《Ghoulish insanity (incomplete/finished)》 Prologue. The pain brings me back, and I blink, opening my eyes. Agony has long since seeped into my body, my bones, my very being. Every torn piece of flesh, burn mark or carefully carved wound inflicted upon me throbs unceasingly, radiating an aura of suffering. It''s a good thing I''m numb to it by now. Numb to everything. "She was out 2 minutes flat this time. Tenacious bitch is finally starting to break down. Bit like my old piece of shit Lada. Abuse anything enough and the cracks start showing." Frank mumbles. The psychotic bastard keeps a journal, often speaking into a little recording device then chuckling darkly, especially when he''s playing, as he calls it. I stare up at the ceiling. It''s blood red, hazy and swirling. My vision swims and my eyes fog over. To me the ceiling is red. Crimson. Scarlet. Even though I know it''s not, to me it is. It''s a hellish red pit of pulsating scarlet, a small chamber of hell, with Frank playing the part of the devil. Even were my hands not bound to the bedpost with a length of coarse old rope biting into my bloodied wrists, I wouldn''t have been able to move much in my current state. The dried, caked blood is everywhere, on the bed and on the ropes around my wrists. If I was not in such a sorry state, I''d have tried to kill him, maybe bite his neck. Can''t do that now though, the ropes are too tight and my body is too weak. I''m fading... I swear to God, if I ever get a chance Frank. You''re a dead man. In one filthy corner of the small dark room, a very old nearly antediluvian, gunked up square television blares loudly, taunting me with its pale blue light flickering into the black gloom. The news anchors haven''t stopped reporting on the missing 33 year old woman. Every single day for a fucking month the useless idiots blabbered on about me, sensationalism at it''s finest. All talk and no action, but hey, I''m bringing up ratings! You''d think there were more important matters to discuss in the world than my case. It disgusts me that they talk and talk, and nothing happens. Nothing ever happens. I''m still here, still being poked and prodded and tortured by Frank, although I have a feeling that the end of my trials are near. Today, the news anchor taunts me with yet another fucking lie, telling the masses that police uncovered further clues to the whereabouts of... yeah piss off. Not, going, to, happen. I feel his hands close around my throat again. My vision swims. I''m too dizzy to stay conscious for much longer. I just want it to end. I want to die. I don''t care any more, just do it! A last hurrah of my failing sense of humor replays that thought in the voice of Shia Lebouff. Of course, I don''t smile. Can''t do that with my face taped over, now can I? What''s left of my face anyway. Yesterday Frank made me watch as he cooked and ate one of my cheeks right infront of me, I think it was the left one? It didn''t hurt then, and it doesn''t hurt now. It hurts but doesn''t hurt... am I truly broken? All I feel is the seeping cold, nothing else. No other sensations, just cold. And hate, too. My hate is especially cold. I don''t feel human any longer. Haven''t felt human for a long time now. "I''m tired of you... the torture doesn''t make you scream and cry like it used to. It''s like you''ve stopped working... maybe I finally broke you? Frank says. Then he chuckles to himself and shakes his head. I think tonights the night babe. I found a real good piece of work. She''s only 13, but damn she''s hot. Shame you can''t see her, oh how I will enjoy torturing her and ruining her appearance bit by bit like I did yours. Yup, tonights definitely the night, your big night! Have to take out the trash to make space for the princess I''m bringing in next." Frank remarks, a cig hanging loosely from his cracked lips. Although those cracked lips are curled into a smile, his voice is flat. He doesn''t care. "Of course, shit like that don''t matter to a corpse like you." Frank chuckles. "Was gonna say woman, but can''t really call you that now can I?" I was sick of this, sick of him. I wanted him to die. I wanted to die. The fucker was not a rapist, oh no. There was something profoundly wrong with him though. Something that made the bastard kidnap and torture women. Perhaps he had a bad experience with a bitch in the past, but just because of that, he decides to take it out on everyone else? It doesn''t make any sense! But then again, psychotic insane murdering bastards rarely make much sense, do they?Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. "I think it was around the time where I cut off your tits. Frank muses to himself. I don''t know whether he fancies himself a morbid shakespeare or what, but he''s been leveling up his monologue skills for quite some time now, always clutching that shitty little cylindrical recording device in his hand like it''s a spare penis. I''ve seen him go for days on end just rambling to himself while he mutilates me and sips whiskey with a cig hanging from his mouth. A grotesque parody of a man working over his car in his garage, perhaps? Was that a week ago? Yes, that was when you ceased to be a woman! Hahah!" Frank chuckles. I feel the grip tighten around my throat, constricting, choking. My head feels like it''s going to pop. The last thing I see before the darkness takes me, is a pair of empty black eyes staring down at me dispassionately as if to say, just die you useless whore, you waste of resources, you impersonation of a human, you fake bitch. - - - About damn time he got around to killing me. Wait, why can I still think?
Error: Earth System overridden due to outside interference. Soul transference initiated.
Soul transference complete: Welcome to Aliotal. Go forth and live your new life!
Ping: Eian, God of beginnings has granted you his blessing. +20% to all attribute gains. Title: Summoned Hero gained.
Warning: You have died. Due to lingering resentment and an unquenchable thirst for revenge, you come back as an undying abomination, the Ghoul.
Ping: Blessing of Eian lost. You have disappointed and displeased the God of beginnings. Curse: -100% to all attribute gains. Title: Summoned Hero lost.
Ping: Titon, God of Light has cursed you, undying abomination! Sunlight slowly kills you. When exposed to the sun and when outside in day time, -50% to all attributes.
Warning: A cold chill seeps into you as the gaze of Syotl, Goddess of Death, settles on you.
Warning: The red mist of hatred and revenge permeates your soul as the eyes of Extar, God of Revenge, settles on you.
Ping: Your soul is of interest to the forces of darkness. Blessing of the Demon Monarch acquired. Title: Demon Monarch Acquired. 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. Extar has high hopes for you. It has been two millenia since the last Demon Monarch walked Aliotal. Show them the fear they have forgotten.
Ping: Blessing: Call of the Grave Queen acquired, consuming the flesh of your slain enemies will now allow you to absorb a small part of their stats. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and curses. Syotl, Goddess of death has called to you. Rise and serve her majesty by spreading death and decay. Stand in the way of the living and the light!
Warning: Veil of Aliotal torn. Outside interference detected. Aliotal system interference detected. Insufficient power to suppress.
Ping: Blessing of Odin the All-father acquired. Title: Lady of Ravens acquired. 1000% increase to all magic related skills. 1000% increased growth of all magic related attributes. ''They dare steal a soul from us? Make them pay, my child. Show them what it means to be an earthling from the Prime universe.''
Ping: Blessing of Earthmother Gaia acquired. Title: Lifebinder acquired. 100% increased growth of all health related attributes. ''Life is yours to manipulate, my child. Absorb, bind and create. You have sovereignty over your own body and life, work hard and change! Show these usurpers the adaptive powers of prime''s humanity so that they will regret ever tampering with your destiny.''
"Wh-what?" Is the only thing I can say in my mind before everything blinks out of existence and I know no more. Chapter 1 – Sucky slurp the goopy-goop. For the first time since I can remember, I feel no pain, no discomfort. The past month was pain and suffering, cold and hate, but now the pain is gone. It''s a strange sensation. Oh gods, what the fuck happened to me? Am I dead? But no, if I can think then surely not. I tug at my body, tell it to move. And it does! It feels weird though, but it moves! I open my eyes, or try to. Nothing happens. Only darkness greets my efforts. It seems... I can''t see. Let''s hope I''m underground. Unfortunately for me, I can feel a breeze on my skin, so it''s likely that I''m not underground. I roll my body sideways and hear a squish squish sound. I feel something wet all around me. I wonder what it is? It smells sweet, very sweet. But it''s a different kind of sweetness than what I''m used to. It''s hard to describe exactly, but for some reason that sweet smell makes my mouth water. I sit up, the wet goopy slime all around me is making my bottom wet. Ever so slowly, I bring a finger up to prod at my eye. Even though I was careful, my finger goes right through my eye socket. The only reason I don''t panic is because the Frank bastard spent over a month torturing me every day, otherwise I''d have freaked the fuck out. But why are my eyes missing? It''s not just that I''m blind. Both my eyes are gone and my finger feels strangely skeletal, but not in all places. My body smells sweet too by the way, just like the surroundings. However, I can clearly discern the difference in sweetness. It''s strange, too strange! Having nothing better to do, I decide to dip my finger in the sweet smelling goop and lick it. Thankfully I have a tongue to lick with, although it seems a little bit too long and quite easy to move. The goop is maddeningly delicious and I''m hungry. I''ve got nothing better to do anyway, so why not indulge myself a little? It''s not like I''ll get fat from eating a little bit of unidentified goop, right? Besides even if I got fat, I wouldn''t care since I''m blind. If people don''t like my appearance, then they can just go fuck themselves, tehehe. I lose myself to the taste of the sweet goop, sometimes scooping it up with cupped hands and sipping it like fine wine. At other times I find myself on all fours licking the ground like an animal. I don''t care though. It tastes good, and it makes me feel good and it doesn''t seem like there''s anyone around to yell at me that such behaviour is most unbecoming of a lady. Not that I ever was a lady, but a girl can dream, right? I crawl forward a few feet, my eyes still in complete darkness as I continue to slurp at the saccharine ambrosia covering everything. Then my hand touches something else. It''s soft and squishy and also smells sweet, but it''s not quite like the goop from before. Excitement fills me at this new culinary discovery. I can''t let it go to waste. I feel like Alice in wonderland with all this tasty food around me. I''m practically bathing in it! I sit down and resume my feast. When I dig into the melty jelly, I find that there''s a hard, stick-like thing in the middle of it. Very convenient design as I can hold it in my hand while I om nom nom it. I approve! It''s almost like a lolipop made especially for me, fufufu. I grip it and lift the blubbery sweet food to my mouth and like a vacuum cleaner, suck the proverbial meat off the bone. That''s how it feels anyway, like eating really soft and mushy KFC chicken, but even more delicious than KFC. How funny. But goddamn, it tastes good. I feel giddy and let out a girly little giggle the likes of which I haven''t emitted since I was a preteen. It comes out as a creepy wheeze rather than a girly giggle. Weird. Nevermind. I don''t care right now. I''m still super hungry and it''s not that I don''t like sweet soupy goop or melty jelly on a stick, but I''m craving solids too, you know? I guess I could try eating the stick thing. So far everything I''ve touched has been edible, so why not the stick thing too? Truly Alice in wonderland with food all around. Yep, it''s Alice in candyland! Fufufu. Bringing the stick-thing to my mouth, I crunch crunch and sure enough it tastes nice, but not quite as nice as the goop or the jelly and it''s a little dry and powdery but also somewhat rubbery and chewy. Still good though, and it has volume to it, so I consume everything. As I''m finishing with the last bit of the stick thing, something washes over me. It makes me shiver with pleasure and I purr, which becomes a menacing animalistic growl. Weird, I don''t remember auditioning as lead singer for a death metal growl band.
Achievement unlocked: Rotten Corpse Eater. Through sick and perverse actions defying the natural order, you have consumed copious amounts of corpses in various states of decay. +100% to disease resistance.
Achievement unlocked: A Ghoul''s first meal. A young ghoul must feed, and so you have. Unlocked trait life sense.
Call of the Grave Queen: +2 Constitution, +2 Strength, +2 Dexterity, +9 Intelligence, +9 Wisdom, +9 Perception, +9 Spirit
Achievement Unlocked: Fledgeling training. You take your development seriously, and instead of frivolously leveling up to gain attributes, you take your time and train the fundamentals. You''ve been rewarded for your actions. +1 Cons, +1 Int, +10 Charisma +1 Karma.
Achievement Unlocked: Scholar. Through years of education, you have prevailed in raising your mental stats in spite of your low level. You came out the other end a changed woman, with a mind as sharp as any sword. +5% to all elemental affinities, +3 Int. Title gained: Scholar.
"What. The. Fuck!?" I shout to no one in particular. Doesn''t really matter though, since it came out as three loud gurgling growls that sounded more like someone puking than someone speaking. Truthfully, I did want to puke right now. Memories flood me and I remember. I remember those last few seconds of my life. I remember my death. I remember those strange messages of soul transference, blessings and curses and more blessings and what have you. Uguu, my head hurts. Shit. I can''t get over the fact that I''ve just merrily feasted on a bunch of rotting corpses. And I''m still surrounded by that sweet smell. Delicious, mouth watering... No stop it. I am NOT going to eat another gods damned corpse, you hear me, me? But still, what the fuck were those strange pop-up boxes about? I got achievements and stats like in a game. But I died. I used to play World of Warcraft when I was younger. I was even an avid raider and no, I never ERP''d in goldshire for money. Never, you hear me? Goddamn it! Bah I don''t care anymore. I''m alive, sort of. The sweet smelling stuff tastes good, even if it''s rotting corpse. I escaped from Frank. I''m happy enough with that. I think I''m beginning to understand the sweet release of death. I reach my hand out to try and grab another piece of jelly on a stick. Yup, let''s think of it as jelly on a stick, not decaying flesh on a bone. Jelly on a stick sounds much more appetizing. Tehehe. But I stop myself before I can give in to my instincts. Oh. My. God. What if I actually say the forbidden word in my mind. I won''t say it now. I refuse to. Actually. I''m scared to say that word in my mind. What if... what if it was actually like a game and my status- Shit!
Name: None
Titles
??? ???
??? ???
Monster Rank: ???
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 1
Character Status
Health: 185 Mana: 853 Stamina: 161 Class: None
Strength: 10 Intelligence: 18 Charisma: -59 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 9 Wisdom: 12 Spirit: 13 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 11 Perception: 14 Karma: -99 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: 5% Earth: 5% Fire: 5% Air: 5%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: 5% Earth: 5% Fire: 5% Air: 5%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception. Current radius: 28 Meters.
Status Effects
Rotting Corpse (Condition) -100 Charisma. Who likes rotting corpses?
Blind (Condition) You can''t see without eyes, can you?
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 1 (Active) Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation 1 (Active) Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 1 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Uuuuuuhhh... Okay then? Either I somehow survived Frank''s horrible tortures and ended up in a hallucinating coma in the hospital after an unlikely rescue operation... or I reincarnated into a game-like world. Both of those scenarios are rather improbable and seriously fucked up. One of them is fucked up in a good way though. I''ve always wanted to be in a game and here I am! Tehehe. I look over the massive character status that popped into my mind. Thankfully it doesn''t obscure my vision, it just sort of exists in my awareness. Choose a name? Hey, why am I classified as a monster? I shake an invisible fist in rage at the audacity of this system or whatever it is. How dare it call me a monster, I am but a girl with an appetite goddamn it! I guess the previous owner of this body suffered a premature departure. Just like me then. Although in my case, I''d wanted death to come for me faster. I was right about my current self, sort of. I''m kinda dead, an undead ghoul apparently. Is that some sort of zombie? I must look horrible, -59 Charisma haha. Okay focus. This body is 10 years old? Fuck. Some poor kid got killed along with... wait why are there so many corpses around here anyway. All that goop, all those melty jellies on sticks. Is this an all you can eat bufft-- I mean battlefield? Humm. My stats are pretty absurd, aren''t they? Not that I have anything to reference them against, but I get the feeling that a level 1 shouldn''t have these stats. I''m pretty pissed that some Gods decided to curse me, but on the other hand I''m grateful for the help I got, even if said help originates from some rather dubious sources. Hey ya''ll, I''m hanging out with the the God of Revenge and Goddess of Death. Happy times ahead for sure. I shed a mental tear when I see the last two blessings. Parting gifts from my old world. I will forever treasure your memory, Earth. Wait, why am I accepting that this is real and not a dream? I guess... I guess I can feel it. I know it in my bones. I''m half bones now, so trust my perception more, will you? I''ve become like those old women that say oya oya, I can feel a storm coming in my knee, you better take shelter. Besides, I don''t have any desire to return to my old, mangled corpse of a body. If I were hard pressed to choose, I might even choose to inhabit this rotting child corpse over my old body. The heavily mutilated and mangled body of a 33 year old woman and all the bad memories to go along with it. Yup, not appetizing in the least. I wonder if Frank chopped me up and ate me after I died? Ugh, I suddenly don''t feel like eating any more of the sweet, delicious... no mouth, stop watering! Gyuuh. I shake my head and try to brush off the rush of insanity prompted by the huge status screen. I sure hope I can sort that into smaller bits. I don''t want to pull up that huge monstrosity every time I need to check my stats or skills. Let me try. I picture the status screen in my mind, but only showing Basic info and character stats.
Name: None
Titles
??? ???
??? ???
Monster Rank: ???
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 1
Character Status
Health: 185 Mana: 853 Stamina: 161 Class: None
Strength: 10 Intelligence: 18 Charisma: -59 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 9 Wisdom: 12 Spirit: 13 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 11 Perception: 14 Karma: -99 Sub-Class: None
Yes, it worked! Woohoo! Unsurprisingly, I don''t have a class. I don''t have a name either, maybe I should choose one. I don''t want to be just another random, nameless monster roaming the wilds to be struck down by the first stray soldier with a sword or whatever. I resent this fact! I am unique, goddamn it! Just as I begin to dig through my memory banks for an appropriately epic name for myself, I hear growling off in the distance. Growling and groaning and other grotesque, inhuman sounds. Even if I can''t see, my hearing seems to be extremely acute. Good good. Let''s go towards the growling. It''s not a dumb idea, okay? I''m a monster too, you know? I have to go mingle with my fellow corpse homies and see what''s what yo. Maybe they''ll even talk to me so I don''t have to talk to myself like a madwoman even though I''m definitely not mad, okay? Goddamn it! I probably shouldn''t call myself mad too often lest I risk acquiring a title and accompanying trait. I shudder at the thought of being permanently branded insane by the system, although it already arbitrarily branded me a monster! The nerve. I get up and walk on surprisingly steady legs towards the growling and groaning and sloshing and munching and crunching. From the sound alone, I''m guessing there are at least 5 monsters over there eating the hell out of some scrumptious decaying flesh... no, silence! I nearly slip and slide a number of times. Sweet baby jesus there''s a lot of goop on the ground around here. I heard tales from the old days of battlefields flooded with blood, but this is pretty crazy stuff. Jankies is it slippery. But I somehow manage to proceed without falling on my tooshie too many times. As I near the growling monsters, they grow quiet. I can somehow feel them with my mind now. I take a look at life sense. If these monsters are anything like me, aka dead, then it''s not Life Sense at work here but something else. An innate connection with my kin maybe? I focus on the connection and nearly jump out of my skin when purple mist starts swirling around me, forming into 5 vaguely humanoid shapes. All 5 of them are larger than I, adult sized in fact. One of them approaches me, a low growl emanating from it. Ah, of course. This bastard doesn''t want to share the sweet goop and melty jelly. Come to think of it, I don''t really feel like sharing either. Although the purple mist is nearly twice my height, I don''t care since I''m fun-sized and that''s clearly better! Some strange animal instinct in me awakens and I lunge forward, driving my fist into the undefined purple swirlie mass before me. My small fist passes through a wall of soft, rotting meat and brittle bones with a wet squishy crunch, coming out the other side. It almost felt like punching water. Appropriate I think, considering that to my vision these creatures are made of purple humanoid shaped mist. I retract my hand and hear the thud of a body falling to the ground before me, the purple mist slowly dissipating from the fallen shape. Now there are only four. "Fuck off!" I snarl. My throat produces only vaguely recognizable sounds, not the words I intended. Regardless, the four remaining creatures got the message and scattered before the mighty rotting corpse-loli. Tehehe. No stop it me, or I really will get that madwoman title. A terrible hunger overcomes me and I fall to my knees, the goop splashing. Come to mommy, sweet delicious goopy goop. Loop zoop. That''s right, come to mommy. Fufufu. I slurp and drink and eat, my instincts taking over as my body devours the food before me. I let myself totally go, giving in to the monster. I would rather do that, than contemplate my current situation and what I''m doing. Yup, better to think of myself as Alice in wonderland enjoying a world made of candy.
Do you wish to name yourself Alice, Y/N?
No, no. Let me think. Alice is a nice name. But if this is a game and I''m a monster, I better become a real badass. Whoever heard of a last boss called Alice? I should be like the bloody countess or something, o ho ho. I plop my tooshie to the ground and cross my arms, my skeletal hand accidentally passing over my ribcage. Exposed bones. Play them like an instrument, lalala. No stop it and focus. Use the remaining meat as a drum and play my ribcage like a harp! lala, haha. NO! Name. My name. I think... I think I should give myself a name soon. Some strange madness tugs at my consciousness. I don''t want to become just another monster, another mob character, a cannon-fodder NPC. I am more! I''m not one of many, I''m unique! Damned if I will be a simple low level pushover mob for some random 15 year old harem toting red-haired manga protagonist to slay. No, this one shall become a legendary class last boss, oh ho ho ho!
Confirm request: Name: Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell. Y/N
That''s more like it. But where did those two middle names come from? I picked Alyce because I can''t escape from the alice in wonderland delusion and I picked McDowell because I like negima, okay? It''s my guilty pleasure. Maybe Katheryn Francisca came from the one previously inhabiting this body. Yes, that seems right. Nodding my head, I mentally acquiesce. As soon as I decide to accept this name, something changes. I can feel the world vibrating all around me as though I am a pebble thrown into a lake. A strange sensation floods my head and I feel dizzy. Even though I''m sitting down, I fall backwards. Oh dear, it seems I''m gonna faint. Fainting corpse-loli, tehe--- zzz. Chapter 2 – Corpse homies and fresh meat. I wake to the massive status screen floating inside my mind, the name blinking. A few changes seem to have taken place while I was asleep. It seems that I got an upgrade in status now that I have a name. There are 3 plus signs after my monster rank. I don''t know whether that''s something to be proud of or not, since I didn''t spawn with a tutorial. Strangely, my attributes are halved and I scour the status in search of answers. Damn those fucking gods and their machinations. Cursing me just because I''m a corpse, how rude. Still -50% to all my attributes in sunlight... that''s a pretty severe handicap. Since the curse is currently active, it seems I''ve been unconscious long enough for the sun to rise. At least I don''t burn in the sun like a vampire. That''s good, right? Let''s go with positive thinking. My thoughts seem more coherent now. My head is definitely clearer, though I maintain the strange urge to say tehehe at the end of my sentences. I wonder what kind of person the previous owner of this body was, and how a 10 year old child ended up on a battlefield. It must be a tragic story. All the options I can think of are rather gruesome and depressing, so this world that I''ve come to isn''t exactly a land of milk and honey. Although in my case... I pause, waiting for the insane urge to eat and consume the sweet goop and the melty jelly, but it doesn''t come. I''m in control of myself again. Mostly anyway. A small trail of drool still runs down my cheek at the thought of goop, but hey, beggars can''t be choosers and even the most amazing corpse-loli isn''t perfect, you know? Now that I can actually form coherent thoughts again, I study my status for anything useful and pause on the blessings tab. Then my eyes go to skills and I resist the urge to chuckle, fearing that another beastly growl will erupt from my throat and somehow turn those monstrous instincts back on. I am loathe to admit that part of me actually liked me when I was a crazy monster, tehehe. Gyuuh. Parting with that feeling is hard. It''s sort of like when I quit smoking, except my current withdrawal symptons aren''t really very severe. Not yet at least, but I imagine I have to eat more at some point. Yup, let''s not think about that right now. I''ll compromise with a tehehe, okay?
Flesh Manipulation Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
According to this, I should be able to use Flesh manipulation to create new eyes for myself to see with. I have no desire to remain blind, so fixing my eyesight is definitely a top priority. It''s cute that it warns me it might hurt and I will probably be in pain when I fucking form new flesh, like duh, no shit sherlock. But I guess the system doesn''t know what it''s like to endure Frank''s careful ministrations for an entire month without relief. I can only give it a go, right? So I imagine the skill in my mind, coupled with my desire to create new eyes and my knowledge of biology. I hope that the skill will take care of it though, since eyes are rather complex to create from scratch and I''m not some paragon, know-it-all reincarnated anime protagonist with a mysterious ability to pull knowledge out of her ass like she has unlimited access to wikipedia articles. A strange, warm sensation floods me, then my eyesockets start burning. At first the pain is negligible, but the painful throbbing increases until it has my full attention. I resist the urge to say ''my eye is throbbing'' as I hold a hand over my eye. Still I do not scream. Still I do not give in. I have endured pain far worse than this! I grit my teeth. Holy shit! I can actually feel my eyes being formed. I can hear them being formed. God that sounds disgusting. Squishy squishy! Thankfully, it seems I can guide the process to an extent. Fueled by my desire to see and see well, I postpone the completion of the eyes and think of all the animals with great eyesight like birds of prey for acuteness of sight and owls for night vision and I just hold the images in my mind for as long as possible. All the while I can feel things happening. Material being compressed and optimized and infused with strange energies. Yes, let''s go! Give me back my eyesight! Damned if I have a second chance at life, but have to spend it as a mindless monster with no eyes. Let''s go EYES Wooh!
Congratulations. You have successfully used Flesh manipulation (unique skill) to craft Demonic Eyes of Death''s Pursuit (Grade: Legendary, unique.) Nobody else possess eyes that are quite like yours. +10 perception.
Warning: A large amount of inferior biomass has been expended.
A sharp pain shoots through me like white lightning and my vision flashes. Next thing I know is that I feel a dull throbbing pain and two streaks of something wet running down my cheeks. I''ve finally lost my eye-socket virginity. I''m almost afraid of opening my eyes, but fear or no fear, I have to get my bearings, figure out where I am and what the fuck is actually going on. Now that I have eyes and my mind is clear...er. Clearer. But not yet clear enough for me to stop craving flesh, it seems. Guess creating my eyes took a lot out of me and I might have to eat again soon. Enough procrastinating! I force my eyes open wide against the sharp sunlight and just freeze for a moment, the view of the blue sky above is so breathtaking I forget myself for a moment. Holy gods, the clouds are so clear. Fluffy white clouds like cotton candy. I wonder if they are edible, tehehe. Okay, eyes GET! Since I''m sprawled on my back, I slowly sit up and prepare myself mentally for it. No good. I topple forward on all fours, heaving. So many rotting corpses, so much blood. Maggots everywhere, grotesque heaps of mutilated rotting corpses... I heave and heave, but nothing comes out, only strangled sounds. Disgusting, more than disgusting... it is hell. But this is nothing to me! I can deal with it. After all, Frank... prepared me for this kind of thing. After awhile, I sit back up and swivel my head around. Mountains of bodies, some reduced to little more than brown bones in a black soup, lay about on the ground. Maggots infest the corpses. A severed arm lays not two feet from me and I can see clearly the maggots eating away at it. Oh my fuck. I swoon for a moment. That shit''s what I was calling a melty jelly on a stick. AND IT STILL LOOKS APPETIZING GODDAMN IT. Haah... The battlefield seems to have been in this state for awhile, left relatively undisturbed. There are some blackened and burned stone ruins in the distance on one side that looks like it could be the remnants of some large building, maybe a castle? But part of the building has disappeared into a hole. Behind me I see a large imposing forest. And piles and piles of corpses on scorched, desecrated ground with their weapons, armor and clothes untouched. Strange. Usually after battles are finished you get the grave robbers and looters clearing the place, but not here for some reason. In the distance, I can see some corpse homies enjoying a meal and by the gods are they nasty looking. Imagine the most disgusting zombie you can, then add some weird cancerous growths and postules to its back and black slimey pus oozing from huge ulcers and... well you get the picture. Suddenly anxious, I inspect myself. My legs have retained most of their flesh, though its decomposing a little. My left foot is almost all bone, and my right foot is about fifty-fifty. Judging from the size of my legs and feet, this certainly is a child body. Same dealio with my hands. Some of my fingers have most of their flesh, but the index finger of my right hand has zero flesh and is just a bony protrusion. I wiggle it in a come here motion toward my corpse homies. Tehehe. I''m glad they don''t obey me. I don''t want to be anywhere near those disgusting things. Though I suppose I am a bit horrid looking myself, it''s still nothing compared to those monstrosities. I guess I''m not all that bad looking, all things considered. Yes yes, I''m quite good looking for a decomposing corpse, alright? There aren''t any mirrors around here for me to conveniently gaze upon my face and admire myself. I''m sort of curious about how my eyes look, but I dread discovering how fucked up my face is. I run a hand over my head to find it mostly bald, with a few patches of long frayed silvery blonde hair here and there.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. Well, there goes my dreams of becoming a L''Oral hair model. Tehehe. I glance around myself, because this body of mine is bare to the bone. Almost. Corpse JOKE, yahaha. All I have is a pair of decaying brown linen pants. They''re little more than rags, and shorter than hotpants. Short enough to be indecent. I shudder. I do not want to check the genital situation right now. No sir, no mam, no way, no day. I jump to my feet, feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed despite the 50% stat reduction from the curse and the minor detail that my body is decomposing The sun is out and it''s a great day to not be tied up in Frank''s basement. Now let''s see if I can''t equip myself with some dead soldier''s gear and go slay those monsters over yonder ho! I''m one of those monsters though, but let''s ignore that little fact for the moment. After some careful scavenging, I''ve managed to find a short sword that''s not rusty and bent out of shape, along with a small round metal buckler. Although they''re nothing special and basically trash drops, right now they''re more than sufficient. 1 is infinitely greater than 0 and even if these two items are the real life equivalent of Grey items in WoW, I''m still happy, alright? Swords are cool, okay? I''ve always wanted a sword in real life, goddamn it! What''s wrong with that? Channeling my inner adventurer, I equip the small buckler and short-sword and stand straight and proud. I am become loli--- I mean death... uh... The corpse homies have no idea what''s coming. They''re still milling about and eating with abandon. Little do they know the loli---death that''s about to descend upon them. Closer and closer I sneak. The ground occasionally squishes uncomfortably beneath my bony feet, but I try to not pay too much attention to what I''m walking through. When I''m only 10 meters from them, I squat down behind a pile of corpses consisting of men in dull metal armour and horses. Poor horsies. No, focus Alyce. Gripping the short sword tightly, I walk out to meet my corpse homies for a duel to the death. As I emerge, I find them with their attention focused elsewhere and I hear it too. It sounds like... someone cursing, profusely, loudly, vigorously. I have little time to be impressed by the chant-like string of curses, because the corpse homies, scenting living prey, take off running towards the sound. The man''s cursing voice suddenly grows quiet as he can no doubt hear the loud crashing sound of the corse homies inelegantly tearing their way through the foliage on the outer edge of the forest. I chase behind them as they disappear into the woods, crashing through berry bushes and leaving behind a black trail of pus and ooze in their wake. Very nice, corpse homie squad. Very nice indeed... A man''s life is at stake, so I hurry after the corpse homies. There''s an army''s worth of corpses behind me. Let''s not add to that, shall we? The corpse homies don''t count by the way, since they are already dead and I''m definitely not, okay? Goddamn it! Suddenly, all sounds cease. I break through a wall of verdant green to find four corpse homies surrounding a very stocky man slumped against a tree. I can hardly see his armor for the enormous, black beard flowing down the front. He is still, perhaps unconscious. But I remember his extremely impressive swearing from just moments before. I gotta save this man at all costs. Such glorious swearing cannot be extinguished! It must live on. I have no time to waste, so I sprint towards the corpse homies just as they are preparing to dig into the downed man. "Fight for the fuck!" I yell as I swing the short sword. It comes out as incoherent growling, but I don''t really care. It''s the thought that counts, right? I''m not nearly tall enough to properly decapitate the corpse homie I targeted without channeling my inner Jedi Master Yoda, but I manage to slice cleanly through its leg with a wet thud. The others turn as one to look at me, but I''m already spinning and swinging for the next one. I slice across the corpse homies midsection, surprised at how easy it is to cut these things. It''s like cutting butter. Very disgusting, rancid butter, but butter none the less. I can''t believe it''s not butter. Then I''m toppled to the ground from behind and curse my stupidity. The corpse homie whose leg I managed to amputate obviously didn''t die. Now it''s clinging to my leg, clawing, biting and snarling like an animal or rather, a zombie. The others come for me as one and I grit my teeth and curse the gods and my own stupidity. Why did I think I could 1v4 these walking abominations so easily. In a child body, with a shitty trash tier sword and -50% to all my attributes. Yeah, I''m a gods damned hero. I swing my blade outward in a sweeping motion in an attempt to keep the charging corpse homies at bay, but just before they fall on me, the world turns white. I still feel my sword biting into the advancing corpse homies despite the fact that I can''t see anything for the white light pulsing outwards. I flail the sword about in the whiteness. The blinding white light continues for a few seconds before abating.
Congratulations, with the assistace of ??? you have slain three level 2 Undead Ghouls and one level 3 Undead Ghoul.
Congratulations: Level up! 7 Attribute points available for distribution. Due to your status as a legendary grade monster you gain extra points. +10 to Constitution.
Absentmindedly, I drop the short sword and buckler and fall to my knees. On all fours, I grasp a handful of grass and rip it from the ground in frustration. Leveling up is good and all, but I failed. I didn''t save anyone. That white light pretty much disintegrated the corpse homies all without my interference. God fucking damn it, I''m still powerless. Still useless. Still the same old piece of trash. I feel something wet roll down my cheeks and I don''t give a fuck anymore. Maybe it''s tears, maybe it''s some disgusting black ooze. Who cares?! Shaking with anger at myself, I slowly rise to my feet and turn towards the man, finding him awake and staring at me with wide eyes. I must''ve been quite a sight, because the man suddenly slumps as his eyes roll back and he loses consciousness. Great Alyce, you''re so hideous that men faint when they look upon your wretched form. Weh. Let''s hope it has more to do with the man''s exhaustion and wounds than with my hideous appearance. Yep, let''s think that. Shit. He could be dead. I force my legs to work, my feet to move. One step after the other, I approach the odd looking man with the extremely impressive beard. I chuckle darkly to myself as I reach him. Really, a dwarf? The gods of this world must''ve had no imagination to come up with the same old fantasy races as inhabit earths fictions. I crouch down in front of the dwarf, realizing that he''s actually quite massive, easily twice my size in height as well as width. ABSOLUTE UNIT. If all dwarves are as massive as this bloke, then an army of them would be scary as fuck. Small, my ass. Actually, my ass is small, but let''s not contemplate the state of my liliputian posterior, shall we? The tree he''s leaning against is almost bending back beneath his weight. Iron symbols and rings are artfully braided into his huge pitch black beard along with various leather straps holding it all together, forming an impressive looking art piece. I reach a shaking, skeletal and decomposing hand towards that glorious beard, almost afraid to sully it with my disgusting digits. But I have to. I move the beard aside like a curtain to gaze upon the man and see if he''s wounded. My eyes widen as I see the tip of a sword sticking through the man''s chest, glowing with a pale blue light. I can still hear him breathing, sucking in rattling wet breaths as he fights for his life. Was he perhaps betrayed by his comrades and left to die here? No warrior worth his salt would allow himself to be stabbed in the back unless it was a surprise attack. At least that''s what my anime otaku derived knowledge of such situations tell me. I carefully tap my bony index finger against his metal plate armour, wondering how by the seven holy fucks this glowing blue sword managed to penetrate it. Damn it. I don''t know shit about healing, but I can''t just sit here and watch as a magnificently bearded, gloriously swearing man passes to the afterlife. A half open bag lies near his slumped body, but all it contains is some dried meat strips and a metal canteen smelling of alcohol. Wait, strong alcohol can disinfect a wound, and these two things have been lovingly wrapped in a long piece of cloth. It has to be cleaner than anything I can find back at the battlefield, so I pull out the alcohol and the cloth. Taking my short-sword, I make appropriately sized strips of cloth and try my hand at making a bandage. It''s partially successful.
Congratulations. Through a desperate action you''ve managed to craft a shoddy but working bandage.
Well, thanks for the heads up system. Truly fucking helpful aren''t you? How about a tutorial? No? What about a convenient skill? I thought so... Bastard. I move behind the dwarf to see if I can''t find the hilt of the sword. I know pulling it out will cause some bleeding, but with the way it glows eerily, I think it might be best to risk removing it. I got my trusty bandage and alcohol, so I''m all good thank you very much. Though it would be nice if the system would magically grant me the ability to heal wounds with magic. Come on, it''s a fantasy world, so give me magic goddamn it! Looking down at my decomposing hand and the exposed bone of my finger, I realize that healing magic probably ain''t gonna happen. Besides, I get a bad taste in my mouth even just contemplating my reliance on system granted skills. Stupid system! The man is sturdy as fuck, a huge block of meat. The sword is buried to the hilt in his back, but I manage to find it. I just hope my strength is enough to pull the sword from the stone, figuratively speaking. "Not nervous at all. Haha." I mutter to myself. It becomes a strange sounding growl, but I''m used to it at this point. What''s a girl to do when she can''t let out her frustrations? So I grasp the hilt, grit my teeth and pull. At first the sword doesn''t budge. But then slowly, slowly it gives, sliding from the dwarf with a sickening sound as metal scrapes against both metal and flesh simultaneously. I wince and feel phantom pain as I remove the sword with excruciating slowness from the man. Oh God oh god. The unconscious dwarf grunts and lets out some wet choking sounds. Shit shit shit. Blood gushes forth from the wound. I throw the glowing sword to the side and make a panicked fumbling grab for my homemade bandages, now desperate to stifle the flow of blood. "Come on, come on you big bastard." I mutter to myself. It''s a strange whimpering growl this time. I surprise myself with my own skill, somehow managing to bind the man''s wound. The bandage is almost immediately soaked through and I realize I didn''t pour alcohol on his wound. So I grab the canteen, open it and tip it over. Golden, strong smelling liquid pours forth from the canteen and the dwarf lets out a hiss. I grab my second bandage and wind it around the man. It too, is soon soaked through. Tears are streaming down my face now, and my hands are shaking. It would be nice if being an undead would save me from such emotions, but I guess life is crueler than that eh? Just as I''m thinking that the man is going to bleed to death, a very faint white light begins to glow over the wound and I stare in amazement as it slowly stops bleeding. I collapse to the ground and lie there cheek against the fresh smelling grass in a daze. I can even scent a flower nearby, it smells nice too. Nice and full of life. Not sickly sweet, but fresh and lively like a good perfume. The grass and the earth and the flowers and the fresh air of the forest, all alive... unlike me. Grotesque, monstrous me. Somehow, a small smile creeps up on me. He will live. "Tehehe." I giggle out loud, then close my eyes and give in to exhaustion, letting myself take a well deserved nap. Chapter 3 – My cliff-san cant be this steep. I wake with a shiver of pleasure running through my body. Involuntarily, I spasm around on the ground for awhile before finally coming to my senses and sitting up. Jolly jee, guess it feels pretty good to level up eh? It was like org- I mean, like receiving an electric shock. Yes, let''s go with that. Oh shit, the dwarf! I turn to look over at him. He''s still there, leaning against the tree resting. I can feel him through life sense along with some other small critters all around. In my vision they''re like small red haloes or auras. I try focusing on one and the clear outline of a squirrel behind a tree jumps out at me. This is like having a wallhack, isn''t it? I kinda feel like a cheater, tehehe, but thank you for not making it X-ray vision. Hopefully that means the gods of this world aren''t of the Japanese variety. Thank fuck the bearded man didn''t die while I was indisposed. Remembering the 7 undistributed stat points, I take a quick gander at my status, wondering what I should invest them in.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Monster Rank: G+++
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 2
Character Status
Health: 285 Mana: 853 Stamina: 211 Class: None
Strength: 10 Intelligence: 18 Charisma: -59 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 9 Wisdom: 12 Spirit: 13 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 21 Perception: 14 Karma: -99 Sub-Class: None
Constitution feels like the most important stat to me. If I was just playing a game, I''d min/max into a high mobility DPS build of some sort, but seeing as this is a real world with no guaranteed respawn, constitution holds high value for me as it''s probably the main way of increasing HP. I don''t know that for sure, but after the level up my HP has risen a bit and I can''t help but think its due to the increase in Constitution granted by my legendary monster bonus. I''m a bit relieved that I got a pretty absurd bonus to constitution as a reward for leveling up though. +10 to constitution seems a bit abnormal, but I''m not gonna complain. I''ll take all that I can get. I''m not like those retarded JP protagonists that upon meeting god and getting a second chance at life is like ''no thanks, I don''t need a cheat ability and furthermore, where''s the way home?'' I wonder what stats other people in this world get when they level up? Maybe I''ll ask Beard-san once he wakes up. Assuming he wakes up... I shake my head. No Alyce, don''t think like that. Of course he will wake up. He must. I wanna hear those swearwords again... Gazing up at the sky now streaked with orange, I smile. Night is coming, my time is nigh! I feel almost like a vampire or werewolf. My strength doubles once its night time, you know? I''m amazing, right? Actually, speaking of strength I should try out my summoning magic while I wait for nightfall. I feel really hungry and I know only one way of sating said hunger. Unfortunately, the only thing I desire to eat here is Beard-san and that''s no good, so I''m thinking that I have to go back to the all you can eat buffet. Closing my eyes and preparing to watch my breath through my nostrils in a basic meditation exercise, I realise that there''s a problem. I... don''t breathe. Oh well, hopefully the mana will come somehow. Hopefully I don''t have to resort to yoga to elicit a mana reaction. I''ve always thought yoga was a spectator sport... I focus on the skill name, summon raven familiar. I even go so far as to picture swirly blue liquid running through my veins and picturing a mighty black raven. Then I feel a small rush of something, like whoosh and my eyes snap open just in time to see the air in front of me distorting as if there was a heat haze or something. Then a raven appears with a pop, flapping its wings and landing on the ground in front of me. That''s... so fucking cool! It''s... it''s rather big, isn''t it? Those eyes are an inhuman black colour with small angry red dots as pupils.Why is it just staring at me like a creep at a fare? Anyone who cared to look at this thing would immediately realise that it''s not natural. It''s quite clearly a monster, you know? I guess it doesn''t really matter if my raven is a bit creepy. I summoned it with the power of kool aid running through my veins, goddamn it! Guess using magic feels pretty... kool, after all. Tehehe. Slapping my face, I jump to my feet noticing the darkening sky. Looking down at the raven for a moment, I raise a boney m finger and point at it. "Now listen up Raven-chan. Stay here and watch over Beard-san over there, okay?" I say, and a long series of gurgling growls emanate from my damaged throat. I really should fix that, but I don''t have much biomass to work with at the moment. I will go load up on cellulite in a moment. To my surprise and slight trepidation, the raven nods its head as though it understands me. "Raven-chan! You understand me don''t you?" I say, and it nods again. So cute, awawah. I want to smooch it on the beak. I resist the urge to hug my first familiar. I have work to do. And by that I mean I have an all I can eat buffet to take advantage of. After all, I don''t know when enemies will come here to look at the battlefield and the corpses won''t last forever either. Every woman exiguous or voluptuous, worth her salt, knows that it''s imperative to exploit an all you can eat bufft by eating all the delicious stuff without stopping, until you faint! Or maybe that was just me in my last life... by the way, I was definitely not fat, okay? Goddamn it! Cake is just very delicious... I walk back from whence I came and the sweet scent of delicious, mouthwatering goop and jellies on sticks once more fill my nostrils. With but a thought, I send Raven-chan to scout the area around Beard-san to give me some forewarning should an enemy approach. In the worst case scenario, I will have Raven-chan attack and stall for time while I rush back. I will try to stay close, but a womans gotta eat, you know? And I want to explore those blackened ruins too. They look rather interesting. Maybe I can find some phat lewt inside. But first... I stare out at the field of corpses crawling with maggots, at the brown bones and black soup and rivers of blood, and I feel sick. I feel disgusted. I also feel hungry and a small string of drool escapes my lips again. I gotta stop that. I''m not a baby, baby, baby oh. Closing my eyes for a moment, I steel my resolve before walking over to the nearest pile of rotting flesh and digging in. As I raise the first chunk of meat to my mouth, I find my hands shaking. I guess there''s no easy way to do this. My stomach is curling in on itself and I want to scream in horror. At the same time, I want to giggle with insanity and just eat it all up. "Tehehe!" I laugh, extending my lips and sucking like a vacuum cleaner. That was the first of many victims to fall that day, or should I say night? I guess the sight of a small child corpse eating other corpses untiringly for hours and hours on end in the middle of the night, would scare the living daylights out of any being who would chance upon the battlefied. Life sense didn''t pick anything up though, so I''m good. Probably. If only Frank could see me now, tehehe! I''d eat him too, but not before I make him suffer painfully.
Congratulations, Achievement: earned: The grotesque feast. Within a short span of time, eat 10 corpses, leaving nothing behind. Explanation: Inhuman and savage like a beast, with an unending hunger for decaying flesh, your grotesque feast is an affront to all that is good. -1 Karma. +4 Constitution.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
Ping! A large amount of biomass consumed. Due to its inferior quality, storage of the biomass is limited to 3 days, after which time the biomass will disappear.
Congratulations, achievement earned: Hungering ghoul. You feast prodigiously on tainted flesh. Trait unlocked: Hungering (Undead, ghoul type). Effect: Eating the majority of a slain enemy''s corpse gives you 10% of the experience you gain from killing it.
Call of the Grave Queen: +10 Str, +10 Dex, +10 Cons, +18 Int, +18 Wis, +18 Perc, +18 Spi.
Congratulations: Level up x 10! 77 undistributed attribute points available. +100 Constitution.
Congratulations. After reaching level 10 you are now eligible to pick a combat class.
Congratulations. You''ve gained a trait point due to your status as a legendary monster.
Congratulations. You''ve gained a talent point (locked). Pick a class and learn a specialization to unlock it
Holy shit! I fall on my butt, blood splashing. Then an insane rush slowly hits me like an ever expanding waterfall of pleasure. My vision grows dim and I fall to the ground, writhing helplessly in the throes of a crazy good feeling. I whimper trying to hold it in as I lie there on the ground, my entire body flailing and twitching about. But I can''t hold it any longer and have to let out a scream. Then I laugh until another wave of pleasure completely incapacitates me and the cycle continues for some time, with me just lying there on the ground twitching and giggling and screaming in pleasure. It sounds really, really disturbing because my screams are inhuman growls and my giggles come out as strange wheezing laughter that sort of sounds like the kind of thing you''d hear if you went to a paranormal activity haunted house. It is definitely not normal. When it finally dies down, my vision goes completely black. It''s lights out and I lose consciousness. Some time later, I wake with the status window floating in my mind. Slowly, I sit up still completely flabbergasted at the pleasure. It felt... good. Very good. Then I remember all those pop-ups I got before the pleasure made me black out. Holy moly! Who knew eating corpses would be so good for you? I guess those blessings are to blame for my absurd stat gains. After all, call of the grave queen states that I should only be getting a small amount of attribute points. Oy, you call that a tiny amount!? Not that I''m complaining though. Gaia''s blessing doubles my gains for strength, dex and constitution, so I got 5 stat points from eating 10 whole corpses of probably high level soldiers, which was then buffed by gaia''s blessing. Even though the system keeps calling them inferior biomass, I do suspect that those dead soldiers at least outlevel me by quite a bit as I am right now. But still, Odin''s blessing is ridiculous, isn''t it? Anyway, levels... I leveled up 10 times. It''s unbelievable, right? I''m amazing, right? But I guess I shouldn''t get ahead of myself. After all, I didn''t do anything. I just ate a bunch of corpses. I really do appreciate this all you can eat buffet--- battlefield. It could be my lifeline in this new world. Did I somehow pre-order a cheat DLC for this game? Speaking of, I still know next to nothing about the world. What races will I meet out there? Does this world have dungeons and an adventurers guild? Does it have dragons and an army of demons waiting to invade the civilized world? And most important of all, does it have cake? A girl can get tired of eating corpses, you know? There''s nothing wrong with having a hankering for cake, okay? Goddamn it! Looking up at the sky, I wonder how much time has passed. I can feel Raven-chan in my consciousness and if I focus hard enough I can get a general feeling of what the bird is looking at. Nothing definite yet, but I bet if I train myself more I can connect with Raven-chan and view through its eyes, how cool would that be? Though I do have a fear of heights, so... maybe I''ll hold off on that. Besides, I got a fricking boatload of attribute points! It''s good that I leveled up. Being below level 10 made me feel like a complete noob. I guess I''m still a noob though, just not a complete one. Tehehe! I still want to dump all the points into constitution. Self preservation and all that. But seeing how I get 10 constitution per level, dumping them into that stat seems very wasteful. I should think about my build a little bit before I rush to make such an important decision. Hmm, I wonder what kids do in this world once they level up. Do their parents tell them what stats to invest in? Do they even get to choose? Just more questions for later. Beard-san owes me, so I will have him answer my questions if he wakes up- I mean, once he wakes up. Getting to my feet, the world spins and I feel slightly dizzy. I manage to steady myself and look toward the blackened stone ruins. Since I have no idea what the best stats for me are, I guess I''ll save them for the moment and go check it out. The range of my life sense has increased again and it feels nice to have a radar around me just in case some bandits are lying in wait. I shouldn''t trust it 100% though. It''s possible that there are abilities out there that can avoid detection auras like my life sense, so it''s best that I keep my wits about me, un. Keep my feet on the ground, aye. Although I''m no dwarf, I''m a child but not quite a gnome. It''s okay, I haven''t been gnomed and I''m thankful for that. Though whether a corpse will grow up is another thing entirely. I''ve wanted to see what''s in those ruins ever since I first awoke on this battlefield, so I walk towards the ruins with a spring in my step and the silvery light of the moon guiding my path. Elune Ador! I wonder what I''ll find in there. Humming to myself with a smile, I feel like an explorer in a new land, although I know I shouldn''t since I am walking through a gruesome battlefield littered with decaying corpses towards a blackened ruin probably containing even more decaying corpses. But who knows what treasures (meat) I will find in there, maybe it''s even cooked, tehehe. As I climb over the blackened wall of rubble and emerge on the other side, I freeze for a moment before getting really dizzy. Thankfully I manage to sit myself down before I tip over and fall. Mary''s panties, what the fuck? In front of me is a drop of at least 50 meters and down below I can see the ruins of a castle reduced to rubble. Though some buildings still stand, the towers have all collapsed. Holy shit, this castle had to have been absolutely massive when it was whole. And why the fuck is the ground so damn.... wait, did it sink? Maybe some massive spell displaced the earth and made the castle fall down, I dunno. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. Glancing up at the sky and the moon above before checking on Raven-chan, I grit my teeth. It seems that I am at an impasse here. I really, really want to change my name to Diana Jones and go down there and explore those castle ruins, whip in hand. And no, I''m not into bdsm. I''m really not! Okay? Goddamn it! But if I climb down there, then I can''t possibly make it back to Beard-san in time to save him should an attacker decide to claim his life. Unconsciously, I raise a finger and bite into where the fingernail should be. My teeth only meet bone and I realize what I just did. Letting out a hollow, defeated laugh, I start my climb down. I feel sick to my stomach for leaving the Dwarf to fate, but at least my raven can protect him. I just feel like I have to explore these ruins now or the chance might vanish forever. A sense of urgency I''ve never felt before overcomes me on my climb down the 50 meters or so and I nearly slip a number of times. "Don''t look down, don''t look down." I mutter to myself. Still I slip and slide a few times, and every time a stone frees itself from the wall and tumbles down with a crash and a bang, I feel a shiver run down my spine. That could''ve been me. Still, I somehow manage to descend into the huge pit containing the castle ruins. My non-existent heart beats metaphorically in my small chest. I really wish I had a whip... let''s hope there are no nazis in the ruins. That''d spoil my mood. Reminding myself that I''m not an actor in the zombie remake of raiders of the lost ark, I step forward and begin exploring the ruins. What do I find? A lot of nothing. Black rocks and rubble. Rubadubadubble. Buy the new single now at xxx.ghoulishinsanity.xom Ahen. Moving on. I really want to find some treasure, but why did I expect to... If a town gets nuked ten times in a row, you don''t go there and expect to find epic loot do you? I guess I''ve become an optimist, maybe. Still, after going through ruined room after ruined room moving down, I see a blocked staircase and get curious. If there''s any place with loot, it''s surely in the deepest part of the raid dungeon right? A slightly smell of sweetness drifts up from the blackness below. I get down on my knees and inch closer to the collapsed stone pillar blocking the stairway, trying to get a peek and a sniff of what''s inside. As a result, my drool ends up dripping from the side of my mouth onto the charred and cracked stone... but I''ve confirmed something. Nowhere in the upper part of the castle did I see any corpses or corpse homies for that matter. But down there somewhere... is meat. Will it be more soldiers or something more delectable, I wonder? Oh gods what''s wrong with me. I gotta get down there. Maybe someone''s still alive and if not that, then maybe there''s epic loot. I''m definitely not going down there because there''s delicious meat... okay? Goddamn it! Though, I can''t deny that I like meat in the dungeon... So... how exactly do I go about it? There''s a huge, albeit broken pillar blocking the way. My body''s small, but not small enough to squeeze through the gap. I get to my feet, set my shoulder against the pillar and try to nudge it out of the way. To my surprise, the pillar gives slightly, but as I thought, it''s simply too heavy. If I was a little stronger, I''d be able to nudge it to the side and it would roll away, but I can''t quite get it to that point. Should I... should I invest in strength after all? What could be more romantic than a 10 year old loli with superhuman strength you ask? A magical loli of course! Still, I decide it''s worth the risk. I got loads of attribute points anyway, so I pull up the screen, preparing to squander a few points. As long as I survive, I won''t be too picky about min/maxing, and it''s good to have some physical strength too. I definitely don''t want to spend too many points on strength though, or I''d be misusing my most overpowered blessing and I''m not an idiot, you know? But a few more points in strength and I might be able to move this damn thing. With a sigh, I put 10 of my attribute points in strength and close the window, hoping that it will be enough. With a start, I realize that I can feel my power surging and it isn''t even my final form! I''m happy that it''s having an immediate effect and that I don''t have to spend 5 episodes charging my energy like Goku. Yep, I think this should be enough. I go back to the pillar, put my shoulder to it like before and repeat the process of shoving it. This time, I just barely manage to nudge the pillar to the side and then it does the rest of the work, rolling away by itself and creating a gap more than big enough for me to enter the darkness below. Standing straight and proud, I turn to the camera and let fly a double peace. No ahegao though. I''m not an animal after all ww. There''s no camera either, just empty air. That doesn''t dimish the greatness of double peace sama though. "Peace, peace!" I say, repeatedly thrusting my two hands out from my body and making peace signs. Of course when I say peace, peace it comes out as a funny sounding growl. Yeah, let''s move on... I''ve got an epic, sweet smelling dungeon to explore after all. And no, that''s not a sexual innuendo, okay? Goddamn it! Chapter 4 – Eat the children raw As I descend the stairs, I wonder if I should bring a sword and shield just in case. That thought quickly drifts from my mind though, because the further down I go, the stronger the sweet smell gets and the more I drool. This is my innovative method of not getting lost in the dark. I just leave a string of drool connecting me to the entrance! Fuhaha. I''m not a snail. "Spiral stairs go round, round round." I sing, and it echoes eerily. A shiver runs down my back. The haunting reverberations of a singing ghoul sounds bloody terrifying. If anyone is alive down there, I''m sure they''re gonna hide from me now. Great job, me! Focusing on my life sense skill as I continue down the spiraling staircase, I detect nothing, not even rats. Just as I am beginning to think that this staircase is cursed or something, it straightens out and I arrive at ground zero. The fuck? It''s just a small room with a carpet, a chair, a book case and a table. It looks like the study of a wizard or something, though there are no jars containing body parts so if it is a magic user it is probably not one with an affinity for the dark arts. Maybe my imagination is getting the better of me since it could just be a dark, damp dungeon study for a scribe or something, what with all the tomes lying around. Although I''m slightly curious about the hefty tomes adorning the bookcases, this is not Alyce-chan''s study time. I am drawn to other things at the moment. Such as the alluring sweet smell. It''s pretty dark down here, but lucky for me I got super juiced up eyes. Quietly, I resist the urge to scream byakugan and widen my eyes extremely. I do wonder what colour my eyes are. Do they even have the same eye colour? Maybe the system went all chuuni-mode on my ass and gifted me with heterochromatic eyes. I wouldn''t put it past this damn system to do such a thing. Cocking my head to one side, I note that the sweet scent still lingers, so my nose was not mistaken. I sniff sniff the air and no, I''m not a dog okay? Goddamn it! I follow the scent to the carpet, grab it and peel it aside to find a wooden latch, which I easily snap open. The rusty lock is no bar to my call! I''m slightly disappointed I didn''t have to use my boney index finger as a lock pick. But perhaps that''s all well and good, since I don''t really know how to pick locks in the first place. I''m not a shifty woman, okay? I only enjoy long walks on the beach and eating corpses like anyone else, you know? Tehehe! A great wave of sweetness wafts out from the dark below, and I can''t help but inhale deeply as a smile spreads across my face. I sure do hope I don''t develop olfactophilia from all this sniffing and smelling... I''m not super hungry, but who am I to say no to a snack? Besides, if I get enough biomass I can fix up my body so it''s less... zombyish, zombish? Beard-san will probably be more accomodating if I look less monstrous and corpsy. That would be good, right? Not that I don''t think corpse lolis are cool, because they definitely are, okay? You hear me, me? But no matter how cool I am, I still get a bit freaked out when I see my exposed ribcage, so I''ve decided to properly fix up my body. "Well, here goes nothing." I mutter, putting a skeletal foot on the first rung of the ladder down. It creaks a little and feels slightly mushy, but it''s okay since I''m a lightweight, tehehe. When I once more have my two feet planted firmly on solid flooring, I take a moment to survey my surroundings and nearly projectile vomit myself back up the staircase. Jeez, so many corpses... and they''re all wearing nice clothes too. There''s a bunch of child corpses as well... During the battle, these people probably hid down here hoping that the soldiers would miss them and they could go back up. But some sick fucker trapped them down here. So instead of dying quickly, they died a slow and agonizing death that lasted a week instead of an instant. Their deaths could''ve been caused by disease or poison too, I guess. In this world, people have magic right? But I guess it''s not that normal to possess a lot of magic, otherwise surely one of these guys would''ve helped break out of the cellar. But... well, they are here now, that huge pile of mostly whole corpses. I swallow my saliva and nearly start crying. Because... because I really want to eat them, even the children. Only Otep is allowed to eat the children raw, not me. Or... maybe an exception can be made because I am an adorable corpse loli? Uguu! No no Alyce, focus. I squint and study the clothes. They seem to be in fine shape, if you disregard the rotting corpses currently inhabiting them. The state of the corpses down here is certainly a lot better than the soldiers above. It''s the difference between a half devoured chicken, exposing its bones and strips of flesh... and a whole chicken that looks slightly past its expiration date. I just stare for a moment, since I know this isn''t going to be easy. But I''ve got a mountain of flesh here which I need to fix my body, as well as an abundance of clothes from which to choose before I return to Beard-san. If he''s even still there. I should check... I sit down and close my eyes, focusing on Raven-chan. Suddenly my vision tilts and my stomach lurches. Ugh, why are you so high up raven-chan! No, no no. Down raven-chan doooown. Raven-chan proceeds to dive beak first towards the ground like a dart, so quickly that I can feel my consciousness flying along with raven-chan... he-hey, raven-chan... the ground is close, you know? Too close, you know!? Darkness. I blink my eyes open, my body jolting from the shock. My head hurts a little bit. Did I... did I just make raven-chan suicide? Oh my god I''m an idiot, ahaha... Deciding to forget about summoning magic for the moment, I refocus my mind on the task at hand. It''s no use crying over spilled milk. I should let bygones be bygones. The magnanimous, big hearted Alyce-chan. Still, the horror of Raven-chan''s last moments will be with me forever. I shiver involuntarily, then I jump to my feet. I gotta move, I gotta do something otherwise I feel like I''m gonna scream. So I walk over to the corpses. God forgive me. I strip all of the children near my size of their clothes, throwing them in a pile near the ladder. The clothes, not the children! I''m not a barbarian, you know. I''m a humane corpse eating loli ghoul, okay? Goddamn it! I try to not look at the corpses too much or I will be sick. So soft and squishy and delish--- no Alyce. Bad Alyce. Gritting my teeth, I walk over to one of the larger shapes because I saw that it had a nice long black cloak. This one was just sitting in a corner enveloped by this black cloak and I can''t see what''s beneath the black cloth at all. "I''ll have you as well, cloak-san." I say as I reach my hand out towards the slumped shape in the corner, silently praying for forgiveness once more as I strip the black cloak from the body. It shouldn''t be a big deal though. I unwrapped many a snack up on the battlefield, but I guess it''s different when the corpses are so... whole. Thankfully the black cloak comes off easily and I throw it in the pile of clothes as well. Then I turn back and find a man standing before me in only his underwear. "wh-whawha?" I let out a strange sound and fall on my ass. Oh great, you''re the embodiment of elegance Alyce. A groan escapes from the man, and as I take a closer look, I realise. His flesh droops, and he looks rather sickly, oh and his eyes are red. So that probably means he''s not exactly friendly? Maybe? Why did I aggro an almost naked man? Hey! I... I know that lolis frequently aggro grown men in anime, but this is real life, you know?! Just as I jump back to my feet, the thingie shambles towards me with another groan and swipes a hand at me in a rather lazy way, as though it''s batting aside a fly. It doesn''t look very threatening at all, so I just raise an arm to block it. When the zombie man''s attack hits me, pain erupts through my arm followed by a sickly snap. I feel a whoosh as I am catapulted backwards into the far wall. My head impacts the wall and my world blinks briefly to black. Dizzy and not really knowing what happened, I stand back up with spots dancing in my vision. The pain of my broken arm is severe, but I''ve been through much worse so I don''t let it bother me. How strange. That attack looked so weak, and yet it was so strong. I have to remind myself that I''m just a weak low level noob right now, so even sloppy zombies like this guy can be dangerous I guess. Having learned my lesson, I jump towards it to bait out one of those slow sweeps. It complies with my feint and exposes itself. I duck under the attack and punch upwards catching the zombie in the jaw. With a crack the head snaps up. Ugh, now my hand is broken too, but the zombie falls down so I guess my attack was effective. The thing is still writhing on the ground, slowly trying to get back up, groaning and moaning. This is a bit easy... I just walk over and stomp on its face a few times until there''s not much head left. It''s a bit like mashing a giant potato with my feet, haha. A giant, very smelly potato. The zombie doesn''t smell sweet like the other corpses. It somehow smells sickly and unappetizing, a bit like the corpse homies. There''s a difference in scent between living corpses and dead ones, I guess. Trust me on this. Alyce-chan is, after all, a corpse connoisseur! fufufu.
Congratulations, you''ve defeated Zombie man level 14.
Congratulations, you''ve leveled up! +7 attribute points, +10 constitution.
Huh? That thing was only level 14, yet it destroyed me when it hit? Though I suppose it traded speed for strength even though that makes no sense at all... when in doubt, chalk it up to magic I guess. I dunno. Good thing I got a level though, but I didn''t get another talent point or trait. I guess they are more rare than in World of warcraft vanilla. In that game you got a talent point every level after 10. Maybe I will get another point and trait when I reach level 20? I want to hurry up and find out whether my hypothesis is correct! Alyce-chan powerleveling go!Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. Although it wasn''t a very big ordeal for me to defeat zombie man, one fact remains. I look down at my dangling right arm, bone protruding from soft, sickly flesh. It''s more broken than Rakan in negima, and... my head is spinning. The sweet scent of delicious nom nom flesh invades my nostrils and drool gushes from my mouth like a waterfall. Oh shit, it''s coming. The madness is coming! I involuntarily take a step towards the huge pile of naked bodies... and another and another. Before I realize what I''m doing, I''m already there, my body bending down over a corpse, my teeth gnashing and snapping, my mouth raining unsightly strings of drool down on the nearest corpse. I close my eyes because I don''t want to see this. It''s like I''m someone else right now. And yet, this is me. At least I can still think a little bit, even if I can''t control... aaarhgh. Hungry. Yes. Meat. Sweet meat is made of this! Who am I to disagree! I dig in and the meat is soft and very easy to consume. Kukuku, I shall defeat this dessert! When I am done, nothing shall remain! Tehehe!
Warning: You have consumed a large amount of biomass considerably exceeding storage capacity. Recommended action: Regenerate body.
So it''s not inferior biomass this time? Maybe it''s the state of the corpses, or maybe the system rates nobles higher than soldiers. I really don''t know, this system is confusing. At least with this, I should have enough to restore my body, I hope.
Call of the Grave Queen: +3 Str, +7 Dex, +5 Cons, +39 Int, +23 Wis, +14 Perc, +21 Spi
As expected, these people weren''t warriors. If anything they were scholars or whatever. Maybe being a noble is a class, the heck do I know? In any case, it seems like quite the good stat harvest, though I am really getting sick of this all you can eat buffet...
Congratulations: Level up x5! 35 undistributed attribute points available. +50 Constitution.
Okay, the fact that I got so much experience from these civilian corpses must mean that I am still low leveled, and that there was a big shot or two mixed in. Yup, that''s probably it. I doubt that the kids were high level... oh god, I ate children. This time the level ups feel good, but also painful. It''s... terrible. I am a rotting corpse that levels up by eating dead children... fantasy world? More like horror world. I feel empty, desolate, forgotten. This is insanity. I went from calm and collected to insane monster in seconds. I have to get myself under control if I want to go back to Dwarf-san and try entering civilized society. Cutting my finger and going on a rampage in the city is no good. I have to fix this... I have to fix myself. Maybe this state is related to my body? It''s all skeletal and decomposing, so logically speaking I''m not exactly in the best and most stable of conditions. My brain might be the same, seeing as brains are considered to be a part of a body. Maybe I have brain rot in the literal sense of the word, tehepero! Wait, now''s not the time to be teheperoing, Baka Alyce! Crouching in a corner of the cellar, I feel hideous and disgusting. I want to puke. I can''t believe I ate that big mountain of corpses. How does that even work? Very tasty though. I close my eyes and lean my bare back against the wall. The exposed bones in my body scrape against the wall when I slide down a little ways to get into a more comfortable sitting position, but I pay it no mind. This meal. I will make sure to repay these good men, women and children by making myself nice and whole. With this, I hope I can change my status, so I don''t rot away like a zombie. I want to slip into unconsciousness to try and forget about this nightmare, but I can''t. I won''t. Taking the easy way out is no good, you know? I''m going to take charge of rebuilding my body and it''s going to be painful. Hmm. I have an interesting idea and I''m going to try it out! I really hope this will work. I can''t help the spark of excitement that lights within me. Hey, I''m a fickle creature, you know? I can''t help it if I''m hot, then cold like that crappy Curry pat pop song, okay? Goddamn it! Wait... I feel like I got the singer''s name wrong. Umu, don''t care. [Activate skill: Flesh Manipulation.] I feel meat appearing from thin air. I feel ticklish tingles all over my body. I can even feel my exposed ribs slowly being covered by a layer of muscle and fat and tendons and all sorts of other things for which I don''t have a name. It takes some time and some pain, but the creepy crawly tingly feeling is finally receding, which must mean that my outer layer is mostly finished? I look down and the spot on my ribcage is now covered by pale white flesh. It looks corpse-like, but I am an undead after all. I used this body as a base to restore everything, so although I don''t have a mirror right now I''m pretty sure I look a lot better than before. The one thing I can see is the long, elegant white mane of hair that goes all the way down to my waist! Fufu, bow down to your hair goddess. Now my dream of earning revenue off of shampoo commercials will finally come true! But wait, why is shampoo called shampoo? It has sham in the name, as well as poo. Holy shit! Does this mean that shampoo is a shitty scam!? What is life? Help! Oh, I know of a way to check for my appearance. I can''t see it, but I can check if it''s restored or not through-- "STATUS!" I yell excitedly and it comes out as a growl. Oh damn, it''s not just the outer layer that''s important. I need to fix me up some vocal cords and stuff too.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Monster Rank: G+++
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 17
Character Status
Health: 1879 Mana: 3547 Stamina: 1217 Class: None
Strength: 33 Intelligence: 75 Charisma: 58 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 26 Wisdom: 53 Spirit: 52 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 165 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: 5% Earth: 5% Fire: 5% Air: 5%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: 5% Earth: 5% Fire: 5% Air: 5%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception. Current radius: 64 Meters (100 max).
