《Milton》 Prologue "Milton, are you listening to me?" Reginald asked. I brought my gaze up from the dirty checkered floor and to his eyes, but couldn''t bear meeting them for long. They settled on the cardboard mug of coffee in my hands. It was steaming hot, but the physical discomfort was doing an excellent job at distracting me from the emotional. I don''t even like coffee, I thought. And really, I didn''t. For as long as my Grandmother allowed me, I took my caffeine in the form of sugar-filled fizzle drinks. He would know that if he was around for any part of my later life. "They took me prisoner," Reginald continued, "I got back to the states as soon as I could." Steam billowed from the mouth of my paper mug like a miniature train chugging it''s way up Mt. Everest. I could almost hear a determined whistle as I leaned forward and sniffed the steam. It burned my nose with bitter heat. How could anyone enjoy this?This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. "Listen, I know this isn''t easy. But I am back now..." Reginald said, starting to lean in closer. I met his eyes, and he stopped. "I don''t even like coffee," I said. He treated my comment like a squirrel in the road and continued, "I am sorry about your Mother. I was devastated when I found out. I can''t even imagine what it was like for you. How did you survive? Who took you in?" "Grandma," I said, standing up from our table at the sweaty and cramped, polish meat market. Links of sausage hung from the ceiling, surrounded by the occasional buzzing fly. My stomach growled and Reginald asked me where I was going. I treated his questionlike a squirrel in the road. This can''t be real, I thought, desperate for some sense of familiarity. I swung open the aluminum door of the market to find some. A voice called after me, but I didn''t recognize it. I ran down to the corner of the street and ducked into an alleyway. I was utterly lost, according to the words on the street sign at the end. I ran for a while, taking frequent breaks. Dogs barked, always in the distance. Strangers popped into my view now and then, always soliciting something before fading away. Some of them got angry, but I just kept moving, my bag steadily bouncing against my back. After a while, my rest breaks synced up with the absence of street thugs, and I found comfort in the routine of getting away. Just like usual. Chapter 1 It was night by the time I ended up in a familiar part of town. I decided to stop at my Grandmother''s to check on the dog, a decision that extended my terrible day into a terrible night. Hearing the sound of smashing glass, I rushed from the sidewalk to her door, jamming my small copper key into the lock. I fumbled, scratching the outside of it before I finally got the door opened. An intimate beige apartment spread out before me - though, the floating and pixelated, rainbow-colored letters in front of me were a new addition: LEVELONE: AMBUSH AT GRANDMA''S HOUSE Round begins in 07 seconds. Wait. is that a countdown? Round begins in 06 seconds. Yes. Yes, it is. Round begins in 05 seconds. A mild sense of terror crept over me. Please equip a weapon from your inventory if you wish to survive. What?! Round begins in 03 seconds. Suddenly, I noticed the strap of my backpack begin to glow. Round begins in 02 seconds. I dropped the bag down off my shoulder. Round begins in 01 seconds. I ripped the zip open. The inside of my bag was pitch black and apparently bottomless, far bigger than it should have been. In desperation, I thrust my arm inside, looking for anything I could use to stay alive. FIGHT! *** Shit, I knew I should have just thrown this thing away, I thought as I pulled out the pop-sickle stick from the day before. My sense to not litter the Earth here to bite me in the ass once again. Fucking nice guys always finish last. I reached deeper into my bag, but my hands merely groped around, never touching the inner edges. It wasn''t the sense that my hands were unwittingly creeping into another dimension that spurred me into action though... it was the screams. I burst through the door with a ferocious scream of my own, "Grandma! I am here to save you, don''t worry!" At least that was what I wish I said. I have been waiting for some weird shit like this to happen to me for ages. In fact, I have trained for it. All those nights of chopping up watermelons and water bottles with my Katana didn''t prepare me for my first real enemy though - Grandma''s fucking humidifier. Agility check failed - you have fallen. "GrandmaAAAaaAA bdfjibejfbsdsf oawww," were the words that actually came out of my mouth. I pulled my heavy body to my feet with a grunt, c''mon man, time to show all those people what you have been training for, I thought. Another scream echoed through the house, causing my pale skin to flush with goosebumps. I ran up the stairs one by one. My arms flailed about, grasping for anything that would help me ascend faster. One of my hands knocked a picture of yours truly off the wall. I could tell from its position that it was the same picture I pleaded with my grandma for years to throw away. When the photo was taken, my face was covered in pimples and without a hint of facial hair. She thought it was cute though, and vehemently refused my pleas. It tumbled to the bottom of the stairs, along with my pop-sickle stick, and shattered into pieces.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Great, I thought genuinely, If the world is going to shit and I am to be its hero - I better get rid of any evidence of my embarrassing past. I wear fedoras now for Christ''s sake. An eternity later, my second enemy was defeated. I stood on top of the stairs triumphantly... before keeling over in exhaustion. Endurance check failed - you are exhausted. Grandma screamed again, this time only two doors down the hallway. "I''m... coming..." I said between wheezes, "Grandma... Kick it... in the balls." Bullies have always tried to tell me that kicking them in the balls was unethical, but I knew better. They would go on and on about how I should fight fair, but really, I was only using the advantage I had. They always thought they could pick on people like me, intellectuals, and then shame us when we fought back? Not on my watch. I knew their weakness... It was always a swift kick in the balls. It was all of their weaknesses, and I figured my Ambushers must be like bullies too. After all, only bullies would attack a defenseless woman at night. I captured my breath and galloped down the hallway. Grandma''s light was on, illuminating the room she was in. I turned the corner like a special forces member clearing a house and yelled to deter the Ambusher. My yell fell upon the deaf ears of an empty room. I dropped trained attack hands and slowly crept into Grandma''s room. I swear, her screams were coming from this room, I thought. I was never the most physically gifted, but what I lacked in strength I made up for with my superior senses. I could hear a police siren for more blocks away than anyone I ever knew, not that I had to put that skill to use ever. I bent over to check under the bed. In one awkward motion, I pulled the bed-sheet and peeked under. The only problem was that my stomach got in the way and I couldn''t lower my head down far enough to see. I ended up having to drop down onto all fours, but the result was the same - Grandma, nor the Ambusher, was hiding underneath. That only leaves the closet, I thought in between mental grunts as I figured out the most efficient way to pull myself up. I settled for the tried and true, one-hand-on-your-knee-the-other-hand-grabbing-anything-that-will-support-you-method. Like a ninja, I crept up to the closet. The floor barely creaked. I peered through the wooden slats of the door. What I saw threatened to make my pants wet. "Is that you... Grandma?" I whispered at the eyes staring back at me through the closet door. The eyes didn''t answer, so I stood tall and stared defiantly back. It was a defense method that got me through most of my childhood and worked 30% of the time, every time. You have learned a new skill - Inspect! To my credit, I didn''t miss a beat. I knew exactly what to do with such a skill. Grandma - Level 89 Human Scrounger - Increase your inspect skill to see more information. A scrounger? What the hell is that? I thought as I pulled open the closet doors, "C''mon Grandma, I know it''s yo-" My words were interrupted by a tiny fist. I reeled back, covering my nose. Grandma attacks you - Minus 5 hit points. Confused and panicked, I struggled to gain my bearings. I looked up from the floor, and could dizzily make out my grandmother hopping all around the room like a meth addict on cocaine. I turned over. Grandma jumped on the floor, her Nighty spreading just enough as she squatted to cause me to look away reflexively. The movement caused me to avoid many years of therapy and even some damage. Grandma attacks you - Minus 4 hit points - You dodged a critical strike! "Stop kicking me please!" and, "Why are you so nimble!", and "What the fucker is going on here!" All spilled from my mouth in a jumbled mess that probably sounded something like, "Stop you nimble fucker!" Grandma did not stop though. Instead, she hopped around the room, hung from the chandelier, and knocked over almost all of her various knick-knacks, which was an impressive feat all by itself, all while managing to find time to kick me in between. "That''s it!" I said, determined to wrangle in my Grandma and have a serious talk about putting her in a home. I pulled myself to all fours. She kicked me. I pulled a leg up and placed a foot on the floor. Another kick. I activated my one-hand-on-your-knee-the-other-hand-grabbing-anything-that-will-support-you ability. Grandma kicked me again and hopped back onto the bed, just as ''the-other-hand'' portion of my ability kicked in and pulled the blanket from underneath her feet. Grandma fell back... and smacked her head on the corner of her nightstand. Congratulations! You have defeated Scrounger! Congratulations! You have reached level 2! The rainbow-colored flashing letters didn''t make me feel any better about it, nor did the light that enveloped me after I leveled up. I held my grandma''s frail body in my hands and wept like a little girl. Yes, real men do cry. Hiding your feelings is the thing that is gay, not crying. Suddenly, a black mist poured from my Grandma''s mouth before dissipating into the muggy night air. She began to breathe again, but only for a moment. "Honey, I am sorry for kicking you," her lifetime of perfect politeness forced her to say, "My body was taken over by something... something bad," My Grandma looked me deep in the eyes then, "I need you to find the rest of them... and... and..." "What! What do I need to do! Just tell me, and I will do it!" I pleaded, "I will do it for you!" "Find them and... and... do you sword thing on them..." Grandma said, seconds before she took her last breath. Quest Received! Your Grandma came into contact with the deadly Scroungers and like many before her, didn''t live to tell the tale. She did live long enough for one thing though - to task you with bringing justice to her name and defending her honor! Quest Type - Chain Current Objective - Find your Katana. Chapter 2 Do your sword thing on them, I thought, reciting my Grandma''s last words for the hundredth time. It wasn''t like they were extremely profound, in fact, they spoke to my family¡¯s ignorance about who I was. No one really understood me. Still, though, her words helped me keep my head screwed on straight as I buried her in the backyard. "Rest in peace, Gram. You didn''t get me, but it doesn''t matter. You loved me anyway, and I will never forget that..." I told the mound of freshly disturbed dirt. I looked around the yard aimlessly. The moonlight reflected off the old slide I used to play on as a kid, reminding me of a time I would never get back. Rainbow letters inconsiderately intruded into my vision once again. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! I swiped them away just like I did all the other times they tried to ruin the funeral. Suddenly, the soft whine of a dog cut through the silence of the night. I had expected there to be sirens, screams, or literally any other sound that would signify the end of the world, but there wasn''t. It made me think I was going crazy, and in fact, I probably would have believed it if it wasn''t for the fact that my cell phone no longer worked, nor my Grandma''s old-fashioned landline. I ran over to my Grandma''s golden retriever. He did his best to run to me as well, but his canine excitement was no match for his old age. He only made it a few steps before I got to him. Pommy, my Grandma''s name for the dog, licked my face as I bent down to greet him. "Hey, buddy! I am glad to see you!" I whispered. Pommy whined and flipped to his back so that I could rub his stomach. The comfort of my lifelong companion died as my reality slowly crept back into my consciousness. I looked around the yard once again, racking my brain for answers, or a plan. I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep or play some WOW, but society would say that was just me trying to shut out the world. For once, I agreed. I needed to take action. I needed to find my Katana. I placed a hand on my knee and leveraged my massive body vertical. "C''mon Po-" I said, pausing as a childhood desire to rename the dog came back to life within me. "If we are going to brave this new world together, and I assume you want to come with me..." the greying retriever barked, "Good, then you will need a new name," I didn''t need to think too hard to come up with one, "Goldrin," I dubbed the dog, "You are not too golden anymore. You are mostly grey, but that''s fine. I hereby name you GOLDRIN!" Congratulations! You have received a pet - Goldrin! I swiped the notification away with a roll of my eyes, I know, he has been my pet my whole life, twenty years, I thought. "Okay, buddy. Let''s go find my Katana," I said. Goldrin borked, and we set out to my Grandma''s basement. It was slow going. I would have liked to blame it on the ancient dog, but really it was because none of the lights were working other than my Grandma''s bedroom lamp for some reason... and because I was fat. I grabbed a kitchen knife from the room in which someone would find those types of things and cautiously opened the basement door. Looking down into the darkness, I was overcome with the feeling to run away. It was like that irrational fear you got when coming up basement stairs that caused you to run up them at breakneck speeds. Except, I was already on top of the stairs, and the fear wasn''t coming from some imaginary creatures in the basement that threatened to grab me if I didn''t flee fast enough, it merely emanated from everywhere. Goldrin wined, awarding me the opportunity to call him a coward and thereby believe I wasn''t one in the process. Whoever heard of an entire party of cowards anyway? There was always one coward in the group, but never two. I stepped down the stairwell, searching for each hidden step with an outstretched and trembling foot. When I reached the bottom... nothing happened. Unless you counted the oppressive darkness that seemed to grow into infinity and beyond. I fought against it, showed it who was the boss, and took a step. Apparently, the darkness wouldn''t go down without a fight. My foot never landed on the ground and simply rolled forward, causing me to lose my balance. The rest of my body hit the floor, and then finally, my foot did as well. The kitchen knife clattered against cold cement somewhere off in the distance.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. Agility check failed - you have fallen. Goldrin barked worriedly from the safety of the stairs. "I''m fine. I''m fine. I just tripped over something," I reassured him. I investigated the darkness with my feet, trying to find the object that tripped me. I found it and kicked it towards my crotch, moments before my abdominal muscles gave out. I decided to do a sit up so I could grab the object, but it was no-go. Strength check failed. I settled for awkwardly rolling to my stomach and getting up like that. The object I tripped over, rolled away in the process, but I was able to grope around long enough to find it. It was oblong, about the size of a large penis, and had a switch on it. "Oh, thank god," I said as the fear that I forgot to get rid of my fleshlight before I moved out faded and I realized I had a regular flashlight in my hands. I whispered a quick prayer, thanking the gods that my innocent Grandmother never had to discover my personal belongings and pleading with them to make the flashlight work. I flicked the switch. My past was illuminated right before my eyes. The roundtable where I played my first DND campaign. The razor scooter from hell which was responsible for 99% of the scars on my shins. An old dresser that likely contained all my styleless and mostly black garments from high school. It was all there. Grandma had kept it all. Another bork sounded from the top of the stairs, this time more curious than concerned. "Yea, it''s still here!" I answered Goldrin as the light from my regular flashlight gleamed over my Katana that hung from the wall. I walked up to it confidently and grasped its cloth wrapped handle. My sausage fingers fit perfectly into the grip, worn down from a month or two of intense-ish practice. Item Received - Hero''s Katana "Told you," I whispered to my toxicly masculine uncle, all the jocks at my school growing up, and really, just everyone I had ever met besides my Grandma. I gave my Katana a few practice swings. A sudden feeling of completeness washed over me. I was ready to take on the world. I was prepared to cut up anything that stood in my way, especially jugs of water. I was ready to take action, bring justice to my Grandmother''s name, and defend her honor! A bright rainbow splattering of words entered my vision, causing me to recoil and ruining my heroic pose. I sighed but figured if anyone ever made a movie about me he or she could just cut that part out. Quest Updated! Your Grandma came into contact with the deadly Scroungers and like many before her, didn''t live to tell the tale. She did live long enough for one thing though - to task you with bringing justice to her name and defending her honor! You have located and equipped your legendary Katana - all fear the vengeance and wrath that is you! Quest Type - Chain Current Objective - Slay 5 Scroungers "Easy," I told myself, hoping that the scroungers wouldn''t take the form of my Grandma and immediately regretting it. The sounded like they would be terrifying, so it would be better if they all looked like my Gram anyway. "Bork! Bork! Bork!" Goldrin yelled at me. "What is it, boy?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, my Katana resting on one shoulder and my regular flashlight illuminating my face for heroic reasons. Goldrin borked again, spurring me into action. I ran up the stairs, ready to take on whatever was in front of me, and not the least bit afraid of anything behind me. "Holy shit," I said without taking too many breaths. ¡°I just ran up that whole flight of stairs!¡± Goldrin sprinted to the front door, leaving a streak of silver in his wake. At least, that was how I imagined it. The old dog actually waddled over slowly, sat down briefly to take a break and scratch his ear, and in general didn''t move nearly as fast as required to create a streak in the air. It was all the same though. "You want to go outside?" I asked the dog, "but we were just outside. There is no way you have to go again." Goldrin turned around slowly as if to say, "In human years I am more than 100 years old, dude, I have to pee all the damn time now." "Okay, okay," I deflected, opening the door and stepping out into the night once again. I sat on the stoop, guarding my companion as he did the deed. The sound of... it, seemed louder than usual, bringing the curiosity of the silent night to the forefront of my large brain once again. Grandma lived in the hood. It wasn''t always, ''the hood'' but she had lived here for so long that the neighborhood declined around her as the years went by. It never bothered me when I was younger though, even when I lived with her. Grandma''s house was a beacon of good times and safety in an otherwise, desolate and mean world. Now that I thought about it though, the safety granted at Grandma''s house was probably only emotional. Gangs and other hooligan''s perpetually roamed the neighborhood, which was one of the main reasons I was bothered at the moment. There should have still been gang members running around. In fact, I should have been in the surreal process of being assaulted at that very moment. Is everyone dead, I thought. Goldrin looked at me to check if I was still alert and guarding him in his vulnerable moment. I gave him a nod to reassure him that I hadn''t drifted off in thought. A scream pierced the air. Goldrin clenched his ''deed'' muscles and put a tail between his legs. I stood, narrowing my eyes until they were practically closed. A damsel, I thought, in distress... Chapter 3 I crossed the street and ran down the sidewalk toward the direction of the damsel in distress. I passed the shoddy, plywood covered windows of the house my first childhood friend used to live in. He was a warrior for our DND team and a rather good one at that. When his parents decided that they needed to move to a better neighborhood a few months back, we were never able to find a warrior to replace him. Because of that, the team slowly grew apart. The Battle Furious Fiends were no more. I passed the cement mailbox I accidentally drove into when I first learned to ride a bike. I never actually wanted to learn how to ride a bike, but my Gram knew it would be good for me, so she coerced me into giving it a try. If anyone else tried to get me to do it, I refused because I knew I would be no good at it. When I crashed into the mailbox, my self-doubts were justified in my mind, but my Grandma, bless her heart, somehow managed to get me to be angry at the cement mailbox instead and therefore, the rowdy teenagers that drove around smashing other less sturdy mailboxes so frequently that some of the neighbors had to install cement ones. Looking back, it was a great parenting move on her part. Sure, I was suspicious of teenagers for the next few years of my life, but I totally forgot about how I doubted myself and that doubt never got a chance to be internalized and become a part of my character. I haven¡¯t reddien a bicycle since then, but I did have the courage to kick around on my razor scooter for a bit, at least until it turned on me and showed itself to be a shin eating demon from hell. Endurance Check Failed - You are exhausted. I keeled over in exhaustion. Goldrin steadily walked up to me, barely out of breath. I looked at him accusingly, as if by the mere fact that he was keeping up with me suggested that I was a terribly slow runner. He wasn¡¯t wrong, but I didn¡¯t admit it. Another scream echoed through the night air as I caught my breath. Finally, I was able to stand upright again. I could only hope that the Damsel kicked it in the balls to buy me some time to save her. I set off again, this time at a less zealous pace. I passed the second to last house on my street. It was one of those houses that you never saw anyone come in or out of, but somehow the paper always managed to be brought inside and the cars in the lot seemed to drive off during the day and park themselves at night. It was the type of house that could easily be called home for someone like my Grandma, or someone that you only hear about on the news that is running a meth lab or a cult and you would have never guessed it. As my eyes left the suspicious house, they caught something odd on the main road the street connected to. It was light. It wasn¡¯t coming from any street lights, or homes though, in fact, all of those were completed dark. It was coming from the ghetto tattoo parlor on the corner. It¡¯s neon lights reflected off the semi-wet surface of the roads. It reverberated off of street signs. It blinded my eyes that were finally adapting to the pitch black of my new world. It was otherwise a beacon in the evil darkness that probably attracted everything I had tried to avoid my entire life. People that got tattoos were not my sort of people. It wasn¡¯t that I thought I was better than them, it was just that nine times out of ten we didn¡¯t have anything in common, including tattoos. Now that the world was filled with monsters though, I still had no desire to visit the neon tattoo parlor and its bright signs, but for different reasons. ¡°That light is going to attract all sorts of bad things,¡± I whispered to Goldrin. He whined, conveniently reminding me that I was not the coward of the group. I stepped forward, officially making it onto the second street of my journey. I stepped into the judgmental neon and realized in a mixture of horror and relief, that the parlor had been looted. Or destroyed, or attacked or something. The neon signs portraying seductive women with artwork trailing down their long legs, guys with huge muscly arms with anchors emblazing the love they have for their mothers, and more hung crooked from the walls of the parlor. The neon tubes blinked and buzzed determinedly, not caring a bit about making noise and attracting monstrosities, human or not. Still, I was relieved to see some sort of destruction. It meant that I wasn¡¯t going crazy. The damsel screamed again, this time from much closer. I peeked through the glass of the parlor window and my eyes caught a blur of movement. I stepped closer to steal a better look. The inside of the parlor looked much like it did on the outside - everything was broken besides a few neon lights that cast some parts of the room in brilliant colors and others in flickering shadows. In between glitzy greens, playful pinks, and radiant reds I could see a man fighting another man. The first man had the second in a full mount and was reigning down punches like a thundercloud full of jaw-breaking hail. The damsel, who was everything video games told me she should be, stood to the side, pleading the thundercloud to show mercy. He didn¡¯t though. He just continued to punch the thing he was punching. On and on it went. I had begun to think that Punching Bag must have been beaten to a literal pulp by then. My mind whirled with possibilities. What if it wasn¡¯t a man at all? What if it was a Scrounger? What if the man is going to fight the damsel next? What if the man is a Scrounger? What if the damsel is a Scrounger trying to trick- ¡°Bork?¡± Goldrin asked. ¡°Right, sorry,¡± I replied, ¡°Thanks.¡± I slowly inhaled the damp, polluted air and opened the door to the tattoo parlor. I had hoped to sneak in quietly, maybe get a feel for the situation and go from there, but the damn door had a bell on it. It jingled loudly as I stepped in. Intelligence Check Failed Everyone glared at me, studying me and sizing me up like new people always did. I stared back as defiantly as I could while holding the door open for my geriatric dog. The entire scene took much longer than I hoped it would, but luckily, I knew a charming way to break the ice that was practically guaranteed to make me a few friends. ¡°M¡¯lady,¡± I said, with a slight nod to the damsel. What the fuck, she mouthed silently before grabbing the attacking man¡¯s arm while he was distracted, ¡°It¡¯s already dead you brute!¡± she chastised him. Shit, it didn¡¯t work, I thought, ruminating over my failed social introduction. Probably because I don¡¯t have my fedora, I concluded. Damsels liked style as a general rule, and my fedora was the epitome of style. Side Quest Received! Find your Fedora ¡°How would you know?¡± The man said harshly. He punched the pool of blood and grey matter again, eliciting another scream from the woman as liquid gore splashed onto her. I cleared my throat, ¡°Um, I think I can be of assistance here. Has the black smoke floated out of it yet?¡± The man and the damsel paused to study me again. ¡°Who even are you?¡± he asked. ¡°Yes, it did,¡± she confirmed. ¡°Great, well it is definitely dead then,¡± I said with a forced smile, ¡°and¡­ my name is Milton. Did you know it? I mean the Scrounger, was it someone you knew?¡± ¡°Just a stupid fucking customer,¡± the man said as he searched for a towel among the debris of his shop. ¡°Milton,¡± the girl said, stepping closer to me. I flushed. ¡°Do you know what is going on here?¡± I tried to play it cool and not let the fact that I just had to kill my Grandma show through my words, ¡°No idea.¡± Well done, cool as a cucumber, I thought. ¡°Well, what the hell are you doing here then?¡± she asked coldly. I blanched, no idea how or when the conversation took a turn for the worse. ¡°Yea, how do we know you''re not one of these Scrunger things,¡± the man asked, turning his gaze onto me as he wiped the blood from his hands with a towel that had seen better days. I shrugged, moments before I heard a soft jingle behind me and something hard smacked me in the face. It turned out to be the floor. Strength Check Failed - you have been tackled to the ground. Greg Hanson attacks you - Minus 10 hit points - Critical strike! ¡°Fucking Greg, is that you man?¡± I heard the muscly parlor owner ask as I struggled to get my bearings. I turned over to my back and sat up, just in time to see Greg, a seemingly ordinary looking, if not a little wrinkly for his age, tattooed man, hopping up and down like a maniac. ¡°No! That¡¯s not Greg!¡± I yelled in between heavy breaths. The parlor owner looked at me with a confused expression, ¡°You know Greg?¡± ¡°Obviously n-¡± I tried to warn, but Greg decided to give up the surprise on his own time and tackled the parlor owner.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. Another scream echoed through the night. I thought that it came from the damsel, but it was entirely possible that it came from me instead. I couldn¡¯t be sure because I was too focused on charging the Scrounger. I whirled my Katana around impressively, moments before shoving it through Greg¡¯s back. For good measure, I pulled it out and pushed it back in again. For revenge, I twisted it and just because it felt good, I pulled my Katana out, whirled it around in the air like I did dozens of times before, and chopped Greg¡¯s head off like it was the top of a large water jug. It fell from the Scrounger¡¯s now-limp body and impacted the parlor owner¡¯s head with a soft thud. To his credit though, the owner didn¡¯t complain or grumble. He merely stood up, spat Greg¡¯s blood from his mouth and grabbed his gore towel like he had been headbutted by a decapitated head many times before and knew exactly how to handle such a situation. Quite impressed with myself, I turned to the damsel, expecting some sort of thanks, words of praise, or even a marriage proposal. It wasn¡¯t often that a woman proposed to a man, but I was comfortable enough with my masculinity and knew it wouldn¡¯t bother me if she did. A proud bork was the only thanks I received. I patted my loyal companion and turned back to the damsel, slightly angrier this time. Her face was blank, as if she was staring through me. I waved my fat hands in front of her sleek face. She didn¡¯t even blink. I titled my head in confusion and turned to the parlor owner, who seemed to be under the same affliction. The suddenly, I was afflicted as well. Maximum party member limit reached. Next level will begin shortly. I stared at the rainbow colored words blankly. They seemed to float around, mingling with the flickering neon lights of the parlor but never approaching their level of realness. It was possible the words were more real, but it was subjective and depended on how focused or unfocused my eyes were. LEVEL TWO: DEFEND YOUR PARTY¡¯S HOME BASE Round begins in 07 seconds. Shit, not again. Round begins in 06 seconds. Okay, okay, think. Round begins in 05 seconds. ¡°Hey, let''s grab some stuff-¡± Round begins in 04 seconds. ¡°-and barricade the door!¡± Strength Check Failed. ¡°C¡¯mon, help me with this!¡± Round begins in 02 seconds. Fucking amateurs. Round begins in 01 second. I readied my katana and assumed a fighter¡¯s stance. FIGHT! The resulting silence was deafening. No one moved, except for Goldrin, who managed to catch his tail and was eagerly trying to send it down his digestive track. A pair of veins on either side of my head throbbed in rhythm with my heartbeat. I slowly moved my eyes to the damsel, as if their movement would alert something of my presence. She was also in a fighting stance, which I found odd, but given the current circumstances, I didn¡¯t comment on it. My eyes swept across the room like a lighthouse that was being powered by a quarter of the electricity it needed until they stopped on the parlor owner. He was tall, with a beard, and wore a tank top that showed off the artwork that seemingly covered his entire body. A look came over the tattooed man¡¯s face. A look that made him seem like he was going to talk. And, despite my subtle ¡°don¡¯t¡± motions, he did. ¡°Man, ain¡¯t nothing gonna-¡± An object crashed into the floor of the back room and clattered among other metallic objects before stopping. Moron, I thought as the metallic noise turned into an organic one and stepped closer to the back door with a handmade ¡®Employee Only¡¯ sign duct taped to it. Everyone stepped closer to greet the noise. Little did it know that it was going to receive a very warm welcome, one could say a 98.6 degree Fahrenheit welcome. The brass doorknob turned slowly. I poised my katana above my head, taking up the majority of the space on that side of the door coincidently because of my body size, and not my heroic size. A fragment of a second later the door exploded open and embedded itself into the wall by the doorknob. I gritted my teeth and chopped my katana downward with all my water jug destroying might as I inspected the intruder in front of me. Joe Suarez - Level 41 Human Scrounger - Increase your inspect skill to see more information. Goldrin borked. My katana sliced through the air. The parlor owner started in surprise. The damsel screwed up her face in anger. A feminine fist rose through the air. I raised an eyebrow. Goldrun remembered how to growl. My katana fell further. The parlor owner finally realized what was going on and screwed up his face in anger as well. Joe Suarez¡¯s head exploded. My katana passed through where his head should have been and embedded itself in his body instead. A shining red light pulsed from the damsel¡¯s fist. Joe started to fall to the ground. Goldrin went back to chasing his tail. ¡°WHAT,¡± I said unconsciously, ¡°in the world was that!?¡± The damsel squinted her eyes impatiently as the parlor owner tackled Joe¡¯s body five seconds too late. She bent over to pick up the gore towel that lay on the ground. She was wearing yoga pants, a fact I didn¡¯t fail to notice. I felt some of the blood rush from my head. ¡°-did you?¡± the damsel finished. ¡°Did I what?¡± I asked confused. ¡°Jesus, are you even listening to me?¡± ¡°Sorry, spaced out for a second.¡± The damsel stared at me for a long moment. She was either confused, disgusted, or angry, I couldn¡¯t tell. Women often felt all three of things toward me, so I hadn¡¯t had much opportunity to study the subtle differences between them. Finally, she spoke again, ¡°I was saying it was my ability. You chose one when you leveled up right?¡± I shook my head, as much to communicate with the damsel as to shock the images of my Grandma¡¯s funeral from my mind. ¡°Well have you reached level two yet?¡± she prodded reluctantly. I nodded. She shook her head in frustration. ¡°Okay,¡± I said, ¡°how do I do it?¡± ¡°Think about special abilities or something. I don¡¯t know. You''re the gamer here, figure it out,¡± another metallic clinking sound reverberated from the back room as I contemplated how she figured out that I liked to play games, ¡°and hurry!¡± she finished. Maybe she chose a psychic ability as well? I thought, excited about the potential abilities and skills I could learn. I mentally pulled up the rainbow text that crashed my Grandma''s funeral by waving it into existence with my hand. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! ¡°Okay¡­¡± I said. Available abilities are based on your fighting style and attributes. Please select one. This option cannot be undone. Inspect Level 2 - Uncovers the maximum health points and a single ability of inspectable creatures and items. Companionship - Unlocks pet abilities. Detect Items - Items of use to you will be highlighted more often. ¡°Hmmm,¡± I said thoughtfully. ¡°Hurry up you idiot!¡± the damsel said as she shoved an ink needle into the eye of a Scrounger. ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I said. The decision was easy to make, but still, you shouldn¡¯t rush a man when he is making such an important decision. Everyone knows that. You have learned a new skill - Companionship! Your pet has learned a new skill - Bork Bork Growl! What the- my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the front door. Luckily, the damsel had enough presence of mind to lock it after the hulking figure that was me walked in uninvited. I inspected the brunette lawyer type standing politely outside and waiting to be let in. She was all done up in a respectable three-piece suit. Her hair was tied back into a tight bun that signaled that she didn¡¯t have the time to play video games and would not react well if I tried to talk to her about them. Brittnie Cornwell - Level 33 Human Scrounger - Increase your inspect skill to see more information. ¡°No thanks we are closed,¡± I told the Scrounger, who immediately dropped her act and started jumping into the glass window, using the seemingly frail body of the tiny lawyer as a sort of self-battering ram. Crap, I thought in a moment of genius, we don¡¯t want her breaking that window. Following that logic, I unlocked the front door to the parlor and let Brittnie in. She walked through the doorway in a hurry to murder or sue everyone and didn¡¯t even realize that she walked right into my katana until the buttons on her jacket reached its hilt. Brittnie looked down in surprise. That surprise turned to anger, and before I knew it, she was clawing at my face with her manicured nails. I thrashed my head around and couldn¡¯t help but get the feeling that she was aiming to claw my eyes out. That made me thrash around harder, but thankfully I had enough presence of mind to tilt my katana upward so she couldn¡¯t un-stab herself and get away. I bumped into a wall and caught a glimpse of two more every-day-clothed Scroungers enter my home base. Dangit, I thought, realizing I had no other option than to completely ruin Brittnie¡¯s comely face with my greasy forehead. I tilted my head back and slammed it forward with all the momentum my neck muscles could muster - which was an impressive amount considering that my neck muscles carried my large head around all day. My forehead collided into Brittnie¡¯s general face area with a sickening crunch. The weight of my katana became too much, so I let it tilt downward. Brittnie slid lifelessly to the floor. Strength check failed. Congratulations! You have defeated Scrounger! Before I could wipe away the rainbow words that violated my reality one after the other, I was knocked to the floor. Luckily, the sound of my considerable bulk crashing down was enough to alert my party members of my position, which was prone, and in danger of dying. I inspected my party while they saved my life; the damsel with her explosive punch ability and the parlor owner with his apparent lifetime''s worth of experience being violent. Lorelai - Level 23 human - Level 2 Survivor Nikko - Level 47 human - Level 2 Survivor The two humans made short work of the remaining Scroungers, allowing me to get to my feet under pressure from their judgemental eyes instead of under the pressure of being attacked. I wasn¡¯t sure which one I would have preferred. ¡°What did you choose?¡± Lorelai asked me. I dusted off my baggy jeans and replied, ¡°A companionship skill. I think it allows my dog to learn abilities.¡± She swore, ¡°Please tell me you have another dog with you. Like a mean pitbull or a giant great dane or something?¡± I looked to Goldrin lovingly. He whined and curled up into a cute ball of fur. I considered explaining that Goldrin was a great pet, but what could I say? I¡¯ll have you know that he has already learned the famed Bork Bork Growl skill? It probably wouldn¡¯t go over well, so I deflected instead, ¡°What did Nikko choose?¡± ¡°How do you know my name?¡± Nikko asked, his face verging on that of a psychotic paranoid''s. ¡°I learned the inspect skill,¡± I replied coolly. Lorelai asked me what that was, I explained patiently and the conversation turned to an examinatory one. In the end, Lorelai and Nikko ended up teaching themselves the Inspect skill as well, and finally gave me the respect I deserved. ¡°I guess you will be some help after all,¡± Nikko said by way of thanks. I nodded before following up with my question that was conveniently ignored, ¡°Nikko, what did you choose for an ability.¡± Lorelai sat down onto one of Nikko¡¯s tattooing chairs and rolled up her sleeves. Nikko pulled out a portable tattoo gun that I could only imagine ran on batteries and turned it on. The distinct sound of the tiny needled blurring through the air set my teeth on edge. ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± Nikko said with a deranged smile. If nothing else, that smile was enough to make me reconsider laying down for some quick shut-eye. Chapter 4 ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± the elven woman I was sleeping with said. ¡°I know right,¡± I replied, blowing the smoke from my lungs as I laid back into my feather bed. I looked at my woman and gently moved the hair in her face back behind her pointed ear, ¡°I told you it would be good.¡± ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± she said again, unmoving. I laughed heartily, confident in my strong performance of manliness. ¡°Holy shit!¡± she screamed. My confidence turned to alarm as I looked at my maiden. She licked my face, which wasn¡¯t exactly odd considering the circumstance, but a familiar smell from my childhood jarred something within me nonetheless. I woke up. ¡°Damnit, Goldrin¡­¡± I said as I pushed my greying companion off my chest, ¡°not again!¡± ¡°Holy shittttt!¡± Lorelai exclaimed, ¡°I can¡¯t believe it worked! ¡°What worked?¡± I inquired after having a brief but severe conversation with Goldrin that centered around not waking me up when I am dreaming, especially if I seemed to be making noises. I stood up and walked into the tattoo area from the front lobby. It was filled with four chairs, reminding me of a barbershop. Magazines were scattered all around the floor and tables. Their glossy covers gleamed with the green and pink neon light of a sign that dangled from the wall, threatening everyone that it would fall at any moment, but never actually doing so. Lorelai sat in one of the chairs. She was also gleaming. Nikko stood next to her saying the same phrase as the hot elf from my dream. He was trembling, the same way a tattoo needle trembles before it comes into contact with skin. Apparently, the man could handle any sort of violence without blinking an eye, but magic was too much for him. I repeated the phrase that had been going around lately. Lorelai stood up, her visible skin giving off a dull blue glow, ¡°Stick me with your sword,¡± she asked of me. ¡°My katana?¡± I confirmed which sword she was talking about with a gulp, bringing the weapon in closer to my body, protecting it, ¡°No, why would I do that?¡± ¡°Just trust me,¡± she said, ¡°do it.¡± I hesitated. She gave me a look. I caved and stepped closer, cautiously. I gripped my katana tightly and gently pressed it against her stomach. She grabbed the blade with her bare hands, pushed it back into me briefly, then shoved it back into her stomach with reckless abandon. I may have yelped, but it also could have been the dog. The blade refused to pass into her body. Right in front of my eyes, the blue glow surrounded her intensified where the katana touched her skin. Blue lines of force ripped through her, wrapped around her, and slowly pulsed until calming down and becoming one smooth, dull blue again. I looked at her with awe in my eyes. Maybe a little love too, but I didn¡¯t think she could see that part. ¡°It¡¯s a shield,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°How?¡± I asked with a cracked voice. Lorelai pointed to Nikko, who was still trying to grasp what was going on. He pulled his eyes away from his tattoo gun that had previously created many beautiful works of art, but nothing that beautiful, and looked to Lorelai, hoping to listen in on her explanation of his actions as well. ¡°His ability was Inscription. He can tattoo magic into skin.¡± I finally cleared my throat and rallied, ¡°Awesome!¡± ¡°Yea, sit down and he will give you one too,¡± She said, wrapping her tiny hands around my massive arms like a baby trying to grab onto a cement column -if that cement column happened to be made of jello. ¡°Oh, no,¡± I interjected as I reluctantly let her pull me, ¡°I don¡¯t do tattoos.¡± The look she gave me said it all. Then it said it all again, with fancier words. What the fuck do you mean? This tattoo can save your life. Also, it is magical, and you are a nerd, what the hell is the problem? Are you an idiot? Don¡¯t answer that, you are definitely an idiot, but you''re going to be an idiot with a tattoo, do you understand me? Luckily, Nikko spoke up and granted me a reprieve from answering her onslaught of non-verbal questions. ¡°Wait, I have an idea,¡± He said before turning around and rifling through his drawers. He had gotten over his magical delirium and returned to normal. I only knew that because he found another indirect way to insult me, ¡°I don¡¯t have enough ink, and giving The Unit over here a shield would waste too much of it. Hold on.¡± Nikko found what he was looking for and pulled it out of the drawer triumphantly. ¡°How is that stupid little knife going to help us?¡± Lorelai asked. I recognized the knife in Nikko''s hands immediately and stood up from my chair, ready to drop some impressive fact bombs, ¡°That¡¯s not just any knife. That¡¯s a Kershaw Tilt. You can¡¯t even buy those anymore,¡± I said, turning to Nikko ¡°seriously, how did you even get one? It¡¯s cutting edge is made from Udderholm Vanax 75! It has a ton of unique features that were all well ahead of its ti-¡± ¡°SO?¡± Lorelai interrupted me, ¡°Jesus, what is that going to do for us. Does Vanax or whatever kill fucking zombie people super fast? If not then it doesn¡¯t matter.¡± My brain stuttered to come up with a reply, but it eventually puttered out, ¡°Cool. Cool.¡± I said with a nod of my head. Not cool man, she doesn¡¯t even like blades, I thought as I sat back down in my chair, feeling defeated on multiple fronts. Nikko paid no attention to us though and quietly walked over to the nearest Scrounger, which happened to be Brittnie. He knelt over to her limp body, slide his Kershaw into the top of her suit jacket and pulled. The knife, as any good knife should, cut cleanly through Brittnie¡¯s clothes, which fell to the side. I nodded in appreciation - at the fact that Nikko kept his blade well oiled and sharpened, and not at Brittnie¡¯s pair of perky double A¡¯s that were suddenly exposed. ¡°Oh, C''mon,¡± Lorelai complained, ¡°what are you doing?