《Before I Go Insane》


 The Rules Are Simple

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    Decades before you experienced websites which create custom radio stations by tailoring your musical selections according to your likes and dislikes, a pioneering researcher had the same concept. Although he is known now primarily among music historians, it is entirely possible that such sophisticated computer programs would not exist without the work of Alan Lomax.


    Decades before you experienced websites which create custom radio stations by tailoring your musical selections according to your likes and dislikes, a pioneering researcher had the same concept. Although he is known now primarily among music historians, it is entirely possible that such sophisticated computer programs would not exist without the work of Alan Lomax.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Decades before you experienced websites which create custom radio stations by tailoring your musical selections according to your likes and dislikes, a pioneering researcher had the same concept. Although he is known now primarily among music historians, it is entirely possible that such sophisticated computer programs would not exist without the work of Alan Lomax.

 In The Spotlight

    "The ace of spades, step to the platform." - The ninja dude made a front flip, maneuvering his body in mid-air and landed facing us. A stage light pointed at him and a family symbol (the ones we saw carved in steel earlier) was on the floor along with the spades poker symbol.


    "With his training in stealth assassinations, ability to camouflage in the environment, and badass attitude, receives 1.2 : 1," announced 2 commentators who were viewing from a press box located above; behind us.


    I turned towards them, was this a live-streamed sport?** I looked to my right and left and realized that spectators had been populating benches and tables. They were eating gourmet food like pigs, some viewed with anticipation and drank fine liquors, others were smoking...pot? (haha, just kidding. Now I remember, they were smoking hookah!)


    "Go ahead my queen of hearts," said the man accompanied by the cowgirl.


    The cowgirl walked to the front confidently, keeping back and shoulders straight, arms swaying freely. She turned 180¡ã and faced us with a conceited smirk.


    "High dexterity and experienced in taming wild animals," the gentlemen chuckled.


    "2.3: 1," the numbers appeared on the scoreboard, the cowgirl and the ninja were being broadcasted on big screens next to the scoreboard. The scoreboard displayed their name, poker, and family shield they represent.


    "Parkour acrobatics, the king of clubs; brute force and pain tolerance, the king of diamonds," announced the sports commentators.


    The black guy took 3 steps like a ballet dancer, raised his hands, and performed acrobatic front flips to the spotlight - yes, it looked very girly, but I was more impressed at how he managed to do it with his gangster apparel. He greeted the audience on both sides; at the same time, the sergeant-looking person had walked to the front, turned around, pulled a cigarette, and started smoking it with a bad-boy stare. "3: 1 and 4.1: 1 respectively."


    "And finally, the wildcard!" Stage lights turned on pointing at me. I looked at the audience, turned to see the pit boss, and pointed my index finger to my chest, whispering, "me?" Before he could answer my question, one of his bodyguards once again kicked my @$$ launching me to the front. I landed on my butt.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    9: 1!!! Displayed the scoreboard and the audience yelled in excitement. For those of you unaware, for every $1,000 you bet on me, your wager will be multiplied times 9; therefore:


    9: 1 ($1,000), will get you $9,000,


    $5,000 can earn you $4,5000,


    A $10,000 lay down can hit $90,000, etc.


    The odds given to us would make those who bet on the ninja receive the lowest profit if he wins, it would make me their jackpot, and the players between us could net you a nice payday. The most likely player to win is always given the lowest odds; whereas, the most unlikely player is given the highest odds. This allows gamblers to choose between a safe bet and modest returns, a risky bet with higher returns, or anything in-between. At this moment you''ve probably figured out, I''m as good as cannon fodder!


    "We have distributed pamphlets with our players stats, biographies, and faction. You can also access these stats on our mobile APP. We are now accepting bets,"** could be heard from big speakers around the game room, the spectators went euphoric.


    "Players, follow our hostess to the locker room," As I walked, I looked right and left. I couldn''t find an exit to run to; moreover, the pit boss'' body guards walked behind me.


    We entered the locker room. As the other players practiced: ninja dude was swinging his sword, cowgirl polished her revolvers, black guy performed back and front flips, and Mr. Commander was bench-pressing 315 lb. The bodyguards told me to follow them, We walked into the shower room adjacent to the lockers.


    "What am I doing here?!" I yelled at them, grabbed a bodyguard by his shirt-collar, and raised my knuckle at him.


    "You may be scared at first, but I''m glad to tell you there is a team of medics ready to take care of you in case of injury," he replied.


    "What?!"


    "The good news is that your limbs are insured as well as your life. If you were to die or became handicapped, you''re set for life. This is possible thanks to our spectators, since they are betting against the house on the likelihood of you losing certain...body-parts," the body guard that was free explained.


    "And, how did I get myself into this?"


    "You may say it was just the luck of the draw, you may say it was destiny. Whatever way you want to see it, there''s still one way out."


    "Tell me?"


