《# Gaea 1 - Blood of the Pure (COMPLETE)》


 Prologue

    "There are things that never change, in the World we know as Human World. Things that obey a Law as ancient as Time. An unbreakable Law which, in its inflexibility, is in itself the supporting pillar of the World, keeping the dimensional portals that allow us to arrive, and leave here, opened.


    In this World the oceans are liquid, even though their temperatures, currents, depths and tides are many. The earth is solid, although it has many different textures, constitutions and colors. There are mountains, plains, valleys, rivers and lakes, but, in time, they all end up changing places and shapes. The sky is blue, though it can be white, grey or even black.


    When we arrive into this World for the first time, we are eternal, incorporeal and vast. However, in order to stay, we become material, heavy and mortal.


    Some call this World a school ... maybe they''re right. But even if we define it as such, this World we call ours, in truth, doesn''t belong to us at all.


    In this World we are nothing but fleeting passing lights. We arrive here to grow, live, experience ... but we always end up leaving and very few choose to remain.


    To us, mere guests, the Law doesn''t apply completely, and we call the crack that remains opened, almost as a fatal error on a system otherwise perfect, Free Will.


    Because we are the only ones who benefit from it, in our insignificance and arrogance, we think ourselves almost divine. We claimed and named this World as our own, forgetting the existence of its true owners ¡ª those who have no choice, who never arrived here and shall never leave ... those who inevitably have no choice but to live by upholding the Law."


    <hr>


    Am I alive ... or am I dead?


    Maybe my existence has been over a long time ago and I''m just a wandering spirit, attached to a world of shadows. Yes, because shadows are all I see and all that surrounds me.


    Maybe it''s best if I''m dead. Because if not, what kind of life is this? And strangely death doesn''t sound so bad at all.


    The wind that roars in my ears, tossing my hair here and there, is cold, and I can''t help ask myself how come I''ve just noticed it.


    I hear the rustling of paper and look at the notebook at my feet. In an apathetic numbness, I pick it up and gaze at it with something similar to curiosity.


    On its pages strange symbols have been inscribed as well as some nonsensical words I have no recollection of writing, some even in foreign languages completely unknown to me. I try to read a few lines and find no meaning whatsoever. Some are fragmented thoughts, others the ravings of a lost mind, others yet what looks like some strange magic recipes. And yet I recognize my handwriting on all of them and know I should feel shocked for not remembering, but in truth I feel nothing.


    As of late, I really can''t tell where my mind has been. All I know is that when I wake up from the apathy that keeps me company the whole day, I''ve been staring into nothingness, lost in thoughts that I can never recall. All that''s left is this vertiginous sensation of falling into an endless abyss where all that awaits me is pain and emptiness, a dark pit from where I know I''ll never be able to return.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    I raise a hand and notice that I''ve almost forgotten how to move it. Ironically I notice that I''m not even sure this body belongs to me. Maybe I''ve just taken it by surprise. Maybe it was the shock of the sudden intrusion that stole my memories of whom I used to be, before being locked up inside this box of flesh and bone that, even though it should be warm and comforting, appears to me as cold and unfeeling as any prison.


    I hold my arms in a small embrace. Feel how thin they are, how my skin is freezing cold. Once more I wonder how long I''ve been standing here, sleeping with my eyes wide open, staring at the faraway horizon. I try harder to remember, make an effort to recover the time that I seem to have lost, try to find an answer. But the memories come to me deformed, like a landscape you can''t clearly see, lost in the mist. I know that normally this misty canvas is enough to make me give up, to make me choose to simply return to my apathetic and unfeeling existence. However, never before, in my continuous and unconscious wandering, have I ever found myself in a place such as this. And, although the view is indeed magnificent, the hidden meaning behind my presence here leaves me unusually awake and curious.


    And so I decide to insist.


    I tell myself that if I''m unable to remember what brought me here, or how I got here, maybe I can recall what happened before ... or even before, or much, much before ...


    I stop for a moment.


    What, exactly, is the last thing I remember?


    The question echoes unanswered in my mind. The last thing I recall ...


    And then sounds come to me from faraway, as if my ears could capture the voices from the past. I feel my heart jump in anticipation, a sensation all together strange to me. I''m not used to having these feelings.


    I recall a touch and, at the same time, know that it''s not real. I close my eyes trying to stop reality from interfering with the frail thread that is my memory. Now that I''ve finally grasped it, I want to try my best and hold on to it. I focus even harder and, slowly, let myself be carried away by this strange feeling of warmth.


    I grab the pen I find in my pocket and open the notebook on an empty page. I want to make sure that something will remain, something that will be able to spark my memory once I''ve forgotten myself again. I allow the voices and sensations from the past to fill me and pass through me as if they weren''t really mine, as if the eyes through which I see them now weren''t my eyes as well ... and write.


    <hr>


    The lips that kept me silent were soft but cold, stealing my breath away. The hand that held my wrist against the bed was big, its fingers long and thin.


    The weight of his body, the electric touch of his skin against mine, the sound of his heavy ragged breath on my mouth between passionate kisses ...


    For a moment I tried as hard as I could to master something similar to a coherent thought. Somewhere inside me a small almost mute voice kept telling me that this was wrong.


    I placed my free hand on his naked shoulder and a shudder went through my body. His cold skin was smooth and thin, his shoulder strong and firm. I pushed that rock with all my strength, or at least willed it so. I would never be strong enough to push his heavy body away, but that didn''t matter anyway. My hand simply trembled as a feeble expression of my weak resolve and slid around his neck, grasping a lock of silky hair.


    His lips left mine as I lay there, dizzy and gasping for air, and his breath caressed my face, stopping near my neck.


    Cold fingers touched my leg, pulling it around his waist, making me tremble. All I could feel was his skin, his body molded against mine, or was it the other way around?


    His tongue, soft and strangely hot, traced the outline of my ear lobe, gently nibbling it, leaving me breathless again.


    His low velvet laughter left me suddenly alert, but still, that deep sound only made me want him even more.


    "You''re mine ..."

 Chapter 1 - Part 1

    TEX


    ¨C Exordium of the Equinox of the Gods. 1 ¨C


    "Ah, to be able to love, to be able to suffer, to be able to feel ... That which all Humans have for granted, for me are nothing but fleeting rays of light amongst the dark clouds that constantly overcast the sky of my life ..."


    Part 1


    The sound of the alarm clock brusquely pulled me from my dream. Heart still pounding, I took a deep breath and searched for the alarm button.


    With some effort I recalled the day of the week and, being Wednesday, wished it was Saturday so I could just turn over and go back to sleep.


    "Mari! Hurry up! You''ll be late!" a woman''s muffled voice called from the distance making me grumbled a silent complaint. Reluctantly leaving behind the warmth of my soft quilt, I stood up and opened the curtains. The heavy gray sky of another February morning greeted me and suggested it would probably rain.


    The quiet Cressingham Road where we had just moved to was already showing signs of life, as those who started their days earlier left the comfort of their homes, and I was once again dragged back to my personal reality.


    Removing my pajamas, I put on the jeans I''d left over the chair the night before, and the cool fabric against my warm skin made me shiver.


    For a moment the dream, that had repeatedly disturbed my sleep for many nights now, crawled back into my memory making my cheeks burn.


    I looked in the mirror hanging from one of the walls and sighed. Leave it to me, to have a dream like that ... Or maybe it was exactly because it was me!


    Another sigh, this one much bitter, left me somewhat depressed. The truth was that in my seventeen years of life I had had little to no experience as far as relationships with the opposite sex were concerned. In fact, ''none'' would better describe my situation. And now a dream like that tormented me every single night.


    I covered my face, too ashamed to even look at myself, and took a deep breath.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Not much I could do about it. Truth be said, I was far from being an attractive girl. At five-feet-one I was too thin, even though I tried on daily basis to correct that fact by eating enough for two. My straw-like hair was neither blond nor brown, falling straight just below my shoulder blades. My eyes, of the same indecisive color, were too big for my face, making it look like I was always staring at something, or someone, which made me avoid direct eye contact with others. And to finish it off, I was basically deprived of any feminine forms, leading others to believe I was only old enough to attend, maybe, the seventh grade.


    I sighed again, now feeling really depressed, and put on a brown, turtleneck wool jumper. Next in line were my rain boots, and I was finally ready to make my way to the bathroom, and face my every morning fight against my dull hair. Once that was over, I was able to finally follow the delicious scent of freshly made toast into the kitchen.


    "Finally, Mari! Good morning!" Rachel, my mother, greeted me, kissing me lightly on the cheek while placing a plate with two pieces of toast and a cup of milk in front of me. "Sleep well?"


    "Kind of," I replied, taking a bite, but she didn''t seem to hear my answer.


    "I have a meeting today. Which means I''ll probably be late. But you have what''s left from yesterday''s dinner in the fridge. Just warm it up, if you don''t feel like cooking. But make sure you eat!" she stressed while putting on her coat and, like every morning, went about searching for her car keys.


    "On the cupboard, in the living room," I reminded her, and she nearly ran out of the kitchen.


    "Ain''t I the luckiest mom to have an all-knowing daughter like you," she told me as she came back dangling the keys on one finger and then turned around inquisitively. "How do I look?"


    Quite different from me, my mother was a very attractive woman. The gray wool-skirted suit she wore fit her perfectly. She''d tied her blond hair on the top of her head, allowing the elegant line of her neck to show. And the soft makeup she wore highlighted her expressive eyes.


    We''d moved into that house at the beginning of the semester, after what had probably been the most peaceful divorce on Earth. My father had taken a working position in New York and, it seemed, they had both agreed there wasn''t any reason to try and maintain a relationship that had been slowly deteriorating over time. Only I had been living under the illusion of a happy family and a perfect marriage.


    Rachel was an independent woman, her personality strong and outgoing, the complete opposite of me. She worked as an interior designer and, contrary to what one would expect, the divorce hadn''t affected her in the least; almost as if she''d never been married and my father leaving us had been the same as saying goodbye to a nice neighbor with whom she had casually shared her house for the last twenty years.


    "Wonderful, like always," I honestly replied, asking myself what was her secret to achieve such charming appearance, and she smiled happily as if she needed my approval.


    "Be good then," she said, kissing my forehead. "Anything, just call me. See you later."


    "Later," I answered with a smile. The sound of her high heels echoed through the house until the front door was shut.


    Once alone I made sure I ate the two slices of toast, although I didn''t feeling all that hungry. When I casually took a peek towards the kitchen clock, I couldn''t help cursing. I was already late!

 Chapter 1 - Part 2

    Part 2


    I''d enrolled the Christ the King College in the beginning of the year.


    Since I''d completed the eleventh grade at a Catholic school, my mother had wanted me to continue my studies at a Catholic institution, and Christ the King had been her choice. I didn''t mind it either way.


    The sound of the bell made me run once again. The first class of the morning was English Literature and the teacher was particularly demanding with regard to punctuality.


    "Morning, Mari!" I followed the voice that had called me and made sure I smiled.


    "Morning, Steph. Late as always, I see," I remarked, fully aware that that morning I could hardly criticize her, but she shrugged unconcerned.


    "I hate English Literature. Especially early in the morning," she replied, running to catch up to me, before I opened the classroom door just in time for the second bell.


    Our teacher, Mr. Frederich, raised his narrowed eyes from the class enrollment list and gave us a cold, unpleasant look.


    "Late as always, Miss Stephanie Waters! And it would seem your bad influence is starting to rub off on your friends as well. Miss Mariane Mellis! I should warn you that if you are going to start following your friend''s bad example you''ll end up seeing your grades plunge until they are also the same!"


    "I''m terribly sorry. It won''t happen again," I quickly apologized, and with an unpleasant frown he had no choice but to let us in.


    "Hurry up and take your seats! Quietly!" he grumbled and we obeyed as fast as humanly possible.


    "Stupid annoying old man. I hate him as much as he hates me!" Steph said under her breath as she pulled the chair beside me and I smiled wryly praying he hadn''t heard her just now. Joanne Baits however, sitting right in front of Steph, was an entirely different matter, and she smiled amusingly as she turned back in her chair.


    "And then? What was it this morning? The cat? Your brother? The bus?" she asked, trying to guess the excuse Steph had prepared.


    Steph shrugged. "Fell asleep. I was watching this movie until late last night and didn''t hear the alarm go off," she answered while opening her book and Joanne laughed lightly.


    "Oh my, Steph being honest," she teased and turned to the front before she could be scolded as well. I smiled as Steph sighed, bored to death, and opened my book to page forty-seven to follow the text being read.


    Stephanie Waters was the only girl in school I''d dare call a friend. In truth it was almost as if she''d somehow adopted me. Stephanie, Joanne and Joe Rider were all childhood friends, attending the same schools since forever, and Steph had been the first person to talk to me in the beginning of the year, when I''d been completely alone, being the new girl and all.


    The complete opposite of me, Steph had wavy dark hair, which fell softly around her delicate face. Her olive-colored eyes changed shades according to the light. And her skin was smooth and pinkish. Much taller than me, her body was the envy of many girls our age and everything she wore fit her perfectly, almost as if she were some magazine model. She was funny, outgoing and generally well liked, and there was no one who didn''t know her. Steph had pulled me into her group of friends and was my daily savior, filling up the space I couldn''t fill due to my usual lack of appropriate words or knowledge, as far as interesting conversation subjects were concerned. Thanks to Steph my otherwise nonexistent social life always managed to have some color.


    The morning went by the same as usual.


    After English Literature came Philosophy. Neither Joanne nor Steph were in that class, so I shared my desk with Kevin London, another boy from our group.


    Kevin was the quietest of them, no one knowing exactly what he thought about the rest of the world. Together we were the absurd of the lack of subject, since the words we exchanged were always so few. But I still couldn''t help feel at ease near him, and his company was much more pleasant than that of the other boys from school.


    When lunchtime finally came we met Steph and Joanne again, in the cafeteria, where we took our places at our group''s usual table. The conversation became immediately livelier and, as always, I followed Steph while she told us about the movie that had kept her awake the previous night.


    Like always, Joe immediately started picking on Joanne, making her give him her full attention instead of listening to what Steph was saying. Albert Clayton was whispering something apparently funny in Sarah Trent''s, his new girlfriend, ear. She laughed softly, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright blue. Kevin had his nose stuck in a book, which quickly became Steph''s target since Joanne wasn''t paying her attention. I just made sure I kept on smiling.


    Again that feeling ...


    It was as if I was there but wasn''t. As if I was one of them, but in truth something completely different. As if that was my reality, but at the same time I was a mere spectator of some strange movie. As if, for a moment, my world had stopped turning while theirs went on, slowly leaving me behind.


    "Mari!" Steph''s voice woke me from my digressions. "We were talking about going to Oxford Street tomorrow, after school. Want to come? Anyway, you always spend your afternoons home alone, right? Why don''t you leave your books behind for a change?" she asked with her typical liveliness. Although we''d only met a few months ago, I had to concede that Steph knew me all too well. Her arguments left me no way to politely refuse her invitation, which, to top it all, had made me uncomfortably the center of everyone''s attention.


    "Ok," I just answered, forcing a smile, and the talk immediately became all about the shops we absolutely had to go to. The boys offered to accompany us, making Sarah happy and Joanne frown in disapproval, since that meant Joe was coming too, to torment her all afternoon. They talked about our impending afternoon all throughout lunch, but my mind had been elsewhere ever since I''d sat down with my food tray. I focused on eating everything I''d bought as fast as I could and it only took me the whole of ten minutes to be done with it, soup and desert included.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    Standing up, I hopped no one would notice my absence, but Steph didn''t allow me to leave that easily.


    "Going already?" she asked, knowing all too well where I was headed, and I blushed, nodding. "Good luck then!" she added, winking, and I walked away with my empty tray before anyone else could question me about my destination.


    After placing the tray on its rightful place, I ran from the cafeteria towards the north building and out into the cold, pale day. The wind that cut through my clothes made me shiver and hold my breath for an instant. But a second later none of that mattered anymore. Because there he was ¡ª Michael Heaton.


    His smile froze me instantly in place and all I could do was watch him from where I stood. As always, Michael was surrounded by his usual group. At the time they seemed to be talking about something amusing and, even though I was too far away to hear them, I noticed his sandwich had been forgotten, his attention completely focused on what one of the other boys was saying.


    Forcing myself to take a few steps as the glass door to the cafeteria building closed behind me, I sat down in the middle of the small stairway just to merely look at him.


    Michael was simply ... perfect.


    His blond hair was soft and shiny. His green eyes seemed to glow. And his warm and purely wonderful smile made my heart beat like crazy, so much so that I wondered if those who walked by me were able to hear it. At about six-feet tall, he had long, well-built legs and his movements were incredibly smooth. Just watching him, even from a distance, brought a new light into my day, making me positively certain that it was really good to be alive after all.


    Michael was one grade above mine, even though he was two years older. He''d also enrolled in Christ the King at the beginning of the year and it had been during the opening ceremony that I''d laid my eyes on him for the first time. He''d instantly become one of the most popular guys in school but he still didn''t seem to take any pride in that.


    From what I''d heard, Michael had been in some kind of accident and had been hospitalized for almost a year. And even though he seemed completely recovered, he''d apparently lost his memory. For a long time the police had looked for someone who could recognize him, someone from his family, a home to where he could return to. But no one had come forth. Around that time Father Jorge, who was visiting a family member in the same hospital, learned about his case and decided to become Michael''s guardian, enrolling him in Christ the King.


    Despite his unfortunate situation however, Michael always had a bright smile on his face, and was cheery and friendly towards everyone. Besides attending classes, he assisted Father Jorge at Friday mass, which led me to visit the school''s chapel quite regularly.


    It was impossible to deny that I was completely in love with him. I knew his routines by heart, the classes he took, his schedule and habits. He usually brought lunch from home trying to save up some money, probably not wanting to weigh too heavily on Father Jorge who now looked after him. He always ate lunch outside, under the trees. And although bringing your own lunch from home could definitely be seen as uncool for anyone else, no one seemed to think the first thing about that where Michael was concerned. Everyone had naturally accepted it.


    Luckily, most of my classes took place in the same building as his, although his classroom was on another floor.


    Even so, lunch period was the only time I dared take a few moments to simply stare at him, hoping my freaky behavior might go unnoticed. As to be expected from someone shy and introverted like me, my low self-esteem would never allow me to even speak to someone as popular as him, much less confess my feelings, no matter how much Steph insisted on it.


    As I sat on those stairs, dazedly watching his every move, time quickly went by. And so I was startled by the sound of the bell that forced me out of my waking dream and made me quickly jump to my feet. Usually I''d be gone before the bell rang, so that no one would notice my unwanted presence. This time, however, when I looked up Michael and his friends were already walking in my direction, making me panic.


    I spun around before he could take a real look at my face and hastily ran up the stairs. But, in my clumsiness, my boot slipped on the last step. The only thing I recall is the feeling of time being stopped, and of me slowly falling on my back. A shout rang in my ears and something warm cushioned my fall. At first I was too dizzy and confused to understand what had happened, but the sound of voices soon became clear in my mind and started to make sense again.


    "Michael! You''re all right?"


    Panicking once again I noticed the arms firmly closed around me, that I was sitting on the ground, and that I wasn''t alone!


    "I''m OK. Don''t worry." A soft warm voice answered so close to my ear that my heart skipped a beat, leaving me petrified. "Hi! Are you all right?" His arms released me and when I turned towards his voice I saw him kneeling right beside me, his perfect face painfully close to mine. Michael was worried about me. "Did you get hurt?" he asked once again and I shook my head, mesmerized by his gaze. Still stupefied, I watched him stand up and offer his hand to help me.


    Still shaky, I tried my best to accept his help, since I was sure I''d never be able to move again. And his big, warm hand surrounded mine, swiftly pulling me back to my feet.


    "You sure you''re all right? Maybe I should take you to the infirmary just in case," he suggested and I wished I could lower my gaze and hide my blushed cheeks, but I simply wasn''t able to turn away from his green eyes.


    "No ... I''m fine, thank you," I answered in a low voice, wondering how I''d been able to speak without stammering, and he smiled, breaking my heart into several tiny pieces.


    "Good. That could''ve been a serious fall," he noted, measuring the stairs with a critical look. "Hmm, were you lost? Looking for someone?" he asked me again in a helpful tone and I shook my head, commanding my voice to be heard.


    "Was going to class ... History."


    As expected he didn''t even know I existed. And going by his question he''d probably thought I belonged to some other school and had gone there looking for my older brother or something like that. And to think I''d been so worried about him noticing me, sitting daily on those stairs.


    To confirm my suspicions his expression was one of surprise, but a friendly smile immediately took over his face.


    "Which grade?"


    "Twelfth."


    "Ah, a year below ours. My name is Michael," he introduced himself as if there was anyone in school that didn''t know him.


    "Mariane," I replied in kind and the second bell rang, dragging us both back to reality.


    "Damn! We''re late!" one of the other boys said rushing inside and the rest followed him, leaving me still dazed.


    "Come!" His voice rang in my ears as if it were a dream and the hand that still held mine pulled me along, making me run as well. When I realized we were already on the first floor, and his hand released mine leaving me temporarily lost and cold. "Your classroom is here, right?" he asked and all I could do was nod. "Mine is upstairs. See you around," he added, blinding me once more with his smile, and, releasing my hand, turned around and climbed the stairs leading to the next floor.


    I hardly listened to anything said in History class. There was the slight remembrance of Steph''s inquisitive look due to my tardiness. I know she asked me about it, but I can''t recall my answer. My head was somewhere else. And, by the time class was over, I could still feel the warmth of his hand on mine and the scent of his skin where he''d touched me, the same scent that had surrounded me when he''d put his arms around me to break my fall.


    The sound of his voice rang in my ears and I prayed that those memories would remain engraved in my mind for all eternity.


    It was in that near-sleepwalking state that I said goodbye to my friends and returned home. From our group, I was the only one who lived at a walking distance from school, which thankfully allowed me to enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet when commuting to and from school.


    As expected, no one was home to greet me, but for the first time since we''d moved in I didn''t miss the sound of the operas my father often played in the house.


    I went up to my room and dropped my bag on the desk, lying on the bed with a sigh. I could hardly believe my day.

 Chapter 1 - Part 3

    Part 3


    Just like before, the same dream tortured me that night. Those hands touching me, robbing me of strength and sense alike, leaving me in complete surrender before his touch. My body burned and melted with his every move. His skin was smooth and cool, his daring mouth ripping shameful moans from my forcibly sealed lips.


    As always the sound of the alarm clock dragged me from his caressing arms, and I buried my face on the pillow trying to regain my lost breath. It was the tenth consecutive night and I couldn''t help asking myself how many more nights I''d be tortured by those indecent scenes.


    The last time I''d been plagued by recurring dreams my parents had announced their divorce a few days later. In that dream I was always trying to escape something or someone unseen, always alone, running through London''s cold and deserted streets. I was desperately looking for something I couldn''t find. And the loneliness made my chest hurt. There was no one else in that dream, just me.


    The dreams only stopped when my mom had decided to tell me what was going on. And I understood then that I''d been reacting like a child, filled with fears of abandonment. The difference was I''d reacted a bit too soon. And now this.


    To make things even worse my unexpected meeting with Michael floated back into my mind. And I couldn''t help wondering if that dream wasn''t a mirror of my desire and, like the ones before, a sign that my wish would eventually come true. Michael and I ... in a scene like that! Pulling at my own hair I forced myself to return to reality and turned around to take a deep breath.


    "I''m such an idiot!"


    As if something like that would ever happen. It was only a dream, probably brought upon by my complete lack of contact with the opposite sex, beyond some brief ''Good mornings'' and ''See you tomorrows.''


    Rachel''s voice warned me about the time and I got dressed as fast as I could, unwilling to be late again.


    "Mari, I have another meeting today. But I''ll probably be home earlier," she explained while checking the documents she''d placed inside her briefcase. Her flowery perfume overlapped the smell of fresh coffee. Like always, that morning my mother was the perfect image of a modern woman. "If you get hungry there are some steaks in the fridge ready to grill. Or make some eggs if you prefer," she instructed. She drank the rest of her coffee as I munched on the yogurt with cereal that filled my mouth.


    "It''s OK. Today I''m going out with the guys. Steph invited me to go shopping with them," I told her, knowing she''d be excited about my plans and, as if not to disappoint me, a smile stretched her carefully painted lips.


    "Oh! That''s wonderful. I always tell you you should go out more! But please be careful, OK? And don''t come back too late."


    "Don''t worry. I still have my homework to do and tomorrow is school day again," I answered, trying to reassure her, and she kissed me on the cheek.


    "Have fun then. And try to buy something new to wear. I swear, you''ve been wearing the same clothes for the last ten years!" she teased, to which I stuck my tongue out, aware that she''d been referring to my small-sized clothes. As bad as it was I was rather confident about looking at least older than a seven-year-old. "If you need something, call me. I''ll have the cell on at all times."


    "I''ll be fine. Just go already and have a nice day!" I responded, knowing she''d end up being late, and Rachel left the kitchen, taking her briefcase with her.


    The first class in the morning was English, which Steph and Joanne also attended. However, unlike Mr. Frederich, Mrs. Turner seemed to be rather deaf, or simply couldn''t care less if we were paying attention. After all, we were all big boys and girls, old enough to know what was really important in life. And so the most pressing subject at the moment was our plans for that afternoon, at least until the topic changed.


    "But tell me! Yesterday you went to see him again, right? You didn''t tell me anything after that. Did you finally talk to him?" Steph asked, lowering her voice, and I nodded, blushing noticeably. "You did!" she contested in a louder tone, her eyes wide in disbelief as if she''d never expected it to even be possible. "Oh my God!"


    "Sh!" I hushed her, looking around, making sure no one was listening. "Not so loud!"


    "Just spit it! Tell me everything!" she demanded, ignoring my complaint, and I shrugged.


    "There''s nothing to tell, really," which was far from the truth. Those fleeting minutes had been engraved in my mind in all detail. But how could I ever tell her that? That I could still feel the warmth of his hand on mine? It was just too embarrassing. "I told him my name," I added to satisfy her curiosity. Steph''s smile was warm and honest.


    "That''s great, Mari! Finally! And what about today? Have you talked to him yet?" she asked as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and I flinched reflexively as if she''d just threatened me with some sharp object.


    "Of course not! Why? Do I have to?"


    "Come on, Mari! You can''t let things cool down!" she went on, her greenish eyes sparkling bright, almost frighteningly. "Now that you finally broke the ice, there''s no need to hesitate. At least go and tell him hello!"


    I lowered my gaze, knowing I''d never have the courage to do something that bold. I pictured it in my mind. My insignificant self walking towards him ... his warm smile, his green eyes looking straight at me. My heart jumped as if he were really there and I swallowed dry. I still couldn''t, for the life of me, understand how I''d been able to talk to him in the first place, even as briefly as it had been.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    "You have to talk to him again! And then again, and again!" Steph insisted as if it were something of the utmost importance and I nodded, every bit sure that I''d never be able to do as she told me.


    The rest of the morning went on as usual, with the exception that I was too aware of Michael''s presence in a classroom, somewhere on the floor above. My stomach was in knots, my hands too hot and moist. In truth I couldn''t remember ever feeling so nervous, not even when taking an exam. Steph''s words tumbled around in my mind and, surprisingly, by the end of the morning my panicky self had been defeated and I''d begun to accept that talking with him again was inevitable.


    As soon as the bell rang most of our classmates made their way to the cafeteria. We, on the other hand, met Kevin outside our classroom and went towards the main gate. Any other day we would have joined everyone else, but since we were going out it had been decided we''d get something to eat in town. Like the day before, the sky was heavy and dark gray and the air smelled of rain.


    Joe was the first to arrive, jumping up and down like some elementary school kid, and promptly made a rather unpleasant comment about Joanne''s skirt, which she''d clearly chosen with some care. Joanne, however, wasn''t one to feel down over her friend''s idiocy and replied in kind. Soon they were bickering loud and clear and everyone who walked by us smiled amused.


    "We''re missing Albert and Sarah," Steph noted, looking around, completely immune to their usual quarreling.


    "There they are," Kevin said, signaling the couple approaching us hand in hand, but my attention was diverted somewhere else.


    Just like the day before, Michael was laughing with his friends, but my eyes wandered to the two girls walking with them. They were both popular enough to be well known throughout the entire school. I, for once, had already seen them around and, although their styles were far from agreeing with my taste, I couldn''t deny that they were beautiful, always exuding self-confidence, as if the world were theirs for the taking.


    "Go talk to him!" Steph whispered in my ear as Albert and Sarah patiently listened to Joanne''s complaints. "Just go already! Go tell him hello and see you tomorrow. What does it matter as long as you speak with him?" Steph insisted but I hesitated, squeezing my sweaty hands together while desperately looking for an excuse to get out of there. Her friendly arm over my shoulders made me jump, her smiling face right next to mine. "Be brave, Mari! If you don''t take this step now no one will take it for you. Sure he''s cute and all, but in the end he''s just a guy like so many others around."


    I sighed. What use would it be trying to explain he was far from being like the others? It was almost as if we were living in two completely different worlds.


    The soft push she gave me forced my petrified legs to move and stumble forward. And as crazy as it was that same movement repeated itself, almost as if I were some kind of robot, taking my stiff body and paralyzed mind towards Michael.


    My heart was beating so hard I was practically deaf to the world surrounding me. I had the strange feeling of hearing his warm and marvelous laughter amongst the soft and delicate voices of the two girls. Another boy was telling them something apparently funny. And then, suddenly, everyone grew quiet; and, horrified, I understood why. My presence had been noticed and they were all looking at me with intrigued expressions.


    Now that I could see them right there, right in front of me, standing side by side, I wondered if I wasn''t actually looking at some kind of work of art. The four of them together were simply perfect ... like a painting. A painting where I could never belong. The knot in my stomach grew even tighter and I lowered my gaze, remembering how my eyes always looked kind of eerie when I looked directly at someone. From then on four pairs of shoes were all I could see and, when I realized, my feet weren''t moving anymore and I was standing right there, in front of them. I swallowed hard, not sure I was still breathing, and Steph''s words were the only thing I could think of.


    "Um ... Hello," I somehow managed to mutter and was immediately certain no one had been able to hear me. I felt so stupid! And then what? The silence around me told me they were waiting for something else, some kind of purpose for my presence there, maybe an excuse for my interruption. "Ah!" I suddenly exclaimed as something else crawled into my numb brain and, forgetting myself, I raised my head to look at him. "I never had the chance to thank you ... for yesterday," I spat all in one breath and only then noticed his surprised expression. Looking away once more, I escaped those green eyes that had the ability to make my heart stop and fervently wished I could simply disappear or, at the very least, run away from that embarrassing situation. Above all, I couldn''t, much less wanted, to imagine what he might be thinking about the strange, incoherent girl standing before him. "So ... hum ... thank you," I added, trying to make sure my voice didn''t tremble.


    "Oh. You''re welcome," he replied, sounding somewhat unsure. But none of that mattered. All I could think about was that he had answered. My cheeks caught on fire and a shy smile stretched across my lips as my heart jumped in pure bliss.


    "Well, that''s it then," I said, not knowing what else to say, aware that my courage was already beyond spent, and fell back on Steph''s words of support. "Hum ... See you tomorrow."


    "Right. See ya."


    My smile took over my entire face as I turned around wishing to return to Steph''s side as fast as possible, my footsteps still shaky as I walked in a complete state of disbelief. My heart was beating like crazy, but I was overjoyed and proud of myself. I wished I could run, or jump, and so I tried my best to keep walking as normally as possible. Finally! I''d been able to take the initiative and talk to him. And he had answered me! He had talked and looked at me!


    "That girl. Who was she, Michael?" I heard one of the girls ask and my attention was immediately focused on them.


    "Hum ... To tell you the truth, I don''t really know." All air left my chest and a dark hole opened beneath my feet. The voice I loved so much saying words that could break my entire being. "Her face isn''t completely strange, though."


    I wondered if I was still breathing and noticed I wasn''t. Taking a deep breath, I filled my lungs as pain filled my heart. My eyes burned and I wished I could cry, but had no tears to shed. And so I raised my head and kept walking towards Steph, who was watching me from a distance. The truth was I could never cry when I felt like it or had reasons to do it.


    "Isn''t she the girl we met yesterday, at lunchtime? The one from the stairs?" the other boy asked, still wondering.


    "She''s weird," one of the girls stated critically. So I was deeply grateful when the distance between us wouldn''t allow me to hear anymore, and even more relieved when Steph''s voice filled my ears.


    "How did it go? Did you talk to him?" she asked me excitedly, putting an arm around my shoulders, and I simply nodded. My body was there, I could feel her warmth and hear her voice, but the world around me didn''t seem real at all.


    "Hey, Mari! How do you know Michael Heaton?" Joanne asked me curiously. I raised my head drawing a smile on my face, not knowing if it would be enough to fool them. Were there tears in my eyes? My sight was a bit blurry, making everything deformed and distorted like in a nightmare.


    "I don''t. I just went to thank him for his help, yesterday. That''s all," I answered and the pain in my chest became even sharper.


    He hadn''t had the slightest idea who I was! He didn''t remember me! My own insignificance hit me hard. How could I''ve been so stupid! I should''ve known better and known my own place.


    To my relief the subject of ''Michael Heaton'' was quickly forgotten. Steph, who seemed rather pleased with my progress, dragged me by the arm and we finally left the school grounds towards the bus stop.

 Chapter 1 - Part 4

    Part 4


    At that time of day there were very few people in the streets and, because we were practically standing at the National Art Gallery''s doorsteps, most passers-by were tourists taking pictures near Trafalgar Square''s fountain.


    Steph looked at the time on her small golden wristwatch and took a deep breath.


    "It''s two o''clock. Can we meet here by three? Will it be enough, Mari?" she asked and I nodded.


    During our subway trip we''d ended up agreeing to split up for at least an hour, so that I could pay a short visit to some of my favorite bookshops, which no one else seemed to be interested in. In truth, one hour would hardly be enough to cover half a bookshop, much less visit more than one. But, on the other hand, I could hardly deny that, left on my own to freely wander around, I would spend the whole afternoon lost amongst books, reading titles, synopses and prefaces. Since I wasn''t alone I simply couldn''t be rude to the point of telling them I''d be happy spending the rest of the afternoon on my own.


    The freezing wind made me shiver and I pulled the collar of my coat up. Walking hurriedly with my head bent to better cut through the wind, I followed the opposite direction from the rest of the group.


    The first drops of rain fell cold and heavy, and quickly evolved into a compact rainstorm. I fished an umbrella from inside my bag and huddled under my coat, but the wind seemed determined to blow my umbrella away, and the thought that I would end up being carried away with it crossed my mind. The hard, cold rain wasn''t falling vertically anymore and I was completely soaked to the bones in a matter of minutes.


    I ran down the street and pushed open the first door I came across. A tiny bell rang, announcing my presence, and I took a deep breath as I closed my dripping umbrella, which somehow had survived the flash storm raging outside. The sudden heat from inside the store blushed my cheeks and I tried to straighten my hair, certain that by then it must look like a wet rat''s nest.


    "Good afternoon. May I help you?"


    Obviously I shouldn''t have been startled to hear a voice, but I still jumped as I turned around, noticing for the first time the kind of shop I had inadvertently walked in.


    My eyes swept over the many objects pending from the ceiling ¡ª wind chimes of various sizes and materials, some shining softly, others made of feathers and gemstones, swinging lazily due to my unexpected visit. The left shelf was filled with different artifacts and statues from all kinds of cultures ¡ª Egyptian, Mayan, Aztecan, South American, Oriental, African. On the right there was a stand with CDs carefully arranged. At the top, on a paper printed with a flowery font, was written ''New Age.'' Near the stand, a glass showcase kept strange objects, whose purpose I couldn''t even begin to imagine. I noticed some metal daggers and tall cups and glasses that reminded me of the Middle Ages. There were golden crucifixes of different types, wooden bowls and hand mirrors. Over the counter, placed at the far end of the store, there was a stand with candles sorted by color and, inside the counter, silver and crystal pendants with strange symbols glittered under the pinkish light that shone over them. I recognized a Celtic influence on many of the pendants. Others had designs easier to understand, such as the dragons, mages, pentagrams, swords and crosses I could see from where I stood. And finally, behind the counter, was the woman who had greeted me.


    Her hair was mainly white, pulled up on a snowy knot. She wore a purple shawl over her shoulders and was watching me with a friendly, but somehow intimidating, expression. Her dark eyes, even from behind the glasses that hung from the point of her nose, shone with a liveliness rarely found on faces marked by time like hers; and she smiled almost softly.


    Behind her, a bookshelf immediately caught my attention. The books had been carefully arranged by collections and sizes, and I couldn''t help notice that some looked really old, the brownish spines empty of titles.


    "Ah! I''m really sorry to bother you. But the truth is I just came in to get out of the rain. I was completely caught off guard," I hurriedly excused myself and expected to see some measure of disappointment on her face, but her eyes seemed to glow even brighter.


    "I see. It''s really raining hard. Make yourself at home, child. It''s no bother at all."


    "Thank you. I hope it will ease up soon," I said wishfully, watching as the drops fell hard on the street''s cobblestones outside.


    "Why don''t you take this chance and have a look around? This store is filled with many interesting things," she suggested, and I wondered if I should tell her I had no interest whatsoever in that kind of stuff.


    My lack of spiritual beliefs had accompanied me since the death of my grandmother, when I was still a child. At the time my mother had tried to explain to me what had happened, using all the typical strategies grown-ups apply when talking to children about life and death. She had told me my grandma Anne had gone to Heaven to be with God, the Angels and the Baby Jesus; and how everything was much more beautiful and peaceful up there. However, and contrary to what had been expected, my incomprehension of death quickly transformed into feelings of anger and envy of God. After all, why did He have the right to keep my grandma if she was mine to begin with? I was sure that, given the choice, she would have rather stay with me, than go with Him to Heaven. Clearly, if she had left me, it was because someone had forced her to go. God, Angels, Baby Jesus! None of that mattered at all! All I knew was that someone or something had taken her away from me, and that was unforgivable.


    Sure, over time, I''d begun to understand things differently and my childhood ideas eventually lost their meaning. But my early rebellion against the main Catholic concepts, among which my academic education had taken place, had helped me develop a rather skeptic vision and a rational, critical thought towards all things religiously and spiritually related. And so, although I''d never expressed such thoughts out loud, and, like the good girl I was, had always fulfilled my part at school as required, the truth was my spiritual beliefs remained in an indefinite state.


    Still, I lacked the courage to tell any of that to the nice old lady who had kindly offered me shelter form the rain. And so I walked up to the left shelf and let my eyes wander uninterested over the various statues, wishing it would stop raining soon before I felt obliged to buy something from her. In truth I''d never been to a store like that, nor had I noticed its existence prior to that day, although I was sure I''d passed in front of it many times before.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    "Ah, in your destiny, there''s going to be a big change." Her voice put an end to my aimless wandering and I turned back to look at her. Her white hands held a deck of cards. Some had already been placed on the counter and her eyes were fixed attentively on them. I recognized the illustrations on the cards immediately, from a movie I''d seen. Those were tarot cards.


    "Hum, you don''t have to do that. I don''t really believe in that kind of thing," I uttered, anticipating she would want to charge me for the reading, but she raised her head, smiling kindly.


    "Don''t worry, child. It''s only a game to help pass the time," she said lightly and went back to the cards.


    I sighed and, seeing I couldn''t dissuade her, as a way to repay her kindness, walked up to the counter and decided to indulge her.


    "Your life was supposed to follow a certain path," she asserted, looking rather pleased to have my attention. "However, Human Beings are prone to these things. It''s not like they''re errors or mistakes. Let''s just call them unforeseen events." I remained silent, not knowing what to say, not even understanding what she meant, and her hands pulled out another card. "Hmm ... I see you have a special loved one in your life," she went on and my heart jumped painfully. Still I made myself look firm and unaffected. That was far from impressive, I thought critically. After all, what girl my age didn''t have one or two love interests? "Unfortunately your love is not corresponded," she added and I felt that sharp dagger stabbing my heart even deeper. Even so, I mused, and as hard as it was for me to admit it, that was also rather easy to guess. One would only have to take a look at me, at my completely uninteresting and plain image, to figure that out. "This is something very painful for you. And it''s this suffering that creates the distortion that pulls you away from your initial and predestined path," she continued, now with a sympathetic tone. She peered at me over her glasses with a worried expression and I wished with all my might that my expression would remain neutral. The woman sighed and turned another card. "Ah! Just as I thought!" she confirmed with new light dancing in the depths of her dark eyes, almost as if she''d been expecting what she now supposedly saw. "Right now the path before you is divided in two. One is straight, easy to follow, but dark. The other is devious, promising as much pain as happiness, but filled with light. On this dark path your true love will never come to pass," she said, looking at another card and turning over the last one. "On the path of light, your life will be filled with new things, and among these things your love will be returned, the true love that you are destined to live."


    By the time she fell silent I was completely immersed in her story, the same way I got when reading a fantasy book about some distant heroine. And, of course, I wanted to know more.


    "Two paths?" I asked leading her on, and she raised her head smiling kindly.


    "Yes, child. Human Beings always have the right to choose their way," she explained. "In our lives there are small, almost insignificant choices, like the clothes we decide to wear, or what we eat for lunch. But there are also the big choices. And those have the ability and strength to change one''s life completely, in a single second. And not only that person''s life, but also the lives of those around us."


    "Choices like a marriage, or a divorce," I exemplified and she nodded approvingly.


    "Yes. And the choice standing before you, right now, is something with that potency ... Maybe even more." I smiled softly, unable to dislike her, and brought myself back to reality. She wasn''t telling me some fantastic story. She was talking about me. And something like that was simply impossible.


    "Well, I''m sorry but I really don''t think so. My life is rather simple and dull. And since I''m still a student, I''m guaranteed with at least two more years of this same exact routine," I argued. She smiled again, this time with a condescending look; one of those that tells you that we, young people, still have a lot to learn. Turning around, she went to the bookshelf behind her and came back with a heavy-looking book.


    "Here you go," she declared, placing the large volume on the counter. Although smaller than the standard size, it was bigger than most of my books, and certainly thicker. On the brown leather cover one could read in shiny silver letters, Magic Spells and Enchantments.


    I smiled wryly, not knowing how to refuse it. Things like that made even less sense than the spiritual philosophies of the Catholic Church. Besides, it looked like a rather old, secondhand book. And I feared it would be some antique, which meant I would probably be unable to pay for it.


    "In this book you''ll find all you need to make your choice," she announced. "The one that will take you down one path or the other." I took a step back, avoiding even touching it.


    "You know ... it''s like I''ve said before," I began trying to sound as nice as possible. "It''s not really my thing. Besides, I don''t have that much money on me."


    "It''s a gift!" the woman stated, invalidating my best argument. "To tell you the truth, it''s not even for sale. You see, this book belonged to me at one time," she said, caressing the leather cover with a nostalgic expression. "It served me well during this life. I brought it here, together with many others, in hopes of finding them new owners. They''re not something I can simply put a price tag on. To me, they''re priceless," she stated, and I couldn''t help feeling touched by the woman''s love for her books, independently of their strange titles.


    "More the reason. If it''s so important to you, how can I simply accept it? For starters, why have you decided to give it away?" I asked with genuine curiosity. For me it was simply unthinkable, giving my precious books away just like that, to some stranger.


    "Because, child, books are like Human Beings. They all have their mission. And these books'' mission by my side has already been fulfilled. The same way I''ll leave this world once my mission in this life has been completed to return to it once again with a new mission, these books also need to be reborn next to those who now need them. And, this book in particular, has a task to fulfill by your side." I looked at the book on the counter and took a deep breath. I didn''t really want to keep it, but she cut short my argumentative thoughts. "Please take care of it. It was a good friend to me." With a resigned sigh I picked it up and held it against my chest.


    "Thank you. I promise I''ll take good care of it," I assured her. The joy in her lightly wrinkled face made me feel pleased with myself. Making others happy always made me feel the same way, and I promised myself I''d really take care of that lady''s treasure, although I would probably never read a single page. "Oh, and how much do I owe you for the reading?" I asked, wishing I could somehow repay her kindness and time. She placed her pale hand on my arm, stopping me from reaching for my wallet.


    "You owe me nothing, child. The reading is part of my mission," she replied with her persisting smile as I rummaged my brain for a way to object. "Ah, look. The rain has stopped," she pointed out, looking over my shoulder towards the window, and I followed her gaze.


    "Yes, at least for now."


    "You should go, then. Before it starts again."


    I looked at her, aware of her strategy to end the subject, but still couldn''t feel right taking something without giving something else in return. Still the honesty in her eyes left me without arguments, and I instinctively knew I''d probably never be able convince her otherwise. Above all I didn''t want to end up offending her goodwill.


    "I thank you, once more, for your time. It was a really pleasant talk. And I don''t know how to thank you for your gift." I looked for the right words and she nodded, pleased with my honest acceptance.


    "You''re quite welcome, child. I wish you luck and, above all, courage!" I smiled, since she had said the same exact thing as Steph, and walked towards the door.


    "Thank you once more. And have a nice day."


    "Be at peace, child, be at peace," she answered as I opened the door. The small bell rang once again to announce my departure, and the cold wind made me shiver.


    I hugged the heavy volume under my coat to protect it from the weather and walked back to Trafalgar Square. There was no time to go to any of the bookshops I had planned. And yet, not knowing exactly why or how, I had just acquired a new book.

 Chapter 1 - Part 5

    Part 5


    As expected, the house was empty when I returned home. And so I went to the kitchen and started on the steaks my mom had seasoned and left out for dinner. While the rice cooked I took a quick shower and put on my old bears pajamas, something I had since I was twelve and that still fit me perfectly. I dried my hair so it wouldn¡¯t turn out even more disheveled than it already was, and went down once more to grill the meat. I ate too aware of the time and the homework I still had to do, and saved Rachel¡¯s dinner in the oven, so she could have it when she returned.


    Before going up to my room, I passed by the living room to grab my things and dropped them on my desk before practically fainting on the bed.


    We¡¯d walked the whole afternoon and my feet throbbed painfully. Besides, it had been a long day and I felt really tired.


    Classes, the thing with Michael, the strange woman and her even stranger reading, the heavy book I had been forced to carry around all afternoon, the stores we had visited and that, by the end of the day, had been packed with people, the constant dressing and undressing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wondered if I still had enough energy to study.


    My eyes found the old book under the bag with the only jersey I¡¯d ended up buying. I¡¯d promised to take good care of it, which meant finding it a place in one of my overcrowded bookshelves. With a sigh I stood up once more and picked it up, feeling how soft its leather cover was, and ended up sitting on my bed with it resting on my legs. The engraved title glistened lightly under the lamp light and I couldn¡¯t help notice that, even though its letters had looked silvery in the store, now they were more of a metallic red. The title, Magic Spells and Enchantments, made me smile.


    It sounded more like one of those children¡¯s book, filled with fairy tales, and so I opened it carefully to take a closer look. As expected from such an old volume, the pages were yellowish and some of the corners had crumbled from old age. All the pages had a silver frame and the letters inside it were similar to the ones in the cover, almost as if they¡¯d been handwritten. To my surprise, as I flipped through it, I noticed that unlike a tales¡¯ book or even a romance, its structure reminded me more of a cooking book, filled with recipes carefully organized by chapters. I looked for the index, which was also divided in three sections, and read it out loud.


    ¡°Magic Spells - of Friendship, of Love, of Communication, to Heal, of Prosperity, of Protection, of Purification, of Spiritual Evolution, to Bless, to Cast Away, to Cause Pain, to Be Successful, to Cause Failure, to Bind, Spells and Curses. Enchantments - of Animals, of Elementals, of Spirits, of Minerals, of Objects, of People, of Plants. Magic Circles of Protection, Seals and Talismans ¡­¡±


    I could almost laugh, or I knew I should probably be laughing. But since I was alone there was no need for me to act accordingly and so I simply caressed the shiny letters. It really sounded like something out of some fantasy movie. How could someone living in the twenty-first century believe in things like that?


    Still my eyes stopped over a page number written in roman characters and my hands flipped through the yellow pages once again. On the top of the page, in letters that ended in delicate swirls, was written - ¡®Love Spells.¡¯


    Smiling in what I knew would be a perfect expression of amusement, I went through the next pages reading the titles of the magic recipes that filled the chapter.


    ¡®To attract a rich husband (or wife),¡¯ ¡®To make sure of fidelity,¡¯ ¡®To attract a new love,¡¯ ¡®To avoid jealousy,¡¯ ¡®To enjoy a satisfying sexual life,¡¯ ¡®To protect lovers,¡¯ ¡®To attract a predestined love ¡­¡¯


    My eyes stopped on that page, refusing to read more than the title. What the old woman had told me replayed in my mind. She had also spoken of a predestined love.


    I shook my head, criticizing myself for half taking something as nonsensical as that seriously and, using curiosity as an excuse, read through the recipe.


    To my surprise it wasn¡¯t all that hard to follow. I¡¯d expected the recipes in that thick book to be virtually impossible to comply with, meaning its results were impossible to verify. The process, however, simply included some rhymes to be said out loud, a candle that had to be lit, a drop of blood that had to be shed and, of course, a bunch of steps that needed to be followed.


    I sighed. If only things would be that easy, people like me would never have to go through the shame and pain I had endured that morning.


    The first thing written on that recipe was ¡®It¡¯s advised to raise a Circle of Protection. See page cccxxiii.¡¯


    I flipped through the pages once more, careful not to lose my love spell, and quickly read over the requirements to fulfill that second task. Once more it all sounded rather easy. According to the recipe, a Circle of Protection had to be drawn in white or with salt. In the center, with its main point pointing north, a pentagram should be included. The book even had some illustrations to help better understand the procedures.


    Thinking it would probably be fun, and not wanting to admit that a small part of me really wished it would actually work, I stood up, leaving the book on the bed, and ran downstairs. I quickly put together the necessary ingredients, including a small flask of sea salt my mother liked to use on her cooking, a candle from the light failure prevention cupboard, a small kitchen knife and a glass filled with water. I went back up to my room and added my potted plant to the rest of my magical ingredients.


    I stopped for a moment, looking at all those things lying before my feet and asked myself what in the hell was I doing. But my eyes flew to the book and I shrugged. What could happen anyway? Those were all myths and legends. As real as God descending from above to bless the Host during Mass.


    I opened one of my desk drawers and looked for a compass. Marking the cardinal points on the floor, I grabbed a handful of sea salt and drew a perfect circle to the best of my abilities ¡ª starting east and going clockwise as the book instructed. Inside it I drew a pentagram, and then another circle on the outside. Next I copied the strange symbols as shown on the book, drawing them in the space between the two concentric circles, this time counter clockwise, one at top of each of the pentagram¡¯s vertices. Once that was done I placed the book and the rest of the objects I¡¯d gathered beside me and lit the candle. Taking my shoes off, I took a deep breath and stepped into the circle, careful not to ruin any of my drawings. Peering towards the book, I read the magic words out loud:


    ¡°The Circle has no beginning and no end; it is in eternal balance. This is a time beyond time. This is a space beyond space. Here the Dream World and the Waking World meet and are one together. So may it be.¡±


    Following the book¡¯s instructions, I picked up the glass with water and gave three steps towards west, starting to read the greetings and evocation of the Guardians of the West.


    ¡°Greeting oh Guardian of the West, of the Element of Water, source of Life. Fresh and crystalline may thy waters be, and that they may extend from the secrete depths all the way to the surface where the sun shines. Blessed be the Spirits of Water that dive in thy currents. So may it be.¡± I recited out loud and, kneeling carefully so I wouldn¡¯t ruin the pentagram, placed the water glass on the west. As the ritual described I placed both hands over my chest and went on reading. ¡°I float above the Waters, the Eternal Waters of the World. As I pass by stormy clouds gather and rain falls in the Deep. Waves rise washing my naked skin. Cold and afraid, in clear and bitter, gray and green waters I sink. All fluids and elixirs of life abandon me, flowing out through my pores. I reach the shore, cold and shaking, and dried inside.¡±


    I picked up the candle, careful so its flame wouldn¡¯t go out, and gave three steps towards south.


    ¡°Greetings oh Guardian of the South, of the Element of Fire, of Death and Renewal. Hot and blazing may thy embers be, that they may burn through time in search of eternity. Blessed be the Spirits of Fire that dance in thy flames. So may it be.¡± Kneeling down again I placed the candle on the floor, taking both hands to my chest, and went on. ¡°I walk through a plain of smoke surrounded by screams of anguish and pain. Flames burn furiously, their heat melting my skin. There is no more water, I cannot cry. My flesh melts in agony and pleasure. Nothing remains but bone and dust of ash.¡±


    Standing up again I took three steps towards East. As the book said, and since air was everywhere, I simply blew, as if putting out a candle, and carefully read the words of the next evocation.


    ¡°Greetings oh Guardian of the East, of the Element of Air, of Direction and New Beginnings. Soft and gentle may thy winds be, that they may see far and come from afar. Blessed be the Spirits of Air that fly on thy wings. So may it be.¡± Kneeling for the third time, I placed my hands over my chest, and read the next set of strange words. ¡°I stand at the edge of a precipice, the wind wraps me in its lament. I¡¯m weightless, no more than bone, and the wind pierces my chest in a moan. A bit more and I fall apart. Bone clashing against bone, slowly turning to dust, echoing my suffering.¡±Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    Standing up yet again I grabbed a handful of dirt from my potted plant and took three steps towards north, opening my hand with my dirty palm turned up.


    ¡°Greetings oh Guardian of the North, of the Element of Earth and of the Constant Movements. That welcoming may thy bosom be, that it may bring rest and safety to the traveler of worlds. Blessed be the Spirits of Earth that inhabit thy depths. So may it be.¡± Kneeling down I placed my handful of dirt on the floor and placed my hands over my chest. ¡°I walk towards the darkness and in it lose all notion of solidity. I am not blood, I am not flesh, I am not bone. I am merely intuition, consciousness and will. Around me I hear mountains raise and stones fall. I would recoil in search of protection but I no longer have a body in need of protection. I am simply pure Soul, white light amongst the darkness of the universe.¡±


    I stood up again and, always facing north and the head of my pentagram, gave five small steps backwards so I wouldn¡¯t step out of the Circle. Kneeling again, I flipped through the book back to my love spell.


    The Circle where I stood was supposed to have the ability to protect me from the outside negative energies, and intensify my own inner energy, or so the book said. I placed the kitchen knife next to me and took a deep breath. The book also said something about how to clean and consecrate the knife, but I jumped over that part. The purification process would take several days, including nights under the moonlight and some special herbs. I quickly read over the spell once again, making sure I had everything I needed, and focused on reading the supposedly magic words:


    ¡°Yog-Sothoth, Master of Dimensions, through you I now enter the World of Magic. To you, the one without face or features, I ask to guide me through the night of your creation, so that I may contemplate the Bonds that unite the Angels and the promise of the fulfillment of my will.¡± Unconsciously my voice became lower, no more than a monotonous murmur that seemed to echo all around me, as if at some point I wasn¡¯t the one speaking anymore, and someone else was echoing my words from afar. Still my eyes kept reading line after line, my mind completely empty, except from those nonsensically words. Reading the text that, in a different color, instructed what I had to do next, I held my kitchen knife and pressed the point against my index finger, wincing when the blade broke my skin. I squeezed my finger until a droplet of blood was formed and went back to the book for some more reading.


    ¡°With no blood, with no flesh, with no bones, hear the voice of my Soul. That this bridge, between my life and my being may echo my will, so that it may be heard and fulfilled,¡± I claimed and frowned as I tried to decipher what had been written next. Inside the pentagram I drew the symbol of the infinite with my bloodied finger and tried to read the next phrase without biting my tongue. ¡°I¡¯a k¡¯nark ... Ishanyx ... kyr¡¯w ... qu¡¯ra ... cylth ... drehm¡¯n ... El-ak.¡±


    The moment I pronounced the last syllable, the five symbols I had drawn in between the two circles came alight, shining incandescently. As I looked completely stunned at what was happening right before my eyes, they exploded, throwing sea salt everywhere, almost as if the light had been too intense to be contained within the symbols. A windstorm broke all over the room, as if someone had opened the windows to allow a cyclone in. I heard the book pages rustle as they were thrown from one side to another and the sound of the candle holder as it fell. Trying to make sense of what was happening, I shielded my eyes with one hand and looked towards the window that, to my disbelief, was still firmly shut. The strong wind destroyed the rest of the Circle and blew away all the papers on my desk. The bag with the new jersey Steph had practically forced me to buy fell on the floor. The roar all around was so strong I thought I would go deaf, which meant it was no use screaming for help. And the speed of the furious whirlwind surrounding me made it difficult to breathe. Above all, I was so shocked with what I was seeing I couldn¡¯t even think.


    I raised my gaze to the origin of the windstorm and blinked twice to make sure of what was ... or wasn¡¯t happening. Floating right in front of my eyes, suspended in midair, at the center of what used to be a pentagram, was a black mass of nothingness. No color, no sound, no air. The nothingness was pure darkness spitting out that furious vortex of wind.


    I couldn¡¯t move, nor speak or even blink. I briefly thought I had to be dreaming, that somehow I had fallen asleep along the way and hadn¡¯t even noticed it.


    The nothingness that had been dark and round began to slowly stretch, and I asked myself if it would end up swallowing the whole room, and me with it! But then it suddenly stopped growing and the wind finally subsided, until everything was silent again. With my heart pounding I stared up at the nothingness that hadn¡¯t disappeared and couldn¡¯t help thinking that it almost looked like some kind of egg. In the silence my irregular breath became suddenly quite audible and, unable to think about any of the possible consequences, I raised my right hand, which wouldn¡¯t stop shaking, to touch it. That thing looked hard, but at the same time almost liquid. It looked soft and malleable. On the other hand, its shape was perfectly geometrical. But the instant I touched it a shrill shriek echoed through my room making me cover both ears. The dark egg exploded with that screeching sound and what stood in its place was even more terrifying.


    I dragged myself across the floor, pulling away without even thinking, moving on pure instinct, until I hit the wall. Even then I tried to get farther away, as if I could drill a hole somewhere and simply run away. My crazed eyes didn¡¯t know where or what to look at. The only thing I could hear was my own breath, assuring me that I was still alive. The horror froze me inside, making me shiver uncontrollably, and erased all rational thoughts from my mind.


    I suddenly saw arms and hands holding legs covered in black; a cascade of long black hair falling over bent knees pulled against a white chest. The skin I could see was inhumanely white. And worst of all, I saw dark glossy wings embracing a body protectively.


    This was no dream! It was a nightmare from which I wished I could wake up as soon as possible!


    But I didn¡¯t wake up. And, as my eyes, that I couldn¡¯t for the life of me, close, began to burn, the horror that completely ruled over me threatened to stop my heart. Unable to move and utterly terrified, I watched as the inhuman figure slowly came to life. The arm around its knees fell to its side and the legs began to stretch, even though it still floated in midair. The black tunic it wore, looking more like a piece of satin wrapped around its lean body, floated down with a gentle murmur, shocking vividly with the raging panic inside me.


    It raised its head and I wanted to scream, run, cry ... anything ... but I simply sat there, trembling and powerless. I saw flashes of its face, but my eyes wouldn¡¯t stop wandering around in sheer terror. And then its wings opened, like dark shadows ready to devour the entire world, and that deafening roar came back. I think I screamed. I must have. I remember closing my eyes tightly and thinking I would probably never open them again. The silence that followed convinced me I¡¯d been right and that my life was over, and I silently gave thanks that at least it had been painless.


    The sound of footsteps over broken glass startled me and the fear that momentarily had left me came back to strangle my chest. Dreading what I was about to see, wishing I wouldn¡¯t be able to do it, I opened my eyes to a scene of complete devastation.


    My desk had been shattered in hundreds of small wooden pieces; my books were all over the floor, some lying opened, many torn, their white pages dancing lazily by the cold wind coming from the window. The window! Sure, it was still closed, but the glass was shattered into tiny bits that glittered among the broken wood and torn pages.


    A shadow leaned over me and, panicking, I recalled what I¡¯d tried so hard to forget. Why hadn¡¯t I simply fainted? Maybe I¡¯d have woken up the next day, cursing the irritating sound of the alarm clock, like any other day.


    Unable to avoid it and wishing I didn¡¯t have to, I turned my head, my stiff neck hurting, and looked at it ... at him. His face was as close to mine as Michael¡¯s had been, the day before, but still I couldn¡¯t see him. Without thinking I opened my mouth and took a deep breath ready to scream, but a cold hand with long fingers silenced me, almost suffocating me to death.


    ¡°Hush ... Since you¡¯re going to die anyway, why not do it quietly?¡± he asked me in a low voice. I don¡¯t know which startled me the most ¡ª that he could talk, that I could understand him or that his voice sounded as deep and soft as velvet. My eyes finally stopped wandering aimlessly and stared back at him. His eyes were frighteningly unreal, glowing hypnotically in a violet color sparkled with red. ¡°Hmm ... and to think that a small Human child, with no Magic whatsoever, would be able to release me from that Seal,¡± he mused sarcastically. I couldn¡¯t help thinking that even with those words, his voice was unearthly beautiful. ¡°Nothing personal, Human. To tell you the truth, I¡¯m even thankful. And I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m not the kind of being that can be evoked to fulfill your pathetic wishes. Just think of it as ... bad luck,¡± he added, sounding bleakly amused, and his eyes stretched out telling me that he¡¯d probably smiled. ¡°Your Soul belongs to me now,¡± he told me as he placed his other hand over my chest, crushing me against the wall. Pain shot through my ribs and I was sure they were about to break. I tried to cough but could hardly breathe, and my sight became blurry as I felt hot tears sliding down my cheeks.


    Suddenly, and to my surprise, his hands were pulled away and I could finally cough while gasping for air. I pressed the ribs that hurt and winced as my lungs burned.


    ¡°You!¡± His incredulous tone of accusation made me look up. He was holding his hand against his chest, as if he¡¯d hurt himself, and my gaze wandered aimlessly again as terror ate at me from within. I think I saw him smile and a terrifying expression transformed his marble-like face. He kept his wings closed against his body and my stomach cramped, threatening to throw up my dinner. And then he was holding me again, this time squeezing my neck, and I was sure that I¡¯d just taken my last breath. ¡°Change of plans!¡± he informed me and once again I became a prisoner of his crimson gaze. ¡°I will establish a Contract with you. I will fulfill your pathetic wish. And, in return, your virginity is mine.¡±


    My mind went completely blank and everything around me went deadly silent. I knew he was still speaking with that cold persistent smile on his lips, but I could no longer hear him. All tension left my body and I forgot to check if I was still breathing, if my heart still beat, if I remained among the living.


    I followed his movements as he held my right hand and then leaned over my wrist, softly pressing his lips against my skin. I screamed and new tears slid down my face, but I wasn¡¯t able to even hear my own voice anymore. I knew I should have felt pain but didn¡¯t. That body was mine but wasn¡¯t. And, when he finally stopped talking, as if that had been the authorization my mind had been waiting for, I closed my eyes and gladly welcomed the cold silent darkness that finally enveloped me.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 2 - Part 1

    Chapter 2


    RII


    ¨C Disruption of the Aeon of Osiris. 1 ¨C


    "I doubt myself and all my senses. I doubt the touch that feels his skin.


    I doubt the smell that captures his scent. I doubt the taste that savors the air around him.


    I doubt my hearing that listens to his melodic voice.


    Finally I doubt even my sight that contemplates his fascinating figure.


    I want to believe these are all illusions but the reality around me is


    undeniable and I can''t stop feeling him everywhere, and at all times."


    Part 1


    The alarm clock rang and I took a deep breath, wishing I could simply ignore that annoying noise. I remembered I had to press a button to make it go away and stretched an arm, shivering at the cold outside my warm bed. As soon as silence returned, my arm fell limp and I refused to think if I had to get up for school or not. For the first time in days I''d had a peaceful night, free from dreams that could only be called erotic, and I couldn''t help sighing in relief, thinking I''d finally managed to go back to normal.


    Suddenly, the events of the previous night came tumbling back into my mind and I was wide awake, sitting on my bed. I looked around, recalling that picture of pure devastation, and was dumbfounded for a moment, since everything looked normal.


    I felt at a complete loss. My ribs still hurt, due to my thoughtless sudden movement, and I got up pressuring them unconsciously. The muscles of my legs ached as well, as if I''d just run the marathon. But everything else was exactly the same, like always.


    My furniture was intact and in its rightful places. The window glass in one piece, the books arranged on the shelves. The bag with my new jersey on my desk and, beside it, my handbag and the book the nice lady had given me. A shiver went down my spine as I looked at the floor still half panicking. But there was no Circle, no pentagram, no salt. No traces of candle wax, much less candles. No spilled glasses of water and my potted plant was where it belonged to, near the window.


    I slid a shaking hand over my face and took a deep breath. Had it all been a dream? Of course, I assured myself. The pain I felt was neither from hitting against walls nor from being tense for far too long. My physical condition had probably been worse than I''d thought and my muscles resented a whole afternoon of shopping from store to store.


    I smiled, making fun of myself. I''d allowed that old woman''s tale to affect me so much that I''d ended up having such a strange dream. And I tried to stop my hands from shaking.


    "Mari? Are you awake?" My mother''s voice, coming from the ground floor, offered me a new sense of safety; her existence almost like proof enough that I was back to reality.


    "Yes! I''ll be down in one minute!" I answered and jumped out of bed. My legs shook lightly and I forced my muscles to contract and obey.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    When I took off my pajamas, something burned on my hand, but I paid it no attention. I only really noticed it when, in the bathroom, I rolled up the sleeves to wash my face.


    My heart stopped for a split second and then jumped into a frenzy. The bathroom spun around me and my legs threatened to give in under my own weight. I leaned against the sink, taking a deep breath, and faced my own pale refection as I tried to calm down. When I managed to recover some measure of balance and was sure I wouldn''t simply drop to my knees, I raised my right hand and turned it slowly. There, over my wrist, a strange symbol had been marked in bright red on my skin, almost as if it had been branded with a hot iron. My stomach lurched and I leaned against the sink again. Had it all been real? Impossible! I countered immediately trying to keep some hint of coherence. My room ... I recalled seeing it completely destroyed and now there wasn''t the slightest trace of anything like that. But I also remembered seeing ... him, holding my hand and kissing me on that same exact spot. But how could it be?


    I shook my head, putting my thoughts in order, and decided it had all been a nightmare. I nodded confidently. That mark ... it was nothing but a strange burn, I justified. Something I''d probably done last night while cooking dinner and hadn''t even noticed until then. I was only seeing symbols because I was looking for them. Surely neither Rachel nor Steph would see anything even remotely like that, should I show it to them. The thought alone was enough to leave me frozen in place. With nervous hands, I opened one of the bathroom cabins, knocking down small flasks and cream tubes until I found what I was looking for. With clumsy gestures, due to the sudden panic that now filled me once again, I hurriedly wrapped the white bandage around my wrist. Once that was over I took a deep breath and stupidly felt as if I''d rid myself of the only proof able to deny my theory about last night''s events.


    "Mari! You''re going to be late!" Rachel''s voice called me back to reality and I washed my face and combed my hair in record time.


    I went down the stairs practically running and when I reached the kitchen she was already on her way out.


    "Good morning," I said, catching her before she left and kissed her cheek. She looked at me for a moment and then smiled.


    "Good morning, sleepyhead. How was yesterday?" she asked, obviously curious, and I immediately erased all the less fortunate events from my head.


    "Oh, it was good. I tried on lots of clothes and ended up buying a new jersey," I reported with a smile and she nodded looking pleased.


    "But you must have come back tired. You went to bed so early," she noted in a complaining tone. I was sure she''d hoped to find me awake so I could tell her all the news in detail.


    "I''m sorry. But we walked all afternoon. My legs still ache."


    "Uh, you''re lacking exercise, young lady!" she criticized. "And by the way, thanks for dinner. Today I''ll be back earlier. And you''ll have to tell me everything!" she added, looking down at her wristwatch. "I have to go."


    "See you later," I told her and Rachel kissed me on the forehead.


    "Have a nice day, dear," she wished me and practically ran to the door.


    I took a deep breath and allowed my fake smile to wither away. I looked at the toast that awaited me and didn''t think I''d be able to stomach it. For a moment I managed forgotten the reason behind that indisposition and decided I wouldn''t think about it any longer. Besides, my time was running short, and so I put together all my things and left the house.


    I kept my mind in complete silence as I walked to school. The sky seemed clearer than the day before, suggesting it might not rain. The air, on the other hand, was still cold, but there was almost no wind at all, which made it easier to endure the low temperature.


    This would be a day like any other, I decided. I''d have Philosophy first period and then History. Next I''d have lunch in the cafeteria with everyone else, like usual. The subject of conversation would most likely be the afternoon we had spent together. I''d leave them earlier to spend some minutes of pure bliss, watching my love from afar, and this time I''d make sure he didn''t notice my presence. Then I''d go to the library and start on my homework while waiting for Steph and Joanne, who would still had one more class, so that we could return home together.


    Establishing an order of events left me much calmer and I was feeling quite pleased with myself by the time I finally reached the school gates.

 Chapter 2 - Part 2

    Part 2


    "So, it''s in this kind of place you spend most of your time."


    That voice paralyzed me instantly and my arms forgot the things they were supposed to be holding. From afar, I heard my books falling, and the ground escaped from under my feet. My heart was beating desperately, leaving me deaf, my breath uneven. My legs shook and I was certain they would end up giving in.


    Slowly, I turned my head towards the voice even though I kept assuring myself I couldn''t have heard it, and froze completely, suddenly empty of all arguments that might help me deny it.


    There he was, calmly sitting on one of the lowest tree branches, right beside me. He leaned slightly towards me, his long hair spilling silently over his shoulders, his gaze fixed on me. A soft smile of amusement touched his thin lips and I couldn''t help thinking that a bit more and his immaculately perfect, porcelain-like skin would end up cracking.


    "Mari! What are you doing here? You''ll be late!" I heard Steph''s voice and, although I wished I could run away, or at least tell her to do so, I couldn''t move a single strand of hair. I felt a warm hand holding my arm and the sharp fear I felt made me dizzy when he turned his gaze towards Steph. "You OK? Feeling sick?" she asked me, sounding worried, and I couldn''t help stop breathing when she raised her head trying to see what I was looking at. He laughed and the sound of his laughter was deep, almost warm, even though his eyes had become even sharper, colder and crueler.


    "No need to worry," he said. "You''ll end up giving yourself a stroke, which would be a waste, after I decided to spare your life. Wouldn''t you agree?" I had no voice to respond. In truth, his voice simply ran through my central nervous system and I wasn''t even aware of what his words meant at first. "She can''t see me. And I believe it would be best to answer her before she calls on someone to help you." That sarcasm again.


    "Mari!" I forced myself to look away from the tree, swearing I would never look at it again, and faced Steph, who was trying to shake me out from my stupor.


    "I''m OK, Steph," I replied, but my voice sounded as unreal as a robot''s voice from some cheap science fiction movie.


    "Like hell you''re OK! You''re as white as a piece of paper! And you''re shaking! Did anything happen?" she asked, looking at the tree once again, and I shook my head wishing she would stop doing that.


    "I''m just tired. I didn''t sleep all that well. And I probably caught a bug or something," I lied and bent down to grab my books. Steph helped me gather my things and took a deep breath, glad that I''d returned to my usual self.


    "You were just standing here, looking at that tree."


    "I thought I saw a cat. But it was nothing," I replied without thinking and his chuckle froze me again, my body too tense.


    "You sure you''re OK? If you''re not feeling right, maybe you should go home. Or at least go to the infirmary and get some rest," she suggested, genuinely worried, but I refused her advice once again.


    "It''s nothing. Let''s go. We''re already late." I tried as hard as I could to change the subject, and sighed in relief when I succeeded.


    We ran inside, as I forced myself to only look forward and not turn back to see if he was still there or if I''d been delusional. We climbed the stairs as fast as we could and entered the classroom with a river of apologies for our tardiness.


    I sat at my desk and opened the notebook so it would look like I was paying attention, but my mind stared blankly at the empty lines. My wrist burned and I closed my hands in two tight fists demanding some measure of control over my own mind.


    There was no escaping, I thought. Either I was going crazy or that creature really existed ... in the same world as Rachel, Steph, Michael and everyone else.


    I refused the torrent of questions that flooded my brain, filling my head with hows and whys, and took a deep breath just to make sure I still maintained control over myself.


    If I was going crazy, well, there wasn''t much I could do about it. But on the other hand, if he was real, what should I do? The question echoed inside me without a proper answer and panic began taking over again.


    I told myself I had to be able to think straight and made myself recall everything that had happened the day before. The strange store, the old woman, the book. Nothing special about any of that. Sure the old book had a strange title, but still, it was only a book.


    I''d picked it up thinking about putting it away and, instead, had opened it.


    I bit my lower lip.


    Why in hell had I opened that thing when I''d practically swore to never read it?


    But the real problem was in what I''d idiotically decided to do next. I''d allowed myself to believe in this childish idea that all my problems could be solved with a simple Magical Spell. I''d allowed my pain, brought upon by Michael''s indifference, to speak louder than my better judgment.


    I dropped my head on my arms, feeling too tired, and sighed deeply. In flashes I recalled parts of that ritual ¡ª The Circle, The Guardians and those strange words.


    My heart jumped. Those words! Now that I thought about it, I remembered that the spell hadn''t even been finished. There had been a few more lines left to read. And, according to what was written on the chapter about Protection Circles, once a ritual was over the Circle had to be undone. I''d never even arrived to that part. The windstorm had interrupted me and destroyed everything. With a strange irony, I couldn''t help thinking that the symbols I''d so carefully written with salt hadn''t done much in terms of protecting me.


    I remembered the nothingness that had become something, and then ... him!


    Had he said something about me being able to break a Seal? Could he have been speaking about the Seal that had kept him away? And if so, did that mean I was the one who had set that ... thing free?


    If I had set him free, maybe there was a way to send him back again, or lock him away, or whatever. All I had to do was rebuild that Seal. Maybe I could search for an answer in the library or on the internet. Maybe I''d find something that could help me, I told myself, too aware that I was simply trying to keep my wits about me and trying to avoid complete despair.


    And then? He had decided to kill me. And I clearly remembered thinking I would certainly die. For a moment I recalled his expression of surprise as he held his hand protectively. Change of plans, he''d told me. I couldn''t understand why, but decided to leave it at that, since I already had too much to think about. He''d also told me something about a Contract. He''d fulfill my wish and I ... I ...


    I stood up with a jump and the chair fell backwards with a loud bang. I couldn''t breathe and suddenly sensed a wave of anger I didn''t know I could feel burn the depths of my stomach.


    What the hell was that?! Who did he think he was to decide on something like that?


    "Miss Mariane Mellis! Is there something wrong?"


    I raised my head, remembering where I was, and the anger that had heated the blood in my veins went icy cold just as fast. My cheeks blushed, since I''d become the center of everyone''s attention, and I tried as hard as I could to find something smart to say. To my relief the sound of the bell filled the air and everyone started dragging chairs while the teacher shouted his last instructions about a homework assignment.


    With a sigh I gathered my things. Maybe if I could simply ignore him, I wondered, although I had little faith that this last plan would work. He didn''t look like something that would eventually get tired and go away if I pretended not to see him. Quite the opposite. He looked more like he would probably do something terrible if I were to anger him.


    I found Steph near Joanne and we went together to our next class.


    I tried as hard as I could to listen to what was being taught. I didn''t want to be questioned by the teacher and find myself unable to answer. Something like that would make my friends worry and, regardless of my problem having a solution or not, this was still my problem. I''d been the one to create it and I''d have to, somehow, deal with it.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    When the bell rang again I''d started to feel like myself once again, with a certain measure of courage burning inside my chest, for which I felt particularly proud. What was the worst that could happen anyway? Well, he could probably decide he wanted my Soul after all.


    We went down to the cafeteria, talking about our plans for the weekend. Steph had been invited to go to the movies by some guy from the arts department, but she still hadn''t given him an answer. Joanne was trying to convince her to go. We were almost at the cafeteria''s door when I made my decision. Steph also stopped, noticing I wasn''t following them anymore, and turned back closing the distance between us.


    "Mari? What''s wrong?" she asked, again in that worried tone, watching me closely and I faced her greenish eyes which seemed to surprise her.


    "There''s something I have to do."


    "Something? But ... right now?" she insisted and I nodded. She stood quiet for a moment, as if studying me or trying to guess what was making me act so strangely, and a smile lit her face as her eyes grew bigger. "Are you going to talk with him?" she asked in a soft murmur, even though it was obvious she was excited by the idea. I stared blankly at her for a moment, trying to make sense of what she''d meant. Right then my mind was so set on what I''d decided that it was hard to think of anything else.


    "Oh," I whispered as I understood who the him was and a sharp pain drove into my chest. Yes, it had all been because of him, all because I''d been stupid and weak, and had tried to cheat. And yet, even now, all I had to do was call forth his image in my mind and a warm feeling washed over me, making me feel foolishly happy. "Yes," I answered, aware I was deceiving her but at least not lying.


    "Oh, but that''s great!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly. "But you should eat something first, you know?" she added, always trying to take care of me, which gave me a warm feeling.


    "Don''t worry. I''ll eat afterwards, while you''re in class. Right now I simply wouldn''t be able to," I confessed and she placed a friendly hand on my shoulder.


    "OK then. See you at four?" I nodded and she kissed me on the cheek. "Good luck," she whispered and turned to go back. "Afterwards you''ll have to tell me everything!" she added over the noise coming from the cafeteria and went back to where Joanne kept her place in line.


    I watched them for moment as they talked together, easily belonging to a world where I had to try so hard to fit in, and then turned away and ran in the opposite direction, avoiding the groups of students making their way towards the cafeteria. I''d made up my mind and postponing it any longer would only make things harder. I ran up the stairs and down the corridor, and stopped when I opened a door to an empty classroom. I was certain that thinking too much about it would shatter my frail conviction, and so I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath.


    "Are you here?" I called out, but even so my voice sounded weak and frail, scratching my suddenly dry throat. "You''re here, aren''t you?" I insisted, as my courage quickly waned away, but nothing happened.


    The tension I''d unconsciously accumulated started to dissipate. Somewhere in my mind the thought that I was being foolish made me smile. I certainly sounded like a crazy person, talking to the empty chairs in an empty classroom.


    The deep sound of his chuckle froze my bones, sending my thoughts over a dark precipice. My stomach turned upside down and I knew I''d done the right thing by not eating. I clenched my teeth hard to stop them from clattering, since my whole body was trembling uncontrollably, and I knew that if I still wasn''t crazy, I was definitely half way there. For an instant the idea even sounded good. Everyone said that crazy people didn''t know they were crazy. And maybe I''d be able to face all these things fearlessly, free from the terror that threatened to swallow me whole.


    "Hmm. This is rather interesting. In a second you''re so terrified you can hardly speak. And next you''re standing here, calling me," I heard his voice in that cold but amused tone and forced myself to take a deep breath.


    Breathe ... stay calm ... think. The worst thing that can happen ... yes ... it''s he killing me. And not even that can be that bad. Nothing can be worse than this.


    Once more I managed to free myself from the panic that swallowed my thoughts and turned my head towards him, to face him as strongly as I could. His intense presence filled the air all around us in waves that promised to devour me, and I immediately fell back to my recently acquired technique of self-control ¡ª breathing slowly.


    Between rhythmic inspirations I noticed he stood on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall between two windows. Like all Human Beings, he had two legs, two arms and one head. His hair was completely black, falling straight and silky below his waist and over his forehead in rebellious strands. He kept his arms folded over his chest as if he was waiting for something, and the skin I could see, like his face, was so white it almost looked bluish. He looked young and his features were simply perfect, as if he were a statue carved from pure white marble. His lips were thin but colorless. In fact the only color in his face came from the eyes that looked at me; violet eyes that appeared almost crystal liquid. I recalled seeing red reflections in his eyes before, but either I''d imagined that due to my frightened state or it had simply disappeared.


    "So?" he asked with that same velvet voice, and I couldn''t help staring in disbelief at the way his lips moved. Irrationally I had almost come to believe they would never part as if they really belonged to some statue.


    Watching him speak had left me as perplexed as I would surely have been, had I seen Michelangelo''s David smile at me. "You called for me. Here I am."


    And yet he still hadn''t moved, I noticed, and was internally thankful for that. I was sure I''d be unable to keep my thoughts rational if he were to approach me. My ribs still hurt, reminding me of the overwhelming strength he had used to push me against the wall, justifying my fear of his proximity.


    "Are you really ... for real?" I asked, my voice no more than a whisper that I was certain he wouldn''t be able to hear. That was the key question; the one that would definitely cut off all my possible escape routes. And I wished he really hadn''t heard it allowing me to hold on to that last ray of hope.


    His purple eyes kept staring at me during those brief moments of silence while he went back to being that perfect statue. And then his lips distended into a terrifying smile, making me step back against the door, my hand flying for the knob as I readied myself to run away as fast as my trembling legs would carry me.


    "You think I''m some kind of hallucination?" he asked, slightly tilting his head. "Want me to prove just how real I am?"


    I shook my head vehemently, my hand squeezing the doorknob so tightly that my fingers hurt. I made myself breathe to regain some of my rationality and reminded myself that, hallucination or not, it was no use running away. Besides, I was the one who had called him there.


    "What are you?" I tried again and he laughed, startling me as usual.


    "Stupid questions," he spat in spite and turned his head towards the blackboard, as if it were much more interesting than me. "You don''t know? Or are you looking for a confirmation?"


    I kept silent. I was actually amazed at myself for being able to just stand there, in his presence, and I wondered how much more I could take before completely falling apart. I''d already exceeded my own limits and, in flashes of madness, I had started to wish he would simply kill me and put an end to that terrifying feeling of being hunted by a deadly monster, spawn from some unknown abyss.


    "Aren''t you going to ... kill me?" I managed to ask, part of me wishing he would say yes, and he looked at me through the corner of his eye, as if to avoid unnecessary movements.


    "Is that what you want?" he retorted. For an instant I dreaded to think he might have read my mind. I thought he might really do it and wanted to live! "If it is, I am really sorry. Sure, that was my initial idea. But, as I''ve told you, I changed plans."


    I felt heat spreading through my body as the shadow of the anger I''d felt during class returned, and released the doorknob, clenching my fists to gain courage.


    "This Contract, I won''t accept it!" I stated, raising my voice, and he looked surprised. "I ..." My voice cracked as the small courage I''d been able to gather slipped away like water between my fingers, and I forced myself to go on. "A Contract is invalid unless accepted by both parties ... and I ..."


    The red glow that took over his eyes silenced what was left of my voice. Against everything my crazed mind thought possible, a light frown marked his forehead.


    "Won''t accept!?" His voice, in that ice-cold whisper, was pure anger and I thought my heart would stop. However, in the next second, his expression went back to that of a renaissance statue and a brief smile touched his lips. "This is something you can''t refuse," he stated as if that was the conclusion he had reached in those brief seconds. "Your Soul is rightfully mine, which goes way beyond your insignificant life. You may not comprehend exactly what I''m saying within your limited human understanding. But everything about you belongs to me. In fact, accepting this Contract is the only way you have to save yourself. It''s the only way to limit my actions and make them bend to your will," he informed me and I tried as hard as I could to understand what he meant. "As you can see, I''m actually being nice," he added with a sarcasm that made me tremble. "Besides, wasn''t it to see your pathetic wish fulfilled that you went through with the ritual?"


    Yes, that was something quite clear to me. The origin of that huge mess had been none other than my egoistical wish.


    "You mean that ... if I don''t accept ..."


    "If you refuse I''ll claim my rights over what''s mine right away," he confirmed calmly as a shiver ran down my spine. "Your eternity will belong to me. And you''ll cease to exist in all times, all spaces and every dimension."


    I felt myself falling and only woke up from my numbness when I hit the ground. Controlling my heavy breathing, I clenched my hands together to make sure I remained conscious.


    "And ... if I accept?"


    "If you accept I''ll simply do my part. You''ll get the love you so much desire in exchange for one night, your first night!" he clarified, lowering his voice. My stomach cramped once again.


    "And then?"


    "Then I''ll disappear and you''ll go on with your pathetic life."


    "You''ll disappear?" I asked, my mind half blocked by fear.


    "Yes. As if I''d never existed. You''ll even forget all about me. You''ll never see me again. The choice is yours." I felt defeated, trying to fight a war that had already been lost. I couldn''t breathe and wanted to scream, but knew my voice would never obey me. And, even if it did, what good would that do? He''d told me the choice was mine, but in truth there wasn''t much to choose from.


    "Oh, that''s him, isn''t it? Your Human." His voice brought me back from my desperate swirl of thoughts and I saw him look outside.


    It was only then that I noticed his dark wings had disappeared, but told myself this wasn''t the time or the place to worry about that. I jumped to my feet, forgetting all about my aching legs, and followed his gaze. From where I stood I could see Michael and his friends talking outside, like always. His eyes glistened slightly and the smile that tugged at his perfect lips left me with a terrifying certainty.


    "Interesting," he hissed and, right before my disbelieving eyes, disappeared within a small rain of black glitter, as if his presence in that room had been no more than an illusion.

 Chapter 2 - Part 3

    Part 3


    My heart raced and my sweaty hands opened the door so hard it slammed against the wall. I ran desperately down the corridor and down the stairs, the sound of my steps echoing in my ears, until I pushed open the heavy glass door leading outside. The cold wind that greeted me made me halt, and it was only then I noticed how my chest burned and how my breath left my lips in heavy white clouds. With urgency burning through my mind I looked for Michael, scanning all those unknown faces, until I found him.


    And there was the creature too, just a few steps away from Michael''s group, standing with his back against a tree, watching them just like I used to. I simply stood there, unsure of what to do. I recalled that Steph hadn''t been able to see him but, even so, seeing him so close to Michael left me terrified. That same dark smile touched his lips, confirming my fear, and his purple eyes glowed with a crimson light. I watched as he raised his head to look at the treetop above him and, panicking, watched as a thick heavy-looking branch start shaking, almost as if someone was jumping on it. And I knew immediately what he was up to.


    I ran again, not even thinking about what I was about to do, and bumped with all my might against Michael, pushing him out of harm''s way just in time; the heavy branch falling with a loud thump right where he''d stood a second ago.


    For a moment everything was quite and all I could hear was my own breath. And then worried voices started filling the air.


    "Michael! You OK?"


    "How in hell did this thing fall?" asked another boy, kicking the branch that was so heavy it didn''t even budge.


    "Hey, Michael! You''re bleeding!"


    I looked up at him in alarm and noticed the thin thread of blood trickling down one of his cheeks. He swiftly cleaned it away making it easier to see the small cut on his skin.


    "It''s nothing," he answered and looked back at me, smiling gently. "Hmm, thanks. You''ve probably saved my life."


    A wave of warmth ran through my body. I hadn''t thought of doing something as heroic as that. In fact, I really hadn''t thought of anything at all.


    "Ah ... it was nothing," I murmured. "I was just walking by when I noticed ... I acted without thinking," I confessed, feeling too embarrassed at being the center of attention.


    "Michael! You better go and disinfect that," one of his friends advised. "You say it''s nothing, but it won''t stop bleeding. Stop acting the hero and come with me to the infirmary!" he practically commanded, holding him by an arm and helping him up to his feet, dragging him towards the north building. Michael laughed, filling me with that warm happiness that made my heart soar, and followed his friend obediently.


    "See you later," he told me at the last moment, peering over his shoulder to wave at me, and I raised a hand, trying to respond but, at the same time, too entranced to do it properly.


    "Were you hurt?" asked a boy, who had been present during my shameful moment the day before.


    I blinked returning from my dream world. "Um, no, thank you," I answered in an almost inaudible voice and stood up.


    He smiled politely. "Good. Well, I''ll see you later."


    "OK," I answered once again, not knowing what else to say, and watched as he too, walked away.


    The sound of a low laughter quickly erased all the feelings of warmth from my mind. And yet my anger spoke louder, overthrowing my fear, and I clenched my fists turning to face him.


    "What the hell do you think you''re doing?" I demanded, probably too loudly, since everyone that looked at me would see me arguing with a tree, and his laughter was replaced by an amused smile.


    "Really, really interesting."


    "Didn''t you say we had a Contract? You tried to kill him!" I accused him, furiously. That he would kill me, I could accept. But someone else getting hurt because of me was simply inadmissible.


    "Oh well, so much drama," he complained with a tedious sigh. "Let''s be real, shall we? If I wanted him dead he''d be dead," he claimed with absolute conviction. "I only wanted to see what kind of Human he is. On the other hand, as you so clearly put it, there is no Contract until you''ve accepted its terms." He released the full intensity of his presence and, once more, I felt like I was being crushed to death. "But really. A Human like that ... you have quite the bad taste in men. Can''t see why any woman would want a man like him. On the other hand it makes everything else all that easier. Almost too easy, even."This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    I lowered my gaze, truthfully depressed, the memory of what had happened the day before still very much alive in my head, and sighed. "What''s the use? No one can do anything about it."


    "If it''s him that you want, it''s him you shall have," he asserted with that sarcastic smile.


    "And what can something like you do? Will you make him see things that aren''t really there every time he looks at me? Or will you make him think that he wants me, even when he doesn''t? In the end, he will never love me. It''ll all be a big illusion," I contested, speaking from the pain that still lived in my heart, and heard him take a deep breath.


    "It is true that any of those solutions would be faster and much more effective in the ways of solving your little problem," he agreed in an almost condescending voice. "But, unfortunately, at the time, I don''t possess what is needed to make any of those things possible." I raised my head to look at him, trying to understand what he meant, and was inevitably caught in his violet gaze.


    "What do you mean?"


    "Both options you''ve mentioned imply the manipulation of one''s being. Be it your being or his being. And it''s not that I can''t do it," he added with a certain pride.


    "Then?"


    He smiled, balancing his shoulders forward and pulled away from the tree. My whole body shook uncontrollably and I gave three steps back, even though he hadn''t taken a single one towards me.


    "Something like that won''t even be necessary. All that is needed are a few pushes."


    "Why? If like you said I belong to you and you can claim my Soul whenever you want, why bother?"


    "That''s none of your concern," he replied coldly. "Worry only about deciding." His cruel tone of voice made an invisible knot squeeze my throat.


    "Deciding? What''s there to decide?" He smiled cynically and I frowned, calling upon the small remains of courage I still possessed. "If that''s how it''s going to be, then there are a few terms I want to add!" I stated and he tilted his head, his dark hair sliding over his white shoulders. I was sure he was going to refuse, or that he''d get angry with my audacity, but a slight expression of curiosity took over his face. "And these are non-negotiable!" I added, my heart beating like crazy.


    "I''m listening."


    I swallowed hard, fearing I was interpreting his disposition wrongly, but either way I had nothing to lose.


    "I want you to guarantee that you won''t harm any of the people around me!" I demanded and waited fearfully for his reaction.


    He stood silent for a moment, his expression undisturbed, looking like a statue once more, until he finally straighten his back.


    "Is that it?" he asked, as if he''d been expecting more, and I felt lost. Was that it? His question made me desperately rack my brain in search of more conditions I might add, but I couldn''t remember anything else, even though I was sure there was bound to be other ways that would help me control that creature''s actions. "If that''s all I accept your terms," he added with a sigh, looking completely indifferent, and his soft voice broke my thoughts, robbing me of any possible argument.


    "That''s it ... then," I whispered with the feeling I''d just condemned myself to hell, too tired to even be afraid anymore, and he smiled.


    "Not yet," he retorted and I watched terrified as he lifted an arm, his index finger pointing towards me. For a moment I thought he was about to shoot some kind of magic lightning and strike me down, reducing me to ashes. "That mark on your wrist is proof that I''m obliged to fulfill this Contract," he informed me calmly and the burn on my wrist stung as if the simple mention of its existence were enough to make it hurt. He looked amused.


    "Come here," he commanded, beckoning me with his long, white finger, but I found myself unable to obey.


    I knew that now that I''d made my choice there was nothing to be done about it. For the time being there was no other way. Maybe afterwards, maybe I could find a way to Seal him in that book again, or even destroy him for good. I would desperately cling to those thoughts as my last source of hope. Right there and then, that was the only I could do.


    I had to make use of all my will power to overcome the fear and finally managed to drag my feet across the ground, my knees shaking with each and every step, as I forced myself to obey his command. I stopped right in front of him, noticing for the first time how tall he was, probably even taller than Michael. His white hands moved, making me hold my breath as I recalled the pain they had brought me, but he didn''t touch me. Instead he pulled at the dark satin wrapping his body and uncovered his chest, his skin as white as his hands, his muscles finely outlined.


    "Kiss me," he said in his intoxicating voice and rested a finger over the place where his heart should be. "Only then can you be certain that I''ll fulfill what has been agreed." I didn''t understand. I didn''t want to understand. The only thing I wanted was for everything to be over as soon as possible.


    I leaned forward, my tense body trembling, and he pulled his hand away. I allowed my lips to touch his skin, cold and soft like silk, and sweetly scented, and kissed it briefly. When I stepped back I noticed a mark similar to mine had remained. The red of the burn against the fairness of his skin almost shocking, and yet he hadn''t even winced when I vividly recalled having screamed in pain.


    He covered himself again and his movements made me step back even further.


    "Now our Contract has been sealed," he confirmed, although I couldn''t feel anything different, I was still me and the same from just moments ago. "I must go now. We''ll meet later." And before I could say anything else, he disappeared leaving that sparkly dark dust in his place.

 Chapter 2 - Part 4

    Part 4


    That day, after dinner and a few moments of mother-daughter quality time, I said my good-night and went up to my room. I hesitated for a moment outside my door. But when I finally opened it, I found there had been no reason to fear.


    He wasn¡¯t there and everything else was in its rightful place. For a moment I¡¯d considered the possibility that the effects of his Magic might have worn off during the day and that, when I returned home, I¡¯d find everything in pieces again.


    My gaze fell upon the heavy book and anger took over me, but I immediately censured my childishness. That pile of paper wasn¡¯t to blame for my idiotic decision. And a bright idea crossed my mind, which made me grab the book and open it on the first page.


    I¡¯d start there, I decided. If a spell from that book had set him free, then maybe the book contained the Magic formula that would imprison him again!This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I read the book all through the night and Saturday morning, only putting it down to have some breakfast. I went back to my readings until lunchtime and, in the afternoon, Rachel and I went to the supermarket. I returned to its yellowish pages after dinner and was past five in the morning when I finally finished it, completely frustrated for not having found a single thing that might help me.


    The book said nothing about how to Seal evoked creatures. In fact, if I understood correctly, the book¡¯s author seemed to find the idea of anything materializing itself during a ritual utterly impossible, since the recipes on its pages worked solely with energetic and spiritual entities. As it was, there was no need to include spells to expel or cast away such beings back to their original dimensions.


    I sighed, putting the book back on its shelf, and fell on the bed, falling asleep without even noticing.


    The rest of the weekend went by in a rush. My research on mythical creatures and Magic Spells progressed on the Internet, and it didn¡¯t take me long to understand that subjects like Magic and the Occult were in vogue everywhere. There were dozens of sites about the stuff, and they all said totally different things. Some even more absurd than some of the recipes included on my heavy book.


    Still, and although I spent those few days under an absurd tension, waiting to see him appear out of thin air at any time, looking for him on every tree branch I passed by almost like a mad person, he didn¡¯t return.

 Chapter 3 - Part 1

    BAG


    1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°And thus my world, forever unmoving and suspended in time and space,


    fell unto the Wheel of Destiny and into the stormy waters of unknown seas.


    And although I feel like I¡¯m drowning, in this strange and new movement


    a smile persists on my dying lips, for I¡¯ve finally found out what has always been there,


    beyond this constant and unchanging inertia.¡±


    Part 1


    ¡°Good morning, Mary!¡± I raised my head and smiled.


    ¡°Morning.¡± Steph dragged her chair to take her place and Joanne entered the classroom approaching us.


    ¡°How in all sacred heavens did you manage to arrive before me?¡± she asked Steph, sarcastically, and Steph stuck out her tongue. ¡°So? How was your weekend?¡± she asked us and I thought I saw Steph blush. ¡°Uh! I see we have some progress here,¡± Joanne observed maliciously. ¡°Spit it out! Did you go out with the guy?¡±


    ¡°His name is Mark,¡± Steph corrected and Joanne looked at her wide-eyed.


    ¡°His name is Mark, I see. So? How was it?¡±


    ¡°How was what? We went to the movies.¡±


    ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°And nothing!¡± Steph replied defensively. ¡°Why must there be an and? We hardly know each other.¡±


    ¡°I suppose,¡± Joanne conceded, resting her arms on Steph¡¯s desk. ¡°So? What do you think of the guy?¡±


    ¡°Nothing special,¡± she retorted with a grumble, looking away. I couldn¡¯t help smile while Joanne was trying really hard not to laugh. It was obvious that Stephanie had enjoyed Mark¡¯s company, a lot. ¡°I guess he¡¯s nice. We talked a lot.¡±


    ¡°Are you going out again?¡± Joanne insisted with enthusiasm, as if she were watching an episode of some soap opera, and Steph simply nodded. ¡°That¡¯s great! Finally! You¡¯re always turning guys down.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯m interested in him or anything,¡± Steph countered immediately, her cheeks blushing, and Joanne patted her hand.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, we understand,¡± she responded condescendingly. Mr. Frederich¡¯s stern voice interrupted us as he entered the classroom and wished us a good morning, although he sounded more like he wanted to throw us all out the window. Now there was someone who looked like he¡¯d had a terrible weekend, I thought noticing the dark circles under his eyes. Frowning as usual, he looked like he was in an even worse mood than normally.


    ¡°Even though it¡¯s unusual and against this school¡¯s regulations ¡­¡± he began as soon as there was silence, in that tone of reprehension that led to many expressions of dismay. The probability of someone having committed some mortal sin had everyone ready to listen to a long sermon. ¡°¡­ and although I¡®ve opposed it vehemently, the college board of directors has decided to include a new student in this class.¡± The expressions of dismay instantly disappeared. Mr. Frederich turned towards the entrance, making a short signal with his hand, and everyone¡¯s attention was immediately fixed on the opened door. ¡°His name is Gabriel Lawless.¡±


    Whispers filled the room as a tall boy entered the classroom, stepping forward in wide, slow strides, until he stopped next to the teacher, whose head stood at his shoulder height. He had short, black hair, a few wild bangs falling over his forehead and eyebrows, and slightly elongated black eyes. His skin was too pale, as if it hadn¡¯t been touched by the sun in ages, and the simple black shirt he wore had the first button undone.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    I felt as if my blood had just frozen ... that terrifying, suffocating feeling taking over me again, and I immediately focused on my breathing. Even though I was there, looking straight at him, I still couldn¡¯t believe my own eyes and, in my mind, I could only ask what the hell he was doing.


    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure,¡± I heard his velvet voice and my mouth was immediately filled with a bitter taste. Beside me Steph whispered a ¡®Wow!¡¯ that left me painfully aware that now everyone could see him. And I panicked, my eyes rapidly running him through. It was him! No doubt about it. But, at the same time, it wasn¡¯t. There was no extra-long hair, nor purple eyes or black wings. He smiled and my heart jumped into a frenetic race. He was looking at me.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± the teacher said dryly and in an annoyed tone that I could hardly hear. ¡°It would seem your new classmate is related to Miss Mellis. Am I right?¡±


    A wave of murmurs rose all around me, as surprised exclamations and many others of disbelief filled the air. I was beyond stunned and the only thing I could hear was my name in some distant echo.


    ¡°We¡¯re cousins. It¡¯s been a while since we last saw each other,¡± he clarified, his voice the only thing I could clearly comprehend, and I looked at him in complete disbelief. He was still smiling.


    ¡°Very well, then! Silence!¡± Mr. Frederich demanded. ¡°All questions will be asked after class. You may take your place at the back of the room.¡± The new student nodded obediently and stepped down of the board¡¯s platform, crossing the room in his wide stride, passing right beside me.


    I thought my heart would stop, closed my eyes and only opened them when I heard the sound of his chair dragging against the floor, while Mr. Frederich told us to open our books to page fifty-three.


    ¡°Mari! Hey, Mari!¡± I looked in the direction of that whisper and was faced with Steph¡¯s curious smile. ¡°Is he really your cousin?¡± For a moment I could hardly hear her. My throat felt dry and rough, and I knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to utter a single word. So I nodded. ¡°You never told me you had cousins. And you¡¯re so different!¡±


    I turned to my book so that the teacher wouldn¡¯t reprehend me and forced an answer.


    ¡°We¡¯re not close.¡± It was all I could say, basically repeating his words. Thankfully, for the time, being Steph seemed satisfied.


    The entire class I had the disturbing feeling that he was staring at me, as if his gaze could bore holes into my back. Needless to say I hardly heard a word about the life and work of Shakespeare. But, as time went by, I managed to regain the ability to think clearly and easily foresaw what awaited me as soon as the bell rang. I told myself I had to stop reacting like that to his presence; that there was nothing to fear, now that we had a Contract. Just to make sure, I tugged at the blue velvet ribbon I¡¯d tied around my wrist to replace the too flashy white bandage, and there it was, the small red mark.


    Now that my thoughts were clear, I found myself grinding my teeth in deep annoyance. What was he thinking? School belonged to my world, a world I did not wish to share with him! I felt invaded by his presence. Up until then I¡¯d been the only one to see him, almost as if he really were in some other dimension. Now even Steph thought that thing belonged to my family!


    Unnoticed, as I constantly stumbled on my own messed up thoughts, time went by. And, when the bell finally rang, I still hadn¡¯t come to terms with his presence there, much less felt prepared to face the storm of questions that certainly awaited me. So I quickly got to my feet, gathered my things, and rushed out of the room, ignoring the voices that called my name.


    As I left I saw him sitting on his chair, smiling at the girls surrounding his desk, curious about the new student.


    Without even waiting for the bell to ring again, I entered the classroom of my next class, Philosophy, and took my place, hoping for a few moments of peace and quiet and for the chance to put my thoughts in order. The recess was over all too soon, before I could make any progress, and the classroom began to fill. Kevin greeted me, taking the seat beside me, but didn¡¯t ask about my weekend, continuing with the reading that had probably kept him busy during recess.


    The teacher arrived, leaving me tense and, just as I¡¯d expected, the scene from last class repeated itself.


    Had to learn to live with it, I thought. There was no other way. And I wasn¡¯t about to allow him to mess up my life, I decided, strengthening my resolve. He would not take over my world!


    I sighed half despairingly. If I could at least stop shaking like a dying leaf every time he came close to me.


    When class was over Kevin and I met with Steph and Joanne, who awaited us by the end of the corridor, and together we went down to the ground floor.


    ¡°Is everything all right, Mari? You just ran out the door, before ...¡± Steph complained, and I made myself smile apologetically.


    ¡°Sorry, but all those people with all those questions,¡± I honestly answered, feeling miserable, and Steph laughed gently.


    ¡°Oh, I understand. Your cousin is not one to go unnoticed. And Fred even said that the school wouldn¡¯t normally take in transfers this time of year. Things like these will only make people even more curious,¡± she justified, and the subject immediately became my ¡®new cousin¡¯.


    Joanne agreed with Steph while Kevin asked to be put up to speed, since he was completely oblivious to the whole matter. Steph gladly reported that morning¡¯s events and Kevin repaid by informing the girls that my ¡®new cousin¡¯ was also attending Philosophy. They were on it when the rest of the group arrived, wanting to know what all the ruckus was about, and Steph basically went back to the beginning, describing the mysterious appearance of that strange, tall being that, after all, was from my family. I just kept nodding every time anyone needed a confirmation to the two girls¡¯ tale and wished I could simply disappear.

 Chapter 3 - Part 2

    ¡°Hello there. Mind if I join you?¡±


    Suddenly everyone was utterly silent, or maybe it was me who become completely deaf. His voice had come right from behind me and my legs shook as if they were too tired to hold me standing. The line of people in front of me became distorted and twisted and I felt my consciousness slipping away.


    ¡°But of course,¡± Steph answered pleasantly. ¡°I¡¯m Stephanie,¡± she introduced herself and I wished I could scream at her and just tell her to run. ¡°This is Joanne. We¡¯re both attending your English Literature class,¡± she went on as if it was her duty to introduce the rest of the group. ¡°This is Kevin and, as it seems, you have Philosophy together. Then we have Joe who belongs to the Sports and Health Department, and Sarah and Albert, both in Arts.¡±


    ¡°Nice to meet you. My name is Gabriel.¡± They returned his greeting.


    ¡°Oh, and of course, you already know Mari,¡± Steph added, placing an arm over my shoulders like she always did, the sudden movement dragging me back from my state of stupor.


    ¡°Of course ... Mariane.¡± My heart jumped and I forgot to breathe. My name in his voice was like a magic key containing enough power to, just like that, completely destroy me. The others started asking him casual questions and Steph dragged me along the line.


    Surprise hit me when I finally dared to take a peek at him. The perfect statue smiled and laughed openly. His dark eyes seemed genuinely interested in what my friends were saying. He looked indecisive when he had to make food choices and ended up picking what Joe recommended. He was obviously taller than most, standing out in the crowd, perhaps the tallest in the entire school. But, apart from that, no one couldn''t point anything strange about him.


    We took our places at an empty table and the conversation went on. My new cousin was telling stories about his old school, how they also had a sulky teacher just like Mr. Frederich. I saw him raise his fork and fill his mouth with food. I felt lost. The perfect statue ate. When I realized I was the only one not eating and stupidly staring at him. I immediately grabbed my fork and stuffed my mouth with food.


    I¡¯m such an idiot!


    Why was I the only one who had to deal with that uncontrollable feeling of fear when he was around? How could everyone else accept his presence so naturally? How did they not feel the icy cold waves emanating from him, even while he smiled gently as he heard Steph¡¯s tainted opinion about Mr. Frederich?


    ¡°But really, no one would ever guess you guys are related,¡± Joe pointed out and I slightly choked.


    ¡°Right? You two are so different!¡± Joanne unusually agreed.


    ¡°That¡¯s because my mother is Mariane¡¯s father¡¯s cousin.¡± I put down my fork and knife to hide how my hands were shaking. ¡°It¡¯s not like we¡¯re first cousins. Besides, as it turns out, I take after my father¡¯s side,¡± he added casually and I feared I wouldn¡¯t be able to keep down what little I¡¯d been able to eat.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Right. It had to be,¡± Joe agreed laughing. ¡°Mari¡¯s family must be all shorties!¡±


    ¡°Joe!¡± Steph¡¯s tone of reprehension was lost amongst the general laughter. Only she knew how much that subject hit a nerve.


    ¡°Um, not really,¡± Gabriel disagreed and everyone was suddenly quite again, as if it were strictly forbidden to utter a single sound while he spoke. ¡°Aunt Rachel is quite tall, for a woman.¡± I don¡¯t know what shocked me the most, him knowing my mother¡¯s name and appearance or the feeling that he had somehow defended me.


    ¡°Oh, then Mari is the only one with a problem,¡± Joe replied with a smile and Steph kicked him under the table. His loud ¡®Ouch!¡¯ made everyone else laugh again and I stood up, knowing I¡¯d never be able to finish my lunch.


    ¡°Going already?¡± Joanne asked and I noticed that, unlike my usual self, I hadn¡¯t even bothered to make sure I¡¯d leave as discreetly as possible.


    ¡°Hey, Mari, you sure that teacher isn¡¯t kind of exploiting you?¡± Joe asked, sounding worried, and I stood there trying to make sense of his question. ¡°Making you categorize all those books, every single day!¡± It came out more like a protest and I forced a smile as I understood that that had probably been Steph¡¯s excuse for my daily absences and early departures from lunch.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind,¡± I answered, praying my voice wouldn¡¯t falter. ¡°It¡¯s only for an hour ...¡±


    ¡°Just go already!¡± Steph encouraged me with an accomplice¡¯s smile. ¡°And good luck!¡±


    I grabbed my tray with shaky hands and noticed that he was staring at me. The glass jingled against the plate and I rushed out of there.


    I went through the corridors at a rapid pace, grumbling and protesting under my breath and yet unable to stop all that trembling. I was especially annoyed with myself, for not being able to act normally whenever he was around, even though I knew there was nothing to fear for the time being.


    I stopped by the stairs that led to the first floor and leaned against the wall, feeling some measure of comfort in its cold hardness. He¡¯d invaded my world, but I could hardly blame anyone else but me. After all I had been the one who¡¯d invited him in.


    ¡°You fear me that much?¡± His voice, in that casual tone, paralyzed me from head to toe and I clenched my fists furiously. ¡°Not that you shouldn¡¯t. But you seem to be the only one to feel that way,¡± he noted, apparently devoid of any emotion and, once more, I had to make use of all my willpower just to face him. He stood right in front of me, his back against the opposite wall. Two girls passed between us, talking cheerfully, and it was as if in that short fraction of time we were in completely different dimensions.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I managed to ask, my dry voice scraping my throat, and he looked surprised by my question.


    ¡°What do you mean, what am I doing here? Fulfilling our Contract, of course.¡±


    ¡°Steph and the others ...¡±


    ¡°You have nothing to worry about. Contracts must be followed to the letter. Besides, once it has been fulfilled, once I disappear, they will all forget about me. It will be as if I had never existed.¡± I couldn¡¯t help noticing that it was the second time he told me those exact words. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to see him? Isn¡¯t that what you normally do?¡± He smiled mockingly and I noticed that nothing had remained from the nice and friendly expression he¡¯d had on his face while answering my friends¡¯ questions.


    He was right, I thought. That was what I would normally do. However, just thinking that my presence near Michael would mean he¡¯d be there too, made my fear even more palpable and real.


    ¡°I see,¡± he said. ¡°That¡¯s fine too, you know? Because we won¡¯t need to take a single step ... Mariane.¡± I held on to the wall so I wouldn¡¯t collapse right there and his words stopped making sense at the sound of my name.


    ¡°Stop. Just stop calling my name,¡± I whispered, my chest burning due to the lack of air, and he looked genuinely amused, tilting his head forward as if to see me better.


    ¡°And why is that?¡± he asked innocently, although it was written on his face he knew perfectly well why. ¡°You may call me Gabriel, since it seems you don¡¯t remember my name. Did you know that Gabriel is the name of an angel? Don¡¯t you think it fits me perfectly?¡±


    I regained my balance and faced him. That creature ... was pure evil.

 Chapter 3 - Part 3

    Part 3


    The sound of footsteps left us silent and I couldn¡¯t help feeling restless before the gleam in his eyes. I waited to see who approached us and my heart jumped a beat when Michael turned the corner.


    He had his hands tucked inside the pockets of a dark-blue and white jacket; his face lightly flushed, probably from being outside. The same boy from before accompanied him, and I wished I could simply run away. I would have done it too, if not for the short distance between us that would make running even worse.


    To my surprise he saw me and seemed to recognize me. For an instant thought he would just simply walk by me. He didn¡¯t, though. Michael stopped a few steps from where I stood and his smile inflamed my cheeks, which I tried to hide behind strands of hair by lowering my head.


    ¡°You ... you¡¯re the girl from yesterday,¡± he noted and I simply nodded, but, to my horror, the shadow standing on the other side of the corridor came to life.


    ¡°Her name is Mariane,¡± he stated with a commanding tone and I froze, unable to breathe.


    I watched as he walked towards Michael, standing at least one head taller than him, and wanted with all my heart to stop him, but just stood there, unable to move. He raised an arm, his long white finger pointing at Michael, who was staring at him completely perplexed, and I recalled with a shudder the pain his touch could inflict.


    ¡°See that you¡¯ll never forget it again,¡± he added, sticking his finger on Michael¡¯s chest, and then walked away, disappearing around the corner.


    I looked at Michael in fear. For a moment I thought he would faint, or something worse. But Michael smiled, looking embarrassed, and rubbed the place where Gabriel had poked him.


    ¡°He¡¯s right. I have the worst memory for names,¡± he confessed, scratching behind his neck. ¡°Mariane!¡± I jumped at the sound of my name and couldn¡¯t help blush.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    ¡°Yes!¡± I answered reflexively and immediately felt like a fool.


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t had the chance to properly thank you for saving me, yesterday¡± he told me, his warm voice erasing in an instant all the dark and terrifying things that had happened in the last few days.


    ¡°It was nothing,¡± I replied in a shy voice. ¡°Besides, you were the one who saved me first.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, in the stairway,¡± he recalled and I lost myself. When he smiled his whole face seemed to smile as well. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry for not remembering you the other day. Steven was the one who told me who you were. The day you fell on the stairs we had an exam next, and we were already late. All that stress,¡± he said in an apologetic tone and I shook my head vehemently.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± And in truth, right then, everything was okay. His words had completely erased the pain his indifference had caused; that same pain that led me to open that damn book in the first place.


    ¡°That guy.¡± He looked towards the direction Gabriel had taken. ¡°Is he in your class? I don¡¯t recall seeing him around.¡± I wished I could deny it, tell him that I didn¡¯t know him, but immediately changed my mind. Gabriel stood out too much and Michael was bound to end up hearing rumors about him, which meant learning the truth, including that we were supposedly related.


    ¡°He just transferred,¡± I explained. ¡°His name is ... Gabriel ... and he¡¯s my cousin.¡± I had to force out the words.


    ¡°Strange. Never heard of student transfers in the middle of the year,¡± Steven opined and Michael nodded. I wished I was able to make up a better story, like Steph would have certainly have done.


    ¡°True,¡± Michael agreed. ¡°But now I see why he sounded so defensive. He clearly didn¡¯t like the fact that I forgot your name,¡± he told me condescendingly and I was stunned for a moment. However, I instantly recalled the ease with which Gabriel deceived everyone else, and my surprise quickly turned into anger. Even Michael had bought his little act. ¡°I guess he¡¯s right, though,¡± he conceded. ¡°And I swear it won¡¯t happen again.¡±


    Ah! I could die right there and then. Nothing else mattered. Nothing but the softness of that green gaze, the sweetness of that smile, the warmth of that voice. That it was all for me, even if only during that small period of time, was beyond anything I had ever dreamed possible. Michael looked, smiled and talked to me, and nothing else mattered.


    Steven reminded him they still had to prep the Chemistry laboratory for the next class and it was with a heavy disappointment that I returned his farewell. I stood there, watching him as he climbed the stairs and long after he was gone. His image was printed on my memory. Right then Michael was all I could see.

 Chapter 3 - Part 4

    Part 4


    During English class there was always a constant murmur in the background, and this time Steph¡¯s talking partner was Joanne, who was demanding details about her date with Mark. I, on the other hand, didn¡¯t really mind being left out. Not being included in their talk spared me the effort of having to constantly look for answers to their questions. And so my thoughts went back to the images burned in fire on my memory. I still couldn¡¯t believe I¡¯d been able to have what seemed like a normal talk with Michael.


    We were halfway through class when Steph turned to me.


    ¡°Mari? Where¡¯s your cousin?¡± I looked at her unable to understand. My thoughts were floating somewehere so far away that it was hard to come back to reality. But, as soon as I did, everything else came tumbling back as well, leaving a heavy acid pain in my stomach.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I replied, thinking I didn¡¯t want to know, and Steph turned to Joanne.


    ¡°Strange. He told us he also had this class, right?¡± Joanne nodded. ¡°He said he chose the same classes as you, Mari,¡± Steph added and I couldn¡¯t feel surprised by that. ¡°He told us that since he really doesn¡¯t have any specific interests that he¡¯d rather go to the same classes as you. At least he¡¯s together with someone he knows.¡±


    I sighed. She really believed all that crap.


    ¡°Your cousin is super nice,¡± Joanne stated with enthusiasm. ¡°Not to mention he¡¯s kind of a hunk!¡± I couldn¡¯t help gape at her appalled.


    ¡°Well, he¡¯s definitely something worth feasting your eyes upon,¡± Steph agreed with a malicious smile. ¡°Did you see all the girls staring at him at lunch time?¡±


    ¡°Yeah! First Joe didn¡¯t even like him all that much. But now I think he¡¯s decided to make good use of the new chick magnet,¡± Joanne said jokingly and I started to see a new problem arising.


    ¡°You guys ...¡± I started and they both looked at me, leaving me unsure. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t get too close to him. He is not what he seems.¡±


    They were both silent for a moment, looking surprised at hearing me say something like that, and Steph ended up smiling, ruining the seriousness of the moment.


    ¡°Come on, Mari. We¡¯re just saying he¡¯s kind of cute. Besides, I¡¯m sure he can¡¯t be all that bad. You sound like me when I talk about my brother,¡± Steph added with a light laughter. I was left without an argument that wouldn¡¯t make me sound half paranoid.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    The murmur that filled the classroom suddenly grew louder and heads began turning towards the windows. Someone even stood up to see what was going on, but when I looked outside, all I could see was that it had started to rain. Our teacher, on the other hand, went on with her explanation about the irregularities of the English grammar, ignoring the commotion all around her.


    ¡°It¡¯s him, isn¡¯t it?¡± I heard someone whisper.


    ¡°It¡¯s the new guy,¡± another one said. Steph, Joanne and I immediately stood up and ran towards the closest window, standing between two other girls already glued against the glass


    ¡°What¡¯s he doing down there?¡±


    ¡°Who cares! He¡¯s gorgeous!¡± answered another girl and I trembled in anger.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t he your cousin, Mari?¡± asked the girl sitting by the window where we were all now perched, and I clenched my teeth, grumbling as I returned to my seat to grab my umbrella.


    ¡°Teacher, I¡¯m going to the bathroom. Be right back,¡± I announced and left without even waiting for an answer, certain that it would never come.


    That idiot! What was he thinking?


    I ran down the corridor and down the stairs, furious with the attention he was attracting, which would inevitably fall over me as well. Once on the ground floor I pushed the heavy glass door and opened my umbrella, hiding from the cold rain. I took a deep breath and climbed down the stairs where I¡¯d fallen a few days ago, my boots splashing on the sopping grass.


    I stopped a few steps away from him, unable to moving forward another step, knowing that if I walked any closer the fear imposed by his presence would take over me, threatening to overrun my thoughts. And I just stood there, watching him for a moment, making sure to keep firm control over my breathing.


    Gabriel was standing in the rain, his face turned upwards towards the gray sky filled with heavy clouds, his eyes closed, a stone statue once again. His expression was surprisingly soft, his black hair trickling water all over his face, his soaking wet shirt completely glued to his chest. He might as well have just climbed out of a swimming pool.


    ¡°What the hell ... What the hell are you doing?¡± I demanded, making sure my voice was heard. Even from where I stood I was well aware of the strength of his presence, but also of the number of eyes watching us from above, feeding my anger.


    ¡°Feeling,¡± he simply replied, moving only his lips that seemed to be kissing drops of rain instead of uttering words.


    ¡°What?!¡± I insisted, unable to understand.


    ¡°The rain,¡± he explained, lowering his head to face me and when his eyes opened I couldn¡¯t help step back. They were violet again. I looked away, trying to escape that mesmerizing trap, and squeezed the umbrella¡¯s handle.


    ¡°You¡¯re drawing too much attention,¡± I muttered as my courage quickly abandoned me. ¡°Everyone¡¯s talking about you ... upstairs.¡±


    He laughed in a short muffled laughter, and looked up towards the bright windows as if he could actually see the faces of those looking down on him.


    ¡°Humans. So easily impressed,¡± he stated with a slight tone of scorn, and his wet steps towards me left me pinned to where I stood. He stopped right beside me and the light tap he gave on my umbrella made me jump and almost drop it. ¡°This thing. We can only understand how precious things are after we¡¯ve lost them,¡± he said in a deep voice and, to my relief, walked away. Even then I only dared to move when I heard the sound of the glass door closing.

 Chapter 3 - Part 5

    Part 5


    It was still raining when I returned home that afternoon and, before inserting the key in the keyhole, I readied myself for the possibility of finding him somewhere in the living room, or even in my bedroom. But the house was thankfully empty. I sighed in relief, grateful for the few moments of peace and quiet I¡¯d have until the next day, and went for a shower, hoping to release some of the tension I¡¯d built up during the day.


    I was setting the table for dinner when I heard a key at the front door. Glad that I¡¯d correctly calculated the time needed for our carrot cream soup to be ready, I waited to see Rachel appear by the door.


    ¡°But you didn¡¯t have to go all the way to pick me up,¡± she was apparently saying on the cell phone. ¡°You¡¯re probably tired. I¡¯m sure you had a long day,¡± she went on and her high heels echoed in the corridor. I turned to greet her as she walked in to give me a kiss. ¡°Hello, dear. It smells great all the way to the front door.¡± I smiled, about to reveal that night¡¯s menu, when a dark shadow filled the doorway, freezing me in place. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve met him, right? Gabriel told me he already went to school today.¡±


    The plate I was holding slipped from my lifeless fingers, exploding into tiny pieces on the floor. He smiled, definitely amused by my reaction, and Rachel said something about how clumsy I was while rushing to pick up the broken pieces.


    ¡°Mari! You sure you didn¡¯t hurt yourself?¡± she asked me, worrying, but her question was lost amongst the deafening sound that was my irregular heartbeat.


    ¡°Mariane, your mother asked you a question.¡± His voice and the sound of my name released my mind from the irrational panic paralyzing me and I looked at Rachel, who was still staring at me.


    ¡°Oh ... no ... sorry, mom,¡± I mumbled, still shaking. ¡°I¡¯ll do that.¡±


    ¡°No way! You¡¯ll end up losing a finger! Just set another place at the table. Gabriel is staying with us.¡± I obeyed, trying not to think about the real meaning of those words. I refused to look at him a second time, fearing I might lose the ability to move again, and grabbed two extra plates and a glass from the cupboard. ¡°But do come in, Gabriel. And sit.¡± My mother disposed of the small pieces of broken glass and Gabriel slowly took the chair on the other side of the table. ¡°Tell me! What do you think of your new school?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s big and has lots of facilities. Mari was really nice and introduced me to all her friends. So, at least I¡¯ll have someone to talk to,¡± he answered pleasantly and I noticed it was the first time he hadn¡¯t used my full name. Maybe that was why the shock wasn¡¯t quite the same, I figured ... or maybe it had something to do with the relaxed way in which he had said it. I set the table and ran back to the stove with the excuse of having to stir the carrot cream.


    ¡°Really? That¡¯s really nice. I was kind of worried when they told me you were transferring in the middle of the year. It¡¯s good to know you¡¯ve blended in well,¡± Rachel said to him, as if she really knew him from way back and, half despairingly, I realized she probably thought she did and that in her mind that thing was actually from our family.


    Before we sat to eat Gabriel politely asked where the bathroom was and disappeared within the corridor¡¯s shadows. I couldn¡¯t help my anger at how fake and deceitful he could be. Rachel, on the other hand, seemed completely enthralled by his open, considerate and polite personality.


    We sat at the table and she filled our plates. Gabriel praised my carrot cream, which I could hardly taste, and played with the nuts on his plate receiving a motherly reprehension from Rachel. I tried as hard as I could not to throw up.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. Since it was all decided at the last minute there wasn¡¯t enough time to prepare anything special,¡± my mother said apologetically. ¡°So, I¡¯m sorry, but for the time being, you¡¯ll have to take the couch in the living room. Later I¡¯ll make sure to find you a decent place. Maybe we¡¯ll be able to transform my office into a bedroom.¡± The spoon fell from my hand hitting against the plate.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked in utter disbelief and Rachel smiled gently.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you before? Gabriel is staying with us for a while. Since it¡¯s just the two of us here, there¡¯s no need for him to rent a room.¡±


    I panicked and tried hard to keep breathing.


    ¡°But, Mom!¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter, Mari? We must always help our family!¡± she pointed out as if I were no more than a selfish child.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to cause any trouble.¡± I heard his voice in a deceiving tone of humility and my mother smiled at him.


    ¡°You¡¯re no trouble at all. Mari just isn¡¯t used to having other people around. Isn¡¯t that so, dear?¡± The anger that filled me inside left me boiling.


    ¡°Well then, I¡¯ll accept your invitation. But please, don¡¯t worry about anything else. The living room couch is more than enough,¡± he replied understandingly and I was sure that if I didn¡¯t fear him so much I¡¯d punch him hard in the face.


    ¡°No way! A student needs his own space,¡± Rachel disagreed vehemently. ¡°Right now I¡¯m a bit short on time, but if not until then, we¡¯ll take care of this during the Easter holidays.¡± I felt like I was drowning. Until the Easter holidays? How was I going to survive until then?


    Gabriel thanked her sheepishly and Rachel started asking him news from the rest of the family. By then I could hardly feel surprised at how easily he made things up, as if he was actually reading someone¡¯s biography.


    When we finished dinner Rachel stopped him from helping us in the kitchen, which I mentally thanked her for. At least the distance between us was guaranteed.


    I said my good-nights as soon as possible and ran up to my room, locking the door. It didn¡¯t take long until I heard Rachel¡¯s high heels on the stairs. She¡¯d probably gone to bed earlier since students needed their sleep and Gabriel slept in the living room.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    Needless to say, that night I hardly closed my eyes. I spent the whole time curled up under the quilt, imagining shadows all around me, imagining that he was right there, watching me. But he never came even close to my room. And so, when the alarm clock rang I was quick to silence it.


    I sat on the bad, tired and feeling my eyes heavy, and wished I had enough courage to skip school.


    It was the memory of Michael and of last enounter that finally made me stand up. Seeing him again and, who knew, maybe talk to him some more. It was all the motivation I needed.


    Unlike all other mornings, Rachel didn¡¯t call for me to make sure I¡¯d be ready in time, which immediately reminded me of the presence of our newest family member. Most likely she was busy attending to Gabriel, hence my hesitation as I walked downstairs. And, as to be expected, there he was.


    He wore a thin dark-blue shirt and black pants that delineated his long legs. And, in that brief instant, I couldn¡¯t help worrying about a bunch of stupid things: Where did his clothes come from when he hadn¡¯t brought any suitcases? How could he walk outside in that thin shirt and not freeze to death? And what about the notebooks and books I saw on the table? And money to pay for all those things, including school fees?


    ¡°Morning, Mari! Sleep well?¡± Rachel¡¯s kiss interrupted the flood of thoughts that had me pinned to the ground and I nodded, going around the table to take the seat farthest from him.


    The plate she put in front of me left me gaping. A full breakfast, including eggs, bacon, toast and stewed tomatoes. On the table there were two flasks of jam, a jar of orange juice, a pack of cereals and a few different yogurts. To finish it up, she placed a cup of coffee with milk right beside me.


    I sighed. She was really trying to impress him.


    ¡°Well, dear, don¡¯t forget I have that business dinner today. So just take something from the freezer and eat it together.¡± She made it a point to look happy that I¡¯d have some company for a change. I had to force a smile. I knew she worried about leaving me home alone when she had to work late, especially at night. However, I couldn¡¯t really see how leaving me with some complete stranger could be any better.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I told her and she kissed my hair caressing my face.


    ¡°I hope everything goes well at school, Gabriel. If you need anything, just give me a call,¡± she reminded him and he nodded, his black eyes showing nothing but pure sincerity.


    ¡°I can¡¯t thank you enough. Wish you a nice day.¡±


    ¡°Same to you both,¡± she replied happily as she grabbed her briefcase and her high heels echoed down the corridor until the front door was closed.


    We sat alone with an abundant table between us.


    I swallowed my food, reminding myself of the decisions I had made the previous day. No matter how nervous I felt, I wasn¡¯t about to stop eating. But when he stood up I couldn¡¯t help the tension that stiffened my body, leaving me in a state of high alert. And so I watched him warily as he slowly walked towards the sink to wash his plate and cup.


    I¡¯d never felt so annoyed in my entire life. What the hell was he doing? That he tried to keep his human-like act near everyone else was something I had to learn to endure. Sure I couldn¡¯t help feeling irritated when he so easily deceived my mother and friends. But, on the other hand, being deceived was probably better than knowing the truth. But now he was also doing it in front of me, when there wasn¡¯t anyone else around? Him, washing plates! When he could probably just make them disappear and replace them with new ones, just like he¡¯d done with the my bedroom window. It was as if he was trying to deceive me too. And that was something I could never allow to happen! Besides, the matter-of-fact way in which he did those things made me sick. As if his presence there, in my kitchen, was to be expected; as if he really belonged there.


    ¡°Want me to wash yours?¡± he asked me in his velvet-like voice, the water still running, and the anger burned my stomach.


    Standing up, I grabbed my plate and dropped it in the garbage bag before running out of the kitchen.


    I closed my bedroom door, out of breath, and tried to calm down.


    Lately my feelings were a complete roller coaster. I, who just until recently could only feel my heart beat when I looked at Michael. With him as the exception, the rest of the world had never meant much, everything else passing me by, unable to leave a single mark. Not even when my father had left, and we had moved, had I felt anything beyond a shallow shadow of pity.


    I grabbed my things, aware that the one to blame for my current situation was the creature washing plates in my kitchen, and walked downstairs again a bit more composed, hopping he¡¯d already left.


    I stopped at the bottom of the stairs when I saw him by the front door, as if he¡¯d been waiting for me and, before I could come any closer, he opened the door and stepped out into the cold morning.


    I sighed grabbing the keys and followed him, closing the door behind me.


    The sky was clearer than the day before and the sun promised to take a peek. At least it looked like it wouldn¡¯t rain again, but the cold morning wind was as sharp as always. I looked at him from behind and shivered at the sight of his shirt and hair, as the wind tossed them one way and the other. At that point I was sure he was unable to feel cold.


    We walked in silence for the most part of the way; him always in front of me, I measuring every single step to make sure I kept a safe distance. Then I recalled something that had tumbled around in my head the entire night and had to swallow before speaking to make sure my voice wouldn¡¯t betray me.


    ¡°Yesterday. What did you do to Michael?¡± He stopped for a moment, making me stop as well, and looked at me over his shoulder. Fear wrapped itself around my throat. The fact that I couldn¡¯t see his whole face, which meant I couldn¡¯t make out his expression, made him look even scarier.


    ¡°Oh, I see,¡± he whispered as if he¡¯d been thinking about my question and, to my relief, turned around and resumed walking. ¡°If you¡¯re worried that I may have cast some kind of spell on him, you don¡¯t have to. As I¡¯ve told you before, right now, I¡¯m unable to do that kind of thing. If I had done it by now he would be dragging himself at your feet.¡± He sounded amused. ¡°I know you¡¯re impatient, but I promise it won¡¯t take that long.¡±


    ¡°How can you be so sure of something like that?¡± I asked, offended by his concept about the kind of person Michael was. ¡°No one chooses the one he loves.¡±


    ¡°True. But Human Beings have frail hearts, full of voids, anxieties and sufferings. All you have to do is present them someone who can fulfill one of those voids or ease some of those pains, and suddenly they can¡¯t live without them. And isn¡¯t that what you call love? To have someone special that makes you feel good and that you want to keep close by at any cost?¡±


    His presumption riled me up and I was sure that love was much more than that. At least I was certain that what I felt for Michael wasn¡¯t something that simple. And yet I couldn¡¯t find the right words to describe it, leaving me frustrated for not being able to counter his limited concept of what it meant to love someone.


    ¡°And you think I can be that someone?¡±


    ¡°Oh, this is the first time you didn¡¯t ask me a stupid question,¡± he scoffed and I frowned. What was that suppose to mean? ¡°Looks like we¡¯re making progress. I presume you¡¯re waiting for a confirmation?¡± I didn¡¯t answer, deciding not to encourage his game of words. ¡°Human Beings have the ability to be whoever they want to be, because they possess the gift of free will.¡± The sound of voices told us we were arriving, placing our talk on hold.


    I kept thinking about what he¡¯d told me and recalled the old woman¡¯s words. She too had said something about a choice I had to make. But the way he¡¯d put it. Had he meant that, unlike us, he had no choice? I frowned again, this time annoyed at myself. How could I even believe a single word he said? Besides, it was clear he too had made a choice. He¡¯d decided not to kill me in exchange for that absurd Contract. And so I simply dropped the subject.

 Chapter 3 - Part 6

    Part 6


    When the bell rang for recess Gabriel was once again the center of attention. His brilliant idea of standing out in the rain where the whole school could see him had made him widely known, and even girls from the South building now came into our classroom just to talk with him. I sighed as I realized that he had probably become as popular as Michael, and only in twenty-four hours, and changed classrooms with Steph, trying as hard as I could to simply ignore him.


    I felt proud of myself when I managed to focus my attention on what the teacher was saying, although that uncomfortable burning sensation on my back still remained. I decided that, logically, he wouldn¡¯t spend two hours uninterruptedly staring at my greenish jumper, which meant that sickening sensation was all in my head.


    Like always we met the rest of the group for lunch and he naturally joined in, as if he were one of us. The others greeted him kindly, Joe with excessive joy, asking him about how he was getting along with everyone else. He answered all their questions with a smile, in that make-believe of honesty and kindness. As far as I was concerned, he was simply too close for comfort and the fear I couldn¡¯t seem to control began taking over me.


    When we sat down I noticed that there were people peering at him from every table, the girls whispering and giggling among themselves. He seemed oblivious to it all. All he could probably see were foolish and insignificant Humans, frail pawns for him to use and manipulate at will.


    ¡°Are you finished? We¡¯ll be late,¡± he told me in a warning tone, looking worried, and I almost dropped my glass.


    ¡°Late?¡± Joanne asked inquisitively.


    ¡°Yeah. I promised I¡¯d help Mariane in the library. I guess it will be a great opportunity to better understand how things work around here,¡± he replied and I put down the glass with too much strength, shuddering at the sound of my name.


    ¡°I¡¯m ready!¡± I growled between clenched teeth and stood up. I heard Sarah and Joanne¡¯s laments at being deprived of Gabriel¡¯s company and he promised them that they¡¯d talk again later. I stormed out of the cafeteria, trying not to give in to the shivering his presence caused me.


    ¡°What do you want?¡± I asked, sure that he was following me, even though I couldn¡¯t hear anything remotely similar to the sound of footsteps.


    ¡°Nothing, really.¡± His reply was in that soft tone that, even so, I could clearly hear above any other sound. ¡°You, on the other hand, were probably thinking about sitting there all through lunch break. You don¡¯t want to see that Human, thinking you won¡¯t be able to explain your presence there, afraid they might think that you¡¯re stalking him. But, if I¡¯m with you, we¡¯ll only look like two cousins having a nice talk.¡±


    I froze on the spot, the cafeteria long behind us. He intended to follow me outside as my alibi? But that meant what I feared the most! I¡¯d be taking him near Michael again! I could still vividly recall how scared I¡¯d been just the day before, thinking about what he might do to him.


    He walked by me like a shadow, always in that long, calm pace.


    ¡°You have nothing to worry about. I¡¯m only trying to uphold my part of the Contract,¡± he stated without stopping. ¡°Coming?¡±


    I had to force my feet to move and followed him, knowing he¡¯d go to Michael with or without me. With me around I could more or less keep things under control, or at least try.


    When we stepped outside the pattern that had followed him all day repeated itself once again. There were whispers, staring people and girly laughter everywhere, making me feel even more insecure and flustered. He was the talk of the school and I couldn¡¯t help thinking that it would certainly look strange, the new idol of Christ the King walking around with an insignificant girl like me at his side.


    ¡°There they are,¡± I heard him say under his breath and I hardly had time to raise my head. ¡°Hey! Michael!¡± he called out, waving at him with a pleasant smile, and I almost forgot how to breathe. To make matters worse, Michael not only heard him but also replied with a greeting and, before I could even think about what was happening, Gabriel was already moving towards their group.


    ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing!¡± I demanded in a harsh voice, practically having to run to keep up with him.


    ¡°Greeting my new friends,¡± he replied in an icy cold tone, even though he kept on smiling, and only stopped when he reached them. ¡°Hey there! Since yesterday.¡± Michael nodded politely.


    ¡°Yeah. Gabriel, right?¡± he asked but didn¡¯t wait for confirmation. ¡°Hi there, Mariane,¡± he said, peering at me as if I were a child hiding behind her mother, and my heart jumped as my cheeks heated up.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    ¡°Hi,¡± I replied, too embarrassed for anything more, and he smiled.


    ¡°See? Haven¡¯t forgotten your name.¡± Michael sounded proud of himself and I was completely lost in his warm smile. ¡°You guys remember, right? She¡¯s the girl who saved me last Friday,¡± he told the others with a bit of exaggeration, and I quickly became the center of everyone¡¯s attention.


    ¡°Oh, yeah. The girl who came running out of nowhere,¡± recalled one of the boys and Steven greeted me with a light nod.


    ¡°And this is Gabriel, her cousin,¡± Michael went on and I sighed in relief when their gazes shifted towards him instead.


    ¡°Ah! So you¡¯re the transfer student everyone is talking about,¡± the same boy observed, staring at him from head to toe.


    ¡°Leave him alone, Francis!¡± a red-haired girl with dark-green eyes reprehended him. All smiles, she stepped forward and held out a hand, her skin soft and delicate. ¡°My name is Lauren.¡± I couldn¡¯t help notice her carefully painted nails, the same color as her lipstick.


    I held my breath when I saw him move to gently take her hand.


    ¡°Pleasure,¡± he told her with a smile and Lauren seemed to wish she could prolong that hand shake. Francis frowned, crossing his arms, obviously ticked, and the other girl approached him, jumping up and down like a child. She had white-blond hair and bright blue eyes, and looked much more energetic and outgoing than her friend. Unceremoniously grabbing their hands, she pulled the two of them apart, and hugged Gabriel¡¯s arm as if he were her doll.


    ¡°Me too! Me too!¡± she protested and looked up at him, flashing her golden eyelashes. ¡°Hi there. I¡¯m Maggie.¡±


    He laughed, a laugh I still hadn¡¯t heard in his voice and that, even though it seemed to be from amusement, made me shiver more than his usual deep chuckles.


    ¡°Hi, Maggie.¡±


    ¡°You two. You¡¯re completely hopeless,¡± Michael criticized, still smiling, and Maggie squeezed Gabriel¡¯s arm against her full breasts as if he belonged to her. ¡°Well, Gabriel, I¡¯m Michael, you already know. And these are Steven and Francis.¡± Gabriel nodded, although Francis looked determined not to acknowledge his presence any more than he already had done. ¡°But tell me. What do you think of our school?¡±


    ¡°Very big. Great facilities,¡± he replied in his short version, since he¡¯d already answered that same question dozens of times, and Michael laughed, noticing his tedious tone.


    ¡°I see your first days haven¡¯t been easy.¡±


    ¡°It was to be expected. There¡¯s never been transfers this late in the year,¡± Steven pointed out.


    ¡°It was an emergency and a special favor,¡± Gabriel replied.


    ¡°And what classes are you attending?¡± Michael inquired, sounding curious. I clutched my hands together, too nervous to stand still. Michael was right there, right beside me ... so close! Suddenly it was like I had also become part of his world, and those trivial questions were music to my ears.


    ¡°Since I came in late, I really didn¡¯t know what to pick. So I decided to enroll in the same classes as Mari,¡± he replied and Michael¡¯s green eyes turned to me. Sure everyone else was also looking at me, but all I could see was him.


    ¡°I already know you¡¯re taking History. That¡¯s where you were going the first time we met.¡±


    I nodded a little too enthusiastically and he laughed, leaving me certain that I¡¯d just done something stupid.


    ¡°Besides that we also have English Literature, English and Philosophy,¡± Gabriel added as I could hardly speak.


    ¡°I see. All literature classes,¡± he noted, still looking at me, and I blushed even deeper. ¡°I, on the other hand, am all sciences.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± I replied on impulse and immediately bit my tongue. He looked intrigued and I stammered looking for an excuse. ¡°Um ... I mean ... well, you were going up to the second floor, right? There¡¯s only laboratories up there, right?¡± I asked with the slight impression my voice sounded too high-pitched, and he smiled again.


    ¡°True. Still, taking those kinds of classes, I¡¯m sure you enjoy a good book,¡± he concluded and I nodded, not wanting to risk saying something wrong again. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s great! These guys here all think the only thing books are good for is to gather dust,¡± he commented, nodding towards his friends, and some protests were heard.


    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡± Francis grumbled and Lauren approached us holding on to Michael¡¯s arm.


    ¡°Agreed! That¡¯s not fair!¡± she complained with a beautiful pout.


    ¡°Not fair! Coming from you, who¡¯s always asking me for my notes so you won¡¯t have to even smell the insides of a book?¡± he declared and my heart hurt because he wasn¡¯t pulling away, or shaking her off, or anything that would simply send her flying somewhere else!


    ¡°Michael, this may come to you as a shock but, in truth, there are much better things to do in life than burning eyelashes for no apparent reason,¡± Steven added in his calm tone and Maggie jumped up and down still glued to Gabriel.


    ¡°That¡¯s so true!¡±


    Michael sighed, looking defeated, and winked at me making me blush all the way to my ears.


    The talk went from books to movies, which everyone else seemed to think much more interesting pastime, and they started discussing the most recent box-office titles. I couldn¡¯t help feeling dumbfounded when Gabriel joined in, apparently knowing more about the subject than Michael, and certainly much more than me. Still, to my relief, surrounded by all of them, I realized his dark presence was practically lost, consumed by Michael¡¯s warm brightness. And instinctively I knew that that was the reason why so many people naturally gathered around him. Michael brought light and warmth to all those he smiled at or greeted.


    I hated the sound of the bell as much as I hated the sound of my alarm clock in the morning. Michael and his friends said their farewells, since they still had classes, and we agreed to meet again the following day.


    I could hardly contain my excitement as I watched them walk away and soon there were only the two of us standing outside.


    Away from Michael¡¯s light, the cold terror of his presence began consuming me again.


    ¡°I¡¯m going home,¡± he said with a sigh, apparently tired.


    ¡°I ... I still have...¡± I started and ended shutting up. Why was I trying to explain myself to him? He glance my way and I felt like someone was burning me with hot irons, even though I kept my eyes pinned to the ground, trying as hard as I could to keep the memory of Michael¡¯s gentle face brightly alive in my mind.


    Gabriel didn¡¯t say another word. And, in silence, turned his back to me and walked away, leaving me alone and shaking.

 Chapter 3 - Part 7

    Part 7


    The following morning went on much the same way. In the short period of an hour, since going down to the kitchen until finally getting to my classroom, I managed to panic twice, get angry at every word he said, stammer every now and then, think I¡¯d end up throwing up and curse his existence all the way to the school gates. By the time Joanne greeted me cheerfully I was already feeling exhausted and my morning had barely begun.


    The high point of the day was, as to be expected, lunchtime.


    As agreed Gabriel and I joined Michael and his friends outside, and we were happily greeted. After all, they belonged to the same world of famous beautiful people. Only I stood out of place.


    To my misery, I found out that those short moments were the only thing that made facing the torture my everyday routine had become worthwhile. And when Michael reached into his bag and pulled out a book and handed it to me, I wanted to die right there and then.


    I hugged the book he¡¯d lent me the rest of the afternoon, smelling its white pages like an obsessive mad woman. I could still feel his perfume, and imagining him touching those pages, reading them, made me float above any dark cloud. By reading that book I felt I could reach some occult part of him; reading the same story he¡¯d read and, who knows, sharing the same emotions. To me that bounded pile of paper was like a sacred key to a little bit of his secret world.


    I went back home as soon as classes were over, completely forgetting the possibility of having to share my house with him. Had I remembered it I¡¯d probably stayed in the library like the previous day. But he wasn¡¯t home.


    I smiled in pure bliss as I lay down on my bed opening Michael¡¯s book on the first page. The story was basically a romance and, even before reaching the end, I¡¯d already guessed that everything would end well, like in a fairy tale.


    The sound of the front door closing made me put down the book and go downstairs to greet my mom. I stopped before reaching the bottom of the stairs and she smiled up at me.


    ¡°Hi, Mari. How was your day?¡± she asked in an obvious good mood.


    ¡°Was okay.¡±


    ¡°Gabriel came to pick me up again,¡± she explained, noticing my distrustful expression. ¡°Even though I¡¯d already told you there was no need for that!¡± she added looking back at him.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s not safe for a lady to be walking around at night all by herself,¡± he stated and Rachel shrugged, as if she¡¯d given up arguing with him. Once more anger burned inside me. How could he say something like that with that serious expression? The only dangerous monster I knew was him!


    ¡°But come! Let¡¯s get something to eat. I¡¯m famished and have good news to tell you,¡± she announced reaching out her hand and I took it.


    Sitting at the table, our plates filled with tuna salad, Rachel took her time asking us about school, if everything was all right, if anything special had happened. I just answered with a short ¡®yes¡¯ or ¡®no¡¯, while he went about describing in detail things that had never even happened.


    I was about to stand up to clear the plates and exchange our salad bowls for some fruit when Rachel¡¯s hand held mine, surprising me and captivating my attention. I eased back into my chair, growing more apprehensive by the minute, and recalled the last time I¡¯d seen that expression on her face ¡ª when she¡¯d informed me that she and my dad had decided to get a divorce. For a moment I thought she was about to tell me that she was getting married, or that someone was having a baby, or something like that, and I readied myself for the shock, trying not to react too poorly to whatever came my way. On the other side of the table Gabriel remained calm, his expression empty of any emotions, once more the perfect statue, making me believe he already knew what she was about to tell me.


    ¡°Mari, you know yesterday I had a dinner meeting, right?¡± she asked me in a careful tone that only made me even more restless. ¡°So ... the gentlemen present were all very important people. They saw my new project and were quite well impressed. I think I¡¯ve never been so praised in my entire life!¡± she added, laughing lightly, her eyes filled with pride. ¡°They made me a work proposition,¡± she reveled and I empathized with her obvious happiness.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°But that¡¯s great, mom!¡± She nodded and squeezed my hand.


    ¡°Yeah! It¡¯s an once in a lifetime chance and something that will promote my career beyond measure!¡± Only then did I notice that something was still amiss.


    ¡°And? Did you take it?¡± I asked. The light that had filled her eyes became dimmer.


    ¡°No. Not yet. I wanted to talk with you first,¡± she replied and I frowned, trying to understand what was going on, more and more certain that things weren¡¯t as easy as they sounded.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°They want me to go to Paris for six months.¡± It felt as if someone had just fired a gun at me. ¡°They¡¯ll pay for everything ¡ª travel expenses, place to stay, food, car. I¡¯ll be able to attend any workshops I want free of charge, and I¡¯ll be participating in one of the biggest projects in Europe,¡± she went on excitedly, but I could hardly hear her.


    Paris! And leave everything behind? The school that I¡¯d finally managed to get used to; Stephanie, Joanne and the others ... worst of all, Michael! Just thinking about it, the pain was unbearable. And how could I move to Paris? What about my studies? I¡¯d never been that strong at French. Above all, I did not want to leave London!


    ¡°And so I¡¯ve been thinking,¡± she added in a more serious tone. ¡°If you¡¯re against it, I won¡¯t go. You¡¯re my daughter and, as much as I like my work, or as much as our life may improve if I take this job, there¡¯s nothing more important than you.¡±


    ¡°But you jut said it was an once in a life chance,¡± I muttered and she smiled kindly.


    ¡°Still, you¡¯re more important than any of that,¡± she reaffirmed and I couldn¡¯t help blushing. ¡°But then I thought of another solution. Something that a few days ago would never have even crossed my mind. But now everything¡¯s different.¡± I listened eagerly. ¡°Most parents with kids your age think teenagers of seventeen, eighteen years old are basically adults. In my opinion they¡¯re not adults enough to be left home alone for six months, while their mom is working on the other side of the ocean. However, as things stand, should you stay, you wouldn¡¯t be staying on your own. You¡¯d have Gabriel to keep you company and lend you a hand, if needed. And that is something I¡¯d be willing to compromise with.¡±


    I opened my mouth, wordless, and forgot to breathe. My mind fought desperately not to drown and I looked at him, trying to make sense of what my mother had just said. His statue-like expression opened into a cold cynic smile, and I clearly saw the dark corner he¡¯d, once more, pulled me into.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to answer right away. Just think about it and we can talk again tomorrow,¡± she said, all understanding. And, as I sat there, unable to utter a single word, she got up and cleared the dishes. ¡°Anyway, it¡¯s as I¡¯ve told you. Sure it would be a wonderful experience, but it¡¯s not something I can¡¯t live without. And to tell you the truth, even knowing you wouldn¡¯t be alone, leaving you here it¡¯s still not something I¡¯m completely comfortable with.¡±


    I stared blankly at the red and white checks of the tablecloth. Her words, just now, had nothing to do with the enthusiasm that had burned in her eyes just a few moments ago ... and I was the only one to blame. I bit my lower lip making my stunned mind consider what she¡¯d just suggested. Anyway, what difference would it make? That thing could appear and disappear at will, not to mention that I didn¡¯t even know what other powers he might have. My mother¡¯s presence in that house wouldn¡¯t change anything. She¡¯d never be able to protect me, I concluded bitterly. Quite the opposite! At least in Paris, away from all that mess, she¡¯d be safe. And, with some luck, for better or for worse, everything would be over in six months¡¯ time. Besides it was obvious she really wanted to accept the offer. And I recalled how she¡¯d always tried her best to be a good mother, without having to give up her professional dreams. Unlike my father, who had fully devoted himself to work, Rachel had never missed a school festival or parents¡¯ day. Her schedules were tight, making her relinquish luxuries like personal time, but she always managed to wake up earlier than me, just to make me breakfast. I could hardly be childish and selfish now that she needed my support. After all, it was only for six months.


    I took a deep breath as I found my answer and smiled as honestly as I could when I looked up at her.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need to think, mom,¡± I told her and she turned to face me, looking surprised to hear me speak in such a clear tone. ¡°You can go to Paris. Sure, I¡¯ll miss you lots, since we¡¯ve never been apart before and everything. But it¡¯s only for six months. And, like you said, I won¡¯t be alone.¡± I was fully aware of Gabriel¡¯s persistent smile, and Rachel looked like she couldn¡¯t believe what she¡¯d just heard.


    ¡°You sure? I mean, you don¡¯t have to force yourself to accept it, or anything,¡± she stammered and I smiled again.


    ¡°Of course I¡¯m sure. It¡¯s something you really want to do, right? I¡¯m very happy to know how important I am to you, but I don¡¯t want to feel like I¡¯ve completely taken over your life! It is your life, after all.¡±


    She threw her arms around me, crushing my head against her chest, and laughed happily.


    ¡°Do you have any idea of just how much I love you, Mari?¡± she said in between laughs and turned to look at Gabriel. ¡°Ain¡¯t I the luckiest to have a daughter like her?¡± she asked him but he didn¡¯t answer and simply kept smiling.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 4 - Part 1

    Part 1


    The rest of the week went by rather peacefully, especially when taking into consideration I had a monster, evoked through a Magic Circle, as a cousin.


    As to be expected, Rachel started preparing for her departure, which would take place on Sunday, and was even busier than usual. Still I¡¯d never seen her more excited about something, and more that once I found myself smiling as I watched her, thinking that she almost looked more like a child, to whom someone had promised a big party, than an adult about to leave on a long business trip.


    As for me, the next days were brightened up by my daily talks with Michael. I returned the book he¡¯d lent me and let him borrow one of mine in return. In truth I wished that, by reading it, he¡¯d learn a bit more about me, the same way I¡¯d learned about him. So I carefully pondered and chose a poetry book that was slightly romantic but not exclusively, and was beyond myself with happiness when he accepted it and promised he¡¯d read it during the weekend.


    I spent Saturday shopping with Rachel in a very feminine mother-daughter date that would have to last as a reminder for the next weeks. Of course she made a point to assure me she¡¯d be back on Easter break, which was just a few days away. But, somehow, I thought it unlikely.


    When we returned home it was already dark. We were both tired and our arms filled with bags. But the moment we opened the door a delicious, mouth-watering smell greeted us.


    Rachel rushed to the kitchen as I stood by the door in disbelief. Gabriel had cooked us dinner.


