《Nello & Pastrache ~2nd~ :: (Another World Story of a WW2 Tank in an LitRPG Transmigration!)》 The Child Meets the Dog in the Fields of Red -- (First_Reunion)
<< ''Travelling Reader'' found a Certain Diary on the road. Would you like to read? >> (A) => YES
:: Dear Diary.....It¡¯s been a while since we last talked. I apologize for being away so long. The last entry was the day my father suddenly left our home. He didn¡¯t have anyting to say, neither did he give a reason. I never understood why he left. He didn¡¯t hurt mother, neither did they argued. He just disappeared. I wanted to share with you how I felt, but mother was beside herself. I thought best I devoted my time in caring for her in her time of grieving. It¡¯s been20 humans years since then. Now, I¡¯m a big girl. I won¡¯t cry anymore like I used to. I¡¯m writing to you today, because I¡¯ve made my first decision since I turned the age that humans called 17 years old (34 yrs). I will head out into the world as an adventurer, and find my father. I think both you and I, want to know why he left as alone. Right?::
<< The Party of Dire Wolves are dead. You are out of Battle. >>
<< You received no Experience Points from Combat. >>
<< Your Health is currently: 4/12 >>
<< You are Bleeding: -0.1 / minute. Please attend to your wounds >>
<< Your Current Status is: Confused >>
¡°B-Big Sis. A-are you hurt? You¡¯re bleeding!¡± ¡°N¡­no I¡¯m fine¡­..But¡­um¡­..What are you? A Golem?¡± ¡°What¡¯s a golem?¡± Once upon a time, in a fantasy world beyond our reach, timespace, and reality, there was this beautiful Elf Girl. As much as she looked like an elf - with knife-shaped pointed ears, elegant features, stunning long legs and fine pale skin - however she wasn¡¯t exactly a High Elf. Neither was the she sub-breed of Wood, Moon, Sun, Night, or even Blood Elf. No, she was a Half-Elf. Her mother a Human. Her father an Elf. Today, after her 34thbirthday, she thought she was old enough to venture out into the world to find some answers she had been waiting for the last20 human years. However, it hadn¡¯t been one hour into her journey from home¡­when a pack of Dire Wolves tried to rape her.
<< Your Blood Pressure is 190/120 above normal. Please calm down. >>
<< Your Current Status: Still Confused, please cast Cure to clear your Mind. >>
¡°P-please don¡¯t be scared. I-I¡¯m not here to hurt you! I-I¡ª¡°
<< WARNING! >>
<< ????? Attacked you with IRON CLUB(weapon_unidentified) >>
<< You were dealt -2 Bludgeoning Damage to your face >>
<< Your Health is: 2 / 12. Please heal yourself >>
¡°Bugyaaah!¡± ¡°Nuwooooh! I-I¡¯m sorry! I-I didn¡¯t mean to hit you with my nose! I-it was an accident! An accident! Dah!¡± ¡°Hmm¡­I-it¡¯s alright¡­I-I can tell you¡¯re sincere¡­ and you helped me to crush the Dire Wolves under your feet. Please, tell me what exactly are you? What is your name?¡± ¡°¡­Uuuuh. I don¡¯t have a name. I only have a production number.¡± ¡°Th-then what is this number your speak off? Where are you from anyways?¡± ¡°Uuuuuh¡­M-my number is T-34-85, Soviet Medium Tank¡­I came from Stalingrad.¡±
<< ??? has introduced himself as T-34-85. Class: ERROR_UNIDENTIFIED. >>
<< Would you like to invite to party? (Y/N) >>
Somehow, on that fateful day when the Half-Elf Girl decided to brave the wilderness and attempt to triumph all obstacles to search for answers she longed to hear¡­ she encountered a friend. It took the form of this giant iron beast that sat in front of her feet while she had fallen on the ground. It was1.30 meter talls, and3 meters wide. From the tip of its head to the bottom its track-like toes, it was covered in nothing but steels, iron bars, and metal bolts. An odd creature with two long legs that resembled the body of a fat caterpillar, wiggling its entire mass in order to move across the ground. To top it off, it had an iron nose of 3.0 meter long. For some reason, it was starting to wave up and down. As if it was frantic. To the Half-Elf girl''s shock, the creature spoke in the voice of a small young boy. ¡°Um¡­Do-do you need help standing up? Here, you can grab my nose.¡± ¡°W-won¡¯t it hurt you?¡± ¡°N-no. The people who use me have to shoot armor piercing shells every minute so my nose is used to being in rough shape. It¡¯s okay, go ahead.¡±
<< T-34-85 uses ROLLING STOMP(???) on DireWolf_Lv.1. >>
<< Dealth -999 Crushing Damage. Enemy Status: Prone. T-34-85 has advantage. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ Mightiest Avenger ~ Deal over 100 points worth of damage to enemy with exactly 1 HP left. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
"H-heh? U-Um. Big Sis, wh-what was that squishing sound? D-did you hear a whining too?" "...The...Dire Wolves you rolled over... one was still alive under your leg, but when you moved... it''s dead now." "...Ah...I-I''m sorry. I-I didn''t mean to run o-over your pet! I-I, I''m very sorry, I-I didn''t mean to¡ª" "N-no! D-don''t worry. Th-these Dire Wolves aren''t my pets they... they attacked me, so you''re in the right. I''m very grateful that you saved me. Er...You''re very nice for a golem." ¡°Uuh. I-I don¡¯t think I¡¯m a golem, but, but thank you.¡± The creature truly was a Tank that had somehow transmigrated from the heart of the Second World War and had arrived in this new world of fantasy and magic. It lowered its 3 meter barrel down at a steep angle. Normally the gunner would never do such a thing, as the angle was only enough for him to shoot about 30 inches in front of its tank treads. But it was enough to lower itself to the point where it reached down to the level of the Half-Elf Girl, who had fallen onto her round butt. It was like offering a hand to help her stand. "It''s okay, Big Sis. I haven''t used my nose to shoot at the Germans yet, so it''s not super hot. It''s perfectly safe!" "........Th...thank you so much."
<< T-34-85 offered to help you in your time of need >>
<< Your relationship with target has increased by 5% >>
After a small hesitation, the Half-Elf Girl accepted the Tank''s offer. With its hydraulics, it provided support for her shaking knees to help her to stand back to full height. It still kept itself at a lower enough angle, to act as a temporary railing for her in ace she still felt weak in her legs. Somehow, this action alone was enough to make her smile. "You''re, very big." "H-heh? A-am I really that fat too you? Sob. Maybe because my mechanics were rushing to finish me so I could deploy, they didn''t bother in shaving off my excess tonnage. Sob." The Half-Elf Girl didn''t know what a tank was, or what could it do. She wasn''t from a world were war relied on bullets, artillery, and modernizing warfare. However, she could tell by the design alone that it was meant to be an intimidating craft that can crush over rocks, run over trees, and even hammer the true definition of fear into the hearts of its enemies... ...Or, run over a pack of Dire Wolves as if they were toads to a carriage''s wheel. The track like legs were highly effective in crushing through the dense flesh and bones of the beasts that had ambushed the Half-Elf Girl. As much as it was a gruesome sight that made her stomach flip, she felt little to no remorse to the contrted face of the beasts that nearly violated her body. ¡°¡­Hey, hey. Who taught you how to fight, little golem?¡± ¡°Uuuuh¡­To be honest, I don''t know. I guess whoever built me taught me how to fight like my brothers. Natural instincts, not sure really? The only thing I keep hearing while on the battlefield, was ''There is no more land behind the Volga!'' ''There is no more land behind the Volga!''... I don''t know what that meant, b-but it scared me. So I fought as hard as I could...but I guess it wasn''t good enough." As if to show how upset it was from the thought, theT-34 SovietTank lowered its barrel. A child sagging his shoulders. Not sure how to best comfort this iron behemoth, the Half-Elf reached out a hand to pat it on the front of the armor. The barrel lifted up a big, it¡¯s spirits raised. ¡°B-but, I¡¯m glad you¡¯re okay, Big Sister. I heard you calling for help an-and I quickly came over. S-sorry about making a mess though.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°Wh-what? D-did I say something bad? O-oh please don¡¯t scrap me!¡± ¡°N-no. It¡¯s not that¡­ There was a group of adventurers around my age who came across me when I was running away from the Dire Wolves. When the beast pounced on me and tried to violate me, I called for them to help me¡­ I didn''t expect them to turn a blind eye to me. I think their rogue even tried to steal my bag, but the Dire Wolves scared him off with his friends.. Yet, it was a golem like you who came to my rescue. I''m very grateful for what you''ve done for me." ¡°Phew. I¡¯m glad Big Sis is alright. I was really scared. Afterthe scary stuff in Stalingrad, I really don''t want any more innocent people to die. I want to protect them!" ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re a very kind golem... although, a bit odd.¡± ¡°Like I said, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m a golem. People keep calling me a beast, but I think the right word is Tank.¡± ¡°¡­Tank¡­That¡¯s an strange sound. Is that your name?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want it to be my name. It sounds like something you would call a German Shephard... Uuuh. German Tanks are scary, e-especially the Tiger ones. They''re very mean when they see you. I-I don''t want a scary name." "Hmm." The Half-Elf girl touched her chin, not at all noticing the blood splattered from the crushing of the Dire Wolves on her hands and cheeks. After giving it a thorough thought, she tapped a small fist into her red-stained hand. ¡°I know! How about, Nello. Would you like that as a name?¡± "Nello?" TheT-34Tank dipped its nose down, as if to get a better look at her. It was exactly how one''s grandfather would look over their glasses to look at your properly. ¡°¡­I think so. Um. Yes, I-I like it. Nello. Nn. Um, what¡¯s your name Big Sis?¡± ¡°Pastrache. My name is Pastrache Mooneye.¡± "................" "Wh-what? I-is something the matter? D-did I spoke to fast for you to hear?" "N-no, it''s not that but...Isn''t that a boy''s name?"
<< You used SIMPLE KICK on T-34 (New Name Assigned: Nello) >>
<>
<< You dealt -1 Recoil Damage to yourself. Your Health is now: 1/12. Please heal, now >>
<< WARNING!: Your Foot is Broken, please see a Physician >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ You Kicked a Tank? ~ You kicked a tank in frustration. Are you that stupid?
In commeoration of their new union (reunion, the beautiful Half-Elf Girl sealed their friendship with a lovely drop kick in between the Soviet Tank''s caterpillar tracks.The sound of toes popping echoed in the small forest of this brand new world. ¡°GUBYAAAGGH! N-NOT THERE, BIG SIS! TH-THAT¡¯S WHERE THE GERMAN TIGER TANK PUNCHED ME WITH HER HIGH IMPACT SHELL BEFORE I CAME HERE! I-IT STILL HURTS!¡± "DON''T MAKE FUN OF MY NAME! EVEN NOW,I STILL DON''T UNDERSTAND WHY MOTHER GAVE THAT''S DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE WITHOUT BITING MY TONGUE! I WAS A LAUGHING STOCK DURING MY ENTIRE ELEMENTARY YEAAAAAAAAAR!" And so begins the recinarnation story of A Dog of Flanders in a LitRPG setting. Feel free to laugh (don¡¯t cry).
<< Congratulations!!: Nello the (CLASS_UNIDENTIFIED) has joined your party! >>
Recovering Memories that Should be Buried, but Never Forgotten -- (Second_Relapse) :: Dear Diary.....I always wanted a friend ever snce father left home. However, I never thought I would become companions with a golem. Wait, no. he doesn¡¯t like to be called that. Also, golems have no intelligence, they are merely magical construct built from natural elements that could only take simple instructions. No, Nello calls himself a Tank. I¡¯ve never heard of this type of creature before. It¡¯s nothing like a gryphon, and it resembles a baby dragon in some ways. I can¡¯t tell for sure. His nose is long, almost like an oliphant only it is always straight. If you tried to bend it, I think it will hurt him. ::
<< Weather Report: >> Morning Sunny with Afternoon Clouds Temperature ---10 Degrees C Precipitation --- 61% Humidity --- 94% Wind --- 12 kph --- Warning :: Slight Chance of Rain
¡°Nello. Tell me about your hometown. It¡¯s called Stalingard yes?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Um.¡± It was a river bank. The span of water was about 30 meters wide, enough for about four lanes of cars to pass on through should it have been a road I nthe first place. The water was flowing steadily to the north, up towards the valley across the river. Over yonder, there were several farmlands that raised Minotaur like regular cattle. From a distance, they look very happy (#FreeRoomAndBoard). The Half Elf named Pastrache could see them. If it weren¡¯t for the fact she was sitting on a heightened platform, there was no way she could see over the tall shrubs that walled the other side of the river. If she were on the ground, her line of sight would surely become obscured. Like a child staring at a blank wall. It was all thanks to her new friend, the T-34 Soviet Tank, Nello. While she capped her eyebrow to see under the bright sun and surveyed the bountiful farms ahead, the tank she sat on spoke up in the voice of a small boy who was unsure of the world outside his home. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to best describe it, where I came from..¡± ¡°Oh you don¡¯t remember how it looks? Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ve come across many adventurers when I was young who were reincarnated from another world. Often times, the transmigration process would blur their memories of their past.¡± ¡°N-no. It¡¯s not that um¡­I don¡¯t know how to say it, without making you really sad.¡± ¡°Nello?¡± ¡°Stalingrad is a city full of rubble. I think it used to be tall buildings, but I haven¡¯t seen one stand higher than my head. Maybe, it could be the war I was born into that caused the damages.¡± ¡°¡­War?¡± ¡°Y-yes. I was born from theStalingrad Tractor Plant, where I think most of my parts were gathered from different manufacturing plants in Leningrad and the electric components from Moscow. I was then deployed withmy other tanks brothers to the Eastern Front. "..." "Hmm. Stalingrad was being invaded by the German Tank divisions. They were supposed to be our allies when they suddenly broke the WarsawPact and started to charge our homes. Most of my older brothers were taken by surprise. When we lost out first defenses, it was up to use new tanks to reinforce the lines." ¡°You¡­were really born in the middle of a war? Even fought in it?¡± ¡°I think so. Or, people were so angry with each other they thought using us tanks to settle a month long argument was a good choice. I don''t know. The first time I woke up, I was already ordered to push the German tanks away from our city... Uuuh. Those Tiger Tanks are still scary to think about. Uuuh.¡±
<< Nello is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. >>
<< Nello was dealt -1 Psychic Damage. >>
¡°¡­Nello, it''s alright. You don''t have to think about it anymore. You''re safe.¡±
<< You used SIMPLE HEAD PAT on Nello >>
<< Nello''s Mental Status has been healed by 3 points. Maximum Psyche >>
"Uwaaah. Thank you Big Sis. You''re so nice to me. Sniff." "It''s fine. Please don''t worry about it..." The Half-Elf soon fell silent, even her own hand that capped the light from her eyes had fallen from her forehead. She was no longer in the mood to see Minotaurs grazing, or bumping into each other to suggest a mating call. She wasn¡¯t even in the mood to watch the array of BuccanneerSalmon that were leaping up the river, against the stream, waving their Jolly-Roger color tails around.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. Their bodies glimmered under the thin waters, their tails vigooriously beating to propel itself forward. They would leap, dive, swim, and leap again just so they could become closer to the point where they will spawn the next generation, and die. Like most salmons do. ¡°¡­It must be terrible. To be raised in the middle of a war.¡± ¡°Yeah. Sometimes my brothers were mean to me even when we¡¯re being produced. But the German Tanks were super scary. Three of them ganged up on me and start kicking and punching me into the ground. When they struck me on the head with a cannon shell, I blacked out.¡± ¡°¡­Then¡­ that means you died. This would also mean you¡¯ve been given a second chance by the Goddes of Rebirth! Right?¡± ¡°Goddess? What¡¯s that?¡±
<< You were sticken by the SOUND OF SILENCE. >>
<< You received -1 Psyche Damage. Your Status is: Socially Stunned >>
¡°Y-you don¡¯t know wh-what a Goddess is? But that''s strange, most people who came from your world would...Oh...oh right. I understand now. You''re a machine, so you may not be able to understand what a holy spirit is?" "...Spirit?...GEH!? IS A GODDESS A GHOST! I-I DON''T LIKE GHOSTS! TH-THEY, I CAN''T SHOOT THEM LIKE A TIGER TANK!" "Wait! No! B-breathe, Nello! Breathe! A Goddess isn''t a ghost!She is a divine being who watches over us, a god so to speak only she is a woman. There are many gods and goddess who watch over the virtues and ideals of our world. For example, there is Odessey, the Goddess of Rebirth and New Life.¡± ¡°¡­Oh! I remember now! When I woke up after the German tanks knocked me out, I met this beautiful lady with scary eyes!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­B¡­beautiful lady with scary eyes?¡±
<< Goddess of Rebirth received -1 Psychic Damage >> << Her status is:P*ssed >>
¡°Yeah, yeah. She had this nice soft lofty hair, a wonderful silver dress that makes her look like a diamond, but her eyes were very sharp. They felt coldered than the winter in Stalingrad.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Yeah. That sounds like Lady Odessey alright.¡±
<< Goddess of Rebirth received -2 Bonus Psychic Damage. >> << Her status is: Super p*ssed off >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Divine Bully ~ You made a Goddess cry,you jerk!!
