ã€ŠGrowing Painsã€‹


 Chapter 1

    It was a fairly normal Tuesday for the people of Metropolis. Or rather what had rapidly become normal after the sudden debut of a man that could fly through the air unassisted, catch bullets, and lift an airplane on his own a couple of years ago.

    Since then Superman had become a relatively common sight to the citizens of the ¡®City of Tomorrow¡¯. Proving that the human race could truly adapt to anything given time. It also helped that the caped ¡®Man of Steel¡¯ had proven friendly and polite to just about everyone, helping with everything from firefighting to catching robbers.

    The small spherical spaceship crash landing in the middle of the street was decidedly less common and sent people running for cover.

    When nothing happened for a few minutes, the braver (or more foolish) in the crowd risked getting a better look at the crater and the ship inside of it. The spaceship was rather oddly designed. Perfectly round with no visible means of propulsion and only a few lines where the door appeared to be and an opaque purple pane of glass for a window.

    It was also rather small. It barely looked big enough to fit a single adult.

    The growing number of spectators flinched back when a hiss of air signaled the ship was opening to reveal¡­a young child looking curiously around her surroundings.

    She obviously wasn¡¯t human. The fuzzy brown tail twitching behind her proved that and no one had hair quite that spikey or gravity defying naturally, but the rest of her looked shockingly similar to a human girl around twelve years old.

    Her appearance - and the lack of instant hostility - prompted one of the bystanders to call out to her.

    ¡°Excuse me, are you alright? Do you need help?¡±

    The girl startled like she hadn¡¯t noticed the people gathering to stare at her and blushed heavily.

    ¡°Oh right - the natives!¡± She quickly darted back inside her ship and rummaged around until she reappeared with a sheaf of what looked like paper.

    ¡°Ahem,¡± She coughed into her fist and started reading. ¡°Greetings people of E-arth. I am Califa, and I will be conquering your planet today in the name of the Saiyan race unless you can produce a champion to defeat me. If you cannot then resistance is fu¡­fu¡­hmm, Ah! Resistance is futile and I will accept the surrender of your leaders now.¡±

    She looked around at the stunned faces of the bystanders and smiled widely and innocently. ¡°Did you get all that?¡±

    Silence stretched for a few seconds before a police officer in the crowd decided to act. He strode forward and pulled his gun before hesitantly pointing it at the young looking girl. Declaration of conquest aside, she still looked like a kid.

    ¡°Get on the ground now!¡±

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    ¡°Oh there¡¯s already a champion here? Lucky me!¡± the girl chirped and raised a hand. Faster than the cop could react, an orb of yellow energy formed in her hand and shot forward. It slammed into his handgun and turned the entire thing into a useless mass of molten metal he needed to throw to the ground to avoid getting burned.

    Everyone looked from the ruined gun back to the alien girl and then back to the gun.

    Then the screaming started.

    -o-

    [Sometime before, in Earth atmosphere]

    Waking up in an Attack Ball after a mental download wasn¡¯t an experience I thought I¡¯d ever deal with and it certainly wasn¡¯t one I¡¯d recommend. Brains just weren¡¯t meant to handle that much new information that fast or at least mine wasn¡¯t.

    It didn¡¯t help that most of the information¡­I just didn¡¯t care about.

    Yeah, knowing my new name and race was useful but I didn¡¯t need to know about her childhood or how her father sent her on mission after mission alone fully expecting her to die at some point because old-me didn¡¯t meet his expectations. I certainly wasn¡¯t going to gobackto that abusive asshole.

    So the first plan after finding out I was an anime character was to hide out on Earth, get strong enough that I could do what I wanted, and then just¡­go exploring.

    Seriously, Earth was boring. Even DBZ Earth despite the animal people, cyborgs, and random future tech, because outside of the handful of beings like Cell or Buu¡­nothing really happened there.

    That changed when I started scanning radio waves looking to see what music was like on the way to my new home and found a talk show being hosted by someone called Vikky Vale.

    I didn¡¯t care about her, but Ididcare about what her topic was.

    She was going on about how the appearance of Superheroes like Superman, the Flash, and Wonder Woman were affecting the world and what it could mean for the future.

    That meant I wasn¡¯t in the DBZ-verse! Mashup-verse? Who cares!

    That meant I didn¡¯t need to bother with Frieza! Let the space-cop Green Lanterns deal with him!

    Aww, that meant Piccolo probably wasn¡¯t around. I wanted to meet the grumpy green slug-man.

    It also meant Earth was going to be infinitely more interesting than what I was expecting with at the very least Themyscira and probably Atlantis to explore. And it meant a bunch of people I could fight against that could actually push a Saiyan pretty far!

    Too bad the strongest of them were heroes and probably wouldn¡¯t fight me for real because they were heroes¡­

    ¡­Unless I was a villain.

    A plan started coming together in my mind and I didn¡¯t bother hiding the grin stretched across my face as the alert for final approach beeped in my pod.

    -o-

    Metropolis was a really pretty city, I noticed. All the cities I remembered had at least some kind of trash in a corner somewhere, but I didn¡¯t see anything like that here. That, and the bright tan stone and glass buildings made the entire place feel bright.

    I also managed to catch my reflection in one of the windows, spiky black hair that hung around my shoulders except for a few locks that stuck upward, black bodysuit covered by white armor thankfully without the stupid shoulder pauldron thingies, and rather cute. Even if I didn¡¯t like suddenly being a kid. I would grow though, so that was fine.

    ¡°Excuse me, are you alright? Do you need help?¡±

    A voice suddenly broke me out of my thoughts and I could feel my face heating up. I completely forgot about the people watching me!

    Thankfully, I already had a plan.

    ¡°Oh right - the natives!¡± I quickly went back to the Attack Ball and dug around for the troubleshooting manual - not that the people around me would know that - and made my way back and gave my ¡®I¡¯m here to conquer you¡¯ speech, deliberately flubbing a few words to make it seem like I really was as young as I looked.

    I wanted to fight the heroes a bunch, and having them not hold back or lock me in a hole somewhere meant I wouldn¡¯t be able to do that as often. So I planned to be a reoccurring villain that popped up constantly, but wasn¡¯t that big of a deal as long as I got what I wanted.

    And since that would mostly just be a fight it should be pretty easy to give.

    But I couldn¡¯t look like a pushover or they would start ignoring me, so when the cop pointed his gun at me I didn¡¯t waste a second before turning it into scrap.

    Then the screaming started and people started running for their lives.

    Which¡­was actually kinda annoying given my new, more sensitive ears.

    I flew around the area a bit, getting used to the factI could FLY!and idly blasting the guns of the few cops brave enough to stand their ground.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have anyone stronger? This is boring!¡± I called down at the masses and fired a few more weak Ki blasts.

    ¡°That¡¯s enough! I think you¡¯ve caused more than enough destruction.¡± a firm voice demanded from¡­behind me?

    I turned and felt my heartbeat speed up at the sight of the man flying there, arms crossed, with a stern expression on his face.

    It was Superman! Right in front of me!

    A smile of pure happiness split my face.

    And I was going to fight him!

 Chapter 2

    Superman - though he really preferred to think of himself as Clark Kent - had seen a lot of different reactions to his arrival since he decided to reveal his powers. Hope, fear, resignation and the like were fairly normal, but it was weird to see pure joy from someone who had been attacking the city moments before.

    ¡°Oh hey, you look way stronger than the other guys¡­and you can fly too! That¡¯s great!¡± The young alien chirped, making Superman wish he could talk her down somehow. Fighting children didn¡¯t exactly sit right with him, so if this could be resolved peacefully¡­

    ¡°Who are you and why are you attacking the city?¡±

    ¡°Oh, did you not hear? I¡¯m Califa and I¡¯m here to take over the planet!¡±

    Take over the¡­was she serious?

    ¡°So you¡¯re gonna have to beat me if you wanna stop me!¡±

    The tailed child suddenly flew forward and punched him in the face, sending him flying backward. Superman winced at the hit and quickly stopped his momentum before he ended up going through a building.

    Contrary to popular belief he did feel it whenever someone hit him -at least a little- it just usually never did anything to him.

    He was also glad that the child, Califa, had only used those orbs on everyone else. That punch would have done some real damage to a normal human.

    -o-

    I just punched Superman.

    I JUST PUNCHED SUPERMAN!

    Oh it did absolutely nothing and I wasn¡¯t holding back so I knew I was screwed, but I didn¡¯t care. This was like getting the chance to fight Muhammad Ali, or George Foreman, or Mike Tyson in their prime. Even though I knew I was going to lose, just the opportunity was enough for this to be the best moment of my life!

    I was also so distracted by my thoughts I failed to follow up after that one hit I almost missed Superman flying back towards me. Weird, I would have thought my Ki sense would have¡­Ki sense wasn¡¯t a natural Saiyan ability.

    My eyes widened as I remembered that.

    Huh, wonder how I¡¯d go about learning how to - thoughts for later. Superman was back.

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    ¡°You¡¯re kinda tough huh?¡± I pretended like I didn¡¯t know he was a Kryptonian, no need for awkward questions later.

    ¡°Just a little.¡± The Man of Steel replied. ¡°Any chance we can talk this out? Come to an agreement?¡±

    Bleh, I knew my physical age would make him hesitate but I didn¡¯t want to just float around talking. So I was going to move this along a tiny bit¡­

    ¡°Sure! You have to beat me first though!¡± Then I blasted him in the chest with a solid beam of Ki.

    That did about as much damage as me punching him (meaning none at all) but it did send him rocketing out of the city where I followed as fast as I could. No need to trash the city during my introduction after all.

    I caught up to him just when he was recovering and punched him again, straight into the ground.

    Superman ended up in a crater while I just hovered overhead. I still couldn¡¯t keep the smile off my face. Flying, superstrength, and shooting lasers from my hands? That was just way too cool, and an opponent I could give it my all against and not worry about hurting? I couldn¡¯t ask for a better introduction to my new abilities.

    A blue and red blur burst out of the crater and a completely unharmed, if slightly dirtier, Superman was suddenly in front of me still wearing a stern expression.

    I didn¡¯t want him talking more so I flew forward with the intent to punch him in the face, but he caught my fist before it hit like I was a normal human twelve-year-old. Then he caught the second one just as easily.

    ¡°I think that¡¯s enough of that. I beat you, so let¡¯s have that talk now.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t beat me!¡± I immediately protested. ¡°You didn¡¯t even hit me once!¡±

    He raised an eyebrow and pointedly wiggled my still captured hands. ¡°I didn¡¯t need to hit you to beat you and I¡¯m not going to fight someone that, despite causing a panic, hasn¡¯t really hurt anybody. Now then, who sent you and why just you?¡±

    Internally I was fuming. This was how my first fight was going to end? A few good strikes and then captured like some little kid? No way. So I did something Superman wasn¡¯t expecting at all.

    I poked him in the eye with my tail.

    He reeled back enough that I was able to bring my foot up and kick him in the jaw, both freeing me and putting a little distance between us.

    ¡°Fine¡­if you aren¡¯t going to fight me then I¡¯ll just have to wreck a few buildings until someone who will fight shows up.¡± With those parting words I turned back towards the city. I wasn¡¯t actually planning on wrecking the place. Maybe blow up a few decorative bits, get Superman to take me seriously, then take things from there. But I didn¡¯t even get that far.

    Instead I barely heard Superman mutter behind me. ¡°Ma always said you had to have a firm hand with children¡­¡±

    Huh, wonder what that was abou-

    *SMACK*

    ¡°AIEYEEP!!¡± I <s>yelped</s> howled in outrage.

    He¡­He just¡­He SPANKED ME!

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I turned to face him with fire in my eyes. ¡°No, I don''t give up! I¡¯m going to-¡± He vanished in a blur.

    *SMACK*

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I flew at him ready to pound him so far into the ground they could use it as a well.

    *SMACK*

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I shot Ki blasts everywhere I thought he would move.

    *SMACK*

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I mined the area with tiny orbs of Ki ready to explode at the slightest touch.

    *SMACK*

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I erupted in an omnidirectional surge of Ki that reduced everything around me to rubble.

    *SMACK*

    *SMACK*

    *SMACK*

    ¡°Do you give up?¡±

    I¡­I tried flying away as fast as I could.

    *SMACK*

    ¡°I GIVE UP ALREADY!¡± I <s>cried</s> screamed, tears flowing out of my eyes and holding onto my butt.

    Superman appeared in front of me again, this time looking at me with something like sympathy and regret in his eyes. Something told me he had gone through something like this before and didn¡¯t like that he was forced to do the same.

    That look reignited the fire inside me.

    He ruined my first fight, spanked me like some misbehaving child, and now he felt bad about it?!

    ¡°Now that we got that out of the way, I have some questions and you are going to answer them young lady.¡± he said firmly. ¡°Do you want to answer them here or do you want to land on the ground first?¡±

    I answered that the best way I knew how. I reared one leg back¡­

    ¡­Then I kicked him in the balls as hard as I could before sticking my tongue out and flying away.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t over! I¡¯m gonna get way stronger and then I¡¯m gonna beat you up!¡± I promised as I flew into the distance.

    Superman didn¡¯t say anything. He just remained hunched over midair holding himself, but I figured he heard me anyway.

 Chapter 3

    Lightning cracked through the sky as rain poured down steadily, providing the perfect backdrop for my nightly activity. One that any aspiring supervillain would treat with utmost seriousness.

    Plotting how to beat their nemesis.

    Superman had revealed himself to not be the paragon of truth and justice he pretended to be during our fight.

    No, instead he was some kind of spank-happy sadist hiding behind the mask of a hero.

    Clearly I had landed in one of those bizzaro universes where Superman was secretly evil and it was up to me to take him down! I blinked as I realized I had gotten a bit excited and then sat back down to continue cooking dinner in my newfound supervillain lair.

    Okay, it was a random cave I had found and moved into but it was a start. Thankfully my Attack Ball had included a remote that allowed it to autopilot to my location so I wasn¡¯t forced to sleep on the floor even if it meant everything else was just rocks repurposed into furniture and my stove was a campfire.

    It was still fun though. Camping is waaaay better when you are tough enough to ignore small sticks and stones poking you constantly.

    I shook my head. Enough getting distracted. I needed to think of a way to beat up the big blue bully. The problem was, Superman was just too fast for me right now. I had gotten lucky with my <s>cheap shot</s> sneak attack, but otherwise nothing I had tried got close. I hadn¡¯t managed to figure out Ki sense on my own yet either.

    So I needed to get faster or get better at hitting things.

    I thought about the heroes I could potentially train against.

    The Flash was slower than Superman, right?

    -o-

    Central City was¡­fine I guess.

    After Metropolis I had kinda hoped that all the new cities I checked out would be cool and interesting. Gotham was probably going to be filthy but it at least had a cool aesthetic. But from what I saw of Central City so far was that it was¡­normal.

    At least the Flash museum would be pretty neat. Was that built yet? Probably not, everyone seemed pretty new.

    Meh.

    I kinda just wandered down the streets hoping to catch a glimpse of the Flash, but I wasn¡¯t getting much luck. So I tried multitasking by practicing sensing other people¡¯s ki.

    I wasn¡¯t having much luck with that either.

    ¡°Whoa, watch yourself kid!¡± A hand stopped me from walking forward just as a car passed by in the street.

    Had I been zoning out that much? Oops.

    ¡°You gotta be careful crossing the street.¡± the man who stopped me continued. ¡°And where are your parents? Central is pretty safe but kids shouldn¡¯t be walking around by themselves.¡±

    Did my entrance not make the news? An alien spaceship attacked Metropolis, I should be famous!

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    Although come to think about it, I didn¡¯t see a bunch of cameras around when I showed up. Maybe they didn¡¯t have a good picture of me?

    ¡°I can take care of myself.¡± I told the man. ¡°Besides, I''m here looking for someone.¡±

    ¡°Oh, going to a costume party? It¡¯s a really cool outfit. The tail looks pretty real too.¡±

    ¡°My tail IS real.¡± I waved the thing at him for emphasis. ¡°And I said I¡¯m looking for a person not a party.¡±

    We were starting to draw attention. Pedestrians were whispering between themselves and pointing. While I didn¡¯t mind it at first, the longer it went on, the more annoying it got.

    *CRASH*

    Oh hey look a distraction!

    The sound of something large crumbling to rubble grabbed everyone¡¯s attention and I felt it was a perfect excuse to leave.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna - well, that¡¯s just rude.¡± the man I had been talking to vanished before I could ditch him!

    Ignoring that I lifted off the ground and started floating towards the sound from earlier.

    Good news is I found the Flash. Too bad he was fighting that ice villain of his. Shoot, what was his name? Commander Chill? Private Popsical? Something like that.

    Anyway, the villain had just robbed a jewelry store and had frozen then shattered a wall during his escape. Now he was taunting the Flash while blasting the ground around him with some kind of frost gun, causing Flash to slide right past him when he tried getting close.

    It was neat to see a real superhero fight but I wanted to start training soon, so when Flash slammed into a nearby parked car I floated over until I was in front of him.

    ¡°Hi there, I¡¯m Califa! I need you to help me.¡±

    The speedster seemed surprised and kept looking between me and checking up on the villain. ¡°Ah, sure mysterious floating monkey kid. But I¡¯m a little busy right now and it¡¯s dangerous, so why don¡¯t we talk once I take care of Captain Cold there?¡±

    So THAT was his name! I knew I was close.

    ¡°Hiding behind kids now, Flash? Not very ¡®heroic¡¯ of you.¡± the ice villain taunted while twirling his cold gun.

    ¡°I¡¯m not hid-!¡±

    ¡°Look, can we wrap this up already? I¡¯ve got things to do.¡± I interrupted Flash. ¡°So just give up already so we can get going.¡±

    ¡°...¡± I think I might have made Captain Cold a bit angry. ¡°You know what? I don¡¯t want to deal with some random superpowered kid so why don¡¯t you cool off in timeout for now.¡±

    The next thing I knew, I was suddenly covered in some kinda weird ice.

    Weird because, yeah it was cold, but I could breathe through it? I don¡¯t think you can breathe through normal ice.

    Still, Captain Cold had trapped me in about an inch of ice so that meant he attacked me. And that meant he was fair game.

    I focused my Ki and exploded it outward, shattering the ice and freeing me to both Flash and Captain Cold¡¯s surprise.

    ¡°My turn!¡±

    I pitched a sphere of Ki into the ice villain¡¯s chest hard enough to knock him off his feet and into a parked car. If the Ki orb didn¡¯t knock him out of the fight, the cracked ribs from denting the vehicle¡¯s doors probably would. He would be fine though. It was only a few bones at most.

    ¡°Okay, now you have to help me!¡± I ordered Flash, grabbing him by the wrist and starting to lead him off.

    ¡°Uhhh, sure¡­he''s gonna be okay though, right?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll be fine, I barely hit him.¡±

    Unfortunately Flash refused to leave until Captain Cold got picked up by the cops and an EMT.

    He was fine just like I promised. His ribs would heal in a few weeks.

    -o-

    ¡°So you want to explain what you need my help for? I don¡¯t mind helping but you¡¯ve been kinda light on details.¡±

    ¡°I need you to help me get faster.¡±

    We were in the middle of some random field outside the city limits because I didn¡¯t want to be tripping over random people while doing this and frankly, I was surprised the Flash didn¡¯t ask sooner.

    ¡°Get faster? I mean I appreciate the thought but you know not everyone can just do what I do, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but if I¡¯m working my way up to Superman levels of speed, then it just makes sense to train with someone a bit slower right? And you could help me just get used to keeping up with people faster than me.¡±

    The speedster opened his mouth to say something when I could practically see the moment his train of thought latched onto something I said.

    ¡°Hold on, Superman is fast but he is not faster than me. I¡¯m the fastest man alive.¡± he protested.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± I tilted my head doubtfully. I mean Flash was fast but¡­

    ¡°Yes, yes I¡¯m sure! You know what, fine, I¡¯ll help you get faster. And we¡¯ll do it the fun way.¡±

    I perked up. ¡°Fun way?¡±

    The scarlet speedster nodded sagely. ¡°Yep, using the best way there is to get used to moving fast¡­¡±

    He walked over to me and slowly reached out one finger. Poking me in the forehead.

    ¡°Tag, you¡¯re it.¡±

    I smiled widely and flared my Ki.

    It was so on¡­

    -o-

    ¡°Ha, ha, haah¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re doing better! You almost got me that time.¡±

    Hours later I was tired, sweaty, exhausted. Not only had I not come close to catching the Flash he hadn¡¯t run out of breath the entire time we were training. And this was including the times he had to run back into Central City to help break up a crime while I took a break to recover.

    It was working though!

    I was already able to move much faster than when we first started thanks to all the practice I was getting controlling my Ki. Flash had also given me pointers about my running form when I got too tired to fly. And the biggest improvement was that I figured out Ki sense!

    No idea how I managed that last one, but I think it had to do with me constantly trying to find Flash when he sped away and something just clicked. I didn¡¯t even realize I had done it until Flash mentioned something.

    ¡°One¡­one more time¡­¡± I panted, wiping sweat off my forehead.

    ¡°Sorry, kid. I gotta head back to the city. I¡¯ve got another appointment.¡± He waved his hands in front of him negatively. ¡°But keep up those exercises we started on and you should be way faster in no time!¡±

    ¡°Pfft, fine.¡± I grudgingly accepted. I was getting hungry anyway.

    ¡°Great! Now take care and don¡¯t do anything dangerous. Don¡¯t want a newbie hero biting off more than she can chew too quickly, right?¡± Flash had the audacity to ruffle my hair before vanishing back towards the city in a blur.

    Wait¡­

    Hero?

    I did tell him I was working my way up to take on Superman though?

    Meh, oh well. He¡¯ll figure it out at some point.

 Chapter 4

    I had a problem.

    It wasn''t even a fun problem like how to get faster so I could punch Flash, or get strong enough to take down evil-Superman.

    It was a boring problem of ''I''m sick of eating fire roasted deer and almost nothing else''.

    Sure it was tasty and when I swung by a lake I was able to easily grab a few fish. But there was no flavor! It was just boring meat and boring fish. And I already didn''t like fish that much!

    So like I said, a problem.

    I couldn''t exactly go around clearing out restaurants either. The amount of food required to satisfy a Saiyan was far more than a normal person would allow a child to order without either asking where my parents were or at least demanding that I could pay in advance. And I didn''t want to have a meal interrupted by someone trying to arrest me. That would be dumb.

    I guess there was always the option of getting stuff from a supermarket or something and making it myself, but there was another problem there.

    I had no money.

    That tended to be a major issue when trying to buy things unless you were a politician or businessman. Then you just took out a loan or asked other people to pay the bill for you. Anyways, I had no money. And I sure as hell wasn''t going to rob a grocery store of all things. That was like bottom D-tier villainy at best and I had more class than that.

    So that meant I needed some kind of plan.

    -o-

    Planning didn''t go very well.

    I either made them too complicated (like trying to figure out how to manipulate the resuppliers to put everything I wanted on one truck so I could steal that) or just silly once I let my imagination run wild (not entirely sure where I was going to get a Mariachi band with flamethrowers to act as a distraction while I stealthily walked away with everything), when I realized another very simple flaw in my process.

    I still had no money so I couldn''t bribe or hire people. Which made my plans useless!

    That was okay though, I was a smart villain. If I didn''t have enough money to complete my plan then I would just have to steal more! That would work! And then I could spend all I wanted finding a flamethrowing music band to help me.

    ¡­or I could just use the stolen money to buy food. That would make much more sense.

    I thought about it for a bit before shrugging and leaving that decision to future-me. I had a robbery to plan.

    -o-

    Man, I was bad at planning robberies.

    Well no, I was great at planning them. It''s just when it came to making them realistic I got a little¡­too enthusiastic. That was fine though. So what if reality was unable to appreciate my genius? Everything was possible somehow, I would just have to keep working at it.

    "Next, please."

    I mentally shelved my plans for a volcano fortress and walked up to the teller with a winning smile. No, I wasn''t nervous. Why would you think that?

    It''s not like this was my first actual robbery and I had no idea what I was doing.

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    "Hello sweetheart, how can I help you today?" The teller asked kindly. Aw man, why did she have to be nice? And I guess she couldn''t see my armor or tail with them covered up by a jacket I grabbed on the way here.

    "Hi, sorry I''ve never done this before." I said <s>nervously</s>. "I''d like to make a withdrawal."

    "Sure thing. Do you have your account number?"

    "Um, no I don''t have an account number. This is a robbery. I''m robbing you."

    The teller frowned. "I see¡­"

    Then the door burst open as five men in masks with machine guns rushed in screaming for people to get on the floor.

    -o-

    "She''s just a little girl." The teller pleaded with the robber pointing a gun at my head.

    I wasn''t upset by that. By all appearances I was indeed a little girl. Wasn''t even upset about the gun to the head. It was a good way to motivate the nice teller lady to open the vault. (also she was apparently one of the people in the bank that could get into the vault. Not sure why she was working a station then.)

    No, I was annoyed because, somehow, someone else decided to rob the same bank I was going to, at the same time, in Metropolis of all places.

    You might think robbing a bank here would be stupid with the Blue Bully ready to pop up at any point, but the thing about knowing his secret identity is that I could plan around his absence. I totally didn''t get lucky watching the news skimming for something to watch and seeing him standing next to Lois Lane in a conference in Florida yesterday.

    "I don''t give a fuck lady. And unless you want a new hole in her head, keep your mouth shut and keep moving."

    "At least let her go¡­"

    And it wasn''t like these idiots knew Superman was out of town. So they decided ''yeah, we can totally rob a bank in Metropolis and get away'' despite being totally normal humans with some guns.

    "...you listenin'' to me, brat?" The jerk jabbed me in the shoulder with his gun. "I said get in the vault!"

    Oh neat, that was open now.

    "Not really. Got distracted by how stupid this is."

    "You calling me stupid?"

    "That''s not what she said! Please¡­" the teller begged again.

    "Shut up! I think she called me stupid. The hells the world coming to when brats talk back to their betters? I oughta beat the shit outta you to teach you respect, just like dear old dad." He swung the butt of his gun at my jaw but I was done with this guy.

    My fingers closed around the plastic-like material and shattered it with a light squeeze.

    While the two humans were standing slack jawed at that, I punched the robber in the stomach.

    Lightly, so I didn''t kill him. But yeah, he wasn''t getting back up.

    "Oh my god, you''re a metahuman!" Teller-lady exclaimed once she got over her shock. I frowned.

    "I''m a Saiyan, not a human."

    "Wait, you mean that alien that crash landed in the middle of the city and said you were here to conquer Earth? That''s you?!"

    "Yep."

    The lady went quiet and looked at the robber facedown on the floor. "You aren''t working with them are you?" She asked softly.

    "No? Why would you think that?"

    "Because you said you were robbing the place right before they broke in." She pointed out reasonably.

    "Yeah, no. Not working with them. Kinda mad they ruined my first robbery."

    "Why were you going to commit a robbery in the first place?"

    Because I wanted more food and wasn''t going to taint my supervillain reputation by stealing from restaurants. So¡­

    "The internet said I should." I lied proudly.

    "...the¡­internet?"

    "Yep, I wanted to get more supplies since I wasn''t expecting to take more than a couple days taking over your planet. But you need money for that. So I found out from your internet that illegal aliens need to steal your jobs, your women, and your money to get more stuff.

    I have a job, I''m too young for a wife, but I needed money so I looked up how I''m supposed to steal money. And one place said that most people rob banks for more money."

    "That''s¡­" The poor lady had no idea how to deal with my logic. But she shook herself and refocused. "Ignoring that for now, there are still four more men with guns out there. We need to hide until the police show up."

    I shrugged and walked into the vault where I started stuffing random bills into various pockets. "You can do that. I''m just gonna take this and leave."

    "You''re still robbing us?!"

    "Well, yeah. I still want food."

    "You can''t just take things that belong to other people!"

    "Sure I can. Saiyans do it all the time back home." ''Probably.''

    By then I had loaded up a few thousand dollars and walked back out. The teller made no move to stop me but she was looking pretty distressed.

    "I¡­you¡­" She sighed. "This is not how I expected today to go. What''s your name sweetheart?"

    Same here lady. "I''m Califa. Nice to meet you."

    Her lips twitched in a hint of a smile. "I''m Samantha. We both know I probably can''t stop you from taking that money. But do you think you can do me a favor?"

    A favor? I cocked my head to the side, interested at what she could possibly want a favor for right now.

    "You''re pretty strong right? And fast, too? I saw some clips of you fighting Superman even if they weren''t that good."

    "Yep! I''m training to get faster too! So the next time we fight, I''ll win and take over the planet."

    "Training to¡­nevermind. Do you think you can beat up the other robbers on your way out? In a way no one else gets hurt?" She asked.

    I shrugged. "Sure? I was going to beat them up anyways for ruining my first time."

    "Oh¡­good¡­"

    I didn''t feel like there was much else to say to Samantha at that point so I made my way back to the main lobby where the other robbers were still shouting at people.

    I introduced myself to the first one by kicking him in the stomach, flipped in the air to blast two of them with a Ki attack, and turned to the last one just in time to catch a bullet in the mouth. Then the guy decided to just mag-dump me and kept firing.

    The bystanders began screaming at the sound of gunfire and everyone panicked when my head snapped back. They only calmed down a bit when my hands kept moving after the first shot and the gunman''s weapon clicked empty. While they were all staring, I brought my head back forward and spit out the bullet I had caught and brought my hands up to eye level. With a slow deliberate motion I opened them and let the flattened pieces of lead pour out of my hands and clatter on the floor.

    "I am so fucking sorry." The gunman whimpered as I started floating towards him.

    "You''re going to be." I promised. Then I punched him in the nose.

    The other robbers were dealt with, I had my money, and no sign of the cops or Superman. I could call my first robbery, despite some setbacks, a success.

    Now then, off to buy groceries.

    In another city, of course. I wasn''t an idiot.

 Chapter 5

    ¡°-have a cold front moving in from the North, so expect temperatures to fall into the high fifties, low sixties for the next few days. That¡¯s it for the weather, now back to you ¨C hey, what are you doing here?¡± the weatherman exclaimed as he spotted me walking onto the set.

    In fact multiple people were surprised to see me walking in. I always thought news stations had different rooms for things like weather and all that. Turns out they are just off to the side. Huh, neat.

    I gave myself a mental shove. I needed to focus, this was a crucial step in the plan for my continued training.

    ¡°Hi there, is this the newsroom? I need to send a message into the city.¡± I said cheerfully. Out of the corner of my eye I could see whispered conversations happening among the crew. Apparently a few people knew me on sight now, but plenty of others had no clue who I was.

    That would probably change after today.

    ¡°You can¡¯t be in here, we¡¯re in the middle of a broadcast.¡± One of the crew said in a hissed whisper, moving towards me and trying to shove me out of the room even as others tried to stop him.

    ¡°So this is the right place? Good.¡±

    Some people screamed when the light yellow Ki ball struck the man in the chest, knocking him over. I mean, in their defense, they had no idea I had basically just pushed him over from a distance. But still¡­loud.

    ¡°Oh relax, he¡¯s fine. Now then which one of these is on¡­?¡±

    I looked around until I spotted a camera with a red dot on it and realized the crew hadn¡¯t stopped filming since I showed up, so it was still on the weatherman. With a little push, I kicked off the ground and floated around him.

    ¡°Hey, do you mind stepping away for a sec? I need to say something.¡± The man was backpedaling away before I even finished my sentence. ¡°Thank you!¡±

    I turned to the camera and smiled widely. ¡°Hello future subjects of the Saiyan race, as many of you know I¡¯m Califa and I¡¯ve been tasked with taking over your planet! I was doing a good job too until I, uh, kindasortalosttoSuperman, but I¡¯ve been training!¡± I skipped over the unimportant stuff. ¡°Now I¡¯m ready for a rematch, but since your buildings are super fragile I¡¯m moving the fight outside the city so we can go all out from the beginning!

    So, Superman! I will face you 50 miles south of the city tomorrow at noon! If you fail to show up then I will take that as your forfeit!¡±

    ¡°Ah, um, excuse me. Ms Califa?¡± A young man nervously called out from behind one of the cameras. ¡°What happens if he doesn¡¯t show, or just see your message?¡±

    I blinked. ¡°Wait, you can¡¯t just keep repeating what I said to make sure he sees?¡±

    ¡°Uh, well, this is live so¡­no?¡±

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°...oh.¡±

    That wasn¡¯t part of my plan. If Superman didn¡¯t even know we were supposed to fight, how could I test how much stronger I was? I mean sure I could attack the city again but that would mean <s>getting spanked again</s> holding back too much and not giving it my best. I couldn¡¯t decide what to train next if the fight ended before we got going.

    Maybe I could come back every hour to make a new announcement? No, that wouldn¡¯t work. The whole point of going on the news was to give me some free time to make sure nothing got in the way. The last thing I needed was a random hiker wandering into the area to ruin the whole fight.

    ¡°Um, can you just make a recording and play that later?¡±

    The young man looked around but everyone else seemed to have lost their voice.

    ¡°None of you have a way to get a hold of him? Something like what that Bat-guy does in Gotham?¡±

    ¡°Not unless you count kidnapping his girlfriend¡­¡± Someone muttered in the back.

    ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°Ah, nothing! Just saying it would be best to ask one of his friends?¡±

    Would that work? There was currently no Justice League, so no help there. And even if the other heroes took the message then I would end up fighting them which ruined the whole plan to fight Superman anyway.

    No, that was too unreliable.

    ¡°Um, I guess I¡¯ll just show up before the fight is supposed to start? You guys can still repeat the message right? Even without me being recorded?¡±

    ¡°So you aren¡¯t going to hold us hostage or attack the studio if Superman doesn¡¯t show?¡± Another person called out despite another coworker jabbing him repeatedly in the ribs.

    ¡°Uh, no? Why would I do tha-¡±

    ¡°Or go on a rampage through the city?¡±

    ¡°I mean maybe I¡¯ll shoot off a couple blasts just to get his attention-¡±

    ¡°And destroy a few skyscrapers!¡±

    ¡°What!? No!¡± I just wanted a fight not to level a city. ¡°The whole point of me moving the fight out of the way is so that we DON¡¯T ruin the place.¡±

    ¡°What about-¡± At this point his coworker put his hand over the guy¡¯s mouth and physically restrained him.

    This¡­was not how I expected this to go.

    ¡°I¡¯m just gonna go¡­¡±

    -o-

    The newsroom staff watched nervously as the alien child floated out of the studio.

    As soon as she was out of sight, the man who had been restraining his coworker released him and slapped him upside the head.

    ¡°Are you trying to get us all killed, you moron?!¡±

    ¡°Hey, I just found out three very important things. Thank you very much! And you know the Execs wanted more about the girl if we could get it.¡±

    ¡°Yes! From the reporters and investigators! Not from the video crew!¡± The man looked ready to beat some sense into his companion before he sighed. ¡°Whatever, what did you learn that was so important?¡±

    ¡°Well, one, she really is just a kid. My nieces get flustered and run off the exact same way when they are mid plan and discover an obstacle they didn¡¯t think about and I suggest a bunch of things they don¡¯t want to do in a row.

    Two, she isn¡¯t going to use hostages or anything like that. She didn¡¯t even give that idea another thought. Maybe a cultural thing? I¡¯m sure some anthropologist would love that data point.

    And three, she doesn¡¯t want to destroy the city. Even said so herself!¡±

    ¡°So let me get this straight. You risked all of our lives because the would-be alien conqueror acted like your kid nieces? What if she just blasted you with one of those laser balls or whatever they are?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d be fine. She did it to Dave and all he got was a little dirty from rolling on the floor.¡±

    Everyone in the room was now looking at their coworker with various levels of stunned disbelief or anger. Especially the ones who had seen the same yellow energy orbs melt metal in seconds and hit Superman hard enough to send him flying out of the city.

    ¡°...you¡¯re an idiot.¡±

    -o-

    Clark Kent sighed as he watched a recording of Califa¡¯s challenge to Superman for the third time. The girl¡¯s announcement had gone viral on practically every video hosting site and social media platform around in minutes.

    At this point it would be harder to find someone in the city who hadn¡¯t seen it than those who had.

    Oddly, part of him was relieved Califa hadn¡¯t deviated from her mission of taking over the planet by defeating it¡¯s champions. He had been worried when it was reported she had robbed a bank that it would be the beginning of another rampage by a superpowered alien. That worry lessened when reports of her buying groceries of all things a few hours later, but it did confuse the hell out of him.

    The rest was just resigned to the massive headaches this event would cause in the future. Anti-alien factions were starting to form due the rising number of verified extraterrestrial visitors on Earth, and an alien hijacking a news broadcast to declare hostile intentions and call him out in particular was going to be twisted by someone he was sure. Irregardless that this was the action of a child.

    A child that was smart enough to research things on the local internet despite being from another planet on a mission of subjugation, but a child nonetheless.

    He hoped he could settle this before some hothead decided the military needed to be involved and more people got hurt.

    Even if it ruined his lunch plans.

 Chapter 6

    Lex Luthor was many things. Rich. Intelligent. A ruthless businessman with a keen instinct. Yet, there was one aspect that he prided himself in above all others.

    Being able to manipulate the masses at whim.

    Right now he was watching the challenge to the Alien sent by the Saiyan child. Like everything, it was simply another situation he could twist to his favor. The only question remained, what would be the best move at the moment?

    Unlike most of the things that made the news, this wasn¡¯t something he knew was coming in advance. It was sudden, spontaneous. And it wasn¡¯t like this child had any contacts or subordinates he could spy on or recruit to keep tabs on her. No, this was a rare opportunity with a small window to take advantage of it before it was too late.

    Many plans of action whirled through his mind, each carefully evaluated before being refined or discarded.

    He could push for a military response, through several proxies naturally, and have them attack the site of this duel. If they managed to kill off the Saiyan then it would be one less alien thinking they could come in and take over because they were physically superior. Of course if they failed he was sure he would be able to convince several people in both the military and the government to increase sales and funding for L-Corp weapons.

    It was a tempting plan, but one he ultimately had to push aside. It would have worked if the invader didn¡¯t look like a child. While people were scared of the Saiyan¡¯s power, they weren¡¯t so scared they would be willing to be attached to an operation gunning after a twelve year old. While his more pragmatic contacts would have no issue with the deed, they would be crucified by public response.

    No, that option was out.

    He could always hire a mercenary to attack both of them¡­

    No, the timeframe was too short for anyone competent.

    Very well, it seemed direct action was off the table this time. But Luthor did not make it to where he was today by being unable to adapt his strategies. If being direct wouldn¡¯t work, he would be indirect.

    He pressed a button on his desk that opened the intercom to the lobby outside his office.

    ¡°Come in.¡±

    Luthor leaned back in his chair as his right hand woman, Mercy Graves, walked into the room.

    ¡°What can I do for you, Lex?¡±

    He gave his favorite henchwoman a rare natural smile. Her absolute loyalty to him and her competency were just two of the reasons he relied on her as much as he did. Her ruthlessness and willingness to follow orders instantly just made her even more useful.

    ¡°I¡¯ve decided what we are going to do about our visitor¡¯s little challenge.¡± He said slowly. ¡°Get a few camera crews out to the location specified. As many stations as possible. We are going to make sure the whole country sees this.¡±

    ¡°Yessir, right away.¡±

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    Instant obedience. How refreshing.

    Yes, this was the best move he could make right now. If the Alien won, and Luthor could easily admit it was likely he would, the country would be witness to their beloved idol of justice beating on a child. If for some reason he lost, then he was no longer the unbeatable symbol they held him up as and his influence would wane. Of course if the camera crews happened to be killed¡­well, that just goes to show how dangerous it is to let these aliens run loose where normal people could get hurt now didn¡¯t it?

    -o-

    When I first picked the place for my rematch with Superman, I thought about recreating the tiled floor seen in the World Martial Arts tournament or the Cell Games but couldn¡¯t due to the lack of giant mountains I could carve up for tiles. I mean I also wasn¡¯t strong enough to just whip up tiles like I remember Cell doing, but the thought was there.

    Instead I settled for a wide flat patch of ground far from pretty much everything. It would be fine if we spent most of the time flying right?

    So imagine my surprise when I found nearly a dozen different news crews converging on my location minutes before my scheduled fight. These people did realize I was about to fight Superman right? That the whole reason I moved the fight from the city was because I didn¡¯t want squishy people getting in the way? Were they suicidal or just dumb?

    Well I still had some time to kill¡­

    ¡°Heeyyy! What are you guys doing here?¡± I called down to them once I flew over. ¡°And can you leave? I have a fight in a few minutes and I don¡¯t want us getting distracted.¡±

    I definitely took them by surprise because most of them jumped, some of them fumbled with the equipment they had been unloading, and one unfortunate guy dropped a camera lens down. I winced at that last one. That was probably expensive.

    Of course the reporters didn¡¯t just instantly jump to obey me, that would be too easy.

    ¡°Excuse me, miss, I¡¯m Danny Demaris; reporter for Channel 7. Would you mind a short interview?¡±

    Was there something about being a reporter that required getting up close and personal with things that could kill you? The other guys at the news station seemed the same. Maybe it wasn¡¯t a Lois Lane thing, but something that all reporters did and she only survived it because of Superman¡­

    Actually, that reminded me.

    ¡°I guess I can talk to you for a bit if you don¡¯t mind answering a question first?¡±

    The reporter checked to make sure his cameraman was recording before eagerly nodding his head yes.

    ¡°Can you only be a reporter if your name starts with the same two letters?¡±

    ¡°...I¡­what?¡±

    ¡°I mean, I didn¡¯t really go looking for a bunch of reporter names but there¡¯s Lois Lane, Vikky Vale, and you¡¯re Danny Demaris. All of you have names that start with the same letter. I guess there¡¯s Clark Kent too, but his names only sound similar. Is he not a very good reporter then?¡±

    Hah, take that you Big, Blue Bully! Even if I can¡¯t physically beat you up yet, I can still make fun of your alter ego.

    ¡°...¡± Donny took a second to recover before giving me a strained smile and attempting to move on. ¡°I¡¯m sure Mr. Kent is a fine reporter and it has nothing to do with his name. The alliteration of the other names is just coincidence.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that when a word sounds like the sound it makes?¡± I knew what alliteration meant of course, but I had an image to sell.

    ¡°No, that''s onomatopoeia.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡±

    ¡°...Anyways, there have been a lot of scared people since your arrival asking what exactly your intentions are with the planet.¡±

    I waited for him to continue with a question, but he just looked at me expectantly. Was I supposed to respond to that?

    ¡°Okay¡­?¡±

    ¡°What is your response to those people. Any clues to your motivations, that might explain why you are here?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m here to take over the planet by beating your champions.¡± I repeated the public reason I was doing anything.

    ¡°Yes, but why? Is it for resources? For territory?¡±

    Going by my original mission it would be to exterminate everything on the planet and sell it off, but I wasn¡¯t about to say that on TV! Time to use the politician¡¯s second most popular trick in the book: blaming someone else and changing topics.

    ¡°I dunno, I was just sent here to take it over. It¡¯s taking longer than I thought it would but I¡¯ve been having fun! You have some interesting things here, even if most of you are weaklings.¡±

    Donny looked a little annoyed at my response but kept his tone polite. ¡°Aren¡¯t you worried about people getting hurt though? Your first appearance did quite a bit of damage to Metropolis.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°A little? I don¡¯t want to hurt people who aren¡¯t fighters but I can¡¯t stop people from being stupid. I mean, I tried to have my rematch out here away from anyone else and you guys followed me anyway. Seems kinda dumb to worry about getting hurt if your gonna go looking for it.¡±

    Now the reporter was definitely annoyed. I could see him clenching his jaw at my comments to not blurt something out.

    ¡°Well, what can I say? Channel 7 has a good medical plan.¡± He tried joking.

    I tilted my head ¡®innocently¡¯. ¡°Wait, does this planet not give people the same level of medicine for everyone? Do only certain people get healed?¡±

    ¡°No, of course not.¡± Donny backtracked. ¡°Everyone in the country can get the same care at a hospital. My company just lets me not pay for it as much-¡±

    ¡°You have to PAY for a hospital?!¡± I exclaimed, ¡®shocked¡¯ at this revelation. ¡°That¡¯s so weird. How do you stop people from making things super expensive for no reason, or not curing diseases because they get paid more if people stay longer?¡±

    ¡°We have a very good system in place to make sure everyone gets the care they need.¡± Donny assured me, not very well considering the stiff looking smile he had on his face.

    ¡°If you say so. Anyway, it¡¯s time for my fight. If you guys don¡¯t wanna risk getting in the way you should go home.¡± I gave them one last piece of advice before flying back into the air and looking at the direction I could sense Superman coming from.

    Okay, round two!

 Chapter 7

    I hid my excitement behind a confident smile and crossed arms as Superman slowed to a stop and hovered in front of me. There was just something about having the chance to go all out that got my heart racing.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you got my message, I want a proper fight this time!¡± I declared.

    Superman sighed and relaxed his stance a bit. ¡°Are you sure about that? We could try resolving this another way.¡±

    ¡°Nope, has to be a fight.¡±

    ¡°Because of your mission? You said you were here to conquer the planet for your race, but you moved the fight all the way out here so no one gets hurt so I know you aren¡¯t just going to mindlessly destroy everything.¡± Superman said, delaying the start of our fight even more¡­also oops, definitely giving people the wrong impression of Saiyans now. ¡°Is there some way we could try negotiating with your leader to leave us alone?¡±

    I mean, probably? If the Planet Trade Organization was a real thing here then there had to be someone they didn¡¯t kill off or enslave right away. Since they needed, you know, people to actually buy and trade the planets they took over.

    Not that I, as a disposable shock trooper, would know how to get ahold of them anyway, but I guess I needed to give him some kind reason to fight me without me attacking the city.

    ¡°Alright, if you can beat me then I¡¯ll tell you everything I know about talking to our leader.¡± I declared, settling into a more offensive stance.

    ¡°...Okay, it¡¯s a deal the¨C¡±

    I didn¡¯t wait for him to finish before I launched myself forward and attempted to bury my fist in his face.

    Superman caught it before that could happen though.

    One hand firmly captured, I could tell by the way he was bringing up his other hand he was expecting me to try punching him again like our last fight. He wasn¡¯t expecting me to use my hand as a pivot point to kick him instead.

    It was awkward, especially because in order to kick Superman I ended up twisting my whole body around and away from him, but I still hit hard enough to not only free myself but also send him flying.

    He recovered quickly though.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re not hitting normal people that hard. You¡¯d really hurt them.¡± Superman commented, rubbing his jaw.

    I scoffed. ¡°Humans are too weak for me to need to do that.¡± And they¡¯d probably pop if I hit them that hard.

    ¡°They might surprise you. Humanity might not be the most physically strong race out there, but we are plenty strong in other ways.¡±

    I was tempted to point out he wasn¡¯t human though, but who was I to tell him what he could or could not consider himself? It¡¯s not like he was saying he physically wasn¡¯t kryptonian, just that he considered himself human. No different than if someone was born in Japan and grew up in America or something like that. Yeah they were born somewhere else but they likely didn¡¯t think of their birth nation as home if they were only there as a baby.

    Or maybe they did? I guess different people could have¡­

    While I was distracted by my thoughts Superman blurred to the side. If this had been before my training with the Flash I wouldn¡¯t have been able to keep up with him, but I was used to this level of speed now. I was easily able to see the open hand coming straight at me, confirming Superman was a jerk. He was still trying to spank me!

    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    Not this time you blue jerk!

    Ki gathered in my palms and with a loud shout I blasted him in the stomach with two beams of energy, swatting him out of the air and into a nearby cliffside.

    ¡°Ha, I¡¯ve been training for our rematch Superman! You can¡¯t cheat like last time!¡± I laughed as I floated closer to him. He was half buried in dirt and rocks, but he didn¡¯t look particularly bothered by it either.

    ¡°Cheat? How did I cheat?¡± He asked, sounding a little incredulous.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t fight properly!¡± I yelled, angry he was trying to sound innocent. ¡°Spanking people when you are supposed to be fighting them isn¡¯t fighting! It¡¯s harassment!¡±

    ¡°H-harassment?!¡± Superman coughed. ¡°Where did you hear that from?!¡±

    ¡°Internet!¡±

    He sighed and pulled himself out of the cliffside. ¡°I wasn¡¯t trying to spank you,¡± he lied. ¡°I was trying to restrain you so I could get some answers. I can tell you¡¯re powerful, but running around causing trouble is going to get a lot of people hurt eventually. And I really don¡¯t think I can seriously fight a child¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m a Saiyan warrior, not just some kid!¡± I protested. ¡°And the only way you¡¯re getting me to talk is to beat me in a proper fight! Now stop stalling!¡±

    Superman sighed again. ¡°Alright then¡­¡±

    And then he was gone. Faster than Flash had moved during our training, but not quite as fast as I had seen him move, so I was already swinging a fist to hit him in the face. But to my surprise I hit nothing but air. How did he ¨C

    ¡°Gah!¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but gasp in pain as Superman¡¯s palm dug itself deeper into my stomach. It hurt, but I also started smiling. He was finally taking me seriously!

    I smacked his hand away and tried using that momentum to kick him, but once again I hit nothing but air. This time Superman grabbed my arm as I went sailing past and swung me around before throwing my high into the sky.

    Which was really disorienting. I spent a few seconds just trying to figure out which way was which before finding Superman with my Ki sense and rushing back at him.

    For a bit I thought I was overwhelming him. I still wasn¡¯t landing any solid hits but he never managed to counterattack either. But as I paid attention to why they weren¡¯t landing I started noticing something else.

    Every kick landed short, every punch was being gently deflected or caught before it hit, and every ki blast was dodged.

    He¡­ he was toying with me wasn¡¯t he? I was wrong, he still wasn¡¯t taking me seriously at all!

    Darn it, I was tiring out too. I was starting to overextend and Superman was taking advantage by throwing me around. Literally!

    ¡°WHY. CAN¡¯T. I. HIT YOU!!!¡± I screamed, punching him with every word. None of them landed and I just got a slight smile in return that almost sent me back into a rage.

    ¡°Well, you just keep punching or kicking randomly.¡± The jerk said smugly. ¡°It caught me off guard at first, but I just needed to watch carefully to figure you out.¡±

    I froze.

    Of course! Everything I knew about fighting was basically ¡®hit it harder, hit it faster¡¯ and while it worked for anything weaker than me, anyone stronger would be able to keep up. Okay, I knew what I needed to train next!

    Superman looked a bit surprised when I smirked and drifted away from him instead of charging forward again.

    Sorry, but I got what I wanted from this fight.

    ¡°Giving up?¡± He asked. ¡°If you are, I hope you¡¯re ready to answer my questions.¡±

    My smile grew a bit sharper ¡°Nope! But I definitely can¡¯t beat you with my fists right now, so I¡¯m going to end this with my ultimate technique!¡± (out of three, but he didn¡¯t need to know that)

    I spread my fingers out and placed them by my face while I readied the ki needed for the technique.

    Superman started looking serious, watching for any sign of what I was planning.

    Perfect.

    ¡°SOLAR FLARE!¡± I shouted the name of the technique as my ki flared out in a blinding flash of light. Superman was taken completely off guard and flinched while trying to shield his eyes, for all the good it did him right now. Leaving me to complete the last part of my master plan¡­

    ¡­running away as fast as I could! I knew I couldn¡¯t win just yet, I just needed to not lose either.

    -o-

    ¡°GAH?!¡± The sudden blast of light was unexpected and Superman was half expecting a child-sized missile to come crashing into him when he was blinded, so it was a bit embarrassing when nothing happened long enough for his eyes to recover and find Califa¡¯s form flying off in the distance.

    He was tempted to fly after her and wring the answers he needed out of her because if she was anything like some of the other children he knew growing up (and she certainly reminded him of some of them) she wouldn¡¯t consider this a loss.

    Before he could chase after her, there was a scream and the sound of rocks giving way.

    Superman turned to see that some of the reporters that had stubbornly stayed in the area even though he tried to keep the fight far away from them had also been blinded by Califa¡¯s last technique and staggered too close to the cliff edge where it collapsed.

    He was already moving to catch the unfortunate reporter even as he realized the Saiyan girl would be long out of sight before he managed to calm the reporter down.

    Hopefully she would keep to her pattern of relatively harmless actions until he could properly get her to sit down for a long discussion¡­and maybe figure out what to do with her afterwards.

    If he was lucky she would stay out of trouble until then.

    -o-

    It was dark and stormy by the time I finally managed to get to my destination.

    I hadn¡¯t exactly wanted to come here looking for a martial arts teacher, but they were the best person I knew where to find and I knew they didn¡¯t mind working with villains or kids from time to time.

    ¡°Why are you following me?¡± A stern voice growled from the shadows where I had finally found my target.

    ¡°You¡¯re good at martial arts, right?¡± I asked instead.

    Lightning flashed, revealing a dark cowled figure with a bat symbol displayed prominently on his chest.

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°I want you to train me!¡±

 Chapter 8

    ¡°No.¡±

    The reply was quick, firm, and delivered so matter-of-factly that when Batman turned and walked off I was left floating dumbly behind.

    It was only when the last bit of his cape disappeared around a corner that I snapped out of my daze and chased after him.

    ¡°Hey, what do you mean no!?¡±

    ¡°No, I won¡¯t train you.¡±

    ¡°Why not!¡±

    Batman was like THE DC martial arts guy. Yeah there were people that got superpowers from their fancy martial arts or whatever, but Batman knew like all of those and mastered them too! Even if he didn¡¯t get the powers from them.

    And none of those other people ever trained a handful of tinier people that went on to kick nearly as much butt as he did. It was all ¡®I¡¯ve been chosen by some magical force~¡¯ and then Batman and his sidekicks beat them up. He had to train me!

    ¡°You¡¯re a child on a self admitted mission to take over the planet.¡± Batman pointed out dryly. ¡°It¡¯d be irresponsible for me to teach children to throw themselves into danger, even more so when you are going to be using those skills to fight us.¡±

    That was a well reasoned argument. I had a counterpoint.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have a five year old running around in tights fighting criminals? That¡¯s pretty irresponsible already.¡±

    There was a crash of shifting metal. I turned towards the sound and was shocked to see a small boy in a red and green outfit trying to pull his foot out of where it punched through a rusted air conditioner.

    How did I miss him earlier? Anyway¡­

    ¡°Yeah, him!¡± I turned back to Batman while pointing at his struggling sidekick. ¡°You train him already so train me!¡±

    Besides a slight deepening in his frown, Batman made no sign that he was bothered by Robin¡¯s blunder. ¡°Robin is a normal human that has dedicated himself to fighting crime. He isn¡¯t trying to attack the planet and has no powers. Unlike you, he needs training to live with the path he¡¯s chosen.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m eleven, not five!¡±

    I whirled back to Robin.

    ¡°Eleven is basically five. You¡¯re short enough it doesn¡¯t make a difference.¡±

    The pre-teen scowled. ¡°Yeah? Like you¡¯re one to talk, you''re only a little taller than me. How old are you anyway?¡±

    That¡­was actually a good question.

    Saiyans didn¡¯t exactly care about age. We didn¡¯t have birthday parties or anything like that. Even if we did it wasn¡¯t like the calendar of Vegeta and Earth were the same.

    ¡°I have no idea. Older than you though.¡± I said with a smirk.

    Robin bristled. ¡°How do you not know how old you are?!¡±

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    ¡°Don¡¯t know the day I was born, space travel and induced hibernation makes keeping track of time hard, and I have no idea how our time systems compare.¡± I counted the reasons on my fingers. ¡°Do you know how an Earth year compares to a Vegetian one?¡±

    ¡°No, why would I know that? How would I know that?¡±

    ¡°You asked.¡± I shrugged. ¡°Don¡¯t lose your tail over it.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a tail!¡±

    ¡°Guess that explains why you are so small and wimpy then!¡± I started floating around Robin, jabbing him occasionally with my tail despite his efforts to grab it. Too bad for him I was faster and able to fly while he was just getting angrier and sloppier because of that anger. I guess Batman hadn¡¯t trained him how to deal with flying oppone¨C

    Oh right, I was here for training, not messing with a preteen!

    I gave one last push to the middle of Robin¡¯s forehead and knocked him over before floating back to Batman.

    The Dark Knight had moved since I got distracted with Robin. Now he was standing in an area that gave him a clear view of the two of us with his hands hidden under his cape. Had he been watching us? It made sense, he probably didn¡¯t want me accidentally squishing his sidekick and Robin probably hadn¡¯t been training with him for long if he still sucked so much so he wanted to make sure he could intervene.

    ¡°Now where were we? ¡­Right, train me!¡±

    Batman remained unimpressed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have time for this.¡± He grumbled and stalked off. I naturally wasn¡¯t going to let him get away so easily and followed after him.

    It was actually kinda cool watching him sprint over rooftops. No wasted movement, no uncertainty even when he got close to the edge of a building, and it didn¡¯t look like he was moving randomly either. Eventually he came to a stop near a skylight.

    Curious, I looked inside and saw a bunch of people operating some kinda machinery inside.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked. Batman spared me a small glance and went back to studying the men below without a word.

    Rude.

    ¡°It¡¯s a counterfeiting ring run by the Mob.¡± Robin informed me as he caught up to us. I could¡¯ve sworn I saw Batman scowl more at his arrival but it was gone before I could be sure. ¡°We¡¯ve been tracking them down for the past few days.¡±

    ¡°Oh hey, you finally caught up!¡± I smirked. ¡°About time.¡±

    Robin bristled and opened his mouth but he was cut off by Batman.

    ¡°Enough. They are packing up their operation tonight. We don¡¯t have time for this.¡± He turned to look at me. ¡°Stay out of the way.¡±

    I tilted my head. ¡°If I do, will you train me?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll consider it.¡±

    Better than nothing. I nodded my acceptance and watched as the two of them went to work. Batman started things off by crashing through the skylight and blowing out the lights with one of his little boomerang things with Robin following close behind.

    I¡¯d like to say it was a cool fight and I managed to learn something just by watching, but Batman versus a bunch of random people disoriented by sudden darkness meant everything was over pretty quick. A few punches and the occasional kick and they were knocked out already. Even Robin managed to take out a few with little trouble.

