《Kanamori Want Vacation》


 Prologue

    There is almost no human don''t know the word ''God''.


    The word that is used to describe one who literally created the whole universe or someone who controls every living being''s life and death.


    That is what any kind of believers or people with more than ten brain cells in their head will say.


    There are all kinds of gods and their unbelievable myth about how they created the world and universe or how they reached their godhood depends on religion.


    Starting from something a bit plausible myth like a Buddha or Jesus to insane myths like a Hercules & his 12 labours, Journey to the west that puts a fight in Dragon Ball looks like a catfight.


    Depending on what they associate with God''s power are insane, while some of them can control plants or govern nature but there also some gods that literally controls time and space or writes your fate like he writing an essay on Sunday morning.


    People tell you, you master of your own fate, but I say bullsh*t!


    Control my own fate my ass!


    You think you are some hot shot, but until some god decides you to die by some cotton pillow, you will die or you decided to die like some kind of romantic death like Romeo and Julieta with your lover, but God decides to you to die falling into a large pile of animal shit? You and your lover dive into a pile of shit head first and die by suffocation.


    Ah, but why I am I complaining so much about gods and death right now, you ask?


    "There! now, what is your move little demon." Said man two or three head taller than me sitting on a bronze chair half naked. He dressed in short pants along with golden belt adorned in precious gems, golden bracelet and helmet decorated with even large gems.


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    "How many times I have to tell you Cabrakan-sama. I am Oni, not a demon."


    That is right! now I am playing checker with one of those gods right now. Whom do you ask? Its Mayan God of Mountain Cabrakan! maybe the evil god, but that is in the past.


    And why I am playing checker with god !?


    The fate of 500 people! and not that kind of fate that decides they live or die, but fate either they sent into an underworld without any judgement or sent to judges depending on their religion.


    All of this mess is because of that idiotic reincarnated idiots with MC syndrome! I know to erase the problem you have to leave no seedling but not by using some bullshit power to damaging their soul directly!


    Because of that all of these souls scattered all around god''s domain without any guide. I say some of them are lucky enough to arrive in the domain of reasonable gods, but unlucky ones like them appeared in a domain of forgotten or evil gods?


    I say two-word ''THEY F*CKED!''


    It''s like giving a hamster to five years old child. They can wreck them, tweak with their fate, brainwash them, consume them or even shape their soul into a completely different shape and that is just a Monday.


    Also!


    "Do you know who I am!"


    "Please young master!"


    "No, as sole heir of Qin family and son of heaven. Why should I afraid of these demons!"


    "Yeah! you lower beings release us!"


    Calling a god a lower being?


    Does this guy''s brain got short-circuited or what?


    Ah, just as expected I saw Cabrakan-sama''s eyes began to shine in dangerous light behind his helmet. He is definitely pissed is''t he.


    I wanna leave, but duty it duty.


    Ah, allow me to introduce my self I am Kanamori Ken, White Oni and former male.

 Chapter 1: Promice with God of Mountan

    The roaring sound of cannon, a smell of gun powder, the war cry of many brave men, pure white snow stained with bright red blood, feeling of cold that pierces deep into my bone and my human name. That is all the things I could remember after being reborn as white oni in heaven.


    First thing I saw was three disappearing figure followed by two people with two small horns on their head screaming ''Sucess!'' and a few days later begun to teach me all kinds of things.


    Two years later I noticed abnormality of my body also a difference between normal Oni baby. First was my growth speed was insane, in just three days I already look like five years old child.


    A second was the colour of my eyes is in reverse, I only had one horn.


    Third I could see a black hole in everyone''s body well almost everyone.


    Then with curiosity, I asked from two oni''s raising me.


    I was an artificial oni created by combining the human soul with the essence of a forgotten god. Due to a sudden increase in the amount of soul arrive in many pantheons. Many of them faced a problem of not enough manpower resulting in all kinds of chaos in heaven or hell alike.


    Then someone decided why not we create manpower ourselves. Usually, residents of heaven and hell are created from massive energy from that place or a usual natural way. So they used the first one as their base began to do their experiment and after destroying many souls later they created the first prototype which is me.


