《The things you do for coke》


 There was no Pan

    It had all started so simply that day. I was just living in my apartment and sweeping when suddenly there was a knockon the door. I walked to the door an opened it to see....nothing. No one was there. I looked around for a bit and found a small envelope. I picked the envelope up and was about to turn back and go inside when I heard a snicker. It appeared to be from inside the envelope. Puzzled, I looked at the envelope and slowly began opening it, just to be sure that there was nothing weird inside it and I just had a mind trick. Well imagine my shock when a foot tall black creature with big bulging eyes jumped out of the envelope and into my apartment!


    I screamed and fell back, not even fully comprehending what had happened before remembering that my roommate was inside. I had to warn him. I scrambled inside into the living room and looked for the strange little creature. I couldn¡¯t find the thing anywhere. It was like it just poofed out of exsistence. I heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and saw My roommate Brady Uzu walk out of the Bathroom noisily brushing my teeth. My eyes widened as I had a realization. The creature was daintily floating above Brady¡¯s head and waving the envelope at me. Little brat was taunting me. ¡°Is something wrong Tom?¡± Brady asked with perfect punctuation whilst still brushing his teeth. I shook my head.


    Brady shrugged and pulled his airpods out, two in each hand and inserted them in his ears, all while still brushing his teeth. He was brushing his teeth with just his tounge and mouth. He truly was a master of the mouth. Brady began closing his eyes and rocking out to some apparent rock music he was listenign. The creature raised its hand to the kitchen drawer. The drawer slid open and a butter knife levitated out of it. The creature giggled and I realized what it was going to do. It pointed the knife at Brady and Sent it flying towards him I jumped fowards and slapped the Knife away with a backhand slap. Amazingly, the knife bounced off my fingers and struck the weird creature directly in the face. The creature let out a faint shriek as it was sent flying and hit the back window. I took a pan from the kitchen and walked behind Brady who was still rocking out with his eyes closed and looked at the creature, waiting for it to make its move.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    The creature pointed its hand to the broom that I had left in the living room and moved it with its mind to attack me. I ducked as the broom struck the wall. The broom then hit me right in the gut and I yelped in pain. The creature began to laugh as it began hitting me with the broom handle in coordinated strikes like a swordsman. I could only block for so long. There had to be a way to get rid of this powerful pest. There was only one way I could stop the creature. I grabbed the broom handle mid swing to stop it from moving and then I Hurled the Pan at the creature! The creature let out a weak scream as it was struck by the pan and sent flying through the window and onto the busy streets below. The creature dropped the envelope right after it was hit. I sighed in relief and looked at the envelope. Suddenly the envelope floated over to me and said In a very strange voice: ¡°Your application has been considered. You just barely passed we shall be seeing you when the time is right¡± before fizzling out of exsistence. I slumped down to the ground, perplexed at everything that had just happened. Then I woke up with a start, sweating heavily. I got out of bed and walked out into the hallway, trying to make sure that it was just a dream. I was ecstatic to see that the window was indeed there and was not broken. Feeling ecstatic that it was all a dream I set out to make some eggs. When I got to the kitchen I had a realization. There was no Pan.

 The bar of beezlebub

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    To say I was completely and utterly perplexed by the dissapearence of the Pan would be an understatement. I just stood there in th kitchen for a solid minute, completely dumbfounded. Eventually I decided I needed to go out and clear my head. Too much strange stuff was happening to me today.


    I walked outside and looked around for something to do. It was the early morning and I could just barely see the sun over the horizon. It looked truly beautiful and mesmerizing. Suddenly I realized I was quite thirsty. I remembered that I had some refreshments in my little refregirator.


    I turned to the kitchen and walked over to the little mini fridge our apartment had. Inside of said mini fridge were some sodas and beers. My eyes settled upon some cherry soda. I took the soda and unscrewed the cap to that satisfying fizz sound that¡¯s familiar to everyone and anyone throughout all of time itself.


    I closed my eyes and held the soda over my mouth, waiting for the glorious cherry soda to enter my mouth and make me be in complete pure and total bliss...nothing. There was nothing. The amazing cherry soda that was God¡¯s gift to man wasn¡¯t entering my mouth. I opened my eyes in shock and turned the soda bottle over. It was empty. But how was it empty if not only it wasn¡¯t when I took it from the refrigerator, but also it managed to make that succulent fizzing sound.


    Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe I had forgotten to put the soda in the trash a while back. But then I remembered, I always knew everything about cherry soda, from the year it was created which was in 1982 to how many bottles you would need to drown three adult African elephants which is 5182 bottles I¡¯ll have you know. I protected my cherry sodas like a dragon protected it¡¯s treasure. I remember one time I was six and a robber invaded our house.


