《Guanyin's Journey to the West》


 A Fake Guanyin Bodhisattva and A Real Sun Wukong

    Due to the over-hyped propaganda of the Buddhist Propaganda Committee, all the world believes that the Western Paradise is a paradise of holiness and pureness.


    *Sigh*, I have told you all that over-hyped propaganda is not a good thing. You as preachers have made us look like an enthusiastic pyramid selling organization. What reaction do you expect from those inside the Western Paradise?


    As Buddhas, they live in a world in which flowers bloom and fruits ripen every day. Tell me, what other wishes do they have? Everyone has no sense of time. For example, someone says: ¡®Let¡¯s save the world!¡¯


    There will be Buddha saying: ¡®Sure. Let us prepare for one hundred years and then we shall go.¡¯


    Things that have existed for a long time have the potential to be a spirit; buddhas who have existed for a long time are prone to be lazy.


    I, the Goddess of Mercy, the One Who Perceives the Sounds of the World, Guanyin Bodhisattva in Putuo Mount, Nanhai, of course, am a fake the Goddess of Mercy, the One Who Perceives the Sounds of the World, Guanyin Bodhisattva in Putuo Mount, Nanhai.


    I am from the 21st century.


    Since I have lived for too long, I have forgot my past. I don¡¯t remember my past name, or how I died in the 21st century. My memory is like a white empty ground of clean. I was not a buddha, but I have been lazy enough to become a buddha. However, at the beginning, I was not lazy like this.


    As a buddha from the 21st century, I enjoyed all the buffs that the Tathagata Buddha cast on me, but soon I realized that the more abilities you have, the more responsibilities you have. No one will grant you so much power for nothing. His goal is to let me work for him willingly without getting paid.


    Of course, I have my payment. I have lots of incense money from all my temples built by humans. I finally understand after being extremely tired but couldn¡¯t karoshi because I am a buddha, that knowing what happened in the past, and what will happen in the future, and having hundreds of thousands of statues as my incarnations, and existing everywhere is not a good setting! No matter how much incense money I receive, it cannot heal the damage in my mental mind.


    I didn¡¯t want to know what that ugly old man had done with his young pretty wife yesterday! I am going blind!


    During the first few days when I became Guanyin, I couldn¡¯t deal with these at all.


    Although I have countless incarnations, I only have one brain of my own. Due to the setting, I will know things in the past and in the future, from all four directions, everything. To be honest, I doubt my mind will be blown to disorder at the beginning.


    Unfortunately, I am a bodhisattva, so I will not have a brain disorder. I will never have a brain disorder no matter how much information I take in.


    After I am finally used to this horrifying setting, I am used to everything. I am used to my body of immortal. I am used to the huge information flow every day. I am used to my spoiler life. Suddenly the Tathagata Buddha says to me: ¡®I have pressed and imprisoned that monkey which rebelled against heaven under the Five Element Mountain.¡¯


    Everyone in the Western Paradise says: ¡®We knew it.¡¯


    The Tathagata Buddha says: ¡®I think it is not good to imprison it forever. How about we let it go in five-hundred years.¡¯


    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????!!!!!!


    Although the Tathagata Buddha has left many classical long-lasting scriptures, he doesn¡¯t talk like a scripture all the time. Speakers are like that. They act official at the podium, but they talk casually at ordinary times.


    In fact, this thing had nothing to do with me at first, but he suddenly turns to me and I know I am in trouble.


    He says: ¡®From now on, he is your responsibility, Guanyin bodhisattva.¡¯


    If my past time as Guanyin is a pond of stagnant water of calmness, Sun Wukong must be the scary troublemaker from nowhere. As the all-knowing bodhisattva, I don¡¯t know what this monkey is going to do next. This guy born from the rock has a rock brain and he drubbed all thirty-three levels of heaven and left no peace in the Lingxiao Palace. Even I do not know what he is going to do.¡¯


    My 100% spoiler life caused by my supernatural power suddenly has a variety in one day.


    This variety seems to be born to be a troublemaker of mine.


    In fact, the rules in the mortal world are simple. The more common a thing it, the worthless it is. Things like trees, flowers, bunnies, birds, or even humans, can become a spirit usually. It is easy for them to become a spirit and once they become a spirit, they don¡¯t have much power. However, a rock had never had a spirit coming out in the past that once it has, the rock spirit leaves no peace in the world.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    As a result, after Sun Wukong was born, I always think that if a pile of shit gives birth to a shit spirit, will this shit spirit be more powerful than Sun Wukong?


    Due to this reason, I even turn in my suggestion to the Six Circles Management Committee and ask them to treat shit well so that they cannot give birth to a shit spirit accidentally which will cause a great influence in the world.


    My action does not aim to blaspheme gods because everything is equal in buddhas¡¯ eyes. A pile of shit is no different from a gold bar. There is never a distinction. This is the buddhas¡¯ level.


    Yet, the problem of why I am sitting on a lotus flower instead of a pile of shit has bewildered me for a long time and I finally come up with an answer: although everything has no distinctions in the enlightened eyes, things have distinctions in the mortals¡¯ eyes; in order for the mortals to better understand Buddhism, we choose items according to the mortals¡¯ eyes to define our actions.


    However, this profound idea doesn¡¯t help my suggestion to be approved. My colleagues only have one reaction to my suggestion: since Guanyin has so much free time, Sun Wukong shall be taken care of by you.


    In reaction to this, I refuse it.


    I am a straight forward person and I don¡¯t like making references in a conversation, so I say no.


    Sun Wukong is not only a troublemaker, he is the biggest troublemaker I have ever seen in my life. Wherever he goes, there is no peace.


    Now the Tathagata Buddha clears his voice.


    He says, ¡®According to you, a pile of shit is no different from a gold bar.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes, but I am talking about the inner of these two items. They are still different on their outside appearances.¡¯


    The Tathagata Buddha says: ¡®So, the essence of these is the same.¡¯


    I have to admit that he concludes it well, but we are having a meeting right now. We are not preaching, and I am flustered when he suddenly changes the topic.


    At the end, he concludes that: ¡®So, giving Sun Wukong to you and not giving Sun Wukong to you are the same in their essence.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I really want to refute that you cannot force me to do this in this way. Everyone knows Sun Wukong is a nightmare in all three circles. We used to have our casual life and he drubbed everyone¡¯s life into a disorder. This is really troublesome.


    This guy is avoided between heaven and the Western Paradise for hundreds of years. Every department has been saying that they don¡¯t take this monkey. At last this Sun Wukong is in front of my door, the door of Guanyin bodhisattva. What is more unfortunate is that I carelessly have a door slit.


    *Sigh*, why did I turn in my shit suggestion? Well, now I have to take care of Sun Wukong and everything.


    The Tathagata Buddha speaks, and I can give my advice. I cannot refute because he is my boss. He pays me.


    In the end, I say nothing.


    He seems to try to comfort me and says: ¡®Your suggestion about shit is interesting. We will consider it.¡¯


    Actually, I had other things to say at the beginning.


    I wanted to say that both the Western Paradise and heaven are a pile of shit; everyone is a pile of shit, but everyone is used to this pile of shit that no one thinks it is not good; one day Sun Wukong fought and entered heaven, mashing all richly decorated and jade palace in heaven, overturning the jade pool and the peach grove; then they realized that behind these colorful clouds in the sky, heaven is no different from the mortal world and hell.


    The problem is that everyone thought there was a big difference.


    When everyone realizes that there isn¡¯t any difference, the real trouble comes.


    These silk costumes, jade ruyi, that peach grove and jade pool, that golden palace and the throne, these celestial drinking in the bottle of Queen Mother, these endless daytimes upon the thirty-three levels of heaven¡­¡­ these endless beauty, goodness, auspiciousness, and harmony in mortals¡¯ eyes.


    That is the difference between clouds and mud.


    This troublemaker intended to tear up these gorgeous costumes, to trash these golden jade bowls and throw them into ash. He has let everyone see what is behind these richly made costumes, these beautiful goddesses, and these celestial elixirs.


    The end of what the mortals expect to have from auspiciousness, harmony, and long-living.


    This guy, no, this monkey, no, this rock, represents more trouble than I expected.


    Under the circumstances, I have no chance to reject. I can only ask my last question: ¡®What if Sun Wukong picks on and uncovers these departments again? What do I do?¡¯


    I have said it at the beginning. Over-hyped propaganda is not a bad thing, but insiders need to deal with bugs.


    The Tathagata says: ¡®Find problems and solve them.¡¯


    I understand it totally right after he says it.


    If Sun Wukong accidentally discovers a bug in this beautiful scene, I have to fix it and make another beautiful scene.


    This is not Sun Wukong¡¯s journey to get scriptures at all.


    This, this, this, this is my Guanyin¡¯s journey to get scriptures for them!


    The order from the Tathagata Buddha is profound. Let me translate it to human-understandable words. It is mainly three points.


    First, I will need to design their nine times nine, eighty-one adventurous difficulties on their journey. We want people to think that our Buddhism Propaganda Committee is up high and although we want to get more followers, we want the qualified followers. In words, we will have selections, tests, and hardships for them.


    However, we cannot have these difficulties too difficult. If we got no followers at the end, we all will die from having no followers.


    What is more, the Tathagata Buddha has decided the one who is going to take the scriptures away. Although he didn¡¯t say it out loud, I am not dumb and I know it too. If that scriptures taker makes an easy journey, that will be my fault. If he dies on the way, that will be my fault too!


    *Sigh*. I know the Tathagata Buddha is a very nice buddha. He is probably the nicest buddha in the world. But the world is like this, no one is perfect, including buddhas. I don¡¯t like him treating me in this way.


    From now on, I am in a dilemma: I cannot only do what he told me to do and I cannot avoid things that he didn¡¯t tell me to do; I only have a small gray area where I can do stuff.


    Then, I have only one way left.


    I am going to design an adventure which is impossible for the scriptures taker to finish by himself. Then, I am going to cheat for him by myself.


    As a result, later in order to express the sincerity of our buddhas, I carelessly put my foot in my mouth: ¡®No matter what happenes in the future, just come to me and I will help.¡¯


    I thought, this would be perfect.


    But I didn¡¯t expect¡­¡­


    That god damn it Sun Wukong does whatever he wants and beats everyone he sees and comes to me for help.


    At that moment, I sadly tell him the truth: ¡®Sun Wukong, you are really the biggest troublemaker, I as the Mercy Goddess have ever seen in my five-thousand years of life.¡¯

 An Honest Man-eater

    Long before I go to pick disciples for the scriptures taker, I need to clarify many things.


    During that meeting in Western Paradise with Tathagata Buddha, we planned to talk about issues about the scriptures taker.


    Hmmm, we want to get more followers, but we cannot just give away our scriptures which is not a good thing to do. In fact, the Tathagata Buddha gave the scriptures to China once in the past and he was not welcomed.


    According to him, those Chinese at that time period did not have the Buddhist potential. They were the worst potential followers ever. They were not only stupid, but they also defamed Buddhism. Their neglect to Buddhism was a slight. Anyway, now they have to find a scriptures taker to bring the Buddhism scriptures back after eighty-one adventurous difficulties.


    You know. People don¡¯t value things which are easy to get.


    Since everyone in the Western Paradise has lived for too long and no one has a sense of time. If the meeting strays from the original point, it will stray and get back to the original point after hundreds of years. If the meeting strays further, thousands of years are needed to get back to the original point.


    As a result, the topic of the scriptures taker from China has become my image problem in the East.


    There are a few possibilities of my gender under the disproportioned propaganda by the Buddhist Propaganda Committee.


    One, I am a female.


    Two, I am a guy but I have a female face.


    Three, I have no gender because Buddhism treats everything equally.


    The Tathagata Buddha is prone to the last idea. It is said that he planned to make me a neutral image to represent gender equality.


    The problem is that I was a guy already when he had that thought. If he wanted to remould me, he would need to do some secret changes with lots of effort.


    *Sigh*. When we first founded Buddhism, no one had expected it to spread so widely. No one expected that the content of Buddhist rumors was gradually changed one after one.


    The problem is that, I am a guy in India and I am a woman in the East. This makes me feel awkward because people can accept a deity to be neutral but not to be having both genders.


    The Tathagata Buddha was going to make this change, but later he gave up because he thought it was unfair for me. If he had done it, it would make me look like a mascot of Buddhism.


    Deity is a creature of the same. They will be like what people think they should be like. When humans think I have a female body, I have to wear a female dress in order to maximize my deity power. When humans think I have a male body, I will have limited deity power even if I wear the magic robe of Queen Mother of the West.


    The Tathagata Buddha has been talking on and on about changing my gender for thousands of years, but now I am still dressing like a female as a male.


    To be honest, I don¡¯t care about whether he will solve this problem now. I am already a bodhisattva and my six roots of sensations are pure and clean and I view everything equally. The key point is that even if I have a penis, I cannot use it. No one will care for a useless thing.


    Thus, in order to support his idea of equality, I have said that I can sacrifice myself to express my loyalty to Buddhism.


    The Tathagata Buddha is touched by my words but when we are talking about this, another bodhisattva says: ¡®You shouldn¡¯t pay less attention to it even though you don¡¯t use it. We treat everything equally that every organ should be treated equally as well.¡¯


    What¡­¡­


    At this moment, another bodhisattva says: ¡®Human men never use their nipples either, but men¡¯s nipples have been there for thousands of years. No one cut their nipples off just because they are useless. Guanyin bodhisattva do not prejudice against your own organs.¡¯


    What¡­¡­


    I was going to ask how you knew human men do not use their nipples. It is like the epityphlon which is useless and sometimes causes death to humans. Yet, I cannot ask this in case they find me a fake Guanyin.


    This meeting is beyond my endurance so I say: ¡®After all these talks, are you guys planning to let me propagandize for the equality of cross-dressed people when the human society is more developed?¡¯


    The Tathagata Buddha says: ¡®No, of course not. Why do you have such a narrow-minded thought?¡¯


    Another bodhisattva also says: ¡®Everything is equal. There is no distinction. A man dressed in a female dress is no different from a man dressed in a male dress.¡¯


    Later, the topic has become whether a man dressed in a female dress is equal to a woman dressed in a male dress. No one is talking about my gender problem anymore.


    Normally, after they come up with a solution for that problem, they can come back to my gender problem. However, that problem is complex. For example, one says that genders are equal, and another one will ask that why people will praise cross-dressed females as strong and cross-dressed males as weak and funny? They aren¡¯t equal.


    During their fight, someone else says that since genders are not equal, we have to make them equal. This meeting is never going to end.


    Anyway, everything is equal. I don¡¯t care about these.


    I watch them talking and talking on because they have an unburdened mind, but I am going to be bothered to death by that troublemaker Sun Wukong.


    Thus, I leave quietly under their arguing voices with my incommunicative weird disciple Huian to talk about problems of the scriptures taker.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    As a matter of fact, I met a pedant when I went down to the mortal world for work. That pedant had a wide range of knowledge and he had a lot to chat with me, a bodhisattva who didn¡¯t read many books but know a lot of things. During our conversation, he suddenly got mad and argued with me about the gender of Guanyin bodhisattva.


    I told him, that Guanyin bodhisattva is a guy looking like a woman. At least, he is like that in the East. However, he got mad instantly and recalled countless scriptures and allusions to prove whether I was a guy or a woman.


    In fact, we in the Western Paradise do not care about gender.


    In order to show him the truth, after he finished reciting hundreds of classics for me to investigate, I took off my clothes and pointed at my dick, telling him that I was Guanyin; I had what a man had; I didn¡¯t have what a woman had but if I wanted I could have what a woman had because I was a buddha. Buddhas were humans at the beginning. In order to become a buddha, one needs to be a human first. Buddhas¡¯ passion comes from their experience as humans. Otherwise, buddhas will be really rootless, unworldly, and they will not be buddhas anymore.


    What I didn¡¯t expect was that he was shocked at me and began to vent a torrent of abuse, saying that I was insulting Guanyin with my disorderly conduct. He accused me for showing the inelegant ugly thing of my body.


    *Sigh*, I have said it that our Western Paradise doesn¡¯t care about these. We emphasize on equality so organs are equal to each other as well; these eyes, noses, mouths, arms, butts, and thighs are equal in status. There is no way that eyes can be shown and other parts should be hidden. But considering the limitation of humans, we avoid these sensitive areas when we preach¡­¡­


    But I could not clarify this to him, I could only tell him that no matter what a buddha is, a guy or a woman, a human or a dog, this buddha exists to enlighten all and let them have a passionate heart as well. Humans always say that gods have one more eye than humans, but I never hear people saying this bodhisattva has one more dick than humans. This is their mind limitation.


    Yet, that pedant didn¡¯t listen to me. He only heard that I said bodhisattva had one more dick, so he viewed me as a hentai. He didn¡¯t even recite scriptures to me and thought I was a gay who wanted to take advantage of him. He ran away.


    At that time, I just became Guanyin not long ago. I didn¡¯t have a comprehensive understanding of how a buddha should preach to humans, so I chased after him and said that everything was equal; although men and women had different bodies, they were all humans so the love between guys and the love between guys and women were equal; the love between women shall also be equal to the love between women and guys because humans should love each other; it was only a matter of whether they would produce future generations of humans. But I am a buddha and you are a human, I can accept that you do not accept my idea; this is not a problem at all. It is like although our buddhas are free from sensations, we will not force others to be free from sensations as well¡­¡­


    As a result, the first human I reached was frightened out of his wits and screaming things like ¡°Help me! A madman!¡±. He ran away without looking back.


    Thus, this time as I am going down to the mortal world again, I shall not repeat my mistake.


    My first stop will be the flowing-sand river.


    This must not be a good place. This river cannot even support a leaf to flow. In fact, Buddha has told me that I shall pick obedient yokai as disciples to be the disciples of the scriptures taker. Yet I am not stupid, I know who he is referring to.


    The yokai in this flowing-sand river was a god in heaven. He was a gingerly god. He lifted curtains for Queen Mother of the West assiduously. He had been doing this simple task for thousands of years.


    He was an honest guy. Although he didn¡¯t get promoted to a higher position, he never complained. This well-behaved guy just kept lifting up and down the curtains.


    In conclusion, he was a little civil service guy who did things carefully. Although he didn¡¯t have any big contribution to heaven, he should be a model worker. He had been lifting the curtains for thousands of years without any more ambitions or complains. He was a precious good guy.


    Yet, even the most careful guy will have his careless time.


    As a result, this honest guy who didn¡¯t make any mistakes in the past had his hands tremble for a second during the Peach Banquet. He broke a glass vase.


    No one is perfect. Who haven¡¯t done something wrong? Why didn¡¯t they just punish him in heaven since he had been working so hard for many years?


    They didn¡¯t. Heaven whipped him eight-hundred times and transformed him ugly and exiled him down to the mortal world.


    This was not the end.


    After he was in the mortal world, heaven ordered flying swords to stab through his chest for no less than one hundred times every seven days. He is living in this flow-sand river in which leaves don¡¯t flow and cannot reincarnate out of this suffering of hunger and coldness.


    This is the end of a nice guy.


    After the Jade Emperor finished sending his orders, he forgot this little curtain lifter. After all, there are too many people wanting to be a part of heaven. Lifting curtains is a task without any requirement. This little civil service guy didn¡¯t talk much. After he was kicked out of heaven, no one remembered him.


    To be honest, accidents happen in every Peach Banquets. Heaven is rich enough to not go bankrupt just because of one or two broken glass vases. On that year when Sun Wukong stole many peaches and crashed the Peach Banquet with his weapon, did you see him being treated like this?


    He is just imprisoned under the Five Element Mountain.


    Is his body peeled off, or is he having flying swords stabbing through his chest, or his face ruined?


    So, being a nice guy is harder than being a monkey kid.


    In conclusion, a long time after this accident, Jade Emperor found his conscience and was like ¡°I seem to not like glass vases.¡±


    Yet, he has given his orders and this unlucky guy has been stabbed through by flying swords in a desolate and uninhabited land for hundreds of years. His flesh is poked and stabbed out by these tortures and he hasn¡¯t had anything to eat. But Jade Emperor is Jade Emperor, his words cannot be taken back easily. In words, this unlucky guy is impossible to go back to heaven.


    So, Jade Emperor comes up with a secret way to solve it. He shall pretend that all the suffering that this unlucky guy has endured will pay him back. These are his tests. Jade Emperor intercedes with Buddha to let this unlucky guy be a disciple of the scriptures taker. If Buddha agrees, then this unlucky guy will go to work for the Western Paradise. This will be Jade Emperor¡¯s pardon for him.


    Buddha looks at this unlucky guy and is like, ¡°Great! He is the guy we want in Western Paradise. Here we are too lazy and we need someone who can do actual stuff.¡¯


    However, this unlucky guy is recalled while there are many other unlucky guys are not. They are still suffering somewhere in the world.


    I think this unlucky guy is not hard to persuade. Although he is already a yokai, he should still be a nice honest guy.


    I love finding nice honest guys as disciples for the scriptures takers.


    Then, I keep my eyes open and see an ugly yokai jumping out from the sand-flowing river with water splashes.


    That was a shock to me. I didn¡¯t expect him to look like this at all. After all, he was a god working closely by Queen Mother of the West¡¯s side in the past. How did they transform him to be so ugly?


    I calm myself for a while and prepare to say something to this red-head with long tusks. Before I try to say, he raises up his staff and is going to catch me.


    ¡­¡­Although I have boundless magic, I don¡¯t like to fight. It will make my image not peaceful. Also, I am wearing woman¡¯s dress right now here in China. How can I fight in a woman¡¯s dress?


    As a result, my weird disciple Huian walks out to fight against this yokai. They fight on the coast of flowing-sand river into a mess.


    My weird disciple doesn¡¯t like to talk. That unlucky guy doesn¡¯t either, so I am agonized watching them fighting.


    At this moment, I suddenly discover that this honest nice guy has a necklace of human skulls.


    ¡­¡­Wait a minute, this string of human skulls are not common human skulls. I found them very familiar.


    Oh wait! These human skulls don¡¯t sink!


    ¡­¡­Aren¡¯t these skulls of that designated scriptures taker?!!??


    Another variety appears in my spoiler life. I look at this red-head long tusks man-eater and begin to ruminate.


    ¡­¡­Who told me this yokai was a nice honest guy?

 A Weird Disciple and an Ugly Yokai

    I stand aside watching Huian and that yokai fighting to the degree that the sky has darkened the ground. I am a little worried.


    On the surface, they have fought to a draw. Yet, my weird disciple is not stupid either. He definitely knows that this yokai is one disciple of the scriptures taker for sure. Huian needs to fight against him but he cannot kill this yokai. The best scenario will be that this yokai doesn¡¯t hold his grudge after the fight which is a hard task for Huian.


    Beating up this yokai is not a problem at all, but Buddha has said that he wanted me to bring back a nice honest guy so that we can let him do all the work in Western Paradise. However, based on his appearance, this guy doesn¡¯t look nice or honest at all.


    Being fallen is already his dark history. He even ate many humans after his fall from heaven. Among those victims eaten, some were important. His dark history will not bring him a bright future in Western Paradise.


    I can only try to comfort myself by thinking that an honest nice guy will be an honest nice guy forever. There is no way that he will go evil after just a few whips.


    ¡­¡­Oh, and the stabbing of flying swords.


    ¡­¡­Oh, and his ruined looking and exile.


    ¡­¡­Oh, and being exiled to this barren land with hunger, coldness, loneliness, helplessness, and nowhere to escape.


    Aren¡¯t these already the preconditions of going evil?!


    I cannot help doubting that if such a person can become a buddha after being treated like this, then I shall give my position as Guanyin bodhisattva up.


    At this moment, my weird disciple and the ugly yokai have begun the necessary process of shouting to curse each other. I see that my weird disciple finally is going to speak. For a moment, I am impressed. You know, this dude has been acting like a log since he came to Nanhai. No wonder his original name is Muzha. If unnecessary, he doesn¡¯t speak when he fights. Even when it is necessary to speak, he will try to speak the least. As a result, for many years I have been doubting if the Pagoda Bearing Heavenly King tortured his second son to a man-made dumb son.


    I sort of feel my real-life situation is different from the situations in books.


    That ugly yokai asks: ¡®Who are you?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®Huian.¡¯


    The ugly yokai asks again: ¡®Who is Huian?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®Me.¡¯


    ¡­¡­Now you know why I always call him my weird disciple!


    He is being weird in front of a yokai and I cannot tell this yokai how weird my disciple is. I can only watch them.


    The ugly yokai shouts: ¡®What are you going to do!¡¯


    Huian: ¡®Beat you.¡¯


    The ugly yokai beats him away with his staff: ¡®Where are you heading to?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®I go where my shifu goes.¡¯


    The ugly yokai is too mad to fight. He jabs his staff on the ground. He is not fighting anymore.


    He shouts at Huian: ¡®Where is your shifu going!?¡¯


    Huian looks back at me and then he looks at the ugly yokai. After a while, he says: ¡®Shifu didn¡¯t say.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Eventually, I have been watching from that yokai asking Huian about who, from where, and to where and getting no answers. I am waiting for Huian to explain why we are here.


    Huian has been living with me for at least three-thousand years, so he understands what I mean basically. However, even if he didn¡¯t get it, he will not ask me anyway.


    Finally, before Huian understands my meaning, that yokai suddenly recalls: ¡®Are you that son of Heavenly King Li? Are you the one with Guanyin in Nanhai?¡¯


    I feel strange when he says that as if Huian is not cultivating along my side but doing bad things with me.


    Huian says: ¡®Yes.¡¯


    The ugly yokai has a good understanding, so he asks again: ¡®You didn¡¯t go after your shifu and you are here on flowing-sand river? Why?¡¯


    Huian stares at him for a moment and moves his hand, pointing at me on the shore.


    At that moment by his pointing, I seem to be not a Goddess of Mercy Guan or his shifu. I seem to be a rock on the shore.


    After he finishes pointing at me, he says stuffily: ¡®Isn¡¯t this my shifu?¡¯


    Huian never shows a good sense. He has already spoken a lot with this yokai. What matters if he asks the yokai to come to see me? He didn¡¯t. He picks up that yokai like picking up a little chick as he walks to me pesante.


    That yokai didn¡¯t struggle and he just let Huian bring him to me.


    He sees me. At first, he was going to bend down his back and kneel to me, but he looks up at me for a while. He didn¡¯t kneel.


    This red-headed long tusk unlucky looking yokai stands in front of me. His kitchen light-like eyes shine once at first, and then darken back. He looks down and says: ¡®I didn¡¯t know you were Guanyin bodhisattva. I apologize for my rudeness. Fighting against your disciple is my fault. Let me apologize to you. I know that when I see Guanyin bodhisattva, I should kowtow to you, but I have sworn that I will never kneel to any gods or buddhas in the sky.¡¯Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡®Originally, I was that Curtain Lifting General in Lingxiao Palace. For thousands of years, I did the same thing over and over. Just because I broke one glass vase, Jade Emperor whipped me eight-hundred times and exiled me to this place and transformed me to be looking like this.¡¯ That ugly yokai suddenly smiles. He points at his chest to me: ¡®Every seven days, my heart in the chest is stabbed through by flying swords. This pain never goes numb for hundreds of years.¡¯


    ¡®I know I should not eat humans, but flowing-sand river is cold and starving. What else can I do except for eating humans? I was a good guy in heaven. I was reluctant to kill any living beings. At first when I was exiled, I knew I did something bad. I shouldn¡¯t have broken the treasure of Jade Emperor, but a murderer only dies once after being condemned. The pain will go away in their next life. What about me?¡¯


    His emotion is getting stronger and stronger. He is dragging the corner of his top outfit and pointing at the countless bruises on his chest. He shouts angrily one word after another: ¡®I have to die once every seven days! I can never be freed in all my lives!¡¯


    The ugly yokai¡¯s lips tremble: ¡®I don¡¯t want to believe that I can get a pardon now. Guanyin bodhisattva helps people among sufferings. I heard that you know the history and the future. Why don¡¯t you tell me whether or not I have done something off limits?¡¯


    I think, this honest nice man, is not the honest nice man in my definition.


    Even the best tolerant person will have a time when he bursts.


    What can I tell him? He just wants to ask me who did more wrongs, he or Jade Emperor, but Jade Emperor is Jade Emperor. Even if Jade Emperor is wrong, he cannot bear others saying he is wrong. If Jade Emperor is wrong, I can backtalk about him secretly. If he hears me backtalking about him, he will do the same thing to me. He will not exile me and stab my heart with flying swords.


    Our Western Paradise keeps distance with heaven usually. My words don¡¯t count in heaven. Moreover, is there a thing which has been defined as wrong and never happens again after?


    So I tell him: ¡®No, you are not wrong. That glass vase is wrong. Any breakable glass vase is not a good glass vase.¡¯


    The yokai: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He has been accumulating grievances for many years. He takes his chance of venting them out when he sees me. He has still not lost all his self-control. After my words, he finds he cannot shout anything out now.


    He stares at me silently, and then at my weird disciple.


    Huian says: ¡®Yeah, that was a celestial glass vase. It just broke easily, it must have a poor quality. If a celestial glass vase is the same as a glass vase in the mortal world, then heaven will lose its face. This was the fault of their purchasing office.¡¯


    My weird disciple sure enough understands me. He elaborates my words without any stiffness.


    This is his first time speaking this many words since he became my disciple, and he is speaking to ease this embarrassing situation. I am so impressed.


    That yokai murmurs: ¡®Is it, is it really that glass vase¡¯s fault?¡¯


    Huian gives the final word: ¡®That is the glass vase¡¯s fault.¡¯


    Then, I speak logically: ¡®Yes! You are not wrong, and you have contributed! I shall talk to Jade Emperor and ask him to take back those flying swords. I have looked at your bones and you have a promising future. Don¡¯t you want to join our Buddhism?¡¯


    My words sound like something from a pyramid selling organization. Even I myself am doubting if I have been infected by those in the Propaganda Committee.


    When I wasn¡¯t speaking, this yokai thinks he is not wrong. After my words, he doubts and thinks he is wrong. He feels like he is in a dream and he looks up at me as if he cannot believe what just happened: ¡®But, but I have guilt. Guanyin bodhisattva can plead mercy for me but how dare I bring disgrace to Buddhism with my guilt?¡¯


    His words actually fit in with my plan well. I can continue my next lines now.


    I say: ¡®How about this: you ask that scriptures taker from China who is going to India for scriptures to be his disciple. You protect him on his way to India. By the time you guys arrive in India, your guilt will be pardoned. You said that you will never kneel to any gods or buddhas now, but that scriptures taker is just a mortal human. He is going to India for Buddhist scriptures with his human body even if he knows there are many difficulties on his way. Don¡¯t you want to kneel to such a person? Since you want to join our Buddhism, why don¡¯t you have a Buddhist name? Let me name you, Sha Wujing.¡¯


    He looks at me with shock as he cannot believe. He opens his mouth and wants to speak. Yet he fails to speak any words. After a while, he suddenly kneels to the ground and cries: ¡®Sha Wujing kneels and appreciates bodhisattva!¡¯


    I am like: what use does you kneeling to me have? Even if I pardon you, I cannot change Jade Emperor this old dude to be a better god. You are a lucky guy, so I pardon you. After all, there are hundreds of thousands of unlucky dudes wanting to go to heaven. Although I am the Goddess of Mercy, I am not able to help any of those unlucky dudes.


    I say to him: ¡®Things in this world do not have a simple right or wrong. Why don¡¯t you look at that scriptures taker? He just wants to get scriptures from India. His way is full of sweat. He was eaten by you once. The next life of his came to you again. He is the real brave person. You cannot let your heart die just because your heart is stabbed by flying swords. You are the kind of person who will have a bright future. You will become a buddha and help every living being out of the sufferings. Don¡¯t give up here.¡¯


    I have learned after Buddha. Now I can bullshit better at my improvisation.


    Sha Wujing is crying and saying: ¡®I will not forget the kindness that Guanyin bodhisattva brought me in Buddhism and go to my grave remembering the kindness of Guanyin bodhisattva! Without bodhisattva¡¯s kindness, I would have rotted here with all the grievances in my heart! Even if I die, I will not¡­¡­¡¯


    I don¡¯t know why but this feeling similar to ¡°I will not let you off even if I die¡± has made me flustered.


    I: ¡®¡­¡­Okay okay. Don¡¯t cry and take care of these skulls of the scriptures taker. They will be useful in the future.¡¯


    Sha Wujing is wiping his tears as he walks into the flowing-sand river. I am finally relieved.


    At this moment, Huian standing next to me suddenly calls me: ¡®Shifu.¡¯


    He is silent after he called me.


    I know Huian this dude. If he decides to swallow his next words, he will not say them even if he is beaten.


    So, I am waiting for his next words patiently.


    After a long period of time, he is looking at the water in flowing-sand river and the darkened gloomy sky. He says stuffily: ¡®Where is a coincidence in this world?¡¯


    Yeah. Where is a coincidence in this world? There is never a lucky coincidence of that I passed by here and helped out a wronged soul. Everything of everything has been written down by the upper beings.


    I watch his face. He seems to realize something, but he is afraid of something that he didn¡¯t say it aloud.


    I have been living with him for a long time. I know him just like he knows me.


    I say to him: ¡®Now you know why your father paid so much to send you to me instead of keeping you in heaven.¡¯


    He glances at me and looks back to looking at the back of Sha Wujing: ¡®Yes.¡¯


    I watch his face and suddenly I feel his next words are too dangerous to be spoken.


    As a result, before he says it, I warn him: ¡®No, you are never allowed to think like this. If you think like this, you will not be my disciple anymore.¡¯


    Although a weird disciple is weird, he is my disciple. After a moment of silence, he holds back and asks: ¡®Why?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Even if your thoughts are right, Sun Wukong is the biggest troublemaker in the world. If he says he is the No.2 biggest troublemaker, no one dares to claim as the No.1 biggest troublemaker. If you want to call a troublemaker a hero, then you go to be a small troublemaker under him!¡¯


    After that, I swing my arms angrily and leave, leaving Huian alone standing on the shore of flowing-sand river thinking about the truth of his life.


    Huian calls behind me: ¡®So what!? This troublemaker will be under shifu now! Even if he is a troublemaker, he is shifu¡¯s, troublemaker!¡¯


    You¡¯re a traitorous disciple!


    Now I begin to consider kicking him out of my teaching which I have been postponing for a long time.

 A Pig Yokai

    After we pass this river, it is time to go to a mountain. There are so many mountains in the world. Where is that coincidence of meeting the correct mountain? Hence, the second yokai is designated by Buddha as well.


    Anyhow, this yokai is not a random yokai. It is a pig yokai.


    This pig yokai wasn¡¯t a pig yokai at the beginning. He was the Marshal of the Heavenly Canopy commanding 100,000 soldiers. What an impressive power he had! His contribution to heaven is countless. He also met Sun Wukong in heaven at that time.


    Yet, this Marshal of the Heavenly Canopy by his contributions and his handsome looking molested Chang¡¯e, Deity of the Moon when he was drunk.


    Arguably, he was Marshal of the Heavenly Canopy. Even though he molested Chang¡¯e, he didn¡¯t make a huge mistake. He didn¡¯t hurt anyone physically or try to harm anyone. It was just that Chang¡¯e was emotionally uncomfortable. He could have apologized with a gift and received education in a prison in heaven to avoid making the same mistake the next time.


    Who knows that Jade Emperor would choose to hammerblow him two-thousand times and exiled him down to the mortal world? He fell into a sow¡¯s womb and he had no other option but to be a pig yokai.


    *Sigh*. I don¡¯t feel distressed at all even if he is forced to be a pig yokai because he molested a good girl.


    However, as a bodhisattva, I don¡¯t think giving the death penalty to a person who made a small mistake can solve problems. Instead, Jade Emperor¡¯s judgement will suggest people who have made a small mistake to kill the victims in order to hide their acts.


    For example, after the Marshal of the Heavenly Canopy molested Chang¡¯e and got hammerblows two-thousand times, others who got drunk and accidentally touched a girl¡¯s hand will be scared of being exiled into a pig yokai. They will not apologize; they will choose to kill this girl and hide her body. Heaven will have another missing girl.


    To be honest, heaven really has a lot of missing deities and creatures.


    There is no way that a criminal will repent after being imprisoned alone for thousands of years. He will need education. Otherwise, his grievances will accumulate, and a deity will become a demon, which will bring more troubles.


    Chang¡¯e pleaded to me for this. She said: ¡®I just felt uncomfortable at that time, so I reported him. I wanted him to get some punishment for what he did to me. Who knows that Jade Emperor would hammerblow him two-thousand times and exile him? Bodhisattva, if he became a human in the mortal world, I wouldn¡¯t feel sorry because he deserved it, but he was exiled to be looking like that. Although I am not a close friend of him, I didn¡¯t intend to harm him to this situation. Bodhisattva, you are mercy and you help living things out. Please show fairness back to him.¡¯


    *Sigh*. These deities from heaven always look for help and fairness from our Western Paradise, but where can I find fairness in heaven for them?


    Even if there is, I assume that Jade Emperor having a good mood is a fairness and Jade Emperor having a bad mood is also a fairness. Anyway, he is the highest in heaven. Every word of him must be listened to and implemented. No one can backtalk about him.


    Yet, Chang¡¯e came to beg me and I have to accept her request since she looks so beautiful. Although I am a buddha who is supposed to have no sadness or happiness, I don¡¯t like to see a beauty being sad. I said to Buddha that Western Paradise has too much leftover food and why don¡¯t we find someone to clear this?


    We will waste less and preach good values to followers as well.


    In conclusion, since I came across flowing-sand river, I need to go to a mountain.


    Right before we are about to hike, a monster which looks like pig and human rushes out with a fierce wind. I didn¡¯t have time to speak and he is coming at us to fight.


    Then, I am again watching my weird disciple fighting against this pig yokai.


    Ayyy! These yokai in the East! Why do they always fight right at the encounter? Will they die instantly if they talk and communicate first?


    We in Western Paradise always talk and talk until the other side gets annoyed and we will fight.


    I am considering that I shall let Huian talk for a while first because he hasn¡¯t given a long talk for many years. He has lots of opportunities to give a long talk during this trip in the mortal world. If he doesn¡¯t catch this chance, it will be very unfortunate.


    I believe I should hint to him that I want him to talk for a while, but he is into fighting and ignores me.


    Actually, you are just following me this time to fight, right? You¡¯re a traitorous disciple!


    To be honest, this disciple of mine doesn¡¯t listen to me. At the time when heaven was going to bring Sun Wukong under control, I was there too. I was considering that their fighting was not good and Huian was going to be a buddha in the future. A buddha will be talkative. We the talkative buddhas are different from those in the East who fight and kill easily, so in order to show our superiority, I asked Huian to help.


    I also expressly hinted to him to talk and not to fight.


    ¡­¡­Then he went in to help his dad and his brother to fight against Sun Wukong. They even lost.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.


    Great. Now he has fought against all three disciples of the scriptures taker. Now, who is his next target? Is he going to beat that scriptures taker!? Ah!?


    I am very mad. A buddha who doesn¡¯t like to talk is not a good buddha, so I wonder what I should throw downward at him. I throw a lotus downward and it separates them.


    Even though I have thrown my lotus, that yokai didn¡¯t recognize me. I am puzzled: do I have such a low level of recognition in the East? Although our Western Paradise has a lot of buddhas, bodhisattvas, and ascetics, I am the only one who is a man dressed in a woman¡¯s dress.


    The pig yokai looks at the left and looks at the right. He is confused: ¡®Where did this big flower come from?¡¯


    This pig yokai might be an idiot. If my flower landed on him, he might have died.


    Huian: ¡®My shifu threw it.¡¯


    After a while, Huian discovers that this pig yokai still doesn¡¯t know what happened that he kindly adds: ¡®There.¡¯


    Huian stretches out his hand and points at me as if I am a stone which he brought here.


    Then, the pig yokai is still looking at me without saying anything. Huian says his last reminder: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva in Nanhai.¡¯


    Then, he doesn¡¯t talk anymore. He just stands there and waits for the pig yokai to come at him.


    The pig yokai maybe thinking that a buddha should talk and talk when he comes out. An incommunicative buddha is not what he expected. After a long period, he accepts this reality and suddenly realizes and says: ¡®It turns out to be Guanyin bodhisattva who sweeps three disasters and saves eight calamities!¡¯


    This pig yokai has a much better attitude than that honest nice guy. He kneels down with a flop and keeps kowtowing and apologizing that he was not a pig yokai; he was the Marshal of the Heavenly Canopy; he has heard a long time ago that Guanyin goddess looks pretty, and he has always been looking forward to seeing Guanyin¡¯s face¡­¡­


    Huian stands aside with his darkened face. He doesn¡¯t talk.


    When he came to my side, he was just a little boy. Since he was forced by his dad to my Nanhai, he didn¡¯t know much. After he became close to me, he always called me Guanyin goddess happily. Maybe he thought I was a pretty girl who wears a white dress daily and was different from other buddhas and bodhisattvas.


    I think that this boy grew up in heaven with heaven¡¯s values which are different from values in Western Paradise, so I plan to talk about my gender to him when he grows up in case he is too shocked and has all his values broken which will be not good for all.


    Then, when he was still little, it took me a long time to correct him.


    ¡®Guanyin goddess!¡¯


    ¡®¡­¡­Call me shifu.¡¯


    ¡®Guanyin goddess~¡¯


    ¡®¡­¡­Call me shifu!!¡¯


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, could you take me to watch lotus?¡¯


    ¡®¡­¡­Only if you call me shifu.¡¯


    ¡®Shifu goddess, please take me to watch lotus!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡®Call me shifu only. Do not add goddess!¡¯


    In conclusion, no matter how careful I am, disciple is like a weed. No matter how carefully you trim him, water him, give him sunlight, a wind from nowhere will blow him and he will grow awry. Even though I had been careful and planned to make things clear to him one day, he accidentally knew the truth.


    Then, that little boy who was tripping about happily suddenly became my current weird disciple.


    See, even if I am the all-knowing Guanyin bodhisattva, I wasn¡¯t born to be a shifu. I don¡¯t know how to do all things well that my disciple doesn¡¯t act like others¡¯ disciples.


    As a result, I am distressed when I am taking disciples for the scriptures taker. Why can¡¯t I get a disciple again?


    Then I think it over: although Huian is weird now, he still looks better than yokais. Probably, nothing is perfect in the world. A pinkish little kid has grown to a handsome teenager and he is weird enough to act not like a deity or a buddha.


    I say to that pig yokai: ¡®You already had guilt and now you are eating humans here. More guilt. Why don¡¯t you repent?¡¯


    Actually, what I just said is very hypocritical, but what else could I say? Could I say Chang¡¯e asked me to help? This dude might even think Chang¡¯e likes him and will molest her again.