    "As soon as you get gravely injured, you will be rescued...This includes self-injury,"


    I let go off the bodyguard, looked in disbelief, and my face paled. Although I wanted a way out of this, it was clear there wasn''t. People came here to watch me, and in a sense, they believe in me 9: 1. Insecure and unwillingly, I agreed, "let''s do this!".


    "You are definitely our wildcard!" The bodyguards agreed.


    "Why don''t you go and take a look a the locker with your name on it and make some new friends?"

 Formal Introductions

    I walked to the locker room.


    "Ok, ready?!" The ninja addressed the cowgirl who stood in front of him.


    The soldier and acrobat counted, "1, 2, 3!!"


    The cowgirl withdrew her revolvers and fired the whole cylinders at the ninja, the ninja


    pulled his sword, and like a knife slicing butter, pierced through the bullets with his sword. The bullets fell on the ground around him split in half.


    "Yes, I win! Pay me," demanded the soldier to the acrobat.


    "Not so fast, look at my leg," a bullet had ripped a small area of the ninja''s leggings and a drop of blood stained the spot.


    The cowgirl grabbed a Band-Aid from her locker and sealed the ninja''s wound, "take it easy. We can swing more than iron rods side to side if you ever come visit me to Rodeo."


    "Hey! We''re just sparring before the game starts! My name is Arnold. I''m a lieutenant at the LTC," the soldier noticed me, waved his hand, stood up, and approached me while lighting a cigarette on his way here.


    The acrobat did a front flip towards me, landing next to the soldier, "I''m Tyrone, a dealer for the NIMH, and I''m tired of this cancer causing shit!" The acrobat slapped away Arnold''s cigarette.


    Arnold: "bruh!"Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    Like cat''s horse-playing, they started trading head punches while spinning on the floor¡­ My eyes were wide-open in disbelief at the odd fighting scene.


    "I''m Amy from the LTC faction. I usually manage farms for my boss, the man you saw me walking next to."


    "I''m Sasuke from the Miya faction. Professional assassin."


    "I''m¡­John, former cryptographer at MBI¡­" I was feeling that awkward moment when you just don''t belong in the party.


    "Haha, you''re not one of us," said the acrobat while sitting on top of the soldier¡¯s chest and aiming his fist at the his nose.


    "This is the first time the hosts have organized this," the soldier added while squeezing the acrobat¡¯s neck.


    "What!? You¡¯re as lost as me?!" I asked in amusement.


    "Yeah, they wanted to limit the game to 4 of us. They decided to include a wildcard last minute," explained the cowgirl.


    "Although we have experience in other areas, we are also new to, the game," said the ninja while returning the sword to its scabbard.


    "And the games will begin in 5 minutes. Are you ready!?" We heard from the speakers followed by the crowd cheering in excitement.


    "We don''t have much time left. Check your locker," said Arnold as he and Tyrone were standing up.


    I opened the locker with my name: a handgun with 3 bullets, 2 grenades, and a 10" hunter¡¯s knife. The items were placed inside a custom made leather harness. I wore the harness, then a camera popped up from it next to my shoulder, and started recording.


    "Hmm, trying to get the action from all angles," said Amy when she saw my camera and the rest of them wore their harness which only had a camera but no weapons. I figured Amy would use her revolvers and Sazuke his sword, but what about the other 2?


    "Ready players?! Let''s go!" 2 hostesses jumped cheerfully into the locker room and we followed them outside.

 Ready, Set, Go!

    As we approached the fish tank, the crowd was going crazy; their cheering was so intense, my ears were going deaf. Some men removed their shirts, each one had a letter painted in their chest, they read, "GO! LTC!" Some women were wearing bikinis and displayed henna tattoos of their favorite faction. A man from the audience came running towards us, he reached me, grabbed my head, and kissed me in my mouth.


    "I believe in you!" He said while looking at my eyes¡­I looked at him speechless.


    2 bodyguards came running and tried to catch him as he ran back to his seat laughing out loud. His friends sitting on the table laughed as well as he sat back. The guardians left him alone and walked away. The other players stared with a cringe on their faces, except Sasuke who was indifferent. As we continued upstairs, I gazed at the tank''s glass to my right. Unidentified objects could be seen afar swimming, but the sight was blurry since the algae and deep blue water shaded the view. We reached the top, it was amazing! The swamp bio-dome seemed to have no bounds, as the fog, weeping willow trees, and lotus flowers prevented us from seeing the end of the bio-dome.


    "On your marks, get set, go!" A hostess who was standing next to us yelled as she pulled a handgun and fired to the roof.


    Sasuke swiftly jumped from tree to tree until he faded within the fog. The other 4 of us looked around our surroundings.


    "Well, the rules are simple. See ya!"  Amy pulled one of her guns, aimed, and shot 3 rounds; one to each willow tree. A vine was released and swung from each tree branch she shot. She grabbed the nearest vine and swung from branch to branch.


