《Lemme Smash!》


 Prologue: The Death of A Horny Man

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    <table style="background-color: #d40202; border-color: #8a7b7b" border="2" width="576">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">YOU DIED</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    The only words present on my screen brought me to the edge of my patience, as I started to bang my head on the computer desk in front of me.


    "Damnit! How?! I clearly had an advantage!"


    I get up from my chair swiftly, rough enough to flip it over. Not too long after, I swipe my hand across the desk, scattering figurines all around. Combing my hair with my fingers, I come to a realization. That very same combing turns into pulling as I exclaim,


    "Shit! I forgot my super rare Mizu figure was there!"


    I decide to take the best course of action, dropping my hands and going prone on the ground. Grabbing the figurine, my habits make me start to gently caress it.


    "Are you okay, my love? I''m sorry if I hurt you. It was an accident, I just wasn''t thinking straight. What do you mean, what do I mean? I apologize. Let''s leave it at that."


    I continue to caress the figure indefinitely, eventually coming to a halt. Just a break for a close inspection. Then, the caressing begins again. THis time, much morethoroughly.


    "Oh, I wish I accepted that offer to mod you. It''s too late for regrets now."


    My breathing starts to get more rough, and I start to caress the figurine faster. Another sudden stop makes me think of my actions.


    "Wait, what the hell am I doing? Am I really that desperate? Was Ialways this desperate?"


    It''s been like this for the past two years after my graduation. Once I got my highschool diploma, there wasn''t much else for me to do. I simply had no drive to go on, no purpose to push me forward. It used to be all about the grades, with close to no knowledge being absorbed.


    Ever since then, I''ve been living off my meager programming skills. Designing flashy but useless websites for inexperienced entrepeneurs has gotten me enough money to do what I want for now. I have nothing to do than stay in my room at my parents house, the same house my older sister lives in.


    My sister actually has a life, though. She considers everything I do to basically be a hot steaming pile of dog shit, However, at some point, I started admiring her who had a life. Soon enough, the admiration turned to lust. It only continued onward into an ever descending crescendo of despair.


    Her name is Becky. She is an absolute slut. Her boyfriend is even the well-known manwhore Ben. By well-known, I mean at least the entire city knows of him.


    That all ends today. I will never worry about this again. The day before, I met a nice woman on Blackpage. She was offering services for only 20 dollars an hour, which I have more than enough for through my website creation. Even if I only do it occasionally.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    The plan is to meet her today, in a nearby hotel downtown. There is a problem, though.


    That which keeps me here, from dawn to dusk. That which gave me comfort, only to leave me in disgust. I call it The Darkness, and it suppresses my lust.


    ''Not so much, considering what I was just doing to my Mizu figure.''


    I search around using my limited vision, finding a flashlight in some mess of wet tissues. Turning it on, I move towards the light switch to the left of my door. On my way there, there were a few stumbles, but I immediately dismissed it from my mind. All that matters is what''ll happen next. Shortly after acquiring the flashlight, I reach the switch and turn on the lights.


    ''The Darkness has been expelled, and though it may come back, that is a problem for another day.''


    Getting ready to leave the room, I take one last look over my shoulder to appreciate my place of comfort. My computer, that holds all types of tentacle porn. My manga, that has given me joy and wasted months of my time. My tissues, that have shared with me wonderful and pleasure filled experiences. My clothes, making for a perfect bed anywhere.


    I remember two things. One: This flashlight is fucking disgusting. Two: I look down, only to be greeted by my disappointing Johnny.


    I go to my closet, and take out some clothes at random. Swiftly putting them on, I move towards the door of my room once more, and exit into the hallway beyond.


    Now, the real challenges begin.


    I get down into a pseudo-sneaking position, and start crepping my way down the hallway, ever so slowly. I seem to be making slow progress, as I keep tripping over nothing, but I eventually find my footing and continue faster. It''s still only equivalent to a snails pace, though. I dodge around the hallway, hiding behind the occasional plant, until I finally reach the first of many challenges.


    The door of temptations, as I like to call it. Specifically, my sister''s door. I feel the desire run through my body. It screams at me to open the door, enter while I have a chance! ALL THE PANTSU!!!


    I resist it, just barely. I used all my willpower, and I resisted. Still, even after doing so, the temptaion still strikes me. I cannot fail here. This is only the beginning. I resolutely move onward, the temptation whispering to me sweet nothings as I glance back now and again.


    <hr>


    The sixty-ninth challenge. All other 67 challenges were rather irrelevant, so it took less than a glance to get by. This one, however, is by far the most difficult, very much deserving the title of boss fight. My parents room.


    I get up from my crouching position, and try to quickly but quietly jog past. However, with my heightened perception from the adrenaline, I noticed the door to be slightly ajar.


    ''Come to think of it, I have never entered my parents room before.''


    I was always told never to enter. That I would regret what I saw. I don''t believe them anymore. Curiosity killed the cat.


    Slowly, I move towards the door. A scream. I quicken my pace, worried at what might be happening. A sense of urgency and caution wells up inside me. A womans voice,


    "Hahahahaha! Scream for me!"


    Reaching the door, looking inside the crack, it took only a second for me to regret what I saw. In front of me, my mother was standing, her back turned to the door, wearing a sadist costume. I peek in further, only to further cultivate my regret. My dad... strapped to a wall... with a chastity belt and whip lashes all over his body. Then, right before the next strike gets to him, he yells,


    "THIS ISN''T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID LEMME SMASH!!!!!"