¡± I was wondering the same thing but opted to sit there and watch. I would find out eventually. Nikko repeated his process until Brittnie lay on the floor completely naked unless you counted her Katana wound. I sat there in awe - of the skilled knife work. I would never have expected such a basic and uneducated man to own, never mind appropriately wield, such a blade with that much grace. Meanwhile, Lorelai¡¯s complaints reached a crescendo until she stood there fuming and powering up her explosive fist ability. The ability made a sort of sizzling electric sound. It was enough to get Nikko to consider his situation and offer an explanation. I leaned in closer to get a better look at what he was going to say. ¡°Oh, right,¡± he said in a moment of introspection, ¡°this is going to be gross, but I had an idea that might help protect us from the Scroungers. You guys might want to go into the back room.¡± ¡°Excuse me? No, I will not. YOU WILL NOT, OR I WILL-¡± Lorelai yelled. Nikko dashed across the room in a split second and grabbed Lorelai¡¯s magically infused forearm. He pulled her face close to his. Her powered up fist powered down. ¡°Do not fucking threaten me, do you understand?¡± He threw her arm away, ¡°Especially when you need me and have no intention of coming through with your threats. Little girl,¡± he added for good measure.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. This time it was Lorelai¡¯s turn to deflate. She walked past me without making eye contact and quietly, but still somehow loudly, sat down into the corner chair. ¡°Seriously,¡± Nikko warned as he picked Brittnie¡¯s body up from the floor and threw her over his shoulder, ¡°you guys aren¡¯t going to want to see this.¡± Nikko shuffled to one of his open chairs, threw Brittnie¡¯s slim limp body into it, and prepared his equipment. *** Pots and pans filled the back room of the parlor Lorelai was busy dragging me into. Among the other objects necessary for living in a small room; a small refrigerator, an old-fashioned television complete with alien ear attenai, a set of weights for getting buff, various magazines that featured beautiful woman wearing only tattoos, and a box of tissues, there was a worn and slightly yellow mattress that lay directly on the floor. It didn¡¯t have any sheets, which I figured suited the mood of the place. What didn¡¯t fit the mood, or at least the mood I wasn¡¯t suspecting so early in our relationship, was that Lorelai led me to the bed. We both sat down on its edge. Admittedly, I had no idea what to do from here, as I have never actually sat on a bed with a woman. ¡°Fuck,¡± Lorelai said as she clutched her hand in another and rocked back and forth on the edge of the bed. ¡°What happened?¡± I asked. ¡°I think I broke my finger,¡± she said with a pained expression, ¡°trying to power punch one of those scroungers.¡± ¡°Well you did punch one of them hard enough to make its head explode,¡± I added. ¡°No, not that one,¡± she said, ¡°It was a different one, I went to use my ability, but when I punched the thing, it never activated.¡± ¡°Oh, it probably just has a cooldown,¡± I replied. She looked at me, never acknowledging my helpful explanation, and said, ¡°What are you doing here Milton. Like, how are you still alive,¡± she returned to looking at the ground and rocking away her pain, ¡°I don¡¯t even know how I am alive. One moment I was waiting to get a tattoo and the next second the guy in front of me attacked.¡± I recalled the first moment I met the rainbow colored letters, and the painful moments afterward, ¡°I was visiting my Grandma¡¯s dog like I do every night after work¡­ then she attacked me.¡± Goldrin wined at the mention of his mother and hopped up onto the bed with me. He wasn¡¯t supposed to be on furniture but probably had some sense that it was the end of the world and that the old rules no longer applied. Besides, from the state of the room, I didn¡¯t think Nikko would even notice a little bit of dog hair on his bed, so I didn¡¯t say anything to him. Besides, I didn''t want to be on the receiving end of his Bork, Bork, Growl skill, whatever that was. ¡°And you killed her,¡± Lorelai stated. She was a brunette, my favorite color of hair for damsels, and had a small splattering of freckles below her green eyes that were only visible if you were sitting on the same bed as her. She reminded me of Tifa, a character from one of my all-time favorite video games. I had dreamt of meeting someone as beautiful as Tifa many times, but somehow the moment wasn¡¯t as magical as it was in my head. ¡°Yea,¡± I whispered. Then I remembering that it wouldn''t make a good impression if I broke down crying, so I took an exaggerated inhale and said, ¡°or at least I killed the thing that killed her. I guess I don¡¯t see it as killing my Grandma; she was dead before I got there.¡± ¡°Still sucks though,¡± She added. Despite my best efforts, I nodded and joined her in looking at the floor, ¡°Yea.¡± ¡°Okay, you can come out now!¡± a slightly Spanish voice echoed from the main room. I immediately stood up, eager to get out of whatever type of social situation I was in, just in time to see Lorelai wipe her freckled face with a good hand and stand up after me. Had she been crying? I asked myself as I looked back at her, I didn¡¯t even notice. ¡°C¡¯mon Nerdboy,¡± Lorelai said after me, with a forced wink. I flapped my arms, unaware of why it was appropriate to insult me in such a social situation, especially after we seemed to bond for a short time. Or at least I thought we were bonding. Maybe it wasn¡¯t obvious enough that I wanted to bond with her? I wondered as I walked out of the backroom and into the main parlor, should I get her a gift? The Parlor was mostly unchanged. Its broken neon signs still clung desperately to the walls by lonely but determined screws. A gift appropriate for such a beautiful woman was nowhere to be seen. The various industry magazines still lay scattered about, although a few of them had likely laid somewhere slightly different now. The only apparent changes in the room were that Brittnie was gone, Nikko was doing his best to mop up a rather large pool of blood from the floor, and there was a dull blue glow outside the Parlor¡¯s main window. ¡°Where did Brittnie go?¡± I asked, my priorities admittedly screwed up. ¡°Jesus, you named her man?¡± Nikko said as if I was the disgusting one and he wasn¡¯t currently mopping up a pool of blood from a dead woman he stripped naked. ¡°No, it was from my Inspec-¡± my explanation was interrupted. ¡°You probably named your sword too,¡± Nikko accused. ¡°Well, of course, Moira has a name,¡± I replied indignantly while clutching my Hero¡¯s Katana to my heart,¡± But-¡± I was cut off again, and in immediate danger of losing control of the social situation. Like many times before, mostly in high school; I felt my stomach growl in nervousness and my pride harden to prepare for the insults that were bound to smash up against it. ¡°Nikko, what did you do?¡± Lorelai asked in awe as she inspected the shield that surrounded the outside of the parlor. ¡°I protected us. The gay rainbow words said that we needed to defend our base. So that is what I did,¡± Nikko replied as he twisted the mop with his bare hands. Blood oozed from his fingers and dripped into the bucket, creating the sound of water droplets, only thicker. As I did my best to build up my mental defenses and quickly prepare my repertoire of counter-insults, I caught a glimpse of Goldrin sniffing around. ¡®Your mom,¡¯ was always a proper reply. Goldrin sniffed his way to the front of the lobby. ¡®I know you are, but what am I,¡¯ Got me through at least one social interaction that I had lost control of. Was that one from middle school though? Goldrin settled for sniffing a specific corner of the Parlor where the door met the floor. ''f my face is pizza then your face is poop, I thought, starting to feel like I was prepared to talk again. ¡°But how did you do it?¡± Lorelai asked. Nikko finally paused his work and looked up to Lorelai. Instead of answering her, he darted after my dog, who had managed to find something to eat. ¡°Hijo de puta,¡± he swore, ¡°Don¡¯t eat that you idiot.¡± I was never good at social situations, I never had the knack for it, but what did make sense for me was pain. I especially understood feeling pain, no doubt from the troublesome experience of growing up as a human child. And one thing I was good at was defending my loved ones from pain. I sprinted after Nikko and managed to grab Goldrin before the monster could kick him. As I did, I got a glimpse of what he was trying to eat. ¡°Keep your mut away from there,¡± Nikko said, impressed with the speed I managed to muster, ¡°or I will kill him.¡± My brain barely took in the threat; it was good at ignoring those types of intimidation tactics. Besides, I was too busy inspecting the tattooed piece of parchment that Goldrin almost ate. It was nailed directly into the wall for some reason. Upon, further inspection, I learned that there were similar pieces of curled up parchment nailed all around the window and door. I looked up, as if doing so would give me a glimpse into the life of the sort of people that got tattoos, and how they liked to decorate their abodes. Something dropped onto my forehead. It was wet. I wiped it away with a fat finger and realized that Nikko¡¯s parlor had a leak. It wasn¡¯t a big deal. I figured a lot of the business establishments in the area had these sort of leaks. It was just how things were in the ghetto. But this leak seemed to have rust in it, so I figured Nikko should at least be aware of it. I turned around, ¡°Hey, Nikko, your building seems to have a rust prob-¡± I was interrupted, yet again, by the sounds of a damsel scream. My mind whirled and readied its list of counter insults. What did I do this time? Why is she screaming at me? I wondered. I looked at Lorelai as she yelled and realized that she wasn¡¯t looking back at me. Good, maybe I am not the problem, I thought with relief, letting my brain forget some of the insults it had prepared. I followed Lorelai¡¯s eyes and turned around to see what she was screaming at. She seemed to be very upset at Nikko¡¯s choice of decoration. I don¡¯t understand it either, but it doesn¡¯t seem that bad. I mean I wouldn¡¯t decorate my apartment like that but to each their own. The pieces of parchment kind of add to this place¡¯s trashy feel, which I imagine is good for his target market, I thought as the screams continued after taking a short break to reload. Maybe she was going to school to be an interior designer and Nikko had broken some rule of the trade. Well, I don¡¯t recall the parchment being here before. Goldrin also doesn¡¯t eat paper. Maybe a little bit of grass when he doesn¡¯t feel good but¡­ where did Brittnie go? Realization dawned. I turned around, just in time to see Lorelai bend over and a torrent of barely digested things flow out of her mouth. It splashed against the floor and mingled with Scrounger blood. I felt my stomach begin to churn. Constitution Check Failed I gagged, determined to hold down the half dozen hot pockets in my stomach. They were having none of it though and broke through my esophagus like a small leak in a giant damn - small and manageable at first, but rapidly flowing into a violent river. Constitution Check Failed. Constitution Check Failed. ¡°Goddammit, guys!¡± Nikko yelled, waving his mop handle around in frustration, ¡°Get a hold of yourselves!" Constitution Check Failed. I barfed again, surprised at how much food I had eaten throughout the day. My final conscious thoughts were, Maybe this is why I am fat, and, Carrots, why is there always carrots. Chapter 5 I regained my consciousness in quite an odd fashion. First, I wasn¡¯t in the same place as when I passed out. The last time that happened to me was when I weighed less than a hundred pounds - probably when I was five or six. Second, my mouth felt very dry, as if I had been munching on cotton balls. Admittedly, I was hungry enough to eat some cotton balls at that moment, especially after losing all those hot pockets, but I was pretty sure I hadn¡¯t eaten anything at all in the past six hours. Which coincidentally hasn¡¯t happened since I was about five or six as well. I keep snacks by my bed just in case. Get your blanket, your pillow, and your snacks. I reached into my mouth and found the culprit, Ugh, I knew I shouldn¡¯t have let Goldrin up onto the bed. I sat up and carefully removed all the tiny strands of dog hair from my mouth. Voices could be heard from the other room, arguing in hushed tones. ¡°You don¡¯t even know what is going on here, so don¡¯t pretend like you know what is best,¡± Lorelai cut, her tone sharp enough to scratch diamonds. ¡°I don¡¯t need to know what is going on to know that that guy is going to slow us down and put us in danger,¡± Nikko boiled, doing his best to maintain his secretive whisper and failing, ¡°I almost threw out my back dragging his fat ass to bed. On your request, mind you.¡± ¡°Cut him some slack man! He had to bury his Grandmother to survive the first wave of letters. Would it kill you to show some kindness?¡± ¡°YES!¡± Nikko yelled, entirely too loud, ¡°That is what I have been trying to tell you! I¡¯ve seen it happen tons of times on the street. It is bound to happen more now!¡± ¡°It¡¯s not his fault! He is just having a hard time adapting. I am having a hard time adapting, as you are. For Christ sake, I broke down and cried while you were busy skinning the Scrounger and Milton completed avoided talking about the situation. He just needs a little more time to deal.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t know if we have enough time,¡± Nikko warned, his voice returning to a frustrated whisper, ¡°Who knows when the next rainbow letters will come.¡± I don¡¯t know if it was that fact that Nikko ruined the implied secretness of their conversation and everyone knew it or the fact that they were both right about me, but I felt the need to act for once. I opened the door and stepped into the Parlor. Nikko met my eyes with an unwavering indifference, and Lorelai¡¯s face made it painfully clear that she felt bad for me. I cleared my throat, ¡°Thanks for sticking up for me Lorelai,¡± I said before glancing back into Nikko¡¯s room, ¡°I haven¡¯t really adapted to the situation, and I will probably slow you down. It¡¯s all true,¡± I looked to Nikko, ¡°Thanks for carrying me to bed, sorry about your back.¡± Lorelai cringed, clearly learning that I had heard the whole conversation, or at least the majority of it. I turned back into Nikko¡¯s room and picked up two, ten-pound dumbbells from the floor. I held them up, ¡°Can I have these?¡± ¡°No¡­,¡± Nikko said, his eyes squinting and shoulders shrugging slightly, ¡°...dude.¡± I nodded as I set the dumbbells back down, that¡¯s fair, I thought. ¡°C¡¯mon Goldrin,¡± I said with a soft whistle. My loyal companion perked up from his nap and waddled to my feet. I grabbed my backpack, threw it over my shoulder, and walked out of the parlor. The only noise to signal my departure being the jingle of the bells around the front door. I walked through the glowing blue shield around the parlor without issue and sighed relief. That was the first hurdle I knew I would have to surpass in my plan, and it meant that I was off to a good start. It would have been pretty embarrassing to walk out of the Parlor, only to have to turn back and ask Nikko to take down the shield and let me out. I took in a breath of the heavy night air and let it out. It felt good to have a plan. It was refreshing, like chugging an ice-cold Mountain Dew after a twelve-hour dungeon raid. Something that I could focus on would do me good. Logical progression. Something I could see. I heard an upbeat jingling sound and immediately whirled around, my Katana ready to strike. ¡°Why are you so dramatic,¡± Lorelai said as she burst from the parlor door, her arms crossing in an effort to cover he hardening nipples in the briskness of the eternal night. I lowered my katana and shook my head, ¡°I am not trying to be dramatic, I just have something I need to do, and it is clear that he won¡¯t help me do it.¡± ¡°What could you possibly have to do?¡± Lorelai asked with a condescending smile. ¡°I have to find my Fedora,¡± I said plainly. Lorelai gave a soft chuckle, as if to suggest I couldn¡¯t be serious, ¡°You can¡¯t be serious,¡± she said. ¡°I am dead serious. You were right when you said I wasn¡¯t processing the situation, but you were wrong when you said I just needed more time. I don¡¯t. The world has gone to shit. I killed my Grandmother just to survive, and none of us know what we need to do next,¡± I said, ¡°Except I do. I have a quest to find my Fedora, and I don¡¯t think the rainbow letters would have given it to me unless it would help. So that is what I am going to do. I have to find my Fedora,¡± I repeated. To Lorelai¡¯s credit, she didn¡¯t lower her head in contemplation, and she didn¡¯t cup her chin in thought; instead, she immediately said, ¡°let me come with you.¡± ¡°Now that is being dramatic,¡± I replied with a slight, unwanted satisfaction. Lorelai shook her head, ¡°If you are right about your fedora then it is a good idea, so it wouldn¡¯t be smart to go alone.¡± ¡°I am not alone,¡± I replied, looking down to Goldrin. He borked proudly. ¡°Besides, my house is just down the road. If I run into trouble I will whistle, there is no reason for you to leave the safety of the Parlor. I¡¯ll even see if I can find us some food.¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°Us?¡± Lorelai asked. ¡°Yes,¡± I said, losing my patience, ¡°I will get my Fedora, come back with some goodies, show Nikko that I am not just some weirdo that compartmentalizes tough life experiences and come back. If he still doesn¡¯t want anything to do with me¡­¡± I paused, ¡°well... My plan didn¡¯t make it that far yet, but if that happens, then I will just come up with a new plan.¡± Lorelai sighed and shook her head, ¡°Fuck man¡­ I don¡¯t like this at all,¡± she looked at me, "can you whistle real loud?¡± ¡°The loudest,¡± I replied. ¡°Okay,¡± she whispered, before stepping closer and embracing me. I blacked out for a second, and then Lorelai was gone, the only thing to signal her departure being the lingering jingle of the long-closed Parlor door. *** I floated to the corner of the street like I weighed naught but five ounces, which is coincidentally the same weight as the average fairy, in a haze of clarity. I was aware that that didn¡¯t make much sense, what is a haze of clarity anyway? But there was no other way to describe it. It was like stepping out of the room you hung up blackout curtains in so you can set up a LAN party with your friends and then stepping out outside of and discovering that it was sunny. Technically, you could see clearer than you could before, but it would take you some time to get used to all the sunlight after being without it for so long. I practically skipped passed the mysterious house of Someone and Noone. I would have actually skipped if I thought my knees could handle it, but I was still happy that I, as a whole person, could handle something. I could manage my life, and that felt good. Admittedly, I wasn¡¯t that zealous, yet. I knew that this was a big step for me and that I could actually, probably, only maybe, handle the plan I came up with. It was perhaps Lorelai¡¯s hug that was making me too sure of myself, but at least I was aware of it. Past Milton would have ridden the high, all the way to its inevitable downfall and wondered why life always shat on him when he scraped his knees on the way down. Not me though. It also helped that as I walked down the street, I got a sobering reminder that my life wasn¡¯t all pieced together just yet. A loud crash sounded from inside the mysterious house, like a thousand lead ping-pong balls being dropped one by one onto the second floor until it caved under the weight and collapsed. I turned around slowly, in no rush to meet the people that lived in a house such as that one. I hoped that whoever was in there was the sort of person that was merely cooking up meth or running a cult, but no, that wouldn¡¯t have been scary enough. Goldrin whimpered and put a tail through his legs. I did the same, metaphorically. Suddenly the peaked roof of the house broke at the middle, causing the two halves to fall into each other like a sinking ship. The front door opened abruptly, making way for a large leather boot. I could only assume the large boot was attached to a large leg, but it was still hidden behind the darkness of the entryway. The boot stepped forward, revealing a shin bone that crashed through the upper wooden frame on its way out. Then, all at once, the creature stepped out of the mysterious house that caged it. It collapsed as if the beast was the only thing holding it up all this time. I stood there in awe and inspected the giant creature before me. Avalanche- Level 8 - Increase your inspect skill to see more information. What am I, level two? I thought as I slowly stepped backward, there is no way I can defeat that thing. It doesn¡¯t even have any skin¡­ I can barely kill the things that do have skin. Agility Check Failed - You have fallen. Shit, I thought as I scrambled to pick myself up from where I lay off the curb. Avalanche stretched his arm around as if he had never been in the open before, as he did so, the chains in his left hand jingled against the road. He tugged on them, and I began to understand how the creature got its name. The slowly settling remains of the mysterious house jerked and coughed up a mountain of large lead balls. Only these balls weren¡¯t smooth like the tennis variety, instead, they all had roughly forged spikes. No doubt used for killing stupid people like me that always managed to trip over something when they tried to run from the bad guy. Avalanche gave his chains another jerk, and all of his spiked balls formed up in the road behind him. I couldn¡¯t see through his blackened cowl, but I didn¡¯t need to see the creature¡¯s face to know that he intended to whip his chains at me and bury me in an avalanche of spiked lead. And I wasn¡¯t going to wait for him to do it either. I activated my self-styled, one-hand-on-your-knee-the-other-hand-grabbing-anything-that-will-support-you ability and shot to my feet. I recklessly ran up to the creature, curled my thick legs underneath me, leapt into the air as high as I could, and punched the creature in its balls - and not the lead ones. It wasn¡¯t a technique I was very practiced in, I preferred to use my shoes when defending myself in such a manner, but to my surprise, it worked, and the enormous creature folded over in pain, just like all the other bullies that came before it. ¡°Bork!¡± Goldrin warned me. ¡°Good idea,¡± I said, turning around, ¡°let¡¯s get out of here.¡± I ran like the wind¡­ after the sun had gone down. I ran like a raging river¡­ just before it widened and wasn¡¯t under as much pressure. I ran like¡­ a fat kid that had only ever run up a flight of stairs without taking a break one time in his life, total. Endurance Check Failed - You have fallen. ¡°Pffffft,¡± was the sound my mouth made as I tried to whistle. My chest heaved in an attempt to catch up on the air I wasted and tried again, ¡°Pfffft hhuuu huuu huuu huuu pfffft.¡± I quickly realized that help was not going to come. Not only because I couldn¡¯t whistle correctly without the very real chance of suffocating myself, but because I was only a minute walk from the parlor. Lorelai and Nikko would have certainly heard Goldrin bark, never mind hearing the house that had just collapsed. No, they had abandoned me entirely. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if they went to find a new home base as soon as I left, I thought, just like when my father went to get a pack of smokes. The lifelong anger I felt toward my father bubbled up inside me for the first time in a long time. I had mostly gotten over it and found new role-models. Tough men, men that saved damsels, fought with swords, and would never abandon their son. With all those role-models available, who really needed a father anyway? Not me. As if my father had returned and gave me a big hug and told me he was sorry and that the only reason he left was because it was against his will, all my hard feelings disappeared. Not because my father was there, though, but because Avalanche hit me with a fuck ton of spiked balls and physical pain was the only thing that I could feel at that moment. ¡°Ahhhhhh,¡± I screamed in abject horror. I felt my head smash into the asphalt. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because I fell or because I had already fallen and was busy breaking my head on the ground so that I would hopefully die and the pain would end. What a silly way to go that would be. Guy gets hit by a monster, but then robs the monster of the satisfaction of killing the guy when he just offs himself instead. What would they put on my gravestone, I pondered. Maybe something along the lines of, ¡°Died from self-inflicted head trauma - thereby making Avalanche the laughing stock of the Skinless Monster Community. RIP Milton, master of katanas and male fashion.¡± I chuckled. ¡°BORK!¡± Goldrin yelled at me. I looked at him, ¡°No, I¡¯m not losing it. And what are you still doing here! Run away!¡± ¡°BORK!¡± he argued stubbornly. I could see the love and compassion in his canine eyes. A love that could only occur by spending a lifetime together. It wasn¡¯t the super intense, quickly fizzling out love that woman seemed to be after either. It was one that said, ¡°If you die, I will die without you.¡± It said, ¡°Do you remember that time I chewed up your shoes, but you told Grandma that you put them in the garbage disposal for some absurd reason because you thought she would get rid of me.¡± ¡°I am fine,¡± I told my companion, ¡°Truly, I am. I know I have said it a lot in the past, but I really am now. I can¡¯t explain it, but I am okay with this. Please leave,¡± I pleaded, doing my best to stifle a sob and failing, ¡°because what I am not okay with is you dying too.¡± Goldrin¡­. Growled. Chapter 6 My companion growled defiantly next to me, facing the monstrous creature that threatened to flatten us. The rumbling sound coming deep from within Goldrin got lower and lower in pitch until it shook my very bones, resulting in my skin breaking out in goosebumps. Suddenly, Goldrin¡¯s mostly white fur exploded from his body. ¡°BORK!¡± I winced from the pain of the last attack I endured. Everything in me wanted to take a rest. The only thing keeping me conscious was the fact that my lifelong pet was still in danger. Even though I was useless, I couldn¡¯t bear passing out or dying if he wasn¡¯t safe. When the cloud of dispelled fur slowly dissipated, I discovered that he wasn¡¯t the one that needed protecting. ¡°BOOOORRRRRK!¡± Goldrin barked in his skinless form. Oh, shiiit! He doesn¡¯t have any skin either! You¡¯re fucked Avalanche!, would have been my thoughts if they weren¡¯t too preoccupied with the idea of death. Goldrin growled again, so deep that the vibrations flowed through his exposed muscles like a shockwave. His slimy red surface shimmered like it was from another dimension. As each pulse of force coursed through him, he grew. Avalanche tugged on the chains in his hand. The spiked balls on the ends formed up on the road behind him. My geriatric companion completed his Bork Bork Growl skill and transformed into something that looked more like it should be Avalanche¡¯s pet than my own. The man-shaped monster in front of me flexed his chain-arm. The canine-shaped beast in front of me pounced. Goldrin, or what I genuinely hoped was still Goldrin, attached himself to Avalanche¡¯s throat. He tugged at the creature¡¯s jugular and neck tendons, using nothing but his considerable weight as leverage and never bothering to stop growling. Avalanche dropped the chains in his hand and clawed desperately at his choker, but Goldrin''s jaw was already locked. Blood began to poor and splatter like a broken sewage pipe. It formed a lake below the two grappling monsters and grew towards me. I was sure that my body couldn¡¯t process anything other than the pain I was feeling, but I was wrong. A gentle breeze blew across the lake of gore and over my body. The hair on my exposed forearms waved peacefully, ignorant of the horrors that the breeze carried. When it reached my nose, I gagged, moments before everything went dark. Constitution Check Failed. Constitution Check Failed. *** My eyelids slowly opened, but immediately slammed shut again due to the bright light in my vision. Thoughts of Goldrin and Avalanche formed in my head. I tried to open my eyes again, but the view was blinding. Panic grew as I painstakingly waited for my eyes to adapt. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! ¡°Okay,¡± I said as I did my best to make out my surroundings through the colorful neon words. I was in my small studio apartment. Goldrin was curled up on the foot of my bed. I sighed relief, mostly because I was safe for the moment and a little because Goldrin¡¯s fur was back. I would much rather have to deal with his hair in my bed than whatever would be left over from his skinless monster form. Available abilities are based on your fighting style and attributes. Please select one. This option cannot be undone. The Matrix - Become a blur of speed that can dodge any strike for 5 seconds. Burning Katana - Your Katana burns anyone that tries to take it from you and wield it. Detect Traps - Nearby traps will be highlighted more often. I chose the Matrix skill for obvious reasons. Chief among them being that getting hurt, hurt. I had zero desire to get mauled by anything ever again, especially Avalanche¡¯s many spiked leaden balls. As if the memory of the pain was back to haunt me, I winced and reflexively covered the mangled areas of my body. Somehow, I was almost entirely healed. The only wound on my body that was left being a half inch hole in my calf. I sat up to check it out. The movement of my bulk shook the bed, causing Goldrin to wake up. He licked my wound twice before whimpering and curling back up into a ball. When I looked back at it, it was gone. The only thing that proved it all wasn¡¯t a figment of my imagination was my torn and tattered clothes. Your pet has learned a new skill - Lick Lick Whimper! ¡°Well, I guess we don¡¯t have to wait to find out what that skill does,¡± I told Goldrin with a smile as I scratched behind his ear, ¡°Thanks bud. I don¡¯t suppose you could tell me what happened? How did we get here?¡± Goldrin regarded me curiously for a moment as if to say, ¡°I turned into a giant skinless monster to slay your enemies with nothing but my teeth AND I can miraculously heal your wounds, but you just wish I could talk instead?¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I said, ¡°Sorry I asked¡­¡± Goldrin laid his head back down, and I threw my feet over the bed. Empty energy drink cans knocked around noisily as I shuffled to my dresser. On top of it, along with my little knife collection and a picture of my mother, stood my Fedora. I grabbed the image and kissed it, then my Fedora. I twirled it around on my fat finger like I had done a million times in the local shopping mall after particularly excellent sessions of Dance Dance Revolution, and placed it on my head. Item Received - Hero''s Fedora My Fedora was always the epitome of style and sophistication, as any enlightened gentlesir would tell you. It always made me feel good to wear it. This time though, something was off. I still felt like a could walk up to a crowd of pretty girls and say something without getting slapped, but I also felt something else. I couldn¡¯t place my finger on it. I would have checked myself out in the mirror, but I didn¡¯t have a single one in my apartment, so I settled for asking Goldrin how I looked. He simply looked at me, then my hat, and then went back to sleep. He didn¡¯t bark or growl though, so I took it as a compliment.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. Side Quest Completed! Find your Fedora. Experience Gained. That¡¯s it? I thought, I came all this way just for some experience points? I let out a long sigh and did what I always did when I was stressed, defeated, or in this case, scared of going back to Lorelai without a magical Fedora that would solve all of our problems. Opening the fridge door, I scooped out an armful of food. I couldn¡¯t see what I was grabbing, but it didn¡¯t usually matter, I would eat it all anyway. I shuffled over to my battle station and dropped all the food onto my desk. I removed my backpack and fished around inside it for my regular flashlight. Goosebumps broke out all over my skin and shivers traveled down my back. I wasn¡¯t sure if my hand found the flashlight or the flashlight found my hand, but either way, I eagerly removed it. Flicking the switch, I illuminated my food, on a marvelous quest to open the various containers and packages as quickly as possible. ¡°Okay,¡± I told myself through a mouthful of something cheesy, ¡°What to do, what... to do¡­.¡± I took another fistful of food from the Tupperware container and tossed it into my mouth before pointing a single, cheesy finger up into the air, ¡°First of all,¡± I said before bending over and opening the mini-fridge under my desk. I pulled out two energy drinks and put them on my desk, ¡°Two for me¡­¡± I said, ¡°and the rest also for me, but for later.¡± I dumped the rest of the energy drinks into my backpack. They didn¡¯t cling around, which was good. I didn¡¯t want them to explode when I opened them up in a few hours, but it still caused shivers to travel down my back again. Ugh, that''s weird, I thought as I shook the odd feeling away and zipped up my bag. I leaned back in my custom gaming chair and finished off the food before grabbing another container. It was salty, with a hint of cream. ¡°Mmm salted beef and cream cheese, my favorite,¡± I said, laying back and digesting all my stress. I felt my nerves calm and my mind clear. I was aware that eating my problems away wasn¡¯t going to help me stop failing my strength and endurance checks, but I had a plan for that. Could I return to the Parlor now? I don¡¯t have anything different, besides my Fedora. Well, Goldrin has some cool skills now. Oh, I have my Matrix ability. I wonder how that works? I pondered in a quickly flowing stream of consciousness that mirrored the speed of the stream of food flowing into my stomach. I should probably save some of this for my party¡­ What does Lorelai eat? Probably fish or something weird. Nikko probably eats anything he could get his hands on. People probably. No, I need something awesome before I return to them. Pushing my monitor back and grabbing a notepad and pen, I began to brainstorm a plan of action. Lift a lot of weights and get stronger Chug my energy drinks Don¡¯t die Visit grandma¡¯s grave? Find something useful to bring back to the Parlor Or get really strong before going back Avenge my Grandma and bring honor to her name Find out what the fuck is going on. Stop it from going on Can it stop? Is this my life, forever? I shook out the cramps building in my hand and leaned back in my chair again. The act of writing never came easy, mostly because my hands were so large and the pens were so tiny. When I wrote, I always felt like my fingers where a group of Ogres trying to wield a Fairy wand, it was as frustrating as it was inefficient. Ogres shouldn¡¯t try to use magic at all since they are so good at physical things, just like me. Oh, that reminds me, I thought in a moment of Eureka. I swiveled around in my chair and faced the darkness of my room. I could hear Goldrin snoring on the bed in the corner. I reached for my flashlight, but it turned out not to be necessary. The thing I was looking for glimmered in the darkness, just enough to get my attention and make me think I imagined it. I stood up and walked over the far corner of my room, adjacent to my super powered companion. Under a pile of empty cans and Tupperware, I found the weights my Gram gave me five years ago on a birthday. I told her I just wanted some monthly credits for my gaming subscription, but she got me these instead. It wasn¡¯t until I almost passed out lifting the weights to make her happy did she reveal that she got me the credits I wanted as well. *** ¡°Phew,¡± I said as I put the dumbells back onto the floor, happy I didn¡¯t have a clock to tell me how long I worked out for. If I had to guess though, it was AT LEAST 72 hours. My biceps were so tight I felt like a gorilla as I walked over to my battle station. I grabbed an energy drink off my desk and cracked it open. I couldn¡¯t lift it up to my mouth, so I had to do one of those awkward lean-back-and-shrug-your-shoulders type of movements to get a taste of the beverage of life. Agility Check Failed - You have fallen. ¡°Damn,¡± I said from the floor. ¡°Bork?¡± Goldrin¡¯s voice asked from the darkness. ¡°I am fine,¡¯ I said, ¡°I just fell. Uh, from working out so hard. That¡¯s all." Rolling over to my stomach, I decided to attempt one of the cruelest and most complicated of exercise movements, reserved solely for like of; Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and other manly men. The first six inches of my pushup was easy, and for a moment I began to think I was one such legend, but then my stomach came into the picture, and I had to try and lift that off the ground as well. Strength Check Failed. It turned out to be an impossible maneuver. There was a reason only the fittest percent of the human population was able to do it. I settled for doing a few pushups with my stomach on the ground and stood up rather proud of myself. I didn¡¯t even have to put my hand on my knee when I stood up. ¡°Okay, making some good progress,¡± I told myself, ¡°still a long way to go though.¡± I looked around the room again, as if it would show me a way to increase my agility. Grandma was pretty agile, I thought, what did she do? Pilates? Side Quest Received! Find your Grandma¡¯s pilate gear. I nodded my head determinedly and chugged another energy drink. Tossing it to the side, I narrowed my eyes and summoned my loyal companion, ¡°Come Goldrin, we have another important quest to complete.¡± Chapter 7 I walked down the stairs of my brick apartment complex in paranoid silence. Admittedly, that was always how I went in and out of the building, but this time it felt more necessary. I could usually hear couples and kids screaming through apartment doors as I passed, but today there was nothing but silence. I never thought it possible, but as I opened the front door, I found myself missing the dangerous hustle and bustle that came with living in the ghetto. ¡°Damn,¡± I sighed, just after taking in a breadth of the polluted air, ¡°It¡¯s still fucking night time?¡± I looked up in an attempt to find the moon but found nothing but wispy and illuminated clouds instead. I guess it could have been smog, but whatever it was, it hid the moon and meant I had no way to tell if time was passing. I turned left and traveled to my Grandma¡¯s house. It wasn¡¯t far, as she couldn¡¯t bear having me live far away. The houses I passed were all silent, all though I avoided making eye contact with any of them anyway, just in case another Avalanche hid inside. Looking down to Goldrin who padded along after me, I wondered if his Bork Bork Growl skill had a cooldown or not. I imagined it would, partly because balance was essential to every game in some way or another, and party because fuck me, right? Before I knew it, I had arrived at my Grandma¡¯s front porch. I walked up the familiar stairs where I had carried a million grocery bags before and couldn¡¯t help but feel like I moved zero. I turned the doorknob that I had scratched not too long ago and couldn¡¯t help but feel like someone else''s key did it. I slowly swung the door open and found myself doubting if I was in the familiar beige apartment at all. A quick glance up the stairs told me that my Grandma¡¯s light was still on and that I was, in fact, in her apartment. Goldrin whimpered. ¡°I know bud, its okay,¡± I comforted my companion as I grabbed my regular flashlight out of my backpack and flicked it on. Batteries, I thought, I should get batteries while I am here. Reluctantly, I decided to be proactive and get the batteries first, before I forgot about them. A brief ransacking of the kitchen rewarded me with a few knives, some more food, a can opener, a ton of matchsticks, and the knowledge that I would have to venture into the basement again for batteries. I stuffed everything into my backpack and threw it back on with ease. Even the dumbells inside it didn¡¯t weigh it down an ounce. It was a useful bit of magic, I supposed, but at the end of the day, I would still rather have my Grandma back. I peered into the blackness of the basement stairway with my flashlight. Fear, or fear and cheese, bubbled up inside my gut. I stepped down anyway. I could have sworn that the light from my flashlight seemed slower than usual. Like it was traveling 670,616,620 mph instead of the usual 670,616,629, but I couldn¡¯t be sure for obvious reasons. It was probably me being a coward, but luckily Goldrin whined to harden my resolve. Giving my razor scooter the side eye, I turned around the edge of the stairs and flashed my light underneath where I thought the batteries would be. I moved a tarp to the side, then realized I should take it with me instead. I put it into my bag, along with some jumper cables, various tools, and then finally a box of different sized batteries. Gathering up my courage, I set about the basement stairs, slowly and composed. ¡°Pheew,¡± I said as I got to the top and didn¡¯t have a monster latched on to my rear. ¡°Now for the Pilate gear.¡± Luckily, Grandma liked to keep everything in the same spot. She would always say things like, ¡°Everything has a place, and everything should be in its place,¡± or ¡°If it doesn¡¯t have a home, it lives in the trash,¡± and, ¡°Milton, pick up your pop cans please, honey.¡± Growing up I would have liked to talk back like most kids and teenagers my age did, and maybe I would have if there was even an ounce of meanness or snark in my Grandma, but she always asked so sweetly. So I always obeyed. I walked into the living room, and sure enough, Grandma¡¯s pilate gear was right in its home, which happened to be a wicker basket at the edge of the couch. ¡°Okay,¡± I said as I let my considerable bulk flop down onto the couch. It groaned. I leaned over the edge to pick up a butterfly-shaped, springy apparatus that my Grandma always squeezed between her legs, and groaned as well. It was bright pink. I put the thing between my legs and looked at Goldrin. He was sitting in the middle of the floor with the flashlight a few paces to his left, illuminated his judgemental face. ¡°Hey, if it makes me more agile, then it is cool,¡± I said as I compressed the thing with my inner thigh muscles. I was surprised that it was so easy. I was even more surprised that it was easy for me and that I had muscle at the awkward, often forgotten about, groin location required to use such a device. I gritted my teeth and squeezed repeatedly. Close legs. Open legs. Narrow legs. Wide legs. No. Yes. No. Yes. Seconds before I was in danger of discovering what, ¡®the zone¡¯ was, an explosion of pink dust covered the living room like a giant makeup bag was crushed and upended. When it all settled, My Grandma sat there, legs crossed, sitting next to Goldrin.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. ¡°Faster!¡± My Grandma barked, rather crudely. I stood up, causing the thing between my legs to shoot off somewhere into the dark house, ¡°What the-¡± ¡°EH!¡± Grandma said, holding up a long finger, ¡°No swearing. You know better.¡± The utter absurdity of her words left me speechless. Was she really going to die, magically come back in a puff of purple makeup dust, then act as nothing happened? was the general gist of my thoughts. Of course, it was no help that Goldrin wasn¡¯t making a fuss about it either. He just sat there, getting his greying fur pat down. ¡°I thought you died¡­¡± I said, cautiously walking closer. She held up a hand, ¡°Stop right there mister. We don¡¯t have much time. I am dead, and I don¡¯t have much time left here.¡± A million questions blurred across my consciousness like race cars speeding down a highway on the same day you accidentally took the sleep medication instead of the Tylenol. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. Grandma looked me in the eyes and said, ¡°I am dead. But I am here now to help you. If you don¡¯t listen to me, you will die as well. So get my Thigh Master and sit down. HURRY, please.¡± My Grandma had never yelled at me before. Ever. She also never died and came back to life before, but that was beside the point. Before I knew it, I was sitting back on the couch, squeezing and un-squeezing my legs. ¡°I see you found your Fedora,¡± Grandma said before glancing to the black sword sheathed to my back, ¡°and your Katana, that is good. Have you inspected them yet?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I said with a respectful nod from the couch. ¡°Annnnd?¡± She replied, her eyes widening as she drew out the word. ¡°Uhh, It just told me the name of each item,¡± I said, recalling the moments when I found them. ¡°Hmmm,¡± Grandma said, turning her head to the side. She pat Goldrin a few times in silence before speaking again. ¡°Okay, you need to level up your inspect skill as soon as possible. The items have powers, but you can¡¯t use them until you know what they are.¡± Grandma deftly leaned down to kiss Goldrin, the action not at all showing her real age, and bid me farewell. ¡°No, wait!¡± I said desperately, standing and losing the Thigh Master once again, ¡°What is this? Who are you?¡± ¡°I am your Grandmother, you idiot,¡± Grandma said as she slowly faded, ¡°The person that gives you advice, tough love, sweet tea, and snacks.¡± Grandma faded away. Goldrin whimpered. I fell back down onto the couch. It groaned. ¡°What the hell?¡± I asked my lifelong companion, ¡°Am I going crazy?¡± Side Quest Completed! Find your Grandma¡¯s Pilate Gear. Experience Gained. *** With an assortment of supplies, Thigh Master, and the entire contents of Grandma¡¯s fridge safely tucked away in my backpack, I set out to find Nikko and Lorelai once again. I opened the front door, saw some movement on the street, and immediately closed the door. ¡®What the¡­¡± I said as I crawled over to the window and peered out, my thighs burning. Outside I could see people walking around, waving to each other, and getting in and out of cars that refused to start. There were about four different people on the street, according to my expert mathematical skills, that all seemed to be just going about their everyday lives. The closest person to my Grandma¡¯s house, was not, however, pretending to be normal, and instead was busy hoping up and down and yelling at the other people. ¡°Shit,¡± I whispered to Goldrin, ¡°I think they spotted us.¡± Goldrin whimpered, just as someone knocked on the front door. I cursed myself for not looking outside before I opened the door and crawled to the middle of the living room, where I slowly stood up and shuffled to the kitchen. ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± I whispered to my companion as I held the back door open. I closed it behind us, and we sprinted across the backyard. I tossed Goldrin over the back fence rather unceremoniously, figuring that he was secretly a skinless killing machine and would be able to survive the fall, and attempted to hop over myself. I placed my hands on the top of the chain link fence, lifted my body up, shook a little bit, then threw my left leg over. After that, the rest was all gravity. I dusted myself off in the stranger¡¯s yard behind my Grandma¡¯s and was thankful that my outer thighs were not as sore as my inner ones. I looked around and got my bearings. The stranger¡¯s house was much like my Grandma¡¯s, which was much like her neighbors, her neighbors neighbor, and all the other houses in the ghetto - all multiple family homes made of rotting wood and painted with ten coats of peeling pastels. Either that or the buildings were brick. Those were usually apartment complexes, like where I lived, and tended to be on the end of the streets. Goldrin and I crept through the yard and into the next street like trained ninjas. Luckily, no Scroungers were trying to accomplish daytime human things over here. The street was empty. I pointed to the end of the road where we could walk a block over and find the Parlor. Goldrin looked at my finger but didn¡¯t say anything. He knew it was safer not to talk, especially on a strange street such as this one. We both slowed as we approached the end of the road. Neon signs flickered at their corners. Against my better judgment, I walked closer still. On the main road, a pile of scrounger bodies. The source of the neon lights read, ¡°Tele-Pizza.¡± My stomach growled, even though it knew that there probably wasn¡¯t any pizza to be found in the building. ¡°Another one!¡± A voice yelled from up high. I looked up, trying to place it, but was greeted by a point. I jumped left, and a carved spear clattered against the road behind me before disintegrating. Another spear came. I bent backward at the knee and let it sail past my chest, with an inch to spare. ¡°Bork!¡± Goldrin yelled angrily. ¡°Stop it!¡± I pleaded at the spear throwing voice from up high, ¡°I¡¯m not one of those things!¡± A reply didn''t come, but I could hear two people arguing about Scroungers that could talk. Luckily, they reached a conclusion that was in my favor, and just in time. I wasn¡¯t sure how much longer I could rely on my Matrix ability to dodge. ¡°Bork!¡± Goldrin yelled. ¡°No! Down,¡± I said with my hand held flat out to Goldrin. Then I tilted sideways and whispered, ¡°Only do that when I am going to die. For certain." I squinted my eyes, waiting for the darkness on top of the building to say something. It was eerily quiet, short from the occasional muffled whisper. Then the darkness grew. Rather, something grew from the darkness. It shot out toward me. A spear? I thought quickly. No, it''s not a spear. A football? I was notoriously bad at catching footballs. I just didn¡¯t understand why they were shaped the way they were. Catching them would be much easier if they were spherical, like most balls. Now those I could catch, at least, every time one out of ten. ¡°Oh shit,¡± I said, realizing the thing thrown at me was not a football, but a perfectly spherical rock. "Agility Check Failed," was the last thing I saw before the rock sailed through my outstretched hands and smashed into my forehead. Chapter 8 ¡°Ahhh,¡± a voice reverberated through my head, causing it to throb in pain. ¡°Ugggh,¡± it sounded again. I winced, wishing more than anything that the it would stop. ¡°Gahh-¡± I said before stopping, finally realizing that the voice was my own. I opened my eyes. Strangers stood before me. All of them regarding me warily, some with murder in their eyes and some with an uncomfortable confusion. I reached for my Katana, but my hand wouldn¡¯t obey my command. All four of my limbs stuck to the wall, fastened with straps. On a table, that resembled more of a marble slab of stone in the center of the room, laid my Katana and backpack. My defeated facial expression fell even further into despair. One of the women standing before me spoke up, no doubt noticing that I knew I was in danger and she had the upper hand, and my Katana, ¡°I have seen you around before haven¡¯t I?¡± She said, stepping closer to the marble island. Pizza ovens made up the wall behind her. I could see that they were all functional, and even turned on. Fires blazed inside them, heating up the room and causing everyone to gleam in a thin layer of sweat. ¡°You are that nerd that lives in the house a street over, aren''t you!¡± She pointed her spear at my face excitedly, ¡°Yes you are! I know because I always thought someone was running a meth lab or a cult in that house. I never saw anyone go in or out, until one day I saw your fat ass!¡± ¡°What? No,¡± I argued, shaking my head and regretting it, ¡°I don¡¯t live in the meth lab house, that house was across the street from me.¡± ¡°No,¡± she said with a tisk, ¡°I saw you in it.¡± ¡°Avalanche was in the meth lab house. Ya¡¯know, the sort of house that seems active but you never see anyone come out of. I live in a normal house.¡± A man spoke up from the crowd of six people, including the spear chucker, ¡°You have seen an Avalanche?¡± The woman turned her spear to the man, ¡°Shut up!¡± After she asserted her leadership, or dictatorship rather, she turned her spear back to me. ¡°Where did you come from? Why were you walking the streets? What do you know about what is going on here?¡± I struggled to answer her questions, mostly because there were so many, but she saw my hesitation as rebellion and turned her spear onto Goldrin, who was strapped to the wall as well. ¡°Answer me!¡± She said, ¡°Or your dog will be the topping of the month!¡± She tilted her head to one of the open pizza ovens. Goldrin whimpered. Suddenly, I remembered the words of my wise Grandma. I inspected everyone in the room as I simultaneously explained that I had no fucking clue what was going on, in excruciating detail. Isabella - Level 30 human - Level 2 Spear Maiden Juan - Level 24 human - Level 1 Survivor Adam - Level 20 Human - Level 1 Survivor Sofia - Level 33 Human - Level 1 Survivor On and on the notifications went as I inspected each of the five members of the Pizza Place Gang. Luckily for me, everyone was level one besides the gang leader. That played to my odds well if I needed to fight my way out. Even though they were all low levels, there was still a lot of them. I wouldn¡¯t be able to make it out myself, but I also had Goldrin, so I was beginning to feel a bit more confident in my odds of survival. Then my hopes were dashed, like that one time the Horde thought they had the Alliance leaders cornered at the battle of a Thousand Orcs. A heavy industrial door swung open to the right of me. A cool mist flowed out of the room. I looked over and could see racks of frozen pizza ingredients, along with a large wooden desk. I couldn¡¯t see the whole desk, or who sat at it, but her voice was as cold as the freezer she hung out in. It was the voice of suburban neighborhoods, yelling at innocent teenagers behind the checkout register, and asking to speak to the manager. It was a voice that stood in stark contrast to the rest of the Pizza Place Gang. When it spoke, I learned that the spear maiden was not, in fact, the ringleader of my kidnappers. ¡°Isabella,¡± the voice oozed out of the freezer like spoiled molasses, ¡°Get back to your post and defend our home base. Now.¡± Isabella nodded, twirled her spear around her back, and disappeared like a House Elf granted an article of clothing by its master. ¡°Bring the human to me,¡± the voice in the freezer commanded, in the tone of a friendly request. Juan and Adam released the straps that held me against the wall. I rolled my neck and wrists, releasing the built-up tension and allowing new blood to flow into my numb appendages. ¡°Can you release my dog as well?¡± I asked, politely. The two gang members looked at each other in puzzlement, unsure of what to do. ¡°Hurry. Up,¡± the voice behind the desk in the freezer said, her friendly tone breaking just slightly, allowing a glimpse of the evil contained within. Juan and Adam started at the command, ditched their tough guy routines, and freed Goldrin from his straps. He wagged his tail in appreciation. The woman behind the desk in the freezer was everything I expected her to be and then some. She wore the standard garb of suburban mothers that were either on their way to the gym or grocery shopping; no one could be sure. If life hadn¡¯t gone to shit and there weren¡¯t monsters roaming about, I would have imagined that she had a Ford Flex parked outside - just enough room to contain all her kids and all her gossip in once convenient, fuel-efficient SUV. She smiled as I entered the freezer, her cheeks moving so far that the earrings below her hair wiggled. With all of her facial movements working overtime to portray a welcoming demeanor, I would have suspected her eyes to at least twinkle a little bit. But they were dead. As I used my inspect ability on her, I daydreamt about covering the top of her face and seeing a friendly expression, only to do the same with the bottom portion and reveal a condescending and perpetually aggravated one. Barbara - Level 45 Human - Level 6 Ice Mage Congratulations! Your Inspect skill has reached level 2! My Grandma¡¯s words echoed within my head once again. I removed my Fedora and inspected it. Hero¡¯s Fedora - Head Slot Special Ability - Increases Chances to Ignore Negative Peer Pressure ¡°Ah,¡± Barbara said with another smile, ¡°A gentleman! I like you already. My name is Barbara.¡± She reached her hand across the desk. I grabbed it and shook it. It was colder than usual but not necessarily colder than it should have been for someone that set up their workspace in an industrial freezer.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°Nice to meet you. My name is Milton,¡± I said, deciding on the spot that being angry was not the route to take with this woman. Not only was I slightly worried about her being an ice mage, I was somewhat jealous that I didn¡¯t have a cool class as she did. But more importantly, I was slightly worried that I was no match for the type of assault she was probably capable of dishing out. If she were a warrior in one of the video games I used to play, she would have a dash tattooed on her back for every teenager she made run home crying from the local Taco Bell for messing up her order. I leveraged my newly improved ability and inspected her again. Barbara - Level 45 Human - Level 6 Ice Mage Max Health Points - 100 Ability One - Icy Stare ¡°What''s going on out there, Milton?¡± Barbara asked as she shuffled around a pile of now-useless paperwork. I ignored the power move, as it wasn¡¯t even remotely relevant nowadays. ¡°I mean outside of the pizza shop.¡± She added. ¡°Uh, well,¡± I started, ¡°Monsters are running around, taking control of people and whatnot-¡± She nodded the entire time I talked until her nods became so fast that she was forced to interrupt me. ¡°I know that,¡± she said, ¡°What I meant was - do you have any idea as to why monsters are running around?¡± I shook my head and got the feeling that she liked to handle both sides of every conversation she was in. I was okay with that, and let her talk. She rambled on about how no one walks outside anymore and how all the remaining humans are holed up behind various defenses. I only half listened, as I was more interested in trying to inspect myself and see if I could uncover any information that would help me out. It was difficult to pull off, but eventually, my eyes crossed enough, and a prompts appeared before me. Milton - Level 27 Human - Level 3 Hunter Max Health - 230 Ability Two - Companionship Ability Three - The Matrix ¡°Damnit,¡± I said, disappointed that I didn¡¯t have a Berserker, Warrior, Ninja or some other impressive class. I tended to be warriors or soldiers in the games I used to play, so one of them would have been nice. But no, I had to be a hunter. ¡°I know!¡± Barbara said, letting the stress of leading a gang and having no one to gossip about it with fall from her shoulders, ¡°It''s terrible.¡± Regrettably, I must have let my confusion show on my face for a moment. Barbara eyed me as if she heard from a friend that a friend told her that I said her kids were ill-behaved. I awkwardly turned my head, attempting to get a glimpse of my Katana so I could inspect it as well. The marble table came into view, and I could feel Barbara bubbling with anger since my attention didn''t focus on her. A gust of chilly air flew past me. The metal door to the freezer slammed shut, cutting off my hopes of inspecting my Katana. That must be another one of her abilities, I thought as I nervously turned back to face the icy woman. By my count, she should have five different skills, unless she leveled up and upgraded an ability or two, and I was only aware of two of them so far. ¡°Sorry,¡± I said, ¡°I get anxious without my Katana, you know¡­ because of the Scrounger attacks and all.¡± By this point, Barbara¡¯s calm and friendly facade faded and was replaced with an Icy Stare, literally. Her eyes gleamed a bright blue from her pale face. Negative Peer Pressure Check - Passed. You have resisted Barbara¡¯s Icy Stare. I relegated myself to celebrate internally. Externally, I was the embodiment of composure and manly grace. ¡°Please don¡¯t do that again,¡± I said, mimicking Barbara''s overly fake smile. She stood up. Goldrin Borked. I didn¡¯t stop him. Something else did though. Something rainbow colored. It stopped Barbara from shooting me with the Icicles that formed in her hands as well. The Pizza Place Gang has declared war on the Tattoo Parlor Party. Winners will receive a legendary boon! If either party refuses to fight, or all members of a party do not participate, Ragnaros will be dispatched to destroy both parties. ¡°What the heck,¡± we both said in almost perfect unison after reading the prompt. In fact, it would have been perfect, but Barbara said something much less ladylike than I did. She looked at me. I looked at her. Then Goldrin looked at me. I looked back. ¡°Do i-,¡± I began to say in a whisper. ¡°BOOOORKKK!¡± Goldrin howled, interrupting my command before I could even finish it. ¡°Agh,¡± Barbara said, covering her ears. Goldrin¡¯s yell echoed from within the enclosed room. It was loud enough that I almost covered my ears as well. ¡°Shut that mut up or I will-¡± ¡°BOOOOORRRK!¡± He yelled again. ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I said, making an earnest effort to act like I was trying to get Goldrin to stop barking. Here we go, I thought as I patted Goldrin. I removed my hands just in time for him to growl. In an instant, his fur covered everything in the room. Barabara yelled as if everything in the world was aspiring against her and the rest of the Pizza Place Gang could be heard banging on the metal door behind me. I waved away Goldrin¡¯s fur and left him to deal with the suburban ice queen as I moved to open it. As I reached for the lock, Barbara yelled something, and I found myself looking at the ceiling. Then the floor. Then my arms, and something that looked like my foot but couldn''t be since I wasn¡¯t limber enough for that, flew across my vision. When my Matrix skill finished, Barbara was left in the same utter disbelief as I was. ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here!¡± I said before Goldrin could repeat his Bork Bork Growl progression and grow more, squishing me to death in the process. He looked at me, then his skinless body lowered to the ground, moments before he flew by me in a streak of slimy red and impacted the metal door. It smashed heavily into the other room. Panicked screams were cut off by the sound of Goldin''s nails scratching over the chilled metal surface. Congratulations! You have defeated Adam! Congratulations! You have defeated Jose! The pretty rainbow colored letters of my notification stood in harrowing contrast of the pit growing in my stomach. They highlighted the fucked-up-ness of my new life. I pressed on and followed Goldrin, channeling my inner Nikko as I went. I didn¡¯t want to forget about the fact that I had just killed two real live humans, but I didn¡¯t want to stop and cry about it either. I was determined not to compartmentalize or distract myself from shitty situations anymore, but at the moment, that was exactly what I needed to do. Goldrin pounced on another faceless and flour-covered member of the Pizza Place Gang. I got another notification. He must be the guy that made the pizzas, I thought to myself, trying to ignore my innocent companion that was currently turning everyone in pools of blood and organic matter. I grabbed my Katana from the marble table, just in time to use it to block the sizeable wooden spatula thrown by a member of the rival gang. She quickly grasped for a knife, but Goldrin¡¯s heavy mass of tissue, muscle, fangs, and claws landed on her before she got the chance. I got a notification letting me know I was responsible for the death of a fourth gang member, along with a level up notification that I brushed to the side for later. ¡°That leaves only two left!¡± I said to a creepily calm, monster Goldrin. He wasn¡¯t even panting, despite all of his extra exertions. His eyes simply darted around the room, looking for his next play toy. ¡°The Ice Mage and the Spear Chuc-¡± I said, stopping when I felt the room grow colder. The raging fires in every oven were snuffed out. I tried to step to the front door but found my shoes frozen to the floor. Behind me, the sounds of a glacier crackling to a stop. I twisted my body around, and my panic-stricken eyes landed on Goldrin, growing even more panic-stricken. The invincible monster that was my sweet, sweet companion was frozen solid in a block of ice. Negative Peer Pressure Check - Passed. You have resisted Barbara¡¯s Tempest Gust. I wretched one foot free, then the other. The ice queen was busy casting and didn''t notice. She should have, especially since I resisted her Icy Stare earlier, but luckily she didn¡¯t seem to pay much attention to the potential of people other than herself. ¡°Her mistake,¡± I said, quickly inspecting my Katana. Hero¡¯s Katana - Weapon Slot Special Ability - Increases Your Initiative I was hoping for something a little more impressive, but my Katana decided to prove that my assumptions were folly. I launched forward, as if my Katana pulled me, and charged the spell-casting soccer mom. She noticed my approach but didn¡¯t stop casting. Instead her skinny, but still somehow flabby, arms flailed in a different pattern. A wall of ice grew between us. Four out of five abilities, I thought to myself. As I physically inspected the wall of ice in front of me and the ice that encased my companion, I was briefly aware of a disgruntled voice coming from outside. It was joined by an excited feminine one. Then, two people burst into the room. Chapter 9 ¡°I fucking knew it,¡± Niko said as he entered the room. Lorelai followed soon after, ¡°Milton! You¡¯re still alive!¡± she said as she ran over to hopefully hug me. She never made it into my arms though, and instead halted half-way. ¡°Jesus, what happened in here?¡± I sighed, ¡°Uh, long story short. These guys attacked me, which I guess was an act of war...¡± ¡°We saw that notification,¡± Niko added as he idly searched the pizza ovens for scraps. ¡°I figured you were behind it.¡± ¡°We came to find you!¡± Lorelai said with a smile. ¡°No,¡± Niko corrected, ¡°We came because we didn¡¯t want to find out what Ragnaros was.¡± ¡°Well, either way. I am glad you came,¡± I replied. ¡°The war isn¡¯t over though, so don¡¯t get comfortable. There is a spell-caster behind this ice wall, and there is another woman that can throw an infinite amount of spears at us. I don¡¯t know where she is though¡­¡± ¡°What the¡­¡± Niko said, finally noticing the block of ice that encased monster Goldrin, ¡°...hell is that?¡± ¡°Oh, that is just Goldrin. Is there any way you can smash him out Lorelai?¡± Lorelai glanced at me warily, ¡°Do we want to do that?¡± I nodded, ¡°Oh yea, he is still friendly, to us at least. He just lost all his skin and got bigger. Don¡¯t worry though; it is only a temporary ability.¡± I wasn¡¯t entirely sure that monster Goldrin would be friendly to Nikko and Lorelai, but I didn¡¯t say so. The party was cool, but Goldrin would always be my number one. Lorelai powered up her super punch ability and slammed her fist into the ice. It exploded into a million shards. Among those shards, my greyish-gold furred companion lay. He whimpered. I gave a mental sigh of relief and said, ¡°See, told you it would be fine. Now let¡¯s smash this ice wall too and deal with the woman behind it, Barbara.¡± The woman¡¯s name left my mouth with hatred and genuine disgust. She was the worst kind of people in my book. And I would have meant that even if I met her a week ago. ¡°Let¡¯s just get outta here?¡± asked Nikko. ¡°No,¡± Lorelai replied instantly, ¡°You saw the prompt. If we don¡¯t participate in the war, then WE WILL find out what Ragnaros is.¡± She paused and looked at the ice wall. Then at me. Then back to Nikko. ¡°My power punch is on cooldown, so you need to break the wall.¡± ¡°Goddamnit,¡± Nikko complained. Then he grabbed a knife from the marble table and began stabbing the wall repeatedly. Little chunks of ice slowly detached and fell to the ground. He grumbled something under his breath and started thrusting faster and faster. When he was about half-way through the knife broke. He swore, then began vigorously punching the wall. I cringed. He punched and punched. A few seconds in, the semi-transparent blue of the ice wall became tinged with red. Nikko complained about the pain but didn¡¯t slow his assault. If anything, he punched harder. Among the clapping of his bare knuckles hitting the ice, I could hear occasional snapping noises. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was his bones breaking, or the ice breaking, and didn¡¯t want to find out. When Nikko let one of his arms drop and began to punch the wall with his other hand, I caught a glimpse of his mangled hand and found out anyway. It hung loosely at his side, fingers twisted and dripping. I felt my stomach tighten and wrench. ¡°No, don¡¯t do that,¡± I said, stifling a gag, ¡°Stop. Stop.¡± Lorelai¡¯s face stepped in front of mine before I could fail another constitution check. I took her hint and turned around, grabbing my backpack from the table and putting it on. Facing away from Nikko, I inspected Lorelai as she inquired about what I had been up to. Lorelai - Level 23 human - Level 3 Survivor Max Health - 160 Ability One - Power Punch Ability Two - Power Jump ¡°I got some supplies for us. Some food. Killed a huge monster with Goldrin. Found my fedora and then I was kidnapped,¡± I said, trying to make everything seem like it wasn¡¯t as exhausting as it was. ¡°What did you guys do?¡± ¡°We explored the street in the opposite direction of the parlor, mostly just looking for food. We didn¡¯t find any though,¡± she frowned, ¡°There was nothing but destruction and Scroungers. We fought a few but ran from most of them. I think they are starting to roam with more frequency now.¡± ¡°Like fucking zombies,¡± I said, remembering how they had already moved onto my street. ¡°She¡¯s not fucking in here!¡± Nikko yelled as he removed his head from a bloody hole in the ice wall. Shit, I thought as Nikko stalked toward me. I backed up, saying something along the lines of, ¡°I swear she was in there,¡± or, ¡°Please don¡¯t hit me.¡± The scariest thing about facing down an angry Niko was that he didn¡¯t show that he was angry, but you still somehow knew he was. He was calm, focused, and at peace with himself. Still, it was easy to tell that he was going to kill you, just not by ordinary means. His anger and hatred filled the area around him. It was invisible, but yet you still saw it and wanted to shit your pants. It wasn¡¯t readable on his face, but it was apparent nonetheless.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. A soft white glow wrapped around Nikko¡¯s hands. It wasn¡¯t his anger or violence though; it was something else. I watched as his fingers straightened and his wrist fell back into place with a wet popping noise. Then I watched as his newly healed fists rose up to punch me. I leaned back, just in time for his dry blood covered fist to swing past my nose. I mumbled something else that even I knew wasn¡¯t going to stop him from attacking me. He swung at me again, and I ducked. The impalpable ¡®Nikko-ness¡¯ that surrounded the parlor owner grew more and more intimidating as I continued to dodge him. Then my five seconds of inhumane dodginess was up, and the curtains of my consciousness fell. *** For the second time in my life, I woke up in another man¡¯s bedroom with no memory of how I got there. This time I wasn¡¯t on Nikko¡¯s bed though, and I didn¡¯t have a mouthful of dog hair. I did a sit up and looked around. Lorelai was sleeping on the floor on the other side of the small room, using a pile of industry magazines as a pillow. Nikko was fast asleep as well, on his sheet and blanketless mattress. I quietly got to my feet and stepped into the main room of the tattoo parlor. I found my backpack sitting on a parlor chair and swapped places with it. Groping around into nothingness, I pulled out my Thigh Master, which was entirely too large to fit into the backpack in the first place. With a grunt, I removed my dumbells as well and got to work. Squeeze thighs. Curl the weights and try to see if I had biceps yet. Squeeze thighs. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Sweat a little and then, as expected, purple makeup dust everywhere. ¡°Good. You are getting stronger. Did you find out what your items did?¡± Grandma said as she sat cross-legged on the floor in front of me, neon lights reflecting off her crocheting needles. ¡°Yes, Gram,¡± I replied diligently. Goldrin padded over from Niko¡¯s room and curled up next to her. She patted him. ¡°You are on the right path then,¡± She said. ¡°The path to what?¡± I asked. Grandma continued to crochet and not look at me, ¡°The path to a more fulfilling life of course.¡± I set my weights down, ¡°What does that even mean?¡± I said, frustrated. I leaned forward in my chair and threw my arms out, ¡°I need to know what is going on all around me. Why are there monsters here? Why do Scroungers take over some people and not others? What is Ragnaros?¡± I lowered my arms and leaned even closer to her, ¡°Can you help me with any of that, Gram?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± She said before slowly raising her head and finally meeting my flustered gaze, ¡°I can try. I don¡¯t have all the answers you seek, but I have all the answers you need. You need to make a decision. Will you wage war among the other parties of survivors for legendary rewards, or will you fight straight to the source of your problems?¡± I leaned back in my chair in thought,What legendary rewards? I just want my life back. ¡°What is the source of my problems?¡± I asked. Grandma stared at me. Her eyes bore into mine for what felt like an eternity but was in reality, only a moment or two, ¡°The Orchestrator. The rainbow letters. Ragnarok. The thing that is responsible for all of this.¡± ¡°How do I get to it?¡± I said to the place my Grandma was just moments before. She disappeared, along with the purple makeup dust and the universal smell of old lady. ¡°Damn,¡± I said with a sigh, leaning back in the parlor chair once again. I sat there for a while deep in thought until I entered that twilight period that existed between being fully awake and being fully asleep. It was peaceful. Lorelai reached into my mental meditation castle, grabbed me by the throat, and pulled me into reality. ¡°Do you have any food?¡± she said, innocently. I jumped at her sudden voice. She was standing in the doorway to Niko"s room, looking worn down and hungry, starving really. ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I said, wiping the sleep from my eyes and reaching down for my backpack. I pulled out the tubs of food from my apartment and my Grandma¡¯s house. They were still cold. ¡°Here,¡± I said tiredly. She grabbed the nearest Tupperware tub and ripped the lid off. She shoveled the continents into her mouth without even checking to see what it was. She looked at me and smacked her lips together ¡°Is that¡­ Cream cheese?¡± I nodded. She took another bite and swallowed, ¡°and¡­Oh, it is salty¡­ and beef?" She swallowed, "Cream cheese and salted beef?¡± I nodded again. She said, ¡°Never heard of it. Kinda strange. It is pretty good combination though. Great actually,¡± and I think I fell in love a little bit. I left all of my food for her to eat at her leisure and grabbed a tub of Grandma¡¯s food for myself since it was bound to be healthier, and more fibrous. We ate in silence, and a weird feeling came over me. I felt like I was waiting for something. Something was on the horizon, and yet, the sun never came. It was just always dark. Always. Dark. ¡°What are we going to do now?¡± Lorelai asked as she wiped her mouth and sat down in one of the parlor chairs. I inhaled deeply, ¡°I am not sure. Two members of the Pizza Place Gang are still out there,¡± I exhaled, ¡°I think we need to find out more about this Ragnarok though.¡± ¡°What makes you say that?¡± she asked, lovingly patting her food baby. ¡°You might think I am crazy but¡­¡± I sat up in my chair, ¡°Do you remember when I said my Grandma was taken over by a Scrounger and I had to kill her?¡± Lorelai sat up as well and nodded, ¡°Well, I think I found an item that can summon her. Or her spirit or something, I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Yea, uh, I used the item, and she just appeared. To give me advice I guess.¡± ¡°And she told you to find out more about Ragnarok?¡± ¡°Well more or less, yeah,¡± I said. She stared at me blankly and threw an impatient gesture with her hands at me. ¡°Well, she hinted that he was responsible for the rainbow letters and straight up said that he was the source of all of my problems.¡± She leaned back in her chair and sighed, ¡°Well, first off. That does make you sound fucking crazy. But, everything around us is crazy right now, and that is the best lead we have to find out why this is all happening. The only lead, really.¡± I nodded, relieved that she felt the same way I did. ¡°Show me,¡± she asked, ¡°I would like to meet your Grandma.¡± ¡°Why?¡± I said reflexively, before shaking my head, ¡°I mean¡­ I can¡¯t. I think I can only summon her once every time I level up, and I just reached a new level and saw her.¡± She shrugged, ¡°Well, it''s worth double-checking don¡¯t ya think?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, grabbing the Thigh Master and putting it in between my legs. ¡°That is the magical item?¡± She asked with a slight chuckle. ¡°Yes,¡± I whispered in shame. She must have noticed that I wasn¡¯t a fan of opening and closing my legs or just working out in front of her in general, and told me I could relax. ¡°It¡¯s fine. We have to do what we have to do now. Everyone gets that,¡± she said warmly. Nikko stepped into the room, ¡°What the fuck are you doing, weirdo?¡± he boomed. Lorelai was wrong. He didn¡¯t get that. Chapter 10 I stood up, ready to defend myself. The Thigh Master sprung away, knocking over a pile of magazines as it collided with a shelf. ¡°Relax, Yoga-man,¡± Nikko said, ¡°I try not to dish out knuckle sandwiches for breakfast. That is a meal more fitting for supper time. Why are you working out anyway?¡± ¡°It''s a long story,¡± I said. We told it to him anyway. To Nikko¡¯s credit, he listened intently, only referring to me as a ¡®bat-shit crazy nerd¡¯ twice, the entire time. ¡°Well let''s go kill this Ragnarok guy and be done with this shit,¡± Nikko said matter of factly. ¡°I am sure it isn¡¯t going to be that easy,¡± said Lorelai, ¡°Maybe we should start with finding him first? Don¡¯t ya think?¡± ¡°Yea, no shit Sherlock,¡± Nikko countered, mocking her condescending tone. Lorelai sighed, then turned to me, ¡°Sorry, we have spent too much time together.¡± ¡°Well, at least we can agree on that,¡± he said before turning to me and pointing a finger to her, ¡°This bitch is all, ¡®let¡¯s go outside and explore. We need to find Milton, I am worried. I¡¯m hungry. Blah blah blah¡¯ she is going to be the death of us.¡± I laughed, ¡°It feels good not to be the only one he hates.¡± ¡°Oh no, fatty,¡± Nikko added, ¡°You are still on my shit list. I had to waste a fucking ability point to heal my back after I lifted your fat ass onto my bed the other day.¡± ¡°Ah,¡± I said, gently caressing the tender bruise on my face, ¡°So that is how you healed your fists before you punched me? You went pretty crazy on that ice wall too, do you have a berserker ability as well?¡± I asked, a tad bit excited. ¡°No, you¡­ jesus¡­ you are such a nerd,¡± he stuttered. ¡°That is just him,¡± Lorelai added, ¡°he doesn¡¯t need an ability for it. He is just an asshole. Isn¡¯t that right Nikko?¡± ¡°Fuck off,¡± he said. I fingered my bruise again, ¡°Well if you have the ability to do so - can you heal the black eye you gave me?¡± ¡°You can fuck off too,¡± he replied, snatching some of my food and shoveling it into his mouth. *** ¡°Everyone ready?¡± Lorelai asked as we all mingled around the front door. Nikko burped - a side effect of finishing off his first ever energy drink, which was coincidentally, the last energy drink in my bag. ¡°I think so,¡± I said as I pat my head for my fedora and then my back for my Katana, ¡°Oh wait. I have to choose a new ability. One sec-¡± You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! Available abilities are based on your fighting style and attributes. Please select one. This option cannot be undone. Inspect Level 3 - Uncovers an additional ability of inspectable creatures. Bait - You become irresistible to your target enemy. Damage taken is reduced momentarily. Set Trap - Lay down an invisible trap to ensnare and damage mid-sized and below enemies. I looked at my party without selecting an ability. I pointed to Nikko and murmured, ¡°Okay, he is the healer¡­¡± I pointed to Lorelai, ¡°She is the¡­. Damage dealer, I guess?¡± ¡°Why are you wasting our time? Pick an ability and let¡¯s go,¡± Nikko said, interrupting my train of thought. ¡°Shut up, Nikko,¡± Lorelai said in my defense, ¡°let him do his thing.¡± Nikko sighed. I returned to my mumbling thoughts. ¡°... so that makes me¡­ SHIT¡± I said, considerably louder, ¡°The Tank.¡± ¡°Yea,¡± Nikko scoffed, ¡°I could have told you that.¡± I shook my head, reluctantly choose the Bait ability, then took a moment to explain the intricacies of team compositions and what everyone¡¯s area of responsibility was. Nikko shrugged but seemed more than happy to sit in the back of fights and heal us. ¡°Yea¡­ if you guys want to take the brunt of attacks, more power to ya,¡± were his final words on the subject. We left the parlor and set out to hunt some monsters. *** I lead my party around the corner and down my street, where I knew some Scroungers would be hanging around. ¡°What happened here?¡± our DPS asked, pointing to the house that Avalanche once held up. His body had long since evaporated, but the shell of the house was still there, in a pile. ¡°Avalanche happened,¡± I said, ¡°the big monster I was talking about. We are not ready for a something of his size, especially since Goldrin¡¯s ability is on cooldown.¡± We approached a few Scroungers. The nearest one noticed us and gave up on its attempt at acting like a normal human and began hopping up and down, alerting the others. ¡°Alright, just like I said before,¡± I started to say. I heard Lorelai¡¯s feet buzz with power, so I didn¡¯t bother to continue my pre-raid speech. She leaped into the air, soared at the height of the tallest houses, and crashed down into a crowd of hoping Scroungers. I whirled my Katana around and charged. The distance between where I was and where the Scroungers were, was way longer than I had thought. By the time I got in range to pull some Scroungers off our DPS, I was huffing and wheezing, but happy. Happy I was able to run the entire distance at all. It was a new record for me. I wasn¡¯t fast by any means, but hey, a win is a win.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. I activated my Bait ability and felt my skin tingle. The sensation turned into a slightly painful one - like pimples covered my body and were all mercilessly popped all at once. Then my world was yellow. I waved my free arm around, trying to dissipate the cloud that blocked my vision. Finally, I succeeded and was able to see the ordinary colored world again. That world was four Scroungers running at me. ¡°Oh, shit,¡± I said, the words squeaking out of my mouth in reflex. Strength Check Failed - you have been tackled to the ground. I hollered out in pain as someone took a bite out of my leg. My screams became muffled as a pair of blue jeans and their accompanying leg covered my face, suffocating me. I twisted my head away to try and get some air, but the leg followed. My arms were too busy trying to stop whatever was biting me from continuing to bite me, and were determined to stay focused on that threat. Just as I thought I was going to pass out, my arms came to the rescue and shoved the leg off my face. I took in a deep breath. My exhale turned into another howl as a mouthful of flesh pulled from my leg. My vision was a blur of damage notifications and body parts. Before I could think enough to wave away the notifications, a new one caught my eye. Nikko has healed you for 15 hit points. I felt the wound from my first bite heal, but just barely. My body was awash with pain. It felt like it would never end. And then, it did. Nikko held his hand out to me. My eyes, widened from pure terror and too much adrenaline, desperately combed over my body, searching for wounds. They didn¡¯t find any. I took a steady breath to slow my heart rate. It had little effect, so I took Nikko¡¯s hand instead and stood up. He chuckled, ¡°Good ¡®tanking,¡± he said, putting particular emphasis on his last word like it was foreign and mocked his tongue on the way out. Lorelai ran up to me, ¡°Oh my god, are you okay? I tried to kill them as fast as I could, just like you said. I am so sorry!¡¯ I stared at her blankly, my emotions anything but blank. ¡°How do you feel?¡± she asked worriedly. I focused on her words. I used her feminine voice as a winch to pull myself out of psychosis. Then, I thought about what she asked. ¡°Hungry,¡± I decided. *** ¡°Okay, here is the next group,¡± Our DPS said as we passed my apartment complex. I wasn¡¯t sure why, but I had the feeling that I should not tell them that I lived there. It probably had something to do with the off chance that if my life returned to normal, I did not want Nikko to know where I lived. ¡°Is there any way you can bait them without shooting that blinding smoke out of your pores?¡± I shook my head, ¡°I have no idea, but in the future, I will only use the ability from further away.¡± Lorelai nodded and looked to Nikko, who nodded as well. Then she activated her Power Jump ability and landed into the next crowd of Scroungers. The orange energy surrounding her sneakers dissipated across the road like lightning as she enabled her Power Punch ability with a red crackle. She swung, and the head of the nearest Scrounger exploded like a watermelon with a rubber band addiction. Four more Scroungers turned on her, three faceless citizens and a big guy in a tank top that looked like he wasn¡¯t afraid of working out in front of people and perhaps, even preferred it. Nikko, who had long since put a great deal of distance between us, yelled at me from across the road, ¡°Explode!¡± I nodded, and a second later every single one of my exposed pores began to stretch open, making way for my Scrounger pheromone. If I had to use one word to describe the feeling, it would be ¡®extremely fucking disagreeable.¡¯ As I sat patiently in my cloud of yellow, a thought invaded my mind. I peeked into my shirt and confirmed that that the inside was not coated with pheromone. Maybe if I cover my skin in strategic ways, I can direct the yellow, I thought, moments before BodyBuilder Bob decided that he was going to set a new personal record in the clean and jerk. He lunged at me, but luckily, I happened to be slightly more agile than the barbells he spent most of his time with. Bob¡¯s muscle-laden facial features twisted in anger like he had just dropped a 40-pound dumbbell on his pinky toe. My Katana whirled. Bob¡¯s thick right arm thumped to the floor. Then... Strength Check Failed - you have been tackled to the ground. ...the other Scroungers caught up to me. My Katana clanged to the ground as I did. My arms returned to their honorable duties of protecting my junk from getting bitten off, and my neck propelled my head around violently so no one could get a pair of blue jeans over it. BodyBuilder Bob stood above me, his tightly drawn face forming a smile. He raised one fist high into the air as the wound from his missing arm spit blood at his less Trenbolone-injected brethren. I caught a slightly jealous glance of his six-pack tightening, then decided it was time to activate my Matrix skill. Bob¡¯s mitten sized fist smashed down into one of the other Scroungers that was on top of me, killing it instantly. Even though I was on my back with a few adult sized bodies weighing me down, my Matrix skill still managed to get me out of the situation. Really, it was equal parts the ability and my body fat. If excessive rolls didn''t cover my body, I wouldn''t have been able to use them like caterpillar legs. As I reached down to pick up my Katana, I was subconsciously aware of two people yelling under my grunting. I stepped forward and slashed the legs off the most situationally aware Scrounger, then chopped off Bob¡¯s only remaining, excessively large arm. It thumped to the ground like a trash bag stuffed with milk and steak. By the time the big dummy realized he was armless, I was already being pushed back by the remaining Scroungers. I slashed horizontally, vertically, did that arms-up-blade-at-a-downward-angle deflect move that you always see in the movies and quickly learned that the films were just one big lie. The result, even though I held an awesome Katana, was that the Scroungers were relatively unharmed and I was exhausted. I was pushed back into the opposite curb, where I promptly tripped and fell. To my credit, my newfound agility allowed me to turn around as I fell. I thanked the Thigh Master in all of its godliness and stood up from my stomach as fast as I could. One of the benefits of being a fat guy, if you have never been one I highly recommend it, is that once you get moving somewhere, it is pretty hard to get you to stop. Sure it takes you longer to get moving in the first place, but the intricate timing and physics that went into being a fat guy happening to be working out perfectly for me at that moment. A Scrounger propelled itself onto my back, scratching around for purchase in the process. It didn¡¯t find any and certainly couldn¡¯t just bearhug me, so it fell into the grass. I felt another one hit me and do the same. My Katana glimmered in the moonlight as I spun it at the grounded targets and took off their heads. Two more notifications filled my vision. I swiped them away with an imperceptible movement of my head and turned around¡­ just in time to see Bob¡¯s. Franco attacks you - Minus 50 hit points - Critical strike! My forehead reeled back and led the rest of my body to the ground. I did my best to scramble backward like a crab, and it became apparent that dumbbell curls did not work out your entire body as I had thought. The armless Bodybuilding Bob, or Franco if you wanted to be polite about it, stalked toward me. As the muscles in my back arms threatened to give out, my panic-ridden brain tried to come up with a plan. Where the fuck is my party? Why did he headbutt me - who does that? How many more headbutts can I take? I recalled that I had around 200 hit points. I was pretty sure I had over. I wasn¡¯t happy about my recollection skills at the moment though - it meant that my only option was to stand up¡­ and take some headbutts to the face. Chapter 11 I turned to my side and started the arduous process of standing up. It had gotten easier as of late, but it was by no means a trifle. As I completed stage four, the final step where your legs are straight up, and you are working on bringing your head up along with them, I received my first headbutt. It landed square on my back. My arms flew from the impact, and I hollered in pain. Luckily, I was too massive to fall. For that to happen, Franco would have to take me out at the knees as the other Scroungers had. A damage notification told me that the headbutt hit me for around 50 hit points. It hurt, a lot, but at least I knew that Franco wasn¡¯t capable of anything more dangerous. Entirely on my feet, I turned around, just in time to take another veiny forehead to the nose. My face erupted in blood, but I kept moving. One more attack. Get the Katana before number two or your fucked, I thought to myself, always my number one cheerleader, after Grandma and Goldrin, of course. I got sight of my Katana but didn¡¯t have the opportunity to grab it. Franco was in my face like a persistent middle school bully, except much more massive and without any arms. It was everything I could do not to be belly bumped into the house behind me. Then I realized, if there was one thing I had over Franco, besides superior intellect and style, it was a belly. I waiting for Franco to bump me and follow up with a headbutt like he had been doing, then I dodged left. I didn¡¯t use my Matrix ability. His large head was easy to avoid now that I knew to expect it. I curled my body in slightly before letting my stomach in all its glory explode outward with an energetic, ¡°Pahhhhh!¡± Franco stumbled backward, like any other middle school bully that wasn¡¯t expecting any physical repercussions for his actions, and fell to the ground. I seized the opportunity to grab my Katana and look around. A notification popped into view. I quickly dismissed it. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said as my eyes fell upon Lorelai. She was leaning over Nikko¡¯s body. I yelled to Goldrin, who had been nervously pacing around me in large circles, to heal Nikko. Then I looked back down to the big dumb Scrounger that didn¡¯t know when to die. He was currently on his stomach and digging his face into the grass as his feet tried to walk up. If I would have given him another minute or two, I was sure he would have figured out how to stand up that way. My Katana whirled. Large Franco became two smaller Fracos at the waist. I waved away his death notification, the preceding level up one, and ran over to my party. ¡°Is he okay?¡± I asked Lorelai as I fell to my knees beside Nikko. His skin was pale and mottled with red and purple. Thin cuts covered his body like he had just fought his way through a mile of pricker bushes and then realized he had forgotten his wallet. ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± Lorelai said, voice full of that desperate feeling you get when you know something needs to be done, but you don¡¯t know what so you fidget around trying to stay busy. I inspected him. Nikko - Level 47 human - Level 4 Survivor Max Health - 540 Inspect level 1 Inscription Vampiric Light 2 It gave me no other information other than the fact that I could see all of his abilities. That wouldn¡¯t help Nikko come back to life though, if he was dead. Goldrin whimpered and licked Nikko¡¯s face and some of his cuts began to heal. We sat there for a long time, utterly helpless, hoping that Goldrin¡¯s weak Lick Lick Whimper skill would be enough to treat him. After what felt like an eternity, Nikko coughed, covering Goldrin in a splattering of internal blood. My companion looked surprised but didn¡¯t stop until Nikko weakly shoved him away. ¡°Get off me you dirty mut,¡± He complained. ¡°What happened?¡± I asked. ¡°I saved your fucking lives that¡¯s what. You can thank me later," he pitifully rolled to his side, "Let¡¯s go home.¡± *** Lilly and I each wrapped one of Nikko¡¯s arms over our shoulders and escorted him to the Parlor. We laid him down on his mattress, where he promptly fell asleep. We closed the door at his request, after much arguing on whether it was a good idea or not, then took seats in the main room. ¡°Think he will be alright?