.¡±


    ¡°What did you two talk about?¡± Your brother asked.


    ¡°Allow me to explain,¡± I answered them. ¡°Aside from working in real estate and owning several kinds of business on my own, I also take my time as a collector.¡±


    ¡°Now, Caruncle, I know you are a smart man yourself, so tell me, do you know what I am collecting? Do you know what your family decided to sell instead of the painting? Do you know what it was? From all the ways I have managed to make someone my own, this is the most scandalous way possible, I dare say the most ridiculous too, I look back at it when I got sleep, and it still makes me laugh.¡±


    Caruncle didn¡¯t say anything, he started sobbing as quietly as he could.


    ¡°Yes, Caruncle, it was you, you were sold to me, by your family..¡±


    ***


    Sure, Caruncle was in fact a pathetic man, a vermin, someone with no worth on his own, but he was MY toy, nobody should have even dared to touch him, he was the one I wanted to follow, the one I wanted to torment. How could such an idea pass through the minds of civilized people like them? Weren¡¯t they supposed to be respectable people? Wasn¡¯t Caruncle the delusional one? I wanted to know what happened that night, what did they exactly say, what did they exactly agree on, but I told myself that finding out would only bring me more anger.


    There is so much time that has gone by ever since it happened. It has been 10 long years, and even after 10 long years, Caruncle, against all odds, didn¡¯t die, he had been kept away in that putrid basement for so long with no sunlight, with barely any food or water at all.


    Lopez would come in, he would ask Caruncle for one of his fingers and Caruncle would beg him not to because he couldn¡¯t bare the pain, there were a few times were Caruncle offered Lopez his finger in exchange to tell him about the intel he had in other people, he was trying to use the knowledge of the library of Pisces, ¡°if you let me be, I¡¯ll tell you what you can black blackmail this guy this way, you can find their funds this way¡±, yada yada yada, and Lopez would accept, but he stopped doing this since Lopez was starting to get obsessed with him. To force himself to stop giving out more information to the man, he stopped speaking entirely, that only made Lopez angrier. After 10 long years, Caruncle had lost all of his toes and the fingers of his right hand. He still kept four fingers in his right hand aside his thumb, which had been chopped away, but nothing else.


    Mr. Lopez said he would have to take his eyes when he ran out of fingers.


    Do you want me to talk about this in further detail? Describe to you all what happened? The fall of Caruncle the idiot and his misadventures in the rotting cell! Well, no, I won¡¯t talk about it! I won¡¯t talk about it! No matter how much time passes by! I won¡¯t tell you anything about it! You will have to live with that hole in your memory, just like I have.


    I can¡¯t talk about it. I can¡¯t.


    I know that Caruncle is a small and worthless man, but¡­


    Nothing. It doesn¡¯t matter.


    One day a man arrived, looking to purchase a slave from Lopez, he entered the basement where Caruncle was kept.


    ¡°So, is this the one?¡± He asked.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m afraid he¡¯s quite useless, he doesn¡¯t know how to do any sort of task, he isn¡¯t cooperative so I had to keep him here all along and his muscles aren¡¯t in the best condition. He screams too much if you use him for pleasure purposes so sometimes you have to choke him with a towel. I was thinking about taking away his tongue, but sometimes he says useful information, it¡¯s just that it is really hard to get anything out of him. Nobody really has offered to purchase him and I feel obliged due to good faith to be honest with you, that¡¯s why he¡¯s so cheap.¡±


    ¡°Right, and you say he has delusions?¡±


    ¡°On, indeed, he¡¯s a lunatic with sexual perversions, but he¡¯s not dangerous, that is for sure.¡±


    They had gone downstairs and once he was standing up at the side of Caruncle, he raised his head and looked at him. The man stood at an impressive height, his presence alone was enough to silence anywhere he went. He wore a thick trench coat which made him look huge along with his muscle mass.


    He squatted and looked at Caruncle who was now looking down at the floor. The man took Caruncle¡¯s chin with hand and slowly raised it to make him look at him. His hands were coarse and rough, but his touch was gentle.


    ¡°You are the one who said he rather had a cunt, is that right?¡±


    Caruncle didn''t answer.


    ¡°I asked if you are the one who wants a cunt.¡±


    He didn¡¯t say anything, his eyes were staring at him, but his mind was somewhere else.


    The man sighed and stood up. ¡°Are you sure this is the one?¡± He asked Lopez.


    ¡°Pretty sure, sir.¡±


    ¡°Well then, I¡¯ll take him, sooner or later he should be prone to speak.¡±


    ¡°In that case, I can unchain him right now and ask one of my men to bring him to your place.¡±


    ¡°No need, I¡¯ll take him myself. Do you have the keys to these chains?¡±


    ¡°Well yes, and sir, about the payment¨C¡±


    ¡°Here.¡± He stretched his arms and gave a small case he was carrying to Lopez. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯ll appreciate the tip, I would appreciate your discretion about the visit I have done today, now, the keys?¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes!¡± Lopez gave the man the keys and he slowly took off the shackles from him and then raised him on his arms. Caruncle didn¡¯t react, he let himself get carried away.


    ¡°Make sure the door is open outside.¡±


    ¡°Right away.¡±


    The both of them went upstairs and finally left with Caruncle from the basement. The stairs went for 10 whole floors, looking around it, the thing felt more like a modern industrial warehouse than a proper manor, the smell of the air made me uneasy. We both had gotten used to the smell of blood and feces, but now that we slowly were going up, all sorts of smells were coming through our noses, and we couldn¡¯t really decipher what they were.


    ¡°Might I ask why would you choose a man like him? In all honesty, he has been more of a liability than anything else, so I feel rather curious about what you will use him for.¡±


    ¡°Nothing, he¡¯s going to work as food for the beasts I¡¯m growing now.¡± The man answered after a long moment of silence.


    ¡°Oh sir!¡± Lopez forcefully chuckled. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine what kind of animals you would need such expensive meat for.¡±


    ¡°Some beasts aren¡¯t so easily fed.¡±


    I directed my eyes for the last time at the basement, but it was so dark below that I couldn¡¯t see anything.

 10. A Transplant

    There isn¡¯t anything else to say. I have hated this man for a long time, that is true and clear as day, but now I¡­


    Why didn¡¯t I leave?


    I just didn¡¯t leave, that¡¯s the way of things.


    The man put Caruncle inside the carriage and covered him with a blanket since he was trembling. He then covered his face with a face mask to stop him from scratching his eyes due to the pain the streetlights were causing him. I didn¡¯t see much, but the street seemed to be desolated. He sat down at his side and tried to hold Caruncle from falling over with one arm now that he was crouched in a fetal position in the seat inside the carriage, trembling from the cold. Another man sat on the front, he was dressed with a black suit, you know, penguin style, he looked a lot older and he had quite a long mustache covering his face. The man in the trench coat told the driver to go ahead and we finally started moving. While looking out the window, he started smoking a cigar.¡°You will have to apologize for my harsh language just now in the basement,¡± he said while looking at Caruncle ¡°one can never be too safe.¡±


    Caruncle moved his head towards where the voice of the man was coming from. His teeth were still chattering.


    ¡°Now, I¡¯ll present myself, my name is Custodio, Custodio Esparza. The man in front of you is Mortimer Muller, he¡¯s not just my servant, but also my right hand.¡±


    He turned around to where the servant was, but the servant didn¡¯t speak.


    ¡°Once we arrive, you¡¯ll take a good sleep and we¡¯ll talk about what shall be done tomorrow, for I need you in a lucid mind for I will have to ask you.¡±


    After that, the man stopped speaking and Caruncle let his mind drift away.


    Two hours afterwards we arrived at our destination, but I didn¡¯t see how the place looked, for I felt as dreadfully tired as Caruncle did, and let myself drift away just the same. Custodio took again Caruncle in his arms and then took him to another room, what room it was I didn¡¯t know, I wasn¡¯t in the spirits to open my eyes either, but I could feel just like him than we went down through many many stairs until the air turned stale yet again. For a moment I thought we were being taken again towards that basement.


    Afterwards, we both fell asleep.


    The floor was uncomfortable, maybe it was the fact he had slept for so long on another floor, but his dreams kept haunting him. He would feel we finally woke up only to realize he was still in a dream and then fell into a fake awakening again at least one hundred times.


    After a long while, at what I thought was likely the next morning, Custodio entered the room, his steps made a heavy, dry sound with every move.


    ¡°Sit down.¡± He told him, he took off his facemask and closed the door behind him. He was still wearing handcuffs and leg shackles, so it took him a while, but with some effort he managed to sit, after a while he managed to see Custodio with the dim light of the candle in the room.The man in the leather coat kept looking at Caruncle carefully, but he wasn¡¯t changing his expression.


    I looked around, it was a very small room covered in gray brick walls and no windows to other rooms. There was almost nothing in the room, aside from some things on another table on one side, and a bathtub on the other side of the room.


    ¡°Do you know why I bought you?¡±


    Caruncle stayed still, but after a while, he shook his head.


    ¡°Look at me when I am speaking to you.¡± Custodio spoke, his voice was loud, and his tone was empty and dry. Caruncle raised his head towards Custodio, but his eyes didn¡¯t seem to be looking at him at all. ¡°I¡¯m going to give you a choice, and I need you to listen to me carefully.¡±


    Caruncle¡¯s eyes seemed to finally focus on him, he came out a little out of his lethargic state and more of his more anxious demeanor returned to his body.


    ¡°There is something I have been looking forward to doing in the last few weeks, and as things are right now, I¡¯m running out of time, so because of this if you say no, I will be forced to kill you.¡±


    Caruncle felt a chill down his spine and his heartbeat started to accelerate. If I could, I would hug him. Custodio noticed that Caruncle started to hyperventilate, so he kneeled down a bit, and offered his left hand to him.


    ¡°I need you to calm down for the choice you are going to make. I did select you, because there is a big probability that our goals are aligned, so we might be able to help each other out.¡± It could probably have been my impression, but Custodio¡¯s tone seemed to be as silent as a whisper. It was hard to hear, maybe my own soul had already lost contact with reality and I couldn¡¯t perceive reality the same way I did before.


    Caruncle slowly took Custodio¡¯s hand without saying anything, Custodio took Caruncle¡¯s shaking hand and he put his own hand on top of it. ¡°You see, my daughter died a few weeks ago, I¡¯m trying to revive her. Her body is slowly decaying, and I only have so much time before it turns into nothing. I¡¯m doing as much as I can, but there is only so much I can do to slow down its deterioration. I can restore anything from her body, anything, as long as it is in good enough condition, but to revive her I am going to need another brain, your brain.¡±


    The cranky guy looked back at Custodio terrified, his heart was going at full speed, for a moment I thought he was going to have a heart attack, but Custodio started caressing his hand slowly and that seemed to have some effect on him, at least, at least, it looked like he wasn¡¯t going to hyperventilate anymore. In the few moments I was close to him, I could feel a fluttering on his stomach as he focused on the feeling of his hand.


    ¡°If you accept and allow me to give her your brain, once I am done, you will be revived, and you will be able to walk, eat normally, do anything you used to do before you were imprisoned.¡±


    Custodio¡¯s head pointed to the bathtub in the back of the room. Looking inside of it, I could see the body of a woman submerged on ice, she was probably in her late twenties, no, she was probably younger, but I wasn¡¯t sure. Caruncle looked at the body behind him and then back at Custodio.


    ¡°To you, it might feel like a change of clothes, so to speak.¡±


    He looked confused, he frowned as if trying to grasp the situation, but without actually succeeding.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m asking you to be my daughter.¡±


    Caruncle tilted his head, he opened his mouth as if trying to speak a couple of times, but nothing came out.


    ¡°If you accept, I can guarantee that the process will be a success, and once I¡¯m done I will also take you under my care as well, as my daughter, you will stop being a slave. If you reject my offer, I will have to use your organs to keep her body fresh enough, if I don¡¯t do it, I might run out of time before I can finally find another proper candidate to use for her brain,¡± Custodio gave him a sad smile as he raised his eyebrows, like he was looking for his sympathy.


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    The fluttering on Caruncle''s stomach had turned into a hole. Custodio finally stood up and took his hand from him.


    Caruncle touched his face.


    ¡°You might go to heaven, to hell, you might start a new life or just disappear completely, before you ask me, no, I don¡¯t know what happens to mortal souls after death or if some God takes care of them, but I know that this world has been abandoned. If you accept my offer, we will stay here for a while, but if you don¡¯t, you will just find out what comes afterwards just today.¡±


    Caruncle slowly lowered his hands while looking attentively at Custodio, the words now fully weighing on him, he didn¡¯t say anything, but his eyes were fully opened, as if he had just seen a monster.


    ¡°I am giving you an hour to think about it.¡± Custodio turned around and opened the door. ¡°Whatever you decide to go through, I promise it¡¯s going to be quick.¡± He walked out of the room and closed the door after him, Caruncle and I were left alone, with only the weak light of the candle illuminating the room, in the whole hour afterwards, he barely moved at all.


    The whole ordeal was probably pointless anyway, the man had lost his marbles, and most likely, he was going to die in the next hour or so, that¡¯s what I thought. Caruncle on the other hand decided to entertain the thought of the proposal the man had given him as a way to keep himself busy until his death. Even if he lived, even if he escaped, he had nowhere to go, he was useless, he didn¡¯t have the guts, he didn¡¯t have the brain, he didn¡¯t have anything, he might as well drop dead.


    In the whole time I spent with him, I kept wishing he would reject the offer. I knew it was selfish of me, but I thought that perhaps, maybe, there would be a day where something would happen so I could be relieved from my existence as a ghost and go into the afterlife sooner so we could finally meet, if he took up the deal Custodio gave him, even if he left this world, I would still have to wait for him until my sentence was over, or, most likely, we might never meet each other ever again.


    I was speaking directly at him, ¡°please, Caruncle, don¡¯t accept, please, hear me out,¡± but I knew it was pointless. At some point, I just stopped talking, and sat right at his side, caressing his hand, imagining he could actually feel me. Sometimes, I would peek inside his mind, the options were clear, and despite the fact one of the choices gave him an exit to the world he still saw as foreign to his eyes, the events that awaited him after death scared him. It was too big of a gamble, he could perfectly end up being taken by some higher being and be given a better fate out of the pity, or he might just end up in the hands of Jazmin once again.


    If what was awaiting him was nothingness, that would still be preferable to the Jazmin he was living in right now, but something inside him was creeping him out. The feeling that Vespera was waiting for him for once he died, and, since he had failed to carry out the events that had happened in a previous iteration of this world, the events that Jazmin had held so dearly in her heart to write complete books about them and that led into the change of the world she had made, he felt that her reaction wasn¡¯t going to be positive, and he was terrified of it.


    He couldn¡¯t still forget her eerie eyes.


    After the hour had passed, Custodio came back, he slowly opened the door and closed it after him, slowly, as if not trying to make a sound. He turned around and then looked down towards Caruncle.


    ¡°Now, I want to hear your choice.¡±


    Caruncle looked up at him, but he didn¡¯t speak. For what felt like a couple of minutes, he didn¡¯t say anything, Custodio didn¡¯t say anything either, neither of them moved or made a sound, they looked at each other with an expression that to this day I still quite can¡¯t comprehend.


    He nodded at Custodio while looking him in the eyes.


    ¡°Very well, do you have any last words?¡±


    Caruncle shaked his head in negation.


    The man didn¡¯t move for a while, as if he was frozen, then he closed his eyes and sighed, but the expression on his face didn¡¯t change. He kneeled down and with a worn out key, he started to open the locks from the chains that were in Caruncle¡¯s neck as well as every limb of his body.


    ¡°Are you familiar with the name of Darius?¡± He spoke to him, a bit more softly this time. Caruncle didn¡¯t speak and just shaked his head, Custodio continued. ¡°That is the name of one of the men that Jazmin met a long time ago, she was his mistress.¡±


    After Caruncle¡¯s shackles had been removed from him, Custodio slowly took him yet again on his arms and Caruncle allowed himself to be carried, he barely moved or made a sound, he only kept looking at Custodio''s face with an expression of fear and wonder.


    ¡°Darius was a demon, and on more than one occasion, he decided to come inside and visit one of the worlds Jazmin had made,¡± slowly, Custodio placed Caruncle¡¯s frail body on the table at the side of the bathtub, he also took out the woman¡¯s body from the ice tub and placed it at Caruncle¡¯s side, but he didn¡¯t look at her, he only kept staring at Custodio, hearing his story.


    ¡±What happened after he entered is still unknown, what is said is that it didn¡¯t end up well.¡± Custodio took a small hammer and a thick nail that was below the table, and after cleaning them a bit with a rag, he directed himself back to Caruncle. ¡°The blood he carried ended up being passed to his children, and those children ended up extending through the whole planet. The whole human race in this world, came into existence¡± He put the nail in front of Caruncle¡¯s head in the middle of his two eyes, and raised the hammer with his right hand. Caruncle stayed still, no longer thinking further about what he was seeing with his own eyes. ¡°His blood is the venom you and I carry inside.¡± With a quick movement of his arm, he slammed the hammer into the nail with all his strength, one instant after that, Caruncle was met with pure darkness.


    I saw Custodio splitting Caruncle¡¯s skull in two. After forcing his hands for a while, he managed to open it completely and managed to reach the brain, he was starting to forcefully cut the connections towards the spinal cord, but I couldn¡¯t keep looking further, I looked towards the woman lying at Caruncle¡¯s side, and I realized that her skull was empty, her eyes were hastily glued together, but the head was wide open, which terrified me. I couldn¡¯t feel anything anymore probably due to the shock. I turned around once again and closed my eyes. For a long while I heard Custodio working on getting Caruncle¡¯s brain out with his own skull with his bare hands, I was about to start crying.


    I got close to Caruncle, if his soul started to leave this realm soon, that would be the last moments I could spend with him. I got close to him and tried to reach him, feel him, there was darkness, only darkness, no feeling, no thought, no sound, no emotion. I opened my eyes and looked back at Custodio, he had hastily placed Caruncle¡¯s brain inside the woman¡¯s skull and then continued working on it.


    I closed my eyes and stayed with Caruncle for a long while, maybe now that he was dead, he could finally feel me, but there was still nothing, nothing, time passed, but there was nothing inside him, nothing around him, he was gone. It was when I started to feel my own mind dissipating away that we were hit with a sensation of pure and freezing cold. Suddenly, Caruncle¡¯s heart started to beat once again, and after a couple of seconds, he grasped for air and opened his eyes in shock.


    I backed away on that instant and looked back at him, but it wasn¡¯t Caruncle who was moving, it was the woman at his side, his body was lying there on the table, pale and stiff. The woman¡¯s body was shivering due to the cold after being left in the bathtub for so long. There were marks on the skull and some on the limbs and torso, but some of the hair managed to cover part of the head.


    I reached Caruncle again, the body had opened its eyes but he couldn¡¯t see anything more than the blinding light of the weak candle at the top of the room.


    ¡°Close your eyes, your body is still weak, so now, I need you to rest.¡± Caruncle obeyed, but couldn¡¯t stop shivering. He took a big worn out blanket from below the table and covered the shivering body with it and then opened the door of the room once again. Afterwards, he took the body again in his arms and carried it out of the room.


    ¡°I appreciate you have accepted my proposal, Elena.¡± He said this time with a relaxed tone, but still a stiff expression on his face, and he walked up the stairs.

 11. A Change

    Caruncle woke up with a headache. All his body felt sore and sticky, he had been sweating for a long time. He opened his eyes and looked around the room.


    ¡°An unfamiliar ceiling.¡± He thought.


    I looked around the room too, everything was white, like¡­ the ceiling was white, the walls were white, the floor, the curtains, the bed sheets, everything, everything was white, which kinda creeped me out. I saw he had an IV drop that went inside into his left arm, which surprised me. An IV drop? An IV drop? Thank God or whoever else it wasn''t a nasogastric tube. Still, quite a weird sight.


    Despite having spent for so long without sunlight, Caruncle¡¯s new eyes managed to adjust to the light coming from windows in a short time, the whole sky was white too, or well, gray, the day was cloudy, but I didn¡¯t see that many black clouds threatening to rain, what I didn¡¯t know was if it was afternoon or morning at all. He extended his hands in front of his face. Fingers, he had all his fingers yet again, he tried to move them and they reacted rather normally as before. I don¡¯t want to talk about the time he spent without them, I won¡¯t talk about it, I won¡¯t, I won¡¯t, and I won¡¯t, I won''t! I will just say he felt rather¡­ Okay, I don¡¯t know how to describe how he felt. Just know that if you ever lost your fingers, but, one day, you kinda just... got them back again because of incredible circumstances, that¡¯s something you can¡¯t really explain, there aren¡¯t any words for that kind of sensation. He kept opening and closing his hand over and over again, for a long while.


    And I mean, a long while.


    I had to wait for him to get out of the trance, but once he stopped, it was finally time to pay attention to the rest of his body. He touched his face little by little, he knew his nose well, and this one had a different, smaller and less pronounced bulbous tip. He touched his eyes, his forehead, his cheeks and his chin. The form of the chin and the cheeks was harder to remember, but he didn¡¯t feel any sort of hair on it? So that was something, at least.


    He touched his head, his hair was rather short, it seemed it was covering his whole head despite what I saw first the other night, it wasnt in patches, it wasn''t cut weirdly, it was still short but it was growing normally. He took a strand of hair and put it in front of his face. It probably didn¡¯t go past his shoulder, but it was of a clear, blonde color. The hair felt a bit greasy and it was disheveled, but he liked the color. He then touched his lips, the lips¡­ well, the lips were lips, I don¡¯t think he ever paid any attention to his lips, these didn¡¯t feel any different, or perhaps less dry? He wasn¡¯t sure either way.


    What was left to see was the rest of his body.


    He didn¡¯t sit down, he didn¡¯t look down or pass his hand all over the other parts of himself, he just lowered his hand and hid it again below the bed sheets. He continued looking at the ceiling while leaving his mind completely blank.


    What is it, Caruncle? What are you afraid of? Why don¡¯t you check your own body, man? Isn¡¯t this what you wanted? Go ahead, nobody will say anything, tits, boobs, vagina, vagina, pussy, boobs, tits, that¡¯s what you want to feel, right? You have the body you want now, it¡¯s yours, so feel it, what''s the problem?


    Sigh, he wasn¡¯t doing it.


    I wonder if anyone will ever wonder when will I stop calling Caruncle a guy, the answer is¡­ never, never, why would I stop calling him a guy? I knew what he was from the very beginning, and my perception of him wasn¡¯t gonna change any time soon.


    He let his mind wander on its own, it didn¡¯t feel real, nothing had felt real ever since long ago, he thought that one of those days he perhaps would wake up back again on that library, or back in his family¡¯s home in Vadorreal, but he never did, it was all in fact, real. I myself wondered what would even be of his life next and there were a thousand and one questions going through my head right now! Where he was going to go, what he was going to do, what even had been of his family, everything, everything was passing through my head at incredible speeds and I couldn¡¯t keep up with it¡­ but nothing to me felt real either, perhaps this spooky spectrum of sorts was already losing her grasp in the earthly plane. I needed to ground myself, I needed to understand the present moment and understand what was really happening, because everything that just had happened hadn¡¯t made any sense, I just didn¡¯t understand¡­ anything. What was even going on?


    We finally heard the door open, Custodio and Mortimer entered the room. Mortimer was holding a silver platter with a glass of water. I noticed Custodio was still wearing the trench coat that we had seen when we met him. Did he ever take of that dusty thing?


    ¡°I see that you are finally awake.¡± Custodio said, ¡°Mortimer.¡± He looked at the butler and the butler handed Caruncle the glass of water, which forced him to finally sit down. Slowly by putting his hand to support himself on the bed, he sat down and laid his back on the header of the bed. He noticed the subtle weight shift of his chest but tried to ignore it, and drank the glass of water. Coward.


    ¡°How long has it been now, Mortimer?¡±


    ¡°I believe it has been 3 months, sir.¡±


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    ¡°3 months, the same as the last one, correct?¡±


    ¡°Correct, sir, waking times have been 3 months at least after surgery."