    I run away, silently crying. A wordless promise was made by me to my father, that this would never be spoken of. I have a feeling that I can never let my guard down around my mother ever again.


    <hr>


    Okay, this is it. The final stretch. Along the way, many problems were faced, but in the end, it doesn''t matter. I made it. I stroll down the remaining part of the hallway, knowing that at this point, I have all the time in the world. I make my way to the door at the other end, expectations rising endlessly.


    This door. It isn''t like those from the 69 challenges. This will only lead to joy. It will lead me outside. More importantly, it will lead me to taht woman from Blackpage. I once again reach for a door, this time with different reasons. Before walking out, I grab the carkeys from a stool by the door. And I walk out.


    I''ve finally made it. I make my way to the left, not bothering to walk on the sidewalk, instead using the quickest possible path. My hands, centimeters away from my goal, which is opening the drivers door to this pure white car, comes to a stop.


    "What is that...?"


    Suddenly, a sharp, shiny object seems to come through an inter-dimensional portal, piercing me straight through the heart. Actually, it had gone at such a speed the the wind pressure around it absolutely obliterated my chest. Right after, it flew straight into another portal, presumably back to from whence it came.


    Next was the pain, Oh, the pain. Why can''t it just be like on TV, instant death?


    I lie on the ground, gradually losing the last of my blood to the green lawn, looking at the pure white car, now stained a not-so-bright red. A final realization hits me in my last moments. I never got to enter Becky''s room. Or smash. There''s also... the fact that I died to a fork. Ahhhh.... this is the end. I can see the ligh-

 Chapter 1: I still dont get it!

    Am I... alive?


    Maybe I''m in a hospital. A nice, pure white bed, a sexy nurse, some roofies... A man can only dream, right? Though, if I''m in a hospital, it doesn''t explain why I can''t see anything. I also can''t hear anything. Or smell. Don''t know about taste, though, and I don''t think I want to. What do you expect me to do, roll to the ground and lick the floor? I can''t move, so I don''t think that''s possible. At least I can feel... something. A small, hammer shaped section of my body is the only thing that I''m aware of. I don''t even know its orientation. That''s a really strange feeling.


    Wait, I think someone might be picking me up.


    On a side note, I am not one to assume genders, so I will use non-gender specific pronouns, like a real gentleman.


    I think that section of my body -you know, the hammer shaped one? - might be an arm or a leg, judging from the way I''m being held. Their hand is wrapped around the stiff, shaft like area. A man can only dream.


    We soon started moving, so I''m guessing I''m being taken to a hospital. Oh, I feel the speed increasing. Are we in a c- Ow, what the fuck!? What just- F-! Again! Why am I being slammed into something!? Is this the perpetrator trying to finish the job!?


    Shit! That was the third time! How do they even know what part I can feel!?


    <table style="background-color: #003b73; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Congratulations! You Have Lost Durability For The First TIme!</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Congratulations! As you have lost durability for the first time, you are one step closer to death as a Virgin an inanimate object!


    Your current Durability is:


    20.994/21


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ...


    Why is the number so precise!? Also, why is it crongatulating me for being closer to death!? Why does it say I''m an inanimate object!? Why is there a crossed out ''Virgin'' there!? So many questions, with no answers to be found... What a life this one is.


    However, I do seem to be pretty sturdy... That''s nice to know. Now, if this person could just STOP. FUCKING. SLAMMING. ME. INTO. SOMETHING. Everything would be fine. At least there''s a boon to this. I know I can feel pain now. Hooray for pain! Would it be fine to say ''My pain is far greater than yours!'' or something. Probably not.


    <hr>


    Hmm... I wonder what I should do now. The slamming stopped quite a while ago, and I don''t know when it''ll start up again. My only enjoyment in this world of darkness, so fleeting and volatile. I need more pain. Actually, I don''t. Please don''t give me more pain.


    I''m pretty hungry. Too bad I can''t move. Or see, since I would probably be eating dog shit.


    I just remembered... I never got to enter Becky''s room. Damn. Don''t know how dog shit reminded me of Becky, but sill. Damn.


    Well, I can still role play, as the best of us do. Ok. First, the setting, which... I am too lazy to come up with. Let''s improvise.


    Nurse! Status report!


    ''He seems to have crippling depre-


    <table style="border-color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="6">Status</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Name: N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Race: Living Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Gender: Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Level: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Experience: 80%</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Titles</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="5">Virgin</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Pools</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">Stats</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Durability: 15/21</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Stamina: Undefined</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">STR: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">VIT: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">AGI: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">DEX: 0</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Sharpness: 0/0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Mana: Locked</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">INT: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">WIS: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">PER: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">CHR: 0.01</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Status Ailments</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">Stat Points: 0</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table style="border-color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Skills</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Proficiency</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Traits</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Class</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Locked</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">0%</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Hammer: Greater Impact Damage. High Chance for Stun.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Hammer (Main)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Copper Body: Part of Your Bodies Composition is Copper. Nullifies Effects of Electrical Attacks.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Tool (Sub)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Wooden Body: Part of Your Bodies Composition Is Wood. Fire Does Greater Damage To You.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Inanimate Object: 2x Multiplier for Stat and Skill point Gain On Level Up. Item Description When Appraised.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Skill Points: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Skill Selection</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    -ssion!''Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    ''I know just the cu-''


    Wait... Something''s not quite right here. The hell is that? I''m pretty sure I''m not a hammer, though it would explain that earlier ''inanimate object'' thing. What is with these floating screens anyways!? And why does it say I''m a virgin!?