    Yaay, Kanamori you are a clone.


    I don''t even know should I be laugh or cry.


    I don''t know what happened to other souls because I sent to King Yama''s place to resolve big problems related to paperwork and demons right after I finished my education. Then to European Hell and heaven to resolve a conflict between demons and sinners.


    Then back to King Yama''s place to punish extraordinary sinners, then Greek''s underworld followed by Mayan one. Just like that, I moved between many pantheons doing all kinds of work without knowing it is already 412 years passed.


    Now things become normal, pantheons found ways to resolve problem-related to manpower, the total amount of souls arrive in heaven and hell became stable. Everything became nice and smooth until the world''s treaty comes in.


    In nutshell, international law between our world gods and other world gods. Because of that, souls from another world also began to a system of our world creating even more confusion and chaos. But also souls from our world also went to another world''s system.


    That will lessen our work? Nope!


    Because of all kinds of bullshit powers like magic or qi, not just ordinary souls enter our world. As a result cheating or killing newcomers to run away, trying to escape into the reincarnation cycle without going through check. Sometimes they arrive without any life record or have damaged souls like them.


    That is not it all sometimes some idiots from another world will attack which is like pulling a pin out of the grenade, putting under your pillow.


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    Well back to the present.


    "What is that thing saying ?"


    Cabrakan-sama said with bright red eyes.


    Thank god, he doesn''t understand the Chinese language, but still, he gets a gust of what is this idiot saying.


    "Cabrakan-sama he is saying how big and mighty you are."


    Smile, smile don''t show him any sign of hesitation.


    "Hmm? looks like he talking down on me ?"


    Why his observation that good today ?! didn''t he got poisoned by a duck?


    "No, it is not, it is a way that people speak the same language as those people showing their respect."


    As if I know anything about their culture except their language. I quickly put my piece over Cabrakan''s piece capturing it then I continue to move my piece continue jumping over next pieces. In the end, I successfully seized 9 of his pieces then placing my piece on kings row. Which is now Cabrakan has expression looks like he about to murder me.


    But what am I supposed to do?


    I couldn''t resist the urge to seize it, those pieces looked so tempting.


    Then I saw Cabrakan takes his piece and rising up above his head.


    Oh, no he gonna do it again.


    *BANG!*


    He slammed piece into the board. With a loud sound, both pieces and the board turned into the dust. Damn! This checker made of pure Mythril, but he turned into dust.


    "This board is broken. We can''t carry on, so this game doesn''t count. Bring another one."


    Said he laid back to his seat.


    What an unreasonable god he is. Well, at least he is not lashing out or taking out his anger in some way he is better than 80% of gods. Also, he created a perfect opportunity for me.


    "Cabrakan-sama I want to play as well, but it will take more than three years to make another board that able withstand your great power."


    Well, in fact, it takes one day to complete if I bribe Fafnir with some treasure but if I do that this kind thing will happen again and again. There is no way out if I win he will destroy board if I lose he will send those souls into an underworld. That means it will be deducted from my salary which I don''t want to.


    Hearing my compliment, dangerous light in Cabrakan''s eye decreases.


    "Well, since that game doesn''t count, little demon play with me again when new board comes. Take those things away, but in exchange present me that jar of exotic drink. "


    He said while opening his palm.


    Oh, looks like he liked it huh. then that is good cause I already prepared one jar in advance.


    "Here Cabrakan-sama, but beware you must drink within one year or else it will be spoilt."


    I gave him a simple jar with a tightly sealed lid.


    "Good, now go little demon but don''t forget the promise."


    Taking sniff from a jar a faint smile slowly appears on Cabrakan''s expression and removes his domain''s seal with a simple swipe giving me permission to leave his domain. Before he changes his mind, I put those souls in my pouch and disappears into a void.

 Chapter 2: Some idiots just doesnt listen

    "Hiss"


    After passing through the gate, I let out air.


