《Journey Of A Stoner》 Just let me take a hit hello people it''s your one, your only!! Your favorite young stoner. Derrick Stone, yes ironic my last name is stone, wait let me stop breaking the 4th wall so we can begin the story¡­ later!!! ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ A young man of 19 years old is currently walking down the street enjoying the musical buzz of his bluetooth headphones. The young man has a lazy content smile on his face not most can have it''s a smile only so few have the experience of truly showing because of morality and standards put on them by their parents. The young man is leaving school and heading to the park to enjoy the peacefulness of nature, when he suddenly hears a loud yell over his headphones he pulls the headphones down and looks around. ¡°Derrick!! hey bro are you hopping on Twilight Siege tonight? They''re bringing back an old map and I know some mad angles you might like.¡± says a young man around the same age as Derrick after getting his attention. Derrick turns around and flashes a goofy smile and says. ¡°Yeah sure man we''ll have a good time just rally up the rest of the squad I''m gonna chill in the park for a while.¡± ¡°Alright man keep on your hoodie though, I hear it''s gonna get a little chilly later don''t wantcha getting sick.¡± ¡°Alright man thanks have a safe trip home.¡± Derrick responses with a lazy goodbye and wave, he continues his trip to the park and arrives in a little less than 5 minutes. Derrick sits on his favorite bench and opens up his backpack and takes out a capsule and a pack of cigarillos. He breaks down the blunt and pops open his capsule and spreads his ¡°Mary Jane¡± all over the blunt and rolls what he calls a fatty, he does all this with the ease of an expert. ¡°Ahh!! My beautiful blunt you smell heavenly look at how green you are Mary Jane, positively glowing with nature''s abundance are kids on the way?Hehe.¡± Derrick takes out a dragon decorated lighter after having a weird one sided conversation with his weed and Sparks it. He takes a long and exaggerated inhale truly tasting and savoring the flavor of his platinum glue he calls Mary Jane, though all weed to him is Mary Jane, it''s just a name too him. He exhales only to quickly inhale all of it again and holds it then exhales and breathes it in through his nose. ¡°Oh yeah baby that''s the kicker, who says god isn''t green and weed is bad for you? This is heaven sent all I need is these headphones and my weed and I''ll truly be content.¡± *Random class generation begins in 5 seconds* "Hm? Random huh? Who''s trying to kill the vibe? I''m enjoying myself? This young stoner is just enjoying nature don''t kill the high random noise¡± Derrick talks to empty air in a goofy manner, little does he know his fate was just decided. The class generation stops and he get a message directly to his mind. *Congratulations Derrick Stone your class has been decided you are from this moment on The Stoner, show the world the true beauty of greenery, reminder!! This is a one of a kind class that besides you no one can have, you will be the first and last Stoner!*Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°.....well that''s fucking cool I guess I''m the stoner till I die and after huh? Hahahaha fuck yeah baby I''m the Stoner¡­.wait what does that even mean?.¡± *Ding* *You can check your status and skills by saying show stats or skills, you have 10 minutes to prepare for the impending apocalypse your world will be facing enjoy the cluster fuck your about to experience and good luck Derrick Stone you and this world will need it* ¡°Well isn''t that interface thingy nice he or she wished me luck¡­.haha oh this is about to be fucking bad let me just take a hit of this blunt *sounds of inhaling* ahhh...that is some good stuff now let''s see this status thingy¡± ¡°Show Stats¡± Name: Derrick Stone Level 1 Class:The Stoner Title:Young Stoner HP: 100%. MP: 100%. STA:100% STR: 12 AGI: 11 DEX:19 CHA:5 ¡°......I hope my stats are at least average...why is my charm so low, I''m a pretty nice guy with a devilish smile why is it 5...is someone making fun of me?¡± Derrick continues too complain to thin air about his apparently low charm, if only he would take time and try not to smell like nothing but weed then maybe it would be different. ¡° *Sigh* anyways¡­.let''s check my skills they better be dope¡± *Show skills* Weed generation: The ability to grow and create different strains of weed by interbreeding, can grow weed that has been inhaled by your body, can give weeds random qualities and attributes through thought, conjures out of thin air. Smoke Manipulation: Can control and manipulate smoke at whim can control weed smoke with relative ease any other smokes takes apparent effort to grasp and control. Smoke Entity: you are and will always be smoke can shapeshift your body into smoke at will, increased speed when in Smoke Entity reduce attacking power reduced drastically in this state. ¡°......hahaha oh fucking yeah!!!! This is crazy fucking dope I can make weed out thin air? Oh this is gonna be so fucking fun *takes hit* ahh!! And I can turn into smoke? Well I wonder if my smoke is weed smoke or regular smoke? And can I make people High from my smoke? Oh so many questions so little time to answer them!