《Lingering Thoughts》


 Prologue: Erasure

    I¡¯m greeted by a soft, supple touch upon my lips. Through the darkness that enveloped me because of my apparent closed eyelids, it was hard to tell what would it be which was enveloping my lips.


    (Wait, why are my eyes closed, to begin with?)


    Such a question would surely have an easy-to-give answer, wouldn¡¯t it? Then, why can¡¯t I do so? No matter how much time passes as I pondered on the plausible solution, an unavoidable feeling of everything being amiss invaded me and wouldn¡¯t leave my very being. In fact, the more I try to think deep in my memories, the only thing that comes into the light is¡­


    Nothing, at all¡­ A full blank slate, a void that wouldn¡¯t show the way of how this situation began, what had I done and, most importantly at that¡­


    (Wh-Who am I?)


    The realization of memory loss stirred my heart so much, enough that every heartbeat could be heard on my eardrums to its fullest as anxiousness coursed throughout my body, making me leave a trail of cold sweat down by my nape.


    Just when I was about to lose myself with the racing thoughts, a tender brush parted away from my lips, and that enough was enough to bring me back to reality, squinting my eyes to the impending brightness, the troubles that I had thought suddenly vanished as calm reigned once again in my mind.


    Of course, why wouldn¡¯t I be soothed down once I saw ahead of me?


    Once adjusted to the ridiculous light that surrounded me, or rather us, it dawned upon me that a beautiful woman whose silver locks of hair dazzled me with utmost radiance rivalled to that of the area. I came to understand now what was holding onto my lips, bringing a hand up to them.


    (I see, if I was kissing such a wonderful lady like her, then I¡­ Wait, no.)


    There¡¯s no way I could¡¯ve forgotten my life as a whole by her beauty, let alone a kiss. I would remember her to begin with as a matter of fact. Despite it all, I only see an unknown face.


    ¡°On normal terms, you¡¯d be right young one.¡±


    Instinctively, I turn around to face the source of the voice. To say I was surprised is farfetched, there was a loss of words once I saw the imposing presence of a titanic old man, one with unending radiance where his face would be and a beard that denoted age and wisdom.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Between the impression and my fear, it takes me a while to finally be able to stammer. ¨C (So, y-you can hear¡­)


    As if confirming my thoughts, the imposing figure lifted a hand, hushing me on the spot and continued. ¨C ¡°Yes, I can read your mind. Don¡¯t fret, I¡¯m going to let you in of your current condition.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but feel chills running down my spine, not only for having some loss of privacy of what would be my safest place but also because of the last few words which were spoken. Everything screamed ¡®unease¡¯ with this whole situation, it didn¡¯t feel real.


    It took a while before the old man could word everything together, and even if he tried to sound calm, I managed to feel a faint quiver behind them. ¨C ¡°Young one, I apologize to be the bearer of bad news. However, you are in your right to know that you have perished, and have come to the Afterlife.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t kidding. Every word was the cruel truth, I don¡¯t think he¡¯d gain anything for lying to me about such a matter.


    (Perished? When ¨C No, how?)


    A silence grew, and the more it did, the more deafening and despairing it was. I want him to be proven wrong but, as I turn around, I notice that everything is the same, patches of clouds with a pearly gold hue to them, and that was it. No roads, no buildings, heck, not even a soul but us three, including the still vigilant woman from before. There was no denying it, I truly died.


    ¡°Your demise was caused by the fall of your planet, you weren¡¯t the only one who passed away either. You managed to reach the Celestial Grounds because of the deeds you committed throughout your life, however¡­¡±


    He trailed off and it seemed like he wasn¡¯t sure on how to answer the next part. Just when I was about to inquire about it, the grasp of a hand against my shoulder made me jump, turning immediately to see the silver-haired lady, whose expression was filled with grief and uncertainty, as she continued for the old man.


    ¡°You were quite shaken after coming here, more than the rest, so I was tasked by my Lord to erase your memories first.¡±


    Like he said then, these aren¡¯t normal circumstances after all. It feels like being slapped senseless, leaving me in an estate of complete hopelessness with no idea what to do.


    ¡°Well¡± ¨C The voice of the man whom I am to understand is God, resonated a tad more hopeful. If it was to reassure me or not, I don¡¯t know. ¨C ¡°On most cases, we usually clean everything up from the passing souls. Knowledge, emotions, personalities, common sense, philosophy, and all in between. You, however, are an exception if you so desire.¡±


    I was about to answer him with my thoughts, but there was something I wanted to confirm, since my memories are non-existent, then I wanted to hear my voice to see if I was correct. ¨C ¡°What do you mean ¡®an exception¡¯?¡± ¨C High pitched, but not overly so, soft and strong enough to be heard clearly without repeating myself, hopefully, that was enough to verify that I am a woman.