    I decided to be polite and waited until they were done tying up their criminals. Once they finished I landed in front of Batman and looked up at him with sparkling, excited eyes.

    ¡°So, you¡¯ll train me now?¡±

    ¡°No, I won¡¯t.¡±

    I was crushed by this completely unforeseen betrayal.

    ¡°Whhhhhyyy!?¡± I <s>wailed</s> asked reasonably. ¡°You said you would if I stayed out of the way!¡±

    ¡°I said I would consider it. You are still hostile to Earth so I won¡¯t train you.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair!¡±

    I admit the next few minutes were not my most shining moments. I tried begging, threats, promises, and many other things trying to get Batman to give in but without success. Begging didn¡¯t seem to phase him. Threats made him point out it was exactly those reasons he refused  to train me in the first place. And everything else just seemed to bounce off the jerk. Eventually he just ignored me entirely and went about the city stopping a few more crimes and teaching his sidekick how to freerun a bit better.

    It didn¡¯t help that Robin seemed to find the whole thing hilarious.

    The wimp was getting on my nerves.

    ¡°Relax, monkey girl.¡± the bird brain smirked at me. ¡°He just said no. Don¡¯t lose your tail over it.¡±

    I saw red.

    ¡°I¡¯ll show you losing your tail!¡± I shouted and readied to throw a Ki ball at him when a gloved hand clamped around my wrist.

    I don¡¯t think any of us were fooled into thinking Batman could really stop me if I wanted to continue with my attack but blasting Bird Boy wouldn¡¯t make him train me. I was going to have to break out my ultimate technique. A move so evil and underhanded that I felt uncomfortable even considering it.

    But they left me no choice.

    I looked up at Batman and let some water gather in the corner of my eyes. ¡°You really won¡¯t train me?¡± I asked, voice trembling.

    ¡°Whoa, wait. Are you crying?¡± Robin asked, uncertainly. Even Batman looked uncomfortable in the face of my ultimate move. And this wasn¡¯t even its final form!

    ¡°N-no, I¡¯m not! You¡¯re crying!¡±

    Despite my words even more water started gathering in my eyes and spilling over my cheeks.

    Batman was still holding strong, but Robin was starting to crack.

    ¡°Br¨C Batman, what do we do?¡±

    The Caped Crusader shifted awkwardly and released my arm. I let the Ki ball dissipate and sank to the rooftop, the very picture of dejection. I heard them start to edge away and decided to break out level two of my technique, adding in some low keening sounds and hiccups.

    ¡°We¡¯re not going to really leave her here¡­are we?¡± My technique was already eating away at the unity of the heroes. It was only a matter of time now.

    I upped the intensity a bit more and knew I was close to succeeding when I heard Batman sigh and walk back over to me.

    I looked up at him when he kneeled in front of me and struggled to see through the water pouring from my eyes. A drawback from using this technique.

    ¡°You really won¡¯t?¡± I asked one more time.

    Batman sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll train you¡­if you agree to some conditions.¡±

    ¡°You promise?¡±

    ¡°...yes.¡±

    ¡°YES!¡± I ended my technique and leapt into the air with a bright smile. I knew this would work! Fake tears were one of my most evil moves but no hero could withstand it!

    ¡°Tch, I thought she was supposed to be a monkey not a crocodile. We got played¡­¡±

    I was so happy at my success I didn¡¯t even get mad at Bird Brain for the comment.

 Chapter 9

    I don¡¯t know what I was expecting training with Batman to be like. Maybe getting strapped into fake giant death traps and needing to fight off robots with one arm tied behind my back or maybe brutal hand to hand lessons in certain styles while getting quizzed on detective mysteries.

    Calmly moving through tai chi stances with Robin while a Gi-wearing Batman (He was still wearing the mask) corrected my posture was not on the list.

    ¡°This wasn¡¯t what I was expecting when you said you would train me.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but say as I moved through the forms I¡¯d been shown.

    ¡°Body control is very important for learning martial arts. Tai Chi is very good for learning both awareness and control, things you will need in other styles. Especially if you need to control your strength to human levels.¡± Batman explained again.

    ¡°Still think it¡¯s weird we agreed to train her at all.¡± Bird Brain commented. No one paid him any attention though, as was proper.

    ¡°Yeah, but this would be easier if you just used your Ki to make yourself stronger instead.¡± I insisted for probably the fifth time. ¡°Then I wouldn¡¯t need to be so careful.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve tried that. But until Robin or I can do so it would just waste time. So we¡¯ll focus on practical things first.¡±

    ¡°It would help if your instructions didn¡¯t suck.¡±

    ¡°It would help if you weren¡¯t too stupid to follow basic directions Bird Brain!¡± I snapped at Robin.

    ¡°Basic directions?! ¡®Feel the warm glowy stuff in your body and make it do stuff¡¯ aren¡¯t directions! It doesn¡¯t even make sense!¡± The moron snapped back.

    ¡°Of course, they¡¯re the basics! They¡¯re so basic I shouldn¡¯t even need to teach you how to do it! It¡¯s like asking me to teach you how to breathe!¡±

    I thought Batman would have been a really impatient guy, but he must have the patience of a saint to put up with someone as stupid as Robin.

    ¡°I take it someone taught you how to do this on your homeworld?¡± Batman asked calmly while stopping me, correcting my stance, and making me start over.

    I actually had to think about it. There weren¡¯t a whole lot of interesting memories from old-Me so I tended to not think about them a lot. Most of them were just being bored traveling from one planet to another while jerk-dad tried to get me killed off.

    ¡°Not really?¡± I eventually replied. ¡°I mean I learned some stuff by watching others but I was getting sent on missions too much for anyone to teach me.¡±

    ¡°Missions? Like the one you¡¯re on right now?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! There aren¡¯t a whole lot of Saiyans available so we usually get a mission right after we finish the last one. I think. I always got a new one a few days after I got back from the old one.¡±

    ¡°Wait, does that mean you stole planets from other races before?! How could you!¡± Robin shouted loudly.

    ¡°Robin.¡± Thankfully Batman silenced him with a stern word before turning back to me. ¡°Did you not train for these missions then?¡±

    I focused on shifting my weight the way he had shown me. ¡°Kinda? Like I did exercises and stuff, but the missions were supposed to come first. And they were kind of a let down, honestly, I always finished them super fast. The first one was supposed to be this really advanced civilization or something but they ended up blowing themselves up before I got there. I spent a long time just looking for someone before I realized I had the planet to myself.¡±

    I was so focused on my form that I didn¡¯t see Robin stumble out of his stance and stare open mouthed at me. I didn¡¯t see Batman stiffen up either.

    ¡°And how old were you at the time?¡±

    I paused what I was doing and thought about it. That was my first mission and I think it took a few months to actually get to the planet. So¡­

    ¡°Maybe three and a half or so?¡± I said uncertainly. ¡°Still no idea what that is in Earth years, but around that.¡±

    ¡°...and how many missions have you been sent on?¡±

    ¡°This is my fourth!¡± I gave him a bright smile. ¡°The second was full of giant killer reptiles that wanted to eat me.¡±

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    Robin raised an eyebrow. ¡°Giant killer reptiles, huh? How did you beat them?¡±

    I shot him a smirk. ¡°I waited until I was bigger than them and then squished them all.¡±

    Robin looked a little green at the thought. Wimp.

    ¡°What about the third?¡±

    ¡°That one was fun! It was full of carnivorous plants.¡± I replied to Batman. ¡°It was too bad about the allergies though.¡±

    ¡°Allergies?¡±

    I nodded seriously. ¡°Yep, the plants were allergic to laser beams.¡±

    ¡°Geez monkey girl, that''s really messed up.¡± Robin said.

    ¡°Your face is messed up!¡± I shouted and pounced on the brat. I wasn''t going to let him insult me like that! Batman allowed it, just as long as I stayed in human levels.

    -o-

    Coast City was similar to Metropolis in many ways.

    While it wasn¡¯t built as a testament to what the technology of tomorrow might bring to the table, it was a city that had become known for being the home of a man with powers far beyond the average person. Only instead of those powers being the result of alien biology, the Green Lantern was granted powers by alien technology and inducted into a galactic peacekeeping force.

    Similarly to Superman, Green Lantern seemed to appear when needed only to vanish once the trouble was taken care of. The fact that there were two more Green Lanterns active elsewhere made him even more mysterious¡­

    ¡­unless you happened to know that Green Lantern could be seen coming and going from the same direction multiple times at different angles and could do the math to discover his likely launch point.

    The sun was just about to set on the California coast when Green Lantern Hal Jordan landed in the alleyway a few streets down from his condo. It was a great blind spot and helped him ensure no one was going to target him while he was ¡®off the clock¡¯ as it were.

    It was also one of those places that normal people had no reason to hang around in. So seeing a costumed man waiting patiently in the middle of the alley looking like he expected Hal to be there was a bit of a shock.

    ¡°Green Lantern.¡± The man dressed up like a bat greeted him calmly.

    ¡°Uh, hi there. You¡¯re that guy from Gotham right? The urban legend?¡± Hal had been vaguely aware of the ¡®Batman¡¯ from some late night TV shows on modern day legends. He had dismissed it as just normal hoaxes trying to scare people or cheat them out of money like those Bigfoot hunter shows, but then Superman had shown up and Hal had gotten a magic ring from a dying alien. He was a little more willing to not dismiss things immediately after that.

    Bat-guy nodded. ¡°I¡¯ve heard your ring can access information from all over the galaxy. I need your help.¡±

    ¡°Woah, woah. Slow down there, spooky, yeah the ring can access the Green Lanterns¡¯ databases but we can¡¯t exactly go handing that stuff out to anyone that asks!¡± There were rules, not that Hal always agreed, but the phrase monkey with a flamethrower was a good way to sum up some of the incidents caused by other Lanterns freely sharing advanced technology.

    ¡°I only need information about an alien race that recently arrived here.¡±

    Another one? One of these days Hal really needed to figure out exactly how many aliens were actually on Earth. Still, if they were already here that meant he could justify sharing some things without issue.

    ¡°Alright, still not sure I can give you what you''re looking for but ask away. What am I looking up?¡±

    ¡°Sayians.¡±

    Hal barely needed to prompt his ring for the information before a green construct with the information scrolling down it appeared in midair.

    ¡°Anything in particular? Looks like they¡¯ve been around for quite awhile.¡±

    Tall, dark, and broody considered the request for half a second. ¡°I need to know what will happen if the person they sent to conquer a planet fails to do so.¡±

    Conquer the planet?! How had he not heard of this before now?

    [Lantern Hal Jordan - Sector 2814 requested all local media broadcasts from planet designation ¡®Earth¡¯ be muted unless there was a significant risk of life while on patrol around the sector] His ring unhelpfully informed him.

    And how was an invasion not considered a significant risk of life?!

    [Invading party was confronted by local forces and defeated in less than four local hours. Threat level was decided to be nonurgent]

    That was¡­okay, he clearly needed to tweak some settings before this happened again. The last thing he wanted was to come home to find out his city was blown up because the ring didn¡¯t think to warn him before something happened.

    ¡°Uh, okay¡­going by this, as a whole Sayians don¡¯t leave their own sector of space that often. No reports of them invading for a few hundred years. The last one was a Saiyan that turned pirate five decades ago and tried taking over a planet as a base of operations and was stopped by the local Lantern. Looks like we might just have a bad actor trying to carve out their own territory.¡±

    There was a minute frown on spooky¡¯s face that Hal might have missed if he wasn¡¯t specifically looking for it. ¡°You''re sure? According to the girl herself she has already conquered three other planets before arriving here.¡±

    ¡°Three? Did she say how?¡±

    Hal actually relaxed a bit when spooky told him about a dead civilization, a planet full of super predators, and carnivorous plants. That sounded more like someone scavenging the planets no one wanted for some reason or another. Not the beginnings of an aggressive invasion. He even said as much to his sudden visitor.

    ¡°So yeah, don¡¯t think we have much to worry about in terms of an invasion on the horizon. Give me a few hours and I¡¯ll find them and kick them off the planet. It¡¯s kinda my job after all.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t bother. I have her handled.¡±

    The invader was already beaten? This guy must be a pretty impressive metahuman if he could take down a Sayian. Hal could easily admit the average human didn¡¯t really stand a chance against one.

    ¡°Still, I should check her out. If she¡¯s invading planets then she needs to either be deported back to her race or imprisoned before she hurts people.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no need for that. I¡¯m training her to limit any collateral damage.¡±

    ¡°Woah, hold up. You¡¯re training the alien invader?!¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°...Why!?¡±

    ¡°Because she is a child acting under the orders of another to invade planets. If she stays here we can stop her from being used by whoever sent her here and potentially draw that person out. If she is sent back we might be responsible for sending a child to an abusive environment. I refuse to allow that.¡±

    Hal made a quick check on Saiyan biology to confirm this wasn¡¯t just a species that happened to look like human children making use of a cover, but sure enough, while Saiyans grew in stages unlike humans that grew continuously to adulthood ,that only meant the invader -the girl- could be as young as eight earth years or as old as fifteen. And considering they could easily live to be 200 years old, she truly was a child.

    ¡°Alright, good point. And you¡¯re sure you can control her?¡± Spooky nodded, ¡°then I¡¯ll ask the Corp to investigate any rumors of someone using Saiyan children as shocktroopers, with any luck ¨C what the hell?¡±

    The second Hal started looking for incidents regarding Saiyan children used like that he ran headfirst into a security wall marked Alpha Lantern eyes only, and the date of the block was several thousand years old. That didn¡¯t make any sense.

    ¡°Something wrong?¡±

    ¡°I got locked out when I went looking for similar incidents. That shouldn¡¯t happen without a very good reason.¡± Hal turned away so he could focus on the readings his ring was giving him. It was starting to look like he was going to take a trip to Oa to get to the bottom of things. ¡°I¡¯ll need to investigate more. You think you can keep an eye on the kid for a while?¡±

    ¡°I am training her.¡± Was the deadpan reply.

    ¡°Right, well, leave me some way to get a hold of you. If there¡¯s someone out there using kids as an invasion force, I want to make sure we can catch him and I might need to talk to the girl about that.¡±

    ¡°No need. I¡¯ll ask myself and update you if there is anything you can do.¡±

    ¡°Wait just one second,¡± Hal turned back fully expecting to give Bat-guy a reality check that this went beyond just Earth and was a Green Lantern matter, only to pause when there was no one there.

    ¡°Ring, scan for lifeforms.¡±

    [There are 4,207 Human sized lifeforms nearby within a one kilometer radius]

    Definitely was going to tweak those settings after this.

    ¡°Scan for the guy in the bat suit I was just talking to.¡±

    [There are zero lifeforms nearby meeting the criteria ¡®guy in the bat suit I was just talking to¡¯]

    Well¡­dammit.

 Chapter 10

    I wasn¡¯t too surprised to find out Batman wasn¡¯t going to be able to train me whenever I wanted. Unlike me, he had other things to do which meant he had to set aside time for preparation, investigation, maintaining his cover identity, and then his own training.

    That meant I was free to do almost whatever I wanted when he was busy.

    Batman did give me a few rules I was going to have to follow if I wanted to keep getting his training. Most of them were obvious ones like ¡®no blowing up a city¡¯ or ¡®no killing people¡¯. Things that I wasn¡¯t really interested in doing anyway so it was fine. It used to be I had to follow the law, but I started looking up all the random, nonsensical laws I could find and presenting them to him asking if I had to follow those too until he removed that one from the list and told me he would revise it when he had time.

    Which meant there was a window of time where I could do almost whatever I wanted and had a ready excuse so he couldn¡¯t get mad.

    I was going to use that time to rob a bank.

    It bothered me that my first bank robbery got interrupted, okay?! It was a classic crime, a hallmark of any successful supervillain. I wasn¡¯t going to let it remain a black mark on my career just because some stupid humans had to ruin it for me!

    Of course I couldn¡¯t just act like the first time hadn¡¯t happened at all so I wasn¡¯t going to focus on the location as much. I wasn¡¯t even entirely sure what city I was in at the moment. Just that it was somewhere in the south east. As long as I stayed out of Florida I should get some decent news coverage and help cement my reputation. I might even be able to find a few more minor heroes too. Someone I could spar against that fell somewhere between Superjerk and Batman so I could get a fight I was capable of winning but took more effort than just raising my Ki.

    And this time I wouldn¡¯t be nearly as nervous ¨C not that I was nervous the first time! ¨C because I now had some experience. I could do this, and it would go perfectly¡­

    -o-

    I couldn¡¯t stop smiling if I tried as I walked out of the bank.

    Everything had gone perfectly to plan!

    Not only was I able to break into the vault and steal a bunch of money, the teller had also managed to set off the silent alarm so I would be able to fight the police on the way out! Naturally they wouldn''t be able to stop me and I would finally get the recognition as a villain I deserved.

    My grin widened when I saw a bunch of police cars right outside and I was fully ready to launch into the mandatory monologue when I noticed something was off. None of the cops were actually looking at me.

    Instead they were looking at ¨C oh come on! That wasn¡¯t fair!

    Barely two blocks from the bank there was a bird-winged woman with a mace fighting some kind of giant lizard with a laser gun. And they were kinda trashing the place which meant they were getting my attention instead of me.

    Shoot, the woman looked familiar too. She was Hawkgirl, or was it Hawkwoman? Were they the same people? And wasn¡¯t she secretly evil for a bit? Ah, whatever. Right now she should be a hero. Which meant I might be able to fight her to make up for the fact my carefully planned robbery was ruined ¨C again!

    But first I needed to get rid of the other alien she was fighting.

    I flew up into the air and pointed a palm at the reptilian alien, a ball of Ki gathering there. Then I thought about it and how the alien was tanking the mace hits and poured even more Ki into the attack.

    The blast caught the alien completely by surprise and sent him crashing into an abandoned car¡­and the one behind it¡­¡­and the three behind those.

    I may have gone a tiny bit overboard.

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    It was fine though! I could still see him breathing so he was alive, just¡­very thoroughly knocked out.

    My attack also had the bonus effect of making the police remember why they were in front of a bank in the first place but none of them were brave enough to actually face me, they just readjusted where they were hiding so they had something between me and them.

    Hawkgirl-woman didn¡¯t seem to pick up on that immediately though.

    ¡°Thanks for the help, but I had it handled.¡± The winged woman said as she landed nearby. ¡°Lieutenant Shayera Thal of Thanagar.¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I was just upset you guys were getting in the way of my special event. I had everything going the way I wanted and you were distracting everyone else.¡± I waved at the gathered cops. ¡°Oh, and I¡¯m Califa! Nice to meet you.¡±

    ¡°Event? What kind of¡­¡± Hawkgirl-woman finally saw the police hiding from me and the building we were standing in front of as well as the bag full of money at my feet.

    ¡°...You weren¡¯t robbing this bank, were you?¡± She asked, glaring at me, well, hawkishly.

    ¡°And if I was?¡±

    ¡°Then, as a reward for helping detain another criminal, I would let you go as long as you left everything you took behind.¡±

    Her mace lit up in some weird sphere of lightning and she had a very aggressive looking grin on her face. One that I was certainly matching at this point.

    ¡°Yeah? You know what I say to that? Make me.¡±

    Alright, hero fight. Ready¡­set¡­

    ¡°Don¡¯t say I didn¡¯t give you a chance ¨C ragghhh!¡±

    Go!

    The winged heroine launched herself at me with a loud battle cry. Swinging her mace at my torso.

    I kicked the bag full of money away so it wouldn¡¯t get damaged and brought up both arms to block. To my surprise even when I flared my Ki to reduce the impact, the mace still really hurt when it hit. I could actually feel my bones creak a little from the impact. Hawkie certainly wasn¡¯t holding back!

    I was going to have to watch out for that.

    This was not the time to be distracted though, and I had to duck under another swing to avoid getting whacked again. Hawkie overshot and I was able to land a solid punch to her ribs that had her flapping her wings hard to avoid crashing into the ground. I waited patiently for her to stabilize and turn around so that when I shot a Ki beam at her, it was heading directly for her face.

    She surprised me again by actually smashing my beam backwards with her magic mace and I had to move fast to avoid getting hit with my own energy. Of course by the time I had done that Hawkie was right in front of me again. I tried flying backwards to get out of the way but she was faster. That didn¡¯t mean I was going to let her get a free hit though. Since I couldn¡¯t dodge, I leaned into her swing and used the impact to increase the momentum for a solid kick to her face. Unfortunately between my own shorter legs not managing to fully connect and her bird shaped helmet the attack didn¡¯t seem to do much.

    This time it was my turn to attack and I rushed forward to take advantage of the fact that Hawkie¡¯s flight was reliant on actual wings. Two simultaneous Ki beams forced her to pull them closer since there was no way she could hit them both with her mace and left her wide open for a mid-air tackle.

    I felt the air whoosh out of her lungs as I tried to push us both towards the ground, but she wasn¡¯t making this easy for me. Even with the surprise grapple, Hawkie managed to bring her knee up hard and fast into my chest so that it loosened my grip on her. Which turned out to be enough that she was able to slip out of the hold entirely and use me as a springboard to keep flying while I was sent crashing into the pavement below.

    At the sound of another battle cry I looked up just in time to throw myself to the side as Hawkie¡¯s mace cratered into the ground where I just was. I flared my Ki to kill my momentum and fly straight back at her to deliver another punch to the face. This time it was a clean hit that sent Hawkie stumbling away, dazed but not out of the fight.

    I waited just long enough for the retaliatory swipe with the mace when she tried to guess my next attack¡¯s timing to miss before launching myself at her again, only to realize too late that she had predicted me predicting her and flew straight into a roundhouse kick.

    ¡°You¡¯re pretty good!¡± I complimented as I floated back off the pavement.

    ¡°And you¡¯re a pain in the ass.¡± Hawkie growled back.

    ¡°Aww, that¡¯s not nice. Aren¡¯t you having fun?¡±

    I don¡¯t think she wanted to admit she was enjoying this fight just as much as I was because she just leaped at me with another battlecry. She was somehow faster than I expected and caught me with a surprise uppercut before grabbing me by the front of my armor and spiking me into the ground.

    I wheezed a bit at the force of the impact.

    Once again Hawkie readied her mace to smash me further into the ground but she was too slow. A bright yellow Ki blast caught her right in the stomach and sent her smashing through a stone building¡¯s wall.

    Oops.

    Still, that wasn¡¯t enough to keep Hawkie down, even if she was looking a little rough at this point. She pulled herself out of the rubble and glared down at me looking fully prepared to keep the fight going. Something I was all for, but I was getting to the point that one of us would have to go down soon.

    Even if Hawkie was looking pretty banged up, I wasn¡¯t all that fresh either if I was being honest.

    I wasn¡¯t about to run away though. This was the first no holds fight I had gotten in that wasn¡¯t against someone that outclassed me hilariously. I was going to keep enjoying this as long as I could.

    Hawkie probably didn¡¯t feel the same way. I got the feeling she was looking for a way to take me out as quickly as possible going by how careful she was being right now.

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter, did you want to give up?¡± I taunted her with a wide smile.

    ¡°Don¡¯t flatter yourself, kid. I¡¯m just getting started.¡± She snarled, flying into the air and dive bombing me, mace cocked back.

    Since I knew she was skilled enough that I wasn¡¯t going to just avoid her I did something she wasn¡¯t expecting and jumped closer at the last second. Using the training I did with Batman I managed to stop her next swing before she really got it going. But just because I caught her by surprise, that didn¡¯t mean she wasn¡¯t quick enough to respond. Even as I caught her right arm her left was moving into position to block the attack she was sure was coming.

    Too bad for her that wasn¡¯t what I was after.

    Batman had spent a lot of time teaching me how to use leverage instead of strength to disarm someone. I used that training now to twist Hawkie¡¯s arm around until she was forced to drop it and then I kicked her away.

    This time when we separated, I was the one left holding the fancy metal mace and she was unarmed.

    ¡°Give that back!¡±

    I waved the weapon tauntingly at her. ¡°No way, it¡¯s my turn to play with it.¡±

    ¡°Grrrrrrr.¡±

    ¡°Alright. Ready for round two?¡±

    Hawkie took a stance while glaring at me. Even without her weapon she was going to keep fighting. Great! It would have been boring otherwise.

    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s keep going!¡±

 Chapter 11

    I smirked as I faced the bird woman down with her own weapon. But the longer I held it the more my expression slipped until I was basically scowling.

    I gave the mace a little shake but there was still nothing happening.

    I smacked it on the ground.

    Still nothing.

    I flipped it around in my hands searching for some kind of hidden button or something but I couldn¡¯t find anything.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Hawkgirl-woman finally asked.

    ¡°How do you make it do the lightning orb thing?¡±

    ¡°Why would I teach you how to use my own weapon against me?¡±

    Well that was no fun. Using a magic ¨C anti-magic? ¨C mace that covered itself in a lightning effect so it looked like a plasma ball was one thing. Using it normally was the same as hitting someone with a metal club.

    That was way less cool. I doubted I was going to figure it out on my own in the next couple seconds either.

    Oh well.

    ¡°I¡¯ll figure it out later then.¡± I responded to Hawkie and tossed the mace over my shoulder. She looked pretty pissed off that I just casually tossed it away like that but that didn¡¯t last long since I charged her soon after.

    She blocked the first punch with ease because I wasn¡¯t entirely sure if the durability thing was somehow because of the mace, but Hawkie was clearly superhuman in the ways that mattered. She was faster, more durable, and actually stronger than I was expecting.

    She was also a really good fighter too.

    The two of us traded punches, kicks, and holds as we tried to beat the other into submission and I wasn¡¯t afraid to admit she was much better than me. I was getting hit two or three times for every one I landed and only my smaller size and Ki assisted strength were letting me escape most of the holds.

    I really needed more technique training. I was already being forced to abandon the Tai Chi I was taught as Hawkie started throwing things at me I hadn¡¯t learned how to respond to, like what to do when your opponent smacks you in the head with their wings before uppercutting you in the chin.

    After that particular combo I decided to take the fight to the sky. I had better maneuverability to offset her experience and she couldn¡¯t pull off the weirder wing attacks anymore. Which was a good thing because my vision had gone kinda blurry from that last uppercut.

    Both of us were in pretty rough shape actually. I had several cuts bleeding freely and my armor was cracked in a few places. Hawkie was bleeding too and she was keeping her left arm further away from me. I think I might have broken something there.

    I needed to beat her soon though. I was starting to get to the point I would be running on fumes. I was having fun, but losing the fight because I ran out of energy just to keep it going was stupid.

    ¡°Running out of steam, kid? You can give up whenever you want.¡± Hawkie said, blatantly ignoring her own state.

    ¡°Kinda,¡± I replied honestly. ¡°But I¡¯m still gonna win.¡±

    ¡°Like hell you are¡­¡±

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    Hawkie flapped her wings and I braced for the incoming attack, only to get caught off guard when she flew right over me. A quick check made me realize this wasn¡¯t some mistake, she was going for the mace!

    ¡°Oh no you don¡¯t!¡±

    I took off after her and tried to scare her off with a few Ki blasts, but Hawkie dodged all of them until she managed to snag her fancy metal stick off the ground and deflect the last two. I gave up shooting at her then. All it was doing was tiring me out.

    Then Hawkie caught me in the shoulder with her mace.

    I cried out in pain as the spiked end shattered my armor there and sent me crashing back into the ground.

    Hawkgirl-woman must have figured that was her chance to end the fight because when I looked up I saw her descending fast, mace raised overhead, ready to crush me further.

    Time seemed to slow down as my adrenaline surged at the sight and I frantically thought of a way to win. In the end I realized there was no way I was getting out of the hit so I was determined to make it cost Hawkie.

    A weak Ki blast at her face was predictably swatted away, but that meant instead of a devastating hammer blow, Hawkie was forced to settle for a much weaker backhand to my ribs. Even that was more than enough to crack a few of them, but before she finished the attack I blasted her in the chest with the rest of my Ki.

    Both of us were sent skidding over the pavement as a result. And both of us were struggling to stand afterwards.

    I took a second to judge my remaining energy levels and was disappointed to find I barely had enough to get out of the city. I guess that meant the fight was over.

    ¡°We-well this was really fun,¡± I complimented my sparring partner, wincing a bit as talking made my ribs shift. ¡°But I¡¯m done for today. We¡¯ll call it a draw and pick this up some other time.¡±

    ¡°And¡­what makes you think¡­I¡¯m letting you leave?¡± Hawkgirl-woman was having an even harder time speaking. I think my last attack did some real damage.

    ¡°Well, neither one of us have the strength to keep fighting. And you don¡¯t look like you can follow me.¡± I pointed out.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t in shape¡­to run away either. The local officials shouldn¡¯t have much¡­trouble dealing with you now.¡±

    I grinned and fanned my fingers in front of my face.

    ¡°You know what I have to say to that? SOLAR FLARE!¡±

    The amount of cursing from both Hawkgirl-woman and the remaining humans in the area was hilarious. I could barely stop laughing the entire way out of the city even though my ribs were aching the whole time. That was annoying. I couldn¡¯t wait to get back to my cave so I could take a nap in the Attack Ball. Its medical functions kinda sucked compared to a healing pod, but it was better than nothing.

    -o-

    A couple days later I was still a mess of bruises but I was feeling much better than before.

    I didn¡¯t do much during those days other than lounge around the cave and sleep or look myself up on the internet.

    It was actually really interesting to see how people were reacting to my presence, especially as my self-proclaimed mission to take over the planet became more widespread.

    Initially there were a lot of calls for the government to step in and do something about me, but that set off a bunch of people that didn¡¯t like the idea of a government holding a child, even an alien child, in some prison or lab because of something I was ¡®ordered¡¯ to do.

    Then there was a whole movement to have one of the heroes step up and take me under their wing similar to how Batman was doing for Bird-brain, Flash was doing for Kid Flash, or Green Arrow was doing for Speedy. That then splintered into several sub arguments ranging from trying to decide who could even manage that given my strength to whether or not it was any better trusting someone in a mask to keep an eye on an impressionable young girl than the government.

    I did get a kick out of the flame war that erupted when someone suggested Hawkwoman ¨C which still didn¡¯t clear up if she was the secretly evil one for me ¨C take me under her wing(ha!) because she was at least willing and capable of putting me in my place when needed and pissed off a bunch of soccer moms who thought anything more than a timeout was child abuse.

    That did remind me that I needed to go talk with Batman about more training since while the Tai Chi forms were really useful when I knew I could apply them, I still wasn¡¯t able to use them for everything. I needed either more forms and practice or I needed another style to use.

    -o-

    Unfortunately for me, Batman wasn¡¯t around for training. So I was just wandering the city looking for something to do. Which turned out to be harder than expected because Gotham was kinda awful. Tourists weren¡¯t exactly rolling through so anything fun was meant for the locals, which meant things that were fun for corrupt business people or criminals. Or corrupt business people that were criminals.

    The point was, even after wandering around for a while I was still bored with nothing to do.

    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Some random guy called out and ran up to me. ¡°Hey kid. You¡¯re that alien that touched down in Metropolis, yeah? The one with the tail?¡± I wasn¡¯t too put out by him not fully recognising me. My armor was pretty beat up from my last fight so I was just wandering around in an oversized blue and gray hoodie I snagged off a clothesline somewhere. Actually considering no one else seemed to notice I had to give the guy a thumbs up for even making the connection.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m Califa. Why, did you want to fight?¡± The guy probably wasn¡¯t a hero considering Batman didn¡¯t let ones he didn¡¯t like hang out in his city and he didn¡¯t look like much, but he still might be a fun distraction¡­

    ¡°No, no, no. I¡¯m not a fighter.¡± ¡­or not. The man quickly waved his hands in denial. ¡°I¡¯m a recruiter. See, the bosses are always on the lookout for interesting fighters. It¡¯s up to guys like me to try bringing them in.¡±

    Oh? A place where fighters ended up? That sounded fun.

    ¡°So your boss thought I was really impressive and wanted to offer me a spot?!¡± I asked, excited.

    ¡°Well¡­no.¡± The man instantly shot down my enthusiasm. ¡°We just keep an eye out for anyone that looks like they could put up a fight and would be willing for a couple thousand in cash. I just happened to see you and thought you could use the money since Hawkwoman stopped your bank gig the other day.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I slumped down a bit. Guess I still wasn¡¯t a big enough villain for people to be coming after me specifically. ¡°Well, I guess it could be fun¡­¡±

    ¡°Fun, yeah. I¡¯m sure it¡¯ll be fun for someone.¡± The recruiter handed me a card with an address on it. ¡°Head to this place and tell them Carl sent you. And do me a favor and try and last a few rounds? I get paid on commission, ya¡¯know.¡±

    I watched the man walk off when something finally hit me.

    He said Hawkwoman stopped my bank robbery.

    In all the excitement of the fight I forgot to go back and pick up the money I took!

    Grrrrr, my bank robbery was totally messed up again!

 Chapter 12

    I wasn¡¯t really sure what to expect when I went to the address on the card, but a tiny sign next to a staircase leading underground squished between two other buildings wasn¡¯t it. There wasn¡¯t even a fancy door to set it apart, just the same metal bar door where the outside screen door would normally be and a dull red wooden one behind it.

    The inside wasn¡¯t any more impressive.

    Flat, undecorated, off-white walls that were barely lit by the one struggling light in the middle of the ceiling. A single beaten up wooden desk off to one side with one of those little bell things and an even more beaten up brown leather couch that looked one good shove from falling apart were the only furniture there.

    Seeing nothing better to do I walked up to the desk and dinged the bell.

    Nothing happened for a few seconds but then I heard a droning, crackly sound.

    ¡°People sending in kids now? Guess we¡¯re scraping the bottom of the barrel.¡± A voice drawled over a really low quality speaker. ¡°You know what this place is for, girl?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, some guy named Carl said I could fight people here?¡± I said looking around trying to spot the hidden camera the person must have been using.

    ¡°Carl, huh? You a meta, girl?¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m a Saiyan.¡±

    ¡°Not human, good enough.¡± The voice said disinterestedly. ¡°Whatever, head to the back and we¡¯ll have you evaluated for a weight class. Heads up though, if you¡¯re wearing a wire or something for the cops, the automated turrets will fire immediately.¡± The speaker cut off and a hidden door in the back wall slid open revealing a hidden hallway.

    Huh, this was actually kinda fancy wasn¡¯t it? Even despite the ratty exterior. Hopefully their fighters were good too.

    Down the hall was another room, this one completely empty besides one really tall muscled guy in cargo pants and a vest. I looked around for any hint on what was going on, but it was just a room.

    ¡°Meet Leatherneck,¡± The voice came back as a door shut behind me. ¡°He¡¯s the one we use to judge the fresh meat that comes in. He¡¯s a meta with unbreakable skin. All you have to do to get a pass to the arena is last two minutes against him. If he breaks your spine, don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll drop you off outside a hospital real quick like.¡±

    ¡°So just beat him up for two minutes then?¡± I asked out loud.

    ¡°Heh, don¡¯t get cocky, brat. I¡¯ve taken an RPG to the chest before and came out without a scratch.¡± Leatherneck laughed. ¡°And then I went on to feed the guy who shot me his own teeth for trying. Don¡¯t think being a kid is going to make me go easy on you either. I looove the sound of tiny bones breaking and I can¡¯t wait¨C¡±

    ¡°Hey, can I start already?¡± I interrupted. I wanted to get to the real fighters.

    ¡°Haah, well now you pissed him off.¡± The voice sighed. ¡°Go ahead. I¡¯ll send a cleanup crew in a few minutes.¡±

    ¡°Fucking brat! I''m going to take my time pulling you apart!¡± Leatherneck screamed and lunged at me.

    He was annoying so I put a bit more strength than I was planning into my punch.

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    I nailed him in the stomach and sure enough I didn¡¯t do any damage to his skin.

    ¡­I did do a bit more damage to everything else when I sent him smashing through what looked like a reinforced brick and then halfway through a metal wall on the other side.

    Oops.

    I waited a bit for the guy to get up, because while I hit him harder than I was planning, I didn¡¯t hit him THAT hard. But no matter how long I waited, Leatherneck didn¡¯t get up. Crap, I didn¡¯t kill him did I? No he was still breathing, so I should be good¡­

    ¡°Hey, did I win?¡± I called out to the voice.

    ¡°Y-yeah. You won.¡± The voice didn¡¯t sound bored anymore. Guess that means I impressed him! ¡°Congrats, I think you''re going to be a big hit in the Dome.¡±

    ¡°The Dome?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it''s where the real money is made. Specialty fights and stuff. Free-for-alls, team fights, king of the hill¡­stuff like that. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll have plenty of people shelling out bets for you.¡±

    ¡°Does that mean more fights?¡± I asked.

    ¡°As many as you want. Come back here tomorrow. I¡¯ll have someone take you to the Dome.¡±

    Cool! I was looking forward to this!

    -o-

    I was back the next day with still no clue what Batman was doing. Kinda frustrating cause I really wanted to know when I could train with him again. I had even done a quick fly-over last night and this morning looking for his ki signature but he wasn¡¯t home. But I was too excited about today to care much.

    I met a different man at the same recruiting spot that simply shoved me into a plain black car and started driving without a word even though I started peppering him with questions about where we were going, how strong were the fighters, and how many fights I could have in a day.

    He didn¡¯t answer me once.

    So we drove in near silence despite my attempts at conversation until he pulled into a service tunnel that once again led somewhere underground and parked the car.

    ¡°So I guess we¡¯re here?¡± I asked when the door opened. It didn¡¯t look like much. Some old underground facility they repurposed, I guess? There wasn¡¯t much to look at either. Just the tunnel we came through and a large door going inside. Though it did make sense, a probably-illegal underground fight club wouldn¡¯t exactly pick a public building or a place that screamed ¡®illegal things happening here¡¯. Hopefully it looked better on the inside.

    The driver still didn¡¯t say anything. Maybe he was mute?

    ¡°So do I just go in there?¡± I tried again.

    This time I did get an answer! The driver just nodded though, so my mute theory was going pretty strong.

    ¡°Okay then, thanks for the ride!¡±

    -o-

    Getting to the arena was pretty easy after that.

    Apparently the staff was expecting me, so I was guided through what passed for security ¨C mostly just making sure I wasn¡¯t being tracked or recorded ¨C and after a short wait I was pushed through a door into the arena itself.

    This was much more impressive than the front door.

    A large dome of some clear material separated the fighters from the crowd and there were thick metal doors that prevented anyone from just wandering onto the arena floor. The floor itself was big enough that special props could probably be added for events, and was lightly dusted with dirt to make cleanup easier.

    I couldn¡¯t actually see the crowd, the lighting in the back and the shadows around the place made them all look like black blobs, but I could hear them just fine. I could practically feel the floor vibrating from the noise they were making.

    ¡°Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another night of electrifying fights!¡± An announcer boomed even over the noise of the crowd. ¡°Tonight we have a particularly special event, but before that we have a new challenger to the Dome! She may look like a kid, but she¡¯s actually an alien conqueror, here to challenge the champions of Earth!¡± several boos came from the crowd, ¡±Let¡¯s give a proper Earth greeting to the Saiyan, Califa!¡± Was this a wrestling match? Did I need a catchphrase? No one ever mentioned needing a catchphrase! Anyway, the crowd exploded in cheers, boos, and curses.

    ¡±And as our own special welcome, we here at the Dome have decided to give her our own special greeting! The announcer continued once the noise died down a bit. ¡±If she wants to challenge all of Earth, let¡¯s give her a taste of what we have to offer¡­in an everyone versus one match, let¡¯s get ready for a Dogpile!¡± Once again the crowd lost their collective minds.

    The giant metal doors rose up enough that the other fighters could walk under them without issue.

    And there were a bunch of them. Easily somewhere around twenty.

    The cool thing was they all either were obviously metahumans, considering the animal traits on several of them, or had some kind of supertech. One guy was even in a full suit of armor and looked like he replaced his entire arm with an energy cannon. That was pretty neat.

    All of them were in some kind of costume too.

    I thought there would be more people in just normal clothes but then again even Leatherneck was in something like a costume and he was just a punching bag. It made me wish I had shown up in my spare set of armor instead of just wearing the undersuit. I felt a little underdressed!

    Well, only kinda.

    I did see several people not bothering with a shirt for some reason or another. Did they not get cold? One of them wasn¡¯t even wearing shoes! Just these weird little foot wrap things and karate pants. Although I guess if he wore a shirt he wouldn¡¯t be able to show off the snake tattoo on his chest. Still seemed dumb to me though¡­

    ¡±The rules are simple!¡± The announcer interrupted my musing. ¡±The round ends when one side can¡¯t fight anymore! Besides that, everything is fair game! Not only that, the last people standing will get to be included in our final special event. So brace yourselves, this is going to be bloody!¡±

    My opponents all fanned out and started posturing. Some were cracking knuckles, others were posing or playing with whatever weapon they brought, and some were charging energy attacks or guns. All while staring at me.

    A sharp smile split my face and my hair began to move from the breeze my rising Ki was producing.

    This was going to be fun.

    ¡±And here we go, people¡­3¡­2¡­1, begin!¡±

 Chapter 13

    It was almost painful holding myself back from charging straight into the mass of fighters in front of me and just cutting loose. But doing that would mean taking out the squishier, normal fighters before they could show off.

    Normally I''d be pretty fine with that but then I wouldn''t get to see how they dealt with a stronger, faster, flying opponent and steal it for myself. So I had to wait until the first few crossed the distance to actually take me on.

    The first to try attacking me were mostly variations of ''super-karate guy'' but several were just normal people for the most part.

    "And would you look at that, ladies and gentlemen! It seems like Califa is playing safe and waiting to see what comes her way, but will she be able to handle several masters of the martial arts?!"

    I found that out the hard way when I tried one of the blocks I had seen Batman use at one point. It was supposed to be a joint-lock, but I overshot and accidentally broke the guy''s elbow. Another actually lost a few teeth when I hit him pretty gently in the face.

    One guy was pretty similar to Leatherneck where he had some kind of durability power, but was way less skilled than the other guys. I guess he ran into the same issue I was where being hard to hurt made it hard to actually train against normal humans, so I ended up using him as a baseball bat for a bit until the guy with the laser cannon for an arm I noticed earlier decided to take a shot at me when he though my back was turned.

    My meatshield took the blast and a few others from some of the others hanging out in the back before the rest of the group started to jump in.

    "Looks like she can! Just look at that carnage! It seems just pure human skill isn''t enough to tackle the pint-sized conqueror from the stars, but that isn''t all she''s up against! She''s broken the likes of King Snake and Cobra, but they aren''t the only vipers in the arena tonight. How will she fare against a little¡­augmented humanity?!"

    And these were the guys I was looking forward to fighting! The ones that could actually put up a fight!

    A guy in a metallic snake costume ducked under my improvised shield/weapon and whipped me in the chest with his tail. I was sent flying but while the hit hurt it hadn''t really done any damage. No, that was reserved for the guy that looked like a giant pile of living scrap metal. That guy caught me midair and tried to shove me through the floor, and when that didn''t work he tried to punch me through it while the crowd cheered him on.

    Dust began to billow up from the sheer amount of hits and I guess the scrap-man was some kind of robot, because he wasn''t slowing down.

    My Ki surged as if finally managed to get a hand in place to catch one of his fists before it attempted to push me further into the small crater that had formed. The fist ground to a halt and the scrap-man grunted in surprise as a ki-blast caught him in the chest and blew him off of me.

    The surrounding fighters all took a step back when the dust was blown outward by another Ki spike, revealing me sporting a bloodstained grin.

    "And she''s up! A combo move from Copperhead and Girder looked like that was it for our new arrival, but it looks like not even that beating can keep her down for long!"

    And then cannon-arm guy shot me out of the air.

    I was getting real tired of that guy.

    Unfortunately, I didn''t have time to deal with him as several of the rest of the fighters all tried to jump me before I could recover from the energy blast. I lost track of time and details as I fully concentrated on the fighters surrounding me.

    I punched, kicked, ki-blasted, and in one case bit everyone that still looked like they wanted to keep fighting. Bones were broken, weapons were shattered, and blood was getting everywhere. Not always because of me either. Some of the fighters didn''t hesitate to risk friendly fire if it meant getting a hit on me, usually the ones using regular guns, but since they were taking my <s>punching bags, training dummies,</s> opponents out of the fight, I didn''t hesitate to hit them with a Ki ball and slag their equipment.

    The big guy made of scrap metal came back for another round, and I had fun trying out some of the new techniques I had seen some of the others use before they were taken out ¨C with mixed results because in some cases the size difference was a bit ridiculous.

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    "Califa is tearing through the Dogpile! Nothing our defending contestants do can put a stop to the tiny alien menace, but here comes Barrage with ano-"

    I finally had time to turn and face cannon-arm guy and send a Ki-blast at him before he got the shot off. The beam of bright yellow Ki slammed into the red beam of plasma and for a second I got my hopes up that I was going to get a beam struggle in the middle of this fight, but while I was fully eager to fight it out energy attack to energy attack, cannon-arm guy decided to duck and run the second it was clear his shot wasn''t overpowering mine.

    "-ther plasma blast. And Califa sends him running!"

    I wasn''t letting him get away this time though.

    I sent one of the few lingering fighters flying with a kick and dashed closer to the armored man. He tried swinging his arm cannon around to focus on me, but I caught it long before he lined up a shot. Then I squeezed down. Whatever metal his suit was made of buckled and warped under my grip as I crushed the barrel of his plasma gun. Something I followed up with a hard punch to the chest.

    With him taken care of, I took a second to look around the arena to see how many fighters were left. I was slightly disappointed that only two, the scrap-metal guy from earlier and a giant humanoid shark, were left standing.

    Both of them bellowed wordlessly and charged, and I charged them right back.

    Sharky tried to scratch me with the claws he had on the end of his fingers, but I ducked into a somersault handstand and kicked him in the face when he missed. Then, using his face as a springboard I launched myself at scrap-metal guy and landed on his chest.

    "Wha'' the¨C?"

    I ignored his disbelieving grunt and focused. This guy could take whatever I could dish out normally, so I was going to need something special to make sure he stayed down. Ki gathered in my fist as I drew it back. And then I punched him in the face. Then I did it again. And again and again and again. Until I felt something break.

    I wasn''t sure if it was something in my hand or the metal that made up his face but it didn''t matter because his eyes rolled up into his skull and he dropped.

    Okay, one lef¨C

    I didn''t even get to finish that thought as a seven foot tall sharkman tackled me off the other fighter and tried to bite me in half. Thankfully I was instinctually able to get a hand and foot in place to stop Sharky from biting down, even if it meant feeling teeth digging into my skin.

    "Hungry, are you?" I snapped and raised my free hand, Ki orb forming on my palm. "Well, chew on this!"

    I used the resulting explosion to fling myself clear of Sharky''s mouth and only looked back when I realized I might''ve accidentally taken his head off with that attack. I didn''t exactly check to see how durable he was.

    I didn''t have to worry though.

    Sharky waved a hand through the smoke revealing his mostly undamaged head, clearly still alive.

    "So you thought to take my teeth, you monkey?" Sharky growled as he spat several shards of broken teeth onto the arena floor. "A natural attempt for an inferior creature like you, but unfortunately my teeth cannot be broken so easily." Even as he spoke I could see new teeth pushing the old broken ones out of the way.

    "I really just wanted to get away from your bad breath." I shot back. "That was waaay worse than your teeth."

    "Insolent! Prepare yourself, when I get my hands on you I will tear your flesh from your bones!"

    So don''t let him get close then? Anyways it was time to end this, and I knew exactly how I was going to do it.

    Even if I was blatantly stealing someone else''s technique to do it.

    I cupped my hands together and focused my Ki.

    "KA¡­!"

    "Hmph, another energy blast? I was barely harmed by your previous one, better make it count, child. It will be the last one you ever do!"

    "ME¡­!"

    "King Shark charges Califa! After her last energy attack did no damage it seems King Shark is going for the kill!"

    "HA¡­ME¡­!"

    Bright cerulean blue Ki gathered in my hands as I dragged more to the surface and focused it. Sharky wasn''t the fastest person in the arena so my attack was ready with plenty of time to spare, but just to make sure I waited until he was right on top of me, one hand outstretched to claw me, before I thrusted my hands out right towards his chest.

    "HAAAAAAA!"

    This blast was nothing like my little Ki attacks. It practically swallowed Sharky''s huge body before blowing him up and away towards the top of the dome.

    I was sooo tempted to see how long I could keep my attack going ¨C it was the first time I pulled off a Kamehameha in a fight! How cool was that! ¨C but the ring owners probably wouldn''t let me come back if I broke their fancy dome, so I shut off the energy before I melted right through it.

    Sharky had actually made a perfect indent into the dome cover that was even more obvious when he fell away back onto the arena floor. A quick check confirmed he was still breathing, but definitely unconscious.

    I win!

    I threw my hands up in celebration, but was confused when I didn''t hear applause.

    "...I¡­uh, Ladies and Gentlemen, in a stunning final attack, Califa is the last remaining fighter. We have a winner for the Dogpile! Let''s hear it for our visiting alien invader!!"

    Oh, there was the applause. I did a quick victory lap around the arena waving at the crowd as I basked in my first actual victory since landing on Earth. I really needed to win more, this felt nice.

    After a while one of the staff members escorted me out of the arena into a waiting area and explained I was supposed to wait here for a few minutes while they cleaned up the arena for the next event. And since I was the winner I would be fighting in that one too.

    They even provided some light snacks!

    Barely an hour later I was back in the arena for the ''Special Event''. Which was fine because I was out of snacks and already looking forward to my next fight.

    Maybe this time it would be someone really strong that I could practice all the cool new things I saw in the Dogpile.

    "Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, it''s time for our grand Special Event! Two sides enter, one side leaves. In one corner we have the Alien Terror, the Conqueror from Outer Space, Califa!" I waved as the crowd exploded into cheers. "In the other corner the bane of crooks and criminals everywhere, the Dynamic Duo, The Dark Knight and Boy Wonder themselves, Batman and Robin!" My head snapped to the other entrance and sure enough, there was Batman and Bird Brain being shoved through the doorway with heavy metal manacles that covered their hands up to their elbows that only fell away once the door closed. "Once again the rules are simple, both sides fight until one side is dead and gets to walk away to fight another day. If neither side wins¡­" A metal hatch opened up to reveal an automatic turret. "Then it''s goodnight for everyone in the arena! ARE YOU READY FOR A DEATHBATTLE?!"

    I was barely listening to the announcer once he told me I was going to be fighting Batman. In a serious situation where he wasn''t going to be able to hold back or deflect the topic.

    This was going to be awesome!

 Growing Pains - Chapter 14

    The second the match started I couldn''t stop myself from bounding forward, eager to test out the new things I had just learned.

    I saw the hero and his annoying sidekick open their mouths to try talking ¨C probably trying to convince me to stop the fight ¨C but I had been trying to get Batman to take me seriously in training for forever! Yet, everytime I brought up more intensive training or sparring he deflected by saying I needed more practice with the basics before that.

    And while he wasn''t wrong, I figured he was more interested in keeping an eye on me than giving me new skills. But now he couldn''t stop me! And I got to beat up Bird Brain at the same time!

    But first¡­

    "Batman!" Bird Brain cried out when I jump kicked at his mentor''s head, missing by a slim margin. That didn''t stop me though and I instantly dashed back at him the second my foot hit the floor.

    Batman kept trying to avoid me and create distance, but I wasn''t going to let that happen!

    "And we''re off to an acrobatic opening!" I distantly heard the announcer shout. "Califa isn''t giving Batman room to breathe in a stunning display of martial arts, but he is countering her move for move! But since the Dark Knight isn''t a broken mess it looks like our little alien menace has decided she wants to play with her food!"

    I mean, he wasn''t wrong¡­

    If I wanted to just win then I would be blasting them from the air with Ki attacks. But where''s the fun in that?

    The first hint that I might have dismissed Robin a bit too much was three little pellets landing in between me and Batman just after I failed to get him into a joint lock. Then they exploded and I was choking on the thick smoke they spewed out while Batman slipped away.

    "H-hey! Stay out of this Bird Brain!" I coughed. "I''m fighting Batman first!"

    "Why are you fighting us at all, you stupid monkey?!" The brat yelled back.

    "We''re in a fighting ring, what else would we do here?!"

    "An illegal fight ring." Batman spoke up. "And we didn''t choose to be here."

    "So wait, that bit with the manacles wasn''t just so you could pretend you weren''t here on purpose?" I asked. "Did you really get caught by these guys? How?"

    Robin blushed bright red and averted his gaze. Naturally that meant I had a laser focus on him.

    "You messed up didn''t you." I stated.

    "I-I don''t know what you''re talking about."

    "Ha! You did~, hahaha" I was forced to hover midair from how hard I was laughing¨C

    *BANG!*

    ¨Conly to stop when a bullet impacted the ground by my feet.

    "A quick reminder that this is a Deathmatch." The announcer said threateningly. "No stopping halfway through for a chat."

    I stopped smiling.

    This random person was telling me how to fight? When he hadn''t even shown himself at all? I must have grown a sense of pride when I wasn''t looking because the thought of someone I could almost guarantee was weaker than me in every way that mattered ordering me around rubbed me in all kinds of wrong ways.

    I silently pointed a hand at the turret that had shot at me and vaporized it with a bright yellow Ki blast.

    "Don''t tell me what to do." I said darkly.

    Then I turned back to Batman and Robin, who were both looking much more on edge than before. Well, at least it looked like they were going to take this seriously now.

    "He''s not entirely wrong though. We can talk later¡­ for now I''m going to have fun with this!"

    This time I charged Robin with a sharp grin on my face.

    To the kid''s credit, he didn''t freeze up or anything like that. Instead he somersaulted over my head by using my shoulder as a springboard and tried kicking at my back. Too bad it was a move he used against me a lot in our occasional spar so I was ready to turn and catch his foot on my forearm before punching him in the jaw.

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    I wasn''t ready for Batman to take advantage of the opening to punt me like a football, though!

    "So that''s the way you ¨C eep!"

    Batman didn''t settle for just a single kick. I looked up just in time for a batarang to fly by, narrowly missing hitting me in the face followed by several more that I had to throw myself to the side to avoid and incidentally interrupting my attempts at mid fight banter.

    I ignored the tiny boomerang things hitting the arena wall and exploding and focused on my two opponents. I saw Robin nod at something Batman said and both of them splitting up so we all formed a rough triangle.

    Then I was stuck dodging as the two started throwing all kinds of things at me.

    Explosive discs, smoke bombs, taser things, and a few more. I wasn''t going to touch them after I tried catching a taser batarang with the intent on throwing it back, only for it to go off immediately.

    My hand was still tingly.

    "A-and we''re back in the ac-action folks! Our crime-fighting duo is keeping Califa at bay with an impressive amount of projectiles. But try as they might, the tiny alien terror is simply too slippery to get hit! But that might not be enough to take her out, she hasn''t gotten serious yet!"

    I ignored the announcer again since it was clear he had no idea what Batman had planned.

    All of Robin''s throws were aimed to distract or disorient me. They made noise, kicked up dirt and sand, and made smoke, sure. But the biggest thing they did was conceal where Batman''s throws were coming from. Those were always thrown so I would have to dodge out of the way and were thrown hard enough that they usually didn''t stop until they hit the arena walls.

    I was cheating with Ki sense, something I was pretty sure Batman didn''t know about, to keep an eye on where the two were ¨C and it was needed after a few seconds when nearly the entire arena was covered in smoke ¨C but his projectiles didn''t have Ki in them. I needed to use my other senses to avoid those.

    It was difficult, stressful, and incredibly frustrating trying to keep an eye on two people with one sense and as many as seven small flying objects with the rest.

    And I was having a blast with it!

    Here I was, an alien from space with powers far beyond a normal human and in a wide open room, and Batman had still managed to change the environment around to suit him and give me a hard time! Sure I wasn''t using most of those powers, but I had already determined this was going to be a test of skill not strength.

    Speaking of Batman, he must have run out of things to throw at me because I could sense him getting closer.

    I turned to face him right as he burst through the smoke and went low, trying to kick his legs out from under him. He jumped over it in a move so smooth I would have sworn it was practiced if I didn''t know better. My own dodge when he punched straight down was jerky and uncoordinated in comparison.

    You would think punching the ground as hard as you could would make a human pause for a bit, but Batman was shifting into a different stance the second he made contact. I dodged, weaved, and counterattacked as best I could while forcing myself to react at human limits. Why couldn''t this be how we normally trained?!

    "Because you still need to brush up on the basics." Batman said, making me realize I said that last bit out loud.

    Then he took advantage of me overcommitting to a punch to throw me over his shoulder and into the floor. Hard.

    I wheezed a bit as the air was forcefully driven from my lungs and rolled when Batman went to smash my diaphragm. Only to fall into a trap when it turned out to be a feint and he caught me by the wrist and put me in an armbar.

    "You know I could break out of this right?" I grunted as I allowed my arm to be forced into a rather uncomfortable position.

    "You''ll lose your game if you do." He replied.

    I tsk''d. Figures he would have realized what I was doing by now.

    "So what now? I might not be able to win right now but you''ll probably get tired before I do, and I don''t think our friends are going to be happy if one of us just gives up, ya''know?"

    Batman sighed in defeat. "What do you want?"

    "More sparring matches like this one! And you aren''t allowed to hold back anymore!"

    "I haven''t been holding back. You really do need that much practice with the basics before I could teach you more."

    "Yeah, but you could at least mix things up now and again."

    Batman didn''t sigh again, but I had a feeling he wanted to.

    "Deal."

    "Cool!" I chirped with a wide smile. And with that I was released. "So what now?"

    -o-

    By now the entirety of the arena was just a mass of smoke. The organizers definitely hadn''t thought about someone using so many smoke bombs that it could cover the entire floor so there were no countermeasures for it. Something the crowd was starting to get annoyed by.

    They had come to see a fight. Not just stare at some smoke for several minutes!

    Before too many of them could start making a fuss, a massive yellow beam tore through the smoke and a nearby wall.

    Then, even more of it started getting pushed away as I flared my Ki higher and higher.

    "And it looks like this might be the beginning of the end, Ladies and Gentlemen! Califa has apparently decided to stop playing around and has cleared the smokescreen with one attack!

    But what''s this? Our Boy Wonder doesn''t seem to be in the ring anymore! It looks like the Dynamic Duo is down a member! Was he caught up in that last blast?!"