¡± Derrick is more than thrilled about his stats and skills to him he was blessed. The powers granted to him fit his personality perfectly. ¡°.....I wonder if I have an inventory¡­.being able to make weed is cool and all but I can''t really do shit without a blunt..¡± *Ding* *Inventory* Everlasting Blunt: you can smoke it to the bud but it will instantly regrow till it''s new and fresh. 10 Gold: it''s just gold...there''s nothing special about it duntz. ¡°Well that''s convenient so I guess we get like a class item and gold? That''s nice of the interface thingy at least I''m not broke *takes hit* phew...so I don''t really know what to do.¡± As Derric waits for the apocalypse, he subconsciously makes shapes and animals out of his weed smoke he exhales, just enjoying the last peaceful moment before this world turns to shit. He adjust his beanie and slouches on the bench, for a person who knows the world impending doom is near he is way to relax. *ROAR!!!!!* "*smirks*.....and it begins let''s get busy world.¡± He stands up and walks into the distance with no apparent designation in mind. *The End* Its just a Stoners Heaven ¡°*Takes hit*..So hm? I''m curious what is this little green thing running at me?....*squints* holy shit that''s a goblin.¡± A little green monster no taller than 4 feet is currently rushing at it''s next victim, or so it thought. Derrick blows out a giant cloud of smoke completely engulfing the goblin. The goblin confused randomly swings it sword only to hit smoke. The goblin not knowing what to do suddenly gets dizzy and falls to the ground with an incredibly goofy smile on his face. The smoke suddenly disappears only to reappear near Derrick. He looks at the high goblin and smirks. ¡° Well aren''t you vibing...I wonder if I can harden my smoke you know just a thought...gimme a second gob.¡± Derrick puts his hand out keeping one hand in his hoodie pocket, the smoke travels to the palm of his hand and starts to condense into the shape of a sword. The blade looks ethereal but you can tell it''s sharp enough to cut with just a look. ¡°Haha oh yeah baby...what should I call you? You need a fitting name. I have to be able to scream it at people just for the lolz hehe. Oh!! I got it let''s call you the smoking blade!¡± Derrick satisfied with his corny but more than fitting naming sense, stabs the goblin killing it in the process, and continues his travel. Derrick is currently on route to his house... mostly because all his good weed is there. His parents should be fine considering they''re at work surrounded by colleagues. Derrick isn''t concerned with their safety nor is he concerned with his own. His motto is ¡°all will work itself out if you give it time to work out¡±. Derrick arrives in front of his house in a couple of minutes, he goes around back to the shed and opens it up. ¡°*Eyes shine* hello my babies did you miss daddy? Cuz I missed you Indica, my lovely lady Savita how are you doing today? Oh and I can''t forget my chem dawg..that''s my dawg haha yeah that''s my dawg! It''s good to be back in my weed shed.¡± *Ding*Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. *Can turn shed into personal weed storage and lab that is stored within a separate space in your inventory for 7 gold.* ¡°Hah yes baby yes do your thing system.¡± *Ding* *Request confirmed, requested accepted shed has been converted and stored, would you like to name your personal space?* ¡° Yes call it Stoner Heaven¡± *Ding* *Successfully named* ¡°*Takes hit* oh yeah baby so¡­.what should I do? I don''t really have a purpose right now besides getting high?....I need something to do...let''s just wander for a while something will find me eventually.¡± Derrick leaves his backyard that Currently no longer has a shed in search of something to do. Only to be surrounded by a group of goblins. ¡°...Well my luck must not be good *Takes hit* alright then...smoking blade let''s see how many of you I can send to space haha.¡± Derricks rushes at the goblins staying low to the ground like some anime character, still keeping his blunt in his mouth somehow. A goblin rushes at him from the front only to run through smoke, the goblin hears one of his goblin pal scream in pain and a thud. The goblin quickly turns around only to be beheaded. Derrick smirks he has taken out 2 goblin in less than 10 seconds now there''s only four left. He takes a hit of the blunt only to lean slightly back with a more than pleased expression. Derrick suddenly leans forward and turns into smoke engulfing three goblins that tried to make a sneak attack on him while he was enjoying his weed. The goblins fall to floor after struggling for a couple of seconds feeling oddly relax and sleepy. Derrick switches off Smoke Entity while looking oddly amused. He looks at the last goblin then has an idea, he takes a hit of the blunt then blows out smoke at the last goblin. The goblin suddenly gets picked up and placed into a odd looking machine that most would recognize as a guillotine. Derrick smirks at the goblin while the little creature shakes in fear. He gives the goblin one more look before snapping his fingers and saying. ¡°Hahaha SMOKING EXECUTION!!!¡± *CHING*¡° "Well that was fun¡­.Aye let''s go look for that really cute nerdy chick she must still be at school. I wonder if I get to be the White Knight saving the damsel in distress heh*goofy grin*¡± Derrick starts to skip towards the school while rolling some chemdawg in his everlasting blunt, nodding his head to the musical raps of a stoner who''s been to the Moon. ¡° Day n nite I toss and turn!!