    Who knows, pig yokai laughs ¡°HAHA¡± loudly. I thought he was ugly enough, but his laugh makes him even uglier. He claims aloud: ¡®The sky convicted my guilt! Where can I go to pray for myself? I don¡¯t care about whatever is my second guilt, third guilt, more guilt over more guilt or hundreds of thousands of guilt! I cannot live! I cannot reincarnate! Even in hell¡¯s court room or the eighteen floors of suffering, no one can pardon my guilts!¡¯


    He pats his full belly of human corpses and says: ¡®I commanded 100,000 soldiers and killed many evils. How many years I had been guarding the Heavenly River, the mortal world, and the harmony of all? With just one mistake, I have to be punished to be lower than a pig or a dog! Of course I know I shouldn¡¯t have molested Chang¡¯e! But, don¡¯t you see my current situation? Do I even care what happened in the past?¡¯


    He is talking and shaking his ears: ¡®My good bodhisattva. You have a mercy heart, but you have to know that not everyone has a mercy heart like yours in the world!¡¯


    I say: ¡®What? Are you being yokai for too long and you don¡¯t want to be good again now?¡¯


    That yokai looks dejected and says: ¡®How can I not have such a desire? I want to guard that Heavenly River again and protect the mortal world and have all live long without a sudden death; I have my selfishness also: I want to be the leader of these soldiers; I want to look at those beautiful goddesses in heaven; although I cannot touch them, I can look at them. But the sky has convicted me guilty! If humans convict a human guilty, he can beg heaven to give fairness back. How about me? Now heaven wants me to have a life worse than a death and I am not going to let them do whatever they want!¡¯


    I say: ¡®If you can be good again, and follow that scriptures taker to India, I can expiate your crimes by your good deeds.¡¯


    That pig yokai is obviously a smart dude. He kept saying how he didn¡¯t want to be good again and now once he heard that he could be taken out of the sufferings, he changes his expression immediately. He kneels down with a flop and says: ¡®I want to! I want to! Let alone guarding the scriptures taker to India! I am willing to go to India for the scriptures taker also!¡¯


    I was going to follow the procedure of giving him a family name according to his species, but he is a pig. Am I going to give him a Pig family name?¡¯


    Right after I become hesitant, Huian understand what I am thinking. He says to me: ¡®Shifu, you always say that everything is equal. If you don¡¯t give a Pig family name to him, you are being speciesism.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡±


    I: ¡®Okay, now your last name is Pig. You are Zhu Wuneng now.¡¯


    I glance at Huian and finds out that he is smiling. My weird disciple¡¯s smile is weird as well. It is the kind of smile that you will think he is smiling when you look at him from a distance, but when you get closer to him, he seems to be not smiling. His smile is weirder than a yokai¡¯s smile.


    I shall not take this weird disciple to the mortal world again. He learns bad things easily.


    I watch that pig yokai swearing that he will be a vegetarian and avoid any meat in the future. I doubt if he will go to eat humans and meat again right after I leave.


    Huian says to him: ¡®You know, Guanyin bodhisattva knows the past and the future of everything from all directions, right?¡¯


    Zhu Wuneng takes pause and is shocked.


    Telling others that I have such an ability is like pasting a sticker of ¡°Camera installed here¡± in others¡¯ restroom which will easily cause sequela after the shock.


    Huian looks at Zhu Wuneng, and he meaningfully points at his eyes and Zhu Wuneng. Then he says stuffily: ¡®We will be looking at you, always.¡¯


    After that, we carefreely and leisurely ride our cloud away in the pig yokai¡¯s horrified eyes.

 The Chunibyou Little White Dragon

    I have chosen two disciples for the scriptures taker. As we continue our trip in the mortal world, we are going to pick him a mount.


    There is more behind this mount.


    The first two yokais are convicted by Jade Emperor with severe punishments, but their guilt isn¡¯t enough to sentence them to death. This later one, is not a yokai, but it is a dragon.


    It is a dying dragon.


    This child is the third son in the family of Dragon King of the West Sea. To be honest, if anything happened to this family, it must be caused by this third prince. This third prince is a dragon character. He doesn¡¯t want to behave like a prince and he burned the shinny pearl in his dad¡¯s palace when he was bored.


    From my perspective, he is just a teenager in his rebellious phase.


    However, his dad is even more of a dragon character. His son doesn¡¯t obey his words and sets a fire. He, as the father didn¡¯t educate his son; he didn¡¯t beat him or abuse him. He went straight to Jade Emperor and accused his son of being disobedient.


    To be honest, he has not understood why his son is disobedient?


    Who has taught him to be disobedient?


    Then, Jade Emperor swings his brush pen and beats this child in the air three-hundred times and gives him a death penalty.


    This Dragon King of the West Sea is carefree for sure. On that day when Sun Wukong was making troubles in Dragon King of the East Sea, countless treasures were taken away by Sun Wukong from these Dragon Kings of Four Seas. I didn¡¯t find them feeling uncomfortable enough to want to kill Sun Wukong. Well, one of the princes burned one treasure and now the Dragon King of the West Sea wants to kill his son?


    Humans aren¡¯t plants and they have love. Did this Dragon King of the West Sea just kill his son?


    No, this old Dragon King is too smart.


    If he went to Buddha and said before this thing happened: my third son is good for nothing; if I wait till he is grown-up, the highest position I can give him is just a Dragon King in a river; he will guard a river and be unaccomplished all his life; I beg you Buddha. Please enlighten him and give him a position in Buddhism.


    This will not do at all. Our Western Paradise doesn¡¯t want this kind of being. We cannot let someone who is worthless in Jade Emperor¡¯s eyes to be a buddha here. What is our Western Paradise? A trash can?


    But now his son is accused by him in the Heaven Court and is promised a death penalty which will be carried out soon. He comes and talks to Buddha with his snots and tears that he begs Buddha to take his little dragon to be a horse and let the scriptures taker to ride on his son in order to correct his mind. This will be Buddhism moralizing a guilty dragon. Can Buddha say no to this?


    No matter how disobedient his son is, it is a dragon! How much face the scriptures taker will have if he rides on a dragon to India!?


    What¡¯s more, if Buddha rejects him, it will be Buddha watching this little dragon dying and doing nothing to help. Buddha will not accomplish a good deed and will be hated by the Dragon King of the West Sea.


    I have said it before: our buddhas in Western Paradise are pure and na?ve; we just want to cultivate and teach people to be good. The East doesn¡¯t have a single good deity. Their body is full of thoughts and they scheme our Western Paradise all day long.


    I tell Huian that this little white dragon has a powerful background and connections. It should be communicable. We just need to go through the procedure and we can go to the Five Element Mountain next.


    Huian makes that weird smile. He seems to be smiling and not smiling. He looks at me, and says to me: ¡®This little white dragon Aolie. I have met him before.¡¯


    Even better, they know each other. When we are going through the procedure, we can have less embarrassment.


    We ride on the cloud for a while, looking for that little white dragon which is being hung in the air by Jade Emperor. We look into these clouds and fogs. This dragon is beautiful for real. It has white scales shining like snowflakes. If it doesn¡¯t have the bloodiness on its body, it will look even prettier than a dragon on a scroll.


    I even have to pretend I didn¡¯t know him and fake to ask him: ¡®Where is your home, little dragon? Why are you wounded here?¡¯


    Aolie glances at me and speaks feebly: ¡®I am the son of that Dragon King of the West Sea Aorun. I was beaten three-hundred times in the air by Jade Emperor and I will soon be put to death because I burned the shiny pearl in my father¡¯s palace and he accused me in the Heavenly Court with the guilt of disobedience.¡¯The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Then, I kindly say: ¡®I have looked at your bones. Do you want to join our Buddhism and be enlightened? You can wait here, and I will plead Jade Emperor to pardon you.¡¯


    I thought we could leave now, but things have gotten out of our expectation. Not even before we turn around, the little white dragon¡¯s eyes light up suddenly and shouts: ¡®I DO NOT!¡¯


    ¡­¡­What?


    Didn¡¯t your dad come beg us?


    I thought your burning that shiny pearl as a part of the plan!


    The little white dragon says in a huff: ¡®Thanks for bodhisattva¡¯s kindness, but since I have burned the shiny pearl, I have expected to have a dead end. So what? There is not even one single good person in Heaven! I do not need them to pardon me! I am not wrong!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    He says again: ¡®That Jade Emperor beat me three-hundred times. He thought I will apologize to my father after these beatings. I am NOT APOLOGIZING! I even said that Sun Wukong is the big hero of the world who has beaten all these useless deities! Those in the Lingxiao Palace are all hypocrites. Every registered deity in Heaven is bad! Am I going to be associated with them? I would rather die and reincarnate to be a cow, a horse, or grass instead of being a deity!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This child is incredibly chunibyou.


    Being young is so good.


    For a being like me who has lived for many years, I have become lazy to talk when I see something. Now I see someone being mad and shouting. I really miss this kind of vitality.


    The little white dragon is covered in bloodiness. His eyes are shiny with hero spirit. He stares at me and says: ¡®Bodhisattva wants to save me today. I have remembered your kindness, but I will not have a chance to pay you back in this life. I shall be a cow or a horse in my next life and pay you back in Nanhai!¡¯


    ¡­¡­Please don¡¯t. You probably will not remember me in your next life.


    Now I understand what Huian was smiling for. He has met this little white dragon and he knows this child is a chunibyou who is extremely difficult to educate.


    If a person is evil, he can be educated; if a person is a chunibyou, he will probably be a chunibyou to his grave.


    His being a chunibyou has nothing with me, but if he dies here today, it will have something to do with me.


    What can I do? Do I persuade him? Does a chunibyou listen to my words?


    Huian says to me: ¡®Shifu, why don¡¯t we find another guy? I think Aolie brother is too wild that he doesn¡¯t want to lower his head to that Heaven.¡¯


    It was still good before he talks. After he said these, Aolie raises his head more and it seems that even death will not make him yield.


    I hate myself for not being able to beat Huian to death right here.


    I say to Huian: ¡®If he doesn¡¯t go, you shall transform into a horse and be ridden by that scriptures taker to India!¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®This can¡¯t do. I have become a disciple of Guanyin bodhisattva in Nanhai. If I call that scriptures taker shifu, things will be muddled. If shifu you need a horse, I can be your mount for thousands of years. I will not be a mount for that scriptures taker.¡¯


    He seldom talks so many words, and this time he talks to annoy me. I doubt that he really wants me to kick him out from Nanhai.


    On this side, we are chatting. That little white dragon listens and asks with curiosity: ¡®I know I shouldn¡¯t ask bodhisattva¡¯s personal things, but I have never heard about the scriptures taker. I am going to die soon. This is my last wish. Bodhisattva, please tell me about it.¡¯


    I say: ¡®I was kind that I wanted you to be a white horse to send that scriptures taker to India to receive scriptures since you are going to be killed by Jade Emperor now. That Sun Wukong is also being imprisoned under the Five Element Mountain and Buddha also pardoned him and asked him to guard that scriptures taker to receive scriptures. He will be enlightened.¡¯


    The little white dragon suddenly shines his eyes: ¡®Great Sage also goes to receive scriptures!?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Indeed. I heard that you said he was the big hero of the world. I was thinking that if you both go, you can meet each other¡­¡­¡¯


    Before I finish my words, the little white dragon immediately cries out: ¡®I go! I go! Please save me, bodhisattva! I am willing to be a horse for that scriptures taker and send him to India to receive scriptures! Ask me to do anything!¡¯


    *Sigh*. Now this troublesome monkey is more famous than me among the kids.


    I ask him half doubted and half believed: ¡®Do you admit your mistake now?¡¯


    I doubt the little dragon didn¡¯t hear what I said at all. He says with his shiny eyes: ¡®I know I know! I will repent and mend my ways!¡¯


    I: ¡®Will you apologize to your father and to Jade Emperor?¡¯


    The little white dragon says happily: ¡®I will! I will apologize in any pose that bodhisattva asks me to! You are the kind Guanyin bodhisattva. You look so pretty. All your words are right.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Huian stands aside and stares at him. He seems to be looking at his past with a deep feeling.


    I say to Huian: ¡®I didn¡¯t lie to you at that time, really.¡¯


    My weird disciple who has talked for a while since the trip has become back to that incommunicative disciple again. He is not going to speak with me.


    Ayyy, being a shifu is not easy.


    I go to plead for the little white dragon and take him to a deep stream to rest. I enjoin him to be a good dragon and cause no more troubles. If he does, he will lose his Great Sage¡¯s face. I am finally relieved until he promises me.


    I have chosen two disciples and one mount. Now we only have one last left.


    The most difficult one.


    I take Huian and fly to Five Element Mountain. That Five Element Mountain has a sticker pasted by Buddha. I can see it is radiating golden lights as if it is broadcasting that: Did you see this? This yokai which Jade Emperor failed to defeat with all deities in Heaven was smashed here with one slap by me.¡¯


    I say to Huian with sincere words and earnest wishes: ¡®You are a good kid. Don¡¯t learn how impulsive the little white dragon is. See that Sun Wukong acting like a hero and making havoc in Heaven. Although all these soldiers in Heaven were not able to defeat him and yes he acted like a lord once in Heaven, what did he get? There is always a taller building after a building. There is always a higher mountain after a mountain. He is subdued at the end, so don¡¯t always fight against those yokais. Fighting is useless.¡¯


    My weird disciple doesn¡¯t talk. Another¡¯s disciple shouts.


    That Sun Wukong imprisoned under Five Element Mountain shouts sulked: ¡®Who is so mean up on the mountain raking up my past?!¡¯


    Pshhh, did this audacious troublesome monkey just accuse the Mercy Goddess Guanyin bodhisattva with ¡°mean¡±?

 A Troublesome Monkey

    I have said it before that I don¡¯t want to talk about anything related to this troublesome monkey.


    I don¡¯t care if he is good or bad, or if he is a No.1 hero of the world or a real troublemaker.


    What I know is that since he is thrown to be my responsibility, my future thousands of years, or tens of thousands of years will not be peaceful.


    After Buddha made this decision, I wanted to change my job and find another position elsewhere, but I thought about it that deities in the East are all bad and God of Christianity is busy burning heretics and gays. *Sigh*. Although Sun Wukong is troublesome, Buddha is a good guy who is better than any other boss.


    I didn¡¯t want to talk with Sun Wukong either. Last time I met him, he was nailed through his shoulder blade and was being knifed and chopped.


    But I cannot keep silent as this troublesome monkey is shouting beneath the mountain: ¡®You dare to rake up my past! Don¡¯t you dare to come to the mountain bottom!? I am going to see which bastard has courage to mock me at top of my head!¡¯


    Then if he wants me to go down and I go down, I will lose my face.


    I stand on the mountain top and say to him: ¡®You with last name Sun. Do you recognize me?¡¯


    That Sun Wukong is pressed down beneath Five Element Mountain and his body cannot move. He twists his neck and rolls his eyes to see me. He sees me and suddenly smiles: ¡®I recognize you. How can I not recognize the Mercy Goddess Guanyin bodhisattva in Putuo Mount in Nanhai? You are so kind that I have been imprisoned here for hundreds of years and no one remembers to see me. You are the first one! Now I know the kindness of bodhisattva.¡¯


    He has said that I am kind that I cannot let him keep rolling his eyes to see me. I take Huian to the mountain bottom and stand in front of the monkey head.


    I really dislike talking with this troublesome monkey that I am too lazy to act polite. I speak straight: ¡®Do you want to get out from this mountain?¡¯


    The answer is in no doubt. This monkey likes to move around and he has been pressed here for five-hundred years. He cannot move or sleep well, and he has nothing to eat. His one day here is like a year. How can he endure this more? Without saying more, he will beg me to get out.


    What happened next is out of my control. That monkey raises his eyes, staring at me. His Eye of Truth flashes a sharp ray of light and he laughs aloud: ¡®NO, NO, NO!¡¯


    Among all his limbs, only his head can move. He is shaking his head, shaking off some dusts and rotten leaves. He says: ¡®I was born from a crack on a rock. I have no parents or relatives. Tathagata imprisoned me beneath this Five Element Mountain with no reasons and now he wants me to lower my head to him?¡¯ His facial expression turns cold, and he poohs at the ground hard: ¡®He daydreams!¡¯


    This monkey loses his temper again. Five Element Mountain shakes but it stills presses him tight. He raises his head and sneers as if he doesn¡¯t have a mountain on top of his body: ¡®I am immortal. I have no attachment. What can Tathagata do to me?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Oh? You monkey has a big ambition. You can go after Tathagata even though you are imprisoned here£¿¡®


    The voice of Sun Wukong is getting higher. Every word from his mouth is like a copper ball thrown on the ground. He speaks powerfully: ¡®What can being imprisoned do to me? How do you know if this mountain can press me forever? That buddha cultivates for tens of thousands of years and I shall wait for him for tens of thousands of years here. As long as I live long, I will be more powerful. It will be a matter of whose longevity is longer!¡¯


    After he played these words, he grins and says: ¡®I don¡¯t want to go after him. I have some questions for him to answer five-hundred years ago which he didn¡¯t answer me clearly. If he answers my questions, I will obey his words and call him Buddha as well.¡¯


    That will really be¡­¡­


    Great!


    This monkey mob is difficult to correct. I am afraid if one day he is enlightened, he will still be  trouble. I didn¡¯t expect him to be so insensible to give up his promising future.


    Awesome! Now I can take Huian back and later when I come back to Western Paradise, I shall tell Tathagata that this monkey is disobedient and doesn¡¯t want to apologize. Then, if Tathagata wants him to listen to words, he will have to come here by himself. Tathagata this otaku who doesn¡¯t want to leave Western Paradise is never going to this Five Element Mountain to enlighten this monkey.


    He will not~


    I am happy for the moment, and I am going to leave here. This monkey suddenly says: ¡®I have heard that Guanyin bodhisattva is all-knowing. Can I ask you a few questions? If you manage to persuade me, I will listen to your words. I will do whatever you ask me to do. I will not regret.¡¯


    I was going to turn around and leave, but I have to stay because of his words. I ask: ¡®What do you want to ask?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®This question I have asked Tathagata on that day when I made havoc in Heaven. Now I am seeking an answer from bodhisattva. That Jade Emperor doesn¡¯t distinct right and wrong. He is so narrow-minded. How can he be the leader of Heaven? Do you see if he has saved any life or enlightened any being? Since such a brutal guy can be Jade Emperor, how can I not be Jade Emperor too? Tathagata said, Jade Emperor has lived longer than me and he has been cultivating since he was little, and has endured through one-thousand-seven-hundred-fifty inexorable dooms so he can be Jade Emperor. Now I endure my inexorable dooms as well and I am still that troublesome monkey who makes you Guanyin bodhisattva headache. So why can that Jade Emperor be Jade Emperor just because he lives longer and endures more? This is one of my questions.¡¯


    ¡®My second question is this. I have seventy-two transformations; I am immortal; I know how to ride Jing Dou Cloud and one leap of mine can travel 13468 miles; I also have Eye of Truth and my three-thousand duplications. If Jade Emperor solos me, he may not defeat me. Tell me, why I am the one being imprisoned beneath this Five Element Mountain when Jade Emperor is just being unreasonable here and there?¡¯


    I ask: ¡®Then according to you, the winner is the king and the loser shall obey?¡¯


    The monkey laughs and says: ¡®Yes, yes. That Jade Emperor cannot compete against me so he played dirty to harm me. What kind of moral guy is he?¡¯Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    I say: ¡®It doesn¡¯t matter if he is a moral guy or not. He still sits on that high chair and you are imprisoned beneath this Five Element Mountain.¡¯


    The monkey looks up at me and grins: ¡®Good bodhisattva, don¡¯t beguile me with these words. I know you are a good bodhisattva, but you don¡¯t want to offend that Jade Emperor. You don¡¯t want to say his wrongs. You avoid it and avoid answering my question. Now I know bodhisattvas are also afraid of Jade Emperors. It seems that Western Paradise is just like Heaven which has no good persons.¡¯


    Of course, I will not answer his questions. He is so squishy and he knows I can refute his words. But if I refute his words, I will have to talk about the right and wrong of Jade Emperor. That old guy will not let me backtalk about him. I cannot imagine how troublesome it will be if he goes to Buddha if I do so.


    At first, Tathagata is already bothered by the diplomatic problem in Western Paradise. I cannot make things worse for him.


    I ask him: ¡®Then according to you, if one is not good in your eyes, one is not qualified to be a deity?¡¯


    The monkey laughs and says: ¡®Yeah yeah. None is qualified. All are dumbasses.¡¯


    I sneer: ¡®Then according to you, these deities are all bad but they still take care of their duty. Again, you are a good monkey but you a good monkey has not done a good thing.¡¯


    ¡®Tell me. You have killed. You have stolen. You have rebelled. Even your shifu Master Puti doesn¡¯t allow you to say he is your shifu. What part of you is good?¡¯


    He is struck by my words and wants to refute, but he is hurt when I talked about Master Puti. For a while, he doesn¡¯t know what to say.


    I speak again: ¡®However, if all humans, deities, and buddhas are good, this world will be not good. Yin and Yang should exist together. So do right and wrong. When there is light, there is shadow. No one is perfect. How can one have not made any fault? Even when one has become a holy being, one will make mistakes.¡¯


    ¡®Look at me. I am the Mercy Goddess Guanyin bodhisattva in Nanhai. I live longer than anyone. My mistakes are more than anyone¡¯s, but this doesn¡¯t make me unqualified to be Guanyin bodhisattva. Our buddhas have human parts, and we make mistakes as well. If buddhas are just buddhas and not humans, we will not be here talking about passion and mercy for humans. We will be out there in the space and talk about passion and mercy for planets. Buddhas are humans first. If a buddha says he was not a human, he is not a good buddha. Do not trust him.¡¯


    That monkey is in a daze: ¡®You as Guanyin bodhisattva in Nanhai. You are all-knowing. How could you make mistakes?¡¯


    I say: ¡®You look at my disciple. He is weird like this. Can you say I have taught him to be a good disciple?¡¯


    Huian: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong looks at my weird disciple closely and says drily: ¡®Not good.¡¯


    Huian: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Okay. Even Guanyin bodhisattva is willing to admit a fault, I shall admit my fault as well. I was being rude on that day and I shouldn¡¯t have make havoc in Heaven. I shouldn¡¯t have stolen those peaches, but I must admit that even though I was wrong, that day of making havoc in Heaven was joyful! If I can, I will make havoc in Heaven some more times!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This is not an apology.


    ¡­¡­


    This is not an apology at all!


    The monkey says: ¡®Having said that, don¡¯t these deities control humans¡¯ life and death and their incarnations!? They design humans¡¯ life and death as well! You buddhas only talk, but these deities are all bad. Bodhisattva, if you explain to me clearly why my life and death must be managed by Heaven, on the day when I get out from this mountain, I will go to your Nanhai and kowtow to you for thousands of times!¡¯


    *Sigh*. I knew this monkey was going to ask this question.


    Yet, this question is a disaster itself.


    I say to him: ¡®Deities weren¡¯t deities. They will be what humans think they are. Humans gave deities the power to regulate themselves. If one day no one believes in deities, then Lingxiao Palace will collapse and disappear totally.¡¯


    ¡®Ah~ Monkey. If there is no a good deity, it means that there is no a good person in humans. Deities are reflections of humans.¡¯


    The monkey is amazed and stares at me blankly. He asks me cautiously: ¡®Really?¡¯


    ¡®Really.¡¯


    The monkey says: ¡®If one day people no longer remember you mercy Guanyin bodhisattva, do you not help humans anymore?¡¯


    I tell him: ¡®Even for me Guanyin bodhisattva, I am not immortal. If one day no one remembers me, I will disappear and become a pile of ashes. However, I becoming a pile of ashes is not a problem. All buddhas in Western Paradise becoming a pile of ashes is not a problem, because our passionate heart comes from humans. Even if there is no more buddhas, as long as humans have a passionate heart, they can save themselves too. So I have told you: a buddha should be a human first in order to be qualified as a buddha.¡¯


    This Sun monkey doesn¡¯t create a disturbance this time. He tilts his head and thinks. He suddenly speaks: ¡®Okay! Your Western Paradise has some good buddhas. Tathagata doesn¡¯t want to talk about these questions to me. Now I know why he doesn¡¯t want to. Guanyin bodhisattva is better because you have made things clear to me.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­Please close your mouth. Our Western Paradise doesn¡¯t have a good buddha either.¡¯


    That monkey looks at me and gives me a malicious smile: ¡®Guanyin goddess, monkey has one last question. If you can solve this for me, I will apologize to that Tathagata immediately.¡¯


    I don¡¯t know why but I have a feeling that I am jumping into an exploding volcano.


    Sun Wukong looks at me and looks at Huian. He grins: ¡®Goddess, you have such a beautiful look. Why don¡¯t you avoid arousing suspicion? You have such a handsome disciple close to you, serving you all day long by your side. Aren¡¯t you afraid of being gossiped?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Huian darkens his face. He looks at Sun Wukong as if he is looking at a corpse.


    I see that Huian is holding his iron rod. I know he is finding an excuse to beat this monkey.


    ¡­¡­He can fight anywhere but not at Five Element Mountain. He can fight anyone but not against this monkey.


    In order to prevent my weird disciple rushing to beat the head of the monkey, I have to answer his question.


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Our Western Paradise doesn¡¯t have idling deities from the East. Also, you might not know that, Wukong. I, your Guanyin goddess, am a guy.¡¯


    Sun Wukong suddenly opens his eyes wide and looks up at me as if he was just struck by a thunder. He looks at my face and then looks at my dress. He cries out: ¡®Bodhisattva! Don¡¯t fool me!¡¯


    *Sigh*, I have said it before. Our Western Paradise has different values from Heaven.


    Why there are always people coming to break their values here?


    Sun Wukong loses his energy immediately like a vegetable in the snow. He curls up beneath this mountain and rests his head on the ground. He stops moving.


    Huian suddenly raises his rod and thuds at the top of that monkey¡¯s head.


    That Sun Wukong is aggressive normally, but today he is not mad. He doesn¡¯t move when Huian hits him. This monkey is like a dead monkey.


    I say: ¡®Why are you taking advantage of another¡¯s perilous state when he is pressed beneath the mountain?¡¯


    Huian says stuffily: ¡®His head has nothing inside. Why can¡¯t I hit it?¡¯


    My weird disciple is very stubborn. He doesn¡¯t listen to me speaking. If I talk too much, he will not even give me a response. However, Sun Wukong is here and I cannot beat my disciple in the public, so I can only say to him: ¡®We shall leave for Tang Dynasty after we told him about the scriptures taker. If you beat him to death, you shall follow that scriptures taker to get the scriptures!¡¯


    Huian sneers: ¡®He will not be beaten to death. He will not. His head is very tolerant to hitting. Don¡¯t worry, shifu.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Huian is using his rod beating the left and the right of the monkey¡¯s head. He mocks: ¡®After a few hits, I think this troublemaker¡¯s brain has something inside. Let me hit it more to see if it is a good thing inside or a bad thing inside.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Sun Wukong says with a sorry-looking: ¡®Little ascetic, please don¡¯t keep hitting. Old Sun¡¯s brain has nothing good inside. From now on, Old Sun will listen to bodhisattva¡¯s teachings and will not cause trouble anymore.¡¯


    I: ¡®Are you going to guard the scriptures taker to India?¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®Yes. I will never regret.¡¯


    I ask again: ¡®If he accuses you, hit you, and drive you away, do you still view him as your shifu?¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®Yes. Only if shifu doesn¡¯t want me anymore, otherwise I will never dare to leave him.¡¯


    If you were obedient like this at the beginning, how much time we could have saved.


    I finish explaining to Sun Wukong and my weird disciple is still thudding that monkey¡¯s head. The Earth Deity and the Mountain Deity of this area are standing aside, looking at me with sympathy. Their eyes are obviously saying:


    Guanyin bodhisattva, is your disciple mentally retarded?

 The Stupid Prime Minister of Tang

    At the end, that Sun monkey says to me: ¡®You are different from the Guanyin bodhisattva in the mortals¡¯ eyes.¡¯


    I look at his annoying look and give away mine: ¡®You are not different at all from the Sun Wukong in the mortals¡¯ eyes.¡¯


    After that, I take Huian with me and we leave.


    Before we leave, he is still thudding with his iron rod stubbornly at Sun Wukong¡¯s head as if he really wants to thud a hole in it.


    My disciple is the kind of person who bears his grudge.


    I even admire myself after I told Sun Wukong those words. Moreover, Sun Wukong seems to believe me.


    In fact, I know clearer than anyone about that Heaven. They are all trash.


    Phew!


    Our last stop in this trip is Chang¡¯an.


    I have two things to talk about this Chang¡¯an.


    Both things are related to a Dragon King.


    The first Dragon King is a hapless Dragon King.


    He lives in Jing river and controls the precipitation of this area. One day he heard that a fisherman was talking to a lumberer and he knew there was a guy named Yuan Shoucheng who was talented in fortune telling. He told that fisherman the location of all the aqua species in Jing river and taught him how to fish.


    However, the aqua species in Jing river would be all fished out if nothing else happened.


    To help his fellows, this Dragon King transformed to a pedant in white and went to Yuan Shoucheng for a weather telling. Yuan told him the time of the rain and the amount of the rain. They agreed that if any of Yuan¡¯s telling went wrong, Yuan would have to leave Chang¡¯an.


    He thought that a fortune telling was not able to tell the rain. Who knows that Jade Emperor ordered him to cast the rain exactly as Yuan had told him. At the moment, he said to himself that he was just a Dragon King of one river; there were many many more rivers in the world; there were countless rains as well; that Jade Emperor controlled everything and how would he know if I changed this rain?


    Then he changed the time of the rain and changed the amount of the rain. The next day, he went to find troubles of Yuan.


    Who knows that Yuan not only knew that he was the Dragon King of Jing river and that he was going to be put to death by Jade Emperor? Yuan¡¯s words shocked the Dragon King and he begged Yuan for a way to live.


    Yuan said that the executer would be Wei Zheng. If he wanted Wei to stop, he had to beg Taizong, the emperor of Tang.


    The Dragon King hurried to beg Tang Taizong to spare his life. The emperor accepted his request naturally, but Wei fell asleep during a chess game against Taizong emperor and he killed the Dragon King in his dream.


    The Dragon King died a tragic death and his soul went after Tang Taizong. Tang Taizong was disturbed and couldn¡¯t rest in daytime or nighttime.


    Buddha says to me: ¡®This soul of the Dragon King is bothering that Taizong. You are in Chang¡¯an. Go dispel the ghost for him.¡¯


    Although I am called for helping humans out, but this thing is Heaven¡¯s business. It was Heaven that killed the Dragon King. Why should I go solve this?


    Buddha says: ¡®Ayyy. Passion! Passion! This is a diplomatic problem.¡¯


    Everytime he mentions diplomatic problem, I know it shall not be a good news.


    Heaven and Western Paradise are two parties after all. If we are going to dispel the ghost for Tang Taizong, then Jade Emperor must have promised Buddha something else, but every time when Buddha has something coming, he will always hide it cryptically and never leaks any information.


    The problem comes: this Dragon King was killed by Heaven. Heaven can kill a living Dragon King. Of course, they can kill a dead one again.


    Also, that Dragon King just rained less and Jade Emperor knew it right away. That Yuan Shoucheng divulged the future and let that fisherman fish all the aqua species out, and he also disclosed the judgement of Jade Emperor. Why does he not have any punishment?


    As a result, I have to say that there are a lot of things behind this.


    The second thing is about a fortunate Dragon King.


    There was a man in Haizhou named Chen Guangrui. He was the number one scholar in an imperial examination. He rode on his horse and had seen all the flowers in Chang¡¯an. Coincidentally, the girl of the prime minister was recruiting a husband in a colorful hotel. Her silk ball hit Chen and they got married. This Chen Guangrui was a poor scholar but he had fame and money, wife and background right away. The royal court sent him to Jiangzhou¡¯s government.


    On his way to Jiangzhou, this Chen Guangrui bought a golden koi fish. He felt sympathy for it and let it free in the water. Who knows that he was kind but the people on his way were not kind. Two boatmen of Hong river were interested in his wife Mrs. Ying so they killed him and robbed his identity and his wife. They went to Jiangzhou¡¯s government.


    Chen Guangrui¡¯s corpse was thrown into the river. Coincidentally, the Dragon King of the river was that golden koi fish caught that day. He saw that this person had saved him so he used a treasure to keep Chen¡¯s corpse and soul. He let Chen work in his crystal palace.


    Mrs. Ying had been robbed away by these criminals for eighteen years. She placed her son Xuan Zang with Chen on a wooden board and let him flow away. Eighteen years later, Xuan Zang grew up and knew his past life experience. Then he went back to Chang¡¯an to seek help from his grandpa. They saved his mother and his grandmother and killed the two criminals.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Then, this Dragon King saw that Chen Guangrui was finally avenged so he let Chen go back. He let Chen flow back to his home. Coming back alive sounds like a good end.


    It seems to be a good story.


    The problem comes: since this Dragon King can revive Chen, why didn¡¯t he revive Chen at the beginning so Chen could go to seek help from the prime minister in order to kill the criminals, to bring his wife and son back, to pick up his old mother who was dropped on the street? This should be what a normal husband, father, and son would do.


    ¡­¡­


    Eighteen years have passed. His wife has been forcibly occupied by them. His son flew away on the wooden board and went missing. His old mother has been waiting painfully for eighteen years being a beggar on the street. Her eyes went blind as well. This Chen is really carefree. He just went to work for the Dragon King under the water!


    You are like a smaller deity after the Dragon King. Your wife, son, and mother are helpless and they are dying while you never ask to help them.


    That Dragon King is also unreal. Is a Dragon King weak enough to be caught by a human fisherman as food? What are you being a Dragon King for? For being food?


    Don¡¯t you have a lot of abilities and treasures?


    Anyway, after this thing is over, I ask Tathagata if he has done anything while I am away.


    Tathagata looks serious and says to me: ¡®I asked you to go to Chang¡¯an and find that scriptures taker. Why do you talk about this history with me?¡¯


    I am like: isn¡¯t the scriptures taker that little monk Xuan Zang!? This thing is obviously strange!


    Tathagata says: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, do not go deep. This is a diplomatic problem, a diplomatic problem¡­¡­¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I knew nothing good would happen when it is a diplomatic problem.


    I have said that why he asked me to dispel ghost for Tang Taizong for no reason. Obviously, he has planned with Jade Emperor to make a miserable fate for this little monk. All three previous generations of this little monk were tragedies.


    Finally, that useless father of the little monk Xuan Zang goes back to work for Tang again. His mother couldn¡¯t get out from the depression and she committed suicide one time after another. First time and second time. There is not a fourth time. She died in her third try. I couldn¡¯t even save her. Till now, the life experience of this kid has finally become the life experience of a main character.


    After the end of these hapless things, Tathagata finally proves to me with his action why this little monk is his designated scriptures taker when others are not.


    It is probably because others¡¯ previous generations did not have a bloody tragedy.


    A qualified main character will have both parents dead or one of them dead. Anyway, a main character who has both parents alive seems to be not capable to succeed.


    I have to say that being parents is not easy. Being parents of a main character is more difficult.


    This time I come to Chang¡¯an with Huian with our plan to give that scriptures taker a red silk kasaya and a nine-ring monk staff. Buddha says, anyone who wears his kasaya will not fall into the reincarnation; anyone who holds his monk staff will not be harmed with evil intentions.


    As a result, I should give this kasaya and monk staff to the emperor of Tang by myself and then the emperor award Xuan Zang with these. This is the only way to make everything legitimate.


    I think that I have saved this emperor who was horrified by the Dragon King. I should be able to just give these to him. He might even kneel down to me, but Tathagata doesn¡¯t like my idea. He says I need to give these away in a dramatic way.


    If I don¡¯t listen to him, he will turn on his bla-bla mode and bla bla me to death remotely.


    As a result, both I and Huian transform to be two scabies head monks. We are going to sell kasaya in Chang¡¯an city.


    Humans in this period seem to have a misunderstanding about the enlightened ones. Anyone who dresses well and looks nice are frivolous and limited in their eyes. If this person also has a kasaya in his hands, he shall be zhuangbi. If one is disabled, or has a scabies head, in a dirty robe with a shiny kasaya on his hands, he must be a real enlightened one. Hence, people who look for a shifu don¡¯t go after those who look clean and pretty in the mountains as if those pretty beings are yokais¡¯ transformations. If deities and buddhas want to transform, they have to transform into an ugly one.


    Actually, things were not like this at the beginning. Deities have normal aesthetic standards and they usually transform to be pretty; yokais live in the wild and they have an indescribable aesthetic standard. No one knows what happened, but humans are having rumors which are opposite of the truth. Then deities can only transform to be an ugly one. Otherwise, no one will believe us. Fortunately, most yokais live in the corners of the world and they don¡¯t have a good access to information. Otherwise, I don¡¯t know how many humans would be harmed.


    I and Huian are holding the kasaya and walking on the street. If there is someone who comes and asks us the price of this kasaya, we will unctuously say that it is worth 250 kg gold. Wherever we go, people say we are mental.


    Nonetheless, things are like this. Tathagata likes to make face-saving projects. What can I do? If I just give this kasaya to the emperor, he will not value it. If I sell this kasaya to the emperor, he will think this is a vulgar thing which he can buy with money. Therefore, we need to price it high and say a vulgar person needs to buy it, but a sophisticated monk shall be given it for free.


    Then, is Xuan Zang a sophisticated monk? Of course not! When he was still Golden Cicada, he could fall asleep during Buddha¡¯s teaching.


    You look at Huian. Huian has followed me for thousands of years and he learns nothing, but he knows he needs to pretend that he is listening when Buddha is teaching. That Golden Cicada doesn¡¯t even know how to pretend.


    One of us becomes scabies head and the other one become a lame one. We wear a worn robe, walking on the street. Huian says to me: ¡®Shifu, you don¡¯t look like a real one. How can a poor monk have such nice-looking limbs? People will know you are a fake one right away.¡¯


    I say to Huian: ¡®You have a lame left leg and then a lame right leg. Does your acting seem real?¡¯


    Huian thinks about it and says to me: ¡®How about this. You act as a woman and I act as a log. We both act a self-portray and we should be able to have everyone believe in us.¡¯


    ¡­¡­Whose self-portary!? Bah!


    I have rarely worn a man¡¯s clothes in thousands of years. I have not had it enough!


    On half of our way, we meet that prime minister Xiao Yu coming back from the royal court. The policemen have driven the pedestrians away and we keep going ahead to his face to sell kasaya.


    That prime minister stares at the red silk kasaya in my hands and the nine-ring monk staff in Huian¡¯s hands. He sees these shining and asks: ¡®How much is this kasaya?¡¯


    I am relieved. Finally we have met the right person to end our quest early. This prime minister is green-eyed. He must know these are both treasures. Tathagata¡¯s face-saving projects are well-done.


    I say: ¡®Kasaya is 250kg gold. The monk staff is I gold.¡¯


    He looks at our treasures and he rolls his eyes to our worn robes.


    As soon as he looks at us, I have a bad feeling. I have said that humans have misunderstandings about deities and good things.


    Xiao Yu says: ¡®How much are the worn robes on both of you?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I knew it would happen!


    Huian says: ¡®The worn clothes are worthless. The ones in our hands are treasures.¡¯


    Shut the fuck up you dumbass!


    Xiao Yu swings his hand and calmly says: ¡®I am willing to spend all my properties on the worn clothes on you.¡¯


    After that, he shows a look that he knows all. He whispers to other humans: ¡®Look at the treasures in their hands. They are shinny and pretty, but the monks are in worn robes. Obviously, these enlightened sophisticated monks are testing us. They want us to not be fooled by the appearance and we should see the inner essence from the surface. These silk clothes and beautiful faces are contemporary ashes. The real treasure must be the worn clothes on them.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This prime minister is really a man of character.


    Xiao Yu finishes his whisper and asks us dedicatedly: ¡®What can I do to receive the worn clothes from you two  sophisticated monks?¡¯


    Huian stands still with his facial expression unchanged. He doesn¡¯t move the muscle on his face and murmurs to me: ¡®Shifu, he asked us to take off our clothes on the street. Do you want me to beat him to death right now?¡¯


    Beat, beat, beat! You only know beating people to death! Are you going to be the prime minister after he dies!?

 Xuan Zang in Kasaya

    We stand there still and Xiao Yu is still waiting for our response.


    Huian asks me: ¡®Shifu, do we take off our clothes or not?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Since you have so many ideas and never listen to my words, please tell me if you are going to take off your clothes here.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®I do not care. If you do it, I will follow you. If you are not willing to do it, I can do it alone.¡¯


    Things aren¡¯t that simple actually. I am a bodhisattva from the West. Our Western Paradise doesn¡¯t emphasize this that it doesn¡¯t matter if I take off my clothes. Huian is different. His dad is the Pagoda Bearing Heavenly King Li Jing. If he takes off his clothes with me here today, later Heaven will spread chitchat: The second son of that Heavenly King Li doesn¡¯t learn anything else from Guanyin bodhisattva, but they are streaking on the streets in Chang¡¯an.


    Then, this thing will be unfriendly to his dad¡¯s fame.


    When we are struggling in our mind, Xiao Yu assumes that we cannot hear his whispering to his attendants: ¡®See, the sophisticated monks are testing us. We need to support ourselves and be calm at this moment.¡¯


    This prime minister is really full of promise!


    I clear my throat and say to that prime minister: ¡®I can sell you this kasaya and this monk staff, but my monk robe has been with me for many years. It shall not be sold. This robe is like my brothers and my limbs. Even my inexperienced disciple is not as close as it is to me.¡¯


    Huian: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Huian: ¡®I don¡¯t want this monk robe now. I can give it to you here.¡¯


    I say: ¡®If you want my monk robe, you will need to find another sophisticated monk who deserves it. Even if you give me a sky-high price for this robe, I will not sell it. I will not sell even one sleeve of it even if you give me this Tang Kingdom.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®I don¡¯t care. Take it if you want.¡¯


    Xiao Yu: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    That prime minister of Tang looks at us and he doubts that we are intending to make trouble here.


    I say: ¡®My traitorous disciple doesn¡¯t listen to my words. You can take him as well.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®My shifu has dumped me. This monk robe is no longer useful. Take it and burn it.¡¯


    Xiao Yu looks at our quarrel and becomes confused for a while. Then he acts like he has comprehended our meaning and says: ¡®I am stupid. Please give me hints, two sophisticated monks.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®Your eyes cannot even tell what a pearl is, and you mistake that treasure as a rag. Then you asked us for the rag clothes.¡¯


    I say: ¡®You called white black. You looked at the treasure and didn¡¯t know it. Therefore, these rag clothes shall not be given to you either.¡¯


    Xiao Yu affirmed that the things on our hands are used to confuse him, but after our words, he hesitates. It seems that his ugly sophisticated monk theory doesn¡¯t apply to this situation.


    Xiao Yu says: ¡®So this kasaya has a price and the monk robe doesn¡¯t have a price?¡¯


    Huian suddenly says: ¡®With just you, you want the monk robe on my shifu. Don¡¯t you be afraid of having a shorter life span since you are just a mortal?¡¯


    I say: ¡®My kasaya will protect the person in it from the reincarnation circle and any evil harms if that person is a devout monk. He will not be eaten by a tiger or a wolf. He will not be harmed by any evil beings. I am willing to be kind and give this chance to him. If a person doesn¡¯t have the luck, he shall face huge disasters.¡¯


    Xiao Yu finally comes around that he is not able to buy this kasaya. He says to me: ¡®Elder, although I am a mortal and my eyes cannot tell what a treasure is, but I know that Xuan Zang monk can wear this kasaya. Let me take you to the royal court to see our emperor.¡¯


    After all this rubbish talking, this Xiao Yu finally gives up his plan of wanting us to take off our clothes.