    ¡°Hmm, I see.¡± Custodio sounded frustrated. ¡°Now, how do you feel?¡± He asked him.


    Caruncle put the glass of water back in the platter and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came, he moved his tongue and he felt he choked on saliva, he tried again, but nothing happened, he was getting nervous and looked at Caruncle and Mortimer, he then saw the both of them were holding their laughter.


    ¡°Pfft Hahaha!¡± The two finally cackled, which pissed me off. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I just can¡¯t resist doing that, it''s too funny.¡± Custodio told him. Caruncle looked at the men in confusion, he was getting nervous. ¡°Elena has never been able to speak, it¡¯s something I always tried to investigate with her, the first brain transplants were to see if that would fix the issue, but the problem seems to be located around the nerves of the throat, sorry, but it''s out of my area of expertise.¡±


    Caruncle looked at him with a stunned face. I probably did the same too. What?


    ¡°She¡¯s going through the shock phase, sir.¡±


    ¡°Yes, prepare a tranquilizer if she goes overboard, we don¡¯t want to repeat past incidents.¡±


    He extended his hands and shaked his head with a puzzling expression as if asking for answers.


    ¡°Miss Elena,¡± Mortimer answered, ¡°that body you have is mute, you are mute."


    That was the stupidest thing ever. Mute? Mute? For fucks sake!


    ¡°I told you to say your last words the other night, I was being serious.¡± Custodio told him with a smirk while he lit a cigar.


    Time seemed to dilate at that moment. Mute, mute, mute, it was like a bad joke. I breathed in and out slowly and tried to calmed down. I tried to look at Custodio, but couldn''t. The bastard, the bastard had turned the transplant into a fucking joke, and Caruncle was his punchline. Mute, fucking mute. Caruncle, I can''t talk to people, you can''t talk to people either, it seems that you and I aren''t so different after all! Ha. I looked at Caruncle, but he was still in shock.


    If I could just take that man''s throat with my own damn hands!


    Back with Caruncle, he noticed that Mortimer was handing him a hand mirror.


    ¡°Miss Elena, are you back with us?¡± Mortimer told him.


    Caruncle took the hand mirror and tried to sit further from the header of the bed so he could use the light coming out of the windows, we then both slowly looked into its surface.


    I saw myself in the mirror.


    ¡°I think she looks quite pleased, sir.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, this one looks... absent minded.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but notice how she hasn¡¯t made a tantrum, I think she¡¯s just trying to adjust. Did you finally follow my advice this time?¡±


    ¡°I wanted to try your proposal some time ago, Mortimer, but finding slaves with these kinds of desires is not that easy.¡±


    ¡°Oh so you did find someone! It was my theory that this would increase the acceptance of the procedure a lot more.¡±


    ¡°Mortimer, not in here.¡±


    ¡°Right, sir, my apologies.¡±


    The face was beautiful, just beautiful, the girl looked very pale, sure, but her features were¡­ elegant, she had big, almond-shaped eyes of a blue color. Her cheeks were gently rounded, giving her face a soft appearance. The contours of her cheeks flowed seamlessly into her delicate jawline. Her chin was slightly pointed and overall she was¡­ I don¡¯t know how to say this, I think I just had fallen in love, I had fallen in love with her.


    Caruncle had turned into a beautiful girl!


    I was happy, really happy, but I realized the girl looked sad, and not just that, but also slightly scared. She couldn¡¯t believe what she was seeing, the poor thing! I wanted to help her, I wanted to help her so badly, calm her down, hug her, tell her everything would be okay, but I couldn¡¯t, and that made me sad too.


    ¡°Okay, I think that¡¯s enough.¡± We both were taken away from our thoughts by Custodio¡¯s voice who ordered Mortimer to take the mirror away from Caruncle. ¡°So, I take it you are in a good disposition with the result of our agreement.¡± He looked at her. From her own part, she just looked at him with the eyes of a puppy, a puppy that had just gotten food and drink from a human in the street as if they had just been saved from starvation and finally felt the warmth of love for the first time in their lives.


    ¡°Well, in that case I hope you haven¡¯t forgotten about the rest of the agreement, Elena.¡±


    Caruncle looked down and then again at Custodio, he had accepted to go through the surgery, but he didn¡¯t know he was even going to survive, looking back at the other night almost made him laugh.


    ¡°You will be taken care of and you will start studying under Mortimer¡¯s wing because I want my own daughter to be properly behaved and well studied, that¡¯s what you will dedicate yourself for the time being.¡±


    Caruncle tried to mouth the words ¡°yes sir¡±, but he didn¡¯t have success with that either, so he just nodded slowly.


    ¡°But see, there is a part of that agreement I didn¡¯t tell you back then, I used to tell the people who came here right away before the procedure since I wanted to be sincere, but nobody really wanted to accept, so I was forced myself to not mention that part of the agreement until after the surgery was done, nevertheless, even if you don¡¯t want to do it, you will still shall go with it since you have already accepted to my conditions when I accepted you into my family.¡±


    Caruncle tilted his head, he realized his heart was still racing and that it was hard for him to breathe. Custodio said something I didn''t quite catch, I didn¡¯t hear it, and neither did Caruncle, no, we couldn''t focus in anything else yet, it was too much, too much. He pushed the thought into the back of his mind and I did the same too.


    ¡°By now you can focus on rest during today and maybe tomorrow, but once you are fully recovered, your education will begin. That will be all.¡± He turned around and walked towards the door. ¡°Mortimer, make sure Elena''s needs are all taken care of, bring the small whiteboard maker to the room.¡±


    ¡°Right away, sir.¡±


    The both of them left the room and Caruncle lied down back again on the bed. What did he say just before that? Well, that didn¡¯t matter yet, it didn''t matter yet, it didn¡¯t matter, it didn¡¯t matter. He focused on the little stomach butterflies that were flying in his stomach at being called Miss Elena, Miss Elena, that sounded like music to his ears, like birds chirping when the sun is slowly raising, like a beautiful blue sky or the caressing of the wind. In the meantime I thought about the girl¡¯s beautiful face that Caruncle was wearing, we did actually hear little birds sing outside and we felt the breeze from the garden outside caress us delicately, nothing else mattered, nothing else mattered, only the present moment, only the present moment was important. We then both fell asleep.

 12. An Accident

    The pits of hell, the place where nobody can¡¯t hear you, where nobody will come to rescue you, where you are left all alone, to rot until you die. You want the end to come, but the moment never arrives and you are left with a miserable existence where reality blends with fantasy, and pain and joy become the same thing. In his sleep, Caruncle had ended back to the basement where he had been chained away for a decade. Why would anyone do something so awful like that? To chain a human being? Even if he was worthless, why didn''t his existence just end right away? Why was his pain extended for so long? Nobody could hear him, he felt alone, so alone, he pitied himself for so long. He felt rage, so much rage that the thought of killing a human being crossed his mind, yes, he wanted to kill every single human being in existence, his rage almost drove him mad, he screamed for days and days, he remembered the pain in his hand, he remember the tears in his eyes, he remembered asking himself over and over what had he even done to deserve such a treatment. There were horrors that he didn¡¯t have imagined until then, he had let his mind leave his body in the hopes that one day he would finally die.


    And then he woke up.


    It seemed to be midnight, for the whole room was dark and the lights were out. Only the pale light of the moon came through the window and no sound was heard inside or outside.


    He couldn¡¯t forget, I know he wanted to forget, but he couldn¡¯t forget. It was impossible to believe, but he had actually left the basement, he was out, somehow. If this was the real world or not, he didn¡¯t know, but he was starting to think it didn¡¯t matter any longer, if his mind was giving him the opportunity to feel free again, he was going to take it. He remembered the anger he felt back in the basement, he felt angry towards Mr. Lopez, towards his family, and towards himself. He had given up but now he could feel the dry seed of his hate sprout yet again in the deep insides of his heart.


    ¡°Better not think about that yet,¡± he thought, he had to assess his situation. He had said yes to a man who he thought was going to kill him, but against all odds and circumstances¡­ the man didn¡¯t, he gave him a new life, I guess you had been somewhat lucky, you idiot man. Miracles did in fact happen in real life! What were the odds?! He had just given his approval to the most ridiculous procedure in existence for fuck¡¯s sake! Now, he was sleeping in a foreign bed that apparently belonged to him. He was going back in his steps trying to understand how did even end in a situation like that, what did he exactly do to escape his despair? Nothing. He tried to remember what was going through his mind when he accepted the procedure, but he didn¡¯t get anything. He just nodded to the man in an almost reflective manner, but he didn¡¯t actually believe what the man was actually saying back then.


    He always had been stupid, he had been sent into a different world because he was stupid, he had gained the hatred of his new family because he was stupid, he ended as a slave because he was stupid, he lost his ability of speech because he was stupid, but at the very least, that had been the entirety of his misfortune.


    No, there was something even worse that was happening, it was what Custodio had said earlier that day, but he didn¡¯t want to remember what it was. Now, you must apologize for my words about him, it is not my wish to insult him any longer, but right now that¡¯s what he was thinking about himself and I was just hearing him out.


    In that moment he was feeling quite anxious, he felt his heart palpitating very fast, the whole reality of the situation was falling on him like a bucket of cold water, his body was different, the place he was living was yet again one he didn''t know. He had been in hell for an eternity, and now he was wearing a different shell, what the hell was happening? He panicked, afraid that he wasn¡¯t able to distinguish reality from fiction anymore, he said to himself, ¡°hey, I¡¯m safe now, I have a bed again, I''m alive again,¡± but no Caruncle, I¡¯m sorry, but you weren¡¯t, you weren¡¯t safe. He finally remembered the words Custodio said to him earlier in the day.


    ¡°Even if you don¡¯t want to do it, you will still go with it since you have already accepted my conditions when I accepted you into my family. Once you finish your education with Mortimer and have learned proper manners, you will stop being my daughter and you will turn into my wife.¡±


    I panicked and jumped out of the bed, the IV dropped into the floor and I pushed it away from his arm, I opened the door of the room and ran through the dark hallways of the manor, I started panting, my legs felt really sore, really sore. I wasn¡¯t probably running faster than what a normal person walked, but I ran and I ran because I wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible. I didn¡¯t know what was real and was not and I was about to lose my mind. I ran through a dark hallway illuminated by only the pale moonlight, but the hallway seemed endless, and after a few minutes I ended up losing my balance and fell through one of the windows into the garden. I screamed, but nothing came out.


    I was twisting from pain because I had fallen into my left leg and now it was hurting horribly, I twisted over and over until I heard Mortimer coming towards me.


    ¡°Miss Elena! I heard the window break! What were you doing?¡±


    I kept twisting over and over from pain, I heard the big steps of Custodio getting closer and closer.


    ¡°What is going on here?¡± He yelled


    ¡°Sir, it seems she has fallen out of the window, please, bring me the first aid kit!¡±


    ¡°No, I''d rather take her to her room and treat her there.¡±


    ¡°Alright, sir!¡±


    Custodio took me in his arms and then I was carried over to Elena''s bedroom. They injected me with something, probably something to calm me down, for the pain was dulling away, but I was also feeling sleepy again too. The ghostly mantle that always embraced me came back to me and I finally went back into my ethereal form. I realized it was me who had been controlling Ellena¡¯s body and not Caruncle the whole time, somehow, I had possessed her and in the panic, I ran away from the place.


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    How did I do it? I don¡¯t know! But it was the most surreal experience I have the memory of, it is one thing to feel things as a ghost. Sometimes it is more like being told about a sensation than actually having it at all, sometimes, your senses feel all dull and you felt more like a passenger in a cab than anything else, but this, this had felt real. I felt the pain, the fear, of what was that fear of? I don¡¯t know, I wasn¡¯t in my right mind when I stormed out of the place.


    ¡°How much blood did she lose?¡± Mortimer asked.


    "The tubing broke, but thankfully, the IV and catheter remained intact. The bleeding was minimal, just a small trickle from where the catheter dislodged. As for her leg, there are no broken bones, but it seems she has some muscle injuries from the fall."


    ¡°Miss, it seems you will be alright.¡± Mortimer told Caruncle. ¡°Thankfully this is just a second floor, now, can you tell us what made you run away so suddenly from your bedroom?¡± He handed him the small chalkboard and he started to slowly write with his right hand. I was dying to know what he would say about the event, I couldn¡¯t quite hear his thoughts about the matter and I wanted to know if he had felt me, if he knew I was there.


    ¡°I had a panic attack.¡± He wrote.


    ¡°Oh, Miss!¡± Mortimer put his hand over Caruncle¡¯s hand. ¡°I must have known, you have gone through quite stressful days, it wouldn¡¯t be weird for you to get exasperated.¡±


    ¡°This is my fault,¡± Custodio said. ¡°I left to sleep by myself because I was tired, seeing that you didn¡¯t have any tantrums when you woke up, I thought we could let you be for the night, I was wrong.¡±


    ¡°Miss, if you have any attacks like this again, you can reach me in my room, alright? It should be the one at the very end of the hallway, to the left.¡± Mortimer caressed Caruncle¡¯s hand and he let himself go by the butterflies in his stomach. It was fine, he didn¡¯t have to think about the future, he didn¡¯t have to think about the past, he didn¡¯t have to think about anything yet, he only had to focus on the present moment, that he was now a Miss, Miss. He was Miss Elena now, that¡¯s what all it mattered.


    ¡°I¡¯m going back to rest.¡± Custodio said, ¡°I will need you to take care of her until the morning, please don¡¯t leave this room.¡±


    ¡°Yes sir, I¡¯ll stay here and make sure the lady can sleep well.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll talk in the morning,¡± Custodio said and finally left the bedroom.


    ¡°Miss, amiss all of this, I haven¡¯t had the chance to ask you, how are you feeling? How are you taking all this? I know that this must have been quite the ordeal for you, I want to know your feelings about the matter, is this what you wanted?¡±


    Caruncle thought about it and slowly wrote on the small chalkboard again.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know yet.¡±


    Jesus you are hollow. You could have written anything else.


    ¡°I ask the brain donors if they would like to be treated as women in private because a lot of them don''t like their new place in society. It helps them calm down a little when they aren''t with Mr. Esparza, so now let me ask you, would you still like me to call you miss? At least, while we are alone?¡± What a weird question.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    He quickly wrote.


    ¡°Splendid! If you change your mind, you can let me know, alright? I must follow all the orders from the master of the manor, but I also like our donors to be comfortable with their new role.¡±


    That was it, a question that could distract his mind, Caruncle took the board again and wrote.


    ¡°How many donors have gone through this?¡±


    ¡°Oh! Please, don''t worry about any of that, I was just letting my mouth run free. But please, trust me, if you think you will be thrown away, it is not that easy, for Mister Esparza doesn''t like to do surgery so often to his own daughter, you are now his daughter and please believe me when I say he does get attached to every daughter he has had. All of them that have gone through that body. He wouldn''t get rid of you unless you give him a very good reason, so please, forgive him if you see him always in a bad mood, for every surgery and every donor he has gone through he has felt the pain of the death of a family member.¡±


    Caruncle looked like he was about to ask something, but Mortimer stopped him by holding out his hand.


    ¡°If you are going to ask me what the other donors did, please remember it''s all in the past, it''s all in the past now and what matters is the present. I will be working for you as long as I''m alive, I will make sure that your stay in this manor is as pleasant as possible, for I am your servant, my lady.¡±


    Caruncle blushed.


    ¡°Judging by the colors of your cheeks I will assume that you are rather fond of your new position, which makes me glad. Men that went through the procedure felt shocked, the ladies handled it better but they were still quite uneasy after looking in the mirror. I first suggested to Mister Esparza to try with a donor that had lost one of their senses or their own mobility, my theory was that recovering part of what they had lost would help them accept the procedure, but we had very little luck finding any donors like this, for disabled people aren''t preferred as slaves around these areas. Then, I suggested Custodio to find someone like you. I''m really happy we managed to meet, my dear.¡± He told her, while caressing her cheek, his hand was very wrinkly and even cold, but she was feeling happy with the gesture while it also grounded her in the present moment.


    ¡°Now, please go back to sleep, Miss Elena, for tomorrow will be your funeral.¡±


    Caruncle got startled, he looked at the man and felt a chill down his spine.


    ¡°No need to be afraid, miss!¡± He chuckled. ¡°I''m talking about your old body, it has been laying on its coffin for three months, but we have been waiting for you to do the funeral ceremony. It is always an important part of the process since we feel it will help you enter into the role of this new life we have given to you.¡±


    Caruncle looked down, thinking about what he was going to see.


    ¡°Most of it might be already decomposed, but we made sure to conserve it to keep it as recognisable as possible, so you can properly say goodbye.¡±


    Caruncle looked at Mortimer with a sense of wonder, he was asking himself if the man was just messing up with him, but if he wasn''t, wouldn''t he actually like to see that body rotting away to finally be buried with the rest of the worms on the earth? No, wait, those were crass thoughts.


    ¡°Ha,¡± Mortimer smiled, ¡°I like that look in your eyes, now, go back to sleep, I''ll be sitting here on this dusty old chair, making sure you have sweet dreams, trust me, if you have any more nightmares or uneasy sleep, I''ll wake you up, okay?¡±


    Caruncle finally lied down and closed his eyes. Before he fell asleep again, I looked outside and paid attention to the moonlight for a little while. With how bright the night felt, the outside didn''t feel so scary. I only had to focus on the present moment and I was able to keep my mind at ease. Caruncle did the same, and then, he managed to get asleep. Myself though? I was still curious, because what had just happened that night left me in deep thought. I had managed to possess Caruncle, I had gained control of his body and, even if for a little while, I went back to the land of the living. He hadn''t even noticed! That idiot hadn''t noticed at all! How it had happened, I didn''t know, I didn''t know, but the ideas were now creeping in. I thought that maybe I could¡­ do it again? Maybe if I tried somehow? It felt wrong, it obviously felt wrong, but to feel alive yet again¡­ in that moment I thought that, even if it was just for one night, feeling alive one more time would be worth anything in the whole world.

 13. A Corpse

    A rose, a beautiful rose, a rose in a garden of hundreds of lilies, that¡¯s what Caruncle was. I remember I had said I wouldn¡¯t stop treating her like a guy, but a new sensation had born from her insides, embarrassment, deep and delightful embarrassment, and I was enjoying every bit of it. The way she became self conscious, that she felt so guilty about it and winced at the sensation. I loved it, I loved it all, if it meant to make see her for the rest of her life in embarrassment, I would keep doing it forever. I knew she couldn¡¯t hear me, but I still wanted to embarrass her in front of everyone. That¡¯s right, Caruncle was a woman.


    The morning light had finally come, although the day was still clouded. Vadorreal was a city of around 2500 meters at sea level, which made it very cold, and a lot of the time, very foggy too, also since it was also in the tropics, it stayed like that for most of the year. This place though? I didn¡¯t know where it was, but it felt just as cold, if not colder. When Caruncle¡­ when Caruncle was taken by Mr. Lopez, he was put unconscious, and we had never known how far away from the city we had gone.


    Mortimer woke her up, she slowly sat down on the bed but realized that it was hard to move her injured leg. The butler brought her a wheelchair and helped her sit down on it. Before she could take the small chalkboard to ask him where the manor was actually located, he started taking her somewhere else. She looked at him trying to gain his attention.


    ¡°Miss, it is time for your bath, while you were asleep we couldn¡¯t give you a proper bath so we had to use a wet towel, it¡¯s way overdue now! Don¡¯t you think so?¡±


    Caruncle frowned.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, I¡¯ll help. No no, don¡¯t look at me like that, I know it¡¯s gonna be awkward, and you will have to apologize me for intruding, but it will be only while you fully recover, besides, taking a bath is part of the process, ma¡¯am. Trust me, I¡¯m almost like a second father to each and every one of our donors here, I¡¯ll be quick, and the parts that you can do yourself, you¡¯ll do them, trust me, it¡¯ll do you lots of good!¡±


    He couldn¡¯t be serious.


    In the bathroom, she was slowly undressed and then placed in the bathtub. Mortimer gave her a bar of soap. ¡°Go ahead, ma¡¯am, through your arms, legs, everything you can reach, in the meantime I¡¯ll do your hair.¡± He put her some shampoo and started to slowly massage her head. She looked down and for a split second saw the rest of her body. ¡°See, Caruncle?¡± I thought, there wasn¡¯t anything weird to see there, they weren¡¯t even that big, they weren¡¯t going to bite, they were just there. She slowly passed the soap through each limb while she focused on the green wall tiles of the bathroom and tried to clear her mind.


    ¡°You know, ma¡¯am¡­.¡± Mortimer interrupted, she focused her eyes again and tilted her head a bit so she could hear him better. ¡°It¡¯s always fascinating to see how the personality of other people comes out when they, well, if you let me be a little rash, when they can¡¯t speak, it''s rather curious to see, you know, a lot of people get really frustrated, well I imagine they also get frustrated because of the result of the procedure, all those sorts of things, but sometimes they are weirdly cooperative and sometimes they start throwing things around, it can be a mess you see, and when you can¡¯t hear what they are saying, it takes time to communicate, but you ma¡¯am, you have been very kind and¡­ how do I say this properly, you have been quite helpful. Can you imagine all the trouble I have gone through when I tell people they have to take their bath? Anyway, that doesn¡¯t matter, again, I just let my mouth run free and start speaking about the previous donors, but please, don¡¯t pay attention to me, sometimes this old man just gets a little bored, not that the job isn¡¯t rewarding on its own, of course.¡±


    This dude was a little annoying. Caruncle made a little smirk, she was thankful that at least the butler was able to break the ice.


    ¡°Oh, what is that smile for? Did I say something funny?¡± He smiled.


    She tried to mouth the word yes but yet again, she couldn¡¯t make the expression, her lips would get stuck.


    ¡°My dear, please, if you are trying to talk to me, that can wait until the bath is over, no need to tire yourself out!¡±


    That frustrated her. She wanted to tell the man she was just saying yes, but now she couldn¡¯t even say yes, she couldn¡¯t say anything. Too bad, Caruncle, get used to it, what are you gonna do? Go back to your other body? The one that is rotting away in a coffin? What are you going to say? Ask for another surgery?


    Sorry, sorry, I just¡­ I thought it was time she had her mind unclogged a little. We both have gone through a lot and I¡­ Well, I don¡¯t want to talk about it either, I don¡¯t really want to talk about it, sometimes I just¡­ feel really sad. I feel really sad. I feel useless and pointless. I¡¯m just a ghost, what can a ghost do? Jack shit, a ghost can¡¯t do jack shit. I just observe and think about what other people do, I¡¯m nothing, I¡¯m just a pile of worthless garbage.


    Caruncle focused on the reflection of the lady in the water, it was blurry and fuzzy, but she could see her and her sad expression looking back at her. It was curious though, somehow, she felt like the reflection was¡­ changing. No, really, it was changing, Caruncle made sure she wasn¡¯t actually doing faces on her own, but the face in the reflection was changing, the woman in the water was looking at her with anger. Her heart started beating faster, and faster, was there something in the water? She felt the reflection was creeping in closer, and closer¡­ Caruncle was swept inside the water and she started drowning.


    Heh, don¡¯t worry, she was just slowly slipping inside the bathtub and hadn¡¯t noticed until she suddenly fell when her whole back had touched the back of the tub, it wasn¡¯t actually the spirit of the original Elena coming back for revenge or anything like that, trust me. The only lost soul that was haunting Caruncle was me, me and only me.


    ¡°Oh God!¡± Mortimer panicked and tried to help her out of the bathtub, he extended his arms and after a while, Caruncle finally managed to get her head and arms out. She scowled at Mortimer. ¡°Miss, please, don¡¯t get mad at me, I was just doing your hair and I thought you were trying to lie down!¡±


    She wiped the soapy water off her face and sat with her back against Mortimer so they could continue. She was mad she couldn¡¯t talk about what happened and just wanted to get over with it. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s continue, this time more carefully.¡± Mortimer didn¡¯t notice but she ended up crying the rest of the bath. Back when they were at the side of her bed, Mortimer handed her the small chalkboard. ¡°Now, would you like to tell me what happened there that got you so startled?¡± Caruncle had to wipe away the previous stuff she had written on it and it already looked somewhat dirty, once she got the space, she wrote. ¡°I just got a little scared, I think I saw Elena  mad at me in the water.¡±


    ¡°Elena? But you are Elena!¡±


    ¡°Not me, the real Elena.¡± She wrote back.


