《Vincent's Bizarre, oops I mean Pokemon, Adventures》 Prologue - This Storyline is Beyond Repair The Sevii Islands, North of One Island, Mt. Ember KWUAAAAK! "I''m sorry, sorry!" I picked myself up after a miracle stumble from the rocky path, dodging a tongue of flame doing so. My retarded brain just had to get the splendid idea of picking a fight with the region''s most stubborn dickhead. BWUAAAA! KAAAAA! My words seem to taunts on the damn chicken even further as I feel a great heat gathering behind me. "Ah, goddammit! Slimeball! Go make yourself useful." "Bw-bui?!" The purple blob slushing alongside my feet made a shocked expression. "No~ the flaming maniac behind us. Yes you, ofcourse I''m talking about you!" "Bwui-tou!!!" "Don''t worry your sacrifice won''t be forgotten. I''ll make sure you''ll get an open casket funeral or you prefer to be free in the wind as scattered ashes instead?" "Toouuu!" "Right right, Dittoes don''t leave behind ashes. Not a problem, I''ll scoop you up later as that bird''s shit- THE POINT IS JUST TRANSFORM INTO SOMETHING!" "Biiii- LASTOISE!"If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. KWUAAAAAAA! After the stupid slime finally feels the dangerous heat levels behind us, it transforms into that prick''s iconic blue turtle. The fried chicken hot on our asses appears to be on the verge of unleashing its fire after our bantering probably egged it on even more. "Fuck it, forget about the PP! Hydro Canon its ass Slimeball!" At that moment the Moltress'' supercharged Fire Blast left its mouth while Ditto''s lacking-compared-to-the-original-but-still-damn-powerful geyser of destruction aimed true and both met half way. BOOOOOOM! A mighty tremor shook the mountain''s entire peak, scaring all wild pokemon down the slopes. Of course, I wasn''t sitting with my thumb in my ass as it happened. "Molester, get us out!" "Mime!" Under the steamy smokescreen, Molester got out and teleported the three of us to the island''s beach. With the purple flubber swaying out of commision due to Hydro Canon''s backlash, and as a petty revenge for harassing me all day, I got my backup ready. "Trigger it!" "Mime!" Using his telekinesis Molester lifted the arm of the unconscious Explosion Maniac, knocked out by yours truly, and signalled to the slow Gravallers halfway up to the summit. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! ... BOOM! Like cascading line of dominoes, the line of the slow-moving Gravellers and Macargoes escaping the Moltress'' wrath fell victim to the Explosion Maniac''s perversion with explosions teaching all surrounding wildlife to go with a bang, all went with a bang out of habit. That old man will definitely get along with a certain crimson demon clansman and a certain black robed artist if he survives the aftermath. KAAABOOOOOM!!! KREEEEEEAAAAAAAA By the time the explosion chain reached to top, pissing off the ghetto phoenix to no limits, we were scrambling the fuck out of there and into the sea. Good luck to the next poor sod who faces the rage of this deep-fried pecker. "Faster! Faster! You''re a fucking turtle, aren''t you? Doesn''t mean you have to be slow as one! I''ll turn you into turtle soup if you don''t go faster!" "Mime Mime Mime Mime!" "Bwaa~toooise" Under Molestor''s and my encouragement, the stubby turtle whines while paddling faster. 1 - Through Digletts Cave, through Mt Moon Somewhere ''Kid'' A distant rumble echoes through the world of darkness, breaking into the murky haze. ''Kid, wake up'' The trembling world continued to shake as the muffled voice got louder, dispersing some of the haze. "C''mon kiddo, don''t fall asleep in a place like this..." This time I heard it properly. A voice is talking to me, out of concern? "...there''s wild pokemon all around these parts." Eh? Did I hear that right? Pokemon? Pulling my sluggish eyes open greeted me with a young man crouched on one knee in a park ranger uniform, or at least what appears to be one. "Finally awake aren''t cha, pretty brave to sleep so soundly here." A quick absentminded glance around me shows the two of us are lying on the grass in some woodland with a wall behind me against my back. Wall? It feels too bumpy to be a building wall. "You mustn''t be so reckless, little boy. Even if its a game of playing trainers, you shouldn''t be so quick to go along with your friends. You''ll make your parents worry." Little boy? Game? Trainers? What is he on about. I wanted to respond but my head still fuzzy from the sudden awakening so I stayed quiet. The lecturing young man continues on regardless. "It''s a good thing that you''re unhurt when I found you, otherwise who knows what those digletts can