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 1 (Active) Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation 1 (Active) Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 1 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Hmm, my charisma is pretty high now? I knew it, I am a devilishly pretty corpse loli, fufufu! Still a corpse though, but I knew it! I am perfect after all, ehehe. But... for a perfect corpse such as myself, clothes are a necessary commodity. The soggy rag that just barely obscures the dangerous parts doesn''t count as clothing! Not at all, okay? Goddamn it! Thankfully, I have an ample supply of freshly taken off clothes. They smell a bit sweet and corpsy, but I probably do as well given how I''ve pretty much been bathing in rot, blood and decaying bodies since I spawned or whatever I did. I quickly slip out of the disgusting rag and wander over to peruse my options in this morbid wardrobe of mine. I sorted the clothes into wearable sets when I stripped the child corpses, so I just walk by the line of clothes and look for something nice that fits me. Although they might smell a little bit of death, I pick out an elegant looking dress which had at some point belonged to a noble child. There were also some very long black socks that went up to above my knees and I was very happy with that. I love me some snuggly socks, I just wish these were clean but that will come later. For now this will do! And her shoes are cute too, they look like mary jane shoes from my previous life, lacquered black with a little strap across the open top. As I put on the shoes and complete my outfit, I can''t help but grin. It feels great to finally have proper clothes again, to have nice long hair and shoes that fit snugly as though they were made for my feet. With this, I hope that the dangerous monster madness will recede a bit. It will, right? madness-chan, you will, won''t you? Pwetty pwease with cupcakes on top? "Yosh!" I say, nodding to myself. My voice still comes out as a growlie growl, which reminds me that I have yet to repair my vocal cords and innards yet. It''s not just the outer shell that''s important, no. What''s inside is important as well. Closing my eyes briefly, I check on the biomass level but it seems to be fine. I still have more than enough since I didn''t do any special modifications to my body yet, aaah but I really want to do that too, right here right now! [Activate Flesh Manipulation] Focusing my mind, I imagine some high-pitched girly voices that I heard many times before in my previous life. Guess binge-watching anime late at night has some benefits in this world? My throat starts tingling and it feels really funny and weird and slightly disturbing, like ants are crawling around inside my throat. I vehemently resist coughing and clearing my throat because I do not want to disturb the process. After some time, the warm throat itch finally recedes and a very welcome prompt greets me.
Congratulations. You have successfully used Flesh manipulation (unique skill) to craft The very pure and exceedingly innocent angel''s perfect note vocal cords (Grade: Legendary, unique.) Your voice is like the tinkling of the finest little bell, very clean and pure and pleasant. +10 Charisma.
Clearing my throat, I part my lips and let fly an elegant song. "test test, testicle test. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck! Aaah, Ooooh, Aaaah. Fuck!" I giggle because of my cute, high pitched voice. This voice is not meant to say such words. Dangerous, dangerous. This will work very well if I can get dwarf-san to teach me how to swear properly. Fuhaha, my evil plan. I wonder, will it succeed? "But what''s up with that name? I somehow feel its ironic... But still, I sound so cute!" I resist the urge to tilt my head towards the camera and peace the shit out of it. There''s no camera though. "This isn''t even my final form!" I shout. Even shouting, I sound good. Fufufu, let''s not become a narcissist okay? [Activate Flesh Manipulation!] I''m feeling horney, so I picture some small and cute oni horns in my mind. Something subtle, small and non-obstructive. The feeling results in two drilling pains, as though two men are drilling holes in my head with electric screwdrivers also known as power drills. Please don''t drill Alyce-chan sho intenshly, owowo. Ugh, uguu, mach, ach... "Achtung!" I shout, and picture in my mind the properties I want.
Congratulations. You have successfully used Flesh manipulation (unique skill) to craft Demon Monarch''s Oni horns of extreme cuteness (Grade: Legendary, unique.) Your horneyness surpasses everything in this world, and all shall bow down before the great demon Monarch once more. Grants: Demon race. Effect: +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Checking my available biomass again, I grit my teeth and activate flesh manipulation one last time. My head is starting to throb painfully and I realize I am pushing myself a bit far, but I have to do this. I feel slightly faint, but I will just bite my tongue if I feel like my consciousness is going to fly away. Focus, focus! I strain my mind and picture pointy ears. Let''s go elf ears! Japanese horizontal style please. Size? I will take a small, thank you bery much! Oooh, I feel something stretching and changing. It feels itchy like with the other changes, but it''s not nearly as bad as the horns being drilled into my skull. I easily ace the itch test with full points and obtain myself a pair of gloriously cute horizontal elf ears. Yes!
Congratulations. You have successfully used Flesh manipulation (unique skill) to craft High-elven ears of forest pearl. (Grade: Legendary, unique.) Grants sub-race: High-elf. Effect: +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Warning: A large amount of biomass has been expended.
The world tilts on its head and I fall to my knees. It feels like my consciousness is sailing away on a boat. I''m fighting to stay afloat on the high seas. Swaying, swaying. Swayayay. Not! I bite my tongue hard and somehow stay conscious. I must make my way back to Dwarf-san now! I can even talk to him with my new vocal cords. My only fault is that I smell a bit like a corpse, but that''s that and this is this. I grab the large black cloak and wrap myself in it, slipping my thin arms into the large sleeves. The cloak covers me completely and the hood on the cloak is pretty huge too. "I''m not a jedi, am I? I think I''d rather be a sith. Umu." Nodding to myself, I walk over and carefully climb back up the slighty rotten stairs, but this time I have shoes on so I can''t feel the squishy wood beneath my feet. Dwarf-san, here I come! Chapter 5 - ラノベ主人公病、直したほうがよさそうかな？ When I emerged from the basement dungeon, the dark of night still blanketed the empyrean expanse over the world, but by the time I had managed to return to Dwarf-san''s picnic spot, blood red sunrays were starting to pierce the nights duvt of darkness. That''s fine, but... Dwarf-san is missing. Puffing my cheeks out, I cross my arms. "Hmpf. Who needs Dwarf-san anyway." I say to the empty air. After holding my pose of discontent for some time, I give in. It''s not like I just want him to teach me to swear like a dwarf, you know? It''s definitely because I need him to answer my questions about this world. He owes me a favor after all. "There is no escape! Raven-chan, come forth!" I say as I cast [Summon Raven familiar 1] Pfuuh, I''m starting to get the hang of this. Raven-chan appears out of thin air just like before, though she appears to be giving me the evil eye. Or maybe it''s just my imagination? Haha, that''s right. Since my Raven-chan has red eyes, she''s always giving the evil eye, right? Yes, let''s go with that. She''s definitely not glaring at me because I made her suicide, okay? Goddamn it! In any case, Raven-chan has no choice but to obey my orders, so she flies off to search for the dwarf. Although this is a forest, the canopies don''t obscure the sky that much. Given that he was just stabbed and left for dead, he couldn''t have made it far, could he? While Raven-chan is searching, I sit down close to where the dwarf was stabbed and look over my stats.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Monster Rank: G+++
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 17
Character Status
Health: 1879 Mana: 3547 Stamina: 1217 Class: None
Strength: 33 Intelligence: 75 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 26 Wisdom: 53 Spirit: 52 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 165 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
I think it''s time to use my remaining attribute points, since I feel like I''m leaving the starting area so I need to be stronger. I would''ve liked to get an explanation of the stats from the Dwarf before proceeding with the stat allocation, but honestly, since I am a gamer I can probably wing it. I got Odin''s blessing so I will definitely go for a magic centered build. Since that''s the case, investing in int is a must. Any pleb should know this. I put one point into int and watch my mana. Nice, it grew by 30 points. For my next experiment, I put one point into wisdom. This time, my mana increased by only 15, but wisdom must definitely have other benefits besides the MP gain, such as increasing my mana regen or something. Next up is spirit, I invest one point and in return get 7 MP. To be honest, that''s a little small. Spirit is for priests and shamans and that type of class, right? I don''t think I need to invest much in that. Looks like I should focus on int and dip my toe into wisdom occasionally. Although spirit could also increase my MP regen... I don''t know but it''s not worth risking now. Having decided on a course of action, I close my eyes and allocate my remaining attribute points. "There''s no better time than the present, let''s go! Yay!" I yell in my high-pitched voice, raising a small clenched fist in the air. I put 81 points into intelligence instead of 80, just in-case one of the Gods that cursed me has OCD and is watching. Then I put 20 into wisdom, and dump the last 8 points in strength because, after all, it''s nice to not be totally weak. I haven''t really learned any cool magic yet. Another thing I gotta ask... dwarf...san...about... ugh my head is spinning so much. There''s a whoosh in my ears, almost as if the ocean is washing over me. I feel a great wave of energy run through me, making my spine tingle. I lean my head back against the tree where dwarf-san was sitting and close my eyes. I don''t know how long I stayed like that, if I passed out or just had a nap or just closed my eyes for a second. I can''t really say. The only thing I can say, is that when I opened my eyes, a changed status screen floated in my vision, signifying a changed me!
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Monster Rank: G+++
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 17
Character Status
Health: 1903 Mana: 6097 Stamina: 1249 Class: None
Strength: 42 Intelligence: 156 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 26 Wisdom: 73 Spirit: 52 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 165 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception. Current radius: 64 Meters (100 max).
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 1 (Active) Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation 10 (Active) Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 1 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Uwah, I''m pretty awesome aren''t I? HAWSOME! Ah that''s right, I have to call Raven-chan. Mimicking a phone with my hand, I establish a mental connection to my familiar. "Hello hello? Raven-chan can you hear me? It is I, the loli of death." I say, after a few seconds I get a nice response, images of where Raven-chan is, the way to get there and info on Dwarf-san. "Good job, my personal GPS. So you''re saying that Dwarf-san is camping right now even though it''s day time? Is he perhaps travelling during the night? What is this, a zombie apocalypse?!" Clearing my throat, I hang up the Raven-chan connection and start walking towards Dwarf-san''s camp. Walking underneath treetops of green, the wind occasionally rustles the leaves and streaks of morning sunlight stream through the canopies, illuminating the mighty loli of death. Fufufu, yes. But I have to watch my footing lest I trip over the numerous roots and low foliage. Forest flowers of white, yellow and red decorate the earth and vines occasionally snake up around thick, old looking tree trunks. Occasionally I pass by some moss covered rocks or big mushrooms. I also passed by a berry bush with purple berries, but that was no good. I tasted one of the berries, but had to spit it out since it wasn''t berry gud. "Yuck, tastes like moldy old man underwear." After the brief bushcapade, I decided to focus on catching up to Dwarf-san. Seems like he''s still resting and according to Raven-chan I am near. Yes, I can see it now. I am approaching the clearing that Raven-chan mapped out. Just beyond the clearing, there should be some shrubbery. Dwarf-san should be sleeping in there. But... since I''m this close, I''m getting a tittle anxious. After all, he''s going to take my oral virginity **cough** I mean, he''s going to be the first person I''ll speak with after coming to this world, so I''m a bit nervous. Biting my lower lip, I push through the wall of green and walk into the clearing. I snap me some twigs and rustle me some bushie-wushies, but Dwarf-san should be tired. I should be good to go. Taking a deep breath, I clench my fists and face towards the unassuming shrubbery. I''m still completely covered by the cloak, so I might look a bit like an opponent. Dwarf-san is sleeping so it should be fine--- "Hiiiiiiieeeh!" I scream as the greenery in front of me explodes and gleaming armor emerges and with it, a huge braided black beard. "What be the meaning of this. They send a gnome lad to dispose of me?" Dwarf-san looks displeased as he calmly brandishes the glowing blue sword I pulled out of him. "Me damn family''s still looking down on me, aye that they be." The dwarf grumbled, stepping towards me. When he got a few steps closer, his frown deepened and his mouth turned down. "This smell, ye be one of the damned then. I swear on me life I''ll gut that goddamn arch-lich meself for turning this place into a graveyard!" Dwarf-san says, raising the sword to strike. I hurry to raise my hands. "Wait wait, waaaaaait!" I shout, and Dwarf-san freezes mid swing. I quickly swipe the hood off my face and look up at dwarf-san, biting my lip. I am nervous after all. Dwarf-san''s eyes grow wider and wider as he stares at me in silence. "What in the bloody hells..." he mutters underneath his breath. "I... I''m not your enemy, okay? Goddamn it!" I say, stamping my foot on the ground out of reflex. When I realize what I''ve done, my face grows hot and I avert my eyes. Shit. I wanted the first impression to be good, but this is...Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. Dwarf-san is still not moving, so I look up to find him staring at me with an amused expression. Actually, he''s clearly suppressing laughter. I puff out my cheeks and try to give him the evil eye, but Dwarf-san just starts shaking with silent laughter instead of repenting! "Hmpf, I''m not even interested in having you teach me to swear anymore." I say and turn my back to him. Before I''ve even taken a single step, the dwarf lets out a rough, bellowing laugh. "Yahaha, blood and ashes that surprised me." Dwarf-san says, still trying to suppress his laughter. I guess I can''t blame him, so I turn to face him once more. I still don''t know what to say, and I don''t want to make an embarrassment out of myself again, so I stay quiet. After a moment of silence, Dwarf-san asks "So what are ye?" I shrug my shoulders. "I''m Alyce? Nice to meet you." I say, curtseying and lowering my head briefly. I look up to find the dwarf looking at me oddly, so I cock my head. Finally, dwarf-sans spirit seems to return to his body and he shakes his head once before replying. "I be Gromnir Redskull, though me family''s not exactly fond of me at the moment. Call me Grom." Dwarf-san says, extending a huge, hairy meaty sausage-fingered fist to me. I reach my hand out to him, but his huge fist completely swallows my small hand. Nevertheless, the greeting goes well and we shake a few times. Yosh, successfully greeting another person for the first time! Achievement unlocked, social interaction level up! Yay, yay! "Ye certainly look happy little lass." Grom says. I nod enthusiastically. "Uhn. I am! You''re my first and I performed amiably if I have to say so myself, except for that first slip of course. Otherwise I will give myself full points! What do you think of my performance, Dwarf-san? I mean Grom." Dwarf-san looks at me oddly for a moment before shaking his head. "I ain''t got a blastin'' clue what ye be saying lass." I cough a few times to clear my throat, definitely not to hide my embarrassment. After having pressed the reset button, I re-engage! "The conversation went a bit off track didn''t it?" I say. "And whose fault is that!?" Grom shouts back. With glistening eyes, I look up at him and smile. He takes a step back. "Wha what''s with that creepy gaze?" I just keep smiling until Grom lets out a heavy sigh. "Me belly''s not right for this. Hurts like a bitch." He complains, walking over to a tree and sitting down. I follow behind him and wait until he''s seated, then I approach him. "You can slap me if you want." I say, tilting my head and looking at Grom. I I feel like the tsukkomi isn''t quite complete without the Hamada slap and a quick nandeyanen. Grom''s eyes widen and his jaw drops. "What are ye saying!?" His expression is truly shocked, so I sit down in front of him and try to look normal. "The joke..." I say, my tone a bit sad. Then I shake my head. "Ah, it can''t be helped, can it? There''s no way he can understand it if I don''t explain it to him" To that, Grom nods wearily. "Aye, truer words naer been spoken lass. Now, care ye to tell me why the flaming farts ye be here? I haven''t got a clue what''s going on. I''m a bit wounded at the moment, but I''d thought me mind clear. Now seeing you, I begin to doubt me own sanity a wee bit." "Hmm, how so?" I say. Have I done something bad? Making someone doubt their sanity... could be considered slightly, only slightly mind you... but still a bit bad? A tiny bit bad? "Well, ye smell like one of dem ugly-ass corpses, yet ye be very pretty so it''s bloody confusing is what it is. Ye have horns like a demon and ears like a bloody high-elf and eyes..." with that, Grom trails off and his brow furrows. "Those eyes..." Grom says neath his breath. "Those eyes... I have seen those eyes before. Back then. But... what? No it can''t be, but the smell..." "Alright, alright, I get it!" I say, making Grom jump. "I get that I smell, okay Grom? You don''t have to remind me all the time, goddamn it! Besides, the odor of your body isn''t exactly the best either, is it? Hmm?" I say, getting to my feet in front of Grom and crossing my arms over my non-existent chest in protest. Grom looks at me a moment before chuckling. "Aye, still haven''t gotten to the river fer a dip yet. It be a bit further up ahead." "Ooh, river-chan!" I say, making Grom look at me strangely again. Then something in his eyes seem to change and it''s as if a lightbulb has turned on in his brain. "Ah, I get it now. You be one of them forest fairies. They like messing with people''s heads and they be very good at illusion magic and mind magic." "Sorry to disappoint, but I''m not a fairy." I pause for a moment for effect before smiling and showing him my ghoul fangs. "Not a fairy, but a ghoul! If you aren''t careful I''ll eat you, you know? Maybe that''d be for the best. After all, my journey would be far too clichd if I were accompanied by a grumpy dwarf." Grom laughs and shakes his head. "I don''t get ye, but... well, ye be alright with me lass. Where ye headed?" Hm, looks like he still doesn''t believe me. "Truthfully I have no idea. Been wondering that very thing ever since I first woke up on that battlefield. Huh Grom? What''s with that expression?" Grom''s face darkened considerably. "The Siege of Redwater castle. That was one hell of a battle, but in the end that lich bastard won." "I don''t really know about that, I just woke up on the battlefield and I was really, reeeeaaaly hungry, you know?" I pause, my hands fidgeting with the edges of the cloak. I have to come clean though. "So, after I woke up I saw some corpse homies and followed them. I killed one of them and scared the others off and then..." I trail off, glacing over at Grom. He is staring at me frozen in shock. Nothing unusual about his condition then, so I can continue the story I think. "and then I heard a dwarf swearing. It was very glorious. Unfortunately the corpse homies, I mean the ghouls, they heard the dwarf too and rushed towards him. I followed and tried to defeat them, but I was too weak and then there was that white light and the corpse hom- the ghouls were gone." I looked up briefly, but it was no good. Grom''s eyes were vacant and he was just staring at me in muted disbelief. I clear my throat and continue. Ahen. So after that, I pulled the sword from your back and tried to wrap your wound, but it was no good. But the white light came again and the bleeding stopped... not really sure what happened, but I''m sorry I couldn''t do it better. I say, my voice growing quiet. I stare down at my shoes and move my right foot back and forth a bit, gently tapping and scraping at the ground. Why... anxious middle-school tick, why did you appear? Go away! Grom let''s out a chuckle and I look up. So you were the one that saved me? I was wondering how that happened, but I couldn''t do shit when it was stuck in me. Couldn''t even use me healing magic. Grom said. I nod my head. That''s right, I saved you, you know? Be grateful, you hairy slab of meat! Oh no! I quickly cough into my hand a few times and vigorously press the reset button. Um, ignore that please. Anyway, it''s true I saved you, so you owe me a favor. Grom, who could barely hold back his laughter, just looked at me Oooh, is that so? And what would ye have me do? Ye little fox. Teach me to swear! Oh... and answer a few of my questions about... stuff. Grom runs one of his hands through the edges of his beard. I can do that. Answer yer questions that is. It be unethical for me to tell ye how to turn the gentlemans phrase though. I can''t believe this. After all, it''s no good?! Come on, why? No matter how ye look at it, teaching a little girl to swear... me dead mam''ll scold me severely. Hmph, and here I thought you were my friend. I say, crossing my arms and turning my back to Dwarf-san. Oh come on lassy, give me a break will ye? I''ll think about teaching ye, so for now come sit and let''s talk. I turn back to Grom, who has the gall to look pleased with himself. Hmpf, fine. I say, walking over to the tree next to him and sitting down. Grom looks over at me and I stare back trying to keep my face neutral. Pokerface, activate! Though I don''t think a pokerface is supposed to feel so strained. I can feel a twitchy twitch near my right eye and dwarf-san is trying to hold back his laughter again. Sighing, I relax my facial mooscles and he seems to calm down too. So lass, ye says ye be having questions fer me? I nod. Before ye ask me, can I ask ye a question? I shrug my shoulders and indicate he should go right ahead. A give and take relationship is fine with me, as long as I get what I want. Are ye really that child ghoul from back then? Ye look very different, much less... Nasty? Grotesque? Abdominal? I shoot back, but I feel like I butchered the last word. I hurriedly press the reset button so Grom doesn''t notice. Well it''s true that you caught me at a bad time. I had just woken up and my body was all messed up. I just had to fix it with my skill so it''s fine now, you know? No biggie. So that was really you? It''s hard ta believe. Grom said. I just stared at him, so in the end, he sighed and waved his hand in the air. Go on then, interrogate away me lassy. For a moment, my mind went blank. After all, I had so many questions to ask. What are monster ranks and what does mine mean? Is there an adventurers guild? What are the guild ranks? What about levels, attributes, classes and talent points and races and traits and... I shook my head. Grom-san is still patiently waiting for my question, so I take a deep breath and try to collect my scattered brain. Let''s start with a where and go from there! Redwater castle, was it? Where exactly are we? I ask, and Grom raises his eyebrows. We be on Damrin isle off the coast of Almilten. Where did ye come from if ye dinnae knew that? I could only shrug. I don''t know, don''t remember. I woke up on the battlefield. Maybe I lived in redwater castle, I cannot remember anything prior to the battle nor the battle itself, so I''m not sure... So ye don''t know bout the arch-lich? Grom asks, I shake my head. Apparently, the damn thing is trying to build a necropolis. It started slaughtering everything on this island and adventurers were called to help fortify Lenkhal, but we lost the city and had to retreat to Redwater castle. That wannae good else though and we knew it was only a matter of time fere even the Redwater castle fell. After that we were ordered to return but... You were betrayed. I reply, and Grom nods grimly. Aye. By me own bloody family of all things. Should''ve seen it coming, I should. Me sisters always been a shify, power hungry bitch, but I dinnae knew it was to this extent.. Grom said, a pained expression on his face. I''m guessing now is not the ideal time for us to take it easy. Maybe we can''t even clean ourselves in the river? I say, and Grom nods in agreement as he gets to his feet with a clank of armor. Even though there was a conspicuous hole in the breastplate, the armor itself still looked quite formidable as did the glowing blue sword. Grom was quite huge and broad, like an enormous block of meat. You wouldn''t know he was injured if you just took a glance at him because he looked like the definition of sturdy. And yet I knew him to be wounded. I cocked my head to one side. Can''t you heal yourself? I wish lass, I wish. But that scumgobbling pile ''o bones be setting up ziggurats. They be foul things that spread plague and rot and death. They block holy magic in a certain radius depending on their size, you have ta be extremely strong to still use holy magic under the oppressive influence of the ziggurats, and cleric be only one of me sub-classes not me main one. Speaking of classes, I have some questions. Let''s walk while we talk. Where do you think we should go? I ask the dwarf. He seems to be more experienced than me and he called himself an Adventurer, though of what rank and strength I don''t know. We should definitely get off the island, but I don''t fancy swimming to land. It be a bit too far. Does this Lintball place have ships? If it does then let''s go there. I say. It''s Lenkhal and aye, me thinks they still have ships. The bloody ribcage in robes be planning to invade the mainland and spread. That''s how they work. Grom replies, starting to walk. I trust that he knows his way around here, for I certainly don''t. Ah yesh! Bloody... bloody calcium deficient, closet-rattling framework of a person! I yell, pumping my fist in the air and running after Grom to catch up. He looks at me strangely and says nothing. Could it be he approved of my no doubt amazing cursations!? Ah but dwarf-san is a cursing veteran so there''s no way he would be impressed with such paltry demonstrations of the Alyce-chan put-down. I must up my game and grind my skill in the put-down. Ohoho. What''s got ye so fired up lass? We be heading into a place crawling with the undead, which reminds me. What be yer class and level? At his question, I can feel my face getting hot, although I am definitely not blushing, you hear me?! Goddamn it! A-actually, I don''t have a class... I don''t know if I lost it when I became a ghoul, but right now I''m just a class-less level 17. If I knew some spells I might be able to help, but I only have one summoning spell and I''m not sure my summon can even fight. I say, my voice nearly a whisper. Dejected, I walk behind Grom watching his huge, broad back sway from side to side as he plows through the underbrush like a tank. That be a shame, but we be needing all the help we can get. Still... to take on an Arch-lich by meself... Grom grumbled. We won''t fight them directly, right? Surely you''re not that stupid? I ask. Who''s the adventurer here again lass? Huh? Who''s the one that saved your life here again, hmm? We continued talking as we walked and Grom revealed that he was a level 79 Berserker with the cleric and blacksmith(crafter: armorer) sub-classes. Apparently his adventurer rank is only D class despite the fact that he is level 79. Also, it seems like crafting and profession classes differ from combat classes. That means you can be an artisan without weakening yourself, which is good. Maybe crafting classes even boost you in combat? That would be cool. Henceforth, I shall found the Federal bureau of system-chan investigations! Yes. We walked for awhile and eventually came upon a road just as the light was dimming and night was sneaking across the heavens. We followed the dirt road and it expanded more and more the further we traveled along, slowly morphing from a meandering forest path to something resembling a 1 cart lane. So what''s the highest leveled person you know? I ask him. Know personally? That would be Bertram. Tenacious old bugger for a human. He be an A ranked wizard and the guild master in the Larlen adventurers guild branch. I don''t know his precise level, but he''d have ta be over level 600 to be considered one of the strongest A ranks as he is. Not quite S rank but close enough. That''s... quite high? Aye, but compared to the legends old Bertram''s just ordinary. They say the ancient Demon Monarch from two thousand years ago was over level 900. Can ye believe that? And not only was it over level 900, it was also a legendary grade monster. Well, it also ain''t that unusual for dragons to be high leveled even nowadays, and most dragons are at least epic quality. Shit... and I''m only level 17... please forgive me, but I don''t want to join club seventeen and I don''t want to be forever 17 and I don''t want...**cough** cough** Yes, well, it seems I have a ways to go before I catch up to those people... My voice trails off as we round a bend and instead of forest, what stretches before me is a hilly landscape, but it looks off somehow. The grass is a withered yellowish brown and near the horizon the grass turns into a blackened scorched dead wasteland. The land looks a bit unhealthy. I remark and Grom turns to me. What do ya mean? he asks. The grass is withered and further up ahead everything''s all black and dead. I reply, and Groms expression grows serious. So it''s reached this far out already. We must hurry lass, lest we miss our chance. Grom says, walking quickly up the road. I struggle to keep up with my short legs. Hah... the irony. My legs are shorter than those of a dwarf, but to be honest Grom doesn''t look anything like the dwarves in fantasy. He''s huge... maybe I mistook a very square-shaped human for a dwarf? Will he be mad if I ask him? He didn''t correct me before, so it''s only natural to assume that he is an overgrown dwarf and not a square-shaped human, right? Nyah, it''s not like I care anyway. I mumble underneath my breath, lost in my own world. That is the best world, you know? Ye should care. There be no other easy way off the island. Though calling what we''re gonna do easy ain''t right either. Just over that blackened hill lies Lenkhal and although it''s our way off the island, it currently be crawling with the undead and an Arch-lich Grom says. So, we shall go to Lintball and commandeer a vessel from boner-kun and his army? Sounds like fun. Raven-chan, come! It''s time to become a pirate, arr! I say, summoning Raven-chan. Fufufu, behold the great Lolician in action. Super cool! Grom watches with interest as the air collapses in on itself and my lovely GPS emerges from the distorted space. His eyes go round as saucers when he gets a second chance to look over Raven-chan. Isn''t she awesome? I say, still bathing in the glorious lolican vibe. I stand with arms Akimbo and fufufu, proudly raising my chest. My raven-chan is the best, you know? Grom nods. Aye, that be a big Raven. I feel like I''ve seen... Groms eyes nearly pop out of his head. You''re shitting me. This... isn''t this that stupid bird that nosedived to its death right in front a'' me? Grom shouts. I crumble to the ground and hide my flaming head in my hands. Chapter 6 – Escape from Lintball、バーニング！ We crest the blackened hill with the withered grass. The dead earth all around contrasts starkly to the stars twinkling in the night sky above us, gems sparkling with energy in the deepness of space. Below us down the hill, I can see the city of Lintball, and further out near the horizon, the masts of ships sway in the wind, the pale yellow moon reflecting off of the dark expanse of the sea. I bet the kids would love to sled down this hill come winter. I remark. Grom-san grunts a non-commital reply. I get the feeling he might''ve gotten used to me a little bit. That''s good, right? It''s definitely not a case of normal people ignoring weird people, okay? Goddamn it! In any case, as we make our way down the steep hill, I spot something strange in the distance. Grom, what''s with those eerie flickering green lights? Me thinks they be coming from the Ziggurats. I feel a disturbing energy from them. If that block of meat can sense something from the lights, there''s no way this magical death-loli won''t be able to, right? I focus my gaze on one of the green, pulsing lights and furrow my brow. Hnnnngggg. I let out a weird sound and clench my jaw, squinting at the green light. Just when I think it''s no good, I feel somethiing mysterious tickling the back of my head. A strange energy that feels cold and foreign, yet somehow soothing. It runs down my spine and makes me shiver. It feels like weird, cold lotion. Not that I ever used cold lotion for anything suspicious, alright?! Uuuuh. I let out another weird sound. This time Grom doesn''t ignore me. What''re ye doing? I.. uh.. I''m sensing the green energy. I say, closing my eyes briefly and letting the cool and envigorating sensation rush over me. Ahh, so refreshing. It''s like I''m being bathed in tingles. I mutter underneath my breath. Oy lass, what are ye doing!? Grom shouts. I open my eyes and look at him in confusion. What? One of the green lights just disappeared lass! That...no, it can''t be you that did that. Must be a coincidence. Grom says before chuckling to himself. However, I think he''s wrong. After all, I can feel a strange foreign energy squirming around inside me. It''s a bit creepy, almost like a cold lotion slime in my stomach, but it also tingles and feels kind of good. It feels like I am overflowing with energy. Need a moment. I gasp, falling to my knees gasping for breath. Once more, I close my eyes and focus on the strange foreign energy. I try to feel its squirming flow. Slimey energy-chan what are you trying to do to my body!? It''s too early for Alyce-chan to become pregnte! I try to get a grasp of where the energy wants to go, but it''s no good. It''s so unruly, this disobedient energy. Disobedient children must be punished, yes yes. Hnnnnngggg I focus, trying to force energy-chan to join my own flow of energy. I know the feeling of my own mana since I summoned Raven-chan several times now. Mana''s becoming a familiar sensation. It''s not that hard for me to group the two together and I can somehow control the unruly energy despite the fact that it''s foreign. Slowly slowly, I force the energy to follow the flow of my mana, circulating it a bit like blood rushing through my veins, except that it''s mana through my... veins? At least that''s what I''m imagining. Slimey energy-chan gradually starts obeying me and going with the flow. Then my body starts tingling all over as energy begins dissolving into the River of my own Mana. A river flows in me, fufufu.
Ping! Gained skill: Mana Manipulation.
Ping! Gained skill: Death Energy Manipulation.
Ping! You''ve successfully manipulated a large mass of death energy.
Ping! Your Death Energy Manipulation has leveled up +1.
Ping! Through skillful manipulation of death energy, you''ve done what should be impossible and absorbed death energy, integrating it into your very being. +50 intelligence (affected by Odin''s blessing). Since it is your first time, you gain +5 int +5 wis +10 spirit aswell.
Ping! Gained skill: Death Energy absorption.
Ping! Achievement unlocked: Death''s embrace. Due to your affinity with death energy and your persistent efforts in trying to manipulate it, you''ve unlocked the Necromancer class option.
Shivering, I open my eyes and look over at Grom, who studies me with wide eyes and a resigned expression. The last thing I hear before fainting is Hey lass, your eyes are glowing. ... Sway, sway, hey! There''s a gentle swaying motion. My eyes snap open with a pyon as I realize what happened. Not again. I mumble and the swaying motion stops. I realize I''m being carried by Grom-san and tap his arm. Hey, let me down now please. He silently complies, lowering me to the ground. We haven''t moved that far, but Lintball is closer now. The fainting was just a cover. It is actually my special teleportation technique, you know? It wont be long before we reach the outskirts of the city. It doesn''t have a wall or anything, but the whiskers of darkness that creep out from the city''s distant streets is ominous. If I get close, it feels like I will be snatched away by curling tendrils of darkness or something, but maybe that''s just my imagination. I hope it''s just my imagination... Do my eyes still glow, how long was I out? I ask Grom-san. No, they don''t glow any longer. They are just dull green now. And you weren''t out long. Grom says, then after a brief pause. What happened back there lassy? Sighing, I decided I''d better explain myself to Grom before we enter the city just in case. You see, when I get a large power-up it feels really good and I get tingles all over and then I faint. I wish system-chan would stop with the fainting spells, but power-ups are good so I can''t complain too vehemently. I say. Grom looks at me with a puzzled expression. Power-ups? Ye mean ye leveled up? Grom asks and I shake my head. No, it''s different. My power increased but I didn''t level up. This time it was because I absorbed the green energy and it made me stronger. Grom runs a hand through his beard and sighs. Ye mean ta tell me that the death energy that an Arch-lich gathered in a ziggurat by slaughtering the inhabitants of this island and capturing their souls, was absorbed by ye!? Grom says. Poor dwarf-san, he is clearly exasperated. It''s no use getting so worked up over it, you know? I mumble. Stop talking to yerself Alyce! I jump. Is that the first time he used my name instead of lass? It must be serious then. Tell me, is it true? Did you really absorb the energy of the Ziggurat?! I lower my head and nod a few times. I definitely did smoke the ziggurat. Grom lets out another sigh. Ah, I wonder why I''m even surprised. Tell me, can ye absorb more? I shrug my shoulders. I don''t know for sure, but I get the feeling that I can. Even now I can feel where the energies are. I say, making a peace sign infront of Groms face. His expression is neutral. I wonder, have I lost my touch? Should I try ahegao double peace on dwarf-san to elicit a reaction? Hmm, maybe later when he least expects it. Now''s not the time since we''re about to begin the Lintball expedition. Looks like I can absorb more, and if I''m careful I don''t think I''ll faint again. It was probably because of ping ping overload. I report to Grom-san with a serious face. I don''t really get it, but good. If ye can absorb them then please do so. It''ll help a lot. Grom replies. At that, I raise my eyebrows. How so? Grom scratches below his beard as he replies. Well, ya see. Ziggurats be where the arch-lich stores the death energy he collects. With each full Soul Ziggurat, his power grows and he becomes more difficult to defeat. That''s why we hafta get ta the mainland and report to the guild before he can become truly strong and raise an army. By the way, ziggurats start as small bone-piles and grow in size depending on their power. These are very new, so we''re lucky... Grom says. Understood. I will try to absorb the rest. I''m gonna sit down and focus, so please guard me. I say, and Grom grunts an affirmative and takes up position between me and the creepy city of Lintball oozing with darkness. I close my eyes and imitate a Lotus meditation pose, stretching my out consciousness to the five remaining slimey energies. I''m gonna smoke some more ziggurats, fufufu I mutter beneath my breath as I grasp the first one and pull at the strands of energy. It''s difficult at first, but after a small tug of resistance the energy obeys my command and flows to me. I repeat the process of merging it with my own mana flow and feel tingly and full of energy. Ooooh this is bad. I''m getting hyper from the energy. I say, wiggling my toes in my shoes and tapping my fingers on my thighs. I''m resisting the urge to jump up and down, but it''s hard. Four more to go, kvickly kvickly, let''s go! Rocking back and forth, I swiftly redirect my attention to the remaining death energy and frantically absorb it.
Ping! You''ve successfully used Death Energy Absorption x5. +250 int
Ping! Death Energy Manipulation level up.
Ping! Death Energy Absorption level up.
Ping! Mana Manipulation level up.
Congratulations! Achievement unlocked: Harvester of Souls. Through wielding the forces of darkness and death, you''ve reaped the souls of countless individuals. Reward: Unlocks the High Warlock class option. +Title Acolyte of Death.
Congratulations! Achievement unlocked: Power overwhelming. You are a truly monstrous and unnatural existence, possessing magnitudes more power than anyone your level and rank should have. Gained Title: Paragon. +1 Monster rank
Congratulations! You''ve become the worlds first Mythic grade monster. +2 to attributes gained per level. +5 to cons gained per level (total 15).
My eyes flutter open as the pings ring in my ears and my vision swims for a bit but I manage to retain my consciousness. Oh. My. Gah! I shout. Grom looks over at me. I take it ye succeeded? I nod, still unable to speak. My head is swimming, my power is surging. I feel... different. Yer eyes lass. A smokey energy be flowing from yer damn eyes like ye be a lich! Grom shouts. I blink my eyes a few times and take a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm my energy flow. Better? I ask, my voice a bit hoarse. Aye, they only be glowing faintly now. But hells bells lassy... Grom says, his voice trailing off into the dead silence of night. Now that I look closer, this is a pretty creepy situation isn''t it? After all, the yellow moon hangs low in the sky, lending a weak eerie glow to the streets of Lintball. And that silence is too unnatural. It''s the silence of the dead. I shake my head a few times to banish the thought, but a shiver still runs down my spine. Well, I''m dead too after all. I should be more comfortable with this. Hmm, I guess this is my human side coming out? I don''t feel particularly anxious about this now. It''s just that I feel like I should be creeped out and scared, yet I am mostly fine. I guess it''s time to finally... ask that question before I delve into the dark streets. Say Grom, how do you select a class? I ask, and he looks at me funny, though I am used to it by now. You know I lost my memories. I don''t know anything, even if it''s supposed to be common knowledge. Grom nods, still keeping half his attention on the outskirts of the city. Aye lass, I know ye lost yer memories, but still... to lose even such basic knowledge. How terrible. I quietly resist the urge to pull on Grom''s beard and yell at him to hurry up with the explanation. It''s not like I''m retarded you know?! My brain is just woefully empty of relevant information, okay? Goddamn it! A lot of people get their first class by simply performing their work, duty or training. A swordsman trains his sword skills, a farmer simply works her farm and so on. But if ye want to actively choose, then ye usually go to an adventurer''s guild. They have a room, and a few other places too, but the adventurers guild is the easiest. It''s the same one where you set your stat priorities when you level up, but I guess ye don''t know about that either. Grom says. Well done beard-san. You''re beginning pay back the favour you owe me by being useful. hmm hmm. I say, smiling up at him and tilting my head to one side. Grom grumbles beneath his breath, and his beard undulates weirdly. Poyo poyo... bushy wushy.... no, I shouldn''t get distracted. There is a goal, an objective. An epic quest! Whoever heard of a heroine going on an epic quest without at least a class? A lady''s gotta have class, you know? And I''m definitely a lady, alright? Just a funsized lady, that''s all, okay? Goddamn it! You said some interesting things there Grom. I remark as I sit down again and close my eyes. What''re ye doing now? I''m going to try to set my class. I have a few available. Grom looks at me as though I''m an idiot, but I''m not an idiot, you know? And how are ye going to do that without a blueroom? Grom asks, his tone incredulous. Instead of replying to Grom, I close my eyes and pull up my stats, mumbling "I''m blue dabudidabudai." If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Monster Rank: G++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 17
Character Status
Health: 1923 Mana: 15557 Stamina: 1279 Class: None
Strength: 42 Intelligence: 461 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 26 Wisdom: 77 Spirit: 62 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 165 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception. Current radius: 64 Meters (100 max).
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 1 (Active) Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX (Active) Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Manipulation 3 (Active) The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Death Energy Manipulation 3 (Active) The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Death Energy Absorption 2 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 1 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Blimey! It looks like I''ve grown considerably from eating the slimey energy, but a normal person wouldn''t be able to do such a thing. First of all, the huge power-up was made possible only because I have 100% death affinity, which I think is very unusual. Secondly, the power-up was so enormous because it was boosted by Odin''s blessing. When I get the chance, I want to wear a raven accessory to thank him, maybe a cool necklace would do? I shake my head and put those considerations to the back of my mind since I''ve got more pressing matters to attend to right now, namely getting my first class! High Warlock or Necromancer. Which one should I choose? Necromancers are masters of death, but in video game lore all they do is raise an army of skeletons and zombies. Not that I don''t think having minions is cool or that I think it would be useless, far from it.... but High Warlock sounds cooler. I just hope it''s a world of warcraft style warlock, but... come to think of it, I have no idea about any class in this world. How does a class work? I guess I''ll find out. Yolo! You only loli once. Ahen.
Ping! Congratulations! You''ve become a High Warlock, a deeply reviled taboo class even more so than the ordinary warlock, who is simply a mage that strayed from the path. You, on the other hand, did not even attempt to set foot on the righteous path, instead you followed your dark inclinations and became a soul eating High Warlock, a master of the forbidden dark arts.
Class Description: A High Warlock is a rare and powerful class, capable of using darkness and flames to attack the opponent directly, curse the enemy indirectly or summon frightful and mighty demons from the realms beyond to drive your enemies before you. You possess power over the realm of souls and death as well, and can create soulstones in which to store the souls of slain opponents for later consumption or use in nefarious rituals.
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Darkbolt 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Conjure Soulstone 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Conflagrate 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Summon Rare Imp 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Curse of Weakness 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Drain life 1
Ping! Due to you being a High-Warlock, your Summoning Magick proficiency has leveled up.
Ping! You have a talent point available, spend now?
Ping! You have a trait point available, spend now?
I squint, focusing intensely so that my consciousness doesn''t fly away due to ping ping overload. Taking a few deep breaths to calm my shaking body, I finally relax and smile lazily up at Dwarf-san. I did it, you know? I''m amazing, you know? I say as I get to my feet feeling better than I''ve ever felt before. Because I have attack spells now. Goddamn attacking spells, yes! High-Warlock was the right choice after all. I doubt necromancer would have that many starting spells, especially direct damage spells like.... Grom what''s wrong? It''s rude to stare at a woman like that, you know? I say. Dwarf-san swallows his saliva and clears his throat. You''re... not lying, are ye? He asks. I shake my head. Foolish mortal. This Alyce would not lower herself to the extent that she would tell untruths. Behold, this is true powah! I yell, taking a chuuni-pose with my hand outstretched, I cast [Darkbolt] and a dark tendrils swirl to my outstretched hand, quickly gathering and forming into a spherical ball before launching itself forward very quickly and striking the hill we just came down, exploding in a puff of darkness. When the shadows bleed away from the impact crater, all I can see is... nothing much really. It''s like the darkness just ate away at the hill, like chomp. I glance over at Dwarf-san, who has frozen. Grom.exe has stopped working. Maybe I should restart him with fire? I cast [Conflagrate] and this time the cast is faster and fire erupts violently from my hand, blasting forward in a sizzling snake-like pattern and burning wildly for a few seconds before receding, leaving a scorched trail in its wake. Ho ho ho. This is fucking cool, awesomely fucking cool. I say, grinning as I turn back to Grom. His face is pale, and he looks at me with wide eyes. You... how is your magic that strong. It should be beginner level... Grom says. I just shrug, but a shiver runs down my spine because I heard an eerie rustling sound coming from the city. Are ye DAFT?! Grom shouts, drawing the blue blade and turning towards Lintball. Hmm, now that I think about it... wouldn''t using magic like I just did attract monsters and perhaps even the attention of boner-kun? Just as I think that, some skeletons come out of the darkness, their boners, I mean bones, rattling. They carry swords, axes, daggers or spears and their average level is about 35. Since Grom is level 79 this should be a piece of cake. Speaking of Grom.
Ping! Do you wish to invite Grom to your party?
Hell yeah, let''s party all night long Grom! I shout, stepping forward and pointing a finger towards the boners, I cast [Conflagrate]. The skeletons at the front disappear in my roaring fire but the ones at the back don''t seem to be affected. Just as my fire disappears, Grom jumps infront of me.
Grom has accepted your invitation and is now in your party, experience points gained are shared between party members.
Yah! Grom shouts, the blue sword flashing. He easily cuts down the remaining skeletons. In the mean time, I call Raven-chan to me and cast [Summon Rare Imp]. A circle of fire spreads from my feet, painting a pentagram below me. I instinctively know what to do, so I point my hand towards another spot near me and another flame pentagram forms, scorching the earth and releasing a smell of sulfur into the air. I pour plenty of mana into the spell because I want to make sure my imp is useful and not some trickster that can''t fight. I have plenty of mana to spare anyway and It''s nice that I can feel my mana reserves precisely. After the summoning spell, I have about 85% percent left and although it isn''t regenerating quickly, 85% is still good. A small imp creature appears in a flash of fire and a burst of the sulfuric smell. It''s body is about 2/3rds my size, but it has wings that are just as big as its body. It has grey skin, jagged horns and a long prehensile tail that looks more like a weapon than a decoration. It turns to me and grins, showing jagged teeth that look like spiked rubies. Fire burns in its eyesockets.
Congratulations. You''ve succcessfully summoned and bound a Rare Imp
The Rare Imp clicks its jaw a few times and bows in my direction, stretching its wings wide. Zan recognizes massterss ssuperior sstrenght. Zan sshall sserve. Welcome to the party Zan. Let''s have some fun, shall we? I ask, a mischievous grin playing across my face. The Imp called Zan responds in kind, displaying jagged spiky ruby teeth in response. Come on lass, to the docks quickly before the lich can organize his troops! Grom yells, taking off and sprinting into the city. I frantically try to follow, but the huge block of meat is moving extremely fast. Grom-san is a frightening creature. He is like a big block of meat, a tank plowing through tiny alleys and crushing rotten wooden crates in his wake. I somehow manage to keep up because he has to occasionally instagib some stray skeletons and zombies. I leap over a pile of bones and clear an alley. A city square with a well in the middle comes into view, and Grom is waiting for me at the well. The mobs around here seem to be pretty low level so far, which is good but... Grom made the Arch-lich out to be a badass, so there''s no way such a badass guy has only weak minions... Organize the troops... Jogging up to Grom, I stop to collect myself. He stares off into the distance and I follow the line of his vision. The road is straight and the width of several caravans. It seems to be the main avenue through which goods traveled once they were unloaded from the ships at the docks since I can see the masts in the distance. This is pretty much a straight path to the docks. The medieval style buildings on either side of the main road look like they could crumble any moment and a dark rotten stench emanates from some of them accompanied by groans and the rattling of bones. But that is not what Grom is staring at. So that''s what you meant by organizing the troops. I remark flatly and Grom lets out a grunt. Rank and file blocks of chalk-white and yellow skeletons and rob zombies dripping with rot, march towards us from the direction of the docks. Not all the units have shields or spears at the front, but some do. These tactics remind me way too much of a Roman Legion... Grom''s constant grumbling and cursing brings me back from my observations just in time to see a hail of arrows heading our way. The fuck is this, some sort of battle?! Aren''t the numbers a bit too unbalanced?! I shout, retreating underneath the overhang of the well alongside Grom. Just as I manage to shift myself under cover, I hear the thunk thunk thunk of many arrows raining down. Most strike the stone pavement with clinks. It''s hypnotizing, which is why I fail to notice it until its too late and there''s a sharp pain in my shoulder. I look over at Grom who is still watching the advancing undead army. Phew, looks like we avoided the worst of it. Grom says, not even looking at me. Now what do we do with those buggers. He continues. We kill them. I say, my voice flat as I step from cover. And then a little lower, I mutter. Well, at least it''s not to the knee. Zan, Raven-chan, do something about those fucking arrows. I command. The cry of a Raven and the cackle of manic laughter I get in response, is all the confirmation I need to know that they understood. Now fingers crossed that Zan can fight, though I get the feeling he is not an ordinary imp. Those ruby teeth and the smell of sulfur around him gets my hopes up and Raven-chan is quite a big bird with glowing red eyes. Go my minions! Make mummy proud! As two dark shapes, my minions, streak past above me, I scan the mobs on the road and find that the army is comprised of mostly level 35-45 skeletons and zombies so it''s not like they are terribly strong, yet there are many of them. Grom steps up beside me just as I pull the arrow out of my shoulder with a wet sucking sound and throw it on the ground. Then I raise both my arms and cast [Conflagrate] and [Darkbolt] at the same time. It seems I can do it, but the required mana doubles for each spell if I cast simultaneously. Still, I have alot of mana and these bastards are a lot higher level than me, so I focus intensely and send out conflagrations and darkbolts continuously in the hope that the destruction they wreak makes up for the extra mana cost. A wave of fire crashes into the leading ranks of the undead. At the same time, streaks of dark power smash skeletons apart with great force, sending their splintered boners flying like shrapnel from a hand grenade and causing collateral damage. Ahahaha, who''s laughing now you bastards? I yell laughing a bit crazily as flames and dark energy continues to flow from my fingertips in a stream of destruction. I stop the magic briefly to catch my magical breath and look over at Grom, who is just standing there gripping his glowing blue sword tightly. Then he nods to me seriously and steps forward. It looks like Dwarf-san wants in on the action and who can blame him? In the sky further up ahead, I can see a flash of dark red and my Imp, Zan, hovering over the enemy. His whole body is burning and he is sending waves of zig-zagging flames sizzling down. It almost looks like magma waterfalls. I can''t see Raven-chan, but my GPS is no doubt also working hard. I mustn''t slack off. Although my mana reserves have dipped to 67% we''ve cleared the front ranks and Grom is advancing on the second wave. He lays in to them with his sword, easily one-shotting them and even sometimes destroying several in one go with sweeping attacks. I furrow my brow and try to support from the back by casting a few carefully aimed darkbolts. This time I aim at a small group of zombies on the edge of the formation. They explode rather grotesquely, covering Dwarf-san with brown and black goo. Oops, the way he is growling and getting more aggressive means he is probably a bit angry with me. Let''s apologize later. After a bit more of Grom''s furious slashing and growling like a berserk animal and a few more spells from me, we''ve cleared a few waves and all of a sudden things go quiet as there are no more enemies before us. Looks like there''s a lull in their attacks. I say. Grom grunts an affirmative, squinting down at the masts in the harbour, some of which seem to be moving... That''s not good, right? Could this be a distraction, I feel like they were way too weak. I say. Aye, that be likely. Looks like the damn Arch-lich is further along that I thought. He sent a few disposables to slow us down. As I thought, its'' primary focus is to make a landing on the shores of the mainland and spread from there. Grom says, swiping a sleeve across his face. Sorry about the smelly black goo, I didn''t think the zombies would explode like that. I say, trying to sound apologetic although it looks kind of funny. It be alright lass. Still, just what the hell are ye... Grom says, looking at me once, shaking his head and then staring ahead. It looks like he has decided to ignore my abnormalities. That''s a good thing, right? More and more of the ships seem to be moving, if we don''t hurry... Grom glances back at me. We seem to have come to the same conclusion and so begins another frantic dash. Dwarf-san can run ridiculously fast, what the hell is up with his speed? As I dash after him down the crumbling main street, the stars twinkle above and the moon is reflected in the waters surface before me as several large ships sail for the horizon, no doubt loaded with abominable undead creatures waiting to feast on the living. I''m undead too though, but I don''t feast on the living only the dead, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, as I try to catch up to Dwarf-san, I command Zan and Raven-chan to scout ahead and see if they can find a suitable vessel for us to commandeer. After all, there''s no way we can sail a huge ship with just the four of us... as romantic as that would be. Besides, I have no idea how those things work anyway. I can''t suddenly sail Queen Ann''s revenge better than Blackbeard, or fly the millenium falcon better than Hans yolo. Ah but still, one day I want to own a huge dominating black galleon and aim to become the Queen of Pirates or something. Sounds cool, right? Awesome, right? My fantastical machinations come to an abrupt halt as I arrive at the docks to find the majority of the ships already sailing off and the remaining ships ablaze, the fires mocking my dreams of piracy. Incidentally, I definitely did not pirate many eroge''s in my last life, okay? Goddamn it! Son of a bitch. Blasted piece of monsterdung, stupid ass pile of bones. Gaaah. Grom yells. Zan sweeps down to land right infront of us, which makes Grom jump and draw his blade. You little! He shouts. Zan ignores Grom and looks over at me, clacking his jaw and showing his jagged ruby teeth and forked tongue. Massster, to your left off the pier near the lighthouse, there is a sssuitable vessssel. Your fleshling servant can row it for you. Zan says and his words are echoed by the cry of Raven-chan, who sweeps down and sits beside Zan. Ohoho, what''s this, you two getting along? I say. Zan shrugs. Bird isss not bad. Ssstrong, fasst, sssmart. I''m proud of you Raven-chan! I shout. Come on Grom, let''s go. I say, pointing to where Zan said that my mighty vessel awaits. I am not a blasted fleshling servant, what in the fucking goddamm hells is this shit. Grom grumbles, continuously flinging out expletives under his breath as he follows me off the dock and unto a jagged outcropping of rock where a small squat lighthouse looms unmenacingly. I look to Zan and raise my eyebrows. Sstairs inssside. Lead down to alcove. Masster vessel is there. Zan responds. I give him a nod and motion for Grom to come with me. The dwarf gives Zan another dubious look, but in the end he lets out a sigh and follows me to the lighthouse. Just as we enter the lighthouse, I remember something and wave Zan closer, whispering an order in his ear. He bows and takes off towards the burning city and I lick my lips in anticipation of the potential boners coming my way. A girl''s gotta eat, you know? It''ll be delicious, you know? It''s definitely not weird that I''m contemplating cooking up some boner broth in the near future, okay? Goddamn it! Chapter 7 – Sand is coarse and rough and it gets everywhere. The waves lap at the boat, but I''m only vaguely aware of the lulling motions since I slept pretty much ever since we left the island. Apparently I suddenly fell down unconscious when we were at the boat and only woke up now. As for why I lost consciousness...
Ping! Your party has killed 47 skeletons and 33 zombies!
Ping! Congratulations, you''ve leveled up x7 (experience deducted due to your higher leveled party member
Ping! Due to your summoned familiars fighting and killing a lot, your summoning magick proficiency and minion summoning skills have leveled up.
Ping! Conflagrate has leveled up
Ping! Darkbolt has leveled up
Ping! Due to continuous dual casting, your mana manipulation has leveled up
Oh... gosh darnit, I forgot I had curse of weakness! Was my last thought before ping ping overload stole my consciousness again. I really wish system-chan would go easy on me... my brain will really turn to mush, you know? Anyways... so it came to pass that I woke up just now, the morning rays of red breaking apart the dark of night on the horizon as a sandy beach comes into sight up ahead. My teleportation technique is excellent as always, ufufu. The most beautiful and poetic thing, that which truly completes the scenic idyll of the image, is of course the sweaty, grumbling huge dwarf churning the paddles on my small, yet mighty and magnificent vessel to propel us forward that last little bit until we reach the shore and I can make landfall. You shouldn''t badmouth my mighty rowboat, you know? I''ll cut your nipples off and eat them as ice-cream topping, okay? Goddamn it! It''s good that we''ve arrived unmolested. I say, placing my hand on dwarf-san''s rising and falling shoulders as he breathes heavily. Well, relatively unmolested. You''re only a little short of breath. With a quick break you should be fine, right Grom? I say, slapping his still heaving and soaked with sweat shoulders smack smack a couple of times before disembarking with true princess-like elegance. Which means I almost stumble and fall as I disembark, and one of my feet gets sucked into the wet sand in the shallows and sticks there. When I pull my leg up, the beach eats my shoe, pulling it off my foot like a pervert. Sand-chan is naughty. Ahen. I very elegantly retrieve my shoe by bending down and grappling with wet sand-chan. Of course it''s my 100 percent clean victory. It is not until after I''ve re-equipped my slightly sandy shoe and walked 5 steps up the beach that it occurs to me to turn back and check on Grom. Still sitting in the boat, he vibrates, his face red and his brow furrowed. Could it be that he played with my body while I was out and got triggered by my use of the word molest? That''s rather unlikely. After all, I still smell like death and zombie ass so who would want to explore the contours of my body. Ah, but my body doesn''t really have that many contours. Hmm. No that''s not it. Grom doesn''t seem like the type, so something else is wrong with him. I let fly an internal hnng as I activate the Alyce-chan sherloli holmes mode and deduce. Could it be you need to take a dump!? I shout, the revelation of dwarf-san''s innard struggles elicit within me the deepest of sympathies. Still, Grom remains unmoving, simply sitting there and vibrating with a berry-red face, unable to confirm it for himself. He must be suffering from a truly horrific bout of diarrhea if he cannot even utter a single word lest he risk a rectal explosion. Let''s help him out. Let it gooo, let it goooo, don''t hold it back any moooore. I start singing and making a little dance on the beach. I DO NOT NEED TO SHIT! Grom shouts, jumping from the boat in an arm-flailing rage. Unfortunately the boat wobbles, making him fall face first into the sand right near the hole where my shoe had disappeared. He lays there shaking for some time, truly a model method actor were his objective to become a vibrator of some kind. I do not need such a hairy vibrator though, no thanks. Grom slowly struggles to his knees, his beard wet and filled with grains of sand. His body convulses once more and he lets out a strangled sound and a loud sigh before standing up and slogging up the beach towards me. Cocking my head to the side, I ask There are dark circles under your eyes Grom. Was the constipation really so bad that you couldn''t sleep? Grom throws his arms in the air. I couldn''t sleep because I had to row the boat to shore ye daft little bint! Stupid smelly piece of.... aaaghh! Grom shouts, taking a few deep breaths, his hands clenched. Go on, let it all out. I can go behind the bushes over there to get you some private time. Do what must be done, dwarf-san. Do not hesitate, show no mercy. Excise the vile shit from your bowels! I end with a guts pose and nod encouragingly in his direction. Take my energy dwarf-san and emerge victorious in the battle of the bum. Oh for fucks sake! Grom yells, taking another step towards me and pointing down at me with a fat hairy sausage finger. Now ye listen here ye little bag o'' goblin nipples He says, tapping my chest once with his finger and pushing me back a little. Ah, chest-chan, how flat you are. How magnificently lolitastic. I resist the urge to start groping myself in front of Dwarf-san to ascertain the freshness of my goods. That''s good right, I''m learning, right? I''m definitely not going insane, okay? Goddamn it! First of all. I rowed us all the way here, hours and hours of laboring, avoiding the fucking undead ships and shit while ye just slept comfortably back there! I opened my mouth to respond, but Grom went on. That''s not the worst of it Alyce! You little maggot eating pale faced cunterblasted flob-koochie of a doll! You smelled like me grandmothers arse ye did. All the way here I had to resist the urge to dip ye in the ocean for a wash, but ye know what? I didn''t do it. I thought I''d let ye sleep, seeing as ye used a bunch of magic and fainted on me. Kind me! Being considerate and all, yet what do I get in return!? A little gratefulness would be good right about now, but oh no instead ye have the temerity to go on about m-- Okay, okay I''m sorry! I shout, interrupting Grom and quickly waving my hands in the air. Now that I''ve stopped the machine-gun mouth of dwarf-san, I bow my head. I can feel my cheeks growing a bit warm. I''m definitely not blushing because of shame, because I''m not an idiot, you know? Definitely not, okay?! Goddamn it! Besides, corpses can''t blush so there''s no way it''s a blush. You hear me?! Thank you. I mumble so quietly even I have trouble hearing it. What''s that ye said there lass? Grom asks, putting a hand to his hear. I said thank you, okay!? I say, stomping a foot into the sand, which promptly eats my shoe again. Dismayed, I observe my buried foot for a moment before deciding that I do not want to retrieve my shoe right now. I pull my foot free and turn my back on Grom, my face still hot. I''ll go dip myself in the ocean so you don''t have to endure my horrific smell any longer. I tell Grom. I hear no reply, not a squeak, and I am kind of nervous to check on Grom. I can just imagine him snarling at me, his cursing almost turned me on just now and even back during the Lintball expedition. That''s no good, right? Let''s quickly jump in the water and cool off. I carefully wade out into the shallows before letting myself fall like a toppling tree. With arms outstretched in the glorious loli-jesus T-pose, I splash face-first into the ocean. It''s surprisingly lukewarm when I thought it''d be freezing, but my body temperature is low so perhaps that has an effect on my senses. In any case, I make sure to diligently stroke my clothes and rustle my jimmies, to try and get the stench of rotting corpse out of my toggery. Well, the garments I liberated from a dead child... Let''s not think about that too much, it''s kind of depressing. Especially since I ate them. Which reminds me! Quickly I dive under the water one last time and turn myself around a few times in the ocean-chan laundromat, suddenly very eager to get the cleaning over with. I hurry back to the sandy shore still dripping wet and missing a shoe by the way. I look up to find Grom lying on the beach, his chest rising and falling steadily. Ah, I guess it''s good he''s taking a nap, maybe it will calm him down. He worked hard too, so I should thank him properly when he wakes up. Until then I suppose I will guard him since it''s the least I can do. Maybe he trusts me a little bit since he went to sleep right there on the beach, or maybe he just has balls of steel. Maybe both? When I get a little closer I spot my shoe lying on his stomach near his beard. It seems he kindly excavated it for me. I really must show my appreciation for him later. Anyway, my shoe has sand in it and I frown. The time has come. Slowly, I get in position and wait for my go. Then I go, taking my sandy shoe and holding it between my hands like I''m in a Hamlet play. I stare at my shoe intensely and say. I don''t like sand. It''s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. All I get in response is Grom''s snoring and the waves of the ocean gently crashing against the shore with a gentle woosh. His reaction to the greatest line ever written in modern cinematography is disappointing to say the least, but oh well. No wonder he fell asleep, that oceanic sound is like honey to the ears, slowly lulling you into a trance like whoosh whoosh. I don''t have time to be lulled into a trance right now though. I have stuff to do, you know? They say that there will be time to sleep when I''m dead, but I''m already dead. I don''t feel like sleeping my death away. Besides, it''s not even after dark and disneyland isn''t closed either. In any case, I distance myself from Grom because I don''t want to wake him up. Then I summon Zan and call out to Raven-chan at the same time. It seems Raven-chan went her own way while I was sleeping, since she''s currently flying over an unrecognizable land. Good job, my GPS! Bring me the data for free! No paying exorbitant sums of money just for a small GPS update, I get it for free because my Raven-chan GPS is the best around, nothing''s gonna ever keep it down! Zan appears in the firey summoning circle with a flash of heat and a burst of sulfuric smells, bowing to me and holding out a non-descript brown bag that rattles enticingly. My mouth starts watering and I smile at Zan. You''ve done well, my minion. I tell him, walking forward to pat Zan on his head. His head comes up to my chest, so he isn''t that small for an imp and with his wings out he''s quite big and scary. With my small hand I gently caress the rough, rocky grey surface of his bald head. Then I take one of his jagged, deformed ears between my thumb and index finger and nugi-nugi nugi-nugi it until Zan starts squirming and making weird demonic growling noises.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. Since there''s movement behind his loincloth, as if a great snake has awoken from its slumber, I hurriedly stop the nugi-nugi and take a step back from Zan hoping snake-kun will go back to sleep. Go back to sleep! Zan stares at me with a dazed look in his menacing burning sockets and I don''t know how that''s possible, but it just is. I quickly snatch the brown bag of boners from Zan and dismiss him after peering inside the bag to confirm its contents. Free reign, go have fun somewhere Zan, you deserve it for completing this task so magnificently. Missstress is the besst. Zan will make sure to enjoy himself. Zan says before bowing and flying away like a spear, leaving me alone on the beach with my treasure. I haven''t checked my stats yet and I won''t, not until I''ve had a nice meal. I recall Raven-chan and try to summon another Raven-chan since the skill leveled up. [Summon Raven Familiar] is cast, and the air distorts in front of me, another Raven popping out of the small, wormhole-like distortion with a pop and a snap. All I need now is a confetti shower and a gay guy with a french moustache and I can become a great lolician. This raven-chan looks just as mean and lean as my beloved GPS machine, but I can tell the difference in the shape of its beak and the fact that its eyes are yellow and not red. It''s also smaller. Perhaps this is a consequence of the fact that I''ve summoned several raven familiars, so the subsequent summons will be weaker? In that case... [Summon Raven Familiar] [Summon Raven Familiar] [Summon Raven Familiar] I cast it a bunch more times, but only one additional raven-chan appears and it has the same yellow eyes and smaller stature as the first additional summons I brought forth. Ah, good, it''s not like one of those russian dolls where a smaller one will appear each time. I guess I have to level the skill up some more to get more summons, but with this, I''ve learned that my Original Raven-chan GPS is the best after all. Calling someone an original used to be an insult in my old world, but honestly, when it comes to the Raven-chan squad, being called the original is high praise, for the original is definitely the best. Mhmm. I should probably name her something cool, but I will do that later, because drool runs from the corner of my mouth. I guess some things never change. Oh well, even the best of us are subject to the bestial urges of our primal natures, right? There''s nothing wrong with craving boner-kun soup, okay? Goddamn it! I drop the bag of bones to the ground and cross my arms. Now, how should I go about making boner broth? I do not have a big witch cauldron, but I have magic! First I send my two yellow-eyed ravens out to scout the area for a source of water. Even here on the beach, my vision is blocked by a wall of forest. Fantasy-world-chan is filled with mysterious nature, as expected. Next, I try to feel my own Mana. I have magic and I am blessed by the gods and I am a loli. There''s no way I can''t make this work! Even though it''s daylight and all my stats are halved, I still have plenty of juice left in my tank, so I''m not too worried. That fucking God of Light or whatever he is can just go crawl up his own ass. I will still dominate this world even with halved stats, dummy! I just gotta level up a bit more, that''s all... First order of business is to move an object with magic, in other words, telekinesis. There''s no way I can''t do it since I am an awesome corpse loli, so I sit down and start meditating on the beach, focusing on my mana flow and the surrounding area. The sound of the waves is excellent and very conducive to a meditayshun state of mind. I try spreading tendrils of my mana to the surroundings and I think I can sort of feel whatever my tendrils touch. Before I can have too many flashbacks to tentacle rape hentai, system-chan attacks me with a ping.
Ping! Congratulations, you''ve learned Mana Sense, the basic skill required for mage classes. Job: Apprentice Mage and Apprentice Witch are now available.
Yosh, Josh. I say, nodding in satisfaction. Step one complete, step two here I come! Once more, I close my eyes and activate Mana sense, focusing exclusively on the sand and trying to pick out individual grains. At first it''s tough, but after enduring some trying times of heavy forehead furrowing and intense buttock clenching focus, I finally manage to grasp the presence of the individual grains of sand. Puhah, I exhale, swiping a hand across my forehead. It''s not sweaty or anything. A sweating corpse would be a bit strange, you know? But I feel like the gesture helps accentuate that I worked hard. The position of the sun above also indicates that some time has flown by without me really noticing its passage. Seilf emit so you must carpe diem. Carpet diamond! Fufufu. Ahen. Let''s not get distracted, alright?!
Ping! Due to an innovative training method, you''ve managed to level up Mana sense to level 2
I shrug my shoulders. Mana sense is nice and will definitely be useful in the future, but I already have a bunch of level 2 and 3 skills so it''s no big deal. This is just the preparatory stage after all. Although make no mistake, I am glad to get the upgrade. It is another step towards my world domination after all, fufufu. Before moving on to the next step, I briefly check on my Raven squad. It seems that a river of adequate size is quite close to my current location. My lean, mean GPS machine has also found a settlement perhaps a few hours walk from here and it seems to be fairly big and well stocked with ingredients for food. And by ingredients for food, I don''t mean humans, you know? I am not a beast, okay? Goddamn it! My Raven-chan GPS saw a few carts on the road accompanied by guards, and the town center was filled with stands and yelling merchants. I ask her to bring a bucket back from the town so I can get some water from the river, then I close my eyes and prepare for the penultimate step in my master plan. Once more, I use mana sense to focus and pick out an individual grain of sand. Then I will it to move with my mind. Nothing happens, but that is to be expected. I carefully coat the grain of sand in a thin film of my mana, and although it''s a bit tough, my control over mana seems to be decent. I succeed after about half an hour of trying. Quickly, I manipulate my mana and lift the grain of sand within my cocoon of mana. It moves and I grin. But still, my concentration does not slip. This is just the beginning! I wrap mana around ten more grains and try to lift them at the same time. Piece of cake! Uber success! Next step is one hundred. Easy. Next step, one thousand. Also easy. But it takes some time to wrap my mana around the individual grains. The lifting part is easy and doesn''t seem to be overly affected by the number of items, but the mana coating required for it takes some time to apply because we''re talking 1000 individual grains of sand here. Still, I get faster and faster with practice and can now wrap over 50 grains of sand at the same time. After I''ve confirmed I can easily lift and manipulate a thousand grains of sand, I let it all go and retract my mana, feeling a rushing sensation throughout my body and a shiver down my spine that feels very pleasant.
