ã€ŠHow to get lost: a wanderers guideã€‹


 Ch. 1 Day 1: The first trip

    Hello there! It is a pleasure to see you, not that I am of course. Seeing you that is. But courtesy costs nothing, right?

    I suppose this is my journal. A private and personal log of my thoughts and experiences. In which you honestly should not be snooping. Unless you should. Then by all means, snoop away!

    Though I''m not entirely sure what sort of person would feel required or obliged to snoop through someone else''s private things. Some sort of creep or snoop I would suspect.

    Creeps, stay out!

    Moving on, who am I? Who is this, writing these words?

    I ,uh, I don''t know. Simple, right? Just woke up you see, no idea who I am, where I am, or what I''m doing here. It¡¯s a rather strange feeling really. I seem to know how to read and write, and a few other things, but I have absolutely no context for how I know these things.

    Well, I doubt worrying about it will help matters, and whenever I think on it too long I get a rather nasty headache. So, lets catalogue what I do know.

    First of all, what can I discover about who I am? I''m dirty. Absolutely filthy really. Slathered in a sticky mixture of dirt, blood, and some kind of dimly glowing sludge. Smells pretty terrible. I worry that some of this dirt isn''t really dirt at all. The ''dirts'' various browns mixed with the sticky crusty red-black blood all over my hands and chest, and the sludge, an actually rather pretty purplish orange, coats most of my left side and lower body in a thick gooey yet surprisingly springy mass.

    I have two arms and two legs, with two hands and two feet attached at the ends. Five fingers or toes extend from my hands and feet respectively. All of this is extending from a torso with a bit of hair on it, and some dangly bits. Along with a neck and a head popped on top for good measure. Everything seems proper and correct, besides the terrible mess. My feet feel a bit bruised, and there are some raw scrapes along my arms and on the palms of my hands, but I can¡¯t see anything that would explain the sheer amount of blood on me. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Must not be mine then.

    I am also very much naked, and it''s cold and drafty here, which is probably what woke me up.

    Speaking of here, where is here? Here is dark, but from what I can see from the light coming off of my sludge it appears to be a small crevice or cave of some kind. The floor is covered in a thin layer of sandy dirt over rock, and a sheer semi-smooth rock wall rises around me on, meeting just over head to form a low rock ceiling.

    There is a bit of dim light coming from a narrow opening in one of the walls, more than likely how I got in here in the first place. I¡¯m not sure why I crawled into here before losing all my memories, but I bet I had a good reason. I seem like a reasonable sort of person to me.

    The only things in here besides myself are a satchel, this journal, and this writing tool thing I am currently using.

    The satchel is suspiciously nondescript. Made of a uniform dull and uninteresting beige material, with the only piece of ornamentation being a tarnished silver clasp decorated with a stylized swirl. The inside of the satchel is oddly dark, even for the insides of a bag in an unlit cave, and I feel a bit leery about putting my hand in it for some reason. It has a slightly padded strap attached to it, made of the same beige material, and its weight is quite unnoticeable.

    This journal is quite nice. Leather bound, with little silver bits on the corners of the cover, and a sturdy strap and buckle to keep it closed when I am done writing in it. The pages inside are all blank, and the creamy crisp paper was perfectly unblemished before I started writing. I notice that the pages stay clean too. My very filthy fingers have brushed against them on occasion, but they leave no stain behind. Only the lines from my writing remain to be seen.

    My writing tool is comprised solely of some sort of shiny stone or metal. It feels perfectly comfortable to hold between my fingers, and when I touch the smoothly tapered point at its end to the paper it leaves behind a beautiful clear crisp black marking. I have no idea how any of these work, but it certainly is convenient.

    Third what am I doing here? How did I get here? Why am I covered in all sorts of nastiness? Why am I naked? Why do I have nothing but a blank book, bag, and writing tool? Where even is here?

    No clue.

    Well, sitting around and writing isn¡¯t going to answer any of those questions. Not to mention, I¡¯m cold, hungry, and bored. Time to venture into the unknown.

    Should be fun!

 Day 1:The first steps a doozy

    Hi again, still me. It''s been an exciting day today, though rather short.

    After I crawled from my hidey-hole the first thing that caught my eye was the lights.

    I was in a large cave with a sandy floor and scattered all over the walls and ceiling were patches of the same glowing goo that was caked on me, I shall call it glow goo, and it shall be mine.

    It came in a vast variety of colours, but my favorite was a reddish-orange. I was oddly relaxing to look at. Watching the subtle shift of hues and shades distracted me for quite a while.

    There were rocks of various sizes scattered about the sandy floor, the largest being about the height of my knee and the smallest only the size of my big toe. Also in the sand were footprints, presumably mine. Judging from how erratic the path they took was and a few areas that looked flattened it would appear I wasn''t in the best of states when I came through here last.

    Though, I suppose I''m not all that much better now. With nothing better to do, and no better ideas presenting themselves. I quickly decided to follow my own footprints back to wherever I came from. Maybe I''ll find some answers. As I set off I passed close to one of the larger stones.

    And it bit me!

    I gave a panicked scream of primal terror and in a fit of adrenaline driven ingenuity grabbed the nearest rock, besides the one that had grabbed me. And began to smash it into the offending sediment.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Imagine my surprise when my impromptu weapon sprouted claws and chitinous legs which began to flail as wildly as I was. More screaming and smashing happened. In the end I was victorious over the Not-rocks-not-bugs. Which I will call the Not-not.

    On a happier note, it tastes pretty good. Which brings me right into my other big news of the day! The Tingles!

    See, as I was prodding the Not-nots with my pen after our legendary battle, the pen wrote upon the not-nots shell. Which in and of itself isn''t that interesting. Writing is what pens do after all. But in my overly sensitive post panic state I noticed something new.

    A sort ofpull from the pen, and a flow of something from me to the pens tip. This flow felt like the wind on your skin, but under your skin. Kind of. It was a weird feeling, and hard to adequately describe.

    Focusing on this new sensation I found it came from a place deep in my chest and flowed into my shoulders and down my arm to my finger and then into the pen. I left a bizarre tingling sensation in its path, hence the Tingles. I am really good at naming things! If I do say so myself.

    Naturally, I played with this new sensation for a while until I managed to gather a fair bit of Tingle into my right hand, and it started to become less of a tingle and more of a buzz.

    Wiggling my fingers about and marveling at the odd feeling I snapped my fingers.

    And my hand burst into flames.

    An embarrassing amount of time passed with me running in circles and screaming, which I seem to be doing a lot of today. Before I realized I wasn''t in any pain. The flames curled around my fingers and danced in my palm. I stared at it for a rather long time.

    Eventually I noticed a strain. A sort of pressure building in my mind. So I shifted focus to the dead critter next to me. Fire plus critter equals crispy critter. Its math.

    So yeah, todays meal was finger fried not-not. And all this excitement has exhausted me. So after checking that the larger not-nots couldn''t follow me up I crawled back into my hidey-hole. Still naked and filthy but full. Which is a wonderful start to the, no doubt, wonderful things to come.

    Good night.

 Day 2: Mistakes were made

    Hello. Today was not so good.

    Ok, I''ll be honest. It was straight up bad.

    When I woke up and tried to crawl out of my hidey-hole a blazing spike of pain stabbed directly from my foot to my head.

    I guess in all of the excitement of making fire and fighting yesterday I never really checked on the place the not-not grabbed me. The wound itself was just a small but deep cut on the side of my calf. It was clearly infected though. Pretty badly too.

    My whole leg up to mid-thigh was swollen and red. And the wound itself was oozing pus and black blood.

    Which is my least favorite kind of blood to ooze.

    So, what could I even do? I had nothing but a journal, pen, and satchel. Nothing to clean a wound with. Nothing to cut off a gangrenous limb with either.

    I am naked and truly filthy, and I think touching an already infected wound with my gunk encrusted hands is a very bad idea. So, the only other thing I could think of that might be of use were the mysterious Tingles. ''Well, it can hardly make it worse now can it?'' I thought.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    I was so, so wrong.

    I marshalled my Tingles into a roaring buzz right below and behind my sternum. I pushed that rumbling mass down through my body to my groin. Then I directed it down my leg to the infected bits.

    It freaking hurt! Pain lanced through me like lightning through the copper house of a blasphemer!

    But it was working! The redness and swelling had begun retreating back down to my foot. I could hardly believe my fortune! I was going to be alright!

    Or so I thought.

    However, when the swelling and redness had receded to the area near the wound itself it wouldn''t go any further, and my foot had become swollen to a truly grotesque degree. In desperation and fear I pushed the Tingles with more force than ever before. If before had been a slow but firm push, then this was a body slam.

    And the wound exploded.

    White-yellow pus and black-red gunk splattered against the ceiling of my hidey-hole, and flames gushed from the now gaping wound on my ankle. I passed out.

    When I woke up, which I was surprised to do, my foot was bleeding profusely.

    I must not have been out for very long; because there wasn''t much pooled around it yet. Wearily, I wrapped the strap of my satchel around the wound. Binding it as tightly as my quivering arms and fumbling fingers could manage, and then I sent a couple of Tingles to the area in hopes of somehow healing and closing the wound.

    I don''t know if I will wake up should I fall asleep once again, but my body it shaking and my mind is aching. So I am going to seek shelter in sleep.

    Goodnight me, don''t die.

 Day 3: Is it possible to get even more lost? Answer: yes

    Hello again! Feeling much better today, thanks for asking.

    It''s always surprising how a good nights sleep can make all your biggest fears seem so very small.

    As I once again woke up in the cold, dark, and very smelly crack of my hidey-hole, call of nature and all that, I immediately examined my wound. Surprisingly it was much better than expected!

    When I finally managed to pull the sticky and blood caked strap of my satchel off of it it had already closed. Which seems unusual. But what do I know?

    I worked my ankle and foot gingerly. Stiff and painful, but not debilitating. So I made my way outside and made some breakfast. By which I mean I snuck up on a rock and set both my hands on fire before grabbing it. I got a not-not on my third try.

    Pro tip: if you roast a not-not hot enough the shell cracks itself, saving you much time and labor. Worth it even if the succulent meat inside gets a little crispy.

    It would appear that Tingles are good both for roasting your enemies and healing your injuries. How very convenient.

    After some plotting and scheming I managed to come up with a plan of sorts. I caught another not not, and very carefully burned it out of its shell. Then I filled the newly hollowed out shell with glow-goo. Making it into a lantern of sorts.

    Fed and armed with light and a burgeoning spirit of adventure I set off.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Following my own footprints through the caves and tunnels I find myself quite lost within. Numerous tunnels and caves split from my path and I nearly wander off into a few of the more interesting ones. But I stick to the plan for now. I''ll have to come back later for those.

    More trails of what I now recognize as not-not tracks doodle through the sand. There are other tracks as well, but I have no idea what made them. Whatever it was, it''s much bigger than a not-not. These mystery tracks lead off into the side tunnels. I might give those particular tunnels a pass on exploring.

    After a while my old footprints lead me to an vast underwater river. Far too wide to see the other shore with my dim light. The dark water burbles merrily as it washes onto the sandy beach I apparently washed up on before losing my memory.

    Excited by the opportunity to finally get somewhat clean. I lay my satchel and lantern down on the bank and leapt into the water. Then promptly leapt back out shrieking my head off. The water was very cold.

    I gingerly work my way slowly into the water. Inch by inch, with a healthy pause before dunking myself under when it reaches my hips. I then use handfuls of riversand to scrub the worst of the gunk off with its grit. I works out alright.

    Now that I am cleaner I can see I have pale skin and lots of interesting little scars on my hands, arms, feet, and legs. Including my newest trophy from the dreaded not-not. Other than that all I can make out on the waters moving surface with my shoddy lamp is that I do in fact have a head.

    My footprints lead directly into the water. Making following them further an impossibilty, and so I have become even more lost than before. No longer even having a possible path to answers. Oh well not much I can really do to change that.

    Things are looking up in my opinion. My complete loss of any sort of direction nonwithstanding, I am fed, clean, and can make a fire with my hands to keep me warm. Not too bad for my third day of life!

    As I lie on the bank of the Underriver, as I have decided to call it, listening to the echoing babble and rush of water I can feel myself drifting off. I''ll let the rivers song carry me to sleep tonight.

    Good night

 Day 4: Look! in the sky its... the heck is that?

    Hello again! Big news! I am out of the caves!

    Yes, I wandered mightily today, and followed a breeze right to the wonderous wilds outside. Of course there were some adventures along the way. Well, Ithink they could be called adventures at least, and I don''t see anyone around to argue that fact with me.

    Some were less dangerous then they were terrifying. Like the sneak-squeaks. They sneak and they squeak, hence the name. Darn things can fly! I was wandering through a small cave, just minding my own business and looking for a not-not to eat. When out of the black comes a shrill echoing squeak.

    I reflexedly shrieked and froze. Before I could even begin to consider the consequences of both alerting something to my position, and then standing perfectly still. Those consequences came to me. I was surrounded. Dozens of soft wings flitting and battering at me. Shrill squeaks and nipping teeth woke me from my terror induced stupor.

    Barely visible small bodies filled my vision, and I started swatting wildly at the creature filled air. Thankfully the sneak-squeaks are not sturdy. A single well placed swing and they fled. Leaving a pair of unlucky sneak-squeaks writhing in the sand behind them.

    Breakfast was served, but they are very stringy. Not my favorite. Which is fair, considering I''ve only ever eaten one other thing. That was a rather mixed start to todays adventures in my opinion.

    I did learn how to spit fire out of my mouth today as well. The trick is to hold the buzz under your tongue and then whistle. Also, I learned how to whistle.

    Truthfully, I was whistling a happy bit of randomness when I happened to blow a crimson streamer of wonderful fire into the air. It''s a nice little trick. Because now I can burn things that are outside arms reach. Which is an ability that quickly showed its usefulness.

    Because the next critters I stumbled upon were something I had no desire to touch. Sadly, the eight legged monstrosities seemed more than willing to scuttle all over me. Which was a bad thing, since they were almost as long as I was tall and stood at about hip height. The first one I saw was a nasty surprise.

    But I managed to kill it with fire. The second one saw me before I saw it, and the first clue I had to its lurking about was a pain in my ass. Damn thing bit me in the butt! Then everything got much, much, worse. My body locked up and I collapsed face first into the dirt. The freaky thing, which I am still struggling to name, grabbed me by the feet and started dragging me somewhere.

    When I stopped being dragged (drug? drugged? whatever). When I stopped being yanked about by a monster with too many eyes and legs I was somewhat relieved, and took the chance to spit out all the sand that had drifted into my mouth when I tried to scream.

    My mouth still feels gritty.

    Then the world shifted, and I soon found myself dangling from the ceiling. Suspended by something I couldn''t bend my neck to see. I couldn''t feel anything but my face, and that was a little numb as well. But when the damnable creature responsible for my discomfort scuttle back into view I made a concerted effort to run the fuck away. Because it was accompanied by dozens of its presumed brood.

    It didn''t work. The running away I mean. So I moved onto plan Z. Whistle viciously at my captors. Always a last resort in these sorts of situations. I think. Trying to work my numbed lips and tongue into any proper resemblance of whistling was a tortuously slow affair. But I guess I got points for trying, because my sputtering drooling numb lips still managed to send a ribbon of fire into the face(?) of the nearing horrors.

    Which they did not like. Not at all. So I dug deep, and sent more fire into their writhing bodies. That was roughly when the oddly white walls of my would-be prison caught some fire themselves. And with a *Whoomph* everything turned into fire. It was quite beautiful while it lasted.

    Sadly it didn''t last nearly as long as I had hoped.

    But it was enough for me. The freaky monsterthings scrambled about, blinded and panicked by my flames. They seemed pretty flammable too. Soft hisses started filling the air around me. The hissing became louder and louder, until it became a near inaudible shriek. Followed by a series of sickening *pop-pop-pops* as the whole brood and their disgusting leader softly exploded into chunks.

    A little while later I was sitting against the cave wall and laughing quietly to myself. Watching the last of the flames die down on the carcasses of the monsters that had nearly eaten me. Which is when I noticed the flames were guttering. Something about that caught my eye and mind.

    So I snapped my fingers and brought fire to my hands. I watched the dancing red flames intently, and sure enough, they were catching a breeze. The slight breeze, too gentle for me to notice its touch, carried the fire in its flow. So I stumbled to my feet, and started shambling after the breeze.

    As I followed the breeze my movements got easier as whatever thatthing had stunned me with wore off. Pretty soon I started to see light. Real. natural, pure light. Something I had no memory of, but the sight of it filled me with vigor. I rushed onwards, and it started to get brighter and brighter. I was getting close, so I sped up again.

    I took one final turn and came face to face with the blinding light of the world.

    I had to close my eyes for a while until I could finally look directly at the source of all this wonderous light. A small but brilliant orb, burning yellow in the blue sky. As I looked at it my eyes tear up and my head started to ache.

    There had been lots of things Iknew without knowing how I knew them. I''d been letting my worries and questions fester since I had no way of answering them. It had been a grinding and insistent pressure on the back of my mind. How can know so much, words and writings, descriptors and describers, but nothing much else? I could describe a creature. But everything was new.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    Now I felt something give in my head. I fell to my knees, I am not sure if I screamed from the blinding pain, but when I came to my throat was raw. Iknew more. Nothing about me, sadly, but that yellow ball? Thats the Sun. That blue stuff all over everything? That''s the Sky. I knew whatthingswere.

    Some things anyway. Still no idea who I am, or what those things in the cave are really called. But basic concepts. Ground, Sky, Sun, very basic stuff like that. Like those large brown and green things that filled the space between the sky and the ground. Those were trees, and when the cluster into a big group like this, they''re a forest.

    With that before me I looked behind. The yawning mouth of that cave gaped open it the stone behind me, and above that towered a single sky-piercing mountain. The mountain was slender and looked, odd. Not really sure why the first mountain I ever saw made me think this isn''t what a mountain is supposed to look like. But it did.

    It had a curve to it, and it slowly and smoothly tapered to a point at its peak. It vaguely looked like the fangs those eight legged monsters had used to bite me in the butt. My butt wound has healed nicely, by the way. Barely noticable. I sent some Tingles to it and they seem to have helped immensely.

    So, with no better idea then to simply go forward, I set off into the unknown forest before me. It didnt take long before I spotted all kinds of interesting new critters.

    Like the fuzz-butt. It has a long fuzzy tail extending from its butt, and they scampered about the trees making a very annoying sound. Kind of a *chitter-chatter-chuuff* series of sounds. When a dozen or so of them start doing it in tandem it gets pretty aggravating.

    Then there is the branch-brain that has branches coming out of its head and four feet that end in odd hard toenails. That guy grunted at me. I saw some branch-brains without the branches. Maybe they lost theirs? They move about the woods in elegant leaps and prances. It''s rather fun chasing them, just to watch them elegantly run away.

    I was having a pretty fun time exploring this bright and colorful new enviroment. Full of interesting new things. But I hadn''t had anything to drink or eat in quite a while. Not since the sneak-squeaks this morning. I had refused to eat the eight legg- you know what? That''s a pain to write. I''m gonna call them Leggers.

    It works on two levels, they have loads of legs, and when you see one you want to leg it. Leggers!

    So, determined to find some water at least, and hopefully some food too I started wandering around for looking for a river to get a drink. Which is when I spotted a very odd creature. It stood on two legs like me, but was very short and green. Little fella only came up to my knee. Did I mention it was green? Yes, yes I did. How do I erase stuff? I can''t...

    Moving on.

    We saw each other at the same time, and the little green man came running right at me shrieking at the top of its lungs and waving about a small stone hatchet. Small to me at least no doubt it seemed a right fearsome battle axe to my diminutive aggressor.

    Gotta admire his spirit, if not his brains.

    I saw his charge and raised him a fire to ya face! More shrieking ensued, but of the panicked variety rather than the bloodthirsty. Snatching the hatchet from its weakened grasp I ended it as quickly as I could. Which is when I heard the rustling.

    Turning around I saw a full dozen little green men. All holding stone tipped axes and spears. There were two heartbeats of silence as we all let the scene settle in our minds. Then, as one, I turned to run, and they charged at me shrieking bloody murder.

    Can''t blame them for that.

    They were faster than me. So they caught up rather quickly, but I managed to keep them at arms length by wildly swinging my stolen hatchet. I also whistled up some fire, and sent it at them. That really freaked them out, but it was definitely a mistake.

    First of all, whistling while running full tilt, and swinging a hatchet is extremely difficult. Secondly, looking backwards while running full tilt is just plain stupid. And they made sure to capitalize on my stupidity. One of them hurled its spear. In a mixed bag of luck it didn''t stab me in my squishy bits, but it did fall between my legs. Tangling them, and sending me tripping at speed directly into a tree trunk.

    Tree trunks are very solid things. Much more so than, say, a nose. So it should be no surprise that my nose was violently redirected by the unforgiving bark of the tree with a grinding *crunch*.Some luck was still on my side, since the sudden stop of all forward movement by me was completely unexpected by my foes. So they overshot me and had to scramble to get back in for the kill.

    Which gave me time to stumble to my feet and plant said feet firmly on the ground. The first of the little green men came screaming out of the brush, and met my hatchet with his face. A solid click shot out, and he fell to the ground, dragging my weapon with him, buried in his face. So I snatched up his shoddy spear instead.

    Three more came out two on the left one on the right, and I managed to wind up and deliver a sweeping smash to the two, before turning to hurriedly stab the third. I wasn''t fast enough. My spearhead took him in the throat, and his took me in the gut.

    I was already struggling to breathe throught the blood filling my nose and mouth. The two I''d batted were getting to their feet, and three more were rushing out of the woods at me. I was desperate, so I took the deepest breathe I could, and gather a riotus buzz of Tingles to my filling lungs. I had no Idea if this would work or not, but it could hardly make things worse.

    I exhaled, blood and fire filled the air in front of me. The little green men started screaming. All five who I had been facing were on fire, two were screaming and rolling on the ground. The other three simply lay there, charred, in the dirt. The tree that had stopped my flight earlier smouldered slowly.

    The last five came out of the forest, took one look at the devastation before me. I tried to look intimidating, which was hard to do when my body and mind ached sorely. And I guess I did a crap job too, becasue they gave yet another scream before swarming me.

    I was carried to the ground under their combined weight, crushing one of them beneath me. Flimsy stone hatchets rose and fell, cutting into my arms and legs as I tried to punch and kick my way to freedom. I lost all sense beyond the fight, pain and anger and sound filled my world. Bones crushed under my fists and feet. The final little green man ended his life with my hand wrapped around his throat. Writhing and gasping until he finally fell still.

    I collapsed, just laying there. Savoring in my painful victory. Finally I climbed slowly to my feet wincing and laughing at the madness of it all.I spent the next while plucking shards of stone from my wounds and sending Tingles to help heal them. I looked through the packs of my former enemies. The ones I hadn''t immolated that is. Skunky dried meat and stale water in skins was my dinner today.

    Then I sent Tingles to my nose. The tickling tingling sensation making me sneeze, which made my clearly broken nose punish me with a white hot spear of pain to the brain. I setted for a steady and slow heal there.

    The sky has been changing. When I left the cave the sky was blue and the sun yellow. Now the sun has moved to the horizon, and it is red. While the sky is a beautiful series of shade, from vibrant red clouds near the sun. To purples and blues and onwards to blacks.

    I think this is, night. Or the start of it. I don''t know the significance of night. But I am exhausted. My energy dwindling alongside the dimming rays of the rapidly disappearing sun.

    I climbed a tree, a large princely oak, for the night. It felt right.

    As I sit here, writing this and watching my first sunset. Looking back on the struggles of the day. I smile, for I am still Alive.

    Good night.

 Day 5: Hot to trot

    Hello again. Today was... Interesting.

    When I woke up and left the tree I noticed something disturbing. Yesterday I fought 13 little green men, but today I only count 11. That means either two survived the fight, and could be back with reinforcements for revenge, or it could be that there is a large meat eating predator or predators that can carry away two little green men that are each about a third my weight.

    Personally I''m betting on the latter. I feel pretty confident I killed them all dead.

    Either way, I didn''t want to stick around and find out. I was still stiff and sore from the fight yesterday, and in no state for another fight. My nose in particular is still tender, but much better than before. I reckon it should be fixed by this time tomorrow.

    So I put the odd mountain to my back and headed off.

    Munching on some of that gross but filling dried meat the little green men had in their packs. I''m sure I don''t want to know what manner of critter tastes like that. Its like someone rubbed sweaty feet in unwashed armpit, then smoked it.

    As I walked I whistled, I find there is something calming and relaxing about whistling. Letting tunes of whimsy and a wandering mind echo alongside my physical whimsical wanderings. It feels right. To whistle while I wander.

    I sent the occasional plume of fire darting out at any curious critter that might have waylayed me. I did find one candidate for the little green mens disappearance. The mighty fat-fur. It''s a rotund and large animal with thick fluffy fur much bigger than the little green men.

    Its shoulders coming up to about my hips on all fours, and I guess it might be a bit shorter than me standing. They definitely outweigh me though, so I made sure to scare the few I encounter off with a few ribbons of flame.

    Did you know trees like fire?

    Yeah, one caught some fire from an errant whistle and started to pass it around to all its friends. Soon they were all passing around my fire and making a cool roaring snappy sound. I didn''t even know fire could get that big.

    I decided to leave them to it and carry on. Get it? Leave? Tree leaves? No one is gonna laugh are they. Then again who would even be reading this?

    Moving on, as I headed away from the firetree party I started to hum.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    I was listening to the snap and crackle of the trees behind me. There was a certain music to it. So my humming mimicked that tune. The tingles started to hum with me, dancing throughout my body and making an hum harmony. A Humory?

    I started to feel warmer. Enjoying the sensation I hummed louder, and the tingles rose from a hum to a thrum. Deep rippling vibratons rumbling through my body. In a heady tune of freedom and hunger.

    My feet started stepping faster, first to a fast walk, then a jog, trot, gallop and finally I was sprinting to the driving tune.

    My feet were pounding away at the earth. A counterpoint and rhythm to the joyous roar that had filled my frame. I started feeling hot, my pounding heartbeat accelerating to match the rhythm of my steps. I sped up more, beyond what I had thought I was capable of.

    A glance downwards showed my whole body was wreathed in fire, most noticeably my feet. I was tempted to burst into joyous laughter, but knew that would end the music. And that would be a true shame. The hum picked up, carrying me away in its joyful melody. I sped through the forest leaving nothing but fire and its song behind me.

    Soon the thrumming music was too much for my body alone to contain, I let it out into the world. Hoping all things would revel in this music as I had. Fire exploded from me with every step, and I could see and hear the nearby trees catching the tune. Bursting and roaring to life as they echoed the song of fire back at me. I danced and dodged between their trunks. It was glorious, and I never wanted it to stop.

    But slowly the music turned. New players joined in, Branch-brains, fuzz-buts, and fur-fats, along with all kinds of feathered friends added their voices. Where the trees burned cheerily, sharing the fire song happily with one another. These new chords sang of desperation, pain, and fear.

    Of smoke filled dens, where children once slept, of lovingly crafted nests, set ablaze, of carefully stored foodstuffs, reduced to bitter ash. They sang of slow painful death. Of choking on black smoke, and they screamed in gibbering terror at the dancing red wonder around them. The music took a turn and dove off a cliff, and suddenly I wasn''t enjoying myself anymore.

    All I wanted to do was end this new song of maddening sorrow. It had no joy left in it anymore, as the trees simply repeated whatever song they heard. The fear spread, and I needed it to end.

    Looking ahead I saw a small stream. Maybe three bodylengths wide, and I decided to jump it. Get away from this new song.

    My leap fell short but the explosion of steam from the river picked up my blazing hot body, and carried me to the other shore to land amongst bushes of vibrant red berries. My flames extinguished, and my body exhausted.

    It was at this point that I finally noticed the pounding ache behind my eyes. The thorns that had torn my legs and feet open. The scalding welts from whipping branches. All the pains of charging blindly through a dense forest. Forgotten in my music induced madness.

    Combined with the fact that my hide is still a bit ragged from the fight yesterday. It''s surprising I''m doing as well as I am. My legs are shaking like a leaf in a storm, and I know I won''t be doing much walking for a while.

    So here I sit, watching the fire dance with the trees eating berries by the handful. Letting the song shift and change as it will.

    I''m can barely think. My mind feels slow, and tired. For now, it would be best if I could get some rest.

    Good night.

 Day 6: Introspection is hard

    Hello again. Today I have diarrhea.

    As I squat in misery, glaring balefully at the bushes whose succulent and sweet red berries betrayed me.

    I think of the last few days. AKA my life as I know it. At first, waking up in the dark. I was driven by fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the dark, fear of hunger and pain.

    I was moving to abate that fear, to beat back the pain and hunger. To discover the unknown. To divine the dark. And it worked, I found fire. And fire gave me life, light, warmth, and safety.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    But when I found my way out of the caves. Out of the dark. I was driven by joy. Joy of the boundless sky, of the bountiful earth, or the beaming sun. I was so happy, I forgot the fear and pain. And then those little green men brought it back.

    And so I sought the cure of my fear, and brought fire to me. I tried to share it with those around me. But the lands above are not as those below. For here fire is not just light and warmth. But a choking, clinging, burning death as well.

    And to these places and creatures that gave me such joy and wonder. I brought ash and death. I feel shame, and sick, and nauseous. I think that last one''s from the berries though.

    So as I lie here sweating into the fragant grass. My guts burning and churning, and the sour stench of sickness wafting from my chosen area of befoulment. I weep for what I have destoyed.

    Good night.

 Day 7: Sharpen your knives

    Hello again. Yesterday was a rather dark day for me.

    But, I feel much better today, I''ve said it before I''ll say it again. Sleep makes mountains into molehills and impassable walls into interesting puzzles.

    Well, except I haven''t said it before I guess. Just kind of thought of it right this very moment. But its a good thought, I think, and I''m sure I''ll say it again sometime.

    By no means do I intend to forget my thoughts of yesterday, nor my actions of the day before. It is a valuable lesson indeed, that your actions can have dire consequences. Whether thats a forest fire or horrible diarrhea. It all depends on your actions.

    And diet.

    So today I lazed about, taking my time. For a variety of reasons really. For one, my guts are thoroughly empty, and very delicate. So I dedicated a lot of time today to finding sources of food, and stockpililing what I could of it. So I can gorge myself when I''m finally feeling fully put together again.

    Hopefully that''ll be tomorrow morning.

    For another, I haven''t really had much of a chance to relax yet in my life. To just kinda, sit still, smell the flowers. That kinda thing. I''ve been on the go for as long as I can remember. It''s nice to just relax.

    I woke with the rising sun, and spent the first bit of my day just watching as the sky once again went through its brilliant transformation of colors.

    Truly beautiful.

    Then I, very gently, picked myself up off the ground and had a look about the place.

    I was on a small spit of land between rivers. Comprised of a few dozen slender trees and a large variety of grasses and bushes. I made sure to steer clear of those blasted red berries, and the area I had soiled with my, uh,stuff.

    I then set about exploring the river and the lands around it.

    Bizarre things flitted about in the deep cold waters of the streams. Flashes of silver and movement all I could make out of them. I set about catching one of these mysterious thingamabobs. Diving happily into the crisp clean water after them.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    For a while I was unsuccessful, until I discerned their hiding spots. They ducked under overhanging banks and rocks. Lurking in the shadows, before making another speedy sprint towards another hiding spot. So I hovered over one such rock, my hand sitting absolutely still under it. Waiting for an unsuspecting mystery creature to fall into my trap.

    It took a while. My hands became heavily wrinkled and I began shivering intensely before one finally fell for it.

    I scooped the surprisingly slippery and slimy mass of struggling muscle into my arms. It writhed madly, thrashing and snapping in a desperate bid to re-enter its prefered domain. But I was resolute in my desire to examine these things closer. And so I threw it ashore, and waded after it.

    Bulging eyes and gaping mouth attached to a sleek silver scaled body. Stubby flat and see through appendages grew from its sides, back, bottom, and top. Twin gashes fluttered angrily in the air on either side of its body, just behind its head. The thing thrashed, and seemed to be trying to scream, though it made little noise.

    Fascinating things.

    It flailed about for quite a while before finally becoming very still. Closer examination howe it to be very much dead. I still have no idea what killed it, but in the spirit of understanding, I went back into the river for more. To see if these reactions were unique or not.

    After I warmed myself back up of course. Nothing warms me up quite like covering my whole body in fire. I was careful o do this away from and trees this time. Another firetree party is something I am keen to avoid.

    Catching the odd things darting about in the river occupied my time for a while. I haven''t named them yet. There are so many that could work! Darters, silver-quicks, land-dead-water-alive, so on and so forth. It would have been easier if there was just the one kind, but they came in all sizes and colors.

    Do I have to come up with a name for every single last one of them? That sounds like such a waste of time.

    Watching and seeing what the animals around me are willing to eat was also time consuming. Note: none ate the shiny red berries. I did see a fat-fur open up a rotted log with a swipe of some very respectable claws, and gobble up a bunch of wee little things writhing inside. I''ll try that in the morning, the fat-fur seemed to find them delectable.

    Later, that very same fat-fur sniffed out the small pile of steadily worse smelling river things. Watching the fluffy beastie devour them finally shifted their existence from mysterious river thing, to food source. I''ll have to try a fresh one for breakfast tomorrow along with the wriggly things. The smell from the old ones was starting to get pretty bad before they became fat-fur food.

    I do wish I was feeling hungry, my guts are still rebelling at the very idea of eating though. I''ve been collecting supplies of berries after seeing a swarm of small feathered things denude a few bushes. Hopefully that will help tide me over in the morning before I go looking for river things or wriggly things.

    I have so manythings to name!

    All in all, today was a day of rest and learning. Which was quite enjoyable. I could go on, but my hand is getting stiff from writing, so I guess I''ll stop here for today.

    Tomorrow is going to be a day of travel and new experiences. I''m very excited, and I hope to cover lots of ground.

    Good night.

 Day 8: You should always assume things can get worse

    Hey. Today was an adventure or two.

    First of all, fat-furs have terrible taste in food. I woke up hungry, and as such devoured the berries I had prepared for just such occasion. Lots of seeds, and more sour and bitter than I''d have liked. But at least it was filling. Filling that I immensely regretted when I bit directly into the head of my first river thing of the day. Directly after pulling it from the river.

    My mouth was filled with nasty ucky blechy gunky juice, and my entire being rejected it with all its might. Which is when those breakfast berries made their reappearance. They tasted worse the second time.

    Once I was done puking my guts dry, I washed my mouth out as thoroughly as possible. Then burnt the river thing to a cinder in revenge. I was surprised to actually find it smelled much better after being burnt, but sadly was unable to salvage any food from it. Not that I would have been willing to try even another nibble of the foul thing.

    I have no doubt that good smell was a trap. Deviously designed to lure hapless predators into eating of its horrid flesh. Well it didn''t fool me!

    With river thing now firmly off my menu I moved on to the small wrigglies. I was hesitant to try them, no longer trusting fat-furs as food guides. But I was starving, so I tore into a rotted log, and scooped up a double handful of wriggling white things from inside of it.

    I washed the wood junk and dirt off of them in the river. Then suspended one over my mouth. A few moments hesitation was ended when my stomach rumbled. I was too hungry to just let another meal wriggle away! So I dropped the first wriggler into my mouth.

    They weren''t bad. Not a lot of flavor, but they had a good chew to them, and they burst in a fun fashion.

    So I feasted of the lot of them, washing them down with more berries. And finally, I was fed and ready for the road.

    Which is where I met the ravagers. Roughly my height, but much broader and heavier.Shiny black chitin plates cover their whole body and they have two legs, six arms, and razor sharp mandibles right at face biting level.

    Their legs are short and stout and their arms come in two distinct varieties, the top two are long and tipped with long blunt claws. Which they appear to use for moving about in a sort of shuffling leap while balanced on what I guess would be their knuckles. The other four arms are much shorter and are cradled against their chest. They are tipped with incredibly sharp looking trios of grasping claws which I can declare with certainty are used for ripping and tearing.

    The shorter arms are just long enough to reach their mouth bits, which as near as I could tell looked like they could chew through a tree. They use the little arms to rip off bits of their prey, and feed them to the clacking horror show that is their face.

    I was just wandering about, having a small bit of adventure when I stumbled into five of these terrors steadily disassembling a branch-brain. I froze, and watched in dumbstruck silence as half of that poor creatures flesh was cleanly removed from the bone and eaten. Deciding I wanted exactly nothing to do with this situation I backed away slowly.

    And stepped on an extremely loud twig.

    *Crack!*

    I looked down in incredulous amazement. Never before had I heard so small a twig make so loud a sound. Which is when I heard it. Silence, the sound of the ravagers tearing apart the branch-brain had ceased. I looked up, certain of hat I would see, and dreading it.

    Sure enough, all five ravagers had turned their weird glassy bulging eyes and stubby hairy antenna towards me. So I did what any intelligent, resourceful, handsome person would have done.

    I ran for my life.

    I could hear them behind me, the thumps of their knuckles and feet against the ground. The excited scrabble of their claws against their armored chests. The clacking and soft chittering of their mandibles. Eerily quiet for such large critters.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    I refused to look back, focusing only on what lay ahead, and how to get through it as fast as possible. But I could hear them closing in.

    My options were dreadfully limited. I wasn''t going to be able to shake them, not if I kept on as I was. And I had zero confidence of taking them in a fight. A dozen little green men less than half my height and weight? Sure, I could maybe handle that. Five brutes larger than me, with thirty arms between them to my two? Extremely unlikely I would survive.

    So I needed to add something into this equation. Try and dismantle their advantage, or at least distract them while I flee. So I reached out to the only real option at my disposal. Despite how badly thngs had gone last time. I reached for th Tingles. I hummed, heard them pick up the tune. My fear making them shift and jitter. I released them.

    I exploded with fire. My desperation fueling a vibrant blast of heat and flame around me. I heard a deafening shriek cut into my ears from far closer than I''d feared. They had nearly been on top of me when I ignited! Fear gave me speed, and fire gave me a chance. I didn''t look back, I just kept running, and running, and running.

    Hopefully the trees didn''t join the party this time, but I felt, and still feel, I had no other option.

    Finally, my weary bones demanded a rest from all the jolting and jostling, and my aching lungs and heart agreed. So I slowed to a walk. Finally looking behind be, I saw nothing but forest. I have no idea if the ravagers are still tracking me even now, or if I happened to kill or maim them with my sudden explosion. Regardless, I could run no more.

    The sun was well on its way down from the sky, and my mind wandering far from my feet when I felt the earth shift beneath me. With an odd strangled hoot I fell two bodylengths into a pit.

    I leapt to my feet as quickly as possible. Which means I lay on my back and gasped for breath for a good long while before finally slowly shambled to my feet. Any thought of climbing out was buried deeper than I was by the smoothly worked sides of the circular pit, and the multiple rings of sharp looking stakes that lined the rim like overlarge wooden teeth.

    I tried climbing anyway. I could dig handholds and footholds, and even managed to get up a fair way. Before the dry dirt crumbled and I fell back to the bottom. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I lay there. Face up in the dirt. Staring at the small patch of blue sky, and trying to get my breath back from wherever the fall had knocked it.

    Hungry, tired, and sore. I remember thinking, ''well, at least it can''t get any worse''. And that was when I heard the sky roar.

    Dense gray clouds boiled into the small patch of blue above me. Devouring the cheery sky in its more fitting somber shades. With another throaty rumble from the firmament water began to fall from the sky. I was soaked in short order, and the water started to churn the dirt around me. Turning it to mud, and then murky water starting to fill the pit with disconcerting speed. That wasn''t the first time I missed the caves, but it may well have been the most fervent of them.

    So, I was in a pit. Whose walls I cannot scale, and which is filling with water. Yup. That sucks.

    The water fell in a torrent, and soon it had risen to my hips. No problem, I thought, I can stand this (pun intended). Then it rose to my chest, and had no pun for that. Finally it was at my neck, and I started having to swim just to stay afloat. I flailed about for a while before settling in to tread water and hope something changed for the better. Unsurprisingly, it didn''t.

    The sun went down and the water kept falling. I was cold, I was wet, I was tired, I was hungry, and I was starting to get rather upset. I reviewed my options as best I could. So, I''m in a pit. I can''t climb the walls, I''ve tried. I can''t stop swimming or I''ll drown. And I can''t get any purchase on the floor to try and jump out, not that I''d make the jump if I could.

    I decided on a plan. I would just continue to tread water, until it had filled the pit. Then I would simply swim out. As soon as I had chosen this as my plan of action, The water ceased falling from the sky.

    That was the moment I gave up.

    I had nothing, no plan, no hope, and no memories. Well, except for the last handful of days of course.

    So I thought of those times. The good and the bad, my triumphs, such as they were. And my losses, again rather small and mild. I thought of the meals I''ve eaten, the creatures I''ve discovered, the places I''ve been. The things I''ve done.

    Which is when I recalled something vital to the situation at hand. Three days ago, I had leapt into a river while aflame. And a burst of steam from the water had picked me up, and carried me away.

    Why wouldn''t that work here and now?

    I gathered all the Tingles in me. Ipushed them together, into as small a bundle as possible. The highpitched whine I felt more than heard from them led me to believe I was on the right track. Then Ishovedthem down towards my feet. As hard as possible.

    *BO-BOOOM!!!*

    The blast threw me clear of the pit. Launching me high into the air in a jet of incredibly hot steam. One of the spikes along the edge had caught my left shoulder on my way out, leaving a gash two hands long, a finder wide, and a knuckle deep along the outside of my left arm from shoulder to elbow.

    I arced through the cool nightnair, and finally I landed in the welcoming branches of a tree. I can''t hear anything since the big boom. I might have overdone it with the fire power on that one.

    I wearily sent Tingles to my shoulder and ears, and now that I''ve written down my days adventure I suppose I''ll try to get some sleep.

    Goodnight.

 Day 9: Im reflecting on it

    Hello there! Today started with a fall and it kinda just went downhill from there.

    When I woke up I was dangling dangerously from a branch. After my traditional startled snort and babble of the morning, I tried to work out a healthy way down from my precarious perch. I''ll just cut to the chase here, I did not.

    There is nothing quite like a long fall and a sudden stop to start your day. Or at least I hope not.

    How did I even get all the way up there again? Oh, wait. Yeah. Right. Note to self: DO NOT BLOW YOURSELF UP, unless absolutely necessary, or if theres some fun reason to, like anything really, Explosions are fun! Except then you have to deal with the deafness, and achey bones, and what-have-you afterwards.

    Lesson learned there. Kinda.

    My arm was weak, stiff, and sore. So even if I had wanted to climb down naturally it would''ve been a challenge. Probably would''ve ended the same way though.

    So I had a problem, and how do I solve my problems? Well, I typically throw Tingles at them. If the problem persists, then clearly I didn''t throw enough Tingles at it. It worked for the not-nots, it worked for the leggers, it worked for the little green men, it worked for the ravagers, and it kind of worked for the pit.

    But, there was also the firetree party. Which went very badly indeed. Trees don''t seem to mind being burned so much. But critters absolutely hate it. I''ve been doing my best to forget the sheer maddening panic and fear they felt when they were in my fire grasp.

    Wait, why could I feel their feelings? Why haven''t I thought of this before? What is going on with me? What are Tingles anyway? These are all good questions. And I have no answers for any of them. So I guess I''ll just tuck them away in the back of my head for now. Maybe I''ll figure this all out later.

    Back to this morning.

    My half-baked idea for getting out of the tree was to burn hand and footholds into the trunk and then use them to climb down. Maybe not the greatest idea, but probably not the worst. The whole tree caught fire way faster than I was expecting though. About as fast as a bad idea going wrong. Wait, no, it lit up exactly as fast as a bad idea going wrong.

    See where I''m going with this? So my morning started with me falling out of a burning tree. Not the worst start to a day I''ve had so far. One word; diarrhea. I can''t even tell if I am lucky or not that a passing fur-fat broke my fall with its fluffy body.

    Morning exercise of the day: Fall out of tree, check. Agitate local wildlife, check. Flee from aforementioned wildlife, check. Morning exercise complete.

    After finishing my morning marathon I started to look for food. Why not just fry the fur-fat? They may be wrathful gluttonous beasts with bad odor, and worse taste in food. But they are cute. With the little eyes and the big ears mixed with their basically spherical body shape. Much nicer looking than most of the other critters I''ve seen so far. And I have decided that I don''t like setting fire to cute things.

    Not unless absolutely necessary.

    So breakfast was tart green fruit I saw some branch brains eating. With a side of roasted branch brain. Branch brains aren''t cute. They''re more majestic, and majesty goes well with tart green fruit. Whats the word for someone who says one thing, but then acts in direct violation of what he said? Because I''m one of those.Butchering is tough work! Especially when you are using a slightly sharp stone.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.

    After breakfast I wandered aroung for a while looking for that pit I fell in yesterday. I wanted to see if I could find some tracks of whatever made it and follow them. Maybe to find other people, maybe to get revenge for being dropped into a pit. Sadly, I didn''t recognize anything around me. That steam blast must have thrown me even further than I had thought.

    So giving up on that I randomly picked a direction to wander off into. Some critters got roasted, some tunes got whistled, and my arm and nose healed up nicely. It was with high spirits I saw something I never wanted to see again.

    The Burnt Forest. Just blackened and scorched trunks standing or fallen to the horizon where the mountains stood. With the odd occasional pocket that had somehow avoided the blaze. I''d come full circle. Putting the mountain to my back once again I charged away from my past mistakes. Hoping that they wouldn''t chase me.

    And that''s how I ran into a swamp. Literally. I was tromping along, not really paying attention to where I was going, when with a *splorch* my foot sunk knee deep into sticky sucking muck. I tripped, and fell face first into more of the stinky morass. I lurched and flailed about for a bit. Trying and failing to stand upright. Finally, I managed to flounder onto something solid enough to stand on.

    Which is where I got my first glimpse of the swamp. Tall grass and reeds waved in the sunwarmed breeze. Trilling calls of unknown things fill the air, alongside the quite murmur of the slow flowing creek that cut a squiggly ribbon through the swamp. I was standing among hummocks of tall grass. Tiny individual hills, the spaces between them filled with water and mud. Indistinct shapes slithered and leaped away from me. Hiding among the grass.

    I then started heading deeper into the swamp, aiming to reach the slow flowing creek and remove some of the caked on muck that covered me. The uneven and soggy terrain made for difficult walking, and I pretty much stumbled my way across it. Finally, with a splash I entered the water.

    Which is where I was introduced to the fang-logs. Long and scaly critters, they looked kind of like a fallen log with an attitude problem. And a whole bunch of teeth. They also nearly disappear from view in the murky water I had just thrown myself into.

    On a side note, It would seem the satchel is both water and fireproof. And keeps the things inside of it safe as well. Which is nice.

    Thankfully, the closest fang-log to me must not have been hungry. It flashed some fang, let out a spine chilling hiss, and vanished into the murk with a flick of its burly tail.

    I fled the water immediately.

    I hopped and stumbled my way back through the grass, and became the target of a singleminded pursuit by what must have been every single bug in the swamp. As I sent muttered curses and blasts of fire at the millions of biting, crawling, itching, buzzing, maddening, insects around me. I slowly but surely made my way to a dry spot. A little islet nestled amongst a collection of tall fluffly reeds with a single dead gnarled old tree in the middle. Once there I met yet another new creature. Shudder-suckers.

    Shudder-suckers are small blackish slimy wormy things. They must live in the water here. I named them that because when I saw them stuck all over my body I shuddered violently, and also because they were suckered on me but good. Fire fixed that.

    Fang-logs had already made a home of the dry spot before I got there. They seemed determined to stick around, maybe have me for dinner. Fire fixed that too.

    Dinner was fang-log. Not bad tasting, a bit chewy. The hardest part was getting through their skin and removing the guts and bits I didn''t want to eat. I used that rock again, the one with a vaguely sharp edge to it. Very, very, messy. That being said, there was a lot of meat on even the smallish one I had decided to eat. I gorged myself. Feeling full for the first time in ever.

    I threw the left over bits into the water. I figured that something would come by and gobble them up.

    Something did. No idea what though. All I saw were bubbles and some disturbed water, then they were gone. Freaky stuff.

    So here I sit, in the damp sand of this little piece of semi-dry land watching the sunset once again. Burning bugs and feeling thoroughly exhausted. Wading through water and mud is very draining.

    I definitely don''t want to be laying on the ground if one of the bigger fang-logs comes back in the night. So I will settle myself into the branches of this gnarly old tree.

    Hopefully fang-logs can''t climb.

    Goodnight.

 Its natural

    Hello again. Today I decided to focus on getting clothes.

    Why clothes you ask? Simple. Bugs do not stop biting when you go to sleep. I woke this morning covered in bugs and their bites. I imagine you could see my flames from the caves. I feels like a eternity since I left those dark tunnels.

    Anyway, I trekked back into the swamp stratching at the magnificent display of colors and texture those vilesome insects left on my skin. Determined to put something between me and them for the next night.

    My first problem is material. What can I make clothes from? I tried making clothes out of fire, but it just doesn''t last. the long grass and reeds of the swamp caught my eye next. A long while of handling the sharp edged grasses and brittle reeds left me highly frustrated. So naturally, I burned the offending plants.

    This was when I had a breakthrough. Among the ash lay loose fine fibres. Cackling gleefully I scooped up this new plaything. As it happens I am terrible at fine motor control. Oh I can write just fine, clearly, and my continued survival showcases my fleet-footedness and agility. But real control, fine dexterity. It is my bane.

    This became more and more evident as I attempted to find ways to work the fibres as is. They are too fine for my stupid fingers to manage to weave and hold. So I began to roll them into thicker stands. Grumbling in disgust of my own incompetence I painstakingly began to get thicker and longer groupings until I suppose it could be considered thin cord.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    Time passed slowly as I hamfistedly wove the resilient fireproof cordage into sheets. By this point I was going to make clothes of this or die trying. The sheets of cord, none larger than three handspans, I began to secure to each other with spare cords and thorns from a very unpleasant bush. This led to pricked fingers. And those led to screams of impotent rage and frustration

    As the sun started its descent from the heavens I was left with two misshapen pieces of what might generously be called cloth. By a blind man. Sensing the end I moved with increasing haste. And in that haste I accidently stepped on the hem of one of my hard earned prize. Tearing it in half. I spent the next while inventing curse words. None of which I wish to write.

    The two, now three, pieces of cloth became a poncho and skirt. I used the smaller half of the torn cloth as a belt and a floppy hat. In a fit of whimsy I decorated the belt and hat with the fangs from the fang log I had for dinner.

    The cloth is a bland ashy grey, and the workmanship is rough. And the poncho in particular is stiff and scratchy limiting my arms movement some. Making writing this a hassle. I guess I will need to cut some arm flaps in it. And there are a few wider gaps between individual sheets than I''d like. But I am no longer naked, and that is surprisingly comforting.

    The sun is almost gone so I will rest again on this muddy flat.

    Goodnight.

 Beans, beans.

    Hello again! Today I made a new friend!

    Upon waking up in the swamp, still bug bitten but much less so, I decided to get as far from that place as possible.

    So I clad my feet in a Hum and used the steam pressure from the swamp water to skate and glide my way out of the odious swamps. I only crashed five times!

    Along the way I was ambushed periodically by fang logs and massive slithers. Nothing some Tingles couldnt handle. Oh yeah, slithers slither, that''s why they''re called slithers. The most difficult thing was actually spotting them underwater. The muddy liquid hid them scarily well, but some tingles to the eyes let me see their inner fire even through the water. Then it is just a simple matter to blow them away.

    Time flies when you''re having fun, and it seemed like I was out of the swamps before I even knew it. At the edge of the swamps was a river delta, A slow wide river swept between small scrubby hills like silver words from a godly pen. Sandy beaches were interspersed along the great rivers bends.

    It was on one of these beaches that I decided to rest and wash the accumulated sludge off of me and my new clothes. Funny how messy an exploding slither can get.

    As I soaked and scrubbed I saw a massive head slowly breach the rivers waters. I scrambled to the shore and gazed in awe at the sheer size of this creature. I doubted I would be anything other than a small snack to something like that, but better safe than snack, right?Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    The head was scaled in thick muddy brown shades, shortly behind this massive cranium was what I had originally thought to be a barren rock island. Now I see it was this creatures back. Huge, this thing was gigantic!

    As I gaped, stunned and astonished, at this new wonder movement caught my eye. A small, in comparison, shoddily crafted raft was drifting towards the behemoth. Onboard were a mass of screaming scrambling little green men.

    You know what? I''m getting tired of writing little green men, I''ll just write LGM instead. Yup, that''s easier. Hm, LGM. that kicks a weird part of my brain. Now all I can think of is the word legume. You see the similarities? That settles it from now on the LGM shall be referred to as Legumes! They''re small, green, and smelly too.

    So, anyway, the legume raft drifted steadily, with much shrieking, into the giants mouth where it was promptly destroyed with disturbing ease. A loudsnap andcrackwas followed by a deathly quiet.

    So thats my new friend! She hates the legumes as much as I do. I named her Wrecker. When I tingled my eyes to see her more fully I was surprised to find she had four huge legs and a long scaled tail. I bet she could move on land perfectly well with those strong legs. So I decided to give my new friend some space to digest her meal.

    Like I said better safe than snack.

    Leaving the river and heading into the hills I found a new joyful activity. Rolling down the hills! You get super dizzy and its hard to walk after for a little while, but you get down the hill super fast!

    I did that until the sun went down and as I was lying on my back after one particularily tall hill I saw something new.

    Shinies is the sky. With a mild ache came the knowledge that these were stars. I''d never stayed up long after the sun left, and I was always focused on the ground around me not the heavens overhead.

    So as I lie here writing todays events I gaze upon the beauty of the unknown known. I wonder what other wonders I''ve forgotten.

    Goodnight.

 Mystery is mysterious

    Hello again. Today I went somewhere I probably wasn''t supposed to. Oh well.

    After waking up at the base of a hill covered in dew I quickly tingled dry and once more set off. A spring in my step, excited to see if I can find anymore memories today.

    Rather than climb up the hills again I wanderered through the small bushes and trees formed in the valleys between them. Eating any particularily tasty looking berries that rested on the bushes. Lots of big sweet dark berries and smaller red tart berries leave my hands, face, and poncho stained in their juices.

    After eating my fill, and then some, I find I''ve ended up back at the river. I decided to wash myself off as the sweet juice was attracting bugs.

    Keeping an eye out for my new buddy, Wrecker, I quickly wash off the offending stickies. Though they did leave a stain on my clothes.

    As I was looking at the massive river once again I noticed something on the opposite bank. While most of the hills around here were misshapen and rugged, with exposed boulders and scrubby trees and covered in a variety of long grasses, there was on that was clearly different.

    Smooth and symmetrical, and with a coating of vibrant green. This hill caught the eye in such a fashion that I was surprised I hadn''t seen it before. Most interestingly was the shining gleam I spied at the base of the hill.

    With another quick glance to make sure Wrecker wasn''t about, I steam skated across the river. Bouncing from the slight swells and laughing uproariously all the while.

    Upon reaching the other shore I was tempted to forgoe my exploration to do it again. And so I did.

    I don''t know how long I spent skidding across the river, but I know I only stopped when I saw my friend Wrecker coming to see what all the commotion was about.

    Finally checking out the hill. I saw it was smaller than those around it, and tucked back amongst the others. making it hard to see unless you were parallel to it from the river side. Around the base of this hill ran a series of smooth white stones shaped as wings. Stylized feathers seemed to form organically along the smooth sungleamed surface.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    I will say I spent longer than necessary just enjoying the sensation of sunwarmed stone feathers beneath my hands. These magnificent wings were placed about two body lengths apart all along the base of the hill. They formed a clear dividing line upon the ground. For in front of them was the usual scrubby grass bushes and trees that grew here naturall, but behind them grew only short incredibly vibrant and bright green grass. It almost looked like it would glow in the dark so bright it was.

    The hill was noticably steeper and shorter than those around it, almost appearing to be a cliff. Behind the wings and among the grass were stone steps. Massive slabs of the same white stone the wings were made of. They spiralled around the hill making a easy path to the top.

    Atop the hill was mist. Surprising and unnatural it was at this point that I became cautious about this strange place. As I slowly headed into the mist, which come to thing of it I hadn''t seen from across the river either, I walked farhter than shoud have been possible. Unless I was walking in circles I should have reached the other side of the hill by now.

    Now thoroughly disturbed by this mysterious mist I did what comes naturally, and burned it. Or rather, I tried. This mist swallowed my flames and extinguished them with ease.

    Now in a panic I ran blindly through the mist. I would have been screaming but I needed my breathe to run faster.

    And so I ran directly into a wall and was knocked out.

    Coming too in one piece but still in this mist I scrambled to my feet, cradling my aching head. Before me stood the cause of said headache. It wasnt a wall, but a huge gray stone standing upright. Scrawled all across its surface were spiralling designs that catch the eye and dull the mind. After a frankly sad amount of time I shook myself loose of the stones enchanting designs and glanced around.

    The stone wasnt alone but one of many just like it. Arrayed in a circle of ten with one layed across the top of two others making an arch. These arches encompass an small stone hut. This hut is made of the white stone from the wings and steps but without the sun to make it shine it seems more like polished bone than stone.

    Three sides and a roof made of this ghostly stone make a cube with an open side. The insides are dark. A hungry dark, it greedily swallows any fire I send in to light it up.

    Naturally, I go inside.

    Feeling my way inside, my feet find stairs. Trying to light my way once more my flames are again consumed by the dark before I can make anything out. Resigned to being in the dark again, I slowly feel my way down the stairs. I continue down, further and further, until I simply can''t go on any more.

    Sitting down I dug out my journal, thinking I may have to write while blind, but I find to my surprise the words I''ve written inside give off a glow. After thinking for a bit I try to write on the cold stone steps and sure enough the words from my pen glow with an inner light before they get swallowed by the stone.

    So here I am. In a cold dark place once again, lit only by the words I''ve written and write now. I suppose its better than nothing.

    Goodnight.

 From the darkness...

    Hello again.

    After waking up in the dark and stretching out the kinks in my back and neck gained from sleeping on hard stone steps I once more set off downwards.

    I have no measure of time in this place. Soon I get hungry, and realize a terrible fact. I had no food! Scrambling back upstairs to secure breakfast. I didnt get far before running straight into a wall.

    Tumbling backwards from the impact I rolled down the stairs. Curling up to protect my head I pick up speed, and really start hurtling downwards. The impacts jolt and stun me. I send a flood of tingles throughout my body encasing me in flames. I imagine it must have been quite a sight, me, tumbling down a staircase in a dark abyss, coated in flames and leaving a quickly fading trail behind me. Finally, with one final slam and skid my momentum ceased. Leaving me dazed, dizzy, and smoking at the end of the stairs.

    I may be bruised and battered, but I am surprisingly whole and unbroken. And I reached the bottom. Which is nice.

    Sending tingles out to the areas along my back, arms, and legs that had been hurt the most I slowly pick my self up. And promptly vomit. I liked those berries better before I remade their aquaintance.

    Looking around I find myself still in the dark. Nothing to see here folks. Stumbling around blindly I find two pieces of new information. There is a seemingly straight hallway leading away into still more darkness, and the stairs are gone. Lovely.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

    Hunger is sapping all the adventure out of me. Never, ever, go adventuring on an empty stomach. Its just a good way to have a bad time. So now I must decide how I will proceed.

    Slow and steady in the hopes I will find food before I grow too weak to continue, or fast and risky, in the hope that there is an exit not far away. Or at least something edible.

    Of course, I chose fast and risky. I dash down the hallway my head tucked down and feet pounding against the stone floor. Pumping tingles into my legs and lungs to maintain my blistering pace.

    My breathe becomes labored and wheezing, and my legs leaden and rubbery at the same time. I had almost reached my limit when I see it. Light, far ahead but it''s there. New life is breathed into my limbs and a staccato beat follows my feet into the glorious light and out of the loathsome clinging dark.

    A great tree stands vigil in a wide open amphitheatre, a wonderous sight I''m sure but my eyes are arrested by what is held upon that trees boughs. Massive glowing red fruit, the size of my head or bigger. I leapt into the branches and gorge myself on the sweet and spicy golden flesh that is my salvation from starvation.

    I ate three in their entirety and most of a fourth before I was sated. And it was in a blissful sated food coma that I came to gaze upon the beauty around me. As I lie back against the trunk of the oddly warm and comfy tree trunk I see vast murals playing across the walls as far as I can see. Depictions of great creatures and fierce battles all with the same foci, a great blazing sun.

    As I write these last words I can feel myself drifting off in a food blissed sleep. I shall explore more fully upon awakening.

    Goodnight.

 Into the light.

    Hello again. Today I am reflecting once more on the idiocy of eating unknown fruits.

    Be a dear, and imagine waking up to a terribleitchy feeling all over your body. You scratch and scramble looking for the culprit behind this early morning discomfort but all you find is scraps of fruit. Then you notice how sticky you are. You idiot, you gorged yourself on a strange glowing plant and slept snuggling with the remains of one.

    You''re covered head to toe in juice, how''d you even manage that?! And it freakingitches!

    Its around this point you notice that your skin is bright red. Deciding to go with the never fail action of sending tingles at the problem you try to marshall some tingles together. And fail.

    Its not like you can''t find them, they''re there. It''s just that when before you had to herd and push them to do anything. Now the slightest touch sets them off like sugar high children at a birthday party. They run screaming throughout your body. When the tingles encounter the juice of the fruit on your skin your whole body combusts.

    So yeah, that was my morning.

    At least once the towering inferno dies down you aren''t itchy anymore. Just oddly tan.

    My body now has a golden tint compared too my former pale skin. I think a few of my scars are gone now too. The biggest problem is that I am having a heck of a time controlling my tingles, hums, and buzzes. Naturally that means that my flames are out of control too.

    Oh well. I suppose I''ll get used to it as time passes, thankfully I don''t have to channel anything to write, the pen does that for me.

    Now! The place I woke up in, I shall call it the amphitheatre, is huge and beautiful. I mentioned the murals in yesterdays journal entry. Well now that I am looking closer they are huge, complex, and just plain wonderful!

    On one a massive slither encircles and enshrouds the central sun, all the murals have a sun placed dead center, in the upper corners of that same mural are two competing forces. One is dark, hidden, and mysterious. The other bright, open, and radiant.

    They seem to be fighting but on closer inspection they are working together to fight the slither around the sun. The dark forces have lots of legs, and the light forces have wings.

    Arrayed across the bottom of the mural is a vast variety of different creatures, some are fighting each other. Others kneel and weep at the hidden sun, but in the middle of the mural there is a group, diverse and strange to each other, that is lifting each other up, making a tower to the sun.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Atop this tower of bodies stand five individuals. A tall man, a short beardy man, a winged lady, a black lion, and in the center stands a beautiful lady with long pointy ears.

    These five are poised to attack the slither.

    To the left of that mural is another. This one shows the slither, cast down to the ground. Of the five the winged lady and the black lion are gone. The other three stand around the sun, looking down upon the slither and those who lifted them up. The weeping and fighting peoples are gone, smashed beneath the slithers corpse.

    The light and dark forces are diminished, and have retreated to the right and left corners respectively. Two great beasts stand out among their number.

    From the light steps a tall golden creature with four legs and a long spiralling horn. From the dark comes a oddity, eight black furred legs, four black feathered wings, the body of a cat and the head of a great bird. All in black.

    The next mural shows the growth of the three survivors peoples. The tall man has a tower on a plain and is surrounded by kneeling men and ladys. The short beardy man has a throne under a mountain and around him work other short beardys in fire and smoke. The pointy ear lady rests on a tree branch and a few other pointy eared people offer her fruit and amber.

    The slithers body is gone and intsead a great river is formed from its innards and a great mountain range from its bones. Twisted bodies similar but different from those its fall crushed rise from the river and mountain and march on the three lands.

    The golden and black beast are fighting each other above the sun. The missing winged woman and black lion are back, but they are different. The winged women has another pair of wings and the black lion is larger and pure white. The two are entwined together just beneath the sun.

    The next mural shows great conflict. The three lands are fighting the twisted peoples. The great beasts continue their fight. The winged lady and the lion are the only peaceful place on this one. They have gathered their peoples and settled down in a great jungle. Beasts and winged people frolic beneath the great trees in peace while the other lands fight for survival. The tall men fight with sword and staves that throw lightning. The short beardys fight with axe and shield. The pointy ears fight with bow and spear.

    And the last mural shows a great victory. All five peoples are together again. The winged and beast peoples flank a great force of tall men, short beardys, and pointy eared people.

    Together they push the twisted people back to the lands they came from and set up a great wall to keep them there. The fight above the sun is over. Both great beasts are wounded and back off to their corner. None of the original five are still around.

    I can''t adequately describe the sheer beauty and detail these huge colorful murals hold. But I did my best.

    After gaping at the pretty pictures I took a wander around the room I am in. There is the tree, the glowing fruits, the murals, and the tomb.

    Did I not mention the tomb before?

    Well its a massive stone block with the image of the five carved into the sides. Its made of yet more of that shiny white stone from outside. On top is the statue of a four winged beauty lying in restful repose. I may have stumbled into the crypt of a legend.

    I look for a way out but the only exits I can see are back the way I came or a hole in the ceiling. Way, way, way up there.

    I only noticed it when the sun started to shine through and the tree began to glow.

    Resigned to eating more glow fruit for today I snack on a few before lying next to the tree and preparing to sleep.

    Maybe I''ll think of a way out of here in my dreams.

    Goodnight.

 Take off!

    Hello again. When I woke up today it was to numerous problems and no clear solutions.

    Problem one, how to get out of here.

    Huh. I guess that''s just one problem really. I looked around for inspiration, kicked at the floor a little. Wandered around a bit. Double checked the dark hallway, still no stairs.

    As I lazed against the warm tree munching idly on one of the glow fruits, my gaze was caught by the tomb. I toddled over, one of my legs asleep from my inactivity, and looked upon the winged woman atop the tomb.

    She was beautiful. Short silky looking hair, high cheekbones and big eyes. Slim shoulders and a petite body over all. She seemed to give off an aura of peace and joy. Illusionary music and laughter conjured into my mind by her winsome smile.

    Altogether, an inviolable innocent. Someone to protect from the storms of the world. That this was her grave was saddening. That one who appeared so alive was just a carving of cold stone was both a measure of the carvers skill, and a great loss for the world.

    The one exception to her weak and fragile look were her wings. They overtopped her by a large margin. Enveloping her in stone waves of feather and bone. They looked able to lift the sky, to carry one away from the world and its troubles.

    It was then, as I gazed upon the carved wings that inspiration struck a hammer blow to my mind.

    Of course! All I had to do was craft wings of fire and fly out the hole in the ceiling! Brilliant, if I do say so myself.

    Naturally it wasnt as easy as I had hoped. To express and shape that amount of flame took all my effort. To then control those flames? With my already shaky abilities after eating those fruits? Difficult.

    Honestly, if I hadn''t eaten those fruits I wouldn''t even be able to express that volume of fire. And I had never tried to shape my flames once they were outside of me. It kinda felt like holding in a sneeze. On your back. Hard to do without losing control and blowing it.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    So I practiced. Staring at the statues wings and molding fire in my cupped hands to form a basic shape then tryng to make that same shape but larger on my back. The poncho kept getting in my way so I shucked it off and tucked it into the satchel.

    Huh. Now that I think of it, how did I fit a size five poncho into a size two satchel? I even put all those fruits in it too. Hm. that''s odd.

    Anyway, I managed to form wings after much effort. With even more effort, and several very loud cursing sessions to relieve stress, I managed to fly!

    About a handspan off the floor. Then I fell on my face.

    More cursing ensued.

    It would seem that while I had enough control to form and flap my new wings the wings themselves lacked enough firepower to get real lift.

    So I ate more of the glow fruits. With every one my flames grew in speed and magnitude. Becoming easier to express and exploding with force, but becoming ever harder to control and rein in.

    This cycle continued. Eat, flap, fly, fall, curse, eat. On and on and on. until finally I could sustain my flight. I flew happily about, or rather I tried. My first attempt at doing anything other than rise straight up led to a smashing reunion with the firm stone that made up the floor.

    And so my pursuit of true flight continued. Massive wings of flames founting and flapping behind my back. Pushing me through the air with speed and force. Only to smash into the walls or floor or tree. Those beautiful murals are looking a little worse for wear.

    Finally, I formed smaller wings at my wrists and ankles to allow me to better control my direction and orientation. More practice, and curses, later I had pretty much managed to only crash most the time instead of all the time.

    So I headed to the ceiling. powering my way through the air angling towards the hole that showed the sun had already gone down.

    Well, I made it to the hole. And I made through the hole.

    Mostly.

    The hole was smaller than I thought. The speed I was going managed to force my head shoulders and one arm out. Sadly my satchel caught on the edge. I managed to wiggle and worm the journal out, but my legs from the hips down are just dangling in the breeze.

    My head emerged in a small forest clearing. I can see some trees, maybe a bush and what could possibly be an unmentionable horror, or perhaps a tree stump. The sun''s down, its dark, cut me some slack.

    It''s been a long day. Tomorrow will probably be long too so I''d better get some sleep.

    Goodnight

 Focus.

    Hello. Today I may have been too hasty.

    As I woke up, disoriented and stiffnecked from the oddity of my sleeping posture. I came to ponder about some of my past actions.

    I never really thought things through. I wandered aimlessly and responded to any problems with a brutal and efficient staightforwardness.

    And that was all a symptom of my lack of a single trait.

    Focus.

    My thoughts scattered to the four winds faster than fire in a dry field.

    I couldn''t focus on a problem long enough to come up with a complicated scheme to surpass it. So I always took the fastest, simplest response.

    I think of this now because when I awoke it was to find a ravager breathing on my face.

    The sight of a large bipedal insect creature with massive blunt forearms, four razor sharp claw tipped claws protruding from the chest, and snapping mandibles knuckles from my face sent a burst of panic through my body.

    So I slapped it.

    My hand was coated in flames and those flames formed claws. Before, my fire could barely singe the chitin of these creatures. Now? I sliced through its head and deep into its chest cavity before I was even fully awake.

    The gunk inside the poor monster boiled.

    What happens when extreme heat meets a liquid in an enclosed space? Say, for example, the chest cavity of a murder bug.

    Boom!Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    So I woke up to a bang and was dowsed in bug goo.

    Quite a morning.

    After my morning dose of massacre I had to plot my escape from the hole.

    Taking inspiration from the little arms on the ravager I formed ten claws on a stick from fire and set them to digging me out.

    They worked too well. I almost fell all the way back down to the distant stone of the crypt below. Only a hasty and ugly display of my newfound aerial prowess saved me from an even worse start, and end, to my day.

    Flapping free of the crypt for, hopefully, the last time I took to the skies.

    With nothing but sky and sun overhead I could finally see the lay of the land around me.

    Mountains, forests, hills, rivers, swamps, tundras, plains, and even deserts. All crammed cheek to jowl in far to small a space.

    Encircling all these diverse and nonsensical biomes was a vast wall. With the mountains forming a central hub and the wall making a wheel, the varied terrains made twisted spokes radiating outward in no clear pattern from the mountain to the wall.

    I could see the burnt forests and the grand river as landmarks. And judging from how close they were this place was huge. Which only made that masssive wall even more impressive. From here it looked to be nearly as wide as it was tall, and it nearly reached the midpoint on the mountains.

    Pretty impressive. I flew towards the wall as fast as I could.

    As I got closer I could see tiny dots moving about on top of the wall. Emotions bubbled up like poorly roasted notnot. Excitement, fear, joy, worry, I was finally going to see people! I could finally get some answers! I could eat something besides burnt meat and wild plants!

    But what if they didn''t like me? what if they attacked me? It did seem farfetched that a flying fire man would be welcomed into their arms and kitchens. No matter, I thought, I''ll just give it a go. Whats the worst that could happen?

    That was about the time I flew into an invisible wall.

    Lights flashed and sirens wailed as I plummeted from the sky. Disoriented and dizzied by my surprise concussion I barely managed to even out my fall.

    Which is when I hit the sand dune. I guess I had made it over the desert before I hit whatever the heck that was.

    The force of my fall had buried me deep into the sand, and I barely managed to dig out my head and shoulders before the sun started to fall.

    So I wrote todays journal entry chest deep in a sand dune.

    This is kinda thing is happening with distressing regularity.

    No matter, I hope I didn''t just ruin my chances with the wall folk.

    Guess I''ll find out tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: scout report of the forest fire

    To: Commander Agnus of the brimstone brigade.

    From: Ranger Captain Eilaaina Mooncrow.

    Greetings Comm. Agnus.

    As ordered I have led my men to the presumed origin of the forest fire.

    Primary objective complete. After analysis of the area and weather patterns at the time we have reached the conclusion that the fire was unnatural in origin.

    There were signs of a struggle between an unknown creature and a group of feral gnomes. The bodies were largely decomposed and torched but the bones show trauma indicative of a heavy blow from an axe.

    The fires source was a few miles north of the fights location. It was swept by the wind directly into one of the largest feral gnome encampments I have ever seen. The tree towers that the ferals rely on for early warning and defense went up like torches. with no warning it seems the majority of gnomes simple stayed inside their burrows and tunnels.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    The fire sucked all the air from the tunnels. Thousands suffocated or were cooked in their homes.

    Secondary objective failed: We have no clue what caused the fire. Whatever creature did this is smart enough to deliberately make use of the prevailing winds to their advantage in a fire fight. Strong enough to kill roughly a dozen feral gnome hunters in combat, and vindictive enough to kill thousands and burn down hundreds of acres of old growth forest in a night.

    I recommend the brimstone brigade hunt this fire starter before it can rile up the other feral tribes enough to cause another Warband.

    I know you are the experts in putting down fire based monsters and ferals but I still urge you to use caution. Whatever this thing is it''s dangerous.

    One of my scouts found a trail that was littered with burnt animals, bears, deer, squirrels, and the like. It led to a cave within the Ourobouros mountain range.

    Only true horrors emerge from those mountains.

    Be ware. And good hunting.

    Capt. Eilaaina Mooncrow.

 Dancing flames

    Hello again.

    When I woke up with a headache and a sunburn I expected today to be rough.

    Breakfast was self delivered in the form of a massive bug. Its got lots of legs and wings and some sharp mandibles.

    These critters like to camoflage into the sand at the base of dunes and come flying right at your face with their legs spread and mandibles snapping.

    Its been a while since I last surprise screamed.

    They''re actually really weak though, just look terrifying. Some panicked punches and stomps leave them at your mercy. Which is nonexistent when it comes to both massive bugs and food.

    So, you remove the head, legs, and wings right? Then slowly roast the remnants, which are about the size of my thigh, until the shell turns bright blue and fragrant steam comes from the seams.

    Then you just crack it up and chow down. Its super delicious and filling. Desert cuisine at its finest.

    In the desert there is nothing to worry about burning so I''ve been able to just let loose and relax for the first time in a while. The feeling of letting the flames that have been building up inside me finally getting out into the world is indescribable.

    The unspoken pressure from my conscience to not let my flames cause another disaster has been draining and weighing on me for a long time. But out here. I can cut loose.Stolen novel; please report.

    So I play with my flames, I make creations out of my flames. On top of the biggest dune I can find I make a festival of fire. Dancing firey beasts weave and spin across the sand. Vague impressions of shape and form. I laugh and clap to the silent melody the mismatched merry makers frolic to.

    It''s a strain to make so make expressions of fire but It is oddly relaxing. Like finally stretching after being cramped for a long while.

    Encouraged by this feeling I add more and more, heat and detail to the dancers. Looping slithers sweep across the sand in hoops of fire and crimson branch brains leap through their coils. Droves of fiery legumes sizzle past in a heated tango as a pair of winged Wreckers slowly waltz overhead.

    More, my flames spread more and waves of flame carry fireships across heated seas. The air itself shifts and wiggles in its own dance.

    Not to be left simply watching at the side I make a dance partner with a wave of arm and a burst of my imagination.

    I slowly cradle a faceless fire woman in my arms as we slowly waltz about the dune top.

    I took a lot of inspiration from the winged woman statue, so she''s small and wonderful. Soon the whole dune is coated in the hottest flames I can express and I take the festival into the air and we wing our way from dune to dune with flaming entourage on our heels.

    Idly I watch as droves of the same tasty breakfast bugs hurriedly buzz out of my processions path. Elsewhere I see waves of sand shifting in the wake of some great creatures underground movement. Large varietys of scaled and insectoid creatures scramble from my path.

    Dreamily I continue this impromptu parade long into the night. But slowly my flames dim and falter.

    The waves recede, and the animals are snuffed out one by one until its just me and my nameless, faceless, dance partner. Until finally even she fades away.

    And I fall to the quickly cooling sand below.

    Now I lie alone on the cold night sand, staring at the stars. I do not think I have ever felt so alone

    Goodnight.

 A good hunt

    Hello there. When I woke up still feeling sorry for myself I was appalled.

    To wallow in misery and loneliness is a terrible thing.

    Slapping myself in the face didn''t work this time either.

    Well, when even self induced face slaps won''t lift your spirits there is only one thing that can.

    You know it: a hunt!

    I recalled seeing a sand wake in my delirious dancing the other day. A creature big and strong enough to burrow through sand and leave a wake of that size would be excellent prey. Just the right level of fun and stupid dangerous I need today.

    Taking flight again I set out to find the trail of my beastie breakfast. Sadly, sand shifts around alot. Finding any sort of trace in the desert is really hard.

    I don''t even know what to look for, if the beastie just stays still I could fly right overhead and not even notice. Giving it a thunk I asked myself what caused it to move in the first place last time?

    Fire? Or maybe heat would be better. Well if my breakfast doesnt like heat then why does it live in the desert?

    No matter. I plop gracefully onto a dunetop and take a gander about.

    Sand.

    Sand.

    Sand.

    And sand.

    Huh. That was helpful.

    Giving up on actually tracking a subterranean critter with my pretty much non-existent tracking skills I wiggle and wriggle my arms into the sand. Pushing and squirming against the toasty loose grains until I''m shoulder deep. That took a while. The plan was to check dune by dune for the critter with fire.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    So I pushed all the tingles in me as hard as I can out of my hands.

    WHUMPF!!!

    Haha, I blew up again. Its been a while! Gouts of fire and dust swirl into the air as I find my self deposited a ways away from the blast zone.

    The good news way that I suffered no permanent damage whatsoever, so I am unlikely to learn anything from this.

    The bad news is I got sand in my mouth, eyes, nose, ears, and pretty much everywhere else.

    On another positive note the massive hole I inadvertently made is slowly filling with water. The sight of that lovely liquid reminded me of a very vital fact. I hadn''t had anything to drink in days.

    Later, as I groaned in dispair of my lack of self control that led to me having a bloated tummy and rampant nausea, I Walked further into the sands.

    After going over and down and over and down and over and down more and more sand dunes I had kind of started to zone out altogether. Nothing was even attacking me today! Whats a guy got to do to get attacked by lunch these days?

    As I was questioning the vicious nature of the world I felt some thing surprising. Cool shade. Looking up I saw what I first thought to be a weird cloud. A second, more bugeyed, look showed me the truth.

    Birds, filling up the sky itself. I watched as the horizons were blotted out by their flying forms, swooping and gliding about on white wings. The majesty and wonder that the sheer size and constant movement impressed on me lingered even after two less acrobatic fellows crashed into each other.

    I wandered over to the crash site dune to check for survivors.

    Lunch was bird.

    I spent the rest of the day seated atop that sand dune. Dodging droppings and occasionally snagging a meal on wings.

    They were so silent.

    The only sound they gave off was that of flapping wings and feathers stroking the air.

    The sight of silent and agile flight was truly mesmerizing, and it was with some regret that I saw them off into that oh so familiar and distant horizon as the sun fell. I didn''t even think about what a flock of that size was doing here until they had gone. Wandering over to the epicenter of the bird poo and feathers I saw what drew them in.

    The remains of a massive creature. All that was left were some bones and gristle, but I am willing to bet I found the beastie that I had set out to find today.

    I could stand unhindered inside the ribs of the massive carcass. Which is pretty cool.

    It took a while to get away from the smell of rotting meat and bird dook, and a little more time to scrub the remains off of my feet on the sand.

    Today was a good day.

    Goodnight.

 At long last...

    Hello. Today I faced a new fear.

    Once I woke up from my dreams of feathers and buffets I once again set out for lands unknown.

    I have been avoiding the direction of the wall for a few days now. The thought of walking into another barrier isn''t whats holding me back. The thought of meeting people, it excites and terrifies me at the same time. I mean, I have so many questions that I need answered. Who am I, where am I, what am I. I don''t know anything.

    But by that same token, I don''t know how people will respond to seeing me. Hugs and food, or fists and fear. I am very much afraid that it''ll be the latter. The only things I''ve come across even similar to me are those dastardly Legumes. And we both know how that turned out, don''t we?

    So I''ve been avoiding the wall, putting off the inevitable. Fear is scary you know.

    Anyhow, there I was, just trudging across the sand. I had started to entertain the idea of whumpfing another dune out of sheer boredom. Which is never a good sign.

    When I came across some bizzarre tracks. A whole bunch of things had crossed this way not to long ago. Heading towards the wall. I don''t know what they are but judging from the depth and width of the tracks alongside the vast different kinds of track prints and sizes there are a whole bunch.

    Naturally I followed them.

    So that was how I spent the whole dang day following some dusty footprints. I thought about leaving them to find something more interesting but my stubborness had reared its head by this point. I was going to find the progenitor of these prints. Curiosity and determination are interesting bedfellows.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    Snagging some random giant monster bugs for road snacks I plodded on. Occasionally I would whistle a little tune or dance a strange jig. Boredom is my enemy, and it must be cast down!

    Finally, just as the sun gave up the last of its radiance to the stars and moon, I saw something I hadn''t expected.

    Fire.

    Flickering firelight bounced off of the dunes forming a fragile dome of light against the quickly darkening sands of the desert. I had never seen a fire from anything other than myself. Creeping closer through the valleys of the dunes, careful not to disturb my fellow fire makers, I closed in on that familiar flicker.

    I could hear things, chatter, laughter, creaks of material being strained and as I closed in closer I could make out something new. Words. I nearly wept right then and there. For so long the only words I had heard had come from my own tongue. To hear the voices of others shook me to my core.

    My ears frantically snatched the odd coherent sound of speech from the noise cluttered air. Closer, I had to get closer. I had to hear the words. Finally I was just outside the light. Gazing upon a gathering of people like me. Watching as they complained of the sand and road, of the food and of the company. Hearing as they cast mean spirited jokes at each other as if they were stones. Reveling in the light and laughter I hadn''t known for as long as I knew.

    But I could not take that last step.

    To enter the light, to be one with the voices. I tried, again and again I gathered what resolve and determination I could find around me like a ragged cloak. And again and again I faltered.

    Giving up, I slunk back into the dark. Skulking in the sand. close enough to hear the sounds but not the words I lay there and just listened until the fire dimmed and the sound ceased.

    Tomorrow. I''ll do it tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Choke

    Hello. I woke up full of determination.

    Today I would greet those people I had finally found. If they responded poorly then I could always run away and try again later.

    Unfortunately, I spent so long agonizing about meeting them last night that I had overslept. It was the sun being directly overhead that finally woke me. I scrambled to follow the tracks as I had yesterday.

    I was daydreaming, lost in my thoughts of what I would say and how I would be totally cool and not awkward at all, when I heard the first scream.

    I stopped, cocking my head and hoping it had just been my imagination when the second scream shattered both that hope and the silence of the sands. Panicking, I rushed over the dune befire me and found a terrible sight.

    Ravagers. Those disgusting, horrifying, monsterous bugs had swarmed my new (maybe) friends. Already half of them had been killed. Torn asunder and lying broken and bleeding on the now red sands. The creatures they were riding, beasts I had missed in my obsession with the people themselves last night, were freaking out. The screams came from them as they flailed their gangly limbs ineffectually at the ravenous ravagers.

    The men atop them were grimly silent. occasionally grunting or swearing as the swung shining weapons at the vile creatures around them. Crushing shells and cleaving limbs. It seemed the poor fellows on the ground had either been caught by surprise or just kind of sucked at killing.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    It appeared that the remnants had things under control.

    But I may have kind of freaked out. Seeing the only chance I may ever have of getting answers being attacked. I responded the only way I knew how.

    Howling, raging, and flaming I charged the ravagers. Claws, wings, blades and my own body made of or clad in flames crashed into the rear of the heinous insectoids.

    I spent the next eternity dodging claws and mandibles and throwing fire into the maws of the hellspawn around me.

    Suddenly, it was over. No more ravagers lived. Most of them were extra crispy. Smoking and leaking a crusty ichor.

    I must have been a sight. Because the men on their weird animals were not exactly keen on getting close to me or throwing out words of thanks.

    I straightened up from my feral crouch raised my had towards the men and opened my mouth to begin a discourse.

    Which led to me getting a lungful of buggy smoke.

    Coughing, hacking, and spitting I walked out of the haze towards the men. That''s when my nerves hit me like a lightning bolt, and I vomited.

    The expressions of the poor men before ranged from disgust to fear. Not a single sign of friendship. They still had their weapons out and it was all I could do to choke out a strangled "Sorry." before I ran for it.

    I lost track of time and distance. That determination from this morning is long gone. I just kind of stumbled around blindly after my daring escape from possible friendship. It''s night now and I am just sitting hear really wishing that had gone better.

    Oh well. Next time, right?

    Goodnight

 Historical note: Wanted poster

    Wanted: Ray "Torcher" Thomson

    Crimes: Desertion, banditry, arson, larceny, and grand theft magi.

    By the order of the Aether Throne, anyone harboring or aiding and abetting this criminal will be found guilty of high treason.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Rewards: Alive, a barony or increase in noble rank up to Count and three hundred thousand aether stamped gold.

    Dead, five hundred aether stamped gold.

    Consider the criminal to be very dangerous and do not attempt to apprehend in an urban setting.

    Approach with extreme caution.

    All efforts are to be made to apprehend the criminal alive as the Crown wishes to interrogate the criminal.

 Regrets and rocks

    Hello again.

    Yesterday was such a mess. When you wake up all curled up in a sandy depression covered in your own crusty dried vomit. It''s a good sign of bad times.

    Ah, by depression I of course mean a dip in the ground I used as a makeshift bed.

    Though I will admit to feeling rather upset at how badly I had fumbled my first ever meeting with what could have been my own kind. Under all the clothes and shiny hats it was hard to really get a good look at them, but I do think they were smaller and darker than I am.

    Or rather than I was.

    All this time under the desert sun has given me quite a tan, highlighting the myriad of scars both old and new I have earned.

    Regardless, I messed up. I should have stayed and tried to talk even after puking. Why did I even run? Sure, they hadn''t exactly welcomed me with open arms but come on. I was a weird man screaming and on fire. Caution is only wise.

    Ugh, today I had a lot of time talking to myself, telling me what I did wrong. It was a good learning experience. I also learned that I am bad at public speaking. Lots of lessons yesterday.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    Panic makes fools of us all.

    Other than all the internal cringing at memories and recriminations I spied a change in the enviroment. Plants had started to show up. Bulbous things, engorged with conserved water in this dry place. They were tucked into the crevices of rock formations that had began to become more and more come as the day passed.

    The rocks had odd red colorings, rings and striations making beautiful dislays of the windblown stone. Soon the sand became small pebbles, then gravel. Until finally I was simply hopping across scalding bedrock and dirt amidst towers of stone. The bulbous plants became less common here. Replaced by hardy grasses and vibrant lichens tucked into shady corners.

    Dead thorny bushes rolled about as the wind cut through the gaps between the different rock formations. Making my day more interesting with impromptu games of ''dodge the thorny bastard bush''. As far as I could tell this place was devoid of life outside of those desperate plants clingin to shade and the occasional ugly lizard.

    Which, judging by the taste, were poisonous anyway. I would sometimes see a large bird soaring overhead, But all in all this place was more dead than the desert.

    The sun was reflected off of the stone, making even me sweat. And I don''t know if you''ve noticed but I have a very high heat tolerance.

    My days journey ended at a massive schism in the ground. A once mighty river had cut through the stone here. I can still hear the burble and rush of water from the edges of the canyon. By this point though the sun had begun to fall.

    A massive cliff on the other side of the canyon had obscured the fading days light altogether, plunging the area around me and the canyon below into shadow.

    I decided to rest here, and fly over the cliff tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Some things just wont burn

    Hello again. Today I made an enemy.

    First of all let me just say that a sunrise amidst the red rocks is absolutely stunning. The way the light is soaked in red and is carried through the area by the oddly shaped rock formations is crazy awesome. I didn''t know that red came in so many shades.

    Once the sun had risen enough to allow me to avert my eyes from the sight before me I set off into the air.

    By now I had gotten pretty good at flying. I tucked my poncho in my satchel and cradled that in my arms. My ankles sprouted little guide wings to provide support and some more control. And off I went.

    I first dove into the canyon. Marvelling at the beautiful layers of red colored rock and the wide rushing river that had cut through the solid rock. Coasting along the rivers course I followed flustered schools of tasty looking fish in the hopes one would jump out of the water and declare itself breakfast.

    Sadly no such friendly fishy came to be and I had to settle for one of a herd of hairy and horned critters that called the cliffsides of the canyon home. Snatching one while on the wing was a mistake though. I wasn''t prepared for the sudden jarring increase in weight and overcompensated nearly crashing headlong into the opposite side of the canyon.