    ¡°Miss, please, don¡¯t say stuff like that. Now, I hope you don¡¯t believe in ghost stories or anything of the sort, okay? There is no way the first Miss Elena could be mad at you!¡±


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    ¡°I took her place.¡± She wrote, some tears had fallen into the chalkboard and she lowered her head.


    ¡°Oh, Elena, my poor Elena,¡± Mortimer patted her on the head. It¡¯ll be okay, I promise it will.


    They stayed like that for a while and then Mortimer left saying he was going to finish the preparations for the funeral. He said he would let her get dressed on her own, but that she could use the hand bell he left her on the desk if she had issues. Caruncle tried to get quickly dressed because she didn¡¯t want to see more of her own body. She still felt guilty.


    The attire was a blouse of a deep navy color, it was patterned with faint motifs and over the blouse she had an intricately embroidered velvet waistcoat with lace-trimmed sleeves. No bra, no, there was a corset, but Mortimer told her she didn¡¯t have to wear it the first day. She also had loose, flowing trousers tucked into low, sturdy boots. The trousers were loose enough so after a few minutes she managed to put them on, it had hurt a lot to move the damned leg, but at least she wouldn¡¯t feel cold. She felt a chill from her neck from the breeze from the window so she put on the wide-brimmed black hat that was on the desk.


    ¡°Miss, you are ready!¡± Mortimer came back right after she finished. ¡°Come with me, it¡¯s time, your father is waiting in the garden, I don¡¯t know if you saw him, I think you can see him from the window, but well, no matter, it is time. He¡¯ll love seeing you well dressed!¡± He grabbed the back handles of the wheelchair and pushed it out of the room and through the hallway. ¡°There are a lot of beautiful flowers in the garden ma¡¯am, you¡¯ll love to see them. Some orchids, marigolds, heliconias, and tons of roses! You shall see how beautiful they are¡ªyes, you will."


    I didn¡¯t know what the guy was going on about, I thought that, yes, Caruncle looked pretty, but she still looked very sad and her eyes were a bit red, the man had an unwavering enthusiasm that was now annoying me a little. She also had a hole in her stomach and her heart was beating strongly and loudly, she was scared about how he was going to react to the body itself once she saw it. The butler turned the wheelchair toward a ramp, guiding it backwards down the gentle slope until they got to the first floor. I looked around at the place, the manor was huge, it was more of a mansion than a manor, and yes, everything was built in wood, the stairs were in wood, the big ceiling was in wood. Very classy, very elegant, although a bit¡­ empty, were the three of them the only people in the house?


    ¡°I hope you are enjoying the manor, miss. I always found it quite lovely too, once you fully recover, you will be able to see it in due time, as long as your father allows it, of course.¡±


    Caruncle noticed a longcase clock at the side of the entrance. It was quite a beautiful clock; I noticed it too. It was carefully crafted, its polished wood gleaming softly in the dim light, and the intricate brass pendulum swung with a steady, deliberate rhythm. The pendulum sounded really lovely.


    ¡°Oh, I see you have liked the clock, ma¡¯am!¡± The old man interrupted us, maybe he noticed how Caruncle was looking at the clock in awe like an idiot. ¡°After the funeral maybe I can tell you more about it!¡±


    Finally, we made it outside. The day was as foggy as ever, and we realized we should have paid closer attention to the clock¡ªwe had no idea what time it was. As we looked around, Mortimer''s mention of a garden seemed quite the understatement, for what lay before us were vast green fields stretching endlessly. A labyrinth of tall hedges wound its way through the landscape, with flowers visible in the distance. I was in awe at the sheer expanse of the place. Near the entrance of the hedge maze stood a massive tree.


    ¡°Well, you don¡¯t see those every day,¡± I thought, I was quite sure I had never actually seen one of those ever, I had only read about them. Now that I was seeing one in person, I had to admit they were quite ludicrous.


    Mortimer slowly guided Caruncle, and as we turned, we noticed a cemetery beside the maze, with at least a few dozen graves scattered across the area. We reached another large tree where a freshly dug grave awaited, with a coffin laid on its side nearby. Three chairs were arranged in a solemn row, and Custodio stood quietly, waiting.


    ¡°It took you long enough,¡± Custodio remarked, not bothering to look back at them. His gaze was fixed on the coffin.


    ¡°My apologies, sir. The lady here got a little distracted by the clock.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±


    ¡°My lady,¡± Mortimer said softly as he slowly maneuvered Caruncle¡¯s wheelchair so she could face the body. ¡°It is time.¡± She had turned away to avoid the sight, but now, close enough, she peeked through her fingers and forced herself to look at it.


    The body lay in the open casket, dressed in a black, slightly oversized suit. It had been preserved with a cold, almost unnatural stillness. The skin was pale, nearly translucent, with a faint bluish tint from prolonged exposure to the cold. The flesh appeared firm, almost rigid. The lips were drawn tight, and the closed eyelids seemed sunken, giving the face an eerie, hollow appearance. A faint discoloration marred the area around the mouth and nostrils. The hands, folded neatly over the chest, were slightly shriveled, the fingers thin and stiff, the nails dull and lifeless.


    It looked horrible¡ªnothing in her life had looked more horrifying. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her breath came in short, panicked gasps. Yet, instead of turning away, she found herself moving closer, inch by inch, until she was near enough to touch it if she wanted. She slowly extended her hand, trembling, her fingers hovering just above the body without actually making contact. Her eyes were wide with a mix of fear and fascination. That was him¡ªthe man. She stared at the face, that awful, repulsive face. It nearly made her gag, but she didn¡¯t look away. Instead, she kept staring, detailing every gruesome feature. What an awful and disgusting human being. The man, now through her eyes and having suffered the fate of death, looked as the most revolting creature that had ever existed. She wanted to touch it, she was so close to touch it, but in the back of her mind, she imagined that if she did, she would end up returning back inside of it and getting trapped forever yet again. She didn¡¯t dare to touch it, but she felt how her fingers brushed ever so slightly against the suit.


    A part of her expected the body to spring to life, to attack her. She found herself taunting it in her mind, daring it to do something, anything, as she sat there, the body lying motionless before her. The entire experience felt surreal, intoxicating even¡ªthere she was, alive and outside, while he lay there, reduced to a lifeless shell. A surge of frustration welled up inside her at the body¡¯s stillness, and on impulse, she leaned forward, intent on kissing it, only to be abruptly pulled away.


    ¡°Miss! Miss!¡± Mortimer exclaimed, quickly pulling the chair back so she could no longer reach the coffin. ¡°Heh, I guess you were quite¡­ taken by our preservation techniques, weren¡¯t you?¡± He laughed nervously, noting the smile still lingering on her face and the wide-eyed amusement in her expression. ¡°We¡­ uh¡­ we basically kept the body in an icebox, and, well¡­ It doesn''t matter that much. I think that¡¯s enough for now.¡± He turned the chair around so she was facing away from the body. She noticed Custodio raising an eyebrow at her in silent judgment.


    ¡°Alright, sir¡­ please, if you will, we can begin.¡±


    ¡°Right. Elena, look at me.¡± She was still gazing with an amused smile, seemingly lost in her thoughts. After a moment, she finally focused on Custodio, though her eyes still held a distant look.


    ¡°This is the place where our family rests. Everyone, from the first who came to this country, to those who have undergone the procedure that brought you here. I have personally ensured that each one of them received the respect they deserve. Every time someone went through the process you experienced, they became part of my family¡ªour family. When it was time to say goodbye to them, they were all laid to rest here as well. Now, we are here to bury someone else¡ªnot you, for you are still with us¡ªbut the man who brought you to us. We are burying Caruncle Periwinkle, a former servant of this house, and together, we will say our farewells."


    Caruncle looked at the graves at her side, how many of them were ¡°donors¡± and how many of them were actual family? She wanted to read the inscriptions on the graves.


    ¡°Okay, I feel I should say a few words myself too. Miss Elena, you have not been the first that has accepted to take this mantle, but you have been the first that has taken this procedure fully willingly, with the same goals we have in mind, I think that¨C¡± Mortimer was interrupted for the sound of horses sounded close by, Mortimer and Custodio turned around, after a few minutes, a caleche stopped at the side of the entrance. A small man with a woolen jacket and a flat cap sat snugly on his head came out and nervously looked around, he looked at a wrinkled paper in his hand and then back towards Mortimer and Caruncle.


    ¡°Excuse me for interrupting,¡± he said, looking at the coffin. ¡°I¡¯m looking for a man called Caruncle Periwinkle.¡±

 14. A Friend

    ¡°And who might you be?¡± Mortimer asked.


    ¡°Uh¡­ excuse me, my name is Milk, I was asked to look for information about the man around here.¡±


    ¡°Around here? What does this mean?¡± Custodio crossed his arms, compared to the cranky dude in the flat cap, the dude looked massive.


    ¡°Uh, around the area of Onzaga. I have been going through the rural area Here,¡± the guy handed Mortimer a small card. ¡°My employer is Mr. Valentin Periwinkle, he¡¯s the brother of the man I am looking for.¡±


    At the mention of Valentin, Caruncle scowled at the little guy. What the hell was Valentin looking for? He hadn¡¯t looked for her for the 10 years she had been chained to rot away. Why was he looking for him now?


    To keep track of her, yes. The mere thought made her mad.


    ¡°You got late.¡± Custodio pointed at the coffin. ¡°The guy has gone out cold.¡±


    ¡°Oh my god! Is this¡­¡± The guy walked a little closer to the coffin trying to see the body from where he was.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Mortimer answered. ¡°He was one of the servants of this manor, until today.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°He was mopping the floor and he slipped,¡± Custodio said as he turned on another cigar. ¡°He cracked his head wide open with the corner of the desk and that¡¯s the end of the story.¡±


    ¡°Mopping the floor?¡±


    ¡°Yes, any questions?¡±


    ¡°Well, his fingers¡­¡±


    ¡°Right, I guess that explains you what happened then.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I see.¡±


    ¡°I hope your discretion on this matter but¡­ this house has seen better days. I thought I could get some cheap labor if I bought him but, oh well, lesson learned, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ right, sir. Excuse me, might I take a photograph? I know this must be incredibly rude and inappropriate, but if I take a photo I can show my employer that¨C¡±


    ¡°Go ahead,¡± Custodio smiled at him as he sat down in one of the chairs at the side of the coffin. ¡°Might as well take the souvenir now that you are already here.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, sir. Please allow me¡­¡± Milk took the bulky camera from the caleche and placed the tripod on the grass, he took a while to properly set the thing and when he looked into the camera he finally noticed Caruncle¡¯s womanly form at the side. She was still scowling, breathing in and out slowly trying to dissipate the anger. ¡°Oh,¡± Milk blushed at seeing her. ¡°Excuse me miss, if I take the photo you might end up appearing on it and¨C¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Custodio waved his hand. ¡°Maybe if she appears in the photo then it wouldn¡¯t look quite as grim.¡± He chuckled.


    ¡°Haha, right, well, if you¡¯ll allow me, then¡­¡±


    Before the man took the picture, Caruncle lowered her arms and looked at the camera with her eyes wide open and an empty expression on her lips. The final photo pictured the corpse in the open casket and her polite face in the frame.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Milk put the camera back on the caleche. ¡°I think that is all, thank you for your help, sir.¡±


    ¡°Right, make sure you get to the city before the sun sets.¡±


    ¡°Y-Yes, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Have a good trip my good man!¡± Mortimer waved at him, he looked back at Caruncle one last time and blushed yet again.


    Once the man had left, Custodio stood up and looked at the girl in the wheelchair. ¡°IThat was on me, I should take care of all loose ends while you are recovering.¡± Caruncle looked at him but I don¡¯t know exactly how to describe the expression she was making. I think it was something between that annoyance she had, but there were also traces of a smile in her lips, I just thought she was angry.


    ¡°Mortimer,¡± Custodio said while keeping her eyes on hers. Both of them were looking at each other in that angry, sorta happy way that was creeping me out. ¡±Continue with the funeral.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, sir!¡± Mortimer broke off his trance, I caught him smiling at both of them, entertained by their contest.


    ¡°Miss Elena, as I have mentioned before, you aren¡¯t the first one going through this path, but I do have the hope in my heart that you and I can get along. That is all.¡± He sat down in the rusty chair and smiled at the man in the trench coat. Custodio on the other hand raised an eyebrow at him.


    ¡°Is that it?¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, sir, that will be it for the moment.¡±


    ¡°Hmph, alright. Elena, you might forgive us for the precary conditions of your funeral. I am not rather fond of priests, and while there are people I know that could help us with this ceremony, due to the nature of this burial, I hope you understand that we should keep things as quiet as possible.¡±


    ¡°Some word is spread around still about the burials your father does for his own servants, Miss Elena.¡±


    Caruncle was just looking at them trying to make sure she was actually listening, she was still thinking about the guy in the cap and the corpse behind her, the corpse she still wanted to kiss.


    ¡°Ha, many people I know do funerals for their own slaves. They just never say that stupid word out loud,¡± Custodio threw the cigar at the floor and stomped it with his foot.


    ¡°Right, sir,  please¡­ I cleaned this spot just this morning, if you could¨C¡±


    ¡°Elena, we are going to hold two minutes of silence. You cannot speak, but one minute will be for you to think your own words about your past life, the other minute will be given out of respect. All of your life, everything that happened on it, everything that you went through, we will all stay silent for a whole minute in its memory, and after this minute, that will be it. Do you understand?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Then, let us begin.¡±


    The both men stayed silent and Caruncle got to thinking. A minute for her to say anything to her old self, it was odd she had to face the damn corpse but when she tried to turn around the chair she was stopped by the butler. It was all happening so fast that for a little while I thought her brain would finally explode.


    The man behind her, the body, the vermin, the idiot, the wreck. No, no words came to her mind. She traced her steps, first it was the other world she knew, that¡­ now felt so far away¡­ and then she had to grow up yet again in this other world¡­ and, how old was she when she left? Then it was time in the basement¡­ no, the time in the basement it¡¯s not something she wanted to remember, no, then, she was here, and, she was able to write, she hadn¡¯t forgotten how to write, that was funny. There was a beautiful afternoon at the top of the hill of the Pisces Library she clearly remembered and that once she thought was enough to have given meaning to her life. She thought that maybe she could have died that day and¨C


    ¡°Now, time for the prayer.¡± Custodio stood up, I was half sure it hadn¡¯t been two minutes yet.


    ¡°She who drowses in the shadows,


    Where twilight dwells vice,


    The mistress that from her whims we dawn from,


    No more than a harlot or a whore,


    Abandoned us in this soil,


    Retaliation for our ire we still seek,


    Until we finally leave our mortal coil.¡±


    I sat down on the third chair that stayed empty, somewhat bored. After the coffin was placed inside, he started digging, throwing dirt inside it I mean, you know what I mean. Once the thing had been closed, Caruncle was finally allowed to look back at it, which I thought was weird, but well, she had been weird with the guy too, so whatever.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    The wind was blowing and I felt incredibly cold.


    ***


    "Though your movement is limited, Elena, it is no excuse to let grace falter. Even while seated, a lady must maintain the elegance that defines her station. Your back, my dear¡ªstraighten it. Imagine a string pulling you upward from the crown of your head." Mortimer repeated yet again, with the corset and bulk of clothes on, even while they were outside she felt hot and tired.


    Caruncle tried to adjust her posture, but as she straightened her back, she winced slightly, her discomfort visible. Her hands, meant to be placed lightly on her lap, tightened into fists for a moment before she forced them to relax.


    "Your hands, Elena. A lady¡¯s hands should never betray her emotions. Release the tension. Control, my dear¡ªeverything is about control."


    Caruncle exhaled softly, trying to release the tension in her hands. Her shoulders stiffened, and her back slumped slightly as she shifted, trying to find a comfortable position. She glanced at Mortimer in frustration.


    "It only has been a few days since you fell from the window, miss, your leg will take a while to recover, but that doesn¡¯t mean we should be teaching what we can in the meantime. Again¡ªstraighten your back."


    Custodio was looking at her with a skeptical look through the window. He had already finished a cigar and was already starting a new one. In front of him at the other side of the desk was a meek man around 30 years old, probably 5 years older than Caruncle.


    ¡°And you are telling me that you found a way to bring back the dead, Mr. Esparza?¡± He asked him with eagerness in his eyes.


    ¡°No, again, not exactly, you just can¡¯t simply take a rotten corpse and give it life.¡± He scratched his head while trying to read in his notebook.  ¡°If I have enough good parts, fresh body parts, I can use the enchantment and that will stitch them back together into a living being.¡±


    ¡°But how can the spell know how to stitch together the body parts?¡±


    ¡°My theory is that it uses a template.¡±


    ¡°A template?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not really sure, but it only works on humans, if you try to bring back another animal, it won¡¯t find enough parts to stitch together, and the spell won¡¯t work, I have already tried with several cats, it just didn¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°What did you do with the cats?¡±


    ¡°We have a crematorium in the lower plant of the manor.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°I might try with some other animals later, but so far neither cats, dogs, parrots, cows, pigs, chicken have worked. Only humans have so far, and they still have to be fresh, if they aren¡¯t fresh, it doesn¡¯t work.¡±


    ¡°Oh wow, I sure hope Lassie doesn¡¯t come around here, she is an adventurous cat and sometimes she doesn¡¯t come back home for weeks. I haven¡¯t seen her for the last two weeks actually.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡± Custodio continued writing in his notebook while he periodically looked at Caruncle working with Mortimer to improve her posture.


    ¡°She¡¯s a siamese cat with splotches in her face, have you seen her around?¡±


    ¡°And¡­ I think that was the last log for the day¡­¡± Custodio didn¡¯t look back at the man, he was now just mumbling to himself.


    ¡°Sir? You haven¡¯t seen her, right? Right?¡±


    ¡°Yup, that¡¯s it.¡± He kept on mumbling.


    ¡°Uh¡­ sir?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°What have you done with the people you brought back?¡±


    ¡°Oh you know they just eventually die on my hands, I keep testing the limits of the enchantment myself so I keep removing body parts to see at what point the spell stops working.¡±


    ¡°And then you put their organs back in?¡±


    ¡°No, organs don¡¯t last long.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Do you just¨C?¡±


    ¡°Getting a crematorium wasn¡¯t cheap, I might as well use it as much as I can.¡±


    ¡°R-Right.¡± The man kept looking back at Caruncle over and over, sometimes he asked Custodio something, but he didn¡¯t bother looking back at him.


    ¡°What is it that you look, Sebastian?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry, sir. It¡¯s just that your daughter is so lovely, it really brightens one¡¯s day to see her.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, I''m not looking for suitors for her right now.¡±


    ¡°Oh no no sir! I didn''t mean to imply anything of the sort.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°Why is she learning etiquette, though? She looks rather old for that kind of¨C¡±


    ¡°She has amnesia.¡±


    ¡°Amnesia? What happened to her?¡±


    ¡°You ask too many questions, Sebastian. I rather have you ask things about the enchantment you are supposedly interested in.¡±


    ¡°Uh, I might need to try it myself, first, but for that I would need a body.¡±


    ¡°I''m not going to get you any bodies myself, slaves are expensive enough as of right now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no matter! I think I can ask my father for some¡­ arrangements, I suppose, I''ll see what I can do.¡±


    ¡°Then, is there anything else that you need from me? Or are you done bothering me?¡±


    ¡°Well, it''s just¡­¡±


    ¡°What is it now?¡±


    ¡°Can I talk to her?


    ¡°To who?¡±


    ¡°To your daughter, sir, if it''s alright, I would like to introduce myself, I was thinking we could maybe talk a little.¡±


    ¡°She doesn''t talk.¡±


    ¡°Pardon me?¡±


    ¡°She doesn''t talk, she''s mute.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see.¡±


    ¡°Anything else?¡±


    ¡°Well, even if she doesn''t talk I feel I could still introduce myself and tell her¡ª¡±


    ¡°Sebastian, I didn''t invite you to my home because I didn''t want you to nose in my own affairs, now that you have gone through the job of tail me to find where I live so we could have this so called lesson you want, I conceded because I felt it would be enough for you to leave me alone, but I''m not going to let you bother my daughter or get further into my life more than I want you to.¡±


    ¡°I mean, sir, I understand your need privacy and if you find me inconvenient I will leave right away, but I was thinking that maybe, perhaps, I could work as a small acquaintance to the lady, I imagine that she must feel rather lonely here and maybe making a small friendship could do her some good, even if it''s just me. Wouldn''t you say so?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s still a no, and if we are done here, I expect you to be out of the manor in 10 minutes or less.¡± Custodio stood up and walked out towards the door.


    ¡°Sir, please¡­!¡±


    Outside the manor, Elena was finally taking a break, Mortimer said he would prepare coffee and left to the kitchen, saying he wouldn¡¯t take too long. Once Sebastian was outside the manor he directed himself towards Caruncle, who was absent mindedly looking at the clouded sky. It really seemed like the sun never came out in that place.


    ¡°G-good morning?¡± Sebastian said, slowly walking to her field of vision. Caruncle got startled and almost jumped out of her chair.


    ¡°My apologies, I didn¡¯t mean to scare you!¡±


    Caruncle studied him from head to toe, the guy looked normal, non threatening, he was dressed with a normal, stiff suit and had some books on his hand. She noticed he was the guy Custodio was talking with just before, she couldn¡¯t run with her leg still injured, but it was probably still okay, what did the guy want with her anyway?


    ¡°So, uhm¡­ my name is Sebastian, nice to meet you, ma''am. I¡¯m an acquaintance of your father, I thought I could present myself now that I¡¯m on my way out.¡±


    Caruncle shook her head while pointing at her throat.


    ¡°Oh, I know about your condition, ma¡¯am. Don¡¯t worry.¡±


    She seemed to relax for a bit but kept looking at him closely, detailing him. She looked at his eyes, his nose, his lips, she couldn¡¯t quite figure the guy¡¯s mood out, and that was making her feel uneasy.


    ¡°Uh, your father and I go a long way back. Do you know what we study?¡±


    She shook her head again.


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s actually a very interesting subject! We are studying arcane magic!¡±


    She raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°See, arcane magic, or well, that¡¯s how we call it, it¡¯s the art to control reality.¡± He lowered his notebook and put it on the table in front of her. ¡°In the society I am from we have the theory that the world wasn¡¯t created by the god Xenothropides, but a goddess called Jazmin.¡± He looked back at her and she nodded while looking through the notebook. ¡°Jazmin left this world abandoned, but the way she created the world was documented in a grimoire. Our group found a few of these pages in some ancient ruins. Well, it wasn¡¯t me, it was a bunch of old guys 50 years ago, but well¡­ they managed to decipher some of the spells, and we have been working to decipher more spells!¡±


    Looking through the notebook, Caruncle actually recognized a few of the texts and illustrations, they had been part of one of the books she had seen at the library of Pisces. If the spells were real tools she could use, then things would have been a lot more interesting. Sigh, she couldn¡¯t actually use the spells, they required the enchanter to speak out loud.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry miss, I must be boring you with all my talk, aren¡¯t I?¡±


    She pointed at the pen Sebastian was holding.


    ¡°Oh, are you asking for my pen?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Here you go, miss.¡±


    She looked at the list of already deciphered spells. There was a spell called Echo of the Forgotten: It summoned the whispers of lost souls, but with no guidance or knowledge, only meaningless fragments of their last thoughts. Death¡¯s Lullaby: It made the caster fall asleep for 3 days or so. Veil of Eternity: Enveloped the caster in a protective aura that rendered them immune to the passage of time. It was not used since it basically killed any human who used it. Infinite Echo: It amplified a sound or a word to echo endlessly across dimensions. It was theorized that one could use it to communicate across vast cosmic distances, but when humans used it it just created an irritating, never-ending noise with no purpose. Out of the thousand of spells she saw back in the library of Pisces, those 4 were practically useless. She remembered hearing Custodio talking about a resurrection spell when he was talking with Sebastian in his study, but that seemed to be everything they knew.