Ping! Congratulations, you''ve learned telekinesis, the ability to manipulate external objects by using your own mana. This is a high level skill that only advanced magic-users know after years of training, and yet you''ve acquired it before even reaching level 100, much less the usual level 150. +10 int +10 wis +10 spirit
Ping! Due to acquiring an advanced magical skill, your Apprentice Witch job qualification has been upgraded to Witch job qualification.
YES! I am the greatest! I shout, jumping to my feet. The sand in my shoes is but a minor annoyance now. Then I remember that Grom is sleeping and look over. Good, it seems he hasn''t woken up yet. Still, I finally got a normal sounding job! You can apparently choose a second combat job once you hit level 20, but for a third one you need to hit level 100, it''s a big gap. High level is not just for show in this world, even though I am a bit of a cheat. With this, I should check my stats and the level-ups I got from the Lintball expedition. My level should''ve exceeded 20, meaning I can become a Witch! Yay, yay. Before I open my status, I allocate the attribute points I gained from leveling up seven times. Unfortunately I still don''t know how to allocate my trait and talent points, as I don''t seem to have access to a talent tree and trait tree yet. I don''t really know how that stuff functions in this world, so I am holding off on it till later. Still, I gained an additional trait and talent point after reaching level 20, so I am excited to spend them. I will ask Grom later. For now, I put 38 points into wisdom, and 37 points into intelligence. Status!
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Monster Rank: F++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 24
Character Status
Health: 2996 Mana: 17757 Stamina: 1838 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 42 Intelligence: 508 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: None
Dexterity: 26 Wisdom: 125 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 270 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 25% Air: 10%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception. Current radius: 64 Meters (100 max).
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 2 (Active) Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX (Active) Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Sense 2 (Active) The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 4 (Active) The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 1 (Active) An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Death Energy Manipulation 3 (Active) The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 2 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 2 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Darkbolt 2(Active) Gather a mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Conflagrate 2(Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Death Energy Absorption 2 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 1(Active) Curse your enemy, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 1(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock, since death is also your domain.
Ah sweet, system-chan upgraded me to an F rank monster. Now I am no longer a G rank noob. I also passed level 20, which according to Grom, is an entry level barrier for novice adventurers as well so that''s good. Still, my stat gains from leveling up are as crazy as ever, since I get 15 constitution and 11 attribute points per level now after getting the two racial buffs and being upgraded to mythic monster status. My mana and health is pretty high. Even if they get halved by the curse, they will still be nice and high. I did consider spending some points on strength, but I''m going for a magic build and figure I should go for some wisdom to make sure I up it a bit. My intelligence is pretty far ahead of the other stats. Perhaps in the future I will spend some more stats on strength, though If I can level telekinesis to the point where I can just use my mind and mana to move stuff I won''t need it. I guess I will think about it later, after I figure out what''s up with trait and talent points. One nice thing I''ve discovered is that it seems I can relegate system-chan messages for later when I kill stuff. That way I don''t have to endure constant pings when fighting, but I guess I risk system-chan overload later down the road. It''s a small price to pay though and If I anticipate it, I should be able to avoid the adverse affects of postponing the pings and remain conscious through it, I think. The sun is already high in the sky, so a considerable amount of time has already passed. Raven-chan has returned with a bucket and I''ve acquired the necessary skills to make a cauldron in which to conCOCKt my boner-kun broth. I guess I should also try to find something for Grom when he wakes up, since I doubt he wants to eat skeleton monster bone broth for breakfast. Chapter 8 – Im not a single mother, but I worked hard to put food on my family, okay? Goddamn it! As I dash through the greenery of the forest to get to the nearby river and fill bucket-kun with water, I ruminate over the fact that I have only one set of clothes and they were looted from a dead girl, soaked in rancid old blood and splattered with zombie brains and pelted by skeletal fragments. When I reach the river and fill bucket-kun to the brim with kira kira sparkling shining fresh water, I''ve already made it an objective of mine to obtain a proper wardrobe, or at the very least, a change of clothes. I dash back to the beach where Grom is still snoring away to the tune of the gentle ocean waves. Now is the hard part, so I take a few deep breaths and focus my mind before using [Mana Sense] and [Telekinesis] to mold the sand into a large bowl shape and fix it in place. Then I cast [Conflagrate] on my sand bowl construction. When conflagrate is about to run out, I recast it. It seems the temperature is a bit too low right now, so I focus and will more mana into my next conflagrate. It seems to work, making my flames blast hotter and hotter. Soon enough the grains of sand start hardening into glass. Not pure and translucent glass, but something more along the lines of fulgurite, rough and rocky. Still, it will do. I step back and admire my handiwork. Gordon Ramsay would definitely ask me what the fuck I was doing, but I don''t care and pour the bucket of water into my makeshift cauldron as I fufufu in self-satisfaction. Next I pour the bones into the water along with some rotten brown lumps of flesh. It should be repulsive, but it looks appetizing to me. I reach inside the water and crush the boners with my hands. Once I''ve crunch-crunched all the bones into small bits, I nod to myself, turning to Raven-chan and her two lieutenants. Raven-chan, take your squad and hunt something to eat for Grom. A rabbit or two, maybe a deer or something, I don''t really know what''s delicious around here. Capiche? Comprende? Raven-chan cocks her head and I sigh. Do you understand your orders? I say, giving up. Raven-chan squawks and dips her beak once. Good good, go now before Grom wakes up. Turning back to my improvised fulgurite bowl, I reach into the brown bone soup and cast conflagrate continuously. The bowl-shape of my impromptu cooking implement reflects the fire into the air, making a huge pillar of fire as tall as the nearby trees. My mana is being depleted steadily, but it''s not a problem. I still have 83% left and I''ve been cooking it for awhile now with my innovative pillar of fire flamb technique. I''m not sure I''m doing it right, but stuff is happening and bubbling away and the fire is flaring up quite a bit so I keep doing the boner broth flamb with a smile. Peace fills my heart as I stand at the beach casually staring out at the ocean next to the pillar of fire. Life is good. Cooking with Alyce-chan 101. Dead corpse, check. Dirty homemade cauldron, check. Pillar of fire secret technique? check. What could possibly go wrong? There''s no doubt that I will make the best tasting boner soup ever with my innovative pillar of fire cooking technique, okay? Goddamn it! Before I notice it, Raven-chan and her two liutenants have already made a triumphant return. Raven-chan drops a small deer in the sand next to me with a cry of success and her liutenants deposit two mostly whole rabbits, or so I think until I try to pick one of them up and its head comes off. Oh well, I guess I can add it to my soup. In fact, isn''t that a great idea? Could this be the secret ingredient that will get me a michellin star?! I sneak over to Grom and liberate the glowing blue sword from him, then I promptly proceed to decapitate the other rabbit and the deer and add their heads to my soup. Fufufu, this is definitely gonna be the greatest stew ever. Wait, when did it become a stew? Isn''t it boner broth? Ah, I don''t know. Let''s call it the Alyce-chan special concoction and forget about the ingredients. It smells nicely of death and corpse, so it''s making my mouth water and a bit of drool is drip dripping onto the ground, but I am ignoring it because I am a fine and elegant lady, and a cultured women such as myself definitely does not drool like that, you know? Definitely not, okay? Goddamn it! Still, I can''t stand around here drooling all day since I gotta prepare Grom''s rabbits and deer. I''m not exactly the greatest cook, but after some time I manage to hack some respectable looking chunks of meat off the deer''s flank. I go to the forest and chop away at some wood, make a firepit and spit the two rabbits over the fire like a pro. For the slightly jagged cuts of deer, I warm up a rock and fling the meat on there. If Grom thinks it''s unhygenic he can just go make his own chunks of meat, hmpf. With everything sizzling away, I keep my Alyce-chan special concoction boiling with the occasional blast of [Conflagrate]
Ping! Through continuous use of fire, you have gained Fire Manipulation 1 and taken your first step on the path of mastering the element of fire.
Ping! Conflagrate has leveled up
Ping! Acquiring the fire manipulation skill has unlocked a Witch job specialization: Fire Witch.
Fufufu, cooking is the best after all, with it I can even level up my skills! Maybe I will become a famous gourmet in this world? What a lovely ideal. I even received a new job specialization of fire witch, sounds cool! Although I don''t get why the cook class hasn''t been unlocked yet, how strange. I hope a sour Gordon Ramsey copy won''t appear and start cussing at me... well, actually, I might like that. I think it would be more nightmarish if a Gordon Ramsay clone appeared and suddenly started talking nice, and instead of saying fuck he said duck, and instead of saying goddamn it he said gosh darn it and dang nabbit. That''d count as traumatizing content, right? Alyce-chan is right about that, you know? Immersed in my cooking, the sizzling meat and the boiling Alyce-chan special, I fail to notice the exact moment when Grom wakes up. I only know that one moment I am laughing to myself and conflagrating my soup whilst managing the sizzling cuts of deer and the spitted rabbits like a master chef and the next moment a groggy Grom stands before me, trying to get sand out of his beard and muttering to himself under his breath. Everything is as usual then, good good. He''s definitely not eyeing me oddly, okay? Goddamn it! Grom simply stares at my boner-kun soup with a shudder, not saying a word. I stopped using my state of the art pillar of fire cooking technique as soon as I saw Grom, but I knew the jig was up and that the cat was out of the bag. I gain my feet, straighten my back and walk over to stand in front of Grom with arms akimbo. Facing him, I furrow my brow and affect my most serious expression, complete with eye-twitchy twitch and thin hard line mouth. You definitely won''t tell anyone about my super secret, awesome cooking technique, right? Riiiiiight? I say, cocking my head and staring up at Grom, hopefully impressing upon him the seriousness of keeping the pillar of fire technique a secret with my striking Alyce-chan Akimbo stance. Grom''s expression is neutral. He slowly shakes his head. Good good, now please take a seat. I say, indicating that Grom should plop himself down somewhere in my vicinity. I notice his eyes drifting from my Alyce-chan special to the sizzling cuts of deer meat and the rabbit spits, but he obediently rests his laurels before me as a proper servant should. Good good. My hairy meat slave is obsequious today as well, fufufu. Then again, how could he not be? It''s a given that you will obey the overloli, right? I''m right, you know. I clap loudly to get his attention and his eyes focus on me. Today, we will be learning how to cook! Are you ready everyone?! I shout and look around. Grom''s perfect poker expression stares me in the face. I cough into my hand. We-well, so first what you do is take a glowing blue sho-ho-shword and you hwack away at the animals that you ordered your Raven-chan squad to capture. I explain, looking over to Grom to see if he is following along. With blank, empty eyes he nods once. Excellent! So after that you should have some nice pieces of meat. Of course, you set aside the heads for the Alyce-chan special, but the rest of the body is fair game! Like this, like this! I say, miming myself cutting off the rabbit heads and hacking away at the deer with extreme elegance and throwing the decapitated heads into my makeshift fulgurite cauldron with skill such as only the most adroit of baseball pitchers exhibit whilst handling his balls. And no! That''s not an innuendo, okay? Goddamn it!Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! It must be my imagination that Grom shudders at my cooking demonstration. Surely my eyes are playing a trick on me, since there''s no way that Grom would shudder, right? Yeah, no way. Haha... Now, I know what you may be thinking. Alyce-chan, won''t it take a long time for me to cook my own delicious food with expert skill, just like you have?! I say, cocking my head to the side and waiting for Grom. He nods and I clap my hands together again. Aha! But while you weren''t looking, I prepared these already. No need to wait, be grateful dog. Fufuf---aaah no, I mean, please enjoy the meal. I say, and bow deeply. Silence greets me but I stubbornly stay bowed, forcing my upper body in horizontal alignment with the beach. Finally, I hear a thump thump as Grom claps his meaty fists together with a dull sound. I look up with a grin to find him staring at me blankly like all life has left him. He claps a few more times before his arms drop limply to his side. He looks like a soulless doll, but it''s really not my fault, you know? I''m acting perfectly normal! That was it for the Alyce-chan cooking course. For now, please enjoy your meal. I must taste-test the special concoction so excuse me. I say, gesturing to the meat before turning my back on Grom and walking over to my sand-glass cauldron and the boner-kun broth within. I look into the fulgurite bowl to find that my boner-kun broth and animal head special has somehow congealed into weird, indescribable greyish-brown jelly goo. Most of the water has evaporated, but there is a little left. This leaves me in a conundrum, as I do not have a utensil with which to guide the goo to my quivering, puckered lips for easy suctioning down. But I guess I do have an abnormally long ghoul tongue that I haven''t tested out yet. I look over at Grom, who has begun examining my expertly cooked meat and perfectly spitroased rabbits with some slight trepidation. He has a dubious expression on his face, but I shrug and leave him to it, burying my head in the fulgurite bowl which should effectively obscure my visage from view. Next, I extend my long, prehensile tongue and use it to lick at the goop in the bowl. As soon as my tongue touches the goop, my mouth starts watering and I desperately lick and slurp the goop. What a nostalgic feeling. Although it has only been a short while since the Lintball expedition, it still feels nostalgic, okay? Goddamn it! I may have made a few weird sounds during the slurpy goop consumption process, but it shouldn''t be anything too extreme, you know? Still, when I raise my head from the bowl, I find Grom staring at me with wide eyes. What? I ask, puffiing my cheeks and pouting. He simply shakes his head and takes a bite of the meat I prepared.
Ping! You''ve eaten a skeleton minion lvl 31. +1 str +1 dex +1 cons
Hmpf, well it''s better than nothing, but still, what a pathetic yield. Perhaps this is normal though. My perspective might be a bit skewed and I guess I shouldn''t really count on being handed extreme stat boosts left and right without leveling up, which reminds me that I have a slot open for a secondary jobclass. It seems like this little Alyce-chan is progressing quite nicely, you know? Ohoho. When I think about the fact that the Witch class has been upgraded from apprentice witch, and that I have Fire witch specialization available, the choice is kind of obvious. Besides, Fire Witch sounds cool and should be useful since my fire affinity is pretty high. Although my death affinity for necromancer is 100% it doesn''t count because it was a god given cheat, okay? Goddamn it! The fire Witch class might work well when I have to blend in with people, since I think it would be wise to hide my death and darkness affinities. I might be a bit of an airhead sometimes, but even I know that I shouldn''t go around saying to people ''hey guys, I''m a ghoul high warlock necromancer, but I''m friendly. Oi, why are you running away from me? Don''t call the guards!'' With that in mind, I do the logical thing and sit down in my ultra super lotus meditation pose and make a hnnng sound. Grom ignores me, eating my delicious homecooking in silence. With furrowed brow and a powerful hnng, I will myself to accept the Witch class and the fire specialization too, hoping that system-chan will hear my plea and cut me some slack. I don''t know how this stuff works, okay? System-chan please help!
Ping! Congratulations, you''ve become a Fire Witch, able to bend the element of fire to your will. Since you''ve never been an Apprentice Witch of any coven, you have gained the appropriate qualifications necessary to create your own Witch Coven.
Class Description: A Witch focuses on indirect magic, enchantments, enhancements, crowd control spells and trickery. Whereas the mage class is straightfoward in their attacks and defense, the witch class is crafty and tricky to deal with. They attack like vipers and defend like monkey-turtles. They buff their party and debuff their enemies and are in general a good choice for any party to bring, because although they possess less direct firepower than a mage, they bring group buffs and crowd control and can hold their own in straight confrontations aswell.
Coven: Covenless. You are currently covenless, and since you advanced to the rank of Witch outside of any known covens, you cannot join a coven but must make your own.
Coven Description: A Coven is like a class specific guild and allows for sharing of spells and class insights. It also grants privileges to its members aswell as to the head of the Coven. The Coven leader may set tasks for her Coven members to complete. She functions like a guildmaster. Coven Membership is very beneficial, and as the Coven grows in power, so too do the witches that are members of said coven. The higher the level of the coven, the more special powers are unlocked.
Ping!You''ve learned a new spell: Fireball 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Blazing Barrier 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Blast Wave 1
Ping! You''ve learned a new spell: Fire wall 1
Ping You''ve learned a new spell: Fire Enchantment 1
Ping! Due to your mastery of summoning magick, you''ve learned a new spell: Summon Fire elemental 1
Ping! Due to you being a Fire Witch, your Fire Manipulation skill has leveled up.
Ping! Due to you being a Fire Witch, your profinity with Fire has increased by 10%
Ping! You have 2 talent points available, spend now?
Ping! You have 2 trait points available, spend now?
I get very dizzy from the relentless system-chan ping ping assault, but somehow through the onslaught, I manage to retain my consciousness. Wahahaha! Brilliantly goodly great! I exclaim, unfolding my legs and feet from the lotus pose and standing, a huge grin plastered across my face. Grom looks over at me and I notice that he seems to have finished eating. With this, have you forgiven me yet? I ask, tilting my head at Grom. He stares at me a moment before sighing and nodding. Aye lass. In truth, I was just tired. Been a long couple days fer me ye see, what with me family stabbin'' me in the back and that lickspittle o'' an archlich trying te take over the world. I nod my head and try to affect an understanding expression, although I don''t really get it. I see, I see. Anyway I just got my second class, so I should''ve gotten a bit stronger. I have quite a few spells now. I wonder if I will have time to cast them all. I muse to myself. I guess I have to pick my favorites. Grom looks over at me. You''re as absurd as always. Only you can say that. Normally, spells and skills are few and far between and ye have te level up and master your class te get more. How many spells do ye have now then lassy? Grom asks, also standing up and retrieving his glowing blue sword from where I discarded it after using it to gently relieve my ingredients of their heads. I cock my head to the side and check my spells. I''ve got 14 spells, though not all of them are super useful. I say and Groms eyes widen. What the fuck kind of class gives that many spells. I thought that was normal. I got High Warlock and Fire Witch as my classes. I say, turning towards the forest. WHAT? Grom shouts and I jump, looking back at him. Jeez, don''t shout like that Grom. A little bit of pee almost came out! Although I''m an undead so that doesnt happen to me, but still! Be considerate of my phantom bladder! Lass, you better keep that te yerself. Also, with a level below 100, you got the Witch class, not to mention a specialization which usually only appears around level 150 so let alone telling someone ye be undead, ye can''t reveal yer classes casually. Furthermore, that High Warlock class... I''ve never heard of such a thing before, but I know warlock only becomes available if ye be a mage of atleast level 200 and have unlocked certain achievements. Grom says. Well, isn''t that good then? It''ll be easier for me to defeat boner-kun if I have powerful classes and lots of skills, right? I ask. Aye, but ye shouldnae underestimate an arch-lich lass. They be high leveled monsters of at least rare quality, and depending on the amount of souls they''ve enslaved in ziggurats, they could become nearly undefeatable. Sides, it''s not just the Arch-lich ye be fighting, but its armies too. Grom says, his expression serious. Which reminds me lass, we gotta get te town te warn people, set the defense in motion. The lich-bastard should already be on the mainland, which means time is short. Grom says. He sounds worried, so I nod seriously even though I don''t really get it. There''s a town close by. We have to walk through the forest for a bit before we get there but it shouldn''t take long. We can head to the river and follow it upstream until we hit the road, then go from there. I say. I see. But how do ye know that. Grom asks, preparing to leave by tidying himself up a bit and dusting off his beard, trying to extricate the last of the sandgrains from it as he straps the blue sword to his hip. I sent my Ravens out to scout. I say, also gathering myself and preparing to leave. I step up beside Grom and we walk up the beach towards the edge of the forest. Ravens ye say? Not just the one? My skills leveled up and I became able to summon another two, although those are smaller and have yellow eyes instead of red eyes. My original Raven-chan is the best for sure, but the Raven-chan lieutenants are good as well. Soon I''ll have an army of birds, wahaha! I say, laughing theatrically, one hand covering my mouth. Although I''m having a glorious moment, I forget I''m walking on sand and trip over my feet. Groms hand shoots out and catches me before I can faceplant in the sand. I look over, my face red. I cough into my hand a few times and thank Grom and we proceed into the forest. Chapter 9 – My Gate cant be this congested. The forest-kun perimeter has been breached, I repeat, the forest-kun perimeter has been breached! Or so the tale goes. After I showed Grom to the river, we followed it for a time and it grew wider and deeper as we went. I tried to raise my dexterity by skipping from stone to stone when the river was still shallow and narrow, but I ended up slipping and drenching my tooshie in the cold waters of river-chan. It seems like that''s the road up ahead. I remark to Grom. My wet bottom has mostly dried, but my pride is still in soggy pieces along with my puffdaddy. That''s why I''m currently hiding inside the big black cloak, the hood shielding me from the evil world out to make me trip and get wet and look inelegant. We walk out of the forest by crossing over some shrubbery, ending up on a nice, flat unadulterated vanilla road without evil traps. It''s just a wide strip of dirt with tracks going in either direction, but it''s still a lot better than the forest floor with its innumerable devilishly ingenious traps designed to trip me up and make me look inelegant. I can''t count on my hands the amount of times I got caught in stupid thorny bushes or walked into a low branch. The forest dungeon was a tough obstacle indeed. By the way, forest dungeon is not a metaphor for a 70''s hippie downstairs bush, okay? Goddamn it! Even if I was a clutz in my last life, which I definitely wasn''t, okay? I''ve still raised my base dexterity quite a bit from eating soldiers at the all you can eat buffet, goddamn it! That''s why... I should be elegant. Why am I not elegant!? For now, I''m going to pretend to be a sith in my big black cloak, and walk beside Grom like I am Darth Sidious and he is a blocky, bearded Darth Maul. With this, I should be able to recover some of the coolbeans which river-chan so cruelly stole from me in the cold baptism of my booty, how rudy! We walk for some time on the road without meeting anyone, but as soon as we reach the fork in the road up ahead and turn down an even wider road, we start encountering pedestrian traffic. Thanks to my Raven-chan GPS I knew to turn left, so we reached the city gates with no incident save for my wet bottomed river escapade and a few close scrapes with some angry Nigel Thornberry bushes. Smashing! To my left and right are green, yellow and purple fields. Some fuwafuwa fluffy sheep occupy a spot right up close to the road. I resist the urge to go over and bury my face in their wooly woolies. We are being watched by the people on the road so I have to restrain myself. It might be a good thing to not motorboat the wooly fluffballs, since I''ve heard that sheep can get quite oily and dirty underneath the wool coat. Still, it''s hard to believe that beneath that fluffy white cotton candy exterior lies a slimy interior. No, no, I refuse to believe it! Burying my head in the fluffiness is definitely fine, you know? But... I have to reign in my odd inclinations lest I cause us undue inconvenience by appearing mentally unstable. Yup, I''m definitely normal, and sheep are walking fluffy cotton candies and not oleaginous at all, okay? Goddamn it! We have to wait in line behind some carriages, caravans, a few simple carts with some goods and a bunch of people on foot. This place is quite different from Lintball, since Lintball didn''t have a wall or anything to protect it save for a stinkin'' horde of undead. I try to remain inconspicuous by standing stock still like only an undead can, since I heard that people''s eyes are drawn to motion, so surely not moving should increase my stealth skill to level 1 and help me shadowmeld into the background as a phantom wraith or something. Ultimate cloaked loli stealth-mode, activate! Hnng! Unfortunately it seems like my plan has backfired. I am wearing a big black cloak and it''s a crisp spring day with brightly colored fields surrounding us. Apparently, a black cloak set against a colorful background like that has caused some minor consternation amongst the rabble gathered before the mighty loli of death. **Cough**Cough ** Perhaps that''s why we''re being watched by the city guard in addition to the slightly wide-eyed occupants of the cart in front of me... I don''t know. I hope they are just looking at Grom, since he is a huge block of meat and his beard moves with the occasional breeze, which is honestly kind of hypnotizing, like swoosh. But still, the two kids on the farmer''s cart in front of me look kind of terrified of me. How foolish! This Alyce-chan shall crush your timorous hearts beneath her feet! Fuhaha. Ahen. After seeing other people, mostly humans, I can confirm that Grom is huge. Still, most of dubious stares seem to be directed at me and not the abnormally large dwarf with the glowing blue sword. What injustice is this!? I am definitely not a shifty woman, alright?! Just as I''m thinking about moving around to seem more human, I spot a group of guards making their way down the line towards us. Furrowing my brow, I reach up to remove my hood, but a voice from behind makes me jump and temporarily abort the de-hooding process. Hey, you two! A young boys voice calls and I turn around. Before me is a sleek black carriage with a caboshed golden lion symbol on its side. It''s made of some shiny metal, and the lion''s eyes are set with what looks like emerald gemstones. I feel a disturbance in the clich. A boy of around 12, with freckles and blonde super ikemen hair that swishes across his forehead has stuck his head out of the carriage window and is looking at us with wide, glistening emerald eyes not unlike those gem-eyes of the lion adorning the carriage. Are you guys adventurers? He calls, excitement clear in his light, highly strung voice. My lord, you shouldn''t mingle with commoners. An olden voice reprimands from within the carriage. But that big guy has a glowing blue sword! And isn''t that small, cloaked figure mysterious. He looks like he could be my age! The strange boy calls, almost shaking with enthusiasm. His bright-eyed, bushy-tailed ebullient nature is most adorbz indeed. Or, they could be an overgrown dwarf accompanied by a halfling of some sort. My lord, this is exactly why you should attend the academy. You lack real world experience and common sense. The dignified butler-like voice says. A halfling? How rude. I am in my growth-phase, you know! In any case, as fascinating as these two strange people''s conversation is, my attention is stolen by the encroaching guards and I turn back to face them. They approach us with hands on hilts, their eyes narrowed at Grom and I as though we are suspicious people. The audacity! Gentlemen, a word if you will. The guards say in a harsh voice, brooking no argument. Che. What did we do to be suspected like this!? It''s preposterous. We''re definitely not nefariously slithy people, okay? Goddamn it! What may we help ye with. Grom says, his tone casual. I''m sweating bullets though, phantom sweat of course since I am undead, and undead no sweat! But that still doesn''t diminish the severity of my phantom sweat in the least, you know? If I''m discovered as an undead I will be hunted down like a monster. I don''t want that, please exempt me from the witch hunt. Although I''m actually a witch, fuhaha. A fire witch even, so go ahead and burn me, I can take it! ե`ե` We received word that some suspicious people were queued up in line to enter Weimar. A guard says. He''s wearing leather-armor and has a sword and a gleaming buckler strapped to his belt, while a bucket-like helmet covers his head, obscuring his features. But his voice sounds relatively young even though it''s made kind of tinny by the helmet he''s wearing, so who knows? I have a weird feeling in my tummy that any moment now, the guard will glitch through a wall and go ''stop right there criminal scum'' and force us to pay an exorbitant fee lest we be thrown in jail. Maybe if I click him a few times he will tell me that he used to be an adventurer like me, until he took an arrow to the knee. I must avoid that at all costs. Let''s not click the guard even once, un. I be Gromnir, an adventurer. I come bearing grave news. Grom says. If you come bearing grave news, then why didn''t you skip the line and call us over? The guardsman responds. I nod in agreement. ... He does have a point Grom. I reply, and all eyes turn to me. I guess I do have a cute voice due to the legendary vocal cords I crafted using flesh manipulation, and they probably did not expect a cloaked figure to sound like a little girl, tehehe. The return of the tehehe has me all giddy and excited, but I repress my urge to squirm and squeal in turkish delight. Grom half turns and glares at me from the corner of his eye. I shrug innocently and remove the hood from my face. My name''s Alyce. This one is currently accompanying me on a trip. I say, gesturing to Grom, who frowns. I''m not an adventurer myself, but I ran into this fellow on the road and he offered to escort me for a price. He''s definitely a genuine adventurer and we do have some pretty grave news to relay. I say, my eyes almost glistening. I resist the urge to puff out my non-existent chest with pride at my own magnificent performance and fufufu as I await being showered with praise for my immensely skillful subterfuge. It''s time for the legendary loli legerdemain!Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Although if my subterfuge is amazing, they won''t know that my performance is magnificent because they would''ve been lead astray by my masterful deceptions and thus, they wouldn''t even know to praise me. Ah, the dilemma! Things don''t go the way my definitely sane and not at all delusional mind thinks it will go. Instead, all of the guards and the people waiting in line close to us, simply stare at me with their mouthes hanging open as though to catch flies. I didn''t even have to flash them my magnificent washboard chest to make them like that... At least respond to my ludicrous level loli legerdemain! Uguu! After awhile of being stared at in gawping silence, I cannot overlook their insolence any longer! What''s the matter everyone? I ask, tilting my head to one side. A high elf with demon blood? Or a demon with high-elf blood? One of the guards mutters to himself. A high-elf outside the inner sanctuary forest is rare enough as it is, but this... I am neither a demon, nor a high-elf! I say, taking a step towards the guard muttering to himself. A ripple moves through the crowd. Ah, it seems we''ve gained an audience. I lose myself in the moment and raise my hand to the skies in the supreme chuuni pose, preparing to announce to the world the greatness of the overloli. Listen well, plebeians! I am -mmmmffhfpph Grom covers my mouth with one of his huge hands. I struggle free from the hairy hamfist and glare up at him Jeez you oversized meat pie, what was that for? I say, pouting up at Grom in dissatisfaction. How dare he ruin my debut! You were about to reveal yourself Lady Alyce. Didn''t I say ye shouldnae do that? Grom says as if he''s explaining a fundamental thing to a dimwitted child. But I''m definitely not a dimwit nor a child, okay? Goddamn it! I stamp one small foot on the ground. Hmpf, so you say. Perhaps you''re right... but still, I''m not used to being so restricted. I guess it can''t be helped since I''m travelling incognito. I say. In my mind, I am once more praising myself since no one else will. Grom is doing good with the roleplay too, but it seems like I will have to become a noble lady for some reason. Of course, Alyce-chan''s heart is already noble, so it is only natural that I should become a noble lady, you know? Being a patrician is but a trivial challenge for the great overloli! Before me, the guards shuffle uneasily for a time until the original buckethead guard steps forward and addresses me with a short bow. Fortunately the guard does not seem to be inclined towards the stop right there criminal scum route, but I still have to be wary of the knee-kun boss C since that terribly traumatic thing can appear out of nowhere like lightning from a clear sky. Yup, caution is definitely warranted when it comes to the knee-kun boss, so I will not click the guards. Not even once. I won''t even hover my mouse over them just in case my hands slip. By the way, mouse is not a sexual innuendo, alright? Ahen. But well, Alyce-chan keeps her mouse firmly hidden in her pants. She won''t hover it over the guards... regardlessly. My lady, please excuse our rude behaviour. We do not get many from the Eldritch races out here, much less one of such high standing, so we do recognize that our reception may be lacking. Guard-kun says, sounding rather formal. He has good manners for a mere gate-guard and seems to have adjusted perfectly to the situation. Strange, I don''t feel like I''m emanating a ladylike aura, but perhaps I am? Or maybe he''s just being nice and playing it safe just in case I actually am a noble lady? Surely it can''t be this easy to trick everyone into thinking I''m a noble, right? I thought I would have to at least expend a little bit of effort in propping myself up as a noble. Hmm. Maybe it''s natural for the hoi polloi to address the great overloli with such effusive punctiliousness, given how great I am. Fufu, yes, that must be it, lick my feet! Ahen. For some reason, the audience observing our little exchange is completely silent and holding their breath. I don''t see any race other than humans present here, so perhaps that''s the reason for their strange behaviour? Or maybe I''m just too cute? It could be that. Let''s go with that. It''s fine. I didn''t expect to receive this kind of welcome either since I was attempting to travel surreptitiously. Being who I am in these lands so far from my home, I saw fit to hide myself. I respond. The guardsman nods. My lady, I believe in the wisdom of your decision. However, with the recent suspicious activities near the shore and the reports of undead and strange winged demons roaming the lands and doing unspeakable things to young virgins, we have to be vigilant. The guard explains, his voice somehow apologetic. I understand. In fact we may know the source of the problem. I say, but in my mind I am thinking about the winged rape monster the guard spoke of. There''s no way it''s Zan, right? Although I did tell him to go have fun... and he did fly off like a dart... oh dear. If that''s so, we would be in your dept. Still, we have to perform the routine checks to make sure you''re not just an undead in disguise trying to infiltrate the city. The guard says. Grom and I glare at him, and he raises his hands defensively. O-of course I don''t believe the ladyship or her escort is involved in anything like that, but it''s our duty as guards to- Suddenly, the young boys voice interrupts the guard. I''ll vouch for them. I look back to once more find the boys head poking out of the carriage window. His eyes meet mine, and they widen as he gasps. I smile and wink at him before turning back to the guard, who in turn looks at the carriage with a sigh. This humble guard welcomes the Cornelives house to Weimar. he says with the echo of an exasperated sigh, bowing even lower than when he was faced with me. Now that I think about it, buckethead looks more like a gangly teenager than a rugged veteran guardsman with a strange proclivity for expounding on wounded knees. I turn back to the carriage and the boy and raise my eyebrows in question. His eyes light up, and his head disappears from the window. My lord, you musn''t! The butler yells, but despite the man''s efforts to restrain the boy, he explodes out of the carriage and lands on the dusty road in rather theatrical fashion, flaring his arms out and assuming a bent T pose as though he''s waiting for applause. Judging from the reactions of the crowd, this is not the first time he has done this. A few commoners in the line snicker at the boys odd behaviour, but I find it rather fetching. He''s cute with his blonde hair, freckles and gleaming green eyes, but honestly I think I like him because he''s a bit whacky like me. By the way, I am definitely not a shifty shotacon woman, okay? Goddamn it! The boy hasn''t moved from his strange pose yet and the commoners are getting restless, waiting for something to happen. Hmm. It is up to the great overloli then. Aah, you amateur! I shout, making a few people jump. One guardsman accidentally drops his sword on the ground and tries to pick it up casually. However, his comrades notice his mishap, laughing and slapping his shoulder. Most people are still observing the strangely behaving noble cautiously though, so it seems that commoners and nobles have that kind of relationship even in this world. Of course, I am neither a noble nor a commoner so I don''t really care. With this, the surroundings have been sufficiently distracted and the boy''s emerald eyes are still looking at me. Quickly, I throw off the black cloak and jump forward, landing in front of the T-posed boy. I look at him seriously for a moment and our eyes meet. His face is getting red, so maybe he has to fart. I quickly proceed with my plan since I don''t want the cute boy to be embarrassed in public. Watch closely now, you amateur. I say. I am hardly cognizent of the completely silent surroundings, though I do get the sense that a few people are staring at us with dislocated jaws. I resist the urge to scream ''Do you want to scoop the ground up with those low-hanging jaws?'' If no one is going to tsukkomi me, I have to do it myself, you know? Still, what a sad state of affairs. Clearing my throat, I start strong by mesmerising my audience with the walk like an egyptian dance, then I twirl around like a ballet dancer, but it makes me dizzy so I have to stop because I don''t want to fall. Of course, I end strongly too with an epic double dab to the left and right. I then take one step back and take a stance similar to the boys T pose, awaiting the omnifarious praises no doubt about to be heaped upon me for my daring, groundbreaking performance. But... Hmm, what should I say about the reaction? Profound silence. It''s so deathly quiet you would be able to hear a melty jelly drop to the ground in a sea of goop and precisely pinpoint the location! I tried hard to find a haystack-like metaphor pertaining to my fleshly inclinations, okay? Goddamn it! Suddenly, I hear a loud smack and look up to see the boy holding his head. Behind the boy there''s a very tall, thin grey haired gentleman with a long, angular face that exudes butlerliness, scowling severely down at the blonde haired noble boy. Ugh Sebastian what was that for? The boy says, pouting but then his eyes fall onto me and they widen before he hurriedly looks down again. He must find the ground very interesting, but I don''t see anything of note. It''s just a dusty dirt road. Perhaps he is looking at his shoes to see if they got dusty? Or perhaps he is embarassed that his butler''s name is Sebastian. It seems all butlers have to be named Sebastian nowadays for some reason. Maybe it''s so voice actors can say ''Sebas'' in a cool, deep manly Japanese voice after their work is adapted to anime. Though the boy is holding his head and looking down, I can safely say his face is nearly completely red like a raunchy tomato because the redness has radiated to his ears, making even his earlobes a bright scarlet. His bum must be in truly grave peril if he is turning tomato juice red from just trying to hold it in. I must hurry up and help him let the fart out before he explodes. Speaking of tomato juice, when I was menstruating for the first time, I definitely did NOT run towards the boys in my class with a tampon saying ''do you want to drink my delicious tomato juice?!'' I definitely did NOT do that, okay? Goddamn it! Ahen. We are surrounded by people and it would no doubt be bad for a noble''s image if he passes gas in public, thus my assistance may be required to diffuse the situation. I feel something strike the back of my head and staggering forward, I nearly lose my balance. Instead of tumbling to the ground immediately, I manage to stabilize myself in a controlled stumble. Come on, legs! Work! But alas, it was not fated to be. I fail and trip over my feet, falling forward like a log, the boy is directly in my path like an unfortunate woodsman that didn''t hear the word timber. The blonde boy looks up and his eyes go wide as he sees me falling towards him. With impact imminent, I strive to avoid hitting his stomach because I am very considerate of his rectal requisitioning, although I thankfully don''t have the bum perils anymore. I hold my arms out to the side. Unfortunately... he does the same. We smack our foreheads together as I land on top of him. Our noses touch and our lips are mere inches apart. Double plus profound silence. Then... the only sound I can hear is the boy breathing. Before me, my entire world is consumed by his huge, round emeraldine eyes and his lips that pout slightly. So delicious! And his scent is so sweet too! I want to eat him. But he is alive and not dead, so what''s going on? If I move even just slightly, it feels like things will go wrong. He might try to kiss me as I eat his face, but gosh those freckled cheeks really look delicious, I want to add them to the Alyce-chan special! Or perhaps I should savor them slowly as sashimi?! I get doki doki excited for a moment thinking about it. He is also frozen in place and my desire to suck his delectable looking cheeks off of his face and gobble them down with a shot of his blood, has reminded me of Frank''s cannibalistic tendencies. This puts a damper on my own hunger for the moment C though it remains as a slow burn in the background. Perhaps boner-kun soup wasn''t enough to satiate my tummy today? Still, what a dangerous thing! No wonder they don''t want undead rambunctiously wandering their town. Too bad for them though, since Alyce-chan the undead super loli spy shall infiltrate their settlement regardless of their wishes, wahaha! Behind us, the butler and Grom simultaneously clear their throats and I hurriedly jump up and scramble away from the boy, realizing that I was about to embark upon a path from which there is no return. Eating the dead is fine since they''re already dead, but eating the living? Hmm. Hmmmm.... Although I know it''s wrong to eat the living, in my head it doesn''t feel wrong. It feels like... drool and om nom. As I get to my feet, my heart phantom pounding in my chest, I look down at the still paralyzed boy who has yet to get up. Having reigned in my desire to eat the boy''s face, I notice that he still isn''t moving and his eyes are closed. Perhaps the hero of holding-it-in fought so hard in the battle of the bum that he ended up fainting. But if so, he should''ve let the fart out... Since he hasn''t done that, it''s only fair to assume that the boy hasn''t lost consciousness. Of course, my expert level Sherloli holmes deduction is confirmed when the boy''s clenched fists tremble slightly. Ah his face is still quite red, I have to do something soon. I glance back at Grom, who for some reason looks ashamed of himself. Even though I was so happy that he finally slapped me... he has no reason to feel shame, does he? Perhaps he is wracked by feelings of guilt for omitting the nandeyanen after the tsukkomi slap. Ah, but he still owes me a slap from back then too... how can I get him to slap me more? That is something to ponder for later. Right now, I have to take care of this situation since there''s a crowd of people just staring at us. Actually, it''s quite uncomfortable to be stared at like that, even for me, and I am definitely not an exhibiitionist, you hear me? I... I never did suspicious things in public in my last life, okay? Goddamn it! The gaze of the crowd weighs heavily upon me as I nod resolutely in Grom''s direction before turning back to the boy writhing about on the ground. I pick him up and haul him into the carriage. Although the step-up into the sleek black and gold carriage is rather high up off the ground, my legs have a knee-joint unmolested by stray arrows, so it isn''t too troublesome for me to do some knee-bending and ascend to level two even though I am carrying the boy in my arms. If it was a fully grown man or the oversized Grom, I''m not sure I would be able to so adroitly handle the meatbag, but since wacky noble-kun is only about 12, I pass the meat handling test with flying colours. Chapter 10 – My first quest. I''m currently riding inside the carriage on a plushy-wushy dark green seat with the boy, Renauld Cornelives and his butler Sebastian, seated opposite me. The seat is so soft that my butt has disappeared into it. I think its name should be changed from seat to butt receptacle... perhaps that has something to do with why I cannot feel a thing and why the ride is so smooth. The shock absorbant butt receptacle is working hard today aswell, fufufu. It should be happy to be graced with Alyce-chan''s elegant tooshie. I know we are advancing because of the clop clop of hooves on cobble stone that resounds outside the carriage. Although the sound is severely muffled by the luxurious carriage, my ears are long and awesome high-elf ears so I can hear quite well, you know? Alyce-chan is amazing, right? Unfortunately I''ve had to leave Grom behind at the gate since he couldn''t fit into the carriage. It''s okay though, since I told him I will find him later. Actually, I just dumped him because he''s going to be talking to the guards about the Arch-lich threat. The fact that the big bad boner of doom has landed his skeletal troops on the shores of this land is certainly cause for worry, but I absolutely won''t let it obstruct my enjoyment of Weimar! After all, this is my first time inside a proper, living town in this other world, so I have to enjoy myself otherwise the god of reincarnation might smite me for my insolence. If I was a japanese MC, I would immediately go buy slaves with my cheat gold after arriving in the first town. Then I would head to the adventurers guild where a cute female receptionist with huge lady lungs would welcome me warmly and get a crush on me. Then a bunch of rowdy adventurers would pick a fight with me and I would have a chance to show off my cool side and pwn them with my cheat powers in front of the lady with the fulsome funbags. Of course, sometimes another adventurer comes and saves the MC from the baddies making a ruckus at the adventurers guild, and of course that is also a girl. Actually, almost every character of note in that type of novel is a girl for some reason. Thank god my world is not the world of a reincarnated Japanese MC. Or is it? Oh my gah. What if some day I run into one of those harem-toting protagonists? Alyce-chan might have to kill a living being intentionally, you know?! Sebastian and Ren are quietly observing me as I press my face against the window and humm hnng at the sights of the city, trying to forget about the possibility of me being reincarnated together with a japanese protagonist. Ah, but when I think about it, doesn''t that mean that their meat has traveled all the way from earth or something? ... For some reason, I want to eat a summoned hero now. Maybe later I can find one, but they should be quite a rare delectability so I might have to look awhile before I find one. Come to think of it, I have no idea where this carriage is headed. I mumble, detaching my face from the window like velcro and looking over at my fellow travelers. At my words, Ren-kun looks up at his butler and puffs out his cheeks like the child he is. Sebastian clears his throat. My lord will be staying at his family estate in the inner part of the city. The butler says, his eyes sharp and his tone brooking no argument. Hmpf, why can''t I go to the adventurers guild now? Ren replies. Because my lord, your grandfather wishes to see you soon. They are no doubt preparing a feast to welcome you as we speak. Grandpa can wait! Doesn''t adventuring excite you Sebas? I heard you were one in the past... so how come you won''t let me go? Ren-kun said, swaying from side to side, arms crossed over his eyes and his cheeks puffed out. He strikes quite the comical pose, not at all mature but then again you wouldn''t normally expect a 12 year old to be mature, would you? Come to think of it, he still hasn''t farted yet. Why is that? Could I be wrong about his posterior perils? No, there''s no way I''m wrong, right? I guess it was a fizzly phantom fart or something... I''m definitely not wrong, okay? Goddamn it! What do you think, lady Alyce? Ren asks me, lowering his arms and dropping the puffy cheek act. Ohoho, he called me a lady. Isn''t it every boys dream to become an adventurer? The romance of monster slaying, dungeon delving, leveling up and getting stronger! It''s an irresistible desire for many. I say. Ren-kun nods vigorously. Sebastian clears his throat again... he seems to be well practiced when it comes to throat clearing. It''s certainly true that many want to be adventurers when they are young, but it''s not all sunshine and honeycakes. You can easily lose your life on a job and you drift from town to town looking at the billboards for work whenever monsters appear. It''s not an easy life and certainly not something a young lord should be considering when he hasn''t even completed the adventurer''s academy Sebastian says sharply. Suddenly, my expression tightens and I affect a stern gaze, sending an eye-beam of seriousness over at Sebastian and Ren-kun with wide eyes. They both look at me and raise their eyebrows in surprise. This is a matter of grave concern. I say, and although puzzled, my two travelling companions are now rather serious looking. You mentioned honeycakes. Where? When?! I say, almost jumping out of my seat as I struggle to contain my drool. For a moment, my two carriage homies just stare at me blankly. Then Sebastian sighs and leans back closing his eyes and mumbling something to himself. Something rude about immature kids, how dare he! But Ren-kun... is still looking at me with a dumbfounded expression. Unlike Grom, Ren-kun is a pure and innocent child, so I should grasp this chance and exploit him! Fufufu. I slowly bend forward and present the top of my head to him. Go on, do what must be done. I say, trying to sound serious again. For a moment, nothing happens, but then a small hand pats me on my head and ruffles my hair, his fingers passing through my silky L''Oral locks. A tingle shoots down my spine and makes me shiver. Were I not undead, I think I might have gotten goosebumps on my arms. What a strange sensation... the energy of the living! I wonder if his blood tastes good... Alyce-chan is not a vampire though. Clearing my throat, I pull back and look up to find Ren-kun looking at me sheepishly. Now it''s my turn to puff out my cheeks. Jeez, just how hard is it to get someone to tsukkomi nandeyanen slap me around here, huh?! I say, crossing my arms over my chest. Their clueless expression is a dart of pain that strikes me deeply right in the heartchamber-chan, but alas I have to endure their plebeian ignorance. Eventually, we arrive at our destination, a rather large estate. First we pass through a private gate with cool looking, tabard wearing guards outside. They don''t give off the ''stop right there criminal scum'' vibe at all. I''m getting more of a medieval knight ''come hither and face me if you dare, barbarian!'' type of vibe from the tabard-wearing guards, what with their gleaming armor and stiff formal attitude. We drive through a beautiful garden full of flowers, greenery, small ponds and tiled pathes and finally pull up outside an expansive driveway with stables and carriage parking facilities somewhere off in the distance. Sebastian immediately opens the carriage door and exits, preparing the way for his young lord like a true master of the butt... butler arts. Ren-kun looks over at me, his eyes shining with hope as if to say ''you''ll come with, right?'' I nod. Of course I will! I have come this far, haven''t I? Besides, they promised that there''d be honeycakes, you know? What kind of girl can resist honeycakes, huh? After Ren has left the carriage, I take utmost care to make sure I don''t trip and fall and so I can say with confidence that yes indeed, Alyce-chan did not fall this time! Super progress, amazingly goodly great, right? Riiight?! Anyway, Ren-kun grabs my hand and drags me towards the huge entrance, his butler following close behind. I''m feeling slightly discombobulated by the way he is dragging me along like a new toy, but I guess it''s fine. Alyce-chan can endure almost anything if it leads to honeycakes, you know? The foyer is a huge hallway with a black and green carpet lined by white pillars and sculptures reminiscent of ancient greece. Thankfully these statues don''t have micropenises like those greek statues. They are just busts of respectable looking men and women gazing at me seriously. I look up at the ceiling far above and wonder why they had to make the ceiling so ridiculously high. Maybe I could even fly a kite in here. Ohoho, Alyce-chan joke! I''m dragged through kitehigh hallway after hitekigh hallway after thigh-high hallway progressively getting smaller as we go, the hallway not me! I am just the perfect size, okay? goddamn it! ... until eventually we end up in a more quiet and modest area of the huge mansion. Welcome! Ren says enthusiastically, arms spread before him. I look over at him in confusion and behind me, butlerman clears his throat. Eh, butlerman? What is that, some kind of new narvel superhero?! Butlerman, butlerman, does whatever a butler can!? This is my lord''s private wing. Only two rooms are occupied here, my lord''s room and mine own, the rest are guest rooms. Butlerman explains and I nod seriously in response. I see, but... are the honeycakes here? I ask. For a moment, confusion flickers across Ren and Sebas'' faces. No, but I do believe there will be some at the feast tonight. My lord you go and dress first. Sebas says. Ren-kun harumphs but his objection is half-hearted and he soon disappears into his room, an eagerness in his steps. So? What am I doing here then? I ask. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. Come with me and I will show you to your room. We must attend to your appearance and fit you with some proper clothes for the feast. Butlerman says and I give him a nod. It makes sense, you know? After all, I am going to eat honeycakes. It is a monumentally important event which requires a properly prim dress and the affectation of a serious attitude with which to face the challenge of munching down the delectabilities on display. Or atleast I hope they will be... no. I won''t even entertain the faintest notion that the honeycakes will be bad or that they won''t be there. There will be a whole mountain of honeycakes, and they will be greatly excellently good, okay? Goddamn it! Butlerman takes me to a large room and leaves me to my own devices, promising to send someone that will help me with my clothes. To be honest, after coming to this world I half expected that the quality of life would be lower, and perhaps it is for most people... but this room has a huge bathroom attached to it with a nice pool and mirror covering the entirety of one wall. Slowly, my lips pull back from my face and I grin madly at the empty bath, vowing that it shall soon be empty no longer! Ever since I first stepped foot in this new world, it seems like I''ve been bathing in blood, guts and rotting corpses... so a bath... oh my gah an actual bath. AAAAH! I quickly ditch the worn clothes and walk over to look at the shining gems embedded in the wall. Near the pool, there is a red gem, an orange gem and a blue gem. I shrug and press the red gem with a slender little finger and soon the bigly big natatorium wannabe tub-pool starts filling with steamy hot water! Gosh, I can''t wait to get a proper bath... in a big bathtub no less! Alyce-chan is excited! I used to love soaking in hotsprings and bathtubs in my old life. One time when I was in hokkaido, northern japan, I spent an entire week in one of those outdoor hotsprings where bare-arsed monkeys watched me and my friends. We would occasionally bring snacks for the monkeys and it was quite a fun experience. This bathroom doesn''t have any bare-arsed monkeys except for me, and the tub is nearly half full now. Walking over to the huge mirror on the wall, I smile and say Magic mirror on the wall, who is the greatest overloli of them all? Of course, I receive no reply, but a reply is unnecessary because I already know the answer, fufufu. Shaking my head once, I observe how my long white hair sways when I move my head. It reaches almost all the way down to my hip. By the way, the genital situation is fine now thankfully. What really catches my attention are my eyes. I haven''t had time to look at them up until now, but... I see, it was like that after all. I close my eyes and recall the message from back then.
Congratulations. You have successfully used Flesh manipulation (unique skill) to craft Demonic Eyes of Deaths Pursuit (Grade: Legendary, unique.) Nobody else possess eyes that are quite like yours. +10 perception.
One of my eyes is blue, but it has a glowing purple circle in the middle around the pupil. The other eye is a crimson, evil looking eye that reminds me of vampires... and ghouls I guess. My hair is like moonlight... and my chest is flat like a washboard. Yup! I nod to myself and the figure in the mirror does so as well. She looks so damn cute! But yup indeed. I have become a chuunibyou-like anime character, but I will fight with all my might against the destiny of being picked up by the protagonist in the adventurers guild as the loli part of his no doubt considerably extensive and constantly growing harem of mindless dolls. Suddenly my toes get wet and I look over to see that the bathtub pool is filled to the brim and water just keeps coming out of it and spilling onto the floor. Oopsie doopsie. I hurry over and tap the big red gem, hoping that it will recognize my desire to turn it off. Thankfully, the flow of steamy hot water stops. So although I''ve made a bit of a mess, it seems like I am now finally ready to bath. Bathy bath! Bathilda bathory. BATHory. Bath... story... Just as I reach the bathtub and place my hands on it preparing to vault myself into its steamy hot depths, I sense a disturbance in the force and look towards the bathroom door. It is open and in the doorway is a young girl with fluffy animal ears on her head! She has fuzzy brown curls of hair falling down to her shoulders and wears what can only be described as a maid uniform. She is quite adorable. In her arms she holds a big bundle of various articles of clothing. Her mouth is half open and her eyes are wide as she just stares at me. I wonder why the girl is staring so much. Not only is she a young teenage girl, but she is also a servant of this mansion, right? So surely that girl has undergone professional maid training? Why would she freeze when she sees little old me? Maybe it''s the fact that I am extremely cute, but... well... she is still staring at me, her face growing redder and redder so perhaps she is of the lesbiotic predilection. With a sigh my hand drifts away from the bathtub. "Soon my darling, soon" I whisper neath my breath, gently rubbing the side of the bathrub with my hand for a few seconds. Soon! That is what I vow in my heart of hearts as I turn to the animal-eared maid and clear my throat. "Ahen, yes what is it?" I ask, trying to sound a bit like a noble. Suddenly the animal eared maid throws out a bow, almost folding herself in two like one side of a square. Unfortunately, the floor is still a bit wet. She slips and stumbles forward, her feet sliding in the water as she tries to not get the clothes she is carrying wet. Despite the fact that I can see her stumbling, I can do naught but watch as she flails her way towards me. "Aaah!" she shouts, her feet finally sliding from under her as she falls down, hitting the floor with a small splash and a slappy sound. "Are you alright?" I ask, walking over to where she lies prone on the floor. All of the clothes she was carrying have been dropped onto the watery bathroom floor. I can hear sniffling sounds coming from the maid. So I walk over and place my hand on her quivering shoulders. "Don''t mind it! It was my fault that the floor was wet. So stop crying okay?" I say, patting the downed maid on her back. Twitch twitch. Something is twitching... I look down to her butt and find a fluffy animal tail sticking out of her uniform. It''s a bit like a wolfs tail, yet brown like her hair and ears. Oh my god! Quickly, I grab for the now slightly swaying tail. Once I catch it, I gently squeeze my hand around it and stroke it once. The maid on the floor starts writhing about oddly, so I stop the tail stroking and walk back towards her head. "Hey, are you really alright? You didn''t hurt yourself, did you?" I ask. I''m actually getting a bit concerned now. I mean, there''s still a bit of water on the floor so she could be having a hard time breathing. Well, if she dies I will have a nice snack before the main dish of honeycakes, but the Cornelives house might get suspicious. It doesn''t seem like she''s dying. I decide that this issue must be resolved before I can take a bath. It is unfortunate, but this poor little maid needs looking after before I can plunge the depths of bathtub-chan. I reach down and grab her shoulders. With my newfound physical strength, it should be no problem to pull her to her feet again and get her fixed up so that I can take my bath. Squeezing her shoulders slightly, I hoist the colors high. The maid emits out a cute little yelp of surprise as I hoist her up. Unfortunately, Alyce-chan is short. But then again, that is the price you must pay if you wish to become an ultra amazing loli. However, due to my height being slightly, just slightly mind you! But still a bit too short to stand the maid up straight, I end up putting the maid on her knees in front of me, which is kind of awkward. Just imagine if I was a 15 year old mentally challenged JP protagonist in this situation. A dog-eared maid girl would be on her knees before me, wearing wet see-through clothes with her head at crotch height... as things stand, the only thing she is faced with as of right now is my washboard flat chest and we''re both girls so the wet clothes don''t matter. Phew, dodged a bullet there. So why is she so distressed?! Alyce-chan is not that good with people, you know? I had a hard time unlocking my real life social skills in my previous life, alright?! The maid is staring at me wide-eyed, the front of her uniform is all wet and so is her hair and her fluffy ears. At the corner of her eyes, I think I see a few tears. "Oh no... I''m so..sho-shorry! I can''t believe I dropped the clothes! Mistress will be sho mad." She says, her eyes moist as she looks at me. Since she is on her knees, her head-height is lower than mine so I pat her head like a big sister. "There, there. I''m sure it''ll be alright." The maid sniffles, but accepts my headpats obediently. Of course, my true aim is to nugi nugi her ears! Which reminds me... last person I nugi nugi''d was Zan, my imp summon. I wonder if he is having fun? ahaha... there''s no way he''s the one that has been visiting virgins in their beds at night, right? Alyce-chan is right, you know? My summons is definitely not in possession of a special skill called hymen-destruction, okay? Goddamn it! Come to think of it, do I have... no, let''s not even go there. Although I probably do have one. Ahen. "What''s your name?" I ask the still kneeling maid, in the hope that I can somehow fix the situation and get in my bath. "I am Tie''sha, my lady. A-at your service." The maid says, lowering her head. "Nice to meet you, Tie''sha." I say, also bowing my head slightly and taking a step back from the maid. She finally gets to her feet, although she is still wet and water drips from her. "What a mess..." Tie''sha mumbles to herself, looking down. "Ah well, I''m not sure how to handle this, I just want a bath!" I say. Grabbing the side of the bathtub, I fling myself into the hot waters with a little squeal of delight, followed shortly by a nice big splash. After spinning myself around under the water a few times, smiling from ear to ear and maybe looking slightly... just slightly crazy, I emerge above water again to find that Tie''sha is inspecting the clothes. "Can they be salvaged?" I ask. In truth, the only reason I care about the clothes is because it will be hard to go eat honeycakes at the feast without them. Tie''sha shakes her head slowly. "No... I''m so sorry. It''s all my fault. How can I face mistress when I fail like this on my first day after training..." Cocking my head to one side, I ask. "Can''t you just go and get some new ones? Tell her that I didn''t like these clothes. You don''t have to tell her you got them wet." Tie''sha looks at me, her ears twitching slightly as she fiddles nervously with the hem of her maid uniform. "Uhm... wouldn''t that be lying?" "Not at all! It is merely an interpretation of reality, nothing more, nothing less! Just a tiny bit of a prevaricative equivocation, but definitely not a lie, alright? Nevermind those clothes anyway, aren''t you also a mess? Do you have a spare uniform lying around?" Tie''sha once more looks down, embarrassed. "I don''t..." she says, her voice almost a whisper. "You know what Tie''sha?" I ask, suddenly sitting up straight in the bath and giving her a big smile. Tie''shi slowly shakes her head. "I command you to come here and scrub my back in the bath. Forget about the clothes for now, just poke your head out the door and yell for another servant and explain to her what I require. And tell her to bring along a spare maid uniform for you. Problem solved, right?" Tie''sha looks uncertain for a moment, but with a sigh she nods and goes back to perform the task like a dutiful minion should. Hopefully I don''t need to build additional pylons to get an extra probe **cough** I mean maid. I take a deep breath and lean back, submerging myself in the steamy hot water. Soon, a profound peace fills my heart and I can''t help but smile. Not a wild crazy mad Alyce-chan smile, just a little smile of pure enjoyment and relaxation and peace. My little slice of heaven. My spine tingles as every part of my body relaxes. From my head all the way down to my toes, I feel a great relaxation sweep over me. Closing my eyes, I just lay there on the bottom of the bathtub, enjoying the sensation of being submerged in the glorious hot water, the faint smile lingering. ... Suddenly, a hand breaks the surface of the water with a splash and I open my eyes just in time to see Tie''sha the maid grabbing at me, a desperate look on her face. Oh... goddamn it, I forgot normal people breathe and stuff. It must look like I drowned or something. I grab Tie''sha''s hand and let her drag me up. "My lady!" She shouts, pulling me towards her. "I''m fine. I was just enjoying the bath. Please stop pulling on my arm or it will come off!" I reply. Tie''sha looks slightly abashed, but her brow furrows as she stares down at me. Oh dearie me, it looks like she is going to go into child scolding mode even though she''s just a teenager and a newly hatched maidling at that. Sure enough, she raises one finger in the air. "Now listen here young lady-yaaahh!" I have no patience for that kind of thing right now, so I grab her wrist and pull, causing her to fall into the bath with a splash. Tie''sha flails her arms around as she struggles to the surface. She just looks at me, her face blank. I reach out and subdue her with a quick nugi nugi on her ears, making her squirm slightly. After petting her for awhile, I cock my head and ask. "Have you calmed down yet?" Tie''sha nods obediently, still saying nothing. "Well then, off with your clothes! It''s time to scrubby scrub and clean ourselves. You''ll be at the feast, right?" At that, Tie''sha pauses. "Uhm, actually I''m not allowed... it''s only for nobles of high standing and important guests like high ranked adventurers and mages from the tower..." "Bummer. Aren''t there servants at the party?" I ask. And Tie''sha nods her head. "There are, but only the high ranking servants. I''m a newbie that just finished my fundamental training and I''m still leveling up my maid skills." I cross my arms over my chest. "We will see. I think I''m gonna ask them if they could make you my personal servant at the party. I rather like you." I say. And I like your ears and tail, they are so cute! I silently add in my head. This Tie''sha girl shall be the substitute for the sheep I saw at the entrance to Weimar. If I can''t mofumofu the sheep, I can nugi-nugi the maid''s animal ears instead. Yup. I smile at the girl, and I can feel my face twitching slightly. Tie''sha''s eyes widen and she leans her body away from me. "my...my lady?" It... it couldn''t be that Tie''sha sensed a disturbance in the force? I thought I hid my devious nature quite well. Alyce-chan is a master of deception, you know?! I''m definitely not a clumsy airhead okay? Goddamn it! "Ahen. Now then, why don''t you help me get clean? It''s been awhile since I''ve had a bath and to be honest I haven''t been going to the cleanest places as of late." Tie''sha leans over the edge of the tub, fiddling with a cabinet from which she manages to procure some pinkish goo in a clear potion-like bottle with a heart-shaped stopper. It looks like it smells of strawberries. Maybe it''s made of sugar, spice and everything nice. Ohoho. She hands me the curious powerpuff potion with a nod. "You''ve been travelling a lot Lady Alyce?" "Uhuh, it feels like I''ve been travelling forever... but not without reason like some wandering samurai, you know?" I say, unstopping the soap potion and upending it over my head, letting the pink goo drip into my hair. It releases a sweet strawberry scent... and is that a trace of honey? With this, maybe Alyce-chan will become a powerpuff girl? Fufufu. That trace of honey... serves as a great reminder of what my true mission here is. I cannot get distracted by the cute fluffy-eared maid. She is but a secondary quest objective in the grand scheme of things, a potential minion. Tie''sha reaches over to wash my hair. As she scrubs, bubbles quickly form and duplicate themselves until they are everywhere. Tie''sha giggles, sounding more like the teenage girl I knew her to be at first glance. "Hehe, lady Alyce you look so cute with bubbles in your hair." Tie''sha says, smiling down at me as she continues to wash my hair. Chapter 11 – Battle of the honeycakes. I gently pick up the neatly folded cyan serviette, using it to dab daintily at the side of my mouth where a bit of drool has accumulated. It is quite unfortunate, but due to how incredibly boring the first part of the evening was, I ended up falling asleep. I woke up with a start when the other guests clapped and the stage performers got down from the wooden podium on which they were writhing about earlier. God, that was a traumatic performance. By the way, I am wearing a quite expensive white dress that makes me look ominously like a bride at a wedding, along with very nice silver ear-rings set with two small emeralds. I hope I get to keep them, fufufu. Upon arrival, I overwhelmed Ren-kun with my amazing charm and he was taken away by his parents, face bright red as a tomato and stammering like a virgin. Though I suppose it''s only fair, him being 12 and all... Luckily they had to sit front and center and pretend to enjoy the horrible podium performance of scantily clad men and women performing a bizarre dance and making weird animal noises. I thought I had left that sort of ridiculous nonsense behind in my old world, but it seems that even here... such grotesque abominations exist. It''s enough to make you want to commit a little bit of genocide. Anyway, right now I''m extremely excited because the performance has come to an end and the butlerman has just announced that it''s time to feast! By the way, I have a whole table to myself in the corner... I know what you''re thinking. Surely they put me in a corner because I am too amazingly cute and would attract too much attention, but the truth is that due to Tie''sha being an entry level maid I had to compromise. But it''s actually not a compromise... I love this deal! "Sha, sha!" I shout, waving my cyan serviette drenced in drool at the approaching Tie''sha. I can''t help but bounce up and down on my seat a few times because she is bringing a huge tray full of honeycakes... hahaha! Happiness is overflowing. UNLIMITED CAKE! Ahen. Yes. "Here you go my Lady, the high-chefs goldflaked honeycakes as requested." Tie''sha says, her tone formal. I sense an ominous presence and turning my eye to the shadows. I can see a few ninja-like maids observing Tie''sha closely from the shadows. I narrow my eyes at them and a look of surprise flashes across their face before they hurriedly bow and take their leave. Good good. Go away! Tie''sha is mine alone. I puff out my chest and raise my head into the air. "Tie''sha, I command you to sit in the chair opposite me and eat honeycakes with me." I say trying to make my tone sound imperious and noble. Tie''sha once again gains a nervous expression, looking around with confusion for a moment before realizing she is no longer being scrutinized by shadowy ninja-maids. She sighs and seats herself opposite me. Our table is a small, round thing barely big enough to contain the enormous silver platter on which rests the grand treasure into which I am about to dig! But that''s fine. I''ve eaten rotten skeleton corpse out of a fulgurite sandbowl... and worse things off of a blood covered battlefield... Whats a cramped table to me, huh? Well, let''s not dwell on the past when there are honeycakes to eat. "Tie''sha!" I shout. "Ye-yes my lady?" My little fluffy-eared maid says, sitting up straight. "Join me, and together we will eat the honeycakes as father and son!" I say, raising a fist in the air and shaking it a few times. Tie''sha looks very confused, I grin up at her, showing my fangs and winking at her before I grab one of the honeycakes from the platter. Its golden crust is glistening with a hint of sticky honey and on that sticky honey-covered surface there are golden sugarflakes. Oh my gah! I fight against the drool, but it''s a futile battle which I soon lose. The honeycake is about the size of that thing you put those industrial coffee cups on to spare the table. You know those stupid cups with way too small handles? Even as a woman with slender and elegant fingers in my previous life, I wasn''t able to fit a finger through that tiny handle. Truly ridiculous. Anyway, the honeycake is the size of a small plate, so I hold it with two hands and raise it to my mouth, all the while shaking with anticipation. I can feel the drool running out the side of my mouth like a small waterfall, but there is little I can do about that right now. I wrap my lips around the edge of the honeycake, a sweet sugary taste already sizzling my tastebuds. The amount of drool increases. I think I might''ve let out a weird laugh. Looking up at Tie''sha just staring at me with her mouth half open, I shrug. **Munch** **Nom** I bite down and the crunchy yet soft and sticky texture is just too amazing! I let out a little sound. HNNNNG! And continue to eat, to munch and crunch and drool all over the place until nothing is left of my first honeycake. Swallowing the last bit of honeycake, a huge smile spreads on my face. Oh my gah! That was so good. Tie''sha I command you to try one of those immediately! Go on, eat. You must eat! I say, giving her puppy eyes. It looks like Tie''sha wants to say something, but looking at my still smiling face and wide puppy eyes she decides against it. With a sigh, she bites into a honeycake of her own. Soon her eyes go wide and she starts desperately eating the honeycake like a wild beast. When it''s all gone, she looks down at her hands in disbelief, then shakes her head as if she''s waking up from a strange trance. I point a small, sticky with honey, finger in her direction. Naive! You must not underestimate the power of the honeycake! What was with that sigh, huh? What kind of attitude is that! I say. Tie''sha lowers her head, a tinge of red on her cheeks as her ears twitch slightly. Ah, my cyute Tie''sha, I forgib you! I notice that the background buzz of people making conversation in the banquet hall... has lessened considerably. Slowly, I lower my finger to the table and look out at the room, dread filling my heart. Sure enough, many many people are looking over at me. Some look like they are about to fart, but most look like they can barely contain their laughter, their eyes almost mocking me! How dare they mock me?! I should go over there and eat them. Ah, but the honeycakes... My.. my lady... Tie''sha says quietly, almost in a whisper. What is it, my honeycake apprentice? I say, regaining some of my confidence as the room shrugs collectively and goes back to their own meals and conversations. You... on your face... and... drool... Tie''sha says, her words nearly inaudible. My face what? Don''t tell me it melted off again? I don''t have enough biomass to rebuild it right now-- Suddenly realizing what I''m saying, I shut my mouth. Tie''sha looks confused, but once more she shakes herself from the stupor and gets to her feet with a sigh. She walks around the table, grabbing the infamous cyan serviette on the way and turning it inside out, spitting on it! A look of horror comes over my face and I squirm anxiously in the chair. Oh no, it''s the grandmother maneuver! As Tie''sha approaches, she tsks at me. Actually tsks! On your nose. She says, using the spit-laden serviette to clean my nose. On your cheeks. On your mouth. So many crumbs... Tie''sha continues. Then she looks down. And on your neck... drool. ... And on the dress, a bit too...sticky. Let me get another serviette for you, just a moment. ... Tie''sha replenishes her supply of cyan serviettes and continues to wipe off my dress and my face using the age old grandma spit technique, the horror of which I had thought would never again return to haunt me in my dreams. Fortunately, that which she applies to my face and dress is a cute fluffy-eared maid''s saliva, not an old withered woman''s vomitous secretions. I guess that''s why its bearable, but still! Once Tie''sha has finished with me, she steps back and admires her handiwork, pride evident on her smugly smirking face. Just you wait... later, I''ll nugi-nugi you until you beg for mercy. I cross my arms over my chest, turn my head away and harumph. I... I wasn''t that much of a mess. Tie''sha opens her mouth. I wasn''t that much of a mess, okay? Goddamn it! I say, causing the maid to jump and take a step back, but then she starts laughing and walks over to me, patting me on the head. You''re still a child aren''t you, my lady. Tie''sha says as she ruffles my hair. She seems a bit too pleased with herself, so I look up at her. I make sure to hold eye-contact as I bring my hands in front of my face and slowly-slowly make a nugi-nugi motion with my index and thumb as I just stare at her. Gradually, Tie''sha''s face pales and a small smile creeps unto my lips as I mouthe ''later''. Tie''sha shivers in fear for awhile, but then I decide to relent because there are more honeycakes awaiting destruction on the silver platterfield below. Tie''sha, take a look at the war map. I say, motioning to the silver platter still full of honeycakes. The maid turns her head towards the table with a look of confusion. I get up off my chair and start to slowly walk in a circle around the table, hand outstretched as I gesture towards it. As you can see, the troops of the delishyas kingdom are still plentiful! I think that we should resume our attack upon the honeycake troops immediately. What do you say, my advisor? I stop, looking over at Tie''sha who stands beside her chair gaping at me. Then she shakes herself. Ah yes... ermm... I think we should shu-shyume the att-attack.. lady alyce. Tie''sha says, her face growing a nice shade of pink though it''s hard to fathom why. My behaviour is perfectly normal, so there should be no problem, right? Well then, I shall garrison my Tie''sha reserves on the northern side, and take up command of the southern attack force myself. I say, motioning for Tie''sha to sit down as I walk over and also sit. We sit in silence for a few seconds before I realize that my faithful subordinate is waiting for her general to give the order to attack. When I notice this, I immediately raise my hand in the air and point with one finger. Then slowly, slowly let my finger drop through the air and when it hits the side of the plate with a dull thwonk I say Attack! And quickly grab a honeycake. I''m happy to see that Tie''sha does the same. We eat honeycakes in silence for a time, listening to the dull buzz of conversations all around. I''m glad we''re in this corner away from the main party so that I can focus on eating honeycakes. After about ten, Tie''sha looks quite stuffed and her face is sticky with honey and crumbs sticking to it. My own face is no doubt the same kind of sticky mess as hers. I smile at her and she smiles back, then she starts swaying, holding one hand up to cover her mouth just before she burps and starts coughing. It-it''s nothing, lady Alyce. Just a bit thirsty... Just when Tie''sha says that, there is another clappy clap and announcement from butlerman in the background. Soon after, servants appear like a horde, carrying trays to all of the guests. When we get our tray, I see that it''s filled with two large cups of some purple fruity liquid and beside the drinks there are some faintly glowing grapes. Eh, radioactive fruit? I ask. Nevermind, it''s probably magic. Tie''sha nods, but says nothing as she quickly grabs one of the drinks and gulps it down like a seasoned mead guzzler. Her eyes go wide and she makes a small noise. mmm, this is really good Aly- I mean Lady Alyce. You should try it! Tie''sha says with a smile, now slowly cleaning herself up after the battle of the delishyas kingdom against the elite honeycake army.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. The whole room seems to be toasting and drinking the purple liquid, but my battle has yet to come to an end! With small trembling hands sticky with honey, I reach for another honeycake and munch hnng. After about 10 minutes I''ve achieved total victory over the delishyas kingdom''s honeycake troops so I quickly lick my fingers to get the most sticky honey off, then I grab the big goblet with the purple fruit liquid and glub glug it down. ... ... ...
