ã€ŠTotem God Systemã€‹


 Too Perfect

    Falling through the cosmos I landed on a tin planet, dropping through it to a beautiful face petting the stars with the tips of her fingers. She looked like eight suns combined into one, and had the mannerisms of a true goddess, grabbing me as I skyrocketed through the cosmos as a comet unbridled from its physical body.

    ¡°Your sweet face is enchanting. Would you like to join me for a date?¡± She seemed to shrink in front of my eyes, becoming an angel like fairy glistening in the backdrop of stars.

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t remember why I¡¯m here. I have an important purpose, but I lost track of it.¡± I wanted to really remember my former glories, but all I had in my head were singular memories.

    Smiles of people from a place called Earth. A window, set of glasses, a motor cycle, bright lights, and a truck the size of a mountain. I rummaged through my mind before I realized nothing could help me but the fairy guiding me through space.

    ¡°You¡¯re a traumatized soul. Tragedy has taken your identity, but not affected your spirit.¡± She tapped my head causing images to flood in rapidly. ¡°However, I¡¯ll grant you a gift of immortality. As long as you promise to remember me.¡±

    ¡°Why would you do something like that for me?¡± I had no idea. ¡°Please tell me your name! Tell me how I can find you again!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re my entertainment. You¡¯re the person I trust the most in the universe. Out of your last 10,000 reincarnations, all of them have been extremely enchanting.¡±

    ¡°Oh, so¡­ I¡¯m the ladies entertainment. Where am I off to this time?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re off to the one world that only exists once in a soul¡¯s eternity. In fact, you¡¯ll have a chance to be immortal, and refine a soul strong enough to rival even me.¡±

    ¡®Conceited much?¡¯ I laughed hoping she couldn¡¯t read my thoughts.

    ¡°I am, but it¡¯s because I¡¯m literally perfect. I can¡¯t do anything, see, aren¡¯t I beautiful?¡±

    ¡°Yes, you are too damn perfect. However, will I remember you?¡±

    ¡°Because you said that, I¡¯ll give you a fairy!¡± The lady smiled, waving a wand in my face. ¡°If you keep being so charming, I might make it impossible for you to die.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just being honest. You¡¯re the center of the universe, right?¡±

    ¡°Oh! An extra life!¡± She tapped my shoulder.

    ¡°Then how about a system?¡± I complimented her again, very honestly.

    ¡°perfect human body!¡± then again.

    ¡°Most handsome guy in the universe,¡± then again.

    ¡°Blessed by the cosmos? Karmic Luck?! Genius above all Geniuses?!¡± finally I ran out of compliments.

    ¡°Hmmm, I¡¯d make you good with women, but you already have that skill. In the next minute, you will forget me, but I will always remember your charm.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, I¡¯m happy you didn¡¯t make me too broken.¡± I said, laughing at her charming smile. ¡°Hope the universe can handle me coming after you.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, you know what. Just because you said that, I¡¯ll reincarnate with you!¡± just like that, the most supreme goddess of the universe decided to join me on my adventure. The stars around us lit up, and we broke light speed before I forgot who I¡¯d been and where I was supposed to be.

    I guess that¡¯s how I reincarnated as the Perfect Being. It¡¯s a shame no one likes you when you¡¯re perfect, and that¡¯s why I had so much trouble the first ten years of my life.

    ¡­.

    I remember the first time I picked up a sword, I instantly learned the level one technique called Master the Stars. The master at the dojo thought I¡¯d reincarnated from the Dark Halls of Hell, and righteously sent an entire battalion of soldiers after my family in the Red Earth Mountains.

    I remember being snuck out by my mom and dad, and having the luckiest encounter with a set of bandits. They had been saved by my mom and dad when they were fifteen, and were each secretly girls hiding behind town boy clothing.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.

    When I found out my family died in a horrible massacre, these three became my family, and regularly taught me how to steal using my handsome looks. Even though I was ten, I caused many older women to fall in love with me, and spend money taking care of me, buying me free food and stuff.

    By the time this caught the news of King Vale, an old bald bloke, my three bandit grandfather¡¯s died, leaving me with nothing but a journey to the untamable forest.

    Of course, I remembered a few words from a goddess in my dreams saying I had the luck of the heavens on my side. If this happened to be luck, I didn¡¯t want to know what would happen to unlucky karmic folks that reincarnated. If I knew reincarnation could be just a hard class in the meta of this planet, I might have chosen just to drift through space, enjoying the burden of feeling nothing and yet not caring.

    Still, of course, a family of feral animals were smitten by my looks, and started bringing food to my little hole in the woods, so I spent most of my days petting the animals and tending to the flock.

    At that point, it seemed my luck finally turned to gold, and a little fairy floated over to me with endless praises for my animals. She reminded me of someone, but I merely told her that they were mine, and she couldn¡¯t have them.

    Unfortunately, I¡¯d never seen a fairy mad before, and had no idea magic existed in this world. I¡¯d heard of reclusive cultivators, but getting attacked by a meat eating fairy really surprised me. After a few hard battles, where I used a stick to try and stop her magic, she ended up eating my pet bunnies and causing me to venture to the temple on top of Lord Mountain.

    Up in the tip of Lord Mountain, not a single person remained. Apparently, a plague had wiped out everyone, and all that remained were bones. I secretly suspected I¡¯d caused this in some way, by my so called divine luck, but I also happened to be the only one to live on this precipice for more than four years.

    I¡¯d never felt so damn confused in my entire life, but I at least enjoyed the unfettered winds, and beautiful scenery. The trees were all falling over, and nothing remained green, but the lava raining down the mountain made me feel right at home.

    I actually wished for it to one day reach the village, but it ended up surrounding me and leaving me with a hole and no way out. Of course, because of my so called karmic luck, it rained deep fried birds, many of my old friends, and I had no choice but to eat them.

    I swore if I ever survived, I¡¯d show this world who¡¯s boss, and sure enough I did survive. For three years, I discovered how slow lava can move, and how beautiful the waves of lava can be. Even the ugly trees were gone at this point, and villages for mile had been wrecked.

    I literally remained the only person alive for hundreds of miles, and I enjoyed it as more and more bird skeletons piled up, filling up the land so much that I could barely walk without seeing something dead and cute.

    Finally, I realized a small house existed underneath a pile of soot and drying lava. I conquered my fears of dying and crawled into that narrow space with my chin held high! Nothing could get in my way of discovering my destiny! Not even the plank falling towards me head at this moment!

    Whoosh!

    I dodged the plank and the little screws that tried to skewer me to the floor. As this was happening, I kept wondering if a person could have too much luck. The goddess, which I vaguely remembered, said she¡¯d give me all these great abilities, but all I received was trouble from the heavens.

    I¡¯m guessing there was such thing as too much luck, and sure enough I don¡¯ think the universe had rules to deal with someone like me, so it just kept trying to kill me. Luckily, part of the universe seemed to be on my side, and it regularly caused odd occurrences like a small hole in a valley of death.

    Stepping on the skeleton of a dead lady, poor soul, I finally discovered a small book called the Seven Paths of Heaven Body. I eagerly read the first ten pages of the book, and legitimately felt stumped. I didn¡¯t learn it instantly? Something had to be wrong with the information in this book!

    ¡°Heh, you thought life would only give you lemons right?¡± A strange voice said, appearing behind me. ¡°However, no one in history has learned the Seven Paths of Heaven Body! Reading even the first page causes men and women to die horrendous deaths.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be fine,¡± Really, didn¡¯t I have that already? ¡°Now, please leave me alone and let me read. You don¡¯t want to be my friend!¡±

    ¡°Oh, like something bad can happen to me, kid! I¡¯m a totem! I couldn¡¯t be destroyed if the heaven¡¯s struck me with lightning!¡±

    ¡°The heavens,¡± I had enough of them, ¡°They give you lemonade and turn it into lemons.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re demented kid. I¡¯ll give you that!¡± The totem on the desk laughed. ¡°Now, tell me! How many words in the book did you see?! 100 ¨C 200?!¡±

    ¡°50,926. However, I¡¯m still stuck on 50,927¡­¡± I¡¯d lost all hope in my intelligence.

    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ you¡¯re kidding! Pick me up, then, and turn to page 11.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± I picked up the red, white, and green totem that had my favorite creatures that had been brutally murdered by the vehement fairy of meat and death. I turned to page 11, and the little totem seemed generally shocked.

    ¡°You¡­ you aren¡¯t human. Kid, run for your life. It¡¯s about to get real bad.¡±

    ¡°How could it get bad? I already killed all of Lord Mountain¡¯s nearby villagers. What else could I destroy besides myself?¡±

    ¡°kid, you might just destroy the world in a few hours. Go over there and put me in the corner. I don¡¯t want you taking me with you!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry! We¡¯ll be fine!¡± Like that, me and the totem became best friends. For all eternity, we¡¯d be compadres, and I finally didn¡¯t have to be lonely anymore.

    However, the strangest chill started spreading down my bones as the volcano that had been spewing lava stopped its river of death and destruction. I could only suspect I¡¯d caused an Ice age, or a nuclear winter, because the volcano had been constantly erupting for so long.

    Luckily, I took a warm coat from the dead worshipers on the Buddhist Temples doorstep and made my way along the death filled roads of our changing world. It seemed like a great day to get started with my journey!

 Meat Eating Fairy

    The windchill reached below zero as me and totem went over 200 miles to reach my home town. It seemed the people who¡¯d killed my parents, most likely forced themselves up upon my sister, and caused me to meet the bandits had begun remodeling the city.

    My family had been known as the Xi family, a powerful family that had given me my name, Gregory, when they saw my handsome face at birth. The wet nurses had been so surprised by my looks that they accepted no pay to take care of me, and the doctors in the town regularly looked up to me.

    However, as I earlier explained, the first dojo I¡¯d visited had been teaching the Master of the Stars Technique to anyone who could pick up a thousand-pound sword. No, it didn¡¯t actually way a thousand pounds, but required a cultivators body to wield it.

    In fact, the name thousand pounds came from the idea that one in a thousand people could pick up the sword, and you¡¯d need to crawl over a thousand bodies to pick it up! When I finally got my chance to pick up the sword, the dojo members seemed thrilled to give me free lessons, and payed my family handsomely to let me take lessons!

    It seemed I became the talk of the town as the one in a thousand genius! However, what is a genius without having to face a thousand vicious and jealous martial artists, who want to rip of your head? Hence, I tried to remain lowkey, learning since pre-K people didn¡¯t like it when you were too excellent. In fact, I tried to hold back when I first used Master of the Stars, and generated a golden halo around my body!

    I thought they¡¯d say good job, but the dojo leader cursed me as a reincarnated bloke, which I already mentioned, and I obviously wanted some revenge on my little self. Now, as an eighteen-year-old, I had the privilege of returning to that dojo with the Seven Paths of Heaven¡¯s Body and a little totem whose mouth I had to tape in order to ensure its safety.

    They look flabbergasted seeing a poor person in their dojo establishment, I hadn¡¯t yet found a new pair of clothes, and proceeded to hit me with a cane causing my body to turn to copper.

    The first level of the Seven Paths of Heaven¡¯s Body, the copper body, caused my handsome form to look even more heavenly, and I could tell people didn¡¯t take well to it. Of course, what could I do but return fire, and hit the two old men caning me across the face.

    The Seven Paths of Heaven¡¯s Body also bolstered my muscles in conflict, and they bashed so hard into the wall I was pretty sure they weren¡¯t breathing. I took a few deep breaths and prayed for them, remembering some prayers I¡¯d learned from the dead monks by the volcano, and stumbled up to the third floor where all the masters drank tea and played board games will discussing the universe.

    I saw one man, the one who told me to call him master, and his cultivation sword. They had always called the Master of the Stars Technique one of the best in the West Cities. You know, the ones west of the east cities, and I figured it was just the sword, so I never used it in my countless fights.

    Perhaps even though I was smart, you could call me na?ve and unlearned. Again, without going into details, I got kicked out of secondary school for making the teachers¡¯ desire me in front of their husbands. After the principle heard my name in his bedroom, I had no choice but to hire a scholar to teach me, but he hated me enough to just teach me the basics of reading and writing.

