《Yumekui Orphanage》 Chapter 1: Death and Lolis ¡°I want to die¡± This is something that comes across the minds of a lot of people. It is quite morbid to be honest. The wish of ending one¡¯s life is quite taboo on it¡¯s own. But wishing for your own death is something else entirely. Be it depression or just whining about the inconveniences in life, such dark thought often comes to the minds of most people. But I have never come across such thoughts. And yet here I am stuck in a hospital bed after getting run over by a car that lost control. I have never wished for death to come yet here he is smiling at me as if screaming to me in his head ¡°I¡¯M HOME!¡± like a giddy japanese school girl. Oh how unlucky. But I guess I should tell you the whole story behind this incident. And how I was unwillingly put into an fake ¡°isekai¡± situation that weeaboos would probably drool over. The story I have in my opinion, is a very bland one. One filled with more cliches than a primetime telenovela. It¡¯s a horrid joke. Your life would probably be better not knowing it, yet I am urged to tell it. Why? No particular reason really. Though my story is not the best, I would like to leave some sort of record of what I have experienced. That is the least I can do, after all the universe might soon experience it¡¯s inevitable heat death, so I can at least leave something for the anti-spiral to remember me by. Speaking of myself, I haven¡¯t introduced myself yet. My name is Fuwa Tomo. Despite how it sounds, I am not Japanese. I asked my parents why I have such an ethnically confusing name and they say that the Japanese nurse that took care of my Mother and me called me a ¡°fluffy friend¡± from how I looked. Sure my hair looks like it¡¯s a fluffy animal stuck to my head now that i¡¯m 16 years of age, but how did the nurse know this? And why decide my name from such an uninspired feature? Why do some people still think the earth is flat? We may never know. Aside from my overly-fluffed hair, I have no other unique features. I¡¯m the perfect example of a garden-variety girl of my age. Although I may seem a bit tomboyish at times, I''m still a young maiden by heart. But that¡¯s enough about myself, I¡¯m here to tell you about my story. To put it simply, I met a god. A deity of unknown power and origin. An entity that surpasses all human logic. Meeting a god. Does one consider such event lucky? To meet something of unimaginable power. The chance of having your wishes granted. I¡¯ve never been a lucky person. I always lost at rock paper scissors, and i have never won anything luck related. So my take on it is that meeting god, is unlucky. Considering the fact that my reason for meeting this god was a random slice of fatty tuna that flew out of nowhere, hitting me directly on the face with the strength of seven young boys, causing me to fall off balance into speeding traffic. Now that I think about it, that piece of tuna was beautiful. It was glistening, and perfectly cut. The kind you would pay good money for. Was it god¡¯s tuna? To say that I, a regular girl was hit by god¡¯s tuna then got hit by a white toyota doing tofu deliveries is something out of an anime. What a weird anime.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Let¡¯s talk about this god I met. How does one perceive god? A bright light, a faceless being, a loli with a silly hat. There have been many representations from various media. But this particular god is quite surprising. I meant it as a joke but I never saw it coming. And it¡¯s downright silly now that i think about it. There I stood, in a black void in front of me is a little girl with a silly hat. ¡°Oh, it seems I made a mistake¡± the little girl says in the most monotone and uninterested manner I have ever heard. I just got hit by an ae86 sprinter trueno, please show more concern. ¡°Hello there, I am the god of this place¡± said the little girl. ¡°Unbelievable as it may seem, you just died a moment ago¡±. Well of course i¡¯m dead, I got hit by a freaking trueno. Anyways what¡¯s with her get-up? She¡¯s wearing a dress fluffier than even my hair and she has horns curling up her head. Is she really a god or the devil? Anyways she looks more like a sheep. ¡°But do not worry, it is not your time to go yet. So we will give you give you a second chance. Well it was our fault in the first place though¡±. Hey wait, isn¡¯t this exactly like the situation in isekai fantasies? Am I going to be a hero in a fantasy world? Will I be super OP and stuff? Those are the thoughts going through my mind right now. My very own fantasy adventure! How exciting! I held my breath, then I asked the little girl in a sheep outfit in front of me, ¡°Will I get transported to a fantasy world where i gain tremendous powers and fame?