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Title: Virgin</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    You are a Virgin.


    Your Status screen will appear white to you and all others as a symbol of your ''purity.''


    All message will have sex jokes, mostly about your everlasting Virginity!


    Note: This title is only granted to specific types of Virgins.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Well, that''s pretty self-explanatory, isn''t it...? But, why does it need to have sex jokes in the messages!? What''s the point!? Wait, I''m a flipping hammer!!! That title doesn''t even make any sense! Even my gender is Hammer!


    And why are skills locked!? Why is this screen here in the first place!?! Shouldn''t I be dead from blood loss by now!?! That would even be a better explanation for lack of senses!! Blood loss!!


    WHY THE FUCK AM I A HAMMER!?!?


    <hr>


    Quite a bit of time has passed again, though this time it was after my amazing revelation. It seems that the criminal came back once more. They picked me up to start the greusome proccess of slamming me into something, probably nails, for the second time.


    I might as well start counting, since I have nothing better to do. And, start! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11...


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    67, 68, 69...


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    238, 239, 240...


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    367, 368, 369...


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    664, 665, 666...


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    749, 750, 7-...


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Congratulations! You Have Leveled Up!</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Congratulations! You have leveled up for the first time, becoming slightly less useless!


    Maybe one day, you will be able to smash something yourself!


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Oh! I leveled up! That wording puts a damper on my excitement, though.


    <table style="background-color: #ff0000">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Warning! You Are At Half Durability!</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Your current Durability is:


    13.5/21


    If you don''t increase your Durability, you will die. Make sure you stay "hard and sturdy."


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table style="border-color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="6">Status</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Name: N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Race: Living Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Gender: Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Level: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Experience: 0%</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Titles</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="5">Virgin</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Pools</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">Stats</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Durability: 13.5/21</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Stamina: Undefined</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">STR: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">VIT: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">AGI: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">DEX: 0</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Sharpness:1/0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Mana: 20/20</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">INT: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">WIS: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">PER: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">CHR: 0.01</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Status Ailments</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">Stat Points: 20</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table style="border-color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Skills</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Proficiency</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Tier</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Traits</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Class</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Smash</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">0%</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Hammer: Greater Impact Damage. High Chance for Stun.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Hammer (Main)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Copper Body: Part of Your Bodies Composition is Copper. Nullifies Effects of Electrical Attacks.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Tool (Sub)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"> Magic</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"> Proficiency</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Tier</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Wooden Body: Part of Your Bodies Composition Is Wood. Fire Does Greater Damage To You.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Mana Sense </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">0% </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Inanimate Object: 2x Multiplier for Stat and Skill point Gain On Level Up. Item Description When Appraised.</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3">Skill Points: 10</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Skill Selection</td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Congratulations! You Have Unlocked Mana and Skills!</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>


    As you have reached level 1, as well as have enough intelligence to open the status screen, even if on accident, you have unlocked Mana, Skills, and Skill tiers!


    As a complementary gift, you have been given two tier 1 skills.


    For mana: Mana Sense


    Reason: desire to use standard human senses


    For skills: Smash


    Reason: Previous actions, as well as inability to "smash."


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    What? Mana and Skills were unlocked! Yes! Why!?! What the hell is even happening!?!?


    I still don''t get it!

 Chapter 2: What the hell?

    ...I guess it doesn''t matter that I don''t understand. Time won''t stop for me. It''s already been two weeks, based on Person Slamming Me Into Something, or PSMIS, Calender. I''ve been repaired a few times and upgraded, too. This person must be pretty sentimental with their hammer...How could I tell? Notifications. And the pain of being smashed with another hammer. I''m now at a sharpness of... sorry, a Durability of:


    <table style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #004b7a; background-image: none; background-repeat: repeat; border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 2px 2px; border-width: 0px; border-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8); border-style: none; margin: 10px 54.9px 10px 54.9px">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); background-image: none; background-repeat: repeat; color: #cccccc; text-align: center; border-width: 1px; border-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); border-style: solid; padding: 5px; margin: 0px">Current Durability</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); background-image: none; background-repeat: repeat; color: #cccccc; text-align: center; border-width: 1px; border-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); border-style: solid; padding: 5px; margin: 0px">


    Your current Durability is:


    28/34


    Good job on staying "hard and sturdy".


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    My trait also changed from Copper Body to Iron body. I can now get rusted more easily. Yay.


    Then, I leveled up. Twice. This is how my status looks now.


    <table style="border-color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="6"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Status</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Name: N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">Race: Living Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Gender: Hammer</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Level: 3</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Experience: 45%</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Titles</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="5">Virgin</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Pools</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Stats</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Durability: 28/34</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Stamina: Undefined</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">STR: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">VIT: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">AGI: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">DEX: 0</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Sharpness:1/0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">Mana: 20/20</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">INT: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">WIS: 1</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">PER: 0</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">CHR: 0.01</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Status Ailments</td>


    <td style="text-align: center">N/A</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Stat Points: 60</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #ffffff; background-image: none; background-repeat: repeat; border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 2px 2px; color: #ffffff; font-family: &quot; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 10px 37.28px 10px 37.27px; border: 0px none #000000">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Skills</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Proficiency</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Tier</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Traits</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Class</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Smash</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">99.99%</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">1</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Hammer: Greater Impact Damage. High Chance for Stun.</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Hammer (Main)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Iron body: At least a part of you is made of iron. Nullifies effects of electric attacks. You are more susceptible to oxidization.</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Tool (Sub)</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Magic</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Proficiency</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Tier</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Wooden Body: Part of Your Bodies Composition Is Wood. Fire Does Greater Damage To You.</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Mana Sense</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">0%</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">1</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc">Inanimate Object: 2x Multiplier for Stat and Skill point Gain On Level Up. Item Description When Appraised.</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc" colspan="3"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Skill Points: 30</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"><strong style="font-weight: bold">Skill Selection</td>


    <td style="background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); margin: 0px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.25); text-align: center; color: #cccccc"></td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.I just have to accept thatI am a hammer. With the gender Hammer.