    In my world, I could perhaps be considered the smartest idiot, and didn¡¯t dare deny hide that title in this god fittingly awful situation. I got that sword and held it in my hands, waving it back as eight old men laughed at me.

    ¡°You really think the sword makes the man?¡± One old gentlemen said, ¡°The sword doesn¡¯t make the man. A weapon is only as valuable as their user¡¯s best skill!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re never going to fool me.¡± I just had that type of see through disposition, understanding the truth from lies instantly. ¡°I¡¯m going to show you why the weapon matters more than any skill!¡±

    They laughed and I waited. Awkward pauses were the worst, but we made fit by attacking each other willing ravishing killing intent. I, of course, chose this time to use Master of the stars, and a strange feeling spread out of my arms.

    ¡°Heh, kid! You reached the 2<sup>nd</sup> Heavenly Stage!¡±

    ¡°What? Why is your mouth piece off!¡± I cursed at my pet totem. What if something bad happened to him?!

    ¡°I don¡¯t talk! I just kept quiet to make you feel special.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fighting!¡± I dodged to the side. ¡°Now, who should I hit first?¡±

    ¡°Why are you asking me?! Just hit all of them, I guess.¡±

    His point made a lot of sense, so I used Master of the Stars towards the closest opponent. Seeing Starlight shoot off the hilt of my sword, an aurora of bright colors, that man fighting me soon popped off into the distance, and accidentally died when he landed.

    The six remaining old men in the room, one had unfortunately been taken along for the ride, gasped before pointing at me. I could tell they weren¡¯t properly educated on manners.

    Yes, I¡¯d learned all about manners from the scholar who only taught me basic skills. He seemed preoccupied with etiquette, telling me how to talk to ladies, and how not to get in trouble. It¡¯s a shame everything he said the bandits proved wrong, and my heart always drifted to my three uncle, aunty bandits.

    Regardless, I couldn¡¯t let the destroyers of my family just run off, could I? No, I used the bamboo sword in my hand and struck out with a vigorous attack! It was a special bamboo sword, so it did enough damage to make blood drip out of the old man who¡¯d been the master of the dojo.

    I say master because I was the master now. ¡°Who¡¯s your daddy b*tch!¡± Me, Gregory, stomped on his head and made sure he didn¡¯t live. I heard cultivators could survive vigorous conditions, so I threw him to the bottom of the lake out of the wall.

    I¡¯m guessing the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body made me strong because when I was four I only had above average strength, and the old man flew nearly 5000 meters, landing perfectly in the lake with the rabid demon beasts that would eat him dead or alive.

    I prayed he was actually dead, but how could I know? At this point, The three old men had already escaped, and I could only return to my old manor which had been turned into a cemetery.

    That night, which I called the day of revenge, became the first night I slept six feet under. No, seriously, the only place with padding happened to be a casket, so I graciously took it from a person who didn¡¯t need it, and began snoring in it.

    Mind you, I respected the dead, but such a timid man didn¡¯t need his gifts, or the jewels in his hands. Uncle Benny, my favorite thief uncle, would definitely approve of me.

    The next morning, the sun rose, and I woke up surrounded by countless spears and swords. My sister even happened to be standing in the center of the swords and spears, crying as she blamed me for being born to everyone around her.

    Excuse me, but didn¡¯t mom and dad decide that when they joined bodies? I may not be a genius, but I knew mother and father butted heads at some point to make me! Isn¡¯t that how you make children? No one ever told me!

    Regardless, I didn¡¯t want to be bothered, and closed my eyes and pretended I was like Old Ted, the man¡¯s grave I¡¯d taken, and tried to remain perfectly still. My sister finally stopped crying and gave that awkward cough that said we¡¯re waiting.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you see I¡¯m dead? Did you lose your eyes in the afterlife?¡±

    ¡°Brother? You really think you can survive by playing dead. What happened to you when you were ten? You disappeared, and left us all to die.¡±

    ¡°I was stolen by the birds.¡± That wasn¡¯t far from the truth. ¡°The birds of west bandit took me.¡±

    ¡°He was taken by bandits. You already know this April. Why don¡¯t we kill him so you can forget all about it?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you guys hear the news though. An extremely handsome man wiped out the Star Dojo! Couldn¡¯t it be him?!¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s been raised by animals, no way.¡± April pointed towards her Gregory, me, and I felt somewhat terrified that I didn¡¯t get my eight hours of sleep! How dare thee take my eight hours of sleep!Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    ¡°Roar!¡± I yawned and got out of the casket. Jumping nearly ten feet into the air, I once again impressed myself, and landed in front of the audience. ¡°I am going to make you regret not accepting I was dead. Dead men are not easy opponents!¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s insane.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s inane.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s dumber than I remember.¡± April conceded. ¡°He used to be smart. He must have gone crazy because no one likes him!¡±

    ¡°I like you,¡± My totem interjected. ¡°You¡¯re blessed kid. Maybe not on the planetary level, but in the long run you¡¯re blessed!¡±

    I weighted what he meant but didn¡¯t come to any conclusions. However, in a minute or two, I completely concurred with my Totem, nicknamed Tee Tee for short, at least syllabically shorter, and then began looking for the first unlucky person to be sent into a mountain.

    Gregory had a hard time deciding, yes, I sometimes describe myself in the third person, so I grabbed a spear coming towards me chest, and took a swing at the left flank.

    There were also soldiers all around me, cornering me to death, but my strength exceeded my expectations. It turned out, against mortals, even the slight swing of my arm would create a gust large enough to send them off their feet. Nearly 100 soldiers were taken off the ground and sent at least 200 meters into the sky before I gulped.

    ¡°What goes in must come out.¡± My mother used to say when I used the bathroom, or was that the wrong quote, and all of their souls left their bodies as they fed the animals starving in the wilderness with their dead carcasses.

    My sister, April, seemed shocked by my attack, and burst out crying and crawled to my knees. Her husband, seeming even more worried than she, banged his head so hard against the floor that I felt bad for him.

    ¡°You all are horrible people. Go live for two years on that mountain, in separate quarters, and repent for your sins!¡± I didn¡¯t want my reputation to be that bad, so I let them go with a warning.

    April, however, convinced me she¡¯d been forced to be with her captor Kong Hon, and I forgave her by making her cook me dinner. She gladly put a gigantic meal on the table, but it tasted a little bitter, so I spit it out as she began crying again.

    ¡°So, I let you go, and you poison me!¡± This was getting old.

    ¡°Yes, but only because I wanted to prove to you I loved you!¡± April had clearly lost herself to a cultivation devil, and I had to write this wrong!

    ¡°It¡¯s not a cultivation devil, idiot.¡± Totem could respond to my thoughts. ¡°She¡¯s trying to get rid of you, so her husband doesn¡¯t have to rot. Haven¡¯t you heard of Stockholm syndrome?¡±

    ¡°Why, what is that? Some kind of disorder?!¡±

    ¡°Yes, however, you can¡¯t forgive her! You absolutely can¡¯t forgive her!¡±

    ¡°Go to your room!¡± I swore towards April on Tee Tee¡¯s behalf. She immediately bowed and hugged me saying thank you over and over again. Such a punishment truly suited her crime.

    Of course, the next morning, I had her cook me breakfast without poison as I began mulling over the Second Level of the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body. I could only make it five to ten words this time before Totem suggested I go to a Sect.

    I¡¯d heard about Sects from the Bandits. They always wanted to rob Grey Village Sect because only ten cultivators remained there, and they were the last on the Heavenly Sect Rankings. It all came down to prestige, and being ranked the last made no one want to join their sect, so of course I had to go provide moral support!

    I figured I¡¯d train them with the disasters I brought, and whatever bloodshed I made, I¡¯d return with glory. So, after leaving April alone to watch over her husband and the captives on Mount Star, I went on a journey. A very long journey!

    Boy, did I have fun!

    I met a merchant, and we told stories about crazy times in our lives! He even had heard of the crazy, meat eating fairy before and I welcomed his tales about trying to grow his harem of beauties!

    However, there was so little time to truly learn about each other. Instead, I spent most of my time reading about the world, learning everything there is to learn, and staying clear of History, Politics, and anything related to Human Relations!

    My Scholar had made it very clear these topics are not for cultivators! Did he secretly try to destroy me because of my good looks?! Maybe, but I had so much dirt on my face no one could see the perfect black hair, multi colored eyes, and one freckle on the right side of my body! Asymmetry, it turned out, was perfect for long lasting beauty, and I stumbled away from the Merchant, Chang, as he went along robbing more and more unsuspecting guests.

    Such a nice man, Chang, he reminded me of my bandit uncles more than anyone I¡¯d ever met before.

    Regardless, the Snow Bloom Sect was truly as horrible as I suspected, and the gates were falling off. I felt at home, and walked inside as the door fell off! For once, that wasn¡¯t because of my bad luck but because of bad maintenance! Even the dead animals that weren¡¯t cleaned weren¡¯t because of me. No, not the dead rabbits, or foxes, or toads! This was the type of place I belonged, and boy did I forget to pack any money.

    ¡­

    When I started working in the Snow Bloom Sect, I merely washed dishes as I got to meet my fellow unlucky friends. Unlike me, they were all somewhat normal looking, but had a profound work ethic that inspired me to do great things with my life!

    Even if it meant taking on the universe, I¡¯d do it because Mark, the one-foot cultivator had taught me to hop along! I¡¯d also do it because Jasmine, the beautiful Jay, had cut off her hair to pursue the dao. Boy did she look like a man when she wore a long sleeve kimono!

    As for the other eight members of the Snow Bloom Sect, they greeted me with various niceties no one had ever graced me with. I guess when you¡¯re at the bottom, even the people at the top deserve your kindness. I¡¯d found my base, my people! I would make this place great again!

    ¡°Gregory. You¡¯re totally leaving stains all over these dishes.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, I was focused on making them perfect for you Jay. Your head looks pretty today.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. However, I know you¡¯re lying. I¡¯ve heard you call me ordinary in my sleep.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t sleep talk.¡± I really didn¡¯t. ¡°Now, what¡¯s going on with the boss? Did he finally get us a mission from the Overlords Emissary?!¡±

    ¡°You mean our boss actually doing his job? No, he¡¯s extorting us so he can sleep all day. This place shouldn¡¯t even exist, but we¡¯re on welfare!¡±

    ¡°Good to know. He does seem like a good guy.¡± I harkened to her talk for a few more hours. Flowers bloomed on the fields behind her as she kept yacking. Boy, could Jay talk! She made old Uncle, Aunty Benny look like a quiet guy, and he always had a few words to say to everyone!

    Jay digressed to topics about shoes, cooking, and filled in some gaps in my knowledge. Perhaps for me this should¡¯ve been called morality school, and I learned and learned and learned.

    She taught me how to farm the fields with my hands, and for the first time in my life I didn¡¯t kill what I touched. Not that I¡¯d ever actually killed something by touching it, but no one tried to kill it because I stepped on it.

    Something felt like the world truly wanted me to enjoy myself. However, when the next day came, once again, Jay had something new to tell me about, and a new place to take me.

    We went to the remains of Lord Mountain, boy did I lie to her! She wanted to see if we could find the goddess of hope, and I did my best to tell her hope didn¡¯t exist, but she didn¡¯t believe me.

    So, we spent the next two days venturing into the forest, and finally we saw a small glowing light. At this point, Tee Tee kept saying run, but I didn¡¯t bother to listen to him. It was me and my old friend, the savage fairy.

    ¡°Can¡­ Can you help us?¡± Jay couldn¡¯t see the fairies face, and only saw the savage shadow.

    Boy, what a shadow!

    It looked like a giant mouth was munching on a rabbit! I covered her eyes before she swatted me away. It¡¯s not like I didn¡¯t try!