    The topic strays and strays. It finally strays to Xuan Zang.


    *Sigh*. You must know that Tathagata has said to me that a sophisticated being shall not speak straight to his point; he shall play around in the conversation to leave the listeners to guess; if they got it, they got it; if they don¡¯t, we shall not give them any hint either. This is called the asymmetry information. It is our accumulated experience that only if we talk like this, humans will believe our superiority.


    Therefore, Xiao Yu takes me and Huian to the imperial palace.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I say to Huian: ¡®Later when we see that emperor of Tang, we shall talk some ethereal shit and make him not understand us. Otherwise, if this thing cannot be completed, neither of us can go back to Nanhai.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®According to the procedure, we both have to show our real identity, but this Tang emperor is not a good person. What if he keeps thinking about shifu¡¯s real looking after he sees your face?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­So what do you want to tell me?¡¯


    Huian: ¡®Oh, how about you lift your dress up before we leave and show him your¡ª¡¯


    If we were on the cloud in the sky, I should have kicked him out from the sky.


    This disciple doesn¡¯t want to live anymore. You shall go back to your father and lead the troops. Western Paradise cannot keep you anymore.


    I have said it. Since my disciple has gone wrong, he doesn¡¯t come back to the right way no matter how hard I have tried, but I cannot tell that Heavenly King Li that your little prince has learned nothing from me but being toxic, and never opens his mouth for hundreds of years and once he speaks, there will not be a good word so please take him back to annoy yourself.


    *Sigh*. This little prince was still a normal well-behaved kid when he was sent to me. Now after a few years of processing here, he has become a weird kid. How can an old deity like the Heavenly King Li accept this result?


    We are both taken into the imperial palace to see that Tang emperor. As soon as Tang Taizong sees that both of us are beyond ugliness, he immediately becomes beyond happiness as if he has found some treasures. Xiao Yu has not introduced us and Tang Taizong hurries to ask: ¡®Why are two sophisticated monks coming here?¡¯


    One of us is a scabies head and the other one has a lame leg. I have no idea why he thinks we are superior. It is probably that scabies head and a lame leg have almost become the synonym of sophisticated monks. If we act crazy, he must believe that we came from the sky.


    Xiao Yu says: ¡®These two sophisticated monks have a red silk kasaya and a nine-ring monk staff. I have checked them, and they are the valuable treasures of the world. I think Xuan Zang needs these, so I took them to see your highness.¡¯


    Oh, now you think these are treasures. Didn¡¯t you want to buy the rag clothes a moment ago?


    Tang Taizong is obviously very glad and asks me: ¡®How much is this kasaya and how much is this monk staff?¡¯


    I tell him that this kasaya is 250 kg gold of disasters to anyone except for its designated person. It is free to the designated person.


    Tang Taizing was delighted then he sees that I talk normally and act normally. He is not as happy and asks his attendant aside: ¡®Why is this superior being not crazy?¡¯


    ¡­¡­Who told you superior beings are all crazy?!


    Huian hears it clearly. He suddenly shouts: ¡®The Tang emperor! This kasaya can keep the wearer from falling into the reincarnation circle, and you show no respect to Buddhism. Do you want to go the Wangsi City again!?¡¯


    The Tang emperor is shocked. He obviously didn¡¯t expect that we know that he was summoned to the nether world because he broke his promise. He sees that we know a lot and believes that we are higher than higher beings immediately. He expresses his desire for this monk staff and the kasaya.


    I hold onto Buddha¡¯s ethereal rule and say to the Tang emperor: ¡®If you give us money, we are not selling them.¡¯


    Xiao Yu speaks right after: ¡®If you don¡¯t want money, Tang is abundant, and we have a lot of treasures to exchange.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Please shut up, prime minister Xiao.


    The Tang emperor says: ¡®You asked for 250 kg gold and now you heard me wanting to buy them and you don¡¯t want money. Are you thinking that I will force you to give them to me for free?¡¯


    I don¡¯t want to talk to this Tang Taizong now. Tathagata is wrong. If I say ethereal words to listeners, I have to consider their intelligence level.


    Huian says: ¡®If the user is Xuan Zang monk, we will not charge you. If the user is anyone else, we will not give you any discount.¡¯


    The Tang emperor becomes glad and says: ¡®Great! Great! Great! It must be Xuan Zang who wears these! No one else in Tang is suitable for these treasures!¡¯


    He is glad obviously. He asks his servants to take this kasaya and asks Xuan Zang to come wear it. That Xuan Zang is confusedly being summoned into the imperial palace to wear new clothes.


    The emperor says: ¡®My imperial brother, let me see how you look in this kasaya. If you look good, we shall get it for you.¡¯


    That little monk is only eighteen years old and he grows up in a temple. He has never seen the emperor before. He is a little scared in the imperial palace. The emperor asks him to put it on, so he puts the kasaya on quickly.


    Xiao Yu says: ¡®Lights shine in the imperial palace. The bright pearl makes moonlights. That a treasure it is. It suits Xuan Zang monk the best.¡¯


    The Tang emperor says: ¡®You have gained face for Tang. Let this monk in the kasaya and the monk staff in his hand to walk around Chang¡¯an city!¡¯


    The residents of Chang¡¯an city say: ¡®What a living bodhisattva he is! He looks even better than Guanyin bodhisattva!¡¯


    The guards say: ¡®Our Tang is hopeful! Our monk has more imposing manner than Ksitigarbha bodhisattva! The way to India must be smooth!¡¯


    Huian suddenly says when others are complementing: ¡®He looks like a countryman who just enters a big city. Shifu, are you sure this guy is the Golden Cicada?¡¯


    ¡­¡­Kid, why are you talking irresponsibly the truth in front of the emperor.


    Huian sees that I don¡¯t give a response and says again: ¡®Shifu, let¡¯s go. I am a little scared.¡¯


    I ask: ¡®What are you scared for? Isn¡¯t this good?¡¯


    Huian points at that Xuan Zang of bright eyes and graceful eyebrows whose face is white like a meat bun: ¡®I am afraid that he will suddenly come to you and say ¡°This sister. I have seen you¡±.¡¯


    After he said it, I am gooseflesh all over as well. I believe there is something wrong but I don¡¯t remember.


    Yet, his jinxing mouth works after his words. That Xuan Zang glances at us among the crowd and I don¡¯t know what he is thinking but he retrogrades to our direction.


    I am a little nervous. I am nervous enough that I have forgot my lines. I ask Huian: ¡®What do we do now accordingly?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®We show our real identity and ask them to take scriptures from the Western Paradise.¡¯


    People watch that Xuan Zang is hustling to us and we immediately show our real identity. Two shiny bodhisattvas suddenly appear and surprises the nearby people.


    I was going to say my lines but that Xuan Zang sees me and suddenly becomes joyful. He says: ¡®This sister. I have¡ª¡¯


    Huian grabs my sleeves and tumbles to the clouds. He shouts back: ¡®Three rolls of scriptures are in Tathagata Buddha, Nalanda Temple, India, Western Paradise. Don¡¯t forget!¡¯


    People beneath us obviously have never seen any real deities. They all kneel down and I doubt if they heard our words clearly.


    Among all these black headed crowd, only that little monk is looking up at us in the kasaya I gave to him, and with the monk staff I gave to him. He watches us leaving and mutters in a small voice in a daze after his unfinished sentence:


    ¡®I have seen you in my past life.¡¯

 Sun Wukong Ran Away Again

    Since I came back to Western Paradise from the mortal world, I finally have my peaceful life back.


    I imagine. That troublesome monkey meets that tiny temper monk and he cannot beat or accuse the monk. If he leaves the monk, he will not be enlightened. If he doesn¡¯t leave, he will have to put up with the monk. That Golden Cicada never changes his personality no matter how many times he reincarnates. He talks gently to people and if he thinks he is right, he will not step back. Just look at that he has been eaten nine times by that yokai in flowing-sand river and he is going to be eaten for the tenth times.


    That troublesome monkey is going to race against the Golden Cicada on who is more stubborn? Can he win? He will have to put up with the monk.


    Once I come up with the result that that Sun Wukong who made havoc in Heaven is going to be subdued entirely by a human, I am very excited.


    No matter what the end of this thing will be, as long as that troublesome monkey doesn¡¯t have a good end, I will feel relieved.


    In fact, as an all-knowing bodhisattva, I must know the future, but this cheating ability is too powerful that I cannot live well. After I turned on this ability for a few times and knew how many rice grains that my disciple ate in a meal, things were too boring. As a result, I have blocked this all-knowing ability.


    Especially after that Sun monkey became my responsibility, I don¡¯t dare to look at the future. I don¡¯t want to see him causing trouble to scare me again.


    Since we came back to Western Paradise, my disciple is like he has turned on some sort of switch and never talks. Everytime I ask him where he went in the afternoon, he will stare at me with a look of ¡°Don¡¯t you know everything?¡± and walks away silently.


    I think, Huian has a misunderstanding of me that he knows I have this cheating ability that I must have it on all the time, but this is embarrassing because I don¡¯t turn on this ability daily. Yet, he thinks I will know it no matter what he does and what he thinks so he just doesn¡¯t communicate with me anymore, but in fact¡­¡­


    I don¡¯t know.


    I ask him where he went because I respect his privacy. I am not going to watch what he is doing but he doesn¡¯t understand my pains.


    Today, Tathagata asks me: ¡®Why is your disciple missing again? Did you take him to let him walk around in Western Paradise?¡¯


    I have no other words but: ¡®He has grown up. He has his own stuff to do.¡¯Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    Tathagata says: ¡®You as his shifu should take care of him. He is your disciple. It is not good to give too much freedom to the younger generation. It makes our Western Paradise seem to have no rules.¡¯


    *Sigh*. What does Tathagata know? My disciple is different from his. Huian is not picked by me from those beings of potential. He is a prince of the Heavenly King Li. Even if he had a low IQ, or he is a stone, or he is a log, or he has a hole in his brain, I cannot drive him away because all are caused by Tathagata. This is a diplomatic problem.


    Sometimes I feel that Huian is not sent here to be my disciple, but to make peace between Heaven and Western Paradise by marriage. His dad let him marry me. I cannot beat him or verbally accuse him. I cannot do anything but let him grow up freely. When he has his temper, I have to pacify him. Being a shifu of his is so cramped.


    As we are talking about him, he comes back. Recently, Huian has a trait that once he comes back, he will give me a looking of ¡°you have known all¡± as if I know everything, but I do not.


    Tathagata says: ¡®You guys are in good relationship. You can even communicate with eye contact?¡¯


    I say to myself that eye contact is one-directional from him to me.


    Tathagata says: ¡®I know you have your own difficulties. That Muzha is the second prince of the Heavenly King Li. He sent his son here because he is afraid that his son will not behave well in Heaven and will be harmed. Sometimes, you cannot manage him but you cannot let him go. It is awkward in between. Let me teach him for you once.¡¯


    Then he calls Huian to come here and asks: ¡®Why are you so impolite to elders? Your shifu has spoiled you too much and you have become such a person who doesn¡¯t know politeness. Who taught you to use eye contact only to communicate when you see your shifu?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®My shifu knows me. He knows everything.¡¯


    Tathagata has been with me longer than Huian and he knows what I think in my mind even if I just stand here like a log. He speaks for me: ¡®Your shifu knows but I don¡¯t know. Why don¡¯t you tell me?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®It is not a big deal. My shifu already knows it. That Sun Wukong killed six cateran on the way and argued against that Xuan Zang. He tumbled his Jing Dou Cloud and left Xuan Zang alone in the wild!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    What!?


    It is just a few days that I didn¡¯t look at them and a big accident just happened? Never mind he killed, but he killed six and dropped the Tang monk in the wild?!


    And I am informed about this by my disciple in front of my boss?


    Sun Wukong, you are the one should be knifed thousands of times. You are full of promise.


    Huian is proud and says: ¡®It is okay. My shifu knows the past and the future. He has known it.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    No, I didn¡¯t know it. I don¡¯t want to know it.


    Tathagata looks at me. I look at Huian. Huian looks at Tathagata. I look at Tathagata.


    Yet, Tathagata is looking at me still.


    At last, Tathagata smiles at me: ¡®Go.¡¯


    I sadly stand up and straighten my dress.


    This troublesome monkey is no longer a troublemaker.


    He is my biological son, my biological ancestor, my opponent in my previous life, and my benefactor who helped me in my previous life. I doubt if I owed him several lives that I have to take care of him now. From now on, I am not only a dad and a mom for him, I also have to clear up the mess he has done.


    If he becomes a buddha in the future, he shall not call that monk his shifu. He shall call me his daddy.

 Headache Spell

    Well, that Tang Sanzang must have lectured him because Tang Sanzang is discontented after Sun Wukong killed six cateran.


    How could Qitian Dasheng (Great Sage, Equal of Heaven) tolerate a lecture? Before Tang Sangzang finished his first sentence, Sun Wukong left without looking back on his Jing Dou Cloud. He tumbled straight 13468 miles so that he is too fast to leave his shadows behind.


    *Sigh*. What a monkey he is. It seems that Tang Sanzang is still too young to restrain the monkey.


    We as buddhas don¡¯t have many abilities but talking on and on. This Xuan Zang¡¯s ability to lecture has degraded.


    Back then, he¡­¡­


    He could talk more than his shifu!


    At the beginning, Tathagata gave me three headbands: a tight headband, a golden headband, a silence headband. I plan to put one on the monkey since he is disobedient. However, my memory is not so good: my short memory doesn¡¯t come from a disabled brain but from an overly powerful brain. My brain holds the memory of tens of thousands of years and I am at the same time all-knowing so that I cannot distinguish the difference between these three headbands.


    After all, they look the same. I cannot distinguish any of them based on their appearance.


    At first, I wanted to go directly to that Tang Sanzang and give him a headband and teach him the spell to use it so he could speak that spell when he was bored and lecturing the monkey. You know, our buddhas don¡¯t have other obvious abilities but we know how to lecture people. Lecturing can make people want to die as well.


    However, I am also afraid to meet that little monk. He will goggle at me with his large eyes and come to me: ¡®This sister. I have seen you in my past life¡­¡­¡¯


    This will be scary.


    Back then, when I was in Western Paradise, I couldn¡¯t live well with this Golden Cicada. I didn¡¯t expect him to be exiled to the mortal world. He doesn¡¯t remember his shifu but he remembers me! This is scary.


    That Golden Cicada is stubborn. I am scared more of his stubbornness than Sun Wukong¡¯s Golden-banded staff. I have lived for so long that I like to talk to myself when I have nothing important to do. I am not talking to anyone, and I am just talking to myself when I am walking. One time, that Golden Cicada heard me talking and he disagreed with me and he argued against me. In order to keep arguing against me, he even stayed in my Nanhai, not leaving. Every morning since then, I woke up and saw him saying Amitabha. His talking caused me headaches.


    Let alone that disobedient Sun Wukong, even a powerful being like me hates himself for not being able to bite him in order to shut him down.


    I detested him for being too talkative. When he was talking, I was doing finger circles on my lotus seat. I silently cursed him and I wanted him to fall from Western Paradise and have bloody tragedies for eight lives.


    Who knows that my curse works. He was distracted during Buddha¡¯s lecture because he was thinking on how to argue against me. He was into the quarrel against me and he didn¡¯t pay attention to Buddha¡¯s speaking. He fell asleep in the class and was driven out of Western Paradise to the mortal world by Buddha. His nine lives ended in a yokai¡¯s stomach. He still has not changed himself in his tenth life and now he is going to be thought about by countless yokais, demons, ghosts, and monsters.


    Ayyyy, I have lived for so many years that I have seen many people. Some are black. Some are black and white. Some are colorful. Some are grey and dim. Yet, I cannot find a second being who is as purely white as his stubbornness since he was exiled away from Western Paradise.


    I am thinking about how I should go find him. If I transform into a monk, he will question the location of my temple. If I transform into a lumberman, how I can have a valuable thing to give? I can only transform into an old lady and pretend that I am going to find my missing son with the clothes I sewed for him and a hat in my hand in which I have put that tight headband in.


    In conclusion, being a woman in the mortal world has a few advantages. No matter at what age, women look friendlier than men and people are more willing to believe in women.


    I limp forward on a stick. I always say that Huian doesn¡¯t act as a lame man well that he has left leg lamed and then his right leg lamed. How about me? I cannot act as a lame person well either, but I have been acting as a woman for thousands of years. It can be a piece of cake for me.


    From a distance, I see Xuan Zang walking alone. He is leading the horse and moving slowing forward on the cliff.


    He sees me immediately when I enter his sight. He walks to the side of the road politely because I am an old lady. He is holding the horse aggrievedly and waiting for me to pass.


    I ask him deceptively: ¡®Skinny monk, why are you walking alone with your horse in the wild. Where did you come from and where are you going?¡¯


    Xuan Zang gives me a salute and says aggrievedly: ¡®I am the monk from Tang who is going to Western Paradise to receive scriptures. I wasn¡¯t alone. I took a disciple with me days ago, but he didn¡¯t listen to my words. I rebuked him a word or two and he left me alone.¡¯


    I say to myself: This disciple runs away after a small rebuke; I am not the only shifu in the world who has a disciple whose temper is worse than his shifu. He was agitating for me but now as soon as I see that he is facing the same situation that I am facing, I feel sympathy for him and say: ¡®This disciple is so out-of-control!¡¯


    Xuan Zang complains: ¡®Isn¡¯t he? He always says that he is Qitian Dasheng who made Heaven havoc, so he doesn¡¯t want to put up with me. All my intentions are for him. I just want to persuade him to be good and to not kill more. I am more afraid that his killings will go after him one day!¡¯


    I hear that and have more sympathy for him. I couldn¡¯t help reminiscing with him: ¡®Right, right. A shifu always does things for the sake of his disciple. That child thinks he is powerful but what does he know? In this world, who says that you will win if you are physically more powerful? I have a dis¡ª a son. He doesn¡¯t listen to my words either and his temper is even worse than mine.¡¯


    He even thinks that he was still that second prince of the Lis with enormous power that he swings his rod to prove his strength no matter who he meets.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    Xuan Zang hears my words and complains as well: ¡®He even thinks he was still that Qitian Dasheng who made Heaven a havoc with enormous power that he swings his rod to prove his strength no matter who he meets. Old lady, you must not know that he was found guilty because he has such a power. I am afraid that if Heaven accuses him one more time, no one can save him. Although he is disobedient, and he owes other beings a lot, he is still a good being in his nature. I don¡¯t want to let him be buried as a yokai who will have a bad end in his life.¡¯


    Oh my! This Xuan Zang as expected has become better after his ten lives in the mortal world! I almost want to like him and exchange the experience of raising a disciple!


    I stand on the road and let go of my stick. We are eagerly exchanging our experience of raising a disciple and complaining together how disobedient our disciples are. We are so into the chat that I almost forgot why I am here.


    Finally, that Xuan Zang asks me: ¡®Old lady, how is your son now? Did he grow up?¡¯


    ¡­¡­I finally recall why I am here.


    I wipe my tears and say to him: ¡®He did. Now he has joined Buddhism but unfortunately, he died a few days after that. I went to get his old clothes in the temple. Here.¡¯


    I hand the clothes and the hat with the tight headband to him: ¡®My son died young. He doesn¡¯t have the luck to be a monk. Your disciple can wear these clothes and this hat. Maybe he will come back.¡¯


    Xuan Zang takes them from me and says unhappily: ¡®What can I do when he comes back? He will be still rebellious and doesn¡¯t listen to my words or edification.¡¯


    I say to him: ¡®Well, I have an idea to make him obedient. Here is a spell called ¡°Mind Calming Truth Words¡± which also go by tight headband spell. The headband is hidden in this hat. You can cast the spell when he puts this hat on. I am sure he will listen to your words then.¡¯


    I taught him the spell and Xuan Zang memorizes it carefully. He suddenly looks at me with his shiny eyes. He opens his eyes wide and says: ¡®Is this magical for real?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes. What will I, an old lady, cheat you for?¡¯


    Xuan Zang examines the clothes and the hat with rapture. He asks: ¡®Old lady, did you use this headband on your son as well?¡¯


    ¡­¡­No.


    I ache for my disciple. I don¡¯t want to harness this headband on him even when he doesn¡¯t listen to my words.


    This gadget is here for Sun Wukong the bastard.


    I was thinking when I gave this equipment to Xuan Zang that he¡¯d better murmur the spell for a few times per day so that Sun Wukong would have many waves of headaches and he would know the result of causing me troubles.


    Now I have given that thing to Xuan Zang and I plan to find Sun Wukong. I didn¡¯t expect to see that troublesome monkey coming back on his cloud after I left the cliff.


    He comes back? This doesn¡¯t seem normal for the monkey.


    I go to him and ask disingenuously: ¡®Why are you here?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says madly: ¡®Old Sun has been accused by that monk. I just went to the East Sea, but I decided to come back after consideration.¡¯


    This is strange.


    This disobedient monkey never listens to others. What made him come back?


    That Sun Wukong glares at me and says: ¡®I suddenly recalled the moment when I was beneath Five Element Mountain. Guanyin goddess, you asked me what I would do if the monk beat me, accused me, drove me away. I have sworn to you that I will not leave him unless he dumps me. Also, I have called him my shifu. If I regret now, others will think I am a stingy guy.¡¯


    Does this Sun monkey begin to understand things now?


    He looks at my facial expression and he doesn¡¯t think I believe his words. He gets mad and shouts: ¡®Although I jumped out of a crack on a rock and don¡¯t have a father to teach me or a mother to raise me, I am not a villain who lies and betrays. Since I have promised you Guanyin bodhisattva that I will protect him throughout the journey, I will do it.¡¯


    That monkey carries his golden cudgel on his shoulder grumpily. He tilts his head and says to me: ¡®How prestigious I was when I was still Qitian Dasheng? How many deities were scared of me in the five lakes, four seas, mortal world, and the nether world? How many yokai kings became Damon and Pythias with me from three mountains, six caves, east, west, south and north? How many monkeys I led when I was the monkey king in the Mountain of Flowers of Fruit? How many lives I have saved and how many deaths I have caused? But when Old Sun became a goner and was imprisoned by that Buddha beneath the Five Element Mountain, no one recalls me during that five-hundred years. Let alone coming to visit me, they probably didn¡¯t even mention my name. Only you, Guanyin bodhisattva came to save me and enlighten me. I have remembered this loving-kindness and will not betray you.¡¯


    I didn¡¯t expect this monkey to keep faith.


    He sees that I am looking at him surprised and I don¡¯t seem to believe him. He knows that he can never argue against me to win and he just turns around and walks away angrily.


    They seem to have made peace, so I am going back to my Nanhai. I can enjoy my peace and quiet for a while now.


    I come back and Huian is sitting by the lotus pond. He asks me: ¡®Shifu, did you solve the problem between that monkey and his shifu?¡¯


    I say: ¡®I did.¡¯


    Huian asks again: ¡®Is everything taken care of?¡¯


    I was going to say yes but I am afraid that monkey will cause trouble again. I don¡¯t dare to exaggerate so I wave my willow twig. A scene of the two of them appears on the lotus pond.


    Once that Sun Wukong puts on the hat, Xuan Zang begins to cast the spell. The tight headband immediately grows its root on the monkey¡¯s head. No matter how hard he tries to take it off, the tight headband doesn¡¯t break. The monkey feels so much pain that he is knocking his head on a rock.


    I am gratified and say: ¡®Okay, problem solved.¡¯


    However, a shout comes from the lotus pond: ¡®Fine! It must be that Guanyin in Nanhai who harms me! Who else in the world would have such a treasure to surrender me!?¡¯


    After that, he looks back at that Xuan Zang fiercely: ¡®You are my shifu. I will not say more if you want me to die, but now that Guanyin in Nanhai harms me! Stay here and I shall go beat him in Nanhai!¡¯


    I who just said ¡°Problem solved¡±: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    This monkey is ungrateful. Why don¡¯t you think about the event when I saved you from that Five Element Mountain and provided you a way to be enlightened?


    That Tang monk wants to stop him but Sun Wukong has disappeared after one Jing Dou Cloud. He must be heading to my Nanhai.


    In the scene on the lotus pond, that monk feels anxious and grumbles: ¡®This monkey is so impatient. Why don¡¯t you think before you act? The headache spell was taught by Guanyin bodhisattva to me. I can cast it. So can he. Your trip to Nanhai is looking for more headache. Ayyy, too tough to teach. He is really too tough to teach!¡¯


    I sigh as well. This monkey son is a little silly.


    He saved his brain and didn¡¯t want to use his brain when he was little. Who knows that he still doesn¡¯t have much brain left when he grows up¡­¡­


    I was sighing and then I hear a shout from my black bamboo grove. This shout falls my bamboo leaves like a rain. It is full of power and grandeur and no less than a roar from a tiger:


    ¡®Nanhai Guanyin! Come out and fight me!¡¯


    ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva! Among all the deities and buddhas in the sky, I respect you only! I submit to no one and never kneel down to ordinary beings! I have only knelt down to my shifu and you Guanyin bodhisattva. My head has never lowered when I see that Jade Emperor in the Lingxiao Palace thirty-three levels up there in the sky! I respect you and trust you, but you constantly think of how to harm me and put that tight headband on me and ask that little monk to talk me to death!¡¯


    I say to myself that this kid has unparalleled silliness. You have already known that I gave the tight headband to the monk and now you are coming to seek more torture?


    I can just sit here and raise my lips and you will have to kneel down and roll on the ground because of the pains.


    However, I was going to give him a lesson to show my Guanyin¡¯s power to him, but I didn¡¯t expect my weird disciple to pick up his rod and rush to him. He shouts: ¡®Sun! Do not beat my shifu! Fight me first!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    If my weird disciple is not a dumb one, he must do it on purpose.


    In fact, you must know that this monkey couldn¡¯t even reach your shifu, let alone fighting me. Now you are yawping here, and you just want to fight someone.


    Huian squares his shoulders and raises his chin. He points at Sun Wukong with his black rod: ¡®If you want to fight my shifu, you shall pass my corpse first!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    You are such a trouble-looking traitorous disciple!

 Havoc in the Black Bamboo Grove

    My disciple has a lot of imaginations and he always acts, but I never think that his dramas can be so overwhelming.


    Sun Wukong carries his rod and doesn¡¯t spare a look at my disciple. He raises his monkey head and says: ¡®Little prince, didn¡¯t you fight me with your father and your brother when that Jade Emperor sent a hundred thousand troops to put me down? You could not beat me at that time. How did you rebuild your confidence after just five-hundred years?¡¯


    I see. This Sun monkey is not in a good mood. I am afraid if he gets mad for real, he will kill my silly disciple with one thud. I can only say that: ¡®Huian, come back. I don¡¯t allow you to cause trouble.¡¯


    I also say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Although that tight headband is harnessed on your head, it is not going to hurt you all the time. Tang monk is just a mortal human with a stubborn personality. How can he make peace with you? He is the only person who I taught the spell to. There will be no other beings who know this spell. Not everyone will cast this spell to cause you a headache. What is the matter when your own shifu casts this spell on you?¡¯


    Sun Wukong sits at the bottom of my lotus seat and glares at me. He suddenly grins, but his eyes are like a pond of dead water without any amusement. He glares at me for a while and says: ¡®I was beneath the Five Element Mountain for five-hundred years. I couldn¡¯t move and no one talked to me. I could only find some metals to eat. A day was like a year. How prestigious I was and then none of those who knew me came to visit me after that mountain imprisoned me!¡¯


    He gets more emotional when he speaks more. His eyes shine with a rush; inside his eyes, I see the lights of which when he was burned and incinerated by the big fire in a Daoist furnace:


    ¡®From then on, I realized there are many who are scared of me, but there are only two who treat me with a heart: you and my shifu. Therefore, I have said to myself, later no matter what that Nanhai Guanyin says, I will listen; no matter how my shifu treats me, I will remember his loving-kindness. However, now you two! One harnessed a tight headband on me and one cast that spell to cause me a headache! You are racing on putting things heavier than the Five Element Mountain on my back!¡¯


    ¡®I just don¡¯t understand it. I was born without parents or relatives, but what did I do to deserve such treatment? Is there anyone in the world who is willing to treat me nicely? That Puti Master taught me, but he doesn¡¯t allow me to call him shifu. That Jade Emperor assigned me a position, but he asked me to breed horses for him. One hundred thousand soldiers pressed me down on that Deity-behead Platform, knifing me and chopping me. That Taibai Jinxing (Great White Golden Star) confined me in the big fire and burned me for seven times seven, forty-nine days and he wouldn¡¯t stop. That Tathagata pressed me beneath the Five Element Mountain. My shifu drove me away. You, you are Guanyin bodhisattva. You are mercy and help living beings. You are willing to save so many beings in the world, but what about me? Why don¡¯t you help me and save me? You know that I will pay if I receive kindness, but you are making it a luxury for me to return the kindness.¡¯


    He gets more emotional as he shouts. He is roaring waves in my Nanhai lotus pond. My black bamboo grove is shaking in the wind. The leaves on the ground cannot rest in peace either.


    Although I am a soft-tempered guy, it doesn¡¯t mean I never get mad. I almost broke my precepts because of my anger: ¡®What a monkey you are. I just put a headband on you. That Jade Emperor penetrated your scapula with curvy blades and how much pain you had, but I didn¡¯t see you going to Lingxiao Palace to question why he had done this. Why don¡¯t you think about how many times I have saved you and how much effort I have spent on you?¡¯


    I have raised this son for nothing! It took me a lot of thought to set this monkey free who conspired against the authority from the Five Element Mountain! I grinded in front of Jade Emperor for a long time! Now I just put a headband on him and he is making a disturbance.


    You think that a criminal with conspiracy is easy to be forgiven? You planned to overthrow Jade Emperor¡¯s ruling and kill him as well! Do you think you just broke a glass vase and he would let you go after my first try? How can these be the same!?


    Ungrateful! Truly ungrateful!


    Yet, that Sun Wukong not only doesn¡¯t appreciate my loving-kindness, he also opens his eyes large enough to tear up his canthus. He hoarsely shouts at me: ¡®I don¡¯t care how others treat me in this world! I was one who jumped out from a rock anyway without parents or relatives! I do not know what pain is! But I don¡¯t allow you or my shifu to treat me bad!¡¯The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    After this, he doesn¡¯t lower his head and he murmurs to himself one time after another: ¡®Only you two cannot do this. No, no!¡¯


    I liked to talk and talk the best, but now I don¡¯t want to because I don¡¯t have the mood. This monkey is a real shit. You don¡¯t go after the bad ones, but you go after the good ones. Your temper is even more than that Jade Emperor.


    Sun Wukong rests his body on his rod and points at Huian grumbly: ¡®Is he good or useful? If he doesn¡¯t listen to your words, do you put anything on him to cut off his head and make him want to crack his own head? No, of course you do not. He is your baby disciple. You want to love him more. What made me qualified for bearing such a pain?¡¯


    This monkey is not going to quit being obstinate here against me. It is true that my disciple doesn¡¯t listen to my words, but he doesn¡¯t make havoc in Heaven. Even at his most disobedient situation, he just loses his temper to me. He is not like you who rebels, kills, and steals.


    Yet, speaking is not going to help now. This Sun monkey affirms that I harmed him, and he is going to flounce here.


    I can only say: ¡®Even if you said this, I will not take off the tight headband and give freedom back to you. If you are not satisfied with this, you can come fight me. Am I scared of you? Huian, stand behind me. If you move, I will put a headband on you as well.¡¯


    Huian is shocked and doesn¡¯t dare to cause more trouble. He stands behind me well-behaved.


    Sun Wukong sneers: ¡®Cool! This thud is because you stealthily calculated me and put this hateful headband on my head!¡¯


    He raises his golden cudgel and forcibly thuds at my head. That Dinghai Shenzhen (Sea-stabilizing Godly needle/ the previous name for the golden cudgel before it belonged to Sun) accompanied by tornados sweep straight at me as if a rainstorm is coming and the wild wind has arrived. But at the moment when that cudgel is raised up, he bites the bullet and glares his eyes large. His whole body stops moving as if it is frozen. His hands hold the cudgel tightly and he glares at me flustered and exasperated. He doesn¡¯t hit me, but he doesn¡¯t take back his cudgel. He is in between and actually he pauses.


    Suddenly, that cudgel which can surrender a dragon, kneel down a tiger, and turn over rivers and seas is loosened and taken back. That monkey gets mad and turns around. He faces me with his back and curses: ¡®Fine! Fine! Fine! If I beat you today, others will say that I am a betrayer. Also, you are wearing this dress everyday. I don¡¯t want to seem like bullying a female.¡¯


    After that, he looks back and gives me a black look. He gnashes: ¡®Just wait. I have remembered this one thud and I will hit it one day!¡¯


    Then, he tumbles his Jing Dou Cloud to the sky. In a moment less than a blink, he has travelled 13468 miles away without leaving a shadow behind.


    This monkey is strange for real.


    If today his cudgel lands on me, I will definitely let him know Nanhai Guanyin is not that Jade Emperor who needs many guards to be safe. Let alone landing a thud on me, he probably cannot find my real position either.


    Yet, his cudgel was taken back at the end. There is no reason to take back an arrow. All is decided on the bowstring. How many changes of mind are there in this moment? Shooting an arrow out is simple but taking that flying arrow back is extremely difficult.


    Tathagata always tells me that everything has a potential, but I think there are good ones and bad ones. Now I saw that Sun Wukong kept on condemning me and I realized that his rock heart has feelings and emotions; although he has no parents and is a monkey born from the world itself, he has a kindness potential.


    He is not afraid when he made havoc in Heaven or broke Lingxiao Palace or being pushed into the Daoist furnace. How many people are there who hate him enough to gnash and scared of him enough to lose their self-control? He happens to remember that little kindness he received and he saves this little glow in his palms and he doesn¡¯t want to let it go even if this little kindness is hurting him now.


    I underestimated this rock monkey.


    At this point, Huian says straight to me: ¡®Shifu, I feel pity for that Sun monkey.¡¯


    ¡®Shifu you always call me good-for-nothing, but I grew up with my parents who raised me and taught me. When I grew more, I had shifu to educate me, but that monkey jumped out from a crack in a rock. Let alone any parental care, he doesn¡¯t even have any of his same kind. He was born in the wild mountains and faced tigers and wolves. There is no easy fast way to tame him.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Now you know to speak for him. You were causing trouble and wanted to fight him just a while ago.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®He is Qitian Dasheng Sun Wukong. I should catch any possible chance to fight him. If I didn¡¯t fight him this time, I don¡¯t know when the next time will be. If he becomes a buddha in the future, I cannot even touch him.¡¯


    Fight, fight, fight! What you know only is fighting! Please tell me who you don¡¯t want to fight against!


    You are such a big boy now, but there is nothing in your brain except for fighting.


    He speaks and gets excited: ¡®I am jealous of that Sun Wukong. He will have eighty-one difficulties, which means that he will fight eighty-one yokais at least! How joyful the journey¡ª¡¯


    He speaks and suddenly sees my look. He changes back to be a well-behaved child and says: ¡®Of course he shall not kill those yokais. Just tame them.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I look at my silly disciple. I am afraid that he is not likely to be assigned as a buddha in Western Paradise for his whole life. He can just be a janitor in my bamboo grove to trim my lotus and sweep the bamboo leaves. *Sigh*

 What A Shameless Macaque

    In my Nanhai, my disciple calls me shifu. The beings who don¡¯t have a fixed duty call me bodhisattva. Beings like Longnv don¡¯t call me if unnecessary.


    In other words, only the beings from Heaven and low class in Western Paradise who don¡¯t know the truth will call me goddess.


    I am not scared of anything but being called ¡°Guanyin goddess¡±.


    Because if someone calls me this, it must be that something bad has happened, usually a severely bad incident.


    For example, last time when this happened, was someone in Heaven running to my place and crying out: ¡®Things have gone wrong! Guanyin goddess! That Protector of the Horses Sun Wukong is making havoc in Heaven!¡¯


    ¡­¡­From then on, my fate of thousands of years of tragedy has begun. The next morning after I just drove away the disobedient monkey, and when I thought I could spend my peaceful morning watching flowers, a golden-headed Gate is running through my black bamboo grove and crying out: ¡®Guanyin goddess! Things have gone wrong! Guanyin goddess!¡¯


    You have to know that in my black bamboo grove, nothing big will happen more than once in every one-hundred years. Below, people who burn incense and kneel down to my statues are those who seek more children, or marriage, or money, or fortune. Once there is a big thing coming straight to me from the black bamboo grove, it must be a war, or a plague, or a starvation, or any other things like these.


    After he calls me, I become scared. Did the mortal world have another disaster when I am not looking? Did they overthrow the king, or a plague burst out, or a dry season have not ended?


    I stand up immediately to see him. I see that golden-headed Gate is all sweaty because he ran so hard. He comes to me scratching and scrambling. It must be a severe incident. I begin to worry.


    Then, I hear him saying: ¡®Guanyin goddess, things have gone wrong. That white dragon in the stream has eaten the horse of the Tang monk. Dasheng found me to ask for your help!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Don¡¯t you dare say that again looking at my face?


    The golden-headed Gate kneels on the ground and raises his head: ¡®Ayyy, that Dasheng was going to find another horse but Xuan Zang monk is afraid of being eaten by a yokai in the wild alone that he clinches to Dasheng¡¯s sleeves and doesn¡¯t let Dasheng go. He is upset and crying¡­¡­¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Now I understood. These people¡¯s current idea is that a severely bad incident is not a thing; a trouble caused by Sun Wukong is a thing.


    This monkey must feel good. When he causes troubles, he doesn¡¯t even come to me by himself. He asks others to come to me for help. What am I? A janitor for him?


    My janitor disciple hears that there is a yokai that can be beaten, he stops sweeping and raises his ears to listen to our conversation.


    I say to him: ¡®Sweep your floor! It was that Aolie who ate the horse of the Tang monk! It is not a big deal!¡¯


    I say to myself: that Aolie is really good at picking food. He ate the horse of the Tang monk, but he is going to be the horse also. He has eaten his buddy that he shall carry everyone¡¯s baggage then.


    I was going to say that this Sun Wukong doesn¡¯t come to me by himself that I am not going to help him, but then I cannot bear when I think of his looking from yesterday. At last, I struggle for a while and then I pick up my sweeping disciple, going to Yingchou Stream.


    When I arrive at Yingchou Stream, that Xuan Zang is sitting on the floor crying, clinching to Sun Wukong¡¯s sleeve. He cries and mutters: ¡®My horse is gone. How do I go to Western Paradise?¡¯ Then, Sun Wukong shouts back: ¡®How useless you are! You don¡¯t let me go and you want a horse! We shall sit here and starve to death!¡¯


    They see me coming and both pull my sleeve to speak to me.


    That Tang monk says: ¡®Guanyin sister, my disciple was too rash. He couldn¡¯t fight against that dragon and let that dragon eat my horse. I asked him that: ¡°Yesterday when you surrendered a tiger, you said you have ways to surrender a dragon. How come you couldn¡¯t compete against a dragon today?¡± He cannot bear with any other¡¯s questioning or advice that he went back to fight the dragon again without looking back.¡¯


    That Sun Wukong pulls me grumbly and says angrily: ¡®What a good Guanyin bodhisattva you are! I don¡¯t care that you put the hat with the tight headband inside on me, but now you let that guilty sinner dragon eat the horse of my shifu after you left it in the stream! You must have done it on purpose!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Huian didn¡¯t bring his black rod with him. He brings up his besom and hit at Sun Wukong¡¯s butt madly: ¡®My shifu saved that dragon all because a normal horse cannot go to Western Paradise. He found this white dragon to be the horse for your shifu on purpose and now you are accusing my shifu all day long. What an ungrateful monkey you are¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong¡¯s lines were cut and he snaps at Huian: ¡®It is fine if Guanyin bodhisattva lectures me. How dare you a bastard from nowhere talk to me like this!¡¯


    Huian sneers: ¡®My father is the Heavenly King Li! You are the bastard from a rock¡­¡­¡¯


    I am watching that they are going to fight. Both I and the Tang monk want to stop them, but these two disciples are too surly to obey their shifu.


    I hear Sun Wukong saying: ¡®Good! I could have killed you in the previous two times but I didn¡¯t because you are the disciple of Guanyin bodhisattva and I don¡¯t haggle over these. Now you dare to be so unbridled and Old Sun¡¯s cudgel is going to teach you how to behave! You will know that not everyone in the world will spoil you like your shifu does!¡¯


    Huian swings his besom and raises his head: ¡®I am the first disciple of Nanhai Guanyin. You think that I don¡¯t know how to cast that headache spell?¡¯This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    Sun Wukong is stunned and glares. He looks back at me unbelievably and points at me with his trembling monkey finger: ¡®You you you actually taught the spell to this child¡­¡­¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He is my disciple. If I die instantly one day, all the Nanhai will be his. Of course, he knows the headache spell as well. This is like a key of the home and there is no reason for me to not give it to my successor.


    It is true that my disciple is a little stubborn, but his words aren¡¯t wrong. Sun monkey, it is time to have a brain.


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Good! You all have ganged up and come to harm me! Just wait for me to skin the little white dragon alive and pull its veins out!¡¯


    I hurriedly stop him: ¡®Why are you losing your temper again? That Aolie is a son of the Dragon King of the West Sea. Remember how many treasures you asked from him and what a good friendship you have. Now you are going to treat the child of your old friend like this?¡¯


    Sun Wukong cannot do this or that. He is going to explode right here: ¡®Say, what do I do! He ate the horse of my shifu! Ask him to pay for the horse!¡¯


    I can only say: ¡®Pay pay pay. I will ask him to pay for you. Just remember, take back your cudgel and don¡¯t attack.¡¯


    Then, Sun Wukong puts away his sea-turning golden cudgel in a huff and stands aside as a cold observer.


    I stand above the Yingchou Stream and call: ¡®Little prince, I am Nanhai Guanyin bodhisattva. This ugly yokai was na?ve and offended you. Come out.¡¯


    The little white dragon Aolie jumps out from the stream and becomes a man. He covers his belly which he just filled with food and kneels down to me. Then, he runs to me happily: ¡®Guanyin sister, you finally came! I have obeyed your words and waited here for that scripture taker!¡¯


    After that, he aggrievedly complains to me: ¡®That disobedient demon snapped at me.¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He takes his cudgel in his arms and looks at Huian sympathetically: ¡®He didn¡¯t know?¡¯


    Huian leisurely says: ¡®Now? If he doesn¡¯t know, he will.¡¯


    Sun Wukong also leisurely stands as if he has foreseen the jetton to revenge in the future. He raises the corners of his mouth and makes an inflatable smile.