    I''ve been wondering about that, though. Gender: Hammer. Is that because of the 21st century? We did have a lot of "toasters".


    ...Whatever.


    I guess I should try activating "Mana Sense" now. I wonder what it will be like?


    I prepared myself for the chanting of the... Ummm... Spell? What exactlyis"Mana Sense" classified as?


    Wait, it was a magic skill. That''s it. Slowly opening my non-existent mouth, I muster up the words for the chant from my memory.


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    I have no idea how to activate this shit!!!


    Why was I given a skill I don''t know how to use!?!?


    *Sigh*


    Maybe "Smash" would be easier. Yeah, i''ll try that! Usually in the stories it''s just a chant for physical skills, so i''ll try that!


    ''Smash!''


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Requirements Not Met.</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    You do not meet the requirements to "Smash".


    Requirements:


    Weild or Be a Weapon: Met


    Ability to Move Ones Own Vessel: Not Met


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?


    I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING!! THIS SHIT IS REALLY FUCKING BORING!! TWO WEEKS!! TWO WEEKS OF NOTHING BUT DARKNESS AND PAIN!!! I''VE TRIED USING BOTH THESE SKILLS FOR TWO WEEKS, WITH NO FUCKING PROGRESS!!!


    ...Does this mean, it''s all just a figment of my imagination? A way to cope with all my current problems in life?


    ...


    Something I wake up from that haunts me with every passing day?


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    ...


    Nah, it couldn''t be! I know for sure that i''m not crazy! Am I? Yeah, i''m perfectly sane! If I wasn''t, I probably would''ve recieved a notification by now.


    ...Right?


    Maybe I should try a differrent way of activating the Mana Sense skill. It can''t be imossible, since I have mana.


    Come to think of it, I never tried checkingthe description of things like what happened with... The Virgin title.


    Guess i''ll try it now.


    Uh... Open...Describe... View?


    View Mana Sense?


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">Mana Sense</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    A skill used to achieve the usage of the five standard human senses with the use of mana. This skill, when at a high enough proficiency, can be used for more than just sensing.


    Cost: 2 mana / second


    Requirements: Have sentience and Mana.


    Usage:


    1st time usage: Infuse mana into body evenly, and spread mana outside of body in maximum possible radius, while chanting "Mana Sense" to allow for completion of spell formula.


    Automatic usage after first Invocation by chanting "Mana Sense"


    Effects:


    Locked until "First Time".


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    That''s nice to know. So, how do I use Mana?


    Maybe, it''s like some sort of Ki, or Ether. Maybe even the Mana found in common fantasy novels.


    First, i''ll try Ki. So, this has a lot to do with things like meridi... Well, that option was eliminated.


    What about Ether? Ether is usually only found in the atmosphere, so... since I have my own Mana Pool, that can''t be it.


    I won''t try the last option yet, since that''s too generic.


    Let''s see... some people just have some sort of psychic... eliminated. Once again, Mana.


    I... give up. I have pretty bad memory. Might as well try generic Mana usage. Search inside myself, blah, blah, blah. Some weird thing near the heart, or in the kidney, or in the pit of your stomach, or the core of your being.


    Nothing. I found nothing! Not even the generic Mana usage works!!


    How do I use Mana!?


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">System Manual #3857. Regarding Mana Usage of Inanimate Objects.</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">As an inanimate object with sentience, Mana is infused throughout your vessel. To use this Mana, simply ''will'' it to move somewhere. As a living being, this process would be impossible as it would overload their brains causing them to die. As an inanimate object, however, this can be done as you do not even have enough of a brain to know what it is to "blow your load".</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Hey!


    I know what it means to "blow your load"! Don''t look down on me!


    *Sigh*


    At least I know how to use Mana now. Well, by my power, I half heartedly will you to move outside of my bod... vessel in the maximum possible radius, Mana. Now, for the last part since mana is already "infused throughout my vessel".


    ''Mana Sense.''


    Now, time for the moment of truth.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="2">System.exe is downloading Spell Formula for Magic Sense.</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>1%</td>


    <td>|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    What the hell?

 Chapter 3: A Chance

    The rattling of a chair hitting the floor resonated in the small, dark room around me. The reflection of my face contorted in frustration was reflected back at me from the dimly lit computer screen. I took a moment to give myself a murderous glare, infinitely reflected between the glossy screen and the deep, unending void within my pupils. There was a permeating silence, up until the point when the air conditioner started back up, ending its short rest. The low humming noise broke my focus on the screen and my mouth slowly dropped into a frown as I ran my hands through the curly, dark brown mess that I call my hair, eventually leaving them to rest on top of my head.


    ¡°Why can¡¯t I come up with any ideas¡­¡±


    My head dropped, prompting me to sigh in an effort to relieve some of the depression I accumulated from my hopeless endeavor.


