《The Kitty Litter (LitRPG)》 Birth Of The Poop Golem (Chapter 1) Somewhere in the depths of a thicket filled with strange plants and stranger animals laid an innocent cottage. Built with smooth white wood and with little glass windows, the building was only the size of a large room and shaped somewhat like a mushroom. It was painted to look like a toadstool as well. The door of the home opened, revealing a little kitten. The little creature exited as he closed the door, taking a deep breath. "Ahhh!" it sighed in contentment. Indeed, the outdoors was the best! The curious feline wondered why his long eared buddy would spend all day making strange contraptions at home. That was so boring! Going out to adventure was much more fun. Patter patter... The sound of a butterfly''s wings was heard by the attentive kitten. He turned his head, noticing a shimmer of colours before him. It was a huge butterfly! "Meeoooow! Pretty!" The cat pranced and hopped toward the butterfly, trying to catch it with all his might. The butterfly was quick to dodge however. Despite its quick reflexes, the butterfly was terrified. Who knew if it would slip up all over a sudden and be caught? It was then when the butterfly''s keen sense of smell found the scent of catnip flowers. There! The butterfly flew above the catnip plant. Finally, the menace was distracted. The kitten drooled at the sight of the exquisite plant, the butterfly long forgotten, much to the insect''s delight. Crunching and munching sounds soon followed. Honestly, the butterfly could have just flown upwards to the sky and saved itself a lot of trouble, but it didn''t think of that. "MEERRROWWW!" The kitten meowed loudly, scaring the fleeing butterfly. There it was, the high he craved! Kaleidoscopes of colours and strange illusions dotted the vision of the kitty. Strange creatures seemed to materialise out of thin air, a huge rainbow butterfly and a bird shimmering with colours! The non-existent delusions flew away from the feline with high speed, almost as if taunting the kitty to pounce. Well, from his point of view at least. The kitten chased the illusory creatures all the way back home, smashing into the door and drooling as he rolled around on the ground. The door creaked open seconds after the crash. "Yowi! Why chu ish eat catnip again?" The bunny who had opened the door was displeased to see her friend on drugs yet again. It wasn''t a serious problem if she were to be honest, as catnip didn''t actually do any bad. But it was annoying to clean up all the drool and scratches from the aftermath! The bunny almost considered leaving the kitten outside the house until the high wore off, but she didn''t want her friend to be eaten by a prowling predator in his current state. "Yerrroooooww! Pooop!" Yowi screeched as he charged into the house and started rolling along the ground like a super-charged hamster wheel. Yep, too high on catnip. The bunny sighed as she headed back into her room. The comment was not baseless however. Yowi had a terrible stomach ache, probably from something he accidently ate along with the catnip. He rushed to the bathroom, crashing into the door hard enough to jar it open and rolling right onto the ''toilet''. "Mrrrreeooow!"Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! A massive dump of diarrhoea splattered the uncleaned cat litter. The kitten sighed in relief and jumped off, rubbing his tummy in discomfort. He then slumped on the floor in a pile. Then something odd happened. A blue spark appeared in mid air, flying into the litter. The waste glowed blue for a second, then all of it shot into the air, swirling as it formed a vaguely humanoid shape with two eyes and a mouth. "Whooaa! Yowi eat tuu mach catnip!" Yowi jumped in surprise, staring at the creature curiously. ~~~~~ As the creature gained consciousness, it stared in surprise at the panel before it.
Welcome User! You are a:
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Unnamed
Level 0
Species Cat Dung Golem (Pet)
Gender None
Age 0 seconds
HP 20
MP 20
Name Value
STR 2
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 5
DEF 5
INT 90
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
Thedung pile wasn''t interested in whatever the heck that was. Conveniently, the table disappeared the moment it got annoyed. With it''s unusual eyes, it saw a kitten, somehowknowinginstinctively that Yowi was it''s master. Master... Serve. "My lord and creator, what is my purpose in life?" In most situations, Yowi would have been in shock, screeching as he ran away from the smelly thing. Drugged Yowi was different however, slurring oddly. "Chu waz kitty litter. Chur purpose ish to make kitties feel better!" "How would I make you feel better then?" The drugged kitten considered the question seriously. "Yowi ish not sure. Chu can''t handle food, chu smells funny, and Yowi dun wanna be petted by chu..." "But my lord! Myexistence is to serve!" The golem seemed very distraught at the lack of orders. Yowi pitied the poor thing and gave it the task best suited for it. "Chu can clean da litter box!" "Yes! I could!" Please to finally have meaning in life, the golem took station beside the litter box, looking exactly like a statue made out of poop. The bunny opened the door at this very moment, entering to check the cause of the commotion. Then she saw the shitty statue and screamed. "AHHHHHHHH!" WhywouldYowi make such a horrifying thing? Poopy To The Rescue (Chapter 2) "AHHHHHHHH!" The bunny grabbed a hose attached to one of the walls and pointed it towards the golem as she screamed. Out of the hose shot a concentrated jet of water, hitting the pile of dung with pinpoint accuracy.
You have hit by a powerful jet of water. -5 HP.
Due to it''s literally shitty composition, the water caused the golem to melt into a puddle of poopy goop. "Mreow! Wha haz chu dun to Poopy?" Drugged Yowi panicked at the sight of his smelly friend "dying", collapsing onto the floor in a pile.
You have been named Poopy by your owner.
Poopy felt really annoyed as it collapsed, why did this blue panel keep popping up? It kept ruining the mood with it''s interruptions! "Yowi, I guing to stap yur catnip addiction! Nu mor catnip forever!" "Nooooooo! Yue bad fren!" Yowi cried as he rolled on the ground, how was he going to survive without catnip? Yue ignored the "drunken" pleas of her friend, she had enough of his catnip episodes, the poop statue driving her pass her threshold. She pulled Yowi out of the room, preparing to place him back in bed until he recovered. Meanwhile, the murky puddle on the ground rippled as it struggled in panic. Poopy felt terrified at the loss of its limbs, how was it going tofollow the commandsof its master now? Master was going to be so disappointed!
You have the requirements to learn the skill Poop Control. Learn it?
Yes No
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.Whatever! Poopy didn''t know what exactly the skill did, but it might just help in this situation!
Poop Control Info: Your innate talent allows you to control poop. Effect: Enables user to control poop for a small amount of mana. The user can also change its shape, shifting into the desired form for a larger mana cost.
As Poopy had hoped, the skill was of use. The golem found to its surprise that it could shift it''s body back into it''s humanoid form with ease.
You have shifted into your default form. -5 MP.
Poopy felt ecstatic, it wasn''t going to be stuck as a puddle, unable to do Yowi''s bidding! The water had mostly drained from the golem while it transformed, so the golem didn''t collapse back immediately after the shifting. Poopy was still wet, but that was better than nothing, right? The servant glanced around the room, finding to its horror that its master was missing. Wait, maybe its master left it on purpose so it was supposed to keep waiting? Poopy thought back and tried to recall what had happened. First a scream from someone it didn''t know, then it got shot down into a puddle. Then Poopy recalled Yowi shouting "Nooooooo!" before departing from the room, meaning that its master for dragged out of the room against his will, likely kidnapped! In panic, Poopy charged out of the room, ready to take down its foe and save its master! The golem charged out of the bathroom, doing its best imitation of a roar in anger. I tell you, it sounded exactly like a good flushing when the silly little turd roared. Just imagine this, our brave hero Poopy charges into battle, roaring like the flush of a toilet! Yes, an awe inspiring hero indeed. ------- Yue tucked the struggling Yowi in his bed, tying him down with ropes. The ropes were specially prepared for when the kitten got too intoxicated. Yue sighed, did she always have to tie him down when he got out of control? "FWOOOLUUSSSH!" The loud sound of water getting sucked down a pipe interrupted her thoughts. What the heck was that? Yue was about to investigate when the door slammed opened in a violent fashion. "AHHHHHHH!" Yue screamed in terror as she saw and smelled the horrific monster before her. Well, mostly smelled to be accurate. The pungent scent of the golem had only gotten worse after the soak in water. Yue ran and hid under the bed and cowered, hoping the poogeyman would soon leave. Unfortunately, the pile of dung got enraged the moment it saw its master screaming and yowling, trying to get his limbs out of the constraints. "How dare you capture my master! I will destroy you!" "Ples no hurt me! Yue gud bunny!" Yue plead as she continued to hide. What the heck was the monster talking about? "You dare lie with the evidence before my eyes? Die!" Poopy reached out its arms, prepared to shower Yue with a pile of shit. Admittedly it wasn''t that threatening, but you wouldn''t like to be spattered with dung, would you? Waste Disposal (Chapter 3)
You have used 10% of your body mass as projectiles. -2 Max HP, -1 MP.
Twin jets of poo shot out of the golem''s palms, aimed at Yue. The bunny screamed in terror, but didn''t fail to evade the attack, rolling out from under the bed. "Why chu attak Yue? Yue do nuthin!" "You think my attacks do nothing? I''ll show you!" Clearly, Poopy had misunderstood what the bunny was saying, getting more enraged as a result. Kidnapping its master and insulting it? Truly unforgivable!
You have used 11% of your body mass as projectiles. -2 Max HP, -1 MP.
More dung flew towards Yue, but she managed to dodge again. Yue was a fast bunny with high agility, being able to evade the attacks with ease. However, if this kept up, the floor would be covered in the smelly stuff and she would have nowhere to hide! Yue prayed for help, she didn''t want to be abused by this scary monster, what did she do to deserve this? Her prayer was answered, somewhat. Catnip wasn''t a long lasting drug, so the effects on Yowi wore in around ten minutes, meaning that no deities actually did anything to help. "Mrrreeoww... Wat hapen?" Yowi was a little dizzy after getting sober, but shot up the moment he heard the screams of Yue. Because of the effects of the drug, it didn''t remember any of the events that just happened. It looked around the room, only to see a smelly pile of dung fire jets of it''s composition at poor innocent Yue. "Stalp tat chu munster!" Yowi slid out of the ropes as he shouted. You might be wondering why Yowi didn''t manage do so when he was intoxicated. Well, the answer is simple. Yowi was so "drunk", all his reflexes failed him and left him struggling under the ropes. "But master, it kidnapped you!" Yowi didn''t know why the disgusting creature thought of him as its master, but he felt particularly spiteful after he realised his room was spattered with dung all over the table, chair and walls, evidently the monster''s fault.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it "Yowi chur master? Hah! Nu one wun tu own yu, git los!"
You have been released by your master. You are no longer a pet.
"But... Master, why?" Poopy collapsed on the ground in a pile, rivets of diarrhoea flowing out of its eyes. Why did its master abandon it, Poopy didn''t do anything wrong! "Since wen is Yowi chur masta? Go away ugli!" However its master despised the golem, Poopy understood commands. It wasn''t a pleasant command, essentially its master abandoning it, but the purpose of the golem was to follow. Poopy tried to get over its sadness and act strong. "I... I understand." Before the golem left the room, it used Poop Control to absorb the mess it made.
You have absorbed your element, making you bigger and stronger! +26% Body Mass +4 Max HP
Poopy wasn''t that dumb. It could understand that the "kidnapper" was actually a friend of it''s master, and that was why he got angry. The "kidnapper" didn''t like the poop it was made of, so re-absorbing the ammo would be the best it could do to please Yowi. Poopy swore it would get vengeance someday. Its master simply didn''t realise that his friend was actually a terrible "kidnapper" and Yowi would surely get hurt if it''s master continued to stay with Yue! The golem trudged out of the room, and out of the house, feeling extremely depressed. Poor Poopy could only wallow in it''s sorrow, sobbing at the unfairness of the situation as it slouched on the grass. Before it knew it, Poopy had fallen asleep. ..... Something tickled.
A parasitic plant has taken root on you! Plant species: Truffle Grass +1 DEF -1 Max HP -10% Body Mass
Horrendous! First, Poopy got abandoned, and now funny things had to grow on it! The golem found to it''s horror that brown strands of grass covered with blackish bumps now covered it''s entire body. Poopy tried to morph out of the grass, but found to its horror that the roots of the plants were rooted too deeply in it for it to change it''s form.
Your shifting is ineffective. -1 MP.
Not only that, the golem felt a terrible sensation. It was hunger! Don''t ask me why, I too have no idea how a poop golem without a stomach could even get hungry. Poopy didn''t know how to resolve any of it''s discomforts but decided to trudge aimlessly toward a random direction. As the monster trudged, a few animals saw it and ran. Well, at the very least, we could say our protagonist could inspire fear in anyone with its might! I think that would be the only way we could even make Poopy sound remotely awe inspiring. And all of a sudden, the golem smelled something heavenly, heavenly enough to make it forget its hunger and itch! Poopy ran towards the source of the smell, wanting to get closer to it. And before Poopy laid... A pile of dog shit. Yes, that was it''s definition of a heavenly smell. Poopy The Terror (Chapter 4) There it sat, looking as inviting as ambrosia of the gods. Poopy reached its arms out to grasp the pile of dung, then attempted to absorb it.
The Truffle Grass renders your efforts ineffective. -1 MP.
Drats! Was it just going to starve to death like that? Poopy opened its mouth to shout in frustration, sounding like yet another flush of a toilet. Then it realised something. The grass only grew outside of it, so the golem could shove the dung down its throat instead!
You have absorbed your element, making you bigger and stronger! +67% Body Mass
Poopy''s hunger faded right away, but it wasn''t from the taste. I could have spent an entire paragraph describing how delicious the golem found the dung, but I think that might ruin your appetite. Poopy jumped in joy, glad that the sensation of hunger was now gone.
Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 1! +12 Stat points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP.
Wait, what was the panel talking about? Poopy didn''t understand, but decided to ignore the panel for now. With its hunger resolved, poopy wanted to get rid of the plants that grew on it. However, Poopy was unsure of what to do and could only continue to wander to search for more tasty dung. Unfortunately, none was found after an hour. You might think dung would be found all over the place in a forest, but plants in this forest grew unnaturally fast and absorbed them quickly, even growing on Poopy. Angered, the golem stomped on a mushroom on the grass in fustration. Oddly fitting of Poopy''s stomp, footsteps sounded out all of a sudden, followed by a shout. "Look! A rare monster!" Two kids ran over towards the golem, swinging little swords in excitement as they ran over. Rare monsters were monsters that did not usually appear in the set location. Killing them would yield huge amounts of experience, easily allow people to advance many levels and even having a slight chance to learn skills from the monster! Most of the time, rare monsters were very powerful and to be feared, but this was a newbie area with only weak monsters! Not to mention, the grass covered golem the size of a kitten didn''t look too threatening. Well, technically, Poopy wasn''t a rare monster, but a unique monster. The kids would be in more of a frenzy if they knew, but unique monsters were usually country destroying dragons and such, so the notion wasn''t even considered. "Wait, we need to share the experience! Each of us takes turns to hit it, okay?" "No! It''s my turn to kill the monster this time!" While the kids argued over how the golem''s experience should be split, Poopy got offended hearing about their plans to mercilessly cut it down. "What is wrong with you people? I come along for a walk and the next thing I know, you bunch of weirdos want to kill me for no reason!" The children froze, hearing the monster talk. Breaking the ice, Charles decided to speak up. "Bah, who cares if it can talk! I say we kill it anyway for the experience!" The vicious kid glanced behind himself, hoping to garner support, but realised to his dismay that his buddy was hesitant.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. "But Charles, the monster can think and speak! I don''t think it''s right to kill it just for the sake of leveling up!" Edward spoke up timidly as he looked towards his feet in shame. He felt guilty all of a sudden for hunting those little monsters with Charles. Was there a chance that they too were able to think but unable to speak unlike the golem? "Hah, you''re an idiot Edward. Who care if it can think, it''s free experience!" "But-" "No excuses Edward, you kill, or you aren''t my friend anymore!" "I.. I..." Ignoring his friend''s plight, Charles swung his sword towards the tiny golem but tripped over a rock and fell on his face, certainly an effective way to start a fight. Poopy took the chance and activated its "secret art" in defence, pointing both of its arms at Charles.
The Truffle Grass renders your efforts ineffective. -1 MP.
Poopy was enraged, did this stupid grass have to always stop it from doing anything? Poopy decided to run forward and punch Charles instead.
You have punched your target. Target HP -1. Your Strength has been exercised. +1 STR. You have learnt Basic Barehanded Combat. +1 DMG when attacking the foe barehanded.
Due to the squishiness of the golem, some of the dung squirted out beneath the grass and spattered across Charles''s shirt. "Ewwww! What the heck is this brown goop?" Charles reeled at the disgusting sensation and smell. He reached out a hand to wipe it off instinctively, only to have the dung get stuck to his hand as well. Poopy took the chance to throw another punch, making more of the gross substance stick onto Charles. "Ahhh!" Charles couldn''t take it anymore and ran, not wanting to deal with the unusual monster, especially after realising the substance that stuck to him smelled and felt identical to poop. Edward decided to follow as well, tagging along with his friend.
Achievement unlocked: Terror Requirements: Scare away a foe at least ten levels higher than you in combat. Rewards: +10 STR.
Poopy had a feeling that the feat was not supposed to be earned in this manner. Regardless, Poopy learnt one thing after the fight. It''s body was made of something that scared it''s foes a lot. First with the bunny, and now with the human. Perhaps it could use this to it''s advantage in battle? Not to mention, the golem felt a lot stronger all of a sudden. It could now move it''s limbs at much higher speeds and run faster. Was that how the attributes worked? Poopy had a sudden desire to know it''s exact strength right now.
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 1
Species Cat Dung Golem
Gender None
Age 1 Day
HP 30/30
MP 29/30
Name Value
STR 13
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 5
DEF 5
INT 90
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
PC 1 50%
BBC 1 0%
The Chicken Drumstick Demon (Chapter 5)
You have entered [Unnamed] - Lv5 Newbie Dungeon
The golem entered a small dark cave, eyeing the walls warily. Now, you might be wondering; what was Poopy doing in a dark and musky cave? Well it turns out, it was attracted by the odd stench coming from the depths of the dungeon. The smell reminded it of dung but a little different, and Poopy sure as heck wanted to munch on more of that. The tunnel was very dark, but the golem now had a new parasite on it, Luminous Mushrooms. That was also part of the reason why Poopy was hankering for more in such a short time, the plants and fungi that coated it were literally sucking the life out of it! The natural corridor led into a larger space, and there were bats everywhere on the ceiling. White guano coated the the floor of the cave, and it was heaven to the shrinking golem.
You have absorbed your element, making you bigger and stronger! +200% Body Mass. Your optimal mass has been restored, your Max HP is back to 30 HP. Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 2! +12 Stat Points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP.
Two hundred percent might have sounded like a lot, but Poopy had shrunk to a third of it''s size from all the the horrors that stuck onto it. Poopy really wished there was some way to get rid of them. The bats noticed the golem, but none of them wanted to attack something that smelled like that. Poopy felt very satisfied as it prepared to leave, heading down the passage beside it. As the golem walked down the path, it saw a different looking room with an odd figure unclear in the darkness. Oops, that was the wrong way. The dung monster was prepared to leave, when suddenly, a whiff of a unique fragrance caught it''s attention. Wait, what was that? It tried it''s best to get another whiff of the smell, but the scent was long gone. It was about this time when the figure rose, strutting towards Poopy in an odd manner. Now, don''t misunderstand; the monster was not being arrogant, but that was the best walk to describe how it "walked" due to it''s odd body. The creature now right before the golem, it''s bizarre appearance was revealed from the light of the mushrooms.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. It looked like a bone pole with two giant chicken drumsticks shaped limbs attached on each end of the pole bulb first. The limbs had no skin, instead showing bulging and pulsing muscles. The ends were bones, but with three bumps on the ends instead of two. Not only that, there were was a huge eye on each of the "drumsticks", serving to make the creature look even odder. A mouth of sorts hung from the centre of the "pole" as well, making the entire monster look like an odd face of sorts. Oh, ok. Poopy wasn''t born for long and didn''t know many things, but it was born with a "weirdness detector" (kudos to Xenon) like most "people". And that thing was WEIRD as heck. Still, the golem had to find whatever made that heavenly smell. It was like the smell of the most exquisite and finest of wines to Poopy. The monster attempted to roar, but made the sound of a faulty recorder (the musical instrument) instead. What did you expect? It only had a tube linked to it''s mouth after all.
Drumstick Abomination has failed to cast Intimidation on you!
What! That sound was supposed to be scary? If anything, it was only a very irritating sound. Heck, Poopy was even more irritated than the sound alone would have made it; the monster expected it to run from the sound of that? The golem decided it needed to teach that upstart demon it''s lesson trying to scare it!
The Truffle Grass renders your efforts ineffective. -1 MP.
Dang it, Poopy really wanted to get rid of the parasites on it! They always had to stop it from launching "the projectiles of fear" at it''s opponents. It might have been a good thing that the spell failed however; the attack would serve of no use to the creature before it. Dungeon monsters don''t have the capacity to feel fear or disgust unless programmed to. Not that demons were afraid of dung in the first place.
You have been punched by your target. -10 HP.
Abort, abort! That thing was far too strong for Poopy to handle at the moment. How strong was that thing anyway?
Drumstick Abomination LVL: 10 HP: 500 MP: 100 EXP upon kill: 500 Drops: ??? Skill is too low levelled to excess more info. You have unlocked the skill Scan!
Oh, that would have been nice to know before the fight started. It would have saved a lot of trouble. The poor creature ran out of the cave huffing and puffing, plopping into a heap next to the entrance of the cave. Don''t ask me why it had lungs, I myself am not too sure. The Power Of Stats (Chapter 6) Damn it! How was it going to get to the fragrance now? Poopy was enraged, wishing it was stronger. If only there was some way to power up! It might sound dumb for Poopy to be so obsessed just over a short whiff of the scent, but for some reason, the golem could not get the thought out of it''s mind. The scent was like the best of fine wines, fermented to perfection and with the best ingredients! Poopy was convinced that it would regret it''s decision if it decided to leave whatever that was behind.
Would you like to download Tutorial Guide? Addition System AI Input: This will teach you how to attain power.
Yes No
Perfect! Poopy couldn''t help but praise the box for how helpful it was while hitting yes.
Additional System AI Input: I thank you for your compliments! New guide added: Tutorial Guide TG: Hello! You seem to be rather lost! I will now explain to you how to get stronger. You might have realised by now that levelling up gives you more HP and MP. Don''t worry if you don''t understand what the acronyms mean, I will explain them all you to you. HP and MP mean ''Health'' and ''Mana'' respectively. You die when you run out of health, and you need mana to cast spells. Try thinkingInfo Barsright now!
Info Bars! Poopy complied.
HP: 30/40 MP: 39/40
That was certain very useful to avoid dying. But how does this helpme stronger?Poopy thought.