¡± I asked. Lorelai sighed, ¡°Yea. I think that asshole will outlive all of us.¡± I laughed, ¡°You''re probably right.¡± She motioned to my bag. I pulled out some food and tossed her a container. We sat in silence, the only sounds in the entire world being Nikko¡¯s snoring, my perpetually heavy breathing, and the occasional sloppy wet sound of a dog licking himself off in a corner somewhere. I mentally asked the notifications that I had dismissed earlier to reappear.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. You have learned a new skill - Knock Down! That would be my belly bump ability. Definitely useful. Why is it a skill though? I thought as I chomped down on Grandma¡¯s gluten-free, no carb, spaghetti. I wasn¡¯t sure how such a meal could be carb free, or what carbs were to begin with, but with how much my Grandma ate the stuff I figured it would taste good. It didn¡¯t. Knock Down - On success, your enemies will be stunned and unable to get up or attack from the ground for 4 seconds. Oh, I said to myself, so if I successfully knock down a trained ninja he will suddenly forget how to do that cool front flip-stand up thing they do? Then after four seconds he will remember and get up like usual? It was strange seeing such a movement impairing ability being available in real life, but I wasn¡¯t going to fight it. If there was one thing I understood it was game mechanics. If anything, I was excited about them. I spent my whole life guessing how people would react in social situations or worse, in bullying situations. Game mechanics made life easy to understand and gave me one less thing to think about. I chomped on the grass spaghetti with increased vigor, until I remembered my Bait ability. That ability was exciting too, I thought mid-chew, until I saw the game mechanic happen. The Scroungers weren¡¯t just magically attracted, no, that would be too easy. Monsters and magic all around me, but all my pores have to open up so I can release some stupid yellow Scrounger pheromone... The memory of my Bait ability caused my skin to prickle, but I shook it off. Bait activated on me, so theoretically, the Knockdown ability wouldn¡¯t. Whatever magic that caused my enemy to forget how to stand, wouldn¡¯t be my problem. The complexities of my current situation weighed on me until I let out a long sigh. Lorelai asked me if everything was okay through a mouthful of salted beef and cheese. ¡°Yea,¡± I said, ¡°Just thinking about the rainbow letters.¡± ¡°Me too,¡± she said, leaning forward in her chair and putting away her Tupperware, ¡°I think I am getting the hang of it all. Tell me if I am right¡­¡± She plucked her teeth with her tongue and thought for a second, ¡°Okay, have you inspected Nikko lately?¡± I nodded. ¡°Did you see his vampiric healing ability?¡± I nodded again. ¡°Well, vampires like to suck blood right, to heal themselves or something? What if he heals us, but it hurts him in the process. Like a reverse vampire. Kind of?¡± She said, slightly trailing off at the end. I nodded, but this time only after thinking for a second and agreeing that her hypothesis could be possible. ¡°AND,¡± She said, finding her excitement once more, ¡°Nikko didn¡¯t even get attacked in the fight. Or at least not that I saw. I guess it is possible that something attacked him in the split second I wasn¡¯t looking, but I am pretty sure that didn¡¯t happen. Besides, I haven¡¯t seen any Scroungers attack in a way that leaves you with a bunch of scratches.¡± I pointed to the flaps of inscribed skin hanging around the building, ¡°Well, besides Brittnie, she was a scratcher. But I think you are right. He doesn¡¯t heal us. He gives us his health, which he has a ton of¡­¡± ¡°Exactly¡­.¡± I nodded one last time and reached for my wallet. I rifled around for something I never thought I was ever going to get the opportunity to use. Past my folded up character sheet, a business card from the local Gamestop, and my Grandma¡¯s picture was the thing. I got it around the same time all the kids my age were obsessed with manliness and revoking each other''s masculinity if they did something girly. I handed it to her, and she read it aloud. ¡°Harken thee! You have been accepted into the ranks of the learned, the wise, and the stylish. For wherever you now go, you will find safety in our ranks. You will find kindness, sympathy, freely flowing fountains of Mountain Dew, and an extra pair of D20s. Welcome!¡± She looked at me, confused. ¡°Turn it over,¡± I prodded with a grin. ¡°Nerd Card?¡± she asked before realization dawned. She rolled her eyes and put it in her pocket with a smile. I fell in love a little bit more. *** ¡°Yahooooooo!¡± I yelled from on top of my level 200 epic flying mount. It took countless hours of raiding the end-game dungeon to find it. And even when I did, the loot distribution system gave it to someone else, so I had to go back and do it all again. In the end, though, I succeeded. I was the owner of some seriously legendary loot and riding it was just as legendary as it sounded. At least it was until my mount went against my command and plummeted downward. Mountain ranges and vast grasslands dispersed with level 10 monster camps became a blur as we spun to the ground. I yelled out for my mount. I even tugged on the dragon''s ears, but it ignored my commands. We crashed into land at bone braking speed. After the impact, I checked my health bar. It was gone. I looked around frantically as if that was going to help the dust clear around me faster. I called out for my mount, but my prized possession never came. ¡°Well...¡± an annoyed voice rang through my head. I was in a classroom, my sixth-grade math classroom to be exact. I was sitting in the back like I always did because my teachers made me. They never said as much, but I knew it was because I was too fat for the other kids to see around. The chair, specially designed for people like me, had the name of my D&D party engraved into it. All the kids were busy looking at me. I cleared my throat and was surprised at the high pitched voice that came out, ¡°Ummm¡­ what was the question again?¡± Nicole, my nazi of a teacher, was wearing a regal set of plate armor. I looked at her curiously as she talked, trying to remember what dungeon dropped that type of armor. Then she was naked, and I looked at her with even more curiosity. ¡°Well¡­.¡± Nicole said, back in her usual conservative shirt and pants. ¡°Sorry, I¡­ Couldn¡¯t hear you.¡± Her patience with me broke, as it usually did, ¡°Get your head out of the clouds, Milton. We are all paying attention here. Everyone except you, Milton. Do you think you could stop wasting our time and¡­¡± I dropped my chin as far as it would go and focused on the letters, ¡°BFFs¡± that I had scribbled into the desk. The boy from across my Grandma¡¯s house, our DND warrior, wanted to name our group something else, but we all decided that Battle Furious Fiends was what summarized us best. ¡°Milton! Do you hear me!¡± echoed in my background, ¡°Milton! Milton!¡± Chapter 12 ¡°Milton!¡± Nikko yelled, his face so close to mine that I could smell his breath. It hit me like a gust of air that had been stuck in a refrigerator without power for weeks and was finally let out. To his credit though, that was just, ''General Apocolypse Smell'' anyway. It snapped me awake and helped me remember I wasn¡¯t back at school, all at once. ¡°What,¡± I asked from the floor where I had fallen asleep. ¡°It is time to go out and train again, get ready,¡± He replied, throwing a bottle of water on my chest before walking over to Lorelai. She was curled up in a ball on the other side of the room, using a pile of magazines for a pillow again. ¡°Lorelai!¡± He yelled, causing her to jump and throw out her hands in reflex. One of them caught him across the cheek. He walked away, grumbling the entire time, and parked himself by his tattoo gear, where he began picking up various supplies and putting them on shiny metal trays like a bariatric surgeon preparing for a gastric bypass procedure. I stood up, realized that I still felt like I got headbutted to death, and immediately found a chair to sit in. I rolled my neck around, eliciting a few satisfying cracks and brought up the rest of my notifications. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! Available abilities are based on your fighting style and attributes. Please select one. This option cannot be undone. Inspect Level 3 - Uncovers an additional ability of inspectable creatures. Knock Down 2 - On success, your enemies will be stunned and unable to get up or attack from the ground for 4 seconds. Reduced cooldown. Hustle Trap - Build a trap with any available supplies to ensnare, damage, misdirect or slightly inconvenience your enemies. Well, I might not like it, but my class IS listed as a Hunter, I thought as I reluctantly chose the trap skill. Ideas of spiked pits, great bear traps, hidden trip wires, and nooses tied to bent trees flooded my mind all at once. My skin tickled with anticipation and even a little hope. Hope that I found the secret ingredient to the formula of life, my real life. If I could make enough of these traps, I would surely be able to get back to it. ¡°BBbzzzzzZZ,¡± A sound intruded into my eardrum, causing my shoulders to shrug to my ears. ¡°Wha-¡± I managed to say as I turned around, half scared for my life. Nikko was standing behind my chair, waving his tattoo gun around. The sight of him did not calm my nerves. ¡°Time to finally get your shield, buddy,¡± he said with a smile. ¡°Okay,¡± I said out loud. Internally, I thought, Only because you are our healer and I know your secret... Getting the tattoo wasn¡¯t as bad as I initially thought it was going to be. It still wasn¡¯t something I could see myself getting if the whole apocalypse thing wasn¡¯t going on, but hey, to each their own. The pain was a walk in the park compared to the pain of being the party''s tank. I would take the soft buzzing off a needle over the violent bites, scratches, and smotherings from a horde of Scroungers any day. Plus, the blue shield that coated my body whenever I tried to stab myself with my Katana was remarkable. ¡°Cool!¡± Lorelai said as she gazed upon Nikko¡¯s handy work. ¡°What does it mean?¡± ¡°Uhh,¡± I said as I tried to glance around my back to where the tattoo was. ¡°I don¡¯t know; I haven''t seen it yet.¡± ¡°He didn¡¯t ask you what you wanted either did he?¡± she asked. ¡°I don¡¯t decide what it is,¡± Nikko replied rather pleasantly. His sudden shift in mood set me on edge. ¡°I keep the needle inked up and place it on someone''s skin. My Inscription ability takes care of the rest.¡± ¡°Shit,¡± I said, standing up and side-shuffling over to a mirror. I was more than a little afraid that Nikko''s, ¡®Inscription¡¯ skill decided to grant me another penis, or at least a drawing of one. On the back of my right shoulder was a smattering of black ink and red blood. I wiped it away with a gore cloth and revealed the letters, ¡®BFF.¡¯ *** ¡°Okay¡­¡± I said as I stood up and slowly backed away from my first ever trap. It lay on the street where we thought we could lead some Scroungers and glistened in the moonlight. I had no idea what it would do, but it looked like it would definitely do something. I studied it with a creator¡¯s love and noticed a cigarette butt next to it. Without thinking, I picked it up and put it in my pocket, to be thrown away later. ¡°And that thing is going to help us fight?¡± asked Nikko. ¡°Why is there a scooter in there?¡±If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. I nodded, ¡°Yes. I think so. I just used everything I had in my bag to make it.¡± He continued to study the Scroungers down the road aways and said, "Hustle Trap. Makes sense." before giving Lorelai a nod. She nodded back, and a second later, she was gone. I looked up just in time to see the orange glow of her sneakers skating across the night sky. Human screams marked her landing, and as the magical orange light faded, a red one came alive. She managed to punch two Scroungers to death before running back to us. ¡°Don¡¯t get near it!¡± I yelled from a bush on the side of the road as Lorelai rocketed past my trap. Twelve Scroungers followed after her. Some of them looked fit and would have probably caught her if they weren¡¯t prone to the occasional hop. It was as if they were instinctively trying to jump out of their borrowed skin. When the first Scrounger was thirty paces from my trap, the Razor scooter at the center of it shimmered. The collection of screwdrivers and duct tape I used to fix it upright fell away and hit the asphalt with a soft clang. As they fell, the individual matches taped to them struck sanding paper and exploded. The flames grew and joined together, fueled by something more combustible than potassium chlorate. Smoke billowed and began to fill the street. When it cleared, my razor scooter stood menacingly, six feet taller than usual. The Scroungers shrugged the surreal sight off and continued to run past. My Scooter trap shimmered again, then completed a quick 360-degree turn and disappeared like it was never there at all. Yet, Scroungers all around the world, or at least I liked to imagine, learned to fear Razors that day. ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± Nikko said as he appeared from behind a fence across the street from me, ¡°It did help¡­¡± He walked off the curb and began kicking the mass of leg-less Scroungers that littered the street. They all wreathed in pain and frustration until Nikko¡¯s boot provided them release. Lorelai ran back over. Panting and with a confused expression, she asked, ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Milton¡¯s fucking trap happened, that¡¯s what!¡± Nikko exclaimed. Lorelai looked at me, causing me to flush, and Nikko¡¯s hand patted my back moments later. I had no idea it would do that¡­ I thought. ¡°You just saved us a bunch of time! Think you can do it again?¡± Nikko asked. I was pretty sure I couldn¡¯t, at least not without finding another scooter first, so I told him as much. His excitement seemed to die down a tad, something I was comfortable with, but in general, he didn''t care. ¡°Not a problem, we will find you some more materials. Let¡¯s go home and plan a supply run. I want to always have a few traps available.¡± When we returned to the Tattoo Parlor, Nikko excused himself to his room. The banging of pots and pans, as well as the occasional magazine stack falling, could be heard through his door with the shoddy, ¡®Employees Only¡¯ sign. Lorelai and I took seats. She raised her nose at me. I nodded at the signal and pulled out some food for her. She swallowed her new favorite meal of salted beef and cheese with effort and said, ¡°It¡¯s a Passport¡­" She took another bite and swallowed. ¡°My shield tattoo. At first, I had no idea what it meant, but I had a lot of time to think about it.¡± she said with a shrug, ¡°Before all this happened I was in college. Not because I wanted to, but because my parents expected it. I always wanted to travel the world, meet new people, and be spontaneous, but I could never build up the courage. So as I dedicated my life to studying, the thought of traveling after I finally graduated got me through. Without it, I would have given up. It was my shield then, and I guess it is still.¡± I followed up quickly and asked the first thing that came to mind - that way she couldn''t ask about mine, ¡°Did you study interior decorating?¡± She laughed, spitting out some cheese in the process, ¡°Gods, no.¡± She wiped her mouth. ¡°My parents would have disowned me if I did. I am studying psychology.¡± ¡°So you have already profiled me then?¡± She laughed again, ¡°No. You are an open book as far as I am concerned. There would be no challenge in doing that, no offense.¡± ¡°Offense taken.¡± Lorelai leaned toward me and whispered, ¡°I am trying to profile Nikko though.¡± She looked at his door. The sound of a television smashing to the ground echoed from behind it, followed by cursing. ¡°I just can¡¯t figure him out. Like, at first I thought he was just a homicidal maniac. Easy. But then we discovered that he willingly sacrifices his own life to heal us. Not only that, but giving tattoos seems to make him extremely happy. Serene almost. Its like he is an murderous gang-banger with a passion for art. I¡¯ve never seen anything like it.¡± ¡°And what about me?¡± I asked, ¡°Am I really not that interesting?¡± She sat back and smiled, ¡°I didn¡¯t say ''you were not interesting.'' I said you were an open book. You are easy to understand. You have a passion for video games and wear it with pride. You are clearly sheltered, no offense. But you are coming out of it. You care about stupid little things like cleaning up litter, even though the world has gone to shit. I find it endearing.¡± ¡°I guess I will take endearing over interesting,¡± I said as I grabbed my work out gear from my bag. I laid my thigh master at my feet and began to fumble around with the dumbells, trying to figure out a way to work out the muscles in the back of my arms, just in case. Lorelai swallowed another bite of salted beef and cheese and cleared her throat, ¡°Lean over the chair and prop yourself up with one arm. Swing the other arm back while holding a dumbbell. That will work out your Tricep if that was what you are trying to do¡­¡± ¡°My Tricep is in the back of my arm?¡± I inquired. She nodded. ¡°Thanks," I said. Lorelai allowed me some quiet time, which was probably only a minute or two, while I completed my intense new routine. Then she asked me if I leveled up after our most recent fight. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and nodded. She rubbed her hands together greedily. ¡°Good, I finally get to meet your Grandma!¡± ¡°Yea,¡± I said, reaching out and grabbing the Thigh Master and putting it between my legs, ¡°I guess you do¡­¡± I squeezed, and just like every other time, my Grandma appeared cross-legged on the floor with a puff of purple makeup dust that covered the Parlor. The next few moments spiraled out of control faster than I could handle. Lorelai screeched in excitement. Goldrin lazily waddled over. Grandma asked me if I finally found a nice girl to settle down with. Lorelai giggled. Nikko came out of his room looking crazed and holding a large paper map. Grandma looked at him. Then said, ¡°Nikko! Long time no see, Pal!¡± Chapter 13 ¡°Hey, Granny. I heard you didn¡¯t make it?¡± Nikko asked with furrowed brow. Grandma laughed, ¡°You did, of course! That''s not surprising. You were always the most clever out of all your little friends.¡± I stole a glance from Lorelai; just long enough to mouth the words, What The Fuck¡­ Nikko took a solemn seat across from her, ¡°Fucking Greg didn¡¯t make it either,¡± he started. ¡°Sorry dear,¡± she said, her face showing that she meant it, ¡°Maybe if you find a special pair of¡­ Oh. What are those shoes you two loved when you were kids?¡± ¡°Jordan¡¯s,¡± Nikko said, looking up. ¡°Yes, Jordan¡¯s. Maybe if you find a special pair of Jordan¡¯s you will be able to click them together and see him again,¡± Grandma said, clicking her fingers together excitedly as she spoke. Nikko looked up at her expectantly, then to my Thigh Master and me, and back at Grandma again. They both erupted in laughter. Blanching, I gave one last unbelieving look to Lorelai before I threw out my hands and asked, ¡°What the fuck is going on here?¡± The two old friends took their time transitioning from laughter to normal speaking. After a few ooh''s, ahh¡¯s, and four wiped cheeks, my Grandma finally answered my question. ¡°When you live in one place for so long you get to know the people around you. Nikko has lived in this neighborhood almost as long as I have,¡± she said. Nikko added, ¡°Yea, I had no clue you two were related. If I had known he was your Grandson, I wouldn¡¯t have given him such a hard time!¡± He smacked me on the back. ¡°Okay. Okay. I am glad you guys got the chance to see each other again, but this has to stop. We only have so long with you, Grandma, and we need some advice.¡± Grandma gave a knowing smile to Nikko before turning to me, and then the group as a whole, ¡°You guys already know what you need to do. Grow stronger and find a way to Ragnarok!¡± With that, my loving Grandma and all of her accompanying dust disappeared, replaced by rainbow letters. Her parting words echoed throughout the parlor and lingered like a ghost as I read the new notification. ¡°Nikkoooooo. Be nicer to Pommy, will you dear?¡± she said. Quest Updated! (New for party members) A beloved neighborhood Grandma came into contact with the deadly Scroungers and like many before her, didn''t live to tell the tale. She did live long enough for one thing though - to task you with bringing justice to her name and defending her honor! Your party is gathered and named. Will the Tattoo Parlor Gang be the ones to end Ragnaros¡¯ reign and lay to rest those who have fallen by his hand? Quest Type - Chain Current Objective - Slay the remaining members of the Pizza Place Gang. *** ¡°There it is!¡± I whispered, pointing to the front of a hardware store. Unlike the fancier establishments in the neighborhood, this store didn¡¯t have any neon lights. Only a sad, possibly spray painted, sign separated it from the other plain brick buildings. ¡°Okay,¡± Nikko whispered, ¡°Milton, you go in first.¡± ¡°I thought you were going to be nicer to him?¡± Lorelai interjected, but I already grasped the copper doorknob in my hand, ready to knock down anything that came after me. I twisted my grip and entered. Nikko¡¯s whispers trailed in after me, ¡°What? He is our tank.¡± I walked slowly, hyper-aware that the light from outside didn¡¯t reach inside. Well, I thought, if something was going to bite my leg and try to suffocate me, it would have already done so. I flicked the switch on my regular flashlight and quietly swept it across the square room. My light uncovered various items in this order: jumper cables, flat tire repair kits, some wrenches, a pretty face, and more wrenches.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. The words, ¡°Agility Check Passed¡± flew across my vision like they were towed behind a plane. They sparkled and popped as they went, like the sky on July 4th. ¡°Paahhhhh!¡± I said as my stomach repelled a charge from the Scrounger with a pretty face. She flew back through the gap in shelving and smashed against the brick wall with the sound of two wet rocks hitting each other. A trail of blood began at her cranial impact and followed her to the ground as she slid onto her rear, completely dazed. That¡¯s how that works, I thought as my Katana finished her off before I could count to four. I wanted to test the truth behind my Knock Down skill description, but I wanted to find Ragnarok more. The electric sizzle of Lorelei''s fist powering up marked another soon to be dead Scrounger hiding in the darkness. I heard a cracking sound, a thump, then Nikko announced that everything was all clear. ¡°Grab everything you can and bring it to me, quickly,¡± I said, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and then to the ground. I watched as the entire contents of a hardware store disappeared. For some reason, I paid particular attention to every item as it was swallowed up by my bag. When everything was inside, I put it back on and tossed Nikko my flashlight so he could consult the map for our next location. I had the satisfying feeling that I had a handle on everything inside my bag. I KNEW everything that was in there, even down to the smallest nut and bolt. Well, I knew the names of the things I knew before, which admittedly wasn¡¯t much, but I had a good grasp of the potential of the items contained within. That was all that mattered. Goldrin borked. The flashlight turned on him just as I did, ¡°What is it, buddy?¡± I asked. He was pointing his barred teeth at the store entrance and didn¡¯t reply a first. He borked again. ¡°Whoa whoa whoa! I said, shooting my hands out and deftly sliding over to him on my knees. ¡°What¡¯s going on, Goldrin?¡± Lorelai inquired, panic bubbling in her words. Even Nikko joined in to try and comfort my companion, but it was too late. Goldrin¡¯s greying fur began to vibrate under my hands. His usual nonchalant expression turning aggressive. Uh-oh, I thought as I stood up and motioned for my party to back away. ¡°Give him some space unless you want a mouthful of dry dog hair,¡± I warned. Goldrin¡¯s growl finally grew enough to be verbal; then he shed his skin and the accompanying fur all at once with a demonic shake. More barks. More growls. More concerned glances from my party. Then he stepped through the storefront like it was a stuck doggy door. Bricks crumbled and fell over his skinless body on his wake, allowing the moonlight to shine through red dust and illuminate the empty shelves of the hardware store behind me. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I said. My Katana whirled an arc in my hands and seemed to pull me toward my companion. I stepped through the rubble and entered the street. Steel chains clinked a deadly melody against the asphalt. I inspected the creature that carried them. Avalanche- Level 12 Max Health Points - 892 Ability One - Lieutenants Shout Lorelai and Nikko stepped through the rubble and took a spot beside me with a gagging noise and a curse, respectively. ¡°Lorelai?¡± I prompted. She threw up, the sight of Avalanche¡¯s overexposed muscle fibers too much to bear. Goldrin growled his way to his final size and leaped. ¡°Can you magically jump away from something, instead of jumping to an enemy?¡± I asked her. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said, eying the puddle of cheese at her feet and probably wondering how carrots got inside. ¡°Then stay back and protect Nikko,¡± I said, a split second before my Katana whirled and carried me into Avalanche¡¯s range of attack. I hoped that Goldrin would be able to keep the creature distracted long enough that it wouldn¡¯t be able to whip me with its bouquet of spiked balls. If he couldn¡¯t, then I would be able to survive one attack with my Matrix ability and possibly another with Nikko¡¯s help, but no more. ¡°For the Horde!¡± I yelled as I hustled to join my companion in battle, Katana poised above my right shoulder. Admittedly, it wasn¡¯t the best war cry, but at least I had one that I was familiar with enough to use in the heat of the moment. Goldrin had his massive jaws locked on Avalanche¡¯s larynx, clamping it closed and distracting the taller beast¡¯s hands. They dropped the chains they were holding and allowed me free reign of his tree-sized legs. I slashed at the dark leather pants with growing precision. As the thick leather finally gave way to raw muscle fiber, one of Avalanche¡¯s hands came down to investigate the source of his pain. His fingers prodded around carefully at first, then violently when they landed on my head. I fell to the side from one swift kick. My Katana skittered across the road. I got up and grabbed it, then yelled to Nikko, ¡°HEAL GOLDRIN!¡± My command couldn¡¯t have come sooner. Avalanche changed his strategy of trying to break the dog¡¯s jaw lock and instead opted to beat Goldrin to death were he was. His massive hands pounded my companion¡¯s back one by one, like a gorilla with an extra broad chest. ¡°Aaah,¡± I whispered as I charged the tall monster again. I sucked in my stomach slightly and activated my Knock Down ability on the nearest leg. The leg swung backward, resulting in a somewhat off balance monster and nothing more. Unfortunately, what goes up must come down, or so they say. I learned that this expression also made sense for things that swing from left to right, like Avalanche¡¯s leg. I sailed through the air before hitting the road and tumbling like I was thrown from a car without a seatbelt. A notification told me I took around 60 damage from each impact; the swinging leg and the immovable pavement. I used all of my adrenaline to stand but was eventually brought back to the ground by a compressing pain in my chest. Each breath got shorter and shorter. Grasping at my lungs, I rolled to my back, just in time to see the moonlight blotted out. I raised my Katana and activated Matrix, successfully parrying every spiked ball that came my way. Before I could suffocate in my own blood, I yelled, ¡°LOR! Attack! Now!¡± I was conscious long enough to see an orange light jump towards my foe, then a red one crackled to life and slammed into Avalanche¡¯s shoulder. A meaty arm fell to the pavement. My last thought was of Goldrin. Chapter 14 ¡°Fuck,¡± Nikko cursed, ¡°Grandmas gonna be pissed at me.¡± My eyes opened just long enough to see him gently set Goldrin down onto the parlor floor, right next to my body. Then he ran right back out the door. My consciousness faded. Something bumped my body, alerting some sort of biological survival trait that forced me to wake up again. I turned my neck to the side, trying to determine if what hit me was friend or foe. It was Lorelai. She looked worse than I did, or at least, she looked worse than I assumed I did.My bubbly breathing meant that I probably wasn¡¯t in my best shape. Questions flooded my mind, but I could only answer one of them. Lorelai was a friend, and in no condition to hurt me anymore than I already was. Darkness took me as I drowned. ¡°Just put it on him!¡± A voice yelled, reaching into my nothingness and taking me out with it. My eyelids slowly rose. I blinked in rhythm with thejumping red of the Parlor¡¯s determined sign. Nikko was busy barking orders at two people I didn¡¯t recognize, both males with tattoos below their eyes. My body coughed. I watched as blood shot from my lungs. It flickered neon - then splashed somewhere down by my feet. ¡°Hurry up!¡± the voice said, its hysteria no longer enough to keep me in the real world. I returned to the place I was before. I can¡¯t say how long I was there foruntil the weight of my heavy head moving around brought me back. ¡°It¡¯s a legendary item, what good is he going to do with it?¡± A voice said. ¡°No. You can''t have it,¡± Nikko replied sternly. ¡°Okay, okay, relax.¡± ¡°What about you?¡± A new voice asked, ¡°Are you going to stay with these chumps?¡± Nikko was silent. ¡°You know if anyone survives this thing it will be us. This worldain''t much different than the one we lived in before...¡± ¡°No,¡± I said from the floor. I tried to lift my head up, but the effort put too much pressure on my lungs as my stomach muscles activated. The second voice pointed a finger down at me. ¡°This is your people now? C¡¯mon,¡± it said, ¡°Come back with me. It will be just like the old times. ¡± A pause. "You remember George?" *** Nikko has betrayed the party and joined the Crypts. Upgrade your base to attract more members! ¡°No!¡± I screamed, sitting up in reflex. It was still dark. Goldrin was by my feet, licking the last wound that riddled my body. ¡°Heal her!¡± I said, pointing to Lorelai¡¯s limp body. I stood up, letting my eyes adapt to the world. My body was stiff but functional. The last wound on my leg called out for attention as I walked to the back room. I checked inside and discovered Nikko wasn¡¯t inside. I stood there in his doorway, trying to overcome Death¡¯s mental fog. We almost died fighting an Avalanche. Nikko healed us until he couldn¡¯t anymore, then got help. That help put something on Goldrin, I thought, turning around and seeing that my companion now sported a black collar. Then he left us? Lorelai groaned and rolled to her stomach. I limped over to her side and let myself fall heavily to the ground. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I asked. ¡°It hurts,¡± she cried. ¡°Fight through it,¡± I said, wincing, ¡°It will be over soon.¡± Goldrin was doing his best to heal her - the concern in his eyes told me so. I gave him a gentle pat then focused all my attention on his collar. Necklace of Healing - Restores 10 health points every minute. I unhooked the collar from his neck and draped it around Lorelai¡¯s. The skin on her neck was porcelain, covered in tiny pale hairs. The leathery material elongated in my hands, then grew softer until it resembled more cloth than hide. I hooked the fastener and let out a sigh. After a very uncomfortable fit of despair; Lorelai¡¯s tears dried up, leaving nothing but hate and hunger. ¡°He abandoned us the first chance he got,¡± she vented through mouthfuls of beef and cream cheese, ¡°I don¡¯t know why I am surprised.¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t his first chance,¡± I argued. ¡°Do not defend him,¡± she said, glaring at me. I shrugged, ¡°I am just stating the facts. He could have abandoned us many times already.¡± ¡°He did abandon you already!¡± ¡°Yea, well, do you blame him. I was a little-¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what you were. He still abandoned us.¡± ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I deflected, realizing I was just feeding her anger, ¡°so what are we going to do about it?¡± She chewed her food with vigor as she stared at me. I could see something raging just behind her eyes. It was a battle of domestic calculation and primitive revenge. Behind her eyes were a million thoughts, a million plans. I had a feeling that none of them would be rational. ¡°Kill him,¡± she said. I laughed, ¡°No. We can¡¯t kill Nikko. Even if we could kill him, we shouldn¡¯t. We don¡¯t even know why he left. Besides, he would have dragged us outside of the shield if he wanted us dead.¡± My reply fell on deaf ears, but her look said enough. It said, I will kill you too if you get in my way. I had no idea what would drive a woman so crazy. Really, I had no experience in that arena. But I was smart enough to know when I should let someone cool down. So that was what I did. After ten or so minutes of gathering up any supplies in the parlor that I could use as potential traps, I went outside and started making them. The occasional abandoned car made it easy for me to keep them relatively concealed. As I put the finishing duct tape on a particularly promising trap, consisting of; a silver tray filled with glue, a bag of fertilizer, and flower seeds, the rainbow colored words intruded into my work once again. The Thrift Store Gang has defeated the Can it Not Say Gang? Gang and chosen the Legendary Reward = A Traveling Merchant! I focused on the reward. Traveling Merchant = A merchant will find you, wherever you are, every few days with useful and rare items to trade. Do not abuse your merchant!Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. As I swiped the notification away with a wave of my hand, another one replaced it. Home Base Level Up! Your turf is growing! ¡°What?¡± I asked the night air. ¡°What the hell!¡± it replied. I turned around sharply, realizing that it was Lorelai who spoke for the night. The doorbell jingled as she exited the Parlor. The blue glow of our shield followed her as she stepped closer to me. As she got within spitting distance, her presumably worried and angry words were interrupted by the shield. It grew into and over her. Over me, even. We watched in awe as it expanded. ¡°Oh,¡± Lorelai said, before doing an about face and heading back inside. No doubt to continue plotting her revenge. Meanwhile, I was beginning to form a plan of my own. Nikko is gone, so now we are much weaker as a team. We can recruit new members now though. So how do we do that? Build up our base? I thought, looking around to the portion of street and new buildings that were now inside my domain. I racked my brain for things that would attract survivors to my party. Safety was the obvious choice, but I didn¡¯t want just any survivor. I needed fighters, and strong ones, if I was going to take down Ragnarok. ¡°Safety and a way out,¡± I told Goldrin, ¡°We need to provide safety and a way out. If we can get people to believe we know how to stop all this, they will fight.¡± Goldrin barked his agreement, then took a wiz on my nearest trap. This one had cans of spray paint taped together with another combination of screwdrivers and matchsticks attached. ¡°Careful,¡° I warned before running to the parlor door, ¡°you don¡¯t want to burn your willy off!¡± ¡°Lor,¡± I started as the door sung behind me, ¡°let¡¯s go back to Tele-Pizza.¡± I sat in a chair across from her and matched her virulent gaze. ¡°Barbara will probably go back there to build up her base. She didn¡¯t seem like the type that likes to wander.¡± ¡°And kill her?¡± Lorelai asked, unmoving of body and facial expression. ¡°We will offer for her to join us,¡± I replied. ¡°She will be upset that we tried to kill her, sure. But she is smart. We will have the upper hand and she will see that.¡± I broke eye contact for a moment. ¡°She will probably try to betray us the first chance she gets, but we will be vigilant. If we have to kill her we will, but we need more people, desperately.¡± Lorelai nodded and stood. Then she walked out the door. ¡°C¡¯mon Goldrin!¡± I commanded as I followed after her. It took us ten minutes to walk down the road to Tele-Pizza, mostly because a handful of Scroungers wanted to check out my Katana. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, patting my head just outside the pizza shop. ¡°What?¡± Lorelai asked. ¡°My Fedora. It''s gone.¡± She removed her hand from the doorknob, ¡°Did you leave it in the parlor?¡± ¡°No¡­¡± memories of my near-death experience came flashing back to me, ¡°I think Nikko took it.¡± She sighed in anger, then turned the door nob. Water rushed out and over our shoes. We waded through it and realized that Barabara was indeed back inside her home base. She was on top of the marble island in the center of the room, covered in flour and tears. ¡°Come to finish me off,¡± she whimpered, not even bothering to uncurl her body from the fetal position. ¡°Ye-¡± Lorelai managed to say before I could put a finger to her lips. She gave me a dirty look, but surprisingly, didn¡¯t bat my hand away. ¡°Hi Barbara,¡± I said, with a deep bow. She sat up, an intrigued expression on her face. When I requested a meeting with her in her office, she managed to pull herself together. Wiping the white powder from her athletic wear, she hopped off the countertop. A small splash was heard, along with a slight whimper, and then she walked to her office in the freezer. I followed. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Lorelai whispered into my ear as her tiny hands grasped my, uhh... Tricep. ¡°Trust me,¡± I whispered back with a wink. Her grip loosened, but the feeling of her touch remained for a few decades longer. Barbara sat down in her chair behind the wooden desk adorned with pizza-related figurines and transformed into the ice-queen I knew she could be. She was wearing a heavy coating make-up, which I thought was weird because she dressed like she was going to the gym. But honestly, I had never seen the inside of a gym, so I wasn¡¯t one to judge. Maybe they all wore makeup in there to accent their muscles, who knew? Her eyeliner trailed down her face from old tears, but otherwise, she was a mask of perfect put-togetherness. In fact, she was rather attractive. ¡°Excuse me,¡± I said, leaning forward, ¡°you have something¡­¡± I reached a hand forward and wiped the stray eyeliner from her cheek, ¡°Ah, there it is.¡± Barbara¡¯s eyes darted around as I touched her, but she didn¡¯t flinch away. I even earned myself a solid thank you. ¡°So,¡± I began, settling into my chair. It was more comfortable than I remembered. ¡°I think we got off on the wrong foot, and I would just like to apologize. We are learning more and more every moment that we survive in this new world, and I think attacking each other was a little short-sighted.¡± She nodded. ¡°I hope that my pet here didn¡¯t harm anyone close to you?¡± ¡°No,¡± Barbara replied, ¡°They were just the people making my pizza. I haven¡¯t seen my daughter since you attacked though. Have you?¡± ¡°The spear thrower?¡± Lorelai said, her back turned to us as she perused the frozen meats and sauces in the freezer. ¡°Yes.¡± I shook my head, ¡°No, we haven¡¯t seen her. I can say with certainty that we didn¡¯t harm her though.¡± The ice queen let out a breath that carried a mountain of lead along with it. ¡°We can help you find her though, if¡­ you help us.¡± Her strong expression finally broke, and I got to see how she felt on the inside once again, but only for a moment. It was clear she was scared. But I knew she would agree to my proposal because she was an intelligent woman who understood power dynamics. I did a great job with those two power moves when I touched her face and mentioned my lovable dog of death. I had her all figured out and drinking from the palm of my sweaty hands. ¡°Fuck you,¡± she said. ¡°Wait, what?¡± I blanched. Charisma Check Failed. The green inside Barabara¡¯s eyes began to whirl around her iris¡¯. The colored darkened as it slowly moved in mesmerizing circles before brightening to a gleaming blue. Negative Peer Pressure Check - Failed. You are frozen. Oh shit, I thought as I failed to pat my head and check for my Fedora. Barbara leaped over the desk, knocking a small figurine of a short man holding two pizzas on a stick. It clattered to the floor as she straddled my lap and unleashed a primal rage. I felt every single one of her many frustrations, conveniently delivered directly to my face with her fists. Her hands opened when she realized my face was as hard as ice, but luckily Lorelai pulled her off me before she could chisel my eyes out. ¡°Don¡¯t kill her!¡± I said as my body began to thaw from the top down. Lorelai realized that, glared at me, then pulled the Ice Queen through a hole in the back wall by her hair. Before my legs could thaw, I heard the sizzle of her Power Punch ability and a soft thud, followed by a notification that a member of the Pizza Parlor gang had been slain. ¡°What the hell!¡± I yelled, finally able to stand. Lorelai climbed back through the hole in the wall and echoed my words, ¡°What the hell!¡± She said it while pointing to somewhere below my stomach. Now is a great time to mention that all those minutes invested into improving my physique had been paying off. My stomach was shrinking, and I was finally able to see something that I hadn¡¯t been able to in a long, long time, at least, not without a mirror. That was probably why my smile stretched from ear to ear in a moment that would have been otherwise largely embarrassing for me. ¡°Seriously,¡± she said in awe, ¡°just because she straddled you? She was attacking you for Christ¡¯s sake!¡± Lorelai rattled on for another minute or so, but I was too proud of myself to listen in. Then, a scream echoed into the freezer from somewhere outside the hole in the back wall. I traded a quick glance to my damage dealer and ran out of the Pizza Parlor, pants not quite fitting. I was greeted by the clammy, yet cool night air, as well as more than a few, crude, yet sharp, throwing spears. I dodged the majority of them, but Barbara¡¯s daughter showed no signs of running out anytime soon. I activated my Bait ability before the timer on my Matrix ability expired. Luckily, I was allowed to use two abilities concurrently and for the first time ever, I welcomed the disagreeable feeling of my pores stretching to release the yellow pheromone. Surrounded by Scroungers, the Spear Maiden¡¯s attacks were no longer able to reach me. I stalked toward her, knocking down any Scroungers that looked like they were capable of dealing more damage than a spear sticking into my body would. Then an orange glow of light streaked over my head and landed near Barbara¡¯s daughter. Her ranged attacks were no use for Lorelai¡¯s melee abilities, and I got there just in time to see my damage dealer use a new skill. It was a whirl of lights and combination punches that left our enemy in a rag doll state. But before she could collapse to the ground, Lorelai¡¯s footwork allowed her to get into such a position where she could punch the doll upright again. For the briefest of moments, the Spear Maiden¡¯s body seemed to be standing of its own accord, even though I could tell by the rolling of her head that she wasn¡¯t exactly present. Lorelai¡¯s entire body pulsed with orange and red electricity, then she spun and kicked the rag doll, expelling all her built up power. The body of the Spear Maiden disintegrated into ash and floated away. The Tattoo Parlor Gang has defeated the Pizza Place Gang! Please return to your home base to choose an award. Chapter 15 Hundreds of tiny red scales covered the hands of the creature before me. More were visible on its face. Everything else was covered in a form-fitting and all black outfit, complete with a hood and numerous military pockets. I studied the hand that the creature extended to me. It was a human hand, attached to a human body, just covered in tiny red¡­ ¡°Scales,¡± I said out loud, the words practically falling out of my mouth. The creature dropped his hand. Then he fell back into his three similarly dressed companions. ¡°I swore that was how Earthlings greeted one another!¡± he chuckled smoothly, ¡°Wasn¡¯t it in the handbook?¡± The creatures giggled in return. It was a sound guaranteed to haunt me for the rest of my life. ¡°You have scales?¡± someone repeated. By the time I realized it was me it was too late to take the question back. ¡°Yea,¡± the creature said, red chin held high. ¡°They allow me to take a vacation to Mars once a year. What do your scales do?¡± ¡°Nothing, I guess¡­ Are you my Squad of Demon Guards?¡± I asked, my chest fully puffed. ¡°Yea¡­¡± the demon puffed up his chest as well. Then he stepped forward and away from his friends ¡°That¡¯s us. We¡¯re definitely demons.¡± Lorelai raised an eyebrow, but I knew better than to assume a demon was up to no good. That would be racial profiling. ¡°Great. My name is Milton, and this is Lorelai, it¡¯s nice to meet you.¡± I held out a hand. He gave a cautionary glance to the others then took it. ¡°Cool¡­¡± he started, ¡°nice to meet you too. This is¡­¡± he pointed to the leftmost demon. ¡°Demon. And this is Demon. And this is also Demon. I,¡± he curled a crimson finger to his chest, ¡°am Lead Demon.¡± I looked at his friends, unsure of how to proceed. Do you shake the hands of people who don¡¯t have unique names? Is it a military thing? ¡°There¡¯s only four of you. Didn¡¯t the rainbow letters say that there would be five?¡± Lead Demon tisked sadly, ¡°No, unfortunately, we just lost a¡­¡± Another portal, just the like one from moments before, ripped open the night sky. It ejected one last demon before closing with a terrifying snap. The new Demon landed right in front of me with a thud and a cloud of dust mixed with plastic bags. Holy shit, I thought, looking at the new demon¡¯s boots. They were black and made from a plastic composite you could tell wouldn¡¯t deteriorate, even if you left it in the elements for a million years. A pool of blood coalesced under them. It seemed to push and tug at the boots as if they were the sole reason that it couldn¡¯t flow away. A giant hand interrupted my gaze. ¡°Hello Human, I am Leader Demon.¡± I looked up to the beast that stood on the body of the previous Leader Demon. It wore the same black urban-ops outfit as the rest, except parts of his uniform were ripped. I could see it was mostly due to his massive muscles that undulated underneath, but it was clear the demon also saw some action recently. The new Leader Demon breathed heavily, the fabric of his chest making a slight zipper noise as it continued to tear with every inhale. Now knowing that it was considered rude not to shake a demon''s hand when given a chance, I immediately grabbed his. His scales were hard, making his grip feel like metal that encased my entire hand. ¡°I am, uh. This is Lorelai, and I¡¯m Milton,¡± I looked around, ¡°Where did the other, um¡­¡± Leader Demon saluted, then yelled, ¡°Leader Demon ready to receive orders, sir!