《How To Tidy Up Loose Ends》 1 - How Did This All Happen? step step step Nothing could be heard within the cool misty forest besides the sound of my feet gently taping the moistened dirt. There was no breeze, no crickets, no leaves rustling. It was as if there was no longer any life left in the forest. Slowly the path gets brighter as the tall thick trees become sparse and the sound of gentle flowing water became clearer. I stood at the edge of the river, looking down at my reflection. Just looking. It felt like I was thinking but I know for a fact not a single word came to mind. A faint pink ripple broke my reflection and snapped me out of my daze. I began to wade into the river, the biting cold seeped into my bones. Eventually when I was neck deep, all I felt was numbness. I looked towards the direction the river flowed and watched as the red slowly become pink and then back to nothing. I looked up at the supermoon just above my head. Once again dazed, I let myself drift with the soft current until I slammed into a giant boulder in the middle of the river. Sighing, I crawled back to land. The moment I popped myself out of the water, I once again felt a bone rattle cold. I plopped myself down by the edge and just continued to stare at the supermoon. I shivered but I did little to attempt to get warm. I have become so accustomed to the cold that I now welcome it. Suddenly, two big pale hands pulled me up and I was immediately wrapped in 3 layers of warm soft towels. I was then lifted like a sack of potatoes, thrown over a shoulder, and hoisted off into what seemed like a little cozy cottage in the middle of the forest. As soon as I was dragged in the door, the towel burrito became unbearably warm to be in. I was struggling like an emerging caterpillar when I was suddenly thrown to the ground. ¡°HEY!¡± I looked up at the one who threw me. ¡°Is this any way to treat your captain?! I ¨C¡± ¡°How did it go?¡± I was interrupted with a dark serious voice. ¡°¡­¡± ¡°How did it go?¡± he asked again, dragging me out of my daze once again.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°As expected,¡± I answered, staring off into the distance. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slightly flinch from the coldness of my voice but I was in no mood to care. ¡°What about your end?¡± I asked. ¡°As expected,¡± he answered; his voice serious, gentle, and sad. Sighing, I fluently crawled out of the towel burrito; no longer in the mood to fake a struggle for a laugh. I walked down the hallway of the warmly lit cottage, stopping at the stairway. I waited as he pulled out a card and slid it through what looked like a crack on the stairway hand rail. Slowly, the stairs inverted, descending downwards into a brightly lit hallway. Compared to the simple cozy wooden style cottage, the high tech modern metal hallway made the whole scene look disjointed. The once cozy cottage now felt fake. We walked through the hallway, the stairs reinverting and returning to its original position as soon as we left the last step. We arrived in what looks like a modern living room of a multi-million dollar house. Except instead of all the furniture facing a big flat screen TV, it faced a touch screen wall named HAI ¨C High-definition Artificial Intelligence. The moment we stepped in the room, everyone present turned to look at us; all presenting a somber face. I took my seat at my usual white high back winged armchair directly facing HAI. I leaned back, closed my eyes and sighed. ¡°Damage?¡± I asked in a tired voice. Rylan took a seat right beside me, the first of twelve pitch black armchairs to my right. He then answered, ¡°$10 million. We¡¯ve lost Mu. Lambda was also hit pretty hard but he¡¯ll survive. Kappa is in a coma. The rest are fine as you can see here.¡± Looking to my right, I saw Rylan, Holi, Zex, Ilo, Irene, Clenver, Lena, Sen, and Kelk all in their respective seats. The last three chairs were empty. I stared at the very last chair while the white symbol for mu stared back at me. I took another deep breath. ¡°Ingline¡¯s body?¡± ¡°Unsalvageable.¡± ¡°Certainty?¡± ¡°100% confirmed dead.¡± I took another deep breath and looked to my left. ¡°Damage?¡± I asked Ryker, the guy sitting right beside me in the first of twelve dark red armchairs. Ryker had dark and heavy under eye bags. He slowly sat up straight, fully covering up the white symbol for omega on the back of his chair. ¡°All accounted for. All extremely tired. Chi and Upsilon will have to be out of commission for the next week. Our network is currently stabilized. Nothing is wrong data wise but we are currently in a vulnerable position as we are currently updating and changing up to a new firewall security.¡± I took my time to look at each of them. Ryker, Toric, Noir, Syren, Nota, Nymous, Edwin, Milvic, Jun, Xulin, Peck, and Isa were all in their respective chairs. Though Edwin was pretty much nodding off, his sigma symbol peeking out from behind him. I took another deep breath. ¡°HAI, recount events.¡± 2 - Where It All Began Again 1 year ago ¡°Misera!¡± ¡°Hmm?¡± I looked up from my desk to see Liliana, my secretary walking in. Her soft brunette hair in a half up do gently swayed behind her. It was 8 PM and I wondered why she was doing overtime. She was clearly very good at her job as she could do everything I asked of her and still leave work on time. ¡°We¡¯ve received job from Fein. How do you want to handle this?¡± ¡°Fein? The actor?¡± ¡°Yes, the male lead in the current hit drama called Thanking You.¡± ¡°So what¡¯s the problem?¡± ¡°The problem is the security detail he requested for is you.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°His reasoning was he has something of interest to you and that you should call him to sort out the details.¡± ¡°Ugggh. Fine. Leave the number here. I¡¯ll deal with it after I finish sorting through my current list of CRFAs.¡± As she left, I let out a deep sigh. My gut instinct screaming at me that I¡¯ll regret everything that¡¯s to come. I looked down at the current file. Deciding that I don¡¯t want to deal with it anymore, I threw it into a pile back into its cubby hole under the white CRFA tab. I looked at the 3x4 cubby shelf. Each of the four column had a different colored tab going from white (proposals waiting for judgement), red (proposals rejected), yellow (proposals with potential given revising), and green (proposals approved). Each row has a different department. The top row is named CRFA ¨C Company Requests For Approval. The second row was named BFRA ¨C Black Requests For Approval. The third row was named RFRA ¨C Red Requests For Approval. Unlike the first row where it¡¯s just open cubbies, the second and third rows were mini file safes. Only a select few were granted access to submit a proposal within these rows, therefore, no one really knows what these rows are for and they knew better than to ask. I focused my sight on the nearly full white CRFA cubby. I picked up the office phone and dialed my vice president. ¡°Josen,¡± he said as he picked up the phone. ¡°I¡¯ll have Liliana give you all of my CRFAs. Take care of them for me. I have something I need to do for the other side.¡± ¡°Urgent?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll find out.¡± I hung up and dialed for Liliana. I told her to give all the CRFAs to Josen and to go home. I then proceeded to walk to the two large bookshelves about ten feet away from my private elevator. I took out a metal card and swiped it into a blue bookstand. The two bookshelves then moved apart revealing another elevator. I stepped in and descended 20 levels underground. The elevator doors opened to reveal a big brightly lit circular lounge. I sat on a long white couch and began dialing the number Liliana gave me. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°What is worthy of my interest?¡± ¡°Ingline Avengle.¡± ¡°Explain.¡± ¡°She¡¯s alive.¡± I waited to hear more but Fein was silent. Both of us stayed on the line in silence for another ten minutes. Fein finally said, ¡°I got my memories back. Can we talk?¡± After another five minutes of silence, ¡°Three days from now. Midnight. The old place,¡± I replied and then hung up. I leaned back into the soft comfy couch with my arm over my eyes. My mind drifted into darkness only to be pulled back with the sound of Rylan¡¯s room door opening. Out came Rylan freshly showered and shirtless. I could still see some steam faintly flowing off his lightly tanned skin. He was drying his dark black hair with a towel as some droplets of water flowed down his sleek wide chest and strong 6-pack abs. ¡°Like what you see?¡± ¡°I love what I see.¡± ¡°Well you know what¡¯s better than seeing?¡± he grinned. ¡°Better than seeing you stand there with water droplets seductively rolling down your chest? Hmm¡­ How about you tell me?¡± I played along. He gave a light laugh and kabe donned the couch. His face was so close I could feel the remaining heat from the hot shower. ¡°Experiencing,¡± he said and immediate captured my lips with his. There was no gentleness, just a fiery passionate tongue war. Without break connection, he lifted me up and quickly carried me back to his room. He slammed the door shut and pressed me up against it.Stolen story; please report. I kicked off my heels as he ripped my blouse apart, buttons flying everywhere. His right hand both supported and fondled my left bottom cheek and his left hand ran up my white lace bra only to be annoyed by it. He finally broke the kiss and torn it straight down the middle with his teeth. He took a nipple in his mouth and roughly pushed 2 fingers in my mouth. I drenched his fingers with my saliva as he pumped them in and out. He switched nipples, rapidly took his fingers out of my mouth and roughly pushed them inside my dripping wet pussy. I let out a big moan and let myself focus on the rough thrusts of his fingers. I grabbed his dark damp hair with one hand and clawed his shoulder with the other. As I was about to come, he took me off the door and threw me on the bed face up. Before I could start missing his fingers he grabbed my legs apart, pulled me closer, and entered me with his twitching hard stiff cock in one rapid motion. We resumed our wild uninhibited kissing as he thrusted his cock in me deep and hard. He started to speed up as I was getting closer and closer. When I was finally almost there again, he broke our kiss, flipped me over and continued from behind. He held my hips up and pressed my head down. He continued to slam into me fast and hard. He pulled me upright and fingered my mouth while the other hand played with a nipple. He sucked and kissed my neck as he slowly pumped inside me. I felt myself getting wetter as I heard his rough breathing and occasional moaning and grunting. I let out some satisfied moans as I clawed his lower back with both my hands. He then took his hand out of my mouth to play with my clit. One of my hands pulled on his hair as I turned my head back to resume our intense kiss. Just as I was once again about to come, he broke our kiss, grabbed my left leg and rotated me all without his cock leaving me. He then positioned me on top. Without waiting for me to process the change, he passionately thrusted upwards into my sopping wet pussy as he supported my hips with one hand and roughly fondle a boob with the other. I supported myself with one hand on the bed while fondling his balls with the other. Inside me I felt that he was close too. Finally, I felt it coming as my walls tightened and my toes curled. I saw him arching his back, trying to bury his cock as deep as he can inside me. We both let out a load satisfied moan as he squirted his thick creamy cum inside my tightly contracting walls. I rolled back my eyes as I let my intense orgasm overtake my satisfied convulsing body. As we both came back to earth still heavily panting, we stayed in the same position. He was still playing with my nipples while I still played with his balls. His cock hadn¡¯t gone totally soft get and was still being caressed by my still sensitive walls. I looked down into his eyes as he looked up into mine. He pulled me down for sweet gentle kisses as I slowly moved my pussy up and down, letting the mixture of him and I slowly flow down his cock. As I was about to empty everything inside me, I could feel him getting harder again. I loved it when he grew inside me. He knew I loved it when he grew inside me. So as he got harder, as he got bigger, he began to thrust harder and deeper inside me. He flipped us over and pounded my pussy so hard I could hear the sound of our flesh smeared with our cum being smashed together alongside our loud moans. I grabbed his head and pressed our foreheads together. I looked into his eyes as he looked into mine. With my other hand, I clawed his back once again as he continued thrusting inside me. Though this time, I drew blood. Without ever breaking our eye contact, we both came together once again. He then collapsed on top me as we just continue to cuddle each other. I wrapped my legs around his waist, still feeling his semi soft cock slightly twitching inside me. He buried his face inside my neck as I stroke his sweaty hair and muscular back. I ran my fingers over the three bleeding lines on his shoulder. I heard a small hiss from him and felt myself getting a bit naughtier. I continued to play with his wound, sometimes gently, sometimes purposefully rougher. I enjoyed his hiss of pain and I knew he liked it too as he once again began to get harder and bigger. When he was back to his full glorious size, he decided to take revenge. He once again flipped me over faced down. He grabbed my long hair and twisted it around his hand. He pulled my hair like a leash as he thrusted in me hard. He spoke for the very first time since our night started. ¡°You¡¯re a horny little bitch aren¡¯t ya?¡± he said in a deep raspy voice. I let out a loud lust filled moan, agreeing to what he just said. ¡°Fuck,¡± he gasped as he pulled my hair tighter and pounded deeper. ¡°You¡¯re such a slutty little whore. How are you so tight when I¡¯ve fucked you so much?¡± ¡°I¡¯m¡­ hah¡­ only¡­ hah¡­ a¡­ hah¡­ whore¡­ hah¡­ for¡­ hah¡­ you¡­ hah¡­ You¡¯re¡­ hah¡­ so¡­ hah¡­ biigggggg¡­ and... Mmmm¡­ AHH!¡± He started playing with my clit and bit down on my neck. The harder he pounded me the harder he bit down. Eventually I felt a drop of blood roll down my chest but the pain and pleasure mixed into one and I didn¡¯t care. This time, I screamed out his name as I came first. He let go of my neck, gave my ass a hard crisp slap, gave one last deep thrust and came inside. We didn¡¯t move from the position we came if for quite a while. He collapsed on my back, both of us still panting. I shivered as he licked his new set of teeth imprints and swallowed my blood. He spooned me as be both drifted off to a deep sleep. In the morning, I woke up to his morning wood. We went gentle this time. Afterwards, we both took a shower together and finished off another round. We came out of the shower only to once again end up on the bed. rumble rumble gurgle We stopped our gentle kisses and looked in each other¡¯s eyes, both giving a soft giggle. We quickly put on our clothes, or really his clothes, and went out to the lounge. Rylan quickly made us some monte cristo sandwiches and we both ate quickly in silence. After a quick breakfast we chilled on the couch in each other¡¯s arms with a warm cup of earl grey in front of the large TV, though it quickly just became background noise. ¡°Fein said he got his memories back,¡± I started. The mood quickly gloomed. ¡°He wanted to talk so I¡¯m meeting him three days from now at the usual place at midnight. Or well¡­ two days from now.¡± I heard Rylan sigh. ¡°What do you want to do?¡± ¡°I¡¯m tired,¡± I said as I leaned on his shoulder and closed my eyes for a moment. ¡°He also said¡­ Ingline is alive.¡± I felt Rylan stiffen at the mention of her name. This time I asked while looking into his eyes, ¡°What do you want to do?