Pastrache gave a sigh at that comment as she hung her head, quietly pushing aside the many mystical warning screens away from hereyes. She started to swing her long legs back and forth over the side of the armored tank track she sat upon. Even though her friend was a machine, she found many useful things from her time with him. Essentially, he was a sort of wagon that was able to carry about five to six people. The space inside of his body was lofty, although there were many foreign instruements she had trouble understanding. Not to mention, they were inscribed in an archaic language she could not decipher. If only she knew how to read and speak Russian, maybe then she could fully utilize the equiptment installed inside of the Soviet Tank. Inside, yhere were several seats, one dedicated for the gunner, the commander, the driver, and two more one for the radio operator and one for the machine gunner. Meaning, should Pastrache ever have to camp outside or if it began to rain, she could hide inside Nello¡¯s belly, all warm and safe. As a bonus, due to his45 mm armor it could block out an ambush or small army of goblins from attacking her when she slept. ¡°Say, Nello.¡± ¡°Yes?¡±
<< Nello struck you with76 mmTANK GUN. >>
<< You were dealt -2 Bludgeoning Damage to the face. >>
<< You are Prone. >>
¡°BUGYAFFFFFG!?¡± ¡°A-ah! S-sorry, Big Sis! I-I didn¡¯t mean to hit you in th head again! M-my nose is too long!¡± The turret of the tank had suddenly spun around when the Half-Elf called for his name. It was as simple as turning one¡¯s head to the speaker. However, he forgot the barrel was exactly 3 meters long. It was too easy for him tostrike the Half-Elf girl in the cute nose. Ouch. ¡°¡­O¡­oh no¡­ I-I think you broke it¡­Uuuh. Y-you smashed in my nose! M-my face is ruined! T-take responsiiity for my body, Nello!¡±
<< Nello''s heart rate is: 0 beats per minutes. >>
<< Please use CPR to resuscitate party member. >>
¡°NYAAAAAAAAAH! I-I¡¯M SORRY! I¡¯M SUPER SORRY, BIG SIS! I-I DIDN¡¯T MEAN TO SLAP OUR NOSE INTOYOURHEAD! I-IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HONEST! D-DON¡¯T SCRAP ME! DON¡¯T SCRAP ME! I-I DON¡¯T WANT TO GO TO BEHIND THE VOLGA! I-I PROMISE TO MARRY YOU IF¡ª¡° ¡°Just kidding. Bleeeeh (XP).¡± ¡°THAT¡¯S TOO MEAN, BIG SIS! M-MY ENGINE WAS SKIPPING ONE TOO MANY BEATS!¡± The Soviet tank had been waving around its barrel in panic, as if trying to throw its arms around to find a solution for hitting a girl by accident. When he found out that t was all a maidenly ruse, he could hear nothing but stich-cramping laughter. Even though the day soon darkened to give way to rain clouds, the Half-Elf continued to relish in her hysteria, rolling around the tank body while cutching her sides. With the fact she rolled off and fell into a puddle of mud, she still continued her gidy nature. ¡°BRRBRB! PA-HA-HA-HA! Y-you should have seen the reaction on your face, Nello! I-it was priceless!¡± ¡°BIG SIS! PLEASE S-STOP LAUGHING, OR YOU¡¯LL END UP DROWNING!¡±
<< WARNING. Your exterior is contaminated by 99%. You need to be cleaned. >>
Ask a Dog to Sit, and they will Cry -- (Third_Registry) :: Dear Diary..... Nello is a sweet boy, or tank. I don¡¯t know which is proper to call him. Anyway, he has been in my party since we first met few days ago. Whenever I was in trouble, he would be the first one to come to my side. When I was a child, my mother would always say she would move heaven and earth to make sure I was happy. Now, Nello was trampling over trees, rocks, and the occasional lecherous orcs that try to grab my skirt. He¡¯s very helpful, and kind. I wonder, if he¡¯s really a boy. Maybe, I should reward him by dating him. Ha-ha-ha. Sorry diary, that was a bad joke. ::
<< You have Discovered the Capital City of Londonbabi. Location recorded onto map. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ I''m Going on an Adventure! ~ Explored a new area in the world other than your home village. Born to be Wild.
¡°Okay Nello. Stay here. I¡¯m just going to register my name into the Adventurer¡¯s Guild.¡± ¡°H-heh. Wh-why can¡¯t I come with you? I-is it because I¡¯m too fat for the narrow wooden gate or what?¡± ¡°¡­No. I just don¡¯t have enough money to pay for replacing that small wooden gate.¡± The tank called Nello was unhappy. It was hard to tell ifhe truly was experiencing such emotion, as he had no face to work with. Even if there was one animated across the side of his armored body, it would be downright creepy as h*ll. This wasn''t as convemient as a certain blue engine who was designed to ''have'' a face to begin with (#ThomasEngine). So the best way to display his feelings, was how his 3 meter long gun barrel would droop to the ground. Like a lonely and wilting flower. A certain Half-Elf girl reached out to pat his limp barrel with a smile. ¡°I won¡¯t be long. In order for me to level up and achieve money from the fights we get into, I have to register my name into their billing system.¡± ¡°Is it really necessary?¡± ¡°Even if you don¡¯t need to eat, I still need to eat. Not to be rude, but my biology is different than yours, Nello.¡± ¡°Oh. I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t think about that, Big Sis.¡± ¡°Its okay. Don¡¯t cry.¡±
<< You successful persuaded Nello to avoid destroying the gate. >>
<< You gained +10 Experience points. Suggest you invest in your Charisma. >>
<< You acquired Skill: Professional Negotiator Lv.1 >>
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Pastrache ignored the mystical messages that popped up into her face and smiled. She couldn''t resist reaching out a small hand to stroke at the end of the Soviet Tank''s 76 mm barrel. She beamed even more when the said barrel was lifted up, as if she helped a puppy to recover from depression.If the T-34 had a tail, it would be wagging at full speed. ¡°But will you be okay, Big Sis? I mean¡­ There¡¯s a lot of people inside. Scary people¡­ almost as scary as a German Tiger tank¡­.Uuuugh.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t think about bad things, Nello. In order to survive a long adventure, you need to be positive and always be hopeful. Now, be good and stay put. Keep yourself hidden in the forest. As much as I would like to take you along with me and show you around the city, people would get scared. Also, we keep forgetting to wash off the Dire Wolf, Orc, and Goblin guts from your tracks. That will definitely add bonus Intimidation points to you, and we don''t want that.¡± ¡°Yes, Big Sis. I understand! I''ll work hard and wait right here...Ah, now that you mention it, I think I do need a shower. I don''t like the sticky feeling the dogs and the green men left on my tracks. It''s disgusting. And I''m too scared to walk into the river. My tank brothers once march over the stream but got stop and sunk half-way into the river bed. Their crew left them alone, and all I could see was just their noses sticking out... uuuwaaah...I''m scared now Big Sis." "Th-think positive, Nello! Have you already forgotten what I taught you!?" "...Sorry, Big Sis...I failed you...Sniff." Once again, the 3 meter barrel fell to the ground as if wanting to shoot a cockroach. Pastrache could only sigh, before she patted the iron beast on the nose again. ¡°Uuuush. Uuuush. I will be back within an hour. So please be patient. If I have time, I¡¯ll get you a souvenir from the city.¡± ¡°Oh! Okay!¡±
<< You made a Pact with Nello. He will wait for you outside of city in exchange for a Souvenir.>>
<< Your relationship with Nello has increased by 5%. You are now Friends with Benefits. >>
"Pffffffffft!?" "Heh? Big Sis? What''s the matter? You made a wierd sneeze? Are you okay? And your ears are really red." "Cough. Y-yes, N-Nello. I am fine. J-just... just disappointed in the accuracy of a certain notification system that is highly useless!" "...Who me?" "No, Nello. I love you." "Uwaaaah. Big Sis is so nice." Shoving aside unnecessary mystical screens from her face, Pastrache watched as the Soviet Tank with the voice of a child wave at her with its barrel as a form of good-bye. She returned the gesture, mentally closing any useless screens that were automatically explained to her details of what ''Friends with Benefits'' represented. Soon, she was walking past the narrow wooden gates and into the city. The last thing the tank saw of her from its hiding spot, was her hips waving left and right before the gates slammed shut on her cute @ss. He may not have heard it, but there was this small squeak behind those doors.
<< You were sexually assaulted by CITY GATES. Would you like to report? (Y/N) >> (A) => YES! (A) => YES! (A) => YES! (A) => YES! (A) => YES! (A) => YES! ...
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Is Big Sis back yet?¡± Nyet. It hasn¡¯t been 10 seconds. Please waite a little longer, tovarich (friend). "Uguu...So lonely..." The Boy Sets up a Character Sheet for Him and his Dog - (Fourth_Surprises) :: Dear Diary..... The city life in this place is very rough. I always expected it to be cramped, but I never knew it would also come with this awkward smell. It is like the air couldn¡¯t decide whether to carry the scent of fresh bread, heavenly spices, exotic women¡¯s perfume, or men refusing to shower after months. I almost vomited one time, but you won¡¯t tell anyone about it, right? Of course not. In the end, I have completed the first step in my journey. I¡¯ve signed my name into the Adventuring Registry, I am now an official Adventurer. Praise me! ::
Name: ---- PASTRACHE MOONEYE Gender: -- FEMALE Age: ------ CLASSIFIED INFORMATION
====== LEVEL: 1 CLASS: (Please reach Level 5 to select your class) RANK: Adventurer, Novice Rank 1 STATS:
STRENGTH?? 8
DEXTERITY 12
PHYSIQUE 10
INTELLIGENCE 7
WISDOM 7
CHARISMA 11
SKILLS:
Professional Negotiator Lv. 1
Housewife Level. 1 (Inherited Skill)
¡°Look at this Nello! Isn¡¯t my Character Card very fancy? Praise me!¡± ¡°Uwoooooh! B-Big Sis is a Legendary Hero now! Oooohhh! I-it even had this rainbow shine to it!¡± Pastrache was happy today. Not only did she get a new bodyguard¡ªEr, tank friend, she acquired herself a fullfledged Adventuring License! Now she can kill any monster she wanted and get paid for it! Oh joy! Also, as she was the 150th Registry in the Guild, she was given a special Prism-hue to her ethereal screen. To show how proud of her luck she was, she kept opening and closing her character screen card in front of the tank, as if playing wih magical fireworks to celebrate this occassion. ¡°Fu-fu-fu. Isn¡¯t it pretty Nello? Now everyone will think I¡¯m a super top-dog warrior in the guild, even when I¡¯m a Level 1 traveller!¡± ¡°Oooooh! Th-that¡¯s amazing Big Sis! You¡¯re really a cool hero now! Hey, hey, how can you open that pretty screen? I want to try! I want to try!¡± ¡°Sure! Just wave your hand!¡± The Soviet T-34 raised its3 meter long 76 mm M1940 F-34 tank gun up and down...
.........
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.. What next?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± Somehow, that simple action dawned a sense of realization to the Half-Elf Girl. Tanks don''t have hands. She felt stupid for even suggesting that.
<< You used HAND SLAP to your forehead. >>
<< You dealt -1 Psychic Damage to yourself. Please calm down. >>
--- << __ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ Tactical Face Palm ~ Your Intelligence decreased by one Level because you did something stupid.
"I don''t know why, but I feel p*ssed off and my head hurts now." ¡°¡­What do I do Big Sis?¡± ¡°Wait. Wait. I-I think I¡¯m recalling something from the nice lady with glasses who works as the guild clerk...what was it¡­Um¡­Oh right. O-Open Sesame!¡± The original command phrase was ¡®Open Status¡¯ or ¡®Open Character Card¡¯. Maybe it sounded creative and fancy at the same time compared to the usualmethod, let¡¯s just accept that.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ Saving Grace ~ Your creativity has allowed you to recover face. Your Intelligence goes up by one Level. ---
<< Notification: Nello has opened his Character Card. You have no access to data. >>
¡°OH! SOMETHING POPPED OPEN IN FRONT OF ME, BIG SIS!................ but, I can¡¯t read it¡­ I think it¡¯s in English...or Japanese, I don''t know.¡± ¡°Oh? You don¡¯t know how to read Common?¡± ¡°¡­I can only read Russian.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t know what language was that. If she thought about the markings she found inside of Nello¡¯s belly, then that could be it. Either way, she had no clue what the language could be translated to. ¡°¡­H-here. I¡¯ll read it for you.¡± The Half-Elf reached out her hand. She used some overriding command text through a holographic symbol board, something the nice lady with glasses back at the guild taught her to do. This only works if she was in a party and had consent to manage another¡¯s files. Otherwise, she would have been locked out by internal ethereal security measures..If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡­Well since Nellow the tank didn¡¯t have any way of checking his own status, that sounds like consent to her.
<< You are about to access Nello''s Profile. Would you like to continue? (Y/N) >> (A) => YES
<< Accessing Nello''s Private Partitioned Database Folder.............68% >>
¡°Hmmm¡­B-Big Sis is¡­ t-touching in weird places¡ªAaahn.¡± ¡°Sssssssh. Nello. Keep quiet, I¡¯m trying to focus.¡± At this point in time, the Half-Elf Girl was struggling to bring up the right overriding command keys in order to gain access to her party member¡¯s private partitioned data. As she pressed the different numbers on the holographic console, the barrel of the T-34 Soviet Tank kept fidgeting left and right. ¡°I¡­I can¡¯t¡­aaah. B-Big Sis, n-no not there!¡±
<< You have successfully entered into Nello''s Pivate Partitioned Database Folder. >>
<< Releasing Files. Please stand by, uploading to your screen for viewing.......COMPLETE. >>
¡°There! I¡¯ve finally finished with the configurations. I now have full acess to your information, Nello!¡± ¡°Oh thank the Tsar! Y-you¡¯re done!¡± The T-34 Tank let out the sound that resembled a young boy sighing from a dangerous situation. It turned its turret head as to look at the Half-Elf, lowing it¡¯s barrel to look at what the girl was reading before her face. ¡°¡­Nello. Your nose is blocking my eyes. I can¡¯t read your Character Card.¡± ¡°A-ah. Sorry Big Sis.¡± Realizing his folley, the Soviet tank quickly turned the angle of its barrel up to the sky. It might not be able to see, but at least he didn¡¯t have to worry about hitting Pastrache any more across her fragile head. ¡°What do you see, Big Sis? Is it really bad? I guess that¡¯s true, I was put into battle right after the mechanics put the last rivet into my body. The Germans were invading Stalingard really hard and they needed everyone on the field. I guess my Character Card looks ugly because I didn''t last five days after I was deployed.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­B-Big Sis? Is it that bad? I¡¯m sorry. I tried to fight the German Tanks, but they¡¯re really tough. I shoot one in the face six times and nothing would happen.She even ripped my legs off with only one shot! It wasn¡¯t a fair fight!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± Pastrache had this look on her face that was very difficult to read. It was a mixture of astonishment, bewilderment, with a dash of confusion painted across her face. The expression she made was equivalent to a painting made by the hands of Rembrandt himself.
Name: ---- T-34-85 ''NELLO'' Gender: -- ??????? Age: ------ 5 Days Old
====== LEVEL:50 CLASS:Soviet_Medium_Tank (Custom Class) RANK:Red Army Armed Forces, Level 1 (Private, Non-Commissioned) STATS:
STRENGTH?? 999
DEXTERITY 100
PHYSIQUE 9999
INTELLIGENCE 10
WISDOM 1
CHARISMA -2
SKILLS:
Combat Tank Lv. 20
Heavy Armor Lv 100 (MAXED)
Soldier of the Red Army Lv. 10
Panzer Tank Killer Lv. 30
Armor Piercing Round Lv. 70
High Impact Round Lv. 60
High VelocityIncendiary Round Lv. 30
Machine Gunner Lv 45
[ Click to expand ]
MILITARY ACHIEVEMENTS
--- Order of the Red Star (For exceptional service in defending the Soviet Union at war. Battle of Stalingrad.)
--- Order of Bogdan Khimelnitsky (For Privates of Red Army showing greatresource in victory. Battle of Stalingrad.)
--- Ushakov Medal (For Red Army soldiers showing courage in military operations. Battle of Stalingrad.)