    The grumbles were replaced with cheers as the crowd''s bloodlust peaked.

    I rose a bit further into the air and attempted to speak, but couldn''t get anything out over the noise.

    That was¡­pretty impressive actually.

    I just hovered in place, arms crossed, tapping a finger while I waited for the noise to die down.

    Once it finally did, I raised my hand and pointed down at Batman dramatically. "Everyone, listen up!" That killed the last of the noise. "I have just one thing to say before I end this!"

    "As the future conqueror of Earth, I judge Batman as a worthy champion I must defeat! A Champion of Skill! But¡­!"

    The crowd seemed to lean in, waiting for what I was going to say next.

    "...I can''t do that yet. So I give up!"

    There was a beat of silence, and then the crowd erupted in rage at being denied their entertainment. Too bad for them I didn''t really care.

    "Well, that was certainly a surprise. In a shocking turn of events Califa has forfeited the match! But don''t worry folks, we promised you a deathmatch so that''s what you''re going to get! Unleash the turrets!"

    At the announcer''s command there were a bunch of mechanical groans as the turrets he mentioned tried to deploy. But it turned out Batman had already beaten him there. While I had assumed he had been using the earlier smokescreen to attack me by surprise, it had really been so that he could disable the turrets around the arena without anyone noticing.

    Of course there were a handful that he missed, but it was easy enough for me to blast them with a Ki attack before they could really get going.

    "Ah, ahem, nothing to worry about, folks. We have contingencies for just such an occas¨C *BAM!* ¨C w-wait! What are you doing in here!?"

    There were a few sounds of a struggle over the system before Robin''s smug voice rang out.

    "And that''s one hack of an announcer taken care of! With that taken care of, it''s a total victory for the heroes! I hope you all enjoyed the show, ladies and gentlemen. Please feel free to give us a review while we wait for the police to help you on your way out. Thank you and have a nice day."

    By then even the dumbest in the crowd had realized the fight club had lost control of the situation and started running for the exit, but it was no use as several security gates slammed closed at the exits.

    Not the best ending to my first fight arena, but I still had fun. I''d have to check back with the recruiter guy to see if they had a branch that wasn''t dumb enough to kidnap Batman and see if they were looking for new fighters later.

    -o-

    "So how''d you get caught anyway?" I asked as Batman and Robin waited for the last of the fight ring organizers to get carted away.

    "We were investigating a few disappearances and stumbled across a recruiting center." Batman said simply, opting to just leave it there.

    "And I tried to stop the recruiter from escaping out the back."Robin rubbed the back of his head and sheepishly added. "There was a gas trap we didn''t see."

    I just stared at him.

    That was it?

    "Wow, that''s so lame."

    "Yeah, well what about you? Did you just follow the first stranger offering you a fight, you muscle-brained monkey?" Robin snapped. Then when I didn''t reply, he smirked. "You totally did, didn''t you!"

    "Shut up, Bird Brain! I was looking for someone else to train me while Batman was busy!"

    "That doesn''t make it any better." he laughed.

    I wasn''t about to take that lying down and tackled him to the ground where we both tried to wrestle the other into submission.

    I was so focused on delivering sweet justice to the bird brained idiot that I didn''t notice Batman shake his head and walk off with a small smile on his face.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 15

    "You know there are easier ways to get my attention, right?"

    "Yeah, but this is the most fun!" I smiled as I adjusted the weight of the car so it wasn''t slipping off my shoulder anymore.

    The Flash wasn''t as amused as I was. Or at least he was pretending to not be.

    It was bad form for a superhero to laugh at the police chief when his car was stolen by a passing supervillain and held hostage twenty feet off the ground, not when the guy was right there. Especially since this was the fifth time I''ve done something like this.

    Flash hadn''t exactly been thrilled to find out he had been training a supervillain instead of the aspiring hero he had assumed I was, but after a week of needling him I managed to work out a similar deal to the one I had with Batman. I wouldn''t do major crimes in Central City in return for continued speed training.

    He tried avoiding me a bit and relying on our agreement to keep me from doing something too noticeable.

    So I went to someone that would complain loud enough that Flash would need to check in even if I wasn''t doing anything super evil.

    And the police chief could certainly yell. Especially when his 1965 Mustang kept mysteriously finding itself in places a car couldn''t get to¡­like a roof or a tree. Luckily for him there was a helpful alien invader that would be happy to get it down, as long as he could get the Flash here for a bit.

    Flash told me I could stop after the third time. I kept doing it because it was funny.

    "That is not the way to treat a classic." Flash shook his head in mock despair. "Come on, give the Chief back his car. I know what you want."

    "Sure thing!"

    I dropped the car back in a parking lot and ignored the Police Chief as he rushed to inspect the thing for damage. Seriously, it was a car. An old one sure, but older doesn''t always mean better!

    And there was certainly no reason to cry about it¡­

    "Normal spot then?" Flash asked, doing some light stretches with a challenging smile.

    "You''re on."

    After a silent three count, both of us went speeding towards the city limits.

    Needless to say Flash beat me by a few miles.

    -o-

    Two hours later I was laying on the ground, drenched in sweat and panting like a dog. All I could do was glare at Flash who, despite everything I tried, was barely sweating at all. And I couldn''t even be sure that wasn''t from just standing around in the sun for a few hours.

    "Hey, don''t give me that look. You''re doing much better than when we started." He said genuinely. And if he stopped there you could mistake him for being a kind, caring individual. "Who knows? In a year or so, you might get me to break into a light jog!"

    Yep, there it was.

    Jerk!

    "Oh come on, is that any way to treat your favorite training partner?" Flash continued when I glared harder.

    "You aren''t my favorite. Hawkie''s my favorite, it''s just that it''s really hard to find her before she moves cities or she has her partner with her. And I can''t fight both of them at once yet."

    "Oooph, scathing." Flash mimed grabbing his chest in pain. "Well, anyway, I''ve gotta run. I''ve got a date in a few minutes. Wouldn''t want to be late."

    "Is a few minutes enough time to get there and be ready?"

    "Sure it is, I''m the fastest man alive!" He said confidently.

    "Oh, I feel bad for your date then."

    "Yea¨C wait, what do you mean by that?!"

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    "Nothing," I said ''innocently'', "just that it''s a shame if all your dates end too soon because you go too fast."

    Flash narrowed his eyes at me and tried to guess if I was implying what he thought I was, unfortunately for him I was used to trying to hide my thoughts and reactions from Batman (not that it seemed to make a difference) and Flash was certainly not Batman.

    Eventually he gave up his one sided staring contest and turned towards the city.

    "Right. Well, stay out of trouble. Don''t go trying to take over a city or something."

    Hah! I wasn''t about to tell him that was my next idea on how to force Superman to fight me. The Metropolis mayoral election was next week, I was totally going to crash it and declare myself mayor.

    Flash gave me a two fingered salute and began to run back to get ready for his date.

    He made it all of three steps when there was a massive flash of light behind us.

    We both turned to see what looked like a dozen flaming meteors burning through the atmosphere trailing dark black smoke. It didn''t take long for me to realize these weren''t normal meteors.

    Those didn''t tend to change direction midair and scatter in several directions.

    "Huh, looks like another alien invasion." I idly commented, causing Flash to slump over.

    "I''m not going to be on time for my date, am I?" He asked rhetorically.

    -o-

    From what I gathered on the internet, the last three alien invasions used the same plan that went something along the lines of this:

    Step 1: Invade in one big group.

    Step 2: Use landing location as a beachhead to attack nearby city. Or for the more aggressive ones, just attack city directly

    Step 3: Quickly overrun the population and military forces until nearby hero (or Superman) shows up.

    Step 4: Send out Champion(s) that are the pinnacle exception in strength compared to the rest of the invasion force.

    Step 5: Lose.

    Step 6: Pull back all forces and flee because without Champion(s) X, the invasion force is too small to actually hold the planet and the foot soldiers like living or because the Champion was the invasion force.

    And (Optional) Step 7: Leave Champion(s) behind to act as infiltrators/scouts for when the next invasion occurs.

    And considering that these invasions were usually wrapped up in less than a day, a lot of people didn''t bother panicking unless they were right near the initial invasion point since everything would go back to normal by tomorrow.

    So when the black smoke being trailed by the meteors turned into oily black clouds that covered the entire sky and showed no signs of dissipating almost a day later, people started to worry. They began outright panicking when it turned out that the invasion force was actually the second wave and that several people in the military, government, and science facilities had been replaced by shape shifting aliens that had sabotaged local responses and revealed more machines that were pumping the air with black stuff all over the continent.

    The following armies of white gray and black, gelatinous, homicidal goo-people with laser rifles didn''t do much to calm them down either.

    Fortunately for the humans ¨C and unfortunately for me ¨C the aliens themselves weren''t so tough that a person with a gun couldn''t at least hold them off for a bit. So it wasn''t like the invaders were just rolling over any resistance just yet, but there were a lot of them and they weren''t even fun to fight.

    "Get off this planet!" I yelled as I vaporized another squad of goo-people. "I was here first! I called dibs!"

    I''d have said that I''d lost count of how many of the invaders I had done that to by now, but that would imply I was keeping count to begin with. I was far more interested in stopping them from blowing up my favorite restaurants than counting blown up aliens.

    Central was the only city I''d found so far that had decent serving sizes and didn''t try calling the police whenever I just wanted something to eat. I wasn''t going to let some random invasion force me to go hunting for decent food again!

    I spotted another group going down Fifth St, shooting at people as they ran away and wrecking buildings thanks to some kind of armored vehicle that looked like a misshapen potato attached to four spider legs that also shot lasers.

    I flew over to it, blasted three of the legs off, caught it by the remaining one, and started using it as a giant hammer to squish the smaller foot soldiers running around in panic. Then when there was only one remaining, I swooped down and grabbed it by its¡­skin? Eww¡­and lifted it into the air.

    "Alright slimeball, listen up. I was having a good day until you jerks decided to show up. So, I''m going to give you one chance to tell me where your leader is so I can politely tell them to turn around and get off this planet before I vaporize all of you. Sound good?"

    The alien made a weird repetitive hissing sound that I eventually recognized as an attempt at laughter. "We ArE tHE iMpEriUm. We WiLL conQuEr thiS paThEtIC PlANet AND feED On it. YoU hUMANs CannOt sTOP THIS. EVen yOuR PoweR wiLl jUst make us STrONgeR."

    "Sorry, not a human. I''m a Saiyan. Got the tail and everything." I said, waving said appendage behind me.

    I then got to witness the fascinating experience of something going absolutely statue still for a moment, before frantically doing its best to claw my hand off it''s skin and when that didn''t work, claw away at itself in order to escape.

    The whole sudden spectacle shocked me enough that I just floated in stunned disbelief even after the goo-person managed to free itself only to fall several hundred feet back to the ground where it splattered on impact.

    "What the hell was that about?"

    Unfortunately for me, the universe didn''t suddenly leap to answer my question. But that didn''t mean the invasion had stopped just because something weird happened to me. A nearby explosion drew my attention to another one of those walking potato tanks and more foot soldiers.

    ¡­welp, guess the only thing left to do is find another alien to explain what the heck just happened. And if that one didn''t give me an answer? Well, there were plenty more of them wandering around.

    -o-

    Hours later I was tired, hungry, and absolutely covered in soot from all the fires popping up all over the city. Not to mention I was starting to get really pissed off that I wasn''t any closer to finding out why the invaders were freaking out about a single Saiyan child on the planet they were attacking. Did Saiyans actually exist in this universe? And if so why am I what''s causing them to panic rather than the yellow sun-charged Kryptonian that should be a much bigger threat?

    Sure a group of Saiyans would absolutely demolish these Imperium guys, but it was only me here.

    My musing was interrupted by a red blur streaking by and doubling back that predictably turned out to be the Flash. He looked a bit scuffed up and more tired than I had ever seen him ¨C not that that said much ¨C but he also looked pretty happy to see me, so I guess he was fine.

    "Hey Kid, glad to see you''re okay." Flash said quickly. "And I heard you were doing a pretty good job taking care of the city, a lot of people were talking about it!"

    I scowled. I wasn''t exactly doing that for the people here. But if they were grateful I better get a few free meals, at least!

    "Cool, great to hear. I''m guessing the heroes won and now it''s just dealing with the leftovers?" If so I was going to be bummed. Despite the amount of destruction they caused, the Imperium was kinda weak. I was hoping for one good fight at least.

    "...yeah, about that¡­" Flash rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

    -o-

    Minutes later I was standing in the middle of an American Army base and surrounded by several heroes including Superman, Hawkie, and Wonder Woman who I actually hadn''t been able to meet before now. Normally, I''d be ecstatic about that, but I was currently too busy glaring daggers at the green skinned man in a blue cape.

    "I''m sorry, I don''t think I heard you right. Run that by me again?" I grit out.

    Martian Manhunter didn''t have any hair, so it looked a little weird when he raised an eye-ridge at me.

    "As I said before, the Imperium plan to terraform this planet into a feeding ground¨C"

    "I don''t mean that!" I angrily swiped a hand through the air. "I meant, what do you mean you left Batman behind?!"

    I could feel a bunch of looks from the other heroes but I ignored all of them. Or at least I was going to until Superman put a hand on my shoulder and I began to debate if it was worth hitting him with a full power Kamehameha.

    "Look Califa, I know it''s hard to hear. He was my friend too. But these things happen and sometimes there''s nothing you can do."

    "Batman''s gone¡­"

 Growing Pains - Chapter 16

    "Batman''s gone¡­"

    I knew the words were wrong. I knew Batman wouldn''t just get quietly taken out from something like the Imperium. He was probably hiding out somewhere in one of his thousands of bolt-holes sciencing up some gizmo that would be crucial to removing the goo-people from the planet, just waiting for the right time to make his reappearance.

    The problem was, as much as I knew that¡­I couldn''t prove it.

    While I had never specifically told anyone about my Ki sense, Batman had picked up that I had some way of sensing where people were. He probably figured out it had something to do with Ki from my attempts to teach him and Robin how to use the stuff, and while he never actually managed to use Ki techniques, he was able to reduce his presence to the point I couldn''t find him unless he wanted me to in like a week.

    That was coming back to bite me because unless I got close and he wasn''t attempting to hide, I''d never be able to pick out his specific Ki signature from everyone in my range.

    Of course, just telling everyone he was still alive because he was Batman only got me some pitying looks and more attempts at consolation.

    Looking like a child despite being a kickass Saiyan warrior did have its occasional downsides.

    "Batman''s gone¡­"

    But worst of all was that tiny niggling voice in the back of my head. The one that kept treacherously asking, ''But what if they''re right?''

    I did my best to ignore that one.

    "Do you mind if I sit down?" A voice interrupted my spiraling thoughts. I looked up to see Wonder Woman standing there with two trays of food.

    I did my best to avoid making a face. MRE''s weren''t the horror stories I had heard of¡­but they still weren''t great.

    "Sure, go ahead." I motioned to an empty spot on the bench next to me before going back to looking out into the distance. Although, not going to lie, when everything is being covered up by nasty black clouds, looking out into the horizon loses a lot of its appeal.

    I accepted one of the trays as it had been meant for me and dug in. Bleeh, overcooked noodles in a watery tomato sauce.

    "So why did you want to sit by me?" I asked as I took another bite of food. "Shouldn''t you still be busy planning how to deal with the whole invasion thing?"

    Wonder Woman bit into her own food and I could tell she didn''t find it much better than I did.

    "We''re taking a small break for now. The others are checking in on friends or family, or doing as I am and taking some time for a meal." She said after a small pause. "Flash actually suggested I stop by since he needed to check in on his protog¨¦."

    Oh yeah, Kid Flash.

    I hadn''t actually met him in person yet, since most of my activities tended to happen in the middle of the week when he would still be in school but I had at least heard he existed during the aftermath of my first fight with Hawkie.

    Guess it made sense Flash would want to check in on him.

    I wonder if anyone was going to check on Robin and if he had heard abou¨C nope! Not thinking about that!

    "Okay, why though?"

    "He thought it might be easier to talk about the loss of someone close to you with someone of the same gender."

    I glared at her. "He isn''t dead."

    To my surprise, Wonder Woman didn''t immediately just try to get me to accept otherwise. Instead she just nodded at my words. "But that doesn''t change the fact that he isn''t here right now, does it?" I scowled, but she had a point. "So what do you plan on doing next?"

    "Not going to tell me what I should be doing?" I couldn''t help but ask.

    "Would you listen if I did?" Wonder Woman shook her head. "I know better than to tell a warrior what to do when they''ve committed themselves to a certain path, even one as young as you. You already know what you are going to do."

    Huh, she could read me pretty well. That was a surprise.

    "Yeah, I''m going to go back to the base the others escaped from and I''m going to go find Batman."

    "And if there''s no one left for you to find?"

    My eyes hardened as I looked back out to the horizon where I could sense one of the Imperium''s bases.

    "Then I reduce the rest of the invasion force to ash and make them wish they had never stepped foot on this planet." I declared resolutely.

    Wonder Woman looked sad when I said that but didn''t say anything against it. She just collected the now empty trays, ruffled my hair, and went back inside the army base. I followed not long after because the MRE was an okay snack, but I was still hungry. Maybe the cafeteria had something better?

    -o-

    It didn''t, as it turned out.

    More food, certainly. Better? Nah.

    But leaving the cafeteria with a full stomach and maybe slightly traumatized kitchen staff, I was politely escorted to a meeting room where all the heroes were going over their plan of attack.

    When I asked why, I was simply told that if they couldn''t stop me from attacking the Imperium, they could at least be there to support me.

    Which is how I found myself being bored to near tears as the Martian Manhunter droned on and on and on. Yeah, it was soothing at first. But after a while soothing shifts into boring! Especially when the speaker doesn''t emphasize anything and monologues in the same dull tone. Even the black Green Lantern guy looked like he was having trouble staying awake!

    "...located in the main structure. This room has an advanced crystal that is responsible for creating the ionized gas terraforming the planet to suit the Imperium''s needs." Oh sweet Oozaru, he''s still talking! "Should the crystal be destroyed, the Imperium will be limited to operating at night. This will be to our advantage as while they are psychically nearly on par with martians, they cannot stand direct sunlight for more than a few seconds at most. This is how my people were able to stall their advance for centuries."

    "Could we destroy the it with a bombing run or artillery strike?" One of the army people asked.

    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    "No, there is a shield surrounding the structure that your weapons will not be able to penetrate. We will need to approach from the ground and make our way into the structure from there."

    I bet I could break it.

    "Then we will continue focusing on surrounding the structure and supporting the strike team." Someone whose name I forgot but remembered being introduced as a general spoke up, looking at the six heroes surrounding the table in turn.

    I didn''t mind not being included in the count. I wasn''t a hero after all, and now that there was a plan in place I could go back to doing my own thing.

    "And where do you think you''re going?" Hawkie called out when I tried slipping out of the room while they were talking.

    I turned back to her glaring at me like, well, a hawk.

    "Nowhere special, I''m just going to go poke at the Imperium. You got your plan right? So I don''t have to hang around anymore."

    "It would be better if we waited." Manhunter said. "That will allow the sun more time to rise."

    "But the clouds will take some time to go away, right? So why not get the cloud machine out of the way now?"

    All the heroes gave each other a few looks before nodding. Looks like they agreed.

    -o-

    I glared at the lumpy black gray and red structure in the distance as once again my Ki sense showed no signs of Batman being in the area.

    But I already knew that didn''t mean much.

    I was vaguely aware of the heroes splitting off in random directions. Each of them splitting up so they could distract the Imperium guarding the structure and find a way inside. All except for Wonder Woman who decided to stand next to me for some reason.

    "Shouldn''t you be going to help them?" I couldn''t help but ask.

    "I will soon," She said assuringly. "But I wanted to see what you would do. According to the others, you have great strength yourself. Perhaps I wanted to see it in action for myself."

    I shrugged.

    I would have thought an Amazon warrior princess would have wanted to be at the front of the assault, but if she wanted to see me put on a show I wasn''t going to stop her.

    "Suit yourself. Though you might want to move to the side a bit." I warned her.

    "Oh? Why is that?" Wonder Woman asked, even as she took a few steps away.

    I planted my feet and cupped my hands at my side. "Because I''m going to go right through their front door¡­.KAAAMEEEEEE¡­."

    I paid no attention to the humans that were suddenly startled by the ball of blue Ki forming in my hands. Instead, I focused on dredging up every scrap of energy I could and focusing it into one point.

    ".....HAAAAAMEEEEEEE¡­"

    Unlike the time I had done this in the arena, there was no real rush to fire my technique. There was no one rushing to stop me, no one forcing me to hurry up. Just me, a glowing ball of weaponized life energy, and a target¡­.

    And that target was about to disappear.

    "....HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

    A four foot thick beam of cerulean light lit up the area and launched towards the Imperium structure. Thanks to the invaders building on top of a rocky mountainous area there was nothing in between them and my attack that I needed to worry about.

    Nothing beyond the shield Manhunter warned us about. Too bad for them it held for all of half a second before the beam attack tore right through it and into the structure it was protecting.

    I kept the kamehameha going as long as I could until I sensed it punching out the back of the structure before I stopped pouring in Ki and let the attack sputter out.

    "Hah¡­hah¡­ha¡­"

    For several seconds the only sound was my panting breaths. Everyone was just standing still, looking at either me or the hole I put in the Imperium base.

    Man, that took a lot out of me!

    "...Great Hera¡­" Wonder Woman breathed eventually.

    But there was no time for everyone to stand around basking in how awesome I was. The heroes were all converging on the hole I blew open! If I didn''t hurry they would beat the alien leader before I could do it myself!

    I kicked off the ground and started floating towards the alien structure.

    "Okay, last one there is a bald tail!" I shouted back to the still stunned humans, making up a suitably insulting Saiyan saying ¨C Sai-ing? ¨C on the spot and then racing ahead.

    -o-

    The past several solar cycles had not been particularly pleasant for J''onn J''onzz.

    It had started with the Imperium finally breaching the quarantine his people had maintained for centuries. A large group of them smashing through the defenses and making their way towards their neighboring planet, Earth.

    When it became clear that the various Martian governments were not going to immediately send aid, too busy debating the worth of such an action and how to go about it, J''onn had decided to use his own authority as a Manhunter to pursue them.

    Even if Humanity hadn''t been judged ready to join the rest of the interstellar community, Mars could not afford to allow the Imperium to flourish by consuming the Earthlings only to return to continue their assault on his people later. Especially due to their own isolationist habits keeping them from making allies willing to assist them in combating the parasites.

    Of course, it was thanks to those isolationist tendencies that led to him being surprised just how much contact the younger civilization had been exposed to in such a short amount of time. Humanity was very aware they weren''t alone in the galaxy and had several other species revealing themselves all over the planet. A few Thanagarians, a Kryptonian, and some others he was passingly familiar with. Even a few races he had not heard of before such as the newest arrival, a Saiyan.

    They even somehow had three active Green Lanterns.

    J''onn had been hopeful that the presence of so many defenders would lead to a swift defeat of the Imperium. He had not anticipated that the parasites had already infiltrated the Earthlings and sabotaged any coordinated defense. Thanks to that, and the Human''s tribal nature, Earth was doing its best to repel the attackers. But the response was disorganized. Scattered.

    That was why he had called out to several of the ''Heroes'' and crafted a plan to strike at the most vulnerable point of the Imperium. The source of the putrid smoke that protected them from the light and allowed them to thrive outside their subterranean dwellings.

    He could honestly say he had not counted on the Saiyan girl nearly revealing his trump card ahead of schedule¡­or her pushing the schedule forward by vaporizing a significant portion of the Imperium''s defenses with a single energy attack¡­but if there was one word that could be ascribed to Martians, it was that they were adaptable.

    He led the Superman, the Flash, the Hawkwoman, and a Green Lantern through the remaining hallways towards the central chamber, using strength, shapeshifting, and psychic feedback caused by phasing through others to incapacitate as many of the Imperium soldiers as possible while still moving forward.

    It was a careful dance, trying to advance while not overextending and allowing themselves to be overwhelmed once again like they had in their initial assault.

    But with only one previous confrontation working together, the comrades he had gathered were showing a remarkable improvement in teamwork and cooperation. Gone were many of the little hesitations, the accidental interference, and independent actions. And as such, the five of them ran over the opposition like a carefully directed rockslide.

    Which only became more effective when the Wonder Woman burst through a wall and assisted in destroying a couple Walkers keeping them from their goal.

    The Imperium fell before their combined might and soon J''onn stood not only within feet of the Ionization crystal that was the target of this assault, but also before the Supreme Leader of the Imperium, the purple and black ball of flesh invoking revulsion in the Manhunter.

    "J''oNn J''oNzZ, iT has BeEn A lONg tIME." The Leader projected telepathically. "we SHoUld HaVe KNOWn you WoUlD FOllOw Us tO tHis wORlD. You hAve STubbOrnly defIEd us fOR CEnTuRies."

    "And I will continue to defy you and any of your kind. You will never be welcome in this solar system." J''onn replied, preparing himself for the confrontation as he felt the beginnings of a mental attack from the bulbous creature before him.

    "You cANnot SToP Us. evEn AGAinst ONE OF thE GreAT DESTrOYErs, tHE IMPeRiuM WIlL PReVAIl!" A mental spike briefly dazed J''onn even as the creature''s tendrils reached out to grab him. At the same time hundreds of Imperium soldiers rushed in from the few undamaged passageways and engaged the rest of his comrades, preventing them from coming to J''onn''s assistance.

    No matter, J''onn was fully prepared to wrestle with the parasite himself. He just had to hold on until¡­

    "yOu''RE hIdinG soMEthIng." The parasite accused, mental tendrils scraping at the walls of his mind as physical ones tried ravaging his flesh. "a SeCREt DEeP IN thE rEcesSes OF yOUr MINd. iS tHIS AnoTheR OF yOuR MartIaN tRicKS?!"

    "Do I sense fear?"

    The Leader focused all of its attention on J''onn, trying to breach his defenses. "WhAT. arE. yOu. hidinG?" Just according to plan.

    "NOW!" J''onn roared over the sound of combat. The presence of the human he had mentally shielded from everyone had finally managed to get into position, unnoticed by everyone and everything in the room.

    An explosion destroyed the protective casing of the Ionic Crystal allowing the Batman access to place the necessary device onto the crystal itself.

    Red lines faded to blue as the technology took effect.

    "WHAt hAve YOU dOne?!" The parasite screeched in dismay as the blue coloration began to spread through the structure.

    "Reversed the ion charge." The Batman explained simply.

    "KiLL HiM! deStroY thE CrYstAl!"

    Every remaining soldier aimed their weapons at the human and for a second J''onn was worried the human wouldn''t survive, but a small shape flew next to the Batman a moment before they fired and carried him off. The ground where he had been standing was pockmarked with laser blasts but the crystal remained untouched as the anionic charge being produced by it created a shielding effect from the Imperium''s weapons.

    "Hi guys, sorry I''m late. I got a little lost." The Saiyan, Califa, said exuberantly. "And Batman! I knew you were alive! No way these Imperium creeps were enough to take you down!"

    Even as J''onn wrestled with the Imperium Leader, he couldn''t help but grin that the young girl hadn''t lost her mentor. It had pained him to deceive her, having seen too many young children receive news that a family member had fallen to the Imperium, but it had been necessary that no one knew of the plan in advance. Lest they risk it being discovered too early.

    In an ironic twist, the energy of the reversed crystal caused a bright blue beam to pierce the clouds in a very similar manner to the Saiyan girl''s earlier attack. The energy burned away at the cover, allowing the rays of the morning sun to shine through the holes in the building.

    The parasites began to flee as the light landed on them and began to burn them away. The soldiers died in seconds, the Leader was stronger but it began to boil and scream in agony just the same.

    "DAMn You, J''oNn J''OnZZ! DAMN yoU! NNNNGGGYYAAAAA!!!!!!"

    "What''s the matter? Does this burn your pale, putrid skin?" J''onn said savagely as he gripped the parasite by as many of its tendrils he could grasp, even the ones embedded in his own body.

    "tHiS isn''T oVeR! EVen iF i am dEstroyED, The iMPERIum sURVIVES! aNd YOu hAvE UnLeAsHEd A FAr MoRe DeSTRucTIVE ForCe UpON tHIS woRld! THE gREaT desTRoyEr lEAVeS oNly deAth and EmptY Worlds In itS waKe!" the Leader wailed even as its cellular structure was finally destroyed by the sunlight. J''onn ignored the parasite''s final words and focused on keeping it as illuminated as possible until nothing remained of the creature that had started a nightmare on his home planet. One that was finally over.

    "So, uh, good news is we won. But what was that about a ''Great Destroyer''?"

    J''onn looked up to see that his six companions had joined in a circle around him while the child, Califa, was hovering protectively behind the Batman.

    "I do not know." J''onn answered the Flash. "In the many years the Martians have fought the Imperium, they have never mentioned such a thing. Perhaps it was merely a deception to allow it time to escape from the sunlight."

    "If it was, it sure didn''t work out." The dark skinned Green Lantern commented. "Still, after all that time under those clouds, I know I''m going to enjoy a nice sunrise."

    "Yeah, you and me both." The Flash added.

    "It''s certainly a welcome sight." The Wonder Woman agreed.

    "Hmph, as long as the skies are clear I don''t care if it''s the sun or the moon. I''m just glad they''re gone." The Hawkwoman scowled, drawing J''onn and the other''s attention to Earth''s natural satellite as it began to make its journey towards the horizon, still fully visible in the early dawn hours.

    "Oh shit¡­that''s not good."

    All eyes turned to the Saiyan child at the sudden foul language and worried tone.

    The Superman began to ask what was wrong, but Califa seemed almost hypnotized by the sight of the moon.

    Then she began to change¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 17

    The seven heroes could only watch in stunned disbelief as the small Saiyan child transformed into a five story tall ape-like creature in the span of seconds. Interestingly, her black bodysuit and armor grew to match her new height while her whole body was covered in a coarse layer of brown fur, even her normally black hair shifting to match. The only indication of her normal hairstyle was the slight mane of longer fur falling around her shoulders. Her arms and legs thickened into massively powerful limbs that effortlessly smashed through the walls of the Imperium outpost. And most disconcerting, her eyes, normally filled with mischievous playfulness or curiosity, shifted to pure red orbs of malice.

    Semi-freed from the confines of the outpost, the Great Ape roared its fury for the world to hear before raising both arms into the air and smashing them down on the increasingly ruined building.

    Not content with a single attack, the huge figure began to thrash mindlessly around, causing an impressive amount of destruction in a short amount of time.

    "Guess we know what that thing meant by Great Destroyer now, huh?" Flash commented as the rest of them regrouped nearby. Despite being surprised by the transformation, all of them were quick to move when it became clear Califa''s change could bring the roof collapsing down on all of them. "So, uh, did anyone know she could do this? Cause the giant monkey form is a surprise to me."

    There was a chorus of no''s with the noticeable exception of Batman.

    "When I questioned her about her background, she mentioned a planet full of giant lizards she beat by waiting until she grew big enough to take them. I assumed she meant waiting until she was older, but if she meant this¡­" The Dark Knight trailed off.

    "Oh cool, did she mention how to snap her out of it by any chance?"

    Manhunter closed his eyes and put his hands to his temples in concentration. "Her mind is full of rage. Until she calms down I will not be able to communicate with her."

    "No chance you can just put her to sleep or something?" Hawkwoman asked.

    "No, her emotions are too powerful for me to influence in her current condition." He said. "We will need to find some other way to deal with her."

    Hawkwoman looked back at the rampaging giant and palmed her mace. "Think we can knock her out before she wanders off then? We aren''t that far away from a city. If she makes it there before we stop her¡­" No one needed to imagine the damage a fifty foot giant monkey could do to the place.

    "We might not need to go that far." Superman offered. "All she''s done is wreck the outpost. We could just keep her here until she calms down or we find a way to change her back."

    "It''s far enough that we wouldn''t need to worry about civilians." Wonder Woman agreed.

    With the beginnings of a plan in place Batman turned to Green Lantern.

    "Any chance there''s something in the non-restricted section of your ring about Saiyans transforming? Or how to change them back?"

    Green Lantern raised an eyebrow at him. "And why do you know Saiyans have a restriction on their information? Nevermind, from what I can see here Saiyans can transform into that form by being exposed to cosmic radiation reflected off celestial bodies. The only ways listed for them to change back is for them to tire out or for the source of the radiation to disappear. There is also one other way but I don''t think we want to do anything permanent."

    A few of them realized he was talking about putting her down for good and understandably balked at the thought of killing a child, especially those who had interacted with her frequently.

    "So, what? We have to somehow blow up the moon?" Hawkwoman questioned.

    "Whoa, wait a second!" Flash threw up his hands. "I''m pretty sure blowing up the moon is a bad idea, for like, a few reasons!"

    "No one is blowing up the moon." Wonder Woman put her foot down on that particular idea. "If all we need to do is remove the source, then we just need to keep her here until the moon sets.  We just need to make sure nothing catches her attention or for her to wander off."

    As if to spite those words several explosions bloomed on and around the giant monkey, causing it to roar in pain and anger and start looking for the source of the attack.

    "What was that?! Where did it come from?"

    Manhunter was the first one to find the cause of the commotion. "It''s the Army. They think she is a last resort by the Imperium."

    "Tell them to call off the attacks." Batman demanded. "The city is right behind them, they''ll lure her towards it!"

    "It''s too late. She''s already noticed them."

    Sure enough, the Great Ape had turned back to the military forces that had been firing on her. Before any of the heroes could react, a bright yellow light erupted from her maw and utterly destroyed several of the artillery platforms there, sending the Army soldiers scrambling for cover.

    To make things even worse, Califa hadn''t lost interest after destroying the platforms. She was slowly breaking her way out of the now thoroughly ruined outpost and was heading towards the Army group.

    Superman was the first to speak up.

    "We have to distract her. Keep her from hurting anyone until she changes back."

    "Right, distract King Kong from breaking everything. Anyone know where we can find a pretty blonde in a white dress?" Flash quipped before taking off in a streak of red, the other heroes not far behind.

    -o-

    As it turned out, distracting the giant monkey from going after the Army was easier said than done Clark noted before refocusing on the task in front of him.

    Superman made a note of Flash and Green Lantern taking off towards the soldiers to start evacuating them out of the area and stop any more mouth blasts from destroying the area while he and the rest of the group made for the transformed saiyan.

    He and Wonder Woman were the first ones there, and did their best to get her attention by flying directly in front of her face. "Califa, stop! The fight''s over you need to¨C"

    Ever since he decided to become Superman, he had fought a few creatures of similar size to what the Saiyan child had changed into but none of them were as fast as she was. He barely had time to notice the instant between when she pulled her arm back again and to when he was swatted into the ground like an annoying insect.

    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Groaning, Superman began to pull himself out of the destroyed rocks that partially buried him. Califa certainly hit harder in this form too.

    If this was the power saiyans could bring to bear when they didn''t care about individually overcoming a planet''s champions, then he was going to have to rethink how annoying it was the alien child kept challenging him one on one.

    "Superman!"

    He looked up just in time to see another mouth laser being charged and fired. Just before the yellow beam hit, he threw up his hands in an attempt to block it, but the energy smashed into him and sent him tunneling through the rock and into the Earth''s crust. When the beam finally cut out, the tunnel also collapsed and left him battered and in darkness.

    -o-

    "Superman!"

    Unfortunately for the Princess of Themyscira, Diana''s warning came too late and Superman was blasted under a mountainside. It seemed that in her current state the young warrior couldn''t recognize the people she had just been working with or didn''t care and fought them anyway. She hoped it wasn''t the latter. She had faced berserkers before and their battlelust often made them unpredictable, but when the haze cleared and they were able to think for themselves again they were usually affected with feelings of guilt.

    She may have only met the young Saiyan for a short time, but Diana didn''t want the spark of life she had seen in the girl snuffed out because of an accident made in an altered mindset.

    With that in mind, she realized the best thing to do would be to end the now unavoidable fight as quickly as possible so as few people as possible ended up hurt.

    She flew under a massive backhand and slammed her fists into the jaw of the giant creature. Hard. The force snapped the Ape''s head back and caused a roar of pain, but there was little actual damage done.

    By the gods, how much more powerful was the girl in this form?!

    Diana dodged over a grasping hand and saw both Hawkwoman and the Martian Manhunter land powerful blows of their own, successfully splitting the Ape''s attention between the three of them but again doing very little to actually damage it.

    Hawkwoman was the next of them to be targeted, probably because she was a larger flashier target between the wings and electrically charged mace. Another mouth beam shot at the winged hero, who managed to dodge it, but when Diana and Manhunter found out the Ape didn''t need her eyes to keep track of her opponents.

    Manhunter was able to phase through the tail before it slammed into him, but Diana ended up trapped as the Ape tried to crush her by clapping its hands together. She managed to catch them before they slammed together, but that just caused the Ape to put its effort into crushing her gradually.

    "RRaaAGHH!" With the mouth beam no longer focused on her, Hawkwoman went for the Ape''s head from above in an attempt to knock it out. But in another surprising feat, the fifty foot Ape was able to twist out of the way at the last moment. Caught off guard by the movement, Diana watched as a massive foot came up and smashed the winged woman into the ground and pinned her in place. At least she was still alive if the pained screaming and curses were an indication.

    Diana wasn''t able to focus on the other hero''s condition too long though, as the pressure surrounding her redoubled and she saw the beginnings of another mouth blast charging up.

    She braced herself as best she could, but before the attack could be released, two explosions erupted near the Ape''s eyes causing it to flail in shock and pain. Diana took advantage of the momentary distraction to free herself as a dark, bat-themed jet screamed past them.

    -o-

    Batman watched from above as the others regrouped again a short ways away from the Great Ape as he fired another missile at it.

    Flash and Green Lantern had rejoined them and Flash had even managed to secure Hawkwoman from where she had been pinned. The only one missing was Superman.

    Batman hoped he managed to regroup with them soon. His plan wouldn''t work without him.

    "Can everyone hear me?" He asked once he figured he had given Manhunter enough time to retrieve the earbuds he had provided and hand them out to the group. A small voice in the back of his head told him it would be faster and easier to have Martian Manhunter let them all speak telepathically, but he was not comfortable with letting someone into his head. No matter that he had done so before in order to trick the Imperium.

    No doubt others would have reservations as well. No, mass telepathy like that required a trust that simply didn''t exist between them in the short time they were working together. A technological solution would work just fine for now.

    "Yeah we hear you, Bats." Flash spoke up. "You have some kinda plan for this one? Cause we''re stopping her, but we aren''t slowing her down much."

    And that was the issue, wasn''t it? Yes all of them working together could keep the transformed Saiyan in one place, but injuries and fatigue were starting to pile up. Soon someone would make a mistake that would take them out of the fight and it could spell disaster.

    "I do. Although you are all going to have to work together for this to work." He went on to explain his plan. All the while doing his best to distract the raging giant with the diminishing amount of missiles aboard the Bat-jet and dodging the Ki beams being shot from the Saiyan''s mouth or the occasional rock thrown his way.

    "I''ve noticed while sparring with Califa there is a kind of scruffing reflex whenever someone manages to grab her tail. Probably how adult Saiyans keep their offspring under control. She''s been training herself out of the reaction but hasn''t managed it last time we met. Green Lantern, can you create a construct to secure her tail and hold it long enough for the moon to set?"

    "If she doesn''t move, probably." Green Lantern replied. "The problem is I''m running out of charge and if she struggles I won''t be able to hold her."

    Batman nodded.

    "I figured as much. The rest of us will have to secure her long enough for Lantern to hold her in place by tying her limbs down so she can''t move. Wonder Woman, Manhunter, Hawkwoman, can the three of you handle her arms?"

    "My Lasso should be enough for one of them at least." Wonder Woman confirmed.

    "It''ll be awkward but I think between me and the martian, we can handle the other." Hawkwoman added.

    "Okay, great." Flash said. " We got the arms and the tail handled but how are we going to stop her from blasting us with a mouth laser or just walking off while we''re trying this?"

    "Flash, you and I will handle the mouth." Batman said. "There''s a tow cable attached to my jet. I''ll make a distraction, you will have to bind her mouth closed before she can fire off a blast."

    "Oh great. If I get eaten, you can expect a strongly worded letter in the mail." Flash whined. "That doesn''t stop her from walking off though."

    "I''m guessing that''s my job then?" The voice Batman was waiting for asked.

    The Caped Crusader allowed himself a small smile. "Yes, you will have to pin her in place once the others finish their part of the plan."

    Superman sighed. "I never thought dealing with kids could be this high maintenance." He finished with a smile in his voice.

    Ignoring the Man of Steel''s joking tone, Batman looked out the cockpit to see the giant ape had lost interest in him and was now moving towards the city lights visible in the distance.

    "We''re out of time. Stick to the plan."

    -o-

    The heroes didn''t start going for the Ape''s limbs immediately.

    Not only had she shown that even in a rage-fueled state Califa still possessed some form of animal cunning, if any of them failed to subdue her at the same time they risked her freeing one of her other limbs and making the effort useless.

    Instead they reengaged the fight by having Superman attempt to blindside her with a punch to the head, but once again the Great Ape seemed to detect him without using her eyes. This time, however, when the Saiyan went to focus on Superman, Wonder Woman managed to get her Lasso around the Ape''s right wrist.

    "Go now!"

    Following the Amazon''s cry, Martian Manhunter, in the form of a long serpentine creature, phased up through the ground and wrapped himself around the giant ape''s legs as Hawkwoman dived bombed it from above. With a characteristic warcry, Hawkwoman smashed the ape''s head with her mace three times before the Ape tried to bat her away with its remaining hand.

    The second it did so, Wonder Woman pulled on the Lasso as hard as she could while an emerald beam slammed into the Ape''s back. Off balance and unable to move thanks to the Martian Manhunter, the combined force of Wonder Woman and Green Lantern was enough to cause the Great Ape to fall to its hands and knees.

    Hawkwoman circled back around and smashed her mace into its left wrist, driving the Ape even further off balance and finally crashing to the ground with Superman landing on its back and pushing hard enough that the ground under the Ape began to crack and give way.

    "Manhunter, Flash, now!" Batman ordered as one end of the towcable was fired into the ground near the Ape''s snout and anchored itself there. Flash covered the open ground in a blink of an eye while carrying the other end of the cable and tightly wrapping it so the saiyan was unable to open her mouth.

    Martian Manhunter moved from the Ape''s legs to the left arm and pulled together with Wonder Woman to force them both straight.

    Finally, Green Lantern grabbed the Saiyan''s tail with his ring and held on tight.

    They had managed to hold down the giant Ape, but just as they had feared simply grabbing hold of its tail wasn''t enough to knock the fight out of it. The Ape might have greatly weakened, but it was still struggling and trying to free itself.

    "We can''t hold her like this forever!" Hawkwoman snarled as she added her own strength to the effort of keeping the left arm immobile.

    "Keep it up as long as you can." Batman ordered, "Even if we can''t stop her we can buy ourselves time."

    "She''s struggling too much!" Wonder Woman cried as she strained against the force pulling on her lasso. "She''s going to escape any second, Flash, get out of there!"

    The Flash ignored the warnings. Instead he zipped around until he was directly in front of the Great Ape''s face and waved to get its attention.

    "Hey Califa!" He called out and managed to resist flinching as both giant rage-filled red eyes locked onto him with laser focus. "Hey, don''t worry kid, fight''s over! Why don''t you just calm down and take a nap? We''ll grab a bite to eat when you wake up, sounds good?" He said in the most calming voice he could.

    If the Ape''s mouth hadn''t been firmly tied shut it might have tried to bite the Scarlet Speedster, but fortunately it was so the Ape had to settle for a great big huff of air instead. Although the struggling was starting to diminish.

    Flash had to brace himself against the gust of warm, moist wind ¨C giant monkey snot, eyuck! ¨C but recovered quickly and continued speaking in the same tone of voice. "Yeah, we can try out that BBQ place I was telling you about. Maybe finally introduce you to Kid Flash so he can''t whine about missing you all the time."

    The more Flash talked, the more the Great Ape relaxed. Eventually its eyes began to drift closed and it began to breathe deeply. The struggles stopped completely and the heroes were able to stop trying to restrain it.

    "She is sleeping." Manhunter confirmed for all of them after shifting back to a more humanoid appearance. "As long as she remains undisturbed, I believe I can keep her from awakening before the moon is set."

    "Good, I don''t want to have to do that all over again." Hawkwoman exclaimed, rubbing at a stiff spot on her shoulders.

    "Yeah, me either." Flash added, trying to wipe some of the¡­stuff, off himself with little success. "I''m already going to need a long shower after this."

    "Then let''s do a quick check to make sure nothing nearby is going to wake her up again." Superman suggested. "But other than that, good work everyone. We made a good team."

    Batman watched as the other heroes split off to take care of whatever they felt needed to be done at the moment. But last thing Superman said stuck in his mind.

    ''A good team, huh? Maybe we''ll need more of that¡­''

 Growing Pains - Chapter 18

    The world had changed after the Imperium.

    Sure, there had been alien invasions in the past. But all of those had been relatively short affairs that ended quickly.

    The Imperium had infiltrated and sabotaged Earth for years before launching their main attack and it had taken a collective effort of several of the greatest heroes the world had seen working together in a way not seen since WWII to push them back.

    And now people wanted assurances that it wasn''t going to simply happen again.

    Thankfully, they didn''t have to wait long.

    -o-

    A man spoke on a podium while several brightly costumed figures stood behind him. To many this was the first time that they had seen several heroes standing together without some major crisis getting in the way. That proved attractive enough that the normally dull U.N. press conference was drawing in record numbers with the public across the world.

    "...and when we needed them most, the heroes behind me and many more that could not be here today stepped forward to protect our world. We cannot thank them enough, but today I am proud to offer these heroes a medal of valor for their actions and a symbolic one for each and every person that stood against the Imperium." The man stepped back and after a brief award ceremony, Superman stepped forward.

    "Ladies and Gentlemen of the United Nations," The most iconic superhero in the world began. "A few weeks ago, we faced a threat unlike one we had ever encountered. A hostile force that had not only set their sights on conquering our planet but draining it dry of everything it could offer. A threat that did not come boldly from the stars, but one that hid among us and waited until they were too widespread for one hero to deal with.

    "I''m proud to say that when faced with such a massive and overwhelming threat the residents of this world, common and powered alike, joined forces to protect our home.

    "But despite our success, this event was an eyeopener.

    "There will be some things that are too big for one person, one hero¡­even me, to handle. When those times come we will look to each other for help, and when that isn''t enough¡­you can look to us," Superman turned slightly and held out a hand to the heroes standing with him. Wonder Woman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Hawkwoman, and Martian Manhunter all stood tall and proud. "For times when one hero isn''t enough, more will come. Members of the United Nations, it is my great pleasure to announce the formation of the Justice League."

    The Man of Steel might have wanted to say more, but anything else was drowned out by the thunderous applause in the assembly hall.

    -o-

    Not everyone was interested in watching Superheroes make announcements though. Some of them just wanted things to hurry up and get back to normal. Even if they felt they needed some additional help to¡­move things along.

    -o-

    "So¡­" I looked between the shady guy in sunglasses and the blacked out silhouette on the monitor, who was definitely, totally, not Luthor, in his hands. "...you''re saying you will pay me $100,000 dollars to guard a crate until someone else comes to pick it up."

    "Correct. We have some footage from the invasion and were impressed with your abilities." TotallyNot!Luthor explained. "We thought this would be a good¡­test run before we reach out for a more, long term partnership."

    "You do know I''m trying to take over the planet, right? Ya''know, the one you''re on right now?" I felt compelled to point out.

    "I think you''ll find humanity is quite flexible when it chooses to work with others, even about being under others. As long as you and the beings you represent are reasonable, I don''t see why we can''t do business together."

    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    Wow, if I didn''t know for a fact that Luthor would never settle for being second fiddle to anyone I might have been convinced he was serious about a partnership. It also gave away how little he knew about Saiyans since we weren''t exactly¡­reasonable all the time¡­or even most of the time.

    "I guess that''s fine. What''s in the box though?" I asked.

    "The United Nations and this new Justice League are doing their best to mop everything up, but there are plenty of scientists and organizations that are very interested in alien technology and its potential uses and are willing to use some less-than-legal methods to get them. I just happen to know several who would be very happy to get a large amount of such technology under the radar."

    Okay, alien supertech and not a doomsday device or something like that.

    "And you want me to, what? Just hang around and make sure no one runs off with it?"

    "That and stop any costumed annoyances that decide to poke their noses into things. I know you''re very busy preparing for your future challenges so I won''t even have you escort it to the final delivery site. Just wait until my courier service arrives and handles it."

    "Ah-hahaha, yeah busy¡­that''s me alright." I shifted awkwardly. I don''t think I did anything besides train and browse the internet for interesting places to eat since I found out the Metropolis Mayoral election was delayed due to the invasion.

    Thankfully, TotallyNot!Luthor said nothing about that.

    "So Miss Califa, do we have a deal?"

    "Sure! When do I start?"

    "My assistant will provide you with the details. I hope this marks the beginnings of a wonderful partnership."

    Somehow I doubted that.

    -o-

    And while Villains and Heroes prepared for the future¡­some of the younger names in the game were left unsupervised¡­

    -o-

    "So what brings you guys out to Star City?" Speedy asked as he leaned back and took a sip of his soda. "I mean, yeah, I like hanging out with you guys, but isn''t it kinda far from home?"

    Robin huffed, swiping one of the fry containers before Kid Flash inhaled them all. "Nah, I got dragged here for some charity things to help deal with some of the damages. I figured at least the two of us could meet up for a bit."

    "And Star City is like a few hours away from me." Kid Flash added, thankfully without a mouthful of food.

    "Let me guess, your mentors say it''s too busy to risk going out right now so they''re keeping you busy with training instead of any real hero work?" Speedy asked.

    "Yeah." "Yup." The other two responded.

    "Yeah, GA is the same. Can''t really blame him cause things got messed up and everything, and I hear he was invited to something about joining the Justice League. But I kinda want to go out and do something, ya''know?"

    "What, like try finding a robbery to stop or something?" Kid Flash polished off his third cheeseburger and reached for another. "As cool as that would be, I''d be in so much trouble for that."

    Speedy shook his head. "Yeah, no, I''d get benched for a month if I did that too. I mean why don''t we head to the docks and do some parkour off the stuff there."

    "Looking to get upstaged again?" Robin taunted the slightly older kid.

    "You wish, shortstuff."

    "I dunno, flips and stuff aren''t really my thing." Kid Flash didn''t sound so enthused.

    "I have a new camera. You could get some neat shots with superspeed?"

    "Okay, I''m up for that."

    "Cool, then let''s go after ¨C hey! Who ate my fries?!"

    -o-

    I was regretting accepting TotallyNot!Luthor''s job. This was so freaking boring!

    The whole thing practically screamed it was the kinda thing that would have someone poking their nose into. I mean, seriously, smuggled alien tech? Batman or one of the other detective-like heroes should have been swarming all over something like this.

    Was this going to be one of those annoyingly well planned things that went off without a hitch?

    I closed my eyes and paid attention to my Ki Sense. There had to be something interesting going on nearby.

    Most of what I got back was just some of the wildlife big enough to be noticeable ¨C a few dogs, a pair of seals in the water, and a few that were too small for me to recognize ¨C and the humans that worked on the dock. But there were three signatures that were moving around in a more active way that suggested a lot of physical activity. I wonder what that was about?

    Looking back at the crate I was supposed to be guarding I gave it a whole three seconds of thought before shrugging and floating off towards the three.

    The crate would be fine if I took a quick peek.

    -o-

    "Huh, not what I was expecting." I said, announcing my arrival to the three kids below me.

    Three Sidekicks doing parkour in the middle of nowhere wasn''t on my list of potential things that I could find checking out the Ki signatures, but that''s what I found.

    Causing the redhead with the bow to slip and almost fall off the table he was standing on ¨C as opposed to the redhead with a camera that nearly jumped a foot in the air ¨C was worth any disappointment from it not being a local hero poking into things. Too bad Robin was used to people coming from nowhere and barely reacted.

    "So what you doing, birdbrain? Also aren''t you on the wrong side of the country?" I asked.

    "Batman has something to talk with Green Arrow about and doesn''t want me running around Gotham on my own, so I''m here babysitting Speedy and Kid Flash-" "Hey!/Liar!" "-the bigger question is what are you doing here, stupid monkey?" Robin shot back, crossing his arms over his chest.

    I shrugged. "Looking for something to do. Saw you idiots jumping around and decided to drop by."

    Speedy scowled. "We were doing parkour, not ''jumping around''. It''s something that takes actual skill instead of just flying everywhere."

    That sounded like a challenge.

    "Yeah? Then let''s prove it." I scowled right back.

    "Oh, it''s on. Let''s see how cocky you are without the powers."

    -o-

    A few hours later the Sidekicks got calls from their various mentors and had to head back, which was a shame because once we got past the mandatory young teen grandstanding the various parkour challenges we set for each other were really fun.

    I couldn''t help feeling like I forgot something tho¨C

    The crate!

    I rushed back to the post I was supposed to be guarding and did a quick once over just to make sure nothing had happened, but it seemed that even with three deputy heroes cleverly drawing me away (at least that was the story I was going to stick with) nothing had happened.

    When a random minion came by a few minutes later to pick it up and give me the rest of my payment I chalked the whole thing down as an easy win and moved on towards the cave I called home.

    I guess not everything I do has to end in a giant battle.

    ¡­not that if they did that would be a bad thing¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 19

    I panted heavily as sweat poured down my forehead.

    Water crashed back together as the last of my Ki beam fizzled out, I had nothing left to sustain it.

    I watched it until the last traces vanished and the only thing left was a few gentle waves washing up to shore. With one final sigh I forced myself to relax and flopped backwards onto the sand.

    Ki training was hard.

    At first I had simply tried to recreate a bunch of techniques all at once and quickly found out aside from simpler energy attacks, I was actually pretty bad at it. I had no idea how to do tricks like the multi-form, spirit bomb, kaioken, instant transmission, or anything like that. It really drove home how hard creating techniques that weren''t just huge beams of energy was.

    So instead of wasting time trying to figure those out, I was training my control.

    To an outsider it looked like I was just firing Ki blasts out into the ocean, but I was constantly forcing the beam to be certain sizes, certain intensities, and moving it around once I fired it. Then once I was getting low on stamina, I would focus on drawing more out. Both increasing the amount of Ki I could comfortably use and making sure I could put up a fight even when I was exhausted.

    I''d like to think I made some really great progress. There was just one problem¡­

    "I''m so BORED!" I whined.

    Yep, after a while even shooting giant death lasers got boring.

    I tried coming up with different games, setting goals, and just about everything I could think of to stay motivated, but it obviously wasn''t working.

    The worst part was that I couldn''t just go find someone to fight anymore. With the Justice League so new, the heroes were busy coordinating and working with governments about stuff and getting their headquarters modernized. Several of the times I went looking for them it turned out they simply weren''t in the area anymore. And all the villains I''d be interested in were hiding out until they could figure out how the League would function. Sure there were still criminals and disasters getting cleaned up by different heroes, but the story of Donald Oz, the most unfortunate thief in history, had most of them spooked.

    Donald had been in the middle of stealing some jewel when he found out that not only had he tripped an alarm, every single member of the Justice League had just so happened to be in the nearby Mount Justice getting the old WWII hangout of the Justice Society refitted and decided to take a break to deal with him.

    It was obviously hilarious overkill for a normal human, but the people that regularly tried facing off against demigods now realized that there was a chance they could wind up facing their own particular demigod and potentially some friends.

    And since most villains were cowards, they decided to lay low.

    At this point I realized if I wanted to fight someone more challenging than a SWAT team, I would need to go looking for them specifically or force them to come to me.

    ¡­and I knew just the person that could help me with that.

    -o-

    Finding who I was after turned out to be a bit harder than I thought.

    Especially because it turned out I missed her by a day when I decided to check out her workplace. Only a lucky overheard conversation between a pair of secretaries let me know when she was expected at a specific airport with a layover allowed me to catch up and start looking.

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    Even then I almost missed her and her partner because rather than go to a hotel like a normal person, Lois Lane jumped into a car and immediately headed out into the desert and the weapons demonstration field out there with her photographer in tow.

    The demonstration was actually pretty cool and I was glad I decided to see what Lois was doing before I went about meeting her in person. It featured some kind of remote control android thing that was supposed to allow the military to respond to issues where normal humans would be wiped out. I guess it made sense the government would still want a way to deal with another alien invasion themselves even with the Justice League stepping up.

    The whole thing was interesting enough I didn''t feel the need to interrupt and so I planned on simply flying down to meet Lois after the show, but then she and her friend followed some military guy into a bunker and I could feel my already generous patience running out.

    -o-

    "...to the passive AI system, the IR-0n system slowly adapts to improve the wearer''s reaction speed and movements." I overheard the military guy saying after I snuck into the bunker. While I wasn''t exactly trained in stealth by Batman, you pick a few things up if you watch him long enough.

    "That''s great and all, Lieutenant, but what about the concerns that this will create similar problems as Lexcorp''s Series Alpha battlesuit?" Lois Lane asked skeptically. I actually remembered reading about that!

    Lexcorp made a really neat robocop thing that was supposed to give police similar capabilities to Superman, but the guy wearing the prototype was driven insane by it and the whole thing was scrapped. I guess the military decided to pick up where they left off.

    "We''ve taken precautions against that. The wearer has less direct integration than with the Series Alpha and since the drone is remote controlled there is less physiological dependence on the abilities provided by the IR-0n system." Military guy reassured her. "The effective range is drastically cut down until more advancements can be made, but to the wearer it''s just like getting in a car rather than putting on a suit."

    "Doesn''t seem that much different to me if you decided to call them ''wearers'' rather than pilots or something."

    "Haha, sorry but the name started out as part of a joke. Here, see for yourself." Another man walked in from an adjoining room. Rather than a military uniform, he was in some kind of hi-tech bodysuit with a bunch of rings surrounding his limbs like halos except for his legs where the rings got wider the further down they went. "This is Specialist Michael Rhodes, one of our ''dress wearers'' to use the full term. For some reason the boys don''t like being called that so it got shortened to ''wearer'' pretty quick."