    ¡°Excuse me?! Are you the great fairy of Lord Mountain?!¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s asking?! I¡¯m trying to eat here?! Why are you bothering me!!!!¡±

    ¡°Wait, you! I remember you!¡± The fairy fluttered over to Jay, blood dripping down her face. ¡°You¡¯re that guy who made me miss dinner time! What do you two fools want!¡±

    ¡°You know her!¡± Totem became shocked! ¡°The destroyer of forests! The Green Queen of Death.¡±

    ¡°We had a tussle or two.¡± I remarked, patting Jay on her bald head. ¡°Now, why would I run from this heathen! It¡¯s time I teach her a lesson.¡±

    ¡°She has the power to summon pure energy and use it to attack! She¡¯s a pure form fairy! One of the most evil creatures to ever exist!¡±

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t seem that bad.¡± I knew how to judge character. Finally, I spoke to Jay as she and the fairy stared into each other¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°Jay, you in there jay?¡± She didn¡¯t respond. ¡°Little bird. Tell me what happened to jay.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m reading her mind. Trying to figure out if I should kill her or not.¡±

    ¡°Oh, keep going. She¡¯s my favorite person on earth.¡±

    ¡°Really? What do you like about her?¡± Little bird responded, holding her arms akimbo. ¡°What? You don¡¯t like me, and you like this man!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a cute women. She¡¯s just practicing how to be a man.¡± I told her straight.

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yup?¡± ¡®Of course!¡¯

    ¡°Can I kill her?¡±

    ¡°Nope?¡± I hoped not.

    ¡°Can I kill you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll bite.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s talk over there. Why do we keep running into each other?¡±

    I walked with the fairy, picking up Jay in her blue robes, and dropped her by the bushes by the tree. She seemed completely comatose, and had no saliva left in her mouth. However, she was breathing! Compared to my previous feral animal parents, she really was keeping herself together!

    The fairy guided me down underneath the dirt, into a dark place, and walked me closer and closer to a red skull. I delighted seeing the image of the red skull, and placed Jay where she¡¯d be safe. Right next to the skull!

    ¡°So, what¡¯s up? She wanted something?!¡±

    ¡°Her sect is cursed, and she swore she won¡¯t grow her hair until the curse is removed.¡±

    ¡°Hmmm, so you want me to destroy it?¡±

    ¡°Will that get rid of the curse?¡±

    ¡°It would, but wouldn¡¯t that destroy the purpose?!¡± She felt weird, I could tell, being the voice of reason.

    ¡°Well, how about we destroy who casted the curse? Can you turn into a human?¡±

    ¡°I can be prettier than any girl if I want!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your name!¡±

    ¡°Beauty!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not your name!¡± At least I could tell she was lying. I had some redeeming qualities as a human line detector. ¡°Tell me your real name.¡±

    ¡°You promise not to tell?!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have friends,¡± I never lied, and told the truth.

    ¡°I chose it. I made myself just so you know!¡±

    ¡°Hurry up!¡± I got impatient, slamming my hand on the table.

    ¡°Heaven. My name is Heaven.¡±

    ¡°Hahahahaha! You suck at naming yourself! From now on your name shall be Apple! It¡¯s a much better name than heaven!¡±

    ¡°Really? I accept it!¡± Apple took her new name, and engraved it in her mind. ¡°Now, what do we do? Jade has been asleep for a while?!¡±

    ¡°I have a habit of killing people, plants, animals, foxes, bunnies, and even eating crickets. She¡¯s becoming the red skull. Do you want to stop it?¡±

    ¡°It sounds so cool, but I like having her as my female man! Let¡¯s take her and go save the sect!¡±

    I picked up poor Jay as her face stopped turning red and turned back its normal soft hue of pale jade. We then ventured over Lord Mountain and back to Snow Plume Sect. When we arrived, some hard looking people were attacking Gora, the leader of our sect, and the only one brave enough to run from them!

 Cultivation Woods

    Gora had been the first person who taught me how to sleep all day, and wait for the stars to rise. He¡¯d truly been a good person to learn from, and I swore I became lazier because of him.

    Unfortunately, Apple didn¡¯t like him the second she saw him, and put some kind of spell around him. The fire balls around him spun and burned anyone who approached him. I swore I¡¯d never seen someone get so traumatized without doing anything. He even began crazily running towards the people in black attacking our sect!

    At this moment, I knew bringing Apple was the wrong choice, but I still placed Jay down in the broken-down house before a few men flew across the sky and landed in front of the sect.

    Apple, seeming strangely on guard, alerted me to be careful, and thus I went to grab some dead armor from one of the people she¡¯d killed. The floating men looked at me funny, before laughing, and tossing an invitation into my hand.

    I¡¯d never been so shocked in my life.

    ¡°what does it say?¡± the totem couldn¡¯t read in my pocket. ¡°I can¡¯t understand it if you don¡¯t read it!¡±

    ¡°It says I¡¯m wanted. I¡¯m worth 20,000 heads.¡±

    ¡°Wow, you¡¯re worth almost as much as me!¡± Apple smiled, pulling out her letter. ¡°I knew we were meant to be best friends the moment I failed to eat you!¡±

    ¡°So, question. What is this for Apple?¡± I wanted to name her something better, but couldn¡¯t. ¡°Do we get 20,000 heads to keep?!¡±

    ¡°No! It means we¡¯re worth the weight in gold of 20,000 heads! Well I mean you! I¡¯m worth 21,000 heads!¡±

    ¡°Ridiculous! I should be worth more heads! Totem, who do I have to see to increase my head count!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re both the worst pair to arrive since Barnie and Claud.¡± He meant it. ¡°How about you just cultivate like I¡¯ve been asking you to.¡±

    ¡°Wait, can you hear him?¡± I asked Fairy, and she nodded her head.

    ¡°Yes, can¡¯t everyone understand the voices of nature?¡± She really thought it was nature, so I showed her the blindfolded totem.

    ¡°Very nice to meet you! I¡¯m the reason he¡¯s alive!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s a shame? Well, it used to be a shame but I like him a lot now. Like A LOT! He named me Apple!¡±

    ¡°I would¡¯ve called you Fairy,¡± I digressed as the people around us slept, or laid dead. ¡°Now, shall we go get more heads to add to our total?¡±

    ¡°No, you two! Absolutely not! How about you go get a mission from the Sect Leader? Otherwise, how can this place increase its rank?¡±

    Do I smell a plot? I wondered, finally feeling fulfilled. ¡°Alright! It¡¯s time for a grand adventure! Let¡¯s go find Gora!¡±

    Gora, of course, slept so soundly I couldn¡¯t find him for two hours. I almost thought he was dead, lying in a pile of bodies, but he hopped up and opened his eyes, taking the straw out of his mouth.

    ¡°You¡­ you found me! Please don¡¯t hurt me!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve forgotten me again, Gora. I¡¯m your eleventh disciple. You named me an outer sect disciple.¡±

    ¡°Oh right. You washed off your face. Wow, you look handsome.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡± First genuine compliment of my life. ¡°What¡¯s for dinner?¡±

    ¡°Wait, you came here for a reason!¡± Totem said, shaking in my pocket. ¡°Ask him about a mission! We need to increase the rank!¡±

    ¡°Oh, right! Gora¡­ Where is thy mission! Tell me so I may bloom forever more!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Gora scratched his head. ¡°I¡¯m old kid. Say something I¡¯d understand please?¡±

    ¡°How do I raise my head count?¡±

    ¡°What? Why would you want to get taller?¡±

    ¡°No, how do I help the Sect.¡±

    ¡°Oh! You mean a mission!¡±

    ¡°YES!¡± We had our first successful communication. ¡°What do you want me to do?!¡±

    ¡°There is a wise old man who said for every tree cut there is a thousand papers of wisdom to sell. Go cut down 10,000 trees and contemplate the clouds. Make it up to the 3<sup>rd</sup> Heavenly Stage while you¡¯re out there!¡±This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    ¡°Okay, I shall never disappoint you!¡± Who am I kidding. Of course something horrible would happen! However, I gave Gora a pat on the back, and found Jay humming in the forest attempting to cut down a set of steel looking trees.

    Something didn¡¯t seem right.

    Were these the trees?

    This should be an easy job for me, right?

    Well, picking up an ax, I started hacking at the vertical towers of cultivation wood and began strengthening my muscles with every swing! Something about this became extremely pivotal to my mental state, and I kept chopping and chopping causing the trees to shake.

    I¡¯d later find out that Cultivation Wood were trees with heart cores that also cultivated. Once they reached the 9<sup>th</sup> Heavenly Stage they could eventually turn into humans! However, I learned this after chopping down quite a few of them, causing the tree gods to get mad at me and sent hunters to kill me.

    Of course, the entire time, I focused on the Seven Paths of Heavenly Body and began to finally comprehend the 11<sup>th</sup> page! My dantian, this little pretty thing in my chest that stored my energy, started to spin quicker and quicker as it consolidated the Qi in the air around me!

    It turned out the thing that made me so strong was that Qi! Unfortunately, no matter how much of it I sucked up, I seemed like a hungry beast hoping to devour the universe. After an hour of chopping wood, and becoming one with nature, I leveled up to the 3<sup>rd</sup> Heavenly Stage, and left the entire Cultivation Forest in a pile of ruin!

    Of course, I wouldn¡¯t dare chop down the normal trees, and by the time I got to Jay¡¯s tree she seemed to be having some sort of insight. I left her there with her special tree, the one that had gotten away, and heard the final trees fall.

    It sounded like true beautiful women were crying, and I mourned the trees before finding Apple gamboling along a lake by the Sect, killing anything she saw with the biggest smile on her face.

    ¡°We are finally making a home for ourselves.¡± I told her, smiling at her. ¡°Unfortunately, the first mission I did left a nasty feeling in my stomach. I feel like someone or something is out to get me.¡±

    ¡°Is it me?¡± Apple answered, eating a rabbit. ¡°I¡¯d kill you, but you take to long to finish off.¡±

    ¡°No, you¡¯re just a little bird. I have bigger things to worry about!¡±

    ¡°You mean like the mountain behind you?¡±

    ¡°How do you know about Lord Mountain?!¡± My secret had gotten out. ¡°Did you tell anyone! Do Jay and Goro know?¡±

    ¡°Are you kidding me?! Why would I tell on you¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, thank you Apple.¡± I noticed a shadow draping over my body.

    ¡°Yup, have fun with the Tree Mountain behind you! He looks like he¡¯s angry!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just an illusion. I left the past behind me.¡± I replied, looking into her eyes.

    ¡°Okay, I believe you.¡± She rolled her eyes, and smiled happily. Was she thinking about how I was about to die! I would never die!

    *Boom!*

    Some sort of tremendous force crashed into my head and sent me deep into the ground. So deep that I saw a few snakes coiled up and eating rabbits. So animals down here had found happiness! Regardless, a hand delightfully pulled me back up to the surface, and me and some strange being made contact.

    ¡°Hello! You seem friendly!¡± The best way of stopping aggression is by making friends!

    ¡°I¡¯m here to kill you! Any last words!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not easy to kill! You should ask Apple!¡± Kind words for a big opponent.

    ¡°I¡¯m one thousand times bigger than you!¡±

    ¡°At least!¡±

    ¡°You cut down my mother!¡±

    ¡°Cut her in half!¡± I figured he came from a tree!

    ¡°Burn in hell!¡±

    ¡°You first!¡± Such a sweet talker, this tree. Right then, I knew we¡¯d become destined for a long friendship. Taking my one-thousand-pound saber out of the sheath I stole from a dead body, I lashed out as it¡¯s fist burst through the air and started burning!

    I had no choice but to activate the first layer of the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body and use Master of the Stars to make my friendship with this fiend! The two blows connected, then another ten, then twenty and forty blows were swiftly dealt!

    I felt like I was playing Pattie Cake! It was not a sport I wanted to lose!

    Unfortunately, as I glanced backward at Apple, she smiled at me causing me to get hit in the head. On our 104<sup>th</sup> strike, I¡¯d been cheap shot, remembering it in my skull, before I burst out of the ground and attempted to reconcile our differences!