¡± The other demons snapped upright as he spoke. I fucking saluted him back... It felt great. ¡°Your mission is to keep Lorelai and I alive. Please patrol the area immediately and alert me of the best locations to place lethal traps.¡± We saluted again, and then the demon version of my old buddy Franco visibly relaxed. He reached out to shake my hand once again. Man, these guys are great. Leader Demon about faced and the other demons saluted him. I joined Lorelai a few paces back and watched the real-life demons in awe. Leader Demon didn¡¯t return his subordinates salutes. Instead, he stared daggers into each of them in turn. Eventually, he crouched down and grasped at the pool of blood below him. The blood raised like mercury as he stood, one end dripping from his hand and the other trickling upward, against gravity. ¡°ABOUT,¡± Leader Demon began, ¡°FACE!¡± The three minor demons turned around; then the bodybuilding demon twirled the blood in his hand. It whipped to the side, a trail of the red liquid following it. As the trail impacted the nearest abandoned car - which resulted in a loud bang and a dent - it erupted in flame. Then Leader Demon began to deal out reprimands to the back of his subordinates. ¡°Let¡¯s go wait inside,¡± Lorelai prompted. ¡°Yea,¡± I agreed, knowing full well I didn¡¯t have a high enough constitution to watch near-humans be tortured. The doorbell jingled behind us, and I was assaulted with the feeling that I had misplaced something. My chest tightened. ¡°Pommy!¡± I yelled as I did an about-face of my own and ripped open the door before its final bell. I could see Goldrin¡¯s back just ahead. He was sitting between the spread legs of leader demon as he worked his flaming blood whip. ¡°Goldrin,¡± I whispered, not wanting to interrupt a culturally significant demon ritual. My companion couldn¡¯t hear me. ¡°Goldriiin,¡± I said a bit louder. His ears twitch and faced my direction. ¡°Hey,¡± I said, leaning forward, ¡°I know you heard me. Let¡¯s go.¡± My companion whimpered but reluctantly joined me inside. As the door closed behind us, I got an excellent idea to remove the annoying bell attached to it. As I did so, a folded piece of parchment paper fluttered inside. It gleamed a soft blue, so I picked it up and read it. Hey dude. Hope this Demon Squad helps you get to me faster. Peace & Love, Raggy ¡°Ragnaros,¡± I seethed. ¡°What?¡± Lorelai asked, a bit concerned. I handed her the note. ¡°Why did he say dude?¡± she asked. I shrugged. ¡°No. Like why didn¡¯t he say dudette? He was talking to you, specifically.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°And why does he want us to find him?¡± ¡°Maybe he is bored?¡± I offered. She rejected, ¡°Not likely. He is busy orchestrating the Apocalypse and the rainbow letters, remember?¡± Suddenly, Leader Demon twisted and ducked through the door. Without a word, he tossed his once flaming, blood-whip to my feet. It pooled onto the floor and began to boil, eventually bubbling up to my height. The snarky demon from earlier solidified into existence before me, absent of clothing. A red scaled hand was offered. I took it, then returned the salute that followed. ¡°You have my deepest apologies for upsetting your chain of command,¡° the demon reported, ¡°It will never happen again, sir!¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said with a final nod, ¡°I hope you learned your lesson.¡± The demon turned on one heel and caught a pile of black clothes tossed by his commander. I turned around and grabbed some food. The door slammed behind the two demons a few moments later. ¡°Did you see it?¡± Lorelai asked, getting up real close to my side. My head immediately turned. Her eyes were wild. ¡°See what?¡± I asked, regretting the words even before they left my mouth. Then I did my best to block out everything she said for the next few minutes. *** A few hours later, a nightmare involving Leader Demon acquiring a new companion that looked suspiciously like Goldrin caused me to wake. I sat up from the floor. Lorelai was still on Nikko¡¯s old bed, snoring away. We decided it was best to sleep in the same room because of the strange creatures patrolling our turf. I suggested that it was probably smart to do so all the time, then she punched me and said, ¡°No. Just until we are certain we can trust them.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure why she thought sleeping in separate rooms was safer, but I didn¡¯t push it. I saw Goldrin by my feet, so I pet him. Whispers drifted under the door with the ghetto, ¡®Employees Only¡¯ sign on it. ¡°C¡¯mon man,¡± the snarky demon said, ¡°If we all team up together we can take him out.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± a new voice replied. It was deep, yet unsure of itself.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°We can do fine out there on our own. We don¡¯t even need a leader. Especially one as dumb as a spike sponge. We can try that democracy thing we read about in the Handbook for Humans.¡± ¡°Hey, hey, you need to quiet down.¡± The voices died, and I eventually fell back asleep, one hand draped over Goldrin. When I woke up next - a breath of relief escaped me as I realized me companion was still by my side. I crept out of Nikko¡¯s abandoned room and into the main Parlor. ¡°What the¡­¡± I whispered as my eyes fell upon something I had never seen before. Black tree bark jutted from the ground, forming a thick pillar that came up to my waist. The top of it was caved in, forming a bowl of sorts. Blood filled it. As I peeked my head over to get a better look, a white eyeball rolled to the surface. ¡°Ah!¡± I screamed, stumbling back and into a chair. The blood began to boil and form the shape of a human. ¡°It¡¯s rude to stare at people when they sleep ya know!¡± Snarky Demon complained, his upper body solidifying just enough to rise from the bowl. ¡°Uh, I know. I didn¡¯t mean to stare,¡± I replied in wonder, ¡°I just never seen a demon sleep before.¡± ¡°Well, now you have,¡± Snarky Demon said. Before I could ask how he was able to transform like that, his body melted away and dripped back into the bowl. Life is getting real weird lately. I pulled out my exercise equipment and began to clear my mind and wake up my body. I noticed another Demon sleeping pillar at the far end of the room by the door. It was much larger than the other, so I assumed it belonged to Leader Demon. He must have set up a guard rotation. Smart. He even put himself on the same shift as Snarky Demon. Thirty minutes into my workout, I was hyped enough to try my hands at the most challenging exercise known to man. I got down on all fours, then straightened my legs. My arms jiggled under pressure, but for once I could feel the power hidden deep inside them. I bent my elbows and descended as slowly as I could. Two quick breathes, then I pushed. ¡°Gggggghhhhaaaaa YESSS!¡± I screamed triumphantly. My body was alive and strong. My mind my was as high as the clouds above the Parlor. Nothing could stop me, not even my newfound peers of the pushup: Bruce Lee, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, and the others. The sky was- ¡°Hey asshole!¡± Lorelai shouted, ¡°What in the world are you doing?¡± ¡°I just did a pushup!¡± I grinned. ¡°So?¡± ¡°What do you mean, so?¡± ¡°I mean, everyone can do a pushup.¡± Snarky Demon woke up just long enough to say, ¡°It¡¯s true.¡± ¡°What,¡± I deflected, ¡°No they can¡¯t. Only the most physically gifted such as myself can do it. It¡¯s reserved for the greats so ya''ll normies don''t hurt yourselves.¡± ¡°How''s this for a ''normie,''¡± she said plainly, before dropping to the floor and blowing my mind. My jaw hung slack as I counted more than thirty push ups. When Lorelai was finished, she dusted her hands off and went back to bed. What a legend. My insanely strong damage dealer came out of the back room about an hour later, holding a map in her hands. ¡°Look at this,¡± she said. It was a map of the neighborhood. A couple blocks over from our location, she circled an area in red ink. I had trouble imagining how someone so strong was able to wield a pen with such accuracy. ¡°A river?¡± I asked. ¡°Yea,¡± she sniffed me, ¡°You need to take a bath. I could smell you from the other room.¡± I pinched my graphic tee and billowed air inside, ¡°Yea, a bath would be nice. But is it worth it risking our lives?¡± ¡°Can you smell yourself?¡± she asked. I gave her the same look she usually gave me. ¡°Okay. It¡¯s probably not worth it, but I can¡¯t stay cooped up in here anymore. I was always kept inside when I was a kid and in college, I was too busy to travel, not that my parents would have let me, anyway¡± she looked me in the eyes, ¡°I can¡¯t just sit in here and play house with you all day. It''ll kill me.¡± ¡°Yea, okay, I get it. We need to find more drinking water and see what these demons can do anyway.¡± ¡°Here,¡± she said, removing her necklace. ¡°If I get into trouble, I can jump away. It''s smarter for you, or even Goldrin, to have this.¡± I took the necklace from her hand and clasped it around my companion''s neck. "Love you," I whispered to Goldrin as he waddled off. *** We walked out of the Parlor¡¯s blue shield and down the road, surrounded by our Demon Guards. I found myself staring at them as we walked and had to force myself to pay attention to my surroundings more than once. ¡°How do you kill things?¡± Lorelai asked Lead Demon, a greasy paper bag crunching under her feet as she walked. Eventually, it dislodged itself. I picked it up and dropped it in the next wastebin. ¡°We shoot things,¡± Lead Demon replied. ¡°Do guns work in this world?¡± I followed up. Snarky demon chuckled, but a quick look from Lead Demon shut him up. ¡°Lead Demon does not know,¡± he answered after glaring at his subordinate, ¡°We use spikes. I think they are different than your guns, but I can''t be certain.¡± Then he stopped the formation and barked an order in a gutteral language to Demon Two. The crimson creature spread his stance wide, then patted his hands on each of his legs. His arms raised and something black slowly protruded from his palms. ¡°Demon Two, fire at will.¡± The black substance exploded from his hands with a hollow thunk. It was long and sharp and made from the same bark as the Demon sleeping pillars. It was clearly a material indigenous only to their people, and I had no desire to find out what it felt like. The two spikes closed the distance between the formation and the nearest Scrounger in an instant. A senior woman, who had been pulling weeds in the small patch of woods off to our right, yelped as the two spikes entered her eye sockets. Then she fell backward. I got a notification that an ally of mine defeated a Scrounger and I was awarded a small number of experience points. "Are you''re guns that like?" Leader Demon followed up. I shook my head. ¡°Do you ever run out of ammo?¡± asked Lorelai. ¡°No,¡± Lead Demon answered after starting the formation again, ¡°not here at least.¡± ¡°So,¡± I started, ¡°what¡¯s it like where you come from?¡± A scream pierced the night air before I could get my answer. It was following by another splattering of rainbow letters. This time they alerted us that the Crypts have declared war on another gang. Our demon guards stopped and formed a solid line between us and the noise. Up ahead was a four-way intersection. An empty river canal replaced the small forest to our right, and if we turned that direction at the intersection, we would have to cross over a bridge to investigate the source of the scream. I looked up and to the left. ¡°Let¡¯s get on top of one of these buildings,¡± I commanded, ¡°quickly.¡± As I started in the direction of the safer position, I felt my feet lift off the ground. ¡°Why?¡± I asked, indignant. ¡°You said quickly, and you are slow,¡± Lead Demon said as he carried me into the building. No argument there, I thought, secretly relishing the feeling of being carried like a child for the first time. Lorelai wasn¡¯t as polite though. She squirmed and punched at Demon Three until he released her. Then her shoes sparked with color, and she rocketed into the air. My noble stead carried me up the building''s stairs, quite impressively, and set me down on the roof of the brick building. I saw a wild look in Lorelai¡¯s eyes; then her shoes lit up again. She disappeared into the night air. I yelled after her, figuring she was under the effects of some curse. She didn¡¯t reply. ¡°Go after her,¡± I commanded as the lights of her shoes hopped from building to building on the skyline behind me. Lead Demon saluted, then pointed to Demon Two. Before he could open the metal door to the bulkhead, Lorelai came back. She landed on the edge of the building, water streaming from her eyes and her hair just as tousled as the deranged expression on her face. ¡°Yahoooooooooo!¡± She howled into the night. I tackled her. ¡°What the fuck are you doing?¡± I asked on top of her. The smile on her face died as she struggled to breath. I shifted some of my weight but kept enough to leave her pinned. She smiled, ¡°Milton. I am finally free.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t be free if you''re dead,¡± I chastised. She shook her head, ¡°You¡¯re like me, Milton. Trapped.¡± She did her best to push me off. I let her sit up. ¡°It took the Apocalypse for me to realize that I could just up and follow my dreams. The only things that held me back are the things that I let hold me back,¡± she looked at me, then to her shoes, ¡°I admit I shouldn¡¯t have-¡± ¡°You¡¯re damn you shouldn¡¯t have. You could have gotten us killed. After everything we''ve been through you can''t lose your shit on me now.¡± I said, staring a hole into Lorelai¡¯s face. A shadow passed over it. I looked up just in time to see a volley of dark spikes shoot into the sky. ¡°Fuck, Lor. Something followed you.¡± ¡°Get back inside, now!¡± Lead Demon bellowed. I swung open the metal door and tossed Lorelai inside by the wrist. Above us, giant eagles soared. They left a trail of deep purple as they cut circles into the sky. Then one of them spotted me and dove. I managed to look it in the eye before turning, but something stopped me before I could get to safety. Memories flooded my mind and somewhere behind them, the noise of a shovel digging into the Earth. ¡°Gram,¡± I whispered. She was cooking me breakfast before I went off to school. I was eleven, utterly obsessed with the smell of bacon that filled the air and terrified of changing in the locker room at the gymnasium. Grandma taught me how to drape a towel over my body as I changed so no one could see it. I appreciated her advice, mostly because it was practical. Anyone else would have told me not to worry about what I looked like, and I would have ignorantly skipped off to school, only to change my clothes and get assaulted with the vilest of insults. ¡°Holy shit, is that an overweight whale?¡± someone always said. ¡°Milton, what is that crusty looking stuff between your fat rolls?¡± ¡°Milton, if you''re going to fat you could at least be smart!¡± ¡°Milton, you''re a fucking waste of space.¡± Young children were the evilest of villains. But I had a savior, my Grandma. She always made things right when I came home crying, clothes torn from either the other kids or from when I rushed to fit the t-shirt over my head as they made gagging noises. She was my savior, and I killed her. Buried her in the backyard without a second thought, just because I wanted to be a hero. ¡°I¡¯m not a hero,¡± I muttered. In fact, I was the complete opposite. I wasn¡¯t even a good person. Sure, I didn¡¯t like to litter, but even that was a shallow ploy to make people think I was worth a breath or two. Negative Peer Pressure Check - Failed. Pfft. Failure. What else is new? I thought. My body came alive with pain, but it did nothing to fill the emptiness inside me. Darkness grew over me like a weighted blanket. I grabbed at the edge of it and pulled it over the rest of my body. I can¡¯t say exactly how long I was there for, but I was sure it wasn¡¯t long enough. I would have stayed there, stuck in limbo, until I died, if Pommy didn¡¯t whimper somewhere out of reach. ¡°Goldrin,¡± I said, clawing my way out of the depression. Memories of my childhood Dungeon and Dragons party, the Battle Furious Fiends, came back to me. My BFFs were the only people that ever gave me hope I could be loved by someone other than my Gram. Did she even love me? More like she was stuck with me when Mom died. A brief warmth filled my stomach as I was allowed to look on their innocent faces once again. I wanted nothing more than to roll a set of new characters and begin an adventure with them, but as I reached for the 20-sided die, it was replaced with my Grandmother¡¯s hand. She held it there, outside her house, as I watched our warrior drive away in a moving truck. That was the last time I played a campaign with the BFFs, and it was the last time I was foolish enough to believe in the notion of being accepted. ¡°Bork!¡± ¡°Pom,¡± I whispered, probing the air for anything physical. I couldn¡¯t deal with the memories anymore. ¡°I¡¯m coming Pommy.¡± I stood up, my vision blurry. My companion barked from behind something, but I couldn¡¯t find what it was. My vision flickered, and the sound of burying my Grandma threatened to flatten me again, but I resisted. Pommy was always there for me, just like Gram was. Now it was time for me to be there for him. Chapter 16 I stumbled outside the building and spilled into the street, rage racking my body. The Depression Eagles circled high above the bridge in front of me. A dozen Scroungers lingered a few cars back the way we came but made no signs of attacking. My squad of demon guards was nowhere to be found, nor was Lorelai. I swung my backpack to the ground and began pulling out materials for a trap; a heavy spring, dozens of cans of spray paint, and a thick PVC pipe from the hardware store. I yanked it all together, just as a yelp reached my ears. It came from the empty ravine below the bridge. Sprinting over to the guardrail, I peered over. There was a man, dressed in a military uniform and camo face paint that came down to his beard. Human-sized cages surrounded him, along with three empty barrels. Fires burned within them, but the homeless people that once used them for warmth were all dead, viciously slaughtered, chopped into large chunks, and scattered. The man picked up a chunk of pure gore then pushed it through a grinder attached the end of a long table. A sausage came out the other end. He tied the sausage to a few others until he had a long chain, then he swung it over the metal scaffolding that supported the bridge. Handcuffs jingled on each of his wrists as he worked. My stomach emptied, then I finally caught sight of Goldrin. A rope tethered his neck to one of the table¡¯s legs. ¡°Do it, boy,¡± I whispered. Goldrin caught a whiff of something strong in the air, then looked my way. I could see the worry in his eyes, but his expression hardened as his eyes met mine. ¡°BORK!¡± he yelled. ¡°BORK!¡± ¡°Hey, keep it down you mut,¡± the man shouted. Goldrin growled and shed his hair. He grew larger and larger until his tether snapped. ¡°Hey Asshole!¡± the man yelled, ¡°You got hair in my breakfast. Polish sausage is my favorite, and you ruined it!¡± then he smacked Monster Goldrin with the back of his hand. My companion skittered across the cement ground like all his extra mass consisted of helium, instead of dense muscle. The man stalked forward, a reckless abandonment behind his eyes. His large hands wrapped around Goldrin¡¯s throat and he hefted my protector off his skinless legs. ¡°N-¡± I started to yell as I stood, but something ran into me from behind. It bounced off my bulk and skittered to the ground. Strength Check Passed - you have resisted a tackle from Nikko. ¡°That¡¯s Ragnaros, you idiot,¡± Nikko said from the road. I loomed over him and spotted my fedora in his hands. ¡°What are you doing here? GO home!¡± he pleaded. ¡°Fuck you Nikko,¡± I said as I hopped the guardrail. ¡°DROP HIM NOW!¡± I ordered Raggy. The man moved his arm to the right slightly, just enough to see past the choking monstrosity in his hands and look at me. ¡°Heyyy Milton! You finally made it. Good job Sport!¡± he said with a hoarse voice. Then with a simple flick of his wrist, he snapped Goldrin¡¯s neck. The sound of my companion¡¯s life being snuffed out hit me like a hijacked plane to the stomach. No. I fell to my knees as Raggy tossed Goldrin to the side like a finished apple. By the time he hit the ground, he was back to his old self, grey and small and everything that I needed in this world and the one before it. Fury flashed up my back like fire. This time I wasn¡¯t going to ignore it. Instead, I fed it with thoughts of my Grandma and of Nikko¡¯s betrayal. I stood.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. Willpower Check Passed. Raggy smiled and swirled his finger in the air. The Depression Eagles above him dove as one with a single, penetrating screech. I stood stalwart, meeting Raggy¡¯s gaze much in the same way as all the bullies before him. Except for this time, I had no illusions over what I was doing. Raggy wasn¡¯t going to be unnerved by my stare and walk away with a laugh to his friends. And I was okay with that. I looked up. The Eagles had a wingspan longer than they had any right to. They cut through the air as they descended upon me from all angles. There must have been twenty of them, twisting downward like a backward tornado against the grey cloud sky. I heard a hollow thunk noise up on the road to my left. And another. My muscles twitched in anticipation and more rage than I thought any human body could contain. I could almost feel it bubble inside me and press against the inside of my skin. The feeling was so strong that it almost became physical, lashing out of my body like angry flames. Then, the first can of spray paint exploded like a firework above me. It painted the backward tornado and the Eagles inside it with a bright blue splash of color. Eagles screeched in pain as the fell prey to my trap. Raggy looked up, and this time I didn¡¯t need my Katana to pull me into action. I shot forward, my weapon trailing behind me. I ran faster than I ever had before, faster than I ever saw anyone run, closing the distance between me and the man that killed my companion before he could even figure out how I stopped his minions. To this day, I still had no memory of what happened in the few moments after I tackled Raggy to the ground. It was like being born. You know it happened because you are alive, but your memories of the day are a compilation of pictures and stories told by your parents. Lorelei would later recount that I turned into a monster. I think it is worth saying that I didn¡¯t turn into a monster as my late companion could. It was more like there was always a monster hidden away inside me. I think that I didn¡¯t remember because it was the monster¡¯s memory and not mine. I came to, straddling Raggy. My legs were wrapped around his torso as I sat on him. They were so cramped that I don¡¯t think I could have gotten off if I wanted to. The man below me was laughing, his smile covered in blood that soaked into and matted his beard. ¡°More!¡± Raggy cried, ¡°Get it all out! I know you are still angry inside!¡± I furrowed my brow at his words. My hands were so thoroughly covered in blood that for a second, I thought they were someone else''s. A demon¡¯s hands maybe, but not mine. Guilt gurgled in my stomach. Raggy finally stopped laughing, then he whispered, ¡°Are you done?¡± His voice was ice shoved down the back of my shirt. I stared down at him, confused and conflicted, for what seemed like an eternity. He looked different than the image I carried of him in my mind. A rustling from the road caught my attention. I turned to see Lorelai¡¯s wide eyes; then a freight train hit me in the chest. My limbs shot forward as the central portion of my weight soared back through the air just feet above the concrete. A damage notification let me know that the wet smacking sound I heard when I hit the ground was my skull cracking. ¡°Demons! Fire at will!¡± A voice boomed from the bridge. I heard the whistle of black spikes rip through the air. ¡°Oh,¡± Raggy said in surprise. The distinct sound of a gun being loaded could be heard. ¡°Are we doing this?¡± his voice was further away now. ¡°Milton!¡± he called out from behind something. A spray of bullets was fired, causing my ears to ring. When they stopped, a metallic clicking of a changed magazine took their place, then he spoke again, ¡°I am going to kill these fuckers, but I still want you to come back and visit when you can. No pressure. Come anytime.¡± Lorelai¡¯s shoes buzzed into power. I summoned all my strength to sit up. My fingers prodded the trinket around my neck as I pleaded it to heal me faster. My head ached as warm syrup left it and dribbled down my back in thick globs. I was awake just long enough to watch Raggy snatch Lorelai from the air. She thrashed around helplessly as Raggy held her upside down by the foot, like a simple doll. Then he sent the foot he was holding through the sausage grinder. Chapter 17 ¡°Why were you attacking him without me?¡± Nikko complained inside the Parlor. I was on the floor of his room between stacks of magazines and cooking utensils, my head aching from the ghosts of a terrible wound. Memories of my bloody demon hands flashed across my vision, and then I remembered everything that had happened. ¡°Hello?¡± Nikko asked. I walked out of the back room to find Lorelai sitting on a chair, her body hidden behind a counter. Nikko was trying to talk to her, but it was as if his words were getting lost in the air between them. Suddenly, she turned to meet my eyes, then she placed her hands on the chair and pushed her body vertical. Her hands traveled from chair to countertop to further down the countertop. When she came free of the obstruction, I saw the bloody stump where one of her legs used to be. We stared at each other for a long while, Nikko barking silently in the background. Without a word, she limped forward. I grabbed her hand then lead her to the bed where she stayed for weeks. The days passed without notice, jumbling together in a gray haze that never went away. Nikko explained his betrayal with earnest detail. He told me how he and his best friend Greg had grown up together. He explained how they fell in love. He explained how Greg was married to a woman and he explained why he was okay with it. Nikko lived a sad life, and Greg was the secret that got him through. Nikko said that after he left the life of crime, he started his own business. He knew he would never be a millionaire, but deep down he counted himself among the blessed. He was just happy he didn''t die young, like the majority of the kids he grew up with. He had done some terrible things, so when he and Greg could only sneak away to see each other every month or so, Nikko wasn¡¯t upset. He said that he wanted Greg to be happy and if that meant being with his wife and only seeing each other in secret, then that was probably more than he deserved. Nikko said that the day he left Lorelai and me, he was looking for more information about Greg¡¯s family. He wanted to know if they were alive and if he could, in some way, help them, as a favor to his best friend and secret lover. He said he wouldn¡¯t have told them about their affair, in fact, he said I was the first person he ever told. But he did say he wanted to protect them because that was what Greg would have wanted. I listened to Nikko¡¯s story, but when I should have been surprised, I wasn¡¯t. When I would I have been disgusted; I wasn¡¯t. I merely took it all in, unsure of where all the information was going and not caring to find out. No part of the story could move me, not even when Nikko described the moments when we killed his secret lover, together, as a party. Greg was the first Scrounger I killed with my Katana in the Parlor. I had slashed at it and stabbed it more times than was necessary. Nikko described the moment when I chopped Greg¡¯s head off, and it fell onto his own. He said that he merely stood up and wiped the gore from his face, spit out the blood, and greeted the world as a zombie. ¡°I am dead inside,¡± he finished. ¡°Me too,¡± I replied, and it was true. I used my days to think about life. Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve it all, but even that didn¡¯t make me feel particularly sorry for myself. There was just nothing left inside me that could be bothered. Even the Demons that survived the battle with Ragnaros had abandoned us. Leader Demon had happily died an honorable death that allowed us to escape Ragnaros, but without his command, Snarky Demon was able to manipulate the others into breaking our contract and leaving this world. I didn¡¯t blame them. I wanted to go too. It wasn¡¯t until Lorelai started refusing the food I offered her that something began to stir inside me. It made me angry that she would give up after everything we had been through. It made me mad that she would give up at all! That anger was allowed to grow and fester inside me until one day I let it loose. I reeled on her with unfair accusations. I yelled and screamed at her crippled body as if her being weak was a reflection of my weakness. When she finally opened up to me, her words broke me almost as much as when I looked for Pommy and remembered, in fresh horror, that he would never be there again. ¡°I was finally free, Milton,¡± she whispered, ¡°I could finally be my own person and fly where I wanted to fly. When I was jumping from building to building before the Eagles came, Milton, that was the happiest I have ever been in my life. Apocalypse or not.¡± Then she pointed down to her missing leg, ¡°and then Ragnaros clipped my wings.¡± The anger I felt toward her melted away and was replaced with guilt. I would have let it consume me, but instead, I found comfort in it. Comfort in being able to feel again. Even guilt and sadness was better than feeling nothing at all. For the first time in my life though, my nights were dreamless. Not even my imagination was lively enough to provide a distraction anymore. I woke up every day and had to re-hear the sound of my companion''s neck snapping. I re-felt the pain of my head smashing open after Ragnaros punched me. I re-listened to Nikko¡¯s pleas for me to go home after he tried to stop it all from happening in the first place. All of it quickly became too much to bear. I stormed out of the Parlor door. No one called after me. The door didn¡¯t jingle. Deadly monsters filled the night, and for that I was grateful. I turned the corner and stalked down my street with reckless determination. My body leaned forward, and I let it pull me into more dangerous territory. I reached the end of my street without even sparing a passing glance at my apartment complex. The road split two ways. On my right were more apartment complexes. On my left, the neighborhood continued with large houses, many of them unknown to me. I could only hope that one of them contained what I was looking for. Stopping only to bloody my blade, I found what I was looking for in what I guessed was an hour. The area I was now in was unfamiliar to me, yet the way the house creaked to my right wasn¡¯t. Then, the sound of a thousand lead balls hitting wood. The roof cracked and split and the house fell in on itself. As the dust from dozens of families that must have lived in the old house at one point or another settled, an Avalanche remained. I inspected him. Avalanche- Level 13 Stolen novel; please report.Max Health Points - 911 Ability One - Lieutenants Shout I charged the skinless abomination as it struggled to untangle itself from the wreckage. One of its legs stepped forward and onto the street just as I reached it. Activating my Knock Down ability, my stomach impacted the leg with a loud grunt. I braced the hilt of my Katana against my stomach and pointed it outward for when the leg inevitable swung back to kick me. It never did. You have dealt a critical hit! Avalanche attempted to put weight on the leg, but I could easily see that his ankle was broken. White bones poked into the polluted air, with no skin to conceal them. The beast growled under his cowl and tugged on his chains. I seized the moment and began to slice and stab his other leg. He batted at me with his free hand, but the attack was slow and easy to see coming. I leveraged my growing strength and agility to dodge them with ease. He tugged at his chains again, and this time they came free. A cacophony of lead balls smashing into wood and pavement mingled with the heavy jingle of metal chain. I took the macabre music as a signal to run away, not wanting to waste my Matrix ability. My legs carried me effortlessly past house after house. When I no longer felt the tingle of eminent pain on my back, I turned. The street was dead quiet, apart from the sound of metal dragging against the road. Multi-family homes surrounded me on each side. Some of the windows were boarded up, but I was relatively sure they were that way before the rainbow letters came. The sky was the same dull gray it had been since the night I buried Grandma, who knows how long ago. The moon could be seen just ahead above the road, marked only by a slightly brighter section of gray. Some of the more lifeless clouds reached to the earth and floated just above the small dirt lawns to my left and right. They didn¡¯t dare float into the street though. That was reserved for me, and the beast that slowly limped after me. I threw my backpack to the ground and began to pull items out of it. A bottle of Gorilla Glue, a packet of Morning Glory seeds, Miracle Grow, and some fertilizer all came together to build my trap. When I was finished, I ran again. When Avalanche finally caught up to my trap, he stopped and titled his cowl towards it. ¡°Oh?¡± I said, intrigued. Avalanche separated a single chain from his giant fist-full. He pulled it free of the rest and dangled it high above the trap, lowering it slowly. When the lead ball at the end came within activation range, the trap sprung. The morning Glory Seeds cracked and grew hungry vines. They reached into the air, growing faster than naturally possible, even with miracle grow, and attached themselves to Avalanche¡¯s hanging probe. They twisted up it, hungry to consume more of the chain. As the vines reached the beast''s bloody hands, he dropped it all. My trap disappeared. An intelligent AND deadly monster. Perfect. You may be thinking that I was facetious in my thoughts, but I wasn¡¯t. That Avalanche was deadly and intelligent, and that suited me perfectly. A thousand small shadows moved across my face. I activated my Matrix ability and my body twisted and rolled to dodge the spiked balls falling around me. I smiled at the beast, but I couldn¡¯t tell if he was smiling back under his cowl. Then I found myself on my back. Avalache had pulled the chains that laid all around me back to him. I rolled over and popped up to my feet. The beast was lining his chains up behind him for another attack. I activated my bait ability and cringed as my pores expanded. A cloud of yellow coated my entire field of vision. I waited inside it, my heart beating loudly in my chest, hoping and wishing that a Scrounger would be the first thing to break into my small yellow world. All of a sudden, my wish came true, and a Scrounger was in my face. It was the only time I could say I was happy to see one of the creatures. I let it take me to the ground and smother me. It clawed and scratched at me, but the pain was lesser than getting hit by spiked lead. I felt more weight land on me and welcomed it with an open embrace. I made sure a Scrounger concealed every single part of me. I let them tear and bite me as I waited for lead balls to fall. The pile of people on me got heavier for a second; then it didn¡¯t move as much. I activated my Knock Down ability, and my portly stomach exploded outward. Scroungers, dead and alive, bounced off me and into the air. Some of them landed all the way on the lawns to my right, and some to my left. I rolled over and stood up. So Avalanche couldn¡¯t trip me again, I dashed free of the chains at my feet and through his legs. A Scrounger approached me. My Katana flashed in the hazy moonlight and the very tip of it slit the things throat, just as it stepped within reach. I turned my attention back to the main threat. It was struggling to turn around with one bum ankle. Now, this was the part I was worried about. One, I had been working out a lot, and could even do a pushup, but I had no idea if I was strong enough to jump onto the beast. And even if I was, I had no idea if I could pull myself up it. Two, the rainbow letters had told me that my class was a hunter. That was known. What was unknown was how to capture a new companion now that Goldrin was dead. Admittedly, I wasn¡¯t going off of much here, but I didn¡¯t care. At the moment, the price for failure didn¡¯t seem like such a bad thing. If anything, death felt like a neutral option to me, maybe even the better one. I leapt. To my relief, my heavy body left the ground. I shot forward more than I shot upward, but I was still able to slam my weapon hilt deep into the back of the beast. It stumbled forward at the impact of both my body and the pointy weapon I carried. I tried to latch onto anything I could grab, but my free hand met only with the slick surface of raw tissue and the occasional scrap of black cloth that turned to dust at the slightest pull. I was in danger of falling as the hand holding onto my Katana slowly slipped, but Avalanche fell first. I found myself lying parallel to the road on the creatures open back. It tried to stand up, causing me to rock and almost slide off. I dug my fingers into flesh. Then I did the same with my feet, kicking foot holes between the creature¡¯s ribs. By the time Avalanche stood, I was already sitting on his shoulders. Congratulations! You have received a pet - Semi Intelligent Avalanche! As I sat on top of the lumbering beast, I wasn¡¯t filled with wonder. I didn¡¯t gasp over the fact that I could see for miles and I wasn¡¯t proud of myself. Instead, I was bitter and angry. Bitter that the only way to avenge Goldrin was to replace him, and angry for more reasons than could be listed. I pointed in the direction of Nikko¡¯s Parlor and my companion set off. He decided to take a straight path, crashing into houses with his body and tearing up everything behind him with his chains. It was slow going, especially for a mount that was as tall as the houses it destroyed. I took off my Necklace of Healing. It elongated in my hands until it resembled an entire length of rope. I draped it around my Semi Intelligent Companion. As his ankle healed, he picked up the pace. When we got to the Parlor, the chains that dragged behind us were filled with mailboxes, portions of chain fences, termite damaged lumber and even an extremely upset Scrounger. ¡°Down,¡± I commanded. Avalanche grabbed me with one hand and set me gently to the ground. I walked behind him, tossed a few mailboxes out of his chain, and drove my Katana into the mouth of the tangled Scrounger. The abomination screamed as it died. The noise was music to my ears. I yearned to hear Ragnaros do the same. Chapter 18 Nikko convinced me that attacking Ragnaros was still a bad idea, even though we had Avalanche on our side. He didn¡¯t have to try too hard. Deep down I knew that Ragnaros could probably kill my new companion just as quickly as my old one. ¡°Let¡¯s just stay here,¡± Nikko suggested, ¡°we are strong enough to find food and water when we need it and we have the shield. There is no reason to leave.¡± I looked deep into his eyes and realized that he was indeed, broken. Or maybe he was more broken when we first met, but either way, he was speaking nonsense, so I told him so. ¡°Fuck you,¡± he said. Then he went back to reading one of his magazines - as if the hottest tattoo trends of 1995 was pertinent information. Most of our conversations over the next few days went the same way, but I didn¡¯t think any less of him for it. He was coping the only way he knew how and that was all that mattered. Lorelai, on the other hand, was moving in the opposite direction. She frequently fell into loud fever dreams, yelling at her parents in her sleep. We woke her up the first few times, but the screams when she was awake sounded more painful than the ones when she was dreaming, so we stopped. Nikko and I sat in the parlor for long stretches of time, listening to nothing but her desperate pleas build to soul piercing screeches. Over time, Lorelai''s wailing became as reliable as the gray night sky. Gangrene festered in the charred flesh of her stump every other day. When it came, Nikko sacrificed most of his health to heal it. The action left him exhausted and weak and angry that he couldn¡¯t just heal her leg back. Nikko got about an hour every other day when he wasn¡¯t recovering or healing. He used it to practice his Inscription ability, hoping to find a way to enchant a magical appendage onto someone. I didn¡¯t have the heart to tell him that it probably wouldn¡¯t work. When Lorelei finally died, the silence that filled the Parlor was haunting. I would have preferred to hear her screams for the rest of my life if it meant she could still be there with me. It was a selfish thought though. She was suffering, and our attempts to heal the infection that finally took her just prolonged her pain. Nikko and I didn¡¯t talk for an entire day after we buried her next to Grandma. There was just nothing that needed to be said. All of it broke my heart. She didn¡¯t deserve to go out that way. All she wanted was to live her life how she wished for once. And as soon as she was able to, her life was snatched away from her. It was as if it didn¡¯t belong to her at all and when she tried to take control of it, she paid the ultimate price. I think I went mad for a while. The next few days were a blur of dark thoughts and emotions I don¡¯t care to recite. If I did, you would think I was went crazy long before Lorelei died, and you wouldn¡¯t be wrong. When I finally regained my faculties, only one thing was clear. I wasn¡¯t going to let someone else pull the strings of my life. I wasn¡¯t going to let someone else orchestrate my path. And I wasn¡¯t going to fumble around, ignorant of the routes and problems around me, like I did before the rainbow letters came. I was going to stand up. I was going to put an end to this one way or another, even if it meant dying a slow and painful death like my first ever female friend. I realized then that her death wasn¡¯t a tragedy. Her life before the Apocalypse was, and so was mine. She was sheltered and alone just as I was, only for different reasons. I asked Nikko if he would come with me to train, and eventually to kill Ragnaros. His face wore a permanent frown now. I could see in his sunken eyes that he had no logic left to throw at me, no retorts, and no desire to convince me it was still a bad idea. ¡°Ye.. Yes,¡± He said, his voice cracking from unuse. ¡°Good,¡± I said. Then I summoned the rainbow letters with a wave of my hand. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! Bait 2 - Improves control of your yellow Scrounger pheromone. The Matrix 2 - Extends the duration of this skill to 7.5 seconds. Power Punch - An activated punch ability with a mediocre cool down. Guarantee a critical hit. I would like to say that I chose the Power Punch ability for some hopefully romantic reason, but I didn¡¯t. I now understood that Lorelai was never going to be my girlfriend, and I understood that she wasn¡¯t a damsel that needed saving. She was just a person, like me. If that realization made me mad, it was because I treated her terribly. I objectified her from the moment we first met, and I thought some profoundly ignorant things toward her. Guilt wasn¡¯t the reason I chose the Power Punch ability either though. My logic behind the decision was mostly cold, and without emotion. At least, not the sort of sentiment that revolved around Lorelai. I chose the ability because I was familiar with the game mechanics now. I knew that every time I reached a new level, I was always offered the chance to upgrade a skill I already had. I already had a plan to improve my Matrix ability, so what I was after were new skills. Also, I wanted to feel my bare knuckles cut into Ragnaros¡¯s camouflaged face. It was more intimate that way. My Grandmother plopped into existence on the parlor floor with a puff of purple makeup dust. She curled her feet underneath herself, greeted me with a smile, and waited patiently for Goldrin to waddle over to her. ¡°He¡¯s dead,¡± I said plainly from the parlor chair. She studied me for a long time. I let her do so quietly and looked down from my seat and deep into her eyes. Perhaps I was expecting a happy scene from my childhood to re-play in thier reflection and remind me that everything was going to be okay. Perhaps I was looking for something that would remind me of the person I used to be. Perhaps, I was simply staring at her because she was staring at me. ¡°I see,¡± she finally said with a sigh. ¡°Milton, sweetheart, this will be my last time visiting you. Now, I don¡¯t want you to think its because of Pomm-¡± ¡°Why?¡± I cut her off, eager to understand why she couldn¡¯t come back, just in case I could learn something about how this world works. If I did, there was a slim possibility I could leverage the information to destroy Ragnaros. She stumbled over my uncharacteristic interruption for a moment, then said, ¡°Because you are ready.¡± Then she disappeared with a blown kiss. ¡°No!¡± Nikko yelled as he forcefully stood from his chair. He looked at the spot where Grandma sat just moments ago, then his eyes fell upon me. There was a desperate sadness behind his eyes. He reeled on me, his voice cracking, ¡°Why did you do that!¡± I stood up to meet him. ¡°You chased her away!¡± My fist crackled with an electric energy. Nikko¡¯s eyes began to well as he unleashed his loneliness upon me. I punched the tears from his eyes with a sickening crunch. Critical Hit! You¡¯ve dealt 121 damage to Nikko! Wow, I thought, impressed with the amount of damage I could deal on a critical hit. I figured that the critical dealt double the damage of my normal attacks, which was slightly less than what I could do with my Katana. I also knew that losing that much health points wouldn¡¯t effect Nikko too much. The last time I checked, he had over 500 points. He was tough and strong. The only problem was that he had forgotten. He slowly turned his head back to face me, and I felt a presence fill the room. It was intangible, yet powerful and all-consuming. It was Nikko. As his eyes met mine, I saw a fury behind them. It was almost enough to make me afraid. We stared at each other, our faces inches apart and our hearts racing to outpace the other. Then he punched me back. Nikko Ortiz attacks you - Minus 74 hit points! I smiled. Then a small chuckle escaped me. Nikko¡¯s intimidating presence melted away, and when he began to laugh, I laughed more. ¡°You asshole,¡± he said. ¡°Ha, sorry man. But you fucking needed that.¡± He gave me a grudging nod, and we laughed some more. It was an odd feeling, and I focused on it as hard as I could, doing my best to stay in the moment because I knew it wouldn¡¯t last. The rest of the world felt distant in that moment. The sharp pain in my gut after losing my Grandma and my two companions was gone and it its place, the love and respect I held for them all. Some part of me realized that I never really laughed that much. Even before the apocalypse, I was too worried about getting the best gear in video games or worrying over when the next person was going to give me a hard time. The joy I felt then was as powerful as it was brief. I realized with heartbreaking sobriety that I hadn''t laughed that heartily with a friend since my DND days. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Nikko¡¯s reality kicked in around the same time as mine. The smiles died on our faces as if they had never been there in the first place. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I said, nodding my head in the direction of the door, ¡°there isn¡¯t anything left for us here.¡± Nikko''s face was stern, but as he nodded his head in reply, I could see that he wanted to say something. He had that same impatient body language as the time he spoke and gave up our position to the Scroungers when we had to defend our home base. This time though, he bit off his words. ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± I said. He sighed and shook his head, ¡°Shut up.¡± Then he stepped past me and for the door. When he reached it, he paused and lowered his head, his fingers tightly wrapped around the handle. I gave him a moment to be alone. This would be the last time he would ever see his beloved Tattoo Parlor. He knew that we would never make it back. And he was right. *** I had gained one level, which I used to improve my Matrix ability, by the time we made it a few blocks over from the Parlor. We traveled the opposite direction of Ragnaros until we reached a large shopping mall. The road we walked to approach it was wider than the streets in our neighborhood. Scroungers and abandoned cars filled it. We were able to scavenge enough food from those cars to fill our stomachs but didn¡¯t have the same luck with water. ¡°Someone must have come through here already,¡± commented Nikko. ¡°Yea,¡± I said, emptying the meager remnants from the only water bottle I was able to find into my mouth. It tasted of plastic. I navigated my companion to the front of one of the largest stores. The outside of the cement building was covered with signs that begged shoppers to take advantage of their going out of business sale. I picked this store to enter because I knew it was closest to the food court, where I was hoping we could find water. As I ordered my Semi- Intelligent Avalanche to stay put, Nikko grumbled something about the Apocalypse. ¡°They have all this floor space, but they waste it,¡± he grumbled, ¡°its no wonder all the big department stores are failing.¡± I looked at him, confused. ¡°Look at it all! If my parlor had that much room, I wouldn¡¯t waste it with racks upon racks of outdated and overpriced clothes. You have to give people an experience these days. You have to give them a reason to come in touch stuff, or they will buy online.¡± ¡°What does that have to do with the apocalypse?¡± I asked. Nikko screwed up his face, ¡°What?¡± the realization hit him. ¡°I wasn¡¯t talking about our Apocalypse. I was talking about the Retail Apocalypse.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± was all I could say. I was taken completely off guard by Nikko¡¯s passion for legitimate business. We stood outside the doors to J. C. Penny and looked inside. He pointed out a sticker on the window that mentioned the company¡¯s social media accounts. ¡°Look at this!¡± he said, tapping the sticker, ¡°they tried to start omni-channel marketing, but they reacted to the changing landscape too slowly. These department stores are dinosaurs that rested on their loins for too long. If the rainbow letters didn¡¯t come, this mall would look completely different in a few years. Large gyms would take over the bankrupt department stores. Child care, movie theaters that could also hold plays, shit, anything but rack after rack of dusty clothing no one can afford.¡± ¡°Did you go to college?¡± I asked, dumbfounded. Nikko scoffed, ¡°No, that isn¡¯t for me. You don¡¯t need college if you just pay attention.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± I started to disagree, but he cut me off. ¡°It¡¯s like the Latin Kings back in our neighborhood. They were large, just like this store, and had a fuck-ton of members. BUT" he emphasized his last word with a waggled finger, "they refused to adapt and change with the times, man. They still jumped people into their gang. Kids these days don¡¯t want to get beat up just to feel like they are apart of something. Why would they do that when they could just join a chat room. That¡¯s exactly what you did, right? Why would you join a gang when you could join a guild or whatever.¡± I raised an eyebrow and nodded, ¡°That¡­¡± I cleared my throat, ¡°actually makes a little sense. I take it that is how you took over the neighborhood in your youth? Risk free invites into your gang?¡± Nikko laughed, ¡°No, I just killed their leader. Shoved my thumbs right into his eye holes.¡± He smiled, a longing look taking over his face. ¡°The so-called ''Kings'' fell apart after that.¡± ¡°Alrighty then,¡± I said, patting my sides with my hands and snapping Nikko back to his current world of violence and murder, ¡°You ready to go in now?¡± ¡°Yea, let¡¯s do it,¡± he said, swinging open one of the glass paneled doors. The inside of the store was pitch black, aside from a faint orange light flickering somewhere behind the elevators. We passed by empty clothes racks and the occasional table filled with ¡®seasonal impulse items,¡¯ as Nikko called them. I grabbed a few of the more useful looking items and tossed them into my bag. As we rounded the elevator, we could see that the orange light was coming from the main mall. We walked out the large open wall and entered the mall proper. To our left and right were various stores, all dark and abandoned. Up ahead was the food court. The orange light was coming from a large neon panda holding chopsticks just above a buffet case. The only illuminated sign next to it read, ¡®Panda Express.¡¯ My stomach grumbled from some Kung Pow Chicken, but I doubted I would find any there. A Scrounger in an apron and holding a tray of free-samples wandered around aimlessly amongst the white metal tables and chairs. Orange reflected off the white paint as I walked over to give the creature a sample of my own. I wiped my Katana clean on his apron and stood up. Nikko had a cup in his hand and was patiently pressing it into each lever of the soda fountain. When he got the water portion, he reached a finger up and pushed the special button. Now that I was a relatively healthy human being that worked out every night and morning, it occurred to me how strange it was that getting water was slightly harder than getting soda. If anything, it should be the other way around. Nikko grunted a happy grunt as water flushed into his cup. He gave it a smell, then drank it. The water gurgled from his mouth, pushed out by a scream of pain. ¡°Ah, fuck!¡± he said, dropping his cup and grabbing his shoulder. I rushed over and saw a chopstick sticking out of it. Nikko pulled it out and angrily tossed it to the floor. Blood dripped freely down his tattooed and sleeveless arm as we looked in the direction of Panda Express. A man was standing on the countertop, two women were behind it, and two more men in front. They all wore white aprons. Some of them had chef hats to match. The §ê§Ú§ß§ï §Þ§à§ß§Ô§à§Ý §ï§Ù§ï§ß§ä §Ô?§â§ï§ß Gang has declared war on the Tattoo Parlor Party. Winners will receive a legendary boon! If either party refuses to fight, or all members of a party do not participate, Ragnarok will be dispatched to destroy both parties. I stepped in front of Nikko, knowing full well that he spent most of his Inscription ink on my shield, and the rest of it trying to repair Lorelei¡¯s leg. The man on the countertop spread his feet wide, knocking over the cash register in the process. It clanged to the floor as he pulled another chopstick from his apron. He held it in front of him; then a magical bow consisting of teal energy materialized in his hands. He notched his chopstick. I covered my eyes with one hand and my junk with another. He let it loose. Foooom, the bow rang moments before the small wooden arrow pierced my shield and wedged itself into my cheek. I pulled it out with a grimace, my cheek stretching as it struggled to hang onto the stick. Blood trickled down my face as I stared at the man. I unsheathed the Katana from my back. One of the women behind the counter yelled something in a language I didn¡¯t understand, then they all fled into the back end of Panda Express. I inspected them as they ran and learned with relief that they were all much lower level than me. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Nikko commanded from behind me, ¡°we don¡¯t want Raggy to come.¡± ¡°At least not yet,¡± I added, stalking forward. I fixed my Fedora tightly on my head and climbed over the counter. Landing with a heavy thud, I peered into the back of the kitchen. A thin walkway stretched ahead of me, flanked by shiny metal shelves and various overs, fryers, and sinks. I stepped into the path, careful not to lean too far to either side. I heard a small rustling to my right, just in time to see a small man hiding on the upper portion of a shelf. A cast iron pan impacted the top of my head. I fell to my knees, and the man disappeared into the labyrinth of a kitchen. Ganbaatar Jochi attacks you - Minus 82 hit points - Critical strike! ¡°Fuck, that hurt,¡± I complained as I let Nikko awkwardly help me to my feet inside the tight space. ¡°Where did the little shit go?¡± I shrugged and took another tentative step, my eyes darted from shiny metal surface to shiny metal surface reflected with orange. Another step. Then one more. Then my shin exploded with pain. Chenghiz attack you - minus 34 hit points! I fell forward, taking one of the many aluminum shelves down with me. It fell into the opposite side of the hallway where it stayed, leaning diagonally across our path and slowly emptying its heavy contents onto my back. Nikko laughed as he did his best to right the shelf and stop more kitchen equipment from falling. When he was done, he attempted to help me up again. The process was even more awkward than the last time I fell, as he did his best to fight down his chuckling. His muscles were so weak with laughter that his hands provided nothing but moral support. I sighed and activated my one-hand-on-your-knee-the-other-hand-grabbing-anything-that-will-support-you ability and got to my feet. ¡°Do you want to lead the way?¡± I asked, exasperated. Nikko chuckled and shook his head, ¡°Nope. You¡¯re doing a great job.¡± Two more Kitchen Ninja¡¯s managed to sneak attack me before we made it to the back. I pulled out a handful of chopsticks from my ass and grabbed the door nob to the only door. Opening it sliver by sliver, I peeked my head inside, only to be greeted by another cast iron frying pan. ¡°Ahhh goddamnit,¡± I seethed, holding the top of my head and letting my pain-rage pulse through my body in heat waves. Nikko healed me a bit, and I asked him to guard the door. ¡°Yell for me if they come out,¡± I said before turning around and scouting the kitchen in earnest. It took an entire twenty minutes for me to check every nook and cranny capable of concealing small angry men. No one was left hiding. ¡°I think they are all in that room,¡± I reported back to Nikko. ¡°Cool. Go get em, Tank,¡± he said with a sly smile. ¡°Gladly,¡± I said, taking out my Katana once again. Nikko gave a silent count with his fingers, then swung the door open. I charged into the darkness. "Watch you¡¯re head!¡± his voice echoed after me. Chapter 19 My Katana cut through the darkness of the back room of Panda Express in wild arcs. I pumped my legs, one after the other, never letting them stop or slow. I stepped over hard and organic objects alike as I screamed. My war cry was cleaner now, resembling something more feral and barbaric than when I first attempted it. This time, it came unconsciously, almost naturally, as if I was meant for such things. Nikko held my regular flashlight and did his best to illuminate the remaining members of the foreign gang, but the small beam of light did nothing to uncover the truth of the violence unfolding around me. Other voices bounced off the walls of the small room, but they never reached my ears. My Katana pulled me in odd directions at times, as if it had eyes of its own and could see through the darkness and blood that filled the room. I slashed, and I yelled. I yelled, and I slashed. Eventually, the two actions became one, and I lost myself. When the walls stopped yelling back at me, my chest heaved and I saw a bright light. It came from the doorway and shined right into my eyes, through them really. It peeked into my soul and put me on display for the world to judge. I felt naked and barren, as if every choice I made and every action I took during the Apocolypse was written down, listed with relevant facts, pros and cons, and given to a panel so they could discuss the finer points of my innocence or guilt. Luckily for me, my judge wasn¡¯t a high-browed lawyer or self-professed do-gooder. It was Nikko. ¡°Quick and efficient,¡± Nikko said as he swept the room with the flashlight. ¡°You could have been quieter, but overall, good work. Now let¡¯s get the fuck out of this tiny ass room.¡± He turned and strolled out, mumbling something about a fat bull in a tiny Asian china cabinet as he went. The door closed behind him, and I was left there, standing in the middle of a pitch black room littered with leaking bodies. I realized then, that if they ever did make a movie about my heroic efforts, this scene was much more appropriate then what I imagined in my Grandma¡¯s basement when I first found my Katana. I found Nikko sitting on a table in the middle of the food court. His eyes looked somewhere far away as his hands worked to shovel beef and snow peas into his mouth. I sat down on a table directly across from him and waved the rainbow letters into existence so I could see what he was looking at. You have defeated the §ê§Ú§ß§ï §Þ§à§ß§Ô§à§Ý §ï§Ù§ï§ß§ä §Ô?§â§ï§ß Gang! Please choose a Legendary Reward! - A Traveling Merchant - A Squad of Demon Guards - A Useful Legendary Weapon or Piece of Armor Squinting just enough to see past the rainbow letters, my eyes met Nikko¡¯s. I could tell he wasn¡¯t excited about the options available to us, and neither was I. Although we never talked about it, a small part of us held out hope that the rainbow letters would offer us a way to bring back Lorelai. Or Goldrin, or Gram, or shit, maybe even Greg. We had no such luck though, and a larger part of us knew that we wouldn¡¯t, at least not in a world run by Ragnaros. Before we looked away, a silent agreement was made. We looked at each other, and we both knew we couldn¡¯t afford to get our hopes up like that again. We both knew that we wanted nothing other than Ragnoros¡¯s head. And we both knew that nothing would stop us from getting it. Those were the three truths our eyes told each other, and although the first of them was actually a lie, we did our best to believe in it. A small shuffling sound from up high caught my attention. I looked around without moving my head and surveyed the room. There were more restaurants to my left, but none with illuminated neon signs that signalled a gang base. Opposite of the eateries was another large department store, and in front of that, an elevator. Shit, I thought, remembering that there was a floor above us. I glanced to Nikko, and he gave me a wink, letting me know that he was aware of the noise from the floor above, and that he was also doing his best to avoid looking upward. I picked up my Katana and acted like I was washing the blood from it, but really, I was looking in its reflection. There was a slight blue glow coming from the upper floor and dark figures that stood in front of it. I counted them as they lurked above, nothing but a wooden railing keeping them from falling right on top of us. Twenty three, I thought, far too many to kill, even if they are lower level than us. I racked my brain for a plan. I was ready for a fight if it came to it, but I didn¡¯t want to risk ending my journey before it reached its inevitable conclusion. I continued to sit and think, pretending to be unaware of the small army above me. Every second that they didn¡¯t attack filled me with dread and confusion. The two emotions mixed in my stomach until they went sour and I couldn¡¯t bear to sit anymore. I couldn¡¯t bear the idea of them making the first move, and I couldn¡¯t bear simply having to adapt to whatever they decided to do. So I acted first. I let my self-conscious mind take a back seat and handed my body over to intuition. A wink to Nikko. A poke in the air. I took those simple actions without thought, yet with a lifetime of knowledge. The people above me were scared. I could almost smell the fear in the air. It pooled up on the second floor. It cascaded down the elevator, and it poured over the railing. They were terrified, waiting to see what happened next so they could decide how to react. I was happy that I wasn¡¯t in their shoes for once, and when a purple portal ripped open the air above me, I couldn¡¯t help but smile. Four demons fell from the portal, clambered to their feet, and surveyed their new world. They made confused sounds and muttered between themselves for a moment, just long enough for me to be sure that the people above me got a good look at them.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. Snarky Demon met my eyes and let loose a succinctly frustrated sigh. He walked toward me, grumbling something about how they don¡¯t work for contracts anymore and are free demons. I ignored him, at least until he got close. When he did, my hand shot out and gripped his wrist. His scales were hot metal in my hand. I squeezed them as hard as I could as I met the Demon¡¯s confused eyes. His expression turned angry as I continued to squeeze, harder and harder. His scales gave way to my grip. I could feel warm blood flowing between them and my fingers. It dripped onto the floor. Strength Check Passed. ¡°Milton, what are-¡± he began, but his words cut short when I stood up, raised him into the air by his wrist, and whipped his body to the floor. He melted into a pool of blood on impact, but just like Leader Demon before me, I still held onto the insubordinate piece of shit, even in his liquid form. A gasp or two was heard from the floor above me, but I yelled over them so no one had to admit that they had been discovered. I wanted them to stay. I wanted them to watch. ¡°ABOUT,¡± I yelled, ¡°FACE!¡± The three other demons saluted me, then showed me their backs as one. I gripped the slimy strand of thick blood in my hand and whipped it up, into the hole in the second floor that overlooked the food court. The pool of blood that was Snarky Demon shot into the air; then I violently pulled it back down. A loud snapping noise echoed through the empty mall just as my blood whip caught fire above me. As I dealt out reprimands to the squad of demon guards, lesser men discussed what they were going to do about the crazed, fedora wearing brute below them. The General Contractor Gang would like to offer you an alliance. Agree to an alliance? Yes or No. I selected the Yes option, this time not bothering to poke at the air. I tossed my flame whip to the ground and let Snarky Demon coalesce into his normal form. He didn¡¯t have anything important to say as he walked over to his companions and toed the line. Nikko continued to sit nonchalantly on his table, picking at his teeth with a toothpick he must have grabbed from Panda Express. If I didn¡¯t know him so well, I would have colored him un-impressed or bored, but I could tell that deep down he wanted to smile, he was just very good at hiding it. It occurred to me then that Nikko was the perfect partner to pull such stunts with. His relaxed and calm demeanor as I whipped a platoon of demons must have done more to unnerve our new alliance members than the demons themselves. I raised one arm, sans my Katana, and pointed a finger to the elevator to my right. I held it there, without looking up, until my new alliance members got the point. They murmured in hushed tones, but eventually, they all shuffled down to the food court one by one. They clumped together at the bottom of the elevator, unsure of were to go. I walked toward them, leaving Nikko at his table to pick his teeth and be mysterious. My squad of demons fell in step behind me, and when I came within spitting distance of the crowd, I requested to speak to their leader. One man stood a head taller than the others. After the group shared a moment of angry glances, they parted to make way for the poor dude. He wore denim pants and a large flannel shirt that would have hid his beer belly had it not been tucked in. Around his waist was a leather tool belt. The man carried a hammer in his hand when he walked toward me. As he got close, I could see that his face was weathered from the elements, making him seem older than he was likely to be. ¡°I am Ben,¡± the man started as he sheathed his hammer and gave me a slight bow. I welcomed the show of deference, mostly because I hadn¡¯t met another man with a stomach that could rival my own, and I wasn¡¯t eager to see them collide. Still, though, this man knew when he was out of his element, and acted accordingly. Had we been on a construction site, I would be the one sheathing my tool of choice and bowing to him. ¡°The Master Builder,¡± he finished. I laughed. It was probably rude, and it didn¡¯t help the whole badass vibe I had going, but I couldn¡¯t help it. ¡°Master builder?¡± I asked, my voice probably coming across as mocking. ¡°Like from the Lego movie?¡± I tried to compose myself after those last words, but it was a moot point. I laughed, and I laughed some more. The entire scene went on much longer than was comfortable, but what was even more uncomfortable, was the fact that they let me do it. They stood there, all twenty-something of them huddled together, and let me belittle and mock them. The louder I laughed, the more they fidgeted, so I laughed as loud as I could, just to watch them squirm as much as they could. ¡°Sir,¡± Ben said as the insanity within me ran its course, ¡°we do not want any trouble. We actually came to thank you for getting rid of the Panda Express Gang. They have been sabotaging our building plans and slowly picking us off one by one.¡± ¡°Them?¡± I asked, tossing a thumb over my shoulder. ¡°Yes.¡± I nodded, ¡°Ah I see.¡± I looked him dead in the eyes, through them really. ¡°You must be even weaker than I thought then.¡±At my words, the crowd behind Ben began to moan and complain. Their leader was a spitting image of myself as far as body type went, but when I backed him into that corner, he was no bigger than a mouse. Damn, I thought, too bad Avalanche isn¡¯t nearby. Then they would be really shitting themselves. I waved my hands, as if to erase my last words right from the air where they still lingered, unchallenged, ¡°It is no matter. I am strong enough for all of us. And if I¡¯m not, he most certainly is,¡± I pointed to Nikko. The tattooed parlor owner turned his head away from us to spit out his toothpick. He watched it fly through the air, and he watched it land. He took his time, and when he was ready, he slowly turned his head in our direction. He looked at the crowd and then a deranged smile began to grow on his face. It started as a small movement of his ears. Then his cheeks twitched slightly and pulled upward. His lips parted, slowly, revealing the fact that his toothpick was just for show. He smiled at the room. His eyes were wild, and his teeth still filled with partially chewed meat. I shuddered, ¡°Ehh,¡± I said, waving everyone¡¯s gaze back to me. They reluctantly tore their attention away from the creature I called Nikko, then I leaned closer and whispered, ¡°Honestly, he creeps me out sometimes too.¡± Chapter 20 Ben, the Master Builder, turned out to be an all-around decent guy. Truthfully speaking, he was a great guy. As we walked up an escalator to his party¡¯s home base, he explained the intricacies of his builder class. Ben said that when the rainbow letters came, he and his small crew were doing repairs to the HVAC units on top of the mall. Things started to go awry, and he rightfully abandoned his project and instead ordered his crew to fortify the mall. Once they build up a defensible location that lead to the roof, they went out to find survivors. The mall itself was a madhouse. He said that screams reached every corner of every department store on every level. People ran into each other on accident, then fought to their deaths just because they thought they were the one being attacked. He said that the Scroungers were hard to recognize at first because there was so much movement. It was difficult to identify a few odd hopping people amongst the crowd, and by the time they did, the Scrounger was already attacking someone. People rushed out of the mall in droves. He described it as ¡®Reverse Black Friday¡¯ with genuine seriousness. People broke from the stampede, only to arrive by the safety of their cars and find they had to unlock them with their keys, instead of hitting the convenient button as they usually did. Some people died right then, their keys still stuck in car doors. Others made it inside their cars, only to find that it wouldn¡¯t start. Ben said that they had the worst deaths. They watched other humans, some of them probably familiar to them or family members, knock their heads into windshields until bone and glass shattered. The resulting scenes were of struggle, blood, teeth, and tight spaces with nowhere to run except the back seat. Some of them did try and run though, only to be immediately taken down by the Scroungers that surrounded their cars, waiting. ¡°At least they died in the fresh air,¡± Ben said as we reached the top floor of the mall. He lead us to a portion of the wall re-enforced with dark metal paneling. I ran my hand across it and realized that it was warm and that it had tiny flecks of purple in it. ¡°That is from my builder class,¡± Ben said, ¡°I can create as much of it as I want, and the Scroungers can¡¯t break through it, no matter how hard they try.¡± I nodded as I twisted the dark metal doorknob on the paneling, ¡°What about Avalanches?¡± ¡°What about what?¡± ¡°You know. The big hooded guys that carry around a bunch of chains. Spiked lead balls on the end?¡± Ben furrowed his brow and shook his head, ¡°Oh, well. I will introduce you two later.¡± I twisted the doorknob. A dark stairway opened up before me. Ben must have made the entire stairwell out of his magic metal. Deep purple crystals fastened the dark panels together where screws would usually be. A metal sconce protruded from the wall. Inside it was a makeshift torch, made from a broken baseball bat wrapped in what I could only assume was designer clothing soaked in gasoline and wax. The firelight licked the crystals as it flickered and sputtered, causing the stairway to twinkle a slight purple in places. ¡°Is he your friend? This Avalanche?¡± ¡°No,¡± I replied immediately and without thought. Ben paused at my sudden seriousness, and I realized I was staring at him. I tore my eyes away, composed myself, and continued walking up the stairs, our entire alliance in line behind us, no doubt being harassed by Nikko. ¡°You¡¯ll see. And then you will understand.¡± I reached the top of the stairs, and Ben stepped by me to open two very thick doors. They swung open without a single screech or heavy moan, and I was greeted by the dull grey sky once again. It seemed brighter from up high, but I figured that it was just because the moon had found a thinner layer of clouds to hide behind. The top of the mall was what you would expect; flat and littered with various boxes responsible for heating, air conditioning, filtration, and other joys of civilized life. Ben had built ten foot high sections of his metal all around the edge of the building so that no one could fall, or jump, off. He did have stairs on some portions that lead to walkways on top of the metal. Two people walked on this walkway, patrolling it and keeping an eye on what they could see below. I climbed the stairs and looked over the edge. The ground was three stories down. It actually seemed quite peaceful from my perspective, but I knew firsthand how perspectives could cloud your judgment. ¡°Did you see us coming?¡± I asked Ben. He shook his head from his spot by the stairs, but away from the ledge, ¡°No. We must have been under attack when you came, otherwise we would have seen you. It was your yelling that alerted us.¡± Damn, I thought, peeking over the inside edge of the guard platform and looking for Nikko. He did say I could have been quieter¡­ ¡°The depression Eagles?¡± I asked. ¡°What?¡± Ben asked. His speech was clear and articulate, yet I got the sense that his mind wasn¡¯t the sharpest tool in his belt. ¡°The depression Eagles. Was it them that attacked you?¡± ¡°Oh, I am not sure what they are called. Large birds routinely attack us. They resemble more dinosaur than anything I have ever seen though. Huge and red and scaled and with a wingspan bigger than a Bagger 293 Bucket Wheel Excavator.¡± I blinked, ¡°Hmm, that doesn¡¯t sound like a depression Eagle to me,¡± I said, motioning to the skyline in the direction of Ragnaros, ¡°Do they come from this direction?¡± ¡°No,¡± he said, turning around and pointing in the opposite direction, to the city. ¡°As I said, they are huge. You can see them coming from a mile away.¡± ¡°How do you fight them then? Why not just close off the sky with your building abilities?¡± Ben looked personally insulted, ¡°What? And be stuck indoors for eternity? That¡¯s not the life for me. I know the sky hasn¡¯t exactly been a sight to see lately, but it is better than a ceiling. Besides,¡± Ben¡¯s face lit up with childlike excitement, ¡°I have a better solution.¡± The Builder¡¯s eyes looked off into the distance and became blank, yet the enthusiasm remained on the rest of his face. He poked around in the air; then I heard a mechanical rumbling below me. I looked over the inside edge of the guard platform once again. The other survivors were busy unpacking brand new air mattresses, gathering up food, and taking much-needed rests. Nikko sat with his back to one of the HVAC boxes, a toothpick in his mouth and a butterfly knife in his hands. He was busy opening and closing it with skillful flourishes. It was quite impressive, but I could tell he was doing it for the show. His flourishes stumbled and stalled at spots, but only a skilled knife enthusiast such as myself would notice the novice mistakes. So while his knife wasn¡¯t that impressive to me, I was sure it was the main reason no other survivors, besides the demons, had come over to talk to him yet. What was impressive though, was how he already managed to loot a store in the five minutes it took us to walk to the food court to our new home base. As I was daydreaming of all the things I wanted to loot from the various stores inside the mall, the mechanical grinding noise intensified. I used my superior hearing to track its source to a large and dark metal plate on the floor. I didn¡¯t notice it before, but now it was apparent that Ben had customized the floor as well as the walls of the towering fort. ¡°Clear the area!¡± Ben yelled before leading me back down the guard platform. After a thorough safety check, Ben was confident that no human souls were in danger of whatever he was about to unleash and that OSHA would be proud of him. Then his eyes became blank, and he poked at the air once again. The metal plates in the floor split at the center and pulled away from each other. The slide over concrete and a giant hole opened up. After another thirty seconds of gears grinding together, something began to grow from the hole. It was black, speckled with the same purple flakes as all his other metal, and pointy. It turned out only to be pointy at the top though. The remaining portion of the contraption resembled an old-school canon, complete with wheels and an aiming mechanism someone could sit inside and operate. The cannon didn¡¯t have a barrel, only a sharp point, almost as if the thing was operational at one time or another, but melted from overuse. I wondered how and what it fired, so I asked.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Crystals, of course,¡± Ben replied as if the answer was obvious. ¡°Someone sits in here, operates these levers to aim, then hits this button to fire. When the button is pressed, some sort of energy coalesces into crystal form at the tip and fires away. I don¡¯t really understand how it works, but I haven¡¯t given up yet.¡± ¡°Yea,¡± I said, marveling over the heavy weapon, ¡±You wouldn¡¯t... How fast does it fire?¡± I asked, imagining myself in the cockpit, unleashing a barrage of crystals into Ragnaros¡¯s face until his body was nothing but a thick ooze on the dirty cracked neighborhood streets. Nothing but a distant memory that I struggled to drown under beer after beer, washing it away until I only remembered it in the morning when my headache came. How fitting that would be. I would smash and dismember his memory until it twisted and resembled something completely separate than it was, for anything else was better than what Raggy actually was. I would mold it and change his memory. I would do the same for others as well, ensuring that his name would be forgotten, and the terror and insanity that he sew was nothing but a fading scar on the brains of all of humani- ¡°Bork?¡± Chills crept up my body. I looked around, looked everywhere within the span of a second, my eyes frantically darting from there to nowhere. Fear and confusion and longing fought for territory within me. ¡°Did you hear that?¡± I asked the Master Builder behind me. He politely pried my hand off his shoulder, finger by finger. I hadn¡¯t even known I was reaching back and grasping him. ¡°No,¡± he said, a concerned expression on his weathered face, ¡°hear what?¡± I looked at him, and it was obvious that he was scared, possibly even a little worried for me. I didn¡¯t blame him; I was concerned about me too. ¡°Nothing,¡± I said, doing my best to smile. I looked across the way to where Nikko sat with his knife. He met my eyes and smiled at me. It was a big, genuinely happy smile - one that I had never seen on him before. I looked at the demons. They were smiling at me too. Everyone was smiling at me. I violently turned back to face Ben, half expecting him to be in on the cruel joke as well. He wasn¡¯t. Ben was concerned. Ben was a good guy. Truthfully speaking, he was a great guy. That was the day that I realized for certain, that I was crazy. I didn¡¯t have to act like a threatening and crazed murderer - I was one. Maybe I was driven mad by everything that happened after the rainbow letters came. My Grandmother¡¯s death, Goldrin and Lorelai¡¯s. The fact that I had to kill real people, just to better my odds of survival with a legendary reward or two. Maybe I was mad long before the rainbow letters came, but either way, you shouldn¡¯t worry - at least not yet. The insanity that gripped me was temporary, like the sort you got from daylight savings time and long winter. Eventually, I would emerge from this like a chubby sunflower on the first day of spring. But not yet. Not now. Currently, the insanity held me tight and firm, like a nightmare encased within other, more disturbing nightmares. *** It didn¡¯t take long for word of my strange behavior to spread amongst the people. It even spread to Nikko eventually. My tattooed companion kept me grounded though. He made me realize that the world was going to hell all around me and that what really mattered was how I handled it. He told me that was what made a man; how he carried the weight on his shoulders. So I ignored Goldrin¡¯s calls when they came. They sent shivers right up my spine every time, but I always swallowed them and pressed on. And when the weight became too much to carry by myself, Nikko carried some of it for me. When Nikko showed me this part of himself instead of calling me a fatass and telling me to toughen up, I felt like I was finally in a secret club that everyone else was already a member of. Being in the club allowed you access to life¡¯s simple truths. It let you know that life wasn¡¯t always easy, but if you put your head down and didn¡¯t give up, most problems could be overcome. It sounds like a simple realization for most, but it wasn¡¯t for me. Nikko had his own struggles too, and when they became too much for him to carry, I transferred some of it to my shoulders when they had space. Our arrangement wasn¡¯t ideal, but it worked. It was the best we were going to get, and for that, we were both silently grateful. We leaned on each other heavily over the next few weeks, always in private, so we didn¡¯t mess up our reputation. If there was a silver lining to all of this insanity, it was that: our reputation. It meant that no one would ask who was really in charge of the alliance, because they didn¡¯t want to upset me. Ben handled most of the day to day operations to accomplish our mission, but I always lingered in the background, ready to overturn his decisions whenever I wanted. I was like the Sith Lord behind the pretty face of the Senate. I was the silent hand that slowly pushed a small army into Ragnaros. No one in the alliance, besides Nikko, knew that I was covertly leading them to their doom. No one knew that in just a few days, they would be the bullet shields that allowed me to get in close to my enemy. It was a sacrifice that needed to be made, and it was a weight that I needed to carry alone. Such was the curse of heroes, always doing what needed to be done, no matter how ugly the deed was. This particular deed was particularly ugly though, and it tore and gnawed on the very core of me. It chewed up my last vestiges of sanity. It rotted the chain that tethered me to the earth and kept me from floating off into the grey night sky. I was consumed, wholeheartedly, by my obsession to kill Ragnaros and end the affliction of rainbow letters. My new self was showcased in all its vivid glory the day that a gargantuan, red scaled bird attacked. I was overseeing the finishing touches of a ramp that would connect directly to the ground from the top of the mall. It was secured and reinforced of course, but even if it wasn¡¯t, no one was worried. Or at least, they didn¡¯t have the gall to say they were. You see, the other day I had leveled up, without even leaving our home base. It wasn¡¯t until I went to visit Avalanche that I saw he had gotten bored and killed anything that moved within the large parking lot in which I left him. The bodies of dozens of Scroungers and other, lesser, Avalanches littered the parking lot, each one falling prey to my Semi-Intelligent Avalanche and therefore, granting me a portion of their experience. I used the skill point to improve my Knock Down ability and spent the rest of the day testing it out and formulating a plan to feed Avalanche more kills while I slept. My improved Knock Down now had an entire range of effect. My stomach still exploded outward, but now it didn¡¯t have to impact anything to work. My enemies merely had to be within a ten-foot radius in front of me. That only took me an hour to discover. The plan to feed Avalanche took much longer, days in fact. I became obsessed with it. I thought about how I could make it work in my sleep and when I ate and when I took my daily shit. When I finally figured it out, I forced Ben to cancel all other building plans and start on my project right away. It consisted of a ramp, so my companion would be closer to me and off the ground, and some bait. I set up a trap below the ramp. It blasted air horns, car horns, and annoying music at all times. I also used all my remaining batteries from Grandma¡¯s basement to power a neon, ¡°Domestic and Imported Beer¡± sign. I hoped that it would attract any Scroungers in the area and Avalanche would just swing his lead balls down on them when they got too close. He would be safe, and I would have a permanent flow of free experience points to help me with my upcoming battle. When I saw the bird for the first time, I realized two things. One was that Ben had grossly under-articulated the creature¡¯s size. And secondly, we were fucked - even with the crystal cannon. It came to be on the skyline as if the faraway city had given birth to it. It started as a small rumble below my feet, and then, looking out over neighborhood after neighborhood, I watched a large building in the city tumble over like a child¡¯s stack of blocks. I estimated that it was at least forty stories tall, but it was hard to tell from so far away. Still, the building could certainly be classified as a skyscraper because scraping the sky was what it did. It fell over, knocking down other buildings on its wake and leaving a long straight disturbance in the grey clouds. The red of the bird could be seen then, but not enough to fully grasp its enormity. A cloud of rubble dust quickly masked the little that I could see, but then the bird exploded into the sky, dispersing an entire city worth of dust with one giant flap of its wings. It was much bigger than a depression Eagle, hell, it was much bigger than any plane ever made. It was as large and terrible as my stockpile of purposely forgotten childhood memories, and by the looks of its bus-sized claws, just as damaging. ¡°Shit,¡± Nikko said as he joined me on the guard walkway. He turned to Ben, ¡°Is it going to come for us?¡± Ben gave a solemn nod, ¡°They usually do.¡± He waited for a split second to see if we had anything to say, then yelled over the inside edge of the walkway, ¡°EVERYONE GET INSIDE NOW! WE HAVE ANOTHER DRAGON! THE BIGGEST ONE YET!¡± Chapter 21 It loomed over the Earth like a god. The dragon¡¯s wings extended from its heavy center, cutting through the sky like two scale covered blankets large enough to snuff out my entire neighborhood. Like the world was its birthright, it soared over everything my eyes could see. A single pump of its wings carried it from one side of the horizon to the other. When it disappeared behind the curvature of the Earth, only to burst from an opaque cloud of grey tens of miles away a second later, my heart did cartwheels. Clusters of cloud and entire portions of sky surged and roiled as the dragon flew through them. Water vapor gathered on its deep red scales, causing the beast to glisten as it emerged. Ben climbed into the cockpit of the crystal cannon after ensuring everyone else made it to the lower levels. He instructed them to stay by an exit, just in case the dragon brought the entire three-story mall down. ¡°Get out,¡± I said, looking down to the seated Master Builder. His eyes shot to mine, but he did not move. He regarded me as if finally considering standing up for himself. He might have gathered the courage to say something if the rest of his party hadn¡¯t already fled to safety, but as it was, he was staring up at me, flanked by a squad of demons, and the even more damned, Nikko. He had logic on his side, after all, he was more experienced with the crystal cannon, but he got out all the same. Part of me wished he didn¡¯t. Part of me wished he put me and my equally crazed companions in our place once and for all, but he didn¡¯t. I climbed into the cockpit and familiarized myself with the controls. ¡°Okay,¡± Ben said, refusing to take anything personally and adapting to his new reality with a familiar forced ignorance, ¡°the dragon is just stretching its wings right now, but when it is fully awake, it is going to start patrolling for food. When it finds someone, it will-¡± The builder¡¯s words were cut short by a loud crack. ¡°- it will flap its wings, shooting a gale of wind so powerful at its prey that its wings break the sound barrier. That was the crack you just heard. It is already hunting. If it gets close to us wait. Sometimes they fly right over, but if it looks at us, that is when you fire. Once it spots us it will circle higher and then pause in the air. You have a small window to kill it before it kills us with a gust of hurricane force winds. You do not want to let it shoot that air at us like that. If we don¡¯t get crushed under it then we will be thrown to who knows were.¡± I nodded, thankful that it didn¡¯t shoot fire from its long mouth. My hands gripped the warm metal levers. I could feel moisture grow between my fingers, but I held on, unwilling to let go even for a second. ¡°Bork!¡± I ignored my brain playing tricks on me and kept my eyes on the mammoth in the sky. Nikko and the other demons were on the guard platform. I used the direction of their gazes to determine where my target was in the brief moments where it flew out of sight. Finally, it flew over us. The sound was that of a jet, mixed with the whistle of a mortar flying overhead. My ears rang, and my Fedora flew away as I watched the creature slowly circle us from above. Then it forced its wings down violently and curled them into its side as it shot a mile higher in the sky. It turned mid-air and looked directly at me. It didn¡¯t have any eyes, but I still felt it size me up. I felt it in my gut, just as I did when other bullies did the same. ¡°Milton,¡± my Grandma¡¯s voice softly broke into my reality, ¡°are you okay?¡± I shook my head, not to answer her but to instead get her voice out. It didn¡¯t work. She rattled on about nonsense and grocery shopping. Ben and Nikko yelled at me from somewhere out of reach. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Her voice disappeared, but I didn¡¯t feel lonely like I usually did when she left. I felt prepared. Well-adapted. ¡°AVALANCHE!¡± I yelled, climbing out of the cockpit and running toward my companions ramp. I felt the dragon¡¯s attention on my back, but I didn¡¯t dare waste a second to confirm. I climbed the stairs, the purple flecks in the metal becoming streaks in my vision as my legs pumped tirelessly. ¡°Ah fuck,¡± Nikko swore, a soul breaking afraidness in his voice. I yelled again, just in time to see my companion¡¯s dark hood rise over the ledge of the mall. Time slowed. My semi-intelligent pet stepped onto the roof, regarding the larger creature in the sky with a curious tilt of his cowl. Then he understood. With a single step, Avalanche scooped me, Nikko, and Ben into his arms. I caught a glimpse of the red in the sky, then darkness. My world was nothing, other than the heavy breathing of the bodies next to me and the un-breathing and slimy chest of my companion. We were a ball of life, protected by the body of an undead creature. When the dragon gusted his gale at us, I thought I was going to explode under the pressure. The immovable avalanche slid closer against the foot high concrete barrier of the edge of the mall roof. The pressure built and built until my eyes bulged, but I couldn¡¯t even scream for fear of losing the internal pressure in my chest. A second later, it was stolen from me anyway. My body expelled everything it could spare as I was crushed between Avalanche, my companions, and concrete. Then, a breath of air. The concrete barrier cracked and fell apart. My slight moment of relief was snatched away as I realized we would be squeezed in the gap the concrete left. Our bodies would become play doe pushed between the floor and black metal.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Then it ended. The pressure fully released and Avalanche rolled away from the wall. I felt Nikko¡¯s healing light wash over me, but I saved my breath of relief for later. Instead, I used it to yell a command. Avalanche stood up, and with a flick of his wrist, his lead balls shot into the air. I scrambled onto his shoulders, my hands and feet finding familiar foot holes between the ribs of his back. ¡°Now!