    I say: ¡®Isn¡¯t the owner of the horse which you have eaten the scripture taker? Don¡¯t you see that ugly yokai with a hairy face and a Thunder God mouth? He is your dearly Sun Dasheng.¡¯


    Obviously, that little white dragon has over-imagined the appearance of Sun Wukong. He looks at that cudgel-hugging Sun Wukong who stands against the tree. His whole body cannot move as if it is frozen. He raises his finger pointing at Sun Wukong and turns his eyes to me. He says blankly: ¡®But, but he didn¡¯t say he was Sun Wukong or mention anything like the scripture taker. Bodhisattva, are you sure they are¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong is not an easy guy to deal with and he immediately cuts the line: ¡®You the unreasonable dragon, you never asked me so why I should say it?¡¯


    That little dragon has never experienced such a thing and he watches his ideal hero becoming a declasse monkey who verbally abuses anyone he sees. The little dragon is the kind of character of na?ve righteous and he cannot bear with the abuse. He feels wronged and gets mad. He doesn¡¯t care whether or not this monkey is the ideal hero in his mind and shouts back straightly: ¡®Didn¡¯t I ask you: where did this rude demon came from? You said it didn¡¯t matter and was going to beat me with your cudgel! How can such a monkey be a disciple of the scripture taker or be a monk!?¡¯


    Sun Wukong picks up his cudgel and is coming at the little dragon. I stop him and he even snarls: ¡®You ate my shifu¡¯s horse first! If I didn¡¯t get there in time, my shifu would have been eaten as well! You even ask me to treat you with politeness?¡¯


    The little white dragon doesn¡¯t dare to face him and he tries to hide behind me. Sun monkey has got his reason and is going to teach this little dragon a lesson. These two are circling around me and I feel a headache.


    I thought that one is Sun Dasheng who had endured sufferings and the other is the little dragon who almost got killed and they shall be more mature than before after their dooms. Now it seems to me that suffering didn¡¯t work on them.


    They circle around me and Huian doesn¡¯t know what else to do but holding his little besom in his arms. He hurriedly says: ¡®Go fight elsewhere. Don¡¯t circle around my shifu!¡¯


    The little white dragon anxiously says: ¡®Muzha brother, we have met in Heaven. Please help me!¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®You knew you couldn¡¯t fight against him or win him orally. Just apologize. Look at him. Does he look like someone who is reasonable?¡¯


    That little white dragon didn¡¯t even apologize when he was going to be killed in the sky and now his eye sockets turns red because he is verbally abused directly by someone. At last, he hides himself including his face behind my shoulder and gnashes out his words: ¡®I apologize! It is all my fault and I shouldn¡¯t have eaten the scriptures taker¡¯s horse! I am going to be the mount for the scriptures taker anyway! What¡¯s the matter? I will carry all the baggage as well according to the plan!¡¯


    That Sun Wukong holding his cudgel wants to point at the little white dragon through me and says: ¡®Now you even have excuses. I will beat you this loach¡­¡­¡¯


    The little white dragon drags my sleeve and shouts at him: ¡®I am the third prince of the Dragon King of the West Sea! You¡ªyou!¡¯ He was going to curse that monkey, but he doesn¡¯t dare to do so in front of me. He unpleasantly says to me: ¡®Guanyin sister, please ask that Sun Dasheng to not beat me. I can kowtow to him to apologize.¡¯


    I catch one side of that monkey¡¯s cudgel and my other sleeve is in the little white dragon¡¯s hands. I look at Sun Wukong with my twisted body: ¡®The little prince has said that he will kowtow to you and apologize. Forgive him and forget this. He will be the mount of your shifu in the future and carry you both to Western Paradise.¡¯


    That Sun monkey looks at me and looks at the little white dragon behind me. He rolls his eyes and I don¡¯t know what he is thinking. He sits on the ground straightly and throws away his cudgel, complaining: ¡®Receiving scriptures is such a suffering. I doubt that I will meet powerful yokais who I cannot beat or curse, and I will just die on the way because of that. Old Sun is not going to receive the scriptures now. Not going, not going!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    What are you flouncing about on the ground again?


    There are yokais who you cannot fight against? How can I believe this?


    Your shifu asks you to not fight and you will listen¡­¡­?


    He has passed half of the way. If he gives up here, Tathagata will nag me to death. That Jade Emperor will blame me as well. In conclusion, I am bonded to them and I have no way back.


    I ask him: ¡®Are you sure you are not going to Western Paradise?¡¯


    The monkey sits on the ground and peeps at me. Then he shows a pitiful look sitting on the ground with a side of his cudgel in his arms: ¡®No.¡¯


    I ask him again: ¡®Aren¡¯t you afraid of being called treacherous and leaving things unfinished?¡¯


    Sun Wukong peeps at me again and keeps on flouncing: ¡®I will kill anyone who backtalks about this! I will see who dares to do it!¡¯


    I am not stupid. He is asking for better treatment. He becomes smarter in a few days. When he is stupid, I am bothered. When he gets smart, I am more bothered.


    I say: ¡®If I call you treacherous, are you going to kill me as well?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Even if I am not treacherous, bodhisattva you are calling me ungrateful in the back anyway.¡¯


    Fine. He wants better treatment and I shall give it to him.


    I say: ¡®If things get severely bad, I will appear if you call me. When the situation has gone that bad, I will come help by myself. Come here and I will teach you another magic.¡¯


    I pull off three leaves from my willow bottle and transform them into hair and place them behind the monkey¡¯s head. I say: ¡®When you have no other solutions, use these and they can save you.¡¯


    Sun Wukong grins and stands up after he is rewarded after flouncing about: ¡®As the saying goes, children who know how to cry will get the candies. Old Sun thanks bodhisattva here!¡¯


    Pooh. Shameless!


    I take off the shiny pearl on the little white dragon¡¯s head and transform him into a normal horse. I urge him to not argue against Sun Wukong ever and then I am going to leave here with Huian.


    Yet, before I could even ride on the cloud with Huian, he suddenly falls on the ground with the besom in his arms, crying sorrowly: ¡®Shifu, cultivating in Western Paradise is so painful! When can I clear all the leaves in that black bamboo grove? I am not going to cultivate anymore! Not going to!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    It is time to drive this traitorous disciple out of my Nanhai.

 The Guanyin Temple on Fire

    I watch Huian sitting on the ground. He holds his besom as if this besom is another distressed being. He is making a worried face and waits for my words.


    He is acting like this because he saw that Sun Wukong got  better treatment after he flounced about on the ground. How can a disciple taught by myself be such a disgrace? *Sigh*. This is such a fault!


    I ask: ¡®Is it hard to cultivate in Western Paradise?¡¯


    Huian hears me talking and he is afraid of me unconsciously. He boosts his courage and shamelessly says: ¡®Hard!¡¯


    I cannot beat this kid in front of the public because it will make me look uneducated. I can only act like as if nothing has happened and smile to the Tang monk: ¡®What a coincidence it is. Monk, my disciple can also carry some baggage for you and guard you to Western Paradise for the scriptures as well.¡¯


    Huian sits on the ground with his besom in his arms. He pauses and then stands up immediately. Then he makes himself look like a deity disciple who follows after Nanhai Guanyin bodhisattva. He peacefully says: ¡®I the student have thought about it and I¡¯d better come back to Nanhai with shifu.¡¯


    I grin: ¡®Oh? You don¡¯t dislike the hard cultivation in Western Paradise now?¡¯


    Huian looks righteous: ¡®Not hard, not hard. Doing things for the mercy Guanyin bodhisattva can compensate all sufferings.¡¯


    I ask again: ¡®Oh? You aren¡¯t jealous about that Sun Wukong who can go through eighty-one difficulties and beat eighty-one yokais now?¡¯


    Huian looks determined: ¡®Student is willing to follow shifu. I will never go back to a secular life in my life.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Then, I pull his collar and drag him to the cloud and we come back to that Nanhai.


    As we have come back to Nanhai, I was thinking how I should teach this dude, but I didn¡¯t expect him to look up at me sitting at the bottom of my lotus seat. He makes a ¡°Okay shifu now we are back, and we don¡¯t need to talk, and we can use eye contact to communicate¡± and looks at me.


    I always want to clarify this issue of one-direction misunderstanding of mutual affinity. Yet, I have to find a proper time to explain this to him just like I wanted to find a proper time to explain my gender to him. Also, I am not prepared for talking about this, so I cannot chew him out.


    One day, Huian and me will have the privity which I have with Buddha. For example, if anything problematic has happened, even if no one reveals the details, I will know it must be done by Buddha. I know if he is going to yawn or talk when he opens his mouth. I know what¡¯s in his mind when he sits there silently. Sometimes, I even know what his golden statues are thinking about when I see them in the mortal world.


    I believe that one day in the future when my disciple grows up, he will understand my pains.


    After a few peaceful days in Nanhai, trouble comes to me again.


    Then again, the Tang emperor is the true dragon of the mortal world. He is the owner of a kingdom and the emperor of all. Since he is the emperor, he can meet which deity he wants in his dream as long as he dreams in the right way. He can even meet Jade Emperor, Tathagata, or me. The problem is that he hasn¡¯t seen the real image of the others, but me. In the recent nights, he always comes to seek me in his dream and it really bothers me.


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, my imperial brother is weak. How is he on the way to Western Paradise?¡¯


    Good good good, he is good from head to toe. He rides a dragon and Qitian Dasheng Sun Wukong follows him.


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, what can I do if my imperial brother cannot eat well, dress well, or meet yokais on the way?¡¯


    ¡­¡­Why do you have so many mere trifles!? The way to the scriptures is never going to be plain sailing!


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, I burned many incenses yesterday to you. Please don¡¯t forget to bless him!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡®Guanyin goddess¡­¡­¡¯


    Okay please stop. I am feeling a headache already!


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, I built another temple in Tang for you. Come visit Tang when you have time. Our Tang has good food and fun things to play. We also have all kinds of treasures. You can take whatever you want away¡­¡­¡¯This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡­¡­


    I thought this Tang emperor was a stingy man. Now he seems to be not.


    Then, he may stop bothering me now because he has said what he could say. It will be wrong if he keeps looking for me. Deities aren¡¯t his vassals. If the emperor still has not reached his end of life or throne, he can seek help from deities, but if he bothers deities everyday, he is not mature.


    As expected, I enjoy two days of quiet after that. Then, the soul of that Tang Taizong comes to my Nanhai in his dream. He hurriedly drags my sleeve and asks me:


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, my queen and my concubine started a quarrel. Please tell me who I should help!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡®Guanyin goddess? Ayy, Guanyin goddess, I am really in a hurry! Why do you not respond to me again? Aren¡¯t deities all-knowing¡­¡­¡¯


    His ability to rattle is even more than his imperial brother. No wonder they became sworn brothers. Listening to any of them is the same bother.


    I silently block him and kick him back to Tang.


    Go find Tathagata if you want. He makes the rules and he has more free time than me.


    I just drove away the Tang emperor and my lotus pond sends me voices again. It must be something happened to Heaven.


    I hear someone from the Heavenly Southern Gate crying out: ¡®Guanyin goddess, things have gone wrong! That master who made havoc in Heaven came again!¡¯


    ¡®Guanyin goddess, didn¡¯t you lend Four Time Guardians and Six Ding Six Jia to him to protect the Tang monk on the way?!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    It is just a few days that I didn¡¯t pay attention to this troublesome monkey. He goes to toss over Heaven again.


    Before I begin to go manage what happened, another lotus flower in my lotus pond speaks. The voice belongs to a small deity who manages my temples in the mortal world. He cries out shocked: ¡®Guanyin goddess, things have gone wrong! The Guanyin temple near Black Wind Mountain is on a big fire!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I have a feeling that these two things happened at the same time will have something to do with me.


    As expected, after a while, my disciple comes back and looks at me with ¡°Shifu, you have known all.¡±


    ¡­¡­No, I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t want to know.


    It is probably because Tathagata has lectured him once that he stops using eye contact to communicate with me. He says: ¡®Shifu, I know you have known it. That Sun Wukong stays overnight in a Guanyin Temple and he couldn¡¯t help showing off that kasaya to the leading monk of the temple. Then that leading monk grows greedy in his mind and he wants to take away that kasaya after burning the Tang monk and the monkey to death. Who knows that the troublesome monkey didn¡¯t resign when he knew that monks were going to burn him to death. He didn¡¯t put out the fire but he lent a fire-proof cover from the Heavenly Southern Gate to cover his shifu. Then he blew winds to make the fire bigger and burned the whole temple!¡¯


    ¡­¡­This monkey has too many sins.


    Arguably, I cannot make him easy since he burned my temple. However, that leading monk who worships me has greed and he is a thief who wanted to kill and rob. He failed to harm but was harmed, so I cannot judge this thing because it will make me seem to be the kind of being who only sides with the closer connection and who doesn¡¯t know right and wrong. Yet, if all these humans were burned to death in the temple and I as Guanyin bodhisattva didn¡¯t save them but created so many angry ghosts, how can I administrate my other temples in the future?


    After they died, they will all come to cause trouble in my Nanhai by saying they have worshiped Guanyin throughout their lifetime and died distressingly just because they had a greedy leading monk. They will say Guanyin bodhisattva is cruel and I will have to compensate for these sins of several humans¡¯ lifetimes.


    I don¡¯t have other solutions but telling that small deity to let go the fire but don¡¯t let it kill anyone in the temple.


    I say to myself that I have lots of temples in the mortal world, but I cannot oversee every single one of them. What a sin I have!


    I say to Huian: ¡®Later when you are enlightened and assigned to be a buddha who has temples in the mortal world, administrate these temples carefully and don¡¯t let this situation happen to you.¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®I don¡¯t need temples. Just add a seat near shifu¡¯s statues and I can guard Guanyin temples everyday to avoid this from happening.¡¯


    It is easy to say but things will not be this easy. It is like a human child, no matter how dependent he was when he was a kid, he will have to have his own family in the future unless he doesn¡¯t become a buddha in his lifetime and stays in my Nanhai, living on my extra incenses.


    No matter how useless my disciple is, I as the Guanyin bodhisattva will not watch him starving to death.


    I say to myself: Probably this Sun Wukong will go on after he burned the temple. He may pack up and just leave. Then, I will have some peace.


    Yet, the next day comes and the sun rises. A shout from the black bamboo grove of Sun Wukong comes to me: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, you harmed me again! My shifu met your temple on the way and you enjoy the worship of humans and let that black bear yokai living next to the temple! Now he stole the kasaya of my shifu! Give it back to me!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Say that again?


    Didn¡¯t you blow the fire bigger? Didn¡¯t the leading monk take away the kasaya? Where does this black bear yokai come from?


    Were you born from troubles? How can you be so good at causing trouble? Big troubles can reproduce smaller troubles. Smaller troubles can reproduce more troubles. A nest of troubles after a nest of troubles.


    I split my attention and look back into the history. This monkey¡¯s fire attracted a nearby yokai. This yokai saw this kasaya shining in the fire so it stole it.


    He even looks for me for such a little thing! Now he is really smart! He cannot fight against that yokai and he knows how to deceive me!


    You know that black bear yokai stole the kasaya because you blew the fire bigger. You made the fire bigger and caused another trouble. Do you think it was me who blew the fire to attract this yokai?!


    Actually, you just want to find me troubles right?


    The monkey sees that I didn¡¯t rebuke him, so he becomes more unbridled. He disregards the class difference and blackmails me.


    He leaps and lands on my lotus seat. He stretches out his hand and says rascally: ¡®It must be you who told that black bear yokai to steal the kasaya. Give the kasaya back to me. Give it back to me.¡¯


    ¡­¡­Your shifu¡¯s kasaya was given by me to him in the past.


    I look at his open palms and I hate myself for not being able to chop his hands off.

 Becoming a Yokai Legally

    I look at Sun Wukong¡¯s palms and flick his palms away. I say: ¡®Oh? Didn¡¯t you look prestigious when you lent that fire-proof cover in the Heavenly Southern Gate? You went to show off the treasure in front of a villain and caused him to grow greedy, and you blew the fire bigger. How could such a powerful Qitian Dasheng be incapable of beating a black bear yokai thief?¡¯


    He realizes that I know the past and the future and the details of this incident. He changes his face immediately and chuckles: ¡®Good bodhisattva, I was joking. My shifu¡¯s kasaya was stolen by that black bear. He said if I can¡¯t get the kasaya back, he will cast that headache spell to kill me. Didn¡¯t you say that you will come and help me if I am in a hopeless situation? Now I am in this hopeless situation. If I cannot find that kasaya, my shifu will cast that spell.¡¯


    I remind him: ¡®I know that spell as well.¡¯


    Sun Wukong gets hasty and says: ¡®You are the reasonable one unlike him. Also, that is your temple. I thought that leading monk was a good guy because he worshiped you, so I showed the kasaya to him. Who knows that you don¡¯t have a requirement for your believers and you let such a person worship you. Do you need incense so desperatly that you blessed this leading monk to live to over two-hundred years?¡¯


    ¡­¡­This monkey¡¯s mouth needs a beating.


    Yes this old monk lived long but it wasn¡¯t me. Can¡¯t you allow him to live well and live long by himself?


    I say: ¡®We the buddhas are willing to save anyone who has kindness in their mind. Although the old monk was greedy about your shifu¡¯s kasaya, he also has done many good deeds. Now he has smashed himself on a wall and you are here to pick my fault again? I have countless believers in the mortal world. Which one is a perfect one? Do you not allow those imperfect to worship you or give them a chance to correct themselves?¡¯


    Sun Wukong is lectured once by me and he swallows back his words, but he doesn¡¯t feel reconciled and mutters: ¡®That old monk ganged up with the yokai. You know he has lived for two-hundred and seventy years. He must have learned a way to lengthen his lifetime. Also, he has the sin of killing. He is not someone who just has a few shortcomings. He is not a good guy at all. He deserves death!¡¯


    I sneer: ¡®My Sun Dasheng, you are really the disciple of the scriptures taker now. Weren¡¯t you a yokai in the past? The number of humans you killed is probably more than the rice grains that old monk has eaten! Shouldn¡¯t you die beneath the Five Element Mountain and never be freed?¡¯


    It is easy to fool this monkey but the things behind my words aren¡¯t easy.


    According to Western Paradise, everything is equal. All yokais and humans can cultivate legally. At the beginning, Xian, buddhas, and Daoists all cultivated to rank up. There is no reason to allow humans to cultivate and ban yokais from cultivation. Yet, yokais are different from humans. Humans cultivate to become Xian because they do good deeds. Yokais cultivate to be Xian because they absorb the essence of nature in the wild.


    There are always people who say that yokais who eat humans do not deserve to achieve Dao and those who have eaten humans deserve death. Yet, as we change our perspective, the structure of the food chain is not our business. We allow humans to eat animals so how come animal yokais cannot eat humans? This is not fair. Although buddhas don¡¯t eat meat, we don¡¯t kill those who eat meat. As a result, we cannot ignore the fact that yokais eat humans, but we cannot regulate this.


    Should we just take those yokais to Western Paradise to work? How many yokais will there be? They will be immortal here and Western Paradise will explode one day due to overpopulation.


    Also, the East and the West have different rules. Beings who can go to Western Paradise should have done an extraordinary big good deed. We assign a position to those who have loving-kindness. Heaven accepts those who have led troops in wars and who killed all residents in a conquered city. Jade Emperor seeks those who are good at wars or those who are good at causing political conflicts to be his generals or his employees.


    As a result, Tathagata colludes with Jade Emperor and comes up with an evil method. They let that Sun Wukong kill any yokais on his way to Western Paradise. If the yokai has potential, they will bring it to Heaven. If it doesn¡¯t have potential, they will watch Sun Wukong killing it. Then, the sin of killing will not be landed on either Western Paradise or Heaven. No one can judge us because this monkey likes to kill. He is a yokai anyway. A yokai killing other yokais is none of our business.


    I think this method is evil. I know nothing good will happen when Tathagata and Jade Emperor get together. I don¡¯t know what else they will come up with. Now this thing has become my responsibility.


    *Sigh* Monkey, you are still too young!


    I say to that monkey kindly: ¡®Don¡¯t beat or kill yokais in the future as you want to. You will have to pay for those killings in the future. If you are violent toward anyone you see, you will be a tool for others.¡¯


    However, that monkey doesn¡¯t listen to me and he says: ¡®Who dares stop my way to the scriptures? I will not make him easy! Bodhisattva, you are feeling pity for that black bear who stole the kasaya for you, aren¡¯t you? You are afraid that I will kill him!¡¯


    *Sigh* Only because you have such a personality, you have become the tool for others!


    All my kindness is treated like trash by him. I don¡¯t want to care for him anymore. I will let him beat and kill. This thing is calculated by Tathagata and Jade Emperor together. Even when he kills, Heaven will not punish him any. Heaven will even reward him. This looks like a good deal.


    That Sun Wukong pulls my sleeve and says: ¡®Bodhisattva, my shifu is waiting for me in the temple to bring that kasaya back! Come with me and surrender that black bear yokai and I will not bother your cultivation!¡¯The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I have no other solution but to go with him to take down that black bear yokai. My disciple hurries to follow with his besom in his arms as he hears that we can beat a yokai now. After two steps, he hurries back to find his rod and walks after Sun Wukong happily.


    Sun Wukong looks back and sees Huian behind. He is confused: ¡®Bodhisattva, has your disciple started weaning? Why does he follow you everywhere you go?¡¯


    I say to myself that he is coming to look for a fight. He thinks he can add a few hits if Sun Wukong doesn¡¯t kill the yokai.


    I look back at Huian and I truly believe that he is really happy right now, but Sun Wukong says to me: ¡®Never mind him coming with us, he is making this despondent face. Do I owe him?¡¯


    I check Huian again and I think he is not only very excited today, but also his eyes are shiny. How did Sun Wukong think he was not happy?


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Nonsense. My disciple is obviously happy. If you couldn¡¯t tell that, then there must be something wrong with your eyes.¡¯


    Sun Wukong glares his Eye of Truth big at Huian for a while and he asks dejectedly: ¡®How could you tell that from him?¡¯


    I say: ¡®See, his eyes are bigger than usual by one millimeter. If you look close enough, you can find that the corners of his mouth are raised a tiny little angle although they still look like a straight line. These have proved that Huian is happy and actually very happy.¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He says to me: ¡®Bodhisattva, being his shifu is a hardship, isn¡¯t it?¡¯


    Nonsense. I get along well with my disciple. Do not cause trouble, monkey.


    I say: ¡®You the troublemaker monkey don¡¯t believe me, do you? I will let Huian prove this.¡¯ Therefore, I look back and ask Huian: ¡®Huian, shifu is taking you to a gang fight. Are you happy?¡¯


    Huian holds his black rod in his arms and says: ¡®Can I kill them?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Be satiable. Having a gang fight to join is enough. Why do you ask for so much?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®Yes I am happy as long as I can fight. Who said I was not happy?¡¯


    I turn to Sun Wukong: ¡®See? My disciple is happy. He is not only very happy, but also he almost smiles.¡¯


    I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with Sun Wukong but he hits himself with his cudgel after our conversation and becomes quiet.


    I say to Huian: ¡®People in the world always misunderstand you, but that¡¯s okay. Shifu understands you.¡¯


    We appreciate each other, and our relationship is tougher than a gold bar. It is only that Sun Wukong is hitting his stone head with his cudgel as if he was jarred by something. Poor kid, he might have been pounded silly by the Five Element Mountain and even today he hasn¡¯t recovered.


    We arrive at the bottom of the Black Wind Mountain and we are looking for the Black Wind Cave in the mountain. On the way in front of the hillside, a Daoist walks to us.


    The Daoist is holding a transparent plate on which there are two Xiandan (Daoist elixir). He is walking forward and bumps into Sun Wukong.


    Sun Wukong staggers a little and that Daoist doesn¡¯t stand still either. He immediately covers his plate and checks if his Xiandan has dropped or not. Then he is relieved.


    Sun Wukong was bumped against and he is in a daze. Then he checks the face of this Daoist and picks up his cudgel at him straightly. He is aiming at the head of that Daoist.


    Based on Sun Wukong¡¯s power, this Daoist wouldn¡¯t even have time to save himself from having his brain dashed out by the stoke. Also, he was solely looking at his Xiandan.


    However, Huian sees this and he doesn¡¯t want this to happen. He hasn¡¯t fought any yokai but Sun Wukong has been fighting against yokais for a few days. Huian is not happy so he steps out to stop Sun Wukong.


    As a result, that plate-protecting Daoist is left behind, and my disciple goes into the fight against Sun Wukong.


    The Daoist holds his small plate in his arms as if that is his child. He opens his eyes big at the fighting between Sun Wukong and Huian.


    Sun Wukong is anxious and says: ¡®Little Xingzhe (Buddhist ascetic), what annoyed you again? Why are you always hitting me?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®My shifu has said that he brought me to gang fights. You want to go solo, so you deserve these hits.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Sun Wukong hurries and says: ¡®What gang fight are you talking about? Put your gang fight away and let Old Sun kill this yokai Daoist first!¡¯


    Huian doesn¡¯t listen to others¡¯ words. He has expressed his will to be a part of gang fights, but Sun Wukong wants to solo this Daoist. He decides to talk no more and keeps fighting against Sun Wukong.


    Sun Wukong gets mad and jumps: ¡®What a spoiled kid! I talked, and you didn¡¯t listen! You aren¡¯t saying anything either just like a dummy!¡¯


    *Sigh*. Is Huian the kind of person who you ask him to talk and he will talk? He will not talk if he doesn¡¯t want to even if you are going to kill him.


    You will never know that Huian seldom gets a chance to fight against any yokai since he was born. Every yokai he sees is a treasure to him. He is not like you who was born in the wild and who fight yokais commonly.


    They are fighting and that Daoist in white sees me. He is surprised and says: ¡®Ah! Guanyin sister!¡¯


    ¡­¡­????


    Huian and Sun Wukong were in the fight, but they are shocked and paused after the Daoist¡¯s words. They turn to look at us.


    Lingxu Daoren (The Daoist title of this Daoist) bounces to pull my sleeve with his Xiandan in his arms: ¡®We have met before. Don¡¯t you remember me? Ayy, I was not matured and offended bodhisattva several hundreds of years ago. After that day when bodhisattva preached me, although I was first scared away, I think you are right after my reflection! After that, I gave up taking the imperial examination and I stayed home to apprehend and seek the truth of the world. At the end, I gave up all my ordinary knowledge and began to cultivate!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I still haven¡¯t recalled who he is.


    Several hundreds of years ago?


    When?


    He says: ¡®I couldn¡¯t find any Buddhist scriptures to study, so I cultivated after Daoism, but those Daoist called me dishonest. After a few thoughts, I think your words have more truth than theirs, so I left the Daoist temple to cultivate with yokais in the wild. Now I have become a small Xian and have made friends with many yokais!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Who are you anyway?!


    He says again: ¡®I was in a temple in Tang recently and found out that Tang Emperor built the Guanyin statue based on the real image of Guanyin. Then I realized that you weren¡¯t lying to me. You are the Guanyin bodhisattva!¡¯


    ¡­¡­I think I have known who he is.


    Aren¡¯t you that pendant who was horrified when I preached and was crying out ¡°Help me! There is a madman¡± and ran away?


    Isn¡¯t he the one who thought I was gay after I showed him my gender feature to emancipate his mind in order to prove to him the truth?


    ¡­¡­Oh my.


    The past pendant and current Daoist pulls my sleeve and gives me a satisfied smile: ¡®I know I can see you again if I cultivate hard enough! I have a friend called black bear yokai and I told him how nice Buddha and Guanyin are. Then he helped a group of monks build a Guanyin temple! Ayy, unfortunately it was burned a few days ago or I could have taken you to visit it, but it is great that you came. He just got a beautiful kasaya yesterday! Let me take you to see it!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Sun Wukong glares his eyes big at that Daoist and then he looks at me. His body suddenly shivers.


    Huian also glares his eyes big at me and then at that Daoist. A ray of happiness appears on his face.


    How well I have known him. Just by one glance, I know his face is saying¡ª


    More yokais to beat? I¡¯M LOVING IT!

 The Ditzy Daoist and the Black Bear Yokai

    I feel this situation is a little dangerous.


    Every bit of Sun Wukong¡¯s face is saying: Guanyin has gone too far to collude with yokais; Sure enough you guys planned to steal that kasaya and I even trusted you; there is not one single good guy in deities.


    Although Huian is not talking, I know he is thinking: I am going to beat this yokai Daoist and then beat that black bear yokai. If shifu doesn¡¯t get mad after that, I will also go into the gang fight among their followers.


    As for that little Daoist, he is more trouble. When I preached to him in the past, I didn¡¯t have a disciple so I could be easygoing. Now I am afraid that if he tells people that I have shown him my dick to lecture him, I will be in trouble.


    My disciple never learns to be good. I don¡¯t want him to be specialized in learning bad after knowing this and then flub every future preach!


    I think that since this little Daoist is a time bomb, I should be careful to not let him speak that out and close his mouth.


    *Sigh*, why did I want to seek this trouble? I should have let Sun Wukong kill him.


    Now if he doesn¡¯t die here, he will one day uncover my dark history in front of these two disobedient kids. It is not a dark history technically, but these two spoiled kids of mine can spread their twisted facts easily.


    I have said it when I met prime minister Xiao that it is fine if I walk naked but the Heavenly King Li may not be able to accept his son walks naked as well.


    Now I am the shifu of him. Even though I insist that I have done it right, but if the Heavenly King Li hears about it or he finds out that his son preaches to people in the way I did, he will probably fall in a swoon and not wake up again.


    I was thinking and Sun Wukong walks out and pulls another sleeve of mine. He says: ¡®Let¡¯s talk elsewhere. Let¡¯s talk elsewhere. Little Xingzhe, don¡¯t you want to discuss some Buddhist ideas with him?¡¯


    After that, he drags me away.


    Sun Wukong detours to the back of the hillside and says: ¡®Bodhisattva, you must not have known that this Daoist was in a meeting with that black bear yokai and a white snake yokai. I killed that white snake yokai after their talk, but this Daoist doesn¡¯t know it.¡¯


    I say: ¡®You have heard him saying that he has a lot of yokai friends in the mountain.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®That black bear yokai stole my kasaya. This Daoist must be the companion! Let me kill this Daoist first and we shall look for that black bear yokai after!¡¯


    I finally stop him: ¡®Why are you going to kill again? You have seen that there is a fate between I and the little Daoist. It was my wisdom that enlightened him to be a Xian, although he has gone to Daoism while I am in Buddhism. He cultivates in the right way and he hasn¡¯t eaten any humans. He also holds Buddhist conferences with his frien¡­¡­ other yokais. He has a fate with Buddhism.¡¯


    Sun Wukong gets mad: ¡®Your words cause me a headache! How can you be more talkative than my shifu? Listen, one thud to kill all is the best solution!¡¯


    ¡­¡­kill kill kill, you only know to kill!


    Go ahead and I am not going to care.


    He sees that I am going back to Nanhai with Huian and he is afraid that without my help he will not be able to get the kasaya back and will be casted the headache spell by his shifu. He jumps and cracks some rocks, chasing after us: ¡®Bodhisattva, please forgive me. I am used to fighting and killing and I don¡¯t know other things. Please feel pity for my stone head and don¡¯t leave me behind.¡¯


    I ask him: ¡®Tell me what you want.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®If bodhisattva says this Daoist cannot die, I will not beat him. How about this? Let little brother Huian hold this Daoist here and we transform to that Daoist¡¯s looking to search for the black bear yokai. He always hides in the cave that I couldn¡¯t fight him. As soon as he opens the gate, I will teach him a lesson!¡¯


    I cannot change his mind and I say to him: ¡®I will be Lingxu Xianren (the Daoist), and you will be the Xiandan on the plate. Just do some actions in his stomach after that black bear yokai eats the Xiandan. This will make him obedient. What do you think?¡¯The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    Sun Wukong is happy and says: ¡®Good good good! Let¡¯s do it!¡¯


    I inwardly call Huian in a distant: ¡®Hold that Daoist back. We will be back soon.¡¯


    Just after my order, I hear Huian talking to that Daoist: ¡®Chatting is not fun. Let¡¯s fight.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I also hear that Lingxu Daoren says: ¡®Ayy, fighting or killing is not good¡­¡­Ayyy? Why are you hitting my head? Why are you so different from your shifu?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®What is the difference? I am enlightening you. If you don¡¯t want to miss this chance, just fight me with your weapon.¡¯


    Lingxu Daoren feels wronged and says: ¡®A fight can enlighten me?¡¯


    Huian says: ¡®Yes. One fight and you will not fall into the nether world ever.¡¯


    My disciple clearly has a more mysterious way of preaching!


    My original thought was to let him educate this Lingxu Daoren who plays with yokais all day long with our Buddhist power, but Huian only has fighting on his mind. He totally abandons the basic Buddhist rule of talk first and then fight.


    Now bringing back the kasaya is more important and we don¡¯t have time to watch how Huian is preaching. I transform to Lingxiao Daoren¡¯s looking with a glass plate in my hands. Sun Wukong transforms to a Xiandan on the plate and we go to knock on that cave gate together.


    A small yokai of the Black Wind Cave opens the gate right after he recognizes me as a friend of his king. He says: ¡®Daozhang (A respectful way to address a Daoist), a few days ago that monkey killed the old monk in the Guanyin temple and beat our white snake king to death. Now our king has lost two friends in a row. How sad he is!¡¯


    Before I can say anything, that black bear yokai rushes out from the cave. His ink-black body hair makes him look like a big chunk of coal. A pair of black eyes are flashing with tears. He reached out his furry bear palms to hug me and cries: ¡®Dear friend! Little White and the old man have been killed by that Sun Wukong! He even claims to beat me in front of the cave!¡¯


    I don¡¯t know what to say and I recall the way this Daoist talks. He is really the ditzy kind, so I comfort him: ¡®Don¡¯t worry. It is okay. Sun Wukong cannot compete against you.¡¯


    The black bear yokai wipes his tears and says: ¡®Although he cannot kill me, I cannot kill him either. How inhumane that monkey is! I was hungry during the fight and he wouldn¡¯t let me go back to eat first! He scares me everyday at the gate and I cannot even eat well!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    You really like to eat.


    The black bear yokai aggrievedly says: ¡®I have told him that I would go back to the fight after I ate, but he didn¡¯t listen to me. Why didn¡¯t he want to go back and eat as well? We could fight again with a full belly. He insisted on having me fighting with a hungry belly. He said that he never acted like me when he was under the Five Element Mountain for five-hundred years. He is a monkey and I am a bear; how can we be the same?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I have no choice but to say: ¡®Don¡¯t be too stubborn. If this monkey bothers you everyday, are you going to be not able to eat well everyday? Why don¡¯t you return the kasaya?¡¯


    The black bear yokai says: ¡®Ayyy, I don¡¯t want to hide from you. I was greedy, so I took this kasaya. You always teach us how good Buddhism is, but I don¡¯t understand those thingies. Everytime in the meeting, it is you and white snake discussing about Buddhism and I am like a countryman who cannot join the elite talk. I think if I have this kasaya, I will be an upper class yokai and I will be able to join your discussion. Who knows that I can cause such trouble?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    You are really cute.


    Wait a minute. Your character setting is not what I know from other bear yokais.


    I am walking with him into the cave and he puffs his belly with madness: ¡®This monkey is really bad. I have never seen such an evil yokai! I am so mad. I am really going mad.¡¯


    What else can I say?


    I have no choice but to say: ¡®I refined this Xiandan especially for you. It can cure all unhappiness. I am sure you will be happy after one Xiandan.¡¯


    The black bear yokai looks at me and he swallows two Xiandan with his appreciating tears: ¡®Dear friend, you treat me so nice!¡¯


    Before he can finish his words, Sun Wukong is causing trouble in his stomach. The black bear yokai rolls on the ground because of the pain. He looks at me aggrievedly: ¡®What can I do? I feel pain in my stomach! Do you have other Xiandan to cure my stomachache?¡¯


    ¡­¡­At this time, you are still concerned about food?


    Sun Wukong shouts in his stomach: ¡®Black bear yokai! If you don¡¯t return my shifu¡¯s kasaya, I will beat a hole out in your stomach!¡¯


    The black bear yokai is shocked and gets closer to me: ¡®Dear friend, that monkey is in my stomach! What can I do!¡¯


    ¡­¡­You still haven¡¯t realized that I am not your dear friend?


    Certainly, having many yokais is not good because they don¡¯t have a brain.


    In order to let him understand the situation faster, I transform to my original image. I say to him: ¡®I am not your dear friend. I cannot help you either unless you return the kasaya to Sun Wukong. If he opens a hole in your stomach, your years of cultivation will be wasted.¡¯


    The black bear finally understands the situation and he is obviously in pain, covering his belly. He hurries and calls his followers: ¡®Go, go bring that kasaya here! Give it to them!¡¯


    Sun Wukong is not coming out from his stomach without seeing the kasaya. Finally, a small yokai gives the kasaya to me.


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Monkey, come out. The kasaya is back.¡¯


    Sun Wukong gets out from black bear yokai¡¯s stomach and he thuds at the head of the black bear yokai right after. He sneers: ¡®I will kill you the black bear who stole the kasaya! Today I will make your head broken, your blood flowing out, your chest open and your stomach bursted! I will then skin your bear body to sew clothes for my shifu and stir fry your bear palm to fill my teeth gaps!¡¯


    At this moment, a happy voice comes from outside. Obviously, it is that ditzy Daoist coming back: ¡®Big black! You wouldn¡¯t know who I just met! I just met Guanyin bodhisattva! Bodhisattva is so nice that he let his disciple enlighten me!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Time seems to be thickened in a flash.


    I look at Sun Wukong¡¯s cudgel up high in the air and look at the black bear being tortured on the ground, and then look at the ditzy Daoist who bounces in from the gate. I have a terrible feeling.

 The Life-threatening Headache Spell

    That black bear yokai knows he is going to die soon and he reacts fast to evade Sun Wukong¡¯s cudgel. He rolls at a thunder speed and runs to his companion. The ditzy Daoist looks at me and looks at the black bear yokai and then looks at the cudgel-raising Sun Wukong. He immediately stands in front of his friend and says: ¡®Don¡¯t fight. Let¡¯s be friends¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He was going to land his cudgel on them but he freezes after the Daoist¡¯s words.


    The little Daoist hurries to say to his black bear yokai: ¡®How did you come to fight?¡¯


    The black bear yokai takes out his weapon and points at Sun Wukong angrily: ¡®This vixenish monkey is going to harm me. He took back the kasaya and then tries to beat me!¡¯


    I thought there was no way to help this situation get better and we could only fight and kill those who shall not live and lame those who shall not communicate.


    Sun Wukong, what a sinful being you are!


    Who expected that this ditzy Daoist says: ¡®No, don¡¯t misunderstand bodhisattva. Their beating will enlighten you!¡¯


    ¡­¡­???


    This ditzy person is not a usual ditzy person. He is absolutely different from those other ditzy people!


    The little Daoist points at the bump on his head and says: ¡®I was in a Buddhist conversation with Huian, the first disciple of Guanyin bodhisattva. He has told me all: when a buddha is beating you, he is enlightening you. After a beating, you will not fall to the nether world ever! Look at me, I have endured every hit and he said he had finished enlightening me. Now if I die, I will not fall to the nether world.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    No wonder he is freed by Huian so early. It must be that Huian is mad at him not fighting back no matter how hard he hit him, so he drove him away.


    The black bear yokai opens his round black eyes to look at me and his ditzy dear friend and the cudgel-raising Sun Wukong. He seems to have put some trust in his dear friend¡¯s words: ¡®Really?¡¯


    The ditzy Daoist says confidently: ¡®Really! Bodhisattva is nice. They will not cheat me.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I cannot comment on this, because our atmosphere in Western Paradise has gone the wrong way which makes us look like a pyramid selling organization.


    That black bear looks at us one after one with his big round eyes. He thinks for a while and says: ¡®Okay! Beat me and I will not fight back!¡¯


    For a guy like Sun Wukong, if you beg him to not beat you, he may not listen, but if you sit here and wait for his hits, he will not beat you.


    If he beats you after you ask him to, he will feel face-losing.


    The black bear sees that Sun Wukong is annoyed and asks the little Daoist: ¡®Why doesn¡¯t he beat me now? Did I miss the chance to be enlightened?¡¯Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    The little Daoist says regretfully: ¡®That is so unfortunate!¡¯


    At this time, Huian enters the cave with a despondent face. He is not in a good mood. Those small yokais who dared to stop him have been hit away by his rod.


    Huian sees me and says stuffily: ¡®Shifu.¡¯


    I ask: ¡®How was your talk with Xingxu Daoren?¡¯


    Huian says with a long face: ¡®Hehe.¡¯


    He is not happy because there was no yokai for him to beat.


    The black bear yokai gets angry again since he lost the kasaya and Sun Wukong doesn¡¯t beat him, and two of his friends just died and he couldn¡¯t think normally: ¡®No! No! This is unfair! No one can leave here today!¡¯


    Huian sees that he can beat a yokai now and his eyes shine. He picks up his rod and goes into the fight with that black bear.


    Once they start the fight, they go up in the air. They are fighting in the air.


    The little Daoist is on the ground and looking up anxiously: ¡®Ah! What can I do? If Big Black offends the disciple of bodhisattva, no one is going to release him!¡¯


    I remind him kindly: ¡®We release souls who have died. We use the word ¡°enlighten¡± when we are dealing with living beings.¡¯


    The little Daoist nods bookishly: ¡®Bodhisattva, you must not have known that my brain used to work excellently when I wasn¡¯t a Xian. I could memorize everything after I read them once. But now my brain is not working that well because I was too old when I finally became a Xian. My brain is already rusted.¡¯


    After that, he carefreely comforts himself: ¡®I finally have become a Xian. Otherwise, I would have died.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This is why we should cultivate when we were little. *Sigh*.


    I look at his face. He looks nice and his skin is young like a youth. Since he has mastered how to control his appearance, he shouldn¡¯t have a low cultivation.


    It is probably that smart people cannot become Xian easily. After they become silly and let go of things, they can be a Xian.


    It has been a whole morning in which my disciple Huian has been fighting the black bear. Sun Wukong has brought back the kasaya to his shifu already. These two are still fighting in the air.


    As they are fighting, the black bear yokai suddenly cries out: ¡®It is time to eat! I am going to eat!¡¯


    Then, he tumbles from the clouds and he is not fighting Huian. He swaggers to eat in the cave.


    Huian hasn¡¯t exercised his power for a long time. He scarcely got this chance and he doesn¡¯t want to let it go; he still wants to fight. However, the black bear doesn¡¯t fight back no matter how hard he hits him.


    This chagrins my disciple and he looks up at me eagerly.


    He finally meets some yokais who he can beat but they don¡¯t fight him.


    I feel insecure when he looks at me. I feel pity for a while and ask that black bear: ¡®What do you want?¡¯


    The black bear waves his hand and says angrily: ¡®I don¡¯t believe your words. You are all here to bully me and my dear friend because our brains don¡¯t work well!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Is that my fault?


    The ditzy Daoist misunderstood us first.


    Who let you have a useless brain?


    The black bear yokai stares at Sun Wukong and then at me. He reaches his arms out and points at the golden headband on top of Sun Wukong¡¯s head: ¡®Unless you give one of that on his head! Let me wear a Buddhist treasure on my head or I will not believe your words!¡¯


    ¡­¡­Wait a minute. What did you say you wanted to wear?