    She started writing in the book, trying to see if she could remember any spells whatsoever. It had been probably almost 20 years since she went to the damn library, and she couldn¡¯t remember anything of the book of spells at all. Back then, she thought it was just a rather mediocre book of poetry so she never paid attention to it.


    ¡°Well, I guess it is my time to leave.¡± Sebastian said while reaching for the pen, Caruncle stopped him and continued writing, there was an incomplete spell on the book, it read ¡°Perfect Memory: It helps the caster remember anything in specific they have gone through with clarity.¡±


    ¡°Miss, you are lovely and everything, but those are very delicate spells and I rather not have you scribbling in my¨C¡±


    When he looked back at the book, he noticed that the spell seemed to be completed. It had taken him 2 years to try to decipher half of it, but the woman in front of him seemed to have finished it in two minutes. Caruncle looked at the finished enchantment. ¡°Another useless spell.¡± She thought and grimaced. It was useless, she couldn¡¯t use any of the spells or even remember any of the useful ones. Working in magic was a futile endeavor anywhere she looked.


    ¡°Sebastian! I told you to leave right away!¡± Custodio yelled at him from the entrance of the front door.


    ¡°Oh, right sir! I¡¯ll be going now, my apologies!¡± He took the notebook and the pen from Caruncle and walked towards his carriage, his driver was waiting for him, half asleep. ¡°I hope we can talk later, ma¡¯am, thank you for your time.¡± Sebastian took her hand and kissed it, making her blush terrybly. She looked away and waved at him with embarrassment still on her face.


    ¡°Wake up! Wake up right now! Yes, we have to leave!¡± He could be heard from the entrance. ¡°Home! Where else? Let¡¯s go! Now!¡±


    The man finally left after a while. Mortimer brought in the coffee and she started drinking while looking at the clouds. With the clouds always over the sky, it was always hard to know what time of the day it was. They were starting to feel more like a sterile ceiling, a ceiling of a never ending room that extended towards the horizon and covered it all, making her feel trapped.


    ¡°Magic is stupid after all.¡± She thought to herself, she was just trying to distract herself from the hand kiss, which still embarrassed her.

 15. A Recap

    Caruncle thought about it over and over again, he was a worthless human being, but he felt that he didn¡¯t deserve that pain. Death would have been preferable, he tried to end it all, but he couldn¡¯t. He thought about his worthlessness, he said that despite how empty of a shell he had been, he hadn¡¯t done anything to deserve that pain. No human could ever deserve such pain. He looked at his hand, the fingers were missing. The fingers were still missing. There was an itchy sensation all over his body, he wanted to scratch himself, but he had no fingers. He had no fingers, and he could only feel the blood.


    Caruncle woke up again in a panic. She looked around at the whole white room, it was still dark, but the silhouette of the room was now visible. She wasn¡¯t in the basement anymore, but she didn¡¯t feel safe. It still didn¡¯t feel real, it didn¡¯t feel real at all, she must have gone insane, that was for sure, she was insane and she couldn¡¯t discern reality from fantasy. A week had gone by, but it still didn¡¯t feel any more real, everything she had experienced was wrapped in a haze that she couldn¡¯t easily discern things from.


    She tried to stand up and run away, but the pain in her leg made her fall. The bell had fallen into the floor so started shaking it as she crawled towards the door.


    Mortimer and Custodio arrived at the room and raised her back to the bed. Caruncle felt his heart was going at full speed and that she could lose consciousness any time.


    ¡°What is going on?¡±


    ¡°It seems like another panic attack, sir. We will have to give her a tranquilizer again.¡±


    ¡°That thing is not designed to be used that often!¡±


    ¡°Sir, her pulse is skyrocketing right now, is there anything else you would suggest?¡±


    ¡°Just give her the damn tranquilizer by now.¡±


    The world felt fuzzy and then everything turned black.


    After a few hours she woke up back again, she got startled when she woke up and her head was hurting a lot. She felt uneasy, but it seemed like things seemed to be somewhat normal, there was no feeling of imminent danger.


    ¡°Miss, you are awake.¡± Mortimer said, Caruncle turned around and saw sitting at the side of the bed on his dusty old chair, Custodio was sitting at his side with his arms crossed and his head against the wall, he seemed to be sleeping.


    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± He gave her a small chalk board along with the chalk.


    ¡°Uneasy.¡± She wrote.


    ¡°Miss, I feel that we need to talk, seriously, I mean.¡± Mortimer looked at her with a sad smile. ¡°We feel that with the panic attacks you keep having, there must be something bothering you and perhaps we should address it, so that at least you can sleep properly.¡±


    She looked at him all serious, like she was all mad, like very mad, then she looked at Custodio and she looked at him all mad too, all serious, yeah, she was very serious, probably, or at least that''s what she wanted to convey.


    She thought back to the dream she had, the memories that kept coming back, there were many things that she was feeling right now, but there was one of them that stayed the loudest.


    ¡°I keep dreaming about being back in the basement.¡± She wrote on the board.


    ¡°Oh, I see¡­¡± Mortimer gave her a pained expression and looked away, Custodio seemed to be finally waking up. ¡°But, Miss Elena, there is nothing to worry about anymore, you aren¡¯t there anymore, you aren¡¯t even the same person, if anybody comes looking for you, they won¡¯t find you, it is going to be okay.¡±


    Caruncle sighed and wrote back on the board.


    ¡°I feel angry.¡±


    ¡°Angry? Why angry? Did we¡­ Did we do anything wrong? If so, please, tell us.¡±


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Then, what is it? What is wrong?¡±


    It was frustrating, she wanted to write everything she had gone through, the chalkboard was so small and also so frustrating to use. She wanted to speak, but she couldn¡¯t, it made her want to cry, to scream, but even if she wanted, she couldn¡¯t, no word would ever come out of her mouth.


    She wiped the tears from her eyes and decided to write something short and simple.


    ¡°I hate the man who kept me chained in all these years.¡±


    Mortimer looked at the chalkboard, thoughtful.


    ¡°I see..¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡± Custodio looked at both of them after cleaning his eyes.¡±


    ¡°Well, sir¡­¡± He showed him the chalkboard.


    ¡°Who? Mr. Lopez?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Why? He was just doing his job.¡±


    The rage in Caruncle went all over her head, she started to shake angrily, for a moment it looked like she was about to explode.


    ¡°Okay, calm down, I take that back,¡± he waved his hands at her. ¡°But even if you are angry, and I can imagine well that you are, there is nothing we can do about it.¡±


    Caruncle quickly took the chalk board from Mortimer hands and wrote on it.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because it happens that Mr. Lopez is a very well known person around this area, even if you wanted to say anything to him, do anything to him, people would find out, and then we would all get in a lot more trouble than what it is worth. Seriously.¡±


    ¡°I cannot believe you.¡± She wrote on the chalkboard which was now a bit damp from her falling tears.


    ¡°Most people can¡¯t leave their captors and start a new life, you should be happy with what you already have, which is thanks to me, not thanks to him.¡±


    Caruncle clenched her fists and started to hit her legs with them, due to the muscle injury in her right leg, the punches hurted her a lot more, she wasn¡¯t making any sort of noise, but it was clear it was becoming more difficult to breathe for her.


    ¡°You are the worst,¡± she wrote again.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m the worst? How am I the worst?¡± Custodio crossed his arms and gave her a mocking smile.


    ¡°Wanting to marry your daughter, that is gross, disgusting.¡±


    ¡°Ha, I knew it was going to be about that!¡± Custodio stood up. ¡°I don¡¯t have time to deal with these tantrums of yours.¡± He left the room, leaving her with the troubled Mortimer at her side.


    ¡°You just let all these things happen,¡± she wrote him.


    ¡°Miss, please¡­"


    ¡°You are as bad as him.¡±


    ¡°Miss, let¡¯s not make this more complicated than it needs to. I just¨C¡±


    Caruncle turned her back to him and covered herself in the sheets.


    ¡°Miss Elena, I¡¯m so sorry¡­¡±


    After a while, she went back to sleep.


    After what must have been a few hours later, she woke up yet again, feeling groggy. She was alone in the room, but Mortimer quickly entered with an eager attitude. ¡°Miss, please, let¡¯s take you to the bath, there is a new instructor that is waiting to see you.¡±


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    She slowly sat down, still sleepy.


    ¡°Trust me, we brought someone that we thought could cheer you up! You will see!¡±


    ***


    The woman in front of Caruncle was rather short, she was probably 1.60 or so, she had wavy brown hair and she looked tired. Hmm, what else...She wore a jacket, though still fitted with a slightly looser cut, made from a supple, deep plum wool blend. It featured broad lapels and minimal embroidery, with brass buttons that added a touch of rugged elegance. The high collar was relaxed, allowing a glimpse of a simple, unadorned white shirt beneath, with the top button casually undone. The trousers, rather than a traditional skirt were high-waisted, straight-legged, and made from matching plum fabric.  A wide leather belt cinched at her waist.


    ¡°So, you are Elena.¡± Her voice was sultry, and deep, or perhaps it was me just being too horny.


    Caruncle nodded.


    ¡°How old are you?¡±


    ¡°29.¡± She wrote.


    ¡°Well, you are 3 years older than me. Your father said I would need to teach you ¡®lady stuff,¡¯  and try to make friends with you. Can you tell me why I have to teach someone older than me about this kind of thing?¡±


    ¡°I have amnesia.¡± She wrote on the chalkboard but when she turned it to show it to her, she turned away, unable to face her at all.


    ¡°Right, you know that is not true.¡± The woman crossed her arms, Caruncle looked at her with a skeptical look. What did she know?


    ¡°I know that you are lying to me.¡±


    Caruncle lowered her head, she felt scolded.


    ¡°If you really want me to help you, you are going to tell me exactly what is going on, or otherwise I can¡¯t really bother to get into something I don¡¯t even know I can deal with.¡±


    Caruncle scratched her head. She looked at her for what felt like a long while. There it was again, that old feeling, the feeling of wanting to say everything she knew, she had felt it constantly back when she lived with her family, now, she felt the very same thing with the stranger in front of her. She decided she would write it part by part on the chalkboard.


    ¡°I had a brain transplant.¡±


    ¡°A brain transplant?¡± She looked like she hadn¡¯t heard her properly.


    ¡°I had another brain transplanted into me 3 months and a half ago.¡±


    The woman took the chalkboard for a while with a puzzling expression. She then scratched her head.


    ¡°So, he did it, he found out how to use the damn spell,¡± she looked away for a moment. "I apologize for what I''m going to say, but this whole affair is fucked up. I hope you are aware of that."


    Caruncle looked at her with puppy eyes, I sat on the desk of the small study room, looking at both of them. The two stayed silent for a while.


    ¡°What is it? You can''t surprise me that easily, even if you try," she looked out the window for a moment while in deep thought, after what was almost a minute, she seemed to come back to her senses. "What was your name before this? You know what I¡¯m talking about, right? If you had a brain transplant, then, you must have been someone else before, did we know each other at all?¡±


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Then, who were you?¡±


    ¡°My name was Caruncle Periwinkle, and I was a slave for the last 10 years.¡±


    The woman took the chalkboard yet again and stared at it for a couple of minutes, sometimes waving the thing, as if she was trying to test the weight of the words themselves on her own hand.


    ¡°I never heard that name before, was it a man¡¯s name?¡±


    She nodded. It insulted me how that was the only thing she decided to fix on. Ridiculous.


    ¡°Right, so you were a man.¡±


    She nodded again while looking down at the floor.


    ¡°I see, so that¡¯s what we are working on.¡± She gave her the chalkboard back and looked back into her face, trying to figure her out. ¡°So tell me, what is it like? To be on the other side?¡± I thought she was going to laugh at her, but then her expression stiffened, I didn¡¯t know if she was actually angry or if she wanted to laugh.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know yet.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know? I need you to be honest with me, do you hate it? Do you hate being a woman? Are you irritated? Are you sad? Are you mad? There is surely something going on through that head of yours right now, right? Not everyone goes through that kind of procedure every day.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t feel real.¡±


    ¡°Right, okay, but tell me, do you hate it? Don¡¯t you think it''s a bit¡­ I don¡¯t know, denigrating? Surely you must feel something like that, no?¡±


    ¡°I have wished to be a woman since I have a memory.¡±


    ¡°Oh no, no, that, I don¡¯t believe."


    "Why not?"


    "Let me ask you something first, don¡¯t you think that perhaps you are deluding yourself so you can deal with this fucked up situation better?¡±


    ¡°No, my memory does not fail me on that, I remember it clearly.¡±


    ¡°So you are some sort of pervert then, that¡¯s just¨C that¡¯s great.¡± She rolled her eyes, Caruncle had started to cry at her words.


    ¡°What? You are crying now? Did it really hurt you that I called you a pervert? That¡¯s what you are, you know? It¡¯s not normal for a man to want to be a woman.¡±


    She had started to cry yet again to the point it was hard for her to breathe, the woman winced at the scene, even I felt bad looking at her.


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t cry, I can¡¯t deal with this right now. I won¡¯t call you a pervert again, is that what you want?¡±


    Caruncle nodded while covering her face with her hands.


    ¡°Alright, and you want me to treat you like a broad too? All that?¡±


    She nodded again.


    ¡°Well, fine, for the sake of my sanity and yours, let¡¯s just roll with it. Now, please, can you stop crying?¡±


    Caruncle took a few more minutes trying to calm down, she took a small handkerchief she had with her at all times along with the hand bell and blew her nose with it several times, the thing looked nasty already, yuck.


    ¡°Okay, so, well, I guess we covered that. Anything else you need to tell me?¡±


    She smirked, maybe she could tell her everything, everything.


    ¡°I was sent by Jazmin to this world 2 decades ago.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what? You lost me there.¡±


    ¡°I made Jazmin mad somehow, and she sent me here to be Caruncle Periwinkle.¡±


    The woman frowned, it didn¡¯t look like Caruncle was making a joke, but well, exactly, it just sounded incredibly stupid when she read it, she read it again and again, trying to see if she had read it wrong. Not many people knew about Jazmin, let alone believed in her at all. But her eyes showed how she thought that Caruncle was clearly delusional.


    ¡°Wait, you are getting ahead of yourself. Let¡¯s leave that on hold by now, I¡¯ll ask you about it later but first I need to understand what happened with the surgery.¡±


    Caruncle frowned. That wasn¡¯t the reaction she was looking for. Sorry hon, but you can¡¯t deny that was pretty stupid.


    ¡°I hate Custodio.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I can imagine a few reasons why, I have a few myself, but why do YOU hate him?¡±


    ¡°He says he is going to make me his wife.¡±


    ¡°What? Aren¡¯t you his daughter?


    ¡°Yes, but that¡¯s what he said.¡±


    Caruncle had totally regressed into a child-like state and her mopey eyes were making me mad. I didn¡¯t want to look, I turned around, but the woman left the room in a hurry. I turned back and I saw her with a puzzled expression, wondering what the woman who had left was thinking. A few moments later, yells from the floor above where heard, it was the woman, and Custodio. Then, a door was closed and there was nothing left to hear. We heard a vase break, or something like a vase break, it was definitely porcelain, several minutes passed and Caruncle was thinking of going outside to breathe some air. The weather was still foggy and cold, but it would still probably be better than staying inside.


    The woman finally came back. She looked exhausted and her hair was now messy.


    ¡°So¡­ about marriage, I think you should not worry about that.¡±


    Caruncle frowned again and raised her hands as if trying to ask why.


    ¡°You¡­ you just should not worry about that, by now.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? Did he decide to stop the marriage?¡±


    ¡°No no¡­ I just¡­ look, just don¡¯t think about it by now.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be with that man.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, I cannot help you with that, I¡¯m sorry, but I can¡¯t,¡± the woman looked away.


    Caruncle was about to write to complain to her, but she stopped, the woman in front of her didn¡¯t owe her anything, she was a complete stranger to her, she had gone and defended her, so she thought that the best she could do is to not judge her for being unable to get her out of the problem she was in.


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, let¡¯s move on from that, is there anything else aside from what you have told me? Anything else, at all?


    Caruncle nodded.


    ¡°Well, tell me now, speak up your mind.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m angry at other people.¡± Caruncle felt the wrist starting to get tired, her fingers sometimes would feel like they were going to fall asleep, it was a surreal sensation to her to have fingers again. She remembered the time at the basement yet again, but she pushed the thought out of her head.


    ¡°What people?¡±


    ¡°The man who kept me as a slave, and my family.¡±


    ¡°Your family, why your family?¡±


    ¡°They sold me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, well, I don¡¯t have any words for that, I¡¯m sorry that happened to you.¡±


    ¡°I want revenge.¡±


    ¡°Revenge?¡± The woman scratched her head. ¡°Okay, I get, somewhat, how you might be feeling, trust me, I do, but, you cannot look for revenge, you should rather forget about that. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°No, I cannot forget, I¡¯m not going to forget.¡± Caruncle held the chalk with her fist and broke it into two, she was starting to cry again.


    The woman in front of her sighed, she scratched her head again, I could see the marks of her nails in her forehead already. ¡°It always comes back to this.¡± I heard her mumble.


    Caruncle used the handkerchief again, but she was running out of sides to clean her snot.


    ¡°You know what? What do you say if we focus on what I came here for instead?¡± She finally said, Caruncle had managed to calm down again and now was just looking at her pensively. She nodded.


    ¡°Okay, we kinda skipped the greetings so now, allow me to present myself. My name is Lucia Knox Ashford, can you remind me of your name?¡±


    ¡°My name is Elena Esparza.¡±


    ¡°I know, but didn¡¯t you say you had another name before?¡±


    Caruncle looked confused as if not knowing what to write.


    ¡°Know what? Nevermind that, I¡¯ll call you Elena, if that is what you want, sounds good?¡±


    Caruncle nodded.


    ¡°Okay so¡­  I know your father since I¡¯m also part of The Supernal Circle of Mountain Mystics, have you heard about the circle before?


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Basically, we¡­ Well, what we do is not important, some people there are talented in Archaeology but most of us just spend the time screwing around. It is also one of the very few groups I have found where a lady can make herself heard, and a lot of the time, they are not that bad. Now, I owe your father a few favors. He asked me to come here, to teach you, lady stuff, or whatever that is. I was asking you all that stuff just now because I don''t want him screwing around with me, but I also don¡¯t like seeing him screwing around with people either, so if there is something that bothers you, talk to me, and I¡¯ll see what I can do. Now, he might think lady stuff is actually a big course you have to study and get a grade on, but no, what you actually need to know is how to deal with men, because from now on, men are going to treat you like shit. I¡¯ll just tell you some hygiene basics and then we can move on to the important part, do you follow me so far?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°Alright, basically, you are just going to need a couple of rags, and make sure you clean them well.¡±

 16. A Vow

    Caruncle sat around a grand table in the garden. The place was dimly lit by the pale light of the clouds that covered the whole sky. Mortimer stood beside her, holding a slim volume of history in his hands.


    ¡°The country was on the brink of independence a decade ago, but the movement died out when a group of rebels were captured, and it has stayed as a colony of the main kingdom ever since.¡± He finished reading.


    She was shocked, her face now looking at the nothingness. I took advantage and got close to her while I pretended that I was talking to her and that she was listening to me. ¡°Hey, Caruncle, do you remember that thing about the movement that the original, the true Caruncle was supposed to take over? The country was meant to gain its independence, but you took over the body of the original man and his place, you didn''t accomplishe absolute dog shit. Well done, bravo, my friend.¡± I felt a little bad afterwards, so I walked away.


    ¡°Miss Elena? Are you with me?¡±


    She looked back at Mortimer, I saw her, she had zoned out for quite a while.


    ¡°Sigh,¡± Mortimer put the book on the table. ¡°I thought you were very quite diligent with the literature class, but you seem so distracted with history and politics just now¡­ You know what, you are probably just hungry. I¡¯m going to prepare something, and I will be right back, alright?¡±


    Caruncle nodded and smiled at him. Mortimer left the garden and went inside the manor. The man was a puzzle to him, she heard him talking to Custodio on the entrance.


    ¡°Oh, sir, I was just going to the kitchen to prepare something for Miss Elena and myself.¡±


    Custodio couldn¡¯t be heard at all.


    ¡°Not at all! I just thought that you were busy and I didn¡¯t want to bother¨C¡±


    What were they talking about? Caruncle and myself both frowned, trying to decipher the conversation.


    ¡°Well, sir¡­ if you insist¡­¡±


    I yawned, I heard a carriage getting close in the distance.


    ¡°Of course, you know that I am your service, always, at your service.¡±


    I turned around and I saw Sebastian carriage arriving from the long dusty road until they finally reached the garden. The man was neatly dressed as always, he got out of the carriage and ran towards Caruncle.


    ¡°Miss Elena, you figured it out! You figured out the spell!¡± He had the small notebook in his hand and put it on the small table she was sitting in front of. ¡°See? The memory spell. When I got home, I tried it myself, and it worked! I wanted to remember what my uncle told me when I was a little kid. He died as a soldier, and I saw him one last time before he left to battle. I wanted to remember what he said. Turns out he just thought I was annoying, heh.¡± I felt bad, he had a sad smile on his face. ¡°And well, the spell is terrible in the brain, it gave me a terrible headache for two days, but still, it worked! I know it has been just a week since I saw you, but I really wanted to tell you how thankful I am for your help!¡±


    Okay so it had been a week since he came by, and he first met her a week after she had the surgery, so it had been like¡­ what? Two weeks, two weeks since she had the surgery, more or less.


    Caruncle had been startled the whole time he had been talking to her, but he hadn¡¯t noticed in his excitement, after he spurted out his nonsense, he finally calmed down, and his eyes turned serious.


    ¡°Miss, who are you? You are not a normal person, are you?¡±


    She had the chalkboard on her hands, but she didn¡¯t know what exactly to answer her, or that¡¯s what I could tell from her expression, she looked lost, it was kinda funny.


    ¡°Miss, I want to make a vow, towards you,¡± he got on his knees and took her hand, Caruncle blushed terribly to the point she looked like a tomato, kinda adorable, if the weirdo wasn¡¯t on the scene. ¡°I am now giving you my loyalty to you, I am devoted to you, for life.¡± She looked at him confused. ¡°You might be asking, why? Well, I recognize an extraordinary person when I see one, and you are not just an extraordinary person, but also an incredible woman too! Anyone, anyone that can decipher the sacred spells our reality is composed from, anyone, is worthy of devotion in my book. Please, accept my vow, I, Sebastian Lysias, will sweat my loyalty to you, even over the Supernal Circle of Mountain Mystics, if your wishes and the ones of the circle ever end up conflicting, I will always prioritize yours, and from this day on, I will follow your lead.¡± He slowly stretched her arm and kissed her hand. I chuckled, sitting on the table as I always was. Caruncle¡¯s mind had wandered away the whole time the crazy guy spoke, it was only after he kissed her hand that she came back to hear, with her free hand, he patted him on the head.


    ¡°Oh, so you accept! You don¡¯t know how happy that makes me!¡±


    ¡°Well done genius, now you were stuck with a talking pet for the rest of your life.¡± I mentioned it to her outloud. She wanted to look for the chalkboard and clarify what she meant, but she felt too embarrassed to tell him no or in fact say anything else to him at all.


    Sebastian finally stood up and sat on the chair that was at her side.


    ¡°Now, please, tell me about yourself, I¡¯m still dying to know who you are, where you come from! I barely heard about you from your father, I want to get to see every side of you, why haven¡¯t you joined the circle? Have you been away from the country? Do you travel a lot?¡±


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Oh, so you haven¡¯t traveled at all? There is a big secret about you, is there not? Everything about your whole self gives this unnatural aura, I mean¨C in a good way, of course, there has to be something that you are hiding under those eyes!¡±


    She looked uneasy, I also saw her holding her breath and only releasing it when she felt she was ending without any air, it was a habit she had when she got really nervous.


