《The Unluckiest Main Character Ever》
Chapter 1.1 - The lottery for misfortune is a lot easier to win at
Chapter 1.1
Perhaps it was the countless eternities spent failing to create any interesting legends, or maybe it was the fact that finding a lead character that wasn''t plain-as-dough or boring-as-fuck was getting increasingly harder, regardless, all one needed to know that theAUTHOR was royally pissed. As the creator of all the legends of the universe, theAUTHOR was an extremely powerful being that could, at their fancy, disturb or destroy a reality to progress their story. In spite of this, theAUTHOR had not produced a satisfactory story in nigh on three millenia.
"Maybe the main character shouldn''t be grossly over powered? Maybe I should make it harder for the hero? The gods keep complaining about how stiff and mundane the hero''s daily life is..."
Just then an epiphany wasbestpowed upon theAUTHOR:instead of fine-tuning every detail in the story, they would let the main character find their own way through their own trials, all they had to do was make those trials...
Kyousuke woke with a start. Another bad dream, something like getting confessed to by a guy again... what a tasteless joke... You see, Kyousuke was in fact a guy - Fifteen years old and far too emotionless for his age - who by chance was born with some slightly effeminate features usually not found in boys. If one had to describe how he looked, they would say that Kyousuke was a boy who teetered on the edge of womanhood, with his smaller stature, softer facial features and leaner build. Unfortunately for those who wished to confess to him, Kyousuke very much viewed himself as a straight guy, so any cry of,
"Please go out with me!"
From any boy was usually denied with,
"I''m a guy."
The conversation would then transition, rather oddly, to,
"Ehh? Are you sure? Whatever, love transends all barriers!"
"I''m straight."
Then the conversation would end with Kyousuke judo-flipping the over-enthusiastic guy onto the ground, probably breaking a bone... or ten. Surprisingly this also made him very popular with the girls too, who Kyousuke didn''t mind the company of seeing as they weren''t contantly trying to confess to him. Consequently this lead to more people think Kyousuke was a girl as they always dragged him around the place, making him quite immune to their charms. Personally Kyousuke didn''t mind, he had grown quite accustomed to his way of life and felt that it was probably inevitable that he would be mistaken for a young girl for a majority of his life. Certainly nothing would disturb his relatively peaceful life, he thought as he closed the door to the dorm behind him. What an apathetic person.
Thin shadows grew from the bases of the bare plum trees, cast by the ambient glow of the morning sun as Kyousuke walked to his family''s inn. Small puffs of breath burst into the air, disappating as quickly as they had been formed. Halfway there, Kyousuke was met with a familiar sight, his childhood friend Issei.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
"Yo, Kyou-chan~, how ya doin''? Any boys confess lately?"
"Oh. It''s just Issei-san." Kyousuke''s languid reply propted Issei to try a different topic,
"Wai! You''re too formal Kyou-kun, how''re you gonna get a girlfriend at this rate?
"I don''t need one."
"But wouldn''t having a girlfriend show that you''re a man?"
"Oh look, we''ve arrived."
"Hey! Stop trying to change the topi-- Wait up!"
Kyousuke took this chance to dash ahead of Issei and cut off the conversation. It was at this point Kyousuke began to notice something weird was going on with his surroundings, like reality was being rapidly torn apart and squashed together all at once.Before long, all that was left was the ground he was standing on and all around him was an infinite expanse of white void... winter must be pretty bad up north, he thought.
"Dammit! You''re too fast Kyou-"Issei had frozen mid-sentence,
"Oya! I only needed one but a second one got caught up in my search? I''ll have to delete it I guess..." A large hand that suddenly appeared floating a few metres above Kyousukehad somehow begun to talk.
"The fuck?" Kyousuke looked at the hand blankly,
"Eh, you can still talk?"
"Yeah. More importantly what''s that about deleting my friend?" The hand paused for a moment and somehow assumed athoughtful look, even though that was technically impossible,
"Hmm... You''re an interesting little thing aren''t you... Never assumed a character would develop true sentience. How about I strike you a deal then? Seeing as you''ll be quite an interesting subject..." The booming voice of the hand, which was the voice of theAUTHOR,had taken on a more business-like tone all of a sudden; it had found a potentially interesting character for the lead role. "I won''t delete your friend if you agree to my conditions."
"What makes you think I''ll just agree?"
"The fact that I have your friend under a forced coma, also that I''m technically the closest thing that you''re gonna get to a god in this situation, so I could force you to listen - not that it makes much of a difference."
"Good point."
The hand then hovered close to Kyousuke, as if inspecting him with it''s non-existant eyes, "Listen close little mortal, I''m giving you a huge bargain. You get to remake part of the universe, anything at all."
"Then I''d like my friend back?"
"Aaand he''s wasted his choice." The hand seemed to grin smugly, Kyousuke could feels waves of mischief and potential havoc roll off the hand, like the type found when a baby is left with a chainsaw-blowtorch hybrid, "Well, you asked for it, just don''t regret it."