    Sun Wukong didn¡¯t get it at first. He was in a daze. He touches the life-threatening golden headband unconsciously and says: ¡®What did you want?¡¯


    The black bear yokai says loudly: ¡®The treasure on your head! If Guanyin bodhisattva puts one of them on me as well, I will listen to his words no matter what!¡¯


    Sun Wukong unbelievably asks again: ¡®You want this tight headband? The tight headband on my head?¡¯


    The black bear yokai raises his head and akimbo with his furry palms. He snorts: ¡®Now you are loath? Buddhists are so stingy! You just don¡¯t want to enlighten me!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I hear Sun Wukong is tittering there. He doesn¡¯t even hide his laugh.


    These yokais in the mountains are terrific.


    I have seen yokais, demons, ghosts, monsters, deities, and buddhas who want to own Qitian Dasheng¡¯s golden cudgel; you are the first one to seek the life-threatening headband on his head. To be honest, I truly admire you.


    The black bear glares his black shiny eyes big and opens his bear palms in front of me. He is not giving me a way back and he shouts to press me for an answer: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, just tell me. Do you give me this shiny treasure or not!?¡¯


    ¡®If you don¡¯t give me, I will call all my yokai friends and we will march to Western Paradise to beat Tathagata!¡¯

 The Cherish Black Bear in Nanhai

    That black bear yokai glares his eyes large at me. There is no sign that he is going to take back his palms. He forcibly asks me: ''Do you give me or not?''


    I am stunned by him for a while and then I point at the headband on top of Sun Wukong''s head: ''Do you want this on your head? You have to keep in mind that once this thing has been owned, it will not be given to the second person.''


    The black bear yokai pats his belly and says: ''I want it. I want it!''


    Sun Wukong is smiling malevolently aside: ''Bodhisattva, just give him one since he is so eager to accept the precepts.''


    You made it sound easy, monkey. Yes I have three of these golden tight headbands, but they aren''t reusable and they are Buddhist treasures. There is no way I can take off one from a yokai''s head and give it to another yokai. Since that headband will grow roots into the brain once the spell is cast, it will not be clean if another yokai uses it. It is like rooting in a brain and then into another brain.


    Also, reusing these will make our Western Paradise look stingy.


    If this black bear yokai is not qualified to be tamed, I will waste a treasure. Also, there will be more yokais on the way to Western Paradise. We only have a limited number of seats open to them. I would rather pick some smart yokais.


    This black bear is so stupid. He will be easily fooled by other indecent yokais with no doubt.


    I was thinking about this, and Huian on the other hand is looking up at me with his blinking wet eyes. He is no different from a kid who just sees a new toy. He just stands aside well-behaved with his yokai-surrending rod in his hands, staring at me.


    ......Should I tame this black bear back home and let Huian beat him for fun everyday?


    I say: ''Well, I can give you one if you really want it. However, the preconditions are......Are you willing to join Buddhism and come with me to Nanhai to cultivate for the final enlightenment? You will never be able to eat humans again. You will need to obey all the precepts and never regret your choice today.''


    The black bear yokai says: ''Yes! I am willing to cultivate after bodhisattva toward the final enlightenment!''


    I: ''I do not hide anything from you. This headband cannot be taken off once you put it on. I can take it off but I will not. Do you still--''


    Before I can finish my sentence, the big black bear hurriedly says: ''Yes! I am willing to wear it forever!''


    ......


    The result of interrupting others'' talk is that you will never know what a scary situation you are going to be in, in time.


    The little daoist says with extreme excitement: ''Big black! Bodhisattva is going to carry you to the final enlightenment! You will be living in Nanhai as an upper class yokai in the future!''


    The black bear yokai also grabs his sleeves excitedly: ''Come visit me often then!''


    The little daoist keeps nodding his head: ''I will go to see you!''


    ......No, please do not come. I am horrified at the synergy when you silly two get together.


    I hand a golden headband to Huian. The black bear makes a serious look and he is on the ground kneeling sincerely. His black round eyes flash with impressed lights at the headband approaching him. He nervously holds onto the little daoist''s sleeve and says: ''I will be a yokai with a headband as well. Not only Qitian Dasheng has one, I have one as well. I will be an upper class yokai today.''


    ......


    Huian harnesses the headband on the black bear and after that this headband cannot be taken off anymore. Sun Wukong rolls his eyes and says to me: ''Bodhisattva, why don''t you cast the spell to tighten the headband?''


    I cast the spell but the black bear still looks satisfied and Sun Wukong covers his head painfully and struggles on the ground. He cries out: ''Bodhisattva! Wrong spell! Wrong spell!''


    I hurry to stop. I have said it that I couldn''t tell the difference between these three headbands. They look too similar.


    It is like listening to music. Two songs have similar tunes and you just naturally mix them together as you follow along. You can only try to recall but you will always mix them.


    Finally I have recalled the spell for the headband on the black bear and I begin to cast it. An extreme pain occurs on the black bear''s head so he covers his head and struggles on the ground, screaming: ''Too tight! Too tight!''


    I say to myself: this headband is going to be tighter; there is no way back. However, the black bear rolls and pauses, and Sun Wukong cries out again on the ground rolling: ''Wrong spell again! Wrong spell again!''


    ......


    In case I will cast more wrong spells, I just pause casting.


    It was really the monkey rolling and then the black bear rolling. They rolled together as well at the end.


    Finally I have cast the right one, and Sun Wukong stands up trembling. He looks at me as if I was an invincible enemy and walks away leaning by a wall. He says goodbye to me while he is walking away: ''Thanks for coming to help me, bodhisattva. Old Sun is going back to protect shifu......''


    After that, his tired figure disappears from my sight.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    I felt much sympathy for him but once I think that he will cause me trouble again, I have no good mood left. I wanted to cast the headache spell again.


    After Sun Wukong left, the big black bear is still saying goodbye to the daoist. They hold their hands together with tears in their eyes. They look at each other. What a moving scene.


    The big black bear says: ''Lingxu, I haven''t had the Xiandan you gifted me last time. I keep it in the corner under my bed. I want to save it for the most royalest follower of mine......''


    The small yokai hears that his king is going to give him the Xiandan made by Xingxuzi (Another way of calling the daoist), and he runs out of the cave gate without looking back as if something deadly is chasing behind. He left no shadows behind and probably he is not coming back.


    I recall that the black bear didn''t think we were fake after he felt pain after eating the fake Xiandan. This shall be his daily life: Eat Xiandan randomly made by his dear friend; Feel pain; Ask for help; Eat another Xiandan randomly made by his dear friend......


    No wonder his brain is not working well.


    It is probably that he has had too much Xiandan and they have poisoned his brain to be dumb.


    The little daoist is wiping his tears and says: ''You probably won''t have anything good to eat when you arrive at Nanhai. I will make more Xiandan for you at that time......''


    ......Okay, this black bear will be beaten for fun by Huian once I take him back. Since he can tank, he can eat Xiandan as well.


    It took me an effort to drag the big black bear away from the little daoist. With the headband on his head, he looks back at his dear friend every single step he walks. The scene of a furry big bear wiping his tears and saying goodbye to the little daoist is moving.


    From now on, the daily life in my black bamboo grove has become like this.


    I open my eyes in the morning and hear my disciple saying: ''Don''t you dare stop and take my attack!''


    Then, I watch the black bear yokai covering his head running out of black bamboo grove and circling around my lotus pond. He cries out: ''Huian Xingzhe, please don''t beat me! Please don''t beat me!''


    Huian is standing beside the lotus pond and straightens up his rod, making a formal salute to the black bear yokai. He bows and says: ''I the monk am enlightening you.''


    The black bear yokai says: ''You enlightened me yesterday. The bump on my head hasn''t gone down. Why are you going to enlighten me again now?''


    Huian stands seriously and looks at him: ''You ate too many living creatures in the mortal world. You have committed a big crime. Enlightening you will take more effort than that of others.''


    I: ''......''


    That black bear has begun to doubt if Huian''s words are true no matter how bad his brain is after being chased and beaten for a long time, but he also has heard that Buddhists do not lie and now he is confused. He doesn''t know what is right and what is wrong now.


    To be honest, I will say it if the black bear comes to ask me. If we didn''t lie, how could we have so many followers? I can assure him that there are Buddhists in the mortal world who do not lie, but up on the sky, I have only seen one who never lies, the Golden Cicada. Yet, now he has been exiled to the mortal world to be eaten by yokais.


    I feel this situation needs to be improved. This black bear yokai devotes himself cultivating to be a buddha. He does good deeds, but I took him back as a sandbag of my disciple everyday. As he stays longer in Western Paradise, he will one day know the truth. What can I do?


    But, what can I say? A boy at Huian''s age always likes fighting and killing. He beats the black bear everyday and they don''t hurt each other too much. If I just stop the fight, he will go out to seek fights with somebody else and he will one day bring fire onto himself.


    I sit on the lotus seat, watching these two running one after the other around the lotus pond. I feel tired for them.


    The black bear runs and says: ''Huian Xingzhe, you said that you were going to enlighten me, but now I have become a member of Buddhism and you are still calling me a yokai. You know. It hurts me when you call me yokai. I have endured the separation with my friend and come here after traveling through such a long distance. If you still detest me, I--I!''


    Huian says: ''Did not you say that you have become an upper class yokai?''


    The black bear says in a huff: ''Although I am an upper class yokai now, I am a lower class buddha, no, not even a buddha. I am not even a Xingzhe. When I was in the Black Wind Cave, countless yokais worshipped me and called me their king. Now I cultivate hard here but receive beatings from people. I am not reconciled! Not reconciled!''


    Huian says: ''It is not I am beating you only. I gave you a weapon as well. I asked you to fight against me.''


    The black bear covers his head and says: ''Although I fought my other friends playfully, you are different. You are the first disciple of Guanyin bodhisattva and the second son of the Heavenly King Li. If I hurt you unconsciously, I will be offending Western Paradise and Heaven at the same time.''


    Huian hears this and darkens his face. He becomes quiet.


    He puts away his rod and turns around into the black bamboo grove. He left the black bear behind saying: ''Ahh, why don''t you give me a response? Huian Xingzhe? Little prince?''


    Huian walks fast. He has gone into the grove and the black bear standing beside the lotus pond alone. He looks at me confused and looks at the flowers in the pond. He watches his reflection in the water and blinks his eyes blankly.


    If I turn on my ability at this moment to hear his inner voice, I will hear those voices again.


    When his father sent him to me at that year, it was because that he just suddenly became unwilling to speak.


    Those voices follow him in his shadow and in his body. They will never evaporate away.


    ''I do not play with you. You are the little prince of the Heavenly King Li. I am just a son of a servant. If you are hurt, the Heavenly King Li will kill my father in return.''


    ''Run! The brother of Nazha is coming! Be aware that he will skin you alive and pull out your veins as well! Hahahaha!''


    "Hush, stay away from him. Don''t you know? He is the second prince of the Heavenly King Li. His younger brother killed the third prince Aobing of the Dragon King of the East Sea when he was only three years old! That boy was peeled off his flesh and returned them to his parents. His dad also broke his golden body! I think that they are all crazy people! The father was going to kill his son and the son was doing suicide! There is no normal person in the Li family! Look at his darkened face. He cannot be better.''


    The leaves of the black bamboo grove is shaking in the wind, making the rustling sound. At last, even the shadows of these leaves have become quiet, as if Huian didn''t walk there not leaving a shadow behind.


    Coming to the world and leaving this world. There is no trace left.


    I am daydreaming looking at the place where my disciple walked away. That black bear yokai stands aside the lotus pond and he says as if he suddenly becomes smart: ''Is Huian Xingzhe unhappy?''


    I: ''......''


    The black bear pats his head and says aloud: ''I thought something went wrong. It was me who annoyed him!''


    This black bear yokai... is very smart.


    He squats down on that lotus pond and talks: ''It must be that I didn''t fight Huian Xingzhe and he got mad. How can I compete against him? Aha! I know it!''


    He suddenly jumps up from the lotus pond and pats his chest proudly: ''Bodhisattva, just wait for me. I shall bring all the small yokais in that Black Wind Cave here to fight Huian Xingzhe!''


    ......


    ......


    What did you say?


    Dare you say that again?


    I smile at him: ''Do you dare say that again?''


    The black bear yokai says: ''I know many yokais in the five lakes, four seas, five hills, three mountains. Huian Xingzhe wants to fight and I shall call them all here to Nanhai along with all their followers for Huian Xingzhe to beat!''


    ......


    Watch and I will beat this fat ugly black bear yokai to death!


    Before I can stand up from the lotus seat, the black bear has tumbled off to the clouds, leaving me a black furry fat back figure in the sky. He rakishly says aloud: ''Wait for me, bodhisattva! I am going to find my friends!''


    ......


    ......What?


    What!!!??

 The Incident in the Gao Village

    It is not that I do not save this girl. It is a celestial rule that we cannot interfere with things on Earth without a proper reason.


    If you have interfered in this, and then that, your co-workers will not be happy. They manage humans in groups. If you just keep making exceptions, no one will be happy.


    As for this girl, if those in the fate-designing department have written: Suicide after three days, and I now make her an exception and keep her alive, then the fate line will be in disorder. The ten future lives for her will be in chaos. The nether world will not receive her soul and those who will be connected to this girl in her next life will be in chaos. Then those who will be connected to them will be in chaos. This will be a butterfly effect.


    Changing a fate of one human may not be good. Maybe she is going to save another human in her next life, but she cannot get there on time because in this life she dies late. Then, I will be saving one life and killing one life. What will happen if this person who should be saved will go on saving other humans? Then, I will be saving one life and killing more lives. All these are based on the basic structure of reincarnation. As a result, no one can promise whether it is good or bad to change fate.


    However, is this the fault of Sun Wukong? Of course not! This is the retribution for those in the fate-writing department deities.


    Anyway, I am Nanhai Guanyin bodhisattva and I will interfere in this incident. Even if they get mad, they can only backtalk about me and go change the book of fate.


    It has been so many years that Western Paradise and Heaven do not bother each other. In fact, no one wants to reveal the fact that none are clean and innocent.


    I will say that, the biggest problem will be Jade Emperor, but who can regulate him? They all let him make more sins.


    Sun Wukong with the baby fox in his hand and he stomps the ground because I don¡¯t give any response: ¡®Bodhisattva, bodhisattva, say something please!¡¯


    I say: ¡®The conflict between yokais and humans was not born yesterday. Even if today we tell them to live peacefully with yokais, it will not work. We have to watch how this thing goes and then think of another solution. Sun Wukong, do not be anxious. I have told you that even deities cannot do everything. Since I have promised you that I will save this girl, I will not watch her dying.¡¯


    Sun Wukong simply pats the head of the baby fox and the baby fox screams painfully: ¡®Why don¡¯t we simply just take her with us to Western Paradise! If we see a suitable man, we can marry her to him on the way!¡¯


    I want to laugh amused and angered by the simple-minded monkey: ¡®Then aren¡¯t you letting your fellow receive the scriptures with his wife? Will he be willing to let you marry his wife to another man?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says angrily: ¡®Then what do we do? We go to a further place to look for a man for her?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Monkey, have you not heard of a saying: Good news stays inside the house; bad news spreads across thousands of miles? The further it spreads, the more twisted it will be. Then, this girl will end even more tragically. What is more, she has never been apart from her parents since she was little. If you let her travel to another hometown of others to marry to a stranger, she will be too scared to go.¡¯


    Sun Wukong stares at me with his Eye of Truth. He rolls his eyes left and then right. He pats his thighs and says: ¡®You say no to this and that. Are you passing the buck and not willing to regulate this incident?¡¯


    I was going to rebuke him but a cry is coming from the house of the girl. The girl runs out of her house and grabs the ears of Zhu Wuneng, crying out: ¡®When you a yokai married me on that day, you spoke all the nice words to me but you didn¡¯t tell me that you are a yokai! Now you have got me into trouble and you are going to be a monk leaving me behind? If you knew ahead that you are going to be a monk, why did you marry me? Say! Tell me! Why did you marry me!?¡¯


    Zhu Wuneng trembles as his ears are pinched and twisted. He looks at shifu and then he looks at his wife anxiously: ¡®It is all my fault! It is all my fault! I didn¡¯t expect the scriptures taker to arrive so fast! I have been lonely for hundreds of years since I was banished to Earth. I thought that I would go crazy if nothing could be changed in my life. On that day, I saw in the air that you father was finding a husband for you and I saw you. I admired the wealth and honor of living in the human world that my mind slanted. It is all my fault. Don¡¯t cry¡­¡­¡¯


    The girl¡¯s face has turned red because she cries so hard. She concludes hopelessly: ¡®Fine! Now you all want me to die! I shall die!¡¯


    Zhu Wuneng is flustered: ¡®Please don¡¯t say such inauspicious words! You are the precious daughter of the Gaos and the Gaos has the family property earned by me. These can ensure your future and you can use those fortunes as you want. Why do you want to die?¡¯


    The girl sees that he doesn¡¯t understand her difficulty at all and she says hopelessly: ¡®You a yokai was born in the wild. You are used to a life of freedom. How would you know the difficulty of being a human!¡¯


    The tear falls from the girl like a string of pearls: ¡®My parents, my relatives, my husband, and my children. Who is not a burden like a mountain on me? You as a yokai have no parents or connections, you just make things sound easy. Why don¡¯t you be a human and taste the bitterness for humans!?¡¯


    After that, she turns around and is going to smash herself onto a pillar aside. Zhu Wuneng sees that his wife is going to die, and he hurries to stop her shocked. He holds her tightly in his arms and speaks to Xuan Zang as he turns his face back: ¡®Shifu, these scriptures shall not be received by me! I don¡¯t go to receive the scriptures anymore! I don¡¯t want that enlightenment anymore!¡¯


    How can this be proper? No one can leave on the way to Western Paradise. It is not something that he can leave as he wishes!


    I have imagined that today he doesn¡¯t follow his fate, and the next day his pig head shall be cut down and made into a dish on the table of Jade Emperor.


    How beautiful and young girl she is! I know that she grew up with all the cares from her parents. She planned to marry to a good mand and enjoy a peaceful life. She wanted to accompany her parents always. Who knows that the fate is being mean to her? That handsome young man yesterday is a fat big-ears yokai today. He scared all her relatives away. Even a child who passes by her gate will laugh ¡°The precious daughter of the Gaos has been married to a yokai! The precious daughter of the Gaos has been married to a yokai!¡±This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Although she hates the unpredictable fate, the yokai treats her with real heart. He is also hard-working. He supports the family and the property that no one else dares to harm them. She thought her life would be like that forever peacefully, but who knows that this yokai is going to be a monk now?


    Then, she is taking things to hard. She doesn¡¯t know who is right and who is wrong. She is confused, and she thinks it is her fault. She has implicated her family to be detested by others. She cannot get over it that she is going to kill herself.


    Now, she wants to die as well after her family wanted her to die. The incident has become disorder.


    I pull Sun Wukong to me immediately and hurry to say: ¡®Now we got no time to prepare and I am going to do it by myself. However, just I alone will not work. Go to Nanhai and take my disciple Huian here. I and Huian will show our real identity and solve this problem.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says anxiously: ¡®You are already the Nanhai Guanyin bodhisattva. Why is it not enough that you will need Huian to come?¡¯


    I say: ¡®You didn¡¯t know that these mortal humans only believe in what they see. Although my disciple doesn¡¯t have many good qualities, he is still the little prince of the Heavenly King Li. Humans know his father. Also, he is good looking and humans want to trust him. Although you the monkey have many good qualities, you look scary and humans do not believe you.¡¯


    Sun Wukong is doubting: ¡®Really?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes. Tell him to dress well and clean.¡¯


    Sun Wukong tumbles to the clouds in the sky and he disappears. I soon call the nearby Earth Deity out: ¡®Are there any mountains nearby? Does it have any yokais?¡¯


    The Earth Deity comes out from the ground with the breath of soil. He sees me and is surprised. Then, he kneels down to me to show his respect for me: ¡®I will not hide anything from bodhisattva. There were some yokais in the nearby mountain and they usually caught humans to eat. However, Zhu Wuneng is a strong one that since he came here, he has cleared out any other yokais living here. There is no more man-eating yokai in this region.¡¯


    I order the Earth Deity: ¡®Ask all animals that has cultivated to here, in front of the Gao village to bow, including the birds in the air, from all these nearby mountains. Do not leave one single cultivating being. Remember, the bigger the show is, the better it is.¡¯


    The Earth Deity takes my order and leaves. Sun Wukong also comes back with my disciple¡¯s collar in his hands. He drags Huian and pushes him in front of me: ¡®Bodhisattva, the little Xingzhe is here. The little Xingzhe is here!¡¯


    This Sun Wukong is usually carefree but now he has put effort in this incident. It is obvious that after following and learning from the little monk, he has finally shown his potential to loving-kindness.


    I say to Huian: ¡®Do you still remember what shifu told you before?¡¯


    Huian glances at the Sun monkey and says indifferently: ¡®We need a big appearance if we are going to meet humans. The more stupid they are, the bigger appearance show should be.¡¯


    Right, we need a big appearance show. A very big one.


    I watch that this Earth Deity has summoned all the cultivating birds and beasts on the ground. It is a scene of ten thousands of animals kneeling and bowing. People nearby are first scared and then they are curious. They all come out to see what happened. People are gathering in to a larger and larger crowd and they whisper to each other.


    After there are enough people gathering around the Gao village and even a fly cannot go out. I and Huian land from the clouds with ten thousands of golden rays in front of every humans and every animals to the Gao village.


    Although I am bodhisattva and shouldn¡¯t be arrogant, I am complacent about my appearance show.


    Being a bodhisattva has this advantage: I can zhuangbi; I can zhuangbi as much as I want to. I can have lots of special effects and I can add other effects as well. Longnv one time suggests me to change the golden rays in her appearance show to pink rays and I rejected her idea. I am very serious on this issue. Although we can make special effects, our special effects cannot be randomly done. This is a big deal.


    At the moment we appear, we are like a bomb exploding among the crowds for those in the Gao village and outside. Some are stunned and frozen. Some kneel down immediately. Some want to move closer to see what happened. It is as exciting as a marriage scene of a girl.


    I walk to Mr. Gao and say: ¡®You have got this rare chance which shall not occur twice in one thousand years. Why would you give it up?¡¯


    No matter how stupid Zhu Wuneng can be, he knows that he needs to kneel down to me when he sees me. Once he kneels down, everyone inside and outside except for that Sun monkey who is holding his cudgel in his arms and looking around kneels down. They crook their head to look over what is happening inside the Gao village.


    Since everyone has been watching, then I must perfect this show. I help the girl up and say to her: ¡®I can see you will have a fate with Buddhism. Why don¡¯t you be a maidservant of mine in the future?¡¯


    After my words, the voices of whispering rise immediately. All raise their head and look at that girl. She was someone being scorned and abandoned by a yokai, and now she is going to be a Xian with Guanyin bodhisattva and to cultivate in Western Paradise. She gains this fate of Xian within one day. Her father, her father¡¯s brother, and their relatives who planned to poison her to death are silent. They all glare their eyes big and don¡¯t dare to make a deep breath. Those village people who sang sarcastic song to mock at her do not dare to sing those tunes anymore.


    The girl was sobbing, and after she hears my words, she cries out and begs me: ¡®Bodhisattva, I beg you! I beg you and please take me away with you!¡¯


    I say to her: ¡®Your life on Earth has not reached the end. You still have a marriage to go in the future. When you die a natural death, I will come take your soul away by myself. Now you still have your fate on Earth. After your designated fate, you shall achieve your enlightenment.¡¯


    As soon as the girl hears that her future living is assured, her eyes shine. She asks me with hope: ¡®Really?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes. It is not easy for a human to live. Do not waste your life in the future.¡¯


    According to the rules, deities cannot speak too much to humans, so after speaking with the girl and Zhu Bajie, I leave with Huian on the clouds. We make even more special effects when we leave. Our effects aren¡¯t made cheap. Those cultivating beasts all go back to their home. Only humans gathered around the Gao village are still there. All of them are popping their head and try to see things inside. They want to see the respected and honorable face of the future Xian.


    This girl who is contaminated by a yokai and who has debased the Gaos will from now on become a living deity for everyone.


    As such, I have solved the incident.


    Of course, I and Huian will not fly fast or far. We are still waiting for that monkey to thank us.


    As expected, not long after we left the Gao village, Sun Wukong catches up with us and salutes formally to me: ¡®Old Sun thanks bodhisattva. Bodhisattva, you are full of mercy and you save people¡­¡­¡¯


    I interrupt him: ¡®Cut the crap.¡¯


    I stretch out my arms and open my palms at him to make a you-owe-me posture.


    Sun Wukong scratches his head and says confusedly: ¡®Bodhisattva, what does this mean?¡¯


    I say: ¡®What a hapless child you are? Where is that baby fox? I have told you that his idiot mom is going to get him back.¡¯


    Sun Wukong is shocked, and he looks around. He is so anxious that he almost scratches blood out of his head: ¡®I, I forgot it!¡¯


    He pauses and holds his golden cudgel tight: ¡®I was too busy to save people and I don¡¯t know where I left that baby fox!¡¯


    ¡­¡­What?


    Didn¡¯t I tell you? This family of fox have become good friends with our Huian. You lost one?


    Sun Wukong is anxious, and he tumbles. After one Jing Dou Cloud, he disappears, and his voice remains in the air:


    ¡®Wait for me, bodhisattva! I Old Sun will find that baby fox even if I have to turn over four seas and eight wilds!¡¯

 Zhu Bajie in the Gao Village

    Sun Wukong was cyring out ¡°Guanyin bodhisattva you harmed me again¡± on his way here to my Nanhai in order to find me trouble and beg for my help, but he glares his eyes big after one tumble of his Jing Dou Cloud in front of me. He stands still shocked with his cudgel trembling in his arms as if he was a falling leaf in the air. He sacredly looks up at me and at the little white fox in my arms: ¡®Bodhisattva, why are you covered with fox body hair with the fox odor?¡¯


    I helplessly take off a wisp of white fox hair from my hair like an abandoned old mom. I sigh sadly and say: ¡®That black bear brought all the yokais in the wild to Nanhai for Huian to beat for fun. I didn¡¯t agree with this but Huian is happy as he is playing with yokais. Huian was weird since he was little. He seldom is happy or speaks. He has few friends. I don¡¯t want to make him upset by driving those yokais away.¡¯


    After that, I pet the little fox who is closing his eyes in my arms: ¡®Today he invited a white fox yokai. The white fox brought his family here, but probably that white fox yokai is a stupid one who doesn¡¯t know how to count. He left his son here.¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    The baby fox is a timid one and he curls up into a furry white ball as soon as he sees Sun Wukong. He is trying to hide deeper in my arms. It is just a moment that I did not pet him, he whimpers. It is a little smart one.


    I catch the tail of this baby fox sadly and pick him up in the air, shaking him in front of Sun Wukong: ¡®See. This little baby just peed on me.¡¯


    Sun Wukong is stunned for a while and mumbles: ¡®Bodhisattva is kind and hugging a baby yokai.¡¯


    I say sorrily: ¡®I wanted to drown him in my lotus pond no less than ten times during these hours when he is staying here. Then I said to myself that I couldn¡¯t do this because I was a bodhisattva and I couldn¡¯t kill. If he just dies in my pond, it will be hard to clean my pond. Later he will just contaminate all my pond with his corpse. That is going to be disgusting and troublesome.¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I pinch his little palms as I pick him up in the air: ¡®Ayyy, I don¡¯t know what kind of difficulty you are facing, but Wukong, you have seen that my Nanhai right now is in chaos. The black bear who should be guarding my mountain is still looking for yokais for my disciple to beat. My disciple beats anyone he sees. I cannot leave here. If you have any difficulty, just solve it by yourself.¡¯


    Sun Wukong places his cudgel horizontally in the air and says angrily: ¡®Bodhisattva, you promised me that you would help me if I faced an unsolvable difficulty. Are you regretting now?¡¯


    I rub the hair of the little fox baby and say sorrily: ¡®Wukong, you are Qitian Dasheng Sun Wukong. I do not believe that there will be any other yokai who is stronger than you. My Huian had no friends when he was little. He is really happy right now and I will let him play this time no matter what. Why don¡¯t you just solve this difficulty by yourself? Ah?¡¯


    Sun Wukong plants his cudgel on the ground and says: ¡®You make it sound easy. You do not know what kind of difficulty I am facing!¡¯


    ¡®Let me ask you first: Is Zhu Wuneng the designated disciple by you for my shifu?¡¯


    His tone makes me like someone who owes him that I wonder if that Zhu Wuneng ate his shifu that he got so mad.


    I say: ¡®This Zhu Wuneng was the Marshal Canopy in Heaven, commanding one hundred thousand of heaven soldiers. His position was high and noble. It was just because a small fault that he was banished down to Earth. He was highly respected, and he should be qualified to protect your shifu to Western Paradise.¡¯


    Sun Wukong sits on the ground because my words just annoyed him: ¡®Although he¡­¡­you don¡¯t know that this Zhu Wuneng has married a wife in that Gao village and now he is someone¡¯s son-in-law!¡¯


    ¡®Bodhisattva, you didn¡¯t know. The old father-in-law requested us to surrender a yokai and he said that Zhu Wuneng forced to marry his daughter. Later after a fight between I Old Sun and him, he told me that this old father-in-law called Zhu Wuneng to marry his daughter formally because Zhu Wuneng was a hard-working guy. He swept the floors, dredged the ditches, carried bricks and tiles, planted crops, mixed mud to build walls, farmed, dug, harvested, and made wealth. Everyone in the Gao village from then on has silk clothes, gold accessories, flowers, fruits, and vegetables. All these are earned by Zhu Wuneng, but now the Gaos are rich and detest Zhu Wuneng being an ugly yokai. They lied to Old Sun that he was a rapist and paid Old Sun to kill him!¡¯


    I say: ¡®It is a weakness shared by humans that the Gaos cling to the better ones and detest the lower ones or break the well after getting water. It is Zhu Wuneng¡¯s fate that he must be a protector of your shifu to Western Paradise. Since the Gaos do not welcome him, it is better for him to just leave with you. He can leave everything behind and join you guys with himself without any connection uncut. Why is this bad?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Bodhisattva ah! First, I am not reconciled to be used by the Gaos to break up a marriage. Second, you didn¡¯t know that the daughter of the Gaos doesn¡¯t want Zhu Wuneng to join Buddhism.¡¯


    ¡®She is just a female who has obeyed her father¡¯s word to marry a yokai. Now she has been occupied by this yokai for years. Although this yokai is ugly, he treats her with his true heart and takes care of her parents, earning them money and properties. Now he scared away their relatives that the parents also blamed her for marrying to a yokai that she contaminated the fame of the Gaos. They accused her for scaring away relatives. Although Zhu Wuneng transformed to a human during the marriage, he is in his pig form when they asked him to make them money and to do hard work. Now they are rich and are searching for daoists to kill this son-in-law!¡¯


    ¡®Yes, it is true that Zhu Wuneng should come with my shifu to receive the scriptures, but the daughter of Gao will not have a bright future once he leaves. According to her family, she has been contaminated by a yokai. It is hard for her to remarry. She will be either living alone or commit suicide. Everyone within the influence of the Gao village knows that she has married a yokai. Who will be willing to marry her? Both the relatives from her mother¡¯s branch and her father¡¯s branch look at her like a monster. Only the yokai treats her with real passion. Now she is crying to keep Zhu Wuneng by her side.¡¯The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    I say: ¡®What a sin it is. I told that pig yokai to avoid alcohol and be a vegetarian and wait for you two to find him, but he went to bring disaster to a daughter of a family. What can be done?¡¯


    Sun Wukong despondently says: ¡®Bodhisattva, don¡¯t forget that my shifu¡¯s mother committed suicide at the end after she was forcibly occupied by the robbers and was finally saved.¡¯


    After that, he throws his golden cudgel away and sits below my lotus seat sorrowly: ¡®Tell me, what can be done? Human rules are human rules. I think if Zhu Wuneng just leaves with my shifu, the daughter of the Gaos will commit suicide within three days.¡¯


    I say to him: ¡®Now you know death is a big deal. How come you didn¡¯t know it when you were fighting and killing in the past? Yet Wukong, back to our topic, being alive or embracing death is their own fate. Humans float and sink in their own fate. Deities cannot get involved in these. If humans are going to chain themselves with rules, that is their fate. I cannot interfere.¡¯


    As soon as Sun Wukong hears me saying that I am not going to regulate this, he strikes his cudgel on the ground and jumps up angrily: ¡®You are the goddess of mercy Guanyin bodhisattva. You sweep away three disasters and save eight calamities. Why can¡¯t you save a girl?¡¯


    I say: ¡®There are thousands of ten-thousand of oppressed women. Am I going to save them one by one? When humans die, they hate deities for controlling their lifespan; When they live, they hope deities to break the rules to save them. Where shall such a good deal be? They harm themselves. They hate themselves. Even if deities want to help, the problem will never end.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says angrily: ¡®You don¡¯t even save one person. How can you save all the beings! I don¡¯t care! You are the kind Guanyin bodhisattva! If you don¡¯t care for her, no one can save her in the world!¡¯


    I see that he is getting angrier that I have no other choices: ¡®You make it sound easy. Can you count the exact number of the oppressed people? Can you help them all? If not, saving one person will not work. I have been living for too long and I have seen too much life and death on Earth. Cause and effect. Wukong, even for cause and effect, there will be unfairness. Let alone the Earth. If that daughter of Gao dies, she will have a good marriage in her next life because in this life she has been doing good deeds and enduring sufferings. Why do you want her to live and suffer in this Gao family?¡¯


    The voice of Sun Wukong is higher and higher. He is almost shouting: ¡®Then I will save one whenever I see one! I do not care! If she deserves a good treatment, she shall enjoy it in her current life! She shall not endure all these sufferings and die miserably to seek a better future life! Once humans die, they die! Once they die, there will be nothing left!¡¯


    ¡®Even though their souls reincarnate, the original one has been gone. It died totally! It will never be reborn!¡¯


    He is being unreasonable again and loses his temper. He suddenly pulls my sleeve and shouts at me: ¡®Say! Do you regulate this incident?¡¯


    My sleeve is pulled by him and I am both annoyed and amused. I ask him: ¡®What will happen if I regulate it? What will happened if not?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says angrily: ¡®If you regulate this, you will still be my admiring Guanyin bodhisattva. If you don¡¯t, you are no different from those bastard deities from in Heaven! I will not protect the Tang monk to receive the scriptures. I shall be bothering you in your black bamboo grove and I will say to anyone I see: Nanhai Putuo Luojia Mountain Guanyin bodhisattva is an indifferent bastard! He watches people dying and his words are not trustworthy! What kindness and passion!? All are lies!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Fine fine fine. You win. You win. I shall regulate this.


    I tuck the naughty baby fox biting randomly in my arms into Sun Wukong¡¯s arms. I warn him: ¡®If he bites you or pees on you, do not kill him. His idiot mom is going to take him back.¡¯


    Then, I dust off the contaminated air on my body with my vyajana and say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Let¡¯s go. Keep this baby fox and if it dies, it will be your fault.¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    On the next second, I and Sun Wukong have arrived at the Gao village standing on clouds. We see two houses one after another. One has Zhu Wuneng and the Tang monk. The other has the Gaos.


    Here, Zhu Wuneng says to the Tang monk: ¡®Shifu, my wife was married to me formally although I accepted Guanyin bodhisattva¡¯s request to receive the scriptures with you. I should stay with my wife until she dies. Now if I just leave her alone, how can I pacify my heart? Why don¡¯t you just go, and I will catch up after one hundred years?¡¯


    The Tang monk is shocked: ¡®Wuneng ah, don¡¯t be kidding. I am a human as well. After a hundred years, I will be an old man as well. I will have gotten the scriptures and you will not have another chance to reverse your fate!¡¯


    There, the parents of the daughter are discussing as well.


    The father-in-law rubs his white hair and sighs: ¡®Ayyy, this yokai was going to leave with the monk, but the girl doesn¡¯t want him to leave now. What can be done?¡¯


    Mrs. Gao says: ¡®Find another good man for her, husband.¡¯


    Mr. Gao strikes the table and says: ¡®A good man? I am afraid that no one will ever marry her! If she had married a worthless man, we could find a better man for her, but she has been married to a yokai! How many years they have been together on a bed? Who will want her right now?¡¯


    After this, Mr. Gao glances at another middle age man on the other side. He whispers to Mrs. Gao: ¡®I am afraid that she will not want to kill herself in the future.¡¯


    Mrs. Gao suddenly bursts out her tears and she cries out, throwing herself on him: ¡®She is your most loved daughter. You have been treating her well since she was little. How could you just let her kill herself? Even if she cannot get married again, she can stay at home. She can stay with parents for the rest of her life!¡¯


    The middle age man in front of them says: ¡®Sister-in-law, it is a yokai who she has been married to. Yokais have been an enemy of humans since the beginning. Yokais have eaten so many humans, and all of us in this region cannot hate yokais more! Now it is fine when this yokai is still here. If he leaves in the future and your girl doesn¡¯t want to kill herself, I am afraid that the Gaos will be in a big trouble from them now! If there is someone who is evilly causing troubles, he will come and burn down the houses of the Gaos and kill the children of the Gaos!¡¯


    ¡®Sister-in-law, you didn¡¯t know. Yokais have been an enemy of humans since the very early beginning. Those who betrayed their side always end more tragically than yokais! We have married our girl to a yokai and what a good amount of fortune he has earned for the Gaos? We have so much property now and people are envious. Then, all these will be their excuse to vent out their inner demons!¡¯


    Mr. Gao sighs: ¡®Do you believe that I am willing to let my daughter die? Only if she dies, all other children in the Gaos can survive. We have no other choice.¡¯


    Mrs. Gao is so sorrowful that she is going to faint. She just keeps saying ¡°My poor daughter¡± and at last she falls into unconsciousness.


    Mr. Gao sees that his wife doesn¡¯t want to agree with him, so he hints to one of his best servants: ¡®Go get a bowl of poison. If the girl doesn¡¯t want to leave cleanly, then force that bowl of poison into her throat.¡¯


    I and Sun Wukong are standing outside their windows and we have listened to all these conversations. We are too shocked to say anything.


    After a while, Sun Wukong is holding his cudgel and doesn¡¯t know what to do. He asks me depressed:


    ¡®Now this thing has gone so far. What can we do?¡¯

 The Son of the Foxes

    After Sun Wukong disappears, Huian asks me: ¡®Shifu, since you are all-knowing, will Sun Wukong find the baby fox at the end?¡¯


    I browse my ability to see the world and say: ¡®Oh, he will not. Let¡¯s go. We shall not wait for him. Let¡¯s head back to Nanhai.¡¯


    I believe that after this monkey lost the baby fox and he cannot find it, he will be too shamed to cause me more troubles. I can enjoy the peace in my Nanhai for a while.


    Yet, before I went deeper with my all-knowing ability, I would never know the truth. I thought this baby is a tiny one who cannot even open his eyes, but he is actually a clever one with lots of thoughts going on in his mind.


    On that day, the mother fox brought her babies here and I thought she wasn¡¯t good with counting. I didn¡¯t know that this baby fox was hiding under the lotus seat and waited for until all his family members had left. He aimed to stay in my Nanhai.


    Later, Sun Wukong was in too much of a hurry to find Huian that he just dropped the baby fox in the black bamboo grove. The baby fox saw that Sun Wukong had gone so he ran back to my lotus seat. My Nanhai has Xiandan gifted by Taishang Laojun, the elixir sent by Queen Mother of the West. All these were swallowed by him and he gained countless cultivation within one day.


    He ate Xiandan and drank elixir so that he got the ability to transform to a human shape. This is not the end.


    He washed himself in the lotus pond and picked a petal from the pond to attach it onto his face. From then on, he gained the ability to transform into any form with ten thousands of faces. No one can ever recognize him.


    This son of the white foxes is so clever since a young age that I don¡¯t know whether I should praise him or curse him.


    Yet, no matter how smart he is, he didn¡¯t make things perfect. If he just left like that, then I couldn¡¯t find him on Earth, in the six circles, on the sky or underground. I would have to let him go, but he is too greedy. He poured a drop of water from my Pure Bottle and thickened it to a pearl. He installed that pearl onto his ring and as long as he carries the ring with him, I will know where he is no matter where he goes.


    Huian asks me: ¡®Should we catch this fox back?¡¯


    I say: ¡®We don¡¯t need to. He is too greedy and he will be killed one day by his greed. It is fine that he stole Xiandan and drank elixir, but he also stole the water from the Pure Bottle to be a pearl on his hand. He just wants to prove to himself how smart he is. Yet, wherever there is a treasure, there will be greed. In the future, everyone will be fighting for this pearl and this pearl will lead to his death.¡¯


    After this thing is put away, I take Huian back to Nanhai. The black bear yokai still wants to find more yokais to cause trouble in Nanhai and Huian thuds at his head and says: ¡®Do you know the son of the white foxes stole the Xiandan made by Taishang Laojun and drank the elixir sent by Queen Mother of the West?¡¯


    The black bear acts like a silly one. His black round eyes look at me and then Huian, and then at Shancai and Longnv who are busy with catching bird yokais who fly randomly in the air. He thinks it is his fault, but he doesn¡¯t want to take all the responsibility. He says: ¡®Shancai Tongzi is in charge of guarding the treasures. How could they be stolen this easily?¡¯


    Shancai is trying to calm down a violent bird in his arms and says to the black bear yokai angrily: ¡®It is so much for me to just catch those yokais flouncing about here brought by you. How could I have an extra eye to keep a look at other stuff?¡¯


    Longnv also says: ¡®Any ordinary yokai cannot enter the Treasure Storage. The Xian air in the black bamboo grove is enough to kill them. It is probably because that the little fox has been rubbed by bodhisattva that he has Xian air on him so that he could sneak into the Treasure Storage. To be honest, that baby fox is really smart. Once he achieves his cultivation, what will happen? In my point of view, all this white fox family are bad. Why not just banish them to hell and chain them there forever?¡¯Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    The black bear is a loyal one and he begs me immediately after that he realizes his friends are incriminated by him: ¡®Bodhisattva, bodhisattva, the white fox lives on eating dreams. They only eat the greed and evil thoughts in human dreams. They never eat humans and they don¡¯t kill. How about we just catch them and punish them to be labors in Nanhai¡­¡­¡¯


    They argue for a long time and I say: ¡®It cannot be caught.¡¯


    ¡®The white fox stole a petal from the lotus pond and from then on even Gao Ming or Gao Jue (Watcher Deities) cannot see him. I wonder how such a yokai will know these secrets. Forget it, and let it pass. This thing is over. Later the white fox shall receive what it deserves. Now all back to your job.¡¯


    I am the biggest boss in Nanhai. I ask them to go back to their work and as expected no one dares to talk more. They all run to their positions. The black bear goes to the back of the hill to repent. Shancai and Longnv are driving those wild yokais away from Nanhai. Huian disappears again. After a few days of chaos in Nanhai, I finally get my peace back.


    To be honest, my Nanhai wouldn¡¯t change twice in ten thousands of years. Since Sun Wukong made havoc in Heaven, I don¡¯t have many peaceful days. This time he offended me, so he doesn¡¯t come anymore. We are even a little not used to it.


    I even ask Huian in one day for several times: ¡°Did Sun Wukong come? Did anyone crying our Guanyin goddess? No? Not even one?¡±


    This is a miracle.


    One day, Longnv and Shancai have nothing to do so they lie on front by the lotus pond to watch how Sun Wukong is protecting the Tang monk to receive the scriptures. They are enjoying it like watching a drama.