¡± He let out another sigh, closed his eyes and rested his head on me. ¡°My sister died three years ago. This person is just another with the same name.¡± I held his hands in mine and we both turned silent, only half listening to the TV. ¡°Can I come with you?¡± Rylan asked hesitantly. ¡°Of cour-¡± ¡°Not because of Ingline,¡± he cut me off. ¡°I¡¯ve already come to terms with her. I¡¯m just jealous of you meeting your ex-fiance.¡± ¡°Oh? Is my husband currently jealous of an ex? Why I¡¯m flattered.¡± Rylan playfully bit my nose. ¡°Just remember, it was me that made it to the alter with you.¡± I giggled as I nodded my head to which he started tickling me. ¡°If we were at home, I¡¯d fuck you until you couldn¡¯t even move.¡± ¡°You could always carry me home.¡± ¡°Challenge accepted.¡± 3 - Memories Resurfacing I stood in front of an abandoned cabin. My memories flooded me to the point where I no longer saw the reality in front of me. Instead of the broken frames and smashed windows, I saw a luxurious cabin radiating a faint but warm yellow light contrasting the dark night sky. Instead of the dirty green moss and sticky spider webs, I saw glossy wooden paint and strung on fairy lights. Instead of the dried up blood stains and pieces of human bones, I saw a gathering of people who loved and supported each other. A gathering of people who considered each other family and partied like it was Christmas every day. I hadn¡¯t noticed a tear slipped down my face until Rylan kissed it away. He held me in his arms like always and I felt warm and safe like always. We stayed there in silence until we both heard a soft crackling of leaves. We never let our guard down but we knew who it was so we didn¡¯t bother looking at who had arrived. ¡°Misera¡­¡± Rylan let me go but still held my hand. ¡°Fein,¡± I began. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Nice to see you again Rylan.¡± Rylan didn¡¯t answer. I didn¡¯t repeat my question. Silence washed over the three of us. Sighing, Fein began. ¡°Ingline is alive. She came to me about a month ago. Though then I didn¡¯t know who she was. We¡­ had a run in. I was hiking in Fairy Forest at night. Ever since I lost my memories three years ago, I¡¯ve gotten this habit of just walking through the forest. If I didn¡¯t, I felt as if I couldn¡¯t calm down. I guess now I knew why¡­¡± ¡°Anyways, she was being chased¡­ by NERAL. She managed to fend them off and came across me as she was just about to pass out. When she saw me, she looked very relieved which I found it hard to believe since I was sure I¡¯ve never seen her before. But I took care of her injuries. I didn¡¯t know why but I just felt like I had done this before. I had wanted to ask her some questions but she disappeared the next morning.¡±Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. ¡°We began to meet after that. At first I thought it was just a coincidence and then I thought it was fate that brought us together. You know, like a fairy tale love story. But then the more time I spent with her, this feeling of d¨¦j¨¤ vu became stronger and stronger. It got to the point where I felt like I was missing someone and that person was related to her but wasn¡¯t her. And finally a week ago, she came to with a nasty cut on her arm. I was helping her bandage it up when I called her Misera.¡± ¡°I looked at her and apologized, not even knowing where I got the name from. But when I saw her face twist into ugly jealousy, the memories started coming back. Compared to you, my skills may not be much but I take pride in being an actor. I was certain she didn¡¯t realize anything. She began faking weakness and left not shortly after. After three days, my memories all came back. That¡¯s when I made a request to you.¡± ¡°When my memories came back, I finally understood everything. The first thing I felt was that I wanted you back. But I¡¯ve seen the news. I saw pictures of your wedding. I knew I was too late. Actually, I already knew I had no more chances. It was just better to comfort myself by saying I was three years too late then to be reminded that I had lost my chance every time I see the scar of an x on my shoulder¡­¡± Fein took a deep breath and finally made eye contact with me. ¡°I actually don¡¯t know what I want by meeting with you. I could¡¯ve just sent you a message that Ingline was alive. I could¡¯ve moved on like I had never gotten my memories back. But I just felt like I needed to see you one last time.¡± Fein turned to Rylan and mocked, ¡°And you said I had nothing to worry about.¡± ¡°You left. So you really didn¡¯t have to worry about it,¡± Rylan replied. Giving a small self-deprecating chuckle, Fein looked at me and asked, ¡°Can you kill me?¡± After a brief silence, I asked, ¡°Why?¡± Fein looked up at the nearly full moon. ¡°I thought I could get closure meeting you. That this guilt from betraying you would start to heal. But now that I¡¯ve met you, I know I can¡¯t escape. It¡¯s why you erased my memories in the first place right? I¡¯m weak. Mentally, physically, socially. I was always weaker than you. I couldn¡¯t support you. I couldn¡¯t stay by your side when you needed me most. I was a mess. Ha... I still am a mess.¡± ¡°So please¡­ Just k ¨C¡± ¡°What right do you have to ask me to kill you?¡± I interrupted him. ¡°Heh¡­ You¡¯re right. I don¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Just tell me about Ingline and stop wasting our time. Whether you live or die is no longer my business. Just ¨C¡± ¡°Replace Ingline,¡± Rylan interrupted me. 4 - Rylans Past Shocked, we both looked at Rylan. And without giving either of us a chance to protest, he said ¡°This mess started because of you. So fix it. Become the new Mu. Get everything in order. You¡¯re disappearing from the world if you accept. I¡¯ll come to you in a week¡¯s time. Give me your answer then.¡± Rylan then just picked me up and carried me back to our car. We drove back in silence when he stated, ¡°You¡¯re still agitated.¡± Taking a deep breath, I answered, ¡°You¡¯re the leader, and you know who you want for your team. I will trust your judgment on that. It¡¯s just¡­¡± ¡°It feels weird? That your ex is now a subordinate? Or that now you have to care for him?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t trust him. I can¡¯t trust him.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t trust him either. But Ingline targeted him. We need to keep an eye on him. It can go either way, we get over it and he becomes the new Mu or he betrays us and we kill him.¡± ¡°I will kill him. Only I can.¡± ¡°Hey hey hey~ Lighten up! There¡¯s still a possibility he won¡¯t betray us again!¡± Ignoring Rylan¡¯s attempt to brighten up the mood, ¡°No. He will. His target has and will always be Ingline.¡± Rylan flinched and his voice became dangerously serious, ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Who the fuck goes for a walk in the middle of a forest at fucking night?! Especially an actor at that! When I first met him, I thought he was just some crazy dude. You know how it started. But remember, I wasn¡¯t supposed to be out on that mission. It was supposed to be Ingline¡­¡± ¡°So he¡¯s¡­¡± ¡°No, he¡¯s not part of NERAL. But NERAL got to him first and he works for them. He just doesn¡¯t know it.¡± Rylan slammed on the breaks and we stopped in the middle of a deserted freeway. ¡°What. Do. You. Mean.¡± He glared at me but I wasn¡¯t fazed. I just stared at the night sky and replied, ¡°Sleeper.¡± ¡°WHY DIDN¡¯T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE!?¡± he roared. I slowly turned to face him and gently asked, ¡°Why did you kill your whole family?¡± Rylan tensed. ¡°You know why,¡± he said curtly, his hands going white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. I began to gently peel his fingers off of the wheel and took his hands in mine. He didn¡¯t look at me but let me do as I wished. ¡°I know why, who, what, when, where, and how. But I don¡¯t understand why did you kill them. What really set you off?¡± Rylan¡¯s breathing became erratic. I could see anger, sadness, and resentment swirling on his face. He tried to stabilize his breathing by leaning back and closing his eyes. He gripped my hands tighter but I accepted the pain. After a few moments, he let go of my hands and just started driving. I figured he needed a few moments when he suddenly swerved the car off road into the dirt. He stopped the car, stormed out into the dewy grass and morning fog, and then just dropped his whole body down like a rag doll. Sighing, I took the keys and got out of the car. I closed his door and went to the trunk. I took out a bag filled with an automatic tent, pillows, and blankets. I then took out some water bottles out and snacks. I closed the trunk, locked the car, and walked to where Rylan plopped down. I popped up the automatic tent and threw in all the pillows and blankets. I also set the water and snacks in a corner. I remove the cover on the top of the tent revealing a white mesh window to view the stars with. I then walked over to Rylan who just laid there with his arms over his eyes. I proceeded to roll him into the tent. Once inside, I zipped it up and lay down next to him, just staring at the stars. The tent was pretty big, made for 6 people. So as the cold night air began to saturate the tent, I moved closer and closer to Ryland and buried us in the pile of blankets. Rylan finally moved. He turned towards me and pulled me closer, burying his head in my neck. He started nibbling my neck as he pulled me on top of him. His hands cupped my ass and pressed my hips down, smashing our lower parts together. I could feel the outline of his thick rod underneath our annoying clothes. I could feel myself getting wet and wanting him. I let out a small moan when he flipped us over and devoured my lips. Before I knew it, he had dropped both our pants and entered my pussy with extreme urgency. There was a slight pain but I allowed it. I let him play with me like how he had allowed me to play with him when I needed it.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. He fucked me hard, like he was trying to escape by filling up his pain with pleasure. There was no gentle sweetness or cares about my needs. Just pure unfiltered lust and the desire to break and conquer. He fucked me like a rag doll and only allowed me to come once. And that was because he enjoyed choking me too much he forgot I liked it too. He filled me up three times and not once did he allow any drops of him escape me. When he was done, he collapsed on top me. Like always, I wrapped my legs around his waist, letting my walls softly caress his semi soft cock, and hugged his neck while stroking his soft black hair. We stayed like that for a while, both of us still panting. After a moment of silence, he lifted himself off of me, lifted one of my legs, and gently rotated me about his cock. He still raised my leg as he began to gently thrust his reviving cock into my pussy from behind. He lifted my legs all the way to my chest, clutched my leg within his arms, and began roughly mold my boobs. His other hand went down and went fast on my clit. He started thrusting deeper as he went faster on my clit and rougher on my boobs. I let out a series of short breathy moans. I turned to look at him when he claimed my mouth in his. Our kiss this time was wet and sloppy. I pulled his hair and greedily devoured his tongue as I felt like we weren¡¯t close enough even though we literally could not get any closer. Finally my body convulsed so strongly that I just wanted to roll into a ball. But he didn¡¯t let me. He broke our kiss and held me face down, but was still thrusting hard, still rubbing my clit, and still abusing my boobs. He then bit down on my neck, marking me once again. Though this time, he bite my right side. I came for a second time from both pleasure and pain and unfortunately passed out. When I woke up, I found myself being spooned by him as he was still inside me. He knew I was awake but we both said nothing. We just gazed at the sky that was slowly becoming bright. He cuddled me so tightly I almost couldn¡¯t breathe. ¡°Hehe!¡± he laughed in a low raspy voice. ¡°I just love you so much I literally want to melt us together. Ugh I just want to hold you and be inside you forever.¡± I giggled, ¡°Same. You know, you¡¯re pretty big but I just can¡¯t help wanted to swallow more of you.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­¡± he moaned as I tightened my walls around him. I could feel him swelling up inside me but he made no moves to start another fuckfest. So I just let my walls squeeze him as best as they could as he moaned behind me. Finally, he made one big hard deep thrust inside my as he emptied another load into me and I came as I felt a rush of hot fluids burst in. We didn¡¯t move after that and he never pulled out. He still spooned me while we were both panting hard. After a while he began to speak with his head buried within my neck. ¡°I know you know the beginning but I just want to tell you anyways.¡± I waited, letting him continue. ¡°NERAL was founded by my great-grandfather Neral Avengle. He¡­ We are not good people but we have our own moral compasses. He did have his own compass but it was broken. What broken it was my father, Dyric.¡± ¡°When my father was young, he was kidnapped by a rival family ¨C the Erries. My father had always known that we were an underground family. But that kidnapping event damaged him. My father became a recluse child. But make no mistake, he was vicious and cold-hearted. My great-grandfather had always prided himself on family. That within this cold and dirty world, at least you¡¯ll have family.¡± ¡°However, my great-grandfather was also not stupid and blinded. He knew my father had changed. He didn¡¯t know exactly what my father had experienced but he knew it wasn¡¯t good. So he made a precaution that he prayed he would never have to use¡­ Me.¡± Rylan¡¯s voice trembled slightly has he wrapped me tighter in his arms. He took a deep breath before continuing. ¡°When I was born, my grandfather, Celis, had already taken over. But he hadn¡¯t gotten everything yet. I told you the dagger I used was an heirloom and that it signified the rightful heir of NERAL and that was why they targeted me. But the truth is you will only be considered the new head if you take that dagger and plunge it into the heart of the predecessor. And that wasn¡¯t the rule my great-grandfather had made. It was my father.¡± ¡°When my father was kidnapped, he was brainwashed into doing everything in his power to get that dagger. Because it¡¯s not just a dagger. It¡¯s a key. What for I still don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Twelve years ago on that night, my great-grandfather was finally on his death bed. The dagger was to be handed over to my grandfather. Up until then, no one besides my great-grandfather knew where it was. So my father waited all for that day.¡± ¡°The moment my father saw the dagger, he sprang a coup and plunged that dagger into my grandfather¡¯s chest before doing the same to my great-grandfather¡­¡± Rylan took another deep breath. ¡°I had always been close to my great-grandfather. Grandfather had taken over and was busy while father was crazy with his brainwashing. It was great-grandfather who taught me everything I knew. It was also great-grandfather who prepared me for that day.¡± ¡°He told me the dagger was a key but he didn¡¯t tell me what it was for or where its lock was. He had gotten all the paperwork done that should my father start anything I would be a sole beneficiary. But my great-grandfather had long been retired and my father had set up a solid support.¡± ¡°Once my father had cleaned up all remaining resistance, in came the Erries to start cleaning up the rest of us. I escaped with an unconscious Ingline to a safe house I had set up before. I left her there and went back to try to get the dagger. I knew if they left, I wouldn¡¯t be able to track them and it would be years before I could get revenge.