《Leprechaun》 Our little brand of crazy 1 "Weigh the anchor!" A tall man shouted over the noise of the storm, his crew scrambled to obey, tripping and stumbling as the ship threw itself back and forth with the waves in front of the Shrieking Falls, where a beast with an overly muscular upper body and a head like a deer''s skull roared as lightning flashed behind it. It reached into the water it stood in, pulled a boulder out and threw the boulder. Directly at the captain''s head. The man suddenly screamed as he jolted out of bed in a cold sweat. He sat there panting. "Damnit. Get it together, Kaun..." the elf rolled out of bed and sat on the edge of the bed. Pinching the bridge of his nose. His face was what many would call handsome, with a slightly chiseled jaw and sharp, slightly slanted eyes, giving him a perpetually fierce expression. His hair, beard and sharp, thin moustache were a pale golden colour, and his eyes were bright green, but his most prominent feature was his sharp ears that proved his existence as that of an elf. His body was tall and slightly muscular, but wasn''t bulky or thin, more average than anything. As Kaun sat there, contemplating his nightmare. His first and currently only mate, Yukona the elf, charged into his room. "What''s happened, Captain?" She shouted as she held a small anchor over her head as a weapon. Her light blue hair whipped about in curls as she looked around angrily for intruders. Yukona was an elf type from the north continent of Arcta, so her body was designed to retain heat, her stocky frame gave her a bit of extra chub across her whole body, but in the chest and rear, she exceeded almost any other woman one could find her with. This also meant she overheated easily and so wore as little clothing as possible, currently she was wearing literally nothing besides a dark green bottom. "Nothing''s happened, Yukona. Though the better question is, where''s the ship? I''ve slept a while I presume." He looked out the window and found that they''d docked. The people of the port city were walking about and doing their jobs. "We''ve landed at the good old city of Wave, Captain, we''ve been here a lot. Though you''re sure you''re okay? That scream sounded pretty bad." Yukona lowered the anchor to her side but made a few skeptical glances at her superior. "Aye, I''m fine, let''s go out and find some food. I''m starving." While Elves were more resistant to hunger than Humans, it still bothered them. Yukona then pulled captain Kaun to his feet and proceeded to follow him off the small ship and onto the dock. The streets weren''t crowded or abandoned, a few groups of people talked here and there but for the most part, men and women walked around to buy things. Suddenly, a scream erupted from down the street. "Kyaa! Pervert! Get him!" A woman cried as a man clad in dark gray, most likely a Beastkin judging by the cat-like, tucked-back ears visible under his mask. The Beastkin man also held something in his left hand that upon closer inspection, was a bra most likely stolen from the screaming woman down the street.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. He then ran smack-dab into a distracted Yukona who, already disgruntled from the heat of the day, angrily glared at the Beastkin who''d been knocked onto the ground. He was shaking his head to clear it, and opened his eyes to come face-to-face with an extremely buxom Elf who''s cold, angry glare sent chills down the Beastkin''s spine, though from fear or arousal, he wasn''t sure. "Yukona!" Kaun called from a nearby noodle stand. "Look, look! They got rainbow ramen here with all the flavours!" Yukona sighed at how childish Kaun could be at times and went over to see him and count their coins. Meanwhile, the Beastkin from before was running off in shock at how his heart had been stolen by a single woman, and an Elf no less! Elves and Beastkin were like polar opposites of each other, Elves were more straight-minded and restrained while Beastkin were more emotional and instinct-driven, that difference put a wedge in almost every Elf-Beastkin relationship. However, he''d never considered that Elves could be so ... attractive. Not to mention free of clothing, he always saw women as naked in his minds eye, and stole their underwear so everyone else would too, but now that he thought about it. That woman was actually naked ... POLE! The Beastkin man had run headfirst into a lamppost on a dock where a small wooden ship was tied. It was hardly six metres long and the mast was hardly as tall as the majority of buildings in the city of Wave. "Uuuh ..." the man groaned and held onto consciousness just long enough to stagger onto the ship and fall down belowdecks, directly onto a pile of rope behind a pack of barrels, each half-full of bronze coins. He then promptly passed out. "Ah! That was great! Right, Yukona?" Kaun slammed his bowl on the noodle stall counter with extra vigor as he smiled contentedly. Yukona however could only take her captain''s word for it since her kind of Elf had little to no sense of taste. "Mmhmm... Great!" She smiled as the golden-haired Elf paid for the meal and got up to go buy some more things. Yukona felt good when Kaun was too, but she couldn''t place why. Nor could she pin down why she felt better just being around her captain in the first place. "Hey, Lady." A young boy had stopped to look at Yukona. "Hmm? Yeah?" She looked down at the boy from her seat in front of the noodle stand. "Are you a Medusa?" The boy''s question took Yukona by surprise, she''d never been called a monster like a Medusa before. "Heheh, no. Why''d you ask?" Yukona replied awkwardly. "''Cause Mommy tells me to look away when you''re here." Yukona just put an elbow on her knee and her head in her hand as she sighed in disappointment as she looked out onto the sea. Kaun was dancing with some people on the beach under the midday sun. He didn''t talk about his past much, or at all, but it certainly seemed better