    We ate to the sound of my mother¡¯s praises while I suspiciously sniffed every forkful. And yet I just couldn¡¯t deny that his baked fish was simply scrumptious.


    Before going to bed we helped her with her suitcases, since she would have to be at the airport at eleven-thirty in the morning, and I received the tightest good-night hug of my entire life.


    I didn¡¯t sleep much. I¡¯d been trying to keep her departure out of my mind as much as possible, but now, the night before it really happened, I couldn¡¯t help feeling anxious, wondering if I¡¯d really made the right choice.


    Since I could hardly get any sleep, as morning arrived I could easily heard the alarm clock coming from the next room. And so I got up, putting on the first thing my hands found on top of my chair, and hurried downstairs to make breakfast, certain she¡¯d take a bit longer than usual. When Rachel finally came down, the toast was ready and I was vigorously stirring some scrambled eggs.


    The three of us sat at the table and Rachel began enumerating her long list of recommendations ¡ª Be careful with the door and windows; Don¡¯t forget to water the plants; Don¡¯t forget to call Dad at least once a week (Gabriel should call his mother); Don¡¯t forget to reply to the e-mails she promised to send on a daily basis; Always keep our cells close by, since she¡¯d already entered her contact number in France.


    I sighed during the endless roll. Gabriel nodded obediently at every new task Rachel remembered.


    When we finished breakfast it was almost nine and the taxi we¡¯d booked the day before was already at the door. A paunchy man came out from behind the steering wheel to help Gabriel with the suitcases while Rachel hugged me tightly, leaving me lost in her warm embrace.


    ¡°Anything happens you tell me right away! I¡¯ll immediately leave everything and jump on the first flight home,¡± she assured me in a choked voice and I took a deep breath to keep myself from being dragged down by her emotions.


    ¡°Everything will be fine. And you¡¯ll be back in a few weeks, right?¡± I reminded her and she nodded, smiling.


    ¡°You¡¯re my dear girl!¡±


    ¡°Jesus, mom! You almost sound like you¡¯ll never see me again!¡± I criticized her and she released me from her tight embrace.


    ¡°That has nothing to do with it!¡± she retorted, caressing my face. I smiled trying to erase part of the preoccupation I saw in her eyes. ¡°Take good care of yourself. Every now and then I¡¯ll be depositing money into your account, but if you need more just tell me.¡±


    ¡°All right. Anyway, we¡¯ll be talking to each other almost every day, right?¡±


    ¡°Blessed be the Internet!¡± she agreed and the sound of the trunk closing told us that our time was up.


    ¡°You¡¯re sure you don¡¯t want me to take you to the airport?¡± I asked, suddenly wanting to extend the time we had together as much as possible, but she shook her head.


    ¡°I hate airport farewells,¡± she told me and kissed me gently on the forehead. ¡°Be well, dear.¡±


    ¡°Have a safe trip. And call as soon as you arrive!¡± I reminded her and she turned to Gabriel.


    ¡°Anything just call me, okay?¡± she asked, placing a hand over his arm to reinforce her words and he nodded.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Aunt,¡± he replied in that velvety voice and I held my breath when I saw him lean over to place a kiss on her cheek. The mark on my wrist burned at the reminder of how painful his touch could be, but the kiss he had given her had been just a Human kiss. Rachel replied with a smile and entered the car.


    I watched as she instructed the driver and then waved goodbye as the taxi took off.


    I stood there, watching it drive down the road, and even after it was gone from sight, and only returned to the real world when Gabriel walked by me to go back inside.


    I breathed heavily as I considered the possibility of running away from home, and sighed at how foolish my idea sounded, ending up following him and closing the door behind me.


    I stood by the door for a moment, trying to incorporate the idea that my mom was really gone, and then raised my head, gathering all the anger I felt for him in order to round up enough courage to march towards the living room. I stopped again by the door. He was tranquilly sitting on an armchair, his elbow on the wide arm, head resting on his white and elegant hand. He was looking towards the open window as if watching something interesting, but when I followed his gaze there was nothing outside but naked treetops against a dark-gray sky.


    ¡°Are you ...¡± I started, trying my wits about me. ¡°Are you staying here?¡± I asked and he sighed, turning to face me.


    ¡°Again back to the questions?¡± He sounded bored and I bit my tongue.


    ¡°Am I not allowed?¡±


    ¡°Sure. Sure you are,¡± he replied softly. ¡°I, on the other hand, might not answer.¡± I allowed myself a moment to breathe and decided I wasn¡¯t about to give up.


    ¡°So? Are you? Staying,¡± I insisted.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Does that mean you don¡¯t want me here?¡±


    I clenched my fists so hard the nails bit into my skin.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. I don¡¯t want you here!¡± I confirmed and he smiled, looking amused.


    ¡°Interesting. And I¡¯m sorry to disappoint you. But I can¡¯t stay anywhere else.¡±


    ¡°Why? Because ... of the Contract? Are you afraid I might runway or something?¡± I tried to guess and he raised a thin eyebrow.


    ¡°Runaway? You couldn¡¯t even if you tried. I¡¯ll always find you,¡± he replied in his smooth tone and I couldn¡¯t help shivering, the air around me growing colder. That was the voice of the monster, different from the voice he normally used with Rachel or with my friends at school.


    ¡°Then why?¡± I insisted and his smile became more intense.


    ¡°You really do want me out of here.¡± He acted like that was the funniest part, and I frowned, annoyed at the certainty that he was mocking me. ¡°I can¡¯t. Not now, anyway. Why?¡± he anticipated my question and I closed my mouth as he went on. ¡°Because the Circle is here. Yes, the Circle you raised.¡±


    ¡°But ... it was destroyed,¡± I argued and he took a deep breath leaning backwards.


    ¡°Just because you can¡¯t see it doesn¡¯t mean it isn¡¯t there,¡± he pointed out, and I remembered that, in the beginning, others also hadn¡¯t been able to see him, although he¡¯d definitely been there to torment me! ¡°Any more questions?¡± he asked, looking at me sideways and I averted my gaze.


    ¡°Yes, but you won¡¯t answer them.¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s about the Contract, the only thing you need to know is what we both agreed upon,¡± he stated dryly and the harshness of his voice made me take a step back.


    Everything was silent for a moment, until I decided to take that chance ¡ª since I was still able to think clearly ¡ª to ask him some of the questions that had been tumbling around in my head for the last few days.


    ¡°Do you ... do you really need to eat?¡± I stammered and his black eyes opened wide as he stared at me in complete disbelief. Then his laughter filled the room, making me jump, and I couldn¡¯t help realizing that that was the first time I really heard him laugh. The sound was deep and rich, making my eardrums vibrate, and all thought escaped my mind for an instant.


    He looked at me, noticing that I remained serious and unmoving, and took a deep breath, running a hand over his face.


    ¡°All right,¡± he sighed, sounding as if he¡¯d just conceded to some silent agreement, and rested his head on his hand once again, seeming to gather enough patience to give me a reply. ¡°To tell you the truth, no.¡± My mind took its time to realize he¡¯d just answered me. ¡°But it¡¯s something ... interesting to do,¡± he added and I asked myself what ¡®interesting¡¯ ameant to him, since it was a word he seemed to use quite often. And yet I couldn¡¯t find the courage to ask it out loud, fearing his reaction. Sure, I was proud of the small tolerance I¡¯d been able to develop to his presence. But I didn¡¯t want to push it beyond my limited ability to deal with it.


    ¡°And to sleep?¡±


    ¡°Not always. In other words, not as frequently as you. But I¡¯d have the say, yes, I do need to sleep,¡± he clarified with a cold smile. I breathed in and out a few times to focus my mind on what was important and to ignore the fear that grew inside me like a dark wave I couldn¡¯t control.


    ¡°My mother? My friends?¡± I muttered and he watched me for an instant, trying to decipher my question.


    ¡°Oh, nothing much. I just manipulated their memories a little bit,¡± he explained in such a matter-of-fact way that it made me sick. ¡°I¡¯ll put everything as it was once our business is finished.¡±


    I nodded. That much I¡¯d already gathered and so I went on to my next question.


    ¡°And you, now? An illusion?¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± he inquired looking at his own hand as if it could hold the answer. ¡°Ah, you mean if the me you see right now is an illusion?¡± I nodded. ¡°No. What you see is real.¡±


    ¡°But ... you¡¯re ... different.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± He stood up, making me step backwards as fast as I could until I hit the doorframe. ¡°It¡¯s not an illusion. This just isn¡¯t my true form.¡± He remained completely at ease and closed his eyes. And right before my perplexed gaze his hair began to move, as if ta breeze rippled through its dark strands, and started to slowly grow, as if it had been tied and folded all that time. The shiny locks fell softly over his shoulders, sliding like dark water down his chest and back, and over his waist line. And when he opened his eyes again, they weren¡¯t black any longer, but crystal violet instead.


    My legs shook uncontrollably and my knees buckled. Before I could understand what had happened, I was already on the floor, staring at him in pure terror, as he smiled softly, running a hand down his long hair.


    ¡°I better not bring out my wings. I¡¯m not in the mood to rebuild your living room.¡± His look suggested it was the furniture¡¯s fault for being of such poor quality, and I noticed I¡¯d stopped breathing. He looked at me for a moment and seemed slightly annoyed. ¡°Tsk. Had I known you¡¯d be left in that deplorable state, I wouldn¡¯t have shown you any of this,¡± he remarked as if someone had just stolen his favorite toy, and sat back on the armchair, looking outside once again, as if those treetops had suddenly more interest than me.


    For a while, after he went quiet, all I could hear was the crazed beating of my own heart. Then, as the raging thunder started to slow down, all that was left was my heavy breathing. I made myself count as I breathed in and out repeatedly, and gathered enough autonomy to look away from the nothingness I was staring into to look at the monster sitting in my living room.


    He remained completely unmoving, that perfect statue once again. His violet eyes had a slight glow about them, reflecting the light coming from the window, bringing life to that inhumanly beautiful face. This was the image I recalled from that horrific night. The hand in which he rested his head was the same that had almost choked me to death. But, even though his hair had grown longer and his eyes had changed color, he was still the same. The same creature I¡¯d been able to talk to just until a moment ago. The same that had shaken hands with half the girls at school and had just kissed my mother¡¯s cheek.


    I frowned. Why should I be more afraid of him now? Just because of two insignificant changes! There were still things I wanted to ask him!


    ¡°Where ...?¡± I begun but my lips moved silently without uttering a single word. I pressed them together and swallowed, taking a deep breath to try again. ¡°Where ... did you come from?¡± I managed to whisper and his unmoving face was once again taken by surprise. Maybe he¡¯d thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to speak again, and that I would just sit there like a broken doll.


    ¡°Because you want to send me back?¡± he responded coldly and I couldn¡¯t help shivering. In truth I wanted that more than anything. And who could blame me? However, that hadn¡¯t been the reason behind my question.


    ¡°Um ...¡± I cleared my throat and tried to explain myself as best as I could. ¡°The ... book,¡± I tried, making use of all my self-control, but the fear that he might get angry was like a rope tied around my neck.


    He sat silent as before, trying to understand what I meant with my few mumbled words, and I thought I saw him frown.


    ¡°If you¡¯re asking me if I came from the book, the answer is no. That book is just a bunch of paper like all the other books lying around,¡± he answered dryly.


    ¡°But what then?¡± I insisted, wondering if it was a good idea trying to pursue the matter.


    ¡°The spoken word has a great power. One that most of you foolish Humans ignore.¡± I tried as hard as I could to make sense of what he¡¯d just told me.


    ¡°Are you saying that even without the book ...¡±


    ¡°In your case you can even say that that book saved your life. If not for that Protection Circle, you¡¯d most likely have been torn apart by the strength of the words, since you¡¯re not even a Magic User,¡± he added with some despise.


    I didn¡¯t quite understand, except for the fact that the Circle that, until then, I¡¯d thought completely useless, had actually saved my life.


    I hesitated before voicing my next question. I dreaded him liking it even less. Maybe he¡¯d end up destroying the living room after all, or worse, the entire house. But not me. He couldn¡¯t harm me, right? I repeated that same thought a few times in my head, as if it were some Magic Spell.


    ¡°And die? Can you?¡±


    He half closed his eyes until they were nothing but two thin slits. And if he did feel angry, he managed to restrain it perfectly. Unlike the fierce blazing violence that emanated from him every time he got mad, the air around me seemed to grow even colder.


    ¡°I can,¡± he answered in his deep voice and for a moment those words filled the room. ¡°However, it¡¯s not something none of you Humans can hope to accomplish before I tear you to pieces.¡± This time his words were clearly a threat and I was sure I would have fallen on my knees hadn¡¯t already been on the floor. He stood up with a frightening fast movement that made my heart jump, and I cowered against the doorframe. ¡°And enough of this game. I¡¯m going out.¡± Before I could say anything else he disappeared right in front of me, leaving in his place a soft rain of shiny dark dust.


    When I returned to my senses, I dragged myself to the kitchen and put two frozen pizzas in the oven. I didn¡¯t feel like cooking, a strange emptiness filling me inside, leaving my mind in blessed silence. I sat on a chair, arms on the table, and waited.


    I¡¯d learned a few important things, and as much about him as about myself. Above all I had come to understand I¡¯d never be able to get rid of him on my own. He was not some spirit one might exorcise. He was flesh and blood, able of the most basic human activities, including dying. And yet, he was far from being Human. That last fact had become especially clear in my mind. Since the night I¡¯d evoked him he¡¯d become my cousin Gabriel. And the ease with which he had mingled in with the Human world had almost diluted the truth. He was, nevertheless, the same from that night. The same creature with dark, long hair, violet eyes and wings of destruction.


    At that moment I had only one last idea of how to find a solution to my problem ¡ª I¡¯d have to go back to that store, hoping to meet that old woman again. With some luck she¡¯d be able to tell me a bit more about the matter.


    It was only after the pizzas were ready that I noticed I had made lunch for two.

 Chapter 4 - Part 2

    Part 2


    Like at lunch, I had dinner all by myself, grateful for the peace and quiet that, just a few days ago, would have left me kind of depressed. After tiding up the kitchen I decided to choose which book I¡¯d lend Michael next, a decision too important to be made lightly and without proper consideration.


    I was sitting on the ground, surrounded by some of my favorite books, when the sound of small bell reached my ears. I jumped, startled, in an instinctive flight response, and hit the bookshelf. Too on edge after all I''d been through the last few days, my frightened gaze scanned everything around me, panic threatening to overcome me, until I finally found its origin. Sitting on my bed, watching me with huge silver eyes, was a small black cat. A small golden bell hang from a thin red velvet ribbon tied around his neck.


    I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and released the tension that immediately had taken over my body.


    ¡°God, you scared me...¡± I confessed and smiled since he was still staring at me. ¡°Where did you come from? I think I closed the kitchen¡¯s window....¡± I muttered, trying to think back. I remembered opening it in the morning. I knelt on the floor and reached out, trying not to scare him. ¡°Come here, little one...¡± I said, invitingly, and he tilted his head, moving his pointy ears. I smiled, noticing he was listening and approached him slowly. ¡°I won¡¯t hurt you...¡± I reassured him, allowing him to smell my hand and, as he didn¡¯t get scared, ran a hand over his black head. His fur was thin and soft, common among young cats, and I couldn¡¯t help smiling when he closed his bright eyes, rubbing his muzzle against my hand. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re so cute!¡± I noted and held his golden bell, looking carefully for any mark, name or phone number that might tell me who his owner was. ¡°I¡¯m sure you have someone you belong to. Someone that is probably looking for you.¡±


    The kitten jumped from the bed, nimbly landing on my legs, and rubbed its lean body against my belly, purring. I laughed as I understood his obvious request for some petting and picked him up, noticing how light and soft he was.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± I asked standing up and he cuddled his head between my arms, closing his eyes contented. ¡°Let''s see what I can find downstairs.¡±


    I happily went back to the kitchen, the small cat purring in my arms but, as soon as I reached the base of the stairs another sound made me stop - footsteps!


    He was back, I thought as my heart jumped into another crazy run and my smile faded away. Tension filled my muscles and, as if he had also felt it, the small cat stop purring, watching me closely with his large silver eyes.


    ¡°Everything is fine...¡± I said with a smile, trying to reassure him, and walked over to the living room


    I stopped by the door and couldn¡¯t help staring inside, completely stunned. He was standing by the window, watching the night sky, long, black hair falling down his back over a garnet shirt. He looked at me with his disturbing violet gaze and fixed the small animal curled up in my arms with an intrigued expression. Reflexively, I held him even closer to my chest, as if that would be enough to protect him, and tried to divert his attention.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    ¡°What¡¯s all this?¡± I asked, looking at all the bags filling the room, scattered all over the place, and he faced me once again.


    ¡°Your new wardrobe,¡± he replied in his usual deep and complacent tone.


    ¡°My... what?!¡±


    ¡°Your new ward...¡±


    ¡°I heard what you said!¡± I cut off slightly raising my voice. I clearly felt as anger started to gather inside me and allowed it to take over, knowing that that was the only way I was able to tell him what I really thought.


    He looked surprised for a few seconds, but then seemed to lose all interest in our talk and, taking two bags off the armchair, sat down.


    ¡°I¡¯m not wearing any of this!¡± I stated in my most authoritarian tone and he shrugged, indifferently.


    ¡°Then you can go out naked. It¡¯ll be quite interesting,¡± he added with a light smile that only made me angrier.


    ¡°I have a wardrobe full of clothes.¡±


    ¡°Not anymore, you don¡¯t.¡± I opened my mouth in disbelief but it didn¡¯t even occur to doubt him.


    ¡°What ... ?!¡±


    ¡°Did you not hear me?¡± he asked me sarcastically, and I didn¡¯t know what to answer. ¡°It¡¯s rather simple. If you want to seduce a man be a woman,¡± he said as if stating the obvious, and I kept standing there, gaping, my ability to think clearly escaping me completely. ¡°And now that that nuisance is gone, we can finally start working towards fulfilling this Contract.¡±


    ¡°Nuisance ... ?¡± I repeated aghast. ¡°My mother ... ? Was that your ... ?¡± He smiled, looking proud of himself, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°It was becoming tiresome, having to restrain myself for such long periods of time. Having to put up with it at school is quite enough,¡± he confessed. ¡°Besides now I¡¯ll have more room to move. And, anyway, she obviously went happily, even if it meant leaving you behind.¡±


    ¡°How ... ?¡± I asked, more to myself than really expecting an answer. I couldn¡¯t help wonder if his powers had no limit!


    ¡°It really wasn¡¯t all that hard. Your mother is, in fact, quite talented. All I had to do was place the right people at the right place. A small suggestion and everything was solved,¡± he explained with a frightening simplicity.


    I felt lost. He was manipulating everything and everyone around me. All because of that stupid Contract!


    The small cat resting on my arms jumped to the ground, landing gracefully, and the sound of its small bell filed the room as it ran towards Gabriel. I wished I could stop it, afraid of what he might do to him, but all I could do was reach out my hand, unable to take a single step to help him. With a nimble jump he landed on Gabriel¡¯s lap, purring as he laid his head on his front paws, his thin tail curled around his small body. I froze in place when I saw him raise his pale hand over the little kitten, but he simply gently caressed his soft black fur. The kitten purred even louder and he smiled, stealing my breath away. I¡¯d never seen him smile like that ... Worse!, I¡¯d never even thought it possible! But the absence of that choking feeling of panic and the sudden fading of the anger I normally felt towards him was even scarier. Not wanting to think about any of that any longer, I turned away and ran upstairs, to the safety of my room.


    I looked at the books scattered all over the floor and knew that now I¡¯d be unable to choose one to lend Michael. Refusing to open my wardrobe to verify if what he had told me was true, I decided to go to bed and try to forget all about it, even if just for a few hours.

 Chapter 5 - Part 1

    Chapter Five


    DES


    ¨C The Slave-Gods superseded. The Vision of the Stl of Revealing, abolishing the Aeon of the Slave-Gods ¨C


    ¡°I smile ironically before my own lie.


    I look at the world around me searching for someone that will be able to see beyond my make-believe act. But no one sees me... no one listens... no one feels me...


    and so, in a mute scream, I fall in this dark precipice... and I go insane.¡±


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    When the alarm clock rang just the thought of what awaited me outside made me wish I¡¯d never have to wake up again.


    I sighed, sitting up, and looked at the small black fur ball curled beside my pillow.


    ¡°Hey ... How did you get here?¡± I asked, petting him between his ears, and the little kitten opened his silver eyes, stretching and yawning as he showed a perfect line of small sharp teeth. Purring soundly, he rubbed his muzzle against my hand and I couldn¡¯t help smiling. ¡°No time to play with you now,¡± I said, gently placing him on the floor, and stood up to open the curtains for another gray day.


    With the bleak reminder of last night¡¯s talk I readied myself for the worst and opened my wardrobe. It was empty, as to be expected, and even though I¡¯d known what was in stored for me that morning, I couldn¡¯t help feeling outraged as I opened the draws finding them completely empty as well. With the exception of the one containing my underwear and some old clothes I normally used around the house, everything else was gone.


    ¡°Ah! At least I have the right to choose which bra to wear!¡± I protested, annoyed, and the sound of sharp claws against the wooden door made me look back. I sighed, leaving my morning annoyance to open the door, and the kitten slipped outside smelling and sticking his nose in one of the bags waiting in the corridor.


    Picking them up, I didn¡¯t even have to guess what they contained. Deprived of his new toy, the kitten followed me back inside, his bell ringing softly, his bright eyes watching me as I emptied the bags on my bed. I recalled having seen many others like these, scattered around the living room, and supposed he had left those by my door knowing I wouldn¡¯t have anything to wear.


    Against my will, I put on a trapezoidal dark-blue skirt, too short for my taste, and a white shirt of which I had to cut off the store¡¯s tag. On top of it I wore a blue pullover that, unlike mine, always two sizes up, fitted me perfectly, and put on black wool stockings. I grumbled as I noticed that not even my shoes had escaped the purge and was forced to wear the new pair he¡¯d gotten me, with a low heel and a delicate bow on the front.


    I looked at myself in the mirror and took a hand to my face in complete despair. I looked like a walking broomstick, I thought. My legs too thin, my knees too bony, no chest to talk about... Angry, I threw the wardrobe¡¯s door with so much strength that it closed and opened again. I washed my face and combed my straw-like hair that never looked good, and wished I could just put back my pajamas and return to bed.


    The small kitten watched me by the bathroom door and I picked it up taking a deep breath.


    ¡°If I start missing school mom will worry,¡± I sighed, mentally preparing myself for the terrible day ahead, and went downstairs, too aware of my new shoes, trying as hard as I could not to fall from my new heels.


    I peered into the kitchen before going in and felt relieved when I didn¡¯t see him. Placing the kitten on the floor I looked for a bowl that I could use to give him some milk. I noticed last day¡¯s dishes, all washed, on the rack. He¡¯d eaten the extra pizza I¡¯d left in the oven and I couldn¡¯t help remember how he¡¯d said that eating was interesting.


    I washed my hands and, with a sight, set the table for two.


    Long calm footsteps announced his arrival and I readied myself to face him. He came in without a word, taking his usual place, and I placed the plate with the toasts on the center of the table, looking for some juice in the fridge.


    I heard him bite the crunchy bread and dared take a peek at him. His hair was short again, his eyes black. The shirt he wore was dark-red falling over a pair of washed out jeans. Just like any other Human Being.


    ¡°May I ask when I¡¯ll be getting my clothes back?¡± I asked, not daring to sit, and he raised his head to look at me.


    ¡°When our Contract is fulfilled.¡±


    ¡°This!¡± I stated pulling at my pullover with two fingers. ¡°This won¡¯t help achieve anything! I¡¯m still too thin and too plain! Besides I have this horrible hair and eyes that seem to be staring wide at everyone I look at! You¡¯re wrong if you think that new clothes will be enough to save my appearance!¡± I exploded in complete exasperation and stood there, breathless, as if I¡¯d just spent all my energy just to throw those words at him.


    ¡°That¡¯s hardly my intention,¡± he countered completely ignoring my outburst. ¡°In truth there¡¯s nothing to be saved, since there¡¯s nothing wrong with you. The problem is that some Human Beings are too dumb and don¡¯t know how to see. You look, but you don¡¯t see. For those dumb ones, big, perceptive signs are needed. Your new clothes are just one of those signs. Their only purpose is to draw the other¡¯s attention to what¡¯s already there.¡±


    I was stunned, and incredulous ... and confused ....


    He turned his attention back to his toast and ate it calmly, chewing it slowly as if savoring every detail of every movement he made, far from the automatic way people normally ate.


    I pulled a chair and sat down, grabbing a toast.


    I had the feeling ... no... I was sure! That had been the biggest compliment I had ever received.


    The bell of the small kitten woke me from my dream-like state and I saw him jump on his lap, rubbing against him and purring, his silver eyes closed in pure bliss.


    ¡°Morning, Lea,¡± I heard him say in a low tone, and his voice was so soft that it was lost amongst all that purring.


    It was simply too much, I decided while watching him caressing the kitten¡¯s black fur. That cat... that cat was magical!, I decided in a moment of pure delusion.


    However, by the time we left home, I was already very much aware of the dark influence of his presence over me, even though I walked to school keeping my distance, constantly resizing my footsteps according to his.


    I stopped by the classroom¡¯s door for an instant and took a deep breath. I wished with all my heart that, like usual, no one would notice me, and went in. For a second it looked like my prayers had been heard but, as I crossed the room towards my desk, eyes started to follow me, making me blush and rush to my chair.


    ¡°Wow! Mari! New clothes?¡± Joanne asked enthusiastically and I just nodded. ¡°It fits you really well!¡±


    ¡°Oh, please. Stop making fun of me...¡± I pleaded between clenched teeth, making use of my hair to hide my reddened face as people were still staring at me, commenting under their breath.


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth! Steph was right. Dressed differently you totally look like someone else.¡± Joanne insisted, trying to cheer me up. I wished I could cry but, as usual, I could never do it when I wanted.


    ¡°I hate these clothes ... I hate all of this ...!¡± I muttered and, to my relief, Mr. Frederich arrived, putting an end to all the muttering talk.


    Recess came too fast and, with a deep breath, I faced Steph¡¯s curious expression that, as usually, had arrived late.


    ¡°So? What happened that gave birth to such a change?¡± she asked me all excited and I sighed.


    ¡°Nothing, really,¡± I answered, feeling more depressed by the minute. Of course I could have told her that my old clothes had magically disappeared but I thought it better and kept my mouth shut.


    ¡°What do you mean, nothing?!¡± she insisted and I knew I wouldn¡¯t get rid of the subject that easily.


    ¡°My cousin wouldn¡¯t leave me alone, until I went shopping with him,¡± I replied. If only I could cry whenever I felt sad enough to do it... By then I¡¯d be a river of tears...


    ¡°Your cousin?!¡± Steph repeated sounding even more incredulous. But then a smile touched her lips. ¡°Oh, I see we think alike, him and me.¡±


    I took a deep breath. That was nothing I hadn¡¯t already anticipated. Steph had always insisted that I dress differently, trying to make me buy new dresses and skirts every time we went out. To top it off, I¡¯d been forced to justify Gabriel leaving with me, at lunch, by telling her he¡¯d decided to support me in my unrequited love. After all, even though the others thought I spent my lunch break in the library, Steph knew the truth. And so, not surprisingly, Steph had started to see Gabriel as her ally in managing my love affairs.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡±At last! Someone to put some sense in that thick head of yours!¡± she retorted as I bagged my things. ¡°And it looks really good on you!¡±


    ¡°Spare me...!¡± I objected and she hit me lightly over the head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be a fool!¡± she retorted angrily. ¡°If it didn¡¯t look good, I¡¯d be the first to tell you! You really have a distorted image of yourself!¡±


    ¡°Come on, Steph. I¡¯m too skinny,¡± I argued placing both hands on my nearly flat chest.


    ¡°Nonsense! That¡¯s what I call having a distorted image of yourself! If someone were to hear you they¡¯d think you¡¯re anorexic or something. There are many girls around thinner than you. You have a delicate look about you, and there¡¯s nothing wrong with that. I find it very pretty. You always remind me of a ballerina.¡± She gave me a friendly smile but I sighed, deeply unhappy.


    ¡°A five-feet-tall ballerina,¡± I grumbled and she placed an arm around my shoulders, enveloping me with ease.


    ¡°Just wait and see. Michael won¡¯t be the only one staring at you,¡± she added, sounding amused, and I wanted to cry just thinking about what awaited me at lunch.


    I spent the rest of the morning hearing murmured comments behind my back and seeing people I hardly knew watching me with the most various expressions. It was as if suddenly I¡¯d become the school¡¯s novelty. It reminded me all too well of when Gabriel had just shown up, saying he¡¯d been transferred. So, as soon as class was over, I ran out the door, waiting for Steph in corridor.


    I was practically glued to her when we went down to the cafeteria. Remaining near Steph always gave me a feeling of security and, out-going and funny as she was, normally all attention was drawn towards her and I could pass by unnoticed. Even so I couldn¡¯t avoid Sarah¡¯s encouraging words, Albert¡¯s stunned look and Kevin¡¯s smile, much less Joe¡¯s idiotic comments.


    Gabriel joined us, greatly increasing my levels of stress, and I had to hold onto Joanne¡¯s arm in order to keep following the line as if nothing had happened, since Steph had abandoned me. I saw her approach Gabriel with a smile and tell him something. He smiled gently as he listened and they went on talking, probably about me. If only I had a hole I could crawl into ... All I wished for was a deep, dark one ...


    I could hardly eat anything. I looked at my practically untouched plate and felt frustrated. Eating was pretty much the only thing I could do in terms of trying to improve my looks. It was the only way to fight against the genetic code embedded in my cells, the only strategy left so I wouldn¡¯t be defeated! And now I wasn¡¯t even able to do that.


    ¡°Shall we go?¡± his soft voice echoed above the general noise of the cafeteria although he had spoken in a normal tone.


    I wished I could tell him no. I didn¡¯t want to go anywhere. However is dark gaze placed such a heavy pressure on me that I felt, should I dare refuse, I¡¯d end up being crushed. I clenched my fists and forced my trembling legs to move. Steph winked at me, confident. He said goodbye to the others, always with that nice-guy smile on his face, joking with Joanne and promising to lend Joe some CD, and walked away taking his tray.


    The moment I stood I was once more the center of attention, people looking at me from head to toe, commenting on my appearance. I raised my head and told myself I had to stop being psychotic. As bad as I might looked in those clothes, or as strange as I might be, it wasn¡¯t like I was something that rare. As for the title of unusual, the creature walking just a few feet away from me would certainly win the cup. And then I noticed that he too, was the target of many appreciative rumors.


    When we got outside he opened the door for me, like always, and fell to my side. That was the only moment of the day when the distance between us was that short; the few steps between the door and where Michael¡¯s friends talked lively. My body became tense with his proximity, my heart beating painfully fast. And yet, unlike every other day, when all I could think of was to get to our destiny as fast as possible, my steps became smaller and smaller until I couldn¡¯t walk anymore.


    ¡°I ... don¡¯t want to ...¡± I whispered, feeling like a child being forced to go to school.


    ¡°Nonsense. And I have no time to lose with nonsense. I have a Contract to fulfill,¡± he informed me coldly and my legs trembled, this time for everyone to see, since I wasn¡¯t wearing my usual baggy pants that always managed to mask it somehow. ¡°Let¡¯s go!¡± His soft tone was stronger than a shouted command and, unable to think clearly, my body simply obeyed. Steven was the first to spot us with a friendly wave.


    ¡°Gabriel!¡± he called out and Gabriel smiled, waving back as he picked up the pace.


    It was incredible, I thought. I could hardly believe we only knew each other for less than a week. Michael¡¯s group had accepted him frightening well, as if they had known him their entire lives. And to think that I had watched Michael silently, from afar, for months without even being able to greet him. It was really frustrating!


    I dragged my feet considering the possibility of simply turning back and run and, almost as if he¡¯d read my mind, Gabriel turned to me and offered me one of his fake smiles.


    ¡°What are you doing, Mari?¡± he asked, casually, but it was enough to make everyone aware of my presence.


    I walked the short distance that was left, conscious of the silence all around, and the few moments that took me to do so felt like an eternity.


    ¡°Mari?!¡± I heard Steven¡¯s voice as to confirm what he saw.


    ¡°Wow, Mari! You look great!¡± Francis, the most outgoing but also the most critical of the three added, and I asked myself if he was making fun of me. ¡°Hey Michael, don¡¯t you agree? I could hardly recognize her.¡±


    Michael ... Fearing what I was about to see, but still wanting to know, I raised my head and looked for his reaction. Michael was staring at me, his bright eyes looking surprised, even a bit lost, and I blushed from ear to ear.


    ¡°Stop gaping, Michael!¡± Steven scoffed, hitting him hard in the back, and Michael stumbled forward, coughing. Steven and Francis laughed, making fun of his embarrassment, and Lauren walked up to me reminding me of her presence.


    Her red hair fell down her shoulders in perfect curls. Her green sweater matched perfectly the color of her eyes, and the tight mini-skirt she wore brought out her perfect curves. I felt like a foolish child near her.


    She smiled lightly, an obvious and many times studied smile, and tilted her head to the side.


    ¡°Francis is right. You look great,¡± she told me in her dragged sensual voice and I wished that, at least, I¡¯d be able not to blush so easily.


    ¡°Thanks ...¡± I answered knowing that, unlike Francis, there were no doubts of how false her statement had been


    Megie didn¡¯t pay me any attention. Holding on to Gabriel¡¯s arm she seemed determined to make him notice her deep neckline. I couldn¡¯t be more grateful for that.


    I blushed even deeper when Michael approached me and I saw him take a book out of his handbag.


    ¡°Here it is. Safe and sound. I really liked it. Though some of the poems are a bit sad.¡±


    ¡°¡®Cause in life not everything is happiness ...¡± I replied caressing the book¡¯s cover, only then noticing I¡¯d said it out loud.


    ¡°True. Some of the poems talk about things we¡¯ve lost and look to retrieve, but never find, since we don¡¯t actually know where to look for. I really liked those.¡±


    I raised my head, daring to look at him, and thought I saw a glint of nostalgia in his eyes. It was only natural, I reminded myself. He was someone who didn¡¯t know where he¡¯d come from, much less who he was. I wished I could hug him and comfort his lonely expression. But Michael was used to dealing with that pain, and to do it with a smile on his face. And that was exactly what he did. His smile made my heart race, warming my whole body, making it so that nothing else really mattered.


    ¡°I brought you one of mine,¡± he informed me. ¡°It¡¯s also a poetry book. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d like this style,¡± he confessed, laughing, and I wanted to jump of joy. ¡°It would seem we have very similar tastes.¡±


    I took the book he¡¯d just lent me and hugged it against my chest.


    ¡°Thank you. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll like it,¡± I said, happy to be holding on to another little piece of him, and he placed his warm hand on my head, reminding me of how short I was. His touch brought me a sense peace as I¡¯d never felt and I wished his hand could remain there forever.


    ¡°Not fair!¡± he objected, jokingly, as if I were no more than a misbehaved child. ¡°First you read it! Then decide if you like it or not. And if you don¡¯t, say you don¡¯t!¡± he scolded me, slightly leaning forward to be closer to me, and I blushed deeply at how close our faces were. ¡°Deal?¡±


    I nodded, knowing I¡¯d never be able to answer him otherwise, and he pulled his hand away leaving a warm feeling in its place. If I could I¡¯d never wash my hair again, I thought and immediately felt like a silly fourteen-year-old lovesick schoolgirl.


    I peered towards where the others stood, worrying about what they might think if they saw me acting like that. But Gabriel had monopolized the two girls, telling them all about our shopping spree and about how I needed his help since I had no trace of fashion sense at all. As soon as they understood that he¡¯d be the one to practically pick all my clothes, Maggie started asking him what he thought would look best on her, while he looked at her from head to toe pensively, making her positively ecstatic. Francis watched from close by, obviously displeased as he spitted out unpleasant comments that only made the girls hate him even more. And Steven was just listening as he shook his head in disapproval.


    ¡°Your cousin, he¡¯s really something,¡± I heard Michael¡¯s warm voice and looked back at him. He was also watching the others but his expression was surprisingly serious.


    ¡°Ah, not really...¡±


    ¡°But he is,¡± he insisted. ¡°There¡¯s something about him that seems to attract everyone else. No one seems to be able to really dislike him, even though he¡¯s not likeable at all.¡± I was amazed at his observation skills.


    I tempted to tell him that he too possessed something like that, a kind of magnetic force that attracted people around him, albeit something quite different from what I felt from Gabriel.


    ¡°Francis doesn¡¯t seem to agree,¡± I joked, and he looked at me, laughing.


    ¡°Yeah. But Francis has his reasons ... Megie.¡±


    ¡°Megie,¡± we both said in unison and laughed together.


    It was so easy being close to him, talking with him. As if everything was right and harmonious. As if the world were an enchanted garden. Sure my heart beat faster at the sound of his laughter and my cheeks blushed every time he looked at me, but near him I was ... me. I didn¡¯t have to make myself look happy. I didn¡¯t have to make myself look serious. Near Michael I was able to really speak my mind and, most of the times, I even did it unintentional, which always led to some degree of awkwardness. Even then he accepted everything so naturally that, what I¡¯d first thought better unsaid, became the right thing the next instant.


    Michael asked me about my weekend and I told him about my mother leaving, something that I hadn¡¯t even had the chance to tell Steph. Like Rachel, he too thought it was good that, at least, I had Gabriel staying with me, and I felt bad for the limits imposed on my honesty. Right then the secret of my supposed cousin was like a dark and ugly stain I had to keep hidden from every one.


    I told him about an afternoon spent shopping, something that had never happened, and about the small kitten called Lea, that I¡¯d found wandering about the house. It was only after I told him about the cat that I noticed that, unconsciously, I¡¯d ended up accepting Gabriel¡¯s naming of the kitten.


    The sound of the bell interrupted our talk and broke my enchanted garden into pieces. My disappointment must have been so clear that Michael laughed.


    ¡°Is your next class that boring?¡±


    ¡°Ah, oh, no ...¡± I answered, embarrassed. ¡°But it was better if we could stay here ...¡± he laughed again, as if I were a child throwing a tantrum, and Gabriel kissed the other two girls goodbye.


    ¡°Only two more hours and you¡¯ll be back home,¡± Michael mentioned, trying to comfort me and I sighed. The idea of going home was even worse that going to class. ¡°Well, if we don¡¯t see each other around, see you tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°See you. And thanks for the book.¡± I added, squeezing it against my chest.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± he answered and his smile widened. ¡°Oh, and Mari, you look really great.¡±


    I stood there breathless, not knowing what to say, unable to react. I saw him walk away and my gaze followed him, stunned. The others told me goodbye, I slightly recall the echo of their voices, but I couldn¡¯t even reply. Those words, coming from him, were the only important words I had heard all day.

 Chapter 5 - Part 2

    Part 2


    ¡°That was quite the lunch break,¡± Steph whispered while our English teacher continued her lesson ignoring the overall chatter. ¡°I saw you two talking, all alone, by yourselves!¡± she added, her eyes gleaming with expectation.


    ¡°We weren¡¯t alone,¡± I corrected. ¡°The others were also there.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, miles away, I saw,¡± she insisted with a smile that implied much more than it had really happened. ¡°Your cousin is really amazing!¡±


    ¡°What does he have to do with anything?¡±


    ¡°Oh, come on, he was keeping the other sharks at bay, right? So you could have Michael Heaton all to yourself. He really tries hard!¡± I averted my gaze, frowning, annoyed at her tone of admiration. Admiration or that thing!


    By the end of English class Mark was waiting for Steph by the door. She went to him and waved at us, before they left together.


    ¡°That¡¯s really becoming a serious business,¡± Joanne observed with a mischievous smile and I nodded, agreeing.


    ¡°She looks happy.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. But when I asked her if she was thinking about dating him she told me that she still didn¡¯t know. He¡¯s completely into her,¡± Joanne added sounding impatient with Steph¡¯s indecision.


    ¡°Well, she has all the time in the world to think about it.¡±


    I returned home alone, and relieved to do so. It was enough having to walk with him in the morning.


    The house was empty. Well, not quite empty, as Lea came running to the door as soon as I closed it, his bell announcing him from a distance. I picked him up and took him to the kitchen.


    ¡°I brought you food,¡± I told the kitten dropping my shopping bag on the table. ¡°I don¡¯t know how long you¡¯ll be staying with us, but you¡¯ll have to eat, right? For now, please get by with this.¡± I poured some dry food in a small bowl. ¡°I promise I¡¯ll cook something better for you latter.¡± Lea practically jumped inside the bowl when I placed it on the ground and started eating.


    I decided to take a bath, anxious to get rid of those strange clothes and feeling really happy to be able to put on one of my old tracksuits. Afterwards I went down to the living room. I had no other choice, I thought as I looked at all the scattered bags. It was that or going to school in my pajamas. So I started carrying them up to my room, which meant going up and down more than a dozen times. I was halfway over my task when I noticed the pile of blankets my mother had lent Gabriel so he could sleep in the living room. He¡¯d told me he needed to sleep but I¡¯d never managed to gather enough courage to come down at night and check on him, just to make sure if he was really there, sleeping like any other Human Being. He could even spend his nights elsewhere, for all I knew.


    When I finished taking all the bags upstairs the mess from the living room had been transferred to my room and, with a sigh, I started to fill the empty spaces.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    There were pants, skirts and shorts, all mid season and Summer clothes, as if expecting the sunny days yet to come. There were also some warmer clothes, but nothing heavy or thick, like my Winter clothes had been. The fabrics were all soft and light. The colors ... were all colors I¡¯d never even consider using! The skirts were mostly short, except two that were longer. The blouses had beautiful necklines, and different cuts, and ribbons. And, among them was the one Steph had made me buy the last time we¡¯d gone out. It¡¯s V like neckline would certainly go down my depressing plain chest, but apparently that had been my only piece of clothing that had received his stamp of approval. ¡®To hell with the both of them!¡¯


    There were stockings and knee high socks and, besides the shoes I¡¯d wore that day, there were another four extra pairs. I looked at the collection that hardly fit in my wardrobe and was sure there were more shoes there than I would ever wear in my entire life.


    There were also coats, some short, others longer, all soft and comfy looking. In the last bag I found two scarves with gloves and beanies to match. I put one on and laughed at how silly I looked in the mirror.


    And yet ... and yet I had also thought I looked silly in the clothes I wore that day, but Michael had told me I looked great.


    I blushed and quickly put the rest of the clothes away. I looked at my refilled wardrobe and a frown marked my forehead.


    Now that I looked at it as a whole I could easily tell the dominant style. There were bows and ribbons, small patterns and laces. The cuts were all delicate, the fabrics flowing. I recalled what Steph had told me, about how frail I looked, and ground my teeth. Apparently he agreed with her, and thought the best thing to do was to dress me like a doll! In my anger I almost thought the two of them were secretly meeting to discuss that kind of stuff! And then I stopped, as my anger went ice cold when I realized I¡¯d started to think of him the same way I thought about Steph. And he was nothing like Steph! He was nothing like us!


    After putting everything away I was faced with a new dilemma - to study or to read the book Michael had lent me. I didn¡¯t have to think too hard about that one, and reading Michael¡¯s book won by majority.


    Not long after, Lea¡¯s bell echoed in the corridor and across my room, and the little kitten jumped into my bed, curling up near my arm. I laughed, happy to have his company, and read him some of the poems out loud. Lea seemed to listen attentively, his ears turning here and there.


    It was already dark when I went down to cook dinner. He hadn¡¯t returned yet but, even so, and despite everything, I made some extra food which I left over the stove.


    After dinner I decided to check my e-mail, anxious to get news from my mom.


    She¡¯d arrived well and everything was great. They¡¯d picked her up at the airport in a car with a chauffeur and the hotel room where she was staying was apparently bigger than our house. She then went on describing in detail her arrival, following an endless list of questions - how was I doing; if I was eating well; if I was going to school; if I was being nice to Gabriel; if I¡¯d taken out the garbage. After which followed another list, this time of recommendations, most of which she¡¯d already told me in person, before leaving.


    I answered her long e-mail with a much shorter one. I told her everything was fine and reminded her that she¡¯d just left the other day. She had nothing to worry about, I¡¯d take care of everything. Besides Gabriel was here too, I added knowing that it would make her feel better. I sent kisses and lots of love and pushed the send button. From that one example I could already foretell her next e-mails were bound to contain an endless cry of how much she missed me, but still I¡¯d be happy to read them.


    I laid down and took a deep breath. I felt tired and knew the right thing to do was get some sleep. Lea curled up near my pillow once again and looked at me with expectant silver eyes. Shamelessly using him as excuse, I grabbed Michael¡¯s book to read a few more poems out loud.

 Chapter 5 - Part 3

    Part 3


    The rest of the week went on without incidents.


    As time went by I started noticing the new established routine and begun counting on it. To tell the truth, I only saw Gabriel in the morning, at breakfast, and as we walked to school. During classes he was always at the back of the room, surrounded by girls, and I had Steph, Joanne and Kevin to keep me company. We met again at lunch time, when he joined our group. Everyone had grown accustomed to his presence and easily included him in our talks. Sometimes he¡¯d change secret whispers with Steph, which always made me feel apprehensive, guessing they were probably talking about me. It looked like Steph had adopted him as her accomplice in the almost impossible task of making me look more feminine and attractive.


    After lunch we always left together, walking in silence until we were outside. We walked side by side up to Michael¡¯s group, and it was as if my day started there.


    As much as I didn¡¯t want to admit it, I had to concede that Stephanie was right. He really tried to keep the girls busy so that I could have Michael all to myself. Those were my special moments. Being able to be close to him, talk with him, look at him. In those brief moments there were just the two of us in the world and my chest was filled with enough warmth to keep me going for the next twenty-four hours, until I saw him again. When we were together, time went by unnoticed. We exchanged books and discussed ideas. We talked about Lea and I told him the news I had received from Paris.


    To my relief, by the third day of my new look, I stopped attracting so much attention and everyone started passing by me without gaping or staring at me from head to toe.


    When Friday came I said goodbye to Michael with a heavy heart, since I wouldn¡¯t be able to see him for two whole days. The arrival of the weekend I¡¯d always longed for, since it brought the promise of some well deserved peace and quiet, seemed like hellish torture. Firstly I wouldn¡¯t have Michael to brighten my day. And secondly I didn¡¯t know what to do, should Gabriel choose to stay at home.


    Wanting to avoid the possibility of having to endure his presence, I took the chance to go and look for the store where I¡¯d acquire the magic book.


    After some search, since that afternoon I¡¯d simply entered the first door I¡¯d found, I finally saw the strange storefront with a heavy purple cloth in the back. On a small table, that looked more like an altar, was a chalice like the ones I recalled seeing inside, and two wooden candle holders with two dark-blue candles. There was also a silver dagger and rose petals everywhere. On the floor, near the table, was a hand mirror, its handle in the shape of a long snake, and a pile of books strategically placed so that one could read the titles from outside. Like the others inside, those were also about the occult, magic or alternative healing techniques. On the left corner of the storefront, in a shadowy area, was a human skull I hopped was plastic, and a long sword, with a deep red ribbon with bells at the ends, hanging from a handle.


    I took a deep breath and pushed the glass door, entering. The bell rang, announcing my presence just like the first time I¡¯d been there, and I took a quick look around.


    Everything was still the same, I thought. The dream-catchers, the shelves full of small statues, the CD display. The counter, in front of me, still kept a wide variety of pendants and, on top of it, the candles arranged by colors. Behind it, the bookshelf was as attractive as before, although my previous experience with that kind of books had been the worst possible. However, the face that looked at me from behind the counter was neither old nor feminine. A middle-aged man with dark hair and brown eyes watched me expectantly, his strong hairy hands resting over the glass. He forced a smile, noticing my hesitation, and cleared his throat


    ¡°Hello there. May I help you?¡± His strong and hoarse voice broke the disappointment I¡¯d felt for not having found the old woman, and I placed the heavy bag I¡¯d carried all the way from home on the counter.


    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± I replied. ¡°Hum, maybe you can help, yes,¡± I added, noticing that the old second-hand books I¡¯d seen before were all gone.


    I took the book out of the bag so he could see it but placed a protective hand over its soft leather cover.


    ¡°I came here, last week, and the lady who was here gave me this book,¡± I explained. ¡°I¡¯d really like to speak with her, if possible.¡±


    He looked at the book with a critical expression and sighed heavily.


    ¡°I see ... The lady you¡¯re referring to is my mother. And that book used to belong to her,¡± he informed me and I felt like I¡¯d kept something that didn¡¯t belong to me, after all. ¡°I ask her to watch over the shop for one day and she immediately has to bring those things over,¡± he complained. ¡°I am terribly sorry if she caused you any trouble. And, if you wish, I don¡¯t mind getting rid of that thing, for you.¡±


    I instinctively pulled the book closer to me and tried to clarify my situation.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing like that. She didn¡¯t cause me any trouble.¡± Well, except for the fact that she¡¯d given me a book containing a demoniac evocation, of course, I thought sarcastically. ¡°I just wanted to talk with her about some of the .... spells ...¡± I said, lowering my tone as I pronounced the word. Any other person would have certainly found me insane, talking about things like that as if they were real. My hope was that the owner of that kind of shop would be open-minded enough to find it normal.


    ¡°Hum ... spells ...¡± he repeated pensively while tilting his head to read the book¡¯s title. ¡±To tell you the truth it would really be better if you could talk with her. That book is really old and, like all the others she kept from her youth, must be considerably outdated, when compared to the Magic practiced nowadays,¡± he answered. Now I was the one staring at him as if he was crazy. Did he meant to say that not only there were people going around casting spells, there were also updates for that kind of thing? ¡°Unfortunately, my mother went back home, in the North, the day before yesterday. But tell me. What would you like to know. Maybe I can be of assistance.¡±


    Still I hesitated, fearing that my questions would sound too preposterous, or that they might hint at the unbelievable situation I found myself in. I wasn''t about to let him know I had a demon living in my house and that I¡¯d accepted a Contract with him in exchange for my life.


    ¡°Well, I was reading some of these spells ... and it¡¯s like you said, they look pretty old,¡± I started, watching him closely, looking for clues that would tell me if I was saying anything too strange. ¡°Some even use ancient words that I don¡¯t know the meaning. And so I was a bit ... afraid.¡± I confessed, exposing my suppositions. Those strange words. No other spell contained anything even similar. And I clearly recalled that that had been the last thing I¡¯d said, before the symbols in the Protection Circle exploded. ¡°I¡¯d like to know what they mean.¡±


    ¡°Ancient words?¡± he asked, looking intrigued, and I nodded as I opened the book on the right page. I¡¯d never forget that page. Sometimes I even saw it in my dreams, where I relived the horror of that night.


    ¡°For example.¡± I pointed the right line, turning the book towards him, and he read it in silence. And I couldn¡¯t help wondering what would have happened if had he read them out loud.


    ¡°You¡¯re absolutely right. It does sound like some ancient language,¡± he confirmed. ¡°Maybe Hebraic? I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t know how to translate it. But since this is a Love Spell I¡¯m sure it¡¯s nothing to worry about. Normally, when a spell is cast, it will release either positive or negative energies. And Love Spells are usually based on positive energy.¡±


    ¡°What about evocations?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Evocations are a completely different matter and are considered very dangerous. Nowadays very few Magic practitioners use either evocations or invocations, with exception, of course, of the evocations of the Guardians of the Cardinal Points needed to cast a Protection Circle. Invocations are, by nature, more related with the spirits¡¯ realm, but even those are quite dangerous. After all, even though the practitioner may have a specific intention, when a portal to another dimension is opened no one really knows what may across it. It can be just some lost entity, but there are those that linger patiently near the border between dimensions just waiting for an opportunity to enter our realm,¡± he explained and I had to stop my skeptic thought from taking over. After all, who was I to be skeptic about other dimensions and occult entities? Me, who every morning had breakfast in the company of something evoked through a Magic spell?


    He¡¯d spoken about evocations and invocations. Those were terms that, by now, I was rather familiar with, after all the researches online I¡¯d done in the last few days. According to most occultists, invocations referred to the process of bringing into our world a being or entity that would manifest itself through the summoner¡¯s body. An evocation, on the other hand, meant that the entity invited would use its own body to manifest itself, be it visible or not. From that I¡¯d concluded my ¡®cousin¡¯ Gabriel was clearly the result of an evocation.


    ¡°But why? Why would such entities want to come to our dimension?¡± I asked and he seemed to think about it for a moment.


    ¡°Many reasons, I suppose. Simply to have some fun? Sometimes to feed. Many of these entities feed on different types of energies and we, Humans, are a constant source of energy, be it vital, sexual, emotional, mental, spiritual and so on. It may also happen that they¡¯re simply curious.¡±


    ¡°And can¡¯t they be sent back?¡±


    ¡°I suppose they can. But it¡¯s not that easy. First the entity must be visible, or at least localizable. If we can¡¯t know where it is it will be practically impossible to send it back, since the Magic has no target to act upon. Then we¡¯d have to know the entity''s nature and possess the right ritual to cast it away. That would probably be the most difficult part, since most entities that cross into our dimension do it without being invited. Since they¡¯re like accidents we normally don¡¯t have all the needed information to banish them effectively. And finally we¡¯d have to be able to execute the ritual to perfection. A simple mistake could risk everything, enraging the entity instead of banishing it as intended. Besides, some Magic spells require such a high degree of concentration and energy that not every practitioner is able to cast them. And that¡¯s why, generally speaking, the Magic community stopped summoning other entities,¡± he added and smiled. ¡°But you have nothing to worry about,¡± he assured me. ¡°That book only contains simple spells and enchantments. I¡¯m sure it doesn¡¯t include something as dangerous as rituals of evocation.¡±


    I smiled wearily. If only that were true ... !


    ¡°And ... what about ... demons?¡± I asked, fearing I might reveal too much. ¡°Can they also be evoked through Magic?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s even more complicated. Both evoking and banishing. Those kinds of rituals are all practically lost, and thank God. As far as I know, only Secret Societies still keep that kind of thing in their archives. In the old days Humans used to evoke demons and used them to do their bidding. In exchange for a life of luxury and riches, they¡¯d pledge their Soul, or their remaining life time. These were exchanges that might seem profitable, in a short term, but that ended up condemning the summoner to eternal damnation. It is said that a Soul marked through a Contract with a demon is forever excluded from the eternal cycle of death and rebirth. Its eternity, as a Soul, becomes that demon¡¯s property. When you see it like that it doesn¡¯t sound like such a good deal anymore, don¡¯t you agree? As it seems, people started to think like that too, and that¡¯s why most demonic evocations were eradicated from the practice of Magic.¡±


    ¡°But even so, they cross to our world,¡± I supposed.


    ¡°Sure. Because unlike other minor entities, those we know as demons have their own Magic, one much stronger and powerful than that of any Human Being. They have the ability to open the dimensional gates and walk between dimensions. The only entities equal to them are the angels.¡±


    Angels! The word crashed against my brain in the sudden revelation of something that had always been right there, in front of my eyes.


    It had never crossed my mind, the possibility that angels might really exist, and the image of the statues that adorned the school¡¯s chapel came into my mind. But wasn¡¯t it logical? If evil things like him existed, why couldn¡¯t there be others, similar, but good?


    ¡°And angels? Can we also evoke them?¡± I asked with a ray of hope and he laughed lightly.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.


    ¡°Yes, and no. Evoke, one can evoke. If they¡¯ll listen and obey the evocation that¡¯s an entire different matter. Apparently, unlike demons, angels have no interest in establishing direct contact with Humans, rather preferring to protect us at a distance. I suppose that¡¯s why angelic evocations are rare, even as part of the ancient Magic, unlike demonic ones.¡±


    I carefully committed all he¡¯d told me to memory. I¡¯d assumed, as a starting point, that Gabriel was a demon. I didn¡¯t know if it was correct to define him according to such ancient stereotype. However, after much research about creatures and magical beings, I had no other way to classify him. After all, what else could he be? And, if I was willing to accept the existence of demons I might as well accept that angels existed too.


    When I left the small store with my heavy book, which allegedly could not contain any kind of dangerous spells such as evocations, it was late, and night had taken over the world. I tucked the coat around my neck and grumbled against the thin stockings that allowed the cold wind to freeze my legs.


    Being used to him arriving after I¡¯d already gone to bed, I didn¡¯t even think twice before turning the key to the front door. However, the moment I opened the door a delicious smell greeted me at the entrance, making me immediately nervous. Of all the nights, he¡¯d chosen that one to arrive earlier.


    I closed the door and went to the kitchen, my steps as silent as possible, peering inside.


    I was stunned for a moment. He was ... cooking. There was a pot on the stove, fuming and filling the air with that delicious smell. Over the kitchen counter were a series of ingredients and, in the sink, a receptacle with some washed vegetables. Lea was close by, rubbing his black head against his heels in a cautious circuit that allowed him to escape Gabriel¡¯s feet every time he moved from his place.


    ¡°So? Did you find what you were looking for?¡± he asked me in a seemingly indifferent tone, not even turning to look at me, and continued chopping a carrot into thin slices.


    I didn¡¯t know what to answer, my heart beating against my chest as if I were a child caught doing something wrong. He put down the knife for a moment and went to the stove to stir what was cooking inside the pot. Something sauteed, I thought, certain that it included tomatoes and onions.


    Trying to reinforce my self-confidence I told myself I could do whatever I pleased and had no obligation to give him any satisfactions.


    ¡°And what could that be?¡± I asked, raising my head, and he took the pot from the stove. I followed his calm and precise movements with some fascination, while he put the raw vegetables in the smoking pot.


    ¡°A way to Seal me again, right?¡±


    I stood silent, once more. There was nothing in his voice, no shadow of anger or displeasure. He spoke in the same casual way he used to discuss musical genres with Joe. Did that mean he was certain that there was no way to do it? Was he that confident in his abilities, or better yet, in my inability to do it?


    ¡°I never hoped to find anything like that,¡± I replied abrasively. I¡¯d learned that only anger and fury could help me overcome the irrational fear I felt in his presence, and I welcomed them. ¡°It¡¯s just that ... there¡¯s too many things I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing you need to understand. I¡¯ve already told you. All you need to know are the terms of our Contract,¡± he told me and placed the pot back on the stove.


    ¡°That¡¯s your opinion!¡± I retorted brusquely and for a moment all that could be heard was the sound of something boiling.


    ¡°And? What did that Human tell you about me?¡± he finally asked.


    Suddenly the implications of those questions hit me and I couldn¡¯t help stare at him in outrage.


    ¡°Did you ... follow me?¡± I asked under my breath and he turned off the stove placing the pot on the table where he¡¯d already set two places, meaning we would have dinner together.


    I saw him grab a few lettuce leaves, rolling them and cutting them into thin slices, and couldn¡¯t help stare at the graceful but firm movements of his pale fingers. I asked myself what would happen if he cut himself. If the knife would simply slide over his skin without leaving a mark. Or, if like all Human Beings, he would bleed, and if his blood would be the same color as mine.


    ¡°Of course,¡± he answered calmly. ¡°It¡¯s too dangerous for you to leave Lewisham on your own.¡± His matter of fact tone only made me angrier.


    ¡°What do you mean dangerous?¡± he stopped what he was doing and turned to face me for the first time since I¡¯d arrived. I instinctively hugged the bag caring the heavy book as if it could protect me.


    ¡°It¡¯s dangerous. That should be enough.¡± And he went back to slicing lettuce leaves. Then he placed the bowl on the table, opened the fridge, and took out the peach juice I normally drank.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked in a low tone, as my initial courage quickly slipped away, and he followed my gaze towards the pot.


    ¡°Dinner,¡± he simply replied and went around the table to pass as far as possible from me and take his place. ¡°You eating? Or are you just going to stand there and think I¡¯m trying to poison you like last time?¡±


    I recalled the baked fish he¡¯d cooked for Rachel and me and how delicious it had been, regardless of my distrust. My mouth watered before that delicious smell and, unwilling to do so, but wishing to prove him wrong, I took my place at the table on the opposite side of his. I placed the heavy bag on the floor, next to my chair, and Lea sniffed at it curiously, his bell ringing softly.


    ¡°I¡¯m the one who should try to poison you,¡± I grumbled between clench teeth and he laughed.


    ¡°True. Can¡¯t even imagine why you still haven¡¯t tried.¡±


    ¡°Would it work?¡±


    ¡°Probably not in what you¡¯re expecting.¡± I lowered my head and clenched the table cloth under the table.


    In the last few days I¡¯d started to notice that, in truth, he normally avoided coming too close to me or looking me in the eye. Just like he did now, fixing his gaze on the empty glass in front of him. It was a behavior that I couldn¡¯t help appreciate, since it made my life much easier. But it also meant many other things I really didn¡¯t want to think about. It meant he was all too aware of the devastating effect his presence had on me, and that either he resented it or he felt sorry for me. And finally, that he worried enough to try and spare me, a thought that bothered me more than I could tell.


    To erase those ideas from my head I reached a brave hand towards the pot and filled my plate - sauteed vegetables in tomato and onions with small pasta bows. Then I unceremoniously attacked the salad and drove a forkful into my mouth. It was annoyingly delicious.


    He smiled almost imperceptibly, avoiding having to face me, and mimicked me with much slower and planned gestures. As I watched his long fingers flexed around the spoon handle, and  I couldn¡¯t help noticing how, since that terrifying night, his every movement had become unusually slow and calculated. Even his steps, when we walked to school, were all taken carefully. Now that I thought about it, he even looked slower than the rest of us, Humans. Of course the difference was easily masked by his height, making our human minds believe it was normal for such a tall body to move slower than the rest.


    The food in my mouth became suddenly bitter. That was also because of me, wasn¡¯t it? Because I¡¯d fall into a terrified frenzy every time he made an abrupt gesture. Because my fear ran deep and was irrational to the point I completely lost control over my body becoming unable to move, breathe or even think.


    ¡°And? What did he tell you about me?¡± he insisted, resuming our previous conversation in that neutral tone that showed neither curiosity nor displease, and I looked at him for a moment, watching as he ate.


    ¡°We talked about the different types of Magic ...¡± I replied, unwilling to give him a straight answer, and he kept silent as if waiting for me to go on. ¡°Does it bother you that much what he might have said?¡±


    ¡°No. Just curious.¡± He shrugged.


    ¡°Curious ...¡± I whispered. Did he really feel those things? Or simply used the words he knew to be more appropriate according to the situation? ¡°He told me the book was not supposed to contain any evocations.¡± I tried to take advantage of the moment to gather more information.


    ¡°True.¡±


    ¡°Then ... why ...?"


    ¡°Do you always need reasons for everything?¡± He looked at me from under his dark eyelashes so he wouldn¡¯t have to raise his head and my hand shook, making the fork tinkle against the plate.


    ¡°Of course ...¡± I answered, my voice breaking down. ¡°You would too, if you didn¡¯t know the answers. Knowing the reasons behind the facts helps us accept them."


    ¡°Accept?!¡± He sounded surprised. ¡°Is that what you want?¡±


    ¡°I want to understand. I need to understand! Why me?!¡±


    He sat quietly and lowered his gaze again. Filling his fork he chewed slowly, savoring the food. I waited unmoving.


    ¡°There are many questions for which I have no answers,¡± he finally told me, his voice even lower than usual, as if he was sharing a secret. ¡°However, I¡¯ve never worried about them. I¡¯m only interested in things I can control. What¡¯s the use of knowing all the answers when there¡¯s nothing you can do about it?¡±


    Annoyingly I understood his logic. He was right. Knowing why he was there, why was that evocation in my book, why it had to be me reading it and not someone else. None of those answers could help me in any way.


    ¡°That¡¯s your way of thinking. We think differently,¡± I stubbornly stated and he stopped chewing for a moment. And I knew exactly why. Those words had also struck something deep inside me. It had been the first time I¡¯d admitted in front of him that he wasn¡¯t like us, that he wasn¡¯t a Human Being.


    ¡°All right,¡± he conceded, putting down the fork, and placed an elbow on the table leaning his head on his hand. Lea¡¯s bell sounded through the kitchen and the little kitten swiftly jumped onto his lap becoming the center of his attention. ¡°The answer to your question can be given in different levels,¡± he said, softly caressing Lea¡¯s ears, and the cat purred closing his eyes. ¡°Why was an evocation in a book where it shouldn¡¯t be? Simple. Because someone sacrificed himself in order to be so. The book must have been the closest object imbued of some power, at the moment. Thus the words ended up being inscribed on its pages. The page you read was probably the one where it was opened at that precise instant.¡±


    ¡°Sacrificed ... ?¡± I muttered in an almost inaudible tone, my mind filled with bloody rituals like the ones I''d seen on horror movies.


    ¡°You have nothing to worry about. The sacrifice was from one of us,¡± he added and his voice sounded ragged for a moment, conveying a grief that I¡¯d never thought he¡¯d be able to feel, much less express. ¡°He was a ... companion. If not for him I¡¯d be forever ...¡± He suddenly grew silent and looked at Lea who watched him seriously, as if he could empathize with his words. Gabriel smiled softly and went back to caressing his pointy ears. ¡°If you want to know why you decided to read that spell and not any other, you may as well say it was a random thing. Or you can blame it on the selfishness of your feelings. Or on the skepticism of your mind that though that nothing would happen. Or on the faith of your heart that desired it would actually work.¡±


    ¡°In other words ... the responsibility is mine,¡± I concluded voicing the words I repeated to myself on a daily basis, and he smiled sarcastically.


    ¡°Why? Did you think you were just a poor innocent victim, blameless for the situation you¡¯re in?¡±


    ¡°No. I know it very well, that I¡¯m the only one responsible for your presence here,¡± I admitted and his hand went still again. Maybe he hadn¡¯t expected that I¡¯d admitted so clearly, but I¡¯d long given up making up excuses and trying to escape reality. ¡°It wasn¡¯t easy to accept, but I can hardly deny it.¡±


    He took a deep breath and started caressing Lea¡¯s neck when the cat raised his small head to grant him full access to his black fur.


    ¡°Yes ... and no,¡± he told me, his low voice sliding to that disturbing velvet tone. ¡°Yes, in the ways I told you before. No because there were other factors in play that you didn¡¯t know about and that were completely out of your control. In the end, your mental skepticism was right. Any other Human could have read that spell and nothing special would have happened.¡° For a moment I recalled his words, that night. Even he had looked surprised when he¡¯d realized I¡¯d been able to evoke him without even being a Magic user.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I wanted to know and he seemed to ponder for a moment if he should answer.


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say you¡¯re ... special.¡±


    I was stunned for a moment, his words taking their time to make any sense.


    ¡°Special?! Me?¡± I, who had never been able to do anything on my own? Who was too timid and unsightly? Who would easily go unnoticed in a crowd? Where could I be special? But he didn¡¯t elaborate and so I changed the question. ¡°Was that the reason why you didn¡¯t kill me?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°And why you made this Contract with me?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he replied without a hint of hesitation


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Would you rather I had killed you?¡± he asked me softly and I frowned, annoyed.


    ¡°That¡¯s hardly the question! Why! Why did you change your mind?¡± I insisted, unwilling to allow him to change the subject.


    ¡°Because you possess something I want,¡± he finally replied and I shuddered. That voice wasn¡¯t Gabriel¡¯s voice any longer; not the voice from the boy that practically looked my age. Even so I didn¡¯t allow myself to give up. Now that I¡¯d started, I¡¯d go till the end, even if there was nothing I could do to change things as they were.


    ¡°You want something ... from me?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he confirmed once more in his neutral tone and I asked myself what was worse - if that voice that reminded me of who he really was or that unperturbed tone, as if he were indifferent to the whole world, me included.


    ¡°Is that why ... you want to sleep with me?¡± I managed to ask and the blood froze in my veins at the mere thought of it. I¡¯d never said that out loud. In truth, I didn¡¯t even recall saying it in thoughts. The terms of our Contract, that he apparently thought were the only things I should worry about, had been stuffed somewhere deep inside my memory.


    He slowly raised his gaze to face me and my body became painfully stiff.


    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s the only way I can get what I want,¡± he admitted and my anger burned, reddening my cheeks.


    ¡°What do you mean? What do you want from me?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not what I want from you,¡± he told me calmly as if studying my every reaction. ¡°I want you.¡±


    ¡°M... me...?¡± My voice broke and my brain had to, once more, try hard to follow what he was saying. ¡°I don¡¯t understand!! Didn¡¯t you tell me that once the Contract was fulfilled you¡¯d disappear from my life?¡± I demanded even angrier and he nodded.


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°That I¡¯d never see you again! That it would be as if you¡¯d never existed!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°That I¡¯d be able to go on with my life!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°That you wouldn¡¯t take my Soul!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s also right.¡±


    ¡°What then?!¡± I argued raising my voice. Unnoticing I was clenching my fists so tight that my hands shook, my fingers too pale due to the lack of blood. ¡°What do you want from me?¡± I demanded, scared and frustrated, and deeply enraged with his passive indifference towards such important questions.


    ¡°What I want from you is nothing like that.¡±


    I stared at him for a moment, shaking everywhere, my teeth clenched so I wouldn¡¯t bite my own tongue, and fell into despair. I covered my face with my hands, feeling how cold and moist they were. I couldn¡¯t deal with it ... I couldn¡¯t understand anything, anymore ... And, in that short instant, even the things that had made some sense before, seemed confusing and incoherent.


    ¡°I¡¯m... I¡¯m loosing my mind ...¡± I whispered to myself standing once more at the edge of that precipice.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry ...¡° His voice froze me in place. ¡°However, unlike you Human Beings, we have no choice ... There¡¯s no other way.¡±


    His low voice echoed in my mind for some time. I felt especially shocked by his honesty. And, when I finally recovered some measure of control, enough to be able to raise my head and look at him, he¡¯d disappeared. I lowered my hands in disbelief and my gaze fell upon Lea, sitting on his chair, watching me attentively. His plate had been left on the table, still full with the food he had hardly touched. I wished I could cry since my heart was crying, but, once more not even a single tear touched my face. And so I sat there, motionless, like a doll whose wind-up had reached the end.

 Chapter 6 - Part 1

    Chapter 6


    VTI


    ¨C Path of Teth.


    The Vision of the Fruit of the Great Work of the Beast - 666. The Lion.1 ¨C


    ¡°Because I¡¯m not a sun, like you, I wish I were a mirror as clear as crystal,


    so that I could reflect your incandescent light ...


    However, not even a dull mirror I¡¯m able to be ...


    My existence has been marked by a growing dark shadow that devours my being ... and in my pain I know I can never be close to the iridescent sun that you are.¡±


    Part 1


    He disappeared and didn¡¯t return, not even to sleep.


    The dinner I left in the oven, like usual, was still there Sunday morning, and the same from Sunday to Monday.


    I spent the weekend alone, with Lea as my only company, and took the chance to put my studies in order. I replied my mom¡¯s e-mails, making up trivial things that would fill my everyday life and cleaned the house.


    Saturday night Steph called to know how I was doing but mainly to tell me that Mark had officially asked her out, directly and with all the letters. She hadn¡¯t known what to say, asking him to let her think about it. The most amusing thing was how shocked she sounded, not because of his proposition per se, but because apparently there were still people in the world able to make love declarations like the one she¡¯d just received.


    Monday arrived cold and rainy.


    I stared into my wardrobe for at least fifteen minutes, trying to figure out what to wear. Before I wouldn¡¯t have had any doubts, putting on my comfortable wool pants.


    I got dressed and went downstairs, expecting to find him in the kitchen, but he wasn¡¯t there. I had breakfast oppressed by a foreboding feeling until I realized I¡¯d never had breakfast alone before. Rachel had always woken up earlier to make it for me, even when we still lived with my dad. And since she was gone Gabriel had always been there.


    I was angry at myself for feeling lonely enough to wish his terrible company and, after feeding Lea, left the house diving into the cold outside.


    When I arrived at school I¡¯d already told myself that he probably wouldn¡¯t show up and wished he could simply disappear just like that, as if everything had been nothing but a nightmare. My wishful thoughts broke into pieces as soon as I entered our classroom. And there he was, sitting in his place, talking with Steph who had miraculously arrived before the first bell.


    That aside the morning went by like every other Monday morning. In Philosophy Kevin greeted me with his usual silent presence and, when the bell rang again, we met the others and went down to the cafeteria. Gabriel joined us not long after and handed Joe a CD that left him so excited he wouldn¡¯t stop jumping up and down.


    ¡°Stop it! You¡¯re just like a monkey!¡± Joanne scolded him, tired of looking at him, making us all smile in anticipation, but Joe didn¡¯t even seem to hear her, repeatedly kissing the CD¡¯s casing.


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe it! You can¡¯t possible imagine how much I¡¯ve looked for this! In all the stores!¡± he told Gabriel with a smile from ear to ear and he laughed lightly.


    ¡°I have a big collection. All you have to do is ask,¡± he replied, leaving Joe in a complete state of adoration, and I focused my attention on the menus. Collection? Where? I could only hope he hadn¡¯t stolen all the things he made magically appear out of nowhere.


    ¡°Hey Mari! Look! Over there...¡± Steph whispered and I followed the direction she discretely pointed. ¡°What is he doing here?¡±


    I felt my cheeks warm up and my heart jump a beat. Michael stood by the door and seemed to be looking for someone. Then, as if something had called him, his clear green eyes turned my way and a bright smile touched his lips.


    ¡°Ah ... he¡¯s coming this way!¡± Steph observed, containing the excitement that already burned in her eyes, but I didn¡¯t need her to tell me, no one did.


    Girls everywhere stepped out of his way, allowing him passage and following him with either longing gazes and sighs or simple curious looks. In my group everyone was staring in disbelief and even Joe grew quieter, hugging his new CD.


    Michael stopped right in front of me, brightening my day, and I couldn¡¯t help noticing the deadly silence all around us. Everyone¡¯s attention was on him, trying to figure out what had made one of the school¡¯s idols visit the place where we, the commoners, ate.


    ¡°Morning, Mari,¡± he greeted me tranquilly, completely indifferent to all the gazes staring at him, and I asked myself if he was too absent-minded to notice the sudden tension around us when he spoke my name, or if he simply didn¡¯t care. ¡°Hey, Gabriel!¡± he greeted him too and Gabriel smiled at him, although only his lips had moved.


    ¡°Michael ... what are you doing here?¡± I asked, still stunned, and he laughed as if I¡¯d just made a silly question.


    ¡°I came to meet you, of course,¡± he replied and I was sure my naturally wide eyes opened even wider.


    ¡°Uh, hi Michael,¡± Steph said with a smile, standing beside me, and reached out her hand. ¡°I¡¯m Stephanie but everyone calls me Steph,¡± she introduced herself and Michael shook her hand.


    ¡°Nice to meet you.¡±


    ¡°Want to join us?¡± she invited with a confidence that only she could manage and he nodded. ¡°Oh, right, the rest of the guys,¡± she went on, completely controlling the conversation, and I couldn¡¯t help feel relieved with the casual tone she had quickly managed to give that embarrassing situation.


    Steph introduced everyone, making them react and erase that expression of ¡®what the hell is he doing here?¡¯ from their faces. And so, when we walked to our usual table after buying lunch, Joe had already gone back to being his usual self, bragging about his new CD to Joanne, hoping to make her envious. Joanne, however, obviously couldn¡¯t care less about some stupid CD, her attentive expression showing she intended to listen to every word we might exchange.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Michael sat on the chair next to mine and took out his sandwich and a juice carton, which he shook before piercing with a straw.


    ¡°You always eat like that?¡± Steph asked, completely at ease as if Michael were just some guy she¡¯d just met, and I envied her ability to talk to him so naturally.


    ¡°Normally yeah,¡± he replied with the same simplicity and the others seemed as surprised as I¡¯d been in our first conversations. Since he was one of the most popular guys in school, the general idea people had about him was far from corresponding to the truth. ¡°To tell you the truth, I don¡¯t have all that much money ... or I should say, almost none,¡± he added, laughing. ¡°Father Jorge is the one taking care of all my expenses and so I try to spend as little as possible. If only this school would allow students to have a part-time job ...¡± He sighed and everyone was quiet, since Michael¡¯s situation was widely well known. ¡°Oh yeah, Mari. Wanted to return this,¡± he told me with a bright smile while searching inside his bag and took out a book I immediately recognized as mine. ¡°Loved it! To tell you the truth, read it twice!¡± he said with enthusiasm and I took back my book feeling embarrassed and closely observed by the others. On the table in front of us, heads constantly turned our way, and I guessed the same was happening on every other table around us.


    ¡°Ah ... I¡¯m glad ...¡± I muttered, not knowing what else to say, but he looked happy with only that, sitting there, just staring as if I were something out of the ordinary. My cheeks burned and, to mask it, I filled my mouth with food.


    ¡°But tell me, Michael, what brings you here?¡± Steph asked and I almost jumped. A question like that...! Steph smiled innocently before my alarmed expression and I noticed Gabriel, beside her, kept his eyes on his plate, eating in silence as if he couldn¡¯t even hear us. ¡°Not that we mind sharing our table with you. But, if I recall correctly, I¡¯ve never seen you around.¡±


    ¡°Steph ... !¡± I pleaded under my breath, mentally asking that she would shut up, but Michael smiled, facing her unperturbed.


    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he admitted without a problem. ¡°In the beginning of the year I did try coming here once or twice. But it was always quite the chaotic experience. They were always asking me questions about the accident, and that¡¯s a subject I¡¯m not particularly comfortable with. So I stopped coming altogether and started eating outside. Besides, my friends also bring lunch from home and so we normally eat together,¡± he explained. ¡°To tell you the truth, I came here today just to meet you guys.¡± Except for Gabriel, they all stopped eating to stare at him in disbelief. ¡±It¡¯s nothing, really. Nothing to worry about.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Steph insisted and he smiled again.


    ¡°Because I rarely interact with others outside my usual group. Sure they¡¯re all good friends and I know they worry about me. But in worrying no one seems to be able to get close to me before being carefully scrutinized and filtered by them. And I never really minded that,¡± he confessed. ¡°Honestly speaking, their protection has always been welcome, since it spared me from all those ... unpleasant questions. But then we met Mari and Gabriel, and they started to hang out with us without having to pass any filters. I¡¯ve always felt that those who came from outside the wall built around me would come to ... hurt me. But that wasn¡¯t the case.¡± Now even I was looking at him completely stunned. He¡¯d never opened up like that, and doing it right there, before people he hardly knew ... I just couldn¡¯t understand. It was clear in his persistent smile that he didn¡¯t feel like smiling at all, that those words were hard to say, but still he went on. ¡°Mari talks a lot about you. So I just felt like meeting you,¡± he concluded with a simplicity that was far from being real and everyone was quiet for a moment.


    ¡°What the hell?!¡± Joe blurted out frowning. He looked deeply annoyed, something I¡¯d never seen before. We¡¯d all seen him being irritating and implicative, even seen him fight fiercely with Joanne. But that was different. ¡°What do you think people are? Better yet, who do you think you are? Why in hell would everyone in the world exist just to hurt you, and why does your excellency needs being protected? If you don¡¯t like what other people ask, just say it clearly! This is ridiculous!¡± he spate, facing Michael.


    ¡°Joe ...¡± Joanne muttered, surprised, and Kevin smiled trying to appease the moment, since Michael looked completely speechless.


    ¡°Michael, what I think Joe means is that you¡¯re not the center of the world,¡± Kevin told him, his voice surprisingly calm and mature, as if he were an adult trying to explain something hard to understand to a child. ¡°Isn¡¯t it great? Of course your situation raises questions, just like Gabriel¡¯s, that still has people piling over his desk every time the bell rings. But that¡¯s only that. I understand your case may be a bit more delicate. But independently of all the questions they may ask you, the answers are something that belong exclusively to you. And a few words are enough to make people understand until where it¡¯s okay to go. You don¡¯t need a wall surrounding you, to protect you and decide for you.¡±


    Michael sat quietly for a few moments making me worry. Joe was still upset. Gabriel put down his fork finishing his lunch.


    Suddenly the sound of laughter echoed all around us and Michael covered his green eyes with a hand. My chest clenched as I asked myself if he was really laughing or crying.


    ¡°You guys ... are really something ...¡± he said under his breath and raised his head, going back to being the bright and friendly Michael that I knew. ¡°Everything Mari told me about you was true.¡±


    I blushed when the others looked at me and Joe¡¯s annoyance seemed to melt away.


    ¡°She talked about me?¡± he asked, sounding excited by the idea. ¡°What did she say? That I¡¯m great and simply amazing? That I¡¯m a hunk of a man? That must be it, right?¡±


    ¡°Joe!¡± I scolded, louder than I¡¯d usually do, and my face burned turning red. They all laughed at my embarrassment.


    ¡°And to think Mari talks about us ...¡± Albert commented with a dreamy look.


    ¡°And to think Mari talks at all!¡± Sarah added, sitting beside him, and I understood that, without knowing exactly why, I¡¯d become their target.


    ¡°Come on, guys, don¡¯t be like this.¡± Joanne pleaded but the smile on her lips denounced her true intentions. ¡°Mari is just selective with who she speaks to.¡±


    ¡°Well, she talks to me,¡± Steph informed with a superior look while Albert and Sarah made faces.


    ¡°And to me,¡± Michael added, looking at me with that dazzling smile, and I hid my face between my hands, knowing that it couldn¡¯t get any redder.


    ¡°Enough already!¡± I pleaded.


    ¡°This is punishment, Mari. Who told you to go around talking about others behind their backs?¡± Joe asked, still laughing, and although I¡¯d probably never felt more embarrassed in my entire life, I was still happy.


    To my relief, the conversation ended up turning towards more trivial matters. As expected, Michael ended up having to answer a lot of questions, but never anything related to his past. They were all common questions, the type one would ask when trying to know the other person better. And so our lunch time went by, while we laughed and played.


    I didn¡¯t even notice the moment Gabriel left. When I realized he was already gone, not even his tray had remained. I still looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of him, but he wasn¡¯t anywhere to be seen. I doubted he¡¯d simply disappear in front of all those people, but couldn¡¯t be sure. In truth, no one else seemed to notice his absence, not even Steph now sitting beside an empty chair, and who, just moments before Michael¡¯s arrival, had been happily chatting with him. I felt slightly sad at the fact that someone could just vanish without anyone even noticing and recalled his words. He¡¯d told me that once the Contract was fulfilled everyone would forget he¡¯d even existed. At the time I¡¯d thought it impossible. How could he possibly erase all the memories from all the people with whom he¡¯d crossed paths with? However, sitting at that table, I couldn¡¯t help thinking that maybe it would actually be easier than I¡¯d thought. Maybe he wouldn¡¯t even need to use Magic. Michael¡¯s light was simply too strong and now I clearly saw that I wasn¡¯t the only one being absorbed by it.


    I repressed my unusual feelings of compassion making sure I reminded myself that Gabriel wasn¡¯t even Human. He didn¡¯t belong there! And turned my attention towards what Albert was saying, making sure that I too forgot everything about him.

 Chapter 6 - Part 2

    Part 2


    ¡°I can hardly believe it!¡± Steph was whispering as she dragged me by an arm towards the classroom. I¡¯d just said goodbye to Michael and we¡¯d agreed to meet again after class, which had left me utterly absent-minded.


    ¡°Same here. I still can¡¯t believe it. It¡¯s really better if I don¡¯t ...¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be silly! Didn¡¯t you see? He came just to meet you!¡± Steph went on, trying hard to keep her voice down and I winced.


    ¡°No. He came to meet you guys. I understand that perfectly well.¡±


    ¡°What are you saying? That doesn¡¯t even make sense.¡±


    ¡°But it does. Sure, he came to meet you because of me, but not in the way you¡¯re thinking. What he said ... it¡¯s all true. I noticed it before. His friends are constantly protecting him, almost like bodyguards. Even from afar, pretending they¡¯re not there, they¡¯re always watching him. And it¡¯s not like I can¡¯t understand. In the end Michael is pretty much like a child. His memory of events and experiences is only one year old. All he knows is the right now. I think ... I think my words made him curious about the people outside the small circle formed around him. And I think he was very honest in what he said.¡±


    Steph took a deep breath and her tone became more serious. ¡°I know he was honest. If he wasn¡¯t, Joe wouldn¡¯t have been so pissed. But just more the reason, Mari, because he doesn¡¯t know anything else, I don¡¯t think he¡¯s able to understand his own feelings.¡±


    ¡°Steph, just stop it. I don¡¯t need you filling my head with extra-puffy, pinky clouds.¡± I complained, knowing her words would come back to me at night, when I was alone, making it impossible for me to asleep.


    ¡°You can call it whatever you like, but I know what I saw. Still, you will probably have to be very patient with him. And maybe he¡¯ll never get it on his own. But one thing is certain, Mari. That guy is in love with you,¡± she stressed, releasing my arm to open the door, and we went in.


    Steph didn¡¯t even bother to explain our tardiness. Joanne had arrived just a few minutes earlier.


    I walked to my desk. Why did she have to say something like that? From the corner of my eye, I noticed Gabriel hadn¡¯t missed class and, worse, his dark gaze was fixed on me. My stomach tumbled and I hurried to take my seat.


    My mind was a mess, I concluded with an exasperated moan. I couldn¡¯t be happier about Steph¡¯s assumption, but just thinking about it made me shiver. Cold fear seeped into my cells anticipating our meeting after class. He wasn¡¯t going to make some love confession, right?


    I squeezed my hands together.


    No. Even if Steph had been right ¡ª and my heart jumped just from considering it ¡ª she¡¯d also said he didn¡¯t know what he felt. And I wanted, and didn¡¯t want, for him to know.


    I felt my brain about to explode.


    The truth was, I wasn¡¯t the slightest bit ready to uphold my part in that Contract, should it be fulfilled. And, for the first time, I realized I didn¡¯t know for sure what Gabriel had in mind when he said that he¡¯d make it so my love was returned. What did that mean? Just a feeling? A confession? A kiss? What gesture or magic word would determine his part in the Contract was concluded?


    By the time the bell rang I¡¯d decided it best if our feelings weren¡¯t mutual. What it meant to fulfill that Contract needed a long and careful preparation, mental and emotional.


    Mark was expecting Steph by the door and so I went downstairs with Joanne and Kevin, noticing that Gabriel had remained in his seat, talking to a girl who, lately, I¡¯d been seeing around him a lot. I took a deep breath, relieved at the notion that he didn¡¯t know about my meeting with Michael, and said goodbye to my friends, telling them I still had to go by the library before returning home.


    I rushed to our meeting place and saw him as soon as I turned the corner, standing by the glass door, his blond hair shining under the cold light coming from outside. He smiled as he noticed me and opened the door to let me pass. For a moment I just stood there. That gesture was exactly the same as Gabriel¡¯s, I thought with a shudder. Michael gave me an intrigued look and I smiled awkwardly, stepping outside.


    ¡°Um, now we can talk at ease,¡± he told me, walking beside me, and I felt truly nervous.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied timidly, but neither of us said anything. We walked in silence until we reached the tree Gabriel had used to attack him two weeks ago, and he sat down on the floor smiling at the touch of the cold grass against his hands.


    I followed his lead, sitting beside him, and our silence became strange and uncomfortable.


    ¡°You know, what your friends told me ... is true,¡± he finally said in a grave tone. There were no bright smiles on his face and his green eyes were distant. I couldn¡¯t help feeling guilty.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t take them so seriously.¡±


    ¡°No. They¡¯re right. Not that I¡¯d never thought about it. But, in the end, I¡¯m just too weak, always needing someone to reinforce my own ideas and thoughts so that I¡¯m able to actually act upon them. Steven, Joe, Kevin ... you.¡± He looked at me.


    ¡°Me?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he confirmed with a soft smile. ¡°I feel right near you.¡± My heart raced. I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d be able to survive that. ¡°You¡¯re the first person I know that¡¯s really honest with me.¡± I wanted to ask him what he meant, but courage failed me. I knew he didn¡¯t like questions. And besides ...


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong. I¡¯m not honest at all,¡± I confessed, recalling all the things I was hiding from him, from everyone.


    ¡°Oh, but you are. I¡¯m not saying I believe you have revealed your entire life to me. I say you¡¯re honest because your words and your feelings are as one. When we talk you always tell me the truth about what you¡¯re thinking, and you always do it without fearing what I might think or feel about it.¡±


    I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them.


    ¡°I¡¯m not that sure that¡¯s a good thing. I can be a bit ... insensitive at times.¡± He laughed lightly and leaned back to look up at the sky.


    ¡°Believe me, it¡¯s a good thing. It was that honesty of yours that gave me enough courage to walk into that cafeteria today.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help feeling dirty beneath the weight of all my lies. He was so pure and bright. How could I even dare to wish that someone like him would love someone like me? A girl who had to belong to another, to a demon.


    ¡°Do you remember what Kevin told me?¡± he suddenly asked, sitting upright, and I nodded surprised by the change in his tone. ¡°He told me only I could choose who I let into my world.¡± I nodded again. ¡°I¡¯m choosing you.¡±


    ¡°Me? But ...¡± I stammered, once more feeling guilty since I knew I didn¡¯t deserve his trust, but he simply smiled and all my resistance was gone.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Can I ask you to listen to me?¡± he requested so softly that all I could do was nod. ¡°The only other person I talked about this was with Steven. Did you know I met him while I was still in the hospital? It seems there was an afternoon when Father Jorge couldn¡¯t visit me and, since he had promised me he would, he sent Steven in his place. I still clearly recall his shocked expression when he looked at me. At the time I wasn¡¯t looking all that great.¡±


    ¡°Michael,¡± I whispered, wishing he would stop, wishing he would see I didn¡¯t deserve those words, but he kept smiling and went on.


    ¡°My accident ... no one knows exactly what happened. The police investigated it for quite some time, but they never reached a conclusion. From what I was told, I was found one morning in a small park, practically covered in snow. I had cold burns all over my body and the doctors were quite surprised that I was still alive. Besides that, almost every bone in my body was broken, as if I¡¯d fallen from somewhere very high, but there were no buildings around and the trees were too short to offer a plausible explanation. I spent almost a year hospitalized. First to recover from my injuries. Then to recover my motor skills since I had to be completely immobilized for a long time. And, like everyone knows, I lost my memory.¡± A twinge of anguish squeezed my throat when his smile became slightly bitter. ¡°It¡¯s nothing you need worry about. It¡¯s just how things happened.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s hard for you to talk about it,¡± I reminded him.


    ¡°Yes. But, on the other hand, secrets are too heavy,¡± he told me and I looked away. I was the one keeping secrets, not him.


    Michael went silent and I understood he wasn¡¯t going to say anything else. He¡¯d noticed that his story had disturbed me and, although he wished to share it, he¡¯d rather not upset me.


    ¡°Your memories,¡± I muttered, resuming our conversation. If he wanted to talk about it I didn¡¯t want him to keep silent on my behalf. ¡°Are they all really gone?¡±


    ¡°Basically, yes.¡± I looked at him and was faced with his bright green eyes. A soft smile touched his lips, making me blush again. ¡°However, our brain stores memories in different places. The memories I lost were stored in specific areas. So I was lucky to keep what they call academic knowledge, or I couldn¡¯t even be here.¡±


    ¡°You mean things like knowing how to write?¡±


    ¡°Yes. It goes from knowing how to walk, talk, get dressed, tying your shoes or using a fork. All that was kept intact. The things I studied at school, too. However, things that people might have told me are gone. All the situations involving people were completely erased. I don¡¯t remember my teachers nor my schoolmates, not even my family. I don¡¯t remember which school I used to go to, because that would imply remembering the faces of those who also studied there. I also don¡¯t remember my house, nor any other house for that matter, not even a walk in the park or common places like a restaurant.¡± I felt sad for him. Although I already knew about his situation, hearing it from him was depressing.


    ¡°Then you can¡¯t also remember smiles, or tears, or arguments, or even a moment of affection,¡± I added and he smiled sadly.


    ¡°No. Nothing like that, nothing human. Ah, that expression. Are you feeling sorry for me?¡± he asked with a slight touch of criticism.


    I shook my head. ¡°No. I was trying to put myself in your place, forgetting my mom and all the times I argued with her. And all the times we made up. And all the times we sat together to watch TV. Or even all the times she woke up earlier just to make me breakfast. Forgetting all that would be very sad.¡±


    He seemed satisfied with my answer and took a deep breath.


    ¡°I still feel like that sometimes,¡± he said. ¡°In the beginning I felt like that every day. Not knowing who I was or what I¡¯d lost. But now Steven and the others fill part of that void. They reaffirm my existence every day. And now you, too. It¡¯s really scary, the feeling that you suddenly ceased to exist. That suddenly there¡¯s no one in the world that remembers you, that recognizes you, that knows who you are. I felt really lost when, after months of search, the police informed me they were giving up on my case, that they¡¯d done all they could but no one had come forth to reclaim me, as if I were something unwanted that someone had just thrown away. It was a really devastating feeling. As if the entire world had closed over me and I couldn¡¯t breathe.¡±


    Suddenly I recalled the empty chair at our lunch table. Would Gabriel feel something like that too? His words echoed in my mind once again, the insistence with which he kept affirming that everything would be as if he¡¯d never existed. Could it be that he felt nothing? Was he so different from us Human Beings?


    ¡°Did you stop looking for your past?¡± I asked and he lowered his head.


    ¡°I did. For some time, even after being a student here, I kept searching on my own, looking for clues that might put me on the right track, until I decided to go to the park where I was found. Some say that visiting a place where we have been before can help trigger a memory, and the only place I knew I¡¯d been for sure was that park. And, in fact, something did change. I couldn¡¯t remember anything, there were no images or flashbacks, but I knew without the shadow of a doubt that there was something, something wrong with my past. Something I¡¯ve done that I shouldn¡¯t have done,¡± he admitted, looking at me as if confessing a sin.


    ¡°Michael, how can you be sure of something like that?¡± I asked softly, trying to lighten up the heavy mood, but he shook his head.


    ¡°I know. I¡¯m sure. Steven says that¡¯s why, even though there¡¯s nothing wrong with my brain, I can¡¯t recall what happened. Because in truth I do not want to remember. And I decided that it was better like this. I know I¡¯m running from who I am, that I¡¯m being a coward. That I¡¯m probably getting away with something that certainly had its consequences. But I like my life now. I don¡¯t want it to change. So I tell myself that what happened, the accident, that it wasn¡¯t all bad, quite the contrary. It¡¯s a second chance. Pretty pathetic, eh?¡±


    I kept silent not knowing what to say. I wanted to comfort him, to convince him that he was wrong, that there was no way he might have done something that wrong. After all, this was Michael we were talking about, and the Michael I knew could never hurt anyone. I was sure that people losing their memory wouldn¡¯t change their nature all that much. We weren¡¯t just what we remembered, our being was something deeper than simple stored information; or at least that was what I thought.


    However, the absolute certainty with which he¡¯d told me those things made any attempt to comfort him sound like simple pity, and I didn¡¯t want him thinking I felt sorry for him again.


    ¡°As far as I¡¯m concerned,¡± I said under my breath still searching for the right words, ¡°you are Michael. That¡¯s who you are, and that¡¯s enough. Someone told me that we Humans have the right to choose,¡± I added recalling Gabriel¡¯s heavy voice when he¡¯d told me he had no choice. ¡°So, choosing to start over is a right we have. The important thing is who we are today, and who we want to be tomorrow. What we¡¯ve been cannot be changed. It can be forgotten, but never changed. So the only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to be a better person than we were. Even if you don¡¯t remember your past, Michael, that¡¯s what you¡¯re trying to do, right?¡± I asked, facing him. He was looking at me, listening to my every word, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling embarrassed for having had the courage to tell him something like that. ¡°So, everything is fine,¡± I concluded, smiling awkwardly, even more embarrassed by his silence. ¡°At least that¡¯s what I think.¡±


    I lowered my gaze, running from his, and stared at the green grass, feeling happy with myself for being able to put into words more or less what I thought. In truth I couldn¡¯t care less about who he¡¯d been. That didn¡¯t matter at all. It was with the Michael before me that I¡¯d fallen in love, not his past.


    Suddenly his arms were around me, hugging me against his warm chest. I felt lost in his embrace that made me fell even smaller, and I heard him take a deep breath, his chin resting on the top of my head.


    ¡°Michael,¡± I whispered, not knowing what to do, my heart beating too fast.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, just a little bit more,¡± he told me, his voice hardly audible. ¡°Today I¡¯ve heard a lot of important things. And what you¡¯ve just told me, if you knew what it means to me hearing someone telling me that it¡¯s all right being who I am, that it¡¯s okay to run away like a coward.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think ... you¡¯re a coward,¡± I managed to reply and he laughed.


    ¡°You don¡¯t exist. Well, of course you exist. I¡¯m really grateful for that.¡± His arms released me and I sat up, avoiding having to look at him. ¡°When I¡¯m with you all my dark shadows simply disappear.¡±


    ¡°Shadows, Michael, you don¡¯t have any shadows. You¡¯re like a sun.¡±


    He laughed again and placed a warm hand on my head.


    ¡°Did you know that¡¯s exactly how I see you. Like a sun,¡± he said and I looked at him in disbelief. Me? A sun? Me who was always so insignificant, so insecure, so dull. How could I ever be a sun? I was just one more shadow.


    Michael released me from his touch, looking up at the sky once again, and I couldn¡¯t help stare at his soft expression, the angles of his jaw, his firm but elegant neck. I wished I could hug him like he¡¯d hugged me, feel the warmth of his skin against mine, kiss his face.


    ¡°I think we¡¯d better get going. It will be dark soon. I don¡¯t want you returning home after dark. Want me to take you? It isn¡¯t that far, right?¡± His bright smile made me blush and feel guilty for my impure thoughts.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need. Thank you. I¡¯ll get there in an instant.¡±


    ¡°You sure?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Besides, Gabriel must be home by now,¡± I added, using him as an excuse once more, certain that mentioning his name would leave others more at ease, and Michael nodded, proving me right.

 Chapter 6 - Part 3

    Part 3


    As soon as I opened the door I heard Lea¡¯s bell running towards me and so I picked him up.


    ¡°Hey there! I had the most incredible day!¡± I told him, still brimming with happiness, and the kitten purred. I took him to the kitchen to feed him and went upstairs for a warm shower.


    As usual Gabriel wasn¡¯t at home, which meant I had time for myself. And so I dropped on the bed, hair still wet, and closed my eyes replaying over and over again my wonderful afternoon. In my mind I could feel Michael¡¯s lips caressing my skin, his warmth warming me up, his smile melting my heart ...


    Lea¡¯s bell and his sudden weight on my belly brought me back to reality and I smiled at the intrigued eyes watching me.


    ¡°Hum ... Is it time already?¡± I asked, my brain delightfully dormant, and took a peek at the alarm clock. ¡°Damn! This late already?¡± I grumbled sitting up and Lea jumped from my lap since it had become dangerously unstable. ¡°I¡¯ll only have time to cook something simple ... Well, I¡¯m not that hungry anyway.¡± I argued, standing up and left the room followed by Lea¡¯s bell. ¡°How about some frozen lasagna?¡± I asked as I entered the kitchen and the kitten jumped onto Gabriel¡¯s chair. ¡°You think it¡¯s worth it ...?¡± I recalled the last two dinners I¡¯d left on the stove and that had remained there, untouched. Lea licked a paw and used it to wash behind his ears. I sighed. ¡°All right, then ...¡± I conceded and took two portions from the freezer.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    I didn¡¯t even know if he¡¯d return home. Since our talk, on Friday, that something had changed. In the beginning I hadn¡¯t quite noticed what. During the last week I¡¯d grown used to a certain routine and had, subsequently, started to understand myself better, when I was near him. Of course his presence still disturbed me deeply, leaving me completely terrified but, somehow, I¡¯d been able to come up with some strategies that allowed me to circumvent the situation. And now, suddenly, everything had changed again ... It was as if we¡¯d gone back in time, to a stage even colder and more distant then it had been when our... relationship had begun.


    I took a deep breath wondering why that had to bother me, and still was unable to stop conjecturing about the reasons behind that change. Was it because of our talk? Or did he think our Contract was almost finished?


    The timer rang. I opened the oven and took out my dinner. It smelled good and the cheese spread over the pasta was slightly toasted. I turned off the oven and took a plate from the cupboard.


    I ate in silence, with Lea as my company while he went on with his hygiene. Then I covered what was left with a piece of cellophane and went up to my room. The small kitten followed me as usual and, nuzzling my pillow, laid down on my bed. I smiled at his bright eyes and followed his example. It was useless thinking about studying and, since awake or a sleep I was inevitably going to dream about Michael, I decided to go to bed earlier.

 Chapter 7 - Part 1

    Part 1


    Tuesday began like all other Tuesdays ¡ª with the detestable sound of my alarm clock. And everything went on as it was supposed to, at least until I went down to the kitchen.


    The first thought that occurred me and immediately froze me by the door was a ¡®he¡¯s back.¡¯ Then I noticed the lasagna I¡¯d left for him was gone, which made slightly happy. Next, an unsettling sensation invaded my body and when I dared look at him I noticed he was observing me with a critical look. In a split second I couldn¡¯t help think about how disturbing he could be, sitting there, unmoving. His shirt and pants were all black, like his hair, making his skin look even paler.


    ¡°That won¡¯t do,¡± he finally told me in his velvet tone, making me shiver. ¡°Go and put on the white skirt, the one with the red ribbon.¡±


    I was stunned, for a moment, trying hard to understand what he¡¯d just said. Lea, on his lap, opened his eyes to peer at me and went back to nuzzling his white, long hands, as if he couldn¡¯t care less.


    ¡°What?¡± I managed to ask and he raised an eyebrow, my question evidently testing his patience.


    ¡°Go and change your clothes. Put on the white skirt.¡±


    I felt really glad when anger bubbled inside me since his expression, right then, was really scary.Stolen novel; please report.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked frowning.


    ¡°Because I told you so. It¡¯s time we go into the next phase. This is dragging way too much for my taste,¡± he declared, his deep voice slightly impatient.


    ¡°What next phase?¡±


    ¡°Just do what I tell you! Or are you going to make me destroy all your clothes except the ones I want you to wear?¡± I shuddered don¡¯t know if from anger or from the fear that made my heart pound in my ears. I turned around and ran up stairs, stomping all the way up in a childish challenge. I poured my anger on the wardrobe¡¯s door when I opened it and pulled out the skirt he had told me to wear. It was a white, knee-high, circle skirt that tied around the waist with a red silky ribbon. I took off the one I¡¯d been wearing, one of the few long skirts I now possessed, and unwillingly changed it for the white one.


    The feeling of having just been clearly and completely manipulated irritated me deeply, it was frustrating and scary beyond anything rational. It made me too aware that he could do whatever he pleased, and that there was nothing I could do about it.


    I also had to change my green and white jumper for a red one with a neckline that I insistently pulled up.


    I went back downstairs, walking carefully on account of my heels, since I also had to change my shoes, and stopped by the kitchen door, facing him angrily, although I knew it was completely useless.


    He looked at me from head to toe, seeming completely indifferent, and nodded one single time approvingly.


    ¡°What the hell is going on?¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t answer.


    ¡°See you at school. Don¡¯t even think about changing your clothes,¡± he warned me with a threatening glare that made me take a step back and, before my frightened eyes, disappeared as if he¡¯d never even been there.

 Chapter 7 - Part 2

    Part 2


    Due to that annoying waste of time, I had to practically run all the way to school and, even so, arrived after the first bell. My salvation was that our first class was English and the teacher didn¡¯t seem to notice my tardiness. As to be expected he was already there, at the back of the room, and his black eyes followed me unceremoniously, leaving me tense. I hadn¡¯t changed clothes, if that was what he was checking!The thought hadn''t even crossed my mind, after his veiled threat.


    Steph arrived nearly fifteen minutes late, beating her own personal record. We spent the rest of class talking, Joanne turning backwards in her chair, about what had happened the previous day. Joanne sounded even more excited than Steph, firmly guaranteeing Michael¡¯s interest on me, and I had to ask them more than once to stop sounding so excited about something that probably would never happen. I almost felt relieved when class was over and we had to change classrooms. Kevin¡¯s silent company was like a balm for my tired mind of having to deal with Gabriel and Michael, alternately.


    We met again at lunchtime and Gabriel joined us. The ¡®Michael¡¯ subject was once again the main topic and, for quite some time, Joe and Albert still expected to see him arrive at the cafeteria¡¯s door. As he didn¡¯t show up, Joe¡¯s attention turned towards Gabriel, mentioning how the CD he had lent him was amazing. I saw him smile, in that mask of friendliness, and couldn¡¯t help wonder if that daily act didn¡¯t bother him, if he was really insensitive to Human feelings, if the only thing that really mattered to him was fulfilling that Contract.


    When he finished eating Gabriel stood up, picking up his tray, and invited me to accompany him to our daily task.


    ¡°We already missed yesterday. We better go,¡± he apologize with a smile that looked even falser, and I whimpered knowing I couldn¡¯t deny him. Once more he was the one deciding what I had to do.


    We walked in silence as my emotions mixed chaotically.


    On the one hand, I couldn¡¯t help feeling sad, since all my efforts to better deal with him had been all for nothing. Overnight, Gabriel had become someone completely impregnable, a terrifying icy stone. But, on the other hand, I couldn¡¯t feel happier knowing I was about to see Michael again, even though I still felt embarrassed every time I recalled our last meeting.


    When we reached the door leading outside, he opened it, giving me passage, and I stepped outside noticing I¡¯d been right. That gesture had been exactly like Michael¡¯s.


    We walked side by side across the grass and Michael noticed us at a distance.


    ¡°Hey! Hi, Mari! Gabriel!¡± he greeted us with a warm smile and Gabriel waved back at him.


    I muttered a shy and global ¡®hello¡¯ when we reached them and Steven answered me friendly, while Francis frowned and Meggie jumped at Gabriel¡¯s neck.


    ¡°Gabriel! I missed you!¡± she cried out with a mischievous smile, and he hugged her, kissing her soft blushed cheek.


    ¡°So sorry. Promise it won¡¯t happen again,¡± he told her gently and she seemed convinced. Lauren stared at me with cold eyes, almost like she wanted to kill me, and Michael approached me with such a sweet expression that I thought I would melt.


    ¡°Everything okay?¡± he asked me in a lower tone than usual in words that seemed meant only for me, and I nodded, blushing. ¡°I was worried yesterday. I shouldn¡¯t have let you convince me so easily to let you walk home alone!¡±


    ¡°Oh, nothing happened,¡± I assured him, not knowing where I could possibly store all my happiness. ¡°Ah, right!¡± I remembered, searching my handbag. ¡°I brought you a new book.¡±


    ¡°Hey, wasn¡¯t it my turn?¡± he complained and I smiled as I handed it to him.


    ¡°I know you didn¡¯t bring one, right? Because you were thinking about all that stuff. It¡¯s okay,¡± I added noticing his suddenly serious expression. ¡°I want you to read this one. It¡¯s about our real self. It can be a bit ... philosophic. It¡¯s probably not your style.¡± He took the book from my hands and smiled, washing that bright light over me.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    All my worries disappeared instantly. I couldn¡¯t care anymore if he was going to like it or not, or if he was even going to read it. All I knew was that I could even die, just to see him smile like that.


    Suddenly, a cold wind made me shiver, freezing me inside. My mind took a few seconds to understand what was going on and, as soon as it did, panic squeezed my chest stealing my breath away. I urgently looked for him and saw him not that far away, between Lauren and Meggie, who were telling him something apparently amusing. Yet, he wasn¡¯t listening, his dark eyes locked on me. Completely terrified by the expansive strength of his presence, I noticed that on his statue-like face only his pale lips were moving, fast and silent.


    A warm hand held my arm and Michael¡¯s voice sounded distant, lost among the deafening sound of my heartbeat. What was he doing? Was he going to attack Michael again? If so, how? How could I protect him?


    His dark gaze became alight with that reddish glow and I wanted to scream! Warn them! Tell them to run! I felt the instant he released his strength like a thunderous explosion and the world spun around me.


    I only understood it later. I had fallen, my head hurt. That strength had been aimed at me.


    I saw Michael leaning over me, his panicked expression, shouting something I couldn¡¯t hear. I turned my gaze, stubbornly fighting the drowsiness I felt, and saw Steven running towards me. Gabriel didn¡¯t even move, remaining exactly where he was. His perfect pale face unchanging, and yet, the pain in his eyes was so unexpected that it my heart hurt.


    I tried to fight against that numbness, tell everyone I was okay, that there was nothing to worry about, but the weight over my eyelids won and darkness enveloped my ability to think.


    The sound of running steps, the frenetic beating of something near my ear, the sound of ragged breathing, arms that held me firmly ... And the warmth that made me feel more at ease and safe ...


    I heard voices, far away, and words I didn¡¯t understand.


    The warmth of those strong arms abandoned me.


    The voices went on, urgently, and once more I wished I could tell them that everything was all right. I didn¡¯t want them to worry and, worst of all, I didn¡¯t want anyone thinking about calling my mom, in Paris, to tell her about what had happened. That would only make her worry in vain.


    A soft caress touched my skin.


    ¡°Mari,¡± his voice cut my heart. I didn¡¯t want that pained tone to be because of me. Michael ...


    His hand disappeared as if he¡¯d heard me and gotten scared, and I heard what sounded like a chair falling. I fought hard to open my eyes and wake up from that forced sleep, but it was no use and his rushed footsteps reached my ears, as he ran away from there.


    A light laughter froze me inside and my heart exploded painfully. Was he there? Right beside me? And I couldn¡¯t even move! That was the exact situation that had made me spend numerous terrifying and sleepless nights, when he¡¯d first started sleeping in the living room. Me, lying somewhere, completely defenseless. Not that there was anything I could do if I were awake, I thought, trying to rationalize the situation.


    ¡°Suileabhan,¡± I heard his deep voice in that single word and all the cells in my body shook. A small bell echoed somewhere. ¡°Did you see that? Interesting,¡± I heard him again, his tone sarcastic and ice cold. ¡°Follow him,¡± he ordered and the bell rang again. Who was he speaking to? And follow who? Michael? Just the thought made me terrified. Why? What was he thinking??


    I felt a touch on my face, on the opposite side where Michael had touched me, and was immediately petrified, unable to breathe. His soft fingers slid over my skin, lightly drawing the contour of my chin. I felt his breath, surprisingly warm, and something cold and soft briefly touched my lips.


    ¡°Mariane ...¡± The sound of my name in his voice ordered my chest to breathe in and I gasped for air as if I had been drowning. His ice-cold hand supported my neck, helping me raise my head, and I coughed, chocking. ¡°Soon ... just a little longer,¡± I heard him again and his voice became an inaudible whisper. ¡°Right now, how I wish that you¡¯d never read that spell ...¡±


    I sat up with a scream, squeezing my burning chest as I fought for every breath and looked around, searching for him in panic.


    ¡°Mari! Take it easy!¡± I instinctively ran from the hand that touched me on the shoulder and looked at him, too frightened to speak. Steven raised both his hands, trying to calm me down, and I looked around once more. ¡°Everything¡¯s okay,¡± he guaranteed and I slowly started to recover control over my own body. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± I whispered and took a shaky hand to my face. I had to control myself.


    I looked around once more and recognized the infirmary. I was lying on one of three beds and the screen between the beds was opened. On the other side were a table and a chair, but there was no one else around.


    ¡°Michael. He brought you here,¡± he informed me and I looked at him, surprised. So that hadn¡¯t been a dream, I thought. And I felt childishly disappointed seeing he was no longer there. ¡°He wanted to stay,¡± Steven added with a smile and I asked myself if my disappointment had been that obvious. ¡°But he wasn¡¯t feeling all that well. To tell you the truth, Michael has few issues when dealing with situations like this. Sick people, doctors, medical facilities.¡±


    I lowered my head remembering his frightened expression and felt sad for having been the cause of his pain.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. It wasn¡¯t you fault,¡± he said with a friendly smile. ¡°Once, during a game, I was hit with a tennis ball on the forehead, right here.¡± He pointed right between his eyes. ¡°I was unconscious for about half an hour and, when I woke up, he was right beside me, crying as if he were a three-year-old. Absolutely unbelievable, for a guy his age,¡± he added with a sigh, but the softness in his voice made me smile. ¡°The nurse was here and took a look at you. She told him you were all right, but since you wouldn¡¯t wake up, I guess he kind of stressed up. I met him in the corridor when I was coming to see how you were doing, and he asked me to keep an eye on you.¡±


    I took a deep breath and pulled away the blanket covering me. Steven looked surprised and I faced him seriously.


    ¡°Do you know where he is?¡± I asked in a firm tone that seemed to surprise him even more.


    ¡°Yeah. I mean, I suppose. What are you thinking?¡±


    ¡°I want to go and meet him, of course. I have to show him there¡¯s nothing to fear. That I¡¯m okay! Don¡¯t want him thinking any unnecessary things,¡± I told him, standing up, but a dizzy spell almost made me fall again.


    ¡°That can wait!¡± Steven countered urgently as he held me. ¡°The nurse said you should rest!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Probably low blood pressure. I¡¯m fine now.¡±


    ¡°Clearly you¡¯re not! I just have to look at you. You look terrible!¡±


    I smiled bitterly. I always looked terrible, I thought. ¡°I promise I¡¯ll get some rest. After. Now take me to him. You know I¡¯m right,¡± I added, making use of his sense of protection towards Michael, and he groaned, beaten.


    ¡°But after, you¡¯ll return here!¡±


    ¡°Promise.¡± He sighed again and put an arm around my waist, supporting me and almost raising me from the floor.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need. I can walk.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah. We just saw well that went,¡± he grumbled, accompanying my much smaller footsteps. ¡°If you faint again, and this time break a bone, Michael will kill me!¡±


    I laughed just trying to imagine Michael angry, and we left the infirmary at a really slow pace. Steven walked carefully beside me, completely overprotective. I, on the other hand, only wished we could reach Michael as soon as possible. And then, as if he¡¯d just materialized right in front of us, Gabriel was there, freezing me in place.


    His expression ... I¡¯d never seen him like that. The air around us became heavy and his gaze glowed with that reddish light. He was furious. Insanely, all I wanted was to run way, but my legs wouldn¡¯t obey, and so I stood there, shaking uncontrollably.


    Steven looked at me, worried, unable to understand what was going on, tightening his grip around my waist, probably fearing my legs would turn into much. And I saw, from the corner of my eye, he was telling me something ... something that I couldn¡¯t hear anymore.


    ¡°Mariane. Come!¡± Gabriel commanded in his soft tone that, even so, filled me with terror, and I saw him raise his arm, his pale hand outstretched towards me reinforcing his words, making it impossible to disobey them. His hard gaze wouldn¡¯t stand for a denial, just like it hadn¡¯t that morning, but this time there was something different about him. The self-control I¡¯d always seen him show was completely gone, and I was aware for the first time of just how much he usually restrained himself.


    Images from the strange dream I¡¯d had came back to me, consuming what little was left of my sanity. His cold fingers on my face, his warm breath on my skin, and those words.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and my chest burned painfully. His command, however, remained in that outstretched hand.


    Two hands held me by the shoulders and shook me hard, roughly turning me around, although I couldn¡¯t look away from Gabriel. I knew Steven was calling my name, but his voice couldn¡¯t reach me.


    Gabriel¡¯s furious gaze looked away from me to linger on Steven and my heart stopped as a deep hatred took over his expression. No!


    ¡°Mari!¡±


    I was stunned for a moment. His voice had invaded the darkness surrounding me like a bright ray of light, breaking the barrier keeping me away from the real world. Now I could hear Steven, asking me if I was all right, his warm, strong hands encircling my arms.


    Michael ... I could hear him gasping for air right behind me, as if he¡¯d run there. But Gabriel didn¡¯t seem to notice his presence. The mark on my wrist stung. Panicking, I instinctively knew what was happening. The Contract ... he was about to break it!


    ¡°No!¡± I shouted, not knowing if my voice would obey me, and pushed Steven away, freeing myself from his hands.


    My terrified gaze turned to Michael, towards the light that guaranteed my freedom and, without even thinking, I ran to him. His arms surrounded me protectively and I squeezed his warm and soft sweater, making sure he wouldn¡¯t push me away. His heat swept over my frozen body, restoring my ability to breathe, my lungs hurting.


    I wanted to cry and my frightened gaze turned to Gabriel. I saw him lower his empty head, his attention once more locked on me, and I clenched my teeth hard when he took a step towards us. I was sure he was about to come and grab me, and all I could wish was that he would simply disappear.


    Steven took a step to the side, recovering from the hard push I¡¯d given him, and took on a threatening stand.


    Gabriel stopped, indifferently gazing at the obstacle in his way, and I felt my wrist burn just like before.


    I closed my eyes hard, not knowing what to do to prevent what I knew was about to happen, and held onto Michael¡¯s sweater.


    ¡°Go away!¡± I shouted in despair. ¡°Go away! Go away ... go away ...¡± I commanded repeatedly, my voice breaking down to a whisper, as if those were magical words that needed to be repeated a thousand times to become real, until a warm hand rested on my head.


    ¡°He¡¯s gone, Mari.¡± His soft voice broke the irrational cycle over which my mind had closed itself, and his hand caressed my hair. ¡°He¡¯s gone,¡± he repeated, trying to calm me down, and I refused to open my eyes, fearing Michael could be wrong.


    ¡°What the hell was that?¡± another voice inquired and I became numb as finally all tension left my body.


    ¡°Who knows?¡± Michael responded in an undertone, still holding me against his chest.


    ¡°Is she okay?¡± Steven asked, sounding worried, and Michael caressed my hair once again, calming me down.


    ¡°Yeah. She¡¯ll be fine,¡± he assured as if those words were a lullaby, and Steven took a deep breath.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be going then. If you need me, call. If not we¡¯ll talk later.¡± Everything was silent for a moment and then I heard his footsteps as he walked away.


    Michael kept his arms around me for what felt like an eternity, simply waiting. Slowly his calm and tranquility vanquished my fear and I stopped shaking. My breath went back to normal and all that was left was a bitter taste in my mouth.


    When I was finally able to release him from my grip his arms loosened up, as if he¡¯d been waiting for that signal.


    ¡°Are you all right?¡± he asked, his low voice echoing through the corridor, and I opened my eyes, as usual dried of any tears, nodding. Although he¡¯d released me from his embrace, he kept holding me, probably fearing I might fall, and I lowered my head, quickly trying to put my thoughts in order.


    He¡¯d surely ask for some kind of explanation regarding what just happened or why I¡¯d foolishly reacted the way I did. However, I was yet to understand it myself, much less be able try to explain it. It had all happened so fast and there were so many things amiss. If only I could cry. Maybe that would give me some time think.


    His warm hand lifted my chin, surprising me, and I raised my head to face him. He looked at me in silence, observing me for an instant to make sure I¡¯d been honest in my response, and I was immediately grateful that I couldn¡¯t cry. With a smile, he held my hand, and pulled me along to walk with him.


    ¡°I¡¯m taking you with me,¡± he simply stated and I blinked, confused.


    ¡°Taking me?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m taking you to my home,¡± he added in a matter of fact tone. I couldn¡¯t believe what I¡¯d just heard.


    ¡°Mi ...¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s decided!¡± He cut me off, peering at me over his shoulder with that bright smile on his lips, and went on, dragging me down the corridor towards the main door. The corridors were empty. Everyone who still remained at school at that hour was in class.


    ¡°Michael, I can¡¯t just go to your house,¡± I argued slightly sad at the knowledge I was right. The hand that still held mine made everything that just happened, all my fears, seem like a nightmare, and I wished I could extend that feeling for as long as possible.


    ¡°Of course you can! Your mother is away, right? So? Don¡¯t you trust me?¡± he asked, peering at me once again, and I felt my cheeks blush.


    ¡°That¡¯s not the point. Of course I trust you.¡±


    ¡°Then it¡¯s decided!¡± he declared. ¡°You¡¯re not going back to that house!¡± His solemn tone surprised me so much that I didn¡¯t protest any longer.


    Michael led me towards the bus stop and we didn¡¯t have to wait long until the ¡®54¡¯ stopped right in front of us. I was still trying to ground myself when we arrived at our stop, Blackheath, as it was written on a sign. Once again he pulled me by my hand, which he had refused to let go the whole time, and we walked down the road up to a four-story building with small flower beds in the front. Michael walked up to one of the doors and opened it, releasing me for the first time to grant me passage inside.


    I followed him down a narrow corridor to a square room. The light pouring down from the window and through the white curtains wasn¡¯t enough to make that compartment bright. On the opposite wall, next to the window, was a gray couch, strategically placed in front of a television. On the other side a cupboard with glass doors through which several plates and other glass utensils could be seen. On the walls were some pictures and, on my left, a big wooden crucifix. I noticed the pictures showed several men in cassocks and couldn¡¯t help recognize one of them, since he was right there in person, sitting at the small table, reading a book.


    He looked to be about sixty-years-old, I guessed by the quantity of gray hair crowning his head and the wrinkles marking the corners his eyes, mouth and forehead. The glasses he wore were hanging at the tip of his thin nose, and the eyes that watched us were pale blue, almost like water. The white collar above his black shirt undeniably marked his profession and I immediately knew he was Father Jorge, Michael¡¯s guardian.


    As soon as he noticed us, a pleasant smile came over his face and his expression became brighter.


    ¡°Welcome back, Michael,¡± he greeted him and Michael stepped forward, leaving me by the door. I was sure Father Jorge would question my presence. What could I possibly tell him now that I was there? How was Michael going to explain bringing me to his house, just like that? I felt I should probably leave, knowing how Michael tried hard not to make trouble for the man who had sheltered him. Now I was the one making trouble for the both of them.


    ¡°Father Jorge, I¡¯m sorry for being so late,¡± he said, sounding truly regretful, and I felt even worse. That, too, had been because of me.


    ¡°Um,¡± I muttered, calling their attention, and politely smiled at the watery blue eyes watching me curiously. ¡°Good afternoon, I¡¯m really sorry to disturb you.¡± I was unable to avoid feeling embarrassed by that awkward situation and turned to Michael. ¡°Listen, I¡¯m really thankful for everything and all, but I think I better get going and ...¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Michael¡¯s response silenced me immediately and I looked at him in complete disbelief. He wasn¡¯t joking and the deep frown on his forehead stated it clearly. ¡°No way!¡± he added in the same tone and I took a nervous look at Father Jorge, who seemed just as surprised. However, he quickly recovered, sitting straight in his chair, and put on a full smile.


    ¡°Michael, so I guess you were about to ask me something?¡± he led him on and Michael¡¯s tense shoulders became more relaxed.


    ¡°Ah, I ...¡± he stammered, obviously looking for the right words, and I truly felt guilty for being the cause of that unpleasant situation. ¡°This is Mariane,¡± he finally said. Father Jorge took another look at me. ¡°And I wanted to ask you if she could spend the night here, with us.¡± Michael lowered his gaze and I felt sad. I¡¯d never seen such an expression on his usually bright face. Father Jorge, however, looked satisfied.


    ¡°I see. This girl, you trust her enough to bring her into our home?¡± he asked in that same calm tone, and I looked at him, not knowing if I should be offended or annoyed at him for trapping Michael in such a difficult situation.


    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°And what does she mean to you, Michael?¡±


    The uneasiness I felt faded as my heart jumped, and I stepped forward nervously.


    ¡°I thank you for everything!¡± I rushed in a clumsy voice. ¡°But really ...¡±


    ¡°Hush, child!¡± Father Jorge interrupted me as he turned his smile in my direction. ¡°This is between Michael and I. He made a request. However, we can¡¯t ask for something without having a good reason to do it. And that¡¯s what I want to hear.¡± I looked at Michael, who seemed to be at a loss for words, and mentally asked him for forgiveness. ¡°What do you say, Michael?¡±


    ¡°Mari is ... important to me,¡± he whispered, but then his expression became firmer, more decided, and he raised his head to face him. ¡°She is important to me. And she needs help! And I want to help her!¡± he stated vehemently.


    Although I knew I shouldn¡¯t, I felt immensely happy. Important. Me. I could hardly believe I¡¯d just heard him say those words.


    Father Jorge nodded approvingly, as if he¡¯d been expecting him to say exactly that, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°Very well. She may stay,¡± he told him and Michael smiled, brightening the entire room.


    ¡°Thank you! Thank you very much!¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes,¡± Father Jorge agreed dismissively, waving his hand as if the matter had no real importance, and his expression became more casual. ¡°Now, Michael, did you buy what I asked?¡±


    Michael¡¯s eyes widened and he seemed to panic.


    ¡°Ah! No. Completely forgot. So sorry! I¡¯ll be right back.¡± he said in one breath, nervously looking for the keys in his pockets, and I couldn¡¯t help following his every move. That Michael was also someone I still didn¡¯t know.


    ¡°Right pocket, boy,¡± Father Jorge told him, looking amused, and Michael finally found his keys.


    ¡°I¡¯m going. Be back in a second!¡± he promised and turned to me, his cheeks slightly blushed. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back! Stay here!¡± I nodded, thinking how amazing it was that he too, could make an expression like that.


    I heard his rushed steps down the corridor and then the front door closing with too much strength.


    I was immediately aware of the presence of Michael¡¯s guardian and turned to face him.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry for all this mess,¡± I said as he peered at me over his glasses. ¡°And maybe I should really get going. Michael was really nice, and I¡¯m truly thankful, but I don¡¯t want to impose.¡±


    He smiled and I couldn¡¯t help notice that his smile always gave him a peaceful expression.


    ¡°Child. Mariane, right?¡± he asked just to be sure and I nodded. ¡°You¡¯re not bothering us at all. I¡¯m sorry if our previous conversation made you feel ... unwelcome. That wasn¡¯t my intention.¡± He stood up and I noticed he was a tall, slender man. ¡°Please, do sit down.¡± He invited me towards the couch and I obeyed, not wanting to look indelicate. He pulled up a chair and sat beside me. ¡°Did you know this is the first time he¡¯s ever brought over a girl?¡± he asked with a smile, still making me feel self-conscious. ¡°Well, to tell you the truth, the only friend he has ever brought home was Steven. And even then, the invitation was more mine than his.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help feel surprised at that. No one else? Not even Francis? Sure, I rarely invited my friends over, but I¡¯d spent a few afternoons playing around with Steph, Joanne and Joe, under the pretext of studying. ¡°It has always been like this, since Michael has come to live here. And I understand the way he thinks. But no one can really live like this.¡±


    ¡°Michael doesn¡¯t want to bother you ...¡± I added and he smiled.


    ¡°Yes, I know. But he takes it to extremes. Did you know this was the first time he clearly asked me for something?¡± I didn¡¯t know what to answer. ¡°He doesn¡¯t even ask me for the most basic things, like a schoolbook, a notebook, or even money for the bus. I always have to pay attention to everything. He even walked to school for a whole week, because I forgot to give him money for the fare. And more than once Steven had to lend him sheets of paper so he could take notes in class. Do you understand, Mariane?¡±


    I nodded. Yes, I understood the reason of his inner-struggle, the reason why those words had been so difficult for him. What I didn¡¯t understand was what all that really meant.


    ¡°And now he suddenly comes home and asks me to let you stay with us. I don¡¯t know what happened and I don¡¯t need to know,¡± he added with a kind smile. ¡°But it seems Michael is convinced you need help.¡±


    I lowered my head. Yes, I did, but there was nothing anyone could do for me.


    ¡°Accept the help he is offering you, at least his good will. After giving up on his past, Michael stopped wishing for things. He abandoned the life he can¡¯t remember, but refuses to live his new one. When there¡¯s a need to make a decision, he always lets others decide for him. Even the classes he¡¯s attending. They¡¯re simply the ones where he graded the highest on the exams he had to take when returning to school. It¡¯s not like they¡¯re the ones he likes most. I guess he didn¡¯t even think about it. He let his grades choose for him, and that was that. That¡¯s how he¡¯s been living up till now. I¡¯m sorry for telling all this. I suppose you have your own problems, too. But maybe, maybe you¡¯ll be able to wake him up from his numbness,¡± he added, hopefully, and I squeezed my hands together.


    ¡°I understand all that, but ... The truth is I¡¯m not capable of anything much. Michael and I, we¡¯ve only known each other for a few days. Sure we have similar tastes and have spent some time together, but in the end, I don¡¯t think I have that kind of strength. Besides, right now, I can¡¯t give anything good to anyone. The only thing I can do is get others into trouble, or I wouldn¡¯t be here, now.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry, Mariane,¡± Father Jorge assured me with his understanding and fatherly smile. ¡°Sometimes, just being there is enough to save a Soul.¡±

 Chapter 7 - Part 3

    Michael returned a few minutes later and I couldn''t help smile as I noticed his frustrated expression. I watched as he walked down the corridor, towards the kitchen where Father Jorge had disappeared to after our talk, and waited patiently. A few minutes latter he appeared at the door again, scratching his head with an embarrassed look.


    "I''m back," he announced and took the chair where Father Jorge had sat on. "How are you feeling?"


    "I''m fine, Michael,".


    He nodded. "I''m sorry for before. He''s not usually like that."


    "Oh, I think he''s very nice," I stated and he looked surprised, ending up laughing.


    "That''s just like you," he said and his expression became serious. "Listen, I know that what I''ve said before wasn''t all that nice, so if you really don''t want to stay, if you want, I''ll take you back. I don''t want you feeling like I''m forcing you or anything."


    I lowered my gaze. I knew the right thing to do was to return home. That nothing would change by staying away for one night. That sooner or later I would have to go back and that when I did he''d be there waiting. Yet I felt so tired, so close to the limit that I could no longer see ... I needed time to put my thoughts in order, and near Michael there was always that mysterious and calming silence. I didn''t want to have to leave that sanctuary, at least not now, not as long as I could avoid it, no matter how selfish that might be.


    "I ... want to stay," I whispered, ashamed of myself, and he smiled.


    "That''s it, then. Let''s not talk about this any longer. Come. I''m sure you''d like to take a shower," he said, holding my hand and pulling me up.


    "But I don''t have anything."


    "Well, true we don''t have girls'' clothes lying around the house. So you''ll have to put up with some of mine. They should look huge on you," he observed, laughing, and I was sure he was having fun at my expense. But even that made me happy.


    Michael showed me to the bathroom and gave me a set of clean towels, a t-shirt and shorts that I could wear.


    "If you need anything else, call me." I nodded and closed the door when he disappeared down the corridor. The bathroom was as old as the rest of the house, but had been carefully cleaned. I took my shower, trying to make it as short as possible, and draped my wet hair with a towel. I put on the dark-blue t-shirt he gave me and sighed as it reached knee length. His shorts, completely hidden under the t-shirt, were beige and kept sliding down my legs. I tied a knot at the waistband and folded my own clothes. Then I dried my hair as much as possible using the towel, before stepping out into the corridor and walking up to the living room, shyly peering inside.


    Noticing me, Michael jumped to his feet, and I ran a hand across my scruffy hair.


    "Hmm, do you have anything I might use to straighten this up a bit?" I asked, too aware of how my straw-like hair looked like some small rodent''s nest, and he smiled amused, walking up to me.


    "It''s all standing up," he made fun, softly pulling a strand to make it stand even more, and I slapped his hand, stepping backwards.


    "Stop it!" I reprimanded and his initial smile gave way to a stream of laughter. "And stop making fun! I know it looks terrible! Just get me something I can comb it with!" I demanded, angry at how embarrassing all that was. Of all the people in the world, I had to look like that in front of him!


    "Ow, it''s not that bad," he told me, trying to appease me, and I looked away, annoyed at his condescending tone.


    "That''s because it''s not your hair!"


    "Fine. Put your things over there." He pointed towards a wooden ark over which some blankets had already been placed, and I crossed the room to do as he said. He then signaled me to follow him back to the bathroom and I stood by the door, watching as he opened a cabinet; his gentle face, his warm and strong hands.


    He gave me a small comb and his place in front of the mirror, and I immediately started untangling pale strands of hair, desperately fighting all the standing points. I was so focused in my task that it took me a while to notice him, leaning against the doorjamb, watching me over the mirror with a smile. My hands stopped for a moment and I clearly saw my face turn red. I thought about asking him to leave, reminding him of just how indelicate it was of him to just stand there, blatantly staring, but then ... his expression was so adorable. And I recalled what Father Jorge had told me. Maybe he was just curious, I thought, and went back to my task, avoiding meeting his gaze, trying to hide just how fast my heart was beating from him simply being there.


    After combing was done I set out to help Father Jorge set the table while Michael took his shower, and we finally sat down to have dinner.


    Michael wore cotton pants and a white t-shirt, and I couldn''t help stare, musing about how everything looked perfect on him, although I''d never seen him in such casual clothes.


    Father Jorge held his hands together in a moment of prayer and I did like him and Michael, accompanying them in that moment of silence. Then the ambiance was once again light and cheerful. Father Jorge asked me a lot of questions about my parents, school and what I''d like to do in the future. I answered them all, aware that Michael was listening closely, since he himself had never asked me any of those things. Next I talked about my interest in languages and literature, and Michael confirmed my passion, sharing some of the titles I had lent him. We discussed interesting books for quite some time, since Father Jorge was also a frequent reader, and I took a mental note of some of the titles that, just form hearing them talk, I wished I could read.


    It was almost ten o''clock when Father Jorge ended our friendly talk. I helped them with the dishes and practically forced them to let me dry them after they were washed.


    After everything was back in order, Father Jorge said good night, wishing we might sleep in the company of the angels, and disappeared down the corridor.


    Michael smiled, looking a bit flustered, and led me back to the living room.


    "Hmm, I know this is a bit embarrassing, but the truth is I don''t really have a room," he confessed, scratching his head, and I smiled as I noted his nervous habit. "Because I kind of dropped out of nowhere in Father Jorge''s life, so I usually sleep here. And, well, although it might not be very proper, you''ll have to keep me company."


    I laughed at his pained expression, as if he expected some kind of retaliation, but the truth was that I too was rather nervous, which made me quickly try to minimize the situation.


    "It''s fine!" I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible. "It will be like those end of the year sleepovers." I was painfully aware that was far from being true, since there were just the two of us in there.


    "Um, I don''t really recall ever being to one of those," he told me, pensive, and I felt guilty for having reminded him of unpleasant things.


    "Ah, I''m sorry."


    "Oh, no, nothing like that," he countered with a bright smile. "I was just thinking that it sounded fun. Maybe we could do something like that this year, too. After all, it is our last year. After this we will all go our separate ways."This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    "Yeah," I muttered, feeling suddenly sad. I''d never thought about that. "Steven and the others and you, you are all graduating." And they wouldn''t be attending Christ the King the next year. And I wouldn''t be able to spend my lunch breaks staring at him anymore.


    "You still have a year to go," he added, walking up to the couch and taking out the pillows. "You''ll sleep here," he informed me, placing a pillow and a soft quilt over it.


    "What about you?" I asked, looking around, and Michael placed a blanket on the floor.


    "I''ll be okay."


    "Oh, no way! This is your bed!" I contested, pointing to the couch.


    "Of course it is. That is why I''m lending it to you."


    "But I don''t want it. It''s just wrong! I come to your house, only make trouble and even steal your bed! I can very well sleep on the floor. It will be like camping," I argued but he just smiled, as if my words had just went in one ear and out the other. "Michael!"


    "Yes?"


    His melodic ''yes,'' worthy of someone who hadn''t listened to anything else but his own name, made me frown and fold my arms.


    "Are you always this stubborn?" I complained and he seemed amused.


    "You think I''m stubborn?" he asked with an almost childish curiosity. "No one has ever told me I''m stubborn." I gave up and sat on my borrowed bed, leaving him basking in his own victory. I lay down and watched him as he made his improvised bed. I followed his steps when he walked up to the lamp''s switch and turned it off. For a moment darkness was all I could see, but, with time, my eyes became used to the dark, and the pale light coming from the street lamps outside was enough to capture the room around me and his face turned my way.


    My heart jumped into a frenzy and I was grateful that, for once, he couldn''t see me blush.


    "Michael, thank you," I whispered in the darkness and thought I saw him smile.


    "Can I ask you a question?"


    I was surprised and apprehensive at the same time. He had never asked permission to question me about anything.


    "Sure."


    "He," he hesitated and his tense voice left me restless. "He, did he hurt you? Did he force you to do something against your will?"


    His voice echoed in the darkness, making my head hurt. Sure, I''d taken advantage of him not asking about what had happened to avoid talking about it. In truth I was yet to come up with a convincing explanation. So that was what he''d suspected. And that''s why he''d been so adamant in refusing to let me go home.


    "No. Gabriel didn''t hurt me," I answered, even though I couldn''t help shiver when my mind added a ''not yet, at least.''


    Michael took a deep breath and sounded relieved. "I''m sorry, it''s just that, I don''t think I''ve ever seen someone as scared as you, back then." I felt guilty again. Because I was weak, and was unable to control myself. I knew better than anyone that he would never do anything against me, that all he wished for was the fulfillment of that Contract. And yet I couldn''t stop the fear from taking over, devouring me wholly.


    "He scares me sometimes," I admitted, trying to be as honest as possible.


    "Yeah, somehow he was especially weird today. There was a moment there when I thought he was about to jump Steven."


    Kill him would be the right word. With a shudder I recalled the burning pain in my wrist. Yes, that was part of what had happened that I still couldn''t understand. I couldn''t say I knew him, since he wasn''t even Human to begin with. But I couldn''t shake the feeling that what had happened wasn''t something he would normally do. Up till then he had always tried to go as unnoticed as possible, or should I say, to look as Human as possible. He was kind and delicate with everyone, patient about things that I would never have put up with. I''d never seen him get angry or being aggressive towards anyone, not even heard him raise his tone, except with me when we were alone. And yet I was one-hundred-percent sure that that afternoon he''d almost killed Steven.


    "Maybe he got worried about you," Michael said, searching for an explanation, although I knew he was way off the mark. After all, all of it had been his doing right from the start. "He is very protective of you."


    "Protective?" I asked in disbelief, raising my head, and he laughed lightly, leaning his head on his hand to look at me.


    "Haven''t you noticed? He''s always looking at you. Even when we''re talking, he never stops following you with his eyes," he said, sounding amused. "I''ve felt it since the first day I met him. Back then he was really angry that I''d forgotten your name. Sometimes, the way he''s always around you reminds me of the way Steven is with me."


    I remained silent. Yes, I''d noticed the way Steven always discretely followed Michael from afar, even when it was just the two of us, keeping watch in silence as if he feared Michael might suddenly collapse. But if I''d noticed Steven''s behavior, why hadn''t I noticed Gabriel''s? And suddenly I knew. In all those short periods of time when I''d shared my lunchtime with Michael, I''d never noticed him even once. I noticed Steven only because Steven was looking at Michael. In truth, in that one-hour period, all I could see was Michael.


    "I''ve never noticed it," I confessed and he smiled again.


    "Maybe he feels responsible for you because your mother practically left you in his care," he proposed and I couldn''t help feel outraged. Him? Responsible for my well being? I knew all too well what he really wanted! But still I swallowed my words. Going on with that subject would only end up forcing me to explain things that I couldn''t explain. "Anyway, you should get some rest. It was a long day." I nodded.


    "Good night."


    "Good night, Mari"


    I made sure his voice was the last sound echoing in my mind. Yet I remained awake for quite some time, looking at his face lost in the shadows, his eyes closed, until I was too tired to keep mine opened, and finally fell asleep.


    A strong roar startled me, making my heart pound. The windstorm that forced me to cover my face was harsh, cutting my skin. I tried to breathe as fear took over my body. I knew that terrifying sound. It was the scream of his wings of destruction.


    Shaking uncontrollably, I peered between my raised arms and my terrified eyes saw him, right in front of me. I squinted my eyes, trying to bring my sight into focus and noticed we were not alone. He held something in his hand. A spear? The handle was black, like the ribbon wrapped around it, floating in the wind. The blade looked dangerously evil, in the shape of a crescent moon broken by three sharp, shiny points. I saw him stagger and my heart jumped painfully. There was blood on his hands, red and Human.


    I looked around. Where was I? What was happening? I was somewhere, sitting on a cold, hard stone floor. And my eyes found another presence. This one had wings, like those of the angels represented by the Church, but his were black. He held a long golden sword that seemed to glow, and was just standing there, shaking his head in disapproval, as he watched the scene unfolding before his eyes.


    I heard a scream. The wind cut me again, but I was so afraid I couldn''t even feel pain. I looked around, searching for him, and my mind knew another name to call him by, and it wasn''t Gabriel.


    The sound of metal against metal made me jump and I looked for him even more urgently. All I saw were two shadows, one black and one white, colliding in midair, and the shock was so great that the ground shook. And then I finally saw him, his long, black hair falling over his face like water, pouring forward and staining the white shadow with its darkness.


    I forgot the arms that I''d raised to protect me and they fell limp over my legs. I stop breathing as I saw the one in white slowly sliding over the dark one until he hit the ground, his golden hair spread over the cold, hard stone. I knew his face immediately, now deadly pale, and my heart stopped, a sharp pain piercing my chest. His clothes were soaked in blood. And he wasn''t breathing!


    I covered my eyes with my hands, unable to think. No. That couldn''t be happening!


    I saw as the dark shadow raised his head, his violet eyes hard and cold as stones, and I screamed, although I hadn''t enough air or voice to do it.


    "Mariane!"


    I heard my own voice screaming and sat up, gasping for air, urgently pushing away the hands that held me. I pulled my knees up, looking around half dazed, and saw him, kneeling right in front of me. For a moment I could hardly believe it. He looked worried, but kept still, probably fearing he''d frighten me even more.


    "Michael?" I whispered, still doubting. I''d just seen him die right in front of my eyes. He smiled, looking relieved.


    "It was just a nightmare," he assured me and I looked around once more, still half lost. No, that wasn''t my room. And then I recalled the day before. I was in Michael''s house. And that''s why he was there and alive.


    I took a trembling hand to my face and took a deep breath. Only a dream, just a dream, I told myself, but I couldn''t stop shaking. Too real, I thought. So real that the pain still remained, the anguish still remained, the fear still remained ... and that roar still made my eardrums ring.


    "Mari," his warm voice cut off the descending spiral of my thoughts and I raised my head to look at him.


    Michael slightly pulled back his blanket and I hesitated for the one second that took my muddled mind to understand what he meant. Too nervous and scared to conveniently ponder, I fell to the floor and crawled under his blanket.


    He covered me gently and put an arm over my shoulders, pulling me close. I leaned my forehead against his chest, feeling the slow and calm beating of his heart. He was alive! I could feel it in that constant beating, in each breath he took, in the warmth that surrounded me. It had all been a dream.


    "Everything''s fine, sleep," I heard his soft whisper and allowed my eyes to close.


    I could feel his warm hand slowly caressing my hair, the smell of his skin so close to mine. And, although we lay side by side, I couldn''t feel the slightest embarrassment. My heart didn''t jump as it usually did when he was close to me. My face didn''t blush. All I could feel was that soft warmth that enveloped me, making me feel safe and at peace.

 Chapter 8

    Chapter 8


    TOR


    ¨C The Kerubim of Earth and Air


    - Minor officers in the Initiation to 8x = 3{square x}.


    The Vision of the Interplay And Identity of Earth and Air.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°The dream I walk in is clear and filled with light.


    In it I am Star, and my cold fire loves your blazing one. The world is perfect.


    But, if dreaming raises me above the clouds, waking up is an inevitable and abysmal fall.


    And I can¡¯t help ask... why dream if all that¡¯s left are the bitter ashes of a reality that can never be?¡±


    I woke up with the feeling I hadn¡¯t slept like that in a long time. Stretching my arms I looked around, remembering I wasn¡¯t at home. I was still on the floor, I noticed, and immediately remembered last night¡¯s embarrassment.


    Just like a child, I scolded myself as I stood up, and the smell of fresh toast made my stomach grumble.


    Opening the curtains I blinked, blinded for a moment. All that light! What time was it?


    I ran to the kitchen, bare-feet against the old wooden floor, and stopped by the door.


    ¡°What time is it?¡± I asked urgently and Michael turned to look at me, smiling gently.


    ¡°Good morning to you too,¡± he replied, reminding me I¡¯d just failed at one of the most basic rules of etiquette, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling ashamed first thing in the morning.


    ¡°Morning,¡± I replied, my urgency washing away before his bewildering calm, and he smiled again looking pleased with my answer.


    ¡°It¡¯s almost noon.¡±


    ¡°Noon? What about school?¡±


    He laughed, taking the toasts out of the toaster and placing the slices on a plate. ¡°It would seem we¡¯ve missed it.¡±


    ¡°But Michael!¡±


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine. I called first thing in the morning to let them know you weren¡¯t feeling too well and that I had a medical appointment.¡±


    ¡°You called!¡± I was stunned, but he simply opened the cupboard and took out two jars of jam.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I made two different calls, at different times,¡± he calmly explained. ¡°If it¡¯d been one single call there would be strange colorful rumors all throughout school when we came back.¡± My thoughts exactly, I thought with a sigh of relief. ¡°Not that I mind what others think. But I¡¯m well aware of the number of eyes following me around everywhere I go. Don¡¯t want to make your life even harder.¡± I smiled in pure bliss. He was too good to be true. ¡°Help carry this stuff?¡± I woke up from my temporary state of bewilderment and rushed to help him.


    When we finished setting the table, a simple breakfast turned out to be quite a feast, reminding me of the breakfast Rachel had prepared to impress Gabriel. We sat down and I found out I was truly famished. Even so, I controlled my appetite, recalling the house¡¯s rules and, as expected, Michael put his hands together over the empty plate for a moment of silence. After his prayer he looked up at me and smiled, offering me the pan with scrambled eggs.


    ¡°Slept well?¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you. And I¡¯m sorry for waking you up.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I wasn¡¯t asleep. I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t wake you up in time for school. But you were sleeping so well. I thought you needed the rest.¡± I smiled, stealing a piece of toast, and bit it voraciously.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s just that, I guess I never missed school before,¡± I noted, mentally revising my academic records.


    He laughed and filled my glass with orange juice, adding in a rebellious tone, ¡°Oh, well, then this is a good experience for you.¡±


    ¡°You mean you cut class?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes ... sometimes I just want a little bit of peace and quiet for a change,¡± he admitted and it was my turn to laugh.


    ¡°Really? I mean, what kind of alien are you? Cutting class to be left alone instead of playing around! For an instant I almost believed you were one of those bad boy types.¡±


    He opened his beautiful green eyes wide and released an ¡®Ah!¡¯ of disbelief. ¡°Don¡¯t know what shocks me the most! If you thinking I¡¯m some goody-goody choir boy or finding out you¡¯re not that shy after all!¡±


    I covered my mouth, suddenly aware of what I¡¯d just unthinkingly said, and my cheeks caught up on fire. He laughed, amused by my reaction, and once more I couldn¡¯t help feel happy for being the reason behind that amazing sound.


    ¡°I know, I rarely speak my mind,¡± I admitted. ¡°Maybe that¡¯s why I¡¯m not used to censoring my thoughts. I didn¡¯t mean it like that.¡±


    He rested his head on one hand, watching me disturbingly. ¡°No. I¡¯m glad you said it. I like knowing what you¡¯re thinking. And I¡¯m even happier to know you feel at ease near me, enough to say it.¡± I just stuffed my mouth with bread and jam and he smiled, noticing my escape strategy. ¡°Mari, how about it? Since we¡¯re already cutting class anyway, why not just go somewhere?¡±


    Momentarily stunned, I hurriedly swallowed my bread and almost chocked. Was he asking me out like ¡­ on a date?


    ¡°Go somewhere?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Why not? We could take a walk in Hyde Park, feed the squirrels,¡± he suggested and I¡¯m sure my expression came alight. He was asking me out! ¡°It¡¯s as you said. If we¡¯re cutting class, we might as well do something fun.¡± He gave me a mischievous expression and I had to give my full attention to the scrambled eggs coloring my plate to hide my excitement. If my life seemed to be enveloped in an ever-growing chaos, it was also true I¡¯d never been happier in my life.


    ¡°Yeah. Why not?¡± I simply agreed and went back to my toast.


    After finishing breakfast I went to the bathroom to get dressed. In despair I was faced with the sorry figure that, unknowingly, I¡¯d made all through breakfast, my hair standing everywhere, making me look like a crazy witch. After finally managing to acceptably tie it up, I went back to the living room where Michael awaited me.


    Outside the day was cold, but here and there we could see openings of blue sky and, occasionally, a few rays of sun.


    We walked to the bus station and waited for the ¡®108.¡¯ On the bus we sat side by side, and I locked my gaze outside, feeling a bit awkward to be sitting so close to him. Suddenly, and without warning, Michael held my hand, startling me, and I looked at him surprised. His fingers traced the blue ribbon around my wrist and his inquisitive look told me that was what had caught his attention.


    ¡°This ribbon, you never take it off?¡± he asked and I noticed the velvet was becoming seedy, which meant I had to change it soon.


    ¡°Um, I guess I like it,¡± I answered, avoiding pulling my hand away from him, which would look even stranger, and he ended up holding it, making me blush. Had he used the ribbon just as an excuse? My heart jumped at the thought. No, I couldn¡¯t allow my thoughts to wander that way! Last time I¡¯d allowed it, he¡¯d ended up not even remembering my name the following day. Besides, although I wished his feelings would turn towards me, I still wasn¡¯t ready to face the consequences. I might as well stop filling my head with dreams and fantasies.


    The subway travel was even longer and we talked very little. Even so, Michael¡¯s hand never left mine, as he gently pulled me in and out of metro cars. It was past three o¡¯clock when we finally arrived at Hyde Park Corner.


    The sun touched my face and I smiled as I felt its soft warmth.


    ¡°Ah, missed these sunny days,¡± I sighed without thinking and looked up at him, hoping he hadn¡¯t heard me, but Michael was watching me attentively. ¡°What?¡± I asked, defensively.


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°What, nothing?¡± I insisted as we slowly walked, allowing me to accompany him with ease.


    ¡°Nothing, really. I was just thinking you looked very beautiful.¡±


    ¡°You know, sometimes this seems really unfair,¡± I complained in a low voice and he looked intrigued. ¡°Me, being here, with you.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because ... because I¡¯ve been watching you for so long,¡± I confessed, staring at the path before us. And then I was suddenly aware of the many possible meanings of what I¡¯d just said, which led me to quickly clarify it. ¡°I mean, I guess I felt curious about you, just like everyone else.¡± I smiled awkwardly. ¡°Maybe not curious about your past. But every time I saw you outside with Steven and the others, I couldn¡¯t help wonder what you were thinking or feeling. Because you¡¯re always smiling, and your smile is so bright. And I always thought that, in this world, there was no way anyone could smile like that, every single day. I mean, this world isn¡¯t all that nice, right?¡±


    Michael took a deep breath. ¡°Because everyone¡¯s always worrying about me.¡± He surprised me. I hadn¡¯t expected an answer. ¡°Because all I recall are worried expressions and people feeling sorry for me. I¡¯m happy when everyone around me is happy. It¡¯s like a chain reaction. If I smile people around me won¡¯t worry so much and are happy that I look all right. Watching them play, laugh, talk, makes me happy, and I don¡¯t have to fake smiles anymore. Then, real smiles make others even happier, and so on.¡±


    ¡°Even so. That¡¯s only then, right? But once the moment is gone, the reasons to feel happy will also disappear. I wondered if you always smiled like that, even when you¡¯re alone.¡± Michael looked away and I felt a heavy weight on my chest. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to talk about unpleasant things.¡±Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s true,¡± he asserted. ¡°I guess that, in that, I¡¯m just like everybody else, right?¡± I nodded, wanting to put that subject behind my back and he gave me another of my recently discovered mischievous smiles. ¡°And then? Is that the reason why you were spying on me?¡±


    ¡°Spy ... ing? No!¡± I answered, panicking, and he laughed. ¡°No! I mean, yes. But just a little, during lunch break. It¡¯s not like I followed you everywhere you go or anything!¡± I tried to explain, but he wouldn¡¯t stop laughing. ¡°Besides, you never even noticed me, not even once,¡± I added and his laughter faded away.