--- Medal for the Defence of Stalingrad (July 12 - November 19, 1942)
--- Purple Heart (x55) (July 13 - July 18, 1942)
[ Click to expand ]
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Auuah.¡± ¡°¡­How is it Big Sis? It¡¯s really that that bad huh?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.It¡¯s alright, Nello. Everyone starts at level one here. So we¡¯ll¡­ we''ll work hard together to reach the top.¡± ¡°Nn. Okay, I¡¯ll do my best.¡± That portrait of a certain Half-Elf Maiden, also had a hint of jealous brushed across her eyes and brow. Realizing how important her relationship with a talking tank was, she left the conversation on a flat note. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s¡­ get something to eat. Yes.¡± ¡°¡­But Big Sis¡­I don¡¯t have a mouth. A-and I need gasoline to run my engines.¡± ¡°(Ratfink Showoff)¡± ¡°H-heh? D-did you say something. I couldn¡¯t hear you.¡± ¡°I feel bad for Nello. That¡¯s what I said.¡± ¡°Uwaaaah. Big Sis is so kind to me.¡± Indeed, the Half-Elf Girl left the conversation there¡­ to save face.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED__ >> ~ Straight Face Liar ~ You gave a child false hope about his future. Shame on you. ---
<< You gained +100 EXP from Persuasion Checks >> << Conrgatulations! Professional Negotiator Skill is now Level 2 >>
Sometimes, the Best Blanket is the Fur of a Dog...Or, 10 Puppies...Pugs are okay -- (Fifth_Night) :: Dear Diary...... The city here is busy during the day, however it¡¯s suddenly quiet when night falls. I wonder if there is a strict curfew for the citizens here. I guess that¡¯s a good thing. The last thing anyone wanted were drunken men wandering in the streets, p*ssing over various territories as if they were wolves, and not to mention women shouldn¡¯t be out and about at night. Not all men want to be violated by a frustrated woman. ::
<< WARNING: It is nightfall. Please find shelter! >>
¡°I-I¡¯m sorry, Nello. That I have to borrow your stomach.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. You can sleep inside my tummy whenever you like, Big Sis.¡± As much as a certain Half-Elf wanted to sleep within the city walls and lie down on a soft warm bed, she couldn¡¯t. First off, she didn¡¯t have the money. Rather, it was the tourist season the hotels, inns, and taverns were ridiculously expensive. It was to the point where a King would waste half of his wealth if he stayed more than three days and two nights. Of course, there is a whole discount system but only people familiar with this field knew how to play the game and keep gold in their pockets. Even if there were some places where she could afford, there really was a strict curfew. All inn managers would reject anyone entering past the 8th hour into the evening. There were even advneturers who were dragging their half-dead brethren to the gate and they were turned away. Come back tomorrow at 7 in the morning. So, Half-Elf Pastrache had no choice but to sleep outside of the castle wall that night. Until she could find suitable lodging at an affordable price, and match the deadline of the curfew, she would have to camp outin the forest. A lonely young and beautiful girl left in the open for wolves and other critters to play with. ¡­As much as one would start fantasizing about potential scenes and positions ¨C it had to stop here. Because she had backup. ¡°Wow. Nello. I thought your insides were big, but it¡¯s actually quite spacious. I mean, I could roll around across the floor four times!¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m happy that you feel comfortable inside of my belly, Big Sis. B-but could you, t-try not to move around th-that much. I-I never noticed when I¡¯m fighting German Tanks when the driver and gunner step on my guts, b-but now that it¡¯s peaceful and quiet, y-your feet tickle.¡± ¡°Oh. I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll take off my boots.¡± ¡°HEH!? Y-You didn¡¯t take them off! N-now my stomach will be full of mud!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m not exactly a mage, but my mother taught me the Presdigitiation Spell. It allows me to leave colored marks made from magic on any surface, create a small spark of light like a pack of fireworks, and helps me to clean things without ever having to use a towel. It¡¯s very convenient.¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t understand what magic is or how it works, b-but please always keep your boots off before you come inside my stomach!¡± ¡°Yes. I promise.¡±
<< You made a Pact with Nello. Take your boots off whenever you climb inside of him. >>
From the outside, Pastrache could be seen popping her head out from the top of the tank''s turret, through the steel lid that covered the entrance. With half of her body sticking out from the Soviet Tank, she was surrounded by tall trees that provided cover for the 26.5 ton tank in the middle of the forest.It kept both of them out of sight from the nearest sentry tower across the city that was in the distance. The Half-Elf fidgeted across the open turret door, her hands working something under the surface with her tongue sticking out. She then nodded as she pulled up a pair of elegant leather boots from underneath and rested them across the outside plates of the tank. Despite the recent rain shower, the soles of her footwear were surprisingly cleaned, spotless even. As if sanitized by magic. As an Adventurer in a dangerous world, it would be important to keep her boots on in case of an ambush or if she were to be pursued by bandits she couldn''t defeat. However, she realized she was essentially going to be staying inside a friend''s home, so it was best she respected Nello''s request and kept her boots outside.
<< You unintentionally attacked Nello with BARE TOES. >>
<< You dealt -0.000000000000001 Bludgeoning Damage and -1 Psychic Damage. >>
¡°Guuuh!¡± ¡°Heh? S-something wrong, Nello?¡± ¡°N-no. I-it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s just that¡­ Big Sister¡¯s toes and legs are surprisingly soft.¡± ¡°HOLY SH*T! D-DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF MAGICAL SENSOR INSIDE?¡± ¡°¡­..No¡­But¡­ you feel very warm in my belly. And you smell nice, like flowers.¡± ¡°O-oh¡­..Um¡­Thank you.¡±
<< Nello unintentionally used SMOOTH TALK on you. It''s super effective >>
<< You were dealt -99 Emotional Damages. Please seek out counselling. >>
Pastrache turned red as she punched the [x] button on the mystical screen that blinked at her. She wondered if those words alone truly triggered something in her lonely heart, or if it was the fact the tank had been running his engines for a while. It seems Nello had been keeping his engine active, in order to increase the internal temperature inside of the crew quarters. It wasn''t boiling hot, but it wasn''t lukewarm. It was just right, like the thermostat in a winter lodge. All thanks to the Soviet Tank''s Model V-2-34, 38.8 L, V12 Diesel Engine, capable of producing 500 HP. Due to the size being no more than 2/3 of a bedroom, the heat from the engine quickly built up inside. As it was already turning -10 degrees Celsius outside, it balanced out the peak of the heat to give it a nice and warm sensation. Somehow, Pastrache felt like could just curl up and hibernate like a bear inside given how cozy it was. "Does this mean I have to eat tons of food to store fat in my liver and plug my @ss for the winter?" "Hmm? Did you say something, Big Sis? This raven won''t stop grabbing my nose! Shoo! Shoo!" ¡°Oh no, nothing I...¡­Thank you, Nello. I¡¯m very happy to have met you.¡± ¡°Uwaaah. I-I don¡¯t know why, but hearing Big Sis say that makes me really happy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m honest. You saved me, three times. I think it¡¯s fate that we have a chance to be together. At first, I truly thought you were a monster that wanted to eat me like the Dire Wolves in heat.¡±
<< You dealt -10 Emotional Damage to Nello. Please seek out counselling for your problems. >>
¡°¡­¡­.Uwaaah. I suddenly feel hurt but I don¡¯t have a heart.¡±If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°G-guh! I-I didn¡¯t mean to put it like that, Ne-Nello! I-ignore what I said.¡± ¡°Ah¡­Big Sis doesn¡¯t like me anymore.¡±
<< Nello is suffering from internal conflict >>
<< Your Relationship has decresed by 3%. Apologize. >>
¡°S-Stupid warning screen! D-don¡¯t twist my words so suddenly! N-Nello, listen to me! I-I¡¯m truly grateful that I met you and that¡¯s the simple part of my gesture! Honest!¡± Not sure whether to be mad or apologietic, the Half-Elf started to tap the insides of the tank walls with her bare toes. Somehow, it was enough to calm the yung boy hidden inside of the iron beast right down.
<< You used SIMPLE TOE-RUB on Nello. It was super effective. >>
<< Your relationship with Nello has increased by 15%. He likes this gesture. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! __ >> ~ Belly Scratcher ~ You discovered an Allies Potential''Preferences''
"..........." ¡°Guaaaha¡­Y-you¡¯re feet¡­are starting to touch weird places again.¡± ¡°Ah, sorry. I-I''ll reflect on my actions...Cough.¡± Not wanting to cause any more discomfort than she had, Pastrache tucked in her long and elegant feet under her hips. She would then try to distract herself by looking around. Theinterior of the tank were simple, one eye could see everything. She saw several chairs that were placed in strategic locations, one that commandeered some lever-based controls, one that was attached to the rotating turret head, and two more sitting in front of a series of box-shaped instruments with dials and arrowed meters, as well as one hiding behind this large gun sticking out from the inside of the tank. There was also this large structure in the back, which was vibrating and humming. That was the source of the heat, and she guessed it was the T-34¡¯s engine, to allow him to power his tracks and move at 53kilometers per hour.
<< Uploading Visual Diagram for ''Travelling Reader''... Upload COMPLETE >>
Althought, she wasn¡¯t a mechanical engineer, she had seen something called steam trains. It was a rare form of technology that had been recently developed in her province. They usuallywere connected to between capital cities or chief territories nearin kingdom. She heard it could carry thousands of people inside its worm like stomach and ferry them across lands at high speed. A 30 day trip on foot was cut down to a mere 3 hours, 45 minutes once the bridge crossing over Trepasse Canyon was complete.
<< WARNING: Nello''s fuel supply isreduced by 10%. Please turn off engine if idle. >>
¡°¡­..Hey, Nello. Are you sure you should keep your body on like this? Won¡¯t you, you know, waste fuel?¡± ¡°Yeah, but I could tell it¡¯s really cold outside right now, Big Sis. I can see the frost forming on the leaves near the lake, and the grass turning white. It¡¯s best you stay inside.¡± ¡°What about you? Won¡¯t you be cold?¡± ¡°I¡¯m born in Russia. It¡¯s always cold there, even in the summer. Especially in Stalingrad¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­I-I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to bring up bad memories in you.¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t apologize Big Sis¡­In fact, I¡¯m super happy right now. This beautiful lady with scary eyes told me I could have a second chance and live the life I wanted. She even let me keep my body and not be turned into some monster or something.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°Also¡­I was able to meet you, Big Sis¡­Um, just between you and me. This is the first time I saved a girl! I¡¯m very proud!¡± ¡°A-are there no girls back in Stalingrad?¡± ¡°¡­Um¡­With the Germans Tanks invading, I think the girls in the city ran away¡­ I only saw angry men and tanks everywhere I went¡­In fact, I didn¡¯t even know a girl existed until today.¡± ¡°So¡­does this make me your first?¡± ¡°Yes. Thank you for being a girl, Big Sis.¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ Flying Under the Radar ~ You successfully slipped in an innuendo and your partner didn''t realize it. Kudos.
"................ H-heh!?" "What''s the matter, Big Sis? I-is it too warm inside? "N-no! Cough. I-I''m fine. J-just...I''m fine. (Stupid god-forsaken warning signs!)" After saying those dangerously loaded words, the Half-Elf Girl tried to clear her throat to change the subject. She only ended up choking on her own nervous breath. Her eyes soon became heavy, the warmth inside of the tank fighting the cold already making her drowsy. It was comforting, this heat. Not even the furnace back in her home was this strong during the cruel winters¡­alone while her mother worked the late hours¡­ ¡°¡­¡­Heh? B-Big Sis¡­A-are you crying?¡± ¡°Ah. Y-you noticed my tears. I-I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to dirty your seats.¡± ¡°No, no¡­but¡­ do you want¡­to talk about it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­I¡­don¡¯t think so. I¡¯m probably just tired¡­I should sleep now.¡± ¡°Nn. Please sleep well, Big Sis. I¡¯ll keep watch.¡± ¡°But. Don¡¯t you need to rest, Nello?¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m used to standing guard all night¡­ Besides, I was always too scared to even nod off knowing a German Tiger Tank could rip my head off with a single punch." ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..It must have been hard for you in your previous life. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. If I can protect Big Sis, then I¡¯ll be super proud of myself!¡± Pastrache smiled. Keeping the salty tears from staining the iron, she would tap the walls to gesture that she would go to bed. Fortunately, the tank had showed her a small bag that was hiding under the seat that was in front of sensitive equipments and dials, along with a long thin antennae.
<< You discovered a RED ARMY DUFFEL BAG (LARGE)! >>
---------------------------[ CONTENTS: ]
Flashlight
Water Canteen (Empty)
Signal Flares (x3, Red, Green, Black)
Cigarette Lighter
Combat Knife (Medium Size)
Military Kitchen Set (Pots, Pans, Burner, Matches included)
Think Denim Blanket (x2)
Mosin-Nagant M91 Rifle (30 rounds)
PPSh-41 Submachine Gun (210 Rounds)
Tokarev TT-33 Semi-Automatic Pistol (48 rounds)
There were a lot of items in the bag, but she was tootired to carefully search through it all. The only thing she focused on was this thick blanket rolled inside. She would use it, opening up the blanket to wrap around her body as she curled up in across the driver and co-pilot seat. ¡°¡­Good night Nello. Thank you so much.¡± ¡°Nn. Good night Big sis. Sweet dreams.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.¡± ¡°Wow, Big Sis is fast.¡± Maybe it was intentional, or accidental, but the bare leg of the curled up Pastrache slipped out from the blankets and kicked the wall with her heel.
<< You attacked Nello in your sleep. >>
<< You dealt -0.000000000000001 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< Your relationship with Nello decreased by 1%. >>
"...............................Mmm...Mama...no...I don''t want to go to school and be bullied...Zzzzzzzz." ¡°Guugh! B-Big Sis! Th-that hurts!!¡± A Good Friend Always Lets You Step on their Shoulders with a Smile -- (Sixth_Hunger) :: Dear Diary..... I realized I made a big mistake. I haven¡¯t eaten or drank anything since I travelled all the way from home to the city. I did have the occassional biscuits my mother had prepared, but maybe I was too scared of another pack of wolves wanting me to bear their children, I had lost my appetite. Now, my status reads I¡¯m suffering from Extreme Hunger and Dehydration. My wounds won¡¯t heal over time, and if my water levels drop to zero, I might pass out and die. I can¡¯t have that, I really don¡¯t want to leave poor Nello behind in this cruel world. ::
<< WARNING: Your Hunger Status is at 38%. Auto-Health Regeneration de-activated. >>
<< WARNING: Your Hydration Status is at 30%. Dexterity Temporarily Decrease by 2. >>
<< You use SIT ON at Nello. You dealt -1 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Notification: Nello''s Arousal Level has increased by 10%. Ask him to seek counselling. >>
¡°G-gguuughgg! B-Big Sis is really heavyyyyyyy!¡± ¡°S-stop complaining, Nello! You were able to run over a pack of 6 Dire Wolves, three Orcs, and a pile of Goblins without a second thought, s-so you don¡¯t have the right to question a girl¡¯s body mass!¡± Under the bright and warm sun, spotless from meandering clouds, there was a Half-Elf Girl trying to grab some fruit from a tree. It was impossible, really, because the tree in itself was about 7 meters high. The lowest branch available were at 5 meters height. Despite the fact she was a Half-Elf and was taller than an average human, she was still 5 foot 8 inches (1.7 meters). She would not be able to reach it the same way as grabbing a jar of cookie from the top shelve. Not even if she stood on her tippy toes. There was still a 4 meter gap. So she cooked up a plan. This involved borrowing the shoulders of her friend in her party. Or rather, his iron nose.
<< You used FIDGET on Nello. You dealt -2 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Notification: Nello''s Arousal Level has increased to 15%. Please ask him to seek counselling. >>
¡°Nuwooooh! B-Big Sis! Y-your butt is clenching my face! I-it feels weird!¡± ¡°S-stop making remarks to my @ss! I-it¡¯s not that big, not compared to my mother that is! N-now stop talking and raise me up higher. Come on, Nello! You can do it! Lift me higher!¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m trying, b-but I can¡¯t see if your thighs keep blocking my eyyyyyyes!¡± The T-34 Soviet Tank was Pastrache''s solution in this problem involving physics and civil engineering. He had a large 76.2 mm F-34 Tank Gun, which was exactly 3 meters in length. As it''s essentially capable of shooting 6.5 kg shell at 5 - 10 rounds per minute, it should be capable of lifting a person''s body much like the ladders seen on firetrucks. This wasn''t exactly a rescue mission, to get children, seniors, or even kittensout of burning buildings, but the stakes were the same. If Pastrache doesn''t get any food or water to sate her decreasing stats, her body function would end up failing, at worst go into shock and she would be paralyzed. Oh yes, and let''s not forget about imminent death. No hero or heroine would want to go out like that, isn''t that right? Hence why the lovely Half-Elf Girl could be seen riding on top of the tank barrel as she tried to reach out to grasp at the fruits in the tree. Her warm blossoming thighs clenching the iron between her legs for stability.
<< You used THIGH SQUEEZE on Nello. It''s super effective! >>
<< Nello''s Arousal Level has shot up to 30%. >>
<< Congrulations: You acquired Skill - Profiessional Pole Dancer Lv. 1 >>
"PFFFFFFFT!? SH-SHUT UP YOU STUPID WINDOW SCREEN! D-DON''T MAKE ME SOUND LIKE ASLUT WHO ENJOYS FLAUNTING HER BODY TO THE WRONG PEOPLE!! AND ERASE THAT BONUS FEATURE FROM MY CHARACTER CARD! ERAAAASE!" "Aaaaah! B-Big Sis... d-don''t g-grip my nose s-so tightly... y-you''re legs." "Ssssh! Nello! I almost had the crabpear! Just keep holding me up and stop fidgeting! Th-the more you shake the more you''re nose is hitting me in wierd places!" Plothole. Plothole. Some of you are probably sayin - wait the Charles Dickens she can''t just climb a tank barrel like that. She''ll fall right off, it''s not a fireman ladder. People who post videos on the internet would be going ''I''ve tried it before and it turned into an Epic Fail, sending me to the hospital'', or ''scientifically, her body has zero friction and she''ll fall right off like snail on a grease pipe''. The answer to those small questions was simple.She took this thick stick and tied it to one end of the tank barrel to make a ¡®T¡¯ shape. She crisscrossed the wiring she carried on her person, so that it would not easily slip down if the barrel were to even stand up 90 degrees straight. In otherwords, she made a compromise chair for her cute and loftybutt to sit on as the T-34 Tank rose her up on the barrel ladder. Even with gravity at play, she would not fall off. That was S-M-R-T- smart (f**k!).Stolen story; please report. ¡°Nnnng! I-I¡¯m right at the branch level, b-but you need to turn me more to the left.¡± ¡°O-oh okay!¡± ¡°Wait. Too much! Go back to the right a bit.¡± ¡°R-right! Okay!¡± ¡°N-Nello! N-not too fast! Th-there is no way I could grab any of the crabpears if you swing me around like a merry go round. Gently, slowly, like touching a girl¡¯s body.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Other than my body.¡± ¡°Um¡­I¡­I don¡¯t have hands.¡± ¡°J-just turn gent¡ªLYYYY!¡± ¡°Ah! Sorry, I¡¯m trying by my hydraulics are not listening. A-and I still can¡¯t see where you¡¯re trying to grab!¡± ¡°D-don¡¯t move around so-so hard! N-not when I¡¯m sitting on you like¡ªKYAAAAA!¡± The T-34 misunderstood the next set of direction, or he pressed the wrong internal button, but the barrel of the tank dropped by 10 inches and stopped suddenly. That sensation you get when the plane goes into the first stage of turbulence. ¡°Aaaah¡­Aaauuhggggg...¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry, B-big Sis! I-I didn¡¯t mean to do that. I-I was confused as to whether to go up or to the side.¡± ¡°I¡­it¡¯s fine¡­pant pant¡­J-just¡­just lift me back up, nice and slo¡ªOH GOD?!¡± The Half-Elf gave a squeal when the barrel flipped up. It as at a steep angle, so she had to hug her body close like a cat on a branch. At the same time, the jolt in itself knocked something into Pastrache¡­ particularly, between her legs.