    ¡°You¡¯re my friend! Get it in your head!¡±

    ¡°You killed my mother! Stop fighting back and die!¡±

    ¡°Do you want me to help you Tree?¡± Apple joined in. ¡°I don¡¯t want his death to hurt.¡±

    ¡°Never! You¡¯re the reason he¡¯s here Apple!¡±

    ¡°How do you know my name?¡± Apple looked confused. ¡°Did someone tell you!¡±

    ¡°Gregory just shouted it! His name is on the poster!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a smart cookie.¡± I said, interrupting their chatter. ¡°Too bad cookies need to be cooked to taste good!¡± Boo yah! Hole in one!

    Boom!

    I comprenhended something big and bad, something allowing my power to soar, and hit Tree on the hand. His wood knees buckled, and he fell towards the floor. I didn¡¯t hit to kill because it was hard to find such durable, tall friends.

    However, I did put my sword on his neck to make it official. The entire time of the battle, I¡¯d been hopping off the ground, and developed a technique called the grasshopper. If you put your energy into your legs, you could rapidly jump up and down.

    Some people called it jumping, but I called it being one with nature!

    Tree, unfortunately, began crying and smashed the ground. ¡°You killed my mother! She¡¯s level 8, and almost level 9! If I had a little more strength, you¡¯d be dead!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d need a lot more strength Tree! He¡¯d been playing Pattie Cake with you.¡± Apple patted him on the shoulder. ¡°We can try again another time.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ you two are weird. I have to go burry my mother. She¡¯s been uprooted, and is on her last breath.¡±

    ¡°You know I left one tree remaining right! I¡¯m sure it¡¯s your mother!¡± I had a feeling, trusting my instincts, but Tree didn¡¯t seem to care.

    ¡°Nonsense! The odds are 1 in 10001! What are the chances? Curse you for making me weak Lord Mountain!¡±

    ¡°Wait, is that mountain alive?!¡± I know understood the root of my problem. ¡°Is it the reason I¡¯m cursed?! It¡¯s definitely the mountain, right?¡±

    ¡°No, you idiot! You aren¡¯t cursed. Just facing tribulations.¡± Tee tee acted smart, but I believed my own lies.

    Jay, on the other hand, stopped patting the tree as Mountain approached. He bent over, feeling the tree, before a smile appeared on his face.

    Of course, I was certain that wasn¡¯t his mother, but how could he possibly differentiate them.

 Bounty Hunter

    Tree spent every day guarding the tree, and didn¡¯t visit the Snow Bloom Sect. At this point, Gora had seemed to get into fits of crying. Every hour, I¡¯d give him some water, so he¡¯d not get dehydrated.

    He¡¯d told me that I cut down the wrong forest, and we¡¯d soon be killed by the Overlord Emissaries soldier. However, Cultivation Wood netted much money for our sect, and countless architects visited refurbishing the red breaking gates, and the small sect house I didn¡¯t sleep in.

    No, there wasn¡¯t enough room to sleep in that confined space! Instead, he built me a house with bars, and regularly closed the doors at night to protect me! I felt truly in heaven, being protected by such nice people, and even got to talk to Tree.

    Apparently, he had 50 percent certainty his mother would reach the ninth stage either today or tomorrow. He even promised me his mother would give me a preternatural beating unlike any witnessed in history, using the phrase butting heads with me in order to teach me a lesson!

    Well, I knew butting heads meant the act of pleasure making, and Apple and I agreed that it¡¯s worth remaining for a few more days. Gora, however, insisted we both not accept any new missions until we¡¯re both in the 5<sup>th</sup> Heavenly Stage!

    Unfortunately, that meant I had to get used to closing my eyes. Did they call it meditation? You had to focus on the Qi in the environment, and pull it into your meridian channels before circulating it, and filling up the little inside valve called your hearts dantian.

    In total, I spent a whopping one hour meditating before I got bored! However, for that one hour Tee Tee did nothing but compliment me, and offered me guidance. Did he seriously think he was special?

    Afterwards, it became time to go visit Tree, and his Cultivation Wood mother as she slowly began to transform. This, this! This had been worth waiting for. Both me and Apple stood next to Tree as he kept telling us to run for our lives.

    Why would I be scared of a tree?

    I knew I didn¡¯t cut down the trees with malicious intent, and had a heart of gold! No, perhaps the only person better than me were Apple and Totem, but I¡¯d never tell them such information, avoiding them developing excessive pride beget the greater good!

    However, I never expected the tree, as she began to shrink, to be naked when she¡¯d been created. I gave her the shirt off my back before Tree blushed and attempted to cover her. Unfortunately, one finger on Tree¡¯s giant arm dwarfed her body by two to one!

    Waiting for the precious butting of heads, I put on the shirt myself, and covered up her rather big chest as Apple squinted devilishly towards me. It was windy, but the way she looked at me seemed like an angry matriarchically progressive hyena about to kill her lover.

    However, me and Apple had definitely never butted heads, so I denied this vehemently before standing next to her little evil fairy mouth. Suddenly, she also transformed into a dashing human. Black hair dropping down her shoulders, emerald green eyes, gorgeous leaves draped across her chest! She seemed like the perfect little sister, and I smiled at her as she started squeezing me tightly.

    ¡°Is it okay if I hug you?¡± Apple clearly had a plan.

    ¡°You¡¯re not hugging me. Isn¡¯t this attacking?¡±

    ¡°Oh, what counts as hugging you?¡±

    ¡°It has to be more gentle! The more gentle the better, right tree?¡±

    ¡°You guys are ruining the moment!¡± Tree said, waiting for his mother to feed him, ¡°She¡¯s going to be extremely angry. She¡¯s at least four times stronger than me!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not worried,¡± I told him. I hugged Apple as lightly as a feather and waited and waited for the Tree to finally reveal itself. Of course, I made sure to chop off some nearby Cultivation Wood from the fallen trees in order to make a fire.

    Cultivation Wood burned for countless hours, and had a myriad of uses in the Sect. One log set on fire could last two years! I took a measly ten pounds of branches and lit them up using my Heavenly Body to act as a lighter! With the eleventh page of the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body learned, My body and flint together made sparks!

    Lightning up a fire as Trees mother awoke, I smiled at her and welcomed her to the fire. After all, what better place to get warm then by your kindred?

    She looked at me with a petrified expression, not what I imagined with someone I¡¯d but heads, before rage started festering in her eyes. I knew the place had become messy from my accidental spree of destruction and madness, however, what else could I do but offer her a nearby set of shrubs that tasted better than fried hog!

    Unfortunately, she seemed extremely enraged as I ate the food, so I gave her a branch before she burst out crying again. Such a drama Queen! I asked Apple what¡¯d happened to her, and she insisted it was because my handsomeness had dwarfed her beauty.

    Ridiculous!

    Most Crazy thing I ever heard.

    ¡°You¡­ you killed my daughter!¡±

    ¡°You ate her in front of me! Killed all 9000 of my cousins! Only when you are fertilizer will this world be safe!¡±

    ¡°Hi, nice to meet you! Sorry about your daughter!¡± What else could I say really? She got dehydrated from the fire, so of course I had to eat her! She tasted better than the spice oregano, and I had bravely had some leaves of her in my pocket.

    ¡°You¡­ you¡¯re also too stupid to remain alive!¡± She didn¡¯t have a name yet, so I definitely should grant her such a privilege.

    ¡°Nonsense! I¡¯ve just been raised badly, Boot!¡± What a great name, Boot!

    ¡°You¡¯re a curse of the heavens.¡±

    ¡°Blessing! The goddess told me so.¡±

    ¡°She lied to you.¡± Boot said, pointing at me with happy eyes.

    ¡°No, she didn¡¯t! She even promised to be my lover!¡±Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Oh really!¡± Apple erupted, burning flames shot out of her eyes. ¡°What does she look like Gregory?¡±

    ¡°More pretty than anything in the universe.¡± I didn¡¯t underestimate her beauty.

    ¡°I¡­ I love competition!¡± Apple said out loud! ¡°The fairy of Green Death will never lose!¡±

    ¡°Wait, we¡¯re getting off topic.¡± I corrected the situation, and patted Boots on the shoulder. ¡°We¡¯re supposed to make love! Let us butt heads.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you an hour to run!¡± Boots said, what did that mean? ¡°I don¡¯t need an hour. I¡¯m ready now! Give me everything you have goddess!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ you¡¯re going to die if you remain. Are you sure you want to make love?¡± She seemed to understand what I wanted. Having just read the eleventh path of the Seven Paths of Heavenly Body, with Tee Tee¡¯s guidance, I knew my strength had increased enough to make love!

    Butting heads! How romantic!

    I lowered my head and activated my Copper Body and began charging towards her as Apple and Tree stood back and watched. Jay even showed up dropping the wood as she fell down and proclaimed ¡°A goddess has risen!¡±

    A goddess may have risen but only to butt heads with me, and as such the love making began! My body sprang to action as I crashed into her olive head with my full force.

    However, I heard that love making required your full strength, so I didn¡¯t hold back and pounded against her body! It was these very motions that made for suitable love making! The harder you hit your opponent, the more they¡¯d enjoy the pain!

    When my Scholar had taught me the secret of love making, back when Star Dojo hadn¡¯t been destroyed by my fury, I practiced on a dummy for three hours a day hitting it with my head. He told me it¡¯d make me smart, but I didn¡¯t believe him!

    He just wanted me to be a lady killer, and boy did Boots recognize my might!

    When my head first bumped into her skulls, as we charged like two eloping bulls, she fell back two steps, and I fell back ten! Of course, such a ritual could only be complete with Apple telling Boots to kill me!

    She looked at me with chagrin as she rubbed her head. I knew I¡¯d gotten her good when she dizzily shook and fell back on her pretty butt. Bending over to give her a hand shake, however, the love making continued with a gigantic branch growing out of the ground and surrounding me with love!

    Boom!

    I got sent flying before more and more branches grabbed my arms and legs. My head was perfectly wrapped up in a bun of branches, making it extremely easy to ram my head.

    Apple looked at her with an ominous glare, I could tell, and caused a gigantic fireball to appear in her hand before muttering.

    ¡°Put him down or I¡¯ll set you on fire!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t believe it? Are you a fairy?¡± Boots laughed, seeming vindictive, but actually being happy. ¡°You realize my power far out matches yours, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but I have to kill him! If you kill him, I can¡¯t like him anymore, and I¡¯d have no friends.¡±

    ¡°I also like him mother.¡± Tree had been so tall we fought underneath his legs. ¡°Please let him live, and repent for his sins.¡±

    ¡°Wait, we aren¡¯t making love?¡± I got upset and broke out of the branches. ¡°You mean I waited for nothing?¡±

    ¡°You need to stop being such a lovable goof.¡± Apple ran up to me, and gave me that death grip again. ¡°Now, come on. Gora finally has a mission for us!¡±

    ¡°Lady Boots. Tree.¡± Their names were genius. ¡°I leave you to your beautiful forest.

    I swore something fell when I said that, making the situation awkwardly terrible. Luckily, Lady Boots merely broke down crying out of happiness, and I had enough time to meet Gora as some overly geared men appeared in our pristine little sect.

    All the statues had been covered with gold, including the once rotting skeletons, and it seemed like the perfect little fantasy garden for people to visit us and give demonstrations.

    Today, we were visited by bounty hunters! They also were worth Golden Heads, but not as many as me and Apple! No, to lower their bounty they said they¡¯d been killing criminals. I didn¡¯t believe how their inglorious behavior could continue on my watch! People should increase their head count and not decrease it!

    Hence, when I saw that one of them was a beautiful girl who reminded me of Uncle Benny, mind you he liked to be called uncle not aunt, I drew out my sword in order to teach her the lessons from my past!

    The main lesson I learned from Uncle Benny was to never put all your coins in one pocket! I made sure to keep one set of coins on the left, and one set of coins on the right, causing me to jingle as the brunette bounty hunter glided towards me.

    It turned out, according to Gora, these people were in the Ascended Heavenly Stage, and the first one at that! When you entered into the Ascended Heavenly Stage you could float a few inches off the floor! I¡¯d never been more determined in my short life to commandeer such a valuable skill with hard work and dedication! I even promised Gora an hour and a half of meditation in my cell! Such a lovely place to sleep, I had to show it to the brunette vigilante!