    ¡°Mari, I normally don¡¯t pay all that much attention to the world around me. I ...¡±


    ¡°Oh, I know,¡± I interrupted him not wanting him to feel guilty since he had nothing to feel guilty about. ¡°I¡¯ve already understood that escape mechanism of yours. I¡¯m not complaining. It¡¯s just that it¡¯s ironic. It was something I chose to do, watching you from afar. But now that we¡¯re here, together, I can¡¯t help asking myself why couldn¡¯t I¡¯ve just been brave enough to talk to you sooner. Why was I such an idiot and just sat there, day after day, looking at you from afar. If I¡¯d had the courage to talk with you sooner ...¡± I stopped myself, even though I knew he was hanging on my every single word.


    If I¡¯d just talked with him sooner instead of being such a coward, I wouldn¡¯t be in this situation. After all, it was such a simple and normal thing, right? Something people could easily do ¡ª talk to the person they like. Why only I had to be shy to the point of stupidity?


    I noticed an old woman with a vending cart and took that chance to change the subject.


    ¡°Look. Food for our little friends,¡± I pointed out and, with some regret, let go of his hand, running towards the vending cart.


    As things stood, I couldn¡¯t allow that date to become more than a simple meeting between two friends. It made me feel really depressed, but still I smiled when he reached me a few moments later. I¡¯d finally been able to go out with the guy I liked since the beginning of the year and it had to be me to put a break on things.


    We fed the squirrels that unceremoniously climbed on Michael¡¯s hands, making those who passed us smile in admiration. Then we sat on the grass, under a tree, and talked about trivial and common things. I told him a lot about by childhood and about my parents. Michael seemed particularly interested in my family history and I painfully understood the light that touched his eyes every time I told him about a Christmas night or a birthday party. Those were all memories he didn¡¯t have.


    Michael told me about how Father Jorge helped him during his recovery, at the hospital, and how he¡¯d became his guardian after endless searches had turned out nothing.


    ¡°It¡¯s like if, somehow, I didn¡¯t exist before the accident,¡± he told me following the path of a cloud. ¡°There¡¯s nothing left of who I was. Now I¡¯m someone entirely new. But either way, it¡¯s fine. I don¡¯t care about any of that anymore. All I want is for things to stay as they are. I hope the past that I so looked for never catches up with me. I like my life here, now,¡± he added, his voice almost a whisper, and he raised a hand to touch my face. His fingers softly caressed my cheek, and I forgot how to breathe when he leaned over me. In panic and in complete ecstasy, I knew what was about to happen. He was going to kiss me! And I couldn¡¯t allow it. I commanded my mind to be stronger than my heart and clenched my teeth hard, strengthening my decision.


    However, without quite understanding what had happened, Michael suddenly pulled back, his hand quickly releasing me as if he¡¯d been burned, and I noticed his pained expression as he clenched his chest. Frightened, not knowing what to do, I held him by his shoulders when he bent forward, gasping for air.


    ¡°Michael! What¡¯s wrong? Are you okay? Are you in pain?¡± I asked in one breath, trying to keep him straight, and he smiled weakly.


    ¡°It¡¯s ... nothing,¡± he answered between heavy breaths as he seemed to slowly recover, but still I wasn¡¯t convinced.


    ¡°How come it¡¯s nothing? We better get you to a doctor!¡± I decided and he straightened his back to take a deep breath, even though he was still clutching his sweater over his chest.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Don¡¯t worry. See? I¡¯m fine,¡± he assured me with a new smile and I made a face. ¡°Besides, I hate doctors and hospitals.¡±


    I watched him apprehensively. True, he looked better. But still, he¡¯d felt a chest pain, right? And that was usually dangerous.


    ¡°You sure?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely!¡± he reaffirmed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I scared you,¡± he answered in that soft tone I was unable to resist, and I took a deep breath, completely defeated. ¡°Are you hungry? Let¡¯s go get something to eat.¡±


    I chose ice cream for our early dinner, which would perfectly agree with our late breakfast, and rejoiced in the feeling of, once more, having shocked him with my suggestion. We ended up sitting in an ice cream shop where I chose the biggest bowl there was; one with four flavors, fruits, little pieces of cookies and nuts dipped in honey. When my enormous order arrived, Michael looked even more surprised by its impressive size.


    ¡°Are you really going to eat all of that?¡± he asked in disbelief and I nodded full of conviction.


    ¡°I eat a lot.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I see,¡± he muttered, still looking at my bowl at least twice the size of his. ¡°And to think you¡¯re so little.¡± He was clearly teasing me and I filled my mouth with ice cream.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly why I eat a lot. To see if I can grow a little sideways, since up is rather improbable at this stage. Want a bite?¡± I offered and he picked his spoon, stealing a bit of pink and green ice cream.


    ¡°Really don¡¯t see why you have to worry about that. Not bad. Here. Try mine.¡±


    I didn¡¯t hesitate to take my revenge on his ice cream.


    ¡°You can¡¯t see it ''cause you¡¯re a guy. Tastes good, but I like my pistachio better.¡±


    ¡°What difference does it make if I¡¯m a guy or a girl? Aesthetics are aesthetics,¡± he insisted. ¡°And as far as I¡¯m concerned, you¡¯re fine the way you are. Besides, don¡¯t you feel guilty wishing the opposite of all the other girls? I mean, most girls want to be slim and you want to gain weight?¡± He was clearly amused.


    ¡°Enough of this!¡± I grumbled. What girl could easily discuss such embarrassing things, like diets, with the guy she liked? When I noticed it, he¡¯d already stolen another spoon from my ice cream. ¡°Hey!¡± I protested but was completely ignored.


    ¡°I like the lemon one.¡±


    ¡°Stealing is bad!¡± I scolded him and he bit his spoon.


    ¡°Someone needs to help you eat all that. It will end up melting.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, but no thanks!¡± I retorted and devoted myself to eating my ice cream before he could use that excuse to rob me again.


    When we finished with our ice creams it was already getting dark outside, and the thought that our day together was almost over made me feel depressed. Soon we¡¯d have to go our separate ways and I''d have to return home and face the reality of my chaotic life.


    As if he¡¯d read my thoughts, Michael took me to a bookshop. We spent more than two hours surrounded by titles and synopses, and ended up buying one book each, promising to exchange them as soon as we¡¯ve read them.


    It was nearly eight o¡¯clock when we went down to the subway and time began counting down.


    In my selfishness I held his hand once more, looking for the comfort of his touch, aware that I¡¯d been avoiding him all afternoon. He seemed like he didn¡¯t even notice it, gently squeezing my hand back.


    ¡°Mari, won¡¯t you spend tonight with us again?¡± he asked me softly and all I wanted was to say yes. One more night surrounded by peace and quiet, safe in his embrace. One more night near Michael, near the one my heart had chosen. How could I not want it?


    I lowered my head and took a deep breath. I¡¯d already decided to stop running from my problems. What was the use? He¡¯d remain there, waiting for me, and the symbol of our Contract would still be marked on my skin. Besides, I could feel Michael¡¯s emotions wavering, even though he probably hadn''t noticed himself, like Steph had guessed. I didn¡¯t want to ¡­ I couldn¡¯t lead him on, not yet, not before preparing myself for what would inevitably follow.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I answered and the tight knot around my throat force me to smile so I¡¯d be able to deceive him. ¡°But I really have to go back. There are things I have to take care of, and I have Lea to feed. Besides, all my school things are there. I can¡¯t just spend another night out.¡± His hand squeezed mine again.


    ¡°We could stop by your house, you can get what you need, and come with me,¡± he suggested and I knew my arguments hadn¡¯t been strong enough to convince him.


    ¡°Really, Michael. Everything¡¯s fine. What happened before, I was just being stupid. I¡¯d just had a nightmare and then ... Gabriel looked so angry, and the way he spoke to me, I got scared. I guess I can be too childish sometimes. That¡¯s all.¡± He looked like he hadn¡¯t believed a single word I¡¯d said. ¡°It¡¯s my home. It¡¯s not like I can move indefinitely to yours,¡± I added forcing myself to laugh.


    ¡°No, really?¡± he asked me with such a serious expression that my smile withered away immediately. He wasn¡¯t joking.


    ¡°No,¡± I answered, trying to sound as serious as he¡¯d sound, and he sighed.


    ¡°Fine, then. But this time I¡¯m taking you home,¡± he decided so vehemently that I didn¡¯t try to dissuade him. ¡°And you¡¯re keeping my number. If anything happens, if you need anything, you call me immediately. Agreed?¡± I nodded obediently, smiling even though he looked unusually serious. I definitely didn¡¯t want to be one more weight in his life. ¡°Promise me!


    ¡°I promise,¡± I replied and he seemed content.


    We spent the rest of the ride mostly in silence, but the absence of words between us wasn¡¯t awkward at all. I only noticed how close we were to my home when we passed the school¡¯s bus stop. We got off on the next stop and walked hand in hand across the dark and, at that hour, almost deserted streets. Our footsteps were the only sounds we could hear and I couldn¡¯t help feel sad when we finally turned to my street.


    We stopped in front of my door and I smiled awkwardly, trying not to face him.


    ¡°This is it,¡± I stated and he looked at the building behind me for a moment.


    ¡°It¡¯s close. I could probably walk from my house here.¡±


    ¡°I walk to school every day. But your house is a bit farther.¡±


    ¡°True,¡± he agreed and we were left in silence. Although I knew I had to say goodbye, I couldn¡¯t quite figure out how to do it. My hand was still in his and I decided to start from there.


    ¡°Well, I better get going,¡± I said, pulling my hand away, and he released me reluctantly.


    ¡°Mari. You¡¯re sure?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ll be fine. See you tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Sure. The goody-goody me can¡¯t cut classes two days in a row,¡± he said, joking, and I laughed while looking for my key.


    ¡°Till tomorrow, then. And thanks for everything. It was really fun.¡± We stood there in another awkward moment until I decided the best thing to do was to go inside as quickly as possible, before I regretted my decision and accept his tempting invitation.


    However, as soon as I turned my back on him he held my arm, his hand surrounding it completely, and pulled me back against his chest. My heart jumped as a wave of heat flooded my body, leaving my mind completely blank. I felt him take a deep breath, his chest slowly rising, and tried to make sense of what had just happened.


    ¡°Thank you ... for everything,¡± he whispered softly and my cheeks caught on fire. I was the one who should be thankful! His lips touched the top of my head in a gentle kiss that warmed my entire body, and his arms released me so that my puzzled look could see his wonderful smile. ¡°See you tomorrow.¡±


    I nodded, still half stunned, and when his hands released me, I turned towards my front door, unsure if I still knew how to walk. I missed the keyhole twice before I could open it, and turned back to look at him one last time. He smiled, waving, his golden hair shining palely under the street lamp¡¯s light, and I went in, closing the door behind me. I stood there for a moment, unsure if I was really myself, if that was really my body, or if that was really my life, and took a hand to my head to where he¡¯d kissed me and where I could still feel his warm touch.


    I looked around. I was home. And that thought immediately dragged me away from my golden dream.


    And Gabriel? Was he home as well?


    I silently walked towards the living room and took a peek inside. No one. I went on towards the kitchen. Everything remained as I¡¯d left it. It almost seemed like no one had lived there since last Tuesday.


    I took a deep breath and went up to my room, looking for Lea. I called him and looked for him in every room, but the small kitten had also disappeared. I was completely alone.


    I dropped my things and the book I¡¯d bought on the desk and fell on my bed.


    Coldly reviewing what had happened, I couldn¡¯t deny that I¡¯d done everything humanly possible to boycott our Contract. Not that my feelings had changed, but how could I think, much less accept, having to fulfill my part? My wish might as well never come true! But, on the other hand, that would mean that Gabriel would never leave. Would he end up giving up? How could I expect to live my life if he were to always stay beside me?


    I hid my face between my hands and took a deep breath trying not to despair. I couldn¡¯t start worrying about things so far in the future. It was useless! For all I knew, he could change his mind tomorrow and decide to kill me instead. If he did so, he¡¯d get rid of that Contract and could look for another Human to torment. He¡¯d told me I was special, but surely I wasn¡¯t the only special person in the entire world. Not to mention that I was yet to understand what could possibly be so special about me.


    So all I could do was focus my mind on tomorrow, one day at a time. And, as far as tomorrow was concerned, I had to keep my distance from Michael, no matter how much my heart was opposed to it. I decided I wouldn¡¯t look for him during lunch break.


    I felt my throat tighten and thought I¡¯d end up crying, but the tears never came. Sadly, I recalled Michael¡¯s words. The ¡®see you tomorrow¡¯ we¡¯d exchanged would never happen. Not tomorrow, nor the day after. Friday and Monday were holidays, which meant five days without Michael. I felt as if there wasn¡¯t enough air to breathe and my heart assured me that I couldn¡¯t possibly survive. Stubbornly, I paid it no attention and commanded my mind to hurry up and fall asleep.

 Chapter 9 - Part 1

    Part 1


    I woke up the same way I¡¯d fallen asleep - alone in an empty house.


    Half afraid, I went once more over the entire house, but there was no one else. I worried about Lea, if he¡¯d run away in search of food. If Gabriel wasn¡¯t coming home, maybe the kitten had gotten hungry and escaped in search of someone to feed him. I felt sad at the thought he might never come back. Lea had become my only company and, in a way, my only confidant. After all, who could I pour out my sorrows to when my head was filled with demoniac problems?


    On the other hand, the fact that Gabriel wasn¡¯t home made me feel relieved. I still didn¡¯t know how to face him. Out of all that had happened, his reaction had been the only thing I still couldn¡¯t understand.


    I recalled one of our brief conversations and took a deep breath. Even if I¡¯d managed to gather enough courage to talk to him it would almost surely be in vain. His rules about questions dictated that answers were only needed when the outcome could be changed. Which meant that if there was nothing I could do about it, he wouldn¡¯t dignify me with an explanation. And it was obvious there was nothing I could do to avoid his anger.


    I got dressed as fast as I could and swallowed a yogurt before leaving for school. He wasn¡¯t home, but that didn¡¯t mean he couldn¡¯t simply show up, literally out of nowhere. If that were to happen I wanted to be as far away as possible. Somewhere in my mind a little voice kept insisting that it would be safer to face him surrounded by other Human Beings.


    I arrived at school fifteen minutes earlier and the classroom was still empty. I looked at my chair and squeezed my hands together, trying to determine what would be worse ¡ª being at my desk when he arrived or arriving after him. I chose the last. At least if I got in the room after him we¡¯d have four rows of chairs and desks between us. I ran back to the corridor and hid in the only place I felt safe - the girls¡¯ bathroom.


    I anxiously waited for the first bell and, when I returned to the world of the living, the school was packed with people.


    I couldn¡¯t help feeling nervous as I walked towards the classroom again and, before going in, took a peek inside. And there he was, in the back of the room, but he wasn¡¯t alone. Which would be rather normal, since there were always people around his desk. But this time I couldn¡¯t help feel surprised and worried about the company he kept. Steph was standing next to him and, by her expression, it looked like a serious talk.


    I walked to my place, unable to avert my gaze. He looked calm, his face cold and expressionless like stone, although he was clearly paying attention to what she was saying. Steph seemed worked up. It was rare seeing her at school so early in the morning, but even more unusual to see that grave expression on her face.


    I pulled my chair, still watching them, and someone sighed right next to me.


    ¡°You¡¯ve noticed it too, hmm?¡± I looked up and gave her a smile.


    ¡°Morning. What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked and Joanne sighed again.


    ¡°Don¡¯t know, but nothing good, that¡¯s for sure,¡± she answered and I couldn¡¯t push away the bad feeling that swept over me. What had happened?


    ¡°Did they get into fight?¡± I asked, half afraid, even though I knew better. Him getting angry would most certainly mean the end of someone¡¯s life. I¡¯d learned that all too well, last Tuesday, when Steven had almost died.


    ¡°Don¡¯t know. All I know is that Tuesday, after school, we were all worrying about you, since you disappeared and didn¡¯t come to class. He came to us and told us you weren¡¯t feeling well, and that you¡¯d gone home earlier. He assured us it wasn¡¯t anything serious and we went our ways. We were near the bus stop when Steph remembered she still had your things and decided to come back, to hand them to your cousin. And yesterday, well, you missed class, but so did she ... and him. I thought you had gotten worse or something, and that Gabriel had to stay home to look after you, but when I called no one picked up. The same happened when I tried to call Steph. And today they were already downstairs, talking, when I arrived. They came up together and it¡¯s been like that,¡± she concluded with a hint of irony and I peered back towards them. Now he was speaking and Steph listening with a hard, contained expression.


    ¡°I ...¡± I tried to come up with an excuse, but Joanne raised her hand, turning towards the board, clearly angry.


    ¡°Please! Don¡¯t even try,¡± she cut me off dryly. ¡°You may as well answer as she did. That it is none of my business!¡±


    I gaped in shock. I could hardly believe Steph had told her something like that.


    The teacher came in a little before the second bell and Steph returned to her seat, beside mine. I watched her for a moment trying to figure out what to say, and decided to act like nothing had happened.


    ¡°Morning,¡± I greeted her with my best smile, but her answer was short and dry.


    ¡°Morning.¡± She didn¡¯t even turn to look at me.


    ¡°Steph, is everything okay?¡± I asked, fearing her answer, and she took out her notebook, placing it on the desk.


    ¡°Fine. And you? Feeling better?¡± she asked me in the same tone, turning the pages, and my heart sank. Something had happened, something very serious.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied, knowing she didn¡¯t care either way.


    It was the quietest English class I¡¯d ever attended. Joanne was obviously hurt, to the point that she was now pretending Stephanie didn¡¯t exist. And, even though I didn¡¯t see a reason why, Steph seemed to be mad at me, her answers to my everyday questions all hard and dry. Worrying about her, I couldn¡¯t help notice that she talked like that to everyone, classmates and teachers alike. And, when the bell sounded once again, she stood up and went back to Gabriel¡¯s desk, as if their talk had been cut off.


    I felt as if my brain was about to melt. First Michael, and now this!


    After that, during English Literature there was no chance for talks, and so I spent my two hours in class trying to figure out what could have happened. She¡¯d missed school on Wednesday, like me, like him. So it had to be him, I decided. He¡¯d done something to her and I needed to find out what!


    When class was over I had already made up my mind and readied my Soul for the shock that would come from having to walk up to him and request a conversation. Joanne quickly gathered her stuff and stormed out of the room, avoiding having to look either one of us in the face. Steph took her time, looking surprisingly calm, and then went to his desk. I followed her with my gaze and was surprised to see that he was waiting for her. I hugged my books tighter and followed her steps, shortening the distance between us. Still, I couldn¡¯t help hesitating when he raised his gaze to look at me. But there was nothing left from the furious anger that had burned in his eyes two days ago. Just to be sure, I kept a safe distance and swallowed dry before speaking, making sure my voice wouldn¡¯t falter.


    ¡°I ... need to have a word with you,¡± I stated, but it wasn¡¯t him who answered.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I turned my gaze towards Steph and she took a step to stand beside him, locking her arm with his. ¡°But Gabriel and I have plans,¡± she stated with an unmistakable superior tone and I felt once more as if I¡¯d just crossed some mysterious portal to another dimension. I looked at him in disbelief, but he remained calm and indifferent. ¡°Excuse us,¡± Steph said again, pulling him by the arm, and he followed her, keeping up with her pace without looking back even once.


    I stood there, unable to react, confused. What was going on? How was this possible? I¡¯d missed school for one day and the whole world had changed without me even noticing it! I realized I was alone, as I¡¯d been last night at home, and the feeling of loss that came over me caught me by surprise.


    Raising my head I took a deep breath. I couldn¡¯t allow myself to be defeated by my own feelings. I had to remain calm to think clearly. Above all, I had to talk with him and make him tell me what had happened. But, right there and then, I had to go home!


    I left the classroom as fast as my feet would allow me, fearing that Michael might be looking for me. It took all of my strength not to give into temptation and go to him, even if only to look at him from afar as I usually did. My heart kept insisting that leaving without seeing him at least once was the worst mistake of my life; that if I went to him all that mess would become miraculously less complicated, since near him all dark shadows lost their strength. However, I forced myself to keep my own decision and, ignoring my pained heart, went back home.


    I closed the door knowing he wouldn¡¯t be in. I was alone and suddenly the house seemed bigger and somehow scarier. I felt small and insignificant, and wished I could call Paris just to hear my mom¡¯s voice. But I could hardly justify my sudden phone call and so I chose to go up to my room instead.


    Remain calm, I reminded myself. Think coldly about all that had happened.


    The way Steph had talked, her posture and the way she¡¯d grabbed his arm, it looked almost as if he belonged to her. But how could that be? She had Mark, right? And he, he¡¯d what? Was going out with her? Why? What for? To torture me? Maybe he''d noticed I¡¯d decided to keep my distance from Michael. Maybe this was his way of showing me all I had to lose from trying to the delay the fulfillment of our Contract. Was that it? And what if she¡¯d somehow found out the truth? Last Tuesday he¡¯d almost killed someone. I¡¯d never seen him so upset. Maybe he¡¯d done something weird and she had seen him. Was that what they¡¯d secretly spent the day talking about?


    Either way, one thing was certain, he was both the reason and the solution for that problem. Besides it looked like trying to talk with Steph about it wasn¡¯t going to be of much use. If she already knew what he was, it was obvious she had decided to accept it. If she didn¡¯t, I had no way to try and convince her to keep her distance from him.


    I took a deep breath, feeling a bit better. Still, all that musing had stolen my appetite, which was as good, since it meant I didn¡¯t have to think about what to cook for lunch. I chose to take a bath instead, hoping the hot water would grant me some measure of mental peacefulness, silencing, even if only for a few minutes, the torrent of thought that burned in my brain.


    I sat on the edge of the bathtub and closed the drain, opening the tap. It had been a long time since I¡¯d allowed myself the luxury of soaking in a tub filled with hot water.


    When the tub was finally filled, with steam swirling all around, I took off my clothes and got in slowly, allowing my skin to get use to the heat. It took me a few minutes to be able to dive my head under water, and I was finally able to relax, surrounded by that soft warmth that almost allowed me to forget that that body actually belonged to me. I felt even better when the water spread through my hair, filling my ears as if I¡¯d just stepped into another world, silence surrounding me, all other sounds indistinct and distant. I came back to the surface when my lungs started complaining from lack of air and took a deep breath. I kept as quiet as possible, trying to erase all other noises and centered my attention on the heat around me, allowing my body to slightly float.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    The sound of a small bell echoed through the bathroom, startling me, but I immediately identified it as belonging to Lea. I tried to sit up to look at the floor, hoping to see him, glad that he¡¯d returned, but my body didn¡¯t obey me, remaining stiff and motionless.


    My heart jumped in panic, my eyes darting in every direction, terrified by what little I could see. I tried as hard as I could to move my arms, but it was useless. I wanted to call for help, but by then my thoughts had begun to fragment incoherently, and the small bell rang once again, this time much closer to me. My gagging breath echoed all around me and I desperately tried to see what was happening, which was very little since I couldn¡¯t move my head. Suddenly a big, hard hand landed on my head and pushed me down, and all I could do was take a sharp breath before going underwater.


    Once more surrounded by silence, all I could hear was the crazed beating of my heart, drumming in my ears. I commanded my hands to obey me and push me back to the surface, but it was no use. Unable to close my eyes, I saw a distorted face peering down at me from the surface, his hand keeping my head glued to the bottom of the tub. It didn¡¯t take long for my chest to start burning painfully, big bubbles of air escaping my lips. Hot water filled my mouth and nose, invading my respiratory track, and pain tore at me from inside. Terrified, I was sure I was about to die, my body still refusing to obey even though my life depended on it. And all I could think about was how much I regretted the pain my death was sure to bring my mom, when she heard the terrible news that I¡¯d drowned in my own bathroom.


    My vision darkened, the pain now excruciating, and then something ice-cold reached inside the hot water and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. Before I could even realize that I could move again, my hands regained their freedom and desperately fought to keep me at the surface. The air filled my lungs, hurting me and making me cough. I threw up water, gagging and fighting to breathe at the same time, as I tried to escape as fast as I could from that assassin liquid. My panicky hands reached out and grabbed the first thing they touched, pulling it in an absurd attempt to help me get up. The curtain tore and the rod fell, making me slip backwards, my feet sliding against the bottom of the tub and, once more, I was pulled back to the surface. I opened my eyes, fighting for each breath, my drenched hair covering my mouth and nose, suffocating me, and my terror reached its peak when I saw him, right there, unexpectedly too close to me. His hand was still around my arm, his strength hurting me and, without a thought, I hit him as hard as I could.


    The striking sound of my hand against his face broke the wave of panic that had come over me, and I stared at him, unable to move. Gabriel slowly released my arm and took a hand to his cheek, looking shocked. Once more I forgot to breath and my body shook uncontrollably. He stared at me, still in disbelief, and I slid backwards, gluing my back against the wall and pulling the fallen curtain over me, as if that thin plastic sheet could somehow protect me. His dark gaze became severe, then furious, and I knew that, although I¡¯d been saved from drowning, nothing could save me from his anger. I had nowhere to run! This was the end. I closed my eyes hard, cringing from the pain that would surely follow, but nothing happened.


    The screeching sound coming from downstairs startled me and I looked for him, but he was gone. I pulled my trembling knees up holding them against my chest. Screams echoed through the entire house, Human screams, and I pressed my hands against my ears. I didn¡¯t want to hear! I didn¡¯t want to know! I couldn¡¯t think of anything except how much I wished I could disappear to somewhere where he could never reach me.


    Finally, everything was silent again, but still I couldn¡¯t move. The sound of the water droplets falling from my wet hair over the water surface was the only sound I could hear, and I sat there for what seemed like an eternity.


    A sneeze itched at my nose and its sound cut off the silence that surrounded me. The water had cooled down and I was starting to feel cold.


    I raised my head in fear and looked around. He hadn¡¯t returned. I carefully got up, bracing myself against the wall, and pulled a towel, wrapping it around my cold body, as I tried to put my thoughts in order. I took a deep breath, my lungs still hurting, and told myself I had to get out of that water. Even so, I hesitated as I faced the door, fearing what awaited me on the other side, and finally ended up opening it. Outside everything was silent, and so I ran to my room, closing the door behind me. I took a hand to my chest, trying to quiet my terrified heart, and took a deep breath, my throat burning. Calm down ... everything¡¯s fine ... everything¡¯s fine ... let¡¯s just get dressed, I repeated to myself, firmly commanding my every single move as if I were someone else taking care of me. And it actually worked, until I looked for my hairbrush and didn¡¯t find it. The bathroom! My heart jumped to another crazed run, my lungs resenting it as my breath became ragged. I didn¡¯t want to have to go back to the bathroom! Which was ridiculous, to say the least. Just calm down! I scolded myself. It¡¯s over, he¡¯s gone. Besides, we won¡¯t be able to avoid going to the bathroom forever, right? There¡¯s nothing to fear. We¡¯re just going to fetch my brush. I kept my fear under control and went to the door.


    I opened it slowly, peering down the corridor. No one. Silence. I practically ran to the bathroom, but then stopped. My gaze went to the stairs. What had happened downstairs? I swallowed hard and went back to counting inspirations. I couldn¡¯t avoid going downstairs as much as I couldn¡¯t avoid the bathroom.


    I held on to the handrail and went down the stairs, my legs shaking at every step. I stopped as I reached the base, my sweaty hands refusing to let go of the handrail, locking me in place. Everything¡¯s fine. This is my home! There¡¯s nothing to fear, I repeated and managed to release the titanic force with which my fingers gripped the polished wood.


    I recalled hearing screams and my mind alerted me that I was probably about to find someone, or something dead in my living room. I readied myself for what awaited me and peered inside.


    The first thing I did was make sure he really wasn¡¯t there and, against my bleakest expectations, the room looked thankfully empty.


    Suddenly, my gaze fell upon a small bundle, much smaller than a Human Being, and my heart jumped as I understood what I was seeing. I rushed towards him, completely forgetting my fears, and stopped a step away from him, covering my mouth with my hands to stifle a scream of horror. Lying in a growing pool of blood was the little kitten.


    My eyes stung and I ordered myself to react. What to do? I urgently tried to decide, but my gaze was caught by the small, golden bell pending from his collar and a cold fear landed on my stomach, making me take a step back. That had been the sound I¡¯d heard moments before I had been rendered unable to move, right before someone had tried to drown me! Before I wouldn¡¯t have even considered the crazy idea that now crossed my mind. But after all that I¡¯d seen in the last few days ...


    I took a deep breath and squeezed my nervous hands together. I swallowed before trying to speak, but still my voice betrayed me.


    ¡°Was it ... you?¡± I asked and felt the painful effort my vocal cords had to do to emit that sound. My throat hurt due to all the coughing and gagging, and my voice sounded hoarse and tired.


    For a moment I felt ridiculous, standing there, not lifting a single finger to help that poor animal. But then I saw him shudder, which left me immediately alert, and his silver eyes opened to look at me. He instantly tried to stand up, baring his small sharp teeth as he hissed threateningly, making me take another step back. But his thin paws trembled and buckled under him, and more blood gushed from the deep cut that tore his back. Even then he kept on threatening me, although he probably knew there was nothing he could do against me, and my eyes fell on that pool of blood that kept getting larger by the minute. What to do? If this goes on he¡¯ll end up dying. My legs moved instinctively as the word death echoed in my mind.


    I ran as fast as I could towards the kitchen and, with trembling, urgent hands, grabbed a bowl, filling it with clean water. I opened two drawers until I found the right one and took out a clean cloth. I couldn¡¯t just stand there and let him die. In truth, I had more than a few problems when the matter implied dealing with death. I just couldn¡¯t allow it to come into that house and claim a life.


    I ran back to the living room and, refusing to think about anything else, knelt next to the kitten, trying to find the best way to touch him. The small cat hissed at me once more and, with a surprisingly fast move for someone about to die, scratched my hand with one of his front paws.


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I scolded him, angry, noticing the blood had started to ooze even faster due to his thoughtless movements. ¡°Let me help! I can¡¯t let you die,¡± I yelled, the weight of the idea alone crushing me, and he stopped emitting those threatening sounds, staring at me with eyes too bright.


    I took his sudden quietness as a sign that he¡¯d allow me to get closer and carefully dipped the cloth in the water to clean his injury. The tiny animal shuddered, closing his eyes, his paws twitching and contracting involuntarily.


    The blood wouldn¡¯t stop flowing and despair started to creep in. He was quickly getting weaker and the water I¡¯d brought had changed color completely.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± I confessed in a pained whisper. ¡°I can¡¯t even understand the seriousness of your injury, much less how to fix it.¡± I squeezed the cloth stained with blood. ¡°How can I help? Can I call a veterinarian? Please, I don¡¯t want you to die. Help me help you!¡± I pleaded, softly caressing his dark, twitching head, and the sound of his bell echoed all around me, startling me, since it was the same sound I''d heard in the bathroom.


    Before my baffled gaze, I watched as his small, furry body started to glow and change. I immediately tried to step back, but ended up falling on my butt, as I watch what had been a small cat slowly take on Human form. And then all that was left was what looked like a child, lying on a pool of blood.


    His gasping breath filled the room, between moans of pain that propelled me back to action. I dragged myself to his side again, and as delicately as possible, pulled the small hand that pressured his wound, watching him in horror. To my surprise his skin was warm, even feverish as with any Human Being, and his pained expression dug deep into my heart. He was just a small boy.


    ¡°Everything will be all right, everything will be all right,¡± I repeated, more for my benefit than his, refusing to think about what he was or the fact that he¡¯d just tried to kill me. The cut that tore his soft skin was deep, stretching from the side of his rib cage to his belly, and it kept bleeding profusely with each forced inspiration. ¡°Jesus! This, this needs stitches!¡± I was sure as my panic grew. How could I simply take him to a hospital? It was impossible! ¡°Okay, okay, think,¡± I ordered myself, trying to stop my hands from shaking. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡± I jumped to my feet, stumbling as I rushed out of the room.


    I ran upstairs into the bathroom and ransacked the medicine cabinet, throwing the unneeded stuff over my shoulder and filling the small laundry basket with bandages, a pack of gauze, tape, cotton and a bottle of Betadine solution. I ran downstairs once again, almost tripping on the stairs, and went back to his side. He was still there, lying in that pool of blood that had clearly grew in my absence.


    ¡°This is going to hurt,¡± I warned nervously as I dipped a cotton ball in Betadine and started to carefully clean his wound. His body twitched and trembled, his small hands closed tight, small droplets of sweat shining on his brow. But still he didn¡¯t cry, his screams of pain forcibly muffled behind clenched lips as he squeezed his eyes shut.


    Even after cleaning his wound, the bleeding wouldn¡¯t stop. Of course he needed stitching, I told myself once more and even considered doing it, but immediately gave up on the idea. I¡¯d probably end up making things worse. In despair I almost called Michael, needing to share the responsibility with someone else, but stopped myself. It would only make the situation even more complicated and I¡¯d have a lot of explaining to do.


    I placed the gauze pads over his wound, nervously watching as they rapidly changed color, and tied them in place with the white bandages, wrapping them around his thin torso, careful not to move him too much. When I finished he was breathing more softly, although from time to time his body still twitched, his childish face crossed by an expression of pain. I took a deep breath and sat there, watching over him, until he became completely still, as if he¡¯d fallen asleep.


    Lying like that on my living room floor he looked like any regular six-year-old boy. His hair was black, his skin soft like a child¡¯s. He was naked except for the red ribbon around his neck with its small bell. He was small and thin and I was sure I could easily pick him up. I considered the idea, wanting to take him upstairs where he''d be more comfortable, but was afraid to move him. And so I stood up and grabbed one of Gabriel¡¯s blankets, carefully folded over an empty suitcase, and a pillow from the couch. I went back to him and watched him for a moment. That was not a child, I sternly reminded myself. I couldn¡¯t allow his innocent appearance to deceive me. That boy had attacked me just a few moments ago!


    Even so I covered his naked body and carefully raised his head to place it on the pillow. What else could I do? The extent of his injuries worried me and I was sure he¡¯d only get worse.


    I gathered all the bloodied things and took them to the kitchen. Then, with nothing else to do, I went back to him, sitting next to his unconscious body, standing watch, waiting for the worse. I wondered where Gabriel had gone. I was sure he¡¯d been the one to hurt him, but his soft expression as he caressed the small cat¡¯s fur was still present in my mind. Maybe he¡¯d lost control. I was sure he hadn¡¯t meant to kill him, or he¡¯d done it without a doubt. Either way, right then he was the only one I knew who could help that child.

 Chapter 9 - Part 2

    Part 2


    The sound of a small bell woke me up and I instinctively pulled away, urgently looking for the threat¡¯s origin. I froze in place when I saw him sitting up, surrounded by the blanket. The eyes that stared at me were Human in shape but still silver in color, and the bandages around his naked torso were drenched in blood.


    My heart jumped, making me react, although I still kept my distance.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be sitting!¡± I said urgently. ¡°Your wound ...¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t hurt anymore,¡± he simply answered. His voice was a child¡¯s voice, but his tone was far from childish.


    ¡°But,¡± I started, confused.


    ¡°I heal fast. At least faster than you Humans,¡± he added, contempt clear in his voice, and I was forcibly reminded that that child was nothing like me. ¡°I still haven¡¯t healed completely, though.¡± He pressed his bloodied bandages. ¡°But tomorrow there won¡¯t be even a mark.¡±


    I swallowed hard. Although I was considerably frightened and knew he¡¯d just tried to harm me, facing that child was nothing compared with the pure horror that took over me every time I was near Gabriel. Next to that child I could easily maintain control over my own body and thoughts.


    ¡°Your name is Lea?¡±


    ¡°Suileabhan,¡± he corrected me and I was sure that it wasn¡¯t the first time I¡¯d heard it.


    ¡°And you¡¯re that ... black cat?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my other shape,¡± he simply explained.


    I took a moment to digest it. ¡°So, since the beginning that cat was you?¡± He tilted his head to one side, his silver eyes locked on me, and seemed puzzled by my question. I sighed understanding his silent answer, and took a sweaty hand to my face. The small cat I¡¯d carried in my arms, the kitten that had slept in my bed, hadn¡¯t been a cat at all. ¡°What¡¯s your true shape?¡±


    ¡°This is my primary shape. The shape my Master gave me,¡± he answered with unmistakable pride in his child-like voice.


    ¡°Master?¡±


    ¡°You call him Gabriel.¡±


    My heart stopped for an instant. All that was needed was the simple mention of his name and the symptoms were immediately back.


    ¡°He knew who you were? Did you come with him?¡± I asked, trying to remain logical, and Lea shook his head.


    ¡°No. My Master evoked me once he was released. I waited a very long time for it to happen,¡± he answered with a small smile and I felt a heavy weight on my chest. It was clear that child adored him. How could he have done something like that?


    ¡°How long is a long time?¡±


    ¡°Hmm ...¡± he mused taking his index finger to his lips, as if he was making some mental calculation, and smiled as he reached an answer. ¡°Eighty Human years? More or less, I guess.¡±


    ¡°Eighty years!¡± I retorted incredulously. ¡°He was Sealed for eighty years?¡±


    The boy lowered his gaze, looking sad, his skinny shoulders slanting down.


    ¡°A very long time, all alone in the darkness where there¡¯s nothing. No sound, no cold, no heat. I thought ... I thought I¡¯d never see him again,¡± he told me, his voice filled with pain, and I was speechless for a moment.


    Darkness and nothing else? I couldn¡¯t imagine it. I remembered him standing still under the pouring rain, his face turned upwards towards the sky. At that time I hadn¡¯t understood what he''d meant when he said he was simply feeling. Eighty years of feeling nothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. I saw him as he slowly savored his food. If what that child said was true, those were things only Gabriel could probably truly appreciate. Usually people only valued things that they¡¯d lost. That¡¯s what he¡¯d told me.


    I realized Lea was watching me attentively and was once more reminded of what had happened.


    ¡°Why did you ...¡± I started and hesitated. ¡°Why did you try to kill me?¡± He didn¡¯t look surprised by my question, but his eyes glowed coldly, giving him a feral look. ¡°I mean, why now? You had so many other opportunities. All the nights you slept in my bed, all the times I read to you.¡±


    He lowered his gaze and frowned as if struggling with the idea.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s enough,¡± he ended up concluding. ¡°We¡¯ve been here for far too long and this is not good for my Master. We have to return home!¡±


    I tried to decipher his words, wondering where ¡®home¡¯ was, from that child¡¯s point of view.


    ¡°Hmm, you mean that if I died he¡¯d be free from our Contract and could leave here.¡± I summed it up and he nodded without raising his head. ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°But Master was angry with me and he¡¯d never gotten this angry before,¡± he added with such a sorrowful expression that I couldn¡¯t help feeling sad for him. Human or not, although his words were far from belonging to a child, his feelings matched perfectly with his physical appearance. He sobbed softly and tears streamed down his face.


    I took a deep breath and crawled to him. I couldn¡¯t just watch a child cry and do nothing. I placed a hand on his head, feeling how soft his tussled hair was, and carefully pulled him against my chest, fearing I might hurt him. I felt his body tense up, surprised by that sudden contact, and took a deep breath caressing his soft hair.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. Everything¡¯s going to be all right. I know he likes you very much,¡± I said, trying to comfort him. He snuggled against my chest the same way the small kitten used to do when I carried him in my arms.


    ¡°The truth is I didn¡¯t really wanted to kill you,¡± he whispered bitterly and I somehow understood. How could anyone ask for forgiveness for trying to kill someone? Worse, how could anyone forgive the one who¡¯d tried to kill him?


    ¡°I got it. You wanted to set him free, right?¡± He simply nodded and a sneeze shook his body, making him press his wound with a pained expression. I took a deep breath and gently pushed him away. ¡°Well, nothing to do about that,¡± I concluded before his innocent expression. ¡°I¡¯m not going to kill you and I don¡¯t think trying to kick you out of the house would do any good anyway. So, let¡¯s start by getting you some clothes.¡± He looked surprised as his eyes followed my every move, and I stood up, stretching an inviting hand. ¡°Think you can stand?¡±


    Lea nodded, accepting my help, and stood up, still wobbling and half bending over himself. Freed from the blanket that had covered him, I couldn¡¯t help notice that he really was like any other Human boy, which made me look away, embarrassed. Once more I noticed his bandages stained with blood and felt angry at Gabriel for hurting him like that. I helped him up the stairs, keeping up with his much slower and smaller steps, and we still had to stop twice to allow him to catch his breath before we reached my room.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like I have boy clothes, much less anything that will fit you,¡± I told him as I searched my wardrobe filled with frilly, feminine outfits. ¡°Much less now that he threw away my stuff.¡± I pulled out an old cotton sweater, hidden with my other pajamas that had somehow survived the closet purge. I helped him put it on, since it was hard for him to raise his arms. As to be expected it fit too big for his small body. ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want me to check on your injury? At least let me change those bandages.¡±


    ¡°No need,¡± he answered and took a deep breath, still weakened from climbing the stairs and putting on that sweater. I smiled and started folding up his sleeves in order to free his small hands. The notion of having someone smaller than me around the house was kind of comforting. ¡°Is this it? Aren¡¯t you going to get mad at me? Or be afraid? Or try to run away?¡± I smiled briefly and started on his other sleeve.


    ¡°What¡¯s the use of any of that? And as for being afraid, well, I know I should, but my mind seems to be having some difficulty complying with that. Probably because, compared with him, you¡¯re not scary at all.¡±


    ¡°But I tried to kill you!¡± he clarified as if trying to call a crazy person back to reason.


    ¡°True. And now? Do you still want to kill me?¡± He seemed surprised with my question and lowered his gaze.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t want Master to get angry with me again,¡± he whispered and I took a deep breath. No one who¡¯d look at him right then would think he was any different from any other child, sad after being severely reprimanded by someone he loved.


    ¡°Then everything¡¯s fine,¡± I stated. ¡°Can I keep calling you Lea? Your other name is kind of hard to pronounce.¡±


    He stared at me with his huge silver eyes. ¡°You¡¯re really strange, for a Human.¡±


    ¡°You think? Maybe you¡¯re right. Sometimes I even surprise myself. So?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you can call me Lea,¡± he conceded and I smiled happily.


    ¡°Then how about it, Lea? What would you like to have for lunch? I¡¯m sorry I¡¯ve only been feeding you cat food all this time. You must¡¯ve been hungry.¡± I spoke the same way I usually talked to my schoolmates about their weekends, and Lea gave me a bright, childish smile.


    ¡°Oh, I like cat food. Besides, Master always shares the dinner you leave for him with me, or at least he used to,¡± he added with a much sadder expression. ¡°Maybe ... maybe he doesn¡¯t want me anymore,¡± he whispered darkly. ¡°Maybe it was better if I had died. I had decided to die.¡±


    ¡°Nonsense!¡± I immediately contested ruffling his hair. ¡°If he wanted you dead, then you¡¯d be dead. I¡¯m sure you know this better than I do.¡± His expression became brighter, filled with hope. What was I doing? Trying to cheer up that, that ... My expression became serious. ¡°Lea, are you also a demon?¡± I asked, assuming that was Gabriel¡¯s true nature.


    ¡°I¡¯m a Ruhim,¡± he replied and I blinked.


    ¡±A ... Ruhim?¡± I repeated, hoping for an explanation. He nodded slowly.


    ¡°That which you Humans call demons we call Deiwos. It¡¯s how we call our kind. But that¡¯s still too vague. Amongst Deiwos there are the Shedim, the Mazzikin, the Se¡¯irim and the Ruhim. These are the main castes. We normally don¡¯t identify ourselves as Deiwos and the word demon, as you use it, is far from being enough to define us,¡± he stated in an authoritative tone. It was as if suddenly our roles were reversed and I was the child.


    ¡°Then what distinguishes you from one another?¡± I asked, not wanting to lose this opportunity. At least with Lea I was able to have a normal conversation and, contrary to Gabriel, he didn¡¯t seem to mind my questions.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    ¡°I suppose it¡¯s basically our origins. Shedim are the higher and most pure caste, created as what they are, since the beginning of times. Nowadays, the original Shedim are all gone. Those who inherited that caste¡¯s name are the ones considered the sins of sinners. In other words, those who are born Deiwos. Mazzikin are what you¡¯d call fallen angels. Se¡¯irim were once corrupted Humans. And Ruhim are the immaterial ones, born from the gathering of negative Human¡¯s thoughts and wishes.¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± I muttered under my breath, trying to quickly memorize all I was hearing. He¡¯d just confirmed the existence of angels, right? And some demons had once been angels? Others Human Beings? ¡°So, if you¡¯re a Ruhim and Ruhim are immaterial ...¡± I left it hanging and pride took over his childish face once more.


    ¡°Master gave me a body, and a shape, and a name. He created all that I am today. And because of that I can speak, and touch, and smell, and be. When you don¡¯t have a body, no one recognizes your existence. We are but aren¡¯t at the same time. The world doesn¡¯t see you, only slightly senses your presence. It¡¯s very sad, very lonely. I could hardly believe when Master chose me,¡± he added with a beautiful smile. How could a demon smile like that?


    ¡°And what about him?¡± I asked, lowering my voice as if he could be listening.


    ¡°My Master is a Shedim, a pure blood,¡± he stated proudly, straightening his back with a solemn expression. ¡°Only a Shedim would have enough power to give a body to a Ruhim.¡±


    ¡°The sin of the sinners. Why?¡±


    ¡°Because the Law states that Deiwos aren¡¯t allowed to breed. And that¡¯s why there¡¯s so few of them,¡± he noted with a sorrowful tone.


    ¡°Law?¡±


    ¡°The Law that rules over all of us. The Lex Regis. What you like to call Divine Law?¡±


    ¡°Divine Law,¡± I repeated. Were we talking about God now? ¡°And does that ... God. Does he really exist?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I don¡¯t know,¡± he answered thoughtfully. ¡°No one really knows. I think that only the Shedim know the answer to that question. But the Law is very real.¡± I took a deep breath in relief glad I didn¡¯t have to deal with the question of the existence of God just yet, and focused my attention on that Law.


    ¡°This Law, is it written somewhere?¡±


    ¡°No. There¡¯s no need for that. We all know it by heart. Only Human Beings, while living as such, are allowed to forget the Law. Because Human Beings are allowed to choose.¡±


    ¡°But if the Law can be broken, doesn¡¯t that imply a choice? You can choose to break it or not.¡±


    ¡°Breaking the Law leads to the destruction of what we are.¡±


    I felt confused... how so? He¡¯d just told me that the existence of beings like Gabriel were against the Law. But they clearly existed, right? ¡°I don¡¯t understand. I can¡¯t see where''s the difference. Our choices also have consequences,¡± I stated defensively. After all, that mess was exactly that, the consequences of a choice I¡¯d made.


    ¡°But there¡¯s a big difference. As Humans you can always decide to go back and correct your mistakes or simply start all over. For us, breaking the Law seals our fate.¡±


    ¡°So, for example, if Deiwos,¡± I began, trying to use his own words, ¡°can¡¯t have children, what happens to those that decide to have them?¡±


    ¡°As I said, they¡¯re destroyed,¡± he answered with such a matter-of-fact tone that I was rendered speechless. ¡°No female survives a birth.¡±


    ¡°And what about the males?¡±


    ¡°Males are spared,¡± he said, shrugging. ¡°I think the Law has established that females are the ones responsible for the decision to procreate or not. After all, if a female decides not to have a child, it is in her power to do so.¡± I didn¡¯t know what shocked me most, his words or the calm, cold way he spoke them.


    ¡°Then why? Why do they break the Law?¡± I managed to ask.


    ¡°For none of the noble reasons you might be imagining,¡± Lea smiled coldly. His tone became hard and dry. ¡°It¡¯s all a game of power the Shedim play generation after generation. Shedim are the most powerful of all Deiwos and, logically, the stronger clans are those who have in their midst the highest number of Shedim. So females are used to breed children, and males to grant power to the clans that are normally ruled by a dominant male.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s horrible,¡± I whispered.


    ¡°It is what it is.¡±


    ¡°So they¡¯re born to die?¡± I questioned in disbelief.


    ¡°They know that¡¯s their fate. It¡¯s the only way the power of a given clan can grow. Females are rare and precious, and are carefully guarded and taken care off. When there¡¯s a war between clans, the loser also loses all their females to the winner. And so the only chance for that clan to survive is by stealing other weaker clan females.¡± I could immediately foresee the numerous wars and blood baths a system like that would result in.


    ¡°And the children?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re normally raised by Mazzikin, at least while that¡¯s possible. As they grow, many Shedim become completely uncontrollable and will only obey a stronger male. The only thing they respect is the hierarchy of their own caste. But not Master. Master isn¡¯t like that,¡± he added vehemently and I took a deep breath.


    I wondered if I should be frightened by the atrocities I now knew he was capable of or relieved since even though he was clearly a terrible monster, he seemed to be a monster with a huge amount of self-control.


    I stroke his soft hair since I couldn¡¯t really tell him that I didn¡¯t share one ounce of his faith in him, and stood up smiling.


    ¡°And what about lunch?¡±


    His silver eyes came alight when a bright childish smile stretched over his face.


    ¡°Pizza!¡± he said, expectantly, and I nodded.


    ¡°Pizza it is!¡±


    I picked Lea up so he wouldn¡¯t have to walk downstairs, and went down to the kitchen. I carefully sat him on a chair and went to inspect the freezer.


    After placing two pizzas in the oven and setting the timer, I sat at the table in front of him to dig deeper for information.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I started. ¡°Let¡¯s see if I understood everything. You guys are Deiwos, what we call demons, right? But are from different castes. He is a pure blood demon, born from other demons. And you ... you were an immaterial demon, and he gave you a body and a name.¡± Lea nodded, confirming my conclusions, and I sighed feeling tired. ¡°Then there are the ones that were angels and the others that were Humans, like me.¡± He nodded again. ¡°Before he was Sealed, where was he Sealed?¡± I asked, noticing I still hadn¡¯t that piece of information, and Lea¡¯s expression became darker.


    ¡°Between dimensions, between spaces, between times, where there¡¯s nothing.¡±


    Nothing. I recalled that was the exact same word that had occurred to me the first time I¡¯d seen the darkness that had appeared in my room, that black substance from where he¡¯d emerged. The evocation had probably opened a portal to that inter-dimension, I supposed. It was the most acceptable explanation at that moment.


    ¡°So I freed him from that nothing and he called you,¡± I said and Lea nodded with a renewed smile. It was clear that his reunion with Gabriel was a good memory. ¡°Why did he call you?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯m always by Master¡¯s side,¡± he stated proudly.


    ¡°You also have powers, right?¡± I asked, making him look uncomfortable for the first time. ¡°You were the one who made it so that I couldn¡¯t move, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he confessed, looking away with a sorrowful expression.


    ¡°What else can you do?¡±


    ¡°Other things. But now I¡¯m not allowed to use my powers. Master forbade me.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, because of what happened?¡± I guessed and his unhappy expression was enough to confirm it. ¡°But you still changed shapes.¡±


    ¡°Because Master told me I wasn¡¯t allowed to upset you. And you were worried and almost crying,¡± he lamented. ¡°And I thought it was better like this, so that we could ... talk.¡±


    I leaned my head on my hand. ¡°That doesn¡¯t please me at all,¡± I retorted and he looked startled, perhaps afraid of having committed some unforgivable sin. ¡°When you talk like that, it almost sounds as if he did what he did to protect me.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth! Master is always watching over you! Always!¡± he exclaimed.


    ¡°I understand that he is perfect in your eyes,¡± I argued and Lea smiled.


    ¡°Of course he¡¯s perfect. But even if you don¡¯t see it like that, you can¡¯t deny that he saved you ... from me. Isn¡¯t that enough proof that he¡¯s always watching over you?¡±


    I recalled his surprised expression when I hit him and couldn¡¯t help feel bad. In my panic I¡¯d made a mistake. He¡¯d helped me and I¡¯d dumped all my fear and anger on him. But still, I couldn¡¯t exactly just ask him for forgiveness! I decided I didn¡¯t like the direction our talk was taking and stood up with the excuse of checking on our pizzas.


    ¡°Just a bit more and you¡¯ll be telling me that he¡¯s all good and I should trust him!¡± I harshly pointed out. The pizzas still weren¡¯t ready.


    ¡°Well, good and bad are things that can¡¯t really be defined. To me good is all that makes me happy. Bad is all that makes me sad and brings me pain. To me, Master is good, yes.¡± I went back to my place, understanding his way of thinking.


    ¡°If that¡¯s how it is, then to me your Master is bad. Because he scares me and forced me to agree with a Contract I never wished to accept! And because of that I¡¯ll probably have to do things I really don¡¯t want to do!¡± I countered.


    ¡°I understand, but there are still many things that you don¡¯t know. From the moment you evoked my Master, there was no other way. We aren¡¯t allowed to choose.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? That an evocation always means a Contract?¡±


    ¡°It always means an exchange. And an exchange can only be replaced by another exchange of similar value.¡± I didn¡¯t understand a single word he¡¯d said and mentally prepared myself before continuing.


    ¡°Explain,¡± I demanded and he hesitated for a moment. I thought he¡¯d end up telling me he wasn¡¯t allowed to talk about that. After all, if I¡¯d been having that same conversation with Gabriel, he would have told me that those were things that didn¡¯t concern me a long time ago.


    ¡°In an evocation something is always offered in return for the appearance of an entity,¡± he finally told me. ¡°Only a powerful and experienced Magic user is able to deceive or even completely avoid that exchange. And when the entity evoked is a Shedim, the chances of that being possible are even slimmer.¡±


    ¡°But I ... I didn¡¯t offer anything!¡± I contested, all my feelings of injustice blurting out of my mouth, and he averted his gaze.


    ¡°But you did. You offered your blood and your eternity, which in Magic language means your Soul. Blood is the red thread of destiny that connects the Soul to the body, and the infinite symbol refers to the infinite cycle of Humans¡¯ death and reincarnation.¡± I sat there, completely stunned. I remembered the symbol I¡¯d drawn in the middle of the pentagram, the symbol I¡¯d drawn in my own blood. Was that it? That meaningless thing? Had those mere drops of blood sealed my fate, pawning my Soul to that demon? Was there anything more unfair than that? ¡°It seems my Master exchanged that Contract for another one that would spare your life,¡± he added and I frowned deeply annoyed.


    ¡°The way you say it, it almost sounds like he did what he did with the sole purpose of saving me! When I know perfectly well he wanted to kill me right there and then! That something else happened that made him change his mind! He didn¡¯t spare me out of the goodness of his heart,¡± I sarcastically added. ¡°He did it because there¡¯s something he wants from me! And he needs me alive to get it!¡±


    ¡°Yes, that might have been true, but in this horrible world everything¡¯s always changing,¡± he commented in disgust and I decided to make him return to our previous point.


    ¡°So this Contract is the replacement of the original exchange brought upon by the evocation,¡± I concluded and Lea nodded. ¡°Why does he want this Contract so much? What does he want from me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not allowed to talk about the Contract,¡± he replied with an unhappy expression. I''d finally reached the limit of what he could tell me.


    ¡°And everything else? Is it all right to tell me? He has always refused to answer my questions.¡±


    ¡°But not because he doesn¡¯t wish you to know the answers. Master explained to me that the Human mind is very confusing and that he didn¡¯t wish to confuse you more,¡± he told me in that tone of adoration. I stood up once again. Only one minute to go, so I stopped the timer and took the pizzas out of the oven. Hearing him talk like that about Gabriel annoyed me and made me angry, and I didn¡¯t want to release all my bottled up frustration on that child.


    I set the plates on the table and sliced the pizzas. His childish expression brightened with an expectant smile when I placed them on the table. I opened the fridge to take out the peach juice and poured him a glass.


    Lea was looking at the pizzas as if they were the most beautiful things he¡¯d ever seen in his entire life, and I couldn¡¯t help smile.


    ¡°Take one,¡± I encouraged.


    ¡°Can I really?¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± I conceded and he hurriedly pushed a slice over to his plate. ¡°But be car ...¡±


    ¡°Ouch!¡± he complained, waving his burnt hand in the air and blowing his small fingers.


    ¡°Be careful, it¡¯s hot,¡± I warned too late and he smiled at me as if that slice of pizza had been the best gift he¡¯d received in a long time.


    Blowing his hands and slices of pizza alternately, he eventually managed to fill his mouth, having to open it twice to release hot waves of smoke, his tongue probably burning. I laughed at his clumsy haste and thought that even in that he was just like any other small boy.


    ¡°Take it easy. The food¡¯s not going to run away,¡± I observed and he tried to control a little the voracity with which he was devouring slices of pizza one after the other. ¡°You really like it, huh?¡± I asked before his clear expression of happiness, his mouth and cheeks stained with tomato sauce, and Lea nodded munching, his mouth completely full.


    ¡°Ix lealy wood!¡± he claimed and I laughed. It¡¯s only pizza.


    I went back to my seat and took a slice from one of the plates, eating as I observed him. What was I supposed to do now? My problems seemed to grow day by day. Just yesterday my worries had been centered on Michael. That morning I¡¯d been forced to exchange Michael for Stephanie. And now Lea.


    Suddenly, an idea crossed my mind. Maybe he could help me!


    ¡°Lea, do you know where your Master is?¡± I asked and he put down his half eaten slice, swallowing as he shook his head. ¡°Do you usually know where he is?¡± I insisted and he sighed sadly.


    ¡°I used to, but then, Master isn¡¯t his usual self,¡± he added shyly. I was right then. Something had happened. ¡°That¡¯s why ... that¡¯s why I wanted to take him home, even if it meant that he¡¯d be angry with me. Even if it meant that he wouldn¡¯t want me anymore. But I failed.¡±


    I felt sorry for him and, at the same time, felt really stupid. If he had succeeded I¡¯d be dead by now.


    ¡°But why? What happened? I also thought he was acting strange, on Tuesday,¡± I shared in hopes that it would encourage him to talk, but Lea just shook his head and kept silent.


    I felt defeated and once more unconsciously took on the role of cheering him up.


    ¡°Come, now, don¡¯t be sad. You¡¯ll see. He¡¯ll be back to his usual self in no time. How about a bowl of ice cream for desert?¡± I suggested and his head immediately shot up, but the smile on his face wasn¡¯t enough to deceive me. I knew them all too well; fake smiles, destined to appease and comfort those around us. I¡¯d been using them all my life.

 Chapter 10 - Part 1

    Chapter 10


    ASP


    ¨C Kether. The Hierophant prepares the Candidate.


    The Vision of the Ineluctable Destiny.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°Unavoidably, subtly, almost unnoticed, the chains that bind me grow ever stronger,


    heavier and certainly unbreakable.


    The promise that I may one day return to what I used to be slowly fades away,


    and my new me is molded step by step, pain by pain, smile by smile ...¡±


    I spent the rest of the long weekend with Lea and, thanks to him, time went by quickly, unable to consume me as it surely would have, had I stayed home alone during those four days.


    Friday I received a call from Michael, wondering if everything was all right, worried that he hadn¡¯t seen me the day before. I apologized for having missed him at school and, when he asked if I wanted to meet him that afternoon, I used the same excuse I¡¯d used with my classmates, telling him that my aunt had come to spend the weekend, since it was Good Friday and all.


    I tried to reach Steph, but her mother delivered me the same excuses over and over again ¡ª either she wasn¡¯t home or she couldn¡¯t get to the phone. I couldn¡¯t help noticing her guilty tone as she had to lie to me repeatedly, making it clear that Steph was now actively avoiding me. I still tried to question Lea a few more times about what had happened last Tuesday, but he either told me that he didn¡¯t know, or honestly replied that he wasn¡¯t allowed to talk about that.


    Over those four days I found out there were a lot of things Lea wasn¡¯t allowed to talk about and, although I¡¯d never had so many answers before, there were a lot more questions that needed to be asked.


    Lea still slept on my bed, like he used to do when he was in his feline shape. Though I knew I should, I just couldn¡¯t gather enough courage to tell him ¡®no¡¯ when he looked at me with his pleading expression and lonely silver eyes. And so, he curled up under my quilt, his face alight with such an intense happiness that I was immediately and completely defeated. That, of course, meant that every morning I woke up with his small, child-like body curled against mine, as if he needed human warmth to survive. Watching him sleep, quietly, his light soft hair spread over my pillow, always made me smile. Even though he now looked like a child, most of the times he still behaved like a small animal.


    As promised, his wound disappeared after twenty-four hours and his skin recovered completely, without a single scar. His appetite was even more voracious than mine, although as I watched him eat I was sure he did it more out of pleasure than out of the need to feed.


    Sunday Lea asked me if we could go out and so we went to a nearby park. I watched as he looked around him with wide-eyed amazement, staring in marvel at the most simple and mundane things, like trees, bushes and even the smallest of leaves or the green grass under his feet. When I asked him about the reason behind all those amazed expressions, Lea explained that he only knew the world outside my house through cat¡¯s eyes. And everything changed, forms and colors, when he saw it through human eyes. I didn¡¯t quite understand, but didn¡¯t want to spoil his happiness with more questions. I sat on a wood bench and watched him run and laugh to himself with that pure, straightforward happiness that only children can feel. Of course I knew he was far from being Human, that ultimately he was nothing like me and everything like Gabriel. Still, I couldn¡¯t make myself fear him, or hate him, or resent him. Painfully enough, I had to admit that child-like demon had completely won me over, a thought that made me shiver. He is a demon ... he is a demon, I repeated over and over in my head, but stupidly enough those words held no meaning whatsoever. It was like trying to force myself to believe that the trees around me were street lamps.


    Monday I woke up later than usually. I¡¯d spent the night before reading to Lea and I quieted my heart, reminding myself that it was a holiday.


    My bed was empty, and so I sat up, looking for him around the room as I rubbed my sleepy eyes.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called, standing up, and went downstairs. I looked for him all over the place but couldn¡¯t find him. I was instantly worried to death! Where could he be? Demon or not, he was just a child who, as far as I¡¯d gathered, knew very little about the outside world.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I took a deep breath trying to calm down, as I once more reminded myself that that child belonged to a world I didn¡¯t know, and decided to make pancakes for breakfast, certain that he would love to try them.


    I was on my twelfth pancake or so when the sound of his bell echoed in the kitchen and I almost dropped the frying pan, in an instinctive reflex that still reminded me of what had happened the last time I¡¯d heard that sound.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I gasped, seeing him standing by the table, my heart beating too fast, and he forced a smile, noticing the frightened high pitch of my voice.


    ¡°Good morning.¡±


    ¡°Where have you been? What happened?¡± I asked, setting the frying pan down to approach him, and my fear turned back to worry, as I saw that his face, hands and clothes were all dirty, as if he¡¯d fallen down.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± he answered with that same smile and I knew he wasn¡¯t going to tell me anything else about the matter.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± I asked, changing the subject, and gently ruffled his black hair. His expression immediately came to life as he hastily nodded, making me smile. ¡°Then go and wash your hands and face. I¡¯m cooking something that I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll like.¡±


    And there was no need to say anything else. Lea ran out of the kitchen, his bell ringing throughout the entire house, and I took a deep breath. He was so easy please.


    I placed the pancakes on the table and took out the strawberry jam, sugar and cinnamon. I cut a few slices of cheese and mixed a huge glass of chocolate milk, another wonder he¡¯d tried the day before and that had won him over completely.


    Lea came back running. I could hear his footsteps against the wooden floor, but he stopped by the kitchen door to compose himself. I smiled seeing him straighten his tussled hair, and watched as he approached the table with a steady, grown-up-like pace, trying hard not to run again.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± he asked taking his place, curiously looking at the pancakes, and I put a golden, round disk on his plate.


    ¡°They¡¯re called pancakes,¡± I answered. ¡°And we eat them like this.¡± I showed, spreading a spoon of strawberry jam over the golden disk and folded it as he quietly observed my every move. ¡°Try it.¡±


    He obeyed, cutting a slice and driving it into his mouth. He munched it carefully, almost doubtfully, and the smile that shone across his face made me laugh once again. He devoured the rest in the blink of an eye.


    I proceeded to having him try all the other variations, with cheese, sugar with cinnamon, syrup, and cheese with jam. Lea was delighted with every different version, pausing only to drink large gulps of milk that left brown whiskers over his mouth and across his cheeks.


    ¡°So? Did you like it?¡± I asked once all the pancakes had been devoured and he nodded vehemently, licking the inside of his empty glass.


    ¡°Very good,¡± he responded and I felt happy for his happiness, and started on the dishes. ¡°Shame there¡¯s nothing left. I¡¯m sure Master would have liked them, too,¡± he added, sounding sad, and my hands froze for a split second. As much as I tried to forget about his existence, in Lea¡¯s mind he was always present.


    ¡°Ah! Saying something like that after eating the whole bunch!¡± I countered, joking, trying to lighten his mood. ¡°They wouldn¡¯t taste good anyway. We¡¯ll make more, some other time. You can even help me,¡± I suggested, and his expression became brighter. I took a deep breath and went back to my dishes. ¡°Lea, if you¡¯re not really a cat, why do you wear that collar?¡± I asked, drying my hands, and saw him reach for the small golden bell around his neck.


    ¡°I like this collar.¡±


    ¡°Did he ... did he put that on you?¡± I asked, feeling sorry for him, but Lea shook his head, smiling.


    ¡°No. I chose to wear it.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because back at home, Master was always alone. And since no one wanted to get close to him, he started believing he didn¡¯t need anyone to keep him company, even though I know that, deep inside, he felt lonely. I wanted to stay close to him, but he never wanted me around. And so I started to wear this bell. This way, even when he sent me away, he could still hear me, and know I was close by, until he slowly started to accept my presence.¡±


    I placed a hand over his small head. ¡°You love him very much.¡± Lea nodded and I placed a kiss on his dark hair. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Lea. He loves you, too. You¡¯re his ... family,¡± I added, not knowing if the word family meant the same to him, but that was how I¡¯d ended up seeing them. Gabriel, too. The few times I¡¯d honestly seen him smile was only when Lea was lying on his lap.


    ¡°You think so? You really think so?¡± I nodded before his hopeful expression.


    ¡°Of course. When we give something whole heartily we always end up receiving something in return,¡± I told him, confident, but he lowered his head looking depressed.


    ¡°But we, we can¡¯t give. We can only take,¡± he whispered and I couldn¡¯t understand what he meant by that.


    I spent the afternoon teaching Lea how to play cards. His attentive expression and the speed with which he learned, especially how to cheat, occupied and amused me the whole afternoon.


    It was already dark outside when I was painfully reminded that I¡¯d have school the next day, which made me sick to my stomach. Any other time that would probably be because I hadn¡¯t touched my homework or picked up a single book since last Thursday. But not this time. Going back to school meant going back to my problems and I was immediately reminded that I¡¯d have to face Michael and my own feelings, not to mention the problem with Stephanie and Gabriel.


    ¡°Lea, you think he¡¯ll return?¡± I asked while putting away the cards and he pulled his knees up against his chest.


    ¡°He has to.¡±


    ¡°Because of the Circle,¡± I guessed, remembering what he¡¯d told me and Lea nodded. The Circle that no Human could see. I had to be sure I was ready to face him again and I instantly wished that that would only happen at school.

 Chapter 10 - Part 2

    Part 2


    A screeching sound woke me up and I sat on my bed with a startle, still uncertain about which planet I belonged to. My sight took a few moments to became focused again and only then did I realize that the horrible sound was actually my detestable alarm clock¡¯s command, ordering me to wake up. With a curse I pressed the white button to silence it and sighed in relief.


    Lea was lying beside me, knees pulled against his chest as he curled into a ball, hands clasped against his ears and silver eyes wide open. I laughed lightly and he seemed to relax, his eyes still wide with fear.


    ¡°Morning,¡± I greeted him and he grimaced bitterly, kneeling on the bed.


    ¡°That thing is horrible!¡± he stated, staring at the alarm clock with a menacing look. ¡°When I¡¯m in a cat¡¯s form it¡¯s bearable, because I can muffle the sound a bit by bending my ears backwards. But in this form its plain torture! Why do you have to make that thing shout every morning, Mari?¡± he asked, genuinely curious, and I smiled noticing that it was the first time he¡¯d said my name.


    ¡°It¡¯s so that I can wake up in time and don¡¯t get late for school.¡± I tussled his hair.


    ¡°And is it so important to obey those kinds of things?¡±


    ¡°Of course. If I don¡¯t arrive in time, I get a minus for punctuality, which is like being punished,¡± I tried to explain.


    ¡°That¡¯s so stupid. You Humans, who can choose to do whatever you want, spend your time creating rules you have to obey,¡± he retorted and I couldn¡¯t help smile as I understood what he meant. Lea went back to bed, curling up like a cat, and I hurriedly got dressed. If possible I wanted to leave home without having to run into Gabriel, should he decide to stop by the house before going to school. I knew I had to talk to him, that it was inevitable. But I couldn¡¯t help wishing I could avoid him for a few more days.


    I was in the bathroom, trying to give some measure of order to my constantly disheveled hair, when the air all around me suddenly became heavier. The brush fell through my stiff fingers and I saw as my own expression changed to a mask of fear. Without thinking twice I ran back to my room, closing the door behind me. Lea was sitting on the bed, knees pulled against his chest, as he rocked himself back and forth, looking as terrified as I was.


    ¡°He¡¯s back, isn¡¯t he?¡± I whispered and he nodded silently.


    I¡¯d never noticed before, since I¡¯d never been away from him for so long. How the whole environment around us changed when he was present, becoming heavier and tenser. The air felt denser and harder to breathe.


    I took a deep breath, silently commanding my heart to calm down, and focused my attention on the frightened child before my eyes. Walking up to him, I caressed his soft hair and made myself smile when he looked up, his silver eyes haunted by fear.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s going to be all right,¡± I guaranteed, but it wasn¡¯t enough to convince him.


    ¡°Maybe ¡­ maybe he thinks I¡¯m dead. Maybe it was better if I had really died. Maybe he¡¯s still angry with me. If Master wished for me to die, then I want to be dead. I don¡¯t want him to get angry when he finds out I¡¯m still alive.¡± I hugged him, muffling his broken voice, and felt him shiver. Lea¡¯s fear was different from mine. What he feared wasn¡¯t his fury, or even pain, or death. What he feared the most was disappointing him, even if that meant he should be dead.


    ¡°Stop thinking like that!¡± I commanded as his anguish left a bitter taste in my mouth. ¡°It¡¯s like I¡¯ve told you. He didn¡¯t want to kill you! And what happened ... it¡¯s in the past! If I¡¯m not angry with you, he has no right to be!¡± He seemed to calm down a little, though his expression was sad and heavy when he pulled away from me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll change form. I don¡¯t want him to get mad because I look like this.¡±


    Always afraid he¡¯ll get mad, I thought angrily, but decided not to counter him. As before, his body started to glow and began shrinking, almost as if folding over himself, until it disappeared inside the sweatshirt that rested almost empty on my bed. A soft movement told me where he was and I helped him out from under the clothes that covered his small black body.


    The kitten kept his head lowered, his ears sagging, and I smiled as I picked him up.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go downstairs together,¡± I decided, holding him against my chest, and gave him my most confident look when he stared at me inquisitively.


    When I left the room, I¡¯d already decided I¡¯d be brave enough to face him, for Lea¡¯s sake if nothing else. I wasn¡¯t about to allow him to hurt that child any further! And if I was the reason behind all that mess, then it was time to put an end to it. Even armed with my full resolve, my legs started shaking as soon as I reached the base of the stairs, my heart drumming in my ears, leaving me half deaf, my breath becoming ragged as I walked towards the living room door.


    I forgot to breathe when I saw him materialize a brown shirt out of thin air and he turned to face me, as if my crazed heartbeat had announced my arrival beforehand. Amongst the incredible perfect white that covered his sculptural torso, something caught my eye. In the middle of his chest, a bit to the left, a red symbol contrasted heavily with his white skin; the mark of our Contract.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    His pained expression caught me by surprise, but it was so fleeting that I wondered if I¡¯d it seen right. His gaze dropped to the kitten, safely held in my arms, and a red glow took over his black eyes. I felt the poor animal shiver and held him protectively.


    ¡°Stop ¡­ Stop it,¡± I managed to say, searching for my voice that had suddenly escaped me, and his reddish stare turned towards to me. Involuntarily I took a step back. He was terrifying, more terrifying than all that my mind was able to grasp, and I felt lost, devoured by darkness.


    Lea fought to free himself from my arms, pulling me out of that state of pure terror, and I recalled the decision I¡¯d made just a few moments ago. I held the kitten, standing straight, refusing to allow him to escape, and raised my head to face him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to hurt him anymore!¡± I stated, unflinching from that burning gaze, and it was his turn to look surprised.


    ¡°Do you know what you¡¯re saying?¡± he asked me in his soft, velvet tone, and I nodded firmly. ¡°Do you know what he is?¡± I nodded again. ¡°And that he tried to kill you?¡± His voice rose in a crescendo and now even the glass windows shuddered, threatening to break. My knees buckled, unable to hold me standing any further, my chest hurting, my mind spiraling filled with fear and darkness. I hid my face against Lea¡¯s soft fur and forced myself to breathe. The only coherent thought that crossed my mind was that I was probably going to die, the air refusing to fill my chest, my eyes stinging painfully.


    ¡°Mariane ...¡± That magical word in his melodic voice echoed inside my head, releasing me from the darkness that had held me prisoner, and I managed to look up at him. His face, which just moments ago had been a terrifying mask of pure fury, was back to being inhumanly beautiful and calm. His eyes had also changed color, and were now a dark purple that somehow looked regretful and sad. ¡°Mariane, I understand,¡± he told me softly, but the pain remained, the same pain I remembered seeing there before he¡¯d made me lose consciousness, before everything had become even more messed up. ¡°Suileabhan!¡± His voice was nothing but a whisper, but the order implicitly echoed across the whole room, making me jump. I knew now where I¡¯d heard that name before, in that exact same tone. I¡¯d heard it in my dream that suddenly became too real. The small cat in my arms raised his head immediately.


    ¡°No! Enough!¡± I demanded, raising my voice above my fear. ¡°Stop hurting him!¡±


    He looked surprised again but only briefly, before his expression became harder.


    ¡°Does that mean you¡¯ve forgiven him?¡± he asked me softly, although the pressure in his tone was almost tangible. I looked down at Lea, who once more lowered his head, and felt as if my answer held the power of a magical evocation.


    ¡°I¡¯ve forgiven him!¡± I replied and Lea looked at me with bright, incredulous eyes. I smiled softly and raised my head to face him once again, making use of all my strength.


    ¡°I can¡¯t forgive,¡± he told me dryly and my heart sank as I felt Lea shiver. I knew all too well that those words hurt him more than any injury, and I couldn¡¯t help feel sorry for that child. ¡°I ... don¡¯t know how,¡± he added and I faced him once again, trying to decipher his words. So it wasn¡¯t that he didn¡¯t want to forgive him. He simply didn¡¯t know how to do it? Gabriel looked away with a slow movement of his head, and stared out the window. And, somehow, I suddenly saw him as Lea did ¡ª a terrifying, frightening creature, but, at the same time, a very lonely existence. ¡°However, if that¡¯s what you wish, I won¡¯t punish him any further.¡± For a moment, surprise filled my thoughts. Lea¡¯s pointy ears rose hopefully and I frowned, making use of all my courage to be able to clearly say what I wanted.


    ¡°If you¡¯ll do as I wish, and you don¡¯t know how to forgive, I want you to forget what happened! I want you to act just like before!¡± I held my breath once more, as the statue began to move once again. It was easy to forget that he was able to move when he stood still like that. His violet eyes turned back to me, as if to measure the truth of my words. Lea was also staring at me. And I was painfully aware that I¡¯d just asked for a favor, which, when dealing with him, normally meant there was a price to pay.


    ¡°Why?¡± he finally asked.


    ¡°Because he did what he did for you! Because he worries about you. And because you¡¯re important to him,¡± I answered. ¡°You¡¯re as important to him as he is important to you.¡± I dared add in a last act of courage and he stood silent, observing me for a moment.


    ¡°Very well, then,¡± he finally conceded, releasing me from his intense gaze, going back to putting on his brown shirt that had stayed forgotten in one of his hands. ¡°If that¡¯s what you wish, so be it.¡± And then he disappeared leaving a thin rain of small black stars in his place.


    I stared blankly at where he¡¯d stood just moments ago. I¡¯d seen him disappear a few times before, but it still amazed me.


    I felt the kitten I still held start to grow, gaining weight, and looked down to see as his shinning body changed shapes. The small boy that appeared before me was sobbing bitterly, rubbing his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks. I smiled and hugged his naked body, kissing his black hair.


    ¡°See? Everything went fine. Don¡¯t cry.¡±


    He tried to do as I told him, but just couldn¡¯t stop, his small shoulders shaking like dried leaves in the wind. Only then I understood the tension he¡¯d been in all that time, and how important Gabriel really was to him. I felt even happier for having been brave enough to face him and held him in my arms, rocking him gently until he calmed down and stopped crying.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± I reassured, drying his tears. ¡°And no more tears. There¡¯s no more reason to cry, right?¡± He seemed embarrassed and nodded. Then I suddenly remembered something else. I was most certainly completely late! ¡°Crap! I have to go!¡± I announced jumping to my feet or at least tried. But my still shaky legs refused to obey and I fell back on the floor. Lea looked at me with a worried expression and I made myself smile. ¡°I¡¯m really clumsy sometimes,¡± I told him as an excuse, but he didn¡¯t pay attention to my words, hugging me, his small arms surrounding my neck. I sat very still, surprised and kind of suspicious, and my heart jumped a beat when he sighed softly against my ear.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± he said in a low voice and his soft lips touched my cheek.


    A gentle breeze surrounded us and I reflexively closed my eyes for a split second. I felt slightly dizzy and, when I opened them again I wasn¡¯t at home anymore. I blinked in disbelief as I gathered my thoughts. I was outside now, sitting on green grass, hidden behind a wall of lush bushes.


    It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. I was there, but so were my books, and my handbag, and even the coat I¡¯d planned to wear that day. The sound of laughter told me I wasn¡¯t alone and I stood up, this time more carefully, to take in my surroundings as I fought back that unpleasant sensation of dizziness. It wasn¡¯t hard to conclude I was at school and that the voices I heard belonged to my classmates as they walked to class.

 Chapter 10 - Part 3

    Part 3


    When I entered my classroom, Gabriel and Steph were already there, but this time in their respective places.


    I sat in my chair and watched her for a moment. Stephanie was different, I decided. The cheerful glow that always surrounded her was gone. Now her expression was hard, her gaze cold. Even her clothes seemed to have been randomly chosen, which was rare for her. My friend had disappeared and I was dead set on bringing her back.


    ¡°Morning,¡± I greeted her with my usual smile, but her reply was hard and hollow.


    ¡°Morning.¡±


    She didn¡¯t even turn to look at me, I sadly noticed, and then I was angry, since deep down I knew I was the only one to blame for whatever had happened to leave her in that state.


    ¡°Stephanie! I need to have a talk with you,¡± I decided and she finally turned to face me. At least I¡¯d gained her attention.


    ¡°Really? That¡¯s funny. I also have a few things I¡¯d like to say to you,¡± she replied in what almost sounded like a threat, her words sharp as daggers. But I stood my ground, raising my head to face her.


    ¡°Before lunch?¡±


    ¡°Fine by me.¡±


    Joanne didn¡¯t even greet us as she walked in and I sighed when the teacher finally arrived. Another English class passed in silence.


    When the bell rang we all went our different ways and I was relieved when Kevin greeted me like he always did.


    ¡°Is everything all right?¡± he asked, genuinely worried. ¡°You, Steph and Gabriel hadn¡¯t been around that much. And Joanne, well, she¡¯s been impossible, complaining and criticizing everything within eye reach.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Don¡¯t worry, Kevin.¡± It was the only thing I could tell him.


    I did notice something different. Contrary to what had happened last Thursday, Gabriel and Steph didn¡¯t exchange a single word the entire day, not even during break time. And, when class was over, just as we¡¯d agreed, Steph was waiting for me in the corridor.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    I smiled at Kevin and promised that I¡¯d meet him soon. Joanne passed by us like a hurricane, without sparing us a single look. That talk of ours wasn¡¯t going to help in the least in terms of convincing her we weren¡¯t excluding her from anything.


    We walked side by side down progressively less frequented corridors, but didn¡¯t exchange a single word. Finally Steph stopped and turned to face me.


    ¡°This is good enough,¡± she decided, the loathing in her voice even clearer as she placed both hands on her waist. ¡°What did you want to tell me?¡±


    I took a deep breath, holding my books against my chest. That Steph was kind of scary, I thought. The strength where I¡¯d always found comfort and security suddenly turned against me.


    ¡°Steph, I need to know what happened! I don¡¯t understand!¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡± she repeated sarcastically and I felt the weight of an accusation in her voice. She felt I should know. That it was my obligation to know.


    ¡°Yes!¡± I replied, exasperated. ¡°Because suddenly everything changed!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right about that!¡± she agreed and I swallowed as I gathered enough courage to ask what I knew I had to ask, but especially to hear her answer.


    ¡°Gabriel ...¡± She shuddered at the sound of his name and my heart sank. I knew it. He was the reason behind all this. ¡°What did he do to you?¡± I demanded. ¡°Talk to me!¡±


    Her gaze became even colder and an ironic smile tore at her lips.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t do anything,¡± she replied in a defiant whisper and took a step towards me. ¡°And that¡¯s what I have to tell you!¡± She stabbed her index finger in my chest. ¡°Keep away from him! You have your Michael, right? Isn¡¯t that what you always wanted? Gabriel belongs to me!¡±


    I completely forgot about the things I was supposed to be holding and my books fell all over the floor. The corridor spun around me, the intensity of her greenish gaze confusing my brain, making me wonder if I¡¯d really heard what I thought I¡¯d heard, and somewhere deep inside me a sharp pain stole my breath.


    ¡°Gabriel belongs to you?¡± I repeated, perplexed by the idea alone, and it took me some time to reach the full meaning of what she¡¯d just said. ¡°You can¡¯t!¡± I countered vehemently and she took a step back as if she¡¯d been taken by surprise. ¡°You can¡¯t, Steph! What about Mark? Weren¡¯t you dating him?¡± I urgently asked, looking for arguments that would help me make her deny what she¡¯d just said, but she quickly recovered from her incredulous state and anger took over her face.


    ¡°That¡¯s none of your business!¡± she slashed back.


    ¡°But Steph! You don¡¯t even know him! You don¡¯t know what, who he is!¡± I rapidly corrected in despair and she held me hard by an arm, transforming my urgent voice into a low cry of pain. The place where she held me was the same exact place where Gabriel had grabbed me when he¡¯d saved me from drowning. My skin still showed the purple, dark marks made by his hard strong fingers.


    ¡°Who would have thought that you were such a slut!¡± she declared with scorn and anger. ¡°You want them both? Forget it! I¡¯ve already warned you! Gabriel belongs to me and you just try pulling us apart and you¡¯ll see!¡± she clearly threatened me and pushed me back with enough strength to make me stagger a few steps as I fought to regain my balance.


    Before I could say anything else, she was already turning her back on me and furiously walking away.


    ¡°Stephanie!¡± I still called after her, but only the echo of my own voice replied, until everything was silent once again.

 Chapter 10 - Part 4

    Part 4


    When I became aware of my own surroundings I was outside, a cold wind blowing in my hair and quickly cooling my face. Unexpectedly, even before my tired brain could identify him, Michael was already striding towards me.


    ¡°Mari! It¡¯s so good to see you! I thought we would end up missing each other again,¡± he told me with a bright smile, but his expression quickly became more serious and preoccupied. ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°Michael,¡± I mumbled, waking up from my thoughts which made my pain ever so much more unbearable. ¡°Why? Why can¡¯t I cry? I wanted to cry.¡± His arms immediately surrounded me, but not even his calming warmth was enough to comfort me. Why something like that? Why Steph?


    ¡°I see you crying, Mari,¡± I heard his soft whisper and remembered where we were. I pushed him away, too embarrassed to face him, and looked around hoping no one else had seen that. Of course that was too much to ask, and heads everywhere were turned our way, some expressions quite antagonized, like Lauren¡¯s and Maggie¡¯s, standing a few steps from where we stood.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I muttered and tried to smile for his benefit. ¡°I don¡¯t even know why I came here. I didn¡¯t think.¡± And especially after having decided that I would keep a distance from him!


    ¡°You have no classes this afternoon, right?¡± I looked at him, confused by that sudden change of subject, but he didn¡¯t wait for my answer. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said firmly, pushing me towards the glass door leading inside.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go?¡± I questioned while I allowed his warm hands to guide me. ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°Somewhere where we can talk.¡±


    ¡°But Michael.¡±


    ¡°No buts!¡± I didn¡¯t argue any further. I didn¡¯t have enough strength to do it. ¡°Have you eaten?¡± he casually asked me and I just shook my head. ¡°Great. I know the perfect place.¡±


    Michael towed me out of school and down the street, and I followed him in silence, too immersed in my own thoughts to even notice where we were going. I jumped, startled, when a door was opened right in front of me and looked up at him, understanding his silent invitation. Once inside, I couldn¡¯t help feel kind of mystified, since I had no idea how I¡¯d gotten there. The small diner was simple and shadowy, with no more than a dozen tables and a long counter with tall stools.


    ¡°This place is great! The food is good, the people are nice and, above all, it¡¯s really cheap,¡± he stated, stepping in behind me and the door closed with a soft squeak.


    The man behind the counter smiled as we walked by, but he was the only one to take the time to acknowledge our presence.


    ¡°Oh, hi, Michael,¡± greeted a girl with a pink frilly apron as she walked up to us, and I was immediately caught by her beautiful face and honey-like, almond-shaped eyes that seemed to smile more than her lips.


    ¡°Hi. Can we get a table, Tina?¡± Michael asked with a friendly smile and Tina seemed to notice my presence for the first time.


    My inferiority complex hit me hard. Tina was taller, much prettier and definitely much more attractive than I could ever dream to be. And I could easily imagine how good they would look together, which would never happen with me. Her confident and superior smile told me she¡¯d just reached the same conclusion, and, as she turn around to lead us to our table, she didn¡¯t seemed the least bit concerned with my presence.


    We sat on hard, wooden chairs at a wooden table covered with a plastic table cloth. Tina returned a few minutes later with a menu that she made sure she delivered to Michael, while using the full power of her long eyelashes to wink at him. He smiled, as he always did, accepting the sheet folded in half, and his attention turned towards me.


    ¡°So? What would you like to have?¡±


    I quickly scanned the short list of lunch selections. In truth I''d started thinking that I¡¯d rather be somewhere else. That I¡¯d rather have gone straight home. Besides, we were basically alone once more, something I¡¯d decided that wasn¡¯t supposed to happen again.


    ¡°Don¡¯t know,¡± I ended up answering with a depressed sigh, regretting it immediately as a worried expression took over his face.


    ¡°Two calamari, please,¡± he decided for me. Tina gave him a flirty smile and took note of his request.


    ¡°And to drink?¡± she asked in a purred tone. I closed the menu, answering before Michael could, in an attempt to redeem myself.


    ¡°Water, please.¡±


    ¡°For me, too,¡± he added and she took note once again.


    ¡°Anything else?¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s all. Thank you,¡± Michael answered and she smiled, fluttering her long eyelashes again, before strolling back to the counter.


    I looked away, questioning my good sense and why I¡¯d allowed myself to get caught up in such an embarrassing situation.


    ¡°So? How was your weekend?¡± he casually asked and I felt lost for a split second. I was so focused on my present worries that it was difficult trying to access the past. ¡°Was everything all right with your aunt?¡± he inquired and I recalled the lie I¡¯d told him.


    ¡°Ah, yes. It was great,¡± I answered, trying to make my smile look as real as possible. ¡°She left yesterday.¡±


    ¡°Mari!¡± His hand was across the table and over mine in less than a second and I looked at him, startled and apprehensive at the urgency with which his warm fingers grabbed mine. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Did anything happen?¡±


    I stared at him wordlessly and then looked away trying to sound as casual as possible.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You expect me to believe that? When we parted, Wednesday, everything was great. And then I didn¡¯t even see you Thursday!¡±


    ¡°I told you ...¡±


    ¡°Yes, when we talked on the phone,¡± he went on. ¡°But today, something¡¯s clearly not right!¡±Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    Tina came back with our water bottles and, before her angry expression, I pulled my hand away from Michael¡¯s, looking away embarrassed. She opened the bottles, pouring some of their contents in our glasses and, while she did it, our conversation was momentarily halted. As soon as she walked away, Michael leaned towards me, watching me with concern.


    ¡°Is it something you can¡¯t tell me? If that¡¯s the case, I understand.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that.¡± I lied.


    ¡°So? Maybe I¡¯ll be able to help you,¡± he offered, hopefully, and once more I couldn¡¯t help feel guilty. I was making him worry and for what? There was nothing he, or anyone else for that matter, could do for me.


    I took a deep breath and decided to give him the only answer I could, without having to lie any further.


    ¡°Stephanie and I, we had a fight,¡± I told him and he sat silent for a moment.


    ¡°You argued?¡± he finally asked and I sighed.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s a bit more complicated than that. I just don¡¯t know how to fix this or even if it¡¯s something that can be fixed.¡± Admitting it made me feel a little better, since at least that problem I was allowed to share with someone else.


    ¡°But aren¡¯t, weren¡¯t you guys like inseparable friends?¡± I grinned bitterly, noticing he¡¯d wondered which tense to use, and made my finger slide over the cup rim.


    ¡°It¡¯s complicated.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡± he insisted once more after a brief silence and I took a deep breath.


    ¡°She, she...¡± I stopped. I couldn¡¯t say it, I noticed in alarm. I couldn¡¯t accept it! Her words echoed in my mind and anger burnt my chest. How could he have allowed things to reach this point? ¡°She and Gabriel, they¡¯re ...¡± My voice broke again and I stared baffled at my clenched fists that shook uncontrollably. What was wrong with me?


    ¡°I see,¡± Michael conceded in his soft voice, reminding me that I wasn¡¯t alone. ¡°And? What¡¯s so wrong about that?¡±


    ¡°It just can¡¯t be!¡± I exclaimed, raising my voice, and my cheeks flushed as I noticed his startled expression.


    Tina came back at that precise moment, condemning our talk to another embarrassing silence, and placed two plates with calamari, rice and salad on the table. She asked if we wanted anything else and, after Michael thanked her, she walked away once more.


    I allowed myself to take a deep breath and calm down. Michael didn¡¯t know anything. He couldn¡¯t possibly understand. That being said, it was hardly fair of me to sit there and pour all my frustrations out on him.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s just that. You don¡¯t understand. You don¡¯t know Gabriel the way I do,¡± I justified and this time he sighed.


    ¡°You¡¯re worried about her.¡± I nodded. ¡°And have you tried talking with her?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why we fought,¡± I replied, feeling truthfully miserable. ¡°She accused me of ... being interested in him.¡±


    ¡°And are you?¡± His question was almost casual, if not for the harsh tone hidden under his soft voice.


    ¡°Michael!¡± I reprimanded, outraged.


    ¡°Why? It¡¯s a question like any other,¡± he stated defensively and I frowned, displeased with the implications of his tone.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not!¡± I replied, dryly. ¡°How could I? He is a ¡­ my cousin!¡± I corrected in time and the smile that touched his lips immediately lightened his expression. I sighed. That day couldn¡¯t possibly get any worse.


    ¡°But why worry so much?¡± he asked me, now looking determined to take my problem seriously, and I picked up my fork playing with the fried rings on my plate. ¡°True, I don¡¯t know him all that well, and that he can be a bit strange at times. But generally speaking, he doesn¡¯t look like a bad guy.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. You don¡¯t know him. I¡¯m sure this will end badly. Steph is going to get hurt and I don¡¯t know if she¡¯ll ever recover,¡± I insisted and felt even more depressed. ¡°She¡¯s my friend and I don¡¯t want to see her get hurt, much less because of him. I feel so responsible for all of this!¡±


    ¡°Mari! That¡¯s not true at all!¡±


    ¡°But it is! After all is said and done, I¡¯m the one who brought him into our lives. It was through me that he reached her!¡± The truth of my own words hurt even more.


    ¡°You can¡¯t go around feeling responsible for what people choose to do,¡± he softly retorted, but still it wasn¡¯t enough to make me feel better.


    ¡°How come there¡¯s nothing I can do?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, if you¡¯ve already tried talking with her and it didn¡¯t work out, why not talk with him?¡± he suggested and I hung on his words. He smiled gently and rested his chin on his hands. ¡°After all, in your opinion, he¡¯s the real problem, right? Like you said, he¡¯s your cousin. Maybe he¡¯ll hear you out. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve told you. He doesn¡¯t strike me as the bad boy type. If he was like that, he¡¯d already shown his true colors, with all the girls throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. He¡¯s not the type to go around taking advantage of girls. Maybe he¡¯s really interested in Stephanie, who knows? And if he¡¯s not, maybe you¡¯ll be able to talk him into doing something about it. Ask him honestly not to hurt your friend. I don¡¯t believe he¡¯ll do it on purpose.¡±


    I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Michael was right. I could do that. Hell! I could do more than that! The terms of our Contract clearly stated that he wasn¡¯t allowed to hurt those around me, which wasn¡¯t necessarily limited to physical pain. Besides, if there was something I¡¯d learned during this past month, was that it was useless crying over spilled milk. What was done was done. Now all I had to worry about was trying to fix the situation as best as I could. And so I decided that I wouldn¡¯t allow Steph to get hurt because of him, even if that meant the end of our friendship.


    ¡°Thank you, Michael,¡± I told him in all honesty and he looked relieved.


    ¡°Finally.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I asked unable to understand what he meant.


    ¡°You finally smiled,¡± he simply stated and I averted my gaze, giving my undivided attention to the calamari on my plate.


    ¡°Mmm, this tastes good,¡± I commented, trying to keep our conversation as casual as possible. I couldn¡¯t help think of Lea, and how much he¡¯d enjoy trying out some of those golden rings. Michael laughed lightly, filling my ears with that amazing sound that made my heart jump happily.


    Tina returned to our table, completely ignoring my presence, and smiled at him from under her long eyelashes.


    ¡°Is everything all right?¡± she asked in a sweet, dragged tone, and he looked up at her with his usual smiling expression.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Call me if you need anything else,¡± she added and he nodded, which meant she¡¯d run out of excuses to linger over our table any longer.


    ¡°That girl, she likes you,¡± I stated once she was out of ear¡¯s reach, feeling more than a little bit jealous of the smile he had just given her.


    ¡°What? What are you talking about?¡± His caught-off-guard tone made me laugh.


    ¡°Come on! It¡¯s written all over her face!¡± I replied. ¡°And she¡¯s not the only one.¡± I only noticed what I¡¯d just said after I¡¯d said it and the silence that fell between us made me blush profusely. ¡°I mean!¡± I immediately tried to clarify. ¡°At school there are a lot of girls who like you!¡± I tried, but the way his green eyes were watching me so closely only made things worse. ¡°Which is normal, right? After all, you¡¯re kind of like an idol!¡±


    ¡°An idol,¡± he repeated with an annoyed tone. ¡°None of those girls interests me in the least. The idol you say they like doesn¡¯t exist. In the end none of them really likes me. All they like is the image of me they¡¯ve built in their own minds, and that¡¯s not me.¡± I stared at my calamari once again. What was I doing? Sitting there, alone with him! When I knew perfectly well that the right thing to do was to stand up and get out of there. Do it! Stand up and leave, I ordered myself and put down the fork. ¡°And? Did you manage to read the book we bought together the other day?¡± he suddenly asked me and his casual tone caught me completely off guard,


    ¡°Ah, not yet. Sorry,¡± I replied, remembering our promise to exchange them, and he smiled, his usual warm smile.


    ¡°No problem. I still haven¡¯t finished mine, yet. But I¡¯m almost done. It¡¯s very interesting. I think you¡¯ll like it.¡±


    I smiled as Michael vaguely told me what it was about, careful not to spoil the suspense, and we spent the rest of our lunch talking about one of our favorite topics ¡ª books.


    It was almost four o¡¯clock when we decided to ask for the check and I had to fight my way through his stubbornness in order for him to allow me to pay for my share. When we went back outside I noticed we weren¡¯t that far away from my house, and I promised myself I''d return to that diner with Lea, so he could try the calamari.


    ¡°Thank you for everything, Michael,¡± I told him, pulling up the collar of my coat to defend my neck from the cold wind and he smiled, shrugging happily.


    ¡°It was nothing. I¡¯m glad I could help, and that I was able to cheer you up a little bit.¡±


    I smiled awkwardly. It was true. I felt much better now, which naturally happened every time I was with him.


    ¡°See you tomorrow?¡±


    He nodded and, before I could react, kissed the top of my head.


    ¡°See you tomorrow, Mari,¡± he whispered softly, making my heart jump, and smiled victoriously before walking away.

 Chapter 11

    Lea sat at the table, his legs anxiously swinging back and forth as he waited for yet another huge cup of chocolate milk. I''d just placed a few slices of bread in the toaster and he kept eyeing the small device eagerly, probably wishing he could command it to toast the bread faster.


    "Do you ... come here, to this world, often?" I asked, looking for the best way to strike up a conversation without having him telling me up front he wasn''t allowed to answer, and handed him his chocolate milk, which he immediately gulped down followed by a huge smile.


    "This is really good!" he said once again, licking his brownish lips, chocolate marks all across his face, his silver eyes shining enthusiastically. I couldn''t help smile.


    "Better or worse than cat food?"


    "Hmm, it''s hard to choose," he answered pensively and I made a slight grimace. How come he had to think about that? Those dry, crunching things even smelled bad! And if they smelled bad, how could they possibly taste any good?


    The smell of toasted bread started filling the kitchen and I took out the hot slices to put in new ones.


    "And?" I insisted, spreading butter over the toast and handing it to him.


    "If we come here often?" Lea wanted to make sure and I nodded. "No. Not that I know of. For me this is the first time. And Master doesn''t like Human Beings, much less being surrounded by them." I considered his words for a moment. No one would have ever guessed. Every time I saw him at school there were people around him, and he always smiled politely and was cordial with everyone. Sometimes I asked myself if we were talking about the same person.


    "Why?" I finally asked. "Does he hate us? Despise us?"


    "No," he answered, staring down at his half eaten toast as if it were a work of art. "I''m the one who feels that way. Master just doesn''t like being around you because you''re ... too frail."


    "Lea, you hate us?" I asked placing an affectionate hand over his head and he nodded lightly. "Why?"


    "Because you create us at your own whim and then abandon us to our luck. And we are nothing, and can''t even defend ourselves. And we spend our existence running, and hiding in fear and terror. And when we''re captured, all that''s left is suffering and pain, until our beings start to break down and slowly cease to exist." The pain in his child-like voice left a bitter taste in my mouth and I recalled what he''d told me before, about how his caste came from the negative wishes and dreams of Human Beings. "It was better if you''d just destroy us after using us," he added. I didn''t quite understand what he meant, but Lea raised his head and a childish smile brought a new light to his face. "But you''re different. I like you." I was taken aback by the simplicity of those words and couldn''t help laugh.


    "Glad to know, even if, in your opinion, it was better if I would simply die," I said jokingly and Lea tilted his head to a side.


    "Um, one thing has nothing to do with the other. It''s true that I like you, but as far as my Master is concerned, it was really better if you were dead," he replied with that same simplicity and I gave him a light slap on the back of the head that made him protest with a loud ''Ouch!''


    "If I die I swear I''ll come back to haunt you!" I promised and his laughter filled the kitchen.


    "Great! You can make me chocolate milk for all eternity!"


    I gave him a threatening look and he laughed even harder. That small pest was much closer to being a devil than a demon.


    I took out the remaining toast and spread strawberry jam, Lea''s favorite, on a slice. His eyes widened when I passed it to his small hands, now smeared with butter, and I watched as he relished his snack.


    "Lea, when you said he thought we were frail, what did you mean?" I asked and he licked his sticky fingers.


    "Because you Humans break too easily," he explained, carefully making sure there were no more red marks worth licking. "Interacting with Humans requires extra caution, especially for someone like Master. Any small loss of control is enough to erase hundreds of Humans from the face of the Earth." I shuddered at the idea. Somehow, and although Lea had said that as if it were of no consequence, I had the feeling I knew perfectly well what he meant. "That''s why I was really surprised when Master called me and told me he had accepted a Contract. I''ve never seen him accept a Contract before. Normally there''s no need to do so."


    "There isn''t?"


    "No. Master has enough power to attain what he wants, without having to give anything in return," he said, licking the inside of his now empty cup, stretching his small tongue as far as it would go, which spread chocolate stains around his face.


    "Did he have the power to do that with my Contract as well?"


    He looked at me and shrugged.


    "That I''m not really sure," he said, "but I guess so. I still think that, had Master really wanted, he wouldn''t have had to accept this Contract. I thought a lot about this, especially after he ... got so angry at me because of what I did. And I think ... I think he somehow made use of the Law so that it had to accept his choice and make it happen."


    I was truly confused. However Lea''s grave expression warned me that he couldn''t tell me much more about that. And so I simply smiled and dropped the subject.


    "And now, young man, bath time!" I informed him to which he immediately frowned in protest.


    "Eh? Why?" he complained and I looked at him disapprovingly. There was chocolate all over his face, from his chin up to his forehead, and his black hair was sticky with jam.


    "Really? Do you have to ask?"


    "But I don''t like water!" he whined with a grimace. "Besides, I can use my powers and get all cleaned up. Better yet! I can change shapes and wash myself with my tongue!" he argued and I raised him from his chair, placing him on the floor.


    "No way! And no powers either! Isn''t that what you''ve been told? Your small trick this morning was enough!" He looked away and folded his arms, frowning.


    "That was because I didn''t want you to be punished because of me," he mumbled and I ruffled his dark hair.


    "I know. And thank you. But now let''s be good, okay? And as for your second option, spit bath isn''t a bath at all!" I stubbornly stated and held his hand, towing him upstairs, towards the bathroom. "Hmm, you sure your original form isn''t a cat?"


    "Of course I am!" he exclaimed, as if I''d just offended him, and I smiled.


    "Come on, then. It''s going to be fun," I tried to convince him. "And I promise I won''t try to drown you," I added, joking, but Lea didn''t seem to think it the least bit funny. However, he did stop fighting me, resigning himself to the inevitable, and I finally managed to put him in the bathtub.


    The battle started as soon as I turned on the water and lasted throughout the entire process. Once again I was sure I''d right in my last assumption regarding his original shape. Lea just didn''t like water, he hated it, shaking his head, spitting and almost drowning when I rinsed his hair and a few drops slid over his face.


    When it was finally over we were both tired and wet, and the bathroom floor looked more like a lake. I wrapped his small body in a warm bath towel and he sighed in relief.


    I took him to my room, sitting him on my bed while I changed my wet clothes for something dry. Then I returned to his side, brush in hand, and started combing his hair.


    "You think he''ll come home today?" I casually asked and he nodded. "Do you remember what we were talking before? About what he thinks of us?" He kept silent, waiting for me to go on. "What would you say if I told you that ... he''s been going out with a girl?" I asked and only then noticed how hard it had been to put it into words. Lea turned towards me with a jump, his fierce gaze making me recoil apprehensively.


    "What do you mean?"


    "I ... I don''t know," I answered, unsure, uncomfortable under the heavy pressure of his gaze. "All I know is that one of my friends told me that they were together and that she didn''t want me to interfere," I reported in an almost inaudible voice and that thin, sharp pain returned. Even if Steph didn''t like it, even if I hadn''t the right to meddle, something like that! I simply couldn''t allow it!


    Lea averted his gaze, although his small hands clutched the towel tightly, and frowned with a clear disgruntled expression.


    "That''s why I wanted to take him away," he grunted, now apparently angry with himself for having failed his mission, and I refused to recall what his success would have entailed.


    "You knew, Lea? You knew about him and Steph?"


    He shook his head. "No. And that''s not the real problem!" he answered, pointedly looking at me, and I was sure he thought I should know exactly what he meant. As I kept silent he released a deep sigh and knelt on my bed, sitting on his heels, losing his menacing stand. "What are you going to do?" he asked me curiously and I was completely caught off guard.


    "What am I ... I don''t know!" I answered, feeling pretty useless. "I tried talking with her, but she wouldn''t listen. So I thought I should try and talk with him. But it''s so hard. And then I don''t really have a way to make him obey. If he refuses ..." Lea held my hand and I turned to face him.


    "You have to do like Master does," he stated, smiling mischievously. "You have to learn to use the Law to your advantage."


    "Are you talking about the Contract? I thought about that, but, well, he can always break it, can''t he? And if he does, I''m sure he won''t get whatever it is that he wants, but, on the other hand, he''ll be free from all the other terms and will be able to do as he pleases. He might even decide to kill everyone," I argued and Lea''s gaze glinted astutely.


    "That''s not quite right," he answered me and his small fingers touched the blue velvet ribbon I kept around my wrist. "Contracts can''t be broken just like that. If they could they wouldn''t be Contracts, but mere agreements. This mark is the Seal that enforces the Law, and the Law states that the one betrayed by the breach of a Contract has the right to demand that the betrayer be punished. And the gravity of the punishment depends on the value of the Contract."


    I had to carefully ponder his words for a few moments before I was able to completely understand what he''d just told me.


    "So, if he breaks the Contract, I can demand that he is punished?" I concluded.


    Lea nodded with a serious expression. "And vice-versa." I swallowed hard. It was kind of logic. I just had never thought about that.


    "And the weight of this punishment varies according to the Contract''s value," I went on, the gears in my head turning. "But how can I know what''s the value of my Contract? What he has to do for me is so ... mundane. And what I have to do for him is ... well, although I might find it disgusting, it''s not like it would be that much of a problem for most people," I argued in a low voice, too embarrassed for having to talk about it.


    "It''s not that simple," Lea countered in his grown-up tone. "I can''t explain it, but if you''ll believe in me ..."


    I took a deep breath. Believing, not believing, things in my head weren''t that linear.


    "Anyway, what kind of punishment can I demand?"


    He hesitated for a moment. "You can ask for his Soul."


    I was so stunned by his answer that I didn''t know what to say.


    "Wha ... what?" I choked. "But that''s like asking for his death, right?"


    "Not quite. Unlike you Humans, our Souls don''t belong to the Cycle of Life and Death. If you were to ask for his Soul he would be imprisoned for all eternity, his powers Sealed," he explained, his pained expression leaving me wordless.


    And there it was! My heart rushed. A way to Seal him again! The answer to all my problems! All I had to do was to make sure he broke that Contract. And suddenly that didn''t seem all that difficult. After all, he''d already almost done it once. And now, if I would just let him be ... If I were to allow him to hurt Steph, as it would certainly happen, I could make use of the Law and demand his imprisonment. Sure Steph would be depressed, and she might even hate me for the rest of her life. But, in the end, she was still a Human girl, and I knew all too well how resilient Human Beings could be, more than able to stand up and face almost anything that might be thrown their way. I was sure she''d forget him soon enough and that she would end up finding some nice boy that would really deserve her. And the rest, as painful as it might be, was a cheap price to pay to free her, and me, from that terrifying creature. Above all, I''d be free from that terrible Contract. And he would disappear from my life, returning to the darkness from where he should have never been released.


    That last thought left a bitter taste in my mouth and I recalled Lea''s presence, watching me in silence, as if he could listen to the endless torrent of thoughts and arguments that crossed my mind. He looked apprehensive, as if aware of my motivations and ideas, and I felt sorry for him, knowing that he too would suffer when I sent his Master back to oblivion.


    "Lea, why are you telling me all this?" I asked softly and he lowered his head.


    "Because if I can''t take him back home, then at least ... at least I hope that someone might be able to take care of him," he answered darkly.


    "Take care?" I repeated, trying hard to understand what he meant. "Are you talking of me?" I concluded, half outraged, half panicking and he just stared at me. "You''ve got to be kidding!" I exploded, jumping to my feet, and paced back and forth, trying to keep rational about it all.


    "Because right now you''re the only one who can do it! Because you''re the one who called him here! And because it''s with you he has this Contract!" Lea told me in one breath, his gaze following me from one end of the room to the other, and frustration squeezed my chest as despair took over my thoughts.


    "Lea!! All I want is for him to disappear!" I stated, raising my voice, and ran a shaky hand over my face. "And you, you give me the solution and ask me to use it to control him?" I asked and laughed nervously. That couldn''t be happening! "What about me? Where do I stand in all this? If I can''t get rid of him, what''s left of my life?" I went on, my voice breaking into a rough whisper and I let myself lean against a wall, sliding slowly towards the floor, suddenly too tired to even stand. The cold from the plaster trespassed my cotton blouse, calming me down, although it did little in helping me order the chaos running amok in my head.


    "Mari, I wish I could tell you everything," he told me in his child-like voice. "But I can''t. The only thing I can do is ask you this."


    I raised my head, staring at the ceiling, and took a deep breath.


    "I don''t know if I can do what you''re asking," I declared, my voice sounding hard and cold. "I''m sorry. Maybe you should really kill me, or something. If you did all your wishes would come true."


    I heard the soft creaking of the bed and the sound of bare feet against the floor, followed by the soft tinkling of his bell. I didn''t move. I''d grant him that chance. If everything ended there, then at least it was an end. I was too tired even to think about tomorrow. He stopped right in front of me, his silver gaze too cold and hard to belong to a child''s face. I didn''t react. It was almost easier to just die there than having to decide what to do next. His small hands surrounded my neck and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Only just a bit more and I''d have eternal silence. Sure I felt sorry for those that would suffer from my departure, but maybe this was for the best. However, Lea''s small hands didn''t choke me as I expected, and slid, warm and soft, over my skin, slowly enveloping me in his embrace as he leaned his forehead against mine.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    "I''m sorry, but now I can''t kill you anymore," he whispered as if he really meant it, as if he wished he could fulfill my wish, but something prohibited him from doing so. "And it''s not only because Master would be very angry. I need you alive. Please forgive me."


    I shuddered at the realization I hadn''t died, that I wasn''t going to die, and a stupid relief washed over me. I raised my arms and pulled him into my embrace, sitting him between my legs, resting my head on his naked shoulder. The flowery scent of the shampoo I had used on him reached my nose.


    "Don''t know which one of you is worse."


    "Sorry."


    "You''re asking me to willingly throw away the only chance I have to win my life back."


    "Sorry."


    "And you''re telling me to throw away what''s most important to me to help a creature that I still haven''t even understood what he wants from me."


    "Sorry."


    I clenched my teeth, struggling against myself, and anguish nearly smothered me.


    "Why? Why can''t I refuse you!"


    His small hand caressed my hair, comforting me, and once more I found myself wondering where were the tears I knew I should be crying.


    "You''re Human, Mari. The choice is always yours," he answered me softly.


    To use the Law to control him, or to use the Law to Seal him.


    I leaned my head back against the wall and he straightened his back to look at me. I felt his small fingers softly touching my cheek and faced his bright gaze. If I were to Seal him, what would it be of that child? And why did that bother me so much? Once more I told myself not to be deceived by appearances. That child was not a child! He was a demon. And no one could guarantee that anything he''d just told me was true, that it wasn''t all part of some sordid plan, too big for me to see the whole picture from where I stood. Like he said, there were a lot of things that I still didn''t know, things that he wouldn''t, or wasn''t allowed to tell me. But, if it really was like that, why was his gaze so straightforward and pure? For good or for evil, his heart was completely loyal and dedicated to Gabriel. Lea had risked everything by telling me all that. And I was sure that, through Gabriel''s eyes, him doing so could even be seen as a betrayal. On the other hand, the risk he''d taken only went to show just how desperate he was and how serious the situation really was. How could I disappoint him? And how could I sacrifice my happiness to help a demon?


    "Even if I ... even if I use this Law, the only thing I can make sure of is that he will not hurt those around me. I can''t stop him from seeing Stephanie," I argued, assuming the possibility, and Lea''s expression became immediately brighter, tugging at my soft heart. How could I condemn him to absolute solitude again, when I knew how much he''d suffered these last eighty years? "Besides, if they''re really in a ... relationship, breaking it up just like that can also mean a breach in the Contract."


    "He''ll do as you wish, Mari. If you clearly tell him what you wish," he explained firmly, which deeply bothered me.


    "Without asking for anything in return?" I asked, unsure, and he averted his gaze.


    "That ... that I don''t know. But the choice is yours, it''s always yours," he repeated, sounding depressed now, and I took a deep breath running a hand over his still damp hair.


    "I won''t promise you anything, Lea. But, for now, I''ll just focus on saving Stephanie from all this mess. As for me, if I''ve survived until now, I''ll probably be able to do so for few more days and, who knows? Maybe I''ll find another solution," I told him and he gave me the most beautiful smile I''d ever seen. "However! Please understand. I will not allow this Contract to be fulfilled!" I clarified and his expression became serious again. "It''s something I''d already decided, even before you told me all this. For now, I''ll just keep avoiding Michael as much as I can. Do you understand? My wish can never be fulfilled," I tried to explain. "At least not through this Contract. Even if Michael returns my feelings, the price I have to pay will ruin everything. So, if the time ever comes when I feel that the Contract is about to be fulfilled and there''s nothing I can do about it, I won''t hesitate, and I will use this Law of yours to get rid of him. When that time comes, if it comes, I''ll allow you to kill me, if that''s your wish. After all, it''s only fair, since it was you who offered me a way out, and it''s you who will be alone once he is gone. Just like I''m now fighting to avoid having to suffer, I''ll grant you that same chance." I caressed the soft, warm skin of his face.


    "And you''re telling me all this?"


    "Sure. This is our Contract, Lea."


    He looked down, as if considering all that I''d just told him and, when he raised his head, there were no doubts in his silver eyes.


    "I accept!" he firmly declared and, before I could react, his small hands held my face and his lips touched mine in a brief, child-like kiss. "Now our Contract is Sealed," he told me in that grown-up tone of his and I was so caught off guard that I just sat there, completely stunned, for a few seconds. Then my face caught on fire as I became aware that he''d just kissed me, and I hit him over the head, making him cringe with an ''Ouch.''


    "You! Really!" I complained and he laughed, amused by my angry expression. I inhaled deeply, smiling as a reflex brought upon by the pure sound of his laughter, and held him under his arms, making him stand up. "And let''s get you dressed before you catch a cold!" I added and Lea shrugged, showing he would only do it to please me.


    I helped him put on his pajama shirt and he slid into its matching pants, the only clothes we''d bought for him during the weekend, and the only ones that fit him without making him drag long sleeves all over the place.


    "Maybe I should get you some more clothes," I mused.


    "No need. As soon as Master is no longer angry with me, I''ll ask him to get me all the new clothes you want," he told me with a strained smile and I effortlessly raised him from the ground, sitting him on the bed.


    "He is not angry with you!" I practically spelled it out for him. "You heard what he said, didn''t you?"


    "Yes, but even so, it''s still hard to talk with him," he lamented. Although I''d be trying my best to cheer him up these last few days, the truth was that Lea felt very lonely without him. I grabbed the book I''d bought with Michael and sat beside him.


    "How about a story?" I suggested and he jumped excitedly.


    "Yes, please! I love when you read for me!" he declared, pure happiness making his eyes even brighter. I opened the book to the first page. He was so easy to please.


    I read for Lea the rest of the afternoon and through the night, until he fell asleep.


    Then I stood up, so that sleep couldn''t claim me as well, and went downstairs to the kitchen where I sat to wait for him. I almost fell asleep a half-dozen times and fought the increasing drowsiness with all my persistence. I washed my face, drank cold water, paced around the table, dampened my neck and behind my ears, and yet no sign of him. When I''d finally began to accept the fact that he wasn''t coming home after all, his presence echoed throughout the entire house, stealing my breath away. My eyes flew to the kitchen clock ¡ª it was almost three in the morning.


    I tried to control my breathing and to still my jumping heart. Mentally reviewing what I had to tell him, I uselessly reinforced the idea that he couldn''t harm me. Even so, and although I couldn''t hear his footsteps, my hands were already shaking before he''d even reached the door.


    "Mariane." My name ... in his voice.


    I flattened my hands against my ears and counted my breathing.


    "Stop saying my name," I asked with a broken voice.


    He seemed surprised to see me there but simply stood by the door, so completely still that he could''ve easily been mistaken for a statue, granting me the time I needed to recover. Slowly, I began regaining control over the irrational fear that drowned every cell in my body, and managed to take a deep breath. I felt so tired.


    "What are you doing here? It''s late. Shouldn''t you be sleeping?" he asked, keeping his voice down, and I forced myself to answer him.


    "I needed ... to talk to you," I replied, annoyed at myself when my voice trembled, and he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame.


    "To me? Interesting. I''m listening."


    I watched him for a moment and couldn''t help wonder where he''d been until then. That small, sharp pain returned when I considered the possibility that he''d probably been with Steph, which, together with everything else, made me irritable and angry for no apparent reason.


    "I ... I still haven''t thanked you for what you did this morning. For having ..." I stopped myself, recalling his words, and corrected my phrasing. "For releasing Lea form his punishment and for saving my life. And what happened, well, I''m sorry." I finally said it, telling myself that throwing away a bit of pride was a cheap price to pay for sealing any debts I might have incurred in during the last events. "I was scared. I didn''t think ... I never meant ..." I stammered, unable to put it any clearer and made a brief pause to recover from the effort. He remained calm, unmoving, as if he wasn''t even there and I was talking to a wall. "Now, that aside, I need to know. What happened between you and Steph?" I asked, making sure I did so in my firmest tone, and his eyes looked away.


    "So, that''s it then," he observed in a mix of scorn and disinterest, and my anger burned molten hot.


    "It''s important!" I retorted, countering his apparently detached expression.


    "She''s nothing but an insignificant Human."


    "Stephanie is my friend!" I declared, raising my voice, and unthinkingly stood up, as if doing so could help me mark my point. The chair fell backwards with a loud bang that left both us in silence.


    "Very well. What do you want to know?" he finally conceded, but his gaze escaped mine once again, his expression becoming even harder and indifferent.


    It took me some time until I was able to organize my ideas enough to establish a coherent line of thought, and I swallowed hard before talking again. Now it wasn''t only his presence that made me shiver, that made my stomach burn. I had questions I wanted to ask, but answers I was sure I didn''t want to hear.


    "Are you ... together?" I managed to ask and my voice sounded lonely and frail as the words left my lips.


    "What does that mean?" he counter-asked, completely indifferent, which made me frown as I had to reformulate my question.


    "Tuesday. Were you together?


    "She came to me," he calmly admitted and my heart almost stopped since he hadn''t hesitated for even a split second.


    "You stayed together?"


    "What do you mean?"


    I clenched my teeth, grinding them together in despair. He wasn''t going to spare me having to ask it word by word.


    "Did you ... sleep with her?" I whispered in a hiss, the words burning my tongue, and he just stood there, unmoving.


    "Yes."


    Pain spread through my chest, making me lean forward, and I forced new air into my lungs. The pain started clawing at my brain, making me faint, and I braced myself against the table, my fingers clawing its smooth surface.


    "Why?"


    "Because she came to me." His indifference exploded against the wave of pain that consumed me and my anger was unleashed.


    "What now?" I asked, unable to recognize my own voice, hard and threatening, and he shrugged.


    "You heard what she said. She thinks I belong to her." The mocking tone that marked his last comment was the last drop. I slammed both my hands on the table, wishing I could hit him instead, and the sound vibrated in the air around us. His head turned slowly to face me, his expression half surprised half curious, and I faced his dark eyes with all my fury and anger.


    "Because of you! Because of you, I lost my friend!" I accused him and my mouth tasted bitter at his lack of reaction. "And I can''t care less about what you do! But one thing you have to abide by!" I went on, not wanting to stop, knowing that if I did I''d probably never be able to start again, and I pulled hard at the blue ribbon around my wrist, tearing it effortlessly, raising my hand in front of him. He frowned, annoyed at the sight of the small red mark that stained my skin, and I continued. "You''re the one who created this Contract! And I will not allow you to break it!"


    "I don''t know what you''re talking about," he retorted dryly, completely different from his previous indifferent self.


    "I told you you weren''t allowed to hurt those around me! I won''t allow you to hurt Steph! Or is it that you only know physical pain!" His eyes widened in an expression I''d never seen in his face, as if he''d just now thought about that. And then his expression became heavier like the air around us, becoming harder to breathe. I pressed my lips together before throwing myself back into the fight. "If you hurt her ... if she ends up suffering because of you. If you make her cry. I swear I''ll declare this a broken Contract and I will demand your Soul as compensation!" I threatened darkly, lowering my voice to a tense murmur, certain that it would end up failing me should I try to speak any louder than that, and the fury that took over his face would have sent me spiraling to the floor, if it weren''t for the table that I used to supported my shaking body with all my strength and determination.


    I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling cold drops of sweat sliding down my forehead. I''d managed to say what I wanted to say, I congratulated myself, trying to focus on what was really important instead of the devastating effect that his terrible presence had over me. Now all I wished was to be able to get away from that place, to return to the apparent safety of my room. Above all, I didn''t want to lose consciousness there, in front of him!


    "I see what you mean." His voice was surprisingly calm and I opened my eyes to look at him. I recalled what Lea had told me. He hadn''t only controlled his voice, but his emotions as well. His face returned to that perfect unfeeling statue, his dark gaze once more indifferent. The air became lighter once again, and I was able to straighten my back. "Agreed," he conceded calmly. "So, from where I stand, I only see two ways to solve this. Either I go on sustaining this relationship, or I break up with her. What do you wish me to do?"


    Wish. Lea had told me that he would comply with my wishes, as long as I made them clear. My answer was so immediate that I couldn''t help hesitate. I had no doubts regarding what I wanted. I wanted him to break up with her, now! In that precise moment if possible! However ... however, my mind could easily come up with arguments that made the other option look much fairer, as far as Stephanie''s happiness was concerned. And, if I rationally thought like that, why was I wishing the opposite?


    "How ... how can you break up with her and not hurt her at the same time?" I questioned, hoping that he''d offer me a few more arguments in favor of my rational choice. If I could prove to myself that my wish was impossible, then there wouldn''t be a choice to be made anymore. I should''ve known better. He would never help me. That wasn''t his role.


    "It''s quite easy for someone like me. There''s a Human boy interested in your friend. If he takes my place in her heart, then she will not suffer," he stated in a disconcerting matter-of-fact tone, his black eyes observing me, and I felt a hint of guilt weighing on my consciousness. I knew he was challenging me, provoking me, and that he knew all too well what I really wanted, just like he''d known when I''d evoked him. There was no escape. "To tell you the truth, it''s not like she''s in love with me, or anything," he pointed out, his voice deep with sarcasm as he pronounced the word love. "She admires the fleeting image she created of me in the brief moments she saw me, and is under the influence of the night we spent together. She doesn''t even know me. How could she possibly love me?"


    It was the same, the same that Michael had told me. Sure, his tone was colder and bitter, and filled with sarcasm, but strangely enough that only made it sound even more real.


    "Do it then!" I decided and he tilted his head sideways, smiling murderously.


    "And what shall I do, exactly?" Again, without sparing me, not even when I knew that my choice wasn''t as unselfish as it should be.


    "What I wish!" I stated firmly. "Break up with her and leave Mark in your place!"


    His smile widened and he straightened his back, uncrossing his long arms, leaving me apprehensive and trembling, as it always happened every time he moved.


    "Fine. I''ll do as you wish," he said and I sighed in relief. "However!" His ''however'' echoed in my mind, making me tense. There was more. It wasn''t going to be that easy. He wasn''t finished.


    He kept silent for a moment, allowing me to recover from the shock and disappointment, and I took a deep breath when I felt myself able to resume our conversation.


    "However?" I asked and he smiled again, seeming amused, his face taking on that surreal beauty that could never belong to a Human Being.


    "However, I''ll only do this if I get something in return." My legs threatened to buckle under my weight and I held on to the table with all my strength. More exchanges, more Contracts. And what could I possibly give him that wasn''t already pledged? I had nothing, besides despair.


    "What ... do you want?" I whispered between breaths, my voice falling to its usual frail and broken tone, and his expression became slightly cruel, the corners of his perfect lips slightly turning downwards. And still he was breathtakingly beautiful.


    "Let''s see ..." He left his words hanging, as if considering the matter, and I waited. "It so happens that I''m rather bored," he told me with a tedious expression. "In the end, we both know that I''ve already fulfilled my part in this Contract, and still here we stand, in this boring impasse." My eyes widened unable to understand, not wanting to understand, and he looked at me curiously. "Come on! You''re not going to tell me that you still haven''t noticed! The useless blondie is head over heels for you!" he declared with such certainty that I felt completely lost, as if I''d just been pushed to the edge of a cliff, not knowing how I''d come to stand there. "Everyone can see it! It''s rather annoying!" he went on and my mind fervently denied every single word he said. "Whatever the reason, he seems to be refusing to admit it. I wonder why!" Sarcasm again. "Either way, I promised that your feelings would be returned and, although we all know this is already true, there''s no way to prove it to you, unless he admits it himself." I almost felt relieved. If that was true, then there were still ways to stop it from happening. "And so, I have to remain here, until such time comes. I was about to die of boredom when Stephanie challenged me." I clenched my teeth hard and resisted the impulse to cut him off. Hearing Steph''s name in his voice annoyed me deeply, beyond any rational reasoning. "And now you want me to give up my one and only amusement. It just doesn''t seem fair."


    "Amusement," I repeated in disbelief. Was that how he saw her? And those who worried about her, like Joanne and me? All of that, was it of no consequence to him? "Just say what you want!" I demanded, once again boiling with anger, and his face lost that sarcastic look, becoming frighteningly serious.


    "The time I should be passing with her, you will be passing with me," he told me with absolute certainty, and I just stood there, staring at him.


    "What?"


    "You''ll be the one to decide. The longer you spend with me, the lesser I''ll spend with her. After all, it''s your clear lack of taste in men that lead us to this annoying situation. Any other in his place would''ve already taken the next step!"


    I ignored his clear provocation and ran a hand over my damp forehead.


    "How long?"


    "How long?"


    "How long will you need to let her go," I clarified and immediately wished I''d kept quiet.


    His eyes flickered lightly, as if he''d just had a wonderful idea, and that ironic smile returned to his face.


    "Hmm, let''s see. It all depends on you," he declared and I stared at him clueless. "I''ll set your friend free the day you''re able to come close to me enough to kiss me. Until then I think I''ll probably go on having fun in her company every time you''re otherwise engaged. Contrary to your indecisive self, she always knows perfectly well what she wants."


    Not thinking, I grabbed the first thing my hands could reach and threw it at his head. I didn''t quite understand how he managed to avoid it, since I couldn''t even see him move. However, the glass hit against the door frame right behind his head, shattering and falling on the ground in a dozen pieces. He looked down at the small pieces of glass at his feet, looking surprised for just an instant, and then laughed, a rich, warm laugh that filled the entire room, ringing in my ears.


    "I guess that means we have a deal?" he suggested, still laughing, and I wished I could cry of anger.


    The soft sound of a small bell captured our attention, and Lea appeared at the door, still rubbing his eyes, looking extremely sleepy.


    "What is it? What''s happened?" he mumbled and Gabriel bent over, picking him up with ease. His silver eyes shot wide open, immediately awake as he felt himself suddenly being risen so high above the ground, and, for a second, I was afraid for him. "M-m-master ..." I thought he was going to scold him for walking around the house in that shape, or at least treat him coldly as he''d done that morning. But Gabriel smiled, that smile he only showed that child, and ruffled his hair in an obvious good mood.


    "You better sleep with me tonight, Lea. Mari is throwing a tantrum and dangerous things happen," he added, pointing to the glass pieces with a movement of his head, and Lea followed his gaze, almost alarmed.


    "Mari," he whispered looking at me, his childish expression changing to one of sadness and pity as he empathized with my wasted and broken appearance, and then turned to Gabriel, pleadingly. "Master, can we go now?" he asked and Gabriel offered me one last amused smile before turning his back on me and walking away, taking Lea with him.


    Lea, looking even smaller in his arms, still peered at me over his Master''s shoulders, his silver eyes sad and worried, and then they were both gone, lost among the shadows of the corridor.

 Chapter 12 - Part 1

    Chapter 12


    POP


    ¨C The Path of Gimel - The Hegemone between the Pillars.


    Preliminary: The Vision of the Unguided Universe.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°My world was at peace, but it was cold and empty.


    Now everyday there¡¯s something new to fill that emptiness.


    Without realizing it, I find myself buried and, although there¡¯s enough air to breathe, I¡¯m choking.


    The emptiness from before was cold and lonely, but I miss its silence.


    With effort, I try to regain my balance, certain that my mind


    is like a trapezist, crossing an endless precipice over an invisible wire.¡±


    Part 1


    That morning when I went down to the kitchen Lea was already there, sitting on a chair, his bare feet dangling back and forth.


    ¡°Good morning, Mari,¡± he greeted me with a smile and I sighed.


    ¡°Morning,¡± I replied, lowering my voice to a whisper since I¡¯d woken up with a terrible headache and loud sounds were sheer torture.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asked me, sounding worried, and I nodded.


    ¡°Only tired. I didn¡¯t sleep all too well. Who cleaned all the glasses?¡± I remebered last night I¡¯d gone to bed without picking them up, and Lea smiled smugly.


    ¡°Master did. He said it was dangerous leaving them around because I could cut myself,¡± he replied, beaming with happiness. ¡°It¡¯s exactly like you said. Everything¡¯s back to normal!¡±


    I made myself smile, not wanting to ruin his happiness, and lightly caressed his dark, soft hair.


    ¡°I¡¯m glad. What do you want for breakfast?¡± I opened the fridge checking our present food reserves, and grabbed the peach juice pack.


    ¡°Yogurt.¡± That velvet voice sent shivers throughout my entire body and the pack slid between my stiff fingers, falling to the ground, spilling juice all over the place. I panicked. I hadn¡¯t felt his presence or his proximity and had been completely caught off guard due to his constant absences. ¡°Oh well, this time, at least, nothing was broken,¡± he observed, sounding amused, and I tried to relax, thankful for the breath of cold air from the fridge on my face.


    It¡¯s just like in the beginning. Nothing has changed, I told myself and took out two yogurts, placing them on the table, before fetching the mop to clean up my mess.


    I noticed that Lea was watching me, still looking worried, and I wished I could smile just to reassure him. My fingers stiffly clenched the mop¡¯s wooden handle and I finally saw the dark shadow that was Gabriel by the door.


    I wanted to move forward to mop the floor, but the fridge was halfway between me and him, and my feet refused to obey. And then the floor was completely clean and the juice pack had disappeared. I raised my head, too astonished with what had just happened to think twice, and he took a step forward, slowly walking up to his usual place on the other side of the table.


    ¡°I see we have a lot to practice,¡± he noted sarcastically with a mocking smile that didn¡¯t quite reach his eyes.


    I turned my back on him and put the mop back to its place. I made Lea some scrambled eggs and a huge cup of his beloved chocolate milk, and felt a bit better when he smiled, his eyes sparkling when I placed the plate in front of him. I took my place, munching down a piece of toast that I could hardly taste, and didn¡¯t dare challenge my knotted-up stomach any further than that, anxiously waiting for him to just finish and leave, so that I could exit through the door that stood right behind him.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Once my terrible guardian left his post, I ran upstairs and into the bathroom, diving my shaking hands under the cold running water.


    ¡°Mari ...¡± I looked at the small boy watching me from the door and made myself smile, trying to appease his worried expression.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay. It¡¯s the same as always, nothing new.¡±


    ¡°You know, he will not hurt you,¡± he told me gently and I took a deep breath turning off the water.


    ¡°I know. But I can¡¯t help it. Don¡¯t worry. Everything¡¯s going to be all right,¡± I guaranteed and stopped by my room to grab my stuff.


    When I went back down he was already waiting for me by the door, holding his books under one arm. I sighed preparing myself for what awaited me, and he opened the door, stepping outside before me, so we could keep a sane distance between us.


    We walked in silence, just as it had been in the beginning, and I dared observe his tall, lean figure. His strides were large but rhythmic and slow, the brown belted coat he wore reaching just bellow knee length, making him look older, as if he weren¡¯t much older than any other Human Being. We didn¡¯t exchange a single word practically all the way.


    We were almost by the school gates when I noticed a blond boy waiting by the entrance, making my heart jump and warmth course through my veins. It was the first time I saw him so early in the morning and I couldn¡¯t help blush, knowing he¡¯d been waiting for me.


    ¡°How do you want to do it?¡± I heard Gabriel¡¯s voice in a whisper, immediately stealing most of that warmth away. ¡°What time do you want me?¡±


    He meant our most recent deal, I recalled. And so that¡¯s how things were going to be from now on. If I didn¡¯t kept him busy, he¡¯d go to her. Anger bubbled inside me and, once more, I asked myself why I''d agreed with his stupid conditions, when I could simply drive him to break that Contract and get rid of him once and for all. I was sure it wouldn¡¯t be all that difficult, taking into account his recent actions and explosions, and the clear effort he daily endured to keep himself under control.


    ¡°Go home after class,¡± I answered between clenched teeth and he didn¡¯t say another word.


    He walked past Michael, greeting him politely, and went on his way as if I didn¡¯t exist. His pace remained the same, his posture unchanged. I was nothing more than an unimportant toy for him to play with.


    Michael accompanied me up to my floor and I couldn¡¯t help feeling discouraged at the thought of having to part ways with him.


    ¡°See you at lunch time?¡± he asked me hopefully and I averted my gaze, knowing I should tell him no, even as I nodded affirmatively.


    I stood by the stairs, watching him leave and it felt like a dark cloud had just covered my personal sun.


    As soon as I set foot in the classroom, a deafening silence fell over the entire room, critical looks following my every move. Sure it surprised me, especially some of the more disapproving expressions I saw on my classmate¡¯s faces. But, on the other hand, that wasn¡¯t the first time I had to endure something like that. The only difference was that before I had Steph to help me and support me. Now I was completely alone.


    Instinctively I looked for her and found her sitting on Gabriel¡¯s desk. They were talking and she was smiling.


    I crossed that unwelcoming room as fast as I could and took my seat.


    ¡°You¡¯re the talk of the whole school!¡± Joanne informed me with disdain, her expression belonging to that smaller group of people that clearly disapproved of something I supposedly had done. ¡°Everyone¡¯s going around about how you spent last Wednesday with Michael Heaton doing only God knows what!¡± My lips parted wordlessly for a moment as my face flushed bright red. So that¡¯s why everyone was looking at me sideways. Somehow, someone had discovered our brief escape and blabbered about it. ¡°Is that why you two have been all secretive like that?¡±


    ¡°Joanne,¡± I started, trying to appeal to her understanding. ¡°It¡¯s not what you¡¯re thinking. We just went for a walk. I¡¯m not hiding anything!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right! You and her, you deserve each other!¡± she spat, signaling Steph with a movement of her head. ¡°I was only your friend while it was convenient to you. I guess I¡¯m no good anymore, now that you both have your little boyfriends and are popular and all! Well, you can keep them, for all I care!¡± she finished with a sneer and turned forward as our teacher entered the room.


    Steph returned to her seat, smiling happily, and sat down, ignoring the teacher¡¯s ironic rebukes.


    I watched her discreetly for a moment, just as I¡¯d done the day before, and was happy to see that she looked a bit more like the Steph I¡¯d always known.

 Chapter 12 - Part 2

    Part 2


    Although my friends received me and treated me like they usually did, the ogling and mute remarks accompanied me the rest of the day, whenever I stepped away from the protection of one of them.


    Still, I remained loyal to my everyday routine, deciding I wouldn¡¯t allow others to interfere with my life.


    Since we¡¯d promised to meet at lunchtime, I went to find Michael like always, although I went alone this time. Once outside the cold air felt good against my skin, and I took a deep breath. My eyes immediately found Michael¡¯s group at a distance. I could always find him, wherever he was, almost as if some kind of magnetic force instantly pulled me towards him. And so I went to meet him, eager for the peace and quiet I always felt in his presence.


    Steven was the first to notice me, greeting me with a welcoming smile. And when Michael turned to look at me it was as if the sun had finally dawned in my day. Lauren and Maggie, however, seemed even more displeased with my presence than before, or maybe they¡¯d just stopped hiding their true feelings. Francis looked around and behind me and, as he concluded I was alone, a broad smile shone across his face.


    ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t going to come,¡± Michael remarked, rapidly covering the space between us with two wide strides, and I took a step back to keep some distance between us. I was painfully aware I wasn¡¯t strong enough to simply avoid him as I knew I should, but if that was the case, then I¡¯d make sure to clearly maintain the line that marked our relationship as only friendship.


    ¡°I had to go and say something to Joe and the others. All this drama,¡± I added, wrinkling my nose in disapproval.


    ¡°They just don¡¯t have anything better to do,¡± Steven said, approaching us, looking somehow angry, almost fierce.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, Mari. I never wanted to make you go through any of this,¡± Michael told me with a sigh.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got nothing to be sorry about,¡± I countered, smiling up at his worried expression. ¡°I did chose to spend the day with you. Besides, nothing happened. We just went for a walk. Also, I couldn¡¯t care less about what other people say or think about me.¡±


    Steven placed a friendly hand on Michael¡¯s shoulder. ¡°And here you were, worrying about her! Mari is dealing with all this nonsense much better than you!¡± Steven told him critically and smiled at my inquiring expression. ¡°Just this morning I had to stop him from jumping two of our classmates.¡± Michael frowned, clearly displeased with Steven¡¯s report.


    ¡°Really?¡± I asked in disbelief and Michael folded his arms.


    ¡°My patience has its limits,¡± he explained defensively and I couldn¡¯t help stare dumbfounded at his disgruntled expression. It was almost impossible to imagine him getting angry, much less to the point of wanting to hit someone. Somehow it just was completely out of character. And then it hit me. All that was because of me.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°You mustn¡¯t, Michael,¡± I told him, feeling guilty. I had the most depressing sensation that since we¡¯d started hanging out together he¡¯d begun to slowly change, and not in a good way. And of course he would, I thought, despising my own existence. I was far from being considered healthy company. ¡°What does it matter what they all say? What matters is what we know it¡¯s the truth. That¡¯s good enough.¡±


    Steven patted him twice on his shoulder and winked. ¡°Exactly what I told him, right?¡± he inquired and Michael sighed, resigned. ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be going now, before Francis has a breakdown having to deal with those two on his own,¡± he said humorously, and turned to walk away.


    ¡°Steven!¡± I called out and he stopped to look back at me. ¡°I never got to thank you for what you did the other day. And I¡¯m sorry for ... my cousin¡¯s behavior,¡± I added, awkwardly, and he shrugged with a friendly smile.


    ¡°No worries. Michael explained it to me. It¡¯s all good,¡± he assured me and continued walking.


    ¡°Explained?¡± I asked, intrigued, and Michael smiled down at me, engulfing me in a soft wave of warmth.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell him much of anything,¡± he answered evasively and I decided to let the subject drop. ¡°Listen, Mari, about all this mess. I really ... ¡°


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. Like all the other rumors before, this one, too, will end up dying off. It¡¯s just a matter of time.¡±


    And we didn¡¯t talk about unpleasant things anymore. Michael lent me the book we¡¯d bought together and I asked him to forgive me, since I still couldn¡¯t lend him mine, like we¡¯d promised. I told him about Steph, how she still wasn¡¯t talking with me, almost as if she saw me as a threat to her relationship with Gabriel. And Michael suggested we could all go out together, hoping that it might help mend our friendship. I told him it was a good idea, knowing it would never happen for the most obvious reasons.


    I could hardly believe when the bell rang. Time had flown by unnoticed, like it always did when I was with him. We went back inside, as I silently basked in the warmth of his presence, and then I saw them, near the glass door; Stephanie and Gabriel, kissing. Michael, beside me, looked as shocked as I did, and we both stood there, nailed to the ground.


    I¡¯d forgotten how easily she could get close to him. She could even kiss him, just like that, while I had to always keep my distance under penalty of choking to death! But then I noticed it. He was slightly bending towards her, but his contribution towards that kiss ended there. His arms didn¡¯t hold her. His hands didn¡¯t touch her. Even his expression remained in that unmoving, unfeeling expression. Stephanie was the one doing all the hugging, her arms draped around his neck, pressing her beautiful body against his while kissing him passionately.


    I felt guilty again at the thought of the agreement we had reached. It was almost as if Steph had been right when she''d claimed I wanted him for myself. And I recalled what Lea had told me, about how he disliked the company of Human Beings because he found us too frail. I wondered if that was why he didn¡¯t touch her, if he was afraid of hurting her in any way.


    Finally, she released him, smiling teasingly, and locked her arm with his, pulling him towards the stairs.


    ¡°Well, it would seem they¡¯re really together,¡± Michael observed and only then I recalled his presence, standing right beside me.


    ¡°Ah, yes,¡± I answered, still bewildered, and Michael smiled.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s the hardest part? Your cousin having a girlfriend? Or your best friend having a boyfriend?¡± he asked playfully, but I was seriously worried. Now that I¡¯d seen it with my own eyes I couldn¡¯t deny it any longer, nor minimize the problem.


    ¡°My best friend dating my cousin,¡± I replied unthinkingly and walked to the stairs. I had to keep Gabriel away from her at any cost.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 12 - Part 3

    Part 3


    When the bell rang, announcing the end of another school day, Steph almost jumped from her seat, happily trotting towards Gabriel¡¯s desk. When I left the room they were still together, talking in low voices, in that kind of way that instinctively tells other people that they¡¯re not allowed to butt in.


    Unconsciously I grunted bitterly all the way home, rushing as fast as I could. I might as well take the advantage of having left school before him, I thought, since I still had to prepare myself for what was yet to follow.


    I noticed the strange silence as soon as I opened the front door. Usually Lea would be running to greet me even before I could turn the key. And so I entered, thinking of looking for him. I didn¡¯t have to go that far.


    My footsteps froze by the living room door and I tightened the hold around my books so I wouldn¡¯t drop them on the floor. He was already there! Calmly sitting on the armchair. If it weren¡¯t for his terrible presence, I¡¯d stupidly ask him how he''d gotten home ahead of me.


    Lea, in his cat form, rested on his lap, but as soon as he saw me, he immediately jumped to the ground, his bell tinkling loudly while he silently crossed the room to greet me. He rubbed his small black head against my legs and I looked down at him, faking a smile when he looked up with his bright, silver eyes. And then the small cat silently walked by me, strolling out the door and towards the kitchen. I leaned backwards to watch him go and then everything was silent, as he¡¯d simply disappeared.


    I found myself unwilling to return to my initial position, which would mean having to face him, and took a deep breath, slowly turning around. I was the one who¡¯d wanted that agreement and was sure he wouldn¡¯t think twice before undoing it should I try to make up with any excuses.


    Gabriel remained in the exact same position, sitting on the armchair, his head resting on one of his hands, watching me in silence.


    ¡°Is ... everything all right?¡± I managed to ask, kind of proud of that accomplishment even though my voice sounded too frail for my taste. I had the feeling I was becoming better at controlling the devastating effects his presence had on me.


    ¡±Yes. Why?¡±


    ¡°Lea, in that shape.¡±


    ¡°Only because like that it¡¯s easier for him to go unnoticed in your world. There aren¡¯t all that many Humans with silver eyes going around,¡± he explained, making sure he remained completely motionless.


    ¡°Can¡¯t he change his eye color, like you do?¡± I asked and his perfect lips stretched to a slight smile.


    ¡°No. In Lea¡¯s case the silver of his eyes is, let¡¯s say, his conscience and reason. If it ever happens that you see his eye color changing, I¡¯d advise you to run away, as fast and as far away as possible.¡±


    I didn¡¯t quite understand what he meant, but chose not to ask any more questions. I knew he didn¡¯t like it when I did it, and feared he might get angry and simply leave. In any other occasion, I wouldn¡¯t have minded it at all. Quite the contrary. But now leaving meant him going to look for Stephanie, and that I couldn¡¯t allow!


    He seemed to notice my strategy and smiled again, looking amused. With crazily slow movements, he raised his head, straightening his back, and intertwined his hands in front of his chest, which made him look even more intimidating.


    ¡°Stephanie asked me to spend the afternoon with her,¡± he announced and I decided not to let his words bother me. ¡°I refused, as we agreed.¡±


    ¡°That makes two of us then,¡± I responded, squeezing the books against my chest. ¡°I should be with Michael right about now,¡± I added and he smiled coldly.


    ¡°Really? And are you sure this is worth the sacrifice?¡± he asked, sarcasm seeping out of his words.


    ¡°You tell me. After all, by being here I may very well be delaying the fulfillment of our Contract.¡±


    He laughed, his deep voice filling the room, and I stood pinned to the ground, not knowing if that was a good or bad sign in my situation.


    ¡°When you actually manage to say what you¡¯re thinking you¡¯re quite interesting,¡± he said, appreciatively. ¡°So? What do you propose we do to occupy my time?¡±


    I was speechless. Hadn¡¯t thought about that, focusing all my energies on getting ready to face and withstand his menacing presence. In fact, I¡¯d never been all that successful when it came to planning funny or entertaining activities for normal people, let alone what to do about demons. Those kinds of things were right down Steph¡¯s alley.


    My brain sped frantically in search of something to suggest and my gaze stopped over the book I carried in my arms, on top of my schoolbooks and notebooks.


    ¡°I¡¯ll ... read for you,¡± I told him, unsure if that was such a good idea after all, and waited. Waited for him to laugh in my face or to get mad at the insignificance of my proposal. Maybe he¡¯d think I was mocking him. But the truth was that I couldn¡¯t think of anything else.


    ¡°Very well. I¡¯m all ears,¡± he said to my surprise, even shock.


    Gabriel leaned back, as if making himself more comfortable, and I stood there, not knowing what to think, much less what to do. He¡¯d accepted it?


    I looked around me as if I was seeing the room for the first time, worrying about keeping my distance, and ended up giving a single step forward so that I could sit on the floor, leaning against the wall, right beside the doorway.


    ¡°What? You¡¯re sitting there?¡± he asked, peering at me curiously, and I put my stuff on the floor, holding the book with shaky hands.


    ¡°You want me to read it out loud, right? Any closer and I won¡¯t even be able to do that,¡± I added dryly.


    Since he didn¡¯t seem to have any other ironic remarks to make, I opened the book to the first page and took a deep breath. The sweet scent that emanated from its new, white pages calmed me down immediately and I started reading.


    It didn¡¯t take me long to understand I¡¯d chosen the perfect activity. Being a book-lover from birth, after the first three or four pages, I almost completely forgot his presence, diving headlong into the story. My hands stopped shaking, my heart returned to its normal rhythm and even my voice became clearer and firmer. Of course, deep down, something kept nagging at the back of my head, insisting on keeping me alert, telling me that sitting there was far from being a safe thing to do. But those were things I could easily ignore by focusing my attention on the images my mind created as I kept reading.


    I¡¯d just started on the seventh chapter when Lea¡¯s bell cut me off, breaking the spell and dropping me back into bitter reality.


    The kitten entered the room running and jumped on his lap. I saw them exchange a long look in what appeared to be some kind of communication, and he groaned when Lea jumped back to the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I have to go,¡± he announced and I blinked, confused, unable to sort my thoughts.


    ¡°Go?¡± I repeated and frowned, displeased with the idea.


    Now that I thought about it, who could ever guarantee me that he wouldn¡¯t run back to Steph whenever I wasn¡¯t looking? Even at night he could do it, I thought. After all, that was only an agreement, not a Contract. And there was no Law that could stop him from breaking it.


    He smiled lightly, his almost sad expression making me feel guilty for my own thoughts, as if he could¡¯ve read them and, somehow, felt aggrieved by their doubtful nature. I immediately scolded myself, making sure I was firmly reminded of what he was and that I had all the reasons in the world to doubt his word.


    ¡°Something came up that I have to take care of. It won¡¯t take long,¡± he informed and I couldn¡¯t help feel suspicious. ¡°Should I be back in time for dinner?¡± I stared back at his calm expression that simply waited an answer, as if the question were of no consequence to him. I rapidly calculated all the possibilities. The uncertainty ate at my lately too tender stomach. His indifferent demeanor wasn¡¯t giving me any leads about what would be a correct answer.


    No, I thought. That was my answer. I could already see where that agreement of ours would lead me. There wouldn¡¯t be a single moment left in my day when I wouldn¡¯t have to be tormented by his presence.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I answered and, surprisingly enough, my reply seemed to be to his liking.


    ¡°Until then,¡± he simply told me and disappeared within that magical rain of small dark glitter that left the armchair sparkling for a few moments, until it all disappeared.


    I took a deep breath and Lea climbed on my legs, licking my face. I laughed lightly, caressing his black fur, and my hands were immediately gray and dirty.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I scolded. ¡°Where have you been again?¡±


    The kitten bent his pointy ears back, escaping my disapproving gaze as he tried to run from my hands, but I quickly grabbed hold of him. ¡°Bath, young man!¡± He meowed loudly, surprising me since I¡¯d never heard him meow before, but not enough to make me release him. ¡°Yes, bath! And change shapes! It¡¯s much better when I can actually understand what you¡¯re saying.¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    His body began to glow and stretch and, just a few moments later, a small, naked boy was sitting on my lap.


    ¡°Do I have to?¡± he asked me pleadingly and I frowned at the grayish smudges all over his skin.


    ¡°But where have you been? I¡¯m even doubting that one bath will be enough. You¡¯ll probably need at least three!¡± I argued and he pouted, but still I wouldn¡¯t be swayed.


    Just as before I had to practically drag him to the bathtub, where I scrubbed him as good and thoroughly as it was humanly possible.


    After helping him get into his pajamas and brushing his soft hair, it was my turn to take over the bathroom. When I went back to my room Lea was sprawled on my bed, flipping the pages of one of the illustrated books from my childhood.


    I smiled at his satisfied expression and went to sit by him.


    ¡°This book is very interesting,¡± he told me, eyes alight with enthusiasm, and I had to try hard to keep my smile at the sound of that word, the same he used so often, ¡®interesting.¡¯


    ¡°If you like it that much, I¡¯ll give it to you,¡± I answered and he looked up at me in disbelief.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Sure. It¡¯s yours,¡± I confirmed and Lea sat up, closing the book, and holding it tight against his chest.


    ¡°I know I shouldn¡¯t take it, but it¡¯s my first book!¡± he noted, looking conflicted, and I smiled at his child-like expression of someone who wanted something really bad, but, at the same time, wanted to be a good boy.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I assured him. ¡°You can keep it. Stay here while I start on our dinner,¡± I added, standing up, and he immediately jumped to the ground, landing with silent ease, too much ease for a child his size.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go with you.¡±


    He followed me downstairs, still holding on to his newest acquisition, and climbed on one of the chairs, placing his treasure on the table.


    I opened the fridge and realized a trip to the supermarket had to be scheduled for the nearest future. I took a box of chicken pies from the freezer and put them in the oven. Knowing he¡¯d be back any time soon completely erased my will and ability to concentrate on cooking. Even so, I decided to make some rice to go with the pies and washed some greenies for a salad.


    When I turned back I kind of expected to find Lea with his nose stuck in his new book, but he simply sat silently, watching me attentively, which made me feel as if I¡¯d just been caught red handed.


    ¡°This new agreement, it¡¯s not that I like it. But it also allows me to easily avoid the fulfillment of our Contract,¡± I clarified, taking my place at the table after setting the timer. ¡°This doesn¡¯t bother you?¡±


    ¡°Not anymore,¡± he calmly admitted.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because before there were things I still hadn¡¯t understood, and that I now understand. Right now, for me, the most important thing is keeping Master out of trouble.¡± He sighed and I smiled at the idea of that child trying so hard to protect him.