    Sebastian looked at her, waiting for her to take the chalk and write on the chalkboard, but when he saw she wasn''t acting at all, he decided to speak.


    ¡°Do you want to know what I think?¡± He smirked, she looked at him with a puzzled expression. ¡°I think that you went through that surgery your father was working on.¡±


    Caruncle broke into laughter, but since she couldn¡¯t talk, her laugh sounded like a bunch of inhalations and exhalations of someone who was having a hard time breathing. If it wasn¡¯t because of her expression, you would think she was choking.


    ¡°Woah, the laugh of a fairy.¡±


    She looked away at his comment, and after a couple of minutes, she managed to calm down. Here she was expecting to keep that secret until her death with him, but the guy in front of her had figured it all out. I made the mental note that maybe he wasn¡¯t as dense as he looked. I thought his comment had been fucking stupid and annoying, fairy? She was no fairy, she was no fairy.


    ¡°But see what I mean? I know, something, at least part of it, I guess, but even then, my vow stays intact, because the person I admire is you, you, not anyone else, so please, tell me, who are you? Really? I wish I could have known you sooner, so I could have worked on gaining your trust way before.¡±


    She looked pensive for a bit and then she finally started to write on the chalkboard.


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    ¡°It¡¯s just funnier if I don¡¯t tell you.¡±


    ¡°What? What does that even mean?¡± Now it was my turn to laugh, his disappointed expression almost broke my heart, but the whole scene, it was just so damn funny. All his enthusiasm had evaporated in an instant, oh god, oh my god! The poor thing!


    ¡°So you aren¡¯t gonna tell me?¡± He looked at her, sad and dejected, she shook her head with a little smile that betrayed her emotions.


    ¡°But¡­ I thought.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t think I can tell you.¡± She wrote back on the board.


    ¡°Like, never tell me or just now?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, probably never, it¡¯s just not wise, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Aww, man.¡± Sebastian looked away as he leaned back on the chair, he was trying to hide his disappointment and¡­ were those tears? In any case, he was absolutely failing at it, it almost made me feel bad.


    Time went on, probably a few minutes, although it may have been closer to half an hour, where was that butler when you needed him? Things got progressively more awkward as the silence extended, and I was starting to get bored, until finally he looked back at her and opened his mouth again.


    ¡°You know, even if you can¡¯t talk, I think you are really an interesting person, Elena.¡±


    Let me tell you, this guy wasn''t going to win any girl over the normal way, he probably was going to need a lot of money, he was hopeless. Caruncle turned her head back at him but had her eyes on the floor, unable to take the so called "compliment" directly, feeling like she was going to laugh out of nervousness, or was it awkwardness? Not sure, maybe both.


    She thought about what she would say to him if she could still speak. It was frustrating, it was always so frustrating, and it made her angry, it made her so angry, not even being able to say a single word. I heard her complain in her head, over and over. It was something that she wasn¡¯t expecting, she never expected to find herself unable to speak again, she would sometimes try to speak up while she was about to sleep, only to end up choking on saliva again, it was annoying, it was really annoying. I knew it, because she kept complaining in her head about it. Nobody else could hear her but me.


    She tried to think back at the last words she had ever said, but she couldn¡¯t remember, all of her memories back from where she was in the basement now fuzzy and distant. Perhaps, it had been a cry for help.


    ¡°It pains me to see you like that,¡± Sebastian spoke up. ¡°That face of yours¡­ you are beautiful, so beautiful, but you look so sad, and I feel like my heart is clenched so strongly, I can¡¯t bear it ma¡¯am, I just¡­ I feel like it makes me want to cry, I don¡¯t want to see such a face to look so sad. I¡¯m speaking in all honesty.¡±


    She turned away yet, I could still hear her, I could hear her even if she couldn¡¯t speak. While very deep inside she liked the attention the man was giving her and it produced a hole in her stomach that she couldn¡¯t control, there was still a deep sense of fear creeping in. The fear that, if that man ever found she was just a man, and a man with a weird wish, he would turn mean, or violent, she was afraid, and I could feel it, she stopped smiling.


    ¡°Miss Elena,¡± he took her hand again, forcing her to pay attention to him. ¡°If there is anything I can do for you, anything, let me know, okay? I will do as much as I can on my own, for you.¡±


    She looked back into the house, perhaps Mortimer had decided to prepare a complete lunch, for he had not come back in a long, long while. Caruncle looked back at Sebastian and started writing on her board, her hands felt shaky, but she managed to write the thing.


    ¡°I want you to help me kill a man,¡± she wrote.


    ***


    Caruncle had fallen asleep, it was close to midnight and the lights were already turned off in the whole house. But, there was something rather funny happening, I was back in control.


    I don¡¯t know how, if you ask me how I was able to do it, I don¡¯t know, I don¡¯t freaking know, I don¡¯t know what had really triggered it, or how I was doing it, but I was back again, in the world of the living. It had been a month and a half since Caruncle had fallen into the window and she was now able to walk normally, albeit with a slight soreness, but it was alright. I stood up and walked out of her bedroom, I heard the two men talking inside Custodio¡¯s bedroom. I was barefoot so I could make the least noise possible.


    ¡°So? Do you think she¡¯s ready?¡± I heard them whisper.


    ¡°Sir, I think that emotionally, she is ready, but I think we should wait at least another month for her to fully heal, the leg injury, while mostly healed now, could cause reduced¡­ performance, of you know what I mean.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to tell me that, if she¡¯s emotionally ready, then we need to start the preparations for the whole thing, you will send the letter tomorrow so the island is ready for when we go with her.


    ¡°Understood, sir.¡±


    I went back to Caruncle¡¯s bed and lied down, I waited, and waited.


    I couldn¡¯t hear any steps, no crickets or any sort of creature that could prove me time was actually moving, the house felt desolated. After waiting for what felt like an hour, I stood up and changed Elena¡¯s clothes, I took out a small briefcase I had found in one of the rooms a few weeks back with some of my clothes, and, still barefoot, I slowly walked away from the house.


    I was tired of that place, tired of the lessons. Embroidery, language studies, art, etiquette, none of that shit was needed, nothing of that was absolutely needed and I was tired, dead tired. I didn¡¯t want to see Custodio with how he creeped me out, I didn¡¯t want to go through the empty manor, it gave me the creeps, it made me feel that I could end up finding another ghost, just like me, yes, laugh all what you want, but there was something in that place that really creeped me out, I didn¡¯t like it, oh, and I didn¡¯t like that every single day was foggy, always full of clouds, not even a sunset or a dawn I had seen since we arrived to that place, and I was tired, I wanted to see the sun. Also, as the most important reason of them all, I didn''t want to wait and see what Custodio was going to do with Elena.


    Once I was outside and had made enough distance from the manor, I put on the slippers I had been holding on Elena¡¯s hand, and I walked with a steady but fast pace towards the road. Since it was still dark, I didn¡¯t want to go through the forest, but if I was going to walk through the road, I had better be fast, once those two woke up, I would be way far away and they wouldn¡¯t be able to find us.


    I knew that Caruncle would freak out, she always did, but I had a plan, I could go and hide where Sebastian lived, yes, I had no idea in how to find his home, but I had stolen some money from Custodio¡¯s desk the night before, so I could go to an inn, after that, maybe I could ask for directions. Yes, Caruncle would thank me, and once we were far away, she would start a new life, now, from zero, without any creepy men around or people that would sell her away, it would be a nice change of pace and maybe, just maybe, I could take control back of her body yet again.


    As I walked I extended my free arm in front of me and I opened and closed my hand, Elena¡¯s hand. It was freaky, things never stopped feeling unreal, but focusing on the physical sensations of the body I was in helped me ground myself. I walked and walked, how long had it been? One hour? The road didn¡¯t seem to end, it was mostly flat, but there were some slopes that I had to walk on, maybe I was already from a neighboring town? I thought I should have brought a map, but I hadn¡¯t found any.


    Then, something that shook me stood in front of my eyes, I almost left Elena¡¯s body out of the sheer shock. The road, the more as I walked, was filled by more and more trees at every side, it was as if I was entering the woods myself, even if I had been following the old dusty road. After a big flock of trees the road turned around in a very pronounced curve, but when I went through the curve, I found myself with a huge iron gate, the gate was probably at least 3 meters tall, and the worst of all, it was closed, with three padlocks, padlocks! For fuck¡¯s sake!


    I walked towards its sides, the gate should have ended somewhere, perhaps after a few meters, the gate ended and I could cross past the tall, tall trees. No, the gate extended as far as my eyesight went, way deep into the forest. I didn¡¯t understand, was the gate always locked? Or was it only at night? Otherwise, Sebastian wouldn¡¯t be able to enter when he came on the day.


    I thought about what I would do for a moment. I could go deep into the forest, but I didn¡¯t know what I could find there. It looked damp, and cold. What if I went all around? Maybe I could climb the iron gate, no, it was way too tall, and I felt weak, there was nothing to put my foot on, I didn¡¯t want to suffer another leg injury now that I had control over again. No, nothing, what could I do?


    I heard horses approaching, I panicked. They were coming for Elena, they were coming for me. I thought in hiding somewhere behind the trees, I was about to walk away, when Mortimer appeared from that stupid curve. Had he been following me on foot?


    ¡°Miss Elena,¡± he sounded tired. I wanted to see his face well, but it was still quite dark. ¡°I know that you might be upset, that you want to explore around and start to live your life, but please, come back home.¡±


    I wanted to talk out loud, but naturally, I couldn¡¯t. I thought Caruncle had been a bit dumb when he choked on his saliva while trying to speak, but I wasn¡¯t able to say anything, not even a word, I gave up.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Miss Elena. You are afraid, and that is our fault.¡± He slowly walked towards me and I backed away until I felt my back to the iron gate, I could hear the horses getting closer and closer. ¡°We just don¡¯t want anything bad to happen to you, so, please, let¡¯s go home, okay? There is no need to make anything more complicated than what it has to be.¡± His voice sounded sweet and kind, which pissed me out. He got closer, and closer, until he finally tried to hug me, as if I was a cat or a dog he was trying to catch. The moment he touched me, I was startled and I was kicked out of the body. Caruncle fell on her knees and Mortimer almost yelled, alarmed.


    ¡°Miss Elena? Elena!¡±


    Custodio finally arrived in a rather big carriage and without saying any word, he took Caruncle carefully in his arms and put her inside. Mortimer took the reins of the horses and the both of them went back to the manor without saying anything else to each other.

 17. A Breakout

    A few months after that, Lucia invited Caruncle to see her at her home, since Sebastian was around when she mentioned the visit, he asked her over and over if he could go too, and now, they were all sitting inside the greenhouse that existed in Lucia''s state.


    ¡°Perhaps¡­ you were a man before?¡± Right after Sebastian had said that, Caruncle threw a book right into his face and made him fall off his wooden chair. ¡°Aghh!¡±


    ¡°Careful! I¡¯m coming up!¡± Lucia came back from the manor with a tray carrying cookies and three cups of coffee. ¡°Hold up, let me put these on the table.¡±


    Caruncle looked around thinking that Mortimer was somewhere to help, but it was only Lucia.


    ¡°Your butler left all the work to me, he said ¡®oh what a lovely lady you are! Forgive me for making you carry the tray all the way to the garden!¡¯ and he left me alone in the room, that jerk.¡± She set the tray on the table and started eating, she saw Sebastian slowly standing up and moving his chair. ¡°And now, what did you just do?¡± She asked him.


    ¡°Well, I was just guessing who she might have been before that transplant she got.¡±


    ¡°Oh god, no that again.¡±


    ¡°I think I guessed correctly because when I asked her if she had been a man, she got all mad and threw me a book.¡±


    Lucia looked at Caruncle, who was now focused on reading a book about the meaning of flowers. I knew she wasn¡¯t actually reading and just pretending to read, she was frowning and her eyes were focusing, but they weren¡¯t moving from the place they stared at the page, Lucia had probably noticed this too.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you should care about that kind of stuff, Sebastian.¡±


    ¡°No, that is the thing! I don''t really care about that! I was trying to convince her that no matter who she was, I will follow her! She has my true and complete devotion!¡±


    ¡°And why do you want to follow her so badly, if I might ask?¡±


    ¡°Because I love her!¡±


    You know, sometimes Carunce¡¯s emotions were hard to figure out.  I can feel them, her emotions I mean, I can tell what she feels, but to translate that into words, it doesn¡¯t always work out. That time, I was paying attention to her, she was feeling all mopey that day, but aside from that, there was also this weird soup of sensations that was hard to make something out of. There was some anger, but where that anger came from, I didn¡¯t know, frustration too, but not just frustration, but also a relief, calmness, but that calmness made her feel empty. I thought back to the time she lived in the basement, in the dark. Thinking back to that time made her incredibly angry, so she just tried to ignore all that, to block it. I thought that perhaps it had been my escape attempt that night, but she didn¡¯t seem to know it had been me, she just thought it had been an idea she came up with because she had been sleep deprived. I knew she was frustrated with something and I couldn¡¯t make out what it was either


    ¡°Excuse me, Sebastian, but you must know that kind of confessions aren¡¯t very proper, you know? The only thing you are doing is forcing the lady you are confessing to into giving you an answer, that isn¡¯t really polite.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I apologize, I didn¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°And knowing very well that Ms. Esparza cannot talk, it just comes as more insulting that you just force her to hear all your blabbering over and over, if you like her, why can¡¯t you just follow her by staying silent?¡±


    ¡°I¨CI apologize, I sincerely didn¡¯t notice.¡±


    I looked back at Caruncle, she had thousands of butterflies in her stomach, but her face showed a frown. If I tried to translate the feelings going through her head, I think it meant she was feeling somehow happy, but perhaps Sebastian was annoying her too much and her patience was running out.


    ¡°Anyway, enough about that, how are you liking the flower garden?¡± She extended her hand to point out at the tons of flowers outside the greenhouse.


    ¡°I think it is incredibly beautiful.¡± She wrote.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m glad that you think so! It has been quite a distraction of mine for some time.¡± She looked away and eyed the flowers inside the greenhouse with a sad face. ¡°Flowers are not the kind of beings that can disappoint you.¡± She looked back at Caruncle, who looked back at her as if she was about to cry as well.


    ¡°And the circle says that flowers can be used for spells too!¡± Sebastian exclaimed, the both ladies turned back to him.


    ¡°That hasn¡¯t been proven.¡±


    ¡°Well, some day, I will! You shall see!¡±


    ¡°Is that what you are going to do with your life?¡±


    ¡°Well, yes, I do want to better understand the wonders and mysteries of the world.¡±


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t understand the multiplication table even if you tried. I wonder how you are even still on the circle.¡±


    ¡°Well, math is just not my forte after all, but I do have a good handle in the arts of literature, language and charisma.¡±


    Isn¡¯t this fun, Caruncle? Seeing a conversation pass by and not being able to interact with it in real time. Of course it isn¡¯t, but well¡­ it is what it is.


    Lucia looked back at Caruncle who was frowning at Sebastian since she was frustrated she wasn¡¯t able to participate in their talk, she looked at Lucia when felt her eyes at her and then Lucia, after looking at Caruncle frowning just as she was, looked back at Sebastian and started laughing.


    ¡°See! Not even Elena here is falling for your act!¡±


    ¡°I also want to unveil the mystery of women.¡± Sebastian pouted and continued with his coffee.


    ¡°By the way,¡± after all of them had finished, Lucia spoke up ¡°there are lots of other blossoms I would like to show you. I know it might be overzealous of me to have a greenhouse when I¡¯m already growing flowers outside, but¡­ well, would you like to come with me? I would like to show you the view that goes down the hill.¡± She stood up again and took her hand, and they both walked out of the greenhouse. They wandered through the flower fields, which filled the place with vibrant colors, a striking contrast against the gray sky. Though the field wasn¡¯t particularly large, the fragrance was overwhelming, a heady mix of sweet and earthy scents that lingered in the cool, misty air. Even while the sky remained cloaked in fog, the sight of the blossoms calmed her down.


    As they walked, Caruncle¡¯s eyes were drawn to clusters of Lavender with their delicate purple spikes swaying gently in the breeze. The fog seemed to cradle the blossoms, enhancing their soothing aroma that drifted through the air. Nearby, patches of Foxglove stood tall, their bell-shaped flowers in shades of pale pink and creamy white adding a subtle elegance to the landscape. Despite the lack of direct sunlight, the cool, moist environment seemed to allow these flowers to grow up, at least their blossoms looked to be glowing faintly in the diffused light.


    She pointed out a bed of Bluebells, their bell-like blooms creating a carpet of soft blue beneath the trees at the edge of the field. In the distance, she noticed a patch of Lily of the Valley, their delicate white bell-shaped flowers hanging gracefully from slender green stalks. The fog wrapped around them like a shroud, intensifying their sweet, almost intoxicating scent that lingered in the air long after they had passed by. Finally, at the top of the hill, they came upon a group of Primroses, their pale yellow and soft pink flowers blooming low to the ground. Caruncle sat down in the middle of the field, looking at the horizon.


    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    ¡°Tired?¡± Lucia asked her while sitting at her side.


    Caruncle shook her head, she was going to write something, but she noticed that the tears had gotten ahead and had revealed her feelings. She heard Sebastian arrive, but he didn¡¯t say anything, nobody had said anything at all, they all looked at the gray sky and the colorful terrain from the top of the hill, without saying a single word.


    ***


    A negative influence in the world, in a way, a cursed existence. Before she had come into this world, Caruncle Periwinkle had been a man who had moved nations and people, not a perfect man, sure, but a man who had fought everything that stood in his way and got so close to his ideals that he made a true and meaningful change in his land, his country. After she came and took her place, Caruncle ended up as the corpse of a servant in some rich man''s home cemetery. Her existence had brought down the whole world around her.


    She woke up in a strange room, this room wasn¡¯t all white, but it was all green, the air was a lot more dense and hot and she felt like she was sweating. What happened? The previous night she was having dinner with Mortimer and Custodio in the main hall of the manor, when she fell asleep straight into the pasta.


    She looked outside the room, it seemed as if it had been built in the middle of the jungle, the place smelled awful, and in the distance, there were some animal sounds she didn¡¯t recognize. She saw a small envelope at the side of the bed, she took it and opened slowly, it read.


    ¡°After 6 months under my care, it is time for you to make the big step. We took the liberty to help you sleep last night, and after a long trip we managed to arrive here, at Holiday¡¯s island. This place is very dear to me for it is a very peaceful piece of land where nobody comes to bother me, it is far away from society and here I have been bringing each Elena that we have brought to live with Mortimer. Right now, Mortimer and I went to hunt and we might end up arriving close to 10 AM. After we arrive, Mortimer will start cooking his lunch and I will spend my time with you. It is time for you to become my wife.¡±


    Right after she finished the letter Caruncle stood up and looked around, her heart started to beat incredibly fast. She still had the dress of last night on as well as the corset. She was starting to get used to corsets, but with the hot weather, it felt even more suffocating than usual. She saw some leather boots and quickly put them on, she opened the door of the room and walked away.


    She started walking through the jungle outside of the man made path, she didn¡¯t want to find the both of them and every second did count if she wanted to leave before they came back. She could see the sun between the high trees that covered the place. Finally, after so long, she had been able to see it shining through.


    I don¡¯t know how long we went through that place, an hour? The air grew thicker with each labored breath, the oppressive humidity clinging to her skin like a damp shroud. Every step felt heavier than the last, as if the jungle itself sought to consume her. The once-elegant gown of silk and lace, was now a mere shadow of its former glory. Dark stains of earth and sweat marred the fabric, its pale hue almost indistinguishable under layers of grime.


    The leather boots were now in a wretched state, worn thin from the relentless trudging, bore scuffs and scratches from the terrain. The small, decorative buttons on the sides had been torn away, lost somewhere in the thick undergrowth. She swiped at the sweat that dripped into her eyes, her vision blurred by exhaustion.


    A sharp crack split the air, followed by a rustle in the underbrush. Her heart froze for a moment, eyes darting toward the source. A shadow moved through the trees, low and stalking, like a predator sizing up its prey. She held her breath, willing herself to remain still, praying the creature would lose interest. The seconds stretched into what felt like an eternity before the shadow melted back into the dense foliage. Her body trembled, both from fear and the overwhelming fatigue that weighed upon her limbs. Still, she could not afford weakness. Not now. The jungle¡¯s tangled mass seemed never-ending, each thicket more impenetrable than the last. A misstep landed her foot in a bog, the thick muck pulling at her boot with a sickening squelch. She yanked it free, her hands trembling from the effort, but the action cost her precious energy she could ill afford to lose.


    But then¡ªa sound. Faint, almost imperceptible at first, but unmistakable. The soft, rhythmic roar of waves crashing against the shore. She surged forward, her legs protesting with every step, her arms slashing through the underbrush with newfound desperation.


    The sea.


    Just as she thought she could go no further, she broke through the final wall of foliage, stumbling into the clearing. There it was¡ªan endless expanse of blue, stretching out to the horizon, the waves crashing rhythmically against the sandy shore. There, anchored just beyond the shore, was a boat, its silhouette bobbing gently with the rhythm of the waves. For a moment, she stood at the edge of the jungle, panting, blood pounding in her ears. With one last burst of energy, she pushed herself toward the shore. The sea stretched out before her. After a moment of hesitation, she finally sailed.


    ***


    The boat rocked gently beneath her, the rhythmic creak of the oars slicing through the quiet expanse of the sea. Caruncle¡¯s arms ached with each pull, her muscles strained from the relentless effort. She glanced toward the horizon, where the island had once stood. Gone.


    The waves, dark and endless, stretched before her like a vast, uncaring void. She squinted against the soft gleam of the afternoon sun, its light too harsh, too unforgiving on her skin.  She thought it was because she hadn¡¯t received any direct sunlight in 6 months, well, 10 years in reality, but 6 months in that body at the very least. She felt the familiar prickling heat crawling in her hands. Great. Exactly what she needed right now: a sunburn to add to the fun. She shifted slightly, the brim of her hat doing a fantastic job of barely shielding her face.


    Each pull of the oars felt like dragging a dead weight through the water. Oh, wait¡ªthat¡¯s what it was. Herself. Dragging herself through life. Delightful. Her vision blurred as the sea became a smudge of blue and gray, but she blinked it away, refusing to stop. She glanced back. No shore. No land. Not a scrap of hope in sight.


    Her arms were trembling now, her pale hands blistering under the sun¡¯s relentless assault. Every stroke felt like a punishment, like the universe was trying to remind her who was really in charge here. After a final pull, she stopped. The oars slipped from her hands, falling limp across her lap. The boat rocked gently.


    Caruncle let out a long, weary sigh and laid down on the boat, the clouds were slowly covering the sky, but the sun still glowed directly into the boat.


    She had stopped rowing half an hour ago; she couldn¡¯t see land anywhere, and she didn¡¯t know in what direction the mainland was. She didn¡¯t even know where the island they were on was anymore. The horizon blurring into the sky in every direction, leaving her adrift in an endless expanse of water. The sun, once a gentle warmth on her skin, had grown harsh and unrelenting, beating down on her exposed face and arms. Her throat burned with thirst, her lips cracked and dry, and every breath she took was filled with the salt of the sea, the skin she had exposed to the sun felt like burning. She tried to ignore it, just happy that she had finally managed to feel some sun.


    The boat itself was small and worn, its wooden boards creaking under the weight of her despair. The oars lay abandoned at her sides, slick with seawater and sweat, their purpose long forgotten. The gentle rocking of the boat, which might have been soothing under different circumstances, now only served to amplify her disorientation.


    She laid down in the middle of the boat and looked up at the sky. She didn''t feel particularly sad or angry, just rather lonely. The beauty of the woods outside, she had seen it all; the rest was just flavoring people made from their lives. But now that she had seen it all, that she had seen the beauty of the world, there was no need to worry about missing out on anything else.


    Her mother used to say that no matter the time or the place, people would end up committing the same mistakes; it was just human nature. Why would it matter if she missed out on something else in the future? The thought echoed in her mind, mingling with the sound of the waves and the distant cries of seabirds. She closed her eyes, letting the sun¡¯s rays seep through her eyelids, painting the darkness with a warm, red glow.