The hand put it''s thumb against it''s middle finger and snapped them together, a bright flash emitted from the hand and Issei opened his eyes then spasmed uncontrolably and fell limp to the floor.
"What did you do?" Kyousuke looked at Issei who lay twitching on the ground, mouth foaming, his apparent concern being overshadowed by his seemingly unconcerned mannerisms.
"I did what you asked, never mentioned that a being without true sentience can''t comprehend a nanosecond of my realm without frying their brain to a crisp, did I?" it was at this point Kyousuke realized that he had been scammed, by God. "Did you ever read the T&C''s? Cause those are about to make things so much more interesting for you!"
"Oh shit."
Chapter 1.2 - Terms & Conditions can be skipped, but its not always a good idea
Chapter 1.2
Kyousuke heard himself sigh, mentally preparing himself for the shitstorm that was about to strike.
"Heh." The massive floating hand had started to chuckle, as if they were laughing to a joke that only they had heard, "Hehehe! This will be so... Interesting!"
Oh shit.
A feeling of momentary weightlessness suddenly assaulted Kyousuke as he felt himself being carried into the uppermost levels of the void, the image of the street rapidly shrinking into the distance almost instantly gave him vertigo. He blacked out.
"Oh? He wet himself..." The hand of the AUTHOR once again reassumed a smug aura as they carefully lifted the small character out of their reality and summarily set them down in another one, "That went easier than expected, now for the character modifications..." All the while the AUTHOR silently chuckled to themself, this was the most exciting thing that had happened in a long, long time.
Kasaheim was what one could consider a prime example of a magical setting, complete with expansive lore; many diverse races, biomes, planets and seperate caste of gods to govern over each aspect of it. Considering this, it wouldn''t be a stretch to consider the AUTHOR the high god that dictated the very rules of reality and existence in all realms if one thought about it hard enough, though that is neither here nor there. Kasaheim translated quite neatly into ''Realm of the Guardian'' in the common tongue of it''s inhabitants despite the fact that no such race existed on Kasaheim, the races that did exist however were generally divided into the following; the Dwarvish Offspring, the Elementals, the Forestkin, the Fae, the Humans and the Beastkin. Each race had many sub-races as to diversify the population in terms of martial ability and talents, for instance the Dwarvish Offspring consisted of the Dwarves, Halflings and Gnomes. Perhaps even more interesting was the societies that these races lived in, although it would take an entire library to chronicle each sub-races'' cultural norms and customs. It was this world that Kyousuke was dropped into.
The AUTHOR gingerly set an unconcious Kyousuke down in the middle of a small clearing, masking their presence so the other gods wouldn''t notice them. The AUTHOR shuddered, one of the gods of this world enjoyed consuming copious amounts of alcohol, as he had been unfortunate enough to discover firsthand on one of his trips around the realms. Shaking the unpleasant thought from their mind, the AUTHOR resumed focus on the task at hand, gently tapping Kyousuke''s forehead to rouse him from his sleep.
"OH SHI--" Kyousuke paused, puzzled at the sudden change in his surroundings, though it didn''t show on his face, "--t... Where am I?"If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
"Hehe, welcome to Kasaheim, one of the more interesting realms and your new home!"
"New home?" The hand nodded, or at least tried to,
"You do seem to be adjusting rather well." The hand noted Kyousuke''s bland expression as he examined the forest around him.
"Magic seems more interesting than logarithms."
"Anyway, your purpose here is to..." It seemed to Kyousuke that the hand was definitely adlibbing his destiny to his every whim and fancy, "Is to... To ascend to godhood!" The hand finished with as much dignity as it could muster. It really needed to plan properly.
"I''m assuming I get an overpowered ability that accelerates my growth?" Kyousuke had read a few Isekai style light novels and the hero always had some powerful perk to give them the edge over the other characters.
"No."
"Oh?" Kyousuke frowned.
"That''s right Kyousuke, you have to reach godhood by your own ability! Shed blood, sweat and tears for my amusement and your goals!"
"Why should I listen to you?" Kyousuke stated the obvious.
"I thought I told you? Oh wait, you lost consciousness... Anyway the prize was that you got to make another wish." The AUTHOR suddenly felt a strong presence, one that was linked to one of their less pleasant divine hangovers, approach them and disappeared in a flash, leaving Kyousuke to ponder his seemningly endless misfortune with a farewell of "Good luck!". As soon as the hand''s form disappated, another divine being apparated, a gargantuan goblet of what he assumed to be wine in one hand.
"Damn! He was just here, I can sense it!" The being in question was a goddess. One of the more attractive ones too it seemed, though the goblet the goddess took a large swig from ruined the divine aura that most gods possessed, "YOU!" She looked at Kyousuke, "HAVE YOU SEEN A FLYING HAND AROUND RECENTLY?"
Normally Kyousuke would lable such people as drunk lunatics, however he had just been kidnapped by one such individual so he couldn''t say anything, "Yes, they just disappeared though."