    ¡°As I said before, you came here because of your deeds, and they were quite grand as well. You are one righteous soul despite the hardships in your given life. That¡¯s why, you get to keep your essence because that represents you, and they can continue doing so if you also desire to either live here or being born in another world of your choosing.¡±


    ¡°P-Pardon, you just said ¡®born¡¯? Am I going to be reincarnated?¡±

 Chapter 1: Undue Guilt

    I couldn''t see it, but there was no mistaking, the Old Man spirit had been lifted, a smile curling up from his lips hidden away from the never-ending light. - "New-born, Reborn, Reincarnation, and Transfer. Those are the options presented to you in regards of beginning anew, or you could find your eternal rest in this Realm."


    The woman at my side moved ahead, turning her heels to face me as she gave a quick bow, pressing her right hand just above her bust upon the left side where her heart would be. - "If you decide to remain here, you can also work for my Lord here. He is powerful, but he always welcomes any and all aid."


    "Now Miria, you and I know that while that is true, you mostly do it to be praised for a job well done."


    A blush and a nervous fidget were her answers at being brought to the spotlight. It didn¡¯t last long, however, as Miria pulled back her work face as she glanced back to me.


    ¡°Joking aside, there¡¯s also the option of taking your time, there are plenty of souls who require some erasure. And we are talking about billions of souls so, there¡¯s a surplus of time.¡±


    I grew quiet after taking in all of the information in, and while it¡¯s tempting to answer right away, there was an issue, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to give it. It''s too much to take in a single moment.


    Unconsciously, I brought my hand up to my face, the index fingernail being bitten as I focused on what would be the best course of action.


    Feeling my anxiety, Miria reached her hand down to take a hold of my own, facing God with a faint smile. ¨C ¡°My Lord, I¡¯m going to help our friend here to ease her mind. Besides, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m the only angel around, right?¡±


    Understanding the situation and with a sound nod, God replies. ¨C ¡°Do take care of her, we¡¯ll do what we can. And you, young one, take the time you need. Within reason, of course.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t answer to him, once that out of the way, both Miria and I drifted downwards through the clouds. Even inside them, light-filled every nook and cranny, forcing me to squint my eyes.


    It took a while but, we finally managed to come out the seemingly endless clouds that wrapped us. What awaited us once outside was a sight that shouldn¡¯t even exist in a place that promises eternal rest, something that would make an ordinary person faint just to have a glimpse of this horrid scene.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    The ambient felt heavy all around as grief, anguish, depression and overall, pain invaded the area. The reason was simple to understand as well, a sea of people with screeching cries of pain and foul cursing hoping to ease the pain were all lined up in a bloody and charred mess as they pleaded the other angels to get to them as quick as possible to tend to their wounds and demanding why are they in such deplorable state. Everyone whom I spotted was with burned flesh from head to toe, enough to confuse them with a walking corpse, or gaping wounds that would most likely kill just about anyone in an instant, yet it was the same for everyone, they were in complete pain as their wounds were still fresh and present even after their deaths.


    Slapping my hand up to my mouth, I contain the urge of vomiting by a mere ounce of willpower, but that didn¡¯t stop my tears from flowing and running freely down my cheeks. As the ¡®how¡¯s¡¯ and ¡®whys¡¯ began to form, I recall God saying about the fall of the world, being the cause of our demise. The reason behind it eludes me as to what happened so I turned around to see Miria in hopes to get an answer, but I¡¯m immediately halted after seeing her clouded expression, only managing to bring out a whisper as we continued our descent.


    ¡°This is the only thing I never get used to.¡±


    Between the cries, a man pointed at our direction and shouted. ¨C ¡°Oi, look ever there!¡±


    What was supposed to be just a voice in the crowd soon became a pressing muttering and the eyes pointed towards us, more specifically at me, as a portion of the yells died down, only to be replaced by muttering. Somehow, the words spoken were hammering the very back of my mind, pressure swelling up inside of me as I clenched my fists almost defenceless.


    ¡°So that¡¯s the one. ¨C The damned failure. ¨C Yes, look the results of her meddling now. ¨C She shouldn¡¯t have been brought here, hell is more fitting. ¨C Death was too good for her. ¨C She should¡¯ve stayed behind to burn on the land that consumed us. ¨C Better yet, let her be that blob of rotten meat once again, that was a fitting sight to see.¡±


    Their hatred towards me made me feel worried, even scared for my own safety. I didn¡¯t know what was going on, I just felt my heart sinking to the depths of fear. I wanted to run away, hide somewhere, heck even turning away would¡¯ve been enough, but I was paralyzed and my body wouldn¡¯t listen to me.


    A pair of hands gripped both my shoulders, and panic dominated my every senses, already believing to be trapped by just about anyone who wanted to bring me harm. Seconds felt like aeons, I felt faint and my lips and throat dried up as my vision became blurry from the still running tears, I¡¯m going to be punished without knowing why.


    However, to my surprise, I was pulled into an embrace, shaking me away from everyone and everything else. Looking up, I see Miria glaring to those who dared to speak ill of me, returning to look at me with an apologetic smile whilst saying. ¨C ¡°You don¡¯t have to stay here, I¡¯d be a hypocrite to ask you after this experience.¡±


    Silently, I pressed my head against Miria¡¯s chest once again, shutting myself away from the hatred behind me as it began to dissipate once we reached the next set of clouds.


    I never felt it, but among the crowd were a handful of people proud of me despite their battered bodies.