Due to Poison immunity, you have resisted the level 8 Jarvice sleeping draft!
My eyes widen and I quickly spit out what little of the purple liquid I have left in my mouth and drop the goblet. As I look up, I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It''s been 10 minutes since everyone drank this... Sure enough, I look up to find that Tie''sha has completely passed out, her head lolling to the side and her arms dangling limply. Shit! I bend over the table and pretend that I''m also falling asleep, but I turn my head sideways and glance out at the banquet hall. It seems most of the guests are out. This is bad, real bad. Ren-kun and his noble family are all unconscious and so are the servants and guards. I don''t know what that drink was about, but it was some sort of traditional toast to good health so everyone participated. Out the corner of my eye, I spot butlerman staggering towards a door, his hand gripping a dagger, but it doesn''t look like he will make it. Before butlerman reaches the door, it opens by itself and a cold chill spreads into the room making me shiver even though I''m sitting in the corner far away from it. Wait... why the hell are there no emergency exits near me! I''m totally hemmed in here, fucks sake. I clench my fists to keep them from shaking. No way in hell I''m being captured again. Never again. My basement days are behind me, or should I say, beneath me? Then I hear the rattling of bones and from the door I see the first skeleton clacking its way into the room. It''s not carrying a weapon, but that doesn''t make the situation any less bad. Everyone is asleep! More and more skeletons pile into the room and two for one, the skeletons grab the sleeping people and carry them back through the door. They''ve only taken a few old fat noble men and women so far, but they''ll soon be at Ren-kun''s table. I wanna fight them... I wanna help... but can I do that? I narrow my eye at the weaponless skeletons hoping to get a level prompt or something.
D rank, lvl 62. Skeletal servant of Lichlord Lazarik
D rank, lvl 61. Skeletal servant of Lichlord Lazarik
Hmm. It looks like they are in the level 60 range. Wait, this inspection thing... why can''t I use it on people but only on those monsters? I look over at the sleeping Tie''sha, narrow my eyes and try it again, but to no avail. The skeletons carry off another pair of nobles... I''m running out of time here and I don''t know what to do! To be honest, it feels like I can take them, but I don''t know if there are more waiting outside the room or if bonelicker Lazarik is waiting outside. No, this should be a stealth operation. They wouldn''t want to start a big fight in the middle of a settlement like this without their main forces. That''s why they used sleeping draft and are kidnapping these nobles, perhaps for ransom... Goddamn it Alyce, what have you gotten yourself into?! I look over at the sleeping and defenseless Tie''sha, the unconscious Ren-kun and his parents and I make a decision. Taking a deep breath, I prepare for battle, making sure to delegate my notifications for later so I don''t get ping overload in the midst of battle. If worse comes to worst, I can use my summons to distract while I retreat, but for now Alyce-chan is going to destroy some boners! I force myself to smile as I slowly get to my feet. The dumb skeletons take no notice of me as I single them out as targets. They are only D rank, no + marks next to them like I have. I''ve got 4 + marks and I''m hoping that means I''m a lot stronger than normal. Still, I can''t attack them frivolously with fire and AoE spells in here or I will hurt the nobles and set the building on fire... I reach out both of my small hands and point them towards the two skeletons carrying off an old maid lady. [Drain life] [Drain life]. Two dark red rays shoot from my hands, moving like whipsnakes towards their targets with a strange buzz of power. When my spell hits the two skeletons, they immediately freeze and drop the maid. I continue channeling the two drain life spells and soon notice that my red rays are sucking out some pale green energy from the skeletons. After a few seconds, the first of the skeletons falls to pieces, the second following suit right after. Then the energy hits me and I notice it. It feels the same as before. It''s death energy. I feel full of vigor, but I also feel that my mana has been drained pretty quickly. A costly but effective spell against low HP noob minions. In starcraft these skeletons would be like workers I think. The other skeletons take notice and drop their cargo, charging at me with raised skeletal fists. There''s... way too many of them for my drain life spell. Gritting my teeth, I dual summon. [Summon Rare imp] [Summon Raven] And will my two most powerful summons to come. My original Raven-chan GPS pops out of a distortion in the air and Zan appears in a firey flash, bringing with him his characteristic sulfuric smell. No time to explain, go hold them up for me! I shout, and my summons obey, flinging themselves out to meet the charging skeletons. Death energy is what makes those skeletons move... Should I try that? Zan and Raven-chan looks like they can hold them for awhile, so it should be okay even if I fail. [Death Energy Absorption] [Death Energy Absorption] I dual cast on two skeletons that are trying to sneak around Raven-chan''s flank. Almost immediately, the green death energy is sucked from the skeletons. With my will, I drag the energy from the skeletons and draw it into me, merging it with my mana the same way I did before. Bereft of the death energy holding their bones together, the two skeletons fall to pieces. Zan smashes a couple of boners with his fists. It seems he''s realized it''s not a good idea to use fire indoors when we''re trying to save a bunch of people. [Death Energy Absorption] [Death Energy Absorption] I take out another duo of skeletons and draw their energy into myself. Wahaha, this is pretty good. I don''t even have to use mana for this since it''s instantly replenished by the death energy I absorb! Too bad you brought undead to fight me. Alyce-chan is overpowered vs undead, you know? But definitely not a mary sue, okay? Goddamn it! Raven-chan hacks at a skeleton with her beak and the skull explodes, splintering to pieces. Wow, raven-chan is pretty strong too. As expected of my original GPS, it''s the best after all. Yes, keep up the good work! Destroy the unworthy boners! I shout, casting another two [Death Energy Absorption] [Death Energy Absorption]. Soon, the banquet hall fills with silence as all twenty skeletons are reduced to piles of bones on the floor. Uhm... they were lvl 60 and yet it was so easy to kill them. I guess level isn''t everything in this world. It seems skills and stats help a lot and since I have... quite a few points in int, that buffs my magic beyond what a normal low level should have. Plus, those skeletons were just cargo transport minions similar to workers in starcraft. They probably possess no real combat ability. I mean, they didn''t have any weapons or armor, so yeah I probably shouldn''t feel too good about dispatching them even though they outlevel me by a bit. I walk over to Ren-kun''s table and quickly check his pulse, ignoring his parents. If he''s alive they should be too, and thankfully he is. Zan, Raven-chan, stay here and protect them. I will chase... I trail off as I see butlerman staggering to his feet and coughing, looking around with glazed eyes for a moment before he spots me. Butlerman narrows his eyes and starts towards me, dagger in hand. Quickly, Zan and Raven-chan move out towards him, detecting a threat. Wait, wait Raven-chan, Zan, don''t attack. At the sound of my voice, butlerman and my minions freeze, though butlerman is still on guard. I look over at him hoping that I wont have to fight him. He seems way, way stronger than the skeletons. I remember he used to be a former adventurer, so maybe that''s why. They already took a few of the nobles, maybe we can still catch up to them since the skeletons move slowly. I say, walking out infront of my minions to meet butlerman. He looks at me warily and I stop before him. Why... are you unaffected? This deception... you''re with them? He says, narrowing his eyes. I sigh. No, Sebastian. I am not with the Lich. I would''ve killed you in your sleep if I was. Plus, if I was with the Lich why would I fight the skeletons, huh? Don''t be stupid now. Butlerman frowns at me, blinking a few times and probably trying to clear his head. He nods. Yes, makes sense. But why are you not unconscious. That sleeping draft even took me out and I''ve got poison resistance level 3. I''m immune to poisons... and that was something called Jarvice sleeping draft level 8, so if you only have level 3 resistance it''s no wonder it got you. I remark as I stroll past him. He lets out a grunt but I can hear him following behind me. Then I realize I have no idea where the skeletons took the other nobles and turn back to Sebastian. You know the way better than I do. I say, motioning for him to take the lead. He does so and I turn back to my minions. I''ll be fine, just make sure to guard Ren and Tie''sha. Take them away if you have to but guard them with your lives, okay? I shout, then turn and follow behind Butlerman. I am saving ren for later, and I think Tie''sha might make a good minion. I need a personal attendant, you know? Butlerman leads me through several corridors before we come to a fork, a meeting of two corridors. Butlerman frowns and looks to me. I can''t sense their tracks well enough to tell which way... he says, his voice strained. They could either have gone deeper into the building to try and get out the back way... or go straight towards the main exit. Hmm. Butlerman muses. I close my eyes and reach out with my senses like a Sith master, trying to feel the death energy. I feel it most strongly from the left corridor. That way. I say. I get a quick raised eyebrow, but butlerman seems to accept my decision and we move swiftly onwards. As we run down another corridor towards the main exit, I begin wondering if I sensed it wrong. After all, those skeletons can''t have moved that quickly, though the battle did take awhile... but still. Soon we reach the exit and outside I can feel the death energy from the skeletons more strongly. We burst out the door. Some 30 odd skeletons are in the large driveway loading sleeping nobles onto an eerie looking cart like they are dead bodies. Two rotting horses stand ready to drag the nobles off to who knows where, and the driver, an ominous black hooded figure waits for the last noble body. When they notice us, some of the skeletons draw weapons while the weaponless worker skeletons ready their fists. As they unload the last noble, the hooded driver cracks a whip and the zombie horses neigh as the cart starts moving. Butlerman seems to panic. NO! he shouts. We can''t let them get away! Those nobles are our responsibility, if they get away the Cornelives family will get the blame! Sebas starts suicide sprinting towards the horde of skeletons in a desperate attempt to reach the driver of the corpse-cart. He won''t make it in time. I don''t really care about the Cornelives family, but Ren-kun took me to eat honeycakes so I owe him a great debt and these skullfuckers almost stole my Tie''sha, not to mention the way they interfered with my Lintball expedition. Therefore, I am not inclined to let them do as they please. Don''t think you can get away so easily! I shout, stretching both my hands towards the cart. [Fire wall] [Fire wall] [Fire wall] [Fire wall] I spam cast Fire wall and pour as much mana into the spell as I can, a maniacal smile on my face as I realize that the moon is out and that I''m at full power. In the distance, an enormous curtain of flame rises from the earth and encloses the area, making it look like the horizon is burning. I''m a bit cool. My firewall is almost 10 metres tall, it''s awesome! But it''s a bit thin and cartman is not slowing down, so I focus on the area where he is aiming to break through and cast a few more [Fire wall] [Fire wall] behind my original firewall, making that area into a no-go zone of firey death. Even though I''m at full strength, the blazing fire wall inferno that I''ve created has taken more than 50 percent of my considerable mana pool and made me feel a bit dizzy-wizzy... I used a lot, but I guess that''s why butlerman is staring at me with his mouth hanging open. Che, this isn''t the time to be admiring me, butt man! There are still 30 skeletons about to rip our faces off, you know? Hey Sebas, tank those skeletons for me will ya? I say and he nods, turning back to towards the charging skeletons and brandishing his dagger. It''s a jagged thing, looks like a kris. Butlerman seems to be more of a rogue type, but that''s fine since these are only low level 60 skeleton minions. The warrior skeletons with weapons and shields are in the 80 range though, but there are only about 10 of them. Still, butlerman doesn''t look too confident so let''s give him some help, shall we? I point my hand at a spot near my feet infront of me [Summon fire Elemental], quickly, flame spreads on the ground drawing a pentagram, and a being of fire answers my call. There is little time to admire the swirling being of flame because Sebas is about to engage 30 skeletons by himself.
Do you wish to bind the fire elemental Elishmael the living flame to your service? Note, with your skill level you can only have one fire elemental bound to your service.
Yes! I quickly will myself to accept the prompt and as soon as I do so, I feel a link between me and the swirling ball of flames. As I watch, it takes a more humanoid shape. It looks more like a small human made of flame, without legs or face. Go after the cart guy! I say. The hooded man is doing something and trying to erase my fire wall with some black smokey magic. The flames of my elemental respond with a roar and it sets off to disrupt cartman''s magic and prevent his escape. The 30 skeletons are now upon butlerman. He weaves and dodges and kills one here and there with swift stabs of his jagged dagger. As I thought, he is quite good but he still looks like he could use some help against the horde of boners descending upon him. Cocking my head, I look over my skills and smile. Alyce-chan is amazing after all, you know? I''ve got so many good spells. This is a nice time to try some more of them out. [Curse of Weakness] [Fire Enchantment: Target Sebastian''s dagger] An eerie howl rips through the air and an orange haze appears out of nowhere, clinging to all of the skeletons. I feel a lot of my mana disappearing. Damn, I''m down to only 20 percent, but it seems like I managed to use Curse of weakness AoE, neat! Sebastian starts one-hitting skeletons left, right and center with his now flaming dagger. The frontline of skeleton warriors are crumbling, but a few are off to the side flanking Sebastian. He should be fine. But just as I think that, Sebastian turns his back fully on the skeletons and continues to lay into the others. Does he not see the squad of three skeleton warriors coming towards him? I don''t have time to shout for him to beware. The skeletons are already at his back, their swords moving to stab him. Gathering as much mana as I can, I reach out to the three swords heading for Sebastians back [Telekinesis] [Telekinesis] [Telekinesis] I triple cast for the first time, willing my mana to take control of the swords like I did with the grains of sand. I can feel mana pouring from me in thick, hazy waves and I can taste my power in the air, but the swords have stopped mere inches from Sebastians back. My vision starts to darken at the edges, but I will my mana to expand from the swords to cover the entire body of the three skeletons. Slowly it creeps towards the skeletons, covering them with a shining sheen of my mana like the creeping frost of winter. My brow is furrowed as I strain, I''m very dizzy and can''t see straight. I can''t see Sebastian or the skeletons, I can only feel my mana around the three skeleton swordsmen. I''m out of juice, no more mana. It''s all there around the skeletons, holding them in place. I reach out my hand and concentrate all my efforts. With a grunt of effort, I swipe my hand to the side, flinging the three skeletons away at high velocity. I fall to my knees, dark swirls eating at my vision. I can feel myself fading... I look over to see three skeletons smashing into the side of the building at extreme velocity, their bones splintering into a thousand pieces. Then darkness coddles me in its sweet embrace. Chapter 11.5 Attack of the System-chan. With a start, I open my eyes and sit up in bed, but then I realize I am probably in the guestroom. Suddenly a great headache assaults me... system-chan begins her attack.
Ping! Due to pushing yourself to perform an incredible magical feat you''ve gained the title: Witch of the burning horizon +5 to Fire wall skill level +2 to Fire manipulation +5% fire affinity
Ping! Due to prodigious, pioneering use of telekinesis, Title gained: Psionic Scion. +5 to telekinesis +1 to mana manipulation +1 mana sense. Skill obtained: Telepathy.
Ping! You''ve killed Skeletal servant of Lichlord Lazarik x31
Ping! You''ve killed skeletal grunt of Lichlord Lazarik x6
Ping! You''ve killed Corpse reaper Coachman of Lichlord Lazarik x1
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
Ping! Congratulations, you''ve leveled up x13! +1 trait point +1 talent point +143 distributable attribute points +195 constitution.
Ping! Death Energy Manipulation has leveled up.
Ping! Death Energy Absorption has leveled up.
Ping! Drain life has leveled up.
Ping! Curse of Weakness has leveled up.
Ping! Summoning Magick has leveled up +2!
Ping! Your summon Raven familiar skill has leveled up!
Ping! Your summon rare imp familiar skill has leveled up!
Ping! Your summon Fire elemental skill has leveled up! Your bound servant, Elishmael the living flame, greatly respects your power over fire. Skill has morphed into Summon rare Fire elemental. Elishmael is able to exhibit more of his power in the mortal realm.
Bang! The door opens and Tie''sha enters my room with a tray of refreshments and a wet towel. My eyes roll up into my head and I faint from ping ping overload. Goddamn it! Chapter 12 - Maidly ministrations and the legend of the sentient beard. When I open my eyes this time, there is no ping ping overload attack from system-chan, only the gentle spine tingling sensation of lying snugly in a comfortable bed. A fresh spring breeze flows in from an open window, rustling my hair and caressing my face. I can smell the flower garden outside and a warm ray of sunlight strokes my face pleasantly like the soft tickling caress of a Robert DOWNey Jr. Feather. I sit up in bed again, this time no headache attacks me so I look around the room. I can feel my original Raven-chan flying patrol outside the window, but there are no servants in here at the moment so now is a good time to check out my harvest. Come to think of it... I wonder how frequently I have to consume the fleischgewehr to live? I wonder if it''s a requirement or if I can forego the temptations of the flesh now that I''ve mostly fixed my body up, or mayhap I still need to subsist off the flesh of the fallen? I couldn''t read over the ping ping overload messages completely before I fainted.. With all the time I spend fainting from system-chan overload, I wish I had an unconsciousness domain like the protagonists in those Chinese cultivation novels. But if that were the case, I would probably have to fend off young masters left and right whilst calling myself the black bellied young miss of the seventh porcelain flower garden or something strange like that. Oh well. I got two cool new titles and many skills leveled up, which is great news. Fufufu, praise your overloli, the witch of the burning horizon! Щ`˥󥰣 I also have 143 attribute points to distribute, which will come in handy mandy for sure. Without much hesitation, I put 102 in intellect, 21 in wisdom, 10 in strength and the last 10 to dexterity. Since I got so many points, I figure I might as well touch up my physical stats a bit while I''m at it so I''m more well rounded. I splurged a bit on dexterity, but it''s okay you know? I need my elegance, give me! I got another talent and trait point as well, so now I am up to 3 unspent points of each. It seems like they''d provide some juicy powerups, so I want to spend them soon... System-chan, please. Butlerman probably knows about talent points since he used to be an adventurer like Grom before he took a butler position to the knee, but when it comes to trait points.... I get the feeling it might not be a good idea to ask about it since it''s monster related. I guess I gotta find Grom, since he already knows about my dark secret. Maybe I can even get him to swear at me and slap my head again, that''d be nice. He could even hit me pretty hard and I''d probably be fine, since I have a lot of constitution. My HP reached 5000 sharp and I can''t help but wonder if system-chan is trolling me with that value. It''s way too precise to be a coincidence, so why?! Anyway, I cross my legs, close my eyes and take a look at my status to see what''s what yo.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Witch of the burning horizon Psionic Scion
Monster Rank: E++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 37
Character Status
Health: 5000 Mana: 21132 Stamina: 2906 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 53 Intelligence: 610 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 37 Wisdom: 146 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 466 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 40% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 40% Air: 10%
Poison: 100% Curse: 99%
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception but 100m max.
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 4 Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Sense 3 The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 5 The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 6 An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Telepathy 1 An advanced magic skill that allows the user to send thoughts to those near her. Innate unique skill. Level up to establish mental links for two-way communication.
Death Energy Manipulation 4 The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Fire manipulation 4 The ability to freely manipulate the element of fire.
Dark Energy Manipulation 2 The ability to control the mysterious dark energy. The power of the void, a high warlocks specialty.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Summon Rare Fire Elemental 2 (Active) Summon a rare fire elemental to immolate your adversaries.
Darkbolt 2(Active) Gather a heavy mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Fireball 1(Active) Gather a ball of fire and hurl it at your enemies. Explodes on impact.
Conflagrate 3(Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Blast Wave 1(Active) Fire erupts from your body in a circular shockwave, burning enemies and buying you time.
Fire wall 6(Active) Create a wall of fire to prevent your enemies from fleeing as you burn them to ash.
Blazing Barrier 1(Active) A barrier of fire, reducing incoming damage. Burns whatever comes into contact with it.
Death Energy Absorption 3 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 2(Active) Curse your enemies, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 2(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock since death is also your domain.
Fire Enchantment 1(Active) The Witch imbues something with fire, increasing the damage it deals.
Ohoho, Alyce-chan became an E-ranked monster and almost level 40! Woohoo! I''m amazingly goodly great, you know? Even though there are people level 600 and above... it''s not all about the level when you''ve got the phat stats, you know? And level 37 is still good progress for me, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, it seems I''ve been stripped to my underwear while I was asleep, so I look around the room for some clothes. Aha! Take on me! There''s a huge stack of bodily wrappings piled high upon a chair at the bedside, so I throw off the duvt of soft downy goodness and sift through the clothes for something nice to wear. I touch my pointy horizonal ears, happily finding that I''m still wearing the silver earrings set with the emerald gems. Yes yes, it''s not stealing, you know? I''m gonna keep these earrings no matter what anyone says, alright? Alyce-chan is definitely not a thief... Definitely not, okay? Goddamn it! Once I''m dressed in a white and ocean-blue skirt cardigan combo of supreme cuteness, I sit down on the bed with a pair of very long white stockings in-hand in preparation of the procedure which will soon turn me into the ultimate idol of cuteness. Just then, the door clicks, the handle turns and my great minion **Cough** maid, enters the room with a tray and wet towel like last time. When she spots me on the bed, she freezes in the doorway for a moment before continuing inside and gently shutting the door behind her. "My lady, how are you feeling?" Tie''sha asks, setting down the tray on a bedside table and picking up the wet towel. "I''m fine, no headache anymore. But what''re you doing with that wet towel?" "I was going to wipe down your body like last time. It''s the least I could do since you saved me... and the others." Tie''sha says as she approaches me with the wet towel. Let''s overlook the ''last time'' part and focus on the present moment, alright?! "As you can see, I''ve already donned some clothes and there''s no way I''m sweaty or dirty, you know? So no need to wipe me down..." I say, secretly wondering if Tie''sha is truly a closet lesbioid or just a very dedicated maid-san. Hmm, maybe I can find a clue and figure it out. Let''s watch her expression carefully. "Tie''sha, I don''t wanna strip so just wipe the exposed parts. I can''t sleep all day, you know? I''ve got quests to complete and honeycakes to eat!" I say, and Tie''sha unfolds the wet towel, approaching me. Without even asking for consent, she violates my face with wet towel-kun, wiping at my face and neck quite thoroughly, all the while gently and skillfully massaging my neck and shoulders like a true pro. I assume she''s finished when she removes the towel from my face, but upon seeing Tie''sha''s focused expression I know there is more to come. With a sigh, I stick out an arm and she wraps the towel around my hands. It''s steamy hot, and actually feels quite pleasant even though I am loathe to admit it. It''s like being coddled and bathed in soothing, gentle warmth. This certainly beats the old spit and shine grandma maneuver she pulled on me earlier, that''s for sure. I shudder just thinking about it, but looking up at my cute servant, I''m thankful all over again. What if she had been an old grandma and her dentures flew out when she tried the spit and shine?! In my mind, the image of an old Grandma mixes with that of the boner-kun skeleton Lich and congeals into a Grandma Necromancer that attacks using flying dentures and spittle. What horrible trauma... Alyce-chan has to work hard to forget her childhood sometimes, you know? So that''s why... let''s just indulge our cute Tie''sha for now. She can salivate all over me if that is what it takes to save me from the flying dentures of an old grandma necromancer. Once my minion is done with one hand and arm, I HAND her the other... hand... and she repeats the process. Tie''sha is gently kneading and squeezing my arm and the palm of my HAND and even the individual fingers of my hand. It feels nice and refreshing, especially since it''s combined with the steamy hot towel to produce a very relaxing effect. The maids of noble houses sure are something else... I have to hand it to them. Tie''sha finishes up and removes the towel, so I reach for the stockings again intending to put them on. Then Tie''sha kneels down in front of me and takes one of my feet in her HANDS, wrapping it in the warm towel. She begins her expert massage all over again with my bare foot, gently squeezing and kneading and rubbing and no, I''m just receiving a refreshing massage from my maid, you know? There''s definitely nothing sexual about this, you hear me?! Seriously, there''s not, okay? Goddamn it! Once Tie''sha has finished wiping down my feet and shins, she stands back up and takes a couple of steps back, bowing as if to say, ''un, job well done''. I look awkwardly up at her, once more reaching for the stockings. Perhaps this time I will be successful in putting them on, but... no. Tie''sha misinterprets my look and quickly plucks the stockings from my hand and looks at me with a slightly suspicious expression. Jeez, last time I was so thoroughly handled like this was back when I was a tiny baby. I don''t even remember that time, only in kindergarden when the adults helped get the jumpersuits on you and stuff, but... are such thorough ministrations the job of ordinary maids then? This really is a different world. Back in my old world, if a strange woman started rubbing and massaging a 10 year old girl they barely knew, it wouldn''t be long before there''d be a knock at that womans door from the men in blue, you know? Tie''sha should be happy that this is another world. Come to think of it... so should I. I''m having a good time here, you know? I never understood those idiots that upon arrival to a new virgin land of endless possibilities go ''No I don''t want any cheat abilities. Furthermore, where''s the way home? Nevermind, for now I will go buy some slaves for my harem''. Yes, that''s right. Feel my wrath stupid JP authors! Alyce-chan got a depression from reading so many light novels in the past, you know? Anyway, I can''t resist Tie''sha''s wide, shimmering doggy eyed pleading stare, so I stick my foot out and allow her to slide the stockings onto my feet, all the while observing her face for any sign that she may in fact be a harboring a secret lesbianism in her closet. Tie''sha''s cheeks are slightly flushed, but other than that her expression is mostly normal. Her breathing might be a little bit rough, but that''s probably because she had to climb the stairs then wipe me down, right? Right?! She''s definitely not panting because of me, okay? Goddamn it! After she finished putting the stockings on my feet, Tie''sha just kneels there holding my socked foot for awhile and staring blankly into space. "Tie''sha?" I ask, and she jumps and quickly puts my foot down before once more retreating into a professional maid-stance. "Ye-yes, my lady?" "How long has it been since then?" I ask, a little nervous. Tie''sha breathes a sigh of relief for some reason, but I just shrug. "It happened last night and you were in bed ever since then. This morning I came in to see you, and you woke up but then fainted right afterwards. Do you remember? I was afraid you might be sick or something, so I called a healer. But she kept eyeing you oddly, so I ushered her out of the room a bit forcefully..." Tie''sha says, fiddling with the hem of her maid-dress. "What does that mean, exactly?" I ask. "We-well, first the healer examined you normally, but then she cast a few holy spells and some light spells, her frown deepening each time. She had a very confused look on her face. It was then that I decided to throw her out and take care of you myself." A shiver runs down my spine and I tremble slightly before gathering myself. Huh? That''s interesting though. The healer probably felt something was off and tried to see if I would be negatively affected by holy magic like normal undead. I seem to remember a status effect called perfect corpse... that''s right. Can''t forget that I''m an undead here. My body is a bit cold and my heartbeat department''s drum and bass equipment is quite inactive.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. The healer probably thought I was dead, but then she sensed magic in me or something and got suspicious? Speaking of magic, since I began getting well acquainted with the element of fire, my cold corpse of a body has begun heating up a bit. I do hope I don''t become too hot to touch, ouh! Щ`˥󥰣 Fufufu, you picked the wrong enemy foolish unknown healer woman. This undead ghoul girl is a bit different than your run of the mill corpse homie, you know? Sticks and stones may tickle my toes, but the holy light of those wicked gods will never hurt me! Fuwahaha! I take a deep breath then let it out slowly before waving my hand in dismissal. "Never you mind that Tie''sha. Say, do you have any shoes my size? I want to go out and find my friend today." Tie''sha nods solemnly, suddenly wearing a downcast expression. "I... I was hoping you''d stay longer Lady Alyce. But if you wish to leave, you are of course free to do so at any time, though I think the Cornelives house wants to give you a reward for your performance last night." "What do you know of my performance last night?" I ask, wagging my eyebrows at Tie''sha suggestively. She doesn''t get it at all even though she is supposed to be a lusty argonian maid. I rise and free myself from bed-chans lovely embrace, walking over to where Tie''sha is standing. Then I reach up and pat her head, nugi-nugying her ears lightly in passing. "Then I''ll take you as my reward." I say, grinning up at Tie''sha, who turns bright red. "Mymy lady, I don''t... I can''t..." "Shush. You''re a great maid and I could use an attendant like you. Besides, we are honeycake buddies now, remember? We battled the delishyas kingdom together, you and I. There is no way the Cornelives house will come between us!" I say, once more standing on tippy-toe to reach up and pat Tie''sha on the head again one last time. "Now MY maid, go and get me some shoes." "Yes, my lady!" Some time later, I find myself walking into a market-place in the city square where numerous people have set up boothes and are shouting out their wares noisily. Many people are about. It''s no Tokyo, but it gives me a pleasant feeling of warmth and life. Instead of a wretched hive of scum and villany, it''s a hodgepodge of interesting looking people. I have to restrain myself many times from going up to a random lady or man or ladyman and ask them what race they are. I mean, I saw a tall guy with blue skin and four arms being escorted by several gnomes with very big noses, for example. It goes without saying that there''s plenty of beast variants about aswell, but I''ve yet to see any elves or dwarves. Eldritch races? I managed to escape the clutches of the Cornelives house by promising to return later to receive the reward, but for now I want to find Grom and get an update on the situation. After all... we were attacked last night. I''m sure the Cornelives house reported it. Tie''sha said that butlerman went to the adventurers guild earlier, so maybe I will bump into him? Dodging around a wolf-beastman, I spot something of interest. It is... it is a stand selling candy apples! Soon though, my smile turns upside down, morphing into a frown as I remember that I do not in fact possess enough currency to procure a candy apple. Ah, the tragedy that has befallen me! Buy my new book, the Woeful lamentations of a broke corpse-loli, vol.1 out now on the world wide interwebs. I''m going to go milk Grom for some money and then--- that sounded so wrong... I''m going to ask Grom for money, alright!? Alyce-chan is just a girl in the springtime of her youth, with a predilection for eating peoples faces and crushing skeleton boners, nothing more nothing less, you know? I am definitely not a harlot, okay? Goddamn it! In the marketplace, I spot a conspicuous group of people bulldozing their way through the crowd like they own the place, a ragtaggedy roughshod adventurers party if ever I saw one. They''re all carrying weapons and wearing leather armor or robes. They look exactly like a stereotypical adventuring party with le frontline fighter, a mage, healer, rogue and archer. Perhaps I don''t even have to ask some strange man for directions. I can just follow these adventurers that are walking down the street clearing the way before them with their mere presence. My heart is indigent due to the lack of a candy apple in my hand, but that shall be remedied in due time. Following the adventurers party down a couple of streets, I can''t help but smile. They are clearing the way magnificently and making progress swift and efficient. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. At least up until the point where their rearguard rogue turns around on her heels with a dagger in her hand and glares at me. "Oi, girl! Why are you following us? This be no place fer such well-dressed noble dandies. Where''s your escort?" The girl snaps. My mouth opens into an o... not because of her words, but because this small cute person has cat ears and even whiskers, freckles and a button nose! "No mam, as you can see, I''m a girl. I thought only boys could be dandies? And I''m not a trap, you know?" I say, cocking my head to one side. The cat rogue frowns. "I''m going to the adventurers guild and assumed you were heading there, so I followed." I continue. The cat person is still frowning, grasping a dagger in their hand. Behind her, a woman in a blue robe pirouettes around with a smile on her face and up ahead the frontline fighter, a guy with a sword and buckler, starts laughing. "Oi, josh. The hell are you laughing at man?" The cat person says, face rapidly reddening. That voice. Perhaps... The blue robed woman places a placating hand on cat-sama''s head. "Now now Klorta. Didn''t we already tell you not to go shouting at people. You only got what you deserved." The woman says, and at that, Klorta the cat snorts then looks over at me. "Just... just because I look like this, ye call me a girl? I''ll have you know I''m a splendid man with perfectly working equipment, so-" Then he was slapped on the head by the robed woman. "What do you think you''re saying to a little girl Klorta." The woman says. Ah, such a splendid tsukkomi! I am envious. I want her to slap me too... can I ask her? Hmm. Maybe that would be too awkward. I hope I can count on Grom later. And no, not in that way, okay? Goddamn it! Ohoho, as expected of a trap. It makes sense that you are the REAR guard. I say. The adventurers party just stares at me with blank eyes, so I cough a few times and press the reset button. "Ahen. You''re going to the adventurers guild right?" I ask, trying to draw the focus back onto what is truly important. In other words, my quest to obtain currency from Grom by very definitely not harlotty means and using said money to buy myself a good ol'' candy apple or 10. "Yes, we''re turning in a completed request." The robed woman replies. "We''re strong, you know?" Klorta says, puffing out his chest. It''s indeed flat, but so is mine. That''s why... the washboard is not necessarily an indication of his gender, but still... It''s hard to believe that he is a he. Ah, were my suspicions indeed correct? Could it be? A trap?! A real life Admiral Ackbar trap!? "I see, you''re strong adventurers." I say, nodding to them and smiling. Klorta stands on his toes to try and make himself taller, which is kind of funny. Children will be children after all, fufufu. "Yeah! We''re strong! Right guys?" Klorta says, striking a comically confident pose. They respond with a collective shrug and I walk with them the rest of the way to the guild. On the way there, I learn that in addition to Klorta the rogue, the frontline fighters name is Josh. Klorta being a trap could mean that Josh is his gay lover, but let''s not speculate on that too much since it''s not night-time yet. The robed woman is Yvrette and her classes are Sorceress and Alchemist, an interesting combination. I really wish I knew more about classes in this world. In this case, my ignorance is not bliss, but agony! In this weird, interesting world there must be thousands of different and unique classes... and Alyce-chan used to be a gamer, you know? It kind of ignites my gamer spirit a little, knowing that there are so many levels to be had out there, so many classes to discover... and I guess dungeons to clear? Surely there are dungeons, right? What kind of game world doesn''t even have dungeons? It''s simply unacceptable, so I won''t even entertain the possibility that this world is devoid of dungeons, okay? Goddamn it! "What''s got you so worked up girl?" Klorta says. The trap is still pretending to be an idol of masculinity. It''s kind of endearing. "Nn. I was just thinking about dungeons." I reply and Klorta smirks in response. "We just came from one! There was a request for Gritweed, which grows on the third level of the dungeon. You have to be atleast level 30 to go against the mobs there, and we are even stronger than that!" "Eeh, so you''re weak?" I reply before I can stop myself. Klorta''s eyes widen and his mouth opens, his cheeks flushing red with anger. But just then someone shouts behind us to get out of the way. Since we''re on the doorstep of the guild, we enter as the last two. As the sign hanging outside the door clearly says, this is the adventurers guild and the inside of the building also bears this out. Outside inside out, living la vida loca. There are men and women of various races drinking at the tables and request boards and receptionists, most of whom are women as I expected, but I do see a few guys here and there. I let out a sigh. "Why does it have to be so clich?" I say to no one in particular. Klorta doesn''t reply, but instead leaves me for his companions. They''re talking to a male receptionist and turning over a bag presumably filled with this Gritweed or whatever. I mentally thank them for leading me here, but now it''s time for todays main quest. I scan the room but unfortunately I can''t find Grom anywhere. As a Dwarf, he should be sitting in a dark corner drinking ale and swearing, yet he is nowhere to be found! Then again, Grom is a very oversized dwarf, a very bigly big dwarf, so perhaps his alcoholic tendencies are also strangely inverted. Although I will be a bit disappointed if I can''t use alcohol to make him more prone to swearing in my presence. Ah, I want him to swear at me and slap me... I''m definitely not weird, you know? Eyes follow me as I make my way to one of the receptionists. A friendly woman greets me with a smile exuding professionalism. "Hello my lady, here to put up a request?" She says, already pulling out a paper to write on as though she already made up her mind. "No. Well, in a manner of speaking." I reply. Receptionist-san cocks her head sideways. "I''m looking for an adventurer named Grom. He should''ve come in last night." At that, the womans eyebrows rise. "You''re looking for that guy?" she says, and I nod. "The Cornelives house already sent someone and they''re currently speaking with the guild master. Are you from another house? Lindenberg perhaps? Though you don''t look like the type to be bringing messages, and it doesn''t look like you have any letters on you little girl." I reach up to the counter, grab the edge of it, and hoist myself up so that I can look the woman in the eyes. "Now listen here. I may be a little girl, but just because I''m a little girl, it doesn''t mean you should assume that I''m just a little girl, alright?" I say, looking the receptionist in the eyes and trying my serious face. I can feel the twitch-twitch of my eyebrow, but it''s less than before, so maybe my deadpan serious face is improving. Maybe I should try out my pokerface in one of those cardgames the drunken adventurers are playing, though I don''t have any money to gamble with... I quickly hurry on before I end up writing another volume of the Death-loli''s woeful lamentations about brokedom. Receptionist-san is frozen for a few seconds before she bursts out laughing. "Ah, I''m sorry. You''re looking for Grom the adventurer, but he is currently busy with the guild master, so come back later, alright little girl?" The receptionist says, her tone condecending. Oh dear. She is smiling, but I can see that she is looking down on me, both physically and mentally. I suppose there is a definite drawback to this body... I didn''t truly realize it because of Grom and Tie''sha. I guess I was pretty lucky to meet people like them instead of this stuck up bitch. She is barely fit for snacking on, but perhaps I shall make an exception. I am getting hungry, you know? I feel my lips tug into a vague smile as I stare at the receptionist lady. I won''t let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Alyce-chan is not so shallow, you know? She is a magnanimously magnificent master of ma...mastery. Huh? What?! Why are you looking at me like that?!?! The receptionist takes a step back and eyes me warily. That''s when I realize I''ve just been staring at her with a slightly creepy smile for awhile now. Thankfully, it seems Yvrette has noticed my plight and is coming over, Klorta trailing behind her like a dog on an invisible leash. He truly is dedicated to his position at the rear. What''s up? Yvrette asks, her tone light, a diplomatic smile on her plump lips which Alyce-chan is definitely not jealous of. Ah, she... this child asked for an adventurer named Grom, but he''s currently with the guild master so I told her to come back later. The receptionist explained. Yvrette, it''s okay. I say. So, miss receptionist, what''s your name? Tilly, my lady. She says. I nod. Excellent. Now Tilly, I''m Alyce and I know Grom personally. In fact we travelled together and experienced the Lich first hand, he and I. I explain. Tilly''s mouth opens, then closes. It seems she didn''t expect that. I must truly look like a noble lady, although perhaps I also stand out due to my cute oni horns and my pointy ears, yay! So, where''s his office? I ask, employing a strategy of forcefulness. It seems to be quite effective as Tilly has begun squirming and looking uncertain behind the desk. It seems my damage over time attack is working. We-well... They''ve been up there for a long time now, so I think if my lady waits just a little while longer then they will come down. Tilly says. With a sigh, I look over at Yvrette, who nods in response. Very well, but I''m going up there if the wait is too long, okay? I say, turning my back to Tilly and going over to Yvrette. Out the corner of my eye I can see Tilly with a rude expression as she sighs in relief at my departure. Hmpf, I''m also happy to be rid of you, rude woman! Come and sit with us, uhm.. Lady Alyce? Yvrette says. You don''t have to call me lady, just Alyce will do. And I''m sorry but I don''t have any money right now. That''s quite okay, we''ll order you a drink if you tell us more about... you know. Yvrette says, lowering her voice conspiratorially. I raise my eyebrows. Oh, so the friendly mage woman''s ulterior motive has finally come to light! She wishes to mercilessly extract information by exploiting a poor, helpless child! I say, sending a playful smirk Yvrettes way. At my outburst, several adventurers turn to look at us, a few glaring at Yvrette. Seeing her uncomfortable expression... Pfahaha. It''s okay. I don''t mind being exploited a bit as long as you make sure to feed me something delicious, okay? Yvrette just nods, quickening her pace. I follow her to a corner of the room where the rest of her party is chilling out, maxing and relaxing all cool, but they are not shooting some b-ball outside of the school. How unfortunate. They buy me a pink fizzy drink that tastes very sweet. It seems to be quite expensive, but Yvrette''s pleading eyes begs me to accept it. Tis'' an excellent bribe, lady mage. I say, puffing out my chest and putting on imperious airs. It shall do for now. So what is it you wish to know? The conversation proceeds smoothly and I talk about boner-kun and my adventures. Only in vague terms of course, since I cannot truly trust these people with the juicy details of my first time. Despite the fact that I may be slightly, just slightly! Clumsy sometimes, I''m not an idiot with no sense of self-preservation okay? Goddamn it! So that''s why I just tell them some general information to appease them, while sipping on my sugary pink fizzler drink and waiting for Grom to show his ugly mug. Well, actually I don''t know his mug at all, since it''s covered by a truly magnificent beard. It''s almost like a seperate creature that attaches itself to the faces of young male dwarves to live with them in a symbiotic relationship. Now that I think about it... that makes a frightening amount of sense! After all, such a beard-monster could feast off of the food that Grom would inevitably end up dropping into it when he eats stuff. I''m surprised such a creature hasn''t evolved on earth. It''s... perfect!? So why hasn''t it evolved on earth, huh!? Hmm. Maybe it''s just so good at camouflaging itself as an ordinary beard that nobody has noticed it yet. Ah... Truly, life is filled with mystery. Next time Alyce-chan spots a guy with a huge beard, she will watch carefully to see if the beard has gained sentience, you know? Some time later, the back door opens and Grom enters. He is quite big and wide, so he has trouble fitting in through the tight back door. However, with a grunt, he manages to squeeze himself inside. Following after Grom is the Butlerman and behind Sebastian is a tall, broad-shouldered barbarian wearing an apron that looks eerily like a loincloth on the hugely muscled Conan-man. I jump up on the table, spilling a few drinks with a clink, but that is of no concern. If my feet get soaked in beer, then so be it! I wave vigorously. Hey Grom! I yell at the top of my lungs. He turns his head my way, his eyes widening in surprise as does Butlermans two face-socketed light-receptacles. Grom raises a meaty hand and waves back at me while frowning, looking puzzled as if I''m somehow out of place. I cup both my hands around my mouth and lean forward. Maybe it''s my imagination, but hasn''t it gotten a bit quiet in here? Nevermind that. So Grom, your beard is high level, right? Has it gained sentience yet?! I shout, but unfortunately, the spilled beer on the table makes my foot slip. I watch in slow-motion as my legs fly out from under me and my face approaches the floor. Why... I put more attribute points into dexterity for that purpose, so I should be elegant... why am I not elegant?! Goddamn it! My face meets the wooden floor with a crack and unfortunately wood-chan was penetrated by my oni-horns. And double unfortunately, my cute oni horns are actually bery stronk, so now my head is stuck in the floor and I am upside down flailing my legs frantically. I''ve already given up on preserving my maidenly modesty since I can feel my skirt hoolahooping around my neck, leaving my thighs and panties exposed in a most unladylike manner. Let me just repeat this to make sure. I am definitely not a harlot, alright?! To the tune of much boistrous laughter and hooting and smashing of mugs on tables, I am extricated from the ground by two big meaty hands. When Grom turns me around and puts me back down, I suddenly feel dizzy and stumble forward right into his beard. Coughing a bit, I push myself away and look up to find Grom looking down at me with a wide smile. How are ye, lassy? He asks, trying to sound serious despite the fact that he has a huge dumb smile on his face. Ptah, ptuh. How do you think I am, you square-shaped block of meat? I nearly ate your beard, you know? I almost feel like a cat hacking up a hairball. I say, spitting out the last few hairs in my mouth and wiping drool from my mouth. So, how is it? Does it taste sentient? Grom asks, still smiling like an idiot. A huge wave of laughter erupts, and there are a few whistles as well. Oi, you''re catcalling a 10 year old girl, you know? Police officer, it''s that guy over there. No, it tastes like hair. You keep beard-san surprisingly clean. Of course I do. A beard is a dwarf''s pride! Grom exclaims. Being an oversized dwarf and saying that your beard is your pride although men usually refer to another thing as their pride. Your race is called dwarf despite your body being oversized... Grom, do you want a woman to come to the wrong conclusion? Ahen. How is beard-san supposed to feed if you keep it so clean that it doesn''t even have any breadcrumbs to munch on? Poor beard-san starved to death before he could even gain sentience. I say, stroking Groms beard sympathetically a few times before stepping back and bowing deeply, holding one hand over my chest. My condolences. I say, my tone of voice grave and serious. There is a slight pause, but then with a sigh, I feel a hand gently slapping me on top of my head. A powerful feeling of euphoria courses through me and I straighten up immediately, a huge grin on my face. My... my fangs are showing and my long ghoul tongue is threatening to make itself known. Tehehe, gyuuh! Alyce-chan is happy! Grom just shrugs his shoulders. Are you two quite finished with your strange ritual? Sebastian inquires. My my, why so serious, butlerman? Are the news of boner-kun really so grave? I guess the situation is kind of serious, considering what happened last night. What a dangerous boner, trying to abduct people in the middle of the night with roofies. How dare you roofie my precious Tie''sha? I will snap you in two, boner-kun! Yes, I believe we''re finished. I say. So how did it go, did they keep you long? I ask Grom. He grunts a reply, and his frown returns. Aye lass. It took bloody ages. All I wanted was a good mug o'' ale and yet that bald apron-wearing exhibitionist kept asking me questions and denying me ale! Grom says. Your outrage is indeed understandable. How dare he deny you ale, the scoundrel. I say. Grom nods his head. Aye, the bastard. I swear on me nan Alyce. One day I''ll get so strong that I can drink ale whenever and where-ever I fecking please. I tip an invisible hat to Grom and bow. I hear you. I reply, and Groms expression relaxes a bit as he looks around. His eyes narrow slightly when he notices the huge crowd of adventurers all quietly staring at us like creeps at a fare. Oi, what''s up with those wide eyes. We''re not a circus show, you know? I look over at Yvrette and co. who has been suspiciously silent since the arrival of my faithful meatball. Seeing that their paralysis persists, I simply nod to them in thanks for their fizzy pink tribute to the overloli. Maybe I will see them later, but for now, Alyce-chan shall aim for greener pastures. I motion for Grom to follow me and walk confidently out of the adventurers guild. Without tripping, yay! Although a few people still catcall and hoot, but I look like a 10 year old girl, you know? Why are you catcalling a 10 year old girl?! Anyway, Grom being the good guy that he is, follows me outside, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. Ah, I hadn''t realized how stifled I felt back there. Grom says, looking up at the sky. So, what''ll ye do now Alyce? I really need to get meself an ale. Grom says. While we are standing there, butlerman emerges from the Adventurers guild aswell. What excellent timing, Sebas. Hey butlerman. There will be another celebration tonight, right? I ask, and he throws me a shallow bow. That is correct, Lady Alyce. The Cornelives house wishes to present you with a reward, so please do attend. Sebas says. I shall, however so shall my faithful block of hairy meat. I say. Grom suddenly looks uncertain. I dunno lass, fancy parties ain''t me thing. Grom replies. But surely, the Cornelives house will be able to furnish my favorite dwarf with an adequate supply of high quality ale, yes? I say, a faint smile playing across my face as I glance from Sebas to Grom and back. Butlerman bows again. Yes, my lady. I will see to the arrangements myself. Now if you will excuse me. Sebas says, nodding at us before hurrying off. He must have many things to do. Ah, the life of a butlerman sure is hectic. Grom lets out a heavy sigh. I don''t have a choice, do I? Smiling up at him, I reply. Nope! Chapter 13 - My Dwarf-san cant be this shy, and becoming an adventurer Grom is an incorrigible delinquent and insisted that he needed to moisten his throat with an alcoholic beverage or two, so I struck a deal with him. In exchange for buying me candy apples, I would allow him to go drinking. Alyce-chan is good at the art of the deal, right? So it came to pass that I''m standing before the candy apple seller holding several delicious looking, bright red, sugar-glazed candy apples in my small hands. Since I''m grasping sticks, I get a weird flashback to the melty jellies on sticks, but this time, Alyce-chan is going to consume people food, not people as food, you know? Fufufu, call me gourmet Alyce, connoisseur extraoirdinaire! Pioneer of the secret cooking technique called Pillar of flame. Hohoho! I wonder why the Master Chef class isn''t available to me. It''s surely just System-chan being tsundere, right? Not that I would ever pick chef as my class, but it''s truly strange how it hasn''t appeared yet. Perhaps to unlock the Master Chef class, Gordon Ramsay needs to appear and shout ''''where''s the lamb sauce?'''' at me, and I need to reply ''''there''s the lamb sauce!!!'''' Alyce-chan is puzzled. Ye happy with those, lass? Grom asks and I nod. He''s still holding his money pouch and gazing back and forth, but I can''t realistically carry any more candy apples. Although I can make them float with telekinesis, I decide to not be greedy. Yes, this should suffice for now. I reply, and Grom puts away his money-pouch with a sigh. By the way, money pouch is not a euphemism. Right. Time to uphold your end of the bargain. Grom says and I nod in response. Lead the way then. I reply, and Grom frowns at me. You should head back to that fancy place and leave a dwarf to his drink, lass. You won''t fool me so easily Grom. If I leave you now, there''s no way you''ll attend the party tonight, right? I say, and Grom sighs but confirms my suspicions with a reluctant nod. In the end, I manage to convince him to take me along. We get a few weird stares as we enter a rather disreputable establishment full of mead guzzling brawlers. It''s just mid-day, but there are already drunk people getting into fights. If you want to have knuckles for lunch, please go right ahead, just don''t bother me. It''s no problem for us though, since Grom''s massive frame discourages any rabid dogs that would approach in search of a knuckle-sandwitch. I wonder what would happen if I train my manipulation of sand a lot... If I became able to manipulate sand like Gaara in Naruto as my third class, would that class be called Sand Witch?! Oh mein gott! I don''t want to read my status screen and see, Alyce sand witch. Please spare me from the Alyce-chan Sand witch! We make our way to a corner of the tavern and conquer a table for two, Grom ordering a large pint of pitch-black ale with foam on top. I don''t order anything because I am content with my candy apples. Actually, I have to fight to contain my drool. Before I even notice it, it''s already running from the side of my mouth and dripping onto the table like a water tap that you haven''t closed proplerly. Drip drip drip. What an unsightly woman I am, but alas, this matters not when I have candy apples. It''s good that we''re hidden away in a dark corner, just like I prefer, fufufu. But I''m definitely not a creep, okay? Goddamn it! Grom sips his ale contentedly, a bit of foam getting in his beard. Perhaps beard-san will finally acquire the sustenance needed to gain sentience or perhaps that is just my wishful thinking... Grom''s lazy smile as he drinks is enough encouragement for me as well. His eyes went far away and he''s in his own world enjoying his beverage and chilling. It is time for Alyce-chan to enter her own world as well. Putting four of my five candy apples aside for later, I grab my first victim and raise it to my trembling lips. Drool overflows, but that doesn''t matter. A low growl escapes my throat and I engage this oversized old-school lollypop. Running my tongue across the surface of the candy apple, a sweet and sour taste explodes in my mouth. It''s so good! Candyapple-chama instantly gains my stamp of approval with it''s amazing taste. My throat makes another weird noise because I am enjoying it so much, but that is irrelevant. My long, prehensile tongue moves on its own, wrapping itself around the candy apple several times like a boa constrictor enveloping its prey. By the way, Boa Constrictor is not a euphemism either, alright? My tongue moves and squeezes, licks and tastes all around the candy apple. It might be a slightly grotesque sight, but I''m sure no one will notice it since we are sitting in a dark corner away from the plebeian mead-brawlers intent on grinding their unarmed combat skill. It is only after about 30 seconds of supreme candyapple-chama enjoyment that I realize Grom is staring at me with wide eyes. Oh... I quickly retract my tongue back into my mouth like Jar jar binks, but I''m still smiling because of the glorious aftertaste of the candy apple. Wiping drool from my mouth with one of my sleeves, I look up at Grom. What''s up dog? You... that tongue, those movements... That ain''t right... I''ve seen something I cannae unsee. Grom says, his eyes still wide. Oh come now Grom old chap, you''ve known since we first met that I was a ghoul, an undead abomination spurned by the god of light! Wahaha, praise your overloli of death-- Ahen. I say. I''m trying to say it quietly so I don''t accidentally aggro the mead-brawler mobs in the tavern instance. I''m sure that they don''t drop any good loot, and they give you the sweaty man and acidic barf debuffs, so aggroing them is definitely not worth it. Not by a long shot. No, I mean yes, I know you''re an undead ghoul, but... that tongue and the way it... Grom replies. It seems he is deeply shocked. I just look at him with a question in my eyes, because I truly don''t get it. Grom seems to shake himself from a stupor, quickly reaching for his mug of Ale. The way yer tongue moved... Grom whispers under his breath. That ain''t no way for a little girl''s tongue to be movin''. Grom says, coughing once before aggressively taking a huge gulp of his ale. He glug glugs his ale a bit too vigorously and I start worrying. What on earth is wrong with Grom? My frown deepens, but I don''t ask Grom again. I have no idea what has gotten into his head, but perhaps he remembered our first meeting when I was still in tattered, rotten pieces. It probably offended his sensibilities. Maybe he was just thinking to himself that it was good he hadn''t ordered any food, lest he vomit it back up. It''s a bit sad that Grom thinks I''m so repulsive, but I guess it can''t be helped. Nevertheless, Grom''s dislike of the way I eat candy apples is no obstacle for me. If the hairy old goat can''t take it, then he shouldn''t have bought me these lovely candy apples! Ufufu. Slowly, my tongue slithers out from between my lips like a snake stalking its pray, and I bring the candy apple back up to my mouth. Grom hurriedly looks away, which just confirms how much he finds my way of eating disgusting. I''m sorry I''m such a rotten woman, okay? I can''t help that I''m a corpse monster, you know? Even if Grom ends up becoming super repulsed by me, I proceed to eat my candy apples using my tongue to thoroughly taste the outer layer before eating the apple itself. As I serenely eat my candy apples, I see that Grom is speeding up his drink guzzlin''. He keeps ordering more and more ale, and he wont look at me no matter what. He averts his gaze like a frightened little girl... What a whimp, he can''t even look at me when I''m in my beastly monster mode! Tehehe. I guess I overestimated you, Grom. But I will forgive you this once, because you bought me these delicious candy apples. With this, we''re even, okay? So man up and look at me! I''m your table companion, goddamn it! In the end, no matter how hard I tried, Grom kept averting his gaze from me. I bent this way and that while licking the candy apples, but Grom would always turn his head away from me and take a deep drink of his ale. What a strange thing. I really don''t get it. Tehehe, Gyuuh~ My, my... aren''t you lucky that I''m done eating Candy apples now. I say. Grom finally looks this way, so I quickly grab the last candy apple and lick it before he can turn his eyes away again. By the seven blacksmiths! Grom yells, looking away and slamming his now empty mug of ale down into the table. I chuckle underneath my breath as I finish up the last candy apple. Okay, I''m really done eating them now. I say. Grom is reluctant to look my way. It''s a scenario similar to the boy who cried wolf, so I let out a sigh. Anyway, I wanted to ask you about something. You still remember what you said back in the Lintball forest? You promised to answer my questions. I say, and Grom finally mans up and looks at me. I smile to show him that I''m just a cute little corpse-loli, not a horrible ghoulish monster. He clears his throat, but his eyes narrow and his brow furrows. It seems he''s steeled his resolve to face me HEADON, apply directly to the forehead. Aye, I do remember. Ask away lassy. I''m no librarian, but I do know a thing or two. I proceed to ask Grom about trait and talent points. He''s very surprised when I tell him that I have talent and trait points I want to spend. So I tell him that I leveled up when the boners attacked and tried to roofie-abduct my precious Tie''sha. Grom tells me that talent points are very important, and that they can be used to boost your fundamental power. From what I can gather, they''re equivalent to the monsters trait points, and what talents you have access to is determined by your classes. I get both talent and trait points when I level up... so could it perhaps be that I am overpowered? Fufufu... no seriously, am I really going to become overpowered? If so that''s great news. No matter how romantic it is to mudwrestle with low level minions as you struggle up the ranking ladder, wouldn''t you prefer an escalator and some snacks on the side instead? In any case, it seems that you go to one of those rooms Grom mentioned back in Lintball, and use those rooms to pick your talent points. Since I was able to allocate my attribute points without going to such a room, I wonder if I can just do it right here. I hold off on that idea for now though. I only have 3 talent points and 3 trait points. It''s no time to be messing around and experimenting. Besides, I kind of want to go and see this infamous room and it would serve as a great cover for me. After all, ghoulish monsters don''t go to those rooms to set their attribute points and stuff, right? Rising to my feet, I look over at Grom with a smile. I wanna go right now. I''ve got points to spend, you know? I say. Grom waves at me to go. I can tell he is still inexplicably shaken by the candy apple incident, but I cross my arms over my chest. Grom, if you don''t guide me there, I''m going to have to get more candy apples and eat them in front of you, okay? Goddamn it! I say, stomping the ground. I''m making a bit of noise, but this time I''m doing it on purpose to aggro the tavern mobs. If I aggro them, then Grom has no choice but to guide me. Fufufu, I''m a great evil mastermind, aren''t I? You can praise me more, you know? No one can match my evil manipulative genius mind, alright? So we end up back at the adventurers guild a few hours after we left. The sky is beginning to glow with pretty red, orange and pink colours and it looks like it''s on fire almost. Nightfall will soon be upon us and I have to go to the party. I bet Tie''sha is nervous, and butlerman could be panicking too, fretting about whether or not I will make it. Ufufu, what an enjoyable thought. I enter the guild behind Grom and look around. It seems the population of ruffians hanging around in the guild hall has decreased significantly. If I had to guess, they''ve relocated to taverns such as the one Grom and I just came from. Suits me fine, since I don''t feel like fighting my way through a crowd of sweaty men to get to where I need to go. I spot the rude lady receptionist from before. Unfortunately, she is the only one here so I have no choice but to walk up to her. Hello again Tilly. I say, keeping my expression neutral. I''m trying really hard, so I can feel my face working to stay neutral. It almost feels like my left eye is twitch-twiching, but that can''t be right since I practiced my pokerface a lot. Surely it has skilled up, right? Still, Tilly''s face goes pale when I approach with Grom in tow. I wonder why. I tried very hard to make my face neutral and relaxed, okay? Goddamn it! My.. my lady, how nice to see you again. Tilly says. The bullshit is strong with this one. She definiteny doesn''t like me. What bring you back here so quickly? Tilly asks. I place my hands on the reception desk and look up at her. I want to go to the room. I say, trying to keep my voice flat and emotionless. I don''t want any unnecessary friction, so I''m trying hard to activate the diplomacy skill. Bathroom? Grom asks, his voice loud and bellowing. I quickly twirl around and glare up at him. I don''t. You should know me well enough by now to not insinuate such things. I say, still glaring up at Grom, my face slightly red. The bearded beast merely chuckles as if it''s no big deal to joke with a lady''s dignity and I''m of half a mind to punch him, not that that would do much, but still... Payback. Grom whispers neath his breath, and I frown. I slowly raise my right hand and fold my hand into a fist. Puffing out my cheeks like a child, I punch Grom in the chest. Just when my fist is about to make contact with Grom, I realize that he is wearing his golden breastplate thingie, but it''s too late for me to stop. With a loud thwong~ my fist impacts his breastplate. There''s also a wet crunch as pain shoots up my arm. Pulling back my hand to ascertain the damage, I realize it''s only a broken pinkie, but it''s still annoying. I look up at Grom, who has a horrified expression on his face. Sticking out my tongue with a bweeh~ I turn my back on Grom and face Tilly again. I grab my broken pinkie and squeeze it to set it right, then activate flesh manipulation to knit it together. The blue room, you know? I say, deciding to ignore what just happened. Not because it''s embarrasing or anything. Definitely not, alright?! Tilly nods, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. She quickly points me in the right direction, and I set forth on my quest to finally solve another part of the system-chan puzzle.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. Unfortunately, when I am halfway there, I remember that you need an adventurers plate to use the device in the blue room... and I haven''t become an adventurer yet. I take a deep breath and clench my fists, but I''ve got no choice but to go back. Extremely uncool! Walking back to Tilly and Grom, who just look at me with blank expressions, I grumble to myself underneath my breath. Goddamn it, I wanted to become an adventurer in the proper way. There should be a group of ruffians, and I beat them up. Then the guild master comes down and is like oya, oya what a strong one, I haven''t seen your face before, are you from another adventurers guild? And I tell him I''m not even an adventurer, and he is like oh we can''t have that, then I get a special and awesome induction to the ranks of the adventurers and meet a novice party of adventurers that take me to a dungeon out of mercy, but they get in trouble because they''re noobs and I save them and they praise me. Then when we return to the guild, they tell the receptionist about the request, but some people don''t believe it and my party gets angry on my behalf and I have to beat up some more people and the guild master calls me to his office and... Bump, I walk into Grom. I look up at him with a frown. Ouch, watch where you''re going. I tell Grom, but I''m already at the desk. Grom looks like he is going to fart, his face going red, but instead of farting, he lets out a massively huge bellowing laugh. Bwahaha, oh lass. I never get tired o'' ye, mad little bugger you. Grom says, poking me with a finger like I''m some sort of strange animal. How rude! I ignore him for now and face Tilly. I can register as an adventurer, right? I ask. Tilly shakes herself from a stupor and nods absentmindedly. It should be possible, yes. There are two ways. You can go to the blue room and have your status read and printed, then you can apply for up to D-rank, but to become C-rank you need to pass certain tests to prove you can do adventuring stuff and that you''re not just a muscle-head. That''s the way I recommend for most people. Tilly says. So you''re saying I have to fill out a form to get the D?! Where''s the romance! I say, shaking my fist in the air. Two blank faced stares greet me, but I ignore them. I''m used to being underappreciated. Come to think of it, I haven''t asked about the structure of the adventurers guild yet, but I imagine it''s something clich like usual. Therefore I press forward despite my ignorance. What''s the second way? Tilly clears her throat. The second way starts you out at the bottom rank and you work your way up by completing requests and commisions. 95% of people that use this method do so because of the Adventurers academy. Cocking my head to one side, I reply. Oh, that''s interesting. There''s an adventurers academy? Like a school or university? I ask. Not quite. The main focus is to teach potential adventurers how to fight, and how to successfully complete requests. You also learn how to read and write, and study the weaknesses of various monsters. It all culminates in a written and practical exam with grades and everything. Based on your grade, you can skip some ranks when you become an adventurer using the second method. It''s primarily for unruly noble children with delusions of grandeur. Tilly says with a frown. Oh dear, it seems someone has a bone to pick. I don''t have to go to this academy if I use the second way, right? I ask just to be sure, and Tilly confirms with a nod. Good, then please register me using the second method. Quickly! I want to go to the blue room... I say. Tilly lets out a short sigh but nods in the affirmative. Very well, here''s an empty copper plate. You can fill it in the blue room, since you''re going there anyway. Now, the 10 silver processing fee please. Tilly says. Before I can react, Grom flicks a thump of silver to Tilly and I look from him over to the receptionist lady and back several times. By the way, a thump of silver is a fat silver coin, and it''s worth ten normal silver coins. People call it a thump because of the satisfying sound it makes when you slam it down on the table. Grom takes the copper plate and hands it to me. Let''s go lass. Grom says and looks back at Tilly. I''ll take it from here, I know what to do. Grom says. Sighing in relief because I can finally escape from the receptionist woman''s judgemental glare, I follow Grom''s huge meaty frame to the other side of the adventurers guild and into the blue room. Yaah, blue room-chan, how lovely you are! I get it now, why they call it the blue room. There are several crystals in the room all pulsing with blue light and it makes me feel comfortable because it reminds me of the light from my monitor back on earth. Back when I was in a prominent raiding guild in WoW, people always used to joke that I was tanned by my monitor and that my eyes were square-shaped, but they''re definitely not, okay? Goddamn it! Ahen. Anyway, I follow Grom over to one of the blue crystal formations. 8 Crystals surround a transparent, glowing plate that fits with the size of my adventurer''s ID. Here''s where ye register yer adventuring data like yer rank and stuff. Ye come here to change it when new stuff''s available, like after ye have completed nough missions to rise ta the next level. Grom explains and I nod in response. Okay, so how can I make it only display the basics? I don''t want it to show my race as undead. Well lass, ye have multiple options there. Ye can pick demon or high-elf, or combine them. Just because the option is available, it doesn''t mean ye haf ta show it. Now place yer plate there. Grom says and I proceed. The blue light intensifies as my plate is placed into the table socket fit for its size, and a strange faint buzz fills the room. It sort of reminds me of the background hum of a hyperdrive engine and it''s kind of cool. Soon, the blue light licks at my copper plate and that is not a euphemism, okay? Goddamn it. The blue light shines on my copper plate and letters start appearing. Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell F Rank Title: (Chosen title = N/A) Age: 10 Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Level: 37 Class: High-Warlock & Fire Witch Highest stat: Int 2nd highest stat: Cons When the blue light fades to reveal what was written on my copper plate, I frown. It''s clear that this needs some adjustments. As I had suspected, it put my race as undead. Rude bastard! I thought we were friends blue room-chan... how could you betray me like that. You inferior display! You''re less graphically advanced than the pop-ups in my vision! Hah, I should''ve expected as much from a lowly creature such as you, tablet bastard. Hmpf. Thankfully, only Grom is here, so it''s fine for my tablet-chan to misbehave a bit. Grom was staring at my adventurer plate with a frown on his face. Why does it say yer second highest stat is constitution lassy? He asks, perplexed. I shrug. Because it is. I gain quite a bit of it every time I level up, so it''s natural. Actually, it''s threatening to become my highest stat, you know? Grom''s eyes widen slightly. Just how high is it?! I know your int isn''t normal, that is evident from how powerful yer spells are. I quickly check my stats to confirm the numbers. I''ve got 466 constitution. Grom''s face goes blank for a moment, but then he shakes himself. You''re a monster... I keep forgetting. But with this kind of constitution, ye be a monster in a different sense of the word. How rude! Anyway, I choose to ignore Groms badmouthing because I want to quickly adjust my copper plate so it isn''t so revealing. The bad tablet-chan has to be punished, yes yes. A right good old spanking for tablet-chan is in order. Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell F Rank Title: Lady of Ravens. Age: 10 Race: Demon blooded High-elf. Level: 37 Class: Fire Witch Highest stat: Int 2nd highest stat: Cons There! That seems good. Fire witch is still a conspicuous class, but now I''m glad I didn''t pick necromancer, otherwise I''d have no option but to stand out even more. Fufufu, Alyce-chan is a tactical genius after all. With a proud smile of triumph on my face, I grin up at Grom and show him my modified copper plate. Look at the greatness! The grand deception! I say, proudly puffing out my chest and standing on tippy toes to shove the plate in his face. Aye lassy, it''ll do. Grom replies, pushing the plate away. It''ll do!? Just that? I worked hard to make it look cool! You should praise me more, you dirty dog! I yell, shaking my fist at Grom. That''s when I notice that a young adventurer is standing in the doorway, his eyes wide as saucers and his mouth half-open. When he notices my gaze, he quickly retreats and I can hear running footsteps in the hallway outside. Coughing a few times, I press the reset button so that everything is okay, then I move on to the other crystal formation which I assume is for the stat priorities and talents. Like before, there are eight crystal pillars set up in a formation around a translucent blue surface. This one is slightly slanted and looks a bit like a sci-fi console on a spaceship. There are only two buttons. The top says priorities and the bottom one says talents. I definitely have enough talent for the bottom button, so I touch it with the tip of my finger and the blue lights flash, showing some writing. 3 Talent points available. Display available talents list? Y/N. The two buttons change to yes and no, so I click yes to display the list. Many many options pop up, and I note the most interesting in my mind. [Demonic Embrace: Your summoned demons gain 10% of your max HP as extra life.] [Preparation: Able to store spells for later instant cast use. Can store one additional spell every 200 int. Stored spells reserve double their mana cost in your MP pool until released or cast by preparation.] [Ghostly Wildfire: Your flames burn with a strange haunting intensity, flickering unpredictably to deal more damage.] [Master summoner: Your summoned creatures receive an additional stat increase based on the summoners int stat. 10% of int added to summoned creature''s overall stats.] Ghostly wildfire sounds awesome, but the other three seem to be really good considering my skills as summoner, and preparation is a really cool concept. With it, I can store up huge spells and cast them all at once for amazing burst DPS. The downside is that it reserves double the mana cost for the spells, reducing my overall MP pool. However, that is a small price to pay for that kind of instant cast goodness. It''s like the WoW mage''s Presence of Mind talent on steroids, and reminds me of the negima manga when negi learns to store spells and cast them one after the other in glorious pwnage. One day, I want to store many huge amazing spells in preparation and blow everything up! That would be so fun, fufufu. And when they ask if that was my trump card, I will keep revealing another and another and another until they are left flabbergasted at my amazing awesomeness. But that is still a ways off. I have to learn some big flashy spells in the future... It''s a bit sad that the console doesn''t show my traits, but I was half expecting it. I shrug and move on, picking Master summoner, Preparation and Demonic Embrace. I also want Ghostly wildfire, but alas we have to make hard choices sometimes.