    ¡°Trouble like ... that thing with Steph?¡± I asked and he averted his gaze, a light frown marking his smooth forehead. ¡°I saw them together today. And I¡¯m not going to pretend that I liked what I saw, but, well, you yourself told me that he doesn¡¯t like being around Humans. But when I saw them together I couldn¡¯t help wonder if, maybe, he has feelings for her.¡±


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t!¡± he stated in a dry tone. ¡°As far as Master is concerned, she is just one more, among all the others. I know she is your friend and all, but the only reason he¡¯s dragging on this idiotic situation is you. Because she¡¯s your friend. I¡¯m sure he would completely ignore her if not for that.¡±


    ¡°Is he that cold? That unable to ... feel?¡±


    ¡°Of course not,¡± Lea replied, sounding almost offended. ¡°It¡¯s just that for us, being amongst you Humans is the same as you being amongst ... I don¡¯t know ... a population of penguins! You know? They¡¯re all different, but you just can¡¯t tell where or how. And, although you know they¡¯re all unique, they all just look the same, with a few exceptions,¡± he added and I stood up to take care of our salad. Was he referring to the reason why Gabriel had found me special? I didn¡¯t want to ask. Better yet, I didn¡¯t want to know the answer.


    ¡°Do you think that reading for him was a good idea?¡± I asked, changing the subject. ¡°I couldn¡¯t think of anything else. I still can¡¯t. I don¡¯t want him to get bored and use that as an excuse to go and meet her,¡± I confessed and Lea smiled gently.


    ¡°No, I think it turned out all right,¡± he said, although I was still unsure. ¡°I¡¯m serious. Your world is filled with things and costumes we don¡¯t know about.¡±


    ¡°When you say it like that, it almost sounds like having someone read out loud for you is something amazing or something,¡± I commented starting to set the table.


    ¡°You just can¡¯t imagine how,¡± he sighed with such a sad expression that I decided not to ask any further.


    The timer rang and I turned the off oven, leaving the door half opened. The rice was also almost ready, and yet no sign of him. I sighed in relief, wishing he wouldn¡¯t be on time to eat with us. Still, I set the table counting with him, just as agreed, even while I wished with all my strength that his place would remain empty. Sure enough, my wishes were in vain.


    As soon as I turned off the stove he knocked on the door, making his presence noted. I jumped, startled, and burned myself on the pot, which made me stick my finger in my mouth while cursing under my breath. When I finally managed to gather enough courage to turn around, I noticed he remained exactly where I¡¯d imagined him to be, standing against the door-frame, watching me in silence.


    I took a deep breath, carefully taking the pot off the stove and placing it on the table. This was nothing new for me, I recalled with a self-reprimand. It wasn¡¯t the first time I had dinner sitting at the same table as him.


    ¡°Master! Look what Mari gave me!¡± Lea announced, absolutely radiant as he raised his book, and his small, childish voice brought me some measure of comfort.


    ¡°Good for you, Lea,¡± he commended and I almost dropped the pies. I couldn¡¯t resist taking a peak at him, knowing beforehand what I¡¯d find. And, once more, I was completely lost in his warm, soft smile that perfectly matched his tone of voice. He only showed that expression to that child, and I felt angry at myself for allowing it to soothe the loathing and resentment I usually felt for him.


    I placed the pies on the table, stealing his attention, and his smile disappeared immediately as his expression returned to that cold stone indifference.


    I turned my back on him, to fetch the salad, and Gabriel took his usual place, slowly dragging his chair before sitting down. My hopes of a peaceful dinner were completely shattered and I mentally prepared myself to survive the next hour or so.


    I took my place, trying to avoid unnecessary silent and awkward moments, and asked for Lea¡¯s plate, since his arms were too small to reach the center of the table. Gabriel followed my lead and took two hot fuming pies. Lea stared at the food before him with bright eyes and, grabbing his fork and knife, ravenously dug in.


    I smiled at his happiness, at his amazed, delighted expression as he took the first bite, and thanked for his presence from the bottom of my heart. Right then, that small boy with black hair and bright eyes was my real savior.


    Lea was the only one who spoke during the entire dinner, sharing with enthusiasm the common, everyday things he¡¯d seen. Like how our neighbor had walked his dog early in the morning. Or how the boy next door had fallen from his bike.


    I just smiled, understanding that those little things made up his entire world. Lea rarely left the house and, when he did, he did it as a cat, not as a boy. And the world he saw through his feline eyes was the world of cats, not the Human world.


    Gabriel listened attentively, sometimes asking for details between exclamations of surprise and disbelief, almost as if those insignificant things really interested him.


    And so, thanks to Lea, dinner went by quicker than I¡¯d dreaded. When we finished he stood up as slowly as he¡¯d sat down and called Lea, taking him with him as he left. The slowness of his every move irked me once again. I hated the feeling of him granting me any favors!


    I quickly tidied the kitchen and stood before the sink, trying to gather enough courage to face him yet one more time that evening. There was something I still needed to clarify, although I¡¯d much rather run up to my room and call it a night.


    Gabriel sat on the same armchair as that afternoon, holding Lea¡¯s book with a surprisingly interested expression. I looked around the room but didn¡¯t find the boy anywhere, which made my heart beat even more wildly; and which was plainly stupid, I frowned. It was almost as if in my mind Lea¡¯s presence could, somehow, protect me from him. When I knew all too well that Lea would never oppose him, much less in my defense.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Lea?¡± I still found myself asking, although my voice broke down half way. Now I knew I must have been insane, going there on my own, when I could have stayed safely in my room.


    ¡°He¡¯ll be right back,¡± he told me, apparently too engrossed in his reading to raise his head.


    In any case I might as well not waste the effort of having to stand there and get on with it, asking what I''d went there to ask, I thought.


    ¡°I have a question,¡± I announced, and wished he wasn¡¯t in the mood to answer, which would give me the perfect excuse to leave earlier than expected. As always, my hopes were all in vain, and I almost forgot how to breathe when he put down the book, raising his head to face me.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°What you said yesterday, about the time limit,¡± I tried to sort through my chaotic, increasingly panicking thoughts. ¡°You said it all depended on me.¡±


    ¡°True.¡±


    ¡°Which means that ... if I can¡¯t make it, this situation will be dragged on forever,¡± I concluded, making sure I breathed in and out at equal intervals, and he seemed to ponder for a moment.


    ¡°Until you¡¯re able to do it? Sure.¡±


    ¡°But what if I could do it now! How would you fulfill your part?¡± I questioned and his dark eyes widened as he watched me in surprise. ¡°It¡¯s not like you could do it, right? At least not without having to break our Contract.¡±


    He laughed lightly and I felt my anger start to boil. Now he was clearly making fun of me. Again! Which made me wonder if he was taking any of that seriously, or if it was all some kind of joke to him.


    ¡°What does it matter? I know you can¡¯t do it,¡± he stated with such a smug grin and I couldn¡¯t help frown.


    ¡°Why? It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never done it before, right?¡± I asked in my defense. ¡°That mark, on your chest!¡± He placed a hand over the exact place and smiled briefly.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. Why don¡¯t you do it again then. I give you my word, I won¡¯t move an inch, just like before,¡± he challenged me, still mocking me, and I swallowed hard.


    ¡°Even if I do it, you still won¡¯t be able to keep your part without hurting Steph!¡± I accused and he smiled coldly, his voice dropping to a deep, velvet murmur.


    ¡°Let me worry about that. Come ... come to me.¡±


    I squeezed my hands into two tight balls and clenched my teeth, keeping my breathing under control. I told myself that there was no reason why I shouldn¡¯t be able to do this! Besides the time I¡¯d kissed his cold, soft skin, in the last few weeks I¡¯d walked beside him more than once, close enough to fulfill his present demand.


    However, just like that day near the tree where we¡¯d sealed our Contract, my feet dragged unwilling through the wooden floor, my knees trembling. He smiled ironically as I took my first step and kept watching me, unmoving and silent. It took me a few minutes to manage to take another step forward and, by then, my heart drummed painfully against my ears, leaving me deaf and gasping for air, as if I carried a ton of leather inside my chest.


    ¡°Do you want to know the difference?¡± he asked, sounding disappointed, and I wanted to cry out in frustration when my foot terminally refused to take another step forward. ¡°In all the other times, my will overpowered yours. Not completely, sure, but enough. You¡¯ll never be able to overcome your fear of me without my help,¡± he stated without the shadow of a doubt and I focused all my strength and willpower on moving just one foot, but to no avail. ¡°You must be the smartest Human Being I¡¯ve ever known. You instinctively know what¡¯s best for you. Unfortunately, that displeases me greatly,¡± he added, lowering his voice, and the air became heavier as his eyes gleamed menacingly. In a split second I quickly stepped back the two steps I¡¯d so painstakingly managed to take, and then some more, as I made the mistake of forgetting to keep my breathing under control.


    ¡°Good night, Mariane,¡± I heard him wish in a tone that sounded more like a veiled threat, and all I could do was spin on my heels and run away from there as fast as I could.

 Chapter 13

    Chapter 13


    ZEN


    ¨C Tiphereth. - The King¡¯s Chamber.


    The Vision of the holy Guardian Angel.


    The Instruction concerning the Obtaining of the Vision and the Voice of the Thirty Aethyrs.


    The Preparation of the Candidate.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°And so, slowly, something dies inside me every night, and something new is born every morning.


    And although I remain the same, everything changes.


    Just like an intense scent that fills the air but, as one gets use to it, becomes undetectable.


    And yet, the scent that in the beginning wasn¡¯t there, now clearly fills the air ...¡±


    In the following days a new routine was established, one that managed to make my life considerably more hellish than it had been before, if that could even be possible.


    Stephanie¡¯s cold shoulder and Joanne¡¯s silent treatment went on till the end of the week, making classes even more boring than they used to be.


    The critical comments about Michael and me kept following me everywhere I went, and I tried as hard as I could to ignore them, in hopes they¡¯d be gone during the weekend.


    Steph and Gabriel hung out together every recess, talking in secret and laughing together as if they existed in a world of their own. It was hard to believe that, for him, all those smiles were nothing but a well-performed act, and seeing them together annoyed me deeply.


    The only relaxing moments I enjoyed were during lunchtime when I sat with Joe and the others in the cafeteria. When I was with them, there were no critical expressions or under the breath muttered insults, and, since Gabriel wasn¡¯t present, no tensions or fears. Even so, those moments were too short. The other half of my lunchtime was reserved for Michael.


    With increasing sadness, I noticed that the happiness I¡¯d felt in his presence was now practically gone. Besides the dark, ugly stain that was the secret of the Contract I¡¯d accepted, now there was this new agreement that forced me to weave lie after lie. It was as if, somehow, I was betraying his trust, and the constant excuses and plots to escape him were beginning to wear me out. His understanding smile, even when it was obvious he knew I was lying, made me feel even guiltier. My constant refusals to go out, or even spend any amount of time alone with him, made me feel like I was the worst girl on the face of the Earth. It was as if I had wanted him and, now that he was almost mine, had changed my mind. Above all, I didn¡¯t want to hurt him; not Michael, who had already been through so much and, in an act of trust, had allowed me inside his defenses.


    My emotions were in constant conflict, as I frequently had to choose between what I really wanted and what had to be done. Quickly enough Lea became my only sanctuary and, when I finally became aware of that, I couldn¡¯t help laugh at myself like a deranged woman. Surely I was going insane, if my only safe port keeping me from completely losing my mind was a demon.


    By Friday I was faced with another of those decisions ¡ª what to do during the weekend. Going once more against my will, I¡¯d told Gabriel we¡¯d spend it together, which suspiciously enough had left a pleased smile on his perfect face.


    That night I hardly got any sleep, even though Lea was peaceful sleeping beside me. I ransacked my brain in search of something that might keep him busy for two whole days, knowing that failing to do so would mean him leaving in search of other ... diversions.


    Lea, beside me, turned in his sleep and wrapped his small arms around my arm, snuggling happily, and then I recalled what he¡¯d told me. My world was full of things they didn¡¯t know. If that was the case, maybe I didn¡¯t need to try and come up with anything too amazing. Lea had been fascinated with our neighbor¡¯s everyday activities. And so I decided I wouldn¡¯t kill my mind over it any longer, and that when morning came I¡¯d simply put together a small tour around London.


    That morning, when I shared my plans for the trip with Gabriel he didn¡¯t seem all that enthusiastic about it, which left me apprehensive. But then Lea was jumping excitedly up and down on his chair, since he¡¯d obviously been included in my tour day, and he finally ended up agreeing.


    We left after breakfast and I guided them towards the bus stop, aware that I was the only one who actually needed that kind of transport. Gabriel kept his distance all the way, his white hands tucked inside his jacket. Lea wore a pair of small sunglasses with colorful fishes designed on the frames to hide his silver eyes. He walked beside me, holding my hand, his curious head turning here and there as he watched everything with exaggerated wonder and interest.


    When our bus finally arrived, I had to explain to him everything his eyes gawked upon, be it inside or outside the bus, and soon enough people around us were eyeing him with amused expressions, as he constantly pointed his little finger, excitedly asking ¡®What¡¯s that?¡¯ or ¡®What does it do?¡¯


    I practically thanked the heavens when we finally reached North Greenwich. His never ending curiosity had embarrassed me more than once, especially when his small finger shot straight up at someone¡¯s face, asking out loud about the things people wore. However, my peace was short lived since next was the subway. More than once I saw Gabriel muffle a laugh or listen attentively to one of my explanations, and I painfully started to wonder if that tour had really been such a good idea.


    Lea kept me successfully occupied during the whole trip and when we finally arrived at Trafalgar Square I was already dead tired, even though my day had hardly begun.


    ¡°What now? Where are we going?¡± Lea asked, anxiously looking around, and I smiled at his sunglasses that reflected my own image.


    ¡°Now we walk,¡± I answered. ¡°We¡¯ll go to St. James¡¯s Park and then down towards the river, so we can see Big Ben.¡± I dared to look at Gabriel, who kept his distance from us. His face showed neither displeasure nor boredom, which made me feel more confident about my plan as I guided them through downtown¡¯s old streets.


    Lately I¡¯d been noticing that my ability to control and ignore my physical reactions to his presence had slightly improved. I still remembered quite painfully that, in the beginning, I could hardly even talk to him. Now, as long as I kept a safe distance, I could easily strike up what could be considered a normal conversation. Even so, and although I persistently tried every night, I still hadn¡¯t been able to take more than four steps in his direction, I recalled bitterly. With a great deal of disgust, I saw myself having to consider the probability he might be right, and that I¡¯d probably never be able to do it, unless he imposed his will over mine.


    My idea of crossing St James¡¯s Park seemed right on the mark. Lea was absolutely ecstatic, running in front of us, smelling flowers, trees and grass alike. Maybe it was because we were surrounded by green, and the air was cold and clean, but I noticed I was feeling more at ease as part of the anxiety that constantly left me in a grueling state of alert started to dwindle.


    Gabriel kept his wide, slow pace, hands tucked inside his pockets. Sometimes Lea would run up to him, pulling him towards a tree or plant that, incomprehensibly, he¡¯d considered worthy of a special attention. Gabriel always followed him, smiling patiently, gladly listening to what the boy had to say. Almost like father and son, I thought, and shuddered at the notion that suddenly, amongst all that green, he looked almost Human.


    When we reached the other side of the park I turned east down Great George Street. We took a small detour north and, after a few more steps, were standing before the stunning architecture of the Westminster Cathedral.


    Lea stopped with his mouth wide open as he tilted his head backwards to look up at the tall tower, and I couldn¡¯t help laugh, running a hand through his soft hair.


    ¡°You¡¯ve never been here?¡± I wondered, as it was kind of hard to believe, and he shook his head, still staring upward.


    ¡°This is the first time I¡¯ve ever been to this city and I still hadn¡¯t left Lewisham,¡± he confessed and I peaked at Gabriel sideways. He too seemed to be captivated by the imposing neo-Byzantine construction.


    ¡°Want to go inside?¡± I asked, smiling, and Lea finally straightened his head to look up at me through his mirrored sunglasses.


    ¡°Inside? I¡¯d like to, but can¡¯t,¡± he answered and I stared back at him, unable to understand until it suddenly hit me.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s a church?¡± I inquired in bewilderment. Things like that, that reminded me of his true nature, always left a bitter taste in my mouth.


    ¡°Not quite.¡± It was Gabriel¡¯s deep, velvet-like voice that responded, launching a shiver down my spine, and I raised my head to face him. He was still contemplating the cathedral, his dark gaze carefully going over every detail of the intricate stone patterns around the doors and windows. ¡°At least not because of any of the reasons crossing your mind. It¡¯s not because it¡¯s the House of God, or because we fear some kind of divine punishment. If forces like that were really present in this world, and if things were as you think they are, we¡¯d all been extinct by now,¡± he had with a sarcastic smile and slowly turned his gaze towards me. ¡°When Lea says he can¡¯t go inside, it only means that it¡¯s best if he doesn¡¯t. Even though God isn¡¯t actually living inside those walls, it¡¯s not without reason that you Humans consider these kinds of places as places inhabited by good. And that¡¯s because many of these temples and churches of yours are actually meeting places for the beings you like to call angels.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help staring at him in disbelief. He¡¯d actually taken the time to try and explain something, instead of telling me it didn¡¯t concern me. More importantly, I¡¯d just heard him say the word angels! And the existence of those celestial beings was something that I''d just recently had come to terms with. Thus, the possibility of an angel actually being somewhere inside that huge church was simply staggering. And then I was suddenly aghast at myself! Amid everything that had happened lately I¡¯d practically forgotten my main objective ¡ª getting rid of him! And I couldn''t avoid thinking that an angel would probably be able to defeat him and send him away for good!


    He smiled all-knowingly, as if he¡¯d just listen to my thoughts, and turned towards the arched entrance.


    ¡°Going inside and meeting one of them would probably turn out rather messy,¡± he added, now almost threateningly, and I recalled what Lea had told me about him belonging to the most powerful caste among the Deiwos. ¡°But you may go if you wish. And who knows? Maybe one of them might actually listen to your prayers and decide to help you.¡± His voice was now dark and cold, and Lea looked up at me, apprehensively.


    Hot, molting anger flowed through my veins and I held Lea¡¯s hand, raising my head to face Gabriel.


    ¡°That¡¯s not why I came here!¡± I declared. ¡°I can do that when and wherever I want to! There are plenty of churches lying around!¡± I declared, wanting him to understand that I didn¡¯t need his permission to do as I pleased, not knowing why his cold remark had bothered me so, and I deliberately walked away with a thundering step from what might had been my salvation, taking Lea by his hand.


    I noticed has he followed us with his deep stare, first surprised, then obviously amused, and I felt even more annoyed at the knowledge he was having fun at my expense.


    We turned towards Millbank and Lea was once again awestruck, this time by the imposing vision of the Houses of Parliament. His interminable questions were far from being compatible with my sulking, and so I tried to answer him to the best of my knowledge.


    Big Ben, on the other hand, gave way to a much more uncommon discussion, due to the never-ending chain of ¡®whys¡¯ that came from the need of planting such a huge clock in the middle of the city. As I¡¯d come to understand over the last few days, time, and the implicit need to abide by it, was a concept that stood all too far from Lea¡¯s grasp. And, once more, I caught Gabriel smiling at my frustrating attempts to explain it to him.


    To my relief, as soon as we reached Westminster Bridge, Lea¡¯s attention strayed from all those ¡®whys¡¯ and set itself on the Eye of London, proudly standing on the South Bank of the River Thames.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go there! Please, let¡¯s go there!¡± he begged, pulling my arm as he jumped up and down excitedly, and his sunglasses ended up jumping from his face, sliding across the pavement.


    ¡°Fine! Just stop that!¡± I hurriedly replied, hugging him and trying to hide his face against my legs, worried that someone might be staring at us. But no one had even noticed Lea¡¯s excited dance. Everywhere tourists crossed the bridge back and forth, taking pictures of Big Ben and the view of the river from the bridge.


    Gabriel silently held out Lea¡¯s glasses and, although the length of his arm marked the distance between us, my hand was still shaking when I reached for them. I squatted down, taking that chance to escape his gaze, and returned Lea¡¯s sunglasses to his face.


    ¡°Try not to lose them,¡± I advised and he gave me a mischievous smile.


    ¡°Can we really go?¡± he pleaded and I sighed once more, trying not to think too hard about what that would mean.


    ¡°Um, I guess. But aren¡¯t you hungry?¡± I asked, hoping that would lead his thoughts in other, safer directions, and to my relieve it was as if I¡¯d just uttered a magical spell.


    We didn¡¯t sit or eat in the conventional way. From the moment I reminded Lea of that other matter, every time we passed by a supermarket, pastry or coffee shop, he¡¯d run inside, searching with an eager expression for snacks he hadn¡¯t yet tried. I felt bad by how much all those expenses would weigh on my mother¡¯s credit card and guiltily promised myself to restrain my personal expenses till the end of the month. Besides, Lea looked so happy gulping down cakes, ice cream and sandwiches made of the strangest things that I could hardly bring myself to thwart his pleading expression as he pointed out yet another piece of cake.


    Gabriel never asked for anything, although I ended up getting something to eat in one of our stops. But Lea never asked for something that he wouldn¡¯t immediately share with him, making him bite here and there, his evaluative expression every time he tried something new almost making me laugh more than once.


    Those were all things quite out of character for him, I thought, just like the tender expression he showed on his face every time he caressed the kitten¡¯s fur. Those little acts stood on the completely opposite of his usually cold, cruel and distant personality. Above all, those were all expressions only that child could call upon. And I couldn¡¯t help wonder how different things would have been if he''d always act like that.


    When we finally reached the London Eye, many stops and dozens of questions later, it was almost four in the afternoon.


    I took a deep breath and sat down on some nearby stairs, smiling while Lea ran and jumped all over the place.


    ¡°It¡¯s so big!¡± he exclaimed, opening his arms wide as if he wanted to compare measurements. Gabriel leaned against a wall and crossed his arms while watching the giant Ferris wheel.


    My feet hurt and I was exhausted. We¡¯d walked nonstop since morning and the lack of any signs of fatigue from either of my two companions only made me more resentful.


    ¡°Can we go on one of those?¡± Lea insisted, pointing his small finger towards the passenger capsules that looked almost insignificant from where we stood, and I made myself smile at his request, not wanting to ruin his enthusiasm. Not that it wasn¡¯t something I hadn¡¯t already expected and, for that reason, had enough time to consider and picture. But still, just imagining Gabriel and myself inside one of those small compartments, with nowhere to run to, made me shiver.


    ¡°Why go on one of those things when you can simply appear up there?¡± Gabriel asked and Lea pouted.


    ¡°But it¡¯s not the same!¡± he protested. ¡°Because Mari won¡¯t be with me!¡±


    His justification caught me completely off guard and, by his lack of response, Gabriel as well. I felt my cheeks heat up and stood up not wanting either one of them to notice.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, then!¡± I decided, feeling awkward by my own embarrassment, and turned towards the ticket booth. ¡°Coming, Lea?¡± I asked, knowing how he enjoyed taking part in those small things, but the hand I¡¯d stretched in his direction remained empty. I looked back, inquisitively, and saw him standing, suddenly too quiet, all excitement and happiness drained from his face. ¡°Lea?¡± I called, worried, taking a step towards him, but the sudden weight that surrounded us made me freeze in place. My head instinctively turned towards Gabriel, and I saw him raise his head, as if to smell the air, his dark eyes coming ablaze with that frightening crimson glow, making me take two steps back.


    ¡°Lea, take her home,¡± he simply commanded in that indifferent tone that, in reality, could not be disobeyed.


    I felt confused, fighting the effects of his sudden intense presence, and looked at Lea in search of answers. Suddenly everything had changed.


    ¡°But Master,¡± Lea protested, sounding worried and unwilling to obey his request, but Gabriel¡¯s burning gaze made him lower his head, as if he felt sorry for having questioned his command.


    ¡°I¡¯ll meet you there,¡± he promised, this time in a softer, more reassuring tone and, before my still puzzled look, he turned his back on us and walked away. The speed of his movements left me utterly stunned and too aware of just how much he usually restrained himself around me. Before I could even sort out my thoughts, he was already gone, disappearing among the people walking by us. I stood there completely lost, until Lea¡¯s small hand on mine brought me back to reality.


    ¡°Come. We have to go,¡± he told me with a serious tone, towing me in the opposite direction, and I focused on following his footsteps that, for someone as small as him, almost made me run.


    ¡°Where are we going?¡± I asked, noticing we were going back towards the bridge.


    ¡°Home, like Master said,¡± he replied without even turning to look at me. I couldn¡¯t help shiver, noticing he''d put away his childish manner, simply concentrating on obeying Gabriel¡¯s command.


    ¡°What happened?¡± Where did he go?¡± This time he didn¡¯t answer, zigzagging between the heedless mass of tourists filling the streets. ¡°Lea!¡± I called out in frustration, pulling his hand and making him stop for a moment, and he finally looked at me over his shoulder.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s that possible!¡± I objected. ¡°Everything was fine just a minute ago and then, suddenly, what happened?¡± He held my hand between his small ones, lowering his head enough to peer at me over his sunglasses.


    ¡°Please, Mari. The important thing, right now, is leaving this place, okay? And fast! We¡¯ll talk latter, okay?¡± he replied, obviously trying to reassure me, but his urgent tone betrayed the concern he was trying to cover up.


    ¡°Fine,¡± I conceded and decided I might as well help him. ¡°Come. There¡¯s a passageway leading to the subway on the other side of the bridge.¡± It was my turn to pull him by his hand.


    ¡°And we can take that subway?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t really matter, right? If all you want is to get out of here. We¡¯ll change lines later on.¡±


    He nodded, agreeing, and we tried to cross the bridge as fast as we could. We were almost all the way across, the subway sign already visible marking the Westminster station, when Lea suddenly stopped, making me stop as well. I looked down at him, a question bubbling in my lips, but his stiff, hard expression made my heart jump.


    ¡°Lea! Talk to me!¡± I ordered urgently, squatting before him to hold him by his small shoulders, and he draped his little arms around my neck.


    ¡°Pick me up.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Pick me up!¡± he repeated and I obeyed, raising him from the ground. ¡°There! Turn towards there,¡± he went on, pointing towards the river, and I did as he asked.


    ¡°What ...¡± I stopped myself when his light body began to glow and I immediately tried to hide him under my coat. ¡°Lea! What are you doing!¡± I demanded but it didn¡¯t stop that inhuman glowing.


    ¡°I¡¯ll have to leave you for a bit. Just keep going towards the subway.¡±


    ¡°But ...¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll meet you there, I promise.¡±


    It was the last thing he told me. Next his body was shrinking, and folding, until all that was left in my arms was a bundle of clothes. A small shape stirred from under the empty shirt and a black, swift shadow jumped from my arms, nimbly landing on the ground. The small cat didn¡¯t even stop to look back, quickly dashing towards where we¡¯d come from, his small bell tinkling over all the other noises, until I couldn¡¯t hear it anymore ... and I was left alone.


    I hurriedly folded his clothes so it would be easier to carry them, and picked up his empty shoes and socks that had fallen at my feet. I looked around for a second, worried that someone might had seen something, but, just as before, the people crowding the bridge only had eyes for the more eminent tourism attractions.


    Not knowing what was really going on, I decided I should probably do as I¡¯d been told. Something had clearly gone wrong and, suddenly, I didn¡¯t feel safe anymore, and all I wanted was to go back home, as Gabriel had initially instructed.


    I came down from the bridge to Parliament Street and anxiously waited for the traffic lights to change. A cold wind tousled my hair and I looked up at the sky. The practically non-existent clouds from that morning had tripled and now ran too fast, as if they too were trying to run away from something. My stomach knotted and I squeezed my hands together. I had to remain calm, I told myself, especially since I was mainly imagining things. I still didn¡¯t know what had happened, which meant the bad feeling coursing through my veins was nothing but the fruits of my vivid imagination. Maybe they¡¯d just left to do something, who knew? After all, I knew nothing about their strange world or about what drove them to take this or that action, nor did I want to know! Anxiously waiting, I cursed at the red traffic light that seemed to take forever to change.


    And then, suddenly everything was silent. I only noticed something was really, really wrong when the car that should have sped past me seconds ago remained in the same place.


    I held my breath as I slowly looked around and concluded I could only be hallucinating. I¡¯d finally gone mad, I thought, since there was no other possible explanation. The world, all around me, had stopped, as if frozen in time, from the cars before me to the smallest of leaves falling from a tree!


    An arm grabbed me by the waist, easily raising me from the ground, and a cold hand covered my lips, silencing my unthinking scream. The image of the frozen world blurred away, leaving me dizzy and sick to my stomach, and I desperately fought with all my strength against whatever it was that had grabbed me. Darkness enveloped me, making me unable to think coherently, and although I could hear other sounds, which meant that the illusion of that frozen world had disappeared, a much deeper, much darker madness took over my mind.


    ¡°Mariane! Breathe!¡± That voice. Not knowing how, my body immediately obeyed it and the burning in my chest, which I only now had noticed, started to slowly dissipate. ¡°That¡¯s it. Easy,¡± he whispered in my ear and I could feel his warm breath against my skin. The arm wrapped around my waist held me firmly against his body, and the cold hand over my lips trembled slightly. ¡°Hush ... calm down ... I am not going to hurt you,¡± he added, but his words didn¡¯t make any sense, my head pounding painfully. My wild eyes kept searching the darkness around me, panic drowning me in raving waves of fear, and then it was as if something deep inside me had simply broken, and the world around me became silent. Something wet and warm trickled down my cheeks, but my mind remained completely blank, as if I were no more than a windup doll that had finally come to a stop. All that was left were far away sensations, like his trembling hand over my lips and the sound of his deep voice. I heard him groan under his breath and his arm crushed me against his body even harder, almost as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn¡¯t unwillingly let go of me. Time and space escaped me and, what most probably were just a few minutes, seemed like an eternity. His soft sigh and the warmth of his breath broke the muteness in my ears and his cold, trembling hand finally released me. Even so, I only noticed he¡¯d let me go when he carefully dropped me on the ground, since I obviously couldn¡¯t stand on my own. The sound of a small bell told me we weren¡¯t alone, but, even though I commanded it with all my might, my opened eyes saw only darkness.


    ¡°Thank you, Lea. I¡¯ll take care of the rest. Watch over her and take her home.¡± I heard his velvet voice instruct and then silence, once again.


    I wondered if the world had stopped once more, and, when I tried to pinpoint exactly when that had happened, I simply couldn¡¯t find an answer.


    A small, warm hand was gently placed over my head, but for a moment I couldn¡¯t even tell if it really was my head he was touching.


    ¡°Mari? Mari! Can you hear me?¡±


    His voice came to me from very far away and my mind couldn¡¯t tell if I was dreaming or wide awake. Part of me insisted I was responsible for the concern in that child¡¯s voice, and my heart stirred telling me that I didn¡¯t want to be the cause of his pain. In what felt like an inhuman effort, I blinked, trying to make sure my eyes were really opened and, bit by bit, light started returning to my sight. The first thing I was able to see were his silver eyes, filled with unshed tears, and then his smile of relief as he realized I could see him.


    I looked around to see we were in what looked like a dark, narrow alley. And the surface under me was cold and hard. I raised a hand, unsure I could do it, and stared at it, doubting that it really belonged to me. I understood my brain had completely shut down, leaving me deaf, blind, mute and unfeeling, except to him, and ran a hand down my face, strangely wet by tears I didn¡¯t remember crying.


    As my mind became more aware, I was finally able to sort out my thoughts and recall the latest events, which led me to sit up too fast, making me dangerously dizzy.


    ¡°Take it easy,¡± Lea admonished me, holding me with his gentle but surprisingly strong hands. ¡°You can¡¯t just stand up like that.¡±


    ¡°What happened? What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°If you think you can stand, we better get going. We can talk on the way,¡± he told me and I looked around once more, feeling confused. The last thing I clearly remembered was standing by the sidewalk, waiting to cross a street, wishing the traffic light would change, and then ... then the world had stopped!


    ¡°We¡¯re near a church and a subway station. Master brought you here because it¡¯s safer,¡± he clarified, answering my silent question, and I leaned against the cold, damp wall to push my stiff body up until I could stand on my two legs. ¡°Come, this way,¡± he encouraged me, and I tried to follow him as fast as I could, taking into account my knees kept buckling with every step I gave.


    I could still feel the cold touch of his skin against mine, which made my stomach fold into a dozen knots. My chest hurt from the effort of having to breathe, and the evening light that poured all over the main street temporarily blinded me again.


    Lea walked ahead to guide me, constantly turning back to make sure I followed. His head looked like a wind vane, turning and peering in every direction, suspicious of everyone and everything, his quick small steps tense and alert. And, when we finally went down to the subway, he stood beside me, trying his best to support me.


    The dim lights of the underground brought some measure of relief to my throbbing head. I convinced myself as best as I could that I was feeling better and wasn¡¯t, in any way, going to attract any unwanted attention by falling or fainting in front of all those people.


    As soon as the subway car doors closed, Lea sighed in relief, releasing part of the tension he¡¯d accumulated, looking visibly tired. However, we didn¡¯t talk. The subway cars ran packed at that time of day, masses of people entering and exiting at every station, and all I could do was pull Lea into a corner, holding him against my legs so that he wouldn¡¯t be stepped on or dragged away by the human torrents.


    When we finally reached our destination and went back to the surface, the sun had already begun setting, the cool air making me shiver, but I was practically back to my usual self.


    Fortunately, we didn¡¯t have to wait long for the bus. I gave Lea his ticket and watched as he passed it through the machine; and couldn¡¯t help feeling sad as I recalled the curious happiness that had beamed on his face when he¡¯d done the same exact thing just that morning. Once more, in just a few hours, everything had changed. And now Lea wasn¡¯t smiling anymore, nor did he look like an excited child, and Gabriel wasn¡¯t with us.


    Lea took a seat near the window, just like before, and turned his attention to the progressively darker world outside. I immediately recognized his attempt to avoid my questions for what it was. But right then I just couldn¡¯t spare him. I needed answers, bad! And the time we¡¯d spent in silence up until then had only granted me enough time to calmly review all that had happened, giving me the chance to picture half a dozen or so worst case scenarios.


    ¡°Lea?¡± I called him and he clearly hesitated before turning to face me. ¡°What happened back there?¡± I asked, going straight to the subject, and my question was so predictable that he didn¡¯t even think twice before replying.


    ¡°What do you think happened?¡±


    It was almost as if we¡¯d practiced those lines for some kind of performance. I, too, had expected his answer and had decided to, from all the possible explanations, offer him the one that frightened me the most.


    ¡°We were attacked ... something attacked us.¡± I speculated. He watched me over his sunglasses, his silver eyes too serious and observant, and I knew he was trying to ascertain up to which point I¡¯d be able to handle the truth. ¡°One of you, a Deiwos, attacked us,¡± I clearly put it into words and was glad to hear how firm my voice had sounded.


    He seemed bothered by my ability to frankly say it, which was on its own a dreadful confirmation.


    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he confirmed it, releasing me from his evaluating gaze, and my heart jumped into a frantic run. Another one. Sure I didn¡¯t expect them to be the only two Deiwos walking the Earth, but did they all have to cross my path?


    ¡°Why? Why did he attack?¡± I questioned and Lea sighed.


    ¡°Because that¡¯s how it works. I can¡¯t really talk about that,¡± he added and I couldn¡¯t help feel frustrated for having reached his can¡¯t-talk-about-it limit so soon. So I looked for another question.


    ¡°What did he want?¡±


    ¡°He came for my Master,¡± he whispered heavily, looking outside apprehensively, as bright lights ran across his window. I didn¡¯t need to see his face to know that Lea was worried about him.


    ¡°From which caste?¡±


    ¡°Mazzikin. But his magic was really strong.¡± A former angel, I thought. I still couldn¡¯t understand. What could make an angel do something so terrible that would end up turning him into something like that?


    ¡°Did he went to kill him?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no other way. If he didn¡¯t, he¡¯d follow us home,¡± he explained and his defensive tone didn¡¯t go unnoticed.


    ¡°I could ask if there are more, but I¡¯m sure there are,¡± I guessed and he kept silent. ¡°Are they going to attack us, too?¡±


    ¡°No! No,¡± he reassured me, looking at me with an urgent expression, his small hands now cold, firmly holding mine. ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry, Mari. No one will hurt you! You¡¯ll be safe in Lewisham.¡± He was trying too hard to make me believe that, and I frowned. He¡¯d also said something like, hadn¡¯t he? That leaving that area wasn¡¯t safe.


    ¡°What do you mean? Why am I safe back at home?¡± I asked and Lea released me, averting his gaze once more.


    ¡°Master raised a barrier around the whole area of Lewisham. Nothing comes in or goes out without us knowing.¡±


    ¡°Barrier?¡± What was he talking about?


    ¡°Yes. It forms a kind of border around the areas you frequently go to and the closest areas surrounding them. It couldn¡¯t be a real barrier, because if it were not even Human Beings would be able to cross it. So it just keeps out all ... non-Human beings. It basically serves to conceal that piece of land, making it so that other Deiwos won¡¯t even be able to perceive its existence.¡± Although all that information had the clear intent to appease me, not knowing why, it only irked me even more.


    ¡°And since when has that barrier been there?¡±


    ¡°When I got here Master had already raised it. I suppose it was one of the first things he did.¡±


    ¡°I really ¡­ dislike that idea!¡± I confessed, frowning, and Lea looked up at me unable to understand.


    ¡°Why? It keeps us all safe, including your friends,¡± he argued and with reason, I had to admit.


    Recognizing the street we were turning to, I stood up and pressed the request-stop button. Lea followed my lead and we waited for the bus to come to a stop so we could get off.


    The night''s silence surrounded us as soon as the bus disappeared up the road, and the cold air made me stick my hands in my pockets. My chest still hurt whenever I took a deep breath, but everything else had gone back to normal. The cold wind lashing at my face seemed to make my thoughts clearer and I knew exactly why the idea of that barrier displeased me so much. After all, it was as if, once more, he''d been protecting me, doing something for me, making me feel as if I owed him something in return!


    As soon as I opened the front door, Lea rushed inside, rubbing his hands together and breathing on his small frozen fingers.


    I didn¡¯t waste time looking for him. I knew he still hadn¡¯t return. The house was silent and, as usual, I couldn¡¯t help notice the extreme difference his absence made. I could hardly believe I¡¯d lived my whole life immersed in such a calm environment!


    I went upstairs trying to silence the small and annoying voice inside my head that kept wondering if he¡¯d be able to defeat that fallen angel, and opened the door, stopping to look back at the small boy who, as always, had silently trailed behind me.


    ¡°I need some time alone, Lea,¡± I told him and he stared up at me, his silver eyes now released from the sunglasses that had hidden them all day.


    ¡°Why? Are you angry at me? Did I say something wrong?¡± he fretted in a single breath and I smiled for his benefit, caressing his soft, black hair.


    ¡°No. Nothing like that. I just need some time to think ... to put my thoughts in order, to go back to my own world for a few moments. I can¡¯t ... I don¡¯t want to get used to yours,¡± I told him and Lea lowered his head, looking dejected, but didn¡¯t say anything else.


    I closed the door behind me, feeling bad for his sad expression, but knowing I had done the right thing. Sometimes, more so of late, I¡¯d find myself thinking that all the craziness around me was normal; forgetting that, not very long ago, none of those things or strange creatures had existed in my life, the life that I wished to recover. Above all I couldn¡¯t allow myself to be dragged into other problems, straying from my own objectives.


    I took a deep breath and dropped like dead on my bed.


    Besides, what good would it do worrying about those kinds of things? This creature that attacked us was his problem, not mine. That barrier, too. I would put them both in the same bag, together with all the possible demons that might show up from then forth with the intent to kill him. And maybe he¡¯d really die, I thought, and I would be free from that Contract. And the problem with Steph would simply go away.


    Feeling too tired to even change, I told myself I should get some sleep. But my eyes refused to obey, my brain too agitated and alert. Annoyingly, I found my attention wandering towards the other rooms, looking for a sound, anything that would tell me he was back. I severely reprimanded myself for behaving as if I were expecting his return, and turned to the other side.


    Before I knew it my mind was once again deeply engrossed in conjectures and hypotheses, which annoyingly left me too anxious to sleep. Defeated, I decided to get up and occupy myself with other things. I turned on the computer and went about replying to my mother¡¯s e-mails.


    Everything was fine in Paris and she missed me beyond words. She wanted news about Gabriel and me. She insistently asked if I hadn¡¯t forgotten to pay the bills and if the money she regularly transferred to my bank account was enough. She still didn¡¯t know exactly when her flight back to London, for the Easter holidays, would be, but she was anxious to see me soon. As an attachment there was a photo of her, sitting in a sunny, bright terrace of a coffee shop. Her smile was radiant and I was happy to see she was really doing okay. The name of the photo was ¡®Saturday¡¯s Breakfast¡¯ and I downloaded it to my computer''s archive, where I kept the photos she¡¯d started sending with every e-mail.


    On a new window I described our tour day in London. I risked confessing that Gabriel knew very little of the city, not knowing exactly what kind of memories she had of a cousin that never existed to begin with. In the end it was a little like writing an essay for English Literature and I made sure to put in a little bit of everything, especially lots of fun and amazing things, to wrap it all up with a happy ending, where we¡¯d supposedly sat somewhere nice to have something to drink. I didn¡¯t add any photos, but shared my plans for the next day, which included going to the supermarket. I could easily compile all those e-mails and write a fiction novel about the life of a girl that had never existed, I thought. And so, my attempt to keep my mind otherwise engaged was quickly frustrated.


    The sudden change in the air made me jump from the chair. The intensity and pressure were so strong that, unwillingly, I even forgot to breathe for a split second, before darting out the door. I almost collided with Lea, standing in the corridor, as if he¡¯d stayed there since I¡¯d practically closed the door on his face. His wide silver eyes looked up at me in a mix of surprise and fear, but I didn¡¯t even gave him the chance to speak.


    ¡°Mari! Wait!¡± I heard him call after me as I flew down the stairs followed by the urgent sound of his bell.


    I stopped abruptly by the door, my uneven breath filling the room, and only then was able to question my poor judgment. What in the hell was I doing? But there he was, standing with his back towards me, his dark, silky hair falling like black shiny water below his waist line. He slightly raised his head and, in slow movements, turned to look at me over his shoulder. His violet eyes, still glowing with that red, menacing light, made my whole body tremble, and I squeezed my hands together trying to get a grip on myself.


    Lea pushed me and squeezed his small body between me and the door, tripping forward and immediately froze in place, right in front of me. I saw him look up at Gabriel and knew that even he felt unsure about how to proceed.


    Gabriel took a deep breath, as if the apprehension in that child¡¯s face had somehow alerted him to how truly menacing he looked, and when he opened his eyes again the red glow was gone. All that was left was the cold, sad violet that immediately regained Lea¡¯s smile and trust.


    ¡°Master! Welcome back!¡± he hollered, happily skipping across the room towards him, and Gabriel placed a pale hand over his head.


    ¡°Thank you, Lea,¡± he answered in a low voice and, somehow, the air around us became lighter.


    ¡°Are you hurt?¡± Lea went on, sounding worried, and he peered at his right shoulder. And I noticed, for the first time, the thin tears on his dark-blue shirt that, drenched in blood, stuck to his skin, covering up the wounds.


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing. It¡¯ll be fine in a few minutes,¡± he replied as if it were unimportant, but Lea didn¡¯t seem convinced, pulling him by his pants towards his usual armchair. Gabriel sighed, allowing that small hand to drag him, and sat down unbuttoning his shirt, while Lea perched himself on top of his legs. His perfect face winced in pain, which seemed to catch him by surprise, and his violet eyes stared down at his own hand, which was marked by deep red marks, even visible from where I stood.


    ¡°Are those burns?¡± Lea inquired, his tone sounding even more worried, and he went back to unbuttoning his shirt.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± he reassured him, but Lea held his hand on his, observing his burnt skin with a painful expression.


    ¡°They¡¯re so deep.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯ll be fine by tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°And the shoulder?¡±


    Gabriel allowed him to pull the sleeve of his shirt down and his gaze fell on mine for a brief moment, leaving me suffering from the pain of a virtual punch in the stomach.


    Lea carefully uncovered his bloodied shoulder, and I drew in a sharp breath, not knowing what had shocked me the most, if the four deep gashes that cut across his otherwise perfect skin or the bright red color of his blood that contrasted heavily with his paleness. Red blood like mine, like any other Human¡¯s blood. Somehow it bothered me, as if I had never admitted the possibility that what ran in his veins could be similar to what ran in mine.


    Lea sighed, finally sounding more relaxed, and he gave him a gentle smile.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you there was no need to worry?¡±


    The boy nodded and I felt lost. No need to worry? His open wounds were still bleeding!


    ¡°Oh, there¡¯s more here,¡± Lea noted, seeming committed to examine his entire body in search of more injuries, but his voice sounded unworried and light, almost amused.


    ¡°Mere scratches.¡±


    I squeezed my hands together even harder. Those scratches, although small and superficial, were clearly visible, reminding me of what had happened that afternoon, after the world had stopped. He¡¯d grabbed me and took me to that dark alley where my rational mind had been completely devoured by the horror of his proximity. Those scratches had been made by me, in my uncontrollable panic that, if not for his unmovable strength, had most certainly sent me running down the street, screaming like a mad woman, unaware of the danger I might have been in. And that pale hand, that beautiful, elegant hand now cruelly burned, was the same I¡¯d felt, cold, damp and trembling, over my lips. Strangely trembling, I recalled, because in that alley I hadn¡¯t been the only one shivering.


    And then his violet eyes were looking at me again, and I could almost swear, once more, that he¡¯d just read my thoughts.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± his low voice echoed through the room, making me avert my gaze. Suddenly I wished I could just run away.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like ... it was your fault,¡± I said, my voice almost inaudible, although I knew he could hear it perfectly. ¡°Well, of course it¡¯s your fault!¡± I immediately corrected. ¡°It was because of you that all those things happened. But ... what I mean is, it¡¯s not like it was your fault directly, right? You didn¡¯t wish for any of that to happen.¡± I ordered myself to shut up. I had the feeling I¡¯d been babbling, trying to explain something I hadn¡¯t been able to explain. Worse! That I had no obligation to explain! On other hand I should thank him, I thought. After all, he¡¯d saved my life ... again. And kept me safe on a daily basis. I clenched my teeth, now deeply angry at myself! I couldn¡¯t allow for things like this to change the way I saw him! ¡°If everything¡¯s fine, I¡¯m going to bed,¡± I simply announced and, at the lack of a response, and with the clear feeling I¡¯d already said too much, I turned around and almost ran upstairs, yearning for the fictitious sense of security I always had once hidden away behind my bedroom door.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 14 - Part 1

    Chapter 14


    TAN


    ¨C The Path of Lamed - The combination Gimel, Lamed, Samech.


    The Vision of the Justice or Balance of the Universe.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°Unavoidably, even in the most adverse of environments, even if the earth is sterile, life will lead its course.


    And, as violent as the world may be, no matter how much one wants the desert to remain sterile,


    there¡¯s nothing that can stop the small flower from blooming,


    and nothing that can stop her from useless trying to reach the blue bright sky forever out of her grasp.¡±


    Part 1


    Not surprisingly, I didn¡¯t sleep well at all, between fragmented dreams where I walked alone through London¡¯s deserted streets, the silence so completely absolute that I couldn¡¯t even hear my own footsteps. The feeling of utter loneliness and abandonment became painfully real, and I was reminded of a similar dream, one that had tormented me a couple of years ago, as a forewarning of my parent¡¯s eminent divorce. This time, however, I wasn¡¯t searching for some fleeting shadow that always seemed to elude me. Quite the opposite. Although I didn¡¯t run or scream, it felt as if I was instead running away.


    When the same dream returned for the fourth consecutive time, forcing me to wake up gasping for air, damp hair glued against my sweaty forehead, I finally gave up on the whole idea of going back to sleep, and decided to get up. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and hands and sighed at my depressing image, my grayish face making me look sickly.


    However, as I left the bathroom, my attention was drawn towards the stairs and, before I could realize what I was doing, I''d already descended the first few steps. Ignoring my ever-present, ever-alert inner voice, and trying to be as silent a possibly, I went on, my gaze flying towards the living room door that remained opened. For a moment I considered the possibility of no one else being home. The house was completely silent and nothing in the air denounced his presence. With careful, silent footsteps, I went to the door and peered inside.


    For a moment all I could see was darkness. But then, as my eyes grew more accustomed to the blackness, darker shapes started coming into existence, among which was a pale, almost luminescent figure that practically made me run back to safety. It took all my strength to rationally think about what I was seeing. He wasn¡¯t sitting in his usual place, but lying on the sofa, his back to the wall. His dark hair, still long, fell over his pale shoulder, sliding down over the couch towards the floor. He was bare-chested and somehow seemed too thin, even frail; his long arms folded, his elegant long hands abandoned near his perfect face. Lea, in the shape of a small cat, was curled into a black fur ball against his chest. Gabriel slept.


    That strange image was so far from the domineering force and unmovable strength I¡¯d felt the few times he¡¯d held me that I had to blink, making sure I wasn¡¯t dreaming or even hallucinating. Like he¡¯d assured Lea, his shoulder was completely healed and I found myself relieved to know that.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Standing there, I couldn¡¯t help stare at his perfect face, his expression now soft and calm. Sleeping like that, unmoving and free from the daunting presence of his cold, threatening gaze, he almost looked like what he pretended to be on a daily basis ¡ª just another teenage boy, the same age as the rest of us. For the first time I could easily associate him with the name Gabriel, which always sounded so fake, like a bad lie. Somehow, seeing him like this made me feel as if I was standing before someone very lonely, like he could be some lost boy, which didn¡¯t make any sense! Not knowing why, I could easily picture him sleeping just like that, all alone, somewhere far away, surrounded by cold, unfeeling darkness, year after year. Recklessly, I wished I could enter that room and touch his white face, or even his long, dark hair, just to show him that he wasn¡¯t alone, and that he wasn¡¯t in that dark place anymore, as if that could melt his cruel frozen heart, if only just a little.


    The alarm sounded too late in my mind.


    Had he been awake, his terrible presence would had never allow me to digress like that! The small, sharp pain that I had so successfully ignored up till now became stronger and frighteningly real. And once more I realized I was trying to escape reality, as if that would solve anything.


    The truth was, although I didn¡¯t want to admit it, and it made me utterly angry and frustrated to do so, I¡¯d felt truly relieved, seeing him return unharmed. I knew that, even though I had every reason in the world to do so, I hadn¡¯t really wished him dead. Sure he terrified me beyond reason. But, other than that, all the other reasons for his presence in my life, like the Contract I had been forced to accept, tended to progressively dilute themselves, slowly integrating my everyday life. Lately I had to try hard to constantly remind myself of my own situation and, had it not been for Steph¡¯s involvement in all that mess, which had made his true nature perfectly clear, I would have probably even forgotten to constantly keep that knowledge present in my mind.


    I couldn¡¯t deny he intrigued me, since I could never seem to understand his logic or predict his next move, and I felt curious about him, constantly wondering what he felt about my world. Maybe that was the reason why I''d started looking differently at him ¡­ the way I sometimes caught him, appreciating something that no one else stopped to appreciate.


    I didn¡¯t want to change! And yet I didn¡¯t know how to avoid it. Probably that sleeping face that mysteriously had been able to stir up my heart was proof enough I had no salvation.


    I went back to my room lost deep in thoughts that, although logical, were a confusing mixture of memories, conjectures and antagonistic feelings.


    I reminded myself of my everyday life, of my gray, dull routine, before he¡¯d shown up in my room, turning everything upside down. My other self had gone through life without leaving a single mark on the world, and without allowing anything else to come close enough to leave a mark on her. The only one able to make me feel awake, to bring a hint of color into my otherwise gray life, had been Michael, and so I had loved him. It had been inevitable.


    And suddenly, between the anguish, the pain, and the tears that I was never able to cry, my world was brimming with the most shocking colors, and foreign feelings vibrated all through my body, thoughts consuming me until I felt completely lost, until I couldn¡¯t understand anything anymore.


    I¡¯d been nothing but a shadow, yearning for and silently adoring a faraway light. Now the shadow was being dragged by a furious hurricane and, between the desperate attempts not to lose my precious light from sight, and all the others to keep escaping the darkness that threatened to swallow me whole, all I could do was keep fighting, trying not to drown inside of myself.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 14 - Part 2

    ¡°Hmm. What shall we have for lunch?¡± I asked.


    After spending the whole night turning and tussling without getting any real sleep until it was almost dawn, I¡¯d ended up waking up well past noon. However, and to my relief, Gabriel had stayed home and now sat in the living room, waiting for lunch.


    ¡°Let¡¯s see what¡¯s left in the freezer. I really have to take a trip to the supermarket today,¡± I muttered and Lea dragged a chair to my side, climbing on it to peer inside the freezing compartment.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± he asked, pointing to one of the few bags left and I grabbed it to look inside.


    ¡°Looks like steaks. I guess we can have these with some mushrooms. How about it?¡±


    ¡°And can we have fries? And that egg that looks like a sun?¡± His silver eyes shined like stars as I closed the door.


    ¡°Really, sometimes you¡¯re just like a Human child!¡± I pointed out, taking a clean plate from the cupboard.


    ¡°I am?¡± Lea asked, sounding intrigued, and I nodded.


    ¡°Yes, you are. Always happy with the smallest things.¡±


    ¡°Because they¡¯re all things I¡¯ve never seen before. They don¡¯t exist in my world, you know?¡± he added, now sorrowful, and I looked back at him.


    ¡°But you have all these amazing powers. Surely you can get a pizza or two if you want.¡± I disputed and Lea sat on his chair, his small legs dangling back and forth.


    ¡°Well, when I said my world, I wasn¡¯t really talking about the whole world. Only about the world I know. Of course things like that exist, I suppose. It¡¯s like you say. There are some very powerful Deiwos and I¡¯m sure they can get anything they want. But in my world, there¡¯s only darkness.¡±


    ¡°Are you talking about before you met him?¡± I asked, but Lea shook his head.


    ¡°No, before Master found me I hadn¡¯t even that. Only fear, and more fear. But then Master gave me this body, and I decided to stay with him. Maybe if I had left, I¡¯d end up seeing and trying many other things. But, since I didn¡¯t, I started living in Master¡¯s world.¡±


    I recalled the feeling I had last night as I watched him sleep.


    ¡°Darkness,¡± I muttered and he nodded sadly.


    ¡°Yes. And great empty halls with no windows, with no furniture, always silent. The only place filled with something is the library. Master has a big collection of books. He used to spend his days reading, sitting at this one table, by the light of a candle.¡±


    ¡°But why? I mean, he has so much power,¡± I wondered out loud and my inner alert sounded immediately, reminding me I was once again trying to pry into things that were none of my concern. After all, how could details like that mean anything to me? To better understand him? What for? If in the end all that united us was a simple exchange ¡ª my body for Michael¡¯s love.


    ¡°Things aren¡¯t that simple,¡± Lea was saying. ¡°There are many rules and the hierarchy must always be respected. And even amongst the strongest, there¡¯s always fear. That¡¯s something I learned. I always thought that only the weak are afraid. But even the strongest are afraid sometimes, and when they are afraid, their fear is even more intense than that of the weak ones.¡± His grown-up tone reminded me, once more, that that child was no child at all. ¡°Fear of dying isn¡¯t that bad at all. Fear of losing everything you have is much worse. And Master has always been feared by everyone, ever since he was a child.¡±


    That painful vibration echoed in my chest, almost as if someone had given a tug on the invisible threads that bound my heart, threatening to tear it to pieces. I couldn¡¯t tell since when those frightening threads had been there, or how they¡¯d come to wrap themselves so tightly around my heart. All I knew was that they had the power to completely destroy me in a single moment, like it had almost happened in that dark alley the day before.


    I took some potatoes from the basket near the sink and started peeling them.


    Always feared, ever since childhood, I thought. Then he¡¯d really been alone his entire life. When someone is feared like that, even when sharing the same space with someone else, it¡¯s as if there¡¯s no one there. Just as it happened with me on a daily basis. Or maybe that was even worse. Having someone beside him who could hardly look him in the eye, who shivered at his every movement, who tried to run away at the slightest sign of change. I could easily imagine the loneliness and sadness of having to live with someone like that. And that¡¯s why he loved Lea, I concluded. Lea was the only one who hadn¡¯t run away, who¡¯d remained beside him even when he¡¯d tried to get rid of him. Because when we don¡¯t have anyone, we have no other choice but starting to believe we don¡¯t need them after all. Lea had penetrated his defenses, and had won through persistence. He¡¯d seen his world of darkness and remained by his side. In the end he had become his light.


    I scolded myself immediately and unloaded my frustration on the innocent potatoes, cutting them into fries. That was exactly what I couldn¡¯t allow to happen! Me, measuring his thoughts and feelings as if they were my own, as if they belonged to any other Human Being. He was not Human! He probably couldn¡¯t even feel any of that! And so I dropped the subject and concentrated on what would soon be our lunch.


    When the food was almost ready, I placed the clean dishes on the table and Lea did the rest, setting the table. By the time he was done, a delicious smell filled the air, and he raised his head taking a deep breath, complimenting me on how wonderful everything smelled.


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I scolded him, trying to slap a thieving hand, but he managed to be much faster that I could ever be, stealing a fry and blowing on it, before sticking it in his mouth.


    ¡°Very good.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right! No more stealing!¡± I ordered and he seemed disappointed that his compliment hadn¡¯t done much in terms of placating my anger. ¡°And go get him. He¡¯s in the living room, right?¡± I asked, although I¡¯d much rather simply forget his presence, but Lea didn¡¯t move an inch, looking at me with a serious expression. ¡°So? He¡¯s there, right?¡± I persisted, and he nodded, still stunned.


    ¡°Yeah, but ... you want me to get him?¡± he asked, sounding surprised, and I understood the reason behind his hesitation.


    ¡°Well, he¡¯ll end up showing up anyways. And he¡¯s been staying outside all this time to let me work in peace, right? I¡¯m not blind, you know? I know he is always trying to make things easier for me, one way or the other,¡± I unwillingly admitted. ¡°And I... since I can¡¯t really escape any of this, I may as well try and do the same. Fighting against the ropes that bind me can only bring me more pain.¡± I took a deep breath, smiling at his serious expression. ¡°So, if you don¡¯t mind, go and call him. It¡¯s the only way I have to repay the fact that he didn¡¯t make me endure his presence up till now.¡±


    Lea left without a word, and I placed the still boiling pan of steaks with mushrooms on the table. I had just set down the fries when they came back.


    His presence made my hands and knees tremble, and my heartbeat picked up, but I was still able to control myself enough to act with some measure of dignity. I managed to look at him, for brief moments, and the slight smile that touched his perfect lips bothered me. He seemed to be in an unusually good mood.


    Gabriel took his place on the other end of the table, as far as possible from mine, and Lea jumped to his chair, clearly happy with what awaited him. I served his plate, as he eagerly followed my every move, and I almost expected him to clap when I finally placed it in front of him. He ate, complimenting me on everything and on the same thing more than once, every time he filled his mouth. His excited voice filled the air that in his absence would surely have been awkwardly silent.


    I noticed, by the few peeks I dared throw Gabriel¡¯s way, that he also ate with pleasure, seeming especially intrigued with the different textures of his fried egg. I smiled watching him pierce the yolk with his fork and almost laughed when he uselessly tried to stop it from spilling all over his plate. In those things he was almost like Lea, I thought, with the difference that Lea always said exactly what he thought, while he was more silent and observant.


    ¡°Mari? Can we come with you this afternoon?¡± Lea asked with a broad smile, cleaning his plate with two fries, and I just couldn¡¯t answer. His ¡®we¡¯ didn¡¯t go unnoticed, quite the opposite. His question had undoubtedly included Gabriel. And although I didn¡¯t wish to refuse Lea¡¯s company, I wished I could avoid having to deal with the physical pain that having Gabriel around implied. However, and as much as it displeased me, I knew I couldn¡¯t leave him behind. I¡¯d already left him alone the entire morning. I didn¡¯t want to risk repeating the feat in the afternoon.


    ¡°Sure we can.¡± Gabriel¡¯s deep, soft tone gave me the usual shivers. ¡°After all, Mari promised that she¡¯d spend the weekend with us,¡± he added, staring at me, challenging me to say otherwise.


    ¡°This way you can help me,¡± I said, smiling at Lea, ignoring Gabriel¡¯s provocation. ¡°It¡¯ll be much faster.¡± Lea jumped from his chair, clapping enthusiastically, partially erasing the bitter taste that filled my mouth. I couldn¡¯t escape those binds, but being so pointedly reminded of their existence was never pleasant.


    After we ate Lea help me with the dishes, anxious to finish them up so we could leave. I went upstairs to get my wallet and when I came back they were both waiting for me by the front door.


    The cold wind outside made me pull up the collar of my coat and the gray, cloudy sky warned me that it might be a good idea to take an umbrella.


    Lea waited to hold my hand, his sunglasses with little fishes back on his face, and I couldn¡¯t help shiver at the sight of his naked legs below his knee-length blue shorts. Lea, however, was so excited about our afternoon walk that he seemed unable to feel cold. Besides, I¡¯d already noticed neither of them felt cold the same way I did.


    Gabriel stood on the other side of the road, allowing me to take the lead, which I did without sparing him a single look. And then he fell in behind us, his silent footsteps making me wonder if he was actually there.


    We went down Lewisham Street and then turned north. The supermarket was relatively close and we were there in less than fifteen minutes.


    Lea stopped, like he¡¯d stopped before the sight of the Westminster Cathedral, eyes wide open, his moth gawking, and he gasped in disbelief.


    ¡°This huge house ... it¡¯s filled with things to eat?¡± he asked and I nodded, unable to stop myself from smiling as I looked down at him. ¡°Oh, Tes ... co,¡± he read the huge red letters out loud. ¡°Is it the name of the owner of this amazing place?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I don¡¯t think so. It¡¯s only the name of the place. Places like this don¡¯t belong to only one person,¡± I supposed and Lea nodded, still very much impressed.


    ¡°I see. I wonder, is it too expensive to buy one of these houses? I¡¯d really like to have one.¡±


    I laughed and pulled him towards the door. ¡°For now just be happy to buy some of the things inside the house,¡± I suggested as the doors opened automatically.


    ¡°Ah! Magic!¡± His sudden accusation startled me and he turned back urgently, pointing his small accusatory finger at the glass doors. ¡°Master! Magic!¡± he insisted, his child-like voice sounding too high pitched, and I pulled him across the door, blushing when two women turned to look inquisitively at us.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not! Stop saying nonsense!¡± I scolded him and dared to look over my shoulder, fearing that my other demon might think alike, dreading what he might do against the innocent doors. But, to my relief, Gabriel looked unimpressed, which allowed me to focus on keeping Lea¡¯s hand firmly gripped in mine.


    ¡°Not magic?¡± he insisted, sounding disappointed, and I took a deep breath.


    ¡°Most Humans do not possess that kind of power,¡± Gabriel explained, ¡°and those who do don¡¯t use it in public, for fear of being persecuted and condemned if they did.¡± He practically whispered the words, but even with the distance between us, I could hear him perfectly clear, probably even better than if he¡¯d been standing right beside me.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lea asked, looking up at me as if he felt sorry for me as a representative of the entire non-magical Human race, and sighed when I didn¡¯t deny it. ¡°What a shame.¡±


    I placed a coin in the mechanism to release a shopping cart and Lea¡¯s attention was immediately turned towards this new toy, asking me if he could push it, running with the cart down the corridor.


    ¡°Slow down!¡± I shouted after him. ¡°And be careful not to hit anyone!¡± I doubted he heard me.


    Watching Lea run and laugh, while people went about their lives, almost made the incident from the day before seem like an imaginary nightmare. For my mind, eager to retain any measure of normality, the fear and tension of those moments had already begun to dwindle. There, in my small, protected world, no strange dark creature would come out of the shadows to disturb the peace. At least that was what I wanted to believe.


    Trying to divert Lea¡¯s attention from his cart racing, I asked him to search for some of the things on my shopping list, and he happily skipped down the aisle.


    ¡°You know, you really didn¡¯t have to come here. All you had to do was tell me what you needed.¡± Again, that voice. I took a box of cereal from the shelf and put it in my cart. I considered getting angry at his suggestion, but his tone hadn¡¯t been smug or conceited. And I understood my actions actually puzzled him. After all, why go to all that trouble when everything could be easily solved with a single thought or wish?


    ¡°Things like this make part of my world,¡± I replied. ¡°And, right now, you¡¯re both living in it.¡± I spoke as if he were standing right beside me, and pushed the cart towards the crackers and cookies section. ¡°The same way you dress and behave like one of us, things like going to the supermarket are also included. Besides, I still want to go about my life like always.¡±


    ¡°I see, although I can¡¯t really say I understand.¡±


    Lea came back running, showing me what he¡¯d brought me, and I thanked him, giving him a new task. He smiled happily and ran away once again, allowing me to turn my attention towards the various packets of cookies in front of me.


    ¡°The chocolate ones.¡± I heard his velvet voice and couldn¡¯t help raise my head to look at him in surprise. He stood like a lean dark shadow, almost on the other end of the aisle, and slowly raised his pale hand to point the shelf right in front of me, his expression serious and decided.


    ¡°You want ... these ones?¡± I tried to make sure, not knowing what to think, and reached for a packet of chocolate cream cookies from the shelf right above my head. His hand dropped with that same slowness and he simply nodded.


    I placed the packet in the cart and reached for another, trying as hard as I could not to laugh. Just like Lea, who had insisted that I buy him a huge red lollipop as soon as we¡¯d entered the store, I mused.


    I pushed the cart, turning my back on him so he wouldn¡¯t notice my persistent smile, and stopped by the bread.


    I was choosing a bag of buns, knowing Lea would love them, when I thought I heard his voice calling me urgently. My head shot up and I looked around, searching for him, and then, without a thought, my feet were running down the main corridor.


    I found him two aisles down from where I¡¯d left my cart, perched on one of the highest shelves, which he¡¯d obviously climbed and from where he seemed unable to come down. I immediately ran to him noticing he kept his eyes closed, tears of fear streaming down his cheeks, his sunglasses fallen on the ground.


    ¡°Lea! What are you doing up there?¡± I asked, trying to calm him down, rising on my tiptoes to reach him, and held him by his waist, his small body trembling.


    Maybe I pulled him down too soon, or maybe he just couldn¡¯t let go of his hold on what he perceived to be his only safety. But suddenly a huge pile of cans was falling over us. Instinctively, I pulled him against my chest and crouched, hugging him protectively. I couldn¡¯t really tell what happened next. Just that something pushed me down, and that all I could do was hold him tight, fearing I¡¯d let go of him as I fell. The sound of dozens of cans crashing around us filled the air, and then silence, except for the sound of my uneven breath.


    I could already guess what had happened before I even opened my eyes, and I knew that the pain in my chest had nothing to do with my fall. My vision blurred, but I could still easily identify his hand, planted on the floor right beside my head. His white skin was still burned, vivid red marks breaking its perfect paleness. And I knew without a doubt that if that hand were to touch me, darkness and madness would descend on me.


    Shaking uncontrollably, I slowly turned my gaze upwards and, sure enough, there he was, his beautiful face right above of mine, which only made me hold Lea even harder. He¡¯d protected us with his own body and, for a split second, my vision became clearer. The black eyes that looked down on me were haunted and sad, and I was almost grateful when my vision became blurry again, sparing me that disturbing sight.


    Worried voices surrounded us and I felt the small body I still held move. And then he was gone. It had all happened so fast and, at the same time, so excruciating slowly that I felt lost for a moment. Hands I didn¡¯t know held me, helping me sit up, and strange words mixed with worried expressions that made me dizzy reached my ears. My gaze wandered over the fallen cans all around me, and I was only able to return to myself when a small pair of hands held mine.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    ¡°Mari! Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?¡± I shook my head, immediately recognizing his worried expression, and his childish face came even closer, his nose almost rubbing mine. ¡°Are you sure? Then why are you crying?¡± he asked me softly and I took a hand to my face, confused.


    ¡°I¡¯m crying?¡± I asked, surprised but unable to deny it, as I felt the dampness on my skin. ¡°But I¡¯m not sad and I¡¯m not hurt ... really!¡± I added, trying to erase his sad expression, and I hurriedly dried my tears that were immediately replaced by new ones. This was plain stupid, I thought. Of all the times I wished I could cry, and had all the reasons in the world to, I¡¯d never been able to shed a single tear! Now that there was no reason for tears, they just kept falling uninterruptedly!


    ¡°Miss, are you sure you¡¯re okay?¡±


    I raised my head and smiled at the nice man that still held me, although I couldn¡¯t stop my tears from falling.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, thank you. Thank you very much,¡± I repeated, noticing his wife¡¯s concerned expression. I fought to get back on my feet and took a deep breath. ¡°And you, Lea, are you okay?¡± I asked picking up his sunglasses, and he nodded, holding his hands behind his back, looking embarrassed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he murmured and I smiled.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± I guaranteed, drying some more tears, hopefully for the last time, and turned towards the couple that had helped me.


    ¡°Once again, thank you. And I¡¯m sorry for all this mess,¡± I added towards the employee, who had just arrived at the scene. He gave me a polite smile, muttering something about being glad we were all right, even though I guessed he wasn¡¯t happy at all about having to pick up the dozens of cans still rolling across the floor.


    I held Lea¡¯s hand, thanking them one more time, and towed him towards the aisle where I¡¯d left our cart.


    ¡°Are you angry?¡± I heard his fearful voice and looked at him with an honest smile.


    ¡°Of course not! Why would I be?¡±


    ¡°You could have hurt yourself. You shouldn¡¯t have helped me. Me, even if I¡¯d fallen from there, nothing bad would have happened. I was really stupid.¡± I laughed at his unusual self-reprimand, and ruffled his unruly hair.


    ¡°I bet you didn¡¯t even think about that,¡± I told him, now amused. ¡°The only thing you thought was how to get to the tuna cans. And then you were too afraid to climb back down. Really, just like a cat!¡± Lea blushed, too embarrassed to face me.


    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for Master ...¡± he left his observation hanging and my smile faded away as I was reminded of his presence. However, I could hardly deny that, once again, he¡¯d kept us safe.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°But Mari, this is not the first time that something like this happened!¡± he noted, now with a worried, grown-up-like scolding tone. ¡°You mustn¡¯t forget that we¡¯re not like you! You don¡¯t need to protect us! You¡¯re much frailer than we are!¡±


    That was the first time I¡¯d ever heard Lea so clearly stating the obvious, that he and I were nothing alike and, somehow, his words made me sad and angry.


    ¡°You know, if you''re going to tell me something like that, I¡¯ll only end up even more confused!¡± I snapped at him. ¡°After all, aren¡¯t you the one always using words like love, loneliness, sadness and fear to describe yourself and those like you? Words that, in my mind, only apply to Human Beings? When you tell me something like that, I really don¡¯t know what to do. What is it that you really expect from me? That I¡¯ll be able to see you like I see any other person, or that I see you as something different? Please make up your mind!¡± Noticing his surprised expression made me realize that I¡¯d just poured out a big portion of my inner frustration on him. Still, and against my will, that was exactly where I stood ¡ª my mind telling me there were no doubts about the matter, my heart stubbornly disagreeing .


    I thought I should apologize, especially for my harsh tone, because he couldn¡¯t be blamed for my poorly concealed anger. However, as soon as we turned the corner, my feet froze in place as I gaped in disbelief. Gabriel stood beside our cart and Michael was with him. And the vision of those two, standing side by side, left a foreboding feeling stuck at the back of my throat.


    Michael was talking with him, his bright smile as warm and joyful as ever. Gabriel, on the other hand, listened in silence, and, although he¡¯d put on his friendly expression, it was obvious he wasn¡¯t one bit happy with that sudden interference. Something in his eyes, that seemed to follow the conversation with interest, made me shiver. I couldn¡¯t help questioning how Michael still hadn¡¯t noticed it, or the eminent danger he was in.


    I anxiously rushed in their direction, hoping to ease up the tension, and Michael gave me an even brighter smile when he noticed my presence.


    ¡°Hey, hi, Mari!¡±


    I made myself smile and dared steal a sideways glance towards Gabriel, who to my relief, was already walking away.


    ¡°Hi, Michael,¡± I greeted him, glad that at least that problem had been solved without a fuss.


    ¡°Oh, and who¡¯s the little one?¡± Michael asked, smiling down at the small boy I¡¯d dragged by the hand, and my cheeks blushed. In my hurry I¡¯d completely forgotten about Lea.


    ¡°Ah ... um, this is Lea. He is ... Gabriel¡¯s little brother,¡± I conjured up at that precise instant, certain that adding family to his side was much safer than adding to mine.


    ¡°Oh, then he¡¯s your little cousin,¡± he concluded, bending forward, hands on his knees to be closer to Lea¡¯s height, and smiled at the boy. ¡°How old are you, Lea?¡±


    Lea growled at his face between clenched teeth and hid behind my legs, refusing to talk with him.


    ¡°Lea! Stop that!¡± I scolded him, but Michael stood up, looking amused by his foul mood.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. He¡¯s probably just shy,¡± he guessed, which couldn¡¯t have been further from the truth. I frowned threateningly at Lea¡¯s disdainful expression and decided to give my attention to Michael.


    ¡°Listen, Mari,¡± he continued before I could make any casual conversation and his tone seemed apprehensive. ¡°I¡¯m glad I met you. I really wanted to talk to you.¡± My heart gave a jerk of happiness and my mind jumped immediately to the worst-case scenario, grasping for a fast, urgent escape.


    ¡°Hmm, right now is kind of complicated. Can we talk tomorrow?¡± I awkwardly suggested, and he held my free hand, startling me.


    ¡°Mari, are you avoiding me?¡± His serious, almost pained tone of voice took me by surprise. His question had almost sounded like a statement.


    ¡°Avoiding you? No! Why would I?¡± I questioned him, not knowing what else to say, and Michael looked away, restlessly changing his weight from one leg to another as if he felt awkward.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. It just feels that way, since the time we spent the day together ... and if it¡¯s something I did or said ...¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I cut in urgently, desperately looking for his gaze that always seemed to avoid mine. ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that! You didn¡¯t do or say anything wrong! I wish I could explain, but ...¡±


    He sighed deeply and his fingers gently caressed mine. ¡°Can¡¯t you get free? For just a few minutes?¡±


    I wished with all my heart I could say yes. I missed spending time with him and all the little things I¡¯d been able to conquer, and which I now had to abdicate from in order to fulfill my new agreement. Gabriel¡¯s words echoed immediately in my mind, reminding me that I¡¯d promised to spend the afternoon with him, and I knew there was no way I could accept Michael¡¯s invitation.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I pleaded with all my heart and he gave me one of his recently acquired comprehensive smiles.


    ¡°No problem. Another time then. Anyways, I¡¯ll see you tomorrow, right? I guess I was just feeling a bit ... anxious, since we haven¡¯t spoken since Friday. But now that I¡¯ve seen you ... it¡¯s kind of creepy, right?¡± he asked awkwardly, and I shook my head vehemently. ¡°I know it is. But it¡¯s the truth, and I¡¯ve decided to always tell you the truth, so ...¡± He hesitated and my cheeks flushed automatically.


    Hearing him say those words made me really happy and sad at the same time. I wished I could tell him the same, but my truth was too frightening to share. With him or anyone else.


    ¡°Thank you, Michael. I¡¯m ... really happy to know you feel you can trust me,¡± I told him, trying to be as sincere as possible. ¡°And I don¡¯t think it¡¯s creepy or anything. Me too, I also think of you, even when we¡¯re apart,¡± I added, too aware of just how embarrassing that sounded, but the glow that took over his expression was worth it.


    ¡°You do? I mean, that¡¯s good,¡± he said in one breath while Lea sighed impatiently. ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, I bought a new book. I¡¯ll lend it to you tomorrow. I know you¡¯ll like it.¡±


    I smiled at his enthusiasm, and because he was back to being the Michael I knew and loved. But, at the same time, knowing how my actions held such power over him made me sad. Because, after all, he was so much more than I could ever be! And it was as if I had the ability to destroy all he was just by averting my gaze. The connection that had grown between us, the same that I had wished for so fervently, due to the circumstances surrounding me, couldn¡¯t make neither of us happy.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting,¡± I replied and Lea sighed again, making his presence noted.


    ¡°Um, it looks like the little one is impatient. And, anyway, I have to go,¡± he said with a gentle smile that melted my heart. ¡°See you tomorrow.¡±


    His hand finally released mine and I felt the air around me suddenly grow colder, almost as if my body temperature had been dependent on his touch.


    Michael waved goodbye to Lea, who growled once more in response, and walked away. I followed him with my eyes; the rhythm of his footsteps that I knew so well, his shoulders straight under his jacket, his blond hair gently swaying with every new step. I wished I could run to him, close the distance between us in a heartbeat, and simply hug him, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. But the binds that tied me would never allow it.


    ¡°Can we go, now?¡± Lea asked, impatiently, and I looked down at him in disapproval.


    ¡°You were very rude!¡± I pointed out and he released my hand, crossing his arms over his chest with a deep frown.


    ¡°Why do I have to be nice? I don¡¯t like him!¡± he stated so frontally that it took me by surprise.


    ¡°Why not? Michael didn¡¯t do anything!¡± I defended him the best I could. Besides, everyone liked Michael, right?


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. I don¡¯t like him and that¡¯s it!¡± he stubbornly retorted and I gave up, thinking that even in these kinds of things he was exactly like a child.


    ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s just get what¡¯s still missing from our list,¡± I told him, changing the subject, and Lea exchanged his pout for a much happier smile, pushing the cart towards the next aisle. Gabriel was already there, standing on the opposite end just like before, following us at a distance as if he were our personal bodyguard.


    Lea eagerly asked me for a new mission and I sent him to get some cheese, after making him promise that he wouldn¡¯t be climbing on anything.


    I grabbed two rice bags and checked the list for what was still missing.


    ¡°He asked you to leave with him.¡± I heard his deep voice as if he¡¯d whispered the words in my ear, breaking my line of thought. Had that been a question or a statement? ¡°Why didn¡¯t you?¡±


    Unconsciously, I crumpled the piece of paper I held in my hand. What kind of question was that? When he knew the answer better than anyone!


    I bit the inside of my mouth and decided not to show just how much his question had annoyed me.


    ¡°You said it yourself. I promised to spend the weekend with you,¡± I murmured, knowing he¡¯d hear me perfectly well, and studied the prices of the different brands of sugar.


    ¡°But you didn¡¯t promise,¡± he insisted and I frowned when I couldn¡¯t concentrate on the numbers, ending up choosing the brand right in front of me.


    ¡°And what if I¡¯d left? What would you have done?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t normally think about things that far ahead. Do you?¡± I stood silent. If he didn¡¯t, why did I have to? And if there were no certainties for him, what was I constantly worrying about? Worse! What was the use of worrying at all? ¡°I see,¡± he commented before my silence. ¡°What did you think I would do? Hmm, let¡¯s see ...¡± He pretended to be thinking about it, and my heart quivered, freezing me in place. ¡°Oh, of course, Stephanie,¡± he concluded, sounding amused, and I squeezed the shopping cart handle as hard as I could. When he put it like that it almost sounded as if I was the one to blame for him thinking of her as bargaining chip in our constant wars.


    ¡°She¡¯s my friend!¡± I finally exploded, turning to face him, furiously raising my voice more than necessary, and his surprised expression made me realize that, contrary to my will, I¡¯d lost control once again. ¡°My only friend,¡± I added, lowering my head, bitterness filling my mouth as I recalled that same friend wouldn¡¯t even look me in the eye, much less talk to me, and wished I could cry, although at this point, I had no hope that my tears would obey me.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His serious tone broke through my anguish and my head automatically turned to him. His dark eyes looked firm and decided and, although his expression wasn¡¯t quite as menacing, the intensity of his gaze made me take a step back. ¡°Just to make it clear. I never looked for her. She¡¯s the one who came for me,¡± he declared, the only confirmation that he had actually spoke being the soft, almost unnoticed, movements of his lips. ¡°If you think I take any pleasure in her company, then you¡¯re wrong. The company of Human Beings doesn¡¯t please me in the least.¡± After the initial impact, my anger boiled even hotter. Not for me, I told myself, but for Steph. She had been deceived when he had led her to believe he had feelings for her! Deceived to the point of choosing him over her own friends!


    ¡°And yet you spend your days with her, laughing and whispering secrets all over school!¡± I accused him, noticing once more I¡¯d talked too loud.


    ¡°Because, as you so kindly pointed out, refusing to do so would be a breach of our Contract. I¡®ll admit that getting involved with her to begin with was a mistake. A bigger mistake yet since she¡¯s your friend and I agreed not to hurt those around you. But, now that it has come to this, if I just walk up to her and tell her how I truly feel, I¡¯ll be breaking our Contract. You yourself made a point to remind me of that, or have you forgotten?¡± he replied, keeping his cool as always, and I clenched my teeth, wishing I could hit him, or at least throw something really heavy, preferably sharp too, at his head.


    ¡°And so you decided to use her as a bargaining chip!¡± I demanded in indignation. ¡°I can never understand what you¡¯re thinking! You act as if this Contract is important to you, and then go out of your way to make sure it¡¯s not fulfilled! Michael ... Michael thinks I¡¯m avoiding him!¡± Which was true, I added in my mind, bitterness flooding my chest.


    ¡°I thought that that¡¯s what you wanted.¡±


    I looked up at him, stunned. So he knew? I forced myself react!


    ¡°And who¡¯s talking about what I want? When has that ever mattered? I¡¯m talking about what you want!¡± I countered. A woman who passed by threw me a strange look, as though she thought me crazy for, apparently, standing there talking to myself.


    ¡°That¡¯s quite simple, really. You want something, but there are some things in this situation, conditions that you don¡¯t want to face or live through, making you avoid the fulfillment of your initial wish. I¡¯m the same as you,¡± he calmly admitted and I stood there, in silence, trying to make sense of his words.


    True enough I wished Michael had feelings for me, but the price he¡¯d asked for my wish to come true didn¡¯t agree with me in the least. But, if that¡¯s how it was, knowing that he would achieve what he wanted once our Contract was fulfilled, what was there that displeased him?


    Lea returned with a smile on his lips, completely unaware of our discussion, and placed the cheese in the cart, skipping to my side.


    ¡°What else?¡± he inquired and I had to blink in order to return to reality. ¡°Is there anything else?¡± he insisted, now looking suspicious, and I faked a smile.


    ¡°No. I guess that¡¯s almost everything,¡± I replied, checking my list again.


    While we gathered a few last things, my head kept turning around what he¡¯d said. I guess that what shocked me the most was realizing that, even for him, there were things he couldn¡¯t control. Something he didn¡¯t desire and that was implicitly related to our Contract. It couldn¡¯t be its terms, I thought, since, unlike me, he had gladly agreed to them. So it could only be something he hadn¡¯t foreseen, some kind of secondary consequence that I just couldn¡¯t grasp.


    We manually and very much human-like carried all the supermarket bags back home, after rejecting twice Lea¡¯s insistent idea of just making everything magically appear in my living room.


    Once at home I patiently put everything in its rightful places, freezing most of our meat and fish supplies that, hopefully, would last us till the end of the month. Gabriel stood outside the kitchen door, leaning against the corridor wall, watching me with what could only be curiosity. And so, unlike Lea who kept happily jumping all over the place, I was really tired once everything was done.


    ¡°What now? What now?¡± he asked excitedly and I sighed. Where did all his energy came from? I dared take a peek towards Gabrie, just to confirm that he too was waiting for an answer, and sighed again.


    ¡°Now, homework,¡± I replied and Lea¡¯s smile quickly gave way to a pout.


    ¡°Homework? But that¡¯s so boring!¡± he argued. ¡°I¡¯m always supposed to be quiet when you¡¯re studying! It¡¯s no fun at all!¡± I smiled and ran a hand through his soft tussled hair.


    ¡°But I have to. Tomorrow¡¯s a school day and I still haven¡¯t done anything. To tell you the truth, since you arrived, I haven¡¯t been studying at all!¡± I added with a grimace and stole another peek towards the door, but he wasn¡¯t there anymore.


    Lea followed me up to my room, clearly disappointed with my choice of activity, and I took a deep breath as I grabbed all my books and notebooks before leaving again.


    ¡°Mari? Where are you going?¡± I heard his childish voice ask curiously as he followed me back downstairs, and I stopped by the living room door for an instant, quickly taking in the layout of the room into consideration before stepping inside.


    I dropped my things on the dinner table, only rarely used on important occasions, and pulled up a chair, sitting down.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to study here?¡± Lea asked, bewildered, and I nodded before raising my head to face him. Gabriel too, was staring at me from his armchair with that same expression, and I took a deep breath for courage¡¯s sake, before turning to answer his silent question.


    ¡°I did tell you I would spend the afternoon with you. A deal is deal!¡± I made a point to stress out and his incredulous expression was quickly replaced bya soft smile, almost as gentle as the ones he always gave Lea; which left me with the impression that I¡¯d just said something plainly stupid, just like the night before when I¡¯d said too much. ¡°And you!¡± I said, pointing an accusatory finger at him, wanting to quickly erase the awkward feeling that filled the room; the words falling of my mouth as if they had a will of their own. ¡°You have the same classes I do! Which means you have the same homework, too! You should at least do that!¡± I pointed out and Lea stared at me in utter shock, his eyes growing wider by the second.


    Gabriel stood up ever so slowly, easily towering above the both of us, and I couldn¡¯t help cringe in my chair, fighting against the flight response that already cursed through my veins. I followed his calm and carefully planned movements as he picked up a pile of books that had been carelessly tossed on one of the couches. I couldn¡¯t help wonder what madness had come to possess me, to make me go and put myself in that kind of situation of my own volition.


    My eyes followed his every move, the way his long legs bent when he walked, his feet touching the floor without a sound, my heart racing in a panic as he walked towards us. I clenched my fists when my hands started shaking on their own accord, but, to my relief, he put down his things on the other end of the table.


    It was only when I saw him drag a chair and sit down that I realized he¡¯d taken me serious, and I felt kind of lost, not knowing what to do next. I decided to follow his example and, with hands still shaking, opened my English Literature book to our last lesson.


    I heard the sound of pages quickly being turned and couldn¡¯t help peering at him through the corner of my eye. I saw him go over book after book, turning page after page without lingering no more than a few seconds on each of them. And, when he closed the last book, a smug and proud smile stretched his perfect lips as he raised his head to look at me.


    ¡°All done,¡± he simply stated and I blinked in amazement.


    ¡°All! All what?¡±


    ¡°All the lessons, of course.¡±


    ¡°How? That¡¯s impossible!¡± I firmly countered, more in outrage than really doubting him.


    Without a single word, he pushed the books across the table, making them slide over the smooth surface until they came to a stop, right in front of me. I hesitated for a moment before touching them, almost as if expecting that by doing so I¡¯d be struck by a jolt of electricity, and then opened the English Literature book to the first page.


    My eyes fell upon a beautiful, long and elegant handwriting, each letter so carefully designed that they almost looked draws instead of characters. And, true enough, all the exercises had been solved. Even the texts were underlined, small notes appearing here and there on the sides. Page after page, his handwriting embellished the otherwise plain pages. Nothing had been left behind or forgotten.


    Determined, I opened the book to the same page as mine, the one we had to do for homework, and, just as with all the pages before, all the exercises had been solved. I ran my eyes over his answers and was stunned, as I was certain that, not only were they correct, but all the subjects had been well developed beyond what had been requested. I took a peek at the next lessons and came across the same exact thing. I dropped English Literature and grabbed History, then Philosophy. All his books presented signs of having been carefully read and studied.


    ¡°Did you use magic?¡± I asked, slightly peeved at the injustice if he had, and he leaned his head on one of his hands.


    ¡°That kind of question is too ambiguous,¡± he calmly replied. ¡°If you¡¯re asking me if I used magic to write on those books, then the answer is yes. However, that doesn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t read and memorized all that¡¯s written on them. It only means that my learning speed is that much higher, that¡¯s all,¡± he added, again with that smug smile on his face.


    I opened the English Literature book again, asking him a random question to which he promptly answered without hesitation. Question after question, from past or future lessons, even when I changed subjects, the result was frustratingly always the same. Finally I closed the last book and dropped my head on the table completely defeated.


    ¡°Master! That¡¯s amazing!¡± Lea cheered, clearly impressed, and I muttered a curse underneath my breath.


    ¡°It¡¯s no big deal, Lea.¡±


    ¡°But I can¡¯t do that!¡± Lea insisted and I peered at them without even raising my head, utterly dejected.


    I saw him pick up Lea and sit him on his knee, as Lea opened one of his notebooks, suddenly keen on learning as much as his Master.


    ¡°You can copy my answers, if you want. I¡¯m quite confident that they are correct,¡± he told me, sounding deeply amused, and I immediately straightened my back, pushing his books back to him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need them! I¡¯ve always been very much able to do my own homework, thank you!¡± I flatly replied and turned my attention towards my yet completely blank pages, as I tried as hard as I could to simply ignore his persistent smile.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 15 - Part 1

    Chapter 15


    LEA


    ¨C Keter. - Path of Pe.


    The Overthrow of the Salve-Gods by The Beast 666.1 ¨C


    "Worse than the chains that bind me, or than the pain brought upon by the claws that imprison my heart,


    is the inconsistence of the ground under my feet, of the air that surrounds me, of the world that I touch.


    Because every time I allow myself to accept this thundering storm,


    everything changes once again, blinding me and hiding my path,


    making me drown ever more towards the inevitability


    that is the condemnation of my entire being."


    I stubbornly clenched my fists into tight balls as I dragged my foot towards a new painstaking step. That situation had long passed the limits of the ridiculous, I sternly told myself, counting under my breath as I forced the air down my lungs. I wasn''t afraid of him! I wanted to move forward! And yet, why wouldn''t my own legs obey me?


    I raised my eyes from my frozen feet, my knees trembling against each other, and forced myself to face him. He sat in his usual armchair, completely still, watching me repeat my useless attempt with what looked like indifference; his expression calm, with no hint of impatience or disappointment. Making sure I kept my breathing under tight control, I noticed I''d already managed to walk a bit closer than the day before and tried to use that as an incentive. After all, what ... just four, five steps more, and I could easily slap him! Or maybe punch him! Punching him sounded very good! I dragged the other foot, placing one in front of the other, and something inside me seemed to shatter. Pain washed over me, leaving me breathless, making my will change in a split second. If I had to keep enduring that kind of torture, I''d rather just give up all together.


    "Mari, enough," Lea murmured, pulling me back by my skirt, and I wished I could tell him no, that I wasn''t about to give up, even though I knew I''d just done it. "Come, let''s make dinner," he said, his small hand pulling me once again, and my legs followed him eagerly, even though they''d refused to obey me mere seconds ago.


    I sat at the kitchen table, feeling too tired to move, and Lea perched himself on the sink to fill a glass of water, which he dutifully handed me with a worried expression.


    "Are you all right?"


    I took a deep breath, as all the trembling and shaking slowly waned, and took a long sip of water that seemed to help unknot my stomach.


    "Better, thank you," I replied and his tiny hand slid over my face to comfort me.


    "You''ll make it, you''ll see."


    "It''s pathetic! It''s not like I''m afraid or anything! At least I''m not, when he''s sitting there like a statue! I have the stupidest feeling that even with my eyes closed, not knowing if he was really there or not, the result would be the same. This is really, really stupid!" I grunted in frustration.


    "But you did manage to get closer today," Lea countered, all positive thinking, and I sighed in dismay.


    "Two meager small baby steps."If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    "But if you add two meager small baby steps every day, it won''t be long before you actually manage to stand beside him!"


    I looked at him and made myself smile at his hopeful expression. He really wished I could do it, just because it was something I wanted to do. I ran a hand through his black, soft hair and raised my head to reassure him.


    "You''re right. The important thing is to never give up," I stated, although I knew all too well I''d never be able to stand beside him of my own free will, and Lea smiled. "Does he ... feel disappointed at my constant failures?" I asked, well aware of just how embarrassing asking it out loud really was, and Lea seemed almost shocked. "I just can''t help wondering what he''s thinking, just sitting there, seeing me fight for every single step like an idiot." I confessed. "If I were him, I''d long lost my patience. I''d find this whole situation so ridiculous! I''m always left wondering. Is he making fun of me? Laughing at my expense? Does he despise me for my stupid inability to give a dozen steps in his direction? Is he offended? Or maybe he feels proud of himself, since his presence is so terrible that I can''t even get close to him. Is he annoyed at all by my useless attempts? What do you think?" I asked and Lea reluctantly averted his gaze.


    "I don''t think he feels any of that," he said in a small voice.


    "He doesn''t feel anything, then. And just sits there, indifferently watching me struggle against myself."


    "Why don''t you ask him that question, Mari?" he asked me as if he''d just had a brilliant idea. "I''m sure Master will give you an answer."


    "That might even be. But I really don''t know how to ask him something like this!" I confessed, blushing just from trying to picture it.


    "Why? You asked me, didn''t you? It''s easier if you ask Master. Because no one else can really know what he''s thinking or feeling." He was all innocence and honesty, and I smiled at his silver eyes, nodding.


    "You''re right, Lea. Absolutely right. Anyway, let''s keep this between the two of us, okay? Secret?" I wanted to make sure, and he seemed to ponder for a moment, before nodding in agreement.


    For dinner I prepared some baked fish with tomatoes, onions and garlic and, strangely enough, and not cat-like at all, Lea wrinkled his nose in disgust. Even so, as soon as he saw me place the bowl on the table, he ran out the door, returning a few moments later with Gabriel right behind him.


    Like always, I waited until he''d taken his place, somehow feeling safer once he was sitting down, and asked for Lea''s plate. Holding his fork and knife, he still stared suspiciously at our dinner.


    We ate in silence, except for Lea, who eventually ended up being completely won over by the sauce, and gladly complimented me on my cooking.


    I watched Gabriel at a distance, as discreetly as possible, trying to ascertain his mood after yet another failure. He really seemed indifferent, I concluded watching as he ate, carefully chewing every mouthful. All for the best, I thought, as I gathered up all my courage to approach a subject too many times postponed.


    "I received a new e-mail from my mother," I announced, nervously plying with the food in my plate and, since he didn''t react, went on. "She says that she''ll probably be able to come home for the holidays, on the seventh." I dared raise my eyes. He kept eating, as if unable to hear me. "You''re the one who basically sent her away. I want to know if she''ll really be able to come home for Easter!" I demanded and his hand finally stopped. I swallowed hard as I saw him slowly put down his fork and I prepared myself to face him when his head moved almost in slow motion.


    "I really don''t think that''s such a good idea," he simply replied.


    "Why?" I demanded once again, raising my voice, and his expression became stone cold and distant.


    "Because if she comes back right now, I''ll have to manipulate her memories again," he replied. "And sometimes, Humans who have their memories changed too often start forgetting other events of their lives. I know you don''t wish for any harm to come to her." I felt my heart sink. Sure, I''d told myself that the probability of seeing my mom so soon was thin, to say the least. But still ... "Besides, she''s safer in Paris. And it would seem she''s been quite successful."


    "Mari ..." Lea''s sad tone made me raise my head and put on another fake smile.


    "It''s fine. I''m sure we''ll see each other over the summer. I always thought it would be difficult anyway, but since she wrote me that e-mail, I just hoped ..." I left it at that before my voice could break, ruining the I''m-fine act I''d put up for Lea''s sake. And for once I was happy that my tears never came when they should.

 Chapter 15 - Part 2

    The next day went by the exact same way as always, at least until the bell rang at the end of the day.


    The last class in the afternoon had been slow and tedious and, as soon as it was over, Steph, who over the last few days had apparently decided to completely ignore me, jumped off her seat and stormed out the classroom abruptly.


    I gathered my things as usual, wondering what could have happened to leave her in such a foul mood, and joined Kevin, and later on the rest of the group as we crossed the school grounds towards the exit.


    My answer came quickly enough, as soon we reached the front gate. Joe and the others waved goodbye as they each followed their ways, and I was finally left alone ... with Gabriel!


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I muttered as he turned around to walk ahead of me, and I followed, trying as hard as I could to keep the appearance that everything was as it should be.


    ¡°I was expecting you,¡± he answered me and I frowned.


    ¡°Why? What about Steph?¡± I insisted, knowing he always left school in her company, and he shrugged as if it were none of his concern.


    ¡°I told her you had to stop by the supermarket on your way home and that you needed my help,¡± he told me in a tedious tone.


    ¡°But why?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not safe,¡± he finally admitted, his soft voice floating straight into my ears, and my feet froze for an instant.


    ¡°Not ... safe?¡± I echoed as images of what had happened last Saturday flashed through my memory, and a cold shiver ran down my spine. ¡°What do you mean? I thought ...¡± I stopped myself midway, unsure if I was supposed to know about his magic barrier, not wanting to get Lea in trouble over sharing things he shouldn¡¯t, and he stopped a few steps ahead from where I stood, peering at me over his shoulder.


    ¡°The barrier was breached. Lea went there as soon as possible and sealed the breach. But we can¡¯t be sure that nothing has crossed through in the meantime,¡± he told me, showing me that, as expected, Lea kept no secrets from him.


    ¡°But ... if something did come through, it¡¯s coming after you,¡± I pointed out. And, if that was the case, then no place would be more dangerous than near him! Whatever the case, I only knew I didn¡¯t want to have to go through all of that ever again; that terrifying feeling that had swallowed me whole when the world had stopped! If his presence frightened me enough to freeze me in place, that feeling of being hunted made me wish I could simply cease to exist, in exchange for some peace of mind.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he confirmed. ¡°However, that Seal of yours has my energy imprinted on it. How did you think they found you the last time?¡± I followed the direction pointed by his long, pale finger, and my eyes fell upon the new blue velvet ribbon wrapped around my wrist.


    ¡°Then ... then they can come after me?¡± I whispered, shivering. The idea alone terrified me more than I could tell.


    Once more, sanity threatened to escape through my fingers. I knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to deal with that as well. I thought if I had to go through that again, I¡¯d rather just go mad, right there and then. After all, if I were to lose my mind, at least I¡¯d be able to face everything else with a smile on my lips.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± My name in his voice brought me back to reality, silencing the disconnected thoughts running amok in my mind. ¡°You have nothing to fear. And I know that my word isn¡¯t worth much outside our Contract, but I promise you that no harm will come to you, or to the ones around you.¡±


    I was stunned. For a moment his words echoed in my mind, overtaking the voices of my increasing madness and, for once, I believed in him. A strange calm washed over me, an unmoving certainty that covered the frightening gaps that usually ended up filled with fear and despair. I nodded and he smiled, content with my response, and his smile left me with the certainty he would fulfill his promise, no matter the cost.


    Lea was anxiously waiting for us at home and, following me apprehensively with his silver gaze, waited until I went upstairs to make him a report on the state of things. I didn¡¯t mind it ... I couldn¡¯t mind it. Doing so would simply throw me into another spiral of madness. Besides, I was safe. He would protect me, there was nothing to worry about. So I decided to proceed like I would any other afternoon, and chose a book from my bookshelf before returning downstairs.


    I stopped by the living room door and quickly tried to ascertain their mood through their expressions. But, apparently, everything was as it should be, and I wouldn¡¯t have guessed otherwise, if not for Lea, perched on one of his legs, sitting too quiet for his usual chatty self. On any other day, he would already be jumping up and down at my feet, asking me about the title of the new book I¡¯d chosen to read them. Now, his silver eyes remained serious, watching me with too much intent, as if fearing I could suddenly fall to pieces or have some hysterical fit.


    I walked towards the dining table, pulling a chair, and sat down for my daily reading session. Taking a deep breath, I opened the book to the first page, and raised my voice to read the chapter¡¯s title.


    I read all afternoon and only stopped when light became too dim to go on. I marked the page where I¡¯d stopped and closed the book, asking myself if, like the day before, today I¡¯d be able to advance two more steps. Maybe if I kept my mind wrapped in that dream-like state ... I raised my head, ready to give it a try, but my will faltered the instant I saw him standing.


    ¡°You still want to try it?¡± he asked me, his voice sounding much more serious than before, as if suddenly that subject had become of the utmost importance, and I nodded, knowing my voice would never obey me even if I tried to give him a proper answer. I needed to do this, I reminded myself. I needed to free Steph from his domain. ¡°Then today we''ll reverse our parts. I will come to you,¡± he announced and just picturing it made my heart race.


    ¡°But ... you said ...¡± I tried, my voice quavering.


    ¡°I know what I said! And it will be the same. I won¡¯t exert any kind of influence over your will. The only difference is that I''ll be the one doing the walking.¡±


    I sat in silence for a moment, pondering his offer. If it would really be the same, then it meant that all I had to do was endure it, and Steph would be free! Besides, the main reason why I never seemed to be able to reach him were my two stubborn feet, always refusing to walk forward. If all I had to do was sit still the task seemed much easier and I was confident I¡¯d be able to pull it off on the first attempt. After all, how hard could it be? I straightened my back and raised my head.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Fine,¡± I agreed and Lea stepped back, watching us uneasily from a distance.


    His first steps were slow and he took them at a constant rhythm, allowing me enough time to prepare for the next one. This too was ridiculous, I thought, watching him take another step forward as if he was walking barefoot over broken glass. Nevertheless, and as sure as the sun rose every morning, the effects of his proximity started taking over my body. First the trembling of my hands, which I quickly held together on my lap, then the arms and legs. My stomach knotted over itself, making me queasy. By then my heart was beating like a raving drum, hurting my chest and sending painful, rhythmic waves to my temples. I fought to keep my breathing under control, and stopped myself from averting my gaze from his feet, that kept stepping closer. When he reached more or less the same point I had reached the day before, my body was shaking uncontrollably and the only thing I could hear was the frantic beating of my own heart. I felt so sick that I was sure I¡¯d throw up if my stomach had anything in it. Had I been standing, I¡¯d never be able to go on. Two steps later chaos fell over me like a dark, heavy mantle. My thoughts crumbled, which made me forget to breathe, making me gasp for air. My chest burned, as if fire was melting my lungs. I bent over, trying to hold my disintegrating body together, pain shooting through my veins with each heartbeat, and bit down on my lip to keep myself from screaming. Running away from there as fast as possible was all I could think of. Another step and my vision blurred, making me blink furiously. I didn¡¯t want to lose his feet from sight! The fear of not knowing where he stood was much worse than the one I felt from his closeness. Still I couldn¡¯t see, and the feeling of something wet streaming down my cheeks caught me by surprise. Gabriel too, as he stopped where he stood, no more than two steps away from me. And I took a trembling hand to my face, feeling it deadly cold against my burning skin. Tears.


    Somehow, the fact that I was crying without even being aware of it, especially taking into account I never cried when I should, left me even more alarmed. And the next thing I knew, I was out of my chair, frantically rubbing my eyes as if those small drops could burn me.


    And yet, like in the supermarket, they kept coming, stealing my sight over and over again, no matter how many times I dried them. And then I saw him through my tearful eyes, in between my shaking hands, and his pained expression stole my already labored breath away. I was running out of that room even before I could think, too lost to know where I was going, and stumbled on the first step of the stairs, falling helplessly.


    I sat there, on the ground, gasping for air, rubbing my eyes hard every time I felt a new tear rolling down my face. I didn¡¯t want to cry! I didn¡¯t even feel like it! And still they kept coming, warm and wet.


    The thud of something falling startled me, silencing part of the madness running free in my head. I noticed I had already started to recover, slowly reacquiring domain over my body. And I knew he¡¯d probably gotten angry, finally losing his patience and most certainly breaking something in the process. I, too, felt angry! I pulled myself together, holding on to the handrail in order to hoist myself off the ground. Frustrated and annoyed at my useless self, I clamped my hands together, trying to make them stop trembling.


    I should have gone straight to my room then. Yet, I found myself leaning against the wall, silently dragging my feet towards the door, trying to see just how angry he¡¯d been. I held my breath for a moment as I peered inside, afraid of what I might find and, for a split second, everything looked the same, all the furniture in its rightful place. And then I saw him, sitting on the floor right beside my now empty chair, his back against the table leg, motionless like a statue but looking more like a giant, perfect doll that someone had just abandoned there. Lea, sitting on his lap, was hugging him tightly, his small arms wrapped around his neck.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s going to be all right, Master,¡± I heard his gentle voice whisper, filled with a deep, dark pain. The statue moved, raising a white long hand with which he covered his blankly staring eyes.


    ¡°You saw it too, Lea.¡± I heard his velvet voice and the anguish marking that beautiful sound was so deep that I felt as if a hole had been opened in my chest. ¡°As soon as I get too close, her Soul starts breaking into pieces.¡±


    Silent tears slid down his perfect, marble skin, and Lea cried with him, lifting his head from Gabriel¡¯s chest to softly lick his motionless face.


    I ran from that vision, cringing against the wall, wishing I could simply disappear. The thread around my heart grew so tight that I could feel it cutting into me, making me bleed inside. The pain was so strong, so overwhelming that it dragged me away from myself. And I frantically searched in despair for something, anything that could save me. Michael¡¯s name came to me like a faraway light at the end of a dark, never-ending tunnel. I needed to see him! To feel him! To listened to the sound of his voice! I needed him just as badly as I needed to breathe, so that he could wrap me in his warmth and save me from the edge of the precipice where I now stood. I needed him so he could lead me back! Lead me back to my world! A world where dark beautiful monsters didn¡¯t exist!


    Before I could even think twice about it, I was out the door and running. I could feel the freezing air against my skin, but not even the cold stopped me from running. The path was poorly lit, the shadows of the night creeping from every corner, but I didn¡¯t need to see to know where I was going. Michael¡¯s name filled my head, and his name brought light, peace, and warmth. I knew that all I needed was to set my eyes on him to be delivered from darkness.


    ¡°Mari! Where are you going?¡± an urgent voice asked, pulling me back, making me stop, and it took me several minutes to recognize his childish face.


    ¡°Let go!¡± I ordered, trying to get free, tugging at his little hand, but he wouldn¡¯t release me.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡± he insisted, sounding as worried as he looked, and I pushed his hand hard. Still, he didn¡¯t even budge, his grip too strong for a child his size.


    ¡°Let go of me!¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t! It¡¯s too dangerous!¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t stay! I can¡¯t! Let me go!¡± I shouted and had to gasp for air in the process.


    ¡°Is it because of what happened? It¡¯s fine. Tomorrow ¡­¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand!¡± I challenged him in despair. What could I do to make him release me? ¡°If I stay ... I¡¯ll... I¡¯ll...¡± I¡¯ll cease to exist ... and won¡¯t be myself anymore.


    My urgent, pleading voice fell into silence. I was suddenly too tired. How had I ever believed that I could be saved? What was I thinking? Going to Michael! And then what? And tell him what? Explain how? And how could that possibly save me? And what about tomorrow? And the day after?


    Lea¡¯s hand on mine brought me from my dark musings and I looked down at him in utter defeat. He smiled, although all child-like brightness was gone from him, and tilted his head to the side, speaking too softly, too carefully for his usual self.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go home. It¡¯s not safe out here,¡± he told me and I took a hand to my face, touching my own cheeks, my skin, my eyelids. No tears. Now that I really wanted to cry my eyes remained as dry as a desert. And so I followed his small footsteps, all will to do anything else gone from me.


    Lea took me up to my room, as if I didn¡¯t know my own house, and made me sit on my bed. His small hands ran gently through my tousled hair, tucking a few lost strands behind my ear. I didn¡¯t move. In truth I could hardly feel him.


    ¡°Everything will be fine, Mari. Just rest for a bit, okay?¡± he told me in his adult-like tone. ¡°Will you be okay?¡± I nodded, knowing that if I didn¡¯t he would never leave me alone. Lea walked to the door, still looking back worriedly, but ended up exiting and closing it behind him.


    I laid down exactly as I was, unable to bother with things like changing. Foolishly enough I thought I should probably go and make dinner, but my body disagreed and didn¡¯t move. To my relief my mind was basically blank. And, as I closed my eyes, the silence and darkness that surrounded me were like a blessing.

 Chapter 15 - Part 3

    I woke up with what sounded like a loud, metallic blast that left me sitting up, eyes wide open, in less than a second. The silence that ensued allowed me to half relax, and I looked around my room, hardly remembering how I¡¯d gotten there.


    The window blinds were still open, the lamp on my desk still on. Through the window I could see it was night time and I immediately looked for the alarm clock ¡ª three in the morning.


    I took a deep breath, running a hand across my face. At least I was feeling better. My head didn¡¯t hurt anymore, and my thoughts were clear and objective again.


    Thinking I¡¯d probably dreamed that loud noise, I slid from my bed and got up, deciding I should probably get changed before going back to sleep. I took off my boots, and my all too frilly skirt, and was about to put on my pajama pants when a new blast reverberated through the walls, making the ground beneath my feet shake. I clung tightly to my bed, too startled to even breathe and, this time around, the post-blast silence didn¡¯t last so long. I cringed as the floor under my feet shook yet again, as if a cannon ball had been fired against the house, and the windows vibrated, threatening to shatter.


    I dashed out of my room without a thought, almost falling down the stairs, having to stop midway to allow another quake to pass.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called, stumbling the rest of the way, and went straight for the living room, certain that something was definitely wrong and that that couldn¡¯t be an ordinary earthquake.


    Gabriel¡¯s menacing presence filled the air, making it heavy and hard to breathe. But, as I stumbled inside the room, I couldn¡¯t find anyone


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called again, looking around urgently, making sure my eyes touched every dark corner, but nothing. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±


    I spun on my heels, quickly thinking to look in the kitchen, and darted towards the door. I¡¯d just reached it when a new blast, this time coming from somewhere much closer, made me stagger, and I had to cling to the door frame to stop myself from falling. I turned back immediately, certain that the sound had come from there, and the ground shook again, the glass of the windows and cupboards shattering into small pieces. The air screeched, making my hair stand on edge, reminding me of the night I¡¯d unknowingly evoked a real demon, and became so heavy that I had to pant in order to get some oxygen all the way to my lungs. A cold, sharp wind filled the room, breaking the table in pieces, effortlessly launching chairs and other objects through the air, smashing them against the walls. I crouched near the doorway, covering my head with my arms, afraid I might end up crushed under something or dragged through the air like my couch. A new deafening sound made me recoil instinctively, the sound of the walls cracking filling my ears and then, suddenly, silence.


    It took me a few seconds to realize I¡¯d survived, that I was still breathing, although I already suffered from the symptoms that indicated Gabriel¡¯s presence. Fearing what might await me, I untangled my arms and slowly raised my head, and was promptly frozen in place.


    Black, soft feathers floated lazily through the air, slowly falling everywhere. Not knowing exactly what I was staring at, I saw Gabriel standing in the middle of the wreckage that was all that was left of my living room. He held something long in one of his pale hands that looked very much like a spear. As my gaze followed the black handle from which dark ribbons softly dangled, I noticed the menacing blade, shaped like a crescent moon. Its shiny silver point was firmly pressed against someone else¡¯s neck, and his cold smile sent shivers down my spine. Panicking, I understood that the other presence I could feel belonged to the one he was now threatening, and I quickly ran my urgent, frightened eyes over him.


    The first thing I immediately noticed were the intruder¡¯s long, black feathered wings that closed against his body, reaching knee length. He wore a white shirt left open over his chest, and his dark-red hair was short, except for the bangs that fell over his forehead and down his face, partially covering his right eye. I also noticed the bright golden sword he held, so bright that it almost looked like it emitted a light of its own. And I nervously squeezed my hands together when I saw that the tip of the blade was pointing directly at the chest of a much younger boy.


    Completely naked, the youth stood with his back to me, his tousled black hair reaching the base of his neck. He was tall, but lean and, due to his frail appearance, I wouldn¡¯t have given him more than fifteen years. He held his slender arm stretched at his side, his skin as pale as Gabriel¡¯s, the muscles thin but well toned. His hand, however, was hardly Human, his fingers ending in sharp, long claws that he kept pressed against another boy¡¯s chest.


    Much shorter than the other three, with fair hair, his green eyes kept staring blankly into nothingness. Contrary to the rest, he didn¡¯t even seem to have noticed the sharp claws that threatened his life, his expression empty and distant.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± His whisper, always so clear to me, broke my stunned contemplation of the picture before my eyes and my gaze ran back to him, to his hard, marble face. That question had sounded more like a threat, and the air around us became heavier with his menacing presence, making my heart beat wildly, in spite of the distance between us.


    ¡°Tell your cat to retract his claws,¡± the one with the black wings demanded and only then did it occur to me; if not for the black color of his wings, he would have looked like an angel, straight from the mythical images that so frequently appeared in religious books and churches.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡±


    I shuddered when he raised his voice, repeating the question a word at a time, but the black angel stood unwavering, even though Gabriel¡¯s spear threatened to cut his throat with the slightest movement of his pale hand.


    ¡°Your cat!¡±


    The unmoving statue turned towards the naked boy and I clung harder to the doorjamb as I noticed the red glow in his dark eyes. Over time I¡¯d learned that when his eyes took on that color it usually meant that he was furious, and that I should keep my distance for as long as possible.


    ¡°Suileabhan!¡± His voice, even murmured, echoed all over the room just like when he called me by my name. And all it took was that one word. The naked youth lowered his arm obediently, releasing the other boy from his dangerous claws. The black angel smiled, apparently more at ease, and also lowered his sword.


    ¡°Much better. And is this any way to welcome me, Izrail?¡± The word echoed in my mind. Was that his real name? I saw him clench his teeth, his face pure, hard stone, and he held his blade even closer to the black angel¡¯s throat.


    ¡°It¡¯s the last time I ask you. What are you doing here?¡± he demanded one more time, his eyes burning with that frightening red glow, and I couldn¡¯t help wonder how the black angel was able to face that terrifying look without even flinching.


    ¡°I understand that, right now, you don¡¯t trust anyone. It¡¯s what I call good sense. But really! Just think for a moment. Certainly you do not believe I would have brought Jonathan with me, had I come to kill you.¡±


    He seemed to consider that for an instant, and then stepped back, pieces of wood cracking under his feet, as he slightly lowered his spear, although he made sure to keep it at an angle from where he could quickly raise it if needed.


    The black angel smiled again, making his sword disappear in a beautiful rain of bright small particles. Seeming amused, he looked around him appreciatively, and I noticed for the first time that his eyes were also dark-red, almost black, perfectly matching the color of his hair. He too, seemed to notice me, which made me recoil against the door frame and, with a wide smile, he took a step in my direction.


    ¡°And what¡¯s this? I thought you had decided against the use of Mediums!¡± he stated, sounding intrigued, almost as if he were seeing something rare, and his path was immediately cut off by the naked boy with the black hair, who promptly stood in his way.


    ¡°Stay where you are,¡± Gabriel commanded in that indifferent tone that still wouldn¡¯t allow disobedience. And, for once, the black angel seemed to rethink his path, deciding to do as he¡¯d been told. ¡°Lea, take her upstairs and then check the barrier. And change shapes. You know what will happen if you don¡¯t.¡± The words flew from his perfect mouth in a straightforward way, and the boy, who¡¯d moved to stand between me and the black angel, obeyed him immediately.


    I raised my head to look up at him, my heart beating too fast against my chest, and was faced with two silver eyes that gently smiled at me. It was impossible not to recognize him, although he now looked much older. His red collar with its golden bell still surrounded his neck.


    Bending over, Lea held me by the arms and lifted me from the ground. I tried to stand on my trembling legs and allowed his big, warm hands to lead me out of the room.


    I made him stop by the stairs and had to look up to face his much taller stature. His young face was breathtaking, maybe even more beautiful than Gabriel¡¯s, and I felt lost, for a moment. But then he looked away, his perfect face twitching into a grimace, and I could easily recognize him once again.


    ¡°Lea.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry Mari, for all of this, but everything is going to be all right,¡± he assured me, forcing a smile, and his deep, warm voice made my heart skip a beat.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    ¡°It¡¯s really you,¡± I mused, still trying to accept it, and his pale skin blushed lightly as he became aware of his appearance.


    ¡°Yes, but I¡¯ll change in a minute, as soon as I help you up the stairs.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you could ... grow like this.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he repeated, lowering his head, his tussled hair sliding over his forehead in soft, wavy strands.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I said, even though I wasn¡¯t all that sure, and he gave me a worried look. ¡°Really, I¡¯m fine,¡± I repeated, trying to reassure him, and stole a fleeting gaze towards the opened door. ¡°That one ... he¡¯s a Mazzikin, isn¡¯t he?¡± He nodded and I tried to sort out my thoughts. ¡°Did he come ... to kill him?¡± My voice faltered, the words burning my throat.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. We kind of know him, more or less,¡± he said in an attempt to erase my fears. I nodded for his benefit.


    ¡°You can go. You have other things to do, right? I¡¯ll be fine, really,¡± I insisted, stepping away from his reach, showing him I could stand without his help.


    ¡°You sure?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll just go upstairs and try to get some sleep. I¡¯ll sort out the rest tomorrow. And you have that barrier to check.¡±


    Lea nodded, agreeing with my plan.


    ¡°You¡¯ll really be okay?¡±


    ¡°I will.¡±


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll be back in a minute!¡± I nodded once again, making myself smile up at him, knowing how much that expression left him more at ease, and his lean body started to glow, diminishing in size until he was nothing but a small, black ball of fur.


    The kitten gave me one last look, as if to make sure I was still standing, and then nimbly jumped and ran towards the kitchen, the soft chime of his bell echoing in the distance, until it was suddenly gone.


    Silence surrounded me and I climbed the first few steps. Maybe if I could reach my room and sleep away the rest of the night, everything would be back to normal when morning came. That way I could easily explain what I¡¯d just seen as a very strange, very real nightmare and, once I woke up, I could go to school as if nothing had happened.


    However, the cracking sound of wooden pieces and the distant murmur of voices made me look back.


    There I was, trying to run away from reality yet again. As if doing so would solve anything! The truth was that my living room had been completely destroyed. And that, even if tomorrow everything were to be back to its original place, as had happened with my bedroom, nothing could change what had really happened.


    So I went back down, leaning against the wall for support, flattening my body against it by the door, as I tried to listen to what was going on inside.


    I heard what sounded like footsteps over shattered glass and dared lean forward to take a peek.


    ¡°You still haven¡¯t told me what you¡¯re doing here,¡± Gabriel was insisting, following the black angel with his burning gaze as he curiously strolled around the destroyed room, apparently unconcerned.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that what I should be asking you? Have you lost your mind? Or have you suddenly been overcome by an imminent death wish?¡± the angel asked, the irony heavy in his voice, and Gabriel¡¯s burning gaze glowed bright red.


    ¡°Do not test my patience, Sigweardiel.¡±


    Even I shuddered at the way he said that name, and the black angel froze, his face suddenly livid.


    ¡°Why do you think I came? To warn you, of course! I¡¯m not crazy enough to break through your barrier without having a good reason. But honestly, Izrail! What were you thinking? Staying in the same place for so long! I¡¯ve been watching over the limits of this protection of yours for over a week! And then, as if this weren¡¯t enough, you just happily go for a walk outside? It was just a matter of time!¡±


    Gabriel looked even less pleased with this news than he had been with this stranger¡¯s sudden intrusion.


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°Your younger Brother. I followed him from the coast of Africa. In the beginning he was alone, but as it turned out, he met someone on this side of the ocean. I don¡¯t really know who. You have to get out of here as soon as possible!¡±


    Gabriel finally seemed to think it was safe to get rid of his evil-looking weapon, and the spear unexpectedly crumbled, transforming into soft, black ash that lazily floated towards the ground.


    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± he simply replied and the black angel stared back at him.


    ¡°You can¡¯t? What do you mean, you can¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t!¡± he reaffirmed, giving it a final tone, and the black angel seemed to ponder for a moment.


    ¡°Is it because of that Human?¡± he finally guessed, although his skeptic tone said he didn¡¯t believe it for a second, and his dark eyes grew wide as minutes went by and there was no answer. ¡°I see. Well, if she¡¯s your Medium, just bring her with you!¡± My heart jumped, certain that I¡¯d just become the subject of their conversation.


    ¡°She is not my Medium! I refuse to use something like Mediums,¡± he calmly stated, seeming immune to the urgency sprawled all over the Mazzikin¡¯s face.


    ¡°And? Even if she isn¡¯t! If she¡¯s the one keeping you here, just bring her along!¡±


    ¡°I accepted a Contract. I can¡¯t leave.¡±


    The room was deadly silent for a long moment and I found myself holding my breath, fearing I might have been discovered.


    ¡°A Contract! You¡¯re joking! Right? You? The one who never wants to have anything to do with the Humans? And now of all times! You can¡¯t be serious!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly how it is. She is the one who broke the Seal,¡± he explained to justify the Contract binding us together, and the black angel seemed deeply displeased.


    ¡°That much I gathered! You think I didn¡¯t see it? I used to be an Iaidon, Izrail! And I still haven¡¯t lost my sight! Unlike you, who needs proofs like those, all I have to do is look,¡± he added, pointing Gabriel¡¯s pale hand, and he turned it to look at it, the red burns still marking his pale skin. ¡°As I see it, she shines enough to light up the entire room! That¡¯s why I thought you had made her your Medium. Which, let¡¯s admit, would be the smartest thing to do in your current situation. But no! Oh no! You went and accepted a Contract! Why? If you could just have taken whatever you wanted, as soon as you realized what she is, and be done with it?¡±


    Gabriel averted his gaze and my heart almost stopped. That was the question I had tried to ask him so many times and that he¡¯d always refused to reply. The same that Lea had always awkwardly told me he had no authorization to talk about. The real reason behind that Contract, and what exactly he wanted from me.


    ¡°Now that I think about it, this is all your fault,¡± Gabriel told him and the black angel seemed speechless.


    ¡°My fault?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re always going about how different they are. And, although I listened to your babbling, I could never really understand it. So, when I realized what she is, I just didn¡¯t want to destroy her.¡±


    I placed a hand over my chest, trying to calm down my raving heartbeat. Had it all been for something as simple as that? For mere curiosity about what I was? Because I was somehow ... different?


    ¡°Izrail!¡± Exasperation filled the black angel¡¯s voice and I took another peek inside. ¡°Just break that damn Contract, take whatever you want, and get out of here! What do you expect from her?¡±


    ¡°You really want me to do that? Because I¡¯m not expecting anything! What could I possibly expect from a Soul that shatters into pieces just from standing next to me?¡± Bitterness filled his velvet voice, reminding me of my last failure, and I felt sick, although I finally knew the answer to my question about how he felt as he sat there, day after day, watching me struggle against myself and, inevitably, fail.


    The room was silent once again and then the black angel released a deep sigh, leaning against what was left of a couch.


    ¡°I see,¡± he muttered, running a hand across his own face, looking suddenly too tired. ¡°No matter what I say, you will not do it, right?¡± Once again, silence was the only reply he got. ¡°And what about her Merifri? What have you done with him? Surely someone like her has a Guardian, and no Guardian I know would idly stand by and allow a Deiwos such as yourself to get this close to her.¡±


    My heart jumped at that. A Merifri? I should have a Merifri? The word Guardian tumbled in my head, which meant someone to keep me safe! Someone who should have protected me from ... him.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything. He¡¯s asleep. He was already asleep when she freed me. I guess he wouldn¡¯t have allowed her to complete the ritual, if he wasn¡¯t,¡± he answered, but still the Mazzikin seemed suspicious.


    ¡°Another Deiwos?¡±


    ¡°Honestly? It would seem that it was of his own accord. Even with my presence so close by, he has yet to awake. I could almost bet he wishes to remain asleep.¡±


    I clenched the sweater over my chest. It was like listening to some amazing tale and I could hardly make myself believe they were talking about me.


    ¡°What did I say, Izrail? About the power that beings like her hold. And she¡¯s even brighter than Jonathan! I can''t even imagine what she¡¯s still doing here!¡±


    I looked over at the other boy, who by now I¡¯d come to understand was called Jonathan. He stood exactly in the same place as before, the same posture, the same expression, the same vacant eyes. His honey-like hair was lightly waved, framing a young but inexpressive face. His brown eyes stared into nothingness, almost as if he¡¯d fallen asleep where he stood with his eyes opened.


    ¡°You know you¡¯ll never get what you truly want, right?¡± the black angel told him and Gabriel averted his gaze. It was the first time I saw him react like that, listening to what someone else had to say without false smiles, indifferent expressions or threatening glares. That black winged angel seemed to have the ability to know what he was thinking and his words weighed on him. ¡°Well, anyway, I gather that, no matter what I say, you won¡¯t be leaving here any time soon, right? So we¡¯ll stay ... and help,¡± he announced, now smiling unconcerned, and Gabriel stared back at him, this time with a silent threat in his eyes.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need your help! Lea is enough!¡±


    ¡°Nonsense! That¡¯s exactly why they Sealed you the last time. Or am I wrong?¡± he asked, sarcasm leaking out of his words, and Gabriel¡¯s eyes glowed bright red. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m not doing you any favors. You know perfectly well I want to be a part of this war as much as you do. During the time you were away, stuck who knows where, many have been erased and those who remain are all pretty much from your caste. And I still can¡¯t die!¡± Although his face was still smiling, his tone was the most serious I¡¯d heard him use the whole night.


    ¡°You want me to protect you.¡±


    ¡°But of course! If we are to make an alliance, that¡¯s to be expected. Above all, I expect you to protect Jonathan.¡±


    Gabriel looked at the boy, still motionless like a real life-size doll, and sighed.


    ¡°We¡¯ll talk about that another time, once we got rid of my stupid Brother,¡± he conceded and, although it had been far from a promise, the black angel seemed content with the way things had been solved. He stood from the broken coach where he had been half sitting and walked over to the boy, gently placing his hands over his shoulders as if he were afraid to break him.


    ¡°Jonathan?¡± he called, as softly as his voice would allow, and, almost as if he¡¯d said a magic word, the boy¡¯s body stirred back to life and I saw him move. Suddenly I had the feeling he could also see me, that he was staring right at me, and pulled myself upright once more, flattening my back against the wall, completely out of sight. ¡°Come. Sit here. I¡¯m sure you¡¯re tired.¡± I still heard him say and the sound of slow footsteps over the ruble that had been my living room¡¯s furniture made me jumpy.


    Looking around, fearing my unwanted presence might be discovered, I silently ran to the stairs. I didn¡¯t want to have to face any of them that night.


    I stormed into my bedroom and it was as if I¡¯d entered another world. In there nothing had changed, everything was exactly as I¡¯d left them. The lamp on the desk turned on. My bed half unmade. I remembered I¡¯d been about to get changed and went on from that point, as if nothing in between had actually happened, refusing to acknowledge that my alarm clock would ring in just an hour or so. I turned off the light and slid under my quilt, but, even surrounded by darkness, my eyes remained wide open. In truth, that day, everything had changed. I had changed, and I¡¯d never be the same again.

 Chapter 16

    Chapter 16


    OXO


    ¨C Vision of the rose of 49 petals, and of the Holy 12-fold Table.


    Examination of the Candidate for Master of the Temple.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°There is a voice inside me that persistently tells me that I cannot win.


    The reality around me goes way beyond my comprehension and,


    as the insignificant and mortal Human Being that I am,


    there is nothing I can do to be able to grasp it, much less change anything.


    And suddenly the word ¡®end¡¯ sounds terribly tempting, certain that, in that moment,


    I¡¯ll recover the silence and peace now lost to me.¡±


    When my alarm clock sounded I had yet to close my eyes. A pale, gray light poured from the window since I¡¯d forgotten to close the blinds.


    I stood up, my body sluggish and too sleepy to move any faster, and dragged myself towards the bathroom. I pointedly ignored the stairs as I passed them and washed my face with cold water, ending up almost sticking my head under the tap. Back to my room, I pulled a dress over my head, the first one I could reach, something I¡¯d never done before on a school day since they were all too short for my taste. That morning, however, I didn¡¯t want to have think about anything, much less matching colors and patterns, and so a dress came out as the easiest piece of clothing to wear.


    Sorting out last night¡¯s event seemed such a hard, confusing task that I didn¡¯t even make an attempt. In any case, what for? I felt very much like a marionette that, even though she could never run away, still stubbornly persisted in struggling against the strings that bound her. Things like the problem of his relationship with Steph now seemed suddenly ridiculous, and I couldn¡¯t comprehend how I¡¯d spent so much energy on something so insignificant. In truth, there was a war, somewhere, a war in which I¡¯d ended up being involved. I should also have a Guardian that had apparently abandoned me of his own free will. And, to wrap things up, Gabriel held my life in his hands, and all the freedom I thought I had was, in reality, the freedom he had chosen to give me while curiously studying me as if I were some strange, exotic animal in a zoo.


    I grabbed my books and went downstairs. Faced with all that, what was there left of me? What was I supposed to do?


    I went to the kitchen and, as soon as I appeared at the door, the voices I¡¯d been hearing from the corridor were immediately silenced. My eyes scanned that small space and the people present, but he wasn¡¯t there.


    Lea jumped from his chair, running towards me, and held the hem of my dress to call my attention.


    ¡°Mari! How are you feeling?¡±


    I lowered my head to look at him and forced a smile. He was back to looking like a small boy, the small boy I¡¯d gotten too used to having around, and that made me feel more at ease.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± I replied. Actually, I couldn¡¯t really tell. I couldn¡¯t feel much of anything.


    He seemed worried, as if my smile hadn¡¯t been convincing enough, and I looked over at the two strangers. The boy with the honey-colored hair sat at the table, as motionless as I recalled seeing him last night. The black angel stood protectively behind his chair, except he didn¡¯t look like an angel anymore, now that his black wings had completely disappeared.


    ¡°Good morning!¡± he greeted me cheerfully, running a hand across the dark-red bangs that slid over his right cheek, and Lea pulled himself closer to me, in a reassuring gesture.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Mari. You can trust him ... for now,¡± he added in a threatening tone, and the black angel made a face in a surprisingly childish response.


    ¡°You can call me Alexander,¡± he told me and I tried to remember the name Gabriel had called him, but couldn¡¯t.


    ¡°My name is Mari.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± he went on, interrupting me. ¡°Lea has been gently going over all the important things I should know about you, while threatening my life should I cause you any measure of pain or discomfort.¡± He smiled, seeming completely at ease. I gave Lea a sideways glance and saw he insisted on keeping his threatening demeanor, his eyes locked on Alexander¡¯s every move. ¡°This is Jonathan,¡± Alexander went on, referring to the boy sitting in front of him. ¡°Unlike us, Jonathan is Human, like you. So, even if you hate our entire race, please be nice to him.¡±


    ¡°Human?¡± I questioned suspiciously, watching him more closely. True, there was nothing that indicated otherwise. But that could also be said of Lea or Alexander, as long as they kept their present appearances.


    ¡°Yes. Jonathan is my Medium.¡± Medium. I¡¯d heard that word last night, but wasn¡¯t sure of what it meant. According to what I¡¯d learned after reading a bit more about magic and the occult, a medium was someone with the ability to become a bridge between the living world and the spirits or lost souls that supposedly existed in some parallel dimension. However, I wasn¡¯t quite sure that definition applied.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Gabriel?¡± I asked, indifferently changing the subject, and Lea took a step back, looking up at me with the strangest expression, as though I¡¯d said something forbidden or blasphemous.


    ¡°Gabriel? Is that how he¡¯s called around here?¡± Alexander asked, and Lea nodded, still staring wide-eyed at me.


    ¡°Yes, but not Mari,¡± he noted in a frightened low voice and I finally understood the reason behind his reaction. I rarely used his Human name. Saying it out loud always sounded too fake, like a bad lie. But, right then, I really couldn¡¯t care less.


    ¡°Hmm, well, about that. He had to go somewhere and asked me to look after you,¡± Alexander informed me, still with that smile that always failed to reach his almond-shaped eyes.


    So, he wasn¡¯t at home. And I could feel it in the air that they were telling the truth. That was all I needed to know. I¡¯d speak with him later then. After all, I¡¯d already made up my mind. I was too tired to go on with that charade any further.


    I opened the fridge and took out the yogurt box, placing it on the table along with a handful of spoons I grabbed from the drawer.


    ¡°Take whatever you want,¡± I told them coldly, choosing a yogurt for me, and left, carrying my books under an arm.


    I heard Lea¡¯s bell following me, but then he seemed to think it over and decided to leave me alone. In my mind I could easily picture his desolated expression, but I¡¯d already decided not to go over myself any longer, not even for Lea¡¯s sake. I was sure that if I didn¡¯t take a stand something irreplaceable deep inside me would end up breaking and simply disappear.


    I stopped by the living room door while shoving spoonfuls of yogurt down my throat. Utter chaos greeted me between pieces of broken wood, torn pillows and shattered glass. At least they hadn¡¯t tried to make it look like nothing had happened.


    I finished my yogurt while disinterestedly observing that post-war scenario, and left the empty cup on the first step of the stairs, ready to go to school.


    I hadn¡¯t taken more than two steps outside the house when the front door closed again right behind me. And then Alexander was walking beside me. I glanced at him sideways. At least he dressed according to the weather, I noticed, wearing a dark-brown heavy coat that reached knee length. Under it I could see the gray wool of a sweater and I thought I saw him shiver when the cold wind blew his red bangs, releasing his dark gaze from the shadows they cast. His face was young, and beautiful, but a beauty that could easily be considered possible for a Human, unlike Gabriel, who looked more like a statue carved by some master of the arts. If it weren¡¯t for the peculiar color of his eyes, that once under the shadow of his bangs looked almost black, no one would ever guess he was far from being just like everyone else.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask?¡± he finally questioned me, wincing as the cold nipped at his skin.


    ¡°Ask what?¡±


    ¡°Questions, of course,¡± he replied in an almost insulting way that somehow irked me.


    ¡°Is that why you¡¯re here?¡± My words were filled with irony as I glared up at him.


    ¡°No, not really, I guess,¡± he said with that smile again. ¡°I just thought you might have questions, since Izrail has real problems where the use of words is concerned,¡± he added in that sarcastic tone that, by now, I¡¯d concluded to be usual for him.


    ¡°Why? Is that another of your studies? See what kind of questions she¡¯ll make if someone offers to answer?¡± He didn¡¯t answer and anger filled all the empty places inside me, which was actually much better than the apathy I¡¯d felt since last night. ¡°Because in the end that¡¯s all this is, right? Because I¡¯m somehow different, he decided to make me into some lab rat. ¡®Oh, let¡¯s see how Mariane reacts if I destroy her room! Wait, no, let¡¯s see how Mariane reacts if I threaten to kill her friends! Oh, and how about sending her mother all the way to Paris? Better yet! Let¡¯s get rid of all her clothes and make her wear whatever pleases me! And while we¡¯re at that, why not screw her best friend?¡¯ Well, enough is enough! He can have whatever he wants, as long as he disappears from my life!¡± I unloaded all in one single breath, and gasped for air, my heart beating too fast, too painfully.


    ¡°Things aren¡¯t that simple,¡± he said wearily, apparently impervious to my angry tantrum. ¡°Besides, I really don¡¯t think that that¡¯s the case.¡±


    ¡°And what do you know? You just got here!¡± I pointed out and he raised his head to look up at the gray sky above us.


    ¡°Unlike you, I know him. In some ways, I know him better than he knows himself. Because normally he doesn¡¯t really think about the reasons behind his actions. Besides, the way you¡¯re talking, it almost sounds like you see yourself as a mere, innocent victim. I hope you know you¡¯re not. Because if you do, then you¡¯re a much more selfish Soul than I¡¯d given you credit for.¡±Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    My feet froze and I glared at him, frowning.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°What do I mean?¡± he repeated, turning to face me. ¡°Well, weren¡¯t you the one who released him? Even if it was something unexpected, it was still a consequence of your actions. Yours and no one else¡¯s. And the price of an evocation like the one you preformed is the Soul of the summoner. Whatever his reasons are, he saved your eternity by accepting this Contract. And, to fulfill it, he¡¯s been stuck here, even though he knows he¡¯s being hunted. Or are you that petty that you can¡¯t see beyond your own bellybutton? And all because we¡¯re different. Were he Human, like you, I¡¯m sure you¡¯d try harder to understand.¡±


    I stood there, in silence, shivering inside. I¡¯d often wondered if our situation, which I tended to see from my point of view, wasn¡¯t something hard for him to withstand as well. After all, if I was bound to him, he was bound to me as well. But now, hearing him say those things so directly made me unable to simply shrug and put those ideas aside, like I always did. And that scared me.


    ¡°I understand you may feel tired,¡± he continued in a more appeasing tone. ¡°That you may be confused. That you may not feel like fighting any longer, or trying to find a way out of this colossal mess. But if you¡¯re just going to give up on taking charge of your own life and just let yourself be dragged by the torrents around you, then he might as well never have taken the time to try and save your Soul. At least it would have saved us all a lot of time and trouble.¡±


    I felt a knot tighten around my throat and I turned away. I knew if my tear ducts were anywhere near normal, I¡¯d be crying by then. This was all so unfair.


    ¡°When you say it like that, it almost sounds like all this is for me,¡± I blurted out bitterly. ¡°To save me or something. And that I should be thankful!¡±


    ¡°No, of course not. I won¡¯t deny that the reason why Izrail accepted this Contract was far from innocent or pure. But that¡¯s not the question. I¡¯m talking about your attitude. From what I know about Human Beings, especially those like you, that passivism and defeat are way out of character. I understand it¡¯s the easiest way, but it¡¯s also the wrong one. And if fighting things head on doesn¡¯t work, why not try finding a way around it?¡± I raised my face, allowing the cold wind to brush over my skin. I wasn¡¯t sure I was strong enough to stand up, pick up all the broken pieces and try to find a new way to survive all that. Disappearing inside myself was, in fact, the easiest solution.


    ¡°Is ... Izrail even his true name?¡± I asked and, since he didn¡¯t answer, I stared back at him. He looked uncertain. ¡°Questions! You said you would answer, remember?¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, yes!¡± he nodded, smiling and looking content. We resumed walking, talking amiably as if we¡¯d known each other forever. ¡°Izrail, right. If you¡¯re asking if it¡¯s his true name, then no, it¡¯s not. But it is one of his names. As with all Shedim, he has seven names. But I¡¯m sure you already know this. You, unlike me, must know his real name. After all, you¡¯re the one who evoked him. And no evocation is possible unless one¡¯s real name is used.¡±


    ¡°So, I¡¯m supposed to know it?¡± I mused, recalling that strange sentence filled with foreign words. Maybe his name was hidden in one of those words, I wondered.


    ¡°You mean you don¡¯t remember it?¡± he asked, intrigued, and I pulled the collar of my coat up to guard my neck from the cold, bitter wind.


    ¡°That¡¯s not really it. I just don¡¯t know exactly what I read. If his name was in there, I have no way to identify it.¡±


    ¡°Then, you didn¡¯t know what you were doing when you evoked him?!¡± he asked and I stopped once more to look at him in outrage.


    ¡°Of course not! Who, in his perfect mind, would do such a thing?! All I wanted, all I wanted ...¡± I stammered. All I wanted was for Michael to look my way. Only once would had been enough. ¡°Anyway, it doesn¡¯t matter anymore. And what about you? Did you come to kill him like that other Mazzikin?¡± I asked, changing the subject and he accompanied me with much smaller steps.


    Alexander laughed cheerfully. ¡°Kill him? Me? Not even if I wished it with all my strength. I¡¯d never have enough power to do it. Not that I¡¯d ever do it, even if I could.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked, tilting my head to better see his face, and he smiled again, a real smile this time that made his face look even younger and more beautiful.


    ¡°Izrail spared my life and helped me when I most needed it. My debt to him is so big that if he asked me to die for him, right now, I wouldn¡¯t be able to deny him.¡± I waited silently for him to go on and he looked at me, smiling slyly, noticing I was eager to listen to what he had to say. ¡°If you want to know more, have lunch with me.¡±


    I frowned at what almost sounded like a poor pick-up line and he smiled again.


    ¡°We¡¯re arriving at your school and this is a very long talk,¡± he pointed out. ¡°And I do not dare talk about these things anywhere within Izrail¡¯s hearing range.¡± He cringed at the idea, as though expecting someone to hit him.


    ¡°All right, then.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be close by the entire morning, just in case. And, if everything goes all right, I¡¯ll be waiting for you by the gate.¡± I nodded and he walked me up to the entrance.


    It was only when I saw Stephanie, waiting there, that I realized Gabriel was probably going to skip school, and that I¡¯d be the one everyone would turn to in search of a justification. Steph seemed to think so as well and, as soon as she noticed that he wasn¡¯t the one keeping me company, she strode like an arrow towards me, hands clenched in tight fists as if ready to hit me.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Gabriel?¡± she demanded in a clearly accusatory tone. Having to face her cold eyes and angry expression was real hard to bear.


    ¡°Good morning,¡± I greeted her as always, but she ignored me, stepping even closer, almost threateningly.


    ¡°Where is he?¡±


    ¡°I really don¡¯t know, Steph. But I¡¯m guessing he¡¯s not coming today,¡± I tried to explain, but her angry expression made it clear the matter was far from over.


    ¡°What do you mean you don¡¯t know? Aren¡¯t you the one sleeping with him?¡± she went on, her voice rising almost to a shriek, making everyone turn to look at us. I felt the blood drain from my face. I already hated being the center of attention as it was, and her accusations would certainly make me the subject of gossip all over school, again! Above all, was that what she really thought of me? Steph, who knew me so well.


    ¡°Stephanie! What are you saying?¡± another voice questioned, sounding almost angry, and I felt a weight being lifted from my chest. Michael walked up to us with his steady stride and placed himself protectively at my side. ¡°You know you¡¯re talking nonsense! And knowing Gabriel as you do, you really think he would go around justifying himself just because he decided to ditch class? Today is the last day of school. He probably just decided to start his holidays a bit sooner,¡± he practically scolded her and Steph frowned, clearly disgruntled about how her scene had turned out, and simply marched away.


    I took a deep breath and turned to Michael, making myself smile.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I sincerely told him, all too aware of the quantity of eyes still staring disapprovingly at us. Michael smiled, his usual warm smile, and placed a caring hand on my head.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. Good morning, Mari.¡± His light filled me up inside, making me feel more calm and reassured.


    A swift movement I could hardly see made me blink and, in the next moment, Michael¡¯s warm hand wasn¡¯t touching me anymore, leaving that cold sensation in its place, as if a shadow had fallen over me. Half lost, I searched for that miraculous hand, wishing he would touch me again, and found it tightly locked in Alexander¡¯s grip, his dark eyes staring threateningly, almost hatefully, at Michael¡¯s bewildered face.


    ¡°Alexander! What are you doing?¡± I demanded, panicking, and pulled his arm as if that could make him release Michael¡¯s wrist.


    ¡°You ... have no right to touch her!¡± Alexander growled in the most menacing tone I¡¯d ever heard, and I looked around urgently, seeing in the faces of my schoolmates the beginnings of yet another rumor about my collection of lovers.


    ¡°Stop it! This instant!¡± I commanded as fiercely as I could without raising my voice, hitting him on the shoulder, his hard muscles probably feeling very little of that, and he finally released him. ¡°Who do you think you are?¡±


    My heart drummed in my throat, my face burning even in the cold morning; and then Michael placed a hand on my shoulder, and all my anger magically disappeared.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Mari. I¡¯m sure your friend is only worried about you,¡± Michael calmly remarked and stretched out a friendly hand towards Alexander. ¡°My name is Michael. I¡¯m one of Mari¡¯s classmates.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help feeling sad with his classification of our relationship. Not even friend, I thought sadly.


    Alexander stared at his outstretched hand, hate pouring unmasked from his expression, and slapped it away, the sound echoing around us.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather die than having to shake hands with someone like you!¡± he spat with pure hostility, leaving me no time to feel depressed. Gabriel had never been anything but polite and cordial with everyone around me, accepting all my classmates with equal patience and tolerance. Alexander, however, remained intransigent to Michael¡¯s presence, the fierce glow in his eyes making it ever so clear its dark-red color. And then he simply turned around in disgust and walked away, to my relief.


    My mind immediately raced again, in search of adequate excuses and explanations. I turned back to Michael, who still looked rather shocked at having been the target of such open animosity.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, Michael,¡± I said, smiling apologetically and held the hand that had been so violently slapped.


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s fine. I guess he didn¡¯t like me all that much,¡± he mused and smiled, back to his composed self. ¡°Still, that really took me by surprise. I don¡¯t recall ever being treated like this.¡±


    ¡°Please don¡¯t take it personally! He¡¯s always like that.¡± I kept my smile firmly in place, even though I knew nothing about Alexander. ¡°He¡¯ll probably be all over you next time, treating you like you were his best friend. I guess he¡¯s bipolar or something. And he has the bad habit of saying the first thing that comes into his head.¡±


    Michael laughed, amused with my description, and we began walking towards the north building.


    ¡°The way you talk about him, it almost makes it sound like he¡¯s really crazy.¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s because he is!¡± I confirmed. The one who was going crazy was me, I thought.


    ¡°Have you known him for long?¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, since I was a child.¡± More lies. And the natural way they left my lips made me feel depressed. ¡°To tell you the truth, he is more Gabriel¡¯s friend. He came to visit him over the holidays. And, since Gabriel decided to ditch school, he offered to accompany me.¡± I hoped it would be a plausible explanation, and Michael nodded.


    ¡°So, he¡¯s staying with you guys all through the holidays?¡± Not the kind of question Michael would normally ask, I thought, but he seemed to be aware of that as well. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to pry.¡±


    ¡°No! Not at all!¡± I hurriedly countered. ¡°I really don¡¯t know how long he¡¯s staying.¡±


    ¡°Hmm. I see.¡± He mused silently for a moment. ¡°You know, to tell you the truth, I also didn¡¯t like him all that much.¡± He sounded almost guilty for feeling like that, and I couldn¡¯t help stare at him. It was the first time I¡¯d ever heard Michael say he didn¡¯t like someone. Normally, from his point of view, people around him were either important to him or plainly indifferent. ¡°And it has nothing to do with his stuck-up attitude,¡± he continued. ¡°I guess it was kind of funny being so outright rejected by someone I don¡¯t even know. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ve lived through that many times before, but since I can¡¯t recall any of that, it was kind of a new experience for me. But he gives out an ... oppressive sensation.¡± His green eyes focused on something unseen as he searched for the right words to describe what he¡¯d felt. ¡°It¡¯s hard to explain. But it¡¯s like something is terribly wrong, something out of place, maybe something that shouldn¡¯t even be.¡± He had lowered his voice, but then he was smiling again, his bright eyes looking straight at me. ¡°Well, I guess I¡¯m just being paranoid. Will I see you after school?¡± he asked, changing the subject.


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m sorry, I can¡¯t today,¡± I excused myself which, by then, was no surprise to him, even though disappointment always took over his face.


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t see you till after the holidays?¡± he asked, looking like an abandoned puppy, and I forced my brightest smile to take over my lips.


    ¡°But of course you will! You have my phone number, right? We¡¯ll arrange something,¡± I suggested and his expression became immediately brighter.


    ¡°You won¡¯t mind if I call?¡±


    ¡°Of course not!¡± I answered vehemently. Those were probably the truest words I¡¯d said all morning.


    ¡°It¡¯s a deal then. I¡¯ll see you soon!¡± he stated full of confidence, and leaned towards me to place a warm kiss on my cheek.


    I just stood there, my heart beating like crazy, my cheek tingling and warm, and watched as he walked away. I loved him so much, and yet my love only seemed to bring him pain.


    The rest of morning went by as in recent days, with Steph wallowing in her own foul mood and Joanne ignoring the both of us. When the bell rang I made sure to go to the cafeteria just to say goodbye to my friends. I asked for their forgiveness for ditching our last meal together before the large separation that followed, and everyone forgave me immediately, between promises of meeting during the holidays, promises I knew I¡¯d probably never fulfill.


    When I reached the school gate, Alexander was already there, leaning his tall body against the fence, smiling as if nothing had happened, and attracting too much attention for my taste.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at https://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 17

    Chapter 17


    VTA


    ¨C The Vision of the City of the Pyramids.


    The Reception of the Master of the Temple.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°If Knowledge weighs this much, carving daggers of eternal ice deep inside,


    wouldn¡¯t it be better to just remain ignorant?


    And so we would live in immortal darkness, not wishing for anything that weren¡¯t right there, within our reach;


    and we would truly smile, happy with what little we would have.


    Then why do we stubbornly look for answers that will only bring us pain;


    answers that indisputably reaffirm just how insignificant and feeble our existence really is?¡±


    "Welcome back,¡± he addressed me with a light bow of his head, and I frowned, reminding myself that I was still angry at his earlier behavior.


    ¡°What the hell was that this morning?¡± I demanded and my question immediately erased his smile.


    ¡°Shall we go?¡± He didn¡¯t even wait for an answer before walking away and I had to run to catch up with him. ¡°On my way here, I saw a small dinner not far from here. We¡¯ll probably be able to get something to eat there.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t change the subject!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°If you really must know, I simply didn¡¯t like him.¡±


    ¡°Simply didn¡¯t like him? Are you insane? You can¡¯t just go around hitting people without a reason, just because you don¡¯t like them! Besides, you don¡¯t even know him!¡±


    ¡°Fine. I won¡¯t do it again,¡± he replied nonchalantly, making my nerves stand on end. ¡°Does Izrail know this Michael?¡±


    I frowned defensively at his question. What did that have to do with anything? ¡°Sure! Why?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s okay then. Maybe he¡¯ll give me permission to erase him once and for all.¡±


    I felt my heart jump in panic at the idea.


    ¡°You can¡¯t!¡± I almost shouted, holding him back by his arm. ¡°You just can¡¯t! Besides, he¡¯ll never allow it!¡± I declared as my sudden panic gave way to rational thought. ¡°He¡¯ll never allow you to hurt Michael!¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah? And why¡¯s that? If I didn¡¯t like him, I can only imagine what Izrail thinks of him,¡± he replied sarcastically, and I kept my fear at bay, holding on to my recent decision to implicitly trust Gabriel¡¯s word.


    ¡°Gabriel knows Michael very well! We¡¯ve spent a lot of time together,¡± I stated as convincingly as possible and he seemed surprised.


    ¡°The three of you?¡±


    ¡°Yes! Plus a few of Michael¡¯s friends. Besides, even if you were right and he were to agree with you, he wouldn¡¯t allow you to hurt him!¡±


    ¡°Because of the Contract?¡± he asked and his dark eyes glowed coldly. ¡°I¡¯m not bound by any Contract. I can do as I please.¡±


    ¡°But you want him to get what he wants, right? And what he wants depends on this Contract. And if you hurt Michael, then this Contract will never be fulfilled. It will end up being void, or something. I don¡¯t think he would really appreciate that,¡± I argued to the best of my abilities and his elongated eyes opened wide.


    ¡°This Michael ... is he the Contract? Is he your wish?¡± I felt my cheeks burn and looked away. ¡°Jesus!¡± he muttered with a sharp gasp and fell silent for a moment. ¡°But now everything makes sense,¡± he concluded and I looked up at him inquisitively. What did? To me nothing ever made any sense at all! ¡°Are you in love with this Michael, Mari?¡± I walked a bit faster, trying to avoid his prying eyes. ¡°I see ...¡±


    ¡°And what¡¯s wrong with that?¡± I demanded defensively.