    She used a skill called Harpies Arrow, yes, the perfect word for her a Harpy! Even though she didn¡¯t have wings like the creatures in our Lore, she had feathers on her jacket!

    As a lover of animals, I made sure that during the fight I¡¯d take her feather jacket off, and I even butted heads with her to show my appreciation and love! The scholar had really taught me well, and Harpy girl burst into a rock a few meters away.

    I didn¡¯t hit her, only showed her love, promise!

    As for the two other bounty guards, code name Evil and Good, they slowly held up their hands and started shaking by the rose gilded gate. However, they¡¯d daringly given me a girl to love, so I had to punish them with all my might!

    As my first burst towards them, however, Apple merely appeared in front of them before round house kicking one of them to the shadow of the moon. The other one, Evil, began begging on the ground as I walked up and grabbed his hair, to help him see me of course!

    ¡°You¡¯re a bounty hunter, right? How much does such a job pay.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t mean to insult you great one! However, isn¡¯t that a dumb question?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not dumb!¡± Apple agreed, holding a fire ball in front of his face. ¡°I¡¯m curious too!¡±

    ¡°It¡­ it pays you per the number on the Wanted listing¡­ See? This is your picture Mountain of Death? Please don¡¯t HURT me?!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have to die though.¡± Apple patted him on the head. ¡°Maybe in 200 years it will happen, but you¡¯re going to fall.¡±

    ¡°Wait, are you going to spare me?¡± He had hope, and I looked at the Wanted poster. However, thinking for my sect, I called Gora over as he watched nervously in the background. He seemed guilty, and gulped as he came over. What exactly had he done? I had to find out the truth!

    ¡°Gora, do you know these gentlemen?¡± I had a hunch, a big hunch.

    ¡°Never, never seen them in my life!¡± He sounded nervous, like I¡¯d kill him nervous.

    ¡°Really? I thought a bald man gave us this location?¡±

    ¡°You mean jay, or me, or Mark? I cut Marks hair just a few minutes ago!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re clearly him,¡± The bounty hunter laughed. ¡°He¡¯s the reason we¡¯re here. He wanted to give you guys a proper burial.¡±

    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that sweet. He wanted to train us!¡± I patted him on his head. I forgot he was balding, and had a receeding hair line!

    Jay, on the other hand, walked up and slapped him in the face. Some sort of drama seemed to be brewing, so I put down Evil, the bounty hunter, and daringly asked for his real name.

    ¡°My name is Heather. Don¡¯t laugh, alright! It¡¯s a guys name where I¡¯m from.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a cool name,¡± Apple smiled. ¡°Now, do you want to die, or help us catch criminals?¡±

    Heather gulped and laughed, of course he wanted to die, right? Nope! He actually started teaching us the ropes as old Gora took a vacation and had his sister watch the place!

    His sister happened to be from the 15<sup>th</sup> ranked Sect on the Heavenly Ranking Board, and she literally flew in from the sky! Only people after the Ascended Heavenly Ream could fly, and they were called Two Heaven Cultivators! I had no idea why the naming conventions were so complex, but I merrily welcomed her as Gora took the Sects money and ran off.

    When I saw him in the future, I¡¯d definitely thank him in a profound number of ways! Regardless, me and Apple had already finished our daily lessons with Heather, and Tree even came to visit with his mother.

    It seemed like my life had finally taken a turn for the better. His mother wanted me to teach me the true pinnacles of morality! When I heard that some people were evil, and some people were good, my mind was beyond blown! However, Apple, on the other hand, seemed particularly focused on staring at me today. I knew I was handsome, but it was hard to handle her beauty tempting me to fight her at every turn!

    Anyways, Boots, she accepted my nickname for her with a frown, really went to town on us before some strange people showed up in our sect. Couldn¡¯t I have a day of peace and quiet!

 Volcanic Tribe

    The Imperial Government of this world had become known as the Chain of Solidarity to the humans, and the Bane of the Universe to the Demons. I learned this lesson in class as Boots and Heather took turns teaching me lessons on morality.

    Boots, unlike my three uncles, really cherished nature like I did, and taught me the thousands of types of plants and roots in the ground. Of course, I¡¯d never mistakenly chop down Cultivation Wood again, and would only use a piece of it for fire if I got cold.

    I had to keep this a secret, though, or Apple would tell on me and Boots would beat me red and blue. Regardless, I¡¯d made good progress on the Seven Arts of the Heavenly Body technique, and had gotten up to the twelve page! When I reached the fifteenth page, I¡¯d already have access to the second stage of the Heavenly Body!

    Unlike Copper Body, it would be called Steel Body! I always thought Copper stronger than steal, but Boots taught me about minerals too! She really knew her stuff, and I had profound insights in her every class.

    We even took tests, and I always got everything right! Apple got competitive with me, and scored nearly as well as me, but I always made up for it in the bonus round! Unfortunately, I think the bandits and scholars had really distorted my opinions of Human Relations because everything Tree taught me objected to their morals.

    Apparently, to tree, humans were the most evil and vile creatures on the planet. Only the few monks on Lord Mountain were good, but they¡¯d died by a horrific volcanic accident. I didn¡¯t dare tell her I most likely caused it due to my luck at the time, but hey, things seemed to be looking up.

    Days turned to weeks as we kept learning, and Heather finally got us certified as bounty hunters. We even got to finally talk to the new Sect Head who barely left her cave. She said she¡¯d meditate for 1000 hours trying to figure out how to save this hole in the depths of hell, and I believed she¡¯d actually do it!

    Unfortunately, when she appeared with her white gown blowing in the wind, she didn¡¯t seem interested in opening her eyes, and just stared at me with them closed. According to Bandit Aunty, this meant war, but I held back my blade because Apple seemed generally shaky in her presence.

    I had Apple¡¯s peaching skin, and gave her a massage on her shoulders. I knew she really liked massages, so I slowly started kneeding her neck, before that lady began talking.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t worth looking at yet. Here, choose a slip out of my hand.¡±

    ¡®Don¡¯t kill her! Don¡¯t kill her!¡¯ I held back my bandit rage, and picked a jade slip.

    ¡°Oh, it says we get to go to Hell¡¯s Basement! That sounds like fun!¡± Apple said as she read the slip. I agreed with her. They definitely had good food at that restaurant.

    ¡°Now, stop joking around you two! I know you¡¯re smarter than geniuses when it comes to learning material!¡±

    ¡°If that¡¯s true, why does he always get 110 on his tests, and I get 109? Am I doomed to be second best?¡± Apple said, rubbing my hand with hers and squeezing it.

    ¡°No, dear. He¡¯s just been around for longer.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m an ageless spirit. How is that possible?!¡±

    ¡°You just didn¡¯t focus.¡± The Sect Leader, Gorgeous, said. ¡°If you focus, all your dreams can come true.¡±

    ¡°You mean I¡¯ll kill him one day, or marry him?¡± Apple patted me on the shoulders. What was marriage? I didn¡¯t understand.

    ¡°Yes, you¡¯ll get what you want. Now, you two, Hell¡¯s basement houses 5 great treasures.¡±

    The five great treasures being five universal spirits! Ten Golden Heavenly Weapons, and three rare weapons manuals that were hundreds of times better than Master the Stars! I¡¯d never been so excited for a journey after this information, but Heather didn¡¯t seem impressed.

    In fact, he seemed absolutely terrified of Hell¡¯s Basement, but we tied him up and took him along on our buggy bound adventure! We¡¯d tied up to large dragon bulls to pull our chasse to the location hundreds of miles away.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    During that time, me and Apple slept in the same bed while Heather cried every night thinking we¡¯d kill him. Of course, all I did with Apple was put my head against hers softly. It wasn¡¯t bashing heads, but she blushed and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

    We¡¯re clearly working towards bashing heads, but I had a feeling we wouldn¡¯t truly bash heads for a long time. At the same time, a pair of gigantic wolves appeared in our way, and howled.

    These wolves were called King Wolves, and were Demon Beasts. The type that ate humans and only believed in power! There were many ranks to Demon Beasts. The highest I knew off were 5<sup>th</sup> core beasts, but there were definitely 6<sup>th</sup> and 7<sup>th</sup> core beasts too!

    However, these King Wolves were merely 2<sup>nd</sup> core beasts, and only had the power of 10,000 men! I¡¯m sure I could easily defeat them, but why defeat what you could turn into a house pet?

    Me and Apple agreed we¡¯d eat one and keep the other one at our house. The Dragon Bulls ran away from us taking the poor tied up Heather towards the lake in the distance. We just had to catch it in time before something god awful happened, and we lost Heather to the Demon Beasts hunting in that lake.

    Yes, Demon Beasts were everywhere in the wild, but more than a few were traumatized by Apple! It seemed from East to West she¡¯d eaten countless mothers and fathers of these beasts, and boy did I feel proud of her!

    *Roar*

    The beasts seemed to scream at Apple.

    ¡°We remember you, little sprite. We¡¯re here to murder you on behalf of our pups!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a sprite! How dare you!¡± Sprites and fairies were very different, so I understood.

    ¡°Oh, then what are you?¡± It laughed. ¡°A nymph?¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°A unicorn!¡±

    ¡°Not even close!¡±

    ¡°A tree walker!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what that is!¡± Apple huffed and puffed. She began using a technique she¡¯d been developing called Heavy Fire Ball, and it got bigger and bigger as I watched with pride.

    ¡°She¡¯s cute isn¡¯t she?¡± I talked to totem.

    ¡°Yup, however, isn¡¯t it time you get on with your destiny?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I have a destiny?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re supposed to find a system, and conquer this planet! You already found me, but is that enough for you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m only eighteen still, right? Am I really meant for something greater?¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know! However, I think in Hell¡¯s basement you¡¯ll find out.¡±

    ¡°Do you know about it?¡± I asked as Apple one shot a wolf. Heaving just watching her fight, Tee Tee¡¯s voice got louder.

    ¡°Hey, stop and focus! Hell¡¯s basement is an extremely dangerous place! It¡¯s where the Volcanic Tribe lives, and they worship Lord Mountain!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure they recognize you from your stint with me! They¡¯ll definitely try and kill you kid!¡±

    ¡°Sounds like a fun vacation!¡± I gloated along, smiling as the other wolf began to submit. Now! How about we get going, shall we?¡± I said to Apple, and she smiled.

    ¡°Sure! However, what should we name him?¡±

    ¡°¡±Please, just kill me! I¡¯ll never serve you!¡±

    ¡°Wait, aren¡¯t we forgetting about Heather?¡± Our bandit had nearly bitten the dust, and the carriage had stopped right in the water, slowly dropping down underneath the sea.

    ¡°Oh right! You begin taming him while I go get him!¡± I responded before using my grasshopper technique. Hopping over to Heather, I saw a bunch of parasite hanging out on his body, and shacked them off before reprimanding the dragon bulls with some gentle rubs.

    ¡°You fools! You almost got Heather killed!¡±

    ¡°Help me! Someone help me!¡± Heather didn¡¯t always like being our teacher, but we made ends meat for him, and fed him the best food we could find.

    Afterwards, me and Apple got tired and slept together in the bed. Mind you, she had gotten used to using her human form now, and began wearing human underwear.

    She had on a little pink striped piece that I¡¯d gotten from a lady I passed by on the street! She seemed genuinely surprised I¡¯d buy it off of her for one head, a rather small coin, but she immediately gave me the ones in her hands and granted them to Apple!

    Of course, Heather had already gotten quiet, and we spent most of the night just holding each other, and lightly tapping heads. Today, she even kissed a little closer to my lips as we were sleeping, and I accepted it with a strong hug.

    At this point, Boots had already taught me the intricacies of kissing and hugging, so I was fairly well trained. No, she didn¡¯t actually kiss me personally, but made me kiss the trees, and hug them! She certified me a tree hugger, and even gave me a badge of a tree on it!

    Everywhere I went people would immediately gasp when they saw this badge. Some would run, and some would hide. However, with Apple in my arms, and Heather all tied up snuggly, I slept like a safe lemon as our wolf cried on the periphery.