Ping! You''ve gained the talent: Master Summoner
Ping! You''ve gained the talent: Preparation
Ping! You''ve gained the talent: Demonic Embrace
Excellent! Now I just need to assign the trait points that I have, and I''ll be well on my way to becoming a great adventurer. I remember the party at the Cornelives house tonight and decide to quickly get it over with so I can return there and hopefully eat more of their honeycakes. Or perhaps they have other delicious specialties I''ve yet to sample!? Of course they do, fufufu, what a great plan. I will eat them out of house and home and mansion and castle, yay! I turn away from the console and close my eyes. I''ve become pretty adept at navigating my character screen mentally, so it''s no biggie for me to pull up the traits since I''ve already seen how the talents were pulled up. I just imitate that feeling, but for my more monstrous traits instead. Again, a huge list appears and I note down the most interesting. There are even more here than in the talent section... and I only have 3 points to spend. Such a shame. [Blood frenzy: The more health points you lose, the higher your melee damage becomes. Resets awhile after you''ve regained full health.] [Sharpened claws: Your Ghoul claws cut like the sharpest of blades.] [Firebrand: The firey blood of the demonic race flows strongly in your veins. +7% fire affinity -11% water affinity. Tempered by high-elven blood.] [Demon monarch''s killing intent: Lesser beings shiver in fear when they stand before the true ruler of demons] [Habeas Corpus: Your unholy undead presence seeps deeply into your flesh, increasing your overall co-ordination and control and making you feel more at home in your undead body] Of course I pick Habeas Corpus as soon as I see it. After all, it says I can increase my co-ordination, which should mean that it will make me more elegant. It will, right?! It definitely will, alright!? Deus vult! God wills it! And I am god, so it''s fine. Fufufu. Next, I pick Firebrand. Although the water penalties are starting to stack up, I am a fire witch so more fire affinity is very delicious. For my last pick, I hover between the killing intent and blood frenzy. I''m not really sure what killing intent does, and blood frenzy is melee oriented. Still, since I''ve got a huge healthpool which will only grow in time, blood frenzy might be an interesting choice, especially compared with something indefinite like killing intent. It''s a tough choice because killing intent sounds so cool, but on the other hand, blood frenzy isn''t half-bad either. In the end, I pick blood frenzy and hope I can still pick killing intent later on. I don''t open my eyes to let Grom know I''m done. Instead, I open my status screen so that I can get an overview of all my abilities.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Witch of the burning horizon Psionic Scion
Monster Rank: E++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 37
Character Status
Health: 5000 Mana: 21132 Stamina: 2906 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 53 Intelligence: 610 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 37 Wisdom: 146 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 466 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -15% Earth: 10% Fire: 40% Air: 10%
Poison: 100% Curse: 99%
Talents
Master Summoner 10% of your int added to the overall stats of your summons
Preparation Can store spells for instant use later. Gains an additional spell storage slot every 200 int. Twice the spells cost rerserved in MP
Demonic Embrace Summoned demons gain 10% of your max HP as extra life.
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception but 100m max.
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Habeas corpus (Undead) Your unholy undead presence seeps deeply into your flesh, increasing your overall co-ordination and control and making you feel more at home in your undead body
Firebrand (Demon) +7% fire affinity -11% water affinity.
Blood Frenzy (Ghoul) The more health points you lose, the higher your melee damage becomes.
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 4 Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Sense 3 The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 5 The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 6 An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Telepathy 1 An advanced magic skill that allows the user to send thoughts to those near her. Innate unique skill. Level up to establish mental links for two-way communication.
Death Energy Manipulation 4 The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Fire manipulation 4 The ability to freely manipulate the element of fire.
Dark Energy Manipulation 2 The ability to control the mysterious dark energy. The power of the void, a high warlocks specialty.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Summon Rare Fire Elemental 2 (Active) Summon a rare fire elemental to immolate your adversaries.
Darkbolt 2(Active) Gather a heavy mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Fireball 1(Active) Gather a ball of fire and hurl it at your enemies. Explodes on impact.
Conflagrate 3(Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Blast Wave 1(Active) Fire erupts from your body in a circular shockwave, burning enemies and buying you time.
Fire wall 6(Active) Create a wall of fire to prevent your enemies from fleeing as you burn them to ash.
Blazing Barrier 1(Active) A barrier of fire, reducing incoming damage. Burns whatever comes into contact with it.
Death Energy Absorption 3 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 2(Active) Curse your enemies, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 2(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock since death is also your domain.
Fire Enchantment 1(Active) The Witch imbues something with fire, increasing the damage it deals.
I want to hurry up and dive into some dungeons, slay some monsters and level up a lot. But I also want to eat delicious things at the Cornelives mansion, so adventuring can wait a day or two. Oh, and there''s also the annoying boner-kun that keeps harassing me. I wish he would just leave me alone. Can''t a woman eat in peace for once? Boner boner go away... okay? Goddamn it! Chapter 14 – Tonight, boners are strictly forbidden. Grom said he had to take a dump, so I left him back at the tavern. Of course, I briefly considered whether that was a ploy to escape from me, but Grom couldn''t fool me that easily. Going to take a dump is definitely legit. After all, Grom has been suffering from diarrhea lately. Perhaps he ate some berries back in the Lintball forest and has been struggling ever since. Yup, it makes sense. I am definitely not wrong about this, just like I wasn''t wrong about the beach incident, okay? Goddamn it! When I arrive at the Cornelives mansion-estate-castle thingie, I find a tight-faced Sebastian waiting for me. He quickly brings me into the Ren-kun wing, leading me up to my temporary quarters. Then a wild Tie''sha appears with a bunch of clothes and a cute blush on her face. She enthusiastically helps me don an elegant white dress with crimson frills and silver trim. She also does my hair up in twin-tails at my request, because a loli has to occasionally go for twintails. How... how can I call myself a loli if I haven''t been in twin-tails mode at least once, huh? As for shoes, they thankfully spare me from wearing high-heels and I am instead brought some elegant ankle-boot type shoes the same white color as the dress, but with red shoe-laces. They look quite stylish and modern in fashion, how weird. Waiting for Tie''sha to return with some ear-rings, I go to the bathroom and twirl myself around before the mirror. I must say that If I wasn''t me, I would fall in love with me because I am so cute, but narcissism is definitely not good, so I pinch my cheeks and slap myself infront of the mirror a few times and make a few strange uguu sounds. Of course when I turn around, I find Tie''sha staring at me. Wh-what is it? Anything wrong, huh?! I ask, whirling to face her. Not at all, my lady. Tie''sha says with a little smirk. Just when I am about to go and wipe that smirk off her face with a nugi-nugi attack, she brings forth the glittering ruby ear-rings. These... I''m liberating the ruby-chan twins from the evil clutches of the Cornelives house for sure! They are so adorable, awawa. Tie''sha expertly fits me with the double ruby-chan combo and I grin up at her and wink. My.. my lady looks quite good. Tie''sha says, clearing her throat. I know, but let''s save that for later. I have to go endure the award ceremony. I say, and Tie''sha looks puzzled for a moment before she smiles. So you don''t know what they''re giving you? Tie''sha asks. I shake my head. Well, let''s just say that word''s been getting around about you wanting to become an adventurer. Tie''sha said. Then suddenly, her eyes light up and she lunges at me, trying to suffocate me with her boobs in a tight hug. Thank you so much for saving me! I... don''t really know what happened because of the drug, but Sebas said you were amazing and for that old goat to say that, you must''ve really impressed him. During Tie''sha''s monologue I struggle for air, squashed as I am between two soft pillows. Her boobs aren''t large, but she''s hugging me so tightly in her iron boob vice that a normal human would suffocate. Perhaps she''s trying to knock me out so she can play with my body... but no, she wouldn''t do that, right? I think I tested whether or not she was hiding a secret lesbianism in her closet, but didn''t I decide that she was fine? I don''t remember because the honey cakes were so delicious! Gah, do I really have to perform the lesbioid test again? Tie''sha grabs my hand. Come on, my lady. They''re actually waiting for us in the hall below. There are less guests, most of them are from the Cornelives house, but a few nobles wanted to thank you personally aswell. She said, dragging me along like a child. Look forward to the rewards, I''m sure you''ll like them. I hope one of the rewards is you. I don''t really care if they give me money or whatever. I say, and Tie''sha suddenly freezes, causing me to walk into her. Tie''sha stumbles over her maid-skirt and trips in the corridor. Exuding HNNNG power, I entrust my new ability of Habeas corpus with my elegance so I don''t trip and fall. Unfortunately, my face is currently approaching the fallen Tie''sha''s butt. No good! Habeas Corpus-chan, why didn''t you fulfill your promise and make me elegant! I don''t want to eat ass. That was all the thoughts I had time for before my face buried itself in Tie''sha''s posterior. Thankfully, it is my cute Tie''sha''s butt and not some old hairy man''s butt. Yaaah! Tie''sha shouted, and I quickly removed myself from her lavender scented nether-region. By the way, I definitely did not deliberately sniff her, okay? Goddamn it! Still, my future maid takes good care of herself. Yes, I tripped deliberately to test her, you know? Fufufu, I fooled you there. You thought I was inelegant and clumsy, but in fact I am an amazingly talented woman skilled at subterfuge and stealthily sniff- I mean testing my servants to make sure they are worthy, yes. Sitting up, I try to hide my super hot and no doubt bright red face in my hands, but it seems Tie''sha can see through my hands, because she is giggling like a little girl. I... I got a bit angry at her laughing at me because I am definitely not inelegant! So I subdued her by using Nugi-nugi on her ears. I wasn''t satisfied until she was squirming on the ground holding her crotch as tears streamed from her eyes. My.. lady, stop, I''ll pee! And... stop! I say. After all, it would be problematic if she peed herself. I quickly grab her hips and lift her up. Although she is bigger than me, I am a super-loli so I can easily lift her and set her on her feet. Second time''s the charm, apparently. There there. I say, patting her back a few times. Good as new. Now let us go to the award ceremony. We have to hurry since your weirdness has delayed us, maybe making us late. We can''t stay in this corridor forever, you know? I say, walking ahead of a bright red Tie''sha desperately wiping at her eyes. Perhaps... I overdid the nugi-nugi a little bit, but she laughed at me. Don''t you know that it''s rude to laugh at a little girl? Even though I''m already nearly 34 years old, but let''s not take that into account, alright? I''m definitely not an old hag, okay? Goddamn it! As we walk the rest of the way down the corridors, the stairs and into the main party area, Tie''sha is strangely clingy and quiet, holding on to my arm and walking with me like a man would escort a lady by holding her arm. This... she''s not got a weapon under there, right? Pfft, Alyce-chan what are you thinking. I had enough boner-kun last time I tried to eat honeycakes. No need to jinx this evening with such thoughts. But still, the mystery... I look over at Tie''sha, but all I see is a cute teenage mutant ninja servant. The gathering of nobles is small, and I am very thankful for that. Please spare me from the grotesque animal stage performance of last time! I prayed, and they heard my prayers. Tie''sha escorts me up to Ren-kun and his parents. They are waiting and each holding a bag. Ren-kun is holding a small bag, the mother is holding a medium sized bag and the father is holding a large bag. This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. What''s this, some sort of fairy tale? The three bags?! Somehow, that sounds more like a gang of old rogue prostitutes. Why couldn''t they just have one bag to rule them all, one bag to find them, one bag to bring them all and in the bagness hide them! My treasures, I mean. Lady Alyce. For your service to the Cornelives house, we present you with three gifts! Sebastian announces, using his Sebas cool japanese guy announcer voice that makes me think I am part of a movie or something. First, the fatherlord steps forward and presents me with his bigly big bag. Lady Alyce, please accept this humble gift from me. We heard you wanted to be an adventurer, so we prepared this for you. I take the huge bag from the Cornelives fatherlord, and notice that it has some heft to it. Awkwardly and with everybody watching, I open the bag and fish out my first gift. My eyes widen a little as I see the leather, then a grin spreads across my face and I look over at the fatherlord and wag my eyebrows at him. I didn''t know you were into BDSM! I exclaim. The fatherlord looks at me confused, but it''s good that he doesn''t understand my joke. I am selfish, but that''s okay you know? Anyway, I pull at the leather and a strange looking thing emerges from the bag. It''s actually an outfit made of black leather, but it has a skirt and boots and gloves. The leather is connected by stylish black frilly silk and I have to admit it is kind of awesome looking. I hadn''t thought about the gothic lolita look, but now it is inevitable! There''s even a black cloak with hood and long sleeves for when I want to look like a sith lord. Just with the leather-outfit alone, I would look like a cool punk-rocker kind of girl, not the mention the cool robe for when I want to be mysterious and cool. It is a great gift. Alyce-chan is kind of happy. Perhaps my happiness is showing, because the fatherlord has a smug look on his face as he gazes from his wife to his son and over at me. Is... is this some sort of competition!? Ah, it doesn''t matter. This leather outfit is cool I have to admit, though I hadn''t even thought about becoming a hardcore BDSM loli, it''s always good to have more options in the future, right? Let''s ask Tie''sha later. Ahen. Thank you! It''s great! I''m sure it''ll be very useful in the dungeon. I say dungeon whilst wagging my eyebrows at the fatherlord and again he looks a bit confused. Poor joke-chan, always lost on these otherworlders. Wait, I am the otherworlder... I forgot! Tehehe. Next, waifu-sama steps forward and presents me with her medium sized body pillow, I mean bag. When I open it, I hear the jingle bell! It''s jewelry. Ear-rings! Lots and lots of ear-rings and a bunch of gold and silver coins. With this, I could buy a whole mountain of honey cakes, fufufu. My eyes widen, and I give the waifu a beaming smile. Thanks so much! I was gonna stea- I mean, ask to keep some of the ear-rings Tie''sha brought earlier. Whoops that was dangerous, I almost slipped. Thankfully, my super subterfuge skill kicked in and I evaded the crisis. Hey, come to think of it, why don''t I have the subterfuge skill, system-chan? Surely I have been using it for a long time now. It''s not like cooking, since I rarely cook, but I am always using my amazing sneaky spy skills, so why isn''t it a skill in my skillbook, huh? System-chan! Ahen. Now Ren-kun steps forward. He is blushing cutely. The little shota presents me with his small bag, and that is not an innuendo, okay? Goddamn it! I unpack it to reveal a long, black............. case. It sort of reminds me of the cases that they use in harry potter to store their wands. You know, when you go to Ollivander and get your wand-chan? Anyway, I hope JK doesn''t sue me for thought crimes because I thought it resembled the Harry potter wand case. Hmm. Now I''m kind of curious what''s inside it... It couldn''t possibly be... a wand!? Cracking open the lid, I look up at Ren-kun and back down at the opened case. This... is...haha. I say. Ren-kun looks startled and his eyes are wide and glistening like he''s about to cry. Oh dear me, I don''t want to make a shota cry. Don''t you know that''s a crime against humanity!? I hurriedly pick up the WAND from the case. Yup. It''s a fricking wand, and an awesome looking one at that. It''s slender and made of light-brown wood with a beautiful grain pattern, but the tip of the wand is a small red orb. It looks cute, a bit like a lollypop on a really long stick or a miniature candy apple. Ah, I want to eat candy apples again sometime... Come to think of it, Grom is way late. It couldn''t be that he ditched me?! Taking a dump was just an excuse to get away from me and drink at a tavern?! That hairy old goat, I will punish him later! Ahen. As I pick it up, a prompt pings my mind and I nearly drop it because of the unexpected system-chan attack. But of course, Alyce-chan is amazing so she doesn''t faint at just this much. Hah, system-chan, you''ll have to do better than that if you want to subdue the great me! Fufufu.
Ping! You''ve picked up The incinerator, rare wand. +10 intelligence, +10 wisdom, +5% more fire damage with spells. Fire spells you cast cost 2 less mana per spell.
Holding it betwixt my small delicate fingers, it fits nicely. And it has a cool name! The incinerator! Fyahaha, watch out boner-kun, I will roast you slowly over a roaring log fire for dinner, then finish the dish off with my ultimate super secret pillar of fire cooking technique, you know? It''s awesome! I exclaim, jumping up with joy and smiling brightly at Ren-kun. His wide, about-to-cry eyes quickly stop their shenanigans and he returns my smile. Thanks a lot, it''s so cool. Now I feel like a real witch adventurer! I say, making sure to look at Ren and beam him a special Alyce-chan smile. Ren-kun looks like he is about to explode with happiness. Oi, don''t cry from happiness you little brat! He..hey, this doesn''t count as making a little shota cry, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, the fatherlord approaches and bows formally. Thank you for saving my family, Lady Alyce. Truly, I don''t know what I would''ve done if... The fatherlord shakes his head. Ah but no, that didn''t happen thanks to you. He looks genuinely happy as he grabs my hand, shaking it quite vigorously. My whole body is going owowo like a wave from his handshake. I bet if I had boobs they would jiggle mightily. Maybe I should try the owowo handshake technique with Tie''sha later to confirm my hypothesis. Although she doesn''t have particularly large lady lungs they should be of a sufficient size to test whether or not the owowo handshake is effective. After the owowo, the fatherlord clapped his hands with a loud, reverberating bang. Now, let''s feast! He shouted rather loudly, and suddenly servants poured from everywhere like an army. There was so much food on the silver platters they carried that I lost track of it all. But I spotted honeycakes and various other snacks, so my grin from receiving the gifts did not go away. Instead... a bit of drool came out. Before I could drool all over myself, a hand appeared and dabbed at my face with a cyan serviette. There we go. Tie''sha said. Just where does she keep all those cyan serviettes!? Th-thanks. I say, and Tie''sha laughs quietly. My lady, you''re drooling so much it''s obvious to everyone... I... I can''t help it, you know? After all, there were honeycakes on that platter over there! I say. At that, Tie''sha also perks up and her animal ears twitch in a cute fashion. Fufufu, you''re so easy to read. Perhaps... we should check it out, you know, to make sure that they didn''t bring oatmeal raisin cookies instead. I think we should go to make sure that the chef did his job properly. Tie''sha said. As expected of my honeycake comrade! Yes, I think you''re right. Perhaps the delishyas kingdom needs our help again. We must check to make sure. I say with a nod. With that, the two of us set off towards the servant who was holding the platter of honeycakes. We quickly raided the platter from him and brought it to a table. There are mostly just Cornelives nobles here, so we immediately dig into the honeycakes. There is not much to say... The delishyas kingdom had grown even more powerful since last time, so we fought valiantly and I got very sticky. Tie''sha also got kind of sticky, but her special ninja maid skills allowed her to somehow wipe herself clean and then do me too. I kind of lost myself after that... Tie''sha looked stuffed, but I was far from done. There were so many different platters of food and snacks here. So I ate a lot. Too much for a normal human, but since it was the Cornelives house, I didn''t worry too much about my cover being blown. I ate many different kinds of cheese, like cartoonish swiss cheese with many big holes in it, and various green, blue moldy ones aswell as more light buttery ones, but the brie with fruit was my favorite. Tie''sha looked at me oddly when I ate a whole wheel of brie in front of her. Perhaps I shouldn''t have done it while staring unblinkingly at Tie''sha. Atleast I wasn''t eating a banana that way, but in Tie''sha''s case it should be a peach or something, but there were no peaches either. Her eyes only grew wider as I continued to consume fruit, cheese, snacks, candy and other dishes and washing it down with different delicious drinks both exotic and mundane. I felt like the protagonist of a shounen manga. Truthfully, I had a great time even if Grom dumped me for ale, and half of it was because I had my trusty Tie''sha by my side. I will have her even if I must take her by force, you know? It is definitely not psychopathic, okay? Goddamn it! So yeah, everything was going great until I accidentally drank the wine thinking that it was just funny tasting juice. Wine is technically made from fruit, right? So I wasn''t wrong... but it was wine. The real problem was that Tie''sha also drank the wine alongside me, glug glugging it down skillfully. Her display would''ve made any competitive drinker proud, but she was no match for me.
Ping! You''ve resisted level 3 intoxication from Omondr Wine
Of course I didn''t get drunk, which was a relief. Tie''sha on the other hand... her eyes started to swim and she looked a bit goofy, her cheeks flushed and her body was kind of rag-dolly as she flopped about, giggling madly. Soon after that, I commandeered her floppy body using my extremely awesome super-loli strength and carried her to my room like the amazingly considerate loli that I am. An older servant woman attacked me halfway to my room, trying to steal my Tie''sha, but I didn''t let her, so she went away grumbling about misbehaving maids, but she was the one misbehaving. How dare she try to take my Tie''sha. She''s mine, you know? Mine! Anyway, I half walk, half carry Tie''sha to my room and deposit her on my huge bed. She is mumbling something incoherent but I just ignore her and carefully take my ear-rings off, then I free my hair so it''s no longer in the loli-twintails style. I can''t resist doing a quick L''oreal hair commercial pose and mouthing that I am worth it, but after that I remove the boots and dress and jump into the bed, burying myself in the soft and lovely sheets of the huge bed-chan with a sigh. Even though I made sure to jump into the side opposite Tie''sha... there is movement on the bed. A drunk animal-eared maid approaches! Prepare for battle! Alyce-chan uses nugi-nugi attack, it''s super effective! Drunk animal-eared maid faints. Chapter 15 - ????????! I wake to a loud thwong thwong sound. The earth is shaking. It''s a mighty bell making a lot of noise. Frowning, I look for Tie''sha only to discover that she is sweatily plastered to me, her face buried in my armpit like some sort of pervert. Tie''sha''s eyes are open but they look kind of dazed, like she isn''t really registering what is happening. So Tie''sha, does my armpit smell good? I ask with an innocent face. Tie''sha''s face slowly grows bright red and then she throws herself away from me with an embarrassed squeal. Soon enough she emerges from the bedsheets looking a bit woozy. Head... hurts. She mumbles. Then you shouldn''t drink so much. I retort. You drank too. Tie''sha said. This sullen Tie''sha is cute as well, even if her spirit is somewhat deflated. Argh fucking bell, shut up! Tie''sha shouts. With a grunt of anger, she rolls out of bed and puts her shoes on, stomping her way to the door with an annoyed look on her face as she grumbles about loud noises. Why is she cursing?! Is she trying to make me fall in love with her? Alyce-chan is ss...straight, you know? Is she? The mystery!? Ahen. Just when my Tie''sha is about to reach the door, it flies open and an armed guard is there. I''m about to blast his head off, but notice the Cornelives livery draped over his gleaming knight armour so I relent. Phew, that guard has no idea how close he came to becoming my breakfast. We''re under attack, the undead are everywhere, we have to evacuate! the guard shouts, motioning us to follow him. Getting up from the bed, I take my time getting dressed. Go away guard, I will handle this. Tie''sha you must stay with me, okay? I say. Both of them look at me in confusion as I pull on my boots and quickly equip the ear-rings from last night aswell. The black leather feels great on my skin, so I am thankful for the gift. It really does look a bit emo though, like something a goth or punk rocker would wear back in my old world. Along with my white hair, it makes me look so cool, all I need now is copious amounts of black mascara, eyeshadow, a whip and some chains. There''s a frown on the guards face, but Tie''sha merely looks confused and in pain. My poor Tie''sha, I wish I could heal your headache, but I''m a wretched undead with no access to healing magic. System-chan is not even showing my bandage skill in the status window, you know? That''s how poor my healing skills are... I think I know exactly who''s attacking. The bloody bastard has been nothing but trouble since I first ran into him during the lintball expedition. I say as I open the wand-case and pick up my incinerator. Next, I grab the bag full of jewelry and money because there is no way I am leaving without my ear-rings and access to money. Money is important because it can do magical things like give me candy apples. When I''m done, I''m pleased to find that the tin can guard is gone and only Tie''sha is waiting for me. Lady Alyce, you know who''s attacking? Tie''sha says, the fog from her hangover seems to have mostly faded, but she''s still slightly pale and doesn''t look so hot. I want to slowly nurse her back to full power with thick, nutritious soup. Yeah, it''s an annoying Elder Lich or something, maybe arch-lich... I think that''s what Grom called it, can''t remember. Speaking of Grom, I''m slightly worried about the hairy traitor so I think I will go look for him. He is an important underling who will serve me well in the future. I can''t have him dying here already. I say and walk past Tie''sha and out the door. My... my lady! Tie''sha shouts, running up behind me. I turn to her. What... what should I do... She says with tears in her eyes. I pat her head. It''s going to be alright. I will take care of you. I won''t let any ugly old skeleton touch you, so don''t worry about a thing. I say. Un. Tie''sha says with a nod, wiping the tears from her eyes. Follower, GET! You know what they say. The path to world domination begins with a single animal-eared maid. My enthusiasm slowly boils over as I walk out of the Cornelives mansion and see a whole lot of guards forming a perimeter around some nobles. It looks annoying, so I quickly grab Tie''sha and enter the shadows so they don''t see us. We make our way around the guards and I hear them shouting that they can''t wait any longer. Then they slowly start to move. Ren-kun and his parents are there, so it looks like they will be fine. Truthfully, when the chips are down all I really care about is Grom and Tie''sha, but I do hope Ren will be fine as well. It will be a shame for such a cute shota to die. When we sneak out of the gate, my eyes widen because the scene looks like something out of a movie. Fire is everywhere and it looks like half the town is ablaze at this point. There is an odd darkness in the sky. It feels like death mana, so I quickly check my status. It seems I am on full power even though it''s day time. It must be that lich bastards doing, since he and his minions are undead too. Anyway, I am a fire witch, so a few flames is nothing to me. Tie''sha however, is kind of afraid. I comfort her as I lead her along the still intact streets. It feels like I am diving through a great flaming labyrinth. Distant screams and metallic clashing sounds attest to the fact that battle is under way, but there aren''t any civillians around. I am kind of impressed at the evacuation speed, I just hope that Grom hasn''t been evacuated. That would ruin my search and rescue plan and it''s rude to ruin a woman''s plans, you know? When I walk into the market from a side alley, I notice that there are skeletons with torches walking around like patrolling NPC''s. There''s also a squad of boners with weapons standing in formation. It is almost like a game encounter. Behind me, Tie''sha whimpers quietly and shrinks back. My... my lady, we should run. She says quietly. I narrow my eyes at them, but they don''t give me an especially strong impression. Tonight, we dine in hell! I shout, raising my wand and firing off consecutive Conflagrates. The first line of skeletons in the formation explodes, and traces of my fire licks at the ground where they stood. The rattling of bones is deafening in my ears as the rest of them charge. Oops, Raven-chan, Zan, Elishmael come! I shout, summoning my minions one after the other. With this, it''s almost like I have a whole party with me. Tie''sha lets out a frightened shout when she sees my summons, she is especially afraid of Zan and Elishmael. My queen. My flame. Zan and Elishmael say. I acknowledge them with a nod and send them off towards the rest of the skeletons. I signal raven-chan to go look for Grom and off she goes. Come to think of it, I''m probably not helping the situation by setting fire to everything, so I switch to using darkbolts and take out the skeleton torchers one by one.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. I walk forward, gently swinging my wand as masses of darkness flow forth from me, exploding the skeletons when it hits them. In front of me, Zan and Elishmael is completely dominating the skeleton squad with a powerful double-team. The skeletons are so weak... I guess the lich is just using a big army of weak troops with a few elites for the important tasks. Though, considering my int stat, master summoner should buff my minions quite a bit aswell, since it gives them part of my int as a stat boost. Alyce... amazing... Tie''sha says behind me. I look back and smile at her. See, you don''t have to worry about a thing. We will be fine, okay? I say, keeping my tone gentle. Tie''sha nods. It seems like she''s keeping it together for now. When I''m nearly past the market, I get a signal from Raven-chan. Apparently, Grom is babysitting some newbie adventurers that got lost and they are on their own surrounded by fire and skeletons blocking their only way of escape. I''m sure Grom can take care of it, but I can''t leave his fate to chance. I motion for Tie''sha to quicken her pace, running to where they are. Where are we going! Isn''t that where the fighting is? I thought we were trying to escape. Tie''sha shouts. She is not thinking clearly because of the hangover and the panic. Of course we''re leaving, but first we have to go pick up Grom. I have to punish him for standing me up last night, even though he didn''t really have to come, but still! I say, but notice that I am drifting off. I was about to go on a tangent about how the butt is sacred and you shouldn''t use it as a mere excuse to not come to the honeycake party. Ahen. This is a serious situation, as evidenced by the fire prickling my skin, the unnaturally dark sky and the flaming, collapsing buildings and screams in the distance. That''s why Alyce, keep it together! Serious is serious. Yes. Focused as a deadly hawk, I quickly approach Grom''s position. Raven-chan has engaged the enemy as well, so they are holding out against the wave of skeletons for now. But their backs are against the wall... a burning wall, at that. Rounding a corner, I see an entire street jam-packed with rattling boners. They''re all streaming towards where Grom is, like a giant zombie horde. It couldn''t be... the lich holds a grudge?! I definitely can''t let him get his claws on Grom, so I lay into the skeletons and tell Zan and Elishmael to do the same. There must be at least a hundred skeletons all packed into this tiny alley. Mein gott Grom, just what did you do to aggro so many boners! I explode about 5 of them with each of my darkbolts because they are so close together, but because there are so many of them, it is taking a long time and the city is burning down all around me. If I don''t hurry, then Grom will be nothing but roasted meat when I reach him. Although that sounds kind of delicious, I can''t let it happen. I am saving him for later. After decimating half of the skeletons and moving closer, I can hear shouting. Ah, loud cursing! What a nostalgic sound. Although it really hasn''t been that long, but it is still a nice nostalgic sound for some reason. I let out an eerie laugh and behind me Tie''sha shuffles nervously. Although the wand looks cool, I put it away in my belt and start dual-casting Darkbolts. When the skeletons try to spread out, I yank them together with telekinesis and explode them with darkbolts, shattering their bones all over the place. It is a very effective strategy and Tie''sha gasps at the destruction. Shivering, she clings to my back as I advance through the skeletons. Then I see them. Grom is swinging a big half-broken axe mightily, and it looks like his beard is on fire. Behind him there''s a bunch of kids huddled together, being protected by Raven-chan. Heey, you bastard! I shout, and Grom looks over at me first with confusion, then a grin spreads on his face and he bellows out a huge laugh, redoubling his efforts with the axe and felling skeleton after skeleton with his furious swings. I don''t really have to do anything now since most of them are dead, so I walk forward and explode the last few skeletons in my path. The boner line soon crumbles from double penetra- I mean pincer maneuver, and I come face to face with Grom, who is patting at his beard and cursing under his breath. Aren''t ye a sight fer sore eyes! He says. Quick, we hafta get these kids out. Grom says. Looking over at them, I sigh. Do we have to? I ask, and Grom looks over at me with a stern expression. Yes Alyce. He says. Ah, that''s right. It''s a serious situation now, so I have to focus. Grom motions for the kids to follow. Well, I say kids but they are scraggly looking teenagers wearing a mish-mash of adventurer gear. Probably newbies or trainees or something. Most of them appear to be around 13 or 14 years old. Tie''sha, meet Grom. Grom, Tie''sha. I say, motioning from Grom to Tie''sha and back. Grom and the kids run up to me and we all start jogging back through the flaming streets, raven-chan guiding us like the expert GPS that she is. Ye really picked up a cutie there Alyce. Grom says as we''re jogging down a side-alley and coming up on a few skeleton torchers that look like they''re slacking off. Perhaps they think they''ve already won the battle for the city, and maybe they have, at that. She will be a great minion. I say as I fire off two darkbolts and explode the skeletons barring our path forward. I can see that Grom, Tie''sha and the kids are all sweating profusely and realize that it must be really hot for them here. Unfortunately I can''t do anything about it. I thought I was versatile with my spells, but there''s a lot of convenient magic out there, huh. The world is wide... Unlike this small, narrow, burning alley... It''s getting kind of claustrophobic in here. Flames are everywhere, Grom looks a bit drained. Tie''sha is staggering. It''s like we''re inside a great bonfire. I realize that the entire alley in front of us is blazing and behind us aswell, there is fire. Looking back, I see a red-haired boy supporting a black-haired girl. Shit... it''s a serious situation after all. I hoped it wouldn''t be... Goddamn fucking lich! If you think you can roast my Grom and my Tie''sha, you''re sorely mistaken! I reach for my wand and point it at the blazing flames in front of us. I''m a fire witch! I''ll show you bastards what that means! It means I control fire! I am fire! I shout, half-panicked because it''s becoming hard to deny reality. This is no joke. Serious situations are scary. Narrowing my eyes, I draw deeply on my remaining mana and focus on my fire manipulation. I will the flames to part, because I am a fire witch. Flames are mine too. They belong to me. This fire belongs to me. Yes, it does! It belongs to me. That''s why, BEND. Gritting my teeth, I force out even more of my mana and my head is getting kind of woozy and my vision is narrowing... but, before me, the fire is bending away from our path, flickering and weakening slightly. Just enough for us to pass through. Let''s go quick...ly. I say, my voice strained. I walk forward slowly, keeping my whole focus on fire manipulation and feeding it with my mana. The mana flows from me in thick, palpaple waves. At this rate I will run dry and faint, then the fire will eat my Grom and my Tie''sha and that is unacceptable. It is simply unacceptable. I don''t know what to do! For the first time since coming to this world, I feel my eyes growing wet with tears and I look back at my friends stuggling against the heat, sweltering and faltering and choking on the smoke. Please... I say in a quiet voice as they walk slowly towards me. Eyes... blood. Tie''sha says with a very hoarse voice. The edge of her maid-dress is on fire so I quickly put it out. She stumbles forward, but I won''t let her fall. I use telekinesis to stabilize her and she manages to regain her balance somehow. Swallowing a lump in my throat, I try to hide my shaking hands. I don''t have enough mana for this... we''re not out yet. We''re too far away... I can''t... Suddenly, Grom throws me something and I react by grabbing it out of the air. It''s a bottle. Inside the bottle is blue liquid. Since there''s no time to waste, I quickly pull the cork on the bottle and gulp it down. Potions... I feel my mana swirling. It isn''t much... but it''ll have to do. Steeling my resolve, I forge ahead through the flames, Grom carrying an unconscious kid and Tie''sha supporting another. The last two kids are supporting eachother and managing to advance aswell, but they are slow. Just when I think that I''ll run out of mana, I see the forest through a hole in a wall off in the distance. With singleminded devotion, I walk towards that hole in the wall. The others look like they''ve lost hope, so they probably can''t see this small hole in the wall. But I see it, our hope. After coming to this world, I''ve been joking around a lot, but even I have some things that I can''t lose. Just... a little longer... I say. My voice is so strained and I can barely see anything for the dark spots in my vision and the bloody tears that just had to come... I blink my eyes. I''m somehow already at the hole In the wall, but I don''t remember how I got there. Hurry, get them through. I say and step through the hole in the wall. Grom feeds the unconscious kids through the opening iin the wall and I receive them on the other side, laying them on the ground. Then I help Tie''sha through and lastly, there is Grom. Then it hits me. Grom is too big to fit through this hole in the wall. On shaky legs, I wobble over to the hole in the wall and reach my hand through. Come on, Grom. Come... on... I say, my hand trembling. He shakes his head, a sad and resigned expression on his face. You go on ahead lass, I''ll find another way out. He says. This bastard... he is smiling at me, slowly turning around. My hand can''t reach... NO! I scream, and mana explodes from my body. I WILL NOT ALLLOW IT! I shout. The hole in the wall starts crumbling, the edges falling away. Something dark is eating away at the hole. It''s... pure death energy. Entropy, decay. Screaming, I throw my entire being into this one task, eating the wall. Then everything goes black. Chapter 15.5 Ah... I had a strange dream. I dreamt that we were attacked by boner-kun and he destroyed the whole city in a massive fire. I killed a lot of skeletons and...
Ping! You''ve slain 113 skeleton minions of Lich Lord Lazarik.
Ping! You''ve slain 7 torchers of Lich Lord Lazarik
Congratulations! You''ve leveled up! X7
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
Ping! Summon rare fire elemental has leveled up.
Ping! Darkbolt has leveled up!
Ping! Conflagrate has leveled up!
Ping! +1 to dark energy manipulation.
Ping! Due to an extraordinary feat, your fire manipulation has leveled up x2
Ping! Congratulations! Due to a desperate action and the fear of loss, you''ve wielded death and entropy to further your goals in a most unnatural way. +2 to Death energy manipulation. New spell obtained: Death and decay. By your will, everything will rot, decay and die away. You''ve unlocked a new class: Death Witch
Oh.... It actually happened... shit, Grom!? Chapter 16 - I want to requiescat in pace. It felt like I had a dream, a horrible dream. The city was in flames and Grom was... but then there were stats as well. I don''t remember... I float in this state between dreaming and wakefulness for some time, dreading this dream of reality or whatever it is. From somewhere far away, I hear a voice. I focus on that voice. It is an unfamiliar voice, a childs voice. I strain myself, trying to listen in, trying to understand what they''re saying. It''s not like I''m an old hard-of-hearing Grandma but still, speak up will you!? And then she was like, I will not allow it! And the wall crumbled! It was amazing. A kid said. Somehow, it''s embarrasing, so I squirm around uncomfortably, not wanting to listen to that. She moved! Another kid called. Hurry, get the others! There were so many kids voices, but at least I know they made it out of there alive. I hear hurried footsteps running off, rustling in the distance. I carefully open my eyes and above me, I see the canopy of a tree and the sun peeking through the leaves. The earthy smell of ground and roots mingle with the fresh green smell of leaves, moss and trees. The idyllic scene lacks birdsong, but that is to be expected after what happened. Yes, it is slowly coming back to me. When I remember the part about Grom, my phantom heart stops for a moment before I remember... I don''t know for sure. But I tried. No... He must be alive, he simply must be. There''s no way he''s dead! I try to stand, but my legs are soft like jelly and quite uncooperative, so I have to lean against the tree, my whole body shaking and straining just to stay upright. What the hell is this? I quickly take a look at my status, only to find a status effect debuff called Mana exhaustion, which makes it impossible for me to regenerate mana for now. I have to wait for as long as it would take my mana pool to regenerate passively 10 times over. In other words, I have to wait several days while feeling like this... days without mana... it''s making me want to go all in wisdom for the MP regen... if that is the regen stat, perhaps the regen stat is spirit? Oi system-chan, where is my guide huh? You just expect me to figure everything out on my own? Well, I''m definitely a genius, very smart and beautiful, but it''s still a harsh condition you know? After some time, the sick feeling in my body recedes somewhat, and my muddled head becomes a bit clearer. Then I hear rustling of leaves and a couple of sprinting kids come into view over yonder ho. However, when they see me they freeze as if they''ve seen a ghost. Then behind them, a huge hairy meat pie appears and a smile spreads on my face. My eyes get all blurry and wet. No, no, this is no good Alyce. I hurriedly wipe at my face with a sleeve, but it comes away bloody like before. Bloody... bloody hell! Gyuuh. Through blurry eyes, I see Grom shoving the two stunned kids aside like a bowling ball toppling bowling pins as he comes charging at me. You hurt anywhere lass? He yells a bit loudly. I quietly shake my head and continue wiping at my eyes. It''s futile, the tears of blood keep coming. Don''t... look... I rasp out. My voice is shockingly dry, but it still sounds cute thanks to my godly vocal cords. Grom approaches very gently, as if I am a scared animal or something. Lass, ye haf ta tell me what''s wrong, or I cannae fix it. I know how ta heal people, but you... Grom looks like he''s on the verge of casting a spell on me, since his hands are glowing. It''s... it''s not that, you idiot! I shout, looking up at him for the first time. His brow is furrowed with worry. You! I shout, pointing a finger up at him while I''m wiping at my face with the other to get the last of the blood off. Who gave you permission to go die like that, huh? How dare you! You can''t die unless I give you permission, okay? Goddamn it! I shout, stamping a foot into the ground. Grom froze like a statue and I am ashamed to say this as a sofisticated woman of high culture, but I gave in to the dark side and threw myself at him, hugging him tightly. In my defense, I pretended to nuzzle into his shirt and beard, but it was in fact part of my ingenious plan to use him to wipe the blood from my face, you know? It definitely wasn''t because I almost lost my hairy meatpie, alright?! I was saving him for later, so it''s no good that he gets eaten early on. I will have to remind him sternly later, but for now... the dark side takes hold and I squeeze tighter and nuzzle deeper into his beard. It smells like smoke and sweat and scratches at my face in an almost pleasant wa--- I mean, it''s annoying, okay? Goddamn it! After I''ve been clamped onto Grom for awhile, I notice that it is very silent and nobody is speaking or moving. Slowly, I detach myself from him and step back, my face reddening slightly. Then through the bushes I see Tie''sha approaching. At first she''s just walking, but when she sees me, she speeds up her walk into a jog and the jog becomes a full sprint in no time. Then halfway here her eyes widen and she pulls out a cyan serviette, waving it in the air like a weapon as she comes running. My tears almost attack again, but seeing the prelude to the grandma technique approaching at a sprint, I dare not make the situation any worse lest she rub me too enthusiastically. My face, I mean! Contrary to my initial expectation, Tie''sha throws herself at me first and lifts me up, hugging me tightly into her boobs. They are nice and soft airbags and although small, they are genuine perky little lady lungs. Alyce-chan has internal lady lungs, okay? It''s weird for a loli to have boobs, alright? I had big boobs in my last life, so it''s okay to be flat as a washboard in this life, you know? There''s definitely nothing wrong with it, okay? Goddamn it! Flat is justice and don''t you forget it, hmpf. Who am I even talking to? It''s not like Tie''sha seems to mind my flat chest... in fact, isn''t she kind of groping... I push myself away from Tie''sha. How''re you holding up? I ask kind of awkwardly and Tie''sha blushes and looks a bit ashamed of her earlier impulsive behaviour. She''s been a bit grabby lately, hasn''t she? I.. I''m alright. My lungs feel a bit weird, but Grom cast some healing magic on us so we''re mostly okay. What about you, my lady? Are you really fine after crying blood and collapsing like that? Which reminds me... Tie''sha says, once more wielding her cyan serviette. With the spit and shine imminent, I sigh and tilt my face upwards like a child enduring her mothers unwanted ministrations, but in truth I am kind of happy that Tie''sha is here. I''m okay, it''s just mana exhaustion. It''ll take awhile for me to go back to normal. I say and give Tie''sha a reassuring smile. In the background, Grom asks When were you ever normal? which I naturally ignore. The very concept of normality is an affront to all that is good! Alyce-chan will never accept such a horrid fate as to be deemed normal, therefore, it''s okay if I never normalize and stabilize, for that way lies death. Although I am already dead, tehepero Ahen. Anyways, it was as I feared. The spit and shine is deployed on my face in all it''s rubby dubby glory... Oi, do you want to open an Alyce-chan buffing workshop with all that rubbing, huh? Tie''sha polishes away at me until my forehead makes a squeak squeak sound and I am spotlessly clean, though covered with a faint layer of teenage girl saliva. Endure! I must endure! If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. It would be no good to enter the enrage phase and nugi-nugi Tie''sha into submission right now. Besides, my body feels pretty sluggish and drained, so I''m not really sure I want to lift my hand to nugi-nugi. I want to lie down... but I am not lazy, alright? It''s only natural that I am tired, you know? After some hardcore girl on girl rubbing, I''m suddenly picked up. I can''t help but let out a little sound of surprise. I don''t resist it though, since I can feel the hairy beard on the back of my neck. Ah, beard-san has come to say hello. Perhaps beard-san finally managed to gain sentience and liberate himself from his slavemaster, the cruel dwarf-san?! I am kind of dazed at the moment, and my thoughts are all over the place. My vision bobs and sways as Grom carries me somewhere, the others following quietly behind. Is she really alright? It seemed like she went off into her own world... Tie''sha says in a quiet voice, but hey I can hear you, you know? The lass will be fine after some rest, she''s just exhausted. You might nae haf the experience te appreciate just how ridiculous what she did actually was. Grom said and my chest was suddenly all fluttery because I was being praised. Frankly, only Alyce could do something like that. There''s no one else like her. Grom says all too seriously and my face immediately grows warm. Stupid idiot overgrown midget giant dwarf thingie! Just because I am a bit dazed and don''t feel like speaking, it doesn''t mean you can go all out and embarrass me so much... I''m sure ye also noticed that she''s special. Grom continues. I wish he would shut up already. It''s super embarrassing, but ah, I really am too lazy to even open my eyes and glare at him, to say nothing of opening my mouth and spitting a sick diss track into his beard like I''m Kelly ripping MnM a new one. Later, I will eat many candy apples in front of him to make him uncomfortable, and I will be sure to nugi-nugi Tie''sha a lot as well. They are both implicit in the crime! Un. Alyce... my lady is special to me as well. I am so happy she''s up. For a moment there, I thought she was... Tie''sha says. Thankfully, we''ve reached the campfire now and I am placed on the ground near the campfire. Tie''sha sits down next to me, and Grom sits on my other side. You two... you are good minions even if you say such embarrassing things. Later, I might even make you generals in my demon army. I say. It''s exhausting to speak, and my voice is slurred, but I got it out. You... were awake? Grom says. I don''t reply and after awhile, he sighs and mumbles Sleep talking? to himself. I smile mischievously. I will take revenge by torturing you! You will never know the true nature of what happened, whether or not I really sleep talked or actually heard your embarrasing words, and it shall forever torment you and corrupt your soul! Then I will break you and reforge you into the perfect minion! Wahahaha, evil Alyce mode activate! Ahen. I''m really too exhausted, limp as a noodle and as drained as a man after a night with his vacuum cleaner...?! I think I will rest some more now. My stupid brain is being too embarrassing again. However, before I can do so I must take a look at the fruits of my labour, yes.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Witch of the burning horizon Psionic Scion
Monster Rank: E++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 44
Character Status
Health: 6050 Mana: 21132 Stamina: 2906 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 53 Intelligence: 610 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 37 Wisdom: 146 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 571 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Poison: 100% Curse: 99%
Talents
Master Summoner 10% of your int added to the overall stats of your summons
Preparation Can store spells for instant use later. Gains an additional spell storage slot every 200 int. Twice the spells cost reserved in MP
Demonic Embrace Summoned demons gain 10% of your max HP as extra life.
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception but 100m max.
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Habeas corpus (Undead) Your unholy undead presence seeps deeply into your flesh, increasing your overall co-ordination and control and making you feel more at home in your undead body
Firebrand (Demon) +7% fire affinity -11% water affinity.
Blood Frenzy (Ghoul) The more health points you lose, the higher your melee damage becomes.
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 4 Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Sense 3 The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 5 The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 6 An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Telepathy 1 An advanced magic skill that allows the user to send thoughts to those near her. Innate unique skill. Level up to establish mental links for two-way communication.
Death Energy Manipulation 6 The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Fire manipulation 6 The ability to freely manipulate the element of fire.
Dark Energy Manipulation 3 The ability to control the mysterious dark energy. The power of the void, a high warlocks specialty.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 3 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Summon Rare Fire Elemental 3 (Active) Summon a rare fire elemental to immolate your adversaries.
Darkbolt 3(Active) Gather a heavy mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Fireball 1(Active) Gather a ball of fire and hurl it at your enemies. Explodes on impact.
Conflagrate 4(Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Blast Wave 1(Active) Fire erupts from your body in a circular shockwave, burning enemies and buying you time.
Fire wall 6(Active) Create a wall of fire to prevent your enemies from fleeing as you burn them to ash.
Blazing Barrier 1(Active) A barrier of fire, reducing incoming damage. Burns whatever comes into contact with it.
Death Energy Absorption 3 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 2(Active) Curse your enemies, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 2(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock since death is also your domain.
Fire Enchantment 1(Active) The Witch imbues something with fire, increasing the damage it deals.
Death and Decay 1 (Active) By your will, everything will rot, decay and die away.