<< WARNING: Your Arousal Level is at 58%. Please ask yourself to seek counselling. >>
¡°G...go away s-stupid m-messaging board...Aaahnn...A¡­Aauuugaag¡­Wh¡­what is¡­this weird feeling? Nnng?.¡± ¡°Hmm? Big Sis? Are yo okay? You¡¯re breathing very hard. A-are you scared of heights?¡± ¡°N¡­no. I¡¯m, pant pant. Fine.¡± ¡°¡­You sure?¡± ¡°L-let¡¯s hurry and get the crabpears b-before my Hunger S-Status reaches a critical point¡­.H-heh? Wh-why is my Hydration Status falling even lower!?¡± ¡°What was that, Big Sis?¡± ¡°Up. Raise me¡ªWait. No, I meant to the right¡ªNYAAAGHHG???!¡±
<< WARNING: Your Arousal Level is at 89%. Please calm down. >>
"Wh-why can''t I t-turn th-this go-god-forsaken n-notification oooooooffnnnnnnggggg?!" The Half-Elf Girl found herself clinging tightly onto the barrel as if a pole, arms and legs wrapped around it intimately. She wasn''t trying to show off her newly acquired skill, rather she was doing everything in her power to not fall down from a 4 meter drop. At this point, she was a cat who couldn''t climb back down. All because the T-34 Soviet Tank accidentally raised the nose of his cannon too high. She was practically balanced at a straight 90 degree angle.Worse, all of her weight was forced down on her body. Every ounce of her internal organ, her sitting mass, and the clenching of her legs around the cannon... wasn''t helping to reduced the ''discomfort'' she experienced between her legs. Ifshe made one bad move, one way or another - her life will be over. ¡°Pant Pant pant¡­Please¡­n¡­no more¡­I¡­I can¡¯t...Aaaahn???¡­..¡± ¡°Hmm? Big Sis? Did you say something?¡± ¡°D¡­don¡¯t¡­Mnn?¡± ¡°Down? O-okay.¡± ¡°Haaah. W-waii¡ªGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!¡± The barrel flopped. Like a plank falling on its face. The sensation of the plane dropping 10 meters worth of freefall could be riding up our legs and body at this point. And just like the second phase of turbulence, your feel your @ss slam back into the chair when it stopped falling.
<< WARNING: Your Arousal Level is now 150% over critical. Purging Excess Energy. >>
¡°KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUuuuugggggggnnnnn?????!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..B¡­Big Sis? A-are you okay?¡± ¡°¡­.A¡­aaaahnnn?.¡± The Half-Elf Girl gave a small sound. It resembled to that of a hamster whining when it had a fever. With a gaping mouth and hard panting breath, the T-34 could see the girl hanging limp over barrel, like a shirt on a cloth line. Her legs gave up gripping the sides and with her arms they dangled. Her body was pressed across the metal, all of her soft parts squished like a lovely balloon. A warm colored expression was painted over her weary face, full of raw and unfiltered emotion thatnot even Rembrandt could capture. ¡°Big Sis? What¡¯s wrong¡­ And why does my nose feel wet?¡± "..............."
<< Your Arousal Level has returned to 0%. You are exhausted from Energy Purge. >>
<< Your Relationship with Nello has increased to 20%. Youare nowPartners (Intimacy+1)>>
<< WARNING: Your Hydration Status is at 18%. Please ingest fluids, now. >>
"...K..kkkkkuuuhhhh--T-take responsibility for what you¡¯ve done to my character status, Nello!¡± ¡°H-heh!? Heh!? Heh!? B-but, but I did as you ask me to!¡± In the end, the T-34 Soviet Tank used the traditional method in trying to acquire the fruit to sate his friend¡¯s hunger and thirst problem. Tying a longer stick to his 3 meter nose like a bayonet, he would turn it left and right through the lower branches in order to knock some of the fruit down. About 15 or so green pears the shape of soft-shelled crabs fell to the ground.
<< You ate 10 hearty CRABPEAR. You gain +10 HP. Maximum Health. >
<< Congratulations! You are no longer Hungry or Thirsty! All Health Bonuses are reactived. >>
<< Your current Emotional Status is: Frustrated. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°B-big Sis. Y-you solved your hunger and thirst p-problem right? Y-you should be fine now, right? S-so why are you still super mad at me!?¡± ¡°¡­ Hmph. Nello is a dummy. *Munch-munch*.¡± ¡°Heh!? Wh-what exactly did I dooooooooooo!?¡± Not able to understand a lovely Half-Elf Girl looking away from him, the T-34 Tank threw up his barrel in frantic surrender. The poor boy inside of its iron body will never understand the heart of women. Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks, to Keep Up with Modern Warfare -- (Seventh_Job) :: Dear Diary.....Now that I am a full-fledged Adventurer, I need to acquire a job. The guild has many offers for me to choose from, conveniently organized by level of difficulty, but I don¡¯t know which one to pick. Also. I hope to get enough money to support my room and board in this city. The prices for even one night is ridiculously expensive. Even if I do seven small jobs that could raise up three digits worth of gold, sleeping on a warm bed for 12 hours without a bathtub included will bankrupt me. So I decided to take the challenge of acquiring a higher level request. Don¡¯t worry, I have Nello to give me backup. Everything is alright in the world. ::
<< QUEST STARTED >> ~Orc Raider Elimination LV 8~
BACKGROUND: A band of Orcs and Goblins have been attacking local settlements for the past few months. Their hideout is located in the Arizona Basin near the Great Lincoln Canyon. Their number in strength is unknown. Available details involved a mixed Melee Orc and Archer Goblin unit, ranging from Level 10 to Level 15 in difficulty. So far, 3 Rookie Teams have been annhilated.
Base Reward for Completion of Mission: ----------------- 1000 GOLD Bonus Reward for Challenging Above Current Level: --- 50 GP Bonus Reward for Capturing at least one Alive: --------- 100 GP
¡°Okay Nello. This is the place. Keep your head down and don¡¯t let the enemy spot you.¡± ¡°Um¡­Big Sis¡­I can¡¯t really duck any further down¡­My body is like this and my neck is only able to turn in around in a full 360 degrees.¡± "Th-then just keep quiet and follow me, okay?" "Y-yes, Big Sis." Pastrache pouted as she buried herself in behind some hedges. She could be found, or presumed to be found, at the edge of a dense forest that was overlooking a large meadow and a mountain about some yards away. The gap from her position to the mountain base wasn¡¯t far. Either a simple 8 minute sprint of brisk15 minute stroll was enough for her to close the gap. However, she decided to wade through the forest, using whatever cover she could touch to keep herself hidden in the forest. Now, she wasn¡¯t a Rogue class mind you. Her power level wasn¡¯t high enough for her to start a Class System, not yet. However growing up as a Half-Breed had its perks in being raised in an environment where she constantly had to hide from the local bullies or Elf-haters. Of course that also came with some emotional baggae in a distorted childhood, but we will get to the counselling some other day. If there were times where she would run out of cover to get a better view of the battlefield she was about to enter, have no fear. She had a 26.5 ton friend crawling on his tracks right behind her. ¡°Alright Nello, walk over there, slowly. Not too loud or your rumbling will bounce off the mountain side and make an echo.¡± ¡°B-Big Sis, it¡¯s super difficult to move without making my motor roar likat that. Th-that¡¯s just how I was built. I-I mean, the German Tanks are super quiet b-but not me. Also, I-I think I scared away that poor rabbit from it''s hole. I feel very bad.¡± ¡°Ssssh. Just, just move up and give me cover.¡± ¡°Y-yes. Big Sis. Sniff. Sorry Mr. Snuffleupagus.¡± Pastrache the Half-Elf girl kept her body stuck to the side of her companion, the T-34 Soviet Medium Tank she called Nello. The vehicle moved on its caterpillar tracks across a gap of land that had no bushes, trees, or boulders to hide behind. Due to his size, the Half-Elf would uses his heavy body as a form of moving cover. Once they crossed the exposure and into the other side of the forest, they took a quiet position that looked over the meadow and the mountain face.
<< You gained +100 EXP. Congratulations, your Stealth Skill increased to Level 2! >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__>> ~Friend, Lend me Your Body~ You used your Party Member as a wall to increase your Stealth Bonus!
¡°Yes, I can see it. The cave where the Orc raiding partyis hiding in. There is no way you can miss the bones and the rotting bodies of previous adventurers piled at the front door like garbage waiting to be picked up." ¡°B-big Sis, this is too scary. We should go back and choose another job. I-I know I¡¯m big, B-but I can still help you search for lost chickens! I-I mean, I can cut them off if they try to escape.¡± ¡°No, no, Nello. You would end up crushing our objective under your tracks. The last thing I want is an angry chicken farmer who watches the ¡®sons and daughters¡¯ he spent years in raising stuck under your feet like road kill.¡± ¡°Ew! Big Sis! Th-that¡¯s disgusting. A-and don¡¯t make me sound like some monster that likes to stomp on things like ants¡­Oh my god! D-did I just step on one!?¡± ¡°No. But you killed a cockroach before it could climb up my leg so you did me a favor. Thank you Nello for saving my maidenly pride.¡± ¡°Gaaaah! I-I¡¯m a terrible persooooooon!¡± The Soviet Tank suddenly whipped up its cannon barrel in dismay, before waving it around in the air and knocking it back and forth across tree branches in despar. It really was unhappy that it squished a small insect under its53,000pound tracks. ¡°SSSSSSH! NELLO! S-STOP THRASHING! STOP THRASHING! TH-THE ENEMY WILL HEAR US! AND THEY¡¯RE ALL LEVEL 10+ CREATURES!¡± ¡°B-Big Sis! I-if they¡¯re that dangerous, th-then why did you take the job in the first place!?¡± ¡°It¡¯s really a simple solution solved by baisc mathematics, Nello. If I take on this job and accomplish it, not only do I receive the hefty reward price but I get an extra bonus of gold coins for challenging a mission that is several levels above my own. Also, defeating things that are higher level than yourself would surely make my experience points soar through the roof!¡± ¡°B-Big Sis. I-I¡¯m not good with math. I only know about leading my shot in front of an enemy tank when they are moving, or angle of elevation and range to target. Nothing else! S-so I really don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re trying to do.¡± ¡°Fear not, Nello. All I have to do is use stealth and creep up behind the enemy, and shoot them with my crossbow. I should be able to bring down one or two orcs if I get a clean headshot. Then, if they try and chase after me, I could run away. And then.¡± ¡°And then?¡± ¡°You can stomp on them all you want!~?¡± ¡°H-heh? Wh-why is Big Sis excited about killing orcs!? A-and your voice sounds so p-pretty when you think about me crushing them under my feet. I-I¡¯m scared. I¡¯m really scared, Big Sis.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Nello. If this goes all according to plan, we¡¯ll make a fortune! Why, I might be able to save up enough of our mission money to buy us a house! And I will make a giant stable for you to sleep in! Also, I will built a palm tree fan for you to keep you nice and cool during the summer seasons!¡± ¡°Oh! A big house with my own bedroom!? And palm tree fans!? I-I like that Big Sis! I don''t know what''s a palm tree, b-but really want to see my future bedroom!¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s do our best!¡± ¡°Yes! Yes!¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~Four Scores and Seven Years~ You made a stellar speech that has riled up the natives'' will to fight! Bravo!
Pastrache smiled at the mystical screen that popped up in front of her. Among most of the notifications that would often make her front, this was the one rare time it made her feel like she deserved this accomplishment. Not to mention, she was just as eager to get the show on the road seeing how excited the T-34 Soviet Tank was in waving his barrel up and down. Like a child being told they''re going to Mickeyland! An evil grin could be seen on her lovely face. ¡°Alright Nello. Stay here. I¡¯m going on in, and when I give the signal, you will charge out into the open!When you do, wave your hands - er, nose around and make lots of wild noises! Then we¡ª¡±This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°REEEEEE-LOADING!" "G-geh!? Not so loud! They''re going to here us!" "Acquiring target! Distance is120 meters. Adjusting angle of main gun for maximum penetration!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.H-huh? Nello? What are you doing?¡± The half-Elf girl stared at her large friend in confusion. She even had to tilt her head to make sure she didn¡¯t miss any minonr detail that her first glimpse had overlooked. If this was a compare and contrast game, she would have failed, or she was staring at identical portraits. It¡¯s most likely the former but no need to openly tell her that. From the time they ended their conversation to this point in time, she noticed how much noise the Soviet Tank was starting to make. It wasnt moving, but it did straight out its turret head as to aim the barrel of the gun directly at the opening of the cave. As more noises of gears spinning and mechanical arms squeaking gas from their hydraulics, the tip of the barrel would often adjust going up or down by a couple of inches until it was just right. ¡°Hey, N-Nello. Wh-why are you making that clunking sound in your belly? And that nose, wh-why is it staring at the opening of the cave?¡± "Crosswind is 15 km/h from North-East, North-North, re-adjust firing vector. Stabilizing main gun. Locking in firing solution into circuit board!" "N-Nello? C-can you hear me!? Wh-why are you so serious all of a sudden!?" The Cave Mouth at the base of the mountain was large. It was enough for an Ogre to walk in, although it had to duck its head inside as if entering a ramen parlour. The cave was guarded by a single soul, a small Goblin with a bow and wooden arrows on its lap. Like any diligent guard working on a basic salary, it was fast asleep with its feet kicked up on a human skull. Although anyone could enter inside the pitch black caves, there were a series of strings with hanging bone pieces that was meant to rattle should an intruder step on the wire. Obvously, once the tenants inside of the ant-colony like catacombs here the warning bell, they will rush out and beat the sh*t out of the intruder, before stripping him (mostly her) naked, do some stuff (mostly him), and then mug them of their belongings. It was a simple plan for simple creatures. ¡°Armor piercing round is loaded into the chamber. Battery is set and armed.¡± ¡°W-wait. Nello! Stop! I-I said I¡¯ll go in quietly and snipe them from afar. Th-there¡¯s no need for you to charge in and attack with your nose like a jousting knight! Even if you carry all that armo on your body, th-they¡¯re still going to swarm you!¡± ¡°Final bearing adjustment complete. Main gun is running hot. Repeat, main gun is running hot. Recoil Braces check-ok! Preparing to engage the target! ¡°ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, NELLO!? NELLO!? NELLOOOOOO!¡± Maybe it was because the engine inside of the T-34 Medium Tank was getting really excited. The more the tank focused with its barrel with the same mindset as a professional sniper, the more the noises drowned out the Half-Elf Girl¡¯s screaming. Due to the increase in excess volume, the noises started to bounce off the side of the mountain and intensified in frequency. The Goblin sentry snapped awake with a groan. ¡°NELL¡ª¡° ¡°ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
<< Accessing Ground Camera for ''Travelling Reader''... COMPLETE >>
¡°NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!¡± Pastrache let out the scream of all screams in the world, but sadly it was drowned out by the howling of Nello¡¯s main cannon launching a 76.2 x 385 mm high velocity armor-piercing round at a muzzle velocity of 680 m/s. It instantly cut through the air and dove into the black cave. It didn¡¯t even ¡®sailed¡¯ it just left the cannon and it was already flying deep into the heart of the black catacombs. It confused the Goblin as to what happened. Wanting to get a better look of what went inside of the cave, it flopped off its seat to peek inside. *BAKA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* Only for a flood of incendiary explosion to billow out from the black depths and swallow the curious little goblin whole. Not even its bones were left. It turned into dust and was blown away by the heavy heat wave that followed from the insides of the cave. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah.¡± Pastrache had clapped her hands onto her long and knife-pointed ears. She had super sensitive hearing, so even if she did shield them from the blast, she was going to be temporarily deaf until tomorrow morning. She couldhear nothing but ringing as she stumbled, the fluid in her auditory canal suddenly becoming distorted. Her knees were shaking, from the recoil of the shot that was transferred from the nose of the cannon, into Nello¡¯s body, and then scattered into the earth through its tracks. All she could see, was this thick black smoke vomitting out from the insides of the cave. ¡°Cartridge spent! Reloading next round! Incendiary Shell has been loaded into the chamber! Ready to fire! Engaging!¡± ¡°¡­¡­NELLO!?...C-CAN YOU HEAR ME!? ARE YOU DONE!?...IS IT SAFE FOR ME TO¡ª¡± ¡°ATAKA! FIRE!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!¡± Once again, Pastrache let loose the second mother of all screams when the ballistic howl roared once more. The second round flew right into the cave opening, slicing through the black smoke as if it a sheet of looseleaf paper. The next explosion that came ignited sooner than the previous. Another belch of hot flames vomited from the maw, and into the outside air. Both small and large figures were stumbling out of the insides of the cave, all bathed in rolling fire. It looked like one Orc and one Goblin. They didn''t make a sound, only thrashing their arm-like stubs and jumping on legs the color of ash. Maybe out of mercy, they fell over onto the grass, their burnt bodies scorching the ground under her silhouettes. They didn''t bother to move after that. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± As Pastrache watched the carnage, she failed to hear Nello reloading the third high velocity shot into the chamber and released the round at Mach1 once again. This time, it sliced through the ceiling of the cave, gutting it wide open as if it were a fishmonger to a freshly caught trout. The whole mountain face collapsed, just up and sinking into whatever hole or empty space that had been blasted out. Rubble and stone came rolling down the sides while many of the rocks caved inside. It caused the whole ground in the entire corner of the province to shiver and quake, the massiveloosened boulders sliding to hit the earth. When the smoke cleared away, what used to be a cave no longer existed. It somehow blended into the side of the mountain as if a natural rock formation. Nothing was left of what Pastrache saw only two minutes ago. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± Unable to understand the science behind 20th century armored warfare¡­ the Half-Elf girl collapsed to her knees, her small body shaking rather violently. Much like how the speed of sound had to wait a bit before catching up to a fighter jet at maximum speed, several notifications had eventually popped.