¡± I yelled over the air rushing by my ears. Rusted chains blotted out glistening scales. Then they wrapped around them. My mount jerked, and I put all my strength into staying put. Seconds later, I was flying above the city. Constitution Check Failed. I emptied my stomach, doing my best to turn my head. Whatever exited my mouth dissipated in the wind, no doubt spreading apart and become nothing but moisture long before it hit the ground miles below me. Avalanche held onto his chains with both hands, me on his shoulders gripping his head. We swung below the dragon, practically behind it, as it cut through the sky. I couldn¡¯t tell how fast we were going, but even if I could open my eyes against the wind, it wouldn¡¯t matter - only one thing did. I let one hand release its death grip on Avalanche¡¯s head and used it to pat around. I could feel his shoulder, then his arm. I awkwardly shuffled my hands over inch by inch, until all of my limbs were wrapped around his arm. This was the first time I ever felt my abs activate, hell it was the first time I felt all my muscles activate all at once. I clung onto my companion¡¯s arm like a sucker fish on the fastest shark in the ocean. Wind billowed past me. It was so harsh it almost felt like a persistent slap. I re-clenched my jaw, then shuffled up. Sweat poured from my body, only to be whisked away into the wind as soon as it left my pores. My muscles screamed as if every fiber was burning from the inside out. I squeezed my thigh muscles with enough force to vaporize Grandma¡¯s thigh master, but it was barely enough to keep me attached. Inch by inch I climbed the un-dead arm. Avalanche¡¯s meager clothing had long since ripped away, and his normally wet tissue was dried out and porous. If it had been slick, I wouldn¡¯t have made it to the chains he held onto. I made it up the chains and to the dragon in ten minutes that felt like twenty, all with my eyes forceful shut by the wind. Something in the air smashed into me along the way. It felt like a bullet shooting through me, but I knew it was nothing more than a small bug. I wanted to close my mouth, but I couldn¡¯t get enough breath through my nose - the air was just too thin. My hands explored the scaled creature. It was just one hard, undulating mass, like if one hundred tons of metal suddenly became sentient. I couldn¡¯t make heads or tails of the beast, so I opened my eyes. It was a mistake. The pain consumed me for seconds afterward, as did the panic over being blinded. Then I heard something that scared me even more. It was the sound of chains snapping. I figured that they weren¡¯t rated to handle the tension of towing a large creature and a fat ass behind a dragon. Either that or the creature was finally using his two claws to break his bindings. I had no other option than to open my eyes and find a spot to climb. The pain was unbearable. It was as if my eyeballs were being turned into beef jerky while simultaneously being pushed into the back of my head. My eyelids opened like tiny parachutes. I felt the bottom portions fold over unnaturally; the top portions simply tore right off. Now I couldn¡¯t close my eyes if I wanted to, but it was all worth it. Congratulations! You have received a pet - Crimson Drade! Our flight path leveled out as the Drade relaxed, my influence no longer an annoyance. I wrapped my arms and legs around the chain on his neck and tucked my head to hedge against the wind that relentlessly worked to shrivel my unprotected eyes. ¡°Down,¡± I tried to say, but the words barely escaped my head, never mind my mouth. Someone how it didn¡¯t matter. I felt my body lurched forward as my new mount descended. We landed on a farm, which was jarring since there wasn¡¯t a farm within a hundred mile radius from my neighborhood. I had Avalanche climb on top of my second pet and I tore a strip of cloth from my shirt to wrap around my eyes. Then I gave the order to return to home base. The force of my dragon leaving the Earth pressed me against him like a pancake. I called upon the rainbow letters, which didn¡¯t seem to care if my eyes worked or not, and confirmed that becoming a pancake, even temporarily, did a great deal of damage. The ride home was quick as far as time went, but long as far as pain did. Actually riding a dragon wasn¡¯t anything like my dreams. It was agonizing and arduous, as distressing as it was excruciating. I held out for as long as I could and even asked the beast to slow down if at all possible, but I couldn¡¯t manage to make it back home conscious. Chapter 22 Ben and the other alliance members constantly worked to expand our territory. It started with the roof of the mall; then our presence slowly grew into it. The black metal of the Master Builder now extended to the entire second floor. Glass windows were replaced with it, as were any doors or openings. Walking through the second floor of the mall now resembled more a jail than somewhere you would go to kill some time with your family. Makeshift torches lined the walls and cast flickering light onto the sealed away stores. Now, each small shop was home to survivors, who set up homes behind each thick door. Nikko and I announced that we needed first looting rights of the lower level. When no one challenged this, probably due to being too scared to explore somewhere that wasn¡¯t patrolled by guards, we left the secured stairwell that lead to the ground floor by the food court. Every other stairwell, escalator, or elevator tunnel had been blocked off so that we only had one entrance to the second floor and roof. Ben estimated that in a few weeks, he would have the entire mall sealed and secured. It would be an impenetrable bunker for our operation. ¡°Found one,¡± Nikko said as we perused the clothing racks of Target. We had discovered quite recently that magical items hid amongst the rows and rows of merchandise. ¡°Will it protect my eyes?¡± I asked. Nikko held up the black ski-mask he was holding. As I looked at it, a dull blue sheen ran across it. The color was enough for us to tell it was magical, but it had eye holes, so I wasn¡¯t interested. What I wanted was some type of magical goggle that would allow me to fly on my dragon without ripping my eyelids off and possibly, maybe even something that also gave me an insta-death Raggy Punch ability or something. ¡°Nope. It has an interesting effect though,¡± Nikko puffed up his chest and read the description that was only visible to him, ¡°Grants Night Vision.¡± ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± I asked with a raised eyebrow, ¡°that shit is basic man, damn, have you never played a video game in your life?¡± ¡°No fucker, you know we couldn¡¯t afford it.¡± I nodded, ¡°True, my bad.¡± Nikko shook his head and donned the ski mask. He looked every bit of the criminal as you would think. ¡°I¡¯m going to keep this one,¡± he said, looking around. ¡°This must be what night vision goggles are like¡­¡± Nikko drifted away to explore his new illuminated night, and I wandered over to the bathrooms. I was hoping that no one else discovered them and I would have the water left in the top of the bowl all for myself. You see, one thing they don¡¯t talk about during the Apocalypse is the utter lack of places where you can take a relaxing shit. The sort where you sit there much longer than usual and think about life until your legs go numb. The type where you read the label of a shampoo bottle or the type your doctor says might cause hemorrhoids. That was the kind I wanted. And by the smell of the small hallway, littered with corporate communication posters reminding readers that it is open enrollment season, it looked like I was going to get it. My hand grabbed the handle to the men¡¯s bathroom, as they were always cleaner than the woman¡¯s for some reason, when I heard it. ¡°Bork!¡± ¡°Go away,¡± I whispered, my hand still on the handle. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When my affliction passed, I opened them as well as the door. There were four stalls, two urinals, and a row of relatively clean sinks. I walked to the closest stall and pushed on the door. My arm buckled, as it was unprepared for the door to be locked. Then my brain decided to play tricks on me again. The toilette behind the door flushed, and then the door swung open. I was standing there, looking at me, looking at myself. ¡°What the wh¡­¡± I said, dumbfounded. A man was standing in the stall. He looked just like me. No, he was me. Except that he seemed slightly younger. Not smaller in any way, in fact, he had about thirty pounds of extra weight around his stomach than I did, but younger in his face. It was like staring at a picture of a President before he started his term and right beside that picture was another one of him after his term. Technically, he is older in the second picture, but he also seemed to age double the amount he should have. I wore baggy pants, a ripped and torn black graphic t-shirt, a Katana on my back, and a Fedora on my head. My doppelgangers face was pudgy, so much so that it seemed like he was squinting at me. Am I that fat? I turned around to have a good honest look at myself in the mirror. Phew, I thought with relief, not as fat as that guy. Before I could inspect my mirrored reflection any further, I heard the distinct sound of my Katana being unsheathed. A hand shot to my back, I whirled around, then our two Katana¡¯s met between the stalls and the bathroom sink with a shrill, metallic clang. I grimaced at myself, ¡°Oh, so we are going to do this thing huh? The old doppelganger, this town isn¡¯t big enough for both versions of us so let the strongest prevail, switcharoo.¡± The fatter version of me didn¡¯t seem to be in a talking mood, but that was fine with me. I was buying myself time to try to get into my other head. Maybe, just maybe, I could intimidate myself enough that I would clam up and run out the room and never be heard from again, only to be discovered on the news a few years later that I died from blood clots in my leg that traveled to my brain after I stood up from an irresponsibly long stretch of gaming in one spot. My intimidating stare had little affect, something I should have predicted, so I settled for plan B - a punch to the throat. As suspected, my doppelganger hadn¡¯t put much thought into what he would do after the ¡®stare down¡¯ phase, so he settled for falling back into the stall he came from and gasping for air. Old Milton put a hand on his knee from his seat on the toilette, and one hand waved around spontaneously, looking for anything it could grasp that would support his weight and help him stand. I kicked him in the chest, and he fell back again, frustrated and angry at the world and short of air, his Katana stuck pointing downward in the tight space. Then this fucker belly bumped me. I flew back into the bathroom mirror. It shattered into a few large triangles that broke into smaller pieces as we crashed onto the countertop. ¡°Two can play that game,¡± I said, activating my own, higher level Knock Down ability. Old me never saw it coming since his stomach still needed to touch something for the ability to work. My stomach was stronger, harder, more jolly, and so powerful that when I violently pushed it out, the dispersed air was enough to knock my counterpart into and through the adjacent stall. He lay face down on top an awkward pile of red plastic doors and a broken toilette spilling the last remnants of fresh water hidden inside. Blood pooled from his hidden face and dripped onto the tile floor. I poked him in the thunder thigh with my Katana. He didn¡¯t move, so I inspected him. No rainbow letters came, no matter how much I screwed up my eyes in his direction. But then, they did come.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Lorelai - Level 23 human - Level 5 Street Fighter Max Health - ??? Inspect 1 Power Punch 2 Power Jump 2 Combo Breaker What? I looked down. My doppelganger was gone, replaced with Lorelai¡¯s comely face. The light from my regular flashlight reflected off her blond hair. ¡°I¡¯m not an idiot anymore,¡± I said, ¡°I know that you are dead and if I am seeing you now then it is just some sort of te-¡± Her entire arm came alive with an orange light that overpowered my flashlight and seconds later I was smashing through the drywall behind the broken mirror. I grunted as nonchalantly as I could manage, and got to my feet. Then I summoned my own orange street fighter energy. My fist crackled and sparked. I smiled. Then she smiled. Then I stopped smiling, suddenly aware of my inferiority. Her energy was much louder and brighter than mine. It traveled up her entire arm, whereas mine didn¡¯t go past my wrist. Damn, I thought, moments before her sneakers lit up and I found myself flying backward again. This time, the wall was tired of backing me up and let me pass right through it. I skid across the floor in Target, knocking over a shelf of dried fruit and other goodies. Lorelei was on top of me, still smiling. I understood why she was smiling around the same time as I realized my Katana was gone, maybe a moment or two after. ¡°Damnit,¡± I said as I threw her petite frame off my waist. She fell to her back, and I ran away, just as I did in the first grade when a girl with cooties decided to crush on me before I got too fat and socially inept. It was amazing how those sort of regrets managed to follow me around, really. The urge to complete my daily routine grew inside me once again, this time not caring if I was able to do it in a relaxing bathroom or not. I ignored it and hid behind a rack of utterly tasteless male hipster pants. My chest heaving, I swung my backpack to the ground and began building a trap. But Lorelai¡¯s karate feet crashed through the rack and scattered it before I could complete it. I ran again, this time back in the direction of my Katana and punching Lorelai in the face as I went. It was only a glancing blow, and her shield absorbed most of the damage, but it gave her pause nonetheless. She did look more offended than physically hurt though, and that tugged on my heartstrings, even though I knew she wasn¡¯t who she looked like she was. ¡°Sorry!¡± I yelled as I ran, ¡±I¡¯m still gonna kill ya though!¡± I found my Katana in the bathroom. I picked it up and caught a glimpse of Lorelei walking over to me through the hole in the wall. My feet splashed in a thin layer of water as I went to meet her. She walked toward me, and when she got too close, my Katana chopped downward. I felt my grip slip slightly as the force behind my blow arrested. She had stopped my attack with her elbow. I assumed that it still did damage since my sword was dug almost an entire inch into her bone, but if it did, she didn¡¯t show it. She casually straightened her arm, and my blade was released. I wasted no time and began chopping at her in other places. Both her arms came alive with orange light, and she deftly punched away each strike of my sword with energized fists. Eventually, her Combo Breaker ability ran out, and my superior fighting style prevailed. Nikko stood in front of me now. ¡°Uggh,¡± I breathed, ¡°Are you Nikko Nikko or are you Not Nikko?¡± I was ninety-nine percent sure that I already had the answer to that question, but I asked it all the same if only to catch a break from all the fighting. I was at such a level in my fitness journey that I promoted myself to thirty-pound dumbbells, as opposed to the featherweight ones I used before. As such, I could keep fighting if I wanted to, but I knew that the best performances were done with a full tank of gas. Nikko seemed content to stare at me, so that was what we did. ¡°What the fuck?¡± Nikko, the real one, said from a few rows of shelving over. I looked at him, then back to the man in front of me. This time, Greg was standing there. ¡°That¡¯s not Greg! It¡¯s a mimic or someth-¡± My words cut short when Greg¡¯s finger slowly rose to my lips. He gave me a flirtatious wink and I could definitely tell that he was gay, although my gay-dar would have never discovered Nikko had he not come out to me - not that that''s a problem. If anything, I was just highly impressed at the mimics professionalism in getting his characters right. ¡°Kill it then you weirdo!¡± Nikko yelled. Okay, I thought, grabbing Greg¡¯s wrists, just as his fingers began to explore my mouth, and breaking it. I threw his ruined hand away and whirled my Katana, chopping Greg¡¯s head off for the second time in my life. Nikko sighed, ¡°Goddamnit, I just got that vision out of my head. Now it''s going to haunt me for the next month.¡± ¡°Really?¡± I asked, ¡°Only a month?¡± ¡°Yea man,¡± Nikko said as he walked over to inspect his impostor of forbidden love, ¡°We have shit to do. Can¡¯t be ruminating over shit like this forever.¡± ¡°Ruminating,¡± I repeated as I whipped the blood from my blade, just in case it was real Then I stood up and gave my friend a wry smile, ¡°That¡¯s a big word. Who told you what it meant?¡± ¡°Shut up fat fat,¡± Nikko countered, ¡°What were you doing over here anyway?¡± ¡°I uh¡­ I had to use the bathroom.¡± He shook his head, ¡°Well, get on with it then. We have to feed your dragon again before it eats the fucking world.¡± He walked off, ski mask and all. I returned to the flooding basement and opened the door to the only stall still standing. The toilette was golden. Sparks bounced off it. I tried to catch one, but it merely passed through my sweaty palm and out the other side. Thinking I was about to have the most magical shit of my life, I opened the lid and began to turn around when I caught a glimpse of something inside. My first thought was one of gross disappointment that someone else had gotten here before me, but my second thought, which occurred only microseconds later, was one of wonder. There was a bundle of cloth with the tell-tale glimmer of blue pushed into the water, which admittedly, did have a yellow tinge. I told myself that it was just gold runoff and grabbed the cloth. It dripped and glimmered asit came free of the toilette. It was longer than expected, and when I finally got it all out, I saw that it was as long as I was tall. Item Received - Cursed Robe of the Lich¡¯s assistant, the evil, but slightly less powerful than the Lich herself, Master of Decrepitation, Bringer of Rot and Taker of Life, SUSAN! ¡°Did Raggy write this shit?¡± I asked the empty bathroom, ¡°gods I hate him.¡± I squinted my eyes in the direction of the annoyingly long name. The rainbow letters dissolved slightly, just enough to float around and solidify into new letters. Item Description - Anything alive within a ten-foot radius of the robe¡¯s wearer will rot. A portion of this lost health is transferred to the wearer. This item is cursed, and will slowly turn the heart of the wearer black. I tossed the robes into my bag, ¡°Perfect for Nikko.¡± Then I finally sat down and clenched my deed muscles. Chapter 23 After my memorable visit with the golden throne, Nikko and I discovered another mimic. It guarded a golden toilette in a large department store on the other side of our soon-to-be fortress. Luckily, this mimic didn¡¯t take the shape of ordinary, everyday objects; only people that were close to us. It ensured that we had to look at our friends in the eyes as we killed them, again and again. But hey, that was better than getting my ass chewed on by a seemingly normal chair right? The object hidden within the mimic¡¯s golden treasure chest, if you could call it that, was a steel helm with a magical effect of reduced concussions. I thought that was the entire point of metal helms to begin with, so after Nikko said no thanks, I tossed it into my bag. We were currently on our way up from the first floor of the mall, our bags filled to the metaphorical brim with looted gear and trap components, when we came across a group of survivors arguing outside the Mattress Firm. They stopped talking as soon as we rounded the escalator and came into view within ten feet of them. It was immediately clear that Nikko¡¯s new area of effect ability from his robe was extremely discomforting to those that didn¡¯t have a magic necklace that constantly healed them; which was essentially, everyone but me. As I looked on their pained and confused expressions, panic pulsed through my body. What if Nikko¡¯s rotting effect is considered an attack on the alliance? When no rainbow letters came to tell me I had unwittingly declared war on the people building my fortress, I let out a sigh of relief. And that was the only sound I made as I walked over to the survivors. I joined their silent huddle, along with Nikko, and stood there, looking everyone in the eye in turns. The growing silence eventually became so awkward that even I was tempted to break it, but I didn¡¯t. I was fully aware of the image they held for me in their heads. The sigh, the silent stare, the fact that I was probably insane, and my dragon. If these two survivors were arguing over anything important, they would tell me out of sheer fear. And just as I began to think they had all bore holes directly through their shoes, and that thier blank stares were now trying to drill into the floor, one of them spoke up. ¡°It¡¯s the Mattress Firm,¡± a man in brand new clothes from the local GAP said, ¡°I claimed it before we even moved down into the second floor, but now he is trying to move in.¡± ¡°You already have a store to live in!¡± a fit man in his late twenties yelled. The well-dressed man laughed, ¡°Hey, it¡¯s not my fault you can¡¯t adapt to the times.¡± At his last words, the man shot me a questioning glare, trying to gauge how I would react. I left my face purposefully blank and turned my head to the younger gentleman. He took the hint and spoke up, ¡°What does that even mean? Even if you claimed the Mattress Firm, which you didn¡¯t, it wouldn¡¯t magically make you CEO of the company. Or wait, that¡¯s what you want isn¡¯t it?¡± The man gave a knowing smile and began ranting about how they should be using the Apocalypse to fix what is wrong with the world and not just continue with all our bad habits from the past. I was planning on dying soon, so I tuned him out and instead, inspected him. Hemtail Clinton - Level 28 Human - Level 4 Barbarian Max Health = 192 Ability One = Berserker¡¯s Rage I was careful not to react to the information as I read it. When I finished, I inspected the man dressed in new clothing. He wore a pair of tan slacks and a blue button up still creased from the way it was folded inside the store it came from. It was an odd outfit for someone to choose, especially when he essentially owned all the clothes in the entire store. Personally, I would have tried out an entirely new style knowing that it wouldn¡¯t cost any money. I certainly would have chosen something more comfortable, at the very least. Rick Blican - Level 43 Human - Level 2 Max Health = 156 ¡°Hey kid,¡± Rick said after stifling an unnatural cough, ¡°Of course I am looking out for Numero Uno. Don¡¯t be mad at me because you just realized everyone would need a mattress to sleep on.¡± He gave another condescending laugh, followed by another fit of coughing. ¡°So you admit it?¡± Hemtail coughed, ¡°You just want this store so you can use the Mattresses to trade, ON TOP OF YOUR ENTIRE STORE OF CLOTHING!?¡± It took every ounce of my willpower to stop the argument before Hemtail could unleash his Berserker¡¯s Rage. I wanted to see it so bad, but I wanted this group of survivors to stay alive more. At least long enough for me to use them as bullet shields for Raggy. As I held my hand up to silence them, a wicked idea spawned in my brain. Actually, it was probably less evil than using my alliance members as bullet shields, but either way, they would still probably die. I shelved the plan for later. ¡°You,¡± I said, pointing to the well-dressed Rick, ¡°You can have the Mattress Firm.¡± Then I pointed to Hemtail as he struggled to control his outrage over the injustice, ¡°And you can come with me.¡± *** Nikko and I sat in our new room situated between the stairwell to the roof and the escalator to the food court. It was about as prime real estate as any, besides the large department stores at each end of the mall. Those have been off-limits to the survivors by decree of the evil overlord, me, until today. In fact, Hemtail was the first survivor granted ownership of the luxury property. Both department stores were the only two locations you could go from the first floor to the second, besides the food court which was in the center of the fortress. I had plans to lock down every stairwell except one, and our Barbarian would guard that in his new, much larger, department store home. Hemtail accepted my offer graciously. I told him that he shouldn''t thank me, but it was clear he thought I was acting magnanimous. I wasn''t. ¡°So let me get this straight,¡± Nikko said from on top the bean bag he looted earlier in the day. I sat in one of those black leather massaging chairs. It didn¡¯t work, but it was still comfortable, and if I shifted my weight just right I could even work out some of the kinks in my back manually. ¡°You want to invite Raggy to the fortress?¡± ¡°I want to make him come here, yes.¡± I said, rubbing my back against the chair like a bear would rub up against a tree to scratch an itch, ¡°We will make it so there is only one entrance into the fortress. Then Raggy will have to walk to the other end of the mall to get to Hemtail¡¯s department store, were the only stairwell to the second floor will be. If he makes it that far, he will have to walk across the entire second floor, go around the food court that we will have blocked off, and circle back around to make it to this room and gain access to the roof, where we will be with the Drade. I will have traps, and of course the alliance members, stationed every-¡± ¡°So you are building an elaborate and dangerous maze for him to walk,¡± Nikko said, interrupting my evil genius-ness. He leaned forward and poked the small fire we had going with a brand new hockey stick, ¡°and if he makes it through, he will fight us.¡± I nodded, ¡°Exactly. The plan relies on two assumptions. One is that Raggy won¡¯t be able to break through Ben¡¯s black metal and take a shortcut. And two, we have to be able to declare war on the alliance, without them ganging up on us.¡± ¡°My shields,¡± Nikko said, picking up on my thought process as he pulled a bit of his robe that twisted underneath his body. Susan¡¯s robe consisted of a grey wool that seemed constantly dirty. On closer inspection, I couldn¡¯t spot any stains or tears, but the idea of it being dirty remained. The effect it gave off was repulsive and nauseating, and even though I wore the Necklace of Healing, it didn¡¯t mean I was immune to all the consequences of being close to Nikko. My health stayed at the same level, but I was still likely to cough now and then. Instead of the two items canceling each other out and me feeling normal, I felt more like I was sick, but on really good painkillers. ¡°Yes,¡± I gave a slow nod, ¡°While Ben completes the fortress, we need to find you some more tattoo ink and a way to harvest skin¡­¡± Nikko matched my slow nod, his face illuminated by the firelight on a backdrop of near pitch blackness. In fact, the only way you could tell the walls of our small temporary room where even there, was by the small purple flecks inside it. If they weren¡¯t there, the black metal would absorb all the light it came across, making moving around the fortress near impossible. Maybe we will snuff out all the torches when the time comes. ¡°Any idea where we can get the ink?¡± I asked.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. ¡°Yea. There should be a Walmart nearby. They don¡¯t have the good stuff, but it will be fine for my Inscriptions. ¡± ¡°Then that will be tomorrow¡¯s mission,¡± I said, leaning back into my massage chair and closing my eyes. ¡°Maybe we will find more treasure filled toilettes too.¡± *** Walmart was busy considering the weather, and the fact that most of the population was undead. Scroungers drove around on battery-powered scooters, honking at each other, putting things into their baskets and then putting them back down in different isles. Light seeped in through a hole in the roof, bits of cement and rubble falling inside and bouncing off cheap shevling or carboard boxes with the appropriate ding or dong. ¡°Well,¡± Nikko said in an amused tone, ¡°At least the Scroungers scared away any potential looters.¡± I sighed, ¡°Yea, but it is going to a bitch to find anything in here.¡± ¡°Better get started then.¡± ¡°Yea, one second,¡± I said, holding out a hand to stop Nikko, ¡°I leveled up and need to choose a new ability.¡± Nikko laughed, pushed through my outstretched arm, and walked off. I shook my head in mocked concern, then summoned the rainbow letters. You have leveled up! Please choose an ability! Inspect Level 3 - Uncovers an additional ability of inspectable creatures. Knock Down 3 - This ability now has an even wider area of effect. Detect Traps - Nearby traps will are highlighted more often. Does no one else use traps, or am I just awful at spotting them? I wondered. Past the rainbow letters, I could see a small caravan of Scooter Scroungers riding after Nikko. He was merely walking down an aisle, but I could tell the chase was no less intense for the creatures. They hooted, hollered, coughed, and honked, leaning forward in their scooters at times as if that would make them faster. Nikko simply took his time browsing the isles, while slowly sucking the life out of the caravan behind him. I refocused my eyes and chose the improved Knock Down ability. ¡°I am going to check the bathroom,¡± I yelled, hands cupped to my mouth, ¡°Then I will make my way to Sporting Goods.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Nikko¡¯s voice rang out from somewhere, ¡°You don¡¯t play any sports.¡± ¡°Ha ha ha,¡± I said, mostly to myself, as I walked behind the registers and followed the sign for the restrooms. As suspected, the bathrooms here were slightly less welcoming than the ones in the expensive department stores at the mall. I kicked in each stall, and when I got to the last one, a sparkly golden throne greeted me. Knowing that it wouldn¡¯t be unguarded, I turned to my left. Raggy was there. ¡°Oh fuck,¡± I grunted, charging. Without thinking, I activated my Knock Down ability before Raggy could load his rifle. Instead of my stomach exploding outward, I began to levitate just above the ground. All within the span of a second, my body curled in on itself, rumbled with power, then exploded outward like a violently blooming flower. Each of my limbs straightened, becoming rigid with the power flowing through them. Orange energy sparked off my right arm, blue from my left, and probably some other colors from my feet as well, but I couldn¡¯t be sure. My world was a cacophony of metal paneling smashing against the tile, ceramic crumbling, and pressurized water shooting into the drop ceiling and pooling above it. One of the air dryers for your hands even managed to turn on momentarily. When my feet touched the ground, I saw Raggy on the floor. I pointed my Katana at him with one hand and my regular flashlight with the other. He was bleeding from his forehead and flat on his back. The broken handcuffs around each of his wrists jingled as he raised his hands to prod his wound. No, not to prod his wound. He was covering his eyes and crying. ¡°Jesus,¡± I scoffed, ¡°What is this now?¡± Previously, the mimics never even made a sound. ¡°I¡­¡± Ragnaros stuttered, his beard quivering with unspoken truths, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I just wanted to be there for you.¡± The mimick¡¯s words filled me with rage. I drove my Katana through the heart of Ragnaros¡¯s camo shirt and twisted. Goldrin barked somewhere. Then the mimick disintegrated. Later on, I would decide that the only reason the mimic died so quickly was that it must have used all of its power to talk to me. That must have been the reason it only turned into one of my acquaintances, instead of many, before finally dying for good. I left the bathroom in a haze and made it halfway to the Sporting Goods section before I realized I had forgotten about the Mimick¡¯s loot. Sighing and turning, I backtracked. Inside the golden water of the golden toilette was another bunch of soppy cloth or leather. I pulled it out and gave it a good twist to get most of the liquid out before opening it up. Hero¡¯s Trench Coat - Grants a minor boost to intelligence. I hung the coat up on the far side of an aisle to dry and set out to clear Ragnaros¡¯s cryptic words from my head. Fortunately for me, I knew just the thing that would do the trick; slaughtering Scroungers and getting more loot. I became a farmer, and human heads became my crop. My Katana and I roamed the store like a glacier; slow, steady, and stomping over anything unlucky enough to get in our way. We separated Scooter Scroungers from their heads, one after the other, with practiced ease. Their bodies continued until their scooters crashed into shelves, walls, and each other with disappointing collisions. They were like ragdolls strapped to toys on wheels. I needed more. I needed something worthy of my blade, and it was clear I wouldn¡¯t find it in Walmart. ¡°I leveled up!¡± Nikko¡¯s voice called out from the maze of shelves and cheap products as I left. I walked over the crosswalk and into the mostly abandoned parking lot. ¡°Avalanche,¡± I said, walking up to my slimy hulk of a creature, ¡°Activate your Lieutenant¡¯s Shout ability, now.¡± The creature tilted his pink fleshy face at me; his cowl lost when we flew on the Drade for the first and only time. His hesitation gnawed at my insides, as did the fact that I was forced to look at his nakedness of both clothes and skin. Does he dare disobey me? He didn¡¯t, but I think a less intelligent version of him would have. The creature looked up to the bland cloud-filled sky and let out a yell so commanding that my anger was replaced with respect. It was a roar to end all roars. It reverberated off of the empty motorhomes in the parking lot, off the walls of the store behind me, and into the neighborhoods beyond. The din of his shout petered out, and rumble took its place. It was the rumble of a dozen houses falling in on themselves. It was the rumble of a thousand lead balls hitting hardwood floors. The noise quickly became physical as the ground beneath me began to quake slightly, only enough to make me question it. Moments later, I was sure of it. Harder and harder the ground trembled, until my knees threatened to buckle. Then, I saw them. Across the parking lot, across the main road, Avalanches left their homes. They broke free of their prisons and stalked over to us. ¡°Stay here,¡± I commanded my pet as I walked to meet the lower ranked Avalanches. My Katana unsheathed, I crossed the parking lot with one thought in mind; to forcefully forget Ragnaros¡¯s words once again. The first Avalanche I met didn¡¯t attack me. I looked up to its cowl and pointed back to the creature under my control, ¡°He is your boss isn¡¯t he? Your senior ranking officer, if you will?¡± The cowl continued to stare, ¡°Take your cowl off,¡± I commanded. The creature obeyed, revealing a freshly skinned face, pieces of black fuzz from his cowl still sticking to the slimy tissue and exposed facial muscles like lint stuck on a scab. I tossed the cowl into my bag so I could give it to my pet later. ¡°And your pants, come on now.¡± I waited impatiently as the creature awkwardly undressed. The anger bubbling inside me simmered down as I waited, but that fact just made me angrier, so there was no net loss in unpredictable emotions on my part. Other Avalanches joined us. The creature closest to me finished, and I tossed the rest of his outfit into my bag with trembling fingers. Gathering all my anger and depression and insanity together, I packed it into an even tighter compartment, squeezed it until was too much to contain, then released it with a strike of my Katana. A gutteral roar escaped me, ¡°AAAAAAAHHH!" The top half of the naked Avalanche slide from his bottom half and toppled to the ground, his hands searching the air for something that would support him on his way down. I climbed onto his prone body and pointed an angry finger across the parking lot behind me. I yelled, ¡°YOU STAY THERE!¡± My Semi-Intelligent Avalanche stopped half-running in my direction and paused to watch his subordinates die. They were not as intelligent as their commander, and when they saw me attack one of their brethren, they made the mistake of fighting back. The fire inside me burned anew. Spiked lead balls blotted out the sky, but they would find no organic material to land on. I pushed my burgeoning muscles to their absolute limit, then used pure emotion to push them further. Four large Avalanches fell to my fury before the other six of them could organize. They surrounded me, all of them wary, but none of them smart enough to flee. My chest heaved as I watched them box me in. Then, my feet came off the ground. I gathered everything I had left inside me, and my body curled in on itself. Sadness, helplessness, sorrow for those that I lost, the melancholy feeling I got when I looked forward to my bleak, video game filled life; I harnessed it all. And with a roar to rival all others, I exploded. Orange electricity shot from my right hand, and blue from my left. The air around me darkened momentarily and everything fell, including me. I dropped to my knees, staring at the pavement, my breath ragged and heavy. There was a small green vine forcing its way through a crack in the asphalt. I felt the creatures around me getting to their feet as I regarded the small, determined plant. I wondered why it didn¡¯t give up. I wondered how, with so little prospects and things to look forward to, the plant kept pushing on, kept reaching for the sun that was no longer there. I stared at it for what felt like an eternity, the only thing in my mind being, how? How does it keep growing, when the whole world seems to be pushing it back down. Then it hit me. The plant didn¡¯t care for the obstacles in its way. It didn¡¯t care that it had to first force its way through a layer of concrete, when other plants just down the road flourished in lush, if not slightly polluted, soil. It had one goal, which was to live. I had one goal too, but mine was to kill. Mine was to kill Ragnaros, the orchestrator of all my problems. ¡°Enough,¡± I said, holding up a hand. The jingling of chains abated, and I left, leaving the creatures alone to do whatever they wanted. I tossed my Avalanche the clothes from my bag as I passed, ¡°Get dressed ya slob... I love ya, but your birthday suit is worse than mine.¡± Chapter 24 Nikko met me by the cash registers, ¡°Where¡¯d you go dummy?¡± He asked, smiling. There was something off about him. It took my brain a second to realize what it was. He was transparent. I was looking at him, but I could also make out the glass case of cheap watches and rings directly behind him. I was taken aback, ¡°What the hell happened!?¡± Nikko laughed and waved my concern away, ¡°Ah, it''s just an ability. A new one. Its called Ethereal, and it increases my movement speed and reduces the physical damage I take.¡± ¡°But at what cost?¡± I asked. He shrugged, ¡°Just a little bit of my life every second, but that shouldn¡¯t be a problem with my robes. If I am around enemies, I could keep it activated almost constantly.¡± I let out a breath of air I didn¡¯t know I was holding, ¡°Oh, so you can shut it off?¡± ¡°Yea.¡± I shook my head, ¡°Good, but you should still be careful. You¡¯re turning into a real Lich, with the robes and the see-through-ness and all.¡± ¡°You know I don¡¯t know what the fuck a Lich is man,¡± Nikko said, annoyed. I turned in the direction of my drying trench coat and motioned for Nikko to follow, ¡°Well you should - because you are one.¡± Nikko cautiously deactivated his ability when I looked away and I grabbed my trenchcoat. It was still damp, but I was feeling empty and cold from my encounter in the parking lot, so I put it on anyway. My world lit up with a dozen different colors and a paragraph of text. Congratulations! Hero¡¯s Armor Set Completed! ? Hero¡¯s Katana ? Hero¡¯s Fedora ? Hero¡¯s Trench Coat Set Bonus - Prepared for life¡¯s challenges +100 Hitpoints. +10% Physical damage resistance. +10% Initiative from Hero¡¯s Katana. +10% Resist Peer Pressure from Hero¡¯s Fedora. +10% Intelligence from Hero¡¯s Trench Coat. ¡°Holy shit,¡± I said as I read the prompts. Nikko raised a questioning eyebrow, so I read them out loud for him. ¡°Yea, so, we need to find you a set of armor too.¡± Nikko nodded with his eyes wide open, ¡°Sure. I¡¯ll just wear Susan¡¯s entire outfit.¡± It took me a second to pick up on his sarcasm, but then I remembered the long name of his robe, and couldn¡¯t help but chuckle a bit. ¡°You laugh, but Susan was a obviously a boss.¡± ¡°No, she was the assistant.¡± ¡°Yea, yea, alright negative Nancy,¡± I said dismissively, ¡°Did you find your tattoo ink?¡± ¡°Yea. I am good to go,¡± Nikko tapped the outside of a few different hidden pockets of his robe, then nodded. We left the WalMart and began the twenty-minute journey back to the mall. We made pit stops in the stores of the smaller shopping plazas as we went, checking for treasure toilettes or sources of canned food. We did find some food, but arguably more important, at least to me; we also found a motorcycle shop where I looted a full face helmet. It had a clear visor that I could put up or down, a strap that buckled around my chin so it wouldn¡¯t fly off in the wind or knock off my head if I fell, and a flame paint job. That last bit was the best part, but only because I would be riding a dragon when I wore it. Otherwise, painted on flames were never my style. I didn¡¯t think they were anyones style in the first place, but I wasn¡¯t really qualified to hold such an opinion. At least, that was what Nikko said as he rode next to me and Avalanche on his new electric motorcycle, complete with a flaming paint job. We approached our mall and saw Ben, guarded by a handful of survivors. His hands were in the air, manipulating something only he could see. I was familiar with his process and knew that he was using his builder ability. With a snap of his fingers, the construction only he could see just moments ago, appeared. It was a tremendous support beam that resembled a leg of the Eiffel tower, only made out of much stronger metal. ¡°He¡¯s finally building your roost,¡± Nikko said over the soft hum of his motorcycle. ¡°About time,¡± I said from Avalanches shoulders. The roost I had commissioned from Ben shortly after acquiring the Drade consisted of a large bowl on the roof of the mall. It seemed simple in theory. All he had to do was add a new roof onto the guard platforms since they wouldn¡¯t be necessary with my Drade patrolling the air, and then build a giant metal nest on top. It would create an entirely new floor for Nikko and me. The only problem was that the bowl was extremely heavy, as was the massive creature that would sleep in it. Because of this, Ben had to rebuild the mall from the ground up and then some. The fact that he was now working on the ¡®and then some¡¯ portion meant that he had finished re-building and securing the first floor of the fortress.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°About time?¡± Nikko asked, dumbfounded, ¡°He can build Rome in a day.¡± We caught up to Ben and his squad of severely under-leveled and under-geared guards by the spot I usually parked Avalanche. ¡°Hey Ben,¡± I said as I walked over to join them, ¡°Is it too much trouble for you to remove that ramp I requested? I think you were right; it was a terrible idea.¡± The crowd was taken aback by my pleasant words. Ben stuttered, ¡°I.. I.. Uh, No, it¡¯s no trouble.¡± Then he walked over to the ramp, manipulated the air with his hands, and snapped his fingers. The ramp was gone as if it had never been there in the first place. Shit, he can undo all this with a simple flick of his wrist. ¡°Wow,¡± I said, summoning all the enthusiasm I could muster, ¡°What a great skill that is, truly. We are going to go far together.¡± I took his hand in my own and shook it. I could feel Nikko¡¯s disapproval burning a hole in my back. It was almost as tangible as his deathly aurora. The other survivors noticed my strange change in behavior as well and wore appropriately confused expressions. Ben began to chuckle and smile and cough, ¡°Well thanks man!" another cough, "I think so too.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, gesturing to my forehead, ¡°I almost forgot. I got you something.¡± I pulled out the Steel Helm of Reduced Concussions from my bag and handed it to him. ¡°Woaa,¡± he gasped, ¡°Thanks!¡± He pulled me in for a hug. I let it happen. Although I didn¡¯t admit it, the human contact was rather nice. Laughing nervously, I said, ¡°Hey, don¡¯t mention it.¡± Then I turned to his small group of guards, ¡°I will keep an eye out for gear for all of you as well. In fact, you are all welcome to come on our next supply run. It might be worth it for the experience alone.¡± The group¡¯s confused expression turned to a wary one. I spread my hands and pointed both palms at them, ¡°Just putting the option on the table. Come or don¡¯t come - I just want to help.¡± *** ¡°What was that all about?¡± Nikko asked as we passed the new, secured entrance of the fortress. The previous glass paneled doors were completely replaced with thick black metal doors that were be triple barred from the inside. Ben even went as far as to construct pillars and barriers on the outside landing before the door, so that you had to walk in a tight zig zag pattern before you even approached them. I imagined this was to prevent any potential enemies from driving a heavy electric vehicle right through our defenses. ¡°What?¡± I asked, ¡°Me being nice?¡± ¡°Nice?¡± he scoffed, ¡°It looked like you wanted to suck him off.¡± We passed by a newly converted thrift store as we walked. All of its signage and windows were replaced with metal, as were all of its walls. A thin but volatile cloud of burnt nylon hung to the ceiling while the poor choice of torch material dripped to the floor in regular splatters. I walked into the cloud and immediately double over. After my fit of coughing, made worse by Nikko¡¯s Rot aurora, I looked around to see if anyone could overhear us. No one was around, but I was paranoid, so I didn¡¯t reply to Nikko until we got to our temporary room. We had to walk the entire length of the mall to get there, since the food court escalator and the hole it feed into was completely sealed. But Nikko realized that I did have a serious response to his prodding, so he refrained from teasing me any further. ¡°So,¡± I said as Nikko closed our door behind us. ¡°Ben can undo all of his construction in a second. You saw him remove the ramp right? That was two stories of heavy metal and its supporting structure, gone with the snap of his fingers. That is why I was being nice to him.¡± ¡°Yea, yea,¡± he replied with a dismissive wave before falling into his beanbag, ¡°I figured as much when you didn¡¯t answer me. What I don¡¯t understand is why we don¡¯t just kill him once the roost is complete.¡± I sat down carefully in my massage chair and sighed, ¡°I thought about that. And besides it feeling wrong to me, I don¡¯t think it is a good idea. The rest of the survivors will revolt if we attack him.¡± ¡°We are going to attack him to summon Ragnaros anyway.¡± ¡°Right, but only after you inscribe shields over everyone''s door. Once you do that, and we declare war on them, they will be trapped within the shields and unable to rebel.¡± Nikko nodded, ¡°So we will kill him once the shields are installed and the roost is complete. Are we sure the shields will even hold them?¡± I considered this for a moment, ¡°No, but I think it will hold them long enough.