than Yukona''s. "Oi, Yukona!" Kaun called from the beach as he walked to the dock. "Let''s get going! I already bought our supplies!" He motioned to the four barrels he was now carrying over his shoulders. "Coming, Captain!" Yukona patted the little boy from before on the head as she left with Kaun for their little ship on the dock. In the market, a footstep sounded as a short figure in a blue cloak watched the Elves carry barrels to their ship. The figure pulled a green bead from their pocket using something like a dark purple, slightly transparent hand and whispered into it. "Jampoint two-thousand-five-hundred-sixty-seven to Jamba. I found one." Our little brand of crazy 2 Kaun the Elf was currently holding a barrel under each arm as he walked back to his ship, one full of rice and the other of dried meat from a kind of aquatic, pig-like monster called a Swillfish. Directly behind him, Yukona, a buxom Elf who was naked save her dark green bottom, was dragging one barrel along as she balanced the other on her head. The two finally made it through the slightly crowded streets, where everyone looked at Yukona for one reason or another, and got to the dock where their small ship was tied. "This is all you bought?" Yukona asked slightly worried for their expenses. "Don''t worry, I''ll buy more if ya think we do." Kaun flashed his million-Hun smile at Yukona and her worries left her. Though only for a moment as she remembered how dismal their living expenses were at the moment. "We ... uh ... we''re fine." Yukona politely refused Kaun''s shopping offer and started taking the barrels of food belowdecks. He sighed and smiled as he untied the ship to set sail. Then he went up to the captain''s wheel just above his quarters on deck and started sailing away. "Hey! You didn''t pay for that!" Kaun snickered as he steered the ship away from the place where he''d tricked some sap to pay for Kaun''s meal, while not paying for his own meal. "Gaaah!!" "Gaaah!!" *Ksssh* A pair of screams suddenly came from belowdecks, accompanied by the crashing of coins on a wood floor and each other. Kaun sighed in disgruntlement, locked the ship''s rudder, jumped down to the deck and again to belowdecks, where Kaun found one of the most amusing things he''d seen all day. A Beastkin man in dark clothing was haphazardly tied up and covered in gold coins while Yukona was taking a breather and leaning on a barrel. "What''s all this then?" Kaun gestured to the messily tied up Beastkin and to Yukona. "I didn''t know ya did these kinds of things." "It''s not like that! I''m no sadist!" Yukona placed her hands on her rather large hips and looked offended. "This guy just popped up out of nowhere and spooked me! So I naturally tied him up to see you."A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. "Naturally?!" The Beastkin man looked even more scared now than before. "What is wrong with you?!" "I''m the one asking the questions!" Yukona angrily glared at the man and kicked some coins at him. Yukona suddenly lost her anger and picked up a handful of coins from the floor. "Kaaauuunnn..." "No?" Yukona''s captain was halfway up the ladder and attempting to smile innocently as he turned to look at his first mate. Only to receive a bunch of thrown coins to the face. "We''ve been living on scraps for ten weeks now! Yet you''ve been hogging all the cash down here for whatever you''re planning, and knowing you, it''s not gonna be a good idea!" Yukona screamed as she threw dozens of fistfuls of coins at her frantically retreating captain. Kaun cackled like a madman as he gleefully danced around the ships deck as Yukona pursued him with each hand full of gold coins. This went on for about an hour before Yukona overheated, despite her lack of clothing, and had to sit down by the mast. Kaun took the opportunity to go back down belowdecks to check on their new prisoner. "So..." Kaun walked over to the masked Beastkin and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. "Who are ya? How''d ya get on me ship?" "I''m not telling! Ma told me to never talk to strangers!" The man snarkily replied. "Then what''re ya doing now?" Kaun frowned at the contradictory statement. The Beastkin''s eyes suddenly widened a bit in realization and he tried to look away. Though the Elfin captain moved to stay in the Beastkin''s field of vision. "No point withholding info from me. I could just leave you here to rot." Kaun wasn''t bluffing, he''d done worse before. "Fine! My name''s Puma. Feral-cat type Beastkin. I hit my head while I was running and stumbled onto this ship, I didn''t know it was yours though." Puma looked down in a defeated way. "Why "ours"? What makes our ship different from any other?" "Cuz'' SHE''s here..." "Yukona?" "That''s her name? It''s beautiful, and her gaze! So cold and perfect!" "Sounds like ya got the hots for her in that maso'' sort o'' way!" Kaun chuckled as he leaned Puma against a barrel "What? No! ... Maybe?" I just don''t know..." Puma slumped and started smacking his face into the barrel he was leaning on. "Stop now, you''ll hurt yahself! Unless you actually LIKE that sorta thing." "Look," Puma stopped banging his head and laid down in the pile of gold coins around him. "I''m going through a tough time. Finding out what I like and don''t like, what I do better or not! I''m just confused..." Kaun sighed since he never had to worry about these kinds of things while he grew up. "I''ll tell ya what, I''m gonna "turn a blind eye" on ya for a bit and if you wanna go back to Wave, I won''t stop ya." "Huh?" Puma was surprised at how easy he could be getting off the hook, and even more surprised when Kaun took a saber from its sheath on his belt and cut the ropes tying Puma up. "I''m going to have a nap, feel free to sail back if ya want to." And with that, Kaun went upstairs to his room for a sleep. However, hovering high above the ship, a dark purple shape flew through the air, leaving a trail of black particles in the clouds.