    Interestingly enough the critter I had grabbed could spit some green gunk that caused the very stone to sizzle and melt.

    That didn''t save it though.

    After brekkers I decided to check out the cliff top. As I was making my way there I felt the winds shift. Looking up I stared right into the beady mad eyes of a monster bird.

    Damn thing was huge! Twice my size easily. I dodged wildly and the grasping talons of this feather fiend missed my sweetmeats by a hairsbreadth. Unfortunately, those same talons hooked onto the dangling satchel strap and yanked it from my arms.

    The devil bird made off with my satchel!

    Not having any off that I followed in dogged pursuit, blasting schorching flames and invectives at the bad birdy. My flames washed over the fiendish fowl.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    And to my shock and dismay it flew through unscathed. My flames just fell away from the silvery and incandescent feathers without leaving a mark.

    I swear the bird smirked at me.

    It took off and I followed in earnest, trying to think of some way to take it down. Punches and kicks seemed as futile as flames. The fluffy down under its shiny feathers absorbing any shock. I tried tackling a wing in the hopes of causing a crash but it just shook me off.

    On and on we went. Me harrying the blasted cheeky bird as best I could. Determined to get my stuff back. I may have been too weak to bring it down but it was too slow to escape me. Finally we reached its destination.

    A massive tree. Sitting in the midst of a grassy plain that I had been flying over this whole time to preoccupied to notice. Dozens of the blasted birds burst forth from their perchs amongst the branches. Angling to get a piece of me. I know when I''m outmatched so I gave off one last blast of distracting fire and dove to hide in the grass at the trees base.

    It took a while but the birds gave up the hunt. I watched carefully as the bird that had taken my satchel landed and hopped awkwardly to a large hole in the side of the great trees trunk. It entered and left without my satchel.

    I should probably mention that when I say this tree is big I mean it is absolutely humongous. Biggest tree I have ever seen. I don''t think a hundred of me could circle it with our arms outstretched. Nestled throughout its titanic branches were nests, containing silvery incandescent eggs fully as tall as I am.

    About halfway up the trunk was a deep hole cut into the tree. Which is where the bird had deposited my satchel.

    I waited until nightfall. Watching as all the nests were filled and all the birds fell asleep besides three that stood watch for predators. Keeping a careful eye on these sentry birds I slowly crept up the trunk, burning hand and footholds into the thick bark.

    Time passed and I nearly fell once or twice, and actually did fall once, but I had made it to the treasure trove of the birds.

    Birds have crap treasure by the way. It was mostly bug corpses and the occasional animal or other bird carcass. But the only thing this place needed to become a treasure trove in my eyes was my satchel.

    Obviously, I got the satchel. Otherwise how did I write all this eh? Once that was done I made my way back to the base of the tree and started to slowly burn my way into the heartwood.

    Once I had judged myself dee enough in the tree I gave it my all. Sending the hottest flames I could express blazing in all directions.

    Long story short, I burned down the blasted birds home. No eggs survived the tumble to the ground as the branches, now unsupported by the trunk, fell to earth.

    Revenge is best served blazing hot.

    I am tucked into a little grass covered hollow nearby, watching the distraught birds squawk and screech in dismay as their home, food surplus, and progeny all turn to ash.

    That is some crazy good catharsis.

    Goodnight.

 Kafizzle fruit

    Hello friendys. Today I was walking away from the dum-nogood-burds nest fire and saw me a pretty fuits. I eatz it and noww all the prety color came out to play. Some sniveligthefuvnjea cjadc. Ugh, My head hurts. Why WONT''T THE GROUND STAY STILL!!!!

    I''am sssso Alones.

    Superslithersayshello. Hellosuperslithers.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

    Its to cold. more heat.

    MOREHEAT!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH I BURNDE THE SLITHERZ

    I puked.

    Why do I keep killing things? THeyre judt like, wanderers likemme. SO why kill them?

    We should be one big family, of goatz, alwyas running on the cilffs of life. Together we are herd, alone we are hurt.

    I cant move my legs, and its all slimy.

    The stars are dancing, Twinkle twinlke I see the dance, so far obove its like an trance. Wish I was up there with you, Instead im down here and need to poo.

    Nighynight.

 Hangover

    Ugh. Hi.

    I woke today up hip deep inside the mouth of a massive slither.

    I am covered in spit, venom, shit, and puke.

    Good morning to me.

    In addition, my head freaking kills, and I am covered in bug bites and stings.

    And I am naked again.

    *sigh*

    What happened?

    Looking at my journal entry from last night I guess I ate a fruit of some kind?

    The "superslither" must be the poor beastie that tried to eat me. With notably poor results.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Following the blatantly obvious path I burned through the tall grass in my mindless frenzy I found my clothes and supplies again.

    I also found a massive hive of stinging insects I seem to have stomped on.

    That explained the bug bites and stings.

    Why didn''t a swarm of biting stinging bugs warrant even a single word in my journal?

    Backtracking further I find a likey culprit of yesterdays loss.

    A large yellow fruit. Shaped vaguely like a pair of clasped hand and covered in very fine hairs.

    Why would I even try to eat this thing?

    I name it the kafizzle fruit. Because when you eat it, all your plans go up in smoke.

    I like it. The name, not the fruit. I''m never eating that again.

    Ever.

    I spent the rest of the day trying to find a river to clean all the crud off of me. I had no such luck and had to settle for burning it off.

    I know I get just as clean, if not cleaner, when I bathe in flame. But nothing is as relaxing as a soak in clean water. And I could use some relaxation.

    I may have overreacted with those birds the other day.

    Oh yeah, what am I gonna call those anyway?

    Well, they don''t burn. So maybe Firebane birds? Or... Big shiny bird who doesn''t burn? BSBWDB... Basbawodobe?

    EIther or I suppose.

    Its late, I''m tired, and I didn''t get anything done today.

    I think I hate getting kafizzled.

    Goodnight.

 Rain check

    Hello again. I am starting to hate these grassy plains.

    First, an inflammable bird steals my stuff. No biggie, burn it.

    Then, a fruit kicks my ass for two days. That was hard to swallow.

    And now? Now I just feel like every single living organism on these plains is out to make my day a misery. Even the weather is in on it! Its been raining heavily since midnight.

    I hate the rain.

    My fire doesnt like getting wet, and this stupid poncho and skirt chafe like you would''nt believe. My hips and neck to shoulder region look like raw meat. Thats not mentioning the mud. Some stupid animal went and tore up a bunch of the sod, and I was to busy trying to get a stupid bug out of my eye to notice it.

    Mud baths are not recommended,

    Speaking of stupid bugs, there was this fat fist sized one. Pretty blue-purple-green shell and wings. And a fingerlength stinger. I was busy watching the pretty bug that I didn''t react when it landed on my arm. Little bugger stung me!

    My tingle are dampened in the rain. They just want to cluster in my chest and stay there. So trying to heal that sting didn''t work out as planned. So my left arm is numb and swollen. Seriously, there is a lump the size of my fist growing and pulsing on my arm. I hate it.

    Then let us not forget the slithers. That "superslither" kafizzled me wrote about? Yeah, that was a baby. One of many might I add. Me without my flames I have had to get creative with my killing. Did you know slithers don''t like being beaten over the head repeatedly with a rock? Fun stuff.

    The rain does do a good job of hiding my scent and form from them though. Once I got out of the slither nest area I figured it''d be easier.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    I was wrong.

    Grunters. Stout, fat, sturdy beasts. With wicked sharp tusks, and very stabby horns on their upturned and flat snouts. They are mean, grumpy, ugly, stinky, and irrefutably nasty beasts. They make loud grunts, hence the name, and squealing sounds before they charge you. They hit like a falling tree. Did I mention they are as tall at the shoulders as I am?

    I saw two of them fighting over something. They smashed into each other so hard that all the rain on or near them was sent flying in all directions. I was in one of those directions. When I was stumbling away trying to get some grunter water out of my eyes I stepped into something squishy and warm.

    It was manure, dung, poo, shit. And there were heaps of it. Imagine slipping and finding yourself arm deep in a pile of crap. It is not a fun experience.

    I found out how hard grunters hit personally shortly after that. A sneaky squealer snuck up behind me and next thing I know I am flying and my back hurts.

    Again, no fire. No tingles. Not so much as a spark.

    I HATE THE RAIN!!!

    I landed in some nice soft spring plants, and the grunter snorted and grunted at me but eventually ran off. I found out why almost instantly. Those plants I had landed in were poisonous. Patchs of my arms, back, and most of my legs are now red, puffy, and itchy.

    As if that wasn''t enough. My screams of impotent rage woke a nest of those same blasted stinging insects from my kafizzled day. I guess they must be rather common around here. Something to look out for.

    I fled through the poisonous itch grass, hounded by a swarm of stingers, right into another pile of crap.

    Silver lining, the stingers hate the rain nearly as much as I do, and quickly left me alone.

    So, lets see here. Bugs, slithers, grunters, shit, mud, and itch grass. What am I missing? Oh yeah! The spike croak.

    The spike croak is a smallish green-grey critter. Only about the size of my hand. It lies around, not moving much. Its slimy skin soaking in the rain. Ad if you step on one it lets out a rumbling croak, and a sharp barbed spike erupts from its previously lumpy back.

    I stepped on one.

    I managed to weave some taller grass into a makeshift shelter. It is here that I sit. Back aching, arm throbbing, soaking wet, covered in a unfortunate amount of mud and manure, with rashes on my limbs, a spike through my foot, and I am just plain sick of these plains.

    Goodnight.

 Fire rises

    Hello again. You know that those moments when everything seems so bad? Those are the times when even a small thing going right can turn the tide.

    And when tides of fortune turn, they can cause a flood.

    When I woke up today it was in misery. The sun had not yet risen, and I was not willing to wait for it.

    You see, the rain had ceased. My tingles were once again mine to command. I really need to find a way to combat the rain in the future, or cease relying on my flames so much. This was a teachable moment. If you only have one trick, when that one fails you are left scrambling.

    Lucky I have two tricks. Fire and bludgeoning. They''re good tricks, and have served me well. But I feel it might be good to expand upon them. A weapon would have been useful yesterday. And some form of mobile and camoflaged shelter would have kept me safe and dry.

    Something to work towards.

    Back to my tale. I welcomed the cessation of the rains will a brilliant attempt at molding a giant flower out of flame. It looked like a stick of fire with a misshapen blob of fire on top. I was going for more of a delicate thorned stem with a gorgeous array of firey petals in varying shades of red.

    Something else to work on for the future.

    My morning fireworks completed I moved on to first aid. Buzzes banished the rashes and chafing from my skin. Licks of flame devoured the mud and muck from my person and clothes. Bruises and aches were washed away amongst a gentle flow of tingles across my back and ribs. The spike through my foot was consumed in fire, and the resulting hole packed and sealed with more of the same.

    It was only when I focused on my bug stung arm that I came across any real trouble. Something inside my arm was fighting my tingles. Something alive. It would seem that what I previously took to be swelling was actually some critter growing inside my arm. No doubt deposited there by the blasted insect that stung me.

    Taking a small shard of rock I carried in my satchel for cleaning game and the like i cut open the swollen area.

    Flames gushed out on my command, but whatever was in there was proving resilient to them. So I had to remove it by hand. Digging into an open wound for a mystery parasite is absolutely no fun at all. Especially when its your own wound.

    I flexed my left arm muscles to hold whatever it was in place and cut deeper. Once I hit something besides muscle and blood I ran the stones edge across it three times. To make sure i could get my fingers around it. Dropping the stone tool to the ground I worked my fingers down into my arm and around the writhing whape therein. After way to much wriggling and pain I managed to get a grip on the thing.

    Yanking it out of my arm I saw a fat pale worm. With a sturdy outer shell and some black mandibles snapping madly at the air. I crushed it into the earth and stomped it into mush, burning the remains for good measure. Then I sealed the wound I had made, and passed out.

    When I woke up again it was to sunshine and blue skies overhead.

    I just lay there for a while. Staring at the benevolent sky and enjoying being whole again. Cleaning off the blood and collecting my trusty little slicer I stood up and stretched.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    A glance around showed me more of the same tall grass with the rare tree in three directions. However, to the fourth lay something else entirely. A tower. Lumpy looking, even from a distance but a clearly unnatural construct amongst these plains.

    Making the tower my heading I set off towards it. Yesterday the curtains of rain must have hidden it from my eyes.

    Along the way I took great pleasure in roasting a whole grunter for lunch and burning down a whole great patch of the itch grass. I made sure to avoid the smoke. Who knows if that would carry the poison as well. Breathing in possibly poisonous smoke was not something I was keen to do.

    Side note, flame roasted grunter goes really well with the tart juice of a small green berry growing on a low bush around the base of the odd tree that dotted the plain. Its a nice combo of savory and sour.

    Some time and burnt antagonistic critters later I could make out the lumpy tower more clearly. Small holes scattered seemingly at random all over it. I could see movement at the base of the tower and around a few of the bigger holes but couldn''t make out what was moving just yet.

    I got closer and saw bugs. Giant bugs.

    Ugh.

    Why do I keep running into freaking giant bugs!? Is there something wrong with me that just makes bugs come to me and leads me into their nests? Cause if so, I hate it.

    These ones are even freakier than most. They come up to about my thigh and have a pale tan brown exoskeleton. The darkest part of them are their black shiny sharp looking mandibles placed o the front of a bulging and almost comically oversized head. No eyes break up the smooth sickly brown shell of their head and smallish antennae wave wildly about in the air.

    I figured with their lack of eyes I could just walk around the colossal construct which I now knew to be a bug nest. How''d they even build that anyway? Regardless I was sneaking away when a wayward tower bug came barreling out of the grass right at me. So I burned it. And it popped.

    I was soaked in this nasty, stinking, grey green goo. And every single tower bug I could see lifted its head, and pointed its eyeless face at me.

    I ran.

    Hordes of these horrid insects were dogging my every step.The more I killed the more came bursting from the tower practically frothing in rage. Eventually I was surrounded and in my desperation I had an idea. The tower is riddled with holes right, and these bugs are coming out of those holes. Meaning those must lead somewhere. Making them tunnels. Tunnels are very good at limiting approach options. So I made the possibly smart decision to flee from the bugs, directly into their own home.

    Genius.

    Well, the good news was that I was right. There were tunnels running through the tower, and they did limit the number of bugs that could come at me at once. The bad news however, was twofold. One, these bugs could dig. It didnt take long before they started to come fromabove and below my defensive position in the tunnels. And two, the tower was flammable. After I got re-surrounded I panicked and shot fire wildly in all directions. Some of those flames stuck to, and took of on the walls and tunnels around me spreading fast.

    Now, normally I wouldn''t really be bothered by being surrounded by flames. I would just kick back, relax, and listen to the hisses and screechs of my burning enemies. However, I still need to breathe. In this enclosed space the fire sucked all the air from the tunnels to fuel its rise and I was left with gasping lungs.

    In my desperation for fresh air I made a new move that I have decided to call the "Super awesome flaming wing drill of screaming wind" basically I just fly straight up while covered in flames and spinning as fast asI can. Doing so I drilled through the tower floor by floor spreading fire and fun as I went. By the time I burst out of the top half the tower was in flames and they were spreading rapidly.

    All the insects were inside. I regret nothing.

    I walked off a ways and just watched the fire for a while. Munching on an unwise critter that thought I was dinner.

    The hissing and popping of the tower insects was just starting to die off when the tower crumbled, no longer having the internal structures to hold its own weight. I headed off, putting the plume of dust and ash behind me.

    Now I sit, under a clear night sky. Looking back, today was a good day.

    Goodnight.

 The long ears of friendship

    Hello again. Today I found something adorable.

    When I woke up I had a big comfy stretch. The massive fight and blaze of yesterday have worked out the last of the wrinkles in my mood from the previous days rain driven luck. Carnage is calming you know? Feeling like the king of the world I set out on my way with a cocky strut.

    Naturally, the world likes to knock me over when my head gets too big. A twisted bunch of grass caught my foot. Bringing me down to earth in the most literal way possible. Once I got back up I set off again. More cautious of the worlds caprices this time.

    I didn''t get far before the grumbles in my tummy sent me scouring for food. The glowfruits were still in my satchel from all that time ago, but I was hesitant to eat something that messed with my tingles more than necessary. Plus, whenever I would think off eating them I would feel a sense of fullness. Not from my guts but from my gut you know? LIke I had already eaten all I could of that particular foodstuff. I found a few sour berries but that was it. Whether the tower bugs had chased everything near their territory off, or the fire had sent them running I don''t know.

    So it was that I found myself searching ardently for animals to invite to breakfast. I had no luck for what seemed like forever. Then I saw a wake in the grass. Something was moving! And things that can move can be eaten.

    So I sent a blast of fire at the grass around the movement. The grass burned away leaving an absolutely adorable critter looking confused but oddly unharmed in its midst. I scooped up the dazed little critter to get a better look.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    The first thing I noticed was its color. Bright shades of red and orange interplayed and faded into each other along the cuties thick fluffy coat. Then there was the ears. Long fuzzy ears rose high from its fuzzy head. Intelligent blue eyes met mine above a little twitching pink nose. A little ball of firey fluff decorated its posterior.

    Curious how this cutie had survived my full blast fire attack I whistled up a little fire into its face. It sat there in my arms, unfazed for about a second before it gave a particularily violent twitch of the nose and sneezed adorably. Sending a gout of flame right back into my face.

    How cute was that! The little fellow mimicked me!

    I lost track of time as we just stood there blowing fire at each other. Finally My stomach gave my brain a kick and I came out of the cuteness fueled fugue. I briefly considered eating the firefluff, thats what I called it, before giving up the idea as morally wrong. We were birds of a feather. So I plopped Julius the firefluff on my head and off we went to find some lunch, it was to late for breakfast.

    The rest of the day was a happy romp from one meal to the next. Julius turned up his nose at the grunter I cooked for lunch but I fished out one of those glowfruits from out of the satchel. The fruit was larger than the diminutive firefluff but he had at it with a determined squeak, the light of conquest in his eye.

    Later, I cradled the twitching critter with delusions of granduer and a swollen stomach, and put the two thirds of the glowfruit remaining back in the satchel. I had a few dozen of the things still so I guess I wouldn''t have to worry about finding him another food source for a while.

    Other than that today was largely uneventful. I got to know Julius and walked. I killed anything that attacked me and burned every hive or patch of poisonous plants I saw. I found a few kafizzle fruit, and tucked them into the satchel. Just in case I ever want to ruin somethings day.

    Now I lie under the stars again. My new friend resting on my stomach.

    I am glad I am not alone anymore.

    Goodnight.

 Whistle while you walk

    Hello again. Today was lots of fun.

    When I woke up I was alone. I shot to my feet in a panic, half convinced already that Julius had left me. Fortunately he was just behind me. Burning a small but colorful slither and nibbling on a bush.

    Once he saw I was awake he hopped over and flicked his ears at me. Much cuddling ensued.

    He is just so cute!

    I fed him some more glow fruit and we went on our way. Me walking through the thigh high grass, Julius flopped lazily across my left shoulder.

    As we traveled we must have entered yet another beasts territory as the grunters had vanished. Shame that, they really were very tasty. Instead we found the grass was nibbled down to ankle length and swarms of fist sized longlegged hoppers bounced about everywhere.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    One of them flung itself right at my face. I whistled up a blast of fire and blew it away. Seeing this Julius gave an odd staccato series of squeaks and then he let out a sharp whistle himself sending another streamer of fire at a different hopper and burning it from the sky.

    That is literally how we spent the rest of the day. Walking and whistling and burning our way through the hopper infested short grass. I have never known such fun.

    After a while we started to compete over most hoppers caught in a single whistle. I won with 32 to Julius'' 28. Then over who could make the most interesting shape with their flames. I made forests and streams, Julius made packs of grunters and even a fire rainfall. He won that round.

    We competed over speed of fire, rate of fire, heat of fire and even sound of fire. I had faster flames, but Julius could put out more per heartbeat. My flames burned hotter and longer than his, but his whistled flames could drown out my own.

    I think mine sounded nicer though. His were just loud.

    Eventually the only lights were the stars above and the corpses below so we settled down for the night.

    Munching on some leftover grunter and blowing the ocasional friendly flame blast at each other.

    My face hurts from all the smiling I did today.

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: Angus Journal

    Comm. Angus Brimstone Brimstone brigade.

    Report on subjugation request of unknown fire type monster''

    6E. 24/7/179

    Two weeks of slogging through these bloody cursed lands. And what do I get for my trouble?

    Not a blasted damn thing!

    We found the forest fire, and the feral gnomes all toasty in their homes. Most of the rookies spent the next while vomiting up their guts. But from there? We flounder through a river towards an old patrol campsite in the general direction we figured the fire starter had headed. When we got there one of the pit trap defenses had been blown to pieces! Absolutely cratered. Took half the camp with it.

    Dunno what caused that but it must''ve been one heck of a blast. Us Brimstone clan members know our explosions, and one that could cause a crater like that is unusual. Something was in the pit. That something managed to put out ridiculous amounts of kinetic force extremely quickly. Thats an explosion. No sign of chemical residue. Just scorched earth beneath a new pond.

    I can''t wait to meet and beat whatever caused it.

    As if having to clear and set up defenses away from the new pond werent enough there was a whole worker group of butcher bugs rampaging about the area. After we put them down it was pretty obvious what had driven them mad enough to attack an entire brigade of 200.

    Some sadistic freak had burned off the poor monsters antennae. Butcher bugs are pretty much blind. Every single sensory organ they have is inside those antennae. Imagine if someone burned your eyes, ears, tongue, and all your skin off all at once. The only thing these guys could feel was pain with a very blurry sight from their near vestigial eyes.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Just terrible.

    We will spend the next few days looking for the creature that crippled the bugs and blew up the pit. I don''t know if they''re the same creature but I hope not. Something both strong enough to wreck the old campsite and mean enough to purposefully cripple a work group of butcher bugs without killing them is terrible to imagine. All the more reason to find and destroy it I suppose.

    .....

    6E. 29/7/179

    Got a messsage from command today. Some crazy fird bird feral they had never seen before crashed into the barrier not to far from our location. They want me to capture it or secure the carcass for study.

    Damned of I know why they want it though. Anything stupid enough to hit the barriers is hardly worth note as far as I am concerned.

    It''ll take us a few days to reach the estimated crash site. We have to swing wide around the territory of a Gilgamesh turtle. Old beast has been hunting those waters since before the heroes tomb was built.

    .....

    6E 30/7/179

    We were setting up camp near the deserts edge. Roughly a days march from the target crash site. When suddenly the desert began to glow.

    I can scarcely believe it myself. I had left most of my troops to continue canvasing the forest in search of the original mission target. So I only had two squads with me. 20 dwarves tried and true. And not a one of us had ever seen anything like this.

    As time passed and night fell the glow became clearer and brighter. Unable to resist I sent a dispatch to command and set out into the desert to slay my curiosity.

    It started to get hot after about an hour. By now the horizon was bright as day. The dunes caught the unusual angle of light and threw it into twisted mountains and monsters across the sand.

    Pretty quick after that all manner of critters came. Giant locusts and lizardfolk came streaming over the blazing sands.

    We set up a circle of shields and blades and were weathering the storm fine until a sandwyrm breached right in the middle of our formation.

    Three dwarves were eaten but we killed it and recovered them alive from its gullet.

    I ordered a retreat. No point in dying for a whim.

    As we fell back, I saw a fire ball. Not like a sphere of fire but like a formal dance made of fire.

    I sent a report to command and was ordered to return for a mental health exam.

 We meet again

    Hello again. Today I had a new run in with an old enemy.

    After waking up and feeding Julius and myself some brekkers we set off againon our merry way.

    Time passed and aggressive critters were made extra crispy. I had decided in my questionable wisdom to teach Julius how to fly. I guess I could just carry him around, but what if those nasty don''t-burn birds attack me and he falls? I shudder to think of it. How better to teach than a live demonstration?

    I scooped him up from where he was investigating a particularily suspicious bush. It looked pretty shady.HA!

    .....

    *cough* moving on.

    I scooped up Julius and took flight. His panicked squeal of sheer terror slowly morphed into a scream of joy and excitement. I could feel a smile stretching my face as the wind pulled tears from my eyes. Spinning and spiraling through the morning sky.

    I do love to fly.

    I showed Julius my wings and he picked up the idea pretty quick. There were some differences though. I had massive feathered wings of crimson and gold flame, with smaller darker red hind wings on my ankles. Julius seemed to take inspiration from the hoppers we had been blasting yesterday.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    Vivid red insect wings buzzed happily from his fluffy back propelling him lazily through the air in swirls and loop-de-loops. He bumbled about for a while until, seemingly disatisfied with his speed, his little round fluffball tail twitched twice and then ignited. A high pitched squeak and a trail of hot air was all that remained to be seen as Julius rocketed off into the horizon.

    In a panic I took off after him, but his lack of control and sheer speed made catching him extremely difficult. He would randomly make large and small swoops and spirals. Shooting up into the sky and plummeting back down towards the ground. Jinking and kinking through the sky with no warning. Finally after an extended display of acrobatic excellence I had my prize. A very excited little buddy who, judging from his twitching ears, was very keen to have another go.

    It was at this moment, while looking down at my friend and companion and preparing a lecture of the safe methods of flight that I had a run in with an old enemy.

    Literally.

    The invisible wall from the desert. I careened off of the objecting surface and straight into the ground. Again. This is honestly very frustrating. Now that I am actually looking I can see the wall again just a short flight away, but beyond my reach with this annoying thing in my way.

    I spent the rest of the day trying to lecture a very uninterested Julius and soothe the throbbing headache that one gets from testing the hardness of invisible wall with ones head.

    On a side note, the ''invisible'' wall is actually very pale green. I just keep being distracted and then not noticing it right when it matters most.

    Goodnight.

 New things go pop

    Hello again! Today I may have messed up.

    I woke up, had a good stretch, scratched julius behind his floppy ears, and ignited a new critter.

    I named this new find the Ugly-jumper. Ugly-jumpers are ugly, and they jump.

    They are squat, four limbed, slimy skinned, warty critters. They make a sound somewhere between a whistle and a burp. They come up to about knee high but they are very fat and heavy. Their front legs are small, barely able to hold up their large heads with the bulging eyeballs and gaping toothless mouth. But their back legs are very long and strong.

    They keep these long legs tucked up and under them and use them to propel their body through the air at surprising speeds. Its kind of like a super jump. One of these things came jumping at me, a sharp stick held in its forelimbs and angled to puncture my stuff I need. Like my guts and things. Another jumped Julius with mouth agape and swallowed him whole.

    Neither of them had long to regret that. They don''t taste good, but do make a satisfying popping sound when they explode.

    I followed the tracks of the ugly-jumpers to find more of them to pop. Their trail led me into a marsh. Unlike the other marsh I had been in this one had less water and mud. Rivers slithered through tall grass hummocks. The occasional sandbar and pool of water rested in the shade of large bush-like trees. Ugly-jumpers, longleg birds, and some fuzzy water critters that seemed very intent on making a wall of sticks were the majority of the critters. And bugs of course. Nothing a fire coat couldnt handle

    Julius hopped from the top of one grass hummock to another, blasting any ugly-jumpers or bugs that got near him. I tried to imitate him but kept slipping an falling into the mucky valleys between the hummocks.

    After blazing a trail for a long while we must have been nearing ugly-jumper HQ because their numbers started to really ramp up. After incinerating a dozen rather coordinated ugly-jumpers I heard screaming.

    Picking up the pace me and Julius found an odd village. Dozens of shallow pools containing slimy green-black orbs the size of my hand lay between low but wide mud huts. Ugly-jumpers crawled and jumped about moving from hut to pool and in the center of the collection of water and mud was a large group surrounding the source of the screams.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    A tall but skinny person, with long shiny gold hair and big teary blue eyes was surrounded by ugly-jumpers. He was waving about something very shiny and making a lot of noise. The ugly-jumpers seemed wary of the thing he was waving about but it was clearly only a matter of time until they swarmed him.

    So I burned them, I burned them all.

    Did I mention they explode when you burn then? Its really splooshy. The Screaming Man got a mouthful and started to retch and vomit. I left him to get himself in order and set about burning the huts and boiling the pools.

    When I finished I picked up Julius from where he was, idly nibbling on some grass while shooting the occasional fireball at the fleeing ugly-jumpers. I think he was enjoying watching his enemies flee before him in terror.

    Cuddling the fluffy Julius I walked over to the Screaming Man. He was still retching but when he heard me approach he straighten his back and hold his shiny out towards me

    "Halt, brigand! You stand before Prance Francis Rex Armitage! State your name and purpose!" He was shouting again.

    He shouts a lot. I don''t know what a prance is, but if they are all as weak and loud as this one then I think its surprising they haven''t all died out by now.

    I decided to try and be polite and start things off on the right foot so I reached out and grabbed the shiny he was offering me. It was sharp and cut into my hand and fingers. This is a terrible greeting.

    I instinctively started to send tingles to my hand to heal the damage. The shiny started to do something weird. It glowed and changed colors before it turned soft and dripped out of my grip onto the ground where it pooled and sizzled.

    The Loud Prance got thankfully quiet and with a small whimper his eyes rolled up and he collapsed. I didn''t know eyes could rolled back. I tried practicing that for a while but I don''t know how well I did since I can''t see my own eyes.

    Leaving the prance to rest I checked out the nearby area. The ugly-jumpers had a weird place. All kinds of berries and edible plants were gathered in one of the bigger mud huts I hadn''t managed to burn yet. Inside there was a new food I hadn''t seen before. It was a long red plant pod. It had a crunchy dull red shell that tasted good by itself, but inside were the true prize. one pod was maybe the size of my arm, and inside were these juicy pulpy sweet orbs.

    The sun was going down anyway so I decided to eat these for dinner and rest here for the night. I''ll try talking to the prance tomorrow. So far I am not impressed though, why was I so nervous about meeting such loud and weak things?

    Goodnight.

 Diplomacy

    Hello again. Today was awkward.

    I woke up when the Prance smacked me in the head with a branch.

    Not the worst thing that I''ve woken up to.

    I wasn''t to bothered by it, the branch was pretty soft and rotted. So I was only annoyed by the dirt that got in one of my eyes. Julius though, he was not amused.

    He sent a fairly tame blast of flame into the Prances face. Once he stopped screaming and managed to put his hair out I had to laugh.

    His formerly pale skin and long silky golden hair were no more. His face was bright red and he had no eyebrows. His hair was much shorter now, and very curly and coarse. It looked kind of like a bush.

    In short, he looked funny.

    I stood up and had a good laugh and stretch. Now the prance was looking at a puddle that reflected his new apperance in the dawning light. He was crying.

    I felt bad about laughing, but everytime I looked at him I couldnt help but to chuckle.

    "Stop shaming me you brute!" He shrieked, tears and snot dripping liberally from the appropriate orifices. "You should just kill me! I won''t be your next meal you disgusting cannibal!" I don''t know what a cannibal is. But it doesn''t sound like a good thing.

    From the context he thought I would eat him? WHY?!

    Ah, my hands and mouth were stained red from the red pod fruits I ate last night. Did he think that was blood? It looks nothing like blood though? Its too bright and the shade is all wrong. Plus its not all crusty. Does he not know what blood looks like?

    When I was trying to think of a way to respond that wouldn''t end with more loud screaming Julius took action. He also seemed annoyed by the loud noise so early in the morning. And I think he may have been offended by the tone of the words.

    Anyway, he set the poor Prances pants on fire.

    More screaming happened.

    Once he calmed down, and jumped into another puddle to put out the fire, we could inally sit down and start talking.

    It went thusly.

    I stared at him.

    He stared at me.

    I stared at him.

    He stared at me.

    I stared at him.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    His stomach grumbled.

    And so it was decided to postpone our talks(?) until after breakfast.

    I offered a red pod to him which he took gingerly and another to julius. I was kinda wary of showing a stranger the glowfruits. He sat there just blanky watching me and julius tear through a pod apiece before he finally starte to slowly and delicately nibble his. He flinched and muttered everytime some of the red juice dripped or spattered on his formerly white clothes.

    My own poncho had long since collected a lovely collection of stains dying it in a fine and dizzying slew of shades.

    Afte my third red pod I just sat and watched him try eat a messy pulpy juicy fruit wthout getting any on his hands, mouth or clothes. He wasn''t very successful, But watching his face contort and shift gave me another good laugh. I don''t think he appreciated the humor of the situation.

    After breakfast we sat down again.

    He started off by clearing his throat."*Ahem* We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot." I looked at my feet wondering which was the wrong one? "I am his royal highness, Prance Francis Rex Armitage. 13th in line to the waveborne throne. To whom might I have the pleasure of addressing?"

    "I dunno" I answered truthfully with a shrug.

    He sat there looking at me, I stared back. What? Was I supposed to say more. With a grumble I decided to mimic his own introduction.

    "Uh, I mean. I am the Wandering Prance Lie von Falseberg. Only successor of the Lost throne. Nice to meetcha?" I started with as much gravitas and confidence as I could muster. I thought I sounded trite and conceited, but Franny seemed impressed. His eyes widened and he started to sweat and mutter.

    This continue until I was worried I had broken him. But he snapped out of it and kind of bobbled his head and upper body at me, which I mimicked out of curiousity. This seemed to put him at ease and after that we started to actually chat.

    I learned he had been on an excursion into the fallen lands beyond the great barrier to acquire some experience and training in survival skills and live combat. Sadly, his entourage of guards and servants had been ambushed in the night by the tribe of Frogmen I had destroyed yesterday. Barely two days into his first ever adventure outside of the family lands and already his followers had been slain and he had nearly been killed.

    I guess ugly-jumpers are also known as frogmen. Thats a silly name.

    Anyway, he was not excited about his prospects of survival and begged me to help him return to civilization. I had nothing better to do so I agreed.

    I regret that decision.

    He would not stoptalking!

    Yappedy yappedy yap. All day long he chittered and chattered. Asking me questions about the lost throne which I evaded with silence.

    Questions about my flames and what methods I had used to reach such magnitude and control. I told him I just nearly died a bunch of times. Happily that shut him up for about five minutes.

    Then he was curious about Julius. Where had I bought him? How had I trained him? Could he pet him? What kind of creature was he?

    Julius actually let himself be held and pet for a little while before once more taking residence upon my head. That surprised me, but I suppose it was Julius'' way of apologizing for burning him. Twice.

    I had no idea people could talk this much!

    I took out my aggression on any dangerous critter who got too close. Franny kept being chased and almost eaten by things I had deemed harmless though. Assumptions can be dangerous it seems.

    Finally, all the running, screaming, and talking seemed to wear him down and blessed silence reigned for a short while.

    Which is when the complaints started.

    His feet hurt.

    His skin was filthy.

    Bugs kept biting him.

    He was hungry. But no thanks he wasn''t really in the mood for roasted swamp slither.

    Ungrateful wretch. I briefly thought of just leaving him and flying off. But I had given my word. And so I continued until finally both the day and his mouth closed.

    I lie here, enjoying the silence between Frannys tremendous snores and writing todays events.

    I can''t wait to be alone again.

    Goodnight.

 Peaceful day

    Hello again. Today was interesting.

    After enduring more chatter from the loud and annoying Prince (I found out I had been misspelling it, how embarrassing!) We had breakfast of some unlucky slithers, and a small but succulent swamp grunter that wandered into our camp after smelling the cooking slither.

    Following the vague and unreliable assertions of Franny. We followed what may or may not have been his trail back to the staging area.

    Apparently, it is something of a custom to send would be nobles and royals into the Fallen Lands to get some experience and put some into in their blood. I guess they must have lots of nobles and royals lying about, because if they are anything like Franny I reckon most of them die horribly.

    Anyway, they gather supporters and all that, and set off into the Fallen lands from staging areas. Places where they great barrier can be lifted temporarily.

    I asked about the great wall and was told that it was a historic relic. Used as point of national pride for all the lands bordering it. But it had long been unmanned and served no practical use.

    Shame that, its a really cool looking.

    Nowadays there are smaller more modern fortresses guarding the staging areas. I asked about what would happen if the barrier failed and Franny looked at me like I was stupid. I didn''t like that look so I nudged julius who napping on my head and he lazily engulfed the offending Princes head in flames again.

    Haha.

    After he calmed down and stopped smoking he informed me that long long ago some really smart people had somehow made the lands inside the barrier power the barrier. Words like leylines and corrupted element channels were thrown around. But once he started to get technical I stopped really paying attention and watched a small round fuzzy rodent with little wings hunt bugs overhead.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Cute.

    Long, long, long story short. As long as there is land inside the barrier the barrier will persist. It is also slowly purifying the land and the dangerous things inside are way fewer in number now then they used to be.

    Could have fooled me.

    Time passed as it tends to, though I do feel like it is going slower lately? And Julius went hunting through a likely berry patch for lunch while I was cooling my heels in a slow creek and ignoring the still talking prince.

    I did a really good job of ignoring him.

    So good in fact that I missed it when a large slimy thingy with whiskers came out of the creek and nabbed him by the head when he went to get a drink.

    I only noticed when some mud he kicked up hit me in the face. Luckily, or unluckily, the creature had no teeth, and I was able to extricate him fairly easily and intact.

    The creature had rather thick leathery skin so I steamed it after removing the organs. It had a strong taste, but not bad.

    Francis ate it in big angry bites. Taking revenge maybe?

    After lunch we followed the creek as it meandered slowly towards the wall.

    I showed Julius how to steam skate. He loved it.

    He bounced, skidded, and skittered across the waters surface. Leaving a steam trail and the occasional unfortunate underwater denizen in his wake. Aything that got in his way was burned through like a comet through the night sky.

    Most notably a very large and viscious slither like creature. It had no scales and was fatter and flatter than a slither, with two sets of teeth. One smaller set inside the other. It came bursting out of the water that seemed too shallow to hold such a bulky creature. Mouth gaping to swallow Julius whole.

    Julius went right down its gullet and just kept going until he burst out of its back.

    That was dinner.

    Francis had actually stopped asking questions by this point ,and was just gaping at us as he slogged and slopped through the wet sands and muds of the creek banks. I supposed we could have made better time if I carried him. But I didn''t particularily want to touch him you know?

    He was filthy and had started to really smell after lunch.

    He got really excited when he saw a distinctive stone and some old charcoal from his first campsite in the Fallen lands. We were close but the sun has going down so we decided to just camp there for the night ,and make an easy day of tomorrow.

    Stars are nice tonight.

    Goodnight.

 Civilization

    Hello again. Today I met lots of new people.

    Francis was right. We had been very close to the staging area. I didn''t even get the chance to kill breakfast before we reached it.

    The staging point was a platform of worn and splintery boards forming a dock of some sort leading out into a lake and terminating into a weird squiggle. This hazy air squiggles is apperently one of the few entrances and exits in the barrier.

    I didn''t see anyone guarding it but when we set foot on the dock three figures rose from the water.

    I say figures because they were person shaped things made of water with some nifty and sharp looking ice spikes where their hands should be.

    They were super intimidating and really cool. Julius and I tried killing them but they seem to have more water inside then they should. No matter how we burned them, no matter how much steam came from them. They didn''t diminish at all.

    How cool is that!

    They stabbed me a little before Francis managed to pull a doodad out from under his shirt, and blue light came from it calming them down. I can heal fine from just a little stabbing, so I forgive them.

    We passed through the haze and emerged into the most terrible place you can possibly imagine.

    People were everywhere. The amount of dust filling the air was matched only by sheer cacophony. I was bombarded with colors, sounds, smells, and even tastes I had never known before.

    Dioriented from this sudden shift I clutched Julius to my chest and crouched down before erupting up into the sky to get some space. Screams rang out behind me and I could hear Francis shouting something but I had to get away from all the noise, the smells, the crowd.

    Well, I tried anyway. I got stopped pretty quickly by a nice person with wings who took me to a poleese station and asked me some questons I forgot before offering me something amazing.

    Bread they call it. White, fluffy, tasty bread. You can put stuff in it, on it, or just around it. But its delicious all on its own too!

    I had filled my cheeks and satchel with bread by the time Francis came to get me. I guess I had told the Poleese about him?

    He had showered and his frizzy fun bush hair had been trimmed into a severe and cool looking close cut. Sad, I miss the frizz bush. At least he is still red faced and eyebrowless.

    He was accompanied by someone even louder and paler than he had been, with even longer pale hair. He said it was Sister.

    Sister tried to take Julius from me. A Poleese had tried that earlier too. Julius had protested when the beardy Poleese tried to grab him so I had punted the little beardy away. But Julius seemed much happier about being carried by Sister.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    He just sat in his arms and purred as he was petted and cuddled. I didn''t even know he could purr!

    After I stopped sulking jealously I finally noticed we had been walking for some time.

    Francis and Sister led us to a big blue building. Along the way we had to pass through a crowd or two, but I just stuffed bread in my ears and ignored the people who were staring.

    Quiet is worth some odd looks.

    Inside the blue building I took back Julius to mutual complaints from the new cuddle buddies. Bah, he''s my Julius you know?

    I was led to a place with slippery white floors. A bath I guess. I stripped down and soaked in the amazingness that is hot soapy water. Julius lazily bobbed next to my bath in his own little basin of hot soapy water.

    Once I got out I found my clothes gone. I had to threaten some people to get my satchel back. A quick look inside found it seemingly unmolested. All my bread and glowfruits were accounted for, and the journal obviously. My clothes had already been disposed of. That made me kind of sad. It had taken so much effort to make those. Even if they were ugly, itchy, poor-fitting, and filthy, they were mine. And now they were gone.

    Once the people inside the blue building gave me back the satchel they wouldn''t stop screaming at me to put on some clothes.

    If they don''t want to see it why aren''t they looking away? And they had already destroyed all my clothes.

    Weirdos.

    I found some new clothes had been laid out for me in the room next to the bath room. I had thought they were decorations with how so many sparkly things were on them.

    They were a long sleeved shirt, vest, pants, sash, and boots. The shirts was a bright crimson shade and had sparkles sprayed across the front and down the sleeves. The vest was a much darker almost blood red. With golden detailing of spirals and flames all over it. I really did like the vest. The pants were loose and unrestraining. With no flourishes and in a simple rusty red. The sash was yellow with black thread outlining flames along it. The boots were sturdy and supple black leather. Very nice.

    I tore off most of the sparkles on the shirt before wearing it. A sparkly person draws attention yeah? And things that draw attention get eaten. I should know. It''s how I decide on my breakfast.

    After I dresed I walked around looking for something to eat. I left Julius in my room though. He can protect himself and I didn''t want him getting lost in here like me. I followed my nose into a wonderful place. It was crowded, but I forgave it since it smelled so good. Inside there were droves of sweaty people running around stirring shiny cylinders and screaming at each other. I saw a roaring fire with a lovely looking dead thing spitted over it.

    I crept over to it as quietly as possibly. Then I grabbed it and a nearby bowl of frut for Julius and snuck back to where I had changed clothes. I had gotten pretty lost so it took me longer than I would have like. No matter, I can always heat up my meal yeah?

    Inside I saw Sister playing with Julius again. He seemed super happy so I guess I''ll let it go? I plopped the fruit down next to them and Sister started to feed him them without so much as glancing at me.

    I munched on the delicious meat and watched them play for a bit. Someone knocked on the door and asked if I would wish to join the young master for supper. I don''t know who that is, but I already have food so I turned them down.

    Sister left to eat and I scooped up the very satisfied and pampered looking Julius. Finding a comfortable corner to rest in I sat down and here we are.

    I think I will leave tomorrow. This place is noisy, and they throw away your things without asking.

    Though, the bath is nice, and the food place too...

    Hm. Well I''ll worry about that tomorrow I suppose.

    Goodnight.

 Duel? Duel.

    Hello again. Today I fought a duel.

    I don''t really know how it happened.

    Let us review.

    I woke up. I cuddled Julius. I opened the door to find food for breakfast.

    And that is when I was ambushed.

    Francis and Sister dragged me off despite my feeble starved protests and introduced me to Father Papa and Mother Mum. They both used a different name for the two old people so I am writing down both to prevent any mistakes.

    After meeting the old ones some food was wheeled in on some very shiny carts. Meats, fruits, and breads with a flight of juices to wash them down with. I ate with such gusto that the others stopped eating to just watch me in all my magnificence.

    I am proud to say I didn''t leave a single morsel. Though Julius helped some I suppose.

    The other people didn''t move until I gave a belch. At that point they all twitched and glanced at each other. Is this a custom? One of the food bringers had managed to somehow tuck a white cloth into my shirt. Saving it from any stains. That''s a neat trick that I shall remember.

    After that Francis suggested we walk off breakfast.

    He didn''t eat any though?

    Anyway, Francis, Sister, and I headed out back into the streets. They weren''t so busy today which was nice. The quiet let me take a undistracted look at the buildings around.

    The big blue building we had come from was blue, obviously. But the blues came in a long subtle shift of shade along the building. The exterior was all rounded edges and cylindrical towers with swoopy tops. They swooped out and then they swooped in to a point on the very top. They kind of looked like raindrops?

    Around this building was a high wall. The wall was black at the bottom and white at the top and between the two were countless shades of blue gradually leading from the one to the other. These were shaped like waves and a exploratory touch found they had been carved into the wall. The carvings were deepest on the bottom and uncarved on top. making the wall as a whole thicker on top than on the bottom. Which makes it hard to climb.

    Francis started to brag. Apparently the wall was all from a very rare and hard material from their homeland. And was carved by a grandmaster. Whatever that is.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    The other buildings around came in all colors you can imagine and some you really wish you couldn''t. One looked like a massive heap of bloody diarrhea. Seriously. WHY?!

    My favorite though was a building that looked like someone had managed to hack off the top of a mountain and transport it into the middle of a city. Harsh rugged stone jutted outfrom the ground in sharp angles and piled up to a peak.

    Around the base of this awesome structure is a swathe of soft green gras covering rolling artificial hills that sweep outwards from the mountains base. There is even a small river flowing down the mountain and through the hills. How cool is that?!

    We moved away from the colorful buildings and the crowd became thicker and louder until we reached a wide open space between buildings with some skinny trees and stunted bushes growing here and there. Julius gave a dismissive chirrup and I am inclined to agree with him. This was the sorriest excuse for a forest I had ever seen.

    As we walked down a path between the "trees" a strange thing approached. The thing looked like a person. But I wasn''t fooled. People don''t have hair like that.

    It was all UP! Not a single strand seemed to point to the ground. The ruddy locks instead reached for the sky.

    Julius and the strange thing began to bicker. Sister cuddled Julius and hid behind me. A good choice, Francis is too skinny to hide behind.

    I didn''t bother listening to whatever they were saying. Too fascinated by the way the Oddities agitated posturing caused his hair to shake and sway. I kept my eyes peeled. Determined to find the first hair to give up and fall. Francis slapped me on the back and said something. Sister made noises of agreement so I gave a grunt. It must have been taken as some kind of affirmation as we started to move afterwards.

    The Oddity led us to a large building with a large open space with sand on the floor in the middle. He walked to the middle. Chasing off the people already there. No doubt they were intimidated by his hair.

    More words were said and I was pushed into the sandy area. Another person came out and said more stuff but I wouldn''t take my eyes off of the hair. There was a nice long pause for a while. Then I felt Francis give me another smack on the back so I grunted obligingly.

    The Oddity grabbed something shiny from his waist and estended it to me. I grimaced, remembering how unpleasant this greeting was when I met Francis. Still, I endeavored to be polite and reached out to grasp it as I assume is the custom here.

    Next thing I know the Oddity has stabbed me! Right through the guts. A lot of sound exploded from the crowd around the sand place. The Oddity had frozen and was staring at the wound he had made.So I punched him in the face while he was frozen. He dropped like a bludgeoned grunter, and then the place got even louder. His hair was still up. So I squatted down next to him, ignoring the grinding of the sharp shiny thing against my ribs and fiddled with his hair. Trying to pull it down, but it just popped right back up. Weird!

    I was led away by Francis into a small room where a bunch of noisy people got noisier when I pulled the thing from my guts. They got all quiet when I healed it though.

    I wasn''t feeling very good. Kind of dizzy and tired, and all the people and noise wasn''t helping so I asked Francis if we could go back. He called a box with spinning legs and we were carried back inside of it. I dozed off on the way and woke up long enough to walk to my room and write down todays events.

    Francis came by a little bit ago and congratulated me for my "stunning and heroic victory" in a duel.

    Whats a duel though?

    The more I talk to him the less I understand.

    Goodnight.

 The Price of Peace

    Hello again. Today I learned that it is important to know what is going on before agreeing to anything.

    When I woke up it was long before sunrise. I guess if you fall asleep with the sun still up you wake up with it still down.

    Julius and I decided to explore the big blue place some while we had the chance.

    Like the exterior, the inside of the big blue building were made of flowing curves and sweeping corridors. All in whites and ivorys. A dark blue carpet covered the middle of the floor in the corridors. Handidly muffling the sound of footsteps.

    The entrance led into a large hall. With doors to the left right and front. The left led to the food room. The right led to a place full of beds with people in them. This place also stank of sweat.

    The door to the front led into a massive room with a titanic table dominating the middle of it. Decorations and shiny things glittered on the wall and the ceiling here. A balcony traveled along both sides of the room. And the far side of the room from the doorway was all blue glass. Designed to look like a storm at sea with a few small golden boats caught in the waves. It glowed in the moonlight casting an eerie soft blue color over everything inside.

    Quite lovely.

    Back in the entry room. On either side of the door leading to the blue glass room were stairs. They swept grandly to the left and right respectively. Meeting at a railed platform overlooking the entryway just above the doors to the blue glass room.

    The platform was attached to a corridor running left to right and with four more doors in it. Two of the doors let one out onto the left and right balconies respectively, and the other two were at either end of the corridor. The door to the right led to yet another corridor with my room and several other empty ones like it running its length. The door to the left led to a nearly identical corridor only with fewer rooms that harbored Francis, Sister, Father Daddy, and Mother Mum.

    At the end of these corridors were another door leading outside onto a moonlit deck overlooking a water garden. Small aquatic animals swam through the roots of water plants, and bunchs of water grasses slowly swayed under the crystal clear liquid. Hardly a ripple shook the surface, and the moon was reflected clearly on it.

    I sat on a small stone bench and watched the garden until the sun had risen.

    Then I went for some breakfast. I was spotted by a nice but angry person and scolded harshly for snatching the lamb from the spit the other day. Then they gave me something called a dumpling and told me to just ask if I am hungry next time.

    I was sitting on a bench overlooking the water garden, and blissfully munching on the dumplings with Julius doggedly chewing his way through a massive edible orange root when Francis found me.

    I guess the water garden is the product of Sisters hard work for years. I will have to reevaluate him now. If he can make something like this then he isn''t nearly as useless as I had thought.

    Once again Francis urged and prodded me into the crowds. Ugh. Why does he like it out here so much!

    We made our way to a small building and went inside. Thankfully it was much quieter inside. Though it was still crowded. Young people in colorful garb strutted about in small packs chittering like Julius whe he''s hungry. Sister was already there and they quickly took custody of Julius and carried him off into the currents of coats and skirts.

    My protests were futile and ignored.

    I grumbled some and made my way over to a table holding what smelled like food. Along the way some of the more colorful people deliberately bumped into me. Still a little peeved with the abduction of Julius I was in a bad mood and they all made way after meeting my eyes.

    Behind me I could hear disapproving mutters but if they can''t bother to say it loud and clear then I can''t be bothered to care.

    Once I reached the food I saw the Oddity from yesterday again. It had a marvelous purple chin today. Its hair was still up though. Saying hello I proceeded to fumble some food into my hands before I continued to stare at its hair. The bit of forehead I could see was getting redder and redder. And I saw a vein bulging beneath its skin. How interesting.

    I had noticed it was getting louder around me but I assumed it had nothing to do with me and ignored it.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    I was wrong.

    Somehow I found myself once again in the sand place standing across from the Oddity again. This time he had friends though. A beardy holding a shield as larger as he was. A wing person with a bent stick with a string on it. A tall hairy person with a very large shiny club. And a short and very lumpy person wearing all white and holding a knobby stick.

    Standing in front of them was the Oddity. A shiny stick similar to the one I kept yesterday in one hand and in the other a sad looking fireball.

    If they were teaming up then so was I. So I took Julius back from Sister to mutual protest which I magnificently igored and plopped him on my head.

    The oddity and its team looked very angry except the lumpy one who was just staring at Julius with shiny eyes.

    I had figured out by now that we were going to fight so I decided to start this time.

    Using a burst of fire from my left foot I charged the shield beard and using Julius'' rocket flight technique I kicked him right in the shield. He flew away.

    Next I spun in a circle and clasped my hands before jumping up and bringing them down of the big hairy guys head. He brought up his club to block, but I just hit it anyway.

    My hands hurt but he got buried.

    The wing person flew up and put another stick against his bent stick. Then he pulled and somehow the second stick came flying at me super fast!

    Julius was faster though. He rocketed off my head directly into the wing persons guts. Neither of us had killed anyone yet as it didn''t seem like that was the goal here. Plus I had tried wih the big hairy guy and some kind of force had stopped my blow from being lethal. Barriers are super annoying.

    The lumpy one was gaping at Juluis in midair so he did and encore and smacked lumpy into the sand with a kick.

    In a fit of amusement I let the Oddity hit me with his fireball. It burned off my shirt and vest, shame, but it wasn''t even hot! So I punched him on his purple chin and took the shiny stick as another souvenir.

    Francis was laughing and he went into this whole long speech about knowing your place which I ignored. He is super loud you know?

    I was sick of all this. It is time I move on.

    I helped carry the Oddity and his team to the place with the noisy white clothed people and some guy handed me a pouch of very heavy and shiny discs.

    A reward I guess? I left Francis gloating and headed into the crowds. Lots of people were pointing at me and I realized I had no shirt on again. Whatever. I asked around for a place to get stuff and a nice old person led me to a thing called a general store. Inside were lots of things and Julius and I went happily looting through the store.

    I grabbed another set of clothes in drab greys and browns that I couldn''t burn. Took me a while to find them. After I burned the first dozen outfits or so a crying man pushed them into my hands. I thanked him. It is important to be polite.

    I also found a sharp shiny thing called a knife I used to replace my stone slicer. A thing called a tent to protect me from any more rains as well as a cloak in case I got caught by surprise. The nice man immediately handed me a fire proof one. He is very nice.

    Julius found some little hollow metal balls that make a pleasant chiming sound. I took some leather strips and made him a little necklace with them hanging on it. Eveytime he hops they chime and if he wants to he can sit up on his hind legs and bat at them with his front ones for fun. I also made it so he can easily take them off if he wants too.

    I handed the nice man the pouch of rewards and he thanked me very loudly and pushed a pair of waterskins and a set of pots, pans, and cooking utensils on me along with a complimentary back pack to put all of them in. I handed back the backpack and just tucked them all into my satchel. He fainted.

    I then went back to the big blue house. Asked for some food and picked up the other sharp shiny stick I had kept after I pulled it from my guts. Gathering the food from the food room I left the big blue house and walked through the streets looking for a way out of this crowded loud place.

    I asked a poleese and they pointed me towards a tall thin building. Once I entered I noticed it was even more crowded inside then out. Large floating structures would drift over too the building and people and goods would leave them. Then more people and goods would enter the. I watched this happen a few times before I tried to go on one.

    A person in shiny clothes stopped me an said I would need a ticket and then pointed at the loudest most crowded place in the building and said I could get one there.

    Nah.

    Instead I snuck over to the place where they were loading the goods. The incoming and outgoing stuff was right next to each other. I found a nice big container that looked kind of comfortable and emptied its contents, which were sliver spheres with glowing red lines on them.

    In order to not be noticed I shifted the large number of spheres into a weirdly long narrow barrel. There was a spot that was clearly designed for loading the spheres. It even had pictures of how to do it.

    The first couple dozens were easy but after that I had to really shove and force them in. Little red lights started flashing here and there along the long narrow barrel. Finally, I managed to move them all over and made myself at home in the big container. I had to crouch and I couldnt straighten and of my limbs but it wasn''t so bad.

    Better than a crowd.

    I felt the container shift and bump a bit before it settled again. Figuring I had been moved I went to open the top. But it is stuck. I guess they put another box on top of mine? Oh well. I can wait.

    Suddenly I heard alarms and screaming. A sickening lurch from the world around me sent me careening around the limited space inside my box. I cradled Julius to my chest to keep from squishing him and after a while things settled down.

    BOOOOOM!!!

    A massive blast came from nowhere and everywhere at once. More careening happened.

    Things have settled down some now. Julius and I had some supper and now I guess I''ll get some sleep.

    Goodnight.

 Priorities.

    Hello again.

    I spent all day in this box. The bathroom situation is becoming dire and I have been doing my best to distract myself from that issue.

    Pretty much all I can do is play with Julius and think. I refuse to eat. That will only make things worse.

    Now that I have some time to think I have been noticing how stupid I have been acting. From the moment I crossed Francis'' path I have barely been thinking at all. Why would I help a loud weakling like that in the first place?

    Looking at my journals I said it was because I had nothing better to do. What? Maybe I could believe that if he had been charismatic or interesting. But he was just loud and annoying!

    If I had decided to use him to get past the barrier and then headed off on my own to investigate my past. Then maybe I could understand the first couple of days, but what about after that? I didn''t ask anyone anything! I just followed Francis around like a bad case of gas!You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    I let him lead me around and even fought someone I had no grudge against for no reason I am aware of besides Francis'' prompting.

    All this is very suspicious. Good thing I wandered off while he was gloating. I guess my lightfooted nature probably saved me from becoming his thug.

    I feel kind of bad for beating up the Oddity and his friends now. I even took two of the Oddities shiny sticks. Shame on me.

    This whole thing is kind of a wake up call. I have no idea how Francis was controlling me, but it seems outside of the fallen lands I can''t judge a danger from its size or fangs. I must be more careful.

    Next chance I get I am finding a way to ask who I am. How though? The poleese maybe? They seemed pretty knowledgable.

    If I ever see the Oddity again I will apologize, and if I ever see Francis again I am not sure if I will run or finish what Julius started.

    Another regret. The nice clothing man. I should have asked him for what I wanted rather than burning his stuff. And I wish I still had those shiny discs. They would make a fine distraction right now.

    I hope Sister wasn''t in on Francis'' scheme. I don''t like to think negatively of someone who can make something as pretty as the water garden. Julius liked him too.

    Then there was the huge boom after I got into this box. I have a feeling I may be somehow to blame for that. I hope no one was hurt by it, but judging from the sheer size of the boom I kinda doubt that.

    Now if you''ll excuse me I need to focus on not crapping my new pants.

    Goodnight.

 Stop it

    Hello again. I sometimes wonder if there is some kind off all powerful super being watching everything we do.

    If there is I would like to use this moment to make a single request.

    Before that though I suppose I will tell of the days events.

    First I spend a hellish night curled up and cramped. Trying not to pollute my limited space with my own waste.

    I barely slept mostly just drifting uneasily through a pained and sweaty fugue.

    When what I presumed was morning came around it came with a bang.

    Literally.

    My shelter was shaking and rolling around freely to a symphony of screams, odd gargly roars, and explosions. Worst music you''ve ever heard. No rythmn and very little harmony. I careened about inside my box. Richoceting painfully from one wall to another while curled up into a ball with a fluffy Julius center.

    It hurt. Quite a lot actually.

    Finally and perhaps unluckily my box shattered against a pillar, and I was free. Up and down got confused and detritus was flying everywhere. I was pummeled and beaten against the airborne trash and the hard walls, floor, and even occasionally the pillar.

    I stayed curled up until the world righted itself again. I could still hear screaming but it was much quieter and more pained than terrified. The gargling roars and explosions had entirely died off. Just as I was uncurling from my ball of fear and pain one final shuddering blast rocked the room I was in. Sending me on one more tour of the now familiar environs.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    Then it was quiet. Not a sound besides my own pained gasps and Julius'' displeased chitters.

    I lay there. I don''t know how long. Until the call of nature raised its ugly head, and sent me into the far corner of the room to release some pressure from my pipes.

    No longer willing to stay inside the soiled room I limped to the only door in sight. An oval shaped hatch with a spinning handle in the middle. I figured out the mechanism pretty fast. Just grab and twist. And with that I was free.

    Narrow halls with battered and still bodies littering them led me around the vessel I had snuck aboard. Equally narrow stairs led up and down. Below was water. And it was rising. So I went up.

    More bodies. Everywhere you cared to look and step.

    The smell was awful. Some of these poor people had burst open. It was no fun at all climbing the blood and gut slicked steps.

    Finally I reached open sky. More bodies. Most not people but horrible monsters seemingly just made of wings, teeth, and tentacles. Bits and shreds of... stuff was littered haphazardously about. Smoking craters and glowing streaks lit up the place as the sun had begun its descent.

    I stood there in a befuddled daze for I don''t know how long. Eventually I noticed that the floor was starting to tilt.

    Waking up from my daze I tottered over to the edge of the carnage. Careful not to step on anything. I failed in that. Looking outwards all I could see was water in three directions and a bit of land in the fourth.

    The land appeared to be the top of a mountain. Jutting from the waves in the middle of nowhere. Just plain dark stone. Uninviting and even foreboding, but I have no better options. By now there was over half the original space overtaken by water.

    I swam there. Dodging the growing collection of carcasses that bobbed about. The water is salty and not good to drink. Strange things swam around me occasionally getting closer that I''d like. Julius, who had been very quiet this whole time, blasted them from his perch on my back.

    Now I sit on a rocky beach watching the last of the wreck slip beneath the waves.

    Some of the nosy critters are my dinner and the stars are coming out to cast their gaze upon this night.

    So, to the all powerful super-being. I would like to say: stop it.

    Please?

    Goodnight.

 A Smile

    Hello again. Last night when I was sleeping I saw things.

    I have never seen things when I slept before.

    First I was back on that sinking thing. I was walking through the corpse riddled halls. Every single dead person was staring at me. As I walked past them their heads would turn to continue to following me with their gaze. Their cold cloudy dead eyes held so much emotion. Joy, fear, anger, shame, and they also seemed to be asking for something. A silent plea. For what I don''t know.

    Suddenly I was outside. Back on the top floor of the sinking thing. Overhead red clouds of bitter smoke went screaming into the distance. The dead here did not look at me. But rather glared at one another. Regret and rage seemed to form an aura around them. The clouds of emotion lifted their cold limbs and they split into two equal size parties and rush at each other. Mouths open in silent screams of rage.

    The ground shifted. Grass growing to cover everything and bulging up into hills and valleys of emerald splendor beneath the unchanging red skies. The dead with their silent cries became young men screaming out howls of rage and fear as their numbers swelled to cover the green fields. As they charged each other there appeared countless flashes of colorful light jumping between the two armies. Young men fell in droves. Their faces holding expressions of surprise and fear mostly. Some seemed angry at being cut down in their prime.

    A rare handful of the youths began to glow with all the colors of a rainbow. These ones led others and slaughtered droves of the unilluminated.

    I turned away from the slaughter. Unwilling to look at the bitter death of little more than children. As I turned I caught a golden glimmer from the corner of my eye. I spun to catch a closer look, but as I turned a large black fortress dominated my eyes. It rested upon a hill overlooking the lands of war behind me.

    The gates opened and a silent legion in black armor marched out in good order towards me. They made not a sound as they marched. The blank faced helmets hiding away any expression they may have been making. Their column approached me, and my feet started to move without my own will. As I approached the front runners of the black legion my hands rose, and roses of flame bloomed amongst them. Consuming them. As they burned they screamed as if to make their former silence a lie.

    I tried to turn. To walk away, to once again find that glimmer of gold I swore I knew, but everytime I tried more and more black legionnaires rushed at me. I cut them down faster. Burning them by the hundreds. rying desperately to recapture what I had lost. I started to run. Hoping to end this as fast as possible. I closed my eyes to their deaths and prayed their screams would deafen me and save me from hearing more.

    Finally, there was silence. I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it. Cold stone corridors seemed to be a macrabe mimic of the previous cramped hallways in the sinking thing. Corpses lay strewn about the floor and against the walls. blood dripped from the ceiling, running down the walls in rivers and pooling into sticky seas on the floor. Charred carcasses and hacked bodies littered what was clearly my path.

    My shaking hands were clenched onto the handle of something familiar. A similar shiny stick to the one I had taken from the Oddity a...sword?

    Yes, a sword. My sword. My hands shifted. No longer clecnching onto the hilt but cradling it in a comfortable and familiar embrace. Calluses from years of hardwork lining up perfectly along the warm leather wrapping the cold metal hilt. More enemies approached. Just more corpses for my nightmares.

    I killed for what seemed to be years. Becoming comfortable with the sight of death and the feeling of blood on my skin. I burned those who fled and cut down those brave enough to face me. Still I wandered this cold black fortress. I had forgotten what it was I sought but knew it to be here. The blood continued to pool and rise. Every life I take raising the level of the red seas ever so slightly. But bit by bit, inexorably, the sea rose. And soon I was drowning. Salty blood flooded my mouth and nose, pouring into my lungs.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

    And as I drowned in the blood I had shed I saw it. For one brief instant it was there, the next gone. A smile, all other details lost in gold.

    I jerked awake sputtering and flailing to find the waves had swallowed the rock I had slept on, and that I in turn had swallowed them.

    I crawled away from the water my mind still half asleep. I saw the waves flicker from blue and frothy to red and gorey. A quick shake of my head turned them back to the gentle but chilling blue. Feeling more tired than I had been when I fell asleep I retreated from the water and backed up into the cliff that had bordered the rocky beach I slept on.

    I was barely aware of my surroundings. A dull ringing covered all sound save an all too familiar but distant scream.

    Then Julius bit me.

    Reality snapped into place hard. My dreams became locked back into their cage in my mind and I could finally see, hear, and breathe again.

    It seems that during my panic attack I had begun squeezing the warm and fluffy Julius in my arms harder and harder until he bit me out of desperation.

    I spent the next while apologizing and snuggling a pouty Julius. He finally relaxed and forgave me when I offered him a piece of glowfruit and some orange roots, his two favorite snacks.

    By that time the water was up to my hips and showed no signs of stopping. Off on the horizon was a black wall of rumbling clouds. I decided it wasn''t wise to stay put and started to climb the cliff.

    I tried anyway. The surface of the cliff was mostly smooth making climbing a challenge. The few handholds I could find were formed into sharp ridges that cut into my hands.

    That was my breaking point. Here I was. Tired, scared, confused, wet, cold, and hungry. I wasNOT going to let a little cliff and some sharp rocks get in my way!

    An unfamiliar but comforting heat rose from the pit of my stomach. Tingles swam and spiraleed around and through this wave of emotion. It rose to my shoulders and rolled down my arms into my hands.

    The bones in my hands and wrists began to glow. My hands looked like a setting sun the tips and edges of them bright orange and darkening as the flesh got thicker until they reach the white almost blue core of heat that was my bones.

    I slammed my hands into the cliff and the rock gave way like soft sand. Melting and dribbling from the extreme heat I was harnessing. I gae out a scream of equal parts rage and victory, and clawed my way up the cliff leaving glowing holes and melted stone behind.

    When I reached the top of that cliff I saw another and I gave it no thought whatsoever before charging it and scaling it in the same manner. All the while I climbed I was screaming and crying. Don''t know why myself. Julius was perched on my head chittering and squeeking in harmony with me.

    I kept climbing when brutal winds tried to wrest me from the cliffside to smash on the rocks below.

    I kept climbing when rain and lightning fell. Blinding me with steam and harsh flashing light.

    I kept climbing until I had no where else to climb. I was on the peak.

    Then I turned my attention to the storm overhead. The rain fell and tried to steal my fire from me like it had not so very long ago on the grassy plains of the fallen lands. There was something about rain that isn''t the same as flowing or standing water. A repressive and depressing feel that dampened my flames and stilled my tingles within me. Preventing me from expressing them.

    But now I was full of fury, and I would not be repressed. I was riding so high on adrenaline and emotion I shrugged off the depressing rain-feel. Rather the opposite. The sensation of something trying to hold me down and cool me off only made me rise faster and burn hotter.

    I shot a scorching ray of brilliant heat from my hands into the clouds. Sundering them and sending the remnants into retreat as fast if not faster than they came. Lightning skidded and shuddered around the beam before rushing groundward and striking the mountaintop.

    I woke up later to find the mountain was shorter then I remember it being. It was also at this moment that I finally remembered I could fly. Rendering all the climbing I did today super useless.

    Well, I do feel a lot better now though. Much more relaxed now that I finally expressed all the rage I didn''t even know I had. So I guess it wasn''t entirely without benefit.

    The sky is clear now. And the stars are shining their calming light on me.

    I gave Julius an extra juicy looking glowfruit for putting up with me today and he is sleeping curled up on my lap. I know he can''t smile but I swear he is right now. Today was a weird day. I remeber some stuff. Mostly bad stuff like how to kill and use a sword but I also remember a smile.

    A beautiful smile. Just remembering it sends golden streamers dancing down my spine in joy ad brings a smile to my own lips.

    Overall. All the crap I have gone through since waking up in that cave is worth it for that one memory.

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: Diary entries of Anders Gerdarn, Zygos of the dueling flats of the jeweled city.

    6E 14/8/179

    Got fish from Greta today. Blue horned pike is hard to get these days but 30 silver thrones for just two fish is outrageous! I managed to sweet talk her down to 10 silver thrones and an introduction to one of the younger duelists.

    No good fights these days. I swear since that barrier went up all the whippersnappers have lost their edge. Not a single one of them would have survived back in my day. Bunch of softhanded, softheaded, syncophants. Kneeling to anything with a crown and spouting so many sweet words to the ladies its a wonder their teeth haven''t rotted.

    That rotter Prince Francis Rex Armitage is the worst though. He has never personally stepped onto one of my dueling flats. Always finding some strongman or woman and sweet talking them into fighting his battles. Some say he has awakened the Mesmer aspect of the Will of Water. I call bull plop. Kid is just a smooth talking dandy.

    Now Ignatius Rex Faobhar. That is what a royal should be! Domineering but noble. Strong but wise! A true scion of the old blood. To bad he is a bastard.

    I hear he managed to goad Prince Francis into taking his first ever expedition beyond the barrier. Of course the fop was surrounded by a wall of asskissers when he left. Useless.

    Maggie called, said that she and Collen were having another baby together. That makes 27 grandchildren. Everyone of them the sweetest little bundles of joy in my life. Ah, I wish Joyce was still alive to see all our grandbabies.

    *****

    6E 15/8/179

    I ate those fish the other night. Damn things weren''t fresh. When I stop having stomach cramps I am going to Greta and demanding a refund.

    *****

    6E 16/8/179

    Apparently while I was shitting my brains out that fop Prince Francis returned. All alone save for a filthy stranger. I guess his cadre of brown nosers bit the dust. Good riddance, too bad he didn''t join them.

    The stranger is his savior I hear. Some kind of wildman, been living out past the barrier. You hear of people like that from time to time. Little better than animals for the most part.

    Greta told me her cousins friends uncle Daved got his clock cleaned by the savage when they were processing him at the police station. Tried to take some kind of weird rabbit from him and got knocked out. I guess the wildman has some fire in his belly.

    I got some good fatty beef from Hiso. The Ushi clan he is from herd the best beef cattle I have ever seen or tasted. Tonight will be quite a feast.

    No good fights today either. Just the same young pukes wacking away at each other. I hope that wildman comes down for a fight or two. Show these kids how a real fight is.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    *****

    6E 17/8/179

    I don''t believe it.

    That wildman came down like I''d hoped he would. Wouldn''t have known he was one if I hadn''t been told. Big cuss. Taller than most and broad to boot. Not terribly muscled though, more of a lean and mean type if I had to guess. Looked pretty stupid though. He had vacant eyes and only grunted a few times. Drooled a bit too.

    Anyway he was cleanshaven and well dressed. Looked like a noble if you ignored the muscle tone and tan. I was hoping for more of a savage look. scars and furs and dirt and all that.

    He fought Ignatius. If you ignore the fact he was doing it in Prince Francis'' stead it looked like a good match.

    It wasn''t.

    Ignatius skewered him like a kebob within seconds of the fight starting. I was about to call the match right then and there, but the dumb brute clocked Ignatius right on the chin with a lovely uppercut.

    Shortest fight I ever officiated.

    He wandered off to get a sword removed from his guts. I don''t suppose I''ll see him again anytime soon.

    Maggie is coming over tonight. Says she will make Joyces famous chicken noodle casserole. I can''t wait to see her and the kids.

    *****

    6E 18/8/179

    Maggie''s food could make gods cry and ask for seconds. I regaled the babies with some old war stories when she was distracted. She doesn''t like it when I tell her kids them. Says it''ll give them nightmares. Bah.

    The stupid wildman came back today! This time in a personal challenge against Ignatius'' and his adventurer party. They''re modestly famous. Locally renowned. Nothing special about them beyond being led by Ignatius. They go by the name ''The Five Heroes''. Pretty lame name if you ask me.

    Even so, I expected a pretty brutal victory over the dumb brute and his pet rabbit.

    So when they all got their asses handed to them, two of them by the rabbit, I was pretty shocked.

    The brute kicked their shieldbearer out of the ring. Looked like a Will enchanced strike with a boosted start. Then he clasped his hand and straight up buried the big bruiser of the ''Heroes'' with a spinning overhead smash. Went right through his block. Now that had to be a Willed blowed because I felt the safety barriers give a little. To be able to shake the barrier put up and maintained by one of the makers of the fallen lands barrier. The guys a monster.

    Then his crazy monster pet flew up and smashed the Avian archer down to earth before swooping down and dropkicking the poor healer girl into the sand.

    As a final shock to top all the others the brute actually took a fully formed fireball from Ignatius. It hit him right in the chest and burned off his vest and shirt. Underneath was a tapestry of scars both old and new. As expected of a denizen of the fallen lands. Anyway, he shrugged off the fireball with ease and then gave another beautiful uppercut to Ignatius'' already bruised jaw.

    Prince Francis popped up like a mushroom on a shit heap and started to give a speech. He went on and on about how this wildman was his newest servant and bodyguard and if anyone had a problem with him or his actions they were welcome to challenge his champion in the duelling flats. He kept going, super smug and all. Not noticing his ''champion'' had wandered off while he was talking.

    At least he took the prize money. The ''heroes'' were pretty pissed at Ignatius for betting and losing five years of their groups savings in a single afternoon. He distracted them with a stupid idea, and last I saw they were looking for their opponent. Intent on having him train them.

    Gerome the owner of the general goods store closed his shop today. I only found out when I went to get some new wood sheeting to fix up the shed. Apparently he had a huge windfall from a foreigner who didn''t know how shopping or money works. Lucky guy.

    Oh yeah, and somebody bombed the airship loading tower. No airships can land or take off for at least a week while they get the temporary tower set up. Not like I was going to travel anyway though.

 Ninja pirate mountain

    Hello again. Today I explored the mountain and found out it was a pirate fortress.

    How do I know it is a pirate fortress?

    Because there is a big sign in the room with all the ships and bones that says "WAVE WOLF PIRATE FORTRESS" all in big bold red letters.

    Subtle it is not. I probably wouldn''t have found that room, or any of the others for that matter if not for my rage fed storm banishing yesterday.

    I mentioned the mountain got shorter yeah? Well the new mountaintop had some exposed caves and tunnels.

    These caves and tunnels worm and squirm their way throughout the mountain. Leaving it rather hollow. Here and there are some steps or smaller tunnels that seem to have been chiseled in later. Presumably by the pirates, but the majority of the tunnels are smooth and polished oblong passages that seem to be entirely natural.

    The biggest cave is at the base of the mountain. It once formed a sheltered and hidden bay where the pirates could conceal their ships and rest between pillagings. I say once because the mountain face above the entrance collapsed and sealed three ships and roughly 200 pirates inside the mountain. They died of starvation and dehydration with their only exit sealed.

    I collected their skulls to get a count. Assuming none of them had two heads I count 268 pirate skulls. Though I imagine I may have missed some or they fell into the water. The bay is still full of water. I guess there is room between the rocks for water at least. I took the skulls I had gathered and made a lovely pile of them.

    Julius likes to nap on top of said skull pile.

    He''s so cute.

    Other rooms contain rusty weapons, rotten crates and barrels, and one super cool cave is full of plunder! Heaps of shiny coins and rare artifacts litter the floor around a throne that seems to be carved from a single massive rib bone from an unknown creature. It is finely engraved with depictions of piracy, plundering, pillaging, and fighting on the high seas. These carvings sweep across the entire throne from top to bottom aside from the actual seat surface which is worn smooth.

    Julius also likes to nap on the throne.

    He has basically been spending the day napping on either my head, the skull pile, or the throne. With snack breaks when he gets tired of napping.

    The most interesting room, and by far my favorite is way deep down in the roots of the mountain. It was in this place that I learned what a pirate is, and all the vernacular like pillaging, plundering, and words for bodies of water like seas and bays and even the names of those floating wooden things, ships.

    Down there, the ocean is silent. All you can hear is the slow steady drip, drip, drip of water from ceiling to the pools in the floor. The cavern is long and wide. Bright blue water fills natural pools that lie scattered seemingly at random across the floor. The water in the pools swell and sway in a pantomime of the ocean overhead, and each and every pool have lines strung across them. Hanging along these lines are large tusks. Dozens of lines per pool and hundreds of dull yellow and white ivory tusks per line.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    They bob along with the water silently, and they are decorated in a fashion similar to the throne above. Fine carvings depict men and women at sea. Fighting the elements, great sea creatures, and each other. There is, however, one key difference between these fangs and the throne. The carvings down here give off a bright blue and green glow. Illuminating the pale and pure water and casting rippling shadows across the walls and ceiling.

    Naturally I bent down and grabbed one from the edge of the pool. I was not expecting what happened next.

    I saw a life lived before my eyes. I saw a young man named Abern from the day he killed a large fat creature he called a Mors and took one of its large protruding tusks.

    I saw him string it and hang it from his neck in a time honored tradition of his people. I saw him carve his adventures and trials into it as the years passed. I saw him age and as he learned the trade of his people so did I. His people were pirates.

    He rose from a deck scrubbing oar boy to a captain of his own ship. I saw him face challenges from all sides as he navigated through storm and battle. I saw him face challengers. Envious of his ship and crew. And I saw him lose his final challenge. Finally I saw as his tusk was taken from his body, engraved with his defeat, and placed in these pools.

    The tusk was unlit afterwards. Just dull ivory now. I reverently placed it back into the water and stepped back.

    I knew things I had no knowledge of learning before. How to sail, how to fight, measures of time and distance and weight. A lifetime of learning had been pressed against my mind, and all I had retained were some very dull impressions of Aberns strongest learned lessons.

    The minutiae had faded as quickly as it had come.

    I grabbed more tusks. Greedy for knowledge, hungry to know what I had lost. I was grasping desperately at these loose strings. Hoping to find a tapesty, but all I got was a handful of frayed cords.

    In the end I now have a terrible headache and after eight tusks I know how to sail, navigate, fish, negotiate, scheme, plunder, and fight. I also learned some very dark things. Ways to hurt people. Ways to break them. I will put those memories away, and I hope to never need them.

    There were also a few fish recipes that were so good they left a deep enough impression on the pirates to leave an impression on me. I must try them!

    It seems pirates are not very nice people. Though, I will say, some of them seemed like really good people it''d be a blast to have fun with. Most were just greedy and vicious thugs in boats.

    Anyway. I am sad that they apparently didn''t really care about the ''landlubbers''. I found no clues about myself. and their memories about the composition of the land based countries and peoples wasn''t deeply seated enough to leave an impression on me.

    I did however get the general location of a den of thieves they traded with. Its on land and maybe the thieves will have something similar to this room only with more memories focused on land. If I can find some memory of me, or at least of a place I could start asking questions. Then my search for myself will finally get some traction.

    Well, its a start at least.

    I guess I could also go to places with lots of dead people. That woke up a few memories last time. But those were gruesome memories. Just vague recollections of death and violence. Excluding the smile of course.

    *Sigh* That all sounds so troublesome though. I am no idiot. My memories seem like those of a violent and hated man. Perhaps it is better to just let them stay forgotten. I could just wander the world. Free of worry or cause. No mysteries besides where I will sleep and what I will eat. I have Julius, and I have my tingles.

    What more can a man ask for?

    Goodnight.

 Iver

    Hello again.

    When I woke up I set aside my night time musings of a far off goal, and instead focused on the most immediate problems facing me here and now.

    Most notably, Julius had gone missing.

    He wasn''t on my stomach as he usually is when I wake up, and I quickly checked both the throne and skull pile to no avail.

    I scrambled from room to room, in a tizzy. Shouting out his name and checking every nook and cranny for so much as a whisker.

    No luck.

    It wasn''t until I paused my frantic search that I found a clue of where to continue it. A small echoey squeek. Bouncing around the caves and tunnels.

    I proceeded quietly then. Tracing the occasional squeek and chitter I knew so well.

    Finally I was led to a blank wall. Uninteresting in the extreme if not for the squeeks and churring I could hear my little buddy making behind it. Since he didn''t sound distressed I took my time takng a gander at the wall.

    It took far longer than I care to admit before I found the trick. A torch had been lit on the wall. Now since me and julius make out own fire we had been ignoring the torches that filled the pirate fortress and not lit a single one. So a lit torch was suspicious. If I had been less worried I probably would have noticed it way sooner. A surly yank on the torch produced a click and the whole wall and a small section of floor rotated to show a new tunnel.

    Curious I gave it another tug and rode the wall around again. I only did that five or six more times before I figured out why the torch was lit. When you tug on the torch outside the hidden area a engraved plate set on the wall across from the torch lights up and sets the torch on the inside on fire.

    I guess the plan was that a suspicious or curious pirate may see the unlit torch outside once the wall is flipped and fiddle with the switch to ''fix'' the problem. Seems like a lot of work to hide a spinning wall but pirates are weird I guess.

    I followed the tunnel and found Julius happily nibbling on some strange red glowing moss that was growing on the floor, walls, and ceiling of the tunnel barring the way forward. I tried some.

    Its not bad. A little spicy and salty on its own, but it would make a fine addition to any duller meat dishes I happen to make as a garnish or seasoning.

    I scraped and shoveled the moss into my satchel. Leaving a patch for Julius as he was giving me a baleful look for snatching his new snack. I ruffled his ears, happy he was okay, and went along the tunnel to see where it went.

    In the end it led to a room containing the two most precious resources a pirate could have.

    Rum and sea charts.

    Barrel upon barrel of aged rum sat dusty and disused nearly filling the large cave besides a small chest and writing desk where the sea charts detailing the coastlines, currents, and caches of the pirates. These charts were what had allowed a clan of disreputable sea rats to hoodwink and out run the various navies that had hunted them. Painstakingly complied from hundreds of years of piracy and smuggling.

    With these I finally had a glimpse of the world. It was larger than I had anticipated. This wave wolf pirate fortress was far further out to sea then I had expected. Nearly a weeks sailing with the wind in your sails. And that''s if you aren''t caught in a storm or becalmed.

    That sucks. I was planning on just flying away to land. But I don''t think I can cover that distance without rest. I could try island hopping but the closest island is still a good two days away. Iffy. I don''t want to be leaving this to chance. Some of those pirates memories had very clear images of the kind of creatures living in the sea. Cold dead eyes and far too many teeth, or those horrid massive tentacles with barbed poisonous suckers. I will not relish having to swim with them.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    I spent some time sulking and trying to find a way out off this. In the end the best idea I could come up with was building or finding a boat small enough to fly with and/or propel at great speeds with my tingles. So it needs to be small and light enough for me to at the very least carry down the mountainside. And big enough to hold me, Julius, and weeks supply of drinking water.

    Interestingly enough, the satchel cannot contain unbound liquids. They just don''t go in. I guess I could just load the barrels of water into my satchel. If I can find any. All the food and drink besides this hidden cache of rum was consumed by the pirates before their death. Not even the rats aboard their ships were spared in the siege-like enviroment of being trapped in their fortress.

    I hope I don''t have to rely on rum to stay hydrated. I tried some and I can''t say I am a fan of the taste. Better that nothing I suppose.

    I headed down to the mystical pirate memory grave and looked for memories detailing shipbuilding. The more tusks belonging to a single person the better. See, a tusk has a limited amount of room. And they are carved with experiences the wearer finds important or formative. So a man who lived an exciting life for fifty years may have more tusks than a boring old geezer who lived a hundred years.

    So I was looking for a man who built ships for many years, or built many ships he thought were important for a few years. Getting multiple tusks from the same person is important too, as it deepens the memories of the previous tusks for every other one there is and allows me to recall more and in greater detail.

    I finally found a man named Iver. He lived a very, very long time and was a shipwright for most of them.

    He had eight tusks. An enormous number for a single man showing he had lived a full and rich, or at least busy, life.

    Iver was a good man. He was born to the pirate clans and took the tusk of a mors as is tradition as a coming of age ceremony. But his story was different from most pirates, Iver hated to kill. He was a simple man who enjoyed sailing and ship building. But hated the things his ships and crewmembers did. One day it all became to much. And Iver ran. He fled up a river in a shallow drafted boat of his design. He stopped at a great lake.

    Iver got to know the people of the lake. They were subdued and quiet people who where under attack by their neighbors who were envious of their fertile land and the rare gem mines in the hills bordering the lake. Iver taught the lakemen to fight like pirates. Dirty and vicious. Striking from the shadows and leaving dead sentries to be found in the morning. Although the fighting disgusted Iver he saw this as defending his friends, and therefore better than assaulting strangers as a pirate. Iver built them boats to ferry their warriors from one village to another. Allowing the distant villages to support one another and stand as one against their invaders.

    Time passed and the invasion was repelled. The infamy of the lakemen had grown enough to give other greedy minds pause. Iver and the lakemen worked together. A dream of peace and freedom prompted Iver to start a grand project. Building long bridges and barges on the lake which became the roads and buildings of a town that floated on the water. Iver built a whole city that drifted on the great lake. Secure from invasion by the landlubbers greed. Many lakemen brough their families to live on Laketown and it was here that Iver met his wife-to-be. They settled down and years passed with children appearing as they tend to.

    And that was when the pirates attacked. They burned Ivers Laketown to cinder and ash. They imprisoned the lakemen as oar-slaves and Ivers family that he had made among them was held hostage to force him to make more great ships for the pirates.

    Iver continued to make ships of war for the rest of his life. In his spare time he would meet with his imprisoned wife and doodle plans for odd little ships from his dreams of sailing away from his captors with his family. This went on until his death.

    It was a sad life. But it had the experience I needed. I decided on a design for my ship. A simple and small little thing to small to even really be called a boat. The rudder will be metal, and extend behind the boat a little further and deeper than normal. If I run tingles through it the heat should be extreme enough to pull off a controlled steam burst to propel the boat forward quickly. I may have to make some changes to get it to work but I am sure I will manage. I will begin dismantling and salvaging the three large pirate ships tomorrow to make it.

    I will call my ship ''Ivers Dream'' for I intend for it to embody the idea of freedom he so craved.

    Tonight I used a makeshift fishing pole I crafted to catch some fish for dinner. They tasted great when baked while stuffed with a handful of the red moss I shall from now on call fire moss.

    My head aches from all the new memories. But my belly is full and I feel I will soon drift off.

    Ah, now that I think of it. How did Julius open the hidden tunnel?

    Mystery.

    Goodnight.

 If at first you dont succeed... I suppose youll fail wont you?

    Hello again. Today was rather difficult.

    The first problem of the day was finding tools to build a new ship in this old pirate lair. There was a ramshackle forge in one of the caves with some ventilation shafts dug to let in the salty sea air. That same air had rotted the bellows and rusted everything metal in the forge. From the anvil to the small supply of bar stock. They were all coated in a thick layer of rust.

    Some fire and elbow grease cleaned the rust off of the heavier hammers, anvil, and saws. But for the smaller pieces like nails I decided to just melt them down and recast them. That was much more difficult that expected. I knew the basics of forging ship components from Ivers memories, but actually using that knowledge proved a challenge.

    I had a vision of a small maybe ten foot boat. With a narrow beam and shallow draft. It would be extremely tippy unless I add on a pretty deep keel. I envisioned a furnace and water container at the stern or rear of the ship so I could collect seawater and use extreme heat to turn it to steam which would then be expelled from the very rear of the ship to propel it forward.

    Salvaging the wood from the trapped ships went easily enough. And I assembled the ship at the peak of the mountain. Lots of running up and down the mountain today.

    The first one I didn''t control my fire properly, and the already leaking wreck caught fire, much to Julius'' delight, before sinking. I managed to salvage the furnace off of it.

    The second one I took my time making watertight. But it was horribly unbalanced. It had so much weight on the back that it just tilted up until it was pointed directly to the sky before sinking like a rock. I had to dive for the furnace and found lunch while I was at it. Some kind of fish. Brighty colored and delicious.

    The third one I added a heavy metal ram to the bow or the front of my ship. Imagining it would be fun ramming through obstacles on my voyage. Sadly while the weight was balanced now between front and back it was to much for my narrow ship to bear and the poor thing sunk slowly beneath the waves. More salvaging happened. Julius lost his enthusiasm for swimming and stayed ashore for the rest of the tests.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    The fourth one I shrunk the furnace and got rid of the ram. I used a simple valve system to feed water from the sea into a boiler. Once there was enough water inside the pressure would close the valve and prevent any more water from entering and flooding my ship. Then I just had to heat up the boiler and the steam would be expelled from the a different pipe underwater. Generating thrust and propelling my ship forward. Getting the valves and pipes set was a tricky business. Unfortunately when I tried to use it the whole thing exploded. I guess the exhaust pipe was to narrow or got clogged or something? Either way the steam couldn''t escape quick enough. Causing it to burst the boiler.