"Y-YOU LIE! FACE JUDGMENT!" The red-faced goddess seemed unsure about what she was saying and it seemed to Kyousuke that she was punishing him to vent her frustration, or was she just drunk? "LIARS SHALT LIE NO MORE, BE MUTED!"
Instantly Kyousuke felt something in his throat disappear,
"What did you do?" Was what he wanted to say, but instead all that came out was a slight wheezing, at the same time the goddess'' face became significantly less red and she let out a primal roar of a burp,
"Eh? Oh no! I''ve done it again haven''t I? I''m so sorry!" At this point Kyousuke didn''t know what was going on, so he just nodded in agreement, "I''m so sorry! You must have had such a pretty singing voice too..."
I couldn''t sing though.
"With you being so beautiful and all..." The goddess then paused and snuck up closer to Kyousuke and began sniffing him, "Wait... You smell of him..."
Smell of who? More importantly, how can she tell?
"Wow, your skin is really smooth..." This broke Kyosuke from his thoughts and it was then he reallized something was wrong. He looked down and was greeted by twin hills where his chest used to be, and the awkward tentpole between his legs had disappeared. Also, it seemed, he was naked.
Huh.
Chapter 1.3 - Oftentimes help is a charity, this isnt one of those times
Chapter 1.3
Kyousuke sat against a tree, the goddess'' face pressed against his - her? - chest as she inhaled through her nose. If anyone else was in Kyousuke''s position, they would be delighted. Instead Kyousuke''s mind wondered as the goddess passionately sniffed her naked body; the hand had said something about ascending to godhood then--? Kyousuke was rudely pulled out of her thoughts as the goddess began sniffing a more... intimate area.
What was that? It''s distracting, please stop.
Failing at verbally deterring the goddess, mainly because of her lack of vocal cords, Kyousuke began to push the woman away from her, or at least tried to - the goddess proved to be a lot stronger than she looked, as she simply pushed Kyousuke''s arms away and pinned them to her sides as she pressed her face deeper towards the poor girl''s neck. As a boy, Kyousuke had no idea how sensitive the neck was and it came as a surprise to her when she shuddered from the goddess'' contact. Moreover, Kyousuke had always disliked physical contact and that hadn''t changed even when his body had. Attempting to force the goddess away again, this time Kyousuke used her legs to kick her in the stomach.
"Ow!" The kick had done the job and Kyousuke quickly took advantage of the opening and started to sprint at full speed away from the woman, eager to avoid the goddess'' skinship forever. Unfortunately for Kyousuke, she had conveniently forgotten that the goddess could teleport.
"There you are!" Kyousuke looked up to discover that a woman had fallen from the sky onto her, except this woman looked way too similiar to the one adamant to make love to her in a forest just moments before. Kyousuke felt a sudden shudder, as if she was in her death throes.
Shit.
"Eh? Did you say something?" The goddess looked positively confused, "I thought your voice was sealed?"
It is. I don''t seem to be talking.
An unfathomable distance away, the AUTHOR chuckled to himself.
"Now that I think about it, his - or should it be her? - original character did have that ability, they just needed to be under some life-threatening situation for it to awaken." The AUTHOR seemed even more amused now, "Getting sniffed by Zani counts as a life-threatening situation!?"
The goddess suddenly inspected Kyousuke with some thought, "You''re a psion? Now that''s unusual... Only the Deep Elves are able to develop such abilities through strict discipline, yet here you are. A human psion."If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
Ok, save the explaination for later please? Can you get off me now? Having a woman pin a teenage boy to the ground in a forest seems less than appropriate if someone walks by.
"But you''re a girl."
That makes it worse. Also just because I smell nice doesn''t mean you can rape me, please get off me.
"Oya! You read my mind didn''t you?" The goddess complied and stood up, leaving Kyousuke on the ground wheezing for breath as she was immediately relieved of the twin hills of death that were the goddess'' bosom.
Who are you?
Kyousuke eyed the goddess warily, not that it wasn''t nice to look at her though; a curvy hourglass body hid under loose fitting robes which managed to impressively fulfill their purpose to the barest minimum, her skin shone with a healthy radiance and her waist-length green hair that was tied in a complicated braid fell over one shoulder. She quite literally defined the term ''made to have fun'' not even mentioning her impulsive behaviour, despite this though, the goddess'' lilac eyes had a sharp intelligence to them. Clearly there was more than one side to scent-crazed, air-headed goddess.
"Z¨¢ni, goddess of drunkards and alcohol, at your service!"
I should''ve guessed, what with the huge goblet and all... I think the better question would be why the goddess of alcohol is so persistent about seeing a floating hand?
"That''s a long story, that would be less than pleasant to hear, well for you at least. Damn! That was the best night of my life!"
Yeah... I think it''d be better if you kept that story to yourself.