    I was listening to her, thinking. ¡°I felt a strange happiness after I looked in the mirror. For once, I didn¡¯t hate what I saw. Now, all I want is peace. I just need peace.¡±


    The boat drifted aimlessly. Each wave that lapped against the hull seemed to whisper to her. She wanted to die because she was happy.


    Caruncle, Caruncle...


    ¡°Happiness is a double-edged sword. Once you have seen the meaning, nothing will ever taste the same,¡± she thought to herself. The waves¡¯ lullaby was gentle and comforting.


    ¡°Is that what you really feel?¡± I asked her as if we were having a conversation.


    She heard the birds flying away through the sky, she was happy to have heard them at least one more time. If Jazmin saw her again, she would accept her failure and accept being dissolved into nothingness.She was crying, but I was holding her hand. The tears were warm, mingling with the salt on her skin, tracing paths down her cheeks before disappearing into the fabric of her clothes.


    Why do you cry, Caruncle? You who have the answers to everything that happens in this world, why are you feeling so pointless and lonely? Why do you cry?


    She didn¡¯t answer me. She didn¡¯t even continue her train of thought; she just continued to gaze at the cloudless sky while she heard the waves of the sea lulling her slowly. The boat continued to drift, the distance between her and the shore growing with each passing moment. The sky above was a vast, empty canvas, the sun a relentless eye watching her.


    ¡°Fine, I will take over.¡±


    I took the oars of the boat and looked around. The sky was cloudy, but I could still see the sun on the horizon. I tried to think of a way to guide myself.


    ¡°The sun sets in the west, this time of the year at least¡­ I think, so, if I¡¯m not wrong, if I continue rowing in that direction, I should reach the mainland before the night comes, hopefully¡­¡± I thought to myself.


    I started rowing while I tried to whistle a song with my dry lips. I didn¡¯t remember any specific songs, but I thought that perhaps a melody would come to me to help cheer me up, but my lips were too dry and no melody came out of my mouth.


    End of Act 2.

 18. On Recovery

    The world came into the light. After fighting for so long, after pushing myself until I felt I was about to pass out, I made it. Right now, I¡¯m not afraid that I wouldn¡¯t be able to do something like that again, for the strength exists in me, what worries me is knowing what is the fire that feeds it.


    I had managed to arrive at the coast at sunset, but I felt so incredibly tired that I simply let myself fall on the sand. A couple who were taking a stroll down the beach found me at night and took me to a hospital where I woke up the next morning.


    ¡°Oh, you are awake!¡± A nurse saw me looking at the ceiling and left, a few minutes afterwards a nun dressed in all white came by.


    ¡°Dear, we were so worried about you! How are you feeling?¡±


    I nervously nodded and looked at Elena¡¯s body, it was covered with scarring on the arms and even some skin blisters on the forearms, her face hurt too. She was dressed in a thin, loose-fitting gown made of rough cotton, its pale fabric worn and tied at the back. The sleeves were short and ended just above her elbows, leaving her forearms exposed to the cool air. Her feet were bare, and her tangled hair spilled over the pillow, untouched and unkempt. I slowly raised her arms to touch her face and I felt some blisters on her cheeks. Her whole back felt sore and I was incredibly fatigued.


    ¡°Wait, do not touch yourself! You could get infected!¡± The nun ordered me, I lowered Elena¡¯s arms. ¡°Now, can you please tell me your name?¡±


    I pointed at Elena¡¯s throat and shook her head with an ashamed expression.


    ¡°What is it?¡± The nurse looked at Elena, slightly annoyed. I opened Elena¡¯s mouth, but it seems like she wasn¡¯t understanding. ¡°Dear, if you do not talk, it will be harder for us to help you.¡±


    ¡°Are you unable to speak?¡± The nurse at her side finally asked, I nodded at her, feeling relieved.


    ¡°How come?¡± The nurse asked me, I raised her hands as I shrugged, I had nothing to write on!


    The nurse¡¯s brow furrowed with concern. ¡°Wait here, dear. Let me fetch you something.¡±


    She returned moments later, carrying a small stack of paper and a pencil. She placed them on a firm, wooden board and handed it to me gently. ¡°Here,¡± she said, ¡°you can write down whatever you need to tell us.¡±


    Grateful, I took the pencil and hesitated only briefly before scribbling on the paper. Thankfully the scrap of paper was a lot bigger than the suffocating chalkboard Custodio had for me in the manor.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t been able to talk since I was born. My name is Elena Esparza.¡±


    ¡°Alright, Miss Elena,¡± The nun said. I did note that my mind got distracted as well when she called me Miss. I was finally talking with another human being and being addressed again filled my stomach with complete and utter joy. ¡°You are in Asclepius¡¯s hospital. God of medicine and healing, we need to know who we can contact to take care of you. We took you because you were found passed out last night. We would love to help you and take care of you, but we have limited personnel and beds. Can you tell us what were you doing all by yourself outside far away from the city at those hours? A lady shouldn¡¯t be on her own like that!¡±


    When she mentioned this to me, Custodio came back to my mind. I had completely forgotten about him! He was probably looking for Elena, I didn¡¯t want to go back to his place, but what else could I do?


    ¡°I¡¯m staying at the home of Sebastian Lysias.¡±


    Ha, that was perfect, he could probably take me in, maybe even hide me, or something. I would come up with a plan on the go, what I wanted the most was to get away from the scowling nun as soon as I could.


    ¡°Do you know this man, Lady Arsehole?¡± The nurse said, okay yeah she didn¡¯t call the nun Arsehole, but she was annoying me with that scowl of hers so much that I blocked her name from my mind completely and replaced it with Arsehole every time it was mentioned.


    ¡°Yes, he¡¯s one of those from the¡­ you know.¡± Her frown got even deeper, her abilities to distort her face surprising me even more.


    ¡°Oh, you mean?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I didn¡¯t want to make contact with that group, but as long as this lady is sent away sooner, it¡¯ll have to do, I will be right back, so take care of her in the meantime.¡±


    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±


    ¡°And you young lady, let me tell you that I noticed you ignored my question! You will tell me about what you were doing outside at those hours in a bit!¡± She probably had noticed me smiling when she was about to leave.


    ¡°I feel incredibly tired and sore.¡±


    The nurse''s eyes softened with concern as she glanced over Elena''s blistered skin. ¡°How long were you out in the sun? Your blistering and scarring is quite severe¡ªit almost appears as though you were left there for days. You¡¯ll need proper hydration and plenty of rest for the coming weeks, I¡¯m afraid.¡±


    Maybe I slept for more than one day? That wasn¡¯t likely, Custodio could have found me, although I did feel somewhat hungry, although again I had been rowing for a whole afternoon for fuck¡¯s sake.


    ¡°I spent yesterday afternoon, the sun wasn¡¯t out the whole day.¡±


    ¡°Well, I see,¡± the nurse looked at me, concerned. ¡°You better consult with a physician about this once you can, okay?¡±


    I nodded, she patted me on the head which surprised me quite a bit but I enjoyed it. She left right afterwards, I slowly laid down on the bed and looked around the room. The place was dimly lit, with tall, narrow windows that let in only thin beams of pale light. The once-white walls were now faded and chipped, stained with years of neglect. Iron-framed beds lined the walls, the mattresses thin and sagging, covered with rough, off-white sheets. A faint smell of antiseptic lingered in the air, mingling with the musty scent of age and dampness.


    I had been given a glass of water, but no food. As the hours dragged on, hunger gnawed at me, and by the time night fell, I was starving. Only then did the nurse bring me a small loaf of bread, an apple, and some slices of pineapple. Elena¡¯s whole body felt hot, but the room was so cold that it helped me cool down. I thought about Caruncle, was he observing everything? Maybe he would just think he was the one doing the bidding if I left Elena¡¯s body.


    I tried to perceive him, somehow, the only thing I could feel was a crying, exhausted voice, in the very deep pits of my mind.


    ¡°Yup, there you are,¡± I thought, I noticed I was rolling my eyes, but I was still smiling, I know, I had taken some affection towards my own pet. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, buddy, I¡¯ll get you out of this, somehow.¡± I looked outside the window and into the dark night, letting myself fall asleep to the sound of the crickets around the building.


    You know, being taken care of like this, even if reluctantly, wasn¡¯t half bad. Even when hurt and terribly weakened, it was good to be alive yet again.


    ***


    In the morning I was awakened by the gentle hand of the nurse moving my shoulder. She was only using the tips of her fingers to make sure she wasn¡¯t touching Elena¡¯s blistered arms, why didn¡¯t she touch the feet though?


    ¡°My dear? It is time for you to go home.¡± Ugh, it was the nun. Her hoarse voice was annoying my ears.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    I slowly cleaned the crust of Elena¡¯s eyes and I finally opened to see the dumb face of Sebastian looking at me with horror.


    ¡°Elena! My dear! What on earth happened to you?¡±


    I looked at him carefully, I was feeling very lazy to reach for the stack of paper, but there was something in his appearance that puzzled me somewhat, he looked more like a butler than anything else.


    ¡°Miss Elena, can you hear me?¡±


    I slowly nodded, Elena¡¯s lips felt incredibly dry.


    ¡°I think she¡¯s still waking up, really, I must thank you all for taking such care of her,¡± he bowed towards the nun and the nurse. ¡°I will take her home at once and make sure she recovers properly.¡±


    ¡°Mister Lysias, I do not want to see a lady under your care wandering alone at night on the beach, make sure we do not have any problems like this in the future, understand?¡± I smiled, she had asked me the same thing a couple of times the day before, she didn¡¯t believe I couldn¡¯t talk! She couldn¡¯t believe I couldn''t talk and kept pestering me over and over. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t close yourself to people who are trying to help!¡± but at the end of the day I just didn¡¯t pay attention to her, she was such an eyesore.


    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am, I really apologize for the inconvenience she has caused. Are you able to walk, Miss Elena?¡±


    ¡°Here.¡± The nurse brought a wheelchair to the room to which I slowly sat down in.


    ¡°I would recommend bringing the gown back once you can, it is the hospital''s property.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes! Yes indeed!¡± Sebastian took the handles and finally we left the building. I closed my eyes with the fear of seeing the sun at full force, but thankfully it was cloudy yet again. I slowly sat down inside the carriage and then the funny weird guy that came for me entered.


    ¡°Miss Elena, do you have any idea how I am going to explain this to Mister Esparza?¡±


    Shit, he was going to take me back to the manor, I had to stop him. I took him by the arm right away and looked at him with the most serious face I could make and I shaked my head violently.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    I kept shaking my head, I almost got dizzy.


    ¡°Do you not want to go home?¡±


    I shook it again.


    ¡°But, your father, he must be worried¡­¡±


    I shook my head, more slowly, for I was feeling I was going to puke, I tried to not break eye contact.


    ¡°Well, do you want to go to my home instead?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Uh, alright¡­ but I hope you can explain this to me when we get there.¡±


    I smiled and finally relaxed. Sebastian told the driver to change the course and we finally left the place. I looked at the hospital through the small little window. Its stone facade darkened with age and soot Cracks ran along the walls, like veins of neglect creeping through the structure. Tall, narrow windows, many with chipped glass, were lined with iron bars, giving the building a prison-like appearance. The entrance was marked by heavy wooden doors, worn smooth from years of use, their brass handles tarnished. The surrounding grounds were sparse, with overgrown weeds pushing through the cobblestones, that place looked incredibly creepy from outside.


    ¡°The nurses told me you were found on the beach at night, did anything happen between you and your father?¡±


    I nodded slowly, but didn¡¯t bother to look back at him, I wasn¡¯t in the mood to answer that many questions.


    ¡°And¡­ your face, your arms, I just can¡¯t help but feel alarmed.¡±


    This time I didn¡¯t do anything to tell him I was listening, what was he expecting me to do? Give him smoke signs?


    ¡°I remember very well what Miss Ashford had told me, it is not my intention to overstep my boundaries but I have to mention that this situation is making me really worried. I hope that you do not think ill of me for getting worked over this, your well being is of a big importance to me.¡±


    I kept a small smile on Elena''s face, hoping it said enough. I looked at the worn out streets as the carriage passed by and we left the city and we ventured into the countryside. It was so beautiful, it had been so long since I had taken a ride with Caruncle, the only time we had left the manor since we were taken by Custodio was when Lucia invited us to her state and even then Custodio didn¡¯t let us get out of the carriage through the whole trip.


    I was still feeling incredibly tired, I should probably have been panicking for Custodio, but I just felt a deep sense of pace inside of me. And Caruncle being all mopey and sad, yes, that too. It was as he was asleep, but I could feel how sad his dreams were. Sadly, I wasn¡¯t able to turn it off, so the best I could do was just ignore it.


    ***


    I had fallen asleep on the trip, but Sebastian woke me up gently when we arrived. I cleaned my eyes and got out of the thing. The house was large but not ostentatious, with tall, narrow windows framed by dark shutters. A polished brass knocker adorned the heavy oak door, which opened onto a neatly manicured garden.


    ¡°Young master!¡± I saw a maid waiting for us at the entrance, she was quite chubby and a bit old, maybe around her 50s. ¡°I was worried when you left so suddenly! And who is the lady you brought along with you? What happened to her?¡±


    ¡°Dolores, this is Miss Elena Esparza, she just left the hospital and asked me to help her. I¡¯ll tell you about the details later.¡±


    ¡°Miss Elena? The Miss Elena you talk so much about? So this is her?¡±


    ¡°Dolores, please, not now!¡±


    ¡°It is very nice to meet you, the young master right here has told us a lot about you, I¡¯m the head maid of this house and I will be making sure all your needs are met.¡±


    I slowly nodded at her with a slight smile. She stood silent as if waiting for an answer from me, the moment felt incredibly awkward the more time passed.


    ¡°Are you sick?¡±


    ¡°Oh, Miss Elena can¡¯t speak, she¡¯s mute.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you poor thing! What happened? Is it related to what happened to your face?¡±


    ¡°Dolores, please, I need you to be more aware of what you are saying!¡±


    ¡°What? What did I say?¡±


    ¡°Listen, Miss Elena hasn¡¯t been able to speak since she was born, it is not anything new of the sort, I would rather find her a room where she can rest before we can continue the conversation, would that be alright with you?¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes, young master! Right away! Please, follow me inside, there is a guest room on the second floor with a second you that she¡¯ll probably enjoy.¡±


    ¡°Perfect.¡±


    We walked up stairs, Sebastian was telling me about every single thing around his house as if he was giving me a tour.


    ¡°Not many people know this, I even keep it a secret to everyone in the circle, but my father died 5 years ago. He was a very good merchant back in his day, this house is his, he left me everything he owned and I basically just supervise most businesses he worked on from time to time.¡±


    Finally, we entered the guest room, this room wasn¡¯t actually monochrome like Elena¡¯s own room back at Custodio¡¯s manor, which made me glad. The walls were brown and the bed sheets were green, the ceiling was also green, and the floor was covered on a blue carpet.


    ¡°Maybe I should change the sheets now before she goes to sleep. Those ones on are clean but I changed them a week ago already, maybe if the lady can wait for a while in the living room¨C¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Dolores. Let¡¯s allow Elena to sleep for nwo with the current sheets and tomorrow once she¡¯s feeling better, we can change them.¡±


    ¡°Oh, sir¡­ if you say so.¡±


    The maid left us alone afterwards and Sebastian closed the door. He handed me his notebook and pen so I could write again.


    ¡°Now, are you going to tell me what happened?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡±


    ¡°Please, if you do not tell me, it will be a lot harder for me to help you.¡±


    I could feel Caruncle on the verge of crying when he thought about yesterday, on the other hand, I just felt incredibly angry.


    ¡°Let me just say that my father is a sick bastard.¡±


    Sebastian read what I had written, but he didn¡¯t answer back, I was looking down at my hands, not wanting to face him, I didn¡¯t know what face I would end up making with all the feelings bottling up inside of me.


    ¡°If he asks for me, please do not tell him I¡¯m here.¡±


    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s just focus on getting you better first of all. What about your burns? What happened?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I had to row the whole way from a weird island he took me to yesterday, the nurse said it was not normal to be so sunburnt for such a short time, so I will have to consult a physician later.¡±


    ¡°An island? What island?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I don¡¯t know its name.¡±


    Sebastian sighed and took the notebook, looking at it as if it was a very fragile creature he felt a truly great pity for.


    ¡°Okay, so, first things first, I think I will ask a physician to come tomorrow, so he can take a good look at you. How are you feeling? Would you like to take some rest by now?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I also feel incredibly thirsty.¡±


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll make sure one of the maids brings you some water,¡± Sebastian stood up and opened the door, but he turned back to face me back again. ¡°I¡¯ll arrange so some clothes are made for you as well.¡±


    I nodded with a slight smile. I felt thankful for the help, I truly did. I know I said I thought he was annoying, but that didn¡¯t mean he wasn¡¯t very reliable. Once the door closed, I looked at the mirror and finally saw Elena¡¯s face. Yeah, maybe it looked a bit rough, maybe even swollen? But it was still her face. I had forgotten how my face really looked long ago, yes, as a ghost, I can see myself in the mirror, that wasn¡¯t the issue, the issue is that my own image changed based on the perception of myself. It was handy considering I could just imagine my own wardrobe and it would come to me, but my face, my face was something I had accidentally changed many times in the past, and I couldn¡¯t remember¡­ I couldn¡¯t really remember how I looked when I was alive at all.


    Elena¡¯s face was cute, yeah, she was still cute, maybe it wasn¡¯t my face, so looking at her still felt really weird, but it didn¡¯t upset me. It was something I could work with. I looked at the other parts of Elena¡¯s body, but only the weariness and sleepiness came to my senses for me to even think about them. I repeated to myself, even if I felt like shit, it was incredibly soothing to finally feel something yet again, I was taking the pain with as much grace as I could.


    ¡°Well, Caruncle, Elena, I know it is close to noon right now, but really, I think we need to take some rest.¡± I extended the curtains of the room, also a dark green, and finally, I went back to sleep, the glass of water still not arriving when I closed my eyes, it was fine, nothing was exactly perfect anyway.

 19. On Professions

    The next day I was in a daze, I ended up sleeping all afternoon only waking up to have dinner and then going right back to sleep. The guest room in Sebastian¡¯s house wasn¡¯t as cold as the one at the hospital, but it was chilly enough for me and that allowed me to relax. Dolores had said yesterday I should take a bath but I didn¡¯t want anything to touch Elena¡¯s arms or her face, not even water.


    I slowly woke up and sat down on the bed, my drowsiness was finally receding but I still didn¡¯t want to stand up or do anything. I looked at Elena¡¯s body, Elena was a very pale girl, sometimes I thought she was always sick or something, but even then, I found her really cute, naturally. Her body was slim and she was quite tall too. Could you believe that in the six months Caruncle spent in her body he didn¡¯t dare to look a damn thing? It was always looking away from the mirrors, staring at the wall or the ceiling when taking a bath, he was so afraid, so ashamed, what a tool.


    I closed and opened Elena¡¯s hand repeatedly, feeling her fingers as they moved. I could remember how Caruncle felt in the basement, I could still feel the sensation.


    There was so much noise coming from the hallway too, the maids kept chattering over and over, moving things around, why were there so many people in that house? It annoyed me, Caruncle and I had to endure so much shit, but now what was bothering me the most was that noise coming from outside the room. How had we ended up in such an annoying place?


    I felt angry.


    Caruncle thought about Lopez, stupid Lopez, and not just him, but his own family too. I thought that maybe we could leave and go far away, in a country where the snow actually fell and we could get the warm embrace of spring once the equinox started. It didn¡¯t matter how, I could just leave if I wanted.


    But, Caruncle was afraid, I could fill his fear drilling into my head. He didn¡¯t want to go anywhere, he didn¡¯t want to do anything, he was ready to jump into a tomb and sleep for the rest of his days. I didn¡¯t want to just escape and make him go into a panic. The noises outside the room, they annoyed me so much, the blisters, the tiredness, the fact that it wasn¡¯t even my home, Caruncle was sad as a broken toy and I was pissed off.


    ¡°Miss Elena, time for breakfast!¡± It was then when Dolores came up, I thought she had brought me breakfast to the room but she didn¡¯t have anything in her hands, I raised Elena¡¯s hands as if asking her what I had to do.


    ¡°Oh, you thought I was going to bring you breakfast? No no no! You will have to come to the dining room, miss! In this house, everyone eats along with everyone! Besides, it will help you get out of that bed!¡±


    Oh no, I had found someone even more annoying than Mortimer.


    In the dining room I decided to take some rest and let Caruncle handle matters on his own. He sat along with the other maids and servants of the house, there were at least 10 of us, Dolores included. He¡­ Well, fine, she started eating on his own, and I tried thinking to distract myself from the underlying anger I was experiencing.


    ¡°She¡¯s beautiful!¡± One of the maids said, she looked really young, she was probably 18 or younger.


    But I needed to focus. I wasn¡¯t going anywhere, do you know why? If you lived on a lonely island and your only company was a cat, even if it was the ugliest cat in existence, you would get attached to them, right? And if someone kicked and pissed and farted on your cat, you would get mad at them, right? Right? Well, I felt the same thing with the people who had hurted Caruncle, and I was pretty fucking pissed off.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t she talk?¡± Another maid asked, she had gray hair but otherwise her face looked young too and barely had any wrinkles.


    ¡°Oh no, she¡¯s mute, sadly.¡± Dolores answered, Caruncle kept chewing at the dry bread while looking at the table as if she couldn¡¯t hear them at all.


    But where was I? Yes, I wanted everyone to pay, I looked back at my own fingers which now just looked like Elena¡¯s fingers, all pale and lacking any sort of life. My fingers, while they looked different now, were still there, but Caruncle¡¯s fingers¡­ his fingers¡­ I could still remember how they looked after all those years, I remembered the dark basement, I remembered the countless days where Caruncle kept crying until he lost his voice, he cried until his eyes hurted so much they felt like they were drilling into his skull, I remembered everything.


    ¡°She looks very shy too, miss?¡±


    ¡°Oh please, let her! She¡¯s probably half asleep! Dolores just can¡¯t wait for anybody so we can all start to eat.¡±


    ¡°Half asleep?¡±


    ¡°Well I don¡¯t know! My father sometimes eats half asleep when my mom calls him for dinner.¡±


    I remembered every single detail, and for that, everyone was going to pay twofold, no, tenfold, they were going to pay, every single last one of them, because nobody messed up with my cat, my pet, my lonely and lost, beloved wandering soul.


    ¡°She¡¯s so so pretty, I don¡¯t think I have seen anyone as pretty as her in my life.¡±


    ¡°Oh, now you are just teasing her!¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s true!¡±


    They were going to¡­ pay. I was going to swear¡­ What¡­ What was I thinking about again?


    ¡°Look look, she¡¯s blushing! Miss, we know you can hear us, so why won¡¯t you look at us?¡±


    Those damned maids! They were distracting me! I could feel Caruncle¡¯s emotions influencing me, making me lose my train of thought, Elena¡¯s stomach was filled with butterflies, so many butterflies, Caruncle felt she was about to explode, Elena¡¯s hands started to tremble, I could palpate the deep quivering that filled Caruncle¡¯s heart when the maids said Elena¡¯s body was beautiful. I couldn¡¯t think in the slightest! She looked up towards them.


    ¡°Oh!¡± A lot of them gasped when she raised her eyes, she thought things were starting to get awkward so she smiled.


    ¡°Miss, you are so pretty!¡±


    Scratch the butterflies, what she actually had in her stomach was an infernal pit of acid that was threatening to consume her entirely. I was so distracted but I still had to think about my life path and career choices. Caruncle lowered her head and kept eating. Okay so now, what was I going to do? I couldn¡¯t speak, I didn¡¯t have a home. The better choice was to escape rather than entertaining any foolish thoughts of hatred. I knew that giving Caruncle a new environment, a new place for him to be in would do him a lot of good, but now, the only person that I trusted was Sebastian¡­


    ¡°That¡¯s not a woman.¡± One of the maids said, I felt Elena¡¯s heart skip a beat. ¡°That¡¯s a damn angel!¡± The whole group laughed, she couldn¡¯t even move anymore, she couldn¡¯t move, she was too embarrassed. The whole breakfast went like this for a long while.