<< Nello used 76 mm TANK GUN on OrcRaiders Lv. 12. It''s hyper effective. >>
<< Orc Raiderswere dealt -999 (x5) Piercing, Bludgeoning, Blunt Damage. >>
<< Orc Raiding Party are on fire and bleeding out. >>
<< Orc Raiding Party are dead. You are now out of Combat. >>
*** -- RESULT PAGES --
<< Nello gains 30,000 EXP for destroying all targets in one round. >>
<< Congratulations! Nello has leveled up 50 => 51 !!>>
<< You acquired 15,000 EXP shared with Nello due to being in the same Party. >>
<< Congratulations! You leveled up 1 => 5 !! >>
"¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­." Pastrache watched as multiple of those message windows opened up in front of her blank face. Her eyes were open and she glimpsed at it, but her brain had shut down. Whatever words were written on the holographic faces were rendered into another language altogether in her mind. She couldn¡¯t understand them. At most, she saw the numbers representing levels. Even so, she still didn¡¯t quite grasp the system she had witnessed. As if to clarify things, a small cough came from the T-34 Soviet Tank...More like, a sneeze and cloud of smoke from the tank barrel. ¡°B-BICHUU!¡­.I got them Big Sis! I got them! Now we can get the money to build a super big house!¡± "............................................." "...Big Sis?...Hmm? Wh-why do my tracks feel wet?" "......................................A...aahuh..."
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~Scared Sh*tless~ You wet your pants. Hope you have a spare underwear.
"..............................K...kuuuffnnn..." "...Big Sis? A-are you okay?" In the end, Pastrache failed the mission. The evidence of orc and goblin remains were too scorched, brittle to the point of being unrecognizable ashes. The only reward she received was the 50 GP bonus pay for taking on a mission higher than her level. In order to celebrate, she bought herself a bottle of Brandy and spend the nightnumbing the trauma she experienced that day. [PARODY] You will be Born a Star, but Please dont go Supernova Nello: "Big Sis! Big Sis! Did you hear the news! I''m going to be the star of a very cool action movie that''s coming out next year!" Pastrache: "...What''s a movie, Nello?" Nello: "Y-you know, th-these big screen things where you see people running around and doing impossible stuff! I-I wonder if the person playing me will be that super important man!....Cruise...Missile was it?" Pastrache: "I don''t understand what you''re saying. But I''m happy your excited about moving." Nello: "Movie." Pastrache: "...Yes. Of course, I was paying attention to you. Cough." Nello: "Oh! Oh! Also, someone gave me the trailer! Want to see it!? They put the movie up on something called the YuppieTube." Pastrache: "A-are you sure it isn''t called Ethereal Net Drive?" Nello: "...Something like that. Want to watch?" Pastrache: "...Well... it''s not like our job request in finding lost chickens have a time limit. Alright, let''s take the day off from adventuring and watch this moving theatre of yours!" Nello: "Movie." Pastrache: "Shall we watch it together now~??" Nello: "Uwaaaah. B-big Sis has this scary look on her face! D-don''t hit me with your shaking fist, m-my body will break!"
<< Accessing Video File for ''Travelling Reader''..... Complete >>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y_eRUErIlY
Pastrache: "....Holy sh*t, Nello! You''re super cool in that moving theatre projection! H-how did you learn how to drive like a drifting wagon!?"Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Nello: ".........................Uwaaaaah...Wh-why am I fighting so many Tiger tanks... th-they''re the scariest ones in the Battle of Stalingrad...A-and I had no ammo to begin with while they chase after me.....Uwaaaaaaaah. I-i''m so glad I''m protecting Big Sis now in another world." Pastrache: "What are you talking about!? Now that I''ve seen you in action back at your old world before your transmigration, th-think of all the possible missions we could take on! Eradicating Giants! Battling the Orc Army in the South! Why, you could be the hero of the Next Kling''ing Wars!" Nello: "...H-heh? B-big Sis, y-your eyes are sparkling dangerously!" Pastrache: "Hu-hu. I can see it. A cr*p ton of experience points and reward money for taking on next to impossible quests! Hu-hu! We''ll be rich! I''ll live in a manor and have an army of maids at my disposal! I can have every time of bathtubs I want from ivory, to arcanic electric, to even the fancy ones that shoot bubble jets in the right places in your body¡î!" Nello: "B-big Sis. Big Sis. Y-your excitement and drooling is scaring me!" Pastrache: "Come here, Nello! Let us go outand create a new world order! Every beast that tries to make me bear their children will suffer the wrath of yourunstoppable fire nose! Nyaaa-haa-haa! Let''s rule the world with military might!" Nello: "H-heh! Is Big Sis going to become this super evil conqueror who is bent on unifying a fractured nation!? Th-that''s super scary! E-especially if she is going to be drinking wine from a fake skull like a Vodka cup! G-give me the original Big Sis back! Pleeeaaaaaase!" Pastrache: "Ha-ha-ha! Onward ho! For a new empire! Nyaa-haa-haa!" Nello: "WAAAAAIT! BIG SIS! PLEASE DON''T PULL ON MY NOSE! IT HURTS! IT HUUUUUUURTS!" ------ [This is not a canon chapter. Dah.] ~~GreenFlame000 If the Wife says Shes Fine - Youre One Step Away from the Doghouse -- (Eighth_Weapon) :: Dear Diary.....I am looking forward to do another mission. Unlike last time, I need to plan better. The objective of this mission is set with in an undefined timeframe, so I have some leeway to prepare myself and not rush things. Maybe I should grind and raise up my level to somewhere around two or three. That way I could acquire more skills. Or maybe I should focus on my archery stats. Despite having elven blood, I realize how terrible I was with the old fashion bow and arrow. I would always end up hitting a poor dog or cat that happens to be sitting right behind me. To this day, I still don''t know how the arrow reached that far. So looks like I¡¯ll just practice with my crossbow, at least I can shoot straight. ::
<< QUEST STARTED >> ~ Blue Elk Hunting Lv 6 ~
BACKGROUND: A local farm by the name of PHINEAS A. FERB is injured and is unable to hunt for Blue Elks to run his business. He needs to collect 8 Blue Elk Antlers to supply to a client who runs a pharmaceutical ferm.You are told these antlets hold a large amount of nurishment and nurtrients that are beneficial for medicinal purposes as well as cosmetic creams that improve skin density and color. The Blue Elks are range from Level 4 - 6. BONUS: If you collect 15 Blue Elk Antlers, you will be given a free sample of the new Esteem Loud''s Night Protection Hydration+ Facial Cream.
BASE REWARD FOR MISSION COMPLETION: ------------------ 750 GP Bonus Reward for Challenging Above Current Level: --- 50 GP --- NOTE: Blue Elk Meet can be sold at5 GP per pound, FYI.
¡°B-Big Sis. I-I¡¯m scared of this idea. C-could we switch?¡± ¡°But if we switched positions, Nello, it would defeat the purpose of my training. Please hold still, like a rock.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m not moving. No-not one bit.¡± ¡°Your body may be sitting in the grass, but your noses is shaking. If you keep moving, I won¡¯t be able to hit the target.¡± Pastrache was determined to become stronger. After spending two days to recover from a certain previous mission, she hoped to improve herself to the point where she can believe that her skills were reliable. As much as she enjoy solo missions, there will come a time where she had to work with other Adventurers in order to tackle more difficult challenges or job request. That was why she thought it was very important to spruce up on her sharpshooting skills. With a wooden crossbow in her two hands, she would be able to shoot the enemy from a distance and allow for full movement in case she was pursued. As much as it lacked the range of a traditional longbow (#NotAllElves), the weapon itself had enough spring and impact rivalling to that of a musket. This was one reason why Pastrache selected this tool as her weapon of choice. It-it wasn¡¯t because she can¡¯t shoot a bow and arrow without the string slapping her cheeks 9/10. No. You¡¯re delusional! (#IsBunnyNarratorATsundere!?).
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¡°Okay, Nello. I¡¯m ready with my crossbow. Are you ready with the target?¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m not moving! I¡¯m not moving!¡± ¡°¡­Nello! Your nose is dropping too low! The target is curled up in the grass, hold it up higher!¡± ¡°Y-Yes, Big Sis!¡± ¡°¡­Nello! The target is one meter two high. I-I can¡¯t compensate for arrow drop yet. I need to first master my ability to shoot in a straight line, before I start working more complicated skills like leading in front of a moving enemy or distance adjustment! Put it back to the level I asked for!¡± ¡°B-but, but, i-isn''t this super dangerous? A-are you sure we can¡¯t hang this piece of paper from a tree and let you shoot it there?¡± ¡°No, we can¡¯t. The last time I tried, those d*m Acorn Monkeys ended up stealing the target so it could¡­do violent stuff thatnewlywed couples do when their bored¡ªNow, hold it up properly!¡± ¡°Y-yes, Big Siiiiiiis! (TxT)¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~You''re a Mean One, Mrs. Grinch~ You made your Tank Ally cry inside. Shame on you.
The Half-Elf Girl shoved aside the annoying message window and smiled. She carefully watched her friend the T-34 Soviet Tank sat on the ground several yards from her position and held up its 3 meter long tank barrel at eye level. There was a large piece of paper the size of a flip chart she often seen teachers used in school. It was more or less a mediocre cutout of an Orc¡­ Ogre¡­Cyclops¡­Whatever it was. Anyways, she tied it around the tank¡¯s barrel with some rope and let it hung under the 76 mm nose. It was like she was hanging out the laundry to dry, only she had circular bull¡¯s eye marks drawn on the head, stomach, and hands of the Orc¡­Cylcops¡­Ogre¡­¡­Orca¡­Anyway, it was literally her practice target.
<< Paper Target used FLAP IN THE WIND. Nothing happened.>>
Pastrache cleared her throat to focus and slipped on her riding goggles, clearing her vision by closing that trouble some mystical screen. She spread her legs apart at should weidth and adjust her body so she was leading with her left side. The Half-Elf let out a long and controlled breath, before she slowly brought up her crossbow to her face. With her eyes looking down the crosshair, she adjusted her angle so she she had the tip of the arrow pointed directly at one place of her practice target. The crotch. ¡°Um¡­Big Sis.¡± ¡°Sssh. Nello, I¡¯m concentrating. Be a good boy and stay perfectly still.¡± ¡°Um. B-Big Sis. Y-You don¡¯t have to work this hard in f-fighting right? I-I¡¯m a tank o-of the Soviet Army. I-I may be useless against a German Tiger T-Tank, but, but I can still beat up and step on bad guys from hurting you.¡± ¡°You¡¯re very sweet, Nello, and I appreciate it. But I can¡¯t throw all the combat situations onto you like an irresponsible child. I have to be strong myself. What happens if I¡¯m inside a city and someone wants to grope my @ss.¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°I-I¡¯ll run through the front gates and come to your rescue!!¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t! I-if you do, I would have to pay for the iron gates and I might be sued if you rolled over someone half-dead. I-I really appreciate the gesture though.¡± ¡°S-still¡­wh-why do I have to hold this floppy target?¡± ¡°To practice my marksmanship and raise enough experience points to level up!.¡± ¡°I have a machine gun. You could use that. You really don¡¯t need to aim, just shoot and move the gun around too¡ª¡° ¡°Sssh. I¡¯m concentrating.¡± "Gulp..." Pastrache was too focused to notice how much the tank called Nello was shaking. Despite the fact it had 47 mm worth of iron plating in the front, 40 mm across the sides, 45 mm in the rear, along with the turret¡¯s front-side-rear being 60-52-30 mm each (#NotThreeSizes)¡­ It was shuddering as if worried a stray bullet was going to take his leg off¡­eer¡­caterpillar tracks. Either he was mistaking a medieval crossbow to be on equal terms as a LAW Rocket, or ¨C he was just that nautrally anxious.
<< Paper Target uses BACKFLIP. Nothing happens. >>
¡°¡­Nello!¡± ¡°GYAAAAH! I-I DIDN¡¯T DO ANYTING! I-IT WAS THE WIND¡¯S FAULT! I-I DIDN¡¯T MOVE A TRACTOR!¡± ¡°Tch. Now look at it, it¡¯s flipped over the other side! Now I can only see the target¡¯s @ss waving at me. I belive it¡¯s mocking me!¡± Pastrache cursed under her breath and broke her shooter¡¯s stance. She mached across the grass and manually flipped the large piece of cut-out paper that represented an Orc¡­ Ogre¡­Orca¡­Octopus¡­Whatever. Once she fixed it, and even straightened the legs to wrinkle out the crotch area, she marched back to where she left her boot print in the ground and returned to her shooter stance. Legs apart. Back straight. Chest puffed out. Left leg leading, then lean. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. Big Sis. Did you shoot already? I-I didn¡¯t hear the gunpowder exploding.¡± ¡°Th-this isn¡¯t a musket or an arquebus. Th-those weapons are only reserved for Tier 1 Ranger Class Adventurers, not this novice who barely has 15 gold coins in her pocket! Besides, getting the license for them and renewing it every year is a pain. So¡ªSTOP MOVING!¡± ¡°YEEEEEEEES!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Did you shoot yet Big sis?¡± ¡°F**K!¡± The Half-Elf Girl shrieked as she lowered her weapon from ready stance. She didn¡¯t suffer a technical malfunction, more like an emotional malfunction. Somehow, she can¡¯t seem to get her aim set just about right. She was aiming for the head, but the more she tried to steady her hand, the point of the arrow kept going down to where the target¡¯s crotch was. Every time she shaked her head to aim somewhere else, her eyes would always gravitate to the crotch. The crotch. The crotch. The crotch. ¡°D*mn it, is it because I¡¯m frustrated as h*ll that my subconscious is affecting my judgement?¡± ¡°¡­What did you say, Big Sis? I can¡¯t hear you from this distance if you speak so low.¡± ¡°NELLO! BE A GOOD BOY AND BE QUIET SO BIG SISTER CAN SHOOT YOU!¡± ¡°GEEEH!? N-NOT ME BIG SIS! THE TARGET! THE TARGET!¡± ¡°EXACTLY! SO PLEASE DON¡¯T DISTRACT ME!¡± Nello looked like he sat on the epicentre of a category 8 Earthquake. Even with his engine off, his entire iron frame was chattering harder than teeth in a cold storm. Regardless if the character was a tank from the former Soviet Army and born in the middle of the Battle of Stalingrad, the voice residing inside of its body was still that of a young child. To stand in front of a gun, be it real, toy, or a medieval crossbow, was nerve racking. So Nello had every justification to be shaking like a maraca. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..M...my nose itches...uuuh.¡± ¡°¡­ Neeeeeelllooooooooooo.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry Big Sis!Please don¡¯t hit meeeeeeee.¡± The voice of a child now sounded like a hamster with a fever. ¡°¡­Okay. I¡¯m ready. I¡¯m going to shoot. Brace yourself Nello! Right between the eyes!¡± ¡°Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh!¡± With a short and confident nod, Pastrache adjusted her riding goggles¡­ and pulled the trigger of her weapon. *PISHUUUUUUU¡ªTHOCK*
<< You used CROSSBOW BOLT on Nello. Dealt -0.000001 Piercing Damage. Critical Hit! >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Apple on Whose''s Head? ~ You shot your Ally for target practice. Shame on you. ---
¡°GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! M-MY EYYYYYYE!¡± ¡°¡­Ah.¡± The Half-Elf''s vision was blocked by this wall of mystical warning screens and she heard this weird sound, like that of a horse screaming bloody murder. After she punched close all those bothersome screens and wiped the fog from her goggles caused by her raised body heat, she could clearly see where she shot at.