    ¡°Some people just make it look so easy, and yet¡­ I can¡¯t even write a chapter that¡¯s more than a thousand words without being on high alert for Yaoi¡­¡±


    I made a vow to finish this story, but at this point, I¡¯m not too sure if I can follow through. All that¡¯s left is for me to continue writing and hope for the best. Even with the character being as easy to write as it is, I¡¯m still having difficulty with all the plot holes I¡¯m leaving in the wake of my typing.


    ¡°Besides, what guarantees that it won¡¯t end up like the other stories?¡±


    It almost felt like I had lost something important while writing those, which was the main reason that I had stopped. Otherwise, I would have continued with them and tried as hard as I did with this one. Honestly, I¡¯ve been surprised over and over by my tenacity with this thing.


    Well, I am the one that started this when I typed those first few words on my phone two years ago, and I won¡¯t be the one to end it. No matter how horribly homosexual this story becomes, it will continue. It will continue through all the homosexuality it brings. (Not to say I¡¯m against that type of thing, it just kind of puts me off how I unconsciously insert it. Haha, insert.)


    At least I know that I¡¯m on the right track. There hasn¡¯t been nearly as many chapters made, and there are much longer delays; however, despite all that, it still somehow has more followers and a rating already. The changes are going well, but I hope they won¡¯t be lost due to that upcoming interlude¡­ I mean, they could always just skip it when it gets to the strange parts, right...?


    Wait, there¡¯s no point in thinking that, this story is strange as it is. If someone is following it, then there¡¯s no way they¡¯ll disappear from something so simple. Worse has been written and read here, so there¡¯s no worries.


    ¡°It¡¯ll all be fine if I continue writing, then.¡±


    Just as I said that and sat down, the power went out, and the little light that was present from the computer was snuffed out.


    ¡°F-...udging hell! Now the hurricane takes down the power lines!?¡±


    I stood back up violently, flipping over both my desk and my chair. The sound of multiple objects hitting the ground and the breaking of glass disturbed the peace once again.


    Trying to process what just happened, I stared blankly at the black expanse before me.


    ¡®Was that¡­ my computer...?¡¯


    Deciding not to think about it any further lest I confirm my fears, I prepared myself to go to sleep.


    I laid in my bed, fearing what I may see tomorrow while I gradually descended into a deep sleep.


    <hr>


    I woke up to a disturbing sound. An extremely guttural roar invaded my ears, preventing me any further sleep. Taking a look at the digital clock on my bedside table, I saw a ¡®6:32 A.M.¡¯ displayed.


    ¡®What¡¯s going on this early in the morning? Is that the hurricane?¡¯


    Getting up from a rather awkward sleeping position, I moved over to a window cautiously.


    ¡°Oh. Maybe it is the hurricane.¡±


    Through the stained glass, I could see various objects flying around in the wind, though most were lightweight. The objects mostly consisted of plastic bags, grass, and the occasional candy wrapper. Deciding to check up on the situation, I left my room and exited from the front door of my apartment onto the streets below. The sound that I heard obviously couldn¡¯t have been made by plastic bags and grass, so it¡¯s better to be safe than sorry. Besides, I needed some sunlight anyways, though I don¡¯t know how I would get that with how cloudy and obviously lacking of sunlight the sky was. It almost looked like it was midnight.


    On the way down from the concrete stairs right outside my front door, I could see the silhouette of a man with a build on the larger side. Who could that be, other than my good gopnik friend Ivan?


    Ivan is my neighbour that moved in at around the same time as me. He is a rather large russian man, more muscle than fat. Somehow, he looked slightly larger than usual, though that could have been the wind messing with my vision.


    ¡°Hey, Ivan!¡±


    I yelled as I started to walk over to him. Seeing no reaction, I assumed that the wind was preventing my voice from reaching him. Just to make sure, I yelled a little louder this time.


    ¡°Hey, Ivan!!¡±


    He still didn¡¯t turn towards me, but I heard a voice with a thick accent coming from behind me. Hurriedly turning around, I saw a pair of unmistakable pecs.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Wah! How did you get over here so fast?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? I was in my living room when I heard you calling.¡±


    Man, this guy sounds just like your average Russian stereotype. Wait¡­ If this is Ivan, who¡¯s that guy over there?


    ¡°That means¡­ I think we should get back inside, Ivan, unless you know that guy over there.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    Ivan let out a sound of contemplation as he looked over in the direction I was pointing. I looked over too, only to see that the figure was closer. Much closer


    ¡°Uhh, he¡¯s a bit closer than last time¡­ We should really get going.¡±


    My Russian friend nodded his head as he turned around to walk back to his apartment. Right when he did, the figure disappeared, a burst of air that disturbed even the heavy winds surrounding us now following close behind; I looked around frantically, yet it was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, another sound reached me from behind. This time, however, it wasn¡¯t the heavy accent I got so used to hearing. It was the sound of wet meat being slapped.


    I turned around to see the glossy black armor you¡¯d expect a villain in some fantasy novel to wear. I continued to look upwards, until I saw an empty space where the head should be, and something even further above that.