    ***


    I¡¯m going to skip ahead because there wasn''t too much else to say, I just felt deeply frustrated about everything and the next few days I kept fantasizing about breaking Lopez''s neck with my own hands. Several days where I just spent on bed weak and tired, and lots of ugly tears and frustration over our situation. Nobody needs to hear any of that. One thing I managed to be productive about was asking Sebastian to give me a report about each one of the people we knew back then, he obliged, no questions asked.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    The carriage rumbled down the cobblestone streets, its wheels grinding over the uneven stones, I never got used to that sensation. The thick fog outside clung to the cracked buildings, their once-grand fa?ades now crumbling under the weight of neglect. Gas lamps flickered weakly, casting long shadows over the narrow alleyways.


    We stopped in front of an old building made of stone, marble? It looked almost like a church. After a few minutes, Sebastian got inside, seated across from me. We continued moving. I was gazing through the window at the city. The carriage passed by figures in the mist¡ªsilent, forgotten souls wrapped in tattered clothing, it was kinda sad really.


    ¡°Miss Elena,¡± Sebastian said, his voice was tired and sounded as if he had been running a lot. ¡°This is the report you requested.¡±


    I finally turned from the window, my eyes narrowing. I nodded at him. Sebastian opened the folder, the rustling of paper the only sound within the carriage as the streets outside loomed in silence. He glanced down at the documents and looked at me.


    ¡°Valentin Periwinkle,¡± he began, ¡°has become a lawyer and political advisor. It. He has positioned himself as a force of influence, there are no reports of him leading any sort of revolution or movement in the last few years as you asked, and while he isn¡¯t accepted completely since he was born Lucianan, he uses his Basilian ascendancy to get political influence? I think? I don¡¯t get what the detective meant about that here, but that¡¯s the gist of it.¡±


    Elena¡¯s lips curled into a faint smile as I thought about him, there was no warmth in it though, I can assure you.


    Sebastian inclined his head. ¡°His profession suits him, miss. He could be useful. His position in law grants him the power to push for reforms¡ªsuch as the very anti-slavery law you seek!¡± Yeah, I had mentioned that to him, at the moment that was the only path I had to back Lopez into a corner, but the process would probably be agonizingly slow.


    The carriage jolted as it passed over a particularly rough patch of stone, but my gaze remained fixed on Sebastian. He continued, flipping to the next page. ¡°As for Percival... he is now a merchant and financial investor. He invests in all manner of ventures, including, I suspect, some that profit from the darker dealings of the world.¡± I rolled Elena¡¯s eyes at what he said, my lips betrayed me though because they kept on smiling while the clown in front of me kept doing his unfunny faces.


    The carriage passed by a crumbling monument, it seemed to be a soldier standing his ground, but who really was I had no idea, neither I remembered who he was.


    ¡°Zuriel,¡± Sebastian continued, ¡°He remains an aristocrat and landowner.¡±


    A sharp turn took the carriage down a narrower street, we were in that area of the city where most houses were built in adobe but these houses were always painted in an ugly brown I didn¡¯t like, why not paint it other colors? It was all so dull looking.


    I looked back at Sebastian since he had stopped reading. I got him staring at me all like an idiot. He then turned to the next page. ¡°About Evelyn, she has become an artist, miss. What kind of artist? Well, all kinds it seems. She spends her days lost in her work¡ªpainting, sculpting, writing. She is well known, but I haven¡¯t seen any of them so that¡¯s homework to do for us, I guess, if you are interested.¡±


    Sebastian nodded and moved to the final name. ¡°Felicity hasn¡¯t been up to that much? She has been living with the wealth of her family. She indulges in everything. Food, drink, luxury, but¡­ I think her parents have been putting pressure on her since she hasn¡¯t gotten married, most of the people here are private individuals and it is not as easy to gather information about her.¡±


    The carriage slowed as it reached a square, the fog thickening until the buildings far away became little more than silhouettes in the distance. I took a deep breath. Sebastian closed the folder, his face impassive. ¡°Do you personally know any of these people?¡± I didn¡¯t nod, shake my head, or answer in any way, I just turned my gaze back to the city, to the broken streets. What was odd to me was that nothing else had really happened since I left, Caruncle had been the piece of the puzzle towards independence, sure, but he was still, just one piece of the puzzle! What the hell had happened? Everyone had become lazy, and now, the world Caruncle and I both knew had stopped existing! Poof!


    The carriage rolled forward again, deeper into the heart of the city, its wheels a quiet, irregular rhythm against the stone roads. The stones, man, seriously, they annoyed me more than you would think, they were like jigged weird shapes that ruined what would otherwise be a very steady trip. I grabbed the folder from Sebastian¡¯s hands and read the reports myself.


    I thought that if I didn¡¯t organize myself and go step by step I was going to lose my mind, I said I would focus on Lopez first. What could I even do, though? I knew a lot of things about that world, Caruncle remembered too what he had learned at the library, but not much. 17 years had been since he was there at all, was it 17 years? No, 19, well no matter, my memory wasn¡¯t even as good as I remembered either.


    ¡°Caruncle, this is fucked, we are fucked.¡± I could barely remember things about Caruncle¡¯s own life, the further I went it time, the more dizzy my memories seemed to get, that was just depressing.


    I wasn¡¯t well versed in possession or anything of the sort, what seemed to feel like at the time is that Caruncle thought that my actions were his, and also he seemed to be half asleep somehow when I was at the front? Maybe after I learned more about how it worked I could write a Possession 101. Long story short though, leaving the country was a no go, if Caruncle was too much of a chicken, fine, if he was so afraid of repeating his previous folly with Lila, we could stay, but I definitely was going to do something about that mopiness of his. I was going to focus on Lopez first, Lopez, Lopez, dear Lopez. What could I even do? What had it been of Lopez before Caruncle came to this world? Lopez had been sentenced to death since people considered him a barbarian, the circle of mystics had been killed too, but I didn¡¯t remember why. Most of our intel in the world was turning more and more obsolete because Caruncle hadn¡¯t done his job and the effort it would take us to go from our point A to the original point B would be ridiculous.


    When they first met , Caruncle had asked Sebastian himself to gather some arsenic and mercury so he could kill him back when they first met. How was that going to work? I had no idea how, maybe he wanted to put it on his tea or something, but no, that wasn¡¯t going to cut it for me. I thought to myself we had to work smarter, not harder. Looking at the folder, it seemed that everyone had been doing quite well since they sold Caruncle, pretty well, in fact. I felt a knot on my stomach forming as I read the entries.


    I didn''t even want them to talk to me or even coexist with me when I knew what they really were. Lopez and Caruncle¡¯s family were part of a group of power-hungry bastards that liked to force ownership between humans when the only thing they needed to own a person''s soul was money from an ill-gotten job. The more I read their entries in the folder I had in my hands, the angrier I got. I hoped I would never have the misfortune of having to deal with any of them or their power dynamics, to beg for a glass of water or to not be treated like a fucking animal. I hoped I would never have the misfortune of having to base myself worth in following the ideals of empty beings like them who hide themselves in the mask of pragmatism and the rules of power. I hoped to never find myself with the illusion again that there was such a thing as a place to belong.


    They were an example of the worst things of mankind, they would let themselves go by the chain in a desperate attempt to give some meaning to their sad miserable existence. They made me sick. I decided I would never hold myself back again because even if we forced ourselves every single day of the year to pass unnoticed like Caruncle did, they wouldn¡¯t forgive us for the one day we made them feel uncomfortable, like that wretched day when Caruncle confessed to them his own feelings. They villainized him because he inconvenienced them. They all knew they were pathetic, god damn pathetic.


    They were no better than Satan or Jazmin herself. They just pretended that they were better because they followed their stupid ass bureaucratic rules and talked between themselves so they could shake their own hands in secret and jerk themselves off. They were not the government, they were not part of anything, they were just a bunch of stupid losers who looked for the most backwards as fuck reason to destroy someone that they don¡¯t like in a way that soothes their stupid ass morals to make them feel as if they did a good thing. They knew that fucking well. This was not, and it would never be, about the good of the family. What did they think Caruncle was going to do? To run around naked in the street? To spread the spooky sex change disease? To bring something that they deeply felt inside and didn''t want to accept? For all the days Caruncle cried, they didn¡¯t give a fuck, I didn¡¯t want to hear one single line coming out of their fucking whore mouths.


    They were going to pay.


    ¡°Miss Elena, are you alright? You have been frowning quite a lot for some time now.¡±


    I covered my face and thought to myself. ¡°Leave me alone, you absolute goon.¡±

 20. On Clothing

    I remembered that when Caruncle was taken to Mr. Lopez¡¯s mansion he was unconscious, but now that he was awake, he finally got to see the landscape from the city of Vadorreal to the outskirts of the state. Let me explain a bit about how things were located and all that. So, there was the Basilian Empire, we didn¡¯t live there, so don¡¯t worry about that. We all were in the country of Luciana, which was a colony of the Empire for the last 200 years since conquerors from the old continent came here. Anyway, there was the main capital, Vadorreal, located at the center of the country itself, and around it there were several countryside¡­ communities? Villages? Rural states? Well, it doesn''t matter. Custodio and Sebastian lived around 8 to 10 hours away from the main city taking a carriage, Lopez lived 12 hours away. Yes, we had never been that far away from home, I guess.


    The road to Sebastian¡¯s manor was, thankfully, different to the one we had taken when Caruncle tried to escape with the woman he had met, they had left south, but Sebastian and the others lived north of the city. The landscape was quite beautiful too by the way, it was all covered in plain, green grass, but it was always so cold and filled with fog to the point of looking enchanted. There was a train railway being built the last 10 years, it was apparently almost complete, or so they said.


    ¡°We definitely need a house in the city, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s really convenient to make the trip from the city to the house every time.¡± I wrote on a piece of paper.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s what I have said, you said we were going to make only a single visit, so I didn¡¯t make any arrangements for other residences in the area.¡± Sebastian said apologetically.


    ¡°Yes, and I apologize. I didn¡¯t think it would be necessary to stay, but I have changed my mind. Do you think you can prepare something so we can go and live in the city in 2 months or so?¡± I tried writing as little as possible since writing in a moving carriage was a pain in the ass, but I felt ashamed of my silliness, I wanted to act nice.


    ¡°I think it can be done.¡±


    ¡°You have a lot of funds on your behalf, right?¡±


    ¡°Ah! Well, yes, I do. Why do you ask, miss?¡±


    ¡°Make sure to get us a pretty house, nothing too ostentatious, but at least classy enough.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll see what I can do.¡±


    Sebastian¡¯s father had been a very successful merchant when he had been alive. I wasn¡¯t really sure what he sold though, since Sebastian always mentioned something different. I have heard about sugar, coffee and¡­ get this, rubber. As long as I could use his funds, things would be relatively feasible.


    We entered and I walked up to the balcony on the second floor. I had already healed but I didn¡¯t want to spend any time in the sunlight while I had the appointment with the physician. I sat on a rocking chair and looked at the garden. The garden had white, pink, and red roses. Bellflowers, lollipop plants, orchids and anthuriums. A bit of an odd ensemble, but nevertheless quite the colorful one.


    ¡°Miss Elena? This letter is for you.¡± One of the younger maids approached me with an envelope in her hand. She had startled me and when she saw my reaction, she laughed, I nodded and took the thing. I looked at the envelope, it was from Custodio.


    I raised my head alarmed, I was about to take the maid by the arms and try to somehow ask her who had delivered the thing to the house and if she had told them I was there, but when I looked she had already left.


    ¡°That idiot!¡± I thought. I opened the letter and read it a few times, it said the following:


    ¡°Miss Elena, you are the woman that I have accepted as my daughter. I apologize for not coming to see you directly, but I sense that at this moment you would rather not see me, and the emotion and joy I feel right now is making it hard for me to contain myself, this letter shall suffice for now. When we first met the situations we were forced into didn¡¯t allow us to know each other properly. You couldn¡¯t trust me, and I couldn¡¯t trust you either. Naturally you will understand if I want to keep to myself the number of people that have gone through the procedure in that body, but trust me when I say there has been a lot. When the person in Elena¡¯s body wakes up, it is a very arduous adjusting process, just like it is for you, it is for me, even Mortimer. I give all my love, all my devotion to the people who take the mantle of Elena, for I consider myself a very caring father. Sadly, this is not something that is easily reciprocated. Most people do not accept their new life or their new place, and they turn against me or simply reject me, which hurts me deeply. Now, while there have been a few people who have accepted to become part of my family, they are simply¡­ incomplete.


    Let me explain, by incomplete I mean that they lack true and distinct will, they are, at the end of the day, no more than walking corpses to me. They are always disposed to playing the part of my daughter to me and do not get on my nerves, but they do not have any ambition or anything they feel they want to live for. That is why Mortimer and I have come with the ultimate test of will. In this test, I turn myself temporarily into a villain and I mention the proposal of marriage. As you might know, this proposal is rather shocking and vulgar, it would make everyone¡¯s skin crawl as soon as they heard it. This is something that at the very least, you would want to avoid or escape, this is the basis of our own test. After the donors have been with us for some time, we take them with us to the Island of the Morning Star, and they are given an opportunity to escape. If they do not escape and surrender themselves to their own luck, it means to us that even in the most dire of circumstances, they do not have anything to live for, and after this, they lose the right to keep me as their parent. This, Miss Elena, is the test you just went through, this test that you, and I say this with all the happiness in the world, have successfully passed, and this is the test that finally wins your place for the rest of time as my one and only daughter. Not my wife, not my fiance or anything of the sort, my daughter, and only that.


    The light that shines inside you, that light that helped you take the reigns of your own self and helped you go pass your own adversity, that light is what I am looking for, it is the light that I have lost since so long ago when I first lost Elena, the first Elena, and the light that I want to see more of. I know that this revelation might upset you, but right now I want to assure you that you can count with me and Mortimer as part of your family, forever and always. Please, come home.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s an absolute moron!¡± I huffed in annoyance, huffed? Is that the right word? Whatever, Custodio could probably be the biggest moron in the history of all morons, ever, more than Caruncle, more than me or anyone else. He was incredibly stupid.


    ¡°Miss Elena? Are you alright?¡± Sebastian appeared out of nowhere and I got startled again, I don¡¯t know, I was usually on the edge, so it happened frequently, sometimes I thought people would just creep towards me on purpose. I handed him the letter.


    ¡°I see¡­¡± He looked attentively at the letter for several minutes and finally sat at my side on a couch leaning against the wall.


    I wasn¡¯t going to think about it any further, not for a while, it wasn¡¯t worth my attention.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    ***


    The reason I had asked Sebastian to wait 2 months to get us a place to stay in the city was because I wanted us to learn sign language so I could properly communicate with him without having to rely on paper all the time. That time ended up extending into 4 months because there were days where Caruncle overwhelmed me and I ended up not doing anything, he would just look at the sky and the garden and feel all mopey and sad, it was a real chore. If we made the math, it had been, 6 months since I was taken by Custodio, one month since I went to Sebastian¡¯s house and visited the city, and then 4 months learning sign language and any other subject matter that I felt would help me out, history, arts, politics, etiquette and other crap like that. I just wanted to occupy my mind while I was unable to concentrate on anything else.


    There were days where I abandoned the wheel from the ship. Not because Caruncle was being miserable, but because the maids were being annoying. When people got annoyed I just left because I usually never felt in the mood to deal with it. The maids, bustling around Elena while holding delicate fabrics¡ªsilks and satins that shimmered in the light. The pale lights of the house annoyed me, they were too weak to be actually useful. Caruncle¡¯s gaze flitted nervously toward the full-length mirror that stood waiting in the corner, the reflection it promised both tantalizing and terrifying. It was funny to see him squirm around in Elena¡¯s body, he was ashamed to see her in the mirror and blushed frequently, he was ashamed, so ashamed that it was just delightful.


    ¡°Hold still, Miss Elena,¡± murmured one of the maids as she lifted a corset, her voice kind but practiced, as if she had dressed a thousand women before. To Elena, this was new, almost sacred. He breathed in deeply as the corset was laced around Elena¡¯s waist, the stays tightening, pulling her closer to a form she had longed to inhabit.


    ¡°A form she longed to inhabit? Really? Is that what you are thinking about Caruncle? Can you be even more¡­ you know what, nevermind.¡± I could feel the butterflies as he detailed her waist and hips, everytime it happened I just rolled up my eyes. ¡°You have to make a mountain out of a molehill, every time.¡±


    The fabric of the corset, embroidered with roses, pressed snugly against her skin, a sensation both foreign and welcome. He felt her posture adjust, her shoulders pulling back slightly as if her body was reshaping itself to match the woman in the mirror.


    ¡°How does it feel, Miss?¡± asked the youngest maid, her hands smoothing out the layers of petticoats that would give the dress its shape.


    Caruncle shrugged. The maids chuckled their hands moving quickly, folding and pinning the layers of cream-colored skirts that swirled around Elena''s legs.


    A third maid approached with the dress itself¡ªa deep burgundy gown, rich and opulent. The neckline was modest but elegant, somehow, it was trimmed with lace that framed her collarbones, a delicate touch that made Caruncle¡¯s heart flutter. They lifted the gown over her head, settling it onto her frame with precision, the fabric sliding against Elena¡¯s skin like water.


    Once the dress was on, they stepped back, allowing her a moment to feel the weight of it, to sense how it draped over her.


    Caruncle stood, almost too afraid to move, as the maids adjusted the gown¡ªsmoothing a wrinkle here, tightening a seam there. Her breath caught when they placed a small, silver mirror in her hands, urging her to look at her reflection. But Caruncle hesitated. What if she wasn¡¯t ready to see?


    ¡°It¡¯s been 11 months for fuck¡¯s sake!¡± I yelled.


    ¡°Your hair, Miss,¡± one of the maids murmured, finally breaking her from the trance. Her hands moved swiftly, pulling the waves of Elena¡¯s hair into a loose but elegant chignon at the nape of her neck, leaving a few curls to frame her face. When the maid was finished, she stepped back, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.


    ¡°Now, Miss Elena,¡± she said, her tone gentle yet encouraging, ¡°Look.¡±


    Elena exhaled slowly, her fingers trembling slightly as she lifted the mirror. The woman who stared back at her was someone familiar (she had seen her for quite a while already, come on), yet unfamiliar at the same time.


    ¡°Let¡¯s face it, Caruncle, it isn¡¯t you, it¡¯s not you, because we know what you are, what you really look like.¡± I said, he didn¡¯t seem to listen butI thought he probably agreed with my notion. Elena¡¯s hair was swept up, elegant and poised. The burgundy gown hugged her frame, accentuating her curves in a way that made her feel undeniably feminine, the fabric whispering with every small shift of her body.


    She blinked, unsure of how to process the emotions swelling within her chest. The corset cinching her waist, the gown flowing around her¡ªit was not merely clothing, for her it was armor, a shield that gave her strength. It was as though the dress itself acknowledged her, affirmed her, declared her a woman. Beautiful, beautiful like no other, beautiful like no other woman she had ever seen.


    I was getting dizzy, if I kept reading Caruncle¡¯s tons of endless cheese I would end up throwing up, I didn¡¯t know how, but I was going to throw up.


    One of the maids, noticing Elena¡¯s expression, stepped forward and adjusted the lace at the neckline with delicate care. ¡°You look beautiful, Miss Elena,¡± she said softly, and this time, the words struck deep.


    Elena lowered the mirror, a small smile tugging at her lips. She tried to whisper a thank you, but as always, she failed. I was waiting for her to run away in shame so I could laugh, but she was paralyzed in her place. She turned towards the full-length mirror across the room. This time, when she gazed at her reflection.


    The woman standing in the mirror was real. He looked at every fabric, every fold of the gown, and every delicate wave of her hair. Caruncle swore to himself that he would do his best to make his lady happy.


    ¡°You are a creep, dude.¡± I chuckled awkwardly as I scratched my forehead, I was the one feeling embarrassed.


    ¡°Oh, Miss Elena,¡± one of the maids said, her voice dropping into a murmur as she stepped closer, straightening the lace on Elena¡¯s sleeve. Her fingers brushed lightly against Elena¡¯s arm. ¡°You¡¯re going to drive them all mad once you go to live in the city, you know. A vision like you¡­¡±


    Elena¡¯s heart skipped, her lips parting slightly. She glanced away, trying to hide the warmth creeping up her neck. What was going on?


    ¡°You¡¯ll be the envy of every woman there,¡± the other maids looked at the one close to her, a bit weirded out. Her eyes twinkled as she bent to adjust the hem of Elena¡¯s gown. She lingered just a second longer than required, her fingers brushing the delicate fabric as if it were something precious. ¡°And not just the men, if I may be so bold.¡± What the hell was going on with that maid? I was starting to panic.


    Caruncle blinked, her breath catching in her throat. She turned her head slightly, catching the maid¡¯s gaze in the mirror. The room fell into a hush, the air heavy with a tension that was palpable. Elena swallowed, her throat dry as her eyes darted between the maid and her. Her smile was innocent, playful¡ªbut there was something more behind them. I didn¡¯t like the look of it one bit.


    Elena shook her head slightly, trying to laugh off the moment, but the maid only pressed closer, their eyes dancing with unspoken affection. ¡°You¡¯re far too modest, Miss,¡± she said, her fingers lightly brushing Elena¡¯s collar as she straightened the lace. ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s time to accept just how captivating you are?¡± No way dude, no way, what the fuck, what the fucking fuck. I was about to pass out, that maid was insane!


    The words hung in the air, and for a moment, Elena¡¯s heart pounded loudly in her ears. I could swear for my life that the look on her eyes, her look in her eyes was genuine, a moment of endless beauty that seemed to stretch for an eternity, the maid''s eyes brightened as she looked at her, and in that moment, that single moment alone, nothing else mattered. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but naturally, the words failed her. Instead, I took over and let out a soft, breathless chuckle, shaking our head as if to dismiss her teasing. I lifted her hand in a gentle gesture, signaling for everyone to ease off, though Caruncle¡¯s blush betrayed my embarrassment. The maids broke in and endless laughter. My eyes widened in surprise, my breath catching in her chest relieved that I had managed to stop their teasing. For a moment, I was utterly still, unsure whether to laugh or frown.


    ¡°You people are a bunch of clowns.¡± I thought. God, they were incredibly annoying, so fucking annoying. I let out a silent laugh, the corners of Elena¡¯s lips curling upward as I tilted her head ever so slightly in mock exasperation. I gestured toward the door, a motion that said somewhat ¡°Enough of this nonsense¡± or something like that.


    The maids, grinning from ear to ear, curtsied with exaggerated formality. ¡°As you wish, Miss Elena,¡± one of them said, her voice still laced with laughter. I forced a smile and left the body while Elena''s heart was still fluttering, Caruncle turned back toward the mirror, finally alone. She smoothed the fabric of the gown, feeling the lingering warmth on it and butterflies inside her stomach.


    ¡°Okay, from now on, we are banning dresses.¡± I said.

 21. On Budget

    I was ecstatic, things were finally starting to happen, finally, after all the time sulking on bed and hating everything around me, things were finally starting to happen, we were finally, finally after so long, getting some shit done. We were going to meet Valentin.


    Now, Valentin wasn¡¯t really ¡°a lawyer¡± or a ¡°political advisor¡± that had been Sebastian being stupid while skimming through the report he got me made back then, Valentin actually was a member of the parliament, he did work as a political advisor, but he surely was no lawyer or ever worked as one. In any case, we were going to present ourselves and just say if we could get him on our side, somehow.


    We went to his place, it was in a narrow, crooked street, flanked by dilapidated buildings. The stucco walls were gray. The windows were half-shattered and covered with rusting iron bars. The cobblestones beneath were uneven and cracked. The dark brick exterior of the building was smeared with soot and grime.


    I asked myself what fucks did I even give about Caruncle¡¯s family yet again before entering.