    The next morning, our self driving Dragon Bulls arrived us into the domain of Hell¡¯s Kitchen! I¡¯d never been so happy to arrive somewhere in my life, and escorted Apple on my back as she snored soundly.

    She told me she only snores when she¡¯s happy, and she seemed to snore extremely loud last night after we kissed cheeks! Wow, I really had turned the fairy of carnage into a true noble soul!

    She finally woke up as I started noticing the fire raining down all around us. We finally set Heather free since he¡¯d been such a good guide, and found a few fallen branches to shield our heads after roping them together.

    As a tree protector, I only took fallen trees, and not the growing ones! If boots saw me, she¡¯d be proud, and would perhaps even give me a kiss! Hence, we walked towards a dug out mound of dirt, with a huge roof covering a town underneath it.

    This, from what I heard, was where the first treasure was located, and thus we immediately went to go discover the secrets of this region!

 Steel Body of the Seven Paths of Heaven

    I¡¯d never been so impressed by a city in my life. Half of the people either tried to rob you or sell you something. The bandit uncles I¡¯d long lost would be proud that I didn¡¯t fall for their schemes!

    If there was one thing I did smartly it happened to be avoiding bad deals. In fact, Apple got so impressed by my persuasive abilities, that she began copying my tactics.

    At this time, a small boy walked up to us, broken leg and all, and asked us for some coins.

    ¡°Not a bad scheme, but you¡¯re missing the final touch.¡± I grabbed his wooden leg and wrote the words ¡®bastard¡¯ on it. ¡°There, now everyone will have to give you coins from their purse.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, but I really don¡¯t have a leg. My mother died in a fire.¡±

    ¡°Not bad. You¡¯re never going to fool me though.¡±

    ¡°I have proof. It¡¯s in the newspaper.¡±

    ¡°Still not buying it.¡± Stop making it so hard to impress Apple!

    ¡°I can show you my stump!¡± I immediately refused, and patted him on the shoulder.

    Of course, because of his diligent efforts to impress us, I left a small bag on his satchel when he wasn¡¯t looking. I still had hands faster than lighting, and merely took his purse in exchange for my own.

    ¡°Hey, what did you take from him?¡± Apple asked, leaning on my shoulder. She could fly in her human form, so she easily navigated the town with me.

    ¡°Let me open it up and find out.¡± I found nothing of importance. ¡°Just a few seeds for a farm, and a few pictures of us.¡±

    ¡°Oh, why would he have pictures of us?¡± Apple said curiously, looking at the photos. ¡°Look! Your heads worth 25,000 golden pounds and mine is worth 26,000! Curse you for catching up!¡±

    ¡°Shoot, this is horrible! Someone must be blackmailing the boy!¡± I¡¯d definitely gotten smarter recently, and went back to find him. Unfortunately, he¡¯d gone to a bar where only people older than twenty one could get in. Me and Apple were stuck on the outside waiting for him.

    When he finally walked out, he laughed with a beer in his hand. It turned out I hadn¡¯t glanced at his mannish face. He¡¯d really just been a small man the entire time! How could I¡¯ve missed such an important detail!

    ¡°You¡¯re the best! You gave me so much gold just to let you live!¡±

    ¡°Who wants us dead? Why are we worth so much here?!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the Volcanic Tribe,¡± the cute little man burped, and accidentally smashed a bottle of Vine Fruit Wine on the salty ground. ¡°They had this bounty out for the last six months.¡±

    ¡°So, since I started my journey, they¡¯ve been wishing me to die?¡± I¡¯d never felt so mad at anyone, and this Volcanic Tribe would have to suffer!

    ¡°Yeah, but you gave me like 100,000 golden pounds! If you wanted to, I¡¯m sure you could bribe the keeper of heads to remove your bounty.¡±

    ¡°No, I want to be worth more heads!¡± Me and Apple agreed on this point thoroughly. ¡°The more heads we¡¯re worth, the better!¡±

    ¡°Right, no wonder you¡¯re so generous! You¡¯re like crazy Pete over there!¡± I didn¡¯t like this little man anymore. Crazy Pete had a pirate patch on his eye, and I didn¡¯t take well to being compared to pirates!

    I happened to be a bandit!

    Stealing hearts, and wallets since the day the bandits of the west took me!

    However, I merely smiled in little man, Bloodthirst¡¯s presence. He told me he had gotten the name from the Red Cable Underground. Indeed, it had one of the worst named I¡¯d ever heard until I learned that Red Cables were placed underneath the city for communication!

    When I included that, it was definitely the worst name for any organization I¡¯d ever reckoned. However, Bloodthirst told us to be careful, so me and Apple went to go stay at an Inn for the night.

    ¡°Tee Tee. Do you know where the treasure is?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s supposedly underneath this city. You¡¯re looking for the Melting Whip, right?¡±

    ¡°Yup, however, it has a single star next to it. What does that mean?¡±

    ¡°It means it¡¯s a one star treasure. Only usable by 8<sup>th</sup> Heavenly Stage Cultivators.¡±

    ¡°Still, you aren¡¯t explaining what I want? Why did they put the star there! It makes the item look so unappealing!¡±

    ¡°Everything else is two stars! Apple, are you going to come look!¡±The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Coming!¡± Apple had gone to change in the bathroom. ¡°I¡¯ll be out in a minute.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s getting ready for you, kid. You ready?¡±

    ¡°Of course I¡¯m ready. I can¡¯t wait to get the Melting Whip.¡±

    ¡°No, silly! I may be a totem, but I know women! I used to be a man in my day.¡±

    ¡°Right! A totem became a man!¡± If such things existed in the universe, then I¡¯d truly be shocked beyond measure. ¡°What name did you used to have?!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t remember! It¡¯s been 10,000 years, and the lady who put me in here wanted me to forget! If you ever see her, kill her for me okay?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s her name?¡± I heard Apple opening the doorway from the bathroom.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s something. I¡¯ll know when you see her!¡± Tee Tee sounded unassured, but I put him away because Apple looked so pretty.

    ¡°Do you like it? I made it myself!¡± She had on a green dress made out of leaves, and that underwear I¡¯d gotten her exposed to the world. She really liked that underwear, so I regularly washed them for her.

    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s beautiful! Almost as handsome as I am.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right, it¡¯s stupid!¡± When did I say that, women!

    ¡°No, it¡¯s perfect. Come here so we can snuggle, and prepare for our hunt.¡±

    ¡°About that.¡± Apple said, blushing. ¡°Who is the goddess and does she really love you? I know I can¡¯t beat her in a battle, but can you promise me something?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡±

    ¡°Can you promise me to give me your first kiss?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like it¡¯s reserved. You may take it as you wish.¡±

    ¡°Close your eyes.¡± She rubbed my chest, and I got excited! Finally, I could bash her head!

    The next moment, her lips touched mine and we fell onto the bed. When we woke up, I swore we¡¯d become closer, and she even pet my chest in the morning as we stared up at the stars.

    We kissed for maybe ten minutes that morning, then got bored. Of course, I heard a strange story and I had to tell it to her. She glistened as I told her my story, and then slowly drifted to sleep because she spent a lot of energy creating her dress.

    Apparently, the clothes she strung together had been hemmed from soul fibers, an extremely durable fairy cloth, because she wanted protection just incase I decided to attack her. Of course, we kept it on the entire night to ensure her safety, and then walked into the sun light as countless people surrounded us and thanked us for our generosity!

    ¡°We¡¯re going to murder you in your sleep!¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t stay here! You aren¡¯t welcome here!¡±

    ¡°Your causing the Volcanic Tribe to head towards our little City! We don¡¯t have enough guards to fend them off!¡±

    ¡°I thought they were going to thank us.¡± Apple seemed upset, resting on my shoulder. I¡¯d put her there so she could sleep and move at the same time.

    ¡°I know, however, it¡¯s all a ruse. They are definitely here to hire us for a job!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, go kill the volcanic tribe and we¡¯ll practically give you the Melting Whip you¡¯re here for! Now, hurry up before we all die!¡±

    *bang*

    I slapped the man who screamed at me, sending him flying through the roof and causing little fire droplets to fall on some children¡¯s heads. I obviously protected them with my body, however, after patching up the roof, everyone else who screamed at me would be next!

    ¡°So, now that you¡¯re all calm, where are these Volcanic Men?¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t men! They are fire manifestations that sit in magma and bathe in lava!¡± A little man said, walking up to me.

    ¡°Oh, so you just need to cool them down right?¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously a man?¡± Little Grong said, that¡¯s his name according to his name tag. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you survived till eighteen.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been tough, but I¡¯m nigh indestructible!¡± Sure, modesty wasn¡¯t my strongest point, but these men were all smaller than me, so I felt like bragging.

    ¡°I¡¯m an inch shorter than you.¡±

    ¡°No, maybe two inches.¡± Apple entered the equation. ¡°However, Grong, you shouldn¡¯t be so rude to someone higher in status!¡±

    ¡°Height has nothing to do with status!¡± Grong said, clearly feeling touchy about his age, and I understood! I also had been short since I grew an inch this year!

    I now was taller than at least half the town. At near two meters tall, I felt very confident in my higher status then theirs. However, after hearing Grong say height has nothing to do with status, I agreed with him.

    He poked me in the chest a few times, causing me to stop day dreaming. However, his hand got a little too close to Apple, and I began growling internally. Since when did I care so much about Apples?

    My response came out, ¡°Listen, we¡¯ll take care of your Volcanic problem as long as you tell us how to defeat them!¡±

    ¡°Just hit them really hard!¡± Bloodthirst came out the bar, drunk as always. ¡°They are still physical beings. If you destroy them, they won¡¯t be able to reform for at least a thousand years.¡±

    ¡°Oh, sounds easy.¡± I psyched myself up. ¡°How many are there?¡±

    ¡°50,000 easy. However, with your strength, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Such a small number!¡± I had my work cut out for me! ¡°I think I see them now! Wait, are they hurting those beautiful trees!¡±

    Me and Apple really loved trees and darted towards the once ripening forest that began to burn up in smoke. By the time we arrived, the entire forest had nearly been decimated by the countless legions of flames and fury.

    The Volcanic Tribunal, I felt that name appropriate for them, since they considered themselves judges and executioners, were completely buffed up with strange metal rocks.

    I knew at this point my only hope was to master the second level of the Seven Paths of Paths of Heavenly Body, so I began studying as Apple started creating something next to me with her soul thread.

    Luckly, it seemed the Volcanic Tribe moved extremely slowly! They were much faster than gushing lava, but clearly not much faster than a feral turtle. After three hours of waiting, I¡¯d gotten up to fifteenth page of the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body. Of course, I still didn¡¯t turn to steel yet, but I felt assured.

    ¡°Kid, how many words did you read?¡±

    ¡°85,900!¡±

    ¡°Quick, read a few more words! You need 90,000 to understand the steel body!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m tired. My head hurts.¡± I know it seems ridiculous, but every word hurt to read! I¡¯m surprised I remained standing this entire time!¡±

    ¡°Fine, but those Volcanic men are 15,000 degrees. If they touch you or Apple without proper protection, you might even die!¡±

    ¡°My apple? Die! Not even gigantic mountains can hurt her!¡±

    ¡°Kid, trust me or not, but you need to start working harder! You can¡¯t get anything in life without effort!¡±

    ¡°I disagree! I am handsome!¡± I totally believed what I said, however, a nagging feeling in my gut made me turn open the 15<sup>th</sup> page. The last 500 words were so extremely difficult. More difficulty than planting trees, and definitely more difficult than kissing Apple!

    Once I comprehended them, I began to notice I felt slightly different. My body felt heavier, and I had definitely grown a few centimeters! This meant I¡¯d definitely mastered the Steel Body Technique of the Seven Paths of Heavenly Body! Of course, when I stood up, I didn¡¯t feel that much different, and Tee Tee kept giving me warnings as I rushed into the Volcanic Tribe¡¯s approaching assault.

 Steel Myth Spear

    The Volcanic Tribe had been around for nearly two million years, undisturbed by anyone, until the day I was reincarnated. On the day of my reincarnation, comets rained down from the sky, and hit all the famous landmarks on our planet.