    Ah, cause it looked like a hoop dress.

    "Couldn''t tell you, LT." Rhodes said jokingly. "I think dress wearers fits just fine. Helps I know I pull it off damn fine."

    "Well at least one of you boys has an ego not made out of glass." Lois commented even as she wrote down some notes. "Do you mind if¡­?" She asked leadingly, motioning to her photographer.

    "Not at all, so long as he gets my good side."

    "You don''t have a good side, Rhodes."

    "I dunno, he looks kinda cool from above." I announced my presence as I hovered down towards the ground.

    The four humans jumped simultaneously at the unexpected noise and all reacted differently. Military guy (I should probably figure out his name) went for a sidearm that wasn''t there. Specialist Rhodes jumped away from the group and flicked his eyes between me and the door he walked out from, probably where the drone thingy''s pilot seat was. And Lois grabbed her photographer friend and immediately pulled him behind her and started edging away.

    Good reaction speeds on all of them. The only one that I saw do something stupid was the photographer, since his first reaction to an unknown voice in a secure military bunker was to point his camera at me and take a picture.

    "Was the flash really necessary?" I complained.

    "Sorry!"

    "Who are you?! How did you get in here?!"

    Wow, he seemed stressed.

    "Hi, I''m Califa! I snuck in." I answered casually.

    "The alien that attacked Metropolis. Are you here for the IR-0n system? It won''t do you any good, the control system is too big for you to move anywhere." Military guy growled.

    "You mean the robot thing? Yeah it was cool, but I''m not here for that." I pointed at Lois. "I''m here for her."

    "...I see. Specialist Rhodes, take Miss Lane to the back and get plugged in." Military guy said gravely. "I''ll buy you some time."

    "Lieutenant?!"

    "I''m not about to let a hostile alien kidnap a citizen of the US right in front of me. Now get moving!"

    "Sir! Let''s go, you two¡­" I watched as the three ran out of the room but made no move to stop them, even when the security door slammed into place and locked with a loud hiss of hydraulics.

    While I waited for the robot to get here I turned my attention back to Military Guy. I was really curious what he was going to do to buy time. But after several seconds he still hadn''t made a move.

    I fidgeted awkwardly and moved around trying to get him to do something, but he just kept standing there watching me.

    "So aren''t you going to do something?"

    "I am doing something." He said back calmly.

    I waited a bit more trying to figure out what he could be doing and came to a boring conclusion.

    "You''re just stalling aren''t you?"

    Military Guy laughed. "You went toe to toe with one of the most powerful people on the planet. What did you expect a normal human to do?"

    "If you just wanted to wait until the robot got here, you could have said so." I scowled and sat down on the floor. "I got excited for nothing. Lame."

    "That''s it? I admit I was expecting you to blast past me once you realized my bluff¡­"

    I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah but if I did that, I wouldn''t be able to fight your robot."

    Besides, I could sense Lois wasn''t going anywhere. So there was no reason not to leave her in the secured room while I <s>played with</s> stress tested their robot.

    The bunker rumbled a bit as a tall mechanical form crashed through a concrete wall and looked around the room, arm raised to blast something. I couldn''t help but laugh privately when the machine paused and looked back and forth between Military guy and me, clearly not expecting to see his boss unharmed and me just waiting for him to show up.

    I didn''t give him time to think the situation over though. In a second I rolled to my feet and leapt at the robot, punching it back through the hole it made and even creating a new one in the roof. I wanted him to go all out. No holding back because he was scared of bringing the bunker down on him and the others!

    "Okay, now we can really cut loose!" I grinned as I watched the robot recover from being punched through a building, floating on some kinda jet-boots and looking barely scratched from the impact.

    "You''re kinda a brat aren''t you?" Came the slightly modulated voice of Rhodes, but he settled into a more aggressive stance anyway.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 20

    Since my opponent was a robot not capable of facial expressions there was no particular signal I could use to start the fight. So I just decided to go when it looked like he was ready.

    Deciding to test the robot out before I got too serious I rushed straight in, fist raised for an obvious right cross. But rather than move to meet me, the robot flew to the side and shot an energy beam of some kind at me.

    I countered with a quick Ki blast of my own and flew up and over the resulting smoke of the two attacks exploding. I was fast enough to get above Rhodes and get close enough to drop an ax-kick down on his head that he only just managed to block with an upraised arm. I could have tried to power through the block but I decided to backflip off it instead and blast the robot in the chest with a Ki attack. That turned out to be a mistake because when I tried getting closer again, Rhodes just flew backwards while peppering me with energy beams.

    "Get back here and fight me!"

    "You just dented a combat-rated metal armor plate with a kick! I''m not going to let you trash a multi-million dollar weapons platform that easily, monkey girl!"

    I snarled and blocked another energy blast with one of my own.

    The fight was quickly turning into a stalemate of the two of us shooting down the other''s attacks with me trying to get closer and Rhodes trying to get further away.

    One of us was going to need to try something new or this would be an endurance contest to see who ran out of energy first. And since Rhodes seemed content to just blast away, it was up to me to do it.

    I fired a Ki beam far to the right but rather than just letting the attack do its own thing, I focused on it moving. Thankfully the hours of practicing my Ki manipulation meant the beam curved just like I wanted it to and slammed into the side of the robot and exploded.

    "You can curve those things?!" Rhodes exclaimed as he quickly flew out of the explosion, trailing smoke but not super damaged from what I could see.

    "You bet I can!" I shouted back, shooting another two beams to prevent him from getting away.

    Rhodes dodged them, but since he had to make sure one of them wasn''t going to swerve into him at the last second he was too slow to stop me from getting close enough to punch him. Once again he blocked with an upraised arm, the same one from earlier, but this time he didn''t move to escape.

    This time he actually punched back.

    As happy as I was he was finally fighting back properly, I wasn''t going to just let him punch me in the face. Which turned out to be a good idea since I felt something tingle across my skin when I dodged and I felt the hairs on my head stand up a little more.

    "Wait, do you have shock-fists?!"

    "Tch, smart kid. Yeah, the IR-0n suit had taser gauntlets for subduing tougher targets. Don''t suppose you want to throw in the towel now?"

    I practically vibrated with excitement and charged again. "Are you kidding? This is just getting cooler and cooler! What else do you have?"

    "Making this real hard on me, brat."

    I ducked under a quick jab and grabbed the robot by the forearm. Unlike the fists it didn''t seem like the arm itself was electrified so I twisted and threw the robot down to the ground where it cratered into a field. I seriously doubted that was going to finish it though if a kick only dented it, so I rushed down after it.

    Sure enough, the robot staggered out of the crater just in time for me to throw another punch at its head. This time, rather than blocking, Rhodes took the punch just to let him land a hit of his own. I wasn''t just expecting him to let me whail on him though and blocked it.

    I yelped as the electricity coursed through my arm and decided straight up blocking was a last resort.

    I darted around the grounded robot like a hummingbird, not willing to let Rhodes get an opening to try flying off again, while trading punches and kicks with the robot''s own electrified punches. And to my excitement, Rhodes was actually pretty good. Even though I was trying my best to dodge or redirect his attacks, a few managed to hit me and I was feeling a numb, tingly feeling in my arms when he forced me to block.

    "You''ve gotta be kidding me. These tasers were designed to incapacitate an elephant with a single punch." Rhodes complained after I missed a block and he got a solid punch on my face. Yeah, it hurt but my adrenaline was racing and I wasn''t going to get taken down by a single punch.

    "It''s gonna take more than that!" I exclaimed and shot forward again.

    "You''re right. Sorry ''bout this in advance¡­" A panel on the robot''s shoulder popped open and before I could react a blinding white light seared my eyes. I almost thought it was a flashbomb but there was no sound. Did he just blind me with a flashlight?!

    And they stole the concept behind the Solar Flare! How dare the military steal my stolen technique, I''ll sue!

    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Putting thoughts of legal action aside until after the fight, I tried opening my eyes only to snap them shut again when everything was way too bright.

    Okay¡­so I was temporarily blind. I could just track Rhodes'' Ki to¡­Rhodes was piloting a remote control robot. There was no Ki to sense.

    ¡­this might be an issue.

    Still, I wasn''t about to let something as small as having no idea where my opponent was stop me from beating them.

    "Might wanna give-" I spun towards the noise and unleashed a double handed Ki blast. "-up before you get hurt. Damn kid, you''re pretty vicious." Rhodes'' voice finished from a completely different location. I fired a blast towards that spot too. "But you lose this one." His voice changed location again. I figured he was probably using speakers or something like that but I blasted it anyway.

    "Hah! You think this is enough to beat me? I already said it takes more than that." I said, straining my senses to the limit. Now that I was paying attention I could hear a low humming sound somewhere up and to my right.

    So Rhodes was flying again. Now I just had to figure out where he was exactly¡­

    A barely perceptible ''whump'' sound came from the general area I figured Rhodes was followed by a more audible thump on the ground behind me.

    "Seriously, give up. Alien invader or not I didn''t sign up to beat up kids."

    A toothy smile formed on my face. "Good for you cause you aren''t beating me anyway." I raised my hand to where I pictured the robot was hovering and released a blast as fast as I could. Rhodes'' sudden shout of dismay confirmed for me that I at least hit him. I heard something crash to the ground but it sounded too small to be the whole robot.

    I tried opening my eyes again to see what happened but had to shut them almost immediately again. Still too sensitive. But I did see what I thought was a dismembered arm on the ground. Definitely hit him then.

    "So what now? You going to keep talking at me while I take shots at you? Think next time I can get a leg?" I taunted.

    "You asked for it!" Rhodes growled and I heard the humming sound get more intense.

    Relying on my instincts I dodged to the left and felt a whoosh of air pass by harmlessly. I followed after it with a punch and when that was deflected, spun and kicked where I imagined the robot''s head was.

    "How are you fighting better when you can''t see!?" Rhodes demanded.

    "I''m awesome like that!"

    A metal limb uppercutted me in the chin making my head snap back. I dove to the side and felt an energy blast cut through the space I was just in. Rhodes was finally going all out, which was perfect because I was finally starting to see again. Everything was blurry, but that was good enough.

    After getting hit multiple times, the robot was now pretty scuffed up. The worst of the damage was definitely the missing arm. I think I had gotten lucky and hit the thing in the elbow joint with enough power to cut it right off because the remaining part of the arm seemed mostly fine. Hopefully the army guys fixed that for next time.

    "Alright then, I''m ready to kick this up a notch. What else you got?"

    Rhodes sighed. "You were going easy on me? The brass isn''t going to like that. And sorry kid, these suits were fitted for a demonstration not live combat. I''ve hit you with everything I''ve got on this thing."

    "Oh."

    Seriously? He had nothing else?

    Meh, fine then. I wasn''t expecting a fight anyway and this was at least fun. I''d stop by later once they fixed the robot up and hopefully by then it would have some new tricks for me.

    "I''m just gonna finish this up then."

    "Don''t think I''ll make it easy for you."

    And to give credit where it was due, Rhodes didn''t. Even down half an arm and knowing he was going to lose, the guy did his best to beat me. We ended up flying all over the test range trading punches, kicks, and energy blasts. The army pilot got several good hits in and I was looking pretty beat up, but it was practically all surface level stuff while the robot was taking a much more thorough beating. The fight took a solid turn in my favor when I ended up catching a kick to the side but managed to hold onto the leg instead. I let out a victorious yell as I drove my elbow down on the vulnerable knee joint and tore the lower half of the leg right off.

    Down an arm and a leg, Rhodes couldn''t stop me from eventually tearing off the rest of his limbs until all that remained was a stumpy torso with a head lying on the ground.

    "Well¡­shit¡­" Rhodes cursed, robotic head looking at what was left of his limbs. "We''ll call it a draw?"

    I smirked and held a hand up to the featureless faceplate. "Nah, I win. Better luck next time."

    Then I blasted the head off the robot and turned back towards the bunker.

    More Ki signatures had shown up, but they all seemed around the level of normal humans. Sure there could be some kind of supertech there, but if they had that why hadn''t they sent it out here to help Rhodes fight? No, I was pretty sure it was just going to be normal soldiers. Oh well, time to stop playing and actually get what I came here for.

    -o-

    Lois watched nervously as the feed from the IR-0n suit flashed a bright yellow before cutting to black. You didn''t have to be a genius to figure out that probably meant the suit had been destroyed, but Specialist Rhodes cursing and quickly disconnecting from the ''cradle'' pretty much confirmed it.

    "Sorry Lieutenant Ross. I did my best but the IR-0n prototype is KIA. I couldn''t stop her."

    "You did your best." Ross scowled.

    Lois could sympathize. This wasn''t the first time she had seen one of these examples of cutting edge military tech be praised as an unstoppable titan only for it to be taken apart by an alien using nothing more than their bare hands. Granted the last time this happened, she was pretty happy the tech lost because it was stolen by mercenaries. It wasn''t so great when it was supposed to be the thing protecting her.

    Sounds of fighting crackled over a console near Lieutenant Ross. The man looked at a video feed before helplessly cutting it off and picking up a handgun he had retrieved once the Saiyan had run off to fight a military robot.

    "Well, our intruder has destroyed our best defense and just took out our reinforcements. I''d like to say there''s no way she could get inside here, but¨C" The inches thick metal security door exploded interrupting the man. When the dust cleared a scuffed and bloodied, but happily grinning Califa practically skipped through the wreckage.

    Lois was practically resigned to being kidnapped at this point and was ready to give herself up. Hopefully Califa would just take her and leave, because the Army sure couldn''t handle her.

    "Hi there." The little destroyer chirped and made her way over, shooting one of those little yellow orbs at the Lieutenant''s gun and turning it to scrap in the process.

    "Hello." Lois knew Califa was definitely more dangerous than any thug or criminal that had kidnapped her in the past. But her pride wasn''t going to let her get hysterical when faced with a preteen when she didn''t crack to those guys. "So, you wanted me for something?"

    "Yep, I wanted to ask you a question."

    Everyone in the room froze.

    "A question?!" Lois couldn''t believe her ears. Did this insane little kid break into a secure military base, fight a cutting edge robot, blast through several squads of soldiers¡­all to ask her a question?!

    "Yeah, so, I''ve been trying to get a hold of Superman for another rematch but I can''t seem to get his attention. But you always seem to get him to come running when you need him. So how do you do it?"

    "You''ve got to be kidding me¡­"

    "Oh, hi Rhodes! Good fight, let me know when your suit gets fixed up and we can go for round two."

    "Wait, you didn''t come here to kidnap Miss Lane?" Lieutenant Ross demanded.

    Califa tilted her head. "Would that help me get Superman''s attention?"

    "It happens enough, so probably." Lois gave Jimmy a death glare he had the decency to flinch away from. Unless everyone managed to get out of this unharmed, she was going to have him gophering meetings for a year before he even got the chance to get behind a camera again.

    "So I could have just grabbed her at the airport? Oh well, I got a decent fight out of it so that''s fine. And I guess I''m going to kidnap Lois now?"

    The Saiyan had been following them that long?! And no one noticed?!

    "Do you think we''ll just let you?" Lois had to give it to Ross and Rhodes. They certainly weren''t the types to give up. Unfortunately¡­

    "Well, unless you have another robot or something lying around¡­you can''t exactly stop me." A terrifyingly sharp toothy grin stretched across the Saiyan''s face. But just as quickly as it came, it vanished back into a cheerful smirk. Then Lois found herself scooped up into a princess carry and floating away as the alien child proved no one there could.

    "Oh, and photo guy. Make sure you got my good side!"

    Lois hoped someone got word to the heroes fast. She wasn''t the best with kids and spending time alone with a superpowered preteen sounded like a nightmare. But she did agree with the tiny menace on one thing. Jimmy had better have gotten some good shots of that fight. If it got out that she was getting captured by children now without evidence not even the army could stop them her reputation would never recover.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 21

    I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I might be an impulsive idiot.

    How did I discover this?

    Because I couldn''t follow my own stupid plan when distracted by a shiny robot and a combat high!

    I was supposed to find Lois Lane, ask her how to find her boyfriend, and then leave. I wasn''t supposed to kidnap her off of any army base because everyone told me to!

    Kidnappings are serious business! I wasn''t ready to kidnap someone yet! I didn''t have a slow-moving, easily disabled deathtrap or a cage suspended over a lava pit or a bomb with a giant count down timer or anything! Heck, I didn''t even have a warehouse to put her in! Lois was going to think I was a total amateur when all I could do was ask her not to wander off because humans were stupidly fragile (usually) and I couldn''t just tie her up and leave her in my cave. That was just asking her to get eaten by a bear because I wasn''t going to babysit her the whole time.

    "Hey! How far are you taking me?! We''ve been flying for hours!"

    Oh, yeah. And then there was Lois herself.

    I really hoped I would figure out what to do with her soon.

    -o-

    Lois looked around the place I had made my home and I could tell she wasn''t impressed. Yeah, the space pod in the back was probably pretty cool but that didn''t really matter when everything else looked like it would have fit in on an episode of the Flintstones.

    But it wasn''t like I really needed furniture and I was durable enough that rocks weren''t all that uncomfortable.

    "So you''ve been living here since you landed on Earth?" Lois asked, politely ignoring how unprepared I was having a human here.

    "More or less. Sorry if it''s not what you were expecting. I''m still getting a hang of the whole ''villain'' thing and haven''t really focused on living spaces or lairs." At least that was the story I was going to stick to. Peer pressured into kidnapping Superman''s girlfriend? Who, me? No, I was just a novice that didn''t have a convenient underground base just yet.

    Of course that still meant I was stuck with Lois for a while.

    "I''m guessing you don''t exactly have some master plan if you just brought me to your home." The reporter accurately guessed. "And I''m guessing you aren''t going to let me leave until Superman shows up?"

    "I have a plan!" I quickly interjected. "It''s¡­" I trailed off.

    Was there any point in futilely trying to pretend I knew what I was doing?

    Well, my pride. But that was going to take a beating anyway because it was obvious I wasn''t fooling Lois.

    "Okay, yeah I don''t have a plan." I admitted. "But it''s not my fault okay?! I wasn''t expecting everyone to assume I was kidnapping you!"

    "What else were they going to do after you broke into a military base only to focus on me?" Lois''s eye was twitching. Yeah, she was annoyed.

    "Not tell me to kidnap you?" I suggested but that only made the twitching worse and decided to switch tracks. "Um, do you want something to drink? Or maybe a snack as an apology? I can''t let you go until Superman shows up and I don''t have somewhere to put you but I have a bunch of stuff from the last time I went out for food¡­"

    Lois stared at me for a few seconds before eventually sighing and making her way over to the stone chair I had carved out of a boulder I liked. "Do you have a cushion for this or something?" She waved a hand at it.

    And while I didn''t, I did keep several pillows and blankets in the Attack Ball she could use instead.

    "Well, if I''m stuck here, do you mind giving an interview?" Lois asked once she was comfortable. "At least that way I''ll get something out of this clusterffffff¨C mess."

    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    Lois took out her notepad and a pen while I thought about it. There wasn''t much of a reason to do an interview but at the same time there wasn''t much of one not to. And it would help pass the time while we waited.

    "Sure, what do you want to know?"

    "Why don''t we start off easy with the Saiyan race. What is your culture like?"

    Oh, that was an easy one. "We''re the greatest warrior race in the galaxy!"

    "Really? What would the Thanagarians say about that?"

    "Who cares? Yeah they''re strong, but a Saiyan is always getting stronger. We don''t need fancy Nth metal weapons to do awesome things, we just use our fists."

    "So Saiyans don''t use tools often?"

    "I mean some of them do?" I replied, thinking of Trunks and his sword or Goku and his Power Pole. "But most of the time we''re stronger than whatever you make the weapon out of. And the strongest of us can blow up a planet with just our Ki, so why bother with a weapon?"

    "That''s¡­not¡­exactly what I had in mind." Lois said hesitantly. "I meant machines or vehicles¡­ Can you really blow up a planet by yourself?!"

    Oh. "I mean we use spaceships, obviously." I said, looking at my Attack Ball. "And I think we have some other stuff on Vegeta to help carry things? Not really sure about that cause I wasn''t allowed to explore a lot before I got a new mission. And for the planet thing, not yet but I''m training really hard! I''ll get there one day!"

    "...I changed my mind, I need a drink." Lois said, and then patiently waited while I got her a bottled water. "You mentioned Vegeta. Is that the name of your homeworld?"

    I nodded. "Yeah, it''s also the name of our King. And the prince actually." I think. I knew we had a king thanks to Old Me''s memories, but Jerk Dad never mentioned his name or if he had a son. But it''s not like Lois had a way to check, right? And unless another Saiyan came after me for some reason, no one was going to correct me.

    "A dynasty name then?" Lois mused. "Is he a good king at least?"

    "No idea!" I chirped. "I''m only a low class and I was constantly sent on missions to prove my strength. I don''t think I''ve spent even a full Earth year on Vegeta. And most of that was either being stuck in a healing pod or fighting my dad."

    "Great. The child alien invader is an abuse victim. Just perfect." Lois muttered, though I don''t think I was supposed to hear that part. "What''s a low class?"

    "It''s how the warriors are split out. You have Low Class, which is most of the normal warriors. Mid Class which is above that, usually that''s the leaders and stuff. And then you have the Saiyan Elite. Those guys are usually born at a certain power level and are like, twenty times stronger than a low class." It was a bit more complicated than that, but talking about classes was boring. It also didn''t help that I was planning on leaving the Elite Class in the dust  eventually, which meant I really didn''t bother remembering the differences between them all that much.

    That wasn''t the end of it though.

    Lois was doing a really good job of asking about all aspects of Saiyan society, and if she had an expert she could have written a book about the ins and outs of our culture. Too bad all she had was me.

    I did my best, but in the end it was just about as effective as asking a normal middle schooler how America worked, who the senators of each state were, and what was the government''s five year plan. My best explanation about how the Saiyan government worked boiled down to; we have a king, the strongest do what they want, and everyone else falls in line.

    My explanation of our economy was actually worse. Did Saiyans have an economy? Was it just a barter system? Were we actually enslaved by the Trade Organization? I had no idea.

    I also made sure to keep the Trade Organization out of our conversation.

    Not out of any loyalty to them or anything. I just didn''t want to answer a billion more questions about an organization I knew nothing about and may or may not exist. I had found the manual for the Attack Ball''s radio and set it to receive only and had gotten nothing on the listed Trade Organization frequencies. It could just mean I was out of range or the radio was broken, it could also mean whatever caused me to crash on Earth had sent me to another dimension and they didn''t exist. Either way, I didn''t want to talk about them.

    She asked about what we tended to eat, and I told her we were Omnivores, capital O, but meat was preferred. She asked if we had schools, and I told her that generally newborns spent a few years in an incubation pod where they learned basic knowledge before getting taught by someone else. Usually an older or retired Saiyan, but not always like in my case where I got to deal with Jerk Dad.

    Lois seemed to get really uncomfortable with the topic for some reason and eventually the questions circled back to what I said about Saiyans. About us being the greatest warrior race in the galaxy.

    "I realize Earth is a bit of a backwater to the rest of the galaxy, but how can you call yourselves the greatest warrior race next to empires like the Thanagarians, Tamaranean, and other martial races? We''ve even heard some stories about Imperial Kryptonians but we''ve never heard about Saiyans before you."

    I shrugged. "Don''t know why you haven''t heard of us, but the reason we''re the greatest is we don''t need tricks like the others. Take away the sun for a Kryptonian or weapons from a Thanagarian and they''re not that tough. But you can''t ever weaken a Saiyan like that."

    "I might be wrong, but I don''t think you can weaken a Tamaranean either and they have a very prestigious warrior culture." Lois pointed out.

    That was fair, and there were probably a ton of other alien races out there that were strong on their own. But¡­

    "They have a limit." I replied smugly. "Saiyans never stop growing stronger as long as we push ourselves. And that''s for normal Saiyans."

    "Normal Saiyans?" Lois asked.

    Ah crap, I didn''t mean to let that slip. Oh well, it''s not like it needed to be a secret. Or the full truth.

    "Yeah, if Saiyans are the greatest warrior race then the Legendary Super Saiyan is the greatest warrior. The best. End of story."

    I thought about the first time I had seen the Namek saga and the lead up to Goku''s transformation.

    Vegeta had thought the Super Saiyan was a being of uncontrollable power and rage. Someone that would literally destroy solar systems because his power was so vast and in some ways he was right. A natural born Super Saiyan like Broly was exactly that, an undirected engine of destruction that few could stand against.

    But that wasn''t the Legendary Super Saiyan in my mind.

    A golden figure standing on a shattered planet. A being that refused to give up no matter what. Someone that never lost not because they were the strongest, but because when they were defeated they would get up, push past their own limits and try again.

    THAT was the legend in my mind. The one I was chasing. The one I would pursue step-by-step until the next time someone talked about the Legendary Super Saiyan? They would be talking about ME.

    -o-

    Lois did her best not to shiver at the look in the tiny alien terror''s eyes when she spoke about her people''s legendary warrior.

    She had met her share of religious people during her job, the kind who just KNOW something is true and would never be persuaded otherwise. That was the same look in Califa''s eyes when she talked about the Super Saiyan. Califa would probably follow such a being into hell if they simply asked.

    Not necessarily a bad thing. But if the other Saiyans were as cruel and destructive as the girl''s answers hinted at, Lois couldn''t imagine what kind of monster a Super Saiyan would be like.

    She really hoped someone was looking for her and got here soon. She had a lot of information Superman and the Justice League would need to know about Califa. Earth had gotten lucky the prepubescent Saiyan conqueror had a pretty good heart despite the childhood she had. They might not be so lucky with the next Saiyan.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 22

    ¡°So how long do you think it will take before Superman comes to get you?¡± I asked during one of the breaks Lois asked for so she could organize her notes.

    The reporter just paused her writing and raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°How would I know? It¡¯s not like I have a way of calling him.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± I asked, genuinely surprised. I thought she would. ¡°What about something that lets him track you? Or Batman track you, I guess. I¡¯m sure he would help out Superman if the jerk needed it.¡±

    ¡°Why would I have something like that? Besides, I was forced to leave all electronic devices at the security gate back on the base.¡±

    ¡°So how is he supposed to know where to come get you?!¡± This was such a bad idea. I should never have listened to photo guy about kidnapping his boss.

    ¡°You tell me. I¡¯m the victim here, remember?¡±

    I ignored the annoyed reporter and thought over what this meant. No signal and nothing for Batman to magically track meant it could be days before someone came to pick up Lois. Days that I would have to put up with her asking questions about every little thing she could think of and I would have to listen to because I couldn¡¯t leave her to go train without risking her crossing a bear or something.

    Yeah, that wasn¡¯t happening. Time for Improvised Kidnapping Plan B.

    ¡°Hey Lois! Wanna go on a trip?¡±

    -o-

    A few hours of flying later the two of us touched down in the first major city I could find. I would have liked to head to a city I recognized or even back to Metropolis, but flying with Lois screaming in my ear that I was going too fast got old real quick so I just picked one close by.

    Then, after dropping Lois off on a rooftop, I looked down at the humans rushing around on the ground. It was time to begin the next phase of my plan.

    My Plan B was basically the exact opposite of Plan A. If going to the middle of nowhere and waiting for Superman to come to me wasn¡¯t going to work, I would just have to make myself so noticeable people would send him to me instead. And what better way to get his attention than making the government be the ones screaming at him to do something?

    ¡°Attention government agency goons!¡± I called down to the black and yellow outfitted group trying to both guard a perimeter and break back into a lab that looked like it had been attacked by another villain. Though points to them for bringing fancier looking guns than normal. ¡°I¡¯m here to challenge your Champions for the fate of the planet again! Call out Superman!¡±

    ¡°Uh, Califa. I don¡¯t think those people work for the government.¡± Lois commented before ducking away from the edge of the building.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I think that¡¯s a H.I.V.E. logo on the van, they¡¯re a¨C¡± Lois was cut off as the goons down below started shooting at me.

    So not government agents according to Lois. Why did H.I.V.E. sound familiar? Were they like the Metropolis special police or the Star Labs security teams? Or some kind of discount SHIELD that I forgot about? Meh, as long as they called Superman I didn¡¯t really care.

    A blue laserbeam missed me by inches and I decided to give the goons my full attention.

    I shot a ki beam into one of the SUV¡¯s the goons were hiding behind ¨C turning it into a burning wreck of twisted metal ¨C and sent them scurrying for cover and then very obviously toying with them by shooting several weaker beams that barely dented the other forms of cover they were using.

    Despite being fancier, most of the guns I could safely ignore. Sure bullets stung a bit when they hit me and really scuffed up my armor pretty good, but I would take those every time rather than the unknown laserguns they had with them. Something that was quickly picked up on by the humans down below and eventually we were in a fun game of tag where they would try to herd me into position with the more standard guns before trying to hit me with the laserguns while I did my best to dodge.

    That didn¡¯t mean I was just going to let them shoot at me though, that would get boring fast. So every five laser shots they missed I would blow up one of the cars. Cars they were quickly running out of given how trigger-happy some of them were. If Superman didn¡¯t show up soon, the goons were going to have to walk back to whatever base they called home.

    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    ¡°Come-on guys! Either step up your game or get someone who can keep up! This is getting embare¨C Ack!¡± My snarky banter is interrupted by an SUV smacking me in the face. Considering I was still hovering over twenty feet in the air that could only mean one thing.

    Someone fun had just shown up.

    ¡°Better! Now you¡¯re getting it!¡± I exclaimed as I shoved the car off of me and looked where it had come from, eager to see who showed up.

    It was a giant man walking out of the lab followed by another squad in the same black and yellow colors as the goons but missing the chest armor and the sleeves on the upper part to let the man¡¯s ridiculously huge muscled arms move freely. He was also missing the almost insectile helmets I had seen on the others too, showing off his wild red hair.

    I approved. He almost looked like a Saiyan with that outfit. He was missing the tail though, so no chance of that.

    ¡°This runt is the one giving you so much trouble?¡± He growled, making the goons flinch.

    ¡°Mammoth, sir¡­¡±

    ¡°Shut up. We have what we came for. I¡¯ll deal with the brat.¡±

    Mammoth, huh? The name was familiar and I kinda remembered him being part of a team¡­ the something five? So a Fantastic Four stand-in?

    Although if he was here with just some goons then I guess the team hadn¡¯t formed yet.

    Meh, I¡¯ll think about that later. For now¡­

    ¡°¡®Deal with me¡¯, huh? You¡¯re pretty cocky. Hope you¡¯re a good enough warm up for when Superman gets here.¡± I smirked at the giant and kicked off the ground before Mammoth could say anything else.

    I wasn¡¯t expecting someone looking like him to be a fast opponent, but the muscular giant was quicker than I expected. He snapped up one arm just in time to use his forearm as a shield and the only reaction I got was a small grunt.

    I felt the muscles in his arm tense and kicked away from him before he could retaliate. And even then the wind pressure from his backhanded swing blew my hair back.

    Okay, quick, but probably not fast, and very strong. How durable was he though?

    The second my feet hit the pavement again I rushed him. Mammoth was again quick enough to raise his arms in defense when I went for his face, but he seemed content to let my slowly strengthening punches and kicks rain down on him.

    ¡°That tickles.¡± He grunted, and that was the only warning I got before he tried slapping at me again. I jumped over it and using his arm as a springboard, kicked him in the face.

    ¡°Yeah?! How bout that one?¡±

    ¡°Grrrr.¡±

    Mammoth didn¡¯t verbally respond beyond growling and charging me in turn. I lightly jumped backwards as he repeatedly attempted to use his massive fists to hammer me into the pavement, taunting him the whole way and dishing out some counterattacks that didn¡¯t phase him much, only for him to snag another SUV as we passed by and use it as a baseball bat to smash me into another car and then through a building.

    ¡°Okay, I probably deserved that.¡± I mumbled, pushing myself out of the wreckage. ¡°But that means no more holding back!¡±

    My Ki aura flared a pale white as I powered up and I shot out of the ruined building and straight into Mammoth¡¯s stomach. This time my punch folded him in half and sent him flying into the second or third story of the building across the street.

    I didn¡¯t even get time to grin before the few goons hanging around opened up on me again. And this time I was just annoyed by it.

    ¡°Take a hint already and get lost!¡± I snapped and fired off several Ki beams. This time I wasn¡¯t playing around and exploded all the cars I hit. That was enough to finally send all of them scurrying away.

    Seriously, didn¡¯t they figure out I was just playing with them earlier?!

    The slight distraction was enough for Mammoth to jump back down to street level and glare at me. From the look of it my punch might have hurt, but it didn¡¯t seem to have done much damage.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to crush you for that.¡±

    I rolled my eyes. There was no point in a warmup getting so dramatic.

    Mammoth didn¡¯t like that though and smashed both hands to the ground causing a shockwave that knocked me off balance long enough for him to get close enough that he was in punching range. And considering he was like three feet taller than I was, it meant he was able to punch at me while I still had to get closer to do anything.

    We traded punches as the fight moved down the street, the occasional car or light post getting used as an improvised weapon, and I realized eventually that Mammoth was wearing me down faster than I was doing to him. And by that I mean I missed blocking a punch and winced when I felt a bone in my arm crack under the pressure.

    Arm hanging uselessly to not aggravate it, I switched things up so I was flying around the giant faster than he could track and occasionally knocking him around with a Ki blast. I didn¡¯t bother with those too much though, because the standard blasts only seemed to push him around and make him mad.

    ¡°That¡¯s it you annoying little fly! I¡¯ve had enough of you!¡± Mammoth raged after I got inside his guard and blasted him in the face, also incidentally proving my point.

    The red-headed giant lifted his foot and brought it down on the cracked and cratered streets with enough force to cause a localized earthquake. From the savage smirk on his face, he was pretty confident this move was going to deal with me.

    I looked around at the devastated surroundings and had to admit it was pretty impressive. There was just one teensy tiny problem¡­

    ¡°So, uh, you know that didn¡¯t do anything right?¡± I asked hesitantly. ¡°Cause I¡¯m flying right now?¡±

    Going by the way his smirk collapsed, no, no he hadn¡¯t realized that.

    Mammoth was kind of a moron wasn¡¯t he?

    Oh well, like I said he was only a warmup. I should probably try to end this now.

    My Ki flared even higher and I sped past his guard again. This time I landed an uppercut that lifted him a couple inches off the ground but I wasn¡¯t done. Before he could react, I twisted midair into a kick that broke his nose and sent him flying down the street. Naturally I flew after him and spun into an ax-kick, slamming him headfirst into the pavement and leaving me hovering just over the resulting crater, a Ki attack charging in my hand.

    Mammoth groaned, still not actually unconscious, and looked up at me with a dazed expression.

    I grinned down at him. ¡°Smile for the birdy!¡± And unleashed my attack.

    Once the smoke cleared I saw Mammoth was finally out for the count and in no shape to keep fighting.

    With that out of the way I flew back up to the rooftop I left Lois at and waved at her. ¡°So, government agency dealt with. Their superhero backup is taking a nap for a while. And the guy who attacked the building before we got here is probably going to get away. You think that¡¯s enough to get Superman¡¯s attention soon?¡±

    Lois gave me a long look before she started rubbing at her forehead. ¡°If you had listened earlier I would have told you those were H.I.V.E. agents. They¡¯re a terrorist group, not someone working for the government. They were the ones attacking the lab.¡±

    I froze.

    ¡°So they were villains?¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes they were. And while I¡¯m sure someone will be glad you stopped them, did you have to destroy a city block in the process?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not supposed to stop villains!¡± I protested. ¡°I¡¯m supposed to be beating the heroes and taking over the world!¡± I slouched in midair, even my tail drooping down. ¡°Do you at least think this got Superman¡¯s attention?¡±

    Despite looking like she had a headache, Lois looked at something behind me and smirked. ¡°I think you got a little more than that, kid.¡±

    I turned.

    Flying silently a little above me with his arms crossed in front of his chest was Superman.

    ¡­Along with Wonder Woman just off to the right of him.

    ¡­¡­Aaand Green Lantern just off to his left.

    This¡­this wasn¡¯t part of the plan¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 23

    My current situation sounded like the beginnings of a bad joke.

    A Kryptonian, a Demigoddess, and a Super Space Cop vs a pre-teen one-armed monkey girl. Who would win?

    Obviously not the monkey girl. Anyone who thought otherwise was lying to themselves.

    Well, I guess that also depended on exactly which pre-teen monkey girl you were talking about. There were probably a few out there that could pull off a win, but I knew for certain I couldn''t. Not at my level, anyway.

    Was I a bit bitter? Yes, yes I was.

    Because unlike all other times I got in over my head, there was no winning this one. Or even ''winning'' like the last few times. No, this was an instant Go to Jail card. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

    Maybe literally actually. I did just attack the army yesterday and just helped demolish a good section of a city block. Someone was probably pissed about that.

    Although¡­escaping from a superjail did sound kinda interesting- No! Stay focused! Think of plans to break out of a jail when I wasn''t being stared down by three superheroes that could beat me with one arm tied behind their back.

    One-on-one I could potentially do something unless they got serious, but against all three? Unless I got insanely lucky, yeah, it wasn''t happening.

    Was this what it was like to be Vegeta? Where you beat one guy and feel all good about yourself, only for a bunch of people stronger to instantly pop up and you have no chance of winning?

    Cause if this is what it feels like to be him I completely understand why he was so pissed off all the time.

    Still, that didn''t mean I was just going to just give up. I just had to buy myself some time by doing what I''ve been doing since I landed in Metropolis.

    Take refuge in audacity.

    "Hey guys! Wha-"

    "Are you alright, child? I''m sorry we didn''t arrive before the end of the fight. You seem wounded, do you need to see a healer?" And Wonder Woman cut me off before I could begin.

    Here I was desperately trying to figure out how to get one over three opponents I had no chance of beating and yet Wonder Woman just saw an injured child that had just finished fighting what I now knew was a villain and wanted to make sure she was okay. I wasn''t even a threat she needed to be wary of right now.

    ¡­Ouch, my pride¡­

    I deflated midair, even my tail drooping down despondently.

    "...yeah, my arm is broken." I most certainly did not pout. "...The shoulder might also be dislocated." cause now that the adrenaline was wearing off I realized I couldn''t move it very well.

    "Well your shoulder is definitely dislocated, but it looks like you only cracked the bone." Superman spoke up, and I realized he must have checked it out with his x-ray vision. "Why don''t we get that looked at while we talk. We actually needed to-"

    "HEY! Before you go off and do your superhero stuff, can one of you get me off this roof?!" Lois yelled at us. As if the heroes didn''t already notice her.

    "Lois?! What are you doing here?!"

    I turned and stared at a visibly surprised Superman. Did¡­did he really not notice her?

    "That gremlin decided to kidnap me!"

    "Kidnap you? What for?!" "Wh-wha?!" Wonder Woman and Superman made questioning sounds at Lois''s revelation. Green Lantern, on the other hand, was a bit more calm about the whole thing.

    "Why don''t we all head down to the streets and get the girl''s injuries looked at. Then we can talk." He stated reasonably.

    -o-

    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

    Watching the three heroes help with the aftermath of my fight was interesting.

    Batman never hung around the scene longer than to make sure the police showed up and the bad guy was in cuffs. And he certainly never talked to anyone unless he had to.

    Flash was kinda the opposite of that. He would happily chat with the responders, the bystanders, and even the guys he caught for as long as they wanted. It was a good thing he was so stupidly fast. He''d never get anything else done otherwise.

    Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern didn''t work like that.

    Green Lantern sternly moved from place to place using his ring to move piles of rubble, clear paths, and shuffle people around as needed. And while he did talk to people, he seemed to say as little as possible to explain what he was doing and preferred talking to the responders.

    Superman, after he made sure no one was trapped by the rubble, was hanging out by the ambulances. Either assisting the EMT''s with his supervision or simply calming people down.

    And while those two had handled the cleanup, Wonder Woman took me to get my arm looked at and helped reset my shoulder before she moved away to deal with the reporters that seemed to have crawled out of the walls considering how many there were.

    At least she was until I tried slipping away. I got maybe twenty feet away before I was dragged back by my tail - not literally, she actually used her lasso - Then she turned herself into my personal babysitter while answering a few more questions from the crowd.

    Lois looked far too smug about the whole thing.

    Anyway, once things got to a point the regular professionals could handle the rest, the three heroes grabbed me and Lois and moved us to a fairly deserted park so we could talk like they wanted.

    "So what are you doing here, Lois?" Superman began. "And what was that about a kidnapping?"

    "I was in Nevada for a demonstration when this one-" Lois took advantage of the fact I was still tied up to pat me on the head and ruffle my hair.

    I glared at her. "I''ll bite¡­"

    "-decided to invade the base looking for me and a way to get in contact with you." She said, looking at Superman and completely ignoring my threat. "No one thought the little gremlin would do all that just to ask a question, so we all assumed I was the target. Jimmy made a mis-timed statement and I got taken on an unexpected flight as a result." She scowled at me for the last part and then went on to explain exactly what happened at the military base.

    I was unrepentant. Yes, it was stupid to kidnap her when I wasn''t prepared to. No, I would not apologize.

    "...I had no idea¡­" Superman sounded stunned. I had no idea why. I doubted anyone in charge of the army would''ve been happy admitting losing to a single alien and probably kept the whole thing a secret. And without someone telling him, how was he supposed to know?

    Wait, didn''t that make my plan even stupider?! They must never know¡­

    While I was shoving the memories of my kidnapping plan into the deepest darkest hole I could (telepaths are a thing!) Superman and Lois went back and forth a bit about getting her something to immediately let him know if something like that happened again with Lois vehemently refusing to ''wear a leash'' because the world could be dangerous.

    Thankfully, the other two heroes stepped in before things could get too awkward and brought up the reason the three of them were here in the first place. They needed to talk to me.

    "Sure, I guess. What do you need? And could someone untie me?" I asked reasonably, but was ignored.

    "Two things really." Green Lantern said. "We finally got word back from Lantern Jordan a little while ago. He''s on Oa because when he asked about your species he ran into an information block."

    "Okay?" I was confused and more than a little surprised. The Lanterns knew about other Saiyans? There was an info block on us?

    "I won''t bore you with too many of the details," Hey, hold on! I wanted those details! "But we discovered the sector your people live in is actually under a severe quarantine after they almost depopulated five sectors and basically declared war on the universe. No one in or out without good reason. Of course we miss a few now and then, but they are usually found quickly and written off as pirates so we don''t have another sector wide war on our hands. Which made us wonder how you got all the way to Earth with no one noticing. Lantern Gardner backtracked your pod''s trail and found traces of Bleed radiation." Green Lantern loomed over me. "What we need to know is; do the Saiyans have access to Bleed tech? Can your pod open a portal?"

    "Not that I know of, and my pod uses a gravitic engine." I replied immediately, which surprised me. Until I glanced down and remembered what I was wrapped in.

    The Lasso of Truth¡­Ah.

    "Were you the only one sent out for your mission? Is anyone waiting to hear from you?"

    "I was the only one sent to this planet but I was just one of a bunch of us being sent out all at once." I said and even though I really wanted to stop there, my mouth kept moving. "And no, Saiyans sent out on suicide missions don''t have anyone listening for them. We either complete the mission or are forgotten about."

    "Suicide missions?!" Thankfully, Superman''s outburst was taken as a rhetorical statement so I didn''t have to answer him. The heroes shared another round of glances before Green Lantern finally nodded and backed away. Wonder Woman waved her hand and the lasso magically loosened and fell away.

    I quickly hopped away from the magic rope and made a note to do everything I could to avoid getting caught by it again.

    "So was that it?"

    "No, that was just the first thing." Wonder Woman said apologetically. "The second, which seems even more necessary after hearing about your latest stunt and your mission, is that we need to do something about your law breaking."

    Oh, crap. Was I actually going to go to prison?!

    "There was no real way to properly deal with you before the formation of the League since very few heroes could give you an environment to help you integrate with Earth, but we believe that''s changed. Between myself, Manhunter, and the other members of the League when time allows them, we can teach you more about Man''s World¡­if you will let us."

    So not prison. But were they seriously asking what I think they were?

    "Are¡­are you asking me to be your sidekick?!"

    "No, but since it would be a mistake to try sending you back to your sector we are hoping to help make Earth your new home." Superman explained. "And none of us think the normal programs will work for you."

    "I''ve been training with Batman and Flash¡­" I tried objecting, but was quickly overruled by Wonder Woman.

    "Yes, you have been training," She emphasized. "But both of them agree that''s not enough for a childhood or healthy mental development."

    I scoffed. "I''ve been doing fine so far."

    "Picking a fight with the Army and getting pressured into kidnapping doesn''t sound fine to me." Green Lantern grumbled and I tried not to blush.

    "You don''t have to be a villain, Califa." Wonder Woman continued. "Come with me to Themyscira. Give up the mission you were sent on and we can teach you to be better than that¡­"

    I had to stop myself from laughing at that. It was hilarious that they thought I cared about my ''mission'' for as long as they did. Especially because the Green Lanterns should have been able to tell I made the whole thing up by now if they had records of other Saiyans.

    Other than that, I was actually a little torn about the offer.

    On the one hand, I really liked running around doing my own thing and occasionally dropping in to find a sparring partner somewhere. I''d probably be giving up a lot of my ability to do things like that. But since the formation of the Justice League it wasn''t guaranteed that a hero would be in any one city anymore and most of the villains were still in hiding. Not to mention training on my own was getting boring.

    On the other hand, I''d get to visit a magical island filled with immortal warrior women that have been training for dozens of years at least. Themyscira was also one of two places I wanted to explore the most, with the other being Atlantis, even if I did have to listen to their rules or get kicked off.

    ¡­Which meant if I got bored of Themyscira I could make them let me leave at any time¡­

    I guess I wasn''t all that torn about an answer after all.

    "Okay then. When do we leave?"

 Growing Pains - Chapter 24

    ¡°So you¡¯re going to be training with the Amazons?¡± Robin asked from his perch.

    Stupid birdbrain always seemed to be trying to get above me whenever he could.

    ¡°For a bit. Seems like it will be fun.¡± I replied as I swiped one of Kid Flash¡¯s nuggets.

    ¡°Hey!¡±

    Heh ¡°Too slow.¡±

    Apparently there were still some things Wonder Woman needed to take care of before we could leave, but I didn¡¯t really want to sit and do nothing until that happened. So I snuck off at the first opportunity to pester Flash into another race after a quick detour. Too bad for me he was busy somewhere else.

    I did find the Sidekick Squad instead so it wasn¡¯t all that bad.

    I dealt with Birdbrain enough to tolerate him and Kid Flash was just a less cool Flash. Aqualad was a new addition since the king of Atlantis joined the Justice League, but he was quiet enough that sometimes I barely noticed him.

    I could¡¯ve done without Speedy being there, though.

    He was a hot headed idiot.

    ¡°I guess that means we won¡¯t need to put up with you for a while.¡± Robin had an edge in his voice I couldn¡¯t quite place. ¡°It¡¯ll be nice to get back to one on one training without you slowing me down going over the basics.¡±

    What was that!?

    ¡°Better train fast then. Cause when I come to visit I plan to kick your ass across the city!¡± I bristled.

    ¡°Come to visit?¡±

    ¡°What, gonna say I can¡¯t?¡± I scoffed. ¡°You don¡¯t own Gotham. Even if you did, I don¡¯t have to listen to your stupid human rules.¡±

    ¡°I think Robin was just confused that you mentioned returning.¡± Aqualad cut in. ¡°If Themyscira is anything like Atlantis, travel to the outside world is difficult. You made it sound like you would be gone for years.¡±

    I rolled my eyes at him. ¡°If you can¡¯t fly, maybe. For me it¡¯s just getting on and off the island and then flying for a couple hours.¡±

    ¡°Hear that, Robin?.¡± Speedy laughed annoyingly. ¡°Your girlfriend is saying she¡¯ll still come to visit.¡±

    He looked between us and pouted when neither of us had much of a reaction.

    ¡°Nothing? Seriously?¡±

    Robin shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m eleven.¡± He said like that explained everything. Which it kinda did.

    I, on the other hand, saw a perfect opportunity to mess with the archer.

    ¡°Was that supposed to be funny somehow? What¡¯s a girlfriend?¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Speedy trailed off, but I wasn¡¯t the only one that smelled blood in the water.

    ¡°Yeah, Speedy. Explain to the class what a girlfriend is.¡± Kid Flash jumped in.

    ¡°Something you¡¯ll never have, KF.¡±

    I grinned and sat back to enjoy watching the sparks fly as the two redheads started trading insults, which eventually spread to include Birdbrain because he couldn¡¯t control his mouth and Aqualad futilely trying to calm things down.

    Unity among the heroes was broken, chaos reigned, and I was victorious. All was right with the world.

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    At least for a little, until the boys decided to call a temporary ceasefire to keep pestering me about what I would be doing. Not that I had a whole lot to give them.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll be doing!¡± I threw my hands in the air after they started rapid firing questions. ¡°They didn¡¯t give me a list or anything!¡±

    ¡°Heh, the struggle of sidekicks continues.¡± Speedy laughed. ¡°Guess you aren¡¯t immune to the mushroom treatment either.¡±

    ¡°Mushroom treatment?¡± Kaldur asked. He was pretty good with surface expressions, but every once in a while he got stumped. I guess that one didn¡¯t translate well.

    ¡°Being kept in the dark and fed bullcrap.¡± Kid Flash explained and then frowned at the archer. ¡°And you really think our mentors do that?¡±

    ¡°Nah, but it feels that way sometimes.¡± Speedy waved him off. ¡°I¡¯m sure the monkey will learn.¡±

    Okay, I needed to stop a misunderstanding.

    ¡°You guys know I¡¯m not gonna be a sidekick, right?¡± I stated bluntly, and based on the surprised expressions on all of them, no, no they didn¡¯t know that.

    ¡°Huh? I thought you said Wonder Woman was going to be training you?¡± Kid Flash looked at me in shock.

    ¡°Yeah, so? That doesn¡¯t mean I have to be a hero.¡±

    ¡°I do not believe Wonder Woman or the League would allow you to continue any criminal activities either.¡± Aqualad pointed out.

    I slumped at that. ¡°Yeah probably not. It was bad enough when I just had Batman¡¯s rules, but since I can¡¯t just have fun after tomorrow ¨C¡±

    Robin rolled his eyes. ¡°You only listened to half of those anyway.¡±

    I rolled mine right back. He was just jealous. ¡°¨C I decided to end tonight with a bang! A classic crime any self respecting villain has pulled off at least once, a jewel heist!¡±

    The kiddie heroes all stiffened and looked at me.

    ¡°...You know¡­we can¡¯t just¡­let you rob a store, right?¡± Kid Flash said slowly.

    ¡°You¡¯d be pretty bad heroes if you did.¡± I agreed.

    ¡°And now that you admitted to planning a crime, we aren¡¯t going to just let you take off.¡± Speedy adjusted the grip on his bow.

    ¡°I mean, you can¡¯t stop me from just flying away.¡± A smirk split my face.

    Kadur stood and pulled out the hilts to his magic water weapon things. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have told us your plans if you were just going to run away. You want us to try and stop you.¡±

    I tried to reign in the feelings of excitement and started shaking out my arms and legs. ¡°If you want a handicap I can stay on the ground. No way you could stop me though.¡±

    ¡°Four v one, Cali¡¯.¡± Kid Flash pointed out. ¡°Pretty good odds, I¡¯d say.¡±

    My grin widened and Robin groaned.

    ¡°You already stole something, didn¡¯t you? Stupid monkey.¡± Batman really was an amazing teacher. He even managed to get Birdbrain to stop being completely stupid.

    I pulled a clear gem the size of my fist from behind my back and waved it tauntingly. ¡°Yep. And not one of you noticed. Better luck next time!¡±

    Then ¨C just because I could ¨C I backflipped off the roof and cackled the whole way down as I listened to them scramble to chase after me.

    -o-

    ¡°Well the kids are getting along. I was worried news of Califa going to Themyscira would make some of them pull away.¡± Superman commented as they watched the quartet of sidekicks chase after the Saiyan girl.

    ¡°She has a way of pulling you into her pace. Once she got them to sit down and talk it was unlikely any of them could ignore her.¡± Batman pointed out. ¡°And I¡¯ve never seen her hold much of a grudge for long. Makes me wonder what you did that she dislikes you so much.¡±

    ¡°Ahem¡­er, yeah¡­who knows?¡± Superman coughed and deliberately turned away.

    ¡°It¡¯s good for her to have ties to others her age.¡± Wonder Woman commented. ¡°The main point of taking her under our wing was to give her a safe place to learn to integrate with Man¡¯s World. Not isolate her on Themyscira.¡±

    That was something that had worried all three heroes.

    Califa wasn¡¯t the kind of person to stay in one place for very long. Her jaunts across North America made that obvious. And while she had met and somewhat befriended several heroes in that time, she had also made contact with criminal organizations that wouldn¡¯t hesitate to take advantage of her thrill-seeking personality for their own gain, as seen by her involvement with an underground fight ring.

    Batman had already confirmed Lex Luthor was interested in the young Saiyan. And if Luthor was involved that no doubt meant several others were looking to exploit the girl as well.

    Some of which might be attached to various governments.

    Even though the US Army had tried to keep the incident quiet, many other organizations had heard about the destroyed prototype. A few people were using that incident to secure more funding for their own projects while others were using it to call for harsher responses to alien threats.

    Not to mention that several news outlets were starting to float anti-alien rhetoric as fronts for groups like Humanity First, CADMUS, Blue Cosmos, and others like them. It was lucky that Califa had almost immediately taken down a H.I.V.E. cell which took a lot of wind out of the sails of many of the more aggressive of them, but it still highlighted the need to teach the Saiyan at least how to identify the common sense others expected from her.

    ¡°Your mother didn¡¯t have an issue with allowing Califa to leave the island?¡± Batman already knew the answer, but Themyscira had been heavily isolationist for hundreds of years. It didn¡¯t hurt to clarify.

    Wonder Woman shook her head. ¡°Mother has decided we cannot shut ourselves away from the rest of the world anymore. I doubt many of my sisters will be interested in leaving for quite some time but Califa will be free to come and go¡­provided she listens to her teachers, of course.¡±

    Considering the martial nature of the Amazons, Califa would either be the best student they ever had or would be too busy challenging her teachers to fights to learn anything.

    ¡°Well, give me a heads up when she does leave. It¡¯ll be nice to have some warning before she demands a rematch for once.¡± Superman joked before looking back in the direction of the kids. ¡°Though, don¡¯t you think we should step in? A jewelry heist right before she leaves won¡¯t be a good look.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fake.¡± Batman said bluntly, pulling out a small screen. On it was footage from a security camera at a themed mini-golf course, large glass decorations made to look like gemstones dotted the walls. Suddenly a familiar monkey tailed girl entered the frame and plucked one of the decorations out of the wall before flying off. ¡°I¡¯ll take care of the damages.¡±

    ¡°Oh, alright then.¡±

    Wonder Woman frowned. ¡°Are you sure? Even if the gem is fake, Califa doesn¡¯t have much regard for property damage. It could get out of hand.¡±

    ¡°Califa tends to limit herself to match whoever she is fighting.¡± Batman disagreed. ¡°As long as the sidekicks control themselves there won¡¯t be an issue.¡±

    Superman nodded. ¡°You¡¯re right. They¡¯re young, but all of them have a good head on their shoulders. Maybe we¨C¡±

    At that precise moment, several explosions rang out in the background.

    The three heroes exchanged looks. Batman silently turned on a heel and power walked towards the edge of the building, pulling a grapple gun on the way.

    ¡°On second thought, they are all children. We should check on them and make sure they don¡¯t level the city.¡±

    Superman and Wonder Woman chuckled, but rushed after the Caped Crusader just the same.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 25

    I was kinda surprised that Wonder Woman insisted on using a plane to fly to Themyscira rather than just flying ourselves, but once we started passing through the magical hurricane barrier that separated the island from the rest of the world I fully understood why.

    Flying through rain sucked.

    Flying through magical rain for over twenty minutes would have been terrible. Even if it didn¡¯t do anything it would have been cold, wet, and annoying.

    Putting the hull of the VTOL plane thing Batman loaned us while I demolished investigated the snack cabinet was a much better way to travel.

    It also meant that we would be meeting the small welcome party without being soaking wet, which was nice.

    The ramp dropped and Wonder Woman and I made our way off the ship while one of the Amazons walked forward with her arms spread open.

    ¡°Diana! Welcome home, daughter. I hope the journey was a pleasant one?¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Mother. And yes, but it¡¯s good to be home.¡± Wonder Woman replied, stepping into the hug.

    While those two were talking, I took the chance to look around at the surroundings. Which were pretty much what I expected for an isolated tropical island. Clean, white beaches, crystal clear ocean, and a thick forest that blocked the rest of the island from view. Pretty, but not what I was interested in.

    No, my focus was on the six Amazons that had been waiting with Wonder Woman¡¯s mom ¨C Wonder Mom? Probably shouldn¡¯t say that out loud though ¨C that were either looking at the surroundings, watching me, or glancing at the hugging pair.

    They didn¡¯t exactly look like I was expecting. The armor they had on was more similar to Wonder Woman¡¯s outfit than the classical Greek stuff I had seen. A lot less metal protection than I was expecting, though maybe they didn¡¯t need it?

    ¡°...but enough of that for now, we are being rude to our guest.¡± Wonder Mom interrupted my thoughts and walked over to me. ¡°Welcome to Themyscira, Califa of the Saiyans. I am Queen Hippolyta.¡± Despite looking like Wonder Woman¡¯s older sister, Wonder Mom really nailed the mom tone. Calm, patient, and just the slightest hint of an iron will of control hiding under the surface¡­she was pretty cool.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are itching to explore the island and meet your teachers,¡± She continued, ¡°but first I would like to learn more about you and the circumstances regarding your stay on my island. To that end we¡¯ve prepared a feast¡­¡±

    Her welcoming speech was interrupted when my stomach decided to announce itself. Loudly.

    ¡°Hehe, sorry.¡± I awkwardly rubbed at my traitorous midsection. ¡°I¡¯m still a little hungry.¡±

    ¡°How? You ate enough emergency rations for three people on the flight over.¡± Wonder Woman muttered, drawing some interested looks from the guards.