¡± The little girl looked surprised. Did I get it right? ¡°Sadly no, you will not be transported to another world or any of that other stuff. We will however make it so that you will live, although you¡¯ll be in a coma for a few months¡±. Disappointment. Utter disappointment. My disappointment is immesurrable and my day is ruined. Not only was I unjustly killed by the tag team of a godly piece of fish and a speeding car, but I was also denied the chance to experience the overused yet tempting cliche of an isekai story. ¡°Though it was my fault it the first place, so I guess I¡¯ll give you a little perk, just between the two of us¡±. Hey hey, is this sheep loli really a god? I¡¯m really beginning to doubt it. Though my doubts were completely and utterly blown away in a single blow. One fluid, swift, deadly yet artistic blow. The little sheep girl summoned in her hand, one long staff with a hooked blade at the end. A large scythe that screamed death. I stood there motionless, unable to react as the little girl brought the blade to my neck. There at that moment, all the events that transpired seemed to make sense, even for just a mome- NOT! ¡°I want to die¡± It¡¯s something I always hear the ¡°depressed¡± people on the internet say. I have never wished for death, yet here I am. Face to face with the loli god of death. I was just gonna buy some cup noodles... How did I even get here? If I ever survive this, I¡¯m just gonna order take out. But I dont think I will. Might as well savor my last few moments as the sheep loli¡¯s blade finally decapita-.... Chapter 2: The God of Dreams and Exposition
¡°I just died¡± Or so I thought... Well I guess I should explain what happened. The sheep god loli, sliced my head off with an inexplicably large scythe. With one swoop, my head rolled off my shoulders without me even noticing it. Or it should have, if the consequences of my current situation were normal. Then again, it wasn¡¯t normal to begin with. So as I stood there dumbfounded by what just happened, the little girl that just nonchalantly tried to behead me began to explain. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re fine. As I¡¯ve told you before it¡¯s not your time to die yet. I just popped a little bubble in your head, it¡¯s nothing to worry about. You¡¯ll let me off with just this right?¡± What the hell is she talking about, this girl. Is she really that stupid? Insane? Did she try to apologize for accidentally killing me by fake killing me? Is that what she meant by popping a bubble in my head? Does she want me to get used to the sensation of dying? Stop it little girl. You are cute and all with that sheep outfit but you are not getting away with this one. ¡°What the hell did you just do to me?! That really got me!¡± ¡°Oh give me a break, it didn¡¯t really hurt now did it? Besides you should be thankful, I don¡¯t do this for everyone you know? This gift l gave you is really quite special after all.¡± Yep. She¡¯s still acting like that. Thankful? I have nothing to be thankful for. Also gift? What gift? I thought I was denied the story of an OP protagonist so what is this? ¡°Wait what gift are you talking about? Seriously what the hell did you just do to me back there?¡± ¡°Aaaaah, you don¡¯t know? This is why humans are so hard to deal with. But I can¡¯t do anything about it even though I¡¯m a god, all I can do is give exposition.¡± Well sorry for being a normal person miss i¡¯m-a-loli-god-that-suddenly-beheads-people. ¡°Well I guess I should explain, but I¡¯m only going to do so once so listen up! I didn¡¯t really want to say my name to humans but for the sake of the readers I have to. My name is Flaafia, and I am the god that overrules the Dream Dimension.¡± Wait,wait,wait... Dream Dimension? So she was the god of dreams? Not death? Well that explains the sheep theme but why the scythe? And why am I meeting the god of dreams during my death transition? Also please, this is just the second chapter don¡¯t break the fourth wall too soon. ¡°Judging by your expression, I can tell that you want to know why you are meeting the god of dreams instead of the god of death. Well there had been anomalies related to the Dream Dimension about lose dreams escaping into reality. Though it¡¯s just small things that normally can be left alone unnoticed. Yours though was a special case, since the anomaly caused your untimely death. That flying piece of fatty tuna that came out of nowhere was one of those anomalies.¡± ¡°So that godly piece of flying fatty tuna was not from the gods but from a dream?¡± ¡°Yes that is correct. And so since it was kind of my fault, I stoleborrowed your soul away from death for a bit. Ain¡¯t I great? I also stoleborrowed his scythe that can kill anything.¡± What exactly is she planning? She¡¯s obviously crazy so I doubt her having a scythe that can kill anything is a good Idea. But wait a minute... She cut me with that thing didn¡¯t she? Well I guess I¡¯m currently dead so it doesn¡¯t have an effect.