<< Your relationship with Nello has decreased by 1.5%. Apologize with your body. >>
<< Notification: You Alignment is fromPlain Girl toSadistic B*tchStage 1. >>
The arrow from her crossbolt was supposed to hit the crotch of her target, which was hanging off from the tank barrel like flapping laundry. Also, it was about 1.5 meter away from Nello¡¯s body so there shouldn¡¯t be any chance of hitting her dear friend even from misfire. Think about it, people who post videos on the Ethereal Net Drive all shoot guns with the camera right in front of them for face-value action... how come they''re still intact!?. Yet somehow, the Half-Elf Girl found the end of her crossbow bolt sticking out from a hole. The barrel of Nello¡¯s 7.62 mm DT Machine Gun peeking out of from his turret head. It wiggled violently right now. ¡°AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAGGGGG! AAAAAAAAGH! G-GET IT OUT! I-IT¡¯S BURNING! IT¡¯S BURNING MY CIRCUITS! GAAAAAA AAAAGH! M-MY EYE! FOR TSAR¡¯S SAKE SOMEONE CALL A MEDIIIIIIIIC!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡­I¡¯m so, so sorry Nello.¡± In the end, Pastrache cried. 10% because she shot her dear friend in the eye (machine gun muzzle), but 90% because she realized ¡ª she is a terrible shooter. Her Elven Ancestors were frowning upon her, no doubt. ¡°¡­I¡¯m a disappointment¡­Sorry mother¡­Sorry father¡­Sob.¡±
<< You are inflicted with GUILT. You receive -2 ongoing Emotional Damage. >>
<< Please seek counselling for your troubled childhood. >>
¡°PLEASE STOP CRYING AND GET THE ARROW OUT OF MY EYE, BIG SIIIIIIIS! GYYYAAAAAAAAAGH!¡± Give a Cute Half-Elf a Rifle, Increase her Lovely Appeal. (Ninth_Armament) :: Dear Diary.....I give up. It hasn¡¯t been 10 days since I left my village and became an adventurer, that I realized I am not cut out for this line of profession. I thought I could borrow this position in order to access intimate information about my father who used to be a great adventurer himself before he settled down and married my mother. Now, I¡¯m a failure to my Elven Blood. I shot my friend in the eye and I''m still stricken with Guilt Status. It''s effects are worse than Poison or Burn Damages. I¡¯ll never be a great archer like my ancestors¡­never¡­. never¡­ ::
<< Nello is offering you a Giftto cheer you up. >>
<< Your relationship with Nello has increased to 45%.Shotgun Marriage Route, available. >>
¡°...Cough...Hmm? A rifle?¡± ¡°Y-yes. O-ow! Y-you could use a rifle. I-I¡¯ve seen them in action in the Battle of Stalingrad. E-even a civilian who helped to defend the city could use it with very, ow, little training.¡± The Soviet Tank named Nello was a kind soul. Despite its26.5 ton mass, he had the kind of personality that wanted to reach out its barrel as a hand and help others. A friendly iron giant with a big heart so to speak. But don¡¯t tell him that, he¡¯ll be confused by the meaning if you dragged in something organic like hearts, livers, or kidneys. Also, this bunny narrator isn''t in the mood to be coerced to have a Korean Hotpot - the bill will break her weekly allowance like a vase. So the tank came up with a suggestion for his failing friend, Pastrache the Half-Elf Girl. ¡°Are you sure I would be better off with this weapon you call a rifle? What is it exactly?¡± ¡°Well, when I watched you hold your weird gun with the u-shaped metal bar and string, it reminded me of a rifle the soldiers in the Russian Army would use. It looked exactly like it, only it¡¯s longer anddoesn''t have the weird¡­ Horseshoe face.¡± ¡°But where can I find one? Remember, you ended up being reborn and transmigrated to my world thanks to the Goddess Odyssey. Other than your body, I don¡¯t think you could carry any weapon with you during the transferal.¡± ¡°I think there was one inside of me. In a bag. Remember? You were looking for a blanket one night.¡± ¡°¡­Now that you mention it, I did see weird objects inside of that flimsy treasure chest made of silk.¡± Pastrache thought it over as she touched her chin, with her other hand stroking the7.62 mm DT machine gunnext to her. She could be found sitting on the leg armor of the Soviet Tank, her legs swinging over the side as if a swing on a playground. The Tanks anti-infantry machine gun was for some reason wrapped in white bandages. It was hard to discern the backstory behind it, but it looked like a crossbow bolt had been stuck somewhere and was pulled out like a bullet stuck in a wound. ¡°¡­Should I take a look again? Doesn¡¯t it belong to the people who once rode inside of you?¡± ¡°Go ahead Big Sis and take a look. Since I¡¯m in a new world, I guess you can say the Battle back in Stalingrad is over. And I don¡¯t think anyone from my hometown will show up here and ask for their bag back. So it¡¯s all yours¡­unless, the Soviet Army calls me¡­Uwaaah. They¡¯ll scrap me for sure!!¡± ¡°Hyup.¡± Pastrache the Half-Elf Girl was already crawling all over Nello before she heard the last part of his worrying sentence. She opened the iron lid across the top of the turret and dove right inside as if it were a pool. A cute ¡®woop!?'' Could be heard and something large ended up tumbling inside of the tank. The Soviet Tank rocked a bit, but then went still¡­like a bobble head after parking a car. ¡°.....Big Sis, you ok¡ªUGYAAAG!? M-MY INTESTINES!¡± ¡°Ah, sorry Nello. I grabbed the wrong thing. Ah, here is that bag! Hyup!¡± ¡°GUUGGG! S-SOMETHING¡¯S TUGGING ON MY LEVERS! GAAGH! UUUGGG! AANN! B-BIG SIIIIIIIIS!¡±
<< CONGRATULATIONS! You discovered Red Army Duffel Bag! >>
After making weird noises like something was pulling at his tail or entrails (take your pick), the beautiful Half-Elf girl happily crawled out from the top of the tank turrent and back onto the armor she used as a raised platform / bench. She brought out the duffel bag full of items she had seen before but didn¡¯t pay too deep in attention to. She figured out how to work out the zipper again and started to explore the contents. ¡°Now that I look at this again, there¡¯s a lot of strange objects sitting inside it. Is it really necessary?¡± ¡°Um¡­Well, I remember the crew always waving around this metal stick that shines light around, to make sure there were no German soldiers hiding in the snow. Then you have the gun that shoots out colourful smoke, mostly to tell my other tank brothers we found a German Panzer unit charging down the street or somewhere.¡± ¡°Hmm. It sounds useful now that you mention it. I¡¯ll keep it in mind for next time.¡±
<< You gains +100 XP for Knowledge Check. Congratulations, your INT increased by 0.5 >>
...After some wincing, looking, and digging her hand in deep places, she finally found what she was looking for and pulled it out from the long duffel bag. She waved the item around in front of Nello''s face, er his turret head for him to see.
<< You found MOSIN-NAGANT RIFLE. It is automatically equipped in your inventory! >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~The Sword in the Stone~ You discovered a weapon unique to your world with special abilities. You are the King!
¡°Unique? This strange looking staff? Hey, Nello, is this the thing you mentioned? The rifle?¡± ¡°Yes! That¡¯s the one alright! I think it will suit you perfectly Big Sis!¡± Pastrache slipped herself off from the tank and onto her feet across the ground. In her hand clutched this foreign looking weapon that resembled an exotic matchlock or even arquebues in shape and length, albeit more refined and extra metal parts. ¡°¡­[>>Scan Weapon<<]." The Half-Elf girl said a simple voice command under her small breath.A series of particles appeared within her vision, forming a large screen that printed lines of coding and words.
<< EXAMINING WEAPON FOR INFORMATION......PROCESS COMPLETE! >>
3-LINE RIFLE M1891 / MOSIN-NAGANT
WEAPON TYPE:----- Bolt Action Rifle??
DAMAGE TYPE: ----- Piercing
RATE OF FIRE: ----- One Shot Per Bolt Load
RANGE OF ATTACK: ----- 500 meters (Standard), 850 meters (Scoped)
MUZZLE VELOCITY: ----- 865 meters / second
YEARS OF SERVICE: ----- 1891 to Present (Earth Years)
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: ----- Russian Empire
OTHER MODELS AVAILABLE?:----- Yes, 8 Variants
DESIGNER: ----- Captain Sergei Mosin and Emile Nagant
MANUFACTURER: ----- JSC Kalishnakov Concern Arms Plant
SERVICE HISTORY: ----- (List of War Participated too long, would you ike to expand?)
<< You gained +150 XP from Studying New Weapon. Your INT has increased by 0.5!! >>
¡°¡­Hmn.¡±Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°Wh-what is it, Big Sis? Y-you don¡¯t like it?¡± ¡°How do I use it? It looks like a Crossbow, but where do I load the bolt to shoot with?¡± ¡°¡­Ah¡­ good question.¡± The Half-Elf looked up at the Soviet Tank. The Soviet Tank looked up at the sky. It was trying to remember something as its 3 meter barrel quietly went up and down¡­like a certain English detective chewing on his smoke pipe as he mulled over a complicated case. ¡°Oh! I remember now!¡± ¡°Yes? Yes?¡± ¡°You see the wide part? You push that into your chest.¡± ¡°Nello. I love you, but if this is a prank so you can see the curves of my body, I won¡¯t forgive you.¡± ¡°Meaap! B-Big Sis has this scary look that¡¯s even more terrifying than a German Tiger Tank! N-no! I¡¯m serious, you hold the wide end against your shoulder. L-like your gun you call a crossbow.¡± ¡°¡­Oh. I see.¡± Whatever rage that ignited in that short moment instantly blew over like a birthday candle. Whether or not this was the calm before an even bigger storm, it all came down to how this Half-Elf Girl was going to manage herself with this new weapon. She braced the stock end of the rifle to her shoulder, the trigger pointed downward and she straighten the barrel. It was a heavy weapon, but surprisingly lighter than her crossbow asit hadall of its weight shifted forward towards the metal horseshoe bow. Like she said before, she didn¡¯t know where to load the crossbow bolt to fire it at high velocity. ¡°Do you see the bullets inside of the bag. They¡¯re super long ones that look like wolf fangs. Yes, those ones. Now, you load them into the chamber thing.¡± ¡°Chamber thing?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know I¡¯ve seen soldiers using them would push the tray of bullets into this space in the center of the gun, where your trigger would be. Yes there! But you have to slide the bolt back to open it up.¡± ¡°Hnnn¡­Oh! I-it popped open! I-it even has a nice sound! Um. So, insert like this?¡± ¡°N-no! The other way! Ther other way! The pointy end facing away from you!¡± Pastrache bit her lip when she realized her mistake. She quickly flipped the stack of bullets connected on a metal plate and figure out how to slip in the end into the chamber of the rifle. She then realized the metal place won¡¯t go down any forther than 1 inch. ¡°Nello? What now?¡± ¡°Use your thumb, push the bullets inside. Gentley.¡± ¡°¡­Oh! It slides off the metal bar! How convenient!¡±
<< Accessing PASTRACHE''S POV CAMERA for ''Travelling Reader''............COMPLETE! >>
The Half-Elf carfully pushed the7.62 x 52 mmrounds into the chamber, hearing it click one by one as it fitted inside of the loading dock. Once the last bullet was pushed in, she removed the plate. She could have thrown it away like any other soldier, but seeing how this was her first rifle loading, she decided to keep it as a momento of this grand occasion. Thus, she slipped it under her corset and patted it securely across her warm bosom. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°What Nello?¡± ¡°N-nothing. I-I¡¯m fine. Cough. (I never knew Big Sis could be so bouncy!)¡± Pastrache tilted her head at her friend, while the Tank turned its turret away from her for some reason. She wondered if she made a mistake, but Nello would have told her. The girl shrugged it off from her shoulder and she held up the rifle like she would to a crossbow. ¡°Oh, how convenient. This has a more accurate iron sight than my other weapon. ¡° ¡°Go ahead and test fire it!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­.I don¡¯t know.¡± Despite owning an authentic Mosen-NagantM91 rifle, there was a sense of hesitation coming from Pastrache. She would look at her weapon once more, as if inspecting every angle of a stone. It was still something she wasn¡¯t used to, and she had not seen how this particular model work. She wasn¡¯t even sure if it had the same result to that of an exotic matchlock gun. ¡°¡­..I guess, it won¡¯t hurt. Just one shot, okay, Nello?¡± ¡°Okay Big Sis. Tell me when you¡¯re ready!¡± The Soviet Tank seemed to be in an encouraging mood, as it raised up his barrel in order to lift up a certain paper cut-out. It was a large piece of parchmet paper that was drawn to resemble and Orc¡­Orca¡­Shoggoth¡­Sarlaac, anyways, this was Pastrache¡¯s target practice. It was left hanging from the ropes tied to the barrel. And it was ready to be shot at. ¡°Fuuuuuuuu¡­Fuuuuuuuu.¡± Remembing her training in archery lessons, Pastrache would take deep breaths and slowly exhale. She then shouldered her rifle to soft bosom and rested her cheek across the stock. She then had one eye down the line of sight, adjusting its angle. This time, she didn¡¯t gravitate to the location in the center of the cut out called the crotch. ¡°Okay Nello. I¡¯m ready to shoot this thing. Are you?¡± ¡°Ready to go, Big Sis! Fire away!¡± ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.*Click* ¡°¡­Hmm?¡± *Click. Click* ¡°¡­Nello. This was a prank afterall.¡± ¡°N-no! No!It-itshould be firing the bullet from the rifle! I don¡¯t know why it¡¯s not working!¡± No matter how many times the Half-Elf pulled the trigger, nothing happened. No loud bang, no cloud of smoke, not even an absurd recoil. Nothing. As if it had no bullets in the first place. That was when the child inside of the Soviet Tank spoke up. ¡°Oh! Big Sis! You didn¡¯t pull on the bolt!¡± ¡°The bolt?¡± ¡°Yeah, on the rifle over your trigger. I almost forgot, you had to manually load the bullet with each shot. So you have to load one into the chamber to fire with!¡± ¡°¡­Isn¡¯t that annoying?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know how it works, b-but that¡¯s the way it is. The soldiers keep saying it¡¯s troublesome, bu-but they mention how much power it has. I haven''t seen a single soldierthrow away their weapon... unless they got into a fight with themselves after having too many Vodka.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Fine.¡± Swallowing her irritation, Pastrache moaned as she struggled to move the bolt lever on her weapon. It took her some trial and error before she figure out the sliding mechanism of the device.With Nello¡¯s guidance, she would pull it back, make a satisfying click sound, and then push the lever back to its closing form. The gun was now loaded. Clear! ¡°¡­Now Nello?¡± ¡°It should fire. Give it¡ª¡° *BAAAAAAAAANG!*
<< Accessing''s PASTRACHE EMOTIONAL POV for ''Travelling Reader''.......COMPLETE>>
<< You were hit with RIDICULOUS RECOIL! You were dealt -3 Force Damage. >>
¡°GUBGAAFFFF!?¡± Two things happened. One, the Mosin-NagantM91 actually fired. It launched asharp bullet at a maximum velocity of860 meters per second. The brass round cut through the air so fast, it took everyone one minute to relize it vanished after it sliced through the dead center of the paper cut out target. Directly through the crotch. A clean shot with destructive force. Not to mention, beautiful precision (in between the jewels). ¡°Oh! You did it, Big Sis! You hit the target! Right in the bull''s eye! You¡¯re very cool! Do it again, do it again!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­Big Sis? Why aren¡¯t you¡ªAh.¡± Two, the Half-Elf have been using a crossbow that used all of its kinetic energy from the string to launch a projectile. So recoil was very light. Given that this was a ballistics rifle that had a effective range of500 meters¡­ it as obvious how much energy was needed accelerate a small bullet at Mach 1 (#NewtonsLawIsBad@ss).
<< ERROR: You lack the necessary Skills and Stats to support the weapon. >>
<< WARNING: Your WISand INT has decreased by 1 >>
<< STATUS: You are now prone. Enemy had Advantage over your body. >>
Therefore, the rifle smashed into Pastrache¡¯s face after she pulled the trigger, and it knocked her over to fall onto the ground. Her current State of Mind: Unconscious.
<< You gained +300 XP for being brutalized. You gained Skill: Punching Bag Lv.1 !!>>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ You Got Knocked the F**k Out!~ You were punched in the face so hard, you blacked out. Don''t blame Mohammed Ali. ---
<< BONUS CONTENT UNLOCKED HERE: >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSet6htnVcQ
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­BIG SIS! NOOOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOOOOO! HEEEEEELP! SOMEONE GIVE HER CPR! MEDIC! MEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!¡± And that''s that. Bad End? Good End? Screw the Rules. Im Right Here for You, My Sister -- (Tenth_Duel) :: Dear Diary..... My jaw still hurts from last time. I don¡¯t know when I¡¯ll be able to properly chew on anything hard, let alone stuff something in my mouth and keep it from falling off my tongue. The past few days, I¡¯ve been eating nothing but mash potatoes. It hasn¡¯t hurt my finances, but a girl could only eat so much potatoes and bananas for so long. So I decided to try another job, to raise up some money. This time, I¡¯m going to treat myself to a king size meal! ::
<< WARNING: You are under attacked by a Wild Manticore Lv 20. Please Escape >>
<< Manticore Lv 20 used CLAW! Not within effective range. It dealt you 1/4 Damage. >>
<< WARNING: Your Health is currently 8/20. Please Heal. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~Dead Men Tell No Tales~ You survived a Critical Attack from an enemy three times above your level.