A few images of a large floating hand making love to Zani, some in very scandalous fashion, flashed through Kyousuke''s mind briefly. The goddess merely laughed, clearly she knew what Kyousuke was thinking.
"That aside, I''d like to know your name in return!"
It''s Kyousuke.
"What an unusual name for a girl..." The chipper goddess slyly provoked Kyousuke by reminding her of her change in gender, she had noticed the unusual ways that Kyousuke reffered to herself.
Just so I make it clear, I still consider myself a boy.
Kyousuke immediately felt that she kind of disliked Zani, as rare as such a thing was for her. More importantly, her reply had been an indication for the goddess in question to tease Kyousuke further,
"But you''re so pretty!"
Hmph.
"Your hair is so silky and your skin is so smooth and fair!" Zani cooed with mirth, "Your body is so slender and your face is oh so beautiful!"
Please do yourself a favor and go die in a corner.
"Now that was uncalled for."
Irate at being reminded of her currently naked status, she went and demanded that the goddess give her something to wear to compensate for her actions and was presented with a rich red robe. Suspicious that the goddess had caved in so easily, Kyousuke was sure that there was a catch and hesitated to put it on,
There''s a catch, isn''t there?
"You''re quite sharp aren''t you? I did want another go at your body..."
... If I let you do that, will you make me a deity? That would be really convenient for me.
"Unfortunately not. Nice try though, I actually considered that for a moment." Seeing Kyousuke''s somewhat downcast expression though, she relented, "I will point you in the right direction though."
Really? That would be appreciated.
Maybe she wasn''t as bad as she had first come off, Kyousuke thought with a smile on her face.
"First things first, get on the ground." Kyousuke''s rare smile disappeared twice as fast as it had appeared.
The AUTHOR watched on in sympathetic silence as Zani ferociously touched and nuzzled Kyousuke all over, somehow it reminded him of his own experience with Zani just with less alcohol.
Kyousuke limped towards the nearest tree, she felt her male mentality shatter somewhere in the deep confines of her mind... Zani leaned against a nearby tree, face blissfully blank as she drooled puddles onto the forest floor.
Can I have those tips now?
Chapter 1.4 - Vague directions are no better than having no directions at all, maybe even worse
Chapter 1.4
After the terrifying ordeal with Zani, Kyousuke leaned against the trunk of a flimsy birch sapling, a horrified expression on her usually indifferent face.
Can you give me those tips now?
"Eh... Just become really, really powerful. Or popular, that usually works too." It was an acceptable answer, given that Zani was drunk again, on sexual pleasure this time it seemed.
That wasn''t really helpful. Can I get another tip?
"No can do honey, by the way how do you feel about round two?"
I''m not a condiment. And no, I think I just developed a fear of sexual contact.
"Oh... You''re no fun!" Zani pouted, placing a large white pill in Kyousuke''s hand despite her comment earlier, "Eat that and tell me how you feel. It should make you return to your original form." The goddess yawned, this conversation wastakinglonger than neccessary in her opinion.
Really? That would be nice.
Kyousuke eyed the pill sceptically. Zani had said pill, although the object was more like a little ball of a light that had been solidified. After a few moments of consideration, Kyousuke caved. It was better to have a small chance to reverse the hand''s genderbending rather than none.
"Well I''m a nice person, so you''re welcom-- ?" The goddess watched on in disbelief as Kyousuke downed the pill in one go, her appearance changing to mirror her original features.Kyousuke''s formally blonde hair had taken on it''s original black colour as it had been during her time in her previous life. In general she looked a lot more oriental, like a Yamoto nadeshiko if one had to describe the changes in a few words. Except her gender had remained the same, defeating the purpose of the pill, though not entirely. "What''s with your eyes?"
It''s good enough I guess. I''m kind of disappointed I didn''t turn back into a boy though.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
Kyousuke sighed, half from resignation, half from disappointment. After all, she had hopes pinned on the pill to turn her back to normal and it had fulfilled half her expectations. At least she was in a slightly more familiar body. She also failed to notice Zani''s eyes bugging out at the colour of her eyes, which were now a pale grey as opposed to her original brown.
"Who are you?"
Eh?
"You have the eyes of an Authority, yet we''ve never even heard or seen you before. Who are you?" Zani looked at her strangely, rabid curiosity and a smidge of fear mixed into her gaze. Which was funny seeing as she had shamelessly molested her just a few minutes ago.
Eyes of an Authority?
Kyousuke asked furtively. Her interest had been peaked, but she could tell that asking too many questions could make Zani answer less. It didn''t matter however, as just as the goddess was preparing to answer, she perked up.
"We''ll leave the questions for later, the other gods are calling for a meeting." She smiled stiffly, irritated that she had to leave at such an interesting moment in their conversation. Just then it was as if a lightbulb had appeared over her head. "You know what?"
No I don''t.
She ignored Kyousuke''s witticisms and grinned. "I''ll just bring you there."
The idea of more beings like Zani didn''t exactly appeal to Kyousuke, but that didn''t stop her from picking up Kyousuke by the waist and slinging her over her shoulder.