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°And by anything, I mean it can kill anything. You asked earlier what I meant by popping a little bubble in your head right? Let me tell explain that now.¡± Oooh, please do tell Miss Exposition. ¡°The Dream Dimension, the realm I rule over is like what it sounds, a world made up of dreams. And not just the dreams of Humans, but the dreams of everything. As you would have guessed by now, there are many different worlds apart from this one. And each one of those worlds, have their own residents. Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Angels, Beastfolk, Demons, Beings made of machinery, Beings made of pure energy, even gods. Anything that can be considered sentient has their own dreams that make up the Dream Dimension¡± ¡°A world made up of the dreams of everything... It¡¯s something too complex for a normal girl like me to even try understanding, but what does this mean for me?¡± ¡°Your dreams are basically part of the Dream Dimension. And so are the dreams of the different sentient beings in the different worlds. That means beings from different worlds can be connected to each other through their dreams. a simple human like yourself, can enter the mind of a sleeping god and see what god sees. Well, if it wasn¡¯t for the barrier of cognition of course¡± Barrier of cognition? Another weird term. Now that I think about it isn¡¯t she just a chuunibyou? Well that doesn¡¯t matter, let¡¯s not stray away from the topic. ¡°I still do not understand, my dreams are connected to different beings basically but what is this barrier?¡± ¡°The barrier of cognition, is that little bubble I popped earlier. It¡¯s the thing keeping all beings from exploring what is outside of their own cognition. It¡¯s what locks you up inside your own mind. Without it, you can explore other people¡¯s minds, and travel other worlds through your dreams.I used death¡¯s scythe to kill the barrier within you, that scythe can kill anything after all. You can only do it while sleeping though, so you wont be able to physically transfer yourself to other worlds. Just your mind will explore.¡± ¡°Okay, I think I get it now from all that expositionthanks to your explanation. But I still don¡¯t get one thing, why give me this power? It sounds like something too much for someone like me to handle. I¡¯m just a normal girl, I¡¯m not even a shut-in otaku self-insert protagonist. And what will I even do with this ability?¡± ¡°Well, that is simple. Remember how I told you we will make it so that you will be alive though you will be in a coma? You¡¯re gonna be out for a bit so I thought I¡¯d give you a way to spend your time. You can use the mind reading to understand the people around you even if you are in a coma, and you can also visit other worlds if you are bored! You can even visit me in the Dream Dimension!¡± I cannot believe it. This little girl. She stole my soul and a scythe that can kill anything from death and gave me abilities that break the laws of existence... SO I WON¡¯T BE BORED? It¡¯s not like I¡¯m not touched or anything, it¡¯s probably the nicest thing anyone has done for me. But seriously? I knew she was out of it but this is just too much! Screw going the isekai route, this is another level! ¡°So human, do you understand now?¡± Yes, I completely understand how completely crazy you are. ¡°Well if you don¡¯t have anymore questions, I will now set you off. Your body is now being taken care of at a hospital. Oh and don¡¯t abuse your power okay? I¡¯ll kill you on the spot if you do.¡± And with that warning, the little girl left with a bluish flash of light, leaving balls of wool all around as the light faded. And that is the end of my encounter with the sheep loli god of dreams. Like what she promised, I am alive but now in a coma. And I quickly found out about my mind reading abilities when I began to see my own body get operated on. Apparently I entered the mind of one of the surgeons. I quickly booked it out because not only was seeing my own mangled body get cut up and stitched, but the vast amounts of medical information in the surgeon¡¯s head made my head hurt. I guess going to a god¡¯s mind is a bad idea if I can¡¯t even handle a surgeon¡¯s mind. Though traveling the Dream Dimension was a bit hard to comprehend. It wasn¡¯t until I woke up from my coma after six months that I was able to do it. And when I did enter the Dream Dimension, what I saw amazed me. It wasn¡¯t the weird scenery that looked like a mashed up mix of different eras and and terrain that amazed me, nor was it the various unknown creatures floating about... It was Flaafia, the sheep loli god of dreams with an expression that looked like a mix of crying, pouting and happy sitting there. Apparently waiting for me all this time to come so she can greet me. Maybe I was too hard on her before. She may be crazy, but isn¡¯t she just a lonely little girl? Though thankfully, she didn¡¯t decide to cut me with a scythe like last time.