《Pleonexia》 I kill, therefore I am Was the urge to murder justified? Was it not just a deviation from the slaughter of animals? Why was it condemned as immoral from the eyes of society, but could be argued in court? Did morals not apply under special circumstances? Would it not mean that murder in fact was justified, but simply depended on the circumstances? So, was the corpse before me justified as well? I didn''t mean to kill him, circumstances led to this encounter, others would call it possession by a demon¡ªby something evil, but I call it the human mind. His neck twisted around with the face pointing to the back, wrangled like a nail''s body turning in on itself spiraling up towards the head. The body had to disappear, but I hated the process of ridding the corpse. It felt a little too bothersome and too time consuming for a simple Sunday night, especially since the time had already hit 10 pm¡ªafter all I had to wake up for work tomorrow. I swiftly lifted the body up onto my shoulder and carried him towards the woods. The northville woods were famous for allegedly harboring monsters¡ªcreatures that could subdue any beast, entities which feast upon women and children, but only toyed on men. Was I afraid of meeting such a foe? No, I was not, because true monsters resided in apartment complexes, drove in luxurious cars and got coffee in the morning. As I wandered deeper into the cold impenetrable woods, the trees seemed to close in like one massive entity the further I went and the further I went, the heavier the weight was on my shoulder additionally the bloody scent was increasingly covered, with the smell of rotten wood. Shadows seemed to dart around the forest, with curious glances penetrating my body, until there was a small spot, enough to be ignored, but big enough to be hidden in, a place where all the shadows gathered in the distance. I dropped the body against a tree which rustled in protest, I started to dig beneath the soft forest ground, the insects which nested in all the dead leaves crawled between my fingers¡ªsquirming against the unknown warm sensation, as if they licked the dead off my hands. The remaining light had now completely abandoned the forest, the grave was now finished¡ªone last time, I lifted the corpse up onto my shoulder and discarded it, into the makeshift grave, with a loud thud noise the corpse fell face first¡ªor at least where the face would''ve normally been located at. The dirt was swiftly plunged into the hole with a few hard pushes, the leaves that I had removed earlier, were now hiding a secret of the forest, guarding the body against the undeniable truth. The forest was now my eternal accomplice. I slowly walked the way back towards the uncared street which was now completely drenched in darkness. The forest gave occasional rustling sounds, which seemed like screams and pleas of help¡ªscreams that called out to something¡ªsomeone, yet no one could hear them no matter how bitterly someone screamed. The only thing that remained were the bloodstains tainting the cold wet street, but on a road next to a forest, it would be of no surprise if it was the blood of some animal¡ªa deer, a bunny or perhaps a fox? Who cared what it was? I stepped into the heated car of mine and turned the key, leading myself out of this area, which was cursed with solitude. After a short drive, I had finally returned home and entered the security code of my house ''4444'', but before I entered, I looked for the single strand of hair which I had stuck between the door and the doorframe before I left, it was still there to my disappointment. I flipped the light switch on and everything was the same, everything was untouched, I had burned for some rivalry¡ªfor some true excitement, but alas I was left with disappointment. I took off my leather shoes and placed them into the only empty spot of my shoe rack, with all my other shoes which only slightly deviated in color. It was already late, as I prepared for bed, I first took a hot shower to remove all the blood and dirt which had collected on myself, afterwards I brushed my teeth and continued with my skincare products¡ªI care for appearance, a presentable appearance is of utmost importance. I trailed down my gray hallway, which carried different crimson paintings on white canvases¡ªsome with velvet splashes, some with bold crimson brushstrokes and some even were a combination of both, the paintings calmed me. I entered the bedroom down the hall where my bed was made in the morning. As I entered my bedsheets, I set an alarm clock for 7 am, enough time to get ready, buy breakfast and drive to arrive at work at precisely 9 am. The alarm clock disturbed my slumber, I once again washed myself and dressed myself in a fitting navy blue suit with a white shirt and my leather shoes. I stepped into my car and drove away from my private property and towards the bustling city, high rise buildings towered at every corner no matter where you turned and sandwiched between them were small shops, which barely kept themselves afloat. As I entered the coffee shop, my senses were immediately filled with the smell of coffee beans and yelling of orders across the store. My sight was greeted with a bright purple colored individual standing at the counter. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. "Good morning, Ms. Sara." She greeted me with a smile. "Oh! Mr. Hilderic, the usual again?" "Yes please, I have noticed you finally got your hair dyed?" "Yes, I did! You have a great eye for colors. Here the sandwich is on the house!" "I won''t decline your present then, thank you." I thanked the young barista and waited next to the counter for my order. "An americano for Hilderic?" the barista yelled across the busy store. "Thank you." I politely nodded. I glanced onto the warm plastic cup, they had completely butchered my name, instead of Hilderic it was written as ''Heldrick''¡ªI must admit, it was quite amusing to witness a different spelling each day, so I have not corrected them once. I made my way into my car and drove towards the largest building of the city¡ªMicsoft, a company which specialized in different programs for other companies to use, it had thousands of workers, beside Micsoft there were multiple companies which shared in the same building, but all were sister companies unbeknownst to many. Who knew that the richest brands were shared by mostly the same people? I bypassed the glass door and halted at the front, where I scanned my identification badge near the entrance, where two guards stood at each security terminal. The building had a high security system, ever since some people tried to steal company secrets. After the security check, I entered the only empty elevator, until a scream halted my movement. "Hold the elevator, please!" A female voice rang out. "Oh my¡ª Good morning, Mr. Chamber! Once again, as punctual as ever!" She smiled delightfully. "Good morning to you as well, Ms. Lee. " I smiled while I pressed the button to our floor. "Oh please mr. Chamber, there is no need for formalities! After all, I''m younger than you, please call me Annabel." "Then I must insist that you call me Hilderic as well." I chuckled slightly, Ms. Lee was a young fiery spirited individual who worked overtime regularly, it wore her off especially when no one validated her. "Oh, but I can''t! Hm, it seems like it will forever remain Ms. Annabel and Mr. Chamber then?" She cocked her head to the side in a childlike manner. "It seems that way, Ms. Lee. " "It sure does, Mr. Chamber." We shared a small laugh until we reached our floor, where we bid each other farewell and walked towards our respective team stations, she was in analysis, while I was in communication. Her desk was already filled with dozens of paperstacks and before she could even sit down, her manager walked up to her desk scolding her. "Good morning, Mr. Chamber. It''s a beautiful day, isn''t it?" A colleague of mine asked, as he peeked from the barrier, which separated our workspace. "It sure is a great morning." I answered with a polite nod. The time now was 8:58, an ugly number. I lingered next to my seat as my colleague curiously glanced at the clock, I quickly sat down once the clock hit 9 am. "Jeez, such a perfectionist haha." he remarked, but went back to his work, before he could elaborate. The day went by only very slowly, there was no work left to do, but we were only allowed to leave at precisely 8 pm and once it hit 8 pm, it was time for me to leave, I no longer wished to remain a further second here. I packed my things before I was disturbed by an aggravating high voice. "Mr. Chamber, leaving already? Always the punctual one, huh?" Her voice grated at my last nerve¡ªactually her entire existence was a disturbance, she left trash around the office, wiped her crumbles off around furnitures and once confronted, she threw a tantrum where she resembled an overgrown toddler¡ªworst of all, good hygiene or at least deodorant, was a foreign concept to her. "Indeed, Ms. Brown. I wish you a nice evening." I turned away, before she could further converse with me. I didn''t see why I should not leave on time, once the time hit 8, there was no further reason to stay there, if the manager wasn''t in. I peeked at Ms. Lee''s desk in which she was buried with paperstacks, her small figure could barely be seen. "Still working, Ms. Lee?" I questioned as I walked up towards her desk. "Sadly yes, the manager demanded that I should finish this all today, but how can anyone finish this?" She wildly gestured around her surroundings until she let out an exaggerated sigh. "Ms. Lee, you are an amazing individual and a hard working one as well, besides you''re the best in your team, so I trust you''re the only one who can do it." "Really? Do you truly think so?" Her face brightened up tremendously. "Of course, I do. Now, I need to hurry, so I wish you good luck with this." I gave her a thumbs up as I made myself towards the elevators. I didn''t really care nor did I truly believe it, but that''s what you''re supposed to say. I learned when to smile, I learned when to cry, I learned when