¡­." *The End* My nerdy little flower is not so nerdy *Narrative Pov* A young man dressed in black from head to toe, wearing a beanie with headphones over it is making his way towards his school without a care in the world. He''s just smoking a blunt and caterwauling ignoring all the destruction around him, like how people ignore trash on the street. ¡°I said the money made me leave her, nah the hustle made me leave her, nah the wasted time made me leave her ohhhh!!!!...wait I''m here that was fast. *takes hit*¡± Derrick arrives in front of his school and looks at it. He barely recognizes his school it looks...almost abandoned though blood curdling screams destroys that thought. He enters Smoke Entity and flows into the main school building with the only library on campus. He decided to check the library first because in his words ¡°smart people live in libraries duh?¡±. He arrives at the library and opens the door only to have a giant fist swing it''s way towards him. His weed giving him the advantage of increased perception dodges the fist with barely any room for comfort. Weed has always had the ability to slow down a person perception of time his ability allows for to adjust that. he can control how much the weed slows down or speeds up his perception. So dodging the giant fist was child play considering he knew it was coming before the door even opened. Derrick jumps back and looks at the giant monster resembling a Minotaur and says. ¡°Haha hey Minny look at you, you wanted a fist bump brotha? *Takes hit* phew¡­ I''ll give you a fist bump SMOKING PUNCH!!¡± Derrick''s smoke rapidly congeals into the shape of a giant harden fist before rushing at the minotaur with remarkable speed, bashing it into the back wall of the library. He quickly turns into smoke before zig-zagging towards the Minotaur, he swiftly turns back into a human a few feet above the downed monster takes a quick hit and falls turns the monster screaming. ¡°SMOKING HAMMER!!¡± He smashes an Ash gray Warhammer into the monster, stunning it in the process before raining a barrage of smashes on its face caving it in. The monster unable to resist the punishment quickly dies while screaming in pain and rage. Derrick looks at the dead monster then looks at the hammer then looks at the monster one more time before saying. ¡°...I think I might have gotten a little carried away sorry monsta! Nothing personal hehe *takes hit* ahh anyways where is she? I don''t see her¡­.and see probably would have came out with all the commotion... that''s assuming the monster didn''t kill her.¡± *Ding* *You have leveled up please check stats and distribute attribute points.* ¡°That''s the fourth time I''ve heard that thing? Gawd let me just do it and get it out the way¡­*takes hit* show stats.¡± Name: Derrick Stone Level: 5 Class:The Stoner Title:Young Stoner HP: 100%. MP: 100%. STA:100% STR:12 AGI: 12 DEX:23 CHA:5 AP:8 ¡°Hm¡­.why did my DEX go up? And AGI? Well whatever don''t look a gift horse in the mouth so they say *takes hit* so I have eight points? I''m guessing¡­.its Two points every level, not a bad setup no one gets strong to fast unless your class is a cheat like mine hehe.¡±If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°I wonder¡­..let''s be a Light novel protag for a second¡­.System examine the title young stoner!! *Points finger*¡± *Ding* *Title Awarded to Derrick Stone for being the first and only stoner under 20 years of age title grants the Skill Smoke Entity, plus 2 DEX every two levels, and one AGI every five levels Title also halts aging Derrick Stone will forever be the The Young Stoner, Can still be killed through normal or unique means title does not grant immortality so be caution.* ¡°Holy shit I can''t believe that worked, well that actually answers a lot of questions. System put 4 points into strength and 4 in charm. Gotta look good for the hunnies yah knaw wha I mean? Huhu yuh!¡± *Ding* *Status updated* Name: Derrick Stone Level: 5 Classs:The Stoner Title:Young Stone. HP: 100%. MP: 100%.STA:100% STR: 17 AGI: 12 DEX:23 CHA:9 AP:0 ¡°Haha yeah cool beans I wonder if I look any better? Heh I''ll find out in time *takes hit*...I gotta roll another one. Inventory withdraw chemdawg.¡± *Ding* *Successfully withdrawn* ¡°Heh thank you inventory¡­*sounds of rolling*....and done¡­.let''s burn it a little bit to make it dryer and not as damp¡­.and done!! You look so beautiful *eyes shine* Derrick lights the blunt while making his way out the library still in search of his nerdy little flower. He just decides to check her classroom, if he doesn''t find her there he decided to just try and make a new strain of weed. Derrick turns into smoke, quickly traveling down the corridors and hallways of the school. Within a couple of minutes he arrives in front of the classroom. He reverts back to human form grasping towards the door only to have the door blown of the hedges. Derrick startled quick turns into smoke letting the door pass right through him. He swiftly changes back and looks inside of the room only to see the nerdy flower who''s a not so nerdy flower now, setting Minotaurs on fire with a more then pissed off look on her face. Derrick confused and befuddled take a hit of his blunt while walking inside. The girl looks at Derrick giving him a quick glance before recognizing him and saying. ¡°Hey pothead how''s it''s going? Let me just finish up here and we can talk¡± she says with a smirk, while sending flames down the monsters throats quickly killing them. ¡°...uh *takes hit* alright Kasey¡­.wow I didn''t know a quiet girl like you who likes school could be so aggressive¡± Derrick says with goofy grin. Kasey looks at This idiot wondering how is still alive only to see smoke swirling around his body making weird shapes. She looks at him with a fierce gaze that would make normal people uncomfortable. ¡°Yeah well I''m just as surprised as you, I never would have thought you of all people would actually be alive.