do. You should go home now, your folks must be worried sick. Seriously, to fall asleep right in front of Diglett''s Cave with no pokemon is as reckless as you can get." The ranger man pulls my arms up and helps me to my feet, bringing my attention that my limbs are strangely skinny and short. Eh? This is my body? And the wall behind was the entrance to a cave? What''s going on? Why am I not at work? Was I kidnapped? What happened to my body? There are so many questions I wanted answers to but the man carries on anyway. "You''re from Pewter City right? Don''t worry, I''ll make we''ll get out safe and sound. Just make sure you get mommy''s or daddy''s pokemon to follow the next time you feel adventurous little one." With the man navigating his way around the trees and bushes and my arm pulling forward the confused me, we eventually made it out of the wooded area and onto a path of dirt leading to a city visible in the horizon. Upon seeing the unfamiliar sky, landscape and horizon, an urgent question was promoted number priority in my mind. Where the hell am I? --- Pewter City Over the past week, I''ve been trying to accept my current reality. No matter how ridiculous it seems, I can no longer ignore the clues and signs littered all over the place. Lest I diagnose myself of insanity, I think choosing to acknowledge my observations will better for my mental health. And so I have to admit it, the two startling discoveries. First being I''ve become a pipsqueak. My height, weight and voice all had reverted back to my days as a brat. All my hair down there is gone, my desk job flab poofed into nothingness and my preteen hormones production is at an all-time high. Reliving life as a shorty around 8 years of age is something I''d never thought to go through but here I am. I even got mistaken as one of the city''s kids the other day when I was scouting around my new environment. A local brat Ben asked me what types of shorts I like after bumping into each other for the first time, saying nonsense like I must be a fellow shorties buddy after noticing my kiddy shorts. The guy initially wanted to fight after his speech but after seeing I have nothing on me and the homeless shelter as my residence, he backed off. The thing is, I was pretty annoyed at the time so after he dangled the opportunity to brawl then just to pull it back, I pretty much suckered him square in the gut.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. In hindsight, it was probably due to my stress levels rising of being stuck in an unfamiliar place and an unfamiliar body with hormones rushing through it, that I pulled the first punch but that little fucker didn''t have to kick me in the balls for it so I slogged him another one in the jaw. He elbowed me in the stomach, I kicked his shin as hard as I could. He gave me a black eye and I gave him puffy cheeks and lips. We traded punch for punch, kicks for kicks and headbutts for headbutts. In the end, the fight degraded to a contest of who can pull the other''s cheeks the hardest and who can spit the most. I won of course when Ben collapsed from exhaustion. In a dim alleyway of Pewter, illuminated by the setting sun the two of us were on our backs huffing for air. It was then after Ben caught his breath and spoke that I had my faced my second revelation. "Uu bruut! Hu wud evan hit de ahder pason in a pokiman hatul!? (You brute! Who would even hit the other person in a pokemon battle!?)" squeezed out Ben in between huffs and his swollen mouth. "O wha? (A what?)" I replied with similar huffs and a limp tongue tired from rapid-fire spitting. "Hokinon metul! Ae huul didwee uu tainas or ticori ava ze udda! (Pokemon battle! A duel between two trainers for victory over the other!)" Seeing how vigorously his spit was flying through his mouth as he spoke, Ben was probably agitated. "Den ee wun den! (Then I won then!)" I replied with my nose pointed towards the sky as high as it ever had. "WIDFF DER POCCEMUN! (WITH THEIR POKEMON!)" Came back a strong retort from the sore loser Ben. "Ah wun ish till a won, weit... Loocoman er ree? (A win is still a win, wait... Pokemon are real?)" Ben who laid nearby suddenly lifted his head off the ground to stare at me with wide eyes like I''m the world''s most special retard. "... Av yuo bin levn unda a wock ure inda lyf? (... Have you been living under a rock your entire life?)" His gaze was saying that he found a special wonder of the world in front of him, a very special one. "Ell ie huthues nenores ov dis orld es ensyd e ave muth a fee mays ogo oh eyd aa ets moes (Well my furthest memories of this world was inside a cave mouth a few days ago so I''d say it''s close