to maintain eye contact¡ªeven how long it should be. I learned how to hide between humans and because of it, I learned how to trick them as well. I was not born human, I learned to become human and unlike humans, I had no need for pride and no need for compassion. I simply had an insatiable hunger called ''greed''. Greed consists in doing what one desires My first kill was my nanny. Killing her didn''t bear an ulterior motive, I neither liked or disliked her. I was simply curious as to how it felt like when the air escaped someone''s lungs as I had previously tried with rats. When my parents entered the room with my hands tied around her neck, they stared at me with widened eyes¡ªas if I had done something wrong, but I didn''t. Because instead of punishing me, they simply reassured me that they''ll solve it, yet I should never speak of that day. My mother held me close and pulled me out of the house, while my father called a few of his contacts and that was the last time I saw my nanny. Few days later, I was forced to take private lessons on how to blend into society. Although they tried diligently to form me into a human, it never worked. A small¡ªbut important part of my brain was missing, causing me to be stumped by human behavior. I didn''t understand why I should feign interest for someone I didn''t care for nor didn''t I understand why I should not prioritize my own desires¡ªafter all, why shouldn''t I want the best for me? I started to avoid children altogether and instead focused my time on my own interests. Consequently, even before the incident I was deemed an outcast by most children, because people feared those who behaved differently. After a while of observing my parent''s meetings, I understood why it was important to pretend to care. You care to get your desires fulfilled! I knew I couldn''t hide behind the sanctuary of my home, eventually I had to go out and grasp whatever I wanted without my parent''s help. I changed to spite them, I trained to trick them into achieving my own desires and it worked. Once I switched schools and acted ¡®normal¡¯ after tirelessly observing social interactions¡ªI became well liked, I got others to do my dirty work, while I lived in bliss. I became human. I grew older and lived a relatively uneventful youth, yet the memory of death was stuck in my mind during all those years. My nanny had followed my life for a decade and suddenly she was gone. It was such a strange concept, everyone you knew, every person surrounding you could''ve killed you, because everyone is capable of doing so. Death followed me like a rotten stench of seduction and every day I had the urge to kill and not because it was special. Killing wasn''t special, even a dog could kill you, but I liked the freedom it brought. Killing proved to be useful to achieve my goals, you could simply eliminate the opponent. There was no true reason to defy the urge to kill, so why did we? Because of a book? Because it was written down onto some paper? Because someone else told it was wrong? No. We refrain from killing in fear of the consequences, if there were no laws to uphold that rule, then deaths would be as common as dust. The truth is the majority do not feel empathy, but simply refrain themselves simply because of the consequences¡ªtheir greed is insufficient and too shallow. Still there are many who will try to convince you it''s because we aren''t animals, we must not need to act like them, then again only the human mind would even try to educate a lion on equality, so it might not be that credible. Many others will explain to you, that it is simply wrong, but when you ask them why, they could not provide a further explanation other than ¡®Because you would not want it to happen to you either¡¯. If that were the case, then they would have to apply it in their daily life as well and treat every person with kindness. Hypocrites. One reason to kill is enough and right now I really wanted to kill my team manager. ¡°Mr. Chamber¡­ I¡ªI can''t move my arms any longer!¡± My colleague Mr. Johnson complained as he sprawled his arms across the paper stacked table. ¡°If I don''t make it out alive, tell my family that I love them!¡± I pat his shoulders sympathetically. ¡°I fear we both won''t make it out alive.¡± We looked at our team manager who ran around like a headless chicken and agreed in silence. It was always like this, the manager would mess up and all of us would be forced to drop our work and fix his mess. After hours of tireless work, we finally managed to escape that torment. My team and I bid each other our farewells in front of the company building and went our respective ways. The moon stood high above the sky observing everything beneath. Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. It had already gotten late, the lamps surrounding the company building were barely lit, the small river behind the building was completely drenched in darkness and gave off an eery feeling as if I had been watched. The building was built fairly secluded from the busy city area, hence why it was unusually dark around these parts. It was one of the reasons why I hated working overtime, it was too inconvenient to walk in the dark. ¡°Mr. Chamber!