¡± ¡°I somehow lured all of them inside the house and blew it up. It was a trap my great-grandfather had set up decades ago. While they were heavily injured, I slit all their throats and then burned all the bodies.¡± ¡°It took me almost two days before I could find the dagger under all the rubble. When I found it, the Damascus steel blade was still inside my great-grandfather¡¯s chest.¡± ¡°I took the blade and buried him with the rest of my family. Even with my father. I never knew him. I hated him for destroying my family. But I also pity him since he could barely comprehend what he did.¡± ¡°After that, I hid from the rest of the Erries while training Ingline. That was how we ran into you in the first place.¡± 5 - Meeting zip ¡°Come out,¡± I said, not in the mood to deal with pesks. crunch crunch crunch From behind a large boulder, a young teen boy slowly stepped out from the moonlit shadows of the large overhead trees. The boy bravely shielded the younger girl behind him while glaring at me. ¡®HAhahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!¡± The girl was surprised at my unrestrained laughter and let her guard down but the boy still stood vigilant. I smirked. ¡°How cute. Protecting the little girl.¡± The girl stiffened at my words. Her scared eyes were looking for reassurance in the young boy while the boy strengthens his grip on her. I continued to taunt them, ¡°siblings?¡± I saw the boy flinch. Ah, this was getting to fun. ¡°Aww¡­ An older brother protecting his younger sister¡­ Did something happen? Parents dead? Enemies chasing you? Bidding your time¡­?¡± The boy, making sure I was alone, rushed up to me and as he was about to slash my throat with a very interesting looking dagger, I blocked his arm and broke his wrist. With fast reflexes he tried a turn kick only to get his knees broken by me. Our little spar went on until I broke three of his ribs. At the end of our session, I stepped on his head as I had shattered both his knees and made him kneel. Under my boots, I stared at his youthful face all cut and bruised with his eyes crying blood. His stare was vicious, full of anger at me and worry for the little girl frozen behind him. I took his dagger with ease. Just as he was about to say anything I kicked him over and stepped on his throat to prevent any noise. As I was examining the dagger I saw the little girl trying to stab my heart with her slow weak arms and inaccurate aiming. I lazily blocked her arm, then grabbed her and threw her on top of her slowly dying brother. Before she could scream and cry I stepped on her throat. The girl was delicate, unlike the young boy. I couldn¡¯t step on her too much without actually choking her but her soft chuckled sobs were getting on my nerves. I wondered to myself, why should I keep her alive? I began to crush her tiny throat slowly, watching her forgo her ugly sobbing to gasp for air. I watched as she tried to look back at her brother under her, hoping he would help her, that he would be able to save her. And I hated it. I had lost all joy in playing with them. Just when I had decided to kill her, I heard a soft raspy pleading voice. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ sorry¡­¡± I glanced at him. I knew he was talking to me but I didn¡¯t know what he was apologizing for. However, I was not interested in knowing. I was about to crush the little girl¡¯s throat when I heard, ¡°I¡¯m¡­ yours¡­¡± Lifting my foot off of the girl¡¯s throat and hearing her gasp for breath so loudly made me madly regret it. However, before I could shut her up myself, the young boy quickly sat up and covered her mouth. I glared at him as he struggled to speak. ¡°Rylan¡­¡± he grunted. He then pointed to the girl whose mouth he still covered, ¡°Ingline.¡± I stared at the both of them with an eyebrow raised. ¡°So?¡± I waited. ¡°Train us. Help us. We¡¯ll be loyal,¡± Rylan spoke with conviction. Looking in his eyes was a mistake. ¡°Your loyalty is not worth my help,¡± I said curtly and promptly left. I felt my mind darken as I ran. I felt it, my mind slowly collapsing. Ahhh¡­ HoW ANnOYInG. 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?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????S????????????????????I??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????L?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????E???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????N?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????C?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????E??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. I ran and ran hoping to outrun the madness before it consumes me. I ran and ran and soon ran off the cliff and into the waterfall. As I hit the freezing cold water I became numb. Fighting the currents, I swam to land. The moment I jumped out the bone chilling wind blew and I shivered. It was nothing more than a physiological response. My mind has long gone numb. I didn¡¯t feel cold. I didn¡¯t feel anything. However, as the numbness of the cold started to wear off, the sound of the waterfall once again made their way into my ears. Suddenly everything little sound sounded grating, irritating, maddening. The sound of the waterfall, the sound of the flowing currents, the sound of the wind rustling the leaves ¨C they all made me mad. Uncontrollably frustrated. Why? I don¡¯t know. I needed something. I needed more. M??????????O?????????????????R??????????????????????E????????????????????? ??????????????????W???????H???????????A?????????????????T?????????????????????????????????????????????!????????????????????????? I felt myself getting agitated. I didn¡¯t know what to do. So I went crazy. I screamed at the waterfall to shut up. At the edge of the river I smashed the currents and tried to slash it with a dagger. My rage didn¡¯t cease until I had noticed a stream of blood flowing with the currents. I stopped, OH SHIT. Please don¡¯t cut yourself. I may be insane but not masochistic. I slowly looked at my dagger. To my pleasant surprise, there was a fish stuck there. I quickly got out of the river, built a fire, cleaned the fish, roasted it, and ate it. After eating my fill, I gave myself a full body check. Seeing no damage done, I went back ¡°home¡±. The moment I entered the cabin, I felt my body burn. I took a deep breath and went to change clothes. From a dark black skin tight jumpsuit to baby pink comfy pjs, I went and sat on the comfy black couch. I stared at the TV in front of me debating if I wanted to turn it on. The love hate relationship with sound was tearing me apart. I looked around the room. It was a very luxurious cabin. Wide open space with beautiful wooden furniture atop soft bearskin rugs and a warmly lit fireplace. It was the kind of space you¡¯d see in holiday movies where families would go on a family getaway. The only difference between them and me was that I was by myself in this huge space. Letting myself sink into loneliness, I suddenly heard a loud crash. I immediately put myself on high alert but I heard the doorbell ring. Following was a small voice, ¡°Please¡­ Help¡­¡± I don¡¯t remember ever hearing that little girl speak but I knew it was her. With an amused smile I opened the door to see her eyes widen in shock and terror. She was struggling to hold up her older brother who has long since passed out. I waited for her to speak but she kept opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish. I quickly ran out of patience and slammed the door in her face. I was tired. I decided to just go to sleep. However, the next morning I woke up to extreme pounding on the door. Irritated, I tore open the door and screamed, ¡°WHAT!¡± It was still the little girl with tears in her eyes. ¡°Please help¡­ My brother isn¡¯t waking up. He also has a fever. I don¡¯t know what to do¡­¡± ¡°Oh? Why should I?¡± With that, I slammed the door shut. But as I turned there was once again that obnoxious sound. Unable to stand it anymore, I unsheathed the sword right beside the door. I opened the door and stabbed the sword through the girl. I thought I could finally get some peace and quiet but that thought was soon destroyed. As I was about to withdraw my sword, she held onto it tightly. In between coughing up blood, she struggled to say, ¡°Please¡­ I¡¯ll do anything¡­¡± Ahhh¡­ it¡¯ s back. This feeling of irritation. ¡°There¡¯s nothing you could possibly do for me,¡± I retorted as I withdrew my sword. I watched as she fell to the ground, trying to hold onto her wound. Oh¡­ her head¡­ is at the perfect height for decapitation! WONDERFUL! I was about to cleaning slice off her head when I heard, ¡°NERAL.¡± I turned to look at the young boy. ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°Save us. We¡¯ll give you NERAL.¡± ¡°HAHAHAHA~ I told you, you have nothing that I want. NERAL? If I truly wanted them I would¡¯ve gotten them already~¡± ¡°What about NERAL¡¯s treasure.¡± ¡°Not interested.¡± ¡°PLEASE! ANYTHI ¨C¡° ¡°You know, the only reason you¡¯re still able to talk is because I¡¯m letting you live. But just because I¡¯m letting you live doesn¡¯t mean that I want you alive. By the way, I think your precious little sister is running out of blood. Good luck with that. MUAH~¡± However, before I could fully shut the door, we were surrounded. About 40 men in black garments appeared. ¡°HAHAHAHAHAHA! WE FINALLY FOUND YOU RYLAN! FINALLY, WE CAN PUT AN END TO THIS CHASE. SAY YOUR LAST ¨C¡± Before he could finish his sentence I had already sliced his head off. The rest of the men were surprised but being well trained, they immediately shot towards me. Using the headless man¡¯s body as a shield, I took the headless man¡¯s gun and shot towards the rest of them. Once I ran out of bullets, I took the nearest corpse to use as a shield as well as stole his gun to use. The pattern repeated until all 40 men were dead. Ahhh¡­ This¡­ I should just get rid of them. I¡¯m beyond irritated. I took my sword and headed towards the siblings ready to just finish them for bringing such trouble to me. But of course, before I could strike it down, I heard, ¡°Shadow. We want to be shadows.¡± ¡°ARGHHH!!!!!!¡± I angrily dragged them both inside with me. Locking the door behind me, I went to the staircase and inserted a metal card through a crack on the wooden hand rail. Slowly, the stairs inverted, descending downwards into a brightly lit hallway. I threw both of them down the stairs, blood trailing behind them. Pressing the nearby intercom, I said ¡°Fresh blood. Come and get it before it dies.¡± And without another care I closed the stairs and made my way to the kitchen for breakfast. 6 - We Are All Broken People ¡°Oh those were the good days,¡± Rylan said. ¡°I didn¡¯t remember much after you threw us in there but I felt safe. Even when I felt two shadows grabbing us.¡± ¡°Ahh¡­ Even though I love you now, I¡¯m still annoyed everything I think of that morning.¡± ¡°Well I wouldn¡¯t say I fell in love at first sight but while you did give off a dangerous vibe, it felt safe around you.¡± ¡°Oh? And you attacked first because?¡± ¡°YOU PROVOKED ME!¡± ¡°Ahh. Young Rylan. So hot-headed. So easy. So ¨C HAahahAHahaHAHAHAahaAH. STOP! TICKLING! ME!¡± ¡°NEVER! Haha¡­ But seriously, you were¡­¡± ¡°Broken? Empty? Robotic? Insane? I¡¯ve heard them all. Pretty much true though.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not ¨C¡± ¡°I am. WE are. We¡¯re broken people Rylan. Don¡¯t tell me that just because you love me that I¡¯ve filled up your whole heart. Because even you know it¡¯s true. It¡¯s true for you. It¡¯s true for me. It¡¯s true for all of Shadow. We are all broken people. And that¡¯s ok. Accept it. You can¡¯t be who you are today if your past didn¡¯t happen. Broken? We all are. Empty? We may not be empty but you know our hearts will never be full. We¡¯re always half empty. Robotic? We find comfort in routine. There¡¯s nothing wrong with it. If that¡¯s how you cope, fine. Insane? Well, we¡¯re all insane. We literally enjoy killing people. We enjoy finding ways to make them suffer. Sure, while we don¡¯t just go after anyone and the people we do go after aren¡¯t innocent, you can¡¯t deny we like the chase. We live for the night. We crave it. We need it¡­ You know, you¡¯ve always been here to support me. Mentally, emotionally, and¡­ physically~. But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like you¡¯re more unstable than me. I was always by myself. But you¡­ You had to look out for Ingline. The position of an older sibling is not something I can claim to fully understand.¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°Heh¡­ You¡­ You understand. You¡¯ve taken care of the members as your siblings. And don¡¯t tell me otherwise. Even to the older ones, you¡¯ve given them guidance. Sure sometimes they might be superficial words but the advice always hits home. I may have pressures of trying to hold up the sky for Ingline but you need to hold up the moon for shadow. As an older sibling I get your worries and troubles. But at the same time I can¡¯t complain to you about any of it. Why? Because your troubles are worse than mine. I have one sister. You have this whole family to worry about. So you¡¯re right. I¡¯m more unstable. I¡¯m just mentally weaker than you. So I lean on you when I can¡¯t deal. But you, even when you want to lean on me, I¡¯m always afraid I won¡¯t be able to hold up your weight. You want to know why I love you complimenting me on my muscles? It¡¯s so that I know at least there will be something I can help you with. It may sound stupid but I love helping you open jars and getting things away above your head. I love cooking for you, doing the dishes for you, doing laundry for you. I love pampering you even though I know I only get to do these things because you¡¯re just so damn lazy to do them yourself. I love doing it because it makes me feel useful. Like I¡¯m needed. I know you love me. You may not say it as much as I want to hear it but I know. I feel it too. But¡­ ¡± ¡°¡­ feelings do not equal thoughts.¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ How I feel sometimes just doesn¡¯t stop the voices that say everything is a lie and I¡¯m just downright delusional and insane.¡± ¡°And this is why I said we are broken people. But we¡¯re lucky enough to be broken together as much as it kills me to say that.¡± ¡°¡­ Well¡­ enough about that for now. Fein. Sleeper. Talk. Now.¡± ¡°Ha¡­.. I loved Fein¡­¡± ¡°But not as a man.¡± ¡°Yeah. Not as a man. I wanted to love him. I played out a love story with him. I wanted him to be this perfect knight in shining armor guy who would be able to let me escape from all this darkness. Because you know as well as I do that just because we love the night, it doesn¡¯t mean we want to live in it.¡± 7 - Ulpts & Blas ¡°GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHEN I GET BACK INGLINE BETTER HAVE AN EXTREMELY BELIEVEABLE SOB STORY TO TELL OR I¡¯LL KILL HER DAMN USELESS ASS!¡± In a fit of rage I stabbed every leaf that gently floated in my way. Grumbling, I treaded on an unmarked path back to the cabin. Minutes later, I stepped on a conscious man. Yes, conscious. I stepped on him but he didn¡¯t scream, wasn¡¯t startled, nor scared. Instead, he just stared back at me. My eye twitched as I was quickly running out of what little patience I had left. ¡°WHAT.