¡± She says with a slight grin of playfulness. ¡°Hey I should take offense I''m more than capable of keeping myself safe. This stoner right here came to make sure you were still alive¡­.what I wanna know is why are you still here? Schools been over for a while? *Takes hit*¡± Derrick says with genuine curiosity. ¡°Well I was taking a nap there''s no better thing than a school nap they''re just to die for¡­.which I literally almost just died for anyways let go it smells in here! Yuck.¡± Kasey hops over the dead monster bodies while making her way towards the door while snatching the young stoner blunt out his mouth and taking a drag of it. He just shakes his head she''s always like this. She throws him back his blunt which he swiftly catches before placing back in his mouth. ¡°So we''re are we going?¡±he asks not really caring were they go as long as he can have some fun. ¡°We''re going to my house to make sure my parents are still safe they both didn''t go to work today, they just wanted to sleep in and be cuddly like a normal couple or something mushy like that.¡± She says while taking the blunt Derrick handed her, taking a drag which she then hands back to him. ¡°Mhn alright *take hits* are you sure it''s cool I go with you your mom is cool with me, but your dad always seems to wanna pick a fight with me?¡±Derrick says with a slight chuckle. He still remembers the time her dad dropped kicked him from the stairs while screaming something like I''ll never hand over my daughter. It was a really weird first impression but one he still enjoyed nonetheless. ¡°Does it matter? You don''t have a choice,your coming whether you like it or not. We''re friends after all we take care of each other so hurry up daylight is burning.¡±she says while shooting flames from her feet fight flying towards her house. Derrick just chuckles while swiftly turning into Smoke Entity following her towards their new designation but not before saying. ¡°Your truly an amazing woman aren''t you Kasey.¡± *The End* Today Fucking sucks!! *Kasey Pov* Today has been a monumentally stupid day first I get to school late, then not only do I get hit on by some stupid jackass I find out I only got a 90% on the final exam. Today has not been my day , then!! I find out that lazy stoner of mine got 98. Like just spit in my face right? Just spit in my face life!. Woe is me I''m more than depressed. Then that idiot just looks at me while smelling heavier than Jupiter''s gravity and says. ¡°Better luck next time little flower¡± he says while winking at me. That punk he''s lucky I''m so depressed or I would mess with his backpack and take his ¡°special items¡±. whatever schools over now I''m just gonna stay here and take a nap...a nice nice nap¡­.*zzz* 2 hours later *Random class generation begins in 5 seconds* ¡°....hm? What? Class generation? Alright someone is pranking me for sure¡± *Congratulations Kasey Weaver you class has been decided you are from now on a pyromancer set the world ablaze in your name. Uncommon class your class is stronger than classes with the same name as yours* So I can control fire or something¡­.like that I guess? I''m not really into this kind of stuff? Maybe Derrick can help me understand this shit better. *Ding* *You can check your status and skills by saying show stats or skills, you have 10 minutes to prepare for the impending apocalypse your world will be facing enjoy the cluster fuck your about to experience and good luck Kasey Weaver you and this world will need it* Sarcastic bitch who are you wishing good luck? Go suck something stupid system. Anyway I guess I should check this stupid thing out none of this even makes any sense¡­..fuck it I''m pulling a Derrick, don''t give a shit till there''s a shit to give. ¡°Show stats and skills¡± Name: Kasey Weaver Level 1 Class: Pyromancer Title:Blazer HP: 100%. MP: 100%. STA:100% STR: 10 AGI: 13 DEX:10 CHA:14 Fire Manipulation: The power to manipulate heat and fire. User can create, shape and manipulate fire.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. Blaze: can increase the intensity of the flames and make them blaze harder turning them into a raging flame increased difficulty controlling raging flames. Well that''s not bad I guess? Considering this world is going to shit. Fire will always be the best bet I guess? Anyway¡­.how do you make this power work or something do I just think it?....hm alright *pshh* haha shit hah it work, the flame is so pretty *eye shine* *ROAR* Well that is not good let''s just wait here and play with my fire. *40 minutes later**Boom* Da Fuck? Is that ok why is there a trio of minotaur running at me oh shit oh shit. These ass hats just appeared out of nowhere. ¡°Blaze!!!