¡± A small fiery silhouette ran up to me. ¡°It''s strange to see you work so late! I heard something happened in your team?¡± Although I had no residue left to converse with Ms. Lee, I still maintained a kind expression. ¡°Yes¡­ The team manager messed up and we spent the entire evening cleaning up his mess. Besides that, have you already eaten? You seem rather pale.¡± I looked at her in feigned concern, but my smile didn''t quite reach my eyes. ¡°I must''ve forgotten, silly me.¡± She slapped her head jokingly. How foolish, the truth was that her team manager refused to let her take a break and even threatened to fire her. I wonder if¡­ ¡°Ms. Lee, I was about to drive home and prepare dinner, would you care to join me?¡± ¡°Me? Oh, I would love to!¡± She clapped her hands excitedly as I led her towards my car. ¡°Wow, Mr. Chamber I didn''t expect that you would drive a car like this! It''s beautiful!¡± ¡°Thank you, it was a gift from my mother.¡± Confusing filled me at the first part; why was it so unexpected for me to drive a car such as this? I started the car and slowly backed up from the empty parking spot as I drove past the forest towards my home. ¡°Gosh Mr. Chamber, this is delicious! You should open up a restaurant!¡± She spoke with a fully stuffed mouth while I hid my disdain behind another bite of mutton. ¡°Please, you flatter me too much.¡± ¡°Seriously¡­ Thank you so much, I can''t remember the last time someone cared for me like this.¡± She disheartenedly played around with the peas on the plate. I was filled with a sense of newly kindled curiosity, I wanted to understand and discover her¡ªI wanted to dissect her and push her towards her limits turning her into my object of curiosity. ¡°Well, you''ve got a friend in me, and if you ever need someone to talk to, then please do not hesitate to reach out.¡± I expectantly held out my wine glass. ¡°Then¡­ To new friendships!¡± She clanked the glass gratefully. Give someone who craves love a holding hand and they''ll be loyal to you for eternity. Keep them on a leash with treats and they''ll crave your attention. For some reason Ms. Lee insisted on doing the dishes, even after tirelessly trying to convince her otherwise, it came to no avail. ¡°Ms. Lee, it is already quite late, may I take you home?¡± I calmly suggested, but for some reason she grew pale at those words. ¡°No!¡± She let out an unearthly scream. ¡°I mean¡ªI will walk!¡± Her gaze turned away from me and the tension suddenly grew tangible, she acted strange. What was she hiding? ¡°Do not be ridiculous, I live too far away from the city for anyone to walk.¡± She didn''t answer, but after a while of silence she reluctantly nodded. ¡°Okay¡­¡± The address to her home seemed familiar somehow, but I could not wrap my mind around as to why, until we reached her home. Unbeknownst to me she lived in a relatively small and run down apartment complex with rats lingering in the darkness, while a foul stench penetrated my nostrils. ¡°You have all your belongings, correct?¡± ¡°Yes, Mr. Chamber. Thank you again for the meal! I''m wishing you a great weekend!¡± Her smile had returned as she saw that I did not act any different, who knew she was that conscious of how others perceived her, but seeing where she lives it was to no surprise. The area was known for its high population of fled immigrants and high crime rates, even making it to the news¡ªrobbery, assault and rape were daily occurrences in these parts. The proof of society''s failure are the robbery rates, the higher they are the bigger usually the wealth gap is between the rich and the poor, and not only that, but the educational differences as well. Immigrants are less likely to earn higher educational degrees, because children whose parents did not earn academic degrees are at a systematic disadvantage, leading them to pursue a path of crime and quitting school altogether. Crime is simply a result of natural greed. ¡°Right to you, Ms. Lee.¡± As I bid her farewell a silhouette in the dark moved swiftly back to the shadows. What a disgusting place. There was no need for me to further remain in this wretched piece of the city. Once home I cleaned the dishes again and threw my clothing into the washing machine. I felt as if the stench lingered in the crevice of my clothing eating away at the expensive cloth. Thankfully tomorrow was the weekend, which meant I did not need to spend time with any unreasonable people¡ªinstead I could waste away at my home or so I thought. The next day an unbearable shrill sound awoke me, it was the alarm of my car! I hastily grabbed a coat and put on my shoes to examine what happened outside. To my sheer surprise, someone had broken my car window with a damn brick! Who in the world would even come near this place and purposely destroy my property? As angry as it made me, I had to get over myself and get help in catching that bastard. I had to call the police.