《Zion》 Prologue Heaven...A paradise in the clouds. A place where one is in a state of transcendence. Where no negative emotions flow, no envy, no greed, no lust. Emotions I simply can¡¯t feel, no matter how hard I try. I should be happy in this place, where all of my worries have disappeared, where all of my anger has vanished. Yet why do I feel amiss? From an early age I was taught that if I was a good man, I would make it in the afterlife, where God will welcome me with open arms. Yet...I do not feel that I was worthy of making it up here. Many times in my life I have sinned, many women I have left full of sorrow without a single drop of remorse, many men I have betrayed without a single guilty thought. And still, I have been forgiven.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Part of me hopes that what I am seeing and experiencing right now is not real. That this is another one of my wicked dreams that are caused by the drugs. I do not want to live again, I do not. I want to succumb myself in a night of eternal sleep. Where my body will rest until the end of the days, where I cannot dream or feel. Where I should be, for this world is too morbid and sickening. As much as I prayed and begged, he would not heed. As I am the chosen one. The one that he chose. And none may go against his word, as he is the creator of all life and death, the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; a supreme being that we humans call God. And now, I am to serve him. Even after death, my life is still not over, as now I have been presented with an ultimatum. The one that I cannot refuse. Chapter 1 - A new beginning Death takes us all. In the end, no matter how hard we try, death will come knocking onto our doors. Most people are not prepared for it, and will never be. And that¡¯s normal, nobody wants to die. After all, it is in our DNA to fear and avoid death. If you are lucky enough you will not regret a single decision you have made, you will feel fulfilled that you have spent your life doing the right things and doing what you desired. But no doubt, the worst thing to experience before the end is the lack of accomplishments, when you feel that you are worthless and have done nothing good in your life. In fact, people often begin looking back at their life at around their middle age. While we know that everyone is different, we still look back and compare what we have achieved to others. We compare our life to a more successful one and often agonize ourselves over how better we could have been. That actually happens to us throughout our lives. We always compare each other, what did she or he do better. And in most cases, we laugh at those who do worse than us, we boost our own confidence and humiliate those who lack it. And, to be honest. I am not pure myself, though quietly, I laughed behind backs of those who have failed. But I have also learned from their mistakes. Of course, that is a poor excuse. But one that kept me from feeling bad about myself for the past 30 years. The main reason why it does not affect us so much in the early stages of our lives is because we know we have time. When we are young, we always tell ourselves ¡°I still have time¡± or ¡°I will be better in the future¡± yet unfortunately a lot of us do not achieve what we want, and the days just get faster and faster without us even realizing. In the early years of my life, I have realized that I need to leave something behind in this life. I did not want to die without leaving my mark on the world, I wanted to do something that will make people remember me for years after my death. So in my teen years, I decided to form a band. A music band to be exact. Just me and a couple of my friends practising in a garage, experimenting with sounds and creating music based on our favourite genres. Music also allowed me to escape from my day to day life, where I would often find myself depressed and suicidal. As the years have passed, I found success in music. I would often sing about dealing with religion, war, race and misogyny. I would sing about subjects that people were scared to talk about, subjects that were always on my mind, and through music, I would express my opinion and anger. Although I have found success in music, my depression did not die down. I would often get drunk and take drugs, trying my best to numb the sad thoughts that circled in my head. I would often cut myself and write in blood on a white wall in my basement. Money and fame could not succumb the darkness within me, and at that time I did not know why.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. But what did make me feel better about myself, and what stopped me from taking my own life is being able to see hundreds of thousands of people enjoy my music. Being able to see happy faces and to know that I have prevented them from taking their lives because they listen to my music. Because I connect with them, I know their pain, and they know about me through my lyrics. Maybe that is the reason why I made it here. To a place, I did not believe to be real. Throughout my life I have made fun of afterlife, I thought it did not exist, that you just die and that¡¯s pretty much it. Just like before you are born, wrapped in a void of emptiness. Yet I was wrong. Moments before my death I felt pain in my chest, my whole body trembled and collapsed. A total heart failure. Quite ironic because in the last months of my life I have decided to be healthier. I have quit drinking and smoking and regularly started visiting the gym, I also started writing new lyrics and coming up with new songs. The timing of my death was most unfortunate indeed. My eyes closed and my soul left my body.