W-What are you doing?
Kyousuke''s senses told her that Zani was about to do something that would make the next hour extremely unpleasant for her stomach.
"Let''s go!" Light began to gather around the two.
Oh shi--
And the two disappeared in a flash of light
The AUTHOR cracked a grin, adding the finishing touches to the first paragraph of their story, the idea had been a huge success so far - or at least in his opinion, which is to say the only opinion that mattered - and the various gods had been pleased at how the stories were developing. Finally, after three thousand years of stagnation, the AUTHOR looked forwards to the next paragraph.
"The next paragraph... Let''s go check up on our main character shall we?" TheAUTHORthen felt something akin to a poke on the back of the head, it seemed that the gods were calling for a meeting. Not that he had to go - he was stronger than most of the gods combined. "Even if it''s just to keep up appearances, it''s starting to get troublesome!"
With that said, his immediate destination changed from Kasaheimto the Heavens.
Chapter 1.5 - Is there a word for when your friend dumps you in a party of strangers?
Chapter 1.5
Kyousuke dry-heaved over the edge of what was known as the Heavens, she had already thrown up more than a few times. The Heavens were heavenly in name only, seeing as it was essentially just another planet, given that said planet was a lot more advanced than Kasaheim. Massive pillars made from type of white stone, that rose above the clouds, were littered aroud the surface of the otherwise empty planet. These pillars were as large as a small town in both width and length and had the landscape of the ground below it replicated on it''s surface. Each pillar held a temple to a certain god, living space if you would. If you were to look at the surface of the planet from space, you would notice that the seemingly random smattering of pillars began to increase in frequency the closer they got to the equator of the planet. This convergence of city-sized pillars formed a sort of elevated, highly-populated strip around the center of the Planet. This structure was what was known as the Heavens and was populated by many beings, though mostly Celestials and Avariels, who could technically be called angels. Living on extremely tall pillars was not the most practical idea, but it was the most flattering and for beings as powerful as the Gods, flattery was a must. Despite the need for flattery, a trend of uniformity between the way the Gods chose where to build their temples and how they looked certainly existed. The stronger or more influential a god was, the taller and further away from the central strip of the Heavens their pillar was. A strange thing about the Heavens was it''s social structure and economy, as would be expected with having hundreds of individuals who could unleash a power comparable to dropping a thousand Tsar Bomba at the snap of their fingers living in close proximity to each other.
The economy of the Heavens worked in the way any currency usually would, except instead of material exchange, exchange of energy was used. It could be any type of energy, be it mana or any one of the many types of energy used to fuel the arcane arts of the universe, once traded the energy would always revert into a pure form of energy that could be gifted to the followers of any god as a ''blessing'' to bolster their power known as Cero. Consequently, since the might and quantity of a god''s followers bolstered a god''s power and influence too, the worth of the Cero was cemented among the Gods. The pill that Z¨¢ni had given Kyousuke was an specialized Cero, altered slightly so it negated the effects of transformation magic. Of course that was not the only thing the Gods could favour their faithful with, it was just the most common and easiest to obtain since all it required was energy that was pure enough not to destroy the delicate balance of the body''s natural pool of energy. The things that carried true value, both as currency and a blessing, was a god''s True Blessing. A True Blessing was always unique, dependant on which god had blessed you, as a True Blessing symbolised the god imparting a small portion of their domain of power to you. As such, those with a god''s blessing where immensly powerful and could use that power in any number of ways. Exchanging True Blessings could be considered a guarantee between gods, a promise between equals to honour an agreement or have a part of the oathbreaker''s power consumed instead. These exchanges were far and few inbetween, but they had a name known by all Gods - Final Oaths. It was to the pillars of one of Zani''s Final Oath debtors that Zani teleported her and Kyousuke to.
"Asclepius!" Zani set her massive goblet down in the courtyard of a greek-styled temple complex with enough force to send cracks out in the marble paneling and uproot a eucalyptus tree in the process. "Come out!"
After she repeated the action a few more times, a grey haired, youthful looking woman rushed out of the main temple to placate an overtly irritated Zani, perhaps a priest or servant of the god Zani had called Asclepius. Despite appearing so young, the woman carried the gravitas of a jaded old lady. She had probably dealt with the goddess at one point, a fact comfirmed by what she said in response to Zani''s actions.
"Gods be damned, is it really necessary to break all the tiles everytime you visit? What do you want this time? Master Asclepius is out at the moment, needless to mention. His healing is highly sought after, as you know."
"I''ve come to make good on the Final Oath he made a while back." The woman''s eyebrows did their best not to climball the way up her forehead.
"I see, then come in. I''ll go and tell the master about the circumstances. He should be back shortly, in the meantime make yourselves comfortable."
"Ah, I see you''ve noticed my friend then..." Kyousuke perked up at this, she had no idea that Zani had cast magic over her.