    The Queen just smiled. ¡°Well then, let¡¯s not waste time. We can continue our discussion after we eat.¡±

    -o-

    I had to give the Amazons one thing, their cooks certainly knew what they were doing.

    The goat was soft and juicy and the sauce matched it perfectly. I needed some more of that. The bread was nice and fluffy with a crunchy exterior and a bunch of things baked into it that made it more interesting than just being flour. There was some kind of leaf thing that was stuffed with meat that was pretty tasty, too small though. I had to eat two or three at a time to really enjoy them. But that was fine, it went really well with a salad that was basically just rough cut veggies and cheese. Good cheese too. Though it didn¡¯t mix super well with the fish thing they brought out. Oooh, they had a lamb dish too. And a whole cow! Man, I should have come to Themyscira earlier, they really knew how to welcome someone!

    And the food just kept coming!

    ¡°Dear Gods, where does she even put it all?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea, her stomach is like a bottomless pit!¡±

    ¡°Does she have no manners at all?!¡±

    ¡°I hope the kitchens can keep up with her¡­¡±

    ¡°Stop standing around and get the next course!¡±

    There was some muttering from where some of the servants were huddling but I wasn¡¯t really paying attention to them. Unless they decided to talk to me directly I was just going to focus on my food.

    ¡°Ah, ahem, Califa¡­¡±

    Though I should probably listen to what Wonder Mom wanted.

    ¡°...I take it you are enjoying the food?¡±

    ¡°Mhmm!¡± I energetically nodded before making sure to swallow everything. ¡°It¡¯s really good! It¡¯s like when I eat with the Flash, but this stuff is way better.¡±

    She smiled while Wonder Woman was mumbling something next to her, looking annoyed. ¡°I¡¯m glad, but perhaps we should have that discussion now. I¡¯d planned to have it after you finished but,¡± her eyes shifted to the pile of empty plates next to me that was slowly being taken away by a servant, ¡°I think we might be waiting longer than anticipated if we did that.¡±

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    ¡°Sure?¡± I shrugged, it didn¡¯t really matter to me one way or the other. I just went back to picking at the food in front of me.

    The queen nodded. ¡°Has my daughter explained what you will be doing here yet?¡±

    ¡°Not really? She mentioned learning how to fit in on Earth better but that was kinda it.¡±

    ¡°That will be one aspect of your time, but you will also be learning from us about several subjects. History, Mathematics, Languages just to name a few as well as continuing your martial training since Diana mentioned you were studying under a mentor before.¡±

    I groaned.

    School. Wonder Woman tricked me into going to a magical island just for school! First Superman, now her. Was the entire Justice League just filled with people that were secretly evil?

    I better keep a real close eye on Batman. Things usually get really bad when he turns evil.

    -o-

    The next few days were torture as all my new teachers tried to find out where I stood in their respective subject.

    Some of them, like math oddly enough and a few sciences, weren¡¯t terrible because one or both sets of memories remembered enough to get by or the information was burned into my brain by either a Saiyan gestation pod or the public school system.

    I might not know how to calculate the derivative of X, but mitochondria was the powerhouse of a cell!

    None of that mattered though because it was finally time for the one class I was actually excited to attend.

    Combat class.

    I was actually excited enough that I was already in the open-aired ¡®classroom¡¯ already changed into the new outfit the Amazons gave me (basically the same thing everyone else was wearing, but smaller) without anyone needing to drag me there. And I was actually early for once because no one was there to meet me.

    Oh well, might as well get some stretches done.

    ¡­

    Alright this is getting boring, where the heck is she?!

    ¡­

    Another few minutes pass by before the dark haired Amazon I assume is my teacher finally decided to show up, looking both surprised and annoyed that I was still here.

    Well guess what, the feeling is mutual.

    ¡°You¡¯re still here¡­ well I suppose I should at least introduce myself.¡± The Amazon sighed. ¡°I am Melanippe, and I have nothing to teach an outsider like you. Now leave.¡±

    ¡­what? No seriously, what?!

    She couldn¡¯t do that!

    I put up with all the boring stuff just for this class, she couldn¡¯t just tell me to leave and expect me to listen.

    ¡°Your queen said you had to.¡±

    ¡°My queen is so twisted around her daughter¡¯s finger that she is blinded to the fact that interacting with the outside world will just lead us to ruin.¡± Melanippe snorted. ¡°I spent years training Diana to be a protector for this island. Not for her to abandon her duties and run around playing¡­what were they called? Ah, yes, superhero with a bunch of savages.¡±

    Oh great, Meli-, Melana-...Mel was the same person to train Wonder Woman. Yeah, I wasn¡¯t going to let her dangle that bit of information in front of me and then just walk away.

    ¡°Okay, then how bout a bet?¡± I pointed at the circular ring not too far from us. ¡°First one to knock the other out of that ring wins. I win, you have to teach me. You win, and I¡¯ll leave the island.¡±

    Mel raised an eyebrow. ¡°You expect me to fall for such a cheap trick? Why would I bother when I told you I have no intention of teaching you anything?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I mean, if Wonder Woman had to leave just to find something better to do you can¡¯t be all that good. But Wonder Mom has been pretty nice so I figured I¡¯d give you a chance to not be a weakling before I go find someone worth my time. Maybe I could see if Atlantis has anyone decent?¡±

    ¡°...this will be worth it just to beat some manners into you.¡± Mel growled before walking over to the ring. I didn¡¯t waste time flying over across from her.

    ¡°Begin.¡±

    There was no countdown, no tell that she was going to move. It was only by instinct and luck that I managed to dodge her first attack and then start blocking the next.

    Not that I managed it that well. Mel was like a slightly stronger, faster Batman. Definitely superhuman, but not by a huge amount. But she made up for that with pure skill. She knew exactly how to move to control the pace of the fight, and she wanted it to end fast but also to make it hurt.

    Unless I wanted to cheat and just start moving faster than her, I was going to keep getting pummeled without being able to do anything back.

    She was going to be so much fun to fight later, but first I had a bet to win.

    I dove out of the way of a grapple and turned to see Mel standing there with a smug look on her face.

    That was fine, I thought, settling into a stance. I already won.

    ¡°What¡¯s the matter? Running away won¡¯t help - guh!¡± Mel¡¯s taunt was cut off when my Ki flared up into a visible aura. The ground shook lightly and the sudden wind made her stumble half a step.

    Then I pushed my Ki higher.

    ¡°A little wind won¡¯t be enough!¡± Mel shouted, slowly stepping closer and raising an arm to shield her eyes and stop her hair from whipping her face.

    I said nothing. I just focused on collapsing all my Ki into a little point centered on my chest and then with a mighty yell, forced it all out again in a bright flash that caught Mel by surprise, and more importantly, sent her flying out of the ring.

    Victory!

    Now to get her to teach me how to move like that¡­

    -o-

    From a distant lookout, Queen Hippolyta and Diana watched as the Saiyan girl began to pester Melanippe until the Amazon gave up and started showing her and correcting a handful of strikes and stances she had used in the brief fight.

    ¡°It seems that matter is settled then.¡± Hippolyta murmured.

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand why you assigned Melanippe as Califa¡¯s teacher if she was so against it.¡± Diana commented. ¡°There were plenty of others that were willing to take her as a student.¡±

    The Queen hummed. ¡°There were others, yes. But aside from Melanippe being as good or better than all of them, there was another reason.¡±

    ¡°Another reason?¡±

    ¡°There is a small but very vocal group of Amazons that feel that we should remain isolated from Man¡¯s World. Melanippe is one of them.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that all the more reason another should teach Califa?¡± Diana frowned. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want a small part of our Sisters to drive her off.¡±

    Hippolyta chuckled, ¡°I¡¯d be rather surprised if an unwelcoming attitude was enough to drive the girl off. In fact I believe Melanippe may have done the opposite and will have to spend a considerable amount of effort avoiding or distracting her new student.

    Diana thought about the reports Bruce had made about Califa¡¯s determination to have him train her and her own few interactions with the young Saiyan. And she had to admit her mother probably had a point. Still¡­

    ¡°That can¡¯t have been your only reason.¡± She pressed, getting a nod in return.

    ¡°Indeed. I¡¯m hoping that by interacting with the girl some of those vocal dissenters will realize something very important.¡± Hippolyta said seriously, causing Diana to look at her in alarm and confusion.

    ¡°Mother?¡±

    ¡°You know what I speak of, Daughter. You and your friends dealt with it not long ago.¡±

    There were several things Diana had written or spoken to her mother of, but only one that stood out recently.

    ¡°The invasion?¡±

    Hippolyta nodded. ¡°Yes, a horde of invaders from beyond the stars. One that infiltrated, suborned, sabotaged, and almost flat out conquered Man¡¯s World in a week once they revealed themselves.¡± She paused and watched as Melanippe corrected some flaw in the Saiyan girl¡¯s technique. ¡°If it had not been for you and the others only the Gods know what might have happened. And we knew nothing about it until it was all over.¡±

    ¡°The Imperium was crafty, it¡¯s no surprise they managed to hide so well.¡± Diana offered but her mother waved it off.

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t my point.¡± She denied. ¡°The world is changing again, Diana. Califa is by her own admission young and weak for her species, yet she wields strength similar to a lesser demigod in the old days. If an army of her manages to find its way to Themyscira? We would fall.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t let that happen.¡±

    ¡°Of course not, if you knew about it.¡± Hippolyta agreed. ¡°But that is the key of it, is it not? If we remain isolated, hidden from the rest of the world, who will we call for aid when the next invaders come for us? How will we know to prepare for war at the gates if the invaders land elsewhere?¡± She sighed. ¡°No, we cannot remain isolated as we have been. I just hope the more stubborn of our Sisters realize that before it is too late.¡±

    Diana had nothing to say to that, since she also wanted more interaction between her home and Man¡¯s World. In the end the mother-daughter pair simply watched the training below in silence, contemplating what the future could hold for them.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 26

    It was another perfect day in Themyscira.

    The skies were clear, the water was calm, the kangaroos were frolicking in the fields, and several women could be seen trading at some street stall dotting the city of Amazons.

    It was the very picture of paradise.

    ¡°Find her, sisters! And tell that brat when I get my hands on her, she¡¯ll be polishing the floors till her arms fall off!¡± An enraged shout shattered the idyllic atmosphere.

    Over a dozen Amazons in full armor could be seen running through the streets, hunting down the focus of their leader¡¯s ire. Yet despite the armed warriors prowling the city and inspecting every nook and cranny, none of the bystanders seemed nervous about the behavior.

    In fact some of them seemed greatly entertained by the whole thing.

    ¡°What do you think it is this time?¡± One of the shop vendors asked her customer.

    ¡°None of this batch have bows with them but they still have their quivers. My guess is that some weaponry has been ¡®relocated for training purposes¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Idmoroe wouldn¡¯t be so angry if that was the case.¡± the vendor countered. ¡°My guess is another artwork was ¡®accidentally¡¯ destroyed after a history lesson ran too long.¡±

    ¡°Hmm, it has been a while since that happened, but no, if something was destroyed Idmoroe wouldn¡¯t be threatening polishing the floors. She would be keeping the girl as far from anything fragile as possible.¡± The other woman mused. ¡°Or perhaps not. I think we would all prefer if there was never another Horse/Kangaroo war. It took forever to get the hoofprints off the walls.¡±

    Several amazons listening in on the conversation shivered at the reminder of that particular incident.

    Any further speculation was put on hold as one of the armored seekers jogged up to the stand. ¡°Excuse me, sisters, have any of you seen the Outsider recently?¡± She asked, either oblivious to or deliberately ignoring the several disapproving frowns that formed in the gathering crowd.

    ¡°Not recently. Why, what¡¯s she done this time?¡±

    The seeker looked mad enough to spit. ¡°The Outsider convinced the Queen to put on one of those recorded plays from Man¡¯s World, some drivel by someone named Disney, to show us how the rest of the Outsiders remember our history.¡± She explained. ¡°It was the most ridiculous, inaccurate, and downright insulting bit of theater I have ever witnessed. Hardly any of the Gods were depicted accurately, the tone was all over the place, mighty trials, feats and deeds passed over as mere footnotes, and they even managed to get Herakles¡¯s name wrong!¡±

    She shifted awkwardly. ¡°The music was decent however.¡±

    ¡°But! That wasn¡¯t all the Outsider did! While we were distracted she broke into the Pantheon and painted the visages of the Olympians to match the play! Lord Zeus is orange. Great Hera is reddish-pink!¡±

    Several Amazons sucked in a breath and looked nervously to the skies, half expecting to see thick thunderclouds rolling across the skies, but there was no such thing in sight. Many of them decided the King of the Gods was either not offended by what had happened, or more likely had determined the Amazons themselves would have to deal with the matter.

    ¡°I see¡­¡± The vendor said slowly as she moved to close down her stall. ¡°Well in that case perhaps it would be best if we all lended a hand to find our troublemaker and make sure she is properly punished for what she¡¯s done.¡±

    -o-

    There was a large crash as an Amazon kicked in a door. The assailant swiftly strode into the room, spotted the single occupant, and pointed a sword at her.

    ¡°Where is she, Melanippe?!¡±

    ¡°Captain Idmoroe. Was that truly necessary?¡± The other woman sighed.

    ¡°I believe so. You¡¯ve been growing closer to the Outsider despite our sisters¡¯ warnings. Obviously your judgment has been impaired.¡± Idmoroe sniffed.

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°The girl has been here for two years, you can say her name by now.¡± Melanippe said, rolling her eyes. ¡°I think it¡¯s become very clear Califa does not care if we consider her part of our community or not.¡±

    ¡°We can have this debate later, we¡¯ve already wasted enough time. Now tell me where she is hiding.¡±

    ¡°I think you¡¯re misunderstanding our relationship, I¡¯m her teacher not her minder.¡± Melanippe huffed.

    ¡°Our faction allowed you to teach the Outsider specifically so you would be her minder!¡± Idmoroe snapped. ¡°Have you abandoned your loyalty to your sisters because of one girl?¡±

    There was a sudden blur of motion, a clang of metal, and Idmoroe¡¯s sword was ripped from her hand. Melanippe¡¯s own blade rested lightly on the guard captain¡¯s cuirass.

    ¡°Mind your tongue, captain.¡± Melanippe whispered dangerously. ¡°It¡¯s true I had similar feelings about the outside world as you and your circle, but it was the Queen that gave me my orders. Not any of you.¡±

    ¡°T-that may be, but we still need to find the Outsider.¡± Idmoroe stuttered. ¡°She¡¯s gone too far this time and has defaced the Main Temple. We cannot allow her to escape punishment.¡±

    The combat instructor was stunned into silence. While Melanippe was no longer willing to alienate Califa simply because of her background or because of internal politics, that in no way translated into allowing the young Saiyan to have free reign on the island.

    ¡°Well that is important enough to go find her.¡± Melanippe eventually said, moving about the room and gathering up her armor. ¡°You said that no one knows where she is?¡±

    ¡°No one.¡± The Guard Captain confirmed. ¡°Not since before the incident.¡±

    ¡°Gods damn it all, that means she has something else planned.¡± Melanippe cursed. ¡°Califa has never hidden away from one of her stunts, she must be using the chaos of the guards searching for her as a distraction for something.¡±

    -o-

    It wasn¡¯t long before most of the island heard about what Califa had done and either joined in the hunt for the Saiyan or went on alert for the next act of chaos the girl had planned.

    But as the day went on and there was no sign of the girl or what she had planned many of the Amazons were beginning to grow paranoid.

    Subtle was not a word that could often be associated with the tailed menace, so when they didn¡¯t find her cackling in an open field daring the guards to fight her like she had when she had stolen Hippolyta¡¯s crown, most of the island realized whatever she had planned was going to be big.

    Horse/kangaroo War big.

    And at the thought of that, efforts to find the Saiyan and stop her redoubled. Themyscira moved almost to war footing in an attempt to find and stop whatever was going to happen, but no one could find any sign of her.

    Hunting parties formed and started scouring the forests and countryside, guards started poking through vaults and storage rooms that had been undisturbed for years, and several Amazons debated interrupting the Queen¡¯s personal time with her daughter to ask Diana to assist them in the search.

    Because while they found evidence that several malicious artifacts had been moved or started influencing their surroundings, a small cabal of Amazons conspiring with a coven of witches to engineer a plague targeting only men, and even a demonic summoning circle hidden in some of the more secluded areas of the island, there still was no sign of the Saiyan.

    -o-

    Eventually a group of guards conceded defeat and decided that admitting they were not good enough to track down a teenager was more important than letting whatever scheme she was in the middle of take them by surprise.

    Lots were drawn and not long after one of them was chosen as the sacrificial goat, and left waiting for her queen in a secure room.

    Unfortunately for the poor guard, she was left on her own for several minutes stewing in her own thoughts while the Queen finished whatever she was just doing.

    ¡°Hello Seda, I¡¯ve managed to clear some time for this.¡± Queen Hippolyta greeted the guard. ¡°What emergency are we dealing with?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the girl, Califa, your Majesty.¡± Seda replied. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you¡¯ve heard about her latest stunt?¡±

    ¡°The ¡®movie¡¯ she wanted to show everyone?¡± Hippolyta asked. ¡°Yes, I approved it even though I¡¯m sure some of our stauncher traditionalists are foaming at the decision.¡±

    Seda winced. ¡°I¡¯m sure they are not pleased, but compared to what she did afterward I don¡¯t think many will mention it.¡±

    ¡°What she did afterward?¡±

    Seda described what Califa had done to the statues of their gods and the ongoing hunt for the Saiyan teen. She also brought up Melanippe¡¯s theory that that was just a distraction for some other disaster and the guard¡¯s inability to find her anywhere.

    ¡°...so that¡¯s why I found her outside the Temple.¡± Hippolyta sighed and rubbed her brow. ¡° I suppose it was too much to hope for that she was actually behaving for once. I¡¯d hoped Diana¡¯s presence would influence her some more but it seems she is still acting like a child.¡±

    Seda very carefully did not mention that the queen seemed abnormally tolerant of Califa and that her behavior towards the girl had caused rumors that ¡®Wonder Mom¡¯ was looking for a second child. Instead she tried to move the conversation back to safer topics. ¡°None of the priestesses have reported anything amiss, but if what she did angered the gods¡­¡±

    Hippolyta huffed. ¡°Considering I caught Califa with who I am now certain was Lord Hermes I doubt the gods will be angry. I assume the Temple¡¯s caretakers are already removing what she¡¯s done? Oh, when I get my hands on that girl¡­¡±

    ¡°You know where she is?!¡± Seda exclaimed, interrupting the queen¡¯s building tirade.

    ¡°I just said farewell to both her and my daughter not ten minutes ago. Both of them are heading back to the outside world for some time.¡± The Queen confirmed. ¡°Which makes the letter Califa left behind suddenly feel much more foreboding.¡±

    ¡°A letter?¡±

    ¡°Yes, for her combat instructor apparently since she did not tell her she was leaving the island. Normally I¡¯d call Melanippe here but if Califa really does have something brewing¡­¡± She trailed off as she unfolded the paper.

    ¡®Hey Mel,

    I¡¯m catching a ride back to the States with Wonder Woman. Planning on dropping in on the Sidekick Squad for a bit so I won¡¯t be around for lessons. Sorry for not giving you a headsup but it was kinda last minute.

    P.S. Enjoy the surprise I left you. I was told both of them go really well together.¡¯

    Both Queen and Royal Guard sighed at the confirmation that there was a surprise waiting for them. One that apparently didn¡¯t need Califa there in person to set off.

    And with the culprit having already made her escape, they had no clues to go on.

    They just had to hope they stumbled across whatever surprise she had left behind before it was too late.

    -o-

    I idly hummed a song from the Hercules movie soundtrack as the Javelin left Themyscira behind us. I had forgotten how catchy some of those were.

    ¡°You seem like you¡¯re in a good mood.¡± Wonder Woman commented from where she was piloting the ship. ¡°Eager to meet up with the others?¡±

    ¡°A little bit.¡± I shrugged. It had been a while since the last time I visited the Sidekicks but honestly I was more excited to put all my time training to the test. I had improved a lot over the past two years, I couldn¡¯t wait to see where I stood now.

    I was so excited in fact that I had decided to only pull a minor prank on the Amazons before I left. Painting the gods to match the color scheme they had in the movie would annoy a few of them for sure but they could clean it up pretty quickly.

    I just hoped that Mel enjoyed the two fish I had left in her kitchen before I left. Apparently they tasted really good but were hard to find.

    I¡¯d have to snag a couple for myself the next time I visited to see if they were really that good.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 27

    "I really missed this¡­" I sighed as I took another bite of my el Fuego Inferno Fire Burger.

    Amazon cooking was great, but they had a severe lack of certain spices I had taken a liking too. So every time I left the island I made a point to stop at Central City and visit a local burger joint the Flash had taken me to a couple times.

    They also didn''t really do ''fried'' foods very often¡­or even all that well. I blamed the lack of potatoes.

    "Hey, Kid. Back from your tropical island vacation house?" A red blur whooshed into the other side of the booth which, unsurprisingly, turned out to be the Flash. Who immediately stole one of my fries.

    "Hey! Those are mine!" I protested, doing my best to simultaneously cram the rest of my burger in my mouth, guard my fries, and glare at the evil speedster. Seriously, why were all the members of the Justice League secretly evil?!

    "Didn''t see your name on it." Flash said smugly, casually stealing another fry and ignoring my glare.

    "Hah, serves you right for stealing my food all the time." his sidekick sniped from the side as he zipped over with two other platters of food.

    "Shut up, Speedy!"

    "It''s Kid Flash! Kid. Flash. Why is that so hard to remember?!" the redhead complained but I just rolled my eyes at him. It was his fault for picking such a dumb name.

    "Whatever. So what''s up? Unless you just came by to steal my food." I directed my attention back to the Flash.

    "What, I can''t just swing by to say hello? What happened to the cute little alien girl that just wanted to play tag with me all day?" Flash faked a sniffle.

    I just grumbled under my breath about cheating speedsters and their unfair amount of stamina. Yes, I was much faster thanks to my workouts with the Flash and his sidekick, but that didn''t mean I was any closer to matching his speed without flying and even then he left me in the dust.

    "Anyway," The Scarlet Speedster continued slightly more seriously. "We were on our way to grab a bite and I saw you in the window. You split with Wonder Woman for the day?"

    I shrugged, casually scratching at my shins. They had been really bugging me lately along with some other places. "She has some sort of meeting between ambassadors going on so I decided to explore by myself for a few weeks."

    "A few weeks? Wait, does that mean you aren''t going back to Themyscira for a while?!" Kid Flash jumped in.

    "Wasn''t planning on it." Not that I actually had much planned for my trip away from the island. And most of the things I did have planned boiled down to ''go to X city and poke around for something interesting to do''.

    "Cool, Rob''s been waiting to surprise you for weeks. Let me know when you head to Gotham because I have to see the look on your face." Kid Flash said excitedly.

    Birdbrain had a surprise for me? That was ominous.

    But before I could <s>interrogate </s>ask him about that, Flash raised a hand to his ear as some kind of alert came in on what I assumed was an earbud under his mask.

    In less than a blink of an eye Flash had gathered up his food and was out of his seat. "Sorry kids, there''s a chemical fire on the other side of town. I''ve gotta run."

    "Whoa, hold up!" Kid Flash cried. "What about me? I''ll come too!"

    "No way," Flash shook his head. "This is too dangerous to take kids into, your parents would kill me. But hey, if you''re looking for something to do, a silent alarm just went off in a jewelry store on 4th and Jefferson. Think you can handle that? Yes? Cool, I''ll meet up with you later. Catch you later, shortstuff."

    And just like that he was gone.

    I watched with amusement as Kid Flash slouched on the table and used superspeed just so he could keep pouting without taking a long time to finish his food.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Once he was done, he grabbed all the trash and started leaving. "Alright, I''ve gotta run. Bad guys to catch and all that. I''ll see you around Cali."

    "Ah! Wait!" I called after him, gathering up my own stuff. "I wanna play with you when you''re done!"

    For some reason he started moving faster when I said that.

    -o-

    In the end it didn''t matter if Kid Flash ran off on me. I knew where he was going and I could fly while he had to run around buildings and cars and stuff. I ended up meeting him just as he showed up with a smug smile plastered on my face.

    "I wiiin~" I taunted even as he ignored me and pretended to focus on the store.

    "Looks like just one robber and no hostages." He said, mostly to himself. "Guess that means I''ll have this taken care of in a flash."

    "Boo." I complained at Kid Flash''s pun. He tried ignoring me again and threw open the door to the store.

    "Alright, hold it right there¨C" Kid Flash cut off and I floated over his shoulder to see why. Instead of a normal thief like either of us was probably expecting, there was a man in a weird green and orange suit. And I say weird because the orange parts were somehow translucent so you could see the shadows of the green parts right through him!

    "¨C Mirror Master." KF finished, shifting position so he was ready to move in any direction.

    "Well now, if it isn''t the sidekick and the alien girl." Mirror Master drawled. "Is Flash running late?"

    "Hah, I''m more than enough to take you down." Kid Flash boasted. "Besides, a jewelry store? Seems a little low end for you, Mirror Master. But I guess crime doesn''t pay as well as it used to."

    "I''m just tagging along." I added, not really paying attention to the whole thing. While Flash was fun to hang around, most of his villains tended to be on the ''techy and clever'' side of things. They usually had some neat stuff, but a solid hit would put them down for the count like what happened with Captain Popsicle.

    Since then I''d seen Flash fight the Trickster and Australiaman and neither one of them changed my mind about that. They had cool gadgets and skills¡­but were still just human.

    "Crime pays very well actually." Mirror Master replied to KF. "But every once and a while you just have to respect the classics." Ah, another villain who paid attention to the type of job they did instead of something stupid like how big a payday they would get or how useful it was to them.I could respect that. "Of course I can never get enough diamond focusing lenses. So, two birds, one stone."

    Ah, nevermind then.

    Mirror Master took a step to the side and suddenly there were two of him. Then those took a step and there were four.

    I blinked as the store was suddenly flooded with copies of the villain. That was actually pretty cool. I wished I could do that ¨C wait! The multiform technique was a thing, I could do that! The only question was how¡­

    "Sorry kids, I don''t have time to play around. But hey, I''m a fair guy. I''ll give you a chance to hit the real me. What do ya say?"

    Kid Flash shifted to a more aggressive stance. "I say bring it on!" And then he rushed the first group of clones. Predictably his fist went through all of them before they faded to nothing.

    "Oooh, sorry sidekick. Tough luck, maybe next time. Now it''s my turn." Every clone said at once and pulled out a pair of high-tech looking pistols. Since Mirror Master''s whole thing seemed to be holograms and stuff I was only expecting the two guns the real one had to actually do anything but as I watched Kid Flash duck and dive through an onslaught of laserbeams I was surprised to see every single beam did damage to what they hit.

    Remembering the lessons Mel beat into me every chance she got, I made sure to dodge any beams that looked like they were going to hit me even though I was pretty sure I''d be fine even if they did and watched KF flail around at all the clones.

    None of the Mirror Masters seemed concerned about what he was doing at all so I guessed he wasn''t close to hitting the real one.

    "Need to do better than that, sidekick." Mirror Master taunted as Kid Flash punched another clone. He must have been getting frustrated, cause he overcommitted to the punch and left himself open to a shot that hit him in the side, knocking him over and practically through a display stand.

    "You okay, KF?" I couldn''t help but call out. Yeah, he was a little annoying but I didn''t want him dead or something.

    "...Yeah¡­gonna feel that one in the morning." The redhead called back, flinching and holding his side as he tried to get back on his feet. "...A little help?"

    "Oh, is it the alien girl''s turn now?" The Mirror Masters all turned to face me. "Think you can find the real one when your friend couldn''t?"

    I shrugged. "Don''t have to find the real one if I just hit all of them." I cupped my hands together in front of me and focused. A sphere of Ki formed and before any of the clones could react, I started shooting smaller Ki blasts at each of them like a machine gun.

    "How''s that?!" I cheered as the dust settled. None of the blasts were all that powerful, but that many had to have hit the real¡­one¡­

    "...huh?"

    I looked around at the empty store in confusion. I definitely hit all of them so how come¡­?

    "That was dangerous¡­" My head snapped towards the side of the store where I saw Mirror Master casually sitting on what was left of a counter. Considering he looked completely fine and not even a little nervous about the fact I had shot a few hundred Ki blasts at him I was pretty sure this was another clone. "Still, it was better than what your friend tried, but I''m afraid I don''t have time to play with you kids anymore. Who knows? Maybe next time you''ll be good enough to play with the big leagues¡­"

    I cut him off with another Ki blast through the chest and just like I thought it went right through him. I snarled as more clones appeared and began shooting at not only me, but Kid Flash as well.

    Kid Flash was able to zip around dozens of lasers and punch out a few clones before running back to my side. I managed to dodge most of them but got hit with a couple when I slowed down to fire back at the copies. They didn''t do much beyond burning some holes in my clothes, which was sure to get me in trouble with Wonder Woman later ¨C I didn''t have too many spares that weren''t my armor and she preferred me to wear the outfits the Amazons gave me when out in public. Whatever, I''d deal with that later.

    "This guy is a serious pain in the tail!" Another three copies faded to nothing, only to be replaced seconds later.

    "Yeah, this would be a whole lot easier if we could just sense where the real one was." KF complained as he ducked another laser.

    I froze in midair after he said that. A few more lasers hit me but I didn''t react to them. I was too busy facepalming with embarrassment.

    "STUPID!"

    "Whaah!"

    I ignored Kid Flash''s shout of surprise and focused on my Ki sense that I hadn''t been paying attention to like an idiot.

    Unsurprisingly, there were a bunch of people in the area even though the fight had been going on for a few minutes now. I could ignore the ones in the surrounding buildings or too far away, but there were two Ki signatures nearby and one of them was Kid Flash.

    The other one was right behind me, and even though I couldn''t see anything I trusted my Ki sense and shot a blast at the seemingly empty area.

    The little yellow orb exploded on something and another Mirror Master was thrown to the ground. It didn''t take a genius to figure out this was the real one. It just took a stupid Saiyan that literally forgot she could sense people. Ugh, if anyone knew about this, I''d never live it down.

    "Woah, you got him?!" KF exclaimed. "How''d you know he was there?"

    "I don''t wanna talk about it." I grumped. "C''mon let''s tie him up and get going. You owe me a game of tag."

    "You can''t just leave me hanging like that, Cali. Come on, tell me! Cali? Cali!"

 Growing Pains - Chapter 28

    Even several days after splitting up with the Flashes I was still annoyed that Mirror Master almost slipped by me.

    I knew part of it was because I wasn¡¯t really taking him seriously but most of it was because I had gotten used to only paying attention to my Ki sense when I was training with it or specifically thinking about it. Probably a bad habit I should break before I messed up with someone more threatening than a guy that used illusions to rob jewelry stores.

    Which meant I needed to find a way of training myself to think of Ki sense just like my sight or hearing including how to react to what that sense was telling me in combat.

    Which meant I couldn¡¯t know someone was coming to fight me or it¡¯d defeat the purpose. Like learning to fight in the dark by waiting until your eyes adjusted and then training. I mean, yeah, eventually you would learn how to do it, but you¡¯d waste so much time. And it wouldn¡¯t even train you for sudden changes like if someone turned the lights off suddenly.

    And I¡¯ve spent way too much time thinking about that metaphor.

    What was worse is that I couldn¡¯t really figure out a way for any of the heroes I knew to help with that part of my training. None of them would have the free time to ambush me randomly throughout the day to make sure I was paying attention and that was assuming that they agreed to do that in the first place.

    That left either villains or normal thugs. And coming up with a way to make them come to me first¡­

    Actually, that gave me an idea.

    -o-

    ¡°Miss Califa, this is a surprise. I hadn¡¯t expected to hear from you after losing contact for a couple years.¡± the distorted voice of TotallyNot!Luthor said through a screen. ¡°I heard a rumor that you were joining the more heroic side?¡± He let the question hang, clearly expecting a response.

    ¡°Wonder Woman agreed to train me and teach me a couple things.¡± I shrugged.

    ¡°And she is okay with you searching for this kind of work?¡±

    ¡°I mean, I¡¯m not allowed to go looking for anything villainous anymore,¡± I pouted said, ¡°but she never said anything about honest mercenary work.¡± Kinda an oversight on her part, but I wasn¡¯t complaining. Much.

    ¡°...I see. If her restrictions bother you that much I¡¯m sure that we could find some alternate trainers that meet your needs.¡±

    I raised an eyebrow. ¡°You can find someone as strong and skilled as Wonder Woman and an island full of Amazons¡­Amazonians?...and just as willing to teach me as much as I want?¡±

    ¡°...no.¡± TotallyNot!Luthor said reluctantly. ¡°But I¡¯m sure we could arrange something in the future if it comes to it. Now then, you were interested in some other work?¡±

    ¡°Sure, I was looking for something where people would come to fight me.¡± I explained. ¡°But not in a way where it''s super obvious they¡¯re going to fight me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­not really a job we could offer, or that anyone offers as far as I¡¯m aware.¡± TotallyNot!Luthor sounded perplexed. ¡°But perhaps guard detail on some merchandise that has a high likelihood of being stolen? It would fit you¡¯re restriction of keeping to less¡­unsavory activity and is something you have done for us before.¡±

    I shrugged again. ¡°Sure, that¡¯ll work.¡±

    ¡°Excellent. We will contact you in a moment once we have a job.¡± TotallyNot!Luthor said. ¡°Keep in mind, we will be expecting some cooperation on your end in the future if you want more of these special considerations.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s fine.¡± I could always just ignore them if they asked me to do something I didn¡¯t want to.

    -o-

    I had to give Luthor ¨C or the team he had that actually ran the mercenary work ¨C some credit. They actually did manage to find a way to get me what I wanted.

    Usually it meant guarding some kind of crate or warehouse in really rundown areas where the local gangs were willing to try stealing whatever I was protecting despite me just hanging out in the open.

    On a related note, I was getting really good at dodging when someone tried shooting me in the back of the head.

    Of course that couldn¡¯t last forever, and after like a week I started getting a reputation so less people tried stealing the stuff I was looking after, which meant I moved on to slightly bigger, more valuable things. Pretty sure at one point I was ambushed by the Russian Mafia, though that was mostly because they tried to hit me with a molotov cocktail and shot at me with a bunch of AK-47s.

    Now I was back on the West Coast sitting on a crate full of chemicals in what I was sure was a Triad controlled dock waiting to see if they were actually going to try something this time instead of just poking around and running off when I caught them looking.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    I was tempted to just leave and wait for them to actually try something before coming back to beat them because I had mostly gotten the hang of using my Ki sense but not paying attention to it and I was getting bored doing the same thing over and over again.

    Maybe it was time to¨C

    ¡°This is who has my men running scared? Some little girl?¡± A heavily accented voice cut through my musing.

    I looked over to see a pretty short guy in a suit walking up with two more goons at his back. Besides the scar over one eye he looked like a lot of the Triad guys I had chased off lately. Slicked back hair, super gaudy shirt opened so you could see his chest, and walked like he was being held up by one shoulder.

    The aviator glasses were kinda cool though.

    ¡°When my boys told me this stash was being watched by some kinda super I was expectin¡¯ someone like the Archer, but you¡¯re just a brat, ain¡¯t ya?¡±

    ¡°Uhm, can I help you?¡±

    He nodded in an overly exaggerated way. ¡°You could move outta the way and let my boys through. Do that and we won¡¯t have problems. Or you can try and stop us and I¡¯ll have to rough you up.¡±

    Well today had been pretty boring anyway.

    ¡°Counteroffer, if you can beat me you can take whatever you want.¡± I said as a smile started to grow on my face. ¡°I beat you, your goons leave this stuff alone until my job¡¯s done.¡±

    The guy laughed followed by the two following him. ¡°Hoh? You think you can take on Tatsu the ¡®Immortal Dragon¡¯ all by yourself? You¡¯ve got guts if nothing else kid.¡±

    ¡°Thanks?¡± I replied, settling into a stance. I was pretty sure this guy was just a normal human though, so I wasn¡¯t going to get my hopes up.

    ¡°Haaah!¡± Tatsu roared and rushed me.

    He wasn¡¯t bad.

    Very aggressive, but not sloppy about it. I ducked one punch and had to block another, then I had to jump over a foot sweep and catch a roundhouse punch follow up with the back of my forearm.

    I swapped the block to a grab and used that to pull myself close enough that I could springboard off his chest and gain some distance. He staggered a bit, but recovered easily.

    ¡°She stopped Tatsu¡¯s ¡®Dragon Rush¡¯! Unbelievable!¡± One of the goons whispered in a way that everyone on the street heard him anyway.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. Tatsu has more than that up his sleeve.¡± his friend replied.

    ¡°Heh, not bad, kid. You have skills.¡± Tatsu smirked. ¡°But I have more than that up my sleeve.¡±

    I sighed. Did he not hear his buddy already say that?

    ¡°If you say so. But now it¡¯s my turn!¡±

    I kicked off the ground and ran towards his left side before sliding under a kick that would have caught me in the face. Tatsu was already moving to recover from the miss when I heard him make a sound of confusion.

    I grinned.

    He wasn¡¯t expecting me to hook his leg with my tail and use it to pull myself back to where I started. Now I was at his back and he must be thinking I had just disappeared. Up until I jumped up and kicked him in the back of the head, anyway.

    ¡°¡±Boss!¡±¡± Tatsu¡¯s two goons cried out as he hit the pavement.

    ¡°Well, that was fun.¡± I said, brushing off my hands and looking at the other gangsters. ¡°Now take him and get out of here and don¡¯t come back, kay? Shoo, shoo.¡±

    ¡°Heh, celebrating your victory a little early aint ya, brat?¡± ¡°¡°Boss!¡±¡± ¡°I¡¯m not called the Immortal Dragon for nothing, gonna take more than a love tap to take me out.¡±

    I turned back to Tatsu, actually a little impressed he was still conscious after that hit. The fact that he managed to stand up without swaying was even more amazing.

    ¡°Huh, you''re not bad, old man.¡± I complimented him.

    ¡°You gotta respect your elders, brat.¡± Tatsu scowled. ¡°And I¡¯m not old, I¡¯m only twenty seven.¡±

    Really? Huh, I thought he was at least in his thirties.

    ¡°Enough of that though.¡± He continued. ¡°I think we¡¯ve tested each other enough now. You ready to end it?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± I got back in my stance. ¡°And since you made it this far I¡¯ll show you the new technique I just picked up.¡±

    ¡°A new technique, huh? Alright, let¡¯s see it¡­¡±

    Both of us stared at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. One wrong twitch could be the difference between victory and defeat. The asphalt crunched as one of the goons shifted his feet and both of us took that as the start signal.

    I tensed and prepared to unleash my new technique as Tatsu fell forward to rush me¨C

    ¨CAnd then kept falling as a bright red boxing glove arrow cracked him across the jaw and knocked him out.

    I used a foot to stop the gangster from sliding into me and looked up just in time to see the two goons get caught in an electrified green bolas arrow that knocked them out too and for another two figures to drop down from one of the nearby crate towers.

    ¡°Yo, Califa!¡± The red one called as they walked up. ¡°I heard from KF you were back in the States. What are you doing all the way out here?¡±

    I looked back down to the unconscious gang member I was fighting and sighed. ¡°Not having a fun fight with the local Triad member, apparently. What¡¯s up, Red Arrow?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not my name.¡± He scowled. Good, now he was just as annoyed as I was for having my fight interrupted.

    ¡°I dunno, I kinda like it.¡± His mentor commented, giving his sidekick a nudge with his elbow. ¡°It¡¯s got a good ring to it if you ever want to rebrand from Speedy.¡±

    I smirked. ¡°See? Arrowman likes it.¡±

    ¡°Yea¨CHey!¡±

    ¡°Alright, that was kinda funny.¡± Speedy begrudgingly admitted. ¡°But seriously, why are you out here picking fights with Triad members?¡±

    ¡°Cause it¡¯s fun?¡± I looked at him like he was being stupid. I mean, why else would I pick a fight with normal humans. They usually weren¡¯t all that interesting otherwise.

    ¡°Tsk, right. Forgot who I was talking to.¡±

    And what was that supposed to mean!

    ¡°Whoa, whoa, calm down you two.¡± Green Arrow interrupted before I could do more than bristle at Speedy¡¯s comment. ¡°We¡¯re still on the job here. You two can fight later if you want.¡±

    ¡°Job?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Yeah, someone¡¯s been smuggling some nasty chemicals lately and we got a lead that they might be coming through the docks here.¡± Green Arrow explained. ¡°Just need to find the right crate¡­¡± he said, before walking away looking at the shipping containers as he went, Speedy following after.

    ¡°That¡¯s cool, just stay away from the one marked Medtech.¡± I called after them.

    Both of them stopped and turned to me.

    ¡°Medtech is the one we¡¯re here to investigate. Why are you saying we should stay away from that one?¡± Speedy demanded.

    I shrugged. ¡°Cause I was hired to make sure no one goes through it when they shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Califa, that container could be smuggling things to make all kinds of illegal drugs!¡± Speedy snapped. ¡°Why are you protecting it?!¡±

    ¡°Cause I was hired to, stupid.¡±

    ¡°Okay Speedy, chill. This is a good thing.¡± Green Arrow tried calming his sidekick down. ¡°Califa, right? Mind showing us the container?¡±

    ¡°Are you going to go through it?¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯d be hard to tell if they were smuggling things otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Then nope. Can¡¯t let you investigate private property without a warrant.¡± I smirked.

    Speedy groaned and Green Arrow looked flabbergasted that I was stopping them.

    ¡°Wha? ¨C Come on, kid. We¡¯re heroes!¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°Sorry, job¡¯s a job. Wonder Woman told me I needed to take pride in my work.¡±

    ¡°This is because I knocked out that gang member, isn¡¯t it?¡± Speedy questioned, dragging a hand down his face.

    I mean, he wasn¡¯t totally wrong.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s it going to be?¡± I asked, shaking out my hands and hopping from foot to foot. ¡°You going to leave or are we going to have some fun?¡±

    The two archers shared a look and simultaneously pulled an arrow from their quivers and aimed at me.

    ¡°I was hoping you¡¯d say that.¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 29

    Growing Pains - Chapter 29

    ¡°You know you guys are going to need to kick it up a notch if you actually want to beat me!¡± I taunted as I flipped over another trick arrow.

    Of course as soon as I said that a green arrow sparking with electricity almost hit me in the chest and only a quick twitch let me pluck it out of the air and throw it back toward the Emerald Archer¡¯s sidekick.

    ¡°Stop doing that!¡± Speedy shouted as he dove out of the way.

    ¡°No!¡± I called back.

    In order to make the fight more interesting I decided I was only going to use their own arrows to attack.

    It was actually really fun because I didn¡¯t always know what was going to pop out of each arrow. So far I¡¯d seen boxing gloves, bolas, tasers, and some sort of glue arrows, not to mention some more explosive ones.

    Both of them stopped using the last type pretty quickly after I managed to snag one and almost hit Green Arrow in the face with it.

    And then there were the trick shots!

    Sometimes it was something simple like an arrow curving instead of going straight, or ricocheting off the ground or a storage container. And then sometimes they got weird.

    I wasn¡¯t even talking about how they sometimes randomly shot straight up and then herded me into its path by predicting my dodges. Those failed spectacularly more times than they worked. I was talking about the times they would ricochet an arrow off three surfaces so it was coming at me from the opposite side they shot from and then shoot that with another arrow that had some crazy combination effects.

    The two part expanding foam was particularly nasty. The stuff hardened almost instantly and looked really sticky on top of that. They were both lucky I didn¡¯t get my tail stuck in it or I was going to hang them from a flagpole by thier underwear.

    ¡°C¡¯mon Kid, you could be helping the bad guys here!¡± Green Arrow tried again, even as he shot another arrow.

    ¡°I still don¡¯t see a warrant, Arrowman!¡±

    ¡°The judge is so far in everyone¡¯s pocket he golfs with the biggest crime names in the area! No way is anyone getting a warrant without tipping everyone off!¡±

    ¡°Sounds like a ¡®you¡¯ problem.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°She makes it a lot easier to kick her ass when she acts like that, huh?¡± Speedy snarked from the side.

    I smirked at him. ¡°Is that what you¡¯re trying to do? Cause you suck at it.¡±

    Yeah that wiped that annoying smirk off his face. Good.

    He reached back for another arrow only to come up short when it turned out he had nothing left. Guess that means our game was pretty much over.

    Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

    ¡°Out of arrows then? Guess that means I win. Better luck next time, or when you have a warrant I guess.¡±

    Speedy scowled harder. ¡°I can still hit you with my bow.¡± He said, gripping the weapon like a staff and stomping forward.

    I was actually tempted to let him try, just to see what would happen when Green Arrow pulled him back by his shoulder.

    ¡°Whoa, hey, calm down, Speedy¡± The archer waved down his sidekick. Not that the redhead was following his suggestion.

    ¡°Calm down? For all we know everything we need to prove Medtech is smuggling drugs into the city is in that crate, and we¡¯re being stonewalled by a muscle brained idot with a tail!¡± he raged. ¡°Why aren¡¯t YOU more upset about this?!¡±

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°Hey!¡±

    ¡°I mean, if we were trying to get into that crate then, yeah, I¡¯d be upset.¡± Green Arrow shrugged. ¡°But! This time we¡¯re just the distraction. So its all good.¡±

    Wait, what?

    ¡°Wait, what?!¡±

    Both Speedy and I stared at the blonde haired man with the same thought, even if Speedy was the one to actually blurt it out loud, and then my head snapped over to the shipping container I was supposed to be guarding.

    At some point during the fight, the door had been opened enough for someone to slip into the container. That by itself was probably enough to make me fail the job.

    The fact that Batman was standing next to it with a bunch of papers and what I suspected was a sample of whatever Green Arrow thought they were smuggling?

    Yeah, I wasn¡¯t getting paid for this job.

    ¡°We were a distraction?! Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± Speedy demanded while I was mourning the loss of a paycheck and the trip to a Brazilian steakhouse I had planned for it.

    All that delicious meat¡­lost because I didn¡¯t expect the goddamn Batman on the other side of the country working with another hero.

    ¡°Relax, Speedy. Bats was out here getting my reply on joining their little club. When I told him about the drug smuggling issue, he decided to help out.¡±

    ¡°Wait, we¡¯re joining the Justice League?!¡±

    Green Arrow rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. ¡°I¡¯m joining the League ¨C we talked about it and everyone agrees. You and your friends are a little too young for that yet.¡±

    ¡°I¨C you¨C I can¡¯t believe this¡­¡± Speedy snapped. ¡°I¡¯m out of here!¡±

    And on that note the hot-headed archer stormed off leaving me with the two older heroes.

    ¡°You should go after him.¡± Batman suggested after he stalked over and handed Green Arrow the things he took out of the container.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. He just needs some time to cool off.¡± The Archer waved it off. ¡°Besides, I need to get these to the right people if we want them to be worth anything.¡± He said, raising the papers a bit before turning to me. ¡°Uh, we¡¯re not going to have an issue with that, are we?¡±

    ¡°No, you won¡¯t.¡± Batman said like it was a fact.

    And he wasn¡¯t exactly wrong. Even if I felt like taking the stuff Green Arrow had back, Batman probably had a copy somewhere anyway.

    ¡°Great.¡± Green Arrow started walking away. ¡°Then I¡¯ll catch you later, Bats. Oh, and Kid, try not taking jobs for the bad guys okay? Cause the idea of fighting you for real one day is really, really scary.¡±

    ¡°No promises.¡± I quipped. ¡°Besides, I wanna fight you and Speedy again sometime. I¡¯ll count this time as a draw because you got to the container so we¡¯ll settle it next time.¡±

    Green Arrow shuddered. ¡°Really, really scary.¡± he repeated and slipped between two containers leaving me alone with Batman.

    ¡­I¡¯m in danger.

    ¡°Right! So I¡¯m just gonna go¨C¡±

    ¡°Follow me.¡±

    I slumped forward. ¡°¨Cfollow you, yeah¡­that¡­¡±

    -o-

    I was fully expecting a lecture about what I was doing delivered at the end of a Batglare, but to my surprise I was quietly herded into the Batmobile instead.

    Ten silent minutes later, followed by probably the funniest trip through a drive through I¡¯ve ever seen, we were sitting at a park bench going through a small mountain of food.

    And Batman still hadn¡¯t called me out on what I¡¯d been doing.

    Weird.

    This was weird.

    And for some reason I really didn¡¯t want to ask why he wasn¡¯t saying anything.

    ¡°...So¡­not that I mind the food or anything,¡± I finally cracked. ¡°But what are you doing?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve been taking security jobs on the black market.¡± He said instead.

    Dammit.

    ¡°I mean, yeah, I kinda needed it for training¡­and they were legit jobs! Just, you know, through the black market¡­¡± I rambled.

    Batman nodded once.

    ¡°And it¡¯s not like I could just¨C¡±

    ¡°Califa.¡±

    That one word shut me up.

    ¡°I¡¯m not mad.¡± Oh great Oozaru, it¡¯s the ¡®I¡¯m not mad, I¡¯m just disappointed¡¯ speech! WHY? He¡¯s not my dad! ¡°You had a problem and found a solution.¡± He continued. ¡°And you did so while respecting most of the rules Wonder Woman and I asked you to agree to.¡±

    ¡°...Okay?¡± So he wasn¡¯t disappointed? Now I¡¯m confused.

    ¡°You¡¯re bored. So you¡¯re looking for ways to fix that while respecting the boundaries the League decided on. That you chose to do it in a way that didn¡¯t hurt innocents and got you what you wanted shows your growth in maturity over the past few years.¡±

    And now there were compliments?! ¡°I¨C uh...¡± I squirmed.

    ¡°In the future, try not to hinder other heroes. If it becomes an issue, contact me. We¡¯ll set something up.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­?¡± I was so freaking lost.

    Batman just nodded again, stood, and jumped back into the Batmobile, leaving me with a pile of food, a bigger pile of questions, and the feeling that my brain was overheating.

    -o-

    ¡°So you talked to her?¡± Wonder Woman¡¯s voice asked over the hum of the Batmobile¡¯s powerful engine.

    ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°And you didn¡¯t say anything about her working for criminals? That seems unlike you.¡±

    Batman scowled. He didn¡¯t like that Califa was working with the underworld even through the mostly harmless ¡®gray-zone¡¯ security jobs. Unfortunately the Green Lantern¡¯s info suggested young Saiyans would nearly always search out ways to test themselves, usually through violence, and trying to restrict those activities when they had no alternative to offer might end up pushing the girl away.

    The training with the Amazons had obviously done wonders for the Saiyan¡¯s self-control but while most of them were still clearly more skilled than the young teen, few of them could match her in power.

    Too many restrictions ¨C too many rules ¨C might have her looking at crossing a line none of the heroes wanted for her.

    ¡°She followed the guidelines we set when we asked her to trust us.¡± He deflected. ¡°Changing them just because she found an interpretation we didn¡¯t like and punishing her wouldn¡¯t help.¡±

    ¡°I agree.¡± Wonder Woman said unsurprisingly. ¡°I just thought you would push her to work with the heroes more.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have the infrastructure yet. Or the time to set it up. The fact you are letting Califa run around the country while you¡¯re doing your ambassador duties is proof of that.¡±

    Besides, Batman didn¡¯t want Califa to be a hero.

    If she reigned in her more chaotic, childish side, she would probably be a fantastic one, but this job took a toll. He didn¡¯t want to see another child dragged into the fight against crime when they had the chance to live a more normal life.

    He already felt like a failure for being unable to stop Dick from dedicating his life to the fight. Not after he lost his parents to a gangster and vowed not to let it happen to anyone else. He didn¡¯t want to push another into that hell just because she was powerful.

    ¡°You think it was a mistake?¡±

    ¡°No, she¡¯d have run off on her own anyway.¡±

    ¡°But you think I should have done something.¡±

    If possible Batman would have liked her to assign Califa someone who could come with her on her jaunts off the island. It would give the girl someone that could keep up with her. But from what he understood the list of Amazons that could really push Califa in strength was already small. The list of those willing to leave the Island was limited to just Wonder Woman.

    ¡°The Watchtower is going to be completed tomorrow. Will you be able to step away from your responsibilities?¡± He changed the subject.

    ¡°...yes, I¡¯ll be there.¡± Wonder Woman sighed.

    ¡°Truthfully I¡¯m a little excited to see what you¡¯ve been building. It sounds incredibly impressive.¡± She continued with a more upbeat tone. ¡°I¡¯m also looking forward to seeing our friends in one place again. It¡¯s been a while.¡±

    ¡°Mhmm.¡± Batman hummed as a notice beeped on his dash. ¡°I¡¯ve got to go. A silent alarm just tripped on a robbery.¡±

    ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll see you tomorrow then.¡± There was a small click as the call disconnected.

    The Batmobile¡¯s engine roared louder as the Dark Knight sped through the city streets.

    It might not be Gotham but as long as he was nearby, criminals would learn they weren¡¯t beyond the reach of Justice.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 30

    ¡°...it was just really uncomfortable, you know? Like I kept waiting for some super strict lecture or arguments I wouldn¡¯t be able to say anything against, but just never happened.¡± I whispered to Birdbrain from where I was sitting. Didn¡¯t want the people nearby overhearing this.

    ¡°Nmhmm.¡± Robin hummed, stretching weirdly like he was trying to fly without actually leaving the ground.

    ¡°I mean, that¡¯s not a bad thing.¡± I continued. ¡°I¡¯d take being told I did a good job over getting yelled at any day of the week. But I, like, spent so much time expecting it that when it didn¡¯t happen I actually felt disappointed. Is that weird?¡±

    Birdbrain kept doing his stretching thing. To the point he was actually looking down his nose at me now. ¡°Nah, I get it. You got worked up to defend yourself, and it was all for nothing. Been there before.¡± He said, stepping closer and clearing his throat.

    ¡°...maybe. Still, it beats getting glared at like that guy.¡± I looked over to where Batman was interrogating a man by hanging him one handed over the side of a building by the man¡¯s foot and demanding answers with a really scary look on his face.

    I shivered.

    Yeah, I¡¯d prefer awkward and confusing talks over the batglare.

    ¡°Most things do.¡± Birdbrain shrugged while staring down his nose at me.

    Okay, this was getting annoying.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I finally asked. ¡°Cause it looks really weird and you¡¯re starting to freak me out. Is this some weird sickness I haven¡¯t heard about?¡±

    Robin glared at me. ¡°No, stupid. Look closely, notice anything different about me?¡±

    I gave him a quick lookover. Besides his weird posture he looked exactly the same as the last time I saw him a few months ago. But obviously there was something important I was missing if he was bringing it up.

    ¡°You got¡­a new¡­cape?¡± I guessed uncertainly.

    ¡°...seriously?¡±

    ¡°Uh, I mean, new belt! Yeah, looks much better than your old one¡­¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°...new haircut?¡±

    That wasn¡¯t the right thing to say either because he slumped in on himself and let out a really long sigh.

    ¡°No you monkey-brained ¨C anyway, since you couldn¡¯t tell on your own, I¡¯ll just have to clue you in.¡± He straightened up and smiled in a way that immediately made me want to punch him. ¡°For your information, I¡¯m now taller than you.¡±

    Huh?

    I looked him over again but it was kinda hard to judge while I was sitting down, so I got up and stood next to him. And yeah, he was now a solid inch, inch-and-a-half taller than me now.

    Okay, I saw what he was doing now.

    ¡°That¡¯s cool I guess?¡± I replied lightly and tilted my head. ¡°So what?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    I almost ruined the whole thing by bursting into laughter at the sight of Birdbrain trying to figure out if I was being serious about not knowing what he meant, especially because he didn¡¯t really seem to know how to explain why I should be mad about it. Totally worth playing dumb for.

    Best part was, when he tried to explain I just raised an eyebrow and flew a couple inches higher than him. Turning him into a spluttering mess and me into a cackling hyena. Flying really does make the whole ¡®I¡¯m taller than you¡¯ card completely worthless.

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    An impatient cough from behind me instantly stopped that though.

    I turned to face Batman, who was apparently done with his interrogation and standing right behind us, and snapped to attention. I was mildly amused to see Birdbrain do the same thing next to me.

    ¡°I have the location. Let¡¯s go.¡± Was all he said before turning on a heel and stalking off.

    Robin scampered after him while I moved a bit slower. The only reason Batman was letting me tag along was because I promised to hang back and not draw attention to myself, which was a bit boring. But on the other hand I got to watch him do his whole stealthy ninja thing.

    It was always fun learning more of that.

    But anyway, the whole reason for the interrogation was because Batman had heard from one of his League friends that a bunch of thieves had stolen something from an out of town museum. Not normally the kind of thing that would be a big deal, but apparently the thing the thieves had run off with was actually a magical artifact from somewhere that could rip open dimensional portals or something.

    You didn¡¯t need to be a genius to figure out that letting a bunch of thieves hold onto that was a bad idea at best, Apokoliptic at worst. Literally.

    I didn¡¯t want some random person summoning Darkseid to Earth until I got waaaay stronger.

    -o-

    As it turned out, the thieves had holed up in a safehouse of one of the local crime bosses, though ¡®safehouse¡¯ was stretching it a little. The place was a mansion!

    And they were definitely expecting trouble because I could sense guards moving all over the place.

    Of course none of them would be able to stop me, especially since I could just fly up to the roof or a window. Didn¡¯t seem to stop Batman much either, because he guided the two of us through their security like it almost wasn¡¯t even there.

    It was actually pretty neat to see because I thought it would all be about sticking to the darkest shadows and stuff, but he hid us in places where lights would mess up the guards¡¯ night vision so even if they looked right at us, they couldn¡¯t see us.

    Between that and just generally sneaking around, it took the three of us all of five minutes to find a door and slip inside without anyone knowing we were here. And that included the thirty seconds it took Birdbrain to pick the lock.

    Once we were inside it was much less about slipping around unnoticed and more about searching the mansion fast enough that no one could sound the alarm and run. According to Batman¡¯s source there were three places the stolen artifact would probably be. Inside the main office, because the owner had a hidden safe in there, somewhere. The garage, because they could easily move their stuff if needed. Or on the thieves themselves, cause they didn¡¯t trust the people they were hiding with to not just take the artifact for themselves.