¡°NELLO! NELLO! NELLOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!¡± Pastrache was running. She was running faster than she had ever sprinted in her entire life. Even when she had won the 100 meter, 1000 meter, and even the 500 meter relay races in her elementary school track-and-field, none of those previous landspeed could compare to the record she shattered today. How such Olympic level talentblossomed in her was very simple to explain. Agiant half-lion, half bat, scorpion tailed beast was chasing after her at breakneck speed. Fast as a cheetah, sleek as a panther, witty as a mountain cat. With 900 pounds of kiling furing riding in it''s paws, it chased after what it called tonight''s dinner. A plump Half-Elf with a delicious looking @ss. ¡°NELLO! WHERE DID YOU GO!? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BEHIND! NELLO! NELLOOOOOOo!¡± For those of you reading this for the first time, welcome. Secondly, Nello is a T-34 Soviet Medium Tank. For those of you who have been following this story up till now, thank you for your support. You all know that Nello would never leave behind his beloved Big Sister Half-Elf, isn¡¯t that correct? You aren¡¯t wrong on that conclusion.. Pastrache forgot one important fact. She was the one who left behind her tank friend to sit by the river.She hoped to take a break from hunting Dire Rabbits and Slimes before returning back to the capital city to submit her work. She thought she could sneak out on her own and find some delicious game in the meantime. Knowing her Tank Friend''s engine will send a lovelyMoonFox or Sun Turkey running, she gave him a direct order to stay at the river side and wait for her return. Truth be told, being on her own not only improved her chances of finding delicious looking game, she was able to level up her Stealth Skills. Two birds with one stone. So to celebrate, she tried to take out a lovely looking Sun Turkey that was only 10 meters in front of her. Somehow, the second her crossbow bolt left the launch pad - it shoved itself up the @ss of a Manticore... that was sleeping behind her. Behind her. To this moment, she still didn''t know what messed up the natural law of physics around her. ¡°HELP! NELLO! I LOVE YOU! I I REALLY DO! SO PLEASE COME OUT OF A FOREST AND RUN THIS BEAST OVEEEEEE EEEEER!¡ª¡ªHELP ME! HELP ME! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
<< Accessing CHASE CAM for ''Travelling Reader''..............ERROR >>
Pastrache doubled her current speed, throwing her legs into the wind to increase her distance from the Lv 20 Manticore that was charging right after her. But even when she was on the verge of breaking her own sound barrier,it was only a matter of time before the Manticore would pounce on her body, strip her of her clothing, and force her to have its ba¡ª ¡°STOP! STOP! TH-THE FACT THAT THIS BEAST IS PANTING HEAVILY IN THE WRONG MANNER IS SCARING ME! G-GET AWAY FROM ME, Y-YOU PERVERTED FLUFFBALL! S-STOP TRYING TO BITE MY @SS! I-I¡¯M NOT INTO THAT KIND OF PLAY! NYAAAAAAAAAH!¡± With a cat like scream, the Half-Elf Girl kept running down the woods. In all of her fleeTing madness, she completely forgot where she was. The girl wasn¡¯t even sure if she was heading in the right direction. She hoped to at least run back to a certain Soviet Tank who was waiting for her by the river bank. However, all the landmarks she passed were different, not even close to any body of water. She was even smart and stabbed markings into trees she walked by, to tag her pathway with her dagger. Possibly from all of her frantic rush, she completely failed to notice those light arrow scratches and kept bolting down anywhere that offered her room to escape the menacing hunter. Meaning, she was alone. She had no one to back her up. Even if she had leaped from Level 1 to Level 5 in a fortnite, she had zero ability or power to take on a Level 20 Manticore. She was screwed. ¡°D-DON¡¯T F**KING JINX MEEEEEEEE¡ªNYAAAAGHHGG!¡± Maybe it was her time, or perhaps fate was being cruel with her. The Half-Elf struck into a upturn root, that was as high as her hips, and was slammed in the gut with a one-arm coat-hangar like tackle.
<< Repeating action to Access CHASE CAM for ''Travelling Reader''.........COMPLETE >>
<< (O§ÕO)'' >>
¡°GUBYAAAAAAAGGFFFF!?¡± The girl was sent flipping over once, twice, three times, before she collapsed into the dirt with her @ss flipped over her head. She felt her body going numb from the shock of the blow, each part of herself shutting down from overload. Her mind was rattled from a minor concussion and she felt like throwing up from how disorientated her equilibrium was. It only took her about 30 seconds to make her remember she was being pursued by a hungry Manticore. So she tried to crawl¡­only for a familiarscorpion tail to curl around her ankle, and drag her backwards. Like a scene from a horror movie. ¡°GYAAAAAHGG! NELLO! NELLO! D-DON¡¯T LET HIM TAKE ME! I-I DON¡¯T WANT TO HAVE MANTICORE BABIES! TH-THE LABOUR PROCESS IS GOING TO RIP MY BODY APAAAAAAAAART!¡± No matter how much Pastrache screamed, no one answered. Even when there was a band of Adventurers walking down the same path as her, literally about 5 meters ahead, they all watched her get dragged towards the beast¡­ before they dropped the mushroom and water canteens they gathered to run faster than a modern day race car. Not even the Bald-headed Priest counting rosary beads looked back. ¡°¡­¡­.Why¡­why is everyone so cruel to meeee!¡± Pastrache tried to struggle. She would flip onto her back and throw out both of her long legs to strke out at whatever caught her. She would kick, stomp, flail, anything to deal significant damage to her assailant.
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. Critical Hit. You dealt-3 Bludgeoning Damage to crotch. >>
<< You gained +200 EXP. You acquired Skill: Groin Kicker Lv 1. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You used FRANTIC KICK. It was ineffective. You dealt -0.1 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
Despite all of her blows connecting, none of them had any crippling effect whatsoever.Even when she kicked the beast right in the daddy bags, it didn¡¯t so much as flinch. More like... it blushed with awkward happiness that no woman should ever see. That, was how overpowering the beast was compared toa young Half-Elf Girl. ¡°Wait! No! D-don¡¯t flip me over! H-Hyaaaahnn! D-don¡¯t nuzzle my back dooooor wi-with your nose! Gnnng! I-I''m not a cat! I''m definitely not a cat in heat! L-Leave me aloooooooooone!¡± The Half-Elf Girl squealed when the beast moved its scorpioin tail to flick her onto her stomach. A paw stamped onto her back, pinning her center of gravity down to prevent her from moving. When she tried to wriggle her way out, she could feel something hard already pressing and rubbing in between the cheeks of her butt. It wasn¡¯t the daddy bags she kick. The Manticore was merely siizng her up like cats greeting each other. But given how content the huffing and the puffing from the beast sounded, it was only an inevitable matter when it will start taking advantage of her. "N...no I...I don''t want it on the ground... i-it''s dirty...a-and out in the open...p-people will see us...I...I''ll be destroyed physically and socially...A-Are you listening you f**king cat, s-stop nibbling at my thighs--aaannahhhggg! S-stupid Elven Blood! Y-you''re too sensitive to kinky sh*t!" Now, she felt teeth clamping onto her belt and trying to tug it off. Like a Goliath Bear pulling at the skin of a Buccanneer Salmon slapped out of the river.
<< You received aMental Request from Manticore Lv 20 >>
<< Manticore Lv 20 wants to Bond with you. Do you Accept? (Y/N) >> => (B) NO
<< Manticore Lv 20 wants to Bond with you. Do you Accept? (Y/N) >> => (B) NO => (B) NO!!
<< Manticore Lv 20 wants to Bond with you. Do you Accept? (Y/N) >> => (B) NO => (B) NO => (B) F**K NO!
<< Manticore Lv 20 wants to Bond with you, or it will tear your organs out. >> <> ...................... => ...(A) Y...Yes...
<< Manticore Lv 20 Promises to be Gentle with you. But no guarantee >>
"...I...I hate this...I...I hate this reality so much...Sniff..." The Half-Elf Girl cried. She just up and cried. Having all of her exit plans sealed, her counterattacks dead and null, there really was nothing else left to do defend herself from this upcoming invasion to her existence. So she forced herself to resign to her fate...and reluctantly relaxed her body. What was going to come next was something she can¡¯t escape from. Also, if she clenched herself too tight, it will definitely hurt her for years to come. Ashamed, she could only bow her head in absolute defeat...and cry. ¡°¡­Nello¡­I¡¯m sorry¡­¡­I¡­I¡¯m going to be someone¡¯s mother¡­Sniff.¡± *Snap* The Half-Elf squeaked when she felt one of her leather belts get cut by the Manticore''s fangs...Now, it proceeded to go down between her-- ¡°STAY AWAY FROM BIG SIS YOU FAT CAT!¡± *VRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
<< Accessing CHASE CAM-2 for ''Travelling Reader''............ COMPLETE >>
A mighty iron beast smashed through a wall of trees, boulders, and shrubbery. It soared about 10 inches off the ground and it dove straight at the Manticore and the Half-Elf Girl. The first thing that happened was the Manticore gasping, not out of shock or surprise from this stupidly insane scene. But a 3 meter long barrel rammed into its chest like a jousting knight. ¡°¡­..NELLO! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!¡± ¡°HANG ON BIG SIS! I¡¯LL PROTECT YOU!¡± Nello the T-34 Soviet Tank rushed onto the ground, hittings its tracked onto the dirt with a heavy thud. The Manticore it tackled with his nose flew over. A pop can drop kicked by a child. The barrel adjusted its angle, and then¡ª ¡°ENGAGING! ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* The 76 mm Tank Gun released a deafening howl that smashed the ground.A shell capable of splitting through 30 mm armor and 30 inch stone walls took flight with a sonic spiral. But it didn¡¯t have a chance to touch the target. The Manticore had already touched its feet to the ground and bolted with an Enhanced Speed bonus feature, doubling its evasion. The shot went wide and blew open a dirt bank, exploding oak trees in its wake. ¡°P-Proklyatyy! That fat cat is really fast!¡± ¡°NELLO! WATCH OUT!¡± ¡°NUWOOOOOH!¡± The Tank muttered under his ''breathe'' and tried to turn its turret head to find the beast. Unfortunately, the Manticore dashed at him from a blind spot and charged him from the side. Pastrache rolled out of the way, in time to see Nello¡¯s track spinning in opposite directions at full speed. The armored vehicle was able to turn a full 90 degree on the spot, and received the Manticores tackle at full force. Nello was pushed back a couple of inches, but with itsV12 Diesel engines running at a maximum of500hp,the Soviet Tank started to fight back against the Manticores weight, forcing it it to lose ground under its legs. ¡°I ¨C WON¡¯T ¨C LET ¨C YOU ¨C HURT ¨C BIG SIS!¡± The T-34 quickly reloaded its cannon. Pastrache could hear his internal gears moving rapidly to re-arm the main gun with a new armor piercing round. Once the clicking and the clanking was over, she could see the barrel aiming at the Manticore, particlualrly in the face face. Point blank. ¡°FIRE!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* Once the tank fired its shot, he realized the target in his vision had disappeared. He didn¡¯t know when or how long, but the artillery shell ended up diving into a lake and exploding, kicking up hundreds of Crystal Trout to flop dead onto the lake shore.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. "Gyaaaaaaah! M-my ears...H-heh!? N-NELLO! ABOVE YOU!" "Hmmm....Why do I suddenly hear a German Stuka Bomber in the--GYAAAAAAAAGH!" The turret would look around for the enemy, only for the Manticore to drop back down from the sky and on top of it. ¡°Guwoooooghh! S-so heavyyyyyy!¡± ¡°No! N-Nello!¡± Pastrache quickly looked around for her bag and her crossbow. She found it half submerged in a pool of mud, so she dove right into it drag her weapon out. She shook thesludge from hercrossbow and quicky stuffed an arrow into the launcher. By the time she turned to see who she needed to shoot, the Manticore was riding wildly across Nello¡¯s tank body. The beast roared and bellowed, thrashing its lion like claws into the armor. As the turret was covered in36 mm plating, its clawskept bouncingoff.
<< Manticore uses SHARP CLAWS. Critical Hit. Nello''s Health Point is 499/500 >>
<< Manticore uses SHARP CLAWS. Critical Hit (x2). Nello''s Health Point is 498/500 >>
<< Manticore uses POISON STING. Nello is Immune to Poison. >>
<< Manticore uses BODY SLAM. Nello''s Health Point is 488/500. >>
<< Manticore repeats BODY SLAM. Nello''s Health Point is 478/500. >>
<< Manticore repeats BODY SLAM. Nello''s Health Point is 468/500. >>
<< WARNING: Nello is carrying too much weight, unable to run. >>
<< Nello suffered Sheering damage to Tracks: Medium Damage++ >>
"Uwooooh! B-Big Sis! Wh-why are there so many floating boxes around me every time the fat cat tries to steps my body--Gywuoooohhhggggg!" Pastrache choked. As she had connection to her friend''s stats, she too received a copy of a long list of damage notifications and warning windows blinking into her face. She was unable to read all the fine detail, but she was able to deduce that because of the Manticore''s added weight to Nello''s body, he was suffering speed and movement penalties on all quarters. At the same time, his ''legs'' were starting to receive ongoing damage, and the bodydiagram on his character screen was blinking hot red to where those tracks were. Every time the T-34 Soviet Tank struggled to Judo throw the Manticore, it failed to throw off the large beast that kept jumping up and down on his body and turret head. Every bounce, every swift turn, it caused violent sparks to explode under Nello''s body, especially where the tracks scrap into his armor plating. As Pastrache had sharp hearing, she could already hear the straining of iron and steel reaching a breaking point. If they break, Nello would be a sitting duck in the mud. Not even his cannon could save him if he sat there in the open without any evasive countermeasures. If this continues, his life could be essentially over. ...As if his beloved Big Sister was going to watch this with idle hands. She already held up her Crossbow. ¡°Hang on Nello! I got him!¡± *PEW!*
<< Your attack missed. Reload. >>
The first shot went wide over the Manticore''s neck as it clamps its teeth on Nello''s turret head. ¡°...SH*T!¡± She reloaded her weapon. Focused, aimed, and pulled the trigger.
<< Your attack missed. Reload. >>
It went right in between the Manticore¡¯s legs. ¡°D*MN IT! ¡° Pastrache didn''t stop. No matter how many times she fired her crossbow bolt, she swore every time her shots either flew at an awkward 45 degree angle or hit a tree behidn her. She ended up throttling her gun, strangling the weapon with her own two hands, but she ended up receiving useless Indian burn damage to her palms. Because of that, she truly felt useless in this tight situation. "KKKKKKKKK--GET OFF MY FRIEND YOU FAT@SS WALKING CARPEEEEEEET!" In her rage and to defend her only friend, the Half-Elf tossed her one weapon in her entire arsenal... it ended up bouncing off of the Manticore''s forehead.
<< You dealt -2 Bludgeoning Damage to Manticore. Enemy is status is now p*ssed. >>
"....D...D*mn it...d*mn it......wh...why was I born to be so pathetic.......I...I can''t lose him...I can''t lose Nello!...GODDESS ODYSSEY! GIVE ME A SIGN! ANYTHIIIIIIING!" ... No otherworld being shot down a bolt of light to transport a heavenly sword for the Half-Elf girl who was covered in blood with claw marks ripped through her shirt. Not even so much as a Lady''s gun at a random moment that defied the Laws of Science and Physics. Just pure silence from a quiet and neutral sky. ... Then it came... the voice of a young child. ¡°B-B-Big Sis! Here, take this!¡± ¡°¡­H-heh!?¡± The Half-Elf Girl snapped out of her depression and watched as her friend the tank suddenly rvved up his engine to run off into another direction, carrying their enemy on his head. At the same time, there was a compartment flap across the side of his body that opened up. Something was ejected out from the side. ¡°¡­Th-that rifle!¡± The sign she needed came to her, slipping across the wet mud. Falling across the ground was the Mosin-NagantM91 Rifle. She shivered, the weapon sitting on the ground was the same culprit that punched her in the jaw from recoil and knocked her out for half a day. She wasn¡¯t sure if she was even ready to use it again after that trauma. But all she had to do, was look up at Nello and watch his legs burn from the sparks under his body while wrestling with the Manticore. Her small hands turned into a white knuckled fist. ¡°¡­D-Dear Goddess, please give me strength! NUWOOOOOOH!¡± Pastrache swallowed down her fears and leapt forward. She grabbed the rifle into her hands and rolled through the dirt and mud. She remembered its unique system of pulling back the bolt to load the next shot. Once she rolled to her feet, she took aim. She didn¡¯t have to wait and pulled the trigger. *BANG!*
<< YOU FINALLY HIT SOMETHING! Dealt -10 Piercing Damage to Manticore Level 20. >>
<< Manticore Lv. 20 is crippled! -20% Evasion Penalty. >>
¡°YES!¡± "YOU DID IT BIG SIS!" Not only did Pastrache shot hit the target, but it slapped onto her target with considerable damage. The 7.62 x 54 mm Russian Round she launched struck into the leg jointof the Manticore, cracking open its knee cap. The creature gave a painful bellow as its one hind leg collapsed to make it reel. It started to lose its tability while Nello kept trying to buck it off like a horse! ¡°H-Hang in there Nello! Big Sister is coming to the rescue!¡± "Yaaay--Guwaaaghhg!?" The Half-Elf pulled on the bolt, flinching when a spent shell flew in front of her face. She shook off her astonishment for the strange weapon, and pushed the bolt back into place with a ''KER-CHAK''. A new round entered the firing chamber. She aimed - and squeezed. *BANG!* The next round shot off the Manticore¡¯s tail, right in between a weak joint between the bulbous flesh of the large scorpion tail. Half of it was cut off, with the stinger end flopping across the ground like a headless snake. After some ''kicking'' and ''thrashing'' it laid limp and lifeless for the mud to swallow it up. Feeling strange, the Manticore chanced to look at its rump... the sliced tail on his hind bleeding fresh blood. Distracted. ¡°CHANCE!¡± Nello started up his engine at full throttle and sharply went backwards before bolting off forwards. The movement forced the Manticore to heave to and fro, losing its grip. The turret on the Soviet tank spun around slamming its barrel into the creature¡¯s gut. At the same time, the armored vehicles anti-infantrymachine gun had clear opening of the creature''s belly at point black. It held no hesitation and released its anger out loud. *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!¡±
<< Accessing Nello''s GUN CAM for ''Travelling Reader''............ COMPLETE!! >>
¡°I-incredible!!¡± Pastrache watched in horror of how that strange small ballistic barrel was ripping bullets into the Manticore¡¯s scaled bodyfaster than a drill digging into bedrock. Every burst rattled her head and her lungs as she saw the side-mounted weapon flashed violently into the beast''s abdomin within a 1 inch gap.