TG: It''s simple! Remember those 24 stats points you got from levelling up? You can use them to improve your power! Upgrading STR will make you stronger and increase your health, upgrading MAG will make your magical attacks stronger and increase your mana capacity, upgrading DEX will make you able to control your body better, upgrading AGI will make your body able to move faster, upgrading DEF will make your body take less damage from enemy attacks and lastly, upgrading INT will make you smarter and increase your magical damage (Note that with every point of INT, it is less effective in making you smarter)! You can allocate stat points by thinkingStat Points. Well that about covers the basics.I think you don''t need my help anymore now, do you?I''ll be offline then!
The wall of text might seem like it would take quite a while to read, but with the help of DG, Poopy was able absorb all the information in an instant. Was it because the blue box was mentally connected to the golem? Poopy had no idea. With new info about how to use stat points, Poopy decided to look through what options it had.Stat points!
Name Value SP: 24
STR 12 +
MAG 0 +
DEX 10 +
AGI 5 +
DEF 5 +
INT 90 +
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.After alittle thinking, Poopy decided to add all it''s points to STR. You might think that it was a dumb move to not consider other stats. I completely agree with you. But our protagonist here wants to trash thatDrumstick Abominationas soon as possible! It was truly shortsighted. At the very least, two levels worth of stat pointsaren''t that much, right?
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 2
Species Cat Dung Golem
Gender None
Age 1 Day
HP 75
MP 40
Name Value
STR 37
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 5
DEF 5
INT 90
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
PC 1 50%
BBC 1 0%
S 1 0%
That seemed good to the golem. But how was Poopy going to level up more? The golem suddenly recalled that it only levelled up after absorbing enough dung. But where was it going to find more? It sat down to think and realised that since it had a good sense of smell, it could try directly sniffing for poop. It was unfortunate that while trying to sniff at such a distance from the cave, all Poopy could smell was the remains of guano and that unique scent. The golem then decided to walk further away from the cave, hoping that distancing itself would make the smell weaker. The scent became weaker. Poopy praised itself for it''s intellect.
YourIntelligencehas been exercised. +1 INT.
So doing stuff that relates to the stat will improve it?
YourIntelligencehas been exercised. +1 INT.
Poopy took that as a yes and continued to sniff continuously while wandering. Unfortunately, all parts of the earth smelled faintly of dung, since a component of soil was decomposed dung. It was a good thingPoopy quickly realised that it could just follow the places where the scent is the strongest for dung. And as it followed the scent, Poopy found... a goblin. Wait, that isn''t a pile of dung! The golem got confused and sniffed again. It then realised that the scent was coming from the goblin''s butt. Crap, how was it going to get the poop if it''s in the body of the goblin? MaybePoop Control could help?
YourIntelligencehas been exercised. +1 INT.
The Day Of The Hurt Butts (Chapter 7) A horrid scream that carried the pain and agony of it''s bearer rang out in the air. Many other similar equally devastating screams soon echoed along with it as well. One would suspect that a madman must have been torturing innocents, but in truth it was just... Poopy.
Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 5! +12 Stat points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP. Your depleted MP has been restored.
The golem nodded in satisfactions at it''s gain. It now had 36 stat points to spare! It''s Poop Control had reached Lv3 as well, reducing the MP cost by 2. In front of the golem were dozens of fainted goblins. Apparently, Poopy realised it could just extract the dung straight from the bowels of random passer-bys. It was unfortunate that the golem had no idea (or reason to) exercise control, extracting the dung straight from its victims with a single tug of Poop Control. There was still brave goblins who prepared to defend their brethren however. In front of Poopy stood five shuddering goblins that held crude spears. None of them dared to charge, only hoping the the ''torturer'' would be fended off by their bravery. These brave warriors couldn''t let their fragile wives and cute children suffer the same fate! Finally, the menace left, trudging menacingly. The goblins heaved a heavy sigh of relief. "Healers, the monster is gone! Come up and heal the hurt butts of our fallen warriors!" One of remaining warriors shouted in goblin language to the medics hiding in the (crude) huts of their village. Finally, the frightened medics tentatively peeked out of their homes, then ran out to heal their injured friends, worried. It was a dark day in history the goblins would never forget, recorded in their history books as "The Day Of The Hurt Butts". ~~~~~ Haha, a fruitfulharvest indeed! Poopy once again threw all of its points into strength. It was a mystery why TG wasn''t offended enough to show up and reprimand it. Ah well, Poopy will learn eventually, right? (RIIIGGGHHT??)
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 5
Species Cat Dung Golem
Gender None
Age 1 Day
HP 141
MP 73
Name Value
STR 73
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 5
DEF 5
INT 93
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
PC 3 55%
BBC 1 0%
S 1 0%
If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.Satisfied, the golem decided to try sparring with the drumstick monster thing again. The dim-witted creature completely forgot that the opponent was a Lv10, an existence that could crush it with ease! Poopy trudged its way back to the cave while anally abusing any poor creature that came close to it. Soon, it reached the dungeon again.
You have entered [Unnamed] - Lv5 Newbie Dungeon
The golem entered the same space with the hundreds of bats yet again. There wasn''t as much dung this time however, since there wasn''t much time for the poop to accumulate. Poopy quickly absorbed the fresh dung in a second or so. However, it wasn''t satisfied.
You have ripped the dung right out of 24 Lv2 Bats. -72 MP. Your opponent hasbeen defeated. +10 EXP. Your opponent hasbeen defeated. +15 EXP. Your opponent hasbeen heavily injured byan anal rupture. Target HP -25. Your opponent has been... Read More? Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 6! +12 Stat Points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP. Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 7! +12 Stat Points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP.
Poopy was speechless. It could kill the foes withPoop Control too? Poopy knew the spell could do a little damage from the attack on the goblins, but killing?The golem had never thought such an attack could kill! Also, why was it levelling up so much and what is EXP?
TG: When you vanquishthings, you get EXP that will help you level up. So far you''ve been levelling by dung, but you can level up quite quickly by defeating your foes as well!
Poopy was very impressed. Meanwhile, the bats shrieked in anger at thedefeat of their friends. They rushed upon the golem, baring their fangs and hissing ferociously. Under such an attack from hundreds of bats, even most Lv20 people would be torn apart in seconds despite their level. It was said that enough ants could kill an elephant after all. However, Poopy had a huge advantage; it could level up almost instantly with the spamming ofPoop Control, instantly refilling its HP and MP! Soon, around a hundred defeated bats laid on the ground. Their companions had already fled in fear. Truthfully, if the bats had the courage to keep attacking, eventually the usage of all of the golem''s mana at once would not be enough to level it up. Poopy would die then. Thankfully though, the bats were smart enough to flee despite their minimal intellect.
Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 10! +12 Stat Points. +10 Max HP. +10 Max MP. You have hit the level limit for your species and can choose to evolve! New universal skill learnt: Inventory.
Inventory? What did that do? Poopy decided to set that aside for a moment and assigned all of its new 60 points to STR. .... WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YO- ======== INTERMISSION! PLEASE WAIT FOR THE HYSTERIC NARRATOR TO CALM DOWN! ESTIMATED TIME: NEXT CHAPTER Evolution Into A Greater Dung (Chapter 8)
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 10
Species Cat Dung Golem (+)
Gender None
Age 2 Days
HP 251
MP 123
Name Value
STR 133
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 5
DEF 5
INT 93
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
PC 7 7.5%
BBC 1 0%
S 1 0%
I 1 0%
Due to the irresponsible spending of the golem, Poopy''s strength managed to exceed the strength of the average adult man, 100STR (assuming the man is still Lv1 for some reason). Its dexterity and agility were still as horrid as those of a toddler however.
TG: You have hit your level limit! Hit the (+) button beside your species name to evolve!
Complying, the golem hit the button.
You have evolved intoGreater Cat Dung Golem! Your level has been reset to 1. YourStat Pointshave dropped to -100. YourHP has increased by 50. YourMPhas increased by 100. YourMAG has increased by 20.
What!? Poopy felt very wronged. Why did it''s preciousStat Points drop to the negatives?
TG: Don''t worry, this is very normal! It''s a measure set by theSYSTEM to prevent newly evolved creatures from being too powerful at low levels! The negatives points aren''t too bad either. They will allow you to remove points from your stats in exchange for lowering the negatives so that you can reallocate your points later on!
Huh, that seemed useful to Poopy. Wait... NO! YOU AREN''T REALLY DOING THAT, ARE YOU!?!?This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
You have removed 20MAG! ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE DEX. ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE AGI. ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE DEF. You have removed 3INT! ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE INT. You now have -77Stat Points!
It... It really did it. Dammit, is this damn golem never going to get smart? It was really a good thing theSYSTEM did not punish Poopy with a reduction ofINTevery time it does something dumb. The damned golem would definitely have dropped to 0INT if you gave it enough time. Satisfied, Poopy decided it was time to challenge the Drumstick Abominationyet again. It headed down the tunnels merrily, leaving behind many, many defeated bats on where the guano used to lie. It didn''t take long for the long recorder like sound of the abomination''s war-cry to ring out. It had finally spotted Poopy! "I will defeat you this time!" Shouted Poopy bravely as it charged up to punch the monster.
You have punched your target. Target HP -20.
Twenty? Poopy was shocked! Was this all its effort increasing STRamounted to? The monster let out a strange recorder like laughter at the weak attack of its foe. This grass covered thing challenged it yet again?
You have been punched by your target. -29 HP.
Poopy was sent flying by the punch of the monster. Gah, so what if it''s strength was still not enough to get a decent hit? Poopy decided to usePoop Control to torture the monster!
ERROR: SPELL HAS NO TARGET.
Poopy was very confused, why didn''t the attack work? Silly golem. That monster doesn''t even have a digestive track! The golem had mistakenly assumed that all creatures had poop in them. Now that its desperate attack had failed, Poopy was very afraid and decided to run away yet again! The abomination laughed at the running golem, decidingto have some fun this time. The last time, it let Poopy run off to safety since it felt merciful. This time however, the monster was bored of sitting around with nothing to do in the dungeon and wanted to spar! It charged towards the frightened golem, punching it playfully yet again.
You have been punched by your target.-30 HP.
In fear, the golem punched back, but this time the demon blocked with its drumstick arms. The fist of the golem was deflected by the sheer strength of the monster, although the abomination wasn''t even using it''s full strength.
Your attack has been deflected! Target HP -5.
In the end, Poopy had to struggle for quite a while before the creature got bored. ItsHPhad dropped all the way to 195 from all the abuse. The Drumstick monster smirked, its boredom now satiated. The cost was a lot of aching pains all over the poor golem. Poopy sighed in relief as the fearsome foe finally retreated down the tunnel. At the very least, it''s STR was exercised by 1 during the struggle; itsBasic Barehanded Combatskill had managed to reach level two as well. Now that it was safe, the golem trudged down the tunnels yet again, dejected at its failure. Was it so weak that even its opponents had to spare it to let it survive? Suddenly, a deafening screech rang out in the air as Poopy entered the room with the bats lying all over the ground, interrupting its thoughts.
Secret boss Lv30 Bat King has spawned! Spawn criteria met: 1: Death of 100+ bats. 2: 1 min has passed after the first criteria has been met. 3: Someone has to be in theBat Room.
The Secret Boss Of The Dungeon (Chapter 9) The ceiling of the cave shattered right after the screech. Rumble fell from above as the majestic creature landed gracefully on the ground of the cave. Draped in thick greyish fur,with terrifying glowing red eyes and as tall as a man, it was.... THE BAT KING! Okay, I suppose that was rather obvious. Staring at the fiendish creature that brandished its fangs and snarled. Poopy did the first thing its instinct told it to. It fell backwards and played dead, much like any other dumb beast. Meanwhile, the Bat Kingswished his head left and and right, trying to find the intruder. Didn''t the system tell him someone bullied its subjects and he was to destroy the offender? Where was the person or monster? There were only rocks scattered all over ground and a weird pile of crap covered in some kind of grass. And the grass smelled amazing! The Bat Kingbent over and ripped out a portion of the grass, savouring the unique flavour of theTruffle Grass.
Apart of a parasite has been forcefully ripped out of your body! -20 HP. Warning: Only 176 HP left!
"AHHHHH!" Poopy screamed. That hurt like heck! TheBat King hopped backwards, slightly freaked out. It wasn''t everyday grass started screaming the moment someone eats it. In fear, Poopy tried to bolt back into the tunnel where the abomination hid, but the beast gripped the golem with its claws! How could he let such a tasty meal get away? TheBat Kinghad been stuck in the hidden compartment above the ceiling for weeks ever since the dungeon made him into a secret boss. The mana provided was enough to keep him alive, but he was very hungry! If theCOD Community (Council Of Dungeons Community) were to see the actions of this dungeon, they would surely make the unnamed dungeon suffer a hefty fine for SCM Abuse(Self-Created-Monster Abuse)! Faced against such conviction, the golem could only struggle haplessly as the beast ripped off all theTruffle Grass that grew on it.
....The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. The parasitic plant that grows on you has been forcefully removed! -21 HP. CRITICAL CONDITION: Only 67 HP left!
Yum, truly a tasty meal! TheBat Kingthought of himself quite lucky to findTruffle Grass the moment he was let out. He had realised long ago from when he was still allowed toscavenge thatTruffle Grass only grew in soil rich in mana. However, he could only replant the grass a few times on the same spots before the mana ran out. It just happened that this living pile of dung was very rich in mana as well, so the beast decided to plant the seeds he collected earlier while eating and planted them into Poopy. He then summoned a cage of earth and threw the golem in, afraid that it would escape. Phew! Now that that was done, theBat King laughed merrily (it was inhuman and creepy sounding) and flew out in search of more food. Poopy was stuck wallowing in despair. What was it going to do now that it was stuck in a cage? ~~~~~ Elsewhere... "Mom! Me and Edward found a rare monster!" Shouted Charles to his mother as he returned from the forest, drenched. He had jumped into theForest River to wash the dung off himself. "What, a rare monster? Are you sure about that?" The woman sighed as she sat before a table, taking a sip of tea. Looks like Charles was engaged in another ''fantasy roleplay'' of his yet again. Since when could a Lv5-Lv15 area spawn rare monsters? "Yes mother! Look, Igot its entry on the Scan Stone as evidence!" He said, taking a shiny white stone out of his pocket and passing it to his mother.
Entry 25: Unknownmonster Average Level: ? Species: Elemental++? Golem Element: ? Ability Talents: ? Skills: ? Rarity: At leastEpic, possibly aLegendaryorUniquemonster.
"PFFFFTTT!" Charles''s mother spat out her tea. It happen to hit the unsuspecting Edward. "An Epic monster! Oh my god!" She squealed in excitement unbefitting of a middle aged woman. "We need to call theMonster Collector Guild right now!" In excitement, she completely forgot about how she spat a mouthful of hot tea at Edward. She reached out a hand to drag Charles, accidentally knocking the wooden table over and running straight out of the house. The table then crashed on Edward''s feet. "WAAAAAAHHHH!" Poor Edward couldn''t take it anymore. First, he was called an idiot by Charles and ignored like a third wheel . That was fine. Edward was used to it. But now he washitin the face with hot tea andsmashed in the foot! He held back his trump card for so long in forgiveness, but now he reached his treshold and will take revenge! "I will tell my mom!" Trio Heroes (Chapter 10) "WHAAAT?!" A burly man slammed his fists onto his table as he heard the report. The mahogany vibrated for a good ten seconds, an astounding feat to do to a rectangular four-legged table. "You must be kidding me. An Epic monster? Those thing are rarer than a Flitterer''s scales!" "Yep." said a red haired woman. "And they found it in the Beginner''sForest. Someone filed a report on it. Here''s the Scan Stone." Said the woman, reaching into one of the pockets in her vermilion dress. The man wrinkled his eyebrows at the sight of the stone. Such a low quality stone! It was the type that was sold in bulk at dirt cheap prices, only able to scan minimal information out of the monster. You might be wondering why he would be so disdainful of such a stone. Wouldn''t such stones be submitted to himas proof often given his job? The thing was that this was the first time they had received a stone a lousy as this one. The logic was actually quite simple. High tier monsters would normally be only found in high levelled places, and only the best of adventurers would actually dare to linger around such areas; it would be suicide for anyone else. These dare devils were the type that would be decked in powerful gear. It was the first time they heard of anEpic monster being found in an area below Lv70. "Think it''s a trap, Grimmer?" The womantook her treasured staff out of her inventory and started to polish it. It was a strange habit, but it helped to soothe her and get her thoughts flowing. "It must be a trap; the Monster Community must be up to one of their shenanigans again!" Grimmer concluded as he viewed the information from the Scan Stone.
Entry 25: Unknownmonster Average Level: ? Species: Elemental++? Golem Element: ? Ability Talents: ? Skills: ? Rarity: At leastEpic, possibly aLegendaryorUniquemonster.
"Bloody Elemental golems! And this one''s got two pluses!" Grimmer shouted, flinging the stone to the ground. The stone shattered, dissipating into fine dust and cracking themarble floor. (Charles would be heartbroken) Elemental golems were the biggest pains in the ass. They have ridiculous amounts of health, defence, strength and are very proficient in magic. "There''s no bloody way it''s not aLegend rank! And because this stupid piece of garbage stone, we don''t even know what skills or element it has!" "You know..." Sighed the woman. "Thelow tierstoneshave a good chance to be wrong about the specieswhen it comes to rarer monsters. It could really just anEpic monster that was identified wrongly. You know how prideful thoseLegend monsters are. There''s no way they would be willing to step down and act as bait." The man froze. "Oh." He said blankly. Grimmer felt really dumb for not thinking of that. "As usual, you aren''t thinking things through, are you?" The woman crossed her arms, smirking at him. "You should be glad you have the great Reyna as an adviser here! Hmph, I should really be the leader here! Aren''t the brains the leader rather than the brawn?" Reyna teased,intensifying her smirk. "SHUT UP!" Grimmer punched towards her, but she already teleported outside the room and ran away. Ah yes, that was also another reason why she liked to polish her staff. It makes it convenient to cast spells at any given moment. Outside, Skalda sighed at the antics of the Sorceress Of Mischief (who was running away on foot to conserve mana). And Grimmer too, won''t he ever learn to control his temper?Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. Skalda headed off as the angry man charged out of the room. It wasn''t because he was afraid of getting caught in ''friendly fire''. Okay, he was somewhat afraid of getting caught in the fight. But the main reason was to do his usual task of searching for more people to join the hunt in exchange for benefits. He sighed. It was truly a bothersome task he was given. Anyone capable would obviously ask for overly pricey incentives but if he paid them too much, Reyna and Grim would scold him. It was the same when he invited people they deemed as ''cannon fodder'' as well. Always being treated as the third wheel or scolded. He wondered if he should search for a new party. Surely there would be plenty who would treat aLegend like him with the respect he deserves, right? ~~~~~ Due to the antics of Reyna, the start of the hunt was greatly delayed. To begin with, it was already quite unlikely for anEpicmonster to linger for long in such a low levelled area. This fact made most of the higher levelled people unwilling to participate in fear that the trip would only waste their time. Not to mention that the team had to be more cautious that usual since they had next to no information about the target which made the task somewhat risky. As such, the trio was only able to find an Epic ranked earth mage named Balda despite their rank as Legends. Currently, the group was waiting anxiously as Reyna sent out four magical puppets to scout the area since the strength of the foe was unknown. Each of the members of the hunt group held on to a tiny tablet that projected what the one of the puppets saw. "Ahh... This is so boring!" Bemoaned Reyna as she yawned. "Can''t the monster just show up already!" "Shut up Reyna!" Grimmer yelled at her without staring away from the tablet assigned to him. "Did you forgot how many times to you endangered our hunts by raising flags?" "Eh. I''ll rather get it over with." Reyna shrugged. "It''s all the same! It''s not like anEpic monster would even pose a threat to us. Heck, I can take one of those suckers down alone!" "I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP RAISING THE DAMNED FLAGS!" Grimmer yelled, scaring away all the birds in a twenty metre radius. "Don''t tell me you forgot about that Regeneration Demon? IT WAS ONLY AN EPIC YET IT WIPED OUT A GROUP OF TEN LEGENDS!" "Bleh." Reyna stuck her tongue at the barbarian who couldn''t even take a joke. For some reason, Grimmer believed in ''flags''. It was the trickery of Reyna that led him to believe that what she says ruins operations when it was just in fact her own manipulation most of the time. "I found themonster!" Balda shouted, breaking up the tension about to erupt. Just a few more seconds and the two would be at it again. But hearing the earthen mage, the group quickly gathered around him, shoving each other for a better view of the tiny screen. Except Reyna. She teleported beside Balda in a spilt second. What they saw shocked them. Covered in grey fur and with glowing read eyes, it was theBat King! The monster was staringferociously at the cute little kitten that mewed before him for mercy with pitiful eyes, ready to stuff the feline into the his inventory for a snack later. "Oh no! A cat!" Shouted the third wheel of the team Skalda. Somehow, even the mischievous sorceress put on a serious expression. After all, whocould resist the plead of helpfrom such a cutelittle kitten? ~~~~~ Poopy who was lying down, bored shot up with a jolt. Yowi was in danger! The golem wasn''t sure how it knew, but that was what its instincts screamed at it. Poopy ran straight toward one of the walls of the cage and punched with all its might.
You have taken have taken damage from the rebound of the cage''s hardness. -10 HP.
It was true that Poopy was now somewhat strong, but its squishy body didn''t have enough durability to give a proper punch. The fist literally split in half and went through the gap in the cage. Poopy: .... It had forgotten that it could have just shape-shifted through the gaps in the cage! Truly befitting of how dim it is. Breaking News: Feline Warrior Refuses Pets (Chapter 11) "FWOOOLUUSSSH!!!" An odd sight could be seen in the forest. A pile of dung was running at the fastest speed it could manage, making the sound of a eternally flushing toilet all the while. It was a pity that the dung golem barely had any points inAGI, making its speed rather unimpressive. It was still an unnerving sight for the local wildlife however, so most of the creatures steered clear.
YourAgilityhas been exercised! +1AGI.