    My bet was on that last one but we had to search everywhere anyway.

    Well, Batman and Robin did.

    I had no clue how to go around searching for hidden treasure without just blowing the place up and hoping I found it, and randomly blowing up magical things I knew nothing about was probably a bad idea. So I just stayed out of the way while they worked while keeping an eye out for any guards coming to check the areas we were in.

    Sure enough while we did find a bunch of stuff I¡¯m sure Batman was going to enjoy handing over to his police friends later, we didn¡¯t find the thing we were here for in the garage or office. So that meant it was up to me to find out which of the people in the mansion were the ones we were after. And turns out? Wasn¡¯t that hard.

    All I had to do was point out each group of ki signatures not obviously on patrol and check to see if they were who we were looking for.

    We were three groups down before I realized there was a group hiding in an area that didn¡¯t seem to have a door to it. Then it was just a matter of time before Batman found a secret entrance that let us sneak up on them without much trouble.

    ¡°...guys sure it¡¯s supposed to glow when you touch this?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s some ancient Greek doodad. Who knows what it¡¯s supposed to do.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, for all we know it¡¯s Wonder Woman¡¯s diary. The important thing is that it¡¯s worth millions. As soon as we get a hold of our buyer? We¡¯re set for life.¡±

    While the crime fighting duo prepared to enter the room, I heard the thieves talking. So they didn¡¯t actually know what they stole? That seemed stupid. That¡¯s how you ended up getting cursed or releasing sealed up demons.

    ¡°I dunno, why¡¯d we have to pick Gotham as the handover point anyway? What¡¯s gonna happen if the Batman shows up?¡± The nervous one said. ¡°And you sure this won¡¯t give us, like, super-cancer or something?¡±

    ¡°He won¡¯t show up.¡± one of the thieves said confidently. ¡°The Bat is good, but we did this out of town and kept our heads down the whole time. No one¡¯s gonna know where we are or what we have until we¡¯re long gone. And really? Super-cancer? That¡¯s not a thing.¡±

    I grinned at the timing, because the looks on their faces when Batman walked around the corner with me and Birdbrain right behind him were priceless.

    ¡°You have something that doesn¡¯t belong to you.¡±

    Even funnier than the ¡®we-are-so-screwed¡¯ faces all of them had were the desperate scrambles by two of the thieves to pull some kind of handgun, only for Batman and Birdbrain to knock it out of their hands immediately with one of their boomerang things.

    The third guy, the one holding what I assumed was the artifact, was a little smarter because he didn¡¯t move when I pointed a finger at him, a tiny ball of yellow Ki sitting menacingly on the tip.

    ¡°...no one¡¯s gonna know, huh?¡± one of them muttered, rubbing his sore hand.

    ¡°Shut up, Perry.¡±

    ¡°Sorry guys, better luck never.¡± Birdbrain mocked. ¡°Now, you wanna give up nice and easy or do we have to beat you up first.¡±

    The smart one looked between us, his two buddies, and the artifact. ¡°...nah, you got us. Don¡¯t really feel like getting my teeth knocked out right now.¡± and tossed the artifact to me.

    He really was the smart one of the bunch.

    I caught the thing and looked it over. Thanks to all the time on Themyscira I had a pretty good idea of what their stuff looked like and this definitely would have fit right in.

    At first glance it was a flat bronze disk with some really intricate night themed carvings on it. Two girls standing under a tree looking up at the night sky. The use of sapphires as stars was also a pretty neat touch too, especially since they seemed to glow on their own.

    I guess that was what the guy was talking about.

    Turning it over I saw it was actually a mirror. Of course instead of glass it looked like someone had taken a bunch of silver and pounded it really flat. Oh hey, this side was glowing t¡ª

    -Robin POV-

    Robin¡¯s jaw dropped open as he watched the annoying Saiyan girl who had been following them all night get swallowed up by a bright silver beam coming from the face of what was apparently an ancient Greek doom laser masquerading as a mirror.

    It was only when the beam dissipated and the mirror fell to the ground with a heavy thunk that he broke out of his stupor and rushed to where Califa had been standing.

    Absolutely nothing remained to show the girl had been there.

    No soot, blood, or even little meat chunks.

    The mirror was no help either.

    The small glow he had noticed when it was being tossed over was completely gone and the only thing being reflected on it was the ceiling.

    Califa was just¡­gone.

    Robin hesitantly reached out to touch the mirror, only for the iron handed grip of his mentor to hold him back.

    He almost wanted to argue, but one glance at the absolutely intense glare on Bru- Batman¡¯s face made the Boy Wonder keep quiet.

    Batman gave him an almost imperceptible nod and turned his attention to the three thieves they had cornered. Three thieves that suddenly looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

    ¡°I want answers.¡± The Dark Knight growled. ¡°Talk¡­¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 31

    I blinked as I looked around at my surroundings.

    One second I was in a hidden safe room with three random thieves, Batman, and Birdbrain¡­then I get hit in the face with some magic beam out of an old mirror and now I¡¯m somewhere else entirely.

    Which meant I was either teleported somewhere by a magic mirror or I was now very dead.

    ¡­not a whole lot of afterlives that looked like a random forest (I think) so I was going to guess teleported until proven otherwise.

    Now it was a question of where.

    I flew straight up to get a better look around, and all I could say was I was definitely in a forest. No real landmarks ¨C or ones that meant anything to me ¨C no signs of roads or highways, and no mountains as far as I could see. Nothing I could sense either, just some normal wildlife doing normal animal things, like the flock of crows coming right for me¡­

    I narrowed my eyes at that.

    Crows didn¡¯t have a reason to come bother me in the middle of the sky, they also weren¡¯t the size of small dogs, and they usually didn¡¯t have glowing red eyes and jagged beaks¡­I don¡¯t think those things were crows.

    One of them shot forward faster than its friends and tried to swipe me with its claws. I replied by blasting it in the face with a Ki beam.

    I think its friends didn¡¯t like that, because instead of turning and flying away I found myself getting swarmed by the things.

    ¡°Cut it out!¡± I yelped as one of the birds pulled at my hair while another tried to peck me in the eye. ¡°Seriously you flying idiots, stop!¡± A third bird tried to hit me in the stomach, I punched it in the face.

    The dumb thing exploded into a cloud of black feathers but I felt a sharp pain on my hand right after.

    Huh, I was bleeding. Note to self: don¡¯t punch them in the beak, it¡¯s really sharp.

    The good news was that as long as I didn¡¯t help them out, the crows were only strong enough to give me some shallow scratches. The bad news was those scratches still HURT! And no matter what I did ¨C blasting them to ash, hitting them hard enough to practically explode, or grabbing them and physically tearing them in half ¨C the crows weren¡¯t getting the message to just go away!

    And now there seemed to be more of them somehow!

    ¡°One more chance to leave, stupid birds, or I¡¯m going to¨C¡± I had to jerk my head to the side to avoid one of the faster crows, but I still felt three new scratches open up right underneath my left eye.

    ¡­

    Yeah, I had had enough of these winged pests.

    ¡°You asked for it!¡±

    I pooled a bunch of my Ki in the center of my chest and let it explode out in a single big bang. It didn¡¯t matter if there were a bunch of them flying around making it hard to hit one if I just hit all of them!

    Even better; it worked!

    The sphere of yellow Ki winked out and not even a single one of those crow things was left behind. My Ki sense even confirmed it, no more freaky crow things in the sky. In fact there wasn¡¯t anything else besides the one signature rapidly getting closer to me ¨C ah, crap.

    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Something strong, fast, and saiyanoid tackled me out of the air and used me as a plow for a few hundred feet on the ground below. I was rattled enough that when a hand grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me out of the dirt, I just stared blankly at my attacker.

    Shockingly enough it was an Amazon.

    I spent enough time on Themyscira to recognize the different clothing they wore. And the girl on top of me was definitely wearing one of their training outfits.

    Even more shocking, she looked like a younger Wonder Woman. And angry. She also looked very angry.

    ¡°DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW LONG I WAITED FOR YOU?! I WAITED YEARS, DIANA! AND YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE!¡± She bellowed in my face before realizing the person she was grabbing wasn¡¯t the one she expected. ¡°Wait¡­you¡¯re not Diana¡­who are you?¡±

    ¡°Really pissed off.¡± I growled in response and did the only rational thing to do in a situation like this. I punched her really hard in the face.

    The Amazon went flying backwards and through several trees while I pulled myself out of the trench I was in. A quick aura flare knocked most of the dirt off of me and then I was flying after my attacker.

    I had to admit, she could take a hit. Even after going through a dozen trees she was ready for my follow up and deflected my follow up punch like a pro. She deflected the next one too and threw a punch of her own. I ducked under it and kicked at her head. This time she blocked it, but made the mistake of using the ground to brace herself.

    The ground cratered underneath her and she grunted at the effort of fully stopping me from hitting her in the face. She threw another punch but I surprised her by going even lower, a Ki ball glowing in my hands. It wasn¡¯t a Kamehameha, but the bright yellow beam sent the Angry Amazon flying through the air again.

    It also blew up a good swath of the forest, but that wasn¡¯t my fault.

    It also didn''t really do much to my opponent much to my surprise. Like ninety percent of the Amazons back on the Island would at least be a little scuffed up after a hit like that, but she was perfectly fine.

    A grin broke out on my face.

    I started this fight pissed off because I got cheapshoted after dealing with those damn birds, but now it looked like I was going to be able to really cut loose against someone who could take it. My aura flared again as I stopped suppressing my Ki and got ready for a serious fight.

    ¡­though I should probably introduce mysel¨C wait, is that a tree?

    The broken trunk of one of the many trees around us hit me in the chest like a battering ram. It didn¡¯t really hurt thanks to the increased Ki I had running through my body, but the Angry Amazon definitely returned the favor of sending me crashing through a few trees of my own before I hit a boulder and stopped dead.

    Angry Amazon was there in a flash and immediately threw another punch. I caught it in an x-guard and despite my powered up state, I could feel the bones in my arm grinding from the force of the hit.

    ¡°You done holding back?¡± Angry Amazon asked, less angrily than before.

    ¡°Only if you are.¡± I shot back. Mostly rhetorically, because that last hit was definitely going to bruise at least.

    ¡°You haven¡¯t seen anything yet!¡±

    A kick caught me underneath my guard and blasted me though the rock I had my back to. Angry Amazon was back on top of me in half a second, but she overextended and I managed to grapple her before slamming her face first into the ground. She responded with a savage elbow strike that caught me in the teeth and split my lip.

    I wasn¡¯t going to let her get away with that and immediately headbutted her in the face, bloodying her nose.

    Our fight kept going like that.

    One of us would get a good shot in and the other would make them pay for it. But those shots were getting fewer and further between as we figured out the other¡¯s fighting style.

    Soon it was just us beating on the other¡¯s defenses hoping to slip something through the wall of blocks, deflections, counter-attacks, and dodges. Either that or one of us would grab a tree to use as a disposable bat real quick.

    ¡­we might be a little rough on the landscape. If Batman or Wonder Woman were here I was sure to have gotten a pretty long lecture about collateral damage, but they weren¡¯t, so it was fine!

    A while later ¨C I had lost track of time after the third time I was thrown through a rock ¨C both of us were standing apart from each other on an empty field that looked like it had been a bomb test site instead of a forest, panting and trying to not let the blood and sweat dripping into our eyes break the staring contest we had going on right now.

    Neither one of us tried to trash talk the other.

    We were too busy trying not to fall over for that.

    And honestly? Probably the most fun fight I¡¯ve had¡­ever. Even more than the one I had with Hawkie because this was against someone who wasn¡¯t over a decade older than I was, wasn¡¯t relying on some tool or trick, and she could keep up.

    I felt it deep in my cracked and maybe broken ribs, the next hit would be the decider. Neither of us had anything left.

    Unlike the dozens of other times we charged each other, the ground didn¡¯t collapse under our feet. It didn¡¯t crack as we planted a foot and threw one¡­last¡­punch¡­

    I saw stars as Angry Amazon¡¯s fist hit my face first, her longer arms giving her an advantage.

    Call it pride, stubbornness, or just being too stupid to quit; I fought to keep conscious as I forced my way past her fist just to return the favor. Her head snapped violently to the side just like mine did and then we were both on the ground.

    Everything started going gray, but I couldn¡¯t pass out yet¡­

    Had one thing I needed to do first¡­

    Pulling myself onto my knees felt like someone dropped a mountain on my back. My arms were shaking as they did their noodly best to not let me faceplant back onto the ground and I wanted to just stay there for a second¡­that or just collapse. But I pushed myself up more. One foot shifted forward and I almost fell over but once again I fought until I was half standing over Angry Amazon who was also struggling to stand.

    ¡°...I¡­I w-wii¡­I-I wiiii-herk! Coegh, coegh!¡± I tried to say before I choked on something wet and broke out into coughs.

    It cost me too, because by the time I stopped I was back on the ground looking up at Angry Amazon who had managed to get to her feet in the meantime.

    ¡°...I¡­wi-...-n~¡± She said as smugly as she could with her face being a beaten mess, and immediately passed out and fell forward¡­

    Right on top of me¡­

    ¡­so¡­heavy¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 32

    ¡°So who are you anyway?¡± Angry Amazon asked once we had both woken up, bandaged ourselves, and settled around a small fire. It felt nice to be warm even if I really wanted something softer than a broken tree to lean against. My everything still felt bruised.

    ¡°Califa, I¡¯m a Saiyan from planet Vegeta.¡±

    ¡°A what from where?¡± Ah right, ancient amazon trapped in a mirror long enough that she managed to confuse me for Wonder Woman. Good thing I had experience explaining this to the more secluded Amazons on Themyscira.

    ¡°So you¡¯re from beyond the stars then.¡± Angry Amazon said in a suitably awed voice. Which was wrong but close enough I wasn¡¯t going to correct her.

    ¡°Yep!¡±

    ¡°...wow, I beat a warrior from the stars. I bet Diana¡¯s never done something like that before.¡± She mused, and I was instantly pissed at her again. She didn¡¯t beat me! She just won round one! ¡°Oh, I¡¯m Donna of Troy by the way.¡± She added, almost as an afterthought.

    Which¡­wasn¡¯t all that surprising to be honest.

    I was expecting something like that when I saw a younger looking Wonder Woman. And Donna Troy was known for being her younger sister/clone/playmate. Made sense she was who she was¡­even if it didn¡¯t explain how she still looked like a teenager when Wonder Woman was an adult and had been one for decades. Yet, Donna thought it had only been ¡®years¡¯.

    Thoughts for later, I needed to put someone back in their place right now.

    ¡°Wonder Woman helped fight off an alien invasion two years ago. Pretty sure she fought a bunch of aliens before then too.¡± I said smugly, only for Donna to just look confused.

    ¡°Who¡¯s Wonder Woman?¡±

    Right, totally out of touch Amazon.

    ¡°That¡¯s Diana¡¯s superhero name. A bunch of soldiers started calling her that during the last big war Earth had and she kept it. She¡¯s world famous now.¡±

    ¡°Wait, Diana left the island? She was in a WAR?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!¡±

    I sighed. This was going to take a while.

    -o-

    A few hours later I finally had Donna mostly up to speed about things outside Themyscira, even if I didn¡¯t go super into detail about most things - she could look them up herself later if she wanted.

    Although during my little history storytime we did find out something pretty weird. The time difference between where we were and the outside world was all kinds of messed up ¨C Oh, and I also found out I was sucked into some sort of pocket dimension inside the mirror instead of being teleported or something similar. Not the important part. ¨C according to Donna there shouldn¡¯t have been any difference between the two or the mirror dimension should have been a bit faster.

    Which did put a bit of urgency on getting out of here because if years passed outside while I was stuck in a mirror¡­I would miss so many things!

    Invasions, new heroes, teamups, global takeover plots, I wouldn¡¯t be there for any of them!

    So priority one. Figure out how to get out of here.

    Which raised another problem.

    ¡°There is no way out from the inside. Did you think I¡¯d have waited here for years alone if there was a way out?¡±

    ¡°There has to be something.¡± I demanded. ¡°Wonder Woman apparently left and came back, so how did she do it?¡±

    Stolen story; please report.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know! She would just vanish from her bedroom and appear randomly!¡±

    ¡°Well then I know where to start looking¡­¡±

    -o-

    ¡°See? Nothing here.¡± Donna said grumpily as she leaned against one of the less destroyed parts of the room.

    And holy cow was the room trashed. I don¡¯t think there were more than like two things in it that hadn¡¯t been smashed or thrown against a wall.

    ¡°There has to be something.¡± I argued. ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense that this is the only room Wonder Woman could leave through and there not be something special about it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah? Well, you¡¯re wrong. I¡¯ve looked this room over hundreds of times. There¡¯s nothing in here.¡±

    Well that wasn¡¯t good. I was kinda banking on a secret portal under the floor or something but I guess it wasn¡¯t going to be that easy. I wasn¡¯t giving up just yet though.

    ¡°Okay, you were right. There¡¯s nothing here. How big is this place anyway? Any spots you weren¡¯t allowed to go or couldn¡¯t reach?¡± Hopefully comic book logic applied here and there¡¯d be a way out somewhere else.

    ¡°Diana said it¡¯s about half the size of Themyscira and no not really. I¡¯ve looked over every part of the island¡­except for the inside of the monster den.¡±

    I perked up. Monster den? That sounded super suspicious and definitely the kind of place someone would hide a portal out of the mirror if they didn¡¯t want it to be found. And even if it wasn¡¯t, it sounded like an adventure by itself.

    It was still kinda odd Donna hadn¡¯t been inside though. ¡°Why not go inside? You had to have wanted to look or been curious at some point.¡±

    She glared at a piece of rubble. ¡°Of course I wanted to, but it¡¯s where all of the monsters Diana and I were supposed to train against come from. Both of us working together couldn¡¯t get all the way inside. Once she abandoned me in here there was no way I could do it by myself.¡±

    Oof, not touching that.

    ¡°Well I¡¯m here now so let¡¯s go check it out! Between the two of us we should be able to blow through all of them!¡±

    Donna¡¯s glower faded a bit. ¡°We probably could¡­I¡¯ve gotten past the point Diana and I got stuck at by myself a while ago. But what if there¡¯s still no way out?¡±

    ¡°But what if there is?¡± I pointed out. ¡°Worst case, we go and beat up a bunch of monsters and keep looking. Sounds awesome to me!¡± I didn¡¯t really need an excuse to have fun fighting a bunch of monsters.

    She gave me an amused glance. ¡°You¡¯re pretty easy to please, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    I grinned at her. ¡°Yep. Cool adventures, good fights, and great food and I¡¯m a happy Saiyan.¡±

    She snorted and pushed off the wall. ¡°Well the good news is you¡¯ll get a bit of the first two here, but not much of the last one. No real food except what someone from the outside brings in though unless you want to try eating monsters and they taste like crap. Don¡¯t actually need to eat though which makes it bearable.¡±

    I stared at her in horror.

    Screw having fun fighting a bunch of monsters, I wanted out of here asap even more now. This was definitely some kind of hell dimension.

    -o-

    There wasn¡¯t too much to say while we flew towards the entrance of the monster den Donna had talked about. It was a short flight and the sights weren¡¯t all that interesting.

    We did run into another flock of murder birds but neither of us really felt like dealing with them so I ended up just blasting them with ki attacks before they could get close.

    So then it was just me, my new amazon friend, and a ruined temple looking thing with a hole in the ground. Well, more of a staircase, but still¡­

    ¡°So this is it?¡±

    Donna nodded. ¡°Yep, apparently it¡¯s based off the Labyrinth of Crete. I wouldn¡¯t know. Diana said we¡¯d go explore the real one someday, but we saw how that turned out.¡± She finished darkly.

    I sighed like I did every time she got like this. ¡°Like I told you, the mirror wasn¡¯t even on Themyscira anymore. It was stolen by some normal thieves after being who knows where. You don¡¯t know if Wonder Woman left you alone on purpose.¡± and that wasn¡¯t including the more out there situations like the mirror being from another dimension or something like that. The universe could be a weird place.

    I existed after all.

    Wait, no, that came out wrong. I wasn¡¯t weird for existing!

    ¡°If we actually do find a way out of here maybe we¡¯ll find out.¡± Donna groused, ignorant of the self-inflicted mental blow I gave myself. ¡°But I don¡¯t want to talk about her right now,¡± Then why did you bring her up? ¡°Let¡¯s just focus on getting through this.¡±

    ¡°What are we getting through then?¡± I asked, hopping lightly from foot to foot. I wanted to get going already!

    ¡°Mostly a simple maze. But occasionally there are larger rooms with an opponent we will need to defeat to move forward. If it gets too challenging we will have to run back through the rooms we already cleared and new monsters will appear in those eventually.¡±

    So it was like a videogame dungeon. That was neat. ¡°Are there hidden traps and chests filled with treasure too?¡±

    Donna snorted. ¡°No? Why would there be? This was a training tool for Diana to practice fighting against monsters. Not some kind of deathtrap or game¡­although she did mention that there was some sort of prize at the end of the labyrinth but we never found out what it was.¡±

    That sounded about right. Mel would occasionally give me training like that, where I¡¯d earn the right to own or wear something at the end. Like the time she and a bunch of her friends shot arrows at me I was only allowed to block with a pair of bracers without moving from a tiny circle. I think it was more an excuse to shoot at me than actual training, but I was allowed to wear a pair of bracers like the rest of the Amazons afterwards. I even got a pair of my own as a gift.

    I just didn¡¯t wear them because they felt weird.

    ¡°Right, well let¡¯s get going.¡±

    And then the two of us went down the staircase.

    Donna didn¡¯t seem impressed or excited, which made sense if she¡¯d been down here a lot, but I was looking all over the place and nearly vibrating with excitement.

    How could I not?! It was a fantasy dungeon filled with mythological creatures specifically placed here to help train a young Wonder Woman! I couldn''t wait to see what we went up against first!

    And luckily for me, I didn¡¯t have to!

    Since this wasn¡¯t some kind of magical shifting maze, Donna already knew the way forward and we were outside the first challenge room in minutes.

    The doors opened and I rushed inside.

    On the other side were two Saiyaniod figures with furry legs, hooves, and horns poking out of their heads.

    I recognized those! Satyrs!

    In my excitement I skipped asking Donna which one of us would be going first and shot forward. Neither one moved much beyond tracking me as I rushed to one side, a yellow Ki orb appearing in my palm.

    I stopped once I was far enough to the side that one of them would be forced to move around its partner and pointed my hand at them. The satyr closest to me hunched down in preparation to tank my attack as I fired off a Ki blast.

    The satyr brought its arms up to block¡­and was instantly vaporized by the simple attack.

    ¡­so was the one behind it.

    ¡­

    ¡­

    ¡°...eh?¡±

    Donna snorted behind me.

    ¡°The Labyrinth was designed for training me and Diana when we were little children. Did you really think that there would be something strong in the first room?¡±

    Oh, I guess that made sense.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 33

    Trekking through an underground maze filled with monsters trying to kill me was incredibly boring when the monsters died from a random ki attack.

    I mean, it was really cool to see a bunch of different monsters. But it was kinda like expecting to go to the zoo and just walking to different rooms and seeing a model instead. Completely underwhelming and disappointing.

    ¡°Hey, what would happen if I blasted through the floor? Would that speed this up?¡± I asked Donna after another room was easily cleared.

    The Amazon paused on her way to the other side of the room and scratched at her cheek in thought. ¡°I don¡¯t actually know?¡± She said eventually. ¡°We never considered not just going through the maze.¡±

    Time to find out then¡­

    ¡°You might want to stand back a bit.¡± I warned Donna before cupping my hands and focusing. ¡°KAAAAMEEEE¡­HAAAMEEE¡­HAAAAAAA!!!¡±

    Light pooled and burst forward, slamming into the smooth sandstone and drilling straight through. It didn¡¯t stay that way though. The further my Ki beam drilled, the slower it did so, the walls getting tougher and tougher until my attack couldn¡¯t push through anymore. Ki pooled at the end, building up until it lost cohesion and exploding violently enough I could hear it from where I was.

    I broke out into a self satisfied smile at the newly created shortcut even as I cut power to my attack. I didn¡¯t cut through the entire labyrinth, but at least we could get to the fun stuff instead of wasting our time on these weaklings now.

    ¡°That worked pretty well,¡± I chirped and started pulling a dazed Donna along by the wrist. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go see what¡¯s waiting for us. I think I heard something roaring down below.¡±

    ¡°...I¡­you¡­ugh! What if the roof collapsed on us?! There¡¯s a limit to being reckless you damn monkey!¡±

    Oh hey, Donna¡¯s using the same insult as Birdbrain now. I bet they¡¯d get along pretty well when I introduced them after we got out of here. Honestly Robin would need the help, his skill at bantering was pretty weak¡­

    -o-

    ¡°...Great Hera¡­that¡¯s a manticore!¡±

    ¡°Oh cool, are those tough?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re nearly legends! Only the greatest heroes and demigods lived after encountering one!¡±

    So they were supposedly really tough! Finally, we might get something interesting to fight.

    ¡°So do you want to go first or should I? Cause I have been hogging all the fights, even if they kinda sucked until now.¡± I admitted.

    Donna looked at me like I was crazy. ¡°Go first¡­? Califa, this is a manticore, we¡¯ll need to work together to even have a shot at winning. Between the claws and poisonous barbs a single mistake could be disastrous and we¡¯ll probably still have more monsters ahead of us as well!¡±

    I scowled but she was right. It just wasn¡¯t any fun, but then most Amazons trained and worked in teams. Saiyans just preferred to take turns. Stupid poison, making things less fun.

    Oh well, I¡¯d just demand a spar later to make up for it.

    ¡°Fine. You go left, I¡¯ll go ri-¡± I was cut off when the manticore decided to remind me talking wasn¡¯t a free action and slammed me to the ground. I instinctually caught a clawed limb from tearing open my face and was surprised when I had to put more effort in so it didn¡¯t casually overpower me.

    Strong. Dangerous too.

    Finally, something exciting!

    Donna shoulder-checked the manticore into a wall hard enough to crack the stone before either of us could really put any effort into our struggle and knocked the creature back into the room it was supposed to be guarding.

    ¡°You okay?¡±

    I smiled. ¡°Never better.¡±

    ¡°Good because it¡¯s coming back for more. Watch out for the tail, it can shoot venomous barbs.¡±

    Also good to know.

    Now that it was clear I wasn¡¯t just going to blow through this one in a single attack, I took a second to actually look at the monster we were fighting.

    Big fangs and claws were kind of a given for a monster, and the feline body, draconic wings, and weird scorpion tail covered in a bunch of spines were all good touches, but it was the eyes that got me excited.

    There was something hungry behind those eyes. This was an opponent that wanted to fight us.

    Well, we were going to give it one.

    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    Donna was the first to fly forward. The manticore roared at her and took a swipe. She ducked under the first paw and caught the second before landing a bone-rattling uppercut on the beast¡¯s jaw. Despite that, the monster didn¡¯t go flying. It was just forced onto its hind legs for a bit until Donna punched it in the face again.

    ¡­and again, and again, and again.

    Despite the assault, the manticore didn¡¯t seem all that injured after it managed to swat the Amazon out of the way with a forepaw. It did seem mad though, and looked ready to lunge after her.

    So I did the reasonable thing and blasted it in the face with a Ki beam.

    What? Donna said we needed to work together.

    It didn¡¯t even do all that much. The manticore slammed into the walls and stayed pinned there for a few moments while the beam sputtered out. Besides a small burn mark I noticed when it picked itself up and roared, there wasn¡¯t even a scratch.

    Okay, time to take this up a notch.

    The manticore spun around and a dozen or so spines shot at me. Remembering Donna¡¯s warning about poison I flew up over them rather than risk even a tiny cut screwing me over. But the manticore apparently was counting on that, because I looked up to see it hovering above me on leathery wings already clawing towards my head.

    On instinct I reached out and managed to grab its furry wrist, using that as a lever to pull myself over the swipe and kick the manticore in the head.

    It was an awesome move and I¡¯d totally claim I did it on purpose if someone asked¡­unfortunately, it didn¡¯t do much either. The manticore¡¯s head snapped to the side and that was it. So I punched it again. This time I pushed it back just in time for Donna to come screaming in for a big hit of her own.

    We kinda devolved into a big threeway aerial fur ball at that point, each of us punching, kicking, and clawing at our opponent without the space or time to really put our full strength into any one blow.

    I ducked around a clawed kick and got a solid hit into the creature¡¯s ribs just as Donna punched it across the face. The manticore grunted from both hits but swung its body around to keep momentum. More spikes shot out of its tail and went for my amazonian partner. I almost panicked and blasted both her and them out of the air, but she kept her head and quickly deflected all of them with her gauntlets. Seeing she was safe I flared my Ki higher and slammed into the manticore. This time the manticore was knocked across the room but once again it seemed fine.

    ¡°This isn''t working," I said, during a brief pause in the fight. "We keep hitting it but I don¡¯t think we¡¯re doing any damage.¡±

    She glanced at me and then back to the manticore which was slowly circling us now that we had all figured out just rushing each other was pretty pointless. ¡°You¡¯re right, we¡¯ve both hit it hard enough that we should have done something but I don¡¯t see any damage. It¡¯s like it''s impervious to blunt force.¡±

    Well that¡¯s not good. Most of our attacks were blunt force. ¡°Any ideas then?¡±

    ¡°We could backtrack and see if one of the previous challenge rooms has a weapon we could steal.¡± Donna proposed. ¡°Diana and I used to do that when we were younger.¡±

    I gave the still circling manticore a look. ¡°You think this guy would let us wander back through the maze and not follow us?¡±

    ¡°...probably not. If it¡¯s like the other monsters, it would try to keep chasing us until we left the labyrinth.¡± She admitted. ¡°You have any ideas?¡±

    Hit it harder? No, that was stupid.

    Blunt force wasn¡¯t working so more blunt force wasn¡¯t the answer. We needed to either use a different type of attack or figure out how to target a weak spot. Burying it or strangulation might work, I vaguely remembered Hercules did that to a few of the monsters he fought, but the issue was that the walls were too tough to easily break and our monster had a tail that would wreck us in a moment if we tried to brute force it.

    Have one person strangle it while the other held off the tail? No, that was too risky. One mistake and the person strangling the manticore would be skewered. Stab it with a Ki blade? Possible, but I didn¡¯t have the best control of that technique yet. I was more likely to burn it rather than stab through its skin.

    Wait¡­burn it.

    I glanced at the manticore¡¯s face where the mark from my Ki blast was still visible.

    So I could hurt it. Now it was a question of how to exploit that enough to win.

    ¡°Okay, I have an idea¡­¡± I told her and explained my plan.

    To say she was thrilled would be¨C

    ¡°Are you absolutely insane?!¡±

    ¡°It could work!¡±

    ¨Ca complete lie.

    ¡°It could also lose me my hands or my life!¡±

    I shrugged, she wasn¡¯t wrong there. ¡°Yeah, but, you have any other plans besides ¡®run away and hope for the best¡¯?¡±

    She glared at me. ¡°...no, but this doesn¡¯t work I¡¯m going to kick your butt again.¡±

    ¡°Again for the first time, you mean?¡± I scoffed. ¡°And it¡¯ll work. I¡¯m like seventy percent sure it will.¡±

    ¡°S-seventy percent?!¡±

    ¡°Aaaand go!¡±

    I flared my Ki and left a sputtering Donna behind as I shot forward. We needed to catch the manticore off guard if my plan was going to work, that meant luring it into a false sense of confidence we were just going to try beating it to death¡­or just giving it a concussion. Personally, I was fine with either solution.

    The manticore roared and lunged to meet me, a small shockwave appearing where my forearm clashed against its wrist, and the both of us attempted to overpower the other for a bit. I thought I was winning that, but it turned out to be a trap when the manticore twisted in a way that made me shoot past it and almost get impaled by its tail. I managed to dodge at the last moment, but I actually felt the spines pass through my hair.

    Too close.

    A hind leg still caught me in the chest though, and I found myself bouncing off the floor and slamming into a wall not long after. A brief check reassured me that I hadn¡¯t been disemboweled by the kick but my clothes had definitely seen better days by this point. The four new long scratches over my torso were shallow, but still bled enough that it would be a pain to get out. Which sucked because these had been a gift and were really comfy. I¡¯d need to start wearing my armor again.

    I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

    I must have hit my head harder than I thought if I was thinking about clothes in the middle of a fight.

    I glanced over to where Donna was now tangling with the manticore on the ground. I wasn¡¯t exactly sure how she managed to force the monster out of the air but it would make the next part of the plan easier, so good job!

    Leaving the Amazon to her fight I started preparing on my end. We¡¯d only had one chance to surprise it so I had to make it count.

    Funny enough, Donna was actually doing better now that the both of them weren¡¯t flying. She seemed a lot more comfortable getting close and grappling than the constant maneuvering and surging flying combat needed. If the manticore wasn¡¯t tough enough that we simply couldn¡¯t beat it into submission, I¡¯d have given her pretty good odds she could have beaten it by herself.

    But as neat as it was to watch my Amazon buddy fight, I was focused and waiting for my opening.

    I didn¡¯t have to wait long. Eventually Donna managed to twist the manticore around enough that she was relatively safe from the poisonous tail and the monster¡¯s claws. With no other options the manticore fell back on its one remaining weapon¡­it tried to bite her. And that was exactly what we were waiting for.

    Donna immediately dropped everything to shove her hands into the manticore¡¯s mouth and forced it open as wide as she could. The beast definitely didn¡¯t like that because it tried backing off but the Amazon held it in place.

    ¡°Califa, now!¡±

    I didn¡¯t need her to tell me. As soon as I saw her make her move, I launched forward as fast as I could, the Ki I had been building without allowing to escape was dumped into the fastest and sloppiest Kamehameha I¡¯d ever done. If it wasn¡¯t for the fact I was less than two inches in front of my target, I think the Ki would have just exploded randomly before I could force it into a beam. But my target was right in front of me, so while I shouted out the name of the technique I focused on pouring as much power as I could where I needed it to go: right down the throat of the manticore.

    Neither the manticore or my Ki really liked that. The manticore for obvious reasons, but my Ki because it was being constantly compressed in the stomach of the manticore with nowhere to go and I was only adding more. Something had to give, and given that I had actually burned the monster with a basic Ki blast I was betting the manticore would be first.

    Its body actually swelled and warped from the amount of energy I was pouring down its throat before it warped and popped like a particularly gruesome pi?ata. Luckily my Ki finally managed to burn away the gross bits so most of the manticore was vaporized in a flash of blue light before they got everywhere.

    ¡°Wheeew~¡± I let out a big sigh as I collapsed on my butt next to Donna who did the same. ¡°That was fun! Can¡¯t wait to see what else we get to fight now!¡±

    Donna gave me a look before barking out a laugh. ¡°You¡¯re crazy! We just beat a manticore and you already want to fight again?!¡± She laughed some more and then gave me a friendly tap on the shoulder. ¡°But you know what? That was fun. I forgot how nice it was to fight with a friend by your side. Let¡¯s rest for a bit and then continue on.¡±

    I smiled back at her. We were friends now. She even admitted it!

 Growing Pains - Chapter 34

    [Batman POV]

    ¡°Were you able to identify anything about it?¡± Batman demanded.

    The man dressed as a stage magician huffed and ran a hand through his hair. ¡°You know this isn¡¯t really my area of expertise, right? I focus mostly on my family¡¯s branch of magic. You¡¯d get better luck talking to an enchanter or someone like Dr. Fate.¡±

    ¡°Fate is offworld at the moment. And I¡¯ve checked with three others already.¡± The fact Batman was still compiling a list of other magic users skilled enough to help wasn¡¯t mentioned.

    ¡°Right,¡± Zatara huffed again. ¡°Well I don¡¯t know what I could tell you about this that they couldn¡¯t but it¡¯s a magical bronze mirror with a beaten silver face. Heavily enchanted.¡±

    Batman knew that before he even went looking for subject experts. Unfortunately, despite his expectations the last three hadn¡¯t been able to tell him anything more. ¡°What else?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s some sort of gateway or portal. I¡¯m not really familiar with how it works but I do recognize a bit of the style. Old Greek. That¡¯s all I can tell you.¡± Zatara seemed regretful about that but Batman was glad to have another avenue to investigate. Having a specific region to investigate was much more manageable than trying to sift through every discipline on the planet.

    -o-

    ¡°How¡¯s the search going, Bruce?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m shifting through thousands of historical records and myths for any mention of a mirror matching the description of the one we found. It¡¯s taking a while.¡± Batman sighed, rubbed at his tired eyes and turned to face his visitor. ¡°What are you doing here, Clark?¡±

    ¡°Checking in. The League is hunting down leads but no one has heard from you in a week.¡± Clark was hovering there in his hero costume, arms crossed and a disapproving look on his face.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been busy.¡±

    ¡°Looking for a way to get Califa back, we know. Everyone is pitching in.¡± Clark said. ¡°But working yourself into the ground isn¡¯t going to help anybody.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been taking breaks.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t call heading out into the city to deal with several criminals every night taking a break, Master Bruce. Some proper sleep would do some good.¡± Alfred, his ever loyal butler commented as he deposited a glass of water nearby and began collecting the empty or forgotten coffee cups. ¡°And would our guest care for a drink? Coffee, tea?¡±

    Clark smiled. ¡°No thanks Alfred, I¡¯m good.¡±

    Batman resisted the urge to sigh again and locked down the computer. With both Clark and Alfred teaming up on him, he was unlikely to get back to work anytime soon.

    And while he appreciated the two of them caring about his health, he couldn¡¯t bring himself to rest until he knew what happened to Califa. The image of the Saiyan child vanishing in a flash of silver had haunted what little sleep he managed since the incident. It was only after meeting with Zatara and learning that she had likely been transported somewhere instead of being vaporized that he had managed to get back to something close to his normal schedule.

    ¡°But really, Bruce, you can take a break. We have people looking. We¡¯ll get her back.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t. I¡¯m meeting Diana about a possible lead in a few hours. I¡¯ll need to leave soon to make that.¡±

    Annoyingly, Clark just smiled. ¡°Great, just let me know where we¡¯re going and hop in the Batjet. You can catch some sleep on the way there.¡±

    The sigh Batman was holding back broke free, because with Clark tagging along Batman would have to sleep instead of working through the flight like he planned. If he didn¡¯t Alfred would know and he wouldn¡¯t hear the end of it for a few days.

    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    ¡°...fine.¡±

    He just hoped wherever Califa was sent was safe enough she could survive until they found her.

    -o-

    [Califa POV]

    ¡°Anytime now Donna!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m working on it!¡±

    ¡°Hurry up!¡±

    ¡°Just wait a bit!¡±

    I gaped at the audacity of that, which turned out to be a mistake. Because of course the second my mouth was open for more than a second was when the hydra head in the process of trying to eat me decided to breathe out¡­

    ¡°Ghhaaakch that reeks!¡± I gagged. ¡°And I don¡¯t have a bit, it¡¯s trying to EAT ME!¡±

    I heard a crash and the world shook and spun as the hydra went flying but not enough to dislodge me.

    There was a wet tearing sound and then the jaws that had been in the process of trying to crush me slackened, allowing me to wriggle out of the hydra¡¯s mouth and look around a bit.

    Donna was hovering over the stump of the neck she had just ripped off. A stump that was starting to wriggle and grow. I put a stop to that with a Ki beam and waited to see what happened. This was the fifth time we did this, but it was the first time the hydra didn¡¯t have any heads left. And it was clearly alive if it was trying to regrow more heads even then.

    I didn¡¯t have to worry though, because after about a minute the body just kinda tipped over.

    Guess we won¡­woo¡­

    Ugh, I couldn¡¯t even pretend to be excited. I was covered in gross lizard saliva.

    ¡°You okay, Califa?¡±

    I glared at the Amazon, who was still keeping a good distance between us.

    ¡°What do you think?¡±

    ¡°I mean, you didn¡¯t have to fly into its mouth. We could¡¯ve figured out another way to stop it from breathing poison.¡±

    I scowled at her because at the time neither of us had the time to think of anything better, so I solved it by following my gut - physically holding the little flap that allowed the hydra to breathe a kind of poisonous mist closed while Donna ripped the head off. Also because every stupid monster in here seemed to breathe or have poison all of a sudden.

    ¡°But more seriously, are you okay? You didn¡¯t breathe in any poison?¡±

    I shrugged and rolled my shoulders a bit. ¡°Nah, I feel fine. A little tired but fine to keep going.¡±

    ¡°Good. I think we are getting close to the end. I can¡¯t imagine many things more dangerous than a hydra. Well, things that would be found in a small underground labyrinth anyway.¡±

    ¡°I hope so, I¡¯m starving.¡± Even if I apparently didn¡¯t need to eat in this weird place it didn¡¯t stop me from wanting to. Which, now that I thought about it, must have been horrible for Donna.

    I was holding off judging Wonder Woman until we got out because leaving someone trapped in a mirror didn¡¯t seem like something she should do, but if she did abandon Donna here and just kinda forgot about her¡­I was going to help Donna beat her up.

    ¡°Nothing to do but keep moving forward then. I¡¯m going first though - you kinda¡­smell.¡±

    My eyebrow twitched.

    Or maybe I would help Wonder Woman beat up Donna instead.

    -o-

    To my surprise, the next room we found didn¡¯t have a monster for us to fight.

    Instead we found something that looked a lot like one of the temples on Themyscira. If someone had emptied one of them out of everything including any reference to the god it was supposed to be honoring anyway.

    ¡°Oh, we found a rest area.¡± Donna commented, looking around interestedly but completely unsurprised.

    ¡°You know what this place is?¡±

    ¡°Kind of? Diana and I found them a few times when we got lost on the upper floors. They¡¯re spaces that have useful tools for recovery. Things to make medicines or treat injuries, things to fix clothing or armor, and some other stuff that we needed to learn to do on our own. But I¡¯m glad we found one because there is one room we desperately needed right about now.¡±

    ¡°A kitchen?¡± I asked hopefully.

    She snorted. ¡°No, a bath!¡± She replied, not hesitating a moment to crush my dreams. ¡°And maybe the sewing room. Gods know we could both use a new outfit.¡±

    I shrugged at that, not really caring beyond getting something that didn¡¯t stink like hydra breath. But finding something that wasn¡¯t covered in blood and grime would be nice too.

    Would still have preferred a kitchen instead though.

    Grumbling aside, the bath was actually pretty nice. It was more like a small swimming pool than a tub, which meant both of us could clean the smell from our last fight off us without waiting for the other person.

    Donna took way longer than me though, since she actually wanted to use the little jars of oils we found instead of just getting clean. I didn¡¯t complain though. After a quick check of the area I found there wasn¡¯t exactly much to do here so I decided to just lounge in the water while she did her thing.

    ¡°So what do you think we¡¯ll fight next?¡± I asked after it looked like we weren¡¯t going anywhere for a while.

    ¡°I have no idea.¡± Donna muttered. ¡°The last few monsters we faced were far more deadly than I would have thought we¡¯d be allowed to face. This was supposed to be a training tool, not a death pit filled with things straight out of Tartarus.¡±

    I perked up at that.

    ¡°Ooh, do you think we¡¯ll find a cyclops in here? Those were supposed to be in Tartarus, and I heard they were pretty strong.¡±

    ¡°Gods, I hope not. At this point I just want to get to the end so we can leave and see the sun again. It¡¯s not natural to spend this much time underground.¡±

    I just hummed idly at that, making a mental note not to take Donna with me when I went to visit Mars. I was pretty sure that most of the inhabited areas were either underground or in a canyon or cavern or something like that. If just spending a day underground was getting to her, she probably wouldn¡¯t enjoy sightseeing there.

    Of course I could be wrong.

    I¡¯d have to talk to Martian Manhunter about it later.

    The two of us finished with the bath and went digging through the rooms where we eventually found a sewing room complete with a bunch of extra fabric and what looked like basic half-finished clothes.

    I would have been fine with that but Donna had higher standards and took the time to not only finish the outfits, but even made alterations to mine so my tail would fit through comfortably. By the end of it the both of us were in some comfortable close fitting pants and sleeveless shirts. Her in a nice red color and mine in a dark blue that was suspiciously close to the underlayer of my Sayian armor but not as durable or form fitting.

    I tugged at part of my pant leg and was disappointed to find the material wasn¡¯t nearly as stretchy as my other clothes either when I saw Donna gathering up the scraps of our other clothes.

    ¡°What are you going to do with those?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to burn them.¡±

    I blinked at that. I hadn¡¯t really pegged her as a pyromaniac so there was probably a reason I was missing.

    ¡°Why? Is that some kind of ritual or prayer I don¡¯t know about?¡±

    She stopped and stared at me. ¡°Califa¡­these reek. I¡¯m going to do the world a favor and purge them with fire.¡±

    ¡­okay then¡­

    I really didn¡¯t like the look in her eyes. It somehow looked both completely hollow and somewhat crazed. I also got the feeling that she might snap if I told her the smell wasn¡¯t that bad, though that might just be because I was completely nose blind at this point.

    I very carefully looked away and let her go about her business.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 35

    "There is a cyclops down here! That''s so cool!"

    "Yes, Califa, I can see that! Now move!"

    I dodged out of the way as a few big rocks rained down around us and blasted one of the larger ones that almost hit me in the head with a ki blast.

    Once the resulting dust cleared up I was able to get a better look at the monster.

    My impression?

    Big.

    Not quite as big as an Oozaru, but it could definitely get into a fist fight with one and not look like a runt. It actually made me sad I couldn''t transform to fight it out in a kaiju battle, but it did make me consider looking more into how that fake moon ball technique worked just in case a situation like this popped up in the future.

    Not important right now.

    Because my second impression of the cyclops was that it was fast. At least for something that size. It only took a few steps for the giant to cross the room and try to swat me like a fly.

    I quickly flew over his hand and shot a Ki beam at his face that was blocked by him simply raising his other hand. Unlike with the manticore, there wasn''t even a mark where I hit.

    It didn''t have the same near invulnerability to blunt force the manticore did though, because Donna had used the cyclops''s focus on me as a distraction to fly around and punch him in the jaw. The giant''s head snapped to the side and after taking a second to shake off the impact, let out a pain filled bellow that shook the whole area.

    We made a pretty good team by now, enough so that we didn''t really need to talk about every little thing we needed the other to do. So when I saw she had successfully distracted the cyclops, I swung around to his back and kicked him as hard as I could behind the knee.

    I got another grunt of pain for my efforts, but more importantly, the cyclops collapsed forward and had to use both hands to stop himself from face planting into the floor. And then found himself being flung across the room until he smashed into a wall when Donna circled back around and crashed into his side just below his ribs at full speed.

    While we waited for the dust cloud to settle the two of us hovered close to the center of the room. "So, any secret weak spot or thing not to do like with the hydra?" I asked Donna. I didn''t think cyclops had anything like that but it didn''t hurt to make sure.

    "No, this should be a straightforward fight." Donna confirmed wryly. "As straightforward as fighting a child of Poseidon can be anyway."

    I paused.

    "Wait, is this guy really the son of a god? Not just some fake made by magic or whatever?"

    Cause that would change things, Poseidon was kinda a dick to the people that hurt his kids.

    Even if they deserved it.

    Thankfully Donna shook her head. "Everything in the Monster''s Den is made from magic, remember? But we were told everything in here had the same strength as the real thing. So it doesn''t make much of a difference for us now."

    So we weren''t going to piss off a god? That was good. I wasn''t in Poseidon''s weight class just yet and I had no idea what I''d do if he just turned me into a shrimp or something.

    "Cool, do you think ¨C oophf!"

    Before I could finish my sentence a rock the size of a truck hit me in the face.

    Right, head in the fight. No more miss nice saiyan.

    Since I was a little stuck between the cratered section of wall I had been smashed into and a literal boulder, I took a second to focus my Ki and then surged forward through the rock.

    Then I flew forward until I was at eye level with the cyclops but just out of arm''s reach and fanned my fingers near my face.

    "Hey you giant jerk! Watch this!" I shouted, giving Donna enough time to see what I was doing. "SOLAR FLARE!"

    -o-

    [Batman POV]

    "That''s the island there." Wonder Woman said, pointing to a small barren rock that was barely poking out of the ocean. But Batman didn''t argue and simply tilted the Javelin towards it. Seconds later something washed over his skin and the lifeless rock barely deserving being called an island transformed into something covered in lush green forests.

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Magic at work then. As expected of the one they were here to see.

    Wonder Woman had recognized the style of the mirror as something that could have come from Themyscira, but was not familiar with the mirror itself. Batman had allowed her to take it with her to see if any of the Amazons could identify it and its purpose.

    None were able to, but they did point them towards a possible creator.

    Something that could be problematic considering the past interactions both Wonder Woman and Superman had with them.

    So Batman was on his guard when the three of them exited the craft and were immediately met by a stunningly beautiful woman that had very clearly not been there moments before.

    "Diana! What brings you out to my little prison?" The purple haired sorceress asked saccharinely. "How''s your mother? Still a bootlicking little stick in the mud?"

    "Circe." Wonder Woman growled but didn''t respond further. Not that the sorceress seemed to care.

    "And Superman! It''s been a while since I''ve seen you as well. Keeping well?"

    "As much as I can." Superman replied politely. "We''ve got a few questions for you."

    "Questions, hmm? How interesting. But you haven''t introduced your third little friend here. Who is tall, dark, and broody here?" She asked, sidestepping Superman and making her way towards him only to be cut off by Wonder Woman.

    "Circe, Batman. Batman, Circe. She was banished to this island because she has a habit of turning people into animals, among other crimes."

    If Circe was offended by the introduction, she didn''t show it. Instead she smiled and played with a lock of hair. "Don''t forget to mention I''m really good at it."

    Batman ignored the flirting tone. "I know, I''ve read the Odyssey. Like we said, we have questions."

    "Oh, Odysseus! He was a fun one. To play with anyway, not the man himself. Diana I''m sure you''ve realized by now how men can be. So quick to call themselves heroes and such but when their base instincts are released they are¡­just such a bore."

    The Amazon wasn''t playing her game though. "We found an artifact. We need your help to figure out how to either use it or bring back the person it transported away."

    "Oh?" Circe drawled, checking over her fingernails. "And what''s in it for me?"

    "Three centuries off your imprisonment if you can tell us anything new about the object. Three luxuries of your choice if you can help us."

    That got the sorceress to lose the mocking, almost playful nature she was affecting. "Oh my, that is a prize. Hippolyta must be really serious about this. Fine, give it here."

    Batman obligingly handed the mirror over and the sorceress got to work.

    He had seen the process with several magic users already so instead of watching her hands, Batman watched Circe''s face.

    For the first few minutes she had a look of casual arrogance, no doubt expecting to quickly finish with her task. But it didn''t take long for that to change as Batman caught a quick look of shock, followed by confusion and concern, and settling into a look of intense focus.

    Almost an hour later, she was still inspecting the mirror.

    Ironically, the longer the Sorceress looked the artifact over, the better Batman felt. Because all the other magic users he had look over the mirror quickly gave up after half that time.

    Circe might be the one that finally gave them a lead.

    "You found something?" He asked once the sorceress was finished and had moved to rejoin them.

    He was ignored though as Circe went straight to Wonder Woman.

    "Diana, where did you get this?"

    "Batman recovered it after it was stolen from a museum in Man''s World. Why do you recognize it?"

    "You would think so. There''s not exactly a lot of mirrors touched by a god with enchantments like this lying around. Especially because I recognize the style of the enchanter."

    Superman perked up. "Great, can you tell us anything about them?"

    Circe scoffed. "I would hope so, it''s my style after all."

    "Your style? You''re saying you made the mirror?!"

    "It would appear so¡­the one problem is that I have absolutely no recollection of making anything like this."

    "Could you have forgotten?" Wonder Woman asked. "It wouldn''t be shocking for someone who''s been around as long as you."

    "Cute." Circe rolled her eyes. "But no. like I said, this was touched by a god. I would have needed to have been there during the mirror''s creation. And for people like me, meeting a god isn''t something you just forget about."

    Batman could see why Circe had been shaken up. He took incredible steps to make sure of the integrity of his own mind. To have that integrity thrown into question would be incredibly distressing.

    That wasn''t his issue to deal with at the moment.

    "Can you use it? Send us to where it transports people or bring someone back?"

    "Oh you figured out what it does already? Hmm, how surprising. But no, I cannot simply call a person back. The transfer sends the target to a rather large dreamspace. Unless the person you are looking for didn''t move the entire time they were there, it''s impossible to pull them out that way."

    "That way. So there is a method you could use."

    "Well, yes. You''re a smart one, aren''t you?" Circe said, turning the mirror over in her hands. "There are three other ways to release someone from the mirror. A spell that calls a person from a specific room that doesn''t seem to work anymore. A condition that will release everything inside once a certain task is completed. And finally a safety net I can use whenever, which is interesting because it seems like the mirror was made for you, Dianna. And I''d certainly never make something like this without some¡­let''s call them additions."

    "Made for me? I''ve never seen anything like it before though."

    Before they could get sidetracked Batman jumped back in. "The safety net, activate it."

    Circe scowled. "Watch your tone, little man. Besides, why should I? I''ve already earned three centuries off my sentence and as much as I''d like a few things to spruce the place up, I don''t see why I should help anyone involved with Hippolyta."

    Batman stepped forward, ready to argue but Superman beat him to it by placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

    The Caped Crusader glared at his friend but after a silent argument forced himself to relax and took a step back.

    "Circe, the person who was taken into the mirror was a little girl. A child. We just want to make sure she is safe before anything happens to her."

    The sorceress softened a bit. "A child? Well then I guess I can excuse your friend''s poor manners. Very well, don''t let anyone say I don''t have a heart."

    With a wave of her hand, the mirror levitated to the ground while Circe gathered up some greenish energy. Then with a light flourish she struck the mirror with the gathered spell where¡­nothing happened.

    Circe frowned and repeated the spell. And then again when that failed as well.

    Batman had to lock down his emotions. Something was obviously wrong.

    "What''s going on? Can you not cast the spell or something?" Wonder Woman asked.

    Circe cast the spell one final time before shaking her head in disgust. "Or something. I cast the spell perfectly, but the mirror is enchanted to only activate the safety net when I cast the spell."

    "So what''s going wrong?" Superman asked.

    "The mirror doesn''t think I am me."

    -o-

    [Califa POV]

    Donna and I stood panting over the body of the cyclops.

    This one was definitely the hardest monster we''d faced so far and it showed. The room was absolutely demolished, covered in rubble kicked up from the massive collisions, burns from my Ki attacks, and craters from where the cyclops either missed a punch or one of us ended up making when those punches hit something.

    And he ended up hitting us a lot.

    Honestly, we probably should have lost this fight. Only the fact that Solar Flare let us get a lot of free hits really early on let us stack up enough damage to bring the big guy down. Without that¡­we would have needed to back off and think of another way to beat him.

    But we won in the end so I wasn''t going to complain too much.

    "So what do you think? Go forward or what?"

    Donna shook her head. "We should go back to the rest area and recuperate. Neither of us are ready to face anything considered stronger than the cyclops right now. Besides, we need to remake our clothing, again."

    Yeah, that was another thing.

    Turns out being slammed into rocks at very high speeds was just as rough on clothing as ever and our outfits were destroyed again. I was missing nearly an entire pant leg and had holes all over the place and Donna''s outfit looked like someone had taken a cheese grater to it from the time she was sent skidding over the floor.

    "Maybe we should make two sets? So that way we have something to change into afterwards?"

    "That''s not a bad idea, although I don''t know if I want to consider what''s worse than a son of Poseidon."

    I thought about it for a moment. "Maybe a minotaur? We haven''t run into one of them yet and if I remember one of them was supposed to be the son of Zeus."

    Donna groaned. "By the gods I hope not. I just want to find the end of this place so we can return to the surface. I really miss the sky by now."

    I shrugged and started staggering off back towards the door we came from. I couldn''t say anything about the sky but I was really missing a nice big juicy steak. Hopefully we could find a way out of this mirror soon so I could show Donna what she was missing.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 36

    ¡°So do you think he tastes like cow or human?¡± I asked Donna as I wiped some blood out of my eye. ¡°Or do you think he tastes like a mix of both?¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously asking me that right now!?¡± The Amazon panted as she pulled herself off the ground. ¡°And it¡¯s still a conjured monster, it will taste the same as everything else.¡±

    Like crap then. That sucked.

    ¡°I meant the real one. Besides, he''s still digging himself out of the rubble.¡± I looked at the shifting pile of rocks that had covered the Minotaur right after he had punted the both of us through another wall.

    ¡°I don¡¯t believe you. And would you really eat something that looks like a person?¡± Donna sounded vaguely disgusted.

    I shrugged, keeping my eyes where the Minotaur was. He was almost free again. ¡°I mean if it was that or starve then yeah. And with how many different aliens there are out there, body shape is a weird line to draw. I think it¡¯s easier to limit myself to things that can¡¯t think for themselves.¡±

    ¡°Why not something easier to prove? Like if they can talk.¡±

    ¡°Being able to talk doesn¡¯t mean something is intelligent.¡± I scoffed. ¡°Politicians exist, you know?¡± There was an explosion of dust as our opponent managed to break free of his rocky prison. He looked around briefly before spotting us and roaring a challenge. ¡°Looks like break time is over. Ready for round four?¡±

    ¡°Do I have much of a choice?¡±

    Donna wasn¡¯t fooling me. She might sound reluctant, but she was smiling just as much as I was!

    ¡°Nope!¡±

    And that was all the time for conversation we had before a giant bull-man crash landed in front of us and tried to punch my head through the floor.

    But I had gotten a lot of practice fighting things bigger and stronger than me at this point. And this was the third time the Minotaur had tried this exact attack.

    This time instead of trying to block or deflect it, I threw myself forward under the punch.

    His fist passed by close enough that I could feel it pass through my hair but it put me right under his armpit. A nice soft target I couldn¡¯t resist punching as hard as I could at the same time Donna kicked him in the back of the knee.

    We were a pretty good team by now and our timing was perfect, but we still barely managed to do more than bruise our opponent despite how hard we hit.

    It was a bit of a problem.