¡± I said to him. ¡°Well you don¡¯t seem happy today,¡± calmly said the man. ¡°Well you don¡¯t seem like you want to live either,¡± I retorted. The man tried to get up but my foot still pressed on his chest. As if randomly stepping on a man in the middle of a forest near midnight isn¡¯t strange at all. When the man decided that he wouldn¡¯t be let up, he just plopped back down and began his monologue. ¡°Natural. Well it¡¯s the title for it right now. Not quite sure if they¡¯ll change it for release though. Anyhow, the story is about a boy being lost in the woods. It¡¯s a fantasy. The boy is from a made up race called Ulpts. Somewhat similar to a combination of fairies and elves and of course has a humanoid figure. The boy¡¯s name is Tell. He came from a loving family with a paternal grandmother, father, mother, and 2 other siblings. Tell was the middle child. As the middle child however, he never felt any resentment towards his other siblings. The older cared well for him while the younger respected him. Life was good. Until a tribe from the rival race, the Blas, came. Now they might be called a rival race but relations within the two races were fairly peaceful. They ¨C¡± ¡°You suck at story telling. Everything you just said was more of a word dump than anything. If you wanted to make me bored with the plot, well congrats, you¡¯ve succeeded.¡± ¡°Haaa¡­.¡± The man sighed. ¡°Just pretend I¡¯m an old man and listen to my ramblings. Back to the story. The Blas, technically the dark versions of the Ulpts, were, despite their dark magic, fairly peace loving creatures. However, dark magic has its consequences. The blessings of the moon, the source of power for the Blas, were weakening. No one knew why. Then one day, a fanatical member of the tribe came forth with his belief.¡± ¡°¡¯The moon isn¡¯t pleased!¡¯ he said. ¡®We are dark beings! Why do we submit to the light¡¯s societal ways?!¡¯ That member was Drog. He had always believed in evil ways. Drog had tribe to usurp the power of the village chief but in turn he was suppressed and exiled. A year later the son of the tribe chief was born. Drog managed to come back and put a curse on the newborn before he was finally killed. Juel, the newborn, was cursed to have loved and lost ¨C all those that he loved will eventually die by his own hands. The tribe chief and his wife sought countless wisemen to break the course and finally came with a solution ¨C taking away his ability to love. The - HEY! ¡± I started to walk away. His story telling was starting to piss me off. Did he want Juel to be the MC? I thought Tell was. What the fuck do they have to do with each other? Don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s some stupid clich¨¦ that Juel was in an arranged marriage with Tell¡¯s younger sibling. It could go either of two ways. The first, Tell¡¯s younger sibling was an absolute delight so Tell tried to get ways to break the engagement then have his sibling suffer a marriage without love. The second, there¡¯s actually something wrong with Tell¡¯s younger sibling and they¡¯ve become a perfect match! Either way, I wouldn¡¯t want the main protagonist to be Tell. Juel would be much more interesting¡­The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°I said HEY!¡± the man shouted from behind. He tried to grab my shoulder to turn me around but I grabbed his arm and flipped him over. ¡°The story went on for too long. It got boring, especially with your uninterested storytelling ways. Now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I¡¯ve got places to be and things to do.¡± I quickly lost him within the forest. Some feet away I could still hear his indignant shrills. I scoff at the annoying man and made my way back to the cabin. The moment I stepped inside, Ingline ran up to me and did a big kowtow. I looked down on her with distain. My mood had lifted a bit only to be dragged down further. I closed the door behind me, and without bothering to look at her any further, I went to take a nice long hot shower. I came out into the kitchen and fixed myself a nice little salmon toast, a scone with some clotted cream, and a cup of earl grey. I was putting everything on a tray when I noticed a shadow loom over me. It was Rylan, looking at me with a complicated expression. Not wanting to start the talk and ruin a nice meal, I took the tray and left. ¡°Meeting in the Undergrounds in 30 minutes,¡± I shouted back to him. I then went back to my room underground and ate in silence. However the silence didn¡¯t last long. ¡°Tell seems like such a na?ve privileged ass. Born in a cozy home, everything went perfectly fine until a change occurred in his life. A stupid change he didn¡¯t like and set off on a stupid self-righteous journey to justify villainizing Juel. WHO WAS A NEWBORN CURSED BY A DEGRANGED MADMAN! WHAT DO YOU MEAN ¡®LIFE WAS GOOD UNTIL¡­¡¯ THEY WERE SAID TO BE PEACE LOVING. THAT NOTHING SET THEM APART FROM THE ULPTS EXCEPT THEIR BLACK MAGIC AND MOON WORSHIP! AND THEIR BLACK MAGIC ISN¡¯T EVEN EVIL! IT¡¯S JUST DARK! WHY WAS ¡®LIFE WAS GOOD UNTIL¡­¡¯?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? THE MOOM BLESSINGS WAS WEAKENING. SINCE THEY WERE PEACE LOVING, THEY WOULD¡¯VE JUST BEEN SEEKING HELP. IT¡¯S NOT LIKE THEY FORCED THEIR WAY IN. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN ¡®LIFE WAS GOOD UNTIL¡¯? CAN¡¯T HANDLE A LITTLE INCONVIENCE TO YOUR PRIVELEGED LIFE CAN YOU FUCKING TELL!¡± I ended up screaming my rage out. I realized that since I hadn¡¯t bothered to listen to the full story that maybe it¡¯s not going in the direction that I¡¯m thinking off. But since I hadn¡¯t bothered, I¡¯m now left stewing in my mixing pot of emotions. I was not coming out of being in a bad mood today. Feeling resigned, I quickly finished up my meal and headed to the meeting room. I sat in my seat at the head of a big oblong table. I turned the table¡¯s screen and pulled up all the relating files to the mission. I impatiently waited as all the members filled in their seats. Rylan and Ingline were the last to come. ¡°Misera, the ¨C¡± Rylan started. ¡°Quiet. We will now start the debrief. Ryker.¡± ¡°Our information was leaked. There was a virus attached to Ingline¡¯s terminal. I¡¯m still working on tracing how it got there but it¡¯s a possibility it was transferred by close contact. The virus¡¯ main goal was false information on this specific mission. It had no other function then to throw off our calculations by 1 hour.¡± ¡°And that 1 hour was enough for Ingline to fail without suspicion from any of us. Except I sent her to a pop up mission and I took this one instead. I managed to complete it much faster than they anticipated and worked to eliminate me instead. They were well prepared¡­¡± A moment of silence overtook the room. None of them dared to move as I eyed each and every one of them. ¡°Ingline, you¡¯re under lockdown. I want everything you¡¯ve touched prior to this mission scrubbed 10 times over,¡± I ordered, watching her visibly fidget under my gaze. ¡°NON-NEGOTIABLE!¡± I shouted as I heard Rylan starting to protest. With that, I stormed off to my room and slept before my irritation got the better of me. But just as luck would have it, I couldn¡¯t sleep. So I pulled out the insignia pin I managed to swipe off the annoying man in the forest. It was a completely white shield, outlined in gold. The symbol the Arc. If the Blas were us Shadows, then the Arcs were the Ulpts. 8 - Rylan Brightens Up ¡°HOLD THE FUCK UP! MISERA. YOU¡¯RE TELLING ME YOU SWIPED OFF AN INSIGNIA PIN OF THE FUCKING ARC ON FEIN THAT NIGHT?!?!¡± Rylan unbelievably yelled. I looked up into the sky, debating whether it¡¯s time to tell Rylan who his great-grandfather was¡­ ¡°HEY!¡± snapped Rylan before letting out an exhausted breath. He pulled me closer and hugged me tighter. ¡°Please tell me what you¡¯re thinking. I just¡­ I can¡¯t¡­¡± I patted his head and caressed his cheek. Looking into his eyes, I asked ¡°How much do you really know about The Arc?¡± ¡°Honestly? I thought I knew a lot until you asked that. What should I know about them?¡± Sighing once again, I said ¡°I don¡¯t know if you were either afraid to ask, didn¡¯t care to ask, or were too stupid to even notice. If your great-grandfather was a normal civilian, how the fuck did he know how to fight like a mercenary and form an underground group?¡± Rylan was stunned silent. I rolled my eyes. ¡°I take it the answer was you were too stupid to notice.¡± I bundled us up in a tighter blanket cocoon and began to tell the story of his heroic great-grandfather.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Avengle was your great-grandmother¡¯s family name. Neral¡¯s original name was Arc. Neral Arc. You know the Arc as Shadow¡¯s rival but do you know in what way and why?¡± ¡°¡­ I¡¯ve never really questioned it but every time we ran into them they act like pompous jerks and arrogant assholes. Something about them just rubs me and the whole team the wrong way. They never explain anything but it always seems that their purpose is to go up against us.¡± ¡°So in conclusion you know nothing about them.¡± ¡°¡­ I guess so¡­¡± ¡°What is Shadow¡¯s purpose?¡± ¡°Our purpose? ¡­ I¡¯ve¡­ never really thought of that¡­ Revenge?¡± ¡°Hah¡­ Seriously, you¡¯re a leader. You should know at least fundamentally what you¡¯re leading for!¡± ¡°Well I have you!¡± ¡°That¡¯s not good enough! I need someone to be able to take over when I¡¯m not around.¡± ¡°But you¡¯ll always be around¡­ And if there really needs to be someone to take charge, we have Ryker for that! Why do you think we have two leads? The brains and the brawns. Together, we¡¯re perfect!¡± ¡°Oh. My. Gawd. You¡¯re starting to annoy me.¡± ¡°Well I bet you Ryker doesn¡¯t know the original purpose of Shadow either! I mean you¡¯ve been here the longest out of¡­ How¡­ Did you come to Shadow?¡± ¡°AND THE IDIOT FINALY OPENS HIS EYES! HUZZAH!¡± ¡°No. Misera. Seriously. How did you come to Shadow. I mean I knew you¡¯ve never talked about your blood family but I had always assumed¡­ We had always assumed something bad went down. But even if it did, it still doesn¡¯t explain how you ended up¡­¡± ¡°Ended up¡­ how? Here? Ha¡­.. Do you remember the night we fucked for the first time? Do you remember what I told you then?¡± 9 - The Start Of Us 9 years ago ¡°Misera!¡± S??????????H???????????????U?????????????????T?????????????????? ???????????????U??????????????????P??????????????????????????? ??????????????????????S???????????????????????????H??????????????U??????????????????T??????????????????????????? ?????????????????U???????????????????????P???????????????????????????????? ???????????????S??????????????????H???????????????????????U????????????????????????????????????T???????????????????????????? ???????????????????U??????????P????????????????????????????????????????!???????????????????????????? ¡°Misera! Look at me!¡± Rylan yelled as he griped my face tightly between his palms, forcing me to look into his eyes. ¡°You¡¯ll be okay. It¡¯ll all be fi ¨C¡± I kicked his shins and coldly watched him fall to a kneel. I WANT TO HURT YOU. I WANT TO KILL YOU. I WANT TO WATCH YOU SUFFER. I WANT TO RIP YOU TO SHREDS. I WANT TO PULL OUT YOUR INARDS AND WATCH YOUR EYES AS YOUR LIFE STARTS TO SLIP AWAY FROM YOU. I WANT TO FEEL YOUR HOT PULSATING HEART IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS AND SQUEEZE IT LIKE I¡¯M MAKING LEMONADE. I WANT TO FEEL THAT HEART STRUGGLE TO BEAT AS IT¡¯S BEING JUICED. I WANT TO CRUSH THAT HEART THEN RIP IT OUT OF YOUR CHEST, PULLING ALONG AS MUCH VEINS AND ARTERIES AS I CAN. I WANT TO BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD. I WANT TO COMPLETELY DISASSMBLE YOU. I started choking Rylan, first with one hand, then with two. Ahhh¡­ I¡¯m getting out of control. But I can¡¯t stop myself¡­ I felt Rylan struggling, physically and mentally. His survival instincts have kicked in but he¡¯s hesitating on hurting me. Rylan, Rylan, Rylan¡­ What have I thought you¡­ Before you can save someone else¡­ You need to be able to save yourself first¡­ I didn¡¯t truly put my efforts into killing him but there¡¯s this energy that¡¯s accumulating in me that had nowhere to go. I only knew what I wanted at that time and it was his blood. Rylan managed to get out of my choke and restrained both my arms. So I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist. Using a spinning force, I managed to throw him down with me straddled on top of him. But because he had such a good grip on my arms I went in for a bite on his carotid artery. He managed to shift himself, making me miss the artery but I still drew blood. The moment I felt his hot fresh blood pool in my mouth, instead of the satisfaction I thought I would get, I just wanted more. Though I still had no idea more of what. Not feeling the least bit satisfied, I thought MUST NEED MORE BLOOD. I set my eyes on his chest, craving to dig out his heart. I managed to wrestle my way out of Rylan¡¯s strong hold and managed to tear off his top. With my hands, still equipped with my sharp silver nail guards, I almost managed to pierce through his chest before he got me complete restrained again, pressed down underneath him. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Misera¡­ Look at me,¡± he said softly. But I didn¡¯t want to. I wanted to bite his face off. I snapped at his face with my teeth and managed to draw blood from his lips. Before I managed to snap at him a second time, he took my mouth in his, clumsily slobbering all over me. That shocked me out of the madness. I looked into his eyes with a completely blank expression. I saw him started blushing and so I chuckled at him. We maintained eye contact for who knows how long until I felt a drop of blood drip on my lips. I went to lick it clean and before I knew it I started to lightly suck on it. Since my legs were wrapped around him and he was pressing down on me, I felt the bulge in between my legs grow. We both awkwardly looked at each other before he moved in for a light kiss. Before soon, we both started to slobber over each other as the inexperienced brats we were. We weren¡¯t skilled but we knew where this was heading. He slowly let go of both my arms and started caressing my waist under my top. He fumbled under my top to grab my boobs as he dry humped my crotch with his. He certainly looked satisfied while I just felt¡­ weird. A bit turned on, but weird. While I was still trying to figure out how kissing worked, his hand plunged down my pants and into my slightly wet pussy. His rough and inexperienced exploration made it hurt but I was fine with that. When he had decided he¡¯d explored enough, he quickly ripped off all my clothes and his. I laid there awkwardly with my legs spread apart and arms on his shoulder, waiting and watching. I felt a jolt pass through my body as his cock started to push into my pussy. He became impatient and pushed his cock through with one big thrust. My nails dug into his shoulder as I let out a groan of pain. His cock naturally settled inside my walls, lower than where he initially pushed in. He once again slobbered me to help me get over the pain. He started moving and quickly came not many seconds later. He collapsed on me heavily panting and I just hugged him. I lightly played with his hair and we both fell asleep with him still inside me. We both woke up the next morning, awkward and embarrassed. He quietly pulled out and I instantly missed him inside me, even though it hadn¡¯t felt good. We silently cleaned ourselves up and individually went to take a shower. I cleaned my insides and took a Plan B. After getting dressed, I curled up in my bed. No matter how much I wrapped myself, I still felt cold. As I was trying to get comfortable, I heard my door open and saw Rylan awkwardly walk in. So I scooted over and he laid down next to me. I generously shared some of my blankets with him. ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asked, looking at the ceiling. ¡°¡­¡± Hearing no response he turned over to look at me. His hand hesitated before ultimately deciding to caress my face. ¡°What set you off?¡± he asked. ¡°Nothing¡­¡± ¡°Misera,¡± he said in a stronger, more serious voice. ¡°It¡¯s not something you need to know right now. Just let it be. Just forget about it.¡± ¡°¡­ I can¡¯t forget what we did¡­¡± ¡°Then don¡¯t. Don¡¯t forget what we did. Just forget what led to it.¡± ¡°Misera¡­¡± he whispered as he inched closer to me. ¡°I don¡¯t think that slobbering mess could be considered kissing,¡± I said quietly. ¡°We should practice some more¡­¡± 10 - Describing Is Hard ¡°Haha. We were what¡­ 16? 