    I skipped five times over the waves from the blast. None of the ship was salvagable. Julius cheered from the shore.

    For the fifth one I decided to make it simple. Narrow beam, shallow draft, deep keel. I ignored all the steam ideas and just set up a simple metal funnel pointing behind my vessel. I braced my right foot on the deck and my left behind me before the funnel. Sending tingles rocketing down my left leg I blasted fire out of it like I was trying to fly.

    By bracing myself against the deck and keeping a firm grip on some ropes attached to the stern of my vessel either side of the funnel exit. I managed to rather than fly myself propel the entire boat across the ocean.

    It was so light that I could change coarse simply by tilting my body and leaning to one side. Sadly I lost control when I hit a wave head on and the resulting short flight and sudden crash smashed my little craft into kindling.

    I thought I had a winner with that one, but if it can''t take the beating of the waves then it just isn''t a ship. I will have to make it bigger and sturdier. Maybe add a sail so I don''t have to do all the work. The simple rocket propulsion idea is good though.

    Now I have a good idea what to do for success tomorrow.

    It is getting late. The sun is dipping beneath the waves and painting the clouds and water in brilliant reds and vivid violets. I am absolutely exhausted from all the running, swimming, diving, and building I have been doing today. I only have enough material for two or three more ships.

    Tomorrow I will succeed and set sail.

    Or I will sink and fail.

    Goodnight.

 Maritime adventures begin

    Hello again. Today I set sail.

    So far I have not sunk. Which is very encouraging.

    As I was running out of material I decided to put aside my interesting ideas and just make a normal boat.

    A simple rowboat with a patchwork sail sewn from the moldy remnants of the pirates ships once great sails. I made it simple but sturdy and proceeded to haul it up the mountain. When I reached the top I secured the mast and prepared to fly it down to the sea for a test cruise around the mountain.

    Julius cheered me on with the occasional fireball to the face when I started slowing down. Nothing like a fireball to wipe away the sweat and add some pep to your step!

    I got it down, set up some oars, and started rowing.

    Long story short it works.

    It may be a little leaky, creaky, smelly, and stained, but theIvers Dream is finished and seaworthy! I took her for a few more laps around the mountain. Julius settled himself on the prow and squeeked imperious orders. Directing our new flagship mightily across the bitter seas.

    After we stopped having fun and just became wet and tired we had a late lunch and set a course for the nearest island.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    It is an unnamed, uninhabited, spit of land with three small islands forming a circle around the center one.

    It should normally take at least two days but I wager we''ll get there tomorrow. I am cheating you see. Every few hours I will hop out of the boat into the waters, and grab a hold of a long sturdyish rope tied to the prow. Then I will start flying and tow the boat behind me. I can''t go as fast as I would like since the speed from rocketing would smashIvers Dream to smithereens against the waves but at least we are moving faster than just the sail or oars could move us, and when I get tired I just rest on my lovely little boat.

    I don''t have to swim which is awesome since three times already today horrifying creatures from the deep have taken a shot at me whenI am in midair. Bursting forth from the waves in a glittering show of water droplets and sharp teeth. Quite pretty actually. Aside from the last one. The flat slither was dinner. The fat fish is breakfast. And the unnameable horror from the abyss is toast.

    I stowed the tasty bits of the fat fish in my satchel. I suppose the offal I threw overboard was what drew in the unnameable horror. Which is as indescribable as it is unnameable. Just an amalgamation of teeth and appendages in no particular order. Pulsing and squirming muscles beneath a multi-hued hide of scars and blistered skin.

    Julius reacted faster than me for that one. I had hardly regretted looking at it before he bathed it in stream of fire, and it popped like a zit. Gore and crusty gunk splattered all over everything. Both me and Julius quickly turned the crud on ourselves to ash and washed that away.

    Then I had to clean the boat by hand with some musty sail as a washcloth. I am so making my next ship out of something inflammable. Much easier to clean that way.

    Night fell as it tends to. Alongside the fall of the sun the stars arose ,and I set course as I they guide me. Now I guess I will try getting some sleep.

    I have a good feeling about tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Lost to the waves

    Hello. I lost Julius.

    Today looked so promising at the start. Bright blue skies, gentle swells, the occasional sea monster attack to keep things interesting. Then everything got really dark. Massive clouds came roaring out of the distant blue. Massive cresting waves tosed the Ivers Dream about like a new toy ball in the hands of capracious children.

    All I could do was tie Julius and myself to the boat and hope that she would see us through this. A hope soon betrayed.

    The Ivers Dream had been made from the remnants of ancient ships. Those time worn boards finally gave up the ghost and soon all the world was water.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    I don''t know how long the storm raged. Days may have passed, or mere hours. What I do know is that when the skies and sea calmed I was all alone again.

    I took flight, dragging the scrap of ship I was tied to along as an anti-drowning measure. I scoured the seas. Looking through every piece of wreckage I could find for traces of my little friend.

    My hands were scraped raw and bloody from the jagged wood. My eyes burned from unshed tears and saltwater. My voice grew hoarse and then silent from my desperate shouts.

    I cannot find him. He is lost.

    Julius. You are... were the best thing that ever happened to me. May you open your eyes to new worlds, and may their wonders please you.

    Goodbye my brother. I hope we meet again.

    Goodnight. I do not think I will be able to sleep.

 Rum and a song

    Hello. I did sleep.

    Grief is apparently not a strong enough wall to keep sleep from invading my mind.

    I am thankful I did not dream.

    I just drifted today. Draped lifelessly over some debris from the Ivers Dream. Hunger failed to rouse me. Only a rasping, pounding, murderous thirst managed to wake me from my despair long enough to fish a barrel of rum from my satchel.

    I spent the next few hours sipping handfuls of rum.

    As the sun rose and started its fall my despair began to weaken. A sleepy buzz fogged my head. Keeping my thoughts and feelings from clawing at my mind.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    I drank more.

    The sun had sunk beneath the waves and the first barrel of rum was half empty. As I saw the golden sphere slip below the water it stirred a memory of watching other sunsets with Julius.

    JULIUUUUUS!!!

    A sudden lightning flash of resentment and rage flashed across my clouded brain. Clearing up the fog a little. I pounded my fist into the barrel of rum and a spark ignited.

    Foomphf.

    The rum caught fire. I was enraptured by the flames. Watching them dance across the liquids surface.

    I was so entranced my first indication of something happening was when a pair of arms looped under mine and I was scooped up onto a rope bound seat, and hauled onto a deck.

    The rope around my waist was cut away. Voices spoke words my mind refused to translate. A pause was followed by a deep voice barking what even I could tell were orders.

    Rough hands carried me into a dark place and oddly gently settled me into an unfamiliar swaying bed. I wrote all this as I l listened to the waves splash against a ships hull and a small girls soprano voice sang a calming lullaby.

    Goodnight.

 Carnage is catharsis

    Hello again. I feel much better today.

    When I woke up I felt like someone had stuffed a thunderstorm between my ears.

    This feeling was compounded by the arrival of little Lena.

    Lena is a tiny little girl with a very big smile, and a very loud voice. She wears simple canvas clothes like all the other sailors on board, and keeps her long blue hair braided and bundeled atop her head. Her uncle, Chapman, is the captain of this ship the Wave Walker.

    Captain Chapman is a small man with a big nose, a big hat, and a big voice. Deep as the ocean and twice as cold, when captain Chapman bellows out an order his crew leaps to obey. He dotes on Lena though. SHe is the princess in this castle of wood and canvas.

    Other crewmembers of note are Herry, and Lonny.

    Herry is huge. Towering over me with powerful muscles that swell under his bronze skin. He would be terrifying if not for his gaptoothed sunny smile he carries everywhere with him.

    Herrys antithesis is Lonny. He is in a word, greasy. Slickbacked black hair and a smile that makes you check your back for knives combined. I don''t like Lonny.

    While Herry dotes on Lena nearly as much as the captain Lonny keeps his distance. But he is always watching her. I don''t like Lonny at all.

    They are merchants for the Bloodwake Ravagers pirate kingdom.

    I guess a long time ago the largest and most powerful pirate crews set up shop on some uninhabited islands. A few centuries passed and now they are full fledged kingdoms. With their own navies, merchant fleets, laws, and even currencies.

    The Bloodwake kingdom is fairly powerful amongst pirate kingdoms. And this fluyt the  Wave Walker is a part of their merchant fleet. Fluyts are very good at moving cargo. They move quick, have a lot of space, and only need a small crew to run at their best. Very efficient.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    All that also means they are lightly armed and manned. Making them very tasty targets for enemy pirates.

    Like the ones who attacked right after lunch.

    A brig and two sloops came from behind us. The brig would not normally be a problem as the Water Walker could simply outrun it.

    But those sloops creeped in on either side, and their cannons swept the sails and masts. Leaving us crippled and a sitting duck for the howling pirates aboard the brig.

    Well. I guess I was a little bit mad at the world still over losing Julius. Because when those Pirates came alongside theWave Walker.

    Well.

    I boarded them first.

    I had a sword in either hand. Fire filled the air around me. My tingles buzzed in anger and anguish. They demanded release.

    I gave it to them.

    Necks were slit. Arms split. Heads rolled and overhead the rigging and sails blazed. I was screaming. Nothing in particular. Just releasing the pain inside me all over these fools.

    In the end I was calm. I took a box full of shiny loot and tucked it into my satchel before punching a series of holes into the bottom of the pirate brig and heading back to the topdeck.

    When I got there I looked at theWave Walkerand saw chaos. The sloops had boarded her while I was handling the brig. Dead pirates and sailors cluttered her deck. I saw Chapman and Herry charging a group of pirates and pushing them back onto their sloop. Herry made to follow them back to their ship but they cut loose and took off.

    The sloops headed in different directions.

    By the time I had finished torching the brig theWave Walker had already set off after one. They were limping and slow though. They had no chance of catching that agile sloop and judging from the swearing from Chapman he knew it.

    I flew over and upon seeing I could fly captain Chapman grabbed me and ordered me to go save Lena.

    Lonny had grabbed her and jumped onto one of the sloops during the attack. He had been a spy Chapman said.

    I don''t know why they wanted Lena but I doubted it would be good for her health to find out.

    I took off after the sloop. But I never got there.

    While my rampage on the brig had certainly been refreshing it had also been exhausting. I was out of fire. I pulled off a beautiful bellyflop into the sea below and was barely saved from drowning by a well thrown rope by Herry.

    The crew is frantically fixing the damaged masts and sails. We will continue chasing Lena and Lonny it seems. These guys sure want to get Lena back. What I don''t get is why they seem more angry than panicked?

    I mean, I only knew her for less than a day and I am terrified about what those sick pirates might do to her. They''ve known her for a lot longer than me and they seem more pissed that she got taken from them than worried for her safety.

    Ugh, what do I know though? People are weird.

    I''ll fly after her tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Threats dont work on idiots

    Hello again. I feel I may have made some mistakes today.

    As planned I took flight and gave chase after that scumbag Lonny a soon as the sun rose enough for me to see by.

    Unfortunately things stopped going as planned right about there. First of all was the flock of angry birds I accidentaly flew into. If you have your eyes on the sea you''ll miss the massive multi-colored flock of birds dead ahead.

    Remember that for the future.

    After I escaped the pecking squawking mess in a cloud of smouldering feathers and ash I had been thrown off course.

    I had no idea which way to go. I really should have gotten my bearings before I left the ship. I recalled seeing the sun to my left when I took off. So I put it to my left and flapped off.

    Flying is slower than rocketing, but I can keep it up for much longer. I think today is going to be a long distance day.

    Watching the waves below shift and swirl I had plenty of time to think and feel. Considering how rough the last few days had been emotionally I wasn''t enjoying my introspection very much.

    I had lost my small and cute little friend. Then, before I was over grieving for him I was introduced to another small and cute possible friend. And then that one was taken away from me too! I was hoping that somehow, if I can save Lena, then maybe it will save Julius too.

    I know it doesn''t make sense but emotions are weird! They just are. Julius is probably already... No! He is alive! I won''t give up on him. My little buddy is a fighter! He won''t let a measly little ocean stop our adventures. I know it. Now I just need to find him. Somehow. Ugh.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

    My cloudy emotions got to rain out their grievances and soon enough they drifted away.

    I was still worried about Lena, and Julius, but I felt much more controlled and in charge of my mental state.

    Which is probably why when I caught up to the sloop and found it in the company of an assorted dozen other bigger pirate ships I wasn''t really fazed.

    At least I was in control until the biggest guy with the biggest beard aboard the biggest ship held up a squirming burlap sack and said " Hey fire freak! Land and give back my treasure! Unless you never want to see your little friend alive aga..."

    That is about as close as I can recall his words. All the rest were muffled by my fist. Anyway, I thought he had Julius and when he threatened him I totally lost my shit. That massacre on the brig? Childs play. This was a straight up slaughterfest. I was a beast.

    Spines were removed by hand. Fire covered the sky and sea. I started another skull pile, and I swear I kicked a guy so hard he turned inside out. I didn''t even think that was possible!

    Anyway, five minutes after that ill advised attempt to negotiate/threaten me failed all that was left was blood, fire, and some ash.

    Super.

    I opened the burlap sack and little Lena came flopping out. A little bruised and dirty but still hale and healthy.

    Until she saw what I had done.

    Since then she has been glued to my leg. She is just clinging onto me and refuses to let go. I found a relatively clean ship''s boat. lowered it into the water and plomped down in it to have a meal and get some sleep.

    Lena hasn''t said a word yet. She did eat some fish and fruit, but she is still clinging to me and I ran out off firepower again today. Still, I feel like I lasted long today that I could have before.

    Thats good. Progress is always encouraging.

    I rowed us away from the smoking sinking wrecks of the once proud pirate fleet. Once we were clear I just let us drift and lay down to sleep.

    Lena is now clinging to my chest rather than my leg. I hope she lets go soon. I am not great with people.

    Goodnight.

 Youve been busy

    Hello again. I found Julius today.

    Super happy about that!

    He destroyed a pirate kingdom. I dunno which one and I don''t care. I am sure they deserved it. Julius is a very upright fella.

    My wake up call today was Lena whimpering and shivering on my chest as she slept. The sun wasn''t up yet but I didn''t go back to sleep. I hugged her. Sent some tingles into my arms and chest areas. Enough to warm up but not make fire. She relaxed and snuggled the warmth.

    I just stayed like that until the sun was up. Watching the stars and being a little girls heated mattress. Didn''t see this coming, did I?

    When the sun rose it brought with it hope. For in the distance I could see pillars of smoke.

    I had my suspicions but I tried not to get my hopes up. Maybe it was just some other fire friendly person, whooping it up. I failed, my hopes got way up. I didn''t wait for Lena to wake up. I took flight right away. Frantically flapping my way to the smoke, and hoping to find fire.

    Sure enough. A Small cluster of islands had seven fortresses dotted along its edge and a castle in the middle. All ravaged and burning.

    Cleaning his ears of soot near the castle was Julius.

    I swooped down and scooped him up. Cuddling the fluffy for all I was worth. My friend was alive! My brother was alive!

    HAHA! Take that storm! You didn''t kill either of us! You didn''t even seperate us for that long!!Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

    That was when Lena woke up. She finally let go of me and flopped on the grass. Her eyes were dull and glassy. Until they took in Julius.

    Julius and Lena stared at each other for a solid minute. Weighing each other on the cosmic scale of cuteness all of nature must abide by. Finally, Julius hopped imperiously over to the shellshocked little girl. He gave a magnanimous twitch of the ear and a tolerant chitter.

    Lena gave out a squeal. "HE''S SO CUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!" she pretty much deafened me there. then she scooped up the very relaxed Julius and proceeded to cuddle like her life depended on it.

    I suppose her sanity might?

    I settled down and watched the two adorable little ones frolic in the soft grass with a burning pirate castle in the background.

    Picturesque.

    After a very long time I led the way back to the shore. Julius was carried by Lena. The newest member of our little troupe. I needed to find a boat and then find a way back to captain Chapman. Or the bloodwake kingdom. Assuming this wasn''t the bloodwake kingdom, that is. I didn''t see a single living pirate on the island.

    Julius is content to nestle with his newest cuddle buddy, and Lena is pretty much blind to all the carnage around us. Focusing on just the fluffy red friend in her arms.

    Which is good because Julius really went wild here. I think she might be freaked out by all the dismembered corpses and shattered buildings if she saw them.

    It took a long time to find a seaworthy vessel. Julius had wrecked them too. I was just considering making my own when a new undaaged ship pulled into dock. I kicked the pirates off and set sail in my reappropriated sloop.

    Inside were seven massive chests full of shiny shiny loot. My loot now I suppose. I dumped them into my satchel.

    We set sail. Julius and Lena frolicked about on deck enjoying the sun and a nice breeze. Lena would occasionally make a ball of water come from the sea and chase Julius with it. He would dodge her water balls and send back fireballs of his own. Lena blocked them with a seawater curtain. Kids love to play you know?

    After they wore each other out I made some fish for lunch. Lena complained it was too spicy so I made her a different dish without the firemoss.

    The kids had played themselves into an early nights sleep. Lena and Julius were curled up in a hammock. I watched the sunset before getting in my own hammock.

    Things are looking up.

    Goodnight.

 We got lost

    Hello again. I feel kind of silly.

    I have no idea where we are. On a boat clearly. On the seas too. Ok so I suppose I do know exactly where we are. What I don''t know is where anything else is. Captain Chapmans ship, Bloodwake kingdom, just land in general. Not a clue.

    Well, worrying about it won''t help I suppose.

    So I spent the day lazing about on deck, fishing pole in hand and enjoying the sunshine and calm waters. The cooling and relaxing wind carrying the sound of romping and playing to my ears. Julius and Lena had asked for some toys so I took out the treasure chests for them.

    They''ve been playing pirate kings ever since. Both trying to loot the other while simultaneously protecting their own loot. Heaps of gold coins and gems litter the deck. The occasional crown or jewel encrusted sword lying here and there. Lena is wearing so many tiaras rings and necklaces she can hardly walk. Julius is content to simply make a burrow in a pile of gold.

    I hope it isn''t hard to get melted gold off of a wooden deck.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Lena likes to sneak tendrils of water over the side of the deck to snatch some of Julius'' treasure while using a big sphere of water to suround and protect her own. Julius uses his speed and rockets from one of his burrows many exits to streak through her defenses and snatch up some treasure. He attacks her tendrils with fireballs to stop them from snatching his own treasure.

    It was a stalemate for hours until Lena just couldn''t keep up her defenses any more. I guess she exhausted her tingles.

    Julius is older and with the glowfruits he has eaten his stamina is way higher than Lenas. So he wins.

    I had made lunch though so they called it before he took all of her treasure. Lena watched Julius nibble some firemoss with her little nose wrinkling. Presumably remembering how it tastes. She chomped her way through a fish about her size. Playing is hungry work it seems.

    No seamonsters attacked today.

    We just let the winds and currents carry us where they will. It is very relaxing.

    As the little ones play each other into a early nights sleep I practice my sailing and fishing skills.

    If all my day are like this I will be a happy man indeed.

    One thing of unusual nature did occur though.

    We found a glass bottle with a note and a map inside of it. The note simply says "HELP" and the map is a seachart showing a island. No idea how this is supposed to be of any help to me but I suppose it is no problem keeping the chart and bottle.

    I wonder who sent it to me?

    Goodnight.

 The floating grave

    Hello again. I found the most interesting place today.

    Rather than find it I suppose it would be more accurate to say we ran into it.

    In the very early morning I was woken up by a crash that launched me from my hammock into the wall. Lovely.

    I stumbled out on deck to be met by a bizzare sight. The newly rising sun had just started to illuminate a forest of shattered masts and tattered sails. As far as the eye can see. Ships. Of all sizes and nations. They formed a hulking mass of broken wood and rusted metal.

    The current here was very strong. It kept our ship trapped against the side of the rotted caravel we had crashed into. Slowly this island of broken ships spun. Caught in a massive spiralling current.

    I was actually pretty excited. We might be trapped, but can you imagine a better place to make a new and improved Ivers Dream?

    I spent the next few hours rousing my shipmates, they had somehow managed to sleep through the crash, and exploring this wonderland of broken dreams. I was looking for some fireproof materials. Only they would be used in the construction of my new ship.

    Eventually I had a really brilliant bad idea. What is the quickest way to look for fireproof material? Burn it all! Whatever is left among the ashes is obviously fireproof.

    With no further thought or consideration of the risks I marched back to our sloop and proceeded to blast everything around us with fire. Fire spread as it is wont to do and soon I was fighting to keep the sloop from becoming part of the conflagration.

    Lena proved invaluable. Creating and maintaining a curtain of shimmering water between us and the blaze. Me and Julius just reflected the heat and fire away from us. As the ships burned away into ash we drifted along in the current slowly circling the island of broken and burning ships and being drawn closer and closer to the center.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    This went on all day and well into the night. Poor Lena passed out around noon. Little trooper, I tucked her into her hammock and left some fruit and drink nearby for when she gets hungry.

    Finally, we reached the center. Our sloop was scorched here and there, and the sails were toast. But it was still afloat. Which I consider a victory. Now that we were in the center all that was left was a lot of ash, some metal fragments too light to sink, and a large pile of steering wheels and rudders with some large wooden eyes mixed in here and there.

    All of these appeared to be made of the same wood. A pearly white wood with a beautiful swirling grain.

    I scooped up one of the steering wheels and gave it a little fire to double check its fireproofness. No fire came out. Rather, when my tingles got to my hands that were holding the wheel they got sucked directly inside of the wheel. From my hands rich vibrant red started to seep into the white wood. The swirling grain patterns shifted and warped to resemble flames. In a few minutes the whole wheel was red.

    Super Odd!

    What added even more weirdness to this whole thing was that I could still distantly feel the tingles that had been sucked into the wheel. They were stuck, but with some effort I could move them. And when I shifted the tingles inside the wheel the wheel shifted too. I could manipulate its shape seemingly without limit beyond its size.

    I molded it into a square block and set it aside before hurriedly grabbing another white steering wheel from the pile. I started the whole process over agan and once it was done I once again molded it into a square.

    Then I pressed the two squares together and tried to mingle the tingles inside each with one another.

    It worked!

    I had made a single whole square from two different ones!

    I have decided. I am going to tingle all of this wood. And mold it into my new ship. A single solid piece of fireproof wood. In the shape of a ship.

    This is going to be awesome!

    I started to tingle the wheels, rudders, and eyes. I ran out of tingles after I got through roughly a quarter of them.

    I will go to bed and finish in the morning.

    Goodnight.

 Dream again

    Hello again. Ivers Dream ver. 2 is done.

    I wonder if I should rename it? Ivers Dream ver. 2 is kind of lacking as far as names go...

    Well, I''ll think on it.

    Anyway, I finished tingling all the white wood around lunchtime. I figured out that if I touch one and tingle it I can use it to spread tingles to the wood it is touching. So I managed to save a lot of time since I didn''t need to personally handle every single piece of wood.

    Once it was all red and flame patterned I fused it into a solid chunk. I stretched and twisted the result. Looking for limits and finding none. I can make anything I can imagine out of this. I played with it for a few hours. Making fire red fish and blazing wooden mountains. No limits. Just how I like it!

    For now I have molded it into a rather boring galley. Dozens of tinglewood oars protrude directly from the sides of the ship. I decide to call this wood tinglewood by the way. I think its a good name. Lena says it is a dumb name, but she wanted to call it regal maple. What does that even mean? Nonsense words.

    Using these oars I attempted to row free of the current. The going was slow and getting all the oars going to the same rythmn was trickier than I thought it would be. We kept spinning in circles until I managed to pound out a tempo on the deck, and synchronize the rise and fall of the oars.

    Even then it would have taken hours if I hadn''t noticed a neat little trick. I can move my flames through the tinglewood. I noticed this when I sent a pulse of tingles through the tinglewood out of agitation. The whole bottom of theIvers Dream ver.2ignited. Sending a blast of steam up around the ship and blinding us.

    I was dazed for a second or two, and then I got really excited.

    I sent flames rocketing out of the rear of the sleek red galley and the force of their propulsion combined with the burst of steam sent us zooming through the waves. The oars became redundant, only slowing us down so I pulled them in and focused more attention on the ship.

    I could feel it. Places where the wood hadn''t smoothed properly, where the air was catching on the surface of theIvers Dream ver. 2and holding us back from our true top speed.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    I tweaked and smoothed, folded and fixed the ship until it was as sleek and fast as I could make it. Then I focused all my efforts on pressing more and more fire into the tinglewood.

    We were flying over the surface of the sea. The whole ship was coated in flames and we were leaving screeching steam in our wake. I was ecstatic. Never before had I moved so fast.

    We were a firey red splinter stabbing through the deep blue sea.

    My heart beat against my ribs as my whole existence demanded ever more speed.

    I saw the occasional ship, looking like they were standing still as we blazed past them.

    Julius was balanced on the very tip of the ship, ears flapping in the wind, and flames gouting from his fluffy back like a crimson cape. He was screaming with joy.

    Lena was at the rear, shaping the steam behind us into fantastical creatures. Here a herd of galloping beasts, there a fleet in full sail, long sea slithers swooping amongst the clouds of our passage.

    Sadly. I was eventually exhausted. I lay flat on my back on the deck. Smiling hard enough to hurt my face and laughing like a maniac. That was so much fun. I reformed the oars and we continued our journey at a more stately pace.

    I added some flourish to the ship. The wood was already patterned with flame-like images from the wood grain. I accented these lines with texture and depth. Making the red ship look like it was crafted entirely of flames.

    The sunlight sent shimmers throughout the red tinglewood. Making theIvers Dream ver.2seem to glow and shine.

    I could not be happier with this ship. I can change it whenever and however I want. I could taked this on land as a wheeled vehicle. Or form wings from its sides and try to fly. The only limit is my imagination. I could even form it into a giant man and have him carry us around. That would be cool.

    It was a few hours after we had slowed down that pirates attacked. How many pirates are there around here anyways?

    We were passing leisurely between two small islands when pirate ships hidden behind them came flocking out. They closed the channel between the islands down and were waiting on either side for us.

    Naturally, we charged the unlucky ones in front of us.

    I was confident that even if theIvers Dream ver.2took some damage I could fix it up easily. I needn''t have worried. We smashed right through the middle of the largest ship head-on. Fire and burning wood filled the air as we cut right through them. Not so much as a scratch on our vessel.

    SO AWESOME!!!

    *Sigh* yes, we proceeded to chase and sink each and every pirate ship. Leaving the pirates to swim back to the islands they had ambushed us from.

    That was fun. Julius and Lena used the swimmers as target practice. Seeing who could hit the most pirates in a single shot. Lena won, she sent a wave out and dunked a whole batch of them under.

    Today passed in a blur. I think we ate?

    I am really looking forward to tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 The Wave Waker

    Hello again. Today was... tumultuous.

    First off I had to pack away my desire for another speedy spell aboard the newly named Mirage.

    I think it is some kind of fancy hat. Lena insisted on it though, and I can''t stand to see a little girl cry.

    The reason I couldn''t go blazing through the seas today is simple. We got eaten.

    Sometime during the night some huge beast must have snuck up behind us and gobbled the Mirage up. From what I can see inside it eating ships is an old habit for this particular beastie. Shattered and rotted remnants of ships litter the greasy green ground. Slowly bubbling and melting into the muck on the floor.

    The Mirage is fine. I woke up when we were getting gulped down the creatures throat, and managed to mold the tinglewood into a ball. Keeping us safe and dry. We did get rattled around rather badly though. Only by making a suspended nest in the middle of the hollow ball out of hammocks did I manage to keep Lena and Julius from bouncing off the walls, and potentially getting battered even worse.

    No broken bones but a bruise or two on the noggin. Quite a rough way to start the day.

    Once we stopped moving I opened up a crack in the ball. An examination of our position found us inside the guts of a monster. I was content to just wait this out. The tinglewood showed no signs of damage or wear, and we have plenty of food and drink. It is just a matter of time before we are ''released'' if you know what I mean.

    Julius though, he was hopping mad! With a shriek of rage and a thump of his feet he launched a very impressive firebolt through the debris around us and into the wall. Things started moving pretty quick after that.

    The air itself ignited. Fire covered all in sight, and the great beasts guts began to tremble and undulate.

    I hurriedly reformed the tinglewood into a ball. With a flash of inspiration I protruded barbed spikes from it in all directions. Time for payback, I''ll show you for eating my ship!Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

    TheMirage moved. Slowly at first but then with greater and greater force. We settled into crash formation. I held Lena and Lena held Julius. We wrapped ourselves in blankets amidst our safety hammock nest. Soon theMirage started to really move! Roughly twenty or so massive bursts of speed and then the unmistakable sensation of flying followed by the shift into a free fall.

    The impact when we met the water nearly sent us flying from our safety hammocks.

    I peeled back a section of tinglewood in the direction that seemed up. Rain poured in and as I crawled out onto the reforming deck I could see the efficacy of the barbed spikes. Chunks of flesh speared onto them leaked a bright blue-green blood onto the red tinglewood deck. A look over the side showed the sea at storm. Massive waves swept by driving winds and pounding rain.

    All of the was dwarfed by what I can only assume is the beast that ate us. Titanic coils of slick scaled muscle loomed over the waves. They rose and fell all around us. Whipping the waves into a frightening display of frothing madness. As they stirred and shook the sea I witnessed a massive head leaving the water. Obscured by the distance and the rain all I could make out was a massive gaping maw. A great roar shook the seas. I felt it in my bones before hearing it with my ears.

    The knowledge that we had caused pain to a creature so decisively greater than us was quite unnerving. We were no larger than a scale or two on its great form.

    Then the head dived and slowly the rest of the creature followed. As the massive lengths of scaled terror disappeared the waves and winds calmed. With the last of it gone beneath the waves the storm vanished like it had never existed in the first place.

    I have decided to call this great beast the Wave Waker. I hope we never meet again.

    The day was still new so we put this behind us and set sail again. Today Julius gets to decide which way we go. He proudly took post at the helm of the ship while I cooked some of the meat from the Wave Waker.

    I found it disgusting. Slimy and bitter. But Lena is a fan. No accounting for taste I suppose. I collected the rest of it, if she likes it then there is no harm in serving it to her.

    No pirates attacked today. Just sun and sea accompanied us on our way. Julius had spotted an interesting place to explore.

    Off in the distance a great plume of smoke streaked the blue sky in gray. Julius and I are both excited to check it out. Where there is smoke, there is fun!

    The sun fell on today and we set a course and had a late dinner beneath the clear night sky. Stars shine in the waves; filling the sea with glittering ephemeral jewels of light.

    Aside from getting eaten, today was quite lovely.

    Goodnight.

 Growth

    Hello again. Today was a quiet day.

    Lena has been subdued since ever since she was freed from the pirates. She may laugh and play with Julius. But I see her stop and stare at nothing when she isn''t distracted. Memories haunt her sleep and hound her mind in quiet moments. I don''t know what she went through. But she has gotten worse since we escaped the Wave Waker.

    I think she feels helpless. She is weak, and she has been made to confront this fact a lot lately. The worst thing about feeling helpless is that there is no way to escape it on your own.

    So I decided to help her grow strong. I don''t know much. I can''t help her dominate others with intellect and knowledge. I cannot teach her misdirection and the subtle paths to power. All I know to do in the face of an obstacle is to either go smashing right through it or go in a different directon entirely.

    So I will teach her to overwhelm her problems, and I will give her a means to set her own path as she wills.

    First, I gathered an orb of tinglewood three times her size and drained my tingles out of it. I gave it to her. In the hopes that she will be able to use it to take a path untraveled and uninhabited by her enemies in the future.

    She managed to stain it all in her colors after lunch. Her tinglewood is a soft and vibrant blue-green. With gentle ripples of light forming from the wood grain.

    Next, I planned to teach her how to fight. Swordmanship, and manipulation of tingles will make up these lessons. With lessons on battlefield tactics and strategy from my own bloody memories and those of vicious pirates.

    They will focus on ambushes and sneak attacks. If she must face a enemy head on she should always choose the ground to her advantage. Never give an inch without taking a mile.

    I will teach her when to commit her forces, and when to retreat. I will show her the importance of logistics. Of maintaining a strong supply line, and of disrupting your enemies.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    How to rally your forces. How to demoralise your enemies. I will teach her the difference between winning a battle and winning a war.

    I will teach her how to hold a blade. How to hold a stance. When to block, and when to parry.

    I will teach her to kill when necessary, and show mercy when possible.

    How to make her tingles into her strongest friend and ally.

    But before I could start all that I needed to give Julius some tinglewood too. Otherwise it wouldn''t be fair.

    His tinglewood is a darker red than mine. Nearing black in places. The grain pattern is gold and resembles his ears made from fire. He quickly molded it into a little boat with a statue of himself seated on a pile of skulls forming above a throne upon which he sat.

    He started zooming around my ship and Lena took her cue from him.

    She formed a simple sleek boat with the head and feathers of a bird she calls a swan forming the prow. She and Julius started to chase each other around. Circling my ship.

    I managed to convince her to name her ship the Mirage and mine went back to being Ivers Dream I will be leaving off the ver.2 from now on. She also named Julius'' ship the Tyrant. She likes giving things weird names.

    Our three ships sailed on. They learned how to mold their ships to quickly enter theIvers Dream in case of an emergency. I made a pair of berths in the hold for their boats.

    Lenas lessons started after dinner and lasted until sundown. She is very determined. Her eyes filled with a brilliant fire when I told her my plan. When I asked if she would like to be trained she gave a steady and fierce "yes!"

    She will sleep well tonight I''ll wager. Luckily all she needs to do to ease her stiff and sore muscles and recover from any bruises is soak in some water.

    We sparred with tinglewood swords. She made her sword a huge claymore until I convinced her she should scale down on the size and weight for now. It helped my arguement when she tried to swing it and lost her balance, falling overboard. She finally settled on a wicked looking dirk. I made mine a simple curving scimitar.

    She is naturally fast and flexible so I am teaching her a style that capitilizes on surprise and attacking from awkward angles. Aiming for joints and arteries. More used to disable rather than swiftly kill. But I think this will work well with her small height and lacking muscles.

    It is hard fighting someone so much smaller than me though. She also has a nasty habit of going for the family jewels.

    She wasn''t the only one needing healing after our sparring.

    Julius is her cheerleader. Occasionally throwing sparks at my eyes to help her. This is also training for me after all.

    I only hope this helps her face the world without fear in the future.

    The stars seem to shine with more vigor than normal tonight.

    Goodnight.

 Boom

    Hello again. You know what is the best part of exploding a mountain?

    The view from where the blast launchs you.

    From up there I could see the ashy whirlpool where I got the tinglewood. The burnt islands Julius overthrew. Even the pirate fortress we started from.

    But what really takes the breath from my lungs is the wall of storms. A swirling black mass of lightning and rain splitting the world. On one side are the seas and their pirate kingdom infested islands. On the other? A mystery.

    Naturally we are going there!

    I suppose I should write about how we blew up a mountain huh? Yeah that might make sense.

    Well it all started a few days back. When Julius set a course for a huge plume of smoke. Well we arrived today.

    After breakfast I started another round of training with Lena. She is a very fast learner. Julius seems to derive great pleasure from blinding me at the worst of moments. I had my revenge though.

    I gave him a bath. Heh, he hates those.

    After apologies were exchanged we spent the next few hours fooling around, and frolicking about on our boats. We chased each other and the occasional pirate about. Julius sunk three pirate ships and has started his own loot pile. His favorite treasure is a massive soft cushion he has placed upon his throne aboard theTyrant. It is super soft and squishy.

    Lena prefers making a big wave tip the pirate ships over and then running over the escaping pirates in herMirage.She shows a lack of interest in gold and instead gathers gems. Mostly pearls. She has them adorning the neck of her swan prow and studded along the railing of theMirage.She seems to really enjoy ramming pirates.

    After lunch we saw our destination: a burning smoking mountain.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    It was so beautiful.

    Rivers of molten stone flowed down from its peak. Sending steam and smoke into the air as they enter the sea. Fires spread across the formerly lush sides of the mountain clothing the entire mountain in shades of red, orange, and black.

    We rowed our ships up a river of molten rock to reach the top. Why? Because we could.

    Julius led the way in the Tyrant while Lena and her Mirage stowed away inside the Ivers Dream. She isn''t as big a fan of fire as Julius and I.

    Not many are.

    The shimmering shivering air gave the trip up the mountain a bizzare beauty. Making distance and color shift and blur.

    I assume Julius was distracted by the oddness of it all. Because he rowed his ship into the hole on top of the mountain. He let out a surprised squeek as theTyrantwas carried beneath the earth on a red glowing river of melted minerals.I rode the flow of molten stone down after him.

    It was fun, I had to mold and shift theIvers Dreama few times to make it through some narrower passages.

    Julius was fine, just a little disoriented from his sudden fall, and munching on some glowing mushrooms when I found him. Little glutton. I was fishing the Tyrant out of the molten stone when the mountain started to rumble and shake.

    Hurriedly I snatched the Tyrant into the hold and reformed the Ivers Dream into the sturdy spiked ball of protection that worked so well before.

    Something hit the bottom of the Ivers Dream and we lurched upwards. Until we wedged into a narrow part of the tunnel our new spherical shape couldn''t pass through.

    The rumbling and shaking grew more intense. It started getting hotter and smellier. Then the rock above us gave way with a CRACK!

    We shot upwards. Until we hit the next choke point. This series of sudden stops and starts really rattled me around. Finally the last of the offending stone gave way.

    BOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!

    I seem to be around huge explosions a lot huh? Is that normal?

    We shot up so fast my vision began to turn black. I nearly passed out before that odd feeling of weightlessness surged through me. I puked from the sickening sensation.

    We began to fall. I formed a window and saw the world from a new height. Both Lena and Julius had passed out.

    The mountain was mostly gone. Just a smouldering stub left at the foot of a cloud of ash.

    We fell alongside quickly cooling stone. As we neared the fast approaching waves I molded the Ivers Dream into a sleek dagger-like shape. Cutting deep into the water before bobbing back to the surface.

    I wonder what would have happened if we had landed flat on the water?

    I checked on Julius and Lena, they were fine, before setting out for that storm wall.

    As the sun sets on another day I look forward to the adventures of tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Against the world

    Hello again.Today was a dark day.

    Literally. We barely waited for the sun to rise before charging into the storm wall. The calm seas and the raging waves were seperated unnaturally cleanly. One moment the sun was at our back and the waves were calm. The next the clouds had consumed the sun and we were swept aloft on angry crests.

    At first I simply thought we could go blazing through no problem. I severely underestimated the size of the storm wall. When I ran out of tingles we were balanced precariously on the top of a massive crest. I molded oars and frantically rowed as fast as possible just to maintain our current position. Fighting the howling wind and pounding waves for every inch of progress.

    We were taking on water. Lena was bailing it out as fast as she could. I had long lost all sense of direction. All I could do was row against the wind and crashing waves.

    Julius was miserable and wet. I sealed him and Lena inside to keep them from being blown overboard and then it was just me. Against the world. I screamed futiley and rapidly molded the Ivers Dream into any form I thought might help make some headway. Spinning wheels of paddles. Bank upon bank of oar. Hundreds of human-like wooden ars sprouted from the bottom of the ship. All flailing wildly in an attempt to move just a little further.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    When my attempts came up short I turned to nature for inspiration. I shaped my ship into a massive red sea slither. Sinuos wooden coils winding against the waves. The sleek finned form of a fish dove beneath the waves and fought the brutal currents.

    Finally I recalled my oldest friend, Wrecker. Angry waves beat futilely at the solid red shell of the Ivers Dream as her firey fins swept us through the current. No matter how the wind and waves raged. No matter how the currents shifted and pulled. She was unaffected. Unfazed by the raging of nature. We swept out of the storm, and into the twinkling salute of thousands of stars over calm waters.

    I collapsed atop the shell. Gazing at the beauty that is a clear night sky. Lena and Julius crept up and snuggled against me. Quickly passing into the lands of slumber. No doubt the little ones are as exhausted as I am. I have never felt more drained. It is torture to write this with my shaking and heavy arms but I know if I don''t I will get no rest. This has become ritual.

    I know why Wreckers form worked where the others failed. In my mind she is a being of power. An unflappable juggernaut unfazed by the worst in this world. This image of mine was carried and expressed into the tingles. Making them emulate her strength.

    Thanks Wrecker. For being indomitable.

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: Myths of the Caged Sea by scribe Aryus Ezer

    The Caged Sea is a backwards place. A section of storm sequestered waters uninhabited by any but the refuse of the world.

    Ancient texts show records of massive fleets sent by the old empires into these, at that time, completely barren waters. They seem to indicate that this was a prison or a treasury of an even older people. Who these ancients might have been, and who or what they left in the Caged Sea was never discovered.

    All fleets sent by that extinct empire never returned from the Storm Wall. It was only with the advent of air travel that these waters could be explored. The first explorers were ecstatic. Certain of finding vast treasure of untold wealth. They found naught but the shattered remnants of the ancient fleets. Spinning slowly in a vast whirlpool.

    Other than that all there was of value were swathes of small islands that showed no sign of ever being inhabited.

    In the fourth era of the Triumph, King Wendleton the first decreed these islands were to be the new home of the prisoners overflowing from his dungeons. This surfeit of prisoners rose from his infamous outlawing of song, laughter, and the color pink. He was not the most stable of kings.

    Though not the least stable either. That dubious honor is held by King Koko. He will forever be known as the king who ordered all his subjects to never touch the ground, and executed anyone he caught doing so in a bizzare and embarrasing fashion. Including, in the end, himself. He was also the first to change his name.

    These prisoners were released onto those islands and promptly forgotten. Hundreds of years passed and they formed their own distinctive cultures, mannerisms, languages, and myths.

    Here are a collection of some of the odder and newer myths these backwards and uneducated barbarians profess to believe in.

    1. The myth of the Sun Hare.

    Long ago, our forefathers were enslaved by a bloodthirsty and vicious band of pirates. These pirates were led by a man named Doggo Prim. He ordered our forefathers to gather food and goods for him. He stole everything our people loved. Our peace, our prosperity, and our women.

    One day after a great storm a little girl named Kalayata was combing the beach for debris to sell to pay for medicine for her ill mother and injured father. What she found instead was a god.

    The god had taken the form of a small hare. But there was no mistaking its divinity. A holy warmth and glow akin to the sun itself surrounded the hare.

    Kalayata was a very smart little girl. She immediately prostrated herself and begged the god for help.

    To this day no one knows what price the god asked of Kalayata. For such a thing is between the two of them alone. To ask would be to agree to bear the price as well.

    By the end of the week there was not a single pirate alive on their island. Nearby villages sent messengers saying that their islands too had been cleansed of the pirate scourge.

    Doggo Prim gathered the remnants of his crews at his great castle. He tried to face the power of a with a mere two hundred pirates. The scorched stones of Doggos Keep tell their own story of his failure.

    END

    To this day Kalayatas family is revered and the Sun Hare is worshipped by every Islander within three days sailing. The remnants of the "Sun Hares" rampage have become a site of pilgrimage. The church of the long ear is one of the strongest factions currently active in the Caged Sea.

    2. The legend of the Leviathan.

    These waters are ancient, and ancient things still hunt their depths.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    The greatest of all these beings is the mighty Leviathan.

    The Ship Devourer. The Mad Sea. The Sky Breaker.

    Leviathan.

    So vast is this being, that it can swallow fleets whole.

    So vicious is this being, that the sky breaks before its roar.

    So evil is this being, that the sea itself goes mad trying to escape it.

    The Broken Vow. The Stolen Crown. The End.

    Leviathan.

    Betrayed was it. When the world was new.

    It was promised a palace. It recieved a prison.

    It sows madness. It reaps lives.

    Leviathan.

    END

    This tale is told in hushed whispers by old sailors and pirates to their younger brethren. I scoffed upon hearing it and was thrown from the tavern. Summarily I was ousted from the inn I was staying at, and then chased off of the island altogether. They take this "Leviathan" very seriously hereabouts.

    3. The Ghost Fireship

    So, there I was. Just gotten caught sneaking some extra rum rations by the bosun so I was swabbing the deck, and nursing my freshly whipped back. Now at that time I was aboard theRotted Plankcaptained by that scrub Wheaslock. He was a bad captain, aye I''ll say it, too free with the cat, and not free enough with the food.

    Anyrate, there I was swabbing that dirty deck when I saw it. A flash of blazing red. Sped by theRotted Plankat full sail like we was sailing backwards. A wave of heat hit us and the sails started to smoke. Poor Jimboy was looking directly at it. Cooked his eyes in his skull. He never saw that coming.

    Now if that wasn''t bad enough the flash had left a train of ghosts in its wake. Writhing phantoms rose from the water it had passed through. Distorted men and beasts. Wretched tortured souls I tell you.

    I need another drink just recalling it. Ah, thankee sir. *gulp*

    Now I know you ain''t just gonna believe me. So go ask old Gus the same thing you asked me. We ain''t the only ones seen it. Dozens of us ole timers saw it. Ask around; you''ll see.

    END

    I got this tale off of an old drunk at a port tavern while waiting for my ship to get restocked. I did ask around. Dozens of corroberating witnesses. All with eerily similar tales.

    It could be just a hoax to get free beer from travelers though.

    4. Grave of the Wave Wolves.

    There was once a true ruler of these waters. The Wave Wolves were the uncontested kings of the pirates.

    It wasn''t just that they had better ships and were uncannily capable of slipping away when you thought you had finally caught them. No, what made then great was their hidden bases, and their Grave. See the Wave Wolves were the militant arm of an ancient tribe of witches and sorcerers.

    They weaved an unnatural and powerful magic upon the Wave Wolves. See, when a Wave Wolf dies they can somehow pass on their memories. This means that every damn new recruit can sail, fight, and pillage like a veteran.

    The end of the Wave Wolves was as mysterious as their Grave. They got caught in an ambush by an alliance of smaller pirate crews. Nothing that they hadn''t survived before. A few of their ships limped away, and everyone assumed they would be back after some recruiting. They never appeared again.

    The pirate alliance fell apart faster than a whores good looks in a rainstorm.

    They wiped each other out. The only ones who knew the Wave Wolves last heading had gone and killed each other hoping to be the one to find their Grave.

    Thousands of pirates have gone looking for the Wave Wolves Grave since then. None have succeeded. Every island has been combed over a hundred times. But those craft devils had always managed to stay hidden before, and they managed to stay hidden even to this day.

    END

    Drivel. It is impossible to preserve memories after death. The greatest academics and most famous wise men have sought such a thing for centuries. Eager to be able to pass on their great knowledge whole to their students in the future. None have succeeded.

    5. Dragon egg island.

    There once was an island with a volcano. One day this volcano began to smoke and the locals abandoned it in fear off being destroyed by the its eruption.

    For days and days the volcano smoked and smouldered. Filling the sky with smoke and the stench of rotted eggs.

    A few brave young men had stayed near the island to watch the eruption and tell the rest if their village was salvagable.

    These young men were the ones who saw the dragon be born from the volcano.

    With a mighty shudder and boom that sent the sea into turmoil the island was destroyed entirely. Barely anything remained about the water.

    But the young men were not looking at the remains of their old home. NO, their eyes had been caught by a great red egg that had been sent into the sky by the volcano.

    As they watched. This egg opened and a sleek red form emerged shorly before diving into the sea on the far side of the island.

    From that day forth their former island home became known as Dragon Egg Island.

    Many have searched high and low. Hoping to find a fragment of dragon eggshell or even the dragon itself. But none have succeeded.

    END

    A simple and short story told around fires to entertain children. No doubt these ignorants have no concept of pyroclastics. Dragons, what utter nonsense.

    These are some of the local myths of the barbarians of the Caged Sea.

    In my next paper I shall discuss the mating habits of the common snoring snail, and its less common relative the roaring snail.

    Aryus Ezer.

 Rocket ship

    Hello again. Today things escalated quickly.

    Here is how it went. I was lazing about enjoying the sun on the shell of the Wrecker inspired Ivers Dream. Julius was tooling about in his Tyrant.

    The Tyrant is currently shaped like a stout little caravel. Ten foot carlin, or length from fore to aft at the longest point. Five foot beam, or width at the widest point. Five foot draft, or distance between the keel and the waterline.

    This makes the Tyrant an extremely stout and stable ship. Perfect for when Julius wants to launch a barrage of fireballs, or even himself at a passing flock of screeching seabirds. He really likes chasing them through the sky and setting their tail feathers on fire. He still just bumbles about with his little insect wings. So it is only when his little fluffy tail ignites, and sends him rocketing into a flock that he is any threat to the birds.

    He''ll normally snag one or two on each pass. Just for fun though. Julius doesn''t eat meat.

    Meanwhile Lena was cruising in her Mirage. The Mirage is a sleek little thing. Twelve foot carlin, three foot beam, and two foot draft. Must longer and slimmer than the Tyrant.

    Gleaming blue wood and pearls reflect the sun and she makes waves and currents sweep the Mirage about the ocean. Graceful and beautiful. If she couldn''t tame the waves I doubt the Mirage would handle them. As it is the water around Lenas ship is calm and flat. Truly it looked like a fairy. Flitting about a different world, and glimpsed for just a second through a mystic glass.

    Anyway, the little ones were playing, I was relaxing, and all seemed right with the world.

    Then the sun was blocked out. High above us there floated two large boats in the sky. Skyboats. Different from ours these had big bubbles of some kind of shiny material on either side, and caught in nets above them.

    Two flags waved in the air behind them. One a deep blue with a golden series of waves upon which a silver throne rested. The other scarlet with three black triangles surrounding an identical silver throne.

    As the two skyboats were passing overhead they kept together. Heading in the same direction, and with possibly the same destination.

    Julius picked this moment to go rocketing at a possibly particularily insolent flock of squawking white and gray sea birds. As he passed below the skyboats a net was fired out of the red flagged one at high speeds. It swooped down and grabbed the whole flock. Julius included.

    He and the panicking birds were reeled up to the skyboat and the net disappeared over the side. Shortly after, smoke and feathers started to drift behind the red flagged skyboat. I could hear panicked shouting even all the way down on the ocean. I flew up to retrieve my little trouble making companion.

    When I arrived on the deck of the red flagged skyboat the whole thing was engulfed in flames. Screaming men and birds scampered and flapped about spreading chaos and fire behind them. Julius was kicking the snot out of some poor fellow with lots of shiny buttons of his jacket and a huge moustache.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    On the blue flagged skyboat the gawping crew were only now springing into action. Setting little boards across the distance between the two, and urging the non-flamey red flag crew across to safety.

    I scooped up Julius and leapt off of the side of the red flagged skyboat facing the blue flagged skyboat.

    I was not expecting the shiny bubble to burst as I hit it. My plan was simply to bounce off and glide back down to our boats. Sadly I had failed to take Julius'' avaricious nature into account. He had snatched the gem encrusted saber out of the moustache mans scabbard with his teeth as I scooped him up.

    It may have looked decorative but someone had been keeping that blade very very sharp indeed. It punctured the bubble easily.

    This resulted in the burning red flagged skyboat losing balance, and crashing into the poor blue flagged skyboat at its side. As we landed back on our ships I watched the two burning skyboats drift away until the ropes holding them to the bubbles burned away. They then both dropped into the ocean with a massive smash.

    I was preparing to sail over to the still burning wrecks to look for survivors. When something aboard the red skyboat exploded. This explosion sent shrapnel flying in all directions, and triggered a second identical explosion from the blue skyboat.

    I felt kind of bad about it but I had to put Julius in a timeout. He might have been acting in self defense but still. Destroying two skyboats, and killing everyone on board is a clear overreaction. It was clearly an accident when he was netted, and the perpetrators were way to clean to be pirates.

    He sulked but he needs to learn that mayhem and slaughter are actions with consequences.

    Why do I kind of feel like a hypocrite right now?

    Hm, anyway, I was planning on making his favorite glowfruit and firemoss flambe tonight as a reward for not directly attacking the blue skyboat. That one was an accident, and I hate it when his ears droop like that.

    Ugh, am I being to soft on him?

    I say I was planning on making it because shortly after the second explosion, and Julius'' timeout, more red and blue flagged skyboats showed up.

    First they circled the wreckage and debris. Then they spotted us.

    The started shooting glowing balls at us. When those balls hit the ocean they sent up gouts of steam and hot spray. I tucked the Tyrant and Mirage in their docking ports and had Julius and Lena mold them into spheres for ease of storage and transport.

    Then I molded the Ivers Dream into a hollow sphere. I opened hundreds of holes in its sides and soon it was flooded besides a little reinforced bubble on top I had the little ones and their ships tucked into for safety. Because what I had planned was a terribly fun idea.

    Now that the Ivers Dream was full of water and mostly submerged I sealed all the holes and opened a new one on the bottom. I angled the hole until it was on the far side of the sphere from the closest skyboat. Then I threw as many tingles as I could muster as fast as possible at the water inside the Ivers Dream.

    The rapidly expanding steam had only one exit and as it blasted out of that exit we were launched directly into the skyboat I had aimed at. Maintaining the safety bubble we were nestled in I molded the rest of the tingle wood into tentacles and roots and grabbed on to the ship from the crater we had made in its bottom.

    I crushed it. Rupturing the bubbles on the side and cutting loose the one above.

    As the skyboat fell from the sky I molded all of the tentacles into one single long one. Using this I snagged another skyboat. Dragged myself up to it. And then crushed it in the same fashion.

    I kept repeating this. Soon falling into a rythmn. Snag, drag, grab, crush. Snag, drag, grab, crush. So on and so forth until not a single skyboat was left.

    Then I sent a blast of fire at each one of the downed skyboats as the floundered in the waves. Ivers Dream navigating between the unweildly things easily.

    Like the previous ones. Once the fire reached a certain spot in the middle of the skyboat they blew up.

    *POPOPOPOPOPOPOPEW*

    Loads of fun that. Though Lena did send me to timeout for overreacting.

    Worth it.

    Then we had a small feast as we sailed away from the carnage.

    All in all. I think it was a good day. Clear skies, adventure, the thrill of combat, and nobody got hurt.

    Well, nobody important anyway.

    Goodnight.

 Wanderers wonderings.

    Hello again. Lena had a nightmare last night.

    I was jerked from my slumber by her sobbing screams. I don''t think the training is helping as much as I had hoped it would. She is acting more confident, but I fear it is just act. I spent the hours before sunrise holding her and trying to think of a way to help her.

    I can''t think of anything. If I have faced troubles severe enough to make me fear as she does then I have been lucky enough to forget them. The best I can do is protect her and teach her to protect herself. Julius is a great distraction when she is awake, but she is alone in her dreams.

    It tears me apart that I can''t help her more. I think she needs something or someone else to help her through this. Or maybe time will help. Tonight I will see if I can''t find a way to safeguard he dreams with my tingles. They have seen me through most troubles. May this be another one.

    In other news a great fish has started following our little flotilla. It is a great big thing. Grey-black hide and way more teeth than are necessary. I was going to fry it for supper, but the darn thing seems to have an uncanny knack for avoiding harm.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

    Whenever Julius or I intend to roast it, down it hides beneath the waves. Lena smacked the smirk off of it with a flock of underwater birds. They have spikes of ice where beaks go, and tore up its hide some. Blood in the water is hypnotic. Watching it swirl and spread draws my eye, and brings an ache to the back of my head.

    Since then the fish has kept its distance. I still caught glimpses of its ominous back fin cutting the air occasionally.

    More birds overhead every day I swear. The bring Julius much fun. The fish gobbles up any he knocks to the water below. I wonder if it isn''t this trail of downed birds that brought us our finned stalker.

    Is this how Julius gets a pet? If it keeps following us, and doesnt take a snap at us, I guess he can keep it.

    No more skyboats today. I wonder where they came from anyway? Are we near land? I can''t wait to get back on land. Sailing is fun and all but I miss walking. That sore sensation in your feet from a good day of seeing new lands. That sense of adventure, wondering what is over that next hill, and behind that next bend in the river. The ocean is pretty, but I am really sick of water, water, water all day long.

    And fish gets old fast. I only have two seasonings. Salt and firemoss. Salt is easy to get from the sea. It tastes a little fishy, but then, so does the fish. Those chunks of the Wave Waker are all going to Lena. She gobbles them up like they are the greatest of treats. Gross.

    Well, that was today. Lena is worrying me, Julius may have gotten a pet fish, and I am looking forward to walking on land again.

    Goodnight.

 Wanderers wonderings.

    Hello again. Lena had a nightmare last night.

    I was jerked from my slumber by her sobbing screams. I don''t think the training is helping as much as I had hoped it would. She is acting more confident, but I fear it is just act. I spent the hours before sunrise holding her and trying to think of a way to help her.

    I can''t think of anything. If I have faced troubles severe enough to make me fear as she does then I have been lucky enough to forget them. The best I can do is protect her and teach her to protect herself. Julius is a great distraction when she is awake, but she is alone in her dreams.

    It tears me apart that I can''t help her more. I think she needs something or someone else to help her through this. Or maybe time will help. Tonight I will see if I can''t find a way to safeguard he dreams with my tingles. They have seen me through most troubles. May this be another one.

    In other news a great fish has started following our little flotilla. It is a great big thing. Grey-black hide and way more teeth than are necessary. I was going to fry it for supper, but the darn thing seems to have an uncanny knack for avoiding harm.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    Whenever Julius or I intend to roast it, down it hides beneath the waves. Lena smacked the smirk off of it with a flock of underwater birds. They have spikes of ice where beaks go, and tore up its hide some. Blood in the water is hypnotic. Watching it swirl and spread draws my eye, and brings an ache to the back of my head.

    Since then the fish has kept its distance. I still caught glimpses of its ominous back fin cutting the air occasionally.

    More birds overhead every day I swear. The bring Julius much fun. The fish gobbles up any he knocks to the water below. I wonder if it isn''t this trail of downed birds that brought us our finned stalker.

    Is this how Julius gets a pet? If it keeps following us, and doesnt take a snap at us, I guess he can keep it.

    No more skyboats today. I wonder where they came from anyway? Are we near land? I can''t wait to get back on land. Sailing is fun and all but I miss walking. That sore sensation in your feet from a good day of seeing new lands. That sense of adventure, wondering what is over that next hill, and behind that next bend in the river. The ocean is pretty, but I am really sick of water, water, water all day long.

    And fish gets old fast. I only have two seasonings. Salt and firemoss. Salt is easy to get from the sea. It tastes a little fishy, but then, so does the fish. Those chunks of the Wave Waker are all going to Lena. She gobbles them up like they are the greatest of treats. Gross.

    Well, that was today. Lena is worrying me, Julius may have gotten a pet fish, and I am looking forward to walking on land again.

    Goodnight.

 Beach, please

    Hello again. Today was lots of fun!

    We hit land today! A few hours after sunrise we saw the first sign of land. An uneven and unmoving horizon that slowly became clearer. White bright sand dunes speckled with grass and the occasional stunted tree. The sands run back a ways from the shore leading into a grassy boggy flood plain. Where the tall grass hides singing birds and skulking lizards.

    Behind the flood plain stand tall hills. Silent sentinels crowned with tall trees, and split by rivers. Rivers that sweep down them, and cut through the plain before reaching their end in the ocean.

    I sailed theIvers dreamdirectly at the beach. Grounding my ship directy in the sand before I leapt headfirst into the, harder than it first looks, sand.

    Julius directly molded hisTyrantinto a giant wooden mimickery of himself. Complete with a crown on its head. It is cute but it lacks fluffiness in my opinion.

    Lena sailed herMirage up the river before molding it into a great blue serpent and slithering onto the beach.

    Almost immediately their gazes clashed and a great battle between rabbit and snake started to play out on the beach. Julius sent fire cascading in all directions as his battle bunny hopped, kicked, and spit pure fury upon the world. Lena played it cool. Ice and mist concealing her sneaky snake as she slithered about looking for an angle to launch a decisive strike from.

    As the little ones played I was working my bare toes deep into the sand. I had missed the sensation of dirt so very much. That cleansing grit. That calming stability. How it doesn''t move unless you make it.

    Lena managed to entangle Julius and the two went smashing through a dune into the flood plains.

    I molded theIvers Dreaminto a bunch of balls the size of my head. Then I tucked most of them into my satchel and the rest I turned into a sunshade. As I relaxed on the warm sand and munched on some of the snacks and goodies I had pilfered from Francis'' so long ago I cheered on my two friends.

    Julius had by now ignited the entirety of the grassy plains. Aside from the rivers of course. There Lena rallied her moral, and sent waves of water to assail Julius'' firey forces. Steam rose into the sky. Julius must have gotten impatient because his battle bunny began ripping huge chunks of land up and damming the rivers.

    This annoyed Lena and she cut new channels with streams of water. These new channels were also dammed by Julius, but they had simply been a distraction.

    The underground channels she had been digging at the same time came to fruition. Julius was surrounded by water and then Lena cut the ground out from under him. The battle bunny sank into the muddy waters. Then they began to boil.

    Steam once more shot into the air. Lean gathered it into a screen and hid her snake inside. Julius came rocketing out of the drying soil and shot directly into the cloud. Lena had been waiting and she condensed the cloud while also freezing it.

    Julius was caught in a ice prison.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    For about three seconds.

    Lena can sure outmaneuver Julius, but she can''t outmuscle him. They declared it a tie because neither could catch the other. Julius was to hotheaded, and Lena lacked firepower.

    Then we made forts out of sand and all three of us engaged in a battle royale. Trying to catch the others tinglewood flag at their base, and protect our own only using little men made of fire and water, and weapons made from tinglewood.

    I had made a simple hill and wall fortifiction on top of a dune, but I had surrounded my main fort with numerous smaller forts. Any attempt to reach my main base would result in being surrounded and ambushed from the rear.

    Julius built a massive square fort. High walls reinforced with glassed sand ward off assailants as his horde went to war. Simple, but effective.

    Lena had played to her strengths and put her back to the ocean. A deep and wide moat sheltered her intricate and beautiful base from our firey intrusion. Beautiful ice walls surrounded her glittering ice and white sand base.

    I had finished my base first. So I marched my regiments of small fire men into the middle ground. Armed with tiny tinglewood spears and shields. I began digging trenches with them. Determined to make any attempt on my base a long slogging war of attrition. Since I had the highest stamina amog us I was sure I could win such a challenge.

    Julius was second. From his base came wave after wave of fire beasts. Claws and fangs of his own tinglewood reflecting the firelight as they roared in defiance of my defences. They charged my men in the trenches, and smashed right through my first two lines of defence.

    As expected of Julius. His forces are certainly explosive. I flanked him with the survivors from the first two lines and as his creations lost steam they were surrounded and cut down.

    The tinglewood was returned to him. This was just a game after all.

    Finally Lena came onto the field. Small squads off glittering ice women spread across the field of battle. Armed with blue swords and daggers. Threatening both mine and Julius'' flanks. A standstill developed. Skirmishing and positioning began. I kept digging trenches. Determined to make this a battle of endurance.

    Julius finally decided to go all out. All his forces left his base and a brutal crazy charge was launched. He seemed to want to wipe me and Lena off of the field in one fell swoop before turning to hammer our bases. Sadly, he never even got the chance.

    A squad of Lenas ice women came tunneling out from under Julius'' base, and snatched his tinglewood flag as soon as he had abandoned his base.

    The same thing was attempted at my base and nearly succeeded. Lena was being tricky.

    Julius was enraged and his horde went screaming towards Lenas base. She drowned them in a tiny tidal wave from her moat. The survivors were mopped up by the converged squads of ice women she had been forming behind Julius'' forces.

    While she was busy with that I sent my first attack. A legion of fire soldiers marched on the crystal city. I was sure to wipe out any ice squads they saw. When they reached the moat I simply reformed the shields and spears into rafts and paddles. A few of my troops got destroyed by her waves and a ice sea serpent monster, but we landed and the seige was on.

    Until the troops I had sent through the same tunnel she had dug popped out inside her base and captured her flag.

    Victory is mine!

    By that time the sun was going down so we had a feast of fish, and fresh green grass with a side of firemoss for julius. No hard feelings were held and we laughed and played in the sand until the sun was long gone. As it sunk I replaced its light with a great big fire.

    I started dancing with a fire lady in my festive mood. Lena summoned her own dance partner from the ocean and they danced a lively and uncoordinated jig around the fire. Julius summoned a flock of firey butterflies and led them on a merry chase around the dancers. He leapt and spun in their midst. Clearly happy to join in the fun.

    Why were we so happy tonight?

    I suppose it was finally being off the water for me. I had never truly relaxed ever since I saw the Wave Waker. Who knows what other horrors lurk beneath those cold waves. Or on the land I suppose. Still, I am more comfortable on land, and I suppose me relaxing and having fun has caught the little ones in my merry mood.

    Not that they really need a reason to have fun. But an excuse is always nice to have.

    Today was so much fun!

    Goodnight.

 Hidden eyes

    Hello again. Today I felt like we were being watched.

    It started shortly after we had crawled out of the little shelter I had molded with tinglewood. We were just finishing breakfast when I felt a shiver run down my spine.

    I shot to my feet and a wave of fire exploded behind me. Nothing was there.

    Julius and Lena both gave me an odd look before they also shot up and sent a similar blast behind them. I guess they wanted to try it out and see if it was fun. They seemed disappointed it was not.

    Since then I would occasionally feel eyes on me. When we climbed the hill behind the now battle scarred flood plains they got much worse. When we stepped beneath the trees I felt an almost crippling dread. I was sweating and panting. Something was wrong and we were in danger. I was sure of it.

    Despite my certainty, nothing happened. We walked through forested hills. Deeper and deeper into the greenery. Leafy branchs of oaks and maples swayed overhead. Blocking out the sun, and shading the day. Small rivers spiderwebbed through the hills. Meeting and splitting frenetically before they converged into the streams that touched the ocean.

    I sweated and started from every moving branch and snapped twig. Fire snapped at darting figures only to find squirrels and birds. My eyes scanned the woods frantically. Desperate to identify the cause of my distress. The deeper into the woods we walked the larger my disquiet loomed.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    Julius and Lena had picked up on my discomfort and stayed close. I had tucked most of their tinglewood in my satchel. Intending to enjoy the simple exercise of walking. What was left was a gaudy little crown tucked between Julius'' ears. A dirk at Lenas hip and a pearled diadem on her brow, and a long and sturdy walking staff in my sweaty grip.

    Julius may have stayed close to me but he was very interested in sampling every bush, grass, and berry. He found a few he particularily liked so I kept an eye out for them and gathered them for his future meals.

    Lena for her part was fascinated by the trees and the critters in them. Forests where she came from were jealously guarded resources. No one was allowed near them and trespassers faced severe reprisals. The poor squirrels I hadn''t roasted got chased into chittering red and gray blurs by the watery counterparts Lena made. She seemed more interested in the chase than the catch.

    She was also deeply interested in the frogs and turtles that swam in the streams. Scooping up particularily interesting specimens and bringing them over to show me. She must have found a hundred different kinds of frogs and a dozen kinds of turtles. She became covered in mud and slime. Nothing she couldn''t wash off with her tingles though.

    Now I had begun to consider simply flying away, or at the very least pulling out all the tinglewood we had to craft a mobile fortress. What stopped me was a firey wave of stubbornness. I would not yield my path to some hidden horror. Some skulking spectre. I will do what I want and anyone or anything that tries to stop me will burn for it.

    All my fear and determination were proved fruitless and exhausting emotional labors. The sun has set. Dinner has been eaten, and the little ones are snoozing away from the long walk.

    Maybe I was simply being overly imaginative and sensitive?

    Goodnight.

 The Witch in the woods

    Hello. I was right!

    We were being watched. After we woke up and had breakfast we set out. It didn''t take long before our path led us into a narrow highsided valley. Ancient oaks lined the top of the steep hills and some smaller ones had grown in the valley below.

    When we reached the center of this chokepoint everything attacked. I mean that literally. The ground at our feet opened up and tried to swallow us. The grass we walked on wound itself around our feet and held us. The hillsides swept in to crush us. The old and young oaks roots ripped from the ground and they whipped their roots and branches at us while they came crashing down the hillside.

    I even saw a flower punch Julius in the nose.

    Naturally we resisted. Fire and blades of water and ice split and seared the earth and plants. The plants regenerated just as fast as we destroyed them and the glassed and frozen sections of earth were swallowed and replaced. I lost track of time as a feverish battle to escape the very earth itself ensued.

    I saw Julius go down under a wave of dirt. Lena got swallowed by an oak. Then I saw a branch grow larger faster than I could react. And it was over. We had been captured.

    When I woke up I was hanging from roots in an underground dirt walled cave. My satchel and tinglewood staff were gone. I started to summon my tingles when I felt something very sharp press against either side of my head. I was trapped pretty damn well.

    Lena and Julius were likewise trussed up. Julius in a little ball cage with thorns that threatened to crush him. And Lena like me hanging from roots by her arms and with what appear to be spears pressed to either side of her head. I am assuming that I had the same doodads as she did.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    We heard shuffling feet and the thump of wood on wood approach. A shadow loomed at the only entrance to the room and a spine chilling cackle ripped the air to shreds.

    "Kahahahah! Quite an interesting read this!" Squawked our captor. Brandishing MY journal as she approached.

    She entered the room and I caught my first look at our foe. An ancient looking lady. Stooped and wizened with cheerful eyes and a head of fluffly white curls. I was expecting someone more diabolical looking. She was supporting herself with a gnarled old walking stick. All in all she didn''t look like a threat.

    Which made the gut churning horror and wild desperation to escape that ran amok inside my head all the more horrifying.

    She may not look like much. But this kindly old woman was setting my instincts on fire. Escape! They screamed. Bite off your own arm if you must but GET OUT OF HERE!!!

    Suddenly my dread vanished. I opened my eyes that had been screwed shut in panic, and saw that the old woman was right in my face peering at me curiously.

    "Well now." she whispered. "Not many have such a reaction to me these days. I read your journal, just who were you my friend?" I don''t know if she expected an answer but after a second of leaden silence she turned away and walked to the center of the room.

    "I will let you all down if you all give me your word you will not attack me or mine." She said with a cheerful and calming smile on her wrinkled face. I nodded. I had no interest in doing anything to this monster before us. Lena nodded as well and Julius let out a despondent squeak.

    The roots loosened and I fell to the dirt. My arms burning and tingling with pained numbness. Lena was similarily let go and Julius'' cage disintegrated. "W-Who are you?" Lena whimpered. I perked my ears up, interested in this mysterious old lady as well.

    "Nowadays folk just call me Gramma Gimple." She answered, still smiling calmly. "Now then little one, save your questions for tomorrow. It''s been a long day for all of us, and I expect the poison will have made you all rather exhausted. Follow me to your rooms and we will talk in the morning." She turned and slowly walked away.

    I guess we had been poisoned? Though I had no memory of the event I was certainly tired. Gramma Gimple gave me back my satchel and journal and now that I have finished cataloguing todays events I will give in to my exhaustion.

    Goodnight.

 Asking for directions

    Hello again. Today was a fruitful day.

    Gramma Gimple is a nice old lady with the strength of a monster and the eye of a merchant. She seemed quite interested in my satchel and the tinglewood therein. Specifically the walking staff I had molded yesterday.

    She bargained and dickered with me over delicious tea and cookies inside her tree trunk home.

    First she asked for the satchel in exchange for a map of the world which I refused. I was not interested in the world. Besides, I quite like wandering aimlessly. Call it a weakness of mine but if I knew where I was going I would be far less interested in going there.

    Then she asked for the whole of my tinglewood supply for a map of various treasures. Julius perked right up but I refused again. Tinglewood already is a treasure after all. Why trade a treasure you own for one you might possibly find in the future? Assuming nobody else has stumbled across it since Gramma Gimple found it.

    Finally she bargained for the walking staff in exchange for directions to a city and a place to stay there. I accepted. Lenas face grew cautiously upbeat at the mention of a city. I think she wants this, badly. Personally I have no interest in going to civilization but Lena deserves a break. Maybe this will help her with the nighmares?If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    I am thankful she didn''t decide to just kill us and steal our possessions. Turns out if she had killed us she would have had to wait for a very long time for our tingles, or Aether as she calls it, to vacate the tinglewood. If she bargains for it then I will draw out my tingles and there you go. Nice and easy.

    I will still call them tingles. It just sounds better. Aether. Just sounds gross. And boring.

    So Gramma Gimple gets a fancy new walking stick, capable of actually walking, and we get a wee dirt golem to guide us and introduce us to Gramma Gimples friend. Lena asked a lot of questions about the old lady. ''Who are you, how did you get so strong, who is your friend, does the golem have a name?'' and more I am sure I missed.

    Gramma Gimple dogded most of her questions though. "Why dearie, I am just an old woman, I got so strong because I always eat my vegetables, my friend is my friend, and this is Harry." Then she successfully distracted Lena and Julius with Harry. Making the vaguely human-shaped clod of dirt do dances and acrobatic stunts which they tried to mimic.

    After a lunch of something called casserole and pie we set out. Following Harry into the much less threatening woods. We should be reaching the city tomorrow. I am nervous but Lena is super excited to see more people. I fear I may have been unintentionally harming her by always being alone.

    I hope Gramma Gimple is one of a few rather than the norm here. I don''t think my heart could take it if I find a whole city of monsters like her.

    Dinner was a wolf who got cocky. Didn''t taste great either.

    Tomorrow we will be in a city. Hope it goes better than last time.

    Goodnight.

 The House of Dancing Wings

    Hello again. Today was so long.

    We followed the trundling wee dirt golem Harry through the woods from sun up. He lead us through the lightening woods, and into the first sign of civilization. Orchards, tucked into little valleys or spreading across hilltops. Fruit bearing trees ringed by fences, and with the farmers houses tucked beside them.

    Interspersed among the orchards are occasional vineyards. Long trellises threaded with heavy vines lined up into neat lines along the hillsides. Stoic men and women tend their fields in the early morning light. None seem interested in our little group. Though I do see a young woman or two eyeing Julius as he rested on top of my head.

    All these farms are tucked quietly in the woods. Surrounded by old trees and flourishing brush. Harry leads us up a tall hill and we catch our first view of the city of Papil. A port city, Papil is spread around a bay and cut in two by a river delta. Ships are sailing about the bay. Some coming in to the docks to unload goods from distant lands. Others simply local fishermen with the morning catch.

    On the near bank of the river a huge boulder dominates the center of the city. It is mirrored by a twin boulder on the far side of the river. Seeming like the eyes on the wings of a moth or butterfly. On top of these monoliths sit twin fortresses. High walls rise from the stone. Towers jut proudly into the sky festooned with banners and streamers.

    Squatting beneath these fortresses are two seemingly diametrically opposed cities.

    On the far bank stand tall stone buildings. Gleaming metal can be seen from where we are, and wide roads cut straight lines through the city. Polished stone mansions with roofs all in the same shade of midnight blue stand in steady lines. There is an air of efficiency about the whole thing. As if not a single hair is out of place in the entire city. It is still, almost seeming dead if not for the smoke from cook fires rising from chimneys.

    On the near bank sits a chaotic mess of haphazrdously slapped together wooden constructs. Colorful paints seem to have been used to clean up the ugly mess, but the riot of colors gouge the eye and tire the mind. Twisting roads wind maddeningly through this mess. On the shore rest the warehouses. Large wood buildings. The only sign that order and reason are still in use on that side of the river. Wide dirt roads cut through the chaos and along these wagons move. Hauling supplies to and from the ships and warehouses and who knows where else.

    Connecting these two oddly different cities into one are three islands. They sit in the river, the largest connected to both side by a full dozen bridges and housing a fortress of similar design to the rock topped ones.

    The next largest one holds an odd bowl-like building and has six bridges connecting it t the city. Three on either side.

    The smallest is hidden from view by a wall of mist. Two bridges lead to it.

    Surrounding all of this is a long, high, and thick wall. Massive towers sit on either side of the river and bay. Smaller ones stand at even intervals along its dark grey length.

    Harry led us to the gate in the wall. Six men in worn and slightly rusted armor sit and stand outside a wide open gate. One saw us walking towards them and lumbered over, leaving his spear behind.

    "Entry? Three coppa apiece, one fer tha rodent." He grunted at us, scratching at a matted beard. I always burn off my own stubble. Beards are so itchy. Harry produced the coinage as requested, and led us past the gallery of gawkers who call themselves soldiers. Pathetic.

    Into the mindboggling maze of color and people Harry led us. I would have gotten lost immediately. Glad I traded the tinglewood for a guide. He led us past beggars and hawkers. Butchers and bakers. Cobblers and candlestick makers. Lots of small businesses and restaurants tucked into these little brighly painted houses.

    We followed Harry. Lena was everywhere, touching everything and talking to everyone. I followed in a daze. Half deaf and mostly blind from all the noise and confusion a large gathering of people bring. Dwarven street gangs etching kneehigh gangsigns in alleys. Elven bards and sailors carousing in taverns. Human merchants shouting out deals and swatting flies and the odd thief.

    Some little shit actually laid their hand on my satchel! I torched his hand into charcoal and left him screaming in the crowd. Nobody else tried after that.

    Harry led us through the entire city. Finally we reached our destination. The little mist enshrouded island. A sign indicated the island was called''Heaven'' odd name that. We crossed the bridge and entered the mist.

    On the other side were odd looking buildings. Porches and balconies lined the dim streets. Multi-tiered towers reached into the mist. But all of them appeared more decorative than defensive. Dark alleys between the buildings were littered with unconcious men. Most of them quite naked. I covered Lenas eyes.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

    The buildings all had weird names too.House of Blooming Roses, House of Midnight Dreams, House of Tempted Souls, House of Jade Hands, House of Broken Hearts, House of Firey Eyes.Lots more too. Finally Harry led us to theHouse of Dancing Wings. it was the largest building I had seen on this island so far, and seemed pretty impressive. Where other houses had open doors and balconies theHouse of Dancing Wingshad closed metal bound gates and high sturdy walls.

    Banners of a golden butterfly on lilac hung on either side of the gate. Harry knocked on the gate and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. Then he knocked again. Much louder this time. Muffled grumbles came into earshot and a small woman with angry eyes opened the door.

    "We are closed during the day you idiots! Come back at night if you want to try your luck!" She was glaring at me, seeming to think I had been the dastardly door knocker. Harry tugged on her pants legs and she thankfully transferred that glare to him. I was glad I could breathe again.

    Harry reached into his chest and pulled out a letter stamped with a lilac butterfly.

    The small woman choked and sputtered upon seeing it. I gave her a smack on the back to help. She glared at me again.

    Why!?

    Still glaring, and now muttering under her breathe too, she led us inside.

    Small trees lined a smooth riverstone path that wound its way up a small hill to a light purple building. This compound was much larger than I had expected. It was still partially hidden in the ever present mist. Ahead la another smaller set of purple walls they were quite high. Two large dark red laquered doors with balck metal fittings stood in the middle of the purple wall. The small angry woman pushed them open with a grunt. What lay inside these walls was a garden. Decorative shrubs and ponds were lined by small stone foot paths. These paths meandered through the garden. Three gazebos were nestled inside the garden. A wider stone path followed the rectangular walls around the idyllic garden, and it was on these that our grumpy guide led us.

    At the back of the garden was a pale purple building. It was still inside the second wall. This one seemed like the rest of the others outside of the two sets of walls. Open covered porch with a balcony above it. Many windows and densely covered in decorative artwork. Seeming more like artwork than shelter. Inside we were sat at a little table and the angry woman stomped off.

    I was just starting to get bored when our guide returned. Accompanied by a tall elf with shockingly bright yellow hair. The elf seemed to glow with joy upon seeing Harry and the letter. She bounced over, scooped up the letter, and flomped down onto a cushion.

    "Heya Harry! Hows Gramma!" she joyously greeted the dirtball. Harry gave her a thumbs up. "Good good good, lets see what she wants, shall we? Who''re you guys?" She started opening the letter and wiggled her left ear at us.

    We introduced ourselves. As best we could. I still don''t have a name. Lena had stopped calling me Bobb after the whole pirate kidnapping thing. The elf nodded and said "Right, nice to meet you Lena, Julius, and friend! My name is Tara! Gramma says in her letter you lost your memories and could use some help integrating into society. True?"

    I nodded sheepishly. After what happened last time I was a little leery of strangers but Tara was so bright and open it felt wrong to think of her as anything besides sincere.

    "Really? Cool! I mean not for you obviously, but it isn''t often this kind of thing happens outside of a book you know? Gramma mentioned your. uh, ''special skills'' here so I can definitely use you guys. Nothing seedy or dangerous though I swear! I would like you, mister forgetful, to please heat up water for the baths. The girls have been whining for years over the cold baths, but chopping and burning wood for heat is against the elf code. So I bet they''ll be pleased to have you here. Lena dear, if you could freeze water into ice cubes for drinks that''d be great hon. You are so cute the girls are gonna just eat you up. And speaking of, Julius dear, if you want to just hop about in the garden and keep my girls safe while looking darling, that would be great. Now don''t burn the garden down. It took me decades to get it just right. Just hop about about and be adorable and protective ok?"

    I swear she didn''t breathe the entire time she was talking. It all came out so fast we nodded before we could even think.

    After that things started moving fast. I was shown to a water tank and heated the water inside until it was boiling. Then it would run down pipes to the bath house.

    The ''girls'' Tara mentioned would mix it with the cold water from the spring inside the bath house to get their desired temperature. The water tank naturally filled from the river. I wasn''t clear on how. But because it was river water I had to boil it before it could be used sanitarily.

    Lena was whisked away to meet the girls and Julius was given free rein of the garden. As long as he followed the very long list of rules Tara wrote up so he wouldn''t accidentally wreck her prided garden.

    Then I was shown a room for me to sleep in by the small angry woman, who had lovely wavy black hair, and told that my common sense lessons would start tomorrow.

    I went looking for Julius and Lena. To make sure they were doing fine and nobody was being mean to them. It was getting late, and I met some of the girls Tara mentioned as I searched. They wear light and loose fitting robes that look super comfy and easy to move in. They also thanked me for the warm baths and they like giving hugs. Which I have decided is nice.

    I found Lena. She was in the middle of a swarm of ladies. They were all hugging her, and she and many others were crying.

    I backed away slowly.

    So she seems like she is fitting in then. Julius is loving the garden. Not only are there lots of new and delicious plants to eat, but he gets to cuddle with lots of people. One of the girls has already found his weak spot at the base of his ears. He seems happy.

    Good, then I guess we can stay here for a while. If either of them was not happy I would have moved on.

    By the time all of that had been settled the sun was going down. I heard music and laughter start but I was exhausted from all the new stuff I had seen and done today. So I am blocking it out and heading to bed.

    Goodnight.

 I saw a cat

    Hello again. Today I think I made a new friend.

    Maybe.

    When I woke up I went looking for my friends. Julius I found being cuddled in the garden by a nice lady who gave me a gourd full of sweet citrusy juice. I guess I looked thirsty? Anyway I sipped the tasty beverage as I cradled Julius in my other arm and went looking for Lena.

    I found her a bit later in a small training courtyard behind the main house. A short open sided hallway led to a square of roofed walkways surrounding a open air patch of dirt. Various weapons hung from racks around the training area, and benches were set on the dirt for spectators. Some bushes in the four corners added color and life to the otherwise spartan training area. Taras addition most likely.

    Lena and the small angry woman, Esmeralda I heard Lena call her, were doing some simple sword drills in the center. I settled in on one of the benchs. Moving Julius to my lap and idly sipping at my drink as I watched them. I was curious about others training methods. Just as they were finishing and Esmeralda was giving Lena some advice, something about not overworking herself like a stupid man, Julius got bored.

    He launched himself out of my lap into the closest bushes to investigate their ediblilty. Sadly, just as he kicked off of my guts, with far more gusto than necessary, I had been taking a sip of citrus juice. As I tried to gasp and swallow at the same time I sprayed the burning citrus juice from my nose. My eyes watered from the sharp searing pain, and as I was coughing and sputtering while she was giving advice it seems Esmeralda thought I was mocking her.

    "What! You got something to say big man!" She roared at me. As I tried to wave my hands in denial I spilled the rest of my drink on me. When I went to wipe the tears from my eyes I got the stinging juice in them instead. Now I was blind and couldn''t breath. Which is when I heard something horrifying.

    "You wanna go punk! Lets go!" Followed by rapidly approaching footsteps. I managed to clear my eyes and raise my head just in time to see a dainty boot.

    *CRUNCH*

    That was mynose. I reeled backwards. Tripping over the bench onto my ass as I reached up to cradle my misshapen proboscus. I gingerly gripped the tip of my nose, cupped my hands around it, and jerked it upwards towards my forehead. As It *crunched* back into place I again lifted my head to see that same damn boot.

    This time I dodged in time to only get kicked in the face rather than on my nose. I grabbed her ankle as she was withdrawing it and lurched to my feet. I gave a hard yank and threw her into the air.

    She was very light.

    As I fixed my posture and set my stance, legs apart, shoulders square, and fists at eye height she landed easily on her feet. She was smiling. I blinked back some residual tears and smiled back. My anger at being beaten without cause shifting back as my excitement for a good fight came forward. I was still angry of course. But I intended to use it, not be used by it.

    Esmeralda spun and sprinted to the weapons racks. Coming back with a dull edged double bladed battleaxe that must have weighed as much as she did. She hefted it with no problem, and now there was some worry mixed in with the excitement and anger.

    I tightened my fists and waited. Not for long though. With a shrill battle scream she charged me. Axe raised high before it swept low. Attempting to take me out at the knees. I hopped over the whistling blades and sent a knee into Esmeraldas face. The satisfying crack never came though. She shifted backwards. Bending inconcievably and using the weight of her weapon to maintain balance before coming full circle with an overhead chop. I swatted at the flat of the axe with the back of my left hand. Numbing it and sending a ringing into the air as it missed me. My right came across in a sharp hook to her ribs.

    Again she flew, and again she landed nimbly on her feet. She kept shifting her body along with my blows. It was like punching a cloud. Sure I am hitting something, but it seems largely ineffectual.

    This went on for an annoyingly long time. Me dodging and parrying her axe, and her shifting with my punches and kicks. Finally I managed to get a hand on her arm. I had her over my head in a second, and was about to begin slamming her into the ground when a sharp whistle cut through the air.

    "Alright kiddys thats enough fun and games for today. Esme, I need this one whole and hearty for the day. So put down that stupid axe." A gruff and gravely voice barked lazily. I turned to see a old man. I think he was old at least. White hair, wrinkled face, bulging muscles, covered in old scars. The last two are what threw me.

    "Fine commander, I was done with him anyway. Oy, lummox, I was a second away from cracking your skull like an egg. So thank the commander, and put me down!" Snarked the snarky snark I was a half-second away from smashing repeatedly into the ground.

    I set her down and gave the old man(?) a inquisitive look. He grunted lazily "Names Commander Ludo Fisk. You can call me Commander, or Ludo. Only dead men call me mister Fisk." He scratched idly at a scar that cut through his snowy stubble along his jawline. "I owe Tara a favor, and she asked me to show you the ropes. Come with me kid. We have got a lot of ground to cover." With that he turned and walked off without a backwards glance.

    I glanced at Esmeralda,*humph*she snorted "Well aren''t you the lucky one lummox. Don''t keep the Commander waiting. I''ll take care of the little lady." She then placed a hand protectively over Lenas shoulders. I asked Lena if she would be ok, she gave me an affirmative so I set off after the Commander. Julius hadn''t hopped out of the bushes yet so left him. I am sure he won''t get into any trouble while I am gone.

    As I was walking my head cleared from the fight fumes. My hands and nose were in crazy amounts of pain. I coated my hands in some firey mitts. They fixed up my bones and closed the scrapes and bruises you get when you slap an axe. I sent some tingles to my nose. Which tickled like crazy! I burst out laughing and snorting. Every time I snorted some fire spurted from my nose. I got some odd looks from the ladies for that one.

    The Commander led me out of theHouse of Dancing Wings and out of the Heaven island altogther. He didn''t say anything just walked. He didn''t even look back to see if I was following him. We went back into the crazy mess of people that they call a city and he finally slowed and turned to me.

    "These scumshacks." He graveled then spit something on the ground "Make up the glorious ranks of lowtown. This is where the poor, the unlucky, or the dumb live." He looked around in disgust and spit again. "Don''t live here. Come on." He set off again. This time much faster.

    We reached a new bridge. This one had a sign of it as well.Purgatory, once we crossed the bridge I saw regimented rows of identical wooden houses. Long and low they ran in lines over half the island. The other half was blocked off by high stone walls. Misshapen sheres dangled over the wall on spikes. Behind those walls I could see nothing.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    "This lovely place." Ludo started in a much cheerier tone "Is Purgatory. This is were the mercenary bands live while in Papil and where the prison is." He gestured at the walls. "In there are the poor fools to dumb, or unlucky, or poor to even make it in lowtown." Then he pointed out the houses "In these barracks rest the finest scum you''ll ever see. Mercenaries are greedy, cowardly, bloodthirsty arseholes who would literally kill you for a rusty gold." He turned and met my eyes with his own dull green ones. "And I am their leader. Welcome, boy, to my little slice of paradise."As he said this there was a bellow behind him and a dozen men came flying out of one of the barracks. Beating each other with chairs and fists.

    Commander Ludo turned and a beatific smile slit his scarred face, showing his shiny gold teeth. He sauntered lazily over to the struggling mass of shouting men, and took a deep breath."ATTEN-SHUN! STAND AND BE RECOGNIZED MAGGOTS!"He roared. The men shot to their feet and stiffened like posts where they stood. Ludo stalked malevolently around the stiff men who had rapidly paling faces. "Well, well, well, what have we here?" He growled "A bunch of lazy slobs so bored they have time to gamble and fight eh?" A large man near the front of the crowd opened his mouth.