    This time everything went so smoothly that even now I still suspected that went too smooth. On last time I walked out of this gate with one of my arm missing and other time I just threw out like garbage because I teleported directly into Mahabali''s place.


    He didn''t throw me out because I arrived in his mansion as an uninvited guest, but because of me, he lost in gamble against a god of good luck Daikokuten. As a result, in a rage, he beat me up and thrown out of the gate. Later I found out Mahabali gambled with Daikokuten as who will enter his place he put his fortune on a male while Daikokuten put his on a female and a few moments later I arrived.


    It is a miracle that I lived, well technically he and his servants broken every bone in my body, destroyed my heart and spine putting me in a half-dead state. Thanks to that I spent one year in Shangri-La which is nice and all, but I don''t want to send any more of my points, so I went back to my work.


    Now back to the present. I arrived in front of sanzu river of eastern hell. Just like a usual, it is full of people trying to cross the river. After their departure, first souls must cross the Sanzu river to meet king Yama and Ten judges. They cross different part of the river depending on how they lived to range from simple and peaceful bridge to deep water that full of man-eating monsters.


    Passing the river with those souls in my bag is against the rules set by king Yama, so I opened my bag placing those souls in a cell that away from sanzu river.


    "Stay there until I return with your life record. I don''t know what will happen if you leave the cell and I don''t take any responsibility for it."


    I am saying for their sake well it will don''t stop them for leaving the cell but at least I warn them because at least for now they are unregistered souls in this world so no matter how saint or good person automatically they will take as a sinner moment they place their foot in wrong place.


    After saying my warning, I went towards the bridge.


    "Well, last time I went to that part so today I go this way."


    Why I choose which way I should go despite there is clearly a bridge in front of me? Of course, it''s choosing which group of children I take it with me.


    It is just hard to ignore those kids piling pebble with their beaten hand to reach paradise that they will never reach because it will be destroyed when pile reaches a certain height.


    Just looking at their face mixed with tear and mud, I feel guilty without any reason.


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    "It''s a blind big sis!"


    "Yaay! "


    Looks like they already noticed me but they only move their mouth because they stuck in one place to build a pile of a pebble.


    "Okay, okay lower your voices. Also, I am not blind."


    Looks like I got some name for me but why they call me blind sis?


    "But, big sister you always cover your eyes."


    Oh, that huh. I quickly erase shackles on their bodies and prepared to send them back to the cycle of life.


    "Well let''s leave my problem here now all of you close your eyes ."


    Obediently kids followed my word closed their eyes in front of me as I began to recite the heart sutra of Avalokitesvara. I am no god so I shouldn''t do a job of god, but I can still help him. By reading his heart sutra of a specific god it is like communicating with them, so reading his sutra he immediately knows my location, what is my wish. Prayer and ceremony also work the same way, but it is like using the more powerful phone to call them.


    A moment I finished the sutra kids begun to enloped by light and a few seconds later disappeared with light at the same time I heard a faint voice in my head.


    "Thank you"


    Just like that crossed the sanzu river and went towards a building that collects life records. Entering thought door I met building full of onis and spirits running around holding all kinds of scrols contains the life history of a specific person.


    "Oh, Kanamori what bring you here."


    Said one bald oni greeted me. He wearing black hakama(Japanese pants), simple white haori (Jacket) over his white kimono. He is Arata Eichi, chief of record department. He looked just like this, from the moment I first met him. I don''t how old he is, but I say at least his age is double or triple of my age.


    "Hey, Kanamori did you just now thought a very rude thing about me right ?"


    Nope, why should I think a rude thing about workaholic like him?


    "I want to take life record of newly arrived 500 souls."


    I saw some Oni''s transported away in a stretcher passing right beside me and other guy screaming unknown gibberish while writing something on a scroll. Poor guys, they definitely became like this because of overwork.


    "Oh, we already received it. Here take them."


    Arata gave me a box full of scrolls shining with all kinds of lights. Putting all those scrolls in my pouch, I returned cell then I saw 20 or 25 people who laying outside of cell without any skin.


    Yep, those idiots got skinned alive by Datsue-baba.