Alyce-chan is coming along nicely, you know? I''m well on my way to becoming a boss ass bitch. Soon, the last boss position shall be mine! Fuhaha, you can praise me more, I will allow it just this once, okay? Goddamn it! Chapter 17 - Something embarrasing and exploring a cave. I open my eyes, at first thinking that I am back home at my parents house and that our family dog is being naughty and licking my feet. Molly would often do that on those lazy sunday afternoons when I was still in bed reading and drinking hot cocoa. But I am not at home, you know? And I am not my old self. Right now I am a freshly baked Alyce-chan on an adventure in another world, seemingly locked in a struggle with an angry boner trying to kill me and my friends... So why on earth does it feel like my feet are being licked?! I open my eyes. I can see the red dawn through the canopies above, and the birds are just starting their trilling song.... and my feet are still being carefully licked by a slightly rough and very lively tongue. I wonder what kind of stupid animal is attacking my feet? Taking care not to give myself away, I stealthily raise my head to check out what is going on. My socks and shoes are off, and Tie''sha is going to town on my feet, licking my sole, the top of my foot and even between my toes. It tickles a little bit, but I resist the urge to wiggle my toes and giggle. Instead, I lower my head back down and try to sleep, maybe this is another weird dream. It should go away if I try to sleep and ignore it, right? I close my eyes really tight and hnnng, trying to go back to sleep, but it''s not working... the bird song is getting louder... Just what the hell is my minion doing? Tie''sha continues unabashedly attacking me. Aaah, I can''t take it any more, it tickles and what the hell why are you doing something so embarrassing, stupid maid minion?! With a sigh I raise my head again. I just stare at Tie''sha, who is looking at me with shock, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open with some drool dripping down. Her cute fluffy animal ears are twitching slightly. In this situation, there is only one option. Therefore, I take sente and initiate the attack! Neverending Nugi-nugi whirlwind! I shout, throwing myself at Tie''sha. Once I''ve managed to lock my body around her, I nugi-nugi the living daylights out of her fluffy, sensitive ears. Let''s ignore her moaning and heavy breathing because although my minion is most assuredly a lesbianism in the closet, I am definitely not, okay? Goddamn it! Once I have defeated the Tie''sha, leaving her in a panting heap on the ground before me, I let rip a double peace, but still no ahegao because I am not an animal ww. I briefly consider stepping on her face and talking down to her, but at this point that might be a reward for my strangely perverted maid since her operating principle seems to be toes before hoes. So instead of gratifying her fetish by stepping on her head, I just put my socks and shoes back on and clear my throat. So, have you learned your lesson? I ask. Tie''sha lowers her head, her face becoming red. Cute animal ears, fluffy tail! Okay, I will forgive you this once. Good good. At least you chose to commit the deed when the others were asleep. It is good that you are stealthy since I am a master of stealth and subterfuge and subtlety, so it would be no good if my minion wasn''t proficient in the art as well. I say. Delivering my final blow, I pat her head and say. They say dogs take after their masters, after all. My... my lady, I''m not a dog. Tie''sha says in a small voice. I know, but you''re not that different either. I had a dog once that used to lick my feet when I was sleeping in bed, so you reminded me of that. Why were you... doing such an embarrassing thing anyway? I ask, tilting my head innocently even though I now know that my maid is a Lez luthor. After all, I caught her red-handed. I finally have proof. Irrefutable proof! Uhm, you see... there was a scratch on your feet that kept bleeding, so I had to... you know... make sure it didn''t get infected... ye-yes, that''s it! So you see, I had to do it. Tie''sha says, her hands playing with the hem of her skirt as she averts her eyes. Lightning strikes me and my mouth opens and closes soundlessly. I am surely making a dumbfounded expression right now. Aah! I was so close to finally nailing Tie''sha down as a lesbioid but now I am not sure! After all, she was just doing her duty as my minion and keeping her master safe and sound. It was only natural... But... If you were just cleaning a cut, why didn''t you stop sooner? it was super embarrassing you know? I ask. Tie''sha looks panicked for a moment, but then she clears her throat and faces me honestly. Actually... your feet... tasted... like... candy... I''m sorry! Tie''sha says, bowing her head with a bright red face. Uuuh... that''s very embarrassing, but I''ll forgive you this once since you''re my minion. I say, but inside I am burning up. Of course, it was partly my fault! After all, I am a very sweet (33 year old) loli *cough* But why? Could it be that I got some sort of strange new external type of diabetes that makes my skin taste sweet? Since I am an undead and I don''t pee, it makes sense? Agh, I don''t know! Besides, I only ate a little bit at the Cornelives house... okay, I ate a lot, but what of it!? Suddenly, my eyes darken and I tighten up my expression. My lady, what''s wrong? Tie''sha asks, fear in her voice. I just remembered a great travesty. I say and Tie''sha nods gravely. Yes, the sacking of Weimar was quite the ordeal, but through the fire and flames we survived. Again thanks to you. Tie''sha says. Sure sure, that was troublesome, but the problem is that I don''t know if the honeycake chef survived. And what about the candy apple merchant? Did they make it out? No... no I refuse to believe that they died! Of course they made it out, why, if we follow River-chan upstream we will surely reach their campsite and I will be able to eat candy apples again, right? Right Tie''sha? I ask, my eyes slightly wet. However, I somehow manage to hold the tears. Tie''sha has a strange, conflicted expression on her face, but before she can answer me, loud grumbling reverberates throughout the campsite. Why the bleeding arse be ye shoutin'' so feckin'' loud early in the morning! Grom shouts, sitting up from where he was sleeping underneath a tree. A few leaves got stuck in his beard and he is picking them out one by one, a sour expression and a frown on his face. He is perfect, so nice and awesome, a grumpy cursing dwarf, truly amazing.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. Why... why are ye smiling like that lass? It''s creeping me out. Grom says, flicking the last leaves out of his beard and dusting himself off. Didn''t you also just shout?! I ask, even as the others are waking up. The kids we saved. I wonder if any of them can make honeycakes. If they can''t, we could just dispose of them to make traveling faster. That way, I can get to a place that has honeycakes faster. Ah but that''s no good, is it? Ahen. My smile is perfectly normal, you know? I say, looking around at the fledgling adventurers still rubbing sleep out of their eyes. See? Isn''t my smile fine? There''s nothing weird about it right? It''s just the smile of a cute loli. I say, and there is a moment of silence. Then someone whispers Hey Riv, what is a loli? The red-haired boy asks. A blackhaired girl shrugs. Ye, yes, your smile is fine. They say in unison. Grinning, I turn back to Grom and puff my chest out, triumphant, victorious as usual, fufufu. He has the gall to ignore me and walk away towards a distant bush. Oi, where are you going meatpie? I am not finished yet! Takin a piss! Leave off it lass. For fucks sake... Grom grumbles, one hand ominously loosening his belt, he waddles towards the distant bushes. I hope bush-chan doesn''t wilt from Grom''s pee attack. I wonder if George bush has ever been peed on? Anyway, we quickly leave the camp site, since we''re still quite close to Weimar. Apparently, we don''t have much time before the boner-kun army starts marching on the next town and Grom thinks we should try to get there before the army to warn them, but didn''t he warn Weimar? Little good it did them... but perhaps it will make a difference this time? I have no idea. My mind drifts as we walk, following the river upstream and inland. Along the way, I get to know the group we''re babysitting. The red-haired boy with freckles is called Rohn, and I''m not even joking. The black-haired beauty he was supporting during the escape from Weimar is his cousin and she is called Rivanna. No, I''m not kidding. Although we''ve long since escaped the burning Weimar and the boner-kun army, Rohn and Rivanna continue to walk close to each other and talk in secretive whispers almost like they are lovers. Behind the two love birds there''s Kiri and Barodh, a blonde haired pair of twins. It seems we adults have a wholesome family to babysit, but honestly I''m a bit afraid of what it''ll turn into. I remember back when I was playing WoW fulltime, *cough* definitely not unemployed *cough*, I was in a family guild. It wasn''t too bad, but not that good either. There was some unnecessary drama over loot and stuff, but even though I know that to be a possibility, I will never relinquish the honeycakes to them! I will only share them with Tie''sha and Grom. Anyway, the kids are tired so we''re stopping now. It''s definitely not because my body is weak from mana exhaustion that we''re stopping, okay? Goddamn it! We''re still inside the forest near the river, but there''s a mountain neaby from which the river flows. We found a nice and convenient cave in which to rest, there''s already a fire pit dug out and everything. It''s just perfect for cooking the Alyce-chan special, but ah, I don''t have any more boners. During the flaming inferno escape, I unfortunately did not have the wherewithal to ask my minions to gather some boners for me, truly a shame. I will have to make do with one of the kids... I mean, uh... It''s not like I need food every day to survive. I''m a corpse so it''s alright. But still, Rivanna looks nice and plump, she is even more delectable than her cousin and her chest is bouncy funya. By the way, I am definitely not a witch from hansel and gretel, alright? I''m just an innocent fire witch okay? I would never dream of roasting some delicious human meat over a fire pit in a cave in the middle of the forest, you know? Don''t be ridiculous! My lady, this cave keeps going. Tie''sha remarks. She is exploring the cave with a burning stick that I fashioned for her. Grom gets up and goes over to her. After awhile, he starts grumbling very nicely and I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. Struggling to my feet, I wobble over to them to see what the big deal is about. What... is this? I ask. Inside this cave, around a bend, there is a huge cavern glowing with a pulsing blue light. The light is coming from some strange mushrooms and I get the urge to harvest some of them and test their effects on the kids we brought along. Maybe it was a good thing we saved them after all. Speaking of the kids, they all collapsed around the fire as soon as we lit it there at the cave entrance. All they would need is a little push to make things right, but no. Now is not Alyce-chan''s cooking time, now is Alyce-chan''s cave exploration time! And no, that''s not an innuendo, okay? Goddamn it! I enter behind Grom and Tie''sha and walk over to a boulder covered with glowing blue moss. Sitting down with a sigh, I watch as Grom and Tie''sha poke around, humming and haahing at things in the cave. After awhile, Tie''sha comes over to me to report her finds. My lady, we believe this to be a side-entrance to a dungeon. My eyebrows shoot up and I feel my face tugging into a smile. A dungeon! Moderately neato! I say. Tie''sha looks a bit confused. Grom waddles over as well. It be a bit of a problem. Ye see, side entrances usually lead ye to a deeper part so we don''t know what''s inside. I recommend we steer clear. Grom says. That simply wont do! How can I call myself an adventurer if I don''t enter a dungeon and explore. I say. It''s too dangerous. Besides, we hafta get tae Larlen to warn the king. Grom says. It''s a serious reply, but it makes too much sense to be readily ignored. Sadly, I rub the glowing blue moss between my fingers and lament. Ah, I really wanted to go dungeon delving... poor dungeon-chan, I bet you don''t get many visitors here. Such a rare opportunity and yet we have to miss it. Poor, poor dungeon-chan. I say, repeatedly rubbing the glowing blue moss. Oops, it broke and stopped glowing. Then we hear a horrified scream from the cave entrance where the kids are resting. It''s definitely not my fault, alright? Grom charges ahead, pulling his glowing blue sword. Oi, why is it a blue glow by the way? Sting? Tolkien-sama will get angry, you know? Alyce-chan is definitely not an epigone or a pleonastic plagiarist, okay? Goddamn it! Tie''sha helps me up and we chase after him to see what the fuss is about. Huffing a puffing, we go back through the passage and around the bend into what should''ve been the entrance to the cave... but it''s dark except for the flickering light of the campfire. That''s right. There''s a stone wall where the entrance should be. Maybe the C in cave is for Clinton? Seriously, don''t stone wall me bro! I approach the wall and run my hand across the rough surface. It feels real, so it''s not some illusion... there really is a stone wall where the exit to the cave system should be. Wallhacker! Cheater! What... is the meaning of this? I ask, turning to Grom for an explanation. My meatpie is good for so many things. I''m glad I packed him for lunch on my trip. Unfortunately, his facial expression and shrug tells me all that I need to know. It seems he is as lost as I am... Impotently, I bang my small fist against the wall a few times, thump thump, the flickering light from the campfire behind me lending the scene an eerie light. Rivanna is hugging Rohn tightly and comforting him. It seems he is afraid of the dark. Okay, if there are any traps in the dungeon let''s use him as bait. It makes sense, you know? Why would I drag around someone useless huh? It''s definitely not strange, kay? Got it?! Joking aside, it seems like my wish shall come true and I suppress the urge to smile. Looks like we have no choice but to explore the dungeon to find a way out. Ah, truly what a shame. I say with an exaggerated shrug. Grom''s face contracts into a grimace. I fucked up. To think this was a dungeon-trap... His serious face is very serious, but I can hardly tell because of the lovely beard covering his serious face. In any case, it''s a serious face. Tie''sha looks frightened too and I just remembered that I have mana exhaustion, which basically makes me useless in the dungeon. What the heck is that? I can finally go dungeon diving in this new world, but I have mana exhaustion? Quietly, I shake an angry fist at the heavens but eventually I sigh and nod at Grom. It seems there''s nowhere to go but into the dungeon. It''s really a shame... I say. Grom nods but looks a bit confused. Aye, thousands may die because our warning will be late or wont come at all. Grom says. I shake my head. No, I mean, I can finally go to a dungeon but I have mana exhaustion so I can''t do anything. Seriously what is that?! So unfair. I say. That''s what you''re worried about? Grom asks. I nod solemnly. Honestly, I don''t really care how many people die to the boner-kun army as long as they aren''t honeycake chefs or candy apple merchants. But I''m definitely not a monster, okay? Goddamn it! In any case, it''s a delicious dungeon exploration trip for our little family! We have even packed four lunch packs in case I get hungry. I am forced to walk with the kids, behind even Tie''sha, while Grom leads the way warily, using his glowing blue sword like a light stick as he enters the dungeon. It''s not humiliating, you know? It''s a strategic move by me to be close to the food. It''s important to not lose the meat you packed for lunch on the school trip, you know? The entrance is square-shaped and far from being a simple cave, inside there are actual stairs leading down. On the wall there are many unlit torches. It almost reminds me of a medieval castle tower turrent spire thingie except there are no windows with princesses hanging out of them, and we''re definitely going far underground. Actually, I''m starting to get dizzy from going round and round and round the spiral staircase. Staggering, I use the wall as support as I walk down but my head won''t stop spinning crazily. Something... something is wrong. It almost feels like I''m gonna throw up, and it also feels like I''m gonna faint. I''m so dizzy that I can hardly see. All I can do is follow Tie''sha''s cute tail down the stairs and try not to faint from the dizziness. Thisssss.... far.. deeeh, uh... I mumble, feeling myself falling forward. Dimly, I hear Hey, what''s wrong? Hey! Goddamn it! Chapter 18 - Being a dungeon mob is hard, you know? Lets become a necklace instead. When I open my eyes again, all I see around me are enemies. These enemies have made it deep into the dungeon, far beyond the floors that the adventurers normally challenge. It is dangerously close to master''s core and I can feel his desperation flowing through me. In my chest there is a panicky feeling. It''s because he''s already dealing with a troublesome adventurer party and he can''t afford to fight another group right now. It seems these guys took the secret route and went down to the 13th floor in one go since we''re right in front of the staircase and I''m lying on the ground while the enemies are all sitting around me doing nothing and talking amongst themselves. It seems they are quite careless. Yes. All the way to the 13th floor, close to master''s core. If this group somehow met up with that other adventurer group... It makes my chest thunder with panic. Eyes wild, I make a lunge for the first enemy I see. It is a girl with animal ears, a beastkin. Master hates beastkin a lot because they are usually strong adventurers, but this one doesn''t seem to have any gear on her, only a weird dress. She seems weak, a good first prey to feed master. She seems surprised. That''s good. I''m not strong, so I need the element of surprise. Quickly, I claw my way up her body, ripping her dress in the process and causing some blood to spill from superficial wounds. It wont kill her, but every little bit helps. I let out a growl and attack her face, pushing her down. She falls on her back with a yelp, her eyes wide with shock. Fufufu, I am a master of the element of surprise, you know? Even though I''m weak, I''m dangerous! Don''t underestimate me. But, for some reason, I don''t feel like scratching her face with my claws. Why? I don''t get it, but I don''t want to claw her eyes out even though master ordered me to do it. I will kill her another way. The beastkin girl is on the ground and I am straddling her body. Quickly before the others can get me, I slither over to her face and wrap my legs around her neck. Since I''m small, it''s easy to twist my body and get her head between my legs. Fufufu, excellent. I squeeze, applying pressure to the beastkins neck. Her eyes are still wide with fear and I grin down at her as I growl like the animal that I am. Yes! Cry before you die, suffer for the master, stupid beastkin! Fall to my thighs, wahaha. I don''t even have to use my claws to kill someone so weak, my legs are enough hahaha, I''m great aren''t I? Master will surely praise me for this kill. When I become stronger I can kill someone with my lower body while my upper body takes care of another. A double kill technique could be in the works, it''s excellent! Ah, that''s right. I have to hurry up and kill this girl. Master commanded me to hurry up and claw her eyes, but I really don''t want to do that, so I will just continue my neck attack. Die, die die! I scream, squeezing tighter with my legs. The beastkins face is red and it looks like her eyes are about to pop out of her head. I laugh out loud at the silly sight and focus with a hnnngg, squeezing my legs together as strongly as I can. The beastkin girls eyes widen and then they roll back showing the whites. She''s fainted. Good! Now a little more and the kill will be mine! Kill for the master, yes yes. Something slams into me and I am flung to the side, my vision darkening as I crash into the wall near the staircase route, master''s secret route. They dared take it, I must punish them for master but I can''t get up. I''m so weak. I look over at the fallen beastkin girl with her ripped dress. I was so close to killing her for master.... what a shame. The man standing over me looks strong, too strong for me to handle. Still, I grit my teeth and prepare to lunge at him and claw his eyes out. But there it is again, that strange feeling. I don''t know why, but I don''t want to hurt this man either. Something must be wrong with me, surely... I will go to master later to ask about it. Well, if I can get away. It looks like this will be the end, the big man has a sword but he hasn''t drawn it yet. His brow is furrowed and he is frowning down at me. I crouch down defensively and make myself look vicious, growling and hissing up at him, trying in vain to claw at his stomach but there''s golden armor there. Ah, that''s right! Neck. Hnnng, I exude my amazing powerful elegance and roll forward like I''m playing dark souls. Growling, I lunge for the big man and wrap myself around him, my arms locking around his neck. I''ve got you now, invader. Ufufu, die die die! I say, squeezing my arms around his neck. Nothing happens. And he doesn''t remove me either. That''s strange. If my attack is ineffective, then what''s stopping him from shaking me off and stabbing me with his glowing blue sword? Master, help me understand!The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. So then... him not removing me means my attack is effective? It''s just taking a long time to work? Yes, that''s right. Let''s go with that. I continue squeezing my arms around the mans neck as tightly as I can manage, but he gets up and turns, walking over to the fainted beastkin girl and totally ignoring my attack. The fool! He will fall in time, just like the beastkin girl. Hopefully I can finish this one, since I wasn''t able to finish the beastkin girl. I''ve been squeezing the mans neck for some time now but he''s not going down... The beastkin is starting to wake up, letting out a moan and shifting her body. Then her eyes flicker open and she sits up with a gasp, looking around in confusion. Ah shit, I really missed my chance to kill her there... master will surely scold me. Die, die! I growl, trying to squeeze the mans neck harder. I musn''t disappoint master. Maybe he''s not dying because my legs are fantastic and my arms are only so-so, but I can''t risk changing position, otherwise he will most assuredly throw me off. Tie''sha, are ye alright? the man asks. The beastkin nods, her eyes still glazed over and the confusion evident on her face. Then she pats down her body, feeling her wounds. Alyce... she... she... I know. The man says and pulls out a bottle of drinking water. Here, clean yer wounds with this. The man says, throwing the bottle of water to the beastkin. Who is this Alyce? Another enemy? One of the kids hiding over there in the corner maybe? Ah, who cares. I must kill this man, even if it is taking some time, squeezing the neck should be an effective approach, so let''s continue the attack. Hnnng! By the way, what is that thing clinging to you? Arms? Where''s Alyce? the beastkin asks as she pours the water on her wounds, washing away the blood. Fufufu, my master plan. I made this man waste his precious drinking water here. Don''t you foolish adventurers know that the drinking water in the 13th floor and beyond is poisoned?! Food is sparse, you know? Monster meat is poisonous to normal people as well, so you''ll starve! Fufufu. The man turns around, revealing me to the beastkin girl. I growl and squeeze and hnnngg to no effect, but I am discovered despite my amazing stealth skills. The beastkin girls eyes are wide. Lady Alyce? She asks. Who, me? There''s no way I am this Alyce they''re speaking of. I am master''s minion, so I can''t be Alyce too. Something''s gotten hold o'' her, she ain''t herself. The man says. I... I can see that. The beastkin says. When she attacked me, it felt like a dream and then everything went black... She did to ye what she''s trying ta do ta me. The man says and the beastkin girl nods. So that''s how... I''ve never seen that before. The girl says. Of course you haven''t seen it before! It''s my super secret amazing stealth attack, you know? Fufufu, master will surely praise me later. But why does the beastkin girls face look so flushed? There''s no way she''s excited from my attack, right? Ah, she must be terrified then. Yep, surely she isn''t weirdly excited but instead realizing just how close she came to death. Flirting with death is dangerous, you know? Even though you got away this time, next time surely, I''ll kill. See her nails? the man says. The beastkin nods. Uhuh, wait, those look like claws?! Aye, they be claws. But why hasn''t she used them on us yet? And she could bite me neck any time with those sharp incisors she got, but all she''s doing is squeezing my neck The man says. The girl looks puzzled for a moment, then her mouth opens in an o. I see, she doesn''t really want to hurt us but she can''t resist whatever this is... that''s it? The girl asks and the man nods. Foolish adventurers. How can they claim to know the mind of an esteemed dungeon monster such as I? Die, die! I growl, trying with all my might to squeeze the mans neck. He completely ignores me. Wh-what do we do? The girl says, she sounds distressed and sad. How delicious. Master loves causing adventurers to dispair and break down. Maybe they''re looking for this Alyce, so I should get to her and try to kill her right when they arrive! The master plan! Then they will get sad and charge in, and I will have traps laying in wait for them. Maybe the lava room on the 14th floor will be good for that? But to go prepare the traps, I have to let go of the mans neck and that would end my super supreme amazing stealth attack. So I don''t let go. I will keep squeezing. I have no idea. The man says. But we shouldnae dilly-dally. This dungeon is evil, I can feel it in me beard. It be a corrupted dungeon, corrupt right to the core. The man continues. So we have to clear the dungeon? The girl says. Aye. So we do. Then Alyce will return to normal? The man looks unsure. I can''t'' say fer sure, but yeah... I was right about this Alyce. They really are trying to get her. She is their objective! But wait, they talked about clearing the dungeon. Panic rises in my chest as my master is threatened, but my master is strong so there''s no way he''s in real danger. Besides, no matter how much I want to help defend master, all I can do right now is continue my super necking attack on this man. What about that? The girl says, gesturing to the man. Leave it, she''s like a big necklace, nothing more. How rude! I am definitely not a mere necklace, okay? But maybe it''s a good cover. He thinks I am as harmless as a necklace, so let''s become a deadly necklace. Good good. Growling occasionally, I squeeze away at his neck with all my might as they make their way deeper into master''s dungeon. Surely, my damage over time neck attack is effective. Steady does it. The monsters on the 13th floor are supposed to be strong because master''s core is on the 15th floor, but the big man is hacking through them like they are butter and their attacks seem useless against his armor. To be honest, he is kind of cool. And the way he is swearing is so nice. If I wasn''t trying to kill him, I might want to help him clear the dungeon. But ah, such thoughts are no good. Even though I like his swearing so much, I am necking him for the kill. Surely the hellhounds on the 14th floor will get him, or the lava wyrms. For some reason, my stomach starts doing flip-flops at the thought that these guys will fall. No one is allowed to kill them but me! They are my prey, mine alone! Grrr. But still, these people are cute. They''re underestimating master too much. Just because they''re defeating many weak monsters they think master is easy, but that is not the case. All of masters strong monsters are busy defending him right now. Besides, the 13th floor is very large and this group is so far from the entrance to the 14th floor that it''s almost laughable. I think I have at least a few days to kill this man with my neck attack before he is killed by the lava wyrms on the 14th floor. By that time, Master should''ve mopped up that pesky adventurers party aswell. How troublesome to bring an ice mage to a fire and corruption dungeon. Master is definitely displeased. Welp, nothing I can do for now but continue my damage over time neck attack and hope it''s effective. Chapter 19 - Rainstars. This truly is a cursed dungeon. Hal remarked, looking down at the corpse of Markus lying there all alone in a pool of blood, in a dark corridor next to the corpse of a giant spider. Beside him, ithne was shedding silent tears. Hal was 18 and had been through hell and back before becoming an adventurer. Half-elf slaves were popular and he''d been in high demand even when he was a young child. Compared to him, 14 year old ithne was a gentle soul. She wasn''t meant to go through such hellish hardships. To have her sullied by this corrupt dungeon, to have her watch as her companions died one by one... it was an unforgivable sin. It''s all this fucking dungeon''s fault. Lars Drabek remarked, wiping his green daggers on his cloak. Why the hell can''t we leave? How long''ve been in here? A month? Lars continued. One month and 6 days. ithne replied, her voice quiet, subdued. A D ranked unconquered dungeon so close to a major city. We should''ve known it was fishy to begin with. We got no one to blame but ourselves. ithne continued, her voice was sad and she clenched her fists. Hal went over and put a hand on her shoulder. She shuddered, then threw herself against him and cried quietly into his chest. Gently, he stroked her back as he tried to comfort the girl. ithne really was small. Her skin was pale but held a slight blue tint, and her hair was a deep seaweed green color and flowed down her back in waves. She was a Selkie. Very rare, even rarer than a half-elf bastard such as himself. He thought they made a good pair. That they''d become the strongest adventurer''s party together.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Halidon Whiterock felt that he had to protect her no matter what. They had to get out of this dungeon alive, and he would do anything to achieve that goal. Even if it took them years to get strong enough to challenge the last few rooms, he would do it. There was food enough down here on the 12th floor, but it spoiled quickly. They had to get stronger, much stronger... and this was no mere D ranked dungeon. It was a corrupt dungeon, and the mobs on the last few floors were way stronger than on the previous floors. It deceived adventurer''s into thinking it was a D ranked dungeon, prevented them from escaping and then finally, extinguished them. We''ll get through this. Hal said quietly, and ithne nodded, wiping at her eyes as she pulled back from him. We will. Lars will become the greatest rogue, you will become the strongest swordsman, and I will become the most amazing ice witch the world has ever seen. Together, we will destroy this corruption and stop more new adventurers from falling prey to this evil place. ithne said. To that end, let''s go. We''ve wasted enough time grieving. Lars said, eyeing the mutilated corpse of their fellow party member, Markus, lying there on the ground. Counting Markus'' supplies, we have enough water to last us a few days. I want to push for the 13th floor. If we don''t change our routine, this damn dungeon will get us. Hal said. The others seemed to agree with him, so they advanced towards the stairs leading down to the 13th floor. As their vanguard, he led the way, always keeping a hand on his sword, ready to draw it at a moments notice. ithne walked in the middle, and Lars brought up the rear, ready to meld into the shadows at a moments notice and take a poisoned stab at anyone who tried to sneakily attack them. He would not let their dreams die in this dungeon. It was time to become stronger. Time to challenge fate and clear this damn dungeon! Chapter 20 - The dagger of betrayal Hal heard her scream, but he couldn''t see. The pain in his stomach was too great. All he could do was clutch at his stomach where the dagger protruded and grit his teeth against the pain. Lars... after all we''ve been through... He dimly heard ithne say. Then his world went black. Some time later, he awoke feeling strangely refreshed. For a moment, Hal thought he was back in his room at the Golden Lion in Larlen but as soon as he smelled the sulfur in the air and the accompanying stench of rot, he realized he was still in the dungeon on the 14th floor. Curse this place.... Shit! He snapped his eyes open and tried to sit up, but ithne was there putting a hand on his chest and guiding him back onto the hard floor. In the background, he could hear the rumbling and gurgling of the lava springs, the crackling of the eternal firepools and the slow grinding of rock elementals standing guard over treasure chests. Those chests were high level mimicks. Another hellish trap of this dungeon. The 14th floor was such a huge step-up from the supposed D rank dungeon... Yeah, more C+ or B- ... for a full party. And they weren''t a full party any longer. Stay down. I''m not finished healing you yet. ithne said and Hal could do nothing but comply. She extended her hand and placed it on his chest. Blue mist rose from her delicate digits as a cool, refreshing feeling swept through his body, making him shiver. So... Lars? He asked. ithne''s face took on a strange, unreadable expression. He... was killed. She said quietly. You managed to beat him? How long have I been indisposed? Hal asked, coughing a few times and spitting some back goo from his mouth. ithne shook her head.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. No, I did not kill him. Something.... something else got him. ithne said, seeming to shiver. What? Hal asked, but ithne simply shook her head. It happened so fast. One moment, we were drinking, the next moment Lars had his poisoned dagger in his hand and was stabbing at your back. I.. I tried to stop him but... her eyes got wet and the tears came. There were many things Hal hated in this world, but the thing he hated most of all was seeing ithne cry. Weakly, he reached up and wiped at her face. It''s not your fault. Lars was stronger than either of us, and with his backstabbing skills there was no way we could''ve anticipated it. Hal said, trying to comfort his little ocean girl. She had saved his life and he felt useless and weak... he couldn''t even protect the woman he loved. It was shameful. That reminded him of what she''d said before. So... how long was I out? And what happened after Lars stabbed me? Uh, I think 15 minutes at most. I''ve spent almost all my mana healing you, you know? She said, then there was a long silent gap where she just stared at nothing. She appeared out of nowhere. ithne said suddenly. I''ve never felt anything so terrifying in my life. Her magic power, her rage. Mana mist was leaking from her eyes like she was a powerful lich. Lars died instantly... there''s nothing left, not even his epic grade daggers. ithne said, shivering. A woman, you say? A mage? Another adventurer? Hal asked, quite confused still. I really don''t know what that was. It looked like a young girl, but her power felt like a lich. She looked possessed and very angry and she ran immediately towards the entrance to the 15th floor. Hals eyes sharpened. They had been down here for more than 3 months already. Steadily grinding and growing stronger, they kept advancing bit by bit through the lower floors and gaining strength. They had gone from newbie adventurers at level 35 to nearly level 100. Lars had hit 100 about a week ago, but then he changed...corrupted dungeons... there was a good reason why they were destroyed whenever they were discovered. If... if she was as strong as you say, then maybe we stand a chance with her by our side. We should hurry and go after her down to the 15th level. Hal said. ithne looked conflicted, but in the end she silently picked his sword up and handed it to him. Then she extended a hand and pulled him to his feet. I''m almost out of juice, so all I can do will be minor support spells. You good with that? ithne said. Roger that partner. Hal replied, grinning over at her to get them both fired up and to just change the atmosphere. Let''s do this! He shouted, leading the way down the stairs to the final floor of the dungeon. Chapter 21 - Slaughterfield Hal descended the stairs nervously, with ithne right behind him. The rugged cave-like wall curved around and around, and pale torchlight flickered from the occasional rusty sconches on the walls. The closer they got to the 15th floor, the more nervous Hal became. He had at least expected to hear something, but it was dead silent except for the tap tap of their footsteps. Clenching his hand around the hilt of his sword, he advanced down, down down. The staircase opened upon a very creepy room. The first thing that caught his attention was the lack of flames. The stench of rot and death was overwhelming though and there were old, yellowed piles of bones everywhere. The ceiling pulsed with a strange green light that seemed to want to grip his heart and stop it. Heartstop aura... how frightening. And this was just the floor entrance. Hal made his way through the dead room. Occasionally a bone would snap underfoot and send a shiver up his spine. ithne was right beside him, so he couldn''t afford to be afraid. Besides, there had been no sign of monsters so far. Entering the next room, all that changed. Hal froze and ithne let out a sharp gasp. Before them lay hundreds of dead monsters. Small groups of Ivory draughr, a level 120 rare monster, were scattered about. Mixed in with those squads of ivory draugh were a few chaos ogres, or what was left of them anyway... Chaos ogres... level 150 rare mobs. Then of course there was the ridiculous amounts of dead goblins and zombies. Some looked burned, others looked like they had simply exploded, guts and murky black blood staining the walls, the floor and even the ceiling far above. But most mysteriously, a large part of the undead monsters looked like they had simply fallen apart, like the death energy that bound them together had just been ripped from them. But that was impossible. Shivering, Hal made his way through the battlefield of strong rare monsters, leading ithne along. However, once they got to the center of the room they once more paused. What... the hell... is this dungeon... Hal remarked. On the floor there was a giant rock cockatrice. It should be at least level 180 and rare. Around the cockatrice lay a few relatively unassuming piles of clothing, but upon further inspection Hal learned that what was hidden inside those clothes were grave hags... or at least their remains. Grave hags were over level 150 and very troublesome magic users known to be able to take down an entire adventurers party by themselves. Hal had no idea that a grave hag''s face could display an expression of fear, but you learned something new every day. A little girl, you said? Hal asked, his voice dry as they moved past the corpses of countless monsters piled high. ithne swallowed audibly, but did not reply. They continued in silence through room after room. Each room was the same, dead monsters everywhere, most killed in gruesome ways, quite often with their eyes missing as though they''d been hacked out by a bird. Up ahead, a gigantic pair of double doors were open. Hal was sure this was the boss room. The dungeon core was in there. They were so close to escaping, finally... after months of suffering. But it wasn''t over yet. Side by side, he and ithne approached the massive double doors. When they got close, the sounds of battle drifted to them from inside the room. It sounds like a crazy magic fight! ithne said and Hal sped up, drawing his sword and charging through the open doors. What he saw inside sent a shiver down his spine. It was total chaos and he couldn''t make head and tails of it. The last chamber was a huge throne room with a large space in front of an elevated throne. To the left of the throne, there was an oversized, mean looking imp that smelled far too much of sulfur holding off a labyrinth reaper by itself. Labyrinth reapers were level 200 rares... and would sometimes act as dungeon bosses in their own right. And yet this imp was fighting such an existence by itself. What the hell was this imp... To the right of the throne was even more strange. A fire elemental and a large raven was pushing back a huge 4 meter tall minotaur with an enormous sword and shield and flaming horns. Hal didn''t know how strong that minotaur was, but... it was undoubtedly a lot stronger than the current him.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. Hal shook himself from admiring the strange combatants. He had to do something, he had to help. He took a few steps forward, intending to join the imp creature against the labyrinth reaper, but before he could do so there was a large flash and something knocked him off his feet along with ithne. He looked to the throne and froze. Some... creature... covered with bandages, it''s head a glowing red orb, had crashed into the throne and destroyed it. The bandaged creature quickly got up and turned around, backing away from the throne with its back towards Hal. That... that creature''s head, that orb... that was the dungeon core. As expected of a corrupted dungeon. It wasn''t normal. Hal narrowed his eyes, realizing that there was a door behind the destroyed throne. Out of that door walked a young girl, smokey energy drifting from her angry, narrowed eyes. In her hand, she held a wand, which she pointed at the bandaged creature. Sssss, whooo aree youu! the core screamed, jumping back and erecting a red barrier. The girl moved her wand from side to side with her wrist, and with each movement, violent sizzling flames snaked out of the wand like nothing he''d ever seen before, raining hell onto the orb creature. The red barrier flickered under the crazy magical assault. Hal realized it would soon break and that they were directly behind the bandaged creature. Shit! We gotta go! Hal shouted, quickly grabbing ithne by the arm and dragging her off to the side. Not a second too soon, because the barrier broke. The orb creature hissed, and a sickening energy filled the room. Everything shook, and Hal was fighting just to stay conscious. Out the corner of his eyes, he saw dark and red flashes exploding with a boom from the creature towards the little girl with the wand. She had no barrier up, but this girl was so strong. Surely she would---- No... Her arm with the wand got blown off by a blast of angry red energy and the black energy got her in the stomach, clinging to her and eroding her clothes although it didn''t seem to deal any real damage to her body. Another crimson light flashed, slamming into the girls stomach. She doubled over, falling to her knees. It was over. Her arm had been blasted off and she''d taken one of those red blasts directly to her stomach without any spell protection. Why? Why the hell wasn''t she casting defensive magic? Could it be she didn''t know any barriers? Ridiculous. Why would someone so strong not know basic barrier magic? Surely she had at least one barrier spell... But... she was dead meat. Hal prepared himself to grab ithne and run, but inside he felt deep dispair. This last boss was simply too strong. He would die here in this damn dungeon along with ithne... Unbelievably, the girl got to her feet despite her missing arm and the gaping hope in her chest. When Hal saw the expression on the girls face, he shivered. It was pure madness. Wide, crazy mad eyes, an insane smile showing fangs, and that sinister smokey mana-light leaking from her eyes. Then she let out a scream. All hell broke loose. From the girl, all sorts of crazy magic exploded. Two lines of red energy extended from the girls hand, connecting to the red orb with a loud buzzing sound even as fire exploded in a circle from her body. Dark projectiles, fire balls and those sizzling snakes of fire also manifested in front of the girl and sped towards the bandaged orb creature. It fell to its knees with a scream of pain and the whole dungeon shook. Projectiles of darkness tore into it, ripping the bandages even as fire burned it. A wall of fire that reached the ceiling, appeared right on top of the creature, splitting the room in half with roaring flames. Then the bandaged creature floated up off of the ground as if lifted by a giant hand, all the while still burning inside the fire wall. It was still screaming in pain as the two red rays connected to it buzzed louder and louder. A dark grey mist appeared around the creature and it started to just disappear. Hal could tell with the naked eye that the creature was regenerating itself extremely fast, unnaturally fast... but the dark grey mist ate away at it even faster. Suddenly, the wall of fire disappeared and the bandaged orb creature floating in the air was flung to the left into one of the supporting pillars, two more of those angry red energy beams connected to it. Hal looked up to see the girl swipe her hand to the side. The bandaged creature tore through the air and smashed into the other pillar. A series of black bolt-like projectiles flew from the girls outstretched hand and struck the pillar and the orb creature with an explosive boom. Something cracked and a loud ping resounded in his ears.
Attention: The B- ranked dungeon of red corruption, Almutramys, has been defeated.
There was another even louder crack and Hal looked up just in time to see the gigantic support pillar snap in two. ithne tackled him to the side just as he saw that and everything went white all around him as everything came crashing down. Coughing, Hal reached over and wrapped a hand around ithne, pulling her up. Her eyes flickered and she opened them, confused for a moment. We''re... alive? she asked, then a smile. Oh gods, that smile. Hal couldn''t help it. He hugged ithne close, both of them crying as their hell was finally over. After awhile, they both felt recovered enough to try and make their way out of the rubble. Hal... that girl... ithne said and he immediately understood. She had lost her arm and taken a gruesome wound to her chest. Even though it was most likely meaningless, he had to at least go check on her, but it was a certaintly that that girl died. Gritting his teeth, he and ithne struggled to their feet. With arms around each other, she supported him just as much as he was supporting her, and the two of them made their way through the now ruined throne room, across the rubble and up towards the broken throne. They wobbled and nearly fell down a number of times, but coughing, they struggled forward and made it. Hal looked down sadly at the little girl lying near the throne. Her chest had exploded and her ribcage was all messed up. Her internal organs was a soup of red, with broken ribs... It was a gruesome mess, but he had seen much death in this dungeon these past few months. Still, to see such a beautiful girl so destroyed.. it made him think of ithne and he almost threw up despite himself. Just to be sure, he gently reached out a hand and touched the girls neck, but of course there was no pulse. He leant down to listen for her breath, but she wasn''t breathing either. It was all as expected, but that didn''t make it any less tough for him. Although He, Halidon Whiterock and ithne were finally free, he didn''t feel elated. He felt sad and tired, so tired. Unclipping his cloak, he lay it over the girl to hide her gruesome injuries. Now it just looked like a beautiful little girl sleeping. He picked her up and made his way towards the back room behind the throne and the freedom that lay beyond. Chapter 22 – Gromnir Redskull. There was no doubt in Grom''s mind that Alyce was at least an epic grade monster. Secretly, he thought she might be legendary grade and when she ran off screaming, plowing through monsters and rampaging, he hoped that it was true. Because nothing short of a legendary monster could conquer such harsh level differences, especially if you considered the fact that the mobs on the lower floors were mostly rare quality. He recalled seeing her adventurer''s plate back in Weimar. Her int stat was ridiculous for her level. A normal member of a higher race such as the dwarves or the elves would gain 3 stat points per level to distribute. Usually they would start with around 15-20 int at level one. In other words, Alyce with her ridiculous int level was at least capable of surmounting a level difference of 150 if you compared her to a normal race. He, who was a member of an ancient and powerful hero bloodline, received 5 points per level and talented adventurer''s received 4... This could sometimes be improved if you got a very rare and powerful class, but this usually happened around level 300 for most people. Such classes were very rare and exceedingly hard to come by. Constitution was her second highest stat, and it was also ridiculous. Scholars had studied monsters over the years and compared them to talented adventurers. Again, talented individuals would gain 2 or 3 constitution per level and he gained 5 because of his hero''s bloodline. But Alyce had to have gained a lot more per level to have close to 500 constitution near level 40... it was unbelievable. The scholars came to the conclusion that rare monsters most likely gained about 5 constitution per level aswell as 5 stat points per level. This was based upon various trials and tests between adventurers and monsters as well as other HP tests. Grom wasn''t certain of their accuracy, but it was commonly known to adventurers, as it was written in the widely distributed adventurers manual and taught in the academies around the world as fact. He had no reason to doubt the scholars findings. So... there was no way Alyce could be only a rare monster with such a high constitution, and even at epic quality it would be impossible to gain such a high constitution, since most thought they got 8 cons per level as epic quality mobs... Unless Alyce had been alive for decades under constant torture and healing, there was no way she would''ve been able to build up so much constitution unless she was at least a legendary grade monster. Grom himself had spent decades hammering away in the forge to temper his strength, and although the payoff of his strenuous efforts paled in comparison to the power his sister had gained through simply leveling up a lot, it was still well worth it. He smiled bitterly, clenching a fist as he watched the trail of dead monsters which Alyce had left in her wake. The lass was powerful... and so was he. He had worked hard to get his strength stat so high that it was comparable to the lassy''s int stat. And that was saying something. Once he leveled up more, he would become far more powerful than his damned sister, and he would retake his clan and take his rightful place under the mountain. No longer would they laugh at him for being a weak older brother incapable of running the clan with overwhelming strength as was tradition in ages past. He would show them all the true power of a son of the mountain, a son of the legendary redskull, who after his weapons broke, continued to fight by bashing monsters to mush using his head until it was but a bloody skull with flesh hanging off of it. Grom had steeled his resolve. He would do what he must. By any means necessary. He led the way for the group, following the lass''s trail of destruction and hoping she wasn''t too far gone to realize when she was in over her head. This was a corrupt dungeon, and as such, it was far more dangerous than a normal dungeon. But if anyone could handle it, it would be the lass. Just as Grom had descended the stairs to the last floor of the dungeon, a box entered his vision.
Attention: The B- ranked dungeon of red corruption, Almutramys, has been defeated.
She did it! Tie''sha shouted behind him, and the kids joined in. They''d been very quiet on this trip, and he supposed it was only right for the whelplings to be afraid. It was 5 years too early for them to be here. Perhaps 10 years considering their weakness... A small voice in his head whispered that Alyce had been right to want to leave them behind. Aye, she did. But... Grom trailed off. He was worried. After all, Alyce hadn''t been herself ever since she entered this dungeon, and even after her mana had returned and driven out the corrupted dungeon''s influence, she had remained off somehow. There was a dark glint in her eyes that Grom hadn''t seen before. But then again, Grom wasn''t a saint either. He desired to slaughter his sister and any who had aided her coup of his clan. He wanted to destroy his enemies and stand atop their bloody corpses. And so he would. In time, he would. Grom made his way through the last floor of the dungeon and the many, many corpses of strong monsters. He doubted he''d be able to take out these guys all by himself, but somehow Alyce had done it. Perhaps it was thanks to her absurd stats in combination with those dangerous sounding classes she had obtained, but she sure was something else... leaving a sea of wrecked, torn apart monster corpses in her wake like this. The kids fainted. Grom wanted very much to leave them and chase after the lass to see if she was okay, but gritting his teeth, he bent down and carried two of the fainted kids. Tie''sha managed to carry a third of the kids. The last one, Rivanna, woke up first and began walking on unsteady legs and following them. She cried quietly. Perhaps Alyce really had been right when she suggested that they leave them behind. When Grom passed the Cockatrice, entered the throne room and saw the destruction, he was convinced that this had to have been done by Alyce and her summons. The other kids were starting to wake up, so he set them down in the destroyed throne room and hurriedly walked towards the exit. Tie''sha followed behind him also ignoring the kids in favour of chasing after Alyce. The lass... she took on a B- ranked dungeon by herself below level 100. She was a monster with classes even though monsters usually couldn''t have classes. She had the talent points from her amazing classes as well as monster trait points. But even she could not escape from this encounter unscathed.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. There wasnae a way in hell she''d die, right? She was undead. She had always bounced back. Heck, first time he saw her she looked like a corpse and yet she was moving. It was mysterious. She would probably say something like, ''there''s no way I can die because I''m already dead, you know? I''m amazing, right? Don''t look at me like that, I''m not weird, okay? Goddamn it!'' and then she would stomp her small foot into the ground and pout like a child. Grom smiled as he imagined it, but then his smile turned into a frown as he searched the throne room. Alyce wasn''t here. Could she have made it out of the dungeon then? Wanting to find out, needing to find out, Grom charged towards the safe-room behind the boss room with Tie''sha right behind him. He easily found the stairs leading back up to the surface and ran up them in one go. Huffing and puffing, he stumbled out of the cave-like exit and into a clearing. There were trees on all sides and a small road leading out, but the first thing Grom spotted was two people. A tall, brown-skinned man with slightly pointy ears and blazing red hair stood near a quietly weeping girl with pale skin that glowed faintly blue and odd sea-weed like hair. Alyce was nowhere to be found, although there was what appeared to be a bundle of clothes or something lying on the ground behind the two figures. Suddenly, it felt like someone had sucker-punched him in the gut. She couldn''t be dead, and there was no way she would leave him behind, right? The kids maybe, but not him. Surely not him. So where was she!? Tie''sha made a lot of noise as she came up behind him, breathing heavily as she fell to the floor in a sweaty heap, sucking in laboured breaths as she tried to regain her feet. She had to get stronger if she wanted to be the lassy''s maid. Those two people up ahead turned as one towards them, a quick look of surprise on their faces before the red-haired man drew a long blade from his hip and stepped in front of the girl. Feeling on edge, Grom also pointed his glowing blue blade at the man, narrowing his eyes. Where is she? He growled. If these people had done something to her... he would make them pay. A look of confusion came over the tall red-haired man''s face and he slowly lowered his sword. You... you are that girl''s companions? He said, his voice trembling slightly as he averted his gaze. Looking more closely, Grom realized that this guy was quite young despite the fact that he looked and felt like a capable fighter. Aye, so we be. Grom said just as Tie''sha staggered up to him and nodded. Yes. Where is she, where is Lady Alyce? Tie''sha said. Again, there was that regretful look on the red-haired man''s face. I... I''m sorry. He said. Next to him, Tie''sha fell to her knees and started to weep. Putting a hand on her back, Grom patted her carefully a few times. Even if she''s dead, there''s no way she''s dead. he said, then he put his sword away and walked over. I be Gromnir Redskull He said. The man before him affected a practiced bow and the girl courtsied as though she were a noble. I am known as Halidon Whiterock, a swordsman and an adventurer. ithne. The sea-weed haired girl said. Silence hung heavy in the air as they took each others measures. Then the red-haired swordsman stepped forward and lowered his head. I''m sorry, but there was nothing we could do for her. He said quietly. Next to him, the sea-weed girl quivered quietly, a pent up bundle of emotions. Show me. Grom said. He knew Alyce wasn''t dead. Because... because she had to be alive. Halidon Whiterock went over to the bundle wrapped in cloth and knelt there. Grom followed him over, staring down. This close, he could clearly see the outline of a young girl in the wrappings. He fought down the sick feeling in his stomach, choosing to believe. He had to believe. Even if she was dead, there was no way she actually died. He kept repeating this in his head to convince himself, even as the swordsman unwrapped her mutilated body. Oh no... this is terrible. Tie''sha said, falling to her knees next to Alyce''s body. Truth be told, it didn''t look good. Alyce was missing an arm and a large part of her chest was just a big hole with splintered chunks of rib in a bloody red soup of internal organs. Tie''sha began weeping quietly next to where the lass lay, and the two strangers took a distance to let the two of them grieve. This is ridiculous. Grom muttered, going over to Alyce. Stop crying Tie''sha, she''s just resting. The maid looked up at him with tears in her eyes. How can you say that! Can''t you see her? There''s no way anyone would be alive like that. She''s got no pulse, no heartbeat, nothing! She''s dead... no... oh no... lady Alyce... dead... The maid broke down, weeping uncontrollably. Meanwhile, he was considering what he knew of ghouls and the undead. First of all, she would be weaker in sunlight. An ordinary undead would burn and eventually die, but Alyce hadn''t seemed to mind the sunlight. Despite that, she no doubt carried the curse as all undead did. To what extend it affected her, he knew not, but it was certainly a factor. So first of all he should move her out of the sun. Secondly, an undead ghoul was a creature of hunger. It consumed the flesh of the fallen. Where ever there was a battlefield, you''d find ghouls eating away at the corpses of the slain. When he had first seen Alyce, she had looked even worse than she did right now, and yet she''d been able to move around. She told him that she had fixed up her body. And ghouls needed to eat. The conclusion was obvious. Alyce would be hungry when she woke up. She''d tried her best to cook for him once before. He had to return the favor. The question was how? What would she eat? Would monsters be okay or should he try to hunt deer? He was afraid of leaving her alone here with these people because they would think she was dead and bury her in the earth, or worse yet, try to burn her on a funeral pyre. Yeah... there wasnae a way he''d let that happen. The dungeon it was then. Gently, Grom reached down and picked her up. Tie''sha stood quietly, sniffling and looking at him. Pressing Alyce to his chest in a princess carry, he began the walk back towards the dungeon. The two strangers, Halidon whiterock and ithne, stood and watched him solemnly, regret showing on their faces. He reached the dungeon just as Rivanna made it out as the first of the kid-squad. They looked at him in horror, or rather, at Alyce. Stupid useless runts. He briefly considered simply slaughtering them and giving them to Alyce, but he had to maintain some semblance of morals lest he end up like his sister. Slaughter and murder was alright, but indiscriminate slaughter? That was no good. You had to be able to discriminate between friend and foe, ally and enemy. Unlike his damned sister... fucking psychopathic bitch. You just did not betray your own flesh and blood, your own tribe. It was the lowest of low actions, the most disgusting shameful act ever. Grom, wait. Tie''sha called. The girl was a total mess despite the fact that she''d only known Alyce a short time. The lass had a strange effect on people, he had to admit. What? He grunted, not even looking back at her. Where... where are you taking her? Tie''sha asked. Back to the dungeon. There be more food fer'' her there. Grom said, starting forward again. Behind him, Tie''sha cried out. But she''s dead! She''s an undead ghoul. Do you really think a measly B ranked dungeon is enough to take her out? Come on Tie''sha, you should respect your master more. She is definitely just resting. Grom said, but he wasn''t going to stop any longer, so he continued back down the stairs and through the rubble of the throne room until he came upon the mass murdered monsters. Tie''sha didn''t follow. That was probably for the best. Perhaps the shock of learning that Alyce was a monster in the most literal sense of the world had gotten to her? He put the lass down near the huge cockatrice and then went over and dragged some of the more whole monsters near it, creating a veritable pile of monster corpses around her. It was almost like a fortress of meat, a shell of flesh. He squeezed through a gap in the mountain of monster corpses and closed it by throwing an ogre''s torso at the hole. It stuck there with a wet mushy thump. She was now totally enclosed by a huge all you could eat monster feast. The rest would be up to the lass. Because, she was definitely alive. She was fine. She was just resting. There wasnae a way in all hael that she''d been done in by the dungeon boss and actually died. He just had to wait for her like usual and she would revive and look at him and Tie''sha with that cute puzzled expression as she asked what was wrong with them. Gritting his teeth, Grom distanced himself from the pile of monster corpses, drew his sword and restlessly thumbed the sharp edge as he waited. Chapter 23 - The very uncute Alyce-chan correction project I become vaguely aware of a wet crunching munching sound. Slowly, my vision swirls and I blink a few times. The munching crunching stops. There''s a taste in my mouth. It''s so-so. Definitely not as delicious as the all you can eat bufft or the children, to say nothing of the candy apples and the honeycakes. No, this is just like a premade paper burger, edible but not particularly delectable. I was eating while I was asleep? No wonder I got a little bit chubby in my past life... wait, ignore that. I''m definitely not fat, alright? Alyce chan is slim salabim, okay? Goddamn it! I spit out the paper meat and clear my mouth with a powerful HNNG to make my drool overflow, but when I try to reach up and wipe my mouth, I realize that something is horribly wrong. I can''t use my arm. Looking down, I realize why. It''s simply gone and there''s also a huge hole in my chest. This is taking the flat chested loli washboard to a whole new level. That''s simpy no good. Who, just who molested Alyce-chan''s body so much? The scoundrels! I worked hard to create this cute body you know? And now it''s in ruins... uguu! The memories slowly come to me and I remember. It seems I went a little bit berserk, but I definitely didn''t go overboard, okay? Goddamn it!
Congratulations, you have leveled up x45
Call of the Grave Queen: +33 cons, +24 str, +9 dex, +11 int
Congratulations! You have defeated the B- ranked dungeon of red corruption, Almutramys.
Ping! Congratulations. You have gained the title: The Undying.
Ping! Death Energy Manipulation has leveled up.
Ping! Summoning Magick has leveled up x2.
Ping! Dark Energy Manipulation has leveled up.
Ping! Telekinesis has leveled up.
Ping! Drain Life has leveled up x2.
Ping! Blast wave has leveled up.
Ping! Darkbolt has leveled up x2.
Ping! Death energy absorption has leveled up x3.
Ping! Death and decay has leveled up.
Ping! Summon Raven Familiar has leveled up x2.
Ping! Summon rare Imp Familiar has leveled up.
Ping! Summon Rare Fire Elemental has leveled up.
Attention! Due to your status as a mythic level monster, take over of the dungeon is possible. Take over Y/N? Warning, if you don''t take over the dungeon within a week, it will become a wild dungeon and start over at level 1.
Attention! You have found a suitable hideout for your witch coven. Make Almutramys your witch coven sanctuary? Error: You haven''t created a witch coven yet, create one now?
Warning: You have consumed a large amount of biomass exceeding current carrying capacity. Recommended action: Regenerate body.
The system-chan attack was very severe this time, and I have almost no time to prepare for it. My eyes roll back and my vision grows dark as the world swirls around me in a vortex of colour. I feel my body crumbling to the ground in a heap. With a powerful HNNG I exude my willpower and fight the system-chan attack. This time, this time for sure, Alyce-chan will prevent the fainting. The darkness came. I wake up just as my forehead smacks into the floor and my nose goes crunch crack with a wet sound. Well, I only fainted a little bit this time. I am making progress. Still, my poor nose-chan is broken now too. It doesn''t hurt that much, but it''s just one more thing on my to fix list. Well, first of all I have to fix my body. It won''t do to leave myself in this state of extreme uncuteness. Alyce-chan has to be an idol of adorability, you know? And that is definitely a proper word, alright? Don''t you dare tell me my adorability level is low! Alyce-chan''s adorability level is very high, you know? It is just on a temporary hiatus, but with the power of hnng I shall soon restore the adorability level to max. Actually, since I have so much biomass I can even add to my adorability level. I already have the oni horns of extreme cuteness and the adorable japanese style horizontal elf ears. Perhaps what I am missing is a succubus style tail or something. But first, let me take a selfie. I mean, let me fix up my body! I unattach my face from floor-chan and rectify my posture so that I am sitting in a cross-legged pose. Next, I let out a very powerful hnng and activate flesh manipulation, and that is definitely not an innuendo. As before back in the child corpse cellar, I feel my body tingling as it restores itself. The creepy crawly feeling all over my skin makes every single inch of my body itch, and I resist the urge to writhe about and uguu a lot as I try to scratch my body all over. I just have to endure it for a little while, come on come on. Yes, finished! No longer is there a huge gaping hole in my ribcage, and the right hand of Alyce-chan has been magnificently restored as well. I need it for the nugi-nugi later. Ah, come to think of it, Poor Tie''sha, I attacked her. I have to make it up to her somehow. But still, even after I''ve fully restored my loli body, I still have a lot of biomass left over from the pile of monsters, and actually there''s still a wall of rotting monster flesh surrounding me although it doesn''t look very appetizing. In this kind of situation there is only one thing that I can do. I must add to my adorability level by getting a cute succubus-style tail! There is no other option, you know? It''s definitely not weird to want a cute succubus tail with a heart-shaped tip on the end like in Japanese Anime! So with a nostalgic feeling, I close my eyes and imagine a cute succubus tail, all black and thin and cute, with a heart shaped tip. I feel a little pin prick and tingling sensation right above my butt. Then I remember that I am in fact wearing clothes, but before I can take them off, the tail grows, sprouting from me like a rapidly growing beanstalk, and that is definitely not an innuendo either, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, the succubus tail magnificently punches through my pants and exits on the other side.
Congratulations, you have used flesh manipulation to create: Legendary Succubus pleasure organ. A succubus is a demon that has many ways of draining the energy of others and this tail is one of them.
What a strange description, and why is the box pink! Still, I have a tail now, a cute prehensile easily movable, flexible and cute and amazing tail! It is long enough that I can move it in front of me and study it, so that''s what I do. It feels just like an extra limb and is surprisingly easy to move. I thought I had to get used to it first, but it seems I can manage well even without practicing a bunch first. The cause must definitely be my extreme elegance bleeding over. Alyce-chan is amazing, right? Still, why does this heart-shaped tip look like a butt plug, and why does it seem like I can enlarge it at will? Let''s test it later, is what I want to say, but perhaps it''s better not to test it and instead leave the tail alone. It seems like a dangerous weapon in an entirely different sense. Coughing a few times into my hand, I get to my feet and wrap my tail securely around my midsection. Yes, let''s think of it as a cute and fashionable new belt, not a pleasure organ. Un. Still, there''s so much monster meat here. I don''t even feel that hungry anymore. Besides, it tastes kind of crap compared to human or honeycake. Oi, why are you looking at me like that? Both humans and honeycakes are delicious, alright? It''s just the truth, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, I fight my way through the wall of meat wondering how I ended up in here. The last memory I have is defeating the creepy bandaged orb mummy thingie in my berserker mode and next thing I know, I wake up here in the monster meat igloo. I squeeze myself through an opening in the monster corpse barrier with a pop. I almost stumble and fall, but I don''t faceplant because I am extremely elegant now, yes yes. Fufufu, so great and cool I am. Still, that was a close call, but I am not clumsy so it''s okay. I take a deep breath and dust my clothes off trying to exude my supreme coolness, because I am definitely cool, you know? I am extremely awesome, a corpse loli with horns and elf ears. I even have a tail now! athough it''s classified as a pleasure organ which his slightly dubious, but let''s ignore that for now and just rejoice that I have gained an extra limb. I see a very delicious looking hairy meat pie slumped against a wall in the distance. I feel my face tug into a wide smile as I bounce up to Grom. It seems he is sleeping. He looks tired, his hand is gripping his glowing blue sword even with his eyes closed. When I get closer, I can hear snoring and every time he breathes in, part of beard-chan disappears up his nose and when he breathes out, beard-chan is propelled out of his nose like foooh! This repeats itself a few times. Although Grom has no doubt had it tough, I must admit he has balls of steel to be sleeping in a place like this, but perhaps he was just too tired. He was probably also comforted by my amazing presence, for what kind of monster would dare try to steal my hairy meat pie from me, huh? That''s right, only boner-kun would be so bold as to attempt to eat my hairy meat pie. But Grom is mine and I am saving him for later. I won''t hand him over to the bonerlord lars rick, or whatever that stupid skeleton was called. Although it''s fascinating and mezmerising to watch Grom''s nose repeatedly eat and throw up poor beard-chan, I decide to wake my hairy meat pie. I inhale deeply, sucking in as much air as I can, making my small chest bulge like a baloon. Atleast that''s how I am imagining I look. I sucked in a lot of air after all. I walk up to Grom and move my face close to his sleeping face. The suu, haa, suu haa of beard-chan is still going on, but I manage to put myself nose to nose with him so my eyes are level with his closed eyelids. Then I open my mouth. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I shout. Grom''s eyes shoot open and then he headbutts me with panic in his eyes. The headbutt is ridiculously powerful and with my forehead smacked, I fly back like a ragdoll and bounce a few times on the ground rolling around. Now my clothes got even more dirty. I get back to my feet and look over to find Grom staring wide-eyed at me, the sword he was holding fell clanking to the floor and he is just gaping at me.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. Cocking my head to the side, I stick out my tongue at him. Then I repeat. Fuck? Fuck fuck?! For a moment, Grom''s facial expression is frozen in surprise, but soon he starts laughing. It''s a bit embarrassing for me, but I actually also laughed. I only giggled a little bit, alright? It definitely wasn''t a deep, heaving, crippling belly laugh, okay? Goddamn it! Fucking hell lass, I almost shat meself, don''t be scarin'' me like that. Grom said as he laughed. Once the two of us have recovered, Grom picks up his sword and sheathes it. Glad to see ye be as spunky as ever. Took ye awhile there lass. Grom says. The battle was a bit crazy, of course I had to take a nap. I say, walking over to him. But you know Grom, after the most recent system-chan attack, I only fainted for a second, it was amazing progress. Soon I will be able to defeat system-chan and claim my rightful place on top of the world. I say with a smile. I am happy. After all, I am overcoming obstacles one at a time at an amazing pace, godlike! Brilliantly goodly great, advance of the amazing Alyce-chan. Grom is quite silent. You can praise me more, you know? I say, once more sticking out my tongue at him. It would be bad if it became a habit, so I stop it before I can become too addicted to it like the tehehe. Aye... ye did well lass. Grom says after awhile. He even reached out and patted me on the head. I was a bit disappointed that he didn''t slap me, but since he headbutted me, I will overlook it this once and let him pat me. So uhm, where''s Tie''sha and what happened after? I ask, and Grom explains the aftermath of my epic struggle with the bandaged orb. I wipe phantom sweat from my brow. I wouldn''t put it past them to have burned my body. That''s dangerous. Let''s faint in a more secure location next time. Wait, I don''t want that. Let''s use HNNG power to avoid the fainting altogether! Yes, un. I... I have a few things I''d like to take care of before going back. I say. Grom nods in understanding. Ye leveled up quite a bit there, didn''t ye? Grom says. I reply with a smile. Yep! And that''s not all. Since I am a mythic level monster, I took this dungeon over. It''s mine now, you know? I say, but actually I haven''t claimed it yet. Quickly, I mentally click yes to the prompt and a refreshing sensation flows through me. Then the dungeon starts shaking like there''s an earthquake. What by the seven beards! Grom exclaims and I follow his gaze. The huge pile of monster corpses are disappearing.
Congratulations! You have claimed the B- ranked dungeon Almutramys for your own. You can access the dungeon menu using the command, dungeon. Rename Y/N?
Of course, I clicked yes in my mind.
Confirm dungeon name change: The Sanguine Lair?
Yes! Once the change was complete, I grin. I have to say I''m quite satisfied with this development. I am on a fast track to becoming a splendid boss monster. Although please spare me from the guard duty, I don''t want to just stand in the last room of the dungeon and wait for adventurers to attack me. Regarding the name, I am also happy. I had to add the lair in there because I used to love WoW and I have good memories of raiding blackwing lair so I wanted to make my own. Although I can''t lay eggs, I will still make it my lair in a sense, since this will become the headquarters of my future witch coven. Lass, what in the blazes did ye do? What did ye just say!? Grom says but I am a bit confused. What do you mean? I''m gonna sort out my dungeon and my level ups. I don''t think that merits such a loud shout of disbelief. I say. No ye daft little cunt. Ye said mythic level monster. What by the breadcrumb-ridden beard is that? Grom looks really excited, very red faced and his eyes are also bulging. Perhaps his diarrhea has returned and he has to evacuate the undercarriage. After all, he has been holding it in since the beach landing after the lintball expedition, he must be ready to explode by now. Poor Grom-san is in denial. Perhaps I shall help his bum along with some prune juice, but I don''t have it readily on hand so he will have to endure for now. Uhm, yeah. I''ve got four plus signs next to my monster rank, which is now D by the way. It took me so long to get the D, but I finally got it. It''s great. I say with a smile. But my smile sours quickly because my level is 99 and not 100. System-chan... what have you done, you bitch. How dare you troll me like this! Don''t you know that I can choose a third class at level 100, and that I will get another trait and talent point as well? Goddamn it! Yeah that, I haven''t heard of that before. I know of a few legendary monsters, but I''ve never heard a'' mythic level monsters before. Grom says. His jaw seems to have become dislocated, or perhaps beard-chan is just stretching and waking up, maybe finally becoming sentient after eating Grom''s nosehair, would that count as cannibalism? I don''t know. That''s right. I''m mythical. Alyce-chan is amazing, you know? Fufufu, praise me, for I am your overloli. I say, taking on a noble-lady pose as I fufufu with one hand covering my mouth. My elegance is overflowing, but Grom still looks like he has to poo. It seems his posterior perils won''t be so easily relieved. Well, I''ve got a system-chan to contend with Grom, so go on ahead and tell Tie''sha I will be coming up to nugi nugi her to sleep later. Wait, actually... I did something bad and attacked her before. I have to apologize to her and make it better somehow... I say, trailing off. I don''t think she blames ye. Grom says. But I get ye. I''ll go up and tell her ye be alright. She broke down and cried a lot when she saw ye. I made her go through something terrible... I say. It ain''t yet fault lass. Grom replies. It was partially my fault. I went berserk there, and I wasn''t in control of myself and many things happened... I need to learn to control myself better. Grom nodded quietly and left me alone in the dungeon to do what must be done. First, I assigned my attributes. 400 points went straight to intelligence and 95 went to wisdom. With dismay I realized that it was indeed as I predicted before. My intelligence stat has been overtaken by constitution now. Well, I''m happy that I am so sturdy for a mage, but I am definitely not just a fat meatshield, you know? I''m also a splendid mage with very high intelligence, okay? Goddamn it! Next up was the problem of the witch coven. It sounded so cool, but I hadn''t been able to create my witch coven before now. However, now it seems I''ve unlocked the ability somehow. System-chan works in mysterious ways. What are you, a god? Get out of here! Stupid system-chan, uguu!
Create Coven: Unseen Death?
Yes. Let''s go witch coven. Evil organization, GET. Fufufu, a small step towards world domination, but a large step for Alyce-chan''s coolness factor. It''s definitely very cool, you know?
Congratulations, you have created the Coven of Unseen Death. You can access the Coven menu using the command, Coven.
Ping! New title acquired: High-Witch.
Attention! You are now able to claim the Dungeon, The Sanguine Lair, as a coven hideout. Claim now? Y/N?
System-chan, you know I can''t resist! Of course I mentally acquiesced and yes''d. In my vision there''s suddenly a coven menu with many options. I can set up coven branches, and divide the coven however I want aswell as make custom ranks for my minions. It is a good tool for later when I have to build my evil organization for world domination, but for now I leave it alone. I have to get some coven members first, and besides, my stats! My status!
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Witch of the burning horizon Psionic Scion
The Undying High-Witch
Monster Rank: D++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon(Succubus)/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 99
Character Status
Health: 13253 Mana: 34887 Stamina: 7103 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 77 Intelligence: 1021 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 46 Wisdom: 241 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 1279 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Poison: 100% Curse: 99%
Talents
Master Summoner 10% of your int added to the overall stats of your summons
Preparation Can store spells for instant use later. Gains an additional spell storage slot every 200 int. Twice the spells cost reserved in MP
Demonic Embrace Summoned demons gain 10% of your max HP as extra life.
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception but 100m max.
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Habeas corpus (Undead) Your unholy undead presence seeps deeply into your flesh, increasing your overall co-ordination and control and making you feel more at home in your undead body
Firebrand (Demon) +7% fire affinity -11% water affinity.
Blood Frenzy (Ghoul) The more health points you lose, the higher your melee damage becomes.
Pleasures of the flesh (Succubus) You can enhance the pleasure you and others feel.
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 6 Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Mana Sense 3 The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 5 The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 7 An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Telepathy 1 An advanced magic skill that allows the user to send thoughts to those near her. Innate unique skill. Level up to establish mental links for two-way communication.
Death Energy Manipulation 7 The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Fire manipulation 6 The ability to freely manipulate the element of fire.
Dark Energy Manipulation 4 The ability to control the mysterious dark energy. The power of the void, a high warlocks specialty.
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 5 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 4 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Summon Rare Fire Elemental 4 (Active) Summon a rare fire elemental to immolate your adversaries.
Darkbolt 5(Active) Gather a heavy mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Fireball 1(Active) Gather a ball of fire and hurl it at your enemies. Explodes on impact.
Conflagrate 4(Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Blast Wave 2(Active) Fire erupts from your body in a circular shockwave, burning enemies and buying you time.
Fire wall 6(Active) Create a wall of fire to prevent your enemies from fleeing as you burn them to ash.
Blazing Barrier 1(Active) A barrier of fire, reducing incoming damage. Burns whatever comes into contact with it.
Death Energy Absorption 6 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 2(Active) Curse your enemies, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 4(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock since death is also your domain.
Fire Enchantment 1(Active) The Witch imbues something with fire, increasing the damage it deals.
Death and Decay 2 (Active) By your will, everything will rot, decay and die away.