    "SILENCE! FROM NOW ON ALL TRAINING FOR BARRACK 27 IS DOUBLED AND PAY IS HALVED! THAT OUTTA KEEP YOU BOYS BUSY. ANY COMPLAINTS!" the commander roared.

    "SIR, NO SIR!" then poor, now poorer, men shouted.

    "WHAT WAS THAT SCUM! I CAN''T HEAR YOU!"He raged, spittle flying into the faces of the nearest cringing mercs.

    "SIR, NO SIR!" They repeated. Valiantly trying, and failing, to match his volume.

    He dismissed them with more bellowing and raging and they took off like they were running from a ravager horde.

    The Commander turned to me and chuckled. "And that, boy, is how you establish discipline and dominance over these mean bastards. Be meaner than them." He turned and walked away. Gesturing me to follow as he waxed on."See, there are three ways to get loyalty from a group of men. Depending on the men they can be more or less effective."

    He gestured grandly as if addressing a great crowd. "You can earn it from respect. Grand gestures of gravitas and grace. Great displays of personal power or wealth. If your men respect you, they will follow you happily into the jaws of death. For they believe you can, and will, see them through it. This works best on idealistic fools and men who believe in honor and integrity." He spat on the ground again. He does that a lot.

    He mimed throwing something into the air."You can buy loyalty. The more you need the more you pay. People you pay for loyalty will happily kill for you, but they sure as hell won''t die for you." He turned and gave me a cheeky grin which pulled at his many scars grotesquely. "They are gonna want to spend that money you see. This works best with scum like you''ll find here. Honorless dogs posing as men and biting at every hand in sight. They will take your coin, kill your enemy, loot him. Then turn around and kill and loot you too." He looked at the ground for a second in silence. "Which is why you absolutely never hire more mercs than you can kill. Gold may be a fine sword, but it makes a lousy shield."

    He then shook his fist angrily at the air. "Finally, you can earn their loyalty through fear. Make them certain that crossing you is worse than obeying you. That if they do as you say they might survive, but if they don''t listen they won''t live. Never, ever, bluff. Always carry through with a threat. You have to be worse than their worst nightmares, and you can never show weakness. The instant you seem weak. They will kill you and run." He smiled grimly seeming to recall some spectacle from his past.

    Finally he stopped walking. "Personally, I favour a nice mix of the three. Equal parts money, fear, and respect. My men follow me because they know I will bring them profits and they listen to my orders because they know that if they don''t I will rip them into a knee high pile of bloody scraps." He waved me into the nearest barrack. "Finally, they know I won''t lead them into traps or ambushes, and that I won''t work for a fool."

    We went into the barracks and I found it full of tables with papers stacked high on them. A dozen skinny men and women with stained fingers were running around carrying stacks of paper. Commander Ludo led me to a table at the back. "Take a seat boy, now I''ll show you the true battlefield of a mercenary leader!" He pulled a stack of papers closer and settled a dainty construct of wires and glass over his eyes. "Logistics! Any amateur can order a charge, or plot an ambush. True masters of warfare are the ones who make sure the men get what they need where they need it. Every archer his arrows, and every trooper his boots." He gave a great guffaw and leaned over the papers.

    We spent the rest of the day in that office. He showed me paper after paper of costs and profits. I know exactly how many nails a siege unit needs if they are to be expected to build seige towers, and how many arrows the average hundred archers go through in the average day. I sat through the mind numbing numbers and all the horrible graphs.

    Finally, as the sun was setting my mind stumbled upon a fluffy oasis in this dry desert of deskwork. A small window was situated right behind the Commanders left shoulder. All day it had taunted me with visions of bright blue skys and freedom. I very nearly ran away on a few occasions. Every time I was about to I recalled Lena crying with the other women yesterday. She needs this, and if I leave now I know I would leave this place for good. Lena would probably follow me and I think she should stay here for a while yet. Anyway, my salvation was a massively obese cat that sauntered onto the roof of the barrack I could see from my seat.

    The tubby tabby rolled about of the roof for a bit. His twitching tail and round little face serving as a much needed distraction. A small bird landed on the roof not far from the cat. Seeming oblivious to its presence. The cat sprang from lazy ball of fur to wire taut killer in a split second. The pudgy predator stalked its prey, dragging its unintimidating bulk with it. I watched breathlessly as the hefty cat slowly creeped up on the idiot bird. Slowly, ever so slowly the cat moved into striking distance. The bird pecked at the roof. The cat sprang! The sight of its round silhouette against the orange dusk sky hanging for a split second.

    Then the bird flew off, and the cat reached its inevitable destination. Falling off the roof altogether. A loud smash and clatter erupted from that direction and the sound of men shouting and swearing shed some light on the cats landing pad. A poor man had been leaning over a large pot of hot stew. When the cat landed on his back like a fuzzy cannonball and sent him, and the stew, into the cooking fire.

    I slipped away while the Commander was distracted and headed back to Heaven Island.

    I only got lost five times!

    The sky was dark and the stars were beginning to appear by the time I made it back. Lots of ladies in very little stood in the windows or on the balconies. I wonder if they don''t get cold? Sounds of music and merry making drifted into the ever-present mist. The sounds quickly stifled as you walk further into the mist. The only exception was theHouse of Dancing Wings. There the short angry woman, Esmeralda, and another tall woman with an interesting scar on her cheek stood outside the closed outer gates.

    They let a few people inside. Mostly those with colorful or shiny clothes. The rest they rebuffed. Some tried to force past them and got a fist to the head from Esmeralda or the other lady. If that didn''t dissuade them then the two would draw weapons. Esmeralda had a long single edged heavy blade on her back and the tall lady had a long slender sword that she handled very familiarily hanging from her hip.

    When I approached Esmeralda snorted. "*Chet* I see the old man didn''t manage to kill you eh?" She seemed happy to see me, despite her words.

    The tall lady looked me over. "Oh? Who is this one then Esme?" She asked in a calm tone as she wavedthevery sharp sword at me.

    "This is Taras latest charity case. Ugly here" She gestured at me dismissively "lost his memories and needs some help readjusting to the real world." I grumbled, I don''t think I am ugly.

    "I don''t think he is ugly" The tall lady agreed with my thoughts. "In my opinion scars add character to men." She gave me another look over. "And I bet this one haslotsof scars." She gave me a smile that sent a shiver down my spine. Suddenly uncomfortable with this whole situation I gave a burst of tingles to my right foot and used the small blast to leap directly over the gate. "And he is shy too! Just my type." I heard the tall lady say with some laughter. I heard Esmeralda grumble something as headed away at full speed. Probably not a compliment.

    I headed to bed. Ignoring the festivities util I saw the garden. I know now how this house got its name. Hundreds of glowing maths and butterflies dance about in the garden. Flitting from plant to plant as their dull blue and purple glows light up the mist around them. Providing dim lighting and magical ambiance to the already wonderous garden.

    I stayed and watched the dancing wings until my exhaustion outweighed my wonder.

    I wonder if that cat is ok? I hope it didn''t get burned or caught by the angry mercenaries.

    Goodnight.

 Escape from mount boredom

    Hello again! Today was lots of fun!

    Though I doubt it was supposed to be.

    As I was eating breakfast a tall thin man in a severe black suit knocked on my door. He introduced himself as Mister Cain and said he had been requested to teach me mathematics, geography and history. As I listened to his dull dry monotonous voice I could feel my soul being slowly mummified by boredom.

    So I slowly and quietly shut my door in his face, ducked out the window, and hid in the garden. I spent a while stalking through the gardens. Finding nifty little spots to hide and avoiding the fussy and petulant Mr. Cain as he stomped his feet daintily on the stone walkways. Odd fellow seemed afraid to get his shoes dirty.

    I hadn''t even grabbed my shoes when I left. I was wearing a pair of comfy brown slacks and a simple white short sleeved shirt that had already been covered in dirt and grass stains from my exploration of the garden.

    As he flounced off in defeat I saw Lena moping about in one of the gazebos.

    I snuck up behind her and swept her up then flung her high into the sky. She swapped her sighs for a scream of terror that turned into a peal of laughter. She made an iceslide extend from a nearby pond to catch her. She then sped down the glistening ice and into the pond. Nice dive, nary a ripple.

    As the ice dissapated back into the pond Esmeralda stormed into the garden. "Oy, Lummox! Why did I here Lena screaming! Where is she?! If you hurt her-" She was cut off by Lena''s reemergence from the pond inside a giant hand made of water. The hand grabbed me and next thing I know I am over the walls and headed for the street.

    With a flash of firey wings and a smile on my face I managed to make a perfect landing. Until I saw I had done so directly in front of the departing Mr. Cain. With a yelp I lost control and instead of sticking the landing was launched into a bruising series of somersaults by my momentum. I bounced down a set of stairs into a narrow and rather dank alley. Where I saw a snoozing man with a mask on his face. Polished silver with three black arcs in a mockery of a smile and closed eyes.

    Perfect! I made a similar mask out of tinglewood. Mine was red with golden-yellow arcs, and brighter red flame patterns rising from the mouth and eyes.Now I wouldn''t have to worry about being recognized, and I felt like a badass. To further that feeling I had also molded a set of vambraces, greaves, sandals, and a cloak all out of tinglewood. All red, and all flame patterned. I felt awesome. Still do really.

    It did take some effort to get the cloak to hang properly and flutter dramatically. I had to make the tinglewoodreally thin. Worth it.

    I swept off into the backstreets of Heaven looking for something interesting. I found a bunch of unconcious and mostly naked men. Not very interesting. I think I will come back at night sometime and try to find out why they are unconcious and only wearing undergarments. That sounds like more fun.

    Fun times eluded me until I reached the bridge. This one lead to the side of the river I had never been to before. I guess hightown since the other side is lowtown? I decided to explore the other side of the river to find some excitement.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    Luckily I had barely crossed the bridge when excitement found me. A group of actual guards, as opposed to the lazy slobs at the lowtown gate, had me surrounded as soon as I set foot on the paved roads of hightown. These men were polished and pretty. Clean shaven, strong jawlines, heroic bearing, the lot of them. Bunch of wimps though. I only lightly roasted them and they were all in full retreat and screaming. Eyebrows grow back right?

    Anyway, after that I roamed the streets. Super boring. Nothing but stone and metal. All in the same shapes and colors. Super dull. Ugh, I hated it so much. So I went looking for the nearest bridge to find a way out of the stupid boring place. I found one with a sign sayingHell. I hadn''t been there yet and it sounded kind of fun. So I went toHell.

    Now, Hellwas interesting. A massive round building dominated the island. Surrounding it were all manner of loud buildings called tavers or fubs. Some people tried to mug me so I robbed them. Others saw I had a big jangly bag of jangles, and they invited me to come in shady looking buildings and ganbel. I asked one of them about the big round building and he called it the arena. Where people go to fight and die. Now that sounded like fun.

    Turns out you need to register and pay a fee in order to fight. They don''t just let strangers from the street jump into the ring and beat up everyone. Well, I guess they just don''t like it when you do that. Because I totally did that, and they couldn''t actually stop me. They said they wouldn''t give me the preyz or whatever but thats fine. The fights were boring anyway.

    As I headed away from the arena a giant man with arms like tree trunks walked in front of me and then growled at me. So I meowed back and went around him. People here are weird. I guess people everywhere are weird though? So I won''t hold it against them.

    Oh, speaking of weird people. There was that guy.

    Old Rick he called himself. Doesn''t actually look old though. Maybe an adult? Anyway he is this weedy little fellow with one hand who I met today. I was walking along in Hell when he comes flying out of one of the many alleys this whole city is full of. He was bleeding from a cut on his arm and what looked like a broken nose. He looked around himself for a second and when he saw me his eye lit up and he came scampering over to, and then behind me. Three big fat men with not enough hair to go around came out of the alley after him.

    "Big bro Red Mask! These are the guys I told you about!" He popped his head out from behind me and shouted at the three confused looking fat men. "Big bro has your money! Take it up with him, see ya bro!" Then he scuttled off. The fatties tried to take my jangle bag so I beat them up. And down. All around really. This jangle bag is great idiot bait. They just keep coming for it!

    After I knocked them out and took their jangles for my own Old Rick came skulking out of the shadows.

    "Whew, damn man. I had heard you were strong from my boys, but you really are something else aren''t you?" He sidled up to me and stuck out his one hand. "Names Old Rick, I run the ''Riverstench Boys'' thief gang. Sorry my boys tried to rob you today." He swept a long greasy lock of possibly brown hair out of his eyes as I gazed at how dirty my hand had become after he shook it.

    "So you might be wondering why I got these three to attack you. Well it is a long story. You see-" he went on and on for ages. I stopped listening pretty quick and just watched as his black teeth flashed in his rapidly moving mouth. I tried to count how many he had left. Not many anyway. Finally I patted him on his greasy hair and walked off. I tucked my hand inside my cloak and burned the scum off of it.

    Now its night again. I am back in theHouse of Dancing Wings watching the dancing wings and writing and wondering when Lena will be good to go. She seems very happy here. Should I just leave her? It doesn''t feel right. But it might be what''s best for her. Esmeralda is being oddly quiet tonight. Hardly saw her at all really.

    Hm, come to think of it. When was the last time I saw Julius? He better not be getting in too much trouble.

    Goodnight.

 Vomitiarrhea, its a thing

    Hello again.

    Sometimes I wonder if I am blessed or cursed. I laugh when on one is joking, and I joke when no one is laughing. I may not know where I am from or what I have done. But I know exactly who I am.

    I am a man. A feeble and fleeting blip on a wider world than I can comprehend. I walk my path. Not looking for the light of knowlegde. Not seeking an end or an answer. I do not walk because I have a destination. I walk because to stand still would kill me. Death is not a stranger to me. I have brought it to many in the short time I have been walking.

    I do not consider death to be anything but a transition. A change of state. A new journey begins where the old ends. I am as unknowing of where that path leads as I am about this one. A journey of discovery. A path into the unknown tread by all.

    It is this belief, formed haphazardly as it is, that leads me to go to new places. To try new things. Danger is nothing but an advertisment. Hazards are just scenery.

    So I guess that is why I thought it would be a good idea to eat a giant glowing purple fungus I found in the sewers while Lena and I were looking for Julius. I don''t regret it so much, but I do think I could have given it more thought.

    Blood is seeping from everywhere. My mouth, nose, eyes, ears, and every other hole. Even my skin bleeds. Lena is crying, but she is a strong little girl. She is washing me with cleansing and healing waters. Purified from the scummy streams of the sewers we are still in. I should make this up to her somehow. A toy? or maybe some candy?

    My tingles are running rampart through me. Tearing at this unknown entity that is ravaging my body. I think they are winning.

    Note to self: don''t eat glowing fungi.

    It didn''t even taste good! Earthy and dry. It is a mystery why I ate the whole thing.

    Today started so promisingly too. I was hiding in the garden practicing stealth tactics with Lena in the garden when we stumbled across a burrow. The scorch marks and size indicate it is probably Julius''. We figured he is down the burrow so I muttered a quick apology to Tara and we started digging. We were in the middle of a thick, uh, thicket of bushes. So when Tara came walking past with company we froze. Wary of being caught vandalizing the prized garden of our host and food giver.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    Luckily she seemed very distracted. She was walking with Commander Ludo, mister Cain, and a lady with a very swollen chest. They were talking in hushed tones and the bubbly Tara seemed serious and repressed. Some words were bandied about. red-bull-lion, was mentioned a few times. I wonder what that looks like. A Horned Crimson Cat? I found a book of drawings a little while back. It shows some animals and the sounds they make respectively. A bull is a large hairy animal with cool forward curving horns on its head, and a lion is a big cat with a scarf and large teeth. They go moo and roar. Moooar? Sounds like a fun critter to me.

    Ah! I think I know what shape I will be making the Ivers Dream into later!

    Anyway, they passed us so we kept digging. We hit the sewers after a bit and followed the trail of burnt rats and people. They were all cold so Julius came through here a while ago. Aftdhfng, oops. Some blood dripped on the pen and made my fingers slip. Interestingly enough any blood that hits the pages of the Journal just rolls right off. Very convenient that.

    Where was I? Right, we followed the trail. It led us deep into the sewers. Strange twisted things started to appear. Rat-like men with full body hair and fangs, and things with long boneless arms that have spikes poking out of them. All burned pretty badly. These weird things became weirder and weirder as we followed Julius'' tracks until we reached a wide open room that had been cut out of the original sewer.

    The gunky water still flowed down the middle of it, but on either side were numerous rows of shattered glass tubes. All big enough to hold me comfortably. Sitting in the middle of them was a burned carcass of a human. Surrounded by the charred remains of some weird mixture of bones and flesh. Mostly unidentifiable between its warped nature and the severe burns. The occasional humanlike head would pop up here or there along its bulk. Weird. We left the mess alone. No idea what it is but it definitely doesnt have a ''touch me, touch me!'' feel.

    A little further along the river of sludge split into two paths. No burn marks gave away Julius'' path so we went down the right handed one. It was a dead end and sitting at that dead end was the stupid glowing purple fungus. It was about knee high, darker purple glow on the gills and bright violet on the cap. The stem was a red-purple color that looked pretty tasty.

    So I ate it. And now here we stay while I deal with the consequences of that action.

    Ugh, I feel another bout of vomitierrhea coming on. I will have Lena take cover while I hop into the water to keep all the crap in one place. Poor kid.

    Well, she did say she was bored. So I guess that isn''t an issue at least.

    Goodnight, I doubt I will feel like writing after this. It feels like a doozy.

 What did the assassin say to the mark? Knife to meet you!

    Hello again. Today went better than yesterday.

    I didn''t eat any strange glowing fungi for starters. Poor Lena was beside herself. She nursed me all night. Fought off some giant spiked rats while I was out too. I really need to find some way to thank her. Besides saying thanks. I already did that.

    We lost Julius'' trail though. The tunnel to the left he must have gone down had collapsed. Well, maybe melted is more appropriate. Someone, no prizes for guessing who, had melted the ceiling, walls, and floor into one globby mass. This was causing the crap and other stuff in the sewers to back up. Making our approach very much no fun at all. Lena shifted the, mostly, water out of the way, and I bored our own hole through with a spinning fire wing dash. Super fun, but it leaves me dizzy and disoriented so maybe not smart to use when going into unknown areas of unknown danger.

    Still, nothing was attacking us on the far side. The backed up crap came rushing through the relatively narrow channel I had carved. Then it split up and headed down five seperate tunnel. Smaller pipes, still big enough for Julius, protruded from the sides and ceiling. Drains for the city streets I suppose. Judging from how long we had been down here we must have long left the area under heaven island.

    I am lost again. Oh I love this feeling! The edge of uncertainty that digs into your mind. The wonder behind every corner. The mystery that lurks in every shadow. Knowing a place is so boring! No surprises, no fun.

    Lena says my eyes are purple now. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fungi? It seem likely doesn''t it? What else could it be? Hopefully I am not going to grow fungus out of my eyeballs. Being blind would be a hassle. I suppose I could manage though.

    Anyway, we walked and walked for a long time. Finally we exited the sewers via a grated exit half buried in very rich soil. Lots of ferns around there. The trees were coated in them, like fluffy green coats on gnarled old giants. Pretty interesting to look at. Big trees too, I suppose roughly eight of me could encircle the smallest one with our arms outstretched. We were in a hilly area. The massive trunks prevent use from seeing far and the lush carpet of bushy ferns provide shelter to hundreds of small critters, and some not so small ones. Rain was falling. Slicking the leaves, and darkening the exposed bark between swathes of mosses and lichens.

    This whole place smelled of ancient times, of old monsters that had been long dead, but had once walked under these great branches. They hid the sky and filled the earth. These were true elders. I wonder why I was so filled with awe and joy as I walked amongst their titanic trunks. Hm, no matter.

    I gave Lena her tinglewood at her request, and she hopped inside of a giant blue squirrel. She then took off. Scampering up the trunks of the giant forest lords around us. Leaping from branch to branch nimbly. Stretching her, metaphorical, legs and enjoying the novelty of having a giant playground to run around in. She kept this up, trailing after me as I wandered through the woods. She scampered to and fro, exploring this wonderland.

    So she was the first to notice the camp. A true monster of a tree had been felled some time in the distant past. Leaving a hole in the canopy, and ripping out a deep hole in the earth with its roots. Those same roots enshrouded the camp on three sides. Providing shelter from both prying eyes and the elements.

    In this natural nook were a large array of tents. They ranged from tattered gray sheets draped over a frayed bit of rope to a glittering monstorsity of silk and sequin. They formed rough circles around a dozen cooking fires. Figures of people could be made out shifting around the fires and the rough pathways between the clusters of canvas.

    Lena squirreled over to me with a hint of miscief in her eyes. "Hey, how close do you think we can get without being spotted!" she shout-whispered at me. Then she proceeded to squirrel into the roots before I could respond. Honestly that did sound pretty amusing. I snuck into the rain-slicked roots after her.

    A big blue squirrel may not sound very stealthy, and it really isn''t. Lena still managed to pull it off though. I could barely find her and I was actively looking for a ten foot tall blue wooden squirrel. The ragged and damp guards that had been posted around the camp seemed more interested in cursing the weather and the lazy idiot they had sent to get some supper than in keeping watch.

    Rusty blades, cracked spear shafts, patchy chainmail, and molding leather. The only things these fools had in good condition were their bad attitudes and the whips coiled up on their belts. Whips are stupid weapons. They are only good for scaring weaklings and hurting those who can''t defend themselves. Weapons for bullies.

    Skirting around the guards easily, we snuck into the heart of the camp. Which is when we kind of figured out something was off about this camp. All the people here are thin and sick looking. There are all kinds, humans, elves, dwarves, no winged people but I see one lady with the way more chains one then the others.

    She is off in her own spot. Seperated from the rest of the people by two fat guards with thorny whips, and a cage. Her chains wrap around her leaving her in a cocoon of iron suspended inside the rusty metal cage. Looks uncomfortable. The only reason I know she is a lady is because Lena freed her. Yeah, she dropped from the roots and stomped the fat guards before they knew what hit them. Brutal, wonder why Lena did that. Then she made a blade from the rain and cut the locks and chains that held the lady. Turns out not only was she chained up but she had been locked into a curled up position.

    So what I thought was a normal sized person in a ball of chains turned out to be a super tall lady. Half again my height. She has a wild mane of golden hair that cascades over her shoulders and warm amber eyes. She is slim, but strong. Long lean muscles fill out her gangly frame so what should look like a scarecrow instead looks like a sleek predator. She patted Lena on the head and then looked me directly in the eye. Which was surprising since I thought I was still hidden.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    "Mekrow, young one. For my freedom I thank you. Now go to hide with odd little man in plant legs. Onica have work to do." She picked Lena up, squirrel and all, and gently lobbed her over to me. I would like to say I caught the surprise squirrel ball, butit was more like I got landed on by it.

    Onica gave a toothy smile at my discomfort, wow she has a lot of sharp white teeth, and then she shot off into the rain.

    I lost track of her immediately, but then guards started to fall. Silently they were picked off one by one. No one screamed, no one struggled. Until finally I saw her tall figure pause briefly outside of the large silk tent. Her rough burlap clothes were spotless. She entered the tent.

    When she came out her clothes were soaked in blood. Not a sound had come from inside. She walked over to a shivering elf woman and handed her a ring of keys before vanishing again. This is when I noticed the collor and chains on all the poor people. Slaves I guess. I''m glad Lena stomped those two fat guards.

    "Neezrii, totakal Amanani." She reappeared behind me and kneeled before Lena before saying that series of cryptic words I have tried to write. "I am owing a life to you cub. Do you need a slave?" She looked super serious. Lena looked super confused. I nudged her.

    "I think she wants you to ask for something from her." I whispered. Onicas ear twitched, no secrets around this one it would seem. Lena still looked confused but then a light filled her eyes and she looked at Onica with sparkling eyes.

    "W-Will you be my friend!" I swear existence itself froze to doublecheck what Lena had just said. The fragile moment of total silence was shattered by peals of throaty laughter from Onica.

    "AHAHAHAH! Yes, cub, I will be your friend." She smiled warmly at Lena and I stopped preparing to turn her to ashes should she make a move on Lena. The instant I relaxed Onica vanished. I felt a sharp pain on my neck and her throaty voice rumbled over my shoulder. "Why so calm little man? I am notyour friend." She had moved behind me faster than I had believed possible.

    I sent tingles roaring through my body. Spurts of fire came from te pinpricks Onica had made in my neck until the wounds closed. I sent an elbow back into what should have been her guts. I hit air and a blast of fire ripped from my elbow into the roots. A flicker from my left and suddenly my left arm was on the ground.

    Fire gushed from the wounds and linked the severed arm with my new stump before it snapped taut and my arm was reconnected to my body in a rush of pain and fire.

    Onica was nowhere in sight, I could hear her laughter though. She was nearby, just hidden from sight. So I burned everything. A ring of fire formed around Lena as she was gaping in surprise at the sudden turn of events. Only a second or two had passed since the start.

    Onica came streaking through my flames. I flew at her, rocketing fire from my feet and elbows to launch a incendiary punch at her. She dodged again and another gash opened on my side. She couldn''t avoid getting burned though. The rain was really suppressing my firepower. Otherwise everything around me would have become ash by now. Except Lena of course. Screams started to erupt from the camp now as the fire spread through the roots. The stupid rain dowsed my blazing spirit, and what should have been a good fun brawl became an annoying slog as I ate slashes, punches, and kicks from the crazy fast Onica.

    Lena ended it all in the end. She turned all the rain and water around us into ice and trapped both me and Onica in ice blocks up to our heads. Lena was fuming. "You two are my only friends in the whole world! You will get along or I won''t forgive either of you!" She had tears forming in her blue eyes as she glared at us with a trembling chin. Poor little one was about to cry. We can''t have that.

    I was about to apologize, but Onica beat me to the punch. "Ziike, I am the sorry. I have not had chance to move in very long time. You, little man, look like experiencedDaji so I was wanting to fight you." Onica gave me an appraising look. "I am thinking it is good fortune it rains, no? Otherwise this one may not have survived little mansMojo. Please release this one from ice, friend cub." I echoed my own apologies for escalating things and admitted my admiration for Onicas sheer speed and strength.

    She grinned at me and flicked some water from her ears at me. "Is natural, Onica is former tribe champion. Only lose place because tribe leader poison and sell this one to the dead man in the shiny tent." Her smile shrunk until it became a grim smirk. "I will kill him later. For now, what is little cub friends name? And what are we doing?"

    Lena beamed at us getting along and chirped up at the towering Onica "My name is Lena, this is mister. We uh, hey mister. Whatare we doing, and what is your name?" she looked at me as a new question rose to her mind. Surprised it took her this long to ask that. She has been mostly dealing with her own stuff though so I guess its fine.

    I shrugged "I dunno" The girls looked at me, clearly expecting more. "To both?" I tried again. They glanced at each other, then looked back at me with more intensity. Their eyes demanded answers. Ugh. "Um, I don''t know who I am. Or what I am doing. I just kinda... wander? So, yeah. Um, any questions?" Both of their arms shot up. "Lena."

    "Why don''t you know who you are?" she asked with a cute head tilt.

    "No idea. Woke up in a cave." I answered shortly, Lena looked confused about how that made any sense. "Onica."

    "How do you know where to go?" She asked. Looks like she doesn''t really get the concept of wandering.

    "I don''t, I go with what feels right at the moment. It always leads somewhere interesting." I nodded, satisfied by the brilliance of such a great way of wandering.

    The girls looked at each other, they do that a lot huh? ""You''re an idiot."" They said in perfect harmony and deadpan.

    I sulked for the next hour or two.

    Eventually I mustered the will to ask if Onica had heard anything about a small red fluffy rabbit that spread ash and calamity in his wake. She hadn''t heard anything of the sort.

    Where are you Julius!

    We camped in the former slaver camp that night. Onica and I competed to see who could bring back the most food for the starving former slave who had been to weak and tired to flee from the fire show earlier. Those who had run were trickling back slowly.

    I caught a large thing similar to a grunter. Only fatter, slower, and stupider. Onica caught a slither. We argued over who had won because while mine weighed more hers was far longer. Lena decided it was a tie. Neither of us were happy about that. After the feast we bunked down in the roots.

    Onica has weird ears, they are higher than normal and round, and fuzzy. She can swivel them around and they are super sensitive. She also has sharp claws on her fingers she can retract, and a fluffy tail she normally keeps wrapped around her waist.

    Oddest lady I have ever seen.

    Goodnight.

 When will we wander

    Hello again. We went back to Papil today.

    I was more interested in simply wandering off into the hills, but Lena and Onica made some good arguments. It would be far easier for Julius to find us if we stayed in one place than if we all started moving around looking for each other. Onica wanted some new gear and a hot bath. The bath is no problem when Lena and I are around but I guess a burnt hollow in a tree isn''t a good enough bathtub? Worked fine for me. Lena also wanted to bring the liberated slaves back so they would be safe.

    The former-slaves themselves turned that down. They asked Lena to make a well and seem like they will settle here in the forest. The lady elf Onica gave the keys too has beome their leader. She has all kinds of plans for this area. Apparently it is perfect for an elvehome. Dunno what that is but she sure is excited. Not all the freemen are as interested and a few groups have splintered off. One wants to come with us to the city, mostly old men and women. Another seemed kind of skeevy, they are all young men with angry eyes. They have been eyeing the third group for a while now.

    The third and final group is the largest, mostly young women and a few elders. They are the ones who will be staying here. When we split up and headed out Onica stealthily followed the second group for a bit. She came back smelling like blood.

    "They seemed lost." She purred. "So I showed them the way." She seemed very pleased with herself. I guess thats fair. I certainly couldn''t tell them how to get anywhere. Lena was guiding the city group. A map had been found in the shiny tent. I took a look at it. A map is just a mess of lines and sqiggles mixed with some randon nonsensical words! I have no idea how Lena knows where we are or where we are going. She tried explaining it but I got bored and confused so she gave up.

    We led the noisy and whiny people for what felt like forever. They would whine, whine, whine to Lena and Onica for stupid petty reasons. Little inconveniences seemed to tower over them, and minor issues were clearly insurmountable. For whatever reason when they tried to complain to me I only had to look them in the eyes before they stuttered to a stop, and muttered an apology before stumbling away. Very convienient that. Lena and Onica kept me close to ward off the noisiest annoyances.

    Finally we stumbled over the last hill and the city came into sight. While the baggage cheered the three of us slipped away. According to Onica trying to enter the city with the large group would be a hassle. Since we had no standing or authority here we could do nothing to ease their entry into the city. We slipped inside over the sloppily manned walls. Huge gaps were just left unattended. Whoever is supposed to be defending this place ought to be ashamed.

    Before we broke into the city, which according to Onica is normally a crime, I put on my badass mask and cape disguise. Lena quickly copied me and then we spent a couple of minutes running in circles so that our capes would flap dramatically behind us. I offered Onica a similar disguise, only slightly less awesome than mine, but she smirked and said she had no problems breaking the law as herself. I suppose I don''t mind either. I don''t even know what a law is really. Just that the pirates hated them.

    We vaulted over the wall. Lena shouted "Rising tide!" as she leapt.

    "Why''d you do that?" I asked her as we landed.

    She gave me a look of complete disdain, I think. Her mask was still on. "C''mon mister, everyone knows that if you shout the name of your move before you use it then it becomes more powerful!"

    Really works. I swear it does.

    We led Onica into the streets and I gave her a quick rundown of the city.

    "One half is loud, the other is boring. There are pretty ladies on Heaven isle, ugly men on Purgatory isle, and lots of people you can beat up on Hell isle. Where do you want to go?" I asked, as I looked for somewhere quiet.

    "What do you think Lena? Where can I get some gear?" Onica asked our group navigator. Her ears were flickering all over the place. I guess she doesn''t like loud places either. The tip of her tail that wasn''t wrapped around her waist was flicking agitatedly. It looks really fluffy, I wonder if she would let me touch it?

    Lena looked around the crowded lowtown bustle. Seeming excited to be around so many people. "Hm, oh, I dunno big sis Onica. Mister is the one who has been wandering around here. He knows more than I do. Hey, mister; have you seen any clothing stores?" She looked at me for a split second before a cart full of bright red sweets that was pushed past us by a shouting man caught her attention.

    I shrugged. "All I can remember is some people shouting about armor around the arena." So I led them to Hell.

    Once we got there, between mine and Lenas awesome diguises and Onicas distinctive height and ears and tail... her distinctiveness, I guess we caught a lot of attention.

    "Storming Sweep!" Lena shouted as she kicked a big hairy guy in the back of his knees. This brought him to her level where she ended him with a "Wave Rush!" punch to the chin.

    "Firey Rampage!" I bellowed as I punched and kicked three would be robbers into the pavement. We took all the jangles of course. Lena said it was theft. I said it was only fair. They came to take our jangles so we took theirs when they lost. We must have beaten down fifty people by now. So we had lots of jangles between us.

    The more we had the more idiots came after us. Onica silently beat down any who tried to sneak up on us. She was smiling as she watched us shout out our moves, but she refused to join in. Said it wasn''t her style. Fair enough. It is fun though.

    Suddenly Old Rick came oozing out of an alley in front of us. "Big bro, so good to see you again!" He skulked over to us. "I see you have new friends." He eyed Lena curiously before his eyes started to crawl all over Onicas lithe form. "Hello there beautiful. Not everyday someone as... exotic as you walks into my life." He gave a greasy wink. "Why dontcha let me buy you a drink and we can get to...know each othurk!"If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Onica had him pinned against the nearest wall by his throat in a blink. She showed her teeth in a feral and hungry smile. "This a friend of yoursDaji? I thought you would have better, taste." she rolled the last word into a purr and licked her lips. Old Rick may have paled some. Hard to really tell under all that grime.

    As sweat cut brave rivers through his patina of filth he stuttered. "H-h-h-hey now, I didn''t mean nothing by it. Just being friendly is all, cmon bro, help me out here." He pleaded. I don''t know why he thought I would help him. We aren''t even friends. "I am sure you didn''t come all the way over here just to beat up half the thugs in Papil and terrorize poor Old Rick. Whatcha lookin for friends?" He seemed pretty close to pissing himself. Onica is kinda fun to have around huh?

    "Well, weare looking for a place to get some gear." I offered. "You know a good place?"

    Old Ricks face split into a rotten smile and he chortled happily. "Ehehehehe, do I know a place? I run the ''Riverstench Boys''. Of course I know a place!" He paused, waiting for some glimmer of recognition. He didn''t get one."Y''know, the ''Riverstench Boys''? Only ones to ever successfully rob the lord duke. We once stole a pirate ship with the pirates still aboard. Anything? Nothing?" Silence. His smile slid of his face like scum off a wall. "Founders of the Riverstench Black Market? We smuggle and steal all manner of goods and sell it. Course, them bloody bean counters been kinda taking it over lately but still..." His voice kind of faded and died at the end there.

    Onica smiled at Old Rick and released him as he flinched back from her very sharp teeth. "That sounds perfect. Take us there." She commanded.

    "Aye ma''am! Right this way!" He saluted with his stump and scuttled into the alley he had come from.

    We followed him as he led us on what must have been a confusing chase through the alleys of Hell. If I had any sense of direction I might have been lost. But since I haven''t got one of those I knew exactly where I was. It was where everything else was that is a mystery.

    Finally he led us to an abandoned building. Boarded up windows and graffitied walls. He knocked on the door and whispered something into the crack that opened. A bloated dwarf with a axe as large as he was opened the door and watched us enter with venomous eyes. Old Rick led us down some rough stairs into the cellar.

    Where somone had smashed in the far wall. It led into a large cave. A river ran through the cave, cutting through the mess of colorful tents and ramshackle huts that filled it. An occasional boat drifted down the river, docked, and unloaded some crates. Bright paper lanterns in dozens of bright hues lit up the cave and highlighted the dense smoke that scudded along the ceiling. The smoke came from numerous sources all over the camp and exited through some holes in the ceiling. Narrow paths between tents ran rife with skinny dirty children. Scampering around in near feral packs. Men and women hawked their wares to the largely hooded and cloaked crowd that shuffled about the place.

    "Welcome!" Screeched Old Rick. "To the Riverstench Black Market!" He attempted to gesture grandly and only managed to wiggle his stump suggestively.

    Lena started to applaude, but I stopped her.

    A sibilant voice cut through his attempt at grandeur. "I think what you meant to say young Rick was ''Welcome, to the Goldband Black Market!''." A shadow coalesced into a tall thin old man with slicked back gray hair and a pair of glimmering glasses perched on his prodigous nose. "Greetings all, I am Castor. I run this market on behalf of the Goldband Merchant Company. Here we offer anything you can dream of, and some things beyond your wildest dreams." He smiled, showing his straight but age yellowed teeth. "If you ask for it we will find it. If you can think of it we can sell it. Welcome, indeed, how may we serve you?" He finished with a bow and a flourish as his sonorous voice echoed into silence.

    Lena applauded.

    Onica approached Castor. They began discussing things in a very professional and complicated fashion. Lena had already joined in with a nearby pack of children who were oohing and aahing over her cape and mask as she preened happily. Old Rick was sulking and skulked away muttering to himself. I wandered into the maze of the market to see what there was to see.

    Knives and bows filled stands. All dully gleaming with the promise of murder and violence. Jars of pickled everything covered tables. I saw a whole human head in one. Vials of poisons and antidotes filled racks next to tomes with disturbingly detailed drawings of the insides of a person. Strange herbs and powders were advertised to allow one to percive the true nature of the universe. These were passed around in long pipes by skinny men and women. All of whom seemed very out of sorts. Gemstones of all shapes and colors were scattered atop black felt-topped tables like stars in the nights sky. Strange old wrinkled women offered to tell you your future in exchange for money or some of those odd herbs. And all around hooded, masked, cloaked people were haggling, buying and selling goods and services. The constant chime and clatter of jangles passing hands spread over all else.

    Nothing caught my eye until I saw something curious. A luxurious looking tall black hat. With crimson and gold feathers tucked inside its hatband. All locked in a cage of pure copper. Occasional arcs of electricity jumped between the bars. This was the only thing for sale in a ragged and scorched tent run by a wild eyed muttering man with frazzled hair and blackened fingers. As soon as he saw me looking at the hat with interest he leapt into his story.

    This was a cursed hat. A tophat to be more precise. All who wore it would be struck by lightning. No matter where they were. Indoors, underground, it made no difference. He was odd, and a bad salesman, he pretty much shoved the cage into my arms.I barely had given him five bits of jangles before he had scampered cackling into the shadows.

    The hat tried to talk to me but I sealed it in some tinglewood and ignored it for now. Listening to a cursed object seems like a bad idea. I''ll do it tomorrow if I am not too busy.

    Lena popped up shortly after that. She eyed my burden oddly before gushing forth with her tales of fun with friends and she showed me a small pile of gems, sapphires and pearls, her friends had given her for the jangles. I wonder where those kids found gems? No matter. She had fun so I was happy. "Can I come back and play with my friends again mister?" Lena asked.

    "As long as you are armed and disguised. And eat your vegetables." I offered. I had noticed Lena had been leaving her green veggies after meals. She agreed grudgingly.

    Onica came out of the crowd. Rather the crowd split and let her out. She had new clothes and was cradling a wrapped parcel in her arms.

    She had a cloak in varying shades of grays, the eye just kind of slid off of it. Simple black pants tucked into soft gray boots midcalf. A dagger was strapped to each ankle. A simple creme shirt had a thick bandolier across it. Small knives and vials of what looked like the poisons I had seen earlier were tucked into the pouches on the bandolier. A harness hung around her hips holding two short and sharp looking cutlasses with spikes on the hand guards. A stilletto was tucked in a sheath at the small of her back and a dirk was in a hanging sheath between her shoulder blades.

    She looked very happy.

    The parcel turned out to be a poison kit. Hundreds of small sealed compartments hold the various ingredients. A mortar and pestle along with a small series of glass vials and tubing were contained inside the collapsing box as well. It was a marvel of precision engineering.

    All in all I got a cursed hat, Lena got some shinies, Onica got an arsenal. Good shopping day I think!

    We headed back to theHouse of Dancing Wings after that. Onica seemed equal parts amused and disgusted by the ladies on the Heaven island. No idea why. She is bunking with Lena for now. I suppose I will have to introduce her to Tara.

    Oh, I bet Esmeralda will justlove Onica.

    Goodnight.

 What was that!

    Hello again. So, a couple of interesting things happened today.

    First of all Julius is back! Poor little buddy stumbled back into the House of Dancing Wings just as the sun was setting. He was exhausted and filthy. Looked like he had been bathing in ash and dirt. He was also skinnier than I remember. Judging from how he scarfed down the fresh veggies I got for him he must have been starving.

    I introduced Julius and Onica. She was kind of distracted though. See, Onica and Esmeralda had met earlier today. It didn''t go well.

    I wasn''t there but according to eyewitness reports, Lena, as soon as they saw each other sparks started to fly. Words like ''mangy cat'' and ''little bug'' got throw around. Then fists got thrown. Then knives. Ugh, Lena managed to pull a repeat of the other day with the ice prisons, but I doubt the two fiery women will cool off.

    So when I introduced Julius to Onica she was mixing poisons and sharpening her brand new knives. She seemed interested in Julius and she was polite, but when a lady is mixing a poison that causes you to go temporarily insane; and sharpening a stiletto with extreme focus. Well, conversation is strained and dies quickly.

    Lena was super happy to see Julius. She captured him and took him off with her to bed. Lena went back to the Black Market today. Her friends let her in and she came back with more gems and a wicked looking dirk she wears on her hip like a little sword. She gushed about her friends and the games they played. I think she robbed a merchant caravan. She had fun though so its okay.

    As for me, after I introduced Onica to Tara she wanted to have a chat with me. Tara, not Onica. We settled in a small room with comfy chairs and a table for tea.

    She sat in her seat, being all serious and boring. "Thank you for agreeing to see me mister... we really need to give you a name." Taras brow furrowed and she tapped at her chin with her finger. Getting distracted so easily from her serious discussion atmosphere. Is that alright?

    "I guess. Being called mister is kind of awkward." I said with a shrug. I guess I could use a name. I could have given myself one. But a name is how others call you. So I think others should give it to me. It was decided we would ask for ideas from the ladies here and my companions.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    After we finished getting sidetracked by somehing as silly as my name Tara got all serious again. Now that I know its just a thin cover over her usual breezy blissful attitude I was much more relaxed.

    She began again "Okay, so. I am the spymaster of the ruler of Papil. Just thought I''d get that out there first." She stopped and looked at me intently.

    Why? Was I supposed to have a response? "Ok. What is a spymaster?" Seriously. I don''t know things. I thought that had been established. Tara visibly deflated after my response. She slumped and her forehead met the tea table in between us with a smack that made me flinch.

    "Uuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh, You know I have been super stressed about how to tell you this, right? Cause you''re a super crazy strong fire monster who could burn this whole city down in an afternoon, right? And I didn''t want to alarm or piss you off so I have been walking on eggshells for days. You get it right? Its ok for me to be depressed about overthinking it right?" She droned out into the smooth wood.

    "Um, yeah. It is ok. Sorry I scared you?" I offered hoping to stop her from slamming her head on anymore tables. I was getting a sympathy headache from the last one.

    Tara lifted her head just enough to make eye contact. "You are forgiven. What happened to your eyes by the way? Or wait, were they always purple? And glowing? I feel like I would have remembered that? And where did you get a Ferox Champion? There are only twelve in the world and they never leave their tribe. AND WHAT IS WITH YOU, LENA, AND JULIUS!!! You are all crazy monsters disguised as a man, child, and fluffy animal right? Why are you all together? What is your goal? What will send you into a frenzy of destruction? How can I save my city from you? You do know that something has been destroying nearby cities right? Why does all this crap happen now! I was almost retired! It is okay if I am depressed right? Three years from retirement and suddenly there are monsters everywhere. It was bad enough when it was just that old lady in the hills. She was reasonable, mostly, but you three? An amnesiac who refuses to learn social norms, a child who has a more devious mind than most bandit ''kings'', and a freaking rabbit who can turn everything I love and worked for into ashes. Uuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh!!" I think Tara just blurted all her fears into my ears. Then she started to cry.

    I don''t know what to do with a crying woman. If it is Lena I would pick her up and cradle her to my chest while telling her its all going to be alright. This feels different but I went with it anyway. Tara froze in shock when I picked her up but she started crying into my shirt when I told her it would all be ok. This went on for a long time.

    Once she was done she looked up at me with a tremulous smile. "Thanks, I needed that." She said before stretching her neck and touching my lips with hers.

    The world exploded, I think? Anyway, someone must have put it all back together because it is still there. The rest of the day is a blur to me until Julius showed up.

    I really liked that.

    Goodnight.

 Boiling waters

    Hello again. Today seemed like a good day.

    When I was woken up by a flying Lena screaming "Rain of Pain!" followed by a perfect landing with both feet firmly planted on my stomach. That was when I knew it was going to be a long day. Lena and Julius wanted to go play, but first Julius wanted his tinglewood. I was still half asleep and fully in pain so I gave it to him without much thought.

    That may have been a mistake.

    See, Tara had mentioned that there were cities nearby getting wrecked. I had just assumed it was Julius doing the wrecking. I mean, it does seem like something he would do if he got agitated. Turns out I was wrong. More on that later.

    So they took off into the streets of Papil with basically a super weapon apiece. I think Tara would have cried if she knew that.

    Onica decided to follow them to "Keep the city from being destroyed." and Esmeralda followed her. I guess they are feuding over who is the best big sister for Lena. Did they ask Lena? Somehow I doubt it. They were both in full battle dress. Onica with her poisons and myriad of blades, and Esmeralda in full plate armor and with a battleaxe on her back. They both looked quite intimidating.

    Once the crazy ones were gone I decided it was time to talk to the cursed tophat.

    I had just drug the tinglewood box into the training courtyard where lightning bolts wouldn''t damage anything, and was about to open the box when a lot of explosions happened in the distance.

    Now, normally I would ignore explosions. But considering I had just unleashed two terrifying forces of nature upon the unfortunate city of Papil I felt obligated to at least check on them. Maybe join in if it looked like fun.

    I think I heard Taras head hit a table.

    I put the tinglewood box back in my room and put on my awesome disguise. Then I flew out of the misty island and towards the bay. Which is where the explosions were coming from.

    A dozen sleek black warships were anchored in the bay. The shattered hulks of the Papil city navy sinking into the hungry waves around them. Small boats were ferrying men from the warships to the shore. On the hightown side of the shore a beachhead had been established and the local guards were in full retreat. On the lowtown side the docks were on fire and explosions swept the shore.

    A giant bunny and squirrel were leaping about the roofs of the warehouses. Throwing ice and fire at a man in white armor with a shiny sword. All the ice was swept aside easily as the man waved his pearlescent sword about. The waves and water then drowned Julius'' flames. Whoever this fella was he was giving Julius and Lena a hard time. Which is kind of crazy. I saw Onica sneak behind him and with a single leap she buried three different knives, presumably poisoned, into the gaps between the plates of his white armor.

    He didn''t even flinch.

    The his sword swept at an impossible angle, aimed directly at Onicas throat. She dodged desperately and as she landed a wave smashed into her from behind and promptly froze solid. Esmeralda came roaring through the roof from directly below the man and tried to cleave him in half with her axe. Again his arm moved unnaturally, this time I was close enough to hear the snap of tendons and muscle as his arm bent the wrong way to nearly piece Esmeralda through the top of her head.

    Lena had hopped down and freed Onica from her icy coffin.

    Julius kicked the armored man away before Esmeralda got killed.

    I swept down fom the sky and drop kicked him into the ground.

    More cracks and snaps sounded out as the man wrenched himself from the dirt and his manged limbs reoriented themselves into the proper position. His previously gleaming armor was dirtied and dented. But his sword shined brighter than ever. Then he shambled out of the crater I had made with him and I saw him clearly for the first time. He was unbelieveably pale. He never blinked, and he never breathed. This man was a corpse. The sword in his hand was lifted and pointed at me.

    Ah, it was the sword all along. It simply used the blood in the mans body to puppet him.

    Gross.

    I formed a sword from tingle wood and rocketed at the offending article. A simple parry and sweep and the arm wielding the ghoulish blade was separated from the rest of the corpse. The body collapsed like the meat sack it was. The sword however quivered and a strand of water plucked it from the air and into the bay.

    A swimming sailor, one of those lucky few who survived the destruction of their ships, started to scream before he was dragged under the water. Soon the sword re-emerged in the hands of a new meat puppet. I guess it felt it needed a wielder?

    "Mister! No fair! That was ours!" Lena yelled at me as she and Julius returned from helping Onica and Esmeralda.

    I pointed at the dozen warships. "You can play with those if you''d like?" I offered. This sword gave me a bad feeling. I wanted to destroy it myself.

    Lena pouted for a second. "Humph, fine! Hey Julius, betcha I can sink more than you!" Lena shot off, her squirrel turning into a sea slither before it slipped under the waves. Julius rocketed towards the nearest warship with an excited and determined squeak. His battle bunny already covered in flames.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.

    I watched as one of the ships simply got dragged beneath the surface and another exploded into splinters upon Julius reaching it. Then I turned my attention back to the sword. While I was distracted it had dragged its puppet towards the docks, and had begun butchering the guards who had arrived. I walked over to it and while it was busy decapitating a pleading man I cut off its new puppets arm. Before it could react I grabbed its blade with two tinglewood gauntleted hand and began to twist and burn it.

    A high pitched shriek of metal on metall rang through the air. Ice tried to cover me but my flaming cape kept it from getting a grip on me and I felt the blade begin to warp. The shrieks shrilled and trilled wildly and suddenly a massive wave smashed into me. The water dowsed my flames, and I was dragged beneath the waves of the bay.

    The sword in my hand began to twist and buck. Dragging me through the steadily colder water, and slamming me into various rocks on the bottom. Blades of ice gouged at my tinglewood armor ineffectually as needles of ice tried to slam into my eyes. I burned. I burned everything. The water shifted and roiled around me and it turned to steam and re-formed into water and ice as the sword and I fought for dominance. In the end we may have been in its element. But I had it in my hands. The metal deformed and cracked under my molten grip. Its shrieks grew higher and higher until finally with a sharp *crack* the sword was shattered.

    A wave of tingles swept out of the sword. It was different from mine, more refined and cold with a terrible thirst. I could feel as they slowly faded into the background. Losing their unique feeling until finally they could no longer be felt at all.

    I wonder if thats how it will feel when I die? Fading into the background of the world. Slowly becoming part of all. Doesn''t sound to bad. Still, I think being alive is more pleasant.

    When I surfaced the warships were either burning splinters of drowned wrecks trapped in ice on the bottom of the bay. Looks like Lena won. She was in her element after all.

    I made her favorite fish dish as a reward at her request.

    Onica and Esmeralda were both cleaning up the remnants of the landing parties so we left them to it and went back to Taras. Tara wasn''t happy about all the damage but seemed understanding that it could have been much worse. We offered her the treasure in the ships Lena had trapped as an apology. Lena offered I should say. Julius seemed to disagree but he caved after a cuddle session. I didn''t really care either way.

    After that we had lunch and I got taught a game called poh-kur by Lena. I guess her friend had shown her it. I was terrible at it. Soon Tara and some of her ladies joined. Esmeralda swung by for a game but stormed off after a loss. Onica came by but vanished after a little bit. While she was gone we played some more games with little cubes of wood or bone and more of the painted paper rectangles.

    I really suck at these ''games of chunce'' as they are called.

    Onica came back around dinner time with some news. Some of the captured invaders had been interrogated. No mention of who interrogated them though.

    So the story ran like this.

    Long ago, a young man had been fishing in a small mountain lake. Suddenly a pair of snow white arms had risen from the lake holding aloft a beautiful sword. The young man had taken the sword and gone to town to show it off. Word spread and soon warriors of renown and mighty princes came looking for this wonderous blade.

    They asked to purchase it from the young man, but he was unwilling. So they tried to take it from him by force. This was when the swords magical nature became revealed. For though the young man was no fighter he won every challenge. The bearer of the sword would not bleed, no matter how gravely you wounded him. He would not tire, no matter how long you fought him. And he would not speak, no matter how you enticed him.

    It was thought, and all agreed, that such powers came with a price. Silence was not such a terrible price to pay for such generous gifts. And so Artur the White rose to prominence and power in his land. He eventually became King, and still rules to this day. For the sword had a final gift for its bearer. Eternal youth and vigor. He hadn''t aged a day since he took his first challenge all those years ago.

    Now such a King was the pride of his people and many of his neighboring kings showered him with gifts. Shiny baubles and chests of coin held no allure for Artur. Only one present had ever moved him to personally accept it. A scabbard, encrusted with qems and made of ivory and velvet. This beautiful scabbard caught the kings eye above all else and he wore it constantly at his side.

    Then, not so very long ago, the scabbard was stolen. This sent Artur the White into a rage. He gathered his fleets and armies and marched on his neighbors without a word. And so he had perished here in Papil, at my hands.

    Cool story.

    When she finished we were all riled up from a good story and a fun day. With Julius back and feeling better I was in a festive mood that no number of lost card games could pull from under my feet! Lena started it. After dinner she skipped outside and made herself a little dance partner. As they gamboled about happily in the midst of the luminous butterflys I felt such happiness I simply had to join them! I took off into the sky just above the garden and started to dance and create.

    My familiar winged dance partner joined me for a round as slithers and swords swept into motion. I drew arcs of firey ribbons into the air as lions and bears tangoed. Firey elves partnered up for a smooth waltz while smouldering dwarves caroused roughly. Wrecker made another appearance as I had her and her crimson twin dance above the ponds of th garden. Below us the ladies had dragged each other into the garden and they danced beneath the crimson ball. Julius joined in with raucous glee. Summoning hundreds of jigging rabbits he joined in a colossal circle around the garden.

    Onica started a slow dance with blades in her hands, she slowly sped up until she was a humming blur of flashing metal and limbs reflecting the firelight. Lena had captured Esmeralda and the short woman was forced to dance wildly around the darden with the excited child. Tara joined in happily, laughing and drinking something while she let out all her stress in a wild dance of abandon. Some of the ladies grabbed drums and flutes, harps and cymbals. A heady fast beat spread like wildfire and ignited the dancers to new heights of motion and emotion.

    Slowly things died down, long into the night. Onica and Tara were holding each other up while drinking from jugs and singing wildly and offkey as they stumbled away. Esmeralda was collapsed in a gazebo and snoring. Lena and Julius had retired hours ago, and I was exhausted. I watched the butterflies and moths dance for a while longer and then went to bed.

    Ah, I forgot the cursed hat again!

    Meh, tomorrow is fine I guess. Not like I need to feed it.

    There is still a mystery though.

    Where did Julius go? If Artur was the one destroying cities then why was Julius all roughed up and tired?

    I guess we may never know.

    Goodnight.

 Up a tree

    HeIlo again. Today I went off alone.

    I was sick of people. Of all the noise and motion they create. So I climbed a tree. One of those big ones near the tiny town of former slaves. I climbed up the trunk, gripping the ridges running around the dense plates of bark.

    Sticky sap clung to my hands and clothes. I left it. It made gripping easier. Eventually I found a wide branch under open sky. I lay down on my back. Looked at the blue sky and the occasional leaf in the breeze. My hands running over the rough bark.

    Admiring the textures. The layers of coarse and smooth. How long has this tree stood I wondered? How long had these branches held up the sky? A small movement caught the corner of my eye. A small black ant. Trundling along the branch. How long did it take such a small critter to climb so high? Another caught my eye, then another. A line of ants. Heading who knows where.

    They moved with purpose. They had a mission, a calling. Goals and destinations.

    All things I do not have.

    I wonder which of us is better off?This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    I suppose I want to know who I am. Where I am from. Why I don''t remember. Those are less goals, and more vague curiosity. I once truly cared. I craved to know who I was. Now I am more interested in finding out who I am.

    Why do I have companions? Julius is a partner. He walks with me, not behind me. If he should decide our paths split someday I will see him off with a farewell and some tears. But Lena? Why do I insist on dragging a poor little girl around behind me. Why does she stay?

    I need her. She is a voice I did not know I was missing.

    When I was all alone I had nothing to hold on to. No creeds, no passions besides eat and stay alive. I was merely existing. Lena gives me a reason to live. To protect, foster, and raise young. An instinctual need that defines people. That forges communities and nations. I needed that, to be considered human. Lena makes me human.

    I think?

    I don''t know.

    So moody today, Me. Why?

    All that craziness yesterday? No, this has been a while coming. All the people. They are distracting. Julius and Lena too. I am so focused on them that I forgot Me. Looks like some cracks have been forming on my mind while I was distracted. I wonder if anything is coming through the cracks?

    Some old vestiges of who I was? I doubt very highly that I am anything like my former self. Maybe something from my past is fighting what could be my future?

    No worries, I am sure it''ll all work itself out for the best eventually. Just give it time.

    Why worry about the future? It isn''t even here yet. Why worry about the past? It is already gone. Lets focus on the present.

    I should be heading back I suppose...

    Goodnight.

 Oopsy-daisy

    Hello again. So. Today I learned what happens if you set a duke on fire.

    Short version: He dies screaming. You run like hell.

    Longer version goes thusly.

    So I guess Duke something-or-other is Taras boss, and she needs to report to him when something like an invasion happens. So he found out about us.

    Lena got grabbed by some unfortunate souls when she was out playing with her friends. I don''t know what their plan was, but I doubt getting shanked to death in an alley and then fed to swine was part of it. Her friends just got my stamp of approval! Nice kids.

    Julius they actually stuffed in a cage.

    Ah, that hat is still in the box isn''t it? I hope it is a patient sort of cursed object.

    Anyway, Julius was stuffed in a cage while hopping about in the garden. He showed some tremendous restraint and only the offending men were reduced to charcoal. The garden was unharmed!

    Super proud of him for that.

    Tara is under enough pressure as it is without her sanctum being torched.

    As for me. Some pompous ass with a white outfit covered in shiny medals, and a wide blue sash running across his chest accosted me when I was eating some noodles at a street cart in lowtown. I ignored him, assuming he was some kind of idiot.

    You shouldn''t be mean to the differently-abled.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    He kept yapping though. Eventually I got sick of him demanding my allegiance and servitude so I walked away. He tried following me but I am as good at losing others as I am at getting lost myself.

    Why do I feel like I just insulted myself?

    Sadly when I returned to the House of Dancing Wings after eating more noodles at a different cart he was waiting there. What can I say, those carts have the best noodles.

    He was with some fat guy with greasy hair who he introduced pompously as ''His grace, Duke blahblahblahblah''

    I stopped listening.

    When I ignored them and went to go around them some other idiot in shiny armor bellowed something about insolence and punishment before trying to skewer me with a spear I assumed was ceremonial. From all the ribbons and gems and crap on it.

    I burned him into a pile of slag on the ground. The fat one seemed excited by this. He chortled and sort of waddled over to me. Offering lands and titles I didn''t need nor want in return for utter and complete servitude to himself. I lit his hair on fire.

    Honestly I thought he would panic and leave me alone, but other than some burns and a bald spot I thought he would be fine.

    Who uses flammable hair product and cologne?

    That guy!

    He went up like a bonfire on a tar pit. His fat ignited and things started to burst and pop in between his screams. His sheer bulk meant that he burned for a very long time. I think he was alive for most of it too.

    Sorry about that.

    Anyway, Tara freaked out and we ended up running down a secret tunnel that led us out of the city.

    I asked what we were running from. I mean, seriously, what could threaten us? An army was Taras response. I still think we could take an army, but to give Tara some peace of mind in return for being a good host and friend we agreed to run and hide.

    Julius and Lena are taking it as a game, but Onica is taking it more seriously. According to her, Papil may be a small and weak power, but there is a larger power behind it.

    These powers can be kingdoms, clans, churches, or what-have-you. And they are all protected from one another by old powerful secrets. Weapons, monsters, heros, elders, even gods. These are what we are running from.

    As I lie back on some soft grass next to the box containing the cursed tophat, and gaze up at the stars through the forest canopy I have a single question.

    Could I beat a god?

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: Angus Journal, The Papil Incident.

    6E. 29/8/179

    Those blasted quacks in the ''healthy mind'' ministry of education finally let me go. They decided that what I saw in the desert was the result of some combination of exhaustion, dehydration, or unknown poison from some critter in the fallen lands. Could may be. I still think it was real, and that those doctors need to be locked up or shot.

    Crazy bastards didn''t even try talking to the other men who were with me!

    Dwarves don''t hallucinate. And we don''t succumb to dehydration as easily as men do. Our mountain homes are dry arid places. If you travel through the deeps you could be without water for weeks. We shrivel up a bit, but we bounce right back with a nice pint and a bath.

    And only the strongest of brews and poisons affect us. Something of an acquired trait that. Most dwarves start drinking when they start working. About five or six.

    And we sure as hell don''t get exhausted! Damn fools obviously know nothing of dwarven mining procedures. We work until we drop, and that happens roughly the same time we run out of things to mine. Me great-mama worked 56 hours straight when her root cellar expansion hit a gold vein. That was last week! Shes 108!

    Humans, sosuperior,bah! Wimps, the lot of them!

    *****

    6E. 4/9/179

    So there I was, helping me great-mama haul her gold to the clan vault. When a fucking airship came up to the peak, and some fool started bellaring orders for the brimstone brigade to form up and board it.

    O''course that set off the peak shriekers. They shredded the fools stabilizer balloons and down she fell. Smashed Gurdys general store it did.

    *Sigh* What the blazes was so urgent that they forgot standard peak procedures to try and get us in the air? NEVER and I mean NEVER! startle the peak shriekers. The blasted birds are the size of three dwarves and twice as mean as a drunk berserker who just got dumped by his girlfriend after buying her an engagment axe. We leave them alone and they keep the dragons off of our peaks. Win-win.

    It''s their instinct to swarm anything big and loud that gets near their nests, see. Like a roaring dragon. Or a screaming idiot in an airship

    Fool killed himself and a lot of good men with his impatience.

    *****

    6E. 6/9/179

    Messenger arrived today.

    Turns out something attacked and destroyed the treaty ships that were carrying out negotiations over the seas by the storm wall. When the fleets of both nations got the distress call they scrambled battle cruisers to the area. One of which came to pick us up and was promptly destroyed.

    Lucky for us though. Cause none of the ships that left ever came back.

    What in the name of Roris'' beard did they run into!

    Something out of the stormwall maybe? Heard there are some wicked monsters inside. Never heard of one coming out though.

    Anyway, we the brimstone brigade were ordered to march to the nearest coastal city, Papil on the Pervolo peninsula. We are to " Protect the kingdoms assets in the area, and provide peace-keeping measure as directed by the local ruler." Basically we are to be a bullyboy for some fat-arsed human to help him keep his ill-gotten gains while also fighting off any monsters that come from the sea.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    Lovely.

    Maybe we will get lucky and the monster will have already eaten the city by the time we arrive. It is quite a march.

    *****

    6E. 10/9/179

    Scout ships report seeing two insanely powerful monsters fighting on a beach not to far from Papil a few days ago. They couldn''t get a good look at them because of large clouds of steam obscuring their vision. They fled pretty quickly too. Said they didn''t want to attract the winners attention.

    Wisdom and cowardice are sometimes hard to tell apart.

    What in the blazes is going on in that area! Monsters are cropping up all over the place!

    Hopefully they killed each other. If I lose good dwarves fighting monsters for some weak willed ungrateful human I will be furious!

    Just about another week out from Papil. Please, please, please let there be nothing horrifying waiting for us there. Or at least a smoking crater we can shrug and walk away from.

    *****

    6E. 17/9/179

    Forced march through the day and into the night to get to Papil.

    We saw smoke rising from its general location and muted explosions could be heard.

    We arrived at a overlooking hill. Some scouts and I went to go check the situation before I commit my boys in a suicide attack. We got to the crest of the hill. When I peeked over, there it was.

    The Fire Ball.

    Even bigger than I remember. Hovering over one of the central islands.

    I knew I hadn''t imagined it! Bloody knew it!

    Still though. I am not sending my boys, exhausted as they are, to fight whatever hellish being is responsible for that.

    I will infiltate the city tomorrow with a small team of elites. Look for information and if possible exterminate the source.

    I will rewrite my will tonight.

    *****

    6E. 18/9/179

    We snuck in at daybreak. As we were climbing the wall some human in a firey red cloak and mask was leaving the same way. He headed into the woods. I sent a scout after him just in case.

    I got in contact with the local lord. He was as fat and cowardly as I had expected. He summoned his head of intelligence, an elf. As beautiful as her kind tend to be and a tad bit scatter-brained and nervous. I suppose thats only natural considering what happened yesterday.

    Some two-bit king from a tiny island in the archipelago west of here had attacked. Would have won the city too if he hadn''t run into three monsters. The spymaster seemed rather nervous when the monsters were mentioned.

    Some pointed questions later and she cracked like good stone under a well swung pick.

    Turns out she has been harboring them in her brothel, her cover is as a brothel mistress, for some time now.

    The daft twat, excuse me, the local lord immediately demanded she give them to him. Like they were a sword or gem or something. Greed filled his eyes and he ordered me and my men to leave the city and not report this to the king.

    Idiot.

    We left, it is his city after all, but we will of course inform the king. He can''t silence us. I''ve seen the quality of his guards. Pathetic. A dwarf trainee has more disciplne than them. I wouldn''t trust them to stand guard over an empty mine, or to protect a particularily shiny boulder without trying to pocket it.

    Let fools hang themselves. We will sit back and enjoy the show.

    *****

    6E, 19/9/179

    Well, the duke is dead. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The scout I had follow the suspicious red cloak guy returned and said he just climbed a tree and spent the whole day lying on a branch.

    Obviously some kind of odd druid. Then again, all druids are odd. Anyway he is of no concern.

    The duke attempted to take the monsters for himself. He lost most of his loyal men and his own life. Not sure what his plan was, but it sure didn''t work.

    The monsters vanished afterwards. I will be sending in a report, and for now the city of Papil will be run by the elven spymistress. She complained about her retirement, but she is the only one I have seen here competent enough to run a city without destroying it or robbing it blind.

    Elves may be treehugger lowlanders, but they are smart and cagey. Perfect for running a skeezehole like Papil. At least for a little while.

    Hope the monsters run far away from here. So I don''t get ordered to fight them.

    Speaking of retirement, I only have a few more years of service. Then I will open a pub and a mine. Mine pub. Haha.

    I hope I never see that monster again. I do wonder how it got out of the fallen lands though, and then all the way over here without a sighting. Regardless I am not reporting the Fire Ball. Not going back for more ''counseling''.

    Bloody quacks.

 Writing in big bros book- by Lena

    Hiya Book! Today big bro did some more silly things.

    He does things that seem dumb a lot, but normally they work out for him. Today he was unlucky though. Because they dumb thing he did hurt him badly.

    He is fine though, so don''t worry Book. He just can''t write. He said I needed to write the days events for him. So here are the stuff that happened today!

    1. We got lost. I had the map, and I had a compass. Now I don''t have a map or a compass. Big bro burned the map when he couldn''t understand it...

    I tried to glare at him like big sis Onica glared at that little dirty man the other day but he just smiled at me and said he knew where he was going.

    He did not.

    We got lost and the compass stopped working when Julius tried to eat it. Why?!

    I guess I shouldn''t have painted it to look like a berry, but he should have noticed it wasn''t a berry before he finished chewing it into scrap.

    It looked super cute too. Big sis Onica says I have talent with painting.

    Big sis Onica also says we are the smart ones, but that we aren''t smart enough to balance out their stupid. I like big sis. She is so wise,You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    2. I impressed big sis.

    I showed her my super cool ripplewood. Big bro says it is tinglewood because it responds to his tingles. But I don''t feel tingles. I feel ripples. So I call it ripplewood.

    Onica was so impressed she couldn''t speak for five whole minutes when I used it to crush a bandit group that tried to rob us.

    I waved it into the Mr. Fluffytail shape and had him fire sharp cold ripples at them from his tail. They froze and shattered.

    Victory for Lena!

    Onica was really interested in the ripplewood but when she couldnt control some un-rippled wood she got all sad. I gave her a hug to help her cheer up.

    It worked.

    3. Dumb bro opened the box.

    When dumby dumb bum bro opened the box a HUGE bolt of shining lightning crashed directly into his face. A screaming hat came flying out of the box.

    It clamped onto big bros head, and it has been shocking him and saying bad words I am not allowed to repeat ever since.

    Big sis keeps looking at big bro and laughing. It is funny watching him try to walk when one of his legs is stiff and the other jitters and jerks randomly. He keeps running into and falling off of stuff.

    Big bro is fine. The zappys don''t kill him, and the falls and crashes don''t hurt him because he has an idiot shield.

    Big sis said so.

    But he is all twitchy and keeps stuttering and falling over. So he can''t write today.

    So Lena writes!

    Onica can''t write in this language so I am teaching it to her. She is super smart! She showed me this little bug. It is cool looking, bright blue with red pincher on its face. By itself it is almost harmless to humans. But, if you mix the ground up bug with some nectar from a small black berry it becomes a super deadly poison.

    She said it causes people to fall asleep and dream of things so scary they die of fright.

    So cool!

    Ok, so now is supper time. Onica is making a tasty smelling stew.

    Bye-bye Book!

 Shocking developments

    Hello again. Hope you didn''t miss me to badly.

    Yesterday Lena filled in for me, such a sweetheart.

    She really took a liking to my pen. I was almost afraid I wouldn''t get it back. She released it after I promised her she could use it again some time. I did request she only use its powers for good. She just smiled at me.

    Should I be worried?

    Looking back at her entry into my journal she did a fantastic job. She covered the highlights of the day, and added her own observations and thoughts.

    I do protest the ''idiot shield'' comment though. Cleary my ability to survive so many misadventures is the product of my wits and sheer grit...

    Ok, I got lucky. A lot. But still though! ''Idiot shield'' seem a little cruel don''t you think?! I mean, sure, I do things that seem dumb looking back, but they have led to my greatest successes. The glowfruit, the tinglewood, the mysterious glowing fungus. I am not sure about that last one but I bet it''ll be awesome!

    Please let it give me super powers. That would be so cool! Though, I suppose as long as it doesn''t kill me I can''t complain.

    Looking back even my first meetings with Julius and Lena were products of my luck/stupidity.

    Mostly luck.

    Ugh, I bet there are even more examples, but I just can''t make myself look back through my journal in search of my own mistakes. I feel like it would be very painful. Besides, dwelling on your mistakes seems like a large waste of time and energy for no purpose.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

    Onica says that acknowledging my mistakes would make me a stronger person.

    I suppose I can split the difference, and get stronger by refusing to reflect on my mistakes. Does it work that way?

    I am sure it does. Probably.

    Anyway, the hat finally stopped zapping me around sunset today. It exhausted itself I suppose, and now it just sits on my head. I think it is sleeping. Hopefully when it wakes up it will have calmed down a bit. I do think it looks nice on me. So hopefully we can reach some kind of accord in the morning.

    I tried removing it, but no luck. Damn thing is clinging on tightly. I won''t burn it either. I paid good jangles for a cool hat and I will not waste them by burning it. It just looks to cool to burn.

    Oh, that might have been a pun. I''ll have to try it out on Onica. If it makes her laugh its a really good pun. I think. So far none of my puns have managed to move the stern lady. That just means I need to try harder!

    For the puns!

    I am quite tired today. It was hard to sleep with all the noise and flashing light from the lightning bolts that the hat sent through me all night long. Not to mention the twitching and jerking. Makes it hard to snuggle anywhere when an errant spark sends your legs kicking in opposite directions, and your head slamming into any hard objects.

    My muscles are sore from all the twitching the have been doing. Turns out I can do the splits. It hurts a whole lot, but I can do it.

    Julius, Lena, and Onica kept their distance all day. I guess I can''t blame them, but it is kind of lonely spending all night awake with only a swearing hat and lightning bolts for company.

    The hat is sadly lacking in vocabulary. It just hopped between two swear words, and as many combinations of those swears as possible. Which is only like five different insults before it starts repeating them or just rambling wildy. It is kind of boring.

    Next time I pick up a cursed object and piss it off I will make absolutely certain it has a vast lexicon of insults and witty remarks. Y''know, if I ever do this again.

    Hm, did I just jinx myself? Hope not. Or wait, is that even how jinxs work? What is a jinx anyway? A curse of some variety I imagine.

    Ugh, I can''t stop yawning, and now I am rambling. It has been an exhausting couple of days. Did you know seizures are very tiring? With any luck the cursed hat will sleep through the night, and allow me to do the same.

    Wish me luck.

    Goodnight.

 Rage both enhances and diminishes

    Hello again. Today has been very emotional.

    Things started earlier than normal. Long before the sun crested the horizon, and the earliest birds left their nests. It was in these gloomy hours of midnight that I made a terrible mistake.

    I had been locked into a deep and thankfully dreamless slumber. Brought about from my exhaustion when the fuse was lit.

    The hat woke up. With an earsplitting crack yet another bolt of lightning jolted me from the smothering embrace of sleep.

    Ripping the gentle covers of unconciousness from my mind, and plunging me into a strobing world of blinding light and deafening sound. My weary thoughts shook and blurred as reality fought with the ephemeral mists of blissful nothingness.

    The hat was awake, and it was angry. Well, two can play at that game.

    It took about a minute for my emotions to move from confusion, into exhaustion. From there they swung past depressed and bounced over irritated into complete fury.

    I reached up and ripped the hat from my head. I gripped the understandibly angered headgear in my fists and glared at it. Flames gushed from my body encasing us in a swirling cocoon of crimson glory! My eyes ached as Fury etched its cruel wishes into my exhausted mind. My flames collapsed and condensed into my eyes. Purple light blazed from my gaze and this violent violet bathed the suddenly very still hat.

    I had no words, for words cannot express the animalistic and feral rage I was feeling. So I Roared. I bellowed and raged at the poor piece of hattery and it trembled before me.

    Finally my breathe and rage died. Leaving my mouth and mind full of bitter ash. My eyes still ache and itch. What did I do?

    I replaced the hat on my head and went back to sleep.

    It did not disturb my rest again that night.

    I was too tired to look or notice but I wonder if I woke Julius, Lena and Onica with my outburst? Everyone was very subdued today. Julius barely burned anything, Lena didn''t go diving in the small steams we passed for new frogs and turtles, and Onica was always on guard and highstrung.

    If I scared them then I must reflect upon my actions. The very last thing I want is to frighten my friends, and have them leave me all alone again. I have grown used to their company and I would miss them dearly if they left. All the more so if they left because they feared me.Stolen story; please report.

    I do not know if I could survive such an event.

    I think it is best to lay fears to rest as openly as possible. To face them boldy and openly. So I approached the three of them and asked for theeir forgiveness for my actions. No excuses, no pleading. Just a straightforward acknowledgement of my wrongs, and a request to put them behind us as well as understanding if that proved impossible.

    Julius gave a refined nose wiggle, and with a single dignified hop he plopped into my lap. Allowing me to pet his soft anf fluffy fur. I will take that as a very graceful acceptance of my apologies. I am very grateful he did not hold the outburst against me.

    Lena teared up a little and crashed into my gut before giving my ribs a crushing hug. She is getting stronger huh? She was crying and sniffling into my shirt when she was talking. But I think she said she never wanted to see me so angry ever again. That I was her dumb big bro and all I had to do was be my bumbling foolish self so she could save me from myself. I guess I really freaked her out and scared her. I have never felt so ashamed.

    Until later that is.

    Onica gave me a measuring glare. She then simply nodded and murmured her acceptance. Onica is kind of cool isn''t she? Rarely ruffled and always ready. I am glad Lena got such a reliable big sis.

    Then I lifted the hat from my head and asked forgiveness for my crimes against it. Not only had I imprisoned it for nearly a week in a small box, but I had even threatened its life. Sure it had been shocking me. But for all it knew I was its imprisoner and intended it harm. For all the annoyance its shocks brought me I had never once felt any sense of maliciousness or desire to cause me harm. Just outrage and a good bit of fear. Understandable enough emotions all things considered.

    I have done both it and my friends wrong. It can clearly think and feel. It is as much a person as I am. So I apologized to it. I expressed my embarassment and sorrow for how I had treated it so far. Locking it up, and nearly destroying it when it tried to defend itself from what must have clearly looked like an enemy. I had been impatient, unfeeling, and sadly negligent of its wellbeing. And so I was sorry. I offered to protect it should it stay, and to aide it should it desire to leave. I would take it anywhere it wished to be released and free it.

    Silence followed my words. Then a quiet sob rode the still air of the forest clearing we had paused in for me to apologize to my companions. The hat wailed and sobbed. It had the voice of a young child.

    What had I done? Imprisoning and torturing a young being. I am the lowest sort of scum.

    That was the most ashamed I have ever felt

    Never again will I let another beings form influence whether or not it has value.

    The hat sniffled and sobbed all day. Its brim soggy with tears(?) as its feathers quivered.

    Now it is night. The stars shine overhead, as I look at them I wonder if any of them are alive too?

    I will talk with the hat tomorrow. Hopefully I can make things right. If it demands its freedom I will let it go happily. Maybe even give it some tinglewood to aid its travels. I feel it is the least I can do.

    Goodnight.

 Super bird, and also a hat

    Hello again. Today I followed a bird.

    Sorry, I know I should probably start with the tophat and explain how that whole situation worked out.

    But this is a crazy awesome bird and if I don''t write about it right away I won''t be able to calm down.

    Well, following may be a poor choice of words to describe what we are doing.

    See, we were walking through the woods, sure are lots of woods in these parts aren''t there? Not that I am complaining mind you. I love the woods. The stilted sunshine between the trunks. The creatures, both big and small. All the cool fruit and hilarious fungi.

    That was a pun by the way. Kind of. I tried it on Onica and she just glared at me. Then again she is in a foul mood right now. I will try it again later.

    I love the way the wind loses its bite as it flows through the trees, and becomes whispers in the leaves. Oh, and the smells! The rich scented loam of fallen leaves. Just a hint of bitter and sour rot from the fallen trees and fungi. All cut with the sharp scent of the occasional pine tree, and with just a hint of animal musk under it all. Lovely complex smells!

    Hm, I seem to have become rather sidetracked. No matter.

    So, we were walking through the woods. I happened to glance up and saw a birds nest. Not that rare a sighting in the woods I know, but this was no ordinary birds nest! It was truly massive! I could have probably fit three of the original Ivers Dream side by side in it with room to spare.

    Naturally I was up the tree and in the, sadly, empty nest in a flash. Much to the despair and annoyance of my companions.

    Onica in particular seems rather distraught. She is currently cradling her head in her hands while curled up into a ball and muttering to herself. "Why do I follow him? I know it will lead to disaster. But what if Lena gets hurt following him into these idiotic diasters? Stay strong Onica, he will die someday." I think she is exaggerating a bit. What we have here isn''t a disaster. It is an adventure!

    Once we were all settled into the nest. Julius and Lena had followed me up quite quickly despite their grumblings, and Onicas pouting and pessimism. Outnumbered and probably unwilling to leave Lena to whatever, no doubt terrible, fate I was headed toward she followed us up shortly after. She wasn''t happy about it though.

    Within seconds of her arrival in the nest an ear-splitting screech split our ears. Because that''s what they do, obviously. Then a colossal bird swooped down, grabbed the whole nest from the top of the tree in its talons and took off for parts unknown. Naturally we were still in the nest and along for the ride.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    To adventure Mr. Bird!

    So we have been flying since then. The sun is going down. The dying light plays off of our carriers feathers. Deep blacks and grays mottle its feathered form. A flat face set with round golden eyes point forwards, and thick fully feathered legs lead down to the Lena sized wicked black talons that have hooked onto the nest.

    It is very floofy and soft looking. It has powerful broad wings that beat the air with disturbingly little sound. If this thing came at me from behind I wouldn''t know it was there until I was in its grasp. Probably far to late by then.

    That said, it is a pretty bird. I wonder how it tastes?

    Not that I would eat it mind you. I owe it for carrying us so quickly and smoothly. Still, I can imagine. Drumsticks the size of Onica.

    Ah, I''m drooling.

    Julius and I are leaning on the front edge of the nest. Gazing down at the passing vistas far below. The forests peter out into rolling hills and twisting rivers. Ahead are tall grey mountains. The twilight paints everything is golds, purples, and oranges. Lovely.

    Lena is huddled further back close to the talons of our new friend. Thats how I could judge them to be roughly Lena sized. I don''t think she is enjoying this as much as I am.

    Onica is as I said. Curled up in the center of the nest. Alternating between glaring at me and the bird as she mutters threats and oaths. She''s kind of a scaredy-cat huh? ...don''t tell her I said that.

    The hat, or Mr. Hat as Lena calls it is setled firmly on my head. Yup, he decided to come with us. I am glad, it will give me more opportunities to make up for my egregious errors. He goes by Fen Worthy to all of us besides Lena. It is the name on his label, and he has taken it as his own.

    Fen cried all night long, and come morning he had calmed down enough for us to have a good talk. He is only four years old. A classy kid though. He spent most of his time around posh folk and has adopted much of his dialect and mannerisms from them. So he is proud, haughty even, and upright. He values his word and takes great pride in his appearance. When I complimented his feathers he preened and praised himself for almost a half-hour straight.

    Fen seems like he will fit right in with our group. He desperately wants to ''travel abroad, and see the world. Apparently his first wearer was always going on and on about his time traveling abroad, and since he never seemed to have any inclination of doind so again Fen took matters into his own hands(?) and left.

    Sadly a fancy hat can only get so far without a set of legs. Even one that can fly. Apparently Fen can manipulate air as well as lightning, but finds lighning far more interesting and fun. So While he can shock someone all night long he can only fly in short bursts of a few minutes before he must rest.

    Everytime Fen rested he would get grabbed by somebody. He learned to zap them and they would most often drop him and leave him be to rest. Not the fella I bought him from though. He got that copper cage after his first shocking confrontation with Fen. Poor little guy has been locked up in there for nearly a year by his reckoning.

    Then along came me. I still feel awful for what I did.

    Well, we just reached the mountains, and the sun is gone. The bird shows no sign of stopping. I wonder if it will fly all through the night.

    I guess one of us must sleep eh?

    I will bid you a good night then Mr. Bird. Don''t drop us in our sleep okay?

    Goodnight.

 A fall, a dip, a fight, and a feast

    Hello again! Today was kind of all over the place.

    First of all, despite what you might hear, none of it was my fault. Except the last part.

    Did you know nests are made mostly out of dried wood and grass? And did you know dry wood and grass is very burn-up-able?

    All I wanted was to warm up Lena and Onica. Honest! We were really, really high up in the mountains and flying at high speeds. It was cold. Lena was shivering! How is it my fault that an errant spark caught the wind, and landed directly on a patch of grass?

    *Fwoomph!*

    The whole nest was on fire in a blink. The poor bird let out a mournful hoot before dropping the nest. Can''t say I blame it. Its poor feathers were starting to burn.

    We fell a long, long, long way.

    So I had plenty of time to pull out the ole Ivers Dream and mold it into a set of makeshift wings. Inspired by our newest friend Mr. Bird. With a little boost from Fen and Julius we were aloft.

    Then we crashed into a big perfectly round lake surrounded by mountains.

    Small pines and larg rocks covered the beaches around the lake making for a beautiful but uncomfortable place to rest.

    Julius and Lena had their Tyrant and Mirage out in a flash and were scudding along the perfectly smooth lake happily before I even managed to re mold the Ivers Dream. They were happily enjoying the opportunity to play.

    Onica joined Lena aboard the Mirage and they toured the edges of the lake slowly. Enjoying the mountain views and the perfect calmness of the lake.

    Julius and Fen crashed about the water on theTyrant. Looked like Julius was showing off his awesome toy. Fen was suitably impressed.

    Pretty quick Lena was making ice obstacles and Julius was piloting his ship through them. Sometimes smashing one into smithereens with a well placed fireball when he didn''t have time to dodge it.

    Fen flitted away from the contest, and settled on a boulder on the shore.

    He, probably, was staring at the mountains around us. "I had heard tales of the majesty of mountains." He whispered in awe filled tones. "But the real things prove to be far and away all the more impressive." A subtle gust swiveled him on his boulder. "And this lake! Perfectly round, and perfectly still before we landed on it. A treasure of nature to be sure. If only I could trap this image and this moment in time and carry it with me always." He sighed at his impossible dreams.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    He seemed pretty impressed with the place, to say the least.

    I heard all this because I was seated on a nearby boulder, focusing on making goats out of theIvers Dream.

    Why?

    Why not?

    Who else will have a herd of firey red goats that follow their every command? Nobody, that''s who!

    Plus I like their little beards and the ways their horns curl. Mine are curved back and then up at the end. Making a recurved shape. I can make them toss fireballs around between them, and if I so choose the whole herd of 100 goats will lower their heads, ignite their horns, and charge.

    Which is what I had them do when the dragon came out of the lake and tried to eat theTyrant.

    It didn''t succeed of course. Tinglewood is some tough stuff. If we don''t want it to move it just doesn''t.

    I only know it is a dragon because Onica insists that any thirty foot long creature with blue scales and clawed legs that breathes fire must be a dragon. I saw a picture of one in a book once. It had wings, If this is a dragon, then where are its wings?

    Anyway, my herd swept onto the lake, steam skating and skidding along behind me as I led the charge at the suddenly toothsore beast. It cast a disparaging eye towards me and theIvers Dreamherd. Then it did something so stupid I laugh every time I remember it. It screwed its eyes tightly shut, and breathed fire over me and my herd of fireproof super goats.

    When it finally opened its eyes I got a good look at a dumbfounded dragon since I was about a foot away. Then my tinglewood shepherds crook slammed into its skull right between it eyes, and with a *Grumphughk* it dropped back under the water. Or rather it tried to. My herd of super goats managed to trample it pretty damn badly before it finally managed to slip underwater.

    Where Lena and Onica in a slither shapedMiragewere waiting for it. Blue wood and blue scales flashed wildly above the surface as the two long creatures tried to surround and constrict one another. Spikes of Ice and the occasional flash of blade punctuated the struggle as the girls tried to drown a dragon.

    Sadly it proved too slippery and it swam for the shore in full retreat. Which is where Julius rammed into it with a vengeance.

    The dragon left the water and cut a beautiful arc over the crystal clear liquid. Its mirror image perfectly tracing its rise and descent.

    Until it slammed its head into a boulder on the shore. As the groggy dragon lifted its bruised head a gentle gust of wind carried a passenger into a soft landing atop its noggin. There, Fen finished the battered beast with a barrage of golden lightning.

    So we had a feast tonight. Dragon is delicious!

    Fen can kind of sort of eat. If you put food in front of him it will get picked up by the wind and small lightning bolts flash and fry it into ash. Fen says he tastes it. I think he is just trying to make us feel better for eating without him.

    We had dragon kebab with a glowfruit sauce. Dragon steak wrapped in Wave Waker strips. Dragon roast cut into a thin roll and then rolled up with firemoss and golden cheese inside. And some wines and juices we got from Tara. So good!

    Now we are sitting around the skeletized remains of the dragon with overstuffed tummys and I feel a food coma coming on. So I wrote todays journal entry before it hit and now I must bid you.

    Goodnight.

 Way down we go

    Hello again. It was Lena that started it.

    This morning, as the sun was cresting the mountains and turning the lake into a mirror. We were sitting around a fire, munching on leftovers from the dragon feast last night. Lena was dangling her feet into the water, Kicking it about and making icy fairies fight to the death over a drifting leaf she had placed a pearl on.

    As the tiny terrors tore each other apart Lena was gazing at the mountains reflected on the still waters and asked a question that started an adventure. "Where did the dragon come from anyway?"

    Where did the dragon come from we wondered. This lake was not particularily deep, and the water was exceptionally clear. So how did a flashy blue dragon sneak up on us? Surely we would have seen it coming?

    So it was decided to explore the bottom of the lake. We all piled into theMirage since Lena is the only one who can really manuever underwater. She formed it into a bubble. Somehow even making the sides transparent.

    I wonder if I can do that?

    She carried us down to the bottom of the lake. Curious fish darted in and out of long weeds around us as we drifted about the sandy lake bed. Interesting rock formations rose from the depths and beautiful flowers bloomed and drifted along the currents. It is a whole other world underwater. One I have never really seen.

    Playful pixies of ice danced around the bubble. I think they were Lenas. Not sure though, she seemed just as entranced by their ethereal beauty as the rest of us were. Fen kept up a running commentary the whole time. "Oh, we are going underwater now? Goodness, I hope this construct holds. It takes forever to dry my fabric. Oh, looklooklook! A fishy! Did you seen the fishy!" He pressed himself to the side of the bubble. His brim bending backwards as he tried to be as close as possible to the wonders outside.

    "Ah, did you seethat fishy! It has little purple dots and a silver tummy! Oh, oh, oh, look at the flowers! I didn''t even know there were fowers underwater! I wonder how they pollinate without insects or wind? This is all just simply fascinating!" He seemed to be working up to a crescendo of excitement. I don''t know if he ever peaked though. "Look at the size of that boulder! I wonder if it rolled all the way here from the peak of a nearby mountain. Imagine, sitting on a mountaintop for untold eons only to fall into a lake and just sit here unseen for who knows how long. Nobody has seen this boulder possibly ever, and now we are the first! Can we keep it? It seems like a very nice boulder!"