"Your concealment is as shabby as ever, practice otherwise you''ll never be able to protect your precious ones." At this the grey haired priestess motioned for the duo to the entrance of the temple then urgently walked towards a small firepit in the other direction. Kyousuke looked at Zani expectantly as they walked towards the library-looking temple, demanding answers.
Why are you trying to hide me?
"That would be your eyes." Zani crossed her arms as she leaned against a bookshelf, sighing when Kyousuke tilted her head in confusion, another subtle show of confusion in an otherwise emotionless mask. "Your eyes are like an Authority''s, a power stronger than most gods, meaning that you are not what you seem to be. The silver of your irises indicate that you can wield the power of an Authority, making you both a mortal and a potential Godslayer. It''s a bad combination considering that both Gods and all other races will want to manipulate you since you can control such a large amount of power. That''s not even including your psionic abilities."
So you brought me here, closer to the people who want to control me, for what reason?
"It was convenient, seeing as you peaked my interest and I needed to meet the person who could help you, though for different reasons obviously."
By now Kyousuke was already prepared to shoot off all her questions on her imaginary list, adamant on not giving Zani a moment of respite as payback for the forest.
Why are you helping me? You are a god too, so you could be manipulating me too. So why aren''t you?
Z¨¢ni smiled wanly, then she stopped leaning on the bookshelf and walked towards Kyousuke and placed a hand on her head.
"I guess I''m just one of the more pleasant gods. Let''s just leave it at that." Clearly there was more to it than that, but Kyousuke let it slide seeing as Z¨¢ni had dug up some unpleasant old memories because of her question.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
I guess you are. Apart from the molesting, of course.
It was at this point, she realised just how tall Z¨¢ni really was. When she sat down on one of the chairs and was still taller than Kyousuke.
Eh? Why are you so tall now? You were at eye level in the forest.
Zani simply shrunk in size then grew again, all the while a huge smile plastered on her face. Gods could alter their appearance at will, though the change had to be similar to their original appearance, meaning size was no problem, she explained.
... Then what about original appearance? I thought gods just came into being?
"That''s only true for a few of the Gods, like Death, most of us are former mortals granted godhood because of how famous or powerful we were. You''ll notice many of the Gods aren''t kings though despite the requirements, that''s because that power must be your own and you need to be famous for a certain thing. I invented all the types of alcohol, which has no shortage of addicts. It''s why I''m so strong."
You invented alcohol!? You get more interesting by the second...
"Talking about yourself? A mortal that He brought over from god-knows-where and that mortal also happens to have the eyes of an Authority." Just then the doors to the temple flew open, a scholarly looking man dressed in a labcoat and rectangular glasses stepped in.
"Z¨¢ni? I heard from Nerinthe you came to make good on the Oath?"
Z¨¢ni stood up, walked up to Asclepius and slapped him. The poor man was sent flying through seven bookshelves and landed in front of Kyousuke.
"Ah. How daring, going commando."
Asclepius felt Z¨¢ni place her hand on his shoulder, a smile carved into her face.
"... Forget what I just said, what has gotten you in such a worry that you use our Final Oath?"
"It''s her eyes, look carefully. I trust you can keep this a secret?"
Asclepius nodded.
"You want me to hide this, correct?"
Z¨¢ni nodded.
"Follow me."
Kyousuke looked dumbfounded between the two. Were they married?
Asclepius led the two deeper into the temple. All the while having a headache and a nosebleed, he knew the presence of a Godslayer would send the Heavens into a frenzy. This was not the first time Z¨¢ni had brought such an individual into the Heavens, it probably wouldn''t be the last either. It was, however, the first time Z¨¢ni had brought such a cute one though.
"We''re here, Z¨¢ni please stay here." She gave him an ice cold stare, questioning his motives. "It won''t do for another god to see my methods or abilities, even if that god is you."
At this she relented and sat down, motioning for the two to continue. So Asclepius led Kyousuke into a room that looked similar to a doctor''s office, just ten times bigger. He then sat behind a desk at the far end of the room.
"You can sit there." He pointed at a chair in front of the desk. "You need something to hide your eyes."
Kyousuke nodded, imitating Z¨¢ni''s behavior and choosing not reveal the fact that she was a psion.
"A glamour or any spell magic risks being dispelled or seen through... How about a construct?"
Kyousuke had no idea what a construct was, but nodded anyway.
"Okay... Then a construct that won''t draw attention... How about bandages? They''ll be inscribed so that only you''ll be able to take them off. That sound good to you?"
Kyousuke imagined her new look in her head for a while, then she nodded, satisfied with how it''d look.
"You don''t talk much do you?" Asclepius noted. How observant. "No matter, let''s get this over with shall we?"
Then Asclepius stood up and bandages formed out of things air. Kyousuke tilted her head, surprised that the gods had so many surprises hidden up their sleeves.