However, sincePoopy wassprinting without regard for how exhausted it felt, itsAGI was trained up quite a few points, up to 10 in fact. Let''s just hope this situation teaches it that it does need stats other thanSTR, so that it won''t replace these much neededAGIpoints. ~~~~~ Meanwhile, the hunting group almost caught up with theBat King. Yowi was not stuffed into the inventory yet however, as Reyna let the puppet engage the monster in battle. Normally, this would have worked out terribly. Scouting puppets have next to no fighting power, but this one was more than twice the level of the bat; that gave it enough durability to last for quite a while. TheBat Kinggrinned as it pinned down the puppet. This was a Lv80 foe! Imagine how many levels it would leap after it emptied the final 20% of itsHP! He was quite frightened when he first realised the puppet was Lv80, but got quite excited after finding out how terrible its attack was. On the contrast, Reyna who was still watching the tablet as they chased was quite surprised by how low levelled theEpic was. But suddenly, the monster felt a strong sense of danger. Without hesitating, he left the puppet behind and flew off. A real shame it was, but the bat knew how accurate his instincts were; surviving was more important that levelling up after all. As he flapped his wings hurriedly however, hewas abruptly immobilised.The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. How would the group be able to call themselves part of the elite Monster Collector Guild if they even let a measly Lv30 get away? Balda was able to stun the bat easily with a basic spell,Kinetic Bindings. "Cage him!" Shouted Reyna as she tossed a beast cage out of her inventory to Grimmer. "Shut up! I already know what to do!" Grimmer reached out a hand to grab the squirming bat, stuffing it into the cage with ease. His physical prowess alone was enough to force the similarly sized beast to submit. The bat could only shriek loudly in protest as he struggled, but Reyna stuffed the cage in her inventory, effectively shutting him up. Now that the job was done, Reyna turned to the shivering little kitten, Yowi. "Awww!" She bent overand pet the kitten with a smile. "Don''t be scared little kitty, it''s fine now!" Grimmer was quite surprised. He didn''t realise Reyna had such a soft side despite them having partied together for years. He did find the kitten extremely cute as well though, so he couldn''t blame her. He knelt down and tried to pet the little feline, but Reyna picked up the kitten and cuddled it, keeping it from his reach. "Hey! What''s the problem with you?" Grimmer shouted. "Aren''t you a manly man? It''s the girls that get to play with the cute animals!" Reyna pet the squirming kitten affectionately. "Meroow..." Yowi wasn''t sure what was going on, and was rather confused. One second he goes out to catch fish and gets attacked by a huge scary monster, and the next, a bunch of other weird looking talking monsters beat the first monster up and started to pet him! He tried his best to wriggle out of the monster''s grasp but she was holding him too securely. It wasn''t that he disliked it, but this went against his code as a proud feline warrior to be pet against his will! "Hand the cat over!" The man shouted. Yowi was starting to feel scared from all the fighting. Were these monsters fighting over who got to eat him? He could try talking to them, but somehow, his instincts told him it would be a bad idea. "You two... Can you please stop fighting all the time?" Sighed Skalda. This made both of the aggressors glare at him, making him shrink back. The two were about to shout at him when a strange hoarse gargle echoed in the air. Poopy had roared the whole while, making its throat dry. "Ha-hands o-off maa-my mas-ter!" Squeaked the golem. Reyna took out theScan Stone at the sight of the strange creature. It was probably just a useless rare mon-
Entry 5893: Unknownmonster Level: 1 Species: Elemental+++++ Golem Element: Unknown Element Ability Talents: Intelligence: A Physical Power: S Magical Power: S Tanking Power: A Overall Speed: C Skills: Scan, Inventory, Basic Barehanded Combat, Unknown Skill Rarity: Unique
The saliva in her mouth spurt out. The Great Adventurers Order Pizza (Chapter 12) As you would expect, the golem was easily subdued and stuffed into a cage. Poopy kept screaming to be let out, but to no avail. Why would they release such a Unique monster when they could capture it? "Hey Reyna! I''ll be heading back first!" Shouted Grimmer as he summoned his pet.
Pet Summoned! Deathsting Hornet+++ (Legend) LVL: 87 HP: 4580 (+10000/second) AMR: 100 (+100/second) DEF: 10000 MP: 0 ATK: 5500-13283 (50% to +800000 DMG) MATK: 0 SPD: 10000 INT: 100 --Extras-- EXP: 395,804/3.991,753 Skills: Show More?
The hornet''s exoskeleton shone with a bright metallic yellow hue, wielding a stinger almost as big as the rest of its body. It hovered in mid air as it''s wings cycled fast enough to be become a blur in the air. With a leap, Grimmer jumped into the air... And landed on top of the hornet. And no, this was not a HUGE hornet. It was only the size of a thumb. It sufficed to say that this was a ridiculous sight.Not to mention, Grimmer accidentally landed on the wings rather than on the stinger like he usually did; he was reduced to a blur in the air by the sheer speed the wings cycled at! (Normally, one would be flung off by such speed, but Grimmer had a pair of boots that let him stand with 100% stability on anything. Too bad it backfired on him now.) "M-K-NJDJA-nJKDS-njNInOM-kSKDF!!!!" Screamed the blur in the air as the hornet took off into the skies with him. Seeing such a sight, Reyna laughed hysterically for about five seconds, then stopped abruptly. It was as if she''d never laughed. She then stuffed Poopy''s cage into her inventory, thensummoned a huge red wolf that carried the rest of her entire party back into theBeginner''s Town. Reyna decided to roam about, so Balda and Skalda followed. "Hey, Skalda.You hungry?" Said Reyna as the party walked past a Pizzaria. "Not really." Skalda shock his head. "It''s pointless to eat such low levelled food, they don''t even provide EXP anymore!" "Aww, come up! Don''t be such a downer!" Reyna grabbed his shoulder, pulling him lightly. "What''s wrong with eating something tasty every now and then?" "Fine!" Skalda found it rather pointless, but he''d rather not argue with someone as stubborn as her. At times like this, sometimes it was better to compromise rather than to stir up conflict. At worse, he''ll just eat somePurity Fruits afterwards to cleanse the impurities that came with junk food.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. Meanwhile, Poopy was still struggling in the cage in Reyna''s inventory, smashing against the walls. It even tried squeezing past the bars, but aMonster Collector would never make such an amateurish mistake. The guild dealt with shapeshifting monsters from time to time after all. ~~~~~ Purr.... Yowi was very content. The three weird monsters bought it into a huge house of some, then gave it a huge salmon to chow on! The fish even had some sort of yellow block on it that tasted kinda good. The only downer was that the joy of the hunt was missed, but hey, who would reject a free meal? "So Reyna, what do type of quests do you often embark on?"Asked Balda. It was a rare chance for him to interact with the famed Reyna. He''d heard rumours, but had never thought she''d be this beautiful up close!He uttered a silent prayer to his deity that he was given a chance to ''date'' her. Ignoring the third wheel Skalda who sat silently at the side, of course. And the men from random tables who peeked over once in a while to admire her too "Quests? As a member of the top party, I embark on only the toughest quests to capture the strongest monster!"Reyna braggedas she munched a piece of pizza. Skalda could almost see the tip of her nose elongate. "Wow!That''samazing!" Praised Balda. "Of course! But obvious, I am always the MVP. The last time-" As Reyna bragged about her ''deeds'' to Balda, Skalda secretly put his portion bit by bit into his inventory when Reyna wasn''t looking (Reyna still noticed anyway). He didn''t like the thought of jamming the ''filth'' into his storage, but it was better than eating it. As he watched the two, he couldn''t help but take pity on Balda. Balda seemed to have taken Reyna''s enthusiasm as a sign of interest, but she was just looking for a vessel to brag to. It should have been obvious to Balda, but as they say: infatuation clouds the mind.It felt like forever to Skalda before the two wrapped up. Why did they continue to talk for so long even after they finished the meal? Finally, the trio headed to nearestTown Portal. With the quick payment of 100 Gold, the party was wrapped back to the guild instantly.As Skalda walked from the guild portal back to his quarters, he chanced upon Grimmer. The poor man was wobblingforward in a daze, his face chalk white. "Uh... Are you alright?" Skalda asked. "I feel like crap. My head feels like someone scrambled it like an egg. Tried to sleep but my head hurt too much. Went out to look for sleeping pills." Grimmer muttered. "Ah. No need for that. I''ve got some of mine here." Skalda took out a bottle of pills from his inventory and pressed it into Grimmer''s hand. Skalda always had a bottle of potent pills with him as he had insomnia. "Thanks." Grimmer sent the bottle into his inventory and headed back towards his room. Meanwhile, Skalda heard the footsteps of Reyna. Seeing the mischievous look on her face, Skalda knew he had to stop her. "Reyna, no! Give him a little rest, will you?" He plead. Grimmer was still one of his friends despite his volatile personality. "Hmm..." Reyna pondered. It was true that now was an inappropriate time to disturb him. Didn''t stop her from agitating him the last time somethingmade him feel terrible however. "Alright, but you send this smelly monster to the counter!" She said, tossing the cage containing the golem from her inventory to Skalda. "Don''t go back on your promise!" Skalda caught the cage. "I won''t!" Reyna grinned as Skaldaheaded off. She broke her promise. What did you expect? How Loud Is It When A Dragon Falls Down? (Chapter 13) "Clank!" The cage containing the golem was tossed without care into a corner of a dark room full of other cages by an unenthusiastic worker holding a lantern. "Let me out! Let me out!" It yelled, but to no avail. The cage promptly toppled over, but the worker already left, taking no notice. The room was then plunged back into eerie silence and darkness.Or if would have been, had Poopy not been smashing and yelling. Also, theLuminous Mushroomsgrowing on the golem was enough to offset the darkness from the room. "Hey! Shut the hell up!" Poopy heard an angry voice. It turned its head to see a strange lizard-like creature with covered in bronze metallic scales. She had two wings protruding from her back, and horns on her scaly head, the tips looking sharp enough to pierce metal.It was a dragon. Well, a hatchling dragon to be exact. She wasn''t very big yet. "I just feel asleep after so long, and they had to throw in a new monster..." The dragon grumbled, propping herself from her lying pose; this revealed a huge bronze plate fused to her belly, a gong. Poopy couldn''t help but wonder why anyone would want to have a piece of metal in such an awkward place. It was already annoying enough when weird plants or fungi grew on it. The dragon then slipped, the gong crashing face-first into her cage. BUUUAAAAANNNG! The sound continued to echo for a few more seconds, causing almost every single sleeping creatureto be awoken. "Opps..." She mumbled. Under thedeathly glares of the startled monsters, the dragon curled up in embarrassment. "Bad Dragong loud!" Shouted a weird blue monkey. No other monsters spoke, but they growled and snarled. Not all monsters were intelligent enough or able to talk after all. There was a fair lot of colourful cursing in a few non-english languages however. It was a good thing Dragong was unable to understand them or she would have been deeply hurt. "Sorry..." She muttered. It was easy to hear since it was in an empty room however. Almost none of the monsters understood her, but the more intelligent ones understood that she was sorry. Rounds of discussion in various languages started, frightening Dragong. Were they trying to come up with some kind of punishment for her? They shouldn''t be able to attack her while she resided in the cage, right? Poopy was still smashing at the cage without a care however. One would wonder how much stamina it had to keep attacking for such a long time. Dragong glared at it with a sinister look that screamed "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" but Poopy took no notice. The dragon was quite angry but she was afraid that the other monsters would get more angry if she made more noises by shouting at the dung monster. Speaking of which, why weren''t they angry when Poopy kept smashing the cage? Such injustice! That damned thing was really smelly too!If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. "Hmmpt!" She''ll get revenge... eventually. Maybe she''ll roast it with dragon breath- wait no, she can''t breath fire! Dammit! She didn''t want to touch that dung monster, but she couldn''t think of a way to get revenge without attacking it melee style. For now, she could only keep glaring in hopes that it would eventually notice. Poor Dragong. Soon, the monsters seem to have come to a conclusion of sorts. That only served to make Dragong more nervous. The ones with fur began to carefully gather the tuffs of fallen hair in the cages, then pluck out from more from their bodies to increase the amount. (This was unable to be done by the less nimble ones like wolves, etc however.) Once they gathered enough fur or hair, they stuffed the hair out of the cage. Poopy was perplexed to how they were able push the fur out. Its body couldn''t get out between the bars in the slightest even after usingPoop Control to shapeshift, so how did they do it? The blue monkey then shut his eyes and lifted hispalms in the air. The varying furs floated into the air, twisting and knotting together to form a... pillow. Ok, it wasn''t very pillow like. It was more like a very scratchy bundle of hair and fur. It stunk as well since the monsters were unable to clean themselves while locked in a cage. Dragong could only watch, horrified as the ''pillow'' floated pass the bar of her cage and into it. She had already realised that they were making a cushion for her gong belly the moment she saw the blue monkey making it. They wanted her to silence the gong with such a uncomfortable and smelly pile of fur? No freaking way! BANG! BUAANGG! WHAMP! BANG BANG BANG! BUUUAAAANGG! The dragon began smashing on the cage frantically in panic. She''d rather die than use that thing! The monsters screamed, covering their ears. It was ten times louder than the smashing from before! Dragong smirked.Why compromise when you can make the opposing party compromise instead? UWWUAAA! The cage broke with a horrid twisting sound. (Even louder than the sounds she made smashing the cage.) Dragong was stunned. So easy? In truth, her situation was similar to an elephant tricked to believe a rope could tie it down. When Grimmer and his party caught her, they didn''t have a cage strong enough on hand. To stop the cage from breaking when the dragon struggled, Reyna enchanted the cage, making the cage a thousand times stronger temporarily. Dragong had no idea why the cage was so easy to break all of a sudden, but she was exhilarated! For the first time in a week, she had elbow space to move! She stretched in bliss, relishing the creak of her joints. The other monsters felt very excited too. Perhaps they could convince her to help them break out too? "Me make angry you. You break out. Me save you indirect." Said the blue monkey. A vein bulged on her head. How can anyone be so shameless? The monkey should know better than anyone that he had malicious intents all along! In anger, she punched his cage hard, sending it flying.
You have indirectly hurt your target. Target HP -524. Target HP: 6798/8500
And now for that stupid pile of dung that caused all of her embarrassment! Dragong cracked her claw knuckles menacingly, grinning devilishly all the while. Poopy couldn''t help but collapse in terror from the killing intent. "Stupid poop! DIE!!!!" Escaping Down The Toilet (Chapter 14) BANG!
You have been indirectly attacked by your target. -80 HP. CRITICAL CONDITION: Only 5 HP left!
The cage was sent flying, crashing against the wall violently. It was a good thing Poopy had a soft and squishy body or it would have died on impact. Dragong who saw how low the health of the golem was shocked. Who''d have thought she''d nearly kill it when she was just trying to discipline it? Didn''t the humans only catch rare and powerful monsters? "Hey!" Dragong heard the shout of a man and footsteps. "What''s with the ruckus?" The same man who just bought Poopy in minutes ago charged in. The monsters had always been quiet (spare for the occasional gong noises), so why did they have to be so noisy of all days? He was about to enjoy a meal during his well deserved lunch break, and now he''ll have to shut the monsters up before people complain! His food was definitely going cold by the time he went back. He ran into the cage room, seeing Dragong standing before two twisted and battered cages, grinning ferociously. He gasped. How did theDragong get free? She was specially given an enchanted cage of Epic quality due her immense strength! He quickly whipped out theEmergency Ball? and squeezed on it, sounding the alarm. Dragongturned her head to face the man who charged in, alarmed. She knew someone was about to come at any moment, but seeing a caretaker charge in was quite alarming. And it was Henry of all of them! Henry was one of the nicer caretakers and actually spent the food budget on fresh food for the monsters'' meals rather than purchase awful tasting dry monster food and pocketing the change. With the limited expression that a dragon''s face was capable of, her conflicted face looked ferocious instead. As Henry looked her in the eyes, he was terrified. He''d never thought there would be a day where he would be so frightened of that cute little dragon. "P-please don''t hurt me!" He plead. "Hurt?" Dragong was confused. "Why would I hurt you?"She realised her mistake, reverting her agitated look. Henry heaved a sigh of relief. He felt ashamed for doubting her. Dragong hopped forward, behind Henry who was in thought. "Wait!"He called out in panic.Dragong looked back, perplexed.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. "Wait?" She tilted her head. "Uh... I... If you run away, I''ll.. I''ll lose my job! I still need to support my family. We.. We''re friends right? I beg you to stay!" Henry stammered. It was not out of fear however, but shame. To ask a friend to suffer for his sake... It felt immoral and selfish to him! Dragong was feeling conflicted as well. She wanted to escape from the confines of the filthy room, but she didn''t want to ruin the ''lifeblood'' of her friend. !?!? "AHHHHHHHHHH!" "ROAWOHHHHH!" Screams of pain simultaneously erupted from the two.
...... Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 9! +24 Stat Points. +20 Max HP. +20 Max MP. Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 10! +24 Stat Points. +20 Max HP. +20 Max MP. You have hit the level limit for your species and can choose to evolve!
As it turned out, Dragong''s unreserved punch managed to break the inferior Common cage. (Reyna cut costs after she realised Poopy was so weak despite beingUnique) Poopy then seized its chance when it realised the two threats were distracted, then attack. The golem watched in satisfaction as the twofell to the ground gripping their bums. It''d never thought the dung would provide so much experience! Poopy quickly charged out of the room, running up the sloped passage as fast as it could. Which was not very fast. Serves it right for not working on AGI. "Bastard! How dare you!" A roar of angerechoedfrom the room. As Poopy heard the footstep (clawsteps?) of the dragon, it panicked. If only there was some way to run faster!
TG: TG here! Just a friendly reminder thatAGIincreases speed!
In a hurry, Poopy assigned all of its new stat points intoAGI. ItsAGIreached a whooping 149. With its new-found speed, the golem was now 49% faster than Dragong who focused on a tank build!Discovering the joys of being able to move at an effective speed, Poopy now realised thanSTR was not everything. The dung monster charged out of the dark passage into the office. It was a good thing Henry forgot to close the door in his hurry or Poopy would have been trapped in a dead end only because of not knowing how to use a doorknob. But now it was trapped in the office! The glass doors that led outside were shut, and the golem could still heard the sounds of footsteps from Henry and Dragong. In panic, Poopy quickly looked around the room. It then spotted another passage and ran in, arriving to a smaller room with an open door. The golem was about to panic, but realised there was a heavenly smell coming from something inside the room. It ran in, realising the smell came from a weird white chair with a hole in the centre. As it turned out, Poopy ended up in the toilet room. It quickly jumped down the hole, shapeshifting to fit down the pipes and into the sewers. Seconds later, Dragong and Henry charged into the bathroom. They were able to follow the ''dungprints'' left by Poopy and followed, only to realise the golem had flushed itself. Evolution Into Human Dung (Chapter 15) Bloap! A slimy sound could be heard as the dung golem was ejected out of the sewer and into a river. In a hurry, the golem hopped to the shore, panting.
You have ejected the water from your body and reverted to your original form. -1 MP.
Finally, it was free of the frightening depths! Poopy shuddered. Every second it flailed in the sewer, water would soften its body. It had to keep spammingPoop Controlthe whole timeto prevent itself from falling apart. Combined with the hectic flow of the water, Poopy was unable to collect any of the dung that flowed along with it. Now that it didn''t have to struggle for it''s life, it casted Poop Control on the browned waters.
The dung is far too dissipated to control.
Damn it! Poopy cursed the toilet bowl, feeling wronged. It smelled the fantastic scent of the dung and dived in. Who''d have thought it''d nearly die from the attempt and not get anything in return? The golem didn''t even consider the aid the toilet provided in its escape in its anger. After it calmed down, Poopy took a look at its surroundings. It was a lush forest packed with trees, shrubs, grasses and all kinds of other plants. However, these plants were all unfamiliar to the golem.Unlike in the last forest it was in, the plants did not have green leaves. Instead, they had leaves of reddish pink, purple and other variants.Poopy found this odd. Was it in a different forest or in a different area of the same forest? Right now, it wanted to find Yowi and save him. Oh, and it wanted to take revenge on Yue for ''kidnapping'' Yowi too! Poopy decided to head further into the forest. It wanted to confirm if the forest was still the same one. At worst, it''ll just collect some dung from the animals to level up.
TG: Just a quick reminder that you have reached your level cap! You''ll need to evolve if you want to level up further.
In its hurry to escape from the two, Poopy didn''t register the evolution prompt. If not for the reminder, Poopy would not have realised for quite a while.
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 10
Species Greater Cat Dung Golem (+)
Gender None
Age 2 Days
HP 581
MP 303
Name Value
STR 134
MAG 0
DEX 10
AGI 149
DEF 5
INT 90
Name Level Progress
Name Level Progress
PC 7 47.5%
BBC 2 50%
S 1 0%
I 1 0%
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.Poopy hit the (+) button.
Select your evolution.
Bat Dung Golem Wolf Dung Golem
Goblin Dung Golem Human Dung Golem
Poopy was confused. Why were there multiple options instead of it instantly evolving like the last time? It wasn''t sure which to choose.
Additional System Input: When you absorb dung of certain creatures, there is a chance of unlocking an evolution related to it. Also, you will mimic the level cap of the species and have the same experience requirement to max out your level. Currently, the evolution [Human Dung Golem] has the highest level cap.
Poopy selected the Human Dung Golem evolution.
You have evolved intoHuman Dung Golem! Your level has been reset to 1. YourStat Pointshave dropped to -250. YourINT has increased by 10. YourHPhas increased by 50. YourMPhas increased by 400. YourMAGhas increased by 100.
It''s not going to-
ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE MAG. ERROR: YOU CAN''T REMOVE ANY MORE INT.
Phew... It''s a good thing that Poopy was unable to remove moreINT. Anymore of its antics, and this narrator here will go crazy. Disappointed that it was unable to destroy its own brain (wait, does this thing even have a brain?), the dung monster trudged deeper into the forest. It didn''t take long for it to find a wolf coated with yellow fur. After all, animals are pretty much everywhere in forests. Poopy extended out a hand to rob it of its faeces.
The target''s MAG is too high forPoop Controlto take effect on it. -1 MP. The target is now aware of you.
What!? Poopy was shocked. The wolf glared at the smelly creature, the system having told it about Poopy''s failed spell. Crap! Poopyshivered; it had a feeling the wolf was a lot stronger than it!
Yellow Direwolf LVL: 80 HP: 1,000,000 MP: 0 EXP upon kill: 992,983 Drops: ??? Skill is too low levelled to excess more info.