    He wanted to keep every single interesting fish, plant, boulder, and even patch of sand. I managed to talk him down into just taking a perfectly round and smooth stone the size of my head. It is icy blue and translucent. Almost appearing to be a perfect orb of ice until you touch it. I has a surprising warmth for something that has sat at the bottom of a lake for who knows how long. Fen likes to rest on it. I guess even hats need a bed.

    Onica was taking the journey down to the depths seemingly in stride, but judging from her lashing tail, dilated pupils, and twitching ears she was uneasy about being surrounded by water. She seemed fine when she was fighting a dragon underwater yesterday though. I asked her if she was ok.

    She laughed oddly with a twitching eye. "Ahah-ahahah! Yes! Why wouldn''t I be ok! I am just surrounded by thousands of pounds of water, and people who keep having unbelievable things happen to them! That''s no reason to panic! It''s not like a random dragon just popped out of this lake last night! There is no way there will be horrifying monsters waiting for us down here! Or cursed treasure or something! I don''t know, I am still new here! Stop looking at me like that! I am not panicking!" By the end there she was whisper-shouting and spitting into my ear. Onica is weird. She says one thing, then does another. Just say as you do and do as you say, please. Because you are confusing me.

    Lena and Julius were thankfully quiet. Lena was gazing out the bubbles sides and guiding us about the lake. Sitting on a little blue bench and kicking her heels happily as she hummed a little bit of nonsense tune to herself. Julius was settled happily on her lap nibbling on an orange root and getting petted.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    When the pixies showed up Lena focused on them more and the bubble drifted along their wake. Seriously though. I thought they were creations of Lenas but looking back that seems more suspect. Because they led us through a swathe of obscuring green plants we would have passed by, and to our destination. A hole.

    A black space cut into the rock at the very bottom of the lake. A yawning abyss of lurking shadows and luring whispers.

    Of course we went inside. I thought I heard Onica whimper, but that may have been my imagination.

    We drifted through blackness for what felt like forever. In the dark, time and space became distant and foreign concepts of another world. Unwelcome in these lands. We unconciously huddled together. Seeking warmth and companionship against the cold and unyielding dark. The occasional bump and thump were the only sign we were still moving. Either me or Julius or even Fen with his lightning could have lifted this heavy gloom. But the depths felt more sacred and overwhelming than malevolent and terrifying.

    At least they did to me. Regardless, no one disturbed the perfect darkness, and no one said a word. Silence was our newest companion, and an unfamiliar one it proved to be.

    Finally, glimmers of light pierced the veil of shadows. We slowly emerged from darkness into a shadowed cavern. We drifted to a slim sandy beach and theMirage dissolved, we filed onto the sand. As far as we knew this might as well be a whole new world.

    A small plop of water on water broke the silence, and suddenly I could breathe again.

    Stifled laughter, shy smiles, and awkward laughter spread hrough our party as we all sighed in unison. Seems the trip had been profound and exhausting for all of us.

    We spent a moment just breathing before we headed down one of the sand bottomed tunnels.

    This brings me back. So long ago, when I first woke up. Tunnels similar to these were all I knew of the world. How much wider has it become! How much richer, and more vibrant! I may not have been around for very long. But the world has grown so very much, and so too have I. No longer alone. No longer naked or cold or filthy. Well, maybe a little filthy. Much better though.

    I have come so far!

    We walked those tunnels for what could have been hours. Small luminecent plants and algaes providing just enough light to really make the shadows menacing. And well they should be, for monsters lurked within them. Lizards and small dragons mostly. Nothing on the scale of the one we ate for dinner. We make short work of them. Mostly Onica and Fen though. They always react the fastest and with the most violence.

    Razor sharp blades ripped apart our would be predator as Onica worked out her anxieties on them. Flashes and booms announced Fens contributions to the carnage as the poor critters were sent spasming and crispy into the afterlife. The rest of us managed to get a few as well. I for one was willing to let Onica and Fen work through their emotions with some good cathartic violence. Lena and Julius seemed to agree and so we hung back for the most part.

    Slowly the rough sided and round tunnels changed. Becoming more square and finished. Looking like worked stone. Not polished but definitely cut by something. The lizards stop showing up about the same time the floors and walls become carved with symbols. Pipes of a goldish sheened material run in and out of the walls. Carrying unknown fluid unknown places. Small round men made of the same metal as the pipes show up. They attack us and get turned into scrap.

    Onica asked for a staff since her blades would just chip and break on our metallic aggressors. So I gave her a staff as tall as she was. Blurring red wood sent the poor little enemies crashing into the walls and smashed them into pieces. Fen hung back now too. Seems like Onica had been more pent up than I had thought. She should really let it out more.

    As we go deeper into the worked tunnels they become wider. The pipes thicker and more numerous, and the metal men larger and possibly more dangerous. I don''t know. We reduce them to scrap and slag before they get the chance to try anything funny or dangerous. Onica was smiling now. A brutal grimace contorting her face as she smashed in the heads of the metal men as if they had a personal grudge between with her. She would occasionally glance at me before shaking herhead and continuing to smash away with a small shake of her head and a mutter.

    Finally, footsore and weary, we reach a square hall with three doors leading away from the hallway we entered from. Nobody has really been talkative since we got here. We ate more dragon leftovers. I made a lot of food from it.

    Now we are settling in for the night in a corner between doors. Onica has decided we need to set a watch for enemies over the night. I am taking first watch, and am to wake Onica in four hours.

    How will I know when four hours is?

    I will just stay up until the others wake up. If anything attacks I will destroy it as quietly as possible.

    Now I must get to watching. These halls won''t watch themselves.

    I sure hope they won''t at least. Considering how freaky this place feels I will not exclude it from the realm of the possible though.

    Goodnight.

 Shenanigans

    Hello again. Today has been very fun!

    I stood watch for a while, but after what seemed like an eternity of boring nothing doing I decided to just block the way with tinglewood and get some shut eye.

    Since I was the last one asleep I was also the last one awake. I thought Onica would be upset with me for shirking my watch duties, but she seems surprisingly chipper and cheery today.

    Lena, Julius, and Fen are all much more cheerful today than they were yesterday. They can''t seem to stop giggling. Well good! A morose atmosphere doesn''t fit our style anyway!

    After a quick bite to eat I cleared the barricades and we went marching happily down the tunnel to the left of where we came in from. At the end of this tunnel was a massive cave with soaring waterfalls gracefully falling into massive pools and feeding small rivers and lakes throughout the immense space. Light filtered in alongside the water falls, and the combination of light and water vapor created a beau-

    *****

    Hiya Book! Lena here!

    I asked Julus to crank up the fire and burn the food big bro was making. While he is distracted with saving dinner Lena will be making her entry today! We found a big cave, a big bug, and a big bush.

    The big cave was pretty, and the water there was delicious and full of cool slimy critters! Big sis Onica showed me this one slimy fish that if you squeeze it then if leaks this milk looking stuff. If you mix that with some water it turns into a lot of super sticky glue! I stored a big bottle of it for fun later.

    Oh! Speaking of fun! When we woke up this morning big bro was sleeping when he should have been protecting us. Onica wanted to beat him up, but I had a better idea! I snuck out his magic pen from his magic bag. So much stuff in there! Then I drew a huge twirly ended mustache on his face. When that didn''t wake him up I drew eyes on his eyelids and a flower on his chin. They are all in a glowing blue, and he looks ridiculous! Somehow, he still hasn''t noticed them.

    We all couldn''t help but laugh every time we looked at him. Onica seemed more than happy with this punishment.

    The big bug was big. It looked like a normal beetle, only huge! It had a thick blue shell that looked super shiny but was really hard! Fen flipped it with a gust of wnd and we left it alone and wiggling its little legs in the air. There was a box in the room with the big beetle, and inside was a pure white flute decorated with swirls and blue painted flowers.

    I called dibs so now the pretty flute is mine.I practiced playing it and it is really hard, but if I really focus when I am trying to play it then mist comes out of the end of it. I wonder why it does that? It looks hollow when you look inside it so where does the mist come from? I wonder if it will make more if I run my ripples through it while playing. I will have to try later.

    For now I need to write fast before big bro comes back. He is super protective of Mr. Book. The only reason I got to write in it before was because he literally couldn''t, and also because I used the super duper sad eyes on him. I need to ration out the super duper sad eyes though. If I use it to much people get used to it.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    Ah, he just finished fixing dinner, now its time for phase two! Big sis challenged big bro to a knife throwing contest. He is way too competitive for his own good. We all agreed to take turns writing in Mr. Book and distracting big bro. I won the first turn. Fen needs someone to write for him and Julius can make hands out of fire.

    I wonder when he learned to write?

    So after we found the flute and explored the big cave we went down the other tunnel and there we found-

    *****

    Little minx!

    *Sigh* I suppose I shouldn''t be surprised. Lena has been eyeing the Journalfor a while now. I just can''t believe the others are in on it. I shall fight them off as best I can! If they want to write inmy Journal then they will have to earn that right!

    The right to write. Punny. Must try on Onica.

    Now then, where were we?

    Big cave, yada yada ya, beetle, blah blah blah, conspiracy against me. Right, thebig bush as Lena called it. As we headed down the last hallway, with Lena tooting and squeaking on her new toy, it started to get colder. The further we went the colder it got. First our breathe became visible, then our hands, feet, and ears turned red. Well, except for Fen of course. He doesnt breathe, nor does he have ears.

    The cold air sapped our body heat, and Julius and I had to make a big fire to keep us moving. Onica hates the cold. She came from a place where it is warm in the winter and hot in the summer. No idea what a winter or a summer are, but Lena seemed to know so I just nodded understandingly and tured up the heat. The cold cut at us like invisible knives in the hands of sadistic ghosts. Even with the fire any exposed skin became red and numb. Breathing became painful, and our muscles stiffened. We walked in wooden shambling lockstep. Sticking close to each other for warmth.

    Finally we reached the end. A frost encrusted door. I was about to smash the door down with a kickass flying fire kick when Lena simply moved the ice out of the way. Super disappointing. Inside was a weirdly familiar room. Murals decorated the walls. Showing battles and celestial beings. In the middle of the room, under a beam of light from a hole in the high ceiling sat a frosty bush. Hundreds of ripe purplish blue berries festooned its bowing brambly branches. Behind it sat a stone tomb with a statue lying down on top of it.

    Yes, this was similar indeed to the wing tomb for the fallen lands! There were only a few key differences.

    The tomb was made of metal, not stone. Images of hammers and mountains covered its sides and the short but broad statue atop it showed a scarred and burly warrior. With a hearty smile carved on his bearded face and a mug of frothy wonder in his hand. At the base of the metal tomb sat a simple scarred hammer and anvil. Rusted and pitted with aged, these tools seemed to echo still with the sound of industry from a time long past.

    The murals too had a single small change. The beings above it all. They were not the golden horned horse, and the eight-legged cat with a ravens head and wings. They were a golden mountain, surrounded by dancing swords that were never in the same position in the different murals, and a black hammer, crude and rough looking but with an unparalled aura of devastation and might about it. Seeming to be about to sunder the world itself. Even just as a picture on a mural. The mountain on the other hand gave off a sense of gravity, and even the small picture of it made me feel tiny and insignificant.

    I wonder why they changed when every other detail stayed the same?

    I suppose we will never know.

    The berries from the bush are unpalatable to all of us but Lena. She danced between the cruel thorns and brambles on its limbs, and gobbled them down messily until she was more blue juice than girl. The juice seems to be slowly seeping into her. Like rainwater into the earth after a storm.

    To me the berries taste like raw fish coated in ash and dumped into the garbage for a week. Seeing her gobble them with such delight nearly made me vomit.

    Now we are camped at the shores of one of the lakes in thebig cave and eating some slightly burnt fish. Seriously. Why did they have to target dinner?!

    I will turtle up in some tinglewood tonight, and try to get this blasted glowing stuff off of my face.

    I look ridiculous!

    Goodnight.

 The profit prophet

    Hello again. Today was surprisingly pleasant.

    I still haven''t managed to get the blue glowing magic ink off of my face. It doesn''t really bother me anymore anyway. I found out how to use it to my advantage. At one point when we were climbing up a sheer rough cliff over one of the lakes in the big cave I shut my eyes and made a funny face at Lena. She laughed so hard she fell off the cliff. She was fine.

    After Onica got tired of hitting me we decided to revisit out methods of transportation. By which I mean Onica asked why we were walking everywhere when he had access to something as awesome as tinglewood. Those were not her exact words. When I said it was because I like walking she let out a spine-tingling growl.

    I like Onica, She is fun to mess with! ...I hope she doesn''t read this.

    So that is how we ended up riding a wriggling mass of hooks and claws up the cliffs to the gaps in the roof of the great cavern where the waterfalls entered. Once we emerged from the underground in a steaming burst of flailing hooks and fire we took a moment to appreciate the sunshine and open sky above us.

    You don''t miss the freedom of having sky overhead until it is gone. When we were underground I almost always had my head ducked and shoulders hunched. I knew I had more then enough room to stand tall, but the thought of the tons of rock over my head was a constant weight on my mind. One that manifested itself on my body with a shrunken stance.

    Now that I am back under the cheery blue of the firmament I can breathe easier and stretch out my sore back.

    A short dwarf, short even for a dwarf, in a patched cloak and worn boots with shiny brass buckles had been fishing just upstream from where we emerged. When I maneuvered the hooked and barbed mass of tendrils and fire that was the latest iteration of theIvers Dream towards him to ask for some directions or just to say hello, I hadn''t decided, he dropped his fishing pole, left his tackle box, and ran away. Fast little fellow.

    So we snatched up his gear, and horror crawled our way over a small mountain to find a different stream to fish in.

    A few hours passed as we just relaxed. It was a beautiful day out today. Birds were chirping, cool mountain breezes cut the bright heat of the sun down to comfortable levels, the fish were biting, and the kids were playing.

    Lena and Fen worked together making massive bubbles float and drift about the place, and then they and Julius would take turns trying to cross the river by hopping from bubble to bubble before they burst. Lena was the best at it, I think she was cheating though, followed by Fen and Julius in far last.

    He would just pounce on the bubbles as hard as he could. He never made it past the first bubble. In a hour he was fuming mad and melting rocks while sulking. So cute!

    Onica was watching the place we emerged from. She said she wanted to see what the locals response times were. When five grumpy dwarves in heavy plate armor stumbled and grumbled their way to the river side three hour after we came out of it she seemed almost disappointed.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    They were escorting a sixth dwarf with a great luxurious beard that looked like gold. He had a shiny white staff studded with rubies and sapphires and emeralds. None smaller than a chicken egg. Soft white silky looking robes swathed him from head to toe, and a belt of woven gold wrapped around his waist. All the finery was rather dimished by all the dirt and sweat. He was filthy and dripping. His face was red and curse words that should have blistered his tongue filled the air around him.

    They did not seem like much of a threat.

    The largest guard with the longest beard turned to the shiny dwarf and spoke. "Your holiness, this is where the demon was sighted. Please, find and destroy the beast so we can all get back to comfort and civilization." He seemed to have an almost mocking lilt to his voice when he called the shiny dwarf holiness. Which didn''t seem to escape the shiny dwarfs ears.

    He glared balefully and ineffectually at the much larger dwarf before he puffed himself up and gestured grandly at the river. "Demon!" He bellowed"Come forth and be destroyed by me,Bob Flintspine! Prophet of the great god Goldoi. Head of his church, and guardian of his followers!" He finished with a flourish and gazed expectantly at the river. By this time we were all crouched on top of the mountain looking down at them, and I had a funny idea.

    After a minute of nothing happening Bob turned back to his companions. "Seems like I scared it off. Probably just a river ooze demon. The fool fisherman must have been doing more drinking than fishing." He shrugged, in the process causing a wave to flow through his shiny beard. "Now lets get back to-

    Which is when the demonic half goat half octopus with crab pincers came over the mountain. It was theIvers Dream of course. I had molded a hollow tube from where we were hidden to its mouth. On my cue Onica let out the loudest roar she could into the tube. It bounced and reverbrated and grew larger and distorted before exploding out of the horrifying amalgam of creature in a warbling shifting yowl that could, and did, split stones.

    YEEAOrioarOOOW!!!

    A small rockslide was sent crashing towards the river and the dwarves on the opposite bank just about flew away as they fled back where they had come from. All except for the shiny one, Bob. He tripped and cracked his head on a stone before falling into the river. Lena fished him out. Then Julius made some hands of fire, neat trick that, before he plucked a knife from Onicas armory and divested the poor, now poorer, dwarf of his robes, staff, belt, and beard.

    We left Bob there, mostly naked and entirely shaven as we headed back to our campsite and ate some fish we had spitted over a fire. Then we hopped aboard theIvers Dreamshaped like a rock lizard Lena showed me earlier and scuttled away.

    I am sure Bob will be fine. He is a prophet you know. Those don''t just grow on trees. I am sure he has many followers who will come to save him shortly. We scuttled off to avoid any confrontation with them. Julius seems happier now that he has a new addition to his loot cache. No harm done.

    Now we are settling in for the night inside a small castle made of warm red wood. Onica is right, this is much nicer. But don''t tell her I told you that.

    I wonder what shapes I will make, and what sights I will see tomorrow. Julius has made a little nest of his plunder for his bed. Bobs golden beard was woven into a braid by Lena and now has pride of place in his hoard. It really is a wonderfully shiny beard.

    Goodnight.

    Greetings, holder of words. The fool thinks he has protected his treasure today. When he wakes may this teach him a lesson.

    Nothing is safe when you sleep. Which is why we takes turns watching as others sleep.

    Learn it well, fool.

 Perspective

    Greetings, thing that is not food.

    The Food-giver and Firemaker is unable to scribble its words into you today. A rock has fallen on its head.

    Rejoice. For I, Julius, will now grace you with my words and presence.

    Long have I walked this land. Never before have I met such a being as the Food-giver. It is a great warrior, worthy of pillaging beside me, and yet it seems to find no pleasure in the spoils. It throws itself into battles almost without provocation. An odd quality in its kind. Most shy from violence and danger like shade from the sun. The Firemaker embraces and enhances any danger it finds. This is foolish, but not as foolish as blind fear.

    I sometimes wonder if the Food-giver desires the End, and simply seeks a worthy place and foe to grant it. For we seem to traipse idly from one danger zone or battlefield to another. Today we found a desolate and rotted land. It clearly held no food or shining treasure. Yet the Firemaker entered it. The black lands split and rotted beings crept and crawled out of the shattered tortured earth. We met them with fire and fury.

    Endless legions met endless fire. They tired before we did.

    All that remains there now is a scorched and pitted wasteland. The Small One Who Pets did not seem to enjoy the fervor of battle. Or perhaps it was just the smell of burning rot it took offense to. Regardless, it and the Wise One stayed back and mopped up the stragglers.

    The Food-giver stood in the battlefield. Eyes open but unseeing. Tortured was its visage as it gazed into the war within itself.

    I do not wish to know what it saw there. In its heart.

    We had not hardly left the battlefield when The Firemaker tried to scale a easily avoided cliff. A foul wind blew a rock from its summit and so The Food-giver was struck down. It lies now in the safety of my vessel. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    The Tyrant is a fine gift. One I have never seen the likes of before. The Firemaker twitches and mumbles as it rests. Seeming to argue with something.

    The green around the cliff was good. Sweet and dry, as it should be. A foolish Long Antlered One sought to claim my green. The Sister Who Walks On Two Legs and The Braider Of Treasure feasted upon its scorched remains.

    Such is the fate of all those who would dare to cross me!

    May the smoke of its demise spread far, and warn the foolish not to test my mercy.

    For I have none.

    *****

    Hiya Mr. Book! So Julius is kinda intense huh?

    I like how he gives us all these odd little titles instead of names. I am pretty sure I''m the Wise One, because duh.

    Like Julius said though we found a black gross pit of yuck and dead things came crawling out of it. Nope, not dealing with that so I just sat back and smacked anything that got too close. Big sis Onica watched my back so I was 100% safe!

    Then big bro started acting all weird. Weirder than usual even!

    He just kept walking in a straight line until he hit a steep but small cliff. We tried to get him to go the ten feet to the left that would have let us just avoid an annoying climb, but nope! He just wouldn''t listen! Now he has a huge lump on his head and Julius had to cook dinner. Burnt elk isn''t all that tasty. So I snagged a couple of frostberries for dessert.

    Big sis said she would take first watch so I am going to bed.

    Bye-bye Mr. Book

    *****

    Greetings holder of words. Today the Fool was even more foolish than normal. Lena and Julius have regaled you with tales of his idiotic exploits already. So I will not continue to blow wind in your ear.

    What they did not tell you is how the Fool led us to the dead battlefield. We were on a course that would have missed it entirely when he simply froze for a second and bolted off in a completely different direction.

    It was all we could do to follow him. He can move very swiftly when he wants to. Luckily he leaves a trail a blind Rheznor could follow. Literal foot and handprints of fire. Digging into solid stone and smouldering trees.

    We arrived to find him already engaging the undead. Julius charged forth to join in the slaughter, and Lena hung back in the splash free zone. I like my fur and flesh unsinged, so I stayed with her.

    The Fool was like a man possessed today. If he does not snap out of it by dawn I will try Baba Tigras remedy for the cursed. A swift blow to the back of the head with a hard stick.

    I have never seen a possessed being rise again after one of those. Baba Tigris has arms like tree trunks.

 Knock off

    Hey. Today was bad.

    I woke up and all I knew was pain. I had barely managed to gurgle a strained groan of utmost suffering before my pain addled mindscape was shattered by yet more pain. Someone, Onica, had belted me over the head with a freaking tree!

    So that was how the day started.

    It didn''t get any better.

    I remembered something. Faces and names rushed my poor mind like starving orphans a free buffet. I was just walking along, minding my own business, when I heard someone calling my name.

    Yeah, my name. I still don''t know what it is though. Just that I was being called. The voice was tired, frantic, panicked.

    I ran. Pelting over rocks and through trees to answer the call. As I neared more voices rose. Calling my name. Some in anger, some in pain, all in fear. Finally I reached them.

    Men and women I recognized. My men and women. My soldiers. One caught my eye. A simple soldier, dull brown hair that kept falling into his warm amber eyes as he shyly ducked his head. As I approached him in a daze his shy smile cracked and splintered. His flesh dulled and greyed before his face fell off in a slick of dead flesh and oozing pus.

    I looked away, there was a cook, her green eyes sparkling happily even as she served unruly soldiers well into her gray years. She rotted away before my gaze. Her eyes dull and staring.

    Here a foulmouthed sergeant, her curses hiding the trust and faith she has in her troops.

    There a dodgy quartermaster, always making sure we got the very best of the rations and supplies we needed.

    Over yonder stood my stoic second in command. Always watching my back. Always pulling my ass out of the fire. A good friend, and a good little brother.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    All rotted, all dead, all staring at me.

    I don''t know what happened after that. I am told I burned them. I hope their ashes find their way Home.

    The others want answers. I know they do. I don''t know what to tell them. That those revenants were my old friends? Is that really something I can tell my current ones? Who knows, maybe I am the one who caused their undeath. Maybe I am cursed.

    No.

    I am lost in my own mind today. My thoughts are hot knives against my soul. There is no haven from myself. Not today. I can only hope that this day ends quickly, and that the next is not haunted by myself.

    I will come back to these thought on a different day. When the new memories and sense of utter loss are less crippling and blinding. I just found, then immediately lost, almost all my friends in the world. I saw my little brother, whose name I cannot even remember, rot into an undead before my eyes.

    I am not ready. Not for that.

    Goodnight.

    *****

    Hiya Mr. Book! Tell big bro to get well soon!

    We all miss him. Things just aren''t as fun without him here.

    *****

    The Food-giver has been struck down by both sticks and stones, but it is the wounds inside it that threaten to destroy it. Stay strong Firemaker. You are too good a cook to be lost here.

    *****

    The Fool is indeed foolish. Where is the proof he knew these undead? That they were his friends and colleagues? They bear no markings, and carry no standard. They were just long dead fools.

    Beware you do not allow your despair to blind you. Lest you join their ranks.

    *****

    Salutations! Fen Worthy here!

    I was most surprised when I woke from my nap upon the Wearers head to find myself stuck between two branches.

    Luckily I managed to track down the others since they left quite a trail and hadn''t gone far.

    I am most concerned about my Wearer. His head has become rather misshapen from all the trauma it has taken. I hope it is still as comfortable as I remember.

    Today I catalogued 327 new varietys of rock and 1,589 new insects! I am blah, blah, blah, blabitty, blabit, bla, blibbity. He just keeps talking about different colored rocks and bugs.

    Now he is talking about grass. Ugh, why is a talking lightning spitting hat sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BORING!

    I hope big bro perks up soon. Then Fen can talk to him about all this boring stuff instead of me.

    Oh, he''s wrapping it up.

    -and so I think today has been most thrilling! Thank you for writing this for me Lena. Would you mind reading it back to me? I worry I forgot to mention the mushrooms.

    Lena, OUT!

 Kill it with fire

    Hello again! I am feeling much better today.

    Nothing really snaps you out of an funk like violence. It burns away all the fears, regrets, and doubts in a bright blaze of awesome carnage. Temporarily that is. I do not recommend beating up your friends and loved ones when you get frustrated, but when you have reached the end of your rope. When all you can think of is self doubt, fear of the future, and regret about the past. Then maybe go punch or kick a sturdy and inanimate object.

    Or assault a legion of the damned.

    Thats what I did today. Seems like the patch of blighted land we had fought on two days ago was just the edge of a massive bubble of blighted fun. Inside lurked horrifying monstrosities of twisted flesh. Dead and rotted amalgams of animals and people. Twisted chimeras that leak pus and spit flies.

    Seriously gross things. They look much better as ash, and they showed up just in time to draw me from a spiny shell of depressing and demoralizing thoughts.

    Onica was right. There is no reason that those things we destroyed must be my lost troops. I was seriously out of it a whle before I even saw them. As for what called me there, I haven''t a clue. I do know my troops are dead and gone though. Somewhere, maybe not here, they fell. I will find out. I will avenge their deaths if they have not already been avenged, and I will lay their bodies to rest if they have not already gone Home.

    I have a purpose now. A solid and concrete goal.

    Still have absolutely no idea how I will go about reaching my goal, but that''s a problem for future me!

    Anyway, where was I? Twisted chimeras, right.

    We were greeted this morning not only by the beautiful sunrise, but also a twisted wreck of rotted muscle holding together a tortured construct on innumerable bones.

    I lurched over a hill, toppled clumsily down the short rise, and fell directly into our campfire. I should mention that Julius and I compete to see who can make the bigger campfire. So thats why it fell into a towering inferno that reach roughly ten feet into the air, and had long since reduced the poor soil under it to glass. Lena, Onica, and Fen couldn''t stand closer than twenty feet from its edge.

    So when this thing fell directly into the middle of that fire its already shaky grasp on life was, ironically, extinguished. A Short gout of black smoke and some cracked bones and teeth were all that remained.

    Then a hundred more similar but terribly different beasties came shambling over the hill. Fen fired first. A blinding flash of lightning leapt into their ranks. Skittering from one rotted mobile carcass to another. They exploded. Lena joined in by sweeping a nearby river over the left flank of the oncoming Rotlings, just named them, and froze it into a macrabe display of twisted flesh and bone. I actually don''t know if that killed them or not. It certainly killed them when Onica smashed the ice, and its frosted friends, into finger sized chunks. Lena scooped up this glittery shrapnel and tore into the remnants. Onica entered the ice storm and dance within it. Smashing and slicing any Rotling she could get her hands and weapons on.

    Julius and I entered the fun and games with twin blasts of fire. Mine swept side to side, aiming to consume as many of the front ranks as possible. Julius'' punched through the first rank, and then kept going. He drilled a ashen path directly into the heart of the oncoming Rotling host.

    Then we broke out the tinglewood, and the fun really began. Over the small hill was a massive army of Rotlings. Far as the eye could see they claimed the horizon. A blue snake, a black-red golden crowned rabbit, and a firey red goat smashed deep into their ranks. Once I reached what I assumed was roughly the middle of the army I dissolved theIvers Dream from one goat into a rampaging herd of them. Fire, hoof, and horn smashed and burned away all the Rotlings around me.

    Fen and Onica dashed about them. Flashing lightning and blades ripped the enemy around them into shreds. A blue mist drifted into being along with a possibly haunting, but definitely squeaky melody. Lena was trying out her flute I suppose. Inside the oddly blue mist there was silence besides the music(?). As it drifted past its receding edge showed the ground coated in ice, with mounds of shattered Rotlings atop it. A combo sound and ice attack maybe?This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

    Julius charged around wildly. Razing the enemy with sweeps of hisTyrants feet and flame. Occasionally he would rocket skyward, and crash into a mass of them with awesome explosions of heat and fire. Craters and ditches followed in his wake.

    In a fit of inspiration I recalled my goats, turned them into small swordsmen with firey red swords, and led them in a brutal and controlled march into the guts of the enemy. We swept, slashed, and stabbed our way through any resistance.

    The Rotlings never stood a chance.

    Which is probably why their ugly big brothers decided to show up. Where the Rotlings were primarily bones held together by rotted muscle. These nauseating nuisances were twitchy lumps of slightly less rotted muscle. They moved faster and hit harder than the Rotlings, and they seemed to have been designed to have as many jaws, claws, and fangs as physically possible. They clawed, bit and roared at us.

    We destroyed them. I still haven''t decided on a name for them yet. They were truly fierce, but they couldn''t get through our tinglewood shells and swords. Onica proved to be too fast for them. Dodging and dicing them as Fen assisted her with timely gusts of wind to carry her out of danger or blasts of lightning to protect her back. They make a very nice duo.

    After those came these bloated sacks of organs that spewed various noxious fluids at us. They didn''t make much of an impact. Except when we figured out that if you hit them in their main sack with a fireball or lightning bolt while it was engorged to its maximum size it would trigger a meaty explosion. Those explosions coated their unfortunate allies in the sizzling juices they spit, and reduced them to bubbling pubbles of stinky scum.

    Then came the Drymen. Stick thin and very flammable. The Drymen looked like dessicated husks of people with black brandings of crooked and sharp runes scarring their otherwise dull brown wrinkly skin. They would wave their arms about and howl tonelessly. As they did so ice spears, fireballs, rock bullets, or wind blades would spring into being around them and then get launched at us.

    We responded appropriately. With excessive force and possibly gleeful salvos of our respective arsenals. They crumbled into dust under our figurative and literal heels.

    Finally was the Super Dryman. Towering at eleven feet or so tall. This Dryman looked roughly similar to the others. Only taller, and its black marks leaked a sickly purple light as they shifted in esoteric patterns over its body. It cackled a shrill and dusty laughter and with a wave of its hands the world shifted. The earth shattered and the skys dropped. Clouds clinging close to the ground and lighning running through them in threatening webs of violent light. Sharp odd angles of stone reache into the clouds and lightning crept onto the land and closer to us. Fire surrounded us in curtains of twitching purple that licked at our minds before our bodies. Black frost started to cover the cracked earth entombing the deceased and promising the same to us.

    As I was struggling to regain some footing and continuing my slaughter of the enemies around me I felt its disgusting dead eyes run over me. A shudder ran down my spine as its mouth creaked open again in a sneer. A dry breath of air crept over its dusty teeth.

    Then Onica ripped its head off after Fen stunned it with a lightning bolt before it could begin its monologue.

    I guess I was overreacting to its theatrics. Nothing much to it despite the cool intro.

    Shortly after that all the undead things redeadified. Then the sun set. We had been fighting all day.

    Super relaxing day!

    We ate the last of the dragon for supper and then turned in.

    Tonight I will sleep on top of my satchel. Preventing any would be journalers from writing in you.

    Goodnight!

    *****

    Hardly a challenge. The Food-giver rolled off of its hoarding sack after snoring for a minute.

    Try harder next time.

    Glorious battle was had today.

    I was victorious. As I always am.

    *****

    Hiya Mr. Book!

    Big bro is back to being his silly self.

    As if sleeping on top of his purse would stop any of us!

    Today was lots of fun!

    I got to practice my flute and I danced a lot!

    And dinner was delish, finally!

    Bye-bye Mr. Book!

    *****

    The Fool is a great warrior and cook, but a terrible sneak.

    This is good. A man without weaknesses will be envied and destroyed in time.

    I have seen it happen to the best of Chiefs. They can face armies, famines, plagues, and the plotting of their enemies. But they cannot defeat the knives hidden in the hand of ''friends'' that are wielded with smiles.

    Envy and pride kill Kings. It is just a matter of which comes first that is up for debate.

    *****

    The hat is talking.

    The hat is still talking.

    Still talking

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Still talking.

    I am walking away now. I doubt it will notice.

    The hat makes a wonderful partner in the Dance. It is vicious, brutal, and efficient. Why it behaves so differently outside of the Dance is beyond me.

    Farewall, Fen. I hope you learn to write soon.

 Planning is hard

    Hello again. Today happened.

    Now that I have shaken off the funk I was in and prepared myself a long term goal I had thought I could just have a day to relax.

    Nope.

    For some reason the others don''t seem to think my plan of wandering aimlessly is a good one. I say that eventually I will naturally find a place where people recognize me. From there it will be a simple mater to find out who I was, where I was from, and what happened to my men. Then I will find whoever was responsible and melt their face off. Simple, easy, and effective I thought.

    The others disagree. So that is how we found ourselves in the nearest town. A collection of blocky squat stone buildings hunched in the shadow of a mountain and surrounded on all sides either by cliffs or a curving river. The locals are mostly dwarves and they make their living mining the gold from the cliffs.

    There was a impressive pyramid in the middle of the city. It was surrounded by tall obelisks with intricate runes cut into them. Both the pyramid and obelisks looked to be made of gold. A friendly local told us that it was the local shrine of Goldoi. A dwarven god of wealth and mining.

    The name seemed familiar.

    The place towered over everthing in the town, casting a pall over everything around it.

    We barely managed to stop Julius from attacking the place and claiming it for his own. I had a feeling that would make getting info from the locals much harder than it already was. That one friendly local clammed up when we asked for maps or info on the local geography. Two hours of being looked at suspiciously and having door slammed in our face and even Lena and Fen were starting to get grumpy.

    So when the local guard surrounded us in an alley we were happy for a chance to work out some frustrations.

    We had been surrrounded in a simple square plaza. Four roads led into it and it was surrounded on all sides by tall buildings. Thinking back, that was a really convenient construction for ambushes, and we had walked through three or four of them before this one. That whole city had been designed defensively hadn''t it?

    The four roads were blocked by dense pike phalanxes. The 15 foot long spears were almost comically taller than the stout dwarves who held them. Any amusement we might had felt was squashed by the stern brows and steely eyes of their bearers. This was further reinforced when they lowered their pikes into a bristling forest of sharpened steel. The whole pike was made of steel. The sheer weight and strength needed to level them so steadily was a sobering notion. I doubt I could have held one straight and steady for more than a brief instant. The dwarves themselves were heavily armored. Shining plate under tabards showing a golden scale on a mine cart. Thick shields lay across thier broad backs and shortswords, maces, and hammers hung from their belts.

    All in all, the formation was truly intimidating.

    Then dozens of stout figures in glimmering chainmail appeared on the roofs around us. They cradled steel armed crossbows in their arms, and had pairs of quivers slung across their hips. A few had sticks with leather cups at the top of them and sacks of small round pellets. These dwarves were awarded respectful distance from the others.

    As the odds continued to stack against us the desire for a fight started to dwindle. It was shortly after I started wondering if I could form a tinglewood wall before we became pincushions that he arrived.

    "You spies have two choices!" He bellowed from a shining chariot behind the pike-dwarves. "Surrender and be imprisoned and interrogated, or resist and die!" He was clad in gleaming golden plate armour. With a ruby studded mace in one hand and an intricately runed golden shield in the other. His helmet hid his face behind a plate of golden metal designed to look like a dragons roaring visage.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    But his voice gave him away. It was that pompous dwarf Julius had shaved a few days ago!

    Immediately after realizing that the leader of these fearsome warriors was the idiot prophet Bob all the tension leaked out of the standoff. Lena and Onica started laughing and I joined them shortly after.

    Poor Bob didn''t seem to appreciate that. Before he could order his unfortunate subordinates to do anything two things happened. First, a wall of ice blocked the crossbow-dwarves line of fire. Second, a lightning bolt hit the phalanx between us and Bob. The clash of steel on ice rang out over head alongside some muffled booms and cracks from the ball-throwers. These were accompanied by the clatter and crash of a full hundred heavily armoured dwarves dropping to the floor in a twitching pile of steel and electricity.

    Julius knocked Bob off his chariot as we ran past and had him stripped and his fancy armor in my satchel faster than you could say nude dwarf.

    We ran away, still fighting laughter at how seriously we had taken them. Once we were well away from the town some dirty and smelly dwarves tumbled out of a small ravine, and onto the road we were following. This was in spite of my calm and reasoned protests that roads only led away from anywhere, and were unlucky too boot.

    A short beatdown later and the bruised would-be-bandits told us why the locals had reacted so oddly and violently to our questions.

    Turns out that there had been a longstanding feud between two local city-states. Oroio, which we had just seen was a theocratic city-state. Ruled over by religious leaders in the church of Goldoi. They used their considerable wealth and connections of fund and arm their crusaders. Who we had just seen.

    To the north lies Splitting. Less of a city-state and more of a place of rest for local nomadic herders and caravaners. They would winter there and tell tales of the last year to each other. The population of Splitting is diverse in race and religions so they allow all kinds of worship. They had pretty much nothing of a standing army, but if needs be they could muster a fearsome host of light cavalry.

    A long time ago the lands Oroio was on had been the summer herding grounds for a group of nomads from Splitting.

    Then some enterprising priests of Goldoi discovered a vast source of gold inside the protective cliffs. Without delay the church of Goldoi sent out a crusader army to claim the newly found ''holy land'' for themselves. The herders refused to give up their ancestral lands and a bloody conflict erupted.

    The Nomads had the upper hand for many years. Raiding any supply trains coming to the new city of Oroio and disrupting the construction of the city as best they could. They harrassed the crusaders, sweeping down on them without warning and cutting them down before riding away as fast and silently as they had come. These raiders were the young men and women of the various nomad clans of Splitting that could be spared from the herders and traders. Brash and brave charges were about all the tactics they knew.

    Sadly, they lacked the sheer force required to break the phalanxes and crossbow barrages of the crusaders. Many died and they eventually withdrew to lick their wounds. This gave the enterprising dwarves a chance, and they did not miss it.

    By the time the raiders returned to harrass the crusaders they had put up sturdy defenses. The already ineffective attacks became suicidal. Since then, the people of Splitting have been raiding the caravans of Oroio and using the gold to arm a force to smash the dwarves deadly phalanx. This unstable peace was futher destabilized very recently when the holy son of Goldoi, Bob Flintspine, was found injured and shaven, a very shameful thing for a dwarf of high standing.

    The pious dwarves of Oroio have begun questioning their leaders, and-

    Holy crap is this longwinded andBORING!!!

    I don''t care!

    At all!

    About any of this!!!

    Blah, why does that effect us? Because the stupid priests and prophet of Goldoi had been telling their followers to watch out for spies and traitors to squash any unrest and resistance among their flock. That makes them too busy watching their friends and neighbors for signs of betrayal to think of rising up themselves, and then we showed up. An eclectic bunch of clear strangers asking possibly suspicious questions.

    So they labelled us as spies and tried to smash us in a clear show of force to put fear and trust back into the hearts of their followers. Well, we know how that worked out, don''t we.

    Anyway, we got unlucky with our choice of place to ask questions in. I told them, following roads is unlucky.

    So now we are heading towards Splitting. Hopefully the people are more helpful around there.

    Tonight we ate some huge crabs that came out of a river we crossed. They need some seasoning, but they aren''t too bad by themselves.

    I am locking my Journal up in a tinglewood box. Nobody will write in my Journal but me! Its my very first companion besides my satchel and pen and all three are very important to me. I know the others mean well but I am not at all okay with letting others write in you.

    Maybe sometime later, I will calm down a bit.

    Goodnight.

 Firestorm

    Hello again! Today was lots of fun!

    Lena started it. Again with a simple question.

    "Hey, big bro?" She asked looking at me cutely. "How hot can you get your flames?"

    Now, that was a very good question. I know this because it prompted Onica to flinch.

    We had to move to a ''relatively destructible place'' as Onica put it. Away from the roads and far from the nearest large burnable patch of forest and grass. I was all for burning the road but I do hate to see a grown cat-lady cry. So we set out looking for a place that I could burn. Lots of rocks and sand were preferrable. Some water nearby so Lena could fight any spreading flames should it prove neccessary.

    So we finally decided on a large but mostly barren hill in the middle of a swamp. A few mountain streams flowing into the area had had long ago flooded a large section of rare flat land among the hills ad mountains into a muddy morass that sucked hungrily at your feet. The thought was that if this whole place burned it would just get re-flooded shortly after anyway, and in the interim nobody would miss it but the frogs and insects.

    There were lots of frogs and insects too. The whole place was full of croaking, ribbiting, squacking, chirping, chirrring, and occasional roaring. Mostly from me at all the bloodsucking insects that called this place home.

    Plopped ignomiously in the middle of this mess was the squat hill we, or rather Julius and I, would be using as an testing ground. It had plenty of long dead trees on it, and some moulding leaf litter. Perfect for burning. Julius and I headed to the top while the others watched from a hill on the far edge of the swamps.

    Once Julius and I got to the top of the hill I gave him a thumbs up and started the experiment. I have noticed I seem to make hotter flames when I am under the influence of strong emotions. So for starters I tried being as calm as I can be. I focused on just heating my body. Not creating flames or throwing them about.

    I gathered all the tingles in me to the pit of my stomach. I compressed them as much as I could and started moving them about as wildly and quickly as possible in a slowly shrinking sphere inside of me. I had my eyes shut to concentrate, but I could feel my body and the air around me getting hotter. As the sphere of wild tingles inside me continued to shrink it took more and more effort to compress it further. Finally I felt like I had reached some kind of threshold. If I went further something great would happen, but I found that last step more difficult to take than all the previous ones put together.

    As frustration and anoyance filtered into my conciousness they seemed to get sucked into the squirming energies inside me. The sphere pulsed and I nearly lost control of it. Intuitively I knew that if I released the sphere as it was it woud give off a great blast of heat and fire all around me. But I wanted to see my limits, and I still had further I could go.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    So determination also slipped into the sphere, and it stabilzed. It slowly began compressing again. Excitement and triumph slipped inside and I nearly lost control again. By this time the sphere which had been bigger than my head at the start was only the size of my fingertip.

    Slowly it crumpled closer and closer to nothing. The air around me was shifting and swirling as it rode the heat I was giving off up into the sky.

    Finally the last little spark condensed into a pure red mote of light inside me, and slowly, like a seed after a long winter it began to sprout. From its center delicate waving strands of golden energy stretched outwards. A full dozen hair thin strands reached out to me from the speck in my center. The tingles inside them was surprisingly tame, but all the same it had a clear destination.

    My bones, or rather, the center of my bones. My arms, legs, ribs, spine, and skull all had these strands gently dig inside of them. Slow pulses ran from the red speck inside me through the strands, and into my bones. I could feel heat building inside the affected bones. Golden strands, even finer than the previous ones left the affected bones. Most sought out and fed those same pulses to more untouched bones, but once all my bones were being fed with pure heat a few started diving into my veins.

    More and more, finer and finer, hotter and hotter. Soon my entire being was golden energy all originating from a single crimson dot in the pit of my stomach.

    That is when I opened my eyes.

    All was fire.

    Winds blasted towards me, only to be caught in an uwpard spiralling column of heat and fire. I had sunk a good three feet into the earth until it had melted into dense enough glass to hold me. The hill was slowly melting away. A good chunk of the swamp had been consumed. As I watched gouts of steam rushed up and were carried by ravenous winds towards me, and then ushered upwards into a towering cloud overhead. The swamp grasses wilted and bowed a good ten feet from the fire, and shortly after went up into flames themselves.

    I gazed at the burning world for a short while before I snapped out of my surprise. As I released my concentration I was surprised to feel the strands and core remain. Dimmed but definitely there. Where before my tingles had to work their way through my body like explorers through a jungle, now they zipped and sped through me with merely a thought. I kept accidentally bursting into flames.

    It''s kind of embarrassing.

    I wonder if it works this way with others? Because if Julius, Lena, and Fen can do the same, won''t we get a huge boost in power? Is that even desirable? My new tingles move almost faster than I can think. Meaning that if I am not careful a stray thought could send a blast of super-heated fire into a mild annoyances face. It takes far more control and focus tonot burn things now. Before I had to try to burn things, now I have to try not to burn things. I wonder which is harder?

    Eh, why not? I''ll tell and show them what happened and let them decide for themselves if they want to try. Fen doesn''t even have bones so I don''t know what to tell him.

    As I pulled my feet from the molten earth with a *sploch* and *sizzle* I saw Julius looking at me with fervent eyes. I guess I know one fella who would be interested.

    I was pretty exhausted, but I still managed to meet up with Lena and the others before a black rain started falling from the new clouds I had made. They were so dense they blocked out the sun nearly completely. I had to use a torch finger to find my way back through the much quieter remains of the swamp.

    We made a shelter shaped like a coiled up snake as Lena requested and sat under it, watching the black ashen rain fall under an unnaturally early night. Onica was sending aggrieved glances alternately between me and the sky.

    Must be careful, cannot burn Onica.

    I made meat and veggie skewers for dinner.

    Goodnight.

 Accidents happen, more often than I would like

    Hello again. Today I burned down a city.

    By accident, I swear. One minute it was there, the next *poof* it was gone.

    My new firepower is seriously hard to control.

    We followed the cursed road right into a ragged wooden city crouched in the depths of a crack in the earth. Splitting I guess. Steam drifted out of the crack and the whole city smelled like a fart. Honestly, I thought we had stumbled upon the behind of a snoozing, flatulent, giant. The houses kind of ruined the image.

    During winter the various clans of nomads gather together, and huddle in big huts around the steaming waters inside the crack. They pass the winter swapping stories and recipes and what have you. The heat for the pools and steaming vents stave off the bitter winter cold. I don''t think it is worth smelling like a fart, but then I have never seen a winter. I don''t have much fear of the cold. I don''t like the cold, and will avoid it if possible. But I don''t fear it enough to cuddle up to suspicious smelling bubbling water.

    Anyway, Onica and Lena went looking for a map, and sent Julius, Fen, and I off to find something to distract us. The city was pretty much empty. Nobody lives here during the fall, summer, and spring seasons. The entrance is a zig-zagging pathway down into the crack. Very wide and easily traversed by large groups. The nomads even have whole sections of the city reserved for their herds. Not sure how they would feed the animals though. At the top of this path is a large tent that the local leader, known as the Keeper, resides in.

    They are responsible for making sure things like random strangers burning down the city don''t happen. The current Keeper is a doddering old man. Long of beard and short of memory. It''s almost tragic that he was left al alone out here. He is the only person in the whole of Splitting currently.

    The three of us headed down into the city proper. Empty streets and empty houses. Rotten reed roofs and sunken plank floors.The only ones who live here now are pests and vermin. Nothing to be worried about, or so I thought.

    So when a rat that was easily as long as I am tall and whose shoulders reach my hips came barreling out of the permanent smelly mist with a annoyingly deep squeak I was rather caught off guard. So off guard that my first reaction was to sneeze.

    Twin flares burst from my nostrils. Incinerating the unfortunate disease riddled rodent, and royally pissing off its hundred of brothers and sisters. They were briefly illuminated by the flash. Hundreds of mad little eyes and ragged ears surrounded us.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    Then the city was on fire.

    Seriously, I have no idea what happened! All I thought was ''NOPE''. Then everything was burning. I think the wood buildings were really dry and should have been considered a fire hazard anyway. Nevermind the ever-present fart water mist that made the stones slick and wood damp. Maybe that smell is flammable?

    Could be, right?

    So we left in a hurry. Onica and Lena hadn''t gotten much out of the rambling ancient who was supposed to be keeping the pest population in check and the city unburnt to cinders and ash. Good job, guy.

    They only got vague mutterings about distant lands and multiple offers of the same moldy cookie.

    We put the steadily rising pillar of smoke behind us and moved on with our lives. Hopefully the nomads can rebuild before winter. Maybe they''ll make it better this time? Less burnable would be wise.

    That was this morning.

    So then! We did it my way!

    Using my tried and true method of the random decision to decide our directon we headed away from the unlucky roads and up a mountain. It was a nice mountain. Very mountainous. There was no grumbling from my companions about using tinglewood or how we were heading into clearly unpopulated lands. Nope, they were all super happy to blindly trust in my wandering instinct. Totally.

    There were pretty forests and rushing rivers. Small vibrant flowers bloomed near the icy waters of the snowmelt streams. Various cute and cuddly critters preyed on each other in the woods. The occasional shriek of prey being found by predator interspersed the rushed burbling of streams and song of birds. Some large hairy animals tried to waylay us.

    They made a good lunch.

    When we neared the top of the mountains the trees thinned out and then disappeared entirely. Hardy grasses and berry bushes gave way to snowy fields that climbed the rest of the way to the peak. It looked cold so we followed along the edge of the snow.

    Crunching the white crusty stuff beneath our feet for fun, and making games out of throwing balls of it at one another. Lena had a clear edge though. I don''t think normal snowballs home in on targets and speed up as time passes. Or explode into ice shrapnel. Or grow arms and legs and trip you.

    As the day was coming to a close we saw the telltale gleam of sunlight on metal in the far distance. A tower, one of many silhouetted against the dying sun. I had successfully found a city. One much larger than the previous two we found by following roads. it was fuzzy from the distance, but I think it was on top of a mountain?

    Onica was so impressed she didn''t say anything. Not a single thing. Nope. She didn''t insult my glorious pathfinding skills as ''dumb luck'' or ''disturbing''. Because that would be rude, and Onica is a lady.

    We were very far from it though. We definitely won''t reach it today. Might not reach it until tomorrow or the day after even. Distance is hard to really suss out in the mountains. If we are multiple days distant though, then those towers are enormous!

    We had some berries from the bushes around us and some goats we saw earlier for dinner. Then I made a structure shaped like a snoozing cat all curled up into a ball for the night.

    All in all, not a bad day. For us.

    Goodnight.

 Everflame Forest

    Hello again. Today was a good day.

    Last night after I lay down to go to sleep I spotted a light in the distance. A really huge light. A section of the nights sky the size of a mountain was as brightly lit as daytime.

    This bright section was in a totally different direction from the towers we had decided to go towards last night. But it is my opinion that any plan you can''t change should be abandoned entirely. So we headed towards the interesting and unusual thing. Any old place can build massive towers that seem to pierce the sky. But what kind of place rejects the night itself? An Interesting place I hoped.

    And my hopes were realized.

    After we jumped off a cliff, forded a river, scaled a different cliff, creapt along a precipice, bridged a crevasse, slid down a slope, and wriggled our way through a narrow gully we started to get the feeling something special was up ahead. The temperature had started to rise. Julius and I relished in the heat. Feeling energized and excited to find its source. Lena and Onica were less enthused about it.

    They huddled next to a chunk of Ice Lena had made in the center of a spider themed Mirage the blue wood with its corsucating light blue rings gave the normally creepy critter an air of the impossible and ethereal. Making the massive chunk of ice in its center seem almost like the shrine of a long lost god of the tundra.

    Fen seemed fine with the heat, He claimed that all he had to do was move some kind of special air around him and he would never burn. Julius and I took that as a challenge.

    Sure enough. When he is surrounded by a bubble of the special air he cannot be set on fire. It also makes my voice sound really high and squeaky.

    Lena laughed so hard she lost control of her spider for a minute and crashed into a boulder. This seemed to inspire the devilish hat and soon we were all squeaking and laughing. The sound of squeaky laughter from the others only prompted more from us. This vicious cycle snatched the breath from our lungs and blinded our eyes. We were crashing and stumbling into each other with frankly sad regularity. I swear at one point I felt a gust of wind push me. Just as I was regaining my balance another hit me behind the head sending me sommersaulting directly into Onica.

    Have we created a prank monster out of a gentlemans hat?

    Shortly after we all stopped squeaking and crashing into each other and our environs we crested a rise and spotted the source of the light and heat.

    A Forest on Fire.

    Or so it appeared at first glance. A second one told the true story. This was not a foreston fire, but a forestof fire.

    The trees had slow flowing lava instead of sap. The leaves and pine needles were sparking and dancing flames. The bark was black with the thinner gaps between the bark plates glowing reds and golds. Flowers bloomed from the scorched black and bright red soil. Vibrant displays of all the shades of red in the world. All their petals were flickering fires, and they sent the occasional puff of sparks drifting up and out of their golden centers.

    Red and black striped bugs buzzed and bumbled through the woods. Gathering the oddly long lived sparks and bringing them back to obsidian hives. A maybe bear made of smoke and ash smashed in one of these hives as we gawped. Seemed like there were some muscles under the covering of choking black smoke the creature had in place of fur.

    The bugs in the smashed hive roared to life, sending stingers made of obsidian into their titanic foe. The bear-thing was mostly undisturbed by their barrage. It just happily dipped a sooty paw in the slow flowing golden lava that had dripped from the crushed hive. It blissfully licked the delicious looking marvel off of its paw until the bugs focused on its exposed tongue and nose. With a muffled roar it exploded. Only to reform from the scattered smoke ten feet distant.

    Thats a neat trick. I wonder if I can do that?

    A long tailed and fluffy animal with crimson fur darted past the distracted bugs and with a deft leap snatched a chunk of honey(?) comb before vanishing into the firey underbrush. A distressed screech overhead drew my eyes to a flametailed hawk that was being harrassed by dozens of darting and daring redwinged blackbirds. The diminutive birds were brave indeed to attack a bird that easily could have crushed any single one of them. They used their superior manuveurability to avoid the sharp talons and smashing wings to the hawk. They flew out of sight quickly.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    On the trunks of some trees chunks of black obsidian fungi protruded. Red capped shrooms and some black toadstools with red dots smoked and smouldered in the shade of boulders and along fallen tree trunks. Squirrels with stubby tails darted about the branches. One saw our group and chattered the usual racket and challenge at us. When it did so its short tail exploded into a crimson plume of flame behind it.

    Everything in this forest was on fire, and judging from the glow we saw last night these flames of life never go out.

    So I named this place the Everflame Forest.

    By now the sun was already well into its descent. Not that you would think of it by all the light here. Eager to get some exploring done before bedtime Julius and I plunged happily into the firey chaos that is an entire ecosystem made of fire.

    Only to discover something obvious and terrible. Our usual brand of ''burn everything, ask questions later'' was useless here. We uncovered this obvious factoid when another smokey bear took exception to us running through its territory and charged us. Both of us hit it dead center with a blast of fire. The bear paused for half a heartbeat before giving out a deafening roar, igniting, and exploding.

    When the smoke cleared it had nearly doubled in size and its claws gleamed with the lustre of volcanic glass. Black fangs long as my fingers bit deep into the meat of my shoulder before its thick and powerful forelimbs came crashing down on my chest and ribs. It smashed me into the ground, and as I fought to draw back the breath it had knocked out of me it reared overhead. As its shadow blocked out the sun a blur of crimson fur rocketed into the side of its head. Knocking it off balance and onto its firey furry butt.

    Julius had cannoned into the thing and saved my life. I gave him the Tyrant from my satchel, and as he reformed it into a pugilistic hare I made a longsword out of the Ivers Dream. A good longsword is shaped almost like an elongated diamond. It is good for crushing slashes and penetrating stabs. Normally used to cripple people in heavy plate armour I figured it would work equally well on a ten foot tall bear made of fire.

    I was mistaken.

    It lacked the reach I needed. Before I could get a decent slash into the bear it could already smack me over the head with its dinnerplate sized paws. Blood filled my left eye in a flood of stinging red. A blur of red and black swarmed over the bear. Buying me time to get up off of the ground, and pull more tinglewood out of my satchel. I remade my longsword into a spear, and stabbed the bear in the right side of its throat. Julius'' giant hare was distracting it with a brutal flurry of punches and kicks from hard wooden paws. Enraged by the pain the bear knocked Julius''Tyrantback on his ass and swung around towards me. I hurriedly retrieved my spear from its neck, and with a small explosion from my planted left foot made some distance between me and the bear. With a snort the behemoth beast dropped to all fours and charged me. I braced the butt of my spear against the ground. Making a spike on the end of the spear shaft to help. I held the shaft under my right arm, and angled the head towards the charging bear.

    The massive beast slammed into my spear. The impact nearly ripped the spear out of my hands, and It drove me back a good dozen feet before finally exhausting the momentum the bears sheer bulk provided it. My arms were sore and shaking from the impact. The reddest blood in the world ran down my spears length and stained my torn hands. The bear had skewered itself on my spear. As I watched it breathed its last with a bloody misted chuff and passed away.

    I collapsed. How long had it been since I had really felt such a rush of danger and adrenaline? Not since the Not-nots and Ravagers so long ago. My whole body was sore. I was bleeding from my head, neck, and shoulders. Cuts and fresh bruises ran along my ribs. My legs trembled from absorbing the impact of the bears charge. My arms ached from the same. I was a bloody mess.

    Did our fire in particular cause such a massive change in the bear? Or is that just how every animal and plant here responds to being set on fire even more than usual. Either way, my fire is more of a bane than a boon here.

    Julius carried me back to the others while I focused on healing. We moved much slower and much more carefully this time. After seeing my condition the others decided to retreat out of the forest for now. We searched the area before deciding to camp at a small pond. Old trees with hanging and swaying branches surrounded the pond and our camp was shaped like a spider tonight. Suspended over the calm waters of the pond by eight spindly looking legs.

    Soft winds whispered through the draping leaves, and wound around the legs of CampIvers Dream. Telling tales of distant places and events to those who can hear them. Not that I can of course, but I like to imagine it.

    We ate the bear for dinner. It was very delicious. It had fought well. It is the last respect I can give such a mighty creature. To savor it well.

    Tomorrow we will be going back into the forest. This time we will give it the respect it deserves. It is a beautiful place, and it is a dangerous place.

    I wonder what will await us in its center?

    Goodnight.

 Fun in the forest

    Hello again. Today was full of new experiences.

    I have never tried drinking lava before. But when inside an awesome fire forest do as the locals do. So when a crimson deer with antlers of sparking bone took a sip from a lava pond I did as well. Shifting back the ashy grass and nudging aside a blooming fire lotus I dipped my head into the red pool, and took a big gulp of the viscous red fluid therein.

    Delicious!

    It tastes like sunshine got squeezed into a liquid and then set on fire! Really good stuff. Lena tried to try some, but I guess its just to hot for her. Onica flat out refused, and Fen doesn''t have a mouth. He did try sparking some. I still can''t tell if he was joking about being able to taste things that way or not.

    Julius and I just stuffed ourselves today. The fruit on the trees? Black apples with glowing red veins running across their skins. Grey berries that feel warm to the touch. Crimson and gold potatoes. All delicious, and nobody, except maybe Fen, was willing to try them. Julius and I had a whole forests bounty for ourselves!

    We made sure to share with the local wildlife of course. Wouldn''t do to step on any toes after all. We are strangers, in a strange land. We must be cautious and polite in equal measure. Just kidding! Everything is so much fun! It would suck to get kicked out before we are ready just becaues we pissed of a forest full of hotheads.

    Interestingly enough our fire does have some kind of transformative effect on the flora and fauna hereabouts. The effects vary, and there is no pattern as far as I can see. Sometimes a bee will grow a longer torso and stinger. Sometimes it will shrink and get barbs on its carapace. If we both hit something at the same time the effects are much greater. Like that mega-bear we barely beat yesterday.

    We both flamed a possible pine tree to see what would happen. Its red needles turned gold. It nearly doubled in height and girth. Its sap turned a brighter shade of red, and its bark started to glisten like glass.

    Very pretty.

    Not sure exactly what is going on, but it is certainly entertaining to watch.

    Lena, Onica, and Fen are having trouble adapting to the heat. Lena can barely squeeze any moisture out of the air. What little she has made she turns to ice and cuddles. They are sweating like crazy and are super irritable if you mention it. Fen is fine for the most part, but he has to be careful and concentrate on surrounding himself in that funny air from yesterday in order to not burn. So he has been mostly quiet today since he was busy with that whole, not burning thingy.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    Another fun thing is that we got lost. Yeah, we don''t know where we are going, or where we came from. I don''t get why that is such a big deal to the others honestly. Its not like I ever really know where I''m going. Hasn''t slowed me down any. Still, I flew up every now and again today. Using the pine tree we changed as a landmark and pointing the way out of the woods for the others below. Then they start walking in circles.

    Seriously. According to them they were walking straight where I was pointing. As I saw it the were just idly wanderering about. Walking here and there, and pretty rarely headed where I was pointing.

    Something is screwing with their sense of direction. They were still making progress though. Just in the wrong direction. They wanted to go to the edge of the forest. But once they started walking they swung around and headed towards its center. Kinda. Like I said they were all over the place. Still, progress was being made.

    I guess we will find the culprit at the center? Seems logical right. If I were the most important part of a forest thats where I would be.

    Hm, I wonder what it would be like tobe a forest. Could I feel everything inside me? Am I some kind of free drifting conciousness, or am I a physical form. Tied into everything inside of me by some invisible strings? I hope I would be a animal. Trees are cool and all, but standing still for to long makes me twitchy. Hmm, a twitchy tree. That''d be fun to see!

    Worst case scenario we just make a big bird out of tinglewood and rocket out of here. I am enjoying myself enough to stick around for a while yet though.

    Tonight for dinner we had, fish from a lava stream, magma apple pie, and some steaks for the less adventurous majority of our crew. Julius dined on a plate of mixed greens. All the greens were red though. So is that a plate of mixed reds then? Doesn''t matter I guess.

    For tonights shelter I made a giant dog out of tinglewood. Then I had Iver bury itself deep into the soil. One we got about ten feet down the surrounding dirt cooled significantly. Pipes extending from the nose and tail of Iver allow for fresh air and the temperature difference with the surface means we always have a steady draft coming through our sleeping area.

    Lena set up a shallow pool in Ivers head and she and Onica are chilling there now. Down here Lena can rustle up more water. I will ask her to fill some tinglewood casks for later use tonight. If we hadn''t stored some water from the mountain lake with the dragon, well, I doubt today would have gone so well. Dehydration is a serious problem. Onica told me all about it anytime I mentioned her sweatiness.

    Tomorrow looks like a promising day! I wonder what awaits us in the center of the Everflame forest?

    I hope it is tasty!

    Goodnight.

 The center

    Hello again. Today we reached the center of the forest.

    Or so I assume. Its a huge clearing. Nothing grows or moves inside of the perfect sphere of cracked red earth. Birds fly around it. No branches break its plane. Entering it is eerie. For the instant you do all sound vanishes. The rustling of leaves. The creak of swaying branches. The background murmuring of life going through life just ceases. Like it was cut by a knife.

    Or had a brick fall on its head. Sudden and abrupt silence with a hint of menace to it.

    Is that a good metaphor? ''Like a brick to the head'' I guess it works right? Meh, I''ll come back to that later.

    There was no physical sensation. No tingle, nor heaviness to the air as I expected there to be. It just becomes still, and silent. Also like a brick. Presumably after it hits you in the head.

    There is a statue in the center of this sphere. Shaped like a hooded person. No idea if its a boy-person or a girl-person thanks to its enveloping robes. It looks like fire. The person that is, and the robes. They are made from the same material. Constantly shifting shades of red, yellow, blue, and white run through it in rythmnic pulses. Kind of like a heartbeat The lone movement inside the circle.

    It sits, bent over a shallow pit in the ground. Its face is lowered seeming to peer inside the pit at the exact center of the otherworldy clearing. It is super creepy, but also very beautiful. Since it doesn''t seem inclined to come over here and murder us all I guess we have to make the first move.

    We huddle up.

    "Ok, so its a mystery statue in the middle of a freaky zone of silence" I whisper to my companions. "What do we do here? I think we poke it with a stick, and get ready to run. Thoughts?" I was hoping for a better idea. Poke and run was fun with the smokey bears. Somehow I was doubting this would go as well.

    Lena shot her hand up "I think we should look inside the little hole. I bet there is something really important to the stiff lady inside it. Maybe if we know what is important to her we can talk and be friends?" She finished with a head tilt as her words kind of trailed off at the end there. I think she was just curious to see what was in the hole.

    Onica raised her hand, mimicking Lena I think. Since I had never seen her do that before. "Where is Julius?" she asked with a slight tremor to her voice. With heavy hearts we all turned to look at the mystery statue. Yup, there was Julius. Sitting in its lap and gazing into the hole. Fearless rabbit that he is.

    Intrigued and comforted by the statues lack of violence I wandererd over to it and looked over its shoulder into the hole. A single black twig. Adorned with a solitary red leaf is tucked inside the hole. It rest in the center. A foot or clear spac between it and the walls of the hole. The leaf expands and contracts akin to slow deep breathes. It felt like it was asleep.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    In a bid not to wake it, something my instincts scream at me not to do, I quietly scoop up Julius and tiptoe away from the hole.

    And then Fen sneezed.

    Why would a hat even need to sneeze! Seriously! I think he resents being ignored so much lately. He has been acting out all day. Sending little bursts of lightning at critters we were trying to avoid. Tripping us at the worst moments with little blasts of wind to the knees or ankles. Which sent us crashing into trees or bee hives. Nothing really dangerous, but I think I need to have a talk with him later.

    A shudder ran through the earth. Shifting the cracks in the red soil. The trees at the outskirts of the clearing seemed to grow a tad. Branches curling into claws and barbs. Menacing and cruel grins seemed to flit across their bark. The hole shifted and a small hill formed. Lifting the black twig into sight. A sensation of being looked at ran across my skin.

    Then a mind wind, for lack of a better descriptor, blew across the area and a sleepy mutter seemed to resonate from the earth itself.

    *thirsty, hungry, feed?* there were no words. Just a vague feeling of hunger, and an image of the pine me and julius had altered yesterday. Impressions of desperate thirst and looming doom rose up in my mind. Of ages passed without so much as a sip or nibble. Of the End coming ever closer. Of desperation, and of hope.

    Julius hopped from my arms as I stood frozen no more then three feet from this strange entity. He flopped his ears questioningy at me and the tip of his left ear lit up with a dark red ember. The Twig shivered and leaned closer to the fire.

    *feed?* it implored silently. Again a desperate and ancient thirst swelled in my mind. The twig swayed slightly and the solitary leaf seemed to blush. I swear, that plant tried to act cute. Weird stuff.

    Weird, but interesting!

    I formed a bright flicker of fire on my fingertips and looked at Julius. He nodded solemnly and together we fed the twig our flames.

    The leaf shuddered, flickering feebly through a series of colors before it fell from the twig to the earth. When it lay on the ground it slowly faded inwads. Until it ceased to exist at all. Then the twig collapsed into dust.

    That... was not at all what I was expecting.

    I had been imagining a great tree bursting from the dry soil and towering overhead, or for some terrible monster plant to try to eat us. Its hard to be disappointed that something didn''t try to eat you. But I still managed somehow. The statue dimmed and faded into a simple brown wood.

    We bowed our head and wished the poor little sprout a safe travel Home. We left offerings of a glowfruit, and the lake dragons head I had been saving for soup. Out of respect for its life and remembrance of its hunger. Then I molded theIvers Dreamback into a big red dog and we padded off into the woods. Everything was still firey. So hopefully we hadn''t accidentally destroyed this beautiful and rare place.

    Some hours passed as we just enjoyed riding through the Everflame forest. Eventually we reached one of the cliff borders, and the big red dog turned into a mass of feelers and claws as we scrabble our way up the sheer cliff. Once we are on top we just sit and watch the sun set behind the mountains, and the glow from below take over the night.

    We were all quiet and subdued tonight. Everyone had felt that small plants plea. The weight of eons behind its desperate thirst. The feeling of a soul so long tortured it had become used to it. It weighs on me. Makes me glad for what I have. I have taken a lot for granted in my life. The ability to move, to seek new lands. To put worries on the roads behind me. If I had been stuck in just one place for all of my life. How sane would I have been?

    I guess tomorrow we are going to be heading towards those towers huh? Hopefully we can find some adventure between here and there. Something to remind us that while the world has plenty of darkness and pain to go around. It has just as much light and joy to share.

    Goodnight.

 Getting to know one another

    Hello again! Todays journey was very simple, no problems, no attacks, no treasures.

    Very boring in other words.

    Still, it gave me ample opportunity to chat with my companions. So that is good. I don''t know if I have ever really gone into any detail about them in my journal. I write this for myself, so why would I describe those I see every day?

    Today I gave it some thought in my ample free time, and figured on a why. People change. Very slowly, so slowly in fact, that if you weren''t paying attention you might just miss it. So here is a comprehensive look at my companions. As they are now.

    First up, Julius.

    Julius is a rabbit. He is pretty big, about two feet from nose to tail. He reaches a respectable height of a foot tall if you count his ears.

    He has suuuuuper soft fur. Its so thick and warm, I love to cuddle with it. His fur comes in various shades of red. His paws are white, but as the fur moves up his body it darkens into a deep red around his ribs.

    From there it changes somewhat, there is a bright ridge of crimson running across his back. Leading to a deep orangey-red puff of fur on his tail. Around his neck is the thickest fur on his body. The red brightens and almost seems to glow. A firey red mane of fluffy fur.

    This contrasts with his body and face fur. Making him seem to be wearing a mantle or scarf made of fire.

    His head has a base red color, lightening on his muzzle until his little pink nose, and deepening on his ears until the semi-black tips.

    Julius is typically the calmest of our group. He is almost always relaxed and reminds us all not to stress the small stuff. The exceptions are in the cases of combat or treasure for his hoard. He is always the first in, and last out of a fight. His small stature and fluffy appearance typically make his foe underestimate him. To their woe.

    He moves blindingly fast, using terrain to block line of sight or provide unusual angles of attack. He will send bursts of fire at the eyes of the enemies, and while they are distracted by the heat and pain he goes for either the throat or the gut. Smashing and burning whatever he kicks. Though his weight does limit his brute force somewhat. He adapts with either speed, rocketing forth in a firey force of fury, or tinglewood. His constructs have the most density and weight, even if they are the smallest.

    His favorite is the battle bunny. A human like rabbit that stands on its back feet and throws punches with its forelimbs. He usually has spikes or hooks on both sets of paws. To provide traction to his footing and penetration to his hits. A small crown made of tinglewood is looped jauntily around the battle bunnys left ear, and its face is set with a permanent smirk as it wrecks its way through a fight. Wild fires dance in its eyes, igniting a sense of either fear or battle lust in those who meet the battle bunnys burning gaze.

    It has been known to utilize rocket blasts on its feet and elbows to really send a message of pain to whatever unlucky individual has gotten into its sights. Julius hits hard, fast, and he doesn''t stop. Fighting Julius at all is asking to get a kicking. Fighting Julius inside the battle bunny? Thats like fighting a rockslide, or an avalanche, or a tidal wave. One that breathes fire, and doesn''t stop until you are buried. Julius seeks out the strong enemys, or the hardest defenses. Then he hammers them into dust. He finds a challenge, and beats it into submission. Unless you''re a friend, of course. Then it''s just bruises.

    When Julius spots a piece of loot he fancies he can get a little blind to consequences. Like that time he wanted to take that gold plated pyramid from Oroio. The rest of us have figured out to immediately tackle him and distance him from the shiny in such cases. Some people look at us with ugly eyes when they see a group tackle on a fluffy bunny. I am always tempted to just let him go in such cases. See how they like the alternative. Humph.

    He stashes his loot in my awesome satchel. Whenever we settle down for the night he gives me this one look, with his ear tilted just so and I know to hand over his hoard. He likes to rearrange it every night. Letting some new piece take pride of place for the night. For all his avarice and greed, he doesn''t mind when we take something from his hoard. As long as we either give it back, or can win it from him in a fight. Easier said then done, but Lena managed it on a few occasions.

    Speaking of, next is Lena.

    Lena is a little girl. I actually don''t know how old she is, but if I had to guess, maybe 11 or 12? She stands a little more than half my height. With tan skin from her days out in the sun and very long light blue hair. Her hair is straight, silky, and it shines like the purest water on the shore of a white sand island. It reaches down to her knees, and she spends a good half hour every morning and night brushing and braiding it. She will either braid it into two long tails down her back, or a single thick braid pulled over her right shoulder.

    She has sharp cheekbones, a strong jawline, and a very slightly cleft chin. Her eyes are blue. They shift between shades. From a deep dark blue of deep waters, to a shining silver of sunken treasure. My favorite is when they are a bright blue, fit to outshine the sky on a clear day. Those eyes are almost always accompanied by a grin so cheeky it just promises trouble.

    She is the most cheerful of our little band. Always looking at the beauty around us with joy and lifting our spirits when we fall and fail. She is very confident, because she knows her own limits. She rarely bites off more than she can chew, and the few times she has she always has an exit strategy. She is the shrewdest of us too. Our ace negotiater and haggler. She can smell weakness and lies in our opponents, and she always goes for the weak spot.

    When we are in combat Lena doesn''t charge out and brawl like Julius. She sits back, calls up a bit of mist to hide in, and watches. When she sees an opportunity she strikes fast, and she strikes hard. Most of her victims don''t last beyond that first blow. She takes her distance, and she takes her time. Of course, if you do manage to get her into a close up brawl, then you have made a terrible mistake.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    You ever try fighting on a slick sheet of ice that keeps shifting under you? Ever lift your weapon over your head only to find it stuck fast in a pillar of ice? Ever try to draw you bow only for the string to be cut by a crescent of water?

    Lenas combat is all about control. She will control you, your weapon, your allies, your terrain, and your death. If you must fight Lena you have to move fast, and you have to hit hard. Because the longer you take, the worse your fate.

    And then there is the tinglewood, orripplewood as she calls it. Lena likes to make a snake out of hers. Unlike Julius who goes for density and hardness, Lena aims for flexibilty and softness. Her snake, or Sybil as she named it, can move fast and take a beating. When we face large creatures, like that lake dragon for example, Lena will wrap them up and constrict their movements. Sapping them of energy with both the physical restraints and the icy scales of Sybil.

    Again Lena likes to hide Sybil in mist, and pounce on the unprepared. Her mist tactic have become even more prevalent since we found that flute undergound. Lena has been practicing, and she is getting pretty good too. When she plays that flute and moves her tingles through it then it spouts a light blue mist. According to Lena, if someone is inside that mist she can super-freeze them into an ice statue, and then the sound of the flute shatteres them into little bitty pieces.

    Fun stuff!

    While she isn''t as greedy as Julius Lena has a soft spot for amphibians and precious stones. She likes to weave them into her braids. The stones, not the amphibians. She has cut some stones to look vaguely like frogs and turtles though. She uses a really tight stream of water to cut through the stones.

    Its pretty cool to watch. Julius normally lets her have the gems we find, unless they fufill some unknown parameter. Then they fight for it.

    She likes to doodle with my pen on rocks and trees we camp next to. Pictures of us, and of frogs and turtles mostly. She hasn''t doodled on my face since the first time, thankfully.

    She spends lots of time with Onica, just chatting about stuff. How to stalk prey, how to loot a corpse, you know, the usual stuff girls talk about. Onica is very important to Lena, she hungers for Onicas praise and appreciation. I think she thinks of Onica as a real big sister. One who is super cool and awesome. Meanwhile I am the bumbling and foolish big brother.

    I am fine with that honestly. Being looked at as silly is so much more comfortable than the fear filled eyes of when we first met. She has come a long way, and I am very proud of her.

    And then there is Onica.

    Onica is tall. Really tall, like head and shoulders taller than me. And I am taller than most. She looks like a human woman for the most part. Except the ears, tail, and fangs. She is lithe and lean, her long limbs muscled and taught with sinew. She has a golden brown skin tone with a healthy gloss and shine to it. Her hair is kept short. Above her shoulders and swept back by a braided leather cord. The cord wraps around behind her ears atop her head and her bangs are swept to the left on her forhead. Her hair is golden blonde with black spots, and has a slight wave to it. Her ears and tail have the same coloration and markings. They look very fluffy, but it is not advised to touch them. Onica is very, very, very fast, and very, very, very stong.

    She has high cheekbones that round out and sweep into the rest of her face. Her hazel eyes rest under thick brows and long lashes. Her jaw is slim but strong, and the very tip of her canines pop out of her mouth to rest on her lips.

    She moves with almost unnatural grace and speed. Following her with your eyes is difficult in an open and brighlty lit space. In a forest or in the mountains, she vanishes from sight completely. She has very sharp hearing, and very sharp knives. So if you talk about her behind her back then you had better be complimenting her.

    Onica is the oldest of us. If you don''t count me. And I don''t because I actually don''t know how old I even am. She has served lords, fought men and beasts, and killed many of both. She has seen war, and she has seen peace. Onica has ended both with her knives. She is the steady hand of experience in our immature crew, and though she suffers for it we are all grateful for her wisdom.

    She was once the champion of a tribe. I don''t really know what that is. But from her tone and obvious pride it must have been a big deal. Sadly, her tribe leader resented her taking the role of champion from his son or nephew or something. So he backstabbed her. Drugged and poisoned Onica still managed to kill him, and his would-be champion and escape pursuit. Only to wander right into the hands of slave traders. Which is where we found her.

    So yeah, she has trust issues. Not with us happily. She trusts Lena implicitly, and says I am a terrible liar. Then the others are a bunny and a hat. Neither are known for their duplicitous natures. So she seems pretty comfortable with us. When we are around other people though? She is a silent looming promise of death. Typically hovering around Lena.

    As far as I can tell murder is her hobby, she doesn''t express much interest in anything but killing and Lena.

    In combat Onica is a blur of blades and blood. She bursts into the thick of it. Dances between combatants like death at a ball, and leaves nothing but bodies behind. If we didn''t have tinglewood, she would be far and away the deadliest combatant on our team. She still is the deadliest combatant on our team, it''s just that the gap is smaller with tinglewood in the mix. If she wanted to, she could have killed us all by now. When we first met she was starved and exhausted, and still nearly wasted me.

    I respect her a lot. She is smart, controlled, dangerous, and beautiful. Kind of like a exquisite knife forged by a master, and then dipped into poison. Sure, she has her sharp edges, but if you get cut trying to play with her. That is on you. I still like to tease her from time to time. But that''s because I can heal pretty quickly.

    Then there is Fen.

    I don''t really know much about Fen. He is young, very young. When he was still a regular hat his wearer would boast of his travels and the things he had seen. So Fen has a strong sense of wonder and wanderlust which fits in well with our group. But he is very touchy. Doesn''t respond well to jokes, and is prone to fly off the handle.

    He talks a lot, and uses as many big words as he knows as often as he can get away with. But I think that is just bluster. Just a kid trying to pretend to be a grownup. He is a kid who doesn''t want to be treated like a kid, but isn''t mature enough to be treated like an adult.

    Social hangups regardless, Fen is great in a fight. He focuses more on support than fighting himself. He can help Onica move even faster by parting the winds before her. He can add some serious punch to Lenas attacks with his lightning, or to Julius and my attacks with gusts of wind to fan our flames.

    When shit goes down Fen stops talking and starts helping. Which is nice.

    It''s of the utmost importance we don''t forget he is a kid. He needs to have fun, he needs to play, and he needs attention. If we ignore him to much he tends to start pranking us. Which is very annoying, and leads to lots of negative attitudes in our group.

    Fen is childish, and we need to watch out for him. Let him grow, and watch as he matures. Hopefully.

    Fen looks like a tophat. Black, sleek, tall profile. A red and a gold feather stick out of his hatband. Occasional sparks will run up and between the two of them.

    What else is there to say?

    Well, there it is. My companions. May they only change for the better.

    Goodnight.

 Labyrinths are dumb

    Hello again. We fell down a hole today.

    It was a pretty big hole, more of an abyss I guess? Abyss just seems like a smug word though. So I think I will just call it a hole.

    But wait, I suppose I should start at the beginning yeah? It will make more sense that way. Hopefully.

    When we woke up the Everflame forest was noticeably dimmer and smaller than it had been yesterday. The center of it seemed more, I don''t know, lively? Than before, but it was definitely shrinking.

    We totally killed it didn''t we?

    Its a heavy thing, to wake up and be faced with your wrongs.

    We all moped for a bit, reflecting on the mistakes of yesterday in the light of today. Until Onica whipped us back into shape with some oddly wise advice about the frailty of life, and how we should live our own lives more vibrantly for those who have fallen. Feels like its more suited for a fallen comrade than a forest, but I''ll take all the encouragement I can get today.

    We shuffled off into the morning mountain mist, and then we fell in a hole. Some other stuff happened in between, but I figured I might as well get into the meat of the day. It was a bit after lunch. The sun was high overhead, beating down on us like a hammer. One second we are standing on a flat stretch of stone. The next we were falling into a dark pit from whence none may return.

    Not my words those, they were scrawled in what looked like very fresh blood of the stone walls of the room full of dead things we had fallen into. A heap of bones and rotted meat is not a very soft landing. Rather squishy and stabby in fact. So I guess it is lucky I had wrapped us all into the Ivers Dream during the overly long fall. We made a sickening *splorch* on impact. Kind of like if you stepped on a pile of fresh shit, and then slipped on that pile of shit and fell into a much larger pile of fresh shit. That kind of sound. I bet the shit would smell better though.

    The full quote from the disturbingly fresh looking blood on the walls went like this: Abandon hope, all ye who enter. For this is the labyrinthine dungeon of Sarkesh, and it is a hell from whence none may return. It was a message that took itself very seriously. Which didn''t bode well for fun and games ahead.

    And sure enough the whole place was all dark narrow corridors of dark gloomy stone. Oy, this day had been a doozy. Well, except at the end there.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    Narrow paths are cut out of a rough and jagged stone that likes to grab at your clothes, and the passages were full of sharp corners and hidden passages. Water seeps down the walls and falls from the ceilng far above making echoey drips and splashes to accompany the splashes from our footsteps. The few places where there is no water are covered in bloody scrawls.

    Weeping confessions of doomed men. Twisted stories of madmen. Threats and oaths from angry men. All last words, and all written in the blood of those who wrote them. Presumably. Its also possible that this is all some kind of gross attempt at drama by that Sarkesh fellow, or the snakemen.

    Because of course there are snakemen. Snake people really. There are women too after all. They come in all colors and have ornate bone piercings through their arms, noses, and ears. They all have thick muscular snake tails instead of legs. They also lisp pretty badly. Their slithery appendages make much less noise then our splashing clomping footsteps. So they like to sneak up on us from behind, and jump us from around the bends.

    Hasn''t worked out well for them, let me say. Lena in an enviroment with water in literally every direction? Very much over kill. Sneaky snakes get shunked by shiny spears of slicing ice. Lots of mangling occured. Loads of murder. A tad of mincing. Some mild maligning. Thats when the day started looking up. Because alliteration always lifts the spirits.

    Add to Lenas extreme slaughter skills tinglewood shelters whenever we want a rest or are feeling peckish, and we haven''t got a worry here. The dankest murder tunnels in the world can become cozy little nooks with judicious applications of tinglewood and fire.

    The most troublesome thing is the maze. There are thousands of corridors. All leading to narrow rooms where there are dozens of branching paths. It would take a miracle to map and navigate this place. Years, decades even, of maddening memorization to merely plot a course through its depths.

    I wandered though it before the sun set.

    Yeah, I just went wherever I felt like it and bam. We reached the exit. Its a big round room with lots of dead snakemen inside it. They were alive when we got there though. There is a big glowing pearl floating in the middle of the room and a large staircase leading up and out.

    Lena and Julius fought over whose stash the pearl would enter. I ended up having to take it since they couldn''t agree, and their fight was threatening to bring the whole cavern down on top of us. The pearl crumbled into dust when we took it outside the dungeon anyway. Both Lena and Julius cried for the loss of their newest bauble.

    Once outside the bright blue sky lifted our glum spirits, and the joyous song of happy little birds put smiles on our faces.

    We all love bird for dinner.

    So, now we are eating dinner, and much closer to the towers than we expected. That labyrinth must have led us directly through a few mountains.

    Nice shortcut that.

    All in all, today started off sad, turned bad, and somehow in all the mayhem and madness became a good day at the end there.

    Nice.

    Goodnight.

 Getting to know one another

    Hello again! Todays journey was very simple, no problems, no attacks, no treasures.

    Very boring in other words.

    Still, it gave me ample opportunity to chat with my companions. So that is good. I don''t know if I have ever really gone into any detail about them in my journal. I write this for myself, so why would I describe those I see every day?

    Today I gave it some thought in my ample free time, and figured on a why. People change. Very slowly, so slowly in fact, that if you weren''t paying attention you might just miss it. So here is a comprehensive look at my companions. As they are now.

    First up, Julius.

    Julius is a rabbit. He is pretty big, about two feet from nose to tail. He reaches a respectable height of a foot tall if you count his ears.

    He has suuuuuper soft fur. Its so thick and warm, I love to cuddle with it. His fur comes in various shades of red. His paws are white, but as the fur moves up his body it darkens into a deep red around his ribs.

    From there it changes somewhat, there is a bright ridge of crimson running across his back. Leading to a deep orangey-red puff of fur on his tail. Around his neck is the thickest fur on his body. The red brightens and almost seems to glow. A firey red mane of fluffy fur.

    This contrasts with his body and face fur. Making him seem to be wearing a mantle or scarf made of fire.

    His head has a base red color, lightening on his muzzle until his little pink nose, and deepening on his ears until the semi-black tips.

    Julius is typically the calmest of our group. He is almost always relaxed and reminds us all not to stress the small stuff. The exceptions are in the cases of combat or treasure for his hoard. He is always the first in, and last out of a fight. His small stature and fluffy appearance typically make his foe underestimate him. To their woe.

    He moves blindingly fast, using terrain to block line of sight or provide unusual angles of attack. He will send bursts of fire at the eyes of the enemies, and while they are distracted by the heat and pain he goes for either the throat or the gut. Smashing and burning whatever he kicks. Though his weight does limit his brute force somewhat. He adapts with either speed, rocketing forth in a firey force of fury, or tinglewood. His constructs have the most density and weight, even if they are the smallest.

    His favorite is the battle bunny. A human like rabbit that stands on its back feet and throws punches with its forelimbs. He usually has spikes or hooks on both sets of paws. To provide traction to his footing and penetration to his hits. A small crown made of tinglewood is looped jauntily around the battle bunnys left ear, and its face is set with a permanent smirk as it wrecks its way through a fight. Wild fires dance in its eyes, igniting a sense of either fear or battle lust in those who meet the battle bunnys burning gaze.

    It has been known to utilize rocket blasts on its feet and elbows to really send a message of pain to whatever unlucky individual has gotten into its sights. Julius hits hard, fast, and he doesn''t stop. Fighting Julius at all is asking to get a kicking. Fighting Julius inside the battle bunny? Thats like fighting a rockslide, or an avalanche, or a tidal wave. One that breathes fire, and doesn''t stop until you are buried. Julius seeks out the strong enemys, or the hardest defenses. Then he hammers them into dust. He finds a challenge, and beats it into submission. Unless you''re a friend, of course. Then it''s just bruises.

    When Julius spots a piece of loot he fancies he can get a little blind to consequences. Like that time he wanted to take that gold plated pyramid from Oroio. The rest of us have figured out to immediately tackle him and distance him from the shiny in such cases. Some people look at us with ugly eyes when they see a group tackle on a fluffy bunny. I am always tempted to just let him go in such cases. See how they like the alternative. Humph.

    He stashes his loot in my awesome satchel. Whenever we settle down for the night he gives me this one look, with his ear tilted just so and I know to hand over his hoard. He likes to rearrange it every night. Letting some new piece take pride of place for the night. For all his avarice and greed, he doesn''t mind when we take something from his hoard. As long as we either give it back, or can win it from him in a fight. Easier said then done, but Lena managed it on a few occasions.

    Speaking of, next is Lena.

    Lena is a little girl. I actually don''t know how old she is, but if I had to guess, maybe 11 or 12? She stands a little more than half my height. With tan skin from her days out in the sun and very long light blue hair. Her hair is straight, silky, and it shines like the purest water on the shore of a white sand island. It reaches down to her knees, and she spends a good half hour every morning and night brushing and braiding it. She will either braid it into two long tails down her back, or a single thick braid pulled over her right shoulder.

    She has sharp cheekbones, a strong jawline, and a very slightly cleft chin. Her eyes are blue. They shift between shades. From a deep dark blue of deep waters, to a shining silver of sunken treasure. My favorite is when they are a bright blue, fit to outshine the sky on a clear day. Those eyes are almost always accompanied by a grin so cheeky it just promises trouble.

    She is the most cheerful of our little band. Always looking at the beauty around us with joy and lifting our spirits when we fall and fail. She is very confident, because she knows her own limits. She rarely bites off more than she can chew, and the few times she has she always has an exit strategy. She is the shrewdest of us too. Our ace negotiater and haggler. She can smell weakness and lies in our opponents, and she always goes for the weak spot.

    When we are in combat Lena doesn''t charge out and brawl like Julius. She sits back, calls up a bit of mist to hide in, and watches. When she sees an opportunity she strikes fast, and she strikes hard. Most of her victims don''t last beyond that first blow. She takes her distance, and she takes her time. Of course, if you do manage to get her into a close up brawl, then you have made a terrible mistake.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    You ever try fighting on a slick sheet of ice that keeps shifting under you? Ever lift your weapon over your head only to find it stuck fast in a pillar of ice? Ever try to draw you bow only for the string to be cut by a crescent of water?