    Whether it was the once ancient temples, or the lost gardens of everlasting piece, I¡¯d heard they¡¯d all gone up in flames. Countless wars started because of my birth, and large manifestations of dragons pierced through the sky. Of course, I didn¡¯t feel too bad about it, since I blamed the goddess, however, the Volcanic Tribe sensed me when I approached their mountain and unleashed hell!

    I¡¯d later found out that the Buddhist Temple I stayed at actually was sloped just high enough the lava couldn¡¯t cascade and burn me to death. Hence, the Lava Tribunal took it into their own hands and sent out their finest warriors!

    Of course, they were seriously slow, so I had time to discover their story from Heather. I¡¯d caught him again running away from some women he¡¯d been learning about in the town. Whether they hated him for thievery, or for other reasons, I¡¯m sure he happened to be glad we¡¯d teamed up again.

    Regardless, his face stayed completely stolid when it came to what he¡¯d done to those women, and even though they were beautiful, I understood there was something different about them based on their scanty clothing. Still, we had another ten minutes for the lava tribe to make it about a mile, so I learned more and more about his background.

    Heather had come from one of the Great States, a place nearly 10,000 kilometers away from our present location. I had no idea the earth was so large, but he we indeed had a globe roughly the size of one thousand Earths!

    I¡¯d remembered the other night that I¡¯d gotten killed on earth. A truck from a meat packing company had a driver that fell asleep, and before I knew it that truck hit me through a window into a motorcyclist, and we all died a horrible death!

    That was why I thought about a motorcycle when I first reincarnated! It all made sense now, however ,what really surprised me was Heather¡¯s origins! He came from a wealthy family that had been robbed off two daughters for a paltry some of 100,000 golden pounds.

    It had been something called a dowry, but Heather secretly knew his sister hated the man, and murdered him, causing him to be wanted in 100 continents of our planet. Unfortunately, until his bounty got down to zero, he couldn¡¯t return home, so he¡¯d become forced to stay with us, hoping to turn in our bodies if we ever tied.

    However, shame on you Heather, we¡¯d never die! I¡¯d never been cut before let alone lost my head! You¡¯re going to be sad forever, Heather, and there¡¯s nothing I can do about!

    At this point, though, the Volcanic Tribunal had already entered into my periphery, and I yawned before a blazing fire ball shot rapidly towards me. I immediately took out my thousand pound sound, and broke that fire ball in half!

    A tree got set on fire, and I became enraged, however, the one who seemed really mad happened to be Apple!

    I¡¯d never seen herself so mad that she actually began crying! The sparks from that fireball had fallen on her dress, and set it on fire! I couldn¡¯t stand watching her cry, so I dashed towards the 50,000 strong army with Heather on my back. He told me not to take him along, however, why would I listen to him!

    He wanted my head, so of course he had to stay close to it, or else I wouldn¡¯t feel satisfied. True, I actually did this for nefarious reasons, because he so blatantly spoke about using my head as a reward.

    If I didn¡¯t make him work for it, how would he get strong enough to reclaim his sister from her evil suitors! Believe me, after having my own sister experience Stockholm Syndrome, I didn¡¯t want this dowry granting wife to share in her horrible tale.

    Hence, when I finally approached the overflowing, insurmountable wave of flaming soldiers approaching me, I finally activated my Steel Body as Heather screamed at the top of his lungs.

    ¡°Put me down! Oh god! I didn¡¯t mean it! I¡¯d never remove your head!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re lucky, Heather! Its warm up there, right?!!¡±

    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s very nice! Best seat in the universe!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s true!¡± Why would I disagree with him over such a fact?

    ¡°I¡¯m a long range fighter,¡± Heather lied to me, activating my line detector. ¡°You can throw me if you want, but please don¡¯t let me die!¡±

    I thought about it, and placed him down. Then my foot kicked him in the ass hard enough to teach him a lesson. Landing right next to Apple, I became sure he survived one his ass wiggled. Could it have been a kind hearted twitch of death? I didn¡¯t know, but these fine men had to pay for burning the trees!

    ¡°Curse you! Curse you!¡±

    ¡°You ruined our planet! You destroyed our world!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve done no such thing!¡± I again put all the blame on the goddess. ¡°It¡¯s actually your fault! You¡¯re destroying trees!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re providing nourishment for the future!¡± The volcanic tribunal said, pretending that the future mattered when trees died!

    ¡°I see, well, now suffer my wrath!¡± So, at this point the fighting began, and I used my steel body to run into the lava. Using my hand as a weapon of mass destruction, I sent an entire row of lava men flying with a single swipe of my hand.

    They each weighted about 1000 pounds of rock, so I assumed I¡¯d reached 100,000 kgs of force when I swung my fist. Considering that even humans could reach 1000 kgs of force, without any cultivation, I didn¡¯t find the thousand pound sword as exaggerated now, even though it weighted ten ounces.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Heaven¡¯s, he¡¯s much stronger than the prophecy spoke of!¡±

    ¡°Wrong man! Run! Run!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going the wrong way. The fight just started!¡± I began laughing at their slug like retreat. ¡°Isn¡¯t this a bit anticlimactic?¡±

    ¡°it¡¯s your steel body kid! They didn¡¯t think you had it in you!¡±

    ¡°if you didn¡¯t have your steel body, you¡¯d be melting.¡± Tee Tee made it seem like Copper body didn¡¯t work in lava, and sure enough, when I switched from Iron to Copper my boots started melting. I¡¯d been wearing really expensive fake skin boots, always thinking about the environment, and the soles melted quickly. Turning back to steel, I cursed at my awkard gate as I began mercilessly slaughtering the Volcanic Tribe

    ¡°Please! Please Stop!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re only here to protect the planet!¡±

    ¡°Yes, we just got a bad wrap! Us Volcanos are the reason life exists!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t study Science!¡± I replied, using a Master of the Stars Fist to adamantly deny their claims. ¡°If that was true, then why are you running away?¡±

    ¡°it¡¯s because you¡¯re trying to kill us!¡±

    ¡°You tried to kill me first!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re sorry!¡±

    ¡°Sorry? Did you really apologize?¡± I¡¯d never been apologized to before on a battle, and stopped to think about excepting their apology. However, my bandit Uncles had the mantra of no mercy, never surrender!

    Unfortunately, I had to take the least common path, and ask them for something in return.

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll let you live, but give me some sort of trophy, weapon, or something I can use to increase my strength!¡±

    ¡°Give him something! Make him a sword, Black!¡±

    Black, the blacksmith Volcanic Tribunal Member. Couldn¡¯t think of a better name! I¡¯d have named him Rocky or something with more zest behind it. Of course, you couldn¡¯t be both judge and executioner, so I merely tapped my foot as they kept trying to run away.

    ¡°I have something for you! Your majesty!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s better.¡± I nodded my head, walking up to Black.¡± He had rock arms and legs that wielded two hammers of molten stone! I had to say he seemed like a better blacksmith than many I¡¯d seen selling Heavenly Treasures in the market.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to make you a spear, okay? Do you mind getting me a branch from a tree?¡±

    ¡°No, no trees shall be harmed!¡± I stomped down my foot! Since Boots had taught me about hugging trees, I¡¯d never relent on my goal of using wood in battle!

    ¡°Not even a fallen one?!¡±

    ¡°Even if it was raining lightning, I¡¯d only use it then!¡± I did compromise when it rained fire after all.

    ¡°You¡¯re making this difficult. Fine, I¡¯ll make you an extremely heavy weapon if you let us go.¡±

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll let you go.¡±

    ¡°Can you say all of us?¡± A young volcanic rock said, crying with its craggy jaw shaking. They looked like little detestable humans that you wanted to kick in the face and kill because they were so disgusting.

    However, the red glow from their skin completely made it look cute, even as it remained exceptionally ugly. I bent down towards it, and shook my head.

    ¡°Only you and Black. Everyone else can run for it.¡±

    ¡°Run!¡± They had until the sword was created. ¡°I started to feel lazy even being in their presence. However, I began to like the Young Rock, and even gave him a name.

    ¡°Stone. You¡¯re going to be great when you grow up.¡±

    ¡°It takes 100,000 years to grow up,¡± He told me. ¡°I¡¯m sure by that time you¡¯ll be dead.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m immortal,¡± at least, the goddess told me that. ¡°I can only die if I want to die.¡±

    ¡°Really? So can we be friends then?¡± His desperation made him all the more cute, but I didn¡¯t want to burst his bubble.

    ¡°We can¡¯t. You and me run in different circles.¡±

    ¡°Okay, well, thanks for sparing them!¡± Stone tried to subvert my plans of hunting them all day for fire rocks, but I wasn¡¯t¡¯ buying it.

    ¡°Sure kid! They are going to live another hour at least.¡±

    ¡°Black takes a long time to make things. They¡¯ll be home by the time he¡¯s done!¡±

    ¡°What are you guys doing?¡± Apple came over with Heather. He had a large bump on his head, but appeared to be breathing.

    ¡°Talking about life and death.¡±

    ¡°Oh, sounds fun!¡± Apple reached out and rubbed Stone¡¯s face. I nearly jumped but her hand remained perfectly intact! Heather, on the other hand, started smoking from being too close.

    Stone started giggling and her and Apple became friends.

    At this point, I knew it was only right to introduce Stone to Tree. Even though their elements conflicted, their personalities matched perfectly! He definitely had to be our new ally on the road trip home!

    ¡°Ugh, what happened to me?¡± Heather got up, jumping down into a pool of lava.

    ¡°Ahhhh! Ahhh! I¡¯m melting.¡± He said as we laughed. Luckily, he had reached the 3<sup>rd</sup> Heavenly Stage and managed to leap away from the lava. At this point, we just let him run away and continue on his journey! We¡¯d definitely see him again soon!

    Stone, on the other hand, kept us company as Black slowly hammered on the anvil on his back. His arms bent backwards, so we couldn¡¯t actually see the spear, but we knew it¡¯d be a mighty weapon of mass destruction!

    Hence, for two days and nights we got to know Stone. At this point, only a few of the Volcanic Tribe were still heading towards the peak. I decided to spare them on Stone¡¯s behalf, and then grasped the spear from the mighty blacksmith Black¡¯s hands!

    ¡°What is it called?¡± I said to Black, ¡°It¡¯s much heavier than I imagined.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s called the Steel Myth Spear. One of my finest creations.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that bad.¡± I¡¯d see better in a pawn shop.

    ¡°Yes, it definitely looks well made. Can I have one too?¡± Apple asked, causing me to gasp! I hadn¡¯t eaten in two days, and began to hunger for the rabbits feasting on the dandelion fields around us! I would never surrender to my primal urges!

    It was different when someone else prepared meat for you, but much more horrendous when you prepared it for yourself! I could never harm a living creature, but I could eat a thousand pounds of a dead one!

    I tapped Apples shoulder and she brushed me off. I felt like an insignificant bug, but then I remembered there were birds in the sky! Yes, I could just make it really windy, and it wouldn¡¯t count as killing them!

    However, Black, on the other hand yawned and closed his eyes.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m too tired to make any other swords.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll kill you if you don¡¯t!¡± Apple had my tendencies. Such a sweet girl!

    ¡°I don¡¯t have the materials I need.¡±

    ¡°Use your arm,¡± what a great reply from Apple.

    ¡°I¡¯m not scared of you.¡± Black pretended to be tough. ¡°Him, yes! You, not yet!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m in charge of him! He¡¯ll hit you or else he won¡¯t be able to kiss me tonight!¡± Apple gave me a kiss on the cheek, trying to ring me into her dastardly plan.

    ¡°I can¡¯t create something out of thin air. Come back in ten years, and I¡¯ll-¡°

    *Boom*

    Unfortunately, Black died from Apple¡¯s anger, and we¡¯re just left with Stone as he shook beneath our feet. I consoled him by offering to come visit him some day, and he smiled before slowly running off to the top of the mountain.