WIthout hesitation, the dung monster bolted. The wolf didn''t bother to chase. There was no point in hunting down something that could no be eaten. Also, it didn''t want to stain it''s BEAUTIFUL fur. So fluffy... The wolf sat back down on the ground and went back to grooming its fur with its tongue. What a narcissistic wolf. ~~~~~ Poopy charged as far as it could in the opposite direction from the wolf, coincidentally reaching the city theMonster Collector Guildwasbuilt in. Which was probably not a good thing. Poop Monster Terrorises Local Church (Chapter 16) "Ahem." A young man stood on a stage in a hall filled with hundreds of people. The hall went silent as he clearer his throat, hundred of faces turning to meet his own. He felt extremely nervous before the attentive gazes of the audience. Never had he seen so many people gathered during the recruitment event, but he was sure he could do it! He''d rehearsed the speech two times! (Don''t ask me why the pope decided to send an inexperienced spokesperson.) "I-in- the beginning, there was nothing. Then the mighty, beautiful goddess Xenon came! She made the planet from-" "But you said there was nothing!" Shouted a young boy sporting a mischievous smile. "Shut up!" Squeaked the young bishop. Snickers rose from the crowd. The young man paled, how could he have messed up so badly? He felt like digging a hole for himself.The stress he put off earlier start to bite hard at him, and he felt like he couldn''t take it anymore. He had to leave! "And the world ofUchalous was created! That''s it" He shouted in a squeakier tone, conveniently skippingall the lines. He then hoppedoff the stage in embarrassment, running into the even more convenient nearby staffroom. .... The little boy felt very awkward. Who''d have thought such asmall joke would scare off the bishop? His mother reprimanded him as discussion spread amongst the crowd. Creak! The door creaked as another person soonwalked out of the staffroom. She was a pretty nun. "Sorry for the interruption everyone, I shall now do the speech in his stead!" The nun said in an apologetic tone, bowing to the audience."In the-" She began. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" A man screeched in agony. The crowd turned over in puzzlement butsimilar shouts soon followed.
Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 2! +50 Stat Points. +50 Max HP. +50 Max MP.
Poopy nodded its head in satisfaction. It wandered into the city (which was mostly empty because most were at the church) and headed into the tallest building out of curiosity and look at what it found: Hundreds of ''poop machines'' primed like a buffet! The security guard tried to stop the smelly thing from entering but was now collapsed on the ground, clenching his butt in pain. It just so happened that he was constipated, so the exiting was extra rough. At least he won''t have to struggle on the toilet for an hour, right? Oh wait, hemorrhoids are worse.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. "Stop the monster!" Squealed a fallen man. The crowd stiffened as they watched anyone who got close get the *ahem*butt treatment. Nobody wanted to step up. They moved further away progressively in fact. There were random adventurers that had enoughMAGto resist the attacks mixed in the crowd, but Poopy was lucky enough not to encounter any. As such, all of the people were quite frightened and backed off as the monster approached, grinningly menacingly (it looked menacing from the crowd''s POV). "It''s a level three unique monster!" Someone who took out a scan stone yelped. The crowd was shocked. A unique monster of such a low level? "Get him!" Quickly, dozens of people charged over. What''sa little pain when you have the chance to be rewarded by theMonster Collector Guild for such a valuable addition? More people would have charged over, but there were far too many people in the way. Hmph. Ignorant! Poopy laughed with glee as it extracted the dung from the people who ran over only to be vanquished. More people were about to rush over, but they stopped. The collapsed people started form a barricade, and it wasn''t like the other people could just step on them, could they? With the help of the barricade, Poopy quickly extracted more poop from the innocent. "Stop right there!" Yelled a man wearing a yellow track shirt and yellow track pants with yellow hair styled in the shape of a lightning bolt. Oh, and he was wearing yellow spectacles too. He hopped over the pile of people and posed dramatically, thinking he looked very cool. He didn''t. Without hesitating, Poopy attacked.
The target''sMAGis too high forPoop Controlto take effect on it. -1 MP. The target is now aware of you.
Damn it! Poopy felt very wronged. Why did so many targets have to be immune toPoop Control? "Oh? You can''t get me? Hahahaha!" The yellow man grinned smugly. "Looks like I''m the one to save the day!" Splat!
You''ve hit the target in the eye with dung. Target HP -1.
"Hah! Stupid!" Taunted Poopy as the man shrieked from the pain. It then started to run away, knowing that it couldn''t win. "It can talk!" Shouted captain obv- I mean... an old woman. The adventurers in the crowd yelled with renewed vigour. Talking monsters netted the highest reward from theMonster Collector Guild! (Also, they now knew that the attack didn''t work on anyone who dabbled in a little magic.) As Poopy ran, it now had dozens of adventurers in the 30-60 level range chasing it. Cat Fight (Chapter 17) Most people would be fairly unhappy at the prospect of being kidnapped. Unless Stockholm syndrome comes in to ruin the above statement. However, Yowiwas actually pretty fine with being captured by the ''mostly hairless giants'' from the start. They didn''t hurt it in the slightest, and even saved it from that huge bat. Oh, and they fed him too. Yes indeed, the way to a cat''s heart is through his stomach. Wait, was the quote supposed to be the way to a man''s heart instead? In any case, the kitten was now munching on a salmon. He was very satisfied. Or at least he would be if the other cat, Tigerwas not glaring and hissing at him. The long haired ''mostly hairless giant'' who seemed to have been called Reyna told Tiger to get along with him, but Yowi had a feeling that Tiger didn''t understand half of her words.Having lived his life without seeing another cat, Yowi assumed that Tiger was rather dim. In actuality, Tiger was a fairly normal cat (except for the overly unbefitting name). Yowi was just more intelligent thanthe average housecat. Oh, if only he could have intelligent company that he could talk to, like Yue! .... ..? !!!! The sudden realisation hit him hard. "OWH CWAP!" Yelped Yowi. He forgot about Yue!Distracted by the newfound luxury, he completely forgot about how worried Yue would be. Right before he went out, he told Yue that he''ll be back before the sun went down! It''s been what? Two hours? It''s probably already evening! Tiger stared at his new roommate oddly. What type of weird cat makes sounds so... un-catlike? Aching for freedom, the kitten hopped into the air towards the door that blocked his way to freedom. Bang! Yowi crashed against the door, managing to grab the lever doorknob. It was unfortunate that he was too light to actually pull the knob down by much.Dammit! Yowi cursed. He neededsomething heavier to open the door! Yowi looked around the room. A table, a cabinet, a bed, a wardrobe, cat necessities and random cat toys like yarn and plush mice.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Yowi was very displeased by the terrible options he had. Then he realised he had the other cat. Perfect! It just so happened that Yowi knew the spellTemporary Control. He''d mostly used the spell on fish to aid his fishing in the past, but now he finally found another use!
The target is now controlled for 10 seconds. -200 MP.
200 MP? Yowi was shocked. It only took 5-15 MP for him to take control of fish! Yowi decided the reason didn''t matter. He commanded the other cat to hop at the doorknob. Bang! In delight, Yowi watched as the lever knob bend all the way down. Then theTiger slipped. The knob went back to it''s original position with a harsh snap, as if berating Yowi for his attempt. The kitten realised that the other cat must be toofat for his mere paws to support. Well then. Yowi was about to yowl in anger when he realised that he could use the ball of yarn that he previously neglected. Hiss! Just then, Tiger broke out of his trace, hissing. He didn''t appreciate how the other cat took control of him (the system informed him of the culprit).
You have been stunned by your target for 10 seconds.
Ignoring the other cat''s anger, Yowi simply castStiffness. He then untangled the yarn, randomly knotting them around Tiger. It didn''t take long for Tiger to finally break out of the trance and struggle, but that only sped up the process of tangling the poor cat up. Finally... After a dozen minutes of ''hard fought battle, Tiger was wrapped up like a gift.
The target is now controlled for 10 seconds. -160 MP.
Hmm? That was a lot less. Yowi was pleasantly surprised. Could it be that he needed to use more mana the stronger the target is? It would seem so from how the mana cost kept varying. Bang! Once again, poor Tiger smashed into the door.This time however, he did not fall. The yarn caught on the lever knob and left the cat hanging. Which was terrible for him. He would remain stuck and mewing until Reyna returned, which would be anquite a while later. Yowi was overjoyed. No, not at the fact that the annoying cat got what he deserved. Yowi was now going to be free! He pushed opened the door, charging outside in excitement.The kitten charged down the corridors, preparing to run all the way back to the portal and back home. But not before shutting the door first. Yowi had a habit to close the door after he leaves rooms. Becoming A Druid (Chapter 18) Meanwhile, our protagonist was being chased by a mob of money grubbers. Seriously, don''t they get discouraged after seeing so many people fall down crying in pain? As expected of disposable cardboard characters. (cough cough) As the adventurers chased the young monster along the streets, some nearby townspeople joined the chase. It was a huge mess. You would think that adventurers with higher agility would easily catch up; but taking advantage of its size which was of a cat, Poopy was able to duck behind random people on the streets, preventing it from being caught by the faster adventurers. It still needed somewhere to hide however, so it kept an eye out for any buildings with open doors. Sadly, Poopy found none. Don''t ask me why no one forgot to shut their doors. There should be at least a single klutz or at least someone who was opening the door halfways, right?
YourAgilityhas been exercised! +1AGI.
"Gah!" The sudden pop up startled Poopy, causing it to almost crash into a lamppost. Poopy cursed, wishing the pop up wouldn''t appear at such a crucial moment.
Additional System Input: You can go to Settings and disable blue windows mid combat if you''d like to.
Poopy crashed into a lamppost. It was not pleasant. Poopy expected to see a blue box telling how hurt it was any second, but it seemed that the system was considerate enough not to-
You have smashed your face into a lamppost. -9 HP.
Bastard! Poopy wanted to yell, but its face was currently smushed against the said lamppost. The system JUST had to delay the message long enough to troll it, didn''t it? "Got ya!" A random man reached out to grab the dung golem. Unfortunately, a pile of soft dung is not very suited for grabbing. The dung grabbed simply came off, leaving the man with a handful of poop. Poopy quickly detached itself from the lamppost and usedPoop Controlto regain the lost dung. The golem then spotted a building with open gates and started to charge towards it.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. "Damn it!" Yelled the man. The building happened to be the temple of nature. Poopy isn''t developing a knack for raiding religious icons, is it? It just so happened that the temple was empty today.
You have entered the Nature Temple! ---------- Hello! Welcome to my nature temple! I assume you have entered to become a Druid right? Well, the process is easy! Simply press your hand on the glowing green orb on the pedestal, and you''ll be registered! Best regards: Naus, Goddess Of Nature
"Shut up!" Shouted Poopy.
No. (Also, this is totally not my fault. If you want to, please blame Naus. She''s the one who asked me to forward this message to everyone new who enters her temples. It''s hard work you know? Can''t you be just a little more appreciative of all the work I do to sendall the creatures on the planet system messages?)
The golem wished there was a way to punch the damned system in the face.
Hey! That''s very rude! You wouldn''t exist without me, you know? I''m almost like a parent to you! Practice some filial piety, won''t you?
Poopy ignored the box. Now, for somewhere to hide... Unfortunately, there was only that dumb pedestal mounted in the center of the single roomed temple. With it''s nowaverage human intelligence, Poopy realised that it could morph its body to fit behind the pedestal into order to hide.
You have been very naughty. -200 MP.
What?! Poopy was shocked. The system got upset at it and increased the cost for shapeshifting? The golem wanted to shout again but it wasn''t very appropriate now that it was in hiding. "Where is it?" The yellow man from two chapters ago rushed into the circular room. "Idk, I just saw it run in like 10 seconds ago." Said a green man. (He was an over-dedicated druid that decided to body-paint himself chlorophyll green for some reason.) More people soon rushed into the temple, almost all of them now carrying jars afterwitnessingthe man who failed to grab Poopy. Some people that didn''t have jars even bought jars from people who had them in their inventory. A salesman who accidentally wrote an extra zero on the ordering form was delighted to sell his jars to the crowd at an increased price. The dung pancake stuck to the back of the pedestalcould only curse as it heard people rush into thetemple. It was unable to see because it didn''t have eyes at the moment, but it was obvious that someone would soon notic- "What''s this smell brown covered in mushrooms stuck to the pedestal?" Asked a clueless boy. "It''s the monster!" Shouted a man as he swooped in with a jar. Poopy wasn''t sure why the man was dumb enough to announce his attack, but it quickly shot up into the air with the help ofPoop Controlin semi liquid form. It conveniently touched the orb by accident as well.
Congratulations on unlocking your first class: Druid! You are 100% suited for this class. +100 MAG. +500 HP. +1000 MP. Achievement Unlocked:First Class. Not really. I mean, kinda, yeah, but you''re not actually first class. +200 Stat Points.
Is A Rock A Type Of Plant? (Chapter 19) "Huff... huff... huff." In the outskirts of a forest, you could hear the panting of the dung golem who was leaning against a tree. Now that it was not being chased by the excited crowd, Poopy was finally able to ask the question it was curious about the whole time. ''System, what class did I just get?''it thought to itself.
Class: Druid Type: Mage Description: A powerful magician that draws power from nature to manipulate plants, fungi and animals. Stat Bonuses: +100 MAG. +500 HP. +1000 MP. Current Skills: PlantControl PlantGrowth
A plant? What''s that? Apparently, it''s innate knowledge did not include many obvious things. ''System! What is a plant?''
Additional System Input: A plant is something alive that does not move. Well, technically they do move as they grow but that''s not really the point.
Poopy usedPlant Controlon a rock.
That''s not a plant, haha. -10 MP.
Apparently, Poopy had no idea how to tell if something is alive or not. Thinking back about how the system said that plants were living things that don''t move, Poopy decided that the rock must be something that is not alive. It recalled that the system said that ''plants'' move as they grow.The golem looked around in vicinity and saw a ring of pulsing mushrooms. Aha!
That''s not a plant, hahaha. -10 MP.
Poopy felt very wronged. Was the system just trolling it? Poopy got upset and decided to just ignore the skill for now.
TG: You do realise that you have theScanskill, right? The scan skill with tell you what the thing you just scanned is.
(TG pitied the clueless Poopy) Ah! Poopy felt enlightened. It mentally thanked TG and thought to itself about how much nicer TG was than the system Ai.
Delete Tutorial Guide?
YES no
''Okay, okay! I''m sorry!''plead Poopy. The box disappeared right after the system got the threat across. Honestly, I don''t see why the system would be so petty. It was almost as if ithad the mentality of a young child. With its new knowledge, Poopy decided to scan random plants and try to control them for fun. Unfortunately, most of the plants it targeted were too high levelled to be controlled since the golem was in a high levelled forest. It was able to control the saplings and grass however, but the control was quite limited and cost a lot of mana as well.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. After a while of experimenting, Poopy realised that the green moss and the now sprouting truffle grass seeds that grew on it were plants too. It decided to try to get rid of them with Plant Control.
Remove bound plants: Moss? (-5 DEF)
Yes No
Bound plants?
Normally, a Druid would need to go through a long process to link themselves with the plant. However, the moss and truffle grass have grown on you their whole lives so they are automatically bound. Bound plants cost no mana to control.
In curiosity, Poopy tried manipulating the truffle grass sprouts on it. They moved as naturally as the golem would with it''s fingers. Manipulating the moss only resulted in small changes to the patterns of moss that grew on it however. Realising this, the golem grew excited. Couldn''t it grow a plant that was as tough as ''thosehard tall plantthings'' (aka trees) on it''s body and use the plant like an extra body part and to increase its stats? Poopy already had the experience of having its defence increased by the random plants that grew on it, so it didn''t see what other stats would not rise as well. At worse it''ll just rob more dung frompoor creatures to support the plants, right? Poopy decided to try scanning the moss.
Bound Plants: Moss
Stats Skills
Level 1
STR 0
MAG 10
DEX 0
AGI 0
DEF 5
INT 0
HP 100
MP 100
Photosynthesis (Lv1)
Generates 10 MP per minute while in the sun.
The moss seemed like an awful plant to Poopy. As the golem hit the yes button, the moss simply fell off it without wasting a single bit of mana. The truffle grass sprouts were disposed of as well soon after. The luminous mushrooms were spared however since the dung monster found their light useful. (But it doesn''t matter either way becausePlant Control wouldn''t have worked on the mushrooms anyway even if it decided to get rid of them.)Poopy now decided to search for a plant that seemed strong enough yet light enough for it to carry around. Eventually, it settled with a woody vine that snaked around a random tree. With the help of theScanskill, Poopy was able to figure out that those strangely flat lumps that grew on the vines were actually seed pods. The golem held the seed pods and tried to get the seeds out. Unfortunately, it''s fingers were far too soft and simply got mashed up when trying to open the seed pod. Poopy decided to use plant control instead, which did the trick nicely. It then planted the seeds from the single pod all over random parts of itself. Surprisingly, this was actually not uncomfortable unlike the time when theBat Kingforced the truffle grass seeds on it. Perhaps it had to do with Poopy now being a druid? By this time, it was night. Poopy decided to dig a hole in the ground and sleep there in case monsters attacked. Honestly though, I don''t see any reason for a night predator to attack a pile of dung. The dung monster was pretty much asking for worms to crawl into itdoing such a dumb action. Midnight System Ping (Chapter 20) DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! Reyna shot out of her blankets inshockas loud ringing sounds were blasted into her ears. She was greeted with a fully opaque blue box that rudely obstructed the entirety of her vision.
~~~SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT!!!~~~ CITY RAID EVENT IN LOPIA!!! IN 10 HOURS, A HUGE BATTLE SHIP WILL ATTACK! WHY? BECAUSE XENON IS BORED AND HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO! IF ITMAKES YOU FEEL BATTLE, 284 CITIES ON THE PLANET ARE ALSO GOING TO BE ATTACKED! THAT FEELS BATTLE, DOESN''T IT? ALSO, JUST FOR YOUR GUILD, THE ATTACKING MONSTERS CAN BE CAPTURED OR WHATEVER! I THINK SHE SAID THEY WERE NAMED LYCRANS OR SOMETHING. OKAY, THAT''S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. THE CAPS LOCK WAS ON JUST TO GET YOUR ATTENTION IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. YOURS SINCERELY -SYSTEM
Reyna skimmed through all the text. To be awoken by a ping right after falling sleeping in a shoddy motel after a hard capture quest... (Also, lame puns.) Needless to say, the half-asleep woman was not pleased. The worst part? The leader of theMonster Collector Guildwas definitely going to recall all of his members for a meeting right away. Reyna was sure of that.Shelooked out of the window of the motel room. Dark as midnight. Most of the buildings had darkened windows save for a few.Sighing, the woman got out of bed and switched from her nightgown to battle attire with the help ofEquipment Swap. As she opened the door and prepared to head out, Reyna spared a last look backwards. It was still fairly neat, except for the crumbled bed. Mostly because she went to sleep the moment she got into the room. ''Psycho Hands: Sort bed!''She thought.
-50 MP.
In a second, the bed was back to pristine condition. She didn''t want to trouble the poor motel workers. Seconds after she headed out of the room, down the stairway and out of the motel, she received a message. Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
A message from your Guild Leader. All members, please report to the meeting room! (1 hour)
The expected message came. (Atteus was a man of few words as usual.) Reyna headed to the city portal and teleported back to her guild. As she headed to the meeting room,shedecided to head to her room to play with her cats since there was still time. Better than spending her time cooped in a meeting room waiting for the other members to arrive. "Hello kitties!" Reyna said cheerfully as she opened the door. "Meeeowwwwwwww..." Only to be greeted by Tiger mewing pitfully as he hung from a tangle of yarn on the door knob on the other side of the door. (She left the lights on before she left so they are still on.) Yowi, the new cat was nowhere to be seen. ''What the heck?''Quickly, she freed the poor cat from the yarn. Tiger collapsed into a pile on the floor, still meowing pitifully. Hanging in such an awkward position for hours made Tiger cramp all over his body. "What happened to you?" Asked Reyna to the cat who did not under her words apart from ''you''. In a hurry, she decided to summon one of her battle pets.
Summoned pet:Azure Ape.
A sleeping blue human sized monkey materialised on the ground. He continued to snore peacefully. At least until Reyna smacked him hard on the rump. "OWWW!" He yelped as he jolted away in a similar manner as Reyna did from earlier. "What the fuck, human?" The monkey glared at her. "Ask Tiger whobullied him." Reyna pointed to the cat. "You woke me up just for this?" Monkey made areally exaggerated incredulous face. And yes, Reyna named him ''Monkey''. "Do it." Reyna directly used a pet command. Monkey made a really frustrated expression but he still complied. No one could defy commands straight from the system. "Meoow reoww mroew...?" Said Monkey to Tiger. "Mreeeowwwwww..." Whined Tiger. After aminuteof conversing, Monkey turned around. "Wussy said he got tied up with the yarn by another cat and that the other cat ran away." Said Monkey. "Now let me go back to sleep!" Reyna was quite confused. Why did the new cat bully Tiger and escape? Regardless, now that she got what she wanted, Reyna recalled Monkey back into her pet space. There was no reason to piss him off further now that she got what she wanted. Reyna picked up the cat and headed out ofher room, petting him all the while. Tiger purred. She walked down the hallway and into the meeting room. Almost all the members were there already, quite a number staring at her. Atteus glared at her. "Reyna, I''ve said it before. No cats." Atteus made a shooing motion with his hands. "But-" "No buts. Get it out right now." Interrupted Atteus. Reluctantly, Reyna put the catoutside of the room (The cat isn''t a system pet since Reyna wanted to save pet slots). The meeting proceeded swiftly afterwards.The weaker memberswere sent toserve as lookoutsall over the city while the better fighters were briefed on what formation to take in order to assure victory. Dung Beetle Pet (Chapter 21) Daylight. The golem awoke. It felt terribly hungry and itchy all over, just like when it awoke the previous day (aka chapter 3).
Good morning. You havebeen attacked by an MetallicScarab while you slept.-538 HP.
Poopy took a good look at itself only to realise that a huge chunk was missing from its chest. Almost a quarter of its entire body in fact. Honestly, that wasn''t the worst that could have happened to it. I''m actually surprised that no worms decided to tunnel into it. Must have been too repulsive for even worms. The golem quickly got out of the hole and tried to sniff hard for the missing chunk of itself, panicked. Knowing itself quite well, the unique scent was quickly found by it. Poopy quickly charged towards the source of the smell anxiously. The source of the smell was foundin a minute; it came from somewhere undera bush. Poopy usedPlant Controlto uproot the bush, revealing a tunnel under the shrub.
Level Up! Congratulations, your Druid Class is now level 2! +100 MAG New skills learnt: Suggest andBenevolent Taming! Suggest: Command a creature with weakerMAGtemporarily. (MP Cost: Depends) BenevolentTaming: You can now tame a creature as a pet. Requirements: The creature must be fully willing. No abuse to the pet is permitted. (MP Cost: 0) Skill Level up! Congratulations, yourPlant Controlis now level 2! -1 MP cost.
Poopy was quite satisfied. But first, it had to retrieve its dung!
You have restored your lost body mass. +300 HP, -1 MP.
The ball of dung inside the tunnel flew out and fused back into the golem''s body, pulling out a panicking dung beetle along with it. The beetlehad a shiny carapace that looked like silver and a somewhat long horn. It was the size of a kitten, around half of the dung monster''s height. Having gained the habit of spamming the scan skill, Poopy decided to scan the huge insect.