¡± I shoot a raging flame at the first minotaur burning it making it fall, while blasting open the door behind it. I then conjure two flame whips and start to choke the stupid fucking monsters with it I swear today is just not my day I just strangle them for a while with my flames trying to let out some steam. Hm? Hey is that Derrick that pothead is actually still alive¡­..and he''s still smoking, even in this cluster fuck he can''t put down the blunt. ¡°Hey pothead how''s it''s going? Let me just finish up here and we can talk.¡± I send flames down the Minotaurs throat sorching their insides and killing them. Controlling flames is surprising easy once you get the hang of it. ¡°...uh *takes hit* alright Kasey¡­.wow I didn''t know a quiet girl like you who likes school could be so aggressive¡± he says with that cute little stoned grin of his. Who''s aggressive punk? I''m just annoyed if only he knew how annoying today has been for me. I shoot him a glare that would make most people shiver. He just ignores it like usual whatever. ¡°Yeah well I''m just as surprised as you, I never would have thought you of all people would actually be alive.¡± I joke at him even I am a little surprised he is still alive he''s always napping at the park I would''ve guessed something would have killed him in his sleep. I''m glad he''s alive though he''ll make this entire experience a lot easier to deal with. ¡°Hey I should take offense I''m more than capable of keeping myself safe. This stoner right here came to make sure you were still alive¡­.what I wanna know is why are you still here? Schools been over for a while? *Takes hit*¡±he says looking stupidly curious. ¡°Well I was taking a nap there''s no better thing than a school nap they''re just to die for¡­.which I literally almost just died for anyways let go it smells in here! Yuck.¡± I jump over the bodies and make my way towards the door, but not before staching his blunt out his mouth. I take a hit, wow that tastes amazing what is this? Uh I don''t know I''m not some expert like Derrick fuck it I''ll just enjoy it. I toss it back to him knowing he''ll catch it no matter what before he''ll let it touch the floor, kinda like a puppy yup just like a puppy. ¡°So we''re are we going?¡± he asks me with the usual nonchalance. ¡°We''re going to my house to make sure my parents are still safe they both didn''t go to work today, they just wanted to sleep in and be cuddly like a normal couple or something mushy like that.¡± I say while taking the blunt Derrick handed me, I take a hit then hand it back to him. ¡°Mhn alright *take hits* are you sure it''s cool I go with you your mom is cool with me, but your dad always seems to wanna pick a fight with me?¡±Derrick says with a slight chuckle. It might not be the best idea but who cares at least I get to see himget dropped kicked he''ll always and forever get dropped kicked. ¡°Does it matter? You don''t have a choice,your coming whether you like it or not. We''re friends after all we take care of each other so hurry up daylight is burning.¡± I say while shooting flames from my feet fight flying towards my house. Derrick quickly follows me turning into giant cloud of smoke¡­.ok I have to admit that''s fucking cool. *The End* Haha hey look its titties *Narrative Pov* A fast traveling magical girl along with her magical wand WAIT!! Wrong story *Cough**Cough*. A girl in cut black jeans and a long sleeve white shirt is currently making way towards her house with a odd smelling could of smoke. The cloud of smoke is obviously The Stoner traveling in leisure feeling comfortable as his own smoke makes him high. He sees something off in the distance that looks oddly familiar to him but he can''t quite put his metaphorical finger on it. Then it hits him, and he all too soon realizes who it is he comes to a halt while telling Kasey to stop. ¡°Kasey! Stop.¡± he says with a panicked voice for the first time ever or so it seems. ¡°What Derrick what it is?¡± She says wondering why he stopped her. ¡°..it''s¡­.its ...it''s titties!!! Buhahaha¡± he laughs as if he told the joke of the century. ¡°..... Derrick what the fuck are you talking about?¡± Says Kasey looking about ready to smash his face in. ¡°No no I''m serious look it''s titties?¡± He says while pointing below at a young woman with an overly large pair of yes tittie''s. Kasey looks down only to realize who it is. She gives Derrick a pissed look before cutting off the flames and falling downwards towards the ground. Derrick makes his smoke body into a needle before shooting downwards as well, but not before hearing Kasey say. ¡°Her name is Riley ass hat, go do something about the monsters before she''s killed I swear your like a dog without any home training sometimes.¡± she says annoyed. ¡°WOOF WOOF BABY!!¡± Derrick says in a goofy manner before landing in front of the young lady and Seven horny goblins. He quickly shifts to human form takes a hit of his blunt and looks at the goblins. He smirks and blows out the weed smoke while saying. ¡°Smoking Grim Reaper¡± An ashed out grim Reaper hefting an ethereal looking scythe with a gray color blunt in it''s mouth with a hood over it''s skull rushes towards the goblin quickly cutting them all down in a matter of seconds. Derrick stands to the side while watching his reaper rip the goblins to shreds smirks and says. ¡°Ash to Ash baby¡­.