    At first I was extremely scared of him, but the instant one his bullet shots ricocheted off the wall and hit my bottle of cherry cola, I grabbed his gun from him and began beating him with it relentlessly. I ended up giving him two black eyes and blind in one eye for the rest of his life, so yeah, I kind of am really predatorial with my cherry coke soda.


    I decided whatever and grabbed another cherry coke. I unscrewed it and once again felt pure bliss form that fizzing sound. I expected it to enter my mouth. It didn¡¯t. Now at this point I knew I was being messed with. I knew for certain that the cherry coke was filled with soda mere moments earlier.


    Even though I was 100 percent positive that I was being screwed with I still felt like I was partly wrong. So I grabbed another cherry coke and lifted it over the ground. I unscrewed the cap and watched with my own eyes as the instant the soda left the cap it outright dissapeared. Now I had actual physical evidence that I was being screwed out of my cherry coke and I was still parched. I decided to go back to my original plan of going outside and clearing my head.


    I went outside. Once again the night sky and the sun in the horizon were quite beautiful. I looked to the beautiful city of Mahjong Oregon. Cars bustled and hussled down the roads. I noticed that about a mile or two away from me was what appeared to be a bar. I scanned the area for other bars that were a bit closer. All the other bars were closed, which was strange to me. I booted up my Aston Martin DB5 and drove off to the bar.


    Eventually, I came to the bar and was met with an odd sight. The Bar which was called Beezlebubs Layer, appeared to be absaloutely crammed packed with a bunch of fat people and businessmen and perhaps even fat businessmen. Although there were quite a bit of people in the bar, at least 50. There was only a single car in the parking lot, an orange mustang. I parked right next to the car. I got into the bar and was halfway inside and outside of the bar. I was met with a strong scent of sulfur and nearly doubled over.


    I heard a feminine voice cry out: ¡° Yes it¡¯s unlocked¡± I looked over to my right to see a women with wavy blond hair. Out of shock of her cry I rose back up and was now fully inside the bar. The doors suddenly quickly closed and I was pushed over into the trash can by the woman as she frantically pushed me over and frantically pushed at the door. ¡°What was that for?¡±


    I asked the woman. To which the woman replied, ¡°Sorry it¡¯s just I¡¯ve been trapped by the bartender in this bar for the past 2 hours now. ¡°Why won¡¯t he let you leave?¡± I asked. The woman shrugged her shoulders, ¡°He just won¡¯t ¡°


    suddenly my legs began to walk on their own! I tried to open my mouth and scream at anyone who would listen but couldn¡¯t. The woman tried to go walk over and stop me. Emphasis on tried, for she only went two steps before she suddenly stopped. ¡°I can¡¯t move¡± she muttered in utter shock and confusion.


    She couldn¡¯t move while I could only move. It was ironic really. Both of us would¡¯ve wanted to be switched in the others place. Unfortunately we couldn¡¯t. As I continued walking, all the weird businessmen slowly backed away as I walked to the bar table. Greeting me was a bartender. He was a very...huge person I should say. He had oily rolls of fat on his hands. His stomach was as big as my body. And he had more chins than a cat had lIves. I counted 12 in total.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Well tell me what do you want?¡± The bartender said, burping after he said it. I didn¡¯t have to think on the question for long and I immediately said. Cherry Cola. The bartender began sweating profusely and he reached down and pulled out a cherry cola.


    He was about to give it to me but he stopped right at my fingertips and put it on the back table. ¡°Oh sorry I just can¡¯t give this to ya. I realized why ya here.¡± The Bartender said. Now I was quite perplexed. How would he know why I was here when even I didn¡¯t. The bar just called to me and I was thirsty. " Your with the Cola Company aint ya?" Hearing this made me raise my brow in confusion. How could I, a random no-body be in the coca cola company? Now would I adore to be in a company such as that? well actually no because you see, they make the regular cola for the majority of the time. Whilst I suppose regular cola is fine, it doesnt show people the true enlightenment that is cherry cola.


    The barteneder stared at me with eyes of pure scorn before saying: "Well then....I can desal with this" The bartender reached under the table and I heard the sound of a gun being cocked. As he cocked the gun, the bartender dropped the cherry cola which I happily opened up, to the sound of that tantalizing bubbly sound it made. I was about to take a swig but was stopped as the bartender swung his gun from under the table, and smacked me in the face with it.


    The attack was so immense it practically sent me lauching into the ground. A normal person would be mad having been slapped with a gun hard enough to send them to the ground. but not me though. I could only think og one thing: that bastard stopped me from drinking my coke. No one stops me from drinking my coke! I got up and launched myself at the Bartnder. The Bartender merely grabbed me by the arm mid launch, and threw me into a table. I felt the hard wood of the table hit my back and screamed.