    I say to Longnv: ¡®Don¡¯t peep at others always. This is not a good habit. You know that I am all-knowing, but I respect your privacy as well. I don¡¯t look at what you have done everyday. If you guys just keep peeping at Sun Wukong like this, you will have a lot of beatings to endure if he finds it out one day.¡¯


    Longnv says: ¡®I am not gossiping but bodhisattva, please look at what Huian fellow is doing all day long. No one knows what he is doing secretly. What will happen if he brings fire onto himself?¡¯


    I was going to say but I hear Shancai crying out: ¡®So bloody! So scary!¡¯


    He covers his eyes and runs to me. He almost falls into my lotus pond: ¡®The Golden Cicada is caught away by a yokai again!¡¯


    I lean myself forward to see in the pond. A tiger stands up on the ground and shows his sharp paws. He rips his own skin apart and harnesses his skin onto a rock and transforms the rock to a substitute of himself. Then he runs like a wind and catches the solitary Tang monk.


    I say: ¡®What a sin it is. This Jiang Liuer (The child who flows on the river, the child name of the Tang monk) has never seen any blood. Now he is caught by this bloody tiger yokai. He could have been half-dead due to this shock.¡¯


    Shancai covers his eyes and says: ¡®Bodhisattva, Sun Wukong must be on his way here to find you.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Impossible. He lost the baby white fox and he must want to avoid me. He will not have the face to beg for my help.¡¯


    Who knows that before I could finish my words, Sun Wukong¡¯s voice is coming from a far distance: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, Old Sun is returning the little fox!¡¯


    What?


    Impossible. This white fox has transformed to a human shape with a lot more cultivation. He has many transformations and you can never find him.


    I see that this monkey is sweaty all over and he is giving me a claptrap smile carrying a little white fox by picking its tail: ¡®Bodhisattva, I am sorry for my offense. My shifu likes this little white fox so he kept it for a few days.¡¯ After that, he hands the furry white ball to me. This little fox is obviously shocked, and it is shaking like a sieve. As soon as Sun Wukong loosens his hand, this little fox is coming to bite me.


    ¡­¡­


    I watch this wild baby fox. This is not even a yokai. This is just a baby animal.


    Although before the son of the white foxes could transform to a human shape, he was just like this, a furry ball, he was intelligent and knew how to speak human language or fox language. It even knew a few other languages such as monkey language.


    Sun Wukong, are you underestimating me, or do you think I the Guanyin bodhisattva am blind?


    Even Shancai and Longnv have sensed that this is just a wild baby animal which he just caught in the wild. They look at this silly monkey embarrassed and no one talks in this situation.


    I ask: ¡®Wukong, is this the one the right one?¡¯


    Sun Wukong keeps rolling his eyes and he seems flustered, but he still says: ¡®Yes yes! Old Sun will not lie! If you don¡¯t believe in this, I can swear to you with the head of Jade Emperor! If I lied, then the Jade Emperor shall be struck by the thunders from Heaven and he shall die with his limbs apart!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This monkey must have said it on purpose.

 The Sleeping Lingji Bodhisattva

    Sometimes it is so annoying dealing with this Sun monkey. I will help him no matter what, but he deliberately repudiates the debt. What can I say? I still have to help him, but I am just cursing him in my mind.


    Longnv and Shancai are waiting for me to poke his lie out to embarrass him. They both look at me with a drama-watching face.


    I look at Sun Wukong. He seems confident and I am afraid that if I point his lie out, his self-esteem will be hurt. After a while, due to the fact that I have no other choices, I say to Longnv: ¡®Didn¡¯t you see Sun Dasheng hasn¡¯t returned the son of the white foxes? Get the fox and bring it to the mother fox.¡¯


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®This return is really on time. His idiot mom has been looking for him for no less than ten days. This baby fox is really carefree. He knows that his mother is looking for him but he is having fun playing with you.¡¯


    Sun Wukong hears this and he looks at the ground nervously. He raises his eyes to look at me once a while. He scratches his hands and he doesn¡¯t seem comfortable.


    This troublesome monkey has never been scared of anyone in the sky or on Earth since he was called Qitian Dasheng who made havoc in Heaven. He never feels timid in front of anyone. Yet, now he overcautiously stands to face me and stutters: ¡®Yes, bodhisattva¡¯s words are right. This baby fox is too naughty.¡¯


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®It is great that you came on time. The mother fox is being crazy after she lost her son. She is digging every bit of soil in my Nanhai. You know how worried a woman can be if she lost her child. Now if she sees that you have brought her son back, she will treat you as her big benefactor. Just wait here and I shall call the white fox yokai to thank you herself.¡¯


    After that, I hypocritically say to Longnv: ¡®Laugh? What are you laughing about? Is the mother white fox still at the back hillside? Call her here. Her idiot son is back!¡¯


    Before I could finish my words, Sun Wukong pulls my sleeve immediately and hurries to say: ¡®Bodhisattva, please listen to Old Sun speaking.¡¯


    He wants to say something, then he swallows his words back. His monkey face turns red and looks up at me with his anxious eyes. After a while, he acts like a leaking balloon: ¡®I shall tell you the truth! This is not the real son of the white fox yokai. It¡­¡­it is just a random one I caught from the wild!¡¯


    He says despondently: ¡®On that day, I was busy finding Huian Xingzhe. I don¡¯t remember where I dropped the baby fox and it just got lost. I thought Nanhai was a peaceful place that he couldn¡¯t go missing. I didn¡¯t think of finding him after losing him either. But I cannot sense him anymore when I went to search for him. Then, I knew that I had caused a big trouble.¡¯


    Sun Wukong keeps his head down and glances at me secretly: ¡®I wanted to apologize to bodhisattva in these days but you know that I Old Sun¡¯s temper is like this. I have never admitted anything wrong done by me. Now this thing happened, and I wasn¡¯t willing to apologize so I have lost the best chance to find him back. Now my shifu is in trouble so I have to beg bodhisattva¡¯ for help. Then I thought that I haven¡¯t found that baby fox that my heart cannot rest. Hopelessly, I just came up with this stupid way to cheat you!¡¯


    A while after he finished his words, he looks at me to wait for any words from me. I don¡¯t speak and he says boldly: ¡®This stupid idea was not made by me actually. It was my fellow urging me! If it wasn¡¯t for him, how would I do such a shameful thing today!¡¯


    He doesn¡¯t dare to speak openly when he is in the wrong. When he talks about his fellow, he thinks he is right.


    I have no other choice but say: ¡®¡­¡­Yes yes yes. It is the fault of others no matter what. It is just not your, Qitian Dasheng¡¯s, fault. Did you mean that?¡¯


    Sun Wukong makes a forced smile and looks at the ground. He scratches the back of his palms and says: ¡®It is my fault. Bodhisattva, you are a big being and please forgive me.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Sun Wukong, do you not know that how big a trouble you have caused! The son of the white fox stole the Xiandan made by Taishang Laojun and drank the elixir sent by Queen Mother of the West after you left! He also picked a petal from my lotus pond and attached it to his face! From then on, no one can recognize his thousands of transformations! This little fox is so clever since he is little, but he is bad! He will definitely cause more troubles when he grows up! Possibly, he will be more troublesome than you!¡¯


    Sun Wukong looks at the ground and strikes his head despondently: ¡®It is all Old Sun¡¯s fault. It is all Old Sun¡¯s fault. One day when I don¡¯t protect the Tang monk anymore, I will do nothing but go searching for the little fox. I will do it!¡¯


    I say: ¡®Let it pass. It is in his fate that he will have such a fortune. It is hard to say whether this fortune is good or bad for him. Now you came here again. Is anything wrong with your shifu?¡¯


    He says: ¡®He is again caught by a tiger yokai to the Yellow Wind Cave! The tiger is not strong but his king has a wind-blowing treasure!¡¯


    Sun Wukong says in a huff: ¡®It is so rare! In the past, Old Sun had been around here and has never seen such a hard-working man-eating yokai! Even if he likes to eat humans, but he even catches humans from other yokais¡¯ territories. This world has really changed. When we were yokais during the past, we never did things in such a manner. We respected each other and now today¡¯s yokais are degraded. In these five-hundred years when Old Sun wasn¡¯t out, the outside yokais have learned bad. What a degradation!¡¯


    As we are talking, a sickly cold feeling occurs in my body. It makes me feel like I was in a frozen world and I shiver.


    I turn around. Longnv, Shancai, and Sun Wukong are still standing there. There is no cold wind blowing at me. There is no a sudden change of the weather. It is just me.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Before I could ask Sun Wukong what happened, a low sobbing comes into my ears as if someone is weeping and murmurs: ¡®Guanyin sister, hurry to save me!¡¯


    I look around confusedly but no one is talking. After a while, I ask Sun Wukong: ¡®Have you heard anyone speaking?¡¯


    Sun Wukong stares at me and says confusedly as well: ¡®Only I am talking. No one else is.¡¯


    Then I look at Longnv and Shancai. They both shake their head. Obviously, none of them have heard this calling for help.


    No long after that, the voice sobs again: ¡®It is all over. It is all over. Even Guanyin sister cannot come to save me. I will definitely die this time.¡¯


    Wait a minute. Why do I think this voice is familiar¡­¡­?


    Isn¡¯t this voice from Sun Wukong¡¯s shifu?!


    The little monk seems to be talking to himself. I hear him crying and sobbing: ¡®It is all the fault of my two disciples. They just wanted to chase that yokai and now I am caught. No one responds to my calling for help. I am alone here and will be soon eaten by those yokais after they open my chest and belly. How can I go to Western Paradise to receive the scriptures¡­¡­¡¯


    ¡­¡­This little monk can even talk so much to himself when he is alone.


    I am all-knowing and if I turn on my ability, all the voices who are burning incenses for me can be heard. Their voices aren¡¯t loud, but the voice of this little monk is such a noise. I cannot hear anything else as soon as he speaks.


    After a while, I hear him murmurs again: ¡®But I have promised Guanyin sister to receive the scriptures from the Nalanda Temple in Western Paradise¡­¡­¡¯


    I remember that two days go when we were having a meeting in Western Paradise, Tathagata had a brainstorm and he asked us what to do if the disciples of the Tang monk failed to save him. It is true that there will be many difficulties on their way. No one can promise the Tang monk will be always safe. He has died nine times. He should succeed in his tenth life. If he dies again this time, it will embarrass us.


    When Tathagata spoke about this, none of us responded. Although I made the outline for his eighty-one difficulties, the details were designed by Tathagata. If he made it hard and the Tang monk couldn¡¯t survive, then it was his fault.


    Yet, he is the boss. We didn¡¯t dare to say his wrongs. Thus, everytime when he mentions anything related to the actual difficulties, we all look at the ground. After a while, he will forget it.


    Who knows that on that day, Tathagata insisted on giving the Tang monk an ability so that he could ask for help from all deities. Everyone would then know the Tang monk was in trouble and the ones nearby could go to help.


    At that time, I stood up to disagree with his idea. My point was that if the Tang monk¡¯s trouble was known by everyone, it would make us seem useless. It would be a shame on us.


    Therefore, Buddha took a tumble and said: ¡®Right, right. Our inner things shouldn¡¯t be known by others. Let¡¯s solve these by ourselves.¡¯


    I watched his face and thought he was going to find a special telephone operator just for the Tang monk to tell his trouble to any deities around.


    Who knows that after giving the ability to Xuan Zang, his calling just naturally connects to me. Everytime he is caught, I have to listen to his ¡°Guanyin sister, hurry to save me¡±, ¡°Guanyin sister, I am dying¡±, ¡°Guanyin sister, where are you¡±, and something like these. It cannot be more annoying.


    When he wasn¡¯t Xuanzang, I had to listen to his non-stop talking all the time in Western Paradise. Now he has been banished to Earth to be a human and I still have to listen to his non-stop talking. This sinning fate is never going to end!


    I say to Sun Wukong: ¡®Your shifu is caught. You shall find ways to save him. Why are you coming to me?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®That yokai has a treasure which can blow fierce winds. Those wind and sand cause ache to my eyes. I was burned for forty-nine days in the furnace of Taishang Laojun. My eyes have been smoked by the fire and they cannot face wind blows. Thus, I cannot fight that yokai. I heard that yokai saying that he was not scared of any deities in the world but Lingji bodhisattva, so I want to find someone called Lingji bodhisattva to help me. But I have been searching and couldn¡¯t find him, I just come to you for a direction.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Lingji doesn¡¯t live far from me. However, he sleeps nine-hundred years in one-thousand years. If you wake him up, he will not be happy.¡¯


    In the past, I knew that I was not the real Guanyin bodhisattva. I am a fake one who became Guanyin bodhisattva by accident. Sometimes, I thought that it couldn¡¯t be just one fake buddha here.


    Who are the real ones and who are the fake ones among my colleagues in Western Paradise? Possibly, there will be some who are just like me who came from another world. However, when I saw that everyone is working seriously, I doubted that I might be the only hapless guy, until one day, I met this Lingji.


    Others are just like what I had heard about in my previous world. Only he is different from my previous knowledge. He sleeps all day. He sleeps during Buddha¡¯s teaching. He sleeps when he is teaching. He can even fall asleep when he is walking. He doesn¡¯t preach but he has a lot of followers. What a weird phenomenon.


    I doubt that his followers might all be those who would like to be like him, sleeping all day long.


    I am afraid that Sun Wukong cannot wake him up by himself, so I take Sun Wukong with me to the Little Sumeru Mountain. As we arrive at the gate, I ask the child guarding the gate: ¡®What is Lingji doing?¡¯


    The child recognizes me and he immediately salutes to me: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, our bodhisattva is preaching.¡¯


    Since he said that, I know Lingji this dude must be sleeping. I and Sun Wukong kick to open his gate and later his doors. We pick him up from his bed and ask: ¡®Tathagata has asked you to regulate the behavior of the Yellow Wind Demon. How come he is killing beings and making sins in the mountain and has caught the Tang monk?¡¯


    Lingji still hasn¡¯t fully woken up. He confusedly opens his eyes and looks at me. After a while, he says: ¡®Guanyin sister, why are you here?¡¯ After another while, he asks again: ¡®Who is the Tang monk? Is he important?¡¯


    Every seniors in Western Paradise knows that I am not a sister, except for this Lingji.


    Thus, I doubt that he is a fake one.


    I: ¡®¡­¡­He is Xuan Zang.¡¯


    He blinks his eyes and looks more confused: ¡®Who is Xuan Zang?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­The Golden Cicada.¡¯


    Then he finally realizes: ¡®Oh! I know that chatterbox!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I say to myself: probably before he went to bed last time, the Golden Cicada had not been banished. He has slept for too long and has missed a lot.


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Bodhisattva, my shifu is caught by that yokai. We don¡¯t even know whether he is alive right now or he has been eaten!¡¯


    Lingji looks at the ceiling without any focus in his eyes. Although he cannot be fully awake, he says confidently: ¡®Don¡¯t worry. Don¡¯t worry. Tathagata gave me a Wind-freezing Pearl. I also have a Flying-dragon staff. I shall surrender this yokai in no time.¡¯


    He says and climbs out from his bed. He stumbles in his room to search things in his closet and cabinets with his half-open eyes. After a while of searching, he suddenly opens his eyes fully and becomes awake. He trembles and looks back at us straightly.


    We stare at each other and no one wants to say anything.


    Lingji trembles again and stutters: ¡®Rip. This Tang monk shall not be saved within a short time.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says anxiously: ¡®Bodhisattva, this cannot be a joke!¡¯


    Lingji also fretfully scratches his bald head and he stomps and walks around in the room. He feels he is wronged and murmurs:


    ¡®But both my Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon staff are gone.¡¯

 Going Mad in the Little Sumeru Mountain

    Lingji obviously hasn¡¯t understood what has happened. He sees that the monkey is making a scary look, so he pulls my sleeve and asks me in a whisper: ¡®How could I know what has happened? I did leave the Wind-freezing Pearl and Flying-dragon Staff here in the cabinet. Why did they disappear after I woke up?¡¯


    Lingji gets no response from me so he just sits on the ground confused and falls into a trance with his tilted head.


    He has been sleeping for so long that he has zero knowledge of what has happened outside. He complains there alone: ¡®The Yellow Wind Demon was not an evil yokai. He ran away because he was afraid of getting punished after he caused the dimness of Ling Mountain since he stole the lamp oil in Buddha¡¯s glass lamp. He became a yokai after he escaped to my place. Buddha said that his crime would not bring a death punishment to him so I became his watcher. Who knows that he wanted to eat humans? He was just a mouse who ate lamp-oil in the past. How could he begin to eat humans? He was a cute yokai before I fell asleep. Really, you never know what will happen next¡­¡­¡¯


    I look at him reluctantly and ask: ¡®When did you fall asleep? How many years have passed?¡¯


    Lingji scratches his head and tilts his head emptily to think what time it is right now.


    I say: ¡®Tang Dynasty.¡¯


    He is shocked: ¡®The Great Qing is over!? It shouldn¡¯t be!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Your reaction is really in time.


    Lingji says confusedly: ¡®Okay, probably a few hundreds of years ago. Ayyy, Guanyin bodhisattva, I don¡¯t know, really. I was too tired and just couldn¡¯t wake up.¡¯


    Sun Wukong worries the for safety of his shifu and doesn¡¯t want to listen to us chatting about the history of a few hundreds of years ago. He says anxiously: ¡®You as a bodhisattva cannot even wake up by yourself! You even lost the things! What about my shifu!? If my shifu is eaten by that yokai, I will kill that yokai as my revenge and I will not make you easy either!¡¯


    His shout scares Lingji and trembles him. He is not fully awake, and he doesn¡¯t know Sun Wukong either. He has no choice but says: ¡®The Yellow Wind Demon is good at blowing wind. If we want to surrender him, we shall find the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff first. Don¡¯t worry. My things shouldn¡¯t go missing even if I fall asleep. It is probably my disciples or my servants who put them away somewhere else. Let us ask them¡­¡­¡¯


    Once Sun Wukong hears that there is still hope, he leaves us both and runs to the courtyard without looking back.


    After that, Lingji sits on the ground looking at me: ¡®Where did this monkey of a furry face and a Thunder god mouth come from? He really put on airs as if he is someone big.¡¯


    I look at him speechlessly: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Lingji says: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, what happened to you? How could such a disobedient monkey cause you so many attentions? What did I miss during my sleep?¡¯


    He really has missed the biggest matter that happened in both Heaven and on Earth during these hundreds of years.


    I say: ¡®He is Sun Wukong who made havoc in Heaven. Even Jade Emperor couldn¡¯t surrender him.¡¯


    Lingji looks at me confusedly: ¡®What Heaven? What Sun Wukong?¡¯


    I have to explain to him: ¡®During your sleep, this monkey went crazy in Heaven. His cudgel reached the Lingxiao Palace. He almost overthrew the previous seat of the Jade Emperor. Tathagata kept him down beneath the Five Element Mountain for five hundreds of years, but he was afraid that this monkey would one day escape by himself so Tathagata wanted him to join Buddhism. Now the monkey is guarding the scriptures taker to Western Paradise.¡¯


    Lingji seems to understand but not. He emptily nods and says: ¡®Guard the scriptures taker? Then is he a small follower of the Golden Cicada? He is not a big deal. How could he make you so nervous?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    You did miss a lot and a lot.


    Lingji says: ¡®By the way, the Golden Cicada has finally reached his tenth life. Is he going to receive the scriptures from Western Paradise now?¡¯


    I just nod.


    Lingji says again: ¡®Ayyy, I really don¡¯t want the Golden Cicada to come back. You know he is stubborn and he keeps chatting to whoever he sees. I wasn¡¯t a drowsy one, but I just fall asleep no matter what I do after he forced to chat to me for a few times. I managed to keep myself awake when I listened to Buddha¡¯s teachings in the past. Who knows that the boringness can spread after his chats. Now I have become a sleeping one no matter when or where and I cannot wake up by myself. It is all his fault. If he didn¡¯t chat to me, I could have watched the spectacular event of that Sun Wukong making havoc in Heaven!¡¯


    ¡­¡­You the Lingji really have a passion for watching the fun.


    Lingji tries to comfort me: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, don¡¯t worry. The Golden Cicada can chat more than anyone else. Possibly, he could have chatted those yokais in the Yellow Wind Cave to death or on their way to death.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I just lost my hope trying to communicate with him, so I turn around and walk out of the room to search for the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff with Sun Wukong.


    Sun Wukong is a disobedient one and he looks scary when he gets mad. He shouts at any Daoist or children he catches in the Little Sumeru Mountain: ¡®Have you seen the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff?¡¯


    He is a yokai and he has a bad temper. He uses a lot of force picking people up in the air and he scares those children away. They run away when he appears. I believe that his method will never get an answer from them, so I ask politely for him: ¡®During these days, was there anyone coming to this mountain that belonged to your Lingji bodhisattva?¡¯


    A little child looks at me with his eyes and his cute and clean cheeks. He blinks and tilts his head to think: ¡®There was no random unknown people coming here. If there was any, we wouldn¡¯t let them in. Right, Huian Xingzhe came here two days ago.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­???


    I almost let my shout out and I hold the collar of the child tight: ¡®WAIT, WHAT DID YOU SAY, WHO CAME?¡¯


    The child is shocked by me as if he has done something wrong. He looks up at me timidly: ¡®Huian Xingzhe, the little prince of the Heavenly King Li. He also gave me a candy!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    No wonder my eyelids have been beating. A big thing is going to happen.


    I knew it! My disciple has been missing for a few days and he will definitely cause me troubles! See! Just see this! He has made trouble for me!


    Now he has learned! He knows to give candy to let kids cover for him!


    The child is stunned by me and stands quietly in front of me. He scratches his little head and tries to recall. Suddenly, he says happily: ¡®Right, Guanyin bodhisattva, isn¡¯t Huian Xingzhe your first disciple?¡¯


    ¡­¡­No, he is not. I want to drive him out of my branch.


    The child says: ¡®Then the result is simple. The treasures must be in Nanhai already. I will tell Sun Dasheng right now and let him not worry anymore!¡¯

 A Disobedient Disciple

    Immediately I drag that child to me and ask: ¡®Who else knows that Huian Xingzhe has come here?¡¯


    The child says: ¡®Not really. He is not a bad one. I don¡¯t need to tell everyone about this. He always visits here during these years, so no one really goes after him anymore.¡¯


    ¡­¡­What do you mean by ¡°Always¡±? How many troubles have been done by this naughty child during these years that I am not aware of?!


    I hurry to order this child: ¡®No matter how hard that furry face Thunder god mouth monkey asks you, do not tell him that Huian Xingzhe has come here. Remember this.¡¯


    The child doesn¡¯t understand why but he will listen to the words said by the Guanyin bodhisattva. He just keeps nodding right after.


    I glance at Sun Wukong who is still busy with asking for the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff around and he shall not notice me at this moment, so I immediately leave here for Nanhai without looking back.


    What a sin! Longnv has told me to watch Huian. Why did I not listen to her?


    As soon as I arrive at Nanhai, I see my disciple sitting by the lotus pond. He rests his chin on both hands and his eyes are looking at the void of somewhere. He is not aware of my arrival at all.


    I walk closer and he notices me. He barely turns his face a bit to me and nods to me to show his respect. Then, he squeezes out: ¡®Shifu.¡¯ Then, he turns his face back to the void and goes back to his trance.


    His attitude to me makes me feel like as if I was a dog of his that I was hungry, and I went out to hunt, and I idled back, and he nodded to show that he knew it.


    I really don¡¯t know what is in my disciple¡¯s mind.


    Sometimes, I think he has turned old mentally before he actually gets old physically. Although he is young, his eyes are old as if he has gone through a vicissitude of dooms. Sometimes, I think he has never grown up. He is thinking about fighting someone all day long like a child that these several hundreds of years have been wasted.


    I ask Huian: ¡®Where did you go during the past two days? What did you take?¡¯


    Huian is daydreaming resting his chin on his hands. After he hears my words, he turns his face to me slowly. He stares at me for a while and says confusedly: ¡®Didn¡¯t I tell you already?¡¯


    I want to die out of my anger and ask: ¡®When did you tell me where you went? When did you report to me?¡¯


    Huian says bored: ¡®Shifu is all-knowing anyway. What do you not know? I ask you every time I am going to do something. If you don¡¯t stop me, I believe that you support my action, so I will do it. I have been asking for your suggestion, but you have never responded to me.¡¯


    ???


    Are you referring to the times when you were hiding in a corner and murmur to yourself: ¡®Shifu, I am going to make havoc in Heaven¡¯ and you expect me to know this?


    You are really a grown child.


    I have realized that my disciple has misunderstood my ability. Even though I am all-knowing, I will not watch him all the time. What does he think I am? A camera?


    Even if I am watching, I will be watching Sun Wukong. I will be watching if he is causing any trouble to me. Why do I have to watch Huian?


    I am totally defeated by his logic.


    I say: ¡®Huian, although I am your shifu, I always support the idea that you have the right to do your own stuff. I will not watch you all the time. If I do so, what is the difference between I and a villain who always peeps at others after a crack? If you don¡¯t tell me anything, am I no different from a stranger of yours?¡¯


    Huian is shocked for a while and asks me: ¡®Shifu doesn¡¯t know it?¡¯


    I say: ¡®No, I don¡¯t know.¡¯


    He doesn¡¯t seem to believe it: ¡®Not at all?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Who knows that you took away the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff before Sun Wukong came to ask for them from Lingji today?¡¯


    Huian seems to want to say something. He moves his lips but he doesn¡¯t say anything.


    I just stand here and watch my disciple by the lotus pond. He still has that bored face. Now, I am thinking: it has been a few hundreds of years that I am living with Huian. Unexpectedly, I don¡¯t know him at all. He doesn¡¯t understand me either. How have things gone so far?


    I used to think that the Heavenly King Li was too strict with children, so as a shifu I shouldn¡¯t be so strict with him. I thought his manner could improve by that. Who knows that my action is even worse than his father the Heavenly King Li.


    I want to get angry at him but I don¡¯t know what I should say. I say: ¡®Where are the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff?¡¯If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Huian says: ¡®They are just in the Treasure Storage of Nanhai.¡¯


    I want to lecture him but I am afraid that he will dislike me. I just say: ¡®Although you have broken a precept, you shall not break anymore precepts. If you are willing to promise me that you will never do it again, I will not blame you this time¡­¡­¡¯


    Huian was resting his chin on his hands by the lotus pond but he stands up straight after he hears my words. He says: ¡®I didn¡¯t steal. I asked Lingji and he answered.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Nonsense. Lingji fell asleep five hundreds of years ago. How did you ask him? How did he answer you?¡¯


    Huian wants to argue with me. After a while, he just murmurs: ¡®Even if he is asleep, I can ask him. Anyway, he agreed.¡¯


    ¡­¡­Were you asking him when he was asleep: Lingji, let me take your most precious treasures away as my toys. Do you agree?


    Then, you thought that he was like me. You thought we knew what you said in the corner. You thought we agreed if we didn¡¯t say no?


    ¡­¡­Your logic is really imperial.


    I say: ¡®Taking away stuff without asking is stealing. Do not do this anymore. I am not blaming you. I am just telling you. It is my fault as a shifu that I didn¡¯t tell you this. Do not do this again.¡¯


    I thought I was kind enough by saying this, but Huian still isn¡¯t moving and stares at me. He wants to say something but he doesn¡¯t. His weird temper has made it impossible to force him to speak if he decides to hide it.


    After a period of time in which we just stared at each other, he suddenly says: ¡®Then, according to shifu¡¯s logic, I have also broken the precepts of killing and sex. Punish me.¡¯


    ¡­¡­???


    I thought that him stealing had been a great hurt to me, but before I could recover, he said he also had broken the precepts of killing and sex.


    When!!


    I ask him shockedly: ¡®What precepts£¿¡®


    Huian stands still and says each word out loud: ¡®Killing, Sex, Greed, and all other precepts that I could have broken. Since then, why don¡¯t you banish me to the Earth as well to be yokai?¡¯


    I put my hand on my chest to keep myself from fainting and supporting myself by a tree: ¡®It is okay. It is okay. Tell me who you killed. Let shifu hide the corpse for you first¡­¡­¡¯


    Huian: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Humans aren¡¯t grass or trees. They can never get rid of their feelings. He is my disciple. It is my fault that I didn¡¯t teach him well. I shall take the punishment for whatever he has done wrong¡ªI promise, that I am not the only partial one in either Western Paradise or Heaven. Also, although he works in Western Paradise, he came from Heaven. You know that their law is that: Jade Emperor will not blame you even if you have killed everyone in a city if he is happy at the moment; Jade Emperor will blame you if you just drink water if he is not happy at the moment.


    I barely keep my balance by the tree and say to him: ¡®No matter what you have done in the past, as long as your shifu is still alive, no one can banish you to be a yokai on Earth. However, we need to clarify this thing. We need to clarify this thing NOW. I have to fix your weird way of doing stuff¡ª¡¯


    Before he could move his lips, a sudden coldness strikes me. I feel I had fallen from the sky and a tinnitus rises in my ears. I hear the cry of that little monk: ¡®Guanyin sister, come to save me quickly! The yokai is going to eat me now!¡¯


    ¡­¡­Then get eaten!


    Yet, that voice is like an alarm that keeps ringing. Its vibration is making me uncomfortable: ¡®Guanyin sister, I am going to die!¡¯


    ¡­¡­Go to die soon! Die and no one will bother me!


    Really, I must have owed this Golden Cicada in my previous life that he keeps bothering me now. In the past when he was in Western Paradise, he bothered everyone. We were all annoyed at him. Now, he only remembers me, and he only bothers me. This is never going to end.


    What can I do? Can I just watch him dying?


    No, I can only curse him in my mind and curse him to die early. When it is time to save him, I have to drop everything and just go.


    I have no choice but to say to Huian: ¡®Stay here for now. I will come back after solving the shit of Sun Wukong¡¯s shifu. Stay in Nanhai like a well-behaved child. Understood?¡¯


    Huian doesn¡¯t walk. He just squats back by the lotus pond slowly and quietly with the rod in his hand, playing with the lotus leaf in the pond.


    I say: ¡®I will come back soon. Stay here and wait for me. We will clarify everything here after I save the Tang monk.¡¯


    Sometimes, for me, I think being all-knowing is like a curse. Sometimes, I hope I didn¡¯t know, but when things happened, I hope I knew it. Even though that I know if once I know the end, I can never change it.


    Therefore, I always lie to myself and cover my eyes. I avoid seeing or listening to the designated fate. I thought, by doing so, I could escape from the cause-and-effect.


    However, I often feel regret when I think about the thing happened that day. I often think: if I knew that Huian was going to disappear, I would not care about the status of Xuan Zang. Anyway, a chatterbox like him usually lives long.


    Yet, I am used to it. I am used to the fact that my disciple has been waiting for me just like what he has been doing for the several hundreds of years when he is still here. I don¡¯t know when he has changed. He is no longer that child who flopped after me happily. Something has changed him, just like something had changed me in the past, but as a shifu, I am not aware of it at all.


    I know he has been disappointed at something, always, at his father, or at the environment in which he grew up, or at all the buddhas in Western Paradise, or even, me.


    But I don¡¯t know, except for Nanhai or Heaven, where he can go, I always believe that disappointment is unavoidable when children grow up. The world is like this, no matter for humans or deities. To reveal the truth, everywhere is a pile a shit. This world is a pile of shit. Who isn¡¯t coming to the world with hot blood in their chest and leave the world disappointed, leaving a pile of cold blood, and slowly rotting in the soil?


    From then on, three years after I told him to stay in Nanhai and wait for me like a well-behaved child, I have never seen that disciple who I always wanted to drive away.


    But, I at that time, knew nothing about this. I just hurried to take the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff out of the Treasure Storage in Nanhai and then hurried back to the Little Sumeru Mountain.


    Before I could enter the courtyard, I hear the sound of things being dropped and thrown to the ground. I feel things have gone wrong and I hurry to go in.


    I hear Sun Wukong shouting: ¡®You a bodhisattva! Tathagata ordered you to watch that monster and you fell asleep! You spoil that monster to eat humans! Now you don¡¯t want to save my shifu! What receiving scriptures from Western Paradise! All are lies!¡¯


    This disobedient monkey is making trouble whenever I am not looking.


    Probably, Lingji has said something to annoy him because he detests him being a yokai and he doesn¡¯t know him either. That disobedient monkey can never keep his anger down. He probably gets mad as well after Lingji¡¯s words.


    ¡®What are you, Lingji! If you cannot show me the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff today, I will destroy your mountain! I will catch all your disciples, the children, and your gate watchers, ONE BY ONE to the funeral of my shifu!¡¯

 Did I Sleep Through the Peach Banquet?

    I hurry to Sun Wukong and stop his cudgel from hitting others anxiously: ¡®What¡¯s wrong?¡¯


    Sun Wukong stretches his arm and points at Lingji angrily: ¡®He said that he dreamed that Huian Xingzhe took the things away and he asked me to go to Huian Xingzhe! I met many deities who are buck-passing, but he is the first one who uses such an absurd excuse! I have never seen such a shameless deity!¡¯


    ¡®I Old Sun did not have a justice background and it is fine that he detests me, but as long as I am living, no one can frame the disciple of Guanyin bodhisattva! Just watch and I will beat him first!¡¯ After that, he gnashes his teeth and is going to hit Lingji.


    Dream¡­¡­


    Possibly when Huian came to ask him when he was asleep: Lingji bodhisattva, can I borrow your treasures?


    Then, he remembers it based on the voice impression.


    Although Lingji has a high cultivation, he will never fight others right away which will make him seem uneducated. Because he has been chased and hit by Sun Wukong for a while, he also says angrily: ¡®What a disobedient monkey you are! Who are you to talk about my dream? Can¡¯t you think that Guanyin bodhisattva could have taught a method to Huian to enter dreams so that he could ask me in my dream!¡¯


    Sun Wukong picks up his cudgel and is going to hit him again: ¡®Then, why didn¡¯t you say it at first? You said it just now and you must want to frame Huian Xingzhe to clean yourself! You can detest me but how dare you to frame Guanyin bodhisattva! I will kill you!¡¯


    Lingji is being pointed at his head by this disobedient monkey who he detests so he is not happy either. Although he is a nice guy, but he doesn¡¯t have a good temper when he just woke up. He immediately decides to break the precepts to fight this annoying monkey once: ¡®Who will remember what happened in the dream? Everyone only remembers a blurry image! If I am not also willing to help the Golden Cicada, I will not be talking with you about these!¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®I asked you to surrender that yokai who should be watched by you and I didn¡¯t ask you to talk about what dream you had! You have been ordered by Buddha to watch a monster, but you were sleeping here and let that monster eat humans! From my perspective, you are not a good guy!¡¯


    They are going to fight so I have no choice but to speak loudly: ¡®Enough!¡¯


    ¡®First, it is true that my disciple has taken away the two treasures.¡¯


    I cannot tell Sun Wukong the truth because he will go after Huian. Huian is not a well-behaved child either and things will go wrong if they fight. I am partial, so I just lie: ¡®Huian knows that you have difficulty so he borrows the treasures ahead. Who knows that when he came back to Nanhai, you just asked me to go with you to the Little Sumeru Mountain that we missed each other. I can give you the treasures right now.¡¯


    Amitabha. Buddhists do not lie. I have saved the world for several times. One lie should not result in a Heavenly Thunder on me¡­¡­If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡®Second, Lingji you must have been silly after your dream. I don¡¯t even know how to enter dreams so how could I teach it to my disciple? Anyway, I have found the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff. Wukong, if you want to save your shifu, just come and take these first!¡¯


    Sun Wukong with his cudgel in his hands, looks at me and then at Lingji. Obviously, he thinks I am covering up for Lingjie but he doesn¡¯t want to lose my face, so he just takes the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff, turning around, leaving.


    Before he could leave, Lingji says again: ¡®You are just a monkey yokai. Do you even know how to use the Buddhist tresures?! Don¡¯t damage them!¡¯


    There has been a great anger in Sun Wukong¡¯s body and Lingji is poking his pain again. He suddenly turns around and thuds his golden cudgel on the ground. An enormous noise comes from the ground and his cudgel has been thudded into the ground. Cracks and fissures appear on the nearby bricks. They quickly spread and form a radiative shape.


    ¡®I am a monkey, but I am the monkey who made havoc in the Jade Emperor¡¯s Lingxiao Palace several times! When Old Sun was surrendering dragons and taming tigers, making havoc in Heaven, and stealing the Heavenly Peaches, you were fucking sleeping in a corner of nowhere!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Good good good. He is talking about his glorious past again.


    This monkey never changes his personality and Lingji acts like a snob as well. When they get together, it is light a firework meeting a lighter.


    I thought his words would have annoyed Lingji and Lingji would not give a shit. Unexpectedly, Lingji¡¯s face becomes pale and he is shocked. He painfully steps back twice and glares his eyes big. He puts one hand on his chest and pulls my sleeve stuttering: ¡®Did I sleep through the Peach Banquet?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Again, he looks at me with hope and sadness: ¡®Did the Mother Queen of the West send me a few peaches? Did my Little Sumeru Mountain have some storage of it?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Hearing that, Sun Wukong bursts out his laugh at the sky as he holds his cudgel in his arms for a while. Then he says: ¡®All the good-looking peaches in the Heavenly Peach Grove have been eaten by me Old Sun! Let alone having one for you! You will not even be able to see any of them!¡¯


    Lingji glares his eyes big out of shock as if he was having a heart stroke. He cannot keep the balance of his body and he staggers two steps. He almost falls to the ground and faints. Lingji chokes with sobs: ¡®In order to cultivate, I have been a vegetarian for thousands of years. There was a chance to have a tasty vegetarian meal and I slept through it?¡¯ As he is speaking, he points at Sun Wukong angrily with his trembling arm: ¡®This disobedient monkey born from nowhere ate them all?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Lingji bodhisattva, please save some positive karma from your mouth. Even if you are a fake one, you need to watch your status as well.


    I sense that Sun Wukong is going to get mad again. I hurry to say: ¡®Sun Wukong, are you really going to save your shifu?¡¯


    Sun Wukong turns around and leaves with the treasures in his hands. While he is walking, he is also muttering: ¡®Just wait for me here and I will hit and break your bald head¡­¡­¡¯


    I watch Sun Wukong tumbling and riding the clouds away. I think that this thing is solved. If he cannot get there on time, it shouldn¡¯t be my fault either. May the Golden Cicada die early so he can reincarnate early as well so I don¡¯t have to¡ª


    Before I could imagine how happy I would be after he died, a sudden coldness strikes me again. I almost couldn¡¯t breathe because of the tinnitus occurs in my ears again. I hear the crying of the little monk: ¡®Guanyin sister, I am going to die for real this time. That yokai is pulling off my clothes! He has a knife in his hands with a pot ready aside!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Please don¡¯t live stream such a scene to me!


    I think and think. I recall our old relationship which he didn¡¯t eat, drink, or go to restroom in order to argue against me under my lotus seat. I should go to save him. Thus, I ride on the clouds and head to the base of the Yellow Wind Demon as well.


    However, when I just stand on the clouds, a coldness strikes me again and I almost fall to the ground. The little monk is crying softly, and he is choking as well: ¡®The water is boiling! Bubbles are coming up!¡¯


    ¡­¡­Do you really need to tell me this?

 Cross-dress to Test their Sincerity

    When I, Sun Wukong, and Lingji make it to the Yellow Wind Hill, Zhu Bajie is clinching to a tree, dancing in the air. His big belly is shaking to waves of fat by the wind. The pig skin on his pig head has been crumpled into a lump. If he wasn¡¯t fat like this, he would have been blown to nowhere.


    I thought it was amusing enough to see Zhu Bajie dancing in the air. Today I have had enough fun to watch. Beyond my expectation, there are hundreds of little Sun Wukong in the air as well. This scene is a panic.


    A while ago, when he was flouncing on the ground, I gave him three hairs. He could pull them off and blow his breath at the hair to transform them into three hundreds of little monkeys to fight by his side.


    However, according to the law of conservation of mass, hair is hair. They fly in the air without any direction after a big wind like a spinning wheel spinning in the sky. These little Sun Wukong are moving around in the sky and trying to hit and catch something. Full of noise and clamor, they are using their tiny voices: ¡®Poooh! You shall wait and see Dasheng finding Guanyin bodhisattva to surrender you!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    What a scene it is.


    It is like the son goes to fight someone; he cannot win so he just leaves his words of ¡°Wait here and I will find my dad to beat you!¡±.


    Sun Wukong sees my arrival and he takes back his hair and plugs them back to his head. He throws the Wind-freezing Pearl and the Flying-dragon Staff to me and says: ¡®Bodhisattva, let me lure that yokai out and you surrender him!¡¯


    He threw the treasures to me and I throw them to Lingji: ¡®When I have my dress on, I don¡¯t fight.¡¯


    Lingji makes a ¡°I understand it!¡± face and he rolls up his sleeves, ready to fight.


    I look at his hell-bent posture and ask: ¡®You know that I am a guy, right?¡¯


    Lingji is focusing looking at the progress of the battle below and he is prepared to surrender yokais. He responds to me: ¡®Of course I know. How could I not know it? It was just that Golden Cicada chatted to me all day long and he said ¡°Guanyin sister¡± for too many times so I am brain-washed. Ayyy, that chatterbox had better get eaten by that yokai. I don¡¯t want to be brain-washed again after a few hundreds of years.¡¯


    As he is speaking, Sun Wukong is shouting below: ¡®Yokai! Come out to fight me!¡¯


    That yokai also shouts at him: ¡®You the monkey couldn¡¯t fight me in the past! Where did you find your confidence after just a few days? Did you call your dad here?¡¯


    I pat away the dust on my dress and think: his dad is standing on the clouds; don¡¯t you want to come up to see if the dress of his dad is pretty? Why not come to count how many flowers there are on the dress? Hmm?


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Why not! I have brought my dad here to fight you! Do you dare to come out?¡¯


    Before I could be affected, I hear Lingji wiping tears aside: ¡®This monkey is really grateful.¡¯


    ???


    Lingji says: ¡®I detested him for being a disobedient monkey. He looks ugly as well. He is weird and silly. I didn¡¯t expect him to call me daddy just after I helped him once. He is a really good monkey. It seems that I made a right decision.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    After that, he rolls up his sleeves again angrily: ¡®Watch and I shall surrender this mouse yokai for him!¡¯


    Then, he chokes with sobs and shouts at the battle: ¡®Don¡¯t be scared, son! Daddy is up here to support you!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I look at him kindly and remind him: ¡®The wind is too big. He cannot hear you.¡¯


    We are watching that Sun Wukong has lured the yokai out. They go into the fight. Lingji was supposed to save him but he suddenly begins to play with the Flying-dragon Staff. He murmurs to himself: ¡®How do I use this gadget? I have slept for too long and I have forgotten.¡¯


    He looks at the Wind-freezing Pearl and then at the Flying-dragon Staff in his hands. He just says: ¡®It is okay. Let me just drop them to the battle.¡¯


    ¡­¡­???


    Can you be more carefree as a bodhisattva?


    Then, I watch in this fierce wind covering mountains and hills that Lingji just drops his Flying-dragon Staff down.