    Lenas combat is all about control. She will control you, your weapon, your allies, your terrain, and your death. If you must fight Lena you have to move fast, and you have to hit hard. Because the longer you take, the worse your fate.

    And then there is the tinglewood, orripplewood as she calls it. Lena likes to make a snake out of hers. Unlike Julius who goes for density and hardness, Lena aims for flexibilty and softness. Her snake, or Sybil as she named it, can move fast and take a beating. When we face large creatures, like that lake dragon for example, Lena will wrap them up and constrict their movements. Sapping them of energy with both the physical restraints and the icy scales of Sybil.

    Again Lena likes to hide Sybil in mist, and pounce on the unprepared. Her mist tactic have become even more prevalent since we found that flute undergound. Lena has been practicing, and she is getting pretty good too. When she plays that flute and moves her tingles through it then it spouts a light blue mist. According to Lena, if someone is inside that mist she can super-freeze them into an ice statue, and then the sound of the flute shatteres them into little bitty pieces.

    Fun stuff!

    While she isn''t as greedy as Julius Lena has a soft spot for amphibians and precious stones. She likes to weave them into her braids. The stones, not the amphibians. She has cut some stones to look vaguely like frogs and turtles though. She uses a really tight stream of water to cut through the stones.

    Its pretty cool to watch. Julius normally lets her have the gems we find, unless they fufill some unknown parameter. Then they fight for it.

    She likes to doodle with my pen on rocks and trees we camp next to. Pictures of us, and of frogs and turtles mostly. She hasn''t doodled on my face since the first time, thankfully.

    She spends lots of time with Onica, just chatting about stuff. How to stalk prey, how to loot a corpse, you know, the usual stuff girls talk about. Onica is very important to Lena, she hungers for Onicas praise and appreciation. I think she thinks of Onica as a real big sister. One who is super cool and awesome. Meanwhile I am the bumbling and foolish big brother.

    I am fine with that honestly. Being looked at as silly is so much more comfortable than the fear filled eyes of when we first met. She has come a long way, and I am very proud of her.

    And then there is Onica.

    Onica is tall. Really tall, like head and shoulders taller than me. And I am taller than most. She looks like a human woman for the most part. Except the ears, tail, and fangs. She is lithe and lean, her long limbs muscled and taught with sinew. She has a golden brown skin tone with a healthy gloss and shine to it. Her hair is kept short. Above her shoulders and swept back by a braided leather cord. The cord wraps around behind her ears atop her head and her bangs are swept to the left on her forhead. Her hair is golden blonde with black spots, and has a slight wave to it. Her ears and tail have the same coloration and markings. They look very fluffy, but it is not advised to touch them. Onica is very, very, very fast, and very, very, very stong.

    She has high cheekbones that round out and sweep into the rest of her face. Her hazel eyes rest under thick brows and long lashes. Her jaw is slim but strong, and the very tip of her canines pop out of her mouth to rest on her lips.

    She moves with almost unnatural grace and speed. Following her with your eyes is difficult in an open and brighlty lit space. In a forest or in the mountains, she vanishes from sight completely. She has very sharp hearing, and very sharp knives. So if you talk about her behind her back then you had better be complimenting her.

    Onica is the oldest of us. If you don''t count me. And I don''t because I actually don''t know how old I even am. She has served lords, fought men and beasts, and killed many of both. She has seen war, and she has seen peace. Onica has ended both with her knives. She is the steady hand of experience in our immature crew, and though she suffers for it we are all grateful for her wisdom.

    She was once the champion of a tribe. I don''t really know what that is. But from her tone and obvious pride it must have been a big deal. Sadly, her tribe leader resented her taking the role of champion from his son or nephew or something. So he backstabbed her. Drugged and poisoned Onica still managed to kill him, and his would-be champion and escape pursuit. Only to wander right into the hands of slave traders. Which is where we found her.

    So yeah, she has trust issues. Not with us happily. She trusts Lena implicitly, and says I am a terrible liar. Then the others are a bunny and a hat. Neither are known for their duplicitous natures. So she seems pretty comfortable with us. When we are around other people though? She is a silent looming promise of death. Typically hovering around Lena.

    As far as I can tell murder is her hobby, she doesn''t express much interest in anything but killing and Lena.

    In combat Onica is a blur of blades and blood. She bursts into the thick of it. Dances between combatants like death at a ball, and leaves nothing but bodies behind. If we didn''t have tinglewood, she would be far and away the deadliest combatant on our team. She still is the deadliest combatant on our team, it''s just that the gap is smaller with tinglewood in the mix. If she wanted to, she could have killed us all by now. When we first met she was starved and exhausted, and still nearly wasted me.

    I respect her a lot. She is smart, controlled, dangerous, and beautiful. Kind of like a exquisite knife forged by a master, and then dipped into poison. Sure, she has her sharp edges, but if you get cut trying to play with her. That is on you. I still like to tease her from time to time. But that''s because I can heal pretty quickly.

    Then there is Fen.

    I don''t really know much about Fen. He is young, very young. When he was still a regular hat his wearer would boast of his travels and the things he had seen. So Fen has a strong sense of wonder and wanderlust which fits in well with our group. But he is very touchy. Doesn''t respond well to jokes, and is prone to fly off the handle.

    He talks a lot, and uses as many big words as he knows as often as he can get away with. But I think that is just bluster. Just a kid trying to pretend to be a grownup. He is a kid who doesn''t want to be treated like a kid, but isn''t mature enough to be treated like an adult.

    Social hangups regardless, Fen is great in a fight. He focuses more on support than fighting himself. He can help Onica move even faster by parting the winds before her. He can add some serious punch to Lenas attacks with his lightning, or to Julius and my attacks with gusts of wind to fan our flames.

    When shit goes down Fen stops talking and starts helping. Which is nice.

    It''s of the utmost importance we don''t forget he is a kid. He needs to have fun, he needs to play, and he needs attention. If we ignore him to much he tends to start pranking us. Which is very annoying, and leads to lots of negative attitudes in our group.

    Fen is childish, and we need to watch out for him. Let him grow, and watch as he matures. Hopefully.

    Fen looks like a tophat. Black, sleek, tall profile. A red and a gold feather stick out of his hatband. Occasional sparks will run up and between the two of them.

    What else is there to say?

    Well, there it is. My companions. May they only change for the better.

    Goodnight.

 What is it good for

    Hello again. Today we found a war.

    Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the war found us.

    We were walking along a deer trail between two ridges when we stumbled into a camp of roughly fifty men with spears and purple painted shields. There was a chubby bear curled up and snoozing on the shields, and on the purple banner waving from the pole in the center of the camp. How did we miss that?

    I think we surprised them. I guess thats only fair though right? Who expects a man, a rabbit, a little girl in a tophat, and a crazy cat lady to wander out of the brush and right into your army camp?

    One of the fatter soldiers with a little feather on his helmet marking him a sergeant barked at the others around him. "Capture them!" Yeah, that went about as well for them as you might expect.

    After we got done playing with the soldiers, they were too weak to kill, we tried to figure out what was going on. The fat sergeant was still puking up his shattered teeth and dreams. So we chatted with Morana instead. Morana is a nice young lady with sleepy eyes and a round face that make her look like a baker or a particularily slow librarian. But she''s actually pretty dang sharp. She also had a bigger feather in her comically oversized helmet, marking her as commander of the unit we surprised.

    "So, I don''t suppose you guys happen to be mercenaries?" Morana asked before we could muster up any questions of our own. "Because if you are, then I would be very pleased to hire you. I would be willing to offer you my most precious treasure for your services." She had guts this one.

    Lena and Julius had been leaning towards her in anticipation since hearing the wordtreasure, but someone had to be the voice of reason and restraint around here. So I steepled my fingers in front of my face and asked her "That would depend on the treasure, miss..." I trailed off, hoping that was the right thing to do.

    "Morana, my name is Morana Somursa. Head of House Somursa." Oh good, itwas the right thing to do. "The treasure is a map, passed down in my family for generations. Great-great-great grandpapa won it in a dice game from a pirate, then fled inland to escape his wrath. It is a map to a legendary pirates hidden treasure" Treasure map! Buried loot! Ohohohohooo was I excited!This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Then Onica jumped in before I could immediately accept and clapped her hand over my mouth for good measure. "And why, exactly, would you be willing to give up a family heirloom in order to retain some random people you just met in the woods?" She was giving Morana the super duperI will kill everyone you love if you lie eyes. You know the ones.

    Morana shuddered and started to sweat, but still managed to open her trembling lips to reply. "W-well, I know for a fact that you are strong, and I don''t know if the treasure map is genuine. Or if the story is even true and wasn''t just made up by my great-great grandpapa." Her voice steadied and strengthened as she spoke. "I will chose the certain over the possible. Do we have a deal?" She met Onicas murder eyes with her own sleepy but hard gaze.

    Onica peeled her hand away from my mouth." Of course we accept!" I blurted before anyone else could try to stop me! APIRATES BURIED TREASURE!!! I don''t give two hoots about the treasure itself, what do I need more shiny heavy stuff for? But this just smells like too much adventure to miss out on!

    Anyway, then the boring talks started, factions were outlined, forces arrayed, and a plan was made. The gist went like this. *ahem*

    Morana was one of six claimants to the local throne. Her mothers aunts sister or something like that was a sister to the king before last. She had the smallest claim, the worst army, and no real possibility of victory. But she fought regardless because either way the other five claimants would kill her to clean up any loose ends.

    So all we had to do was break five armies, smash five strongholds, and bring her the heads of the other five claimants. Then we would get our treasure map and off into the sunset we would go.

    Easy as pie.

    We got a flag with a purple bear to wave at our victims, and some neat purple armbands to show our allegiance. There were some annoying things we had to do as well. We couldn''t actually kill everyone in every army. Because apparently they are mostly farmers and if we kill them all the Moranas queendom will starve. She also wants us to bring the other claimants before her, alive, so she can accept any surrenders and take hostages to control their allegiance. Again, apparenly if we kill them all then her position will be secure, but her national power will be so low any of her neighboring powers could just step in and crush her.

    Being a ruler sounds hard. Glad I am just a wanderer.

    We moved the rest of the day. Setting up camp on the border Morana shared with two other claimants. Tomorrow we will flip a coin to decide who to attack first.

    Sounds like fun times ahead!

    Goodnight.

 War comes in all the colors of the rainbow

    Hello again! Today was a kinda fun.

    We woke up, stretched, had some breakfast, and enjoyed the sun rise. Then we flipped a coin. Fancy looking chair and we would assault to the left, man with very large nose and we would assault to the right.

    To the left were the lands of House Bosvarum. They had a yellow bull pulling a plow as their standard and were the House with the most fertile lands, they fed most the rest of the kingdom and traded the surplus for a good profit. They were not one of the favorites to win the throne according to Onica, who I guess heard it from Morana? Because they had a very small army compared to their territory. Most of their able bodied men and women were working the farms that filled their domain, and the horses they would normally use for war were instead used to plough fields.

    To the right were the lands of House Rottaxus, an old clan whose standard was a fat red weasel looking thing. They had once been a powerhouse due to their mines and forges, but nowadays their mines had run dry and their forges were cold. So they struggled to compete with the other Houses. They were known for their heavy infantry though. The narrow valleys and steep hills of their domain making the otherwise dominant cavalry obsolete in their lands.

    Either way, sounded like a fun day, right?

    The fancy chair landed so we headed off to beat up the cow banner people.

    Onica and Fen headed off ahead of us. They were the fastest of us and wouldn''t get lost while Lena would keep Julius and me from wandering off. Onica would scout out the enemy location, and then we would regroup and crush them. Gently, as requested.

    That was the plan anyway.

    Shortly after Onica and Fen headed out I saw a nice burbling stream. It had been a windy day and there was a lot of dust in the air. So I stopped for a dip and a wash. I jumped into the water, and I swear I only drifted a little ways. When I popped up I had the dubious honor of surprising an army.

    They had the yellow cow of our target waving on their banners. All infantry, most without any armor at all. Simple spears and quite a few bows were the only weapons I could see. The dirty ''soldiers'' making up the ranks looked like farmers out hunting wolves. Not troops marching to war. They clearly lacked training, discipline, and a proper armory.

    Me and the lead soldier exchanged shocked looks for three seconds that felt like three days. ''Please don''t freak out'' I silently implored him. ''Or I will have to hurt you'' A violet thread of light spun into being, connecting my eyes and his. The unfortunate soldier, who probably hadn''t even wanted to be in the very front of the army anyway, paled. His face turned white with a sick green tinge and he started to sweat profusely. His limbs shook as he tried desperately to turn his head, to look away, to no avail.

    Of course, he was only one soldier in an entire army of 500-ish soldiers. So while we were having our little moment other, arguably smarter, soldiers were stringing bows and nocking arrows. By the time the first soldier was a twitching mess on the ground I had been surrounded by spearmen. A ring of pointy sharp metal hemming me in from all directions.

    Hm, I saw their forest of sharp metal, and I raised them A FIRE BLAST TO THE FACE!!!

    Since I was still standing in the stream my upping of the ante was met with an eruption of steam and screams. Wooden handles burnt, metal spearheads melted, flesh bubbled and sloughed off of bone. The screams vanished as quickly as they appeared as the poor souls screaming no longer had mouths to scream with, or faces for that matter.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    It was pretty dang brutal, if I must say so myself.

    Said brutality kinda freaked out the vast majority of soldiers who had the good fortune to be outside of the blast radius. They started moving away from me, slowly, like they were trying not to wake up a sleeping dragon they found napping in their house. High pitched screams of "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE YOU FOOLS! TURN THAT MONSTER INTO A PINCUSHION!" Roused some forward movement from the rearmost units. With a staggered snapping and clatter swarms of arrows filled the air. They buzzed angriy towards me in a storm of bloody-minded wood and steel.

    I knew exactly what to do! MORE FIRE!

    Sadly this proved a less helpful choice than expected. The arrows burned wonderfully, but the now molten heads still had enough oomph behind them to reach me. Most missed, slapping into the mess of blood and flesh that had been an idyllic stream a few minutes ago. But fully a dozen splatted onto my arms, legs, and torso. The heat from the molten metal didn''t bother me at the time so I just left it alone. Peeling the cooled metal slugs off of me later hurt like pulling teeth. From an awake and very alive mountain lion.

    Anyway, the army broke and ran after my latest display of awesomeness was combined with a flash of purple light and a roaring dragon made of my fire. The leader of the ill-fated army, the head of House Bosvarum as it happens, had been thrown from his horse in all the chaos of a full force unordered retreat. He was a very fat man, with no discernable neck and very oily hair he kept slicking back nervously.

    He had been trying to run away with his army. But a fat man in shiny and heavy armor is a very to outrun. So he got caught pretty damn quick. He was the guy who had been screaming about me being a monster. Pretty high voice for all his bulk.

    Lena and Julius arrived just in time to see the last of his forces run out of sight. They were very disappointed they didn''t get to join in the fight. Lena called dibs on the next army, with Julius calling the one after that. I guess that''s only fair, right? Julius sulkily added the fat guys armor to his hoard. It was very nice. Sturdy plate, engraved with depictions of the four seasons, and how they affected a field of wheat. I snagged some nice white bread from his personal supply wagon that had been left behind in all the panic earlier. Good bread is hard to find.

    Anyway, we carted the fat guy, I never bothered learning his name, back towards Moranas base. Onica and Fen met us on the way. They had scouted the Bosvarum stronghold and found it nearly empty of troops. So they had swung back around only to find a panicking army running as fast as they can for the fort. I''m guessing it''ll be pretty easy to get them to surrender now that they''re leaderless and afraid.

    Morana was thrilled with our gift of a fatty. She drew up a few fancy pieces of paper that he signed. Declaring his renouncement of any right to rule as well as his support for Morana of House Somursa for queen. He looked kind of bitter, but some purple eye mojo got him signing pretty quick.

    I guess he will be sending his heir and a few other family members to Moranas place. To ensure his cooperation. Then he will be released and his army and resources will be at her disposal.

    Neat.

    We left pretty quickly after that. Only so much daylight to move around in afterall. I mean, sure, with our abilities moving at night wouldn''t be much of a hassle, but I really enjoy sleeping. I get cranky when I get tired.

    So we headed towards the Rottaxus lands this time. Not much happened along the way, Julius found a new type of sweet grass he likes. Lena played some music with her flute, she is really getting much better. Onica told us a story about a bandit group she destroyed once. The leader ony ever talked in riddles, and always wore an ugly suit. Fen was pouting because he was told he and Onica would have to share an army. Once he gets older he can have his own army. For now he will have Onica to make sure he doesn''t bite off more than he can chew.

    All in all, it was a good day. Very relaxing.

    We had a cow for dinner. Like as a guest. It just wandered into camp while we were eating. We gave it some food, one wanderer to another, and it left after dinner.

    Fair travels Mr. Cow!

    Goodnight.

 Victory goes to the meanest

    Hello again. Today Lena learned about war.

    She was very excited to fight an actual army, and thankfully the chosen victim of her tender attentions didn''t seem to disappoint.

    The lands of the Rottaxus are rocky, hilly, and barren. Not much good for anything besides herding and mining. The people of this land are hardy folk, and they have a tradition of martial excellence. The macemen and shieldwalls of their militias were renowned.

    No soft targets here. All the villages were behind walls of stone the land so generously provided. Time and bordeom had combined to inspire the local folk to put massive walls around every single tiny village. Making the land of the Rottaxus one full of fortresses and redoubts. All the boys and girls train with serious faces under the stern eyes of their parents to master weapon skills, and earn the right to wear the coveted armor of their ancestors.

    Only the best could wear the few armors they had left since the mines ran dry and the forges cold. And only the very best of those could move from village militiamen to true soldiers of the House Rottaxus. Making their forces far and away the most fierce and loyal heavy infantry in the kingdom.

    Or so I am told.

    Hm, is it bad that I agreed to fight for and crown a queen without ever learning the name of the kingdom she would rule?

    ...Nah, I''m sure its fine.

    Anyway, Lena was in charge of taking out House Rottaxus. She had to capture the head of the House, without killing everyone. Shouldn''t be too hard right?

    Well, it wasn''t really. We snuck past the border patols. Ducked past the fortified villages. Crept up on the manor of House Rottaxus, and snatched everyone who looked like they could be in charge. We loaded them up in Sibyll and ran like heck.

    Easy as pie.

    We smacked a few patrols of heavily armored militia out of our way and made it back to Morana in record time.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

    Which is when we discovered we had grabbed literally everyone in the Rottaxus family besides the head. He had already left with his elite forces to capture the lands of his neighbor to the north. The swamplands of House Fensfell. A family known for their poisons and medicines. Their standard is a green snake.

    Which explains why we never found the army Lena was so looking forward to. If we had known they had already left we would have let her smash the manor more. She was very frustrated and demanded we rush off to find and beat the army. Oh, and capture the leader. If she felt like it afterwards.

    So, we left the entire family of the Rottaxus House in Morana''s capable hands and went back to find their wayward leader.

    He was dead.

    Apparently the attack on the swamp dwelling Fensfell family didn''t go very well. I guess people in heavy armor don''t float very well? Their rafts were sunk, their food poisoned, their days full of bugs and muck, and their nights full of fire arrows and poison darts. According to the handful of very dirty and smelly people we found. They had been sleeping in their armor out of fear of night attacks. Leather soaked in swamp water, sweat, and other fluids gets pretty ripe.

    Most of the elite forces are dead. According to the survivors they had been ordered to sneak back to request reinforcements. As they were sneaking off they saw their friends and allies get swarmed and attacked. There might be some held prisoner, but the poor stinky soldiers didn''t sound very confident of that.

    More troubling than this was Lena never got a chance to really fight. She was planning on crushing the elite forces herself. Now that her army was defeated by a third party what would we do?

    There had only been five armies to begin with. Now that we were down to three we had to rethink our plans. Originally since I had already beaten one and Onica and Fen were sharing one it would have gone, me when I chased off the yellow bull army, Lena, Julius, Onica & Fen, whole group.

    After much debating (fighting with each other) a new plan was agreed on. Since Lena had the greatest synergy with fighting in the swamps she would get another shot at the Fensfell family.

    Then Julius would get his chance to fight with the chivalrous heavy cavalry of House Destrier. Their standard being the blue stallion.

    Onica & Fen would get to fight the famed hunters and archers of House Vultiaco. Their standard being the orange vixen.

    I would have to settle for that short skirmish yesterday. I guess its fair enough. Hmph, lets see how they like roasted sprouts and warm milk for dinner!

    By the time all that was settled the day was nearly over. So we dropped the survivors of house Rottaxus off with their tale of woe at Morana''s place and headed back towards the swamps.

    Tomorrow will be more fun I hope.

    Good night.

 Nest of serpents

    Hello again. Today was fun!

    We got to the swamps of the Fensfell family mid-morning.

    The mist rising from the marsh wreathed the area in a quiet beauty. Reeds and occasional bushes broke the white surface like isolated islands drifting amongst the clouds. Chirping birds and croaking frogs played a steady and insistent tune. Overlaying the still lands with a sense of urgency and life.

    It was a beautiful scene.

    Gentle winds swept into the swamp and lifted the veil. Temporarily letting us see the horror masked by the beauty. Crumpled bodies and bloodied war banners lay strewn across the few semi solid mudflats we could see. Charred rafts coated in dead bodies drifted idly with the current. Bloated corpses trailed behind them. Occasionally one of the bodies would twitch or shudder as a passing fish or critter stopped for a bite to eat.

    The smell was cloying, clinging, and disgusting. The typical scent of rotting vegetation and filthy water underpinned the heavy musk of rot and decay that wafted from the bodies to our location. A line of spears in the sand held the heads of the unfortunate prisoners of House Fensfell. Their vacant gazes glaring accusingly at us for living while they died. The rictuses of the damned held onto the forgotten emotions of fear and pain long after death. Demanding recompense for their loss and ruin.

    We ignored all that and had a late breakfast. Fen was nice enough to create a wind buffer to stop the smell from putting us off our feed.

    After a hearty breakfast we headed into the swamp, since Lena was in charge we were all riding in or on Sibyll. As her serpent lazily swept through the yucky water Lena stood on its head. Her posture rigid and quivering with excitement. It wasn''t long before we had our first catch of the day.

    A boat, woven out of the reeds that were so common here paddled out of the dissapating mist and right into our path. Lena stood even straighter than before, which I didn''t think was even possible, and Sibyll shot towards the unlucky craft at full speed.

    Panicked cries and rushed orders erupted from the boat as swarthy and wiry men and women in light cloth garb rushed to propel their craft out of our way. The water itself seized their oars, and shattered them. Leaving them dead in the water. Soon enough that was more literal than figurative.

    Sibyll crashed directly into the middle of the flimsy craft. Shattering it and dumping the crew not immediately reduced to giblets into the death tainted waters. The boatmen were strong swimmers though. They immediately struck out for safety in all directions. Cutting smoothly through the troubled waters in an attempt to escape their doom.

    But they were in the water. And in the water, Lena is Queen.

    One by one, they were sucked to their deaths in the depths. Unseen hands dragging them to their unwilling demise. Thrashing water and streams of desperate bubbles stirred the surface for a time. But finally, the water was still, and silence once again reigned.

    Her first action ending in success Lena finally relaxed. Her face, once screwed up in concentration, now slack and faintly smiling. Now thatthatwas over, she could relax, plot, and scheme. As was her wont to do. The next boat she found was smashed much the same as the first, and the next, and the next. But she let the survivors swim away. She was careful not to show any of her water control and we all were hiding inside of Sibyll. As far as the survivors were concerned they had been attacked by a giant blue snake, and nothing more.

    Lena had decided it would be more efficient to let them gather, and then come to her rather than trying to hunt them down herself.

    Sure enough, it wasn''t long before the first ''snake hunting party'' came skulking around. Five reed boats, filled with masked and spear toting people came difting smoothly through the swamps. Lena evaded them and instead headed towards where they came from.

    She figured that they might have gathered at some kind of central area before heading off on their hunt. Hopefully that area was the House Fensfell compound.

    The swamps didn''t allow them to build the typical fortifications one would expect from a family of their standing. Instead they lived on large rafts. Their homes always on the move and temporary settlements forming wherever necessary.

    This was one of the reasons the poor Rottaxus forces had so much trouble. They couldn''t reach any sot of target before it just upped anchor and drifted away. In times of war or invasion the House Fensfell dispersed. So as to not give any opportunity for a decisive blow against their industry and infrastructure. It''s hard to crush something you can''t find after all.

    A dispersed foe may not hit as hard, but with their poisons they just needed to break the skin. Then they would drift away like smoke in the breeze and let the poison do its deadly work.

    But, as far as they knew. We were just a monstrous serpent. A creature who would be more than happy to sniff out any lone home-raft and gobble up the residents, and was perfectly capable of doing so. Lena hoped that would reverse their strategy. They would gather together. Seeking safety in numbers, and the parties they sent out to hunt us would lead us directly to them.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

    And she was right.

    Floating in the center of a large open space in the marsh was a ramshackle collection of hundreds of rafts. All sizes and styles. Tied together with ropes and narrow bridges. Small children hopped gleefully in shrieking packs from one raft to the next as grimfaced elders gathered to consider what manner of beast they were dealing with. As we watched, cloaked under a mat of grass and muddy water, more rafts were poled into the steadily growing floating city.

    Individuals with large wooden masks with horrifying visages carved on them wandered the perimeter of the raft city. Sprinkling powders into the waters and followed by cadres of goons in smaller masks armed with blowguns, poisoned darts, and short wicked spears. Pouches and small flasks of unknown liquids hung from their belts and bandoliers.

    Poisons probably.

    On the largest most central raft a group that shared a strong family resemblance were meeting and partying. Relishing in their victory over the Rottaxus brutes and unconcerned about a little snake infestation. Those must be the Fensfell family members themselves we figured.

    So Lena made her move. The water level in the area dropped sharply as high walls of ice rose to surround the lively gathering. Silence fell for a solid second before shrieks and screams of fear began ringing out. Lena guided Sibyll up the glacial palisade she had made and more pronounced shrieks of horror erupted when the poor locals noticed a giant icy blue serpent had crested their newly formed prison walls.

    As soon as her presence became known a shower of darts and javelins coated in all manner of interesting concoctions rained down upon Sibyll. We were all safe inside and cheering Lena on as she returned fire on the pesky patrols with a shattering hail of ice shards from the wall.

    Broken bodies and splintered rafts sunk into the murky waters they had been poisoning so thoroughly only moments before. More troops rushed towards us and Lena met their charge with her own. The sheer bulk of Sibyll smiting an unfortunate raft as we plunged from the wall into their midst and pelting the would be defender with poisoned water and splinters.

    She swept aside the futile efforts of the hapless soldiers and slithered towards the center raft. Creeping over the edge Sibyll was met with a blast of purple water, launched from the hands of a wrinkled old man in a massive wooden mask carved with a truly horrific face.

    As Lena paused to consider the oddness of what just transpired. The confidence leaked into elders wrinkled frame and he stood taller. Waving his arms and a great knobby staff in the air grandly more water rushed from the swamps to his hands. It turned a virulent green shade and was launched into the face of the wooden snake Sibyll.

    It''s not very effective.

    The use of what could only be described as magic was rare enough to cause us pause. For about three seconds. Then the mighty blue tail of Sibyll came crushing through the deck under him and smashed the old man in the face.

    Gently, of course.

    Sibyll opened her mouth and proceeded to gobble up the old man and the three most fancily dressed individuals on the center raft.

    After we had them tied up and stored in a seperate chamber inside SIbyll where any poisons they used would only affect themselves. We recalled the trouble we had last time we had grabbed people without knowing who was actually the leader. So we asked them who was the Head of House Fensfell. They pointed at the unconcious old man.

    Since we had what we came for, and Lena was satisfied with her fighting opportunity we headed off.

    Streaking through the swamp and past the fortified hill towns as fast as we could slither. Lena took great delight in smashing through any obstacles that arose. The odd boat or patrol. Some trees. A small hill. By the end there though she had satisfied her daily carnage quota so we just coasted lightly into Morana''s camp.

    It had grown quite a bit since we left. The original fifty-ish troops had burgeoned to three hundred or so. Fed with the produce of the Bosvarum, and shielded by the sturdy walls the Rottaxus built so well.

    The Somursa domain was the smallest of the Houses, and very sparsely populated. So three hundred men and women was a significant investment, and not one she could afford to lose lightly. When she had been all but certain that her death was imminent she had refused to throw away her peoples lives to futiley try and save her own.

    But now that she stood a real chance of winning? She pulled out all the stops. She couldn''t trust the armies of her newly subordinated lands to fight for her, but she did have drill sergeants from the Rottaxus lands training her loyal troops and Bosvarum wagons to haul supplies for her army.

    Her domain primarily dealt in beeswax and honey from their apiaries. Mead from the same, and smoked fish from the mountain lakes and streams. There were a few odd mines here and there but for the most part Morana''s lands were largely undeveloped.

    Making it the ideal place to hide a training army and gather her strength. Obviously she knew we were not going to be sticking around to protect her throne for her. So she needed a strong and more importantly loyal force to do so.

    Is my guess. Maybe she just likes hiding in the woods and training soldiers? Who knows, everyone needs a hobby.

    Anyway, she was very happy to see the Fensfell family. In a kind of morbid fashion. I guess House Rottaxus had been very incensed by the tales of the survivors of their ill fated campaign. They promised utter servitude and loyalty in return for justice. The old man we had grabbed was the one they wanted dead the most. Seems his conjured poisons had wreaked havoc on their forces.

    I don''t think that will make House Fensfell very happy, but itis a war. People are gonna die.

    Anyway, none of our business what she does. We threw a party to celebrate Lenas'' first ever solo war victory. I dragged out a bunch of those mead barrels from the pirate fortress so long ago. The off duty soldiers joined us at our invitation and we made a huge bonfire. I made Lenas favorite foods and she regaled us with her stories of battle and victory.

    They grew grander and more legendary with each retelling. From a fairly close rendition to a tale of utmost fiction, including swamp warrior riding on giant frogs. The fight with the old man became a half hour long epic involving mythical beasts and wretched plagues. Her victories became the stuff of legend. From how the drunk soldiers hung on her every word they were eating it up.

    The look on the Fensfell family members faces when they learned it was a little girl who had stomped them was priceless!

    The party ran deep into the night. Soldiers need little reason to drink, and when celebrating a victory in which none of them died? They can get pretty crazy!

    I am going to bed, Lena, Julius, and Fen are already asleep. Onica is in the middle of challenging a whole platoon to a drinking contest. I haven''t seen her let loose like this before.

    It''s nice to see she can have fun with other things than fighting.

    Goodnight.

 Clash of the brutes

    Hello again. Todays victim: The Knights of House Destrier!

    They are the best of the best of the best. Trained from childhood in the ideals of honor, integrity, justice, and the brutal and violent destruction of all those who dare violate the aforementioned tenets. They are given the best trainers, the best food, the best equipment, and the best horses available.

    They are hands down the best force on an open field in the kingdom whose name I still don''t know. I must have heard it a dozen times by now, but it just slips away from my memory like a fish from a broken net.

    No matter. It''ll come to me when its ready.

    Julius was the designated fighter for today, he woke us all up early and has been hopping with excitement all day. We traveled through the rolling hills of the Bosvarum, heading probably north, and into the flat grassy plains and sequestered hills of the Destrier lands.

    This is the single largest domain in the land. Its flat expanses cut by a handful of rivers flowing in from the, maybe, western swamplands. Perfect land for cultivating horse herds and their fodder. All the other Houses horses are purchased from the breeders in Destrier. They keep the best for themselves.

    The horses of the knights of Destrier are hardy creatures, able to forage their own food on a campaign. They can run for a solid day with appropriate pacing, and have the stamina to charge an enemy at the end of a march. This makes them a fast response force. Able to move on a moments notice with little to no supply trains, and move fast!

    They aren''t massive plow horses, but nimble and sprightly smaller breeds. Capable of breaking off a full charge within moments if necessary.

    This is a tactic used to test the readiness of defenders to hold, and to tease out any nasty tactic like hidden pikes. It also plays bloody hell with your nerves when thousands of, literal, tons of meat and metal come rushing at you only to pull away at the last moment. The strain on the nerves alone has been known to break lesser armies.

    Or so I am told.

    Julius listened to all the tales of their exploits with rapt attention. They smashed thus-and-so at the battle of who-gives-a-damn. They broke the siege of a-place and saved the citizens. On and on and on the stories roll. All ending in victory, and all against the odds. They are the defenders of the kingdom, the righteous hammer of retribution, the sword of justice, and the anvil upon which all enemies are beaten.

    And Julius was going tobreak them.

    Well, that was the plan at least. Turns out it can be pretty difficult to find an army in a large area. We searched for hours, Julius getting more and more antsy as time passed. Finally we decided it was too much work.

    So we started burning villages.

    We ushered all the people out of the village and sent them towards Morana before burning their homes and businesses. We aren''t monsters you know? They were going to be her people soon enough anyways. I figure this will give her some credibility with the peasantry. When they were forced out of house and home at the evil hands of foreign invaders she helped them and yada yada. Loyalty.

    After the fifth village of a hundred or so people we started seeing scouts. Julius was practically frothing by now. He had been anticipating this moment all day. It was already getting late in the day by that point. If the enemy didn''t show soon they''d have to fight in the dark.

    Which would kind of spoil the show.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    We settled down on a nice hill with a view. In the distance a dust cloud had appeared behind another, smaller, hill. Probably the anticipated army. Julius was literally vibrating by then. He gave a oddly high-pitched squeak and hopped into his crowned battle bunny. Flames roared to life on its hands feet and ears. Unable to stand being still any more Julius started pacing towards the dust cloud. His body moving with exaggerated slowness as he tried to stop himself from just bursting into motion and violence.

    So when the glorious vanguard of the Destrier army came prancing into sight over the smaller hill. He was understandably unable to hold back anymore. The section of hill he was stepping on erupted into so much charred dust and ash. The force of his kickoff and charge shook the hill and flames rose in his wake.

    Made me spill my drink. No matter. I have been writing todays tale anyway so its not like it spilled on me. Just fell over onto the ground next to me and summoned ants from nowhere.

    This is an opportunity to write a live combat experience! Not something to be missed!

    The knights seemed rather dumbfounded. I suppose its unusual to have their grand entrance be met with a clearly excited and hostile seven foot tall red rabbit-man hybrid. On fire, and squeaking excitedly. I hope so at least.

    I get headaches when I imagine a legion of Julius'' rampaging across the world.

    I don''t think the world could take it.

    Anyway, the knights hesitated. Understandably, and then they were running back the way they came. I imagine they wanted to regroup or something? Doesn''t matter.

    Julius saw them turn to run and his joy of battle turned into rage at unmet expectations. A squeaky roar split the air and some unfortunate souls at the rear of the retreating column had their horses collapse from the shock of it. I did warn him. The standards of these armies we have been running into is rather subpar. No matter how the locals hype them up as legendary forces of martial skill, they are just the forces of nobles in a pretty small kingdom. How elite can they be?

    We settled down to an early dinner as the sounds of carnage and terror swept over the placid hills. The beaming sun shined merrily down in seeming mockery of the troubles of us below its heavenly arc.

    It was a truly beautiful day today. Just enough sun to warm us, and just enough wind to keep us from getting too warm. The smoke from our villainous endeavors of the day caught the sun and contrasted beautifully with the big fluffy white vlouds above them.

    Lena handed me a bowl of stew we had salvaged from one of the towns, Julius and his unfortunate foes had disappeared over the small hill shortly after his rawr.

    All we can hear is smashing and squeaking followed by screams and bellows from the knights. Seems like they''re fighting back at least. Oh-ho-ho! Awesome fire twisters rise and fall in a cresting crescendo of violence. There is normally and ebb and flow to battles. But this sounds more like a waterfall upon stone. A clashing crash of unstoppable force on an unbreaking surface.

    Something has to give eventually.

    Ah, Julius just came smashing through the hill. Looks like he found someone who can give him a good time at last. Probably the giant fella with the shining plate armor and the ridiculously huge sword who just came swaggering through the dust.

    Julius is back up and he-

    WOAH! WHAT THE F-

    I don''t-

    Why?

    Wow.

    I can''t believe he did that.

    Thats too brutal man! How am I supposed to explain that to Lena! She saw everything, and you just know she''s going to want to imitate it!

    Ugh, whatever. We won, hooray.

    The big guy was the head of House Destrier it seems. After what Juluis did to him the rest of the house, including his heir, surrendered very quickly. Nice guy, a little long in the nose and prose areas but he seems likable enough. We sent them off to see Morana, they gave us their word they wouldn''t do anything funny on the way so we don''t have to escort them this time.

    It may seem odd to trust an enemy, but these guys in particular have a reputation for honor and integrity that would hurt them far more to lose than kneeling to Morana would.

    Onwards to the next one I suppose.

    Onica says she is going to teach us all how to properly hunt with the next army. Theyre the famous rangers and snipers of the Vultiaco. Sounds like fun?

    We moved away from the battlefield. Carnage always gathers nightime scavengers who it''d be a pain to ward off from our campsite, and the smell of cooked flesh and hair mixed with ruptured organs and congealing blood makes it hard to sleep peacefully.

    I made our camp look like a very small red castle this time. Towers and walls and crenellations and stuff. Lena helped design it. Little blue guards made of the Mirage patrol its short walls and a dragon made fromTyrant watches over Julius'' treasure hoard.

    Not much room left for sleeping though. Still, it was fun to make so it''s all good.

    Goodnight.

 Historical Note: Dancing in the woods, with Ranger Guyle WIles

    Have you ever chased a fox through the woods?

    If not, then let me shed some light on the activity. Foxes are clever cunning beasties, as any camper who leaves their food unwatched and in the open will soon find out. Assuming the bears don''t get there first of course.

    A fox is alert to the world around it. For to a fox, the world is dangerous. There are any number of terrible ways foolish foxes leave this world. So only the wily and wise live long. If you are going to try and catch a fox you need two things. A fox, naturally, and an idiot.

    You see, a fox isn''t going to just walk into a trap or ambush. No, they are far to clever for that.

    So when you find a fox trail, you release the idiot down it.

    The idiot will rampage down the trail, fast as can be. They will create a great ruckus and uproar, scaring the fox. The frightened fox will run from the idiot, as we all would.

    Now, while your idiot is taking the foxes attention you listen to the wise mushrooms and ignore those gossipy birch and find yoursef a place to hunker down in. The Forest willing you''ll have heard right and the fox will come dancing right up to you.

    The BOOM! Done. You caught a fox.

    Now let the poor thing go after some cuddle time, and smack your idiot with a log. Because idiots don''t know how to let go, or when to give up either. Then you settle down to a fine shroom and bean stew.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Now, about the idiot. Lots of folks use dogs. Stupid idea that. Dog will chase a fox sure, but if they''re too big then they''ll lose the fox. And if they''re too small the fox is likely to turn on them.

    And then you have to bury what''s left of your dog and cry for a week.

    Nature is cruel, doesn''t mean we have to be.

    Nah, I use humans. Slower sure, but damn can they make a racket!

    I saw this one lady, she saw a wee little snake and damn near deafened me with her shrieking hoots!

    My standard human idiot is a male, smaller is better, though I did have success with that one big fella before he found the bear cave. Never did find all of him. Anyway, out here you get basically two kinds of humans. Bosses and grunts.

    Now, you''d think the grunts would be better fox chaser idiots wouldn''t you? Nah, the foxes out here can take down your average human grunt lickety-split. They got them poison spikes on their paws, and the three inch long fangs that go through you like last weeks mystery stew.

    Burning and tearing all the way.

    Note to self: throw out last weeks mystery stew.

    So you find a boss, right? And you spin them a yarn. Mention some ancient treasure or glowing fruit or mysterious temple deeeeeeeeep in the woods. Tell them you''ll guide them there, or give them the treasure, or what have you.

    IF!!!

    They bring you a fox. Alive and intact.

    They go bonkers! Rushing out into the woods with all their little friends. You don''t even need to show them to the foxes, they do all the work themselves. And you get to reap the rewards! That fluffy fur! So damn cuddly!

    Then throw the human some shiny rock or fruit and they''ll do it all over again.

    Hereabouts you can''t throw a rock without hitting a lost temple or godly treasure tree. Most of them got very ornery critters lurking about them, but they know better than to mess with Guyle Wiles! Ranger extraordinaire!

    Not like I''ll hurt them regardless.

    Nature is cruel, doesn''t mean we have to be.

    Did I already say that?

    Meh, it bears repeating.

    Now bears!

    Thats for my next entry!

 Rainy day

    Hello again. It rained all day today.

    I hate the rain. I hate how it oppresses me. Driving my motivation and joy down into the muck it makes. It makes the sky grim and the earth surly. My fire is trapped, pushed down deep inside me when it rains.

    It feels like I am being tied down. Like then is a stone on my chest, and with every raindrop it gets heavier and heavier. Until it crushes me.

    My head aches when it rains. I smell things that aren''t there. See blurry faces looking at me from the sheets of falling water.

    I haunts me.

    I hate it.

    I can''t move as I like. I can''t make my flames dance, or a smile come to my face.

    When it rains I just want to sleep, somewhere dark and warm, until the rain goes away. Until the pain goes away. Until the faces stoplooking at me.

    *****

    Hiya Mr. Book!!! Lena here!

    I don''t get what big bro is so huffy about. Its just a little rain!

    Well, its actualy a lot of rain. Big lovely drops of happy little friends from the sky!

    I love the rain!If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    When its raining all the mister and missus froggys come out, and there are so many puddles to explore and jump into! I like to try and make the biggest splash possible. Ah! But I don''t use my ripples! That''d be cheating!

    And cheaters are never winners!

    Well, thats what big bro tells me. Big sis Onica says that you are only cheating if you''re caught!

    I found a big fat squirmy worm floating in a puddle. Poor little fella tried to go for a swim and never learned how! I put him in my pocket for safe keeping.

    This big froggy with super cool blue eyes and orange skin tried to climb me. I''m not a tree! Silly froggy.

    Big sis Onica took him off of me. She had on some cool gloves and was veeeeery gentle. I bet she didn''t want to scare mister froggy. Big sis is so nice!

    Big sis has such a beautiful smile! She shows me it whenever I bring her especially bright and colorful froggys and bugs.

    I wonder what she does with them.

    Julius is as mopey as big bro today. He doesn''t like getting his fur all wet. So I was playing with big sis and Fen all day.

    Fen likes snails. He says something about their shells being perfect spirals. They are kinda cool I guess. I wish they had more colors though.

    Fen makes really cool shapes and forms from the rain. He uses the air to guide and push the rain into whatever shape he wants. I can do the same, but where my designs are made of water, his are made from the exclusion of water. It adds a weird feeling of nuh-uh to his stuff. So its super cool.

    He likes showing off.

    Big bro and Julius have been inside the Ivers Dream all day.

    Its shaped like a woman today. But she is kneeling down and bowing her head. Her hands are covering her face, and big bro left the top and inside of her head open and hollow. So water constantly fills her head and flows from her eyes under her hands.

    She looks sad, and I don''t like it.

    Big bro was too busy pouting inside the sad lady that he forgot to lock up Mr. Book today.

    So I took you and am writing this as punishment for making the lady cry.

    Big bro knows better than that.

    Its dinner time now. So I gotta put you back.

    Bye-bye Mr. Book!

 Hide and seek, with knives

    Hello again! The rain has vanished and my headaches and grumpiness with it!

    I don''t know why rain causes me such trouble. Julius doesn''t like it but he can still use his fire when its raining. Its just less easy to burn things for him. I can''t use my fire at all! Well, except for that time when I thought julius had drowned in that storm and I melted the peak off of the pirate mountain fortress.

    But that was more like losing control than anything else. Another thing thats no fun. I may cause trouble and mayhem wherever I roam, but thats my choice damnit!

    What am I if I can''t even make my own decisions, my own choices? Even if they are bad, or ''wrong'', or even evil. They are mine. I will make them, and I will stand by them.

    Only a fool says they have no choice. There are always more paths available. They are just to weak, stupid, cowardly, or blind to see them!

    Ok! Now that I''ve worked that out of my system lets talk about the day we had today!

    The last House we have to bring to heel is the Vultioc House.

    They are both the oldest and newest of the Houses.

    Oldest, because they were here before the kingdom was ever founded.

    Newest, because they were the last to join the kingdom.

    They''ve got a lot of history, their own religion, and their own customs unique to them. They have no infastructure or industry. They make a living hunting, fishing, and gathering from the bountiful woods they call home. Young adults will sell their services as scouts or guides, and they sell quite a few bows and arrows to their neighbors. Not to the degree of calling it business, but a kind of rudimentary trade system. Goods for goods, they don''t use money at all.

    Their military is a loose collection of hunters and scouts. Peerless archers and trackers, who have a reputation for brutality and tracelessness. They stalk men like prey, and kill them from the shade of the vast trees and broad forests that cover their land.

    Supposedly, they can track the wind over solid rock. I don''t see how that is possible, so I am assuming its a sort of over the top claim to outline just how good they really are.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    As for how good they truly are, well, they aren''t a match for Onica. That much is clear.

    She handed me and Lena knives and spent the day with each member of our crew. Showing us how to notice when we are being watched, how to locate our watcher, how to give them the slip, and then how to find them. Once you find them its kind of a personal choice what you want to do to them.

    Lena did try imitating Julius...

    I don''t want to think or talk about the results.

    She only tried it once, thankfully.

    I like to club them over the head, and tie them hanging upside down to a tree branch. Like huge cocoons, or just burn them after we ran out of rope. A superheated palm to the back of the head will end all your worries real fast! When I am feeling mischievous I slowly heat up the area around them until they pass out soaked in sweat.

    It takes a while to do right. If I go to fast they just burn to ash, to slow and it takes way too long!

    Julius enjoys knocking them out and piling them up into a heap for him to sit upon majestically. We are trying to limit casualties so we do scare off more than we capture or kill. Which is fun in ts own way! I like making scary masks out of tinglewood and leaping out of the brush in a burst of flame roaring incoherently. They run so fast! Still, even with the runners we must have left four or five heaps of unconcious rangers behind us by the time we made camp.

    Very fun day!

    Fen shocks them. Right in the butt, they give a whoop and start running. Then he trips them with some wind tethers and pushes. Sends them headfirst into a tree or a rock mostly. Then he adds them to Julius'' heap of defeated foes. He does like to pose them with each other in awkward poses. I guess his old owner had some different hobbies. *Ahem*

    We have been taking all the bows and arrows we find. They''re pretty good quality I guess. They all have unique markings, so each bow is probably very special and precious to the ranger it belongs too. Maybe we can ransom the bows back? I don''t know what for. They don''t have any money. Maybe they have something shiny?

    With how the other have been loading stuff into my satchel I am starting to feel more like the mule than the leader of our little pack of monsters. How much stuff can my satchel even hold anyway?

    Meh, I guess we will find out some day.

    Onica just slits their throats and leaves them gurgling in the dirt. She has a veeeery special smile she makes when she is drawing her blade across a throat. Kind of looks like she''s hungry...

    I think a roast is a good idea for tonight. Or a hearty stew. Something meaty anyway.

    After her semi-failed experiment that we shall not discuss, Lena mostly just popped a globe of water onto the heads of our would be trackers and killers. Then she slips a sheet of ice under them and watches them dance wildly until the pass out. She even plays a tune for them on her flute!

    Its freaking adorable!

    Seriously though, we must have taken out a hundred men apiece! How many more until they run out of people?

    No sign of any gathering of people or the Head of the House today, so we will continue tomorrow.

    Since the likelikood of a night attack is super high tonights berth is shaped like a tree. Its totally the wrong color, but who is going to notice that in the dark of night? Just in case I left long thin roots splayed out in all directions. If they do find and attack us they''re gonna be hanging upside down until morning!

    Goodnight.

 Lets go already!

    Hello again. It''s been a loooong day.

    First I got woken up by Onica before the sun rose. She had been keeping watch all night. Too excited to sleep I suppose.

    Anyway, she woke me when a whole bunch of idiots, with what I hope was dirt rubbed on their faces, tried to assault the dummy tents Onica had set up outside our actual tree shaped refuge. When I had questioned the need for such a trick she gave me that hungry smile and said "Let us give them a target to gather around. So we can gut them all at once."

    Hard to argue with that smile.

    They must''ve been pretty freaked out by our antics the other day, not that I really blame them. They got as close as they dared and they fired salvo after salvo of barbed and poison daubed arrows into the three tents. Ripping them to shreds and presumably murderizing anyone inside of them.

    Then a few came closer to the (possible) carnage. Very slowly they crept up to the tattered remnants of the cheap canvas tents we had found somewhere along the way.

    I seriously don''t recall where we picked them up. Judging from the doodles drawn all over the canvas, probably by Lena, we had them for quite a while. Anyway, they were scrap now.

    So when they got close enough, and I had woken up enough to feel like doing anything, long red roots whipped out of the ground. Snagged them by their ankles and left them dangling and screaming in the air.

    I managed to net pretty much all the others in my root web. By that point we were all awake. Hard to sleep when 30-40 grown men are screaming like little girls not ten feet from your bed.

    So we had some breakfast, and watched the sunrise from the top of out ''tree''.

    Quite lovely really.

    The dark sky growing gray, then crimson and yellow hues chased with violets and magentas. Then the great firey orb breaks free of the horizon and blues wash out the grays. Leaving the joyful interplay between blue skies and white clouds.

    Would have been nicer without all the screaming though.

    I decided to leave the ''tree'' as it was. Using some greater roots as floppy floopy feet and stringing our new guests along the bare crimson branches. Like some kind of unsettling blood red tree adorned with oddly noisy fleshy fruit we wandered into the woods. Scaring the fur off of the local wildlife.

    Soon enough we drew attention. Well, the yelling and cursing men with very red faces hanging from the branches of the moving red tree does kind of draw the eye.

    A few failed ambushes and rescue attempts later we had managed to negotiate a meeting with the Vultioc House Head.

    A dignified looking elder, the Head of House Vultioc was an earnest man with a rich mane of white hair. He wore deep green robes with the tails of foxes making a mantle over his shoulders. He looked me in the eyes without a hint of fear or worry in his gaze.

    Seemed like a nice enough fella, so we offered him some lunch.

    After some fish and berries we discussed terms. We offered him complete and utter surrender, he refused. He offered us places as servants in his hall, we refused.

    Then Julius blew up a tree.

    Under the waving shadows of the new bonfire we accepted the Vultiocs full and complete surrender.

    Ugh, thats when all the work began.

    First, we had to ferry some family and the Head himself to Morana. Which took way longer than it should since I managed to get lost and we went in the exact opposite direction for two hours. After Lena took charge I sulked and drove theIvers Dream in the proper direction.

    When we got back we tried to drop off our charges, get our prize, and get out. But no, Morana somehow managed to talk us into helping ''finish the job'' as she put it. She had to gather all living House Heads, or their heirs, accept their surrender in front of the rest of their fallen frienemys, and then hold a coronation.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    All I wanted was that map we had been promised, and a long soak in some hot water. Followed by a huge meal and a long nap.

    Instead I had to wear this horrible purple monstrosity they called formal wear. It was as ugly as it was uncomfortable. Its fabric was hot and itchy and the neck dealy poked the soft flesh under my jaw mercilessly with overly starched blades of cloth.

    As the nominated victim leader of our team I was the only one who had to be present at the coronation. The others were going to the feast that was being thrown to try and smooth any ruffled feathers for the defeated soldiers. Similar parties were being held throughout the kingdom. For the commoners this was a celebration of the crowning of a new Queen, and the end of them being pressed into armies and killed. So they partied hard. The defeated soldiers drank with the victorious and swapped stories. Letting out the bad blood and allowing fresh ties to be made.

    Some people wouldn''t be satisfied or happy. But then, some people are never happy. Not our problem anyway.

    Meanwhile, in the capital city, whose name I had never gotten, of the kingdom, whose name I cannot freaking remember, there was a different kind of party going on.

    In the palace ballroom men and woman with stiff backs and skyward noses sashayed about. Possibly to the beat of the squealing shrieking band in the corner. More likely to whatever melody they imagined the sweating amatuers were attempting to murder so zealously.

    A small table held a heavily liquored bowl of punch and a platter of tiny and tastless canapes. Not exactly the dinner I had hoped for. I snuck off to a shadowed corner and snuck some roasted fish and cool water from my satchel. Which I had stashed under the uncomfortable jacket I had been shoehorned into.

    Midway through my clandestine dinner a series of trumpet blasts echoed off into the night, announcing the approach of the soon to be queen. Morana walked into the ballroom. Wearing a simple and comfortable looking purple dress. She still looked more like a baker or sleepy librarian than a queen. That image of unregality was smashed into dust when the finey dressed and coiffed Heads of the other houses and their families all knelt before her. Her simple outfit suddenly seemed like understated elegance. Her calm sleepy eyes the cool gaze of an experienced executioner sizing up the neck of their newest charge as she ran it across her new subordinates.

    At that point she led the glamorous procession into the throne room. A man in overlarge ivory robes lifted a simple circlet with seven beautiful gems in the color of the rainbow from a satin pillow and knelt before her. Offering her the crown. The Heads and heirs stepped forward from the crowd. They formed a semicircle behind Morana Somursa and knelt as she lifted the crown and placed it on her own head.

    A symbol of conquest rather than bestowment. Only kings and queens who won their kingdom in conflict could place the crown on their own head.

    As she turned around her round visage and sleepy eyes became something more. Her curves became graceful and grand. Her sleepy gaze charged with power and possibilty. All bowed deeper as she cast her eyes on them. The proudly kneeling nobels became subservient, the would-be kings became servile. All knelt before their Queen!

    Well, except me of course. I was still standing off to one side and behind Morana, silently watching as our bargain was completed.

    I could feel the eyes of some of the kneeling nobles focus on me in my place near the throne. More and more gazes converged on me as the angry eyes of the subservient demanded I join them.

    Thats when it happened.

    I got the hiccups. Probably from when I got surprised by the trumpets and stuffed the rest of the fish down my throat followed by chugging cold water to force it down.

    My body jerked straight and a *hiccup* burst from my lips.

    The sudden movement and sound from me caught the glaring nobles so off guard that most flinched and shifted their gaze from me. Especially the Bosvarum and Vultioc. They had suffered the most from me personally. The fat Bosvarum Head paled and trembled, and the aged Vultioc Head narrowed his hard gaze and looked at the ground.

    Some more hiccups later and finally it came time to get my reward for bringing a Queen her crown.

    She handed over a old weathered piece of folded leather. Inside was a tattered piece of parchment that looked like the doodling of a blind madman.

    I accepted it and skedaddled.

    I couldn''t make heads nor tails of it but Lena Fen, and Onica huddled around it and started talking in eldritch terms about longitudes and tradewinds and other stuff I don''t know how to spell.

    A few minutes into that mess and I decided to put some distance between us and our former employer. Just in case she was less keen about keeping her end of the deal now that she was a high and mighty royal.

    So while they pondered the messy map I molded theIvers Dream into a massive red carriage with huge firey wheels. I rocketed some fire out of the back and soon we were zipping off into the countryside.

    I had never driven a carriage before, and the sun had already sunk below the horizon leaving the world dark without its rays. So I think I did pretty well all things considered.

    I only crashed into four trees, five boulders, one cliff, and I only flipped the carriage five times.

    By that point it was long into the night so I finally decided to let my complaining friends sleep in peace. So I broke out my trusty journal and wrote todays events. The day will be over. Right after I drive us off this cliff and into the river at the bottom of it.

    That seems like a good idea, this way we keep moving all night!

    Thats smarts right there!

    We might have been having some fun but I am ready to get out of here. I don''t like sitting still this long, that time in Papil nearly drove me mad.

    So onwards! Into the lovely unknown and away from everything we understand!

    TO ADVENTURE!!!

    Goodnight.

 On a scale of one to ten, how lost are you

    Hello again. So, I guess its hard to navigate when you don''t know where you are?

    Landmarks, or old cities. Large currents of air and water. The alignment of the stars.

    Apparently there are all kinds of ways to figure out where you are relative to your destination.

    None of which work if you jump into a river, fall asleep, and then get pulled into the bowels of a mountain as the river decides to go subterranean. We woke up drifting lazily in a huge lake in the eternal twilight beneath the world. Pale blind fish splashing dolorously and dimly glowing slime molds greeted us instead of the cheerfully chirping of birds and warming rays of the sun.

    While we were falling into the river late last night I had reformed the Ivers Dream into a simple sphere, allowing us to bob downstream and letting the current take us wherever it so desired. Like deep underground.

    Whoops...

    "Hm, well. What''s done is done. Who wants breakfast?" My feeble attempt to ward off calamity only drew it down on me all the faster.

    Tickle torture isn''t funny! I nearly died from suffocation since I was laughing too hard to breathe!

    My hysterical shrieks of hilarity woke up something as it put my friends resentment to rest.

    A great bulbous dome broke the still surface of the dark water. Hundreds of flailing feathery limbs propelled a huge fat white worm with a gaping toothy maw through the water and towards the bobbing Ivers Dream. It seemed to want to either ram us, or eat us whole.

    I bet it didn''t expect to impale itself on a spear of ice anchored to a shiny new iceberg, and then burst into flames.

    Its flailing and squealing threw waves of water and sound throughout the cavern we found ourselves floating in. Dozens more giant corpse pale maw-worms rose to the surface and started thrashing the water. With some help from Lenas guidance and Julius'' rocket skills we deftly navigated the freshly stormy waters. Onica clung to the deck of the ship and Fen zipped to the front of it. He fired bolts of lightning into the troubled waters. My hair rose as sparks arced between the crests of the waves, and maw-worms popped into so much red froth and unidentifiable bobbing bits.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

    Skirting the twitching horde we headed for a dark hole in the wall that we hoped might lead us back under the sky.

    It didn''t.

    Time passed, probably. It''s hard to really tell time with no sun.

    We traveled through the blackest of waters. Rejecting all light and filled with peculiar montrous varieties of fish and bugs. It was hard to tell, but I felt like we were only going deeper into the depths of the earth.

    At one point we entered a low but wide cavern, and it started to rain. The susurrus of a gentle rainfall drifted comfortably into our ears and the light at the prow of the Ivers Dream was muted by the curtain of falling water.

    Just within sight above us a dazziling array of stalactites jutted from the low ceiling. Water dripping constantly from their tips and their fanglike protrustions ringed in dim but dazzling swirls of multi-colored slimes and molds. Making it appear as if there was an aurora hanging just overhead in a drizzle.

    Beautiful.

    We drifted slowly and silently through this wonderous place. Enjoying the uniqueness of our environs.

    There were a few hazards. Sometimes pockets of air would explode when our guiding torch hit them. Throwing us to the deck in a blast of fire and noise. Luckily enough, Fen managed to put up a weird air barrier around Onica and Lena, and Julius'' and I are very hard to burn or explode. Still, after the first three Fen was assigned the important duty of keeping us from exploding anymore.

    It stopped being fun after the second time.

    Eventually we got hungry, so we ate. The fish around here may look creepy, but they taste very good.

    We continued. Passing through lands unknown. The weight of the shadows began to grow on my mind. The semi-gloom cut only by our own fires and the dim glowing gunk on the wall. In a fit of hatred at the silent repressive darkness I sent streamers of fire circling around us, and my old friend the winged lady of fire appeared overhead.

    Her wings opened wide and beat at distant winds. She burned as bright as I could manage. With my new form of tingles she lasted much longer than ever before this time. Lifting the darkness, and showing us the world around us.

    Streams of shining metal wormed through the walls on the sides of the passage the river had cut through the stone around us. Golds and blacks and silvers streaking wildly like frozen ligtning through the cold gray stone. With the new light we traveled much faster. We had been holding back. The unknowable darkness before us subconciously slowing us with fear and trepidation.

    Trepidation is like fear, but longer.

    Finally we became tired.

    And so now we prepare to sleep. I have anchored the Ivers Dream onto the wall above the water with deeply lodged barbed roots in the stone. We are suspended above the dark water, and any creepy crawlies that might feel adventurous, like the red coccoon of a monstrous butterfly...

    I wonder if there are giant butterflies in the world? If there are, do they still live off of flowers? Are there giant flowers where they live, or do the butterflies eat something else?

    Giant carnivorous butterflies.

    *Shudder*

    Nope. Nope. Nope.

    If there are then I am burning them into ash and thats the end of it.

    Do butterflies burn well?

    So many questions!

    Goodnight.

 Tension rises

    Hello again. Things are not going great.

    We have plenty of food and fresh water. I have stretched the Ivers Dream as thin as I can to allow everyone as much space as possible. Julius and Lena even left altogether, following us in their own tinglewood craft.

    And yet things look grim. The darkness weighs down on us. Invisible claws scraping at our sanity. The narrow tunnels press in on our minds. Relieved only by the odd cavern that simply underlines the oppressive dark with its deeper shadows. Then it''s just another mind crushing corridor of dark rock and water.

    We managed to stay pretty civil to one another yesterday. Tickle torture nonwithstanding. But today everyone is tense and stressed. Like an overdrawn bow. If we don''t find some kind of release soon then the only question is whether the limbs or the string will snap first. If one of us snaps then the others are bound to go off in a cascading storm of flying splinters and whipping string...

    Nobody would get out of that unscathed.

    We all are dealing with the stress differently.

    Julius sits aboard the Tyrant. Calmly counting out his loot and relaxing amidst his hoard.

    He is taking this the best out of all of us by far. I wonder if it has anything to do with rabbits living in burrows normally? I''ve never seen him dig before, so I just assumed he didn''t like being underground. Maybe it''s the dirt he doesn''t like?

    The only sign he is stressed at all is his ears. They are constantly swiveling and twitching. It''s cute, but worrying. Normally when he is with his loot he is focused totally on his shiny treasures. But today he is absentminded, unfocused, listening for something.

    The wind if I had to guess. The air here is dead still. Any wind at all would be a welcome herald of open skys and the bright sun.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    I miss them both so much already.

    Lena is being uncharacteristically quiet and still.

    She lies on Sibyll the snake and has been dozing and napping all day. She didn''t eat lunch. She doesn''t doodle or bother me to play with her. She hasn''t even tried catching anymore gross white eyeless frogs since yesterday.

    I am worried about her.

    But what can I even do? Any attempt I make to draw her out of her funk only seems to push her deeper into it...

    Maybe if I give her some distance she will come out of it on her own? I hate not doing anything to help her, but sometimes we can only help ourselves.

    As for Fen... where is Fen?

    Come to think of it, I haven''t seen him all day.

    I hope he isn''t planning anything ''funny''. Hats have an odd sense of humor. I think, the one talking hat I know certainly does at least. He seems to enjoy physical humor the most. As someone without legs, arms, eyes, or y''know, anything really.

    It vastly amuses him to see these appendages backfire. He likes tripping, zapping, blinding (temporarily), deafening (also temporarily), and causing sneezing fits wth a wind guided cloud of pepper. I have no idea where he got, or where he hides, his pepper.

    Please, let him just be hatting somewhere quietly. If he tries to ''lighten the mood'' right now he is bound to make the whole thing explode.

    Onica is having the worst of it. She is stomping pacing back and forth the Ivers Dream. Any attempt to converse is met with a literal snarl and a glare. Her tail is lashing the air and her ears are laid flat against her skull.

    I may not be a genius at reading body language, but calling her agitated is like calling a lion a big cat. While it might be true, it doesn''t really carry the right weight.

    She only stops to obsessively sharpen her already razor edged thin knives, and grind out some unsavory looking pastes and powders from her poison kit.

    I just try to stay out of her way. I try to make a habit out of not catching any knives with my face. I have enough scars already.

    As for me, I am coping by trying to juggle fireballs. It''s a good distraction, keeps me focused on something other the steadily brewing storm that is growing on the horizon.

    The flashing lights and occasional explosion seem to bother the others.

    Hmph, so what? If they want to be irritated and annoyed, then far be it from me to stand in their way!

    ...Ugh. Yeah, that attitude probably isn''t helping.

    Another day over, another day in the dark.

    Please, let us be close to the outside. I''m not sure how long we have before we are at each others throats.

    Goodnight.

 The trouble with hats is they get a very high opinion of themselves, cause they are always on top

    Hello again. Everything is awful.

    Other than that, things are good.

    I have absolutely no evidence to back this up, but I think Fen was responsible.

    Who else would set up such an elaborate prank? While we were sleeping someone snuck several pieces of Julius'' hoard out from under his sleeping form, and stashed them in our slumbering arms. Fen himself was resting upon a particularily shiny silver bowl.

    I can only assume he was playing the victim to hide his culpability.

    If that was it than maybe it would have been fine, but Lenas long hair, unbraided and brushed before bed, was tied to a half dozen bowls filled with either feathers, sticky glowing goo from the walls, itching powder, or pepper.

    Where did he even get feathers?! Or itching powder fo that matter?

    And then there was Onica. An elaborate series of ropes had been arrayed around her, tied very gently to her limbs and connected to a series of crude bells and other various noise makers. Hard to identify them now that they''ve been reduced to shreds and scraps.

    As for me. A rope had been tied around my left ankle, and tied to a catapult. Yes, a catapult. So many questions! Another rope connected Lenas hair to the trigger for the catapult.

    It all went off, when Julius woke up. He always wakes up first, don''t know how or why.

    Anyway, he wakes up, and immediately notices he is missing some treasures. His search is as frantic as it is short. Finding his friends cuddling with his preciouses drove him into a frothy fury. Exhibitedin a furious firey bolt of crimson fur crashing into us. Kicking up a fuss and uproar, as well as just kicking us.

    Which caused all hell to break loose.

    Onica shot up first. Blocking and dodging the kicks with a grace and cooleness that evaporated like dew in the desert when the ringing and clattering of the noisemakers tied to her cause her sleep addled mind to panic. she shot away, trying to escape and get some space in a crescendo of clashing wood and metal.

    Lena jerked out of a sound sleep and shot to her feet, just in time to get a Julius kick in the tummy. She flew, causing a deluge of feathers, sticky glowing goo, itching powder, and pepper to fill the air. Onica was still bolting wildly, bouncing off the ceiling and walls in the cabin we all slept in, throwing the detritus in all directions and triggering a sneezing coughing, scratching fit for us all.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    When Lena had gone fly she had triggered the catapult. Which grabbed me by the foot and launched me into the air. Surprised and sleep addled myself I do what I do anytime I get shocked. I burst into flame.

    Didn''t work out well this time.

    My flames hit the dust in the air about the same time my flying body hit the panicked Onica. The mixed dust ignites in an explosion, and the smell of burning feathers and hair fills the air along a burning itching smoke. Breathing moved from difficult to impossible as the choking cloud of irritant smoke filled the cabin.

    We were all blinded, sneezing, coughing, and covered in multicolored gunk and feathers. Except Fen, he just had the feathers and gunk.

    Onica was busily pounding her fists into my face when we hit the floor and fell on top of the more pissed than ever Julius. Who was not amused. He sends us both, Onica now clawing me in the neck, flying once again in a blast of fire. We hit the very dirty clump of smouldering feathers that is Fen, and become intimately familiar with the sensation of heavens wrath. Or lightning, whichever.

    Then Fen blew the smoke out of the cabin. At last we could all see blurrily through tearing eyes, and breathe through rasping itchy throats.

    One heck of a wake up I''ll tell ya.

    End result: I am bleeding from every hole in my face. I have a bruised everything, and am covered in feathers and gunk. My foot was dislocated by the catapult, and I have new scars on my neck courtesy on Onica.

    Julius is filthy and hopping mad. He came out alright because he is a very small target.

    Lena, poor Lena, had her precious hair burnt when the powder trapped in her locks ignited. Onica trimmed the burnt edges as best as she could, but she is no barber and our little lamb is pretty much shorn.

    Onica is a bit burnt, nothing we couldn''t heal, thankfully. Her pride is badly bruised, but I am sure it''ll make a full recovery.

    Fen is fine. A bit dusty, but the real damage is that everyone is giving him the stink eye. He still says he didn''t do it...

    I want to believe him, but who else would have?

    Still, no proof. So I will just consider this a badly planned, overly elaborate practical joke. The real bad part is he is lying about not doing it. Trust and honesty is of the utmost importance in a group like ours. And right now I don''t trust him to be honest.

    With that setting the tone of the day it''s no wonder things went so badly for the rest of it.

    Everyone was nursing battered feelings all day. Conversation was stilted and unpleasant. Lena pretty much just locked herself inside her Mirage all day. I couldn''t even lure her out with her favorite foods for dinner. Onica is even touchier than usual. I tried to make a joke about scaredy-cats...

    If looks could kill, I would have been locked up for forty years, beaten, starved, blinded, tortured, and then drawn and quartered. It was that kind of look.

    Julius has reclaimed his treasures and has been polishing them and glaring at us since this morning. Rabbits have a very cold glare.

    Fen has spent the whole day trying to convince someone that he didn''t do it. By lunch everyone was pretty much sick of it, and we have been ignoring him since then.

    I feel bad, but he really needs to learn better, and I don''t know what to do to punish a hat.

    So I am going with the punishment for a brat. Ignore and then ignore some more. Brats thrive off of attention.

    It has been a very long day. Still no fresh air or signs of an exit.

    I am so sick of the same boring thing day after day! Sure, some of the caves are beautiful, and the tunnels do have wonderful, if subtle, color variations. But for some reason I am unable to enjoy myself as I normally do.

    Something about this place just kind of... sucks.

    Goodnight.

 Mad Hat

    Hello again. So, Fen has been acting pretty weird.

    I worry that our ignoration campaign has been way too successful. He tried to get us to listen to him for hours. Then he spent the next few hatting in a corner, muttering to himself.

    Like, crazy mutterings. Stuff like: "... show them... I''ll show them all! ...dare they! What makes... going to drive a stake up... MAKE THEM PAY!!! ... regret... Show what... hat can do!"

    Stuff like that. For hours. Just, worrying y''know?

    Whats more, he has been talking to, and glaring at, the walls and air. I know what you''re thinking. ''How can a hat glare?'' Well it is more aggressive hat body language in the general vicinity of the walls and air. A certain kind of quiet menace exuding from his felty form.

    Kind of hard to describe as anything other than a glare really.

    Lena is also worrying.

    She finally emerged from her shelter. Her once proud flowing blue river of hair now reduced to a scruffy mishmash of lengths varying in length from a few inches to stubble clinging despondently to her scalp. She let Onica trim it all to one length and now she has a blue fuzz on her head.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    I think it looks cute, really brings out her sharp features and bright eyes, and it reminds me of the fluffy fuzzy fur of a puppy. A blue puppy.

    But when I told her that she burst into tears and fled back into her refuge.

    What did I do?

    Onica gave me a glare and went after her, eventually being allowed entry into her sanctum. They''ve been in there ever since. They even ate dinner in there.

    Girls are weird.

    Julius is still miffed and/or incredibly pissed off.

    I thought it was just because he had some of his stuff snuck from under him without him waking up, but it turns out he is still missing some of his loot. Some coins, a shiny bowl, and the golden shiny beard from ole Bob Flintspine are all missing. He refuses to leave his hoard to look for them, afraid someone will take the opportunity to sneak out some more of his preciouses.

    So he is sitting on his hoard, counting his coins, and quietly smouldering. Waiting for a chance to explode in a firey flurry of fearsome vengeance!

    He also ate dinner on his hoard. So it was just me and the muttering Fen for dinner at the usual place.

    He absentmindedly electrocuted some food into charcoal, thanked me for the meal, and went back to his corner.

    So I ate all alone.

    Lena and Onica wouldn''t let me in their little bunker, and Julius wouldn''t let me loiter near his loot.

    *Sigh* I miss my friends.

    They are right next to me, but they are all a million miles away.

    Its somehow lonelier being alone in a group.

    I hope something changes soon, because at this rate we won''t be able to function as a group for much longer. Trust is one of those things that is both remarkably resilient, and terribly fragile. Kind of like a human skull.

    Unlike a human skull, it can be repaired when smashed to smithereens. I think.

    I hope.

    Goodnight.

 Uninvited guests

    <hr>

    Hello again. Today started off with a bang.

    Literally.

    I was woken up by a muffled explosion. Like someone had stuffed a lightning bolt into a feather mattress. Fittingly, this sound was followed shortly by the fowl smell of burning feathers. Along with another series of bangs.

    Scrambling outside I saw a bizzare sight.

    Owls. Dozens of small owls flitting and soaring silently through the still air inside the tunnels. There in their midst flew Fen, cackling and crackling with hysteric laughter and lightning as he buzzed through the bewildered birds.

    I froze for a few seconds. Caught completely off guard by the bizarre sight before me. Until a scorched owl crashed into my face, sending me back down the stairs into the bowels of our camp for the night.

    Which is where I noticed that these owls were not as owlish as I had originally though. Small though they were they actual had three sets of limbs. Sturdy talons and pounces for legs, broad feathered wings, and small sinewy arms tucked into their chest plumage.

    Simple clothes made of fish skin and molted feathers wrapped around what I guess you could call hips? Bound by thin cords of rope.

    Oddest owl I have ever seen.

    Julius hopped past me as I was examining the strange fowl and upon looking at the skirmish going on outside he blew up. Exploding into the air with a highpitched squeal of unmatched fury. Julius crashed into one of the largest odd-owls above. This one had a golden sash wrapped around its chest. Made from Bobs beard.

    I guess we had found the culprits behind the prank.

    Lena and Onica had just been watching quietly, but like me they noticed the dwarf beard sash. Putting two and two together and getting pissed off. They joined the fight.

    Serpents of water launched from the river below, smashing holes into the odd-owl horde. More and more kept arriving, reinforcing their allies and falling to the slaughter. Onica was largely ineffectual, unable to fly and lacking ranged weapons she watched, tail lashing furiously, as the fiends that made a fool of her flew overhead.

    That is, until she asked Lena to make her some ice javelins.

    Shortly after that, skewered owls fell by the dozens. She never missed as far as I could tell. Nailing the odd-owls in their erratic flights, often hitting three or more in a single throw.

    I was content to watch my friends get their much needed release and catharsis after a very stressful few days. So I simply torched any odd-owls that looked like they might be running away. Or when I got bored.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Feathers filled the air as the waters below us became choked with corpses. Pale eyeless fish dragged them underwater, more and more gathering to the impromptu feast. One particularily large specimen, I named it Spot, would swallow up a dozen or so at a time.

    The odd-owls finally ceased running into the fire. The few who escaped led us directly to their home. Which we wrecked. I kinda feel bad about our track record for peaceful interactions with other peoples homes.

    Their home was a scratched out depression in the side of a large cave. Nests of feathers and bones held all the loot the odd-owls thought worth taking. Mostly raw ores and shiny fish scales.

    Julius got his loot back, plus a giant nest full of raw gold nuggets. He melted them down and with some help from Lena and me managed to get them to form rough blocks of gold. He has used them as the base upon which he rests the remainder of his hoard.

    Lifting up his loot at the same time as making a statement about where mere gold belongs in his hoard.

    Lena made a beautiful feather headress, hiding her shorn head and decorating herself with the remains of her fallen enemies at the same time. She and Onica made some dyes and spent several hours coloring the largest most perfect feathers we could find. Arranging them from dark blues and purples at the tips to bright yellows and greens in the middle with vibrant reds and oranges at the bases.

    Of course, since this is Onicas dye job, all the colors are derived from deadly and rare poisons.

    Making her headress both very colorful, and very poisonous. If she is ever in danger, and for whatever reason can''t use her water tingles to get out of it. Then she can prick her foe with a feather quill, and it''ll be a race to see which poison kills them first. Second most dangerous piece of headwear I have ever seen.

    Fen is the first most dangerous piece of headwear I have ever seen.

    Redeemed and loaded full of sincere apologies from all of us for thinking him the prankster, Fen has been gloating all day. It''s annoying, but he has more than earned the right to a little gloating.

    I don''t know why the odd-owls were pranking and robbing us, but if not for him I wonder if we would have ever noticed?

    We would have continued to blame one another and eventually probably would have had a falling out. Possibly even fought to the death. So I for one, am more than willing to let the little feller gloat.

    Other than that, lets see, Lena made a bunch of huge beds out of the odd-owl down. They are super soft and comfy.

    Onica is much more relaxed now that she has brutally murdered those responsible for her freakout.

    Julius is almost, wait, no, is literally aglow with pleasure about his new treasure.

    Fen is happy, and gloaty.

    And we had dinner as a group today! A feeling of forgiveness and ruefulness over our behavior settled down any ruffled feathers and soon we were retelling our favorite kills from this mornings scrum.

    Mine was when Julius rode the back of a burning odd-owl into a flock of its friends and detonated with such force it turned them all into so much ash.

    Lena preffered the time Onica managed to get so many odd-owls on a single javelin that when it hit the last one in its trajectory it just bounced off, and hit Fen on the way down. Exploding into feathers, ice shards, and electricity as the surprised hat panicked.

    Onica herself like the time Fen used the air itself to force a bunch of odd-owls to crash into one another and fall directly into Spots mouth.

    Julius just seemed to like every moment equally.

    It has been a good day.

    We had persecuted an innocent hat, and been dealing poorly with a lot of stress. Today we cleared the air, and relaxed with some light carnage.

    I have high hopes of tomorrow. I have a feeling we are close to getting out of these gloomy tunnels!

    Goodnight.

 Thunderbolt

    Hey. Ugh, make it STOP!!!

    We ha- ugh, scuse me I gotta go puke.

    Here''s Julius.

    *****

    We destroyed the thieves. More came. We destroyed them. Then a big thief came.

    The big thief had shining wings. Now I have shining wings.

    Then we entered a place. The place is spinning.

    Food-giver has fallen down, and is regretting breakfast.

    ******

    Indeed, I am.

    Well, Julius kind of glossed over the day.

    I am gonna go curl up in the corner, maybe Fen can elucidate...

    *****

    Salutations! It is I the wonderous Fen!

    Finder of sneaks and destroyer of gods!

    As Julius mentioned we had another run in with those dastardly winged brigands. Flocks of them came from all directions. Which, since we were in a tunnel, means from the front and the back.

    Obviously.

    He also, briefly, mentioned the existence of Refesrion, god of dark winds. Or as he called him ''big thief''. Refesrion appears to be a totem or statue. Its body carved from stone and inscribed with the curious swirling script of these ''odd-owls''. Its wings are made entirely of gold and other precious materials, hammered flat and layered in a brilliant array of gleaming bladelike feathers.

    This appears to reflect the relative importance the odd-owl culture places on their wings. It would be fascinating to study them further, sadly, they crossed us. And the fate of our foes is a well known one.

    Refesrion trully appears to be an effigy given life and a mild divinity. The Wearers, as I have taken to calling the self-styled leader of our little group, and Julius'' fire proved ineffectual against a being of stone and metal.

    Interestingly enough, even the metals that should have been melted, or at least warped among the gods panoply of feathers were unscathed from the truly intense heat.

    Unprepared for anything to come out intact from our brethrens barrage we were caught offguard by the arrival of Refesrion. It dashed Onica against the wall, effectively removing her from the fight. Lena swatted it away with a flow of water, but was more invested in helping her big sister not die from her brand new massive wounds. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    While she was healing Onica, both Wearer and Julius engaged the god. In a fit of wrath Wearer combusted with such force that I saw the incoming waves of odd-owls disintegrate. Still, Julius had better luck slowing the colossus. He was inside his favored battle garb, and was focusing a blurring barrage of brutal punches and kicks directly into the gods midriff.

    Cracks began to become evident on its previously unmarred form, and it seemed to grow irate at such treatment.

    The previously silent deity opened its maw, and bellowed.

    "You DARE!!! Make way, peon, for Refesrion! God of Dark Winds, and you''re des-"

    I, of course, had not been idle whilst all this was going on. I corraled my streams into two opposite clouds, one highly energized and roiling, the other still and thirsty. Like land that has been in a drought for decades, desperate for the rain. They were formed upon either side of Refesrions head. I do not recall having ever seperated that mass of energy ever before.

    Well, the results speak for themselves. Upon releasing my hold over the streams the clouds rushed towards each other, seeking balance. Such was their haste that the very air between them ignited in a series of branching veins. The heat inside these veins was unmatched by anything else on earth. Not even the Wearer on his best day can outdo...

    A THUNDERBOLT!!!

    Which I am thankful for. If he could match such a temperature for longer than the brief instant that I can create it. Well, I do not know if the world could survive such an event.

    Ah, I''ve digressed. The gods head was riddled with the superheated air, and then rapidly cooled back towards the ambient temperature, the concussive blast of sound and light cutting it off mid speech. The sudden series of shifts and forces proved to be too much for the puny god, and it crumbled into so much rubble.

    Julius snatched its wings before anything else, stashing them in his ''top secret hiding place''. Lena managed to patch up Onica, and they were both very much in need of an emotional and physical outlet.

    And so once again, the odd-owl population paid the price for our sanity.

    I will not go into detail. Suffice it to say that we will be having no more troubles with the remnants of the odd-owls.

    Later, we reached the source of the Wearers discomfort.

    A midsized cavern. Nothing of note about it beyond its status as a confluence of waterways. I count six seperate currents, all rushing into this single cavern. Now, normally there would be a small scrum as the different currents fought each other to find an exit. This is indeed the case.

    Here, it has found an unusual exit. A hole in the floor, approximately in the center of the cavern. I cannot actually see it, but Lena assures me it is there. So, all the water here is flowing together into a mad dash inwards and down.

    Creating what I believe is called a ''whirlpool''.

    Smaller currents caught in the mains force make numerous smaller whirlpools circling the main one. We have been bouncing from one to the other for hours. Ever nearing the middle, and its promise of the abyss.

    The Wearer is not handling the spinning well. To put it mildly.

    I fear we shall hit the center shortly. So I must finish my entry here. Wouldn''t want to lose this journal to the waves. The Wearer would give me another dose of his, purple eyes...

    *shudder*

    *****

    Urp, there you have it.

    I think, I am not up to reading right now.

    We are all going to be sealing ourselves into a sphere now. Fen and Lena can work together to bring us fresh breathable air, somehow, and we have plenty of fo-*puke*-ood and drink.

    Into the dark we go.

    Goodnight.

 Shit

    Hello again. I am all alone.

    Again.

    I passed out as soon as we went underwater.

    Woke up on a beach. Caught in a tangle of driftwood and seaweed. Most of my bones were broken, I had a three foot long splinter of the tinglewood shell we had been inside punched clean through my chest. My right lung to be specific. A good chunk of my left thigh appeared to have been bitten off at some point. I puked up half the ocean, and had a little cry.

    My satchel was still on me. Great thanks for small blessings.

    But that was it, besides some ragged clothes.

    Ok.

    Ok.

    Don''t freak out me. You have been in worse spots before. I think. Can''t really recall one right now.

    Anyway, focus. Priorities.

    Food, water, shelter. Get these, then worry about the rest.

    Go and do, me.

    *****

    I am an asshole.

    Didn''t even give myself time to have a nice little freak out before putting me to work.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    I have food, my satchel was uncompromised, plenty of food in there. There are also lot of birds, fishes, and fruits on the sunny and beautiful mountainous and uninhabited island I have washed up on.

    I found three different springs, all becoming beautiful crystal clear streams full of happy tasty fish that lead to a gorgeous waterfall into a secluded lagoon. Plenty of fresh water from them. I also still have a bit of rum.

    I found a very nice roomy cave. Soft sandy floor, and there are even alcoves with thick soft moss for a bed. It is near the peak of the entire island, and offers a breathtaking view of the sunset. A lovely shelter after I evicted its former tenants and then invited them to dinner.

    I hate it so much.

    Everything hear is so happy, so perfect. It feels wrong to be sad and worried amongst all this beauty and wonder.

    Stupid island. Making me feel good when I should be in the throes of despair.

    The birds and fish and fruit are all rather tasty. Take that happy forest creatures and plants, you are all delicious!

    I feel terrible enjoying food when my friends could all be in mortal peril or even dead. NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! Think positive damn me! I am positive they are all fine. I am positive they are all healthy. I am positive I am boned.

    How in the world am I supposed to find four people in an entire ocean!? I have literally no idea where to start. The best plan I could come up with was wait until night, then shoot a pillar of fire as high as possible. Hoping they will see it and come find me.

    That is a pretty passive plan. And I hate it.

    I HATE EVERYTHING!!!

    WHY DOES THIS SHIT KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?

    WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!

    Oh, look at that bird. It has the most brilliant plumage I have ever seen.

    SCREW YOU BEAUTIFUL BIRD!

    HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME STOP RAGING FOR A SPLIT SECOND!!!

    I NEED THIS AS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE!!!

    DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!!!

    *Whew* Ok, got that out of my system.

    For now.

    I need to sleep. I''ll do the fire pillar beacon plan, then try to rest.

    I am sure everything will seem better in the morning.

    Even if it is not.

    Goodnight.

 Begin again

    Hello again. It''s weird being alone all of the sudden.

    I miss my friends. Julius'' warm presence and calm facade. Lenas infectious giggling and constant questions I don''t know the answer to. Onicas comforting aura of competence and reactions to my antics. The contrast betwen Fens adult vocabulary and childish pranks.

    But, at the same time. I feel more like Me then I have for a long time. I guess, when you get so used to being around others, they can kind of shape you.

    I was the leader. I had to care for them. Make sure they were happy, healthy, and fed. Keep them from fighting with one another. I always had to think of ''we'' before ''me''.

    Now that they are gone missing. Well, I only have to think of myself.

    This morning I took a piss off of a cliff. Liberating.

    I still want to find them. Make no mistake about that. But I just never noticed how much time and energy I spent on my friends.

    With all the extra time and energy I had today I got a lot done.

    Besides, y''know, urinating from on high.

    I have decided. I am not suited for sitting and waiting. So I am going to go find them. To find my most precious people.

    That being said. I am not just running off wildly in a randomly selected direction.

    I am preparing before I run off wildly in a randomly selected direction.

    I am stockpiling food and fresh water. I am using some empty rum casks to hold the water, so it kind of has a rummy aftertaste. Which isn''t a bad thing.

    I tried a few different ways of moving around. I could fly sure, and probably will mostly. But it is always nice to have a plan B. So I took that splinter of tinglewood and tried making it into a very tiny boat. It''s more of a plank really. I first made it into a very tiny boat, with the special shape that lets them float. Then I formed a triangle shaped notch into the back third on the bottom of the boat. Water flows into the gap, then I super heat it. It expands towards the broad base of the triangle. Which ends at the rear of the tiny craft. Causing steam to come blasting out the back and propelling it forward at speed.

    I fell into the ocean a few times while testing it. Which is where I learned something bad.

    I am really weak when I am underwater.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Unnaturally so. When I am completely submerged it feels like I am trapped in lead. I can barely move my arms and legs. To make matters worse, I cannot use my tingles. The first time I fell in I nearly drowned. Thankfully I was really close to shore. A wave picked me up and dropped me back on the beach.

    I vomited up the other half of the ocean I missed last time.

    After that I made sure I was holding a buoyant piece of wood when I was testing out my steam-jet-plank.

    I think that must have been what happened to me when we went into the whirlpool. I was submerged. And as odd as it sounds, my tingles shackled me. There has been a qualitative change to my tingles since I made that core and nexus.

    My flames burn hotter, and faster. Moving so fluidly to my desires and with such nimbleness that I barely have to think before things that would have taken all my concentration before are easily done. The speed and sensitivity threw me for a while, but soon enough I adapted.

    Healing changed too. Before I felt my tingles scouring and cleaning the wound before feeding into my flesh and making my body regenerate and heal insanely quickly. But when I went to heal the massive chunk that had been bitten out of my thigh yesterday it was completely different. My wound filled with fire. Then the fire became my flesh.

    I seem to be more fire than man nowadays. I suppose it was to much to hope that I would get the strengths of fire and none of its weaknesses.

    Like being completely suppressed by water. As long as some of me is above water it is fine. But when I go underwater. My tingles freeze, and since they are wound tightly around every single bone and muscle in my body I basically become a statue.

    Which sucks.

    Moving on, I scouted out the area a bit as well.

    I flew as high as I could, and soared around a bit looking for nearby islands I might try going to. A few caught my eye. But most around here seem to be a bit smaller than the one I landed on. And just as uninhabited. No signs of smoke from fires to signify people. From that height that was about all I could hope to see besides the islands themselves.

    Another part of my brilliant scheme was to leave a note for my friends should they stumble across this island while I was looking for them.

    I picked a nice flat cliff face. Facing out towards the ocean and easily visible from multiple angles. Then I carved a message into it. Using my flames to write is kinda hard, but I think it turned out legible. The message goes like this.

    ''Hey guys! I was here but then I got bored so I went that way! ===> If you are reading this and you are Julius, Lena, Onica, or Fen then just set up camp on this island and wait. I''ll be coming back every couple of days. If you aren''t my friends then bugger off. This is MY island now!''

    And so my brilliant plan was concieved. I would both wait here and go looking for them.

    Brilliant!

    With the way ocean currents work we probably should have all been carried in the same basic direction.

    I think.

    So if I am lucky they washed up on one of the nearby islands.

    I''ll send up a beacon every night. And search an island every day. Then once every three days I will swing back around here to see if they arrived while I was gone.

    I have to take my time searching the islands. If I somehow miss one of my friends I am going to be pissed. I don''t think it''ll be much of a problem though. It''s not like my friends will be hiding from me.

    Tonights beacon is a huge fire sculpture of the five of us. Me, Lena, and Onica holding hands. With Julius in Lenas unoccupied arm and Fen on my head.

    Dinner was a cheeky bird that stole the fish that was supposed to be dinner.

    I''ll be heading out tomorrow.

    Goodnight.

 Seeking friendship

    Hello again. Today I started looking for my companions.