    The woman from earlier rushed over to my side and got me to my feet. ¡°Thanks!¡± I said exasperated. The woman opened her mouth and was about to say something but was cut as she was hit in th back of the head with a briefcase. I jumped back in shock and looked forward to see who threw the briefcase. It was a businessman. He wore a bright blue suit and had a red tie. He looked at me and smiled devilishly.


    ¡°Well look what we have here¡± he hissed, ¡° A man who thinks he can interrupt our fun. Sorry to have to do that to your little lady there pal, but we can¡¯t have anyone interfere with this amazing bar!¡± He put some sunglasses on. ¡°It¡¯s just business¡± he then ran toward me and punched me in the gut. I counterattacked via slamming my elbows directly into his spine. There was a cracking sound and the man slumped downs to the ground. I¡¯d feel bad for the guy if he didn¡¯t try to kill me. I walked over to the woman and took the briefcase off her head. She had a small trickle of blood.


    The woman was knocked out cold. I i put her onto a chair near a window, out of harms way. It was a good thing I did that too, as when I was done putting her on the chair, the buisnessman who recently had his spine cracked, grabbed me by the neck and slammed me into the wooden chair leg, hard enough for my nose to bleed. I was in shock at the sudden attack and just lied there underneath the table as the man began beating me over and over agin. there was the unmistakable taste of blood in my mouth and my vision grew blurry.


    The man stood over me and grabbed me by the leg. he began dragging me across the hard ground to his other businessmen buddies who were drinking alcohol and playing pool. He threw me at the buisnessmen and almost immdediately, I was grabbed by buisnessmen and slammed to the ground. The buisnessmen began piling up on me. in mere seconds, i had about 200 pounds worth of buisnessmen on top of me. seconds after, I had 500 pounds.


    I was practically infused to the ground ay this point. i was too tired to scream. i felt like i was gonna die. I knew i was gonna die. Then, out of the corner of my eye i saw the outrageously fat bartender look at me with eyes of pure hatred and smashed the coke bottle in his hands. cherry cola went everywhere. A single drop of the cherry soda landeed on my tongue. it was just a litte bit of the soda, about the size of a single grain of rice.


    but the insstant it landed on my tongue, i became overwhelmed with knowledge of the human mind and also greed. I also apepared to have gained superstrenght as when the drop of soda entered my mouth and i tried to get up, all the buisnessmen went flying off me. one ot the buisnessmen ended up smashing into the the glass door, shattering it completely. I noticed that as the man hit the hard pavement, he appeared to turn to dust right before my very eyes. I screamed and cluthched the table behind me only to gasp in shock as it broke and my hand went right through it like a knife through butter. The bartender looked at me, mouth agape.


    The buisnessman from before was sipping some beer and he began slowlyw walking towards me. Feeling confident with my newly gained super strenght, I punched him in the face with all my might...nothing. His face was as blank as a canvas. I pulled my arm away from his face and looked at it in confuison. " ¡°Now its time to get serious!" The man said. He grabbed me by the foot, and threw me into the bartender. The bartender sidestepped, and I barely had time to scream as I was slammed in through the wooden door.


    Pain overwhelmed me. I fell down some stairs that seemed way too long. Eventually I hit hard wooden ground. I could barely move at this point as I was overwhelmed with so much pain. My nose was bleeding, and my pinkie was bent the wrong way. Even though I was in so much pain, I was still a little bit relieved at the fact that so much adrenaline that was pursuing through my veins was enough to make my body not focus too much on the pain. Slowly, I stumbled to my feet, and faced the stairs. Standing at the top of the stairs and almost out of my sight of vision, was the businessmen and the bartender. ¡°Oh you¡¯ve asked for it now mortal!¡± The bartender said, brandishing a hatchet in his left hand. ¡°Shut up Bub!¡± The businessmen scowled, mouth literally twisted. ¡°Its because of you being an idiot he wasn¡¯t crushed to death from my buisnessmen out there¡±. The man¡¯s face then changed and it became a normal smile.


    ¡°Still If you wish for me to not be so displeased with you, you can kill him right now.¡± The bartender grinned and his eyes flowed a bright orange. The man left the room. The bartender began slowly walking down the steps. At first he appeared normal but as time went on and he came closer I noticed he appeared more demonic like. His folds of fat were replaced with bright red scales. He now had twelve chins as opposed to the single he had when I first met him. Two monstrous horns were now on the sides of his head. He was a demon. And he was about to kill me!