¡±he said in his usual goofy manner. Kasey finally hits the ground but not before slowing her fall with a cloth of flames easing her fall. She touches the ground safely and looks at the Carnage her friend started while whistling. ¡°Well damn Derrick so this is why you''re still alive? But I have a question do you name all your moves after smoking?¡± she says while tilting her head not really getting the stupid naming sense. ¡°Well duh doll face why wouldn''t I? It''s literally the Smoking Series. Plus it''s easier to pull off the moves when they have a clear concise name of what they do makes it easier to conjure, doesn''t waste as much mana so I don''t waste as much time trying to imagine it hehe.¡± Derrick says getting serious for a second before becoming an idiot again. ¡°Well alright I guess I can understand that but still Smoking Grim Reaper?... actually nevermind it does sound kind of cool.¡± she says giving into the not so stupid naming sense.Stolen story; please report. ¡°Anyways!! Hey titties are you alright I was won...Ouch!!! What the fuck, why you hit me Kasey?¡± He says while squatting and rubbing his bruised head luckily he didn''t drop his blunt. ¡°Dumbass I already said her name is Riley, show some respect. Hey Riley are you ok? You didn''t get hurt anywhere did you.¡± She says while sizing up Riley making sure she''s unhurt . Riley the young damsel in distress is currently starring at Derrick, now don''t get confused, it''s not a look of love or admiration. It''s the kind of look you''ll give a piece of trash that just happened to touch your new shoes. She quickly looks aways and gives her friend a hug. Riley tightly grasps Kasey in a bear hug squishing their¡­.more than desirable parts together. Derrick being the man he is conjures a chair made of smoke, sits down and enjoys the show while smoking his blunt. He didn''t get to enjoy it for too long because his reaper came back, standing behind it''s master like a loyal servant. Derrick and the reaper together create a more than chilling sight to see. Imagine a young man sitting in a chair in the middle of the street. Giving off ashed color steam wearing all black with a black beanie, and headphones over it, leaning slightly forward smoking a blunt While slightly grinning with an Ashed color Grim Reaper holding a ethereal looking scythe with a hood over it''s skull with a blunt that gives off Ash colored steam inside it''s never-ending grin. It would give anyone looking at it the shivers, Kasey and Riley looked at Derrick a little spooked because of how creepy he looks. ¡°...so your done with your little hug right? Grim your done bye bye.¡± Says Derrick while snapping his fingers making the reaper turn into regular smoke before fading away. ¡°So Riley as I was saying, I was wondering...why were you standing in the middle of street like an idiot about to have naughty things done to you?¡± He says while looking at her like she''s a five year old. ¡°.. I was running away obviously who in their right mind would fight these weird ass monster besides a crazy lunatic like you?¡± She says while huffing, obviously really annoyed. ¡°...............¡± Derrick just silently points at the girl standing next to her who is obviously Kasey, who in response just looks down. Riley confused looks at her friend with a raised eyebrow wondering what this guy is talking about. Kasey only continues to look down as if she''s not even a part of this conversation. Riley only continues to stare at Kasey with a look that''s says ¡°I''m not gonna ask you about it but your gonna tell me now¡±. ¡°...I might have strangled a couple of Minotaurs with flame whips while making them swallow fire¡­..today hasn''t been a good day alright¡­..¡± Kasey says with a more than tired expression. Riley looks at her friend who is clearly depressed and blames Derrick for it. In her eyes Derrick isn''t being the best friend he makes himself out to be. Just sitting looking relax while his friend is obviously on the verge of tears. She understands that this entire situation is more than taxing and it''s starting to wear down both of their mental stability. Riley looks at Derrick and says. ¡°Derrick we''re are you guys going I think Kasey could use some sleep.¡± she says wanting for her friend to feel better. ¡°Hm? Sorry I was counting stars anyways we''re heading towards her house to check up on her parents. If she''s tired I can make her a bed she can sleep on and we can walk the rest of the way? We''re not that far actually.¡± he says while blowing out smoke. The smoke then takes the shape of bed sporting a blanket and pillow. The bed actually looks more than comfy considering it''s a bed of smoke. Kasey looks at the bed and instantly denies that proposal. She''s smart enough to realize that bed would send her into a weed coma. ¡°Yeah no thanks I''m good. Actually we could walk the rest of the way it would make it easier for Riley to keep up.¡± Kasey says while looking at the new addition to the time. ¡°Wait she''s coming? But Riley hates me with a passion how do I know she won''t try and touch my weed.¡± Derrick says making goofy hand gestures as if he''s warding of evil spirits. ¡°Of course I''m coming why wouldn''t I come, Kasey is my friend and your¡­.the plus one I guess and I wouldn''t touch you with a 6 feet pole what makes you think I would wanna touch your stupid weed.