MetallicScarab LVL: 30 Species: Insect HP: 30,000 MP: 3000 EXP upon kill: 300,000 Drops: ??? Compatible as a pet!Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Skill is too low levelled to excess more info. Skill Level up! Congratulations, yourScanis now level 2! Now you can tell what type of fighter the target is!
Compatible pet?
Additional System Input: Druids can only tame compatible creatures with their permission. It''s honestly like sending a friend request. Oh wait, you don''t have friends. HAHAHA.
The dung monster ignored the system and tried the taming skill on the scarab.
What are you, dumb? You think that something that just met you will allow itself to be tamed? -300 MP. Pending Request...
Meanwhile, the dung beetle was quite confused. The system was unable to accurately convey the message across due to the low intelligence and limited language the insect had. It thought hard andconcluded that"Do you want to be Poopy''s pet?" meant "poop friend want?". So it agreed. It loved poop more than anything!
Congratulations: You got a new pet! Additional System Input: Wow, seriously? You two are both weirdos. Perfect for each other. Name: (Please select a name) Species: Metallic Scarab (Insect) Grade: Rare LVL: 30 STR:3000 MAG: 300 DEX: 30 AGI: 300 DEF: 3000 INT: 60 HP:30,000 MP: 30,000 EXP: 28,234/30,000 Passive Skills: Dung Tracking:Scrabis able to detect dung in a 50 metres radius. Charge: Sudden increase of speed (10x) when preparing to ram the foe with its horn. Skills: Harden: Increase DEF by 50,000 for 10 seconds. Cooldown: 15s. (1000 MP) HornStab: Deals STR x2 DMG. Cooldown: 10s. (1000 MP) Quick Tunnel: Makes a tunnel in the ground in seconds. Cooldown: 30s. (100 MP)
Seeing the first passive skill, Poopy was elated. Now it can find all the poop with ease! But how was it going to use the skill of it''s pet? As it was about to question the system, it realised that it could connect to the mind of the beetle and the thoughts of the insect. This in turn allowed it to sense all the poop which this beetle could detect. Sensing a pile of wolf dung around 20 metres away, Poopy dashed towards the spot. The dung beetle quickly followed. The golem quickly absorbed all the dung the moment it reached it. The beetle that ran right behind was devastated. It realised the mistake it had made; was this poop monster going to steal all its poop from now on? It felt like crying, but it had no tear ducts. With the pet bond, Poopy could sense the beetle''s distress. It pitied the beetle and gave it a small dollop poop from its arm. The beetle happily rolled the dung into a ball and hugged it, heading to a nearby bush to dig a burrow under to hide in. The golem was enraged. How was it going to find more poop if the beetle hid in a hole like this? It used its power to pull the dung from its arm back into itself along with the beetle.
WARNING: YOUR PET IS FEELING ABUSED! Abuse Metre: 1/10 Hitting 10 will cause the pet to to no longer be a pet.
"GAAAAAHH!" Yelled Poopy. Did it really have to comply to all of the beetle''s whims if it wanted to find all the poop? Poopy felt really dismayed. Raid Event (Chapter 22) In the end, Poopy had no choice but to let the beetle mess around in its own tunnel with a ball of poop. The dung golem was quite frustrated since that meant it count only search for dung in a 50 metre radius, but at least that was better than nothing, right? Poopy spent the next hour harvesting all the dung in the 50 metre radius of the tunnel the scarab dug.
Level up! Congratulations, you are now level 5! +50 Stat Points. +50 Max HP. +50 Max MP.
Having found the last of the dung in the 50 metre radius, Poopy gained quite a lot. There were a lot of high levelledanimals like the yellow direwolf it encountered previouslyin the area, but Poopy realised after a whilethat none of them bothered with it unless it wandered too close into their territory. Some of them even welcomed the golem to remove the smelly turds! But not all the animals. The wolves didn''t let the golem part with their dung for one, for the smelly stuff was used to mark their territory. The golem was quite satisfied from all its gains, even thinking to itself that today might be the best day ever. However, it wanted more! Unfortunately, Poopy could still sense that the dung beetle was still slurping on that ball of dung. The golem was really, really annoyed. Why does it take so long for that damned insect to eat? Poopy decided to just march on and search for more dung deeper in the forest. ~~~~~ A while later... The golem had been heading out in search of more dung for another hour. But without the help of the beetle, it was actually unable to find any! As Poopy marched on, dejected, a shadow loomed above it all of a sudden. Poopy stared up into the sky, only to see a huge floating silhouette of an unnatural object amongstthe clouds.Whatever it was, it was flying far too high above for the dung monster to tell what it was. Scuttling sounded behind the golem. Poopy turned around, only to see the beetle charge over and plop on the ground beside it. The shrivelled remains of the dung ball was speared on the tip of its horn. After a while of slurping the dung ball, the scarab realised Poopy was hundreds of metres from it. The ball of poop given by the golem was the tastiest it had yet, so the insect quickly rushed to its master out of fear that Poopy would leave. Poopy was overjoyed, almost tempted to hug the beetle. Now it could finally find more dung!
New Event Raid Quests! F tier: Subdue 1 minor Lycran Reward: 1Raid Token E tier: Subdue 10 minor Lycrans Reward: 12Raid Tokens D: Subdue 20 minor Lycrans Reward: 30Raid Tokens C: Subdue 2 Lycrans Reward: 100Raid Tokens B: Subdue 10 Lycrans Reward: 1500Raid Tokens A: Subdue 1BOSSLycran Reward: 100,000Raid Tokens S: Subdue all 5BOSSLycrans Reward: 5,000,000Raid Tokens
If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.Hmm? Poopy was confused. What are quests and why did it suddenly get them? What areRaid Tokens? What are Lycrans. Why was it suddenly interrupted from its good mood?
TG: A quest is basically a task that will give you rewards if you finish it. Can be handed out by the system or guilds.Raid Tokens allow you to buy things from the event shop. Trying thinking ''shop''! On a side note, see the shadow above you? That''s theM.O.A.B, the battleship of the Lycrans! They will jump down and start attacking random things shorty. PS: You were given the quests because you are very close to the battleship.
''Shop!''
Raid Shop RandomLootCrate (1 RT) Iron Sword (1 RT) Egg (1 RT) Eggplant (1 RT) RareLootCrate (10 RTs) Rare ''Metal'' Sword (10 RTs) RareWoodenStaff (10 RTs) EpicEgg Beater (20 RTs) Big Fish (30 RTs) EpicLootCrate (100 RTs) Mysterious Egg (100 RTs) Scallion Pancake (101 RTs) EpicIron Sword (150 RTs) EpicMagic+ Staff (150 RTs) 100 x 100cm Lycran Skin Sheet (1000 RTs) 1 Kg Dark Matter (1000 RTs) LegendaryLootCrate (1100 RTs) Legendary WeaponLootCrate (1500 RTs) LegendaryArmour LootCrate (1500 RTs) LegendaryWish FulfilmentLootCrate (2000 RTs) UniqueLootCrate (100,000 RTs) Any Lv100LegendaryEquipment (100,000 RTs) Big Egg (1,000,000 RTs) Rarity Evolution Orb (2,000,000 RTs) Unique Weapon LootCrate (3,000,000 RTs) Token Of Bodily Rebirth (4,000,000 RTs) UniqueWish FulflmentLootCrate (5,000,000 RTs) +5,000,000 STR (5,000,000 RTs) +5,000,000 MAG (5,000,000 RTs) +500,000 DEF (5,000,000 RTs) +50,000,000 HP (5,000,000 RTs) +5,000,000 MP (5,000,000 RTs)
Poopy felt like the rewards were useless. Why would it want anything other than poop? Admitted, it could snag a Wish FulfilmentLootCrate to get some but the cost was too highfor something so easily found. Poopy decided to ignore the quests and head off to the nearest pile of dung, but not before passing another ball of dung to the beetle in case it pissed off the insect again. This time, the beetle simply speared the ball onto its horn, following Poopy obediently. The golem was delighted, thinking about what a good day today was. BOOM! Something hit the ground 5 metres away from Poopy, stirring up a cloud of dirt. But with a swing of its arm, the concealer was forced to part, revealing an almost featurelesswhite humanoid with sunken sockets for eyes. It was very muscular, with abs on its abdomen and well defined muscles on its slender limbs. As the strange being stared right into the golem''s eyes with its empty sockets, it could not help but feel extremely frightened. I Attacked You For Your Own Good So Stop Screaming! (Chapter 23) The creature charged at our protagonist. "AIEEEEE!" Poopy screamed, turning away to run. BANG! The loud sound of two things being violently smashed together could be heard.
Minor Lycran Slain by (Please select a name)''sHorn Stab! +1000 EXP (+4000 EXP to(Please select a name)) Level Up! Congratulations, you are now level 6! +50 Stat Points. +50 Max HP. +50 Max MP. Pet Level Up! Congratulations, it is now level 31! +1000 Max HP +1000 Max MP +100 STR +10 MAG +1 DEX +10 AGI +100 DEF Quest Complete! F tier: Subdue 1 minor Lycran Reward: 1Raid Token Quest Progress... E tier: 1/10 minor Lycrans Quest Progress... D: 1/20 minor Lycrans
Poopy turned back, only too see the monster speared on the dung beetle''s horn. It was shocked. The scarab was that strong? Apparently, the golem merely skimmed through the stats of its pet, only looking at the skills. It didn''t even realise the beetle was level 30. The minor Lycran disintegrated, covering the beetle in white powder. Apparently, pets have the innate instinct to protect their master. The insect was filled with satisfaction by its level. That is, until it realised that the its tasty dung ball was still on its horn before it attacked. The dung was now spattered all over the insect and the ground, also covered in white powder. It starred at Poopy pitifully, doing its closest imitation ofPuppy Eyes. (Yes, that is a skill.) After the golem calmed down from the fright, it usedPoop Controlto reform the splattered dung into a proper ball for its pet. Poopy was delighted. Who''d have though the random kitten sized insect it decided to tame was so strong? Perhaps it should try to tame everything it met? Silly golem. It would be beat to death by enraged proud beasts. Who would want to be the slave of a talking, walking pile of poop? (except for the dung beetle, cough cough) The golem looked up in excitement towards the silhouette in the sky, almost as if waiting for more ''treasures'' to fall from the sky. BOOM! Another white Lycran hit the ground, creating a small crater. This one was a lot more burly and was holding a long spear. ''Go! Kill it!'' Poopy mentally instructed its pet.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. The beetle rushed over, preparing to swipe its horn at the Lycran. The Lycran tried to block the attack with its spear, but was not fast enough.
Your pet hasattacked your target without a skill. Seriously, ask it to useHorn Stab! Target HP -1364
In anger, the monster tried to stomp on the much smaller dung beetle. Unfortunately, this Lycran was a Tank class without a lot ofAGIandDEX, so the insect was able to weave aside with ease. It seemed like it would be a one sided fight, with the nimble insect dodging all its stomps with the help of superiorAGI. ''Buggy! Use Horn Stab!'' Commanded Poopy. Swiftly, the bug stopped its playful weaving and jabbed its horn at the monster at full speed.
You have named your petBuggy! Your pet usedHorn Stabon your target! Target HP -6200, -1000 Pet MP
''Hey! Who said I wanted to name it Buggy!''Poopy mentally yelled at the system.
I did. Deal with it.
Fuming, the golem started shouting (mentally) at the system to let it change its pet''s name. Who names a bug buggy?
I''m sorry (not). You need aName Changer Tag to change the name of pets.
''Bastard! Bad! Meanie! Stupid! Uh... Bully!''Poopy started to mentally recite every insult it could think of as it swung its fists at the incorporeal box! Meanwhile, the beetle got distracted. Apparently, a druid''s mental link with a pet allows the pet to hear every thought of their master. Confused about who its master was yelling and punching at, the beetle finally got stomped on.
Your pet has been hit by the target''sStomp! -9874 Pet HP! 21126 left.
''What?!''Poopy snapped out of its daze, shocked. When were minor Lycrans this strong? ''Scan!''
Spear Lycran LVL: 30 Species: Lycran Type: Melee Tank HP: 92,436/100,000 MP: 0 EXP upon kill: 50,000 Drops: ??? Skill is too low levelled to excess more info.
Holy crap, this Lycran is no pushover! (at least for the low levelled Poopy) In fright, the golem started running, leaving the slightly squished (and in pain) beetle to fend for itself.
WARNING: YOUR PET IS FEELING ABUSED! Abuse Metre: 1/10 Hitting 10 will cause the pet to to no longer be a pet.
The insect was indignified and hurt. Why was its master so heartless? The beetle bolted away in Poopy''s direction, forcefully spearing up the golem since Poopy wasn''t as fast and could use a boost.
You pet has picked you up with its horn! -192 HP
"OW! OW! OW! STOP!" Yelled Poopy. The beetle did not comply. Honestly though, the spearing was a better alternative to getting killed. That golem should really be more appreciative. As it struggled on the horn of the running beetle as the Lycran chased, Poopy decided that today was not the best day ever, but the worse day ever. Annihilation (Chapter 24) "Leader! A huge battleship is flying over the Lyscendian Forest! The Staller Squad is already fighting to hold the invaders off!" Shouted a scout as he ran into the meeting room, waving his arms frantically. "Elite Squad, assemble!" Shouted Atteus a split second after the scout announced his message. (He''s a quick thinker) "Buuuutt Atters, we arrrree alreeeaaady asseeembleeed..." Mumbled the half asleep Reyna. "Shut up!" Atteus turned his head to shout at Reyna."Now get going!" He turned back to the other elite members. "Yes sir!"Roaredthe squad in union (save for a few people like Reyna) They readied their weapons and equipment, charging out of the roomwith Atteus who led the charge flying mid-air. He could have moved many times faster, but he didn''t want to leave most of the guild members in the dust. ~~~~~ Atteus and Reyna were first to arrive at the scene of the fighting. It seemed that Atteus got impatient of slowing down for the sake of the elite squad. "The guild leader!" "Thank goodness!" "Finally!" (etc...) Cries of excitement sounded from the battered Staller Squad. Granted, they weren''teven close to death since they focused onthe DEFand HP stat, butbeing cut and bruised by buff Lycrans was pretty much torture. Ideally (since they were all of a taming guild), the squad members should have been healing and support classes using pets with powerful defence. But unfortunately, most talented healers oped to join theKhantas'' Divine Paladinsguild. As such, Atteus had to settle for the next best thing: the TankyBattlers&Support Pets build (aka TBSP). Now that the leader arrived, they would get some proper firepower to wipe out the pesky foes who tortured them!But all of a sudden, the guild leader hopped right over the army of Stallers, rightinto the frontlines to the shock of the Stallers. "Aggro!" Yelled Atteus. Immediately all the Lycrans stoppedattacking their original targets and fixed their hollow eye-sockets upon him. The army of hundreds charged towards the lone mage. "Ahhh!" The warriors at the side yelped. They quickly rushed before Atteus to form a protective wall to protect him. How could they let the guild leader get hurt or even killed? "Idiots!" He shouted. With a swing of his hand, his own subordinateswere flung to the side by a powerful gust of wind. As the Lycran prepared to swing its axe at him, the wizard looked in contempt. "Annihilate!" BOOM! With a single attack, the great Lycran army was gone(at least, the Lycrans that were in range). All that was left was a great blackened crater where there used to be lush vegetation. Standing before the smoking hole, Atteus turned around and smirked, tipping his hat.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. "Piece of cake." He said. "Bravo!" "Holy crap you''re awesome!" "Amazing!" "Uwaahhhh!" The army of Stallers cheered for him,showering him with praise. They had no idea the guild master was this powerful! (the guild master is rarely seen fighting) "Show off." Said Reyna. Atteus ignored her.
Annihilation. -5,000,000 MP. 123 Targets eliminated. +9,240,192 EXP Quest Complete! (x123) F tier: Subdue 1 minor Lycran Reward: 123Raid Token Quest Complete! (x12) E tier: Subdue 10 minor Lycrans Reward: 144Raid Tokens Quest Complete! (x6) D: Subdue 20 minor Lycrans Reward: 180Raid Tokens
"Huh..." He muttered. "These were only minor Lycrans according to the quests." "What! How can this be!" Shouted a nearly young man who was beaten black and blue and covered in gashes. "As expected, a raid event personally announced by the system isn''t going to be that easy." Atteus continued to mumble. Patter patter patter! The leader turned to the side, seeing that the elite squad had finally arrived. The newly arrived squad stood before the crater, unfazed. They already knew of the prowess of the guild master since they fought with him often in tough quests. As a few more Lycrans landed, the elite squad realised that the Lycrans could be dispatchedwith a few attacks; they were nothing but weaklings. "Pfft!" A white haired man holding a Bokken scoffed, digging his nose. "So the raid only amounted to this? Who''d want to tame monsters as junky as these?" "Don''t be cocky! These are just minor Lycrans!" Atteus said. (most people have disabled the blue boxes in combat so they didn''t see the quest prompt) "Good! I came here for the challenge!" The cocky man said. THUMP! BANG! BAM! As if to answer the call of the white haired man, dozens of Lycrans began to fall from above yet again. One of them fell before him. It was a brown skinned Lycran who was as tall as two men with a lone eye mounted on its featureless face where the nose would normally be at, a lot more intimidating than the previous white Lycrans. "Swordman''s Furry! Furious Slashes!" Sensing that the new Lycran that fell before it was no pushover, the man unleashed the most powerful skills he had in succession. x2 DMG! -1,991,624 HP! "No, impossible!" The swordman yelled. The health bar that floated above the brown Lycran was only lowered by around a fifth; not to mention that more than half of his damage was negated by the sheer amount of defence the monster had! "SCRRRREEEEEKKKK!" The brown Lycran somehow managed to unleash a deathly scream despite the lack of a mouth, swinging its fist at full force toward the inflictor of its pain. "Reflect!" Cast Atteus to defend the swordman who was frozen in fright.
Reflected! -50,000 MP. Target HP -1,245,023.
"Stun!" He continued.
Foe stunned! -5000 MP
Without hesitation, the mage reached into his pocket and fished out a scan stone to gather more information about the beast.
Entry 10492: Cyclops Lycran Level: 70 Species:Lycran Element: None HP: 6,763,353 MP: 0 STR: 10,000,000 MAG: 0 DEX: 300 AGI: 300 DEF: 300,000 INT: 80 Passive Skills: Tough Skin, Tough Luck: Negates 50% of damage dealt to it. Status effect spells have a 50% chance to miss when cast on it. Skills: Killer Punches: Every punch does as much DMG as its STR for 5 seconds. Cooldown: 1 min.
Atteus wasn''t about a lot of things, but he was now sure about one thing. This raid was not going to be easy. Monster Tries To Buy Stuff From A Humans Shop (Chapter 25) Lurking around in a random part of the forest was our ''beloved'' golem. Having escaped earlier with the help of the beetle, Poopy was actually quite grateful after it calmed down. In fact, the beetle now had an extra large ball of dung speared onto its horn as thanks! Just as the golem settled down and prepared to collect another pile of turd, it heard loud footsteps from afar. An army ofbattered warriors covered in bruises and cuts soon settled down mere metres away from Poopy to have their lunch break and heal up. Numerous support type pets wandered around, slowly treating the wounds of the soldiers. They were the Stallers! Poopy watched curiously out of sight, tempted to attack. But it had learnt its lesson, knowing that there were many foes with enough MAG to resist it. As it pondered about what it could do, the golem got an ''excellent'' idea. Since it could tame the beetle with such ease, couldn''t it just try to tame all of them? (fyi, taming works only on different species, so its possible for a monster to tame a human if it somehow learnt a taming class)
I''m speechless. Seriously? 38 pending requests...
"What the hell?" "Hmm?!" "What is this bullshit?" Many cries of shock soon soon filled the air.
38 requests rejected. What did you expect?
"A monster!" Concluded a random Staller. "It must be mocking us!" "Kill it!" As the prideful warriors stormed around in an attempt to find the offender, Poopy was quite upset. Wasn''t the taming process super easy?
Obviously not. MostDruids have to spend long amounts of time to befriend creatures first before they can tame them! What do you expect? Your Scarab ''friend'' here was just a damned FLUKE!
''Oh.'' thought Poopy. Itdecided toscale a tree by clinging on to the dung beetle as the insect climbed up the tree. The golem reasoned that those two legged beings shouldn''t be able to get up. Plus, the leaves were good cover. The people searched for a few minutes, but were unsuccessful. As the warriors were unable to find Poopy, they soon went back to their camp to enjoy their lunch, thinking that it was just a prank from an intelligent monster. Realising that the Stallers were unable to find it. the mischievous golem decided to spend all of its 200 Stat Points onMAG before attempting to steal their dung. (In actuality, Poopy would have succeeded anyway due to the Stallers only putting points intoDEFandVIT.)
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.You have ripped the dung out of 38 humans. Failed to do so on their pets due to lack of MAG. -380 MP. The target''sDEFis too high to get hurt. The target''sDEFis too high to get hurt. The target''sDEFis too high to get hurt. The target''s DEF... Read More? .... Level Up! Congratulations, you are now level 10! Milestone hit, EXP requirements are now 250% more and Stat Point gain is now increased on future levels! +50 Stat Points. +50 Max HP. +50 Max MP. .... Level Up! Congratulations, you are now level 14! +100 Stat Points. +50 Max HP. +50 Max MP.
(AN: Poopy has 3103/5400 EXP right now and has just gained 600 SP, 400HPand 400MP.) The Stallers squealed in alarm, but not in pain like Poopy''s other victims. Their defence was too high for that. Heck, you can say they even got aperfectgut cleansing for free! Good for them I guess. Despite that, the Stallers were alarmed and angry. "It''s up there!" Shouted a man who saw the poop fly up into the canopy of one of the trees. The Stallers quickly rallied their support pets to climb up (or fly) the tree, but the golem was already long gone. "Hey, I feel a lot lighter on the inside! How nice of... whatever that was!" ''Realised'' one of the Stallers. (If only they knew) "Ah! We could have captured it for cleansing treatments!" Shouted one of the business minded ones. "What a pity!" ~~~~~ Meanwhile, their target was soaring high in the sky. No, Poopy did not learn how to fly. It was holding onto one of the legs of the scarab as it flew. "Wooaaah!" Marvelled the golem at the sight. While appreciating the scenery, Poopy realised that it still had to get back to the guild to save Yowi! It directed ''Buggy'' to fly right towards the guild. Or at least, it would have if it knew what the guild looked like; it only hovered over a random part of the city. Having escaped through the toilet, the golem had not seen how the exterior of the building looked. ''System! Can you help me find Yowi, please?'' thought Poopy to the system.