    But with him off balance, we took the opportunity to get several quick hits in before he recovered. I went hard at his face, neck, torso, and arm joints where I could while Donna focused on going at his ribs or trying to break his kneecaps. Pretty much anything we could do to not let him build up momentum.

    But after a bit the bull-man managed to recover enough to swipe at Donna and clip her almost hard enough to send her through another wall. At her startled cry, I buried my fist in his gut and blasted him with another Ki attack that sent him flying across the room again.

    ¡°Any new ideas?¡± I asked while rubbing my now sore hand. I think I might have broken a finger punching him that time.

    ¡°Nothing that tops you dropping the ceiling on top of him. What about you?¡± Donna winced as she rolled a shoulder.

    ¡°Still trying. Haven¡¯t gotten it yet.¡± I said as I tried and failed to form my Ki into a cutting edge.

    Ever since the Manticore I had been putting a lot more effort into trying to recreate a cutting technique like the Destructo Disk or Spirit Sword. So far it resulted in a whole lot of nothing besides the realization that either Krillin was one heck of a genius or Humans were just naturally better than Saiyans at fine Ki manipulation. Possibly both.

    ¡°Well try harder, cause we¡¯re going to be the ones beaten at this rate.¡±

    I didn¡¯t get a chance to respond as the Minotaur roared again and came charging at us.

    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    -o-

    ¡°This doesn¡¯t make any sense! Everything matches! So. Why. Won¡¯t. You. WORK?!¡± The scream was followed by the sound of clay breaking as Circe presumably threw a bowl or pot against a wall.

    The Sorceress had taken the mirror¡¯s rejection as a personal affront and had thrown herself into discovering why something supposedly made by herself didn¡¯t consider her its creator.

    And despite the several rants she had shouted out after each failure, Batman felt satisfied that they were at least getting closer to finding a way to reach Califa. None of the other experts he had talked to had gotten even this far and the only magic user he could think of more knowledgeable than Circe and willing to help without issue was Dr. Fate, who was still unavailable.

    So, slow as it was going, progress was progress.

    ¡°You seem happy.¡±

    Batman turned to face his two friends with a raised eyebrow. ¡®Happy¡¯ was a description that others rarely applied to him, afterall.

    ¡°Seriously, once Circe told us she could get Califa out once she figures out why the mirror doesn¡¯t think she¡¯s her, it was like a weight dropped off you.¡± Superman defended himself, throwing his hands up a little. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you relax a bit.¡±

    ¡°Not that we are any different.¡± Wonder Woman added. ¡°Circe is stubborn and prideful enough that she will keep trying until she succeeds even if my Mother didn¡¯t offer a reward. At this point it¡¯s only a matter of time until Califa is returned to us.¡±

    There was another frustrated scream and the sound of more breaking pottery.

    ¡°...though I will admit, hearing Circe so frustrated after all the headaches her plans have caused is a bit enjoyable.¡±

    It was probably a bit vindictive of the Amazon, but Batman wasn¡¯t a stranger to taking enjoyment from the frustration of several of his own Rogues gallery. The more irredeemable and less tragic members, anyway.

    But when a scowling and slightly disheveled Circe shoved her way out of her workshop any amusement was pushed aside for the moment.

    ¡°Well I¡¯ve got good news, bad news, and worse news.¡± The Sorceress announced tersely as Batman¡¯s stomach fell to somewhere around his ankles. ¡°Which do you want first?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the worst news?¡± He demanded.

    ¡°I found out why the mirror is refusing to work for me. It probably comes from another plane of reality and that me decided to use a karma link to determine who could control it. I¡¯m guessing she is a bit more of a goody-goody than I am and unless I manage to change my karma quite a bit the mirror will keep rejecting me.¡±

    Another plane of reality, or in other words, an alternate dimension. That would explain where the mirror came from and how so many prestigious magic users were ignorant of it and its function. Unfortunately it meant it would be nearly impossible to track down the actual creator without more information to go on, let alone the challenges of dimensional travel by themselves.

    ¡°And the bad news?¡± Wonder Woman asked.

    ¡°I tripped a safeguard that did something to the mirror. I have no idea what it did either.¡± Circe scowled, ¡°And before Big Blue over there asks, the good news is that the release condition changed while I was poking around. As long as the girl inside can survive whatever that safeguard did, then she should be released on the next magical convergence. Dawn in other words.¡±

    ¡°Heh, I guess that was a little predictable.¡± Superman chuckled and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

    Hope and dread warred unpleasantly in Batman¡¯s gut at the news. As long as Califa could keep safe for a little bit longer, she would be freed. Dawn was only a few hours away.

    And while waiting was excruciating for all three heroes, there was simply nothing more for them to do. So when Circe moved the mirror to a wide open space, all four of them watched the magical object with varying degrees of intensity.

    True to the sorceress¡¯s word, just as dawn broke over the horizon the mirror glowed silver and a bright flash forced Batman to shield his eyes. One thing that he noticed immediately though was the figure that appeared was much bigger than the missing Saiyan child.

    ¡°AHAHAHAHA! After ten thousand years I¡¯m free! Time to conquer Earth!¡±

    -o-

    ¡°Hah, hah, haaa¡­think we got him?¡± I panted and gripped my almost definitely broken arm.

    ¡°Why do you keep¡­keep asking?¡± Donna grit out, holding her own injured shoulder. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t be moving¡­if we did.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m an optimist.¡±

    Sure enough, the Minotaur shoved the new bits of rubble of himself and roared again. But he wasn¡¯t looking too much better than we were. He was covered in a bunch of his own wounds and was missing a horn. Too bad that while he looked just as bad as we did, he didn¡¯t seem to have any as bad as we did. I was down an arm and a few more punches would probably be the end for my other fist too, and Donna was forced to keep flying to compensate for her broken foot in addition to her shoulder.

    ¡°Well, miss optimist, did you figure out how you did that trick yet?¡±

    ¡°Kinda, but I need to practice more. I got lucky cutting off his horn and I don¡¯t think I can reliably pull it off before one of us gets really hurt.¡± I had managed to pull off something like a Spirit Sword to cut off the Minotaur¡¯s horn, but even I had to admit it was mostly luck. ¡°We¡¯re going to have to try something else.¡± I replied and then explained my plan.

    Donna sighed but began looking around the ruined arena we were fighting in for what we were looking for. ¡°You come up with the weirdest ideas.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not weird, I read it in a book!¡±

    Donna looked at me skeptically. ¡°...You read?¡±

    ¡°Rude!¡±

    I read all the time!

    Kinda.

    I had the memories of doing so, anyway. It was how I got some of my best ideas!

    But this wasn¡¯t the time to argue about that. We still had a Minotaur to deal with and as the least injured of the two, it was my job to hold him off until Donna could complete the Plan.

    I fired off a Ki beam that was little more than a lightshow at this point. I was simply too tired to put more energy into it, but it did its job of getting the Minotaur¡¯s attention on me. He roared again and char- well, more like limped towards me while ignoring Donna. I guess all of us were on our last legs.

    The fight¡­was honestly not super impressive compared to what we had been doing even a few minutes ago. I wasn¡¯t flying around blasting him with Ki attacks or darting in and showering him with punches or kicks and he wasn¡¯t leaping forward and shaking the whole room with the force of his attacks.

    I was mostly just taunting him by poking at his wounds while dodging out of the way of his tired swings. At least I was until the bit of rubble I was standing on shifted and I found myself falling painfully on my tail right in front of him. Putting me in the perfect position for him to grab and try squeezing the life out of me.

    ¡°Don¡¯t want to rush you Donna, but I could use a hand!¡± I yelled, letting out a pained squeak when the Minotaur put pressure on my bad arm. Nothing I could do about it besides grit my teeth and push through the pain though.

    Luckily for me, Donna didn¡¯t take much longer. Just when I was about to yell for her again, the minotaur jerked forward with a pained grunt. It almost immediately dropped me and swung a hand at the Amazon. Going by the pained yelp, I guessed he managed to hit her.

    But if the Minotaur wasn¡¯t dead yet, that meant the Plan hadn¡¯t fully worked. I picked myself off the ground and looked at the bull-man. Sure enough, Donna had stabbed the broken off horn into his side, but it looked like it got stuck before it got deep enough. Neither one of us were in any shape to try again either.

    Well, time to gamble then.

    I dragged up the last bit of Ki I could muster and shot the horn. It barely did more than give the sharp bone a bit of a shove, but it was enough. The Minotaur staggered one more time before falling to the floor and turning the solid black all monsters did when they died.

    I collapsed, completely spent, but with a huge smile on my face. ¡°Heh, we won! The Plan worked perfectly!¡±

    Donna just groaned and rolled onto her back. ¡°Great Hera, I am so done with this place. Whatever is at the end better be worth it.¡±

    Meh, she sounded grumpy but I could see a smile on her face anyway. She wasn¡¯t fooling me.

    Now just to rest up a bit and see what was next for us¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 37

    Some time later Donna and I had patched and cleaned ourselves up the best we could and shuffled over to the door leading past the Minotaur¡¯s arena.

    It wasn¡¯t any different than the other doors we went through after beating one of the monsters so far, but this time felt different because we actually had some lasting injuries from our last fight. Yeah, there had been some close calls and we got beaten up. But my arm was still messed up and Donna couldn¡¯t stand on one foot. And considering if we had to fight another monster it would be tougher than the Minotaur¡­

    Well, we basically agreed to just see what was beyond the door and back off if it looked like another fight was waiting. Part of me didn¡¯t like it, but I wasn¡¯t stupid enough to think that we could handle another fight without healing up a bit.

    Not that we needed to worry.

    The two of us pushed open the doors to find a brightly lit room that reminded me of the temples on Themyscira. No labyrinth or monster waiting for us.

    ¡°Is this a special area like the rest one?¡± I asked Donna.

    ¡°I have no idea. I¡¯ve never seen something like this down here before.¡±

    So this was new? That was kinda exciting.

    ¡°Let¡¯s check it out then!¡±

    ¡°Wait - Califa!¡±

    I obviously didn¡¯t wait and happily wandered into the room. It was pretty empty though. Just a bunch of pillars and a depression in the middle with some kind of altar. With nothing better to do, I wandered right up to it and looked around. Nothing popped out though.

    ¡°Well that¡¯s lame.¡± I was hoping there would at least be some cool treasure or something. Oh, well, couldn¡¯t win them all I guess.

    I gave the altar a small pat and turned to look around the edges of the room. Maybe Donna could figure something out while I ¨C

    I paused as the altar lit up with a bright light.

    That was unexpected!

    I jumped back to where Donna was watching from and did my best to block out the glare, paying special attention to my Ki sense just in case this was something trying to be sneaky. My Amazon buddy did the same, flying just off the ground and shifting so most of her injuries were hidden behind me or another part of her body.

    The light eventually died off and no attack came for us, so I tentatively lowered my hand to look back towards the altar.

    Nothing about the slab of rock had changed but now there was a woman with purple hair and a green dress hovering over it. Menaci¨C

    No, actually she was looking pretty distracted. Not paying any attention to either of us or the surroundings.

    ¡°Is that Aunt Circe?¡± Donna asked in surprise, but all I could do was shrug. I mean I kinda recognised the name but how was I supposed to know who was her aunt or not.

    ¡°Maybe? Does she show up here a lot?¡±

    ¡°...no, no one besides Diana ever¡­ I just guessed based on her outfit and what Diana¡¯s told me.¡±

    Ouch, that was kinda sad. And she said this was her aunt? Well I guess my own family wasn¡¯t much better¡­

    ¡°W-well, let¡¯s go say hi. Maybe she can tell us how to get out of here.¡± I did my best to not make Donna feel any more awkward than she probably already did and headed towards the floating woman. Hopefully ¨C

    ¡°Greetings and congratulations Diana! You have¨C¡± The woman - Circe - boomed suddenly, only to completely stop when I jerked backwards and go back to looking completely distracted.

    I looked to the floor.

    ¡­I wonder.

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    I took a step forward.

    ¡°Greetings and congratulations Diana!¡±

    I took a step back.

    ¡°...¡±

    Forward.

    ¡°Greetings and congrat-¡±

    Back.

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Greetings and -¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Gree-¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Gree-¡±

    ¡°Gree-¡±

    ¡°Gree-¡±

    ¡°...heh.¡±

    ¡°Will you stop that?¡± Donna scolded me with a solid slap to the back of my head. ¡°I want to hear what she says.¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± I grumbled and rubbed the sore spot mulishly. Ruin my fun, why don¡¯t you?

    ¡°Greetings and congratulations Diana!¡± Circe started again, staring directly at me. ¡°You have managed to complete your training and now qualify as an Amazon Warrior in full standing.¡± There was a small pause and Circe¡¯s tone sounded a lot more worried. ¡°I¡¯d like to say there was a party being organized in your honor, but something has triggered my protections and I can not guarantee you will be safe after leaving the mirror. The best I can do is reverse the time difference between here and the outside world. Instead of time moving slower here you will have roughly a month before you are ejected regardless of if it is safe or not. If we cannot deal with the issue and retrieve you normally, then I am sorry. You may be required to defend yourself immediately after you exit. Use this time to grow stronger.¡±

    So something messed with the mirror? That didn¡¯t sound good. But wait¡­

    ¡°What about Donna?¡± Circe hadn¡¯t mentioned anything about her coming with me. Or even that she was here at all.

    If Circe heard me she didn¡¯t bother to show it. Right, magical recording. Instead there was another little pause before she started speaking again in a normal tone. ¡°Now that you¡¯ve completed your training you have a choice to make about your reward, a small spark of Divinity. You can have a minor weapon forged by Hephaestus or you can imbue something inside the ¨C not what I would have picked, but that is your choice.

    ¡°Now you don¡¯t actually have to leave the mirror just yet. There are more challenges waiting for you, but they are much more difficult than anything you have faced so far. Things like the Sphinx and Manticore wait below along with even more powerful monsters.¡±

    Wait, Manticore? But we already fought that¡­

    I don¡¯t remember seeing a Sphinx either.

    ¡°Good luck, and I can¡¯t wait to spoil you for completing your trials! Your mother will be so jealous I was the first one to congratulate you!¡± Circe gave one last wave before vanishing in the same flash of light she appeared in.

    Holy shit, did we sequence break the dungeon? That must have been when I blasted through the floors to speed things up. But why did the recording skip over asking what we wanted to do with the spark? It was like¡­oh. Oh, no.

    I turned to look at Donna who had gone completely pale at Circe¡¯s message.

    ¡°...Am I¡­not real?¡± She asked in a small voice.

    We didn¡¯t have a choice in what to do with the spark because it had already been used on something.

    Or rather¡­someone.

    -o-

    ¡°I mean is it really that big a deal?¡± I asked for the millionth time, fists curled under my chin as I watched Donna pace back and forth for the third day in a row.

    It was really getting old.

    ¡°Yes it¡¯s a big deal! I just found out I¡¯m not a real person! That¡¯s why I kept going into the monster den after Diana stopped coming. It was the last thing I was ordered to do and then to top it all off I ended up stealing a piece of Divinity! This literally could not be a bigger deal!¡±

    ¡°I mean no one else was going to use it. And even if you weren¡¯t a real person before, you are now. So does it really matter?¡± I muttered again, completing our new daily ritu- no, you know what? We weren¡¯t doing this anymore.

    ¡°Okay, time for moping is over.¡± I declared, getting up to grab Donna by the hand and start dragging her towards the forest. I wouldn¡¯t tell my Amazonian buddy, but it really was nice not being stuck underground all day. ¡°Training time starts now.¡±

    ¡°Training?! Califa, I¡¯m having a literal existential crisis, I don¡¯t care about training right now!¡±

    ¡°Nope! None of that.¡± I snapped back. ¡°Remember what Circe said? Something was messing with the outside of the mirror. We¡¯ve got less than a month to make sure we are ready to deal with whatever it is. You can continue your breakdown after we get out of this, kick whatever is waiting for us¡¯s butt, and I¡¯ve gotten you to try a Big Belly Burger.¡±

    Donna glared at me but allowed herself to be pulled along anyway.

    Good.

    We were going to need all the time we could get to both heal our injuries and get stronger.

    And if we were too tired from training we couldn¡¯t worry about stupid questions like ¡®am I a real person?¡¯ or ¡®do I deserve to be alive?¡¯. We had better things to do.

    Like figure out techniques that still didn¡¯t work right!

    -o-

    Three weeks later it seemed like my idea paid off.

    I doubted Donna was suddenly fine with everything but she was no longer moping in corners anymore. So I¡¯d call it a win.

    Other than that though, things weren¡¯t exactly perfect though I couldn¡¯t complain too much.

    I was failing miserably at completing my new technique. And what was worse was that I knew how close I was to getting it. All I would need was one spark of inspiration or even just seeing someone else use Ki in a similar way and I was sure I¡¯d have the whole thing down.

    Unfortunately for me, that didn¡¯t look like that was going to happen anytime soon.

    So instead I spent most of my time sparring with Donna and preparing for our exit.

    This was an opportunity I could only hope wouldn¡¯t happen often enough to be a theme, because getting trapped in a magical device kinda sucked even if this one had been a bunch of fun,so I had to take advantage while I still could.

    ¡°Do you really need the cape?¡± Donna asked as she helped with the last of the stitching.

    And by helped, I meant basically did all of it after I proved I was more dangerous to myself with a needle than any scrap of cloth.

    ¡°Of course we need the cape. It¡¯s what pulls the whole outfit together!¡±

    ¡°Sure, sure¡­wait, what do you mean we?¡±

    ¡°Well obviously you need to be the legs. But if whoever is messing with the mirror outside can see that, it won¡¯t work nearly as well. So we need a cape to hide you until we can figure out if we need to beat them up.¡± I explained.

    ¡°...why would I ever agree to something so¡­¡± Donna failed her hands around, apparently looking for the right words. ¡°So childish?!¡±

    I smiled innocently at her.

    ¡°Five words. I¡¯m calling in my favor.¡±

    My Amazonian buddy froze, staring at me in disbelief. ¡°Is that why you never made a request after you won our last spar? Because you wanted to use it for this stupid thing?!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not stupid if it works.¡± I shot back. ¡°Also yes. Now the big question is are you going to keep your word like a true warrior or are you going to back out just because you don¡¯t like the task?¡±

    Donna glared at me for a few seconds before she picked up the discarded cape and started stitching again. ¡°I¡¯ll do it, but just so you know? I¡¯m going to get you back for this.¡±

    I just grinned at her.

    Unfortunately for her I was pretty shameless so anything she came up with wasn¡¯t likely to bother me that much. And if she did manage something? That was future-me¡¯s problem.

    ¡°Cool. We should also probably practice a little bit so we don¡¯t tip over if we move unexpectedly.¡±

    Donna sighed and dropped her head into her hands.

    ¡°Gods, I regret this already.¡±

    -o-

    A few days later we noticed the surroundings were beginning to break down and figured it was getting close to the time we would get let out.

    So with little time to waste, I hopped on Donna¡¯s shoulders and made sure the costume we put together looked alright.

    Then all we had to do was wait until it was time. There was a tingly feeling very similar to what it felt like when the mirror hit me in the face the first time and the both of us were suddenly somewhere else.

    ¡°AHAHAHAHA!¡± I cackled menacingly. ¡°After ten thousand years I¡¯m free! Time to conquer Earth!¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 38

    Near complete silence was the answer to my entrance. Only the normal sounds of tropical birds and insects in the background and the distant sound of the ocean confirming that I actually had been transported after the mirror dimension-thingy collapsed.

    Honestly? Pretty disappointing.

    The Circe hologram had made it sound like the mirror was under attack or something I was expecting someone to be ¨C oh, there they were.

    The real Circe - I assumed anyway - was standing off to my left along with the familiar trio of Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman. None of them looking like they were doing anything more than standing around waiting for something to happen. Which was weird because the warning mentioned something triggered some protections, but it didn¡¯t look like there had been a fight anywhere¡­unless¡­

    Crap, how badly did I break the mirror by sequence breaking the labyrinth? Maybe if I don¡¯t bring it up they won¡¯t know¡­

    ¡°This is the girl that was trapped in the mirror?¡± Circe snorted. ¡°Well, she¡¯s certainly ambitious. Shame about her fashion-sense though¡­¡±

    Well screw you too lady. ¡°Hey! It isn¡¯t exactly easy making something without the right tools. If anything it¡¯s your fault for not putting them in there!¡±

    ¡°Califa, is that really you?¡± Wonder Woman asked before everything devolved into an argument.

    I grinned at her and spread my arms and by extension, the cape - so I looked bigger and more imposing. ¡°Of course. After years of imprisonment I am now free to conquer the galaxy! Earth will be the first of many worlds in my new galactic empire!¡±

    ¡°Galactic empire, is it?¡± Superman chuckled before pointing below me. ¡°And who¡¯s your friend?¡±

    I glared at him. ¡°X-ray vision is cheating.¡± because there was no other way he could have known ¨C

    ¡°You moved the cape. We can all see her.¡± Batman pointed out.

    Donna responded by immediately pushing me off her shoulders and shrugging out of the rest of the costume. ¡°Thank the gods that¡¯s over with.¡± She muttered before turning back to one person in particular. ¡°Hello Diana. Do you, uh, do you remember me?¡±

    I caught a few uncomfortable glances passing between most of the adults while a complicated expression formed on Wonder Woman¡¯s face.

    ¡°No. I¡¯m sorry to say we¡¯ve never met before.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    Now it was Donna¡¯s turn to have a complicated expression. We had practiced a few different ways this meeting could go. Wonder Woman completely not recognising Donna at all wasn¡¯t one we really considered.

    I noticed Wonder Woman opening and closing her mouth like she was trying to figure out how to say something, but she ran out of time. While I had managed to drag Donna out of moping constantly about the whole ¡®not being a person before stealing a spark of divinity¡¯ thing, the fact Wonder Woman left her behind was still a bit of a berserk button.

    Something Wonder Woman found out when Donna let the intrusive thoughts win and punched her in the face hard enough to send her flying through the air before charging after her screaming the whole time.

    I sighed at that but didn¡¯t move to help either way.

    If Donna wanted to vent by punching her friend in the face until they worked everything out, I wasn¡¯t going to stop her.

    ¡°Anyway, while we¡¯re waiting for that to wrap up - how are things? How long was I gone and did anything cool happen?¡± I asked the tense looking heroes.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think we should do something about that?¡± Superman asked, still watching the fight.

    I saw that look. Let other people have fun fighting each other, dammit! ¡°Nah, it¡¯s fine. Anyway, while they¡¯re getting acquainted, details! I wanna know.¡±

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    ¡°You were gone for two weeks from our perspective.¡± Batman informed me. ¡°Though it looks like it was longer from yours. You¡¯ve grown.¡±

    I preened and straightened up a bit.

    He was right! I had finally gone through a growth spurt and didn¡¯t have to worry about all the random aches that came with it! At least until the next one.

    Now I was just as tall as Donna, which made sparring much more fun since she couldn¡¯t just hit me beyond what my shorter limbs could reach, but I noticed I was still shorter than even Circe, the smallest of the welcoming group.

    ¡°Yeah, Wonder Woman¡¯s Aunt Circe mentioned time worked differently inside the mirror.¡± There was a choking sound as the sorceress in question swallowed wrong and started coughing. ¡°She gave us a message that someone was messing with the mirror and sped up time for us. I was in there for¡­¡±

    I paused while I counted the time. Batman and Superman looked worried and Circe was still coughing.

    ¡°...thirty five days? I think? We spent a while underground, it was hard to keep track.¡±

    The two heroes sighed in relief at the only slightly longer timeframe, then winced when I mentioned Donna had been in there for years.

    ¡°About that¡­what Diana wanted to say¨C¡±

    ¡°No, hold up! Go back!¡± Circe interrupted, finally getting over her coughing fit. ¡°What was that about me being that brat¡¯s aunt? Why would anyone come up with such an obvious lie?!¡±

    I frowned at her. ¡°I mean that¡¯s what Donna said you were when we saw that magic recording. And you mentioned that you couldn¡¯t wait to rub it in her mom¡¯s face that you were the first to congratulate her for passing warrior training so I thought¡­¡±

    ¡°Urg, well now I definitely know why I couldn¡¯t bypass the karma link. Me and Hippolyta getting along?¡± She actually gave a full body shudder at the thought, but I was confused.

    ¡°We determined the mirror originally is from another reality.¡± Batman helpfully explained. ¡°What Wonder Woman was trying to say earlier is that there was no way for her to be the same person your friend thought she was.¡±

    ¡°Huh, I wonder if that is going to make her abandonment issues better or worse.¡± I pondered. On the one hand, her Diana probably didn¡¯t just abandon her for no reason. On the other, the only other person she thought she knew was actually a stranger.

    While I was thinking about what to do about that, there was a boom in the distance from one of the Amazons being slammed into something solid.

    ¡°Looks like they finished.¡± Superman noted. ¡°Let¡¯s go get them and get your friend up to speed.¡±

    ¡°Great! And while you¡¯re at it, get off my island!¡± Circe snapped at us. ¡°I need to go get very drunk so I can forget all about today. Friendly enough to be called that brat¡¯s aunt? What a nightmare.¡±

    ¡°Kay, bye then!¡± I gave her a lazy wave and flew off towards where Donna and Wonder Woman were.

    If she didn¡¯t want us around that was fine. I was just going to grab Donna and drag her to the first all you could eat buffet I could find.

    A month without eating was hell. I couldn¡¯t even imagine not doing it for years.

    -o-

    ¡°By the gods, I can¡¯t believe I did that¡­¡± Donna whined as she hid her face in her hands. ¡°I just¡­and she was¡­and then she wasn¡¯t even the right person!¡±

    ¡°Donna, I told you, you are forgiven. You couldn¡¯t have known and thought I had abandoned you. It¡¯s no surprise you were emotional. Besides,¡± Wonder Woman shifted to give me an amused look. ¡°It¡¯s nothing I haven¡¯t dealt with, with this one before. If anything you gave me more time before attacking than she would have.¡±

    For some reason that made Donna blush even more and attempt to hide her head even lower.

    I simply ignored her and focused on the mound of potstickers in front of me. Food was more important than banter at the moment.

    ¡°Just be careful in the future. Most people would be seriously hurt if you hit them that hard.¡± Superman warned as he focused on his own food, causally blocking my attempt to swipe some of his chicken when I thought he wasn¡¯t paying attention.

    So I switched targets to Batman, who didn¡¯t seem to be all that interested in eating in the first place. Oh well, more for me.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t! I know how to hold back, it''s just¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not blaming you.¡± Batman reinforced. ¡°Just warning you for the future. It¡¯s something we remind Califa of from time to time.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah. Don¡¯t hit someone hard unless they prove they can take it.¡± I waved him off. ¡°Talk later. Food now. And Donna! Try something! You haven''t eaten anything in years. I want to know your favorites so we can get you caught up.¡± In a moment of great self sacrifice, I traded my plate filled with some kind of stir fry with her still empty one and shoved a fork in her hand.

    ¡°She¡¯s right, you know.¡± Wonder Woman commented. ¡°If you want to try a bit of everything you should start now before Califa gets us kicked out. Heroes or not, that only buys us so much goodwill when faced with a hungry Saiyan.¡±

    I could only grumble at that.

    Stupid lying restaurants. If you¡¯re going to have an all you can eat buffet, you should expect to feed someone all they can eat. It''s in the name!

    ¡°I suppose¡­¡± Donna looked uncertainly at her plate but eventually caved and took a bite. Everyone paused to see how the younger Amazon would react to her first meal, even me.

    The effect was immediate.

    As soon as the flavorful sauces hit her tongue Donna froze before looking down at the stir fry like it was the most amazing thing in the world. Then she started shoveling the food into her mouth as fast as possible, barely taking the time to chew. In less than a minute Donna had practically cleared her plate and began looking for more.

    Recognizing the danger, I hovered protectively over my own food and focused on scarfing down my own food while Donna began scavenging from the other three, who were much more accommodating of her stealing food than they were me.

    I¡¯d have complained about favoritism, but I didn¡¯t miss the little glances Donna was sending my way.

    If I showed the slightest weakness, she would strike.

    It didn¡¯t take long before both of us were scraping empty plates, which meant Donna turned her attention from our table to the buffet line not too far away. My eyes widened when I realized the rest of my food was still in danger from the hungry Amazon.

    We locked gazes, and then by an unspoken signal both rushed to refill our plates before everything was eaten by our hungry rival. As I dashed towards the rest of the food I only barely caught Superman sighing in the background.

    ¡°Wonderful, now there are two of them¡­¡±

    In the end we did get kicked out of the restaurant, but for once it was because we had actually finished off all the food they had cooked up and not because they felt like we had been eating too much. I wasn¡¯t completely full, but it felt good getting a good meal after going without for so long and especially seeing Donna enjoy herself.

    ¡°If that¡¯s the kind of food you eat regularly, I can see why you were so upset about nothing in the mirror tasting good.¡± My sparring buddy commented as we left.

    ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m going to show you all kinds of great things.¡± I promised. ¡°Next time we¡¯ll get the Flash to show us a place. He¡¯s really good at recommendations.¡±

    Wonder Woman sighed behind us. ¡°Try not to surprise him. Dealing with your appetite is hard enough. The two of you might traumatize him.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure he¡¯s compensated while dealing with those two.¡± Batman mentioned. ¡°At least until something more permanent can be established.¡±

    I perked up at that. More food with Batman covering the bill meant we could get as much as we wanted! But first¡­

    ¡°Okay, now for dessert! Donna, time to introduce you to the wonderful stuff known as ice cream!¡±

    ¡°Jeeze, they can still eat more? Where do they put it?¡± Superman commented, but I was busy dragging Donna off by her wrist. Ice cream awaited!

 Growing Pains - Chapter 39

    As much as I wanted to drag Donna all over the continent and introduce her to my favorite places and people, it was recommended by Wonder Woman that she take a few days to slowly get acclimated to the modern world now that she wasn¡¯t stuck in a magical mirror.

    Donna, like the <s>responsible</s> boring person she could be sometimes, agreed and was now on Themyscira getting a similar crash course on what you were, and were not, supposed to do on Earth while probably being told she had a home there if she just wanted to become part of the Amazons.

    I wasn¡¯t about to get in the way of her finally being able to meet what she considered her people just yet. I knew from our talks how much she wanted to meet other Amazons and be a part of them.

    I would just drag her out on a few adventures if she didn¡¯t leave on her own in a few weeks.

    But that did mean I was once again left on my own with nothing to do once the Justice League members had to go back to their day jobs.

    Part of me wanted to run off and find one of the other heroes to bother, I hadn¡¯t seen Hawkie or the Sidekick Squad in a while, but those were things I wanted to do with Donna so I held off.

    Instead I just kinda wandered down the streets of a random city somewhere on the west coast.

    I think one of the Green Lanterns lived here? I hadn¡¯t really interacted much with any of them, only briefly dealing with the black dude a couple times and even then it was more him focusing on his job while I just happened to be there then us actually fighting or working together.

    I don¡¯t think this was his city though. He didn¡¯t really seem like a beach town kind of guy. Probably one of the other Lanterns then.

    Maybe I should go find one of them?

    My plans to find and poke the galactic space cops was interrupted by something crashing down from the sky right in front of me. I immediately jumped back and fell into a fighting stance, ignoring the screaming humans running away from whatever just showed up.

    I didn¡¯t have the luxury of getting distracted by them because whatever this thing was? I couldn¡¯t sense its energy.

    A bright pink thing shot out of the dust cloud straight at me and I instinctually ducked under it before leaping backwards to get some more distance. I didn¡¯t know what this thing was. I wasn¡¯t going to let it touch me just in case it had some kind of super poison on it.

    The dust cleared and I got my first good look at what just attacked me.

    It was a mostly pink robot¡­squid?...with some black and metal bits hovering in the air and suddenly I felt cheated. The stupid thing didn¡¯t even look tough.

    So with a disinterested scowl I raised a hand and shot it with a fairly strong ki blast. Only, instead of exploding like it was supposed to, my energy attack splashed harmlessly over some kind of shield.

    Okay, slightly more interested now.

    The robot squid shoots forward at me, almost like it was going for a tackle, which I sidestep easily enough. It¡¯s fast, but after all the training I¡¯ve done it¡¯s not at a level I really have trouble with. At least until it flipped around and started using its four tentacles to either attack or try to grab me.

    I don¡¯t know what the things were made of but they were durable enough that all hitting them did was knock them out of the way for a bit and every time I did so I felt a weird electric tingling in whatever I touched them with that was slowly making my arms and legs heavier.

    One of the tentacles speared towards my head so I sidestepped out of the way and grabbed the weird not-metal as it passed and used it to heave the squid over my shoulder and into the side of a nearby building. Not that it did much beyond damaging the brickwork.

    I scowled as I looked around the street.

    Most of the humans had cleared out by now but it was still too cramped to really cut loose without breaking something.

    I needed to get to a more open area. Good thing the ocean was right there.

    Now just to see if the squid will follow me¡­

    -o-

    The good news was that the robot squid was willing to follow me out over the ocean instead of staying in the city so the heroes wouldn¡¯t need to lecture me about paying attention to my surroundings after I destroyed the thing.

    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    The bad news was I still had no idea how to destroy the stupid thing.

    I didn¡¯t feel like going too far away from the coast but once I was far enough away from the city to not worry about hitting a building, I shot the squid with a serious ki blast. One that should have theoretically vaporized a skyscraper if it hit, but just like before the blast scattered harmlessly over the robot after hitting some kind of shield and I was back to square one.

    Actually I was a little worse off because my limbs still felt heavy from whatever the tentacles did to them. It was fine for now but eventually it could be a problem. Come to think of it my Ki was moving a little more sluggishly than normal too¡­

    I shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on the squid. No point worrying about those things if I just got blindsided because I was distracted. Something I was actually pretty annoyed at. I spent so much time trying to make using ki sense second nature that now that I couldn¡¯t use it I felt like I was fighting half blind.

    The squid caught up and looked like it wasn¡¯t going to slow down even as it flipped and spread its tentacles to give it the biggest chance of grabbing me. I didn¡¯t know why it seemed so focused on capturing me rather than fighting but that joined the rest of my thoughts in the mental ¡®for later¡¯ box as I counter charged the flying pink robot and punched it in the body right where the tentacles attached to the rest hard enough to cause a thunderclap.

    I smiled because for once I actually felt the body deform from the hit. This thing was durable and strong, but I could beat it.

    ¡°Okay squiddie, I don¡¯t know what your problem is with me. But if you think you¡¯re enough to beat a Saiyan warrior, you¡¯ve got another thi¨C hey, wait! Where are you going!?¡±

    I was just going for a bit of banter and the thing dove into the ocean!

    Did I just scare it off? The last alien I told about me being a Saiyan was those Imperium guys and they went as far as trying to claw pieces of themselves off trying to get away from me. Were Saiyans simply too scary? But this was a robot, it shouldn¡¯t even feel fear!

    I looked at the water and debated if continuing to fight the alien robot squid was worth following it into the water. On the one hand, it twinged my pride to just let the thing get away after attacking me. But on the other, I wasn¡¯t exactly thrilled at the idea of getting soaked just to try and find something that could have run away by now with almost no chance of catching it.

    I was just about to give up on finding the robot squid and heading back to the city when I caught a flash of pink on the surface of the water. I had a split second to realize the reflection came from above me before the robot squid slammed into me and wrapped two tentacles around each of my arms.

    What¡­how did it get above me that fast?!

    I got my answer seconds later when the second, or rather the first, robot squid burst out of the water and grabbed my legs.

    Okay, there were more of these things. Now I knew for sure someone was after me specifically.

    Doing my best to ignore the growing numb feeling in my arms and legs, I flared my ki and spun in place before flexing my core and slamming the two robots into each other. My move worked and they lost their grip on me, even better I could see some sparks coming from where the two squids collided indicating some kind of damage. Whatever shield these things used to protect against my energy attacks didn¡¯t protect against itself.

    ¡°Well, now we know I can break you. Any more friends you want to bring to the party?¡± I taunted the robots. Not that I was expecting them to talk if they hadn¡¯t by now.

    They didn¡¯t talk but they quickly shut me up when two more robots exploded out of the ocean bringing my opponents up to four.

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t an actual invitation.¡± I complained and then had to focus as all four attacked at once.

    Between sixteen tentacles it was hard to find room to dodge and I ended up tanking a lot more hits then I wanted, but eventually I managed to catch one of them again and started using the rest of the squid as an improvised flail on the other three robots. Without the shields getting in the way I managed to do some decent damage but couldn¡¯t take any of them down before the squid I had a hold of ejected the tentacle I had a hold of.

    Still, going by the sparks coming off them now a few more solid hits should change that.

    Unfortunately I wasn¡¯t in much better shape because the whole time I was using a squid to beat a squid, whatever numbing thing the tentacles did had still been going on. I could barely feel my right hand right now and it took actual effort to form it into a fist. And that was after forcibly pushing ki as a sort of barrier to slow down the effects.

    I could be in a bit of trouble here¡­

    Then one of the squids broke off and started flying back towards the city for seemingly no reason. That was until I heard the sound of jets in the distance and saw what looked like a human robot flying out towards us. Oh hey, I recognized that thing! It was the knock off battlesuit/Ironman thing the army had!

    ¡°Attention Aliens: you are violating United States airspace. Either leave Earth orbit now or if you are unable to break atmosphere, surrender and disarm. You will be held in custody until you can be escorted off-planet.¡± the new arrival blared from a loudspeaker.

    Huh, he sounded kind of familiar.

    The robot squid close to him flipped and spread out its tentacles, either to block the newcomer from getting closer or in preparation for an attack. Either way, not the right choice as that caused the robot to open fire with some kind of shoulder mounted gatling gun that tore into the pink squid and after a few seconds caused it to explode.

    I frowned at that because there was no way some bullets were doing more damage then what I could do. But it happened anyway. Either something about that gun was special or I was missing something.

    Another issue for the ¡®later¡¯ box.

    The three remaining squids decided this was the last shot they were going to get at me and rushed to go on the attack. But they made a mistake, not only did they group up, they also had given me enough time to gather my Ki.

    ¡°KAMEHAME¨C¡± I cupped my hands and focused on making the attack as dense as possible to give it the best chance of getting through the damaged shields. Then I let go. ¡°HAAAA!¡±

    Just as <s>I guessed</s> planned, the shields on the squids couldn¡¯t hold off a continuous attack and eventually failed. The three squids exploded and without the shields protecting them, the resulting parts were vaporized by the energy attack.

    That just left me alone with the new guy. Who I finally remembered the name of.

    ¡°Hey, Rhodes!¡± I half-sang, giving him an exaggerated wave to disguise the fact I still couldn¡¯t really feel my limbs. ¡°I see you got a new suit. Does this mean we get to have another match?¡±

    The military drone slowed to a stop and gave me a lookover. ¡°You look familiar. You don¡¯t happen to have a younger sister do you? Gets into places she shouldn¡¯t be? Likes to break expensive prototypes?¡±

    ¡°You have trouble hearing through that thing?¡± I scowled at the robot. ¡°It¡¯s me, Califa.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m kidding, I¡¯m kidding! But seriously, you look different. No more little monkey girl, huh? You had one heck of a growth spurt from the last time we saw you.¡±

    ¡°Thanks! It happened when I spent a month in a magical mirror training device. I met a new friend there too! I¡¯ll have to bring her by so she can spar against your new suit too!¡±

    ¡°...magical mirror¡­? Right, gonna decide that¡¯s above my paygrade. Anyway, look sharp kid. We got another UFO dropping on our heads. We¡¯ll catch up after we figure out what they want or send them packing.¡±

    I looked up and sure enough there was a spaceship heading right for us.

    Not a very big one though. So either this was just a landing craft or whoever owned it was just bringing a handful of people. Especially when I saw the size of the two figures standing on top of the ship. Unless there was some serious space expansion wizardry in that ship you weren¡¯t fitting more than two or three of the¡­crab-people? They looked like giant armored crab-people to me at least¡­in there.

    ¡°Attention Aliens,¡± Rhodes announced one more time. ¡°This is Air Force Specialist James Rhodes. You are violating United States airspace. State your intentions or you will be considered hostile.¡±

    Going by the look of the armor on these guys I was betting they were the ones behind the robot squid things, and since those hadn¡¯t said anything I wasn¡¯t expecting these two to either.

    So it was a little surprising when one of them held up a golden badge and said, ¡°In the name of the Grand Centauri Empire, the Saiyan girl is under arrest for violation of the Ekelon Accords. Once she is captured we will leave this planet. Stand aside.¡±

    Wait. Were these some kind of non-Lantern space cops? Why were they after me, I hadn¡¯t even done anything off planet?! And what were the Ekelon Accords?!

 Growing Pains - Chapter 40

    Despite what I was expecting after giant crab space cops showing up calling for my arrest, we actually didn¡¯t break out into another fight.

    Someone back at whatever base Rhodes was piloting the suit from had taken over his speakers and had started spitting legal talk at the crab people who started spitting it right back.

    I lost track of the conversation the first time they mentioned clause c of subsection; who cares, and hadn¡¯t been able to figure out anything since.

    Especially because both sides eventually seemed to default to ¡®wait until a Green Lantern showed up to deal with this¡¯ once the military dude let it slip they had contacted one.

    They wouldn¡¯t even let me leave either!

    The crab guys because they still wanted to arrest me, and the military guys because they didn¡¯t want to be responsible for an invasion if the crab guys came after me anyway.

    They did agree to move this whole standoff to the beach though, which was nice because I couldn¡¯t feel my toes anymore. Ki control was letting me move mostly normally, but it felt like everything was half-asleep.

    I didn¡¯t like it, hopefully it wore off soon.

    Finally, after what felt like hours, I saw a flash of green heading towards us marking the arrival of the Lantern we were waiting on.

    Not the one I expected though, because it was the same guy from the Imperium invasion and the H.I.V.E. thing and not the white dude with the mask.

    ¡°Sorry for the wait,¡± GL said as he touched down. ¡°I¡¯m Green Lantern 2814-2 Stewart. I got word of a jurisdictional dispute?¡±

    ¡°Greetings Lantern Stewart, we are members of the Centauri Police sent to deal with a violation of the Ekelon Accords. Which this planet¡¯s military is blocking us from enforcing.¡±

    ¡°No offense, Crab-bucket, but we aren¡¯t just going to let you launch drone strikes into an American city because you say you can.¡± Rhodes sniped from the side. I guess he got control of the microphone back for a bit. ¡°And GL, can you explain to them that they need to say what they are here for in plain words? Because they and the legal eggheads keep going back and forth over a bunch of codes or references to those Ekelon Accords, which our best and brightest are pretty sure Earth hasn¡¯t signed so¡­¡±

    ¡°Not true.¡± One of the crabs said, taking a step forward. ¡°King ?¦Ë?¦Î¦Á¦Í¦Ä¦Ñ¦Ï? signed the accords several hundred years ago. As the majority ruler of the planet at the time, that was sufficient for Earth to be included.¡±

    ¡°King who?¡± Rhodes asked at the same time Green Lantern groaned and covered his face with a hand.

    ¡°King ?¦Ë?¦Î¦Á¦Í¦Ä¦Ñ¦Ï?, or King Alexander the III, also known as Alexander the Great. At the time he could have been considered influential enough to sign for the entire planet¡­as long as the person asking him to sign was shifty enough to not care that they were a bronze-age civilization to get another signatory attached to their name.¡±

    ¡°So what does that mean?¡± I asked, still lost with all the legal talk.

    ¡°Earth is technically part of the Accords, they have the right to respond to major breaches if there is no leader or nation in control of most of the planet.¡±

    ¡°And the United States doesn¡¯t count?¡± Rhodes asked petulantly.

    ¡°The US, the EU, Russia, China. All of them are close enough that one of them can¡¯t be considered the undisputed ruler of Earth.¡±

    ¡°Try not to let the Brass hear you say that. You¡¯ll bruise their egos.¡±

    ¡°Now that this has been cleared up, will you stand aside so we can do our duty?¡± Left crab demanded, raising his bigger claw in my direction.

    Rhodes moves to block him but is held back by Green Lantern. ¡°Hold it, hotshot. Let¡¯s finish hearing them out.¡± He turned back to the crabs. ¡°What breach exactly are you responding to?¡±

    ¡°Article seven; clause four, subsection thirty seven.¡±

    Green Lantern looked confused as his ring no doubt gave him the information what that actually meant. ¡°The removal of invasive megafauna threatening to destroy a garden world? That should only apply to non-sapients¡­¡±

    ¡°Or species that cannot be reasoned with and found in small numbers. Saiyans are on the list.¡± Left crab interjected. I don¡¯t think I liked him. ¡°You¡¯re lucky we detected her this early in the lunar cycle, she may seem reasonable now but Saiyans are savages that won¡¯t hesitate to destroy everything around them.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s racist.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but comment. I was starting to get annoyed about people talking like I wasn¡¯t here.

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    ¡°Tell that to the people of Sideralux after you Saiyans leveled half the planet fifty years ago.¡±

    ¡°Enough,¡± Right crab stepped in front of his partner. ¡°We¡¯ve given our reasons for targeting the girl. Are you going to stand in our way or not?¡±

    ¡°Two cyborg crab people picking on a kid? You bet I¡¯m gonna¨C¡± Rhodes started before his suit locked up and stood, well, robotically. ¡°Now that this is a confirmed law enforcement operation the US Air Force will stay out of the matter for now. Any action outside of securing the Saiyan will be considered a hostile act, if you plan on further operations on Earth contact the United States government ahead of time so we can avoid a repeat of this unfortunate situation.¡± A different voice, one I recognised as one of the lawyers, spoke up. And then the robot flew up into the air and started heading back towards the city.

    I guess that means Rhodes got his suit taken away. Sucks for him.

    ¡°And you Lantern Stewart?¡±

    ¡°Are you requesting my help?¡±

    ¡°As if we need the help of a Lantern that couldn¡¯t even realize a Saiyan was on his home planet. We don¡¯t need you or your help.¡± Leftie cut in aggressively. ¡°Just don¡¯t get in our way.¡±

    To my surprise Green Lantern just shrugged and took a step back. ¡°Alright, just had to ask for the record.¡± Then he turned to me. ¡°Try not to hurt them too badly, kid.¡±

    Oh. Oooooh! I see what he did there. I just got the green - heh - light to kick these two¡¯s butts off the planet and now they couldn¡¯t even complain about it because they told GL to get lost.

    He was cooler than I thought¡­

    I looked over at the crabs and made a show of cracking my knuckles - I could mostly feel my hands again by now -  and made a ¡®come get me¡¯ gesture at them.

    Leftie didn¡¯t hesitate to point his larger claw at me and charged. But he was even slower than the robot squids so it was easy to leap to the side and blast him in the back with a simple ki ball when he missed. His partner had a better idea by shooting some sort of weird translucent green tentacle out of his own claw, but after dealing with the effects of the robot ones I didn¡¯t doubt for a second there wasn¡¯t more to the thing than just an attempt to tie me up.

    So I crashed back to the ground and used it to kick off so I went low under his guard.

    I gave him points for not panicking at me suddenly getting so close by attacking instead of flinching away, but once again he was too slow and his giant claw arm/weapon smashed into the sand behind me half a second before I buried my fist into his stomach area.

    Even after my recent growth spurt I needed to fly a bit to pick the crab guy up and not drag part of him on the ground. These guys were tall.

    And strangely heavy, too.

    But that didn¡¯t stop me from throwing the guy into his more impatient partner who had just recovered from my ki blast.

    They went down in an explosion of sand and tangled limbs and I couldn¡¯t help but feel disappointed. Shouldn¡¯t these guys be tougher than the robots from earlier?

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you want to join their side?¡± I asked Green Lantern. ¡°Make it a bit more interesting for everyone?¡±

    He just gave me a blank look and raised an eyebrow.

    Guess that was a no.

    A laser beam shooting between us had me snap my focus back to the policecrabs, but they were either more shaken up from the hits I gave them and getting thrown around than I thought they¡¯d be or they were terrible shots because I was able to dodge all of them just by flying around a bit.

    At least that was what I thought until the heavily damaged robot squid I thought Rhodes destroyed slammed into me from behind!

    ¡°Quick, restrain her!¡±

    I spat sand out of my mouth and stood just in time for one of the policecrabs to shoot that green tentacle thing at me and this time I couldn¡¯t dodge. The thing wrapped around my upper body and I suddenly found myself with my arms pinned and a lot more tired than I had been a second ago.

    Not a big deal though, I didn¡¯t need my hands to beat these two.

    I jumped into the air ¨C and then fell right on my face when I couldn¡¯t direct my ki to fly.

    That¡¯s what these tentacles did! They suppressed energy somehow!

    I couldn¡¯t even curse the crabs out because the tentacle had covered my mouth, so I did the first thing that came to mind and bit down on the thing as hard as I could¡­

    Bleh¡­that was a mistake. Stupid tentacle tasted like burnt rubber and had basically the same feel too. But now that I got a good grip on the end, and if I used my tail just so¡­

    ¡°We got her! Bring the ship around so we can get her in the containment field. Let¡¯s get off this planet before she pulls any more tricks.¡± One of the crabs said, I didn¡¯t even care who it was anymore.

    ¡°On the way. Returning the capture probe too.¡± The other replied, pressing a button that had the damaged squid robot also head for the incoming ship.

    They were in a rush. Probably because they didn¡¯t want Green Lantern stepping in for some reason, but they should have been paying more attention to me. When the crab closest to me went to pick me up I kicked my legs around and drove my knee into his chest. Their fancy tech could stop me from using Ki in most ways, it did nothing against my base strength. He folded in half before I used him as a springboard to launch myself at his partner.

    I blocked the swipe of his claw with one leg and then used it as a platform to kick his guard out of the way. Then I bounced around him delivering kicks to his face, chest, arms¡­pretty much any target I had a clear shot at while he flailed around until he made one more desperate stab at me with his claw arm that glanced off the tentacle wrapped around my chest.

    With a twist of my neck and my tail, I was able to use the bit of room the crab¡¯s claw had created to loosen the tentacle enough to move my arms so I could rip the whole thing off me.

    Freed and able to use my ki once again, I flew low over the ground where I grabbed the crab by his leg and then went straight up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the other policecrab trying to work the control pad so I interrupted that by doing the first thing that went through my mind.

    I threw his partner at him.

    It certainly stopped him from finishing what he was doing, but I guess suddenly getting hit with his partner made him hit the wrong button because there was a loud crash in their ship followed by an explosion. One of the engines cut out and the thing looked like it was going to fall out of the sky¡­

    ¡­right on top of the policecrabs¡­

    Ah, dammit.

    I quickly flew down and grabbed each of the crabs by the first limb I could get a solid grip on and got out of there before the ship hit the beach. At first it looked like it came out of the crash with nothing worse than some dents and scratched paint, but whatever caused the first explosion rattled out of a hatch and I had a split second to see the even more damaged robot squid before it blew up again and completely ruined one of the engines.

    I guess they were trying to bring it out to cheapshot me again and something went wrong? Meh.

    ¡°So ready to keep going? Or you two wanna give up?¡± I asked as they picked themselves off the ground.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t we call it here.¡± Green Lantern said, flying over and separating us with a transparent wall from his ring. ¡°I think it¡¯s pretty clear if she wanted to, Califa could have wiped the floor with you in seconds. Instead she held back and even saved your lives. I think that¡¯s proof enough that her being here isn¡¯t a violation of the Ekelon Accords.¡±

    The policecrabs looked at each other and then at the wreck of their ship that had almost crushed them. ¡°...Agreed,¡± The calmer of the two said eventually. ¡°We¡¯ll have to report this incident and we can¡¯t guarantee that the Centauri Police Headquarters will make a permanent exception, but we won¡¯t be taking any more action against this Saiyan today. As a reward for behaviors that go against the norms for her species.¡±

    ¡°This mean we¡¯re done fighting?¡± I asked and scowled when I got three nods in return, ¡°Lame.¡±

    ¡°Same bad attitude as other Saiyans though.¡± The second crab grumbled. I ignored him though.

    I stuck around as GL helped them get their ship back up and running and gave the crabs a cheeky wave as they flew off into space. I even told them if they ever wanted a rematch they knew where to find me, much to the second crab¡¯s annoyance.

    Too bad for him.

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t antagonize them too much, they can make your life pretty difficult if they want.¡± Green Lantern said.

    I raised an eyebrow at him, ¡°I thought they said I wasn¡¯t breaking those accord things, shouldn¡¯t that be the end of it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, unless their bosses disagree.¡± GL nodded. ¡°But what they can do is put a capture bounty on you for a whole lot of other reasons. Earth doesn¡¯t really have a spokesperson to tell the Centauri Empire they can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°So I might get random aliens coming here to fight me? Cool!¡±

    GL just sighed at my response. ¡°All right kid, why don¡¯t you clear out while I finish cleaning up here? And try staying out of trouble?¡±

    ¡°I mean I could, oooor do you want to have a spar? That last fight kinda ended too easily and I haven¡¯t fought a Green Lantern yet!¡±

    GL just ruffled my hair while giving my head a shove and took off over the beach while a beam of green energy scanned the area.

    ¡°Is that a ¡®no¡¯ then?¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 41

    I slowly breathed in and focused on my Ki, trying to feel how it responded to various pokes and prods as I tried to get it to do what I wanted. I had been doing this kind of thing for a while, but I was still mostly making it up as I went. This was something very different from the techniques I normally used.

    Instead of gathering it all to one point and letting it burst out, I focused on spreading it evenly throughout my body. Then once I felt that was good enough, I focused on raising my Ki as smoothly as I could.

    In theory this should¨C

    Almost instantly the Ki destabilized and erupted outward in every direction. I opened my eyes and frowned at the small crater I was sitting in.

    Failed again.

    ¡°AAAAHHHH, I don¡¯t get it!¡± I complained, flopping on my back and rolling around while I pulled at my hair. Why were techniques that didn¡¯t involve blasting something so much harder?! And to make things worse I couldn¡¯t just go find someone and pester them into teaching me what I was doing wrong, no one I knew of used Ki!

    Maybe I should just wander around China for a bit and see if I could stumble across a Cultivator sect or something? Were those even a thing here?

    I stretched out on the ground and sighed, taking a moment to just watch the clouds go by.

    China could be interesting, but they didn¡¯t advertise superhumans like America did. I would have to actually search the whole country for who I was looking for. And that was assuming they weren¡¯t hiding out in some pocket dimension or something that would make me walk right by them. My scouter couldn¡¯t find anything at least, which was really annoying because that was supposed to be the one thing it was good for and it was useless when I needed it.

    Which meant I was probably just going to waste more time wandering around the Chinese mountains without anything to show for it. Not exactly my idea of fun. Though maybe if I brought Donna or some of the Sidekick Squad?

    We could make a whole training journey of it! I could find someone to teach me how to do the weirder things with Ki. Donna and I could try out all the different types of food, Kid Flash would probably enjoy that too. Speedy and Birdbrain would probably like the chance to see magical bows and bo staves. And Aqualad¡­

    Well, there would probably be something interesting to him somewhere. I didn¡¯t really know the guy yet.

    No, Donna was still on Themyscira and it was the middle of the week so the Sidekicks were probably still in school¡­

    And sitting in the woods trying to get this technique to work was pretty much a waste of time right now. So training was kind of a bust.

    There were other things I could do, speed and strength training, Ki control, finishing up the Destructo Disk¡­but none of that really sounded like fun at the moment.

    I needed something to do that would let me unwind and clear my head so I could get back to training later.

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    Welp, time to go bother Superman then.

    -o-

    The problem with reporters was that they tended to leave looking for things to report on. They didn¡¯t just conveniently wait in the Daily Planet building for me to swing by.

    I spent the better part of the morning crisscrossing Metropolis looking for Superman which was a lot harder to do when he wasn¡¯t flying around and I wasn¡¯t even sure he was in the city. I did eventually find him driving in a car along the coast with Lois and some fat old guy.

    Guess that meant more waiting. Couldn¡¯t exactly call out Superman now and blow his secret identity. He was a jerk and probably evil, but you had to respect the identity rules. Besides I liked Lois, I wouldn¡¯t want her mad at me because I blew her boyfriend¡¯s secret to some random old guy.

    Actually, did Lois know Superman and Clark Kent were the same person yet? I don¡¯t think I ever asked¡­

    A loud bang interrupted my thoughts and I looked down to see a truck careening towards the car. One of its tires had blown out and the driver lost control and I could only curse at the situation because I was too far away to actually help.

    Lois was down there so Superman wouldn¡¯t let anything actually bad happen, but explaining things would be really awkward.

    The truck driver fought to avoid hitting the much smaller car, and for the most part he did, but there was simply no room for even Superman¡¯s reflexes to make it so the two vehicles didn¡¯t collide. The front left bumper of the truck hit the back left of the car and sent it into a spin before it smashed into the guard rail and stopped. The car only went a little bit further before it also hit the rail, pinning the driver side and almost going off the side of the cliff.

    But it didn¡¯t look like anyone was hurt, Lois and the old guy were getting out of the car and the truck driver seemed fine. So that was good. Now, how to show up and call out Superman without blowing his identity and¨C

    *BOOM!*

    ¡°Oh come on!¡± I screamed as the truck suddenly exploded. The three people were fine, just pushed to the ground. But the explosion was enough to send the car over the edge of the cliff.

    With Superman still inside.

    That wasn¡¯t a big deal. A little drop wasn¡¯t going to hurt him, but it probably would a normal squishy human. And because I had stopped to think after the crash, I was still too far away to do anything! Maybe just get there as fast as possible and have us both pretend I caught him so we could avoid awkward questions and he could repay me with a more serious spar.

    With how fast I was going now it wouldn¡¯t be too obvious that I didn¡¯t catch¨C

    A red and blue blur whizzed past me and my brain stalled out as I saw Superman come up over the cliff with a slightly disheveled Clark Kent.

    ¡­What?

    I wasn¡¯t the only one confused. Lois was looking between the two and Clark obviously looked a bit shaken up.

    ¡°There you go, maybe next time just watch your step. Right Mr. Kent?¡± Superman said with a smile as he set the other man down on solid ground.

    ¡°Uh, yeah. I¡¯ll do my best.¡± The reporter chuckled awkwardly.

    ¡­What?

    ¡°And everyone else here is alright? I saw the explosion. No cuts or anything?¡± Superman asked, looking over everyone, eyes briefly flicking up to me floating over them but quickly dismissing me for the moment.