17? Didn¡¯t know what the fuck we were doing¡­ But¡­ You never told me what set you off. You came back to base and looked like you wanted to murder everyone. I had everyone leave us alone so I could try to calm you down but¡­ Well I guess it was a good idea for everyone else to scram anyways. ¡­ To be honest, I felt scared¡­ I had always felt that you¡­ were on edge. When you killed you looked so vibrant, so alive. But when you¡¯re not¡­ you looked so¡­ fake¡­ so fragile¡­ as if a passing breeze could crack you. It was as if any tiny thing could crumble you to pieces. And it wasn¡¯t just me, everyone thought that way¡­¡± ¡°I had¡­ never felt¡­ stable. It¡¯s like¡­ Do you remember? What I told you when we actually became a couple?¡± ¡°¡¯I will never be able to give you the love you deserve. Because the amount of love I possess is barely enough to keep me sane.¡¯ At the time, I truly didn¡¯t understand what you meant. But now I know. You have feelings. You can feel and express emotions just like anyone else. But you don¡¯t retain them for every long. The saying ¡®Happiness is fleeting¡¯ would perfectly describe it. Though for you, it¡¯s not just happiness. It¡¯s all types of emotions isn¡¯t it.¡± ¡°It always feels like¡­ my heart is an empty class bottle with a bottomless pit. No matter how much emotions are poured in, they¡¯ll eventually drain to oblivion and all that¡¯s left¡­ is emptiness. But that¡¯s not what I¡¯m getting at. ¡­ Actually, I don¡¯t really know where I¡¯m going with this¡­ It¡¯s¡­ not how full my glass heart container can get it¡¯s¡­ That night¡­ the container suffered a crack.¡± ¡°¡­ I¡¯m guessing it has something to do with the Arc? And quite possibly¡­ with me?¡± ¡°I¡­ You were¡­ annoying. The only reason I bothered to patch you up that day was because you mentioned Shadow. As you know, to declare that you want to be a Shadow, I must give you a chance. And so I did. ¡­ You know¡­ at that point¡­ for the past 10 years I ¨C ¡± ¡°Hold on. At that point you were 14. 10 years? You joined Shadow when you were 4?!¡± ¡°¡­ Why do you think I always avoid Clains City?¡± ¡°You¡­ are from Clains? But that¡¯s¡­¡± ¡°A city that¡¯s considered a man-made utopia? Hah! A utopia will never exist. But I guess you can consider Clains to be close enough. Rylan Avengle. I, Misera Isen, am very fortunate to be your wife.¡± I smirked at him while hold out a hand for a mocking handshake.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°You! ISEN?! As in the most wealthy and power family in Clains? That Isen?¡± ¡°Yes. The one and only missing heir of the Isen family. Right here. In the flesh.¡± I said with a sad smile. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ ¡± ¡°Despite being what people called the oh so wealthy and powerful, we were a pretty peaceful and down to earth family. My parents were very loving and spoiled me ever since I could remember. And I could remember a lot, despite being so young. I¡¯m a genius after all,¡± I said with a playful hair flip. ¡°But anyways, even if you don¡¯t want trouble, it¡¯ll always come knocking. See it¡¯s the usual story. A peaceful family got schemed on by some greedy rats. Well it¡¯s not like we were totally innocent. After all, to get to the top and stay there takes luck, skill, and a bit of dirty work no matter how much people deny it. See, after I was born, I ¡°surprisingly¡± inhaled some airborne poison. Barely affects anyone over the age of 5. But nearly lethal to anyone under. Being a newborn, it¡¯s pretty much a miracle I didn¡¯t just drop dead. Seemingly a Sudden Infant Death and no one would be the wiser. Too bad for them though, the air in my room was monitored very strictly. It was filtered out as soon as it was detected but apparently I did get knocked out for quite a while¡­¡± ¡°To this day, I still don¡¯t know if I¡¯m naturally a born genius or it was a byproduct of the poisoning but I¡¯ve always been¡­ mature? By 4, my thought process was at a teenage level. It was¡­ I guess a blessing and a curse?¡± I went quiet for a while to recollect my thoughts and Rylan just patiently waited. ¡°Hey do you think I¡¯m a psychopath?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ You might be more of a sociopath? Because I know for a fact you can feel. Maybe not deeply but you can. The disempathic type maybe? But you could be very aggressive too¡­¡± I silently stewed over what he said. Describing¡­ is hard. ¡°Being four but feeling like an adult is very¡­ can it be considered body dysmorphia? It was¡­ strange. Like I felt like I could ¡°adult¡± but my point of view, my strength¡­ It felt like I was an old soul trapped in a toddler¡¯s body¡­ My parents loved me. My older siblings dotted on me like crazy. They would always squeeze me and snuggle with me like I was a precious doll¡­ It felt really warm¡­ But at the same time¡­ empty? There was this¡­ disconnection¡­ I wanted to love them... I wanted to give them back the warmth they gave me. But I couldn¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t even do that awkward tsundere love. I didn¡¯t even feel guilty over the fact that if they were all to disappear the next day, I truly wouldn¡¯t care. ¡­ Eventually, that warmth became suffocating. You know, like how a warm room becomes stuffy. So I started sneaking out at night.¡± ¡°At first, I didn¡¯t go far. I just had to get out of the house. Then I started wondering the street. Well I mean it was a pretty peaceful neighborhood in a nearly utopian city. It was pretty ¡°safe¡±¡­ But like I said. Nearly.¡± 11 - The Beginning of Shadow cough cough cough ourph. gulp I watched as this man, dressed like an assassin from a fantasy world, struggle to dress his wounds. Though it was pretty obvious it wasn¡¯t working judging from the pool of blood slowly creeping out from underneath him. After a while I had gotten bored since he clearly was going to die and started walking away. ¡°Do you want to bet that before you could take another step I could throw this dagger straight through your skull?¡± said a gruff voice behind me. I guess this is the part where I should be scared or something. But without looking back, I answered ¡°Go ahead¡± and continued to walk away with a steady heartbeat. I didn¡¯t know what to expect but I had thought I would¡¯ve gotten to see something more interesting than a dying man trying to act tough. Deciding I¡¯ve enough, I went back home to my cozy bed and fell asleep. I continued my night roaming activities for about a month after that incident, hoping to find more interesting events to appear. Sadly, I always came home disappointed. Finally, I decided to just stay in one night. Too tired to wander. Seriously, who in the family decided on an Easter egg hunt? I was beyond exhausted. Just as I was drifting off to nothingness, I felt a shadow loom over me. Annoyed, I slowly turn over to see that almost dying man standing there. Though he didn¡¯t look like he¡¯d be dying anytime soon. ¡°Well well well look who we have here,¡± he said in a quiet but playful voice. I rolled my eyes. ¡°Great, a grown man with chuunibyou.¡± Continuing to ignore him, I turned over trying to get back into that comfortable position I was in earlier. However, before I could find that sweet spot, my 4 layers of blankets were peeled like an onion by that man. ¡°God dammit!¡± he hissed, ¡°How many blankets does this kid need? If you¡¯re so cold, why did you wear so little wondering out at night?!¡± ¡°Ahhh. Help. A pedo.¡± I said in a bored monotone voice while waving my hands unenthusiastically. The man glared at me. ¡°How would you know what a pedo is anyways?¡± ¡°So you are a pedo. Gross¡­¡± I gave him a disgusted once over. ¡°First of all young lady, personal preference is personal preference. We don¡¯t just as long as it¡¯s consensual. Don¡¯t give me that mumbo jumbo about how kids can¡¯t consent cause they don¡¯t know any better. They have danger radars as much as anyone. Also I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!¡± He shouted after a long rant. ¡°If you knew my room was sound proof why bother with whispering in the first place?¡± ¡°It was just funnier that way. But¡­¡± He gave me a questioning look. ¡°Aren¡¯t you gonna ask how I got in? How I knew the room was sound proof?¡± ¡°You gotta be an idiot if you think Clains is a utopia. So? Aren¡¯t you gonna get on with it? Do I really need to ask?¡± ¡°You¡­ truly are no fun. Well tell ya what. I see that you¡¯ll be the perfect successor for me. So why don¡¯t I help you solve your problem and you call me master~¡± he said as if he was doing me a huge favor. I rolled my eyes again. ¡°If you truly think I¡¯ll be your perfect successor then I¡¯m pretty sure you know what you¡¯ve just said was an insult to me.¡± ¡°Oh come on. I help your family get rid of any opposition and you help me run my place. Win ¨C win!¡±If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. I pulled all my blankets back over me and snuggled to get into my perfect position. ¡°It¡¯s not a win-win since clearly you¡¯re dumber than I thought you would be.¡± ¡°Look little lady I don¡¯t ¨C¡± ¡°Look you big dumb oaf, if you don¡¯t get to the point there¡¯s no longer any reason for me to waste my breath on you. Win-win? My opposition is your opposition. We have the same enemy. Don¡¯t act like you¡¯re doing me a favor Neral.¡± The man immediately became vigilant. His eyes grew sharp and that playful manner he displayed was no longer there. ¡°You¡¯re¡­ interesting¡­¡± ¡°You know, for a what, 90 year old? You¡¯re pretty in shape. Though I can¡¯t say the same for your brain. It¡¯s clearly degrading.¡± ¡°I¡¯m 89.¡± ¡°89. 90. You¡¯re still considered a senior citizen aren¡¯t you? You¡¯re just heading closer and closer to your grave and you know it. You¡¯re running out of time but your plans aren¡¯t in place. You¡¯ve also gotten weaker. After all, if you were in your prime, that knife wound would¡¯ve never landed. But now it¡¯s nearly fatal isn¡¯t it?¡± I smirked. ¡°You¡¯re playing a dangerous game missy.¡± ¡°No. You are. If you wish you redeem your capabilities in my eyes right now, I suggest you get to the point. Otherwise, see yourself out. I need my beauty sleep after all.¡± The (old) man took a moment of silence before a defeated sigh escaped from his lips. He walked to the nearest chair and plopped down. ¡°It is as you say¡­ I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m getting help from a 4 year old¡­¡± I waited for him to continue. But he took so long I started to drift off to sleep. When I finally reached the first dream cloud, it got pulled from right underneath me. ¡°Tell me what you know about me.¡± ¡°Do you wish to anger me?¡± I said in a furious voice, even though I knew it sounded childish and cute. ¡°Just tell me¡­¡± He said in a resigned voice. Taking a deep breath to calm my anger, I said ¡°Neral Avengle. Born Neral Arc, heir to the Arc family of Drones City ¨C capital of the underground world. Fell in love with a rival¡¯s family¡¯s daughter. The Arc family waged wars on the Avengles and only the daughter managed to escape. Eloped and took his wife¡¯s last name. Relocated to Dysus City where you made the Avengle name reappear. However, The Erries, a subsidiary family of the Arc kidnapped your grandson and managed to brainwash him. You can¡¯t bear to get rid of him but you also can¡¯t help but plan for what ifs. Though it¡¯s too late. He¡¯s already begun to act. Shall I continue any further? As much as I love seeing the light fade out of your eyes, I would prefer my sleep over dealing with you.¡± ¡°You know, my great-grandson is pretty cute. He loves to follow me like a little duckling. As much as it pains me, I just have to prepare him as much as possible for a grim future. My deal is ¨C¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t even heard it!¡± ¡°Whatever you want to say, it would probably require me to expend a lot of energy to do. How would that be beneficiary to me?¡± ¡°¡­ You are smart enough to know that the Arcs don¡¯t have enough power to influence Clains right now but they eventually will. You are the type that will only crush those to cross you. But they are not. They will crush all those that they wish to crush. There will be no future for the Isens if the Arcs aren¡¯t dealt with.¡± ¡°You know, I never got why we must consider the future. I get that it¡¯s good to have backup plans but we are living in the now. Why do I need to care about my descendants when I have things I need to deal with now. Why should I care about them when I have family I need to protect now?¡± ¡°You may think that way but ¨C¡± ¡°You¡¯ve spread yourself too thin. You¡¯re pretty lucky to be able to live through 4 generations of your family. But most people? They don¡¯t. If the family dies out, that¡¯s on whoever messed it up. You can¡¯t prevent a playboy being born 3 generations from now. You can¡¯t prevent a hikikomori descendant 7 generations from now. You can try to protect all you have now. You can try to educate all the ones you have now. You did a pretty good job with your son but clearly you¡¯ve failed your grandson. But that¡¯s not totally on you. Your grandson is your son¡¯s responsibility. He is the next head after you. It is his turn to rule the Avengle. If he can¡¯t keep is son safe, how can he keep the Avengle safe? Yes, one person may need help. I¡¯m not saying there¡¯s anything wrong with help. But this is what separates a king from his advisors. The king makes the decision in the end. And so¡­ Neral, you may no longer be king but you have one usable authority. What is your wish?¡± ¡°NERAL is no longer a haven for the Avengles. So take them. Lead them. I just want them to have a place to go. I want them to have a place to belong to. I know you can do that. That is the favor I wish to get from you. In return, you may use them however you wish. They will follow your commands. If you wish to integrate them with the Isens, you can. I just want to prepare a home for those who have followed me so faithfully all these years.¡± ¡°And your family?¡± He gave me a questioning look. ¡°I¡¯m assuming the Avengles you¡¯re talking about are the ones who were nameless. The ones who you took in and adopted the Avengle name. But I¡¯m asking you. What about your family. The blood ones.¡± ¡°Hahh¡­.. Leave it up to faith. Just¡­ make sure they get a proper burial if anything happens.¡± 12 - Feeling Human ¡°NO WONDER THEY FELT SO FAMILIAR! THEY WERE ORIGINALLY MY FAMILY!¡± Rylan exclaimed. ¡°I had always wondered where the rest went when everything was over. I just assumed they all died even though the lack of corpses was lighting a red flag in my mind¡­ But wait¡­ so Shadow is¡­¡± ¡°Mine. I made it from scratch. We didn¡¯t start out as ¡°Shadow¡±. Just a group of people loyal to the Isen family. Then eventually loyal to me. Afterwards, people from NERAL came. I may have accepted Neral¡¯s people but only if they qualified. Neral had no problem with that. Most of them made it anyways. The ones who didn¡¯t were the corpses you saw. Though some of them did choose to go down with the family.¡± ¡°¡­ So you knew my great-grandfather huh¡­ No wonder you weren¡¯t impressed when I said I could give you NERAL. You literally had the majority of it already¡­ You know I don¡¯t know how I feel about this¡­¡± ¡°Well I can¡¯t help you with that.¡± ¡°I mean I knew you were always a ¡°need-to-know¡± type of person but isn¡¯t this something you could¡¯ve told me long ago?¡± ¡°Well¡­ why? Why would I have told you?¡± ¡°But this is relating to my family! I told you I was out for revenge!¡± ¡°And I assumed you knew what you meant when you said you wanted to be a shadow. Now that you know your great-grandfather had a hand in accelerating Shadow¡¯s creation, I¡¯m assuming it¡¯s him that told you?¡± ¡°Yes¡­ He said if anything happened to us, we should become a shadow. It¡¯ll keep us safe¡­ However, to be a shadow means you¡¯ll trade up your life for it.