    ¡°Nothing wrong, certainly not from your point of view,¡± he responded, easily keeping up with my pace. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t do anything against your Michael. To tell you the truth, I¡¯m not in the habit of meddling in other people¡¯s business. I have enough problems of my own as it is. It¡¯s just that ... he really annoys me! And I rarely feel annoyed. Don¡¯t judge.¡± He gave me a crooked smile as reply to my critical expression. ¡°Things are not always what they seem, as you may very well find out one of these days.¡± His words sounded more like a threat than a promise. ¡°Ah, look. It¡¯s right there,¡± he said, enthusiastically, pointing to a small door on a yellow painted wall, and urged me towards it. I added a mental note to the already long list of questions I¡¯d compiled during morning class. If he was offering questions, I wasn¡¯t about to let that subject slide just like that.


    We sat at a table for two in a small, almost empty establishment in spite of the hour, and a middle-aged man brought us the menu. I didn¡¯t dwindle much over its contents, too focused on what was to come, and chose a baked fish dish garnished with some healthy greens. Incredibly, the apparently young man sitting across me ordered three full sets, all different from one another, just for him! The waiter seemed to share my thoughts as he took our order, asking us if we were expecting anyone else. Which clearly wasn¡¯t the case, seeing that Alexander had made a point to ask for a table for two. As soon as we were alone, he reached for a piece of bread and started an intricate fight with a small pack of butter. I sighed before his bewildered expression as he stared at the small thing, and took it from his hands before it could become mush, opening it easily.


    ¡°Oh, one is always learning,¡± he noted pleasantly, making sure all the other packs had the same small corner unstuck to make it easier to open, and spread a generous layer of butter over his bread. ¡°So, where were we this morning?¡± he asked, almost eagerly, and I wondered how come he was so willing to talk about things that Gabriel had always avoided and Lea hadn¡¯t been allowed to discuss.


    I pulled a notebook from under my pile of schoolbooks and opened it to the page where, during class, I¡¯d compiled the many subjects I wanted to go through. He peered curiously at the white sheet, an eyebrow shooting up, and laughed.


    ¡°What? You said you¡¯d give me answers!¡± I argued in my defense. ¡°Well, I have a lot of questions!¡± He smiled, amused.


    ¡°I see. You know, Mari, I guess you¡¯re kind of interesting, after all.¡± My hands froze over the scribbled paper. Interesting. That was the adjective he always used.


    ¡°Interesting, me?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I guess. To tell you the truth, I thought you would react much worse to our sudden appearance,¡± he said, referring to himself and Jonathan, and I glued my eyes on my list of questions. I had reacted badly enough, as I recalled, really bad. He himself had just saved me from the edge of yet another precipice just that morning. Hadn¡¯t he noticed it?


    ¡°Reacting bad. By now I¡¯m not even sure of what that means,¡± I finally remarked. ¡°Besides, I¡¯ve been living in the same house as Gabriel for more than one month. I guess I¡¯m at the point where I no longer know how I should react anymore.¡±


    He laughed lightly, capturing my attention. His laughter was warm and friendly, so unlike Gabriel¡¯s cold and sneering smiles.


    ¡°Yeah, I can imagine it hasn¡¯t been easy,¡± he confided. ¡°Izrail can be difficult at times.¡± He sounded almost like a father talking about his misbehaved child, and I took that chance to bombard him with one of my questions.


    ¡°You said he has seven names. What are the others?¡± I asked and he smiled, reaching for another piece of bread. My face flushed, aware I hadn¡¯t been subtle at all in the way I¡¯d changed subjects, but he didn¡¯t mention it.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know all of them. No one does. Actually, you¡¯re the first person I know who knows his true name, and, frustrating enough, it¡¯s the same as if you didn¡¯t.¡± He sounded as if he''d hoped I could share it with him and took a bite of his butter-coated bread. ¡°Izrail is the name everyone uses to call him within the clan. But I also heard others calling him Erebos, Enky and Skylar. I suppose it all depends on who¡¯s calling and what that individual sees when he looks at him. I should probably also call him Skylar, as it is.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°All our names have meanings. And Skylar means protector.¡±


    ¡°Protector?¡± It was hard to connect such a frightening creature like him with that word.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. I believe that¡¯s where we more or less were before I dropped you at school this morning. The reason why I owe him such a big debt, to the point of not being able to deny him my own life, should he ask for it.¡± I nodded in agreement and Alexander took a deep breath, squeezing a piece of bread into a small ball between his fingers. ¡°I gather, by our previous talk, that the cat told you about our castes?¡± he wondered, referring to Lea. ¡°Well then, just shortly after I fell, becoming what you see now, I was hunted by a Se¡¯irim.¡±


    ¡°The ones that were once Humans,¡± I wanted to confirm and he nodded.


    ¡°Yes. Se¡¯irim can be very vicious, you see, and one of their main hobbies is hunting down recently fallen Mazzikin. Because those are very hard, very confusing moments, and also when we are at our weakest.¡±


    I tried as hard as possible to accept all he was telling me without my usual attempts at escaping reality.


    My gaze fell to his hands, still playing with that piece of bread, so close to mine that I couldn¡¯t help watching it in wonder. He sat so close to me and yet I felt fine. If I thought about it, I could feel a slight tingling at the tips of my fingers and at the base of my neck, but nothing else. What was it with standing close to Gabriel that plunged me into such mad darkness? Although a Deiwos, like Gabriel and Lea, the air surrounding Alexander was light, even pleasant, leaving me completely at ease, maybe too at ease, since I didn¡¯t really know him and he was, after all, still a demon.


    ¡°But why?¡± I asked as he seemed hesitant to go on. ¡°Why hunt you down?¡± His answer was postponed by our waiter¡¯s return. The man placed four fuming and deliciously smelling plates on the table and, once more, threw a dubious sideways glance towards Alexander, probably convinced that he¡¯d never be able to finish all of it and that half the food would end up in the garbage.


    Alexander seemed to hardly notice it, rubbing his hands together as he gladly contemplated his small feast. He looked undecided for a moment, trying to choose from where to start, and pulled one of the plates closer, grinning almost like a kid. The man, still by our table, snorted in disbelief and walked away. I, too, was having a hard time believing that someone with his appearance would be able to eat all that. On the other hand, I mentally added with a bitter grin, by now I should know better than to doubt anything, where they were concerned.


    I absently picked on my fish, driving some of it into my mouth, while waiting for him to go on.


    ¡°This is without a doubt one of the best things of your world,¡± he commented almost dreamily, a smile stretching from side to side on his face, and I looked down at his plate.


    ¡°Food?¡±


    ¡°Tasty food with no secondary effects,¡± he answered and laughed at my grimace as I tried to picture what kind of secondary effects their food could possibly have. ¡°Well, where were we? Ah, yes, you asked why they hunt us. I guess because it¡¯s an easy and fast way to please the Shedim. They are at the top of our hierarchy. They are what you Humans would call nobility.¡±


    ¡°Nobility,¡± I repeated under my breath, unable to stop myself from feeling kind of impressed.


    ¡°They usually offer us to the Shedim as a way to guarantee future favors.¡±


    ¡°And what do they do with you? Slaves?¡± I tried to guess, already picturing some dark-age society, chains and whips included, and Alexander smiled gently.


    ¡°They eat us,¡± he plainly told me between two mouthfuls, and I felt the blood drain from my face, making me queasy. My ever-ready-for-some-more-escaping mind told me I probably hadn¡¯t heard correctly. ¡°I see that the cat didn¡¯t tell you about this,¡± he calmly observed with pity in his eyes.


    ¡°Eat, but ...¡± I stammered and my body convulsed into a shudder as I imagined Gabriel¡¯s figure, all white, tall and lean, devouring something so similar to a Human Being.


    ¡°Yes. But only because that¡¯s the faster and most effective way to rapidly gain power. I guess you can see it as a way of transferring power, or stealing it would be the accurate word.¡± He was apparently unfazed by the gruesome implications of his words and I stared blankly at my plate. He kept eating, eagerly. I¡¯d just lost my appetite. ¡°I understand this may be shocking to you. But it¡¯s really quite normal for us, even amongst the Merifri, your angels.¡± My shock was even greater and I stared at him gapping.


    He smiled and went on. ¡°Merifri, like Deiwos, are also divided into castes and have their own hierarchy. Of course, for ethical reasons, they do not eat each other as openly and frequently as Deiwos do. You see, Merifri live by a stronger, unchallengeable set of rules. Which, of course, also includes the when and who they are allowed to eat. Traditionally, their inferior caste, the Micaloz, that could be compared with the Ruhim since they¡¯re also immaterial, aren¡¯t even regarded as living beings and their only mission is to grant more power to the Merifri that, by merit, are deemed worthy of it.¡±


    I flattened a hand across my lips, feeling sick. Ruhim was Lea¡¯s caste. How could they do such a barbaric thing? I clearly remembered his child-like voice when he¡¯d told me about how unhappy and limited his existence had been, before Gabriel had granted him a body. But, even then, he had been alive! He had felt things, had thoughts, had seen the world! And he had felt fear; cold, terrifying, constant fear. Now I understood why.


    ¡°Mari, you must understand that, contrary to what you Humans think, your concept of good and evil applies strictly to you,¡± he added. ¡°For us, that doesn¡¯t even make sense. Not for Merifri and certainly not for Deiwos.¡±


    ¡°So, they took you to him ... for him...¡± I courageously struggled for the right words and Alexander nodded with a smile.


    ¡°Yes. Because Izrail is very powerful, even among his caste. As it seems his mother was a Shedim of incredible power. As for his father, as customary, no one knows exactly who he is. But most believe that he is the son of the clan leader himself. Which, I might add, is probably true. No one can really believe that he¡¯d allow any other male to plant his seed in such a high quality female. Whatever the case, Izrail has always been regarded with very high expectations. They were all hoping he¡¯d be immensely strong, even before his birth. And, as a child, he was raised to be just that.¡±


    ¡°Lea told me that the Mazzikin take care of the children,¡± I offered fearfully, starting to understand that things weren¡¯t at all that linear, and Alexander snorted sardonically.


    ¡°Take care. That cat can really put things pleasantly.¡±


    My heart beat anxiously. What kind of world was that? Truly hell, I thought, my fingers tightly wrapped around my fork and knife as if to give me courage to just keep listening. And yet, if that was the truth, then it was the truth that I had searched for so long, in books and on the internet. I couldn¡¯t run away, now that she¡¯d found her way to me.


    ¡°Did you know that, in the beginning, Shedim were born of trees?¡± Alexander continued. ¡°Much like all the fruits you know.¡± He had a nostalgic smile on his face, and I tried to imagine a tree, heavy with fruits that were actually beings. ¡°Those were the ones we still call originals. The same happens with the Iaida, the Merifri¡¯s highest caste. But the trees of the Shedim withered away, because they started reproducing between themselves. Some say it was a divine curse, since, to both Deiwos and Merifri, intercourse is forbidden.¡±


    ¡°The Law.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Alexander confirmed with a smile. ¡°However, after the trees of the Shedim withered away, there was really only one way left to create a new Shedim, much the same way all the living beings of your world do it. But, as it still is forbidden, the female carrying the child never survives the birth. I believe you can easily see how this can change the way a society is structured. A female¡¯s only purpose became conceiving a child. They are exchanged, sold and bought according to their power. A clan is considered as strong as the sum of the power of its members. And, since females inevitably die, power is measured only through males. Larger, more powerful clans can buy more powerful females to produce a new generation even more powerful, if possible. And so on.¡±


    ¡°And he ... was one of these children,¡± I muttered.


    ¡°As were all of his caste. However, and because the clan leader had high expectations about Izrail, his training was especially severe. Shedim will only develop new powers if they are stimulated in that direction. And that¡¯s what the Mazzikin are for. As soon as they start to walk, all Shedim male children are placed in huge houses, far away in some remote place. Then Mazzikin are sent to them with only one mission at hand ¡ª to kill them.¡± I held my breath and stared at him, stunned. What did he mean? ¡°Of course they start up with the weakest Mazzikin,¡± he clarified, as if that would make any difference. ¡°And they all have a time line to keep, which is considered the necessary time for a child to achieve enough power to survive.¡±


    ¡°And if they can¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°Then they die,¡± he calmly replied and I shuddered. ¡°Either the child dies, or the Mazzikin dies. That¡¯s how things work, until the surviving children are strong enough the leave the houses by their own power. In the end, to do so, they have to pass a last test, and kill the Shedim guarding their door. Only the strongest are allowed to survive. And, those that do, are then taken before the clan leader, and the Law is explained to them, and complete obedience is demanded. Since all the clans are ruled by the law of the strongest, there are many who try to take over the clan leader¡¯s position and, the only way to do so, is by gaining yet more power. The clan leader himself has a personal army of Se¡¯irim and Mazzikin to hunt for him. And punishments for disobedience are often being eaten by someone else.


    ¡°In my case, however, they gave me to Izrail more as a challenge,¡± he went on as I swallowed hard. ¡°As it seems, even though he is as strong as everyone expected, he never showed any intentions of further increasing his power. Once freed from his training, he left the main settlement and isolated himself in some remote place. The power he wields is immense, but everyone knows that it could be even greater, should he choose to cultivate it. For this reason, Izrail has always been envied by many, and feared as a rival by most. From assassins sent in the middle of the night to treacherous requests for alliances or even direct challenges, even far from the politics and plots surrounding the ruling class, I¡¯ve never seen him have a minute¡¯s rest. I was given to him by the clan leader himself, in hopes he might finally start doing what someone of his stand should do. But Izrail didn¡¯t eat me. As it seems, it was the same with that cat.¡±


    ¡°Lea, too? Was given to him ... for that?¡± I struggled. Besides being too much information for my bewildered head, the shock kept muddling my ability to think.


    ¡°Yes. But that was before me.¡±


    ¡°Then he ... he never ...¡± I stammered again and Alexander shrugged, pulling another plate in front of him. The other one was already empty, I noticed absentmindedly.


    ¡°That I don¡¯t know. All I know is that he didn¡¯t eat me. Quite the opposite. He allowed me to stay in that dark, empty house of his, until I regained my strength. He patiently explained to me how things worked around there. I read a lot and his library helped me a great deal, in terms of making sense of the new world I¡¯d been thrown into. Besides that, he showed interest when I told him about Jonathan, whom I had been forced to leave behind. And, when I asked him, he helped me return here so I could come and get him. After that, when I took him with me, he protected him when I couldn¡¯t. As I¡¯m sure you can imagine, a living Human Being is something rather rare around there.¡±


    I took a deep breath and tried to unknot my wrapped stomach. Alexander, on the other hand, went on happily with his lunch, completely immune to the dark theme of our conversation. It was almost as if what he told me didn¡¯t concern him, as if it were someone else¡¯s magic tale.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ¡°So, that¡¯s why ... Skylar,¡± I clarified. The protector. Now, there was a hard concept to grasp.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know who first called him that. But it would seem that, over time, he spared many Ruhim, and that¡¯s how he¡¯s known among them.¡±


    ¡°Like Lea.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Although in Lea¡¯s case, he went to the point of giving him a body. Now, that¡¯s something that has always spiked my interest. I¡¯m guessing you know that Ruhim are created by the unrestrained wishes of Humans, wishes that led to negative actions and emotions.¡± I nodded and he went on. ¡°Did that cat tell you about his true nature? About what kind of wishes gave way to his existence?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I replied and he smiled softly.


    ¡°Suileabhan was completely created by other children¡¯s wishes, hence his child-like appearance. Even in his feline shape, he¡¯s still just a kitten.¡±


    ¡°What kind of wishes?¡± I insisted and Alexander pulled his third plate closer as I blinked in astonishment. He¡¯d gone over his second dish even faster than his first.


    ¡°Wishes of being loved, related to the pain of having been abandoned, connected with feelings of rage, anger and vengeance. He is like the inner voice of all the children who never knew neither love nor the feeling of protection they should have had from those who were supposed to be there for them. Although he may just look like some annoying kid, Suileabhan is truly unstable and dangerous. He¡¯s only apparently contained thanks to Izrail, who, in accepting him, answered his most inner desire, the one at the foundation of his entire being. I don¡¯t even want to think about what would happen should Izrail refuse him or simply disappear. Better yet, I really don¡¯t want to be anywhere near when that happens.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help think that he must be exaggerating. Lea could never hurt anyone!


    ¡°I don¡¯t think that will be a problem,¡± I said. ¡°I think that ... he loves Lea very much.¡± I searched for the right word. I wasn¡¯t sure that Human feelings like love could apply to someone like him, or if they were enough to describe the emotions I saw in his face, every time he looked at that child.


    ¡°Yes. And Suileabhan is eternally grateful to him and obviously adores him. But still, I can¡¯t help think that, somehow, Izrail identifies with him. That cat was the only living creature roaming around his house when I was taken there. All the others that came, over time, no matter how grateful they were that he¡¯d spared them, always left as soon as possible.¡± I smiled briefly as I recalled what Lea had told me about the dark, empty house his Master inhabited, and the reason why he¡¯d decided to wear his golden bell.


    ¡°But he was Sealed for some time, right?¡± I reminded Alexander, who nodded.


    ¡°For about eighty of your years.¡±


    ¡°What about Lea? If it¡¯s as you say, what happened to him during this time?¡±


    ¡°Izrail put him to sleep.¡± He saw my shocked look and laughed, clearly making fun of me. I looked away, blushing, and Alexander took a deep breath. ¡°You¡¯re really funny, you know? I hadn¡¯t had this much fun in a long time.¡± Well, at least I wasn¡¯t just interesting anymore, I thought critically. ¡°I really miss these kinds of things. Only a Human Being will react like that,¡± he declared which only contributed to my increasing frustration. ¡°It was the last thing he did. I suppose he knew all too well what would happen if he left that cat alone. Besides, no one could tell with certainty how long he¡¯d be locked up in that dimension.¡±


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you release him?¡± I demanded, slightly accusingly. If he¡¯d done it, I wouldn¡¯t be in that position right now. ¡°If you knew what happened, why didn¡¯t you break him free?¡±


    ¡°Because I couldn¡¯t. We¡¯re never able to break Seals cast by other Deiwos. Only the one who did it could have undone it. Not even the strongest of the Shedim would have been able to set him free,¡± he said and the way he did it clearly pointed towards the obvious conclusion ¡ª that, somehow, I held more power than the strongest of his kind.


    ¡°But, I¡¯m no one. I¡¯m only Human!¡± I argued, by now too aware of how limited and frail Humans were when compared with them.


    ¡°Only! Contrary to what you may think, being Human is much more than being a Deiwos or a Merifri. We are mere symbols of the options you may, or may not, make. If we were to see your world as a school, we would be your teachers, offering you paths from which to choose from. You, Humans, are born into this world, live your lives and, eventually, go your own ways to other superior worlds. We belong here. We were created because you exist. And would probably cease to exist if you were completely gone. Of course, as time went by, we also ended up creating our own rules and our own ways of living, and other objectives came into light. But the fact that we¡¯ll never leave here while you¡¯re simply passing by, that will never change.¡±


    ¡°Except for those who become Se¡¯irim,¡± I reminded and he brushed a hand over his dark-red bangs that had fallen over his nose.


    ¡°Yes. Se¡¯irim and Gaal are the exception.¡± He smiled before my inquisitive expression and didn¡¯t wait for my question to go on. ¡°The same way Se¡¯irim were once corrupted Humans, Gaal were Humans whose wishes and actions raised them to a point where their Souls are too pure to remain in the Human world. When that happens a choice is presented to them. Either become a Gaal and join the Merifri in helping and orienting other Human Beings, or reincarnate once more into the Human world for a life of service. Sometimes they are asked to live several lives of service before they can leave for other worlds.¡±


    ¡°Service? Like in helping others?¡± I asked and he nodded. ¡°Are the Merifri the ones who decide the number of lives they have to live?¡±


    ¡°No. No one knows for sure how that¡¯s decided. It just happens that, after another life of service, the Soul goes on to the next level of evolution, to somewhere where neither Merifri nor Deiwos can follow. However, before that happens, and while their Souls remain here, since they go on living as normal Human Beings, they are frequently targeted by inferior Deiwos in search of easy sources of power. Because of that, Merifri have decided to grant them their protection, so that they¡¯re able to fulfill their missions. And so, for every Human Being that decides to remain and go through with a life of service, an Iaidon, one of the second most powerful castes of the Merifri, is chosen. And they act as that Human¡¯s guardian,¡± he concluded and I couldn¡¯t help notice the slight bitterness in his voice.


    ¡°Guardian, like in a guardian angel?¡± I asked, my voice falling to a whisper as I recalled what I had heard the night before. ¡°Like the one I ... should have?¡± His expression was serious all of the sudden.


    ¡°I see you heard more than you should,¡± he grunted critically to which I raised my head, sitting as upright as I could.


    ¡°It is my house!¡± I pointed out. ¡°A house you practically invaded! Not to mention the lamentable state in which you left my living room!¡± I answered defensively, in the same tone he¡¯d used.


    ¡°Point taken, I guess. And, as for your living room, I¡¯m sure Izrail will take care of that.¡±


    ¡°Of course he will,¡± I replied, but my angry facade was gone the next instant. ¡°Am I one of these Humans? One of those that should have a Guardian?¡±


    ¡°You are,¡± he confirmed so pointedly that a shudder ran down my spine and I had to blink to make sure that I was still awake.


    ¡°But how¡¯s that possible?¡± I demanded, falling back to my usual reaction, denial. ¡°I¡¯m no different from any other girl! I feel and think like everyone else! I have no special powers, quite the opposite. I¡¯m usually so plain and uninteresting that no one even notices I exist. I¡¯m too shy and have problems saying what I really think. Where can someone like this be so special? Worse,¡± I went on, nonstop, ¡°how can you expect me to have some higher mission! I¡¯m barely able to manage my own problems!¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯re saying we¡¯re wrong,¡± he concluded and he was right. That made even less sense. But I still wasn¡¯t quite ready to accept it.


    ¡°Surely, you must be!¡± I insisted vehemently. ¡°I probably don¡¯t have a Guardian because I was never supposed to have one to begin with. Maybe you just mistook me for someone else!¡± He smiled softly.


    ¡°We¡¯re not mistaken, Mari. I would never be wrong about something like this. I was, after all, a Guardian for many decades.¡± I silenced a protest and just stared at him. And there it was again... that bitterness in his voice. ¡°Being a Guardian implies being able to see the light of a Human Being¡¯s Soul, and that¡¯s a gift I still haven¡¯t lost.¡± I recalled hearing him say something like that, last night, about how somehow I glowed? And my hopes of being able to deny all that madness became dimmer by the minute. ¡°You shine so brightly that I can¡¯t help wondering what stopped you from leaving this world. The way I see it, you shouldn¡¯t be here anymore. Want me to prove it to you?¡±


    Before I could answer our waiter returned. He looked with awe at Alexander¡¯s three empty plates, and with disapproval at my almost untouched fish. He went on offering us the desert menu, from which Alexander quickly chose two types of cake, one chocolate mousse, and a piece of apple pie. The man efficiently took note of everything and went about his way, this time smiling, probably content with the money he was making at Alexander¡¯s expense.


    ¡°Prove it,¡± I decided, after we were alone once more, and he smiled, almost as if he felt proud of my decision.


    ¡°You say you feel like everyone else. And maybe that¡¯s true. You¡¯re only Human, after all. But you can hardly express your feelings like the rest of them, or am I wrong?¡± I was kind of taken aback by that statement and unconsciously started chewing at the insides of my mouth. ¡°Humans like you can only express what the Soul feels. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve noticed it by now.¡±


    ¡°I really wouldn¡¯t know,¡± I answered, again defensively, unable to avoid the feeling of getting unexpectedly slapped across the face.


    He was right, I thought, mentally reviewing my life up till then. I¡¯d always been rather odd, as emotions were concerned. I wasn¡¯t sure about that ¡®Soul¡¯s feelings¡¯ thing he was talking about, though. Shouldn¡¯t feelings from the Soul be grand and magnificent? I would expect them to fill me completely or to raise me high up, making me soar amongst the clouds. I¡¯d never felt anything even remotely like that. I usually felt half numb, aimlessly wandering through a gray world, desperately trying to mimic the right reactions, since I had no emotions to go with them. In my heart nothing really mattered, or at least nothing had really mattered until I¡¯d met Michael. But then, as soon as he was gone from my sight, I went back to being that gray mirror, poorly trying to reflect the world outside. And that was all well. I¡¯d been used to it by now. Used to the daily theater. Used to the emptiness. Used to always be the introverted girl, who never quite knew what to say, or when to say it, or even when to laugh. Until he¡¯d appear in my room, turning everything upside down, filling my dull, empty, gray world with terror and fear.


    ¡°I just know that whenever I want to cry, or feel like it, I just can¡¯t,¡± I told him in defeat. And yet, I had no difficulty shedding tears every time he came too close to me, even when I didn¡¯t want them to appear. Now that I thought about it, something must be really wrong with me.


    ¡°Your tears don¡¯t belong to your heart,¡± he explained. ¡°Like your smiles, and your laughter, or angry expressions. They don¡¯t obey your Human feelings,¡± he went on condescendingly, as if afraid that this subject might bother me more than all the other, much darker things he¡¯d told me before.


    ¡°Then the tears that I did cry ...¡±


    ¡°Belonged to your Soul.¡±


    The waiter returned, balancing three small plates on one arm and holding another in his hand. He cheerfully placed them on the table, wishing us a good appetite. Alexander didn¡¯t even hesitate, voraciously attacking the closest dish - a generous piece of strawberries and cream sponge cake. It was almost as he hadn¡¯t eaten anything at all.


    My mind, however, was too engaged in other matters to ponder about that for long. According to him my heart and my Soul both existed inside me, but each one had their own feelings, probably their own wills, almost like two distinct identities. I was far from being merely odd, I thought bitterly. Still, I¡¯d have more than enough time to mull over that later on. Now there were still questions I wanted to ask, not knowing if I¡¯d ever have the chance to talk to him alone again.


    ¡°Let¡¯s assume I accept that being different thing. He said my Guardian is asleep. Is that true?¡±


    ¡°Yes. And, as much as it displeases me, I can¡¯t help but agree with Izrail,¡± he said, his voice sounding colder than usual.


    ¡°That he fell asleep by his own free will? That he just ... abandoned me?¡± I asked and laughed ironically. ¡°That¡¯s just me! After all, why shouldn¡¯t he. What could possibly have made him stay?¡±


    ¡°You really shouldn¡¯t sell yourself short, like that,¡± he responded, putting down his fork.


    ¡°That¡¯s hardly the case. I mean, even if you say I¡¯m this wonderful, powerful being, I really can¡¯t see it. All I see are limitations, flaws, things that could really use some improvement, and a growing propensity towards madness. Who, in his right mind, would want to watch over that for an entire life? I know I wouldn¡¯t!¡± Alexander pushed a small plate over to me and I stared down at the piece of chocolate caramel nut cake looking back at me. ¡°Is this supposed to comfort me?¡±


    ¡°From my experience, Human Beings tend to eat sweet things when they¡¯re feeling down, especially young girls like you,¡± he answered, his tone so clinical that I couldn¡¯t help laugh. It was almost as if he¡¯d just recited a rule from some book on how to deal with Humans.


    ¡°You really know a lot about us, unlike Gabriel or Lea,¡± I observed, picking up the small fork and cutting a piece from my dark-brown cake. Sure enough, the sweetness that filled my mouth erased the bitterness that covered my throat like a cloak, lifting up my mood.


    ¡°Because, unlike them, I spent many years among you. Izrail rarely leaves his dark hole. Even now, he only came here because he had to.¡±


    ¡°The war?¡± I asked, cutting another small piece of cake, and Alexander smiled, looking happy that I was enjoying his gift.


    ¡°Yes. A hundred years of war for a thousand years of leadership. That¡¯s how it¡¯s decided who will rule our world in the next thousand years. Nine hundred years after a Supreme Ruler is chosen the command is given for the start of the One-hundred-years War. To participate in that, and thus have a shot at being the next Supreme Ruler, all the clans send to the Human world their best and most powerful Deiwos. Izrail¡¯s clan, which through his interference became my clan as well, is currently also the Supreme Ruler¡¯s clan. That means that our leader is the Supreme Ruler of all, and I can guarantee you that he does not wish to give up his position. And so, Izrail and I, and many others, were sent here to battle among ourselves, until there¡¯s only one left.¡±


    ¡°So, does that mean that whoever wins the war is the next, hum, Supreme Ruler?¡± I asked, looking for the right words and he shook his head.


    ¡°Not necessarily. It means the leader of the wining clan will be the ruler. For example, if I were to win the war, the leader of our clan would get to keep his current position. In order for me to be the Supreme Ruler, I¡¯d first have to challenge him personally and win, of course.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re forced to fight in this war?¡± I asked and he laughed, scrapping the bottom of his, now empty, chocolate mousse bowl.


    ¡°Being able to refuse means having the right to choose in the first place. And that is something we never possessed to begin with.¡±


    ¡°So, how long has this war been going on for?


    ¡°Ninety-six years.¡±


    ¡°Ninety-six? You¡¯ve been in our world for ninety-six years?¡± I asked in disbelief, eyes widening, and his silence was all the answer I needed. ¡°Then, he was Sealed during this war,¡± I concluded after some mental calculations.


    ¡°Izrail¡¯s Brothers Sealed him in order to lower the competition, since trying to kill him would be too dangerous. In any case, I guess that from his perspective you freed him too soon. I think he¡¯d much rather stay where he was, surrounded by nothingness and darkness for a few more years, than have anything to do with this war. I, on the other hand, am eternally grateful to you for freeing him when you did. Without his help I¡¯d have very little chances of ever surviving till the end. After all, no matter how strong a Mazzikin is, he¡¯ll never be a Shedim.¡±


    ¡°Because he agreed to protect you,¡± I pointed out and Alexander pulled the plate with chocolate cake back to him, determined to finish what I¡¯d started and seemed unwilling to finish.


    ¡°To tell you the truth, I knew he¡¯d never refuse me. Izrail has a bad temper and, most of the times, I can hardly understand what he¡¯s thinking. But in the end he¡¯d never be able to refuse helping someone weaker than him. All that talk about agreements and exchanges was only a way to make him accept me sticking around, without having to argue with him any further, or ending up hurting his pride. Because even though he may not have any interest in this war, Izrail hates losing, and so he won¡¯t hesitate for a second before destroying anyone who dares attack him. Besides, since he¡¯s stuck on this piece of land, he¡¯ll become an even easier target and he¡¯ll need all the help he can get.¡±


    ¡°From what you say, he¡¯s extremely powerful. Surely he won¡¯t have any trouble defeating whoever comes at him,¡± I mused, trying to reassure myself regarding my decision to trust him with my safety, and Alexander practically stuck what was left of the cake in his mouth.


    ¡°I do not doubt his power. No one does. But believe it when I say it. We will all be much better off if we¡¯re able to solve things without having to resort to it. That¡¯s why his Brothers decided to Seal him. Izrail would never accept defeat and he¡¯d end up taking the battle to its last consequences. After that, all that would probably be left around him would be a huge extension of desert land. For me, just to be able to sit here talking to you, I have to Seal most of my powers. If I didn¡¯t my wings would appear and, even though everything else would apparently remain the same, the air around me would change, making Humans uncomfortable, feeling unsafe, even if they were somehow able to deal with the black wings part. For Izrail that¡¯s also true, but in a way that¡¯s almost frightening to the rest of us. He¡¯s normally already Sealing his powers as I do, and his presence, and his energy. And, to keep up with that humanly acceptable appearance, he has to Seal himself all over again. They¡¯re Seals, over Seals, over Seals. In a combat he has to be very careful to release only the parts of him that are strictly necessary. For that reason, directly threatening his life is far from being the smartest of options. He¡¯d probably react according to his primal instincts of survival, the same that were drilled into him time and time again during his childhood. I fear that nothing would be left of his adversaries, but the same can be said of the nearest town or piece of land.¡±


    I swallowed hard. I couldn¡¯t wrap my mind around what it would really mean to wield such an immense power.


    ¡°And so you decided to stay to keep him in check,¡± I concluded and felt internally grateful for that. He laughed.


    ¡°He¡¯d hate hearing you say something like that,¡± he joked, signaling the waiter to bring us the check.


    ¡°And even knowing how powerful he is, how dangerous he is, you still don¡¯t fear him,¡± I observed with admiration. I, in contrast, almost crumbled to pieces every time he got closer than a dozen steps to where I stood.


    ¡°Oh, no. Everyone in his right mind fears him,¡± he denied with a smile, as if that was a worldwide accepted fact.


    ¡°But you¡¯re still willing to stay by his side. Even last night. The way you faced him,¡± I countered and he averted his gaze looking disturbed.


    ¡°Yesterday was an entire different matter. I would have never challenged him like that if that stupid cat hadn¡¯t pointed his claws at Jonathan,¡± he grumbled, sounding annoyed at the memory. ¡°Since I know Suileabhan only obeys his voice, I had no other choice but to do that.¡±


    His heavy expression opened up with a polite smile as soon as our waiter returned. To my amazement, Alexander handed him what undeniably looked like a credit card, and the man walked away happily.


    ¡°Jonathan. He¡¯s really Human?¡± I asked and he smiled again.


    ¡°He is. And it¡¯s my duty to protect him,¡± he declared without the shadow of a doubt.


    ¡°And you are his Guardian.¡±


    ¡°I was. Now I can no longer take that position.¡±


    ¡°But you still protect him,¡± I noted and couldn¡¯t help feeling slightly depressed. While Alexander stood by Jonathan¡¯s side, even when that wasn¡¯t his duty any longer, my Guardian had chosen to run away to some dream world. And suddenly my mind made the connection. ¡°So Jonathan is like me?¡± I asked, still not convinced.


    Alexander accepted his card back, standing up to leave. Our waiter thanked him more than once for our patronage, insisting that we return soon, and I picked up my books, following him towards the door. ¡°Is he?¡± I insisted when I caught up with him and he nodded, hiding his face from me as he pulled up the collar of his coat. However, I couldn¡¯t stop smiling. Suddenly I was no longer alone. Not alone in being a freak. And not alone in being a Human who had to deal with demons and angels for breakfast. I ran a few steps to catch up again and peered up at him, excited with my new discovery. ¡°You were his Guardian! What happened? How can you stay beside him when you¡¯re not one anymore?¡± I went on,completely  clueless, until his expression became surprisingly hard and cold.


    ¡°Jonathan only has one Guardian. And that¡¯s me!¡± he stated dryly. ¡°Whether I¡¯m a Deiwos or a Merifri.¡±


    The excitement immediately drained out of me and, for the first time, I felt intimidated near him. Could he contradict himself any more obviously? The idea I¡¯d built about him, of someone cheerful and carefree, was suddenly, and quite effectively, completely shattered. The hard expression that had remained on his face with just that one question, after so gladly having replied to so many others, baffled me. And, above all, it clearly told me that that wasn¡¯t a topic he wanted to discuss, and so I thought it better and let it drop.


    ¡°Mari, do you fear me?¡± His sudden question made me raise my head to face him. He was still serious, but his expression had grown smoother, almost pained.


    I pondered carefully for a moment. I wanted to be as honest as possible with my answer. It was the least I could do to repay him all the patience he had had with me and all the things he had taught me.


    ¡°No,¡± I finally replied and smiled lightly at his surprised expression. ¡°I guess, right now, I¡¯m not afraid of any of you, although I¡¯m quite aware that the humanly proper thing to do would be to run around screaming in terror,¡± I added and he half smiled at my sarcasm. ¡°I did fear Gabriel for a long time, though. Not for what he appeared to be, because, ever since that first night, he never did anything that could make me feel that way. I feared him based on what I irrationally feel when I¡¯m near him. It¡¯s a kind of pure physical terror that I can¡¯t control, dragging my mind with it. Rationally speaking, I know all too well that I have nothing to fear, that he needs me alive in order to reach his goal. But when he¡¯s near, my mind goes completely blank. As for Lea, I guess I was never really afraid of him, even after he tried to kill me.¡±


    Alexander''s eyes widened and I couldn¡¯t help laugh at his expression of disbelief.


    ¡°It was nothing special,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Now we are practically best friends. As for you, well, maybe if you¡¯d shown up last month, I¡¯d probably have been very much afraid. Now, I¡¯ve seen and heard so many things that I guess I just got used to it all. Just last Saturday we were attacked by one of your kind. Sure there was a moment, in the middle of all this, that I really thought I¡¯d end up losing my mind. Sometimes I still feel like that, but I learned to control the down spiraling thoughts that constantly cross my mind. Since you know us so well, I¡¯m sure you understand. It¡¯s as you said. It¡¯s not easy being around Gabriel and he is seriously lacking in communication skills. And Lea, Lea obeys his every word. Gabriel only told me what he decided I needed to know, which is basically limited to the terms of our Contract. But who would ever be happy with just that? And so, after many struggles, mainly against myself, and after almost going insane once or twice a week, I finally developed a way of thinking that, somehow, allows me to move forward. I guess you could call it a kind of surviving instinct.¡±


    ¡°And what way of thinking is that?¡± he asked in a tone of genuine curiosity, gently bending his head to be closer to my height, and I took a deep breath, raising my head to look forward towards the path ahead.


    ¡°Nothing special, really,¡± I assured. ¡°I just decided that I¡¯ll trust him as far as I can. Because if he wanted to kill me, he could¡¯ve already done it more than a dozen times. That doesn¡¯t mean, of course, that I agree with the things he does, or that I¡¯ll do whatever he wants. To tell you the truth, up till now, the way I¡¯ve been looking at things is almost as a chess player looking over a game board. He is my opponent, and getting my life back is my prize if I win. And that¡¯s why ... why knowing that this is all a mere curiosity for him ...¡± My voice faltered and I had to take a deep breath before going on. ¡°I just can¡¯t help wondering what was I so intent on fighting for. If the game was rigged from the beginning, and a winner has already been chosen, then what¡¯s the point of keep playing. I do know that my chances of winning are slim to say the least, but, even so, I was willing to go on. But if I never had any chances to begin with, then why postpone the inevitable? It will only bring more pain.¡±


    ¡°Mari, you¡¯re not seeing things how they really are,¡± he said. I stared up at him and his gaze asked me for patience.


    ¡°It¡¯s what you say. The way you see it,¡± I pointed out and noticed we were almost home. ¡°I trust you because he trusted you. This is where my trust in him stands. Because I found out I¡¯m not able to live if I don¡¯t have some kind of firm base to hold on to."


    ¡°And you chose him as your base?¡±


    ¡°What else could I do? I didn¡¯t have enough information to build one of my own. I couldn¡¯t go on stumbling through my life, always lost, always afraid, unable to think or even interact with the people around me.¡± I frowned. I knew all too well that was my biggest weakness and I wasn¡¯t all that pleased to have to talk about it.


    ¡°But now that I¡¯ve told you all this ...¡±


    ¡°Yes. I guess now things are a bit different,¡± I conceded. ¡°And although I ended up hearing things I¡¯d probably rather not hear, I¡¯m kind of happy with myself right now, almost proud. Looking back, I do not regret any of the choices I made, from the few moments when I was actually allowed to choose. Unless this is all another charade,¡± I added and stopped by my front door, looking for the keys inside my huge handbag.


    ¡°I can swear it to you, by Jonathan¡¯s Soul, that it is not a charade!¡± he said with such intensity in his voice, carefully articulating each word with absolute precision, that I couldn¡¯t help look back at him. ¡°Maybe later you¡¯ll end up reaching this same conclusion all by yourself. There are still many other truths you don¡¯t know about.¡±


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 18 - Part 1

    Chapter 18


    ZIM


    ¨C The Garden of Nemo. The Work of the Magister Templi.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°Why can¡¯t Human Beings learn their lesson, like all the other creatures of the Earth?


    And the cycles repeat themselves, day after day, year after year, life after life....


    In truth we can only perceive the treasure that we held when, too late, we see it sink in eternal seas of life.


    And then all that¡¯s left is pain, sorrow and silence...¡±


    Part 1


    To my surprise, as soon as we set foot inside the house, we were received by an extremely worried Lea and one clearly bad-humored Gabriel; all because Alexander had decided to kidnap me without any kind of previous warning.


    ¡°Where have you been?¡± he demanded in a menacing tone and Alexander threw is arm over my shoulders, pulling me closer and making me stumble against his warm body. We were both standing by the living room¡¯s door, where we¡¯d stopped to face Gabriel¡¯s angry expression, and I couldn¡¯t help notice that, as expected, everything  was miraculously back to normal.


    I looked up at Alexander, an angry protest in my lips, but the air around us was suddenly so heavy and charged with that frightening energy that it made me shuddered.


    ¡°Come on ...¡± Alexander sighed as if talking to a child, keeping his hold around me even though I tried to free myself, a broad smile on his lips. ¡°Really? Are you going to throw a tantrum over a simple lunch out?¡± he asked, making me shiver, and my panicking gaze turned to Gabriel, towards his cold hard expression, his menacing black eyes intently set upon that arm that crushed me against him . Oh my God!, I thought, my heart hammering against my chest, that stupid black angel did have a death wish!


    ¡°I told you to bring her straight home,¡±Gabriel practically hissed and I tried once more to stand up straight but that arm kept me in place with iron strength.


    ¡°You told me to watch over her. And I did.  But Mari needed some time off. And since you¡¯re so poorly socially skilled I thought it best to take matters in my own hands,¡± he replied and my eyes shot up back at him, at his ... amused expression. He was doing it on propose!, I concluded with sheer terror. And using me! To make him mad! Which was working surprisingly well, I easily gathered, as my hands and legs started shaking and the mark on my wrist burned painfully.


    When I shoved him yet again the cold fear I felt must have given me extra strength, or maybe Alexander decided to finally let me go. I stumbled away from him and urgently turned towards the origin of that silent dark threat.


    ¡°Just stop it!¡± I demanded, surprisingly more angry than afraid, and his eyes widened as surprise washed over his face; an expression that almost made me gasp in disbelief. That the perfect statue could make an expression like that was truly unbelievable. And yet it actually worked, I mused as the air became lighter and easier to breathe. Which only made me feel much more self-confidant as I faced him. ¡°You have such an bad temper!¡± I criticized and now he seemed abash, staring at me as he I were an alien or something like that. ¡°So what? We had lunch together! What is it to you, anyway? I¡¯m free to have lunch with whoever I want!¡± I added and, for an instant, feared I¡¯d gone too far. Gabriel pressed his lips together into a thin line, looking as if he was trying to restrain himself, and then suddenly relaxed, back to his usual cold and indifferent self, that made me silently sigh in relief.


    ¡°Go with Lea. He found signs of activity north from here,¡± he told Alexander, as if nothing had happened, and Alexander nodded, still smiling mischievously, winking at me before turning to leave. I heard the soft sound of Lea¡¯s bell towards the kitchen and then silence ... and I knew I was alone with him.


    He was standing by the table, where he¡¯d been since we¡¯d arrived. Not a new table that looked like the old one, I noticed,  but the exact same table, down to the smallest detail, scratches and stains included. It was strange seeing him stand, I thought, when I¡¯d almost taken for granted that I¡¯d always find him sitting on the armchair.


    For a moment he slowly looked around, as if searching for something, and it took me a while to notice that his expression looked bothered.


    ¡°I¡¯m ... sorry ... for loosing control like that ...¡± he ended up muttering and his obvious embarrassment left me dumbfounded. I couldn¡¯t deny he had reacted like a control freak to my unexpected lunch out with Alexander, which had deeply annoyed me. But, even so, I¡¯d never expected in my wildest dreams that the day would come when I''d hear him apologize. Above all, I wasn¡¯t used to seeing so many foreign expressions flashing across his perfect, stony face. As I didn¡¯t answer he went on, avoiding meeting my gaze. ¡°If you had lunch together I imagine he ... he talked about me?¡± he finally asked, cutting straight to the point, and I nodded, still by the door, as if ready to run away at any moment. ¡°What did he tell you? ¡°


    ¡°He ...¡± I muttered, swallowing as I tried to unstuck my voice. Being alone with him was so much more intimidating ... Even knowing, as I now knew, that neither Alexander nor Lea would be able to protect me from him, even if they wanted to, I still felt safer when they were around. ¡°He told me you are very powerful ... and that everyone fears you ...¡± I managed to say after quickly trying to ascertain what would be the safest thing to share. I did not wished to anger him again, but his bitter expression told me that I''d just failed in my attempt to please him.


    ¡°Feared ... yes ...¡± he confirmed. ¡°What else did he tell you?¡±


    ¡°He told me about this war,¡± I replied, more firmly now, as I regained my confidence. ¡°He told me that neither one of you have any desire to be a part of it, but that you had no other choice.¡±


    ¡°We never have a choice ...¡±


    ¡°Yes, he told about that too,¡± I confirmed.


    ¡°Did he tell you about us? About our way of living? Of how we met?¡± I quickly considered if I¡¯d be able to get away with a lie. After all, I was obviously getting better at that day by day. Still, and against my better judgment, I ended up nodding, which made him look away in a mix of anger and disgust.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.


    ¡°Would you rather I didn¡¯t know?¡± I asked and saw as his fists curl up into two tight pale balls.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather you didn¡¯t know anything. That you wouldn¡¯t get yourself involved with things that are none of your concern. You do not belong in our world,¡± he plainly stated in his low, velvet voice and, somehow, the way he did it sent a unexpected jab into my chest.


    ¡°I guess you¡¯re right about that,¡± I conceded, feeling strangely calm as I stood there, talking to him. ¡°But what I did, that placed us both in this situation, nullifies all that,¡± I stated and he glared at me, once more in disbelief. I took a deep breath, allowing myself a quick moment to ponder my present situation, and decided to go on. After all, if what I wanted was the truth then it only made sense that I should start by being honest in the first place. Anyway, what good could possible come from trying to hide my thoughts from him? That was exactly what I¡¯d been doing so far, with no success whatsoever. I remembered what Alexander had told me just a few moments ago. If I couldn¡¯t win by fighting head on then I¡¯d look for a way around. Sharing was my first new strategy; giving in hopes of receiving something in return. And who knew ... Maybe by learning a bit more about him, and him about me, we could end up better understanding each other ... ¡°I may not belong in your world, and I certainly do not wish to, but right now there¡¯s really no other way. This Contract binds me to you, but it also bids you to me. Maybe if this war didn¡¯t exist ... maybe we could¡¯ve just focused on this Contract¡¯s terms, as you wish. In that point, Alexander is right. If it was my destiny to free you, I might as well have done so a few years from now.¡±


    He sighed, running a hand across his face, looking suddenly tired.


    ¡°It¡¯s as you say. I do not wish to have anything to do with this war.¡±


    ¡°And yet there¡¯s nothing you can do to keep out of it.¡±


    ¡°I will not involve you in this! I swear!¡± he claimed with such intensify that the air vibrated around us, making a shiver.


    ¡°How can you swear something like that? The Contract that bids us involves me automatically!¡± I countered and he averted his gaze as if I¡¯d scolded him. ¡°You know, just this morning I was willing to give you whatever it is you want from me,¡± I confessed and he faced me alarmed, as if I¡¯d just said the most terrifying thing, which made me smile briefly ... More expressions, I thought, and this one so human-like. ¡°You see ... I¡¯m really tired ...¡± I justified. ¡°But, even tired, I¡¯ve been fighting to keep my sanity, to understand the situation as best as I can, to deal with this daily routine so different from my previous life. Although I frequently blame you for all of this, deep down I¡¯ve always known that doing so was just a way to appease my despairing mind. If I¡¯m not to blame, neither are you, and we both are who we are. The difficult thing is knowing how to deal with it all. I also recognize, although I may not show it, that you¡¯re always trying to control your ... true nature, as best as you can. And it¡¯s been holding on to these certainties that I¡¯ve been able to keep on living, waking up every morning, without getting any further explanations. But yesterday night ... you told Alexander that you spared me because you felt ... curious. Because I¡¯m somehow different from other Human Beings. Which means that, in the end, this Contract is worthless. That once you¡¯ve satisfied your curiosity you¡¯ll simply destroy me, as you should have done that night. If I look at things this way then, all I¡¯ve done trying to deal with all this, it¡¯s been all for nothing ... My life is worthless ... And so I may as well give you whatever you want and be done with it!¡± I concluded and made a brief pause to take a deep breath. He stood completely still, his black eyes locked on me, his face apparently indifferent. Only the slight glow of his gaze told me that he was listening and that my words were able to reached him. ¡°Alexander says I¡¯m wrong and, although giving up sounded much easier, I decided to believe in his words. Ironically enough, I found out that I¡¯m not really the giving up type,¡± I added with a smile. ¡°And, because I chose to believe his words, I returned to the battle, even though I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll be able to stand it ... Or if I should even be fighting ... If there¡¯s a meaning to all of this ...¡± I added in a low voice and straightened my back to face him. ¡°So I need to know ... what is it that you really want. If this is all a curiosity to you, then tell me what you want from me. I¡¯ll tell you anything, do anything, and then you can just destroy me and be done with it. If all you want is to sleep with me, then I¡¯m yours right now. I¡¯m too tired of fighting for things that mean nothing to you. That you can simply take, whenever you want to. So ... just tell me ...¡±


    I felt a knot tighten around my throat and the threads incarcerating my heart became dangerously tight, cutting me inside as I waited for his answer. Those few seconds of silence felt like an eternity.


    ¡°I ... need ... want ... wish ... you to keep fighting,¡± he finally told me, still facing me, and, for the first time, I felt warm at the sound of his deep velvet voice. ¡°That you may survive my presence ... that you end up winning this battle ... and that you may remain yourself, as you were before our paths crossed, once I¡¯ve left.¡± My heart jumped, beating faster, and I waited for the trembling that would surely follow ... but nothing happened. Gabriel took a deep breath and seemed disturbed once again. ¡°However, as much as I¡¯d like to tell you that I no longer wish this Contract, that¡¯s not true either. I admit that what I wish is no longer the price I imposed on you ... not anymore ... but, as you¡¯ve said it yourself, this is the only thing binding us together. If, on one hand, this Contract implies an obligation that does not please me, on the other hand without it I¡¯d have no place in your life.¡± I clenched my coat¡¯s flaps over my chest that strangely hurt and told myself I did not understand what he meant. He seemed to notice my distress and frowned, averting his gaze, looking annoyed. ¡°You asked me what I wanted,¡± he pointed out, defensively.


    ¡°Yes ...¡± I admitted but was immediately at a loss for words. ¡°Because ... I want to understand ...¡±


    ¡°The same way you wish your life would return to what it was, I also wish my life could be as it was before I came to this world ... It was all so much easier, then ... so much clear, so much obvious. You ask me what I want, but what I want constantly contradicts itself. I wish you to be happy, but I do not wish for many of the things that would make you happy to happen. So, if you¡¯re able to smile when the things I do make you smile, and keep fighting when the things I do make you cry ...¡± He was suddenly silent and I had to blink to force myself to react. My heart was beating so fast I could swear he could hear it, keen as his auditory senses were. But beyond that I felt numb, my mind completely blank, as if I¡¯d been shocked to death.


    ¡°Until when ... ?¡± I managed to ask and he smiled bitterly, leaving me breathless.


    ¡°Until you¡¯re able to get rid of me, or until someone appears, able to destroy me,¡± he answered and suddenly raised his head, as if someone had called him from far away. ¡°I have to go,¡± he simply told me, his tone abruptly hard, and disappeared just like that, within a magical rain of small dark sparks, leaving my living room unexpectedly empty.


    It took me some time until I was able to react and, when I finally did, I dragged myself upstairs, still half numb. Undressing my coat, that I dropped on the bed, I went towards the PC and turned it on.


    As expected a new message entered my inbox and I felt disappointment wash over me in anticipation, knowing that it was probably from Rachel, telling me that she couldn¡¯t make it for Easter. I opened it, uninterested, only as an excuse not to think about all he''d just told me, and kept myself busy by reading what she''d written. My eyes stared blankly at the strange numbers and letters on the screen, unable to give them any meaning, and it took me a while to understand what I¡¯d just read. Suddenly wide awake, I urgently went back to the beginning of the message and read it again. And then gain!, just to make sure I was reading it right, and finally my laughter echoed all over the now empty house. Without knowing how, and against all expectations, my mother was arriving in London on the seventh, at five pm.


    *  If you want to  know more about this book or simply access earlier  updates, please  visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 18 - Part 2

    Part 2


    The next day I woke up at dawn, freezing and stiff from having fallen asleep sitting at the kitchen table. I looked around, rubbing the icy skin of my arms. I remembered I¡¯d come downstairs to make dinner, thinking how much Lea would like to have something to eat waiting for him when he returned, and had sat there to wait ... to wait for him ... to wait for them. The food remained untouched on the pan left over the oven, the plates I¡¯d set around the table clean. I stumbled towards the living room, still shivering from the morning cold but no one was there, either. Not even silent, empty eyed Jonathan that always seemed to be left behind, obediently sitting wherever Alexander chose to leave him.


    With I sigh I knew I was alone but, even so, went upstairs to search the bedrooms, ending up back in the kitchen.


    I decided to clear the table and put the pan in the fridge, since it was already freezing cold. I grabbed an apple as I closed the fridge and nibbled at it, absorbed in my own thoughts.


    So much had happened all of the sudden ... ! Still I knew that I should be used to it, by now. Since Gabriel and Lea had arrived, my life had became a roller coaster, constantly going up and down. And I had the feeling that the wave brought upon by Alexander¡¯s presence was even bigger than all the previous ones. At least, this time around, I hadn¡¯t been the only one feeling her world shaking to the ground ... Gabriel had also felt it, and the words we¡¯d exchanged, the day before, were a clear proof of that.


    I felt my cheeks blush and dropped the half eaten apple in the garbage before going up to my room.


    If I could believe his words ... I¡¯d have to believe he had changed plans, yet again. I¡¯d have to believe that, right now, all he wanted was to remain by my side and to live that human-like life for as long as possible, something that only I could offer him. If I believed that I could almost understand him, I thought. After all, compared to his life of loneliness, silence and darkness, life in the human world was much more colorful, warm, and filled with new things every day. It was only natural that he¡¯d wish to stay for as long as possible ... I knew I¡¯d wish that to, if our roles were reversed. And the only way to make this possible was to keep living as Gabriel, Mari¡¯s cousin. In the end I was like a bridge, connecting him to the human world, while at the same time allowing him some moments of peace when he could freely be himself. If this was so, then what he¡¯d told me also made every sense. He wanted the Contract, but didn¡¯t want it to be fulfilled. Since fulfilling it would mean the end of his time here.


    I put on my pajamas and slid under my quilt. Closing my eyes, I commanded my mind to fall asleep, but spent all morning wide awake, words and expressions dancing beneath my shut eyelids, refusing to let me rest.


    If I could ... If I could see him as I Lea did, to answer his wish as he¡¯d answer Lea¡¯s, maybe he¡¯d set me free ...


    I got up, giving up on the idea of sleeping, and decided to take a shower in hopes of figuring out how I should face him the next time I saw him. After all we¡¯d said to one another I just didn¡¯t how I how to react around him.


    However, he didn¡¯t return.


    Neither him, nor Lea, nor Alexander or Jonathan. And the weekend slowly went by.


    After almost two days home alone the silence around me started to become so heavy and oppressing as the air that surrounded him when he was angry. I did my best to keep busy, cleaning and tidying the house, focusing my attention in the fact that my mom would be arriving soon. Even so, I started to often find myself just standing there, my mind completely blank, as if my brain had simply shut down. At night I¡¯d woke up frequently, certain I¡¯d heard footsteps coming from below. I¡¯d jump to my feet and run downstairs straight to the living room. And then to the kitchen. But no one was there. It was almost as if they¡¯d completely vanished ...


    To my relief, and although I¡¯d doubted it possible up to the last minute, Rachel arrived Monday afternoon, just as planned.


    The yearning I¡¯d felt for her bright smile and familiar face seemed to double as soon as I saw her standing in the doorway, and I ran to hug her, fearing I might be seeing an illusion.


    ¡°Mom!¡±


    Her arms wrapped around me instantly and her perfume filled the air around me, leaving a content smile in my lips.


    ¡°Hi, dear! How have you been? Let me look at you!¡± she asked, holding me by the shoulders, pushing me back just enough to look at me from head to toe, and that familiar smile was back. ¡°New clothes, I see!¡± she noticed immediately, and I hugged her again.


    ¡°Really! Only you to pay attention to that sort of thing! I missed you!¡± I confessed and she laughed lightly.


    ¡°Me too, dear. But let me get in, okay? We¡¯ll have more than enough time to catch up.¡±


    I nodded but even so refused to release her, which made it rather difficult walking through the door and down the corridor. We both collapsed on the couch, her laughter filling the room, and my eyes fell immediately on the empty armchair, Gabriel¡¯s usual place.


    ¡°I know that Gabriel has already returned home for the holidays,¡± she told me, practically reading my mind, and I looked up at her in disbelief.


    ¡°You know? How?¡± I demanded urgently and she tried to straighten my hair, which we both knew to be useless.


    ¡°He sent me a message last week, to let me know when he¡¯d be leaving and to wish me a pleasant trip.¡±A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Last week?!¡± I repeated, completely taken aback. How? If he himself had told me it was best if my mom didn¡¯t come visit? If he¡¯d really sent that message, then his absence had been planed! And if that was how it was, why not tell me? And did that mean he wasn¡¯t returning till the end of the holidays ... ?


    ¡°How have you two been getting along, here, all by yourselves?¡± she asked, sounding worried, and I was forced back to reality.


    ¡°Oh, everything¡¯s been fine. Did he tell you when he¡¯s coming back?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Hum ... I don¡¯t believe he did. But it sounded as if he was only going away for a few days. To be with his family, I suppose. I remember his message said that we¡¯d see each other soon, before I have to return to Paris. But why? Didn¡¯t he tell you?¡± she asked, now sounding suspicious, and I made myself smile, shaking my head.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t tell me exactly when he¡¯s returning. That¡¯s why I asked,¡± I half lied and Rachel put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against her soft, warm body. Before she would had certainly noticed my lack of honesty, but by now I was so used to making up lies and stories to justify his presence that they dropped out of my mouth with the same conviction as the purest of truths.


    ¡°Boys!¡± she snorted. ¡°You know how they are. He¡¯s probably playing around with his friends,¡± she justified the lack of information and took a deep breath. ¡°But what about you? What have you been doing? Tell me everything!¡± I laughed and snuggled against her chest.


    ¡°How can I possibly have anything new to tell you when we write each other almost every day? Besides, my life here is pretty much the same - home, school, school, home, too much study and the occasional stroll down the park. You¡¯re the one with all the news!¡± I protested and she placed a warm kiss on my head, stretching towards her small travel bag so she wouldn¡¯t have to release me.


    ¡°I guess you¡¯re right. And I brought you a bunch of things, too,¡± she announced excitedly, and I raised my head curious about the gifts that my scatterbrained of a mother had managed to by for me.


    Between dozes of pictures, postcards, small decorative objects and some pieces of clothing, the living room was plunged into chaos in just a couple of hours. Rachel spent the rest of the afternoon telling me about her life in Paris, and the way she did it almost made it sound like some fantastic adventure, her eyes glowing with enthusiasm as she described all the places she¡¯d been to and all the people she¡¯d met. As it got dark outside I went to the kitchen, to turn on the stove and make some last minute improvements on the dinner I¡¯d prepared to welcome her home. She seemed pleasantly impressed, complimenting me all through the meal, almost as much as Lea would have, and I asked her about the project she was developing.


    We talked and laughed the whole night long, until we were both practically asleep on the couch. We made plans to go out together the next day, and she kissed me good night by my bedroom¡¯s door.


    I stood there for a moment, watching her until she closed her own door, and got in my room still smiling. It was really good having her home, I thought, and better yet not being alone anymore.


    Nevertheless I still woke up in the middle of the night, my hair glued against my damp forehead, my stomach completely turned upside down. I stood up, still gasping, and opened the window to breathe in the cold air of the night. The wind made me shiver, freezing my sweaty skin and helping me calm down. The sky was unusually clear, the stars shinning coldly above my head.


    I tried to recall my nightmare but the memory of what had probably been a truly fighting dream was completely gone.


    With a sigh I closed the window and went back to bed. But, just like it¡¯d happen the night before, I couldn¡¯t go back to sleep. Instead, my mind was filled with questions about Gabriel and where he could possibly be. And I just couldn¡¯t stop thinking about the way he¡¯d left, as if something serious had happened.


    The next couple of days, Rachel and I did all the things anyone would expect a mother and daughter to do together. We went shopping, had tea and scones somewhere nice and sunny, took a stroll on the nearest park and cooked all our favorite dishes. Somehow I managed to keep our dates limited to the areas around our house, preferably as close as possible. I still remembered all too well what Gabriel had told me about the red mark on my wrist, how it was imbued with his energy which made it dangerous leaving that area. I wasn¡¯t sure where his barrier started or where it ended, and I just didn¡¯t want to take the chance of being attacked and killed by some Deiwos looking for him, much less while in my mother¡¯s company.


    Wednesday night our evening was suddenly interrupted by a phone call. Rachel, that had stood up to pick up the phone, returned not long after, a suspicious smile stretching her carefully painted lips.


    ¡°Mari. It¡¯s for you. And it¡¯s a boy,¡± she added significantly, laughing as I jumped to my feet and ran out the door.


    ¡°Hello?!¡± I asked urgently, only breathing afterwards.


    ¡°Mari? It¡¯s me, Michael.¡± His voice reached my ears, warm and enveloping as always, but I could hardly hear it. It was almost as if my life had been left suspended, somewhere, and it took me a while to take it back. ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Yes! Yes, Michael. Hi,¡± I answered, making myself sound as enthusiastic as I knew I should be. I felt puzzled with my own reaction. Who had I been expecting to find on the other side of that line?


    ¡°Did anything happen?¡± he asked, perceptive as always, and I smiled. I could easily imagine his worried expression and the intent way he¡¯d be looking at me if he was there.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m sorry. My mom and I were watching TV. What about you? How have you been?¡± I inquired, quickly changing the subject, and his tone became more trivial.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine. I¡¯ve been loitering around the house. And I¡¯m starting to get bored of all this procrastination. And so I was thinking if you¡¯d like to go somewhere, tomorrow afternoon.¡± My first impulse was to refuse, the perfect excuse coming immediately into my mind, but I stopped myself just before uttering yet another lie. I¡¯d never noticed it before, just how conditioned I was to Gabriel¡¯s presence. In truth, it wasn¡¯t as if I didn¡¯t want to go out with Michael. Quite the opposite. I missed the times we used to spend all by ourselves. Before the holidays I¡¯d been refusing him constantly because of our agreement. But now that he wasn¡¯t there, I didn¡¯t need to refuse his invitations anymore.


    I smiled, telling myself I was free like I haven¡¯t been in a long time, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°Where do we meet?¡± I asked and it was his turn to stay silent for a moment.


    ¡°You mean you really want to meet me?¡± he asked, sounding incredulous, and I laughed lightly at his insecurity.


    ¡°Of course I want, Michael. Why wouldn¡¯t I? Besides, we¡¯d already promised to see each other during the holidays, remember?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but ... well, never mind,¡± he replied and I could hear his smile in his voice. ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±


    ¡°Nowhere special. Ah, but if possible I¡¯d like to stay around town,¡± I added, recalling my only present condition.


    ¡°Sure. Meet you at school, then? We¡¯ll go from there.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Three pm?¡±


    ¡°Perfect. I¡¯ll be there.¡±


    I smiled again. Even through the telephone his voice made my heart beat faster, making me feel as if I¡¯d just been hugged by something soft and warm; like a sunny day in the beginning of Summer.


    It was with reluctance that I put down the phone and went back to the living room. Rachel looked at me intently as I sat down beside her, unable to hide my smile.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 18 - Part 3

    Part 3


    Just as we''d agreed, and at the set time, Michael was waiting for me by the now closed school gates. His smile greeted me at a distance and, when I walked up to him, he looked at me with an awkward expression.


    ¡°Sorry I called you so late, last night. I didn¡¯t know your mother had returned.¡±


    ¡°It was a last minute decision,¡± I clarified. ¡°She arrived Monday. But no worries. I¡¯d say you left a good impression on her.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± he asked intrigued.


    ¡°Well, you were the first boy to call me at home, after all.¡±


    He looked surprised before averting his gaze.


    ¡°You must be thrilled to have her back.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Very much so.¡± He smiled and stretched out his hand to me.


    ¡°Shall we go?¡±


    ¡°Where to?¡±


    ¡°Does it matter?¡±


    I was at a loss for words for a moment. Something had change in the way he looked at me. The constant uncertainty I¡¯d got used to see in his eyes was gone. And his decided and self-confidant expression left me apprehensive and embarrassed. Still, I place my hand on his, his warm fingers automatically flexing over mine, enveloping my hand completely, before he softly pull me for a walk.


    ¡°I missed being with you like this,¡± he confessed making my heart jump. The hand that held mine was big, and soft, his strong fingers drawing small circles over my skin.


    I laughed nervously, unable to face him.


    ¡°As if we didn¡¯t meet every day, at school,¡± I criticized, trying to minimize the serious tone of his voice.


    ¡°Yes, but only so briefly and we¡¯re never alone,¡± he answered and I didn¡¯t know what to say, once again. I was starting to regret having agreed to go out with him. Maybe I should have kept trying to avoid him. I made myself smile once again and took a deep breath.


    ¡°You know, I¡¯m quite sure I¡¯m one of the most hated girls in school, nowadays,¡± I stated, trying once more to change the subject. ¡°They all think I stole you away. After all, an idol belongs to everyone. And he¡¯s not supposed to show preferences by hanging out with the same person all the time. It¡¯s really silly, though.¡±


    ¡°I told you before. I couldn¡¯t care less about what others think. Though I am sorry that you have to go through this because of me. They don¡¯t even know you. If I could do anything to change that ...¡± he added, sorrowfully, and I shrugged.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. My friends still treat me the same. Even after Steph stopped talking to me.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s still not talking to you?¡±


    ¡°Yeah ...¡± I confirmed, feeling depressed. I couldn¡¯t help feeling sick every time I recalled Steph¡¯s cold and hateful expression when she looked at me.


    Michael sighed deeply and I dared take a peek at him. The way the sun touched his face made him look even more beautiful, I thought, and I felt even more depressed as I pictured how I would look standing there, right beside him. Suddenly all the time I¡¯d spent that morning, trying to decide what to wear and fighting against my hair¡¯s constant tantrums seemed utterly pointless. No matter what I did, I¡¯d never be good looking enough to stand beside him.


    ¡°You know, I even talked to her,¡± he told me and I looked at him in disbelief.


    ¡°You did?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Just to try and make her understand that there was no way you were romantically involved with your cousin,¡± he explained and a sharp pain pierced my chest. ¡°But she just wouldn¡¯t believe me. She just told me that there were things I didn¡¯t understand. And then I also started thinking that Stephanie¡¯s suspicious aren¡¯t all that baseless.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I questioned, slightly raising my voice, all defense mode, and he smiled appeasing, raising my hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on my skin. My anger evaporated immediately and I stared at him completely stunned, my heart racing like crazy.


    ¡°I¡¯m not talking about you,¡± he clarified. ¡°But, ever since that day, when you came to my house and wouldn¡¯t tell me what happened, I started to pay closer attention to Gabriel. I know you don¡¯t feel at ease around him, almost as if you¡¯re afraid of him, and so I know that you¡¯d never have those kinds of feelings for him. But maybe Stephanie¡¯s hostility towards you is based, not on you, but on him. At least that was the feeling I got, after talking with her. Stephanie doesn¡¯t act like she does for fear you may steal him from her, because that has already happened. She¡¯s just afraid of what you''ll do, once you¡¯ve noticed how he feels about you.¡±


    I felt my heart stop and my feet followed suit.


    ¡°What are ... you talking about ...¡± I managed to murmur and Michael turned to face me, his expression all too serious, the wind softly brushing his golden hair, his eyes filled with anxiety.


    ¡°That he has feelings for you,¡± he openly declared and the pain from before returned twice as stronger, making me frown.


    ¡°That is ridiculous! You don¡¯t even know him!¡± I attacked since I didn¡¯t know how else to defend myself and he nodded.


    ¡°That may be true. But I do know what I¡¯m talking about. I¡¯ve been watching him since that day. The way he looks at you, how he¡¯s always searching for you in the crowd, the way his gaze follows you around ... it¡¯s impossible not to recognize it. Because, not knowing who I am, I watch and observe myself more than anyone else. And he acts the same why I do.¡±Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    I pulled my hand from his and squeezed it hard against my chest, stepping backwards. Suddenly his implications regarding Gabriel¡¯s supposed feelings weren¡¯t all that important anymore. I squeezed my wrist so hard that blood stop flowing to my fingers, and panicking tried to figure out a way to run away from there as fast as possible. I told myself I wasn¡¯t sure what his words meant, and simply wished he¡¯d just shut up! If he went on, what next? If he said he was in love with me right there, what would happen? I shut my eyes hard as my heart threatened to implode. Would Gabriel appear out of nowhere to claim his prize? Or would I magically disappear and be taken to him? Above all my wandering thoughts I could clearly hear his voice. ¡®¡­ without it I¡¯d have no place in your life.¡¯


    Michael¡¯s hand on my shoulder made me jump and I felt dizzy.


    ¡°Mari ...¡± I brushed his hand away and gave another step back. I could feel my skin too hot and damp, almost as if I was running a fever.


    ¡°How can you possible even dare to guess what he¡¯s feeling?¡± I demanded, aggressively, and his surprised expression made me lower my gaze. ¡°You don¡¯t even know what you¡¯re feeling! How can you? If you don¡¯t remember anything!¡± I went on, perfectly aware of how hurtful my words were, knowing he was not to blame for the mess I was in, but not knowing how else to put a stop to all that. ¡°You can only know the strength of your feelings by comparing them to other experienced feelings. If you don¡¯t have a past, how can you tell if what you¡¯re feeling now is important or not?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± he immediately answered and his hands framed my face, startling me, making me raise my head to face him. His soft gaze bore into mine, frightened and anxious, and even after all the terrible things I¡¯d just told him, he smiled gently. ¡°I already know all of that. You think I never thought about it? Because I didn¡¯t know what to do ... Because it¡¯s not like someone can come into my heart and explain to me what I¡¯m feeling, the same way they can explain a path that I¡¯ve forgotten. But then I realized that, even when you do have a past, there¡¯s always a first time for everything. And that when it happens we¡¯re always left confused and unsure. And so I stopped worrying about that. I told myself that, as long as I¡¯m honest with myself and with those around me, I¡¯ll probably be able to go through life without making too many mistakes.¡± Michael took a deep breath and his fingers caressed my skin, making me wobbly. ¡°When I tell you I have feelings for you it¡¯s because I do. I may not be able to properly name them yet, but that doesn¡¯t mean I don¡¯t feel them. I like being around you and I miss you every time you¡¯re gone. Your smile makes me smile. Your voice grants me peace. I surprise myself looking for you even when I know all too well you¡¯re not around. Steven says with all certainty that I¡¯m...¡± I placed my hand over his lips, the warm, soft skin under my palm making me shiver, and took a deep breath, since I¡¯d forgotten how to do it. I wished I could cry and get rid of all the sorrow inside me, but now I knew that would never happen. I took another deep breath and faced him with all my strength, with all my determination.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to know,¡± I declared. ¡°And I need you to promise me you¡¯ll never speak of this again!¡±


    ¡°But ...¡± he tried to mumble from under my hand and I pressed it even harder, silencing him once again.


    ¡°Michael! I¡¯m serious! And no questions either! If you can¡¯t do this ... then I¡¯ll never see you again!¡± He seemed to understand I wasn¡¯t joking and slowly nodded, which made me release him from his gag. ¡°I know you don¡¯t understand ... and that it¡¯s really unfair ... but right now, I just can¡¯t worry about any of that ... I¡¯m really sorry ...¡± I added, holding his hands, still on my face, and pulled them away.


    He just stood there, motionless, and I didn¡¯t dare face him again. The sound of bells marking the hour brought me back to life, and I turned around and walked away.


    ¡°Mari!¡± The sound of his voice stopped me in place. I¡¯d been sure he wouldn¡¯t follow me, that I¡¯d hurt him beyond repair. ¡°I don¡¯t understand, you¡¯re right! But there are many things I don¡¯t understand ... and I guess that, for now, I can live with one more, hoping one day you¡¯ll be able to explain it to me.¡± I turned back, completely speechless, and he smiled, quickly covering the space between us. ¡°I won¡¯t talk about this anymore, if it disturbs you so much,¡± he guaranteed, placing a hand on my head like he usually did and, for the first time, I didn¡¯t resent that treatment that always made me feel like a child being comforted by an adult. ¡°However, I want you to keep in mind that, no matter the name you want to give it, Gabriel feels the same way I do, about you,¡± he stated without the shadow of a doubt, and I turned away once again. ¡°Where are you going?¡± he asked after me, as I walked up the street.


    ¡°Church,¡± I replied dryly and I heard him run to catch up once more.


    ¡°Are you mad at me?¡± he asked, easily accompanying my furious footsteps and I shook my head.


    ¡°No. And enough of this talk.¡±


    I heard him sigh and, as we went around the corner, there it was, the House of God. The main door was open and, at the top of the tower, raising well above ground, were the dark bronze bells that had called me there.


    I stopped by the door, peering inside. Michael laughed and walked by me, holding my hand and towing me behind him.


    ¡°What are you doing? Standing there by the door! You know, it¡¯s not like someone is going to hit you for going inside,¡± he joked and I couldn¡¯t help smile sarcastically. Who, in my shoes, could be sure of such a thing?


    We walked hand in hand through the main aisle and my gaze fell upon the ceiling paintings, portraying small child-like cherubs, smiling down at us from between white fluffy clouds. The walls were filled with paintings representing passages from the Bible and, behind the Altar covered in white linen, a huge golden cross oversaw the whole church. Surrounding it there were two statues both much bigger than any Human Being and, at their feet , two intricate flower arrangements, mainly made of dark-red roses like Alexander¡¯s eyes, and white lilies like Gabriel¡¯s marble-like skin.


    I looked around, going over the carved columns and long, worn off, wooden benches. The silence filled the air around us. There was no one there, in that sacred place.


    ¡°What are you looking for?¡± Michael asked, standing beside me, his voice echoing through the emptiness, and I sighed taking a seat.


    ¡°An angel,¡± I answered and he looked curiously at me. Because he¡¯d told me that angels used to meet in places like that, I recalled ... and maybe it was true. And I just couldn¡¯t see them ...


    ¡°An angel?!¡± Michael joked sitting beside me. What other hope was there? I was at my limit ... Him leaving had postponed my fall, but for how long? The precipice before me was still there, darkly waiting for me. ¡°What do you want an angel for?¡± he asked and I raised my head towards the colorful paintings covering the ceiling.


    ¡°So that he will help me wake up my Guardian Angel. Because he fell asleep ... and left me alone ...¡± The pain in my chest became even harder to bear. He too ... had left, leaving me behind without a single word. Michael wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his body, surrounding me with his warmth.


    ¡°I¡¯m here, you know. I can always be you Guardian Angel, if you want,¡± he suggested lightly and I smiled, noticing that, behind his half-joking smile, he was actually being serious.


    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be easy, you know? It would probably be even dangerous. And you¡¯d probably have to fight some demons, too.¡±


    ¡°Come on ... What are a dozen demons or so? Let them come!¡± he challenged and we laughed together, which made me feel better. I could only imagine Gabriel¡¯s expression if he heard him say something like that.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 18 - Part 4

    Over the days that followed I found myself dividing my time between Rachel and Michael. Not that I wished to spend so much time with him, especially after that first conversation. However, his constant phone calls had made my mother his biggest and most active fan. And she¡¯d ask me almost every day about when our next date would be. Eternally curious, she¡¯d be waiting for me to return, perched on the living room¡¯s window, every time I got home. But, to her disappointment, I never allowed Michael to go in.


    And so my life fell back into a new, calmer and more predictable routine. My day to day went back to be what it used to be, without Magic Spells, or demons, or strange powers. There were no more daily episodes of unexplained terror. No more emotional highs and downs.


    When Rachel started to get worried from the lack of news from Gabriel, I told myself there was nothing to worry about. Even when she picked up the phone to call him on his cell phone and it rang endlessly without anyone answering. Or when she decided to call Gabriel¡¯s mother, my supposed aunt, only to be answered by the robotic voice of an answering machine, constantly repeating that the number in question was out of service. None of that was any of my concern. My life had finally gone back to normal.


    The only thing out of place in my new perfect life were the nightmares that woke me up every single night. However, and contrary to my previous recurrent dreams, this ones I could never seem recall. All I knew was that I¡¯d suddenly find myself wide awake, sitting on my bed, with a silent scream lost in my lips, completely drenched in cold sweat. In those brief, frightening moments, I couldn¡¯t resist the impulse to search the air, looking for even the smallest sign of his presence, my name, in his deep, velvet voice, echoing in my mind as if he¡¯d just been there, right beside me.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    School holidays were almost over when my face muscles started to ache. My real smiles were fewer everyday and only then did I truly realize how much I was out of practice in the art of appropriately smiling every time it was expected of me.


    Rachel, in her constant preoccupation about a nephew that didn¡¯t even exist, and trying at the same time to reassure me, had made up some story about a road trip that Gabriel would supposedly have taken during holidays. Surely he¡¯d be back before the beginning of school term. I¡¯d began to doubt it ... And although such thoughts should have make me feel relieved, happy even, my bitterness only grew deeper day by day. I¡¯d stopped being able to refuse the images constantly playing in my mind, and almost everything in that house reminded me of Lea and him. I found myself wishing that, at the very least, he¡¯d call, just to let me know they were still alive ... the shadow of that mystic war weighing on my chest. And the voice that, up till then had fought to keep me unchanged, finally went silent.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 18 - Part 5

    Part 5


    We¡¯d just finished dinner when the sound of our doorbell rang, leaving us both immediately alert.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s that inconsiderate cousin of yours,¡± Rachel tried to sound critic but hopefulness was all I could hear.


    My heartbeat increased immediately and I almost ran to the door.


    ¡°Who is it?¡± I asked and waited for an answer, my hand already on the door handle.


    ¡°It¡¯s me, Stephanie.¡±


    Her clearly female voice made me feel as if a bucket of cold water had just been poured over me, but I still opened the door as fast as I could, still doubting that I would really find her standing there.


    Steph looked at me, cold and hard, as it had became customary in last few weeks, and I just stood there, not really knowing what to say.


    ¡°Hei, Stephanie! Long time no see,¡± I heard Rachel¡¯s cheerful voice coming from behind me, and Steph looked over me smiling politely.


    ¡°Good evening Mrs. Mellis,¡± she greeted her.


    ¡°What are you doing, Mari!¡± my mom demanded in a reprimand. ¡°Hurry up and invite her in!¡±


    I blinked, still at a loss, and awkwardly stepped aside, so that she could come in.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry to intrude so late at the night,¡± Steph went on, still talking to my mom.


    ¡°No problem at all! You¡¯re always welcome! But tell me, have you had dinner?¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you. I just came by because I have an important matter to discuss with Mari. I promise it won¡¯t take long.¡±


    ¡°No problem at all. Make yourself at home. Anything just shout,¡± she added, winking, and trotted back to the kitchen to start on the dishes.


    I looked at her once more and couldn¡¯t help feeling intimidated by how quickly her smile was gone the moment my mother turned her back on us. As fake as mine, I thought.


    ¡°Think we can talk in your room?¡±


    I simply nodded and went to the stairs, showing her the way, although she¡¯d been there in many other occasions. I could almost swear I could feel her piercing gaze stabbing my back and took a deep breath as I entered my room, offering her passage, before closing the door behind her.


    Stephanie walked in with a broad, decided step, and sat down, her back very straight, in the chair by my desk. Her gaze scanned my entire room as she observed her surroundings with a critical expression.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s the same, around here,¡± she noted. ¡°Since he managed to make you change your wardrobe I kind of expected that he¡¯d manage to change the rest as well.¡± That truly irked me and I folded my arms, frowning.


    ¡°What do you want from me?¡±


    She looked at me for a moment and leaned her head on her hand, observing me intently.


    ¡°You, on the other hand, have changed. Before it would have be unthinkable hearing you use that tone of voice. You¡¯re not the same timid, shy girl that could hardly say what she was thinking.¡±


    ¡°You have also changed,¡± I accused and she sighed.


    ¡°Yes ... Well, since it¡¯s late I¡¯ll be going directly to the point. As I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve guessed, I¡¯m here to talk about Gabriel,¡± she frontally told me and waited for my reaction.


    ¡°Contrary to what you might think, there¡¯s nothing going on between us,¡± I clarified and she sat upright which made her look even more intimidating.


    ¡°I know.¡± I blinked, completely baffled.


    ¡°If you know ... why all this?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re an idiot that doesn¡¯t understand much of anything!¡± she dryly declared and stood up, pretending to be interested on my bookshelves. I didn¡¯t answer and waited until she turned back to face me. ¡°Do you know why I got close to him? What a stupid question ... of course you don¡¯t,¡± she replied herself without giving me the chance to do it. ¡°It was all because of you, of course. Because we were friends. And because I thought I was the only one who could understand you. Because it was as if you needed me to talk, to move. Because I was the only one who knew about your impossible love ... And yet, even being so close to you, I never managed to make you change one single thing about yourself. And then ... then he came along, out of nowhere, a cousin I¡¯d never even heard about, and in a couple of days he successfully did what I¡¯d been trying to do since the beginning of the year. I felt frustrated! I guess I even felt jealous. Suddenly the time you used to spend with us had to be shared with him and, as if it that wasn¡¯t enough, he even succeeded in making Michael and you grow closer. I guess I just didn¡¯t want to feel left behind. And so I decided to get close to him, since he¡¯d become the center of your everyday life ...¡±


    ¡°Steph ...¡± I muttered, moved. I was speechless ... What could I possibly say? Gabriel¡¯s influence over me could never be compared to a friendly advice. He hadn¡¯t suggested that I should change. He had forced me to do it. The Contract that bound us demanded so. And yet I¡¯d never even noticed how she felt, and for that I was the only one to blame. Self-centered as I¡¯d been, only seeing my own problems, I¡¯d never even stopped to wonder how the people around me felt about everything that was happening. I¡¯d hurt Steph, and Joanne, and I hadn¡¯t even noticed it.


    ¡°No need to feel guilty. In the end the error was mine. Because I wanted to monopolize your attention,¡± she told me but, even so, her tone was hard and cold. ¡°He didn¡¯t tell you, did he? What happened that Tuesday.¡± I shook my head in response. The Tuesday when everything had changed. When I¡¯d ran away and hid at Michael¡¯s place. ¡°I followed him. I¡¯d done it many times before, not knowing exactly what I expected to find. Sometimes I¡¯d just tell myself that this was the only way I had to learn a bit more about him. Sometimes I wished I would find some dark secret that could prove to you that he really wasn¡¯t the friendly, selfless character he seemed to be in front of everyone else,¡± she confessed and I felt sorry for her. Show me that he wasn¡¯t who he seemed to be at school ... ? No one knew that better than I did ... ¡°I can still clearly remember it as if it were yesterday. When I finally caught up with him he was punching a tree, repeatedly, wood chips flying everywhere, as silent tears slid down his face. He looked utterly furious to the point of frightening, and yet ... I would have never imagined that he could cry like that. And so I went to stop him. And for a split second I thought he was going to hit me instead. But then something detained his hand. I didn¡¯t know what else to do. Of course something had clearly happened to make him so upset. And it was obvious he was in no condition to deal with anything else, or even to talk about it. It was almost night and so I offered to walk him home, but he refused. So I decided to take him to my place instead, at least until he calmed down enough to think straight,¡± I swallowed hard and squeezed my hands together, bracing myself for what would follow. Steph seemed to notice my anxiety and a cruel smile stretched her beautiful lips. ¡°My mother had left to do some shopping, my father still hadn¡¯t come back from work. I made him sit on the couch and he just sat there, staring into nothingness. I offered him something to drink but he didn¡¯t even blink. I asked him what had happened but he didn¡¯t answer. He only reacted when I asked about you. His face went back to that scary expression, his fists clenched into tight balls. And do you know what he told me with a hoarse voice? ¡®She¡¯s with Michael.¡¯ Were his only words.¡° The sharp pain was back in my chest making it hard to breathe. I couldn¡¯t imagine his perfect face distorted into the expression she described. I couldn¡¯t understand how his soft, velvet voice could ever sound hoarse. And yet she¡¯d seen all that. In her words he was so Human ... ! ¡°I kissed him,¡± she stated and I stared at her in disbelief. ¡°That¡¯s right. I don¡¯t know why I did it, but I did,¡± she confirmed with a smile, touching her own lips as if she could still feel him. ¡°He was naturally taken by surprise but looked calmer than before, and didn¡¯t push me away. I¡¯d never kissed anyone like that ... And it made me want him in a way I¡¯ve never wanted anything in my life! And since his hands didn¡¯t push me away I decided to make him mine,¡± she concluded, her perceptive gaze not allowing her to be deceived by my apparent indifference. ¡°That¡¯s right. I took him to my bedroom and, when my mom came back, told her I was too tired and that I wanted to go to bed a bit earlier than usual. I spent the whole night with him, feeling him inside me, smelling the scent of his skin, tasting his breath in my mouth.¡±


    I felt my legs shaking and, in that precise moment, was sure I felt for her the same exact thing her expression had shown me every single day since that Tuesday.


    She smiled again, as if appreciating the moment, and sat down once again, crossing her elegant legs.


    ¡°Does it disturb you? What I¡¯ve just told you?¡± she questioned, her sarcasm all too palpable to go unnoticed.


    ¡°No,¡± I lied and raised my head not wanting to admit defeat. At least not in front of her! ¡°Why would it? Everyone knows you two are together,¡± I declared. Steph averted her gaze and her nonchalant posture became more tense.


    ¡°We were never together,¡± she told me dryly. ¡°Sure we spent that night together but, even then ...¡± She left it hanging and turned to me, hatred filling her eyes, making me realize just how much she¡¯d been pretending to be indifferent to my presence, sitting beside me every day at school. ¡°I could come here and make a wreck out of you with tales of a wonderful romance that would make you cry the rest of the night. But that¡¯s not why I came,¡± she told me and I swallowed my protest of denial. ¡°I came here to end this once and for all! During this holidays I had some time to think things through which, I confess, I still hadn¡¯t done. I¡¯ve been so determined to keep him away from you that time seems to have slipped away between my fingers. But, as strange as it may sound, since the end of the term, when I stopped seeing him, things started to become clearer. For example, would you believe me if I told you that during the whole night we were together he didn¡¯t touch me one single time?¡± she added, bitterness filling her voice, and some of the hate I¡¯d felt for her just moments ago started to dissipate. ¡°Not even once ... not a single caress ... nothing ... no matter what I did or how much I wished for it ... and so I was sure that everything was over even before it began. That it would never be more than a one night stand, especially after I woke up in the morning to find out he was already gone. However, even though I¡¯d decided to be a grown-up about it all, by the end of the day something irreversible had changed inside me. I missed him deeply, to the point that it hurt and not only emotionally. My body was burning up without the touch of his cold skin. And so I decided that I wouldn¡¯t allow things to be over just like that ... But when I talked with him I was once again shown what I already knew; that what had happened between us had had no importance whatsoever to him. And yet, even then, I just couldn¡¯t give up! Of all the times I tried to talk to him about us, he¡¯d just listen in silence and, in the end, always told me the same thing, that what I wanted was never going to happen. But for me! For me was as if I couldn¡¯t live without him! And so I made sure to use all the arguments I had at my disposal, even those I knew would hurt him most, like the fact that you only had eyes for Michael. I even hopped he¡¯d lose control again, so that I could take care of him as before. But he never did. Always so cold and indifferent ... I¡¯m sure you can imagine how I felt when he walked up to me, a few days later, and told me that he was willing to try to make things work between us ...¡± she added and I shuddered with sudden realization.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    All those times he¡¯d disappeared ... up till then I¡¯d been sure he¡¯d spent them with her. Which was true, except not the way I¡¯d imagined it. He¡¯d been trying to break up with her. Their relationship had been limited to just that one night, until I interfered, forcing him to accept that stupid agreement, making him go back on his decision. Because of that, he¡¯d gotten closer to Steph again, something he obviously didn¡¯t want to do. How could I¡¯ve been so blind!


    ¡°Steph, you¡¯re wrong about us!¡± I pleaded, as I¡¯d pleaded before, and she folded her arms raising her head to face me.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t insult me! You think I¡¯m stupid? Sure I know about your fixation with Michael Newton! But surely you¡¯re not arrogant enough to think you¡¯re able to measure everyone else¡¯s feelings through your own!¡± I couldn¡¯t help feel as if I¡¯d just been slapped. ¡°I know what I saw and felt next to Gabriel,¡± she added. "And if I refused to face the truth, or acknowledge it, it was because I couldn¡¯t even imagine being apart from him. But now ... now that¡¯s not even possible anymore.¡° She opened her small purse and took out three white envelopes. ¡°Take them. This is why I came.¡±


    I took a step forward to accept her strange gift. I turned them in my hands, noticing they¡¯d all been opened, and read his name on all of them where it said ¡®from¡¯, in that beautiful calligraphy. These were letters he had written to her, I realized, that strange pain piercing my chest. But besides his name and hers there was nothing else. No stamps, no dates, not even addresses.


    ¡°They were written for you,¡± I pointed out, trying as hard as I could to hide the bitterness in my voice, and prepared to return them to their rightful owner. The last thing I wanted was to know what he had written to her.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought, when the first one came. But then, after the last one everything got much clear. Although they¡¯re addressed to me, he wrote them for you. All he did, he did it for you. And I just can¡¯t find enough words to tell you how much I hate you for it.¡± Her words stung in my already raw chest. ¡°But I also know that he did what he did because he was taking into account your feelings for me, and so I just can¡¯t help feeling bad, because I know that it¡¯s wrong of me to hate you the way I do; you who always wanted what¡¯s best for me ... I¡¯m really sorry, Mari. In the end it¡¯s not your fault ... nor his. The fault is all mine. I was the one who decided to take him to my room. But, from then on, it wasn¡¯t my fault either. Because no one can control or decide what to feel.¡±


    ¡°Oh, Steph ...¡± I sobbed crushing the letters in my hand, feeling the paper crumble under my fingers. ¡°None of this is your fault. It¡¯s mine! It¡¯s all mine! And I just don¡¯t know how to ask for your forgiveness ...¡± I lamented and she frowned, annoyed again.


    ¡°Will you please get over yourself?! Who do you think you are?¡± she demanded angrily.


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted. ¡°I was the one who brought him into our lives!¡±


    ¡°And since when are we responsible for other people¡¯s actions? Stop being so full of yourself, thinking that you have control over other people¡¯s lives just because they¡¯re close to you!¡± She took a deep breath, as if to calm herself down. ¡°Did you know that Mark called me a few days ago?¡± A soft smile touched her lips making her look more like the Steph I knew. ¡°At first I even refused to talk with him. I was feeling so desperate with Gabriel gone that I just couldn¡¯t face him. But he kept insisting and called my home every single day. He even went to my house and refused to leave until I saw him.


    ¡°We talked a lot. What I did to him ... is unforgivable. I just left him like that, without a single word. But, even so, he says he forgives me. We went out a few times and, near him, I discovered this peaceful feeling I didn¡¯t recall feeling before, but that I¡¯d strangely missed. Of course things aren¡¯t like they used to be. Don¡¯t know if they¡¯ll ever be. I¡¯m perfectly aware that I¡¯m in no position to demand or expect anything from him and, for now, I feel rather content with the way things are. We promised to be completely honest with each other and so I told him everything, even the things I knew would hurt him. And he accepted everything. And then it was my turn to listen in his own voice to all the hurt I¡¯d caused him. But do you know what he told me in the end?¡± I stood silent, waiting for her to go on. ¡°He told me that Gabriel had been the one to give him courage to come look for me. That Gabriel went to him and told him to stop being a coward and start fighting for what he really wanted.¡± A bitter smile tugged at her lips. ¡°It¡¯s like he delivered me into Mark¡¯s arms,¡± she added spitefully. ¡°Not that I¡¯m complaining. Mark is really wonderful.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean that ...¡± I muttered, not knowing how to ask the question, and Steph stood up in her whole female glory, looking completely sure of herself.


    ¡°I have nothing else to do with your cousin. I don¡¯t even intend to ever talk to him again. Please tell him that, next time you hear from him. And now I should go. It¡¯s late and I don¡¯t want to worry my mom. Keep those. They were written for you, anyways,¡± she added, looking at the letters crumpled in my hand, and went straight for the door.


    ¡°Wait, Steph!¡± I asked and she stopped for a moment, still keeping her back to me. ¡°What about ... us?¡± I questioned, nervously. ¡°Can¡¯t we be ...¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need me anymore, Mari,¡± she stated coldly.


    ¡°That was never the question! I never thought about being your friend because I needed you!¡± I countered and she took a deep breath.


    ¡°You¡¯re not the same. I¡¯ve changed as well. Who knows, maybe someday our paths will cross again. But for now ...¡± She left it hanging and I couldn¡¯t help feeling sad. What had been broken between us couldn¡¯t be that easily repaired. ¡°No need to escort me out. I know the way. See you Monday,¡± she told me dryly and left, closing the door behind her.


    I sat on my bed and cried in silence and without tears. Stephanie would never be my Steph again. My first friend in that new life Rachel and I had started together had just disappeared.


    My tired gaze ended up on the envelopes I¡¯d set down beside me and I grabbed the first one, taking out a single piece of paper. The letters printed on it were long and elegant, carefully drawn and not simply written. The date, in the right corner, was from the first day of holidays and I couldn¡¯t help feel disappointed.


    At least she had received news from him. I, not even that. I¡¯d told myself I couldn¡¯t care less about what he¡¯d written her but now curiosity took over. Yes, because whatever Steph had said, thinking those letters were meant for me, she¡¯d been the one to receive them. And so I allowed my eyes to wander over his beautiful handwriting.


    London, 7th of April


    To Stephanie.


    I¡¯m really sorry for having left without a word. I had to go back home during the holidays and, as it was all a last minute decision, there was no time for goodbyes. I hope you won¡¯t miss me much.


    Now that I¡¯m no longer around, please try and talk things over with Mari. She always worries more than she should and only wants what¡¯s best for you. Remember she¡¯s not your enemy. If anyone should be, then it¡¯s me, since I was the reason your friendship fell apart. I never wished for things to turn out like this.


    If you do see her, please tell her that I¡¯m all right. I don¡¯t want her to worry needlessly. One the other hand, I guess she won¡¯t worry at all. Most likely she doesn¡¯t even care. So maybe it¡¯s best if you don¡¯t tell her anything. It would most likely just disturb her peace. If you do see her and she asks for me, just tell her that my little brother talks about her every day. That should be enough.


    If everything goes as planned I¡¯ll be back next week.


    Until then


    Gabriel


    I passed my fingers over the perfect letters and found myself smiling gently. He¡¯d thought about me, although I¡¯d mentally accused him of disappearing whenever it suited him. And Lea ... Lea too, hadn¡¯t forgotten me.


    I put the paper back in its envelop and grabbed the next one. Like the previous one it also contained one single sheet of paper.


    London, 12th of April


    To Stephanie.


    I know I should be returning today but, unfortunately, that won¡¯t be possible. Things are a little complicated, right now, and it will take some time sorting things out. Still, you mustn¡¯t worry, please.


    What about Mari? Have you talked with her. If you didn¡¯t please do! You just have no idea of how much she worries about you, of what she¡¯s able to put herself through, in hopes of protecting you. You know her well, probably better than I do. And I¡¯m sure you¡¯re aware that all the nonsense you filled your head with is totally baseless. Please don¡¯t make her suffer. She doesn¡¯t wish you to.


    Please tell her that we¡¯re fine, next time you see her. My little brother just won¡¯t shut up asking me to return as soon as possible. However, it¡¯s out of my hands. In any case, I know she feels better and more at ease now that I¡¯m gone. If she ever even remembers me it must be to thank the heavens that I still haven¡¯t returned. And now, that I¡¯m far away, she has even more time to spend with Michael. I¡¯m sure that that makes her smile more often.


    As soon as I know when I¡¯ll be back I¡¯ll let you now. Until then, please don¡¯t wait for me. I¡¯m sure you have other people with whom you can pleasantly spend your time with. Enjoy your holidays.


    Gabriel


    I lowered that piece of paper deeply annoyed at him. Why did he have to constantly put thoughts in my head that weren¡¯t even there to begin with? He hardly knew me! How did he dare to think that those poor arguments could justify the fact that he hadn¡¯t called even once during the entire vacations?


    I took an instant to go through his words once again.


    Well, I couldn¡¯t really deny that he¡¯d been right, that those were all logical things ... things I should probably be thinking right now. After all, I¡¯d finally managed to resume my normal life. I no longer had to fear meeting him around every corner. I could go out with Michael whenever I wanted and return home without having to fear his reaction. I didn¡¯t have to try to wrap my brain around concepts that no other Human Being had even heard about, or hear names and words that didn¡¯t exist anywhere else in the world. Weren¡¯t it for that mark, reddening the soft skin of my wrist, everything would have really gone back to normal. And yet ...


    Smiling ... or even crying, were things I wasn¡¯t able to do on my own. I knew that somewhere inside me inhabited a new kind of pain, one that I didn¡¯t dare face or question, for fear of what I might find out. And so I just kept everything really still, completely motionless, knowing that the softest gust of wind or even the smallest of waves could be enough to wake up that other part of me. As long as I kept still the pain could be forgotten and I could go back to being who I was before, reflecting other people¡¯s emotions and faking them whenever needed.


    I smiled bitterly and placed the letter on the bed, picking up the last envelope. I couldn¡¯t help feeling sad. I felt like a broken doll that he¡¯d managed to get to work, but once he was gone, slowly went back to its primary motionless state.


    I unfolded the last piece of paper and it took me only one look to notice that this was the longest letter so far. The date was from the day before, as if it had been hand delivered to Steph¡¯s door.


    London, 16th of April


    To Stephanie.


    I don¡¯t really know how to tell you this. I fear I may cause you pain and I truly hope this is not the case. Mari would never forgive me if you were to shed a single tear on my account. In truth, all I did, even accepting to try and make things work between us, I did it all at her request. Obviously the initial mistake was all mine, for allowing someone like you to get involved with someone like me. And, once a mistake has been committed, it¡¯s only fair that one should pay for it. Mari¡¯s anger at me for what I did to you was so intense she even dared raise her voice. I wonder if you can even imagine her doing something like that. She demanded that I didn¡¯t hurt you and all I¡¯ve done up till now was to try and fulfill her demand. Mari may not understand me, but she knows my true nature. She knows I¡¯ll never be able to make anyone happy. So, please, don¡¯t cry for me. If possible, just pretend it was all an illusion, a magic trick from which you¡¯re finally free. We both know you don¡¯t truly love me. You¡¯ve always been a smart, observant girl. I, on the other hand, will never be able to love you back. That is a word whose meaning is unknown to me. Even so, while living with Mari, I experimented and did things I¡¯d never even imagine I could, like writing a letter like the one I¡¯m now sending to you.


    I¡¯m not going to return. I wish I could say I¡¯ll never return again, but, although I know this is the right thing to do, I just can¡¯t make any promises. I left many important things behind, things that I may yet come to need. But you can tell Mari that if I ever have to return I¡¯ll be so fast that she won¡¯t even notice me. I¡¯ll never interfere with her life again, as long as she keeps living in that house.


    I hope that, with time, everything goes back to how it was before, since that¡¯s Mari¡¯s true and only wish. Maybe we¡¯ll meet again, some day.


    Gabriel


    I only noticed how my hands were shaking when I tried to read his name for the third time, the elegant letters before my eyes constantly escaping me. The bitter taste that filled my mouth made me sob. I took a hand to my mouth, sealing it shut, refusing to believe that I¡¯d be crying like a child if only I could cry when I felt like it.


    Gabriel was not coming back.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 19 - Part 1

    Chapter 19


    LOE


    ¨C Path of Cheth. The Bearer of the Sangraal. The Black Brothers.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°If all I hear is silence ¡­ if all I see is darkness ... if all I feel is emptiness ... How can I be sure I still exist?


    Just because something in my chest keeps beating and my tired mind is still able to think?


    What life is this that inhabits me, leaving me lost and unfeeling,


    leading me towards nonexistent worlds as I desperately try to escape reality?


    In truth, if I feel nothing, and nothing fulfills me, then I can only be dead, dreaming about life, in this eternal sleep."


    Just as planned Rachel ended up returning to Paris at the end of the week. She wasn¡¯t pleased with the idea of leaving me alone and I had to make use of every possible argument to reassure her, trying my best to convince her that Gabriel would probably arrive the next day. I didn¡¯t tell her that, in fact, he was never coming back. That would only make her worry. With or without him, she had work to do that required her presence and no way to just stay in London without making previous arrangements.


    After making me promise I¡¯d call her as soon as he got home, she gave me a long kiss and an even tighter hug, and left to catch her cab. I managed to keep my most convincing smile in place until the cab disappeared down the road, but it quickly withered away the moment I closed the door.


    Her departure had the same effect on me as the drop of a first domino in one of those intricate patterns designed to sequentially fall apart. And, without knowing how to avoid it, I found myself dragged towards a descending spiral that inevitably ended in darkness. Nevertheless the time around me kept moving forward and Monday arrived as it was supposed to.


    I awoke after another poorly slept night, constantly interrupted by nightmares I could never seem to remember, and stood up, feeling as if I¡¯d just left part of me lying there under the quilt.


    The silence that accompanied me at breakfast made me take even less time to eat, and I left the house stepping into a cold but sunny morning. I walked to school, feeling half asleep, and when I finally reached my goal I could hardly recall how I¡¯d gotten there.


    As usual, Michael was waiting for me and his smile brought my dormant body back to life.


    I didn¡¯t tell him about Steph¡¯s unexpected visit. I tried as hard as I could to put all that out of my mind. I walked draped in his usual warmth almost up to my classroom and, as I saw him walk away, it seemed like he took what little bit of energy I had with him.


    It was Joanne who brought me back to reality. I felt glad that she seemed to be talking to me again, greeting me as always and asking me about my holidays. We walked together to our seats and her description of how wonderful her vacations had been was only interrupted by Stephanie¡¯s arrival.


    Contrary to Joanne, Steph didn¡¯t even look my way, nor Joanne¡¯s for that matter. She just sat silently, her back very straight, completely ignoring our presence. Joanne frowned, clearly displeased with her attitude. I was sure she had decided that, once we were all back to school, she¡¯d forgive us and things would be back to the way they used to. But Steph didn¡¯t want to go back, she never would. Unlike me, always trying to hold on to the old me, she would accept all that had happened and embrace her changed self. I was envious of her strength, even if that meant we would never be friends again.


    Without Joanne¡¯s chatter to keep me focused on one point I was lost among the unintelligible sounds that surrounded me. There were laughter, awes and chairs dragging over the floor, but the world that surrounded seemed unreal and distant.


    Professor Frederich came in not long after, silence following him before he announced he had something to tell us.


    My heart jumped at his words, knowing instinctively what would come next. Still I almost bit my tongue when he announced in a nonchalant tone that, due to family problems, Gabriel Lawless had been transferred to another school.


    From the corner of my eye I saw Steph clench her fists, although she kept sitting very straight, apparently indifferent.


    The murmur that filled the air had our teacher demanding silence in an angry voice, and I could immediately foresee what my following school days would be like. All that was needed was for the bell to ring.


    I felt dizzy looking up at all the faces that surrounded my desk even before the bell had stopped ringing, their words lost to me the moment they were uttered. I knew they were asking me about Gabriel, about the true reasons behind his sudden disappearance, and so I just picked up what the teacher had said, that it had been a family urgency. I wasn¡¯t sure if that would be enough, but their sorrowful expressions and wishes that everything would be fine soon told me it was.


    The rest of the morning went by me as if I lived in a misty world. At lunchtime I joined my friends in the cafeteria. Their relief when they saw me left me puzzled, until I understood they¡¯d thought I¡¯d also changed schools. After all, Gabriel¡¯s family was my family as well.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    They¡¯d already heard the news, but I had to repeat the story about a family tragedy that demanded Gabriel¡¯s presence. Once more everyone empathized with my family¡¯s problems, sending their best to Gabriel the next time I spoke with him. To my relief, the theme of the conversation quickly changed, going back to what everyone had done during the holidays.


    I sat there, listening to what they said and forgetting all about it just seconds later. I laughed when everyone laughed and tried to look surprised when the others did, pretending to follow their conversation.


    It was Joe who reminded me of the time, probably thinking that I¡¯d been so engrossed in our talk that I¡¯d completely forgotten about it. He was right about the last part, anyway.


    I made myself smile, not knowing what to say when everyone looked at me with amused expressions, and ended up mumbling something that sounded like a ¡®see you later¡¯ before I left.


    Michael was waiting for me by the glass door and, as usual, I almost ran to meet him. I took a deep breath as I stepped outside and it felt like the last time I¡¯d breathed was when he¡¯d left me near my classroom.


    We walked together and Michael told me the news, like the championship Steven had won during the holidays, and the fact that Meggie seemed to have finally settled down with just one boyfriend. Inevitably, Gabriel¡¯s sudden departure became part of our talk and I told him about my family¡¯s problem that at this point had become less ambiguous. By then my aunt, Gabriel¡¯s mother, had fallen sick and that¡¯s why he had to leave. Michael sounded worried, even sorry for Gabriel whom, during our holiday dates, he¡¯d come to really dislike.


    As it had become his habit, Michael took me home, and I tried to keep my brightest smile in place, at least until the door was closed. Once alone I could finally take a deep breath and stop pretending. I felt so tired from my long day that all I wanted was to drop dead on my bed and fall asleep, and yet, sleeping always meant dreaming, and dreaming always meant nightmares, terrible nightmares that I never seemed to remember.


    The silence around me left me deaf, almost as if I¡¯d just entered a huge bubble of nothingness. Even my steps, as I climbed up the stairs, seemed soundless. I put my books down, next to the letters that I hadn¡¯t had the courage to touch again, and sat down on my bed.


    Closing my eyes I finally freely accepted the darkness that had been watching me all day long. I was too tired, too tired to run, or fight, or scream in despair, and the numbness that had taken over me didn¡¯t allow me to even be frightened or care. At least, suspended in that state between awareness and sleep, I could easily erase the world around me. Immersed in that darkness, I didn¡¯t have to avoid my own feelings that, just like a heavy spear thrown into the sea, kept sinking inside me as time went by. I also didn¡¯t have to pretend, or try too hard to please those around me. There were no voices, no images, no time.


    If before I hadn¡¯t quite understood what Alexander had meant about my inability to feel like everyone else, now it was painfully clear. In the end, my wish had been granted and my life had gone back to what it used to be. And so I should be happy, I thought, ecstatic even. Gabriel had disappeared. Steph was back with Mark. Michael was always by my side. Even Joanne had gone back to talking to me. And yet, I felt nothing.


    Then maybe I should be unhappy, frustrated, disappointed. After all, I had all I¡¯d wished for and it still wasn¡¯t enough. But not even unhappiness I was able to feel. After all I¡¯d done, after fighting so hard, what I¡¯d gained in return couldn¡¯t fulfill me.


    Had I always been like this before my life had been overtaken by demons? I didn¡¯t recall feeling this empty. Dull, yes, as if all my feelings weren¡¯t true feelings but mere shadows. But like this? Or maybe I had been exactly like this, maybe this was my true self. The difference being that now I¡¯d tasted what was like to really live in the world, to have real emotions filling my chest, burning in my blood. And so the empty me felt even emptier, now that all that was gone.


    The sound of a small bell startled me, leaving me eyes wide open, as I strained my hearing in the hope I would hear even farther. The false and apparent peace I¡¯d managed to achieve shattered as my heart jumped beating too fast and, for a moment, I could feel again. I jumped to my feet and ran out the door, and down the stairs, trying to hold on with all my strength to the warmth circling in my veins, to the anxiety knotting my throat, to my wish that I¡¯d see him soon. I ran to the living room, my labored breath filling the air around me, and looked ... and looked ... and looked again, my eyes flying over the same places more than once. Empty. As soon as the word popped in my mind, I ran to the kitchen, again desperately searching, over and over again, afraid of looking but not being able to see. Until everything inside me began to slow down again, my emotions once more sinking into darkness.


    The sound of my own laughter startled me and I crouched, taking a deep breath.


    So, this was what I¡¯d become.


    I embraced my knees and hid my face between my arms.


    According to Alexander I could only really feel through my Soul, and my Soul had silenced herself the moment he¡¯d stepped out of my life. It was almost as if he¡¯d taken my true essence with him, although it hadn¡¯t belonged to me to begin with, and I had been left behind, empty. And there I was again, standing at the edge of that dark precipice that had considerably grown over the last few days, taking over most of my chest. But now ... now I no longer had any reasons to run from it, and I felt too tired to even consider such a laborious solution. And, as I allowed myself to feel the pain echoing through my whole body, burning me like acid, I screamed in silence and in despair, my nails digging into the skin of my arms. Images filled my mind, looks, words, expressions that only made the acid already corroding my insides become even stronger. All I could hear, see or feel was or came from him, as if his presence had remained imprinted in fire inside me, taking over of my entire being, driving me to the brink of insanity.


    I ran in despair, fearing I had plunged too deep into the darkness to be able to go back and, when I managed to breathe again, I felt my cheeks wet from tears I didn¡¯t remember crying. Still afraid of being dragged back into that darkness, I filled my mind with thoughts of Michael, my bright and warm personal sun. Michael¡¯s voice, Michael¡¯s smile, Michael¡¯s scent. He¡¯d become my only and frail light, the only flame able to reignite the shadow of a life that was left inside of me.


    And, as I went back into my room, I couldn¡¯t help wondering. If I¡¯d just gone back to being what I¡¯d always been, had Michael¡¯s presence, which I recalled thinking of as bright and intense as the midday sun, always been so faint? Or had my ability to see him also been dragged to the bottom of that abyss with the rest of my being?


    * If you want to   know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit   the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 19 - Part 2

    The days kept coming and going unnoticed.


    My new routine included following through with the essentials to keep up appearances. I replied to my mother¡¯s e-mails on a daily basis, making up all sorts of things and keeping Gabriel¡¯s prolonged absence a secret. I made sure to keep my school tasks in order, so teachers wouldn¡¯t worry about me, which could lead to unwanted phone calls to my mother in Paris. I always had lunch with my friends, shamelessly taking advantage of my shy social image. I smiled a lot and laughed opportunely at all the jokes shared. Of course, I diligently answered and re-answered all the questions regarding Gabriel¡¯s whereabouts. All in all, the most difficult person to deceive was Michael.


    In the beginning his presence was the only thing able to warm me up, to breathe a spark of what I¡¯d been back into me, and his presence helped me forget everything else. Being the bright sun that he was, all I had to do was turn towards him and be his mirror, reflecting his emotions and living through him. And so I smiled when he smiled, replied when he asked, accepted when he offered. But, as time went by, like everything else inside me, even my ability to be his mirror began to fade, as everything in me became dull and gray.


    The knowledge that I would end up unable to hide my darkness from him made me restless, and anxious ... in the beginning. But ultimately even that disappeared and I couldn¡¯t feel anything. Of course I still tried, as his worried expression became more common, but I just couldn¡¯t care. And so I watched indifferently as his anguish at his own inability to help me grew deeper day by day. Our moments alone were more silent every day until even his bright smile started to fade as well. Rationally speaking I could only wonder why he kept insisting on waiting for me, or escorting me home, when I was obviously such sour company and there were dozens of other girls, more cheerful and funnier than I, fighting for his attention. However, even when I told him I didn¡¯t mind if he¡¯d rather spend his time with his friends, the only reply I got was a hurt and indignant expression, and the absurd confirmation that there was nothing he treasured more than my company.


    On the other hand, my house, although certainly empty and silent, was constantly filled with sounds, voices and footsteps. The few first times I heard them I jumped to my feet and ran downstairs, looking everywhere, until I didn¡¯t remember what I was looking for anymore. Then I learned that those sounds only existed in my head and so I started to ignore them, ironically aware that hearing things could never be a good sign.


    From time to time, when the black precipice inside me threatened to overtake me, I¡¯d untie the ribbon around my wrist to make sure I hadn¡¯t gone completely insane; that all I remembered from before had really happened. The mark over my skin looked paler, not as raw as I recalled it, but to my relief it was as visible and perceptible as it had always been.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    My nights too, became increasingly chaotic. The nightmare that, like clockwork, woke me up every night, started to finally imprint on my memory. At first there were only unrelated images, too fast and too blurred to make any sense. But, eventually, I started to understand that it always took place in the same scenario where light could not really reach and the air was old and cold. Ferocious screams filled the air and lightning bolts blasted against the walls, or was it the sound of metal clashing against metal? I was always terrified, but, strangely enough, never for fear that something might happen to me. There was something I urgently needed to reach, something really important, but I just couldn¡¯t move. And then a ray of light would strike me down, leaving me blind and drowning in pain, and I would wake up. After that, no matter what I did or how much I tried, I could never go back to sleep. The pain, however, was very much real, slashing me from my left shoulder to the right side of my waist; my skin burning raw as if I¡¯d really been cut, even though no mark remained to prove it had been anything more than a nightmare.


    Too aware of what my recurrent dreams meant, I couldn¡¯t help wonder if that was what awaited me ... death, since I was sure no one could ever survive an injury like that.


    Besides those few things, nothing else mattered. I hadn¡¯t cooked anything since Rachel had left, making sure our fridge and freezer were stacked with food. I truly had no appetite whatsoever, and if I did eat it was because I knew I needed to in order to function.


    I also lost the ability to control time and, when I woke up from my frequent mental absences, hours would have gone by while I just sat somewhere, my mind completely blank.


    The living room had become practically forbidden and, normally, I¡¯d only go there when I couldn¡¯t convince myself that what I¡¯d just heard wasn¡¯t real.


    When I was able to grasp a few moments of clarity, I¡¯d look at myself, at what I¡¯d become, with disdain. In the end, I always wanted what I didn¡¯t have. But, when I asked myself what it was that I really wanted, the answer was always the same ¡ª nothing. If before I¡¯d wished for Michael¡¯s affections, now no will filled my empty heart.


    Ultimately it was as if Gabriel had really taken my Soul with him, which, on the other hand, didn¡¯t sound all that improbable. After all, she rightfully belonged to him. The world around me had lost its color and my life had remained incomplete and empty of any kind of meaning. The weeks followed each other in a constant succession of days, the days in a constant succession of hours, the hours in succession of long, slow, never ending minutes. All the same, all unchanged ... all empty.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 20 - Part 1

    Chapter 20


    ICH


    ¨C Yesod. The Frontier of the Abyss. <sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°And the prince leaned over the princess, awaking her from her eternal sleep, with a sweet kiss.


    But the lips that touch my skin burn me, leaving eternal marks.


    And although my sleep was cold, empty and cruelly lonely, the world to which I wake up is drowning in chaos.


    And so, unlike all those magic fairy tales, the first thing I feel is a deep pain for being forced to wake up."


    The piercing blast that roused me left me sitting on my bed, my breath labored and heavy. Still trembling, I ran a hand over my damp face and tried to calm down. Again, the same dream, the same that had tortured me night after night since he¡¯d left.


    I placed a hand over my jumping heart as if that could silence the pain pulsing inside my chest and took a deep breath. I looked at my alarm clock. I¡¯d woken even earlier than the nights before, which meant the following sleepless hours would seem even longer.


    Every night the same dream and, if that wasn¡¯t enough, the way I lived through it was getting more intense every day. I followed the nonexistent cut on my torso and winced, my skin, under the cotton fabric, hurting and burning in a way that I almost expected to see blood seeping through my pajamas'' top.


    The sound of something breaking made me jump, my mind suddenly alert, and I felt around the bedside table searching for the light switch. The sound seemed to have come from downstairs, maybe the kitchen. I kept quiet for a moment, trying to hear anything else, but nothing. Maybe I¡¯d left one of the glasses badly placed on the drainer and it¡¯d fell. And maybe I should go downstairs and check it, but I just didn¡¯t have the will to move. I recalled locking all the windows and doors like I always did. Unless a burglar had managed to get in the house!


    Unthinking, I reached for the cell phone and quickly found Michael¡¯s number. Right now he was the only one I could depend on. I was about to press the button when the air around me changed and, inexplicably, my hands started shaking. Suddenly it was as if someone had grabbed me from my hair and pulled me up, and up, and up across all those layers of darkness, violently throwing me over a floating board. I gasped for air and pain exploded in my head as all the emotions I had lost came back to me at once. I tried to breathe once, twice, but the air just wouldn¡¯t go down into my lungs and the anarchic, chaotic energy that filled the air made it even more difficult to breathe. Cold, hard fear washed over me and still I couldn¡¯t believe it. I couldn¡¯t believe that I was feeling again, that I was able to be afraid, terrified even.


    I dropped the cell phone immediately, clenching my hands together, trying to stop them from shaking. I couldn¡¯t recall feeling anything like this, not even when Alexander had unexpectedly shown up, angering Gabriel. But, even so, I knew exactly what was happening. I¡¯d already wondered when something would get past his barrier and come looking for him hoping to eliminate him, only to find me in his place. It was probably another Deiwos and this one would most certainly kill me.


    I smiled sarcastically, unable to stop my lips from trembling. There was no escape. Neither could I call Michael. There was nothing he could do against the power of a Deiwos and I¡¯d just be putting him in danger as well. In the end, even when dying, I¡¯d be alone.


    I breathed in deeply, trying to control my own body, and prepared myself for the inevitable. Ironically, I remembered that for a long time I¡¯d been ready to die at any moment. Gabriel¡¯s presence had terrified me so that I was sure I¡¯d end up being his victim sooner or later. But now ... now I couldn¡¯t stop myself from lamenting that my life was about to end at the hands of someone else, and wished that if I had to die, at least he¡¯d be the one to do it!


    ¡°Mari!¡± The cry, although muffled by all the walls between us, was enough to break through my fear.


    ¡°Lea?¡± I murmured in disbelief, immediately recognizing his child-like voice, and a smile of contentment touched my lips.


    Over the last few days, how many times had I heard his voice or the sound of his bell echoing in the house? How many times had I run downstairs searching for him only to come back up alone? Over time I¡¯d learned to ignore my desperate illusions and, now that everything was about to end, being able to hear him again made me smile. I didn¡¯t feel alone anymore and the idea of dying didn¡¯t seem as frightening as before.


    ¡°Mari!¡± The urgency and despair in his voice made my heart jump and my eyes shot towards the door. What if ... what if Lea had really returned? What if he was in danger from that other Deiwos whose chaotic presence still filled the air?


    And then I was immediately on the move. Who cared if it was another illusion? Who cared if I was now running towards my death? Nothing like that mattered at all if there was a possibility, even as small as I knew it was, that Lea was really there and that he¡¯d be in danger!


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called back, stumbling down the stairs, trying to see where I was going since I hadn¡¯t even taken the time to turn on the light.


    ¡°Mari! Help me, please!¡± I¡¯d never heard such despair in his voice and my heart responded immediately to his pain.


    I stopped by the living room door, urgently feeling the wall in search of the light switch, and I just couldn¡¯t give another step. The room swirled and danced around me, the walls dangerously closing in as I forgot to breathe. My hands urgently grabbed the door frame, knowing what to do better than I did, making sure I wouldn¡¯t fall or faint, or throw up. I gasped for air, trying as hard as I could to keep standing on my two shaking legs.


    Lea had returned, yes, but he wasn¡¯t alone. And there was blood everywhere, blood so red that it seemed to glow under the yellowish light above our heads.


    Gabriel was lying on the coach, the same one where I recalled seeing him sleep. But now, his perfect face was far from peaceful, writhing in a terrifying expression of pain, his immaculate white skin stained with red, making him look like he was already dead.


    ¡°Oh my God!¡± I gasped, my fingers hurting from the strength with which I squeezed the wood under my palms, and I urgently tried to ascertain just how badly he¡¯d been hurt. My stomach quivered when all my eyes could see was a torn black shirt, now completely drenched, and more blood, blood dripping unstopping on the ground, forming a bright red poodle.


    ¡°Mari!¡± Lea left his side at the sound of my voice and ran to me. ¡°Please! Please help him! Please! You have to save my Master!¡± he begged in one breath, tugging desperately at my pants, his small bloodied hands leaving palm prints on the yellow cotton. But what really got my attention were the tears streaming down his childish face. Tears as bright as silver, which left luminous trails over his skin as his eyes grew darker by the second, almost as if they were melting away. ¡°He¡¯s not getting better. I wanted to bring him, but he wouldn¡¯t let me. And told me he¡¯d be fine. But he isn¡¯t! He¡¯s not getting fine at all. The blood won¡¯t stop! And I don¡¯t understand why. He¡¯s so strong. I don¡¯t know what to do! I don¡¯t know what to do! I don¡¯t want him to disappear!¡± he went on without taking a single breath, the tears falling from his eyes one after another, and I commanded my hands to release my only support, so that I could kneel in front of him and hold him by his small shaking shoulders. His tears were impossible to bear, but, above all, were very dangerous. I still remembered all too well what Gabriel had told me about his silver eyes.


    ¡°Stop crying, Lea.¡± I commanded, my voice trembling, but he didn¡¯t even hear me,


    ¡°You have to help him! Like you helped me! No one else can do it! Please!¡±Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Stop!¡± I insisted, raising my voice as I shook him. ¡°Suileabhan!¡± His sobs were immediately silenced and he stared at me, his expression too serious, even cold, as if I¡¯d just hit him. It was the first time I called his real name and I felt it immediately; the weight of the word on my lips and the power it held over him. I took a deep breath, trying to sort through all that as quickly as possible, and put a smile on my face to reassure him. ¡°I understand. But if you lose control, you won¡¯t be able to help him, right?¡± I told him in the softest way I could manage, taking the situation into account. ¡°Despairing like that won¡¯t lead us anywhere. We have to remain calm.¡±


    I wondered immediately how I¡¯d been able to say something like that because, in that precise moment, I was anything but calm. But Lea nodded, as if he¡¯d completely absorbed every single word that had fell from my mouth and, with a few more sobs, dried his tears away.


    ¡°If he disappears I ...¡±


    I placed a hand on his head, interrupting his dark thoughts, and looked at Gabriel, still lying on that couch. It looked like he was delirious and Lea was right, the blood kept trickling over his pale skin, the pool on the ground slowly growing. The threads around my heart, which I¡¯d all but forgotten, cut deep this time.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never done anything like this,¡± I muttered to myself and stood up to take a closer look. Now I could easily understand that the chaotic presence I¡¯d felt was actually emanating from him and not some other Dewios. Gabriel was suffering.


    I stopped beside him and the room wobbled again. So much blood ... I couldn¡¯t see anything beside all that blood.


    Lea went back to his side, his cheeks still glowing from the tears he¡¯d shed, and gently brushed back a long strand of Gabriel''s hair that had stuck to his distorted face. From time to time, strange and unintelligent words would leave his lips and his forehead was moist with small droplets of sweat.


    Suddenly, it occurred to me that he¡¯d never looked as real as he did now. In that moment all I could see was him, not the mythic magical creature, but just another living being, different from me but definitely alive.


    Lea¡¯s restrained sobs brought me back to reality and I knelt on the floor beside the couch, rolling up my sleeves.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Lea. Think you can help me?¡± I asked and he nodded urgently. His eyes had lost its silvery color and were almost black, and something inside me told me it was best to keep him busy. ¡°Think you can get me what I need? Even from far away?¡±


    ¡°I can see in your mind if you think about the place where those things are. After that, I can bring them here if you want,¡± he explained, his voice drowning in anguish, and I nodded, immediately forming the images in my mind.


    The next thing I knew there were two bottles of distilled water, a role of sterilized gauze, a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a bag of cotton pads right beside me.


    The truth was I hadn¡¯t the slightest idea of what I was doing. My mind still felt half numb, part of me doubting that what I saw now was actually real. After all, not a few minutes ago, my world had been filled with shadows and misty landscapes. Certainly things couldn¡¯t change that abruptly in such a small amount of time.


    Still unsure, I decided to forget all my doubts and focus on the task at hand. I could easily see by the quantity of blood he¡¯d already lost that his injury wasn¡¯t something that could be cared for at home, much less by someone as inexperienced as me. It was far from being some small scratch that needed some disinfecting and a patching up. And yet, I had to do something.


    I started by getting rid of his blood-drenched shirt. As soon as the thought of a pair of scissors crossed my mind, it appeared next to the gauze. I didn¡¯t question it, nor allowed myself the time to be impressed, and, picking it up, started carefully cutting his clothes, uncovering more of his bloodied skin. I grabbed one of the water bottles and slowly poured it over his naked chest. Crimson water washed over him, soaking the couch and dripping on the floor, slowly making clear just how serious his injury was. I didn¡¯t even have to complete the process to know exactly where the cut started and how far it crossed over his chest. I, myself, had felt its burning pain time and time again. But still, dreaming about it and seeing it in real life were two completely different things. And I couldn¡¯t help noticing that the zone where I¡¯d kissed him, sealing our Contract, had also been cut, and that nothing was left from his mark besides that deep, raw gash on his white skin.


    As soon as I stopped pouring water, the blood covered everything again, and I felt despair take over when I had to wash him again.


    ¡°This wound, it¡¯s too deep ... I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± I muttered, carefully drying his skin, and Lea looked at me in a panic.


    ¡°Why? You did it to me!¡± he demanded.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that simple, Lea. Even with you I didn¡¯t know what I was doing. I thought for sure you had to get stitches. And it wasn¡¯t me who saved your life, but your ability to heal faster than anything I¡¯d ever seen. Doesn¡¯t he have the same ability as you?¡±


    ¡°He should have, faster even, but it¡¯s not working!¡± he sobbed.


    ¡°We have to stop the bleeding,¡± I said and Lea made a surgical needle and thread appear out of nowhere. ¡°No! No way! I can¡¯t do that!¡± I refused immediately. I could hardly look at that terrible gash and my hands wouldn¡¯t stop shaking.


    ¡°Mari!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d probably only make things worse! Maybe we can take him to a hospital and ...¡±


    Gabriel¡¯s restlessness interrupted me and Lea held his face between his small hands, delicately unsticking a few more strands of hair from his deadly pale face. My eyes were lost in his pained expression, in the way his discolored lips trembled. Who was I kidding? How could I take him to a hospital? His agitation made his wound bleed even more. What if he really died? What if he really disappeared forever? Not now, my other voice countered immediately. Not now that he¡¯d just returned! How could I watch him leave again?


    ¡°I¡¯ll do my best, Lea. I¡¯m really sorry.¡±


    He didn¡¯t answer and I caught hold of the rubbing alcohol, opening it. I didn¡¯t know what else to do, if what I was doing was right or wrong. If that terrible gash needed disinfecting, or even if his body could suffer from an infection. I ordered myself to stop questioning my every single action and to do what I had just decided ¡ª my best! There was nothing else I could do.


    As soon as I spilled a drop of alcohol over his skin a scream of pain left his lips, ringing in my ears, leaving me deaf. I hit against something that stole the breath out of my chest and pain shot through my ribs. I fought to breathe again, coughing violently, and had to press my right side to be able to do it. I could hear Lea¡¯s voice coming from far away and tried to reassure him, afraid he might start crying again. When I finally opened my eyes, I couldn¡¯t help feeling perplexed since I had no memory of how I¡¯d gotten where I now sat, against the wall right across the couch, as if I¡¯d been thrown against it by a massive strength.


    ¡°Mari! Are you all right?!¡± he asked once again, his voice tense with fear and despair as he held Gabriel¡¯s tussling body down, trying to stop him from moving too much which only made him bleed even more.


    It was hard to drag myself away from the wall, my ribs cringing in pain every time I moved, but still I managed to crawl on my knees and return to my place beside him.


    He seemed calmer now, but his white skin was covered in blood again.


    ¡°Lea,¡± I tried and coughed again, which sent waves of pain through my chest, making me press my right side to take a deep breath. ¡°Can you put him to sleep?¡±


    ¡°Put Master to sleep?¡± he repeated, almost afraid, and I nodded. ¡°Master does not allow me to use my powers on him.¡±


    ¡°Do it!¡± I simply commanded. ¡°If you don¡¯t he¡¯ll end up killing me before I can even finish.¡±


    Lea sighed and placed both his hands over his forehead, closing his eyes to concentrate. His young face distorted into a grimace of pain, as if he were fighting against some invisible foe, and his forehead was rapidly covered with small, shiny droplets of sweat. Even so, Gabriel¡¯s agitation started to dwindle until he seemed to finally have fallen asleep, his perfect face released from that frightening expression of pain. Lea fell back, sitting on the floor, his breath heavy and labored.


    ¡°This was really hard. Master''s mind is very well protected,¡± he complained in between gasps, and I cleaned his wound once again so that I¡¯d be able to, at least, see what I was doing. The lack of reaction from his now unmoving body told me that even if it had been difficult, it had worked, and he was deep asleep. Threading the needle was the hardest, my hands shaking nonstop, and I prayed he¡¯d remain a sleep for a long time.


    My stomach cringed the instant I gave the first stitch, but I made myself go on, trying to eliminate from my mind the idea that I was stitching someone else¡¯s body, focusing only on uniting his pale, now purplish skin over that bright red gash. I allowed my mind to lose itself in that repetitive rhythm and erased all other thoughts, certain that they¡¯d only make me even more nervous.


    When I finally finished, I too was sweating, tension making my body stiffen to the point my muscles had started to ache. I managed to grab the bag of gauze and covered his long, dark suture with the soft white pads. I held them in place using the rolls of bandages Lea had provided for me, wrapping them as best as I could around his torso while trying to keep him as still as possible. At least the bleeding had stopped, I thought, my hands still shaking. But now that he was just lying there, motionless, his face so pale that his skin almost seemed transparent, it was even harder to believe he was alive.


    Lea produced a small cloth and drenched it in water to delicately clean his face and neck, his pained expression as he did so making me even sadder.


    I felt exhausted now that I¡¯d done all that I could and the adrenaline started to wash away from my system. I didn¡¯t even bother with cleaning or putting anything back to its place. I just sat there, beside him, watching intently the small, ever so slow movements of his naked chest that guaranteed me that he was still breathing and, without even noticing it, ended up falling asleep.


    * If you want to    know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit    the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 20 - Part 2

    ¡°Izrail!!¡± I had the impression that that wasn¡¯t the first time I heard someone call that name and the chaos to which my consciousness returned left me dizzy.


    Lea was shouting ferociously and, although he kept his childish appearance, the strength emanating from him was truly frightening. I blinked again, trying to make my muddled thoughts clear enough to understand what was going on, and was finally able to identify the target of his fury.


    ¡°I need him to wake up! Now!¡± the same thundering voice that woke me demanded and I grabbed hold of the couch to help me stand up.


    ¡°Alexander,¡± I mumbled and his disconcerting expression of despair turned to me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t make me repeat myself, I will not allow you to step one inch closer to him!¡± Lea was saying, his voice sounding more like a roar, the air around him becoming heavy with murderous intent, and I stumbled to his side, wishing everyone could calm down.


    ¡°What happened?¡± I asked and Alexander¡¯s red gaze turned towards Lea again, hatred distorting his beautiful face.


    ¡°I need him to wake up! And I need him to wake Jonathan up! And that¡¯s what¡¯s going to happen! Even if it¡¯s the last thing I do!¡± he replied, equally furiously, and Lea flexed his legs, leaning forward ever so slightly, almost as if he were ready to jump him any time.


    ¡°It will be the last thing you do!¡± Lea confirmed, his voice now cold and hard, so similar to Gabriel¡¯s that it sent a shiver down my spine.


    ¡°He can¡¯t help you!¡± I urgently added, stepping in between the two of them, facing Alexander. ¡°But I can. Tell me what happened. Where is he?¡±


    His blood-red stare didn¡¯t seem to recognize me, frighteningly cold, and then his hand was around my wrist, squeezing it with too much strength while he dragged me towards the kitchen.


    Pain shot through my ribs as I stumbled forward and down the corridor, making me gasp and cringe my teeth to muffle a scream.


    ¡°Let go of her! You¡¯re hurting her!¡± Lea demanded, following us, but the hand holding mine didn¡¯t obey.


    ¡°Help him!¡± Alexander rudely ordered, throwing me forward as if I were an inanimate object, and I almost hit the table where a young boy was lying.


    ¡°Leave her be!¡± Lea was growling again, and I pressed my right side to stand up straight.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± I murmured, hopping he could hear me, and tried to draw a deep breath, which made me cringe in pain. Alexander¡¯s face was a frightening mask of fury. ¡°Alexander ...¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s Human like you! Make him better!¡± he demanded and, as irrational as his demand was, I nodded, not wanting to oppose him.


    I turned to Jonathan, massaging my wrist in order to restore blood circulation to my fingers, and watched him closely. Unlike Gabriel he didn¡¯t seem to be hurt, not physically anyway. But, as soon as I touched his forehead, I knew immediately something was very wrong.


    ¡±He¡¯s burning up!¡± I observed urgently. ¡°We have to lower his temperature. I¡¯m going to fill the bathtub with water. Take off his clothes and bring him upstairs!¡± I commanded and Alexander nodded immediately, obeying without a question.


    I rushed out of the kitchen, but had to slow down as I climbed up the stairs. Every breath I took was extremely painful.


    I closed the drain and turned the water on, not too cold, but not hot either.


    A few minutes later Alexander was at the door. The fury that just moments ago had terrified me was gone from his face as he looked at Jonathan with a pained expression. I stepped out of his way and he slowly lowered him into the water. My eyes were inevitably lost on that naked body, too thin for his height. However, what caught my attention were the numerous red lines crisscrossing over his skin, covering his chest, arms and legs with disordered patterns. Some of those lines, the more faded ones, were cut by thin pale scars. And there were so many scars!, I noticed feeling sick, even more scars than red lines, some of them looking very old, almost faded, but not quite, indicating he¡¯d withstood years and years of torture.


    Alexander gave me an angry look, as if I¡¯d just seen something I wasn¡¯t supposed to, and I hurriedly averted my gaze.


    ¡°Leave him there until his temperature drops. Then take him out and dry him. You can take him to the room down the hall,¡± I said, indicating Rachel¡¯s room. ¡°I¡¯ll be outside. Call me.¡± I left, closing the door.


    I went back downstairs, leaning hard against the handrail, and took a peek into the living room. With a sigh of relief I noticed Gabriel was still asleep and that Lea had returned to his side, attentively keeping watch over him.


    His face was still too pale, black circles surrounding his eyes, his long hair pasty and sticky from all the blood, and still he was beautiful, the most beautiful thing I¡¯d ever seen, too perfect by any Human standards.


    The pain I¡¯d been unable to feel since he''d left caught me by surprise, as the invisible threads around my heart kept squeezing it, cutting deeper and deeper, stealing my breath away. He was really there, I told myself, still not quite believing it. Maybe I¡¯d end up waking up in my bed, like every other night, all that I¡¯d dreamed up till then erased from my mind. Maybe this alert-me, this feeling-me, was the me from the dream, and everything would be gone once I opened my eyes. But even worse, even more frightening, was if it was all real! If he was really there, lying on my couch. And if he didn¡¯t wake up again ...


    I went back to the kitchen, thinking that Alexander would be calling me soon. I filled a basin with cool water and grabbed a soft, clean towel. I also grabbed of a box of painkillers my mom always kept around in one of the cupboards, too lazy to go upstairs to get a pill every time she had a headache from working all through the night. I filled a glass of water and balanced everything on a tray, climbing the stairs as slowly as I could, my ribs complaining from the effort of carrying all that weight.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    Alexander had already moved Jonathan to Rachel¡¯s room, lying him down on the huge bed, carefully covering his marred body. Jonathan seemed calm now, and I placed the basin and the glass on the bedside table to feel his forehead again. Alexander¡¯s intent, almost threatening gaze followed my every move, seeming ready to strike me down at any moment, the minute I did something wrong.


    ¡°Better,¡± I noted. ¡°Although still too high. I don¡¯t know what caused this or what¡¯s wrong with him exactly, but if it is as you say, and he¡¯s Human like me ...¡± I left it hanging and produced the box of pills, handing it to him. ¡°This is what we take when we have a fever. Don¡¯t know if it will work. You can¡¯t give him more than two. So give him one now and, if his fever doesn¡¯t go down, give him another one in about half an hour,¡± I explained as he turned the box in his hands, analyzing it carefully. ¡°Also, use this to help lower his temperature.¡± I pulled the towel I¡¯d perched on my shoulder and dipped it into the basin. ¡°Just wet it, then twist it and keep it on his forehead.¡± I showed him how to do it and, as soon as the cool towel touched Jonathan¡¯s burning skin, his expression became even more relaxed, almost relieved. ¡°When it starts getting warmer, just wet it again.¡± He nodded, now completely focused on absorbing my every single word, and I pressed my right side to stand up once again. ¡°I¡¯m going downstairs to check on Gabriel. Be back in a minute. If anything happens, just call me, okay?¡±


    He nodded again, his trembling fingers softly brushing against Jonathan¡¯s face, his pained expression making me look away. I silently walked to the door, somehow feeling I was intruding, and opened it carefully so it wouldn¡¯t creak.


    ¡°Mari.¡± His voice stopped me halfway and I looked back over my shoulder. His curved back and desolated expression reminded me of someone who¡¯d been mortally injured. ¡°Thank you, and I¡¯m sorry. Before ... I wasn¡¯t really thinking straight. I never meant to hurt you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I told him, stretching my lips into what I hoped was a convincing smile. ¡°Just let him rest. And call me if you need me.¡± I left the room, closing the door behind me, leaning against it for a second, almost too tired to keep standing. Still, I took a deep breath and went for the stairs planning to return to Lea¡¯s side.


    Three steps were all I could manage before the world around me started swirling. Afraid I¡¯d end up falling, I sat down at the top of the stairs, lying my head on my knees, waiting for the dizziness to fade.


    My mind was completely blank, too numb for any kind of coherent thought, and yet a revolution of emotions filled my chest, things I¡¯d even forgotten I could feel. What would become of me once the numbness cleared away and I¡¯d have to deal with all those raging feelings?


    The image of all that blood wouldn¡¯t leave my mind, as if imprinted in fire on the inside of my eyelids. As hard as I tried to avoid it, I couldn¡¯t stop seeing the pain so vividly expressed on his face, or hearing the rough sound of his delirious voice, or remembering the electric touch of his skin every time my hand had unintentionally brushed against him.


    If only I could lessen his pain.


    I ended up falling asleep, but even in my dreams all I could see was a red sea that wouldn¡¯t stop spreading, covering the floor, threatening to engulf me completely. His screams echoed in the air around me, filled with pain and despair, making me look around, search for him, the urgency making my heart beat faster. I just couldn¡¯t allow it to go on, couldn¡¯t allow him to keep suffering like that. Unbeknown to myself his pain was my pain as well and I just couldn¡¯t bear another second of that torture. My searching gaze fell upon a child sitting amid that red sea, and I instinctively knew that it was him.


    Tears fell down his cheeks and he kept screaming, his eyes shut closed in a permanent denial of the world around him. His small, white hands were smeared with blood, and I knew without a doubt that, for a change, that blood wasn¡¯t his. And yet he wouldn¡¯t stop screaming, breath after breath, as if he¡¯d been mortally injured.


    I tried to get closer. All I wanted was to comfort him, even if only a bit, make him stop that agonizing cry. But as much as I walked, or ran, the sea of blood that now covered my knees wouldn¡¯t allow me to advance. Sticky and heavy it kept pulling me back, making it almost impossible to move my legs.


    ¡°Izrail,¡± I blinked in surprise as tears rolled down my cheeks. It was the first time that I could recall that they had obeyed my feelings. ¡°Izrail!¡±


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His hoarse murmur made me jump and I almost screamed when I saw him standing right there, in front of me. It took me a few moments to gather that I¡¯d been dreaming and that he was real. The wave of pain that washed over me made me tremble. Panicking, my eyes were drawn to the red bandages across his bare chest as they quickly absorbed his blood. His breathing was heavy and labored, new drops of sweat shining on his forehead. His long white hands shook uncontrollably as they held on fast to the handrail, his violet eyes glowing feverishly.


    ¡°Oh my God! What are you doing standing up like this!¡± I scolded him, unthinkingly, trying to keep my breathing under control. Just like before, my heart was beating like crazy, leaving me deaf, my body too tense and frozen in place.


    A wince of pain contorted his face, making him take a sharp breath, and his trembling arms buckled, making him stumble forward. His white fingers flexed around the handrail even harder, the wood cracking beneath his inhuman strength. A groan of pain escaped his lips, making him lean forth too abruptly, his hair tumbling forward like a dark, silky cascade. I watched as his legs trembled, giving in under his weight, and my heart almost stopped when I saw him fall head-on. And then my body was on the move, although I¡¯d been frozen stiff just instants ago, and I was under him, trying to break his fall.


    The direct contact with his skin left me breathless and the arm that reflexively wrapped itself around my waist in search of some support erased all logical thoughts from my mind. His hair brushed my face, soft and cold, and I could feel his warm panting breathing on my shoulder, even through my pajama top. His whole body shook violently and his dead weight was more than I could support, especially with my shaking legs. He groaned again as I fell back, the impact making his muscles stiffen with pain, and his head slid inert over my chest, falling on my legs. Instinctively I leaned over him, trying to hold him in a half-embrace, fearing that he might keep sliding all the way down the stairs, even though he was obviously too heavy for me to hold. My panicking eyes fell on his back, the way his muscles contracted with every single forced breath, and I was frozen again, too terrified to even run.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± His muffled voice silenced everything else, almost as if I¡¯d just plunged into deep waters. I thought he¡¯d lost consciousness. His black hair covered my legs, shadowing his face, but not enough to hide his pained expression. ¡°Don¡¯t cry ... just for a moment ... let me stay like ... this.¡±


    My heart hurt at his request and my lungs burned when I was finally able to breathe again. I wished I could comfort him, maybe embrace him, the same way I¡¯d wished I could hold that child in my dream. But, just like in the dream, I couldn¡¯t move.


    The scent that emanated from his hair was sweet and the arm around my waist kept holding on to me, as if he were afraid I might simply disappear.


    I did cry, and sobbed like a child until my throat hurt. And yet, in all my pain, I didn¡¯t shed a single tear.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 21 - Part 1

    Chapter 21


    ZAX


    ¨C The Abyss. Choronzon, his Nature.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°The net of threads that surrounds me and tortures my skin has long ago become my home, my only shelter.


    I smile at the pain it brings me and, the same way others need light and water, I can¡¯t live without it.


    There were times when I bitterly cried because of this prison.


    Now, after all this time, I no longer know how to survive without its torturous embrace ...¡±


    I woke up startled by a scream that left me sitting up again on my bed.


    I felt immediately lost and realized I was back in my room. The light poured in from the half-opened blinds, telling me that it was daytime outside.


    The scream echoed again and I slid out of bed, forgetting for a moment that fast and rash movements would only bring me pain. I winced as my ribs ached, pressing my right side, and left the room trying to walk as fast as I could without running.


    As I passed by the stairs I noticed I really didn¡¯t have the slightest idea of how I¡¯d gotten to my room. The last thing I recalled was sitting there, desperately trying to hold on to Gabriel¡¯s slipping body; the soft weight of his head resting on my lap. Obviously, I also remembered how his presence had disturbed me, as always, but I was proud of myself for finally having been able to get close enough to touch him.


    However, I didn¡¯t have time to ponder about that much longer, and I rushed as fast as I could to my mother¡¯s bedroom.


    ¡°Jonathan!¡± I called out, knowing it had been his voice I¡¯d heard, and I ran to hold him when I saw him sitting on the bed, wide-eyed in a pure state of panic. ¡°It¡¯s fine! Everything¡¯s fine! You¡¯re safe!¡± I assured him, wrapping my arms around his shaking body, and he pushed me away, screaming at me, forcing me to make use of all my strength just to hold on to him. ¡°You¡¯re okay. You¡¯re okay now! It¡¯s over! It was all a nightmare!¡± I insisted, trying to make myself heard above his screams and, suddenly, his whole body went limp, his shouting ending as if he¡¯d spent all his energy and couldn¡¯t even speak. ¡°You¡¯re okay,¡± I reassured him, caressing his hair, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his marred bare chest.


    Although younger than me, Jonathan was taller and his thin arms immobilized me without effort, making me uncomfortable. I felt too small, too frail in his arms, as if I were no more than a doll that he¡¯d decided to hold onto to keep his fears at bay.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine now,¡± I repeated, showing intentions to pull back, but his strength didn¡¯t diminish, keeping me prisoner. ¡°Jona ...¡±


    ¡°You have to help me!¡± His harsh, urgent murmur right next to my ear interrupted my scolding, leaving me apprehensive.


    ¡°Help?¡±


    ¡°To get out of here! Please, I need to get out of here!¡± he repeated and the despair in his voice left me silent for a moment. From the few times I¡¯d seen him, he always seemed empty of any desires or emotions, almost as if he¡¯d been perpetually hypnotized. And yet, the intensity of his voice was far from belonging to the inanimate person he''d been, and I couldn¡¯t help wonder what had happened to leave him in that state.


    ¡°Leave here? Where to?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care! Far, far away from him!¡±


    ¡°Him? Alexander?¡± I guessed after a few moments of hesitation and his arms squeezed me even harder, hurting my already hurt ribs.


    ¡°Please, you have to help me!¡± he begged once again. Sure enough I had no idea of what was going on, but I could easily identify myself with the deep fear vibrating from his every word.


    I wanted to know what had brought on that wave of terror but, agitated as he was, I was sure I wouldn''t be able to make him talk about it. And so I decided the first thing to do was to try and calm him down, and that implied taking him out of that house.


    ¡°I¡¯ll help!¡± I told him and his arms relaxed enough to allow me to look at him. ¡°I¡¯ll help you, Jonathan.¡± His expression came alight with hope and I couldn¡¯t help smile at the purity of his eyes. ¡°But first we have to get you something to wear.¡± I jumped to my feet, my practical side taking the lead.


    It wasn''t long before we managed to leave the house, his giant hurried stride forcing me run from time to time to keep up with him.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡± I inquired and he shrugged. ¡°Just stop for a minute and think about it! You probably won¡¯t be able to cross the barrier without them noticing,¡± I reminded him.


    ¡°I have no other choice. I have to try,¡± he replied without even turning to look at me, his expression grave and intent as he marched down the street, my mom¡¯s old tracksuit he now wore too short for him.


    ¡°What happened after you were gone? Where did you go?¡± I had so many questions. Above all I needed to know why he¡¯d left without a word. Jonathan¡¯s expression became even tenser and his voice cut the air in a murmur.


    ¡°We followed two Deiwos that had crossed the barrier unnoticed.¡±


    ¡°And did you catch them?¡±


    ¡°Only one. They were too strong. Mari, you should take the chance and run away too!¡± he suddenly told me, facing me with a serious expression.


    ¡°I can¡¯t. The Contract binds us together. If I break it, really bad things will happen.¡±


    ¡°Bad things,¡± he repeated sarcastically. ¡°You don¡¯t even know what you¡¯re talking about. At least Izrail is a Deiwos, a Shedim. I¡¯m sure you see his indifference towards all Human Beings as proof that he is dangerous. And you¡¯re right. But believe me when I tell you, there are much worse things out there. I heard that your Guardian is asleep? Then just take this chance and run far, far away. Don¡¯t wait around for him to wake up.¡± I grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him back, making him stop for a moment so I could recover my lost breath.


    ¡°You and I ... we¡¯re the same, right?¡± I asked and Jonathan turned away as if that simple question had been enough to hurt him deeply.


    ¡°Yes, or at least we were ... Gaalgha, as the Merifri call us, the Spirits of the Creator. But I¡¯ve stopped being one a long time ago, the moment my life stopped following the normal cycle that all Human Beings follow.¡± He resumed his march down the road, although his pace had lost part of its initial urgency, making it easier for me to keep up.


    ¡°But Alexander told me you are Human, like me,¡± I argued, hesitating before saying his name, and Jonathan took a deep breath as if that could help dilute the bitterness marking his face.


    ¡°Human ... maybe. I don¡¯t know. You tell me. Do you know of any other Human who has lived for one hundred years looking like a fourteen-year-old kid?¡±


    I stared at him wordlessly. Of all the things Alexander had told me I¡¯d never taken the factor time into account. But it was logical, right? If all he¡¯d told me had taken place before that war. But if that was how it was, how was it possible that Jonathan was still alive?


    ¡°Then how ...?¡± I began to ask.


    ¡°He was my Guardian, and I trusted him unconditionally. Which Human Being wouldn¡¯t trust an angel sent from Heaven to protect him? He explained to me what I was and why he was sent to stay by my side. We were always together, even though others couldn¡¯t see him.¡± His voice was almost soft as he recalled his past, but then his expression became hard and angry. ¡°In the end they¡¯re all the same, Deiwos and Merifri, all alike, all selfish, prepotent bastards! With the difference that at least you know what to expect from a Deiwos. Merifri are false. With their pure and angelic looks, white wings and all, they gain our trust just to betray us later on!¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? What happened?¡±


    Jonathan hesitated for a moment and, when he spoke again his voice was no more than a cold, hollow whisper, the kind of voice I expected to hear from the empty indifferent boy he had appeared to be.


    ¡°Love is forbidden to all Merifri,¡± he explained. ¡°And yet they all know that there is no Guardian who doesn¡¯t end up loving the Gaalgha he is sent to protect. Alexander told me all about this and, at the time, I even felt sorry for his pain. Loving, knowing that it¡¯s a condemned love, that there¡¯s nothing anyone can do, because Gaalgha are Human Beings that will soon leave this plane of existence towards another more evolved one. Believing all that I never even dreamed he¡¯d do what he did. You saw the red marks on my body, didn¡¯t you?¡± I nodded and he took a hand to his chest as if he could feel the intricate crimson pattern under his clothes. ¡°These are the marks of my curse. In his selfishness he wouldn¡¯t allow me to follow my path. This curse not only keeps me a prisoner of this life, it also binds me to him.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to say.


    ¡°What about ... the scars?¡± I asked, dreading his answer, and his bitter smile made me shiver.


    ¡°The red lines are constantly growing and expanding. If they¡¯re not cut from time to time, they¡¯ll end up tearing my body to shreds.¡±


    ¡°Is that why he fell? That he became a Deiwos?¡± I wondered and Jonathan nodded.


    ¡°My life is suspended. And since this war began and I became his Medium ¡­ I just can¡¯t take it anymore! I¡¯d rather die! But even that, he won¡¯t allow it.¡± His arms wrapped around his own chest as he bent forward. Pain distorted his face and he staggered, almost falling.


    ¡°Jonathan!¡± I immediately placed his arm over my shoulders, trying to keep him from falling, and he gasped for air. ¡°What¡¯s wrong! Talk to me!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t ... let him ... take me.¡±


    As soon as the words left his lips, a soft shower of black feathers surrounded us. I raised my head, still trying to support his weight and, as expected, Alexander was right there in front of me. His dark-red eyes were immediately on Jonathan and his expression was one of pity, and helplessness, and pain, and, above all, the expression of a guilty person.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    In a fit of despair Jonathan tried to escape him, catching me off guard, his sudden movements making it impossible for me to keep holding him. I saw him fall, his body folded over itself as he writhed in pain, biting his lower lip so he wouldn¡¯t scream as well. From the corner of my eye I saw Alexander take a step forward and I was instantly in his way, making sure he wouldn¡¯t reach the boy behind me.


    ¡°Mari.¡±


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to go back with you!¡± I declared vehemently. In my mind, that was the only thing I was a hundred-percent sure of and that I could clearly understand. How many times had I wished and hoped in vain that I¡¯d be able to escape as well? And, if what Jonathan had told me was really true, I certainly wasn''t about to allow him to keep torturing him like this any further.