    ¡°Why the hell does this thing have a name tag?¡±


    Over its head, there was a name tag that you would expect to see in an RPG, with a level adjacent to the name, and a health bar right below it. It showed the words ¡®Dullahan, Level 108.¡¯


    ¡°Oh hell, I¡¯m in some deep shit now¡­¡±


    I started to make another 180, when I remember what happened when Ivan did the very same thing. What happened to Ivan himself? He was the source of that wet slapping sound. No, he wasn¡¯t masturbating. He was a freaking corpse being slammed back and forth. Actually, he was more like a lump of bloody meat and broken bones now that I looked at him¡­


    I took a moment to release the contents of my stomach into a small puddle before I genuinely started my escape. Wiping my mouth, I adopted the safest strategy going by the available information. That is, slowly walking away backwards, keeping my eyes glued to its back.


    Sadly, it didn¡¯t work as I had hoped. Instead of the expected result where the Dullahan continued flinging around poor Ivan, it turned, holding up its head in a tight grip to stare at me. The gruesome, ever present smile on its face gave me the chills as it disappeared again. It reappeared right in front of me, with a fist buried deep in my solar plexus.


    In the very next moment, I found myself flying high in the air. In a moment of tranquil detachment, I looked around at the apex of my parabola. I felt weightless, yet my body felt hypersensitive to the sensations around it. In the moment of calm, I realized that I¡¯m already at least a kilometer away from the coast, over the ocean, and still moving. Then the pain comes back to me, the ruptured organs and broken bones. The pain was overwhelming enough that I didn¡¯t understand why I was still alive.


    ¡°AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!¡±


    I move past the apex, and start to fall, the wind drowning out any further screams. My hair that was usually either pushed to either side, covering the respective eye, is moving fluttering about randomly, rapidly, in resistance to the wind. I stared at the sky as I finally realize, just like the very character that I had written; I¡¯m about to- no, going to die.


    Another wave of pain hit me as the surface tension from the water further breaks my pitifully beat-up body. Reflexively, I take in a breath as I prepared for my descent into the water. My brains efforts got me a lungful of water, that forced me to once again open my mouth for ro cough out the water, resulting in a shortening of what little remaining time I had.


    My velocity took me deep into the water. Deeper, deeper, deeper still. Until the water eventually slowed my descent to a snail''s pace. What little light I had left from the already dark day shows me a large, orange eye, covered in a thin film. The pupil alone is as large as my head. I panic as I realized that the method in which I die will go from bad to worse. The effort of moving my body, however, was futile, as it was already too broken to function properly. All that occurred was a more intense pain and a faster death. My consciousness loses grip as quickly as it came back to me when I woke up on this fateful day, pulling me into a permanent sleep.


    Before I died, I heard a voice. So short, so silent in the depths of the ocean, that I may not have heard it were it not for my hypersensitive state and close proximity.


    ¡°How pitiful, for someone to die this early into the integration¡­¡±


    The last of my processing capabilities put me in a state of confusion, unable to understand what the deep, gravelly voice meant. It continued, though my capability to hear it was reduced even further.


    ¡°I su-...ose¡­ fine fo-... to give h-... an-... chance.¡±


    ...Chance¡­?


    ¡­


    ....


    ....


    ...A Chance¡­?


    ¡­


    ¡­


    ¡­


    ...What does it mean¡­ by a chance¡­?


    ...


    ¡­.


    ¡­..


    ¡­...


    ¡­¡­.


    ¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­...


    ¡­¡­¡­.


    ¡­¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­.


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td colspan="2">


    Congratulations!


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td colspan="2">


    The Lord of the Sea has offered to give you another chance at life.


    Would you like to accept?


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Yes


    </td>


    <td>


    No


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­....


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    Might as well...


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Congratulations!


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>


    You have successfully obtained the comatose body of Ralf Faelan!


    You now have access to all features of the system: not all are available without discovery. Additional features may be added or created if conditions are met.


    You now have access to your status screen: this may be henceforth used in any area, regardless of system restrictions.


    You now have the ability to access all features of the nexus: additional features may be added as you progress, or due to special conditions being met.


    Effective movement may not be possible due to disfigurement of your body: this may be restored through a variety of available methods. (These methods cannot be found with assistance from the system.)


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>

 Chapter 4: Unwilling Initiate

    Waking up has always been an awful experience. This time, it just happened to be worse than the others. Opening my eyes was a struggle, and when I managed to pry them open, a blinding light pierced through the veil of darkness, causing me to shut my eyelids as fast as humanly possible. The pain was expected, but the light was absolutely not. I opened my eyes once again, and the light was just a bit more bearable.


    I looked around in an attempt to look at anything other than the blindingly bright light; or at least tried to for a few moments, before I noticed I couldn¡¯t move. At all. Even my tail, which I usually struggled to keep under control, was completely motionless. I couldn¡¯t feel anything. Why can¡¯t I feel anything? What¡¯s happening? Why am I here? What¡¯s going on? I don¡¯t understand. Who did this? Why can¡¯t I move? Why can¡¯t I see? Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? I got all the iron I needed yesterday. I don¡¯t understand. I- !


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t be here, was it?¡±


    Huh? Who is that? It sounded like a man... No... No! It can¡¯t be one of those! Please, no! I heard what it was like from the other slaves¡­ The men do horrible things to you¡­ Especially to boys like me¡­!


    ¡°Don¡¯t be like that, I won¡¯t do anything to you. I don¡¯t like pretty boys, or rather, boys in general. I¡¯m sure you won¡¯t have any trouble finding one like that, though. You are in hell, after all!¡±


    Ah¡­ Hell...?