The verdict is in. After a long court case, trial and judgement by jury, we have found Alyce-chan guilty of being extremely awesome and cool. Yes. Now let''s head up to see Tie''sha and console her. I really want to cheer her up somehow, so let''s go up to the surface and see what everyone is up to. Chapter 24 – Out of the dungeon and into the fire. My clothes are all torn up and full of dust and dirt and my waist-long white hair is in dire need of a combing. Ah... I want a legendary super epic comb of knot neutralization to smooth out my hair. But of course, it''s only a bit messy. It''s definitely not bed hair, alright?! I wasn''t doing anything suspicious with Grom in my dungeon. Yes, let''s go with that. I''m going up to apologize to Tie''sha, so I am troubled. I guess I can''t help it since I don''t have any spare clothes here. Right now Alyce-chan is just a lowly proletarian since Grom has my huge treasure bag that I received from the Cornelives house, so I can only change out of my dirty torn clothes later. I didn''t notice it at first, but the poor BDSM outfit has been almost completely destroyed. It''s kind of a given since I had such a huge hole in my chest. Cheeky bastard, trying to make my flat chest even flatter by making it concave! The scoundrel. I resist the urge to raise an angry Alyce-chan fist to the heavens. For up there in heaven is system-chan. And system-chan trolled me by leaving me at level 99 instead of letting me level up to 100. Aaaagh. I walk slowly up the stairs from the dungeon, my dungeon, the sanguine lair. So cool! Yes, let''s focus on the positive part. I got myself a nice new toy. And I am not referring to my succubus tail, alright?! As I walk up the stairs, my head spins with how to apologize, what will happen and so on. I planned on telling Tie''sha that I was undead eventually, but... I just never got around to it. I certainly didn''t mean to hide it from her or anything, it just happened. I''m definitely not disingenuous, okay? Goddamn it! Besides, it shouldn''t be such a big deal, right? Just because I am an undead, doesn''t mean you can lump me in with the bonerlord lars rick. We are two very different kinds of undead. One is an evil overlord bent on world domination, and the other is stupid bonerlord lars rick. Speaking of the goddamn it, I feel like I''ve been using it a lot lately. I like it more than the tehehe, the tehepero and even the ahegao double peace. Please excuse this habit, okay? Go..god... goddamn it! I can''t help it. OKAY? Go... god.... damn it! I can''t resist it. Alyce-chan is only human, so please forgive her for this minor transgression. Uhm, now undead, deceased but alive. What a strange world I live in. Ahen. I am a bit nervous about meeting Tie''sha after attacking her, but I bite my lip and squeeze my fists real tight to try and stop the shakes even though I am definitely not shaking and there''s no way I''m nervous, okay?! When I emerge from the dungeon, the red glow from the low hanging afternoon sun cuts into my eyes, slice and dice. For a moment, I am caught in a squint, but then activate my super Alyce-chan special byakugan eyes and forcefully widen them to the max. My super eyes adjust almost immediately. They are great after all. Fufufu. In the distance near a wall of trees, there are two people. I vaguely remember them from the dungeon but I don''t know their names. They are both alive even though I thought the redhaired guy would die after getting stabbed in the back. The girl with sea-weed hair must have some pretty good healing skills. Ah, it seems they have noticed me. Let''s try waving at them. The harmless Alyce-chan greeting. I wave vigorously with my right hand. When I get no reaction, I wave with my left hand... but what''s this? Why are they just staring at me? I try waving like the queen of England, but that also seems ineffective. As a last resort, I make my arms soft like jelly and wave them like my arms are snakes, kind of similar feeling as the Cornelives fatherlord owowo shaky handshake. There''s no reaction. They are like frozen statues. The succubus tail probably added so much cuteness to Alyce-chan that it incapacitated them. Fufufu, I am the almighty overloli of unlimited cuteness with an adorability level of over 9000. I guess it was just too much for them to handle. It definitely had nothing to do with my waving technique, alright? There''s absolutely nothing wrong with the Alyce-chan waving method, okay? Goddamn it! While I am thinking up a plan to slightly reign in my cuteness so that I can talk with these two people, I approach them. Deep in thought, I fail to notice the exact moment when I arrived in front of them. I am just suddenly standing there right in front of the two adventurers or whatever they are. The convenient Alyce-chan lost in thought teleportation technique. There''s deep silence. Then I hear a gulp and the sea-weed haired girl takes a step back. Cocking my head to one side, I ask Grom? The tall red-haired swordsman sucks in a sharp breath. He... he chased after that maid.Th-they ran... The red-haired guy trails off, pointing at the small dirt road leading out of this clearing. He seems overly nervous for some reason, but I don''t know why. I saved them, so why are they afraid? Okay. I''m Alyce by the way. You? I ask, trying to greet them normally. It''s important to be polite, you know? Even though I want to chase after Tie''sha right away, I know my hairy meat pie has it under control. Probably. Actually, I should go. I am suddenly nervous again. Un. Let''s hurry and go to Tie''sha. The swordsman opens his mouth to reply, but I am already skipping past him in a sprint, my leather boots kicking up dust on the road behind me. I''m looking forward to changing out of my ruined BDSM costume and back into cute girl attire, but for now I am still in BDSM adventurer mode. Like that, I storm off following the tiny snaking path through the forest. It seems this dungeon exit is halfway up the mountain on some sort of peninsula-like platform? I don''t know. Dungeons are supposed to be fantastical, weird and unpredictable, right? So it''s probably okay. It makes sense... somehow... This path is snaking down a little ways. Off in the distance, I hear the gentle gurgling of a mountain stream. I continue running down the path, thankful for my extreme elegance making it possible to not trip over my feet. Yes, my feet are very fast and dextrous. They are making it so I can dash with expedience toward my goal of reclaiming my Tie''sha. I will not let her get away. Just like I won''t let my hairy meat pie go. I am saving him for later, after all. And as for Tie''sha, she will be the usual midnight snack... and my honeycake comrade. Therefore, I must obtain her. Alyce-chan GO go go! Gotta go fast. Running like Sonic and cornering like initial Deja''vu, I channel the 90''s and drift magnificently down the touge. Even though it''s just a small winding footpath, in my mind I am going down Akina touge in my hachiroku. Yes. The sound of the stream is getting louder and louder as I follow the path, and eventually something that sounds suspiciously like a waterfall roars in the distance. It''s either a waterfall or a horse pissing really hard. Maybe it''s Grom. But... well, a waterfall is more likely. Although Grom has been holding it in a lot lately, but well. I guess I will see what is up ahead. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. The path seems to be leading towards the roaring rush. There must be a cliff close by aswell to facilitate the foaming drop of waterfall-chan, if that is indeed the source of the splashings up ahead. Suddenly anxious, I dash forward even faster than before. There''s no way Tie''sha would be like me in my past life, often contemplating whether I should face my fear of high places by jumping off a bridge or skyscaper, right? I managed to live so long without commiting suicide, but my end came suddenly when I was captured by Frank in his basement. It''s strange how life works sometimes. Fufufu, I am like Obi-wan. Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine! So Tie''sha is definitely not gonna jump off the cliff because of me, right? That would be so stupid. She is too fluffy with her ears and tail to die early. Definitely. Still I run faster to try and reach Tie''sha and Grom. Grom is so fast, so there''s no way he would be unable to catch Tie''sha. Still, I can''t leave it to fate. I must dash! Dash dash! Finally I break through a clearing of trees. I can see the sky in front of me, and a waterfall off to the side, white foam bubbling on the crystalline surface of the crisp cold mountain water as it rushes down in a free fall. It''s like my mouth when I am eating honeycakes, so I know Tie''sha is near. She must be. My elfin ears pick up some sound waves in the distance, groovy. Except that the sound waves consist of shouting and crying. Oi, that ain''t so groovy. I commence the Alyce-chan dash dash dash towards the distant sounds in the hopes of catching myself a raw and unadulterated Tie''sha with which to soothe my broken soul. Or maybe I just want to nugi-nugi her fluffy ears more and eat honeycakes with her again. I really must get around to that heist so I can get me some capital with which to buy honeycakes. The money from the Cornelives house is obviously for my coven, you know? Anyway, I reach Grom and Tie''sha, emerging from the trees around 40 yards from the cliff-san near the waterfall. The whoosh of the waterfall in the background does not distract me from the fact that Tie''sha is on the ground, on her knees and crying, hiding her head in her hands as she weeps. Grom stands over her, a hand on her back. I''m tellin'' ye, it''s true. Grom says sounding more careful than usual. Tie''sha sniffs and rubs at her teary face. Im... impossible. Why do you keep saying that. It''s nothing but wishful thinking. Tie''sha looks up at Grom with red eyes as she says this. I really have done something terrible. To make such a cute fluffy-eared maid cry with red eyes and sniffle so much. It''s horrific. Although I feel a sucking pinprick in my chest like I''ve been stabbed, I will not let anxiety reap my soul, for I am Alyce-chan the overloli, the contrarian''s contrarian and the strange person''s strange person, you know? How can I lose to mere anxiety?! Taking a deep breath, I start walking slowly towards Grom and Tie''sha. It takes them a moment to notice me. Grom sees me first and lets out a huge sigh of relief. Ah lass, ye finally got here. Was afraid Tie''sha would just up and jump off... Grom says. When Tie''sha notices me, her beautiful golden eyes still glistening with tears go wide as her jaw slackens. A... Alyce! she shouts so loudly that it makes me start, and then before I know it, there is a cute animal-eared maid charging towards me with red eyes as she sniffles and cries. All the anxiety that I felt before evaporates like a stone lifted from my chest, and I spread my arms wide to welcome my honeycake comrade. Tie''sha crashes into me sniffling and crying and squeaking and making other pathetic animalistic whimpering noises. We both topple to the ground in a heap. Alyce, you''re alive. Alyce... Alyce! Alyce! Tie''sha keeps repeating over and over again as she hugs me, burying her face in my chest and inhaling loudly. I guess she is making certain of her master''s scent. I have heard that some animals can recognize their owner by scent. Not that I own her or anything, but still, she is sniffing me hard and it seems to be making her so comfortable that her body is turning into soft jelly-like goo. Dop dop, I gently pat her head. I''m sorry to have worried you Tie''sha. I''m sorry I attacked you... I''m sorry. Oh no, my eyes hurt. The bloody tears are coming again. I try to stop the tears with a HNNG but it is no good. They are gushing forth just like the waterfall next to me. Not! There''s definitely no way that the strong cool Alyce-chan is crying, okay? Goddamn it! Only a little bit, alright? Just a few tears. A few drops... Hugging my Tie''sha close, I gently run my fingers across her ears in a nostalgic little nugi-nugi and enjoy the reaction of my maid squirming. Then I notice how Tie''sha''s tail is swishing back and forth like a very happy dog, it''s so cute and fluffy. I want to give her tail a thorough nugi-nugi as well, but I have to save that for later just like I am saving Grom for later. Speaking of Grom, he is standing in the background and looking like he has to fart, with a red face and everything. The legendary master of holding it in has still not given up, it seems. Just how many days can he hold out, I wonder. I am definitely not using Grom to distract from the fact that I am shaking and crying. That''s why I gently detach myself from Tie''sha and walk over to Grom. Since he is just staring at me with a red face, I puff out my cheeks. I may look a bit weird with trails of bloody tears running down my cheeks, but let''s very forcefully ignore that, alright?! Yes. So Grom, where''s the bag? Your overloli requires a change of clothes, you know? I ask. This seems to bring Grom out of his revelrie and he shakes his head a few times. While Grom.exe is rebooting, I walk over to the waterfall and kneel down to wash my face. After all, I have to remove the bloody evidence. Cupping my small pale hands, I scoop some water up and splash it on my face. After a few splishy splashies of crisp crystal water, I think most of the blood is gone. However, my hands are small and thus can only hold small portions of water, so for the final push to get rid of the evidence, I bury my head in the rushing waterfall stream. This turns out to have been a bad idea. Almost immediately, the stream attacks me, pulling me into the water with a loud plasque. Splishy-splashing around in the water, I try to reach the bank and drag myself up. Unfortunately, the stream is too strong and I get pulled along against my will. Ahead of me, the sheer, steep drop makes me gasp. I really, really hate heights. But I''m definitely not afraid of heights, okay? You hear me?! I only dislike steep cliffs, you know? Goddamn it! Just as I am about to go over the edge of the waterfall, I feel a hand grabbing me and pulling me out of the water. It''s a big hairy meat pie. If he is a huge hairy bear, then I am a little fish in the steam. I''m glad I got caught though. Little does the big hairy bear know that he is not in fact going to eat the fish he caught. I am going to be the one eating him! Fufufu, yes. By the way, that is not an innuendo. It''s definitely normal to want to eat the hairy meat pie that you''re saving for later, okay? Goddamn it! My head swims dizzily as Grom puts me down on the ground. The swoosh swooshing sensation in my head passes slowly, but it eventually goes away. Thankfully. It seems I am getting better at not fainting. Amazingly goodly great progress, you know? But still... I... I really don''t like heights. I say weakly. Although my power is quickly surging back to me, both Grom and Tie''sha are looking at me with wide eyes. Why are you staring at me like that? Cliff richards is a scary opponent, but I was saved from having to deal with it, you know? I say, cocking my head to the side. Grom coughs and averts his gaze. It reminds me of the time when I was eating candy apples in front of him. Lass... clothes... Grom says, and I look down to find that river-chan has all but eaten my entire BDSM costume, what little was left of it anyways. This left me wearing only my soaked through panties and my black boots. This is very not PG-13, so I order you to immediately go bring me a change of clothes. Go! I say, waving my hand at Grom. He all but sprints away from me and I am left alone with my Tie''sha, wearing nothing but wet panties and thigh-high black boots. It is a very strange combination. T-tail? Tie''sha asks. Fufufu, that''s right. I got a tail in the dungeon. Isn''t it awesome? I say, moving it around and waving it in front of her. It''s okay to be proud. After all, I used flesh manipulation to create this cute thing. My... my lady, that tail... looks like a succubus pleasure organ. Tie''sha says, her face is becoming beet red as well, but I won''t even contemplate the idea that she is like Grom. My Tie''sha is a pure and unadulterated angel, after all. Well... that''s what it''s called but let''s ignore it. I say. It''s no good to get caught up in testing my tail. The sun is setting and I am only wearing panties. The wind is going woooosh and making my long white hair dance. What sort of strange Lion King cliff is this, with me standing here and looking cool in the wind. Although it''s a bit hard to look cool wearing only panties, but surely the big black boots help, right? Suddenly, Tie''sha turns toward Cliff richards and sucks in a breath. What''s that? She asks. Biting my lip, I very carefully walk over to the edge of the cliff, one reluctant step at a time. I have to face my fears, you know? Down at the base of the mountain, there''s what appears to be a mass exodus of people. In the center, a lot of commoners with caravans and wagons and in a circle around them there''s an army. Soldiers riding horses and other strange animals, brandishing swords and staves and bows. It''s a people on the move, fleeing in a hurry. I can just imagine the shouting and the hustle and bustle, the sounds of their hurried retreat. But from what are they running? Grabbing hold of Tie''shas hand to steady myself, I peer down the cliff and off into the distance. What I see... is a boner-kun army on the march. Ah, my old nemesis. Yes, you heard that right. My nemesis is not system-chan or the fainting attacks. It is bonerlord lars rick. A very large army of boners is heading my way. Those damned people below have pulled aggro and are dragging a huge pack of mobs towards me! I don''t want my party to wipe here since we just got out of the dungeon. At least die with honor, scrubs. Don''t kite a train of mobs to me! Guh. Is what I would like to say... But perhaps I should help them. Even if only to eat them later. At least I can''t let the lich guy have them. No, that''s right. They are my meal. Mine. But first, clothes. Although the wind is rapidly drying my panties, it is still dangerous. Just like with the honeycakes, one must have the appropriate attire for the occasion. And in case of a battle, I''m pretty sure it''s no good to only be wearing panties and black boots. Even though Alyce-chan is very open minded and cool, I still have some standards to maintain. Namely my mysterious aura of awesome coolness. Being mysterious and cool while only wearing panties into battle would be very difficult, so I am thinking perhaps I should wear the big black sith cloak. Ah... I hope Grom returns soon, because at this rate, the people below are going to get caught by the boner army. Chapter 25 – 崖の上のアリスちゃん Once upon a time, there was an Alyce-chan standing atop a cliff, her hair caressed by the wind , wearing nothing but her underwear. She had even removed her big black leather boots because she was preparing to put on new clothes. Her trusty servant, the hairy meat pie, would be bringing her a change of clothing soon and so she thought it would be okay to remove the boots. Her maid, the cute Tie''sha, eyed the boots oddly but the amazing Alyce-chan had no time to add a further appendix to her collection of notes about the strange fetishes of her lesbiotic servant. That was for later. Right now, the magnificent Alyce-chan was waiting for clothes... her hairy meat pie would be bringing them. That''s how my story was supposed to go, but why is there a veritable army of side characters following Grom?! They are still far away, but they are coming nearer and nearer. I guess I will have to embrace being a flasher. Ah, it seems Grom has told them to wait near the tree line. Good good. Still, they can see me in the distance. All the girls are covering the boys eyes. The sea-weed girl is covering the red-haired swordsmans eyes, and uhn... the adventurer kids... I forgot their names. Actually, I didn''t even notice them when I came out of the dungeon. I thought they were just side characters destined to die, so I didn''t bother remembering them. I''m amazed they are still alive to be honest, but I guess nothing less could be expected since they accompanied the great me. Of course their survival was guaranteed. I guess I underestimated myself. Tehehe! Once I am fully clothed, let''s try to think about them a little more so I don''t forget them entirely. In the future, they might even become important snacks. I could use them as servants in my evil organization after I corrupt their mind with the Alyce-chan special loli beam. Fufufu, maybe the sight of me has already corrupted them. Let''s make sure. Walking a few steps towards Grom, I puff out of chest, raise my head to the skies, close my eyes and HNNNG to send out my special Alyce-chan loli beam of corruption. Gaze upon your overloli! Get corrupted so I can use you in my evil organization! Fufufu, the master plan. Thus I take my pose, fire my Alyce-chan beam and wait... and wait... and wait . I can hear someone approaching, but I keep holding my pose because I have to hurry up and HNNNG corrupt the side characters so they also become my servants. I need more manpower for my evil organization, so that''s why... Alyce-chan beam, WORK! Ah, my Witch coven of unseen death. It''s super extremely amazingly cool, you know? It is not at all a chuuni name, okay? Goddamn it! In any case, my pose is broken when Grom slaps me. It is only a gentle tap, but it brings me great joy. I spin with it, twirling around like a ballet dancer as I giggle. Stop actin'' like a mental patient already lass. Grom grumbles, holding out the Frodo Baggins full of goods from Mordor. Come to think of it, wouldn''t the LOTR ring of invijibility be a super overpowered item for a pervert? Let''s make sure Tie''sha doesn''t get her hands on such a ring in the future. Who knows what she might get up to if she had such a ring. By the way, doesn''t Lord of the Ring sound like some sort of homo-erotic rental movie? Ahen. It is time. Fishing around in the bag, I pull out a skirt, long white socks, mary jane shoes and an elegant blouse with long sleeves and frills everywhere. It is quite nice despite the fact that some items of clothing are remnants from the child corpse cellar. The blouse and nice long white socks are new, but the Mary Janes and the skirt are from the child corpse cellar. I should expect nothing less of the great me. Even my clothing is a great metaphor for my existence. Partly ex mortem and partly from the living. Still mindful of the fact that there''s an audience in the distance sneaking glances at me, or rather since Grom is obstructing me from view like the gentle hairy meat pie that he is, they are in fact staring at his hairy ass. Not that he is wearing ass-less chaps or anything. Hmm. I begin equipping my clothes. First the socks go on, then the blouse and then the skirt. Bending down, I slip my feet into the mary janes. Stealthily, I sneak peek on my audience.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. They are still looking this way... why do I have to dress with a bunch of kids watching me?! Is Grom''s hairy ass really so fascinating? Well, they don''t know if it''s hairy or not since he is wearing pants and not ass-less chaps, but if he really has a hairy arsehole, maybe he should''ve gone to rectum shavers. Ahen. The Alyce-chan clothing project has now been completed and my maidenly modesty has been restored to its former glory. What''s that you say? That I have no modesty and that I am not a maiden but a 30+ year old woman? Don''t make me come over there and choke you to death! I am definitely just a cute loli and not an old woman, okay? Goddamn it! Yes. Grom looks more relaxed now that I have clothes on again, and turns around to wave our audience over, although I think it''s fine if the side characters stay over there at the tree line, sidelined where they belong. My Tie''sha is watching me quietly... looking at her intense gaze, I get the feeling that there is something I''ve forgotten. What.. was it? Oh yeah, the people below who are under siege by the boner. Grom, come! I say, taking his hand and walking over to the cliff. I''m definitely not using him as an anchor because I am afraid of heights, alright?! What''s the matter with ye now, lass? Ye better not be thinking about diving off the cliff. No, I''d rather die. I hate heights, you know? I say, still steady on my feet although my legs are starting to shake a little bit. Normal people would die If they dove off. Grom says. Then again, ye be nae normal lass. That''s definitely praise from the meat pie, you know? It is an insult to be called normal, so therefore if Grom calls me not normal then that should be praise. It''s definitely praise, alright?! Guu! I clench my fist tighter around Grom. His hand is huge, so I can only grab two of his fingers at once, but that is enough to bring me a sense of security. Grasping Groms hairy sausage... fingers... in my hand... gives me the courage needed to walk to the edge of the cliff. Lass, if ye don''t like heights, why the fuck are ye walking over here. Grom asks, still confused. Just come. I say, biting my lip as I draw close to the edge. Getting a bit dizzy, I lean into Grom and hug his arm as I peer into the abyss. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. Uguu~ I make a strange sound, but after a few moments of dizziness, my vision clears and I can make out the people and the boner-kun army in the distance below. The rear part of the convoy is under attack by skeletons, and people are dying. It seems a bunch of soldiers decided to be brave and hold off the skeletons while the civilians flee further up the hill with a reserve of guards. How brave of them. Their deaths... It definitely isn''t my fault. I need clothes to go to battle, you know? The Alyce-chan story is already rather dangerous. No need to make it more dangerous by engaging in battles naked. Although... bathing in blood sounds kind of cool. Maybe I will install a blood bath in the Sanguine lair... Uh, I''m dizzy. I hate heights. Why am I so distracted and ditzy? What was I talking about again? That barnacle ridden pasty white rattlecage of a drum stick bastard! Grom shouts. His delicious swearing echoes out into the valley below. Momentarily, the combatants freeze and stop fighting. Chance! Grom, don''t you dare let go of me, okay? I bite my lip and move even closer to the edge so I have the best view possible. And then I draw deeply on my mana reserves, imagining a huge fire wall. I powered up a lot in the dungeon. A gain of 400 int isn''t something to sneeze at, you know? And I am level 99 right now to boot. Level 99 but not 100. System-chan, I won''t forgive you! Suddenly excited at the prospect of killing some boners in defiance of system-chans mockery and leveling up to reberu wan handred, I HNNG focus and cast, stretching out my hand towards the skeleton army and dumping a lot of mana into my spell. Thick waves of mana emanate from me, making the air feel a bit like jelly. Small rocks rise off of the cliff and float in the air as though I am a super saiyan in dragon ball. But let''s not Kamehameha. Instead, let''s FIREWALL! [Firewall] Sparks fly from my finger tips and ignite in a roar. Below, a long, thick line of orange is drawn across the landscape. A moment later it roars towards the skies in a blaze of glory. I focus my fire manipulation and pump more mana into my fire wall, making it even thicker. Fufufu, it must be atleast 30 meters tall and 5 meters thick. Alyce-chan is amazingly cool, you know? The soldiers seem to realize that this is their chance, and hurriedly retreat up the hill. A few of the deceitful little boners are trying to skirt round the edge of my magnificent wall. We can''t have that. Focusing intently with a HNNG, I extend the sides of my firewall and also curve it around the skeletons. It looks a bit like a huge tsunami wave of fire and it''s very cool! Yes. I will build a great wall! Fufufu. HNNG! I pour even more mana into it. It''s so magificent and cool. The wall grows higher, wider and hotter every second. I think I can hear the fire roaring from here. Ah that gives me a good idea. Focusing with another HNNNG and even more mana, I transform the Alyce-chan wall of fire into a tsunami of fire. It seems my fire manipulation is stretched to the edge, but I push forward, furrowing my brow. After all, Alyce-chan not only protecc, she also attacc, okay? Goddamn it! It all comes crashing down in a spitting, roaring blaze of glory as fire washes over the boner-kun army, decimating the front lines by bathing them in a magnificent ocean of fire. Suddenly, the dizziness is really really bad and I lose control of my legs. They just give, and I collapse like jelly to the ground. Thankfully, my faithful servant catches me and pulls me away from the abyss. Falling to the ground on my tooshie of a butt, I watch the world swirl around me in a dizzying haze for awhile. But thankfully, there is no fainting this time, only extreme dizziness. This too, will pass. Thus spake Alyce-chan, and it was good. But still, it seems the further away I try to cast my spells, the more mana they will require to work. Last time''s mana exhaustion was dangerous, so let''s be a bit more careful this time. I really don''t want any more mana exhaustions. Un. Once the headswirlies finally recede from my consciousness and I am able to see straight again, system-chan unleashes her secret ambush backstab attack on me and the Alyce-chan brain sustains critical damage.
Ping! You''ve slain x19 skeleton soldier of Arch-Lich Lord Lazarik.
Ping! Congratulations, you have leveled up x2
Ping! You have reached the first milestone, level 100. Third job class available! +1 trait point +1 talent point.
Ping! Through expert use of fire manipulation, you have created the spell. Great Firewall. It merges with firewall
Ping! Fire manipulation has leveled up!
Ping! Great Firewall has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations. Due to use of magic at extreme range, you have gained the passive skill: Artillery Mage 1. Reduces mana cost of spells cast at extreme range by 2%
This time, I am unable to retain my consciousness. Darkness bleeds my vision away and sends me into the dark abyss, even though I tried so hard not to fall. Goddamn it! Chapter 26 - Wish upon a honeycake. Maybe system-chan is trying to get back into my good graces after continuously attacking me with knockout punches, because I woke up almost as soon as I fainted. I knew it! It was progress after all. Fufufu. Soon system-chan won''t be able to lord it over me any longer. In the end, the overloli shall prevail. For now, I must grudgingly accept system-chan, but mark my words, in the future the system-chan will be overtaken by the Alyce-chan! Come to think of it, don''t I kind of have my own system? I''m thinking of the coven dungeon thingie. Ah, I really want to check it out. Grom is crouching down and reaching a hand out to me. I grab it and let him pull me up. Are ye alright lass? That was one hell of a firewall. I nod my head. Yeah, it was system-chan as usual, the little bitch. I will have my revenge one day, I swear! I will make her faint over and over again so she can feel my pain. I say, shaking my small fist at the heavens as Grom pulls me to my feet. On the bright side, I am now over level 100. I''m awesome, right? You can praise me more, you know? I say, giving him a smile. He pats my head and I fufufu. Oops, Tie''sha looks jealous. Let''s shoot her with the Alyce-chan beam later. Which reminds me, I wonder if the Alyce-chan beam succeeded in corrupting the youth of today so I can bring them into my evil organization and have them kiss my feet as they bow down to their overloli. I want to check. But... I guess I want to see if the fleeing gnats below got away from the boner lord. However, I really don''t feel like becoming Alyce-chan on the cliff again because I got so dizzy from the heights last time. Grom, how did it go? Did they escape? I ask, turning to face my audience of kid adventurers. Ah, they are closer now. But too bad, I already put my clothes on. Fufufu. I can''t read their expressions at all, so maybe they are still fighting internally with the Alyce-chan beam. Resistance is futile, you know? Give in to the overloli! Wahaha. Ahen. Yes. They be headin'' to the dungeon entrance. The lich is giving chase, but he cannae catch up. They''ll reach the dungeon before him. Grom says. Together we walk over to where Tie''sha is lining up my future recruits, almost as though they are waiting for inspection from General Grom and the Overloli like Darth Vader and Sideous inspecting troops on the deathstar. Ah, witch-maid commander Tie''sha, that sounds cool, but she still needs more training so that she can complete the deathstar on time. Let''s train her a lot later on tonight, fufufu. Ahen. Yes. Alyce-chan serious mode activate. So they''re heading towards the dungeon entrance? I ask. Grom nods. Aye, that they be. How long do you think that''ll take? And is it far from here? Grom shrugs, as does Tie''sha. Ah of course neither of them would know. Tentatively, I see the seaweed haired girl raise her hand like she''s in a school class. It''s kind of cute and amusing. Yes, seaweed-chan? My.. my name is ithne, my lady, and this is Hal. I give them a nod to let them know that I definitely wont forget their names like I forgot the names of the adventurer kids who I thought were on death row because of how pathetic they were. The entrance is not far from here I think. It''s been awhile, but I''m pretty sure it''s close. ithne says. Her voice is quiet and calming and she is quite cute. Come to think of it, wasn''t she able to heal that red-haired swordsman? Healing might come in useful later on if I have to repair my Tie''sha or my hairy meat pie. Can''t really rely on Grom since his healing abilities are kind of weak. He reminds me a bit of a mix between a retribution paladin and a protection paladin. Hmm. I was reluctant to pick up necromancy, but if I did that then might I not be able to revive them if they died? Now that I have a third job class available, it''s worth thinking about. I''d rather die than relinquish my Tie''sha and my hairy meat pie. They''re mine, you know? Mine. Ahen. So, let us commence the special strategy meeting! I say, clapping my hands enthusiastically and startling everyone. I walk forward so that I have my trusted commander and general behind me, and my recruits before me. Do you hear that? I ask, cupping a hand to my ear. Before they can reply, I say. That is the sound of a thousand boners heading this way! Everyone looks confused, so I clear my throat. I mean, an army of skeletons led by an arch lich is currently encroaching on our position. Before me, the adventurer kids go pale white like sheets. Seaweed and redsword seem to be much calmer. Perhaps they have potential to be trained in the ways of the Alyce-chan. Gesturing to Grom, I start walking back and forth in front of the recruits. General Grom! What do you suggest we do. For a moment, Grom is stunned, but as expected of him, he soon recovers. Aye, it be as the lass says. We can run, or we can go join with the others at the dungeon entrance and fight them off. I think we should go clopper that skinny bugger a good one. Blasted cunt won''t leave us alone. Grom says, his face contorting in a nice and angry grimace. Ah... a grumpy angry dwarf, it looks so nice. It''s dangerous because it might turn me on a little bit. Ahen. One of the kids looks like she is going to complain, but this is an Alyce-chan dictatorship. I agree with General Grom. The stupid boner lord lars rick has been chasing us for far too long. We need to put a stop to him because on this land there can only be one ruler, and that is the overloli. I say, looking at the expressions of the people before me. Seaweed-chan and redsword look calm and like it''s whatever, and the kids are afraid.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Hmm, it would be nice to seperate the wheat from the chaff here. You can leave if you want, but I''m going to the dungeon entrance. Ah, I forgot to tell you guys, but it''s my dungeon now. I say, motioning for them to come with me. Instead of walking, we soon start running. Hal is leading the way, his long red hair trailing behind him. He looks a bit cool, kind of like Kenshin, although he still lacks training and I have no idea how good his battoujutsu is. We have to circle around the mountain and then go down a rather thin path that snakes its way down the side of the mountain. It makes me super dizzy, but I''m sandwitched in between Grom and Tie''sha and they are holding my hands, so it''s alright. I will allow the Alyce-chan sandwitch this once because heights are scary. But I''m definitely not trembling, okay? Goddamn it! The dungeon entrance is more shabby looking than I had thought. In fact, it is little more than a slit in the side of the mountain. Is this really it? I ask. Both Hal and ithne nod in confirmation and I let out a sigh. I guess I will have to fix it up. I can''t have the entrance to my secret base looking so pathetic. 6 pairs of eyes turn to look at me with confusion. Yes, it''s my dungeon now, you know? General Grom, how long until the gnats arrive? I ask. Grom frowns for a moment, thinking. Then he walks over to the edge and looks down the snaking path. Bout half an hour I''d say. He replies. Good good. I want to prepare the dungeon, so do what must be done. Train the newbies, discuss strategy or whatever. I say, dismissing my minions with a wave. Having done that, I sit myself down, close my eyes and HNNG as I bring up the dungeon menu. I am heading towards another dangerous clich, because I am technically a dungeon master and a group of people are heading towards my dungeon to seek refuge from the boner. Perhaps they expect the dungeons survival instincts to kick in and supply monsters to fight alongside them so they can hold back the flood of boners. Since it is such a clich situation, it must be system-chan that is forcing it. Stupid system-chan, don''t think I will forgive you so easily just because I am level 100. Ah wait, level 101? I quickly assign the attributes I gained from leveling up, and then peek at my stats.
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Monster Rank: D++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon(Succubus)/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 101
Character Status
Health: 13553 Mana: 35547 Stamina: 7253 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 77 Intelligence: 1043 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 46 Wisdom: 241 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: None
Constitution: 1309 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
I don''t know if I can even summon any monsters, but one thing is for sure. I will keep the boners out of my dungeon, you know? Let''s check the options.
The Sanguine Lair of Unseen death
Points available: 15087 With points you can buy dungeon monsters and adjust the floor layouts
Floors Change the layout of the dungeon, add traps etc
Dungeon mobs Buy standard dungeon mobs and adjust them.
Boss room Special options available only in the boss room, and rooms connected to the boss room
Coven options Opens a new menu to display all of the options for your Coven (Unseen death)
Ah, there are some interesting things available. I don''t really have much time so let''s just see if I can summon some monsters to fight for me. I click the dungeon mobs button.
Error: A coven cannot summon dungeon mobs
Wait, what? System-chan... ah fuck, I can''t believe you''ve done this. Playing around with the other settings, I find out that I can change the floors and the boss room. I try clicking on the coven menu and it seems that things in there cost points too. Honestly, there''s not much I can do in such a short time. The boner-army will soon be upon us, so I close down the menu with a sigh. Well, the dungeon was a disappointment, but the coven still has potential. Maybe I should try to get seaweed-chan to join my coven as a healer witch? I''m definitely having Tie''sha join first through, so I can make her into a maid witch like Naberal Gamma from overlord. But of course my Tie''sha is way cuter, fufufu. Besides, Ainz is also a bonerlord, and bonerlords are my sworn enemies. It would probably be prudent of me to select my third class before the battle, so I look over my available options. Basically, I narrowed it down to Death witch and Necromancer. I would like a more normal sounding class, but I guess it''s only fitting for me to have cool and awesome jobs like High-warlock. It''s inevitable that I will stand out, you know? Fufufu. So I might as well stand out as much as possible. Like a boner. With a deep breath, I mentally click on the necromancer job. That''s right. Alyce-chan is becoming an overloli, not just in name, but in actual abilities as well. Soon, I shall cover the skies with an army of Raven-chans as a grotesque horde of demons and undead descend upon my enemies! Lo and behold, the overloli of death! Yes. With this setup, world domination is inevitable. Fufufu.
Congratulations! You have become a Necromancer. One who commands and manipulates death, an abomination able to defy the natural laws of the universe to bring death and despair upon thine enemies.
Ping! Your Death manipulation has leveled up x1
Ping! Your mana manipulation has leveled up x1
Ping! Your summoning Magick has leveled up x2
Ping! You have learned the spell: Summon Skeleton Warrior 1
Ping! You have learned the spell: Summon Skeleton Mage 1
Ping! You have learned the spell: Summon Skeleton Archer
Ping! You have learned the spell: Raise undead 1
Ping! You''ve learned the spell: corpse explosion 1
Ping! You''ve learned the spell: Aura of despair 1
A squeal of delight escapes me as I jump to my feet. Everyone turns to look at me, and I return their stare with a huge stupid grin. Then I walk over to Grom. Cannae be long now before they arrive. Ye finished? I nod. Yes, I am more than finished. I am super fantastically goodly great! I became a Necromancer, you know? I''ll teach that stupid boner lord lars rick how to handle boners. He is no match for Alyce-chan. I say, enthusiastically waving my fist toward the horizon where I imagine that the boner-kun army is. My, my lady. Necromancer? Tie''sha asks nervously and behind her, I notice that my recruits have gone quiet. Redsword has stepped infront of seaweed-chan and is eyeing me suspiciously, one hand on his sword. He is kind of cool, but of course he can''t hold a candle to General Grom. Still, I can respect a man like that. I wink at him. Yes. I got 6 new spells to play with and I''m sure I can learn more about the handling of boners later. I say. Just then, my cute elf ears twitch twitch as they pick up the sound of hoofs and carts in the distance. They''re coming. I say, turning away from the nervous newbies. I look over at Grom, who is still dutifully carrying my luggage like a gentleman. I hold out my hand towards him. Sith cloak. I say, like a surgeon asking for a scalpel. It takes him a moment to understand, and another moment to fish out the imposing black cloak from within Frodo baggins. There was no Sam to be found in Frodo though, even though I definitely thought he was gay. Perhaps in the Lord of the Ring homo-erotic re-endition of LOTR you could find Sam inside Frodo? Ahen. Let''s not get distracted. I have to look cool for the camera. Since they are just strangers, I can''t hit them with the ahegao double peace if I want to be perceived as cool. That''s why I''m putting on the big black cloak that I took from Zombie man all the way back on Lintball. I''m going to become the cool and mysterious Alyce-chan. Aaah, how time flies when you''re having fuck, I mean fun. About fuck, maybe I will ask Tie''sha later. Ahen. Yes. Perhaps I should reign in the bit about asking Tie''sha. She is just a maid, so her operations are limited in scope. There is no way she will be able to fulfill all my requests, but perhaps with dilligent training? No, no Alyce stop being distracted. Those clop clops are closer now. So close that Grom and the others can hear them. There''s also a dust cloud rising in front of us. Stupid bastards kiting an army of boners into my group. I should eat them all. But... since they are refugees then perhaps they have honeycakes? Oh my god, if they have honeycakes I will forgive them for being noobs and kiting a pack of boners into me. Oi, lass, why are ye droolin? Grom asks. I quickly wipe my face with the sleeve of the black cloak. I.. I wasn''t. I say. I can feel my face growing hot, but I am definitely not blushing, okay? Goddamn it! It''s just a flesh wound. Wait, that''s not applicable here, but it''s a good distraction for you. Not that I need a distraction since I definitely DID NOT drool or blush, alright?! Got it?! Ahen. Big black muscular... horses... crest the hill in front of me. Riding on top of them are soldiers brandishing swords and spears. They are wearing familiar tabards, and I cock my head trying to remember where.... just where I saw those tabards before. Then a second group on horseback crest the hill. Ah, it''s you. With that fire wall, I thought it might be you. A man says. Chapter 27 – The cacophonous caucus of boners. Riding up to the soldiers, a familiar sharp-faced gentleman makes his entrance like a gallant knight on horseback. It''s enough to widen my eyes a bit. Butlerman, I certainly did not expect to see you all the way out here. I say as I remove the hood of my sith cloak. I had enshrouded myself in the folds of the cloak to appear cool, so the de-hooding is part of it. After all, I have to strategically remove the hood with just the right timing so that I can encapsulate the essence of coolness and capitalize on my mysterious awesomeness to give off just the right impression of Alyce-chan extravaganza. Yes. It''s good to see you made it out of that hell alive. Sebastian says. Clop clops and dust clouds erupt behind him as the middle of the pack arrives. In front there are some more guards, followed by several caravans and some wagons with supplies strapped to them. Among those arrivals there is a pitch-black caravan, its surface shining with black lacquer as the symbol of a lion stares at me. Then the lion symbol splits as the caravan door is flung open. Out hops a blonde-haired shota, his eyes going wide when he looks at me. Aaah! He says, tears welling in his eyes. You''re alive! I''m so glad you''re alive. Ren-kun says as he charges me with tears in his eyes. He is like a dog that has missed his master. Let''s pat his head. Ren is about a head taller than me, so when he approaches me, I strategically reach out my hand and grab his head before he can envelop me in a hug. For a moment, he is confused, but then I ruffle his hair. Even though he is taller than me and it looks a bit silly, he still shows me a magnificent smile as I ruffle his hair. It''s good to see that you made it out as well. I say, finally letting go of his head. His medium length blonde hair is now a toussled mess reminiscent of bedhair, and with his moist red eyes and traces of snot dripping from his nose, he looks like a righteous mess. But still, to run into you here. It must be fate! I say, winking at Ren-kun. His face grows a nice shade of red. You''re not delivering pizza, are you? I''m afraid I don''t have any bathtubs in my cave. I say, wagging my eyebrows at him. The red-faced shota shows me a deliciously puzzled expression, and I once more pat him on the head as the third and final wave of people arrive. The rear guard. Well, color me fifty shades of surprised. Butlerman wasn''t with the rearguard. Perhaps they got it backwards and the rearguard is in the front and they reversed all the way here? After all, there''s no way that the master of the butt, buttlerman Sebastian, would be in front instead of in the back. He is definitely in the back, okay? Goddamn it! So that''s why they definitely reversed the whole way here. No wonder they had trouble escaping from the boner.... but all things considered, perhaps it was wise of them to protect their rear from the boner by reversing uphill. Ahen. Anyway, it seems they''ve all arrived. There''s a lot of shouting and soldier stuff and clanking of armor as guards reposition to close off the road leading up here. It''s a nice corkscrew in the bottleneck style formation, designed to close off access to the peninsula-like flat area in front of the dungeon entrance. Although it''s not filled with shirtless spartan soldiers, it is still a nice formation. Maybe if Leonidas-sama had a breastplate or chainmail, he would''ve done better, but I guess the abs and man nipples were more important than his life. Also, ringmail hadn''t been invented at that point in time, but saying that makes my musings pointless so let''s willfully ignore that fact. Ahen. Regardless, the soldiers have taken up formation and blocked off the road, and the civilians, of which Ren-kun is a part, are being evacuated to the dungeon. Fufufu, they still think it''s a wild dungeon. Little do they know that it is my secret coven hideout. It''s kind of annoying that I haven''t had time to modify the interior and make it cool looking like an evil villains lair, but whatever, at least I get to crush some boners today. That''s what''s truly important. Revenge. I will show bonerlord Lars rick who the real overloli is. With that in mind, I walk over to the ranks of the soldiers, biting my lip as I look over the edge trying to get a peek at the enemies. I think I am starting to conquer my fear of cliff richards. Just as I think this, someone bumps into me from behind. With a shriek, I topple forward over the edge. Flailing my arms, I desperately try to regain my balance and move backwards, but gravity-chan is a devil and keeps pulling at me. Only my toes are connected to the cliff and soon even they will slip off! Oh gosh, no, please. Anything but this. My world spins, the wind blows, and I am pulled back from the precipice of doom. Falling back, I land on my tooshie and start panting, staring up at a spinning sky. If I was still human, I would definitely puke. If I was capable of such a thing, maybe I could use it as a secret technique to projectile vomit myself back up to safety were I ever to really fall off cliff-san. Projectile vomit no jutsu? Ahen. I''ve recovered. The soldiers are making noise, all tense and ready for a fight to the death with the rattling skeletons. I narrow my eyes to search for the bastard that nearly pushed me over the edge, but the coward is gone, having fled the scene of the crime like the unctuous scumbugger that he is. Instead, there is only Grom. That''s fine, maybe I will track down the bastard who bumped me and slowly torture him to death later. I really hate heights. I say, getting to my feet. Grom does his best impression of a serious person as he fixes his gaze on the horizon, resting his hand on that glowing blue sting impersonating sword of his. This sure takes me back. He says quietly as the wind tickles beard-san. Yes, that''s right! Wind-chan, you must breathe life into beard-san so that mister beard can finally become sentient! Tehehe. The monster meat in the dungeon was really quite disgusting. It tasted like cardboard, you know? I say, looking over at Grom. This time, I''m hoping for some more calcium in my diet. I say, grinning up at him. He returns my grin with a smile. I cannae say I know what calcium is, but I''m guessing it has something to do with them skellies over yonder. Ai! I reply and Grom chuckles. And I guess maybe, possibly I could nab a few of the soldiers that die during the battle. Bones can get a bit dry, so the Alyce-chan special could do with some juicy delicious meat once in awhile I say under my breath so that only Grom can hear me. Eye eyes me oddly, but his smile doesn''t disappear and he just slowly nods. Although I didn''t shoot Grom with the Alyce-chan beam of corruption, it seems he is still affected. Good good, let me show you the dark path, my meat pie. Fufufu. Grom rolls his shoulders and takes a few deep breaths. I''m just looking forward to a good workout and getting some revenge in on that damn bastard. Why can''t the fucker leave me alone fer fucks sake, always chasing us around. This time, I''ll show him. Ah, that''s right Grom. You didn''t get to do much back at the dungeon, did you? Sorry about that, you need to get stronger too so you can kill your sister, right? Aye lass.. Aye. Grom says, his eyes narrowing. It is fascinating how a few words can affect someone. Just the word sister can elicit such a reaction from Grom... he is completely in serious mode now. Not è` although he is my ww. In the distance, I can hear the rattling of bones, the clacking of jaws and the grinding of joints rubbing together unnaturally in what can only be called a cacophonous caucus of boners. Ahen. It seems the battle is upon us, and I must prepare myself accordingly. The grinding sounds of the boner-kun army has reminded me of my third class, necromancer! It''s extremely cool, you know? But still, I am slightly troubled because of all the fleshlings around me. They might not be able to appreciate the greatness of having skeleton minions. Well, first things first, I summon Raven-chan and her lieutenants as well as Elishmael my hot fire elemental and my lovely rape demon **cough** I mean Zan the cool, sulfuric acid dropping demon of lava soda streams. Yes. Raven-chan opens hear beak and lets out a kaa kaa, call to battle. I notice that there are 12 ravens with yellow eyes surrounding my big, bad red eyed Raven-chan GPS. Nice, the black raven-chan squad is looking mighty fine. It won''t be long now until I can cover the skies with ravens and they can pluck out the eyes of my enemies and bring them to me, so I can eat them like finger grapes. Nummy nummy! Drool is overflowing just at the thought of popping a juicy eye into my mouth. Fufufu, this army of mine is cool as fuck. Alyce-chan is definitely extremely cool too, alright?! From my head to my toes, I am tingling with excitement because I have 6 new spells to try. The trouble is that I don''t know if I should summon my skellies or not given how my allies are made of flesh and hate boners. The inner struggle is brief, and of course it''s the 100% victory of the overloli. Nobody cares what the pathetic fleshlings think. This is Alyce-chan dictatorship, alright? That''s why, obey your overloli and come! This time it''s not boner boner go away. Instead, it''s boner boner come this way, okay? Goddamn it! I summon them.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. I start with skeleton warriors. I have to say, it looks weird. First, some bones appear out of thin air, and then they swirl and put themselves together into a skeleton warrior complete with sword and shield. The mystery of magic. It''s definitely system-chan being weird again here. For sure. When in doubt, blame system-chan. My summon skeleton is only level 1, so I don''t really know how many I can summon, or if this is it. Doesn''t hurt to try, I guess. So I keep summoning. Turns out I can summon 8 skeleton warriors in total. They don''t always spawn with swords, some of them have spears and some have axes, but they all have shields like tanks. That''s good. Frontliners have to have shields. That''s a no brainer. I sense unrest among the plebs and glance over to see the soldiers making a fuss. Sebastian is talking to them and doing a lot of hand waving. For a moment, he fooled me into thinking he was italian with just how much he is gesticulating and flailing his arms. Well, the butlerman is reliable in this kind of situation, so let''s leave it up to him. Besides, if the soldiers turn on me, I can kill them and eat them.... hmmm. No, stop that! Don''t contemplate turning on your allies before the battle. I have to use them as sacrificial pawns against the boner-kun forces. Then I can eat them. It doesn''t matter how they die, but it''s best to put them to good use. Alyce-chan should not be wasteful with her food. Efficiency is important. Next up is the Skeleton Archers. I was worried that 8 was the maximum limit for all my skellies, but it seems I can also summon 8 skeleton archers. They all come with longbows and a quiver of arrows, and they also have a leather belt with a dagger in it. I don''t know how this summoning magic works, but it sure is mysterious. I can summon something from nothing like a God. Fufufu, I knew it all along. Alyce-chan is not just an overloli, but a god! Tehehe. I wonder if their weapons despawn once they die, or if I can use this to exploit the system and get money so that I can buy unlimited honeycakes for me and Tie''sha. I file that thought away in the back of my mind cabinet and summon the last of my skellie trifecta, the boner mages. Honestly, they remind me of skeleton mages from Diablo. Their hands are glowing different colors like red or blue depending on what element they can use. When I look closely, I can see that they are clutching strange orbs in their hands. Kind of cool. It seems the soldiers are moving. A very important looking mustache with a man attached, is approching me with a frown on his face and his sword drawn. Backing him up is a group of 5 soldiers. But really, the mustache is huge. I can just see him twirling it and going oooooooooh. Perhaps he is allied to the master of the butt, sebastian. He stops infront of my skeleton army and clears his throat, looking over at me. It''s kind of cute how he is trying to appear serious and composed even though he is evidently quite nervous. Ehehe. Ahem. I take it you are Lady Alyce. The mustache says. You take it correctly! I say, giving him a smile and shooting him with the Alyce-chan beam. He is frozen for a moment, no doubt surprised by the sudden attack of the overloli beam. Fufufu, fall to my beam. He once more clears his throat, his face a little bit red. We-well then. Do you intend to attack us with those skeletons? The man asks. Maybe he is slightly retarded. A cute slightly retarded closet homosexual that likes to say ooooh, and twirl his mustache? Although I haven''t confirmed the oooh yet, it is but a hunch of mine, and of course my hunches are always correct, you know? Cocking my head to one side, I reply No? And if I was, I would certainly not tell you, would I. What is the point of that question? The Lich army is almost here so go back and prepare your men. I''m also going to fight them, you know? I say. The mustachio meistro takes a few seconds to process my words. How... how will we know which skeletons are yours and which belong to the enemy? The man says. Glacing over at my boners, I notice that they do look a little bit generic. Uhh, that is certainly a valid concern. They are not like Zan or Elishmael or Raven-chan. They look a bit too factory production-liney but there is not much I can do about it. They do have magnificent white calcium filled bones though. They definitely do, you know? My skeletons are strong! There''s no way they have osteoporosis or crippling depression okay? Goddamn it! The dubious oooh mustachio twirling closet man is still waiting for my answer, so I cock my head and HNNNG think really fast. I use the super Alyce-chan special parallel thought processing technique to come up with a master plan. Such a meagre obstacle is no bar to my path! The will of the overloli triumphs over all, even the gravest of odds shall be overturned by the Alyce-chan beam. This time, it was the triumph of my superior overloli parallel thought processing. Grom, Frodo baggins please. I say, holding out my hand. Grom almost instantly replies and hands me the Cornelives bag and I waste no time in fishing out exactly what I need from within its mysterious depths. Fufufu, yes. With this, my skeletons will be unique. As for what articles of clothing I pull from the bag? It''s my socks, of course. You see, I packed many many pairs of cute long socks because I love long socks. What kind of overloli does not have long socks! Don''t be ridiculous! So yes, I pull out my long socks. See, they came in handy. I say to no one in particular. Tie''sha is all the way in the back with the pathetic weak adventurer kids, but it was her who objected. She kept saying ''my lady, you don''t need to pack so many socks'' but lo and behold, Alyce-chan the overloli was correct after all! Fufufu, I am a mastermind, you know? Ahen. Yes. So basically, while Mustache man and Grom is watching with their mouthes half open, I unpack my socks and roll them onto the heads of my skeletons. It definitely does not remind me of rolling a condom onto a boner. This is very different, alright?! There''s definitely nothing sexual about putting socks on some boners, okay? Goddamnit! Although Tie''sha would probably beg to differ. That secret lesbianism is definitely also hiding a foot fetish somewhere in her closet. Let''s find out later. Ahen. So yeah. It took me awhile, but I finally finished putting socks on my skellies. I tried to match the color to the mages, but I didn''t pack many red socks. The pink socks had to substitute. But I had enough blue socks for the ice skeletons. The warriors got white socks, and the archers got black socks. Fufufu, this is a masterful plan, is it not!? Behold the genius of Alyce-chan! I say as I gesture to my amazingly wonderful army of sock boners. After an awkward moment of silence, Mustache man closes his mouth and turns back, walking away without a word. Grom chuckles quietly. My face turns red. I clench my fists. It''s a good plan! It makes sense! I say, stomping my foot and pouting up at him. How dare he mock my brilliant master plan. Sure lass, sure. It be a brilliant idea. Grom says. The bastard, this time I can clearly tell that he is trying to not laugh! He doesn''t even have diarrhea! How unabashed. Don''t you know you''re not allowed to make fun of the overloli or else I will punish you severely and step on your face, dog. Let''s step on Grom later. For now, there is a battle of boners to contend with and so I have to postpone my punishment of Grom. Seriously, the dept of my minions is starting to stack up. I might have to spend many sleepless nights punishing them to make up for all the lost time. But I wonder if I will ever have enough time to slowly enjoy the punishments like that? Certainly not while bonerlord Lars rick still roams these lands pretending to rule over them. What a false king. The only true queen of these lands is the overloli. Yes. Alyce-chan will go and let him know who the boss is right now. The time has come. My powerlevel has risen a lot, and I am a mythic level monster. There is no way that a stupid Arch lich can be my opponent. In the distance over yonder, where the soldiers are blocking the road, I suddenly hear a shout. Then swords and shields clash. It seems the first line of skellies from the Arch lich has arrived. Grom is already charging over, clearly earger to get some kills in, but I don''t really feel like joining the fray with small fry like that, so I wait and organize my troops. There''s a lot of grunting, shouting and clashing of blades, but the soldiers seem to be holding their ground well. Especially now that Grom is over there with them. Secretly, I order Raven-chan and her squad to fly above and make sure Grom is safe. I allow them to do some airstrikes from above and harass the enemy. But still, since this is a hill I can''t really get a good look at what''s happening. All I hear is a lot of noise but the battle is definitely raging. Suddenly, a chill sweeps over the land and the sky grows dark. I can hear a faint, unintelligble whispering in the wind and it is enough to send a chill down my spine. Right after that, a group of skeleton warriors appear out of nowhere right behind the frontline. Mustache is panicking, but this is my time to shine. I order my sock boners to attack and engage the enemy skeletons. Let''s do this! Boner against boner, who has the strongest boner?! It''s Alyce-chan of course. Ahen. My warriors with white socks on their heads slash and block and fight quite well. I think the stat boost from my summoning magick skill and my special talent is working well. The mages and archers support from the back, picking off the Arch lich skeletons one by one with fireballs or arrows through the skull. My squad is fantastic! Not a single casualty and yet they are crushing the enemy. Soon, there is nothing left of the ambush, and my skeletons still stand strong. I didn''t even have to cast a single spell. Well, I am reluctant to go to the edge and start attacking with magic since I will just get dizzy, so I hang back and wait. The frontline is holding, but a few of the fleshling soldiers have been stabbed. None have died yet unfortunately, and the wounded are being transported to the back where ithne is healing them. I need to acquire her for my coven so she doesn''t waste her talent on meaningless things like keeping NPCs alive. I might as well send out Elishmael and Zan. I place my fire elemental on the side of the cliff like a turret. It''s funny. Almost like I am playing a tower defense game. Anyway, Elishmael starts raining hell down upon the boner-kun army and Zan joins Raven-chan in her fly-by attacks. The temperature in the surroundings continue to drop lower and lower, and the skies grow darker still. The skeletons don''t stop coming, and the frontline of NPC soldiers is beginning to get exhausted. Grom is still there though, so they are holding on. Ah, it seems the redheaded swordsman kenshin impersonator has joined as well. He is cool, as expected. Suddenly, I feel a huge amount of mana accumulating below. Something is coming. A terrible rattling noise rings out, like someone is playing a thousand ribcages with drumsticks. At the edge of cliff richards, on either side of the frontline, I see white bone growths suddenly appear. Oh cool, it''s a road of bone. A stairway of boners. For the boners, by the boners! Rise up! Lich-chan is marching troops up those bone constructions like they are siege towers... and more and more of those stairways appear all along the edge. As one, I see skeletons appearing on the horizon, like a huge wall of white skellies walking on air. There are even some mage skeletons here and there. It''s my time to shine. The frontline will be decimated if I let this go on for much longer, so I command my skeletons to battle. Go! Show them the true power of Alyce-chan! I say, and my sock boner squad begins they fight. For my part, I start casting some conflagrate, darkbolts and throwing out some howling curses of weakness. Fufufu, I''m racking up the kills! But still, just how high is this damn bonerlord''s skill with skeletons to be able to summon so many. It''s ridiculous and they just keep coming. I''m not complaining though, since it''s easy exp. Although they probably don''t give me much considering how weak they are. I''m really destroying them left right and center. There is a lull in the fighting, as the boners stop coming. Half of my skeletons are down, so I take the opportunity to raise them back up. Luckily they retain their sock-helmets. But it really is strange though. Why did the attack stop? Did Lich lord Lars rick realize my amazing power and run away? That can''t be. He''s a stupid boner, so of course he will keep attacking me, right? Yup, turns out I was right. Suddenly, spikes of ice erupt from the ground and skewer the frontliners. Once I''ve confirmed that Grom is fine, I turn my eyes to the skies because I feel an ominous blanket of mana covering the area. The sky is full of glittering icy spikes raining down. It''s a rain of deadly icicles. Eh, that looks like a pain in the ass to get hit by and my water/ice resistance is in the minus. It''s my weakness. Why is the fucking skeleton using my weakest element against me!? Stupid boner. Alyce-chan uses her quick paralell thought processing to come up with a master plan. [Greater Firewall] Yes, I rely on my trusty firewall. I focus my mind and imagine the firewall appearing not vertically, but horizontally like a giant roof over me. I even extend it to cover the frontliners. Most of them are dead from the ice spikes, but Grom is there. Mana rushes out of me as I stretch my hands out to the skies. Starting over me, the fire spreads with a roar and suddenly, the sky is on fire. I focus on making my fire thick and hot and burning! Щ`˥󥰣 A moment later, I hear a loud hissing sound and steamy mist erupts, covering the area with white smokey smoke hot steam. It''s very cool, but I can''t see anything at all. I wish I had wind magic to blow it away. I could use another firewall to burn the steamy smoke away, but that seems like a waste. I think I have to conserve my mana to fight with the Arch Lich. It seems he has some big AoE attacks up his sleeve. Ah, I wish I had some huge AoE attacks like that as well, like rain of fire or something. I must learn later! Absolutely. I widen my eyes and try to peer through the mists covering the battlefield. Near the frontline I see a towering shadow approaching the remaining frontliners. They shrink back from it. The shadow is even taller than Grom, and almost as wide. I can see a huge staff in its hand. There is no doubt in my mind. That is definitely the main boner. It is my chance. My chance to take revenge for Lintball, for Weimar, for interrupting my feast of honeycakes and nearly killing my meat pie. Grom, Hal, everyone fall back! I shout to the remaining soldiers. Mustache is still standing, as is Sebastian. It looks like they still have some fight in them, but apparently they have recognized their overloli as the supreme commander, because they obediently retreat like good minions. Excellent. Now it is Alyce-chan''s turn. I will show them the ultimate coolness. Thinking that, I walk over to the towering shadow. It raises its staff and the rams it into the ground, and all of the white mist evaporates to reveal the biggest skeleton I have ever seen in my life. A dark silken mantle covers it shoulders and streams down its back like a huge cape, and it''s wearing something like a black kilt. Its'' ribcage is exposed, and in that ribcage there are 13 floating, sickly green orbs. I look up, way way up, into the skeletons face. Pale green orbs stare down at me, smoke flowing from its eyesockets. You... It says, in a very deep, gravelly voice. Me. I say, pulling the incinerator wand from my belt. Comparing my small wand to the huge staff of the skeleton lich, I can''t help but think that lars rick is compensating for something. But now is not the time for jokes. Now is the time for the showdown. Holding my wand delicately betwixt my fingers, I gesture to the skeleton to come at me. The Arch lich clacks its jaws and lets out a deep hiss, a whisper of death. Then it raises its staff. Chapter 28 – The end and the beginning. Before the lich could attack, I flicked my incinerator wand and cast conflagrate. Snakes of fire tore from the wand, slamming into the lich, but where they hit, steam rose and I could see the faint outline of something blue twinkling. A protective shield of some kind. Quickly, I also activated my fire shield just in time for the lich to blast me with a frosty mist. Everything turned white, and the ground around me froze. When the white mist cleared, I saw the lich readying another spell, but like hell I was just going to fight fair. I commanded my minion squad to move in. Zan, Elishmael and the ravens all attacked the lich from behind, chipping away but not destroying the shield. After their fly-by attack, I spammed some more conflagrates because I figured that fire would be very effective against a frosty boner. Bursts of cold frost licked out from the lich, intercepting my fires. We stared at each other for a moment. Then the lich''s eyes glowed brightly and he started attacking for real. Frost blasted from the lich and icicles started raining down on my position. I couldn''t help but back up, constantly casting conflagrates, my fire roaring against his frosty mist as I tried to dodge the icy spikes with my extreme elegance and habeas corpus and dexterity check. Well, I have something to admit. I was never that elegant. And maybe I should''ve focused more on my defenses. Why? Because there are icy spikes stuck in me, alright?! It''s not just one or two, it''s like I am pincushioned by icicles! It''s ridiculous. Stupid boner lord lars rick should not penetrate me so vigorously! I HNNNG and cast my greater firewall on top of myself. Although the fire burns me, it works to remove the icicles, although my flesh is a bit charred now and my hair might be on fire. Only a little bit on fire! Although that one icy spike through the left cheek tore a hole in my face, I am still cute, okay? Goddamn it! The great firewall was but a brief reprieve from the action, but it gave me enough time to order another drive-by minion shooting. It seemed the lich was very annoyed by it, because it let out a loud growl and some sort of circle of frost erupted from it. Another cool AoE attack. Alyce-chan wants a big meaty AoE attack too, you know? I cast a great firewall right on top of the lich. A lot of hissing, steam and stuff ensued, and the lich cast another frost circle thingie which managed to dispel my firewall. What''s the matter there, boner-kun? Your bones turned black yet? I call over to taunt it. It let''s out a spine-shivering scream and then... it starts raining icicles down on me again. Goddamn it! Please stop with the Alyce-chan pincushion strategy, you bastard! I cast a sky firewall to protect myself against the damn ice rain. Then I cast curse of weakness and hurl a few dark bolts at it, to see what it will do. Curse of weakness has limited effect, but the balls of darkness make his shields flare up. My minions come in for another drive-by, and I cast drain life once, twice and three times. The lich howls in anger, and something strange happens. My orange drain life rays start to turn blue. And the blue is creeping back to me. It''s strangely like in Harry potter, especially since I am wielding a wand. In any case, the lich is turning my drain life back on me with that blue ice stuff, so I HNNG very hard and pour mana into my three drain life rays. They buzz loudly with power, almost like I am at a high voltage power station. They also undulate, becoming more and more unstable and volatile as I pour in more and more mana, making the buzzing sound almost loud enough to shatter my ear drums and shake the ground. It''s really quite crazy. The blue is being pushed back, and the lich is struggling. Good good, go go Alyce-chan beam! Defeat the evil lich. Just as I am about to push back the blue rays with my orange ones, the Lich lets out a screech and green energy explodes from it in all directions, cutting off my drain life spells and even eating away at the ground. Ooh, dangerous! That''s a dangerous attack there, boner-kun. But if my senses aren''t mistaken, that is death energy. Is your trump card death energy? Fufufu, if so, then you are screwed! For I am the overloli of death! Wahaha. Yes. I will show you the power of the loli side! To distract the Lich, I cast a firewall on it and fling some conflagrates at it, but I am secretly preparing a nasty surprise. Back in Weimar''s adventurer''s guild, I picked a talent called preparation, which allows me to store spells for later use. And it''s time to give boner-kun a nasty surprise! The Alyce-chan special AoE version, is coming! I fire off a few more conflagrates as I walk closer and closer to the Lich, all the while secretly preparing my surprise. I can hold five, but I am putting a lot of my mana into each of the five spells. The Alyce-chan burst AoE is coming! Be afraid, be very afraid stupid boner-kun! The lich rams his staff into the ground, clearing away all of my fire with his frost AoE spell. Then he starts his annoying icicle rain again. Stupid old boner, don''t you have any more attacks up your sleeve? I''ve been pierced before, and I shall be pierced again! A few icicles sticking out of me is no big deal, okay? And I definitely still look cute even though I am currently the Alyce-chan pin cushion. Ahen. I run towards the Lich, casting a few conflagrates and dark bolts to distract him. When I am close, I can see the Lich''s eyes light up. Foolish girl! it howls triumphantly, releasing one of its frost rings. Foolish lich! I reply, releasing my prepared spell. Five mana enhanced blast waves coming right up! Suddenly, there is a whoosh and then a deafening roar of fire in my ears. I feel slightly empty as mana rushes from me in a huge wave. But something else rushes from me in a huge wave, and that is fire. My surroundings become a roaring, burning hell. The flames pulse once, twice, thrice. The lich is screaming, his blue shield is flickering and he is casting some frost and death mana spell desperately. My blast wave ocean of fire pulses a fourth and then a fifth time, burning away everything, scorching my eyes and the very air itself. After a second or two, things clear away and I see the Lich, bones blackened, backing away. He is almost at the edge of cliff richards and the death energy flowing from his eyes seems unusually dim. Gazing upon him, I also feel the heaviness in my body. I feel like taking a nap, so tired... but the bonerlord is still standing there, although he is not mocking me any longer. He looks afraid. Letting out an angry hiss, the bonerlord throws himself over the edge. Shit! I am not letting him get away. Stupid boner! You are mine! Even riddled with holes, with my flesh torn to pieces and my mana tank looking pretty light, I still want to continue. This is my chance to end the stupid bonerlord and damned if I will let him just float away. Calling my minions over, I walk to the edge of the cliff. I''m dizzy from exhaustion, so I am not sure if the dizziness is only from exhaustion, or also from the heights. But I feel like I am almost too tired to care... Down there, I see the Lich floating away, some vague green mana mist surrounding him. As I expected, the stupid boner is trying to get away! Raven-chan squad, fly me down there! After him! I command, and a regiment of ravens all sink their claws into me. Since my clothes are unreliable and have a tendency to fall off or get torn to pieces, I will my ravens to sink their claws directly into my flesh. My original raven-chan GPS sinks her claws deeply into my back and acts as my main pair of wings, with a few ravens on my shoulders and legs. There is also a raven-chan on my ass, but let''s not talk about that. I will allow him to get his claws on my ass just this once since it''s important for Alyce-chans air mobility. Soon enough, I am flying down after the Lich. My head is spinning, and my world is a bit blurry, but I am keeping my consciousness intact with a few powerful HNNGs. Sshh-shtop right there chri-sshriiminal shrumm! I say, floating down dizzily. The Lich turns back, its mouth opening in surprise before it starts desperately running away using all of its death mana to make the green floaty cloud thing go faster. Uuh, death mana? Ah, I am the overloli of death, aren''t I? It''s hard to think clearly right now, but I remember that sensation from back during the Lintball expedition. Grinning widely, I order my Raven-chan squad to speed up. I kamikaze dive after the boner. Behind me, I can hear Grom shouting, but I can''t hear what he is saying. Ss.. you have vioo-viooolated the law and mush phey a pwice! I shout, my whole world moving strangely from side to side like I am on a ship. But I am definitely not sea-sick, okay? I will not use the projectile vomit technique right now. Instead, I will use Death energy absorption. Fufufu. I put my all into casting death energy absorption. I''m going for broke! Thrusters on full, the most intense HNNG! The green mist around the Lich starts bleeding away from it and flowing towards me in small whispy tendrils. I can''t help but giggle a bit insanely as I feel the influx of energy. Ah, what a nostalgic feeling this is. The Alyce-chan mana tank is being refilled. Yooouuu! What are you doing! The lich shouts, turning towards me. Is that fear I detected in its voice just now? Stop, stop that now! It shouts, clearly desperate. Nope! I say, giving boner-kun my best overloli smile as I continue to drain away the energy. Soon, the lich starts gaining speed, falling faster and faster towards the ground. Once I''ve drained about 90% of the green mist, The lich is pretty much in free fall, plummeting towards the rocks on the river below. For my own part, although my head is fuzzy and my world is spinning, I am adding the green death energy to my own mana reserves and this gives me some extra energy. The Lich crashes into the rocks below with a loud crack. The stones cracked, but I think I may see a few cracks on the lich''s blackened bones too. With my Raven-chan squad, I kamikaze dive towards the fallen Lich. It turns its face towards me, and I think I can see fear in its eyes even though a skull cannot have any expressions. But somehow, this skull is showing me an expression of fear. For some reason, this makes me laugh out loud, cackling like a madwoman. I even allow a quick tehehe, but enough is enough. I gather all of my mana and throw everything I got into this last attack. Well, I say that, but I just start spamming conflagrates as I fall from the sky. You rained ice on me! But now I''m raining fire on you, stupid lich! I shout, as snakes of fire ripple from me, the roaring flames raining down like thunderous streaks painting the canvas of the sky with sizzling streams of flame. [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] [Conflagrate] Yes. I spammed a bit much, but the fire flowed from me in a continuous stream. Some people just want to watch the world burn... I might be one of those people... yes. I might be in danger of becoming a pyromaniac. In any case, the Alyce-chan flames of justice bombard the bonerlord from the skies and like the mighty overloli that I am, I emerge victorious. Yay, yay. Peace. My ravens fly me down to the ground. My world is dim and wobbly, but there is a great rush in my belly and I can''t stop giggling and going fufufu to myself. They drop me on top of the blackened remains of the Lich, and I land among the bones, my flesh torn, pin cushion holes everywhere, my cheek gone, my face torn and claw marks all over my body. Even on my butt.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. But I won. Justice! Now before I fall asleep, I must quickly replenish my energy. And of course, the way to do that is to eat. It is always good to eat some boners after a sweaty session of heavy HNNG. Ahen. Yes. So with weak and feeble hands, I reach out and grab one of the black, cracked bones of the Lich, bring it up to my torn face and crunch crunch. I expected the taste of dry charcoal, but instead what fills my mouth is the orgasmic taste of vanilla strawberry icecream! Perhaps I am exaggerating slightly, but once I''ve been through the crunchy crust of the bone, the inside is cool and icy and tastes very sweet. After only a single mouthful, energy is already surging through my body and I resist the urge to spasm around. Now is not the time to lose control of my body. Let''s do that with Tie''sha and Grom later. Ahen. I lost myself to the delicious candy-like bones and had a grand feast, munching and crunching and growling and drooling, feeling very ghoul-like. It was so nice, so freeing. Shame I don''t have a side of freedom fries to go with my deliciously envigorating boner sticks. Mmmhmmm, so good! So scrumptiously nummy scrummy! Some time later, I regain my senses. I am sitting alone on the rock near the river where the Lich fell. All around me is black, and the vegetation is burned by my flames. And most crucially of all. There is no more Arch-lich Lazarik. I ate it all! I clap twice and then put my hands together, closing my eyes in prayer as I say Thanks for the meal! It was so nummy. I notice that the skies have darkened considerably since the battle had begun, and thoughts of the others, of Tie''sha and Grom, prod and poke at my mind. I remember that it didn''t take awfully long to climb cliff richards, so maybe I can make it back to them without flying. I am getting a bit dizzy just from thinking about the heights, but I won''t faint! I glance down at my body, and as I expected, my clothes are nearly gone. My cool black sith cloak has been reduced to a few pieces and scraps of torn cloth hanging from me. My body is full of holes, wounds, tears... but at least my ribcage isn''t exposed. Oh, and my face is messed up. That stupid Lars rick messed up my face with his boner magic, I won''t forgive him! But well, he is dead so I guess that is fine. And his remains were very nummy and sent me into ghoul mode, so I will forgive him posthumously. Closing my eyes briefly, I check my levels of biomass only to discover an absolutely massive amount of it. I guess the bonerlord was more than just skin and bones. Maybe the marrow of his bones were infused with special bonerlord juice or something. In any case, Alyce-chan now has a lot of biomass, you know? Of course, there is only one thing I can do with this much biomass. The Alyce-chan reconstruction project! Version 2.0. Or... is it 3.0 now? I forget how many times I have had to do this. Oh well, it doesn''t matter. I squeeze my eyes shut and HNNG very hard, activating flesh manipulation and fixing my body. I can feel the holes closing, the flesh of my cheek growing back and my butt becoming whole again after that raven-chan grabbed it so viciously in flight. Trouble is, I still have quite a lot of biomass left over even after I''ve regenerated my body. What to do, what to do... last time I tried to get a tail so that I could look cuter, and it definitely made me cuter, you know? Alyce-chan is absolutely without question supremely cute, okay? Goddamn it! But I am loathe to risk acquiring another ''pleasure'' organ... what if I grew tentacles. Poor Tie''sha would faint again and again. Ahen. I think I will go with the bones. Strengthening my bones is important, you know? The overloli has to have bones of steel! Super special Lich calcium must be used in the construction of my legendary loli skeleton! Yes yes. In my imagination, I visualize pure bones without flaws, without defects, stronger than steel and more flexible than rubber, indestructible. Okay, that was impossible, so I''ll go with nearly indestructible. I guess disturbed copyrighted indestructible. Don''t copy strike me bro!
Congratulations! You have created The overloli''s beautiful bones, skelet of grand necromancy. +2 necromancy, +1 summon skeleton archer, +1 summon skeleton mage, +1 summon skeleton warrior.
Well, what to say? It hurt a lot. I may have fainted a little bit. But only a little bit, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, when I opened my eyes I was lying on my back and there was a blanket covering my almost naked body. Nearby, I could hear hushed conversation but I recognized the voices, it was Grom and Tie''sha, so I relaxed and focused on the other thing that was tickling my mind, the floating system-chan messages. Yes. System-chan took the time to kick me while I was down! The evil harlot. Well, in this case, it wasn''t so bad. System-chan... maybe you''re okay, after all.
Ping! Congratulations, you have earned the title: Overloli.
Ping! Congratulations, you have slain Lich lord Lazarik and his minions: Title gained: Lich-slayer.
Ping! Congratulations, you have leveled up +68!
Ping! Congratulations, mana sense has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, fire manipulation has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, dark energy manipulation has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, artillery mage has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Raven Familiar has leveled up x2!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Rare Imp Familiar has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Rare Fire Elemental has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Skeleton Warrior has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Skeleton Mage has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Summon Skeleton Archer has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Aura of Dispair has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Darkbolt has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Conflagrate has leveled up x3!
Ping! Congratulations, Blast Wave has leveled up x2!
Ping! Congratulations, Blazing Barrier has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Death Energy Absorption has leveled up!
Ping! Congratulations, Drain Life has leveled up!
I am actually extremely happy right now. Now only did I not faint from the system-chan attack, but I gained the overloli title. Fufufu. Even system-chan recognizes my greatness as the brilliantly goodly greatly amazingly beautifully se--*cough* super cool overloli. Yes. I am overpowered. Got a problem with that, huh?! I''ll step on your face, you dog. Fufufu. Ahen. Another reason why I am warming up to system-chan, is the fact that she attacked me while I was already taking a nap. Thus, no big consciousness crushing system-chan message attack! It''s very nice. With a lazy smile on my face, I sit up but take care to stay wrapped up in the blanket. Even though flat is justice, I won''t expose myself so easily! Though I''ve had accidents in the past, but let''s ignore those, alright? We''re ignoring them. Definitely ignoring them. Okay? Goddamn it! It takes Grom and Tie''sha awhile to notice that I''m awake, but once they do, they approach me tentatively. Grom has a complicated expression on his face, but Tie''sha is tearing up. She throws herself at me, melting against my body like jelly. Lady Alyce! I pat her on the head. There there, it''s alright. You were amazing, lass. Grom says quietly in the background as Tie''sha continues to sniffle and bury her face in my chest. Such a good doggy maid, fufufu. Her tail is wagging like crazy. I gently nugi nugi her ears and make her squirm. Well, it was a cool battle. I say. Where are the maggots, I mean the rest of the people? They be hiding out in the dungeon. The few soldiers we have left be guarding them, but they be safe, for now. Good, good. Then hand me some clothes you big hairy piece of meat. Grom looks at me, then down at his empty hands, then over at Tie''sha. With a sigh, I get the message. He did not bring the wunderbag from the Cornelives house. Well, I guess since it''s just you and Tie''sha, it''s fine. I say and get up, not bothering to cover myself fully with the blanket. I just drape it over my shoulders as a cape. Tie''sha''s face starts reddening, and Grom furrows his eyebrows but forces himself to look at me. See, I fixed up all the holes. It''s fine. I say, slightly puffing out my chest. Finally, Grom averts his gaze and curses underneath his breath, and I giggle in response. My... my lady, I thought you were going to die when I saw all those icicles sticking out of you. Tie''sha mutters quietly. ... Well, let''s not talk about my pin cushion episode. You should know by now that I am not that easy to kill. I say, wrapping the blanket around my torso. Most of my legs are covered by long socks that have magically survived the attack, and my feet are safely tucked away in my cute Mary Jane shoes. I am all ready to go. Come on my minions, let''s go and see what Ren-kun is up to. I want honeycakes. I deserve them, you know. After all I did, I definitely deserve some honeycakes, and some candy apples too. I say, and we stroll up the path to my dungeon with the silvery light of the moon shining brightly in the sky behind me. Today was a good day. I got to kill some boners. Then I got to eat some boners, and now I am with my Tie''sha and my hairy meat pie, going up to my own personal witch coven dungeon with snacks waiting inside. Tomorrow, I think I''m going to try and capture seaweed-chan and her red-headed swordsman friend and tease Ren-kun a little bit. Fufufu... it was good that I came to this world. Very good indeed. And my journey has only just begun! Alyce-chan in another world... I glance up at the silvery moonlight, at the stars twinkling above, and I smile contentedly to myself. Yes, it really was good that I came to this world. . . . . . . . .
Alyce Katheryn Francisca McDowell
Titles
Demon Monarch Lady of Ravens
Lifebinder Scholar
Paragon Acolyte of Death
Witch of the burning horizon Psionic Scion
Undying High-Witch
Overloli Lich-Slayer
Monster Rank: C++++ (Mythic)
Basic Information
Race: Undead (Ghoul/Demon(Succubus)/High-elf) Gender: Female Age: 10 Level: 169
Character Status
Health: 23759 Mana: 55047 Stamina: 12545 Class: High-Warlock
Strength: 77 Intelligence: 1643 Charisma: 68 Sub-Class: Fire Witch
Dexterity: 94 Wisdom: 341 Spirit: 72 Sub-Class: Necromancer
Constitution: 2329 Perception: 46 Karma: -100 Sub-Class: None
Affinities
Holy: -100% Light: 0% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Resistances
Holy: 100% Light: 100% Death: 100% Darkness: 100%
Water: -26% Earth: 10% Fire: 47% Air: 10%
Poison: 100% Curse: 99%
Talents
Master Summoner 10% of your int added to the overall stats of your summons
Preparation Can store spells for instant use later. Gains an additional spell storage slot every 200 int. Twice the spells cost reserved in MP
Demonic Embrace Summoned demons gain 10% of your max HP as extra life.
Traits
Untiring (Undead) 99% decreased stamina drain at night. 33% increased Stamina drain in daylight.
Life Sense (Undead, Ghoul) You can detect the pulse of life all around you. Radius is twice your perception but 100m max.
Hungering (Undead, Ghoul) If you eat the majority of a corpse, you will gain 10% of the experience you would get from slaying it normally.
Spitfire (Demon Racial) +1 attribute point per level. +20% fire attribute affinity. -20% water attribute affinity.
Ancient blood (High-Elven Racial) +1 Attribute point per level. +5% earth affinity, +5% air affinity
Habeas corpus (Undead) Your unholy undead presence seeps deeply into your flesh, increasing your overall co-ordination and control and making you feel more at home in your undead body
Firebrand (Demon) +7% fire affinity -11% water affinity.
Blood Frenzy (Ghoul) The more health points you lose, the higher your melee damage becomes.
Pleasures of the flesh (Succubus) You can enhance the pleasure you and others feel.
Status Effects
Perfect Corpse (Condition) -1 Charisma. Uhm, you look perfectly fine, if a little cold. Those with the darker predilections such as necrophilia may even prefer you this way. To those people you appear to have an extra 20 charisma.