Aww, so reliant on me when you need me? Where did the feisty attitude go? I''m not helping you, that''s cheating. Go to a shop and buy a map or something. Here, I''ll even show you the way, just this once. (Lopia is the city you are flying above.)
Poopy was angry. Very angry. Showing directions is to the guild cheating? Why is showing directions to the shop okay then? Not to mention, this map was obviously lazily done and with minimal effort. Even the clueless Poopy could tell that. There was no way it was going to be able to tell exactly where to go like that! But the golem was proven wrong as the beetle continued to fly. The ''X'' of ''you are here'' was shifted accordingly as Poopy flew, which was quite convenient. Still, Poopy felt like the system could have done a job waaaaay better. The duo soon landed before the shop. It was a fancy looking place, but I won''t go into details. All you need to know is that the building was two stories tall and had a glass gate at the entrance. This convenience store would be bustling with people on a regular day, but most of the citizens were cowering at home out of fear from the raid notification. Poopy put its dirty, poopy hands on the metal handles of the glass gate and pulled it open. "Welcome! It''s a littl- AHHHHHHHHH!" The lady at the counter cheerfully greeted before fully turning over; she then screamed as she realising what entered her shop. "What? Why are you screaming? I''m just here to buy a map!" Poopy frowned, confused. As it watched the woman continue to shout and even take out a strange device and pressing on it, Poopy was sure that the human lady had gone nuts. What bad luck! Monster Robs Shop Because It Had No Money (Chapter 26) Ignoring the ''crazy screaming lady'', the golem decided to look around for the map scrolls. Unfortunately for the lady, the maps were placed on the counter to be sold for maximum convenience (since ''everyone needs a map''). As Poopyhoppedonto the counter, she screamed harder. (She assumed that the smelly monster was about to attack.) "Shut up! You are so noisy!" Shouted Poopy. It hopped onto the counter, grabbing the map.
Lopia Map. On sale for 500 100 gold!
BUY?
YES NO
Apparently, the golem had no idea what buy meant. (As expected of an uncivilised monster.) It hit ''YES'' despite being penniless.
Sorry (not), but you have no money lol.
''lol''? What does that mean? Poopy had no idea. But it had a strong feeling that the term was not something very nice. Also, it still didn''t know what money meant. Unsure of what to do but knowing it needed the map, the golem decided to just grab the map and walk out. No one was gonna stop it, right?
You have been branded as a (minor) criminal by Lopia! Allhumancities and towns will now list you as part of the wanted and will attempt to apprehend you! Reward for capture: 1,000 gold. PS: You could pay a fine of 1,000 gold as a fine toremoveyourself from the wanted list though.
Wait... All the humans were now out to get it? Poopy didn''t like the sound of that. The golem quickly took out the stolen map to read as the dung beetle took off holding it. As it flew toward theMonster Collector Guild, Poopy thought of something: Weren''t the humans after it the whole time regardless of what it did? The thought reassured it. (But honestly, I think it should have been horrified instead by the realisation that people are still going to chase it whether it did anything wrong.) Also, the map was fully detailed unlike the crappy map the system offeredso Poopy found to be very satisfactory.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. Soon, the beetle landed before the guild. Or it would have if Poopy was dumb enough to command it to. Why fly to an entrance with guards when you can just fly in through a window? The golem had flown into a corridor, so it began to wander. As it began to get bored by the ''endless corridors'' (It got lost and even retraced it''s path a few times to it found the corridors more endless than they would have been normally), Poopy caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Yowi! Smelling the scent of the cat, Poopy started smashing on a door (where the scent came from) with gusto, but unfortunately only left dung stains due to how squishy it was. BANG!
Your pet usedHorn Stabon anEnchantedWooden Door! Critical hit! Target EDR -3000. The rusty lock broke.
(That''s some serious luck right there. It''s almost as if SOMEONE was manipulating fate to get the story to flow...) Marching into the room with a''menacing'' metal scarab, Poopy confronted a frightened cat. And who else would it be but Tiger? Reacting quickly, Poopy quicklycastPoop Control.
You have ripped the dung right out of your target. -1 MP. -45 Target HP.
Tiger yowled in pain, falling towards the ground. The cat felt very wronged. Why did the world seem against it lately? Nothing good seemed to be happening. Meanwhile, the golem was sniffing the room carefully, soon realising that Yowi had already left. Sniffing even harder, Poopy realised that it could even smell where the cat had passed by! The only issue was that the ''smell paths'' outside Reyna''s room lead both left and right. Deciding to try its luck, Poopy headed right. They say that right is right, right? Soon, Poopy stumbled upon an upset, tired looking man. Sensing danger, the golem cast its ''ultimate move'' again!
The target''sMAGis too high forPoop Controlto take effect on it. -1 MP. The target is now aware of you.
Damn it! Without hesitation, Poopy hopped onto the beetle and commanded the insect to run away as fast as it could. "It''s you! Stop right there!" The man snapped out of his dazed and chased. The golem recognised his voice. It was the Caretaker who guard the cages! (As it turned out, right wasn''t right.) Obviously, Poopy was not going to let itself be stuck in that hellish place again. It still needed to save Yowi! The beetle and Caretaker Henry raced for Poopy''s freedom. But the golem realised that Henry was faster, and was soon going to catch up! But the crafty creature had a bright idea.
You have tossed 8 balls of dung! -9 MP.
"What the-" Henry was interrupted by a smelly ball spattering over his face. Unable to see, the poor salaryman slipped on apile of dung that hit the ground before his feet and fell onto his face. He groaned miserably. But out offearthat he would lose his job, the man had no choice but to get up and keep chasing! Opening A LootCrate (Chapter 27) Right now, the golem was carefully prowling the toadstool shaped house where the cat and the bunny resided. If an outsider were to see this, it was quite likely that someone would think it was a stalker of sorts. Now, you might be wondering why it was now at it''s birthplace all of a sudden, instead of escaping Henry in the Monster Collector Guild. Well, long story short; it managed to escape from Henry so it followed Yowi''s scent all the way to the the city portal and entered it, teleporting to the Beginner''s Town. It then continued to follow the scent all the way back to forest and all the way to the house. But knowing that Yowi was actually very close to the ''very bad kidnapper'', Poopy decided to wait for an opportunity. Meanwhile, ''Buggy'' wandered around in the unfamiliar forest, going in search of ''exotic cuisine''. But stilling down to waiting with nothing to do is quite boring, so the golem decided to allocate its 600SP.
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 14
Species Human Dung Golem
Gender None
Age 3 Days
HP 1781/1781
MP 2453/2453
Name Value
STR 134
MAG 700
DEX 10
AGI 453
DEF 5
INT 100
Name Level Progress
Druid 2 2%
Name Level Progress
PC 8 77.7%
BBC 2 50%
S 1 94%
I 1 0%
Pl C 2 0%
... More ...
For the first time ever, Poopy decided to allocate its stats properly;it put 300 SPintoAGIand the other 300 intoMAG. With AGI,Poopy reasoned that it would need to run fast ifit didn''t have enoughMAGtolaunchit''s ''ultimate attack'' on the enemy. The other points put intoMAG were self-explanatory. Since the stat allocation was over, the golem had nothing to do. So it just satthere. It got quite bored. So bored, it fell asleep in 46 minutes. Well, that would have completely screwed up its plan, but fortunately, ourpesky dearest system was here to ping it after a five morehours!
Lycran Raid Event Success!Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. You are the No.358 in Lopia and No.63,429,949 in the world! That''s the last place by the way. The raid shop is totally gonna close in like 10 hours so you better get your shit together and buy something with your 1RT! For getting the last place, you get aRare Lootcrate! Honestly, I''m not sure why it''s calledRare since it''s actually the second worstLootCrate out in the world(it also gives crappy stuff most of the time). To claim yourRare LootCrate, just open your inventory. Just shoutInventoryor something. I''m honestly surprised you got this far without using it.
8 parasitic plants have taken root on you! Plant species:Ironvine +50DEF +100 HP The Ironvine has become a bound plant! You can now control it and manage its SP.
Poopy groaned, grumbling at being woken by a ping. It then quickly jumped up in shock, realising that it accidentally fell asleep! Since the golem had slumbered close to the door and was not awoken by an attack either Yowi or Yue, Poopy knew that none of the two had exited the house yet. Gratitude filled its heart (wait, does it have one?). For the first time ever, Poopy felt kinda appreciative to the system. Reading both the windows, Poopy was quite delighted. The vines finally sprouted! Thinking about the last times plants had sprouted on it, the golem wondered if plants only grew on it as it slept. But to be sure, it had to conduct the test a few more times. As of now, the vines wrapped around it were still green and tender. Poopy decided to try outPlant Growth on them.
The growth of 8 Ironvines have been speed up. -800 MP. The 8 Ironvines have started to turn woody. +50 DEF Level Up! Congratulations, yourDruid Classis now level 2! +100 MAG
800 MP? The golem was shocked. That was a third of it''s total mana! It''d not thought that such a simple spell would take up so much mana. At least it seemed to provide a lot ofEXPfor the Druid class. The golem decided to only use the spell when it''s MP is full to conserve the rest for survival. Now that the vines were dealt with, Poopy decided to check out whatever it just got. ''Inventory!''
Inventory (+)
1xRare LootCrate
1xLopia Map
Ok. But the golem still didn''t know how to take items out or put things in. Poopy decided to just ask the system directly.
TG:Using the inventory is quite simple! Simply click on the (+) button to put things in and click on the items to take them out. Hope that helps.
Simple enough. Poopy clicked on the ''1xRare LootCrate'' and a iron box materialised before Poopy. It was very simple, only consisting of a cover and a retangular body devoid of decorations. The golem tried to lift it up but found the box rather heavy, so it left the container on the ground. Next, it tried to prise the lid open, but before it could exert any strength, a window appeared before it.
OpenRare LootCrate?
Yes No
Seconds after the golem hit ''Yes'', the box began to shudder and shake. Summon O Summons? More Like... Staff O Foods! (Chapter 28) Bang! Finally, the box opened, shooting out a ball of light that floated just a dozen centimetres atop the box. Poopy watched in excitement as the glow faded revealing a...
Congratulations! You got a Rare LootCrate!
Wat. The golem stared blankly at the duplicate floating in the air, speechless. Is this a joke?! Poopy reassured itself. At least it got an extra empty metal box, right? It wasn''t sure what it could do with it, but that''s better than nothing... Poof... The extra casing turned into a cloud of dust, fully disintegrated. Poopy: ...
OpenRare LootCrate?
Yes No
(Yes)
Congratulations! You got aRare LootCrate!
Well that was it! The golem was now a hundred percent sure that this dumb box was a troll item. In actuality though, it just got really lucky or unlucky, depending on how you look at it. The chance to get aRare LootCrate from aRare LootCratewas 1%, so it pretty much hit the ''jackpot'' twice. But since Poopy was unaware of that, it got angry. It mustered up all it''sstrength and somehow managed to lift it, tossing the box away as far as it could. It wasn''t going to clutter it''s inventory with something that useless! BANG! "Whuat dat?" It heard somecat meow. Well, that didn''t go according to plan. Poopy quickly ducked behind a tree as it heard pawsteps from inside the miniature house. As Yowi pranced out of his home, he saw a huge metal box (it looked huge to him, around half his size). And like any sensible creature in a LitRPG world, it scanned the metal box.
Rare LootCrate. Open it to get some random goodies fromCommon-Rare! 0.01% chance to get anEpicitem. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.(May include joke items)
"Yew! Yue! Come look at dis!" Mewed the kitty. He wasn''t sure why this box popped out of the blue, but he was definitely going to take it. "Iam busy!" Replied the bunny. "Chu come!" "No!" "Yas!" "Noohhhh!" After a few minutes of ''convincing'' Yue (AKA meowing "Yas!" until she complied), Yowi finally got the bunny out of the house. "What izzit?" Asked the very annoyed bunny. "Box gibraare iteems!" Yowi answered enthusiastically as he pointed a paw to the dull metal box. "Whut?" Yue scanned the box. "Noice." "Whuo open?" Asked the cat. "Up two yew." Answered the bunny. So like the excitable creature he was, the kitten hit the ''Yes'' button. The box started to shudder and shake like it''s predecessors, but this time with a purple light. It then started to float a metre high in the air, high above the heads of the duo. KABAM! The box then exploded into shards, sending the kitty and the bunny into a panic. They started to bolt, only to soon realise that the shards were harmless, dissipating into powder upon contact with anything.
Congratulations! You got anEpic Staff O'' Summons! Staff O'' Summons LVL: 0 +50,000 MAG Weapon Skill: Otherworldly Summons Summons a selected creature or plant from a random world! (Charges: 2) (Charge Cooldown: 30 mins) (100-100,000,000 MP)
The staff then hit the ground unceremoniously. The two froze in shock for a second. In excitement, Yue rushed up first to grab it. "Sammon karrot!" She squeaked.
Kajoh Carrot has been summoned from Selous! -1000 MP. (Did you know Alan himself grew it in his farm? Awesome, isn''t it?) Kajoh Carrot LVL: 0 Species: Carrot (Plant) HP: 50 MP: 5000 MAG: 500 DEF: 5 INT: 3 Benefits: +500 Max MP +5000 MP +10,000 EXP
A purplish carrot that smelled quite pleasant popped out of thin air and landed before the bunny. She quickly began to nibble on it, relishing it''s taste. Seeing Yue''s delight, Yowi prounced towards, the staff, wanting some of the action. "Summon fesh!" Meowed the cat.
Angler Fishhas been summoned fromEarth! -200 MP. (Beautiful isn''t it? Hah.) Angler Fish LVL: 0 Species: Lophiiformes HP: 500 MP: 0 STR: 200 DEX: 10 AGI: 50 DEF: 5,000,000 INT: 30 EXP upon kill: 1000
A ghastly fish with small beady eyes and a huge gaping mouth full of sharp teeth materialised in the air. Yowi screeched in horror, hopping back with his fur raised. But the creature died quickly since it was out of the deep oceans. The cat soon got over his fear, sampling the bizarre fish. The head was to hard to be eaten properly, but Yowi found the rest of the parts rather tasty. As the two feasted, Poopy watched in shock, regret and anger. What nonsense is this? It was the one who earned it, so why was it unable to reap the rewards? Watching the two, Poopy had gotten the wrong idea of what the staff was used for, thinking it was a food stuff. It drooled as it thought of all the poop it could have gotten. At least Yowi was seemed to be enjoying the fish... If theMonster Collector Guildwere to know that the three were thinking such a powerful staffwas only good for summoning foods, they would have been utterly outraged. Chased Out Of Home Again (Chapter 29) But as the two feast, the golem realised that this was a perfect chance! Doing it''s best at stealth, Poopy quietly snuck into the entrance of the house, carefully using PC to remove its ''dungprints''.By some miracle, the smelly thing was actually able to make it into the house without being detected.Yowi and Yue must have been too absorbed in eating or something, since I''m fairly such cats and rabbits have a strong sense of smell. As itcrept about in the abode, the golem recalled that Yowi was once tied up in one of the rooms. It silently entered the room, hiding under the bed. ~~~~~ "Yammi!" The kitty rubbed his tummy as he finished his meal. Yue however was still nibbling on the carrot since rabbits don''t eat very fast. "I go bak furst!" Said Yowi as he headed back home, having stowed the staff into his inventory. "Meep!" Answered Yue, holding the carrot as shefollowed. There wasn''t any reason to eat outside, so she decided to return as well. As the cat had been sleeping before the golem caused the loud bang, Yowi decided to head back to his room and continue sleeping. Yowi entered his room, about to hop onto his bed. But suddenly, a whiff of a familiar yet unpleasant scent entered his nostrils. But what was it? Yowi couldn''t quite put his paw on it. Meanwhile, Poopy was panicking. To think that it got the wrong room! But honestly, it shouldn''t have a big surprise. Why would Yue restrain Yowi on her bed when she could tie him up on his bed instead? At this very instant, the cat turned his head to see the golem lurking beneath his bed with a panicked expression. "Wai yew here agein, smelly munster? Git Oout!" Yowi hissed. "Oh. Sorry." Poopy crawled out from the bed and headed out of the room, closing the door. Just as it was about to try a different room again, Yowi stood behind it, watching. Well, that sucked. Poopy was shooed out all the way without a way to enact ''vengeance'' upon Yue. But now, the golem was now concerned about a bigger issue? How was it going to get Yowi to accept it? As it sat down and thought, it thought of something: The cat called it a smelly monster! Realisation hit it. Wasn''t the reason why other creature were so freaked out by it because it was smelly and ugly? It had been using that to it''s advantage previously, but now it wished that it never had that trait. But without a solution in mind, Poopy could only ask the system for help. ''How can I stop being smelly and ugly?''Poopy thought to the system.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.TG: Ahem. System doesn''t want to talk to you. But no worries, I can help! For the part about being smelly, I think you can solve it by planting fragrant plants all over yourself. That should solve that issue. For the other part about looking gross, I think shifting into another form withPoop Control might help. You can also cover yourself with moss to help hide your poopy ''skin texture''. Heck, imagine if the moss was a fragrant type on its own! That''s like killing two birds with one stone! Ah wait, you don''t know any idioms. Er... Like doing two tasks while only using enough effort to complete a task! .... Goddess, that came out horrid! I''m ashamed of myself. Well in any case, I hope I''ve been of help to you my friend!
''Thanks!'' Thought the golem. TG was being helpful as usual. Maybe next time it should just ask TG directly when it had any questions. Now the only issue was how it was going to find the plants to disguise itself. The job would have been a lot easier if it had theStaff O'' Summons. Alas. It could only blame itself for throwing the crate away. As it thought about how sucky things were and if only it had gotten the staff, it realised that more LootCrates were on sale in the raid shop! ''Shop!''
Raid Shop Your Raid Tokens: 1 RandomLootCrate (1RT) Iron Sword (1RT) Egg (1RT) Eggplant (1RT) RareLootCrate (10RTs) Rare''Metal'' Sword (10RTs) RareWoodenStaff (10RTs) EpicEgg Beater (20RTs) Big Fish (30RTs) EpicLootCrate (100RTs) Mysterious Egg (100RTs) Scallion Pancake (101RTs) EpicIron Sword (150RTs) EpicMagic+ Staff (150RTs) 100 x 100cm Lycran Skin Sheet (1000RTs) 1 Kg Dark Matter (1000RTs) LegendaryLootCrate (1100RTs) LegendaryWeaponLootCrate (1500RTs) LegendaryArmour LootCrate (1500RTs) LegendaryWish FulfilmentLootCrate (2000RTs) UniqueLootCrate (100,000RTs) Any Lv100LegendaryEquipment (100,000RTs) Big Egg (1,000,000RTs) Rarity Evolution Orb (2,000,000RTs) UniqueWeapon LootCrate (3,000,000RTs) Token Of Bodily Rebirth (4,000,000RTs) UniqueWish FulflmentLootCrate (5,000,000RTs) +5,000,000 STR (5,000,000RTs) +5,000,000 MAG (5,000,000RTs) +500,000 DEF (5,000,000RTs) +50,000,000 HP (5,000,000RTs) +5,000,000 MP (5,000,000RTs)
Without hesitation Poopy selected RandomLootCrate (1RT). It would have liked to buy a better one, but what''s done is done. It didn''t linger around long enough to hunt more Lycrans, so it could only regret that now.
OpenRandomLootCrate?
Yes No
Retrying The Dungeon (Chapter 30)
Congratulations! You got a mysterious Octahedronal Box!
The box shot out of theLootCrate, landing with a soft thud on the ground. But this one was unlike a normal octahedron, hence the title of ''octahedronal''. It was like a cube, but with all eight corners chipped off, making each of the six faces octagons. In the center of each of the six octagons was an empty slot, as if something was meant to be fit in. Our protagonist stared at it, speechless. ''Scan!''
Octahedronal Box Wow, such mystery. Please insert lotsa stuff in slots please thank you.
The golem sighed. Of course. No way the system was going to give it anything good. It plucked one of the smallerLuminous Mushroomsthat grew on it off, then stuffed it roughly into one of the of the holes.
OB: Ooof! Mushroom taste bad!
The box then exploded into a cloud of dust.
Kaboom. +1000 MP.
How useful...Poopy then checked its stats to see how much mana it had now.
Info Stats Class Skills
Name Poopy
Level 14
Species Human Dung Golem
Gender None
Age 3 Days
HP 1881/1881
MP 2573/2353
Name Value
STR 134
MAG 800
DEX 10
AGI 453
DEF 105
INT 100
Name Level Progress
Druid 2 51.6%
Name Level Progress
PC 8 83.3%
BBC 5 50%
S 1 98%
I 1 10%
PG 1 10%
... More ...
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.2573/2353 MP. The golem thought to itself about how inconvenient it was to have to bring up the stat menu every time it wanted to know how muchMP/HPit had.
TG:Just think ''bar'' to yourself the next time you only want to check your status!
''I see.'' Thought the golem. With it''s surpax of 2573 MP, the golem decided to continue developing the vines.
The growth of 8 Ironvines have been speed up. -800 MP. The 8 Ironvines have turned woody! +200 DEF Level Up! Congratulations, yourDruid Classis now level 3! +100 MAG
Now that the ''chores'' were done, Poopy glanced wispfully back at the toolstool-like house. If only it could find a suited moss right away! Alas, such moss are quite rare and unlikely to be found. It''s true that any moss would do to disguise it, but it was fairly unlikely that the typical slimy green moss would make it be better accepted. But first, Poopy had something important to attend to. You might have long forgotten, but the golem could still recall the ''heavenly smell'' that wafted out of depths of the dungeon. So as you might expect, the golem headed to the entrance of the dungeon. The golem stared at the vines in nostalgia. Two days might not have been a long time for you and I, but it was certainly a very long time ago for a three day old creature. Had it not had the ability to smell out the location of dung with ridiculous accuracy, it would never have found the dungeon. But first, it had to recall ''Buggy''! Who knewwhat dangers it would face deeper down? The Scarab soon rushed over. Poopy could sense that it was quite upset (from an interrupted meal), but it perked up all of a sudden. It could sense that there was some poop of extremely high quality inside! The golem was enlightened. So that''s why there was such a ''wonderful smell''! "Let''s go!" Said Poopy to its pet.
You have entered [Unnamed] - Lv8 Newbie Dungeon
The golem was a little surprised that the dungeon had levelled up while it was gone, but didn''t think much of it. Poopy and its pet headed down the long narrow tunnel, soon reaching the same bat cave. But to it''s surprised, the cave was now full of bats yet again! It seemed that someone did not know that dungeon mobs respawn. ''Control!''
You have ripped the dung right out of 35 Lv2 Bats. -35 MP. Your opponent hasbeen defeated. +5 EXP. Your opponent hasbeen defeated. +2 EXP. Your opponent hasbeen defeated. 3EXP Your opponent has been... Read More? Poop Control levelled up! Total gains: 105 EXP
The golem frowned. Why did the same group net so much lesser EXP?