    I didn''t find them.

    Well, I didn''t think I would be so lucky as to find them on the very first day, but I did kind of hope I would.

    Realistic expectations are something I like to avoid where possible.

    While I did not locate my friends Idid search through the three closest islands in my chosen direction.

    I have my scrap of tinglewood wrapped around my chest like some kind of fluid wooden vest. It looks kind of dumb, but if for some reason I fall in the water the buoyant wood should pull me to the surface.

    Better safe than becoming a drowned and bloated corpse. Thats what I always say.

    One thing that is kind of bugging me though, is where did I come from to get here? I flew really freaking high, but there was no sign of any kind of mainland.

    So either I as unconcious and adrift forway longer than I thought. Or something.

    I have no idea what thator something could be.

    It is a little frustrating.

    But that frustration melted away in the glorious sensation of wandering new places and seeing new things. In my journeys today I have come to a conclusion.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

    It is really beautiful here.

    The islands are rich with plants and animals.

    Strange fish swim through sharp reefs that protect the rare sandy beachs.

    Vibrant plumaged birds dart through humid and dark jungles.

    Flowers in all manner of colors and forms festoon the rare sunny patch beneath the trees.

    Giant hairy spiders scuttle busily after food or away from being food.

    Some of the plants have teeth, and acid, and strangling vines.

    Great sharks cruise the waves, chasing after unseen morsels.

    Tattooed and pierced primitive tribes fight, kill, and eat one another.

    All in all. Life and death are so layered and mixed amongst the beauty its hard to tell them apart.

    I saw a pretty and delicate flower, beautiful soft pink-purple petals shaped like a star. Shoot pollen into the face of a passing rodent. The little fuzzy thing started sneezing and choking before finally expiring. Tiny delicate green shoots started rising from its nose and eyes.

    Life here is vicious, it hits hard, grows fast, and dies young.

    I like it!

    Still, every time I see something to marvel at I turn to look over my shoulder and share it with my friends.

    And every time I get hit with a hammer of melancoly right in the feelings.

    Really kind of takes the fun out of wandering when there is nobody to share it with.

    Tonight I am camping on a peak. The ocean breezes are cool, so I have a bonfire going, courtesy of a foolish carnivorous tree who got grabby when I was napping under it.

    The beacon for tonight is a flock of firey birds, based off of a very loud and annoying flock that woke me up this morning. The sight of thousands of white wings fleeing my wrath filled me with a feeling of wonder. So I am mimicking that spectacle as best I can.

    Thousands of bright crimson and yellow birds of fire swirl and dip in the sky overhead. Lighting up the night and hopefully catching the eye of my friends.

    It is nice, occasionally something comes out of the brush to try to make a snack of me. Hundreds of dive bombing fire birds make short work of my would be predators.

    They are much quieter than their inspiration too.

    So overall just better than the originals. They don''t poop either.

    Tomorrow is another day. Best get to sleep so I can make the most of it.

    Goodnight.

 Manners are important

    Hello again. Today was pretty quiet.

    This morning I had three eggs and a large and delicious, though spiky, fruit for breakfast. I flew off onto the next island with hope for a reunion. All I found were some angry locals. Well, one very angry local. The rest were pretty tame, but he kind of made up for it in my opinion

    The lead local or chief was a big heavyset man with very little clothing and lots of spittle when he yelled. Which he seemed to do a lot. I had wandered into the primitive grass hut village hoping to hear any sign or rumor that could lead me to my companions.

    Things like whole villages or islands being flooded, or scorched, or everyone dying, or malicious pranking spirits. Y''know, the kinds of stuff my friends would do if unpleasantly surprised.

    Instead I got a face full of spittle and unintelligible roaring from the chief. He got up in my face, pushed me around a little, smacked his subordinates, all while frothing and spitting in a rage.

    Then he pointed his finger at my nose.

    So I set him on fire.

    I hate when people wave their fingers in my face. It''s rude.

    I mean, who knows where his fingers have even been, right? Not to mention, there I am, being very calm and polite. Trying not to ruffle any feathers. Just looking for news of my friends, and this fat moron goes and waves his stubby sausages in my face?!

    Nuh-uh! No sir!

    On reflection, in hindsight, I may have overreacted with the whole ''burning him to death'' thing. But I am not as stable as I normally am ok? I am trying to keep it together, but when I am flying between islands my mind wanders, as it is prone to do, and I imagine my friends. Their bloated corpses battered and feeding fish as they drift on the ocean below me.

    Everytime I just have a little freak out. Nothing serious or anything, I just lob a giant spear of superheated flame into the ocean below while screaming as loud as I can.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    I find the explosions and pillars of steam behind me calming and soothing.

    So, if I seem a little on edge, and overreact to the asinine antics of small men with big delusions then, forgive me. I am sorry. I am not myself right now.

    Anyway, back to thefirstvillage this happened in.

    After that all the others hit the deck and started moaning/singing/chanting(?) in unison. That freaked me right out, so I left them to their ululations and headed back into the sky. Leaving the weirdos with their charred, rude, and dead leader.

    Over the island I went to plan B. Swooping low though the valleys and high above the peaks I cast balls of flame in my wake. Three times I swept the island, leaving little fires behind me. Nothing. If my friends had been on this island they would have responded somehow, probably at least by the second sweep. Which is why I went through three times. Just to be safe.

    After that I flew to the highest point, and carefully melted the peak of the mountain. It takes some practise but I leave crude statues of the five of us, molded out of molten stone.

    Leaving the smouldering island behind me I winged towards the next.

    Try and get rumors from locals, roast rude leader, fire-bomb the island, make statues at highest point, rinse and repeat. interspersed with little freak outs. That was my day. I think I left six islands in a row all smoking and in some cases in full inferno. If my companions pass these islands they might recognize my handiwork, if not from the fires then at least from the statues. I signed the back of each statue with their name. On mine I just left the word ''me''.

    Hopefully the locals chat like every other person I have ever met. If they don''t find my handiwork themselves then at least they might hear word of my doings. Through the grapevine.

    *sigh* Planning is hard. Especially when you never know if your plans will bear fruit.

    Is it weird how the chiefs of every village I walked into were all loud and rude and burned? Do leaders typically arise from assholes?

    If so, then I fear I will be burning more in the future.

    I have a good feeling about tomorrow though. I am resting on a small island tonight, but before the sun went down I saw what appears to be a massive island on the horizon. With any luck there will be one or more of my friends on the large island, and at the very least it looks like an adventure.

    It''s hard to get really excited about adventure all on my own, but I think I will manage.

    Dinner is a very large fish that leapt from the water at me when I was coming in for a landing. Judging from the way it is smelling over my fire I expect it will be delicious!

    Goodnight.

 Rotguard island

    Hello again. There is something wrong with this island.

    The big one I mentioned last time. I got here bright and early this morning, and this whole place is weird.

    First of all, the entire island is surrounded by high cliffs. There are no beaches, there are no docks, the rock all the way around the island forms a single dense and smooth curtain of stone the vanishes deep into the waves, and rises high into the sky.

    This single massive stone formation curves unnaturally inwards. Like a huge bowl. Or the maw of some ridiculously huge creature.

    While the outside is smooth stone, the inside of this curious formation is rough and jagged. Small ridges, just enough to get a finger or toehold on, are lipped with razor sharp stone. These tiny ridges are the only places to get a grip, and they cover the entire inner surface in tiny rippling waves of blades Combine that with the inwardly curving wall, and climbing out becomes less of a trial and more of a torture.

    Every grip cutting into your flesh, and a fall onto ripping and tearing blades below. Unless you got up high enough I suppose. Then you''d just fall straight to the ground far below.

    The dead barren ground. The looming wall keeps the edges of the island in near permanent shadow. Choking the life from anything seeking to grow near the wall. Keeping any would be climbers from getting an easy headstart with a nicely placed tree.

    It doesn''t look like any natural stone formation I have ever seen. It looks like it was specifically designed to keep something, or someone, inside of it. Judging from the discolored rust like patches and streaks on the stone, I would say it has been successful. Rotted bones litter the barren ground around the wall. All the way around. Hundreds of thousands of things have died right on the borders of this massive island.

    So, yeah, that''s weird right?

    Right.

    I landed at the base of this wall, looking up to see its curved bulk cover the sky, and stomping some ancient skulls to dust by accident. Turning around to look inwards. At the next oddity.

    The Jungle. I have seen lots of trees before. Everflame Forest comes to mind as the oddest. Well, not anymore. Everflame Forest just lost that honor.

    The trees are black. Not just the bark, or the leaves, everything is black. Down to the roots and the sap. Pitch black, and dull. Seeming to simultaneously reject and devour any light that comes in from the outside world. The trunks and branches are twisted things, the latter wrapping round one another in a vicious struggle towards the hated light and further growth. The husks of the losers of these battles lie forgotten on the forest floor. Covered in fungi that, I swear, look like brains, and pulse.

    Which is very offputting.

    I wandered into this twisted and fouled black jungle in good spirits. Strange place that promises a horrible and sudden death? Sign me right up! As I ducked under the low branches at the edge of the black jungle I took a look around.

    Small burrows and tunnels cover the island under the cover of the trees. Some I could barely squirm inside if I wanted to. Not that I do. A foul and punguent odor wafts from each tunnel. It is familiar, but I can''t place it for the life of me. Where have I smelled that before... It wasn''t terribly long ago, I think. Ugh, getting another headache. I''ll worry about that later.

    Something must be moving on this island, though I have seen no sign of any animal. Which is really weird by the way. There are small trails weaving drunkenly through the black jungle.

    The light under the strange trees is dull and gray, making it hard to make out details and distances, and making me see things that aren''t there. A grasping skeletal claw becomes a fallen tree branch. A dragon, frozen mid-roar, turns out to be a oddly shaped boulder.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    I swear I saw Lena, but it became just a swirl in the steadily thickening fog. That brought me to tears. To see little Lena, even just for a second, filled me with the purest crystalization of joy. Having that snatched away was devastating.

    I had a little cry and got back to wandering. Any joy of discovering the oddities doused like a drunk in a rain barrel. My thought turned to my lost companions. I hope they are all well.

    Lena should be fine at least. We were in the water, presumably, when everything went to shit. So she had a clear advantage over the rest of us. I hope she managed to save the rest, but as long as she is fine. That is what matters. I cannot blame her for failing to save the others from the calamity I have a bad feeling I caused.

    Julius isn''t a strong swimmer, but he could probably still use his fire underwater, just muted, unlike me. That core and nexus deal was a true double edged sword. So he should be able to steam away. If I recall right he was in Lenas lap when we were going into the whirlpool. So that is encouraging.

    Onica is probably the most worrisome. She is certainly a strong swimmer, but she lacks the distinct advantage of being able to cheat at life like the rest of us. Then again, I have seen her do things that make no sense. She stopped a rolling boulder once with a single hand. And without budging an inch. It must have outweighed her a dozen times over, but he stopped it cold. That does seem less than normal.

    Fen should be fine. Hats don''t breath after all, and he can make air bubbles for the others if necessary. He might complain about how difficult it would be, but he always comes through in a pinch.

    Still lost in thought I headed deeper.

    It was getting colder and darker the further I wandered into the black jungle. So I summoned a fire in my hand, to keep the dark and cold at bay. The flickering firelight cast strange and menacing shadows. Skittering things seem to shift just at the edges of my vision. Shadows of monsters that defy description dancing across the ground arund me. The trees seemed to loom over me, leering closer to the light, the warmth, the life.

    It was eerie and unsettling. So much so that I actually extinguished my fire.

    Then something stroked the back of my neck.

    I won''t lie. I kinda panicked there. No, honestly, I freaked out completely. Entirely forgetting I could fly, or that I could burn this whole place to cinders. A single emotion desperately seized control of my mind and body. Fear, locking away all thoughts of any kind, and pressing me into a sprint through the winding and narrow trails among the dread black trees.

    I kept looking behind me, hearing mocking laughter and pained screaming behind my gasping breaths. Desperate and afraid, I ran.

    I have no idea how long, or in what direction I fled. At some point everything else faded away, becoming meaningless. Thoughts? Will those save me from the terrors? No? Then go away! I just ran. Pursued by invisible demons, hounded by my fear, my feet pounded their bare soles against the grit in a pleading staccato.

    Finally, it ended. I looked behind me one last time, certain of my pursuers existence, and when I looked forward again, it was just in time to crash headfirst into a black obelisk.

    I knocked myself out.

    Super embarrassing

    When I came to I had a fiendish headache, and a desperate thirst. My ragged remnants of clothes were soaked in my sweat, a great big goose-egg forming on my forehead, and a feeling of folly in my heart.

    My panic and fear seeming so foolish and embarrassing in the wake of their choking grip that I was tempted to laugh. Something lightly touched the back of my neck, and I panic so hard I knock myself out on a big shiny rock?

    So I did. I sat there, in the shadow of an ominous black obelisk, damn near dead center of this strange island. Covered in dirt and sweat, with a ringing headache and a split forehead. Laughing my ass off.

    I needed that.

    After some quick flash fires to wipe off the sweat and close my gashed forehead I chugged as much water as my stomach could handle.

    Finally emotionally stable (or as much so as I ever am), and physically centered I looked at my undesired destination. The obelisk was smooth, heavy, cold, black stone. There were no trees near it. Forming a strangely perfect ring about twenty feet away from the stone. There was a single word, carved smoothly into all four sides of it.

    Rotguard

    No idea what the hey that is supposed to mean. But the sun is down, and after what happened last time I know better than to travel at night. That is how I got into this mess in the first place after all. Plunging off a cliff into a river at night.

    Ugh, it seemed like a good idea at the time!

    Well, I think I will settle here, next to the obelisk. Make a fire, eat some dinner, then I can continue checking out this weird island in the morning light.

    I think I will fly this time though. Thinking about walking through those black trunks again sends a shudder down my spine.Somethingdid touch me, andIdid hear things when I was running bravely away.

    I did.

    Goodnight.

 Historical Note: The ballad of Remier Grace

    There have been many great explorers and adventurers in the days of yore. Immortalized through epic tales and thrilling plays. The best have mountains, or seas, or even nations named after them. But the very best, the ones that truly saw the unseen. Who crossed the uncrossable. Who few and far between who achieve true greatness. They are become something more.

    Myth, or legend.

    They become, gods.

    Now, this is the story of one such explorer.

    But not of his rise to godhood. No, there are enough of those littering your opera houses and libraries already.

    No, this is the tale of his beginning. And it has never been told before.

    So gather round, and listen well.

    To the Ballad of Remier Grace.

    *****

    Born was he, in the distant mountains of Feldfar.

    Home of giants and great warriors. Leaders of warbands and conquest.

    Feldfar was the name of both the great silver capital upon the mountain, and the nation itself

    And in the silver city, on the red mountain, in a humble inn.

    He, was born. Remier Grace, a name as unusual to the brutish Feldfarians as was the boy himself.

    Short, where they were tall.

    Fair, where they were swarthy.

    Weak, where they were strong.

    And Strong, where they were weak.

    From his early days Remier was an outcast.

    Cast from his home to die upon the cruel mountainside.

    But Remier was loved by the world.

    Spirits of the fire brought him food, and warmed him through the cold nights.

    Spirits of the wind told him bedtime tales, teaching him the virtues of wit and wisdom.

    Spirits of the mounain guided his first steps, and told him of old secrets.

    Spirits of the river sang to him, and taught him all their forgotten songs.

    Remier grew, as all young do.

    What he lacked in height me made in mirth.

    What he lacked in martial skill he made in musical gifts

    What he lacked in family he made with friends.

    Time passed, and soon word of the silver haired bard of Feldfar spread.

    Distant courts sought to have him play for them.

    Princesses sought his poems and sonnets with unseemly excitement.

    Dukes and Princes sought to hire him into their retinue.

    Remier was the most influential man in all of Feldfar by age 17.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    But this did not please him.

    The crowds swarmed his house and favorite places.

    Seeking to hear his lovely voice and wonderous melodies.

    But they scared away his Spirit-friends, whom he sought to play for.

    So Remier went further and further into the wilds.

    To play for his friends, and to share his joy with them.

    It was here, far from the lands of civilized men.

    That Remier met the Spirit of Love.

    None know how the Spirit appeared to him.

    But all know the depth of his feelings for the Spirit.

    Remiers song, The Tiny World, was written for her.

    In it He promised her his everything.

    It is stilled played to this day as one of the greatest love songs ever penned.

    But, as is the case with all great people, trouble arose.

    When Remier played her his song, The Spirit of Love merely laughed.

    For, as she told him, Love belonged to everyone.

    And so she could not be his alone as he desired.

    Remier was heartbroken, but understanding.

    Rather than trying to make all the Love in the world his.

    He set out to spread Love to all. In accordnce with her wishes.

    And so the Spirit of Love traveled with him.

    Finally settling down in his home in Feldfar

    But one day, a great evil befell Feldfar.

    The red mountain was struck down.

    The silver city reduced to dust.

    Remiers friends were slaughtered.

    And the Spirits who raised him devoured.

    Including the Spirit of Love.

    And the gentle bard swore revenge.

    A dark forest grew upon his former home.

    Nothing living or well dwelled under those grim branches.

    Great warrior charged in, only to vanish among screams

    Remier knew he was no match for the evil in martial might.

    So Remier called upon his greatest assets.

    His voice, and his friends.

    He Shoutedhis pain.

    And the Spirits of Earth and Fire awoke.

    Tearing apart the lands around the darkness.

    He Screamed his hatred and wrath.

    The spirits of Earth and Wind rallied to him.

    And surrounded the darkness in a wall of blades.

    Unable to spread the darkness roiled in fury.

    Clashing against the cage that surrounded it.

    But it could not escape Remiers wrath.

    Finally, Remier Wailed his loss.

    The world wept alongside him.

    The Spirits of Fire and Water put aside their quarrel.

    And the walls were surrounded by a bitter boiling sea.

    But in the end Remier was unable to end it.

    Unable to destroy the one who caused him such pain.

    Unable to go that final step.

    For he was too weak.

    Exhausted by his three Voices.

    Remier had to content himself with mere imprisonment.

    Afterwards, bitter and silent.

    Remier turned his back on the known world.

    And walked into the shadowlands of Dunia.

    But that, is a different story altogether.

    THE END

    *****

    Well, that is the story. I know what you want to say.

    The hero didn''t slay the evil?

    No, he did not. Remier was yet a young man. Distraught and weak.

    I have no doubt his inability to protect his friends and end the one who took them shaped his later adventures. And eventually led him to the highest of points.

    So if you must learn something from this then let it be this: Your past mistakes will shape your future. Whether those mistakes raise you up or cast you down, well, that is up to you.

    Be like Remier children, use your flaws as fuel to rise, not as reasons to fail.

 Kindling, meet your match

    Ugh, hello again. Today was both stupidly long and annoyingly short.

    Long because I hardly got any sleep last night.

    Shortly after I shut my eyes and started drifting to sleep the screaming started.

    And short because since I was so tired I am already caling it a day. It is hardly past noon.

    I think.

    Anyway, screaming, right. Lets get this written while it is still fresh in my memory.

    The sky was covered by dense black clouds, plunging the surroundings from grim and dim to blindingly black. I could hear sounds, slitherings and screamings, from all directions. And it seemed like they were getting closer.

    Tired and disoriented, but also supremely pissed I did what anyone would do.

    I screamed at it.

    "SHUT UP! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! GO AWAY!!!" Sadly, my demands where ignored, and if anything the screams actually increased in volume. Call me crazy, but I swear there was a mocking lilt to them now.

    Now completely awake and incensed I jumped as high into the air as I could, which with some Will and Emotion behind it was pretty damn far. I was carried over the treetops by my leap. Maybe. Like I said, it was dark and I couldn''t see shit.

    Well, I had a plan to change that.

    At the apex of my leap, I called all tingles into action. Fire covered my flying frame and trailed behind me in a haze of heat and smoke. I bent my back, cranked both arms behind my head, and upon making contact with what I suppose could have been the ground I whipped both my blazing fists into the earth as hard as I possibly could.

    Fire EXPLODED in all directions, hungry and angry red waves of devouring wrath consuming everything they came in contact with. The land had cracked and cratered under my blow, making it an annoying chore to drag my body out of the pit I had just created.

    So I flew out instead. Why work hard unless you need to, right?

    In the newly brightly lit forest I could finally see the culprits behind my rude awakening. Dozens of burning bodies rampaged blindly between the smouldering trunks of the black jungle. Strange misshapen forms without any sign of humanity, or elvanity, or dwarfanity, or anything. Seeming to be just randomly selected collections of limbs held together by black ooze. Any satisfaction I felt at watching them burn was dimmed as I saw the flames on the black trees dimming and dying far quicker that believable.

    For whatever reason, seeing trees refuse to burn set me off again. I walked up to the biggest one that was dimming the quickest. Then I shoved my hand into its trunk. Splitting the bark and digging deep into its flesh. The insides of the tree felt, wrong. Soft, squishy, and pulsating. Like I had just placed my hands directly onto someones beating heart.

    Not bothering to consider the implications, I ignited, moving as much heat as quickly into my hand and from there into the tree.

    It exploded, yay, but not from me, boo.

    No, the thing inside the fake tree had shuddered and split the trunk into splinters trying to dance away from my fire.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    Slick, slimy tentacles, wound around one another to form a single larger tentacle waving lazily at the air. Seeming to protest its exposure. Cruel tearing spines jutted seemingly at random from iteach one tipped with a sickening ichor, and occasional red gaps filled with fangs gaped along the iridescent black slime that coated each tentacle.

    Gross.

    So I burned them. I burnt them to ash and then kept going, jumping down into the hole they had emerged from and incinerating more and more and more of them.

    For hours I walked the tunnels these gross things had dug through the land beneath the island. Just burning away a path before me. Ash trailing behind me, filling the air and making it hard to breath. My tinglewood vest became a scarf, blocking out most of the ash and letting me breath easily once again.

    Finally, after what seemed like forever, I reached the source. A massive underground chamber, I seem to find lots of these, roughly in the shape of an egg. Lying in this cave, taking most of the space inside, was it.

    No idea what it was. It was a disturbing shifting sac of pulsing flesh, exposed organs, far too many eyes, and mouths. The Tentacles I had followed here were but the hair off of its back. More ran throughout the cave and exited through tunnels like the one I had emerged from.

    It was massive. I could have fallen and drowned inside its smallest eye. Its multitude of bizarre twisted limbs dwarfed me laughably, and its whole bulk could have shadowed some smaller mountains I had seen before.

    Experimentaly I launched a fireball at one of its eyes.

    With a dull *paff* and plume of smoke it vanished into the milky orb, and suddenly every single eye on the beast was pointed at me.

    I waved.

    It ripped my arm off with one of its tentacles that moved at blinding speeds. A sharp crack of it splitting the air echoed by the one from my snapping tendons. The shock and force of the blow knocked from my ledge, and directly onto the monstrosity.

    Immediately my skin started to smoke and melt, as whatever the sickly green organ I had landed on was secreted powerful acids. From my stump a spark flew, igniting and branching in the air to become a new limb, identical to the previous, even down to the scars.

    That handled, I punched down into the grossness. Flames gushed into the sac beneath me, it expanded rapidly before bursting, choking acidic white smoke covered me, eating away at any exposed skin. Temporarily blinded by this and in great pain I rose to previously unknown levels of pissed.

    I became fire. All blows simply slipped through me. The limbs behind them cooking as they passed through my limbs or torso. You ever have a spike shoved through your head before? Let me tell you, it feels like when you really have to sneeze, but just can''t. Not very pleasant. But better than death I suppose.

    I rampaged, burning, punching, kicking, biting, consuming the scourge beneath me.

    I lost track of time, all my focus on destroying the thing directly before me. On destroying the enemy. The feeling seemed mutual. Acids, poisons, plagues, infestations, parasites, fangs, claws, and sounds that dragged vile claws across my fragile psyche were thrown at me.

    I began getting hurt, strange eldritch colors and shapes coated its claws and fangs, its unworldy chanting driving nails into my mind, breaking my concentration and allowing its blows to land on my human flesh. Tearing into me, and leaving terrible wounds.

    I redoubled my efforts. Fire filled the cave, a dancing sea of my rage and pain. All directed at the source of it all. Untapped pains, my worries about my companions, the fear of my unknown past, my despair at my own weakness, my inability to protect those I cared about. These rose inside me, and fed the flames.

    I danced among the fire, laughing and crying in a pain and ecstacy previously unknown to me. As I tore my foe to shreds and burnt those shreds to ash.

    I think I might have more problems than I thought. Cause I don''t think that is normal. Well, not like being normal is a good thing though, right?

    Right?

    Then, finally, it was over. I stood, alone, on a field of ash. The cavern half filled with the soft fluffy substance that had once been one of the most terrible things I have ever seen.

    I had lost multiple arms and legs throughout the fight. Been eviscerated, disemboweled, and damn near decapitated. Torn to pieces or eaten whole. But I had outlasted it. And now it was just the dust beneath my feet.

    Unwilling to spend anymore time with its remains I gathered what little of myself I had left and slowly flew back to the surface. The black jungle was gone. The shattered remnants of trunks strewn across the island all that remained.

    Almost lazily, I set them on fire, lay back against the obelisk and began writing todays events.

    So yeah, that happened.

    Now I need to have a little nap. Excuse me.

    Goodnight.

 Disappointment is disappointing

    Hello again. Today was my first scheduled retun to Rendezvous Island.

    I decided to name it that. Because thats what it is.

    Well, as you''d expect, I got lost.

    Luckily I stumbled across one of the islands I had lightly burnt and made statues on. So I managed to travel back along my singed trail.

    I really need to figure out a way to find Rendezvous Island without getting lost.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    I got nothing.

    Oh well, I am sure it''ll all work out!

    I hope.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Please, let it all work out.

    Anyway, when I got Rendezvous Island in sight I was excited to see smoke from fires on it. Excitement isn''t quite the right word for it. I was almost giddy, forgetting the lingering aches and pains from yesterdays brutal battle with a horror from beyond. Focusing all my attention of those delicate fluffy strands of rising smoke.

    ''Maybe my friends are already there!'' I thought, speeding way way up.

    Nope.

    Bunch of people who had fled the islands I had, very slightly, burnt. They had ran into each other and glommed together into a single big clump of people.

    Then they happened to sail past Rendezvous Island and spotted my note. Not understanding what was written there they took it as a sign from the gods to stop and settle this island...

    That was the story I managed to parse out of the stammering and sweating council of elders that led them now.

    Well, maybe. I didn''t understand their language after all. But they were very clear with their hand gestures and body language.

    Suddenly completely drained of energy and emotion I waved them off, and walked slowly up to my cave at the peak. I was too tired to fly, and walking through the beautiful forests and fields of Rendezvous Island helped keep me from settling my attention on my twisting feelings of despair and fallen hope.

    Ugh. The sun is still high. But my head has been killing me since that fight yesterday.

    And I just... I just want to take refuge in sleep.

    Just for a little while.

    So, yeah.

    Goodnight.

 Delegation

    Hello again. I woke up screaming today.

    Fading memories of forgotten horrors vanishing back into the recesses of my mind. Where I hoped they would stay.

    When I finally managed to get a grip on reality I saw that reality had changed a little while I was away. Woven reed baskets of fruit and fish lay among banks of woven flowers and placed all over my previously empty and dour cave.

    What?

    When I went outside I was surprised to see a small building had been thrown together outside on the overlook. Pretty much just a woven grass three sided hut, with the open side facing away from the ocean and its breeze.

    Inside a child was lazing about, rolling across the floor. Back and forth, back and forth. Until on one such rotation they happened to see me there, watching them.

    Then they froze.

    Very slowly, as if in front of an unknown but very dangerous looking creature, they stood. Then turned and ran frantically down the mountain.

    I scratched my head and took a seat on the overlook.

    Sometimes, looking at the horizon can be calming. Bringing back good memories of distant lands. Other times it can be frustrating. Like the horizon is mocking you for not reaching it yet.

    This was neither of those. This time, the horizon made me sad. It was vast, the lands beyond it defying comprehension. And somewhere out there are my friends. Somewhere in this vast world. Alone, like me.

    I had tried to stay positive. I had come up with plans to waive off the sinking sensation of the sheer size of the task in front of me. Finding four people in this wide world. How foolish do you have to be to not realize how ridiculous such an undertaking is? More so than I it would appear.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    I was on the verge of doing something, what exactly I couldn''t say. Was I about to leap off the cliff into the ocean? Burst into tears? Scream and rage at the world? I never found out, because it was at that moment that I heard movement behind me.

    The elders were there, still sweating and refusing to meet my gaze. Curious, and thankful for an opportunity to get out of my own head I gestured questioningly at them. Kinda like a shrug with expanding arms and open palms. I''d have just raised an eyebrow, but like I said. They refused to look at my face.

    Which seems kind of rude to me? Eyes and faces are very emotional places. If they wanted to really know what I was thinking or talking about they''d look me in the eyes. Probably. I don''t know. Nevermind.

    The child had come back as well, peeking at me from behind his elders. One of them grabbed him and pushed him front and center. Much to his panic and my amusement.

    They said something to him, and then he turned to me.

    "What want?" He said, surly and quiet. Probably not enjoying his role as translator.

    "I want to find my friends." I responded, eager to see more amusing reactions. Anything was better than what was in my head.

    He looked at me, with that special gaze children use when adults are being stupid. "No, what want us?"

    Yeah, seems they thought I was a god. And wanted to know what I wanted as tribute for not striking them all down. It took a long time and dozens of broken sentences with wrong words to get the message across.

    My tribute was for them to send messengers out. To as many places as possible, with a note and a picture I wrote and drew. To find my friends, and help them get back here, if they needed the help.

    By noon ships were heading in all directions. Sailing towards known settlements in search of news of my friends.

    It would seem I just got a pet tribe.

    Nice.

    I headed out myself shortly after. I was in no state to sit and relax. Shadows of my dreams last night lingered. Drawing me into a pensive and stressed mood. Travel is a good way to relax. So I wandered.

    Trying not to think is hard by the way. The more you try the more you realize that thinking ''don''t think about it'' is still thinking. Then you start thinking ''don''t think about not thinking'' and it goes on and on. A never ending cycle of annoyance and redundancy.

    Eventually the sun went down, and I could finally stop trying to think about not thinking about not thinking.

    I set up camp for the night on a little hump of sand in the middle of the waves.

    I am getting tired of fish.

    Maybe if I cook it differently?

    Goodnight.

 Things really need to start happening soon

    Hello again. No luck today.

    My first few stops were hard to call islands.

    More large boulders really. They jutted out of the ocean, all barren cliffs and hostile birdlife.

    No sign of my friends there.

    I headed out, more and more down in the dumps.

    But luckily for me, I found a distraction!

    A war! Nothing takes your mind off your troubles quite like a war.

    Two islands were fighting each other over the island between them. I settled in to watch.

    Warbands ran blindly about the island in question. No semblance of discipline or strategy to be found. I only saw one ambush be set and sprung successfully. Sadly the islanders ambushed their own forces, leading to heavy losses.

    Small fishing boats loaded with men maneuvering around one another. More insults than arrows filling the air. I couldn''t even tell the two sides apart. No banners, no colored patches or bandanas. Not even their tattoos differed enough to be noticeable.

    Watching this travesty was certainly making me forget my worries, but it was doing so by pissing me off!Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    You call that a war?! I''ve fought better wars with breakfasts! At least then I don''t stab myself with my own fork!

    So I intervened. I flew down, and channeled my anger into my eyes. Purple rays bathed the ocean and island. The ''warriors'' fell to the ground and deck like they had been poleaxed.

    "What is this nonsense!" I growled at the unlucky bastards with the big feather headresses that indicate possible leadership. They shit themselves. Literally. So gross.

    Seeing two fully grown and muscular men shit themselves really doused my fire. Unwilling to stay and partake in any more of this shitshow I turned to leave. "Look, just. Get along, will ya?" I shouted over my shoulder as I winged away.

    And that was the highlight of my day.

    Yup, watching grown men act like children and then mess themselves was the peak of my day.

    That is just sad.

    The rest of it was more of the same.

    I did make a point of giving any other villages I came across the purple eyes treatment, and a command to get along with each other. Not sure how much they understood of that, but hopefully that will keep me from seeing anymore pathetic attempts at warfare.

    It just, bothers me. War is serious business. It requires training, preparation, forethought, and intelligence. Anything else is just a foolish waste of precious lives. Disgusting.

    Even when we were taking that kingdom whose blasted name I can never recall and giving it to Morena or Morana or whoever. We planned and plotted to keep our gains maximized and losses minimized. Nobody decimated their foes beyond what was necessary. Besides Julius. But he is an exception, definitely not the rule. *Shudder* That poor poor man.

    It was getting late so I set down in a nice secluded looking place for some rest.

    As I watch the sun fall and the stars come out a sigh is pulled from deep within me. It is undeniably beautiful, but without my friends it just seems hollow. These feelings are only getting more pronounced the longer I am alone.

    I am lonely, and I am bored.

    I hope things get more interesting around here soon.

    Goodnight.

 Move along, nothing to see here

    Hello again. My days searching the great blue continue.

    I make a point out of giving any villages I come across the ole evil eye, and extract what may be a promise to get along with their neighbors from them. For these small villages in such bountiful areas to be fighting one another is just foolish in my mind.

    They have plenty of food and room, so what are they fighting for? Old slights? Dumb pride? Sheer bloodymindedness? What a waste of life. I hate it.

    I leave statues and smokestacks behind me, but it is starting to feel more and more like a futile gesture. I barely remembered to do it on the islands I visited yesterday.

    Still did though. Who knows? Maybe it''ll actually work. Saw some ships from the tribes on Rendezvous Island today. They have taken to marking their sails with one of two symbols. Red wings, or a purple eye. I guess they are my most obvious characteristics. I saw the sailors on the ships waving and cheering below me, so I gave them a wave and a barrel roll before moving on.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

    Five more islands today. Five more sets of statues and smokestacks. Five more tribes who I made promise to get along with my evil eye.

    I wonder if they will follow through with that promise? It isn''t like they have a clear understanding of what I want from them. I just repeatedly point towards a neighboring island and clasp my hands together until the sweating and shivering chief or elder or whoever nodds desperately. Then I fly off.

    Not super clear, but the language barrier is a thick one. They do seem to pretty much share a language, so they should be able to have peaceful exchanges.

    Is it worth it? Am I making a difference by telling them to get along while they cower and shiver in fear of me?

    I don''t know. But it does make me feel like I am doing something. And I need that.

    Dinner is fish and fruit. Again.

    I have some rum to make things more interesting.

    The huge bonfire I made makes it hard to sleep what with all the light and heat. But it calms me. Looking deep into the flames I remember other nights, other fires. Better times, with laughter and fights and friends.

    Goodnight.

 Growing

    Hello again. Today was my second scheduled return to Rendezvous Island.

    On the way there I passed over many of the islands I had already visited. Using them as guide posts to show me the way back. I saw ships shuttling between islands. All bearing the red wings or purple eye on their sails. It seems to be spreading. The men and women aboard the ships and islands wave and cheer as I fly over them.

    I won''t lie. It feels pretty good. I half expected them to cower and/or run screaming into the underbrush at the sight of me. But they seem to be almost grateful. I wasn''t expecting that.

    The closer I get to Rendezvous Island the heavier the sea traffic gets. Convoys of dozens of ships, larger and finer than most I have see are sailing towards it.

    More cheering, and even some impromptu parties break out below my path.

    Much better than the despair and panic I was expecting.

    When I finally reach Rendezvous Island there is an actual floating city around it. Hundreds, if not thousands, of boats and ships, tied loosely together into massive floating platforms. I had no idea there were even this many ships among the tribes. A closer look shows that the ones with red wings and purple eyes are the clear minority.

    I would seem that these are mostly from islands and tribes I hadn''t met yet. How many islands are there?! Looking through them one by one would take me forever!

    Thankfully, after some evil eye mojo and making an example out of one bizarrely belligerent chief the rest bow down, and ask what tribute I desire. Talk about an ego boost. Luckily, this time my reluctant translator is around to grudgingly let them know I want their help finding my friends. And for them to get along with one another. I added that in, just in case. I don''t want them killing each other when they could be looking for my friends.

    They seem relieved. A whole group of pretty young girls break into tears of joy at my announcement. Scattering and hugging what seems to be their families. The people in the tribes seem to get very emotional very fast.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

    Speaking of emotions.

    I wonder how that funny kid with the bad attitude learned my language in the first place? I suppose I should ask him tomorrow. Or not. I don''t see how it matters.

    There was a feast tonight. It spread like wildfire, which I know a thing or two about, among the floating city.

    Things were in full swing when the screaming started.

    I was carousing with some of the chiefs and elders around a huge bonfire when I heard it.

    The surly translator was quickly at my side. "God Raa!" They called me Raa, I think it meant sun, or one who is highest. Or both, I don''t know. "God Raa!" He repeated. "God Fuun''thalor attack tribe! Go! Help!" Well, I couldn''t have that now could I?

    I flew off. The god in question turned out to be a large fish. Which is bad. Because I suck in the water. Luckily, I can just boil the waves around him and kill him that way.

    Or so I thought.

    Spears of spinning water rose from the surface of the ocean. Intercepting my attacks and rushing to batter me in return. Dodging and weaving through the attacks I closed the distance between us, and got a good look at Mr. Fuun''thalor.

    Strange looking fella. Even for a fish. Stripes of reddish brown and ivory white covered him in an eye watering pattern that seemed to scream danger to my instincts. Spines extended from his back, and face, and fins. Looked like the porcupine of the ocean to me. A giant porcupine of the sea that is. He dwarfed me. His body extending twenty feet easily, and his mouth gaping wide enough to swallow me whole.

    I saw a unlucky man get scratched lightly by one of his spines. Nothing serious I thought. Until the man puked his guts up, curled into a ball, twitched a bit. Then died.

    So, yeah, that''s poison. That is definitely poison.

    I decided I had zero interest in getting close to that weirdo, and since my fire attacks from a distance seemed to be entirely ineffective, I went with plan E. For E-vil eye. I blasted him with a heavy ray of purple horror. About twice what I used to subdue an island, and all focused on him.

    Mr. Fuun''thalor went belly up and just drifted there in the water. I think he had a heart attack.

    He won''t be missed.

    I gingerly scooped him out of the water by stabbing a harpoon deep into him, and carried him to a deserted part of the island where I burnt him to cinders. Well, being attacked by an angry sea god kind of killed the party.

    So now I am going to bed.

    With all those ships out looking for my friends, surely something will show up!

    Fingers crossed.

    Goodnight.

 News arrives

    Hello again! Wonderful news today!

    Word of my companions has reached me!

    My heavily expanded information network had news of them, it was pretty old news by the time it reached me. But I know now that they are all alive at least!

    So much joy! A huge weight just got lifted from my chest, fresh air fills my lungs. Everything seems brighter, colors more vibrant, smells more moving, music more pleasing, and flavors more awesome!

    I cannot stop myself from singing and dancing joyfully! I got lots of weird looks from my ''worshippers'' but whatever! It isn''t like I even want to be a ''god'' or whatever. If a overgrown salmon can be one, then any prestige the post held is kind of lost as far as I am concerned.

    The news I got is garbled and confusing, fifth and sixth hand accounts from traders and fishermen. Gossip probably mixing in here and there with the facts.

    I guess it probably doesn''t help that the translator only speaks my language in broken sentences. Turns out he picked it up piecemeal from traders who used to come to his village to trade metals for pearls.

    That is part of the surprising news. There are more powers in these seas than just my primitive tribes. Who knew?

    To a sort of a thataway kind of direction lies the waters and lands of the Shoto empire, and its vassal states.

    And in more of a thisaway feel is the Iceni empire, and its many trade unions.

    Learn something new eveyday huh?

    Not much info on what makes these two local powers tick. I wasn''t willing to sit back and wait for a full briefing.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    What has me confused is the fact that that these two nations are at war. Well, that isn''t the confusing part really. The confusing part is that my friends have been sighted fighting for them. On both sides.

    Why would they be fighting each other?

    They wouldn''t, so that throws everything else I heard into doubt.

    I already decided that tales of super weapons and undersea cities are probably not true.

    But some of the stories sound way too much like my friends to be made up. Things like the ocean rising up and fighting an Iceni fleet sounds like Lena.

    But then there was the story of nearly a whole fleet of Shoto warriors dying in the space of a single night. The fleet was found floating aimlessly days later. One survivor per ship.

    That sounds like Onica.

    But that would put Onica and Lena on opposite sides...

    Which just doesn''t make any sense to me.

    Maybe they are a third side? That sounds more like my friends. But why would they want to jump in on a war between two empires?

    Yeah, I dunno.

    There were also stories of fleets being caught in sudden storms and winding up blown into reefs or beached entirely. Which sounds like something Fen would do.

    And it is anybodies guess whether the stories of islands being torched to ash is about Julius or me.

    So I am just gonna head over towards the area the empires are fighting over. I figure this will all make more sense in person. Plus the news will be fresher. And sitting still right now is impossible for me. All good reasons, but mostly I just want to see them all again as soon as possible.

    Now that I have taken a moment to pause and think. I wonder how I missed two whole empires in my wanderings these last few days? Guess that is just a good marker of how vast these waters really are.

    I cannot sleep tonight. Luckily it doesn''t really matter if I do or don''t right now.

    I know how easily I get lost. Normally it''s no big deal to me. Everywhere is your destination if you have no plans. But this time I do have a destination and a plan. And that is why I am not actually flying there myself.

    I cannot be trusted to reach an intended destination. Not when I am this excited, or ever really. So I have taken the fastest ship and crew in my islands. They will carry me to my friends.

    So here I sit, aboard the Friend Zone! I named it myself! Very proud of the Friend Zone I made!

    Gah! I am too excited to sit still, just, so so so happy!!!

    I need to work out my nervous energy somehow! But boats are not good places for sudden exercising, and swimming is more of a hazard than an exercise for me these days.

    The captain tells my translator that we should reach our destination in a week.

    THAT IS TOO LONG!!!

    So I am gonna see what I can do to speed things up.

    Goodnight!

 I got a bit carried away

    Hello again. Today we arrived in the contested area.

    Remember how the captain said it would take a week? And how I wanted to speed things up?

    Well, it didn''t, and I did.

    I can''t really feel too triumphant about shortening a weeks voyage into one that lasted a dozen hours. Normally I would be feeling pretty proud, and I am. But the poor Friend Zone... I can''t say it deserved what happened to it. It is a sad thing. Seeing a Friend Zone be broken into a million pieces. But if thats what it will take to reconnect with my friends, then so be it.

    I tried a few different things to speed us up.

    I had horses of fire run over the water before us, kicking up steam and connected to the ship with cords made of the meager tinglewood I still have. That worked alright, but we couldn''t really see where we were going, and the steam was making the whole ship damp and slippery. After slipping and bashing my face in on walls and masts five times I figured I was done with that.

    Next I tried lifting the whole ship. Making huge wings of flame port and starboard and trying to fly a decently sized ship into the sky is freaking hard. I managed to do it though. For a little bit. Then the ship started catching fire, and the crew kept falling off because I kept over compensating and sending us into uncontrolled spins and dives. So then I had to land the ship. Which went so badly I don''t even want to record it.

    But I will.

    So, through some fluke of fate, when I tried to land us on the ocean it just so happened to be at the exact same location as a barely submerged boulder. I came down so hard on it the poor Friend Zone nearly cracked in half. Screaming crewmembers were sent tumbling in all directions, and I spilled my drink.

    Next, after fishing the unlucky(?) crewmembers out of the black ocean waters, I tried rocketing it.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Going to the very rear of the ship I sat down and dangled my legs in the cool water. Taking a moment to gaze at the star filled firmament above before trying my next method. About as relaxed as I was going to get, I took a deep breathe, raised my feet from the waves, and blasted off.

    I then slammed into the cabins behind me. I hadn''t actually secured myself to the ship, so I was the only thing that moved, and since I was trying move a whole ship I really put some kick into it. The crews and captains quarters were smashed into so much kindling under my body.

    Which hurt like you wouldn''t believe.

    On my second attempt I was tied to the deck by the poor captain whose ship I had been steadily demolishing since I offered to ''help'' late last night. I think I will get him a new ship later.

    Secured as fully as I was likely to get I once again blasted off. I got some pretty sick rope burns on my shoulders and across my thighs, but man did we ever start moving. Better yet, since we could see in front of us, and hadn''t left the water, the captain could still steer us.

    Time passed, anytime I started flagging all I had to do was think of my friends. Then I was raring to go again!

    We did hit some rough seas, where we basically just hopped from wave crest to wave crest in a jarring series of lurching jumps and impacts. The odd reef or rock was scraped by, leaving some wood behind. And I know we hit at least one unlucky fish in a splatter of scales and fishy blood. And stuff.

    By the time the sun was high overhead I was exhausted, bruised, rope-burned, and on a swiftly sinking wreck. The Friend Zone had been reduced from a elegant display of the shipwrights art, into a bunch of soggy splinters. Barely held together by some frayed rope, and a desperate mans ingenuity. But that''s ok. Because we had arrived!

    The neutral merchant island, of Freeport. Right smack dab in the middle of all the fighting, and the only place where both navies had bases. I wonder why they haven''t attacked each other here yet? That is the first thing I would do, claim any shared or contested lands as quickly as possible, so I could dedicate my forces entirely towards taking enemy lands.

    Anyway, I asked around town a bit. Nobody had seen a seven foot tall cat lady, a red rabbit, a floating talking tophat, or a small girl with shortcut blue hair. I did get a lot of weird looks though. Bunch of strange people on this island. What is weird about asking if anyone has seen your friend the talking hat?!

    I got a room at the only inn in town, and now, if you''ll excuse me. I really need to get some sleep.

    I''ll go ask around at the navy bases tomorrow. Hopefully they have more information on my friends whereabouts.

    Goodnight.

 A blank puzzle that is missing pieces

    HIYA.

    Did you know, that if you get hit in the head, really, really hard. You get some memories back?

    Although, I suppose that is only if you''ve lost them in the first place. Because of logic. And how that works and stuff.

    Ugh, my head is killing me.

    I went to the navy bases this morning, after breakfast. Some spicy fried fish, very delish. Haha, that rhymned. Anyway, I went there. And they were all "Fuck off asshole" So I was all "Get lit son!" and then a boat fell on me.

    And now I remember.

    I had a dog.

    Big fluffy friendly drooly buddy. We used to run together. Through the warm summer grass, and the wide winter woods.

    Ah, good memories. I used to use its fluffy soft belly as a pillow when I napped outside. Why was I napping outside?

    Ow, thinking hurt. No more thinking.

    Much better that the last time I remembered stuff. All that blood and smoke, and no friends. Well, there was that smile though.

    That was a nice smile. I wish I could see that smile again.

    My hed hrts

    I gunna tke nap.

    Niht.

    *****Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    MY. HEAD. KILLS.

    What in the name of fire happened to me?

    Oh.

    Looks like a boat fell on me. And I remembered a dog?

    Did I?

    Whatever, the dog is gone, but the pain is still right here.

    Oh, right, healing fire.

    Be right back.

    *****

    Oh geez, I am covered in blood. And naked, again.

    I''m just sitting in some tall grass right now, looks like it is where I decided to ''nap'' earlier.

    Where did my clothes go!?

    I am still wearing the satchel, so I must have taken it off, then removed my shirt, then put it back on.

    WHY?!

    And where did my pants go?! There was no reason at all to take off my pants.

    This better not become a common thing. Having my little suns dangling in the breeze doesn''t bother me, much. But it is a tempting target for any beastie or baddie looking to ruin my day. And judging fom the twin pillars of smoke rising into the sky on either side of me, there are lots of people who really don''t need any temptation at all.

    Best to avoid that unpleasantness altogether.

    So, clothes, and an idea about what I did. So I can say I did it. It is important to take pride in the things you''ve done.

    Right, go and do.

    *****

    Clothes, check. Easily done, just went on a walk around town, nobody is around. So I took a pair of pants off a clothesline.

    Mission accomplished, medals all around!

    An Idea what I did, no check.

    I can guess from all the carnage and burning naval bases that things didn''t go well when I asked after my friends.

    But like I said, there is nobody around. The whole island is deserted. Food left on tables and clothes left out to dry. The docks are empty too. The only ship is the Friend Zone, and that''s probably only because it sunk.

    Nobody tried to salvage theFriend Zoneit would appear.

    I thought about flying around for a looksee, but I am kind of enjoying some time alone right now. How often do you get the chance to be completely unsupervised around someone elses stuff? Not often, so I spent a few hours snooping about.

    It is just outrageous what people will hide under their bed, thinking it is perfectly safe and no one will look there. Bunch of perverts in this town if you ask me.

    Well, after all my sleuthing about it is getting late. The sun is almost down, I guess I''ll get some sleep?

    See if tomorrow brings any answers.

    Like, how did a boat fall on my head? And what was my dogs name? And where are my friends?

    All good questions!

    Goodnight.

 Here we go again

    Hello again. Today I set a whole bunch of people on fire.

    I can''t say it was by accident, or that it wasn''t my fault. But I can say they made it very easy to make the decision to burn them.

    When I woke up I was surrounded by men who tried to look angry and fierce, but just barely managed to look constipated. Swords, spears, and a few hollow-tubes-that-throw-metal-bits-super-fast-and-make-very-loud-noises-when-they-do-so. I shall call them boomers, because they boom and that other name takes forever to write. I didn''t much like waking up to pointy metal bits prodding my throat, but out of respect for the way pointy metal bits can really ruin your day I stayed very still.

    And hit them with my purple evil eye mojo.

    When all the would-be ambushers had collapsed, and I could get out of bed without fear of getting any new and exciting holes in my person I wandered downstairs. To find more men with swords and boomers. These guys freaked out, and I learned exactly what a boomer does. They missed me, thankfully, but the banister and railing of the stairs I was on got torn up. And that sound! One heck of a wake up let me tell you! Very surprising!

    So surprising in fact, that my carefully molded spray of tiny fireballs designed to wipe them out without harming the building instead became a firexplosion. Made that word up myself. Pretty proud of it.

    Anyway, the firexplosion knocked the inn out.

    Blew the walls off of it, and threw the roof high high in the sky. Turned the soldiers into greasy stains on the cobblestones and their weapons into misshapen slag. It also ignited the stuff the boomers throw, which sent a spray of angry semi-molten metal in all directions. Accompanied, of course, by the requiste booms.

    Out of the new holes in everywhere I could see more soldiers outside, formed into tidy square and formations, and all gawping at the inn. Then the roof fell on one of those tidy squares, squashing the poor guys flat, and everybody panicked. I sprinted into the thick of it, still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. As I ran I made a few copies of myself out of fire, turned myself into fire, and zigzagged wildly through the formations.

    Boomers boomed, and soldiers were cut down in waves as the little metal bits flew through me and my clones. And slammed into the unlucky soldiers behind us. Two squads actually fired at the same time, and wiped each other out. That is some timing right there.

    It was all very confusing. Smoke from the boomers cloaked the area, flashes and booms left me disoriented and pretty freaked out. I couldn''t see, hear, smell, or breathe. So I decided to clear the deck. I leapt into the air, only a few feet, clenched everything and then snapped outwards. A blasting wall of searing heat and flame fled my embrace smashing into and scattering the surviving soldiers, and lighting the rest of the buildings around me in fire.

    Then I started jogging, planning to get some distance and figure out my next move. Unluckily I just kept running into soldiers. Seems like there were more and more just waiting behind every corner. ''Where did they all come from?!'' I remember thinking.

    I didn''t have to wait long to find out. Finally awake enough, and together enough, to think for a few seconds. I flew up above the confusion. Above the town of Freeport I could see the fires I had started were spreading. With no one to fight them it was only a matter of time before the whole town was ablaze. Of greater concern were the armies and fleets.

    Yes, plural.

    I had run into the Iceni army already, but the Shoto forces were moving inland. Likely looking to claim the town, probably unaware it was on fire. Though how they missed or dismissed the huge columns of smoke is beyond me. Behind the moving troops were ships. Large cumbersome troop carriers dropped their payload on opposing beaches.

    Judging from the weather vane on top of the tallest building in town. The Shoto were dropping their troops on the S side of the island. There were a handful of small beaches they were using for that purpose, and the Shoto troops had taken the time to fortify the beaches and surrounding hilly area before moving inland.

    Which explained why I hadn''t seen any in town yet.

    To the N the Iceni forces were dropping the troops off on the docks of Freeport. They had been moving to secure the town when they ran into me, and their plans came under heavy fire.

    There were large ships forming slowly moving lines behind the troop carriers on both sides. Gargantuan ships whose billowing white sails made for a tremendous view. A sort of majestic feel to them. They were moving into position to use the hundreds of giant boomers they carried aboard, more on that later.

    To the E and W there were smaller ships, manuevering and shooting at each other, the cascading crashes carried to me by the wind. It looked like both forces had moved to secure Freeport at the same time. Talk about a coincidence huh? wonder if this has anything to do with whatever I did yesterday? Nah, I''m sure I had nothing to do with this.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    I had just managed to see all of the troops and ships when a shout can from below me. Looking down I saw a squad of twentyish men pointing boomers at me.

    I dove and shifted to my fire-form. Not a moment to soon. The weird sensation of metal rippling through my fire-form at ridiculous speed felt like a grim tickle. So I was laughing when I impacted dead center in their formation. Screams rose and vanished as a corona of flame crashed through the tidy group of tighty packed men.

    More building went up in flames as the too familiar scent of cooked person drifted through the area. I don''t know what happened exactly, but someone made a stupid decision somewhere. Because the Iceni battleships started to bombard the town. The tow that still had lots of their troops inside of it. Crashing blasts filled the air, shortly before the houses and men around me began to get torn to pieces. Heavy metal balls crushing heads and limbs and walls before exploding, sending shrapnel ripping in all directions and forming craters where they had hit.

    Unwilling to be left out of the fun, the Shoto battleships joined in on the bombardment.

    And suddenly the Iceni forces and I, who had been trying very hard to kill each other were doing our best to just survive. I huddled into an exposed cellar with a dozen Iceni troopers. They were shaking and I could see more than one looked like they had given up on surviving. Seeing those men give up lit a fire under me. I wasn''t going to sit back and hope I wouldn''t be blow into pieces. I flew into the sky, taking fire-form and searching frantially for a solution. I needed a plan, and fast. I may be able to turn into fire, and thus avoid most forms of damage, but it is freaking hard, and I can''t keep it up for long.

    Flying out to the ships and burning them one by ne was certainly doable, but I was determined to save those men trapped below me. Don''t ask me why, I don''t get it myself. Anyway, taking them out one by one would take too long. I needd to take most if not all of them out in a single sweeping blow. I looked around, hoping for some inspiration. And I saw the fires all around me.

    So, in desperation, I tried something I had never done before. I reached out to the fires around me. Blazes not of my making or control. I reached out to them, and called them into my arms. The whole town ceased burning. No fire escaped my grasp, down to the smallest of sparks and cinders.

    This was harder than I expected. This fire was not my own, and it didn''t much care to listen to me. It merely wanted to grow, to consume, to spread, until its death. Fearless and ravenous, it clashed against my will. Unable to cage it for long, I hurriedly flapped higher into the sky. I raised the shuddering orb of strange fire over my head, and unleashed it towards both fleets.

    Fast, faster than I ever expected streaks of hungry flames screamed towards their destination. I gave them a path to run on, but they ran so much more eagerly and madly than I expected. These flames couldn''t care less about my desires. They were hungry, they were determined to feast until their death. And I had dragged them from their meal. So when I gave them a path to a different meal, they nearly stampeded over me to get to it.

    The ships never stood a chance. Their proud white sails and bravely waving flags went first. The fire clung to the masts and swept down onto the decks. Small explosions sputtered and spat as the big boomers were consumed, along with their contents, then the fire hit the mothelode. And the battleships blew into splinters.

    Well, most of them. A few managed to fight off the fire. Drown it with water and sand. But their sails were still gone, and they had drifted out of alignment. Unable to fire on Freeport anymore.

    I was drained by the experience, and landed back on the ground next to the cellar. Exhausted.

    The few Iceni soldiers around me breathed sighs of relief as they watched their own fleet sink in the distance. Then they remembered me. Shifty looks were shared amongst them, and a few looked like they wanted to try and take me. Then their commander started barking orders. They snapped to attention, and started moving. They went one way, and I another. But not before I asked some questions of their commander.

    He was terse, but I believe he was honest.

    And more importantly he knew exactly what I wanted to know. Where to find one of my friends. Onica, specifically. Or, as he called her, Rear Admiral Onica. She was captain of a small fast cruiser. One who ran blockades and brought her deep into enemy, Shoto, territory. Where Onica worked her special brand of carnage. Her ship is scheduled to return to resupply at a Iceni navy base a few days N of here.

    I set a course based off of the weather vane. If I just keep flying straight I should see that base sometime tomorrow. Right? Well, it is freaking hard to fly in a perfectly straight line. Before long I had to face facts. I am lost, again.

    When in doubt, go with your gut. Thats what I always say, and my gut is saying go thataway! So I went thataway. More ocean, more islands, occasional ships. More and more with the five blue dots of Shoto though. I think I am going deeper into their territory, which means Onica is the other way probably. But my gut says this way, and I honestly have no better way of navigating.

    The Iceni flag is a black vertical column running dead centre top to bottom, with a light blue horizontal bar running across the very top. Just for comparison. Five blue dots on a circle, vs. two bars of color. Neither are really great flags to be honest. If I had to make a flag it would be a super sweet white banner, with gold thread outlining flames around a red handprint. So cool.

    Dinner was some delicious soup I shared with a nice elderly couple who lived all alone on a small island. They seemed nice. I wonder what it is like, to grow old with somone? To always have them in your life, and too know you will always be in theirs. I guess it depends on who the other person is, right?

    I wonder who I would be willing to spend my entire life around? I wonder if I will ever find out.

    Hm, no use worrying about it I suppose. It''ll happen if and when it does, and worrying about it won''t make it happen any sooner.

    Wonder where my gut is taking me though. If the past is any indication. Then it''s probably leading me somewhere horribly dangerous with delicious food.

    I can''t wait!

    Goodnight.

 Release the beast

    Hello again.

    There are times. Times when I just really want to punch myself in the face for being an idiot. They are rare, I mostly accept my mistakes with a sort of laughter fueled mania, and a gentle reminder to be more careful in the future. But they do exist.

    Like that time I burnt down a forest, not understanding the consequences for the poor critters who called the forest home. Or when I destroyed that wonderous Everflame forest while trying to help it. Or when I managed to get my friends all trapped underground, and then lost them all. Because I tried to take a shortcut.

    All my fault, all from my decisions, and all gone horribly awry.

    This, is not one of those times.

    Did I make a mistake? Yup. Did it lead to things going horribly awry for all involved? Yessiree! Would I do it all again? Absolutely! Because I think it was funny.

    Well, maybe not. If I could go back in time and change one thing, then this wouldn''t be that thing. Is what I am saying. It was painful, enlightening, and a tad embarrassing. But not life shattering. For me. Can''t speak for others.

    And as a man I think it is important to stand by your mistakes. What defines someone more? Their successes, trophies, and triumphs, or their failures, flaws, and flops? Personally, I hope it is the latter, because otherwise I am in desperate need of definition.

    Is that the proper use of that word? I''m sure its fine. Moving on!

    It all started when I woke up this morning, itchy and covered in rashes. I had fallen asleep in a patch of soft and fluffy plants. That turned out to be poisonous. This happens more often then you''d believe. In these parts its best to just assume all plants are poisonous. Anyway, I burnt all the poison off of my skin, and tried to sooth the burning itch with fire. Which didn''t work very well.

    Well, it did get rid of the itch. By setting every part of my body experiencing it on fire, replacing the raw red and itchy spots with fresh and healthy skin. Not sure why scars linger in the same places as always, but it doesn''t bother me. The problem here wasn''t healing the itch. Nope, my sudden burst into flame had set the surrounding brush on fire.

    Now, like I mentioned previously. Two of my biggest regrets revolve around forest fires. Very different kinds of forest fires, but still. I didn''t want to have another regret. So I tried the new trick I learned the other day, and pulled the fire off the trees and bushes. Gathering it into my arms as an orb. Pretty good sized ball of fire that, bigger than my head at least. I think. I haven''t ever really gotten a good look at my head. Because that''s where my eyes are. It was bigger than how big I imagine my head is.

    I spent a few minutes admiring the way the fire rolled and swayed between my hands. The colors of red, orange, white, and even faint blues dancing and twisting between my fingers. It was entrancing and beautiful.

    Honestly, I have no idea how long I spent just staring into the fire. But, things changed. The fire started moving faster, burning hotter, and fighting to be free more and more insistently. Which is when I recalled that fire not of my own making wasn''t very good at listening to me, and really hated sitting still.

    It had to burn, it had to consume. And I had no idea where to put it. Everything was either forest or ocean around here, and putting this beautiful and lovely fire to a bitter death at sea just felt wrong to me. So I did what any intelligent and caring individual would have done in the same situation.

    I ate it.

    I figured It would slowly assimilate into my own fires inside of me. Eventually making me even stronger for its addition.

    I was wrong. I was horribly wrong. The two did not like each other at all. They started to fight, to consume and reject one another. Expanding bursts of flame as they fought for supremacy, coiling around and rejecting one another.

    It gave me a really bad stomach ache.

    Of course, all this took time to develop. I had taken off into the skies shortly after devouring the stranger flame. So it wasn''t until I was high above nothing but the blue ocean that it hit me.

    I was experiencing a level of pain I had never known before. My flight path was all over the place, and I nearly crashed into the seas. Which in my state could well have been a death sentence. Roughly every fifteen minutes I would be unable to handle the pain anymore, and purposely send more tingles in to confront the foreign blaze.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    And it always made it much much worse.

    Literally only pouring more fuel on the fire inside me. As the longer it was contained, the fiercer it fought to be free. Paradoxically growing in its search for fuel to grow. It attacked my tingles wildly. Consuming them and eating at me, and all the violence was trapped in my poor tummy.

    Eventually I stopped trying to ''fix'' the problem with more fire. Hoping that the problem would solve itself in due time. That if I stopped feeding it then it would die down. That, eventually, it would work its way out of my system.

    Well, in a way, my hopes were realized.

    Flamethrower farts are a terrible thing. Especially indoors. Of a palace. During some kind of ball or something. Lots of ladies and gentlemen wearing lots of flammable clothes and perfumes and makeups. Really, pretty much the worst place to have noxious flamethrower farts.

    So, naturally, that''s where I managed to have them.

    Honestly, I don''t really recall all that clearly how I got into such a place and event. I was in a great deal of pain, and focusing mostly on not exploding from the forces violently fighting each other in my guts. I think, I was hailed by a ship. Landed on it. Some people talked a bit, I sweated and nodded while trying and failing to think of a way to get the unfriendly fire out of me without literally gutting myself. Self-mutilation should always be a last resort.

    Then... uh, the ship sailed somewhere. Obviously. And I was led to a carriage, just as the war inside me moved down from my stomach into my, uh, those long bits. The Whatchamacallems''. Interestings. That sounds right. The fight sunk into my interestings. The burning and bloating as war was waged inside of me had me curling into a ball of sweaty misery on the soft cushions inside the carriage.

    The carriage eventually rocked to a stop, and I was led outside by a very impatient and annoying man who seemed very much sure of his being better than me. He wore a black suit. Thats all I really recall of him. So he couldn''t have been all that important.

    Anyway, he then led me away from the carriage, into a big palace looking place. Through a whole bunch of suitably palatial looking corridors, or hallways, or whatever. I was in too much gastric distress to really give a flock. And finally into a big fancy room full of big fancy people.

    I was directed to stand in front of the fanciest people, just as the war inside me headed down into the final stretch. If you follow my meaning. The fancy people formed into orderly ranks. Row upon row of fat and bejeweled silk clad men and woman with powder on their face and oils in their hair.

    The fancier they were dressed the closer they stood to the fanciest couple on their fancy chairs. I was in the very front, not ten feet from the fanciest of peoples fancy chairs. Then everyone bowed to the fanciest ones. I did not. Until that unmemorable man in the strange black suit placed his hands on the back of my neck and pushed down.

    I bowed, and the sudden shift in muscles and organs opened a way out for the frantic foreign flames. Then, flamethrower fart. Flamethrower fart all over everything.

    It felt so good to finally release all that built up pressure!

    I guess its not hard to imagine what happened to the heavily clothed and oiled people directly behind me. Nothing good, to put it mildly. Their panicked screaming and fratically sprinting forms spread the fire about. Lighting up a few amazingly detailed and no doubt extremely expensive tapestrys hanging on the sides of the hall, throne room, whatever.

    I snuck out in all the confusion. Making sure to snag some of the lovely looking delicacys placed unobtrusively on a table in the corner. They were pretty tasty, but not very filling. Then it was just a simple matter of avoiding anyone who looked like they knew what they were doing as I made my escape as quietly as possible.

    I may not seem like much on a stealthy fella, but I don''t much care for fanfare. And I dislike escorts and guards immensely. So I avoided any trouble, and kept my flames to myself. Best not to make a scene.

    Next thing I know, I''m jumping over a wall and landing on the street.

    Since then I have wandered the very beautiful city built around the palace. Trying and failing to ignore the steadily increasing amounts of smoke coming from said palace. Fire does spread, doesn''t it? Not my problem, if they don''t want their palaces to be set on fire, then they shouldn''t invite strangers inside and then force them to bow.

    This was bound to happen eventually, wasn''t it. They should have known better.

    Some random wandering through the dense alleyways led me into the part of town with the people who try to stab you and take your stuff. I clubbed them with a table leg I found in a pile of trash and took their stuff instead. Borrowed some clothes as well. My trousers were a bit, er,blown out if you catch my drift.

    Then I wandered into a nicer part of town, had some nice filling meat on a skewer, paid for with the proceeds from my time clubbing robbers. Then I wandered around town the rest of the day. Just listening to the local chatter.

    Most people couldn''t shut up about the smoke coming from the palace. I heard a dozen theories in five minutes. None even close to the truth. Luckily that wasn''t the only thing fueling the local gossips.

    Word of a terrible and violent monster lady, who destroyed a neighboring kingdom was even more popular then talk of demon worshipping in the palace. That was one of the more favored theories behind the smoke. The descriptions of her differ. Jumping all the way from a twelve foot tall and disfigured monster woman, to a petite and dainty beauty. But in every tale one thing remains the same. A very distinctive hat. Tall, and with a red and gold feather tucked into the hat band.

    The lady could be either Onica or Lena. If the lady exists at all.

    But the hat sounds a lot like Fen. How many fancy hats like him can there even be? I am assuming that it is. So I will be heading towards this destroyed kingdom tomorrow. It is, or was, a vassal of the Shoto empire, much like the one I am currently in. See if I can''t pick up his trail.

    I hope I don''t get lost again.

    I left the city proper just before dusk really set in. Finding a nice tree to sleep in for the night. It''s probably poisonous, but it''s all alone. So if I burn it in the morning it won''t be a forest fire at least. I am definitely not eating strange fires anymore regardless. Gotta learn from my mistakes.

    Goodnight.

 Lost and found

    HA! I FOUND FEN!

    I knew there was only one gold and red feathered tophat that would be terrorizing these seas! Sure enough, it was mine! I''m kinda lucky like that.

    I found him on an island. That was surrounded by storms. Broke my collarbone on a boulder getting into the eye of the storm, but it was totally worth it! Because in the middle of the lightning filled hurricane that was ravaging the countryside was my buddy Fen Worthy!

    And a very shattered city. Nothing aboveground was standing, and almost everything was on fire. I''m so proud of him! I taught him how to ravage you know.

    Anyway, our reunion was beautiful!

    I came bursting out of the raging tempest like a half drowned and battered cow fired from a shoddy catapult. So, I kinda just flopped wetly out of it with lots of gurgly moaning. Not my proudest moment. My aforementioned gurgles were heard by Fen, who came to investigate and exterminate.

    And so he saw me bending over to remove my soggy trousers, and zapped me good! I''ve never dried off so fast before! I turned around and lobbed a small giant fireball at him, and then we recognized each other. So we kept fighting.

    Accusations of dopplegangers, which is a thing apparently, and mind games came from him. Accompanied by lighning bolts and wind blades, of course. I just kinda got into it with him because it sucks to fight someone who doesn''t resist, and I didn''t want to ruin our reunion by not fighting.

    Which makes a lot less sense now than it did at the time.

    Anyway, eventually he decided I was real/myself. Which is when he started crying. When hats cry, it''s more sound than waterworks, but his brim did get a bit soggy. I had a good cry myself, and then we cried together.

    Then he told me his story, but I''ll let him write that himself.

    *****

    Greetings, it has been too long!

    So from the top then? We were heading into the whirlpool, everything was normal. Then we got into it, and the Wearer collapsed and started kind of twitching, like an electrocuted flounder. But, the structure of the tinglewood was secure, and we didn''t really need him to do much. So we just kind of nudged him into a corner and Onica started showing us how to play cards.

    I was better than Julius, but Lena was better than me, and I think Onica was cheating. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    Anyway, time passed, no idea how much. We played a lot of cards though. So probably a while. Feeding the Wearer was fun, if you put things on his mouth while he sleeps he bites and eats them. Even if they''re not food.

    Spiders.

    Then the thingy changed. The feeling of movement, shifted from a bumpy ride along fast currents, to a slow and steady ascent. So we figured we had finally left the caves, or at least we heavily hoped we had left the caves. Lena said the water was different, but I didn''t notice any real difference in the air.

    More time passed.

    Then. Out of nowhere.

    BRAKOWKAKOW!!!! Smashed.

    Everything was a mess, I threw a bubble up as fast as I could, but the only one close enough for me to save was Onica, she had been wearing me at the moment of smashed. No idea what happened to the others beyond their survival. Anyway. We latched onto some rising wreckage of the tinglewood, and rode it to the surface.

    Where we were saved by a ship from the Iceni navy many days later.

    We were lost, hungry, and hurt. So we had to make some concessions with the stupid Iceni Queen. Georgia. She isn''t a very nice person. I heard she had eight different husbands decapitated. And keeps their heads in her trophy room. We agreed to help her fight the Shoto Empire for a year, and in exchange they wouldn''t execute the rest of our friends, who they claimed to have found. They wouldn''t even let us see them!

    Which was super suspicious and prompted Onica and I to do some sleuthing when she had healed up enough. We found out where Lena and Julius were. Working for the Shoto much like we were working for the Iceni, and possibly for the same reason. But we couldn''t find anything about the Wearer.

    They claimed he was locked up, but if that was the case then why wasn''t anything burning? Super suspicious. I got so worried about him, that when I dozed off lately I''d imagine him. I had started seeing him in my dreams, and then sometimes while I was awake.

    But it always turned out to be something else. A burning corpse, a clump of seaweed, a dumb bird. I always zapped them, just to check if they were real. I knew the Wearer would respond with fire, and I was right! I knew he was too much of a violent lunatic to not huck a fireball at something that attacked him!

    Anyway, we couldn''t find him.

    So we played along, we couldn''t find a good way to contact Lena and Julius yet either. Oddly enough, requests to write letters to the enemy were denied or disrupted. They have been keeping us separated lately. I''ve been going island hopping, while they send Onica deep into enemy waters to assassinate key targets.

    But now that we know where the Wearer is, there is no reason to listen to them. It''s time to get the crew back together, and make these people pay for lying to us. Make them all pay! Especially Mike!

    That guy is the worst.

    *****

    So, there it is. Still no idea what smashed the tinglewood bubble. But I wager that is a question that''ll get answered eventually. At least one of us must have seen what happened. Right?

    And now, if you''ll excuse me. I need to go punish Fen for feeding me spiders while I was passed out, and for calling me a violent lunatic!

    Goodnight.

 Ego

    Hello again. Today Fen and I sunk three fleets, mix of Iceni and Shoto. Four Merchant convoys, which I thought were navy fleets. And one island. By accident.

    It was a very small island, so, yeah. Not as bad as it sounds.

    Though, I suppose if you asked the people who were living on the island when we sunk it they''d disagree. Good luck with that though. I don''t think anyone survived.

    On account of all the total destruction. Things may have gotten out of hand.

    It all started with breakfast. A small Shoto fleet showed up out of the blue, and looked to be wanting to bombard the island we were on. Hard to enjoy your eggs and toast with all that going on. So I limbered up with some stretches, and got mentally prepare to ruin someones day.

    Which is when Fen bet he could sink more of the ships than me. Obviously I accepted that bet. Because I was confident I would not lose to a four year old hat.

    And so the hunt began.

    Ripping winds shredded sails and sailorsof the first ship with equal vigor. I smashed happily through hulls of the second and third and left the wreckage behind me to quickly sink and sizzle from the gaping holes in them at water level. Winged goats divebombed the decks of the fourth and I left it burning merrily away. Content to let the ocean take them into its eternal embrace. Then Fen hit the last one with an air hammer, smashing into into splinters.

    In the end we tied. Which was unacceptable. Fen claimed that it didn''t count unless we had actually sunk the ship, so the one I set on fire but he ripped to pieces went to his score instead of mine! So we were tied, 2-2. I contested the ruling, but without a third party we were at an impasse. So I accepted the ruling as long as we continued the bet.

    So we found another fleet. Another four warships, Iceni this time. We tied again. Then another. Shoto, tied. The merchant convoys were found in between the 2nd and 3rd fleet. The first had four ships, two and two. Tied. the second merchant convoy had five. Fen pulled ahead, three and two. The next we saw had four, tied again. Fen still leading and gloating. The final merchant fleet had five, and I managed to snag the difference.

    So, after a lot of fun and games, we were still tied. Merchants only counted for half a point per ship. Because hey weren''t really armed. We started bickering about who had better firepower. I still stand by my arguments. Fire is fire!of course it has morefirepower than wind and lightning.Unable to find any more ships, and with the sun at its zenith, we came across a small island. A very unlucky small island with a smoking volcano smack dab in the middle of it.

    "See that?" I said to my confrontational headgear. "Thats a real disaster waiting to happen, explosions, molten rock, choking smoke, and boulders raining from the sky. Nothing else compares to an erupting volcano. Especially those overgrown farts you call ''hurricanes''." I''ll admit, I was a bit salty at being evenly matched by a four year old, and a hat. So those words were mostly spite.

    I was looking for a fight, and Fen was determined to give me one.

    Long story short, Fen would rustle up a hurricane, and I would rile up the volcano. Then we''d sit back and watch to determine which was the true disaster.

    I swear. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Neither of us gave a second thought about the small port and city nestled beneath the volcano. I regret that.

    I flew up and into the volcano, plunging down into the magma and then digging deeper. Down, down, down, into the depths of the molten mess I was determined to make go kablooey. I couldn''t really breathe, so I had to move quickly. Once I figured I was deep enough, I reached down with my will. Deep, far deeper than I had ever seen or gone my will delved. I never reached bottom. My mental tether stretched taut long before that.

    I pulled the heat down there, towards me. Upwards, as much of it, and as fast as I could manage. I was starting to really run low on breath, so when the sudden surge and upflow reached me I happily rode it up to the the surface. And when I burst from the crown of the volcano I immediately caught a lightning bolt with my face.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Surging streamers of light and explosive noise were dancing fitfully through the air. They were joined shortly after by the fruits of my labor. A rumbling wave of molten stone accompanied by a blast of noise so deafening that I felt the world shake under its roar. The thunder was muted, even as lightning stepped and slid between the boulders of rapidly cooling magma that filled the air around me.

    Far overhead I could vaguely make out a dot. Correctly assuming it was Fen I flew up to meet him. Once we were on the same level I took a look around. The lighting seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere. Red ribbons ran down the sides of the lush volcano. Burning paths through the underbrush. Waves of ash swept down slope as well. Carrying gray choking death before the relatively slow lava flows. A dense cloud of black smoke drifted from the top of the volcano, and occasional rumbles announced the arrival of more lava streams and lava bombs that filled the air.

    Before that black cloud reached us, however, it began to shift. Slowly swirling around itself and ourwards. I looked at where it was headed. From all directions, heavy gray clouds were rushing towards us. I cannot describe the towering thunderheads adequately. The way they kept shifting and swirling as the sped inwards, it defies description. The occasional burst of lighting and thunder highlighted their beauty with a hint of menace.

    Then, the closing clouds met the black volcanic smog. The denser black smoke dove down, and the already towering thunder heads shot even higher. Blocking the island from our view. The sharp roaring cracks of thunder, accompanied by the flashes of lightning played counterpoint to the deep rumbly blasts from the still erupting volcano.

    Unable to see clearly whose disaster was winning we dove into the clouds. Which was a mistake. The flying semi molten bombs were being rapidly cooled by the rain inside the storm, causing them to explode into razor sharp shrapnel. These fragments seemed to somehow piss off the hurricane, as the rapidly scattering dust and shrapnel almost always got hit by lightning.

    Leading to electrified clouds of volcanic glass filling the air and pummeling the ground. A ground that was being rather badly shaken by the unrelenting shudder of each eruption. So Fen and I tried to dodge around the lightning-knife-clouds that danced among the insanely strong winds and pounding rain within the super storm we had made. While the poor city below us was torn burned shaken and shattered by the storm we had wrought.

    We dove deeper, nearing the ground. I can''t say if we intended to try and save some of the poor souls down there, but if we were, then we were far too late. The ash flows had mixed with the rain. Making mudslides of runny gray sludge. They had covered most of the island already, and were now bleeding into the seas around it. Anyone down there was dead before we could get to them. The seas around the island actually boiled and steamed. Looks like my eruption had triggered a few other nearby undersea volcanoes.

    Pretty shortly after that the island started to crack apart.

    Ragged crevices cleaving through the earth, and rapidly filling with both chilling rain and boiling lava. The blasts from the original volcano were only increasing in noise and intensity. And at this point we had to get the fuck out of the mess we had made. Flying straight was impossible, since we couldn''t see anything, and the winds refused to cooperate, So we started making our way outwards and upwards along with the swirling winds.

    Things were officially out of our hands by this point. I couldn''t possibly stop the eruptions, and Fen had no way of calming the winds.

    So we fought our way free of the nightmarish super storm we had made, licking our many many wounds, and watched.

    Which was a bit before the huge waves started showing up. Massive crashing behemoths of water came from all directions, no idea why, or where they had originated. But damn if they weren''t there. The water around the island would actually run away for a bit, probably to complain to its big brother about the mess we had made. With the ocean gone we could make out the half-dozen volcanoes that had been covered before.

    The the big-brother waves came in. Thank goodness they''re loud, because otherwise we would have been caught completely off guard by them. Possibly even caught up in them and carried back into the storm. They crashed into the super storm, vanishing into the dense rain and clouds. Massive blasts of steam and sound announced their arrival on the island.

    This cycle kept repeating. Ocean runs away, big-brother wave comes, huge smashing sounds. The sun started to descend, and the super storm kept on raging. Finally, within only a few hours of its conception, the storm cleared. And the island was gone. Not a trace, besides the steaming ocean and ashy water.

    So, we decided to just be tied today. Next time though, I will win.

    Dinner was some pasta at a restaurant on a different island we got to just before sundown. Quite tasty really. Red sauce and little pockets of noodle filled with some kind of cheese.

    The locals talked of tremors and large waves. Beached and battered ships high on the beaches showed that the waves here had nothing on the ones we had seen. Still impressive though.

    If Fen is right, and I am assuming he is, then we should be getting pretty close to Onica.

    We rented a hotel room for the night.

    Beds are nice.

    Goodnight.

 If I were an assassin, where would I be?

    HEY! FOUNSH ONIDER!

    She was killing some pepeoel, but ia think she wsas jappy to see eus.

    Imman gonna throws up. Brellbebr.

    *****

    *Sigh* Well, the Fool is being foolish. Nice to see some things never change. It was a lovely surprise to see Fen and Fool flying towards me this afternoon. I only wish they hadn''t done so just as I was attempting to sneak into an estate and end the lives of a few within.

    All their screaming and crying alerted the guards, and we had to kill everyone inside. Tiresome.

    Afterwards we celebrated our reunion with a few more assassinations. My lecherous louse of a ''superior officer'' for one. There are more names and necks on my list, but it''s a good start.

    After finishing the cleanup we headed towards the docks of Perisporti, the city/kingdom I was sent to spill blood this time. We need a ship. I refuse to be carted about like luggage by the Fool, and Fen can''t quite lift me for long enough to island hop.

    So we were checking out the docks and wharfs, not sure if there is a difference between the two honestly, for a good ship to steal.

    Then the Fool managed to get talked into joining a drinking game with some tattooed and grimy sailors.

    Need I say more.

    I believe our best bet for a vessel is the Kins Oath, a simple looking ship with good bones. The owners are amenable to us buying passage, and their holds do not stink like those of slavers. I hope they don''t try to cross us. It''d be a shame to have to kill all aboard.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

    I''ll keep the records of my time as an Iceni agent brief. I was surrounded by chauvinistic and lecherous old men. I castrated half of them before the rest got the message. I did not enjoy my time with the Iceni. I am looking forward to finishing what I started.

    About the events that led to my time with the Iceni. Something smashed the Ivers Dream. Fen saved my life. I spent several days treading water and slowly starving before we were picked up by the Iceni. I healed quickly and I have more than paid my debt for my rescue.

    Now it is their turn to pay. For their lies and greed. For my patience, and for all the blood they had me spill. This is not a cheap bill they have built up. But I am sure I can get them to pay it.

    I know where the Iceni have ''relocated'' the tinglewood they salvaged from our vessels destruction. I bet the Shoto have some as well. I believe the best course of action is to reunite with Lena and Julius first, then go and reclaim the tinglewood. It is possible that they could move the tinglewood in the meantime. But I think it''s unlikely.

    They believe their royal vaults impenetrable. It would please me to disprove that theory, before lifting their burdensome heads from their shoulders. That vile woman had the gall to order me to kill Lena!

    Unacceptable. I will savor her last breath all the more for it.

    Not to mention, while we are raiding the royal vaults we might stumble across the weapon they used to sunder the Ivers Dream.

    My investigations have turned up surprisingly little about it. Only vague mentions of ancient relics of terrible power.

    I can hardly wait to get my hands on it.

    *****

    Yah! Oniders baaack! We gotta fnds the way to LEnas Jullius. then we can go an boorsh, with the kapoW! and theyll alll be like noooooooo, splatts,smashd,gruk.

    Its gonna be epic!

    The tattootttoo men are sleeping now, IAMWEENNER! WINNER!

    Im so sleepy jsuut gon clos eys fro a secnd.

 Calm waters

    Hello again. Not a lot happened today.

    No pirates, no navies, no disasters, or boredom fueled ideas. It was a nice slow easy day.

    Like, if you were a fish, constantly fighting your way upstream to wherever fish go, to do whatever it is fish do. Its been a long trip. You''ve been dodging bears, climbing waterfalls, and avoiding awkward eye contact with strangers. Days and days pass, filled with tension and stress. And then, suddenly, you find yourself in calm waters, no rushing current, no dangers, no strangers. Just gently flowing sunwarmed waters and you.

    So you relax. You savor the quiet, the stillness, the peace. Because it is something rare and beautiful to you.

    That was today. The still pool, the calm water, the breath before the dive.

    I needed this. More than I care to admit. I''ve been go, go, going for a long time now.

    This is why its nice to have people like Onica around. They do all the panicking, all the freaking out. They deal with the details, and people like me just keep on coasting. ''Course, you have to be careful about not pushing them too far. Because if you do they might just up and leave, and then you''d have to do their job.

    And I for one am terrible at it.

    So It is of the utmost importance that you don''t slack off directly in front them. They really hate that.

    There''s an art to it really, and a skill. There is a, flow, I guess you could call it. There is a flow to a group. Patterns and movements that let someone who knows them kind of discern how things are gonna play out. What will make someone laugh, what will make someone cry, what will make someone angry.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

    The actions, interactions, and reactions are always moving. Trying to focus on them is like trying to watch the wind. Pretty useless.

    For example. Onica had a very large breakfast this morning. So she wasn''t hungry yet when lunch came around. She is also one of those who feel a complusion to clear their plate. So when we were eating lunch she was focusing on making herself eat and finish a dish she didn''t particularily want or care for.

    Which made her grumpy. Which is the perfect time to try a few jokes on her.

    Sure enough, she punched me in the throat.

    Exactly as I had predicted.

    Why did I do it if I knew I''d be getting punched in the throat?

    Simple, I can heal easily enough, and I love how her tail moves when she gets pissed.

    Now, going back to our first example, Onica absolutely hates it when she feels like she is the only one doing any work, so she''ll try to find others, and then give them work to do. Nothing bad, just stuff like clean this, cook that, go bathe, feed Julius, find Fen, the usual kind of chores.

    But for today, I just wanted to not do much of anything at all. So I tuned in to the flow. I managed to alwayslook busy when she was on the prowl, but never actually got much of anything done. She normally projects this air of tension and focus around her, so its pretty easy to figure out when she is about to come around the corner and pick up a bit of sewing or start cleaning a fish or something.

    Of course, thats only when she''s not in her killer mood. Once she decides to end some lives, shes gone. No sign, no sound, nothing.

    TheBAM!!! She strikes. End of a story.

    Luckily she wasn''t all assassiny today, she gets super intense when she wants to go hunting but can''t.

    This one time, she stalked me for hours. I had no idea, everytime she could have cut my throat she would gently drag a dyed feather across my neck. I didn''t notice at all until Lena pointed it out to me at dinner, and by then I had dozens of stripes all over my neck. The dye didn''t even wash off well, so I had those marks for days.

    I think this was back when we were all cooped up on theIvers Dream in those underwater tunnels. Everyone was acting out a bit back them.

    Well, this was a nice quiet day in comparison, and now its a nice quiet night.

    I wager things will go off tomorrow.

    Wish me luck.

    Goodnight.

 Not-nots return

    Hello again! Guess what I found trundling about on a random beach!

    Not-nots! And they are just as delicious as I remember!

    Boy, does that distinctive smell ever bring me back. Good times, good times. The world was strange and interesting. Nowadays its just strange and captivating. Hm, now that I think of it, not much has changed.

    The not-nots around hereabouts are rather strange looking though. They still have their rocky carapace, but its much more colorful. Bright reds and blues and yellows. Worst camouflage I have ever seen.

    But thats fine by me, because it makes them easier to find and catch, and they come in different flavors!

    The red ones taste sweetish, and send fun tingling sensations through my limbs. Kind like a small zap from Fen. The more you eat the more the tingling grows, until you can hardly even stand up or walk straight from the odd numbness. So I ended up falling and fumbling all over the beach until I decided to just take a nap until it wore off.

    The yellow ones have a neat citrus aftertaste, which is just fantastic! They don''t make my limbs tingle though. Instead I get funny random patterns forming on my skin. They kind of look like bruises. If bruises were orange and red. They went away after a little bit, so I had another yellow shelled not-not. Its fun to watch they patterns grow and fade, never looking the same. The first time it looked like broad and short stripes climbing my ribs. The second time I had neat and very fine spirally vine looking patterns running along my arms and legs.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    The colors changed too. At first they were mostly red, then they faded into orange, then they just kind of faded away altogether. I couldn''t get more patterns no matter how many yellow not-nots I ate. And I ate a lot!

    Then there were my favorites! The blue not-nots! They tasted unique, sweet and savory and salty. One of the tastiest thing I have ever eaten. They didn''t just taste good though, they had my favorite side-effect. They made me see things!

    I spent a good couple hours chasing visions around the island and beach. Wee little men with great big ears, big cats with orange fur and black stripes, tiny little versions of that winged fire lady I danced with back so long ago in the lonely desert. All the ladies were smiling, it was... it was such a good smile...

    Whoops, almost drifted off there, gotta stay awake, need to finish.

    Some giant tentacly thing smacked our boat onto the beach. I roasted the ocean, but I think it got away, one tentacle less though. I tried to help dislodge our ship from the sand, but I just kept setting it on fire. So I got sent off to explore the island and find some food and water.

    Which is where I found the not-nots.

    Oddly enough nobody else was willing to eat them, but Onica did take a few. She came back with little vials of colored fluid.

    Seasonings. Now thats smart, I would never have thought of capturing their flavor for use later. I tried one, they tasted just like the not-nots did, but way more powerful in both flavor and side-effect. I tried a red one and nearly collapsed as I was nearly blinded by the sweetness, and I lost feeling in my limbs wthin seconds.

    I spent the next while flopping about on the ground.

    We may have to dilute that a bit before we cook with it.

    Hard to eat without using your hands, and face, and stuff.

    Whoo. My head is spinning.

    I''m gonna head to bed.

    Haha, that rhymes.

    Goodnight.

 Poisons and toxins for idiots

    Hello again. Today I got yelled at by Onica.

    Apparently, those fun side-effects were not, as I put it, flavor enhancing fun. But rather, as she put it, debilitating toxins that I only survived because of my stupidly robust immune system gained from consuming every deadly and dangerous object I could get my hands on.

    I think my decription is better. Much shorter at least. Possibly less accurate though.

    Anyway, this all started because she noticed me adding some of the red not-not juice to this mornings bland gunky porridge that serves as a staple of the diet on the ship we chartered. I figured that nice sweet flavor would put a pep in eveyones step.

    I was wrong.

    She was so busy yelling at me for adding ''poison'' to the dish that we both failed to notice that everyone had already loaded up on it and started eating. Personally, I think the crew is to blame, just as much as I am. Who sits down and starts shoveling food into their gob when an irate lady is in the corner screaming about someone poisoning said food?

    Idiots, the lot of them.