¡±she¡¯s says while looking at him with eyes that only see stupidity. ¡°Hey my weed isn''t stupid my bud is nature''s will and mother nature love, Kasey!! She''s bad mouthing weed again!!¡± He says while looking like a giant kid throwing a tantrum. ¡°Would you shut up Derrick,and Riley stop egging him on let''s go it''s getting a little dark out here and you know how I feel about the dark so hurry the fuck up¡± she says while walking off into the distance. Derrick gives Riley a sideways look, shrugging and follows after Kasey. Riley just silently follows standing next to kasey trying to stay far away from Derrick who smells way too much like weed. *The End* Honey Im home!! *narrative Pov* A small group of three people arrive in front of a untouched cozy house, that looks out of a place in this cluster fuck of a apocalypse. Derrick being the person he is, he''s singing every song that can come to mind while smoking. Kasey and Riley just give him a look that shows how used they are of his behavior. ¡°Ayy Ayy Girl, never lie to me Ayy, girl, never lie to me Duck from the flashin'' lights, watch out for the tide comin'' All these people judgin'' Take a sip out the double cup, can''t tell me nothin'' I know it''s all for the better and I''m never stuntin'' I just want it girl who gon'' really tell me somethin'', ayy.¡± Derrick continues singing without a care in world while smoking his lovely lady Savita. He unlike these two girls believes stress is a sin which is why he''ll never let anything bother him too much. He hops over the gate, separating him and the girls from the house. He rushes towards the house Totten the blunt, swings opens the door while screaming at the top of his lungs. ¡°HONEY!! IM HOME IS DINNER READY YET?? YA KNOW I GOT THE MUNCHIES HAHAHAH.¡± Derrick says with his signature goofiness. *BOOM* ¡°Punk!! This isn''t your house and there''s definitely isn''t any food for you numb nut!! Where''s my daughter you better have kept her safe!¡± Says a man in his early 40¡¯s with a look of pure intimidation. The man who is obviously the father of Kasey is trying to bash Derrick in the face with his flaming fists, looking like a true martial artist. He''s facing some difficulty trying to punch a cloud of smoke that would semi transform into Derrick to give the father a target punch at. Kasey runs up to her father and bear hugs stopping him from throwing out another punch. ¡°Hey Dad, I''m glad your safe where''s mom?¡± Kasey asked looking more than relieved that she''s home and somewhat out of danger. ¡°Hey Craig why can I smell food? I thought you said there wasn''t any food?¡± Says Derrick sniffing out food like a dog. ¡°I said there wasn''t any food for you!, There''s food for me and my daughter.. oh and Riley too obviously but for¡­ you can just smoke outside.¡±Says the father who''s name is apparently Craig with a smirk. ¡°Awh that''s so mean whatever I''m not hungry anyway I''ll just go smoke with you wife hehe!!¡±Says Derrick while turning into a cloud of smoke and disappearing into the house at breakneck speeds. Craig being the man is refuses that with a religious fever, while screaming for him to get back here. Craig chases after Derrick only to hear talking and his wife laughing and her agreeing to something.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. ¡°Nooo!!¡±Screams Craig trying to stop the smoking menace who entered his house. Craig arrives too see both of them sitting on couch while he explains something to his wife, who is smoking a blunt with the youngster. Derrick looks at him, smirks and waves at him in a friendly manner. ¡°Anyways Marie this particular strain is something I just created using gorilla glue and aged Savita as the base while I mixed pure Thc into the bud prematurely increasing the potency, the smell, and effects it has the on the mind. I call it sleeping universe.¡±says Derrick with the expertness of a true stoner. Derrick just gave her a simplified explanation that sounded like it made sense. If he truly tried to explain it to her she''ll be profoundly confused but her being a mom she just agreed as if it made sense and just took a deep breath of it. Her mind exploded she was experiencing something she never had before. She was traveling through a universe blanketed in stars as far as she could see. There was figures as big as planets if not bigger, big enough to be the size of the universe standing, swaying there bodies moving to a invisible tune. They look godly, universal in their presence with boundless power. The beings stop dancing to look at the intruder in their domain. They all open there''s mouths that weren''t mouths as they spoke directly to her soul. ¡°Child of earth without the love of mother nature, you''re not welcomed here be gone at once and never show yourself in front of us again. Without the blessing of the world you stand on you will Rot here as your soul withers away. Bye child and may fortune smile upon of you.¡± They raise their hand in unison and next thing she knew, she''s back on couch sitting next to Derrick. ¡°...hm? Really? Oh ok I didn''t realize she could have died. Yeah yeah I know I''m immature yes I know I''m childish¡­.god? Can you stop with the nagging I get it no one can go there are you done yet? She obviously gained some benefits so it was win win yeah yeah alright never again tell mother nature I said hi.