    ¡°Mari! He needs help!¡± Alexander pointed out, his anxious gaze locked on Jonathan, but I stood my ground, unwavering.


    ¡°Tell me what to do then!¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no time for that! Let me through!¡± he commanded, trying to go around me, and I gave a step to the side, placing myself in his way once more.


    ¡°No!¡±


    Before my astounded eyes his worried, almost frightened expression changed immediately to that icy cold mask that seemed unable to see me, sending a cold feeling throughout my entire body. I swallowed hard, aware that was the exact same expression he¡¯d had on his face when he¡¯d dragged me towards the kitchen, and fought my own instinct that kept insisting that I¡¯d get out of his way. The air around us became heavier and colder, his hands curling into two tight fists.


    ¡°Let me through,¡± he ordered once again, his voice dropping to a murmur that sounded more like a threat, and I grounded my feet where I stood, facing him with equal intent.


    I knew he wasn¡¯t joking, that that Alexander was far from being the friendly, carefree creature who¡¯d told me about Gabriel and their world. But, even so, I just couldn¡¯t let him take Jonathan away. Not after he¡¯d pleaded with me like that! I didn¡¯t want to betray his trust. And yet, his muffled moans were starting to frighten me, even more than Alexander¡¯s implicit threat.


    ¡°Jonathan does not want to go with you,¡± I spelled it out for him and cringed when he lunged towards me, his red eyes burning with anger.


    ¡°Sigweardiel.¡± That voice in its velvet murmured tone was all it took to freeze him in place, and to make me shiver from head to toe. I watched as he walked up to us, each step more gracious than the other, until he slowly placed a hand on Alexander¡¯s shoulder, making him tense up immediately. ¡°Do not forget who is standing in front of you,¡± he whispered almost in his hear and his purple gaze turned towards me. ¡°Mariane.¡± My heart jumped into a mad race. His pale, obviously tired face looked even more unworldly under the light of the day. ¡°If you won¡¯t let him through, that boy will die soon.¡±


    The cold, indifferent tone of his voice shocked me more than his words.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to go!¡± I insisted and, contrary to what I''d expected, he didn¡¯t get angry at my stubbornness.


    ¡°I see. I guess you should know that not all that he told you is true. But, whether you believe me or not, the question is rather simple. Are you going to let him die?¡±


    Indecision made my stomach hurt as I looked at Jonathan over my shoulder. His forehead was drenched in sweat, his face mortally pale. He kept hugging himself as if to keep his own body together, his knees pulled against his chest, his hands clenched so hard that his knuckles had turned white. A thin line of blood was dripping from his mouth, from the lip he kept biting into, and his body kept twitching, and writhing in pain.


    I lowered my head in defeat. He was right. Even though he¡¯d told me he¡¯d rather die, I could never, knowingly, be all right with that. With that established there was nothing else I could do for him. Frustrated with myself I stepped aside. Alexander didn¡¯t even hesitate, rushing by me to pick him up in a gentle embrace, before disappearing.


    I stood there, staring blankly at the place where they¡¯d just been, watching as the dark feathers slowly floated down.


    ¡°I¡¯m really useless.¡±


    ¡°I could easily disagree.¡±


    I raised my head to face him. I¡¯d completely forgotten about his keen sense of hearing. And, although I was sure I should be mad at him for his sudden interference, the truth was that waves of pure happiness were flooding my brain. Because he was here! He hadn¡¯t simply disappeared. And I hadn¡¯t dreamed last night. However, I was still far from being willing to admit to any of that, and so I looked away and folded my arms frowning.


    ¡°Why did you interfere?¡± I asked.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know Alexander when the matter is Jonathan. He wasn¡¯t joking,¡± he replied turning to return home and I followed his steps, keeping a safe distance that would allow me to keep control over my own body.


    ¡°Even so! I could easily have dealt with it!¡±


    ¡°He would¡¯ve killed you in heartbeat, before allowing that boy to die.¡±


    I stood silent for a moment, swallowing hard. As much as I wanted to contradict him, I knew that was the honest truth. I¡¯d seen it too, in that cold depersonalized expression.


    ¡°If Jonathan is so important to him, how can he make him suffer like that?¡± I demanded and he sighed, slowing down his pace.


    ¡°You probably won¡¯t believe me even if I tell you,¡± he muttered, as if thinking out loud, but still kept going. ¡°I suppose that boy told you that Alexander is to blame for the situation he¡¯s in? It¡¯s to be expected, since he doesn¡¯t know any better. But the real story is very different from what he thinks is real.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? I saw the marks on his body! And how much he fears Alexander. Just now, it was that curse that was making him suffer like that!¡±


    ¡°I never said Jonathan wasn¡¯t cursed. The red lines all over his body are proof of that. However, the boy thinks that Alexander was the one who placed the curse on him.¡±


    ¡°And he wasn¡¯t?¡± I saw him shake his head, his black hair, now short again, accompanying the movement ever so gracefully.


    For an instant I couldn¡¯t help stare at him, walking in front of me like he used to when we went to school. The elegant way he moved, his steps completely silent as if he were floating, not walking, his back straight and the way his hair caressed his neck at the back of his head. All those details ¡­ and how, unknowingly, I¡¯d missed them all!


    ¡°Sigweardiel was Jonathan¡¯s Guardian, an angel as you call them. However, Guardians can only protect Humans against Deiwos. They are not allowed to intervene or influence the lives of Humans in any way. Sigweardiel told me a lot about the Guardians¡¯ missions and the Law that binds them. Jonathan thinks his falling was a result of the curse, but he is wrong. Sigweardiel fell because he went against the Law and interfered in the life of a Human Being, saving him instead of allowing him to be destroyed.¡±


    ¡°Jonathan?¡± I guessed, unsure.


    ¡°Yes. He suspended that boy¡¯s life; how he did it I can¡¯t really tell. It¡¯s something no Deiwos can do. From what I gathered from his words, it¡¯s as if he grabbed the Human life inside Jonathan and took it away, keeping it safe. However, in order to keep his body from dying, it¡¯s required that another life should inhabit it. And so he shared his own life with the boy. And it¡¯s over that life that the curse has its effect, destroying it piece by piece. And so, from time to time, when there¡¯s little life left inside Jonathan, these crises appear and Sigweardiel has to pass a bit more of his own life into his body.¡±


    ¡°But if that¡¯s so, doesn¡¯t Alexander¡¯s life ever end?¡± I asked, confused.


    ¡°It will, eventually. Although we all have considerable long lives, at the speed he¡¯s burning through his, I¡¯m sure he will end up depleting it. But Sigweardiel hopes to break the curse before that happens. His sole objective is to return Jonathan to his Human life so that he may follow his path as it should have happened.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± I was confused, but sure he wouldn¡¯t be compromising enough to give me any further explanations. ¡°I thought dying was part of being Human. I understand it may be sad, parting ways, but doing all this just to stop him from dying? Making him go through all this pain? Only because Alexander doesn¡¯t want to see him leave? It¡¯s hardly fair!¡±


    ¡°You would be right if Jonathan¡¯s curse would only destroy his life,¡± he replied, surprising me by continuing our conversation. ¡°Had that been the case, Sigweardiel wouldn¡¯t have done what he did. However, his curse also threatens his Soul. This curse was designed to break the body and through the body break his life, and through his life break his Soul. If that curse is allowed to have its full effect, his whole being will be destroyed.¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s expected that a Guardian would allow such a thing?¡± I wanted to know, perplexed at the notion, and his sarcastic laughter filled my ears.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I asked him when he told me all this. After learning a bit more about the Merifri and their laws, I concluded we¡¯re not all that different. In fact, the only difference is that they¡¯re cruel under the pretext of doing good. We are a bit more honest than that,¡± he added a little smugly. I thought it best not to mention Jonathan had told me the same thing just a few moments ago.


    ¡°So, if it wasn¡¯t a Deiwos that cursed him, was it a Human Being?¡± He nodded, which further stunned me. ¡°How? Why?¡±


    ¡°Deiwos and Merifri aren¡¯t the only ones hungry for power. And the Soul of a Human Being like Jonathan can be put to a good use in many different ways, even by Humans.¡±


    I stood silent for a moment.


    A Human Being like Jonathan ... like me. I felt that addition implicit in his voice. After all, what other reason could had led him to spare my life if not for the mysterious power they all believed I had?


    I raised my head internally proud of myself for not feeling miserable at the recollection of my position in all that.


    ¡°If that¡¯s how it is, why doesn¡¯t he tell him the truth? Jonathan doesn¡¯t know what really happened, and judges him wrongly. He feels betrayed because he trusted Alexander. And that only makes him suffer even more.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand human¡¯s feelings all that much,¡± he admitted,slightly lowering his head. ¡°But, when I asked him that, Sigweardiel just told me that it was better if the boy were to hate him. That hatred would give him the strength to live. He seems to think the truth will only make the boy more depressed and that he¡¯d end up feeling it¡¯s not worth fighting to stay alive.¡±


    ¡°It was someone he knew,¡± I guessed, feeling sorry for him, and he stopped for a moment to stare at me over his shoulder with an intrigued expression.


    ¡°Does that matter?¡±


    ¡°A lot.¡± He seemed to ponder on that for a moment.


    ¡°It was his father.¡±


    ¡°Treason is always harder to accept when it comes from someone of our own blood,¡± I lamented. ¡°Especially so when it¡¯s someone who should have protected us.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± he admitted and resumed walking, and I felt sorry for him as well. I recalled what Alexander had told me about his childhood. Of course he couldn¡¯t understand. ¡°Anyway, this war didn¡¯t help either. Because of the situation we¡¯re in, Sigweardiel had to suspend his search for a counter-curse and dedicate himself completely to keeping the both of them alive. Even so, from all the Merifri I know, he¡¯s the only one who¡¯s managed to keep so many of his original characteristics for so long. They tend to disappear, as they keep living as Mazzikin. It¡¯s really annoying. In the end it¡¯s almost as if he¡¯s still an Iaidon, only his wings changed color.¡± I couldn¡¯t help smile because he wasn¡¯t being honest at all. The truth was he was glad Alexander kept most of his original self intact. ¡°Most Mazzikin that survive the fall are utterly cruel and selfish.¡±


    ¡°I guess that¡¯s mainly due to the fact that he was given to you, and not some other Deiwos. You helped him keep his objectives alive,¡± I said and he stopped, making me stop as well.


    I realized what I¡¯d just said, and how my words sounded as a compliment. That had hardly been my intention, I told myself, stubbornly.


    ¡°He told you that?¡± he asked in a low whisper and only then did I understand the real implications of what I¡¯d just said. Talking about those kinds of things made me remember other more sordid details I¡¯d rather forget.


    ¡°He told me a bit of how you met,¡± I answered carefully. With some satisfaction I noticed we were almost home, which would probably mean a graceful change of subject.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t help him at all,¡± he said. ¡°Helping implies giving something. And Deiwos don¡¯t give. I just didn¡¯t feel like destroying someone clearly weaker than me. You can say I spared his life on a whim. He was obviously different and I wanted to learn more about his nature and about the Merifri, whom we only normally meet in a battlefield.¡±


    I smiled again. What was that about Deiwos being honest? Not honest at all! And yet, attitudes like that only made him look surprisingly Human, proof of an immature pride, of someone who tried too hard to look like someone he was not.


    ¡°That curiosity of yours, was that also why you spared Lea?¡± I asked, unable to resist, and he stopped again, making me muffle my laughter, which I immediately disguised when he turned to face me, looking slightly annoyed.


    ¡°It would seem Sigweardiel talks too much about things that are none of his concern!¡± he grumbled and I couldn¡¯t help smile, which seemed to disturb him.


    ¡°Can I open the door?¡± I asked, pointing to the door he was blocking just by standing there, and Gabriel looked back, ending up stepping aside too quickly for the usual slow movements he always forced on himself in my presence.


    I smiled again, amused with his clear confusion, and went to open the door. However, as soon as I stepped in, the heavy oppressing air inside made me take a sharp breath. I left my coat on the hanger by the door and went straight to the stairs.


    ¡°Mari! Where are you going?¡±


    ¡°Upstairs, to check on Jonathan,¡± I answered but had to slow down once I reached the stairs, my ribs aching with all those sudden movements.


    ¡°You really shouldn¡¯t go.¡± I stopped midway and looked back. He¡¯d remained at the base of the stairs, his violet eyes slightly glowing amongst the shadows that surrounded him. ¡°It¡¯s not something you¡¯ll like to see. You probably won¡¯t be able to understand.¡±


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 21 - Part 2

    I pointedly ignored his warning and climbed up the rest of the steps. I stopped outside the door, hesitating to open it, and easily recognized Jonathan¡¯s voice in the muffled moans that reached me. Slowly, like a child that knows she¡¯s doing something wrong, I turned the handle and let it open only enough to see inside and, for a split second, I didn¡¯t know what I was seeing, at least until all the pieces got put together in my brain. I covered my lips with one hand, hiding my shocked exclamation, and yet was unable to turn away.


    Alexander was sitting on the bed, Jonathan on his lap, turning to him, almost as if they were a pair of lovers. I could easily see the naked skin of his back, marred by all those cruel red lines. The strength with which he held on to Alexander, his arms wrapped around his neck, made me blush. Alexander seemed to be kissing his bare chest, his dark-red hair completely disheveled, as if I really stood before some passionate scene. It took me some time to notice the small dagger stained with blood he held in one of his hands and I held my breath when I saw him raising it. Carefully, and with a deep expression of pain, I watched as he cut one of the red lines across Jonathan¡¯s chest and, when he placed his lips over the recently opened wound, I thought I¡¯d already intruded too much in that space that clearly only belonged to the two of them.


    I went back downstairs, careful to be as silent as possible, and went to the living room, feeling slighted depressed. How often would they have to go through that to keep Jonathan alive?


    I stopped by the door and, in just a split second, all my previous thoughts and cares evaporated. Gabriel had undressed his shirt and was unwrapping his bloodied bandages, the ones that I¡¯d put in place just last night.


    ¡°What are you doing!?¡± I finally managed to ask, hoping I sounded angry enough, and he raised his head to face me.


    ¡°Lea told me you did this,¡± he calmly observed.


    ¡°And why does that matter? You shouldn¡¯t even be walking around!¡± I remarked, half despairing before his puzzled expression. I¡¯d been so worried about Jonathan¡¯s problems that I¡¯d completely forgotten about just how serious his injury was. Once again my life was like a war zone, constantly bombed by every side, as my mind struggled to deal with everything at the same time.


    ¡°It was nothing serious,¡± he replied, unconcerned, which irked me more than it should.


    Nothing serious! How was he able to say something like that to my face! I still hadn¡¯t been able to erase the image of all that blood from my mind, of his mortally pale face as he mumbled delirious words no one had been able to understand. For a moment, last night, I really believed he wouldn¡¯t survive! And I was positive that any Human Being in his place had been dead somewhere before dawn.


    Before I could argue, or scold him any further, the bandages were in a pile on the floor. I watched as he also got rid of the gauze, looking down at his own chest with a curious expression. He pressed his own red skin along the suture, making me cringe, and nodded appreciatively.


    ¡°Almost good.¡±


    I just couldn¡¯t stop staring at him. In truth, although his skin was still stained with blood, the black stitches standing out like a sore thumb, the huge gash seemed completely healed. The ease with which he pressured it and touched it was proof enough of that. And on his chest, over the place where his heart should beat, I couldn¡¯t help notice the deformed red blotch, which the symbol of our Contract had become. I thought it had been gone forever and, knowing it was still there, even deformed as it was, strangely made me feel more at ease.


    ¡°These things are itchy,¡± he complained, ferociously scratching the stitches and I almost jumped.


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I blurted out and was even more surprised when he obeyed, looking at me inquisitively.


    ¡°Then what? Will I have to have these things on me forever?¡± He sounded annoyed again and I realized he hadn¡¯t the slightest idea of what surgical stitches were.


    ¡°The things Lea got for me. Where are they?¡±


    ¡°I put them in there,¡± he replied, pointing to a cupboard and I entered the room, going around the table in order to keep the distance between us. I got hold of my magically acquired utensils, filled the aluminum basin with distilled water and grabbed the rest of the cotton pads, along with the scissors, tweezers and, just in case, the bottle of rubbing alcohol.


    ¡°Sit there.¡± I pointed the chair on the other side of the table and he stared back at me for a brief moment, before obeying once again, his steps ever so slow and carefully measured while he blatantly kept an eye on me, probably expecting some kind of panicky reaction.


    Trying to stop my hands from shaking so much, and grabbing the things I¡¯d gathered, I told myself there was no reason why I shouldn¡¯t be able to do this! After all, I¡¯d practically spent the whole night beside him. I had taken care of him and I had been close enough to touch him ... even to hug him. And so I stepped determinedly towards him. My heart immediately jumped to a frenzy, the trembling of my hands taking over the rest of my body. I stopped for a moment, making sure I kept breathing, and checked all the things I¡¯d gathered, afraid I¡¯d end up dropping something.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice broke through my uneasiness, slightly calming me down, and I looked up at him. ¡°You don¡¯t need to do this.¡±


    I frowned, annoyed at his condescending tone, and took another step, and then another, in his direction. With a victorious feeling I finally sat down in front of him, although I couldn¡¯t stop shaking, and smiled proudly at his expression of disbelief.


    ¡°Close enough?¡± I asked with a smug smile. ¡°How did you think I managed to stitch you up?¡± I went on, my voice still shaky, no matter how much I tried to make it sound strong and decided. Awkwardly enough I couldn¡¯t help noticing how his eyes looked even brighter, intimidating and intense from up close, and so I focused my attention on the task at hand. ¡°Please stay still, now.¡±


    I drenched a cotton pad in distilled water and leaned forward. I softly pressed my shaky hand against his skin, cleaning the dried blood, a prickling feeling coursing from the tips of my fingers up to my elbow, almost as if the air around him was charged with electricity. And yet, this was not an impossible task to accomplish, I mused with a strange feeling of happiness. He kept completely motionless all through the process, so much so that I was having difficulties noticing if he was still breathing at all.


    As I cleaned his skin, the state of his injury became clearer. All that was left from the vicious gash that had cut him from side to side was the dark, irregular line formed by the stitches. No swelling, no redness, or even purple areas. His skin was as white and perfect as it had always been.


    ¡°The black lines must be first cut and then pulled carefully,¡± I told him, trying hard to resist the temptation of placing my hands flat on his chest. Seeing him so up close made me wonder if he was as hard and cold as he seemed. ¡°But it¡¯s best if I¡¯m not the one to do it.¡± I pulled away under the pretext of closing the bottle of distilled water. My hands were suffering from the destructive effects of his proximity and my whole body was shaking, even though I was trying my best to keep it under control. Trying to perform such a delicate task that involved a pair of scissors and cutting so close to someone¡¯s body was surly not the best of ideas.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind,¡± I heard him whisper and raised my head. He smiled, making me dizzy for a moment, and then closed his violet eyes, returning to that statue state of his. ¡°I promised I won¡¯t move an inch.¡±


    I blinked, still dazed. I¡¯d never been so close to him while keeping such a clear state of mind and, while that made me feel all proud and self-reassured, it also made me aware of an infinity of other small details that I¡¯d never noticed before.


    His dark eyelashes were incredibly long, casting soft bluish shadows on his perfect white skin. His thin lips could have been drawn, its contours absolutely perfect and, although he was serious now, their corners still crooked slightly upward, giving him an innate treacherous expression. The bangs of hair falling over his forehead concealed his thin, slightly arched eyebrows, and I had to concede that they were probably the point of his physiognomy that made him look so ... not Human.


    ¡°That¡¯s not the point!¡± I countered, looking away from the terrible beauty of his face. He didn¡¯t understand what I meant at all and I wished I didn¡¯t have to explain it word by word. ¡°I can¡¯t stop shak ...¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just say you were the one who stitched me up? So? I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be able to take them off as well.¡± His tone was suddenly so intense that it made me unconsciously hold my breath. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I promise I won¡¯t say another word,¡± he added, again back to whispering, and it took me some time to pull myself back together.


    When my heart went back to a fast, but constant, heartbeat, I grabbed the scissors I¡¯d left on the table and tried my hardest to make at least that one hand stop shaking so much. As slowly as he usually moved around me, I got it closer to his skin, my hand still shaking more than it should, and held my breath as I cut the first stitch. He didn¡¯t even flinch, keeping as still as he¡¯d promised. I dared look up at his face, trying to see if I¡¯d hurt him in any way, but Gabriel kept his eyes shut, his expression soft. I decided to try even harder, as if by doing so I could repay his effort and patience, and cut stitch after stitch, holding my breath every time I closed the scissors so close to his skin. He remained completely motionless the whole time, like the statue he seemed to be; even when, for more than once, my uncontrollable shaky hands made the scissors scratch him.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    Once I was finished I put the scissors on the table and sat up, allowing myself to relax for a moment, although relaxing was, to begin with, pretty much impossible with him sitting like that right in front of me.


    He opened his eyes, as if awaking from a brief sleep, and looked down at his white scar where dozens of small black threads stuck creepily out of his skin. With an intrigued expression, he pulled one of the sticking ends and thread slid easily.


    ¡°Pull it slowly! You¡¯ll end up hurting yourself,¡± I scolded, although my voice now sounded too rough and frail to be taken seriously, and he looked at me, watching me curiously, making me blush.


    ¡°Is it that hard?¡± he asked, slightly disappointed, and I had to avert my gaze. Facing his violet eyes was even harder than when his eyes were black.


    ¡°Hard?¡±


    ¡°Bearing my presence.¡±


    If my heart was already beating fast, it definitely jumped at that, my cheeks blushing from frustration. I really wished I could hide, or at least disguise, my stupid, unreasonable reactions from him. I was sure my obvious intolerance to his presence displeased him deeply, even though he always tried to look indifferent to it.


    ¡°The air that surrounds you is different,¡± I tried to describe, not wanting to give him a direct answer. ¡°It feels heavier, almost electric.¡±


    ¡°Is that why it¡¯s hard for you to breathe?¡±


    I nodded, feeling even more awkward. As to be expected, with his keen eyesight and hearing, he could easily see through me. Right then I was even willing to bet he could hear the madness that was my heartbeat.


    ¡°My heart always beats too fast, sometimes to the point that my chest hurts,¡± I added, frowning. ¡°And I can¡¯t stop this stupid trembling all the time.¡± Of all the incoherent reactions I felt near him, the uncontrollable trembling and shaking were the ones I hated the most.


    ¡°Sigweardiel says you react like this because, contrary to the rest of them, even himself or Lea, you¡¯re able to sense my true self, regardless if I¡¯m Sealing it or not. As it seems, everyone else can only see what I choose to show them.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean you¡¯re never yourself?¡± I asked, daring to take a peek at his face, and his expression became somewhat distant.


    ¡°The few times that happened there wasn¡¯t much left around me afterwards. Certainly not anything living.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you ever get tired? Constantly limiting and locking yourself up like that?¡± He shrugged.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been doing it since I can remember. To me it¡¯s as natural as breathing.¡±


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s kind of the same with me,¡± I said and he slightly tilted his head, looking intrigued. ¡°That automatic reaction thing. True that, in the beginning, standing close to you was really hard and exhausting. But then, contrary to what it may look like, now it¡¯s not that hard anymore. A bit tiring, yes. But that¡¯s only because of my own reactions. This constant shaking can even make my muscles ache at times. If all this is a reaction to your true self, then ... I guess you must be truly terrifying. And yet, contrary to what it may look like, I¡¯m not afraid at all. Sure I can look like I¡¯m scared to death at times, and sometimes, when my brain stops working properly and I can¡¯t think straight, that feeling really does take over me. But that¡¯s only because I¡¯m not myself when that happens, and all that¡¯s left is this bundle of chaotic emotions that don¡¯t even have a reason to be. But as soon as I¡¯m able to think straight again, as soon as I¡¯m me again, just like now, I¡¯m not afraid at all.¡± The intensity with which his violet eyes stared at me made me blush. I didn¡¯t really know why I¡¯d gone to the trouble of explaining all that, but I was kind of glad that I did.


    ¡°Does that mean ... you¡¯re not afraid of me?¡± The disbelief that marked his tone of voice left a smile on my lips. Sometimes it was really like I was speaking with Lea, not with the terrifying Gabriel sitting in front of me.


    ¡°I guess that if you don¡¯t count our first meeting, you never really gave any reasons why I should fear you.¡±


    ¡°But you know what I¡¯m capable of.¡±


    I squeezed my hands together as they suddenly started shaking even more. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°And yet ...¡±


    ¡°Alexander says I¡¯m not really normal. I guess that¡¯s due to the fact that I¡¯m apparently able to accept all too well the presence of beings like all of you. Although, in my opinion, I reacted badly enough as it is, until I was finally able to accept that there wasn¡¯t much I could do to change the circumstances I got myself into.¡± I pointed at the tweezers on the table. ¡°Use that to pull the pieces of thread.¡± He looked at the tweezers for a moment before grabbing them, his movements ever so slow. ¡°Always outward. And do it slowly!¡± I added as he quickly pulled three pieces in a blink of an eye.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t hurt at all. Tomorrow there won¡¯t be even a mark,¡± he proudly stated and I sighed, defeated by his unmovable certainty. ¡°Even so, two days. Who would have thought that it would take me this long to heal a little scratch like this?¡± I had to blink twice, completely stunned by the notion he had about the injury that had almost cost him his life.


    ¡°All because someone was stupid enough to go into battle and leave half his powers Sealed inside some miserable Magic Circle!¡± Another voice critically pointed out and I turned towards the door to see Alexander standing there, a deep frown marking his forehead.


    ¡°Eh! You¡¯re always exaggerating!¡± Gabriel grunted, apparently in such a good mood he didn¡¯t even bother to get angry at what he¡¯d just heard. Alexander stepped in closer and looked critically at his scar.


    ¡°I wish it would leave a deep, red mark so you would always remember just how stupid you really were!¡± he went on, still angry, and I couldn¡¯t help smile. In truth his bad mood only went to show just how worried he¡¯d been. I wondered if Gabriel had also noticed it. ¡°Mari, before ... I¡¯m sorry,¡± he added, his tone suddenly lower, filled with shame and guilt, even though I was the guilty one, since I¡¯d so unfairly judged him.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. How¡¯s he doing?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s sleeping. He probably won¡¯t wake up till tomorrow.¡± I nodded and Alexander turned back to Gabriel, who kept pulling dark threads out of his chest. ¡°I¡¯m replacing the cat.¡± He didn¡¯t even wait for an answer, disappearing in a shower of soft black feathers.


    ¡°Is Lea on watch?¡± I asked and Gabriel nodded, seeming too focused on what he was doing. ¡°Because of the Deiwos that escaped you?¡±


    ¡°Yes. But you have nothing to worry about. We won¡¯t be staying long, and he¡¯s sure to follow us when we leave.¡±


    Suddenly the world around me became incredibly silent. I was sure I hadn¡¯t heard it right and my mind immediately explained that fact with how soft his voice had sounded.


    If they left again I¡¯d be all alone, just like before, and my life would go back to that succession of gray, meaningless days it had been. With a shiver I recalled my last few weeks, where nothing seemed right and where something was always missing. I¡¯d forgotten all that the minute they¡¯d returned, bringing with them that mysterious glow that had brought me back to life. And now he was telling me that they were leaving again, soon, and that I¡¯d have to go back to my previous state of a living shadow, empty inside, showing to the outside world all that, in reality, I didn¡¯t have.


    I felt lost, and angry, and the only distinct thing that filled me was an inexplicable pain.


    ¡°You¡¯re ... leaving?¡± I repeated, fearing his confirmation, and he nodded, reopening the dark whole inside my chest that I¡¯d almost forgotten about.


    ¡°It was never my intention to return.¡±


    ¡°And you were going to disappear? Just like that?¡± I accused, my voice escalating almost to the point of hysteria, and his hand froze, the tweezers he held about to catch hold of another piece of thread. I watched as he slowly raised his head to look at me, and only then was aware of the burning anger eating at me, making my face red hot. I looked away, escaping his intent gaze, the way he looked almost surprised before my sudden explosion, and wished I could simply run away from that place.


    ¡°That was also not my intention ... not in the beginning at least,¡± he added and I made myself keep my mouth shut, knowing that if I didn¡¯t I¡¯d only end up spouting more unjustified accusations. Right then I felt childishly wronged and left behind, as if all the emotions I¡¯d tried to subdue since they¡¯d left had suddenly returned to claim their right to express themselves. ¡°However, as time went by, I was able to think more clearly about everything. And, after our last talk, I concluded that the only way I can get what I really want is by keeping away from you.¡±


    I looked at him in outrage and frowned deeply annoyed at his nonchalant expression.


    ¡°And what¡¯s that exactly?¡± I asked, the sarcasm deep in my voice, and he had the audacity of smiling.


    ¡±Quite simple, really. First, that our Contract won¡¯t be fulfilled so that, somehow, even from far away, I can be a part of your life. And second, that you may smile more often and that you won¡¯t be constantly dragged to a world where you don¡¯t belong, and where I do not wish you to belong.¡± I could hardly contain myself. I cringed and felt as my cheeks took on a much deeper red. And yet, the pain that ran amok in my chest almost felt like he¡¯d just stabbed me.


    ¡°How can you be so selfish ¡­ and only think of what you want?¡± I muttered in between clenched teeth, the sadness leaving a bitter taste in my mouth, but, as usual, no tears to talk about.


    He looked even more baffled and then a deep frown marked his white, perfect brow.


    ¡°But I did think! I thought of what you want! Didn¡¯t you want to get rid of me? To go back to your normal life as it was before?¡± he asked, looking confused and angry. But his inability to understand me only went to enrage me even further.


    ¡°You really are ... an idiot! Life as it was before?¡± I repeated ironically. ¡°Just look at me! You really think nothing has changed? That I¡¯m still the same?!¡± I hid my face between my hands, elbows on my knees, and took a deep breath, trying to pull myself together, knowing that if I kept going down that path I¡¯d end up losing myself somewhere on the way, and tried to calm down. ¡°Why do I even bother,¡± I murmured, suddenly feeling all too tired. Trying to communicate with him was always a battle, and one that I always ended up losing.


    We were both silent for a moment and, when he spoke again, his voice was so gentle and soft that it almost hurt.


    ¡°Tell me. What are you thinking?¡±


    ¡°That all my efforts are for nothing. That no matter how much I try, I¡¯ll probably never be able to understand you. That in truth I¡¯d very much like to cry.¡± I sighed and raised my head, accepting defeat and the emptiness that came with it. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. Do as you please. In the end, that¡¯s how things have always been.¡±


    I stood up, avoiding having to face him again, and forced my shaky legs to obey me and take me away from there, away from him. I would have run if I wasn¡¯t so afraid to stumble and fall. I climbed the stairs up to my room, holding on to the handrail with too much strength as I tried to keep my ribs from hurting, and was finally back to my small sanctuary.


    I sat on my bed and blinked my nonexistent tears away. The lump in my throat and the pain brought about by his words still lingered, making me sad and angry at myself at the same time. I¡¯d fought so hard to keep what I was intact but had ended up allowing him to take too much space inside of me; space that, once he was gone, would remain empty and aching. And I couldn¡¯t even scream that I¡¯d been betrayed, although it certainly felt like it. After all, I¡¯d always known he¡¯d end up disappearing without a warning. He¡¯d come to revolutionize my world and, now that my world had gotten used to his chaos, he was going to disappear, probably forever.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at https://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 21 - Part 3

    ¡°Mariane.¡± The jump I gave made me wince in pain.


    ¡°I¡¯ve told you not to call me like that!¡± I scolded him, anger still bright red inside my chest, and I looked up at him. He was standing by the door as if some invisible boundary prevented him from entering. I noticed he¡¯d put on a shirt, although he hadn¡¯t taken the time to button it, the black lines he still hadn¡¯t gone around to pulling sticking out of his chest, heavily contrasting with his white skin. His perfect face, usually indifferent, looked worried and somewhat sad and, annoyingly, I noted that that realization was enough to placate my fury. I wasn¡¯t used to be able to so easily read emotions on his face. The only moments when that had happened Lea had always been close by.


    ¡°Explain,¡± he finally told me, or commanded me, and, as I stared blankly at him, he averted his gaze. He seemed agitated, not at ease at all, his gaze running all around the room as if it were the first time he saw it, and the words got caught in his throat. ¡°I also want to understand. But I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll only be able to ... if you explain it to me. And maybe there might be things you¡¯d rather not talk about. But if you don¡¯t, I¡¯ll never be able to understand them because my mind works differently than yours, and right now I can¡¯t really tell what you¡¯re thinking. So, if you can explain ...¡± He left it hanging. I was beyond stunned. I was frighteningly aware that, in the last few weeks, something in me had changed. But realizing that something had changed in him as well was even scarier.


    ¡°Explain?¡± I muttered and he folded his arms, avoiding looking at me in a clearly defensive posture.


    Explain what? How? Where to start? And how could I possibly explain things that I couldn¡¯t even begin to understand? No matter how many times I turned things in my mind, I always ended up even more messed up than when I¡¯d started. In that moment, the only clear, objective thing for me was how I felt, and yet most times my feelings were contradictory. The idea of exposing them before him, just like that, terrified me even more than his immeasurable presence. My mind still kept that old alert in place ¡ª he was not Human! And exposing my weaknesses just like that could be all too dangerous.


    And yet, although I¡¯d just told him to do as he pleased, the mere idea of him leaving again was enough to break me to pieces. I squeezed my hands together and the only coherent thought in my mind was what could I possibly do to make him stay?


    Suddenly I recalled what Lea had told me, and my heart jumped back to life, holding tight to that small hope. And so I straightened my back, turning to face him, although he was still avoiding me, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°I do not wish you to leave again!¡± I stated as clearly as possible, my voice for once unwavering, and yet, saying it out loud, was even harder than I¡¯d imagined it. Almost as if to say those few, brief words, I had to break little pieces of myself.


    His body was immediately tense, as if I¡¯d just punched him out of nowhere, and his incredulous gaze fell over me. Still I didn¡¯t allow it to intimidate me, or scare me, like it normally did. ¡°I wish you to stay in this house!¡±


    ¡°What are you saying?¡± he whispered under his breath, frowning angrily, and I dug my nails in the back of my hand to make sure I wouldn¡¯t hesitate, not even for a second.


    ¡°I wish you to stay in this house!¡±


    ¡°Mariane!¡± I cringed at his angry tone, shuddering at the sound of my name in his voice, but immediately sat upright again, making sure I kept facing him. My heart was beating painfully fast now, my stomach tied into a huge knot, but I¡¯d never been surer of anything else in my entire life.


    ¡°You can raise your voice all you want. You can even make use of the power you have over my name,¡± I told him as calmly as possible, although absolute chaos reigned inside my head. ¡°My wish will not change.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying!¡± he countered furiously, his eyes now gleaming. ¡°You have no idea of how much I tortured myself over this! Of how much I thought this over and over! Until I was finally able to accept the idea of setting you free! And now you want me to stay?¡±


    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s what I wish.¡±


    He unfolded his arms and a cold, dangerous smile took over his face, distorting it into a cruel expression that sent shivers throughout my entire body. The air around me trembled, or was it the floor? The sound of a loud screech made me cover my ears with both hands and I closed my eyes trying to keep my emotions under control. The terror that washed over me left me breathless and all I wanted was to scream and run away. And so I bent over my own legs, making sure I¡¯d stay put, no matter the cost.


    A rough hand grabbed me by my hair, pulling my head up and backwards, and I gasped for air when I should be screaming in pain.


    ¡°Are you forgetting who I am?¡± His cold, icy tone reminded me of the first night I¡¯d seen him, but, strangely enough, something deep inside me remained untouched, like a lake of calm, still waters in the center of a stormy, uncontrolled sea.


    I opened my eyes to look at him, his face so close to mine that I could feel his warm breath on my skin, and I couldn¡¯t help smile, although even my lips were trembling. Even though he wore this cruel, furious expression, his eyes were still violet, not a gleam of red in them.


    ¡°So silly,¡± I muttered, my voice almost inaudible due to the lack of air that made my chest burn. ¡°Kill me then.¡±


    As I expected those simple words were enough to defeat him. His hand lost its strength and ended up releasing me. I watched as he stepped back, and then some more, until he was against the wall on the other side of my bedroom, almost as if he wished to run away from me. I could clearly feel it as he controlled his own presence. It seemed like he was shutting it up bit by bit inside of him, until the air around us became breathable again and my tremors started to fade.


    ¡°Why?¡± His rough voice sounded as broken as mine, and I ran a still shaky hand over my face, feeling too tired but definitely unwilling to let him have his way.


    ¡°Gaalgha ... Isn¡¯t that what you call us?¡±


    ¡°The Merifri call you that,¡± he corrected.


    ¡°So, Alexander explained that we do not feel the same way other Humans do, but, at the time, I couldn¡¯t really understand what he meant,¡± I confessed. ¡°When things change slowly, a bit every day, we tend to lose sight of how things used to be in the beginning. I always thought I was the same as everyone else ... a bit different, maybe, but a difference on the same level as all other differences that distinguish people from one another. Sure, the world around me was kind of grayish, but that was the normal world as far as I was concerned, and so I knew perfectly well how to deal with it. But then you came along. Now that I look back, I guess what I really feared right from the start wasn¡¯t really you, but the inevitable change your existence would imply. I fought as hard as I could against it, constantly trying to find ways to stop myself from changing, trying to find some measure of support on the outside world, something that would always remind me of who Mariane was. But you, your every single action seemed to be aimed directly against it. You made me change my clothes, my family, my friends, even my own personality, and no matter how many times I told myself that all these were temporary things, that it would all end one day, the truth is that I couldn¡¯t stop myself from getting used to all these changes.


    ¡°I suppose that it¡¯s in our nature, this ability to adapt,¡± I continued as he listened attentively. ¡°And that wouldn¡¯t even have been all that bad, right? I mean, if I could adapt to your presence, it seems only natural that I should be able to readapt once you were gone. What I didn¡¯t know was just how much I¡¯m really not like everyone else. Feeling things differently? That¡¯s the understatement of the year! And either I¡¯m really a freak or not even Alexander knows all that much about us. In truth I just can¡¯t feel anything at all, like, nothing. All my emotions and normal, daily reactions are more learned than anything else. I smile because I¡¯m supposed to. Laugh or look sad because that¡¯s what others expect me to do. Alexander says my Soul works independently from my heart, that that¡¯s why she feels things differently and why, unlike everyone else, she wins over my other Human emotions. But, in my case, I really think there¡¯s nothing else inside me. My Human emotions don¡¯t exist, except ...¡± I hesitated and looked away, frustrated with how awkward and embarrassing it all sounded, but went on. ¡°Feelings like rage, anger, sadness, fear, curiosity ... happiness. The only moments I was able to truly feel these things were during the days you were a part of my life,¡± I confessed, annoyed at my own embarrassment as I was sure my face was getting redder again. ¡°I never noticed any of this before because I¡¯d never realized just how ... empty I really am. But, after you left, and although in beginning I did feel relieved, as time went by all I could really see was just how ... fake I am. It was as if I didn¡¯t really exist, as if I were no more than a shadow.¡±Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    I squeezed my hands together, torturing my own fingers to keep the nervousness at bay. I was too aware that what I¡¯d just told him could cause irreparable damage to my own being but, in the face of the idea that he might leave again, just like that, I was all but willing to take the risk.


    ¡°How can you say something like this?¡± he asked and his soft tone was like a balm for the wounds I¡¯d just exposed. ¡°What about Michael? You loved him way before I came into your life,¡± he reminded me, but the bitterness in his voice didn¡¯t go unnoticed.


    ¡°Michael. Yes, he was always the exception,¡± I confirmed, ¡°He was the light in my gray world. Just from looking at him, even from far away, my dull life gained new meaning every day. I know it sounds ... ridiculous, saying it like this. But that¡¯s how I felt. And yet, even that seems to have changed. I also thought that, even if you were gone, even if I couldn¡¯t feel anything else, Michael alone would always be my light. But as time went by, not even that was left. And knowing that I can only give him empty smiles, it¡¯s terrible! Almost unbearable!¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t love him anymore?¡±


    I raised my head and faced his intense gaze. I hesitated for a moment, between truth and lie, and even though I knew he would rather hear the lie, I decided to be as honest as possible.


    ¡°I do. I do love him, and now that you¡¯re back I¡¯m more certain of that than ever,¡± I replied and he frowned again. I could easily see the effort it took him to keep his emotions under control and a cold, sarcastic smile tore at his perfect lips.


    ¡°So, you¡¯re telling me that my presence here increases the feelings you have for him?¡± he asked and, as I didn¡¯t reply, his cold laughter filled the air, sending shivers down my spine. ¡°Just perfect.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand.¡±


    ¡°Is that a question?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I answered and we were both silent for a while. ¡°Are you angry?¡±


    ¡°Angry? I can¡¯t allow myself to feel such things. I do not wish your life to be over just yet, and that alone requires my every single drop of self-control.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡± I asked, hoping to extend a bit more our conversation, trying to somehow ease, even if just a bit, the heavy atmosphere that had remained, and he sighed.


    ¡°The smallest loss of control can be very bad for something as frail as you,¡± he told me and, before my expression of disbelief, looked around as if searching for something.


    I watched as he crossed the room with gracious movements and slow, calculated steps. He went to my desk and grabbed the metallic cup where I kept a numerous amount of pens and pencils, emptying it on the table. Then he turned back to me, the cup between his open hands, and easily joined them, as if there were no cup at all, the screeching sound of folding, creasing metal filling the room. It didn¡¯t even take him a second and my cup was a thin metallic foil.


    ¡°Impressed?¡± he asked, sounding amused, and only then I noticed that I¡¯d been gaping at him.


    ¡°Yes ... and no. It¡¯s something that I could have easily imagined, but seeing it like this has a different impact,¡± I admitted and, noticing how my hands had started shaking again, he went back to his place, leaning against the wall opposite to where I sat.


    ¡°Last time, when we were attacked by that Mazzikin and I held you, I couldn¡¯t think about anything else. If I was holding you too tightly, if I¡¯d end up unwillingly breaking your bones. Feeling them under my hands and knowing how frail they are is ... disturbing.¡±


    I raised a hand, watching it closely, and frown displeased with what his concept implied.


    ¡°I''m not that frail!¡± I countered and he smiled, lifting just the corner of his mouth with a mocking expression.


    ¡°That depends on the point of view.¡±


    I thought it better to leave it at that. I¡¯d never had such an easy, and yet so sincere, talk with him. If it weren¡¯t for small details, like the distance we had to keep from each other, I could have easily marked these moments as common.


    ¡°Can I ask a question?¡± I asked and he folded his arms.


    ¡°And since when do you ask permission for that?¡± he replied ironically and I couldn¡¯t help smile.


    ¡°I remembered that questions used to annoy you and leave you in an impossibly bad mood,¡± I mocked and he sighed.


    ¡°Just ask!¡±


    ¡°Before you left, and even just now, you said you wanted me to smile. Why?¡± He looked away and stood up straight.


    ¡°I better go and see what¡¯s keeping Lea,¡± he said with an expression that told me our conversation was over, and I jumped to my feet when he took the first step towards the door.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡± I commanded fiercely, and he looked back at me with an incredulous expression. ¡°You¡¯re running away because the subject doesn¡¯t please you? I was completely honest with you because I recognized that, just like you said, this is the only way we can understand each other! I need to know.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to know!¡± he harshly cut me off and I knew my cheeks were blushing again.


    ¡°I¡¯m not the only one who¡¯s changed! You have also changed!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong! It¡¯s only the fact that you no longer fear me like you did in the beginning that makes you see it like that! Someone like me, who has lived all I have lived, doesn¡¯t change anymore!¡±


    ¡°Is that what you want to believe?¡± I asked and he stared at me, angry again. ¡°Or is that what you want me to believe? Izrail ...¡± I whispered the name for the first time, feeling just how heavy it sounded in my voice, and he took a hand to his face seeming suddenly too tired.


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me that,¡± he muttered and I couldn¡¯t help smile, happy that I¡¯d found a weapon with the same kind of power that my name, in his voice, held over me.


    ¡°If you stop calling me my name,¡± I immediately negotiated, and he looked at me from between his long pale fingers.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind you using my other name. Just not that one,¡± he told me and it was my turn to fold my arms critically.


    ¡°And since when is Gabriel your name? Every time I have to say it out loud it gives me the creeps at how fake it sounds!¡± I stated and he seemed indignant.


    ¡°Ah, but you don¡¯t seem to have any problems at all with Alexander!¡± he blurted out and I gaped at him again, ending up laughing, which seemed to confuse him. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Nothing ... nothing, really. It¡¯s just that, when you say what you really think you¡¯re kind of funny.¡±


    ¡°Funny?¡± He looked like he was wrestling against the concept and I just nodded. ¡°In any way, when I said my other name, I didn¡¯t mean the Human name I¡¯ve adopted,¡± he clarified and only then I understood he was referring to his real name, the name I supposedly had used to evoke him.


    ¡°I ... don¡¯t know your name,¡± I confessed, kind of embarrassed, as if it were my duty to know it. ¡°How could I possibly identify it in all those strange words?¡± I said in my own defense and he seemed amused with my pout.


    ¡°I know,¡± he admitted. ¡°Actually, no one knows my real name. Besides me, the only one who knew it was the one who gave it to me, and she ceased to exist a few seconds after I was born.¡±


    ¡°Your mother,¡± I concluded with a solemn tone and he shrugged as if that could clear away the implicit weight of my tone.


    ¡°My breeder, yes,¡± he corrected. ¡°Only that name has the power to evoke me and, in a certain way, to control my power. Or it should, if I weren¡¯t so strong,¡± he added again with that unbearable smug expression, and I ignored his prepotent statement.


    ¡°If she died a little after you were born, and no one else knows it, how can you remember it?¡±


    ¡°No Shedim forgets his name after hearing it once.¡±


    ¡°And the other names?¡±


    ¡°They were given to me by others. Izrail, for example, was given to me by leader of our clan, the first time he laid eyes on me. It means Angel of Death and that¡¯s why, somehow, I don¡¯t like hearing it in your voice.¡±


    I was really tempted to tease him again. But his embarrassed expression was just too endearing. That really sounded like something important to him.


    ¡°And then? What should I call you?¡± I asked, deciding to omit the fact that I already knew two more of his seven names, and thought that he¡¯d probably answer Skylar, the name Alexander had told me the Ruhim had given him. When he finally faced me again, his expression was serious and intimidating, making my heart beat uncontrollably faster.


    ¡°Nyx.¡° The word seemed to echo in my ears, his violet gaze piercing through me, leaving my mind completely blank. ¡°Although I¡¯d much rather if you didn¡¯t use it in front of others,¡± he added, almost hesitantly. I couldn¡¯t help notice the insecurity his whole being emanated. I was completely absorbed by his every discrete, almost imperceptible moves, the way his lips pressed nervously together, or the way his fingers lightly moved in an unconscious tic. Those were all expressions I¡¯d never thought he¡¯d be able to show, mirrors of feelings I¡¯d never thought he¡¯d be able to feel.


    ¡°Is that your real name?¡± I finally asked and he half-smiled.


    ¡°Part of it.¡±


    ¡°Nyx.¡± I tried saying it and he took in a deep breath, almost as if there was some kind of pleasant scent around him. ¡°What does it mean?¡±


    ¡°Night.¡±


    Yes, it fitted him perfectly, either being his long black hair or his usual coldness and indifference.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at https://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 21 - Part 4

    ¡°So?¡± I insisted, going back to our previous subject that he had so adeptly averted. ¡°You owe me an answer.¡± He looked away once more, but nodded, as if he¡¯d reached a decision.


    ¡°Agreed, then. We¡¯ll talk like this from now on.¡±


    ¡°Like this?¡±


    ¡°Honestly, without escapes.¡± I nodded, agreeing, half afraid of what it would mean when my turn came. ¡°Your notion of me is completely wrong.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°You see me as someone in absolute control of this situation. Someone above you. Someone that, somehow, commands the direction in which things and events around you progress, right?¡± I didn¡¯t answer. A few days ago I¡¯d agree in a heartbeat. But now, as his inexpressive face showed more expressions every day, I wasn¡¯t all that sure anymore. ¡°As it seems, things aren¡¯t at all that simple. I also thought they would be, but in truth everything¡¯s much more complicated than that.¡± I waited for an explanation until I understood that, if I didn¡¯t ask for one, he¡¯d leave it at that.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± I confessed and he nodded again, as if he needed to give himself permission to talk about it.


    ¡°Your doubts, your uncertainties, your frustrations, all that, I feel them as well. In all my years of existence I¡¯d never sealed a Contract with a Human Being, and the idea I had about what that implied is completely different from what it really means. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because you¡¯re different, or if it¡¯s because I¡¯m ... inexperienced in all this. The truth is that nothing goes as planned! There are too many things I don¡¯t understand and, annoyingly enough, not only about you, but about myself as well. Although it¡¯s true I¡¯d never sealed a Contract with a Human, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never established contact with your kind. But your existence just won¡¯t fit in anything I knew from before. When I think you¡¯re about to break, you show up the next day with a smile on your face. When I think you¡¯re about to despair, you scream and get angry at me. When I think I¡¯ve defeated you, you go around and make the craziest demands. It¡¯s been like this from the beginning. And I never know what to expect, what to do or say, or how to do it. Before I could realize it, I was already paying too much attention to everything you do, trying to understand what¡¯s going through your mind, or trying to foresee what would happen next. I¡¯m used to being able to hear the thoughts of those around me in such situations as this, but, like many of my other powers, it seems that gift has remained Sealed in your Magic Circle, which only goes to make everything much more frustrating!¡±


    I recalled that, just a while ago, Alexander had also said something like that, regarding his powers, and decided to not let it go.


    ¡°Magic Circle? The one I created for that spell?¡±


    He nodded and stared at the floor as if he could see it.


    ¡°Because you didn¡¯t finish the ritual, nor did you undo the Circle. So it remains active, Sealing inside it some of my powers,¡± he explained and my brain was once again rushing at the speed of light to fit these new pieces.


    ¡°Is that why you can¡¯t leave this house?¡± I asked and he shrugged.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that I can¡¯t. It¡¯s just inconvenient.¡±


    ¡°Your healing ability?¡± He nodded a confirmation and I immediately understood Alexander¡¯s anger. ¡°Reading thoughts as well?¡± He nodded again and I shuddered. He already held so much power. To think that it still wasn¡¯t his whole power was frightening. ¡°What else?¡±


    ¡°Controlling the thoughts, actions and emotions of others, and some other minor gifts,¡± he answered and I recalled he¡¯d already hinted at that, when we¡¯d first sealed our Contract. At the time, he¡¯d told me he wasn¡¯t able to control Michael¡¯s emotions. I would never have guessed that he really had that ability.


    ¡°So that means that part of ... your being is still Sealed?¡±


    ¡°I guess you can put it like that.¡±


    I thought about it for a moment and the image of him, dead-like lying on that couch, covered in blood, made me feel sick.


    ¡°How do I release it?¡± I immediately asked, urgency suddenly hammering against my chest, and his eyes widened as he stared at me incredulously.


    ¡°You want to release the rest of my power?¡± he asked and his laughter filled the room. He took a a hand tohis forehead as if I¡¯d just said something completely insane. ¡°How is this even possible?¡±


    ¡°Why? What?¡± I frowned. His ironic tone had the ability to really irk me.


    ¡°Who, in his right mind or with a minimal amount of common sense, would want to make his enemy even stronger than he already is?¡± he retorted, his violet eyes glowing with a silent threat as if that could reinforce his words.


    ¡°Because you¡¯re at war! And I don¡¯t want you to get hurt like that again! They¡¯ll end up killing you!¡± I blurted it out in my defense and he ran his hand across his hair in such a seductive movement that I had to look away. He could be worse than a serpent and I often felt like a defenseless small bird caught in his allure.


    ¡°I guess it didn¡¯t occur to you that that¡¯s exactly what you should be wishing for. If that really were to happen, you¡¯d be free from this Contract and, of course, free from my unworldly presence as well.¡±


    ¡°And I guess it didn¡¯t occur to you that I do not wish to get rid of you!¡± I replied in the same exact tone , and we were silent again ... until he sighed.


    ¡°And that¡¯s precisely what I was talking about,¡± he grumbled, but there was a soft smile on his face. ¡°Your existence, in its unpredictability, is extremely attractive, to the point of making me want to stay just to enjoy your presence. Near you, my long, boring existence is much more interesting.¡±


    I smiled with an almost childish happiness and took a deep breath.


    ¡°There¡¯s no problem then.¡±


    ¡°Oh, but there is,¡± he countered immediately, and his expression became serious again, almost dark. ¡°There¡¯s no point in me staying if my presence will end up destroying you.¡±


    ¡°That won¡¯t happen,¡± I declared with conviction and he smiled condescendingly.


    ¡°Yes it will. Because I cannot change. My being is ever expansive and it devours all that surrounds me. Destroying is part of my nature, even if I don¡¯t want to. It¡¯s like asking a leopard to restrain from hunting its prey with it standing right there beside him. I¡¯ll end up smothering you, like before, driving you insane. Or do you think that things will be any different if I stay? l won¡¯t resist the temptation of trying to manipulate you, trying to break your will, transform you into an obedient, predictable doll, just to show you I¡¯m stronger than your unpredictable nature. And, when that happens, you won¡¯t be Mariane anymore. And I¡¯d just destroyed something that I really cared about, that somehow made me feel good. I don¡¯t want to have to feel the pain of having broken something irreplaceable.¡±If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I was at a loss for words, my heart hammering painfully against my chest. I made my mind pass over all the possible and implicit meanings of what he¡¯d just said, and faced him with the same self-confidence he always showed.


    ¡°And so you would rather leave because if you do, I¡¯ll remain the Mariane you know,¡± I concluded and his silence was confirmation enough. ¡°Only because you¡¯re not here to see it! The Mariane you know only exists because you¡¯re here!¡±


    ¡°And so you¡¯re telling me to stay when I already decided that I¡¯d leave for your own good.¡±


    ¡°I already told you! I¡¯m not that frail!¡± I insisted, deciding not to let him out that easily. ¡°And tell me how to release the rest of your power! Enemy or not, there¡¯s not really much I can do against you, there never was. So more or less power doesn¡¯t really make any difference to me, but it¡¯s obvious that it¡¯s important to you.¡±


    Gabriel watched me for a moment. ¡°True that the ability to heal kind of makes a difference and I wouldn¡¯t mind having it back. But I do not wish to recover my other gifts. So, since I can¡¯t just free one of them, I¡¯d rather leave them all where they are.¡±


    ¡°Why? They belong to you, right? They are a part of you, right?¡±


    ¡°Sure. But in the situation I¡¯m in right now, I wouldn¡¯t be able to resist and would eventually use them. I¡¯d end up reading your mind, and controlling the will of people like Stephanie or Michael ... and you wouldn¡¯t like it. I wouldn¡¯t like it either, probably. In truth, these are powers I rarely use and that normally produce more negative results than otherwise. Listening to what others think can be truly ... devastating, a thousand times worse than a small scratch like this,¡± he added, referring to the white scar across his chest and I could almost swear I could see a shadow lingering in his eyes. I wondered what he¡¯d heard in the minds he had invaded.


    I had no way to counter that, although I really wished I could return his healing powers to him. He smiled, noticing my inner struggle, and I ended up sighing in defeat.


    ¡°Fine. But, in return, you have to fulfill my wish,¡± I quickly negotiated and the sound of a small bell echoed from the stairs. Lea had finally returned and his expectant face turned towards the door. That really frustrated me! Once more he wasn¡¯t going to give me a straight answer. ¡°Nyx!¡± I called him and his gaze was immediately on me, blinking almost as if he felt dizzy at the sound of his name. ¡°It¡¯s what I wish ... and my request.¡±


    Lea shot through the door, happily jumping towards him and hugged his legs. And yet he didn¡¯t look away, his eyes still locked on mine.


    ¡°What? What is it? What happened?¡± Lea asked, looking from him to me and back again, and Gabriel finally placed a gentle hand over his head.


    ¡°What would you say if we were to stay here for a few more days?¡± he asked and Lea¡¯s face seemed to come alive, his silver eyes even brighter.


    ¡°Really!¡± he asked and turned to me with a huge smile. ¡°Really, really?¡± I smiled at his clear happiness and nodded. He jumped again and ran to me, and I leaned forward wanting to pick him up, but immediately gave up the second I put my arms around him. Pain shot through my ribs and I tried as hard as possible to keep it at that and not let it show on my face. I¡¯d completely forgotten about it and scolded myself for that. I placed a kiss on his soft hair, and slowly sat on the bed, pulling his small body to my lap. Lea¡¯s fleeting serious expression told me he¡¯d noticed something, but as I smiled his excitement won over him again. ¡°Yay! This is great!¡± He went on hugging my neck almost too tight, and I returned his hug as if he really was the child he appeared to be. I¡¯d missed him so much!


    Now that Gabriel had given in to my request, I could stop lying to myself and, with a sigh of relief, honestly accept how hard it would have been to bear their absence again.


    When I looked up to thank him I was irremediably lost in his smile. His expression was, as always, impressively beautiful, but also gentle and soft, even though there was a shadow of sadness in his eyes.


    I had the feeling I¡¯d finally been able to understand his point of view. And yet I couldn¡¯t stop thinking I was doing exactly what Steph had accused me of. I felt guilty for using him so that I could feel a bit more like everyone else. And so I decided right there and then that I¡¯d never allow him to break me, that I¡¯d be strong and that I wouldn¡¯t be the cause of that pain he seemed to fear so much. That was the least I could do, the only way to repay him for his allowance. I¡¯d show him just how determined I could be, just how much I was able to bear! I¡¯d resist him with all my strength and I wasn¡¯t going to let him destroy the Mariane whose presence he apparently seemed to appreciate so much.


    ¡°What took you so long?¡± he finally asked and Lea perked up his head to look at him.


    ¡°Nothing much. I just walked around for a bit, trying to feel any presences, but nothing.¡±


    Gabriel nodded and I quickly tried to catch up. I didn¡¯t want to be left out.


    ¡°Presence? From the Deiwos that escaped?¡± I asked and they both looked at me at the same time, which was rather intimidating.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Gabriel confirmed with a resigned expression. ¡°Since when we returned I was in no condition to open a passage through the barrier, Lea had to break it down for an instant. Unfortunately, that was enough, and we were followed. This is also why I decided we should leave again, as soon as possible. If we stay you¡¯ll never be safe,¡± he added and my eyes dropped to the ribbon around my wrist.


    Lea stirred in my lap, as if my silence was making him restless, and I smiled, running a hand through is ever-unruly hair.


    ¡°But, with you around, there¡¯s no way I won¡¯t be safe, right?¡± I asked and Lea nodded immediately, hugging me again, obviously relieved with my answer.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± Gabriel¡¯s critical tone only made me even surer of my decision.


    Suddenly, from the moment I¡¯d been able to choose a determined line of action everything had become easier. Now, all I had to do was keep myself loyal to my own choice and follow it wherever it might lead me.


    ¡°No Deiwos alive can change my decision!¡± I told him firmly. ¡°And I¡¯m not about to allow you to use this as an excuse to go back on your word!¡±


    My tone seemed to displease him and a new crease marked his forehead as he looked towards the door.


    ¡°Fine! The decision was yours! Just be sure to keep up with the consequences!¡±


    ¡°Fine! You don¡¯t need to worry! That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯ll do!¡± I replied, just as dryly, He sighed.


    ¡°Get some rest, now,¡± he told me, again in that soft voice, and I smiled noticing he¡¯d ended the subject and that I¡¯d won. I could almost laugh in pure glee. That was a first, I noted proudly. And it felt really good! His upset expression, slightly embarrassed, was just perfect.


    However, my more practical, much more Human side talked louder and immediately filled my head with numerous tasks that needed to be performed before I could obey his command.


    ¡°I have to make us something to eat. Jonathan will be waking up soon. And I have to call the school. I¡¯m ditching classes since morning, and since they know my mom is away, if I don¡¯t give them a plausible justification, they¡¯ll probably end up showing up at my doorstep just to know what¡¯s going on.¡±


    ¡°I already called the school,¡± he informed me in his usual velvet murmur.


    ¡°You did?¡±


    ¡°Early in the morning, while you were still sleeping. I told them I was a neighbor and family friend. And that you had a cold and I was taking care of you at your mother¡¯s request. As for the rest ...¡± He didn¡¯t look at me even once, and folded his arms, back to that defensive posture of his. I¡¯d never noticed before how he often struggled with some words and concepts. I smiled, slightly amused, while he searched for the right words. ¡°I¡¯ll take care of it,¡± he finally added and I had to try hard to contain my laughter.


    ¡°You?¡±


    ¡°Why? It almost sounds as if I¡¯ve never done it before!¡±


    And it wasn¡¯t as if I could argue with that, I told myself, remembering the baked fish he¡¯d made to impress my mom.


    ¡°No ... I mean, I know you¡¯re quite capable. In fact, what can¡¯t you do?¡± I teased and he walked to the door in three surprising fast steps. To me, it almost looked like he¡¯d run, although it clearly wasn¡¯t the case.


    ¡°So, just do as I say!¡± he firmly restated in that tone that was practically impossible to disobey. ¡°Lea?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be there in a minute,¡± Lea replied and only then did I notice his mischievous, amused smile.

 Chapter 22 - Part 1

    Chapter 22


    ZIP


    ¨C Malkuth - The Pure Virgin. The reward of the Magister Templi.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    "My selfishness is like an incandescent, sharp storm that, ruthlessly, won¡¯t be stopped by anyone.


    Once awake, this burning monster opens paths never seen before,


    demanding a world of his own, a world I know that doesn¡¯t belong to me.


    Even so, the impulse that drives it forth is pure and, like such, irresistible ...


    This is the true voice of my heart.¡±


    In a silent agreement we waited until he left, to be sure we could talk without being overheard.


    Lea smiled happily and hugged me again.


    ¡°Thank you, Mari! Thank you so much!¡±


    ¡°What for?¡± I asked, holding his small, apparently frail body against my chest and he looked up at me, his eyes looking even brighter.


    Once more I remembered how much I¡¯d missed him. How much I¡¯d missed the smell of wet dirt after the rain of his hair, or his mischievous smile. I didn¡¯t know for sure how many times I¡¯d hallucinated, hearing the sound of his golden bell echoing all over the house, or even his fast running footsteps on the stairs.


    ¡°For letting us stay.¡±


    ¡°You have nothing to thank me for. To tell you the truth, I¡¯m being very selfish right now,¡± I confessed and smiled at his puzzled expression. ¡°I¡¯m doing this for me. Because I don¡¯t want to be left alone, again,¡± I admitted and he looked at me with a serious expression. And I knew if anyone could understand the true meaning of my words, that person was Lea.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be alone anymore, I promise! And you don¡¯t have to worry about anything. We¡¯ll protect you!¡±


    The absolute confidence in his voice left me slightly embarrassed and I tousled his hair as if that could maintain the image of the small child I tried so much to hold on to.


    ¡°I know that! And I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll only end up making everything much more difficult for you all. And that you would all have it easier if you would just leave. But even so, I don¡¯t want you to go! I know I¡¯ll never forgive myself if anything happens to any of you because I¡¯m being stubborn. But still, I can¡¯t make it weigh enough to change my decision.¡± Lea seemed to seriously ponder my words for a moment.


    ¡°It¡¯s not really like that,¡± he said. ¡°Although I might not have liked it all that much in the beginning, and sometimes I still struggle against it, the truth is that your presence has a big influence on all of us. These last few days were ... very difficult. Master was always in a bad mood, hardly speaking to us unless to talk about ways to destroy our enemies, even though he never wanted anything to do with this war before. He never smiled and rarely slept. All he did was give orders to everyone,¡± he lamented with a sorrowful expression. ¡°I missed being here a lot.¡±Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    I recalled the letters Steph had given me and smiled.


    ¡°But he never stopped thinking about you, not even for a moment. He knew you missed me,¡± I told him.


    ¡°Even so, he kept telling us we were never coming back,¡± Lea said with a sigh. ¡°Even when he was hurt. He forbade me from bring him here, and I waited for him to get better, hiding him while Alexander distracted our enemy. But he didn¡¯t get better at all! And I didn¡¯t know what else to do. And I thought that if I disobeyed him he¡¯d get mad and punish me, that he probably wouldn¡¯t want me anymore.¡± The anguish in his voice told me exactly how hard it had been for him to make that decision. ¡°But I just couldn¡¯t watch him suffer any longer. And so I decided I didn¡¯t care what would happen afterwards, if it meant he¡¯d get better. Not even if he decided to kill me. But then ... everything changed. He didn¡¯t get angry at all, or even punish me for disobeying. He began smiling again and playing with me. I think he¡¯s also much happier here. I guess Master also missed you very much, but of course, he¡¯d never say anything like that,¡± he added, lowering his voice to a whisper as if he were afraid someone other than me might hear him, and I couldn¡¯t help laughing at his secretive expression.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s hard for him, dealing with things like feelings,¡± I supposed after our previous talk and Lea nodded.


    ¡°I suppose. Because Master rarely deals with other people and he¡¯s kind of indifferent to everyone around him.¡±


    ¡°Except you.¡± Lea smiled at that, his eyes alight with pride.


    ¡°What about you, Mari? Did you miss us?¡±


    ¡°I almost died from missing you so much!¡± I confessed. ¡°I guess I don¡¯t know how to live without you anymore. Which is probably not good at all. But I don¡¯t really want to think about that right now. I was also really, really happy to see you all again. Even though you scared me to death!¡± I scolded him and Lea smiled.


    ¡°I knew you would help him!¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything special. I¡¯m quite sure that if he¡¯d been Human, he¡¯d be dead without a doubt.¡±


    ¡°Even so, you did help him!¡± he insisted and his expression became more serious. ¡°And by the way, let¡¯s see it.¡±


    ¡°See?¡± I asked unable to understand, and Lea poked my ribs with his small finger, making me cringe in pain as I tried to avoid his touch.


    ¡°You were hurt yesterday, when Master threw you across the room.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s nothing, really,¡± I told him, but I still placed a protective hand over the area that hurt, so that he wouldn¡¯t poke at it again just for the sake of argument.


    ¡°Let me see.¡±


    ¡°Really, Lea. It¡¯s fine.¡±


    Lea folded his arms and gave me a threatening look, but still I wouldn¡¯t capitulate.


    ¡°Fine then! I¡¯ll just tell Master to come and take a look,¡± he decided, nimbly jumping from my lap, and I hardly had enough time to get ahold of him, stopping him from walking away.


    ¡°Wait! Fine! I¡¯ll let you see,¡± I conceded and took a deep breath, pulling my pajama top up.


    I looked down at the area that had been hurting since last night. I still hadn¡¯t had the chance to do it myself, and couldn¡¯t help feeling impressed by the large purple area that covered the skin over my ribs. No wonder it hurt so much, I mused as I noticed it had even spread to my back. Lea¡¯s grave expression made me smile and pull my top down again.


    ¡°It¡¯s not as bad as it looks,¡± I assured him. ¡°We Humans bruise easily.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s so big.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯ll be fine in a couple of days,¡± I insisted but he looked unconvinced. ¡°You can¡¯t tell him about this, Lea. He¡¯ll be angry and he¡¯ll use this as another excuse to go away. And you don¡¯t want that, right?¡± I urgently added and he shook his head. ¡°So please,¡± I pleaded once more, knowing he never hid anything from Gabriel, hoping that the idea of having to leave would be enough to persuade him to keep one small secret, and Lea sighed.


    ¡°I won¡¯t tell,¡± he promised me, but his expression remained grave. ¡°But now you have to take care of yourself, Mari. Okay?¡± I nodded trying to reassure him and he sighed again. ¡°I better go and see what Master is doing. You get some rest. I¡¯ll come and call you when lunch is ready.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± I decided it best to play the good girl, wondering if a lunch at four o¡¯clock could still be called a lunch, and Lea gave me a last worried look before leaving me alone.

 Chapter 22 - Part 2

    I stretched my back, straightening the old, blue cotton tracksuit I''d put on, and followed Lea down to the kitchen. Halfway down the stairs I could already feel the delicious smell of roasted meat, which unconsciously made me speed my pace. The hunger that up till then I''d been successfully ignoring, suddenly roared in my stomach like a wild beast, leaving me mouth-watering.


    With some reluctance I stopped at the door and my eyes immediately found the steamy meatloaf already on the table. It was with difficulty that I looked away from my delicious-looking late lunch to watch him as he turned off the stove, placing another pot on the table.


    Lea didn''t wait, happily skipping towards his usual place and, after climbing on his chair, he sat down, his back very straight, anxiously following the cook''s movements.


    I too, anxiously waited for him to end his culinary tasks and take his own place. Sure I felt proud of myself for overcoming my deep intolerance to his presence, but I still couldn''t control the shaking every time he got a little too close. Besides that, all I had to do was take a peek at him and my heart would immediately go into a raving beat.


    He pretended not to notice any of that, or how carefully I chose the farther route from him to get to my seat.


    "Did you manage to get some rest?" I stared at him, surprised by the sheer fact that he had spoken, and nodded. "I just went ahead and used what I could find," he added, referring to his cooking masterpiece.


    "It smells really good!" Lea offered appreciatively, staring at the meatloaf with starving eyes, and I stretched out a hand, asking for his plate like always.


    "Yes, there''s nothing your Master doesn''t know how to do," I teased and Lea clapped when I returned him his plate now decorated with three slices of meat and a few spoons of carrot rice.


    I then repeated the gesture, asking for Gabriel''s plate, and couldn''t help smile as his eyes widened in surprise. With some hesitation, and in his usual slow movements, he gave me his plate and anxiously waited. I served him a similar dose of what I''d given Lea and returned it to him, his plate shaking in my hand until he finally took it from me. I could almost swear I could see a brief smile on his face and being aware of that made me feel foolishly happy with myself.


    For some time all that one could hear was the sound of cutlery against cutlery. The meatloaf was simply divine, the meat almost melting on my tongue, and I couldn''t recall having ever eaten anything quite as delicious. We were practically finished when my mind was finally able to consider other things besides how much every forkful was utterly amazing.


    "And Alexander?" I asked, feeling kind of guilty for only now noticing his absence.


    "He''s on watch," Lea answered half chewing, his mouth full, which only made it harder to understand what he was saying. "After lunch I''ll go and change with him."


    "I can go," Gabriel said and I was immediately captured by his vexed expression. The changes in his face were always faint to say the least, almost as if his skin was too smooth to allow any broad expressions. However, as time went by, I noticed I was becoming much more sensitive to those small changes. "I''m fully recovered."


    "One more day, Master. It''s what we agreed," Lea reminded him with a condescending tone, and he looked away almost pouting, like some thwarted, rebellious teenager.


    I choked my laughter, disguising it under the pretense of drinking some water, and Lea smiled victoriously since he didn''t insist any furhter.


    "Hmm, can I ask a question?" I asked, remembering something that had been tumbling around my head for quite some time now, and they both looked at me at the same time, making me feel slightly awkward. "What exactly is a Medium? When Jonathan and Alexander arrived, Alexander thought I was your Medium," I recalled, and Gabriel stared down at his plate, playing with some grains of rice.


    "I do not use Mediums," he stated with an unmistakable superior tone, almost as if using them was something unworthy, clearly beneath him, and I tried to look for some kind of explanation in Lea, but he didn''t seem willing to participate in our conversation.


    "But you said that Jonathan is Alexander''s Medium," I insisted and he nodded.


    "In their case it''s inevitable."


    "Why? What''s a Medium?"


    "I guess the easiest way for you to understand would be saying that he''s a shield," he said, raising his head as he decided to give me an explanation. "Some Deiwos use Mediums, a part that only a Human Being can fulfill. Which means that, during combat, all the damage that a Deiwos receives will be directly transferred to his Medium. The Medium, on the other hand, should possess the ability to dissipate the damage as fast as possible, or he''ll end up dead.


    "When one uses a Medium, all physical injuries are automatically canceled. All the rest, like the pain from those injuries, are passed on. For example, if you were really my Medium, I wouldn''t have been hurt at all. In compensation, you would have received my pain, and felt all I was supposed to feel, as well as any other psychological damage implied; everything except the actual physical damage. Normally, we are only able to actually injure a Deiwos once his Medium has been destroyed, which normally ends up happening sooner or later."


    I tried to integrate the information he provided as fast as possible and nodded. I decided I wouldn''t allow myself to cast any other kind of judgment and would only try and accept things how they really were. It was the least I could do, after insisting so much for him to stay, which inevitably meant my involvement in all that mess.


    "I see. But Jonathan didn''t die. And from what I gathered, this wasn''t the first time."


    "Sigweardiel says that Gaalgha ... Human Beings like Jonathan, make the best Mediums. Something to do with their ability to quickly dissipate the damage they receive. I don''t really understand, but it would seem he''s right. It was thanks to having Jonathan as his Medium that they were both able to survive in this war up till now. Sigweardiel may be a considerably strong Mazzikin, but he is not the strongest, not to mention how weak he is when compared with a Shedim. In any way he never showed any interest in increasing his power. So, I guess making Jonathan his Medium was their only chance. It was certainly the only Deiwos-like action I saw him take."


    "Because it was the only way they could survive. Because if he dies, Jonathan will also disappear," I summed it up and he nodded in a confirmation. "I still think he should tell him the truth!" I added.


    "That''s something that only he can decide. It''s none of my concern," he stated in what could well be described as a cold, indifferent tone, but the way he subtly lowered his gaze clearly told otherwise. In the end he wasn''t at all that indifferent, at least not as much as he wanted to look.


    When we finished our late lunch Lea presented me with one of those smiles that made me all warm inside and disappeared out the door, his bell jingling all the way as if he were simply about to go and play in the park.


    I immediately started on the dishes before he could think of doing them himself, the idea of him wandering up and down in that small kitchen making me uneasy, and he remained seated in his place, watching me in silence.


    I tried as hard as I could to just ignore the pressure of his gaze on my back and turned on the hot water.


    "Are you going back to school?" I asked, trying to break through that awkward silence and, for a moment, thought he wouldn''t answer.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    "I think it''s best if I don''t. The justifications needed would be endless. Besides, my presence is no longer needed and I''d only be further interfering with your life. I do not wish to disturb your friends, and I''m certain that Stephanie wouldn''t appreciate seeing me back."


    My hands stopped under the scalding water at the mention of Steph''s name. He''d been back for more than a day now, and I hadn''t thought about her even once, not even when I''d asked him that question. I smiled ironically and rinsed the plate I was holding in my hands.


    "My friends," I mused. "In the beginning they wouldn''t stop asking about you to the point I didn''t know what else to say. But then, now it''s almost as if they all forgot that you even existed. As if the questions with which they''d bombarded me on a daily basis are no longer important."


    "Yes. That''s how it should be."


    "Sometimes I wonder, if I were to simply disappear, just like that, if they''d also only ask for me during the first two weeks and then end up forgetting I''d ever been there."


    "It''s different."


    "Is it now?" I put the plate on the dish drainer and he didn''t answer. "Sometimes I get the feeling that they''ve already forgotten me, even though I''m right there, sitting beside them." We were silent for a moment while I washed the glasses. "But I guess you''re right. Steph probably doesn''t want to see you. Even though she''s back with Mark, she''s still not talking to me," I said and almost bit my tongue at how ironic my voice had sounded, wishing he wouldn''t notice it.


    "I''m sorry. That was never my intention."


    "I know. It''s fine either way," I responded, trying to sound nonchalant, even though my mind still blamed him; for what, exactly, I couldn''t tell.


    The sound of the phone ringing came at the right moment and I carefully made sure I was smiling when I turned to the door, relieved to have an excuse to leave that kitchen. I reached it in the corridor by the third ring and picked it up.


    "Hello?"


    "Mari! Hey! How are you?"


    Michael''s worried tone immediately transformed my fake smile into a real one. His voice sounded suddenly much warmer than I could remember, and I wondered if it had been really him whom I''ve been listening to these last few days.


    "Hi, Michael," I greeted him, genuinely happy that he''d called.


    "How are you doing? Feeling any better? I heard that you were sick. Want me to go there? Need anything?"


    He sounded really worried and I couldn''t help feeling guilty knowing that my fake illness was the cause of it.


    "I''m fine. It''s just a cold. I''ll be going back to school tomorrow."


    "Are you sure? I should have gone there immediately after school!" he reprimanded himself, but I was inwardly grateful he hadn''t. I didn''t know how to explain Gabriel''s return, or even the presence of the rest of them.


    "I''m fine, really. My neighbor just brought me dinner and everything." I lied with ease. Feeling guilty or not, I could never allow him to even consider the idea of making me a late night visit. I heard him sigh on the other end of the line and smiled as he sounded less preoccupied.


    "If you say so. But promise me you''ll really be going to school tomorrow!"


    "I promise. You know I don''t like skipping classes," I assured him.


    "I missed you." His voice echoed in the immediate silence that took over my mind. Again, his words almost sounded like a confession and my eyes were immediately on the ribbon around my wrist. I felt nothing ¡ª no burning, no pain, no strange sensations.


    The air around me became heavier, harder to breath, and I turned back with a startle. Sure enough he was standing there, by the kitchen door, watching me. I was instinctively thankful for the fact that he could not read my thoughts and hoped that his hearing wouldn''t be keen enough to hear what Michael was saying.


    "I got so used to our talks that, without you around, I just don''t know what to do during lunch breaks," Michael went on, laughing softly as if that was enough to dilute the weight of his words, and I chose to act as if his strategy had worked.


    "All right, all ready! No more whining! I promise I''ll loyally fulfill my part as your talk partner from now on," I joked with a fake smile while keeping an eye on Gabriel''s mood, and Michael laughed.


    "I''ll keep you to that!"


    "Be my guest," I replied, wishing I could end that phone call as soon as possible.


    "All right then. See you tomorrow."


    "Sure."


    "And if you need anything, just call. At any time!" he insisted, like he''d insisted dozens of times before and, although I really appreciated his willingness to put himself at my disposal like that, all I could think of was how much I''d like to put the phone down right that instant.


    "Thank you."


    "Get well soon. See you."


    "Bye," I answered and put down the handset before he could say anything else. I smiled, although I didn''t really feel like it, searching for some kind of reaction on his face, but he remained impassive, watching me in silence.


    "It was Michael," I ended up saying awkwardly, as if he didn''t know it already. "He was worried that I missed classes today."


    "Michael," he repeated. I blinked, half lost, trying to erase the oppressive feeling that came over me. I just couldn''t understand how a name that had always given me a warm, secure feeling, could sound so cold just because it had been said in his velvet voice. "All this time. He didn''t tell you anything?"


    I looked away, my face burning from embarrassment, and only then considered that I could have just pretended I didn''t know what he meant, in hopes of avoiding the subject all together. Anyway, I''d already decided, right? I''d decided I wouldn''t hide anything from him, that I''d be completely transparent, so that I could have the right to demand the same thing from him. And so I sighed.


    "He tried," I confessed. "But since Michael doesn''t have any memories from his past, he feels confused about a lot of things. Since there''s nothing in his memory that can help him understand his own feelings, he just doesn''t know what to call them. In his head, the boundaries between friendship and love aren''t defined at all. It was easy to take advantage of his confusion to simply avoid listening to any of that. I was extremely cruel and forbade him from ever talking to me about that again. Even though I don''t really know what''s needed to fulfill the conditions of our Contract," I added, facing his obvious fake smile.


    "Oh, that''s rather simple, really. All he has to do is admit before you that he loves you, be it by words or actions," he informed me and folded his arms with a critical expression. "But who would''ve guessed, about to have what you so much desired and trying so hard to make sure that it doesn''t come true. The price of our Contract must really displease you!"


    I frowned, annoyed at his words as much as at his tone. Suddenly it was as if we''d just gone back to the beginning.


    "It does displease me!" I confirmed, facing his sarcasm with my head raised high. "But contrary to what you might think, it''s not the idea so much that I dislike, but the situation in itself! If I am to sleep with you, then I''d rather do it right now, knowing that it is my choice, than having to do it because I''m being forced into it! I''ve already told you before! If that''s all you want from me, then I''m yours this instant! I''ll not fight battles I cannot win. That''s the same as trying to fight death," I said completely sure of my own words, and waited.


    "So, what you''re saying is that you''d rather choose when to die, than just wait for death to come?"


    "If I''m dying on someone else''s childish whim, then yes! I do! So?" I asked, keeping the offer up, and he looked away, still obviously annoyed.


    "Go and get some rest. Didn''t you just promise to go to school tomorrow?" I smiled at his angry expression.


    "Wanna know what just crossed my mind?" He didn''t answer. "That, in the end, you''re much more Human than you''d like to admit, and that we''re not all that different, you and me. Up till now we''ve never given in to one another without it implying an exchange of sorts, right? This time around, however, I made a request and you made it come true, and didn''t ask for anything in return. So, I''ll give you my thoughts. And I''ll prove to you what I just said, that we''re not that different. I guess you would have already figured that out if you had all your powers, and maybe things could have been different. But since that''s not the case, this is the only way I managed to come up with. You probably won''t believe half of what I tell you, but that''s fine too."


    "That''s ... what I told you before," he whispered, his voice almost inaudible. "That you probably wouldn''t believe my word, but you still did."


    "Because you''re the only one I can trust," I replied. "It really doesn''t matter if what you say are truths or lies. To me they are all the truth that you give me. If I didn''t think like that, how could I ever have accepted all that happened and all I saw? If you tell me to trust Alexander, how can I doubt that? If you tell me that there''s a war out there, how can I not believe it? What does it matter if there really is one or not? This is the reality you''re giving me, and so it''s the reality I have to live in and, in my insignificance, accept as my own. I spent too many sleepless nights trying to question your every word, your every action, your every intention, and I almost went insane. Like this all I have to do is follow the path you show me. I''d rather do that than be completely lost."


    "Even if that path leads you to your own destruction."


    "Even so. I cannot escape this labyrinth and I cannot find a way out on my own. So, I can only trust your words, and be thankful that you''re willing to speak at all."


    "And yet, if I were to disappear, the labyrinth would disappear with me."


    "And there wouldn''t be anything left!" I answered immediately, my heart hurting just from considering his words. "In the end Steph was right. I''m nothing but a small, selfish girl."


    "We fit each other perfectly then," he said with a slightly mocking smile. "Get some rest, Mari. Tomorrow is another day."


    "And you''ll be here! Right?" I wanted to make sure and he looked straight at me, his violet eyes seeming to glow amongst the shadows surrounding him, almost as if they had a light of their own.


    "Yes. After all, it was to fulfill your wishes that you called me here." I smiled, relieved by his confirmation, and went up to my room.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 22 - Part 3

    As expected from someone who¡¯d gone to bed not long after six in the afternoon, I woke in the middle of the night, even though I still felt tired. The clock on my bedside table showed ''3:45'' in the morning and I moaned, thinking that it would be less than four hours before my alarm clock rang.


    I slid out of bed, still yawning, and took a trip to the bathroom. However, as I passed the stairs, I thought I heard voices coming from the living room. I listened in silence for a minute, easily recognizing Alexander¡¯s voice which, strangely enough, sounded aggravated, angry almost.


    I went downstairs, praying the wood boards wouldn¡¯t creak beneath my feet, and hid against the wall, near the door, in the same place from where I¡¯d previously listened to another conversation.


    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡± Alexander was demanding in a mix of astonishment and exasperation. ¡°We already discussed this! Everything has been decided!¡±


    ¡°I changed my mind.¡± My heart jolted to life at the sound of his deep voice.


    ¡°What changed your mind?! Do you have some hidden death wish that I don¡¯t know about?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going back on my word. You can do as you please,¡± Gabriel replied, sounding incredibly calm when compared to Alexander¡¯s ill temper.


    ¡°Izrail!¡± Since raising his voice didn¡¯t seem to accomplish anything, Alexander took a deep breath and looked like he was trying to calm himself down. ¡°You will also be placing her in danger,¡± he argued.


    ¡°I can very well take care of that.¡±


    ¡°And who¡¯ll take care of you? After what happened last time, you can hardly still think you¡¯re invulnerable! And the closer you are to this place, the less power you¡¯ll be able to use without placing all these Humans at risk!¡±


    ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary. I¡¯m perfectly capable of defeat them without having to use that much power.¡±


    ¡°One, two maybe. But if you stay, others will follow. If it goes around that you¡¯re back and that you¡¯ve set camp in this piece of land, alliances will be made just to defeat you! You know they all fear you! And there¡¯s nothing like pure fear to make everyone put their differences away!¡± Alexander insisted, trying to appeal to his better judgment, and I squeezed my hands together as I understood the reason behind their argument.


    ¡°I¡¯ll deal with that in due time.¡±


    ¡°But can it be possible! Just get it through your thick skull! You cannot stay here!¡±


    Alexander¡¯s roar made me cringe and I held my breath as I waited for Gabriel¡¯s answer.


    ¡°For the last time, Mariane wants me to stay and, as long as this is true, I¡¯ll do as she wishes.¡±


    His answer allowed me to breathe again.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± Alexander echoed with a hint of resentment. ¡°Stop making excuses for yourself! You¡¯re the one who wants to stay!¡± he accused but Gabriel remained silent. ¡°Izrail, I¡¯ve been telling you since the beginning, she¡¯ll never give you what you want.¡±


    ¡°I know and I¡¯m glad she won¡¯t,¡± he replied, apparently indifferent, and a sharp pain pierced my chest.


    ¡°For crying out loud! Have you looked at yourself? This is not like you at all!¡± Since he didn¡¯t answer, Alexander went on. ¡°She¡¯s just a Human child! She¡¯ll eventually die! What could you possibly want to achieve in the small time she has to live?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care about any of that ... at all.¡± This time around his voiced sounded rougher and I wished I could just go in there and end that meaningless argument, but my body wouldn¡¯t move.


    ¡°She¡¯s a Gaalgha with no Guardian. And she¡¯s only using you to fill in the emptiness that remained when he left. It¡¯s a bond too strong to be broken just like that. And you were the first one she found able to see her for who she really is. What do you think will happen once he awakens? Yeah, because I¡¯m sure you know that if we stay, that¡¯s what will eventually happen!¡±


    ¡°I know that!¡± Gabriel raised his voice and I shuddered as he sounded furious all of a sudden, the air around me becoming heavier and harder to breathe. ¡°And enough of this!¡±


    ¡°Izrail! You¡¯re not her Guardian!¡± Alexander said over his angry voice and the air crackled like it was electrified, making me shiver from head to toe.


    ¡°What do you mean by that?¡±


    ¡°That that¡¯s exactly how you¡¯re behaving!¡± Alexander replied and their argument became even fiercer.


    ¡±That is ... ridiculous!¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s ridiculous is your stubbornness! You think I¡¯m blind? You used this meaningless Contract as a link and you fell right into the same trap all Iaidon fall!¡± The sound of footsteps startled me and for an instant I thought I¡¯d been found.


    ¡°Nonsense!¡± Gabriel stubbornly replied, somehow sounding more under control again.


    ¡°You listen to me very carefully. These feelings ... she¡¯ll never answer them! What¡¯s worse, they do not have place in beings like you. You¡¯ll end up either destroying yourself or breaking her. One of you will not leave this unscathed. And, if it¡¯s to end up destroying yourself, then you may as well end this right now. Just go upstairs and kill her, and be done with it!¡± The sound of something falling and breaking made me jump. My heart was drumming in my years, making it harder to hear what they were saying, and yet his soft whisper reached me as clear as always.


    ¡°Say that one more time ... and it¡¯s the last thing you¡¯ll say.¡± The ice in his voice stole my breath away and the silence that followed left me apprehensive.


    ¡°You¡¯re beyond any measure of salvation, Izrail,¡± Alexander finally declared and I thought I could hear a deep sorrow in his voice. Once more I heard the sound of footsteps and then Gabriel¡¯s menacing presence was gone.


    I practically ran upstairs, making sure I was as silent as possible, and hid under my quilt, my breath still labored and out of control. The hand I placed against my chest told me I was still alive and I tried to regain control over wayward emotions.


    My Guardian ... he had to be close by, I gathered. Sleeping, somewhere, and the idea that he might suddenly wake up made me feel anxious and apprehensive at the same time. I really wanted to know why he¡¯d left me and, deep inside, I believed that he¡¯d certainly had a very good reason to do it. But, on the other hand, I didn¡¯t know how I¡¯d react to the sudden presence of an angel in my life. I could easily foresee that keeping a Deiwos for company wouldn¡¯t be allowed and, at that moment, I couldn¡¯t even deal with the possibility of that thought.


    Inevitably, my thoughts ended up turning towards the true reason of that argument. My heart jumped into a mad race and the word ¡®feelings¡¯ echoed in my mind.


    I immediately refused to ponder on that any longer. The only question I allowed myself to ask was if any of what I¡¯d heard had, somehow, made me change my decision. The answer was clear and prompt ¡ª no.


    And becoming aware that everything remained exactly as it had been just a few minutes ago filled me with a peaceful quietness that finally allowed me to go back to sleep.

 Chapter 23 - Part 1

    Chapter 23


    ZID


    ¨C The Holy Guardian Angel. His instruction.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    "Because I feel I know I¡¯m alive, that something more inhabits me,


    even if what I feel slowly makes me sink into a dark ocean of terror.


    Ah, how I wish that the threads that bind me were everlasting,"


    I woke up with the sound of my noisy alarm clock, but unlike any other day I got dressed in record time and was flying out the door in less than five minutes.


    I was already halfway down the stairs when I remembered Jonathan and turned back to check on him. He was still asleep like he¡¯d been the entire previous day, but his sleeping expression looked much more peaceful, and so I left as quietly as possible so as not to disturb him.


    I was smiling happily when I went back to the stairs. If Jonathan was still there that meant everyone else was as well. After the talk I¡¯d overheard the night before I had half feared waking up to an empty house.


    I hurried down the stairs and stopped by the kitchen door, my smile even brighter when I found them sitting at the table.


    ¡°Morning!¡± I greeted them, trying to contain my happiness, and Lea jumped from his chair, running across the kitchen to hug my legs.


    ¡°Morning, Mari! How are you feeling?¡±


    I tousled his soft hair and smiled back at him.


    ¡°Much better. I got plenty of rest yesterday,¡± I replied and winked at him when he gave me a critical look. ¡°Wow! Have you eaten?¡± I asked, my eyes immediately lost on the wonderful breakfast that awaited me, and Alexander gave me one of his mocking sneers.


    ¡°Izrail made a point of leaving it all there for your breakfast,¡± he informed me and I looked at the set table with renewed attention, my cheeks slightly blushing. There were only things I liked to eat in the morning ¡ª scrambled eggs, pancakes, little delicious-looking buns, cheese, five different types of jam, chocolate cereals and a variety of yogurt flavors that would certainly shame most neighborhood supermarkets. And, of course, my favorite peach juice.


    ¡°Where is he?¡± I asked, taking my seat and grabbing a small seed bun from the basket.


    ¡°He¡¯s on watch. I¡¯ll be taking his place soon,¡± Lea replied. ¡°Alexander will take you to school.¡±


    I looked back at him, searching for a confirmation, and immediately recalled what he¡¯d said the night before. Somehow it almost felt as if right now he was my worst enemy.


    ¡°Is that really necessary? School isn¡¯t that far away,¡± I pointed out and Lea folded his arms with an intransigent expression that didn¡¯t match at all with his childish appearance.


    ¡°It¡¯s necessary! And no arguing!¡± he firmly added and I sighed, knowing that there probably wouldn¡¯t be any point in that. Those were, most likely, Gabriel¡¯s orders, and neither one of them would disobey them.


    Once he realized I had no intention to further insist on the subject, Lea seemed to relax and I even managed to convince him to try some of the jam.


    After I ate enough for the whole day, I said goodbye to Lea and left for the cold morning. The weather had been warmer lately and the days were getting longer, which pleased me greatly. Soon we¡¯d mostly have sunny days, no more nonstop rain and cold winds.


    Alexander followed me in silence, his hands tucked inside his coat pockets. Unlike what happened when Gabriel walked me to school, he walked beside me, shortening his pace to keep up with my much smaller one.


    We walked in silence for a few moments. Lately it seemed as if only unpleasant things happened or were said every time we were together. And, although I didn¡¯t really resent him in anyway, the mood around us had become kind of awkward.


    ¡°Your wrist. Does it still hurt?¡± he finally asked, half hiding inside his coat, and I automatically pulled my sleeve down, asking myself when I¡¯d forgotten about that. I¡¯d noticed it the day before, the bruises around my wrist in the shape of his strong fingers, from the time he¡¯d brutally dragged me to the kitchen.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± I replied. Above all, I didn¡¯t want those stupid marks to become another point of conflict with Gabriel if he found out. ¡°They¡¯ll be gone in just a few days.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It was never my intention.¡±


    I looked up at him and shrugged, smiling at his sorrowful tone.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, really.¡±


    And we were silent again. I hugged my books, turning my thoughts away from the real reason for that absence of words, and wondered if he would allow me to get to school without saying what he obviously had to tell me. Finally he sighed and I knew the moment had come.


    ¡°You have to ask him to leave,¡± he simply told me, as if he were certain without a doubt that I knew what he was talking about, and I faced him with that same certainty.


    ¡°I can¡¯t and I won¡¯t.¡±


    He looked taken aback by my unwavering, almost unthinking, answer and seemed to need some time to regain his composure.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°What do you mean, you can¡¯t? Why would you want him to stay?¡± he asked, sounding slightly annoyed, and I faced his dark-blood gaze.


    ¡°I need him.¡±


    ¡°Need him! What kind of justification is that? As long as we stay here, we¡¯re all in danger. You¡¯re no exception!¡± he argued, trying as hard as he could to change my mind, but I simply shrugged.


    ¡°Honestly? I don¡¯t care.¡±


    He stared at me, wordless again, almost shocked with my straightforwardness, and then his expression was one of tense, hardly contained fury.


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know what you¡¯re talking about!¡± he reproached me. ¡°You think this is all a game?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. To tell you the truth, I already know all about your arguments. I overheard your talk yesterday,¡± I confessed and he was silenced once again. ¡°I understand and agree with all of them. In my mind I know you¡¯re completely right and I can easily foresee all the possible horrible scenarios that may result of my selfish request. But, even so, even knowing all this, I can¡¯t send him away,¡± I added wholeheartedly, feeling relieved as I was sure that that was my real will.


    ¡°This is insane!¡±


    ¡°You may think as you wish. However, I¡¯ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Until now all I¡¯ve done was try to survive in the middle of the chaos that has taken over my life. And yet, when you left, it was as if I stopped existing all together. You think I didn¡¯t fight with all my strength against the idea of needing him like this? But there¡¯s nothing I can do. And, for once in my life, I decided to be selfish. If I have to die for it, then I¡¯ll die.¡± I recognized on his face the exasperation that had marked his words the night before.


    ¡°Mariane, you¡¯re a Gaalgha with no Guardian, but Izrail is a Deiwos. Worse, a Shedim. He can never take that place,¡± he insisted, sounding calmer now, and I smiled at him.


    ¡°You really think that that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing? Using him as a substitute?¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Honestly? I don¡¯t know. I guess I don¡¯t want to know. It¡¯s like I said, I don¡¯t care. Whichever the way, the final result is the same. I¡¯m not doing all this on a whim.¡±


    ¡°If you heard our talk, you know what I told him. And although he denies it, no matter how much he refuses to acknowledge it, the truth is that Izrail has developed feelings for you. And that¡¯s something that should never be.¡±


    My heart jumped at that. Since Steph¡¯s visit I¡¯d been trying very hard to avoid that subject. Right there and then I decided that I wouldn¡¯t allow it to affect me, and kept my confident, tranquil tone.


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Why not!¡± he repeated in disbelief and frowned as he searched for an adequate answer. ¡°Because he is what he is. And beings like him aren¡¯t created to have human feelings.¡±


    ¡°Spoken as a true Merifri, I suppose,¡± I mocked and he grew suddenly very quiet. ¡°From what I understand, Merifri aren¡¯t allowed to have feelings either, right? Or you wouldn¡¯t be here right now.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s completely different!¡± he countered, struggling for arguments that would support his claim. ¡°The feelings that Guardians develop for their Gaalgha come from an attraction between Souls. Because, in the end, a Gaalgha is much like a Merifri, but one that chose a different path. Both Souls shine the same way! However, a Gaalgha is also Human. And the freedom you possess is enticing to say the least. It¡¯s almost like you¡¯re bright, precious stones scattered amongst piles of dark coal. You are immensely persistent when facing adversities, but your purity of thought and feeling makes you extremely frail. The bond forged between a Gaalgha and his Guardian is forged for life. And although a Human life may look short from the point of view of a Merifri, the truth is that once in the Human world, time seems to slow down and everything¡¯s different.¡± It was easy enough to see that he was no longer talking about me, but from his own personal experience. ¡°But, a Deiwos? Deiwos do not establish bonds, they make Contracts! They cannot give, they can only take! These are completely opposite natures.¡±


    ¡°And I don¡¯t know how to disagree,¡± I said, unwavering. ¡°But what about you? What are you? If it¡¯s like you say, what are you doing staying next to Jonathan all these years? Why try to help him? Why protect him all this time when it¡¯s obvious he must be a weight. You¡¯re no longer a Merifri. Why are you still protecting him?¡±


    Alexander was quiet once again and I waited, knowing I¡¯d just touched some sore points he¡¯d much rather not have to talk about.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying I believe that Gabriel might have any kind of special feelings for me,¡± I continued. ¡°To tell you the truth, I¡¯ve been avoiding having to even think about it, because something like that would only make everything else much more complicated. I know nothing about you all, except for what you tell me. And so I cannot expect to understand what kinds of emotions someone like him is able to have. But, if he really feels something, whatever it may be, how can you say he¡¯s not suppose to feel it? No one commands their own feelings and, from what I gather, in this you¡¯re no different from us, or Mazzikin wouldn''t exist. If that¡¯s how things are, how can anyone say that this is wrong? Are not made for this, are not made for that. What kind of stupid logic is that? Iaidon are not made to love, and they all end up loving the Gaalgha they protect. Really? Either they have the ability to love or they don¡¯t! And if they have the ability to love, how can they not have been made to love?¡±


    I was embarrassingly aware that I¡¯d allowed myself to become too enthusiastic about my argument, and that Alexander was staring at me with a really strange expression, almost as if he was standing before an alien from another planet.


    I blushed, noticing we¡¯d somehow stopped, and quickly turned to resume walking. I was definitely going to be late, I thought, and took a deep breath to calm my running heart. When the school gate finally came into sight, I knew instantly I¡¯d been right. The entrance was practically deserted, all the students already in their classrooms, and so I sped up, reminding myself not to run since it would only make my sore ribs hurt even more.


    ¡°Mari? Do you have feelings for him?¡± That question, in that disconcerting tone of incredulity, almost sounded like an affirmation. My body was immediately frozen in place and my arms trembled, making me almost drop the books I was holding. ¡°Is that it? Is that why you won¡¯t let him leave?¡± he insisted, seeming to be struggling to believe his own words and, to my relief, part of me felt his questions as an attack and immediately jumped to my defense.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. You tell me. After all, you seem to know us even better than we know ourselves,¡± I replied, unable to hide the irony in my voice, but, even though I knew I had no reason to be so aggressive, anything was better than just keeping quiet.


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°Jonathan, of course,¡± I answered reflexively, but my voice didn¡¯t stop at that. ¡°Did he? Did he also love you like you still love him?¡± The blood drained from his face, making him as pale as Gabriel, his eyes burning feverishly.


    I was sorry for what I¡¯d just said the moment the words left my lips. And yet I just couldn¡¯t say what was needed to make things right again. So I just turned my back on him and hurriedly walked towards the main building, wishing that our talk had never taken place.


    ¡°He did. He did love me.¡± My heart almost stopped at the sound of his voice and, no matter how much I wished I could go on pretending I hadn¡¯t heard him, my feet wouldn¡¯t take another step. ¡°Jonathan also loved me like I loved, and still love, and will always love him.¡±


    I clenched my teeth hard and forced my feet to obey, running inside regardless of the pain. In truth I gladly welcomed it, since it made me kind of numb to all the other, much less physical pains piercing my chest.

 Chapter 23 - Part 2

    Incredibly enough, everyone seemed to notice something different about me, which was kind of strange since I¡¯d never realized that other people payed that much attention to my insignificant person. I really didn¡¯t know what to say when my friends asked me what had happened that had left me so hyped up and put me in such a good mood. But that really didn¡¯t matter. I was happy just being able to live in the world that surrounded me again.


    The one who seemed to notice it the most was Michael, as to be expected, spending our whole lunch break trying to guess the motive behind my persistent smile. He¡¯d been really worried about me these last few days, or so he told me. He even suspected I might be suffering from depression, from being left all alone after my mom and Gabriel had left, which was possibly the closest thing to the truth from a Human point of view. I felt guilty once more for having worried him unnecessarily, but, as far as I was concerned, even the most negative or painful of feelings were like magical blessings.


    We talked, we laughed, we played and shared our plans for the weekend. Once more I found myself having to refuse his invitation to meet on Saturday, using the upcoming exams as an excuse, and we promised to talk on the phone.


    The hardest thing was dissuading him from taking me home, as it has become his habit since the Easter holidays. But I just couldn¡¯t risk him seeing something that would hint towards Gabriel¡¯s return, and so I assured him that I felt great and that I had some errands to run before going back.


    At the end of the day, Alexander was waiting for me by the school gate. Once more I dreaded the waves of gossip that would arise if my classmates were to see him waiting there since he was hardly inconspicuous. His tall, lean figure, his dark-red hair and his model-like face were all too attractive to simply pass by. But he immediately assured me that no one else could see him, which, with only one glance, I knew to be true. It was still strange, though, thinking that people passed by him as if passing by a tree when I could see him so clearly.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    To my relief, he didn¡¯t say a word about our previous talk and, with a friendly smile, told me about all the interesting things he¡¯d seen in school, which made me realize he¡¯d really been watching me the whole day.


    Lea was hugging my legs as soon as we got home, making me take two steps back since he¡¯d been running to greet us. I tousled his hair like I usually did and then noticed the other boy, watching us from a distance.


    Relief and happiness washed over me when I saw him standing, awake again, but his cold, distant expression immediately reminded me of all that had happened. I felt bad knowing that I hadn¡¯t been able to help him. As far as Jonathan was concerned, he was back in hell. Still I dared give him a smile, but he didn¡¯t even flinch, remaining indifferent as if he couldn¡¯t even see me.


    And then Alexander was on the move, passing by me with his wide pace, visibly anxious to reach him. He stopped right in front of him, hesitating before raising a hand and gently placing it on Jonathan¡¯s head. I held my breath, predicting the boy¡¯s reaction to that, but, to my surprise, Jonathan didn¡¯t push him away, quite the opposite, allowing Alexander to pull him close until he had his forehead against his chest.


    ¡°They¡¯re always like that,¡± Lea informed me.


    ¡°But Jonathan ... he seemed to fear and resent him so much.¡±


    ¡°Yes. But he also knows that Sigweardiel is the only one who¡¯ll never leave him.¡±


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 23 - Part 3

    The days that followed were all relatively calm. Life had color and meaning again. And I guess I started understanding a little bit better what Gabriel had felt when he¡¯d been released from his Seal. In the end it was almost funny that he¡¯d returned to repay the favor.


    I was always busy and, even when there was nothing specific to do, I always ended up making something up. Even the most simple of tasks had a special bright glow about it and I was constantly amazed, even at the most insignificant emotions that stirred inside me. I was perfectly aware that this was something that no one else could understand or appreciate; because who else could even imagine what it felt like to feel nothing at all? And so I kept those great but small things to myself, simply thankful every time someone complemented me on my good mood.


    At home, a new routine was established.


    Alexander was responsible for taking me to and bringing me from school, watching over me the whole day. Lea and Gabriel kept taking turns between keeping watch over the house and searching for the intruder that everyone seemed to believe to have crossed the barrier. Jonathan stayed at home and, although I tried numerous times to talk with him, he didn¡¯t answer me even once, his expression empty as if he couldn¡¯t even hear me. Still, sometimes I¡¯d catch him talking to Alexander, which made me conclude that he was being selective about whom to speak to.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    The fourth day after they¡¯d returned I began noticing something else. Since I¡¯d gone back to school I rarely saw Gabriel anymore. When I woke up he¡¯d already left. When I came back from school he¡¯d just changed turns with Lea. Sometimes I¡¯d see him in a rush, after dinner, because he was never home in time to eat with us, and the brief words we exchanged in those short moments were always too scarce and too trivial. Normally, at that time, Michael would call like clockwork, every day. And, before I could put the handset down, he was already gone again under the excuse of going to check the barrier.


    Somehow his attempts to avoid me began to seriously annoy me but, when that happened, I¡¯d always tell myself I couldn¡¯t ask for anything else. I¡¯d decided not to cause trouble and tried as hard as I could to understand just how dangerous the situation my selfish request had gotten us in really was.


    However, one week later still nothing had happened and, although everyone remained on alert, it started to get harder to really believe that there was actually a threat. My Human, rational mind had already started on an alternative theory. And I¡¯d tell myself that maybe they¡¯d been wrong and no Deiwos had crossed Gabriel¡¯s barrier. Still I didn¡¯t dare question them, and merely hoped that Gabriel would eventually see it as well; that the only Deiwos in Lewisham were him, Alexander and Lea.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 23 - Part 4

    Tuesday came like any other day, with the difference being I had an English test early in the morning.


    On the way to school I adamantly forbade Alexander from talking to me, taking the chance the review some of the concepts I¡¯d been cramming for the last three days. I ignored his mocking smile, which clearly told me that only a Human Being could give that degree of importance to such an insignificant thing, and buried my head in the notes that I¡¯d so carefully compiled.


    Michael was waiting for me by the entrance and it felt good to talk to someone who could understand and share my anxiety. With an unusually awkward smile he confessed that it would be his birthday, the next day, and asked me if I¡¯d spend the afternoon with him. Before I could even question him, he explained that tomorrow was the day he¡¯d been found, two years ago, and that he and Father Jorge had adopted the date, since no one had found anything regarding his birth.


    In any other circumstances I would have refused him on the spot, and I immediately predicted the infinity of arguments that an afternoon away from home would provoke on my guests. But still, I just didn¡¯t know how to refuse. That was obviously an important date for Michael and I was truly happy that he¡¯d chosen to spend it and share it with me. I accepted his invitation without even blinking and told myself the worst that could happen was having Alexander tagging along in his invisible mode. The idea alone gave me the creeps and I immediately decided that I¡¯d be inflexible in this. I also needed my time with my friends, and my privacy. After all, there had been no incidents or any signs of any kind of danger for more than one week. Up till then I had abided by all their rules without question. The next day I¡¯d have an afternoon out!


    Like always Michael left me on my floor and wished me good luck on my test. I took a deep breath before I entered the classroom and reassured myself that there was no reason to be nervous.


    Steph was late, like always, although her motives for being late were others now. As I got in I¡¯d seen her with Mark, by the entrance, holding hands, and I was sure she had been with him up till the last minute. The teacher didn¡¯t complain or asked for an excuse. She just handed her a blank test sheet and I focused on my own exam.


    When I finished reviewing it for the second time only an hour and a half had gone by. I was rather happy with the outcome and certain that my grade would be higher than I¡¯d initially anticipated.


    I was the first to return the test and left the room with a smile on my lips, as my classmates¡¯ gazes followed me with expressions of surprise and suspicion. I went down the stairs, glad that I¡¯d finally gotten rid of that extra preoccupation, and went outside to the small area where I usually spent my lunch breaks, now completely deserted at that time of day.


    The absence of human voices made me realize I could hear birds singing and I walked towards the trees to listen from up closer. I couldn¡¯t recall ever noticing that there were birds on those trees, which was kind of the logical assumption now that I thought about it.


    I don¡¯t know for sure what happened first, my body freezing in place or my ears hearing her sweet, mellowed voice.


    ¡°I see. So it¡¯s you.¡±


    The soft, melodic sound of that voice was enough to make me tremble from head to toe and I knew, deep in my Soul, in all my cells, that I had to run away as fast as I could. The command, however, was given all too late and my legs stood exactly where they were, shaking uncontrollably. Fighting against the waves of panic that threatened to drown my brain, I raised my head towards the sound of that rich and sensual voice. And the world seemed made of gray stone when compared with her beauty that could only be surreal.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    With an almost imperceptible movement, I saw her jump from the branch where she¡¯d been sitting and her lean, pale body floated to the ground right before me, where she landed as if she were weightless.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and my heart exploded against my ears, dragging me down to that world of silence where all I could hear was the sound of my own panicking heartbeat. Along with the terror that eroded my stomach, I noticed that she was looking at me with a mix of curiosity and scorn. Her large eyes had the delicate shape of almonds and were yellow and fierce as if they belonged to a wild animal. Her hair was shiny like copper, falling down her back in large waves all the way to her waist. And she wore a simple, summer, sleeveless white dress, the hem softly caressing the perfect pale skin of her shins.


    ¡°One simple ... insignificant ... detestable ... little Human,¡± she finally said with a sigh, spitting bitterly each and every word and, in a movement too fast for me to see, she grabbed my face, her thin, hard, icy fingers digging into my skin.


    My mind screamed and something beside my body, which already hurt all over the place, threatened to break. Color and light escaped from my gaze, surrounding me with darkness, and I stopped feeling the excruciating pain of the pincers that were her fingers on my face.


    ¡°I will not allow a miserable, disgusting little thing like you to put everything at risk,¡± she declared in that enticing melodic voice, the only sound able to penetrate beyond the chaos screaming inside my head; and yet I couldn¡¯t understand a single thing she said.


    I felt something cold, hard and icy touch my forehead and the world seemed to stop. I felt like I was falling, but I couldn¡¯t feel the impact, whether the ground below me was hard or soft.


    It looked like eternities went by me before the light returned to my eyes, showing me a world of green shades, all trembling and dancing above my head. Then it was the sound, bursting into my ears in a ragged, sickening noise that distantly sounded like someone¡¯s breath. And finally, feeling returned to my body and I wished it hadn¡¯t, and I screamed in pain, although I hadn¡¯t enough air in my chest to scream. Pain, pain, pain! Pain like I¡¯d never felt before burned through my veins, through my lungs, through my heart, and I knew I was dying ... and I wished I would die! I wished I would die as soon as possible!


    The sound of my name echoed from far away and the next thing I knew, the two most scared pair of dark eyes that I¡¯d ever seen were looking down at me. There were smears of blood on his face, shinning bright red in my distorted vision, and then the green was back, and I was alone, and still painfully alive.


    Hands touched me and picked me up, and I screamed even more, but my mouth was too busy with gathering enough air to utter a single sound. My muscles seemed to catch on fire as my body was forced to move and then I was dizzy, and sick to my stomach, until they put me down on a much softer place.


    The chaos inside me became even more destructive. Besides the spasms that already cursed through my body I began shaking again, terrified to the bottom of my being, blinking furiously as I tried to see who else was there.


    One hand held mine, that kept twitching and squirming making my fingers hurt, and I squeezed it with all my strength, feeling it firm and cold.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His velvet voice sounded bitter and hurt. And I waited for the magical effect of my name in his voice, but I still couldn¡¯t breathe and the pain didn¡¯t lessen at all. And, as my life slowly slipped away, all I could think of was how much I wanted to tell him I was okay. ¡°You¡¯ll be all right ... Rest now.¡± I wanted to cry for the pain in that beautiful voice, and another cold hand was placed on my forehead.


    The ice from his skin magically interrupted the wave of agony that was torturing me and, although I was still trembling, the burning spasms began to fade away. Bit by bit my lungs started allowing air in and a huge wave of sleep weighed over my eyes.


    I knew immediately that there was nothing I could do to resist that drowsiness. I squeezed his hand, unable to utter a single sound, and wished I could keep him there while I slept.

 Chapter 24 - Part 1

    Chapter 24


    DEO


    ¨C The Path of Daleth. The Black Brothers.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°If I could be the light that lights your way, I wouldn¡¯t wish for anything more of this finite passage over this lost world. And not even all the shadows I carry, nor all the thorns that torture me,


    would be strong enough to pull me away from my destiny.¡±


    I remember coming back to life in a warm wave of pain. My whole body hurt as if I¡¯d been a victim of some serious spanking. I groaned as I took a deep breath, and then groaned again just to make sure I¡¯d recovered my voice.


    The weight of the air around me left me immediately alert and, with some more groaning through clenched teeth and a lot of cringing, I finally managed to turn to the other side. My eyes were immediately on him, on his perfect figure, and my heart sped up in a conditioned response.


    Gabriel was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall opposite to my bed, keeping enough distance to spare me from all the annoying shaking and trembling. He had his knees bent, his long arms resting on them, and was staring inexpressibly at me, completely motionless and quiet.


    I thought that, once more, I could¡¯ve easily mistaken him for a white statue, if not for the red gleam that crossed his violet eyes, which made me considerably nervous and apprehensive. Contrary to how it might look, he was very much alive and it was with a huge amount of effort that he kept the wrath boiling inside him under control.


    I smiled weakly, since even the smallest movement sent shards of pain through my body, and breathed in making sure my voice wouldn¡¯t fail me.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I whispered, although that hadn¡¯t been my intention at all. ¡°What are you doing there, sitting on the floor?¡± I asked as lightly as I could, but he didn¡¯t move an inch, nor did he reply, making me sigh in frustration.


    Clenching my teeth hard so that my face wouldn¡¯t show another single painful expression, I pulled my quilt back and tried to sit up, angry at my shaky arms that just wouldn¡¯t obey me. I could feel his gaze on me, following my every move, and so I focused my mind on trying to minimize the situation. Even so, I was all too aware of my weakened state to even consider the possibility of being able to stand up, and so I let myself slide to the ground and looked at him with a defiant smile.


    ¡°You¡¯re quite right. This isn¡¯t half as bad,¡± I joked, even though I was trembling inside. Somehow I had the distinct feeling that this absence of reaction was a hundred times more dangerous than his explosive furies. Besides, that red gleam in his eyes made me unsure of even my own safety.


    I took a deep breath, contracting the muscles in my arms to make sure that they¡¯d obey me, and crawled on my hands and knees towards him.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    His soft but cold voice made me stop for a moment and I took the chance to recover from what felt like an immeasurable effort.


    ¡°What does it look like I''m doing?¡± I asked and, as he didn¡¯t answer, decided to crawl some more.


    The tremors came back ruthlessly, making my whole body hurt even more than it already did. But, even so, I only stopped right in front of him, sitting on my heels.


    ¡°Those eyes ... are terrible,¡± I noted between forced inspirations. His presence, even contained, was too intense and palpably threatening. ¡°Is that anger? Desire to kill someone?¡± I asked and his lips moved all so slightly, just enough to let a few words escape.


    ¡°To shred to pieces.¡±


    His voice sounded like an icy thin blade cutting through the air, making me sick. Because that was the true voice of his Soul.


    ¡°Me? Or her?¡± He was silent again, but I couldn¡¯t help noticing how hard he was clenching his hands. ¡°This was my choice,¡± I reminded him and the air around me became even heavier, making it even harder to breathe.


    ¡°Get away from me, Mari.¡± His dark whisper brought back all the irritation I¡¯d carefully been ignoring those last few days. There he was again! Trying to avoid me!


    ¡°Why? Are you going to tell me it¡¯s not safe?¡± I provoked him and saw him slightly frown.


    ¡°I¡¯m trying ... really hard ... to keep myself under control.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that why you¡¯re here?¡± I asked. I knew all too well that I should have woken up in an empty room with the certainty that he was somewhere out there, looking for my attacker.


    ¡°It¡¯s easier to keep myself under control when I¡¯m near you,¡± he said and I smiled ironically.


    ¡°Are you using me as if I were one of your Seals?¡± I asked, knowing he wouldn¡¯t answer. ¡°All right then,¡± I agreed and crawled to his side, lying on the floor beside him. Everything remotely similar to a standing position was just too painful to keep up for long and I sighed in relief when I no longer had to try and keep my body up straight. I took a peek at him, noticing that he¡¯d followed me with his gaze, and smiled. ¡°If that¡¯s how it is, I may as well stay close by, right? So that we can be sure that you won¡¯t simply explode with half the city,¡± I added jokingly, although I was quite aware of just how serious the situation really was, and he took a deep breath of defeat.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    I saw him release the strength with which he squeezed his hands and, with a slow movement that seemed to take an eternity, he placed a hand over my head. The coolness of his skin reminded me of the relief I¡¯d felt when he¡¯d touched me before, when he''d made me sleep. And I noticed that his hand was slightly shaking, recalling what he¡¯d told me about always being afraid to hurt me with his inhuman strength.


    ¡°I wish ... you would stop trembling,¡± he told me and, somehow, it sounded as if his tone had changed, and I immediately recognized that dark pain that always made me suffer as well. I placed my hand over his, his soft cold skin sending an electrical tingling sensation up my arm, and firmly kept it trapped between my head and my hand.


    Like always his touch sent my heart into a crazed race and my timpani vibrated, leaving me deaf. But still I decided I wouldn¡¯t let go of that hand, squeezing his long fingers as if that could stop him from noticing just how much I was shaking.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°When it¡¯s my fault?¡± he asked and I smiled, more at ease as that crimson glow slowly faded away. ¡°Tell me what happened.¡±


    My smile disappeared immediately. As softly as his voice had sounded, that hadn¡¯t been a request, and I rapidly calculated all the possible consequences of telling him exactly what had happened that afternoon.


    ¡°I ... don¡¯t really know for sure,¡± I answered, trying to gain some time, but, before his grave expression, I knew I had no other choice. ¡°I got out from class earlier. She was sitting on this branch.¡± As I described it, I recalled that he too, had been sitting like that the first time I¡¯d seen him after the evocation. I watched him for a split second, trying to read his expression, but he seemed as indifferent as always, and so I went on. ¡°I knew she was there even before I could see her. And when I did see her, I guess I¡¯ve never seen anyone as beautiful as her. And yet, I felt exactly what I used to feel near you, with the difference I was sure she wanted me dead. Contrary to what I first thought, she didn¡¯t find me by mistake. She was looking for me. Because, somehow, I¡¯m on her way. I think she knows that you¡¯re staying here because of me and she wanted to set you free.¡±


    His hand trembled and I noticed he was struggling to keep it carefully motionless. The muscles of his jaw tensed with the effort of containing his rage.


    ¡°Her name is Telane,¡± he said firmly and I found myself kind of shocked as I understood he knew her personally. ¡°It was after her and one of my Brothers that we left the last time.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s like you ¡­ a Shedim,¡± I pointed out and he nodded almost imperceptibly.


    ¡°Yes. She¡¯s the strongest living female of our entire caste. And she is the prize that will belong to whomever wins this war. That¡¯s why she was given the right to take part in it. As I heard it, Telane refuses to belong to a male weaker than her.¡±


    ¡°Then ... she wants to win?¡± I asked, trying to make my voice sound stronger.


    ¡°She may even want, but she certainly knows that that¡¯s impossible. And attacking you was a fatal mistake!¡± With his last statement the crimson glow returned to his eyes. I sat up all too quickly, which sent waves of pain through my entire body; my heart hammering against my chest, the air around me charged and crackling.


    ¡°I¡¯m just a Human Being!¡± I reminded him, squeezing his hand with all my strength. ¡°My life is frail and short. Dying now or in forty years doesn¡¯t make all that much difference. Why must you deviate from your path because of a stupid vengeance on something that didn¡¯t even happen?¡± I asked, apprehensively, and his hand escaped from mine, leaving me with a terrible sensation of emptiness. ¡°If you must kill her, then kill her. But only because there was no other way. Because you¡¯re at war. I don¡¯t want you to do it because of me!¡± He looked away and his expression seemed even more serious.


    ¡°I can¡¯t do what you ask,¡± he replied coldly and I felt despair creep up on me. My presence, my existence, had triggered something uncontrollable and it was as if I was already losing him, as if he might disappear just like that, to never return.


    ¡°Nyx!¡± I called out to him, as if that single word had enough power to make him my prisoner and, without thinking, held his arm. My nails slid over his silky shirt, scratching him, and I looked for his eyes, too insecure to stay still. I watched as a small frown marked his forehead and, in the next instant, at a speed I couldn¡¯t follow with my eyes, cold hands grabbed my shoulders, pushing me hard against the wall.


    All I felt was the shock of my back against the hard cold surface, and the waves of pain that the movement sent throughout my entire body. I immediately forced myself to breathe, trying to keep his face in focus, feeling dizzy and queasy. I ignored the claws that were his fingers, completely covering my shoulders, and pressed my lips together to silence a painful groan.


    ¡°What the hell do you want from me!¡± he shouted at me, making me cringe before his fury. ¡°And what difference does it make how or why I kill her? Can¡¯t you see that there¡¯s nothing else I can do? Because this should have never happened! Because I told you that you¡¯d be safe!¡± His anger and frustration made me shake. Refusing to admit that I couldn¡¯t do it, I raised a hand and placed it aganist his face. The electric charge that crossed my palm made me sick to the stomach, but still I refused to move it. I responded to his sudden expression of disbelief with a smile, and parted my lips to give way to my thoughts.


    ¡°I just want you to act according to your own nature,¡± I murmured, ¡°and small, insignificant feelings as revenge are way below you.¡± His hands lost their strength, ending up releasing me. My arm too lost the necessary strength to keep that contact, and I took a deep breath. ¡°Nyx. I¡¯m here, aren¡¯t I? The past is in the past, even it¡¯s five minutes ago.¡± He lowered his head, looking suddenly too tired and I went on, not wanting to lose the small control I had gained over him. ¡°If you go into battle the way you are now, because all you want is revenge, how will you be able to control yourself? You¡¯ll end up hurting those you do not wish to hurt. Think about Lea.¡± I thought I saw him shudder. Just as I¡¯d thought Lea¡¯s life was too precious for him to even admit the possibility of putting him in danger like that.


    ¡°I know that ... very well.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s why you¡¯re still here,¡± I added and he took a deep breath, seeming calmer again.


    ¡°You need to rest,¡± he told me and I watched as he stood up, his movements ever so graceful, towering over me like a lean, imposing dark shadow.


    ¡°What about you?¡± I asked, knowing he was about to leave, and his gaze fell on mine, leaving me more reassured since that red glow was completely gone.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry. I¡¯m not going anywhere,¡± he told me, walking to the door.


    ¡°Nyx! Swear!¡± I demanded, unable to feel at ease, and he stopped for a moment.


    ¡°What for? It¡¯s not like my word is worth anything.¡±


    ¡°But it does! It does to me!¡± I insisted and I watched as his hand went to the door handle.


    ¡°I swear,¡± he simply told me and left without turning back one single time.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 24 - Part 2

    I woke up the following day to the immediate realization that I would have to be really careful with the way I moved. I felt around my body, trying to ascertain the most critical areas, and came to the depressing conclusion that the effects of what had happened the day before would accompany me for the next few days.


    I got dressed, wincing and groaning here and there, and the necessary time needed to effectively comb my hair was an absolute torture to my aching arms. I went downstairs, grabbing hold of the handrail with both hands, and stopped in the corridor when I heard voices coming from the kitchen.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I told you we should leave! And she was crying, Izrail,¡± I heard Alexander¡¯s voice and was immediately on the move. I hated the idea of him using me as a pretext to pressure Gabriel to leave!


    I raised my head as I entered the kitchen, and managed a smile for good measure, absolutely determined to have things my own way.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, Alexander. Thank you for worrying,¡± I told him in what I hoped would sound like a threatening tone, and Lea jumped from his chair running towards me.


    ¡°Morning, Mari!¡± he greeted me as cheerfully as always and I noticed Gabriel¡¯s tired expression, leaning against the far side of the wall in the back, his arms folded over his chest.


    ¡°Why are you up so early?¡± Alexander asked me, sounding honestly worried, but our points of disagreement made my voice sound harsher than normal.


    ¡°It¡¯s morning, isn¡¯t it?¡± I asked and smiled at Lea, who, under the disguise of his childish smile, was watching me intently. ¡°Morning, Lea.¡±


    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± he asked and I tousled his hair.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I repeated and took a deep breath before the doubtful expressions I received. Only Jonathan had remained indifferent, his opened eyes unable to see the world around him. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me you¡¯d rather I told you that I was about to die!¡± I joked and went to the fridge, masking a wince of pain brought on by the effort of opening it by sticking my head in it. ¡°What do you want for breakfast?¡±


    ¡°Mari! We¡¯re not joking! It¡¯s not any Human who¡¯s able to survive a Shedim attack. Any other would have certainly died!¡± Alexander insisted, which made me give up all hope of changing the subject. I allowed the door to close and turned to face him.


    ¡°I understand,¡± I stated in a more serious tone. ¡°And then what? What do you want me to tell you?¡± He seemed annoyed with my answer and sat down, resting an elbow on the table and looking away.


    ¡°Since when has she had this bad temper?¡± he grumbled and Lea smiled, looking amused.


    ¡°It¡¯s hardly a matter of bad temper, Alexander,¡± I insisted. ¡°I do understand what you''re saying. I was in great danger. It¡¯s a miracle that I¡¯m alive. But then what?¡±


    ¡°So this wasn¡¯t a lesson for you at all?¡± he asked, frowning, and, although I understood that part of his insistence in the subject was due to the fact that he really worried about me, I still couldn¡¯t agree.


    ¡°If by that you mean what I think you mean, then the answer is no.¡± He sighed and I turned to Gabriel. ¡°Did you find anything?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m sorry.¡± he replied and I went back to the fridge to grab a yogurt. Although I didn¡¯t want them to notice it, the idea of that unworldly goddess walking around, looking for me, made me uneasy.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    ¡°I see. Well, since there¡¯s no time left to make anything fancy, just pick whatever you like from the fridge,¡± I told them and put my empty yogurt cup in the garbage. ¡°Alexander, will you take me to school?¡± I naturally asked and they were all dead silent for a moment, before they all started talking at the same time.


    ¡°School!¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too dangerous, Mari!¡±


    I rinsed the spoon I¡¯d used and put it back in its place.


    ¡°Yes, school! Today is Wednesday and I cannot keep missing school like this!¡± I argued and Gabriel frowned obviously displeased.


    ¡°One day more, one day less, it won¡¯t really make any difference,¡± he stated in that tone of his that didn¡¯t admit disobedience. But that had been a decision I¡¯d made, and I wasn¡¯t about to give up on it that easily.


    ¡°Today, tomorrow ... how many days until you find her?¡± I asked. ¡°How long will it take? You¡¯ve been looking for her for two weeks now, and nothing! Apparently she just comes and goes as she pleases. You can¡¯t possibly want to keep me under house arrest until that happens.¡± His expression became even scarier.


    ¡°If she hunted you once, she will hunt you again as soon as she learns you¡¯ve survived. And next time we may not be this lucky!¡± Alexander stated with a measure of despair in his voice, and I smiled at him trying to reassure him.


    ¡°There won¡¯t be a next time, right? Because now you already know that she¡¯s looking for me, and you¡¯ll be there to protect me,¡± I stated with all my conviction, but Lea seemed the only one happy with my declaration of unwavering trust. ¡°Besides, you won¡¯t have to look for her anymore. She¡¯ll come to us.¡±


    ¡°You want to play bait?¡± Gabriel asked in his cold whisper and I faced his violet gaze knowing that, ultimately, the decision had to come from him.


    ¡°I want to end this once and for all, and this is the fastest and most effective way to do it. Besides, I trust you guys,¡± I added and he looked away.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like it.¡±


    ¡°But you know I¡¯m right,¡± I concluded and he was silent for a moment.


    ¡°Izrail! You can¡¯t seriously be pondering an insanity like this!¡± Alexander voiced and I faced him wishing I could just tell him to shut up.


    ¡°I understand you¡¯re worried and I¡¯m thankful for that,¡± I told him and went on before he could argue. ¡°But you¡¯ll have to tie me up somewhere if you want to keep me at home. Above all, before you agree or not with my options, this is my life!¡± I declared and he averted his gaze, giving up on what he was about to say, annoyed at what he¡¯d just heard. ¡°And, since it belongs to me, I¡¯m choosing to place it in your hands.¡± I added and his foul mood seemed to lighten up a bit.


    ¡°If she does appear, we act immediately. I want everything over as soon as possible.¡± Gabriel commanded, emitting the authorization I¡¯d been waiting for.


    ¡°How do you want to do it?¡± Alexander asked in a defeated tone, trying to pretend he didn¡¯t care either way, and I focused on his answer.


    ¡°The usual.¡±


    ¡°Portals?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I think that will be the best way, since I can¡¯t be there or she¡¯ll never show up.¡±


    ¡°But, as soon as she realizes that Mari is alive, she¡¯ll be suspicious,¡± Lea argued in that grown-up tone.


    ¡°I doubt she¡¯ll be able to think that far,¡± Alexander said. ¡°Even if she¡¯s aware of the Contract between Mari and Izrail, the possibility of any other kind of connection will never even cross her mind. She probably thinks that she¡¯s doing you a favor.¡± He turned to Gabriel, and I couldn¡¯t avoid noticing how his white hands clenched into tight fists in his constant struggle for self-control.


    ¡°Still, I don¡¯t understand,¡± Lea confessed, musing out loud. ¡°If she wants to win the war so she doesn¡¯t have to belong to anyone, why did she attack Mari instead of you, Master?¡±


    ¡°Telane is not that simple or linear,¡± Gabriel answered in his icy whisper. ¡°I¡¯m sure she has some kind of plan.¡±


    ¡°I agree. I¡¯m sure she¡¯s smart enough to know she¡¯ll never have any real chances to actually win the war.¡±


    I sighed and carefully stretched my aching body.


    ¡°If that¡¯s all, let¡¯s go. I don¡¯t want to be late,¡± I said with a relaxed tone.


    ¡°Fine, let¡¯s go then,¡± Alexander grumbled, standing up, still obviously against it, and, to my surprise, Jonathan reacted to his movement, quickly grabbing hold of his sleeve. It was the first time I saw him move since I got in the kitchen. Alexander gave him a gentle smile, hardly disguising the pain in his eyes, and placed a reassuring hand on the boy¡¯s head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll call for you if needed,¡± he murmured softly and Jonathan released him without a word.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 24 - Part 3

    ¡°Mari, are you sure?¡±


    ¡°Of course. Nothing bad will happen,¡± I stated in my most convincing tone as I walked to school next to an annoyed Alexander. The morning wasn¡¯t as cold as the day before, I noticed happily.


    ¡°You¡¯re pretending to be something you¡¯re not,¡± he openly declared. ¡°The truth is that you do have doubts, and that you¡¯re scared.¡±


    ¡°I trust you.¡±


    ¡°Even so, you know I was watching over you yesterday, and I couldn¡¯t stop what happened,¡± he reminded me with a bitter tone and I recalled his panicking expression when he¡¯d leaned over me. His face had been smeared with blood, but since there were no traces of an injury anywhere, I¡¯d completely forgotten about it.


    ¡°Yesterday ... it was all too fast. Today it will be different,¡± I guaranteed.


    ¡°I understand why you¡¯re doing this. I guess you do too. But please don¡¯t place yourself in any unnecessary danger. Losing you, right now, would be a complete disaster. No one would be able to control the chaos that would engulf this city.¡±


    I didn¡¯t answer, although I was quite aware that what he¡¯d said was true. Last night I¡¯d seen it firsthand and understood the delicate balance that was required of me. On one hand, I couldn¡¯t be daring to the point of risking my safety. But, on the other hand, if I just cringed in fear, hiding somewhere, it would prove that I wasn¡¯t able to deal with this situation without falling apart.


    As soon as I saw the school gate at the end of the road my heart jumped anxiously. To my relief Michael was waiting by the entrance, waving at me with an especially bright smile. Not surprisingly, Alexander disappeared immediately within a soft rain of black feathers, reminding me of his deep and unjustified intolerance to Michael¡¯s presence.


    Bewildered, I had to recognize that seeing Michael was enough to cut my anxiety in half, and I went to him with a feeling of relief. It took me a while to notice the small, blue motorcycle he was leaning against, and I immediately understood the reason behind his proud look and radiating happiness.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°Wow!¡± I exclaimed, reflecting his happiness, and he stepped out of my way so that I could see it better.


    ¡°You like it?¡±


    ¡°Of course! It¡¯s amazing!¡± I raved, although I didn¡¯t know all that much about bikes, and Michael shrugged unable to stop smiling.


    ¡°To tell you the truth, it¡¯s not all that special. It¡¯s secondhand and it already has a few years on its back. But she runs well and, best of all, doesn¡¯t consume much,¡± he declared and I nodded, touching the black leather seat.


    ¡°It¡¯s great! Was it Father Jorge?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s my birthday present. I really didn¡¯t expect anything like this. It¡¯s the first time I have something really mine!¡±


    I felt as if my heart had just stopped. With all the things going on I had completely forgotten what he¡¯d told me the day before, and what we¡¯d arranged for that afternoon.


    I made myself smile and blushed up to my ears.


    ¡°I have nothing to give you,¡± I confessed, feeling guilty, and he placed a warm hand on my head smiling gently.


    ¡°Having you here, with me, it¡¯s all I can wish for,¡± he told me and immediately went on so that there wouldn¡¯t be time for any kind of awkwardness. ¡°When I called you yesterday and you didn¡¯t pick up, I was really worried. But then I thought maybe you¡¯d gone to sleep earlier. So, when I saw you coming up the street today, I was really happy. I had already decided that I¡¯d go knocking on your door if you didn¡¯t show up.¡±


    I felt embarrassed and the warmth of his hand was enough to make my heart beat faster.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I was really tired yesterday,¡± I excused myself and he nodded.


    ¡°What do you say if we take her for a ride after school?¡± he asked, his expression coming alight. ¡°I want you to be the first to try her out.¡±


    I¡¯d already agreed to spend the afternoon with him the previous day and, right there and then, I just couldn¡¯t bring myself to disappoint him. I told myself that, with some luck, nothing strange would happen that day and, if a Deiwos did really attacked, that everything would be over quickly enough to allow me to be able to go back to my everyday life.


    ¡°Okay then,¡± I accepted and his delighted smile made me extremely happy. ¡°And we have to get some cake! Celebrating birthdays without cake is absolutely forbidden! I¡¯m sure Father Jorge will also like some,¡± I added, trying to persuade him faster, and Michael held my hand, kissing it on an impulse.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± My cheeks caught on fire and I felt even more embarrassed knowing he could clearly see me blush.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 21 - Part 4

    As soon as I left Michael¡¯s company, my levels of stress shot through the roof. I spent the whole morning in an extreme state of alert, jumping at any unexpected sound, looking for evil shadows in every corner, or crazy beautiful faces in the crowd. As it was, I could hardly concentrate on classes and my ears just couldn¡¯t seem to focus on my classmates¡¯ voices.


    As if not to disappoint my expectations, we were halfway through Philosophy when something suddenly changed.


    I jumped to my feet, my heart hammering against my chest, and looked around as fear nestled in my stomach. Contrary to what I¡¯d expected, her presence wasn¡¯t subtle at all, echoing through the walls, filling the air all around me. The fury that marked it was simply terrifying and the world seemed to almost bend under it, shrinking as if it could break at any moment.


    ¡°Miss Mellis? Is something wrong?¡±


    At the back of my head I knew the teacher had just spoken to me and that I must look like a crazy person, standing just like that in the middle of class. My hands were shaking now and I left my seat running to the door.


    ¡°Bathroom,¡± I said quietly without even pausing to wait for an answer and stumbled into the hall, closing the door behind me.


    The blast that echoed through the walls making the air vibrate stole my strength and I almost fell to my knees. I stopped for a minute, trying to regain control, and peered through the door¡¯s small window, afraid of what I might find inside. But class was going on as if nothing had happened. Hadn¡¯t anyone else heard that deafening sound? The teacher was still talking and everyone was calmly sitting in their places.


    Another blast made me hold on to the wall and my eyes flew down the corridor. Even if no one else had noticed it, I was sure something really wrong was happening.


    I went for the stairs as fast as I could, clenching my teeth as I made my sore muscles obey me in such a strenuous run, holding on to anything my hands could reach, afraid I might fall. The murderous presence I had first felt was now mixed with others that I knew all too well, and my stomach twisted anxiously as I prayed that they¡¯d be safe.


    I stopped when I reached the hallway that lead outside and leaned against the wall, trying to recover my breath. Pain was a constant now, pounding throughout my entire body, and each breath I took was like a living hell. My gaze fell immediately on the glass door at the end of the corridor and I shuddered, knowing what I¡¯d find outside. Even so, my feet were already on the move as I dragged myself across the short distance that, on any other day, I would have covered in just a few seconds.


    Placing my hands on the cold glass, I looked outside and I could immediately see Alexander, his expression bleak, with Jonathan standing right beside him. His eyes were fixed and burning with a fierce glow and I couldn¡¯t help gasp as I looked at the target of his undivided attention.


    Telane stood not two steps away and yet she kept her back to them, almost as if she didn¡¯t know they were there, or if she thought them inconsequential. She was, as I recalled, more beautiful than humanly possible, her red copper hair tied up in a single ponytail, the soft waves cascading over her shoulders and down her delicate back that the white dress she wore left uncovered. Much shorter than her previous dress, this one seemed to only cover the minimum to be considered a piece of clothing, molding itself against her perfect body, around her round, firm chest and long lean tights. The skin of her bare arms and legs was as white and perfect as Gabriel¡¯s, and she stood barefoot just like before, as if summer had already come. Her expression, however, was one of pure rage and her golden gaze burned with a red, fierce glow.


    And then there was Gabriel, standing like a shadow, right in front of her. At first I feared his expression, even after noticing he looked his usual indifferent self. Over the last few days I¡¯d come to realize that he was rarely ever indifferent, and that that was just his way of keeping a better control over his own strength. However, right then, he did seem calm, almost relaxed, his opened hands pending beside his body. And, at his feet, nestled a small dark bundle that I immediately recognized as Lea in his cat form, his black fur standing as he hissed threateningly at the beautiful woman in front of him.


    ¡°Why are you here, tied up to an insignificant Human?¡±


    I forgot to breathe as her melodic voice filled the air, reaching me as if I too was standing right next to them.


    ¡°That is none of your business.¡±


    ¡°I need you outside! Winning this war!¡± she commanded, raising her voice, making the glass vibrate, but Gabriel¡¯s expression remained calm and I noticed that not even his eyes had changed color, and that he kept them black like he used to do when he wanted to pass for a Human.


    ¡°I have nothing to do with this war,¡± he replied and she seemed even more enraged at his lack of reaction.


    ¡°What do you mean, you have nothing to do with it? What are you going to do? Stay here and wait for them to come and destroy you?¡±


    ¡°One thing at a time. I¡¯ll deal with that when the time comes.¡±


    Telane clenched her hands into two tight fists and her entire body shuddered.


    ¡°No!¡± she screamed, making the world around us tremble, and I had to hold onto the wall beside me to keep myself from falling. ¡°If it¡¯s death you want, then I¡¯ll gladly give it to you freely!¡± she stated, her unrestrained anger filling the air, her eyes burning like molten lava, and Gabriel slightly lowered his gaze.


    ¡°You¡¯ll die before that,¡± he whispered, between a warning and a threat, but Telane was already beyond being able to hear a single word he said.


    With a screeching scream that made me cover my ears, two huge black wings sprang from her white back. The blast was even bigger, almost as if someone was hitting the ground, the buildings, the air with a gigantic hammer. The glass from the door shattered into a million pieces and I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming, crouching against the wall and covering my head to protect my face from the sharp shiny rain. The air around me stirred, making me unable to breathe, and the biting, cold wind that pulled my hair and clothes made me remember the chaos that had filled my room when I¡¯d freed Gabriel from his prison.


    I made myself raise my head to see what was happening, and saw that Alexander was standing protectively in front of Jonathan. The wind, however, didn¡¯t seem to touch a single hair on the boy¡¯s head, although Alexander was clearly having difficulties standing his ground.


    A new blast made me cringe and I noticed that, for a brief second, something glowed around the area where they were standing. A wince of pain crossed Alexander¡¯s face, which seemed intently focused on something, and Jonathan clenched his hands, reminding me of the connection they shared.


    ¡°What¡¯s this! Change your form! Fight me face to face!¡± Telane¡¯s furious voice demanded as she jumped forward like a wild animal, two short curve daggers held tightly in her hands, and I watched as Gabriel took a step back, defending her attack with an incredibly fast but apparently simple movement. He had made his crescent moon spear appear and he swiftly placed it in Telane¡¯s way, easily thwarting her attacks, although I could hardly see her at the speed she was moving. She seemed like a ghost, appearing and disappearing from thin air, her lean body precise and perfect as there was no wasted energy in any of her moves. But still Gabriel seemed to accompany her easily, following her graceful movements with his eyes and moving only in the last split of a second, but with enough time to tranquilly defend himself.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need to change my form to defeat you,¡± he said with that smug smile of his that really irked me, and Telane seemed to share my feelings exactly.


    Jumping back, which sent her flying a few feet up in the air, she gracefully landed on the green grass, pulling herself up, the daggers disappearing from her hands in two flickering flames. Hatred marked her perfect face as she stared at her opponent. And then she joined her hands together, in front of her chest, and the air shrieked leaving me deaf, as a lightning bolt jumped from her pale fingers and tore the air at the speed of light, directed at Gabriel¡¯s chest. At the last instant a small black shadow jumped, rolling over itself in midair and the lightning bolt crashed against an invisible wall that slightly glowed, making another blast.


    Telane¡¯s gaze was pure fury when she looked down at the small cat as he nimbly landed on the ground, but before she could exert her vengeance Gabriel was on the move and at a speed that made me shudder. She was almost too late in defending his attack, the daggers back in her hands, and she had yet to recover when he suddenly appeared from her other side into another flash attack. The blasts were constant now, but I was too dumbfounded to react, squeezing my hands together, trying to keep my heart from jumping out of my mouth. That was the real him, I thought ... and I was afraid again.


    In a desperate jump for not being able to keep him away, Telane rose in the air, making use of her huge dark wings, and, with a cold, murderous smile, whispered something I couldn¡¯t understand.


    ¡°Telane! What are you doing!¡± Listening to Gabriel raise his voice above the constant roar of the wind made me gasp. He rarely raised his voice and he sounded furious now. Telane, however, didn¡¯t even answer and then she was gone in a thin shower of small, bright red glitter. ¡°Suileabhan!¡± The urgency in his voice filled the air and then the small cat was gone as well.


    The unexpected absence of that terrifying presence plunged the world into a sudden silence, and a sigh of relief left my lips even though I was still shaking. At least until I noticed that something wasn¡¯t quite right.


    Gabriel hadn¡¯t moved an inch, watching the ground with a dark expression, his long spear tightly held in one hand, and Alexander seemed equally distressed.


    ¡°Sigweardiel, raise him up.¡± His voice, even though back to that velvet murmur, sounded tense and annoyed. Alexander, on the other hand, didn¡¯t even argue and, before my incredulous eyes, I saw Jonathan float into midair, just standing there, about seven feet from the ground.


    The boy walked over an invisible floor and placed his hands on an invisible wall looking down with a worried expression, and I finally understood that an invisible barrier had been surrounding and protecting him all this time, keeping him safe.


    Still feeling dizzy it took me some time to gather that the ground was shaking, and, to my terror, circles of darkness spread all over the place. I immediately recognized that dark substance that seemed almost elastic, and knew that those circles were, in truth, gateways to another dimension.


    Gabriel pointed his spear to the closest hole, waiting, his body suddenly tense, and Alexander made his bright sword appear.


    And everything was silent.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The shrieking that filled the air moments later made me cover my ears again, unable to tell what I was seeing, or if I was seeing at all. Huge, dark forms jumped out of the circles in an absence of color or shape. They landed on the ground as if they were giant dogs, or lions, or anything that walked on four legs, and sped into a blur, jumping at Gabriel and Alexander. Their sharp shrieks almost made my heart stop, freezing the blood in my veins, and droplets of sweat slid down my face. I watched as they wielded their weapons, cutting the black creatures with apparent ease, but, although the defeated creatures did disappear, for every one that vanished into thin air, three others would instantly jump from the circles and take their places.


    Jonathan fell on his knees on the invisible floor where he stood, his body folding over itself as he clutched at his chest in pain and, for a moment, I could see Alexander, surrounded by numerous dark creatures, gasping for air, vicious, bloody cuts marking his entire body.


    My panicking gaze immediately searched for Gabriel, my heart hurting with every new beat, until I found him, although I could hardly see him, the creatures surrounding him showing me only a few fleeting glimpses of his pale skin. He was moving too fast again, appearing and disappearing from place to place and, every time he did, new creatures would shriek and disappear, falling on the ground in dark piles of dust. Still, anxiety kept eating me from the inside out, and I was so absorbed in trying to catch a glimpse of him as much as possible, that I didn¡¯t even notice the danger I was in before it was too late to escape it.


    The black shadow that rose in front of me was four times taller than me, even if I were standing. I couldn¡¯t see much of the shapeless creature, except for a pair of bright red eyes and an enormous row of absurd white teeth, sharp as daggers. Powerless, the only thing I could do was scream and wait for the pain that would certainly follow.


    The screech that filled the air hurt my ears and the blast made me dizzy, as I fell forward, placing my hands in front of me just in time to avoid hitting the ground. Not knowing exactly how, I was still breathing, and the ferocious shadow was gone, a pile of dark dust covering the shattered glass where it had stood. And then a glow captured my gaze, and I had to blink twice to understand what I was seeing, as a circle of black flames stretched across the floor, consuming all the shadows in its path. The blast that made the walls vibrate was even stronger than before, and I saw Alexander stumble forward as the shadows around him were also consumed by the flames. His lips moved silently as he seemed to whisper something. Invisible walls all around the area glowed slightly, and I understood that there were more barriers besides the one around Jonathan, and that he was the one keeping them in place. As I watched, I saw his wounds close like magic, as if they¡¯d never even existed, and Jonathan¡¯s expression of pain, prisoner in that invisible cage, left a lump in my throat.


    ¡°Mariane!¡±


    My name in his voice made me look away immediately and my eyes found him without even thinking. A single drop of blood dripped from his forehead, but his garnet silk shirt was torn in more places than I could tell, allowing me to see that his pale skin hadn¡¯t been left unscathed. I watched as he raised one hand, silently calling me to his side, and yet I couldn¡¯t help recoil in fear, his crimson gaze looking even more frightening than before. Because now I really knew what he was capable of. And it wasn¡¯t as if I hadn¡¯t known before, but seeing it in person changed everything.


    That same sharp sound filled the air, making me shudder, and I saw that the black gateways were still there, which meant that more of those things were about to appear. I panicked, imagining having to face one of those creatures again, and tried hard to push the fear away and the darkness that threatened to engulf me. From the corner of my eye I saw Alexander pull himself up, holding his bright sword, ready for what would surely follow, and I felt sorry for Jonathan, for the pain he was suffering, and wished everything could just be over right that instant!


    My eyes searched for him again, afraid for my sanity, afraid for his safety, and I saw that his hand kept that silent invitation, his burning eyes fixed on me. I wished he¡¯d just come and get me, trampling over my will as he usually did, but knew instantly that he would never do it. He¡¯d keep away, protecting me from a distance if need be, just like he¡¯d done before, even if that meant constantly assaulting Alexander¡¯s barrier, for fear that imposing his presence would leave me in a worse state than that I was already in.


    I bit my lip and forced my aching body to move, rising from that sea of broken glass, ignoring the burning pain of my cut hands. That barrier was protecting the entire school! And my classmates and teachers were inside it! Michael, Steph, Joanne and Kevin, and the others were inside it! And I couldn¡¯t allow anything to happen to them because of my cowardice. My legs shook as I leaned against the wall, refusing to acknowledge the slightest feeling of insecurity, and I set my eyes on him, on his hand that waited for me. My darkest voice told me that I¡¯d probably never reach him, even if I tried. That those dark shadows would be on top of me even before I could get halfway. That I¡¯d probably fall anyway. I ignored it the same way I had ignored Alexander¡¯s warnings, and stood up straight, letting go of my only support. Gabriel was there ... and he was waiting ... and he would pick me up even if I fell. And so I ran.


    Pain burned through my legs, and through my chest, exploding in my head, and yet I refused to close my eyes. All I could see was him, his hand, and I refused to think or feel anything else. I stumbled and my knees buckled and yet I pressed forward, clenching my teeth, pressing my nails against the cuts on my palms. All I had to do was run ... and so I ran, and didn¡¯t stop until I suddenly clashed against something hard and cold that would have me falling on my back, if not for the arm that immediately surrounded me, keeping me in place. My labored breath echoed around us as I gasped for air, desperately holding on to his shirt, my legs too shaky to keep me standing, and then his voice pierced through my brain, silencing everything else.


    ¡°Hush ... you¡¯re safe now,¡± his whisper would have made me cry, if I only could, and I squeezed the silky fabric of his shirt, telling myself I would never let go of it again.


    The screeching sound made me cringe against his body, a groan of terror escaping my dried throat, and his cold hand covered my head, slightly trembling, as if he wanted to assure me that he would protect me.


    I felt him move and looked up at his beautiful face in fear. I couldn¡¯t stop shaking, and my heart was drumming against my ears, but although I was clearly aware of the danger we were in, I suddenly and irrationally felt completely safe.


    Gabriel lowered his spear, pointing the crescent-moon blade towards the closest circle and his expression became stern. The blood sliding down his face was bright red over his pale skin, dripping from his chin, and I noticed other cuts hidden under his shredded shirt.


    And then more dark shadows jumped from the black gateways and, in a single swing, he cut two in half. The arm holding the spear moved quickly to the other side, piercing through another one. The speed of his movements was such I could hardly follow them, and I was painfully aware of how my presence hindered him.


    ¡°Nyx!¡± I screamed, as a shadow appeared out of nowhere on his back and his spear cut the air at a high speed, so fast that I couldn¡¯t even react as it brushed my hair near my ear, before he pulled it back in the next instant after having pierced another shadow.


    I felt his body grow tenser, although the hand over my head was so light I could hardly feel it, and I saw him clench his teeth, his eyes glowing bright red. Fear coursed through my veins thick as blood and I buried my face on his chest, wishing I could become as insignificant as humanly possible.


    ¡°Mariane, I¡¯m making you disappear from here. It won¡¯t be safe anymore,¡± I heard his soft whisper and I instinctively clenched his shirt even harder, as if that were enough to keep me exactly where I was.


    ¡°No! What are you going to do?¡± I asked, panicking again, recalling our last talk. Without Lea around and with me somewhere far and safe, I was sure he would end up doing something really wrong ... and that was my school! My friends were in there!


    ¡°There¡¯s no other choice. Those portals ... can only be closed by the one who opened them. And Lea is taking too long!¡± he told me, still brandishing his spear and quickly disposing of dark shadows.


    I hugged him! And only then noticed what I¡¯d just done, my arms too small to completely envelop him, as I foolishly thought that that could only make it even harder for him to move.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care! I¡¯m not leaving you!¡± I childishly declared, even though my despair was quite real, and suddenly everything was quiet.


    A strange feeling took over my body. From afar I could still listen to the sounds of battle, but, where I now stood, everything was peaceful and quiet. I saw a small white light, almost like an overgrown firefly, fly around us in an uneven circle and the huge shadows recoiled, emitting sharp screeches as if they feared it. Gabriel too, stood very still, as he watched it with a puzzled expression. And the light stretched and grew, spinning around us nonstop, forming a bright circle. I couldn¡¯t help smile, because it was if she were playing, her amusement filling me inside and, as soon as that thought crossed my mind, she turned to us in an errant flight and hid in my hair, playing with some loose strands.


    You shouldn¡¯t be here, I thought, Go help Alexander!