¡± I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees, ¡°So it will go like this. The fortress is 100% complete, traps and all. We will attack someone to declare war when everybody is sleeping in their stores, or I guess they are just homes now...¡± I shook my head, ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. We will declare war when they are sleeping. No one will be able to attack us for a while since they will be asleep and won¡¯t see the notification or they will be trapped behind the shields for a bit. Raggy will come, the front door will be open. He will be forced to walk through every floor of the mall to get to us, and hopefully, the traps I will station everywhere will kill him before he gets too far. If they don¡¯t, then we will kill him.¡± ¡°Or flee on your Dragon,¡± he added flatly. ¡°No,¡± I said looking up from my feet, ¡°That isn¡¯t an option. At least not for me it isn¡¯t.¡± Nikko gave a solemn nod. ¡°And no, I don¡¯t think we should kill anyone. Just a simple punch should be enough to declare war. Maybe we can just imprison Ben somewhere though. That way Raggy can¡¯t torture him into deleting the fortress.¡± ¡°Sure,¡± Nikko replied, ¡°I can handle that part.¡± I sighed, ¡°Thanks. I just really don¡¯t feel comfortable killing anyone. Even though I know Raggy will probably kill them all on his way through. I don¡¯t know¡­ Maybe he won''t,¡± I let out another sigh, fell back into my chair, and closed my eyes. I contemplated my values, everyone I killed to get where I was, and if I was a hypocrite or not. Sleep took me before I could settle on a definite answer, or at least, before I could admit one to myself. Chapter 25 My nerves served as an effective alarm clock and ensured I woke up before anyone else. If everything went according to plan, Raggy would be dead before the next time I went to sleep. And if it didn¡¯t, well; I would be dead and wouldn¡¯t care. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and leaned forward in the massage chair. I looked over the side, spotted my backpack, grabbed it, then headed for the door, careful not to wake Nikko. The inner hall of the fortress was vast, poorly lit, and empty. I took in a breath of the nylon laced air. Ah, a beautiful start to the night. Spreading out all the various hardware and tools Ihad gathered along my journey, I estimated that I could put ten traps of increasing damage on each level of the mall. Nikko and I¡¯s temporary room would be Raggy¡¯s final stop before he got to the top of the fortress, so I wanted to put my strongest traps there. They would be my last line of defense before my Katana. A minute later I had two menacing traps stationed by this door. An entire two hours later, I had the whole mall, besides the unfinished roof, littered with my defenses. I had enough materials left in my bag to install some traps on the roof, but I wanted to wait until Ben finished building the roost so I can see where the smartest place to put them would be. Nikko met me by the secured entrance to the fortress just in time, ¡°Goodnight,¡± he said, by way of greeting. I laughed, ¡°So far so good. You ready to go out and harvest some skin?¡± I asked in a low whisper. Ben was out and about, as were many of the other alliance members. They set up stands inside the fortress and yelled across the hall at each other, trying to find the best people to trade with. Each of them had a store to live in and ownership of all its contents, minus the items Nikko and I looted. They all did their best to acquire all the things they would need for a new life. Mattresses traded for clothes and candles. Furniture traded for tools or unique display racks. Food and water traded for everything. ¡°Yea, I¡¯m ready.¡± He said, leading me out the guarded door and to the parking lot. We found his motorcycle and my skinless companion a short walk later. I climbed on top of Avalanche and gave a loud whistle. ¡°Are you riding with me, or¡­¡± ¡°Fuck that,¡± Nikko said as he threw a leg over his motorcycle. ¡°I will meet you by the old Tattoo parlor.¡± I shook my head, ¡°I actually wanted to go further out.¡± Nikko looked at me, and I gave him a wink, letting him know that we shouldn¡¯t discuss this so close to the fortress. He mulled his thoughts over for a second then nodded. ¡°Meet me on the edge of the city. I want to see where my dragon came from, just in case there is-¡± A violent rush of air washed the words from my mouth as the Drade finally answered my whistle. I bear hugged Avalanche¡¯s head and tucked my own to guard against the onslaught of wind from the landing beast. Through the hole in my arms, I could see Nikko struggling not to drop his bike. The surge of air finally ended with a brief quake. That portion of my Dragon landing didn¡¯t affect me much, but it made it impossible for Nikko to keep his bike upright. ¡°Goddamnit,¡± he said, buffing out the scratches of his flame paint job as he stood his motorcycle upright again, ¡°I just got this thing¡­¡± I turned to the open parking lot behind me and regarded my red scaled Drade. Unlike the Dragons I was familiar with from movies and games, the Drade didn¡¯t have any obvious weak points. Its large wings were scaled, just like the rest of its body, including its stomach. Its long neck didn¡¯t have any ridges or spikes and its face didn¡¯t have any defining features either. It was just one huge mass of red scales. Even it¡¯s claws and teeth were red, but it was quite possible they were just stained with blood. The Drade regarded me with its eyeless head, causing me to gulp and don my full face helmet. ¡°Alright,¡± I said, mentally navigating Avalanche over to the Drade, ¡°Meet you on the outskirts of the city. I¡¯ll try to keep track of you from above, just in case you run into trouble.¡± ¡°Yea, fine,¡± Nikko said, still fussing over the scratches on his new ride. When I got close to the Drade it consumed my entire field of vision. I realized that without Avalanche I would never be able to own such a companion. It was just too large to climb on my own and its two clawed arms were too short for it to toss me onto it¡¯s back. Up, I thought to Avalanche. He immediately brought his chains in line behind him. Then he shortened his grip on them, bringing the spiked lead balls closer and tossing them all into the air. They flew almost completely vertical for a second before disappearing over the mountain of red. Then I felt my body lurch upward as Avalanche climbed. When we got to our position on the Drade¡¯s back, Avalanche gingerly grabbed me from his shoulders and sat me in front of him. Then he re-tossed a few chains around our laps to secure us in position. I gave a nod to Nikko and waited for him to drive off. Once he was out of sight, I gritted my teeth and gave the mental command to fly. I was immediately pushed into hard scales and already thankful for my helmet. Although it did stop my face from getting bruised against the Drades hard surface, it didn¡¯t do much to help the fact that Avalanche¡¯s weight was pressing on me from above. The helpless feeling of being squished by gravity and a skinless beast reversed. Now the only pain I felt was from the chains digging into my legs as my body threatened to float off into the sky. Holy shit, I thought, finally able to sit up straight and look around. The clouds in the sky were brighter than everywhere else, as if the moonlight lingered inside them. I could see the city¡¯s skyline ahead of us, but not much more of the ground. The Drade¡¯s torso was too thick for me to look over, so most of my view was of a red-scaled Dragon neck, a partially illuminated sky full of grey, and far-away portions of the Earth¡¯s horizon. I did a quick check of my chains, then ordered my Drade to tilt, just enough for me to see below us. He did so and the chains around my legs went taut. I grabbed them with my right hand and leaned left, just enough to see the road. Nikko was below us a little ways back, speeding down a highway and dodging abandoned cars like someone that spent a huge portion of their life on two wheels, or had nothing left to live for. I ordered my mount to straighten up, and checked on him periodically as my thoughts drifted. Ben is a nice dude, I thought from my throne in the sky. Why am I the one that decides if he gets to live or die. Why do I get to decide if they all die or not. What gives me the right to sacrifice them, even if it¡¯s for the greater good? I am no better than Ragnaros. My thoughts continued to betray me as we glided toward the city. They were subversive, trying to overthrow my plan, but no matter how much I doubted myself, I couldn¡¯t come up with something better. Can I just tell them all to flee after I declare war on them? It wouldn¡¯t matter, Ragnaros will still hunt them down. What if I told them of the plan before I declared war? No, they would refuse to fight and probably kick me out. ¡°This is the best way,¡± I told myself. The future consequences of my plan and the cold night air both cut into my body and chilled me to the bone. I shivered and repeated, ¡°It¡¯s the only way. The only way to defeat him.¡± Over and over. I looked down to my frightening friend as he ate up the road below me and wondered if he doubted himself as well. Then I shook my head. No, not Nikko. We landed on the outskirts of the faraway city after only a few minutes in the air. The landing was just as violent and uncomfortable as take-off. By the time my feet finally touched the Earth, my legs were shaky and I no longer held the opinion that flying a dragon was awesome. I looked around. We landed on a major highway just before it entered the cement forest of tall buildings and block-wide apartment complexes. I peered down the road behind me, looking for Nikko. There was no sign of him. I considered hoping back on the Drade, but the chain-shaped bruises on my legs suggested otherwise. After a few minutes, a dark silhouette appeared further down the road. I watched it approach and welcomed my friend with a wave as he got within range. Nikko levered his kickstand with a kick and dismounted. ¡°We have some Scroungers coming our way. A lot of them.¡± I nodded and gestured behind me. My Drade took off with a surge of air that threatened to strip off my trench-coat and knock over Nikko¡¯s bike again. I waited for more dark figures to appear down the road, then I gestured to my Drade once again. Seconds later, a deafening clap reached my ears and the figures disappeared. Before my flying mount could land, I gave him the mental order to patrol the air above us. Then we entered the city. If anyone lived in there, they didn¡¯t make their presence known. We passed empty building after empty building in an eerie silence. Occasionally, we would pass a neon sign or two, but no gangs came out to greet us as we walked through their territory. Either we were too quiet, or everyone was hiding from the monstrosity that loomed above. I had to believe it was the second option, mostly because Nikko made a point to make more noise when we passed the illuminated signs. ¡°What are we looking for again?¡± Nikko asked in a frustrated tone born of boredom. ¡°That,¡± I said, pointing to a pile of rubble up ahead. We jogged down the road and began climbing the pile. It was a mixture of broken cement, office equipment, and daily routines that failed when the building did. We navigated four more such piles, all of them chock full of dodgy footing and promises of twisted ankles. When we reached the crater in the ground at the center of the destroyed buildings, my gut wrenched in shame. I was expecting to see a dragon egg or another magical treasure chest of loot, or anything really. Instead, there was nothing but disturbed dirt and crumbled pavement. I was searching for legendary loot again. Desperately searching for something that would make me feel complete. As I stared into the empty pit, I realized no amount of loot would fill the pit inside me. My Grandmother¡¯s words came to mind. I can try, she told me the second time I summoned her with my thigh master and berated her for information. I don¡¯t have all the answers you seek, but I have all the answers you need. You need to make a decision. Will you wage war among the other parties of survivors for legendary rewards, or will you fight straight to the source of your problems? The answers hidden in her words were clear now. I wasted my time searching for loot before the rainbow letters came, and I was doing the same now.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. *** I mounted my Drade and flew off in a rage. Nikko had tried to comfort me, but it was no use. He wasn¡¯t a particularly kind friend, but he was a friend all the same. It was too bad I didn¡¯t need comforting. What I really needed was a swift smack upside the head. I should have told Nikko that. Maybe then I would drop my obsession for treasure, and maybe then I would realize I was already prepared to face the orchestrator of my problems, Ragnaros. I had an entire set of gear with an awesome set bonus. I flew around on a literal dragon, and when he wasn¡¯t around, a mean skinless beast with chains and a squad of demons protected me. I also had the support of an unlikely friend, which was more than I ever thought to ask for. There was no amount of magical items or pets that could prepare me further. It was time. Nikko drove below me as we both surged down the road between us and our destiny. Avalanche held a dead Scrounger for us to skin. As soon as we landed, the shields would go up and it would be time to declare war on the Alliance and summon Raggy. I was more than mentally prepared at the moment. The only thing holding me back was the plan. This dissonance between what I thought I was ready for, and what I was actually prepared for filled me with fits of wrath. It is time. It is time. I told myself that over an over, hoping it would calm my frenzy, but it didn¡¯t. That was why when we approached the fortress and were shot down by the Chrystal cannon, I was more than prepared to unleash some justice. My Drade fell to the energetic blast like a plane with flaming engines. Except there was no flame, only a long trail of blood in the sky. It followed us to the wreckage of scales burnt by the crystal energy. I climbed from my dead Drade like a Phoenix reborn, no longer weighed down by the morals of betraying the alliance. ¡°You cowards!¡± I howled, baring my blade and my teeth. ¡°Come and fight!¡± I untangled my feet from Avalanche''s chains and stalked toward the towering black fortress. ¡°These walls will not keep you from me!¡± I seethed. The rainbow letters alerting me of the Alliance¡¯s dissolution intruded into my rage tinted vision. I smacked them away with an arm. They shattered against my dead Drade in a shower of bright colors. Ragnaros, I thought, if I fight them he won¡¯t come. A fire burned inside me, and the realization that I was again powerless to my plan was like jet fuel. ¡°What happened!?¡± Nikko asked after skidding his motorcycle to a halt. He tossed a leg over and took two heavy steps to my side. ¡°They killed the Drade with the cannon,¡± I cringed, ¡°I should have noticed something was up.¡± I pointed to the top of the fortress. They didn¡¯t even try to build the roost. They must have been planning this for a while now. ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHH,¡± I screamed, letting the fire inside me breathe a little. Nikko moved to bang on the door, but his powerful punches failed to even make a sound against the airtight black metal. I looked around and my gaze settled upon the mass of red behind me. ¡°Can you heal the Drade?¡± I asked. Nikko shook his head but tried anyway. Light washed over the scales, eliciting an ear-shattering wail. Avalanche''s gloved hand exploded from the wreckage and flailed around like a pained worm from the Earth. ¡°Stop it.¡± The golden light of Nikko¡¯s healing spell dispersed and Avalanche calmed. ¡°Your magic damages him. Come on, let¡¯s pull him out. Maybe he can get us inside.¡± It was no use. My semi-intelligent companion was as good as encased in stone, and we didn¡¯t have any jackhammers handy. The best we could do was move the Dragon¡¯s heavy tail and uncover Avalanche¡¯s hooded head. I stood above it, gritted my teeth, and without any words of farewell, slid my blade through the top of him. His violent wriggling only lasted a second. A venomous sigh escaped my mouth as I climbed down from the wreckage, my blade whipping blood and un-dead brain matter around as I did so. Then I saw it ¡ª the Orchestrator of the Rainbow Letters. I shoved Nikko behind the far corner of the fortress and followed after him. I pressed my back against the wall, Katana out front and pointed down. ¡°I didn¡¯t think he would come so soon,¡± I said. Realization dawned on Nikko and the anger visible on his face when I shoved him was replaced with contentment. ¡°So it is time.¡± He muttered to himself. ¡°Fuck,¡± I whispered, noticing for the that another small army of Scroungers followed Nikko from the highway. They were close. I shoved Nikko again and he fell to the ground. I took his place and with a downward chop, cut a Scrounger in half the long way. More came, and I unleashed the eternal flame burning inside me. No amount of Scrounger could stop me, and yet, it was impossible for me to kill them all in one burst without my dragon. They swarmed us. Nikko activated his ghost form, causing his health to refill at a rate proportional to the enemies around him. I could hear Ragnaros talking as I cut down one normal looking human after the other. ¡°Headquarters, this is FreeBird10, over,¡± Ragnaros said. ¡°HQ, do you copy?¡± I sliced and chopped, and eventually, someone must have gotten back to Raggy. ¡°I request an immediate air strike to coordinates one, eight, tango, seven, zero, tree, two, fower, tree, zero, eight, niner, won¡­¡± He continued on. Moments later, my teeth were set on edge. A flying object pierced the sky with the wail of a thousand tortured souls. It was red, but not the reflective red of my Drade¡¯s scales, but the deep blood red of Demons. ¡°Hey!¡± A thin voice rang from somewhere above me. I recognized it as Snarky Demon. He must have been trapped on top of the fortress. ¡°I¡¯m here, I¡¯m here! Take me with yo-¡± his pleas were cut short, drowned out by the wail of the demonic vessel in the sky. It was almost as large as my Drade once was, and was shaped like a horizontal figure eight, with dangerous looking spikes protruding from its outside edges. The vessel paused in mid-air, then a black spike coalesced in one of the holes in the figure. Without notice, it shot toward the ground like a demon¡¯s ranged attack and impacted the door. I was deaf. Everything was blurry or covered in dust. My body moved on its own accord. Slowly, very slowly, I realized the Scroungers were eating me alive. My feet left the ground, as did another war cry, although I couldn''t hear it. Orange energy left my right arm and blue from my left. It sparked across the silent dust cloud, illuminating foreign faces, teeth, blood, legs, and pieces of clothing. When my knockdown ability finished, the air around me was clear. Clear of Scroungers, clear of dust, and clear of Nikko. ¡°I¡¯m going in!¡± Nikko¡¯s voice called from behind me. I turned to face it and caught the back of my friend disappear into the purple flecked surface of the Fortress. His ethereal ability, I thought. I ran around the corner and to the front of the fortress. Ragnaros¡¯s Air Strike had completely demolished the front door, but now the entrance was blocked by a solid wall of demon scales. I didn¡¯t have time to contemplate if Ragnaros was actually a demon or not. My one and only friend was trapped inside the Fortress with my one and only enemy. My fire began to sputter out. I forcefully fed it with every memory I had locked away until it was a raging pier once again. My chest rose quickly and fell violently. My fingers were numb from squeezing the hilt of my Katana. The flame escaped my body through each cut and scrape and burned me with pain on the way out. ¡°Milton,¡± a feminine voice whispered from behind me. I stopped banging on the wall of red and turned. Lorelei was there, smiling. Her blond hair seemed to glow and sparkle in the perpetual twilight. The sight of her beautiful face and welcoming eyes would have made me melt if the rage inside me hadn¡¯t long since run away, like a diesel engine that got too hot and could only be shut off by stuffing a t-shirt into the air intake. I ignored her and continued attacking the door. I would get in no matter what, even if it took a thousand years. I would be the water droplet that eroded the mountain if I needed to be. ¡°Bork,¡± ¡°No,¡± I grunted with a shake of my head. My knuckles were bloody now. ¡°Milton,¡± Lorelai called, this time a touch of concern coating her words. ¡°We are here, truly. Not for long, but I promise you we are not an illusion.¡± ¡°Bork!¡± Goldrin confirmed excitedly. The barking of my eldest companion stirred something in me and I reeled on them, exploding, ¡°WHAT!¡± Lorelai smiled again and Goldrin waggled his tail, then turned twice, trying to catch it. ¡°What do you want. Why are you here?¡± I corrected myself. ¡°Two things Milton. Two things,¡± Lor said. My eyes became impatient. ¡°You need to learn balance, my friend.¡± I showed her my back and began smashing my fists into the makeshift door again. ¡°You have stopped yourself from feeling for so long, now you are out of control. All that pent up anger and sadness has spoiled inside you. It has poisoned you from the inside out.¡± ¡°SO what!¡± I yelled over my shoulder. ¡°So what? So what!?¡± Her hand was on my shoulder now. ¡°Milton, that is everything. That is what this is all about.¡± Her words caught me and I turned, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her violently, ¡°What do you know? Where did you go when you died!? WHAT IS ALL THIS!¡± Lorelai¡¯s feet sparked orange and she kicked away from me, falling gracefully to her feet 10 paces away. ¡°It is hard to explain where I went, but you will learn soon.¡± A piece of the love I carried for her broke free from my grasp and shown on my face. ¡°Do not worry about me. The afterlife isn¡¯t bad. It isn¡¯t good either. Just different. But you need to worry about you right now. That is why we are here. To support you.¡± I took a deep, long breath, ¡°Can you help me get inside then?¡± Lorelai gave a shy smile and shook her head, ¡°I cannot open the door, but I think I can help you open it. Milton, you need to agree to change, to become something more. You need to accept that change wholeheartedly, and the good and bad that comes along with it. If you do that, then I can help you.¡± I said I agreed, and deep down I meant it. I truly meant it. Lorelai bowed, ¡°Very well,¡± she said. Then my world came alive with color. Milton - Level 27 Human - Level 10+ Knight Max Health - 1,666 Ability One - White Mount Ability Two - Joust Ability Three - The Matrix 2 Ability Four - Knock Down 3 Ability Five - Inspect 1 Ability Six - Parry Missiles Ability Seven - Power Punch I felt my body grow stronger as I realized the change affected my class. My muscles bulged, as did the veins inside them. The thin layer of fat underneath most of my skin evaporated. My portly gut was still there, but instead of Trench Coat hiding it, now there was thick metal plating. It was silver and etched with battles from some far away fantasy. I felt my arm tug downward as my Katana grew. It¡¯s thin blade widened, and its tip grew out before me. It was heavy now, but manageable if I used two hands. I gave it a few practice swings and decided that was all the familiarization I needed. ¡°Go,¡± Lorelai cried, ¡°GO NOW!¡± I turned, just in time to see Nikko¡¯s body spatter at my feet with a wet thud. I knew this was coming. After everything that had happened so far, how could I not? I turned to Loralai one last time. She was crying enough for both of us. Then I activated two abilities at once: White Mount and Joust. My feet left the ground, but this time I did not float. Instead, I was lifted by a horse. Now I sat on its back, my Bastard Sword transformed into a long metal lance. I grabbed the leather reigns that lay on coarse white hair before me, then kicked my heels into the muscled beast between my legs. We lurched forward, hopping over Nikko¡¯s oddly positioned body. My lance lowered just before we impacted the door at a dizzying clip. I blinked as I was tossed backward landing on my feet. My sword was back and the horse was gone. Now there was an arm-sized hole in the red-scaled door. It was enough for me to get my hands into and pry apart the other scales. A wet film connected them. It was as strong as thick plastic, but I tore at it all the same. A frenzied few seconds later, my forearm muscles were useless and I was crawling into the fortress. All the traps I had laid earlier that night were there to greet me. Chapter 26 - THE END Luckily, the first of my traps were the weakest. This fact gave me time to get acquainted with my new class, and the abilities that came with it. I no longer had any Hunter class abilities, but those were suited for long range combat. I wanted to get up close and personal with Raggy, so the change suited my mood. My Matrix ability was the same, as I learned from a particularly annoying trap consisting of a case of BB bullets and a small firecracker. My new Parry Missiles ability allowed me to parry the next trap, which consisted of my remaining stash of fireworks. They shot at me with mocking whistles and trails of colorful sparks, only to meet the flat of my Bastard Sword and reflect into a wall where they either died or continued on behind me. This ability was more like a skill than anything. I felt myself getting better after each dodged missile. By the time I got to a trap that shot out flaming hockey sticks and other sports equipment at me, I was skilled enough with the Bastard Sword to deflect the occasional missile back to its source. I entered the department store that I gifted to the Barbarian. He was there, guarding the store, no doubt by orders from Raggy. I stalked toward him as he stood between me and the only stairwell to the second floor. I didn¡¯t care if he wanted to fight or flee, but I wasn¡¯t going to slow. When I got thirty paces from him, he made his intentions clear. ¡°STOP!¡± he yelled with an outstretched palm. It was trembling with fear. ¡°Or I will stop you by force.¡± I realized then that his hands weren¡¯t trembling for fear, it was barely contained anger racking his body. I smiled, ¡°So I will get to see your Berserker¡¯s Rage after all.¡± Hemtail began to grimace as his body convulsed. Then the air around him pulsed with red. It was as if the fire inside his body was actually allowed to leave, unlike mine. The air around me grew dry, then he screamed. His cry filled every corner of the wide open department store, bounced off walls, doubled up on itself and grew to a low rumble. Still, I stalked forward. Actual flames began to burst off his skin and lick the air. I walked faster. He flexed his chest muscles, ripping his shirt. Now he was something other than human, something bigger. He was rage incarnate. I picked up my pace until I was running. Five paces where between us. I activated my first two abilities simultaneously, just as I did to pierce the demon hide door. My lance skewered Hematil in the heart, and I carried his limp body with me as my mount galloped to the stairwell. With a suaveness unfamiliar to me, I de-activated both abilities and lightly stepped free of my mount as it disappeared. Disappointing, I thought of the Berserker¡¯s Rage, but if anything, Hemtail did the opposite of slow me down. My new white mount ability had a five-minute cooldown. I used it to travel down the hall of the second floor when I could, but I never made it far. The traps here were much stronger, and I was brought to a complete halt only six stores in. ¡°Fuck,¡± I said, realizing that my new abilities wouldn¡¯t be much help now. I was forced to lean on my plate armor and high health levels. Trap after trap, I endured unending pain as I walked through fire, magic mists, and rapidly growing vines as I tried to disassemble the traps from up close. My beautifully etched silver armor was now charred and black. Any exposed skin was burnt to a crisp. It hurt to walk, it hurt to see, and it hurt to hear. Pain was life now, and life was pain. I passed the sealed away food court and turned the corner at a snail¡¯s pace. Every step I took was a thousand year war. Every breath I stole entered my chemically burnt lungs like pure menthol. I fell to a knee and winced as my charred flesh crunched under my weight. Looking up, I could see the door to my temporary room. I was so close to reaching the roof, but the fire inside me was gone. I fell forward and placed one hand on the ground. My senses were haywire. Vision blurred and my hearing played tricks. I heard whispers from my past, whispers from Grandma. I looked behind my heavy body and swore something was stalking me in the shadows of the makeshift torches. But the pain, it encompassed my entire world. It was a struggle to focus and even to breathe. My head was as light as a feather, and yet my strong neck could barely keep it steady. ¡°C¡¯mon Fat Ass,¡± A voice said as a hand landed on my shoulder. I cringed at the contact expecting pain, but it never came. The hand was ghostly. ¡°Agh, N.. Nikko.¡± ¡°Shut up,¡± He replied, then walked around my body, which was now on all fours. He crouched to look me in the eye and I did my best to meet his gaze. His face swayed before me. ¡°Don¡¯t talk. Don¡¯t think and don¡¯t even feel. You have one goal now, one mission. You¡¯re only purpose in life is to get your fat as up and meet Ragnaros. Do you understand?¡± I did my best to block out everything. I focused on nothing other than Ragnaros¡¯s camouflaged face and what I needed to do to punch it until he broke. Gritting my teeth, I brought one foot out in front of me, then activated the tried and true, one-hand-on-your-knee-the-other-hand-grabbing-anything-that-will-support-you method of standing. My body quivered and convulsed, but for the most part, I stood upright. Nikko was gone. ¡°Th-thank you,¡± I told the air, my voice trembling. Shivers left me in an almost vibrating state as my body grew ice cold, but I stood there on my own two feet stoking the fire that once burned inside me. I thought about who I used to be, who I was now, and who I could become. I was the closest to death as I had ever been, but now, I also held the most hope for the future. Not the future of the world, but the future of me. I was a terrible person, but I didn¡¯t feel like that was a permanent part of my character. I became wicked because that is what my family needed, it was what my friends needed, and it might have been what I needed. At least it was at the time. Not now though. As the charm around my neck slowly healed me, my charred skin flecked away in large chunks, floating to the ground like displaced leaves in spring and revealing pink flesh underneath. I realized that I didn¡¯t have to be terrible anymore. Sure, I was still planning on murdering Ragnaros, but that violence was no longer fueled by anger or despair or the inane and inexplicable feeling of unfairness. It was just the situation I was placed within, and I would do what I needed to do to get to greener pastures. It was as simple as that. The fire inside me burned with a new fervor now, but I snuffed it out. A cool calmness washed over me. It was an odd sensation, one I never felt before. I was finally at peace. I don¡¯t know how long I stood there until my trembling stopped, but it could very well have been ages. It sure felt like ages to me, after all, no one actually grew up overnight. But in a way, that was what I did. Everything was out in the open now. ¡°Ragnaros,¡± I said calmly as I stepped through the bulkhead to the roof of the fortress. The moon was bright and clear. The light of it reflected off the flecks in the metal guard stations, creating an eternal blue and purple atmosphere. A portion of the cement roof was replaced with more black metal where the Drade gusted Avalanche, Nikko, and I into it until the cement crumbled under the pressure. Candy bar wrappers floated around by my feet, as did other trash left by the Alliance members. Raggy turned, ¡°Hey Buddy!¡± he said with a smile. His white teeth showing bright within his dull green-painted face. ¡°Are we finally going to duke it out?¡± He balled up his hands and threw a few fake punches in my direction while bobbing his head up and down, left and right. ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°We are going to talk first.¡± He shrugged and swung his assault rifle behind his back, ¡°Sure Sport. If you want a villain, I will kill everyone you love. If you want to talk,¡± Raggy looked puzzled, ¡°Well I already killed everyone you love, but hey, I¡¯ll still listen. I am a figment of your imagination after all.¡± His words hit me¡­ they hit me somewhere. In a place that was ready to be hit by them. I sighed, ¡°So I am crazy after all?¡± Raggy laughed, ¡°Oh batshit. But everyone gets that way at one time or another in life.¡± I walked up to the guard tower and overlooked the ruined world. Raggy was by my side now. As I retraced the steps of my journey from a bird¡¯s eye view, it occurred to me how bonkers and impossible this had all been. The Tattoo Parlor where I met Nikko and Lorelai. The Tele Pizza were I met Barbara. And the ruined city on the dark horizon, where a Dragon was born. All of it was impossible. Suddenly, I felt something shift at the edge of my perception. It wasn¡¯t Raggy, it wasn¡¯t even anything physical. I looked to my left. Lorelai was there now, and to her left was Nikko. I looked right and past Ragnaros, Grandma stood holding Pommy. Realization dawned. I seized the moment and turned to Lorelai. She smiled at me knowingly, then I kissed her. The warmth of her lips radiated through me. When we came apart, she gave me a wink. I turned to Raggy, ¡°Okay. I am ready now.¡± Ragnaros shook a successful fist, causing the handcuffs around his wrists to jingle, ¡°Fuck yea,¡± then he turned to everyone, ¡°We did it team!¡± He punched the sky, opening a hole in the perpetual blanket of grey. Golden sunlight beamed through and washed over us as we stood in a line, three stories above the ground. The feel of the warmth on my skin brought a longing tear to my eye. I caught a whiff of bacon and Pommy barked. Not from beside me, but from up above. Then, I opened my eyes. *** They fluttered open to a beam of sunlight on a beige ceiling. Something was digging into my back. I leaned to my side and pulled out my pack. My body released a strangely intense sigh, then I tossed my uncomfortable bag onto the beige carpeting. Rolling back into the couch, I attempted to go back to sleep. ¡°Oh,¡± Grandma said, ¡°You¡¯re finally awake. Would you like some bacon?¡± Pieces of strange dreams remembered caused me to sit up in a rush. My elbows rested on my knees now, and my hands on my head, as if I could trap the dream fragments inside and keep them from escaping. There was a tattooed man, a lovely and warm damsel, monsters, friends, epic battles and legendary loot. It all slowly and steadily drifting away, through the fingers of my mental grip on them. Emotions that were so raw and real just moments ago healed and scared over, becoming nothing but an invisible part of me I was no longer aware of.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°Everything okay, hun?¡± Gram asked. ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting you to sleep over last night. Of course, you know you are always welcome-¡± I looked at her as if I hadn¡¯t seen her in years. She was beautiful in her old age. A true elegant warrior of a woman. She had fought for me when my dad disappeared and she fought for me when my mom died. She was always there. I stood up and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. The action surprised her almost as much as it surprised me. ¡°Oh!¡± she said, smiling, ¡°What do I owe this wonderful visit to? I thought you had work this morning?¡± ¡°I took the day off,¡± I said, picking up a piece of cooked bacon, smelling it, then tossing it back down on the paper towel covered plate. ¡°Is it too crispy?¡± she asked, genuinely mortified. I laughed, ¡°No Gram, it''s perfect as usual. I¡¯m just not in the mood for bacon today.¡± She looked at the pile of bacon for a second then back to me, as wondering if I was just being polite and her bacon really was too crispy. ¡°Bork,¡± a voice rang from upstairs. Excitement pulsed through me like a flash fire, quick and intense. I ran over to the stairs and caught a glimpse of my geriatric family dog standing on top of the stairs. ¡°Pommy!¡± I said, running up to grab my companion, who was far too old to safely navigate the stairs by himself. Still though, he was able to muster up enough youth to wag his tail at me and lick my face when I picked him up. I clutched him close to my chest, cherishing the time we had together. I set him down in the kitchen and took a seat at the dining room table. ¡°Gram¡­¡± I started to say. ¡°Yes love,¡± she replied, sensing the trepidation in my voice and turning around to give me all of her attention. I cut right to the chase, ¡°My Dad is alive. I found out yesterday and went to go meet him. It didn¡¯t go well.¡± ¡°What!¡± she exclaimed, ¡°He was announced Killed in Action? Were they wrong?¡± ¡°I guess so. He said that he was a prisoner of war or something. I couldn¡¯t get the whole story." my head lowered and I shook it, "I didn¡¯t stay for long. It was just too much¡­¡± Gram took my hands, ¡°That¡¯s okay honey. It is too much!¡± she agreed. ¡°What are you going to do now?¡± ¡°I am going to go back to my place and shower,¡± I bent over in my chair to stroke Pommy, ¡°Then I am going to try again.¡± I picked up my cell phone. There were four messages, each from the same strange number. Hey, this is Rafael. I am sorry I sprung up on you yesterday. That must have been a lot to take in. I got your number from a guy at a tattoo parlor while I searched for you last night. The guy says he knows your Grandma, but wouldn¡¯t tell me where she lived. I guess I won¡¯t try and find that out if you don¡¯t want me to. Just know that I am sorry. I am sorry about everything. I can¡¯t change the past, but I can change the future. I want to be involved in your life, however you see fit. You have my number now. Reach out whenever you feel like it. I love you. Pommy barked again, conveniently awarding me the opportunity to take him outside and dry the tears from my eyes in secret. It was summer. The sun beat down on and reflected off of Pommy¡¯s grey fur as he watched me intently, making sure I was guarding him in his vulnerable moment. I unlocked my phone with a swipe and texted my father back. Sorry I left last night. I didn¡¯t know how to handle it all. Most my life I thought you were dead. It was like talking to a ghost. Can you meet me at that same polish meat market in about an hour? I sent the message. The sounds of a letter flying off into the air mixed with my anxious exhale. A car drove by, causing Goldrin to clench his deed muscles and turn around in fright. Glad, I¡¯m not the only one that''s always anxious. My phone lit up and blinked with a notification. I¡¯ll be there. The polish meat market was much more approachable in the daylight. Fresh sausages and meat hung from the walls to dry, but no flies buzzed around them like before. The faces inside were bright and cheery, as I was, strangely enough. Then I saw him. He was standing in line waiting to order a coffee and looking desperately at his phone. I recognized the awkward movements of someone acting like they had a message coming, but in reality, no one had his number except me. I used the moment to study my father for the first time ever. He looked much older than he had any right to be, and although he was as thin as someone who just survived years in a war camp, he seemed strong. You could see it in his forearms and his thick eyebrows. You could see it in his eyes and you could see it in the way he carried himself. Although his body was mostly decrepit, he clearly wasn¡¯t broken in the least, merely set back from situations out of his control. ¡°Heh,¡± I said, joining him in line and patting my stomach, ¡°Looks like I got the fat gene from Mom¡¯s side, huh?¡± Raphael¡¯s eyes shot to mine. He put his phone away, smiled, then erupted in laughter. The sound of it completed me. It unapologetically bounced around the small market and filled the holes inside me. It patched over the cracks of my soul, worn ragged by life. ¡°Man, she would roll over in her grave if she heard me say this, but yes. Absolutely. You can thank your mother for that predisposition.¡± The man in front of us grabbed his coffee and stepped aside, we took his place by the counter. The red-cheeked man behind it asked, ¡°Two coffees? Just like last night?¡± ¡°Err,¡± my dad started, ¡°No. I will have a coffee, and Milton will have¡­¡± ¡°Green tea is fine. Thank you.¡± We found a private table in the corner and took our seats. Dad looked down into the billowing steam of his cardboard coffee cup. ¡°I miss her.¡± He said, still looking down, ¡°Every day of my life I miss her. I wish I could have been here when she¡­¡± ¡°She always knew you would come back,¡± I said. Dad met my eyes. ¡°She used to say that she could feel it. She said that if you did die, she would be able to tell. I believed her at first, but once I was old enough to understand that you went off to fight a war, well, then logic took over.¡± ¡°You must have been so upset.¡± I nodded, ¡°I was. I used to be. I think a part of me believed Mom, even when I didn¡¯t want to. She never lied to me, so why would she about that. I think that is what made it harder. If I believed Mom, then that meant you weren¡¯t dead. And if you weren¡¯t dead and you weren¡¯t with us, then that meant you abandoned us.¡± ¡°I did. But not willingly. I would never-¡± ¡°I know,¡± I interrupted, ¡°What I am trying to say is that I was mad. Furious really. But then I pushed that anger deep inside me and forgot about it for a long, long time. When we met up last night, I think all of it bubbled back up.¡± Dad nodded. ¡°But I¡¯m not mad now. A small part of me wished you never decided to join the army in the first place,¡± I smiled, ¡°but I know that isn¡¯t right.¡± Dad returned my smile, ¡°I am proud of you, Milton. You seem much more prepared for the world than I was at your age.¡± I chuckled, ¡°Well¡­ Actually¡­¡± *** Dad eventually got a job at the same Wal-mart I worked at. During working hours, we would unload truck after truck of merchandise onto conveyor belts. It was tough labor and a job that I never volunteered for before he came back into my life. It didn¡¯t seem so daunting now. Dad was prone to panic attacks and flashbacks from his time spent as a prisoner. He said that the physical labor helped keep him grounded. He would always push me to do more though. He would slip in bits of advice as we whistled tunes and talked about nonsense. He was so good at it that I often didn¡¯t realize I was following his advice until I was knee deep in college applications or had a heavy barbell hovering over my face and someone looking down at me yelling, ¡°Let¡¯s go! You got one more in ya!¡± I watched Dad struggle with the demons that followed him back from Afghanistan. Every time I began to feel sorry for him, he would say things like, ¡°Better a little crazy than a little dead,¡± or, ¡°What¡¯s life without a little drama.¡± The most surreal of it all was that he let me help him. When his eyes would gloss over and take him back to war, he would let me embrace him after. And when he was stuck in his car, scared to go outside and get captured again, he would let me come over and talk some sense into him after the anxiety left. He knew he wasn¡¯t right, but he never let that fact become part of who he was. He would say that he was a man with demons, but not a Demon. We leaned on each-other heavily over the next few weeks, and yet somehow, he never became a friend. I could talk freely with him of course, but I never considered him anything other than my father. I never looked down on him. In some ways, the weakness my father showed me did more to make me strong than anything else. Eventually, he was able to find a doctor that understood his PTSD and got a treatment that helped. Around the same time, I attending my first class as a University student. Dad told me time and time again how much of an awesome imagination I had as a child, so I chose a creative programming degree. Halfway through my first semester, Grandma and Pommy passed away, as if the two shared the same life. I was devastated. Dad suggested that I take some time off from work. When I panicked and told him that no one would let me do that, he simply shrugged and picked up all my extra shifts for the next month. He took over Grandma¡¯s mortgage payments as well and let me move in so I didn¡¯t have to worry about money while I studied. It wasn¡¯t easy continuing my education, but I did it. I have my father to thank for that one. If he hadn¡¯t shown me what it looked like to be a functioning member of society, I would have succumbed to numbness once again. It was nice to have his support. I realized that I always had support, Grandma and Pommy and even the BFFs at one point. They all taught me something; how to have initiative, not succumbing to peer pressure, all the basic lessons someone should know. But it wasn¡¯t until Dad came back that I really learned all of it. Maybe I just never knew how to implement those lessons, but either way, it was clear he had a way of getting through to me. To teach me without teaching me. He was my father, and I couldn¡¯t love him more. I graduated with honors a few years later and got my first real job at a video game design company specializing in virtual reality. I kept my head down, did my work, tried to find a girlfriend in my free time and even had some minor successes on that front. Year after year passed in much the same manner, but don¡¯t think it was boring. I loved what I did. I was relatively fit and doing something with my life other than raiding dungeons and killing noobs, although I still did all of that on occasion, only now it was considered, "Competitive Analysis," and much more relatable to the new people in my life. After a promotion or two, I found myself as the lead Director of the companies latest endeavor. It was going to be our response to our competition putting out the first ever game with fully immerse virtual reality technology. We were the only company with enough money to compete with them, and I was determined to create something better. In fact, I felt as if I was born to do it. I had the experience, the passion, the accolades within my company, and most important of all, a vast imagination to draw from. I oversaw the creation of my life¡¯s most important accomplishment like a father to a newborn. I loved it, I taught the artificial intelligence system real life lessons, and otherwise, nailed it. The only problem the Board of Directors had with my game was something I was firm about keeping. I had a gut feeling that the feature would set us apart from the competitors and allow easy branding. It would create in-game suspense and help set the mood. I honestly wasn¡¯t sure why I believed in the feature so much, but that belief was apparent to those above me in the corporate ladder. They eventually allowed the Rainbow Letters in the game, after all. My pride and joy hits the shelves next year. You will need a VR capsule to play it, so start saving your money now. I promise you won''t regret it!