    Pretty shortly the crew started dropping like flies. Heavy, fat, paralyzed flies. I tried to sneak off while Onica was distracted with all paralyzed and puking crew members.

    It didn''t work.

    So. I spent the rest of the day being taught, in extreme detail, what constitutes a poison, toxin, or venom. And the various ways to locate, handle, and contain said nasty buggeroos. I also had to carry all the crew outside, and prop them us on their sides with their head over the side of the deck, so they could all puke into the beautiful blue waters instead of the dark wooden planks.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    I got puked on. A lot. And had to clean up the mess of nasty sour smelling gunk in the mess.

    All in all, not my favorite day.

    Still, it wasn''t all bad. I learned some neat tricks. If you collect the secretions of the gold-toed tree frog in a clay pot, and mix it with some pitch, you get this sick green garbage. Its all sticky and nasty, an if you light it on fire the resulting smoke drives people absolutely crazy!

    Like, biting each others noses off crazy!

    According to Onica at least. So now all I need to do is find some gold-toed tree frogs, and figure out what pitch is. Then I can make insanity smoke bombs!

    Which, come to think of it, sounds terrible... Am I a bad person?

    ... Nah!

    Anyway, I also learned how to clean up vomit. Well, I mostly learned hownot to clean up vomit.

    Don''t try to wash it away with bucket loads of water, it''ll just get carried into corners and hard to reach places.

    Don''t try to burn it, the smell is horrendous, and you''ll set the ship on fire. The captain cried again when I did that...

    Don''t try picking it up with your bare hands, because the smell and consistency will makeyou barf, and then you just have more clean up to do.

    On that note, don''t trynotto barf when you really need to barf, because its coming, and you cannot stop it. If it can''t go through your mouth, then it''ll come out your nose. And thatreally, really, stings!

    Lets see, don''t try to scoop it into a bucket, you''ll just push it all around. And, uhm... Oh!Definitely, do NOT!!! try to coax wild animals to board your ship and eat the vomit! They poop EVERYWHERE!!!

    Then you''ve got to clean up pooandthrow a bunch of animals overboardand the captain cries again.

    In the end, the best way is just soak up the vomit with some sand or sawdust or somehing like that, then sweep and shovel it into the glorious blue sea.

    Huh, I guess I learned a lot today.

    Good for me!

    Well, I''m tired, and for some reason I''m not really hungry today, so I guess I''ll skip dinner and head straight to bed.

    Oh, but before I forget, note to self: get revenge on Fen for when he blew up a pile of vomit. I spent an hour scrubbing the walls and ceiling in the mess! And before I did that little chunks kept falling and landing in my hair!

    Ugh, on second thought, I''m gonna go take a flame bath before bed.

    Good night.

 Jump scare

    Hello again! Today I punched a guy so hard his head exploded!

    Well, to be fair, he was mostly rotted already. It was more like slamming my fist into a wad of soft and smelly cheese rather than crushing a skull. Let me restate that for emphasis. Soft. Smelly. Cheese.

    Not much fun.

    I was napping on he deck, minding my own business, when the captain decided to give us a scenic tour of a local landmark. Wait, if the landmark is out at sea, then would that be a seamark? Must ask Onica later...

    Anyway, thats how we wound up drifting by a desolate rock formation known as The Buccaneers Ballroom. Which I''ll admit, doesn''t sound like much. Personally I think its a crappy name, something like Gallowstone, or deadmans isle would be more appropriate.

    See, its a stretch of barely submerged stones and coral reefs. And the Shoto navy have a tradition. Whenever they capture a particularilly bad pirate, they capsize the poor buggers vessel on the stones. Then they hang the crew by the necks from the yardarms.

    What with the constant breezes in the area the corpses swing and sway from the skewed masts of the broken ships. In what might possibly be considered a dance. As time passes, the ships rot, and so do the pirates hanging from them. One such example of ship and crew had been left leaning precariously on the edge of the stones. The mast hanging out over the open waters beside it, and one very old and very dead pirate left dangling from its collection of frayed and weathered nooses.

    And the captain of our ship, in his brilliance, decided it''d be ''fun'' to sail directly under that mast and carcass.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    By some terrible luck, I was napping on the deck directly below the bad pirate, when the noose finally gave up the ghost. The ragged snap woke me from my daydreams, and I opened my eyes just in time to stare blankly into the empty eye sockets of a quickly descending rotted corpse.

    My mind froze, so my body reacted first. By punching the twice fallen pirate right in his/her/its squishy and rotted face.

    *Phlabth*

    So. Gross.

    I panicked, I''ll admit it. I set myself on fire and started shrieking like a small child who dropped their candy onto a wasp nest. My very late cremation of the unfortunate sea robber set the ship on fire, again. And the captain cried, again. Only this time the cheeky cuss was laughing so hard he nearly fell overboard.

    Thats what happened today.

    Well, that, and some other stuff. Just the usual though. Wake up, fall out of hammock, curse at hammock. Eat breakfast, find what appears to be a human tooth in the gruel, swear of breakfast forever. Wander around the deck, just kinda getting in the crews way, find most annoying place to be and nap there. Wake up, eat fish for lunch, swear off fish forever, go back to napping. Then corpse explosion happened, threw up lunchand breakfast. Spend rest of day constantly burning all traces of gross nasty dead guy goo off of me.

    Y''know, the usual. I''ll probably do it all again tomorrow. Well, except the corpse junk. I hope.

    Oh, and Onica made some poisons, and Fen has started sketching stuff. I don''t know what stuff, he''s super bad at art. Then again, it was his first attempt, and he is four. And a hat. So I guess, what do I know, right?

    Maybe he''s a brilliant artist as far as the hat community is concerned? I''ll say this much, it is without a doubt the best art I have seen a hat draw. Period.

    Hm, maybe I should try and set him up with a gallery or something? First artist in the world who is also a piece of attire? It might work. I''ll ask Onica later.

    Dinners on, I''ll go have a bite to eat then head to bed. We should be nearing Lenas last know location in a few days. We''ve been making good time if you ignore all the accidents and ship fires. Fen is keeping the wind in our sails. Literally.

    I can''t wait to see her again!

    Goodnight!

 Mistress of the tides

    Hello again. Today we found Lena and Julius!

    If I am being honest, I suppose it would be more accurate to say she found us.

    We sailed as normal for most of the day. Nothing seemed out of sorts, until the lookout or peeper, or whatever that fella in the crowsnest is called, started screaming about something. We saw what within moments. A massive bank of fog was coming on, and fast. How something so massive escaped out collective eyes is beyond me. Before anyone could make a move to try and avoid sailing inside. It was already sweeping over us.

    Inside was eerily quite. The water stilled, the unceasing caress of waves against our hull, ceased. The whimpers and superstitious muttering of the crew died inches from their lips in the cool fog. Then, like the distant beams of a dying star, soft music drifted to us. A single flute, stretching the silence past its breaking point, and yet wearing the silence like a worn oft-patched cloak.

    As we strained to hear the distant tune, ice started forming on the deck. Rimming the rails, and climbing the ropes. The still sheets of the sails became sheer drifts of ice. I stayed near Onica and Fen, putting out just enough heat to keep the ice around us at bay. I was curious to see where this was going. The sailors were not so fortunate. Their feet froze to the deck. Ice crawled steadily up their shaking frames. Finally ceasing its approach just under their necks.

    They seemed, stunned. Dazed by the cold and the otherworldy music. They didn''t struggle, several even fell to the deck, to let the ice take them quicker. Like they were prostating themselves before death itself. It was quite terrifying, watching grown men and woman lose all willingness to struggle, to live. To just literally lay down to die.

    All the while, the music grew louder. Sadness, desolation, utter loneliness and despair. These were the feelings wrought by that single drifting flute. A tragic melody. It seemed to speak of homes lost, bridges broken, paths separated.

    Then, the mist seemed to coalesce into a fleet of ships. We were surrounded. Dozens of massive warships. Lined in frost, and crewed by people in heavy clothes. I noticed there were ships and crew of both Iceni and Shoto origin. All their heraldry and flags bore a single image. An icy blue spiral on a deep blue field. The largest of the ships loomed directly in front of us.

    Then I saw them.

    Lena was curled up on the seat of a ridiculously huge throne of ice. She was cradling her blue flute in her hands, and she had Julius snuggled up on her lap. The mood was somber, the air fraught with tension and dread. I shattered that stupid nonsense when I burst into laughter. Booming barks of joy and hilarity ripping from my chest. Finally! We were back!

    I saw Lena flinch, while Julius'' ears shot upwards. They both whipped their heads towards me. Their eyes equal parts disbelief and hope. I swept my hands up into the air, and sprayed a swathe of dancing firey butterflies that lit up the fog, adding color and life to the gray dead air. That was no atmosphere for a reunion!If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    Before anyone else did anything, Onica was already next to Lena. She scooped the little one out of her silly throne, and I kid you not, started grooming her short blue hair. Julius took that as his cue, and rocketed towards me. He slammed into my chest, and brought me crashing to the icy deck. Then we started blowing fire into each others face. Enjoying the sensation of each others flames. I had missed him horribly. He was my oldest companion by far, and the one I was the closest to.

    Fen added his own addition to my flock of firey butterflies. Dozens of lightning bugs zipped joyfully though the air as he drifted quickly towards Lena. Who seemed unable, or unwilling, to do anything besides burrow deeper into Onicas chest and cry. Happy tears, I hope.

    I picked up Julius, plopped him on my head, and flew over to them. When I landed on the deck near them Lena shot out of Onicas arms and crashed into my chest. Then she promptly set about soaking my shirt. I wrapped her up in a hug, radiating warmth. Onica hugged her from behind, Fen settled on her head, and Julius sent good feeling from his perch on top of my head. There is only so much Lena to go around after all.

    We spent a very long time like that. Just enjoying being together again. Eventually two people came over to us, walking very carefully. One of them coughed, clearly intent on breaking into our reunion. I very nearly incinerated them both. Luckily, for them, Lena looked up and then left our happiness huddle.

    She skipped over to them, turned to looked at us and sent a blinding beaming smile right into our faces. "Guys! Let me introduce my suber-, subdor-, followers!" She twirled and waved her left hand at the short fellow on the right. "This is Rear Admiral Connor Truestock! Leader of an Iceni battlegroup I caught!" Then with another artful twirl she gestured to the lady to the left. "And this is Mistress of Ships Lady Ardreia Su! She was in charge of the entire Shoto fleet at one time!"

    The Rear Admiral was a weathered and wiry dwarf, whose dark brown hair had left the top of his head completely, seemingly having retreated to just over his lips in a massive mustache. While Lady Ardeia was a tall elf with cold eyes and a vicious scar running from just over her left eye back into her hairline. Which left her with a slender shock of white hair running through her otherwise inky black locks.

    "They decided to renounce their loyalty to their former lords and follow me instead! On account of how awesome I am!" Lena continued proudly. I examined the pair closely. Connor seemed affable enough, and seemed to consider Lena a younger sister or daughter. I was more concerned about Ardeia. Her eyes were cold as the deepest seas, but when they fell on Lena they lit up with the fevered hues of fervor and zealotry. Which was weird.

    "Con-con, Ardi, these are my friends!" She indicated us, with a proud smile on her face. "They''re the best people ever!" She paused, seeming to consider something. "Besides me, of course. Try and get along. Ok?"

    We spent the next few minutes shaking hands and getting to know one another. I am seriously curious what Lena did to get two high ranking officers to turn their coats for her. The pair of them were very different. Connor jumped right from handshakes to dirty jokes, but Ardeia seemed cautious but curious about us. Connor, Julius, Fen, and I went looking for some food and drinks. While behind us I caught a glimpse of Onica, Lena, and Ardeia heading off in a different direction. Onica was fiddling with some glass vials, and passed some to Ardeia.

    I think we will all get along just fine.

    After that we started preparing for a ridiculously huge feast and party. The mist receded, but still lingered around the fleet. Keeping unwanted guests out of our hair. I''ll have to get Lena to tell me all about what happened since we got split up. But thats a problem for tomorrow!

    Tonight is all about celebrating our reunion!

    Goodnight.

 The Adventures of Lena

    Hiya Mr. Book! Lena here!

    Big bro is still sleeping off the party from last night, so I snuck you out of his bag. Now its time for me to tell you about the adventures I''ve had!

    First story! The burst bubble, and the sunken city!

    By Lena.

    I was petting Julius and playing with my new backpack when the bubble we had made out of all our super special wood got smashed. My backpack looks like a kitty, big sis Onica made it for me. She is suuuuper good with needles! The ocean came in to say hello, but it came too quickly. All my friends where swept away before I could do anything.

    I made my Ripples protect me and Julius, and went down looking for my friends. But I couldn''t find them.

    I did find a cool city on the ocean floor. It was all dark and gunky, so I bet it''s been down there for a long time. It was sitting right next to a huge canyon thingy. It was super dark down there, so I didn''t go in.

    THE END!!!

    Second story, The chained Lady, and the glacial graveyard.

    By Lena, afterword by Julius (He wants to say hi too)

    When we headed back to the surface, because there isn''t a lot of air on the bottom of the ocean, we saw something weird.

    A whole bunch of people where diving down towards us. We passed them on the way up, and thats when we noticed they were all chained up. Kind of like big sis was when we first found her, except Onica had way more chains than these people did. They weren''t diving, they were sinking.

    So I froze a bunch of water below us, which is hard to do with ocean water, and the new slab of ice drifted towards the surface. Scooping up and carrying all the people with chains. There were only five or six of them, so it wasn''t a huge ice slab.

    Anywaysers, when we popped up they all started gasping and puking water. There were a bunch of ships in the area, and they really didn''t like seeing the people they had thrown overboard again. So they started shooting at us with their cannons.

    Cannons are awesome, by the way, they push a heavy metal ball really hard, and then it explodes!

    I froze the ships, and as far as I know they''re still bobbing about the ocean somewhere.

    And thats how I met Ardiea! She was one of the people in chains.

    *****

    Greetings Thing-that-is-not-food.

    It is I Julius. I have traveled far, and destroyed much.

    It pleases me that you and the Food-giver were unharmed in my absence.

    Never leave without my permission again.

    *****

    Awwww, Julius missed you too!This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

    Next story!

    Making friends and enemies!

    By Lena.

    Lady Ardiea Su, former Shoto Mistress of Ships became my friend! She was being riatu- ritau- ceremonially sacrificed for some dumb reason. She made some kind of blood oath thing to me. I asked her if she had seen any sign of my friends, but she hadn''t. She said that the first to hear something like strange people appearing in the ocean would be the rulers of the ocean. Or more accurately, their spymasters. But you can''t really find spymasters if they''re good at their jobs, and if they aren''t good at their jobs then you wouldn''t want to find them in the first place. So I''d have to talk to the rulers instead.

    She didn''t want to go back to Fukai, the Shoto capital, because the Emperor was the one who was having her killed. But I promised to protect her, so we unfroze one of the ships and sailed away. I can make my own currents now, so we moved really quickly!

    Fukai is amazing! It''s underwater, but instead of being all dark and gross its bright and colorful! There are five mountains, with just the tips of them peeking out of the sea, and around each of those mountains are giant bubbles of bright blue energy.

    The mountains are really close to each other, and the bubbles overlap, and thats Fukai! There are trees and cool buildings, and lots of people, mostly elves though. It''s one of the best things I ever saw!

    But their Emperor is awful. He''s fat, and lazy, and talks to much, and smells funny, and has this weird mustache that''s super long, but really thin. It makes him look like he has whiskers or something. The Emperor tried pushing us around, until Julius set his creepy little brother on fire.

    Then he got all weird and told us he had our friends, and that they were all in really bad shape. So if we didn''t do as he said he would kill them all. Julius wanted to burn the whole palace down looking for our friends, but Ardiea convinced us to let her look into it before we killed everybody. Well, she convinced me, and then I convinced Julius.

    Oh yeah, and the Emperor, whos name was Long Pu or something, was really unhappy to see Ardiea back from her trip to the ocean floor. But he couldn''t kill her in the open without crossing some line in their laws, and after we killed his seventh assassin they stopped accepting his jobs.

    THE END.

    Erm, fourth story?

    War.

    After that we, Ardiea, Julius, and me, set off. I was given a ship, and put in a fleet. Then we just floated about smashing things. Fleets, islands, cities, stuff like that. I have gotten really good at using my flute and mist combo at blinding, separating, and destroying fleets.

    I hated it though.

    I missed big bro, and all the fun he made. I missed big sis, and her lessons on cool animals and weapons. I missed Fen and all the pranks we used to plan out together. I''m so glad I had Julius with me, I don''t know what I''d have done without him and Ardiea helping me.

    I got through it thanks to them.

    THE END

    Fifth story, this is taking sooooooooooo looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggg!

    The truth will set you free.

    By Lena (Ardiea and Julius are helping with the titles)

    Finally, Adrieas agents couldn''t find any trace of our friends in the Shoto palace. In fact, they instead found descriptions of Onica, and maybe even Fen, in Iceni waters. So I took over the fleet I was in, and headed towards the rumors.

    Stuff happened, my fleet grew. I found more friends. Connor for example. My fleet got so big, in fact, that I had to split it up. There aren''t many ports that can supply that many ships all at once. So I now have three fleets, Ardiea is in charge of all the fleets, with Connor and two others in charge of their individual fleet.

    So it goes, me, then Ardiea handles all the details of maintaining and manuveuring the fleets as a group, then the fleet commanders, like Connor, in charge of the individual details of each fleet, then the captains are each in charge of their ships. It works out alright.

    We started combing the waves looking and listening for any sign of my friends. Robbing any supplies we could get our hands on. Which is how we stumbled across them yesterday.

    THE END!

    Now that we are all back together, I''d like to show them all Fukai, and have a word with that dumb Emperor.

    I think I hear big bro waking up. I need to go and bang some pots and pans next to his head with Fen now.

    Lena, out!

 Shhhh, be very quiet, were going Emperor hunting

    Hello again. Hangovers suck, and being woken up with one by a cacophony of clashing cutlery is bad.

    Just bad, I''m not going to write how it felt exactly, because then I''d have to remember how it felt, and I don''t want that.

    Anyway, after a late, and thankfully quiet, breakfast it was time we tried to figure out our next move. Onica wanted to raid the Iceni royal vaults. Claiming they most likely had some of our sorely missed tinglewood inside. Lena wanted to show us Fukai, and wreck the Imperial Palace while we were in the neighborhood.

    Both of those sounded like magnificent options! I couldn''t deny the allure relcaiming our tinglewood had, but Fukai sounded magical. And I''m always up for a little mayhem. Fen and Julius were also cool with whatever, and Onica admitted to wanting to personally deal with the people who had lied to and misled our little miss. Plus, Lena had the fleet we would be sailing to our destination.

    So off to Fukai we went!

    With Lena shifting the currents to carry us, and Fen filling the sails of every ship in the fleet, we moved amazingly fast! I was sitting on the pointing bit the sticks out in from of the ship. The sailors call it a bowsprit. I call it that pointy bit at the front of ships.

    To each their own.

    As I was sitting there, the rise and fall of the bow would periodically bring me extremely close to the waves. The water was bright and clear, and I could make out schools of fish swimming before us. The occasional solitary giant swept through the masses of fish, leaving cloudy water in its wake, and I spotted what looked like a mass of tentacles fighting a ball made of spears at one point.

    We were heading past a small archipelago when trouble hit.

    It was really cool, just sitting there. Relaxing, enjoying the unusual view. I was so relaxed in fact, that I nearly missed it when we smashed into the first sea-mine. The bulbous orb of metal and explosives threw me from my perch, and punched a massive hole in our hull. I managed to get airborne before hitting the waves, and Lena patched the hole with ice. As I headed back toward our busted ship when several others from our fleet found sea-mines of their very own.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    A series of explosions left the front runners of our fleets torn up. Lena hurriedly patched the holes with ice. She really has gotten much stronger since we got seperated. She could affect a much larger area with her Tingles, and her ice in particular was forming faster, more intricately, and colder than I recalled.

    As we sorted ourselves out, a dozen good sized galleys came shuttling in our direction from the archipelago. Their dozens of long oars made them seem almost like hungy insects, scampering towards a carcass. They must have launched as soon as the heard the first explosion, because when they saw the thirty battleships that made up Lenas fleet they seemed quite surprised.

    Watching their previously coordinated rowing turn into a chaotic mess gave a pretty good clue as to how they were reacting. Then Lena turned the water around and between them and us into ice. Which meant this sea battle had just become a brawl, on ice. Instantly, dozens of armed soldiers leapt from every ship in her fleet, and started rushing towards our would-be assailants.

    Not ones to be left out of a fight, Julius, Fen, Onica, Lena, and I all leapt into the fray.

    I''m not going to lie. That was the worst fight I have ever had. The sniveling wretches aboard the galleys all surrendered before we could slaughter them, and most of the people aboard were chained to the oars. Slaves, I guess. We freed them, gave them the galleys and the pirates, and carried on.

    I wouldn''t bet much on the pirates surviving their former captors. They didn''t look very forgiving.

    We lost some time there, and it was decided that a night assault on Fukai would be a bad idea. Ardiea seemed pretty certain of it, and what few fractured memories I had of night combat agreed with her. It''s not like we were in any rush. So we decided to rest for the night a few hours from Fukai, and map out our assault plans.

    Oh! Speaking of maps, Lena showed Ardiea that map of pirate treasure we got from Maranara, or whatever her name was we made queen of that place that one time. She managed to find a few landmarks she recognized, and pointed us in the right direction.

    So once we get this revenge stuff handled, get out tinglewood back, and figure out how our tinglewood bubble got smashed, we can finally got get that treasure! I knew that going for pirate treasure would lead to adventure!

    But that''s for later. Right now its time to play cards with my friends, then head to bed. We had a lot of carnage to wreak tomorrow!

    Goodnight.

 The fall of Fukai

    Hello again! Oh, what fun this day has been!

    Everyday you start with an invasion is a good day! As the sun crested over the peaks of Fukai, we swept in, guns blazing! Dozens of innocent little merchants and fishing boats got in our way, but not for very long. Then we came face to face with the Shoto forces Fukai defense fleet.

    These were the best ships, crewed by the best sailors, and captained by the best officers in the entire Shoto navy. Lena set the mood for the battle. By skewering their flagship on a pillar of ice, that then exploded. There were no survivors! Probably. I certainly hope not, anyway.

    With the opening shot well and truly fired the battle commenced. We had thirty ships, a mix of Shoto and Iceni, and nothing larger than a 32 gunner. They had two whole fleets of 25 ships apiece, 50 total. The flagship Lena had just wrecked was a 108 gunner, but they had another two like it. We formed battle lines, which if you know nothing of naval combat like I do, means we lined up and got ready to sail past one another, dumping broadsides into each other.

    Very civilized, very dangerous, and very much not what we did.

    Seeing as how we could fly and all, Julius, Fen, and I all took off for the leading ship of their battle line. Ardiea and Lena had a plan, and we were going to follow that plan. Julius and I pulled ahead of Fen, and started setting masts and sails on fire. Behind us, Fen whipped up a windblast and rode it into the blaze.

    The fire on their masts exploded outwards in the wind. The sails being rapidly devoured as flames swept over the decks. Sailors ran about screaming and on fire. The burst of wind caught their sails, slowing them and carrying them backwards and out of alignment until the sails were completely burnt away.

    Ship after ship we went. Leaving behind us a burning mess of ships crashing into each other, and all bunched up in a clump instead of their pretty and useful lines. Then our ships sailed past that mess. Broadside after broadside hammered the poor bastards as our line of ships swept past them. Lenas flagship, the aptly named Mistress of the Tides came last. Hammering its cannon into the crippled Shoto fleets.

    After that, Lena shifted the currents under them. Creating a whirlpool in the middle of their clump. Then, because there is no kill like overkill, Lena sent a herd of icebergs crashing amongst the poor defenseless defense fleet.

    We left them to play with their new toys, and sailed to the peaks that were just peeking out of the ocean.

    The peaks of Fukai are both a natural fortress, and the only way down into the city proper.

    Massive docks and marketplaces drift in the ocean nearby. Providing plenty of room for our fleet to land on. We landed in the berths normally reserved for the Fukai defense fleet. They won''t be needing it anymore.

    There is a contingent of marines on each ship in a fleet. Typically they act as boarders, or anti boarders in ship to ship combat. While the rest of the sailors load aim and fire the cannons. As well as all the stuff that''s needed for a ship to sail. There are roughly ten marines per ship of our fleet, and we brought them all out for the assault.

    300 and some marines, Julius, Lena, Onica, Fen, myself, and Ardeia were the assault team. We had to penetrate the steel doors of the mountain, designed to keep out the ocean during high tide. Then work our way down through the mountain. A fortress full of choke points, murder holes, and an angry Shoto soldier garrison. Once we finished that, we''d have to fight through the city of Fukai itself, and the Civil Guard. Which is what they call their citizen militia. Once they got out of our way we would have to breach the Imperial Palace, which was guarded by the elite Dragon Guard. And loot the place after we beat down the Emperor of Shoto. Pu Long, or something like that.

    Easy peasy!

    The assault started on a high note. Ardeia and the marines took off to loot the docked ships and markets. The rest of us approached the entrance into the mountain. Julius and I melted a massive hole through the ten foot thick steel doors that were supposed to keep water and ornery sea critters out of the city. We melted them back into a solid piece on our way back. We may not like the Shoto Emperor, but thats no reason to drown all the citizens. Once the doors were open we started getting shot at.

    Lena whipped up some ice for cover, and Julius and I filled the area with fire. There were some more gunshots, but I think it was just their ammo exploding. With that we were inside the fortress. They tried to ambush us several times as we walked through choke points. Little holes in the ceilings and walls are probably really good at protecting people from bullets and stuff like that. Not so much protection from people who can fill the whole room behind the hole with fire. Or lightning. Or ice.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!

    What I''m trying to say is, they had no protection from us. So we swept through the fortress. Roughly halfway through Ardiea and the marines caught up with us. They seemed impressed. Shortly after that the remainder of the fortress garrison retreated from our path and locked themselves inside the armoury and the messhall.

    Typically, you never, ever, want to leave a cowed hostile force behind you. If they feel brave or tricky they could pop back out of hiding, and trap you between two hostile forces. We were kind of in a hurry though, so we sealed up their hiding places with melted steel and ice. And just in case that wasn''t enough, we left fifty marines sitting in the murderholes outside. We let them out on our way back.

    Finally, we reached the exit. Which led into a walled courtyard where the Civil Guard was waiting for us.

    Just for fun, Julius, Lena, Fen, and I all decided to try our best to scare the crap out of them. After some discussion behind a bit of wall so they couldn''t shoot us. We decided to create a single thing out of all our Tingles.

    We started with Lena making a massive scaly tail out of clear ice. A long elegant length of gleaming coils. It stretched nearly sixty feet, before ending in an abrupt flat surface.

    Upon that surface I created a torso, roughly a third the size of the tail. Vibrant red flame launched forward and upward. Forming a towering figure. I built a long snout full of vicious looking fangs. Flames dripped upwards from the snarling maw of my creation in a bizarre parody of drool. Duller reds and blacks faded into being along the creatures flanks and back. Forming sizzling scales.

    The Julius joined in. Six arms erupted from the sides of the creature. Three on a side. All were vibrantly yellow-red, and at times they almost seemed like gold. The top pair formed a set of long blades, the next two sets formed as sturdy arms, tipped with long blazing white claws.

    Fen created wings. The delicate framework of them crafted from lightning, and the spaces between the violently restrained bolts was filled with a bizzare shimmer. The wings stretched out. The bolts of lightning searing the stone of the mountain, and a unfortunate statue happened to be in the path of their first exploratory flap. As the shimmer between the struts passed over the statue, it was ground to dust by the thousands of rapidly circulating wind blades within.

    With a roar, our fearsome creature swept out of cover and into the middle of the Civil Guard encirclement. It stretched as high as it could, spread its wings, and roared fire and challenge at our foe.

    They ran away. Can''t say I blame them.

    Fukai truly was a beautiful place. The distant blue glow of the mystical walls that kept the ocean from crashing into Fukai illuminated giant schools of fish, and just plain giant fish. Many tiered towers climbed towards the shimmering ''sky''. And massive green fields rolled through the hills under the mountains.

    We burnt some of it, but it''s a big place, so I think they''ll be fine. We''d specifically chosen the mountain closest to the Imperial Palace. So once we broke out of the initial courtyard we only had a short ways to go. The tall black walls of the palace were rather intimidating. Until our new buddy blew a big hole in them.

    The Dragon Guard were waiting for us. They tried to ambushed us as we stepped through the hole we made, and ran right into the loving arms of our monstrosity. Thats were most of them died. Frozen, burnt, shocked, turned to red mist, or crushed.

    The fight was brutal. The Dragon Guard didn''t break and run like the previous two forces had. They fought to the last man. Thank goodness we had superiorfirepower.

    That''s just a bad pun. Even for me. I''ll do better next time.

    With the palace secured, we went looking for the Emperor. As we searched we looted the treasury. Lena and Julius found all of their tinglewood. Seriously, every last splinter was piled up, front and center. How there was none of mine and all of theirs is a mystery to me. I guess that''s just the way it goes?

    We found some other neat stuff. Julius lead me around the place, pointing out things to add to his steadily growing hoard. Ardeia found a old dirty cracked mirror, and made a huge show out of presenting it to Lena. Kind of a weird present to give a friends, but whatever. To each their own. I found a collection of colorful bottles marked with neat skulls, which Onica immediately confiscated from me. Julius snagged most of the precious metals and fabrics. Lena turned her reclaimed tinglewood into a fair sized boat with legs, and filled it with precious stones and gems. And I took a neat black bladed sword with a cool stylized fire hilt, and a ruby the size of a chicken egg in the pommel.

    All in all, a very nice haul for a couple hours work.

    Then we found the Emperor. For whatever reason he was cowering in the kitchen pantry. Hiding among the potatoes. Lena kicked him square in the groin and he dropped like a sack of shit, good for her. Then Onica and Ardeia requested some time alone with him, and I saw Ardeia pull those bottles Onica had given her a few days back out of her pack.

    I don''t have much of a stomach for torture. It just makes me uncomfortable, so Lena, Julius, Fen and I settled down a few rooms over and played some cards until the ladies were satisfied. Which took about the same amount of time as the rest of our invasion altogether. Poor, poor, Emperor. I guess you shouldn''t have messed with Lena. Or done whatever you did to piss off Ardeia.

    When they reappeared they were looked a bloody mess, and while Onica gave of a feeling of satisfaction. Ardeia seemed, almost lost. I guess she needs some time to get over stuff, which is good. Onica is kinda scarily relaxed now.

    We headed back to the ships, unloaded our loot, and threw a ''successful invasion'' party. Its a fun party to throw, because you use the losers stuff intead of your own. We had so much food and drink I''m pretty sure most of the fleet will be unable to move tomorrow.

    Speaking of, I''d best get back to the party, if I''m gone too long , uh, well nothing much happens really. But I miss out on a bit of celebration. And that''d be a waste!

    Goodnight.

 A moment alone

    Hello again. Today I took for myself.

    While I certainly enjoy a good party, and the one last night was epic! And I certainly missed my friends fiercely. I sometimes need to just step aside for a while, and savor the silence that only truly comes when you are alone.

    Its times like this, that you can hear yourself most clearly. Your deepest thoughts, often just faint echoes in the distance, become close and coherent. Normally, when I''m around people I just kind of sit back in my mind, and ride the flows of the group. It makes being around people much easier. I barely think, just react to their actions. Introspection fades.

    Reading what I''ve just written. It almost seems like I''m saying that when I''m in a group I just follow the leader. An unthinking drone. Thats not what I''m trying to say. It''s hard to express. I guess the best way to put it is... My mind is a stream, and my self, my thoughts I guess. Is a fish in that stream.

    When I''m alone the stream flows slowly, but deeply. The fish sinks into the depths. Exploring oddly shaped rocks in the stream bed, or examining interesting bits of debris in the water. Slow, deep thoughts. Time is spent pondering things. Feeling out the shapes of ideas in excruciating detail.

    It''s relaxing, and calming.

    And when I am in company. The stream is rushing rapids. Shallow, and fast. Speeding through cataracts at breakneck paces. Strangers stand on the banks, throwing things into the rushing water. And the fish, is just along for the ride. It''ll catch glimpses of things it''d like to see in more detail. And It certainly finds the foreign bits that others have thrown into the stream very interesting. But it doesn''t have the luxury to slow down. The rushing water forces it along, unable to take its time. It must react now! Respond immediately! No rest! No pause!This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    It''s exciting, and exhausting.

    So when I''ve been in the rapids for days, I find it necessary to settle into a deep pool. This metaphor is getting stretched pretty thin, but the fish takes that time to remember the stuff it saw in the rapids, that foreign ideas and thoughts. And ponder them.

    And that is how minds grow. I think.

    So today, I left a note telling my companions I''d be back by sundown. I grabbed a sack full of leftovers from the feast last night. Some bottles of good booze, and a cask of fresh water. Then I stole a small boat, and sailed just a little ways away from the docks around Fukai.

    I spent the whole day there. From sunup to twilight. Just letting the waves rock the boat, and thinking. And snacking of course.

    I thought about where I''ve been. Remembering wonderous sights, and beautiful places. Desolate landscapes, and verdant forests. I though about the creatures, I''d seen, fought, tasted, and avoided. I thought of Crusher, that massive shelled creature from my early days. I thought of the Little green men, or Legumes as I had decided to call them.

    I thought of that annoying fella who led me out of the place I had woken up in. What was his name again? Florence? Freddy? I could just look back in my journal, but that seems like too much effort to waste on such a thing.

    I remembered the airship that had taken me from the city. So much more advanced than anything else I''ve seen. Actually. I''ve noticed the tech levels of the people I''ve come across vary wildly. I could speculate as to why that is, but it''d just be speculation.

    Looking back, the world is a strange place. I have so many more questions that answers.

    Well, not like I''ll find the answers sitting on my keister. If I want to know more about this world, them I''m gonna need to find people who know stuff, and ask them.

    But first, we owe the Iceni a visit, and we''ve got some buried pirate treasure to find and enjoy.

    Then, we can find some answers.

    Goodnight.

 Historical note: The Cause of the Crimson War, By Aldwell Threwt

    When one thinks about the military successes of the world, learned minds lean towards the pivotal moments that toppled empires. In many cases these were minor engagements, but they set the tone of a war, or allowed a key figure to rise to prominence. They were the initial stumbling blocks from which the eventual losers never quiet managed to recover. There were of course, the other kind of pivotal battles. Those clashes of titans that often left all involved dreadfully weakened. The Holding of the Mimonal Line. The battle to Fivers Creek. The Sacking of Torvence. The Defense of the Braid. All massive battles, involving thousands of men and killing most of them.

    The less culturally exposed often focus on the latter, the mighty smiths hammer blows, rather than the keen sculptors chiseling. And it makes sense that they should do so. One is loud, and noticable, and the echoes do so resound. And the other is quiet, compact, and most appreciated in a gentlemans study.

    Personally. My favorite victory, or more accurately success, is neither of these. But a simple series of small engagements that spawned the Crimson War. Those involved have worked in surprising concert to hide the true cause of the conflict. Which was what intially caught and tickled my curiousity.

    I was studying the history of engagements around the wheelstone area of Printh, when I came upon a surprising bit of lore. The locals in the pub were telling tales about the start of the Criimson War. But they told of a version I had never heard before! No decrees from gods, or demon spawn amongst men here. Just a simple tale, almost too simple to believe. I double and triple checked the local lords librarys and found no mention of this ignition point.

    I started searching, seeking out scraps here and there, and as history has shown so many times before, nothing is ever truly forgotten. Eventually I managed to gather enough information, and even interview a few who were directly involved.

    The initial spark that bloomed into the Crimson War was a fairly common one. The soldiers of one kingdom dressed like bandits and raided another kingdoms land. This is, as I said, a fairly common thing. Especially when neighbors are not on the best of terms. That made this raid so special, was a rather dogged band of mercenaries.

    The name of the band, and the name of their leader is lost, burned or buried. But the tale of their exploits lingers in the minds of the locals, and it is from them that I managed to parse out this story. I am missing pieces, but I believe that I have managed to cobble together a fairly accurate summation of the events.

    So here it is.

    On a fine autumn day, Duke Eltry of Po sent a band of his huscarls to cross the border into the neighboring kingdom of Went. They successfully attacked the lands of Countess Warven of Went, and proceeded to attempt to recross the border. As they went, they ran smack dab into a passing band of mercenaries.

    To the best of my knowledge, they were never asked, directed, or paid to waylay the raiders. One fellow said that their leader had decided to capture the raiders, in hopes of recieving a prize or compensation of some sort. This is very odd behavior for a mercenary captain, as they typically avoid all risks possible, unless paid extremely handsomely. This leads me to believe that this company of mercenaries was either young and naive, or just plain daft.

    Possibly a combination of the two.

    Regardless, the mercenaries attacked the raiders. Perhaps the soldiers were surprised and weary from their endeavors. Because when the mercenaries fell on them the raiders were swiftly killed or captured.

    Now, this is where things get interesting. The mercenaries brought their captives to the wrong place. The brought them to Baron Jorge of Mancarstai. Confused and bewildered by the sudden appearance of captive Po raiders in his lands the Baron sent a strongly worded message to the Duke. Demanding ransom for his captives. In the meantime, he quietly took claim of the cattle the raiders had plundered from the Countess.

    The Countess in the meantime had sent a letter of her own to the Duke, demanding the return of her cattle. The Countesses letter arrived first. Presumably confused as to how her courier had beaten his raiders back to his lands the Duke nevertheless agreed to release the cattle he had thought captured back to her. For a very high price.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    Though there was no doubt some conversations being held behind closed doors, the deal was accepted. The cattle were to feed her land through the winter, it was unlikely for all of her people to survive without the meat, hides, milk, and warmth of the stolen herds.

    So the Countess sent the gold to the Duke, who was unable to honor his side of the bargain as he had yet to hear from his raiders. Which is when the Barons courier arrived. Learning that his raiders had been captured, the Duke hurriedly agreed to pay the ransom, and get his men and the cattle back.

    Now, while all this was going. The mercenaries were wandering about, looking for work. The Baron had, if the stories are true, not paid them so much as a wood nickle. He had then demanded they leave his lands, and threatened to have his men attack them. There is no clear indication as to why this happened exactly, but some accounts say that the mercenary captain had badly offended the Baron in some manner.

    As they were wandering they came across the group of guards the Duke had sent to retrieve his raiders and the cattle. Word had spread of what the mercenaries had done among the Dukes troops. So upon seeing the mercenaries standard, which has been rather cleanly erased from history, the guards attacked them. Seeking revenge no doubt.

    Now, these were the honor guards of a massive sum of gold. Hundreds of huscarls. They heavily outnumbered the mercenaries, and yet somehow they lost all the same. Any clues that might have been gleaned of the source of this surprising victory are lost. A forest fire swept through the area at some point, and destroyed all evidence beyond some scorched swords and armor.

    It is believed the mercenaries made off with the gold, or at least, none of the locals have claimed to have found it.

    So, The Duke was out a few hundred soldiers, a load of gold, and wouldn''t be able to produce the cattle upon arrival of the Countesses forces. This was a bad thing, as far as he was concerned. As far as he knew, the Baron had not only attacked his raiding group, but had also ambushed his ransom chest. So he prepared to attack the Baron.

    When the Countesses group neared the Dukes lands, and saw the Dukes soldiers preparing for combat. Well, they assumed themselves the target. Speeding back towards their lands. Along the way, they ran directly into the hapless mercenaries. Again, they leapt to an assumption. Thinking the mercenaries had been hired by the Duke to slow their retreat so his forces could catch up to them, they attacked. All accounts agree, the commander of the Countesses ransom forces was a nitwit.

    Again, a small force of mercenaries, the numbers vary from story to story but never were they more than a hundred strong, face and destroyed a numerically superior force. And again, it is thought they made off with the gold.

    Meanwhile, a Went merchant happened to be passing through the Barons lands in Mancarstai. They noticed the cattle, branded with the Countesses mark, and reported it to her as soon as possible.

    Having her ransom disappear in the Dukes lands, and finding out her cattle were among the Barons herds. The Countess was quite angry. She came to the conclusion that the Baron had sent raiders into her lands, masquerading as the Dukes men masquerading as brigands. Then when she had approached the Duke he had accepted her offer of ransom with absolutely no intention or ability to return her stolen cattle. But rather intending only to ambush her forces and steal her gold.

    She immediately split her soldiers into two poorly organized forces. One headed into the Dukes lands, to reclaim her gold and honor. The other dove into the Barons lands, to seize her stolen cattle.

    The token force the Duke had left behind to guard his castle while he led his forces against the Baron where swiftly overwhelmed, and his home was destroyed while his valuables were stolen.

    Meanwhile, the Barons herds were stolen or slaughtered, the Barons soldiers too busy fighting of the Dukes forces to notice the Countesses army.

    The Baron had sent for reinforcements from his kingdom as soon as the Dukes men began invading. He knew he alone stood no chance against the Duke. He had the raider prisoners executed atop the castle walls as he came under siege. Which no doubt angered the Duke.

    That anger was probably eclipsed when one of his frantic sons came galloping to the front to inform him that his home had been looted and destroyed. He sped off after the Countesses forces to enact some revenge. Through some combination of geography and bad luck he stumbled across the forces she had sent to reclaim her cattle from the Baron.

    He slaughtered them all, soldier and cattle alike. Then marched into her lands. She had been expecting retaliation though, and had already called upon her allies and kingdom. So he was swiftly sent running back to his ruined halls. He raised the call for aid himself.

    The Went Kingdom forces behind the Countess attacked the Baron, running into stiff resistance from the Mancarstai Kingdoms reinforcements. Meanwhile the Po Kingdom rallied behind the Duke and engaged both forces at once.

    And so the Crimson War began, and I''m sure you all know how it ended. What you, myself, and pretty much everyone else doesn''t know however. Is, what happened to that mercenary band? And what did they do with all that gold?

    I suppose we might never know, but whenever I think of that small band leading three giants around by the nose. Well, I have myself a little chuckle.

 Next on the menu

    Hello again! Today we left Fukai, and set our sights on the Iceni.

    Our departure wasn''t without pomp and flair though, unforunately. We had decided to leave Ardiea and Lena''s fleet behind. As they''d only slow us down now that we''ve got tinglewood, but they weren''t willing to let their little leader leave without a whole bunch of elaborate of ceremonies.

    She gave a cute little speech all dressed up like a princess. There was a weirdly formal breakfasr buffet where she had to sit in the throne and tap a bunch of people on both shoulders with a jeweled sword. She also said stuff to a huge crowd of people who were all bowing to her, but I was too busy making full use of the buffet to hear exactly what was being said.

    Not like it really mattered to me much though, we were going to be gone soon enough, and I doubted I would ever see any of these people or this place again. There is just so much more world out there, calling me.

    Then after all of that Lena gave Ardiea her fancy sword and cloak and whatnot. The tall and scary looking elf lokked like she was going to burst into tears from a surfeit of some emotion or other. Again, distracted, buffet.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

    Then she had to spill her blood into the ''mirror-shield pool'' and onto the dusty crusty mirror Ardeia had given her two days before. Finally we left with a bunch of Lena''s sailors throwing confetti and firing their ships cannons in a deafening salute. A lot of them were crying and cheering at the same time.

    Boy did they ever look silly!

    The Shoto have a lot of weird ''goodbye friends'' ceremonies. I think it''s a bit excessive if I''m being completely honest. But hey, they were nice enough once we killed all the ones who were ordering them to attack us. And I think it''s considered rude to just blow off another peoples rituals and ceremonies. So I managed to sit through them, and I loaded the best bits from the buffet into my satchel, of course. For later consumption.

    That all managed to eat up most of the day, and so by the time we were on the road again the sun had already begun it''s descent. So we covered what ground we could. Happy just to be back in our little group. And dined on leftovers when the sun dropped out of sight.

    I wonder if the Iceni will want us to go through their own ceremonies when we finish wrecking their palace and killing their ruler? I sure hope not. I don''t think I can sit through all that again, not unless the buffet is absolutely fantastic!

    As I write this everyone else has already bedded down and drifted off to sleep. As I listen to the various snores, purrs, and squeaks that only our special crew can make, I''m truly at peace with the world. This is right. Us, here, and now. This is a perfect moment.

    I hope I remember this forever.

    Goodnight.

 A play on the high seas

    Hello again! Today I roasted a turtle pretending to be an island!

    The sneaky bugger waited until we swung in close. To try and snag some of the delicious looking fruits in the half dozen trees on its shell. Before it''s massive craggy maw shot out of the water and tried to crush our boat.

    Good thing we had tinglewood, no? It couldn''t crush us, so it started thrashing its head about. Trying to bludgeon us to death with our own ship I guess. Didn''t work. We got some bruises, sure, but he got a fireball to the face. So I think we were the winner there.

    As a bonus, the fruits really were delicious, and went really well together with braised island turtle.

    Lena has been practicing making plays. When she was still being forced to serve the Shoto she was brought to a few plays as some kind of status symbol. Julius made sure to sear any weird old men who tried anything, funny. But, despite being forced to attend, and the greasy smell of quick fried fool, Lena loved the plays.

    So she has been making figures of water and ice that drift alongside the ship, and she has them act out what she can remember from the plays. The stage is a sheet of ice, and Onica makes what costumes wouldn''t look right as ice or water. Like I said, Onica is very good with needles.

    Lena provides the background music with her special murder flute, which is much less murdery since we got back together. Normally I get to play the bad guy, since Julius isn''t really good at the subtle stuff, like making detaild people and objects out of fire. You want a natural disaster though? He''s your bunny.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    So he does some of the effects, and lighting. And Fen does the rest. You want an ominous storm to brew at just the right moment? Perhaps a lightning strike to really add some menace to a villains monologue? He''s got you covered.

    So far we''ve been mostly messing around, and my evil henchmen have a bad habit of killing their boss to please Lena''s heroine. But its loads of fun, and a great way to both hone our powers and spend time together.

    So we made a few playsThe Princess Attacks, When Dragons Come to Tea, A Madmans World ,andTaking the Loot to name a few.It was great fun, and though the stories were half baked, the motives were unknown, and logic was completely ignored. They were the greatest plays I have ever seen.

    Not that I recall ever seeing any plays before them, mind you, but I''m sure they are truly heads and shoulders above the rest. I especially liked it when my dragon character in the tea story ran off and lived happily ever after with the sentient scone.

    I guess I''m just a romantic like that.

    I did get in trouble for going off script, but it justfelt right!

    The plays were interrupted by meals, random Iceni navy attacks, and bathroom breaks. And the turtle, of course. As I was heading to my hammock to write down todays events I noticed Lena was already squirreled away in her own hammock. And she was frantically scribbling in a journal of her own!

    I''m so proud!

    A quick peak over her shoulder showed a series of plays in progress, and a vast collection of fluffy and slimy critter doodles filling in the margins. Thats all I saw before she noticed me, and slammed her journal shut. "Private." She muttered, her face flushing red as strawberries.

    Fair enough, private is private. So I left her to it. As I was walking away she hailed me, and when I turned to look at her she sheepishly raised her journal a tad. "Now Mr. Book can have a friend." She is just the sweetest thing!

    Anyway, that was our day, a merry time indeed! And judgng from the increasing number of Iceni navy ships we''ve been leaving wrecked in our wake. I''d say we are getting close to their capital.

    Fun days ahead!

    Goodnight.

 The Tower

    Hello again! Today we reached the Iceni capital, Tower!

    I think that the name is pretty lazy. Seeing as how the place is dominated a ridiculously huge tower rising from the ocean. A bit on the nose, don''t you think? That beng said, the tower is very impressive. It''s truly massive. Easily the largest structure I have ever seen. Heck, it''s larger than some mountans I''ve seen!

    And spread out at its base is a city that seemed to cover the island. Until you realize that there is no island that is. Onica won the vote, so she is running the destruction of the Iceni throne, and she wanted to go in all stealthy like. So she had lena take us in the last couple of miles underwater.

    Thats when we discovered that the Tower wasn''t resting on an island. No, it just kept going. Eventually running down into the ocean depths itself. Just vanishing into the inky black of the deeps. The ''city'' is actually a series of massive docks and barges, all tethered to the Tower, and with homes, businesses, and roads built on top of them. Looking at it from below is strange, but beautiful. Watching the light filter past the hulls and spread through the water before it finally is swallowed by the darkness.

    There''s a kind of happy melancholy about it. The way the light dances in the shifting waves, only to be snuffed out as it descends. I can''t really describe it well, but watching it was both mesmerizing, and devastating. The way the mellifluous light was so beautiful, and yet so temporary.

    Anyway, Lena brought us up, and we snuck into an abandoned barge that looked like it was supposed to be a warehouse or something. It was empty, dusty, and leaking. It was designed to be more like a floating building than a real barge or boat. So it had a basement, and a high ceiling with rafters. Large sliding doors in the sides would have once let large quantities of goods and people in and out of the barge in it''s heyday.

    Naturally, Julius and I were all raring to get outside and go on a rampage, but Onica, as leader of the Tower destruction, ordered the two of us to stay in this dirty, damp, moldy warehouse/barge while Lena, Fen, and herself went to do some recon.

    Her exact words were something like. "You two lack any sense of subtley and grace when you''re excited like this. Stay here, and don''t do anything stupid." I didn''t like it, and Julius was rather offended. But neither of us could really deny the truth of what she had said. So we settled down and tried to while away the hours by polishing loot or making little fire figures to fight each other.

    But we were in the middle of enemy territory. Surrounded by foes, and their loot. And we just couldn''t focus. Every time we heard the sound of boots heading towards our temporary base we''d perk up, and prepare for some quick and quiet violence. But time after time those boots just kept right on walking past us.

    Eventually, we just couldn''t take it anymore. We threw one of Julius'' least precious but most shiny pieces of loot, a golden urn or vase or whatever, outside the barge with a length of string attached to it. Then, we waited. Soon enough we heard the clomping of approaching boots. When they got near the bait, they suddenly stopped. I could almost see the boot wearer glancing around warily. Looking for a trick or a trap. They must not have looked too hard though, because they completely missed the length of string leading into the barge.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    There was a sudden rush of clomps, and I yanked the bait hurriedly into the barges interior. There was an outraged bellow, and then a large man with a big red nose and muttonchops came barging into the barge. Where Julius in his battle bunny was waiting to clothesline him. The mans big booted feet left the ground and his head snapped backwards from the force of the blow combining with his own greed fueled rush. Then he slammed into the deck and stayed there. He was still breathing, and we''d finally managed to work out some of our stress, so everyone wins, yes?

    We went through his pockets, and then dragged him over to a fairly dry corner. Then we threw the bait out again. Not a single pair of boots clomped past the bait, and we made a game of it. Finding more and more comlex ways to render the greedy fools unconscious. By the time Onica and the rest came back we had a good two dozen fellas piled up in the corner, and we had started running out of ways to mess with people, nonlethaly.

    By that point, we had a rather fun method set up. We rigged a tripwire just inside the doors to the barge. And had smashed a decent sized hole into the floor below. The incoming target would trip and fall into the hole. Where Julius'' battle bunny was waiting. He was resting on his back, with his legs coiled up on top of him. When the intruder fell towards him he''d catched them in the gut with both feet, and launch them back through the hole. They''d fly up to the rafters, where I was waiting with a rope and a hook. They typically had a belt, or suspenders. So I''d hook the rope to them, and give them a good solid shove, sending them swinging around the empty space of the barge in a big loop. Then Julius would ho up, and I''d hop down, and we''d start throwing them around. Speeding them up as much as possible. Occasionally we''d misjudge a shove, and our distraction would go slamming into the sides of the barge or a support pillar or something, then we''d have to let them down, go through their pockets, and throw the bait out again.

    Sometimes, however, we didn''t mess up. We''d get them going so fast they''d nearly blur! That was a lot of fun! But then they''d start puking, and eventually pass out. That quite a mess, but luckily there was lots of water around, so it didn''t take long to wash away the worst of it, burn to ash whatever remained, and throw the bait back out again.

    I guess it should come as no surprise that Onica wasn''t amused by our antics. "What did I say about doing something stupid!" She shouted. After we sat through a fierce, and well earned, scolding we loaded the heap of unconscious people into a small boat and set it adrift. Somebody would find them, and by the time they got back here we''d be gone.

    We moved bases to a nice inn near a fish market, and the others told us what they''d been doing all day while we''d been staving off the dreaded boredom and stress. Onica had a nice and nasty plan for how she wanted to handle her revenge against the Queen in the Tower. Rather than smashing her home and taking her stuff like we did in Fukai, we were going to steal her stuff, and frame a whole bunch of her friends and enemies.

    A few assassinations later and Onica assured me she could start a five way civil war. Then we''d just sit back and relax, watching as the nation tore itself apart. Running in here and there to snag some choice loot.

    Reminder to self: Don''t piss off Onica. Well, maybe just a little. But try not to go too far. She can be scary.

    Lena is scribbling into her Journal, and Fen is showing off some pictures he drew of interesting people, places, and things he saw today. His drawing skills are horrendous, but I could nearly always tell which ones were supposed to be fish, and which ones were supposed to be people, so he is definitely getting better!

    I tried looking at Lena''s Journal again, but got a face full of ice for my trouble. I guess I should understand. Journals can be very private stuff. I certainly wouldn''t want anyone just going through and reading mine. They''d be looking at my naked thoughts, which, is that better or worse than looking at my naked body?

    Hm, almost certainly worse. I don''t really give two toots about someone getting a gander at my glorys, but reading my Journal? Pawing through my private thoughts? I shudder at the thought!

    Goodnight.

 How to make enemies and influence people

    Hello again. Today was bloody, and not in the fun way.

    I had no idea just how bad a civil war can get. Apparently, when the ones you are fighting aren''t those guys over there, but rather, those idiots just down the street and around the corner, things really get personal quickly.

    I had assumed we were simply going to have a handful of the most powerful nobles have a go at the queen. But I guess I didn''t understand how that would affect the average citizens of Tower. The first few shots and stabs were hidden from the public eye. Late night assassinations by our lovey Ms. Onica, and some early morning strikes back at the presumed perpetrators.

    But even before sunrise the people were tense, and whispered conversations were being carried out in secluded doorways. Gossip and rumor, but grim gossip, and dark rumor. They spread like a wildfire, and by noon it was all but confirmed in the minds of the citizenry that someone had done something terrible indeed.

    The who and the what shifted dramatically, and as time passed those who ascribed to one theory or another gathered together into wary little clumps of people.Suspiciously gun shaped packages started being passed around, and before long streets were being barricaded and windows boarded up.

    In some extreme cases, entire segments of the city were cut from their moorings and sent drifting away from Tower. Those were the smart ones, because what happened next was insanity.

    The personal armies of nobles started moving. Piecemeal at first, but after the first few were surrounded and gunned down by the queens better trained and numerically superior soldiers they appeared to start banding together. These forces, both the nobles and queens, marched in weird and seemingly random paths through the Iceni capital. Being hailed and let through neighborhoods and streets that supported them, and jeered and cursed at from behind the barricades of those who didn''t.

    Well, they didn''t much like that latter reaction. Not one little bit.

    There were shouted orders of surrender and the like. These were normally laughed and jeered at. The people of Tower oddly confident that their ramshackle barriers would allow them to hold off all who came to attack them. Then the soldiers swarmed the barricades, and those dream like thoughts fell away even quicker than their shoddy defenses.

    The citizens that the soldiers had been formed from and trained to protect fought fiercely to keep their homes and businesses away from their neighbors and aggressors, and the waves under the contested neighborhoods turned red from spilled blood. Friends, neighbors, family. They tore each other to shreds in the fighting.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    And for what? Perceived loyalty to someone who stayed safe and cloistered in their stronghold? A national pride, or deeply ingrained sense of belonging? They died, slaughtered like cattle. And their bodies were dumped into the waves. From our position in Lenas submerged tinglewood vessel we saw swarms of vicious looking, giant, razor mawed fish come speeding through the water. They tore into the bodies, and I started getting an ache between my ears.

    I haven''t felt something like this in a very long time. Not since the time with those undead things, or when the airship I was in crashed. That last one was before I even met Lena. I think this means I''m going to be getting more of my memories back.

    Considering what is bringing them back, and the pain their return always brings me. I''m not sure I want these memories.

    Then that ache blossomed into a brilliant crimson bloom of agony. I know exactly what caused the change. Two young men, so identical to one another they had to be twins, or brothers at the very least. They were screaming at one another. One gesturing wildly with a cutlass at the barricade behind him, the other waving about his gun as they argued. We couldn''t hear them.

    Oh, by the way. We could see what was going on above us because Lena managed to make some sort of a jinky pipe thingy out of tinglweood with shiny ice sheets inside of it. When you look into the end of the pipe you could see clearly out of the other end of the pipe. No idea how that works, but it sure is neat. She''s so smart!

    Anyway, we could see the brothers arguing, and then the one with the cutlass''s face changed. From frustration and desperation, to disgust and rage. Then he just reared back and slammed his blade directly into his brothers head. In that same moment I felt a bolt of pure pain lance through my own head, almost in sympathy of the others wound. The stricken brother toppled slowly to the ground. His descent seeming both incredibly slow and far too fast at the same time.

    I watched in a daze, my mind pretty much fully occupied with the sudden raging hurricane of pain locked behind my eyes. But I can still remember, the way the living brothers face changed. The anger bleeding away, leaving him alone with the true feelings he''d been hiding under angers blinding. Fear, shock, worry, and as he gazed down at his fallen brother I swear I thought I saw another face superimposed over his own. I didn''t recognize it, but they matched looks of horrified realization.

    Then his blade slipped from his limp and nerveless hands, and he started bending down over his brother, his hands reaching, his expression unbelieving, his lips pleading.

    And he got shot in the head before he could reach his brothers body.

    That''s when the fires started. I don''t recall making the flames, or casting them over the entire massive city like a net. But the others assure me I did. I''m not sure how extensive the damage is. I don''t want to think right now, just rest. The pain has only been growing.

    The others stepped out a little bit ago. I don''t know what they are doing, and at this point I don''t really care.

    I need to sleep. I hope these new memories are gentle. But I doubt it.

    Goodnight.

 What is lost

    Hello again. I dreamt last night.

    I, I saw...

    My brother, I...

    I can''t...

    I just can''t.

    These cursed screams won''t let me think.

    GO AWAY!!!

    *****

    The Food Giver has gone to cry and mutter in the corner. Again.

    Allow this great one to regale you with the tales of my conquests while he weeps like a small child.

    I recall one time, in the long ago. The sun tried its best to outshine me, though it was doomed to fail as it always does, and the wind sang of sweet clover in the fields. I was just a child then, and not as great as I am now, though I was still very great indeed.

    I had newly left the den of my kin. Small, weak, and unloving of the wonderful fire. They could not understand me, and I could not understand them. There was no regret in that parting. I was crossing a great plain at the time, stopping now and again to partake of the clover around me.

    Such sweet clover those fields held, I almost wish I hadn''t destroyed them.

    Almost.

    This great one was then accosted by a idiotic and uncouth beast of the two-legs. The unwashed and unmannered beast attempted to end this great ones life with a paltry bow and arrow. No doubt seeking my resplendent and glorious fur. For which it can not be blamed. No doubt such splendour was unknown to it.

    His arrow flew true, and wounded me greatly. For it was my first time seeing such a thing and I did not know to turn the air to fire when shot at. Stunned, and in great pain, I was unable to respond as the unworthy hunter let out a great cry, and snatched me up by my lordly ears.

    Such an indignity! Even now I rage at it!

    Braying loudly and uttering many praises unto itself the foolish hunter brought me to its village.

    The unwashed masses gathered around my limp bloody body, and I was poked and prodded as the foolish creature who had shot me bragged about its conquest.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    I believe it was here where my pain and shock became utterly consumed by my wrath and rage. My glorious flames arose, and I burned that village of hovels to the ground. I turned the villagers into just so much soot and ash, and left the one who wounded me alive.

    With its arms and legs burned off.

    And then I continued on my way. Oh, the fire spread some, consuming the clover fields. Learning pains I suppose. Even one as great as me cannot learn without the rare occasional failure.

    *****

    Uh, ok. Wow. Julius had been through some stuff too huh?

    Ok, Onica and Lena just gave me a pep talk, and Fen zapped my ass. I''m not certain which of those knocked the screams out of my head. But I better write fast before it comes back!

    Now, where to start. I guess the beginning? Some of the details and faces are still fuzzy. Most, actually. But I remember much more now. So, I was a mercenary captain, and my vice captain was my little brother. Whose name and face I can''t recall. But I remember his voice now, a calm and rich baritone, unsuited for his thin reedy body.

    He was much smarter than me, but I was much stronger than him. Even without my tingles. I led our men into battle, but he led us to the battles, and negotiated our pay, and made sure we had enough food, water, arrows, armor and all the other stuff a small army of drunks and degenerates needs. He was the person keeping us going, basically. If the mercenary company itself was the body, then I was the spirit, and he was the mind.

    Together, I believed we were unstoppable. We fought in many a battle, and managed to make a name for ourselves, though I couldn''t tell you what that name was. Eventually, we got our last job. We helped a slimeball of a lord take out his enemies, and he granted us all knighthoods and parcels of land in his domain. As far as mercs were concerned, that was the dream right there. We had made it. We disbanded the company, and most retired.

    I don''t know what I did, but I do remember that one day my little brother came to visit me. He was scared, and angry. I had never seen him get angry before...

    Anyway, the members of our former mercenary company were vanishing. Just disappearing into thin air. We started looking into it.

    Things got bad. My dreams became blood and fire and screaming. Not the hoarse roars of men in battle. The bellows of rage and assured immortality young men fling at each other to hide their shaking knees and watery guts. But the pained shrieks of tortured children. They claw at my mind even now, half remembered, and entirely reviled. I do not know where we went, what we did, or what we found. Just the haunting screams, the choking blood, the clinging flames...

    There is but one memory that stands out as clear as mountain air. My brother, with my knife buried in his throat. My hand still wrapped firly around the hilt.

    Oh gods...

    What have I done?

    I wish I could have the belief that someone else had done it, and that I had merely remembered me removing the knife that had struck him down. But, no. I had no such luxury. The look in his eyes... The shock, the betrayal, the disbelief. I am sure it was mirrored by those poor brothers I saw cut down yesterday.

    I had done it. I had killed my own precious little brother.

    What happened?

    Why would I do such a thing? He was my brother! I loved him, and yet I...

    It''s back. The screams are getting louder, and I can''tTHINK!

    I need...

    Something.

    I can''t do this right now.

    Goodnight.

 Nothing like a lightning bolt to the back of the head

    Hello again. It has been some time since my last, entry.

    I¡¯m not entirely sure how long to be honest. I haven¡¯t exactly been¡­ Myself, these days. Not since I found out what I¡¯ve done. If I could do something like that to my own little brother, hat¡¯s to say I won¡¯t do the same to my friends now? The thought of Julius, Onica, Fen, or, may the world forgive me, little Lena dying at my hands is just, entirely unacceptable.

    Such images appeared before my eyes everytime I blinked, and when I was forced to sleep by exhaustion, my nightmares stalked me through dark woods. Then the memories of those nightmares haunted me when I was awake. I began to start believing that they were prophetic dreams, and tried to push my friends away with anger and violence. But to no avail. They wouldn¡¯t leave me. So I left them.

    Rather, I should say I tried to. They must have been keeping an eye on me, and expecting just such a move. Because as soon as I tried to fly away Julius and Fen knocked me out of the sky, by way of sending a rocket powered Julius and a lightning bolt crashing into the back of my head. Then Lena wrapped my head in a bubble of water, keeping me focused on trying to breathe while Onica wrapped me up in some chains.

    I love them so much! They must have been practicing that routine for days with how smoothly they pulled it off! I could probably have melted through the chains pretty quick, but Lena had encased each link in a bubble of water that would have taken me a lot longer than they would have allowed me to break free. Not to mention, at that point I had to deal with a far more devastating binding. Lena had her arms wrapped around my neck, and her face buried in my chest. She was crying, sobbing and snotting all over me the little darling, and begging me not to leave them.

    By that point I hadn¡¯t slept in days, and as I was trying to somehow comfort her without actually promising anything I realized something. Something so obvious I honestly cannot believe it took me this long to figure out.

    My friends are strong! Like, really, really, strong. I couldn¡¯t kill them if I tried! As I realized that my nightmares and worries were just phantoms of my sleep deprived mind, I fell into the first restful sleep I¡¯d had in, well like I said I¡¯m not sure how long. Right there, battered, chained, and soaked in the water, tears, and snot of love. I slipped into a world of happy fluffy dreams. The kind that leave you smiling when you wake up, but since you forget them nearly instantly all that¡¯s left is that warm feeling of happiness and rightness they gave you.

    I don¡¯t know if I have ever felt quite like this before. I¡¯m still shattered by the knowledge of what I¡¯ve done. That hasn¡¯t disappeared. But, I also feel such love and contentment from my friends presence. It¡¯s quite odd, but I don¡¯t think I dislike it. I feel more, complete now. Like a huge piece of me that was missing has returned, and even though it¡¯s return has hurt and scarred me, that lightning bolt burn on the back of my neck isn¡¯t going away, I feel more myself than I ever have before.

    I guess people need more than just good memories and happy times. You also need the bad times, the darkest moments. It is by those deepest depths that we measure our greatest heights. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

    Or maybe that¡¯s just me. Who knows? Certainly not me, but regardless. I feel, not good about this. I guess I just feel, more right? Whatever, emotions are hard to really get a grasp on anyway, and they tend to change. Like, waves in the ocean, or tides, or rivers during a snowmelt. Or some other poetic garbage, I¡¯m not a poet, so I guess I¡¯ll never know.

    Anyway! Enough about me and my feelings! The others have been busy, the Tower has been looted, and it is quite a haul! Even Julius seems satisfied, for the moment anyway. They found the rest of the tinglewood, I¡¯m really happy the Iceni and Shoto were so greedy, scouring the seas finding every scrap they could. I¡¯m sure some of it has disappeared, but most of it is right here. They also found the thing that crushed the tinglewood bubble, and separated all of us what seems like so long ago.

    It¡¯s wand like needle thingy. They Iceni legends say that it was the instrument that their ancestors used to rip stones form the ocean floor and make the tower in the first place. They call it the conductor of tides, and even though they can¡¯t use it to rip massive chunks of solid stone off the bottom of the ocean anymore, they can still use it to send a massive shockwave blasting through the ocean. Apparently, the Shoto had a similar treasure, called the reflection of tides, that their ancestors used to create the giant magic bubbles surrounding their underwater city. The two powers of these seas had been fighting pretty much forever, because their rulers both wanted to claim their ¡®birthright¡¯ which was the other sides national treasure.

    Everytime the Iceni sent a shockwave with the conductor of tides the Shoto sent one of their own with the reflection of tides. They¡¯d meet in the middle, and cancel each other out. But every year, when the treasures had recharged, the Iceni sent another shockwave. Just in case the Shoto missed this one, or something. Optimistic warmongering I guess I¡¯d call it.

    Where was I? Oh yes, the crushing of the bubble! Well, by some cruel twist of fate we just so happened to be in the perfect place at the perfect time to get hit by both shockwaves at once. What are the odds? Seriously, to take simultaneous shots from two national super weapons, that¡¯s just dumb.

    But man, tinglewood is intense! Two island wrecking weapons hit it at the same time, and while it certainly shattered, nobody inside of it was hurt! Well, except me, but I think that happened after the fact anyway.

    While I¡¯ve been driving myself mad with my fears and worries the others were training to slap the shit out of me, and also gathering supplies for out journey. By which I mean they pretty much grabbed whatever it was they wanted and stuffed it into my satchel. There is so much random stuff in there now! I have absolutely no idea how it works, but if I don¡¯t think about it then it doesn¡¯t bother me. So yeah, no problem there. We¡¯re all set to get back on our way, where were we going again?

    OH! Pirate treasure! Right, yeah, of course. Finally time to figure out if that map we got for giving a lady a kingdom is any good! What was her name again? Well, I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll remember eventually. If we are leaving tomorrow like I think we are, then I need to get to bed. Lena doesn¡¯t go to sleep until she¡¯s made sure I do, and her head keeps on drooping before it shoots back up and she looks around frantically. I should let the little darling get some rest. She¡¯s earned it.

    Goodnight.

 Lazy days

    Hello again! It was such a lovely day today!

    Big fluffy happy clouds, bright blue skies above, and vivid green waves below. A stiff but warm breeze that was both comforting and bracing, and the indescribable comfort of being on a journey with those you care about.

    Ah, it brings a tear to my eye, having the Ivers Dream back on the move again. I missed my tinglewood so much. Fighting is so much more interesting when you can summon a horde of flaming goats. Travel is easier too. I don¡¯t have to mess about with sails and ropes and stuff, though with Fen I suppose we wouldn¡¯t really need to anyway.

    Still though, I quite like our current mode of transport. We are lazing about on the top of a big red wooden dogs head while it tirelessly paddles through the ocean. He¡¯s a good boy, and it confuses the snot out of any pirates or merchants who might see us, which is just a bonus.

    Lena is making flowers out of ice. She supercools air at the tip of a stalk of ice, and the air seems to shiver for a moment before ice begins blooming outwards from the stalks tip. The first few were pretty much just amorphous ice blobs, but she¡¯s getting pretty good at making things that look like actual flowers. The way the light is reflected off of them is beautiful. Her latest creation actually is formed in such a way that the light is reflected inwards, giving them an unearthly glow to the clear icy blue.

    Julius is sat in a little cauldron filled with molten gold. His head and ears are the only thing sticking out of the slightly bubbling stuff, and he seems very content. His eyes are closed blissfully, his ears are flopped lazily, and his nose is twitching calmly. Just looking at him makes me want to take a nap myself.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    Fen is practicing tying knots. Yeah, he probably isn¡¯t up to any good, and I think I just saw him make a pretty much perfect noose, but we all need hobbies. So I guess I won¡¯t say anything. I sure hope I don¡¯t regret that¡­

    Onica spent the whole day exercising and training. I made the inside of the Ivers Dream into an obstacle course, complete with moving targets, arrow traps, and spinning death wheels. She sprints through it, dodging arrows, nailing targets with knives, axes, spears, and whatever else she has on hand. I saw her hurl a sword a good twenty feet to nail a target shaped like a person. The target fell, and triggered an arrow trap, becoming so peppered with arrows that it looked like a pincushion. Onica is a bit scary when she gets that focused on something, but she seems to be having fun. Well, she¡¯s smiling anyway. Smiling means she¡¯s having fun, right?

    As for myself, I sent the whole day cooking. Food, once put into the satchel doesn¡¯t seem to go bad, so I figured I¡¯d make a bunch of meals today, and store them for later consumption. Cause some days you just don¡¯t want to cook, y¡¯know?

    Sadly, I underestimated the gluttony of my friends. I thought I was making a weeks worth of meals, but by the end of the day it had already been eaten. Lena would skip by every few minutes and steal away a piece here or there, Julius had Fen ferry some food to him. Onica would take periodic breaks in her training and come to devour whatever she wanted before diving back into training. Fen, he just zapped about half the food I made into ash¡­

    I still don¡¯t know if he even tastes stuff when he does that. He says he does, but if that¡¯s the case then he has really bad taste. I specifically made some chicken super duper crazy pucker-your-face-into-a-bumhole sour, and he claimed to love it.

    I guess I should throw logic out the window where the sentient talking hat that shoots lightning is concerned. But damn it! It bothers me! Watching so much of my hard work and lovingly crafted meals get turned to ash and be blown away by the breeze, it bothers me, ok?

    Still, all in all today has been very good, and I hope to have many more just like it.

    Goodnight.

 Over the lips, and past the gums

    Hello again! It has been a while since I last wrote in my journal, not due to a lack of events or desire to write though.

    Just a plain old lack of time. Not sure exactly how long has passed since my last entry to be honest. Time is hard enough to track when you¡¯ve got a great big blazing ball in the sky. Much less when you are trapped in the bowels of some great beast.

    I must take some of the credit, or blame if you feel like being negative, for my current position. Onica and Lena both were very insistent that entering the mysterious smoking caves poking out of the ocean was a bad idea. I was equally insistent that there must be some cool stuff in there, and Julius backed me up.

    Fen didn¡¯t say much. I¡¯m not sure he was paying any attention to the situation though, what with the drawing and all. He¡¯s become something of an artist. Not a very good one, mind you, but still. Very impressive work for a hat. Possibly a horse, or the sky. Maybe a house?

    Where was I? Right! Entering the caves! Well, things took a turn for the worse nearly instantly. When we entered the caves, fighting our way through rhythmic blasts of steam and waves, we encountered a sudden drop.

    As tends to happen when things drop, we fell. We fell a long, long, long, long, long, long, llllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg, long way. Any attempt to stabilize or reverse out path were disrupted or destroyed outright by ever more severe blasts of wind. Snuffed my flames right out, scattered Lena¡¯s waves and shards, and simply carried away anything Fen tried to do.

    I don¡¯t much enjoy being tossed about by the whims of some force beyond my control, but it was a bit refreshing I suppose. In a terrifying am I gonna die here? sort of way.

    Anyway, as we fell, and attempted to stop ourselves from falling, we reached the bottom. Landing with quite a splash into a small sea of vile yellow fluids. Frothing waves splashed against small buoys and glaciers of indistinguishable matter, most looked like meat that had been sitting out too long. Around where we landed the sea became filled with terrible nasty sickly monsters. Long flat bodies, snapping toothy maws, and seeking slashing tentacles all over the place. Really, just awful.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    I did what anyone would do in that situation. I engulfed the sea in flames and scorched the lives out of every last single one of them! Which, I must admit, was something of an error. As you might have guessed, those initial paired caves we sailed into, were but the flared nostrils of some great beast. The fall had been down its gullet, and the landing in its stomach.

    Now, presumably, it had been snoozing before it suddenly got a tummy ache, which I suppose might have something to do with me attempting to burn a hole in its gut, and waking up. So, not only did we have to contend with the sudden appearance of acidic and scalding steam from my ill timed rampage, but also the shift of the entire ¡®sea¡¯ as the beastie stirred.

    After that we¡­

    Oh dear.

    I gotta go!

    More to follow!

    Ok¡­ Things are looking up! We didn¡¯t get separated this time, thank goodness, but between the panicking, and the screaming, and the fleeing for our lives, it has been rather hectic, and rest and respites have been few and far between. The insides of this creature are inhospitable in the extreme. Between hordes of parasitic monsters, tiny to the creature, but giant to us the sheer size of the beast, and the danger every single environment inside of it poses to us it hasn¡¯t been easy. All of which is saying nothing about the guards. I call them guards anyway, Lena calls them nasties. They¡¯re amorphous blobs of greeny white goo that try to melt your face off and eat it.

    I¡¯ll be honest, this place better have some damn good goodies at the end of it, because it¡¯s being ridiculous right now! We have managed to fight our way through five separate, but damn near identical chambers. All stomachs, and all subtly different shades of yellow and green. Onica had gathered a few Tinglewood vats of each for study and, uh, how¡¯d she put it? Precise application at the best location at the appropriate time. Whatever that is supposed to mean when referring to several large barrels of super nasty gunk.

    Wave after wave of these guard goobers have come at us, and I¡¯ve noticed they are getting more and more retardant. Or fire-proof. Whichever you prefer. I am exhausted, I have been exhausted, and I imagine I will continue to be exhausted until we finally managed to break free from this thing¡­ I really am not looking forward to the last step on that process.

    To the best of my knowledge, the things that I eat are either vomited out, or uh, passed. I¡¯ve been trying not to think about it.

    Ugh! Oh geez, I thought about it¡­ This really gives new meaning to being called a piece of shit.

    I¡¯m gonna go sleep now, Onica is on watch duty, but after her it¡¯s Lena, then it¡¯s my shift, so I gotta grab some shut eye while I can.

    Goodnight.

 Harmless fun and games

    Hello again! Everything smells like a fart.

    Nothing much has changed, we are still lost in the bowels of the beast, and we are still fighting to survive. We managed to get out of the stomachs at least, all eight of them. Now we find ourselves in a much narrower, longer passage. It smells like a million farts, and when I use my tingles to make fire it¡¯ll cause large, smelly, explosions about half the time.

    Interestingly enough, when the explosions end the air doesn¡¯t stink quite as bad as before, but the bad smells just keep coming back. Which leads to more explosions. It¡¯s not the best situation, but I suppose it could be worse.

    Fen can make a wind barrier of some kind to keep the smells and explosions from us, but he doesn¡¯t for the most part. Apparently, ¡°Farts are funny.¡± even, or especially, when they explode. Lena and Onica disagree, but we can¡¯t, or won¡¯t, force him to do something he doesn¡¯t want to, and he does keep the explosions at bay, so that¡¯s nice.

    The biggest change has to be in the guard goobers. They¡¯ve completely changed, from snotty balls of slow yuck, into skittering creeps with no faces and lots of fangs. Where before they were pretty much amorphous, or gooey, now they are rigid, and look like a collection of straight lines.

    Luckily, these changes aren¡¯t at all good for them. They¡¯re super fragile now, and every time the fart smell builds up enough to create another explosion, hundreds of the swarming skitterers shatter into so many shards of stuff. It¡¯s honestly pretty fun to watch.

    The weird fat red grass that covers the floors, walls, and ceilings of this new area then kind of eat them. I say kind of, because the chunks of skitterer melt into goo, and then get sucked into the grass. I tried throwing some leftover meat into the grass, out of curiosity, and the same thing happened.

    So basically, do not touch the lawn here, because it will eat you.

    In order to prevent ourselves from being eaten as much as possible, I have molded the Ivars Dream into a cat. It keeps us away from the hungry grass, gives us a height advantage against the skitterer guards, and looks absolutely adorable.

    It¡¯s a Tubby Tabby Tank!

    Meow meow, out the way!

    It¡¯s been a long day.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    There is always a price to pay.

    We haven¡¯t got time to stay.

    So get out of our meowing way!

    Or your lives we will take away!

    Charge~!

    Written by Lena (with help from big bro and Fen.)

    Just like the ditty declares, it has been another long day. I wonder how long has passed in truth. If we are just going off of meals, then it has been three days since we left the stomachs. Maybe less, since we are pretty gluttonous at the best of times, but nothing has really changed down here. Well, when I say that I¡¯m talking about the scenery.

    Onica has been mixing stuff with the various different barrels of stomach acids, and now we have a variety of colors and smells. None of the colors are friendly, and none of the smells are delightful. But it¡¯s a good way to spend some time, staring into the ever shifting, slowly bubbling red, purple, and brown fluids as Onica stirs them with a long glass rod and mutters to herself.

    She¡¯s a special one alright.

    There are some good things about being in here though. The temperature stays pretty dang stable, which makes sleep comfy. There is always something to do, mostly defend the Tabby Tank, but still, it¡¯s a good way to pass the time. And we have fun trying to damage the largest portion of the beasts guts with a single attack.

    It¡¯s simple competition born from boredom, but it does keep us entertained. Also, revenge. Teach you to eat us! Even, though I suppose we sort of got ourselves eaten¡­ Or more accurately, I got us eaten by sailing directly into it. But that doesn¡¯t really matter, and shouldn¡¯t be of interest to anyone, ever.

    Onica doesn¡¯t compete, because for all her terrifying ability, she just isn¡¯t as good as the rest of us at spreading carnage without touching. So she¡¯s the judge. There have been a few minor rule disputes, like when Fen spawned a hundred bolts of lightning and sent them crashing into the walls of the tunnel. I argued that he had made one hundred attacks, and he claimed to have simply made one attack that struck one hundred times.

    Come to think of it, I don''t know that we ever did decide on a ruling for that¡­

    Anyway, Julius isn¡¯t really that good at it. He tends to hit really hard in a small area, so he¡¯ll leave a nice deep scorched pit in the tunnel, but it isn¡¯t that wide. Average score: 4/10

    Lena will coat a swathe of the tunnel in thick ice, or make a huge water blade to carve it up. Average score: 6/10

    Fen blasts it with lightning, or ravages it with a tornado full of wind blades. Average score 7/10

    I just set everything I can reach on fire, and let the flames burn nice and hot for a good long time. Average score 8/10

    When we all work together, we wreck the place pretty impressively. Flaming tornadoes and exploding electric ice shards fill the air, while waves of dancing fire and lightning cover the ground. Max score 23/10. But we don¡¯t do that too often, because everytime we do another huge wave of those guards come after us, and the tunnel shrinks a bit. So it¡¯s more of a once a day thing than a once an hour thing.

    That¡¯s pretty much what we¡¯ve been doing lately. Besides the usual eating, chatting, singing, and general carrying-on we do everyday. I wouldn¡¯t wager tomorrow will be all that different.

    Goodnight.

 The more things change, the more they stay the same

    Hello again! Things have changed, but by the same token nothing has really changed.

    A few more cycles of meals and naps after my last entry we were still wandering through the vast winding bowels of a mysterious giant beast. Keeping ourselves amused with games and explosions, all while fending off the ravening hordes of guards that didn¡¯t like us punching great gaping holes of charred awesomeness into their host.

    Over and over again we followed the same patterns. Got to the point that, well, wouldn¡¯t you know it, we got bored. So, we decided to try and hurry things along. I¡¯m not sure whose idea it was at first, but someone pointed out that the beastie we were currently residing in was probably a lot longer than they were wide. So, we had been going the long way, when there was a clear and obvious shortcut available.

    Go through the side, rather than the rear.

    Without a moment''s further consideration the tubby tabby tank collapsed and reformed into the wild hook drill. A spinning hurricane of razor sharp barbed hooks and slicing triangular fangs forming a cone in front of the spike wheeled box we were sitting in. All in glorious gleaming red tinglewood. A little, or a lot, of fire, ice, and lightning completed the ingenious contraption, and we plowed into the side of the tunnel at full speed.

    We cut through the guts with ease. Shredding, freezing, incinerating, and disintegrating everything in our way. For a minute I thought we¡¯d be out by lunchtime, but then we hit a snag. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Muscles. The soft and squishy innards were surrounded by multiple dense layers of tough fibrous muscle tissue. We were still making slow progress though, and I started to anticipate a dinner under the stars. Which is when we hit bone, and all forward progress halted completely. Nothing we did could make a dent in the colossal critters bones, and believe me, we tried.

    I made flames so hot they could melt through metal within seconds, but couldn¡¯t make a dent. Lena attempted to leach all moisture from within them in order to make them dry and brittle, to zero effect. Freezing them didn¡¯t seem to have any effect either. Julius hit them with what he claimed was enough force to knock over a mountain, nothing to show for it besides a bunny with a headache. Fen sent thousands of lightning bolts into the bone, for some reason I expected something to change, but nothing happened.

    Onica just looked at me funny when I asked if she wanted a turn.

    Eventually, tired and annoyed, we started to dig around the bone. Clearly we can¡¯t go through, right? So we must go around! And that is where we are right now. Still trying to get past this bone, tunneling through a world of bloody charred meat, which doesn¡¯t even taste good by the way, while fending off the increasingly rabid clouds of angry guards.

    A lot has changed, but everything seems pretty damn similar to me.

    Onica seems to be up to something. Lots of muttering under her breath and stirring up mysterious concoctions that we apparently aren¡¯t allowed to eat. I got yelled at when I snagged a little for a snack. Joke¡¯s on her though, it wasn¡¯t even very tasty. Yeah, I said it. Onica, you¡¯re a bad cook, and your snacks suck!

    I hope she doesn¡¯t read this. Why would I write that?! I must be tired. I think I¡¯ll head to bed.

    Goodnight. If I am murdered in my sleep, Onica did it.

 Take two of these, and call me in the morning

    Hello again! I had nearly forgotten the sweet taste of fresh air!

    Untainted by fumes from burning viscera, or the stench of decomposing and dissolving meat. Not a whiff of fart nor rot! Soooooooo, GOOD!

    Fen in particular has really perked up, he¡¯d been real quiet and reclusive for the last long while. Well, relatively. If you ignore the lightning bolts and thunder and all that. Once we got out he started spinning around like a top, HAH! Top-hat!

    Because he is a top hat, that was spinning around like a top, while being, in fact, a hat. I feel like that was funnier in my head, and then became much less amusing once I wrote it down¡­

    Where was I?

    Right, so he started spinning around, and laughing like a loon, then shot up into the cloudy gray skies overhead. With his laughter fading rapidly as he disappeared into the clouds I felt like he had lost his mind and wouldn¡¯t be coming back. I was wrong.

    With a thundering crash of, well, thunder, Fen launched a truly massive bolt of lightning down into the waves. For a moment, it looked like a new sun had appeared, connecting the heavens and earth in a single blinding column of terrifying majesty.

    The clouds and the seas began dancing. Shifting clouds and surging waves seeming to nearly touch as every cloud in the sky began sprinting straight towards Fen. The lightning bolt, which had persisted much longer than natural, flickered briefly before twisting in on itself and slamming into the underside of the newly formed giant orb of clouds.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    With a, literally, deafening bang and a, literally, blinding flash the clouds were sent blasting in all directions, racing towards the horizon. As I worked to fix my blasted eyes and ears I was drenched by an unnaturally dense curtain of rain, which thankfully passed as quickly as it arrived. It rushed off into the distance. Hopefully it disperses before it bothers anyone.

    Well, at least it cleaned all the caked on crud off of the Ivers Dream. Just goes to show, everyone needs to let off some steam from time to time. Some people knit, some jog, some create massive and uncontrollable weather systems spontaneously and unleash them upon the surroundings. Takes all kinds.

    Going back a bit, I feel I should mention how we escaped the belly of the beast. Onica did it. She accomplished with her vats of unstable chemicals what all the fire in the world couldn¡¯t manage. Turns out the beasts own gut juice, when mixed with some glowing bits of rock and other noxious and unctuous elixirs, can eat through bone quite easily. Judging from the near inaudible, incredibly low, screaming we have been hearing ever since the mixture is still burning happily through the big fellas system.

    That¡¯ll teach him. What it will teach him exactly, I am not entirely sure. Maybe not to fall asleep within sailing distance of us? A valuable lesson, I imagine.

    Now then, I have set up a hammock between two lovely masts, and I wish to spend my first night outside the guts in the fresh air. Goodnight, tomorrow, we go looking for pirate treasure! Again¡­ Surely we can¡¯t keep getting side tracked, right?

 A think was thought

    Hello again! There is something magical about a sunset.

    After a long day of losing card games because Onica is a cheat and Lena is a fast learner, there is nothing that calms my frazzled mind quite like gazing at the vibrant purples, pinks, and reds of the setting sun.

    It looks like the entire sky is alight with some mysterious fire¡­

    I wonder if I could light the entire sky on fire?

    I bet I could.

    I just got yelled at.

    Apparently, it is considered quite rude, and also illegal, to try and set the sky on fire. Who would have guessed? Anyway, we¡¯ve been making what I assume is good progress. In what I assume is the right direction. Lena assures me it is in fact the right direction and that I need to ¡°Stop navigating with your gut!¡±

    I respectfully disagree.

    My gut has gotten me to every meal I can ever remember! My gut is what led me to eat glowing fungus in a sewer! My gut is what led me to Julius, Lena, Onica, and Fen! My gut might make errors, but it never makes mistakes!

    Well, I guess if we know where we are going, and how to get there, then it might be kind of unnecessary to use my gut. But since when did I let that stop me?

    Just because something is completely unnecessary doesn¡¯t mean it is bad.

    Take dessert for example.

    You are already full. Your nutrition needs have been fully met, and in some cases exceeded. More food would be entirely unnecessary, or even downright unhealthy. But what kind of madman would you have to be to turn your nose up at dessert?This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    What? Did that pie insult you or something?

    No? Then swallow your pride, and swallow that pie!

    I wonder if a pie even can insult someone? I mean, I would have never guessed a tophat would be capable of pranks and bad art. It seems like anything is possible in this wonderful mad world we live in.

    How marvelous!

    I must keep my eyes out for a sentient wildberry cobbler or philosophical fruit tart. I think we could have a very full and rich, if brief, friendship. Actually, I wonder if I even should eat it, should I find one.

    I do wear Fen as a hat on occasion, but it doesn¡¯t cause him any harm. He seems to quite enjoy it actually. Might be like how Onica likes to meditate sometimes. She just sits very still and very silent.

    Like a hat.

    Nothing can sit quite as still as a hat. Not even a rock!

    I should know, Fen once had a sit-off with a smallish boulder. The boulder moved first.

    Honest!

    Lena did say Fen cheated, and used his wind to wobble the boulder. But we didn¡¯t exactly make up a whole long list of rules, so I figure it is still a valid claim.

    Lena does that a lot, I¡¯ve noticed. She likes to make up rules for things, and then not tell anyone else the rules. Until you break them of course. Like, well, like setting the sky on fire for example. Where is it written that a man isn¡¯t allowed to set the sky on fire?

    Nowhere, I bet.

    Then there are rules like, don¡¯t walk around naked, don¡¯t stare blankly into the ether while mumbling incoherently, don¡¯t scratch your ass then sniff your finger, don¡¯t eat the last bit of food she was saving. Loads of stuff.

    To be fair, she follows her own rules at least. Though I¡¯m beginning to suspect that isn¡¯t as hard for her as it is for me¡­

    It isn''t like I really mind all that much though, honestly. Without Julius, Lena, Onica, and Fen I would be a very sad man. Fire may be warm, but it isn¡¯t the best company.

    The sun is down now. All alone in the sky all day long, and as soon as it goes away millions of stars come out to play.

    I wonder if the sun gets lonely?

    Goodnight.