    Obediently and ever restless, she jumped from my hair and split in two, the second light flashing across the air towards Alexander, making all the shadows in her path screech and crouch in terror, until she surrounded him in a circle like the one around us. I saw as he raised his head with a deep breath of relief, but then all that was left was a stunned expression of incredulity as he looked at me from where he stood.


    ¡°Mari!¡± His rough voice left me at a loss and I noticed Jonathan, still in his invisible cage, looking down at me with that same exact expression.


    ¡°Mariane?¡± My whole world turned towards that soft voice and everything else was immediately forgotten, and yet I was strangely aware that I hadn¡¯t even moved. I saw him lean over me, his perfect face filling my entire field of vision, and noticed that, somehow, I wasn¡¯t shaking anymore. The sweet scent of his skin made my heart beat faster, and yet everything around me was peaceful and I knew I didn¡¯t fear him, nor the burning gaze locked on mine. ¡°Mariane, destroy them,¡± he ordered in a whisper next to my ear, his breath surprisingly warm, and I broke out of my daze, feeling even more confused than before. I wanted to ask him what, but I couldn¡¯t move, my mouth completely sealed, the air sliding rhythmically through my lungs, refusing to go through my vocal cords.


    Destroy ...? Who? How?


    I immediately saw all the scattered shadows that surrounded us as they persisted in trying to attack us, only to be repelled by the two small jumping lights, and I knew what he meant.


    The shadows ... destroy them. I simply formed the thought in my head and, before my puzzled gaze, that inexplicable was able to see all that surrounded us at the same time, the small lights split into more, and more lights, that sped all over the place, leaving bright trails in the air, flying through the shadows that, once pierced, would shriek loudly in terror and explode into piles of dark dust.


    The gateways, close them, I commanded next, unsure if my order could be fulfilled, and those same small lights that had just pulverized dozens of shadows plunged into the black circles in ground, making them shrink over themselves until they were completely gone.


    I smiled, happy with myself, proud that even a mere Human like me had been useful, and the lights that filled the air jumped up and down echoing my happiness.


    ¡°Izrail! Wake her up! Anymore than this can be dangerous!¡± I heard Alexander¡¯s voice as he shouted from his circle of light, apparently not daring to break it, and I looked up at Gabriel, who was still looking at me with a strange expression.


    Wake me up? What¡¯s he talking about? I¡¯m obviously wide awake!


    ¡°Mariane, open your eyes. Everything¡¯s fine now,¡± he told me softly and I frowned. If I was looking at him, how could I possibly have my eyes shut? His cold fingers slid over my throat, sending electric shivers all over my body, and he leaned even closer, his soft hair brushing my cheek as he whispered in my ear. ¡°Mari, if you¡¯re going to keep up this pretense any longer, I won¡¯t answer for my actions.¡±


    His voice made my heart skip a beat and dive into a mad race. I saw the bright light around Alexander jump and, like all the others, run to us, reuniting with the one protecting us. And then, beyond what I could understand or put into words, something that had been empty inside me was filled again.


    I took a deep breath, gasping for air, and pushed him away with all my strength, my whole body burning, my heart beating too fast for me to stand it. Unexpectedly, he gave in to my frail strength and my legs shook, dropping me on my knees where I stood. I placed a hand on my chest, trying to calm down, the world still wavering around me, and raised my head to face his smug, teasing smile that made my cheeks burn even more.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± I ignored his annoying question and tried to control the tremors that were already taking over my body.


    He took a step forward and offered me his hand, just like before, his white fingers long and elegant, patiently waiting for a decision. And, anyway, it wasn¡¯t as if I was going to be able to stand up on my own, I thought, placing my hand on his.


    However, even with his help, the change in altitude made me feel dizzy again, almost stealing my consciousness away, and Gabriel held me with shaking hands, now with a worried expression on his face.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± I told him, trying to find firm ground under my feet, and he frowned.


    ¡°No, you¡¯re not.¡± And with that he scooped me up with a single gesture, making me unsure if I was still standing or not, and I held on to his shirt in search of something solid that could stop the world from spinning. ¡°You¡¯re too light! It¡¯s like I¡¯m holding Lea,¡± he complained, and I would have contested his affirmation had I not been so busy trying to keep my mind from slipping away.


    I felt his arms flex and contract so that I wouldn¡¯t feel the swinging of his already soft footsteps, and I couldn¡¯t help notice that his hands wouldn¡¯t even touch me, as if he were afraid to crumple me with the simplest of gestures, almost as if I were made of paper.

 Chapter 25 - Part 1

    Chapter 25


    MAZ


    ¨C The Vision of the Urn. The Magus 9x = 2{square x}.


    The Three Schools of Magick.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°Nothing really matters anymore ... not the world that surrounds me, not the life the inhabits me,


    not the Soul that you so long for ... I freely give it all to you ...


    everything in exchange for a few fleeting moments of pure existence.¡±


    I was dragged from my drowsiness by the sound of voices. Gabriel sounded angry and so I focused my attention, trying to understand what was going on.


    ¡°You never told me any of that!¡± he complained, but the voice that replied sounded patient and calm.


    ¡°You never asked. But what did you expect? They are only Human, after all. It¡¯s not like they possess paranormal powers or anything like that,¡± Alexander criticized. ¡°But there¡¯s no need to worry, as long as this doesn¡¯t happen every day. Her ability to recover is also above the norm,¡± he added calmly and the air became heavier.


    ¡°That¡¯s hardly the point, is it?¡±


    I sat up, holding my head, still slightly dizzy, and looked around.


    I was back in my room, although I couldn¡¯t even begin to recall how I¡¯d gotten there, and they were arguing just outside the door. I sighed, certain that the topic of discussion was, once more, me, and had to put in some extra effort to stand on my two shaky legs.


    ¡°What do you want me to say? Now you know,¡± Alexander replied and I dragged my bare feet to the door, knowing that that answer would only make him even angrier.


    The moment I opened the door I was immediately received by two stunned expressions, almost as if I stood before two misbehaved children who had been caught red-handed.


    ¡°Mari! What are you doing up so soon?¡± Alexander finally asked, walking up to me, and his warm hands gently pushed me back inside and towards the bed.


    ¡°I heard voices,¡± I told him, sitting down, unable to resist his strength. ¡°What about Jonathan? How is he?¡± I asked, his pained expression refusing to leave my mind, and Alexander gave me a soft smile that, once more, failed to reach his eyes.


    ¡°He¡¯s resting. Which is what you should be doing too!¡± he practically scolded me and I abstained from telling him that that¡¯s probably what I¡¯d be doing if they hadn¡¯t been arguing right outside my door.


    ¡°And Lea?¡±


    ¡°He came back and went out again,¡± Gabriel replied.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t find her,¡± I concluded and Alexander sighed heavily.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, Mari. It was all for nothing.¡±


    I smiled, feeling truly tired, but clearly recalling all the injuries that they had suffered.


    ¡°You were the ones having it worse. I didn¡¯t do anything much.¡±


    Alexander smiled and placed a gentle hand on my head, and I couldn¡¯t help thinking, even with all our divergences, how great it would have been, if I could have had a Guardian like him.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to see how Jonathan is doing. You get some rest, hear me?¡± I nodded obediently and watched as he left. And then there was only him, standing by the door, arms folded over his chest.


    ¡°What were you arguing about? Leaving again?¡± I asked, too tired to look for more subtle ways to express my thoughts.


    ¡°No. That isn¡¯t open for discussion.¡±


    ¡°Then?¡±


    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± he asked me and I frowned at his clear change of subject. ¡°Think you can recite a little bit of Magic?¡±


    I blinked at that. ¡°Magic?!¡± He nodded.


    ¡°I want to raise this Magic Circle,¡± he told me and my heart jumped painfully.


    ¡°The one that Seals your powers?¡± He nodded again and I hesitated for a moment.


    I¡¯d been the first to suggest it and, just like before, it was still dangerous, now maybe even more so, for him to walk around, getting into those bloody battles with part of himself locked away somewhere. But, on the other hand, getting rid of the Circle was erasing one of the small bridges that connected us. He himself had told me that he¡¯d always have to return to that house, since the Circle was there. If the Circle ceased to exist, then the only thing left binding us together would be our Contract.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    I smiled, amazed at my own selfishness and raised my head, as if doing so could help me convince him of how healthy I was.


    ¡°Sure. Piece of cake.¡±


    He nodded and, as I watched in wonder, all the things I¡¯d gathered in the past for that Magical Ritual appeared out of thin air, on the floor. The Circle reappeared, drawn in salt, and only the strange symbols of the vertices were gone. There was also the glass of water, the candle and the pile of dirt, everything exactly where I had placed them. And the heavy book at my feet was opened to the right page.


    I stood up, forbidding myself to show how that simple movement had been painful, and entered the Circle, careful not to scatter the salt that formed it. I knelt in the exact place I¡¯d been kneeling before and stopped for a moment.


    I could still clearly see the symbols coming alight and exploding. And then that darkness that had opened a doorway to a forgotten dimension. Him, floating midair, right in front of me, his white body wrapped in black satin.


    ¡°Don¡¯t stop until you reach the end,¡± I heard him say and took a deep breath.


    I looked at the book lying on the floor beside me, and immediately identified the last sentence I had read, in that strange language that no one seemed to understand. And I hesitated again. In truth, I didn¡¯t feel comfortable at all reading anything else from that book. But then, this time, I had Gabriel with me. Nothing bad would happen. I was just returning his powers and getting rid of a Magic Circle that I¡¯d thought to have disappear gone a long time ago. And so I took another deep breath and cleared my throat.


    I carefully read all the instructions and magic words, finishing the Ritual that I¡¯d never had the chance to conclude while, by the door, Gabriel muttered inaudible words under his breath. Then I went back to the page about the Protection Circles. I respectfully thanked all the four Guardians of the Elements and Cardinal Points, doing it in reverse the order in which I¡¯d evoked them. And finally I went back to the center of the Circle, placing both hands over my chest as the book instructed, to read the final words.


    ¡°The Circle has no beginning and no end; it is in eternal balance. This was a time beyond time. This was a space beyond space. Here the Dream World and the Waking World met and were one together. So it has been.¡±


    Gabriel¡¯s voice filled the air, startling me as words flowed from his lips in an intonation that made me shiver. Because if I had thought that his velvet whispers could not be disobeyed, the tone he was now using had the power to make the world bend and crumble at his feet, if he so wished it.


    ¡°Torzu comselh bli micaloz! Torzu comselh bli lonsa! Torzu chiso emetgis naneel doalim! Darbs cnoqvol gemeganza! Noaln! ¡°


    As soon as he pronounced the last word, the entire Circle started to glow and I prepared myself to see it explode again. But it didn¡¯t. This time, the golden light rose from the floor, from all around me, and kept floating up towards the ceiling, and I kind of expected it to pass through it. But, as it reached the physical barrier, the circle of light started to shrink, quickly diminishing in diameter, until it was just a small ring. A flash of white light blinded me for a second and, once the light was gone, the ring fell on the ground, as hard as any other metal ring.


    I stood still for a moment, waiting to see if anything else was about to happen, but all that was left were a bunch of scattered salt and a few strange objects that, all together, made no sense whatsoever.


    ¡°Pick it up,¡± I heard him whisper and I crouched, suspiciously touching the ring.


    It was hard, and cold like any other I had touched, and so I picked it up, turning it in my hand. As I looked closer, I noticed the thin symbols delicately inscribed on the inside of the golden band and then I finally recognized them. Those were the same symbols, the ones that had exploded when he¡¯d appeared.


    ¡°Is this the Circle?¡± I asked, still in disbelief, and he nodded. ¡°But ... wasn¡¯t it supposed to disappear after releasing your power?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t take my power back. It¡¯s all still in there,¡± he told me and I was even more confused. ¡°I¡¯d rather you have it.¡±


    It took me some time to understand what he¡¯d just said and my slow reaction seemed to amuse him.


    ¡°Me?¡± I asked, widening my already over-widened eyes, and he smiled.


    ¡°Because they don¡¯t belong to you, it will probably be difficult for you to activate them. But, in an emergency, they will activate automatically, almost like a survival instinct, and protect you,¡± he tranquilly explained and I looked down at the ring on my hand, a lump forming in my throat as the small golden band became suddenly too heavy on my palm.


    ¡°How can this be?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing big, really. The difference is that instead of being here, the Circle will be wherever you are.¡±


    And that was that, and was enough to make me happy beyond words. Because that meant that the link between us hadn¡¯t been broken. Quite the opposite! It meant that he no longer had to return to that house, but to me! Wherever I might be.


    ¡°Is this like ... forever? What if, one day, you do want them back?¡± I asked, feeling slightly guilty, but not nearly enough to refuse his offer, and Gabriel shrugged.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see to that when the time comes. Right now I¡¯ll feel much more at ease if you carry it with you, wherever you go. At least until this thing is solved.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know if ¡®this thing¡¯ was Telane roaming around free, or the war itself, but I didn¡¯t care. I told myself I should argue a bit more against that idea, but when I noticed the ring was already safely enclosed inside my hand. And I couldn¡¯t stop smiling. All that ... had been for me.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Gabriel averted his gaze, as usual uncomfortable with any clear demonstration of affection, and I had to try hard not to laugh.


    ¡°And now get some rest! I know you still haven¡¯t recovered from yesterday and you must be exhausted after today,¡± he whispered and, although I was kind of disappointed at myself for not having been able to disguise my physical condition, I was even happier to know that he worried about me.


    ¡°And you? Where are you going?¡± I reflexively asked and he seemed to struggle to find the right answer.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go check the barrier,¡± he finally told me and I found myself doubting the truth of his words. Maybe it was the fact that he was still avoiding looking at me, or maybe the brief hesitance in his voice. I didn¡¯t want him to go look for Telane on his own, which I was fairly convinced that was exactly what he¡¯d do as soon as he left my room.


    * If you want to  know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit  the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 25 - Part 2

    ¡°Take me with you,¡± I offered firmly, and his surprised expression almost ruined my serious request. Being able to provoke those kinds of reactions on his stone-like face was something truly amazing.


    ¡°What?¡± he asked, even lower than usual, and I raised my head as if that could grant extra strength to my words.


    ¡°Take me with you!¡± I repeated and, before he could refuse, went on. ¡°You¡¯re always talking about that barrier of yours. I want to see it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re tired. Another time.¡±


    ¡°I can rest afterwards,¡± I insisted. ¡°You won¡¯t be letting me go to school tomorrow anyway,¡± I guessed and knew that, even if he did, I wouldn¡¯t be in any condition to survive the day. He didn¡¯t deny it and I faced him firmly, aware of the influence my will had over his actions. ¡°I want to go with you!¡±


    He seemed to consider it for a moment.


    ¡°You¡¯ll have to bear my proximity until we get there.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a problem,¡± I quickly answered.


    ¡°And you¡¯ll probably feel sick,¡± he warned me and I smiled since I could already see that I¡¯d won. He sighed and stretched out his hand in a silent invitation.


    I hurriedly put on my boots and grabbed the coat left over the chair. I tucked the golden ring in a pocket, since it was too big to fit any of my fingers, and went to accept his invitation. My body was trembling even before I could reach him, my heart beating too fast, but none of that was enough to make me hesitate, not even for a second. His arm surrounded my shoulders, practically without touching me, and yet pulling me close enough that I could feel his sweet scent.


    ¡°It will be quick. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.¡± I obeyed and the vertiginous sensation that came over me made me hold on to him, in search of something solid that would push away that feeling of an endless fall. However, in the next second, the ground below my feet was solid again, and the cold wind that brushed against my cheeks helped me refocus my mind. ¡°We¡¯re here.¡±


    I opened my eyes and the first thing I noticed were my fingers, securely holding on to his new shirt, clenching it with all their might. I blushed and released him immediately, and Gabriel stepped back, enough to help me stop trembling.


    The wind blew again, making me shiver, and I looked around. To my surprise we were in a considerably wide terrace. The floor was covered in what once had been white tiles, now stained gray in many areas from the consecutive days under the weather. In the center was a rusty door, undoubtedly leading to some stairs and to the inside of the building.


    I carefully walked over to the edge and peered down, stepping backwards the next second. Too high, I thought, especially taking into account the amount of vertigo and dizziness I had suffered that day.


    And then it hit me, how we¡¯d gotten there. And I turned towards him in disbelief, only to find him staring silently at me, as if I were some kind of strange animal, which made me quite uncomfortable.


    ¡°Did you make us appear here?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Here it¡¯s still considerably far from your house,¡± he told me and looked at the mass of buildings we could see from there, mixed with some smaller green areas.


    ¡°But we¡¯re still in Lewisham,¡± I guessed and Gabriel nodded. ¡°And the barrier?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s all around us, passing far from here. You can say that here is the center of the area it protects. We¡¯ll probably be able to see it soon.¡± He looked up to the sky. The sun was setting and it wouldn¡¯t be long until it was dark. ¡°Are you hungry?¡± he asked me and I followed his white finger pointing towards a plastic bag, resting on the small ledge surrounding the entire terrace.


    I looked curiously at the bag and knew he was right. I was starving. I walked up to the bag, aware that it hadn¡¯t been there just a second ago, and sat on the ledge, looking inside. My laughter echoed like a lost sound. It was obvious he, himself, had gathered our provisions.


    ¡°What?¡± he asked defensively and I wiped away an invisible tear.


    ¡°Nothing, really,¡± I replied, still laughing, and started pulling things out of the bag. ¡°One poor lonely yogurt,¡± I announced, putting it down beside me. ¡°And then, one packet of chocolate cream cookies, one packet of strawberry cream cookies, hmm.¡± I hesitated reading the next packet. ¡°Oh, yeah ... one packet of caramel cream cookies and, of course, three packets of vanilla cream chocolate cookies,¡± I finished reading and smiled. Those were the same ones he¡¯d asked me to buy when we¡¯d gone to the supermarket.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.


    ¡°They¡¯re good!¡± he countered, as if I were somehow doubting the quality of the food he¡¯d chosen and I nodded, opening one of the packets, the vanilla cream ones, his favorites.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure they are. But there¡¯s probably more than enough cookies here to last us for a month,¡± I mocked and he seemed embarrassed, which amused me even more. ¡°Want one?¡± I offered but he didn¡¯t even answer, making me give up on my taunting. ¡°So ... what were you discussing with Alexander when I woke up?¡±


    He sighed, as if he had hoped I¡¯d forgotten all about that, and I watched as he walked up to the edge in his usual controlled steps, and also sat on the ledge facing the dying sun, his legs dangerously hanging towards a fall of numerous feet. His pale skin seemed to gain some measure of color, when touched by the fire of the setting sun, and the wind blew, gently playing with his hair.


    ¡°What happened today ... what you did. I don¡¯t want you to do it again,¡± he simply told me but his firm tone wouldn¡¯t allow for any kind of question.


    ¡°What happened today?¡± I mused, nibbling one cookie as I forced my mind to quickly go through all the things I¡¯d witnessed. He looked at me and the intensity of his gaze made my heart jump. ¡°Those lights ...¡± I muttered and a shiver went down my spine. ¡°I did them.¡± I wanted it to sound as a question but, when I realized, I¡¯d stated it without a doubt. Gabriel nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s me?¡± He sat in silence while I struggled with the concept, and then many other things started to make sense. ¡°Was this ... the power you wanted from me?¡± I asked, not even knowing if I could call it that, and he looked away, again towards the horizon that seemed to have lost some of the brightness it had just moments ago.


    ¡°In the beginning, yes.¡±


    Unexpectedly his confirmation made me feel sad and my mouth tasted bitter, to the point that not even the sweetness of the cookies was able to erase it.


    ¡°That¡¯s good then ...¡± I managed to say, hoping he wouldn¡¯t notice how his simple answer had disturbed me, and I almost jumped in my seat when he raised his voice.


    ¡°Not good at all!¡± he claimed and I couldn¡¯t help stare, completely stunned, at him. ¡°That light is you! Your Soul! You cannot use it like that!¡± he went on, in completely scolding tone, and I blinked even more confused than before. ¡°Do you understand?¡±


    I did not understand. Not at all! But still I nodded just to appease him.


    ¡°Sigweardiel never told me anything about any of that!¡± he grunted, now sounding annoyed. ¡°The only thing he told me was that Gaalgha possess gifts that no other Human Being possess. And that because of they exist outside the Law, they¡¯re able to easily surpass both Deiwos and Merifri Magic. He never told me anything about the use of those gifts burning through the user¡¯s vital energy. Because it¡¯s how he says, Human Beings don¡¯t possess other sources of energy. Only gifted Magic Users are able to gather energy from other sources, like we do. I had never even thought about that, because the energy I have at my disposal is nearly endless. and so I only worry about keeping it under control. It never crossed my mind that things like that could be depleted.¡±


    He was quiet for a moment, as if he didn¡¯t know what else to say, and I sat very still, my half-eaten cookie forgotten in my hand.


    ¡°Do you understand, Mari? Every time you do something like that it¡¯s your own vital energy you¡¯re using. And, although Sigweardiel says that you usually recover faster than others, he knows perfectly well that it¡¯s only your immortal part, your Soul that recovers.¡±


    I swallowed hard, feeling my throat rough, and smiled since I didn¡¯t know what other expression I should show.


    ¡°That means ... that my life will keep on diminishing every time something like that happens,¡± I summarized and his silence confirmed my conclusion. ¡°How much?¡±


    ¡°How much?!¡± I only noticed just how dangerous that question had been when his eyes flashed for a split second.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯m thinking about dying!¡± I quickly explained. ¡°In truth, it¡¯s quite the opposite. This ... gift is something that I can use to defend myself, if needed, right? But I need to clearly understand how much that will cost me.¡± He seemed calmer but still displeased with my line of thought, looking away before he replied.


    ¡°Sigweardiel says one year, give it or take.¡± A lump cluttered my throat. So, that morning, in those brief minutes, I¡¯d lost one year of my life, I told myself and I just couldn¡¯t grasp the idea. ¡°But, if I do as he wants, there won¡¯t be a need to defend yourself anymore.¡±


    All the doubts and uncertainties I felt were immediately replaced by a deafening anger and, unthinking, I threw one of the cookie packets at his head. He easily grabbed it in midair, before it could actually hit him, but the cookies were immediately turned into dust, since he¡¯d grabbed them with too much strength.


    ¡°I¡¯d much rather hear you laugh, like before,¡± he told me, in his usual velvet tone, and placed the smashed packet beside him.


    ¡°If I could hit you! I swear I would!¡± I grunted. How could he still say something like that?


    He seemed amused by the idea.


    ¡°You¡¯d only end up hurting yourself, even if I let you hit me. My bones are too hard.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d use a big stick! A huge stick! A freaking baseball bat if needed!¡± I countered, still boiling, but his laughter easily erased part of my fury.


    ¡°Now, that would be funny. You, little as you are, with a giant stick trying to hit me,¡± he said, genuinely amused.


    Gabriel looked up at the sky that grew darker by the minute, and I recalled seeing him just like that on a rainy day. And yet, something had changed in his expression, and it was as if part of the pain that had been there had disappeared, making him look somehow younger and more at peace.


    * If you want to  know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit  the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 25 - Part 3

    ¡°You know, Sigweardiel was the one who told me about you, Gaalgha. I¡¯d never even heard the name before. To me, all Humans were the same and it had never even crossed my mind using them as a source of energy. That would be like ... feeding of rats.¡± He had a sarcastic smile on his face that irked me up to a point. ¡°Gaalgha, however, were Sigweardiel¡¯s world and it was due to the things he told me that I decided to help him with Jonathan. Honestly, I just couldn¡¯t believe the possibility of something so strange and yet so powerful existing, and that I¡¯d never even heard about it. But then this war started and priorities had to be reversed. And, although the outcome doesn¡¯t interest me in the slightest, I¡¯m also not willing to allow some other Deiwos to come along and destroy me, just like that.


    ¡°When some of my Brothers gathered, forming an alliance to Seal me, Lea and Delnak were with me,¡± he said fiercely in a darker tone. ¡°I did not have a way to break the Seal without causing massive destruction in the process. Having too much power has that inconvenience. It¡¯s too complicated to control and dose it. And so I put Lea to sleep fearing what he might do after I was gone. Maybe I should have put them both to sleep. Delnak sacrificed his life in return for the key to my prison of darkness, and he must have printed it in your book. When you evoked me I was ... furious! But also tired and week after all that time lost in the darkness, trying not to lose sight of myself, of who I was, even though there was nothing to see or be on the other side. All I wanted was to recover my strength as soon as possible and leave to hunt down my dear Brothers. At that time I didn¡¯t know how long it had passed, or that most of them had already been destroyed.


    ¡°When I saw you at my feet, small and terrified, I did not see you at all. I knew you were the one who had set me free. And I knew you were no Magic User ¡ª just a simple, insignificant Human. Sure I couldn¡¯t understand how someone like that had been able to release me, but I really couldn¡¯t care less. All I knew was that I had enough power to break the evocation¡¯s Contract if I killed you quickly enough, before you could make any demands.¡±


    He paused again to watch me closely, almost as if he feared the effects his words could have on me, but I sat still, unmoving, waiting for him to go on.


    ¡°But then ... you cried,¡± he whispered and hesitated for an instant. ¡°In my fury I didn¡¯t even notice how your tears glowed. Only when they burned me did I recall what Sigweardiel had told me ¡ª that Gaalgha hardly express human emotions and that their true emotions come from their Souls. Which means that, when they cry, it¡¯s their Souls who cry. It would seem that their bodies are as pure as the Souls that inhabit them, their glowing tears even more so, to the point that no Shedim can touch them without suffering the consequences. In that precise moment I knew that your Soul rejected my presence and that, by imposing it, I was breaking your Soul piece by piece.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s why you changed plans and decided not to kill me?¡± I managed to ask and he smiled, as if the fact that I was still able to speak had somehow relieved him. I still recalled his burned hands, especially after the incident in London.


    ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t know exactly why. I was completely prepared for a course of action and, in the next moment ... In the end I didn¡¯t know what to do and, since killing you would be a rather permanent and irreversible choice, I decided I might as well keep you alive for the time being. And so I spared your life and used the Law to establish a new Contract.¡±


    I laughed nervously and didn¡¯t even dare raise a hand to pull away the strand of hair that had slid over my eyes. I was sure it would shake uncontrollably and I didn¡¯t want to risk him noticing, certain that if he did he¡¯d end up dropping the subject and leaving things as they were.


    ¡°Big mistake,¡± I joked and he smiled so naturally that my heart skipped a beat.


    ¡°Probably,¡± he conceded. ¡°However, when I finally decided to try to understand what was keeping me from killing you, as it was my original plan, I found myself making up arguments that supported the value of keeping you alive. You were, after all, a Gaalgha, something that I hardly knew. Sigweardiel had told me about some of your gifts. He¡¯d told me that there¡¯s a source of light in your Souls and that that power will only truly activate when the Soul synchronizes with the more Human feelings. He told me that, once activated, they¡¯d be even greater than Deiwos¡¯ Magic, and I thought that maybe I could use that to gain some advantage in this war, since my own powers are too troublesome to control.


    ¡°Following this logic, if I were to kill you they¡¯d never belong to me. Once I decided to spare your life, I thought that through our Contract I¡¯d be able to attain what I wanted. The fact that your tears burned my skin was proof enough that you¡¯d never been with a man, and we all know how Humans have their hearts connected to their bodies, and their Souls connected to their hearts. That¡¯s how, over time, many Humans have been corrupted, and many of us have stolen Human Souls.¡±


    I thanked the weak light of the day that painted the sky in tones of orange, yellow and purple, helping me disguise my embarrassment. Gabriel seemed unfazed as he went on.


    ¡°I thought that by having your inexperienced body I¡¯d easily reach your heart and, from then, force my way into your Soul to steal the source of your light. Just as promised, I wasn¡¯t going to steal your life, not even your Soul. I did consider the possibility that you might cease to be a Gaalgha, that you might recede in the scale of Human evolution, but that would only have meant you¡¯d need to live a few more lives until you caught up again.¡±Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    I hugged my own arms, suddenly feeling cold. Gabriel was watching me in silence, his white skin becoming even paler as the world around us slowly plunged into darkness. The absence of an expression on his face froze me inside. And I knew that if I wasn¡¯t able to recover from that he wouldn¡¯t speak again.


    ¡°I would never ... have been the same ... again,¡± I managed to whisper and he remained serious.


    ¡°I know. Besides breaking you, you¡¯d probably suffer as Stephanie did. There isn¡¯t a Human able to withstand the touch of a Shedim without starting to desire him deeply. You can say that we¡¯re almost like a drug.¡±


    I dug my nails into my arms, making sure that, at least, I¡¯d be able to sit there and listen. As hard as it was to hear those words in his soft, velvet voice, those were the answers to all the questions that had crossed my mind since that terrifying night. That was his truth.


    ¡°Still, at that point, that didn''t mean anything to me,¡± he went on. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be sticking around to see it, anyway. But then Michael appeared.¡±


    The way he said his name was different from Alexander¡¯s open, undisguised hatred, but somehow scarier.


    ¡°And you, near him, seemed to glow. I found myself asking how was that possible. Because your relationship was completely different from the other Human relationships that I¡¯d observed. Besides, I knew you were a Gaalgha and that because of that you shouldn¡¯t be able to express your feelings with such intensity. I wondered which part of you really loved him and, no matter how much I told myself that such things didn¡¯t concern me, I was unable to simply ignore it, as I should have. Finally I came to the conclusion that your Soul somehow accepted the feelings of your heart regarding him, and so allowed you to manifest them.


    ¡°I realized that these were the only moments when you were truthful, and the empty expressions you gave me when you weren¡¯t wallowing in terror started to ... annoy me,¡± he noted with an ice cold smile. ¡°I¡¯m not used to not getting what I want. Likewise, there¡¯s nothing that I want that I¡¯m not able to acquire. And I found myself wanting to see the truth in the gestures and expressions you gave me. And was only when I realized just how much that desire had became essential to me that I understood just how much I¡¯d strayed from my true nature.¡±


    The brief silence that surrounded us made me feel even more nervous. He was still watching me as disbelief washed over me. And the wave of happiness that his words brought me glued back together the small piece of me that he had broken just moments ago.


    ¡°I knew I¡¯d end up doing something really stupid if I stayed. And so, when we went after Telane and my Brother, I decided to heed Sigweardiel¡¯s constant warnings and rid myself of your presence.¡±


    Pain again, even sharper than before, stole my breath away. All I had to do was recall that lost time to forget all other fears and doubts. Anything was better than that emptiness, than that silence from within.


    ¡°I was willing to extend our Contract indefinitely, until I found a way to dissolve it. I told myself I had enough power to ignore it, even if it were fulfilled, although the mere thought alone left me restless. I occupied my mind with other things, like the war and the possibility of victory, and tried to look away from your frail mortality to contemplate my obviously long life. I told myself that before I realized it a hundred years or so would have gone by, and by then you wouldn¡¯t even exist in this world anymore.¡±


    Since I¡¯d talked to Jonathan, I¡¯d been painfully aware of the time factor that would always keep us apart. But hearing it in his velvet voice was strangely distressing. He laughed lightly, almost as if mocking himself.


    ¡°In the end it didn¡¯t even take me a month before I was back in your living room,¡± he said. ¡°Of course, I immediately justified my presence with what had happened. It had all been an accident and I was there only because the Circle was there, and it would help me to heal faster. But, even so, I wished I could stay, even though I didn¡¯t allow myself to wish it. And I was about to leave again when you asked me to stay.¡±


    And he still sounded like he couldn¡¯t believe it, I noticed, even after the numerous discussions we¡¯d had about it.


    ¡°I could hardly contain my fury!¡± he continued. ¡°After all the work I¡¯d been through, after all the time it¡¯d taken me to convince myself that I should allow you to live your life. But then, more than fulfilling your wish, I fulfilled mine. Sure, there are all those arguments and all those explanations about why you changed your mind. Sigweardiel tells me that you¡¯re lonely, that in reality it¡¯s not my presence that you wish for, but simply the presence of someone able to see you for who you really are. The truth is I don¡¯t care. Besides my wish to stay, your Soul doesn¡¯t break into pieces when I¡¯m around anymore. And I¡¯m still ... confused about why that simple, insignificant fact pleases me so much ¡ª that a mere Human Being is able to sit next to me.¡± He laughed again. ¡°And so I couldn¡¯t help losing my temper when all that disappeared just from hearing you talk to Michael on the phone. I reprimanded myself for allowing myself to forget, even if only for a few moments, just how unstable my mood can get, and how dangerous that instability can be. I decided I should keep my distance while telling myself I should leave like before and, at the same time, unable to throw away what little I¡¯d been able to conquer.¡±


    The deep flow that was his voice made another pause and I recalled just how much his attempts to avoid me had deeply annoyed me.


    ¡°But today ... today that Soul of yours, that rejected me so bluntly, rose in my defense. And although I tell myself that I don¡¯t care for reasons, I can¡¯t help wonder why ...¡±


    I sat quietly and averted my gaze, disturbed by his constant observation. I asked myself if he expected an answer and tried to find something to tell him. Part of me wanted to be as honest as he¡¯d been, but my dark, critical voice kept reminding me of just who we were.


    * If you want to  know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit  the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 25 - Part 4

    ¡°I think you¡¯ll be able to see it, now.¡± I heard his casual voice and looked up, intrigued. I watched as he stood up on the narrow ledge, his figure lean and tall against the twilight sky. His skin was even paler now, the wind playing gently with his hair. He took a deep breath, opening his arms wide as if to embrace the whole world and, unexpectedly, colorful reflections shimmered far away. I immediately turned back, looking at the shadowy horizon, and watched as the colorful lights spread all around us in a huge circle, shimmering and gleaming in a transparent wall that rose from the ground to high up in the sky. It was beautiful, I thought with a smile, almost like a strange aurora borealis, and I noticed that, contrary to what he¡¯d had lead me to believe, the circle wasn¡¯t quite round, having some straight lines and corners, here and there.


    I sighed, feeling a bit more relaxed now, and played with the golden ring that I found in my pocket and that freely swirled around my finger.


    ¡°Sometimes, and as ridiculous as it may sound, I think you¡¯re like a child that has just discovered a new world,¡± I said. ¡°I see you full of curiosity and questions, even though you never express them out loud. And I can¡¯t help wondering ... what will happen once all your questions are answered. When there¡¯s no more novelties. Maybe you¡¯ll get bored. You¡¯ll probably look for another, more interesting, world.¡± I looked up at him, certain that he would be watching me again. ¡°This used to bother me, but now I tell myself that it¡¯s okay, since I can only live in a moment at a time.¡±


    ¡°Same as me,¡± he said softly. ¡°I also don¡¯t know the answer to any of those questions.¡±


    I smiled and took a deep breath, determined to change the subject.


    ¡°So, beyond colorful barriers, what else can you do?¡± I asked, sitting up straight, and he laughed lightly.


    ¡°It¡¯s easier if I tell you what I can¡¯t do,¡± he stated, in a smuggish tone, and I gave him a suspicious look, as he nimbly jumped off the ledge. ¡°Now, let¡¯s see, I cannot read your mind, or control your heart.¡± He lowered his voice at the last part, and my cheeks caught on fire once again.


    ¡°I know already,¡± I pressed so he would go on with it, and his teasing smile told me he¡¯d done it on purpose.


    ¡°Well, I also can¡¯t bend time,¡± he told me and that left me curious.


    ¡°Time?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I can¡¯t travel to the Past or to the Future. I also can¡¯t manipulate it or stop it.¡±


    ¡°And space?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that one is easy.¡± Before I could understand what had happened, a black door appeared in front of him. He walked towards it without hesitation and entered it, disappearing only to reappear coming from another door a few steps away.


    ¡°That door ...¡±


    ¡°Gateway,¡± he corrected me.


    ¡°Unites these zones together?¡±


    ¡°Yes. As if they were next to each other.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s different from when you disappear.¡±


    He nodded, immediately disappearing from where he stood, leaving that thin rain of small black glitter in his place. He appeared again right in front of me, careful to always keep a safe distance.


    ¡°To disappear like this,¡± he explained, ¡°what I do is to break down my own body into very tiny particles and send them through space at a speed faster than the speed of light.¡± I nodded, resting my chin on my hand.


    ¡°What about making other things appear?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    ¡°Hmm. I don¡¯t know, a field of flowers!¡± I decided, looking for something more difficult than a simple object. But, the moment I uttered the words, the old white tiles were covered in a green mantle from where dozens of small tiny flowers blossomed all at the same time.


    I blinked in amazement and touched the grass growing at my feet, feeling it alive and fresh. There was a sweet perfume in the air and I couldn¡¯t help notice how delicate those flowers were, their small petals dancing in the wind.


    ¡°It¡¯s beautiful,¡± I murmured, still caressing the grass, and looked up at him. ¡°Did you take this from somewhere else? Or did you just create it?¡±


    ¡°In this case, I created it. However, the result would have been the same. These flowers will soon wither and die. I can materialize things, but I can¡¯t give them life. A Deiwos can never give.¡±


    ¡°Only take,¡± I added. ¡°That means you can take a life. But doesn¡¯t it also mean that you can take death away?¡± I mused.


    ¡°Not necessarily,¡± he replied and looked away, telling me that that wasn¡¯t something he would like to share with me.


    ¡°Then, if you take death from someone, won¡¯t that someone be alive?¡±


    ¡°No. It may even move, maybe emit sounds, but it won¡¯t be alive. It will just be not dead.¡± I shuddered as I understood what he meant. ¡°We also don¡¯t give death, since it would be giving. To us death means total annihilation. So when we kill someone, we¡¯re taking away their own existence.¡±


    ¡°But, unlike you, Merifri can give,¡± I stated, waiting for a confirmation that didn¡¯t come. ¡°Does that mean they can give life and death?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I thought about it for a moment.


    ¡°When I see it like that, I can hardly say what we usually say, that Merifri are good and Deiwos are evil,¡± I concluded and he looked intrigued. ¡°It almost sounds more like Merifri are good and evil, and Deiwos are ¡­ neutral.¡± He seemed stunned for a split second and then broke into a laughter, startling me. It was the second time I heard him laugh like that, so simply and spontaneously.


    ¡°And this coming from a Gaalgha!¡± he declared and went back to laughing, making me frown at his condescending tone.


    ¡°What does being a Gaalgha have to do with anything?!¡± I demanded and Gabriel looked at me and, although his lips were still smiling, his eyes were sharp and hard.


    ¡°Gaalgha are Merifri in human shape,¡± he stated in a whisper and I recalled what Alexander had told me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like one at all!¡± I countered and looked away pouting. There was nothing he wouldn¡¯t use to reinforce the barrier between us.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s good to know.¡± His murmur sent my heart into another suicidal run and I quickly went back to our previous topic.


    ¡°What about Magic?¡± I asked and he smiled, that crooked mocking smile that told me he had noticed my escape.


    ¡°Yes, of course.¡±


    ¡°Like those black flames?¡± I insisted, recalling what I¡¯d seen that morning.


    ¡°No. That¡¯s different. Those flames are the same as your white lights.¡±


    ¡°Your Soul!¡±


    ¡°The power of my Soul, if you can call it that.¡±


    ¡°But won¡¯t using it burn through your vital energy?¡±


    ¡°Even if it does, I¡¯ll never notice it.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± I muttered, carefully placing all those new pieces of information in their respective places on the greater puzzle-like picture that was my life at the moment. ¡°Anything else?¡±Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    I smiled, pleased that he was finally willing to answer my questions, and searched the inner chambers of my mind.


    ¡°Um, how fast can you really move?¡± I asked and he sighed, as if he¡¯d hoped that I¡¯d answered him no.


    ¡°Faster than you can see.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, what if you wanted to go around the world. How long would it take you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Never tried it before. There are much more interesting and comfortable ways to travel,¡± he replied and I couldn¡¯t help smiling at his ¡®interesting.¡¯


    ¡°But would you need to stop to rest? Or could you do it in one go?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d probably need to rest at least two or three times,¡± he calculated. ¡°Ah! Another thing I cannot do,¡± he claimed, making me jump. ¡°I can¡¯t duplicate myself. So I can¡¯t be at two places at the same time.¡± I smiled maliciously.


    ¡°Now that¡¯s reassuring. Two or more of you would be really hard to endure,¡± I confessed and his expression became slightly threatening. ¡°Can I ask something?¡± I asked, squeezing my hands together, uncertain of how he¡¯d react to my request. He seemed to notice my anxiety and his expression became more serious and slightly apprehensive.


    ¡°Ask.¡±


    ¡°Show me your true form.¡±


    He was like a statue again, completely motionless; only his hair would gently move as the wind played with its dark strands.


    ¡°Why?¡± The word escaped his petrified lips and I found myself nervously playing with the ring that loosely embraced my finger.


    ¡°Because the only time I really saw you was when I evoked you. But now it will be different,¡± I replied, unable to find any other suitable arguments.


    ¡°No, it won¡¯t,¡± he replied, his voice sounding even colder. ¡°Because I cannot release my physical appearance without releasing part of my presence as well. It will expand all over this place, and even if you tell yourself you¡¯re not afraid, it will still be a very real threat to your existence.¡±


    I stood up, the muscles of my legs throbbing and complaining from that insignificant movement, and shivered when the wind blew in my ears. Even so, I raised my head and faced him with all my strength.


    ¡°Maybe yes, maybe no. But don¡¯t you want to know?¡± I asked and he averted his gaze.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine with the way things are,¡± he said.


    ¡°Liar!¡± I accused him, raising my voice, and took a deep breath pushing my sudden anger away. ¡°I¡¯m not!¡±


    ¡°Mariane,¡± I heard him whisper my name as if he was appealing to my good sense, and I clenched my hands into two tight fists, frowning, forbidding myself to be dragged by the power his voice held over me.


    ¡°And stop using my name to control the way I feel!¡± I added for good measure. ¡°What are you afraid of?¡±


    He looked at me and his fierce gaze filled with a deep restrained fury that almost made me take a step back.


    ¡°You stupid Human!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m here, am I not?¡±


    ¡°Only for now!¡±


    ¡°I am here!¡± I insisted, easily raising my voice over his, and he sighed in defeat, allowing his fury to wash away.


    ¡°Just stay there then,¡± he muttered bitterly and took a deep breath as if to gather courage.


    I watched as he slowly closed his eyes and, moments later, his short hair rose in the air, as if the wind around him had grown stronger. I blinked to make sure I was seeing right, and the soft dark strands grew, inch by inch, but at a very much abnormal speed, until they fell over his shoulders, sliding over his shirt down to waist length. I immediately felt the difference in the air. It was as if he¡¯d stepped closer to me, although neither of us had moved. My body was now shaking, as always happened when he stood beside me, and yet, as unpleasant as it might be, that was a sensation I had grown used to. Gabriel looked defiantly at me and his violet eyes locked on my shaking hands.


    ¡°Enough?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I replied immediately, not allowing myself a single second to waver.


    ¡°Fine then. But I should warn you, it won¡¯t be as soft as this.¡±


    I just nodded while mentally preparing myself. The impact was deafening and stridently loud, making me cover my ears. The cyclonic wind that surrounded me, pulling at my hair and hurting my bare skin, made me crouch for fear I¡¯d end up being tossed somewhere else. My heart exploded against my chest, stealing my breath away, and I felt my sanity slipping away like water between my fingers. The chaos around me screamed and howled. And darkness closed in, tying me up, making it impossible for me to run, threatening to swallow me whole.


    I forced myself to breathe and, for a moment, that was all I could do. The air burned my lungs every time, but I just kept at it until I was sure I wouldn¡¯t forget to breathe again.


    Shaking terribly, I noticed the wind had dwindled and that the voices that kept screaming were now just a scary murmur. And so I dared raise my head, and my eyes were lost in his terrifying figure.


    The dark wings sprouting from his back were huge, with sharp endings and, although Gabriel stood completely still, my instincts told me without a shadow of a doubt that he¡¯d be on me in a split second, and that he could shred me into pieces before I could even blink. My stomach cringed, making me feel sick, until I found his eyes.


    Suddenly I felt as if I¡¯d been thrown into a sea of deep, cold water, and everything was silent. The sadness that marked his face left a bitter taste in my mouth, and knowing I was the reason behind his pain made tears blur my vision.


    Not knowing exactly how, I was able to stand up, my legs shaking so much that it was almost impossible to walk. And yet I took a step towards him, and that feeble movement was all it took to return the light to his eyes. He watched intently and patiently as I struggled with every single step until I could finally stand before him. By then my breathing was so labored that the air was filled with its sickening sound, and my heart beat so fast that it hurt my chest. And yet I felt immensely happy when I saw him smile, a small, almost shy smile.


    Looking at him from so up close made me notice an immensity of small details, like the shadow that his rebel bangs cast over his violet eyes, or how his face looked even paler when framed by his long black hair. I raised a hand that wouldn¡¯t stop shaking and touched a strand of his hair, resting over his chest, surprising myself at how cold it felt, thin and soft, sliding through my fingers like liquid. And then my eyes were on his wings, which he kept half folded against his body. I felt really small near him, as if I could simply disappear in his shadow. I left his hair and stretched a hand towards one of his wings,but, before I could see it, or understand how, his hand stopped mine, just standing there, like a wall in my path. I noticed how big it was, his fingers long and elegant, and how he kept it opened as to make sure he wouldn¡¯t grab me.


    ¡°You¡¯ll hurt yourself,¡± I heard him say in that smooth tone and I looked up at him, confirming he¡¯d just allowed the words to flow out of his unmoving lips.


    His voice was the same, I mused, and inexplicably that made me feel more at ease. I went around his hand easily enough and touched the dark surface of his wing, feeling it slithering, almost plastic-like. The shock that electrified my fingers spread up my arm, up to my elbow and yes, it hurt, but not enough to make me pull back. And so I slowly ran my hand over it, feeling it smooth and cold but incredibly resistant, and smiled.


    ¡°So weird.¡±


    I saw the hand he had raised to stop mine slowly lower and was lost in that movement. His white long fingers stretched towards me and lightly touched my waist in such a way that I could hardly feel them.


    His wings disappeared in a rain of small dark stars that confused me, the floating bright glitters cold and light to the touch when they fell over my hand, almost like small drops of water that didn¡¯t wet. However, I felt the difference immediately, and it was as if someone had taken an immense weight off me. I looked up with a half complaint on my lips and was immediately frozen in place. His eyes, the way he was looking at me, immediately erased all coherent thoughts from my mind.


    Just like that morning, I watched as he slowly bent over me until his face was right beside mine, almost touching me, and I heard as he took a deep breath, making me forget to breathe and sending shivers down my spine. His breath warmed my neck, and my shoulder, and my entire body, and my heart almost stopped. I felt him gently brush my hair back, his cold skin briefly brushing against mine, as his fingers traced the line from my neck, up to my ear, so lightly that he was barely touching me.


    My trembling legs threatened to falter and, in a reflex, I held on to the only thing that could offer me some support, my fingers closing over the silk fabric of his shirt. I felt like a mesmerized bird enchanted by a poisonous serpent, but even so I couldn¡¯t let go.


    Gabriel took a deep breath, making me tremble, and his fingers slid softly over my waist, and up my back, stopping between my shoulder blades.


    ¡°This is too hard,¡± he whispered by my ear, his breath caressing my skin with every word, sending electrical charges through my entire body. ¡°I want to hold you, but I don¡¯t even dare, and yet everything about you, your warmth ... your scent ... keeps calling me in.¡±


    I had to sob to be able to breathe and the tips of his fingers touched my face, cold and trembling, sliding over my skin like icy cold tears. They softly made me raise my head, and facing his gaze, so close to mine, made me dizzy. His cold lips touched my forehead, bringing my stilled heart back to life, back into one of his frenzied races, and the sweet scent of his skin stole what little ability to think I still retained. His lips slid over my face, caressing my skin, light as feathers, until his warm breath touched my lips, and he pressed his lips against mine, stopping motionless. I felt as if something inside me was about to break, and wondered which one of us was shaking the most. His fingers on my back increased their pressure, and I could clearly feel them for a moment, until he relaxed his strength again as if he¡¯d been fighting the urge to pull me closer. And then his lips were moving over mine, in a trembling but incredibly sweet kiss, and something burned inside me as if I¡¯d just sealed another Contract with him.


    As if the hypnotic effect had suddenly been broken I could move again, and I lowered my head, escaping from his touch. My hands released him, still shaking uncontrollably, and pain pierced through me as I recalled what we were and the situation we were in.


    I heard him sigh, as though he¡¯d just thought the same, and wanted to cry.


    ¡°This ... cannot be ... right?¡± His velvet voice echoed in my mind, making the pain even worse, and his hands slowly released me, making me feel as if I¡¯d been left naked.


    I saw him take a step back. And the idea that he could step away from me just like that, with so much ease, sent waves of panic washing over me. Unthinkingly I grabbed one of his long strands of hair and stopped him from taking another step. I raised my head, fearing his reaction, fearing his anger, but he was looking at me with gentle eyes, with that same expression that I¡¯d only seen him wear with Lea, and smiled.


    The weight of that smile almost crushed me and, in an impulse, I took the step that he¡¯d backed away and hugged him as hard as I could, burying my face on his chest. He stood motionless, for an instant, and all I could hear was my own sobbing. And then he moved, and I felt him place his forehead on my head. His long hair fell all around me, like a curtain of darkness, and a heavy sigh left his lips.


    ¡°What now?¡±


    I stubbornly shook my head and, although my arms ached and trembled, I hugged him even harder.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care ...¡±

 Chapter 26 - Part 1

    Chapter 26


    MAZ


    ¨C The Vision of the Middle Pillar. Arrow.


    The Mystery Of Atheism.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°How can I escape this bitter Destiny. From one side the light that touches my face ...


    From the other the shadow that envelops me in its embrace ...


    And since I don¡¯t know how to live without the light, or how to survive without the shadow,


    everything in me is tearing apart, reducing me to an amorphous tired bundle of a person.¡±


    No one was home when we returned, and I supposed that Lea and Alexander were roaming the streets in search of Telane.


    Gabriel left me in my room, promising in a soft whisper he¡¯d be back soon, and I found myself standing there, in the same exact place he¡¯d left me, my eyes fixed on the door, awaiting his return. I only relaxed when I saw him back at the door and his surprised expression, as he noticed I hadn¡¯t moved an inch, left me embarrassed.


    In slow steps that made me tremble as he passed by me, he crossed the room and placed the tray he¡¯d been carrying on my desk.


    ¡°You need to eat,¡± he stated in that tone that didn¡¯t allow further discussion, and stepped back, leaning against the wall on the other side, so that I could avoid my tremors.


    I looked at what he¡¯d brought me and smiled at the fuming plate of soup, accompanied by two slices of toast and a tall glass of peach juice. No more chocolate cookies, I thought, sitting down and taking a long sip of my favorite juice. As always he¡¯d been right. I was starving.


    And yet, his presence there, in my room, was much more important than any plate of food. And so, as soon as I put down my glass, I turned back to look at him, just to make sure he was still there, although I could clearly feel his presence in the air around us.


    I just sat there for a moment, watching him, my heart beating too fast, although he was far enough to spare me from my usual symptoms. His hair was back to being short again, but his eyes were still violet, and his face was so perfect that I wished I could touch it. I blushed, too embarrassed by my own thoughts, but still couldn¡¯t look away.


    ¡°Eat,¡± he commanded once again, but my fear of him not being there the next time I turned back spoke louder than his order impossible to disobey.


    ¡°And you? Will you stay?¡±


    ¡°You rather I go?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± The immediacy of my answer left us both in silence. I lowered my gaze, regretting having talked before thinking, and took a deep breath. ¡°But I know you want to go after Telane,¡± I added and shuddered at the idea.


    ¡°Sigweardiel and Lea are looking for her,¡± he simply replied and I found myself smiling again.


    ¡°You¡¯ll stay then.¡±


    ¡°As long as you want me to stay.¡± His indifferent tone didn¡¯t go unnoticed.


    ¡°What about you? What do you want?¡± I insisted, determined not to let him avoid my initial question, and Gabriel looked away, and didn¡¯t answer. Which really irked me and made words I didn¡¯t mean sprout out of my lips. ¡°Just go then! Go after her! Since it seems she doesn¡¯t even want to kill you! She wants you to win this war and be with her!¡± His incredulous expression made me even angrier. I turned my back on him, grabbing the spoon, and filled my mouth with scalding soup. I was immediately embarrassed by my own words. I couldn¡¯t even understand why I felt so angry!Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    ¡°I think you¡¯re mistaken,¡± he finally said in his lustrous voice as I stuffed my mouth with the forth spoonful of mushroom soup. ¡°It may be true that she wants me to win this war. But Telane does not wish to belong to anyone. This is precisely her only chance to free herself from that destiny. She knows I won¡¯t claim her, even if I win.¡±


    I didn¡¯t answer and kept swallowing my soup. Then I turned to the toast and devoured it voraciously, as if stuffing my mouth with food could prevent me from spitting out any more nonsense. I almost choked at the speed I ate and had to resort to a few more long sips of peach juice to push it all down.


    ¡°Mariane? Are you angry?¡± His uncertain, somewhat worried tone caught me off guard and I put down the glass.


    ¡°Yes. At myself ... for being such so childish, and an idiot, and unable to think before I speak.¡± I turned to look at him. He smiled condescendingly.


    ¡°You¡¯re tired. You need to rest.¡± Although I wished I could contradict him once more, I knew he was right. And yet, even though I knew I was being childish again, I found myself exactly in the same point I¡¯d been when our talk had begun.


    ¡°And you?¡± I asked, embarrassed, and he smiled gently.


    ¡°I¡¯ll stay here.¡±


    ¡°The whole night?¡±


    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s also what I want.¡±


    I smiled in a silly explosion of happiness and, completely forgetting my aching muscles, jumped from my chair and grabbed my pajamas, running towards the door.


    ¡°Be right back!¡± I told him, completely ignoring his puzzled look, and ran out again.


    I went to the bathroom and changed clothes as fast as I could, washing my face and brushing my teeth at the speed of light. I stopped for an instant before my image on the mirror and, for a split second, was able to question the righteousness of my actions. I turned off the water and took a deep breath. Even while trying to think about what I should do, I still couldn¡¯t stop worrying if he¡¯d still be there when I returned.


    I went back to the room in a more normal pace and stopped by the door to look inside. Relief washed over me when I found him standing exactly where I¡¯d left him, and the way he looked at me made feel embarrassingly conscious of myself.


    I walked in small but fast steps to my bed and his low-chuckled laughter made me cringe as if he were about to attack me.


    ¡°Really. And here I was wondering why you had left in such a hurry,¡± he commented. ¡°As to be expected, only you could wear a thing like that. It¡¯s unbelievable. A female your age wearing pajamas with bears!¡± He mocked, still laughing, and if I¡¯d been embarrassed before I could almost dig my own grave and bury myself at that.


    I pulled my cotton top down, as if it could cover me from head to toe, and slid under the protection of my quilt, trying to escape his evil gaze.


    ¡°I¡¯ve always worn pajamas like this!¡± I contested, defensively. ¡°And besides, I¡¯m no female! I¡¯m just a girl!¡± I added, displeased with that denomination, as though he were putting me together with all the females he had known before.


    ¡°Yes, but a girl with no sense of sensuality whatsoever,¡± he replied with a sorrowful tone, and I pulled the quilt around me, watching him suspiciously, which made him laugh again.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m really sorry for that!¡± I grunted. ¡°But since you already know that, you could at least return me my clothes!¡± I added and he looked surprised.


    ¡°Still hanging on that? What do you want them for? Your new clothes fit you much better.¡± I averted my gaze and buried my chin on the quilt.


    ¡°Those things are all too thin and too delicate for me,¡± I complained. ¡°I feel like I could be naked at any time. It¡¯s really stressful, always worrying if I won¡¯t end up tearing something.¡±


    ¡°Nonsense. Everything fits you perfectly. After all, I was the one who chose them," he added impossibly smug. Over time I¡¯d come to understand that whenever that pride thing of his came into play, there was no use arguing. ¡°But, if you want, I can always get you some new pajamas.¡± Even though he was clearly joking, I still jumped in panic.


    ¡°No way!¡± I refused immediately, trying to picture what kinds of small pieces of fabric would be acceptable pajamas in his mind, and was immediately sorry I¡¯d tried, too shocked with my own imagination. Gabriel gave me one of his evil crooked smiles, which made me really restless, and I made plans to hide all my bear and sheep pajamas in the morning.


    ¡°Sleep now. You have to rest,¡± he told me softly and I couldn¡¯t stop my insecurity from coming back. He seemed to notice it as well, and so he just bent down and sat on the floor, his back against the wall, just like I¡¯d found him when I¡¯d woken the day before. ¡°I¡¯ll stay here till dawn. Unless you¡¯re unable to sleep with me so close to you.¡±


    I lay down as quickly as I could and pulled the quilt up to my ears.


    ¡°See you tomorrow,¡± I told him, making sure there wouldn¡¯t be even the slightest chance of arguing his last supposition and he smiled.


    ¡°Sleep well, Mariane.¡±


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 26 - Part 2

    I woke up with the impression I¡¯d cried the entire night and, in the next second, my confused mind told me I was late. Only when I sat up, hurrying to get ready for school, and pain washed over my entire body, did I remember what had happened the day before, and that because of that no one would allow me set foot outside the house.


    I took a deep breath, checking the hours, and was surprised to see it was past eleven. With no hope of finding him there, I still checked the place where Gabriel had been sitting.


    I remembered waking up the middle of the night and seeing him there, silently watching me. But now I was alone, once more, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling a bit disappointed when I couldn¡¯t even feel his presence in the house.


    However, by the time I finished getting dressed, I¡¯d already decided that this wasn¡¯t all that bad, as well. I was obviously in need of some alone-slash-reflecting-time, and near him my mind was mostly blank or terrified.


    My gaze fell on the small golden ring, lying beside my pillow, and I decided I might as well find it a chain and wear it around my neck, since it would fall from any of my fingers. I tucked it inside my blouse, the cold of the metal against my skin making me shiver, and left the room to go downstairs, glad that, even though my muscles still ached, it was nothing even closer to the torture that had accompanied me the day before.


    I went straight to the living room, from where I¡¯d heard voices and, as soon as I appeared at the door, Jonathan grew immediately quiet. I tried to read his face, see if he still hadn¡¯t forgiven me, but he just stared right through me.


    ¡°Mari! Good Morning! How are you feeling?¡±


    I put on a smile for Alexander, who stood up from the couch as if to see me better.


    ¡°Morning. I¡¯m fine. No need to worry,¡± I replied, even though I knew he wouldn¡¯t believe me.


    ¡°Izrail went to meet Lea. As it seems, the cat found the place where Telane has been hiding,¡± he reported, although I hadn¡¯t even asked, and I couldn¡¯t help feeling apprehensive. After the night before I had become even more aware of the kind of power a Shedim possessed. And I could hardly imagine what would happen if two like Gabriel were to face each other in a real combat.


    ¡°Think they¡¯ll be back for lunch? I was about to make us something to eat,¡± I said and Alexander seemed to study me for a moment, but if he did reach any conclusion, he chose not to share it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll let them know. I¡¯m sure the cat will be thrilled.¡±


    I smiled, imagining Lea¡¯s bright eyes as he jumped up and down all over the kitchen. I hadn¡¯t seen him since he¡¯d left us to chase Telane and, although I knew he was okay, especially now with Gabriel by his side, I still couldn¡¯t stop worrying. It was ridiculous, I grumbled in my head as I went to the kitchen, since he was no child at all and much stronger and capable than I would ever be.


    The kitchen was immersed in silence and I immediately missed the voices that usually filled it. I stuck my head in the freezer and checked its contents. Once more our provisions were dwindling and I made a mental note about the need for a quick stop by the supermarket the next day or so. I took a piece of veal, perfect for what I had in mind, and seasoned it with lemon juice, salt and pepper. I added some chopped garlic and sprinkled it with thyme and oregano, and, after adding a generous amount of olive oil, slid it into the oven. I would serve it with salted vegetables, I decided. But I would still have to make some fries, since Lea always made a face every time I told him to eat his veggies. Fries would be my trading chip, I planned with a smile as I peeled the potatoes.


    The sound of the front door bell ringing left me intrigued. I didn¡¯t recall anyone ever ringing my door bell since Rachel had returned to Paris. And so I put down the knife and went to the door, warning Alexander not to worry as I passed by the living room. The bell rang again, persistently, and I slightly ran to get it.


    ¡°All right, all ready! I¡¯m coming!¡± I called out, turning the key and, as soon as the latch unlocked, the door opened with such violence that I had to take a step back so it wouldn¡¯t hit me. I took a hand to my chest, trying to still my heart from the scare I¡¯d caught, and looked up at him in complete disbelief.


    ¡°Mari! I need to talk to you!¡± Michael blurted out, obviously distressed about something, and stepped into the house without even being invited. And yet, two steps later, his body was completely frozen, his anxious expression changing into one of utter shock, fear even, and then growing darker and more frightening as his green eyes glowed threateningly. ¡°Him! He¡¯s here, isn¡¯t he?¡± he asked me in a harsh, angry tone, and I blinked, completely stunned.


    With a fast movement, Michael grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me outside the house, making me stumble to accompany his fast, furious pace. I ran, and stumbled again, too confused to react as he dragged me down the street, towards a small parking lot not far from there.


    And then, it suddenly came to me, and I felt wretched inside. The promise we had made! The afternoon I had agreed to spend with him! The birthday I had wanted to celebrate. I had forgotten all about it. My mind had been so far from all that, I hadn¡¯t even remembered it when Gabriel had mentioned his name.


    ¡°Michael ...¡± I started, trying to apologize, knowing that what I¡¯d done was unforgivable, that he had every reason in the world to be angry at me, and he pulled me even harder.


    ¡°Just shut up! Do you know you even smell like him!¡± The harshness of his usually gentle voice left me wordless.


    He stopped near the place where he¡¯d left his bike ... more broken promises, I thought, and finally released my wrist to get on it.


    ¡°Come on! What are you waiting for?¡± he demanded, still angry, and I finally understood that he expected me to leave with him. I instinctively took a step back, holding my wrist that still hurt, and shook my head.


    I knew better than anyone how dangerous it was, being alone, outside like this. It was like asking Telane to find me and finish what she had started two days ago. But, above that, right then, I didn¡¯t want to be alone with him. His fierce, almost crazed expression scared me. I didn¡¯t know that Michael at all. And my silent refusal seemed to only make him angrier, his hands closing into tight fists that shook under the strength of his own grip.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°Why is he here?¡± he asked accusingly, raising his voice, and I cringed instinctively. His voice almost sounded like a thunder echoing across the skies.


    ¡°He?¡± I replied, still too perplexed by all that to react accordingly, and a deep frown marked his forehead.


    ¡°I saw you yesterday, Mari! At school! Who do you think you¡¯re fooling?¡± My heart jumped at that. He¡¯d seen us? How? And if he¡¯d seen us, what else had he seen?


    ¡°Michael, it¡¯s not what you¡¯re thinking,¡± I tried to explain, appealing to his comprehension, above all trying to appease him, but it all had the opposite effect.


    ¡°And how would you know what I¡¯m thinking? Why didn¡¯t you tell me that he was back? Better yet! How long has he been there, stuck in the same house as you, without even going to school?¡±


    I blinked, incredulous of the direction our talk was taking and, somehow, I felt more relaxed.


    ¡°Gabriel is only passing by,¡± I assured him, even though the mere possibility of my words being true made me sick to my stomach, and he frowned again.


    ¡°Passing by!¡± He spit the words with scorn. ¡°I saw you together! In each other¡¯s arms! I reckon that you spent the afternoon with him! And to think that, even after that, I still waited for you. That I still believed you¡¯d be back. I¡¯ve been nothing but understanding up till now! Trying to accept that distorted relationship you two have. Trying to respect your doubts and insecurities. And what for, since it¡¯s obvious I¡¯m losing you to him!¡±


    ¡°Michael!¡± I shouted above his voice and was gasping for air the next instant. I felt terrible, and guilty, and the worst Human Being on Earth for having hurt him like that. But, above all, because what had led me to shout like that hadn¡¯t been his pain or his despair, but my fear that his words could fulfill the terms of the Contract. And not because I was afraid to uphold my part, but because that was the only bound that truly united Gabriel and I. ¡°I am sorry for yesterday. I truly am.¡± I told him in complete honesty, my voice breaking halfway, and did my best to face his furious but deeply hurt green eyes. ¡°But everything else ... it¡¯s just crazy stuff from your head.¡± Shaking inside, I told myself I was not trying to deceive him, while my darker voice laughed mockingly at my lie.


    He stood up, seeming calmer, and took two steps in my direction. And even though that was Michael, the Michael I loved and trusted implicitly, I still had to make a real effort to just stand there, and not step back in order to keep the distance.


    ¡°Prove it!¡±


    It took me some time to understand the true meaning of his words and my heart beat hard against my chest, making me look away in hopes of escaping that command.


    ¡°Michael ¡­¡±


    ¡°Prove it!¡± he repeated, cutting me off, and his hands held me by the shoulders, pulling me roughly.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and reflexively pushed him back with all my strength, my shaking hands on his chest, but he didn¡¯t move an inch. The warm hands that covered my shoulders hurt me, his fingers digging into my skin, and I groaned in pain knowing I¡¯d never be strong enough to free myself from his grip.


    ¡°Let her go!¡± That voice, although spoken in what could be considered a normal tone, echoed all around us in a heavy, dark threat, putting everything to a stop. Michael raised his head, looking surprised, and his hands automatically lost their strength, ending up releasing me. Before I could react, an arm was across my chest and I was pulled back against a firm, warm body.


    ¡°You are ... that friend of his,¡± Michael murmured. The tension around us made me shudder.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. And you! You don¡¯t have the right to even come close to her!¡± Alexander replied, murderous intent dripping from his every single word. Michael stood silent, looking at me with a mix of pain and regret, making my heart hurt as well. Alexander took a deep breath and released me. ¡°However, because Mari worries about you, I¡¯ll tell you what happened. Gabriel and I came back yesterday. His mother, Mari¡¯s aunt, passed away last Sunday. The family thought it best if we gave Mari the news in person. And so we met her at school. Mari wasn¡¯t feeling well afterwards, and so we brought her home.¡± He spoke in a monotonous, obviously annoyed tone, and placed a warm hand on my head as if to comfort me. I couldn¡¯t even feel outraged at the stream of lies flowing out of his lips. ¡°Since she wasn¡¯t feeling all that great, I gave her a sleeping pill, and she just woke up an hour ago. And now! After all she¡¯s been trough, you still come here with this kind of shit?¡±


    He was back to his furious mode and Michael winced, as if he¡¯d been really hit.


    ¡°Alexander! Please,¡± I begged. I was the one at fault. I was the one who had hurt him. I didn¡¯t want to see him suffer anymore, much less for a bunch of ridiculous lies.


    Alexander looked down at me for a second, and then looked away, almost pouting, but didn¡¯t say another word.


    I looked back at Michael, at his guilty and confused expression. I could still clearly remember his bright smile when he¡¯d shown me his new bike, inviting me to spend the afternoon with him. I swallowed my sobbing that would only lead to a tearless crying, and made my lips smile, making sure I kept my emotions under control and that I kept facing him, even as hard as it now was just looking at him.


    ¡°I am really sorry,¡± I told him in all honesty. ¡°I know how important yesterday was for you, and I do wish I could have spent it with you.¡± I felt sad and disappointed at myself, and he lowered his head.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m the one who¡¯s sorry. I ...¡± His shoulders shook and then he was turning away and getting on his bike, sliding the helmet over his head.


    ¡°Michael! Wait!¡± I called out to him, desperately trying to reach him. I couldn¡¯t let him go like that, as if things had been broken between us. How could I possibly fix that? But Alexander held my hand, pulling me back, and then his bike was already roaring even before he released the brake, and he sped out of the parking lot and down the road, leaving me behind, empty and cold.


    ¡°Let him go, Mari,¡± Alexander told me as I watched him go. There was nothing else I could do.


    The pain, however, was all mine to bear, and I sobbed bitterly, not even one single tear obeying my sorrow. Childishly enough I was angry with my own Soul! How could she just watch him go like that and do nothing! And feel nothing when I was in so much pain. And then my usual defense mechanism turned on and everything inside me was quiet, still and unfeeling for as long as I could keep my mind like that, completely blank.


    It was in that almost apathetic state that I returned home with Alexander by my side. I heard him ask me for forgiveness for not having arrived earlier. And somewhere I knew I should thank him, but the words were lost inside of me. As soon as he opened the door I could smell burning, and I went straight to the kitchen to see Jonathan surrounded by a cloud of gray smoke.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry! When I noticed it was already too late! And I don¡¯t really know how to use these things,¡± he said, sounding strangely flustered. I didn¡¯t know what was stranger; that he was talking to me or that he could show that kind of expression, but I didn¡¯t care either way.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. No big deal,¡± I told him, looking at my scorched veal.


    ¡°What now?¡± he asked, sounding genuinely worried, and I shrugged.


    ¡°Throw it away,¡± I replied and turned away, feeling Alexander¡¯s gaze following me as I went up to my room.


    For a moment I almost expected to see him there, looking at me with his mocking smile, and an ironic sneer touched my lips. Even then, even in that kind of situation, after all that had just happened, in the end my mind turned to Gabriel.


    With a sigh I went to the place where he usually sat, on the floor, and sat down. I recalled Steph¡¯s words and buried my forehead on my knees. She¡¯d been right all along. I wanted them both and, not surprisingly, the only thing that could come out of something like that was pain and suffering. I couldn¡¯t even think about things like having to choose one, even though that would probably mean that I would end up losing them both. After all, Gabriel wasn¡¯t even Human.

 Chapter 27 - Part 1

    Chapter 27


    PAZ


    ¨C The Marriage of Yod and He. The common Tibetan Symbol. The Seer identifies himself with it.<sup>1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°And, even surrounded by despair, the joy that fills me inflates my being and feeds my life ...


    However, I know all too well that reality is quite different, and that what I now feel are nothing but cruel,


    passing illusions of a life pulled away from its Destiny.¡±


    "What are you doing there, sitting on the floor?¡±


    I raised my head and blinked, not knowing if I was dreaming or awake. Gabriel was right in front of me, sitting on my bed, as if he¡¯d been watching me for quite some time. His face was an indecipherable mask, his velvet tone sounding dry and restrained.


    I wondered how long he¡¯d been sitting there. I had the feeling I¡¯d fallen asleep. I looked out the window in search of a time reference, but the day outside was still bright.


    I shrugged, answering his questions. I didn¡¯t want to talk, or think, certain that the sound of my own voice would bring everything back, breaking the quietness and stillness inside me. If I could stay like this, I felt I could pretend I still had my eyes closed, forgetting myself so I wouldn¡¯t be able to feel.


    ¡°Until when are you planing to stay there?¡± he insisted and I watched him in silence.


    Although his expression seemed serene and indifferent, something in his eyes and in the way he spoke told me otherwise.


    My lack of response seemed to worsen his bad mood, and a small frown marked the perfect skin of his forehead.


    ¡°You still smell like him!¡± he accused me, dryly, and the wave of pain that washed over me, together with how ridiculous everything really was, left me on the brink of despair; and so I laughed, knowing I could never cry.


    Gabriel sat in silence, watching me with his serious expression until my laughter started to die out. My throat hurt, as though I¡¯d been screaming for hours, and I faced him, running a cold, moist hand over my scalding face.


    ¡°Did you know he told me the exact same thing?¡± I asked and my voice sounded harsh and broken. I smiled sarcastically and rested my head on my hand. ¡°He also told me I smelled like you, and searched for you like a mad man, as if you could be hiding in my shadow.¡± Gabriel seemed to try to control his bad temper and closed his hands into tight fists over his legs.


    ¡°Sigweardiel told me what happened,¡± he confessed.


    ¡°And?¡± He looked away and frowned.


    ¡°That pain that consumes you ... annoys me!¡± I smiled briefly at his comment, lost between pain, and sadness, and happiness. ¡°Seeing you there, because of him, makes me want to do something drastic, something that would replace him inside you.¡±


    ¡°You want even my pain to be because of you? I thought you wanted me to smile,¡± I argued and he seemed to struggle with the idea.


    ¡°And I do. But if that¡¯s not possible, then I¡¯d rather that even in pain you¡¯ll think only of me,¡± he told me roughly.


    ¡°Michael is important to me,¡± I declared in a small voice and saw him clench his teeth. ¡°He¡¯s the reason why you¡¯re here.¡±


    ¡°That means ...¡± His voice broke, hesitantly, and I forced myself to stop being a coward, at least in front of him.


    ¡°That I love him, yes,¡± I completed and the air around us became heavier, showing just how much those words had enraged him. ¡°It hurts me to know that I hurt him. I feel sad, knowing that I¡¯m the reason of his sadness. He used to be so bright, and now ... and I feel like it was me, who stole his light.¡±


    ¡°Then is it because of the Contract? Is that the reason why you¡¯re here, and not there? With him?¡± he asked in an icy murmur, refusing to look at me, and that sharp pain pierced my chest again.


    ¡°No, not anymore,¡± I whispered, but it looked like he didn¡¯t hear me.


    ¡°If you want to be with him, just go!¡± he told me, raising his voice, and the glass of the windows shook as if about to break.


    Gabriel took a deep breath, resting his forehead on the tips of his fingers and seemed to focus on controlling the intensity of his presence that, even from where he sat, already had me shivering.


    The shadow his bent body had become left a bitter taste in my mouth. I felt him alone again, and that idea was like a dagger piercing my heart. Because, in the end, he was always alone, even when surrounded by those who knew him, like Lea and Alexander. Constantly restraining himself, constantly tying himself up from the inside out, in a dark place where no one could ever reach him, for hundreds of years.


    I stood up, using the wall behind me for support, and went to him in slow steps, waiting, at any moment, for a more brusque reaction. And yet he didn¡¯t even move, and I couldn¡¯t help thinking how much he looked like a Human on the brink of despair.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    I recalled other moments when I¡¯d wished I could hug him and comfort him. Back then I couldn¡¯t even get close to him, my own existence rejecting his. But now everything had changed.


    I slid my fingers between his soft, dark hair and he seemed even quieter. Although I couldn¡¯t stop trembling, I pulled him close, until his head was against my stomach, surprised at how easily he allowed my hand to guide him, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°I¡¯m exactly where I want to be,¡± I said without a shadow of a doubt, and that certainty actually made me feel more relaxed. ¡°And the Contract ... the Contract is the only thing that binds us together, and the reason why you¡¯re here. And if I don¡¯t want it to be fulfilled, it¡¯s because you would probably leave afterwards,¡± I added, drawing small, soft circles with the tips of my fingers on his head.


    ¡°And what if you had to choose?¡± he asked, his velvet voice sounding muffled, and I was instantly frozen in place.


    It wasn¡¯t as if I hadn¡¯t asked myself that same question, certain that he would end up asking it, but until that point, I was yet to reach an acceptable answer.


    ¡°That is impossible for me,¡± I confessed openly.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m not Human?


    I thought about it for a moment. I couldn¡¯t deny the weight that that had, and how much the differences between us pulled us apart. But I still wasn¡¯t sure it would be any easier to choose if he were just another one of my classmates.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± He raised his head, making me release him from my touch, and I was dazed, for a moment, lost in the perfection of his face. ¡°Are you angry? Annoyed? Sad?¡±


    ¡°Happy ... because you¡¯re here.¡±


    I smiled at his answer, and touched his face, sliding my fingers over his soft, cold skin. He closed his eyes, like I¡¯d seen him do to feel the rain, and I traced the perfect lines of his face, as if I were the one molding that perfect statue. The complete absence of any imperfections made his skin totally inhuman and, if it weren¡¯t for the electrical sensation that tingled in my fingers, I could have sworn that there was no life inside him.


    I drew his ears, lost in their anatomical perfection, and traced the thin cords that were the muscles of his neck, detecting a light slow, beating rhythm from far away.


    ¡°Your skin ... is so strange,¡± I murmured, noticing that the texture was always the same, and Gabriel smiled, opening his eyes to look at me.


    ¡°Strange is the feeling of your touch.¡±


    I immediately pulled my hands away, suddenly aware of what I¡¯d just done, and he laughed.


    ¡°It¡¯s only because I¡¯ve been curious about it for a long time now!¡± I claimed in my defense, completely flustered. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean anything special!¡±


    ¡°But it was special ... for me. I don¡¯t remember anyone ever touching me, unless they were trying to destroy me.¡± I faced him seriously, knowing that he was referring to the other Deiwos, and he smiled again. ¡°Ah, except Lea, of course.¡±


    ¡°And other Humans?¡± I asked and immediately condemned the true source of that question, hurriedly trying to disguise it. ¡°I mean, everyone at school, they didn¡¯t have any problems being close to you, unlike me, who can¡¯t stop shaking.¡±


    ¡°Mostly coerced cold and distant touches that want more than they¡¯re willing to give. Yes, I¡¯ve had plenty of those,¡± he said. ¡°But, when left on their own, Humans tend to avoid me, just as much as I avoid them. They¡¯re too frail and complicated.¡±


    I stood silent, avoiding saying anything else for fear that I¡¯d end up saying what I didn¡¯t want to say.


    ¡°Before Lea came to me, there were times when I spent my days in the Human world. I was young and in search of something that could fill the emptiness inside me, something that would pose a challenge, since everyone seemed to fear me and, for that reason, avoid me. At least Humans, when properly influenced, can even treat me as their equal. And here no one knew who I was, and I could easily play with their stupidity and innocence. Two words and a smile were enough to make them forget their own primal instincts, and they would walk and talk with me, completely oblivious of my true nature. I even ended up spending a couple of Human lives here, helping ones and harming others, as if the world were no more than a huge doll house. And, obviously, I had many lovers, whom I freely manipulated according to my desires, using them as pawns in my games. However, none of the ones I allowed to touch me lasted for long.¡±


    Once more I felt him expecting a reaction from me, as if what he¡¯d just told me was just another test to my persistence.


    ¡°Although to them such actions could be seen as expressions of affection, I always felt as if something, somehow inferior to me, had just touched me,¡± he explained. ¡°And the way they always lost themselves in my arms, always wanting more, unable to think, trying to find new ways to seduce me, it made me want to kill them, certain that afterwards I¡¯d be able to enjoy some blessed quiet moments.¡±


    I stood silent, my heart beating hard against my chest, and raised one hand to touch the lips that so coldly had spoken those words. The warmth from his breath touched my fingertips, contrasting with the cold of his skin. I still remembered the feeling of the gentle kiss he¡¯d given me the night before and, even after hearing what he¡¯d just said, I still couldn¡¯t help wanting to feel it again.


    However, the words I¡¯d been restraining since before were still persistently tumbling around in my brain, and I hated myself even more for not being able to contain them.


    ¡°But not Steph,¡± I muttered and he seemed surprised for an instant, pulling away from my touch.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t say things like that, Mariane. Not when I¡¯m trying this hard to behave,¡± he grunted, but I wasn¡¯t up to letting him escape my question, since I¡¯d had been shameless enough to bring it up in the first place.


    ¡°She was different,¡± I insisted and Gabriel sighed.


    ¡°Of course she was. She was important to you.¡±


    ¡°Is that all?¡± I pressed on and he seemed amused.


    ¡°That¡¯s all. In truth I never even raised a single finger to touch her. And besides, if she were an important existence to me, I wouldn¡¯t be here with you.¡± My heart responded automatically to his words.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m important to you,¡± I tried, looking for a confirmation, and his expression became almost grave.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Inexplicably, his soft whisper brought pain to my chest, even though he¡¯d just said what I¡¯d been wanting to hear, and I found myself unable to believe his words.


    ¡°Prove it,¡± I demanded and was immediately silent. Those words, those were the same words Michael had said to me, what he had asked of me. Something, anything more concrete than mere beautiful words. Something that I¡¯d been unable to give him.


    I was pulled to a side by my blouse, which startled me and dragged me away from my bleak thoughts, and I lost my balance, ending up sitting on his leg. The cold fingers that touched my face made me jump, since I hadn¡¯t realized how close we were. And I blinked, still trying to make sense of what had just happened.


    ¡°What did I just tell you? About the things you shouldn¡¯t say?¡± he asked in a deep voice that left me completely dazed, and his crooked smile was all the warning I got before he pulled me again by my cotton blouse, making me fall backwards.


    I lost my breath somewhere before hitting the soft quilt of my bed and watched in panic when he leaned over me. My hands flexed nervously and all my trembling muscles became stiff.


    Gabriel smiled again, this time that amused smile of his that so many times had annoyed me in the past, and placed an elbow right beside my shoulder, resting his head on his hand to look at me.

 Chapter 27 - Part 2

    ¡°So? What kind of proof are we requiring?¡± he asked me jokingly, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. My legs were still hanging over his and, although he didn¡¯t touch me otherwise, I still couldn¡¯t move a single strand of hair. ¡°Mariane, are you afraid of me?¡±


    I don¡¯t know if it was the power of my name in his voice, or the implications of that question. But somehow I was able to break through the cold fear that blocked my mind and relax a bit.


    I raised a hand that wouldn¡¯t stop shaking, almost thankful that that was my normal state when he was this close to me. The nervousness burning my stomach would have made me shiver anyway, which would have been even more embarrassing.


    I touched his face as he watched me completely motionless and smiled. And then, as if my touch had the power to bring statues back to life, I saw him move slowly, leaning over me, until his lips touched my forehead. I lost my breath at the soft electric touch of his skin and heard him sigh.


    ¡°This is torture,¡± he muttered, but instead of pulling away, his lips slid down my face, caressing my skin, kissing me softly, making me gasp for air at every new touch.


    The tips of his cold fingers slid trembling over my neck and the notion that he could probably feel the thunder that was my heartbeat made me even more nervous. As if he¡¯d read my thoughts I heard him chuckle, and his lips touched my skin right below the curve of my chin.


    I shuddered when he kissed me and my heart jumped when his kiss became more intense, unlike the other feather-like kisses he¡¯d given me where he barely touched me. His mouth was opening and closing over my throat, his teeth occasionally scraping my skin, and my body caught on fire, as I dug my hands in his hair to keep him close. I opened my mouth, searching for words that my mind refused to formulate and my gasping breath became embarrassingly audible.


    ¡°Nyx,¡± I murmured, trying not to be swallowed by his intensity, and his cold fingers traced my clavicle, making me tingle at the contrast of his icy cold skin and his molting hot breath.


    Gabriel raised his head to look at me, releasing me form his incandescent kiss, and I was lost in the feverish glow of his eyes. His fingers slid down my chest, making the small buttons open at his passage, and stopped as he found the band of my bra, softly caressing the skin there, leaving me breathless. It was only when his cold hand slid under my blouse that I was finally able to react, and with a trembling hand I held his with all my strength, making it stop.


    I realized his feverish gaze was gone and his lips were softly kissing my bare chest. I pushed him back by one of his shoulders, even though I knew I would never be strong enough to do it, and the embarrassing moan that escaped my lips made me bite my tongue. His kiss was piercing me, as if he could really touch my heart, or even kiss my Soul. And my antagonist hand lost its strength and determination, freeing his and allowing his fingers to resume tracing lines of ice over my scalding skin.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I felt completely lost, certainly unable to resist him, and, although I did long for his touch, the pain inside me made me sob. I knew I would be his right then, if he so wished, and I would be his of my own free will. And yet, fear coursed through my veins every time I wondered what would happen next, when he looked back at me and finally understood that, in the end, I was just as uninteresting as any other Human he¡¯d met. Maybe he¡¯d kill me then, and death didn¡¯t sound all that bad. But, if he were to simply leave me behind, like how he¡¯d done with Steph ...


    Despair took over me and, since I couldn¡¯t push him away, I threw my arms around him and held him with all my strength.


    ¡°Nyx! Stop. Please stop!¡± I sobbed, trying to coordinate my gasping breathing with words, and, at the sudden forced contact of my embrace, he pulled immediately away, supporting his weight on his hands; and I was sure he would be standing on the far side of my room if I had let go of his neck.


    We were silent for a moment, my lonely sobs echoing all around us, and still I wouldn¡¯t let go, knowing that if I did he¡¯d go somewhere far away from me, just so I could calm down.


    Finally his lips touched my cheek in a light kiss, which unexpectedly made me relax and, when I opened my eyes, his worried expression surprised me so much I even forgot to sob. He smiled, seeing I¡¯d regained my self-control and I couldn¡¯t help blush.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, it was never my int ...¡± I placed a hand over his lips, silencing those words, and looked harshly at him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be! I don¡¯t want anyone feeling sorry for anything!¡± I told him and he kissed my fingers, making me instinctively recoil my hand.


    Gabriel laughed at my embarrassment and took a deep breath.


    ¡°Really, I amaze myself ... with this my new found ability to resist you, even when I want you this much,¡± he declared and I caressed his skin only for the pleasure of feeling its strange, fresh texture beneath my hands. ¡°I guess that I really don¡¯t want you to cry or suffer because of me, after all. I just wish time could stop. But since I know it can¡¯t be done, I wonder, how long will I be allowed to stay by your side? And, if I do stay by your side, how long will you be able to bear my presence, knowing I¡¯m straying you away from your destined path?¡±


    ¡°I''m the same. I also wonder how long you will find me ... interesting,¡± I confessed, using the word he so much appreciated. ¡°I¡¯m sure that there are many other Gaalgha out there, many much more attractive than I am. I ask myself what right do I have to keep you here, when staying here puts you in danger. Besides, time will pass for me, and I will grow old, but you, you will always be like this, inhumanely beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Even if you die, I will never allow you to leave! And if you do return to this world, I will look for you everywhere! And I will find you!¡± He spoke with such conviction that I couldn¡¯t help laugh. It sounded like one of those promises that children make when they still believe effort and willpower will solve everything.

 Chapter 27 - Part 3

    I rose on my elbows and kissed him. I hadn¡¯t planned to do it, and I didn¡¯t think about it in that moment. But the rigid statue that he immediately became made me uncomfortably aware of my actions.


    ¡°I was about to say I¡¯m sorry, but since I was just angry with you for saying it ...¡± I mumbled, averting my gaze, too aware of the awkwardness of the entire situation,  and I wish I could hide in some deep hole.


    ¡°Do it again.¡± I looked at him in disbelief and was mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze. I had been sure he¡¯d just rejected me, and yet ... ¡°Kiss me, Mariane.¡±


    His warm breath caressed my face with each word and I didn¡¯t know how to refuse him, even if I wanted to. I pressed my lips against his in a soft and painfully innocent kiss that wasn¡¯t more than a touch of lips against lips, but that still made me blush up to my ears.


    I pulled back, still apprehensive, and saw him opening his eyes, as if he¡¯d just woken from a dream, and waited expectantly for his reaction. His soft laughter was disturbing, and embarrassing, and I felt my temperature rise.


    ¡°You kiss like a child,¡± he told me critically, and I buried my face in the quilt, refusing to keep looking at him.


    ¡°You were the one who asked me to kiss you!¡± I grunted and he laughed again.


    ¡°Yes. And I must confess you didn¡¯t disappoint me one bit. It was exactly what I¡¯d expected from you,¡± he went on and I gave him an angry look.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m so sorry for my lack of experience! But at least I¡¯m not afraid to touch you, unlike someone I know! And I¡¯m sure you could feel my kiss, unlike the one you gave me yesterday,¡± I retorted and his smile became colder.


    ¡°True, I¡¯m afraid to touch you, because your body is too frail. But that¡¯s not why I won¡¯t kiss you.¡± I waited for him to explain and Gabriel sighed. ¡°If I really kiss you you¡¯ll probably get addicted to me. And I will never be able to resist you if you throw yourself at me.¡±


    It was my turn to laugh. Of course I still remembered what he¡¯d said about that. But really! Didn¡¯t he notice just how ridiculous it sounded when he said it like that?If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°Addicted to you?¡± I repeated, still laughing, and took a deep breath.


    ¡°I really like hearing you laugh like that near me,¡± he said with a delighted smile. ¡°When I hear you laugh like that I¡¯m certain that you¡¯re not pretending, and that those tremors really don¡¯t correspond to your feelings.¡±


    ¡°So silly,¡± I grumbled. How he could still be hanging on those kinds of insecurity, after all we¡¯d said and done, baffled me. ¡°Just kiss me, Nyx,¡± I asked, just like he¡¯d done, but he didn¡¯t comply, looking at me with a serious expression, ending up sighing.


    ¡°Mari, didn¡¯t you hear a single word of what I just said?¡± he asked me with a patient tone and I nodded. ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°If I do get addicted to you, you have my permission to do with me as you please,¡± I allowed, as if I were signing a term of responsibility, and he frowned.


    ¡°But it won¡¯t be you! It will be the same as controlling your feelings!¡± he complained almost childishly and I couldn¡¯t help smile, happily surprised.


    ¡°Oh, I see. I didn¡¯t know that that was so important to you,¡± I confessed and he looked even angrier. ¡°Okay then, you can tie me up and leave me here until I break out of my hangover, or whatever.¡±


    ¡°You never take anything seriously.¡±


    ¡°Yes I do. In fact, I¡¯m taking this really seriously.¡±


    ¡°All for one kiss?¡±


    ¡°Your kiss,¡± I added and blushed again as his eyes seemed to glow.


    Gabriel leaned over me and I shivered when his breath touched my skin.


    ¡°I promise I¡¯ll tie you up,¡± he whispered, his lips caressing mine with each word, and he kissed me softly, just like he¡¯d done before.


    I tried not to lose myself on the electric feeling of his skin, and tangled my fingers in his hair, looking for a more real contact. I felt as he hesitated for an instant, almost as if my initiative had caught him off guard, but when I thought he was going to pull away again, his mouth took over mine with such intensity that it sent my heart into a frenzy.


    His lips dragged mine, that didn¡¯t know how to keep up with him, and his mouth invaded my mouth time and time again, as if it were a territory he¡¯d decided to conquer. I was completely breathless at the slow but intense rhythm with which he repeatedly joined us together and I felt dizzy, almost about to faint.


    When he lazily pulled back, almost as if he were reluctant to do it, I had to fight ferociously against the impulse of using the hand that still caressed his hair to just keep him there, or better yet, to just pull him back to me.


    I looked up at him, still gasping for air, certain that he was watching me carefully, and unwillingly released him from my touch, smiling as I noticed that his pale lips had finally gained some color.


    ¡°It would seem I¡¯m immune to you,¡± I bragged, and he pulled back a bit more, taking a deep breath.


    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± he declared, surprising me, but, before I could question him, the door of my room was suddenly opened, making me jump at the sound of a small bell.

 Chapter 27 - Part 4

    I sat up, still dizzy, blushing even deeper, and noticed that he was staring at us with a frighteningly serious expression.


    ¡°Lea,¡± I started, but he ignored me and marched straight to Gabriel.


    ¡°What did you do to her?¡± he demanded in such an angry tone of accusation that I was beyond stunned. ¡°You promised you wouldn¡¯t touch her!¡± His once-tender voice sounded threateningly dangerous, and I tried to explain it once more.


    ¡°Lea ...¡±


    ¡°Answer me!¡± he shouted over my voice and my gaze turned to Gabriel, afraid of what he might do, but he was still lying on his side, just as he¡¯d been, looking at Lea as if he couldn¡¯t even see him.


    As he didn¡¯t answer him, Lea seemed to get even angrier, the hair on the back of his head starting to stand as his silver eyes glowed coldly, and I hurriedly grabbed him by his hand, and pulled him to me before he could do something really stupid.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, Lea!¡± I told him, holding his childish face between my hands so that he had to look at me, and his sorrowful expression was enough to tell me he didn¡¯t believe me for a second. ¡°I¡¯m really all right!¡± I insisted and he raised his small hand to gently touch my face in a comfort.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I should¡¯ve stayed closer,¡± he lamented with a sad look that seriously frustrated me.


    ¡°Leabhan, you should really hear what she¡¯s trying to say,¡± Gabriel whispered softly and Lea¡¯s angry gaze shot immediately towards him with pure hostility.


    ¡°I know what I saw!¡± he claimed once more in that grown-up tone, and I blushed again. ¡°And I thought you said you didn¡¯t want to make her do anything!¡±


    ¡°Lea, he didn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t make me do anything,¡± I told him and his face was suddenly taken by an incredulous expression of surprise.


    ¡°He ... didn¡¯t?¡± I just shook my head and Gabriel stretched and yawned lazily. ¡°Mari ...¡± He whispered my name still in disbelief, as if trying to process what I¡¯d just told him. ¡°Does that mean ... you like ... him?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yes. I do,¡± I admitted, too aware of Gabriel, staring at me, but Lea was still doubtful.


    ¡°Really? I mean, you really like him?¡±


    I recalled Lea¡¯s nature, his true origin, and smiled. ¡°Yes.¡±


    A surprisingly huge smile brightened his entire face and he hugged me, his small arms wrapping around my neck.


    ¡°That¡¯s great, Mari! Now I¡¯m not the only one!¡± he told me, laughing, and I felt relieved that he would accept all that mess so easily. I hadn¡¯t known what to do if he¡¯d been opposed to the idea of Gabriel and me together. And so an already embarrassing situation had just become even more embarrassing! ¡°I also like you very much!¡± he said, looking at me with that bright smile of his, and I lined a few disarrayed strands of his hair.


    ¡°I like you too,¡± I replied and his mischievous smile was all the warning I got, although I could never be fast enough to react in time. With a sudden inhuman strength, Lea¡¯s small hands pulled me closer and he kissed my lips, just like he¡¯d done when we¡¯d established our agreement.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    ¡°Suileabhan!!¡± The thunder of that voice made my stomach squirm and, in the next instant, Lea was no longer standing in front of me but tangled in Gabriel¡¯s arms, which threatened to strangle him to death. The child laughed, kicking the air while trying to free himself, and I looked at the both of them, still wondering if Gabriel was joking or serious. ¡°How dare you? Only I can kiss Mari!¡± he stated full of conviction, baffling me with his ability to say something like that out loud and with such a straight face.


    ¡°But I was the one who kissed her first!¡± Lea countered, still laughing, and Gabriel looked at me stunned.


    ¡°What!¡±


    ¡°We made an agreement,¡± I explained, amused at the persistent way Gabriel kept holding onto him, although Lea was kicking and waving his arms all over the place.


    ¡°What agreement?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a secret! It¡¯s a secret, right, Mari?¡± Lea said, his childish voice filling the room and I smiled.


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Gabriel pulled Lea by the collar of his sweater as if he really were a cat and looked at him, threateningly.


    ¡°What agreement?¡± he inquired. ¡°That she may hide things from me, there¡¯s nothing I can do. But, you ...?¡± Lea seemed to calm down and took a deep breath, tired from all that laughing. ¡°So?¡± he insisted and, with a quick movement, Lea licked his face.


    ¡°Master, are you angry at me?¡± he murmured and Gabriel frowned.


    ¡°Don¡¯t change the subject!¡±


    ¡°But ... I said all those things,¡± Lea went on in a shy, regretfull voice, and Gabriel ended up sighing.


    ¡°I¡¯m not angry at you, Suileabhan. I know Mari is important to you and that you were only trying to protect her.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so glad!¡± Lea said with a bright smile back on his face.


    ¡°But what the heck is going on here?¡± Alexander¡¯s demanding voice made me jump to my feet, and only then did I notice the undone buttons of my blouse. In an immediate gesture, I turned my back to the door and re-buttoned them as fast as I could. ¡°I send the cat to call you and all I hear is screaming and laughter.¡±


    I ran my hands over my face to make sure everything was as it should be, and then I saw Jonathan, standing right behind Alexander, staring fixedly at me, which Alexander seemed to notice.


    ¡°Jonathan was too worried about your burnt roast and literally massacred me into using Magic to make it eatable again,¡± Alexander declared and the boy took a step back, lowering his head, obviously embarrassed. ¡°Since we agreed no powers in the house so not to draw too much attention, and since he wouldn¡¯t shut up, we went shopping and tried to duplicate your recipe.¡± I blinked in complete disbelief. ¡°Of course, neither of us is that experienced in kitchen matters, but by the looks of things it doesn¡¯t seem all that bad.¡±


    ¡°And I was coming to tell you that lunch is ready,¡± Lea added, still smiling, and Gabriel stood up with his usual slow movements, carrying Lea under his arm as if he were no more than a sack of potatoes. Lea squealed and laughed again, kicking the air, but Gabriel just went on, as if he couldn¡¯t even feel him.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go then,¡± he simply said, but his violet eyes looked amused, even pleased, at the sound of Lea¡¯s laughter.


    Alexander stepped to the side to let him through, and followed him, poking the ¡®cat¡¯ and nagging him, telling him that he did look like a sack of potatoes.


    I was finally able to stop trembling and walked to the door, warning myself that the truce would be brief. And then noticed that Jonathan had stayed behind, waiting for me.


    I smiled awkwardly, remembering that no matter what I did he had always refused to talk to me all that time, and looked for something smart to say.


    ¡°Thank you. You really didn¡¯t have to worry about it,¡± I pointed out, but he looked at me with an intimidating expression.


    ¡°Mariane, if you are thinking about running away, now is the time! You should do it while you still can,¡± he added in a whisper. The smile that up till then had stubbornly persisted on my lips withered away. ¡°Your Guardian is about to wake up. And when he does, the life you now know, all this, will be over,¡± he said without the shadow of a doubt and turned to walk away towards the stairs, leaving me behind still confused about what I¡¯d just heard.


    I just couldn¡¯t understand how, just seconds ago, I¡¯d felt so happy and fulfilled, and now those simple words had stolen it all away, leaving me cold and empty.

 Chapter 28 - Part 1

    ZOM


    1</sup> ¨C


    ¡°If they tell me I¡¯m condemned, I won¡¯t doubt it.


    It¡¯s of my own free will that I dive into the darkness that, with arms wide open, invites me in.


    And, for your arms of ice around my trembling, naked body, condemning my Soul seems a small price to pay ¡­¡±


    Alexander''s and Jonathan¡¯s late lunch was really more of a feast than of a simple lunch, easily erasing the heavy weight that Jonathan¡¯s words had left me.


    They¡¯d set the table in the living room, under the excuse that we¡¯d never fit in the kitchen, and the decoration was much like one would expect to find in a first class restaurant. I didn¡¯t even question the origin of the golden hand-painted plates, or the tall delicate crystal glasses. The tablecloth was pure white linen and there were dark-red velvet pillows on each and every chair.


    Lea skipped around the table, climbing onto a chair so that he could see the contents of the golden platters, and his silver eyes gleamed with anticipation.


    Maybe it was because we were all together, or maybe because we were having lunch in the living room, a place where we only ate on special occasions, but I remembered to go and get my mother¡¯s small digital camera, that, after a few brief explanations, was delivered into Lea¡¯s curious hands. He immediately started taking pictures, flashing the camera everywhere, and I smiled at his childish happiness.


    I served them all feeling strangely comfortable in the middle of the ruckus they made. Even Jonathan, I noticed, smiled when Lea started taking pictures of the plates filled with food as if they were true pieces of art.


    It was as if we were just normal people, I thought. As if there weren¡¯t any powers, or differences, and no war to be fought somewhere. I recalled Gabriel¡¯s words when he¡¯d said he wished time could stop, and I wished it too. There, near them, I felt like I was living in another world, a world where my pains and sufferings simply had no place.


    We sat at the table long after there was nothing left, either from the veal or from the vanilla pudding they¡¯d made. And I just kept quiet, listening as they shared normal everyday things that they¡¯d seen and considered interesting. Alexander had seen a dog dressed in a coat, to which Lea immediately added that he¡¯d seen a lady using a dog¡¯s collar. Gabriel had found strange the man in the uniform, waving his arms in the air in the middle of the street, trying to command the cars around him and make the machines obey him; surely Humans had enough knowledge and technology to find a better way to avoid traffic jams. Lea wanted a pair of sneakers with flashing lights and wheels. Alexander still couldn¡¯t understand how it was possible that hours of moving pictures could fit into something as small and thin as a DVD.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    No one talked about serious matters, like combat strategies or Telane¡¯s disappearance. No one wanted to burst that false and fleeting bubble of happiness, trying to extend it to its limits.


    It was already dark outside when the phone rang, interrupting our conversation. My heart jumped at the shrieking sound and I immediately knew who it was, and yet wished I could pretend I hadn¡¯t heard it and just remain sitting with them.


    Gabriel¡¯s gaze on me turned hard and cold, and it was so I didn¡¯t have to face it any longer that I finally stood up and ran to the corridor.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Mari ..." Michael¡¯s voice sounded hoarse and spent, reopening the wound that had torn me inside that morning and which I¡¯d somehow managed to forget.


    ¡°Michael,¡± I murmured, not knowing what else to say, and he sighed heavily.


    ¡°Mari ¡­ I¡¯m really sorry for what happened,¡± he said, struggling against his own words, and the pain that filled me inside stole my strength away, forcing me to hold on to the small dresser just so I could keep standing. I didn¡¯t want him to be sorry! The fault was all mine. ¡°I don¡¯t know what came over me. To tell you the truth, I haven¡¯t been feeling all that well and I know it¡¯s no excuse, but I wanted you to know and maybe ... forgive me.¡±


    I felt myself falling into a dark pit of despair.


    ¡°Michael! There¡¯s nothing to forgive! Please believe me. All this, all this mess, I¡¯m the only one to blame! If anyone should be asking for forgiveness, then it¡¯s me. I was the one who dragged you into all this,¡± I added, my voice breaking halfway, and he was silent for a moment.


    ¡°I wish ... I wish I could see you right now just to make sure you don¡¯t ... despise me. But I¡¯m afraid of what I might do,¡± he said softly and the tremors that made me shiver were warning enough of his proximity. I looked back, over my shoulder, and was faced with his cold, harsh gaze that filled me with dread, while Michael¡¯s voice, on the other side of the phone, tore a deep gash in my heart. ¡°I¡¯m probably not going to school, tomorrow. I¡¯ll take the weekend off and try to ... sort things out. And then maybe we can talk Monday?¡±


    ¡°Yes ... sure, of course.¡± I felt like crying.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you Monday then.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± I replied and felt him hesitate.


    ¡°See you.¡±


    The pain that pierced my chest stole my breath away and the idea that he was about to hang up, cutting off that frail connection that had been reestablished between us sent me swirling down a spiral of panic.


    ¡°Wait!¡± I called out, before he could hang up, my hand shaking as I pressed the receiver against my ear, and the words just flowed out of my mouth, cruel words, but still words I just couldn¡¯t stop myself from saying. ¡°Michael! Please listen! And please, please don¡¯t answer,¡± I told him and he waited in silence, as my throat dried. ¡°I ... just need you to know ... that ... I do love you! Even though I may not show it. I¡¯ve always loved you, since the moment I first saw you.¡±


    He kept silent as my heart drummed against my throat, until I finally heard him breathe in, and his hoarse voice filled my ears again.


    ¡°See you Monday.¡±


    Disappointment washed over me, as if I¡¯d been expecting something else, even though I¡¯d been the one making unreasonable demands, forbidding him to give me any other answer.


    ¡°See you Monday, Michael,¡± I forced myself to answer and the line went dead, leaving me only with that repetitive sound ringing in my ears.


    The terrifying shadow that hovered over me ripped the phone from my hands, throwing it hard against the wall, plastic pieces flying everywhere. I cowered instinctively against the dresser, in a sharp gasp that didn¡¯t even give me time to scream, and his white hand stopped inches from my face, trembling furiously, as if it had been held back by invisible chains. His crimson eyes were pure hatred, making me sink into a pool of dark terror. And then, the hand that almost touched me crashed against the wall, right beside my head, making me jump, and I heard pieces of plaster falling on the floor. His face came so close to mine that I could feel his sweet scent and, even shaking in terror, I still wished he would touch me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be going now before I do something really stupid.¡± I heard his voice in a cold hiss and his lips touched mine that kept trembling, in the cruelest most empty of kisses, before he disappeared in a thin rain of dark glitter.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 28 - Part 2

    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    </a>


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    </a>


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±


    A/N: I¡¯m back!! (Clearly ...) And I¡¯m dead tired, even though the week has just started. I almost fell asleep 5 times while reviewing this chapter -_- But since I had promised I¡¯d update the latest on Tuesday, here it is. ^_^


    Please let me know if you find any mistakes (which considering the state of things is very possible ...)


    2 more chapters to go. If I have the time I¡¯ll upload them this week.


    I hope you enjoy it. And if you do don¡¯t forget to leave your comments and reviews! ^_^ That way I¡¯ll also get to understand if I should keep uploading more books or no.


    For those of you that usually leave comments for me, thank you!! The author loves you! ??


    Wish you all a wonderful week!


    That night it took me a very long time to fall asleep, my head too full to grant me a moment of peace.


    I tried reading a book, like I used to do when I couldn¡¯t sleep, but just couldn¡¯t focus enough, ending up having to read the same sentences more than once. Inevitably, I hoped and waited for Gabriel¡¯s return, constantly searching the air for his presence, but he never came back.


    I tortured myself with questions, wondering where he¡¯d gone or what he was doing after leaving like that. I feared he¡¯d gone after Telane, and only the idea that Lea had gone after him left me a bit more at ease.


    I finally ended up falling asleep, too tired to keep waiting any longer, and the dream where Michael was lying dead at my feet came back to torment me. I was sure that I¡¯d be seeing the same nightmare the whole night, as it frequently happened with my recurring dreams, but suddenly the scene around me changed, and I was no longer sitting on that cold, hard floor.


    I was outside, it was night, and it was raining. The cold made me shiver but even so I didn¡¯t look for a place to take shelter. The icy cold water drenched my hair, dripping down my face, making me colder by the minute, and I opened a hand, allowing the drops of rain to slowly slide over my skin.


    The cold rain touched my lips, almost as it was kissing me, and I closed my eyes as my blood slowly warmed, pushing the cold away.


    ¡±Mari ¡­¡±


    I jumped suddenly awake and was immediately still, not knowing if I was really awake. But, as I looked into those eerily eyes gleaming in the darkness, my heart raced, stealing my breath away.


    The tip of his fingers touched my lips again, sliding over my skin, and I knew that he¡¯d been the one who¡¯d save me from my nightmare, and that I¡¯d been dreaming about him. And yet, I could very well still be dreaming, I mused, too dazed by his surreal appearance, certain that someone like him couldn¡¯t possibly exist in the same world I did.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you,¡± he whispered and slightly pulled away, making me feel cold again at the loss of his touch. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to, but ... I just needed to make sure you could still look at me, that you wouldn¡¯t reject me.¡±


    My feelings were a mix of anger for his constant doubts and happiness that he¡¯d come back; of desire for his touch, and pain for the pain in his voice.


    In an impulse I pulled the quilt back and, as he watched me with a disturbed expression, crawled on my hands and knees across the bed, and sat on his lap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and he was immediately stiff as if his muscles had turned into stone.


    ¡°Did you put the phone back?¡± I asked and he nodded, almost automatically. ¡°And the hole in the wall?¡± His expression became darker as if the question had reminded him of something he¡¯d rather forget. ¡°If you still haven¡¯t fixed it, do it in the morning.¡± I demanded, noticing he wasn¡¯t going to answer, and dared touch the skin of his neck, ending up wrapping my arms around him.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His warning tone made me aware of just how close our faces were and I faced him with a teasing smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯re so afraid to break me, as if I were some porcelain doll, just be still,¡± I told him, almost touching his lips, and kissed him, giving way to my irresistible desire to feel the contrast between his cold lips and the warmth of his mouth against mine.


    I tangled my fingers in his soft hair, the strange feeling making me shiver, and pressed my body against his, trying to provoke him, to draw a reaction out of him, any reaction, even if painful, as long as it showed me that he wanted me at least as much as I wanted him. And yet, no matter what I did, he remained that unfeeling, cold statue.


    Gabriel sat still, allowing his lips to be dragged by mine as if he¡¯d given them as a plaything to a child. His cold tranquility, compared to my labored breath made me annoyingly flustered, and even more desperate to break his stone-like face.


    I kissed my way down his neck, addicted to the electrifying feeling of his skin, and was even more frustrated when I felt his heartbeat under my lips, calm and rhythmic, and as indifferent as he looked. I still remembered the feverish gaze with which he¡¯d looked at me before. And told myself it couldn¡¯t all have disappeared over a single phone call!


    I felt sick and dizzy at the memory of Michael¡¯s voice. It was exactly as I¡¯d predicted; I was losing them both. And just the idea of that being possible left my mind submerged in chaos.


    Desperately, I told myself that at least Gabriel wouldn¡¯t be able to leave me that easily, and yet I recalled seeing his Contract mark cut in two, almost an indistinct red smear over his white skin. My trembling nervous hands were moving before I could even think, undoing the buttons of his shirt as fast as my clumsy fingers would allow it. And there it was, I almost sighed in relief, touching the small mark over his heart, as perfect as I remembered it, not a single hint that it had been so savagely cut. Its color had grown paler, like my mark, but the lines of the strange symbol were intact and, like my own, unnoticeable to the touch. I smiled melancholically as I remembered just how hard I¡¯d tried to find a way to get rid of it, in a time where those marks had meant my complete destruction. Now, only the thought that that might happen made me cringe, sick to the stomach, about to drown in total despair. And so, as if to reinforce that frail link that bound us, I placed a light kiss on that exact place, the same place I¡¯d kissed when we¡¯d first met.


    I felt him shudder ever so slightly and yet that had been a reaction! A deep feeling of happiness washed over me. I wondered if it felt differently, being touched there, and I recalled the burning sensation his kiss had left on my wrist. Either way, the simple idea of having been able to break the block of ice he had become, even if it meant that it hurt, was enough to make me kiss him again, and again, and again, torturing him repeatedly, a wave of pleasure cursing through me every time his body unwillingly shuddered.


    ¡°Mariane ¡­ enough.¡± I heard his voice in a low whisper that made me smile since he was even talking now, and I kissed him one more time.


    I couldn¡¯t tell exactly what happened. Just that a huge hand was suddenly wrapped around my arm, cooling my skin even through my clothes, and I was pulled up. Cold fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it painfully, making me raise my head. And harsh lips kissed mine, hungrily stealing my breath and any words of complaint.


    I was lost for a moment between the pain his hands gave me and the intensity of his kiss, a kiss that I had longed for, free of fears and restrictions. I couldn¡¯t recall ever feeling his hands so real, so firm, on my body, and the way he was kissing me was quickly sweeping away any rational thoughts.


    And yet, beyond the restlessness that filled me, and the desire that he would kiss me like that forever, I clearly knew I could never allow him to hurt me. If anything went wrong because we were together, he¡¯d probably use that as an excuse to leave me again. And so I made use of my free hand, pushing his chin back, and placed my hand between our lips, since the way he held me wouldn¡¯t allow me any other movements. The hand entangled in my hair pulled my head back even more, making me groan in pain, and cold lips attacked my throat, almost as if he wanted to devour me.


    I stared up at the ceiling lost in the darkness around us and had to fight once more against my will to simply allow him to do as he pleased, as long as he kept kissing me and touching me. By then, part of my mind was even trying to convince me that it was okay even if he killed me, as long as he wouldn¡¯t let go of me. At least I would die in his arms and would never have to live through the devastating pain that awaited me once he left again, which would inevitably happen.


    I used my free hand to caress his soft hair and forced my brain to focus on what was important, searching for the right words, anticipating how disturbed he would be once he was back to himself and aware that he¡¯d lost control over his own emotions. The hand around my arm was becoming really painful and I was sure his fingers would be marked in dark bruises on my skin for a long time. Besides, I was beginning to fear that any more strength and my bones would end up cracking, the thought making my mind even clearer, free from the dreaming enchantment brought by his touch.


    I took a deep breath, looking for my voice, and he nibbled my earlobe making my body quiver.


    ¡°Nyx, let go of my hair,¡± I asked, but he didn¡¯t seem to hear me, his mouth dancing and licking my neck. I placed my hand over his and tried to pry his stone hard fingers open. ¡°Nyx!¡± I complained, as his hand was practically unmovable and, incredibly enough his fingers gave in, releasing me, allowing me to finally move my head again. I placed a brief kiss on his bare shoulder, since his opened shirt had slid down his back, and tried to figure out the best way to make him release my arm next.


    In the next moment, and before I could understand what had happened, he¡¯d already done it, and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me with too much strength against his chest.


    I couldn¡¯t breathe and, even when I tried, the pressure on my ribs wouldn¡¯t allow the air to fill my lunges. His scent invaded my brain, making me dizzy, and the way he held me made me uncomfortably aware of all the forms of his perfect body and of just how much he really desired me. His mouth searched for mine, once again, and mercilessly ravaged my lips, tearing the soft skin, leaving a coppery taste in my mouth. I put my arms around his neck to hold him close, as if that would be enough to stop him from running away, and pulled his hair as hard as I could to put an end to that delicious, but completely twisted kiss.


    My gasping breath filled the air once again, and I looked at him, fearing I¡¯d find something like guilt or remorse. The feverish glow of his gaze made me blush, setting my chest on fire, as he kept trying to reach my lips again, which made me pull his hair even harder, hoping to keep him still for a few seconds.


    ¡°Your arms ... less strength,¡± I whispered and, to my surprise, he released me again, leaving that frightening feeling of emptiness in his place.


    However, in the next moment, he was holding my wrists, making me dizzy at how fast he¡¯d moved, forcing me to relinquish the hold I had on him. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his hard chest, and then I was lying on my back, and he was kissing me avidly.


    My heart felt like it was about to explode when his hand slid up my leg, pulling it up against his waist. It was the first time I felt his full weight over me, and the way our bodies seemed to mold themselves to one another erased all other thoughts from my mind. I thought that I had finally succumbed to the addicting drug that was his kiss, but, right then, even if that was so I couldn¡¯t care less. The way he was holding me and manipulating my body left me completely lost in sensations I¡¯d never experienced before. And although I couldn¡¯t help feeling scared of his intensity, my body kept reflexively answering his, making sure he wouldn¡¯t pull away.


    His cold hands traced the soft curves of my chest, awaking a fiery desire I could hardly keep under control, and finally slid under my top, directly against my skin, making me shiver. His lips left mine, kissing my face and neck again, and I bit the back of my hand making sure that I¡¯d seal my embarrassing voice when his cold fingers drew circles over my skin.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± The sound of my name in his voice sent an electrical current throughout my entire body, and his warm sigh left me completely surrendered. ¡°If you knew how much I want you ... I can hardly restrain myself.¡±


    My heart beat even faster, if that was possible, and fear burned in my stomach. But still I found myself smiling while I caressed the soft hair gently brushing against my face.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I promised and he took a deep breath, raising his head to look at me. I immediately noticed that his eyes were different, that he was finally back to himself, that he¡¯d managed to put his own desire under control, and that he¡¯d gone back to acting according to his mind and not according to the frighteningly intense and unstopping river that were his chaotic emotions.


    ¡°If I made you mine, right now,¡± he whispered gently, touching my face with the tips of his fingers and I felt completely captivated by the magnetic pull of his voice. ¡°The marks I¡¯d leave in your being, no one would ever be able to erase them. Because, even among Human standards, you¡¯re still a child, and this soft, warm body is as pure and untouched as your Soul. If someone like me breaks that Seal, even if I do not wish to steal your light, it will leave an eternal mark on your Soul. Because I¡¯m Shedim, I¡¯d probably end up corrupting you. You would belong to me for the rest of your eternity,¡± he claimed and I smiled, touching his soft lips that had kissed me so many times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°I do. You would belong to me, but not because you chose me ... only because I made you mine first.¡± I felt the blood freeze in my veins and he smiled coldly as if he were aware of it. ¡°It would be the same as manipulating your will, all because of one night. It¡¯s too easy for me, to do that to a Human child like you. You wouldn¡¯t even notice you were being manipulated, believing that this was really your choice. Only I would know the truth.¡±


    ¡°I want to be with you!¡± I declared and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if to comfort or appease me.


    ¡°I believe you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand you at all!¡± I accused and buried my nails in his bare shoulder as if that could make him pay closer attention to what I was trying to say. ¡°I love you! I can¡¯t live without you!¡± I told him in one breath, embarrassed and flustered, but his expression didn¡¯t even flicker.


    ¡°Those are two completely different things, from which I can only understand the second one. Of course I¡¯m not going to doubt what you say you feel just because I¡¯m unable to understand it ... and yet ... I know all too well about the doubts in your mind, and how much if I were to choose for you it would make things much easier.¡± I looked at him in disbelief, hurt by his words, but he was serious. ¡°As much as I want you, in the end I¡¯m still too selfish. I¡¯ve stopped wanting only parts of you a long time ago. And I can¡¯t help wonder what you would do if it were Michael here with you, and not me. If you would allow him to touch you and kiss you like you allow me ... If you¡¯d surrender to him. And yet, I¡¯m perfectly aware that not making you mine, right now, leaves an open space, an open possibility that that might really happen. But even so I¡¯d rather take the risk. Not for your sake, but for mine. Because I want you to choose me!¡±


    The anger that took over my pain made me tremble even more, and I hit him with clenched fists as hard I as I could, even though it was like hitting a wall. How could he make me want him that much and then refuse me! How could he make me need him as much as I did and then push me away! And tell me those things about Michael, when I¡¯d never ... and everything else too! How could he ask me to choose when he¡¯d been the one trampling all over my life, destroying everything around me? How could I feel how I felt ... for someone like him? And how was he able to look at me with that gentle expression, hopelessly captivating me, when all that was supposed to exist between us was a cold bargain, empty of any kind of feelings besides pain and resentment?


    Everything was just wrong, anyway! And his attempts of somehow making things right just went to show me just how much it was really wrong, leaving me frustrated and angry. It was as if he were telling me that, in truth, what existed between us could not be; that, probably, all that would end up destroying me, and since it was so, it was a decision only I could make.


    Still, he would only accept me if I could give up everything else, as if I could just press a button and delete all the doubts he, himself, had planted inside me. In the end it all came back to the same. For one reason or the other, he would end up leaving me. Our worlds were too different and he would never be able to understand the complexity of Human emotions.


    Gabriel held my useless hands, unable to hurt him, and pinned them against the soft mattress, as I sobbed bitterly.


    ¡°I hate you!¡± I declared and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose.


    ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± he told me with that smug smile that annoyed me so much, his violet eyes glowing, making him look suddenly very dangerous. ¡°In truth, you already belong to me. You just haven¡¯t noticed yet.¡± I frowned which made him smile again. ¡°Partly because you¡¯re definitely one of the most stubborn Humans I¡¯ve ever known. But mainly because there are things you still don¡¯t know. Which make you repeat to yourself nonsensical things, like that you love that idiot. Actually, you¡¯ve never loved him, and I¡¯d rather wait until you understand that on your own. And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡±


    I felt confused. How had he been able to solve things that easily? And it was it for my sake? How come? When he¡¯d just told me all that stuff about he wanting me to choose, and he wanting me to give up on everything else. No matter how I looked at it, he stopped for the sake of what he wanted, like always!


    His hands released me, bringing me back from my thoughts, leaving me completely frozen as if his touch, even though cold, had the ability to warm me, and I instinctively held him by his open shirt, stopping him from pulling away any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand, but fine,¡± I conceded and he seemed surprised. ¡°I accept your decision and can even understand that ... kissing me, and touching me after, hearing what I said downstairs can be ... disgusting, that I can be ... nauseating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not usually that morally inclined,¡± he said, laughing, ¡°at least not enough to take that kind of thing into account. If I want something I just take it. The only difference, this time, is that what I want is all that much harder to get. And, as if it weren¡¯t enough, I have to constantly be on alert so that I won¡¯t end up breaking you into pieces before I can claim what I want.¡±


    I immediately noticed the change in his face, as his expression became harder and darker.


    ¡°I¡¯m very much aware of the damage my hands inflict on your body,¡± he added in a whisper and frowned, as if struggling against something. ¡°You¡¯re too small and too frail. But the scent and warmth of your body make you practically irresistible. Apparently, and contrary to what I¡¯d thought, even if I try to keep calm and remain rational, I do have my limits, and that can be very dangerous. If I allow myself to be swept away by the moment, if I hold you with just a bit of too much strength ...¡±


    I placed a hand over his lips, interrupting his increasingly pained voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve noticed you seem to have adopted that answer no matter what happens,¡± he declared sarcastically. ¡°I know why you do it, and I pretend I believe your words, using them as an excuse to remain by your side.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth!¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not!¡± he contradicted, his voice now dry and bitter. ¡°The truth is that I almost broke your arm. That I had to struggle against the strength of my own fingers. That I had to keep stopping myself from losing myself in the warmth of your kiss. I look at you and the desire to touch every single inch of your body leaves the palms of my hands burning. I can¡¯t think, and I can¡¯t distance myself, and that¡¯s extremely dangerous. I¡¯ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. And knowing that, even when you kiss me, your mind is divided and confused, has the ability to erase the only small spark of self-control that I¡¯m able to maintain near you.¡±


    He smiled as he caressed my hair, even though his expression was cold and distant.


    ¡°To tell you the truth,¡± he continued, ¡°there are times when I even find myself wanting to cause you pain, because I know that at least while you fear me nothing else goes through your head. And yet, that¡¯s not what I want at all.¡±


    His fingers moved gently over my face and the pain that took over his eyes left me breathless.


    ¡°Your terrified expression, when you used to look at me, was always terrible to bear,¡± he confessed. ¡°I find myself feeling conflicted and that has never happened before, and it makes me ... unstable. Because of who I am, I¡¯ve always made sure to be absolutely certain, absolutely under control. But right now I just don¡¯t know what I may end up doing. And I don¡¯t want to have to find your dead body lying next to me once I¡¯m back to being myself after some furious episode or moment of uncontrollable desire.¡±


    I raised a hand to caress his face and took a deep breath. The way he¡¯d kept searching for the right words told me that those hadn¡¯t been easy things for him to say.


    ¡°I know all that,¡± I replied and he looked defeated, but somehow relieved. ¡°When you came back and I asked you to stay, because I practically demanded it from you, I promised myself that I¡¯d never allow you to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you pretended nothing happened when I almost broke your ribs?¡± he asked with an ironic smile as he held my hand. ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t notice? You wouldn¡¯t be able to hide a single splinter stuck on your finger from me! The scent of your skin changes when you¡¯re in pain. And the way you walked or would always press your right side when you stood up, or sat down ...¡±


    ¡°That was an accident!¡± I hurriedly countered.


    ¡°Why? Because I was unconscious? I made Lea tell me what had happened.¡±


    ¡°Because you were in pain! And had just suffered a terrible injury! And I unintentionally hurt you! It was only a defense mechanism. You didn¡¯t even know what you were doing! Nor that I was standing there, beside you, or that I just wanted to help you. That¡¯s why it was an accident!¡±


    ¡°That is hardly an excuse!¡± he said angrily. ¡°I could still easily have killed you! Things like that cannot happen, and yet I know they do! But because I¡¯m selfish and want to stay beside you, I accept your silence and pretend that nothing happened. Like I¡¯ll do for the next few days, for as long as that arm hurts!¡±


    My face burned and I looked at him fiercely.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with my arm!¡± I declared and the rage that took over his face made my heart stop.


    His cold, hard hands grabbed the collar of my top and, before I could even try to stop him, pulled it apart, tearing the fabric and making buttons jump all over the place. Instinctively I tried to hold what was left of the top in its place, but the strength of his hands was too great, ripping it away from my fingers as he pulled it down, undressing my arm to the elbow.


    I cringed in fear, wrapping my arms around my bare chest, and closed my eyes trying to turn away from him, too embarrassed to keep facing him.


    Everything was quiet for a moment, and my constant trembling became even worse at the idea of him hovering like that, just staring down at me.


    His cold fingers on my arm, over the exact place that still hurt, startled me, and he placed a butterfly kiss on my aching skin.


    ¡°Even like this, I¡¯m still not able to convince myself that I shouldn¡¯t stay by your side.¡±


    The pain in his voice forced me to ignore my embarrassment and I opened my eyes to look at him. I refused to look at the arm he was still gently caressing, and raised a hand to touch his perfect face.


    ¡°Stop tormenting yourself over something like that. It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a child. You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re saying.¡±


    Anger returned smoldering hot, mixing with my blood. It was the third time he¡¯d used that argument and it really, really annoyed me!


    ¡°Is that your new subterfuge?¡± I asked accusingly. ¡°You repeat to yourself that I¡¯m nothing but a frail, unguarded child and that¡¯s why you can¡¯t stay with me?¡±


    ¡°Mariane ...¡±


    ¡°I am not a child!¡± I contested and pulled him by his ear, his sudden expression of pain erasing all the stupid words he was probably about to say. ¡°Besides, as I understand, I have something that you don¡¯t! Free will! And I want you to stay with me! And don¡¯t you dare use time to pull us apart only because you¡¯ve been living for hundreds of years, because that¡¯s a wall too high, too thick for me to climb.¡±


    My voice broke in a sob and he delicately held my hand, easily freeing his ear, and kissed me softly silencing my tearless crying.


    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± he finally told me, placing another soft kiss on my eyelid, and I grabbed his shirt again, determined not to let him go.


    ¡°Stay with me!¡± I commanded and he rubbed his nose against my face, and down my neck, to place another cold kiss on my collarbone.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to sleep if I stay,¡± he whispered against my skin. ¡°Your body won¡¯t stop shaking.¡± His lazy kiss kept going down, his lips now over my chest, making me do strange sounds with my voice, even though I was trying as hard as I could to keep it quiet. A jolt coursed through my body when he slowly licked my skin.


    ¡°Stop ... torturing me,¡± I mumbled, fighting to maintain some measure of rational thinking, and he raised his head to look at me, smiling darkly and mischievously.


    ¡°I love the way your scent changes when I touch you ... how your heart beats even faster ... how your body shudders differently ... and the way your voice changes.¡±


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I demanded, flustered, and he chuckled.


    ¡°I also love the way you blush. It makes me want to do even worse,¡± he confessed and all he had to do was smile and I could already feel all the symptoms he¡¯d just described. ¡°If I stay, I will probably not let you sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you hurt me. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    His eyes froze and a defeated sigh left his lips.


    He let himself rollover off me, and his body fell at my side. I was taken by surprise, for a moment, and then sat up just to look at him. His black hair, even short, spread over my pillow like shadows. His perfect face was looking straight at me, watching me in silence, emotionless like a renaissance statue. The unbuttoned shirt that he¡¯d stubbornly kept around his arms failing completely in its task, didn¡¯t even coveri his bare shoulders. Contrary to his almost lean and delicate appearance when he was dressed, his white marble chest showed surprisingly strong defined muscles, the fine line of his abdomen drifting down and disappearing into the waist of his pants. And even the way his hands rested, abandoned on the mattress, his long fingers slightly flexed, seemed to have been purposely designed to complete that perfect picture of pure seduction. I was immediately and painfully aware that no Human Being would ever be able to resist him, or stop himself from wanting him. He was too perfect, and it wasn¡¯t only his body that was perfect. All around him there was this magnetic, irresistible field, as if even the anarchic way his hair fell over his forehead, casting bluish shadows over his skin, was meant to make him even more desirable.


    I felt small, and insignificant, and I squeezed even harder the top of my pajamas that he had so easily rendered useless. How could I ever believe that someone like him had chosen someone like me? That he wanted ... me? And I was suddenly too conscious of my own appearance. I recalled that, before, that was a constant thought in my mind, always worrying about how big my eyes were, or how my hair looked like some bird¡¯s nest most of the time. But even that had changed, once he¡¯d come into my life, breaking and destroying everything in his way, making it impossible for me to worry about such small, insignificant things. And yet, sitting there, next to him, I couldn¡¯t help but feel my dull human appearance all too heavy, and I lowered my gaze in a way that I¡¯d forgotten to do, always making sure I faced him for as long as I could, just to show I wasn¡¯t afraid of him.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His voice startled me and I was looking at him again, even before I noticed. My eyes fell on his white hand, stretched in my direction, waiting, and all I had to do was touch it and everything else disappeared.


    I allowed him to pull me gently and lay down between his arms, my head resting on his chest. He kissed my forehead all too softly and took a deep breath, gently playing with my hair.


    ¡°You must tell me if you¡¯re unable to sleep,¡± he insisted and I shook my head stubbornly, wishing I could stay like that, near him, for the rest of my life. ¡°I never held anyone like this, in my arms. And I never felt so ¡­ at peace, as I feel now, near you. I really think I may very well get addicted to your presence.¡± He chuckled lightly and I smiled, snuggling my head against his chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°But if that happens, I¡¯ll never allow you to leave me, even if I have to make you my prisoner,¡± he added, sounding suddenly threatening, and I nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, even if you do. It¡¯s just like you said, I already belong to you.¡±

 Chapter 29 - Part 1

    Chapter 29


    ARN


    ¨C The Marriage of the Seer with BABALON.1 ¨C


    ¡°In terror, I feel as the Wheel turns yet again, in this unavoidable succession of events.


    Despairing, I hold on to the time and space that are Now, with all my strength.


    I fear this new impulse, this new change ...


    above all I fear my own impotence and insignificance before the World¡¯s designs.¡±


    I didn¡¯t expect to find him beside me when I woke up the next day, and so I wasn¡¯t overly disappointed by his absence.


    I found myself unable to feel the slightest hint of guilt or remorse, and the absolute certainty I had in the truthfulness of every word I¡¯d said the night before left me strangely calm. I was not going to worry about the differences that obviously pulled us apart, nor would I think about the inevitability of, sooner or later, he ending up leaving me behind. The truth was undeniable; I was completely and unavoidably in love with Gabriel, regardless of him being Human or not.


    As I¡¯d expected, Alexander and Jonathan were at home, both sitting in the kitchen, both deep in a very heavy, awkward silence.


    ¡°Good morning,¡± I said to the both of them and Alexander smiled as if my presence had been heaven-sent just to save him. Jonathan, on the other hand, stood up and left without a word. And, even though he kept smiling, Alexander¡¯s smile dwindled to a forced shadow.


    I sighed and sat at the table, reaching for a yogurt.


    ¡°Anything wrong?¡±


    ¡°Nothing much, nothing new, at least,¡± he answered and his disheartened expression made me feel sorry for him.


    ¡°Did you have a fight?¡± I asked softly and he looked away.


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible not to. Jonathan hates me.¡±


    ¡°Hmm. He¡¯s certainly hurt for what he thinks you did. But, even so, I don¡¯t think he hates you.¡±


    Alexander smiled bitterly and rested his head on one hand, putting a fake cold and indifferent expression on his face.


    ¡°I did what I had to do. And it¡¯s good that he hates me.¡±


    ¡°You know, it¡¯s unbelievable how you guys try so hard to lie about your own feelings all the time,¡± I pointed out and he gave me threatening glare. ¡°In reality, you¡¯re nothing like that. I won¡¯t deny that your fury was real when I tried to stop you from getting to him, and that it was kind of ... scary. But that only goes to prove my point. Sigweardiel is an angel who sacrificed his white wings to save a Human Being in an act of love. That¡¯s who you really are.¡±


    ¡°Angel?¡± He smiled sarcastically. ¡°You must be mistaken! I am a Mazzikin! A demon!¡± he translated.


    ¡°And that doesn¡¯t change absolutely anything. They call you that because your wings are a different color now. You love him the same way, and everything you do, even the less correct things, you do them for his sake. Jonathan is no idiot. He may not know the truth, but he knows all too well the true meaning behind of your actions. You said it yourself, he is a Human Being just like me, and if there¡¯s something I learned through our coexistence is that we Humans are much more capable at this thing of understanding emotions than you are. You really think he can¡¯t see your love? That he can¡¯t see your pain?¡±


    Alexander sighed, disheartened. ¡°Sometimes ... sometimes I think that there¡¯s nothing left inside of him, that he¡¯s nothing but an empty shell.¡±


    ¡°Because he¡¯s also suffering and, sometimes, it¡¯s just easier to turn away from ourselves, to turn off everything, in order to make it easier to bear all the pain,¡± I tried to explain. ¡°I do understand your true purpose in hiding the truth from him, and you may even be right. But still, I can¡¯t help feeling that it would be better if he knew the truth. It¡¯s possible that, at some point, the pain would be more intense. But he¡¯d have you standing there beside him, and he would understand all the reasons behind all the things left unexplained.¡±


    Alexander sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pulling his bangs back from over his eye. ¡°I thought about it, but then, even though you say I¡¯m the same, the truth is that I¡¯m not. There are things inside me, things that are constantly changing, and against which I¡¯m constantly fighting, so that they¡¯ll remain deep inside me, so that they won¡¯t come to the surface, because I know that if they do, they¡¯ll be forever imprinted in my being. If Jonathan were to stop hating me, if he went back to trusting me like before, if we went back to be as close as we used to be, I fear what I might do. If he wouldn¡¯t reject me and despise me every time I kiss his skin to close those terrible wounds, what would be left to stop me?¡±


    I was speechless, staring at him, and I unsuccessfully looked for the right words after what he¡¯d just told me. Alexander smiled, his ironic sneering smile, and faced me almost daring me.


    ¡°Did I shock you?¡± he asked and laughed lightly, although his laughter was rough and dry. ¡°It goes a little bit against that image of yours of what an angel should be like, right? I do hope I haven¡¯t disappointed you all that much.¡±


    ¡°Not at all,¡± I replied firmly. His sarcasm kind of annoyed me which, at that point, I was thankful for, since it had allowed me to react. ¡°I guess I can even understand, to a point. As a Merifri there were rules you had to follow and obey, which forced you to keep away from him. But, as a Deiwos, there are no rules, rather the rule is take-what-you-want, and it scares you.¡± He seemed disturbed by my words. ¡°Yet, that still doesn¡¯t invalidate what I said. Regardless of who you are, or how freely you can act on your desires, the truth is that you¡¯re still the same, that you feel the same. And that, in the end, you would never be able to hurt him, even if that meant having to hurt yourself instead.¡±


    ¡°You give me too much credit,¡± he grumbled, looking away.


    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t help the way I feel. All I know is that when I look at the two of you I can¡¯t help thinking how lucky Jonathan was to have you as his Guardian. If someone had given me the choice, I would have chosen you as my Guardian as well. At least you didn¡¯t abandon him. And it¡¯s not like I wish I could go back, because that¡¯s not the case at all. But, in the end, all this happened because my Guardian left me alone, right? And then, I look at you, and I can¡¯t help wondering ... if it had been you beside me, none of this would have happened.¡±


    Alexander seemed surprised and the smile that touched his lips was much gentler and understanding. ¡°That would have been impossible, Mari. I¡¯ve been a Deiwos for more than a hundred years.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I know. It¡¯s just ... a comparison. To tell you the truth, I can¡¯t really picture you as the Guardian of anyone else but Jonathan,¡± I confessed. ¡°But if the bond between a Guardian and a Gaalgha is that strong, I can¡¯ help asking myself why am I alone and why can¡¯t I remember ever having anyone like that by my side.¡±


    ¡°I believe ... that your Guardian erased your memories of him before he went to sleep,¡± he said and his expression became more serious. I couldn¡¯t help feeling surprised that he¡¯d offer to talk about that, and so I waited for him to go on. ¡°It¡¯s not that uncommon. Sometimes relationships between Guardians and Gaalgha can become too close, too intimate. But if the Gaalgha loses his memory, the situation becomes more manageable.¡±


    ¡°Are you telling me I had feelings for my Guardian ... and that he made me forget them?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s like I said, it¡¯s not that uncommon. What is certainly not normal is that he was weak and a coward, and left you alone,¡± he added angrily, the glow in his eyes reinforcing his words.


    ¡°I ... loved him?¡± I asked, still in disbelief, and Alexander sighed.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. In its base, what attracts a Guardian and a Gaalgha to one another is way beyond mere Human feelings like love. It¡¯s almost like a dance between Souls that, up till that moment, had been walking through time and space completely alone. It¡¯s joy, and wonder, and irresistible attraction. But it¡¯s also pain, because it¡¯s all just a fleeting moment. Above all it¡¯s absolutely unavoidable. However, the way that communion expresses itself on a human level can be very different. It depends on personalities, personal histories, experiences shared. It¡¯s already there to begin with, but the way it develops depends on many other, very Human, factors, just like any other relationship.¡±


    ¡°My Guardian ... he chose to fall asleep just to avoid me?¡± I asked with a serious expression.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Yes, you do! Tell me!¡± I demanded and he sat silent for a moment.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t know. How can I even begin to imagine what came over him to do something as unforgivable as this? But, when I think about it, I really can¡¯t find any other possible explanation. I guess he found himself unable to control his own desires and, before they could lead him to his fall, he opted to fall asleep for the time being.¡±Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    ¡°And abandon me,¡± I added and took a deep breath, smiling before his preoccupied expression. ¡°Well, it doesn¡¯t really matter anyway. I probably would have never met you all if it weren¡¯t for that.¡±


    ¡°And your life would have followed the path that was destined for you. Can you even grasp the seriousness of this? Gaalgha are not supposed to live side by side with Deiwos.¡±


    ¡°Look who¡¯s talking,¡± I told him jokingly. ¡°Anyway, you might have even been right, a few weeks ago. But now it¡¯s different. And this is my choice, as a Human Being.¡±


    He snorted and rested his chin on one hand with a disapproving expression. ¡°Izrail is your choice.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°What do you expect from him, Mari? There¡¯s nothing he can give you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t expect anything. I don¡¯t even wish for a future together. I only want the now that we have.¡±


    ¡°When you talk like that I can¡¯t help wondering if you¡¯d say the same if you remembered all you¡¯ve lived. If you remembered your Guardian.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see. You still think I¡¯m using him to fill in the empty space that remained after my Guardian left me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying you do it consciously. But ... yes.¡±


    ¡°As much as I¡¯d like to deny it, I also can¡¯t guarantee that you¡¯re wrong. Because I¡¯m a Human Being who¡¯s unable to feel, and he is the only being I know that is able to return that ability to me. So, I guess it was expected that I somehow would grow attached to him. Either way the truth is that, right now, I can¡¯t imagine my life without him.¡±


    ¡°That just cannot be!¡± Alexander said, shaking his head repeatedly. ¡°Izrail is a Shedim! And the Law is increasingly stricter as our castes are more pure. Do you understand? He¡¯ll never be allowed to keep you. And the more he insists on that madness, the worse the result will be!¡±


    I felt a bitter taste in my mouth and distractedly played with my yogurt spoon. ¡°I don¡¯t believe there¡¯s a need to worry about that. I know he¡¯ll leave me sooner or later. And that¡¯s exactly why I¡¯ve given up considering things like time.¡±


    ¡°Leave you?¡± Alexander repeated. ¡°If only that were true! You don¡¯t know him at all. He may be frighteningly powerful and annoyingly indifferent and cold to the whole world around him. I¡¯ve never met anyone with so many defenses and strategies, specially developed to avoid personal contact with others, than him. And yet, taking into account how long he¡¯s lived, as emotions are concerned, he is very much like a child. Because of everything he¡¯s been through, and the way he was raised, he quickly learned how to hate, be suspicious and loathe everything right from the start, and I guess that that¡¯s what mainly has kept him alive so far. However, those that are persistent enough to live through that phase and try and see beyond his terrifying presence, easily reach the conclusion that, besides his extraordinary weapons and defense mechanisms, he really doesn¡¯t know much more of anything.


    ¡°It was with Lea that he learned what it means to care for someone else, to protect and be unconditionally dedicated to another. When I met him it was thanks to that that I could reach him, that I managed to make him listen to me and try and understand me. I¡¯m quite sure that, if I¡¯d met him before he met Lea, he would have never helped me like he did. For my part, I tried to teach him what it meant to have a companion, someone we can turn our back to without fearing being stabbed. And yet, I¡¯m sure you remember how he initially received me when we got here. Every time I catch him off guard, he¡¯ll invariably react like that. His primary instinct is always to attack.


    ¡°And then you came along, Mari. But what you¡¯re trying to teach him is something that no Shedim should know. Especially not now. You see, there are still many other basic things that he should learn, that he must learn, in order to understand the lesson you¡¯re trying to teach him. And yet, just like with Lea and me, you already have your space inside his defense wall, the same wall he uses to keep all others at bay or to simply destroy them. And, sure, it¡¯s because we all have our places inside his wall that we can act in a certain way near him, and have confidence that he¡¯ll probably not destroy us, even when we make the mistake of angering him. But once you belong to the inside world of his wall, there¡¯s no escape. I don¡¯t even want to imagine how catastrophic it would be if one of us were to simply disappear. Because Izrail still hasn¡¯t learned how to deal with loss, and a space that was suddenly left empty hurts much more than a place that was never occupied to begin with. And, from the three of us, right now, you¡¯re the one who occupies more space,¡± he declared and sighed at my dumbfounded expression.


    ¡°At first I wasn¡¯t worried at all because I thought he could never even begin to understand what your presence in his life was trying to teach him. I always thought that a Shedim would never be able of such feelings. I thought that his obsession with you was just a whim, a curiosity because you¡¯re so different from all that he knows. Now I can clearly see just how wrong I was and you say he¡¯ll leave you? He¡¯ll never allow anyone else to come in between you, even if that means going to war.


    ¡°If you talk about my anger when you placed yourself between Jonathan and I, you can¡¯t even imagine what would happen if someone stood between him and you. Because I¡¯ve seen him tirelessly hunt down other Deiwos for my sake. And I saw him level a whole city to the ground because some stupid Se¡¯irim thought it was a good idea to kidnap Lea. Right now, I can¡¯t even imagine what he¡¯d be able to do for you. I know, however, he wouldn¡¯t even spare Lea or me, if one of us were to threaten to take you away from him. And that tells me enough.¡±


    I sat in silence, not knowing what to say.


    Even though denying his certainties felt somehow childish, I also couldn¡¯t really see Gabriel in the being he¡¯d just described. I just couldn¡¯t grasp the idea of something making Gabriel anguished enough to make him want to destroy everything around him just for my sake.


    ¡°I¡¯d really ... like to believe that, but the truth is that I just can¡¯t see it,¡± I finally confessed.


    ¡°Because you have a ridiculous low self-esteem,¡± he scolded me and I couldn¡¯t disagree with that. ¡°If you weren¡¯t this important to him, we would have left here a long time ago. Do you know when I first became aware of just how much you¡¯d become important to him?¡± I shook my head. ¡°When I told him to just go to you, take whatever he wanted and be done with it, so that we could move on as soon as possible. And he almost pulverized me! That was the first time that I saw him try so hard to restrain his own will for the sake of someone else. And you, better than anyone, must know just how many times he¡¯s done it since then.¡±


    I took a deep breath. ¡°When you tell me these things, I can almost believe you¡¯re right, and I just can¡¯t see what will be left of me, if you¡¯re wrong,¡± I murmured and he kept silent for a moment.


    ¡°Why? What binds you to him like this?¡± he asked and I smiled, shrugging.


    ¡°If you ask me like that, I don¡¯t know. All I know is that once he left I just ceased to exist. I couldn¡¯t feel anything anymore. And that once he came back, everything was different. And besides regaining all that I thought I had lost forever, something inside me had also changed, as if I needed to lose him once, before I could really understand just how important he¡¯d really became to me. And even though I tried to deny it, and tried to avert my gaze from it, even though I know it¡¯s impossible and wrong, and no matter how many times I repeated that to myself, I just can¡¯t change back to whom I used to be. And then, it comes to a point where it¡¯s just simply ridiculous and tiring constantly trying to deny the truth.¡±


    ¡°And Michael?¡±


    My smile immediately withered away, as a tight lump choked my throat. At that point, I¡¯d rather not even think about him, much less talk about him.


    ¡°Michael is ... undeniably precious to me,¡± I replied after pondering for a while. ¡°I always feel different when I¡¯m with him. And, unlike what happened with Gabriel, where my feelings slowly changed, what I feel for Michael hasn¡¯t changed at all. It¡¯s strange, isn¡¯t it? One would expect that, as my feelings for Gabriel grew and became stronger, my feelings for Michael would dwindle away. But that¡¯s not what happened at all. And so I can only conclude that they occupy two different places inside my heart. I know that it¡¯s hard to understand, and unfair. But I have no other way to explain it, nor can I change the way I feel. And yet, when Gabriel was gone, he even took what I feel and have always felt for Michael with him.¡±


    ¡°And even knowing that what you feel for Michael only exists when Izrail is by your side, you still cannot choose?¡± he asked and I could hear his light tone of disapproval.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry,¡± I replied with a shrug.


    ¡°But I¡¯m sure you know which one your Soul has chosen,¡± he implied and I squeezed the spoon I still held in my hand. ¡°The way you protected us from Telane. That¡¯s a power that can only manifest itself when the Soul of a Gaalgha perfectly synchronizes with his Human feelings. And although that Human side of yours may be able to love two completely different beings, your Soul can only love one other Soul. And the proof that this is so is in what you just told me. Without Izrail by your side your emotions are dulled.¡±


    I shrugged again. ¡°Even if things are like that,¡± I tried to explain, even though words such as spirits and souls were still rather abstract to me. ¡°The truth is that I cannot feel what my Soul feels. Even when I cry, and you tell me that my Soul is crying, the truth is that I don¡¯t feel any pain. Apparently, I can only feel things if my Soul agrees or allows it. But when that happens what I¡¯m feeling are my Human feelings, and it¡¯s with these emotions that I live in my daily life, not with the feelings of my Soul.¡±


    ¡°I understand. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve told you. Contrary to what you might thing, I understand you all too well, and that¡¯s why I can¡¯t help feeling sorry for you. Because the fight you¡¯re fighting cannot end well. My debt to Izrail makes me wish I could just get rid of you, since I know this would be the best for him, and, if this could be done without disturbing your life all that much, then it would be the best for you too. But there¡¯s this other part of me that keeps trying to protect you, because I know this is not the path meant for you. Because I look at you and I know that you must¡¯ve been born for truly great things, things that you¡¯ll probably never accomplish. Because if you keep insisting in going down this path, I¡¯m sure you will end up dying very soon.¡±


    The silence that fell around us was too heavy for me to bear it for long.


    ¡°Right now, I don¡¯t really mind dying all that much,¡± I told him with a smile that made him frown. ¡°Of course, I¡¯d much rather stay alive, if possible. But, in anyway, I¡¯m really grateful that I¡¯ve met you.¡± He averted his gaze, looking embarrassed, and so I tried to change the subject. ¡°Are Lea and Gabriel still searching for Telane?¡±


    ¡°Since the cat found the place where she¡¯s been hiding, yesterday night Izrail set a trap to capture her,¡± he said, folding his arms and leaning back. ¡°But Telane must have noticed something wrong, since she still hasn¡¯t returned. I suppose they¡¯re watching her place now.¡±


    ¡°That means no one knows until when I¡¯ll have to stay under house arrest,¡± I concluded.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s not easy, but if you can just be a bit more patient ...¡± Alexander pleaded and I smiled.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m okay with not being able to go outside. To tell you the truth I¡¯ve always felt more at ease at home than at school. And I know you guys will just spew some hocus-pocus that will perfectly justify all my absences. The problem is that soon we won¡¯t have anything left to eat.¡±


    ¡°But that¡¯s the easiest thing of all. Just tell me what you need,¡± he offered and I looked suspiciously at him.


    ¡°So you can make stuff appear out of nowhere on my table?¡± I asked and he seemed confused, as if he couldn¡¯t see the problem in that. ¡°When you guys do that, where do you get the things you make appear?¡±


    ¡°Well, that depends, I suppose. If you ask me for food I¡¯ll probably get it from some supermarket. I could just make it appear out of nowhere, but I don¡¯t think it will be such a good idea, having Humans eat food created by Deiwos.¡±


    ¡°Fine then. But make sure to make some money appear in the cash register! I am not about to rob a supermarket I don¡¯t even know,¡± I told him, half scolding him for all the times I was sure he had robbed a supermarket, and Alexander laughed, his warm laughter filling the room, surprising me at just how familiar and relaxing it sounded.


    ¡°Fine, fine. I won¡¯t rob the supermarket. I promise.¡± These Deiwos persons were all worse than children!


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 29 - Part 2

    The next half hour or so was like assisting one of those amazing magic shows on television. All I had to do was speak the name and the quantity, and there it was right in front of me ¡ª rice, milk, water, bread, yogurt, peach juice, chocolate cream cookies. Thirty minutes was all it took to restock the fridge and freezer, and all the empty cupboards.


    The rest of the day went by slowly.


    I took the chance to put my studies in order, and solve some of the next lessons, taking into account that I¡¯d probably be missing school for a few more days. I made a mental note to call Joanne later on and ask her about the classes I¡¯d missed, and maybe even give her some sort of excuse that she could pass along to the rest of my classmates.


    I read and replied to my mother¡¯s e-mails and even managed to laugh at the description of a party she apparently had gone to. I really missed her constant good humor and open and cheerful character. I was glad to know she was having fun and asked for more photos of the extraordinary event, since she¡¯d only sent me one of herself, dressed in a beautiful dark-blue evening gown, standing on a stone balcony, somewhere away from the city.


    Once I got tired of my school stuff, I grabbed a book and sprawled myself on the bed. It seemed like forever since I¡¯d last read something. It felt really good, allowing myself to submerge into another story, into another world, as time went by me unnoticed.


    I must have fallen asleep because, when I realized it, I was back in that dark place with the cold, hard stone floor. Michael was lying at my feet, bleeding, his white shirt slowly becoming red, and yet he kept staring at me, his green eyes fixed in a silent accusation that made me take a step back. His pale, discolored lips moved, slowly pronouncing my name, and I recalled what Gabriel had told me about what happened when Deiwos took a life away. I immediately wanted to get out of there, to run away, but my legs wouldn¡¯t obey me. And, when I looked down, I saw that black shadows were wrapping themselves around my ankles and knees, like giant snakes, making it impossible for me to move. I tried to make them release me, kicking and pulling them, but the more I fought the more they squeezed their cold embrace, climbing up my legs, hurting me.


    ¡°Mariane!¡±


    His voice woke me with a startle, leaving me tense, and I looked around still feeling lost. I only relaxed when I saw him, sitting at the edge of my bed, making sure to keep some distance in order not to scare me.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I greeted him with a smile, sitting up, and noticed I¡¯d fallen asleep while reading my book. The gray light pouring in from the window was getting dimmer, and I knew it must be early in the evening.


    ¡°Are you all right?¡±


    ¡°It was just a dream,¡± I replied and looked away so I wouldn¡¯t be captivated by the beauty of his face, which seemed to happen more frequently day by day. ¡°Any news?¡±


    ¡°She escaped again,¡± he replied in a harsh tone. ¡°I¡¯m starting to get tired of this game of cat and mouse. I¡¯ve never been one to have enough patience to endure hunting games. I hate having to sit still, waiting for the other party to make a mistake. It¡¯s truly annoying!¡± he complained and I couldn¡¯t help laugh at his unwilling expression.


    ¡°You can always use me as bait again,¡± I suggested, pulling my knees up against my chest. In truth I really didn¡¯t want to have to go through all that again, I thought, my stomach turning just at the thought. However, just to see his outraged expression was worth taking the risk of him agreeing.


    ¡°Not a chance!¡± he declared in that tone that wouldn¡¯t even admit discussing the issue and then, as I couldn¡¯t help my persistent smile, he seemed to notice my trap, relaxing a bit. ¡°I do not want to see you even close to any of them again!¡±


    I nodded, not wanting to counter him on that, and tried to move on with our talk.


    ¡°And Lea?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s downstairs. He and Sigweardiel are making culinary experiments, since they have so many new ingredients.¡±


    ¡°New ingredients?¡± I repeated, in complete alarm mode, and then sighed knowing it would be completely useless trying to make them behave like normal people. ¡°And there go my provisions,¡± I lamented and he smiled, dazzling me since I still hadn¡¯t gotten used to seeing him show me those kinds of gentle expressions. ¡°So, have you returned a long time ago?¡±


    ¡°Some. I¡¯ve been sitting here, watching you sleep,¡± he tranquilly admitted while I couldn¡¯t help blush. ¡°And I was thinking just how much smaller and frailer you look while you are sleeping. And then I couldn¡¯t help wonder how someone as ... breakable as you could so easily sleep in my arms, like you did yesterday. You¡¯re either quite insane, or stupidly naive.¡±


    I frowned, annoyed, asking myself if he was trying to pick a fight. ¡°I trust you!¡± I argued and he smiled coldly.