    ¡°Oh, well, this technically isn¡¯t hell, but it¡¯s close enough. You know, with hell being after really dying and all. Lucky for you, you¡¯re in something not dissimilar to a realm for lost souls, so you still have a chance!¡±


    I¡­ I still don¡¯t understand¡­ what does that have to do with me?


    ¡°Oh, yes, I forgot. You don¡¯t remember dying. Of course you wouldn¡¯t. Most do, but there¡¯s always those special ones who are¡­ assisted in forgetting, due to how bad it was. I do believe that waking up from a coma suddenly, being almost starved to death and missing your legs, then suddenly having your soul ripped out of your body would most definitely do that to you. It certainly would. Especially the soul-ripping part. Souls are attached to every part of your mortal body, so it sets off all of your nerves at once when they¡¯re pulled out. It¡¯s pretty cruel, to be honest. I quite hate visits to your world, especially because of that little quirk the authorities made. But that doesn¡¯t matter right now.¡±


    I heard the man take a deep breath, and he continued speaking.


    ¡°Forgive me for rambling, this is the first time I¡¯ve taken a new arrival in quite a while. I¡¯m usually out doing something boring in the material planes. For now, let¡¯s get you up and moving.¡±


    Footsteps were slowly approaching, in sync with the fading of the bright light, each muffled contact of shoe-sole against floor toning it down a grade. As it was reduced down to a small point, left suspended in the air, a man was revealed. He was walking down a long carpeted hallway, lined with pure white pillars, directly toward me. His hands were held out before him, almost as though beckoning me to come towards him just as he was to me. Thankfully, that didn¡¯t truly seem to be the case, as the light that wasn¡¯t anything more than a pinprick at this point floated over to him. It accelerated rapidly, until it got the the man and abruptly disappeared. Promptly clasping his hands behind his back, he spoke a few unintelligible words. And feeling returned to my body soon after he started.


    I fell to the floor and spasmed for a bit, the influx of response from my nerves making me lose control of my body. Frothing at the mouth, I sat up carefully, trying not to cause another spasm. Though I horribly failed. Multiple times.


    Once I had finally become accustomed to feeling again, I was able to not only sit up but stand just fine. A dark hand reached out and grabbed my own, forming them both into a firm handshake.


    ¡°My name is Daehelb, we¡¯ll be working together for a while while I introduce you to your new work setting. For now, I¡¯ll show you exactly why you¡¯re here.¡±


    The black man waved his hand and a familiar form of notification popped up in front of me. At least that hasn¡¯t changed¡­


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td>


    Congratulations!


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>


    You have successfully obtained the comatose body of Ralf Faelan!


    You now have access to all features of the system: not all are available without discovery. Additional features may be added or created if conditions are met.


    You now have access to your status screen: this may be henceforth used in any area, regardless of system restrictions.


    You now have the ability to access all features of the nexus: additional features may be added as you progress, or due to special conditions being met.


    Effective movement may not be possible due to disfigurement of your body: this may be restored through a variety of available methods. (These methods cannot be found with assistance from the system.)


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    This is¡­


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that my name?¡±


    Was this notification meant for me? No, that¡¯s not right. If it were, I would¡¯ve gotten it when I woke up. That only means it could be for someone else. A body snatcher¡­ Then it makes sense why I¡¯m not really dead, now. I didn¡¯t die. I just lost my body to a freaking snatcher.


    ¡°No, that isn¡¯t quite right, Ralf.¡±


    Daehelb turned around and started walking with small strides in the same direction from which he came. This time, he was actually beckoning me, rather than some strange floating light.


    ¡°One of the authorities set this up, though I¡¯m not quite sure who that is. It isn¡¯t a body snatcher, otherwise they wouldn¡¯t have only gotten access to the system after taking your body. That means this person had to be from a world where our system does not rea-¡±


    ¡°Wait, are you saying that monsters have access to the system as well?¡±


    My eyes went wide as I considered the possibility. It would finally answer the long debate on whether or not monsters had access, reaching even as far as me, who was a slave. The implications would be¡­


    ¡°Yes, but that is besides the point. The person who took your body was not from our world, or even one that had access to our system yet. One of the authorities went out of their way to arrange this, and decided you as a vegetable would be the best option. No one would notice if a slave were to change, and you were barely even alive at that point anyways. You were the most convenient option. If anyone even noticed your change, they could chalk it up to a near death experience.¡±If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    Daehelb took a quick breath and kept speaking.


    ¡°You do seem unusually smart for a slave, however, so you¡¯ll fit my purposes perfectly as well. This initiation might even be fun, and I haven¡¯t had one that was fun for a long, long time.¡±


    <hr>


    I followed Daehelb down the hall for a good half an hour, walking side-by-side, and nothing happened for the entire time. We hadn¡¯t spoken to each other since he said something about an initiation¡­ For the time being, I should check my status. Who knows what could¡¯ve changed after being body snatched.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td colspan="6">


    Status


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Name: Ralf Faelan


    </td>


    <td colspan="2">


    Race: Wer (Catte)


    </td>


    <td>


    Gender: Male


    </td>


    <td>


    Level: N/A


    </td>


    <td>


    Experience: N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Class


    </td>


    <td colspan="5">


    N/A


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Titles


    </td>


    <td colspan="5">


    Lost Soul, Somatically Snatched


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td colspan="2">


    Pools


    </td>


    <td colspan="4">


    Stats


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Health: Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    Stamina: Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    STR: Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    VIT: Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    AGI: Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    DEX: Undefined


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    Undefined


    </td>


    <td>


    Mana: 11,920/11,920


    </td>


    <td>


    INT: 596


    </td>


    <td>


    WIS: 238


    </td>


    <td>


    PER: 67


    </td>


    <td>


    CHR: 100


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Status Ailments


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    N/A


    </td>


    <td colspan="4">


    Stat Points: 0


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Skills


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Proficiency


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Tier


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Traits


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Magic


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Proficiency


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Tier


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    <td style="text-align: center"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3">


    Skill Points: 0


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Skill Selection


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Looking through the screen for a few moments, a few notable differences from the past were obvious to me.