¡±The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Your revenge matters not to me. When someone comes to us and decide they want to be a shadow, we will accept them. That is our rule. But those who know this rule would also know that once accepted your life is ours. We train you how we want to train you. We command how we want and expect your complete loyalty and servitude. Follow us and we will give you a family. A home. A place to belong. Betray us and we will be your grave. You decided to be a shadow. Your past no longer mattered for the most part. You want revenge? Do it yourself. That is, if you¡¯re capable. You asked why I¡¯ve never told you. On what basis did the need for you to know arise?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± His eyes were searching mine for a little warmth and a false sense of comfort. However I gave him nothing but a blank emotionless stare. He let out a frustrated sigh and pulled me tighter in his arms. He squeeze me hard as he said, ¡°I really don¡¯t know what to feel right now. I know. It¡¯s a hard topic. Either with me being someone you couldn¡¯t trust to tell or just wasn¡¯t the right time or you just didn¡¯t feel like it. But it¡¯s just¡­ I feel betrayed. I know logically I shouldn¡¯t feel this way but I do. But at the same time, I can¡¯t bring myself to be angry at you. Because there¡¯s this deep rooted fear that if I do something on impulse I¡¯ll lose you¡­¡± ¡°I would love to tell you to get rid of your insecurities but I can¡¯t since I know full well most of the time I purposefully cause them as a reflection of my own insecurities and instability. I also can¡¯t deny what you just said because knowing myself, I know I can just as easily walk away. But I can say that if you feel betrayed, that¡¯s fine with me. All I ask is you tell me. Tell me so I know where we stand. Don¡¯t just leave to ¡°cool off¡±. You know what I mean. You know me. You know when I know you storming off means it¡¯s not about us but something you need to cool your head on. But you also know when I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening between us. You can read me a lot better than I can read you. You want to feel emotions like a normal human being? Just tell me because I for sure don¡¯t know what emotions are supposed to feel like.¡± We didn¡¯t talk for a while and just drifted off to sleep. We barely slept before the sun had risen and glared at us. ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s go home,¡± Rylan said gently. I slightly nodded and we began putting on our clothes and packing up our things. We stuffed them back into the car and drove back home. 13 - Backtracking A few days passed since that impulsive camping night. I sat in our living room looking over some of Shadow¡¯s paperwork when Rylan gently pulled everything out of my hands. He then gave me a cup of rose green tea and sat down beside me. ¡°Can we talk¡­ about Fein? I know it¡¯s kind of my fault we got sidetrack but I just¡­ I want to hear you describe it best you can,¡± he said looking into his own tea cup. I gave him a glance before taking a sip. ¡°You know those stories? The ones where a prince comes riding in and saves a princess? Don¡¯t get me wrong, I love strong independent women and am annoyed as hell when coming across damsels in distress. But¡­ Just because I like being strong and independent means I want to come home to an empty house. I value family. I value a warm home. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s anything wrong with wanting to come home to a man. I like men so I want to come home to a man. It¡¯s as simple as that. Being strong does not mean being alone¡­ You know what I loved the most? Those oriental stories with the female protagonists. Sure they seem clich¨¦ but the character¡¯s journey in those¡­ These female MC were weak, na?ve, and trash. They were either reborn, transmigrated, or reincarnated. They went on to slap faces and found a 1v1 true love in a time where men were nasty pricks. Some had the ML¡¯s help to become stronger. I see nothing wrong with that. The help came with good intentions and it¡¯s not as if the ML has belittling his wife. Others had MLs grow stronger with the female protagonist. I love this type of story just the same...¡± ¡°Anyways my main point was POWER COUPLES. I wanted to be strong and stand beside a strong man. Someone who could support me and encourage me but also strong enough to keep my madness in check. He would be someone who makes me feel like just us two was enough in the world... I eventually found this in you. But only after Fein left. Because with Fein, I just gave up. I settled. Why? Call me weak. Unstable? Escaping from reality? Now you know. I¡¯ve been abnormal since I was 4. Doing this for so long¡­ I just¡­ I was just tired. I love our people. But you know my love can never go as deep as they need it to. You said you were mentally weaker than me and the fact that I¡¯m able to handle everything is evidence of that. But the truth was¡­ I was so close to crumbling. I¡¯m so full of cracks I feel like anything could just break me. Even a gentle puff of air could do me in. You¡¯ve become my glue but back then¡­¡± ¡°Back then I didn¡¯t notice. I was so obsessed with NERAL and Ingline I couldn¡¯t see you breaking,¡± Rylan whispered with a trace of guilt. ¡°Even though I knew you wouldn¡¯t call for help. I didn¡¯t pay you enough attention¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s really not your fault. We weren¡¯t¡­ truly anything but fuckbuddies back then. We both knew that¡­¡± ¡°No. You know it was more than that. What. ¡®No longer friends but not yet lovers¡¯? We were something but nothing good enough to be considered a couple,¡± Rylan sighed. ¡°You know¡­ I was in love with you before we started all that. I just¡­ couldn¡¯t show it. I was really excited for us when we started going somewhere. I just thought that once I finish fixing up my past, we could move on and actually begin ¡°us¡±. Blinded by an idealistic future I couldn¡¯t see what you needed. When you went to Fein I was jealous all the time. Once again, couldn¡¯t show it but it really hurts. Every night I would wonder if he was fucking you like I did. If he catered to your every needs like I would. I would constantly compare him and I and would internally stew on the fact that I¡¯m better for you. I can understand you. I can protect you. I grew to hate him. Just a rookie actor. What can he truly offer you? When you announced your wedding, I was¡­ shocked? Torn? Devastated? Not happiness that¡¯s for sure. I couldn¡¯t understand how he could support you if he didn¡¯t know a damn on what you really did. Stewing on your upcoming wedding¡­ I missed what Ingline was doing. I know it¡¯s no excuse but¡­¡± ¡°I never slept with Fein. We came close. On multiple occasions. But I always blew it off. It felt¡­ vanilla? To be honest, I couldn¡¯t¡­ feel a connection much less ¡°get it up¡± if you will. I knew I was settling. He knew I was settling. That¡¯s why he helped Ingline. In a way, I drove him to it. To help prove that he could be useful to me. He hoped he could be the bridge between us. And you know how that turned out¡­ You know. He didn¡¯t know about Shadow because I wouldn¡¯t let him know. If I had truly loved him, I would¡¯ve dragged him into our world. Forget all about that crap about being safer if he knew nothing. I¡¯m selfish. I know that much. I would rather die together than live without my other half¡­ Fein knew. Eventually, Ingline dragged him in. Because she¡¯s the same as me. And I guess you¡¯ve been wondering why she would involve Fein so here¡¯s your answer. She was in love with him. Everyone knew. Except you of course.¡±Stolen story; please report. Rylan turned to look at me in shock. ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­ ¡± ¡°You know, the Arcs¡­ They¡¯re very good at emotional manipulations. Too bad, Fein loved me¡­¡± ¡°But¡­ Why is Fein a¡­¡± ¡°Arc. Fein Arc. You¡¯ve never hear it since it isn¡¯t public record and just goes by his first name. But he truly is the youngest child of the current Arc patriarch.¡± Rylan became visibly agitated. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ I¡­ ARGG!$%^%$!!!! I DON¡¯T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY RIGHT NOW! And since when have you found this out?!¡± ¡°Are you an idiot? Didn¡¯t I say I pulled the Arc insignia off of him the first time we met?¡± I looked at Rylan with an ¡®unbelievable¡¯ look on my face. ¡°Only those of the main family would have an insignia pin.¡± ¡°HahaHaHAHahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!¡± Rylan laughed crazily. ¡°I¡­ Don¡¯t know what to THINK anymore. This is¡­ A LOT. Wait a minute, then why did you even consider settling for him?! He was an ENEMY!¡± After a slight pause, ¡°It was cute¡­¡± I mumbled. ¡°A Romeo & Juliet story¡­ I told you. At the time, I was weak. I was tired. If it all worked out, then great! If not, then I¡¯ll just blame it on a false love. Shadow¡¯s burden¡­ was getting too heavy, too annoying, too irritating to continue holding up. If a false love could destroy it then so be it¡­ was my thinking at the time.¡± A silence covered the room. Our teas became cold but we didn¡¯t care. ¡°So¡­ you wanted to run away. To abandon Shadow. Us. Everything¡­¡± Rylan turned to look at my but I continued to stare into my cold cup of tea. ¡°You still do don¡¯t you. Shadow¡­ no longer has a big existence in your heart. At least not as big as when you first started¡­ The only reason why you haven¡¯t passed on the seat¡­ Is because I¡¯m still here. And the only way you can remain here. The only way you can feel as if you belong here, is in your current seat. Am I right?¡± ¡°Yes. Speaking honestly, I wanted to leave a long time ago. I¡¯ve already set up everything. I¡¯ve handed off my duties slowly. All that¡¯s left¡­ If I could just hand it over, I can wash my hands of all of this¡­ I know it¡¯s na?ve. I can¡¯t escape the night. I can¡¯t expect to just walk away freely. People will come after me. Just my existence is a threat. So it¡¯s not like I¡¯ll give up killing. It¡¯s just¡­ Freedom? I just wanted to roam. Be a rouge for a while. Have nothing tethered to me. Decide for me and only for me. Be free of the pressures of having others rely on me. I just wanted¡­ to reply on someone. To have them make some decisions for me. Because I was tired of making them. The biggest reason I settled for Fein was BECAUSE he was an Arc. A potential threat. A potential borrowed knife.¡± ¡°So¡­ why did you change your mind? After that¡­ You could¡¯ve just walked away. Why did you come back to fix all of the messes Ingline and I made?¡± I gave Rylan a glanced. ¡°You begged.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t expect me to just believe me begging would get you to help. Why.¡± ¡°I had planned¡­ on fixing things yeah. But part of that plan was you killing me and taking over Shadow.¡± ¡°WHAT!!!¡± shouted Rylan, his voice cracking. ¡°WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO THAT I COULD KILL YOU?¡± ¡°It¡¯s exactly what it meant,¡± I said while looking directly into his eyes. ¡°When I saw the state of Shadow I realized that¡­ maybe I was needed¡­ Or more exactly, a leader was needed. But I no longer wanted to fulfill that role. In fact, I no longer had he will to even roam in freedom. I just wanted¡­ nothing. So I figured out a plan to get Shadow back on track while somehow getting you to kill me without you being overthrown by the rest of Shadow. It felt really easy to goad you into killing me. But having you accepted as the new leader of Shadow after that? That was the hard part. So hard, eventually I decided it was impossible. And so, you know what happened after that. Classic story. I seeked death with every mission and you brought back a sliver of my will to be alive.¡± 14 - Suicide Or Courting Death? ¡°Is everyone clear on the plan?¡± ¡°Yes but Misera, what are you going to do?¡± Rylan questioned. ¡°I¡¯ll work around it. No worries. Check in with Ryker if anything deviates.¡± I immediately left the vicinity without looking back. Though I did manage to catch a few words. ¡°Ryker what¡¯s going on. She hasn¡¯t been acting herself.¡± ¡°What is ¡°herself¡± Rylan? Just stick to the plan. She has her own. Deviate and you could mess up hers.¡± ¡°Ryker this is serious. IT¡¯S ALMOST A SUCIDE MISSION HERE!¡± ¡°JUST. STICK. TO. THE. PLAN. If you truly cared what happened, you would¡¯ve been here and not off in la la land for your petty revenge.¡± ¡°What do you mean¡­¡± his voice faded away. Rylan¡­ I guess this is where it becomes obvious. You have your path¡­ I have mine¡­ Suicide mission? I prefer to call it ¡°courting death¡±. I managed to get to the base of the Thurs¡¯ HQ undetected. A subsidiary family of the Arcs which manages the Arc¡¯s international wealth, the Thurs has been expanding too fast. It¡¯s been a sign that the Arcs were about to go global and once they do, it¡¯ll be harder to track the people associated with the head family. Right now, people are jumping at the chance to further their position within the family and it¡¯s a perfect time to cause some chaos. Our target today is both the physical and electrical money flow from the Arcs to the Thurs. The Arcs will be sending $99 billion in cash to Thurs HQ. After which, they will convert paper cash into digital credit. Why couldn¡¯t they just wire the money in the first place? It was illegally gotten cash in the first place. They just needed the transaction to be done with legal presence after which, the cash will once again disappear into a vault somewhere in the Arc¡¯s HQ. This is also how they continually pump out money. Since the serial numbers aren¡¯t checked for status, they just need legal presence to declare that so and so indeed had this much money and upload it onto an electronic bank account. After the transaction check, the Thurs will be free to move the money as needed abroad. The goal is the Red team will take care of swapping all $99 billion to 99 of our untraceable offshore accounts while the Black team will swipe the physical cash. And my goal? Annihilate the Thurs. I grabbed a leaving employee and incapacitate her. I took her badge, her purse, and her shoes. I may have purposefully aimed for someone with my shoe size. I threw on a wig with the same blond hair as her and took out a measuring needle. I stabled through her throat to her vocal cords and let the needle measure her voice waves. After getting her voice signature, I uploaded it to the voice changing pearl earrings and put it on. I did one last body check to ensure my disguise was perfect. After hiding the body, I put on a dust mask. It¡¯s allergy season after all.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. As soon as I felt ready, I heard some people walking my way. Judging by their badges, I knew they were from a different department so that chances that they knew ¡°me¡± was slim. I immediately pretended to be on the phone with ¡°my¡± manager. ¡°But we were supposed to clear out for the night sir! ¡­ No¡­ I don¡¯t think I can finish in¡­ the 15 minutes we have left! ¡­ I understand. I¡¯ll just grab it and work on it at home. Alright. I¡¯ll call you as soon as I have the file¡­¡± I finished my pretend call, still feeling the presence of the people behind me. I out on a sad helpless face as I turned around to face them. ¡°Rough night huh¡­¡± ¡°Yes¡­ I¡¯m sorry, I really need to go get the file before the shut down time.¡± ¡°No worries! Be quick! Good luck!