    While swinging on the last vine, she pulled her revolver and fired 3 rounds to the tree in front of her. 2 birds with bear-trap-like beaks fell death on the swamp, and a vine unrolled itself from the branch she shot. She grabbed the new vine and reached a platform; which stood up thanks to various tree trunks floating on the swamp. Something clamped the two birds in one bite and quickly submerged back into the swamp¡­You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    "You don''t need to tell me twice," Tyrone took 3 steps back and ran towards the swamp. He took a giant leap over the swamp.


    A crocodile abruptly emerged from the swamp and tried to catch Tyrone, it opened its jaws, and snapped them, Tyrone raised his legs to avoid it. Tyrone stomped on its nose like Super Mario squishing a goomba, picking up more forward momentum. He landed on plain ground, waved at us, "good-bye," and continued walking slowly.


    "Well, I have to go," said Arnold as he pointed with his thumb behind. There were stones on the swamp, he stepped on one, and continued walking stone by stone, "be careful, they may be slippery. My boots have a nice grip".


    "Hmm, swing from vine to vine, Olympic jumping, or hiking stones above an unknown creatures filled swamp?" I thought. Easy choice! I followed Arnold. I looked down at the stones and stepped on the first one trying to keep my balance, I brought in my other leg, easy does it! I looked straight, only to realize how long the stones¡¯ path is! Arnold is more than halfway done. I need to speed things up. Instead of being cautious on my steps, I focused on the front and walked on the stones. Nice! Two stones in a row. Short was my celebration as I slipped back to the second stone and landed on the back of my head.


    My whole body bounced after the impact and flipped back to the first stone, which I landed on with my crotch. My body continued the back-flip motion and; without intending it to happen, I landed standing up on the platform where we started.


    "An amazing skills show-off by the wildcard!" The sports commentators announced and the audience yelled in excitement! I was patting my head with one hand and holding my nuts with the other one to ease the pain. A tear slid along my cheek. I was holding my breath and strong urge to yell, "FML!", yet you could see the expression through my face.


    I saw Arnold jump to one last boulder. He opened his arms wide in mid-air, and as his body was about to hit the boulder, his arms and feet clamped on it. He had gripped it with his boots and fingernails! He climbs his way up, stands on the stone, and looks backwards before jumping off to the other side. The audience cheered even louder. From my angle, I could no longer see Arnold, as the big boulder covered my view.

 Its A Long Way To The Top

    I''m back to the start line and don''t feel confident to try the other paths. This time I go hands first and proceed crawling stone by stone. Not a flashy technique, but I''m making progress. I reached the second to last stone and positioned myself in a frog pose as I think my next move. I felt that the more I thought about it, the less likely I would do it.


    A burst of energy ran through my legs as I took the leap in froggy-style, extending my legs as much as possible. In an instinctive fashion, with my eyes still closed, my limbs began to revert back and then swayed ahead of me. TAP! I opened my eyes. I had reached the stone and held tight to it. It seemed like my hands were glued to it''s texture, or so I thought¡­ I began to slide slowly, inch by inch.


    Although I could climb the rock, my stupid shoes and weak forearms couldn''t get a strong grip of the situation. I paled as I continued descending."Wait a minute, if I can''t climb, maybe I can move sideways to the other side and hopefully get lucky on the other end." A combination of upward impulses to my left (I''m lefty) on the slippery texture, made for a dramatic struggle of man vs. nature as the sweat from my eyebrows advanced to burn my eyes. There''s no way to wipe it off in these conditions.


    Great, I found a branch alongside the boulder! I held it with both hands, wiped off the sweat with my shoulders, and walked along the boulder while balancing my body; looking for an uneven surface where I could cling from. "SNAP!!" The branch snapped, and for a fraction of a second which felt longer than a minute, I was holding the branch and stared at it with terror in my eyes. Floating in mid-air, I looked down to the swamp, turned back up, and searched desperately for anything I could hold on to, but this all happened within milliseconds and my body could not escape the laws of gravity. My body continued its downfall.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    Something would soon deprive me the joy of at least having a fun dive. A huge creature emerged from the swamp and snatched me by my torso in mid-air. Huh? The bite wasn¡¯t painful. I turned to look at it. It looked "friendly", lacked teeth, had puncturing spikes on its body, and it was a huge round fish! It had sucked me by my torso and wouldn''t let go. We splashed back to the swamp and it swam deeper. As it accelerated, it inflated bigger, its mouth widened, and it sucked me with major force.


    I was being compressed and vacuumed by force into its mouth. It made one last suction and I went straight into its stomach. The ride through its stomach was quite a water slide! I was sliding in this dark tunnel which soon ended when I landed on a flat mat made out of its flesh. I stood up and walked around. The interior was illuminated by a pleasant green aurora and it was very spacious; it accommodated some ponds around its uneven surfaces. I saw fish splashing around; a few lucky ones made it to the ponds and swam around.


    "Have you ever seen, a fish inside a fish?" I chuckled.


    I heard steps ahead of me, they are accelerating; quickly approaching. It seems I''m not the first guest to arrive for lunch time¡­