    This doesn¡¯t seem to be respectable at all!


    Both of us are standing on the clouds nervously and we poke our heads out to watch. The wind has finally stopped.


    The Yellow Wind Demon boosts his cheeks and blows air one time after another, but there is no wind.


    Sun Wukong sees that the Yellow Wind Demon doesn¡¯t blow wind anymore, so he raises his cudgel and is going to kill him. Lingji steps forward immediately and shouts: ¡®Don¡¯t move, son! Let me surrender that demon!¡¯


    As he is speaking, he transforms the Yellow Wind Demon to its original form. It is just a yellow marten. He catches it and puts it in his sleeve.


    Sun Wukong is still confused, and he turns around to ask me: ¡®What did he call me? What did he say?¡¯


    I look at him calmly and peacefully: ¡®He said, ¡°Please don¡¯t do that, Dasheng¡± and he wanted to surrender that yokai for you.¡¯


    Sun Wukong obviously is a little confused. He is not really assured. He looks at me and then at Lingji bodhisattva. He digs his ears and asks: ¡®Are you sure, bodhisattva? Why it doesn¡¯t sound like what he said?¡¯


    I fatherly rub his messy hair with my hands and say: ¡®You misheard.¡¯


    Sun Wukong still doesn¡¯t believe it and asks again: ¡®Really? But my ears seldom fool me.¡¯


    I grandfatherly say: ¡®Your ears are damaged by the wind. Take care of them after this.¡¯ After that, I go back to the clouds and leave Sun Wukong alone being stunned. When he is stunned, Zhu Bajie has rushed into the Yellow Wind Cave and released and saved the Tang monk who was going to be cooked.


    I believe that I can leave now, but my body hair stands up again. I hear the little monk crying out in my ears: ¡®Guanyin sister, I am saved! Did you come to save me!?¡¯


    No, I am not, and I did not.


    I beg you. Don¡¯t bother me anymore.


    The little monk asks happily his disciple Zhu Bajie: ¡®Did Guanyin sister come to save me?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie says: ¡®Yes. Guanyin bodhisattva just stood in the clouds and that yokai was too scared to maintain his transformation, so he went back to his original form, a palm-sized yellow marten. He was trying to escape and running on the ground!¡¯


    The little monk says confidently: ¡®I knew Guanyin sister would definitely come to save me!¡¯


    I am having a headache by his chats. I grab Sun Wukong to me: ¡®Tell your shifu to not find his Guanyin sister in the future if he needs to be saved no matter what. His Guanyin sister is going to die from his voice if he keeps doing so.¡¯


    Sun Wukong doesn¡¯t understand: ¡®But bodhisattva you have said that you would come to help me when I couldn¡¯t solve the problem¡ª¡¯


    I respond quickly: ¡®Yes, I will save you, but it is totally different from saving him.¡¯


    Before, I thought Sun Wukong was scary enough. I had to go help him when whoever he beat. Now I believe that this crying baby Xuan Zang the little monk is scarier. Before when he was the Golden Cicada, he would be crying and shouting ¡°Guanyin sister, hurry to save me! They are going to pull off my clothes and skin me alive!¡± to scare me.


    I just don¡¯t understand. How can these yokais be so picky on food. Isn¡¯t Xuan Zang a tender young human!? Why don¡¯t you just eat him! Why do you even want to skin him?! Who do you think you are going to eat?! A porcupine?


    Sun Wukong is trying to understand my words with his stone brain. After a while, he understood me: ¡®So I can ask bodhisattva to save me and my shifu cannot.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes. Tell him to speak to Buddha when he asks for help so that he will look sincere.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Okay, I will tell him. Thanks bodhisattva this time.¡¯


    I think and considerate: ¡®If you think you lack love from a father because you have no parents¡ª¡¯


    Before I could finish my sentence, he suddenly glares his eyes big and glances at my dress quickly. He trembles and steps back. He looks at me as if I was some kind of monster.


    ¡­¡­


    I was going to say if he needed a father¡¯s love, I can recommend Lingji to him.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    But I am not happy when he shows me such a reaction. What do you mean? Do you despise the white dress of Guanyin? Do you even know that this dress can help Guanyin save the world and enlighten beings?!


    It is okay. I the Nanhai Guanyin bodhisattva do not get serious with him.


    I say goodbye to Sun Wukong and return to Nanhai, looking for my disobedient disciple to clarify what he has done. But I walk around my lotus pond again and again, and I search in the black bamboo grove again and again, I just cannot even see his shadow.


    I ask Shancai and Longnv: ¡®Did you see Huian? Where did he go?¡¯


    Longnv says: ¡®I have told bodhisattva that you should watch him. Now he is gone again. He hasn¡¯t swept the leaves in the black bamboo grove either.¡¯


    Shancai says: ¡®Don¡¯t always badmouth about Huian fellow. He will come back soon for sure. You know that Huian fellow will never leave before he finishes sweeping the leaves in the black bamboo grove.¡¯


    I grab the black bear yokai to me and ask: ¡®Do you know where Huian went to?¡¯


    The black bear yokai says: ¡®I don¡¯t know. It has been my lucky day that he didn¡¯t come to beat me. How could I dare to look for him?¡¯


    At this moment, Shancai screams out of shock: ¡®Bodhisattva! Another petal is gone in the lotus pond!¡¯


    My eyes move to that pond of water. I can imagine that Huian squatting by the pond, stretching his arm, picked off a lotus petal and the reflection of his stuffy face on the water. His face is silent and dead. His eyes reflect the ripple of the pond, but then soon return back to stillness.


    I see that he doesn¡¯t want me to know where he went.


    For the first time in several thousands of years, I feel my heart empty as if I have done something wrong.


    Three years after that, I have never seen Huian again, not even his shadow.


    At that time, I ordered Longnv and Shancai to separately search for him in Western Paradise and Heaven. I also ordered the black bear yokai and the ditzy Daoist to look for him on Earth. But I heard nothing from him, it was three years of searching.


    After Huian left me, it was like all the troubles had left with him. Sun Wukong only came to me once. That was when he met the honest guy by the Flowing-sand River. He wanted to fight that honest guy but the honest guy didn¡¯t want to fight him, so he came to me out of anger again.


    I say to him: ¡®Wukong, you cannot beat him. He is your future fellow!¡¯


    Sun Wukong bites his cudgel angrily: ¡®I have told him but he doesn¡¯t believe that we are the scripture takers! Does he have a lump of something in his brain? Bodhisattva you are the only one who knows the details of the scriptures takers! Do I the Qitian Dasheng need to catch a fake monk to trick a yokai?! He acts like someone important, but I know he was exiled by the Jade Emperor!¡¯


    Coincidentally, Longnv is coming back from Western Paradise looking for Huian. She looks upset because she found no clues.


    I say: ¡®Let Longnv go with you and he will recognize you guys.¡¯


    Sun Wukong despondently nods and hurries to the Flowing-sand River with Longnv.


    Alone I am sitting on the Nanhai lotus seat. I suddenly feel that this Nanhai is too cold and empty. In such a big mountain, there is no sound from the birds. There is not even a wind. How quiet it is.


    Before I can get upset, Sun Wukong tumbles back again madly: ¡®That yokai is a dumb one! What an idiot! I have requested Longnv to come with me to verify our identity! Guess what he said! He said only ¡®Huian Xingzhe and YOU! He doesn¡¯t believe any others¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    *Sigh*. I cannot do anything about it. Anyway, he is an honest man. He has been honest for several thousands of years and he was always trolled by other. He is alert and scared now.


    Sun Wukong hurries to say: ¡®I don¡¯t want Longnv or Shancai. Please let Huian Xingzhe come with me!¡¯


    His words poke my pain point. I have no choice but to tell him: ¡®Huian has an ongoing important duty that he cannot go with you. It is fine. I can go with you by myself.¡¯


    We ride on the clouds and leave Nanhai to the Flow-sand River. The water in the Flowing-sand River is fierce and wavy. There is no boat that can across the river. We don¡¯t know how long this river is, but the distance between two sides has reached eight hundred Li. There are even wild winds and the great waves never end. A leaf cannot even float on the surface.


    On the clouds, Sun Wukong suddenly shouts and points at the shore of the Flowing-sand River: ¡®Bodhisattva, see! Isn¡¯t that Huian Xingzhe?¡¯


    I can only see the yokai, Zhu Bajie, and the white-bun-like little monk Xuan Zang. I just cannot see Huian.


    Three of them are talking and saluting to a void on the shore¡ªI know that Huian has the lotus petal on his face that I will not be able to see him even if he is right in front of me. Let alone if I can see him from the clouds.


    I can only say to Sun Wukong: ¡®My eyes aren¡¯t working well recently. Tell me the situation below. Tell me the details.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Huian Xingzhe hands a red calabash to my shifu and he turns around at us and kneels down. He kowtows for three times and then he just turns around and leaves. He has no facial expression. Bodhisattva, didn¡¯t you say that Huian Xingzhe had an important duty ongoing?


    Since he saw me, he knew I was looking for him, but he still left me. Obviously, he doesn¡¯t want me to look for him.


    I say: ¡®I have been living for so long that I forgot it. I have told Huian to bring the red calabash to send you guys across the river.¡¯


    Even though Sun Wukong is a monkey, he is not silly. He also has doubt arisen in his mind: ¡®Bodhisattva, are you in a cold war with your disciple? Ayy, it is ordinary, ordinary. My shifu doesn¡¯t like me either and he wants to drive me away everyday! Sometimes I want to kill him with my cudgel when he casts the headache spell as well, but we are shifu and disciple. As long as he is being my shifu for one day, he has been my father for all my life. I will calm myself after two days no matter how mad I was.¡¯


    I am almost going to smile by his logic: ¡®So now it is the monkey¡¯s turn to ease me?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®The little Xingzhe is different from me. He is the spoiled prince of the Heavenly King Li. Of course, he will have a bad temper and be stubborn. This is not unexpected. He also wants to beat me as well!¡¯


    I say: ¡®He likes you if he wants to fight you. When you made havoc in Heaven, Huian told me that you were the only yokai he respected. Don¡¯t blame him.¡¯ I say to myself that being a shifu is so hard. My disciple left me and I still have to say good words about him in front of others in case others go after him for revenge.


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Bodhisattva, although Huian Xingzhe argued with you, he still sent us the calabash. Probably he will go back with you if you ask him. Do you want me to catch him back?¡¯


    I shake my head: ¡®If he wants to go back, he will. If not, even if you kill him, he will not come back. Go guard your shifu to Western Paradise. Don¡¯t forget to tell Sha Wujing to strand the nine calabashes together and put them in the middle. Then you guys can cross the river.¡¯


    He is going to leave and I hurry to pull him back: ¡®Wukong, if you see Huian in the future, please tell him that: I am not his father. I will not kill him if he did something wrong. I will not exile him after he broke the precepts. I am just his shifu. Shifu will cover up and take whatever revenge for him no matter what sins he has done. Could you tell this to him?¡¯


    Sun Wukong is shocked: ¡®Bodhisattva, don¡¯t scare me. I know what kind of person Huian is. He joined your Buddhism and he will never do something evil.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Don¡¯t ask me what he did. Just tell my words to him, could you?¡¯


    Sun Wukong hurries to say: ¡®Yes yes yes. If we have the fate of meeting each other again, I will tell Huian Xingzhe!¡¯


    He knows the method to cross the river, so they cross the Flowing-sand River with that little monk. As they step on the land of the other side, those skeletons floating and sinking in the water becomes nine winds of Yin. They fly to the surface of the black and heavy river and disappear in the distant pale sky silently.


    I take back the calabashes and come back to Nanhai. I see three despondent shadows by the lotus pond. That pair of children is Shancai and Longnv. The fat big black furry belly is that curled up black bear yokai.


    They see that I am back. Shancai pinches up the ears of the black bear yokai and runs to me angrily: ¡®This black bear yokai is lazy. Bodhisattva has told him to search for Huian fellow, but he was sleeping with the bamboo in Nanhai! Do you think you can become a panda by just putting some flours on your body!?¡¯


    Shancai is a little boy and the black bear yokai is a big yokai. Now his ears are pinched but he cannot escape. He can only grovel on the ground and explains: ¡®The four seas and the eight wilds are too big! How can I find one person in such a big area? Why don¡¯t you let me go to look for him in Western Paradise and you guys go to the Earth¡ª¡¯


    Shancai gets mad and he keeps flapping his fur: ¡®Bodhisattva asked you to search and you even find yourself an excuse to sleep!¡¯


    I say: ¡®Let it pass. From now on, we don¡¯t look for Huian anymore.¡¯


    Shancai is stunned for a while: ¡®Not looking for him?¡¯


    I say: ¡®If he wants, he will come back. If he doesn¡¯t want us to find him, it is useless for us to try to search for him.¡¯


    The black bear yokai hurries to say: ¡®Yes yes! When Huian Xingzhe wants to come back, he will come back!¡¯


    Shancai says angrily: ¡®You shut the fuck up! I have felt not right about how could that white fox sneak into the Treasure Storage! How could he a yokai from Earth know so many secrets of Nanhai! It must be you who had told him to steal the treasures of bodhisattva! Now you don¡¯t want to look for Huian fellow and you must have hurt him, so you hide him! Then, why does he hide from us!? He has been in Nanhai for several hundreds of years. Your arrival has caused disorder of everything!¡¯


    Longnv also says: ¡®Yes, it must be this black bear yokai causing trouble! I know there is no one single good yokai!¡¯


    The black bear yokai¡¯s ears are pinched by them both at both sides and he screams out of pain. He cries out: ¡®Even if I want to steal the treasures of bodhisattva and want to harm Huian Xingzhe, I don¡¯t have such an intelligence! Also, also, bodhisattva¡¯s golden headband is still on my head. Am I seeking death?!¡¯


    Shancai says: ¡®He must be pretending! Yokais aren¡¯t stupid after cultivation!¡¯


    Longnv says: ¡®Yokais know how to lie the best! The more honest he looks, the more unreliable he is! He is just like that white fox!¡¯


    The voices of these two children are getting higher and higher in front of my lotus seat. Suddenly, the sound of wind comes from the black bamboo grove. It must be someone of a high position coming to Nanhai.


    I hurry to ask Shancai and Longnv leave the black bear alone. Three beings walk toward me. The headmost one is Lishan Mother. Manjusri and Samantabhadra are following her behind. These three will not come to visit me for nothing. If there is nothing important, they will not come to me. Now they are coming together at me together. I am flustered.


    Ah Huian, what kind of trouble you have caused?


    Lishan Mother amiably walks to me and slips her arms through mine: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, I have discussed with Tathagata that we are going to test his sincerity because we are not sure if he is still as pure as before after ten lives on Earth.¡¯


    I was scared. I thought Huian had an accident.


    I say: ¡®Testing is fine. Please teach me how to test him, Lishan Mother.¡¯


    Lishan Mother answers me briefly: ¡®Oh, four of us transform into four beautiful women to test them.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    I say: ¡®Pardon me. I didn¡¯t understand it. Please tell me more.¡¯


    Lishan Mother says openly: ¡®Heroes usually fall for the beauties. We will transform into beautiful ladies and lure them to marry us and see if they have a sincere heart for going to Western Paradise.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I shiver.


    My two disciples and my mountain guard also shiver.


    I ask: ¡®I didn¡¯t quiet understand your meaning. Can I try to summarize your words? You said that you and three of us¡­¡­three men were going to act like women to lure monks?¡¯


    These buddhas in Western Paradise are really relaxing! If you guys have so much free time, why don¡¯t you take Sun Wukong¡¯s troubles as well?


    Lishan Mother amiably looks at me: ¡®No. In details, I will be your mother. The task of acting as women and luring them will be yours.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I look at Manjusri and then at Samantabhadra. They both have a despondent look. They seem to have lost the hope of life.


    You want three guys to lure Sun Wukong? Aren¡¯t you afraid that he will go mad and make havoc in Heaven again if he found out? Aren¡¯t you afraid that the Golden Cicada will revenge at you when he recalls his memory? How about Zhu Bajie, and also the honest guy Sha Wujing? We can test their sincerity, but we shouldn¡¯t deceive their feelings!


    Are you sure you are not going to borrow a few real women from Earth? Why am I thinking that our Western Paradise is so poor?!


    Manjusri says: ¡®Why can¡¯t you bear this, Guanyin bodhisattva? You are experienced. Look at me. I¡­¡­¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®When I joined Buddhism in the past, I never expected today. If I knew it, why would I¡­¡­¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Lishan Mother pats my shoulders as if she is assigning an important quest to me: ¡®Neither of them are experienced, so you will be handling the most important task, Guanyin bodhisattva. As the saying goes, able men are always busy.¡¯


    Why are you making me look like someone experienced? Are you having any misunderstanding of Guanyin?

 Four Saintesses Test Sincerity

    As Guanyin, my world view, value, and view of life are free from corruption. I want to roast this thing but there are too many points I can pick at that I don¡¯t know where I should start.


    I say to Manjusri and Samantabhadra: ¡®Well, not all men in the world like women. This idea will not work at all. Think about this: if we try hard to test them and then we find out that they don¡¯t like women, isn¡¯t that our omission? Since they are already the designated people, even if they are not sincere, but they have been through half of the way, can we replace them now?¡¯


    After my words, everyone is silent for a while. We look at each other but no one wants to start talking.


    Then, Samantabhadra says: ¡®I think Guanyin is right.¡¯


    Manjusri snorts: ¡®So what? Do you think Lishan Mother is someone reasonable?¡¯


    Then again, Manjusri says slowly: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, I think this idea cannot help three of us get out of the sufferings.¡¯


    We used to think that we were the ones to help others get out of the sufferings. We didn¡¯t expect today when we are already deities. This is really a cause-and-effect. The Dao will never miss one being.


    I have complained about it many times in the past that how can we not have any female deity in our Western Paradise where we chat about gender equality and they even ordered me to cross-dress to cheat the believers.


    Later, I thought about it. It cannot be more reasonable for Western Paradise to have no females¡ªbecause the dresses we offer here are not pretty at all. No female deities want to join our Western Paradise and enlighten humans wearing an ugly dress. They all hop to Heaven to wear the beautiful Xian dresses.


    This is the only difference between females and males here. Males think that Xian is Xian. No matter what Xian wears, Xian will look good. Whatever we wear will be the standard Xian aesthetics.


    Unexpectedly, our aesthetics is too straight that any powerful female deities are not willing to work for Western Paradise and when the situation got emergent, we could only use men to act like women!


    I have suggested to Buddha a long time ago that we should change our overall attire to a better looking one, but he rejected it. He said that as Buddhists we needed to have a high level of ideology to realize that everything is the same although they have different physical appearances. All humans are just skeletons with pinkish red covers. They will age and become ugly anyway. If they don¡¯t have such awareness and instead favor pretty things, then they are not qualified to be a Buddhist.


    Although his idea seems to be right, who will believe in an ugly yokai if you are going to preach?! At the end, we still compromised that we needed to clean our attires. I feel that Buddha is too obsessed with ideology and our Western Paradise has lost too many opportunities. Also, there is nothing wrong with favoring pretty things. Isn¡¯t it a virtue to favor pretty things? Those female deities aren¡¯t judging others based on appearance, but they just want themselves to look clean and pretty. Why is this a problem?


    In conclusion, because his ideology is too straight, there is never enough labor force in Western Paradise and I have to sacrifice myself to replace those female deities who are not willing to come to Western Paradise to work and preach on Earth wearing a dress. When I began to do that, Buddha said nothing.


    Three of us are getting together and worry for the thing of acting as women. Lishan Mother comes back to check us after she finishes constructing the villa and the farmlands. She sees that we are not practicing how to act as women at all and says: ¡®Manjusri, Samantabhadra, you both are bodhisattva but how come you don¡¯t know the behaviors of beings? Look at you. Although you have transformed into a woman with woman¡¯s clothes on, your actions or words doesn¡¯t look feminine at all. This will not work.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Since I arrived at Western Paradise, it has been several hundreds of years without seeing any female human. Even if I saw one female, it would be a female deity. I didn¡¯t see any females from Earth.¡¯


    Lishan Mother points at me and says: ¡®Look at Guanyin bodhisattva. He can act as a woman, superb flawlessly.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®Lishan Mother, I and the Golden Cicada know each other. No matter how hard you try to persuade me, I cannot seduce him. Please change my target person.¡¯


    Lishan Mother: ¡®Fine, I will deal with Xuan Zang. Except for the Xuan Zang monk, the hardest one to see through is Sun Wukong. Guanyin bodhisattva, you are the strongest here and he is your target.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I prefer to die.


    Yes, I save and enlighten beings in the world, but it shouldn¡¯t be in this way.


    I press down my impulsion of shouting abuse and try to use a vernal tune to say words one after one to Lishan Mother: ¡®Sun Wukong, is a monkey.¡¯


    You asked me to act as a woman to seduce him! Why don¡¯t you just catch a female monkey to do this!?


    I thought I had enough reasons. Who knows that Lishan Mother confidently and seriously says: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, do not be picky. Work hard.¡¯


    ¡­¡­?


    How am I picky?


    This is already a cross-species thing!


    You asked a man to act as a women to seduce a monkey. This is no different from asking a male monkey to act as a female monkey to seduce a man.


    If this works, then I cannot imagine how great that love story will be. They shall not be the labor of scriptures. They shall promote species equality and cross-species love.


    Obviously, Samantabhadra thinks my words are right so he backs me up: ¡®I think Guanyin¡¯s words are very convincing.¡¯


    Who knows that before I can be happy for his support, he says: ¡®Why don¡¯t we ask Guanyin bodhisattva to be a female monkey to try? This will be more realistic.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I smile at Samantabhadra lovingly: ¡®Zhu Bajie is a male pig. Why don¡¯t you transform to a female pig?¡¯


    Samantabhadra: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    He stares at me for a while and then he says decisively: ¡®I have no thoughts. I will support Guanyin¡¯s idea anyway because his words are always right.¡¯


    Manjusri also says: ¡®I think Guanyin is right as well. I support his stand.¡¯


    Lishan Mother amiably looks at this temporary group of us. Then, she mildly says: ¡®Good. We have decided that Guanyin as a woman to seduce Sun Wukong. Samantabhadra gets Zhu Bajie. Manjusri gets Sha Wujing.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    What is the difference between this and the previous decision?


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®I believe that this is an auspicious sign. Tathagata said that I was too dictating before. Now with Guanyin¡¯s suggestion, we finally have democracy and equality. This cannot be better!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Then, she smiles amiably at us: ¡®Do you have any other suggestions? Just say them and we can talk about them.¡¯


    Immediately, there is no voice. No one even wants to echo.


    Three of us are frozen here and the whinny of a horse comes from outside. On the tree shades, a white horse runs onto the mountain fast like thunder and Tang Sanzang on it is holding the halter tightly until the horse stops running.


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®Hurry up! The Tang monk and his disciples are coming!¡¯


    Right after, she turns around and becomes a gracious woman. Although she doesn¡¯t look young, she still looks beautiful and sexy with the accessories on her hair and on her body. She orders us: ¡®You transform, so that the truth-seeing monkey cannot see your flaws.¡¯


    Manjusri says with a long face: ¡®How?¡¯


    Lishan Mother points at me and says: ¡®Look at Guanyin¡¯s face to transform. You can only look better than his look. I don¡¯t allow you to look less pretty than him. I want you to have curvy eyebrows, white teeth, pinkish cheeks, and smooth skin. You¡¯d better wear a sexy dress and walk slowly and half step just like female humans do. Do you know how to twist your waist? I want you to have an unparalled beautiful face and attractive postures.¡¯


    She said a lot but Manjusri asked her confusedly: ¡®So, how?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Why did you even talk about so many complex details to a straight man who has not seen any human women for hundreds of years?


    Lishan Mother is hopeless at the comprehending ability of his, so she just says: ¡®Okay. Transform to a good-looking woman, like Guanyin.¡¯


    Samantabhadra and Manjusri take a tumble and transform. Although they look like pretty girls now, they are standing there with their original posture. They look like girls who are possessed by a monk spirit.


    Lishan Mother sighs: ¡®Fine, fine. Stay behind and I will host them. If I don¡¯t call you out, none of you cannot show up!¡¯


    After that, she turns around and hurries to the outside.


    Samantabhadra has transformed to a girl and he enquiringly stares at himself in the mirror for a while: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, I think it is very dangerous if we keep this form.¡¯


    I say blankly: ¡®¡­¡­Ah?¡¯


    Samantabhadra pats his sleeves and then picks up his dress, looking at himself in the mirror: ¡®I transform myself to be too pretty. I am afraid that I will fall in love with myself soon.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    After a while, he transforms again to another girl. He was a comely beauty with a pair of dewy eyes, silk-like hair resting on the shoulders. Now he changes to a sexy beauty with a pair of limpid eyes, peach-blossom-like cheeks. He cannot stop playing with transformations now.


    After a while, he says to me: ¡®I probably have opened a strange gate to the new world. Ayyy.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    He is going to change again, I hurry to pull his sleeve and drag him to sit: ¡®Okay okay. Don¡¯t play with the transformation anymore. You may be seen through by that monkey. You know that he was burned for forty-nine days by Taishang Laojun in the furnace that his Eye-of-Truth is powerful. He may be able to see through our idolum.¡¯


    Three of us sit together but we don¡¯t have much to say. We look at each other quietly.


    Then, Manjusri says suddenly: ¡®By the way, is your disciple Huian leaving you right?¡¯


    I am puzzled and was going to gloss it over. He says again: ¡®I heard that the Heavenly King Li wants him to resume a secular life. How does your negotiation go?¡¯


    I have never heard of such news, so I can only say: ¡®I did not know any of this. Please tell me more.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Li Jing has a total of three sons. All of them have joined Buddhism. He has no support in Heaven. Although his third son Nezha is working under him, they have enmity in between, so he wants Huian to learn spells from you and then go back to work in Heaven. Kill two birds with one stone! However, Huian has been by your side for too long and he has no connection in Heaven to help him and he needs to marry someone to solidify his position first. He has been picking in-law-relatives for a while now. How could you not know any of this?¡¯


    I say: ¡®It is not I didn¡¯t know any of this. Since his first son is a Dhammapala of Buddha, it is hard to get him back. He has only Huian left. When he sent Huian to me, he said that Huian would not be joining any conflicts. I knew this day would come but if he didn¡¯t say it, I have to act blind and deaf.¡¯Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    Huian is different from his older brother. He is dronish by my side. He just sweeps the floor with his besom everyday. There is nothing really for him to do. Buddha told me that Huian was just here to get a piece of certificate and even though I raised him up for his father, he would have to go back to work for Heaven in the future.


    Huian¡¯s background is so noble but with me he can just be a Xingzhe. The title of Xingzhe is embarrassing because even a monkey like Sun Wukong is a Xingzhe as well. When Sun Wukong meets people, he also calls himself ¡°Sun Xingzhe¡±, but I am afraid that he has never seen any Buddhist scriptures.


    If Huian goes back with his father to Heaven, he can lead those thousands of ten thousands of Heavenly soldiers. He will be more prestigious than being a Xingzhe by my side.


    However, he the Heavenly King Li has planned for everything for Huian. He has never asked if this is what Huian wants. Does he want to be a free deity on Earth? Does he want to stay in Heaven and worry about his life controlled by Jade Emperor? Does he want to just sweep the leaves in my Nanhai black bamboo grove for his whole life?


    Manjusri says: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, why are you so kind? What does Li Jing think our Western Paradise is? Since his son has joined Buddhism, he shall never seek his son back! If I were you, I would for sure clear all his cultivation and then he could return to Heaven to work for his father!¡¯


    Samantabhadra was addicted to looking in the mirror and he senses that both of us are chatting, so he interrupts as well: ¡®Tathagata has said that this is a diplomatic problem. It is troublesome. Anyway, I cannot interfere. However, if you Guanyin one day go into an argument with the Heavenly King Li and you need someone to back you up, I can take everyone from my Mount Emei to support you.¡¯


    I am touched by his claims that I almost begin to cry.


    Sure enough when any man puts on a woman¡¯s dress and acts like a woman, he will be much friendlier!


    We are chatting and suddenly we hear a quarrel burst out in the outer room. Lishan Mother who is acting as a widow says: ¡®I have hundreds of mu of good farmlands. I also have fruit trees in the mountain. My villa has stored so many grains and silks that we can never have them all. If you marry into my family, you don¡¯t need to work as a laborer. Why do you not want to do that?¡¯


    Samantabhadra pops his head out to glance once and he hides back: ¡®What are they talking about?¡¯


    I say: ¡®She is acting as a rich beautiful widow saying that we have money and food and if these monks are willing to marry themselves to us to live with us.¡¯


    Manjusri is a little extreme: ¡®I think Lishan Mother¡¯s aim is to make them once bitten and twice shy. If they encounter such a good offer in the future, they will not dare to try it. They will be doubting if it is bodhisattva¡¯s test so that they will be turned off.¡¯


    Samantabhadra is mild. He peeps out and says: ¡®I thought Lishan Mother was bored so she was going to teach the Tang monk.¡¯


    Neither of them got it right like I did. I am sure she is doing this to make political contribution.


    Samantabhadra feels shy since he is the only one still peeping so he asks me: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, don¡¯t you want to see them?¡¯


    I say: ¡®I don¡¯t. All of them are familiar with me. I am afraid I will be seen through. Just tell me what you see.¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®I have never seen the Golden Cicada being scared of someone, but when Lishan Mother says that she is going to marry him into the family, just look at how scared he is!¡¯


    I was going to see the Golden Cicada¡¯s face, but before I could stand up, a sudden coldness strikes me as if I was in the nether world¡¯s abyss. I am frozen, and I hear Xuan Zang speaking in my ears: ¡®Oh no, Guanyin sister, this old woman wants to marry us into her family when we ask for a stay!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Why do you even want to tell me this? What do you want me to do? To save you from being married?


    This calling ability was taught to you for emergency, not live streaming!


    No, I have to talk to Tathagata after this is over. I can only handle one, Sun Wukong or the little monk. If I have to handle both, I shall die!


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®Monks don¡¯t know how good a secular life can be. We have new clothes every spring, lotus in the summer, rice wine in the autumn, and warm houses in the winter. We sleep on a soft bed every night which should be much better than being a monk walking in the mountains.¡¯


    That little monk is scared the most when someone interrupts him. He wants to say something but he cannot say anything bad about them or explain because it is an old woman who offers to help them so he just stutters in a whisper: ¡®Although there is not much to talk about as a monk, we are happy and satisfied. After we became monks, we have been freed from gossips or aging skins¡­¡­¡¯


    Then, he thinks he just got too harsh, so he hurries to explain: ¡®No, I didn¡¯t mean it. Old lady, please don¡¯t get mad at me!¡¯


    Right after, he despondently pulls the tiger skin miniskirt on Sun Wukong and whispers: ¡®They want to marry someone into their family. How about Wukong marrying into them?¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®I have promised Nanhai Guanyin that I will guard you to Western Paradise. Am I an ungrateful person? Unless Nanhai Guanyin comes here by himself to tell me not to guard you to Western Paradise, I will not leave you.¡¯


    I, Samantabhadra, and Manjusri feel ashamed behind because he is solely here to return my favor, but we are testing him. What a shameful thing to do!


    Sun Wukong says again: ¡®Bajie seems to be very eager to stay. Why don¡¯t you stay here? Huh?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie obviously has an unsettled mind, but he doesn¡¯t dare to say so in front of his shifu and his fellow so he just murmurs: ¡®You all just know to tease me. I have never seen her daughters. How can I marry them?¡¯


    Sun Wukong hears this and bursts out a laugh. He hugs his cudgel straight in order to stand still: ¡®Shifu ah, this Zhu Bajie doesn¡¯t care about his own ugliness but he is afraid of girls born to not have a good look!¡¯


    Zhu Bajie is snapped so he anxiously says: ¡®Who told you that? I didn¡¯t mean it! My mind is solely for Buddhism¡­¡­¡¯


    Lishan Mother calls to the inner room: ¡®Zhenzhen, Aiai, Lianlian, come out to see our guests!¡¯


    Our goose skin rises when she calls us.


    What the fuck are these names?!


    Manjusri suddenly says: ¡®I know now. She is not coming to tease those monks but us. Unfortunately, Ksitigarbha isn¡¯t here. Otherwise, we could have another guy to be¡ª¡¯


    Lishan Mother: ¡®What are you shy about? Come out to see our guests!¡¯


    Samantabhadra sighs: ¡®Ayy, if they find out my true identity this time, I shall not be a bodhisattva anymore. I am going to resume a secular life.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Why do you both care so much about the appearance? Look at me. I am already used to wearing a woman¡¯s dress.¡¯


    Three of us come out together and no one raises their face. We are waiting for the next order from Lishan Mother.


    Expectedly, Sun Wukong fails to recognize any of us and he just wants to tease Zhu Bajie so he says immediately: ¡®Ayyy, how can we know if these girls look pretty or not if they don¡¯t raise their heads? If not, I am afraid that this idiot will dislike and avoid them.¡¯


    Lishan Mother sneers: ¡®Oh? You dislike and avoid my daughters?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie immediately says: ¡®No, no, I really don¡¯t dare to do so! These girls are as beautiful as Xian. They look so pretty!¡¯


    As soon as he says ¡°Xian¡±, three of us shiver together.


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®Let¡¯s agree with this first: who is Zhenzhen? Who is Aiai? Who is Lianlian?¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Fuck off these Zhenzhen Aiai Lianlian weird names. I don¡¯t want any of these names.¡¯


    We stand embarrassed in front of these monks for a while and then Lishan Mother finally says: ¡®Okay, you guys go back. They dislike you!¡¯


    We turn around as if a huge burden was taken off from our back but unexpectedly that little monk cries out in a surprise: ¡®Wait a minute! Wait a minute¡­¡­¡¯


    As he is speaking, he chases up to us happily and drags me: ¡®This sister, I have seen you in the past!¡¯


    At this moment, I feel like I was in an ice abyss. If there is a crack on the ground, I will go in and never come out again.


    Sun Wukong is holding his cudgel in his arms chuckling behind: ¡®Wow, this monk says he doesn¡¯t have a sexual desire everyday but as soon as he sees a pretty girl, he just said he had met her in the previous life! How smart he is!¡¯


    Xuan Zang is so worried after hearing Sun Wukong calling him lascivious that he sweats and explains: ¡®I wasn¡¯t sure at first so I looked at her for a long time. Yes, it is true that I have seen this sister in the past. I recognize you, but do you recognize me?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Only the Dao will know how you can recognize me.


    In order to not be seen through by Sun Wukong¡¯s eyes, we put our real power into our transformation. How could you a mortal human be able to recognize me every single time you see me!?!?


    I really offended you in my previous life that I cannot get away from you in this life.


    Who knows how much this little monk hates me. He dies in every reincarnation during his ten lives on Earth, but he can recognize me no matter what form I am.


    I fake my voice and say: ¡®Little shifu, you must have misrecognized me. There will be nothing left if one dies. How could you remember things that happened in your previous life?¡¯


    The little monk joyfully pulls my sleeve and smiles at me with his white-bun-like face: ¡®I become very happy when I see you. There is no way I can misrecognize you! As soon as I see you, I really want to recite scriptures to you! This is so strange. Although I know you will dislike me if I do so, I really want to discuss Buddhism with you. Sister, do you read scriptures?¡¯


    ¡­¡­The Golden Cicada as expected really hates me! Those scriptures that he didn¡¯t finish in his previous lives are going to be dumped into my ears in his current life as a human!


    Sun Wukong grins like a Cheshire-cat to his two fellows with the cudgel in his arms: ¡®You didn¡¯t know that our shifu always picks the prettiest girl to say these words. When he sees Nanhai Guanyin, he also pulled his sleeve to say that he had met him in his previous life!¡¯


    After that, the three of them are laughing together. As soon as they laugh, we as deities are frightened into a cold sweat.


    This is really scary.


    Although all in Western Paradise know that the Golden Cicada has a grudge with me, I didn¡¯t know he has such a heavy grudge.


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®Oh? You take a fancy to my third daughter. Are you going to be a son-in-law now?¡¯


    Xuan Zang is shocked and hurries to wave his hands carefully: ¡®No, no. I just think that this sister has a fate with Buddhism that I just want to recite some scriptures¡­¡­¡¯


    I knew it.


    This Golden Cicada has only one obsession: He didn¡¯t win when he argued with me so no matter how many times he dies, he is not reconciled.


    I am embarrassed at the moment, but someone just makes me feel worse. Manjusri was standing aside still but he suddenly says: ¡®Oh? You recognize my sister. How about me?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Why are you looking for more trouble?


    Once the little monk hears this, he seriously comes up to look at his face. He opens his eyes big, looking at him from left to right and says blankly: ¡®I didn¡¯t see this sister in the past. Only this sister¡­¡­There is no way I will make such a mistake. I have seen you in the past¡­¡­¡¯


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®Since you two have such a connection, why don¡¯t you marry my daughter?¡¯


    The little monk is horrified, and he keeps shaking his head: ¡®I cannot. I cannot. I am going to receive the scriptures. If this sister is willing, she can come with me also. You have a Buddhist look. Possibly, you will also be enlightened when we arrive at the Nalanda Temple.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Your ambition to bother me to death is on fire!


    Lishan Mother sneers: ¡®Are you daydreaming? I am willing to let my daughter marry you if you stay here. Why are you so greedy and want to take away my daughter?¡¯


    Xuan Zang is just snapped by her so he says anxiously: ¡®I am a monk. A monk doesn¡¯t resume a secular life¡­¡­¡¯


    Then he pulls Sun Wukong¡¯s sleeve and says: ¡®You go to talk to them and tell them that we are monks from the Great Tang. We are going to receive the scriptures.¡¯


    Sun Wukong makes fun of him on purpose: ¡®Since then, why did you say that you had met this girl in your previous life? You showed your interest but then you didn¡¯t want to marry her. How can this be right?¡¯


    The little monk blinks his eyes perplexedly: ¡®But I did meet her. If I have met her, then I have met her. If I haven¡¯t met her, then I haven¡¯t met her. Monks don¡¯t lie.¡¯


    He is the kind of person who keeps banging their heads against the wall. No matter how hard others try to explain, he will not listen to.


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®You the little monk is so unreasonable. You pulled my daughter¡¯s sleeve to say some bullshit about your previous life, but you aren¡¯t willing to marry her! Enough!¡¯


    Right after, she knocks away his hand which was pulling my sleeve and says angrily: ¡®Since then, you shall stay in this room!¡¯


    After that, she brings us to the inner room.


    There, Samantabhadra whispers to me: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, what did you guys argue about in his previous life? How come he still remembers it?¡¯


    I say: ¡®How do I know?! I was walking alone talking to myself and he just began to talk to me when he heard it. I have forgotten what I was saying, and I only remember him saying Amitabha below my lotus seat!¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Well, my previous topic with him obviously didn¡¯t leave him with a deep impression. I was arguing with him why men don¡¯t give birth. He didn¡¯t remember me.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    You who are living in Western Paradise are really unoccupied.


    We walk to the backyard and see that white dragon horse being tied there. Samantabhadra asks me: ¡®So this is the little prince of the Dragon King of the West Sea?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes. Now he is a mount of the Tang monk. Watch your mouth. He understands your words.¡¯


    The little white dragon glares his eyes big and tilts his head at us. He looks at Manjusri and then at Samantabhadra. Immediately, he is shocked and tries to kneel down to us to kowtow. Manjusri likes trouble so he seals the ability to talk of the little white dragon after one swing of his arm: ¡®Please forgive this offense, little prince.¡¯


    We were talking in the backyard and Sun Wukong suddenly appears with his cudgel. He really has a deep affection with his cudgel and he always has it in his arms no matter where he goes. When he doesn¡¯t use it, he also puts it in his ear. It is like his baby who has to stay with him all the time.


    He is calling after us: ¡®Ms. Lianlian, please wait!¡¯


    As he calls, Samantabhadra says: ¡®I have told you to divide the names. Now, who knows who?¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®It doesn¡¯t matter. I am not going to respond anyway. I am deaf now.¡¯


    None of us talk, so Sun Wukong comes up and pulls me: ¡®Girl, I have something to tell you.¡¯


    Obviously neither Manjusri or Samantabhadra want to be related to this monkey so they leave here quickly after knowing that I am ¡°Lianlian¡±.


    Sun Wukong says earnestly: ¡®Girl, do not misunderstand my shifu to be a frivolous man. He said that he had met you before because he misrecognized you with someone else. Also, he just wants to preach Buddhism and he has no intention to molest you, but he is too stubborn. I shall apologize for him to you here.¡¯


    I say: ¡®I am not mad. Please don¡¯t be so courteous for it, Zhanglao (A referential title for monks). My family also worships Buddha and I can understand what the little Zhanglao means.¡¯


    Sun Wukong salutes to me and speaks reverently: ¡®Well, he just has this one single bad habit. He always misrecognizes people. When he saw Nanhai Guanyin¡¯s statues, he also said he had met him before. He is a muddleheaded monk. Please don¡¯t mind it.¡¯


    At this moment, Zhu Bajie suddenly runs out from the room and says: ¡®Fellow, fellow, I have to negotiate this with you.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®We are just staying overnight here. Why do you need to negotiate? Do you really want to stay here to marry them?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie says: ¡®You just know to laugh at me. Don¡¯t you have the same intention? If not, why do you stop her here alone!?¡¯


    Sun Wukong wants to kill him out of rage. He looks at me and then at him. He is struggling with whether he should beat his fellow in front of me. It was fine when he wasn¡¯t looking at me closely, but when he does, he is shocked¡ªI am also looking at him when he looks at me.


    Then, he shivers and jumps far away from me. He glares his eyes big at me with his monkey eyes up and down. He also glances at my dress quickly and points at me feebly and trembling: ¡®You¡­¡­¡¯


    ???


    What do you mean?


    Impossible. This monkey can never see through me!


    Even Tathagata cannot see through my transformation within a short time. How could he?


    I look at myself up and down. I am sure I am flawless, so what does this monkey mean?


    He looks at me. I look at him. Zhu Bajie looks at me. He looks at Zhu Bajie.


    Sun Wukong points at me feebly: ¡®You¡­¡­¡¯


    Zhu Bajie says jealously: ¡®Wow you aren¡¯t letting her go now.¡¯


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®I give you three seconds. Get out of my sight! Three! Two!¡¯


    Zhu Bajie is shocked, so he runs away immediately. While he is running, he says: ¡®If you didn¡¯t have something on your mind, why do you want to talk to her alone! Who knows what you guys are going to do next! Ha, I am going to tell shifu!¡¯


    Sun Wukong afraidly trembles with the cudgel in his arms. He points at me shivering:


    ¡®You you you¡ª¡¯


    I have an inexplicable bad feeling now.

 A Failed Test

    Frankly, I look into Sun Wukong¡¯s eyes and still act as a young unmarried girl. In order to make him believe me, I also fiddle with my hair.