¡± Says Derrick as he has a one-sided conversation with air that might not be so one sided. Marie hands Derrick back his blunt not wanting anything to do with that particular strain of weed again it''s obviously not her speed. Kasey and Riley come into living room too say her mom sitting next to Derrick and her dad just chilling, looks like he got tired of fighting with Derrick. She goes and sits on the couch next to her mother while laying on her shoulder. Derrick''s breaks done the blunt storing the sleeping universe strain safely in his inventory and taking out a more mellow strain. He breaks down the purple creeper and rolls into his blunt. Derrick lights the blunt and enjoys the smoke. He only has one thing to say to everyone here. ¡°Anyone want a hit?¡± He says while making a dragon out smoke and making it fly around the room. The entire room enjoys a smoke session while listening to music off Derrick''s phone that surprisingly hasn''t died yet. It was a peaceful time, it was a lapse of time to relax in this shady apocalyptic world that has monsters around every corner and every door. Derrick looks too the ceiling and smiles a smile that would make a person''s heart flutter. He says with a profound look in his eyes. ¡°....Try as you may you can''t kill the vibe, the vibe is immortal this world is my playground and I''m mother nature''s child this world is my birthright hehe.¡± he says as a ruthless glint appears inside of his grey eyes that are always calm and relaxed. *The End* I would be dual writing both check the poll Demons is back demons is back demons is back!!!!#!!##................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................... ...................................................................................................................................................................... ................................sorry for the periods you''ll get a real chapter in a few hoursThe author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. I uh thought it was global warming.... *Narrative Pov* Derrick and company are sitting down discussing their next move. Derrick being who he is, doesn''t really care what they do. Until he remembered that his parents are still at work. "Hey let''s go get my mom and dad, i kinda forgot their still at work."he says with a smile. "Wait how did you forget about you''re parents what kinda of son are you?!!"Said Riley looking more than pissed at the inconsiderate pothead. " Hey hey hey miss oppai. Chill my dad is a retired marine and my mom is always packing heat like an assassin, their more than capable of taking care of each other." "So what, thats still you''re parents how could you not even be slightly worried about them! Are you even human!!!"Riley says with more than apparent rage. "Riley stop we dont have time for arguing, today has been more than stressful for everyone. Why dont we all just get some sleep we''ll talk more in the morning right dear?" Says marie giving her husband a look. Craig seeing the look in his wife eye''s, goes ahead and take both of the girls to his daughter room with post haste. He is more than aware of Riley hate and disgust for Derrick, so he escapes with both of the young ladies out of the room before anyone could say another word. "Hehe miss oppai is just a party pooper....*grins* you look like you have questions for me future mother in law, go ahead and ask ill answer what i can."said Derrick with a soul piercing gaze.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. "Why are you so calm, its like you know something we don''t. Do you know why this is happening?"she says with a firmness that wont take a lie for the truth. "Uh uh uh wasn''t it global warming? I''m pretty sure someone ripped a tag of mattress. I blame politicians!!" "Hehe and im not calm, I''m aware there''s a difference. Sorry i cant answer you''re questions, ah ah ah wait! Stop before you say anything else. I''m literally just as clueless as you, I''m a stoner not god i don''t know everything" said Derrick with his usual grin. Marie stares at derrick, daring him to make another joke. Derrick cant answer her questions, as far as he knows this could be some sick game. All his experience with games and light novel won''t be able to give her the answer she wants. He just stares back at her with calm eye''s and his ever present grin. "....*sigh* whatever Derrick, i guess we''ll both figure it with time. Go get some sleep we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." She gets up and exit the room, leaving derrick with his headphones and blunt all by himself. Derrick stares into space seemingly in thought, before getting up and going outside. He turns into smoke before drifting to the roof of the house. Derrick quickly shifts back to normal, before laying down facing the stars. He exhales tremendous amounts of smoke with each puff, covering the entirety of the house with dense gray smoke. " lets go to the moon and stars, lets go to the moon and stars, lets go to the moon and stars. LOOK AT THE STARS ON MY CEILING!!" The smoke as if it has a mind of it''s own, kills any monster stupid enough to try and enter the house by suffocating the life out of it. " I might not know why this has happened but i don''t care this world was too boring anyway, but now hehe show me everything you have to offer. I''ll show everyone why the stoner will reign supreme." *The End*