"Perks of being god of healing and medicine." He explained smugly before he placed his index finger on the bandage. As he began drawing symbols on the bandage, his finger started to glow white, like a small star had ignited at the tip of his finger. Kyousuke watched curiously, drawing Asclepius'' attention. He finished off the inscriptions and turned to face her.
"I can teach you if you''d like." He smiled warmly, though that just made Kyousuke more apprehensive. Against her better judgment, she nodded. "It''ll work better if we put the bandages on, you''ll need to close your eyes after all."
Kyousuke turned around, back to Asclepius as he placed the bandages over her eyes.
"How does it feel?" Asclepius thought about what he had just said, a vacant look on his face. "Oh wait. You can''t talk... I just look stupid now. Anyway, try and visualise a small pool, that is your body''s natural energy. Now try and visualise a small river running out of that pool, start with a trickle then try increasing the amount. That river should lead to where you want the energy to coalesce. Keep in mind that the amount and speed that you send your energy at can bring about different results, for instance what the mages nowadays call fire magic is just a large quantity of energy that is sent quickly resulting in flames or heat."
Unbeknownst to Asclepius, he had been breathing into Kyousuke''s ear the entire time, prompting some very arousing reactions. It didn''t help that Kyousuke was blindfolded. The results of trying to control her flow of energy while being breathed on were... Amusing to say the least. On her first attempt, she released a potent beam of white hot fire from her hand, instead of the small flame she was supposed to create. Scaring the crap out of Asclepius as he tried to stop Kyousuke from burning down the entire room. Needless to say such a commotion caught the attention of Z¨¢ni who burst into the flaming room to see Asclepius holding a blindfolded Kyousuke by the waist while whispering into her ear. Not his finest moment.
"I CAN EXPLAIN!" Asclepius shouted at her, forgetting that he was still next to Kyousuke who responded to it by increasing her output of energy.
"Pervert." In one move Z¨¢ni dashed towards Asclepius, kicked him between the legs so hard that he was embedded into the ceiling and then some. She picked up Kyousuke and tried to take off the bandages. "Are you okay? Hnn! That damn pervert sure tied these bandages tightly!"
Actually that''s what''s concealing my eyes.
Luckily for Z¨¢ni, Kyousuke had calmed down as soon as Asclepius had stopped holding her by the waist and whispering into her ear.
"Huh, guess the pervert did teach you somewhere useful after all. Energy Manipulation is pretty damn useful."
Speaking of that pervert, maybe you can help him down? He did listen to you and help you after all.
"Fine. We need to be at that meeting soon anyway.""
We? It''s a bit dangerous for me to go isn''t it?
"You''re safer where I can see you, that way I can also protect you."
Kyousuke could see the logic in that, so she didn''t argue. Instead she pointed up.
Alright. Get him down and we''ll get this over with.
TheAUTHORset foot outside the huge auditorium that the Gods used for their meetings. On his way here, he had sensed a large flare of energy being released on Ol'' Asclepius'' domain, it wasn''t the best kept secret that Asclepius enjoyed playing the mad scientist, often creating concoctions and tools that the other Gods had good reason to keep away from. However it wasn''t the presence of energy that had surprised theAUTHOR,it was the type of energy that he had detected. Had Asclepius somehow managed to teach a psion how to use fire magic? He waved these thoughts from his mind as a god approached him.
"Authority. Glad to see you could make it." Greeted the one of the scarce few other beings that could stand toe to toe in a battle with him.
"Deus." He replied, pretty miffed that someone he actually had to listen to had been sent to receive him otherwise he might''ve just flew over to Asclepius'' domain to check out the interesting energy signature, but that would have to wait for now.
"The Gods have all gathered, you are the last to arrive, even Z¨¢ni made it." At the mention of Z¨¢ni, theAUTHOR shuddered. He would have to pay extra attention to avoid her.
"Well then lead the way." He tried his best to keep the fear out of his voice as he walked into the auditorium.
Chapter 1.6 - Digging up old memories can be quite unpleasant
Chapter 1.6
Stepping into the Auditorium, Z¨¢ni was immediately greeted by gasps of shock followed by reverant silence. Seems she had quite the reputation among the Gods.
"If it isn''t our resident troublemaker?" The snide smirk belonged to a decently tall, heavily muscled and definitely thick skulled man who had walked out of the stunned crowd. His brown hair was quite ridiculous, an amalgamation of dreadlocks and topknots that resulted in a sort of snake-pineapple hybrid that sat atop his head. "Finally decided to show up? Not running away from my challenges anymore?"
"Shut your mouth, musclehead... Or should it be shit-head now, seeing your new hairstyle? It''s an improvement from your last haircut anyway. Just get out of the way Ammon, the meetings gonna start soon." Z¨¢ni dismissed the insults that the pineapple guy said with a wave of her hand.
Kyousuke looked at Asclepius for answers. He sighed in response.
"That look is telling me that want the story between the two." He covered his face with one hand, shaking his head. "It''s a long story, are you sure you want to hear it? Hai... Who am I kidding? Of course you do."