¡± They all said. After bidding them good bye, I dashed inside the building as quick as I can and ran all the way to ¡°my¡± desk. I turned on the computer and logged into the files. What a surprise coincidence that ¡°I¡± just so happens to be in charge of the new building project proposal. Immediately copying the file onto a secure USB stick while also injecting a virus into the system, I waited for the download to complete. I pretended to take a stretch and looked around the room. It was completely empty except for me. Once the download was complete and the virus was fully uploaded, I opened the network terminal and immediately overlaid a CGI of ¡°me¡± finishing up, turning off all the lights and walking out. I then scanned ¡°my¡± card and inserted the card¡¯s key code into the visitation log, effectively showing ¡°I¡± walked out of the place. Within the darkness of the room, I logged out of the terminal and shut down the computer, leaving no traces of it being hacked. Changing out of my disguise, I then armed myself with 2 guns, each on a holster of a thigh, and 2 swords on my back, a katana leaning to my left so that I could easily pull it with my dominate right hand and a wakizashi leaning to my right so that I could easily pull it with my left hand. After packing up the disguise, I implanted mini bombs in one corner of the floor. I proceeded to do the same with the same corner with all the floors I could get to. After which I heard a small commotion. The main members of the Thurs family arrived at the top floor and have set up the trade. I waited until the transaction was done and the money moved downstairs. I quickly disabled the door and just went in shooting whoever got in my way. After I ran out of ammo, I took nearby corpses as shields and started hacking away at the remaining members. I killed and killed mindlessly. If it moved, I slashed. If it ran I stabbed. If it fought back, I hacked it to pieces and ripped out its heart. I chased anything and everything that moved like I was on autopilot. After the massacre, I was left alone, somewhere in the middle of HQs surrounded by corpses and a flood of blood. Tch. There was barely any challenge here¡­ Feeling unsatisfied, I quickly left the premise and moved on to my ¡°backup¡± plan. After quickly driving to the Thurs main home, I ram the car into the front gate. The noise attacked many but that was the goal anyways. I quickly got out of the car and using it as a shield, I grabbed the extra ammo from the car and shot my way out. When I had ran out of ammo again, I did the same routine of using corpses as shields as I hacked my way through. Men, women, children, seniors, descendants, or servants, if they were there, they were hacked. Once again on auto kill, I went through the entire home finishing up with one broken rib, a bullet wound in my left shoulder, and three slash wounds. When I finished, I stared at the ground as my blood mixes into the flood below me. I started feeling faint but I didn¡¯t want to move. I didn¡¯t even react as someone gently pried the swords from my hands. ¡°Misera¡­¡± the voice whispered. And with that, I blacked out with a single care. 15 - The Beginning Of A Serious Talk ¡°When you blacked out it scared the fuck out of me,¡± Rylan said quietly. ¡°You know, seeing a different you like that¡­ I should¡¯ve known it was a red flag. That whatever idealized plan I had wasn¡¯t going to happen.¡± ¡°¡­ Not really. A ¡°different¡± me I mean. To you maybe. But that¡¯s how I was originally. I¡¯ve only ¡°learned¡± to ¡°loosen up¡± over the years to the degree to which you met me. But that craziness, showering in blood¡­ I didn¡¯t fear death. I still don¡¯t. Doesn¡¯t mean I want a painful one. But it also doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll avoid it. Sounds suicidal but you know what? To me it sounds rewarding. Because to me it was a goal. Living to seek death. How ironic. You know how the more you seek something the less likely you¡¯ll find it? It was sort of like that. And if one day I do happen to die, then I can die feeling FINALLY, I¡¯VE ACHIEVED MY GOAL.¡± ¡°Are you still seeking death now?¡± Rylan whispered. ¡°Hmmm. I guess. But in a different way. If I die, I¡¯m dragging you with me. You know, dying together¡­ Doesn¡¯t that sound romantic?¡± ¡°¡­ I would normally happily say ¡®I would love to!¡¯ but this topic is too somber for jokes.¡± ¡°Nothing wrong with jokes in a sad atmosphere. After all, being sad doesn¡¯t equate being serious all the time. Plus, if you¡¯re gonna tell me to not joke in a serious time, you clearly don¡¯t know me well enough.¡± ¡°¡­ Hah¡­. I guess¡­ But can we be serious. Please,¡± he begged. ¡°Fine. ¡­ You know. Actually, I think I¡¯ll tell you everything. Not really cause I think you deserve to know but so you can deal with. What do you call it? ¡°Share the burden¡±? Yeah¡­ Let¡¯s do that¡­¡± I mumbled to myself. ¡°I heard that you know¡­¡± ¡°Stop interrupting me and listen to everything. ARE YOU READY FOR A BEDTIME STORY~¡± Rylan looked at me with a ¡®can you be serious just for once¡¯ face but I ignored him. ¡°Don¡¯t interrupt,¡± I commanded. ¡°I will start from the beginning.¡± Taking a deep breath, I began. ¡°Once upon a time in a land far far away¡­ There lived a 4 year old girl. This girl was super loved and super dotted on by her family. Despite being such a powerful family, they were very humble (though don¡¯t make the assumption that they were weak and merciful). The girl loved her family but she couldn¡¯t truly feel. Feel emotions I mean. It was like a nasty witch brought upon her a terrible curse. She could act normal and loving but she never truly felt the warmth she tried to give.¡± ¡°So she preferred the cold. It just made her more comfortable. And so with the cold came the night. Just at 4, she made a habit of roaming the nighttime streets. Though there was hardly anything to worry about since the place was so ¡°safe¡±.¡± ¡°One day, she met an old man, dying in the shadows. The man looked scary and even threatened her but she didn¡¯t care. She went on her own way. It was about a month later that that old man appeared in her room just as she was about to drift off to sleep.¡± ¡°The old man came to beg her for help. He had an eye for people and instantly knew that her inability to feel is a very valuable asset for people like him. He bargained with her. Use her connections (it was very obvious she had some) and create an underground organization for his people to call home. In return, she could use the people however she wanted. She agreed and made an organization solely for his people. She began to train under the old man and was eventually recognized by his people, who were now her people, as the new leader.¡± ¡°The people came to love and respect the young girl. But the girl thought nothing of it. As the girl got older, she got tired of feeling nothing. So she tried ¡°acting¡±. Always thinking ¡®fake it until you make it¡¯. She put on this idiot personality inspired by the stories she read of OP transmigrated MCs. The people around her didn¡¯t like it at first because it mostly creeped them out. Slowly though, they got used to it. Soon, they even though it was her true personality finally showing.¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°As the organization grew, more and more people were naturally added to the ranks. The new ones never knew anything about her old personality. They only saw the ¡°idiot¡±. Especially the newly integrated siblings.¡± ¡°When she accepted the siblings, she already knew they were descendants of the old man. However, since the old man had told her to leave his blood family¡¯s lives up to fate, that¡¯s what she did. She threw the siblings in to train with the veterans. Mostly those who came from the old man.¡± ¡°Over time, she began to warm up to the siblings. Especially the older brother. Things happened and she began to reveal her old personality. Her hidden personality. More things happened and the older brother and her became nice little fuck buddies. They were clearly more than friends. Everyone knew it. But it somehow never got the official title.¡± ¡°Maybe it was because the older brother became so focused on his thirst for revenge for his family that he didn¡¯t notice his sister has been tempted to betray them. Maybe it was because he didn¡¯t notice his sister has begun to betray them. Maybe it was because he didn¡¯t notice his sister has already betrayed them.¡± ¡°On one of the sister¡¯s mission, she came into contact with a known member of her blood family¡¯s rival family. This person then started manipulating the sister into thinking that her older brother was the true culprit and that he only kept her alive for her blood because he wasn¡¯t actually her brother. Fairly well placed evidence and some misunderstanding from vague answers because the brother didn¡¯t notice his sister was acting weird cemented the idea in her head. And so she started plotting. However all this never escaped from the girl of course.¡± ¡°The girl was, for the first time in her life, conflicted. She debated on telling the older brother. However the older brother was so into his plan for revenge and adamant that his sister stay out of it that the girl decided to just show him evidence. In a way though, she just wanted to show him in the cruelest way that he had been blinded by his thirst for vengeance that he failed to pay attention to what he was trying to protect. Seeing his love for his sister brought out an unfamiliar sour feeling from the girl¡¯s heart.¡± ¡°So the girl went along with everything the sister had planned. Went along with everything the rival family, or well now the official rival of the organization since they¡¯ve dared to provoke her, had planned. She intentionally switched one of the sister¡¯s missions where the rival had planned to attach a sleeping spy to the sister. You know, a spy that doesn¡¯t know he¡¯s a spy. The sleeping spy was not someone from the underground world. The rival had wanted to play with the sister¡¯s feeling of having a taste of having a life under the sun. Whether unfortunate or not, the sleeping spy got attached to the girl.¡± ¡°The distance between the girl and the older brother grew while the distance between the girl and the sleeping spy shortened. Eventually the girl broke off the ambiguous relationship with the older brother and started a fresh one with the sleeping spy.¡± ¡°The relationship went fairly well. They¡¯ve been intimate but the girl never truly gave herself up to him. She knew why. He knew why. She didn¡¯t truly love him enough. She wasn¡¯t even that attracted to him. Not even to the point of just satisfying an urge. But even so they tried to make it work. But as expected of a drama filled story, more obstacles wormed their way into the already giant gaping cracks.¡± ¡°The underground organization had a flourishing fronting company. The sleeping spy knew about the company though he had some suspicions about the girl¡¯s other life. Of course since it¡¯s a fronting company, all members of the organization ¡°work¡± there too. Makes it obvious the sister would be there too. Eventually the sister and the sleeper spy became good friends. Eventually the sister fell in love with him. Everyone knew except the brother. The sleeper spy obviously rejected her. The sister, who was still plotting against her brother, turned her attention to the girl. She became greedy and wanted everything the girl had. She plotted and plotted until the girl gave her one last warning. The sister didn¡¯t listen.¡± ¡°Instead she dragged the sleeper spy into her plans. He came to know about the underground and everything in between. He confronted the girl and they had a sweet heart-to-heart. The girl knew the sleeper spy was weak and couldn¡¯t truly do anything to support her but knowing he was there by her side was enough. However the sister grew even more jealous once she found out she had actually helped them become closer.¡± ¡°So she planned her last plot. She dragged the sleeper spy into her plans of revenge targeting her brother, hiding from him the implications the girl would get into alone with her brother. The sleeper spy no longer had a blissful ignorance. And he sided with ¡­¡± 16 - x ¡°Why¡­¡± I asked in a clear voice despite the flood of tears rolling down my face. I looked at the man in front of me, shielding my enemy. He was supposed to be mine. He was my fianc¨¦. But he¡¯s there, on my enemy¡¯s side. Shielding her from me. ¡°Misera¡­ You don¡¯t have to do this¡­ Please¡­ Just let it go. This thirst for revenge will never end. I can see that now¡­¡± he pleaded. ¡°Why are you pleading for her?¡± I asked in a soft voice, pointing a sword at the girl, lying on the ground, struggling for her life as blood continues to seep out of her. ¡°Just¡­ Misera¡­ She¡­ needed this. Please.¡± ¡°Then tell me. Why did she need this?¡± My voice was eerily calm. The man hesitated. ¡°Rylan isn¡¯t her real brother. He¡¯s the reason why her family is dead. She just needed revenge. Look I know the way it turned out wasn¡¯t¡­ ideal¡­ but you can fix this. Just give her Rylan. She¡¯ll take care of it.¡± ¡°Fein¡­ you¡­ are truly disappointing.¡± I saw him flinch. What he hated the most was being called a disappointment. As I looked into his eyes, I saw a fire began to emerge from the guilt. ¡°Misera,¡± he said firmly. ¡°When Ingline came to me at first, I didn¡¯t want to choose between you and her. I love you but I can¡¯t abandon a friend. I want to stay neutral. I still haven¡¯t really chosen a side. I just want what¡¯s best for everyone and I think just letting them go at each other is the best. You don¡¯t need to be involved. Misera. Let it go. We can be neutral in all of this! This doesn¡¯t involve us.¡± I looked at the man before me, the one who I had decided to marry. Even if everyone including us knew I was settling. The more I heard him the more disappointed I became. ¡°You think you¡¯re righteous? You think you have such a strong moral compass? TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU! BLOOD. BODIES. CORPSES. THIS IS WHAT YOU¡¯RE MARRYING. Or at least¡­ was. I thought you were good enough but clearly you are not. You claim to be neutral. Neutral my ass. You say you¡¯re neutral but you¡¯re on her side.¡±Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°I¡¯M NOT!¡± ¡°If you were truly neutral you would at least given me a hint. You knew everything yet did nothing to even the playing field. You are not neutral. You knew. And you choose to not tell me. You choose to side with her. Just blame it on your luck that you were simply at the wrong place and wrong time. Blame it on luck that you were unlucky enough to get dragged into this. The world is that cruel. I guess ignorance is sometimes bliss. But you were no longer ignorant. Everything you did from then on was taken into consideration of the knowledge you gained, whether consciously or unconsciously. And unfortunately, the moment you took her side, was the moment there was no longer ¡°us¡±. I waited. I tested. And it seems like the results are out.¡± ¡°Wha.. Misera what are you talking about?¡± He looked panicked. ¡°I know you didn¡¯t know the full story. But you never stopped and even thought to consider getting my opinion. You say let them handle their problems themselves? You were the one who got us involved Fein. You did nothing but believe Ingline. True, believing a friend, nothing wrong with that. But believing a friend over your fianc¨¦e¡­ I guess it¡¯s ex-fianc¨¦e now.¡± ¡°Wait I don¡¯t understand! What are you talking ab¨C¡± ¡°The choice was made clear. You chose her over me,¡± I interrupted. ¡°I had told you once. I expect complete honesty. And you lied. You lied by omission. You claim you were accepting of me and how I run things. Then what is this? Why are you standing in front of me, shielding her from me? You claim self-righteousness when you know fully well we are part of the underground world. That kind of moral compass doesn¡¯t work down here.¡± I was no longer in a mood to talk. I said to Rylan, ¡°Take care of the rest.¡± I immediately moved past Fein and slashed at Ingline, intending to decapitate her but Fein had tried to hold me back, hindering me. I was giving him one last chance, purposefully moving slow enough so that he could try any last minute attempts¡­ I was truly disappointed. Before I could free myself from Fein, I saw Ingline roll herself off the cliff into the raging waters beneath. I glared at Fein. ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡± he stuttered. I slashed an x his left hand and threw my engagement ring at his feet. I watched coldly as he sank to his knees cradling his bloodied hand. I blankly stared as his blood dripped on the ring. Wanting nothing more to do with him, I turned to my men. ¡°Don¡¯t bother about the body. Just look out for news about her. We will do some restructuring tomorrow. Rest up¡­ And knock ¡®him¡¯ out.¡± A code word for memory removal. 17 - A Vacation ¡°And so the girl and her organization underwent a thorough purge. During the purge, she and the brother worked out some things¡­ But I¡¯m pretty sure you already know that story.¡± ¡°I never understood though¡­ Why you didn¡¯t bother looking for the body. It wasn¡¯t like you. You NEVER leave a job unfinished. If something seems iffy, you¡¯ll chase it down until the doubt is grinded into dust. So why didn¡¯t we look for Ingline¡¯s body?¡± ¡°You said it. I¡¯ll chase it down until it¡¯s dust. So it just means I knew she didn¡¯t die.¡± ¡°WHAT?!¡± ¡°Rylan, even with Fein there was a pull between me and you. We all knew it. Yet we made the choices we did. Why?¡± ¡°I¡­ The same way you were with Fein, I never gotten anyone new. Not that I really had the time for it but¡­¡± ¡°Spite? Escaping reality?¡± ¡°Maybe?¡± ¡°Ha¡­ When Ingline rolled herself off, I was just so tired. I didn¡¯t care. I didn¡¯t care if she¡¯d come back, possibly even stronger. I didn¡¯t care if she¡¯d come back at all. I just wanted to be done. So I left it at that.¡± ¡°We¡¯re useless followers aren¡¯t we?¡± ¡°¡­ It¡¯s not like I expected you to notice.¡± ¡°But we should¡¯ve!¡± ¡°Why? Why should¡¯ve you noticed?¡± ¡°BECAUSE! We care about you just as much as you care about us, if not even more. Just because you were so efficient that things doesn¡¯t mean we should rely on you for everything. You¡¯re human. You¡¯re made of flesh and bones. You bleed. You get injured. You ¨C ¡±Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Humans are weird creatures aren¡¯t they? A species whose only redemption is their large brains. And even that brain sometimes have problems.¡± ¡°Are your thoughts trailing to why ¡°life¡± exists again? Just let it be. Whether there¡¯s no greater power or we¡¯re all just puppets with the delusion of free will, just let it be.¡± ¡°You know¡­ humans don¡¯t like the unknown. You never need a reason to stay in your comfort zone. You need a reason to leave.¡± ¡°But you never really left.¡± ¡°I know I¡¯ve been called the ¡°Bloody Fool¡±. I don¡¯t mind. In fact, I think that¡¯s a fairly accurate description¡­ A fool that deceives¡­ It seems like I¡¯m outgoing doesn¡¯t it. Always joking around. Always having fun. But I¡¯m just empty. My life seems fun huh. It¡¯s the clich¨¦ story. The brightest person in the room is the loneliest. My life seems fun but not fulfilled. I like listening to other¡¯s stories just to feel vicariously through them. Even the plainest person has stories in which you can really see the spark of life in their eyes as they tell the tale¡­ Sorry. I¡¯m just rambling now.¡± ¡°I feel the same. I may not be as empty as you but I get it. I get that feeling of wanting to escape the darkness just for one moment. We all do. We just never really thought about it since you were our lighthouse. Cheesy I know. But you kept us afloat. I guess we just forgot¡­ that a lighthouse still needs power from somewhere¡­¡± ¡°¡­ Hey what was the point of this talk? I feel like we¡¯ve just been going in a circle talking how broken we are.¡± ¡°Haha¡­ We were talking about Fein¡­ The Arc? NERAL? I don¡¯t know anymore. This is way too much information to process.¡± ¡°¡­ Why did you want Fein to join?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. As your husband I wanted to flaunt ¡°us¡± to his face. As a team leader I truly feel like he might actually be able to replace Ingline. However, as a member of Shadow, I guess I just want to keep a close eye on him. You know, ¡°keep your friends close but your enemies closer¡±. And to be honest, after knowing all this, I still somehow feel the same. Though the ¡°keep your enemies closer¡± feeling is winning though.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t question your judgement. Hell, I can¡¯t. I don¡¯t have a clear mind on this. So I¡¯ll trust you. I only want to ask one thing. Are you able to handle him?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Then that¡¯s all I need. We have a couple more days until your offer expires. So why don¡¯t we just ignore this giant gaping problem and run from reality for these next few days. Take a vacation while we still can.¡± ¡°My pleasure~ Though I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll be able to see much of the scenery~¡± 18 - Name ¡°Misera, I need to ask. Why are we named ¡°Shadows¡±?¡± I looked over at Rylan as he continued to watch the sunset over the horizon. The sun was clearly disappearing into the ocean but the water was so clear, so reflective, there was no clear distinction between it and the sky. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with the name Shadows?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ It just sounds¡­ like chunni?¡± ¡°To be honest you¡¯re not the first person to question it. Though you are the first person to wait so long to ask.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not funny!¡± ¡°Oh it is. I can see it now, you lying awake at night questioning why we have such a chunni sounding name¡­¡± ¡°So are you gonna answer or what?¡± ¡°Hah¡­ Clarins Arc, the current patriarch of the Arc family. Did you know he¡¯s a paranoid bastard? So paranoid he¡¯s afraid of his own shadow. No, more like extremely afraid. Even the word ¡°shadow¡± repulses him. It makes sense doesn¡¯t it? A newcomer will always try to not stir up too much trouble in order to be able to grow. So what better way to grow under his feet than to be named after something he refuses to even look at?¡± I could see the confusion in his face as the gears being to move in his head. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because his shadows remind him of what he lost¡­ Do you wanna hear a story~?¡± I asked in an annoying voice while poking his ribcage.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. Rylan looked at me with a serious face. ¡°This is gonna be another of those sad background stories isn¡¯t it.¡± With a sad smile, I responded ¡°Yeah¡­¡± ¡°But whose is it¡­?¡± ¡°What do you know about the Isen family?¡± ¡°Well¡­ They¡¯re wealthy and powerful¡­ But as to the specifics I haven¡¯t gotten much¡­¡± ¡°In Clains, the Isen family and the Arc family are both equal in power. They balance each other out. And while the world may see that the two families are always on each other¡¯s necks, they got along quite well¡­¡± ¡°Until¡­?¡± ¡°Until Clarins¡¯ wife, Tally died¡­ during Fein¡¯s birth.¡± ¡°Fein is Arc¡¯s heir?!¡± ¡°No, his older brother Maddel is.¡± ¡°You know I would like to think myself as open minded but the information I¡¯ve gotten these past few days has really made my head hurt.¡± ¡°Why do you think we¡¯re on a vacation? An escape? Who was the one who brought up this subject in the first place?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t think that just asking about our name¡¯s origin would lead the damn topic back to the fucking Arc. Why can¡¯t we get a fucking break from them?!¡± ¡°I will tell you this right now. We will always be connected to them. Whether we like it or not¡­¡± ¡°¡­ Can we put the story on hold? Please. I just want this escape. Let¡¯s enjoy the sunset yeah?¡± ¡°Haha¡­ Yeah¡­¡± ¡°Ha¡­ I feel like I¡¯m starting to really understand why¡­¡± ¡°Why what?¡± ¡°I felt betrayed when you told me you wanted to leave. Leave everything behind, even me. But I¡¯m starting to get it now. And this just proves my point. You¡¯re strong. I would¡¯ve packed my shit up and be out a long time ago¡­¡± ¡°No, in some ways, I do admire those who could just leave. Deciding between responsibility to others and responsibility to themselves¡­¡± ¡°Well you know what. If you ever want to leave¡­ Just take me with you. Don¡¯t leave me behind. That¡¯s all I ask. We can escape. Run away. Forget everything here¡­¡± ¡°You know how tempting that sounds. Just like you know it¡¯s not feasible. The only reason we haven¡¯t done it is because this particular problem will always chase us. Might as well deal with it now¡­¡± ¡°¡­ The sun has set¡­¡± ¡°Left?¡± ¡°Right. I swear, we can¡¯t even get a damn vacation?!¡± 19 - Questioning Your Morality Now? ¡°Ha¡­ What do we do with the bodies?¡± ¡°Just leave them. They¡¯ll be cleaned up sooner or later. Don¡¯t waste our time on something so insignificant.¡± ¡°Man¡­ I just wanted a vacation¡­¡± ¡°Come on. Let¡¯s go back. If we can¡¯t relax, we might as well do work in our own territory.¡± As our private jet was about to take off, Rylan just had to open his damn mouth again. ¡°Are we monsters?¡± ¡°You know I love you and all but do you have to keep talking?¡± ¡°Just¡­ I know. I¡¯m asking a lot of questions and bringing up some useless points but it¡¯s just¡­ There¡¯s so much information that I just¡­.¡± ¡°How the fuck did you even arrive at us being monsters?¡± ¡°I mean, we kill. We feel no remorse for those we kill. And it¡¯s not like we¡¯re going hunting. It¡¯s like a constant war. Just some times after, you start to feel numb.¡± ¡°I¡¯m honestly worried if you¡¯re starting to question our existence right now. What¡¯s brought on this whole moral train?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ Trying to understand everything¡­ Fein is an Arc. But he¡¯s not our target. The Arc is our target but it¡¯s so vague. I understand going after the head of the family and dealing with all those in our way¡­ But the Arc is using Fein if he doesn¡¯t know he¡¯s a sleeper. We¡¯re planning on using Fein for our own petty satisfaction. I know Fein was a catalyst to all that happened and I can¡¯t help but hate him for what he chose to do. But¡­ Even if you¡¯ve never said it, he¡¯s a pawn for the Arc family isn¡¯t he? He¡¯s ¨C ¡± ¡°Once you¡¯ve become the victimizer, you are no longer just a victim. The world isn¡¯t black and white. This is something that we know very well. Although I will admit that there are some whose deeds are easily judgeable, who¡¯s right and who¡¯s wrong depends on perspective. The moment Fein encountered me was the moment he got thrown into this world. Like a white paper stained with ink, he can¡¯t just fake ignorance anymore.¡± ¡°¡¯He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.¡¯ I¡¯m beginning to see why you love this quote so much. It¡¯s more than just a reminder to us. It¡¯s a warning isn¡¯t it.¡± ¡°Reminder. Warning. Does it make a difference? Just remember it. Light can¡¯t exist without darkness. Darkness can¡¯t exist without light. But just because they balance each other doesn¡¯t mean they are equal. Do you know what¡¯s the opposite of shadows?¡± ¡°Light?¡± ¡°No. The opposite of darkness is light. The opposite of shadows are the things that block the light and therefore creating the shadows.¡± ¡°So is this the part where you say no matter how much you run towards the light, your shadow will always be behind you?¡±Stolen novel; please report. ¡°Why do you think Clarins is so afraid of his shadows? He can¡¯t get rid of it no matter what.¡± ¡°This is becoming more of a deep philosophical talk, way more than I bargained for. Why does everything lead to the Arc?¡± ¡°Well sorry that my brain trails there.¡± ¡°¡­ Hey. You¡¯re on a train headed to a tied up group of 10 people. You have a chance to pull the lever and divert the train to a track headed for one tied up person. Would you do it?¡± ¡°Ha¡­ this type of question huh¡­ How did you end up here? What are the conditions?¡± ¡°Just answer. No conditions. Not yet.¡± ¡°Then yes, I would pull the lever.¡± ¡°What if that one person was me and the group of 10 were strangers?¡± ¡°Then obviously I would not.¡± ¡°You answered that pretty quickly. No hesitation what so ever.¡± ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be that much of a surprise. What do you strangers mean to me? Nothing. Look. I never claimed I was a saint. I never even said I was a good person. The world is grey. Like I told you, most ¡°good¡± and ¡°evil¡± depends on perspective. Why should I save them? For the ¡°greater good¡±? What is the greater good? You do know that morality changes depending on the situation right? Do you think we¡¯ll still keep our current values if there was a sudden apocalypse? There can be a bunch of ¡°what ifs¡± scenario. You can debate the answers all you want. But you¡¯ll never truly get an answer until you actually experience it yourself. After all, talk is just talk. Let¡¯s say you¡¯re a surgeon who¡¯s never failed a surgery. 10 people come into the hospital, all with different organs failing. Kids, adults, seniors¡­ whatever mix that makes you pity them the most. You¡¯re the only one in the hospital for whatever reason. However, at that moment, a healthy janitor walks in. Given that organ rejection isn¡¯t a thing, what would you do?¡± ¡°I¡¯d let them all die. What does the janitor have to do with them? It¡¯s not like the janitor committed some crime right? He just innocently walked in to do his job. Why should he be sacrificed?¡± ¡°Reason?¡± ¡°Quality over quantity? What would you do?¡± ¡°I¡¯d let them die too. But maybe I¡¯ll take the rest of the usable organs of the first to go to save the other 9. Maybe I won¡¯t feel like doing surgery at all. Maybe I¡¯ll let them all die, harvest their usable organs, get the janitor to clean up the mess, and sell it to the black market. Janitor gets a cut of course. There are so many possible outcomes. After all, why would there be a single surgeon? Where are the nurses? Where¡¯s the rest of the staff? The scenario seems to question your morality but really, there¡¯s just not enough information to truly see what¡¯s ¡°right¡± and ¡°wrong¡±. Maybe he janitor wasn¡¯t innocent. Maybe he was a hitman in disguised. Then they¡¯d all be dead.¡± ¡°You¡¯re starting to trail again. It¡¯s becoming a story now.¡± ¡°The point is, knowledge and information affects your priorities. This is one of the reasons why I always stress knowing everything.¡± ¡°But I still can¡¯t understand. How are you able to make such cold decisions sometimes? Knowing something doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯ll cut off your feelings. It¡¯s just¡­ My deep fear is¡­ You¡¯ll eventually drop me like you did with Fein so easily.¡± ¡°Hello! We finally get to the problem! I was wondering where this was leading to.¡± ¡°Misera, I¡¯m serious.¡± ¡°I told you before didn¡¯t I? I¡¯m selfish. I will fight for our love if you give me enough reason to believe in it. But because I¡¯m selfish, I will also abandon our love if I see no reason to continue it. I will fight for my happiness but not if it breaks me. I will not fight for a life of having one day of happiness for a year full of pain. You can guess which one Fein gave me. And yes, I¡¯m able to cut feelings. You just get used to it. Whoever said feelings will get you killed isn¡¯t completely wrong. We don¡¯t live in a white house with a picket fence. We don¡¯t work a 9 to 5 job where our biggest concern is making ends meet or health insurance. We kill. We do the dirty work because there is no such thing as a utopia. Our job is literally kill or be killed. But just because you¡¯re in survival mode doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t feel. You get used to it. It just means you¡¯re able to move on faster.¡± ¡°How long does it take before you get ¡°used¡± to it?¡± ¡°Depends on the person. I never said this life was for everyone. If you want to survive, get used to it.¡± ¡°I ¨C ¡± ¡°Lady and gentleman this is your captain speaking. We have arrived in ¡­¡± ¡°If you wish, we can continue this later.¡± ¡°Wine and steak over the fireplace?¡±