    We couldn¡¯t take him along, even with we wanted to, unless we sacrificed our speed mightily. However, I¡¯d never forget the Volcanic Tribunal, because the weapon on my back was really heavy and hard to forget.

    When we returned to the town, the fire had stopped raining down on the townsfolk, and everyone smiled as we returned. I got so shocked by their egregious behavior that I slapped one of them in the face, returning them towards their usual inimical sentiments.

    The oldest person in the town, perhaps he¡¯d become twenty five this year, walked up to me and bowed as he dropped his cane. ¡°Are you ready to go to the Underground Cavern where the Melting Whip is kept?¡±

    ¡°Who said I¡¯m going? You¡¯re going not me!¡± I laughed inside, because I was joking, but they took it very seriously.

 Fire Walkers

    When they left for the Underground Cavern, I felt sure at least one of them would survive. However, I became less interested in the Melting Whip then the second item on my list.

    Apple had been craving some good meat, and had already eaten all the rabbits in town. Because it rained fire, the monsters had turned hideous close to town, so we had to go along ways to get her some good cute food.

    I admit that sometimes I even began eating the rabbits she caught, even though they reminded me of my feral parents, and in order to make it up to them I left the young to tend for themselves.

    Nothing better than growing up by yourself! I¡¯d learned this the hard way when I had been raised by the rabbits, bears, and goats that Apple had eaten on the day I met her. Luckily, we were getting evermore closer to headbutting, so I cherished these days like I cherished the suit she made for me out of her spirit thread.

    She called it invisible armor because she wore it in bed with me the other night and I didn¡¯t notice. Of course, I put it on diligently as Heather somehow arrived on a donkey from the West.

    He¡¯d come to the conclusion it better to be with us than killed by the Fire Walkers. Unlike the Volcanic Tribunal, they walked much faster and posed a worthy threat to us we began hunting for Golden Rabbits.

    Even though they were Golden Rabbits, I¡¯d convinced myself it be okay to eat them. After all, in the book given to us by Gora¡¯s sister, I forgot her name already, she listed them as an extremely rare biproduct of pollution!

    Yes, they were actually humans creation! I¡¯d never felt so excited to taste the flavors of pollution on my tongue! Apparently, one leg of a golden rabbit could increase your Stage by an entire level!

    Apple walked next to me, holding my hand, trying to protect my fingers from the cold. I¡¯d never held hands before so I took this as a competition, and protected her hand longer than she protected mine from the biting cold.

    When we finally arrived at the destination of the Golden Rabbits, some awful sound blasted in front of us, and we got out of the dragon bull carriage and peaked up to take a look. Of course, above us, there happened to be a giant fire ball approaching us.

    Heather shook, grabbing on to us, saying he¡¯s sorry, and that he stole something important!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding?¡± I slapped him on the face, my scholar had taught me well.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s true! I stole a Fire Pearl to give to you guys. Because you aren¡¯t going to kill me, right?¡±

    ¡°Heather, you decide your own life or death not us!¡± it¡¯s not like Apple ate humans right, I¡¯m pretty sure she didn¡¯t.

    ¡°You¡¯re a traitor, Heather! Lash yourself ten times or I¡¯ll eat you!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not joking!¡± I winked at her, and she looked as confused as an Apple falling to the floor. She seemed to be saying I only eat humans who are bad people, and I slapped Heather again to make sure he was a good person.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you two are being reasonable. I only did it to pay for this girl I like! She¡¯s in a town next to Snow Blossom Sect. She¡¯s worth a lot of money for a night.¡±

    ¡°Oh, well aren¡¯t you forgetting something?¡± I gave Heather the rope I used on the bulls. ¡°Lash yourself or we¡¯ll eat you!¡± I played along well with Apple¡¯s plan.

    Finally, he began whipping himself so hard that blood started to drip down his body, and we arrived at a place I imagined to be worse than hell. Everywhere I looked there were countless rabbits!

    I¡¯d grown to love their taste more than the taste of Apple¡¯s lips, but I couldn¡¯t eat them unless Apple spared me a piece. Hence, I immediately got off and began walking towards the Rose Root Trees. The Golden Rabbits were suspected to be located by the Rose Root Trees, and Apple once again defended my hand as some weird cloud flew towards us.

    Walking into the Rose Root Trees, of course there were no Golden Rabbits to eat at first, however, I started to be more worried about the storm. A few fire cyclones appeared spiraling around in a rut, so I assumed the Gold Rabbits might be hiding underneath the trees.

    Luckily, these weren¡¯t ordinary trees like Boots had instructed me not to destroy, nor were they Cultivation Woods, so I immediately punched a tree so hard it went flying into the distance. When I looked down, a little golden egg was there, and I smashed it to make sure no Golden Rabbit was underneath it¡¯s shell.

    Unfortunately, I¡¯d never been allowed to eat eggs, and as I found out Golden Rabbits laid eggs. At this point, Apple had already proceeded to shove me and wag her finger at me in an attempt to rile me up.

    ¡°You can¡¯t just crush a golden egg! You have to eat it!¡± She looked passionate about golden eggs, and I patted her head.

    ¡°We can still put it back together. Then you can eat it later, right?¡± I felt certain that the yoke at the time would understand my miss step. Unfortunately, that¡¯s when I heard the strangest sound of my life.

    A slew of Golden Rabbits were running away from the Fire Cyclones spiraling towards the forest. I knew at this time I¡¯d have to fight nature itself to make sure the Golden Rabbits wouldn¡¯t go extinct.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

    I began to hype myself up before I realized there appeared to be something inside the Fire Tornadoes. Yup, I¡¯d later find out those men were the people Heather pissed off and he¡¯d already rushed passed us screaming at the top of his lungs.

    Apple found another egg after destroying a few trees, and stood next to me chewing on the shell.

    ¡°This is probably because of the eggs right?¡± My deductions skills had improved to a high level.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s because they like Golden Rabbits! We have to eat them first!¡±

    ¡°Half of them!¡± I tried to save the population from Apple¡¯s wrath, and she seemed to respond angrily to it. However, would I truly let her stay angry for long! No! I negotiated for one fourth of their race remaining! We¡¯d eat very well tonight!

    The first little golden rabbit then ran past us hoping to survive the fire cyclones. Ultimately, that is when Apple and me reached down and grabbed a dozen. I had to find somewhere to put them so I punched a few holes in the tree while they struggled for their dear lives. Unfortunately, nothing felt better than watching their young run off while they fed my stomachs. We¡¯d definitely chosen the right ones to protect.

    At this point, since the Fire Cyclones were approaching so fast, I left Apple to begin cooking them for our meals. Of course, they couldn¡¯t see their impending deaths because I¡¯d put them in the hole backwards. I¡¯d definitely done a nicety to them in order to ensure high quality meat had been produced!

    Then, using my grasshopper jump, I activated my Steel Body from the Seven Paths of the Heavenly Body and punched one of those red men out of the spinning fire storm that had given us our food to eat! I¡¯d never been so sad to kill such useless people, but my foot accidentally fell on his head and caused blood to drip out of his eyes.

    I apologized to the Fire Walker before a gigantic blade of light shot towards me. Of course, I felt invincible with my Steel Body activated, and sure enough I had been extremely wrong.

    Never so wrong in my life!

    I went flying into the dirt and found myself deep inside a tunnel. I made sure to make a mental note of it, and looked around seeing the Melting Whip I¡¯d been promised. A strange beast looked extremely distracted as the Villagers who¡¯d gone to get it for me screamed and died in larger numbers than I could count.

    This must have been the final boss, and I caught it distracted!

    Hence, I grabbed the Melting Whip and left them to their own devices. What better way to help their town lower the population count? I swore this idea had been one of my best!

    Not that I hated overpopulation, but nay, I had to protect the golden rabbits!

    I jumped out of the hole and appeared back on the battlefield! A slew of Fire Walkers seemed to be coming towards me, and one particular cyclone started shinning with a bright light.

    Ultimately, I had the grasshopper skill to deal with it, and dodged a few spears of light before going for the weaker tornadoes. I killed more Fire Walkers than I¡¯d like to admit before finally all that remained was the tornado that could shoot light.

    It stopped spinning and a man dropped down eagerly pointing towards Apple as she started to eat the Golden Rabbits.

    ¡°Curse you! That¡¯s our flock!¡± He really did care about the Golden Rabbits.

    ¡°We mean no harm! I¡¯m only trying to help them!¡± By eating them of course!

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious! You killed me mates, and you killed me mum!¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s in a better place now!¡± Straight to the point! He sounded like the type who¡¯d get mad at anything I said, so I tried to sugar coat it.

    ¡°Oh, you think we Fire Walkers aren¡¯t going to kill ye?¡±

    ¡°Are you from a different world?¡± What did ye mean? You! How dare he use such ancient English! I couldn¡¯t study history, and the scholar would be mad to know I learned it!

    I started thinking about that scholar actually, whether he was as girl or a boy, before that Fire Walker turned into an even large tornado and started running away.

    Unfortunately, whether he was a Fire Walker, or something else, I couldn¡¯t quite catch up to him enough to assert he wouldn¡¯t be killing us! Of course, by this time, Apple had already started eating a Golden Rabbit, so I joined her as I munched on the ears first.

    They wouldn¡¯t feel as much pain in the afterlife if you started with the ears!

    On the other hand, Apple seemed generally worried about Heather as blood dripped down the side of her mouth. She even had a strange rumble echoing out of her tummy, and I patted it to make sure it still worked.

    After all, I knew where babies come from, and somehow when you butted heads it ended up in the gut! I had to protect this tummy, so I gave her an extra Golden Rabbit before she burped a couple of times.

    She looked at me strangely before spitting out a few small, pretty bones. They weren¡¯t as pretty as her of course, but she seemed to have something to say.

    ¡°You¡­ you still have that sheet about Golden Rabbits right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, of course Apple!¡± I had it in town.

    ¡°Good, can you take it out from me.¡± Then I told her I had it in town.

    ¡°Okay, I was just wondering if it was bad to eat too many of these?¡±

    ¡°It can¡¯t be that bad. It must be your stomach growing stronger.¡±

    ¡°Okay, well, why don¡¯t you eat ten too? If you can make it past ten, I¡¯ll eat another one?¡±

    ¡°Are you challenging me Apple?¡± Heather finally showed up again at this moment.

    ¡°Yes! I¡¯m challenging you!¡±

    ¡°You guys really shouldn¡¯t stay here! There are bounties hunters close by.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re going to have a competition Heather. They can join us if they want.¡± I never held back inviting company to a dinner party.

    ¡°Ugh, I¡¯ll meet you at the next location!¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± We weren¡¯t sure if he¡¯d survive the night but let him run off anyway. Just like the Young Golden Rabbits we let live, it be better for them in the long run to not have their parents watching them.

    At this point, I began eating Golden Rabbits and started feeling my Dantian spinning rapidly as Apple eagerly waited to see how many I could eat. After making it to the ninth rabbit, I also started to feel sick, but kept continuing to the foot of the tenth rabbit.

    Surely, if I could eat ten golden rabbits, I could eat eleven. However, I¡¯d forgotten what Gora¡¯s sister had warned in the book, and started on the eleventh before lightning struck down from the sky and roasted the rabbit in my hand.

    Apple frowned and shook her head. ¡°I knew we couldn¡¯t eat more than ten. It¡¯s clearly the limit of our stomachs.¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t be true. My luck was bad not good! I¡¯m going to try and eat another one!¡±

    Sure enough, this time, before I even reached the rabbit, the lightning struck our stash and burned it into flames. Starting a forest fire, I immediately cursed upwards for whomever ruined my dinner. ¡°They at least deserved to be eaten, you fiends!¡±

    Of course, I didn¡¯t put out the fire immediately in order to give the golden rabbits a proper burial. Using the thousand pound sword, afterwards, I glided by sword against the winds, and caused a few trees to fall down by accident.

    At least 500 out of the 1000 Rose Root Trees remained after my horrendous control of my strength, and only the biggest tallest trees out of the bunch! Sure that Boots would be proud of me we continued on our journey. Returning to that little town once more in order to shelter our heads from the Fire Rain.