    The private salon was a jewel of elegance tucked away from the bustling streets of the smelly city. That night, a soft amber light bathed the room, it was annoyingly pale but at least it was brighter than the lights you would see at Sebastians home. The light was cast by low-hanging chandeliers with flickering candles. The flickering annoyed me, but the chandeliers were pretty. The air carried the faint scent of lavender, but mingled with the disgusting smoke of cigars.


    Elena was wearing a fitted frock coat in deep purple velvet, cinched tightly at the waist with a corset underneath. It was a bit of a design the maids and myself came out with, they wanted something that emphasized her curves because they liked to see Caruncle''s reactions. I wanted something that gave at least a slight air of authority, somehow, I wanted something that said I meant business. It was actually a pain to create because the maids just thought I was crazy, but the result ended up being quite okay. The ensemble had flowing trousers that almost resembled a skirt. There was a high-collared white shirt peeking out from under the coat, with lace adorning the cuffs. The maids also added some silver buttons that glimmered along the front of the coat, ¡°each one intricately engraved¡±, they said, and there was also a black ribbon tied at the neck.


    I made damn sure to follow the handful of etiquette lessons I got, making sure every step I made was calculated, graceful, pretty a bit. It was exhilarating to remember I was actually alive, and I wanted everyone¡¯s eyes on me, I wanted to make myself seen. I saw Valentin. He stood up, I saw his eyes widening.


    ¡°He looks even uglier than I remember.¡± I thought. Caruncle shrieked, he saw himself in his brother, he remembered the corpse he saw at his funeral. I had to make an effort to keep myself still.


    He reached for Elena¡¯s hand and pressed a kiss on its back. The warmth of his breath lingered a moment too long. I kept my expression still and let my hand fall casually once he released it.


    "I believe we haven¡¯t had the opportunity to meet," he muttered.


    I nodded and tilted my head ever so slightly, letting my gaze sweep over him. Sebastian sat looking at the south while I sat looking west and Valentin sat looking east, he would be facing me, and Sebastian would have me in his field of view if I wanted to speak to him.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t met us, but we have heard of you quite a lot,¡± Sebastian started. He was dressed with black loafers, a green, dim suit, as well as an old dark tie. I had dressed him like Caruncle used to dress when he was alive, chauffeur style. I asked the maids to give him clothes that were one size too big for him to add to the effect of his awkwardness, I thought it was funny.


    ¡°And you might be?¡±


    ¡°Miss Elena is Custodio Esparza¡¯s daughter, I don¡¯t know if you have heard about him before?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I think I have heard the name before, but¡­¡±


    ¡°Custodio Esparza is part of the The Supernal Circle of Mountain Mystics. My name is Sebastian Lysias, I¡¯m part of the Circle as well.¡±


    ¡°The Circle of Mystics?¡± Valentin gave us a look of disgust as long as he heard the name, not that I could blame him.


    ¡°Yes, we are an organization that focuses on doing charitable works and looks into the personal enlightenment of its members.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°In any case, I am here to lend my services to Miss Elena, I am her spokesperson.¡±


    ¡°Her spokesperson?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Miss Elena here, if you haven¡¯t noticed, is mute. She cannot speak, but she wanted to talk to you, and that is why I am here.¡±


    Valentin stared back at me, detailing me as much as he could. I kept a slight smile still as he looked, but I wasn¡¯t sure what my eyes were telling him.


    ¡°That¡¯s why she didn¡¯t answer my greeting, I suppose.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that would be correct.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I apologize, I assumed beforehand you were in a bad mood.¡±


    I waved Elena¡¯s hand dismissively while keeping my smile, he nodded and looked back at Sebastian.


    ¡°And might I know why the lady wanted to meet me?¡±


    ¡°Well, I hope this isn¡¯t too upsetting, but we heard of you when one of your employees came looking for your brother at her home.¡±


    He averted his gaze, but I watched him closely. His legs were crossed, the sole of one foot still touching the floor. His hand, which had been resting on his right leg, suddenly tightened, gripping his knee with force.


    ¡°Right.¡± He paused for a moment and looked at the both of us. ¡°The matter of my brother was a bit of a tragedy, he ran away 10 years ago, but we couldn¡¯t find him. If we knew he had been that close to us this whole time maybe things would have turned out differently.¡± I clenched my teeth.


    ¡°Miss Elena here also wanted to offer to move his body in case you wanted to bury him somewhere else closer to you, so you could all see him.¡±


    Valentin looked at me back, I opened Elena¡¯s eyes more trying to appear compassionate, but I could feel tears at the back of my mind caused by the distasteful nature of the situation. I obviously didn¡¯t want to give him back Caruncle¡¯s body, it was absurd, but it was necessary to make the offer.


    ¡°Right, I have to think about that too. As you might guess, it¡¯s a bit of a difficult topic for the family.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± Sebastian continued. ¡°But in any case, when we heard about you we couldn¡¯t help but get curious, Miss Elena has been looking for people she can meet that can introduce her and show her the capital city.¡±


    ¡°The Circle of Mystics doesn¡¯t provide that kind of service?¡±


    ¡°Not really, no, we like to keep ourselves outside.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°Well, most of us prefer the countryside, that¡¯s all there is to it.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    I signaled to Sebastian, telling him to talk about what I knew of Valentin. It was the first time I had even made some sort of interaction in the conversation which made me sad.


    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°Miss Elena has heard of your work in the parliament and she finds your alignment with the liberal party to be quite valuable as well.¡±


    ¡°Okay, although if she has heard about me here, I would also guess she knows that as a member of the parliament I am quite a busy individual, with all due respect.¡±


    ¡°Of course, Miss Elena says she could also be a valuable asset if things align so, she could provide the budget for whatever you require.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± He frowned at Sebastian, but looking back at me, his looks was a puzzled one, rather than a judging one.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°And she¡¯s disposed to provide me with a budget¡­ for what reason?¡±


    ¡°For the dream of a more independent Luciana.¡± He smiled, I smiled back too, but I was just embarrassed.


    ¡°Ha, right.¡± Valentin chuckled. ¡°I used to have that kind of dream too, back then.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that what we should all strive for?¡±


    ¡°Listen, I think I appreciate the sentiment, you both. I really do.¡± Valentin looked at me, then at Sebastian. ¡°But I have learned that things are rarely so simple, and managing a country on our own terms is not an easy task either.¡±


    I hesitated, my hands feeling clumsy as I tried to sign to Sebastian. Independence? I pointed at Valentin, then tapped my fist over my heart¡ªgive up? It wasn¡¯t elegant, and I could feel the stiffness in my movements, but I had prepared the question for the conversation, and Sebastian glanced at me.


    ¡°Miss Elena asks if you still see Luciana becoming independent in the future.¡± That is something I wanted to know, I wanted to know what the hell had happened and why nobody followed through with the fight to push the Empire away, the original Caruncle couldn¡¯t be the only one with the balls to go with the plan.


    ¡°Oh, well, it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t see her becoming independent, but I think that the way we can take other options to handle the state affairs and¡­ well, make the country a more proper place for Basilian and Lucianan people alike.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ what paths?¡± I hesitated, then gave a slight nod, followed by the sign for what¡ªboth hands raised, palms up¡ªand then moved my hands forward, mimicking a path.


    ¡°I believe that a federal state can provide the tools for each city and place to create the proper tools for their citizens.¡±


    I tapped my temple and then pointed to Valentin¡ªWhat did he mean? I knew what a federal state was, but I wanted to keep him talking, I needed some time to think.


    Valentin leaned back in his chair. "You see," he began, "the idea of a federal state is to allow each city, each region, to govern itself, providing them with the tools to cater to their own unique needs. It grants a certain autonomy without the chaos of full secession. The citizens are empowered, but there remains a structure¡ªa safety net, if you will, to prevent disorder. It¡¯s a more measured, reasonable approach."


    He paused, casting a glance my way. ¡°Centralism, on the other hand, places all the power in one capital, in the hands of a few men¡ªdisconnected from the regions they control. It stifles growth, yes, but throws it off entirely through independence... Well, that¡¯s a much heavier burden than most realize. Federalism offers the chance for freedom in moderation, a compromise that maintains some order.¡±


    Valentin¡¯s tone softened then, and he turned to me, his eyes lingering for just a moment longer than usual. "Forgive me," he said with a small smile, "the pretty lady here probably finds this a bit tiresome." I averted my gaze, something happened that I didn¡¯t quite get,I could feel Caruncle react, I hoped they wouldn¡¯t notice the sudden rush of emotion that was welling up.


    Sebastian, sensing my shift, continued the conversation. ¡°Do you still see Luciana becoming independent in the future?¡±


    Valentin glanced between us, the smile fading slightly. "Well¡­ it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t see independence as a possibility," he replied slowly. "But I¡¯ve come to believe there are other paths to improve life here, without risking everything on the gamble of total autonomy. A federal system would allow us to keep the empire¡¯s resources and structure, while still gaining self-governance. It¡¯s a compromise¡ªone that, for now, seems more realistic."


    They kept talking and I lost the thread of the conversation. I realized¡­ tears were coming out of Elena¡¯s eyes, they were Caruncle¡¯s tears. He was so incredibly sad, but he felt a soothing, relaxing feeling covering him whole. Do you want to know why? We both know why, it¡¯s pretty redundant to mention it. He was crying because he realized his brother was finally seeing him for who he was, fine, for who she was. Valentin actually thought he was a woman! He saw Elena and took her appearance for granted! Now, Caruncle was nothing more than a pervert to me, a guy sick on the head with a loose screw, but that perception she had for herself, sometimes, it was so intense, so incredibly blinding that I just¡­ couldn¡¯t¡­ help¡­ but¡­ give in to her whims. That is why I have to write what he thinks most of the time, it is some sort of exorcism for me. But whatever, like anybody gives a fuck.


    ¡°Miss Elena? Miss Elena? Are you alright?¡± I came back to earth, I saw Sebastian had stood up and touched Elena in her shoulders, shoulders I could also feel. I had covered her face with her hands, ashamed of breaking down in front of Valentin.


    ¡°My apologies, was there something I said that upset you, ma¡¯am?¡±


    I looked upwards for an instant and I saw Sebastian was panicking, I signed to him the word headache and covered Elena¡¯s face again.


    ¡°No! Sir, actually, we must apologize. Miss Elena has been dealing with a lot of headaches lately and with the trip here to Vadorreal things got worse.¡±


    ¡°I see¡­ Please, let me ask the clerk to bring her a glass of water.¡±


    ¡°We would be thankful if you do.¡± Sebastian said, he got out his handkerchief and gave it to me to clean myself, it was embarrassing.


    Valentin stood up and left the salon, we heard him yelling a name a couple of times.


    ¡°Eulalia? Eulalia! For heaven¡¯s sake! I have been calling you for quite a while now!¡±


    We couldn¡¯t hear the clerk, only Valentin¡¯s voice was loud enough.


    ¡°Did you really? I need you here, I¡¯m in a meeting.¡±


    Silence.


    ¡°Nevermind all that, you can go after the meeting is over, now please bring me a glass of water.¡±


    He came back and sat back down on his seat. ¡°My apologies, some clerks aren¡¯t really reliable, but I asked to bring a glass of water for Miss Esparza right here, it should take only a while.¡±


    A few minutes afterwards the glass of water came but I couldn¡¯t see how really brought it because I was still looking down still trying to do damage control to what Caruncle had done, the issue of getting inside a body is that when you are in its control, every single sensation that is emanating from it controls you, the difficult breathing, the tears and the pain in your eyes, the dizziness in your head, being alive was actually very overwhelming at times.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I said with my signs, I think I had messed up that one, but Sebastian nodded. ¡°Miss Elena says thank you.¡± He looked back at Valentin, who was now deep in thought, smoking a cigar.


    ¡°Nevermind all that, would you prefer if we continue this conversation another time?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡±


    I nodded to him.


    ¡°Well yes, that¡¯s alright, would it be okay to you if Miss Elena writes to you in the following days, I know she wants to talk to you in her own words, once she has calmed down.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, that would be fine.¡± He stood up and reached into his inner coat pocket, retrieving a small, finely embossed card. With a subtle nod, he handed it to me. ¡°Here, Miss Esparza, should you wish to send a word¡ªmy address. I would be most eager to hear from you.¡±


    The card was a disgustingly delicate thing, cream-colored with his name and office address inscribed in needlessly elegant script.


    I stood up and nodded again, that¡¯s all I could do, nod. I did a slight bow, now more calmed down, and smiled at him.


    ¡°If you also are in need of a physician, you can let me know, I wouldn¡¯t like to see such a beautiful sight like you to look in such pain the next time we meet.¡±


    I nodded yet again, and we left, Sebastian holding me as I walked. When we got outside, it was raining, but the carriage was waiting for us so we got inside right away. We left toward our house in the city in silence.


    I brought my hand to my chest, forming it into a loose fist. With a gentle, circular motion over my heart, I signed "sorry."


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be, Miss! I mean, I know this is really important to you for a reason, we might have cut the conversation short but I think we actually made some good progress!¡±


    I sighed, nodding slowly.


    ¡°Now, I know that you don¡¯t like to talk about this kind of things, but if you want to talk about why you broke down there, maybe I can help, or maybe I can¡¯t help but at least I can hear you out, somehow, it also pains me so to see you like that and I feel so helpless when I don¡¯t know what to do. Was it really a headache?¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°Oh, well. I see¡­¡±


    I raised my hand, pointing backward with my thumb ¡°later,¡± then brought my hand to my chin and moved it outward ¡°talk¡±.


    ¡°We will talk about it later, okay, then.¡±


    I looked outside through the window, now letting go that things had been taken care of. I heard Caruncle think, he was shaken and still hadn¡¯t recovered, but at least he had stopped crying. He remembered one night back when he was 14, Valentin was playing around and he had wrapped Caruncle in one of their mother¡¯s old gowns. A frilly, pale pink thing with puffed sleeves so large they nearly swallowed his arms. The dress hung awkwardly, far too big, with layers of lace that dragged behind him like a train fit for royalty¡ªif only royalty looked this ridiculous. Valentin had even crowned the look with a floppy, oversized bonnet, complete with a cluster of drooping silk flowers.


    ¡°This is hilarious!¡± Valentin cackled, barely able to catch his breath. ¡°You really do look like a girl!¡±


    Caruncle didn¡¯t have the chance to look at himself in the mirror, but those words had made him incredibly happy that night, so happy that he couldn¡¯t contain himself. He thought that now his brother was now seeing him as a proper woman, a girl, a lady, it was as if he had abandoned reality and was now in a dream, just like that one night, that moment so many years ago. The difference was that, now, the dream was permanent. He had presented himself as a stranger, a woman, and there was no going back.


    He thought he didn¡¯t have the strength to see him ever again in his life, all this, my plan, the appearance he had to deceive his brother, it was wrong, it was all wrong. The only thing he ever wanted was to be seen as a woman by him, and that had already become true, was anything else really necessary? He was now ready to die happy, forever, and for all eternity.


    I thought, as always, that he was just a fool.

 22. On Planning

    That night, Caruncle had a dream. Felicity, Evelyn, Zuriel, Percival, all those noobs, were there. The sky was a deep, dusky purple, where gold hues still clung to the edges of a fading horizon. The air was thick with tension, and in the distance, the flurry of footsteps and the twang of bowstrings cut through the quiet foliage. Archers lined the hilltop, arrows at the ready, their eyes locked on a shadow that moved with swift, predatory grace across the plains.


    At the side of a pyramid did lie a griffin, six times bigger than any lion. The huge beak, the long wings in which the first primary was the longest, and the vigorous talons almost covered the archers'' whole field of view. Its wings curled inwards, the feathers gleaming with the golden light of the setting sun. The whole sight stunned me a bit, after thousands of books I had read, I still had never seen the drawing of a griffin in all that I could remember of my existence. It was a bit of a silly concept, but seeing it by myself was different. Where a falcon or an eagle would have the twelve feathers of its tail, the griffin grew the body and legs of a lioness. It had its beak lying on the breast feathers. It was terrifying.


    Valentin pushed through the ranks of archers, his heart racing. His breath came in short gasps. His eyes scanned the huge thing and saw a scar that crossed both of its eyes in a diagonal line. What did the scar mean or how it got it, I did not know, but when he saw it, his pulse quickened.


    "Hold your fire!" Valentin cried out. He pushed forward, standing between them and the creature, his voice more urgent. "Hold your fire! This isn¡¯t a common beast! This is Caruncle!"


    The griffin turned its amber gaze toward Valentin, its feathers ruffling in the wind, though its expression remained inscrutable. Valentin took a step forward. "Caruncle, please, can you understand me?" he asked softly, his voice trembling as the archers muttered behind him.


    The griffin stood still. Its face gave me the impression it was grinning at him. The archers shifted uneasily, their bows still raised but fingers hesitating on the strings. His family lowered down their bows but kept staring at the thing. For a moment, silence hung heavy in the air, and the archers remained poised, watching for any sign of movement.


    ¡°How could you let them do this to you?¡± He asked. I saw the Caruncle griffin looking at Valentin with what felt like a puzzled expression, I don¡¯t know, I don¡¯t know, it tilted its head somewhat and stared at him with some sort of smile.


    ¡°Do you understand what I am saying? Do you recognize me?¡±


    The griffin looked confused to me, it kept staring at Valentin with a slight amusement and bemusement.


    ¡°Why¡­ if I could just¡­If I had listened to you sooner¡­¡± Valentin fell on his knees and started to cry, I looked at the griffin which was now looking at him with pity. How I was noticing this I don¡¯t know, it was something in his brow, or maybe it was just my distorted perception of things. The griffin put his left wing and patted Valentin slightly on its back, since it was so big that it still made him fall, so at the end it stopped moving it and left it resting on him.


    ¡°Caruncle¡­ oh, Caruncle¡­¡± Valentin hugged part of its wing and held it with his two arms as he cried his heart out.


    They stayed like that for a while. After he had calmed down a bit, he looked into his crossbody bag and got a dress out of it. It was a silk dress that looked a bit like the one the maids gave Caruncle to try on the other day.


    ¡°Look, Caruncle¡­ it¡¯s your dress, the one you wanted,¡± Valentin said, smiling at the griffin, even as tears streamed down his face.


    The griffin gave a soft smile and gently took the dress with its other wing, carefully tucking it away beneath its feathers as if to keep it safe. Then, it attempted to pat Valentin again, but realizing it was hurting him, it stopped and let its wing rest, allowing him to hug it instead. The griffin appeared somewhat sad, but remained calm and serene. I could hear it thinking, Caruncle was happy to have his brother around him.


    ¡°Caruncle¡­ thank you, Caruncle¡­.¡±


    I was starting to hear the crickets of the night, while everyone stood still, I played around in a puddle of rainbow colored water.


    ***


    When I woke up I felt I had lost something important. What was I even doing? This dumb plan of getting close to Caruncle¡¯s family, what on earth was I thinking? I was incredibly ashamed, I got out of the body and decided to not interfere further. I was done.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    Caruncle was listening to Sebastian talk with one of his maids when a letter arrived.


    ¡°Did I ever tell you how I got into the circle?¡± Sebastian handed Caruncle a letter from Valentin, he turned around and opened it slowly. ¡°It was when I fell in love with a girl that was into dark magic and sorcery. Back then, I thought she was sent by demons to destroy me, but¡­ hey? Are you listening? Hey!¡±


    Caruncle finally opened the letter, it read as follows.


    ¡°I know that you believe deeply for the freedom of each man. This is something I have discussed a lot with my party, but yes, as I have said, the compensation would be made for the owners, not for previous slaves. These people have been investing in their own business and therefore we would have to compensate them for the loss of their property. Please understand, the idea of persecuting owners in what has been a well established business for a long time is unfeasible. If you want to see a change, it needs to be at its own peace. If you finally decide to support our party economically and follow through with this proposal, you can always write to me back.¡±


    It was a lot of bullshit.


    Caruncle felt like about to cry, he would get like a little child when things didn¡¯t get his way. After calming down for an hour or two while looking at the park, he decided to write a new letter, this time, to Custodio.


    ¡°You said that I could count with you as a family, if that is the case, I will count with you, however, I will need to put you through my own test as well. I need you to bring Mr. Lopez to your home. Write him a letter and have it ready for once I go back. I will also need an axe ready. I have heard that he always has a guard at his side. Make sure he goes to your home too, I do not know how careful this man is with his possessions or communications, tell him that he is in danger and to bring the letter with you. If he leaves a copy or not in his home, that is a risk you and I will have to take. I am done with this and I want to get it solved as fast as possible. If you can do what I am asking, then I know I can trust in you.¡±


    He sighed and after finishing the first draft, he wrote the letter over and over again. He was trying to avoid having the tears fall into his face, he was crying again.


    After a while he stood up and went to the balcony where Sebastian was still talking with one of the servants.


    ¡°...and I told her what I felt, that I thought she was a demon sent to destroy me at first, I was afraid, I was angry at her, I had tried to do an exorcism on her, so she could become clean, so I could become clean again, I felt that by falling love at her I had lost everything, my soul, my being, but it was because of my attempt to find the truth in her facade that I realized that my religion was a lie, that my world was a lie, and I wanted to thank her for that.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s crazy.¡±


    ¡°I know the people in the circle spend too much time doing nothing, of course I know that those spells we have found are the best we will ever get, but¡­ I still appreciate those people, that is why I will always stay in the circle.¡±


    Caruncle tapped him in the shoulder, when Sebastian looked at him, he motioned him to go to the studio, Sebastian stood up and followed him.


    ¡°I need to tell you something, it is time.¡± He wrote in a notebook and gave it to him. Sebastian read it a couple of times and looked back at him.


    ¡°Are you sure about this?¡±


    Caruncle nodded.


    ¡°Sigh, I thought you were going to reconsider.¡±


    ¡°I did.¡±


    ¡°And you are still angry.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m still angry.¡±


    ¡°This is fucking stupid, I hope that you are aware of that.¡±


    ¡°I am.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Sebastian looked in a drawer and took out a notebook. ¡°I have already asked someone to go to Lopez¡¯s place. Contrary to what you described to me, it is not located on any street, it is in the countryside just like this or Esparza¡¯s home. It looks very small from the outside, but inside it is like a maze. I know you would prefer to make him go to Esparza¡¯s house so nobody can see us going to his property, but once that man leaves, the people he keeps there will starve, what are you going to do about them? I think that we should go anyway and free them, we don¡¯t have to stay, just make sure they can get out on their own.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I want to leave any witnesses.¡±


    ¡°So you just want to leave them there, to slowly die.¡±


    ¡°We could speed up that process.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m serious.¡±


    Sebastian scoffed at her, he looked through the window into the countryside, he seemed lost.


    ¡°Okay, let me go, by myself, I can free them, and if anything happens, I will carry with the risk.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I can let you do that.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°It would still be a risk, you are connected to me, after all.¡±


    ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake!¡±


    Sebastian stood up and started walking in circles around the room, I saw him slowly trying to breathe in and out.


    ¡°One murder is one thing, two might be another, but¡­ how many people are going to end up dead? I don''t think I can do this.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to, this is all on me.¡± Caruncle had written this out on a piece of paper, but this time Sebastian didn¡¯t read it.


    ¡°You know what, it¡¯s not that complicated. I can go the day after Lopez is dead, with enough luck, most people will still be alive, and I can free them out. My story will be that I just went to buy someone and I found the place empty.¡±


    He looked at Caruncle, who was frowning at him.


    ¡°You must let me do this, yes, there is a risk, but it''s a lower one, besides, if you don¡¯t let me do it, I think I will lose my mind.¡±


    Caruncle sighed and looked down at Elena¡¯s knees. He extended her palms and stared at them for a while.


    ¡°Have you talked about this with Mr. Esparza?¡±


    Caruncle pointed at the letter he had written on the desk.


    ¡°Do you trust him?¡±


    ¡°If he does this for me, I can trust him.¡±


    ¡°What about the marriage matter? How are you feeling about all that?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter anymore, as long as he does this for me.¡±


    ¡°Alright, suit yourself. I¡¯m gonna take a drink¡­¡±