For a brief moment, all I could see was darkness, as my soul travelled through the empty void. Judged by the holy powers, to be decided if I was to be sent to hell or to heaven. All of my memories and thoughts scanned like how computer scans data, all of my opinions weighted and all of my sins gathered. While I was unconscious, I could feel it, someone digging through my brain, trying to find everything about me. And in the end, my eyes opened and a bright light blinded me. My body naked and young while a bright halo levitates above my head My mind is free of stress while my body feels more comfortable than the usual. Reminding me of the time I used to get high mescaline, like I am in a dream-like state. ¡°Welcome Peter¡± A heavy voice echoed through what seems to be endless fields of clouds. Accompanied by rays of warm and pleasant sunlight, the wind is however surprisingly absent in this unprecedented place. An old man in white attire stood in front of me, a warm smile is present on his face while his hands are opened, welcoming me as if I am an old friend. Although my mind is puzzled, I for some reason trust him, I do not see him as a hostile character and his face genuinely makes me feel more comfortable, despite the situation at hand. ¡°Who are you? Where am I?¡± I quickly asked the two questions, while trying to understand the place I stand in. ¡°I am the gatekeeper, I am in charge of these gates behind me¡± The man pointed at large golden gates behind him, its fence stretches across the endless bright void while the bright golden colour reflects the sunlight back at me. ¡°and you are in heaven¡± He followed up. As I stood in disbelief I decided looked around in more detail, the man stood still and waited for my mind to comprehend what is happening. His face still has a wide smile, while his hands are now behind his back. As to show that I can take as much time as I can. This is not real. I thought I must be on some kind of drugs again ¡°This is all real Peter, you have died and been transported to heaven, I am here to welcome you.¡± ¡°Reading minds huh?¡± I smirked ¡°This is not real, heaven and all this god and religion bullshit is not real, I am on drugs, I know I am.¡± ¡°You may not believe it now, but you are in the afterlife.¡± ¡°Bullshit¡± Peter chuckled, still refusing to believe in what he is experiencing both mentally and physically. ¡°Even if all this shit is real, there is no way a person like ME, could end up in here. I have done many horrible things, I have tried taking my life for fuck''s sake and from what I know that is a serious sin. So I should be in hell and not in heaven¡± ¡°While it is true that you have sinned. God is known to be merciful and forgiving, he must have had good reason to let you step into this paradise, the halo above your head is the evidence.¡± ¡°...¡± I can¡¯t believe this. I have died...The last thing I remember was being at my home and... Watching TV? No, I was doing something else. Peter scratched his head, trying his best to remember moments before his death. ¡°Heart failure¡± The old man said, confirming that he can actually read minds ¡°Due to constant use of alcohol and drugs, your heart gave out.¡± ¡°But...I have been leading a healthy lifestyle¡± ¡°In the past months yes, but what about your whole life?¡± Peter looked down and thought to himself, biting his bottom lip and while thinking of a response. ¡°What now then?¡± ¡°Well now, you are to pass these gates behind me and meet your creator¡± ¡°You mean god?¡± ¡°Yes Peter, I mean god¡± ¡°Why would he want to meet me?¡± ¡°I have no idea, but trust me, he knows what he is doing¡± Peter looked around one last time before he slowly began walking towards the old man. The man, on the other hand, turned around and began walking to the gates, preparing to open them. His feet stood firmly on the clouds while his hands and head pointed up. ¡°All mighty, open these gates and let your new child in¡± The man shouted while looking at the sky. And almost instantly the gates opened by themselves. Showing that Peter is accepted into heaven. ¡°Welcome to Zion¡±