enough)" With the reality I ran away from in the past few days smacked right onto my face, I couldn''t be stuffed to retort to his gaze. Whenever I saw those creatures on the streets I always told myself it wasn''t possible, that I was in a long coma dream or drugged up in a hallucination beyond saving, that I was in some futuristic VR machine or had unknowingly equipped some advanced AR with some bizarre body modifications. After that day''s energetic venting session, letting out the anxiety, frustrations and doubts that had bottled up inside I decidedly to give in to resignation after hearing the words directly from the resident of the world itself. And thus came my second discovery. ''Fuck it, I''m in the world of pokemon.'' Whether it was some elaborate conspiracy or an accidental slip between worlds, I made up my mind to go with the flow. Thinking about it isn''t something that can help me at this stage, in fact, what could I even do if I found out the purpose behind my arrival in this world. Rather than that... "eh heh heh heh... Hah ha ha ha... HAHAHAHA!" My abrupt laughter that broke the silence surprised the boy with the swollen face upright, wondering if I was hit in the head too many times but I didn''t give a damn, because I can follow my delusional childhood dreams to the limit here. Since I am here I might as well explore the whole world I''ve been doing behind glass screens. Hell, I might get their autographs along the way, you know them. I sat up with the biggest smile on my panda face. "Haha, ho, ha. Sorry about that. And for suddenly punching you. Oh, my head feels so clear now. Ah, feels great! I''m Vincent." My tongue with replenished liquids and my hand out toward the boy next to me, he gazed my offer to shake hands apprehensively but eventually took it anyway. "Ben, Youngster Ben is my trainer name." A smile mirrored my own grew on him as we shook hands, he probably got as much fun out of the fight as I did. After we picked ourselves up, limped side by side with bruised arms around each other and headed towards the homeless shelter we got chewed out by the pink-haired nurse. With that my first week in the world of pokemon in hospitalisation. --- Route 4''s Entrance of Mt Moon In the dark dreary cave, a small shadow can be seen shuffling between stalagmites, puddles and legs of the many creatures that inhabit the cavern. From time to time the shadow''s silhouette changes to similar shapes of its surrounding terrain: spherical near boulders, conical near upwards stone spikes and even sometimes match the nearby fauna but never stopping in its journey onwards. As the shape-changing approaches towards the end of its goal, the light-filled exit of the tunnel, its body being graduallyexposed to the visible out world. After jiggling its small gelatine body in celebration, it spots a sprawling collection of structures beyond the rocky terrain in the horizon and decides that''s its next destination. 2 - Theres a densely populated minefield called Plot Id rather not dive into Kanto Region, Pewter City Pokemon Centers, or PokeCenters for short, is a staple governmental facility for every town and city in the Pokemon World. Providingmedical treatment and rest to both Trainers and Pokemon tired from their journeys free of charge, these sanctuaries of healing operated by the widely-respected Joy Household are a crucial aspect to any Pokemon Masters in the making. The iconicangels of care, Nurse Joys, stationed in every Center are working tirelessly without restuntil everypokemon are the very picture of perfect health. Indeed, due to its popularity among Trainers for its and professional nurses services, PokeCenters are always lively no matter where they are. It is rare, but those ignorant of the world or unlearned of Pokemon Centers may mistake these buildings as a refuge for those without homes as trainers often neglect their personal hygiene and appearance during their travels, resulting in the unaware often offending trainers and Center staff alike. Don''t be like those people good boys and girls. Here in Pewter''s very own PokeCenter, signs of liveliness can already be seen as early as in the new dawn''s first light. Sandwiched between the room''s window wall and a hospitable bed, a crouching young boy with a face full of sweat was huffing for breath. Behind his brown bangs his gaze scans the destruction mess of the former ward, remaining sharp and alert for his opponent''s movements. "That cheater, who the hell uses a Rattata in a battle between men. Water under the bridge my ass, he clearly still holds a grudge over that." Mutters of curses trails from his lips until the bedsheetat the furthest aisle