Kyousuke had given him the head tilt again, albeit it was less effective with her eyes covered.
"... The god with the hideous haircut, his name is Ammon. He''s a younger god that turned up a couple centuries ago and since then he''s been trying to gain a seat in the Council of Twelve. The organization that keeps all the other gods in check, seeing as no gods can stand up to the twelve most powerful of their own. This is where Z¨¢ni comes in." He stopped to take a breath. Asclepius had been explaining for a solid minute now. "About a millennia ago, she defeated the Twelfth seat unintentionally by trial of warfare and gained the seat for herself. She didn''t care much for the position, but kept it out of respect for the previous holder anyway. As it turns out, many gods had their eyes on that seat seeing as the god in question had been slowly losing strength over the past few centuries, as of now he''s a minor god in the outermost ring of the Heavens, but now that a new goddess has taken his place they thought they had a chance. Especially because Z¨¢ni defeated him in terms of smarts, not raw strength."
Kyousuke snickered, berating the foolishness of those few gods. Z¨¢ni was far from weak, or at least in the bedroom she wasn''t.
"There have been countless challenges from countless gods, all of them have been beaten into the dirt by Z¨¢ni. Ammon is just the latest in a long line of hopeless contestants. Speaking of which, it seems that he''s challenging Z¨¢ni again." The last comment has been thrown in disinterestedly, Asclspius had probably seen enough of these challenges to have gotten bored.
"I challenge you!"Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!
"OK. Prepare to lose then." Z¨¢ni cracked her knuckles, preparing to beat the shit out of Ammon, again. Kyousuke wasn''t sure, but she thought she saw Ammon flinch and cover his gentals.
"Woah woah woah! I never said anything bout'' a trial by strength, I challenge you to trial by champion duel. Seeing as you have one now."
Ammon pointed to Kyousuke, the crowd''s gaze following in the same direction. Asclepius'' startled look contrasted nicely with the bored look he had wore earlier. Z¨¢ni was wearing a similar expression.
What''s a champion?
Kyousuke asked Z¨¢ni, completely oblivious to the fact she had just been called one.
"... You realize that she isn''t my champion right? Besides what person in their right mind would fight a blind girl?"
The AUTHOR wore a wide grin, he had noticed the little commotion at the opposite entrance and immediately noticed a familiar face.
''Oh ho! Kyousuke''s found a way to reverse the false transformation? But she can''t hide from me, after all I did make both forms.''
That smile grew five times wider when he saw that Z¨¢ni was caught up in the mess.
''... Nice! A way to have fun with our main character and get rid of Z¨¢ni!? What a miracle! What a blessing!''
"Hey Deus, I''m going to the main entrance!" And he disapleared without Deus'' input, a multitude of ideas and plans already forming in his head.
"I''m telling you, she isn''t my champion."
"Whatever, send her out or your seat is forfeited!"
"And who''s backing that decision?"
The AUTHOR materialised next to Ammon, his appearance wasn''t that of a large floating hand this time though. A young boy, looking to be about thirteen, was his form this time.
"Me."
"..." The entire crowd including Z¨¢ni and Ammon fell silent. The First seat of the Council had made a surprise appearance.
Deus sat down, a move of resignation on his part. He knew this would happen, after all Authority had a bad habit of abusing his power as First seat. But in the end, what was power but to be used and abused? He would let it slip this time, mainly because Authority hadn''t pulled a stunt like this in centuries.
"It''s decided then, Z¨¢ni! The meeting will be adjourned and instead a Champion duel will take place, the prize is the possession of the Twelfth seat!"
"After this is over, I''m going to come find you. You''d better hope that your death will come quickly." A death stare that would make the Devil jump out of his seat - funny considering that he was indeed in the crowd - shot in the AUTHOR''s direction.
''Yikes!'' The AUTHOR involuntarily took a step back. At this point, it would seem to the casual bystander that Z¨¢ni was a drunk with a penchant for assaulting teenagers. "A-Anyway, let the challenge commence!"
As if on cue, the Auditorium''s walls began shifting, so that the crowd and the AUTHOR sat on large steps that acted as seats and Z¨¢ni, Kyousuke and Ammon where standing in a rectangular arena roughly the size of a football pitch that was covered in tall grass.
"Send out your champions!"
Kyousuke felt someone tug at her hand. Z¨¢ni clasped her hands and apologized.
"I''m so sorry! I didn''t mean for this to happen... Not again!"
She was pulled away by Asclepius, who told Kyousuke that she would need to remove her bandages if she wanted a fighting chance.
"NO! If they see, they''ll tear her apart fighting for her!" Tears spilled out of Z¨¢ni''s eyes freely. "They''ll do what they did to Him!"
Kyousuke didn''t quite understand what Z¨¢ni had meant, but clearly this would be something to heal old wounds or cut deeper ones. So she stepped out into the arena, slowly unravelling the bandage around her eyes but keeping her eyelids closed.
I''ll be fine, Mother.