    ¡°My point exactly,¡± he replied and I sighed, offering my hand to him like he¡¯d done so many times to me. He looked at it for a moment and finally ended up accepting my silent invitation, softly brushing his fingers against mine. I held his hand the way he didn¡¯t dare hold mine, and pulled him to me. And his body yielded before my insignificant strength and fell over the bed. I stretched my legs so he could use them as a pillow and smiled when I saw him close his eyes, as if he¡¯d just fallen asleep.


    I touched his soft, cold hair, playing with the dark strands between my fingers and couldn¡¯t help think about how much things had changed. The sweet scent that enveloped made me dizzy, for a moment, and when I noticed it he¡¯d raised his body enough so that his face was standing right in front of me, irresistibly fascinating. I didn¡¯t dare move, knowing that if I did I wouldn¡¯t be able to resist the desire to touch him. He slowly leaned his head, coming even closer, and stopped almost touching my neck, making me shiver at the anticipation of his cold touch. I heard him take a deep breath, as if he wanted to fill his lungs with the air around me, and then he fell silent for what felt like a long time.


    ¡°Mariane.¡± His whisper made me shudder, the warmth of his breath making my heart beat even faster, and I clenched my fists over the quilt.


    ¡°Just stop that and kiss me,¡± I commanded between my teeth and he moved very slowly, so he could look at me again, his lips so close to mine that I could feel the cold of his skin.


    ¡°Not today. I really don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to control myself if I do.¡±


    His words sounded closer to an irresistible challenge. Somehow, and although I knew it was for my sake, knowing he was constantly restraining his own will made me angry. I didn¡¯t want him to restrain himself at all! I wanted him to kiss me. And touch me. And be at least half as crazy about me as I was about him. And so, before he could pull back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his, applying all I had learned from his own lips, making sure he would never say my kisses were childish ever again. I felt him recoil and I kissed him even more passionately, holding him with all my strength, although I knew he could easily push me away.


    His hands touched my waist, shaking and hesitant, and for a moment tried to gently break us apart. However, in the next instant, they were pulling me against him, and pushing me down on the bed. His lips took absolute control over mine, and I found myself breathless and gasping for air. My body was burning up, my brain melting inside my head, and I hugged him not knowing what to do with that destructive force raging inside me. His hands easily tore the collar of my sweatshirt, uncovering one of my shoulders which he ravenously kissed. His cold hands slipped under my sweater, his fingers digging into my ribs, and I bit my lower lip to silence the pain.


    The air around us changed, became heavier and harder to breathe, and soft, silky cold strands of hair slid over my neck. When I managed to focus enough, I noticed he was no longer kissing me, or moving, his body trembling just as much as mine. His fingers were still painfully buried between my ribs, almost as if he was about to stab me to death, and the air escaped through his lips in a bitter hiss.


    ¡°Please ... stop me.¡±


    The shock that washed over me felt like a bucket of cold water had just been poured down my head, and I was suddenly frozen in place, unable to move even an inch. It was the pain that brought me back to life, as his fingers dug even more into my skin. I slowly tried to move an arm and it was all it took to transform his cold fingers into daggers. I clenched down my teeth, bearing the pain, and placed a hand on his head, startled to feel how long his hair had become.


    ¡°Hush,¡± I whispered as if he were no more than a frightened child and tried to keep my breathing as shallow as possible to avoid any sharper pain. ¡°I¡¯m right here.¡±


    ¡°I want you desperately.¡±


    My whole body burned up in response, back to that living hell at the sound of that whisper, but the pain spreading over my ribs didn¡¯t allow my mind to lose itself in his words.


    ¡°I know. And I am yours, remember. My Soul belongs to you, Nyx,¡± I replied and he seemed to relax just a bit.


    ¡°Right now my mind is filled ... with images that I can¡¯t control ... terrible images,¡± he admitted in a hoarse tone, and I slowly caressed his head, trying to calm him down.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look, then. Look at me, instead,¡± I told him, and tried to make him move so that I could see his face. ¡°Look at me, Nyx!¡±


    He slowly moved his head sideways, resting it on my shoulder, and his violet eyes glowed with that frightening crimson color, his long hair falling over his face, casting dark shadows over his pale skin. I swallowed the lump of fear that clothed my throat for a moment and lightly touched his face, trying to stop my hand from shaking as he kept very still, staring at me with that deadly gaze.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Tell me what you see.¡±


    His fingers twitched, sending waves of sharp pain through my ribs, and I bit the inside of my mouth so it wouldn¡¯t show in my face.


    ¡°My hands ... stained with your blood,¡± he spoke smoothly in that voice I loved so much, the words sliding through his motionless lips, and I felt frozen again. ¡°I see me breaking your body ... I hear you screaming in pain ... I see you helplessly trying to fight me, as if you could ever win over me. Because I¡¯ve never desired anything, as I desire you, and it¡¯s something that I can¡¯t control. Even now, knowing that I¡¯m hurting you, smelling the pain and the fear on your skin ... my desire to have you is stronger than my will to let go of you.¡±


    I gently pulled back the long strands of hair that were falling over his face and smiled as I noticed that his dark words had only made me love him even more.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I don¡¯t mind staying here with you, forever if that¡¯s what you want. In truth, I wouldn¡¯t even mind dying here, in your arms, if I didn¡¯t know how much it would ... hurt you,¡± I dared guess and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply. His fingers seemed to lose a bit more of their strength and I could breathe more at ease, as I patiently straightened his hair.


    ¡°I can¡¯t allow myself to lose you, but, no matter how much I try to ... how much I think about it, I just can¡¯t understand what binds me to you. The only thing I know is that it¡¯s so strong and intense that it overpowers everything else ... all my other thoughts and desires. And then everything is mixed up, because the only thing I know that feels like this is the effervescent excitement of trapping someone and ... tearing them to pieces. And I know you don¡¯t understand, but the tearing of flesh, and the breaking of bones, the warmth of the blood, its acrid metallic smell ...¡±


    I felt my stomach turn and placed a hand over his lips, silencing him. I regretted my gesture immediately, but already too late, knowing I¡¯d just reacted like a mere Human. I recalled the talk I¡¯d had with Alexander that morning. It was exactly as he¡¯d told me. Gabriel didn¡¯t know anything else besides that world of darkness and his mind tried to place everything else inside the few categories and emotions he¡¯d acquired in there.


    I swallowed hard, trying to pull myself together, and faced his eyes that looked coldly and attentively at me.


    ¡°You¡¯re saying that ... inside you, your desire for me blends with your desire to kill me?¡± I had the courage to ask but he didn¡¯t answer. I silently caressed his soft hair and tried to understand what kind of damage that realization had made inside me, but I felt nothing beyond that ice-cold fear piercing my chest.


    ¡°You fear me, now? You know you should, don¡¯t you?¡± he asked, without even waiting for an answer. ¡°You smell of fear.¡±


    I frowned, displeased with his conclusion, and pulled his ear, which tore an expression of surprise from his face.


    ¡°Stop making assumptions about what I may or not feel, based on my smell!¡± I scolded him. ¡°When you do that I always feel like I¡¯m talking to some kind of animal, or something!¡± He looked dumbfounded for an instant and then laughter rolled off his lips, releasing me from his threatening fingers.


    ¡°Really, an animal. Just like you to say something like that in the middle of such a gruesome and serious talk.¡±


    I took a deep breath, relieved for being able to do it again, but the places he¡¯d pressed still hurt, as if needles had remained embedded in my skin. His cold sneer told me he¡¯d noticed too, and I faced him unwavering.


    ¡°Your eyes, when they have that red glow, they scare me,¡± I confessed. ¡°And it¡¯s not because I¡¯m afraid of you. It¡¯s just that I always feel that, when you look at me like that, you¡¯re not really seeing me, you¡¯re not really you. Almost as if part of you had been taken away. And I know it is you, and that it¡¯s not like your unconscious or anything, but I always get the feeling that it¡¯s not the you you want to be ... like you¡¯re being pushed to do things that you really don¡¯t want to do. And I always feel it must be very painful, and lonely for the real you to be forcibly swept away like that.¡± He averted his gaze, clearly disturbed by my words. ¡°Of course I know I should fear you. I told myself that same thing over and over again, until I gave up. The same way I can¡¯t just stop feeling the way I do about you, I also can¡¯t start fearing you just because I should. I¡¯m really sorry to disappoint you,¡± I added with a light smile, and he raised his head, resting it on his hand, so he could look at me.


    I stared back at him, his eyes back to its violet color, his black hair falling over his shoulders, pouring over my bed. I was once more lost in the perfection of that image where nothing seemed out of place and raised a hand to touch him. His cold skin sent a tingling sensation through my fingers and he held it gently, placing a kiss on my palm, sending my heart into a crazed race.


    ¡°Just be still,¡± he told me, placing my hand over my chest. ¡°I want to try something.¡± I looked at him suspiciously and he smiled. ¡°Nothing dangerous, I promise. But I need you to be quiet.¡±


    I nodded like a good girl and he smiled again before closing his eyes.


    Even though I knew I should be used to it by now, I was still amazed when his long hair started to get shorter again, the air around us becoming lighter and easier to breathe. Gabriel frowned slightly, as if he were concentrating on something difficult, and his lips murmured soft words that I couldn¡¯t understand. To my surprise, dark lines appeared on his skin, growing and stretching in elegant curves and thorny circles, up his neck, across his face and around his left eye. His forehead took on a glistening look and small droplets of sweat appeared over his skin. But his presence became even lighter until I could hardly feel him, even though he was right there, beside me. For the first time I was able to stop shaking and shuddering just because we were close to each other. And then I suddenly realized what he was doing and what those dark lines really meant, and my heart jumped into an urgent beat.


    ¡°Nyx!¡± I called him, angry, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, ready to shake him if needed until he opened his eyes, but he just fell heavily on the bed, as if I¡¯d pushed him with all my strength. I turned and squirmed to get out from under his heavy leg, and sat up to look anxiously at him. The black lines were still growing, now across his forehead, and I sat on his stomach, shaking him with all my strength. ¡°Stop that! Just stop it! Open your eyes!¡± I demanded and my sight blurred, a bitter taste filling my mouth. ¡°Can you hear me?!¡± I shouted and a tear escaped my control, sliding down my face and falling on his neck, burning his pale skin. I immediately dried my tears, frustrated for not being able to stop crying, and my sobs echoed all around us.


    ¡°That ... hurts.¡± His dragged voice silenced all the other sounds. I looked down at him, still in disbelief, tears streaming down my face, and he smiled lightly. ¡°Are you crying, Mariane?¡± he asked in a weak and strained voice, raising a hand to touch me, and I quickly swatted it, pushing it away.


    ¡°If it hurts don¡¯t touch me!¡± I complained and rubbed my eyes again, fiercely drying the tears on my sleeves, hoping they would just stop appearing.


    ¡°Are you angry?¡± he asked me, chuckling, and I looked back at him more than angry. My gaze fell on all those dark lines and the pain was so deep that my vision blurred again, sending new tears sliding down my cheeks. ¡°Mariane.¡± I was dazed by the sound of my name in his voice and, when I noticed, his cold fingers were already drying my tears. I pushed him hard, pulling away, and used my sleeves again.


    ¡°Are you an idiot! What was that for?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. This is nothing compared with the many marks I left on your skin.¡± I looked at him astounded and he smiled, although he seemed pensive about something. ¡°Why are you crying? If you¡¯re crying it means your Soul is suffering. I thought this would make it easier for you to be close to me.¡±


    The ingenuity of his words left me even more frustrated, and I took a deep breath trying to at least control my Human feelings.


    ¡°You¡¯re really an idiot,¡± I declared with a sigh and dried my eyes again. ¡°Revert that!¡± I ordered and he frowned.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to. At least you¡¯re not trembling anymore,¡± he pointed out, sounding proud of himself. And yes, suddenly being close to him was as easy and natural as being close to any of my schoolmates. But the pain inside me wouldn¡¯t go away, nor would the persistent tears that kept flowing down my face.


    ¡°Are you a child?¡± I contested and sighed again as he seemed even more annoyed. ¡°That¡¯s ... painful, right?¡± I asked and he seemed intrigued. ¡°That Seal, it¡¯s cruel. It doesn¡¯t just restrain your being, it crushes it.¡±


    His eyes glowed dangerously and his hands pulled me by my sweater, making me fall at his side. His fingers wrapped around my neck, his face over mine so close that I could feel his warm breath, making me nervous and unsure, and a bit frightened.


    ¡°I¡¯ve told you before, there are certain things you should not say.¡±


    I touched his face, tracing the black lines, and couldn¡¯t help smile at his surprising ignorance.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll tell you another of those things. I know you did this for me,¡± I said, following the lines down his neck and undid the buttons of his shirt that were in my way. ¡°And yes, being able to touch you like this, not having to constantly tremble, is just ... incredible. But ...¡± I stopped, my hand in the center of his chest, over the place where all the lines converged into a strange eight-pointed star. ¡°Your pain is my pain, my tears are for you.¡± He seemed confused, even more so when I locked my other hand at the back of his head and pulled him to me. ¡°So, kiss me, Nyx,¡± I whispered into his lips and he did, with a soft, gentle kiss, and being able to feel his cold lips, without being constantly assaulted by that disturbing feeling that always reminded me of how different we were, was simply amazing. But even then, the pain persisted.


    All I had to do was relax my body and I easily reached that point inside me where the inconstant ocean that were my feelings remained calm and unchanging. The warm wave that washed over me was brief, and the order that vibrated through all my cells, lightly touching my thoughts, was clear. Break the Seal.


    Gabriel pulled away from me with a jump, as if I¡¯d just stabbed him in the back, and looked at me with an incredulous expression.


    ¡°What the ¡­?¡± I smiled, happy to see the dark lines on his face receding and disappearing, and my tremors returned as his presence became stronger. As he understood what had just happened, his expression changed and the fury in his eyes made me recoil. ¡°What was that for? After all I told you!¡±


    ¡°It was nothing,¡± I grunted, looking away.


    ¡°Mariane!¡±


    The blast that filled the air was dozens of times scarier than his angry tone, making me cover my ears, my heart jumping inside my chest. When the silence returned I looked at him with a question on my lips, but received a warmer sweater and a coat that he negligently threw at me.


    ¡°Get dressed.¡± His whisper was cold and fierce, his face a mask of ice.


    I obeyed automatically, pulling the sweater over the other torn one, and a new blast echoed through the walls, making me cower. It was as if the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the whole house, were about to explode.


    ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± I managed to ask and he gave me a pair of boots, but didn¡¯t answer me.


    ¡°Suileabhan.¡± His ice cold whisper echoed throughout the entire room and a tall boy with silver eyes appeared out of nowhere. ¡°It¡¯s time. Just like we planed.¡±


    He nodded in silent agreement and walked over to me, bending to gently grab me by my arm, pulling me to my feet.


    ¡°Lea?¡± I asked, confused, and he smiled gently.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine, Mari,¡± he assured me and the deep tone of his gown-up voice, together with his teenager appearance, left me lost for a moment.


    ¡°Go.¡± Gabriel¡¯s whispered voice woke me from my trance, and Lea pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me, and I finally understood what was going on.


    ¡°No! No way! Let go of me, Lea!¡± I demanded, pushing him back with all my strength, but he didn¡¯t even budge, his arms around me feeling like an iron chain.


    ¡°It¡¯s just for a bit, Mari,¡± he told me delicately and I turned to Gabriel, stretching my arm as much as I could, trying to reach him.


    ¡°I want to stay! It is my wish to stay!¡± I said in one breath, recalling the strength my wishes had always had, but he just smiled with that gentle expression.


    The room around me spun, covering me in darkness. I felt dizzy, and sick to my stomach, and had no other choice but to hold onto Lea, afraid I might fall in the dark precipice beneath my feet.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 29 - Part 3

    The cold rain and the sound of strange words, whose melody I¡¯d learned to recognize by now, brought me back from a vertiginous world of dizziness. I saw something shimmer on the floor, all around us, and a bluish wall rose from the ground and covered us, forming a small dome. Still confused I noticed I was sitting in the middle of a huge Magic Circle, and that Lea was standing just a few feet away, checking the bright symbols inscribed on the floor.


    I tired my best to stand up, my legs still shaky, and fought the dizziness that tried to pull me down again. I looked around, still astounded, and dried my wet face, noticing that the barrier around us even protected us from the rain that kept falling on the outside. From what I was able to understand from the dark shadows surrounding us, we were somewhere amongst trees, maybe the small park near my house.


    ¡°Mari, are you all right?¡± Two big, warm hands held me gently, but I instinctively pushed him away.


    ¡°Take me back!¡± I ordered him and his worried expression was replaced by a deep disappointment.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Lea!¡± I contested and he ran a hand through his wet hair.


    ¡°Anyway, it won¡¯t be long.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand!¡± I claimed in exasperation. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to just defeat him! She wants to make him cross his own limits, so that he himself ends up destroying everything, so that there¡¯s nothing left to keep him here!¡±


    ¡°Master will never do such a thing,¡± he guaranteed me with absolute certainty and I nodded.


    ¡°Exactly. And then what happened the last time will happen again!¡±Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°My Master will never lose to such inferior evocations.¡±


    ¡°And so if he doesn¡¯t? What about Alexander? And Jonathan?¡± I insisted and he averted his gaze. ¡°I can stop her!¡± I declared but Lea shook his head in absolute denial.


    ¡°Sigweardiel knows all too well the risks implied in this war. Besides, even if I did want to help you, I can¡¯t. Master told me specifically to keep you in this Circle until everything is over. That¡¯s what we all decided after our last encounter with Telane. I can¡¯t disobey him.¡±


    And that was that, I knew.


    It was as if the ground below my feet had disappeared. The certainty that Lea would never let me go, and that I had to stay in that place, far from him, plunged my mind into darkness. Walls I didn¡¯t know existed rose inside me, closing over me, threatening to crush me. Just like Lea had told me, I knew he would never use his power to defeat Telane, afraid he might destroy everything around him. She probably knew that as well, I realized in terror, and that¡¯s why she was attacking him, even though he was so much stronger than her. But that would mean that he¡¯d be at her mercy, just like what happened eighty years ago, when his Brothers had Sealed him away. And a dark fear took over me when my mind played in front of my eyes all the possible terrible scenarios, until there was only one coherent thought left. I have to go to him.


    My own voice resonated through the ocean inside me and echoed back a similar response. It was the second time I could consciously access that point of total harmony and I finally understood what he¡¯d meant when he¡¯d told me about the synchronicity between my Soul and my Human feelings. The heat wave that washed over me made me hold my breath and a golden light broke through the shadows that had stolen my sight.


    With trembling hands I looked inside my sweater for the origin of that glow and held the small, incandescent ring tight in my hand. I recalled his words, when he¡¯d told me how and when I¡¯d be able to activate the powers Sealed inside the Circle, and reinforced my own will.


    ¡°Mari?!¡±


    I ignored Lea¡¯s worried voice and closed my eyes, squeezing the ring. Inside me there was only one will, only one command. I¡¯d never felt so whole, so complete, so free of any doubts or questions. I took a deep breath and allowed my voice to echo my determination.


    ¡°Take me to him!¡±

 Chapter 30 - Part 1

    Chapter 30


    LIL


    ¨C The Vision of The Crowned and Conquering Child, the Lord Of the Aeon.1 ¨C


    ¡°If I was born when I loved you ... what will there be left of me once you¡¯re gone ...?¡±


    The blast that echoed around me, followed by the shrieking sound of something breaking, sent me at high speed through an incandescent and bright tunnel.


    The sudden braking, just a few seconds later left me lost and breathless, and the darkness around me blinded me again. For a moment I was completely deaf, the blast still echoing in my ears, but as the memory of that explosion started to fade, other sounds became progressively clearer.


    I tried to focus my sight, demanding that my eyes get used to the sudden lack of light, and I almost screamed when I was suddenly aware that I was floating midair, very much above anything that could be called ground. For a moment I just stood there, terrified and unable to move, afraid that the Magic that kept me there might suddenly cease its effect, dropping me into a deadly fall. But then, the sound of metal against metal startled me, and I dared look down to where the sound was coming from.


    I recognized the place at a glance, since Gabriel himself had taken me there just a few nights ago to show me his colorful barrier; the place where we had begun, where he had kissed me for the first time.


    Practically below my feet was a large dome of light, much like the one where Lea had held me prisoner just until a few minutes ago. Inside it two shadows seemed to appear and disappear, clashing violently against each other, making the dome shake and vibrate in loud blasts.


    I saw Alexander, standing to a side, trying to keep that barrier in place and, a few steps behind him, Jonathan, incarcerated in a barrier of his own, bending over himself, his young face a painful mask of suffering.


    Jonathan ¡­


    His name echoed in my mind and, even before I could form a concrete thought, I was there, right beside him, my feet touching the ground as I regained my Human weight.


    The protection around him melted away, slowly and quietly before my presence, crumbling into small bright sparkles of light that disappeared into the night. I looked at him, practically kneeling beside me and stretched a hand to touch him, and was immediately lost in the surreal way my skin kept glowing. I still hadn¡¯t noticed it, I mused as I looked down at myself, at how my entire body was covered by that strange glow, and I instantly decided I wouldn¡¯t lose any more time on that. At least that light seemed to make me immune to the terrifying presence of the two Shedim fighting just a few steps away, for which I was truly thankful.


    When I looked at Jonathan he was staring back at me, as if he¡¯d just noticed my presence, and then his face seemed to come alight with an amazed expression of admiration.


    I smiled at him, trying to reassure him, and he slowly took my inviting hand, allowing me to help him up. And then my eyes could also see it. See how, like me, he also glowed. But his light was incarcerated by numerous thin, dark lines, as if a net of darkness surrounded him, limiting and trapping his light. I wondered if that was what Alexander saw when he¡¯d said that we glowed.


    Jonathan seemed even more amazed to be able to easily stand up and I smiled proudly, knowing that, just as I¡¯d wished, I¡¯d been able to free him from the pain implicit in being Alexander¡¯s Medium.


    A blue and green electrical discharge crackled through the air, transforming night into day and crashing against the dome, leaving me deaf once more. My gaze turned towards the two shadows that moved so fast that I could hardly see them, and I noticed that, just like before, unlike Gabriel, Telane had dark wings sprouting out of her back, allowing her to move faster than him. Even so, the electrical discharges that periodically jumped from her white hands never seemed to reach her target, exploding against Alexander¡¯s barrier. Her long coppery hair was like a trail of fire, burning behind her as she moved. And the bloody determination in her golden eyes was enough to make anyone aware of the danger of just standing close to her.


    The air shrieked in a frightening sound and I felt Jonathan¡¯s hand, still locked with mine, tremble. Alexander seemed to focus even harder, mumbling words under his breath, and then an enormous dark matter surrounded Telane, spiraling around her at a vertiginous speed.


    I felt my stomach quiver in the first typical reaction I had, and forced myself to take a deep breath so I wouldn¡¯t be dragged from that peaceful place that allowed me to keep my balance. I pushed down all Human emotions like fear or panic, emotions that I knew my Soul would never have, and tried to keep the inner harmony that I¡¯d managed to reach.


    Gabriel stopped his attack, pulling back with two huge jumps, and Jonathan stepped closer to me, trembling uncontrollably.


    ¡°The barrier will never hold.¡± I heard his hoarse voice, and his fear made the constantly still waters under my feet vibrate.


    Protect them.


    The command bubbled up inside me once more, before I could even consciously think about it, and then a terrible blast echoed all around us, plunging us into darkness.


    Even before I could see or understand what had just happened, I felt a painful and violent impact, and only then realized that it had been the result of trying to contain that monstrous force. I almost fainted when I couldn¡¯t breathe and pain coursed through my body, tearing it into pieces from the inside out, and I wondered if that was what Jonathan felt every time Alexander¡¯s barrier was attacked.


    I fought to raise my head, gasping for air, and warm hands supported me, helping me stand up.


    ¡°Mari! Are you all right?¡±


    The urgency and preoccupation in his voice reached me as if coming from very far away and, when I noticed, there were small bright lights everywhere, and not only covering the barrier, but also surrounding Alexander and Gabriel.


    ¡°Mari!!¡± Lea¡¯s voice erased my confusion and I saw a small boy running towards me. Alexander, just a few steps from me, was staring at me in a mix of pure astonishment and horror. And yet my gaze didn¡¯t stop on any of them, as I prepared myself to face his anger, knowing that what I was doing would probably make him furious. I found him easily enough, standing not far from where I stood, his long dark hair completely drenched, his shirt sticking to his chest, probably from being under the rain before Alexander had raised his dome. I noticed he held his crescent moon spear and that his eyes were glowing with that crimson light. But the anger I¡¯d readied myself to face as he looked at me, wasn¡¯t there. And couldn¡¯t help feeling kind of embarrassed when I noticed his dazed, almost mesmerized expression, as he kept staring at me.


    My attention immediately turned to Telane, and the fury radiating from her left me tense. Without even making any sort of wish or request, voices invaded my head, hers sounding perceptibly clearer than the rest. I instinctively took a step back as I realized that the reason behind her anger was me, and felt Jonathan gently tug at my arm, although I couldn¡¯t really hear what he was saying.


    ¡®You! How¡¯s this even possible? I must be wrong ... She can¡¯t be Human! And if she¡¯s not, then ...¡¯


    All I could do was take a sharp breath, as I understood that those were her thoughts that I was hearing, and that she was about to kill me.


    The blast that echoed around us was even stronger than the one before and the shrieking sound of Alexander¡¯s barrier breaking hurt my ears. I know I screamed, although my voice was lost somewhere, and I pulled Jonathan to me, hugging him, fearing my light wouldn¡¯t be enough to protect him. I cringed and closed my eyes when a savage, cutting wind whipped at my face, roaring all around me, and I had to make use of all my strength so that I wouldn¡¯t be dragged away by it.


    The cold rain that fell in heavy drops drenched me immediately and, when I dared open my eyes again I was startled by the gleaming point of the shaky dagger standing there, just two fingers away from my forehead. The heavy pressure all around us almost pushed me away from that silent place, clouding my thoughts for a moment, and all I could see was that metallic point and a grotesque, massive dark shadow covering the world, as if I¡¯d gone blind again.


    Struggling against the fear that had started to take over again, I tried to regain my balance, to make sure I didn¡¯t leave that quiet place, even though invisible chains kept pulling me down towards the darkness. I had to stay there, I thought, even as my eyes followed that dagger, and the white perfect, shaky hand that held it, followed by a marble arm until I reached a pair of golden eyes that burned incandescently as they stared hatefully at me. And then I saw it, the hand around her neck, a hand that I knew all too well, and I could finally see him, as if he¡¯d just materialized from thin air. The darkness in front of me gained meaning and I knew I was looking at his back, that the black shadows that engulfed the world were really his wings of destruction. His presence was stronger than I¡¯d ever felt before, more deadly and frightening, so cold and cruel that I had to struggle to keep standing and not be swatted by his intense rage.


    I felt Jonathan being pulled away from my arms and looked back at Alexander who had stolen him from me, hugging him protectively, while reaching out his other hand towards me, encouraging me to take it. Lea was hiding behind his legs, his silver eyes wide with fear as he peered at us, looking just like any other scared child would. And I knew, just by looking at his dark, severe expression, that Alexander was about to take them away, somewhere safe, probably somewhere very far from there. In his mind Gabriel had become too dangerous, gone beyond the point where he would be able to control his rage and power, and there was nothing any of them could do.


    And so I smiled, as if thanking him for his offer, and turned my gaze towards that massive shadow that just kept standing there, right before me, holding at arms length the threat that would have certainly stolen my life, if he hadn¡¯t released his power that had allowed him to be faster than her.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    This time, I consciously chose to listen to his thoughts, knowing I was once more borrowing the power Sealed inside the Circle around my neck, and all that reached me from either him or Telane were horrifying scattered images of death and blood.


    I forced my shaky legs to move and took a step to the side, away from that death threat still pointed at my head, and Telane¡¯s golden eyes flashed in frustration as she followed my every move, although he kept her completely still.


    I took a few more steps and, hesitantly, stopped at Gabriel¡¯s side, peering up at him, completely ignoring her presence. His stone, white face carved on that enraged expression was dripping water, just like mine, his eyes completely red, without a single hint of violet, locked on her in a silent and deadly threat.


    Moving as slowly as he used to, I raised a hand and placed it on his outstretched arm, the same that persistently tried to choke Telane to death, knowing that were she Human her neck would have been broken in two a long time ago. The electrical shock that jumped at my fingers left my arm numb all the way up to the elbow, and his thoughts invaded my mind, much clearer than before, causing me pain and trying to drag me towards a torrent of madness.


    My name echoed in his mind repeatedly, always associated with an abyss that went much farther and deeper than mere fear or terror. And yet, among the horrifying things that filled his mind, I found what I was looking for, the thought that would allow me to break through and reach his closed mind. I took a deep breath, focusing on the exact words I wanted to send him, trying to give him more than mere words, enveloping every one of them in my own feelings to make sure he knew that they were true.


    ¡°Not for me ... never for me. That¡¯s not what I wish for!"


    I felt him shudder and the muscles from his arm grew stiffer, almost like strained ropes.


    ¡°She tried to kill her! It¡¯s the second time! There won¡¯t be a third." I heard his voice in my head, harsh and dark, and deadly, and shook my head.


    ¡°No, Nyx ... Because you don¡¯t really want to kill her. And she doesn¡¯t want to kill you either. All she wants is for you to win this war ... and that¡¯s something you¡¯ll have to do, whether you want to or not. But she¡¯s not an enemy you have to eliminate."


    Although he remained motionless, his crimson eyes turned towards me and I couldn¡¯t help shudder before that terrifying image. I was sure he did not see me when he looked at me like that and, for a split second, I wished I had accepted Alexander¡¯s invitation and ran away from that place.


    I quickly erased that thought and squeezed his stiff arm, as if that could help me keep my fear under control. I raised my other hand that wouldn¡¯t stop shaking, and stood on the tip of my toes to reach his ice-like face.


    ¡°Release her,¡± I whispered and felt his arm shake. ¡°Everything¡¯s fine ... trust me ... and let her go,¡± I told him gently and wondered if it had been just my words, or some other power hidden inside the golden Circle. All I know is that his expression became somehow softer, as if someone had taken a heavy weight from him, his menacing eyes looking at me with an almost mesmerized expression, and I smiled, encouraging him to do as I said. As if all strength had abandoned him, his arm became limp and fell to his side, letting go of her, and Telane quickly stepped back, coughing and gasping for air as she clutched her hurt neck.


    I held his face between my hands, making him turn his head towards me, making sure he looked only at me, and he unconsciously bent slightly so I could easily reach him, his drenched hair falling around his face. I smiled, making sure I didn¡¯t turn my gaze away from his threatening eyes, and gently caressed his face.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine,¡± I insisted and the pained expression that crossed his face made my heart hurt as well.


    His crescent moon spear disappeared in a cloud of black ash, and his arms moved slowly to encircle me, barely touching me. I smiled again, still caressing his face, still facing him unwavering and, to my surprise, he bent one knee in an incredibly elegant movement, and knelt down in front of me, his black wings exploding in small dark sparkles that were quickly dragged away by the rain. The air became immediately lighter, the pressure gone, taking part of my own tension with it, and his trembling arms pulled me closer. I held my breath when he rested his head against my chest, his cold, wet hair making me shiver, and I pulled my arms around him, holding him there as his pain made the still waters inside me hum and vibrate gently.


    Suddenly Telane¡¯s presence filled the air, reminding me of her existence, and, not knowing how, everything else disappeared, leaving me cold and empty. I know I turned my head to look at her and it seemed it wasn¡¯t my head at all. And, although I could easily feel her hatred and fury directed at me, in reality I couldn¡¯t feel anything, as if her dark emotions simply passed through me. In the emptiness inside me there was only one thing, only one certainty; I was not going to allow her to take him away from me again! I was not going to give her a single part of him! Not his anger, not his fury, not his hatred, not his crimson eyes. Everything about him, even his darkest feelings, everything was mine!


    Her thoughts reached me again, completely clear. She did not want to destroy him. She wanted to kill me. Because I was the only thing keeping him there. Because I held him prisoner of his own will, because I controlled him and made him weak and submissive, far from the Gabriel she knew and wanted. Her Gabriel was great, and powerful, and cruel and untouchable. He could easily destroy the whole world if he wanted, and he never felt remorse, or guilt, or pain. He was like a dark shadow majestically standing on top of a pile of death and destruction. And he would win that war for her! Seeing him kneeling like that, in front of a mere insignificant Human was beyond wrong, it was inadmissible!


    And yes, I knew part of what she thought was right, especially how wrong it was that he would turn towards someone like me. But I also knew she didn¡¯t know him at all! Or at least I wanted to believe she didn¡¯t. Because her Gabriel would never even glance at me. My frail and insignificant existence wouldn¡¯t mean anything to him. And even if she was right, and he really used to be that being, I¡¯d never allow him to go back, even if it meant his death. He belonged to me! And I would never concede to a Gabriel that would walk by me without even glancing my way, no matter how selfish that would be.


    Unable to feel fear I watched as Telane¡¯s white hands were covered with green and blue sparkles and her intention to use them against me became clear in my head. I felt Gabriel¡¯s arms squeeze me gently and he took a deep breath, regretting having to let go of me, regretting having to go back to fighting her, wishing he would have killed her long ago, so that I wouldn¡¯t have to be there to see all that, to be placed in such a danger, to see his terrifying self as he fought. And yet, now that it¡¯d come to this, he would protect me no matter the cost.


    My whole being vibrated and I deeply despised that red-headed creature that made him feel like that; that was trying to take him from me. And the command echoed throughout my entire body, from a place much beyond any thought or desire.


    Bind her!


    The white lights that aimlessly filled the air after Alexander¡¯s dome had been shattered to pieces, flew at high speed towards Telane, surrounding her and blinding her for a moment. She screamed, uselessly swatting the lights as if they were flies, and her fury exploded against the bright barrier that now surrounded her.


    The effort needed to resist that shock was more intense than the previous one, and I felt as something inside me cracked and broke, driving me to the brink of madness. I heard screaming and only afterwards realized that it was my own voice I was hearing, and cold hands held me, as urgent, confusing voices surrounded me.


    ¡°Mariane! Mariane! Look at me! Look at me!!¡± His severe command echoed inside me and it was impossible not to obey. I opened my eyes and gasped for air, as if I¡¯d been submerged in dark waters for eternities. The pain that washed over my body was very much real, my muscles burning and melting, and I clenched my teeth so I wouldn¡¯t scream again.


    I heard Alexander¡¯s voice intoning strange words and Telane¡¯s screams echoed savagely, filling the air.


    ¡°How can you be so stupid?¡± I heard his bitter whisper and only then noticed that the cold rain wasn¡¯t the only thing wetting my face. Warm tears slid down my skin, blurring my vision, robbing the sight of his worried violet eyes from me.


    ¡°Izrail!¡± Alexander¡¯s voice called out, urgently, and Gabriel placed a hand on my neck to make sure I looked up at him.


    ¡°Release her,¡± he commanded and I just shook my head, stubbornly, trying to bear the agonizing pain in silence. ¡°Release her, Mariane! Sigweardiel can contain her now! Or are you going to tell me you want to die here?¡±


    Somewhere inside me his dry, apparently unfeeling words shocked me. I¡¯d never thought about dying! But dying wouldn¡¯t be all that bad, right? At least I¡¯d die in his arms, and I would die being helpful, that should be acceptable in terms of a brief and insignificant life like mine. But then, if I died, when I died, she would get free! And I couldn¡¯t allow that. I would never let him fight her again! I would never let her steal him from me like that again! Make him look at me with those unseeing eyes! There was only one solution. Before I died, I would destroy her, I decided.


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His voice broke through my thoughts once again and his face leaned over mine, his dripping wet hair falling over my neck. His hand twitched in pain as he touched my face and was burned by my tears, but the pain in his eyes was so much darker that my mind went suddenly completely blank. ¡°You cannot leave me. I won¡¯t allow it,¡± he whispered and his voice shook because, in the end, he knew the truth; that if I died there there was nothing else he could do, and that I¡¯d be forever out of his reach.


    Apparently, his pain was more than I could bear, and that unfeeling part of me recoiled and returned to the still waters from where she¡¯d emerged, allowing my more Human, compassionate self to regain control of my own thoughts and decisions, making his pain even harder to bear.


    Without even thinking about it, the white lights shot through the air once again, crashing against me, disappearing under my skin, even though I couldn¡¯t feel a single thing. And then I was whole again, and was shivering again, and was cold, and tired, and my Human, normal self again. His arms were around me in one second, holding me carefully against his cold, wet body, and I took a deep breath.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine. I¡¯m fine,¡± I managed to mutter even though my mind was muddled about a lot of things, and he let go of me just enough so he could look at me, his expression hard and severe.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not! Everything is not fine at all!¡± he contested angrily, but then sighed. ¡°But you¡¯re freezing and soaking wet, and you need to rest, so we¡¯ll talk afterwards,¡± he decided in a softer, gentler tone, and I looked around me, trying to place myself.


    Alexander was still standing under the pouring rain, eyes closed as if he¡¯d fallen asleep in that position. And Lea and Jonathan were both looking at me with apprehensive expressions. But there was no sign of Telane.


    ¡°Where is she?¡± I asked, my voice tearing at my sore vocal cords, and he placed a nervous kiss on my temple, as if he needed to do it to make sure I was really there, alive, between his arms.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about her. Sigweardiel has her locked up in another dimension.¡±


    ¡°What are you going to do with her?¡± I asked, fearing his answer, and the endless horrifying images I¡¯d seen in his thoughts came back to my mind.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about her!¡± he insisted, frowning, reminding me of how he used to refuse to answer my questions, always telling me it was nothing I should concern myself with, and I opened my mouth to contest. ¡°Mariane! Will you, for once, just do what I tell you?¡± He cut me off before I could argue, and a warm hand held my arm gently and pulled me up. I was shocked at how easily he let go of me, and the dizziness that made the world flash and turn around me left me nauseated. Someone scooped me up from the ground and I whined under my breath, feeling sick. His cold hand on my forehead startled me.


    ¡°I won¡¯t take long, I promise,¡± he told me gently and I clenched my teeth when his violet eyes suddenly disappeared, and the world around me dissolved into dark spirals that threatened to swallow me.


    I only felt a little bit better when I was finally placed on a clearly unmoving surface that offered me some measure of safety, and still I had to take a deep breath to keep my stomach in its place.


    ¡°Mari? Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Lea,¡± I mumbled when I finally recognized him and his worried expression opened up to a bright smile. Even though he was the big Lea now, his smile hadn¡¯t changed, I mused, my mind still foggy.


    ¡°We¡¯re home,¡± he informed me and I looked around just to make sure. He was right. I was back in my room, sitting on my bed. ¡°You should get out of those wet clothes,¡± he suggested and then I was wide awake, and all that had just happened came back to me, flooding my tired mind.


    ¡°What about Gabriel?¡± I asked urgently and he smiled again, trying to appease me.


    ¡°Master is fine. He¡¯ll be back in a second. Just trust him a little,¡± he added and my temples ached painfully. ¡°Want me to help you?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Okay, then. Just get out of those clothes. I¡¯ll go and draw you a bath. You need to warm yourself or you¡¯ll get sick. Okay?¡± The idea of sinking my freezing body in a pool of hot water sounded perfect.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I replied in my broken voice and he smiled, much happier.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡± He turned to leave and I heard his small bell ringing as he went down the stairs, that clear sound making me feel more relaxed.


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Chapter 30 - Part 2

    It took me sometime until I was able to move. My freezing body wouldn¡¯t stop shaking and I was sure that moving would be very painful. Even so I got up, wincing and swallowing my cries of pain, and took off my wet sweater that fell heavily on the floor. My skin was even colder than Gabriel¡¯s, the drops of water falling from my wet hair and sliding down my back an absolute torture.


    The sound of something heavy falling on the floor startled me, leaving me immediately alert as my gaze flew to the half-closed door. For a moment I could hardly breathe, but then the sound of footsteps on the stairs made me sigh in relief, until it dawned on me! Unless he was running, Lea was like Gabriel, his footsteps were completely silent. And, as hard as I tried, I couldn¡¯t hear the tinkling sound of his bell. My heart jumped in panic, and I took a step back, trying to think about what to do; if I could possibly survive if I jumped out the window, since I really didn¡¯t have anywhere else to hide.


    I held my breath when the steps stopped right outside my door and my hand flew to the pair of scissors stuck in one of the metal cups on my desk. If my unwanted guest was a Human, a question by now all too common for me, I¡¯d stick the damn scissors straight through his eye. As I was, in that moment, after all I¡¯d been through, no Human could ever scare me!


    The door opened slowly, as I readied myself for my bloody attack and then, everything was blank, and I couldn¡¯t help stare at him in complete disbelief.


    ¡°Michael?¡± I muttered, blinking, wondering if I¡¯d somehow fallen asleep without noticing it.


    Michael also seemed taken aback, as if he hadn¡¯t expect to see me there, even though we were in my room. His dripping wet blond hair fell around his face, the black leather jacket he wore and his motorcycle boots leaving a small pool on the floor where he stood. And then, he suddenly seemed to wake up, and he strode into my room, going straight to my wardrobe.


    ¡°Put this on!¡± he told me dryly, throwing a flannel shirt at me that I almost couldn¡¯t catch. And I was suddenly very much aware that I¡¯d been standing there, staring at him in disbelief, wearing only my bra.


    I obeyed, awkwardly, turning my back on him to button up my shirt but, before I could even finish, his hand was already around my wrist, and he was dragging me out of the door.


    ¡°Hey! Michael! Wait!!¡± I complained, stumbling as my aching legs failed, but he ignored me and pulled me down the stairs.


    I stumbled again, and would have fallen if he hadn¡¯t pulled me up as if I were a child learning how to walk, the iron strength of his fingers around my wrist hurting me by the time we got to the ground floor.


    ¡°Stop!!¡± I commanded, angry at his silent arrogance, and tried to free my hand. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked, my voice cracking, but the look he gave me silenced my protests at once.


    His green eyes were glowing as if they were precious stones touched by the sun and something in him was suddenly very frightening.


    ¡°Don¡¯t argue with me, Mariane! And do as I tell you!¡± he simply replied and, although he hadn¡¯t raised his tone and almost sounded calm, his voice echoed inside me, giving me the creeps. I couldn¡¯t resist him when he pulled me again, helplessly stumbling forward, but as we passed by the living room door I saw a body lying on the floor that made my heart jump in agony.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called desperately but Michael didn¡¯t slow down, forcing me to keep up with him. ¡°No! Let go of me! Let go!¡± I demanded, now roaring as I fought his hand with all my strength, and he turned, wrapping a hand around my waist and easily scooping me from the ground,


    I screamed, and hit him, and kicked him, and screamed again until my already hoarse throat almost couldn¡¯t scream anymore, but nothing made him free me, or stop dragging me outside where the rain mercilessly drenched us again.


    I wanted to cry but had no tears. I wanted to get free from his hold but didn¡¯t have enough strength. My wishes all echoed empty inside of me. Because my Soul felt nothing for Lea, she didn¡¯t care one little bit about what Michael might want with me, nothing would be able to move her except for Gabriel, and Gabriel wasn¡¯t there.


    Michael dropped me on the seat of his bike, holding me firmly, bearing indifferently my constant kicks and punches. But no matter how hard he held me there was no way I was just going to quietly sit there, and there was no way he could start that bike with me thrashing around like that. He sighed deeply and wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling me back against his chest, squeezing just enough to stop me from breathing.


    ¡°Sit still, or I swear I¡¯ll put you to sleep,¡± he threatened in a whisper as cold as the rain and the shock that washed over me at that warning left me stunned for a second, time enough for him to send his bike roaring down the street.


    I could hardly breathe at the speed he was going, the ice cold rain feeling like stones thrown against me, making me raise my arms to protect my face, and I was sure he was going to kill us both, the wheels of his motorbike squealing against the wet pavement. The curves left me sick to my stomach, making me feel dizzy again, and I would have fallen from the seat more than once, if not for the arm wrapped around my waist, holding me in place against his warm body.


    When he finally stopped, the first thing I did was bend to the side and throw up, but there was nothing in my stomach. His hand grabbed me again, dragging me mercilessly, and I fell on my knees, breathing heavily, my ice cold hair sticking to my face, making me feel really sick. Still he pulled me up again, forcing me to walk even though every muscle in my body hurt. I know I stumbled up some stairs and finally his hand let go of me, and I fell on a hard ground as cold as the rain that had wet me, but finally a blessed motionless surface. The slamming of a heavy door filled the air, startling me, and his footsteps walked by me, making me feel relieved that he was walking away.


    I fought to quickly sort out my thoughts, feeling too confused and tired, pain muddling my brain. I noticed that it wasn¡¯t raining anymore, although it was so cold that I couldn¡¯t stop shivering. With a stab of pain I remembered Lea¡¯s body lying on the floor by the living room door and clenched my hands, looking for strength to raise my head.


    I saw him standing a few steps away, his back turned to me as he faced an altar illuminated by a heavy chandelier. I felt lost and looked around me, and noticed that we were in a church, obviously empty at that time of night.


    Taking a deep breath, I held on to one of the wooden benches, and forced my shaky legs to obey me and support my weight as they should. The world around me spun dangerously as I stood up, and I held on to the bench until the dizziness subsided.


    ¡°Michael!¡± I called out to him once I regained my composure, and my hoarse voice echoed eerily.


    I saw him shudder, before he turned back to me, and facing his pained and guilty expression broke my anger and determination.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Mari. Everything¡¯s going to be all right,¡± he said, coming towards me, and the memory of the unbreakable prison that were his arms made me take a step back. He stopped, giving up on the idea of coming any closer, and his pained expression became even bitterer. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I hurt you.¡±


    ¡°Why did you bring me here?¡± I demanded and only then noticed that it wasn¡¯t the first time we were in that place.


    He seemed to hear my thoughts and smiled lightly as he looked around.


    ¡°Remember when we first came here?¡± I didn¡¯t answer and he took a deep, melancholic breath. ¡°You told me you were looking for an angel because yours had fallen asleep, and you thought I could never fulfill that task.¡± I trembled when he looked at me with that same intensity from before. ¡°I brought you here to protect you!¡± he declared and his voice echoed like a thunder all around us.


    ¡°Protect?¡± I repeated, not knowing if I should feel confused or frightened. ¡°Protect me from what?¡± I asked in a whisper, trying to call him back to reason, but apparently my words only fired his anger even more.


    ¡°Protect you from what! Protect you from what?!¡± he shouted, his voice a threatening crescendo, and he was on me before I could even think of escaping, and I stumbled and almost fell back, but he held me by my arm.


    He pulled me against his warm body and I screamed in panic, pushing him away with all my strength, unable to get free again. He grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled it hard, breaking the sewing threads that kept the buttons in place, and pulled it down my arm, undressing me roughly. I cringed instinctively and he grabbed me again, shaking me, making me dizzy and nauseated.


    ¡°You¡¯re still asking what? Look at this! Look!¡± he ordered, his voice like a thunder again, and I obeyed, trembling. My eyes fell upon the dark marks left on my skin, the bruises I had ignored as if they¡¯d never existed, the same that Gabriel¡¯s cold hands had given me. ¡°On your arms. On your chest. On your back. Where else did he touch you?¡±


    The shock lit a smoldering anger inside me.


    ¡°Let go of me!¡± I demanded dryly and he seemed perplexed by my sudden apparent firmness.


    ¡°Mariane! He¡¯ll end up destroying you!¡± he insisted, resisting through all my attempts to get free, and I faced him severely. ¡°Can¡¯t you see? I only want what¡¯s best for you. I only want to protect you. And although I understand that, up till now, you had to deal with all this on your own, you no longer need to. You no longer need to stay with him!¡±


    ¡°Michael!¡± I shouted, hurting my sore throat. I couldn¡¯t even hear those words. What did he know of what I needed? My anger turned against him again and I fought to get free from his unyielding hands. ¡°Let go!¡± I shouted and a thunder crackled all around us, as if ricocheting on the walls, making the ground under my feet shake.


    Cold wind broke my anger and I only noticed that there wasn¡¯t anything holding me anymore when I stumbled forward. I held on to the bench once more, to stop myself from falling, and made sure I was still breathing before I raised my head.


    Alexander was standing right in front of me, his presence so cold and fierce that it made me shudder. But he wasn¡¯t the only one. And, as I looked back, I saw Gabriel leaning against the now wide opened, tall wooden door, his arms folded over his chest, like an authentic inanimate block of ice.


    Jonathan stepped forward with hesitant steps, dripping water all over the place, and stopped beside me. However, he didn¡¯t even look at me, his anxious gaze locked on Alexander¡¯s straight back, his tension leaving me apprehensive.


    The sound of laughter filled the air around us, startling me. And only then I noticed that Michael was lying on the floor at the base of the altar, as if he¡¯d been thrown across the air by an invisible force, to somewhere far away from me. I was immediately worried that he might be hurt, and then noticed he was the one laughing, and, in complete disbelief, saw him stand up effortlessly.


    His green eyes glowed coldly, as if burning in a green cold fire, and I inhaled sharply, since I had never imagined his gentle face could be able of an expression like that, my heart beating too fast, making my chest hurt.


    ¡°How dare you come in here?¡± I heard his voice, clear and strong, the implicit threat dripping out of his every single word, and I knew immediately he wasn¡¯t talking to me anymore.


    ¡°Because it would seem you have a serious hearing problem. It¡¯s the second time she tells you to let go and that you¡¯re not quite able to listen,¡± Alexander replied in that same restrained tone, but contempt was thick in his voice.


    ¡°This matter does not concern you!¡± Michael stated severely and I felt Jonathan¡¯s anxiety grow by the minute, contaminating me.


    ¡°That it¡¯s not for the likes of you to decide,¡± Alexander replied and Michael smiled, but that same expression that had always brought me comfort and warmth could only make me shiver, leaving me certain that he could not be real, that he could not be the Michael I knew.


    ¡°Oh, really? Who should decide then?¡± he asked ironically and his voice lowered to a deeper menacing tone. ¡°You¡¯re interfering in something that it¡¯s none of your business! Because you¡¯re nothing but a dog at the beck and call of that thing, over there!¡± My heart almost stopped knowing he was referring to Gabriel. I waited in fear for his fury, or to simply watch as he appeared at Michael¡¯s side and shredded him to pieces, right there and then.


    Alexander seemed to share my thoughts and his bright sword appeared out of thin air in his right hand.


    ¡°You think what you like! That thing over there won¡¯t have to lift a single finger to put you out of your misery!¡± he growled in a dark threat, and Michael laughed again, insanely, as I begged in my thoughts that he would just run away while he could!


    ¡°And what can a fallen one like you do against me?¡± Michael demanded and everything inside me fell into a deep silence. ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a traitor!¡±


    ¡°You may even be right. But at least I didn¡¯t abandon anyone!¡± Alexander replied with pure loathing and Michael smiled coldly again.


    ¡°No, you dragged him down with you. And what is he now? Nothing but an aberration, just like you! What was the use of breaking the Law? A broken thing will never be able to save anyone!¡± he declared and Alexander¡¯s rage was so intense that it left me breathless.


    Black feathers scattered all over the place and then he wasn¡¯t standing there anymore. A thunderous sound echoed throughout the entire church, and my eyes anxiously flew all over the place, looking for him. I stopped breathing when I saw Alexander leaning over Michael, his face a furious mask. And it took me some time to understand that Michael had been able to stop his attack, that he was smiling coldly, and that he was holding a sword much like Alexander¡¯s.


    Alexander swiftly jumped back, his legs flexing as if he were an animal, his head bending low as he faced his enemy, and Michael stood up, holding his sword that looked almost made of light, readying himself for the next attack.


    I was unable to move as I watched Alexander¡¯s face slowly change, becoming progressively less like him, taking on the expression of the emotions commanding his actions. And I recalled what he¡¯d told me about constantly fighting against certain parts of him, stopping them from emerging, so that he could remain who he was. My chest hurt as I realized that Michael had been wrong, that he wasn¡¯t a fallen one, but that he was still falling, losing himself piece by piece every time he allowed his dark emotions to take over him, like what was happening right now. And I wished I could stop him, I wished I could run to hold him back, but my shaky legs just wouldn¡¯t move and my throat was too dry to emit any sound. Alexander raised his bright sword that looked like a shadow when compared to Michael¡¯s, and Michael smiled at him in a cold challenge, as if he were unable to fear him.


    ¡°Sigweardiel!¡± The young, clear voice that filled the air with that shout was like a blast of cold wind over a scorching desert, and everything was suddenly very quiet and silent, so much so that, for the first time, I could hear the rain falling outside.


    Alexander slowly straightened his back and lowered his sword as if he¡¯d received an irresistible command, and Jonathan stepped forward, his head raised high, passing by me and then by Alexander without even acknowledging neither of our presences.


    Michael was also looking at him, his burning green eyes intimidating, although he seemed intrigued by the boy¡¯s sudden interference. And Jonathan stopped just a few steps from him, facing him with absolute and unwavering determination.


    ¡°Sigweardiel is my Guardian!¡± he declared with such vehemence that Alexander shuddered. ¡°I will not allow you to destroy him!¡±


    ¡°He is no Guardian,¡± Michael replied in a warmer, condescending tone, more like the Michael I knew, almost as if he felt sorry for the delusional boy looking up at him. ¡°And you are not a Human Being. Or do you believe you are?¡±


    Jonathan closed his hands into two tight fists, and I regretfully recalled how that was a painful subject for him. Even so he kept his head high, still facing him, and he was suddenly not a boy at all, certainly not frail or vulnerable.


    ¡°I may not know what I am, but I know all too well what I¡¯m not!¡± he admitted. ¡°However, my Soul is still a Gaalgha¡¯s Soul! And, as a Gaalgha, I will not allow you to destroy him!¡± He practically threatened Michael, who slightly tilted his head to a side, as if reflecting on the boy¡¯s words.


    ¡°With that curse on you, you¡¯ll never be able to use your Soul¡¯s power, even if you could make your feelings one, which I seriously doubt,¡± Michael concluded.


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong about that,¡± Jonathan replied, apparently indifferent to what he¡¯d said, when I knew all too well how those words had hurt him. ¡°I may not survive, and I¡¯ll probably shatter into pieces, but I guarantee you that I¡¯ll be able to use it. And you! You¡¯ll have destroyed a Gaalgha.¡±


    Alexander took a step forward, his face a mask of pure terror. ¡°Jonathan, please,¡± he mumbled pleadingly, but seemed unable to dissuade him.


    I wrapped my arms around me and dug my nails into my own skin. I was the only one to blame for all this mess, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to either one of them. In any case I just couldn¡¯t keep running away, pretending not to see the truth, allowing my usual escape pattern to cost me the life of someone I cared for.


    ¡°Enough,¡± I said in my almost inaudible voice, but still they all turned back to look at me. I took a deep breath, reinforcing my decision, and raised my head, ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± I repeated and looked for the courage to speak my next words. ¡°I need a moment with ... Michael ... alone, please,¡± I declared and, even without seeing it, I felt as Gabriel moved for the first time since they¡¯d arrived and left, leaving me completely frozen inside.


    Alexander seemed to notice it as well and immediately appeared by Jonathan¡¯s side, leaving a rain of black feathers on his trail, and gently pulled him back, making him move, even though Jonathan kept glaring up at Michael with that dark threat in his eyes.


    ¡°Mari, are you sure..?¡± Alexander asked me as he stopped by my side and I looked up at him, making sure I was smiling when I did. He was worried for me, I could tell, but, above all he was relieved. His arm was wrapped protectively across Jonathan¡¯s chest, his face back to his normal self, and seeing that was enough to make me absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing.


    ¡°Yes, thank you, and I¡¯m sorry,¡± I added towards Jonathan and he finally looked away from Michael, looking like a fourteen-year-old boy again, almost embarrassed even.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be close by,¡± Alexander said and I nodded.


    Watching them go was even harder then I¡¯d expected and I suddenly felt very much alone and abandoned.


    Michael was still looking at me, his expression now bitter and hurt, again the Michael I knew, although his eyes kept glowing, and his blond hair looked like it was made of gold, shining under the light of the chandelier. He averted his gaze with what looked like regret, and seemed to struggle to find the right words.


    ¡°Mari ¡­¡±


    ¡°Tell me!¡± I interrupted him, my voice rough and harsh, and he raised his head unable to understand me. ¡°I want to hear it in your own words! From your mouth. In your voice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m ... sorry,¡± he said. I shook my head in stubborn refusal and squeezed the shirt he¡¯d rendered useless.


    ¡°The truth!¡±


    ¡°Mari ...¡±


    ¡°The truth, Michael!¡± I demanded, raising my voice, hurting my throat, and for an instant that hoarse sound filled the church.


    Michael was silent for a long time, but then a sigh left his lips and, with it, his sword disappeared in a cloud of incandescent sparks that were gone even before they could reach the floor.


    ¡°The truth ¡­¡± he repeated with a sorrowful tone and I waited for him to go on. ¡°The truth is my name is ¡­ Aldaraian.¡± He hesitated, looking for a reaction, but I remained completely still. ¡°Which, in the ancient tongue means Will of God. I am a Merifri, an angel, as you Humans call us.¡± Hearing those words in his warm voice hurt much more than the rough way he¡¯d treated me just moments ago. ¡°Better yet, I¡¯m an Iaidon, a Guardian. And, in this present time, I¡¯m the Iaidon in charge of protecting the Gaalgha known, in the Human world, as ¡­ Mariane Mellis.¡±


    My name sounded all wrong in his voice, hurting me, and even though I wished I could feel anger towards him or even disgust, the only thing I could feel was that deep, sharp pain that stole my breath away. Images of him filled my mind, of his bright smile, of his warm gaze, of the moments we¡¯d spent together when I¡¯d thought he was only ... Michael. All false ... all lies ... all empty.


    ¡°You ... left me,¡± were the only words that escaped my lips and then he was there, right in front of me, startling me.


    ¡°Hush,¡± he whispered, trying to appease me, and I looked up at him, at his unnatural beauty, at how even his skin seemed to glow. ¡°I had no other choice.¡± His pained voice made me look straight into his absurdly clear eyes.


    ¡°And you erased my memories ... of you?¡±


    ¡°I had to. You¡¯d have been in pain if I had simply disappeared,¡± he clarified, but his words didn¡¯t make any sense to me. ¡°And I had to make sure you would move to a different town, too, or I would have had to manipulate the memories of everyone around you, everyone that knew you,¡± he added, softly.


    ¡°Move?¡± I repeated, still dumbfounded, still trying to make sense of all that had happened, and he nodded. ¡°The divorce? My father¡¯s offer to go to the U.S.A.?¡± I asked, now in complete disbelief, and he nodded again. A sarcastic smile took over my lips. ¡°This is ... ridiculous,¡± I mumbled almost to myself, feeling like a rag doll in the hands of stupidly strong and powerful beings. ¡°You took my father from me, he took my mother ... Jonathan was right. You¡¯re all the same!¡± I declared, resenting him deeply, and Michael frowned, that threatening expression returning to his face.


    ¡°Do not compare me to that thing!¡± he commanded rudely, but I faced him with my coldest expression.


    ¡°No? At least my mom came back to spend the holidays with me. And I¡¯ll see her again soon. I haven¡¯t seen my father at all for the last two years!¡± I accused him dryly and smiled again, the irony choking me. ¡°I should hate you!¡± I declared and he seemed shocked by my words. ¡°All this time, right beside me.¡±


    ¡°No! I swear! I swear that I didn¡¯t know!¡± He hurriedly cut me off, and then looked slightly embarrassed. ¡°Only today when I saw you on that park ... and you suddenly disappeared amongst all that light. It was as if my mind had been kept in the dark and suddenly someone had flicked the switch on, and there was light again! You have to understand, Mari!¡± He held me by my shoulders and I couldn¡¯t help recoil from his touch. ¡°I never wished for any of this to happen. I never even intended to let my presence be known to you. But your Soul was always too bright, and no matter how many barriers I placed around you, that inferior scum would always find you!¡± He spit out the words with hatred. ¡°And, of course, I¡¯d always protect you! But, for more than once, you knew that something was wrong, that you were somehow in danger, and you were so small. You started having nightmares, and you were always afraid, even to go to school. You would wake up at night, screaming in terror, and even your parents didn¡¯t know what else to do. I feared your mind might break down under the pressure and so I thought that if you knew ¡­ if you knew that I was there, always by your side, always protecting you, that you wouldn¡¯t feel so scared. And I was right.


    ¡°You suddenly stopped being afraid to go to school, and there were no more nightmares. And when you had a bad dream I would hold you in my arms and you would quickly go back to sleep. Everything was better. Your parents too, seemed a lot happier, less stressed, and I became a part of your life. Unavoidably, I loved you since the moment you were born, but loving a Gaalgha was no news to me. Even when I noticed my feelings slowly changing as you grew up, or when I became aware that your Soul didn¡¯t attract only inferior Deiwos, but irresistibly attracted my Soul as well. Even then I never felt, not even once, that I wouldn¡¯t be able to fulfill my mission.¡±


    I found myself unable to move, as if he¡¯d cast some kind of Magic Spell to keep me in that place, and the suffering that transfigured his face left me hanging.


    ¡°I told myself that the proximity between us was normal, since we knew each other since you were a child,¡± he continued, ¡°And I refused to see that I was the only one you really talked to, that it was to me you came running every time you had some news to share, that it was in me you confided your secrets. I allowed all boundaries to be crossed, one by one, under the excuse that I was your Guardian. I let you get close to me, get attached to me, because it made me feel good. I knew that I was the only one to blame for your absent social life, for your almost complete lack of friends, and that that was wrong. Because you came into this world to live a Human life. But still I allowed this to be, happy with the knowledge that I was special to you, that no one could take my place.¡±


    I felt his warm hand caress my face and my body responded the same way it had always responded, when he was still just Michael and I a silly girl in love with the school¡¯s idol.


    ¡°Recklessly, I wished you could love me, and you did love me, and from that instant on everything was lost. I could no longer resist your warm embrace ... or your touch ... or your defiant smile ... Because while you were allowed to do all these things, for me there was a clear line I could not cross. And I was afraid, because if I did cross it I¡¯d have to leave you forever, to leave you alone to fend for yourself. At that point, the only thing that mattered was that I could remain by your side.


    ¡°And so I decided to erase my existence from your mind, and then erase my own memories so that I wouldn¡¯t be tempted to get close to you again. Your parents had been discussing the divorce for quite some time then, and I took that chance to make sure you¡¯d move somewhere else, somewhere where you could start a new life. And then I made sure that, even while I slept, I could be close to you, so that I could protect you if you needed. I was too na?ve,¡± he added with a sorrowful tone and his warm hand ran across my wet hair, gently straightening it around my face. ¡°The barrier I placed around you was meant to wake me up the instant you were in danger, and it did work, twice. I woke up, defeated that inferior scum and, once my task was done, went back to sleep. But I only placed that one clause on it, to defend you from attacks coming from the outside. It never occurred to me that you¡¯d be the one to break it, from the inside out, that you¡¯d be the one to call one of them to you. And once the barrier was destroyed its effect became null, and I didn¡¯t wake up again.¡±


    The absence of his voice seemed to break the spell that kept me motionless and I took a step back to avoid his touch.


    I felt tired and confused, and clearly unable to process not even half of what he¡¯d just told me. In my mind I could only see the Michael I knew; remember the pain in his voice when he¡¯d told me about how he¡¯d lost his memory, how no one had come forth to claim him. His bitter expression when he¡¯d insisted he¡¯d done something really wrong and how he wished his life could remain the way it was. And I was suddenly aware that all that was gone ... for me as much as for him. I couldn¡¯t help thinking just how ridiculous all my inner battles had been, and I recalled what Alexander had told me about the irresistible attraction between Guardians and Gaalgha. And finally I heard Gabriel¡¯s velvet voice, his warm breath caressing my skin, as he told me that there were still things that I didn¡¯t know. ¡¯And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡¯


    I ran a cold, shaky hand over my face and took a deep breath, annoyed at the headache that insistently drummed in my head making it even harder to think clearly.


    ¡°Michael, I need time. I need to think about all this ... and right now, I¡¯m too tired,¡± I confessed, suddenly not wanting anything else but my bed, but he gave a step towards me, grabbing my shoulders again, his expression almost exasperated, as if I¡¯d completely failed to understand what he¡¯d meant.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you I love you! That I¡¯ve loved you since the day you were born!¡± he told me in one breath and his words exploded in my head.


    ¡°Stop! I don¡¯t want to hear that!¡± I shouted over his voice, fighting to get free from him again, but he didn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t you want the truth?¡±


    ¡°Everything but that! Let go of me!¡±


    He held my right arm roughly, pulling the velvet ribbon that I kept around my wrist, and the ribbon broke, hurting my skin.


    ¡°Why? Because of this? Because of this damn Contract?¡± he shouted and I was suddenly quiet as I noticed that the small mark was still there, the relief that washed over me robing my legs of their strength, making me tremble. ¡°You have nothing to fear, Mari. It¡¯s all right. I know you did it for me,¡± he told me, his voice soft again, even though his hand kept squeezing my arm. ¡°But you know ¡­ this, none of this is valid. Because he could never promise to give you something that was already yours to begin with. All this time, he has been deceiving you!¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I practically growled, pulling my hand free from his grip and held my wrist against my chest, protectively. ¡°You¡¯re lying!¡±


    Michael put a sorrowful expression on his face. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, but it will be all right. You won¡¯t have to see him ever again. And since that Contract is invalid, I can easily erase that horrible mark from your skin, and you¡¯ll be able to go back to your everyday life.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I shouted again, and stepped back, as the world spun around me, dark walls closing down on me, making it hard to breathe. ¡°No! I don¡¯t want to! I don¡¯t want to live without him!¡±


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His severe tone startled me, filling the air around us with that thundering sound, and still I raised my head to face him, to defend what little happiness I¡¯d found.


    ¡°I am not the same anymore! I am not your Mariane anymore!¡±


    ¡°You are Gaalgha!!¡± he roared in his thunder-like voice and his skin glowed even more, his face a furious mask. ¡°And Gaalgha have no business near despicable creatures like Deiwos!¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything to me! And this Contract ... this Contract too, even if it is invalid, I don¡¯t care! I want to stay with him!¡± I declared without a shadow of a doubt, and the thunder that roared all around us made me dizzy.


    The pain of being thrown against something hard and cold sent needles throughout my entire body and I had to gasp for air. His warm hand surrounded my neck, immobilizing me like before, making me stand on the tips of my toes so I wouldn¡¯t choke, and his face leaned over mine with a sorrowful expression of regret.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I cannot allow that,¡± he whispered softly, his warm breath caressing my lips, and I uselessly clawed at his hand, fighting for every breath. ¡°I promise I won¡¯t hurt you. I¡¯ll just erase all your memories again and take you somewhere far, where you¡¯ll be able to start anew, and where you¡¯ll live the Human life you were born to experience.¡±


    Despair washed over me and warm tears slid down my face, tears that could never hurt him and that thus were easily ignored.


    He placed his other hand on my forehead, and I clawed and scratched his face when his lips touched mine, stealing the little air I¡¯d been able to manage.


    My wrist burned painfully and I sobbed, feeling as if I was being torn into pieces. Everything in me was pain, and anguish, and despair, and another voice, equally torn, rose inside me.


    You cannot lose him! Call him to you! she commanded, but I didn¡¯t know how to call him if I couldn¡¯t even speak.


    And then I could see it, as clear as day, the page from where I¡¯d read the Magic Spell that had released him and, in reality, there was only one word, one word that really mattered, and I wondered how I¡¯d never seen it before.


    ¡¯Ishanyx!!¡¯


    It was as if a bomb had exploded right next to my ears and I fell helplessly on the floor, coughing and gasping for air.


    His terrifying presence reached me way before I could even hear the clashing sound of metal against metal, and I urgently dried my eyes, trying to see what had happened.


    Michael averted Gabriel¡¯s spear that hit one of the benches instead, rendering it into small wooden splinters and dust, and immediately disappeared, appearing on the far side of the church, his breath heavy and labored.


    ¡°What are you doing here? Shouldn¡¯t you be out there destroying your own kind?¡± Michael asked, straightening his back, recovering from Gabriel¡¯s surprise attack, and Gabriel kicked the pieces of wood at his feet, and they flew like sharp daggers towards Michael¡¯s head, forcing him to quickly slide out of the way. ¡°You have nothing to do with Mari! And that damn Contract is invalid!¡± Michael shouted and Gabriel smiled coldly, pointing his spear at Michael¡¯s chest.


    ¡°You dumb, stupid Merifri!¡± Gabriel sneered in his most cold and cruel tone. ¡°That Human evoked me and offered me her blood. Her Soul belongs to me and it¡¯s mine to do as I please. And this Contract that you so much insist in nullifying, and that you stupidly just fulfilled, is the agreement we reached and the only way she¡¯ll be able to keep her Soul. I really advise you to stop interfering, before I decide to claim what is rightfully mine. As we now stand, the only thing she owes me is a long night of hot and passionate sex!¡± he added dryly and I couldn¡¯t help feel humiliated before his cold, cruel words.


    Michael, on the other hand, was burning in anger and, with a loud roar that made the ground shake, jumped forward as two beautiful white wings sprung from his back.


    The deafening sound that filled the air when they clashed midair echoed in the high chamber, and from then on I could hardly see them, as they jumped and flew from one place to another, using the walls and ceiling the same way they used the floor, to propel themselves through the air.


    I cowered where I sat, protecting my head with my arms as pieces of wood and stone flew everywhere, almost as if I were sitting in the middle of a cataclysm.


    The sound of a barrier vibrating made me open my eyes to peer into that war zone, and I blinked in astonishment as I noticed the pile of debris piled all around me.


    ¡°Mari? Are you all right?¡± I looked at Alexander, crouching beside me, and knew that the barrier protecting me was his doing. ¡°Listen carefully!¡± he went on with a serious expression, not even waiting for my answer. ¡°Izrail is going to destroy him. He himself told me that he¡¯d do it if he had to interfere, and that¡¯s why he asked me to come here instead of him. He didn¡¯t want you to watch as he destroyed your Guardian. But now that things have reached this point, it¡¯s simply unavoidable. So, just come with me!¡±


    I blinked once again, trying to make his words sink in, and looked at the two amazing creatures fiercely fighting each other; Michael with his white wings and golden hair, Gabriel like a dark shadow with pale face.


    Foolishly enough I remembered seeing them standing side by side, at school, shaking hands, exchanging greetings and even smiles. It all felt out of place, as if right then, that church, couldn¡¯t possibly be my reality. And then it suddenly came to me, and I knew I¡¯d been in that same place many times before, the floor below me feeling much harder and cold. I¡¯d dreamt of that moment, time and time again, and my dream always ended ...


    The thunder-like sound that filled the air was much stronger than the ones before, cutting off my thoughts, and the wall behind me cracked and opened from top to bottom. With my heart beating against my chest, I saw Michael slide down over it until he hit the floor, just a few steps from where I sat, as if he¡¯d been thrown against it by some brute force. There was blood on his clothes and the sword he held on to shuddered in his hand when he tried to raise it but the strength to do it failed him.


    And then Gabriel was there too, soundlessly landing over a pile of debris as if he could float, his eyes glowing red as he raised his spear, pointing it at Michael¡¯s chest. Michael tried again, clenching his teeth, his face angry and frustrated, but his arm just wouldn¡¯t obey, and Gabriel smiled, towering over him like a predator who knew he¡¯d just cornered his prey.


    Panicking I knew that Michael would never be able to defend himself from his next attack, and I tried to stand up, wanting to reach them, wanting to stop Gabriel¡¯s hand as he pulled his spear back to stab him, but my aching legs wouldn¡¯t obey. And all I could do was close my eyes and scream when Gabriel thrust his spear forward, and my will was suddenly one again.


    Something burned my chest and warm tears slid down my face. I just couldn¡¯t lose any of them, not like this.


    I opened my eyes, not really knowing if I was dead or alive, and saw Gabriel¡¯s spear, pointing at my chest, turn into ashes, his expression of horror locked on my face. I knew that he¡¯d gotten rid of it so he wouldn¡¯t run me though with it, and I lowered my arms as relief washed over me when I realized I¡¯d been able to stop him.


    ¡°So, this is it.¡± His cold whisper startled me and yet I couldn¡¯t react in time to avoid his cold hands, as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pushed me violently against the wall. I felt dizzy again, at how fast we¡¯d moved, and my aching body protested painfully. ¡°So, you¡¯re protecting him now?¡± he went on, accusing me in that raging tone, and I looked at him stunned, trying to blink away the tears that stubbornly blurred my vision. ¡°Are you crying because of him?¡± he shouted and I cringed reflexively, as the wall on my back trembled and cracked some more.


    ¡°Izrail! Stop it!¡± I heard Alexander¡¯s angry voice, but he didn¡¯t even look at him.


    ¡°Stay out of this, Sigweardiel!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re hurting her!¡±


    ¡°I said, stay out of this!¡± he shouted again and this time even the floor cracked opened, swallowing pieces of wood, as if we were in the middle of an earthquake. ¡°So? Is he your choice?¡± he asked me in a tone that would never admit denial and I trembled before his immeasurable presence.


    My desperate will reached for the power of the Circle around my neck and his thoughts reached me like agonizing whispers that made me cry.


    ¡°Why ... are you lying?¡± I mumbled in my hoarse voice and raised a hand to touch his cold, pale face. ¡°Why all these questions when you know all the answers?¡±


    He held my face between his hard fingers and leaned over me, the scent of his skin leaving a bitter taste in my mouth as his thoughts told me exactly what would follow.


    ¡°It was him you protected. For him, you placed your life in danger. Because it¡¯s him you chose,¡± he whispered cruelly in my ear, as if his words were a Magic Spell meant to mold my mind to his will, and I sobbed before his insistence.


    ¡°And yet you¡¯ve already decided ... to leave me because it¡¯s the best for me, because now I have my Guardian Angel to look over me and I don¡¯t need you anymore,¡± I echoed his own thoughts and he pulled the chain from my neck, stealing his thoughts from me.


    ¡°That¡¯s what your mind tells you,¡± he declared and looked down at Michael with scorn. ¡°If you want to belong to him, feel free to do so! As he said, I declare our Contract invalid,¡± he announced in a cold, unfeeling voice and, although I wanted to scream, and argue, and beg, all I could do was sob. He looked back at me and his cold fingers gently caressed my face, insensible to the burns that my tears left on his skin. ¡°In return, I¡¯ll claim what is rightfully mine and, once your life is over, I¡¯ll come back to take your Soul,¡± he told me and, with a fast move, held my chin, making me raise my head, and all I could see was the dark, cracked ceiling.


    His lips touched my chest in a cold kiss that pierced me like a blazing dagger. And, even so, I raised a trembling hand to caress his dark hair, loving, for the last time, the pain he gave me.


    ¡°Goodbye ... Mariane ¡­¡±


    His cold voice echoed in my ears and I fell. I didn¡¯t feel the impact against the hard floor, but the cold stone seemed to invite me to sleep. The damage done to my being was just too deep, too vast to even consider trying to fix it. Contrary to what had happened before, I didn¡¯t fight the cold chains that dragged me down, towards the deep darkness, and I plunged into it by my own free will; wishing I could sink as fast as possible and simply forget ...


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>


    It took me sometime until I was able to move. My freezing body wouldn¡¯t stop shaking and I was sure that moving would be very painful. Even so I got up, wincing and swallowing my cries of pain, and took off my wet sweater that fell heavily on the floor. My skin was even colder than Gabriel¡¯s, the drops of water falling from my wet hair and sliding down my back an absolute torture.


    The sound of something heavy falling on the floor startled me, leaving me immediately alert as my gaze flew to the half-closed door. For a moment I could hardly breathe, but then the sound of footsteps on the stairs made me sigh in relief, until it dawned on me! Unless he was running, Lea was like Gabriel, his footsteps were completely silent. And, as hard as I tried, I couldn¡¯t hear the tinkling sound of his bell. My heart jumped in panic, and I took a step back, trying to think about what to do; if I could possibly survive if I jumped out the window, since I really didn¡¯t have anywhere else to hide.


    I held my breath when the steps stopped right outside my door and my hand flew to the pair of scissors stuck in one of the metal cups on my desk. If my unwanted guest was a Human, a question by now all too common for me, I¡¯d stick the damn scissors straight through his eye. As I was, in that moment, after all I¡¯d been through, no Human could ever scare me!


    The door opened slowly, as I readied myself for my bloody attack and then, everything was blank, and I couldn¡¯t help stare at him in complete disbelief.


    ¡°Michael?¡± I muttered, blinking, wondering if I¡¯d somehow fallen asleep without noticing it.


    Michael also seemed taken aback, as if he hadn¡¯t expect to see me there, even though we were in my room. His dripping wet blond hair fell around his face, the black leather jacket he wore and his motorcycle boots leaving a small pool on the floor where he stood. And then, he suddenly seemed to wake up, and he strode into my room, going straight to my wardrobe.


    ¡°Put this on!¡± he told me dryly, throwing a flannel shirt at me that I almost couldn¡¯t catch. And I was suddenly very much aware that I¡¯d been standing there, staring at him in disbelief, wearing only my bra.


    I obeyed, awkwardly, turning my back on him to button up my shirt but, before I could even finish, his hand was already around my wrist, and he was dragging me out of the door.


    ¡°Hey! Michael! Wait!!¡± I complained, stumbling as my aching legs failed, but he ignored me and pulled me down the stairs.


    I stumbled again, and would have fallen if he hadn¡¯t pulled me up as if I were a child learning how to walk, the iron strength of his fingers around my wrist hurting me by the time we got to the ground floor.


    ¡°Stop!!¡± I commanded, angry at his silent arrogance, and tried to free my hand. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked, my voice cracking, but the look he gave me silenced my protests at once.


    His green eyes were glowing as if they were precious stones touched by the sun and something in him was suddenly very frightening.


    ¡°Don¡¯t argue with me, Mariane! And do as I tell you!¡± he simply replied and, although he hadn¡¯t raised his tone and almost sounded calm, his voice echoed inside me, giving me the creeps. I couldn¡¯t resist him when he pulled me again, helplessly stumbling forward, but as we passed by the living room door I saw a body lying on the floor that made my heart jump in agony.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called desperately but Michael didn¡¯t slow down, forcing me to keep up with him. ¡°No! Let go of me! Let go!¡± I demanded, now roaring as I fought his hand with all my strength, and he turned, wrapping a hand around my waist and easily scooping me from the ground,


    I screamed, and hit him, and kicked him, and screamed again until my already hoarse throat almost couldn¡¯t scream anymore, but nothing made him free me, or stop dragging me outside where the rain mercilessly drenched us again.


    I wanted to cry but had no tears. I wanted to get free from his hold but didn¡¯t have enough strength. My wishes all echoed empty inside of me. Because my Soul felt nothing for Lea, she didn¡¯t care one little bit about what Michael might want with me, nothing would be able to move her except for Gabriel, and Gabriel wasn¡¯t there.


    Michael dropped me on the seat of his bike, holding me firmly, bearing indifferently my constant kicks and punches. But no matter how hard he held me there was no way I was just going to quietly sit there, and there was no way he could start that bike with me thrashing around like that. He sighed deeply and wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling me back against his chest, squeezing just enough to stop me from breathing.


    ¡°Sit still, or I swear I¡¯ll put you to sleep,¡± he threatened in a whisper as cold as the rain and the shock that washed over me at that warning left me stunned for a second, time enough for him to send his bike roaring down the street.


    I could hardly breathe at the speed he was going, the ice cold rain feeling like stones thrown against me, making me raise my arms to protect my face, and I was sure he was going to kill us both, the wheels of his motorbike squealing against the wet pavement. The curves left me sick to my stomach, making me feel dizzy again, and I would have fallen from the seat more than once, if not for the arm wrapped around my waist, holding me in place against his warm body.


    When he finally stopped, the first thing I did was bend to the side and throw up, but there was nothing in my stomach. His hand grabbed me again, dragging me mercilessly, and I fell on my knees, breathing heavily, my ice cold hair sticking to my face, making me feel really sick. Still he pulled me up again, forcing me to walk even though every muscle in my body hurt. I know I stumbled up some stairs and finally his hand let go of me, and I fell on a hard ground as cold as the rain that had wet me, but finally a blessed motionless surface. The slamming of a heavy door filled the air, startling me, and his footsteps walked by me, making me feel relieved that he was walking away.


    I fought to quickly sort out my thoughts, feeling too confused and tired, pain muddling my brain. I noticed that it wasn¡¯t raining anymore, although it was so cold that I couldn¡¯t stop shivering. With a stab of pain I remembered Lea¡¯s body lying on the floor by the living room door and clenched my hands, looking for strength to raise my head.


    I saw him standing a few steps away, his back turned to me as he faced an altar illuminated by a heavy chandelier. I felt lost and looked around me, and noticed that we were in a church, obviously empty at that time of night.


    Taking a deep breath, I held on to one of the wooden benches, and forced my shaky legs to obey me and support my weight as they should. The world around me spun dangerously as I stood up, and I held on to the bench until the dizziness subsided.


    ¡°Michael!¡± I called out to him once I regained my composure, and my hoarse voice echoed eerily.


    I saw him shudder, before he turned back to me, and facing his pained and guilty expression broke my anger and determination.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Mari. Everything¡¯s going to be all right,¡± he said, coming towards me, and the memory of the unbreakable prison that were his arms made me take a step back. He stopped, giving up on the idea of coming any closer, and his pained expression became even bitterer. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I hurt you.¡±


    ¡°Why did you bring me here?¡± I demanded and only then noticed that it wasn¡¯t the first time we were in that place.


    He seemed to hear my thoughts and smiled lightly as he looked around.


    ¡°Remember when we first came here?¡± I didn¡¯t answer and he took a deep, melancholic breath. ¡°You told me you were looking for an angel because yours had fallen asleep, and you thought I could never fulfill that task.¡± I trembled when he looked at me with that same intensity from before. ¡°I brought you here to protect you!¡± he declared and his voice echoed like a thunder all around us.


    ¡°Protect?¡± I repeated, not knowing if I should feel confused or frightened. ¡°Protect me from what?¡± I asked in a whisper, trying to call him back to reason, but apparently my words only fired his anger even more.


    ¡°Protect you from what! Protect you from what?!¡± he shouted, his voice a threatening crescendo, and he was on me before I could even think of escaping, and I stumbled and almost fell back, but he held me by my arm.


    He pulled me against his warm body and I screamed in panic, pushing him away with all my strength, unable to get free again. He grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled it hard, breaking the sewing threads that kept the buttons in place, and pulled it down my arm, undressing me roughly. I cringed instinctively and he grabbed me again, shaking me, making me dizzy and nauseated.


    ¡°You¡¯re still asking what? Look at this! Look!¡± he ordered, his voice like a thunder again, and I obeyed, trembling. My eyes fell upon the dark marks left on my skin, the bruises I had ignored as if they¡¯d never existed, the same that Gabriel¡¯s cold hands had given me. ¡°On your arms. On your chest. On your back. Where else did he touch you?¡±


    The shock lit a smoldering anger inside me.


    ¡°Let go of me!¡± I demanded dryly and he seemed perplexed by my sudden apparent firmness.


    ¡°Mariane! He¡¯ll end up destroying you!¡± he insisted, resisting through all my attempts to get free, and I faced him severely. ¡°Can¡¯t you see? I only want what¡¯s best for you. I only want to protect you. And although I understand that, up till now, you had to deal with all this on your own, you no longer need to. You no longer need to stay with him!¡±


    ¡°Michael!¡± I shouted, hurting my sore throat. I couldn¡¯t even hear those words. What did he know of what I needed? My anger turned against him again and I fought to get free from his unyielding hands. ¡°Let go!¡± I shouted and a thunder crackled all around us, as if ricocheting on the walls, making the ground under my feet shake.


    Cold wind broke my anger and I only noticed that there wasn¡¯t anything holding me anymore when I stumbled forward. I held on to the bench once more, to stop myself from falling, and made sure I was still breathing before I raised my head.


    Alexander was standing right in front of me, his presence so cold and fierce that it made me shudder. But he wasn¡¯t the only one. And, as I looked back, I saw Gabriel leaning against the now wide opened, tall wooden door, his arms folded over his chest, like an authentic inanimate block of ice.


    Jonathan stepped forward with hesitant steps, dripping water all over the place, and stopped beside me. However, he didn¡¯t even look at me, his anxious gaze locked on Alexander¡¯s straight back, his tension leaving me apprehensive.


    The sound of laughter filled the air around us, startling me. And only then I noticed that Michael was lying on the floor at the base of the altar, as if he¡¯d been thrown across the air by an invisible force, to somewhere far away from me. I was immediately worried that he might be hurt, and then noticed he was the one laughing, and, in complete disbelief, saw him stand up effortlessly.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    His green eyes glowed coldly, as if burning in a green cold fire, and I inhaled sharply, since I had never imagined his gentle face could be able of an expression like that, my heart beating too fast, making my chest hurt.


    ¡°How dare you come in here?¡± I heard his voice, clear and strong, the implicit threat dripping out of his every single word, and I knew immediately he wasn¡¯t talking to me anymore.


    ¡°Because it would seem you have a serious hearing problem. It¡¯s the second time she tells you to let go and that you¡¯re not quite able to listen,¡± Alexander replied in that same restrained tone, but contempt was thick in his voice.


    ¡°This matter does not concern you!¡± Michael stated severely and I felt Jonathan¡¯s anxiety grow by the minute, contaminating me.


    ¡°That it¡¯s not for the likes of you to decide,¡± Alexander replied and Michael smiled, but that same expression that had always brought me comfort and warmth could only make me shiver, leaving me certain that he could not be real, that he could not be the Michael I knew.


    ¡°Oh, really? Who should decide then?¡± he asked ironically and his voice lowered to a deeper menacing tone. ¡°You¡¯re interfering in something that it¡¯s none of your business! Because you¡¯re nothing but a dog at the beck and call of that thing, over there!¡± My heart almost stopped knowing he was referring to Gabriel. I waited in fear for his fury, or to simply watch as he appeared at Michael¡¯s side and shredded him to pieces, right there and then.


    Alexander seemed to share my thoughts and his bright sword appeared out of thin air in his right hand.


    ¡°You think what you like! That thing over there won¡¯t have to lift a single finger to put you out of your misery!¡± he growled in a dark threat, and Michael laughed again, insanely, as I begged in my thoughts that he would just run away while he could!


    ¡°And what can a fallen one like you do against me?¡± Michael demanded and everything inside me fell into a deep silence. ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a traitor!¡±


    ¡°You may even be right. But at least I didn¡¯t abandon anyone!¡± Alexander replied with pure loathing and Michael smiled coldly again.


    ¡°No, you dragged him down with you. And what is he now? Nothing but an aberration, just like you! What was the use of breaking the Law? A broken thing will never be able to save anyone!¡± he declared and Alexander¡¯s rage was so intense that it left me breathless.


    Black feathers scattered all over the place and then he wasn¡¯t standing there anymore. A thunderous sound echoed throughout the entire church, and my eyes anxiously flew all over the place, looking for him. I stopped breathing when I saw Alexander leaning over Michael, his face a furious mask. And it took me some time to understand that Michael had been able to stop his attack, that he was smiling coldly, and that he was holding a sword much like Alexander¡¯s.


    Alexander swiftly jumped back, his legs flexing as if he were an animal, his head bending low as he faced his enemy, and Michael stood up, holding his sword that looked almost made of light, readying himself for the next attack.


    I was unable to move as I watched Alexander¡¯s face slowly change, becoming progressively less like him, taking on the expression of the emotions commanding his actions. And I recalled what he¡¯d told me about constantly fighting against certain parts of him, stopping them from emerging, so that he could remain who he was. My chest hurt as I realized that Michael had been wrong, that he wasn¡¯t a fallen one, but that he was still falling, losing himself piece by piece every time he allowed his dark emotions to take over him, like what was happening right now. And I wished I could stop him, I wished I could run to hold him back, but my shaky legs just wouldn¡¯t move and my throat was too dry to emit any sound. Alexander raised his bright sword that looked like a shadow when compared to Michael¡¯s, and Michael smiled at him in a cold challenge, as if he were unable to fear him.


    ¡°Sigweardiel!¡± The young, clear voice that filled the air with that shout was like a blast of cold wind over a scorching desert, and everything was suddenly very quiet and silent, so much so that, for the first time, I could hear the rain falling outside.


    Alexander slowly straightened his back and lowered his sword as if he¡¯d received an irresistible command, and Jonathan stepped forward, his head raised high, passing by me and then by Alexander without even acknowledging neither of our presences.


    Michael was also looking at him, his burning green eyes intimidating, although he seemed intrigued by the boy¡¯s sudden interference. And Jonathan stopped just a few steps from him, facing him with absolute and unwavering determination.


    ¡°Sigweardiel is my Guardian!¡± he declared with such vehemence that Alexander shuddered. ¡°I will not allow you to destroy him!¡±


    ¡°He is no Guardian,¡± Michael replied in a warmer, condescending tone, more like the Michael I knew, almost as if he felt sorry for the delusional boy looking up at him. ¡°And you are not a Human Being. Or do you believe you are?¡±


    Jonathan closed his hands into two tight fists, and I regretfully recalled how that was a painful subject for him. Even so he kept his head high, still facing him, and he was suddenly not a boy at all, certainly not frail or vulnerable.


    ¡°I may not know what I am, but I know all too well what I¡¯m not!¡± he admitted. ¡°However, my Soul is still a Gaalgha¡¯s Soul! And, as a Gaalgha, I will not allow you to destroy him!¡± He practically threatened Michael, who slightly tilted his head to a side, as if reflecting on the boy¡¯s words.


    ¡°With that curse on you, you¡¯ll never be able to use your Soul¡¯s power, even if you could make your feelings one, which I seriously doubt,¡± Michael concluded.


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong about that,¡± Jonathan replied, apparently indifferent to what he¡¯d said, when I knew all too well how those words had hurt him. ¡°I may not survive, and I¡¯ll probably shatter into pieces, but I guarantee you that I¡¯ll be able to use it. And you! You¡¯ll have destroyed a Gaalgha.¡±


    Alexander took a step forward, his face a mask of pure terror. ¡°Jonathan, please,¡± he mumbled pleadingly, but seemed unable to dissuade him.


    I wrapped my arms around me and dug my nails into my own skin. I was the only one to blame for all this mess, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to either one of them. In any case I just couldn¡¯t keep running away, pretending not to see the truth, allowing my usual escape pattern to cost me the life of someone I cared for.


    ¡°Enough,¡± I said in my almost inaudible voice, but still they all turned back to look at me. I took a deep breath, reinforcing my decision, and raised my head, ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± I repeated and looked for the courage to speak my next words. ¡°I need a moment with ... Michael ... alone, please,¡± I declared and, even without seeing it, I felt as Gabriel moved for the first time since they¡¯d arrived and left, leaving me completely frozen inside.


    Alexander seemed to notice it as well and immediately appeared by Jonathan¡¯s side, leaving a rain of black feathers on his trail, and gently pulled him back, making him move, even though Jonathan kept glaring up at Michael with that dark threat in his eyes.


    ¡°Mari, are you sure..?¡± Alexander asked me as he stopped by my side and I looked up at him, making sure I was smiling when I did. He was worried for me, I could tell, but, above all he was relieved. His arm was wrapped protectively across Jonathan¡¯s chest, his face back to his normal self, and seeing that was enough to make me absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing.


    ¡°Yes, thank you, and I¡¯m sorry,¡± I added towards Jonathan and he finally looked away from Michael, looking like a fourteen-year-old boy again, almost embarrassed even.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be close by,¡± Alexander said and I nodded.


    Watching them go was even harder then I¡¯d expected and I suddenly felt very much alone and abandoned.


    Michael was still looking at me, his expression now bitter and hurt, again the Michael I knew, although his eyes kept glowing, and his blond hair looked like it was made of gold, shining under the light of the chandelier. He averted his gaze with what looked like regret, and seemed to struggle to find the right words.


    ¡°Mari ¡­¡±


    ¡°Tell me!¡± I interrupted him, my voice rough and harsh, and he raised his head unable to understand me. ¡°I want to hear it in your own words! From your mouth. In your voice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m ... sorry,¡± he said. I shook my head in stubborn refusal and squeezed the shirt he¡¯d rendered useless.


    ¡°The truth!¡±


    ¡°Mari ...¡±


    ¡°The truth, Michael!¡± I demanded, raising my voice, hurting my throat, and for an instant that hoarse sound filled the church.


    Michael was silent for a long time, but then a sigh left his lips and, with it, his sword disappeared in a cloud of incandescent sparks that were gone even before they could reach the floor.


    ¡°The truth ¡­¡± he repeated with a sorrowful tone and I waited for him to go on. ¡°The truth is my name is ¡­ Aldaraian.¡± He hesitated, looking for a reaction, but I remained completely still. ¡°Which, in the ancient tongue means Will of God. I am a Merifri, an angel, as you Humans call us.¡± Hearing those words in his warm voice hurt much more than the rough way he¡¯d treated me just moments ago. ¡°Better yet, I¡¯m an Iaidon, a Guardian. And, in this present time, I¡¯m the Iaidon in charge of protecting the Gaalgha known, in the Human world, as ¡­ Mariane Mellis.¡±


    My name sounded all wrong in his voice, hurting me, and even though I wished I could feel anger towards him or even disgust, the only thing I could feel was that deep, sharp pain that stole my breath away. Images of him filled my mind, of his bright smile, of his warm gaze, of the moments we¡¯d spent together when I¡¯d thought he was only ... Michael. All false ... all lies ... all empty.


    ¡°You ... left me,¡± were the only words that escaped my lips and then he was there, right in front of me, startling me.


    ¡°Hush,¡± he whispered, trying to appease me, and I looked up at him, at his unnatural beauty, at how even his skin seemed to glow. ¡°I had no other choice.¡± His pained voice made me look straight into his absurdly clear eyes.


    ¡°And you erased my memories ... of you?¡±


    ¡°I had to. You¡¯d have been in pain if I had simply disappeared,¡± he clarified, but his words didn¡¯t make any sense to me. ¡°And I had to make sure you would move to a different town, too, or I would have had to manipulate the memories of everyone around you, everyone that knew you,¡± he added, softly.


    ¡°Move?¡± I repeated, still dumbfounded, still trying to make sense of all that had happened, and he nodded. ¡°The divorce? My father¡¯s offer to go to the U.S.A.?¡± I asked, now in complete disbelief, and he nodded again. A sarcastic smile took over my lips. ¡°This is ... ridiculous,¡± I mumbled almost to myself, feeling like a rag doll in the hands of stupidly strong and powerful beings. ¡°You took my father from me, he took my mother ... Jonathan was right. You¡¯re all the same!¡± I declared, resenting him deeply, and Michael frowned, that threatening expression returning to his face.


    ¡°Do not compare me to that thing!¡± he commanded rudely, but I faced him with my coldest expression.


    ¡°No? At least my mom came back to spend the holidays with me. And I¡¯ll see her again soon. I haven¡¯t seen my father at all for the last two years!¡± I accused him dryly and smiled again, the irony choking me. ¡°I should hate you!¡± I declared and he seemed shocked by my words. ¡°All this time, right beside me.¡±


    ¡°No! I swear! I swear that I didn¡¯t know!¡± He hurriedly cut me off, and then looked slightly embarrassed. ¡°Only today when I saw you on that park ... and you suddenly disappeared amongst all that light. It was as if my mind had been kept in the dark and suddenly someone had flicked the switch on, and there was light again! You have to understand, Mari!¡± He held me by my shoulders and I couldn¡¯t help recoil from his touch. ¡°I never wished for any of this to happen. I never even intended to let my presence be known to you. But your Soul was always too bright, and no matter how many barriers I placed around you, that inferior scum would always find you!¡± He spit out the words with hatred. ¡°And, of course, I¡¯d always protect you! But, for more than once, you knew that something was wrong, that you were somehow in danger, and you were so small. You started having nightmares, and you were always afraid, even to go to school. You would wake up at night, screaming in terror, and even your parents didn¡¯t know what else to do. I feared your mind might break down under the pressure and so I thought that if you knew ¡­ if you knew that I was there, always by your side, always protecting you, that you wouldn¡¯t feel so scared. And I was right.


    ¡°You suddenly stopped being afraid to go to school, and there were no more nightmares. And when you had a bad dream I would hold you in my arms and you would quickly go back to sleep. Everything was better. Your parents too, seemed a lot happier, less stressed, and I became a part of your life. Unavoidably, I loved you since the moment you were born, but loving a Gaalgha was no news to me. Even when I noticed my feelings slowly changing as you grew up, or when I became aware that your Soul didn¡¯t attract only inferior Deiwos, but irresistibly attracted my Soul as well. Even then I never felt, not even once, that I wouldn¡¯t be able to fulfill my mission.¡±


    I found myself unable to move, as if he¡¯d cast some kind of Magic Spell to keep me in that place, and the suffering that transfigured his face left me hanging.


    ¡°I told myself that the proximity between us was normal, since we knew each other since you were a child,¡± he continued, ¡°And I refused to see that I was the only one you really talked to, that it was to me you came running every time you had some news to share, that it was in me you confided your secrets. I allowed all boundaries to be crossed, one by one, under the excuse that I was your Guardian. I let you get close to me, get attached to me, because it made me feel good. I knew that I was the only one to blame for your absent social life, for your almost complete lack of friends, and that that was wrong. Because you came into this world to live a Human life. But still I allowed this to be, happy with the knowledge that I was special to you, that no one could take my place.¡±


    I felt his warm hand caress my face and my body responded the same way it had always responded, when he was still just Michael and I a silly girl in love with the school¡¯s idol.


    ¡°Recklessly, I wished you could love me, and you did love me, and from that instant on everything was lost. I could no longer resist your warm embrace ... or your touch ... or your defiant smile ... Because while you were allowed to do all these things, for me there was a clear line I could not cross. And I was afraid, because if I did cross it I¡¯d have to leave you forever, to leave you alone to fend for yourself. At that point, the only thing that mattered was that I could remain by your side.


    ¡°And so I decided to erase my existence from your mind, and then erase my own memories so that I wouldn¡¯t be tempted to get close to you again. Your parents had been discussing the divorce for quite some time then, and I took that chance to make sure you¡¯d move somewhere else, somewhere where you could start a new life. And then I made sure that, even while I slept, I could be close to you, so that I could protect you if you needed. I was too na?ve,¡± he added with a sorrowful tone and his warm hand ran across my wet hair, gently straightening it around my face. ¡°The barrier I placed around you was meant to wake me up the instant you were in danger, and it did work, twice. I woke up, defeated that inferior scum and, once my task was done, went back to sleep. But I only placed that one clause on it, to defend you from attacks coming from the outside. It never occurred to me that you¡¯d be the one to break it, from the inside out, that you¡¯d be the one to call one of them to you. And once the barrier was destroyed its effect became null, and I didn¡¯t wake up again.¡±


    The absence of his voice seemed to break the spell that kept me motionless and I took a step back to avoid his touch.


    I felt tired and confused, and clearly unable to process not even half of what he¡¯d just told me. In my mind I could only see the Michael I knew; remember the pain in his voice when he¡¯d told me about how he¡¯d lost his memory, how no one had come forth to claim him. His bitter expression when he¡¯d insisted he¡¯d done something really wrong and how he wished his life could remain the way it was. And I was suddenly aware that all that was gone ... for me as much as for him. I couldn¡¯t help thinking just how ridiculous all my inner battles had been, and I recalled what Alexander had told me about the irresistible attraction between Guardians and Gaalgha. And finally I heard Gabriel¡¯s velvet voice, his warm breath caressing my skin, as he told me that there were still things that I didn¡¯t know. ¡¯And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡¯


    I ran a cold, shaky hand over my face and took a deep breath, annoyed at the headache that insistently drummed in my head making it even harder to think clearly.


    ¡°Michael, I need time. I need to think about all this ... and right now, I¡¯m too tired,¡± I confessed, suddenly not wanting anything else but my bed, but he gave a step towards me, grabbing my shoulders again, his expression almost exasperated, as if I¡¯d completely failed to understand what he¡¯d meant.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you I love you! That I¡¯ve loved you since the day you were born!¡± he told me in one breath and his words exploded in my head.


    ¡°Stop! I don¡¯t want to hear that!¡± I shouted over his voice, fighting to get free from him again, but he didn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t you want the truth?¡±


    ¡°Everything but that! Let go of me!¡±


    He held my right arm roughly, pulling the velvet ribbon that I kept around my wrist, and the ribbon broke, hurting my skin.


    ¡°Why? Because of this? Because of this damn Contract?¡± he shouted and I was suddenly quiet as I noticed that the small mark was still there, the relief that washed over me robing my legs of their strength, making me tremble. ¡°You have nothing to fear, Mari. It¡¯s all right. I know you did it for me,¡± he told me, his voice soft again, even though his hand kept squeezing my arm. ¡°But you know ¡­ this, none of this is valid. Because he could never promise to give you something that was already yours to begin with. All this time, he has been deceiving you!¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I practically growled, pulling my hand free from his grip and held my wrist against my chest, protectively. ¡°You¡¯re lying!¡±


    Michael put a sorrowful expression on his face. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, but it will be all right. You won¡¯t have to see him ever again. And since that Contract is invalid, I can easily erase that horrible mark from your skin, and you¡¯ll be able to go back to your everyday life.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I shouted again, and stepped back, as the world spun around me, dark walls closing down on me, making it hard to breathe. ¡°No! I don¡¯t want to! I don¡¯t want to live without him!¡±


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His severe tone startled me, filling the air around us with that thundering sound, and still I raised my head to face him, to defend what little happiness I¡¯d found.


    ¡°I am not the same anymore! I am not your Mariane anymore!¡±


    ¡°You are Gaalgha!!¡± he roared in his thunder-like voice and his skin glowed even more, his face a furious mask. ¡°And Gaalgha have no business near despicable creatures like Deiwos!¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything to me! And this Contract ... this Contract too, even if it is invalid, I don¡¯t care! I want to stay with him!¡± I declared without a shadow of a doubt, and the thunder that roared all around us made me dizzy.


    The pain of being thrown against something hard and cold sent needles throughout my entire body and I had to gasp for air. His warm hand surrounded my neck, immobilizing me like before, making me stand on the tips of my toes so I wouldn¡¯t choke, and his face leaned over mine with a sorrowful expression of regret.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I cannot allow that,¡± he whispered softly, his warm breath caressing my lips, and I uselessly clawed at his hand, fighting for every breath. ¡°I promise I won¡¯t hurt you. I¡¯ll just erase all your memories again and take you somewhere far, where you¡¯ll be able to start anew, and where you¡¯ll live the Human life you were born to experience.¡±


    Despair washed over me and warm tears slid down my face, tears that could never hurt him and that thus were easily ignored.


    He placed his other hand on my forehead, and I clawed and scratched his face when his lips touched mine, stealing the little air I¡¯d been able to manage.


    My wrist burned painfully and I sobbed, feeling as if I was being torn into pieces. Everything in me was pain, and anguish, and despair, and another voice, equally torn, rose inside me.


    You cannot lose him! Call him to you! she commanded, but I didn¡¯t know how to call him if I couldn¡¯t even speak.


    And then I could see it, as clear as day, the page from where I¡¯d read the Magic Spell that had released him and, in reality, there was only one word, one word that really mattered, and I wondered how I¡¯d never seen it before.


    ¡¯Ishanyx!!¡¯


    It was as if a bomb had exploded right next to my ears and I fell helplessly on the floor, coughing and gasping for air.


    His terrifying presence reached me way before I could even hear the clashing sound of metal against metal, and I urgently dried my eyes, trying to see what had happened.


    Michael averted Gabriel¡¯s spear that hit one of the benches instead, rendering it into small wooden splinters and dust, and immediately disappeared, appearing on the far side of the church, his breath heavy and labored.


    ¡°What are you doing here? Shouldn¡¯t you be out there destroying your own kind?¡± Michael asked, straightening his back, recovering from Gabriel¡¯s surprise attack, and Gabriel kicked the pieces of wood at his feet, and they flew like sharp daggers towards Michael¡¯s head, forcing him to quickly slide out of the way. ¡°You have nothing to do with Mari! And that damn Contract is invalid!¡± Michael shouted and Gabriel smiled coldly, pointing his spear at Michael¡¯s chest.


    ¡°You dumb, stupid Merifri!¡± Gabriel sneered in his most cold and cruel tone. ¡°That Human evoked me and offered me her blood. Her Soul belongs to me and it¡¯s mine to do as I please. And this Contract that you so much insist in nullifying, and that you stupidly just fulfilled, is the agreement we reached and the only way she¡¯ll be able to keep her Soul. I really advise you to stop interfering, before I decide to claim what is rightfully mine. As we now stand, the only thing she owes me is a long night of hot and passionate sex!¡± he added dryly and I couldn¡¯t help feel humiliated before his cold, cruel words.


    Michael, on the other hand, was burning in anger and, with a loud roar that made the ground shake, jumped forward as two beautiful white wings sprung from his back.


    The deafening sound that filled the air when they clashed midair echoed in the high chamber, and from then on I could hardly see them, as they jumped and flew from one place to another, using the walls and ceiling the same way they used the floor, to propel themselves through the air.


    I cowered where I sat, protecting my head with my arms as pieces of wood and stone flew everywhere, almost as if I were sitting in the middle of a cataclysm.


    The sound of a barrier vibrating made me open my eyes to peer into that war zone, and I blinked in astonishment as I noticed the pile of debris piled all around me.


    ¡°Mari? Are you all right?¡± I looked at Alexander, crouching beside me, and knew that the barrier protecting me was his doing. ¡°Listen carefully!¡± he went on with a serious expression, not even waiting for my answer. ¡°Izrail is going to destroy him. He himself told me that he¡¯d do it if he had to interfere, and that¡¯s why he asked me to come here instead of him. He didn¡¯t want you to watch as he destroyed your Guardian. But now that things have reached this point, it¡¯s simply unavoidable. So, just come with me!¡±


    I blinked once again, trying to make his words sink in, and looked at the two amazing creatures fiercely fighting each other; Michael with his white wings and golden hair, Gabriel like a dark shadow with pale face.


    Foolishly enough I remembered seeing them standing side by side, at school, shaking hands, exchanging greetings and even smiles. It all felt out of place, as if right then, that church, couldn¡¯t possibly be my reality. And then it suddenly came to me, and I knew I¡¯d been in that same place many times before, the floor below me feeling much harder and cold. I¡¯d dreamt of that moment, time and time again, and my dream always ended ...


    The thunder-like sound that filled the air was much stronger than the ones before, cutting off my thoughts, and the wall behind me cracked and opened from top to bottom. With my heart beating against my chest, I saw Michael slide down over it until he hit the floor, just a few steps from where I sat, as if he¡¯d been thrown against it by some brute force. There was blood on his clothes and the sword he held on to shuddered in his hand when he tried to raise it but the strength to do it failed him.


    And then Gabriel was there too, soundlessly landing over a pile of debris as if he could float, his eyes glowing red as he raised his spear, pointing it at Michael¡¯s chest. Michael tried again, clenching his teeth, his face angry and frustrated, but his arm just wouldn¡¯t obey, and Gabriel smiled, towering over him like a predator who knew he¡¯d just cornered his prey.


    Panicking I knew that Michael would never be able to defend himself from his next attack, and I tried to stand up, wanting to reach them, wanting to stop Gabriel¡¯s hand as he pulled his spear back to stab him, but my aching legs wouldn¡¯t obey. And all I could do was close my eyes and scream when Gabriel thrust his spear forward, and my will was suddenly one again.


    Something burned my chest and warm tears slid down my face. I just couldn¡¯t lose any of them, not like this.


    I opened my eyes, not really knowing if I was dead or alive, and saw Gabriel¡¯s spear, pointing at my chest, turn into ashes, his expression of horror locked on my face. I knew that he¡¯d gotten rid of it so he wouldn¡¯t run me though with it, and I lowered my arms as relief washed over me when I realized I¡¯d been able to stop him.


    ¡°So, this is it.¡± His cold whisper startled me and yet I couldn¡¯t react in time to avoid his cold hands, as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pushed me violently against the wall. I felt dizzy again, at how fast we¡¯d moved, and my aching body protested painfully. ¡°So, you¡¯re protecting him now?¡± he went on, accusing me in that raging tone, and I looked at him stunned, trying to blink away the tears that stubbornly blurred my vision. ¡°Are you crying because of him?¡± he shouted and I cringed reflexively, as the wall on my back trembled and cracked some more.


    ¡°Izrail! Stop it!¡± I heard Alexander¡¯s angry voice, but he didn¡¯t even look at him.


    ¡°Stay out of this, Sigweardiel!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re hurting her!¡±


    ¡°I said, stay out of this!¡± he shouted again and this time even the floor cracked opened, swallowing pieces of wood, as if we were in the middle of an earthquake. ¡°So? Is he your choice?¡± he asked me in a tone that would never admit denial and I trembled before his immeasurable presence.


    My desperate will reached for the power of the Circle around my neck and his thoughts reached me like agonizing whispers that made me cry.


    ¡°Why ... are you lying?¡± I mumbled in my hoarse voice and raised a hand to touch his cold, pale face. ¡°Why all these questions when you know all the answers?¡±


    He held my face between his hard fingers and leaned over me, the scent of his skin leaving a bitter taste in my mouth as his thoughts told me exactly what would follow.


    ¡°It was him you protected. For him, you placed your life in danger. Because it¡¯s him you chose,¡± he whispered cruelly in my ear, as if his words were a Magic Spell meant to mold my mind to his will, and I sobbed before his insistence.


    ¡°And yet you¡¯ve already decided ... to leave me because it¡¯s the best for me, because now I have my Guardian Angel to look over me and I don¡¯t need you anymore,¡± I echoed his own thoughts and he pulled the chain from my neck, stealing his thoughts from me.


    ¡°That¡¯s what your mind tells you,¡± he declared and looked down at Michael with scorn. ¡°If you want to belong to him, feel free to do so! As he said, I declare our Contract invalid,¡± he announced in a cold, unfeeling voice and, although I wanted to scream, and argue, and beg, all I could do was sob. He looked back at me and his cold fingers gently caressed my face, insensible to the burns that my tears left on his skin. ¡°In return, I¡¯ll claim what is rightfully mine and, once your life is over, I¡¯ll come back to take your Soul,¡± he told me and, with a fast move, held my chin, making me raise my head, and all I could see was the dark, cracked ceiling.


    His lips touched my chest in a cold kiss that pierced me like a blazing dagger. And, even so, I raised a trembling hand to caress his dark hair, loving, for the last time, the pain he gave me.


    ¡°Goodbye ... Mariane ¡­¡±


    His cold voice echoed in my ears and I fell. I didn¡¯t feel the impact against the hard floor, but the cold stone seemed to invite me to sleep. The damage done to my being was just too deep, too vast to even consider trying to fix it. Contrary to what had happened before, I didn¡¯t fight the cold chains that dragged me down, towards the deep darkness, and I plunged into it by my own free will; wishing I could sink as fast as possible and simply forget ...


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>


    It took me sometime until I was able to move. My freezing body wouldn¡¯t stop shaking and I was sure that moving would be very painful. Even so I got up, wincing and swallowing my cries of pain, and took off my wet sweater that fell heavily on the floor. My skin was even colder than Gabriel¡¯s, the drops of water falling from my wet hair and sliding down my back an absolute torture.


    The sound of something heavy falling on the floor startled me, leaving me immediately alert as my gaze flew to the half-closed door. For a moment I could hardly breathe, but then the sound of footsteps on the stairs made me sigh in relief, until it dawned on me! Unless he was running, Lea was like Gabriel, his footsteps were completely silent. And, as hard as I tried, I couldn¡¯t hear the tinkling sound of his bell. My heart jumped in panic, and I took a step back, trying to think about what to do; if I could possibly survive if I jumped out the window, since I really didn¡¯t have anywhere else to hide.


    I held my breath when the steps stopped right outside my door and my hand flew to the pair of scissors stuck in one of the metal cups on my desk. If my unwanted guest was a Human, a question by now all too common for me, I¡¯d stick the damn scissors straight through his eye. As I was, in that moment, after all I¡¯d been through, no Human could ever scare me!


    The door opened slowly, as I readied myself for my bloody attack and then, everything was blank, and I couldn¡¯t help stare at him in complete disbelief.


    ¡°Michael?¡± I muttered, blinking, wondering if I¡¯d somehow fallen asleep without noticing it.


    Michael also seemed taken aback, as if he hadn¡¯t expect to see me there, even though we were in my room. His dripping wet blond hair fell around his face, the black leather jacket he wore and his motorcycle boots leaving a small pool on the floor where he stood. And then, he suddenly seemed to wake up, and he strode into my room, going straight to my wardrobe.


    ¡°Put this on!¡± he told me dryly, throwing a flannel shirt at me that I almost couldn¡¯t catch. And I was suddenly very much aware that I¡¯d been standing there, staring at him in disbelief, wearing only my bra.


    I obeyed, awkwardly, turning my back on him to button up my shirt but, before I could even finish, his hand was already around my wrist, and he was dragging me out of the door.


    ¡°Hey! Michael! Wait!!¡± I complained, stumbling as my aching legs failed, but he ignored me and pulled me down the stairs.


    I stumbled again, and would have fallen if he hadn¡¯t pulled me up as if I were a child learning how to walk, the iron strength of his fingers around my wrist hurting me by the time we got to the ground floor.


    ¡°Stop!!¡± I commanded, angry at his silent arrogance, and tried to free my hand. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked, my voice cracking, but the look he gave me silenced my protests at once.


    His green eyes were glowing as if they were precious stones touched by the sun and something in him was suddenly very frightening.


    ¡°Don¡¯t argue with me, Mariane! And do as I tell you!¡± he simply replied and, although he hadn¡¯t raised his tone and almost sounded calm, his voice echoed inside me, giving me the creeps. I couldn¡¯t resist him when he pulled me again, helplessly stumbling forward, but as we passed by the living room door I saw a body lying on the floor that made my heart jump in agony.


    ¡°Lea!¡± I called desperately but Michael didn¡¯t slow down, forcing me to keep up with him. ¡°No! Let go of me! Let go!¡± I demanded, now roaring as I fought his hand with all my strength, and he turned, wrapping a hand around my waist and easily scooping me from the ground,


    I screamed, and hit him, and kicked him, and screamed again until my already hoarse throat almost couldn¡¯t scream anymore, but nothing made him free me, or stop dragging me outside where the rain mercilessly drenched us again.


    I wanted to cry but had no tears. I wanted to get free from his hold but didn¡¯t have enough strength. My wishes all echoed empty inside of me. Because my Soul felt nothing for Lea, she didn¡¯t care one little bit about what Michael might want with me, nothing would be able to move her except for Gabriel, and Gabriel wasn¡¯t there.


    Michael dropped me on the seat of his bike, holding me firmly, bearing indifferently my constant kicks and punches. But no matter how hard he held me there was no way I was just going to quietly sit there, and there was no way he could start that bike with me thrashing around like that. He sighed deeply and wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling me back against his chest, squeezing just enough to stop me from breathing.


    ¡°Sit still, or I swear I¡¯ll put you to sleep,¡± he threatened in a whisper as cold as the rain and the shock that washed over me at that warning left me stunned for a second, time enough for him to send his bike roaring down the street.


    I could hardly breathe at the speed he was going, the ice cold rain feeling like stones thrown against me, making me raise my arms to protect my face, and I was sure he was going to kill us both, the wheels of his motorbike squealing against the wet pavement. The curves left me sick to my stomach, making me feel dizzy again, and I would have fallen from the seat more than once, if not for the arm wrapped around my waist, holding me in place against his warm body.


    When he finally stopped, the first thing I did was bend to the side and throw up, but there was nothing in my stomach. His hand grabbed me again, dragging me mercilessly, and I fell on my knees, breathing heavily, my ice cold hair sticking to my face, making me feel really sick. Still he pulled me up again, forcing me to walk even though every muscle in my body hurt. I know I stumbled up some stairs and finally his hand let go of me, and I fell on a hard ground as cold as the rain that had wet me, but finally a blessed motionless surface. The slamming of a heavy door filled the air, startling me, and his footsteps walked by me, making me feel relieved that he was walking away.


    I fought to quickly sort out my thoughts, feeling too confused and tired, pain muddling my brain. I noticed that it wasn¡¯t raining anymore, although it was so cold that I couldn¡¯t stop shivering. With a stab of pain I remembered Lea¡¯s body lying on the floor by the living room door and clenched my hands, looking for strength to raise my head.


    I saw him standing a few steps away, his back turned to me as he faced an altar illuminated by a heavy chandelier. I felt lost and looked around me, and noticed that we were in a church, obviously empty at that time of night.


    Taking a deep breath, I held on to one of the wooden benches, and forced my shaky legs to obey me and support my weight as they should. The world around me spun dangerously as I stood up, and I held on to the bench until the dizziness subsided.


    ¡°Michael!¡± I called out to him once I regained my composure, and my hoarse voice echoed eerily.


    I saw him shudder, before he turned back to me, and facing his pained and guilty expression broke my anger and determination.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Mari. Everything¡¯s going to be all right,¡± he said, coming towards me, and the memory of the unbreakable prison that were his arms made me take a step back. He stopped, giving up on the idea of coming any closer, and his pained expression became even bitterer. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I hurt you.¡±


    ¡°Why did you bring me here?¡± I demanded and only then noticed that it wasn¡¯t the first time we were in that place.


    He seemed to hear my thoughts and smiled lightly as he looked around.


    ¡°Remember when we first came here?¡± I didn¡¯t answer and he took a deep, melancholic breath. ¡°You told me you were looking for an angel because yours had fallen asleep, and you thought I could never fulfill that task.¡± I trembled when he looked at me with that same intensity from before. ¡°I brought you here to protect you!¡± he declared and his voice echoed like a thunder all around us.


    ¡°Protect?¡± I repeated, not knowing if I should feel confused or frightened. ¡°Protect me from what?¡± I asked in a whisper, trying to call him back to reason, but apparently my words only fired his anger even more.


    ¡°Protect you from what! Protect you from what?!¡± he shouted, his voice a threatening crescendo, and he was on me before I could even think of escaping, and I stumbled and almost fell back, but he held me by my arm.


    He pulled me against his warm body and I screamed in panic, pushing him away with all my strength, unable to get free again. He grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled it hard, breaking the sewing threads that kept the buttons in place, and pulled it down my arm, undressing me roughly. I cringed instinctively and he grabbed me again, shaking me, making me dizzy and nauseated.


    ¡°You¡¯re still asking what? Look at this! Look!¡± he ordered, his voice like a thunder again, and I obeyed, trembling. My eyes fell upon the dark marks left on my skin, the bruises I had ignored as if they¡¯d never existed, the same that Gabriel¡¯s cold hands had given me. ¡°On your arms. On your chest. On your back. Where else did he touch you?¡±


    The shock lit a smoldering anger inside me.


    ¡°Let go of me!¡± I demanded dryly and he seemed perplexed by my sudden apparent firmness.


    ¡°Mariane! He¡¯ll end up destroying you!¡± he insisted, resisting through all my attempts to get free, and I faced him severely. ¡°Can¡¯t you see? I only want what¡¯s best for you. I only want to protect you. And although I understand that, up till now, you had to deal with all this on your own, you no longer need to. You no longer need to stay with him!¡±


    ¡°Michael!¡± I shouted, hurting my sore throat. I couldn¡¯t even hear those words. What did he know of what I needed? My anger turned against him again and I fought to get free from his unyielding hands. ¡°Let go!¡± I shouted and a thunder crackled all around us, as if ricocheting on the walls, making the ground under my feet shake.


    Cold wind broke my anger and I only noticed that there wasn¡¯t anything holding me anymore when I stumbled forward. I held on to the bench once more, to stop myself from falling, and made sure I was still breathing before I raised my head.


    Alexander was standing right in front of me, his presence so cold and fierce that it made me shudder. But he wasn¡¯t the only one. And, as I looked back, I saw Gabriel leaning against the now wide opened, tall wooden door, his arms folded over his chest, like an authentic inanimate block of ice.


    Jonathan stepped forward with hesitant steps, dripping water all over the place, and stopped beside me. However, he didn¡¯t even look at me, his anxious gaze locked on Alexander¡¯s straight back, his tension leaving me apprehensive.


    The sound of laughter filled the air around us, startling me. And only then I noticed that Michael was lying on the floor at the base of the altar, as if he¡¯d been thrown across the air by an invisible force, to somewhere far away from me. I was immediately worried that he might be hurt, and then noticed he was the one laughing, and, in complete disbelief, saw him stand up effortlessly.


    His green eyes glowed coldly, as if burning in a green cold fire, and I inhaled sharply, since I had never imagined his gentle face could be able of an expression like that, my heart beating too fast, making my chest hurt.


    ¡°How dare you come in here?¡± I heard his voice, clear and strong, the implicit threat dripping out of his every single word, and I knew immediately he wasn¡¯t talking to me anymore.


    ¡°Because it would seem you have a serious hearing problem. It¡¯s the second time she tells you to let go and that you¡¯re not quite able to listen,¡± Alexander replied in that same restrained tone, but contempt was thick in his voice.


    ¡°This matter does not concern you!¡± Michael stated severely and I felt Jonathan¡¯s anxiety grow by the minute, contaminating me.


    ¡°That it¡¯s not for the likes of you to decide,¡± Alexander replied and Michael smiled, but that same expression that had always brought me comfort and warmth could only make me shiver, leaving me certain that he could not be real, that he could not be the Michael I knew.


    ¡°Oh, really? Who should decide then?¡± he asked ironically and his voice lowered to a deeper menacing tone. ¡°You¡¯re interfering in something that it¡¯s none of your business! Because you¡¯re nothing but a dog at the beck and call of that thing, over there!¡± My heart almost stopped knowing he was referring to Gabriel. I waited in fear for his fury, or to simply watch as he appeared at Michael¡¯s side and shredded him to pieces, right there and then.


    Alexander seemed to share my thoughts and his bright sword appeared out of thin air in his right hand.


    ¡°You think what you like! That thing over there won¡¯t have to lift a single finger to put you out of your misery!¡± he growled in a dark threat, and Michael laughed again, insanely, as I begged in my thoughts that he would just run away while he could!


    ¡°And what can a fallen one like you do against me?¡± Michael demanded and everything inside me fell into a deep silence. ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a traitor!¡±


    ¡°You may even be right. But at least I didn¡¯t abandon anyone!¡± Alexander replied with pure loathing and Michael smiled coldly again.


    ¡°No, you dragged him down with you. And what is he now? Nothing but an aberration, just like you! What was the use of breaking the Law? A broken thing will never be able to save anyone!¡± he declared and Alexander¡¯s rage was so intense that it left me breathless.


    Black feathers scattered all over the place and then he wasn¡¯t standing there anymore. A thunderous sound echoed throughout the entire church, and my eyes anxiously flew all over the place, looking for him. I stopped breathing when I saw Alexander leaning over Michael, his face a furious mask. And it took me some time to understand that Michael had been able to stop his attack, that he was smiling coldly, and that he was holding a sword much like Alexander¡¯s.


    Alexander swiftly jumped back, his legs flexing as if he were an animal, his head bending low as he faced his enemy, and Michael stood up, holding his sword that looked almost made of light, readying himself for the next attack.


    I was unable to move as I watched Alexander¡¯s face slowly change, becoming progressively less like him, taking on the expression of the emotions commanding his actions. And I recalled what he¡¯d told me about constantly fighting against certain parts of him, stopping them from emerging, so that he could remain who he was. My chest hurt as I realized that Michael had been wrong, that he wasn¡¯t a fallen one, but that he was still falling, losing himself piece by piece every time he allowed his dark emotions to take over him, like what was happening right now. And I wished I could stop him, I wished I could run to hold him back, but my shaky legs just wouldn¡¯t move and my throat was too dry to emit any sound. Alexander raised his bright sword that looked like a shadow when compared to Michael¡¯s, and Michael smiled at him in a cold challenge, as if he were unable to fear him.


    ¡°Sigweardiel!¡± The young, clear voice that filled the air with that shout was like a blast of cold wind over a scorching desert, and everything was suddenly very quiet and silent, so much so that, for the first time, I could hear the rain falling outside.


    Alexander slowly straightened his back and lowered his sword as if he¡¯d received an irresistible command, and Jonathan stepped forward, his head raised high, passing by me and then by Alexander without even acknowledging neither of our presences.


    Michael was also looking at him, his burning green eyes intimidating, although he seemed intrigued by the boy¡¯s sudden interference. And Jonathan stopped just a few steps from him, facing him with absolute and unwavering determination.


    ¡°Sigweardiel is my Guardian!¡± he declared with such vehemence that Alexander shuddered. ¡°I will not allow you to destroy him!¡±


    ¡°He is no Guardian,¡± Michael replied in a warmer, condescending tone, more like the Michael I knew, almost as if he felt sorry for the delusional boy looking up at him. ¡°And you are not a Human Being. Or do you believe you are?¡±


    Jonathan closed his hands into two tight fists, and I regretfully recalled how that was a painful subject for him. Even so he kept his head high, still facing him, and he was suddenly not a boy at all, certainly not frail or vulnerable.


    ¡°I may not know what I am, but I know all too well what I¡¯m not!¡± he admitted. ¡°However, my Soul is still a Gaalgha¡¯s Soul! And, as a Gaalgha, I will not allow you to destroy him!¡± He practically threatened Michael, who slightly tilted his head to a side, as if reflecting on the boy¡¯s words.


    ¡°With that curse on you, you¡¯ll never be able to use your Soul¡¯s power, even if you could make your feelings one, which I seriously doubt,¡± Michael concluded.


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong about that,¡± Jonathan replied, apparently indifferent to what he¡¯d said, when I knew all too well how those words had hurt him. ¡°I may not survive, and I¡¯ll probably shatter into pieces, but I guarantee you that I¡¯ll be able to use it. And you! You¡¯ll have destroyed a Gaalgha.¡±


    Alexander took a step forward, his face a mask of pure terror. ¡°Jonathan, please,¡± he mumbled pleadingly, but seemed unable to dissuade him.


    I wrapped my arms around me and dug my nails into my own skin. I was the only one to blame for all this mess, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to either one of them. In any case I just couldn¡¯t keep running away, pretending not to see the truth, allowing my usual escape pattern to cost me the life of someone I cared for.


    ¡°Enough,¡± I said in my almost inaudible voice, but still they all turned back to look at me. I took a deep breath, reinforcing my decision, and raised my head, ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± I repeated and looked for the courage to speak my next words. ¡°I need a moment with ... Michael ... alone, please,¡± I declared and, even without seeing it, I felt as Gabriel moved for the first time since they¡¯d arrived and left, leaving me completely frozen inside.


    Alexander seemed to notice it as well and immediately appeared by Jonathan¡¯s side, leaving a rain of black feathers on his trail, and gently pulled him back, making him move, even though Jonathan kept glaring up at Michael with that dark threat in his eyes.


    ¡°Mari, are you sure..?¡± Alexander asked me as he stopped by my side and I looked up at him, making sure I was smiling when I did. He was worried for me, I could tell, but, above all he was relieved. His arm was wrapped protectively across Jonathan¡¯s chest, his face back to his normal self, and seeing that was enough to make me absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing.


    ¡°Yes, thank you, and I¡¯m sorry,¡± I added towards Jonathan and he finally looked away from Michael, looking like a fourteen-year-old boy again, almost embarrassed even.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be close by,¡± Alexander said and I nodded.


    Watching them go was even harder then I¡¯d expected and I suddenly felt very much alone and abandoned.


    Michael was still looking at me, his expression now bitter and hurt, again the Michael I knew, although his eyes kept glowing, and his blond hair looked like it was made of gold, shining under the light of the chandelier. He averted his gaze with what looked like regret, and seemed to struggle to find the right words.


    ¡°Mari ¡­¡±


    ¡°Tell me!¡± I interrupted him, my voice rough and harsh, and he raised his head unable to understand me. ¡°I want to hear it in your own words! From your mouth. In your voice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m ... sorry,¡± he said. I shook my head in stubborn refusal and squeezed the shirt he¡¯d rendered useless.


    ¡°The truth!¡±


    ¡°Mari ...¡±


    ¡°The truth, Michael!¡± I demanded, raising my voice, hurting my throat, and for an instant that hoarse sound filled the church.


    Michael was silent for a long time, but then a sigh left his lips and, with it, his sword disappeared in a cloud of incandescent sparks that were gone even before they could reach the floor.


    ¡°The truth ¡­¡± he repeated with a sorrowful tone and I waited for him to go on. ¡°The truth is my name is ¡­ Aldaraian.¡± He hesitated, looking for a reaction, but I remained completely still. ¡°Which, in the ancient tongue means Will of God. I am a Merifri, an angel, as you Humans call us.¡± Hearing those words in his warm voice hurt much more than the rough way he¡¯d treated me just moments ago. ¡°Better yet, I¡¯m an Iaidon, a Guardian. And, in this present time, I¡¯m the Iaidon in charge of protecting the Gaalgha known, in the Human world, as ¡­ Mariane Mellis.¡±


    My name sounded all wrong in his voice, hurting me, and even though I wished I could feel anger towards him or even disgust, the only thing I could feel was that deep, sharp pain that stole my breath away. Images of him filled my mind, of his bright smile, of his warm gaze, of the moments we¡¯d spent together when I¡¯d thought he was only ... Michael. All false ... all lies ... all empty.


    ¡°You ... left me,¡± were the only words that escaped my lips and then he was there, right in front of me, startling me.


    ¡°Hush,¡± he whispered, trying to appease me, and I looked up at him, at his unnatural beauty, at how even his skin seemed to glow. ¡°I had no other choice.¡± His pained voice made me look straight into his absurdly clear eyes.


    ¡°And you erased my memories ... of you?¡±


    ¡°I had to. You¡¯d have been in pain if I had simply disappeared,¡± he clarified, but his words didn¡¯t make any sense to me. ¡°And I had to make sure you would move to a different town, too, or I would have had to manipulate the memories of everyone around you, everyone that knew you,¡± he added, softly.


    ¡°Move?¡± I repeated, still dumbfounded, still trying to make sense of all that had happened, and he nodded. ¡°The divorce? My father¡¯s offer to go to the U.S.A.?¡± I asked, now in complete disbelief, and he nodded again. A sarcastic smile took over my lips. ¡°This is ... ridiculous,¡± I mumbled almost to myself, feeling like a rag doll in the hands of stupidly strong and powerful beings. ¡°You took my father from me, he took my mother ... Jonathan was right. You¡¯re all the same!¡± I declared, resenting him deeply, and Michael frowned, that threatening expression returning to his face.


    ¡°Do not compare me to that thing!¡± he commanded rudely, but I faced him with my coldest expression.


    ¡°No? At least my mom came back to spend the holidays with me. And I¡¯ll see her again soon. I haven¡¯t seen my father at all for the last two years!¡± I accused him dryly and smiled again, the irony choking me. ¡°I should hate you!¡± I declared and he seemed shocked by my words. ¡°All this time, right beside me.¡±


    ¡°No! I swear! I swear that I didn¡¯t know!¡± He hurriedly cut me off, and then looked slightly embarrassed. ¡°Only today when I saw you on that park ... and you suddenly disappeared amongst all that light. It was as if my mind had been kept in the dark and suddenly someone had flicked the switch on, and there was light again! You have to understand, Mari!¡± He held me by my shoulders and I couldn¡¯t help recoil from his touch. ¡°I never wished for any of this to happen. I never even intended to let my presence be known to you. But your Soul was always too bright, and no matter how many barriers I placed around you, that inferior scum would always find you!¡± He spit out the words with hatred. ¡°And, of course, I¡¯d always protect you! But, for more than once, you knew that something was wrong, that you were somehow in danger, and you were so small. You started having nightmares, and you were always afraid, even to go to school. You would wake up at night, screaming in terror, and even your parents didn¡¯t know what else to do. I feared your mind might break down under the pressure and so I thought that if you knew ¡­ if you knew that I was there, always by your side, always protecting you, that you wouldn¡¯t feel so scared. And I was right.


    ¡°You suddenly stopped being afraid to go to school, and there were no more nightmares. And when you had a bad dream I would hold you in my arms and you would quickly go back to sleep. Everything was better. Your parents too, seemed a lot happier, less stressed, and I became a part of your life. Unavoidably, I loved you since the moment you were born, but loving a Gaalgha was no news to me. Even when I noticed my feelings slowly changing as you grew up, or when I became aware that your Soul didn¡¯t attract only inferior Deiwos, but irresistibly attracted my Soul as well. Even then I never felt, not even once, that I wouldn¡¯t be able to fulfill my mission.¡±


    I found myself unable to move, as if he¡¯d cast some kind of Magic Spell to keep me in that place, and the suffering that transfigured his face left me hanging.


    ¡°I told myself that the proximity between us was normal, since we knew each other since you were a child,¡± he continued, ¡°And I refused to see that I was the only one you really talked to, that it was to me you came running every time you had some news to share, that it was in me you confided your secrets. I allowed all boundaries to be crossed, one by one, under the excuse that I was your Guardian. I let you get close to me, get attached to me, because it made me feel good. I knew that I was the only one to blame for your absent social life, for your almost complete lack of friends, and that that was wrong. Because you came into this world to live a Human life. But still I allowed this to be, happy with the knowledge that I was special to you, that no one could take my place.¡±


    I felt his warm hand caress my face and my body responded the same way it had always responded, when he was still just Michael and I a silly girl in love with the school¡¯s idol.


    ¡°Recklessly, I wished you could love me, and you did love me, and from that instant on everything was lost. I could no longer resist your warm embrace ... or your touch ... or your defiant smile ... Because while you were allowed to do all these things, for me there was a clear line I could not cross. And I was afraid, because if I did cross it I¡¯d have to leave you forever, to leave you alone to fend for yourself. At that point, the only thing that mattered was that I could remain by your side.


    ¡°And so I decided to erase my existence from your mind, and then erase my own memories so that I wouldn¡¯t be tempted to get close to you again. Your parents had been discussing the divorce for quite some time then, and I took that chance to make sure you¡¯d move somewhere else, somewhere where you could start a new life. And then I made sure that, even while I slept, I could be close to you, so that I could protect you if you needed. I was too na?ve,¡± he added with a sorrowful tone and his warm hand ran across my wet hair, gently straightening it around my face. ¡°The barrier I placed around you was meant to wake me up the instant you were in danger, and it did work, twice. I woke up, defeated that inferior scum and, once my task was done, went back to sleep. But I only placed that one clause on it, to defend you from attacks coming from the outside. It never occurred to me that you¡¯d be the one to break it, from the inside out, that you¡¯d be the one to call one of them to you. And once the barrier was destroyed its effect became null, and I didn¡¯t wake up again.¡±


    The absence of his voice seemed to break the spell that kept me motionless and I took a step back to avoid his touch.


    I felt tired and confused, and clearly unable to process not even half of what he¡¯d just told me. In my mind I could only see the Michael I knew; remember the pain in his voice when he¡¯d told me about how he¡¯d lost his memory, how no one had come forth to claim him. His bitter expression when he¡¯d insisted he¡¯d done something really wrong and how he wished his life could remain the way it was. And I was suddenly aware that all that was gone ... for me as much as for him. I couldn¡¯t help thinking just how ridiculous all my inner battles had been, and I recalled what Alexander had told me about the irresistible attraction between Guardians and Gaalgha. And finally I heard Gabriel¡¯s velvet voice, his warm breath caressing my skin, as he told me that there were still things that I didn¡¯t know. ¡¯And when you do, remember that it was for your sake that I stopped now.¡¯


    I ran a cold, shaky hand over my face and took a deep breath, annoyed at the headache that insistently drummed in my head making it even harder to think clearly.


    ¡°Michael, I need time. I need to think about all this ... and right now, I¡¯m too tired,¡± I confessed, suddenly not wanting anything else but my bed, but he gave a step towards me, grabbing my shoulders again, his expression almost exasperated, as if I¡¯d completely failed to understand what he¡¯d meant.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you I love you! That I¡¯ve loved you since the day you were born!¡± he told me in one breath and his words exploded in my head.


    ¡°Stop! I don¡¯t want to hear that!¡± I shouted over his voice, fighting to get free from him again, but he didn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t you want the truth?¡±


    ¡°Everything but that! Let go of me!¡±


    He held my right arm roughly, pulling the velvet ribbon that I kept around my wrist, and the ribbon broke, hurting my skin.


    ¡°Why? Because of this? Because of this damn Contract?¡± he shouted and I was suddenly quiet as I noticed that the small mark was still there, the relief that washed over me robing my legs of their strength, making me tremble. ¡°You have nothing to fear, Mari. It¡¯s all right. I know you did it for me,¡± he told me, his voice soft again, even though his hand kept squeezing my arm. ¡°But you know ¡­ this, none of this is valid. Because he could never promise to give you something that was already yours to begin with. All this time, he has been deceiving you!¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I practically growled, pulling my hand free from his grip and held my wrist against my chest, protectively. ¡°You¡¯re lying!¡±


    Michael put a sorrowful expression on his face. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry, but it will be all right. You won¡¯t have to see him ever again. And since that Contract is invalid, I can easily erase that horrible mark from your skin, and you¡¯ll be able to go back to your everyday life.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I shouted again, and stepped back, as the world spun around me, dark walls closing down on me, making it hard to breathe. ¡°No! I don¡¯t want to! I don¡¯t want to live without him!¡±


    ¡°Mariane!¡± His severe tone startled me, filling the air around us with that thundering sound, and still I raised my head to face him, to defend what little happiness I¡¯d found.


    ¡°I am not the same anymore! I am not your Mariane anymore!¡±


    ¡°You are Gaalgha!!¡± he roared in his thunder-like voice and his skin glowed even more, his face a furious mask. ¡°And Gaalgha have no business near despicable creatures like Deiwos!¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything to me! And this Contract ... this Contract too, even if it is invalid, I don¡¯t care! I want to stay with him!¡± I declared without a shadow of a doubt, and the thunder that roared all around us made me dizzy.


    The pain of being thrown against something hard and cold sent needles throughout my entire body and I had to gasp for air. His warm hand surrounded my neck, immobilizing me like before, making me stand on the tips of my toes so I wouldn¡¯t choke, and his face leaned over mine with a sorrowful expression of regret.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I cannot allow that,¡± he whispered softly, his warm breath caressing my lips, and I uselessly clawed at his hand, fighting for every breath. ¡°I promise I won¡¯t hurt you. I¡¯ll just erase all your memories again and take you somewhere far, where you¡¯ll be able to start anew, and where you¡¯ll live the Human life you were born to experience.¡±


    Despair washed over me and warm tears slid down my face, tears that could never hurt him and that thus were easily ignored.


    He placed his other hand on my forehead, and I clawed and scratched his face when his lips touched mine, stealing the little air I¡¯d been able to manage.


    My wrist burned painfully and I sobbed, feeling as if I was being torn into pieces. Everything in me was pain, and anguish, and despair, and another voice, equally torn, rose inside me.


    You cannot lose him! Call him to you! she commanded, but I didn¡¯t know how to call him if I couldn¡¯t even speak.


    And then I could see it, as clear as day, the page from where I¡¯d read the Magic Spell that had released him and, in reality, there was only one word, one word that really mattered, and I wondered how I¡¯d never seen it before.


    ¡¯Ishanyx!!¡¯


    It was as if a bomb had exploded right next to my ears and I fell helplessly on the floor, coughing and gasping for air.


    His terrifying presence reached me way before I could even hear the clashing sound of metal against metal, and I urgently dried my eyes, trying to see what had happened.


    Michael averted Gabriel¡¯s spear that hit one of the benches instead, rendering it into small wooden splinters and dust, and immediately disappeared, appearing on the far side of the church, his breath heavy and labored.


    ¡°What are you doing here? Shouldn¡¯t you be out there destroying your own kind?¡± Michael asked, straightening his back, recovering from Gabriel¡¯s surprise attack, and Gabriel kicked the pieces of wood at his feet, and they flew like sharp daggers towards Michael¡¯s head, forcing him to quickly slide out of the way. ¡°You have nothing to do with Mari! And that damn Contract is invalid!¡± Michael shouted and Gabriel smiled coldly, pointing his spear at Michael¡¯s chest.


    ¡°You dumb, stupid Merifri!¡± Gabriel sneered in his most cold and cruel tone. ¡°That Human evoked me and offered me her blood. Her Soul belongs to me and it¡¯s mine to do as I please. And this Contract that you so much insist in nullifying, and that you stupidly just fulfilled, is the agreement we reached and the only way she¡¯ll be able to keep her Soul. I really advise you to stop interfering, before I decide to claim what is rightfully mine. As we now stand, the only thing she owes me is a long night of hot and passionate sex!¡± he added dryly and I couldn¡¯t help feel humiliated before his cold, cruel words.


    Michael, on the other hand, was burning in anger and, with a loud roar that made the ground shake, jumped forward as two beautiful white wings sprung from his back.


    The deafening sound that filled the air when they clashed midair echoed in the high chamber, and from then on I could hardly see them, as they jumped and flew from one place to another, using the walls and ceiling the same way they used the floor, to propel themselves through the air.


    I cowered where I sat, protecting my head with my arms as pieces of wood and stone flew everywhere, almost as if I were sitting in the middle of a cataclysm.


    The sound of a barrier vibrating made me open my eyes to peer into that war zone, and I blinked in astonishment as I noticed the pile of debris piled all around me.


    ¡°Mari? Are you all right?¡± I looked at Alexander, crouching beside me, and knew that the barrier protecting me was his doing. ¡°Listen carefully!¡± he went on with a serious expression, not even waiting for my answer. ¡°Izrail is going to destroy him. He himself told me that he¡¯d do it if he had to interfere, and that¡¯s why he asked me to come here instead of him. He didn¡¯t want you to watch as he destroyed your Guardian. But now that things have reached this point, it¡¯s simply unavoidable. So, just come with me!¡±


    I blinked once again, trying to make his words sink in, and looked at the two amazing creatures fiercely fighting each other; Michael with his white wings and golden hair, Gabriel like a dark shadow with pale face.


    Foolishly enough I remembered seeing them standing side by side, at school, shaking hands, exchanging greetings and even smiles. It all felt out of place, as if right then, that church, couldn¡¯t possibly be my reality. And then it suddenly came to me, and I knew I¡¯d been in that same place many times before, the floor below me feeling much harder and cold. I¡¯d dreamt of that moment, time and time again, and my dream always ended ...


    The thunder-like sound that filled the air was much stronger than the ones before, cutting off my thoughts, and the wall behind me cracked and opened from top to bottom. With my heart beating against my chest, I saw Michael slide down over it until he hit the floor, just a few steps from where I sat, as if he¡¯d been thrown against it by some brute force. There was blood on his clothes and the sword he held on to shuddered in his hand when he tried to raise it but the strength to do it failed him.


    And then Gabriel was there too, soundlessly landing over a pile of debris as if he could float, his eyes glowing red as he raised his spear, pointing it at Michael¡¯s chest. Michael tried again, clenching his teeth, his face angry and frustrated, but his arm just wouldn¡¯t obey, and Gabriel smiled, towering over him like a predator who knew he¡¯d just cornered his prey.


    Panicking I knew that Michael would never be able to defend himself from his next attack, and I tried to stand up, wanting to reach them, wanting to stop Gabriel¡¯s hand as he pulled his spear back to stab him, but my aching legs wouldn¡¯t obey. And all I could do was close my eyes and scream when Gabriel thrust his spear forward, and my will was suddenly one again.


    Something burned my chest and warm tears slid down my face. I just couldn¡¯t lose any of them, not like this.


    I opened my eyes, not really knowing if I was dead or alive, and saw Gabriel¡¯s spear, pointing at my chest, turn into ashes, his expression of horror locked on my face. I knew that he¡¯d gotten rid of it so he wouldn¡¯t run me though with it, and I lowered my arms as relief washed over me when I realized I¡¯d been able to stop him.


    ¡°So, this is it.¡± His cold whisper startled me and yet I couldn¡¯t react in time to avoid his cold hands, as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pushed me violently against the wall. I felt dizzy again, at how fast we¡¯d moved, and my aching body protested painfully. ¡°So, you¡¯re protecting him now?¡± he went on, accusing me in that raging tone, and I looked at him stunned, trying to blink away the tears that stubbornly blurred my vision. ¡°Are you crying because of him?¡± he shouted and I cringed reflexively, as the wall on my back trembled and cracked some more.


    ¡°Izrail! Stop it!¡± I heard Alexander¡¯s angry voice, but he didn¡¯t even look at him.


    ¡°Stay out of this, Sigweardiel!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re hurting her!¡±


    ¡°I said, stay out of this!¡± he shouted again and this time even the floor cracked opened, swallowing pieces of wood, as if we were in the middle of an earthquake. ¡°So? Is he your choice?¡± he asked me in a tone that would never admit denial and I trembled before his immeasurable presence.


    My desperate will reached for the power of the Circle around my neck and his thoughts reached me like agonizing whispers that made me cry.


    ¡°Why ... are you lying?¡± I mumbled in my hoarse voice and raised a hand to touch his cold, pale face. ¡°Why all these questions when you know all the answers?¡±


    He held my face between his hard fingers and leaned over me, the scent of his skin leaving a bitter taste in my mouth as his thoughts told me exactly what would follow.


    ¡°It was him you protected. For him, you placed your life in danger. Because it¡¯s him you chose,¡± he whispered cruelly in my ear, as if his words were a Magic Spell meant to mold my mind to his will, and I sobbed before his insistence.


    ¡°And yet you¡¯ve already decided ... to leave me because it¡¯s the best for me, because now I have my Guardian Angel to look over me and I don¡¯t need you anymore,¡± I echoed his own thoughts and he pulled the chain from my neck, stealing his thoughts from me.


    ¡°That¡¯s what your mind tells you,¡± he declared and looked down at Michael with scorn. ¡°If you want to belong to him, feel free to do so! As he said, I declare our Contract invalid,¡± he announced in a cold, unfeeling voice and, although I wanted to scream, and argue, and beg, all I could do was sob. He looked back at me and his cold fingers gently caressed my face, insensible to the burns that my tears left on his skin. ¡°In return, I¡¯ll claim what is rightfully mine and, once your life is over, I¡¯ll come back to take your Soul,¡± he told me and, with a fast move, held my chin, making me raise my head, and all I could see was the dark, cracked ceiling.


    His lips touched my chest in a cold kiss that pierced me like a blazing dagger. And, even so, I raised a trembling hand to caress his dark hair, loving, for the last time, the pain he gave me.


    ¡°Goodbye ... Mariane ¡­¡±


    His cold voice echoed in my ears and I fell. I didn¡¯t feel the impact against the hard floor, but the cold stone seemed to invite me to sleep. The damage done to my being was just too deep, too vast to even consider trying to fix it. Contrary to what had happened before, I didn¡¯t fight the cold chains that dragged me down, towards the deep darkness, and I plunged into it by my own free will; wishing I could sink as fast as possible and simply forget ...


    * If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/</a>

 Epilogue

    I stare at the point of my pen that, without my consent, stopped writing.


    Drops fall on the paper, smudging and deforming the small dark letters imprinted on it, the same letters I just wrote on that once white surface. Perplexed, I take a hand to my face and find it wet, and I almost smile at the tears that blur my vision, certain of how rare they are, to the point I¡¯d even forgotten I was able to cry at all.


    Am I alive ... or am I dead?


    Maybe my life ended when I fell on that cold, stone floor; the fog that paved my path belonging to a shadowy world inhabited only by lost spirits. And yet, the warm tears that my eyes insist to shed seem to challenge that theory. After all, in my limited human belief, death should be unfeeling and cold.


    Somewhere from deep inside my mind, pieces of days I don¡¯t recall living emerge. Days that, unnoticed, have gone by me, as if they have never existed. Maybe they¡¯re just pieces of dreams from a lost spirit, but, in all of them, an angel with golden hair and bright green eyes stares at me, his expression filled with pain and compassion. In these strange lost dreams he is always present, fulfilling the everyday tasks that, in truth, were mine to fulfill. His warm, gentle hands treat me like I¡¯m a porcelain doll, precious but inanimate, dressing me, combing my hair, feeding me and forcing me to walk. With fake, frail smiles he leaves me sitting somewhere filled with people I can¡¯t recognize, and there I stay, deaf and dumb, until he comes back to get me. His warm voice reads me letters from people I don¡¯t recall, and replies to them in my place. Sometimes he wraps his arms around me, holding me in despair, but, although his body is warm and soft, I keep frozen and dead on the inside, unable of words or thoughts, and completely empty of feelings.


    The wind that blows is cold, pulling my mind away from questions I cannot answer and, lost, I look around me.


    The faraway landscape is a horizon painted in fire and gold, and it¡¯s beautiful, as I have the honor to be present at the time of death of yet another day ... and what a magnificent death it is!


    And yet, I can¡¯t seem to recall how I got there, or if I¡¯ve ever been there before. The pain that pierces through my chest surprises me as much as the tears from before. I turn back, startled and blinking in disbelief at the shadow that keeps watching me. For an instant I can¡¯t hear anything, not even the constant roar of the wind that quickly freezes my skin. And, unconsciously, I squeeze the notebook still lost in my hands.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    In truth ... In truth I¡¯ve been to this place before and, with an agonizing pain that steals my breath away, I recall those same tiles covered with a luxurious green carpet in which small, delicate white flowers bloomed. I feel I¡¯m at the brink of madness as images burst into my mind all at once, leaving me with the sensation that my eyes are on fire, my brain slowly melting down. I see him standing right there, in front of me. I feel his fingers touch me, ever so lightly, and I hear his voice whispering in my ear, his cold soft lips over my skin, his insanely burning kiss over my chest.


    And suddenly everything goes quiet again.


    My breathing fills the air, too fast, too labored, and yet this time I¡¯m sure it belongs to me. That I¡¯m really alive, and not dead. And that the pungent pain that tortures me is, in fact, proof that my heart keeps beating.


    My eyes get blurry again and I cry in all my pain. I raise my gaze but the shadow is nowhere to be seen and, in deep agony, I know that, in truth, he was never there.


    A stronger blast of wind makes me shiver, reminding me of his cold touch and I hear his voice in a whisper, tearing my being into pieces, destroying it completely. ¡¯I declare our Contract as invalid. In return, I¡¯ll claim what it¡¯s rightfully mine ... and, once your life is over, I¡¯ll come back to take your Soul.¡¯


    I turn back, startled again, knowing beforehand that the only thing I can really hear is the wind, and the flaming horizon captures my attention.


    I¡¯m suddenly calm. Not numb, or insensible, or apathetic. It¡¯s as if I could be many people at the same time, each one with its own voice and, suddenly, everyone said the same, in a complete mutual agreement.


    I take a step forward and climb on the ledge. I see myself sitting there, right beside my feet, laughing as I take packets of cookies from inside a bag. My expression seems to glow ... my smile is real ... and I know that that girl is me, and yet I can¡¯t recognize her at all.


    I raise my head and take a deep breath, the cold air hurting my lungs. I hug my notebook even tighter, my one and only treasure, filled with enchantments, rituals and evocations that never worked, the same ones I tried night after night, every time I could get a glimpse of sanity ... all for nothing ... all of them useless.


    I smile. In the end there¡¯s nothing left, and so there¡¯s nothing to lose.


    ¡°Ishanyx, this Soul that belongs to you, you can come and claim it now,¡± I whisper to the merciless, roaring wind and simply ... let myself fall ...