    The other four quickly confirmed that the worst injury among them was a sprained wrist from when the old guy ¨C who turned out to be Lois¡¯s boss ¨C fell during the boom. Nothing that needed an immediate trip to the hospital or an ambulance.

    Then it was my turn.

    I tensed as Superman looked at me, because now that he and Clark Kent were a little apart I could tell they had the exact same Ki signature.

    That wasn¡¯t normal.

    ¡°And lastly we have you.¡± He said. ¡°Though I don¡¯t think I know your name.¡±

    I stared blankly at him. That confirmed something weird was going on with this Superman. ¡°Uh, it¡¯s me. Califa. You know, the Saiyan you fight with sometimes?¡±

    Superman froze and looked like he was processing that statement.

    ¡°Right, right. Sorry about that, it¡¯s been a while and I didn¡¯t recognize you. You grew up a lot!¡± He said before I could call him out on the pause. ¡°I saw you trying to help. That was very brave of you but you should probably leave dangerous things like that to the experts.¡±

    ¡°...Riiiiiiight.¡± I drawled.

    Yeah this guy was a fake.

    We literally saw each other a few days ago.

    ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ve got to go. Stay safe and Lois! I¡¯d be happy to see you sometime outside of a disaster. Maybe for dinner one night?¡±

    ¡°That so? Perhaps we should.¡± Lois mused, still giving him and Clark some looks.

    ¡°Great! If you have time I¡¯ll pick you up on the roof of the Planet. Around eight sound good?¡±

    ¡°If I can make it.¡±

    I watched as the fake flew off towards the city. Nothing about the quick conversation was wrong compared to the other times. But this one definitely felt different. Like he had to stop and think about certain responses that most people would just do naturally.

    The bit where he didn¡¯t recognise me? Even if he hadn¡¯t lied saying that we hadn¡¯t seen each other for a while, practically anyone else would have looked like they were trying to recall something or had their eyes light up when they remembered.

    The fake had paused completely. Almost like a computer program stalling out while it waited for a response to load or maybe like a record needle jumping out of the groove.

    There was really only one thing I could say about the whole thing.

    ¡°That was bizarre.¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 42

    ¡°You guys sure you don¡¯t want a lift or something?¡± I asked for the third time. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s like twenty miles back to the city and I¡¯m not sure your car is going to make it.¡± I¡¯d dragged the fallen car back up the cliff since the fake Superman didn¡¯t bother, but it had still gone off a cliff into the ocean.

    It didn¡¯t look great at the moment.

    Lois didn¡¯t seem thrilled to get back into it either. ¡°I¡¯m not normally a stickler for these kinds of things but this outfit is over four hundred dollars, I¡¯m not ruining it with car fish smell. No offense, Smallville. I¡¯ll wait for the taxi we called.¡±

    Clark Kent chuckled and rubbed at the back of his head. ¡°None taken. I¡¯m probably just going to walk back myself. Still a little shaken from the fall.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m responsible for these two. Can¡¯t just leave them in the lurch.¡± Perry ¨C Lois¡¯s boss ¨C said. ¡°But you sure Kent? I wouldn¡¯t blame you if you wanted to go ahead. Maybe sit down and get an interview with our friend here? Like the girl said, we¡¯re miles from anything.¡±

    ¡°You know us country boys, Mr. White. Ten miles to school and all that¡­¡± Clark said as he started walking. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine once I walk it off.¡±

    I sighed and looked at the truck driver. ¡°Don¡¯t suppose you want a lift?¡±

    ¡°Nah, ¡®preciate the offer but I gotta stick around to give my take to da cops. Wheel shouldn''ta blown like dat, which means somebody screwed up at the depot.¡± The driver said. ¡°I take off now I could lose my job.¡±

    Oh well, I tried.

    Besides, me asking was mostly an excuse to corner the real Superman for questions. And since he had left I didn¡¯t have a reason to stay either.

    I waved goodbye and took off after the two Supermans ¨C Supermen? ¨C towards Metropolis.

    It didn¡¯t take me too long to find them. It was hard to track a specific Ki signature in a city even if the two I were looking for were identical, but following them from the cliff let me know generally where they would be.

    From there it was simple to just fly around until I spotted them. Though they didn¡¯t exactly look like they were getting along.

    As I got closer one of them pointed at the other¡¯s hands which made that Superman look down and flinch at whatever it was before he started getting angry. He yelled something I couldn¡¯t make out and then punched the real Superman in the face.

    Which¡­fair, I was here to do the same thing.

    Maybe I could fight him first? I could at least ask.

    ¡°Hey you! If you¡¯re looking for a fight why don¡¯t ¨C whoa, what happened to your face?¡± I started to challenge the fake but was shocked when he turned to face me.

    Fake Superman had started off looking exactly like the real one, but now I could literally see parts of his face shifting as bones and muscles rearranged themselves for some reason. It ended up giving his eyes a sunken look and his jaw was starting to look weird too. And it looked like it wasn¡¯t stopping. The fact his skin was turning chalk white all over didn¡¯t help either.

    ¡°Uh¡­¡±

    ¡°Get¡­away, from me!¡±

    A punch caught me by surprise and sent me halfway through a building. Whatever was going on with the fake, it didn¡¯t mess with his strength much. Ow.

    I pushed some of the rubble off of me and looked around. I had crashed into the middle of some kind of office space and now had a handful of people peeking over cubicle walls at me. I gave them a wave and flew back out the hole I made. They lived in Metropolis, they were probably used to people getting knocked through walls now and then.

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    I quickly made my way back to where I saw the two Supermen, but I could only find one Ki signature. Turns out it was the real one, who was also looking around for the fake. ¡°Hey, where did the other guy go?¡±

    Huh, it was odd to see Superman scowl. ¡°He got away.¡±

    Really now? Already? That was fast. ¡°So any idea who that guy was? Or where he was going? Cause I need to pay him back for the cheapshot he took.¡±

    Superman crossed his arms. ¡°I¡¯ve got no idea, on any of it. Took off in a hurry though.¡±

    ¡°Some kind of shapeshifter?¡± I guessed, it would possibly explain the Ki thing. Though I felt like I was forgetting something. ¡°Cause he wasn¡¯t looking much like you by the end of it. Anyway, you want to help me track him down and see what his deal is?¡±

    The sound of sirens started up in the distance, cutting off Superman before he could say anything. He looked towards the source and then back to me. ¡°Looks like I¡¯m going to be busy for a bit. Don¡¯t go looking on your own. I don¡¯t know what his deal was, but he wasn¡¯t some pushover. I don¡¯t want you getting hurt.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be careful.¡± I shrugged, trying to seem uninterested in looking for his lookalike.

    Superman didn¡¯t buy it.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious, Califa. Stay away from him until we know more. In fact, if you don¡¯t go looking I¡¯ll promise you a full day of sparing on a deserted island.¡±

    I perked up. A full day fighting against someone I could go all out against, just for not looking for one guy? I could do that.

    Then a thought connected and I had to hold back an evil smile.

    ¡°You promise?! Then it¡¯s a deal!¡± I shouted and forced him into a handshake. ¡°So, while you¡¯re busy I¡¯m gonna go hang out with Lois. Later!¡±

    ¡°Wait, wh¨C¡±

    I didn¡¯t hear the rest, I was too busy speeding back towards the edges of the city.

    -o-

    Lois was glaring at me from behind the top of her monitor.

    I said nothing and gave her my best wide-eyed, innocent looking smile.

    A pen clicked twice in the background.

    Lois glared harder.

    I kept smiling and raised my hands up so she could see. Neither one had a pen in them.

    Two more clicks.

    Lois started looking like she was trying to suddenly develop heat vision. I wished her luck. I could kinda mimic heat vision by focusing Ki out of my eyes if I wanted to, but it wasn¡¯t really worth it considering the other techniques I could do.

    For a normal human, especially one that got in trouble as much as Lois, it would be a lot more useful.

    Two more clicks.

    She did her best to ignore me, but I could see the vein twitching on her forehead. It was only a matter of time before ¨C

    Two more clicks.

    ¡°Will you stop that!?¡± Lois roared, slamming her hands on her desk and standing up to glare at me straight on.

    My smile widened by a few teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about¨C¡± Two more clicks ¡°¨CI don¡¯t even have a pen!¡±

    ¡°I can see your tail moving monkey girl. You aren¡¯t fooling anyone!¡±

    Crap, she was good. I quickly tossed the pen across the room with a flick of my tail.

    ¡°Nope, no pen here! Definitely wasn¡¯t just pressing it into my back to annoy you!¡±

    Lois raised her hands up and looked like she was doing her best to hold herself back from strangling me. At least she did before she took a deep breath to calm down and leaned forward on her desk. ¡°Okay, fine, I¡¯ll pretend I buy that. Why are you here bothering me? Shouldn¡¯t you be off giving the Justice League a collective headache instead of hanging around an empty office building?¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to tell her I was totally using her as bait for the fake Superman, because that would definitely get her to call the real Superman and he would probably decide that going where the fake was most likely to show up and just waiting was the same as going looking for him.

    He was evil like that.

    So instead I just said, ¡°Superman blew me off earlier, so I¡¯m following you around so he can¡¯t run away pretending to be busy and will have to fight me.¡±

    Lois raised an eyebrow. ¡°So you¡¯re just going to follow me around for god knows how long?¡±

    ¡°Nah, you¡¯ll probably end up getting kidnapped again soon enough. Or he¡¯ll drop by tonight for your date.¡±

    ¡°I do not get in trouble that often!¡±

    I snorted. ¡°Didn¡¯t you almost get knocked off a cliff today?¡±

    ¡°...That!...You! Ugh, nevermind.¡± Lois sputtered and shoved away from her desk. ¡°But you¡¯re right, he was supposed to stop by the roof around eight. I¡¯m going to give him an earful if he thinks he can just dump you on me because he¡¯s busy!¡±

    Huh, so she didn¡¯t know Clark Kent was Superman¡¯s disguise yet? I guess she only suspected and the fake showing up made her doubt it.

    Of course I wasn¡¯t going to tell her, just hold it over her head later when she definitely knew. ¡°Yeah, you tell him!¡±

    My outburst just got me another dirty look that I decided to ignore as I followed Lois on her way towards the roof.

    It wasn¡¯t a long walk, but it did give me some time to think about what scenarios meeting the fake Superman could end up as.

    Problem was, he had so many clones and copycats it was kinda hard to guess right away. I mean there was the cyborg guy, the animated toy guy, the like thirty different ¡®evil¡¯ versions from alternate dimensions, and I think there was a power stealer that could shapeshift at one point? Hmm, I felt like I was missing an obvious one¡­

    Metallo? No, that was the robot with the blonde skinsuit.

    Well whatever. The point is there were a lot of different ways for someone to fake being Superman and they had a lot of different reasons to do so. That kinda made planning for a specific guy hard. The only guaranteed thing to do was to go find a chunk of kryptonite somewhere but that was both cheating and not something I could really do in five minutes.

    So I was just going to go with the flow and figure out a plan later.

    Lois made it to the top of the roof access stairs and I followed her out, but there honestly wasn¡¯t much up here, literally.

    Besides the column that held up the Daily Planet orb, there was nothing on the sloped roof. Not even a rail to stop people from just slipping off the edge.

    That wouldn¡¯t be a big deal if you could fly or were tough enough to survive the fall like a Saiyan could. But most humans couldn¡¯t do either of those, so how the heck did the builders get approval for that?

    The sound of people talking broke me out of my thoughts as I heard Lois call out to the fake that just arrived and¡­was looking a lot worse than earlier today.

    Ignoring the now completely white skin and messed up hair, most of his face now looked jagged and misshapen. That extended to the rest of his body too as he stood hunched over with his legs at odd angles. For some reason even his outfit looked different, the blue fading to a kind of purple and the shield emblem looking deformed and bizarre¡­oh.

    I was an idiot.

    ¡°Right, Bizzaro. Forgot about him.¡± I muttered under my breath. A mistake because even if Lois missed it, the degenerating clone of Superman didn¡¯t.

    ¡°Me not Bizzaro!...Am Superman! Me¡­hero.¡± Bizzaro growled. ¡°Me need Lois help.¡±

 Growing Pains - Chapter 43

    What were you supposed to do when you found yourself on top of a building with a nosy reporter and a clone of her superpowered boyfriend?

    My first instinct was to fight the clone, because that seemed to be how it always worked out.

    Some scientist made a clone and it either turned out evil or was supposed to be evil in the first place, they got in a fight with either the original or their friends, and then they either stayed evil or joined the good guys depending on how things worked out.

    Or they died.

    I didn¡¯t really know what to do when the clone just asked for help without threatening anyone. I mean, I wanted to fight him. But doing that when he just asked for help sounded like a jerk move.

    Maybe I could help him out and get a fight out of it as a reward for helping?

    While I was distracted with my thoughts Lois took charge. ¡°Who are you? What are you? And why do you think I could help?¡±

    ¡­probably not the best way to talk to someone obviously unstable without being tough enough for it not to matter, but I guess she hadn¡¯t gotten to where she had by being afraid to ask tough questions.

    Though considering where she was, was on top of a skyscraper staring down a possibly evil clone of Superman with only an alien teenager as backup¡­maybe she should learn time and place better.

    ¡°Me AM Superman!¡± Bizzaro protested, angrily taking a few steps forward, incidentally making Lois tak a few back. Only a few inches from where the roof sloped down to a drop off the whole building. Crap, I should do something about that so the squishy human doesn¡¯t fall off.

    Right, control the situation now, figure out how to get Bizzaro to fight me later.

    ¡°Hey, focus! What did you need help with?¡± I said, flying between the two.

    The clone scowled at me¡­I think - it was kinda hard to tell with how messed up his face was. ¡°Memory is¡­wrong. Me am wrong. Lois smart, Lois can help.¡±

    I nodded. ¡°Right, not sure how much help she can really be, but she can probably call the¨C¡± I quickly stopped myself from saying real because that wouldn¡¯t help anyone, ¡°¨Cother Superman and we can all¨C¡±

    ¡°Me am Superman! Me no need help from imposter!¡± I realized I had still made a mistake when there was a flash of white and purple out of the corner of my eye and I was suddenly backhanded into the Daily Planet globe.

    Note to self: Real Superman is a hot button for Bizzaro. Also he really doesn¡¯t hold back and hits really really hard, ow.

    I wiggled a bit to free myself from the indent I had made in the giant stone ball and looked out only to see the real Superman had shown up and was now facing off against Bizzaro.

    That could only end well.

    I focused on wriggling some more, pausing when I felt the rock groan around me. Normally I would just break the whole thing and not care, but Lois was currently stuck on the edge of a roof with two Superpeople about to go at it and couldn¡¯t fly. Since I liked her for not making a huge deal out of my amateur kidnapping job in the interview she published, I would at least try not scaring her into accidentally walking off a building.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    I had just freed myself when I heard a thunderclap followed by a scream.

    I looked up just in time to see Superman flying backwards towards me before he collided with my nose and drove me back into the crater I just escaped from. That proved too much for the stand holding up the Daily Planet globe. I felt more than heard the base snap off followed by the eventual feeling of falling through the air.

    Superman recovered first from our crash and quickly flew out to catch the giant falling rock while I took the opportunity to just get out of the way. I wasn¡¯t getting stuck in that stupid rock a third time!

    While the actual hero was doing damage control, I was looking around for Lois and Bizzaro. Just like I expected, though, neither were anywhere to be seen.

    I guess Lois got kidnapped again. The good news is that I was no longer going to be the worst kidnapper she dealt with.

    ¡°Alright, I think it¡¯s about time I got some answers.¡± Superman said next to me, apparently having already fixed the globe. ¡°Who was that and what did he want with Lois?¡±

    ¡°Botched clone of you.¡± I said casually. ¡°Said he was having memory problems and thought Lois could help.¡±

    ¡°A clone?¡± I saw a bunch of emotions run over the Kryptonian¡¯s face, few of them remotely positive. But I could guess that someone trying to make another ¡®him¡¯ in a lab wasn¡¯t exactly something he was okay with. Before I could comment though, he refocused on Lois. ¡°Help how?¡±

    I shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t actually know. We didn¡¯t get that far before I got smacked into a building.¡±

    ¡°Then we need to find them before she gets hurt. Can you sense either one?¡±

    I had already been trying. The problem was, trying to find a normal human like Lois in a city full of other normal humans was like looking for a specific needle in a pile of needles. And Superman and Bizzaro had Ki signatures so identical I couldn¡¯t tell them apart, not helped by the fact Superman was right next to me making it hard to focus on the him that was not him somewhere else¡­

    ¡­Did that even make sense?

    I shook my head to clear my thoughts. ¡°Doesn¡¯t look like it. Unless you want to fly out of the city and let me look again? Wait, no, that won¡¯t work cause once you get close I won¡¯t be able to tell if he moved. And since he¡¯s probably as fast as you¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯d just end up chasing our tails.¡± Superman finished.

    As the only one that actually had a tail I narrowed my eyes at him. Only to be ignored as he flew off into the city looking for his girlfriend.

    Not to be left behind, I chased after him.

    Afterall, Bizzaro hit me first. I had dibs on any fights!

    -o-

    As it turned out, it didn¡¯t take too long to pick up Bizzaro¡¯s trail.

    And the moment we did my pride was getting a thorough pounding. Why? Because when I kidnapped Lois Lane, I took her to the cave I kept my stuff, gave her a few snacks I had lying around, and gave her an interview because she asked.

    When Bizzaro kidnapped her? He took her to a fancy restaurant, gave her a quick interview, and then apparently took her home to some kind of hidden lab outside the city.

    Literally the only thing I did better than a defective clone was making sure she didn¡¯t forget her notes. Bizzaro had apparently rushed them off before Lois could pick up her recording device where it was left on a table. Good for us figuring out where they went. Bad for my self esteem.

    Superman helped the police for a bit and asked some questions while I mostly finished off a few of the abandoned plates of food left behind when the diners ran away from Bizzaro.

    But eventually we got pointed in the right direction and flew off to look for them.

    Thankfully that part didn¡¯t take long.

    Once we left the city and the thousands of Ki signatures, it wasn¡¯t all that hard for me to pick out a few of them out in the wilderness. We had a few false starts - campers out in the hills and a few photographers doing nighttime photoshoots - but we didn¡¯t exactly need to get close to realize they weren¡¯t what we were looking for and move on to the next group.

    It got really obvious when we found a random white building semi-hidden on a cliff that just screamed ¡®hidden lab¡¯. We didn¡¯t even need to guess who was behind it either with the Lexcorp branded helicopter parked right outside.

    ¡°Luthor. Of course he is behind this.¡± Superman said with an edge to his voice.

    ¡°I mean, he is kinda obsessed with you.¡± I pointed out. ¡°At least you get to put him in jail for a bit for illegal cloning or something, right?¡± I had absolutely zero faith that any rich person with as many political connections as Lex Luthor would face real consequences, but having to deal with the law would at least annoy him for a while, right?

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about that.¡± Superman said bitterly. ¡°I¡¯d have to check but I don¡¯t think there are any laws against cloning anything not human.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    I guess that was another reason he was pissed about the Bizzaro situation. Not only had someone tried making another him for probably not good reasons, it was also a metaphorical yank of the tail that he wasn¡¯t considered part of the world he protected so often to get the same protections others got just by being human.

    And I guess that meant I should expect to run into a clone of myself at some point too. The people that had the tech and knowledge to work with alien DNA were probably tied up with trying to crack Kryptonian DNA, but I was pretty sure Saiyan DNA was a lot simpler to work with.

    If they ever switched tracks I could soon find myself fighting my¡­sister? I wasn¡¯t sure how to think about that.

    Before this, the thought of fighting another Saiyan would have just excited me. But thinking about what it would be like to fight a clone of me being used as a disposable weapon for some scientist?

    I still didn¡¯t know what to feel about a clone version of me - and I would do the mature thing and repress thinking about it until I couldn¡¯t do that anymore - but I did know that any scientist that cloned me would lose their ¡®working legs¡¯ privileges at least.

    ¡°Well, I guess we should go grab Lois then?¡± I said instead, just to move us past this conversation.

    Superman sighed. ¡°Yeah, we should go get her before she ends up blowing up the lab somehow.¡±

    The sound of an explosion drew our attention back to the lab just in time for me to see the windows light up from flames dancing inside the building and what looked like a computer terminal crashing through a skylight.

    ¡°Huh, I thought that was supposed to be a joke.¡±

    ¡°It was.¡± Superman deadpanned.

 Growing Pains - Chapter 44

    I wasn''t surprised when Superman left me in the dust on the way to the now burning lab. I still was a long way off from catching the Flash, not to mention the Kryptonian. Especially when his girlfriend was in danger. But I was happy to note that I wasn''t that far behind.

    I made it through the broken window just in time to see Superman catch a bit of the ceiling that was about to crush Lois while Bizzaro was busy breaking tubes filled with¡­were those yellow mannequins built to look like Superman? Why would anyone want fifty of tho¨C oh, those were more clones.

    But why were they yellow?

    "Superman! You have to help us get out!" I heard Lois shout and looked her way to see her standing next to Lex Luthor, who was here for some reason, and an old scientist dude. I was actually surprised Lex hadn''t ducked out by now considering how everything was currently on fire, but a quick glance around showed he wasn''t here by choice. At some point a giant machine had been wedged into the doorway, locking everyone who couldn''t fly inside.

    "You!"

    And of course we still needed to deal with Bizzaro himself.

    "Hey, I had dibs on a fight!" I shouted as the clone slammed into Superman.

    "Me kill you!"

    And I was totally ignored.

    While I mentally debated whether I should break up the fight so I could have a go or let them continue, Lex stepped forward and shouted at me. "She meant now, girl! We''re sitting on top of a half-kiloton of explosives." The businessman said briskly, "Enough, I presume, to destroy even Superman, let alone all of us!"

    I almost laughed at him for that, because while I had no idea how big an explosion half a kiloton was, I was pretty sure Superman could handle it no problem. Unless it was laced with kryptonite or something.

    And considering it was Luthor, he probably did have kryptonite laced explosives in a lab meant to clone Superman. Just in case one of them went nuts and started tearing up the place.

    ¡­kinda like what Bizzaro was doing now.

    Well, crap. And even if Superman could survive, Lois certainly wouldn''t.

    "Why would you set off a bomb that big when you''re still inside the building? What are you, stupid?!" I complained as I flew towards the blocked door.

    Lex bristled at that but didn''t say anything. Probably because he was waiting for me to actually open the way out first. He was at least that smart.

    "Califa, look out!"

    "No one leaves!"

    I only had a heartbeat to react to a flash of white and purple in the corner of my vision before my arm snapped up in a reflexive block. I managed to stop Bizzaro''s fist from hitting me in the face, but defective clone or not, he was still a Superman clone and I was sent crashing into a burning machine on the other side of the lab from the strength of the punch.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    "Ow." I muttered as I shoved my way out of the jagged bits of metal and rolled my wrist.

    Definitely gonna feel that bruise later. But more important thing first, dealing with Bizzaro.

    "Alright, you asked for it!"

    I flared my ki and shot towards Bizzaro, who was already turning to focus back on Superman. But I had already had my dibs call ignored and then been attacked, so I had no issues crashing into him and driving him through a row of cloning tubes. I heard Luthor shouting in the background, but he wasn''t important right now.

    Superman could deal with him.

    Bizzaro burst out of the wreckage with a roar and took a swing at me. It was fast, but unlike the original, it was sloppy. So I was easily able to duck under it and give him a quick kick to the ribs.

    He reflexively caught my leg before I could spin away and when I went to kick him with the other to free myself he caught that one too.

    Bizzaro gave me a crooked grin and I gave him a sharp one in return. Next thing he knew my hands were cupped a few inches from his face as I blasted him with a Ki beam.

    As expected, he let go of my legs to shield his face and I poured more energy into the attack hoping to do some actual damage. I wasn''t sure if it worked, but it definitely sent the clone flying backwards.

    I wasn''t letting up though!

    I surged forward only for part of a column to crumble right on top of me, it slowed me down a bit but a bit of rock wasn''t enough to stop me from getting close to my opponent! But¡­why wasn''t he looking at me?

    "Superman¡­save, Lois?" he mumbled, more to himself than anything and I took the risk to check over my shoulder to see what he was looking at.

    At some point Luthor and the scientist cleared out but it looked like Lois got caught under some of the rubble. I don''t know what Superman had been doing before that, but right now he was carefully lifting a big chunk of the building off his girlfriend''s leg.

    Superman had it handled, there was no reason it should distract from our fight!

    Even the sound of part of the roof collapsing wasn''t going to distract me from this fight as I turned back to Bizzaro, but he obviously didn''t feel the same. He was still looking behind me ¨C

    Whoosh!

    ¨C at least he was until he blitzed past me towards the others!

    "Hey! You''re fighting¡­me¡­" I trailed off as I saw that Bizzaro wasn''t taking the opportunity to attack his original.

    He was stopping the giant section of the ceiling I heard falling just a second ago from landing on both Superman and Lois.

    "Me hold. You go!" The clone told the others, even as he struggled under the weight. To pretty much everyone''s shock considering he said no one was leaving just a minute ago and said he was going to kill Superman. "Me no am Superman. YOU am Superman. Superman¡­save Lois."

    Oh.

    This wasn''t a change of heart. Up until a moment ago Bizzaro had at least partly truly believed that he was the original Superman. I don''t know what the last straw was, but that apparently wasn''t the case anymore.

    And I guess that meant our fight was over.

    Superman gave his clone a nod and quickly scooped Lois up before getting her out of the lab. The lab I just remembered was sitting on a huge bomb because I got too wrapped up in trying to fight Bizzaro!

    "Hey, you gotta leave too!" I shouted, blasting the ceiling slab to pieces and moving to shove Bizzaro towards the door but he wasn''t budging for some reason!

    "No leave, me no am Superman. Me belong here." He denied.

    I was getting flashbacks to Donna, "That''s stupid! So what if you aren''t Superman!? That doesn''t mean you should just throw your life away, you''re still a person!"

    "Bizzaro¡­am person?"

    I pushed harder and this time got him to take a few stumbling steps. "Of course you''re a person! And you still need to finish our fight so get, moving, already!" Another push got me a few more feet when Bizzaro suddenly shifted and made me stumble past him. Before I could do anything, he grabbed me by both arms so they were pinned to my sides and picked me up.

    "Hey! What are you¨C?"

    "Monkey girl good person." The clone stated as he shifted me to a side. "But no place for Bizzaro out there."

    "Wha-?"

    "But me am hero, so me save you!"

    The last thing I saw before Bizzaro threw me up through a hole in the roof was his crooked smile, but this one was different, almost proud of what he had done, before the building blew up with him still inside.

    ¡­

    ¡­

    I don''t know how long I hovered there watching the remains of the burning lab, but I just couldn''t bring myself to look away even when Superman flew over carrying Lois. No matter how hard I focused¡­there were just no Ki signatures down there.

    "Califa? Are you okay?"

    I didn''t know how to answer that right now.

    "Why didn''t he escape? There was more than enough time!" I asked instead.

    Something dripped down my cheek and I angrily brushed it away with the back of my hand.

    Superman and Lois exchanged a look but I still couldn''t look away from the lab.

    "I don''t know." Superman said eventually. "I can''t say what he was thinking in the end. Maybe he thought there wasn''t a place for him in the world. But what I do know is that in the end, he chose to be a hero and make sure that you got out."

    "That''s stupid." I growled as more liquid dripped down my face, I brushed that away too. "It doesn''t matter where you come from, as long as you''re alive there''s a place for you somewhere."

    "That''s a good attitude to have." Lois said, "but you don''t have to keep it in. You''re allowed to feel sad."

    What was she ¨C ?

    I felt something roll down my cheek and this time I caught it in my hand.

    It was water.

    ¡­oh, I was crying¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 45

    After the lab incident I decided to take a few days for myself. No training, no fights, just flying randomly across the continent and taking in some sights and trying to clear my head.

    It was nice.

    By the fourth day I had pretty much sorted myself out and while what Bizzaro did still upset me, I decided he made his choice and I had to respect that even if I didn¡¯t get why he did it. I would respect that.

    Of course that left me in a slightly awkward position of what to do next.

    I had a feeling all the older heroes were going to be weird about things for a while and I didn¡¯t want to deal with that. I mean, I didn¡¯t blame them. Making sure other people were okay was kinda their whole thing¡­but I didn¡¯t need that anymore.

    And I didn¡¯t want the first time meeting up with the Sidekick Squad after a while being awkward because they thought I was fragile or something.

    So I needed to find someone who could let the Justice League know I was okay now and didn¡¯t need to be babied and wouldn¡¯t get weird about meeting up for some fun.

    ¡­I was pretty sure Thanagarians dealt with all their problems by hitting them in the face like a proper person, so Hawkie should be a pretty good choice! Plus I hadn¡¯t seen her in a while anyway.

    Now I just had to find her¡­

    -o-

    Why was it so hard to find a woman with giant freaking bird wings attached to her?! Why was she harder to find than freaking Superman? Seriously, I found an internet post about how he helped put out a fire less than an hour ago with a two minute internet search, but the last thing I found about Hawkie was over a month old!

    Wait, crap. She was an alien who wasn¡¯t abandoned on Earth. Was she even on the planet?

    I groaned and collapsed on the keyboard in front of me. This sucked.

    ¡°Are you having trouble, dear?¡± A kind voice asked behind me.

    I looked up and around to see the old librarian had wandered over ¨C probably to get me to stop laying on her equipment ¨C and was now looking kindly at me through some thick glasses and occasionally glancing at the computer monitor.

    ¡°School project?¡±

    I shrugged, not surprised by the mistaken impression. Afterall, I had ditched my armor today for a tight black shirt and some looser fitting cargo pants ¨C so many pockets! ¨C that hid my tail pretty well so I did look like a normal human teenager just looking things up in the library.

    ¡°I¡¯m trying to find stories about Hawkwoman, but it¡¯s not going great. Nothing recent is coming up.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s because the media started calling her Hawkgirl a while back. I think it was to make her seem a bit more friendly since she is so¡­aggressive¡­when she¡¯s going around fighting.¡± the librarian sounded disapproving of that. ¡°We don¡¯t want little girls going around thinking that screaming your head off is something we want mature young women to do.¡± She sniffed.

    ¡°Right¡­¡±

    I got the distinct impression that doing anything but smiling and nodding along was going to get me a long lecture about the ¡®proper¡¯ way of things and I had no interest in being talked at until I fell asleep.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    I had other things to do!

    Such as looking up sightings of Hawkie using her actual name since I had apparently lost that mental coin flip. Seriously, Hawkgirl instead of Hawkwoman? Hawkie looked like she was around the same age as Wonder Woman. If Donna showed up calling herself Wonder Girl or something like that and the media put them on the same level, Hawkie was going to flip.

    I paused reading the article I found while I thought about that.

    On second thought, I prayed that would happen. The mental image of a bunch of newsies getting chased around by a pissed off Thanagarian screaming that she was a grown woman was too funny to pass up.

    ¡°This is exactly what I needed! Thanks, Miss Librarian!¡±

    ¡°Happy to help, dear. Good luck on your assignment and please don¡¯t lay on the keyboards again.¡±

    -o-

    Unfortunately Hawkgirl wasn¡¯t as famous a hero as Wonder Woman, Superman, or the Flash.

    Kinda, I mean she was obviously well known considering she was a founding member of the Justice League. Maybe it was better to say she wasn¡¯t as popular? As media friendly?

    All of the others were constantly in the news in one way or another that my target simply wasn¡¯t. Thankfully for me though, she wasn¡¯t on the level of Batman, who was usually only caught by a camera when he wanted to be.

    That meant that even the most recent sighting I could find in an afternoon using public internet was a few days old. And considering she could fly at a decent speed that meant it was almost useless. But it did give me a place to start looking.

    So after one last check to see if there was a more recent sighting that turned up nothing, I was off to the northern part of the Rockies to hunt down a bird woman.

    And promptly got stuck on what to do next because trying to find one person in a mountain range with no idea where to start looking was really freaking hard!

    Even going by Ki sense and only looking for the bigger sources I wasn¡¯t getting much luck. Thanagarians had more Ki than your average human, but it wasn¡¯t so different that I could just pinpoint who I was looking for at a glance. I ended up dropping in on a few hikers, four bears, and some sort of gorilla man before I found a group of Ki signatures a bit stronger than usual that I immediately went off to investigate.

    Why?

    Because there were six of them moving really close together, and more interestingly, they were underground¡­relatively. They were still pretty high up a mountain but being inside the mountain still counts.

    But that meant there was some kind of secret base inside a mountain that was begging to be explored!

    Unfortunately knowing that there was a secret base inside a mountain didn¡¯t mean that I knew where the entrance was. And I had gotten yelled at by Donna enough to know that blasting through the walls wasn¡¯t a really good idea if you wanted whatever was on the other side intact. Or for the roof to not cave in on your head because walls were important for that.

    So, yeah. No impersonating the kool-aid man unless I knew what the other side looked like.

    But that was fine, I had learned infiltration from Batman, after all.

    And one of the earliest lessons he had given me was that sometimes all you needed to do to sneak inside a secure location was just wait until someone left and be quick. And since the six people I was sensing seemed to be getting closer to the mountain¡¯s surface, I had a hunch I wasn¡¯t going to need to wait long.

    Moving carefully just in case there were some kind of external sensors, I flew close to the rock face and hid behind some boulders. I didn¡¯t need to wait long before the group of six got even closer before coming to a stop. The rock face split open as a hidden door revealed itself and I poked my head out to¨C

    ¡°Oh ffff¡ª¡± I yelped and dove back down behind my own rock as some kind of ship came screaming out of the mountain and almost took my head off. I turned to track it just in case they saw me on the way out, but the ship kept going slightly up into the air before vanishing into the sky.

    Okay, I guess that explained why the six of them were moving so close together. Really didn¡¯t appreciate the near-haircut, but no time to complain, I needed to sneak in before the door shut again!

    I managed to slip through just before the fake rock walls closed and landed in a crouch. I had to resist the urge to whisper ¡®I¡¯m in¡¯ as I looked around.

    Not that there was much to see initially.

    So far I was just in a tunnel big enough for the ship I just dodged to fly down that went deeper into the mountain but not much else in sight.

    Only one way to go then.

    I flew down the tunnel keeping an eye out for anything that looked like a camera or sensor like Batman had taught me, but I also remembered he told me going anywhere for the first time without scoping it out almost guaranteed that you would miss something so I went in half expecting something to notice my presence.

    So when the tunnel opened up into a large hangar with absolutely no sign that I had been noticed going off I wasn¡¯t sure if I should be disappointed that I apparently managed to sneak in so easily or be proud of my stealth skills. For now I was going to go with a bit of both and see what I could poke into before something discovered me. Maybe those six were the only living things here?

    That thought was almost instantly disproven when a door at the back of the room opened and a bipedal lizard man in some sort of armor walked into the room and began digging through what looked like a toolbox. I hurriedly ducked behind a crate of some kind and peeked out to see if I had been spotted, but the lizardman seemed focused on finding what he was looking for instead.

    Definitely more people in the secret base then, but more concerningly I couldn¡¯t sense him.

    This wasn¡¯t like with the squids the spacecrabs used or the suit the army had built because I could see the lizard was an alien and not a robot, yet even looking right at him he was invisible to my Ki sense. Some function on his armor? But then why did the previous six show up? Was it intentional, or was it just a side effect? And what were a bunch of alien lizards doing in a secret mountain base in the first place?

    Too many questions were piling up and I knew smashing through their base now meant I wasn¡¯t likely going to get many answers. I was going to have to continue being sneaky.

    But I consoled myself with the knowledge that if I couldn¡¯t find answers by poking around I could always default to smashing stuff if I got caught or found nothing¡­

    Now then, how to sneak into the main part of the base without getting spotted moving across a mostly open room?

    I spotted a vent that looked just big enough for me to squeeze through and felt a giant grin stretch across my face.

    If the lizardmen hadn¡¯t kicked up an alarm yet, that meant they definitely didn¡¯t suspect someone had broken into their base. They doubly wouldn¡¯t suspect someone to be crawling around inside their walls¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 46

    The one thing I discovered pretty early on was that these lizard guys definitely hadn¡¯t just set up this base.

    For one, the vents had been in place long enough that even the parts not close to a room or opening had become a bit dull thanks to all the dust moving through them but also because of the state of some of the rooms and equipment I could see.

    I really doubted a group that had the ability to dig out a secret mountain base was going to intentionally have dust covered machines with visibly frayed wires going into the walls if they just set up the place.

    It was possible that the lizards had just moved into a base they found, but even the newer looking equipment looked the same as the old stuff. Like it had been made by the same people. So either an old base that had been reoccupied, or a base that had been here a long time.

    Either way these guys had probably been here for a while. Which meant they were likely here for something. And considering the weapons I saw a few of them carrying around, it probably wasn¡¯t some peaceful study of Earth.

    I needed more info, and since I didn¡¯t trust myself to hack into a computer system without getting caught on camera or setting off an alarm or something, that meant relying on Batman strategy number three¡­

    Stalk a group of grunts and see what they let slip.

    And just my luck, there were two guys that just walked into a room close to the vent I was in!

    Moving carefully to make sure I didn¡¯t bump into the walls of the vent, I made my way over to the intersection and slowly crept up to the vent cover into the room they entered.

    ¡°...just hope the strike team gets whatever that human scientist needs. I¡¯m sick of this cave.¡±

    ¡°Agreed. But with luck the virus will be completed and we can leave this backwater with the weapon needed to destroy those winged pests.¡±

    ¡°Hmph, I don¡¯t believe it. A natural bioweapon that is nearly lethal to both Gordanians and Thanagarians? I have seen the natives of this world. If the virus was truly that deadly there would be none of them left.¡±

    ¡°Which is why we need the scientist.¡± the second lizard said. ¡°She can modify the strains so we will be immune while our enemies suffer. Besides, even the unmodified version is lethal to many humans.¡±

    ¡°Of course it is, have you seen how fragile most of them are? If it wasn¡¯t for the strength of a handful of defenders we would have defeated and sold off the population ages ago! Not that I¡¯d know what they¡¯d be useful for.¡±

    ¡°Deep space mining? The smaller ones can be incredibly flexible and a laser drill doesn¡¯t require much strength to use¡­¡±

    From there it was basically the two passing ideas back and forth about what menial jobs humans could do and I decided it was time to move on. Still, figuring out that the lizards were definitely the bad guys was nice I guess. Kinda hard to be anything else when you were planning biological warfare and casually discussing slavery in your downtime.

    It was the kinda thing that would let me blow up the whole mountain and even the Justice League wouldn¡¯t get too mad at me for it.

    But the idea that they had a scientist hidden around here somewhere working on a super plague sort of put a stop on that plan.

    Blowing up a mountain base and accidentally releasing the super plague was definitely not something I was super eager to do.

    So I needed to either find the scientist and kidnap them so they couldn¡¯t finish making the weapon or destroy any samples they had in the base before wrecking the place.

    I paused and thought things over.

    Or both. Both was good.

    Now let¡¯s see what I could do before someone caught me and raised the alarm¡­

    -o-

    Britlok did his best to appear busy as the supervisor exited his personal chambers. Despite actually having several duties he was currently wrestling with, he knew from experience that the supervisor wouldn¡¯t hesitate to add more if he believed you were not working enough.

    ¡°Drisz! It has been a full day, why haven''t the systems damaged by that winged rat been restored?¡±

    ¡°The engineering teams are out of materials, Supervisor! We will need to either produce more replacement parts or salvage them from other less critical systems!¡±You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    ¡°Then do it! That Thanagarian scum will be back sooner or later and I don¡¯t want the first I know about it to be when we are invaded again! Everything except for defenses or the human¡¯s lab are secondary now. We are close to accomplishing our goal, I will not allow failure!¡±

    ¡°Sir!¡± Drisz snapped to attention before rushing out to inform the engineering teams himself.

    ¡°Britlok!¡±

    ¡°Yes Sir?!¡±

    ¡°Until those systems are running I want security teams patrolling the halls. Investigate any disturbances or I will have your hide, understand?¡±

    ¡°Understood, Supervisor!¡± Britlok snapped back while cursing in his mind.

    The supervisor was wrong, it have been less than a full Earth-day since one of the Thanagarians stationed on this mudball had infiltrated the base using one of their own ships and had gone on a rampage trying to reach the human scientist before they were forcibly ejected by a desperate teleportation trap.

    If they were a proper warband, they would have demanded reinforcements or relocated by now. But after the last battlegroup¡¯s defeat at the hand of the planet¡¯s defenders Britlok¡¯s group of scouts were only supposed to observe and sabotage when the time was right. They did not have the resources to move their base of operations without being discovered by the locals and would have to stealthily steal anything they needed, such as what the elite Talon warriors were doing right now for the last materials required for the human to finish their work.

    Britlok could only hope that they returned and the human was successful before the Thanagarian wised up and called on the other defenders for help.

    Any proper Gordanian wouldn¡¯t shrink from such a fight but Britlok wasn¡¯t foolish enough to believe that an understrength, undersupplied scout division would be enough to guarantee the weapon would make it off the planet intact.

    The Supervisor probably also knew but that didn¡¯t change the fact they were helpless to do anything but wait until the human¡¯s work was done and was simply venting his frustrations to his underlings.

    So while he relayed orders to the idle warriors to patrol the halls in groups of four, Britlok didn¡¯t pay much attention to the patrol groups until he realized three of them hadn¡¯t reported back during their scheduled time.

    While part of him wanted to raise the alarm immediately, there were no indications that they were under attack.

    No damage alerts, no war cries, and the missing patrols were so deep in their own territory that it was simply impossible to be a Thanagarian agent.

    Without at least a suspicion of what happened to those partols the Supervisor would tear off his hide.

    This would have to be investigated personally.

    Britlok set a delayed alarm at his station and gathered up a few warriors to accompany him. If it turned out to be nothing more than a communication deadzone he could be back at his station and nothing would make it back to the Supervisor. And if something was wrong and prevented him from reporting the rest of the division would be alerted when Britlok didn¡¯t make it back to his console, presuming he didn¡¯t raise an alarm earlier.

    And as much as he would have preferred the walk to be silent, warriors would be warriors and it didn¡¯t take long before the lower caste peons he gathered began gossiping behind him in hushed voices.

    ¡°So what do you think, equipment interference or infiltrator?¡±

    ¡°It must be interference. I heard from one of the engineers that the shielding for the internal communication network had to be stripped out in places to fix the outpost¡¯s electronic cloaking systems. They thought having dead zones was better than risking the locals discovering us even with their primitive tools.¡±

    ¡°I think it''s an infiltrator. How else would a Thanagarian think of sneaking into an outpost instead of charging us, screaming the whole time?¡±

    ¡°Impossible. They would have to be strong enough to defeat an entire patrol group and any of the beings on this planet strong enough to do so wouldn¡¯t bother with sneaking around.¡±

    ¡°It could happen! There¡¯s a Manhunter that worked with one of the Thanagarians to drive away the Imperium!¡±

    ¡°One time. Next you¡¯ll say it¡¯s that juvenile Saiyan we¡¯ve heard about.¡±

    Britlok suppressed a shudder at the mention of the Saiyan. It wasn¡¯t exactly the warrior¡¯s fault. None of them had access to the historical reports about various alien races the Citadel considered extreme threats. Even Britlok only knew about them due to his time working under a different Supervisor that dealt with ancient conflicts.

    The tales of Imperial Krypton, the Burning Martians, the Deep Space Imperium, and many others were the kind of thing that kept you up at night.

    Thankfully the Green Lanterns¡¯ Guardians had done one thing right in the galaxy and destroyed the Burning Martians somehow, and there would never again be a near invincible army of conquering Kryptonians thanks to the explosion of their planet and near extinction, but the story that always bothered Britlok the most was the one about the Deep Space Imperium.

    Their most recent defeat by the Earthlings proved the Imperium was far from the superpower written about long ago when they were a swarm that consumed entire solar systems at a time, but what most didn¡¯t know was that the Imperium hadn¡¯t been defeated by another major faction like most other histories assumed.

    They had been destroyed by a single golden Saiyan.

    And while the Saiyans as a race had eventually been quarantined by the Green Lanterns, Britlok knew they hadn¡¯t been modified like the Martians had¡­or if they had it had clearly failed in some way. Afterall, you didn¡¯t quarantine something unless it had the chance to become too dangerous to control and yet you lacked the ability to conquer it. Because if one Saiyan could become that powerful, so could another.

    And if one did Britlok wasn¡¯t sure all the power the Citadel could bring to bear would be able to stop them.

    ¡°Enough talk,¡± he ordered and looked over his shoulder. ¡°Focus on ¨C where are the other two?¡±

    Of the five warriors he had brought with him only three were still in the hall. And going by the flashes of surprise and frantic looking around the remaining three weren¡¯t aware that they had gone missing.

    Britlok hissed and quickly shoved his way past the startled warriors while grabbing his personal plasma baton. But even backtracking their path for a few meters showed no trace of his missing personnel. They were missing.

    His hand immediately went for his communicator to issue an outpost wide alert, but even when he used the command frequency nothing happened. It was just his luck they were in a deadzone.

    ¡°Pair up, no one moves anywhere alone.¡± Britlok ordered. ¡°Keep an eye out for anything suspicious and shout the moment you see something.¡± Without waiting for an acknowledgement, Britlok immediately began heading back the way they came.

    If he could find an area to restore communications they could flush the intruder out¡­

    Instincts honed from years of dealing with vindictive Supervisors looking to vent their frustrations on an unsuspecting underling suddenly started screaming.

    He turned and pointed his plasma baton at the source of the feeling just in time to see a shadowy¡­something¡­dart back from a vent opening.

    ¡°!¡±

    The vents! Whatever the infiltrator was had been hunting them from inside the walls!

    Britlok didn¡¯t hesitate to open fire into the vent opening, even knowing there likely wasn¡¯t anything there to hit. The walls might have given the energy bolts some trouble, but the thin metal of the grate was vaporized almost immediately.

    ¡°It''s in the walls! Destroy the intruder!¡± He ordered his warriors before immediately turning to run away from the corridor. There was a confirmed infiltrator, the outpost needed to be alerted!

    There was a sudden screech of tearing metal followed by the scream of one of his warriors as they engaged whatever had emerged to attack them. A sudden surge of light and pressure illuminated the hall and the sounds of his warriors¡¯ own plasma batons suddenly went silent.

    Britlok wasted no time continuing to run.

    Three more trained warriors defeated in less than a few seconds¡­

    Britlok was naturally stronger and more skilled than them due to his position and those three were certainly no elites, but he knew he wouldn¡¯t be able to match that feat within the same time. He absolutely had to raise the alarm!

    A security hatch was all that stood between Britlok and a section of the outpost he was sure had communication access. All he needed to do was open it¨C

    A bright yellow orb of energy missed his arm by inches and slammed into the hatch¡¯s control panel, melting it to slag and rendering the door inoperable.

    Britlok slowed to a standstill and stared in disbelief, knowing that he had failed even as the shadow of his pursuer loomed over him.

    At least he could take comfort in knowing the alarm would eventually be raised¡­

    He just wondered if anyone would be able to do anything about it before the creature hunting him vanished back into the shadows¡­

 Growing Pains - Chapter 47

    ''Hmm, that could have gone better.¡¯ I mused as I floated over the unconscious body of the lizard that almost got away.

    I mean, I caught him before he could raise the alarm, but I¡¯d also ended up blowing a giant hole in the wall when they realized I was in the vents and started shooting them up. Someone was going to come and notice that at some point if they didn¡¯t discover the door I had just disabled by blasting the control panel.

    That meant I was now on a timer to get stuff done before alarms started going off and the lizards ran off with their evil, bioweapon creating scientist or the bioweapon itself. Or even worse, decided to use the thing.

    Which¡­wasn¡¯t great for me.

    I was decently confident that I could take the whole base by myself if they were all like the partols I ambushed so far. But I couldn¡¯t exactly punch a virus.

    And if the lizards were planning on using this weapon on a whole spacefaring warrior empire like the Thanagarians, who probably had better healthcare than all but maybe the best Earth had to offer, it wasn''t going to be some easy-to-get-over thing like a common cold.

    I needed to find the scientist, now.

    And as I looked down at the bodies of the patrol I had just beaten, I think I knew how I was going to do that.

    I¡¯d learned a lot from Batman, afterall¡­

    -o-

    ¡°Wakey, wakey.¡± I crooned as the last of the important looking lizardmen I¡¯d captured regained consciousness.

    He looked a little startled to be hanging upside down from the ceiling, but pretty soon that was going to be the least of his worries.

    ¡°A little birdy told me you all have been naughty, trying to build a bioweapon to win your war without a proper fight.¡± I gathered a bit of Ki into my eyes, just enough to make them glow. A pretty pointless technique overall, but one that let me copy the soulless glare of Batman¡¯s cowl without a mask of my own.

    ¡°So¡­who wants to tell me what I want to know? Or do I have to be¡­¡± My tail flicked out and tossed the crumpled up form of one of the lizardmen¡¯s helmets. One I¡¯d crushed before any of them woke up after taking it off the grunt in question, but they didn¡¯t know that. ¡°...creative?¡±

    -o-

    Britlok awoke with a splitting headache and realized fairly quickly that, one, he wasn¡¯t dead and two, he had been captured and hung upside down. A decent power play by his captor, showing respect for Britlok¡¯s abilities by ensuring he was put as off-balance as possible as he woke up¡­and the complete control they had over him by not only managing to do so without him being able to struggle, but three other Gordanians as well. Who could have¡­

    The Saiyan!

    Britlok forced himself to focus through the blood rushing through his head and look for his captor. It was¡­harder than it should have been, possible concussion then, but he managed. To a point.

    The Saiyan was partially hidden in shadow thanks to a light source behind them that made their outline blurry, but they were bigger than the child the outpost had seen. Adolescent or adult depending on where they were in their development cycle. The terrifying thing though was the eyes.

    Solid pools of gold staring directly into his mind. Looking for the slightest excuse or weakness to devour them all, as seen by their disapproval of the development of a bioweapon.

    And their words¡­a little birdy told them?

    ¡°The Thanagarians¡­¡± He whispered in horror. ¡°...they unleashed a Golden Saiyan on us¡­¡±

    He felt one or two of the others stiffen in horror at his words, the more educated grunts that had access to existential threats the Gordanians faced.

    Britlok could barely focus through the headache that was forming, but he was unsurprised to hear one of the grunts telling the Saiyan what it wanted to know. Maybe if they did so it would turn on the Thanagarians¡­

    -o-

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    ¡°That was weird.¡± I muttered as I shut the door behind me. All the lizardmen were still tied up but I put them back on the floor because how they reacted after waking up¡­yeah, that was really weird.

    Maybe I hit them too hard? One of them mumbled something that I didn¡¯t catch and then all of them practically shouted the answer to everything I asked which didn¡¯t really mesh with the whole slaver with a superiority complex image I had gotten from the conversations I¡¯d overheard. I mean they were still slavers and still trying to unleash a species specific bioweapon so I wasn¡¯t going to feel bad about it, but¡­man, I wanted to rub it in Birdbrain¡¯s face that I used things Batman had only indirectly taught us better than he could. If he ever found out it only worked because I broke them I would never hear the end of it¡­

    Well the good news was that I had the location of the scientist¡¯s lab now. As long as no one asked how I figured that out I just wouldn¡¯t bring it up.

    Now I just needed to get there¡­

    After a quick check that no alarms were going off ¨C as far that I could tell, anyway ¨C I ducked back into the vents and followed the directions I¡¯d been given as best that I could since the vents didn¡¯t perfectly follow the corridors.

    I got turned around a few times and once I simply couldn¡¯t find a way forward so I left the vents before ducking back into it after I found another entrance farther ahead but eventually I passed over one of the less busted up sections of the mountain base and figured I was in the right place when I saw two grunts guarding a door at attention unlike the more casual postures I¡¯d found them in when I was doing my earlier snooping.

    ¡­the human woman working behind a glass window was also a pretty big hint.

    I looked around for a way to sneak up on the guards, but by coincidence or on purpose for once there was no easy way to sneak up on them that I could see. I cracked my knuckles and smiled. Direct way it was then.

    I raised a leg and kicked at the vent¡¯s grating, causing it to smash into the opposite wall and kick up quite a bit of dust, before flying out and making a hard turn to rush the two guards. They had only just started to react to my sudden appearance when I grabbed both of them by the head and smashed the two of them together. I quickly backflipped back down the hall and got ready for them to retaliate¡­only to see that they were both unconscious from that single hit.

    ¡°...¡±

    These lizardguys were kinda weak, huh? Which was weird because they were supposed to be fighting Hawkie¡¯s race to a draw and she never went down in one hit.

    Maybe these guys were just weaklings and the only real fighters were the ones that left earlier? If that was the case that would kinda suck, but at least I got some stealth practice in.

    After a mental shrug I simply walked up to the lab door and pressed a button before just walking in, much to the scientist¡¯s annoyance.

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m doing the best I can already and bothering me every half hour isn¡¯t going to make me work any faster or magic up materials I just don¡¯t have. So can we just skip the threats this time and acknowledge that you¡¯ll just have to wait till I¡¯m done?¡± She snapped without even looking at me. I guess working with alien lizard slavers was making her a little tense.

    ¡°I¡¯d rather get you to stop working, actually.¡± I replied flippantly. ¡°I heard you¡¯re working on something pretty nasty and I¡¯d hate to have to break your knees because of it.¡± That was a lie. As far as I was concerned, evil scientists automatically had their knee privileges revoked but I¡¯d at least give her a chance first.

    The woman froze at the sound of my voice before whipping around to face me. I gave her a smile and a wave.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t working with the Gordanians, are you?¡±

    Was that what the lizard guys were called? ¡°Nope! Unless you count giving several of them an unscheduled nap as working with them.¡±

    ¡°Oh, thank God! You have to help me get out of here!¡±

    ¡°...huh?¡± That was not what I was expecting from someone working with alien lizard slavers. ¡°Um¡­okay. Why do I need to get you out of here, exactly?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m Doctor Amelie Roquette, I¡¯m a virologist working for STAR Labs. About three weeks ago I was kidnapped by the Gordanians and forced to work here¡­but, shouldn¡¯t you know this? You¡¯re one of the Justice League¡¯s sidekicks, right?¡±

    Annnnd she officially ticked me off.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not one of the Justice League¡¯s sidekicks. I¡¯m not anyone¡¯s sidekick.¡± I growled. ¡°More importantly, where¡¯s the bioweapon and how do I blow it up?!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t blow up a bioweapon, you idiot!¡± The scien¨C Amelie hissed back. ¡°That¡¯s just asking for part of it to spread uncontrollably! But that¡¯s not the point. There is no bioweapon. The Gordanians wanted me to make them immune to a virus that was fatal to their enemies, but you can¡¯t just ¡®program¡¯ a virus like that. Certainly not in just one week. One mutation would make the whole thing uncontrollable, not that the leader of these aliens would listen to me!

    ¡°I¡¯ve barely even mapped out how the virus interacts with the Gordanian immune system, let alone weaponizing it against a single species, or making them immune, or any other crazy demand they have!

    ¡°So can you just help me get out of here so we can call the actual heroes to deal with this whole mess?!¡± Amelie ranted, breathing a little heavily at the end.

    She seemed stressed.

    But that also didn¡¯t match up to what I¡¯d already overheard while I had been sneaking around the base. The lizardguys definitely had her working on what they believed was a weapon, and they even said it was already deadly to humans.

    ¡°So what, you just ran tests and made stuff up for a week while you were waiting to be rescued?¡± I asked.

    ¡°W-well¡­¡±

    Oh that didn¡¯t sound good.

    ¡°Okay, look, they kept me locked up in here working all day constantly and kept demanding updates. If I wanted to stay safe I needed to show them at least a little improvement towards what they were asking me so I might have made a few vials that should be less infectious towards their biology. But nothing like the superweapon they wanted! For anyone else it would be the same if they ran into the virus anywhere else on Earth!¡±

    ¡°Mhmm¡­¡±

    I wasn¡¯t really sure if I could believe her, but at the same time I just realized that I wouldn¡¯t be able to do much if she was lying. So I was going to punt the whole issue to the Justice League and if Amelie was lying for some reason she could try lying to Batman.

    ¡°Alright, fine. Let¡¯s get out of here.¡±

    Amelie breathed a sigh of relief and rushed over to a computer and quickly grabbed what looked like a thumb drive and shoved it in a pocket.

    ¡°This has all my data on what I did while I was here. The information about a completely alien immune system alone is invaluable for research purposes.¡± She defended seeing my curious look.

    I just shrugged. It wasn¡¯t like that was going to slow us down much.

    ¡°So how did you get this far in the base anyway, and how are we going to sneak out without them noticing us?¡± Amelie asked.

    I scratched the back of my head as I thought about it. I didn¡¯t think a normal human her size would have an issue crawling through the vents, but at the same time I hadn¡¯t been thinking about it. ¡°I used the air vents to sneak around most of the time so we could probably sneak out that way if we can find our way back to the exit. I didn¡¯t exactly keep track of which way I was going the whole time.¡±

    ¡°What? Why not?!¡±

    ¡°Why would I?! I wasn¡¯t expecting to have to lead someone else out of here!¡±

    Amelie gave me a slow disbelieving look. ¡°You weren¡¯t expecting¡­but aren¡¯t you working with Hawkgirl to rescue me?¡±

    I gave her a look back. ¡°Hawkie was looking for you? And no I just stumbled across the base and thought it would be fun to sneak in and poke around.¡±

    ¡°...you thought it would be fun¡­to sneak into a Gordanian outpost¡­just on a whim?!¡±

    ¡°I mean I didn¡¯t know they were Gordanians but, yeah kinda?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re insane!¡±

    I scowled at her. ¡°Saiyan actually. Now are you going to get in the vent or are we just going to go through the halls? Cause I¡¯m fine with either.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t go through the halls.¡± she snapped at me. ¡°They would raise an alarm immediately!¡±

    Almost immediately after she said lights started flashing and a klaxon could be heard going off in the distance.

    I just looked at her and raised an eyebrow. ¡°Well, alarms going off. Vents or halls?¡±