Curses
Eian''s Condemnation (Curse) -100% to all attribute gains. Hurry up and perish.
Titon''s Judgement (Curse) When exposed to the sun and when outside in daytime, -50% to all attributes.
Blessings
Darkness of the Demon Monarch (Blessing) 100% resistance to holy and light magic acquired. 100% affinity to Darkness acquired.
Call of the Grave Queen (Blessing) By consuming the flesh of the fallen (dead), you will absorb a small part of their stats. 100% death affinity. 100% increase to all death related skills. 100% immunity to poison and mundane (non-divine) curses.
Odin the All-Father''s Retribution (Blessing) 1000% increase to all mana related skills. 1000% increase to growth of all mana related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Summon Raven Familiar(s). Title acquired: Lady of Ravens.
Earthmother Gaia''s Compassion (Blessing) 200% increased growth to all health related attributes (doesn''t apply to achievement bonuses). Skill acquired: Flesh Manipulation.
Skills
Summoning Magick 8 Capable of contracting and summoning creatures. Strength depends on character attributes. Higher proficiency allows for more and higher leveled summons.
Flesh manipulation MAX Through excruciating effort and pain, the user can manipulate their own biomass. Eating flesh will add to available biomass.
Necromancy 3 Defying death, controlling death. Raising corpses to fight for you, and casting your enemies into despair.
Mana Sense 4 The basic skill of sensing mana allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the precision and control over your spells will become.
Mana Manipulation 6 The basic skill of mana manipulation allows you to more freely use your mana. The more you train, the higher the efficiency and strength of your spells will become.
Telekinesis 7 An advanced magic manipulation skill that allows the user to manipulate objects by using their own mana as fuel.
Telepathy 1 An advanced magic skill that allows the user to send thoughts to those near her. Innate unique skill. Level up to establish mental links for two-way communication.
Death Energy Manipulation 8 The basic skill of a Necromancer, one who manipulates death.
Fire manipulation 8 The ability to freely manipulate the element of fire.
Dark Energy Manipulation 6 The ability to control the mysterious dark energy. The power of the void, a high warlocks specialty.
Artillery Mage 2 Reduces the mana cost of spells cast at extreme range by 4%
Spells
Summon Raven Familiar 7 (Active) Summon a raven familiar to do your bidding.
Summon rare Imp Familiar 5 (Active) Summon a rare Imp familiar to do your bidding.
Summon Rare Fire Elemental 5 (Active) Summon a rare fire elemental to immolate your adversaries.
Summon Skeleton Warrior 3 (Active) Summon skeleton warriors to do your bidding. Number depends on Summoning skill x summon creature level
Summon Skeleton Mage 3 (Active) Summon skeleton Mages to do your bidding. Number depends on Summoning skill x summon creature level
Summon Skeleton Archer 3 (Active) Summon skeleton Archers to do your bidding. Number depends on Summoning skill x summon creature level
Raise undead 1 (Active) You can raise a corpse from the dead, bringing them back to fight for you. Amount: Summoning magick x spell level
Corpse Explosion 1 (Active) Make the corpses of your fallen enemies explode in showers of gore.
Aura of Dispair 2 (Passive) Undead minions close to you gain a stat boost equivalent to 2% of your int. Enemies gain a stat debuff of 2% based on your int.
Darkbolt 6(Active) Gather a heavy mass of dark energy and hurl it at your enemies.
Fireball 1(Active) Gather a ball of fire and hurl it at your enemies. Explodes on impact.
Conflagrate 7 (Active) Channel the fires of hell to conflagrate your foes.
Blast Wave 4(Active) Fire erupts from your body in a circular shockwave, burning enemies and buying you time.
Great Firewall 7(Active) Create a Great wall of fire to prevent your enemies from fleeing as you burn them to ash.
Blazing Barrier 2(Active) A barrier of fire, reducing incoming damage. Burns whatever comes into contact with it.
Death Energy Absorption 7 (Active) To become one with death is to go against the natural law of the world. You have somehow found a way.
Conjure Soulstone 1(Active) Create a vessel to hold souls. The higher the level of this skill, the more powerful a soul you can trap.
Curse of Weakness 2(Active) Curse your enemies, making them more frail and susceptible to physical attacks.
Drain Life 5(Active) Directly reaps the life-force of the enemy for your own use. You are no ordinary warlock since death is also your domain.
Fire Enchantment 1(Active) The Witch imbues something with fire, increasing the damage it deals.
Death and Decay 2 (Active) By your will, everything will rot, decay and die away.
Chapter 29 - 旅の途中 After my grand victory over the bonerlord lars rick, I went back to the cave. The people were suspicious of me because of my necromancy, but Ren-kun and his family vouched for me so it ended well. After that, the soldiers, civilians, Ren-kun and my minions all had a meeting. I was very bored so I fell asleep on Tie''sha''s lap almost immediately. While I was eating honeycakes in my dreamland, it seems they decided to travel to Larlen. I only drooled a little bit by the way! Only a little, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, it seems that Ghesten was a smaller town on the way to Larlen, but it has been completely sacked by the bonerlord. This group I''m with right now are the surviving refugees from Weimar and Ghesten. Larlen still stands proud and strong, apparently. I''m a little bit excited because Larlen has the strong adventurer Grom told me about earlier, the guy with the level of over 600. But at the same time, I''m a little bit scared. What if the old man decides to attack me because I am dead? This amazing logic of mine leads me to conclude that I must get stronger. However, I have only just registered as an adventurer. I haven''t even completed a single job yet! Shaymful disprey! Of course, the Alyce-chan party conquered a bigly big caravan and we are currently riding behind Ren-kun''s black carriage. I am sitting in the front seat next to Tie''sha, and Grom is driving the carriage, deftly handling the two horses hitched to it. In the back of my carriage, I have stored my snacks. Ahen. The number of snacks have increased by two, but I think Hal and ithne have potential to join my future adventurer''s party, so perhaps I should save them for later like Grom and Tie''sha. However, the Alyce-chan jury is currently suspending judgment until further evidence has been uncovered. What evidence is that you ask?! That Hal and ithe are delicious snacks that I should save for later, of course. Anyway, as our little procession of derelicts is proceeding down the road, snaking its way through a mountain-range surrounded by trees on either side... I am bored. Grom, lend me your glowstick. I ask, holding out my hand. My big dwarf doesn''t even question my order and just hands it over like a good, obedient minion. Fufufu, he is coming along nicely even though I haven''t shot him with the Alyce-chan beam of corruption yet. Yes yes. There will be time for corruption later, for now it''s time to liven up this boring road-show! Yaaah! I yell, jumping to my feet and raising the glowing blue sword to the skies. Some of the sleeping snacks in the back awake with a start, but I don''t care about them. Ahen ahen. I clear my throat. Now, my faithful minions. Since I am bored, it is time for the Alyce-chan karaoke! Does anyone know a traveling ditty? I look around expectantly, only to be greeted by a phalanx of blank eyed stares. Ah, beard-san is swaying in the wind. But I don''t think beard-san knows any traveling songs. Suddenly, a girl snack raises a hand like she is in class. It''s that black haired girl that Grom brought with him from Weimar. Uh... what was her name again? Ravioli? Revan? Riv... river-chan! Ahen. Ah yes, her name was Rivanna, wasn''t it? Yes, Rivanna? I say. By now, my stance with the sword held high is starting to threaten my balance and I don''t want to fall down and look inelegant, so I reluctantly lower my glowstick. Lady Alyce, what... is karaoke? Suddenly, my shoulders droop in dejection. Ah... of course you don''t know. There isn''t even a karaoke-box anywhere... although Grom''s nose sucking in the nosehair sometimes makes a snorting sound, I don''t think the beat will be enough for a song. I say. The fuck are you talking about lass, leave me nose alone, I trimmed me beard last night with a dagger. Grom says. Swiftly, I reorient myself in his direction and point at him. How devious! If you trim the beard, then beard-chan has even less surface area with which to absorb breadcrumbs to eat and gain sentience. Cunning indeed. Fufufu, as expected of my hairy meat pie. Good good. Although you should stop playing with your dagger at night too much. I say, turning back to my other minions. They are all staring at me now, some of them with dislocated jaws. I suppose I should give a demonstration. I say and hand the glowstick back to Grom. Karaoke is when you take turns singing! I will start. I say. For a moment, I deliberate over what to sing because I don''t have any background music. In the end, I decide to use the melody for white christmas. I''m dreaming of a honeyed cake. Just like the ones I used to know. Where the caketops glisten, and the children listen! To hear flakes of gold, on cakes of old! Ahen... Yes. May all your cakes be honeyed and gold, together we shall travel to the delishas kingdom of old. I sing, happily swaying back and forth to a melody nobody else can hear. Even I can''t hear the melody. But I am definitely very sane. I finish my improvised song with a little flourish and a bow. Okay! Now it''s your turn! If you don''t know a song just make it up. I say. Like you did? Grom asks. I feel my face heating up, but I am absolutely not blushing, you know? I''m not, alright?! Ah, I only made up the part about the honeycakes. I answer confidently, nodding to myself smugly as I activate my deception skill. Wasn''t that the whole song? Tie''sha asks. My face only grows redder. Ss-so what! It''s not as if you could do any better if you just made up a song on the spot! You would just start singing about how you love late night nugi-nugi or how you like to suck my... Realizing what I was about to say, I immediately stop. Nugi-nugi is fine, but Tie''sha''s odd fetishes are a bit too embarrassing and I don''t want my other snacks to know about it. Thankfully, I averted the crisis by clutch-pressing the reset button. Yes, let''s continue while ignoring that. Grom would sing about his daily battles with beard-san or how many ways he could kill his sister and present her to me as a snack. For example. Nodding to myself, I feel like I have finished something important so I turn around to face Ren-kun''s carriage in front, and sit back down with a satisfied feeling in my tummy.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. I can''t help but smile a bit to myself as I am not bored any longer. However, Ren-kun''s head is now poking out of the side of his carriage. He is staring wide-eyed at me with a cute blush on his delectable little cheeks. I still kind of want to eat them because that soft white flesh just seems so delicious, like juicy cotton candy. Ah, since he is still staring at me, now might be a good time to surprise him. Quickly before he can look away, I attack him with a tehepero. His eyes widen further and the blush deepens. Fufufu. Next, I pull out my secret weapon, the ahegao double peace! My old friend does not disappoint and soon, Ren-kun''s eyes go all white and roll back as his head disappears from the window. Perhaps.. the ahegao was too much? Or double peace-sama was too cute? Ah wait... I wonder if butlerman did something to Ren-kun in the carriage? Yeah, he must''ve. That... definitely wasn''t my fault. I only set the Alyce-chan beam to 10% of its destructive power! It''s fine, you know? I did not corrupt the shota, okay? Goddamn it! Ahen. Now, I wonder why my minions are silent. My karaoke should''ve induced them to start singing for me but they are all silent and stuff. Ah, I wanted karaoke to ameliorate our condition of quaint silence but nobody is singing. I say, leaning back. Behind me, ithne speaks up. My lady, your voice was amazing. I thought my singing could compare to the siren''s song but... now I have no confidence left. Ah, even though I am just an amateur, seaweed-chan was kind enough to praise my clumsy attempt at singing. Ehehe, Alyce-chan is a little bit happy. Alright! I''ve decided. I say. When we get to Lalaromp city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, we will make an adventurer''s party and many a traveling ditty! Seaweed-chan and Battousai, what do you say? Do you want to join the dank side of the dwarf?! I ask excitedly. Of course, they don''t answer immediately. Such a serious question needs to be considered carefully before they can give me an answer. Of course, I also need to sort out my Witch coven. The first member is going to be Tie''sha, but she is still a fresh young teenage mutant ninja beastmaid, so she requires some training in the dungeon before she can satisfy me. After I make Tie''sha a witch in my coven, I would like to grab a seaweed flavored snack. She has nice healing abilities and her favorite element seems to be water. I can make her the main water witch, and I will be the fire witch... hmm, or maybe death witch? I don''t have that class though, so maybe I will stick with fire. After rebelling against the evil tyranny of system-chan and breaking past level 99 into level wan handred, I could set my third class. According to my status table, I only have one class slot left. The trouble is that I don''t remember when I get to choose the next class! It is probably at least after I reach level 300, so I have some ways to go. Therefore, let''s appoint the Alyce-chan as supreme fire-loli witch in addition to her role as overloli. Yes, that sounds goodly good. Lost in my ponderings, I teleport up the road conveniently until I see smoke rising in the distance. It seems we''re coming up on the smoldering ruins of Ghesten. Several soldier guards on their horses mumble sadly to themselves about their losses. I can indeed relate. No doubt Ghesten also lost their candy apple seller and maybe even their honeycake cook! Boner-kun really did commit a terrible travesty. It was good that Alyce-chan crushed and ate the boner, yes yes. I wonder if it''s Alyce-chan''s turn to commit an atrocity? I am not sure we are currently strong enough to delve into the depths of this world''s moria and slay the evil firebreathing dwarf dragon queen, so I will probably stop over at Larlen to level up my minions and solidify my witch coven in the mean time. I just have to be careful. This world definitely has a church and any medieval church no doubt has inquisitors! Please stop the witch burning, goddamn it! Come to think of it, perhaps I should destroy the church of the god of light or whatever that bastards name was. You know, the fucker who dared to curse me?! How dare he curse me when I am just a cute little corpse-loli! Hmm, yes. I have many goals. Many things on my to do list. But the first condition is to become stronger, and to make my minions stronger as well. Riding in to the still smoking wreckage that used to be Ghesten town, our procession is quiet. We''ve traveled for awhile and it''s night-time. The soldiers are debating whether or not they should camp here. Oh, butlerman emerged from the Ren-kun carriage. It seems he is taking charge. After they talked strategy for awhile, our big group decides to camp on the outskirts of Ghesten, so we ride through the destroyed city and emerge on the other side. In the distance, the moon hangs brightly over snowy mountain-tops, bathing the big titties of mother earth with it''s gentle, lambent silver disco lights. Agepoyo agepoyo, it''s camping time! Grom, I command you to steer our mighty vessel away from the plebs so we can make our own campsite! Of course, my minion obeys. Meanwhile, Hal and ithne take the minor snacks to the big camp and liberate some tents from them to carry back. I take this most opportune moment to thoroughly Nugi-nugi Tie''sha. My, my lady! Nnnh. She squirms and wurms. The minor snacks return with our tents just in time to catch Tie''sha''s bright red face as she excuses herself, running to the treeline to powder her nose. Lass, don''t be too hard on her will ye? Grom mutters quietly. I get a sudden, violent urge to eat candy apples in front of Grom with my tongue, but thankfully I am a master of self-control, so I suppress the urge. Good thing too, because there are no candy apples here! Ah, I lament for their lack. I know, I forget that not everyone is dead. You know, when I was in Weimar at the honeycake dispenser house, I got to take a bath! But I forgot that normal people breathe, so I submerged myself in the water long enough to make Tie''sha panic. I think that was the first time I worried her. I tell Grom. Tie''sha is coming back now, but it seems Rivanna and the other kids want to go too. They are staring at me and waiting. Go! Why are you waiting for my approval? I am not your school master. Hmm. But I guess I am the overloli, so perhaps it makes sense for them to look to me for guidance. I try waving my hand in a queenly manner. It''s good to practice my wrist movements for later. Go on then. I say. Grom gets off the caravan cart thing we''ve been riding on to go and help put the tents up. I go as well. Crouching down beside my bearded minion, I grab myself a field-camping package and happily tot tot over to an empty lot to begin the assembling procedure. Wh-what the hell is this! I shout. The goddamn sticks don''t fit together, and what''s with this canvas thingie huh? Frustrated, I grab a stick and try to fit it to the canvas, poking the stick into the canvas again and again to no avail. Why won''t you accept stick-kun, stupid canvas bitch! Accept it! Accept it! I say, struggling to piece the tent together. With trembling hands and the clack swish of sticks and canvas, I struggle in vain... A wild Tie''sha approaches. She is smiling smugly at me with her cute red lips, and her ears are twitching. Gah, this thing is harder to assemble than fucking Ikea furniture! I tell her. Do you need help with that, my lady? N-no, not really. I was just checking the tent-kit! Who do you think I am? Of course, the great Alyce-chan overloli would not debase herself by attempting to assemble a camping tent, you know? Tie''sha walks over to where I am kneeling, and with a smile she reaches down and pats my head. Yes yes, Lady Alyce. You''re as insincere as ever. So cute Tie''sha says as she absentmindedly rubs my head and ruffles my hair. Then her cheeks redden. Ahh, I mean, uh... What, what''s ikea furniture?! Hmm, for a moment there, I thought Tie''sha admitted that she was a lesbianism because she called me cute. I guess she was just wondering about Ikea furniture. Ahen. Listen well Tie''sha. Ikea furniture is a great puzzle. Something made by the evil god of furniture to confuse and confuzzle unwary souls. You see, sometimes parts are missing! Other times, there are too many parts and you don''t know where they all fit. It''s a hell! My lady, I don''t really get it, but here, let me take care of our tent. Tie''sha says. I think she just casually dropped something dangerous in there, but I could be mistaken. Our tent, she said. Will... will Alyce-chan be assaulted? It, it is a risk I am willing to take! After all, Tie''sha will be a good pillow. And she smells very sweet and delicious after a day of travel. Not that I am starting to become addicted to her smell. Alyce-chan is a very pure and innocent woman, you know? I am definitely not a pervert, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, it seems Grom gets a tent to himself because he is so big. Maybe he will use his dagger again. Like me and Tie''sha, ithne and Hal are also going to share a tent. Perhaps Hal intends to practice late night battoujutsu on seaweed-chan. Ahen. As for my case, they say you can''t put the same shoe on every foot, but in Tie''sha''s case she wouldn''t want to do that. Instead, she would want to take the shoes off. Ah, perhaps she will indulge in the late night one woman DJ show after she has unveiled my feet? Let''s ignore that possibility! It is risky, but my Tie''sha is nice and lovely and smells mouthwateringly sweet after a long day of travel. She is also a soft and nice pillow, so this time I shall allow our cohabitation. If I cling to her really tightly, then she won''t be able to do embarrassing things, right? That''s why... let''s hug her tightly tonight and sniff her surreptitiously. I-I mean... uh, re-reset button! I quickly press it, so stop looking at me like I am a dubious woman. I am perfectly normal, okay? Goddamn it! O-okay Tie''sha. It is after all a maid''s duty to attend to her master, so I will allow you to be my pillow tonight. I say, accepting it. It slightly annoys me that Tie''sha is so quick to erect the tent. It took her all of a couple of minutes! Oi, Tie''sha! I know I should be proud of my lovely servant''s proficiency, but still! You''re outshining your master here! Naughty Tie''sha. Perhaps I can sneak in a quick nugi-nugi before bed, but I have to be careful not to aggro Tie''sha too hard, because if I get her into the enrage phase, there is no telling what kind of embarrassing things she will do to my body while I am asleep. It is important for Alyce-chan to get a good nights sleep, because who knows what kind of amazing honeycakes the future holds? Lalaromp city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, is my next destination, and it definitely has something delicious for me to eat! It definitely has, okay? Goddamn it! Chapter 30 – It seems I ordered Take-away Ever since coming to this world, I have not had a single evacuation of the undercarriage, you know? It''s relevant, alright?! I''m reminded of this because my Tie''sha pillow is currently a little bit bloody in a certain place and that took me by surprise. I felt like Vader when he sensed Obi-wan. The blood was a presence I had not felt in a long, long time and even though it''s not accompanied by any annoying cramps for me, that special smell is there. I can tell because the Alyce-chan nose is sensitive to smells, okay? I didn''t do anything suspicious like burying my nose.... Ahen. She has cute fluffy wolf ears and a fuwafuwa tail way better than any duster although it would be sacrilegious to use her lovely tail for that purpse. Anyway, that is why I thought, perhaps her anatomy is different from a humans anatomy. Alyce-chan was foolishly naive! Since I am getting a strong urge to further investigate this issue, I think it''s best if I sneak away from my sleeping beastmaid while I can still control myself. Thus, I unbind the rope on our tent and go outside. It still seems to be early in the day, just after the transitory period where night breaks into dawn, and dawn gives way to a fully loaded blue sky-chan populated with flocculent fluffy cotton candies. Ahen. It''s not like my next objective that I want to achieve in Lalaromp city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, is to eat cotton candy, okay? Goddamn it! It definitely isn''t, alright?! I am not that interested in food. Not even in Gordon Ramsay''s Lamb Sauce or Tie''sha''s sandwich sauce! I am only a little bit hungry and definitely didn''t want to eat Tie''sha''s undercarriage emissions. Ugh. My head is throbbing. Not my eye, only my head! There is nothing wrong with my eyes. I really want to drink some special blood. I also want to eat some meat, preferably Ren-kun roasted slowly over a roaring log fire as a nice cozy midday snack. But we can''t always have what we want. Still, why do I have such a hankering for blood even though I am a ghoul? I know blood is nutritious and all, but I am not a vampire, so blood should not be my cup of tea and yet a cup of blood tea sounds bloody delicious! Maybe next time, I will try some boiled blood in a cup to go along with my liver and fava beans. Aah, it is making me salivate just thinking about it. Gyuh! It''s a good thing I didn''t have a mind to lose, otherwise mind-chan would be lost in the supermarket of sanity right now calling for her mommy on the loudspeaker, but mommy would be busy trying to track down and kill someone to eat. Yes, it''s that kind of feeling at the moment. Even though I promised myself I would be a civilized undead ghoulish abomination, the spirit of Lintball still resides within Alyce-chan''s flat chest and I want some melty jellies! I demand it! Give me! Agh. Uncertain of what to do or how to deal with this, I pace back and forth outside our tent, wearing a little groove in the grass and muttering to myself about pale fresh ren-kun flesh, Tie''sha sauce and cotton candy. Of course, I fail to notice my hairy meat pie until he is upon me. Morning lass! He says, startling me out of my revelrie. What''s that ye be mutterin'' about some sauce? Did ye save some rations fer me? I dinnae see any. Wh-what are you talking about! I haven''t packed any food other than you and the other minions. I insist, even stomping my foot into the ground to cement my seriousness! Grom pokes my nose with one of his fat sausage fingers. It be no good fer ye to lie, lassy. If ye didn''t have some sorta meal with sauce, then why''s this red stuff on yer nose. I can instantly feel my world losing color. H-hold on! I watch in slow motion as Grom brings his finger to his mouth. On that finger, there is... Tie''sha sauce. My eyes widen extremely as Grom puts his finger in his mouth and licks it like he has just eaten barbeque or ribs or something. He even made a smacking sound, like a gourmet savoring the taste. What a peculiar taste. Say lass, what kinda sauce... Grom says, trailing off. He has frozen completely like a statue, and I turn around to see what he is staring at. Ah, it''s Tie''sha. Good morning. Her face is completely crimson and the Tie''sha sauce is visible between her legs. She is staring in horror at Grom, who is still frozen with his finger in his mouth. Quietly, Alyce-chan activates the stealth getaway! Tie''sha falls to her knees and uses whimpering cry! Stealth getaway interrupted. Quickly, I move to my Tie''sha who is crying with a very red face that she''s trying to cover with her hands. Sigh, why can''t I ever have a normal start to the day? It''s not my fault, Okay? Goddamn it! Of course, I hug my Tie''sha tightly to comfort her. At the same time, I use my succubus tail to point at Grom and then at the tents where the minor snacks are stored. Using the Alyce-chan special HNNNG telepathy, I order my minion to go stall them while I take care of Tie''sha. It seems to be a success because I can hear Grom''s footsteps as he is walking away. After a few steps, there is a sound like he is puking.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. Let''s ignore. How dare he waste the precious Tie''sha sauce! Ahen. I try to misdirect Tie''sha with a gentle nugi-nugi on her ears. There there, it''s alright. I whisper, and my beastmaid is gradually calming down. However, it seems while I was distracted with the nugi-nugi, my succubus tail has drifted in front of me. It is currently heading for Tie''sha like a heat-seeking missile and before I know what is happening, System-chan attacks.
Ping! Congratulations, you have learned a new skill: Succubus Sustenation
Oi, system-chan, what the hell does that mean?! Is sustenation even a real word? I guess system-chan can just do whatever she wants, the bitch lasagna! Ahen. Still, I feel strange and a little dizzy so I close my eyes. My... my energy is surging! Tie''sha is making some censorable sounds and energy is filling me like whoosh. My tummy is tingling like I''m eating a nice big warm meal and it''s very delishyas. It makes me giddy and fills me with the power of tehepero and fufufu. After some time, the rush of energy abates and my dizziness runs for the hills that don''t have eyes. I lazily open my oglers to find Tie''sha slumped against my chest unconscious, so I gently lay her down on the ground. It looks like she has calmed down a bit, I think... Maybe. But still, that was weird. I didn''t expect a system-chan attack, but then again she often takes me off guard, the conniving bitch. Very tricky indeed. This time though, it might be a good thing as I am no longer very hungry and ghoul-like. If I was optimistic, I might even claim that I''ve found my mind, but I don''t think I can stretch it that far. After all, the Alyce-chan mind is perpetually lost, but it looks like mommy has sated her hunger for now. I am happy to report that the Tie''sha sauce has mysteriously disappeared. Ah, Tie''sha really is a snack of the highest order! I''m so glad I picked her up. Anyway, it seems Grom is herding the minor snacks together like a teacher. He glances over here and I wave at him to let him know it''s okay. ithne and Hal also emerge from their tent. Seaweed-chan has bedhair, and so has the rurouni kenshin wannabe. With this timing, the rest of the group seems to also be getting ready. Butlerman is approaching from the distance and he meets and talks briefly with Grom. Then they start packing the tents and he walks over here again. Hmm. Maybe it''s my imagination, but his legs seem a little bit shaky and unsteady. Anyway, Grom comes and takes my tent down and we pack them together and rejoin the Ren-kun parade. Everyone is looking at me oddly because I am princess carrying my unconscious Tie''sha in my arms. But I will not compromise on this! She is mine, you hear me? Mine! Today, the overloli decrees that we shall ride in the back while Grom controls the horsies. I say pompously. Well, as pompously as I can while still carrying an unconscious maidling. She is my precious food dispenser! I will never give her away, never! In this manner, the caravan rolls ever on and on, down the road to Lalaromp city where the girls are green and the grass is pretty. Umu, the the midday sun is a bit warm, and my Tie''sha pillow is soft. I think it''s okay if I take a short nap. I snuggle close to Tie''sha and let the squeaky crunchy advance of caravan-chan lull me to sleep. ... ... ... In my dream, some X-rated things are happening, and I am almost drowning in Tie''sha sauce. Then Grom''s beard appears and starts eating all my sauce! Beard-san laughs evilly, like, ah ah aaah, dracula style, and two big fangs appear on the beard. It flies toward me with its mouth open to attack me with its vampire fangs! Nooo, sucking Alyce-chan''s blood is forbidden you know?! Suddenly, my eyes fly open and I can''t help but sit up with a gasp. I hold one hand to my chest and breathe deeply a few times, but the smell of my Tie''sha nearby quickly comforts me, letting me relax. You alright there lass? Grom asks. I wave away his concern. Yes yes, just a weird dream. Are we there yet? I ask, imitating a child and attacking Grom with a quick tehepero. He averts his gaze putting me on ignore. Hmpf! I also put him on ignore and direct my gaze toward the horizon where I find the answer to my previous question. Crushed between two gigantic tits of mother earth, is a very hard, protruding city with an impressive girth. I assume it''s Lalaromp city. The wall is certainly a lot more impressive than the previous walls I''ve seen. On this side of the pass, there isn''t much to see other than trees, so I assume that there is more action on the other side of the city. After all, Grom told me that this was a very active city of adventurers, so I would expect to see a lot of clich adventuring parties going to and fro dungeons... But from this side, there aren''t really any people. In fact, it seems that we are the only travelers. Squinting and activating the Alyce-chan special zoom lense, I scout out gate-kun. This time gate-kun is not congested at all. I can only see some dangerous looking guards. One of the guards is holding up a spyglass-like telescope and pointing it our way. Let''s greet them warmly by typing /greet in the console. I do that immediately, and follow it up by typing /wave in the console as well. The telescope man is startled when I wave at him, but please accept the Alyce-chan warm greeting! I come in peace! Don''t inspect me bro! I am definitely not a suspicious woman or an undead, you know? I only have cute horizontal elf ears, cute oni horns, nice long white hair, fangs and the secret hidden extra, the succubus tail. Therefore, I am definitely not a suspicious person, okay? Goddamn it! I shoot my Alyce-chan beam very hard HNNG at the guard to make him soft and pliant for later manipulation. Fufufu, the overloli is working hard today as well. Ahen. My very vital inspection of the obstaculus gatus is interrupted by a panicky yelp from Tie''sha. She wakes up flailing with a start and I quickly hug her. It''s okay, I got you. I whisper reassuringly. Lady Alyce? Wh-where am I? What happ- oh no... Tie''sha says. I can tell she is about to cry again, so I have to do something. That... wasn''t a weird dream? That thing really happened? Wait! Tie''sha inspects herself. The surprise on her face is fun to watch. Where did it go? She asks, puzzled. Since I am a magnanimous overloli, I reach out and pat Tie''sha''s head. Don''t worry. I took care of it. Tie''sha sniffles a bit and whimpers and I continue patting her as our procession draws closer to the big city. I can''t believe it wasn''t a dream... what about hi-him? She points with a shaky hand at Grom''s pack. He is obediently ignoring us, good good. My hairy meat pie never fails to deliver. You don''t have to worry about Grom. I have erased his memory with a special spell. I say, even puffing out my chest a little bit. What kind of spell is it? Can I learn it? Tie''sha says quietly. I don''t know if you can learn it. It might be a difficult spell for you Tizzy. Tizzy? Is that a new nickname for me? My cute maid asks. I nod vigorously, making my hair swish-swosh. Yup! I just thought of it. Isn''t it cute? Tizzy miss lizzy! Ohoho, secret joke. I say. Tie''sha''s eyes go blank for a second like maid.exe has stopped working. I don''t get it my lady... Tie''sha mumbles. Anyway, can you at least tell me the name of the spell you used? I would like to research it. Che, very well. Since it''s you, I shall tell you the name of my secret spell. It''s called don''t you dare mention this ever again Grom or I will kill you and eat you, okay? Goddamn it! It is a very powerful spell, but only if you know how to cast it. Tizzy might have some trouble casting, you see? Tie''sha''s face has turned white as a sheet, and she is just nodding. I... see... that spell... would definitely be a bit hard for me to... cast. Tie''sha nearly swoons, and lays back down again, mumbling. It really happened... it really happened... It''s okay Tie''sha, just take it easy and let me take it from here. I say, patting her on her forehead a few times and ruffling her hair. She looks like she is calming down, but she is still a bit anxious. She''s even biting her lip nervously. My dear Tie''sha, it seems I need to level up the Alyce-chan comforting skill. I will try harder, I promise! Therefore, I jump to my feet, pointing a hand to the skies in a special Alyce-chan pose as I shout Don''t you worry Tie''sha! This time, I will hande the penetration so just lay down and relax! I even finish it off with a self-satisfied fufufu, because I feel that this will surely comfort Tie''sha. If she knows I will handle the gate guards, then we can enter peacefully and Tie''sha can take it easy. It is my special reassurance strategy. I look over at Grom and notice that he is awfully close to the city gate. In fact, aren''t we right in front of them!? And why are there so many guards? Goddamn it! Chapter 31 – Take me to church. Ah, how wonderful it is to have good minions. You can do many things with minions. For example, you can use them to distract the gate guards while you nugi-nugi your Tie''sha to pass the time. Then, you can also leave them behind to talk to the guards about what happened with boner lord lars rick so that you don''t have to bother. I used the same trick in Weimar to great effect and even though there are more guards this time around, my minions have also multiplied. And get this! You can even send out your minions to scout for candy apple vendors! Awawa. Unfortunately, Grom, butlerman and the mustache guy from the boner fight have been engaged by the enemy, so I will have to suspend my plans to eat candy apples in front of Grom to punish him. For now, I must be content with my minor snacks. Maybe it''s a good thing, because it seems ithne and Hal are familiar with Lalaromp and can show me around to where the best food is. By the way, I have recovered the bigly big bag of goodies that I received from Ren-kun''s family and I am currently holding it and grinning from ear to ear, staring eagerly ahead down the street and drooling a little bit. People are walking and talking and shopping and a few look at me askance, but Tie''sha gently rubs me down with her cyan cerviette like a pro, rubby dubby begone slobby! Don''t drool like a tool! Even though I am a ghoul! Fufufu, I am making a new album. This time it''s hippity hoppity style! Yes, you heard right. It''s time for Alyce-chan to get home with the downies! Ahen. I cannot see a candy apple vendor, but maybe that is okay. After all, my current main objective is to acquire cotton candy. There is no way that this world doesn''t have cotton candy, alright? The ancient chinese civilization had it, so there is definitely no way that my wonderland doesn''t have cotton candy! I will not accept such a reality, you hear me system-chan?! Don''t make me start a new band called System-chan of a down! Ahen. Say, Tie''sha. Hal asks. Why is Lady Alyce muttering to herself and clearing her throat repeatedly? Eh... maybe it''s... Tie''sha trails off, looking my way. Yes, my fluffy maid! I nod seriously. Halfdan wildbob, it is clearly because I am casting a very tough spell called where is the cotton candy, goddamn it! I say. They just stare at me, so perhaps my explanation isn''t sufficiient. Let''s try again. Halloween wiferub, maybe you can help track down the cotton candy? I ask, sincerely, cocking my head to the side and looking up at the red-haired half-elf Rurouni kenshin wannabe. He looks confused, and points to himself quietly. Yes, you! Or maybe seaweed-chan knows where we can obtain the fluffy goodness? Hal still looks confused, but I don''t know why. I think I properly remembered his name. I did, didn''t I? Ah, it doesn''t matter. He is not my main snack anyway, he is seaweed-chan''s main snack. ithne, on the other hand, looks thoughtful. If I remember correctly, there was a confectionary near the main square, right Hal? Ye-yes, I think so. Near the Church of Titon? Hal replies. Un, that''s the one! Let''s go there! Lady Alyce is buying, right? ithne says, beaming an adorable smile my way and twirling her hair around a finger. Ah, seaweed-chan, how devious of you! But fear not, for the magnanimous overloli has a big bag of money to spend on cotton candy and other delishyas things. Therefore, I will pay, okay? Let''s go, lead the way! Yay! I say, jumping up and down filled with gaiety. ithne forcefully grabs Hal''s hand, leading the way. After a few steps, I reach over and Grab Tie''sha''s hand, following behind them. As we walk, something occurs to me. Didn''t they just say... church? As I am pondering this, we turn a corner and come out into a huge square! It''s really wide. There are street performers juggling and playing tricks, kids kicking a ball around, stalls full of food and nick-nacks and snacks. But the thing that really catches my eye, is the enormous, dominating white cathedral that takes up nearly half the square, sprawling there like a fat marshmellow. Marble steps lead up to two huge doors that are invitingly thrown open, and outside the gate I see two priest-like figures clad in white robes, their heads shaved bald. One of them is a woman, I think, although she looks more like a goblin than a human. Hopefully, she is not going to say ''my precious'', how horrible that would be for her husband when they are in bed. Ahen.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. It''s there, you see? ithne says enthusiastically, pointing at a small cozy-looking building next to the huge marshmellow cathedral. Hal, come on! Candy for the first time in months... after... so long in the dungeon... Suddenly, seaweed-chan tears up, and Hal comforts her with a quick hug. We start braving the many street performers, the sea of children playing, and the many street vendors. Once we are halfway across the square, I freeze. Oh... Seaweed-chan, did you say that this was the church of Titon? I ask. Yup! Many go to get his blessing every day for the Kul Malador, temple of the damned. It''s a high-level undead dungeon, but the first floors are easy and it gets progressively more difficult. It spans the lowest rank all the way up to B rank. Lots of people use it to level, but since undead stink and have debuffs like disease and rot, Titon''s blessing helps them fight. ithne says. Hey now, not all undead stink, right Tie''sha? I ask. Both ithne and Hal turn to look at us. Tie''sha nods hesitantly. Ye-yes...su...some undead... smell nice. Tie''sha says, her face going red. I tried to resist, HNNG, but it was futile. I must hug her and nugi-nugi! Just a little bit. Just a quick fix! I am not a nugi-nugi addict, okay? Goddamn it! After a short burst of nugi-action, I manage to calm down my heavy breathing and disengage from my cute maid. Tie''sha looks a bit dishevelled, but it''s her fault for being such a flirt, saying I smell nice. By the way, I am not bothered by the stares from the people in the public square. Before the two minor snacks can ask about Tie''sha''s experience with undead that smell nice, I push forward with my new plan. Can you three go and buy lots and lots of candy from the shop? I would like to go as well, but I want to investigate the church so we will split up our operations. Agent Tie''sha, I entrust you with this magical bag that increases the drop-rate for candy! I say, and hand Tie''sha the huge bag full of gold coins and jewelry from the Cornelives house. My lady, I''m scared to carry around so much gold. Besides, why would you want to investigate an anti-undead church? Tie''sha asks. I''ll tell you later. For now, go buy me some candy! And make sure to get lots and lots. Overwhelming sugarness! Go for it! Make the sweet tooth ache! Make Seaweed-chan faint from sugar overload! Go forth and prepare the delishyas kingdom for me! I say, waving my hand enthusiastically. Oh yeah, I''ll send Raven-chan as a guard. Then I can also easily find you if I get lost. Not that I would ever get lost! My sense of direction is legendary, after all. Yes yes. I will lend you the GPS since I definitely don''t need it! How great of me! Fufufu. I say, quickly summoning Raven-chan. It surprises a few people, and a street magician with a black top-hat is giving me the evil eye as though I''ve out-done him. Oi, it''s not my fault you''re shit! Although I don''t want the kids to focus on me since I am not a mere street performer. I am the legendary Lolician! Okay, I will help you out. I summon a second Raven-chan inside the hat of that magician guy in the hope that it will redirect attention to him. The great Lolician must go stealth mode to infiltrate the church, so this should prove an adequate distraction for me to slip away. Unfortunately, the black top-hat is a bit too small for a Raven-chan liutenant, so his hat gets torn apart. With wide, shocked eyes, he falls on his butt. The children clap enthusiastically, and I take this moment to activate the Alyce-chan stealth mode getaway, disappearing into the crowd like I am playing assassin''s creed. Ah, if I climb to the roof of the church, I wonder if there will be a haystack for me to dive into? Ahen. Having successfully distracted the plebs on the street and sent my minions out to gather resources to bring back to my base so I can build the delishyas kingdom, I redirect my attention to the church of Titon and its imposing facade. I can''t help but smile faintly as I walk up to the steps. This is the house of the bastard that cursed me with 50% decreased stats during the day. I wonder if he is home? Let''s pay him a visit. When I set foot on the first step, it somehow feels a bit heavy, like the air is pressing down on me. I ignore it and continue up the steps until I come before the precious lady-goblin and the monk of shining baldness. Good day my fellow believers. I say with a gentle smile as I walk up to them. The goblin-lady ignores me, but shiny head reflection man nods his head in greeting. They allow me to pass without incident, and I step past the threshhold. As soon as I am inside, I feel a cold, clammy oppressive feeling, like I am being stalked by a ghost. Of course, I ignore it. The church hall is huge, row upon row of benches, many murals, a painted ceiling, an impressive pew and in the very center of the church, a huge statue of an arrogant looking guy with long blonde hair. He is holding a trident to the skies pompously, as though he is better than me. How presumptuous. There is only one supreme being on this world, and it is I, the overloli. There are a few pious looking priestly robe-things shambling about, cleaning and mumbling to themselves. I ignore the ambience generating NPC''s and approach the huge statue. Every step I take now, increases the pressure that I feel bearing down on me. Don''t underestimate me! Alyce-chan can shoulder anything, even a fat god!
Warning: Titon, God of light, gazes hatefully upon you.
System-chan lets me know that I am being watched by a pervert. B-baka, stalking Alyce-chan and watching me from the heavens, you hentai! Ahen. O great god of light! I call out as I approach the statue. Please allow me to express my love for you with this greeting. I say, my voice reverberating throughout the huge church hall.
Warning: Titon, God of light has attempted to curse you.
I can''t help but giggle. Oh, would you look at that. I smirk. Anyway, here''s my greeting, o great Titon! I shout at the top of my lungs. I point my fist at the statue.Then I slowly raise my middle finger and grin, staring up at the statue as I wave my middle-finger back and forth in the air. Lost in my middle-finger worship, I fail to notice exactly when I am approached, but suddenly, there is a priest in front of me with a puzzled expression on his face. My lady, may I ask what you are doing? Ah, good day mister priest. I am just showing my favor to the great Titon by way of a traditional greeting. He likes it a lot. Why don''t you also try? I say. For a moment, the priest furrows his brow, but after a few seconds, he turns to the statue and imitates me, giving the statue of Titon the middle-finger. Fufufu, excellently goodly fine! I join in the worship, vigorously fingering the statue. Ahen. Let''s not finger too much, otherwise Tie''sha will get jealous. Anyway, I have accomplished my mission. Now it is time to evacuate. Even as I am leaving the hall, I see the priest that approached me going around to the other white-robed people and teaching them the middle-finger salute. ww. When I step outside, I feel a burden off my chest. Stupid fat god, don''t press me down! I am short enough as is so stop trying to compress my spine like that! Although I''m a perfect size for a loli, okay? Goddamn it! I look back one last time and see a group of 5 priests all gathered around the Titon statue deep in worship. They are worshipping very hard with their middle fingers, waving them at the statue enthusiastically, a zealous shine in their eyes. Good good. My work here is done. Now, where is my candy!? Chapter 32 – Old man, dont steal my candy! It did not take me long to complete my mission in the church, thus, my exodus from the place of the holy finger worship happened precipitately! Yes, Alyce-chan went quickly in and out, like a ninja. I''m great, right? Anyway, because I''m so fast, it seems the gang is still purchasing candy from the candyman. I enlist the help of the Raven-chan liutenant I summoned for the street magician, who seems to still be working hard, though he is troubled when my Raven flies over. Alyce-chan''s sojourn through the milling masses is swift and efficient and before long, I have arrived before a small, cozy-looking confectionary candy shop. My whole body tingles with anticipation, and I might be drooling a little bit! However, that is not going to prevent me from raiding the candy dungeon! Yes, Alyce-chan is go! I break and enter! Since candyshop-chan isn''t a virgin, my breaking and entering doesn''t produce any undue destruction and I enter smoothly. A little bell goes ting ting as I push the door open and immediately, many deliciously sweet smells assault me. Ghoul drool intensifies. Luckily, my Tie''sha is inside the shop and quickly comes over with a cyan serviette. Meanwhile, Hal and ithne are trying to pay for a big mountain of various candies stacked on the reception desk. The old, kindly looking woman servicing them seems to be slightly wide-eyed, but her attitude is sufficiently professional to inspire my respect. After all, candy is serious business. Her approach is appropriate! Very good indeed. Full marks. Although I want to immediately go inspect the candy loot that has dropped in the confectionary dungeon, I resist my impulse and turn to Tie''sha instead. You''ve done well! I say, smiling up at her as she wipes the last of my drool away. You too, Lady Alyce. Erm... Tie''sha goes stealth-mode and bends down to whisper in my ear. So, what did you do at the church? Tie''sha whispers. Her voice and breath tickles my ears and makes my spine tingle. Ah, Tie''sha ASMR is the best! Whisper more! Ahen. Tie''sha, I didn''t quite catch that. I say, turning my head to the side and presenting my ear to Tie''sha. My lady, why did you go to the church? Tie''sha tries again. Ah, so many tingly tingles.E ven my toes buzz with fuzziness. Ti..Tie''sha, whisper again... I say in a small voice. Tie''sha presses her lips against my ear. Lady Alyce, I know you can hear me so just tell me already. Ah, Tie''sha''s whispering voice is the best! I feel so relaxed and at peace that I could faint in happiness now. Tie''sha will surely catch me and cushion my head with her chest. How nice, how nice. Unfortunately, I have to cut short the Tie''sha ASMR because Hal and ithne have finished packing the loot from the confectionary dungeon and are heading this way. Before they can impinge upon my private moment with Tie''sha, I quickly take her head between my hands and pull her down so I can whisper back. Reciprocity is important in a relationship, you know? I make sure to blow a bit of air into her adorable fluffy ears too, which makes them twitch cutely. I will tell you everything later, but I made the priests blithely gesticulate rudely to their god. They''re happy in their ignorance. I think they will continue the middle-finger worship for awhile and really, really annoy Titon and that makes me happy. I say, taking a small pause to blow a bit more air into Tie''sha''s ear. Her whole body squirms nicely, but since I have her head between my hands, there is no escape! Her tail is wagging wildly too! Alyce-chan domination! Finish the attack! I wanted to continue fingering for awhile longer, but I thought Tie''sha might get jealous, so I left early. I whisper, finishing by licking the tip of her twitch, twitching animal ears. Nnnnn. Tie''sha makes a cute sound. I pat her head, using my amazing HNNG to restore equilibrium to the situation just in time for Hal and ithne to approach. Ahen. I see you''ve magnificently completed my quest. I say, turning to Seaweed-chan who is holding the big bag of candy loot. Hmm, that''s odd. Their faces are kind of flushed red, and they are bashfully averting their gazes. I wonder what''s wrong with them. Even Tie''sha''s face is very red, and she has tears in her eyes and is shivering. The only one here who isn''t acting strange is my GPS. Jeez, you guys are hopeless if you fall to such meager attacks. I admonish, wagging my finger at them. Come now! We must find a good place where we can enjoy our loot, but ah, I also want to visit the adventurer''s guild. It''s pitiful that my rank is so low. I should be at least SSS rank, right? Ohoho! As I say this, I grab Seaweed-chan''s free hand and lead her out of the confectionary. That''s right. Now is the time to make friends with Seaweed-chan since she is carrying such important loot. I wonder what goodies this bag contains. Alyce-chan can hardly wait to roll for the loot! Although I will roll with loaded dice and take anything I want! Fuhahah. This is why I am the evil overloli. Once outside, I freeze because I have no idea where to go next. Of course, such things are beneath me. That''s what you have minions for, right? Thus, I urge seaweed-chan to take me to a place where I can indulge in the loot. Seaweed-chan looks confused for a moment before her eyes light up and she smiles. Not at me, but rather over at Hal. We should report to the guild. After all we''ve been through, don''t you think that old bugger will increase our rank? ithne says, the enthusiasm making her hands tremble. I can tell because I am still holding her free hand. Which reminds me. I still need to sort out my coven and then start the recruitment. I have my maid-witch Tie''sha, and I want an Ice-witch healer with seaweed colored hair. However, I am not sure I want a sand witch, but perhaps such a thing is inevitable. As long as it''s not an Alyce-chan sand witch, I can tolerate it! But the Alyce-chan sand witch is forbidden territory! I will never relinquish it! Only my closes aides may indulge in the Alyce-chan sandwitch! Ahen. What am I saying? Let''s press the reset button. Yes. Okay. Now that my dark past is behind me, it is time to proceed to the Lalaromp adventurer''s guild. I am kind of shaking with excitement. Palms sweaty, knees weak system-chan spaghetti! There''s Tie''sha sauce on my sweater already! Ahen. My lady, you seem very excited. Tie''sha asks me as we are walking down a cozy-looking street. There are antediluvian-looking street lamps hanging in rows on the half-timbered, squat houses, and it''s such a nice environment that just oozes coziness and atmospherically smokey chimneys. Yup! I''m a little bit pumped up. After all, isn''t that strong wizard guy the guild master?! High-leveled people are cool, you know? I want to meet him! I say. I''m walking down the street with a spring in my step, like Benny from the Olsen-gang, though I''m not tall, but small. It''s noot noot like anyone will get that reference, but a woman can dream, you know? Anyway, so it came to pass that the countess... I mean, the Alyce-chan, with a spring in her dubstep, made her way to the Lalaromp adventurer''s guild. The guild is on its own street, and we walked for awhile, passing by taverns and inns with a lot of armored people outside inside out, living la vida loca and drinking moca.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. Hal explained that there is an entire district dedicated to adventuring, which sounds exciting! But it also means that there are lots of lowly beasts that think they can compare to the overloli. Sure, they might out-rank me now, but soon, the overloli shall rule supreme and trample the world beneath her feet! Of course, Tie''sha might get jealous of that, but it can''t be helped since her operating principle is toes before hoes and she is a bit perverted. Strange, since they say that dogs take after their master, but I am definitely not weird or perverted, you know? I am just a normal overloli that is very excited to eat her candy, okay? Goddamn it! By the way, drool keeps coming out, but luckily, Tie''sha''s cyan serviettes continue to appear from her cleavage. She is an amazing tissue dispenser. As expected of my supreme maid, fufufu. Yes, I am proud. My Tie''sha is the best, alright? I won''t have anyone saying otherwise! If anyone badmouthes my Tie''sha, I will kill them and eat their face on a piece of toast dipped in their blood! Resistance is floccinaucinihilipilification! Yes. I think it best that we get this guild business over with, since I can then eat candy. However, meeting the high leveled guild master is also exciting, so I am a bit torn about what to do. Maybe the confusion and distress shows on my face, because many people look at me askance as we enter the huge main guild building. Again, it is quite clich. There are lots and lots of leather clad men and women equipped with various implements designed to inflict pain. However, this is not a German BDSM dungeon, but an adventurer''s guild! Fufufu. Had you fooled there, didn''t I? I realize that I am grinning madly, staring out at all the adventurers, while I have a conversation with myself in my own head. But... I am definitely still sane! Very sane! Sane in the membrane. I feel I am in danger of aggroing some unwanted attention, so I squeeze in-between my minions and let them escort me up the aisle of the adventurer''s guild to the desk with the receptionists. Most of the staff members are female, and most are quite young. However, I do see a couple of male staff members and we are heading towards one such staff member. By the way, staff member is not an innuendo, okay? Goddamn it! Ahen. ithne and Hal report to the male... staff... member... and then after a brief explanation of their circumstances, all hell breaks loose! Many guild guards appear and surround us, and we are taken to a side room. I must be honest here and admit that I wasn''t really listening to the explanation. I was busy staring at the bag of candy. My fingers are tingling with a creepy crawly feeling, kind of an itch really. Alyce-chan cannot hold it. I am not like Porkins. I am no angel. I cannot hold it! Aaargh, shut the fuck up! Stop talking already. Gimme the candy. Gimme now, goddamn it! Uguu~ Wait here. The guild master will be with you shortly. Ah, these stupid ants mumbling about stuff. Alyce-chan can''t hold it, you know? I can''t! If I really wanted to resist, I would HNNNG and pass the time with a nugi-nugi distraction. However, the truth is that I am a sinful overloli. I don''t want to resist it. I want to give in. That''s why I lunged for the candy bag. Seaweed-chan didn''t see me coming. She is oblivious to my struggle and all her attention is on the people from the guild. She is talking seriously, but she is wide open! Alyce-chan is going to ninja loot! HNNNG! I throw myself forward at ithne, with my hands outstretched. Candy bag, gimme! I shout as my warcry, launching my super amazing secret ninja loot attack! Just as my hand is about to reach the goodiebag, something slams into me and I am flung sideways into the wall with a crash. My skull whiplashes into the wall with a wet crack and I slide down the wall to the ground. However, my vision is clear. It was nothing compared to system-chan, so there is no way I''d faint from something like this. I rise to my feet and dust off my dress, slightly miffed that my ninja-looting attempt failed. Hmm. Something wet is running down my back. It couldn''t be! My brains, don''t leak! I need you! I know I haven''t been in touch lately, but seriously don''t go! Noooo. Drip drip. I look down. Ah, it''s crimson. Thank god it''s not my brains. I need my brains for later, so I can''t let them leak so casually. Good that it''s only blood. I am about to close my eyes and use flesh manipulation, but even before I can do that, it''s already healed up. Fufufu. My body is amazing after all. I notice that the whole room is silent and that everyone is staring at me. Nothing unusual then. But still, their eyes are looking at my body! I know my body is amazing, even though I am washboard flat and all. But that is part of the charm! Still, stop this leery lecherous gaze! Close your mouthes! You don''t need to widen your eyes at little old me, okay? Goddamn it! Wuh-what are you all looking at me for? I ask indignantly, puffing out my cheeks. This seems to break the spell and set the room into action. I thought they would all draw their weapons on me or something, but instead, a meaty looking soldier guy in leather armor steps forward. He has a sheepish look on his face. Ah, sorry bout that. Are you alright? He asks. Of course I am. But how dare you intercept me! That loot is mine, you know? The precious loot! Even just saying that, my drool starts overflowing again. Just as I am about to walk over and reclaim what is rightfully mine, the door opens and a very deep voice asks. Oh? What''s this about loot? Ah, little ithne, welcome back. The voice is very... deep. Even deeper and cooler than Morgan Freeman''s voice although that is sacrilegious to say. Tap tap. Into the room walks an old, white-haired man with pitch-black skin. He is wearing a robe and has a bejeweled walking stick that I can only assume is his staff. By the way, Alyce-chan is not interested in an old man''s staff, you know? I am just admiring it because it''s adorned with dangling jewels. Who is this old man who so daringly displays his staff and dangling jewels to me!? His hair is long and frizzly, crazy and unkempt, and I can see deep wrinkles carved in his leathery face. He is a man of much experience, I assume, so perhaps this is the rumored guild master. His attention is currently on Seaweed-chan, but I bow in his direction. Pu-pleased to meet you! If I have to say so myself, then my bow and formal greeting was top knotch. As I raise my head up, I find the old white-haired wiz looking at me. After a few seconds, his brow furrows. Who might you be? He asks. My name is Alyce. I came here to eat candy! Ah.. I mean, I came with seaweed-chan, I- I mean ithne, and, and... it''s not like I admire you or anything! Your level might be a bit high, but I will soon trample you underfoot like the others. Ahaha, yes, that''s right! Bow before your overloli! Ohoho Ugh, I ended up saying something weird again. I even did the ojousama laugh as I covered my mouth with my hand! The old man looks at me with a puzzled expression, his brow still furrowed. I am not sure the reset button will cut it this time. After a period of awkward silence, he clears his throat. Ah, I see. My name is Bertram Wright, guild master and A rank adventurer. It is my pleasure to meet you, little lady. He says. The words are normal, but this old man... I can feel his gaze. It is not ordinary. There is something weird about it. His eyes move from me, to my companions and back. Oh no! Could it be that he is aiming for the candy? Shit! I should''ve ninja looted it before we got here. But if I move now, then perhaps I can still make it. Unfortunately, while I am deep in thought, strategizing about how to reclaim my loot, the old wizard man, Bertram Wright, walks over to ithne and takes the bag from her. Of course, my eyes narrow at him and I suppress the urge to growl and bare my fangs at him. He has the gall to look amused as he hoists the candy bag up and down, seemingly trying to gauge its weight. My eyes follow the candy bag intensely as he bobs it up and down arrogantly. The cretin! Quite a lot you got here, little ithne. We might have to sort through it with the guild. He says, still smirking at me. G-guild master, with all due respect, that is not mine. ithne says. Ah, seaweed-chan is cute. She looks desperately between me and Bert, trying to mediate. But it is already too late. A matter of life or death! Nobody will steal my candy! Don''t be modest now, ithne. You''ve earned it. We will even increase your individual rank in addition to your party rank, so you should accept your rightfully earned loot. Bert continues. Th-thank you very much Guild master, but still, that isn''t mine. Seaweed-chan says. As I thought, she is a good snack candidate after all. No! It''s mine goddamn it! Give me! I shout. My patience is at an end. My stomach cannot wait any longer. I must have sweetness, sugary goodness! Maybe they even managed to find honeycakes in that confectionary shop? Oh my oh! Help, Alyce-chan is having an involuntary body movement. I am moving towards the old wizard man, hands outstretched like a zombie. Candyyyyyy. I say. Bert grins and holds out the bag. Good, good, the old fart has finally accepted defeat! Whoever heard of an old man stealing candy from a little girl anyway? Although I am nearly 34 years old, but still! That is no age for an overloli! I am not a cheese. I reach for the candy bag, relief coursing through my veins as I relax and smile. Thank you, finally candy. I say, a little bit exhausted. It seems that with victory in sight, I was naive. The old man cruelly hoists the bag into the air away from me. Why are you so tall, you stupid wrinkled leather dummy! Gimme my candy, goddamn it! Alas, it is futile. I cannot reach. I''ve had enough. My expression changes from slack to serious. I haven''t stored any spells with premeditation, but I can still cast quickly and blow shit up. Alright, alright, wait a moment! Bertram says. His amused grin has disappeared and his voice became serious. Che, what a bothersome fellow. What? I ask. The tone of my voice, is of course, quite flat and cold. After all, I am currently a bit annoyed. I have no compunctions about killing a few adventurers. After all, they will probably taste nice. I''ll give it back to you on one condition. The guild master says. There is no more messing around. I can tell he is serious, and candy is at stake here so I cannot afford to goof off either.Thus, I face him seriously. What is it then? Hurry up and say it so I can eat my candy. I say, crossing my arms. The guild master has the nerve to chuckle! Come clean with me, you little monster. He says. The way he stresses the word monster, sends a chill down my spine. Everyone out, I''ll talk to them alone. The guild master says. Once everyone has left, he turns to me with a serious expression. Well, out with it. Who are you really? Chapter 32.5 – Alyce-chan In wunderland. Who am I? I say, cocking my head. Bertram looks down at me and nods seriously, letting me know he isn''t playing. I puff out my cheeks. All I wanted was to eat candy. I complain in a small voice, but the old wizard is unyielding, the candy outside my reach. I could snatch the candy forcefully with telekinesis, that would surely surprise him! However... doing so might also aggro him and I don''t really want to aggro an old man, much less an old man that''s a well known A ranked adventurer and reputed to be one of the strongest mages in the country... Yeah, let''s be careful. Of course, it''s not like the leathery candy thief is superior to me. Oh no. I am still in my growth phase, you know? Still, I am troubled about how to continue. Grom isn''t here... I wonder what''s keeping him? Maybe he is busy drinking beer, but how could he just leave me alone like this!? Aren''t we partners in crime?! Ah, I guess I can''t rely on Grom for everything. Alyce-chan has to manually level up her social interaction skills. Ugh, even though I''ve yet to put points into it, I am forced to use it... how importunate. I am many things, Bertram. I say. I am amazing, and glorious, and strong and fantastic, and goodly greatly sweet! I try one last time, even pouting and cocking my head to the side. The leathery old fiend is unyielding, his face a stern mask... my candy still out of reach. Goddamn it! Let''s try a different approach. Very well then. You want to know about me that much? Then let me enlighten you about me, the great monster. Fufufu. I walk over to the desk, climb up on it and stand proud and tall. Eye to eye with the candy thief. Why are you so tall!? Allow me to compress your spine with telekinesis! Ah, but I have to resist. No matter how much I want to forcefully take the candy, doing so would mean that Alyce-chan was the aggressor and would be condemned in the eyes of the law. Mr. Policeman, I was that guy over there. I swear I didn''t do anything! The old man attacked me first! Gyuuh. I narrow my eyes and try to affect a dark and ominous expression. I even let myself smile sinisterly, showing my fangs. This seems to have a good effect, as Bertram tightens his muscles, clearly on guard. Good good, you should be on guard since I am the great overloli. With a dark look on my face, I say. I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light. I glare at him for a few seconds, my eyes unyielding, a powerful HNNG resounding in my mind. That''s why, gimme my candy you leathery old shoe! I shout, stomping a foot on the table. There is a crack. Ah, table-chan seems to be quite fragile, tte fragile. I crash through the weak and feeble table-chan, my lower body disappearing! Help, a table mimic is eating me! Please refrain from eating the Alyce-chan in the lobby, thank you. My cheeks are strangely hot, but I am definitely not blushing. Everyone is looking at me in silence, with wide eyes. Slowly and awkwardly, I climb out of the ruined table and try to remove the splinters from my lower body. Ah Master Spliter, don''t violate my lower body, you dirty rat! Tehepero. Ahen. Where were we? I ask, turning from the confused-looking minor snacks and Tie''sha back to the old leathery candy thief. Ah yes, now I remember. You were about to hand me the candy, right? I say, trying my best to HNNG the candy from Bertram with a powerful Alyce-chan beam. His face is just blank, his eyes glazed over. You are definitely a monster. My magic tells me as much, but... you''re also many other things. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. If I come clean, will you give me my candy back? I ask, finally too fed up to play anymore games. It''s now candy or bust. I am not sure I can win against an A rank adventurer, but that hardly matters. It''s the principle of it! You cannot simply let people take your candy, you know? You gotta stand up for yourself sometimes! Slowly, Bertram nods. Okay, good. I''m an undead ghoul high-elf demon succubus amazing overloli witch, deal with it bitch! I say, resisting the urge to pose for the camera. This old candy snatcher doesn''t deserve the ahegao double peace. I''d rather die than relinquish it to him. I won''t even give him a tehepero! All he deserves is a good ass kicking for stealing my candy. Unfortunately, it''s not Alyce-chan ber alles just yet, but in due time, I will be! And then, nobody will be able to snatch my candy. In any case, I think whoever dares take candy from me, the great overloli, should be forced to repeatedly drop the soap in an American maximum security prison. The pain in the ass they will experience, will be nothing compared to my current predicament! Gah, why is it so tough for me to reclaim my.... huh? He dropped the candybag. I repeat, target alpha zero go leela chess stockfish echo blue cheese is on the ground! Commence bag attack! I throw myself at the candy loot and on all fours, I finally manage to close my hands around the bag of goodness. Of course, too drool for school has made a triumphant return, drip dripping onto the floor, but that doesn''t matter! Fufufu, I finally have it. My great treasure. Alyce-chan is elated. There is just one last obstacle in my way, so I reluctantly turn my gaze upwards. Drool still running from my mouth, I sit on my knees before the old man grasping his big staff with one hand. I am not ashamed to say that while I was keeping eye-contact with him, my hand slipped into the candy loot. You don''t seem... hostile... Bertram says, his face a little bit confused. Meanwhile, my hand is trembling as I dig into the bag and close it. I can''t help but smile as I triumphantly retrieve a handful of candy from the bag, open my mouth and stuff it full. Sugar explosion. Hard candy. Soft, gummybear like candy. Jelly-like sugar-coated candy. Some strange, sour crunchy candy. Some liquorice candy. The great sweetness violates my mouth intensely, and I can''t help but let out a satisfied moan. Pomf pomf ݳ֤ what''s that sticky stuff on me? I don''t remember much of the next few minutes. I only remember sweetness, sugary deliciousness, hard crunch and soft goo and om nom nom. My vision sort of blinked out and I just sat there slowly bringing candy from the bag to my mouth with a mechanical motion, carefully chewing the candy, sucking it and tasting it and making weird noises in my throat. There was lots of lip smacking and drool and weird HNNNG noises. Yes. When I finally came back to my senses, only Tie''sha was in the room, her face bright red as she sat near me on the floor with a Cyan serviette in her hand. It took me a second to realize this. I just stared at her, blinking lazily as I swallowed the last bit of candy left in my mouth. Sweet dreams are made of this. I say, absentmindedly smiling up at my lovely Tie''sha. Who am I to disagree? She replies, dabbing at my face with the cyan serviette as usual. I don''t really know why, but this makes me very happy and I jump at Tie''sha with a little squeal hnng, hugging her as tears stream from my eyes. My--- my lady! she calls out, but I just squeeze my arms tighter around her as I sniffle. Finally, my candy. I got it at last. Of- of course I knew that I would win in the end, but it was a hard fought battle. I say, quickly drying my tears. I definitely did not surreptitiously sniff Tie''sha''s hair and neck. Nor did I put my lips on her neck for a quick taste. I definitely did not do that, okay? Goddamn it! Anyway, it seems that my Tie''sha didn''t notice anything suspicious. She is just gently patting my back and letting me stay buried in her chest. My lady, I''m really happy you finally got your candy... Tie''sha says, but there is something awkard in her voice. Why... do I get the feeling that there is a but coming. And not a well-kept Tie''sha butt, but an old man butt. There is silence. I just listen to Tie''sha''s breathing for awhile. Ah, I could fall asleep like this. So peaceful and fuzzwarm. By the way, Fuzzwarm is definitely a legit word, alright? Even though I just made it up, if the overloli says that it''s a word, it''s a word, okay?! That''s why, I''m currently treasuring my fuzzwarm alone time with a slightly hot and damp and heavy breathing Tie''sha. However, I sense a disturbance in the maid. He... he said he would be waiting in the sparring area. Tie''sha says in a small voice. My mind goes blank for a moment, but it''s pretty easy to put two and two together. The thing I don''t get is why that old leather handbag wants to tango with me. All I wanted was to reclaim my candy. Then, like lightning from a clear sky, it strikes me. It''s that. You know? The clich. Yup. That clich where you have to duel with the guild master to prove your worth. Maybe this is even a flag to raise my favorability rating with him, thus jump-starting my advance to the higher adventurer ranks. Thing is that, at the moment, Alyce-chan has sugar-overload and wants to nap. But if I save my duel with the old man until its bedtime, then dangerous things might happen and the old man might explode all over Alyce-chan! Please spare me from the old man explosion. I guess there is nothing for it. Alyce-chan will just have to ghoul up and go deal with it now. Thus, I reluctantly detach myself from my lovely fuzzwarm maid, turn to the door and take one mighty overloli step towards the door, confidently puffing out my chest to channel my inner bravado. Then my face glows with a bit of warmth as I realize something. Uh, Tie''sha... where exactly is the sparring area? Project end. Over the past couple of weeks I''ve been contemplating where to take the story. Trouble is, the story lost steam after the big bad boner was defeated. A new enemy needed to emerge but didn''t. I initially started writing this story as a little side exercise for my writing skills. I had never done comedy before, and I just went crazy. I am surprised it got this many readers. I would be content if even one person saw my story and smiled and I think I''ve more than accomplished this goal. There is also a ridiculous amount of references in the story, which was an exercise in itself. I doubt anyone, even if they applied themselves dilligently, could find all of the crazy random references I put in. I learned a few things, such as just how important a central conflict or driving force is, at least for me personally. So that is something which I will take into consideration in my future stories. Another interesting thing about this experiment of mine was how many people got turned off the story at the Gate-kun chapter. Sure it''s a bit cringey, but for me that was just more humor, yet some people read the story very seriously and just couldn''t take the cringe in that chapter. I found that amusing. In any case, I think I''ve successfully carried out my experiment in comedy writing, and although it''s an unfortunate end to the story, I can''t really justify continuing it. Honestly it should probably have ended after the Lich died but I made a promise to come back, and I really want to try and keep the promises I make, you know?Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. What''s next for me? Well, I''m probably going to work on something offline for a few months, hopefully turn out a rattling good screed, and then post it in spring/summer time. I need to refocus myself after this crazy journey into the rabbit hole of madness and I seek to write a more serious story next time round. If you enjoyed reading this story, that makes me very happy and I just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate all of the comments you''ve left to me over these past months. They''ve often cheered me up, and even the few comments critical of my story, have taught me something about writing or human psychology, so I am overall happy that I embarked on this venture, even if the ending is lukewarm and less satisfactory than I would''ve desired. Can''t always end with a bang, I guess, though that''s how one should aim to end things, rather than just fizzling out quietly. Thus, I thought I should announce the end here and be done with it so I can refocus my mind on new projects. Thanks for reading the crazy adventures of Alyce, Grom and Tie''sha! I hope you had a good time, and maybe in a few months, a new story from this author shall appear on this website. Until then, I bid you all adieu! By the way, I just randomly read a manga called Kengai princess and liked it so much I wanted to mention it to you. Some guy I am, enjoying shoujo romance manga, lul, but I really liked it so give it a try. Anyway, it''s really adieu for now. May life gift you with many scrolls of wisdom and may your loot proc good stats forever and ever. Ta-ta.