    I¡¯m missing all of my physical stats and my level, but¡­ That shouldn¡¯t be too much of a concern. It¡¯s probably because I lost my body, simple as that.


    Honestly, it probably was something worth worrying about. A lot. Mainly because of what it meant for me. Classes are dependent on who you are and what you¡¯ve done, whether that be from a past life or your social status. They even evolve with you, to fit your needs as you progress through the trials of the system. It¡¯s impossible not to have one by the time you begin to exist, though I guess that¡¯s not as true as I thought, considering my current situation¡­


    Well, it doesn¡¯t matter. I¡¯m more curious about where we¡¯ve been walking to for the past half hour. No harm in asking.


    ¡°Daehelb.¡±


    My question elicited a short hum, and the dark man twisted his neck to the side, looking at me in askance.


    ¡°Where have we been walking to? It¡¯s been a long time, but I haven¡¯t seen any end to this hallway¡­ I¡¯d like to know, what exactly are we doing walking for so long, wasting so much time?¡±


    ¡°You finally noticed?¡±


    My eyes locked with Daehelb¡¯s in confusion. Was this supposed to be some sort of test? If it is, this is really stupid. What sort of test has you walking down a barren hallway for over half an hour?


    ¡°Noticed what? The fact that this hallway is abnormally long?¡±


    ¡°Oh. You really didn¡¯t get it? I thought that you would by this point. Could it be that you never invested in your perception?¡±


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t ever a need for much over 50, so it would¡¯ve been a waste¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah, force of circumstance. Many get trapped in their narrow world views, even if they find themselves to be more intelligent than the rest. Usually they find themselves thinking that it would be better to invest only in the short term, relying on their own sound judgement. It is a shame that they rely on the assumption that their lives will never experience a drastic change as you have. I¡¯ll give you a tiny hint. Just look around.¡±


    Doing as he said, I looked around. I couldn¡¯t believe just how stupid I was¡­


    ¡°I¡¯m guessing that those were following us around for a while, then¡­¡±


    There was a batch of doors at every side of us, even directly ahead. A gold trim ran along the edges of the rich brown doors. Silver door knobs with the same gold trim hung on the right side, just within reach for me. They seemed to shift the space around them to follow our walking pace. Each door had a label above them. One of which was labeled, ¡°Initiate Test.¡± Is that where we¡¯re supposed to be going? Why is it still moving away, though¡­


    ¡°So you can finally see them? At least it didn¡¯t take any more than that to make you aware of them. Most have to take a few more hints before they get it¡­ Some don¡¯t even get it unless you tell them bluntly that there are doors using spatial distortions to follow us around.¡±


    I don¡¯t care about that right now. I just want that door to stop moving so that I can see what¡¯s through there¡­


    And suddenly, they stopped. All the doors that were kept equidistant from the center point - the two of us, Daehelb and I - were now firmly stuck in place around us. We continued walking, the hallway around us becoming a small room as I watched it fold in on itself.


    ¡°At least you got the easy one quick. Too bad that was all we had, but the hallway is still under development by the administration.¡±


    Unbeknownst to me, he had already turned his head back to our destination, staring straight at the Initiate Test door. And he kept staring. Not even blinking. I began walking forward, seeing as he didn¡¯t have anything to say to me. My feet carried me to the Initiate door, and my hand followed its path to the knob. Opening the door, Daehelb exploded in a shower of gore, and I was stuck staring just as he did. Good thing I was used to this type of thing after being a slave for so long¡­ That was weird¡­ Wai-


    ¡°Ah, fuck, some of it got in my eye! It¡¯s in my eye!¡±


    I hurried through the door, hoping that there would be something to wash the gore out of my eye. Unfortunately, I happened to bump into someone and fall to the floor after comically spinning around a few times.


    ¡°Need help with that?¡±


    Isn¡¯t that Daehelb!? Didn¡¯t he just explode?!


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t mind the explosion, I used to do that to scare initiates a bit before they began. Let¡¯s just get, uh.. Let¡¯s get my insides out of your eye, shall we? You should be getting a notification pretty soon.¡±


    The feeling of Daehelb¡¯s intestines in my eye was suddenly gone, and another notification popped up in front of me. One that was for me.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td>


    Welcome, Initiate, to Your Trial Assignment!


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr style="text-align: center">


    <td>


    You have now entered the assignment world, in which it will be determined whether or not you will be capable for this career path that has been pushed upon you.


    Despite being a trial, this assignment is equivalent in level to beginner assignments, and will have lasting consequences on the world.


    Due to being a trial, you will be provided more assistance than what is usually given to complete your task.


    If you successfully complete your task, you may receive rewards equivalent to task level and obtain an increase in percentage to receive higher quality class options from the directory for each assignment world.


    After you complete your assignment, your status will be cleared of all physical stats, pools, level, as well as your borrowed class.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    I was so caught up in the flow I didn¡¯t notice I was forced into being an initiate for a shady looking job?!