    Sun Wukong looks at me feebly for a while: ¡®Bodhisattva¡­¡­¡¯


    I play dumb: ¡®Little shifu, what are you talking about? I don¡¯t understand it.¡¯


    Sun Wukong struggles and says: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva¡­¡­¡¯


    I smile: ¡®Little shifu, I still don¡¯t get it.¡¯


    Sun Wukong smashes himself into a tree and he almost breaks that tree. The leaves of the tree fall like rain and he hopelessly says: ¡®Guanyin goddess!¡¯


    I: ¡®Pooh! How many times do you need me to remind you that I am a guy?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    In the backyard, we stare at each other. A pair of human eyes and a pair of monkey eyes are focusing at each other for a while. Then, I ask: ¡®Fine. How did you recognize me?¡¯


    Sun Wukong sighs: ¡®Among all the humans, ghosts, deities, or yokais, only Guanyin bodhisattva you will look at me in this way.¡¯


    I am confused: ¡®What do you mean?¡¯


    Sun Wukong looks at the ground sadly with his cudgel in his arms: ¡®You always look at me as if I was an ungrateful child of yours that you really want to get rid of, but you cannot. It is a look that you want to avoid me, but you also feel empathy for me. It is really an insulting look.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­Oh.


    You also know you are ungrateful now.


    Well, this monkey isn¡¯t silly as we thought before.


    Sun Wukong keeps smashing his stone head on that tree. He says one sentence when he smashes once: ¡®I was wondering because the little monk only recognizes you so how come he recognized another today. I didn¡¯t expect him to see through you earlier than me. What kind of hatred do you guys have during his previous life? He died and has been through the Netherworld. He has experienced reincarnations and has drunk many bowls of Mengpo soup. There will be no memory left after a dead one who passes the Naihe Bridge. Any hatred from the previous life will have been blown away, why is he able to recognize you still?¡¯


    If he didn¡¯t mention it, I wouldn¡¯t be able to recall it. It was a flashlight in my eyesight¡ªthe scene of Nanhai hundreds of years ago suddenly appears in my mind.


    After that day when he argued with me, I was touching the wreath of flowers on my lotus seat while I was cursing him an unnatural death. I couldn¡¯t bear more with his Gatling mouth, so I just cast a spell to seal his mouth so that he couldn¡¯t speak anymore. Unfortunately, he dozed during Buddha¡¯s lecture later that day. Buddha rebuked him and asked him why he dozed in his lecture. He pointed at his lips, but he couldn¡¯t speak any word out. He wanted to write but he had no pen, so Buddha banished him away from Western Paradise to endure ten lives of sufferings. At the thought of this, all his sufferings are caused by me, and I am in a cold sweat.


    ¡­¡­No wonder the Golden Cicada couldn¡¯t forget me.


    Good, in fact, it was he the Golden Cicada who started all of this.


    But what can I say? Does he look like someone reasonable?


    Ayyy, let me save him more times in this life in case he will take revenge when he gets his memory back.


    As soon as Sun Wukong asks me this, I am a little flustered, so I say: ¡®I don¡¯t remember it. I hope your shifu cannot recall it either.¡¯


    There is a silence between us for a while. Sun Wukong points at me and my dress and my head accessories and he says unacceptedly: ¡®Then why are you¡­¡­¡¯


    I say: ¡®Don¡¯t ask any more questions. I work under Buddha and I have my own difficulties.¡¯


    Sun Wukong squints his eyes for a while and says: ¡®I don¡¯t mean to say this but bodhisattva, although Old Sun has cultivation, I am still a monkey. If Western Paradise wants to test me in this way, you should transform into a monkey as well¡­¡­¡¯


    I glare my eyes big.


    I have said it!


    He is a monkey!


    Why does no one believe me!?


    I hurry to say when he is going to turn around and leave here: ¡®You have seen through this but don¡¯t tell others!¡¯


    Sun Wukong walks despondently and carries his cudgel on his shoulder without looking back: ¡®No, no, I won¡¯t say it. I would like to watch the fun!¡¯


    I come back and find out that the Lishan Mother is also a lazy one. She doesn¡¯t even make more houses. Our room is just right next to theirs. Once I enter the room, Samantabhadra hints me to be quiet. At this moment, I hear Zhu Bajie talking to the Sand monk: ¡®We are all mortals. We all have feelings and desires. Even if we become a deity, we cannot avoid this, but shifu is not like us. He insists on being a cold-blooded person. Wow and wow!¡¯


    At this time, Sun Wukong also comes back with the cudgel on his shoulder. He murmurs after he sits in a corner when he hears them talking: ¡®I don¡¯t know about shifu, but I have a psychological shadow. Since I knew that the Guanyin bodhisattva is a guy, I am alert when I see any pretty girls.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    What do you mean? Do you despise my sacrifice for Buddhism?!


    This monkey doesn¡¯t understand the ideology of everything being equal at all. Women can wear women¡¯s dress, but how can¡¯t men wear them? Do you despise men? You are a sexist.


    I thought this topic had ended, but Zhu Bajie suddenly falls from his chair. His round belly rolls on the ground three times and he says shocked: ¡®Guanyin goddess is a guy!?¡¯


    Before Sun Wukong can say anything, Zhu Bajie just flops his ears and cries. He makes hiccups and his crying is loud enough like a firework that Samantabhadra cannot keep calm by saying ¡°Amitabha¡±.


    Sha Wujing sneers aside: ¡®Fellow, you must know it. He always thinks that Guanyin goddess likes him so ¡°she¡± always comes to help. He has been pondering on how to return this ¡°favor¡±.¡¯


    Sun Wukong is in a daze: ¡®How come this fat pig never learns? Just think about it. Don¡¯t you remember why you were banished from Heaven? Wasn¡¯t that because you thought Chang¡¯e liked you and now you are here?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie hears this and he suddenly stands up from the ground: ¡®You didn¡¯t know it. Chang¡¯e sister likes me for sure. One time my clothes had a hole, so she asked her maidservant to fix it for me!¡¯


    Sha Wujing looks at him stunned: ¡®Wasn¡¯t that because you were not willing to leave, crying on the ground on the Moon Palace after you fell down and broke your clothes?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie says seriously: ¡®That¡¯s because I wanted to test her feelings for me. Without this try, I wouldn¡¯t know that she likes me! She likes me!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Manjusri says: ¡®This Zhu Bajie hasn¡¯t changed his larvicious mind. What can we do when he actually arrives at Western Paradise?¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®What do you mean? Do you think we have anyone in Western Paradise for him to molest?¡¯


    I sigh: ¡®Don¡¯t worry. After this, I believe that the area of his psychological shadows in his brain will be larger than the area of his lascivious desire.¡¯


    Manjusri and Samantabhadra think of my words and they agree.


    We are discussing about what we are going to do when this is done in the room right next to the Tang monk. Lishan Mother lifts up the curtain and walks in: ¡®We need to change our plan. That little monk is too talkative, and I cannot deal with him. Guanyin bodhisattva, he always thinks that you were his friend in his previous life. Why don¡¯t you talk to him for a while?¡¯


    I say: ¡®What a sin! Why do I have to do everything!? Just leave them alone! Why do we even need to test them in this way?¡¯


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®If they are determined, they will not change their mind. If he gets to know you more, he may show his real personality.¡¯


    I am helpless. What kind of real personality he has? If he has any real personality, it will be his personality when he was the Golden Cicada. Are you saying that Buddha accepted a bad personality disciple?


    Lishan Mother says again: ¡®If we just leave it like this, our test will seem like bullshit. We need to talk to them at least. We can leave alone his disciples, but we have to test him. There will be more yokais on their way. If he changes his mind then, what can we do?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Fine. I will do what you say. After this is over, I will not interfere in their journey anymore.¡¯


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®I don¡¯t need you to do anything hard. Just chat with him and see what he thinks of this journey.¡¯ Then, she waves at Manjusri and Samantabhadra: ¡®Don¡¯t laugh at Guanyin. Manjusri, you go to ask Sun Wukong. Samantabhadra, you go to find Sha Wujing!¡¯


    After that, she lifts up the curtain and leaves: ¡®Zhu Bajie wants to stay. I will go talk to him.¡¯


    Once she leaves, three of us in the room look at each other speechlessly.


    At the end, Manjusri says: ¡®Yes, she is here to watch our fun! She must be hiding somewhere laughing!¡¯


    Then, we stuffily leave the room and go to clear our quest.


    I find Xuan Zang and he is looking at the fish by a pond. His eyes are opened big and he looks focusing.


    He sees my reflection on the surface water and he hurries to pull me aside in a whisper: ¡®Girl, I just saw a fish with three eyes in your pond. Isn¡¯t that a yokai?!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Lishan Mother didn¡¯t even make the villa carefully. How can we have a three-eyed fish!


    Fake ones are fake. They can¡¯t be real anyway. Even if they are illusions made by a deity, they will have a flaw somewhere.


    But what can I say? My character setting is just an unmarried girl who doesn¡¯t even go out. I say: ¡®Ah¡­¡­Three eyes?¡¯


    I didn¡¯t finish my sentence because the little monk is shocked by my words and he soon covered my mouth anxiously: ¡®Don¡¯t say that so loudly. It will be bad if it hears us!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    This little monk is really innocent!


    Why don¡¯t you think that since this villa has so many flaws, we are actually transformed yokais to eat you?


    I assume that he has been scared too much after being caught twice by yokais since he hadn¡¯t seen any blood in the past.


    He watchfully looks around and senses no action from the pond, so he drags me away from the pond walking: ¡®My first disciple can surrender yokais. I will ask him to eliminate yokais for your home later. Don¡¯t be afraid. It is alright.¡¯Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    I am not afraid at all, but he has been trembling.


    At this moment, I want to tease him since he is so scared of yokais, so I make an evil grin on purpose: ¡®Little Zhanglao, why don¡¯t you doubt that we are actually yokais who have poisoned your food and are going to pickle your corpse as food?¡¯


    I expect him to be scared out of his wits after my words, but he looks at me frankly: ¡®No, you will not be. Sister, you are a good person. I have met you in my previous life.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I: ¡®Oh? Don¡¯t you think that it was me who framed you to such bad luck of being eaten by yokais?¡¯


    The little monk insists looking at me: ¡®No, sister. You must be a good person. Those sufferings I have endured are what I deserve in my fate. I cannot blame those on others.¡¯


    Oh my! This Golden Cicada didn¡¯t become more annoying after ten lives on Earth, but he is even a little likesome!


    I look at this soft cute white-bun-like kind little monk. For a while, I cannot link him with the annoying chatterbox. I doubt he is not the right person.


    I just begin to like him, but he turns around and says to me seriously: ¡®Since sister you are so into Buddhism, let me recite some scriptures for you.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    Oh, this is the right person.


    I say to him: ¡®I know that you cannot believe your faith more even if you are going to have your body smashed into pieces and to endure sufferings on the way to Western Paradise. If one day you finally arrive at that Nalanda Temple and see those buddhas in Western Paradise with your sincere heart, and find out that they aren¡¯t as good as you thought before, and realize that the ¡°virtue and morality¡± in their slogans doesn¡¯t always go along with their actions which they help the evils and hurt the good, what will you do?¡¯


    The little monk lifts his white-bun-like face looking up at me, with his eyes wet. After a while, he says: ¡®Sister, you are wrong.¡¯


    ¡®Since all buddhas came from human hearts, how can they be perfect? I believe that all the weaknesses in humans can be found in buddhas as well. Yet, buddhas have loving-kindness and passion for all that they want to do better. I think that, since I always do wrong things, then buddhas must be always doing the wrong things as well. It is nothing unusual.¡¯


    ¡®However, if a man has gone on the wrong path, he cannot return. Buddhas have a sincere heart that no matter how many times they have gone on the wrong path, they will go back to their original point to start over and retry. I think, this is why buddhas are great.¡¯


    He tilts his head and thinks seriously: ¡®People always imagine buddhas to be invincible, because humans have too many weaknesses. They are afraid of their own weaknesses, so they imagine buddhas to be perfect, but where can we find a perfect being in the world?¡¯


    ¡®I think, it is because of the weaknesses from humans, buddhas can be so glary, because buddhas weren¡¯t buddhas at the beginning. Buddhas are buddhas only when they are in human hearts. Humans are scared of aging and death, so they created buddhas to worship. If humans no longer have such vague imaginations in their life, how can they keep struggling for a living in this world full of aging beings and death?¡¯


    He sees that I haven¡¯t talked, so he reaches out to pat me: ¡®I know. You are afraid that I thought too na?ve of things that I would be upset if things turned out to be not as good. You are so nice to me. What a good person you are!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I hope that you will still think that I am a good person when you arrive at Western Paradise¡­¡­


    The little monk looks at me honestly: ¡®I have understood all your words. But sister, look, humans have also created many deities who have nothing close to being kind except for buddhas! They are bloody and cruel and full of weaknesses just like humans! I think that a good person like you who always burns incense in the temples will think that deities are just statues made of rocks and stones, but I don¡¯t think in this way. I think that deities are like a mirror. Deities are like what humans are like. I think, if humans are so good, how come deities be bad? Don¡¯t you agree?¡¯


    I believe in the sincerity of Xuan Zang that it will be wrong to do more to test them.


    I am going to leave here but both his eyes shine, and he says to me: ¡®Don¡¯t worry. Even if all the buddhas in Western Paradise are bad, I still know one who is good!¡¯


    I have a nameless feeling and I respond unconsciously: ¡®Ah?¡¯


    The little monk shows an admiring look: ¡®It is Guanyin sister! Guanyin sister is so good! She always come to save me whenever I am in trouble! She is the No.1 kind person in the world!¡¯


    Feeling guilty, I look at my dress.


    I think this thought of his is a timed bomb. It will suddenly cause his high-rise of faith to collapse.


    The little monk¡¯s eyes are beaming: ¡®Guanyin sister is not only a good person, she is also powerful! She is nothing like that of my arrogant disciple who said he had made havoc in Heaven but in fact he couldn¡¯t fight anyone. He always asked for help from Guanyin sister!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    To be honest, I almost cry being touched by his words.


    It is like your spoiled child finally matures. I am so touched.


    Before I can say anything, he is frightened: ¡®Pretty sister, why are you crying? Did I say anything wrong?¡¯ As he is saying, he wipes my tears hurry-scurry: ¡®Don¡¯t cry. You will look less pretty if your tears trickle down your face!¡¯


    I touch my tears and am gratified: ¡®I am touched by your thoughts. Be a good human. Don¡¯t bother or chat to others for nothing to avoid bad luck.¡¯


    I thought he would finally listen to my words. He was wiping the tears for me, but he clenches both his fists looking at the sky firmly: ¡®No! I must talk and speak out! I will speak out when I see wrong things! I will speak out when I see bad people! Word is my weapon! Language is my sword! It is a ray of light for me to poke through the hypocrisy! If not, how can they realize their faults and correct their behavior!?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Oh, go on and keep talking. I shall leave here first.


    Before I could turn around to leave, he grabs my hand and says to me: ¡®Let me take you to my disciple! I will ask him to see if you have any yokais at home!¡¯


    He drags me all the way to where Sun Wukong is.


    I am afraid things will be a mess when we really meet that monkey.


    The monkey is holding his cudgel in his arms bored under the shade of a tree. He tilts his head and leans upon the trunk, sidelong glancing at the unwilling pretty female acted by Manjusri.


    Manjusri stands straight with an impatient look with a pamphlet in his hands, saying the words on it one after one: ¡®I can also offer you a home and food. Why don¡¯t you accept this?¡¯


    Sun Wukong looks at the sky hopelessly: ¡®No, no, I have said NO!¡¯


    Manjusri with a pen in his hand, carefully crosses out this line and flips to the next page. He goes on saying rigidly without a facial expression: ¡®How about that I can give birth to your children?¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Sun Wukong: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Little Xuan Zang: ¡®Disciple! Go and see if they have any yokais in the villa!¡¯


    Sun Wukong immediately follows his shifu and escapes from Manjusri without looking back.


    Manjusri still holds his pamphlet in his hand and lifts his eyebrows confidently at me: ¡®Didn¡¯t I do a good job? I have listed fifty-one conditions to him!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­Not bad. Let¡¯s go to see how Samantabhadra is doing. I think all of them are sincere. They should be fine.¡¯


    We are talking here and there the little monk pops his head pointing at the water on tiptoe as he pulls Sun Wukong¡¯s sleeve: ¡®The one with three eyes! I really saw it! There was one with three eyes!¡¯


    Sun Wukong is being pulled and he carelessly looks at the pond. He looks at me and shrugs. His meaning is clear: What do you want me to do now?


    Before I could hint to him, Manjusri says: ¡®Why does the monkey look at you? You guys are very close. Did he recognize you?¡¯


    I will never admit this so I just bullshit: ¡®He isn¡¯t looking at me. He is obviously trying to say love to you with his eyes. Manjusri, you did a good job.¡¯


    Manjusri confused searches in his pamphlet with a pen in his mouth. He looks up and down at the lines he just crossed out and he doesn¡¯t understand which line hit Sun Wukong.


    After a while, he points at the last line blankly: ¡®Does he want someone to have children with him? This is also a possible situation. Why don¡¯t we spend more time testing him on this?¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I really just framed myself.


    At this moment, Xuan Zang suddenly jumps and points somewhere in the water: ¡®There! There! The one with three eyes there!¡¯


    Sun Wukong stands by the water lazily and he squints his eyes deceptively shaking his head: ¡®I didn¡¯t see it. Shifu, do you need to see an eye doctor?¡¯


    Xuan Zang is anxious, so he runs to me to pull me away from Manjusri to the water: ¡®Pretty sister, did you see that fish with three eyes?¡¯


    I think whenever he says, ¡°Pretty sister¡±, Sun Wukong actually shivers with a despondent look.


    I say: ¡®Where? I didn¡¯t see it. Could you point at it again?¡¯


    Xuan Zang gets into a flap: ¡®Ah!! It must have swum away!¡¯


    Sun Wukong listlessly leans upon a wall nearby with his cudgel in his arms and a random grass in his mouth: ¡®Shifu, if you really saw a yokai here, then after that you were pointing here and there, it will have run away because it is scared of me. Why would it still appear in your eyesight to seek death?¡¯


    The little monk is a stubborn one and he will never apologize so he stomps the ground: ¡®I did see it!¡¯


    Sun Wukong shrugs at me helplessly.


    I don¡¯t think things are going on the right track. Although this monkey has been with the little monk for a while, he doesn¡¯t understand the real personality of the Golden Cicada. He is the kind of person who will always think he is right and no matter how you treat him, he will not change his mind.


    It may be fine if you don¡¯t refute him, he may secretly change his behavior. If you refute him, he will prove to you that he is right even if he is going to jump to a pot of boiling oil.


    Within my expectation, right after Sun Wukong¡¯s words, Xuan Zang squats down by the water determinedly in a huff: ¡®You will see! I will find it out here for you and I will be here until I find it out!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­To be honest, aren¡¯t you scared if that yokai jumps out to eat you after we leave? Maybe this is his scheme. If you stay here and catch a cold at night, you won¡¯t be able to go on to the journey.¡¯


    Sun Wukong looks at me speechlessly for a while, and then he pats my shoulder as if he really understands me with emotional eyes.


    I am a bit flustered: ¡®Why do you look at me like this?¡¯


    Sun Wukong pats my shoulder again and he lowers his voice: ¡®Bodhisattva, living like you is too much trouble.¡¯


    At the thought of this, I realize I am very experienced on raising kids. I tried to amuse Huian since he was little. When he took off all his clothes to jump into the lotus pond, I had to run as fast as I could to refloat him and told him that the pond is thousands of miles deep. I still had to listened to his crying and complaints: ¡®Shifu doesn¡¯t let Huian take a shower!¡¯


    He would climb up to the tip of the bamboos to see the moon at midnight and I had to fly over and pick him back, telling him that if he fell off, his brain would be like a smashed watermelon. I even had to watch how he was crying and clinching to the bamboos unwilling to leave: ¡®What about the bamboos? It will be pitiful if they fall off!¡¯


    When he reached his legs to Manjusri¡¯s mount Blue Lion¡¯s mouth, I had to force its sharp teeth apart by my hands and terrified take him out, telling that this lion was still wild that it would swallow him, and no one could save him if he was swallowed. Who knew that he even clinched to that lion which was going to eat him: ¡®But Lion is a good friend of Huian!¡¯


    ¡­¡­I spent time and effort on raising him from a baby to a young man. Then he ungratefully left me without telling me.


    Ayyy, to pacify this Xuan Zang is too easy compared to trying to amuse Huian.


    After my words, the little monk touches his head squatting by the water for a while. He blinks his eyes looking at me feeling wronged: ¡®Really?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Don¡¯t worry. My family has been living here for decades. We haven¡¯t seen any yokais. If there are any, it must be coming at you. You should really stay with your disciple and don¡¯t treat him bad.¡¯


    Beyond my imagination, that stubborn Xuan Zang looks at me and eats his thumb while he is murmuring: ¡®Pretty sister¡¯s words sound reasonable¡­¡­¡¯


    Oh my! How could I just persuade the reincarnation of the Golden Cicada! It must be the outcome of the accumulation of all my positive karma!¡¯


    I almost couldn¡¯t keep my laugh from bursting out at this moment. I wanted to drag Tathagata, Jade Emperor, Lishan Mother, Samantabhadra and Manjusri here to show them that I the first being in the world who has just changed the mind of the Golden Cicada who is tougher than a rock!


    Before I could express my happiness, Xuan Zang shows a determined look: ¡®Since then, I shall not make this yokai easy! Wukong! Tonight you will stay here with me by this pond! We will stay here until it comes out! I am going to see whether if a legitimate Buddhist like I or this fish yokai have more patience!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Your idea is really legitimate.


    Fine, you win.


    You are the reincarnation of the bastard Golden Cicada. Your temper can be tough like this and no one can change your mind.


    Sun Wukong had been walking for a long time and Xuan Zang was on the horse during daytime and sleeping somewhere at night. Sun Wukong is already tired, and you still asked him to watch this pond with you till midnight? You really have feelings.


    Sun Wukong says: ¡®Shifu, what¡¯s wrong with having three eyes? You can¡¯t disdain others just because they have one extra eye. Doesn¡¯t Yang Jian the Erlang Shen also have an extra eye? Do you also disdain him?¡¯


    So what? This little monk will not listen to words. He will be staying here and insist on his point.


    I am already used to this scene, so I just let them go. I am going to take Manjusri to see how Samantabhadra is doing.


    These four people except for Zhu Bajie, are all sincere. There is no object. Also, the Sand monk is an honest guy. Honest guys are trustful. How can he have a problem?


    As soon as Samantabhadra finishes the Sand monk, we can go home and none of us shall recall this unfortunate incident. We shall return to our peaceful schedule.


    Who knows that before we could step in their courtyard, we hear a cry out from the Sand monk. His choking sobbing voice spreads from the distance: ¡®I had worked for the Mother Queen of the West for thousands of years! They drove me to the Earth just because I broke a vase! They ruined my appearance and they stabbed through my heart with flying swords!¡¯


    He is choking and sobbing as he is speaking: ¡®They didn¡¯t even pay me! They just took away all my savings of thousands of years!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    He says again: ¡®I feel pains in my heart, but who can I talk to after being condemned by Heaven!? I came out to receive the scriptures with shifu and I wanted to tell my sorrows to my fellow, but he said he didn¡¯t even take his five-hundred-years beneath the Five Element Mountain so hard like I do! But the reason why he was imprisoned there is because he rebelled against the Jade Emperor, what about me?! I worked solely for Heaven and why did they treat me like that!¡¯


    We realize that things have gone wrong, so we rush in. Samantabhadra is sitting next to the Sand monk patting his shoulder to comfort him: ¡®Well, you are now freed. Don¡¯t be sad anymore.¡¯


    The Sand monk sadly wipes his tear: ¡®No one noticed me. Even my shifu and my fellows just wanted me to carry the luggage, but now you listen to my words. You are the best in the world.¡¯


    Then, he hugs Samantabhadra right after and cries out: ¡®You are my soulmate!¡¯


    Samantabhadra: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    I am a bit worried, so I hurry to as Manjusri: ¡®His action isn¡¯t violating the sex precept, is it?¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®He is just treating Samantabhadra as a friend. Making friends is not a violation of any precepts. His sense of existence is too dim that he seeks attention.¡¯


    I am relieved and say: ¡®Good. They will be leaving tomorrow. Nothing can go wrong.¡¯


    Right after my words, the Sand monk sobs: ¡®No matter how hard I try, no one notices me. I think that even if I one day arrive at Western Paradise, no one will care for me. You are different. You are willing to listen to my words. You are my soulmate. I am not leaving here!¡¯


    ¡­¡­What?


    The Sand monk decidedly says: ¡®I am not going to receive the scriptures! I shall stay here!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Samantabhadra shivers: ¡®Please don¡¯t. Please go to receive the scriptures.¡¯


    The Sand monk says more decidedly: ¡®No! I have lived for thousands of years to gain a friend like you! I am willing to give up my enlightenment to just be a labor for you here!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Things have gone too wrong.


    Manjusri says: ¡®No, no! We can¡¯t go back any time soon now! This is all Lishan Mother¡¯s fault! Now we really test their problems! When can we be freed?¡¯


    I say: ¡®You even thought about going home? Don¡¯t you be afraid that this Sand monk will not go on the journey and just mutate to a bloodsucking killer demon after he finds out that his only soulmate in his thousands of years is a liar to him?!

 Zhu Bajie the Poet

    Three of us are trying to come up with a solution, and Lishan Mother walks in with all the schadenfreude written on her face. She says: ¡®I have told you guys that we needed to test their sincerity! See, Zhu Bajie still hasn¡¯t changed his lascivious tendency. Now he wants to marry into our family and he even called me ¡°Mother!¡±¡¯


    At the last word of that, she couldn¡¯t help laughing to shaking, leaning herself onto a pillar: ¡®How amusing! I shall remind him of this thing when one day he is assigned to be a buddha!¡¯


    We stare at her laugh and none of us speak out.


    Lishan Mother laughs and she sees that we don¡¯t look amused. She cannot keep laughing in this situation, so she looks at us embarrassed: ¡®What¡¯s up? Why do you all have such despondent faces? Didn¡¯t you finish your task?¡¯


    Samantabhadra looks at her and pulls my sleeve: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, you shall speak for us.¡¯


    I say: ¡®What do I say? You speak for yourself.¡¯


    Samantabhadra will not let go of my sleeve: ¡®You are the smartest among us. If you don¡¯t help me, who can help me? We have known each other for many years. You cannot leave me alone like this.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Just hold to your time-wasting talks and I am going to say it.¡¯


    Then, he seriously and righteously says: ¡®Sun Wukong wants a son, possibly.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Lishan Mother says: ¡®What¡¯s the matter? This is a normal feeling. It is fine.¡¯


    After that, she looks at me and asks: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, how is Xuan Zang?¡¯


    I say: ¡®He is great. He has a hard mind that he solely wants to receive the scriptures and then to enlighten all the beings.¡¯


    Lishan Mother is going to move her eyes to Samantabhadra while Samantabhadra suddenly buries his face in my sleeve. No matter how Lishan Mother calls him, he just doesn¡¯t come out.


    Well, I have no choice but to speak for him: ¡®Others are all good, but Sha Wujing doesn¡¯t want to go on anymore. Lishan, you shall clean this mess.¡¯


    Lishan Mother is shocked: ¡®How? Sha Wujing is the safest among those four people! He is honest and hard-working. How come he has a problem now?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Yes he is honest, but he also has thousands of years of anger. After working hard for Heaven for thousands of years, he was over-punished and exiled. Now, he doesn¡¯t have a sense of existence in the team either. Of course that he wants to give up.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®I have said it. Just leave them alone. Why do we need to test them? If we didn¡¯t test them, we won¡¯t be able to let his grudge out. Now he doesn¡¯t have greed or lust and he is still sincere, but he just doesn¡¯t want to keep on the journey anymore. Lishan Mother, this is your plan and you shall fix it.¡¯


    Samantabhadra wants to say something but he is not good at ideas. He looks at me and looks at Lishan Mother. After a while, he just says: ¡®Guanyin is always right!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    He turns around and sees that Manjusri is also looking at him, so he hurries to add: ¡®Manjusri is also right! I support them!¡¯


    Three of us have formed a united battle line one after the other. Confirmed, we look at Lishan Mother and no one wants to step back.


    Lishan Mother is being stared at by the three of us for a while and she says: ¡®Fine! Since Guanyin is always right, Guanyin shall solve this thing! Able people should do more work! Guanyin, you know him the best. Go and persuade him to continue the journey.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Ayyy, I am not dumb. This wasn¡¯t caused by me so why me? The only being who can order me is Buddha. Since everyone is free here, why don¡¯t we report this to Buddha and see what he thinks?¡¯


    Hearing this, Lishan Mother pauses, and she hurries to stop me: ¡®I don¡¯t think such a trivial thing is necessary to be reported to a busy being like him!¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Why do you ask Guanyin to do everything? Does our Western Paradise only have Guanyin? You raised this plan so why don¡¯t you do it? You will get the merit anyway and no matter what we do, we are just your background.¡¯


    Samantabhadra firmly holds onto my sleeve and says: ¡®Yes! Both of them are right!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Lishan Mother gives up on us and she sadly says: ¡®Fine! I will go and do it by myself!¡¯


    After that, she turns around and leaves as if she is going to sacrifice her life.


    The room falls back to silence again.


    ¡­¡­


    Manjusri: ¡®This is not our fault. This is like: a wife pays a pretty girl to try her best to seduce her husband and at the same time she doesn¡¯t want him to cheat. This is not fair. If they want to receive the scriptures, they shall be able to. If not, they shall have the freedom to not go. Letting others to go through so many difficulties and then testing them with secular attractions are so hypocritical. This is not a virtuous act.¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®Yes, you are right.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Manjusri, why are you so radical? Maybe she just wants to see us in women¡¯s dress.¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Samantabhadra is shocked: ¡®This idea was brought up by her and I thought this was a great idea!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    We look at each other. Manjusri says: ¡®Okay, we shall never talk about this incident ever in the future. We¡¯d better not talk about this within a few thousands of years.¡¯


    After a while, Samantabhadra suddenly says: ¡®What will Lishan Mother do?¡¯


    Manjusri is no an ordinary radical: ¡®How will I know? She never comes up with a good plan. Probably she will marry you to Sha Wujing and just a few days later you will ¡°die¡± a violent death caused by a random yokai from somewhere. After that, he shall be cut clean from the secular world again.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    All of us begin to be anxious.


    This is really something that can be done by Lishan Mother!


    We are getting more scared and we decide to go out to watch what is going on in the backyard.


    We walk to that room and hear Sha Wujing saying: ¡®Madam, you misunderstood me. I didn¡¯t mean to marry your daughter. I just want to pay her back because she is nice to me. I was a deity for thousands of years and a yokai for hundreds of years, during which no one ever cared for me. Your girl is so nice that I can only be a labor here to work for her in order to pay for our meeting. However, I have promised Nanhai Guanyin that I would guard my shifu to Western Paradise. I have become a Buddhist. If I marry someone on Earth, it will be ungrateful of me. I cannot do this.¡¯


    I am touched by his sincerity.


    Manjusri says: ¡®If she asked me to solve this, I will just let them sleep for a night and show our true identity. If he is lascivious, he will repent. If he just wants to pay back, he will be more earnest on the journey. This should be a simple task. How could she make this so complex?¡¯


    At this moment, Lishan Mother says: ¡®You just don¡¯t want to marry my girl, right?¡¯


    Sha Wujing says anxiously: ¡®I just want to be nice to her and pay back! I have no other intention! I am not greedy or whatever! I swear!¡¯


    I say: ¡®We cannot just watch this here. She is doing a sting operation which if known by others, will do no good to our Western Paradise¡¯s face!¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®This sounds easy, but it will be hard to stop her performance! She just wants to find some fun because she is bored of being a deity for a long time! Guanyin, you are the smartest among us. If you can manage this, I will back you up with everyone in my Wutai Mountain if Li Jing is going to argue with you about his son!¡¯This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Well, now I have got everyone from both Emei Mountain and Wutai Mountain. Strangers will probably think I am going to start a gang fight.


    I: ¡®Really?¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Really. We will agree with whatever you say. If the Heavenly King Li dares to say no, I can take everyone with me to the Heavenly South Gate!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Please don¡¯t do this.


    After all, we have had this peaceful relation with Heaven for thousands of years. Tathagata likes to make horrible ideas and plans together with Jade Emperor. If you fight Li Jing, it will signal a declaration of war. By that time, Tathagata will not find someone who can make horrible ideas or plans with him. He will be very upset.


    Solving this incident can be difficult but it can also be easy.


    I say to both of them: ¡®There is an easy way. There is also a difficult way. The easy way will lead to more troubles, but the difficult way will clean every mess.¡¯


    Samantabhadra drags my sleeve immediately: ¡®Guanyin, don¡¯t keep us in suspense! We aren¡¯t your followers!¡¯


    I say: ¡®Let¡¯s talk about the difficult one. We shall knock Lishan Mother out and send her back to her base. Then, we also come back home and just leave these monks here.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®¡­¡­The aftereffect will be scary. Let¡¯s not do this.¡¯


    I say: ¡®Well, the easy way will be asking for help from the little monk Xuan Zang to let him chat to Lishan Mother. I believe that no one can survive in round 1.¡¯


    Manjusri and Samantabhadra glares eyes big and both say: ¡®This is a good solution!¡¯


    I look at them amiably: ¡®So, who will go to ask the little monk?¡¯


    They look at each other and both step back.


    ¡­¡­


    In conclusion after our discussion, the problem shall be solved by the problem-causer, Samantabhadra. However, he says that he is scared of the Golden Cicada the most. Although he is not afraid of his chatting ability, he feels uncomfortable when the Golden Cicada being touched by his own words has wet eyes looking at him.


    Samantabhadra is too kind. He cannot bear others¡¯ tears and his sense of guilt will kill him.


    We don¡¯t believe in his excuse, so we reject him and ask him to do this task.


    Samantabhadra has to do it anyway. He carefully transforms to the girl to make sure he looks exactly like the previous transformation, and then he goes to search for Xuan Zang. He walks to the house where the four monks live. Before he can put his foot in, he is pulled aside by someone behind a tall tree.


    Zhu Bajie stands there with his big fat belly and he sniffs his pig nose, shly covering his face with his pig ears: ¡®Aiai sister, I know you like me. To be honest, Old Zhu likes you as well, but shifu is too stubborn and he doesn¡¯t allow me to stay.¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    After a while, Manjusri says: ¡®We don¡¯t even know who has what names made by Lishan Mother, but this stupid pig can distinguish.¡¯


    I say to Manjusri: ¡®By the way, I think Lishan Mother is not 100% wrong. We have been a deity for too long and we have not seen such an amusing scene for thousands of years. Just this plot is enough for me to laugh for three hundreds of years.¡¯


    Manjusri says expressionless: ¡®It is enough for me to laugh for five hundreds of years.¡¯


    We both share our eyesight with Samantabhadra. We can see what he sees, and he can hear what we say. Now he hears our chat and says: ¡®Can¡¯t you just laugh together!?¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®No, I need to save it and laugh a little at it bit by bit.¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Zhu Bajie is scared by Samantabhadra¡¯s confusing words and he looks around: ¡®Sister, what were you talking about?¡¯


    He has checked that there is no one else here and he takes out a letter from his chest, giving it to Samantabhadra affectedly: ¡®I wrote this letter with the blood from my beating heart. Please don¡¯t drop it!¡¯


    After that, his eyes are wet from parting sorrow and he straightens his body, walking away.


    Samantabhadra opens the letter after he has gone. A few lines written with blood are on the letter:


    ¡°My love, it is our fate of meeting but not of staying together. High hills and waving waters shall separate us. May you keep this letter from me. As long as the Sun and the Moon are there, the wisp of my affection will not diminish.¡±


    Samantabhadra says feelingly: ¡®I didn¡¯t know this Zhu Bajie knew how to write poems. I am now also a guy who has received a love letter!¡¯


    I: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®No, I have to watch him. He cannot think well, and he will get lost in this!¡¯


    After what, he pushes the door to walk out, but he is also being dragged aside by a hand to under a tree. He looks back and sees Zhu Bajie.


    Zhu Bajie bashfully covering his pig face and says: ¡®Zhenzhen sister, you probably won¡¯t believe it, but I have fallen in love with you at the first sight¡­¡­¡¯


    Samantabhadra: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®¡­¡­¡¯


    Alone in the room, I laugh and roll on the ground, almost breaking my breath: ¡®Hahaha! I can laugh at this for eight hundreds of years!¡¯


    Manjusri gnashes: ¡®Guanyin bodhisattva, our friendship is over. Fuck off.¡¯


    Zhu Bajie didn¡¯t hear this and he is still immersed in his own mind sadly: ¡®You cannot abandon your family rules whereas I cannot break my precepts. We could have been a couple, but the secular must be away from the monks. I wish I could have met you before I became a monk. Too late.¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®¡­¡­Guanyin, I guess you can laugh at this for all your life.¡¯


    I say seriously: ¡®No, this scene is moving. I will be touched for a long time.¡¯


    Zhu Bajie takes out another letter from his chest to Manjusri: ¡®I hope we can meet each other after a hundred years!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    Manjusri says: ¡®Ok, I have to agree with Samantabhadra¡¯s idea that we should ban our coworkers from crying. We can change this rule to ¡°Ugly people cannot cry¡±.¡¯


    Zhu Bajie walks away and Manjusri opens the letter on which a few lines are written:


    ¡°My fate of blue lanterns and Buddhist statues of loneliness has been decorated by you like stars in a night sky. Even though the distance between you and me is more than a universe, I can feel the warm coldness you sent to me. Darkness everywhere, but your glow slices through the sky and cuddles my frozen body.


    My love, I wish we will have such a karma in our next life. You shall be at this side of the sea and I will be at the origin of the rivers. May my love go through mountains and hills, through hundreds of thousands of rivers, coming to your feet. You shall see the shadow of reflection of our previous life by then.¡¯


    Manjusri: ¡®¡­¡­I actually think he writes well.¡¯


    After a while, Manjusri says: ¡®No, I cannot let him pass.¡¯


    Relaxed in the room, I jump up after hearing his words: ¡®Ah!?¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®You need to go out as well. Zhu Bajie must have a letter for you too.¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®Yes. I am shameless now. If you don¡¯t go out, I will throw you out.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Troubles will never come alone. Guanyin, do you think you can avoid this? Hurry up to get your love letter!¡¯


    This Zhu Bajie has a deep root of feelings for every pretty girl he sees. He likes one when he sees one, and he thinks every one of those girls likes him. What a pig he is!


    Thinking in this way, I believe that I should go out as well. If only I don¡¯t have a love letter while two of them have, it will be embarrassing for me.


    Therefore, I walk out as well to embrace my fate.


    I think a balance can stimulate our friendships.


    However, as soon as I open the door and Zhu Bajie standing under a tree sees me. His resting ears suddenly rise up due to some random stimulants and he jumps high, running away as if I was a ghost.


    ???


    WHAT?


    Am I scary?


    In order to not be laughed at by Manjusri and Samantabhadra, I call him: ¡®Little Zhanglao, where are you hurrying to?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie is stopped by my call and his body freezes. He doesn¡¯t turn to me, but he walks backward with sweat carefully: ¡®Girl, what¡¯s up?¡¯


    I say: ¡®Why don¡¯t you walk like a normal person? Why were you running? Did you do something bad?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie looks at the ground nervously: ¡®No, I didn¡¯t.¡¯


    I say: ¡®What a coincidence! My room faces the courtyard and the pond as well. I just saw you giving a letter to my eldest sister and then another letter to my second sister. Where is mine?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie grits his teeth and looks at me, sighing: ¡®Ay!! You didn¡¯t know it! Old Zhu also has¡ª¡¯


    He pauses and looks around painfully: ¡®Old Zhu is afraid of nothing but my fellow. That horse breeder monkey is not a reasonable one. Although I like you, I don¡¯t dare to take you from him!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    Although I like to tsukkomi, there are too many things I can pick at from his words and at this moment I don¡¯t know where I should start with.


    What kind of misunderstanding does he have of his fellow that he defamed him so much?


    Manjusri says: ¡®Okay, I can laugh at this for all my life.¡¯


    Samantabhadra says: ¡®I will save it until they arrive at Western Paradise successfully.¡¯


    Manjusri says: ¡®Guanyin, you are so cute. I will be happy whenever I think of you from now on. You are such a treasure of Western Paradise.¡¯


    Samantabhadra is stubborn and says: ¡®Why don¡¯t you ask him again if he has a letter for you as well?¡¯


    Wow, you two really have leisure time, but you are just standing in front of their house and one standing in the courtyard without any pretending. Aren¡¯t you afraid of being recognized?


    I was going to ask them to hide, but Zhu Bajie catches my hand, his tear falling down his pig skin: ¡®Although I am a born lover, I will not take my fellow¡¯s girl!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­


    Do you have any misunderstanding of the word ¡°Girl¡±?


    I think that it is probably because he saw me with Sun Wukong. The monkey is not stupid enough to uncover my true identity in front of Zhu Bajie. Since I the Guanyin is here, the other three will be no less than me, so he just drove him away. This Zhu Bajie never gives up his secular desire, but he thinks every other monk is like him. What a logical pig he is!


    Manjusri cannot hide his joy from his voice. He is a radical who seldom laughs: ¡®Guanyin, you are really made of jokes.¡¯


    I cannot hear clearly what Samantabhadra is saying. He is probably already rolling on the ground.


    Now I have understood why Lishan Mother asked us to cross-dress.


    At the end, Zhu Bajie let go of my hand and walked away looking-back per step. He says sadly: ¡®I know I shouldn¡¯t do this, but I cannot keep it down¡ª¡¯


    I: ¡®Okay, be off.¡¯


    Zhu Bajie: ¡®???¡¯


    I though this would be over but he stops walking. He looks to me and walks back with few steps affectedly: ¡®I thought I could put up with this parting sorrow, yet at the moment when you cursed me, I am sure that you are no ordinary girl. You are different. I have fallen in love with you!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    I smile: ¡®If you don¡¯t let go of me, I will chop your pig head off to cook a dish.¡¯


    Zhu Bajie shivers and kneels to the ground crying: ¡®Then I am willing to cook for you! You are a unique one in my life! I cannot lose you! Even if you beat me, curse me, or even want to kill me, I can only let my soul be closer to you! I shall never leave you!¡¯


    ¡­¡­


    You are such a pig of feelings.


    I ask: ¡®Do you let go or not?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie cries hard: ¡®No! Now I knew it, but it is too late, but I won¡¯t leave you no matter what you say!¡¯


    I: ¡®Let go or not?¡¯


    Zhu Bajie says determinedly: ¡®No! Never!¡¯


    Manjusri regrets: ¡®I shouldn¡¯t have left there. Why would I walk so far away?¡¯


    Samantabhadra¡¯s voice makes me doubt that he is already laughing on the ground: ¡®Hahahahahahahahaha¡­¡­¡¯


    I press my aching head looking at that crying fat pig and say in despair: ¡®Which one of you two is closer to Xuan Zang¡¯s house? Get the monkey here please.¡¯


    Xuan Zang: ¡®Disciple, why are the girls laughing outside the house? I think they were saying ¡°Guanyin¡± or something.¡¯


    Sun Wukong covering his ears: ¡®No, I am not, and I didn¡¯t.¡¯


    Sun Wukong being punished to face the corner of the wall: ¡®I really know nothing about this¡­¡­¡¯