lift with an unnaturalbreeze. This did not escape the boy''s sight but only serves to heighten his caution instead. Scrutinising the far away bed, he hears a soft pitter-patter in that direction. "Bastard, trying to lure me over there. I see what you''re trying to pull, but I won''t fall for that. In fact, you gave away your position in the only other availablehiding spot." Feeling confident in his deduction he directs his eyes to the bed curtain that was left strangely half draped. The room he was inused to be a standard hospital ward for patients until the conflict took place, transforming the place into a warzone slowly being stripped of any cover. Only threeremained with the boy''s bed propped up on its side, the double stacked bed on the opposite end of the room on the left and to its right, the suspiciously slightly drawn curtain providing enough cover for a standing adult. ''Both cheaters aiming for a pincer huh...'' He has his left and right covered right now by his opponents but that did not matter. He only needed to go after the trainer to win. ''Just one hit, I just need to get in one shot.'' Looking at his ammunition pile next to him he despairs over his sore lack of projectiles, his last one is currently in his grips. Should he try a blitz? But that was a high-risk high reward strategy, with large chances of things going sour. It was after all two against one. ''Dammit, it''s all or nothing!'' After a few seconds of hesitation, he gathers his resolve to risk it all. His pride won''t allow him to surrender normiss the opportunity to win one over his foe. Dashing out around his cover and past the piles of wrinkled mattresses and bedsheets, he sprints across the room in an instant. "The one behind the bed must be that rat, so theshorts maniac must behind here!" Spinning on his heel, he did a sharp right turn and yanks the curtains down to make way for his shot. However what greets him was something else... "Rah?" "The hell?" A purple rodent with big teeth was holding a pillow menacingly over its head. The surprise against his expectations left the boy momentarily vulnerable. "Good job Ratty! Do it!" Another boy of similar age with short hair rushes out behind the double layered bed who was also holding a pillow launches it straight into the frozen boy, the purple creature similarlyhurls it towards his opponent. "Shit, you cheaters!" With no way of blocking the attack on both sides, he swerves the pillow in his grip around in a circle hoping to deflect both incoming projectiles. But alas he was struck on his back with a powerful thump, pushing theair out of him, sending him bending over and knees buckling in defeat. "Yay! We won Ratty. Hi-five!" "Rah! Tattah!" The duo jumps around in celebration while the brown haired boy catches his breath. "That''s bullshit and unfair! How could you use your pokemon in a pillow fight!"The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. "What are you talking about, a Pokemon Trainer always fights together with his Pokemon. Whether through defeat or victory, Ratty and I will always stand side by side!" "Ra!" "Unfair is still unfair! You''re justsalty I can throw a better punch better than you. Come on, you and me one v one right here." Seeing the grumpy expression still on the boy sitting on the floor, the short-haired boy picks up hiscap after it was knocked off and scattered by the gunfire and replies. "Wah, don''t do that!I''m hospitalised in the first place because of your punches bruising me all over. If you''re stilled unsatisfied in the first place then go catch a pokemon and we can have a rematch. Here, let me help you out a bit." Grabbing his bag tucked in the corner to any fire, the cap-wearing boy pulls a red andwhite sphere separated by a black lineand a button. Gazing at the hand holding the ball the brown-haired boy remains silent. "Fufufu no need to thank me, Vin. Just make sure you catch a really awesome pokemon with that." "Can it at least be an ultra?" "You wastrel! How big do you think my allowance is! I even had to save up two month''s worth to get Ratty''s Pokeball." "It''s not that much, I''m not even asking for a master." "A Master!? Why don''t you just go rob Silph Co.!?" "Actually someone will do that eventua-" At this moment the door to the room opens and a pink-haired lady in white uniform pokes her head inside. "Have you boys seen any of the potions stock? I looked everywhere and asked around but- !?" "Ah, it''s Nurse Joy!" "Geh, it''s the witch!" Looking at the devastated room her words got caught in her throat, after the initial shock she then spoke her following words each slowly and very carefully. "What, happened, to, this, room, ?" "It