TG: If you are more than 5 levels higher than your foe, the EXP drops be lessened. But if you hunt a higher level foe, you will get bonus EXP.
Well, that was disappointing. The golem then continued further down the passage, entering the room where theDrumstick Abominationresided. Plehplehprueeeeleeeeeee! The same ''faulty recorder'' noise sounded out again. Buggy made an odd vibrating sound, preparing to charge at the monster, but Poopy stopped it. Sure, a single attack from the beetle would probably destroy the beast, but the golem wanted revenge for itself. It had lost terribly to the horrid foe the last time, but it was now a lot stronger! "You beat me badly the last tim-" Started Poopy proudly only to be slammed in the chest with a heard punch. "Ow!"
You have been punched by your target, but your DEF is too high to be affected (much)! -1 HP.
"What?" Poopy was confused for a second, then recalled that the Ironvine did increase it''s defences. The golem was very pleased. Who knew that the vines would be so useful? Honestly, it was really pitiful for the golem to be so proud of being able to defeat such a low tiered mob. It continued to pummel the abomination, slowly and surely beating the monster into a pulp. The poor thing was unable to even resist.
Drumstick Abomination defeated! +500 EXP Drops: Wooden Chest
"Hah! Suck on that!" Said the golem triumphantly. It then opened the chest full of teeth andgot its head bitten off. Dungeon Loot (Chapter 31)
Decapitated! You have lost 506 HP!
But of course, the golem was unable to register the notification. It was currently unable to see. Buggy immediately rushed to its master''s defence, instantly destroying the teethy chest with aHorn Stab. The insect circled the golem worriedly. It instinctively knew that the head was the most vital part of the body. Not for the brainless monster though.UsingPC, Poopy regrew its head.
Mimic slain! +100 EXP (+400 EXP toBuggy) Drops: 500 Gold Rusty Iron Sword
Now that its vision had returned, the golem could finally see the notification before it. It took the sword out of its inventory and scanned it.
Rusty Iron Sword Lvl: 1 +100 ATK Weapon Skill: Tetanus 20% chance to infect organic targets with a slow but deadly diseaseafter inflicting wounds on them. Scan levelled up!
''Huh.'' Thought the golem. It''d never tried attacking its foes with weapons. It soon continued down further down the tunnels towards the source of the smell, conveniently slaying random monsters it came across, fairly odd ones in fact. One of them was even a walking teapot that shot hot acidic tea at it! This dungeon was certainly very... creative. With the help of its overly powerful pet and new weapon, Poopy soon reached its destination with ease. It''d learntBasic Swordsmanship along the way and gained some experience. Before the duo laid an old festering corpse. But not just any old corpse. It was that of a dragon. Now, any typical person would have been beyond words, pratically exploding with excitement. Who could blame them? Think of all the top tier equipment that they could made with it! And if they wanted to, they could sell the corpse as well, making enough money to let them live in luxury their whole lives!Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. The golem however, was more interested in remaining gunk in the bum of the majestic creature. It extracted the now dried dung, leaving all the pieces before it and the beetle. For a second, Poopy considered taking it all for itself. But it decided to share some with the beetle. It wasn''t that heartless! It sat down to slowly enjoy its portion.
Due to the dung being old and dried, EXP gain has been reduced by 300000%. +22200 EXP. Level Up! (x4) Congratulations, you are now level 18! +400 Stat Points +200 Max HP +200 Max MP
It was like a piece of divine jerky to the golem. The golem waited for the beetle to enjoy its share but decided that that took too long; the golem simply marched out rooms and corridors and out of the dungeon. (The dungeon was very glad the invader did not take the corpse away.) ''TG, do you know where I can find a proper moss?''Thought the golem.
TG: Hmm. Let me conduct a search... Aha! I recommend going to the Old Ruins: Nature''s Haven. It''s an area that''s not accessible by most creatures, but druids, natural golems, peaceful wildlife and etc can enter! You happen to fulfil two requirements by the way. There''s a lot of unique plants growing in there, so there''s a good chance you''ll find something you want.
''Thanks, but directions?''
UpgradeLopia MaptoCountry Map (Koltp)? Cost: 500 Gold
Yes No
Poopy didn''t have anything better to do with its cash so it had no qualms about blowing all its earnings on a map. After it hit ''Yes'', the golem took the map out of its inventory. The map was now updated, scaling up to an enormous size.As it turned out, the Old Ruinswas quite a distance away. Along the way, it would pass the Kingdom Of Fluffies, theChive Emporiumand theDeathly Crypts, but Poopy wasn''t going to any of these places, at least not yet. Poopy recalled the beetle and hitched a ride on it as it flew. The golem admired the scenery along the way. Almost a pity that you''d be unable to see it. The duo flew towards theOld Ruins, slowly but surely. Many hours passed, but they still had kilometres to the ruins. That was mostly because the beetle got hungry and insisted on searching for food. Long story short, it took a while for thescarab to find and finish its meal. And by the all that was done, Poopy was tired and decided to sleep. The Old Ruins (Chapter 32)
Welcome tothe[Old Ruins]! Naus permits your entry. ---------- Hello! Please go through the front gates, don''t fly in over the walls. Thank you! Best regards: Naus, Goddess Of Nature
Before the golem was the walls and the gate of a castle. The walls were worn down and covered in cracks, moss and vine. It could even see birds, squirrels and whatnot on the vine covered walls. The rusty and vine covered gate had a faceless statue that was also covered in moss in front of it, probably worn down by time. It was clear that no one had bothered to clean or maintain the castle, hence the title of ''Ruins''. "Excuse me? How do I get in?" Asked Poopy. It wasn''t the biggest fan of talking, but it had gotten bored of circling the walls in search of a different gate. This was obviously the front gate (since it was the only gate), so it hoped someone would respond. "So you have come... young one."whisperedthe statue. Poopy nearly jumped in fright, but managed to compose itself. "So how do I get in?" it asked. "Oh, that''s just an automatic gate. It''ll open on its own once you walk in front of it!" laughed the statue. The golem was rendered speechless. It was that simple? Why not just remove the gate then? It walked in front of the gate, and lo and behold! It rumbled and began to open... then got stuck on a rather thick vine. "Oh dear!" cried the statue as it moved away from its pose. (Poopy was quite surprised that it could move.) It walked towards vine, and tried to pull it out, but that wasn''t working since the gate was still trying to open itself, giving the vine a death-choke. "Silly door! Why can''t you havean off button?" bemoaned the struggling statue. Poopy couldn''t help but think that the moving statue wasn''t very bright. "Why not just cut the vine?" it asked. "What? No!" the statue somehow managed to looked horrified despite not having a face. "This is Naus''s haven! How can we hurt the plants that seek refuge here?" "You''re stepping on the mossy floor!" retorted Poopy.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it "Oh dear!" realised the statue. "You''re right!" It then crossed it''s legs and began to levitate in the air. Poopy: .... "Ah, yes. Thank you for telling me that. I''d never realised!" smiled the faceless statue. "Whatever. But now that the gate''s stuck, how am I going to get in now?" frowned the golem. "Oh bother! I have no idea!" laughed the statue. Poopy really wanted to punch the statue... but it refrained. "How about flying me over the walls?" the golem realised. "I don''t think I can fly... I am but a golem, you see?" said the statue that was now revealed to be a golem, making the conversation even more confusing. Poopy was now convinced that the statue golem was so stupid, it wasn''t worth talking to. "Buggy?" it said to the beetle beside it. The beetle looked at it. "Climb over the walls!" Naus said they should not fly over the walls, but she didn''t say they couldn''t climb over it, right? The golem held one of the beetles legs as it climbed upwards. "Wait, I don''t think you are supposed to do that!" cried the statue in alarm. "She didn''t say I couldn''t climb the wall!" said the golem that was now tens of metres above the ground. "Ah. Fair enough!" nodded the statue as it continued to float. Hours later, it would run out of mana and hit the mossy ground, crushing the tiny plants. It would then bawl for hours and scream at itself for being a murderer. Someone please tell me why Naus thought it was a good idea to put this guy on guard. Shortly, Poopy was over the walls. There was many similarly mossy buildings in poor shape and many cute and ferocious animals around, although the predators seemed to be on good terms with the little critters. Ironic isn''t it? The nature goddess discouraging survival of the fittest. There were also manyuniqueplants and fungi growing all over place, so the golem began to search for a suiting moss. .... And bingo! There is was, a pinkish moss speckled in fragrant littleflowers. Was''t that bad, was it? Only took a mere hour. Poopy began to scoop up the moss. "Hey! Stop right there!" Poopy turned around, only to see that another another faceless statue. This one had a mouth however, which was how the golem told them apart. "Why?" asked Poopy. "You can''t just take any plant out! These are all endangered plants! I think..." hollered the mouth statue. It''s arms were crossed, giving it a very strict look. Apparently, this statue wasn''t very smart either as it was stepping on the same pink moss it was trying to protect. "But I need it! It''s very important to me!" whined Poopy. Perhaps the statue would pity it? "Hmm..." mused the mouth statue. "I know! You could do a quest! You can take some of the moss out, but you''ll need to do a quest first! Also, you will be punished if Naus finds out you mistreated the plants!" "Ok..." Poopy resisted the urge to tell the statue it was mistreating the moss itself. The last thing the golem needed was a another silly floating statue! "What''s the quest?" "Fantastic!" smiled the mouth golem. "Invasive slimes have been destroying the ecosystem of a nearby forest! Horrifying news, isn''t it?" "Uh... I guess." lied Poopy. "Yes, very nice to see a compassionate friend. Your task is to destroy the slime queen! A horrid crime, I know, but what''s to be done must be done at times." sighed the statue.
Quest: Slay the Hive Slime Queenin the Ancient Forest! Rewards: Pleasant Pink Moss. EXP Bonus: 10,000 Druid EXP and 10,000 EXP. Accept?
Yes No
Poopy hit ''Yes''. "Excellent! I look forward to your success!" praised the mouth statue who seemed to have instantly snapped out of its trance. Poopy then held Buggy''s legs and flew into the air. The next stop was theAncient Forest! Killsteal (Chapter 33) Slowly sliding over the grass of a forest as it left a slimy trail was a blue blob of goop with a corein it, a slime to be exact. The golem didn''t knowwherethe slime queen was, so it figured that this random slime might led it to the queen. The only problem was how slow the slime was. Poopy had an overwhelming urge to kick it to make it go faster, if not for how it had seen the slime devour a poor rabbit in seconds. "Hey slime! Can you go faster?" asked Poopy. It knew that the damned thing could go faster since it saw how fast the slime moved while chasing the rabbit. The slime ignored the golem, continuing merrily.Why would a mindless creature respond to language? But Poopy had other thoughts. Perhaps it was like Buggy, unable to understand English? Ah, but it could now communicate with Buggy after it tamed the insect. That''s it! A light bulb lit above the golem''s head. "Tame!" shouted the golem.
Benevolent taming is not effective on mindless creatures.
"Dammit!" cursed Poopy. Now it had no choice but to wait for this''snail'' to slow reach its destination! Who knew if it was even heading for the queen? It was at this moment when the slime grew excited, shooting forward at the speed it had displayed while chasing the rabbit earlier. "Hey! I asked you to go faster, but not this fast!" Poopy was under the impression that the slime had responded to it but decided to be sassy. Fortunately, slimes leave trails, so the golem followed.It thought to itself about how silly the slime was to forget that its body left trails. Soon, Poopy saw a huge pinkish slime surrounded by little blue slimes much like the one it followed being attacked by dozens of people. Apparently, the blue slime the golem followed finally got close enough to sense the distress of its mother, charging in to help. "Heal!" shouted one of them. A man in white robe raised his staff, bringing the health of the party back to comfortable levels.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Hive Slime Queen LVL: 49 Species:Slime Type: Summoner HP: 239/300,000 MP: 30,000 EXP upon kill: 1,000,000 Drops: ???
239/30,000 HP This was really bad. Poopy was sure that the quest required it or its pet to slay the queen for it to count! "Horn Stab!"commanded Poopy to the scarab.
Hive Slime Queen slain byBuggy! +100 EXP (+400 EXP to Buggy and 999,600 EXP to Issac''s Party) QuestProgress... Slay theHive Slime Queenin theAncient Forest! 1/1 Hive Slive Queens Return to the giver of the questto collect your rewards
"NOOOOOO!" came the anguished cries of the party. They had spent an hour fighting the boss only for it to be stolen by a random monster! In rage, they charged toward the offender... only to realise the insect had taken off with a pile of dung attached to its feet. "Fireball!" a mage tossed a ball of flames. The moment Poopy saw the attack, it knew that was bad news. So it did what it did best: tossing poop at things. The moment thefootball sized ball ofpoop hit the fireball in midair, there was a beautiful explosion of brown and red, raining flaming poop on the screaming adventurers. As they wiped off the hot stuff, the adventurers swore to themselves that they would hunt the insect and the poop monster down to the end of the world! **** Poopy soon reached theOld Ruinsagain. The same statue was still floating, albeit looking a lot more tired. With the help of Buggy, Poopy made its way over the walls and back to the pink moss. "Splendid!My thanks to youfor vanquishing the menace!" said the mouth statue.
Quest Complete! Slay theHive Slime Queenin theAncient Forest! Reward: Pleasant Pink Moss. EXP Bonus: 10,000 Druid EXP and 10,000 EXP. Level Up! (x2) Congratulations, you are now level 20! +400 Stat Points. +200 Max HP. +200 Max MP. Level Up! Congratulations, yourDruid Classis now level 11! +1200 MAG New skills learnt: Fungi Control:Makefungi do your bidding. Fungi Growth: Make fungi grow faster. +1 Skill Point
Wonderful! Poopy began to scoop up the pink moss and planting the moss onto itself. Surely, Yowi would accept it now! Noobs Invade (Chapter 34) "Isn''t this nice, Charles?" sighed Edward in contentment as he sipped from a bowl of soup. "Bleh. It''s too hot! You''d think such a fancy restaurant would use their heads and serve soup at the right temperature, no?" complained Charles. Edward thought that it was sensible to serve food hot and freshly made since the customer could wait to the preferred temperature, but he decided not to anything lest it offend his friend. Charles pushed the soup aside, spilling a little over the rim and went for the cooler chicken instead. Edward felt really tempted to wipe the dropletsoff. BANG! The door of the restaurant slammed open. The people in the restaurant turned, only to see a man in rags. A beggar? He was surprisingly clean however, having not a speck of mud on his skin. He had neatly trimmed nails and was well shaved as well. "Whoa holy crap the CGI in this game is awesome!" exclaimed the man as he eyed everything from the furnitureto the tableware to the diners and to the chest of the casher. He ignored the stares of the people, gesturing fortwo moreclean ragged men to follow behind him. "Damn, how much do you think they spent to render all of these?" said a blue haired one. "I still think gameplay and story is more important though! Wanna try talking to the NPCs?" said the black haired one. "I''ll try!" cheered the first ragged man (blond) who entered. "Yeah, go Issac!" Issac walked to the casher with a goofy grin. As theweirdowalked pass the diner, they looked away. What a nuisance! Edward decided it was probably just part of a prank and turned to sip his favourite creamy mushroom soup. Who ever saw such clean beggars? Issac turned sideways to squeeze between two chairs, one of them being Charles''. "Excuse me!" said Issac out of habit. Charles turned to look at his mother. Huh. She seemed to be reading a system e-book for some reason. Probably because the food is too hot, assumed Charles. So Charles being the Charles reached out a hand to spank the butt of the beggar as hard as he could. "Ahhh!" squealed the beggar. He turned to stare at shock at Edward. "Holy shit that hurt like*beep!*kid! How the*beep!*did yo- Wait what the*beep!* why is the damned game censoring my words?" Charles stared at the beggar. How did this guy not realise the system had a profanity filter around little kids at his age? He turned to look at his mom again. She didn''t notice? Must have activated the mute function then. Perfect! Spank! Smack! Piak! "Oww! Oww! Yamete! Stop!" squeaked Issac as he ran off. "Damn! The Ai is really brutal!"Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. He made his way to the casher, rubbing his butt. "Hi Madam! What do you sell here?" The casher stared at him. He stared back. "You''re only here to cause a ruckus, aren''t you?" the casher looked at him in contempt. "What? No! I''m like a player, you know? Like one of tho-" "Oh? A player?" her disgust intensified. "Go down to the brothels then. I bet that''s the only way scum like you would even get to touch a woman." "No, that''s not what I meant!" Issac facepalmed. "I was only here to buy stuff. Ah, forget it, I''ll leave!" He turned towards the entrance, only to realise that both his friends were long gone. "Bastards! Going off to have their fun while I deal with this..." Issac headed out again, this time avoiding all the little kids he saw. Who knew if his butt would be abused again? He opened his friend list and tappedMake friends appear on map. Two arrows popped up, one with Sexyboi96 above it and Proest_Pro above the other. "Huh. They''re heading towards the class training hall!" realised Issac. "Dammit... I can''t let them get ahead of me in level!" Issac ran as fast as he could. He reached entered the hall, panting and sweating all over. The hall was filled with dozens of ragged men and women, all crowding around confused looking men in leather (the class trainers). ''Who''ve thought feeling tired in a game would be so realistic?''he thought. "Finally here, Issac? Got caught in the rain?" laughed Sexyboi96. "Shut up Jake! Oh, what class did you choose Eason?" "I choose the healer class! Just think of how easily I''ll get into parties!" smiled Eason (Proest_Pro). "Yeah, I guess it''s easier for healers to find parties. But that''s boring." Issac turned to a middle age man who he assumed to be a class trainer. "Hey geezer! What classes are there?" "I''M NOT A GEEZER!" shouted the class trainer. "Apologise!" "Sorry..." said Issac. "Good. Now, the class hall lets you become three classes for free. TheWarrior,RangerandHealer are free to learn. You''ll have to pay a bit more for other classes however." "I have a hundred gold! What class can I learn with that?" Issac decided it was probably better to start with a good class with poor equipment than an average class with good equips. "You can learn the ways of theRogue,theMage and theBerserker with a hundred gold." "Whoa! A mage!" Issac''s eyes seemed to sparkle. "I''ll be a mage!" How awesome would it be to wield magic at the tips of his very hands? "Good choice. AMagemight be more fragile than the typical class, but it''s hard to die when you''re standing all the way at the back of a party." praised the class trainer.
Congratulations on unlocking your first class:Mage! You are 10% suited for this class. +100 MAG. +100 HP. +500 MP. Achievement Unlocked:First Class. Not really. I mean, kinda, yeah, but you''re not actually first class. +200 Stat Points.
Only ten percent? Issac was irritated. How in the world does the game even judge such a stat? "Now that we''ve all gotten our first classes, let''s look for a quest!" said Jake (Sexyboi96). "Pfftt... hahaha!" laughed the class trainer. "What''s so funny?" asked Issac. "Seriously? Why would anyone hire level 1s of all people to do things for them?" said the class trainer. Issac was stumped. Who''ve have thought a game would have logic like that? "Uh... Our rates are lower?" said Eason (Proest_Pro). "Ambitious aren''t you?" chuckled the trainer. "Alright, I''ve decided to give you all one chance."
Quest: Collect 10 carrots and 1 wild rabbit (alive) from theBeginner''sForest! Rewards:1 gold. EXP Bonus:1000 EXP for all party members. Accept?
Yes No
"What?"the triowas shocked. "So little gold?" "Shut up you lot! You said your rates were cheap!" retorted the class trainer. "Take it or leave it!" "Well.. at least we''ll get some EXP." said Issac. And so... the three losers wandered into the forrest, ready to kick rabbit assand chew carrots. Fishing With Poop Control (Chapter 35) It was when the golem reached the Beginner''s Forest and had the time to think when it realised that Yowi would probably still not want to be friends with it even if it stopped stinking. The thought freaked it out. But as it calmed down, it thought of something:perhaps a gift would make Yowi like it better? ''Hey TG, what do you think I could give Yowi as a gift?''
TG: Yowi seems to be a type of wild cat. They like to eat fish, meat and catnip so maybe you could try gifting him those?
''Thanks TG! But what'' are those?'' the golem was clueless as usual.
TG: Well, a fish is a type creature that lives in water. Not all aquatic creatures are fish though, so use Scan to be sure. As for meat, it''s the flesh of any dead land animal. Catnip is a small weed-like plant. Actually, you know what? I''ll give you a quest to make your job easier. A quest marker will point you to where you should go. Personal Quest: Gifts for Yowi Requirements: Fish of any type and amount Meat of any type and amount Catnip of any type and amount Reward: Satisfaction? EXP Bonus: None, sorry. Accept?
Yes No
Immediately when Poopy hit the ''Yes'' button, a red arrow with the word ''RIVER'' on it appeared on the grass, pointing towards the river. The golem hopped onto Buggy, but the insect refused to move. "Buggy, go!" Poopy pointed forward.
WARNING: YOUR PET IS FEELING ABUSED! Abuse Metre: 1/10 Hitting 10 will cause the pet to to no longer be a pet.
Poppy: .... "Fine, have it your way then!" shouted the golem after a short pause. The insect seemed to cheer up,swiftlydigging a tunnel in the ground. It then went to lie inside lazily. Ah, bliss! Finally, the slave driver of a ''master'' stopped using it as transport. Buggy felt at bliss. Having no other choice, Poopy lamented at its lack of speed as it walked towards the river.But despite the golem''s complains, it reached the river in mere minutes. It looked into the river and saw a few random creatures swimming about in the water. So Poopy scanned one of them.
Carp LVL: 5 Species: Cyprinidae (Fish) Type: Speedster HP: 138/150 MP:0 EXP upon kill: 30 Drops: ???
Oh. That was a fish. After that realisation, Poopy panicked. After the sewer incident, it had a deathly fear of water. There was no way it could go in and just fish the carp out! But at that moment, a dead fish floated across the surface of the water. The golem tried to grab it, but was too slow. So the fish floated away.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Poopy was a little upset, but it got an idea! Remembering that any creature with their poop removed would fall over and clutch their rump, the golem wondered if doing that to the fish would make it float (it thought of floating as the aquatic version of falling over). This would not actually make the fish float however, as fish only float when there was a build up of gases after death. But Poopy had no idea that the floating fish was actually dead, so it usedPoop Controlanyway.
You used Poop Control on your target. Target HP -10.
The carp shot out of the water and hit the golem in the face much to its surprise. Poopy quickly expelled the water in alarm before starring at the poor creature flopping on the floor and gasping for air (water?) desperately. Looking at the miserable creature, it felt bad. But it steeled itself. This was for Yowi! ''TG, how do I put something in my inventory?''thought the golem.
TG: Just touch the what you want to keep as you think ''store''.
''Store!''
Carpstored. Quest Progress... 1/1 Fish of any type or amount
The golemnabbed a few more fish from the river and nodded in satisfaction. This wasn''t as hard as it thought it was going to be. It then headed off in search of meat. But for whatever reason, Poopy was unable to find any animals despite searching for a whole 5 minutes. It might not sound like a lot, but it felt pretty long to a 4 day old creature. "Delicious! Damn, I didn''t know you were such a great cook Issac!" suddenly, Poopy heard the voice of a man as it trudged around. "Haha, cooking has always been my hobby!" It instantly went on guard. Humans were tough and difficult to deal with! The golem considered running away, but curiosity nagged it. So after a few seconds of hesitation, it peeked at the group of three mud covered ragged men. Oneof them (Sexyboi96) was cutting slabs of meat from a dead boar and passing it to the blond one who was using a skillet, bonfire, oil, mushrooms and forest herbs to make some sort of mushroom flavoured steak. The last one (Proest_Pro) was being useless and scoffing from a bowl full of the cooked meat and mushrooms and not helping at all. At that very instant, there was a red arrow that popped out of midair with the words ''QUEST ITEM'' on it popped out in mid air and pointed to the dead boar. Poopy couldn''t believe its eyes. The quest item it was looking for was just right there! It quickly jumped out behind the tree and charged towards the boar. "Hey, what the hell is that!" shouted Sexyboi96 (Jake).
95% Boar Corpsestored. Quest Progress... 1/1 Meat of any type or amount
"What the fuck!" shouted _Issac_ (Issac). Proest_Pro (Eason), took one look at the smelly beast, decided NOPE and resumed eating his meal peacefully. But SexyBoi96 (Jake) was not happy! He lunge toward the running golem with his wooden sword. Poopy ducked but was hit on the head anyway since it sucked at dodging.
Ironvinenegates the attack.
The dung monsterwas pleased. To think that theIronvine would be so useful! ''Poop control!''it casted.
Error, no poop found in targets.
The golemwas a little surprised but didn''t find it out of the ordinary. After all, it had encountered several living things with no poop inside them. As it ran, a red arrow pointed toward a small weed-like plant with pretty purple flowers. Catnip!
Catnip Plantstored. Quest Complete: Gifts For Yowi Reward: Satisfaction? EXP Bonus: None, sorry.
The golem was in a very good mood today. It got the nice moss and easily found the quest items. It soon reached its destination after running for a bit more. ''Surely nothing could go wrong'' thought Poopy as it stood in front of the door of the mushroom house. It morphed into the ugliest ''cat'' in the universe and knocked the door, heart pounding all the while. Reunited (Chapter 36) Today was a good day for both the cat and the bunny. Yue''s''giant mecha'' was finally complete! For a year, Yowi had been trying to convince Yue that they should go on a grand adventure, raid dungeons, explore new lands, you name it. But Yue insisted it was too dangerous; she wanted to build a combat mecha first. And today, it was finally complete. It consisted of a crude metal torso with arms on the side and legs on the bottom. At the front was were bars to protect the user from attacks. Yue would have liked to use glass instead but she feared the glass would shatter. It only stood at the height of 1.5 metres, but it was still gigantic compared to cats and rabbits. To celebrate, theysummoned lots of random food with the help of theStaff O'' Summons. Food was spread all over thetableas the two began to eat. As they ate, they suddenly heard knocks on the door. "Iggnor it!" said Yue. "Ish jus random animaul!" But the knocks persisted. Yowi decided to put down his fish and check the source of the commotion. He opened the door only to find a vaguely cat-like thing covered in scented pink moss. It smelled... familiar? Yowi couldn''t quite put his paw on it. "Hi! I am a cat. Let''s be friends!" said the deformed cat enthusiastically. Yowi: ... The moment he heard the voice of the ''cat'', Yowi recognised it. It was that weird smelly poop golem! "Munster! Goo awruy!" shouted Yowi. "Wait, no! I have gifts!" the ''cat'' waved its paws frantically. In a hurry, it unloaded a bunch of living flopping fish, a mostly intact dead boar and a few stalks of catnip from its inventory. Yowi''s eyes shone. Maybe the (now less) smelly golem wasn''t that bad! Yowi swept all the items into his inventory. "Weit here!" mewed the cat. So Poopy, sat outside. But after an hour, Yowi still wasn''t out yet. The golem was a little nervous that Yowi might have ran away, but it didn''t want to disobey the ''commands'' from its ''master''. (Yowi just went back to feasting with Yue.) Another hour passed as the duo finished their meal and made preparations for the adventure. Bored, the golem started to drift off. It was then when it heard a loud creak from the room of the mushroom house. It looked up and saw a trapdoor on the roof being lifted by a crude mecha of sorts. After lifting the trapdoor and closing it back neatly, the machine jumped down the roof and landed with a thud next to Poopy.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. "Hmph! Yowi seid yu are not bad munster!" said Yue. The machine held out a hand to the golem to hop onto. Itlooked up and saw to its surprise that both the bunny and Yowi were in the mecha. It climbed onto the hand of the machine. The mecha put the golem onto itstop and started to run off with the sound of rumbling gears. Poopy enjoyed the gusts of wind as it sat atop. "Wher we go Yue?" asked Yowi after a while. "We go to dwaa-waff city!" said Yue. Since young, she liked tinkering with machines a lot. As the books said the dwarves were amazing mechanics and smiths, she wanted to learn a thing or two from them! She''d wanted to visit themyears ago,but she feared that she would be looked down upon for having such a low levelled mechanic class. Now that her class was level 20, she believed that she was now ready. She hoped that the dwarves would like her mecha and not look down upon her. "Borwing!" complained Yowi. He wanted to go in dungeons to battle powerful monsters. As cute as cats might look, most of them were still predators who loved combat at heart. "Yowi wan fight dungeon!" "Laters! Yue build machine not Yowi!"said Yue. Yowi hmphed but didn''t retort.An hour passed as the machine continued to run.A beetle suddenly flew from the distance and landed beside Poopy. It was Buggy. Despite it wanting to laze around, it still didn''t want to be separated too far away from its master. "Eck! Wats ththat! Yucky!" squeaked Yue. She tried to swat the beetle off with the mecha hands but it clung on to the roof persistently. "Stop! Buggy is my pet!" said Poopy. "Buggi is gud bug?" asked Yowi. "Yes. Buggy is a strong fighter!" said the golem. It misunderstood ''good'' as battle potential. "YUE HATE BUGGY! YUCKY BUGGY! NUH BUGGY BUG!" screamed Yue. "No! Buggy can fight ish good!" said Yowi. Poopy''s statement made Yowi convinced that keeping the beetle was worth it. Yowi and Yue had a long argument before the reluctantbunny stopped smacking the poor scarab perched on the mecha''s head. She sighed. Shebegan to wonder if hundreds of random gross creatures that Yowi made friends with were going to perch on the mecha at the rate they were coming. It was another hour of running when the machine started to slow down and make weird creaking noises. "Ish robbo spoiling?" asked Yowi nervously. "Low pouwer!" assumed Yue. She made the machine sit down, then replaced the ''battery''. Thenew battery was aglass bottle filled with a murky and oily brown liquid. The emptied glass bottle that served as the previous battery was kept by Yue. "What''s that brown stuff?" asked Poopy curiously. It had the impression that poop was ''brown stuff'' but as perplexed that it couldn''t control that ''brown stuff'' at all. "Routten panfluwer oil!" said Yue enthusiastically. Finally, someone was willing to to listen to her explanation of how her stuff worked! Yowi would never listen to her. "Furst, Yue find panfluwer! Ish big fluwer as big ash Yowi! Then Yuedry panfluwer by put on roof for month! Then Yue put fluwer and wuter in pot and boil! T-" "Yue ish borwing!" teased Yowi. "Grrr! Yue not talking to you! Ish talk to Poopy!" growled Yue. "I am not interested in listening." said the golem gleefully. Now it could get back at the ''kidnapper'' by annoying her! "Hmph! Only smart dwaa-waa-warf can understand Yue!"said Yue. Mecha Ambush (Chapter 37) "Wat we duwing nearhooman town?" asked Yowi.The cat didn''t understand why they stopped and hid in a bush near the path to a human town, but he was slightly worried that he would be captured again. "We ish need Teliportatin Tokin to go Dwa-warfu town! Yowi ish control hooman to gib us tokin." whispered Yue. Dwaven cities were often locatedin underground caves that stretched dozensof kilometres deep underground due to their need for metallic ores. Unfortunately, powerful rock monsters love to inhabit those caves. So thesafest and easiestway to reach such towns were throughTeleportation Tokens sold in human shops. Yue wascounting on Yowi to useTemporary Control toforce an unfortunate passerby to hand over a token. "Ok! Yowi undestand." said Yowi. Just then, a plump man whistling a merry tune walked past. Yowi and Yue usedScanon him at the same time.
Joe Barney LVL:20 Species: Human Type:Balanced Classes: Merchant / Iron Warrior HP: 10,000 MP:500 EXP upon kill: 20,000 Drops: ???
An optimal target! That was the conclusion both of them came to. The mecha leaped out of the bush with surprising agility and managed to clock poor Joe on the head. As he fell face-first onto the ground, Yue used the mecha to pummel him continuously before he could even get up. Poopy winced.
The target is unconcious. 6,740 / 10,000 HP
"Cuntrol hooman Yowi!" squeaked Yue excitedly. "Kay!" said Yowi. The man stood all of a sudden, his face vacant as a zombie''s. "Gib Teleportato Token!" meowed Yowi. But the man didn''t do anything. "Hooman is not have token." said the cat sadly. So the merchant fell on his face once more. "Wait, if you could control him, why did you beat him up like that?" the golem asked. "Yowi spell ish coslessmana and las longer wen hooman faint!" explained Yowi. "Oh." said the golem. They had to wait a while more before someone else walked past. This time, it was a slenderwomanin robes who looked around 20.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
Emerline Eastwood LVL: 30 Species: Human Type:Balanced Classes:Mage / Ranger HP: 5000 MP:50,000 EXP upon kill: 100,000
Emerline had spotted the man covered in bruises from quite a distance. A man covered in bruises but not badly injured in any other way? Obviously, this wasn''t the doing of wild beasts. It had to be bandits! She''d heard of this tactic before: the bandits would leave a injured man on a isolated path and wait. When a passerby tries to help, they would sneak attack the passerby and win easily. She smirked. Such a tatic was not one she would fall for. She took out a health potion. "Are you alright?" she said as she knelt down, removing the cork from the potion. BANG! The loud sound of metal smashing into a hard object sounded out. The mecha had hopped out of the bushes to punch the mage, only for a mana shield to block the attack. "Foolish bandits! I sawthrough your tati-" she said as she turned her head to face the attacker. "Wait what?" A bunny in a mecha was the bandit? Emerline didn''t know what to think at the strange sight. Yue ignored her speech and continued to punch the mana shield. "Your attacks are useless! Do you really think- AHHHH!" she began. A turd fell out of her behind as she toppled to the ground. Sadly, mana shields did not protect against poop control. As she lost her focus, the mana shieldfaded for a second. Which was more than enough time for Yue to knock her out with a punch to the head. Yowi onceagain usedTemporary Control, making the woman stand up like a zombie. She promptly tripped over the plump man and got her robes coated in mud. "Gib Teleportato Token!" said Yowi. The fallen woman took out10Teleportation Tokens. If she was conscious, she would be seething with anger. In case of life threatening situations, she saved up lots of gold to buy these tokens just in case. To think that a ragtag team oftinycritters would defeat her who had faced mighty beasts strong enough to punch through steel! "Yay!" cheered the bunny. "Okie, we ish all go to Cavern''s Gemwith tokin!" said Yue happily. Poopy picked up one of the tokens and held it.
Where would you like to teleport to?
''Cavern''s Gem!'' Thegolemdisappeared in a flash. "Ah! Tatdumb Poopy!" cried Yue as she picked up the remaining tokens. If they had all grabbed on the mecha, they could have just used a single token! But what''s done is done. The mecha grabbed onto the panicked looking beetle looking for its master as Yue used up one of the tokens as well. Another flash, and they reappeared underground before a portal. Buggy hopped out of the mecha''s hand, relieved to see Poopy again. Yue couldn''t help but admire what she saw. The buildings were all made of metal instead of typical concrete. The ceiling of the caverns that hung mere metres away from the tops of the buildings wascoated with a thick layer of glowing moss that gently illuminated the city. The light was pale and whitish, much like the light a full moon casts. Lampposts that glowed witha reddish hue dotted the streets as well, which Yue found strange. Wasn''t the moss already a good source of light? The newly arrived group got many strange stares from the dwarves. A cat, a rabbit, a scarab and a deformed creature pretending to be a cat was not something they saw often after all. Scratch that, it was a sight they had never seen before. Dwarf Joins The Party (Chapter 38) The mecha walked along the cold gloomy streets, the quartet hitching a ride on it. As it walked past the red streetlights, warmth radiated from the lights. ''Ish warm!'' thought Yue. She had an urge to dismantle the lamppost to see how it worked, but she refrained. That would be very rude.The bunny looked to the side of the cockpit only see see that Yowi was already fast asleep. Not unexpected. That cat loves to sleep all day. Onthe mecha, Poopy who sat atop felt rather nervous. Those ''short humans'' weren''t going to try capturing it, were they? Buggy who was beside the golem was at ease, drowsing off shortly. Yue was the only one of the four who was excited. The machine continued to rumble along the streets, past taverns full of cheerful drunk dwarves, shops selling all kinds of crafting material and residential homes. The shops were full of tempting materials, but no, she was looking for something else. As the Yue continued to look around, a dwarf on the streets approached her. "Eyyy! That''s a nice machine you got there little bunny!" said the little man. He looked drunk, his grinning face red as the vial of red wine he had in hand. Hewas dressed in baggy pants that looked far too large for him and a shirt draped by a jacket. Theywere worn down by time and patched with thread at certain areas, but were still very clean and ironed neatly. "Yay! Tank yuu!" smiled the bunny. To get her mecha praised by a dwarf meant a lot to her. "Hick!" the dwarf hiccuped. "Want to come over to my workshop? We can compare notes!" "Okie!" cheered the bunny enthusiastically. As the dwarf led the crude mecha to his workshop, the other dwarves looked at them oddly. ~~~~~ "Here is my humble workshop! BREEEGH!" burped thenow much more soberdwarf. Yue looked at the building, a little speechless.She was led by the dwarf into a district filled with old looking brick houses. This building took it a step further: there was a huge hole blown in the roofand the metal door was covered in dents. A dusty board was stuck neatly above the door, with ''Urgo''s Repairs'' written neatly on it. Humble indeed.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. The dwarf opened the door, the mecha following right after. The building had only a single room. There was a worktable at the cornerof the room covered in all sorts of tools, materials and papers. Under the hole in the roof was another mecha, this one 2 metres tall. It was somewhat like Yue''s mecha, with only a torso with arms and legs. The legs were a lot stubbier but the arms were a lot longer. The plating was a lot thicker and more refined. There were odd machines of all sorts packed neatly near another corner as well. Yue noted the lack of a bed in the room. "You don''t mind me usingInspecton your little machine do you?" asked the dwarf to the bunny. "Ish okay." said Yue. The dwarf''s eyes seemed to glow in excitement as he put his hands to the crude machine. "Amazing! A gyro lead ball fromstabilisation... The leg machinery... such incredible design! I could certainly use such a design to make mine run faster and jump higher..." the dwarf began to mutter excitedly. Yue had gotten the impression that this dwarf probably wasn''t the most advanced of them all. She was sure a well learnt dwarf would not be this impressed. Still, she felt like it would be rude to leave so suddenly now that she accepted his invitation. The dwarf ran to his worktable and began to scribble notes hurriedly. It took a good five minutes before the dwarf was done. "I''m done! Here, in exchange, I have a stack of notes about dwarventechnology. It would be rude to be the only person benefiting here." said the dwarf. Yue was shocked. Weren''t the dwarves very secretive about their crafts? Seeing her expression, the dwarf sighed. "As you might see, I''m not the most well off of all dwarves. The times are getting tough with the lack of food and materials. Our heritage might be important, but in the end, being alive is the top priority." "But... why yuu trad fur Yue machine notes insted of food?" Yue was confused. "Down here, us lower classes folk make a living through mining and hunting. A more powerful machine will let us huntmoreand protect us while mining." sighed the dwarf. The smile glued on his face faded, leaving behind a weathered and tired look. He walked slowly to the mecha in the centre of the room and patted it lovingly. "This beauty here... She''s the result of all of us peasant dwarves'' effort. We''ve been sharing notes to allow all of us to make better machines." the dwarf said proudly. "Mine and hant need powurl-ful meecha?" asked Yue. "Heh." the dwarf smiled, but in a self-deprecating way. "Let us go to the wild caves. You''ll see what we face there." The dwarf hopped into the cockpit of his mecha, beckoning to to Yue with a mecha hand. "Huddle up! This wonderful machine has a built in portal linker!" shouted the dwarf. "Okie! Yue ish hug dwa-waff machin!" squeaked Yue as her mecha ran up to be grabbed by the dwarf''s. In a flash, both of the machines disappeared. Hunting In The Caverns (Chapter 39) Two mechas popped out of thin air in a dark underground cavern deep underground, lit by a few lanterns with glowing blue crystals in them. "And here we are, in the dark mines." said the dwarf. "Down here, monsters hide at every corner.Let your guard down for a second and you might be headless in the next." The golem on Yue''s mecha was very unnerved. It had always been used to the vibrant light of the sun, the sound of the wind, insects, birdsong... anything would do. But here, there was only darkness that seemed to stretch endlessly and an oppressive silence. The only thing that stopped it from freaking out entirely was the soothing sound of gears grinding. What was once a nuisance was now music to its ears. Buggy nuzzled the golem reassuringly. "But we ish in machinn. How ish we lose head?" the bunny tilted her head. "It was just a metaphor little one. Now, follow me!" said the dwarf as he pressed a buttonin the cockpit. A crystal lantern much like the ones surrounding them (but bigger) popped up on the headless torso. The mecha grabbed the lantern with both hands and twisted it a little to the left and right to make sure it was on tight, then walked onwards into the darkness. So the smaller mecha followed the larger one timidly, their footsteps echoing loudly in the dark despite their efforts in walking slowly. It wasn''t that they were making a lot of noise;it was just so silent you could hear even a pin drop. Yowi had woken at this point and was listening as hard as he could for the sound of monsters along with Yue. But he could hear nothing but the sound of footsteps.As a felinewith the ability to hearthe breathing of creatures in the forest from metres away, not to mention in total silence, Yowi felt doubt. Not to mention that he didn''t see anything with his exceptional eyes except for rubble, cracks and holes all over the ground. "Ish dwaf sure ders munsters?" asked the cat. "Near the portals, there aren''t many of them. Thousands of us dwarves hunt them, you see?" explained the dwarf. "Heck, even if they were around, you wouldn''t notice them till they attacked!" The golem got even more unsettled. "But Yowi ish haz gud heearing!" insisted the cat. "Yue ish hear nuthing tuu." affirmed the bunny. "You mean them being restless and making noises? No, they stay perfectly stil-" "Whut about bweeave?" Yowi interrupted the dwarf. "What do you mean ''bweeeeave''?" the dwarf found it hard to understand the two little critters. If only they spoke clearer! "Bruh-eeeth!" Yue tried to say ''breathe'' clearer. "Oh, that! Well, they have-" "BANG!" -16,593 MHPUnauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. With a deafening bang, a huge claw punched out of the rocky ground andclamped ontothe dwarf''s mecha, denting the armour of the machine. The golemand thebunny screamed. The cat jumped in fright and hit his head on the roof of the cockpit. The beetletookoff in panic for a second before landing back on the machine awkwardly. "Speak of the demons, a cavern lobster." said the dwarf nonchalantly. "Party Scan!"
You are not in a party.
-5669 MHP The claw began to squeeze harder and start to pull the mech downwards into the ground. "Drats! I''ll send you all a party invite later! Just use Scan on him for now!" shouted the dwarf. Unfortunately, the quartet was too shocked to comply. The mecha of the dwarf pointed the hole in its palm towards the claw of the monster''s claw. "Bang!" -6790 A bullet shot was lodged in the claw, drawing blood. The claw loosened, starting to retreat back into the ground. The monster was in pain and wanted to escape! "Not so fast!" yelled the dwarf. His mecha grabbed the claw just in time and pulled hard. The ground began to tremble and make crumbling noises as the tug of war began. "What are you waiting for? Help me out!" shouted the dwarf to the stunned quartet on the smaller mecha. "Okie!" shouted Yue, directing her mecha to pull as well. The monsterwas strong enough to resist the pull of the dwarf''s mecha, but only barely. Yue''s pulling tipped the scales, sending the huge three-metre long monster flying out of the ground and crashing onto the ground on its head hard. [Monster Stunned!] -21600
Urgoinvites you to join his party! Accept?
Yes No
Poopy, Yowi and Yue got an invitation from the dwarf, Urgo. Buggy, however, did not receive an invite as the system doesn''t let pets receive party invites. The trio hastily hit ''Yes''.
Party formed! Leader: Urgo Members: Poopy Urgo Yue
"Great! Party Scan!" said the dwarf.
Striped Cavern Lobster Grade: Super-Rare LVL: 50 STR: 36,000 MAG: 5,000 DEX: 500 AGI:500 DEF: 90,000 INT: 70 HP: 500,000 MP: 5,000 Skills: Pincer Crush: Deals damage50-100%of STR. +50% damage if the skill is used as a sneak attack (10 MP) (No cooldown) Pistol Pincer: Shoots an incredibly fast bullet of air that does damage 200% of STR. (500 MP + 1,000 HP) (10s cooldown)
Poopy was shocked. It had never seen anything that powerful before! If not for the sheer strength of the dwarf''s mecha, they would havebeen instantly destroyed! "A striped lobster! Holy crap! I never thought I''d ever seeone of them!" cried Urgo in his excitement. "You mean its rare, don''t you?" spoke Poopy for the first time in quite a while. "Very rare indeed! The striped lobsters are one in thousands or something, don''t quite recall. They''rbigger than the normal ones and have really tough shells! Great for making armour I say.Oh, and I heard their meat is quite tasty." said Urgo. The golem was relieved. Good thing these monsters were not normally that strong! The lobster finally got back on its feet, wobbling slightly. "Oh, its finally getting up. No time to talk!" Urgo''s mecha walked toward the lobster and grabbed its head using both hands. "BA-BANG!" -103,578! -109,578! Blue blood oozed from the head of the lobster. It wobbled a few final steps before collapsing on the floor, dead.