was his fault!" "It was his idea!" "Rah!" "I asked once will do again: What, Happened, Here?" Though the question stayed the same, there was now an underlying chill behind the words that cause the two boys and one critter to break out in sweat. "We had a pillow fight..." The cap-wearing boy with a guiltyconscious decides to be honest. "He let out his Rattata and it knocked over everything!" The brown-haired boy with no shame shoves the blame aside instantly. "Tah!? Ratta!" The Rattata feels accused and proclaims innocence. "Hoh? A simple pillow fight manages to put dents in the ceilings and walls?" The nurse continues to interrogate the three with her inquisitive glare. The scene behind the trio came out of a painting from hell. "We may or may not have used the Center''s potion stock and stuffed them in the pillows..." The capped-boy continues his confession. "We just so happened to find some potions the Rattata must have stolen, so we put them to good use." The brown-haired continues his web of lies. "Tattah! Rah!" The Rattata demands to speak with its lawyer. "You...Three...Did...What!?"The stern face crumples into the expression of a furious demon. "We''re very s-sorry! We were j-just, feeling s-stuffy after, d-days of not moving around, and and..." The boy in a cap is now the boy in tears. "Y''know, we''ve long since recovered and there''s no need to keep us in hospital. What''s wrong with stretching your legs a bit and testing the potion''s manufacture of quality at the same time. It benefits us and everyone else, win-win! As for the walls...I''d say part of the fault laid with you trapping us, oh and also the Rattata." The brown-haired boy''s shamelessness reaches no limits! "Rah! Rah Rah Tah!" The Rattata accuses the system of corruption and questions if there''s any justice in left this world. "YOU MONGRELS THREW LIFE-SAVING MEDICINES AGAINST THE WALLS TO HIT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR SILLY GAMES!?" With each word the three had spoken, her face twists more and more. The rage meter of the once-kind-and-caring-nurse is hitting maximum capacity and beyond. "Uwaaaah!" The tearful boy loses control behind the dam in his eyes and in his bladder. "Eww, gross man. Go tighten that leak. They only hit the walls because the other two was too quick, so they''re mostly to blame. Theferal rat I understand but damn... I guess the shorts do make a difference." Seemingly unaware of his impending doom, the fearless boy sidestepping the puddle muses about the aerodynamics of comfy shorts and considers switching his own. "Rattata! Tatta! Rah!" Rattata says he will see everyone in hell. "CHANSEY! KANGASKAN! PIGEOT! Please help me escort these-" Just as the angry nurse was calling out her helpers to deal with three troublemakers, a sudden deafening roar shook the whole area. KAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! "There was an explosion near the healing ward!" "There''s injured people here!" "Pokemon! What happened to the recovering pokemon!?" "Is anyone without their pokemon?" "What about potions? Are the potions safe?" Numerous cries of unrest and panic continue to overlap each other, making it difficult forthose present to get a clear grasp of events. The people scrambling in confusion on the lower floors was in a stark contrast to the brown-haired boy''s composure as if he had assumed these events were going to occur.Kicking and jiggling the nearby pillowcase stuffed in potions at his feet he turned to his fellow partners in crime. "See, like I said. Win-win. Now let''s book it!" Jolting the other boy and his little bucktoothed friend out of their muddled daze, the two boys and one rodent went ahead to dash across town leaving behind the fuming nurse. --- As the morning crowd around the formerly lively Pokemon Center continues to thicken, three figures can be seen overlooking the incident in the shadow of an alleyway opposite side of the road to the smoking building. Their details are fuzzy at best, with only their silhouette outlines depicting them to be 3 humanoid figures, one with a mushroom head and the other hada head with a large curl. The third member in the shadows, however, appeared to be at knee height with whiskers and triangular ears coming from its oval head. After observing the situation for another minute, they had enough confirmation that the mission was a success and retreated into darker shadows as if they were never there in the first place. Meanwhile, on the front face of the ruined building, a young boy with black hair wearing red was sighing about his current dilemma. "Haa... Poli and Saur can''t heal up and all I have is this Pikachu..."