<< Nello used DT TANK MACHINE GUN. Critical Damage. >>
<< Nello used DT TANK MACHINE GUN. Critical Damage. >>
<< Nello used DT TANK MACHINE GUN. Critical Damage. >>
<< Manticore Lv 20 received over 130 points of Piercing Damage. >>
The Manticore was bloodied all over. Its hardened scales and its tough flesh were ripped like cheap paper, most of its organs were already being destroyed to the point where everything had to be censored. The machine gun wanted to continue until the creature''s health points drop to zero, however like any machine gun it entered into a state of overheating. The barrel was red hot and choked itself, unable to fire another round until the metal shrunk back to normal. Still, the Tank was able to heave his body around to throw the beast off of his nose with a swing. Homerun! ¡°Big Sis! Give me cover, I need to reload the cannon!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Leave it to me!¡± Without a second thought, the frightened Half-Elf girl instantly dashed across the ground with an innante Speed Boost thanks to her Elven Blood. She darted across the battlefield, all the while flicking the bolt and shooting each round at the Manticore that had dropped on the ground. She knew her shots were not enough to kill it. But given how much piercing damage it dealt with each round, it was enough to make the creature flinch and delay its reaction time. To keep it from recovering for a last minute counterattack. Even from a distance, the Half-Elf''s pointed ears could hear the mechanical clicking going on inside of Nello''s tank body. Gears spun, latches locked, and iron levels clicked-and-clacked. Then that sound of something heavy being shoved into a tight space tapped her on the shoulder. Just when she used up her last round in her Mosin-Nagant.The final shell ejecting over her wide eyes. ¡°BIG SIS! READY!¡± ¡°GO FOR IT! NELLOOOOO!¡± The end game. She could see it as clear as day. It came in the form of a warning screen that told her something dangerous was about to happen, and take cover. Not caring about her body, she threw herself into the mud and covered her head and ears with her small hands. ¡°ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
<< Accessing HARD CAM for ''Travelling Reader''........... COMPLETE! >>
The force of Nello''s gun shook the earth, causing trees to sway in astonishment and mud water jump in fear. Pastrache kept her face down. Despite her ears covered, she heard that familiar whistling sound of a small iron shell travelling at beyond Mach 1 speed. The rumbling, the ear piercing sound, there was no way she was going to forget this sensation for the three weeks to come. As for the Manticore? Its fate could not have been more screwed. Having lost its movement and its evasion ability sealed, the creature tried to use a Roar Ability to scare off its opponent. A Natural Skill to force the enemy to retreat to allow it to escape. Big f**king mistake. *BLEEEEGGGGGGSSSSKKKKKKKKKKSSSSHHHHHHHH!*
<< Nello''s TANK GUN dealt -999 Piercing and Incendiary Damage to Manticore Lv 20 >>
<< Manticore Lv. 20 is prone and on fire. Enemy has Advantage! >>
Theanti-tank calibre armor piercing round slipped through the beast''s gullet. It drilled through its spine and out the back. Then, it exploded to incinerate whatever was left of it. No more than a simple red mist that erupted that day. 10 seconds after, the hidden Pastrache suddenly felt a hot shower slam across her body and spine, throwing chunks of what felt like hot snow and hail onto her. As quick as it appeared, the shower stopped. ...The only thing we need to know, that what was supposed to be a brown and green field - turned fresh red. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Big Sis¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..A..auuh¡­¡± ¡°B-Big Sis? C-can you hear me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­..Nyaaah!¡± Pastrache didn''t dare to life her head for three good reasons. One, as much as she had faith in her friend''s fire nose, she was worried the Manticore was still alive and would scratch her beautiful face off. Two, she was too scared to see what was the color of the ''rain, snow, and hail'' that painted her body. Three... she was drenched in mud... she felt ashamed to show this side of herself in front of Nello. So in order to get his Big Sister''s attention, the T-34 Soviet Tank ended up using his cannon to tap the girl''s butt. As if it were her shoulder. "GYAAAAAH! HOT! HOOOOOT!" "Ah! S-Sorry, Big Sis! I-I forgot my nose is still hot from shooting the cannon! D-don''t be mad!" The Half-Elf screamed and threw her round bottom into the nearest mud puddle, dunking it right in. She ignored the sickening sensation of dirty water seeping through the cracks of her short pants, and just eased up when she no longer felt the burning damage to her bottom. She hoped, afterwards, it will not leave a bad blemish or burn mark. "...H..hukk." She then realized just how much carnage had been scattered and splattered across the trees, boulders, and the roads around her. It was nothing an Adventurer with 30 years experience under his or her belt could have coped. Not even a professional butcher who was fifth in his generation of a family business, could keep his vomit from swelling in his gut. Not to mention... the way ''certain streamers'' hung across the branches like toilet paper thrown about. ¡°¡­¡­..Nello¡­¡­D..did we win?¡± ¡°Yes Big Sis! We did it! We beat down the mean cat thing! W-we even got EXP or whatever that is!¡± ¡°¡­.A¡­are we alive?¡­ Or¡­ have we been transmigrated again?¡± ¡°D-did you hear me, Big Sis? I said we just won. A-are you alright?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Nello. S-stop whistling. M-my ears are hurting from your frequency.¡± ¡°Aaaaaaaah. Big Sis is deaf again¡­Oh dear.¡± Pastrache tried to stand up, but her entire lowerhalf passed out. She wasted the last of her energy to put the the burn on her bottom. So she was left to sit in a steep mud puddle. Deep down, she hoped that no one saw the mess she was in... particularly those with a mud-wrestling fetish. ¡°¡­..Is it over? Please...say someting Nello. I-I dont understand the language that involves screeching monotonously in my ear!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah¡­I know!¡± Suddenly, the Soviet Tank moved closer to Pastrache, to stop only three inches from her fallen figure. With its nose, it started to point itself to the ground and began to move it through the soft earth. The Half-Elf watched, not sure what to make of what the Tank was trying to do. Once it was done, the tank went in reverse to reveal a message it drew on the ground, fresh mud dripping fron his tank barrel. It was spelled with three letters: ...D......A.....H..... Dah (Yes). ¡°... Nello¡­What does that word mean?.¡± ¡°Geh! O-oh no, I-I forgot Big Sis doesn''t read Russian!" Realizing his mistaken and folly, the T-34 Soviet Tank waved its nose up and down in panic. ".......Pffffft.......Pfffftt....Pfffff-baahaaahaaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaaaaa!" "....B...Big Sis?" Nello''s nose flinched upon hearing his friend suddenly breaking out into laughter. He can''t tell if it was sincere or just relieved. He didn''t understand what emotion was, but he felt there was too many feelings in that sound the crazed Half-Elf girl made. All the while sitting in the mud puddle, her lower half soaked, and her one hand slapping the ground in hysteria. "HA-HA-HA-HA! Nello is so cute! So adorable! You''re such a big pussy cat! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-hahahahaaaauuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" "...Big Sis..." Like a symphony that had reached the climax of its exciting recital, that coarse laughter swept into a flood of fear, agony, and terror. Released into one loud wail. "UWAAAAAAAH! HUKK! HUKK! NELLOOOOOO! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU CAN''T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!" "..." "UUNNGGAAAAAAAAAAHHWWWWWW! Y-YOU''RE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME! EVEN WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO BECOME A MANTICORE''S CONCUBINE! Y-YOU''RE HERE FOR ME! N...NO ONE OTHER THAN MY MOTHER HAS TREATED ME LIKE THIS! I-I ABSOLUTE LOVE YOU NELLO!" ".......I love you too Big Sis...I...I''m not very strong, and German Tanks scare me... but... I will protect you. I won''t let anone bully you anymore..." "GGGUUUUGAAAAAAG! I-I WISH I COULD HEAR WHAT YOU''RE TELLING ME! NELLO! NELLOOOOOOOO!" On that fateful day, it started to rain. As if the Goddess of Weather sought pity upon the child and the tank who were stained in mud and blood, the rain started to wipe away the dark stains from their bodies and heart. All the while, a Half-Elf Girl stuck in a puddle, wrapping her small arms around the armored leg of the T-34 Soviet Tank, wailing, crying, and shrieking. "I''ll never leave you alone...Nello... so please, don''t abandon me." "I will never abandong you, Big Sis. I''m right here, by your side." When you see an Elven plea to a Dwarf, Dont Laugh. Just Take a Picture. -- (Eleventh_Counsel) :: Dear Diary..... Due to the incident with the manticore, I realized two important things. One, I leveled up. Sharing a party with Nello gave me a small percentage of the experience he acquired in defeating the enemy. Since it was Lv 20, I''ve received a considerable amount of experience points to let me skip several levels. Second, I''m still weak. Despite receiving so many points, my base stats are still the same as I had started out adventuring. Even with a higher level, a basic slime could easily defeat me. I wonder if there is a glitch in the system. Hmm. I think I''ll pay a visit to that nice lady with glasses back at the guild. She looks smart, maybe she could explain to me what is wrong with my character sheet. ::
<< You have entered the Capital City of Londonbabi. Would you like a Tour (Y/N)? >> => (B) No.
<< You entered the Adventurer''s Guild Hall. Would you like to register? >> => (B) No.
<< If NO, please type in the comments as to why you reject the offer >>
COMMENTS:I''m already part of the guild. Please read my Registration before asking me such stupid questions. What is wrong with your systems!?!?
¡°Welcome back, how did your adventure¡ªGuugg!? Wh-why theh*ll do you smell like wet dog!?¡± ¡°I came across a Manticore. Long story.¡± ¡°D-don¡¯t try and fool me, young woman! I¡¯ve been working here since my mother carried me in her womb, so-so I¡¯m used to hearing all sorts of lies! If you have a fetish for dogs, just say so, his city doesn¡¯t judge.¡± ¡°THAT¡¯S NOT WHY I SMELL LIKE THIS!" Pastrache had returned to the capital city, where she had registered her name. The guild she was now working for was located in the center of the city, standing in front of a public fountain that was also a monument for a previous great war the pronvince had survive from. The streets were made of stone tiles, the buildings made of lime stone, and the roofs had a lovely terracotta color decored with fresh green vines. Even when this city was in the middle of a landlock, it felt likethe Half-Elf was living in a Mediterranean village. Anyway, back to the situation at hand. No need to promote the capital¡¯s beautiful public parks and national librarys for a tourist attraction (#AdNotSponsored). ¡°H-huk! Hack! Cough, seriously, Miss Adventurer! You should at least have a decent bubble bath after your fun time with the dogs!¡± ¡°Sh-shut up! I already threw myself in the local river about 6 times. I even used up all of the soaps I had left in my inventory! It¡¯s not my fault Manticore brain and intestine smell this terrible!!¡­Sniff, sniff Gaaah! Th-the scent still wreaks in my hair! Th-this is a tragedy!¡± ¡°Sigh. You should at least look decent enough. I mean, what would a man think if they walk by you. The second he picks up the scent of a rat plague, he¡¯ll think all the girls in the city are rubbing it on their bosom as a new fashion fad. It would make us look bad. Now, come here, I hope you¡¯re not allergic to any ingredients usedin thisperfume.¡± ¡°Nyaaaah! S-stop pulling on my corset! Gaaaagh! Wh-why are you dumping an entire bottle of lavender oil down my body! Nayaahh! S-stop! I-I don¡¯t like this slippery sensation!¡± Pastrache was hoping to seek out help in order to fix her character stats problem. As much as she would like to stay with her friend Nello, or having him come along with her, it was impossible. Nello was a tank, andhis width alone would surely smash throughthosenarrow wooden gates as if it was a child¡¯s cardboard fort. The amount of collateral damage counting up in her head would surely bankrupt her life as an adventurer. Even if she sold her body to work on a farm as an indentured servant, five generations would not be enough to compensate for the damages. Hence why she came into the capital alone. At least she thought she wassafe to this Dwarf Lady who manned the main counter of the Adventurer Guild she was registered too. "S-stop thrashing you little girl! H-how else can I splash every nook and cranny on your body and clothing if you keep pulling away like a child who won''t take his medicine!" "S-screw you! I-I have super sensitive skin! I-I never once consentedforyou to stain me in your colored cologne or whatever the cr*p smell you''re painting on m--Nyaaagh?! Wh-why at my pants!? The woman that was pulling on her neck and dumping the contents of an expensive looking aroma bottle was about 4 feet tall. No higher than Pastrache¡¯s waist. A woman wih a mature look and long blue hair tied up in a dame''s bun, sporting a pair of spectacles that made her look important in her position as a Guild Clerk. Almost everyone who entered and exist, be they new recruits or old veterens, would always, always say hello to this clerk lady, or at least a nod in greeting.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. Anyone caught not properly introducing themselves to this small woman, would bekindly escorted into theStaff Lounge #3 to have their @ss kicked with an iron boot. The same iron boots the Dwarf Clerk was wearing right now. ¡°Please! S-stop shoving the bottle down my clothing! How d-do you expect me to fight without worrying theglass becoming shattered after a punch to the gut!? A-also, it would be extremely awkward if it fell under my skirt and the enemy sees it in the open.¡± ¡°Easy. Tell them you have a bladder issue.¡± ¡°F**K YOU!¡± Pastrache ¡®kindly¡¯ shoved the Dwarf Clerk¡¯s hands away from her chest and rummaged through her corset in order to pluck out the foreign aroma bottle out from her clothing. All the while, the said Dwarf Clerk could be seen sighing as she took a moment to wash her hands with a bottle of sanitizing gel sitting on her desk (orange scented). ¡°Anywway, how may I be of service to you, fellow Adventurer?¡± ¡°Now you talk business? Compensate for my mental damages you reckless woman!¡± ¡°If you came to get a job, please go over to the request board and pick one out. If you want to acquire intelligence of a certain individual in the city, our information broker is sulking in the corner and drowning his sorrows from losing his 10th girlfriend this month. If you wish to pick a fight wth me, theStaffLounge #3 is open for you.¡± ¡°...N-never mind. I-I¡¯ll get back to business¡­Gu-gulp.¡± ¡°Wise choice. Now, how may I help you today?¡± The Dwarf Clerk said those words with a soft sigh, but it was clear she wasn¡¯t at all happy with that sharp look in her eyes. Even when she had those expensive looking glasses shielding her gaze, Pastrache could definitely feel hot daggers plunging into her throat for the wrong reasons. ¡°I-I need you help regarding about my Character Sheet Data. I think it¡¯s broken.¡± ¡°Oh? How so?¡± ¡°Well. I¡¯ve increased my base power to level 8, however my stats haven¡¯t moved that much. Also, I think I¡¯m missing some skills I should be receiving when I was to reach level 5 and 6. Could you explain to me what¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°¡­¡­..Pardon me?¡± ¡°D-didn¡¯t youhear me. I said I¡¯m level 8 now and my stats are still level 1.¡± ¡°No, no¡­just the first half of your statement.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you hear me. I said I¡¯m level 8 now. Period.¡± ¡°Impossible. Simply impossible. Is this some kind of prank? You¡¯ve only registered with us for about five days. Even if you accomplished eradicating an Level 10 Orc Raiiding Party by chance, you shouldn¡¯t have skyrocketed to Level 8 so quickly.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­..I¡¯m not lying.¡± ¡°Says the girl who is hiding her fetish for dogs.¡± ¡°I-I DON¡¯T HAVE A FETISH FOR ANIMALS YOU GOD-D*MN¡­lovely clerk lady.¡± Pastrache wanted to yell, at the top of her lungs and make an epic scene that would properly end with her being dragged out the front door by two burly men. Instead, she decided to cut her future plot short upon seeing this killer red glint dancing across the rim of the Dwarf Clerk¡¯s glasses. Would it be strange to say she still had this smile of a professional on her small face. ¡°Regardless if you are using a Cheat Code or Rare Candy in order to level up your current status, your abilityto improve your character scores shouldn¡¯t be affected by a bug or glitch. Have you been manually updating your information as you level up?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Yes. B-but it still had zero effect.¡± ¡°Miss Elf, please look at me when you try to lie. Stress sweat is forming on your cleavage.¡± ¡°W-wait th-that¡¯s a weird spot to be detecting whether or not a girl is lying!¡± Pastrache swallowed her saliva when the Dwarf Clerk stared at her intently, as if she was caught in the middle of an interrogation. She tried to change the subject by going on about how the weather was, or forming her line of defence by poking her fingers together like a child done wrong. It had no effect on the professional Guild Clerk who kept smiling while standing on a 10 inch soap box behind the counter (#DwarvesHaveItRough). ¡°I told you to properly listen to the Tutorial Classes. It¡¯s completely free to attend upon completing your initial registry. Are you suggesting that your Intelligence score is too low for you to understand that common sense?¡± ¡°D-don¡¯t make me call on Nello to run you over, you evil¡ªLovely clerk who has lovely bosoms.¡± ¡°¡­¡­..If you were a man, I would have slapped you with my mace. Now, let¡¯s begin your tutorial. I will be your teacher for the day.¡± ¡°Gulp.¡±
<< Dwarf Clerk E. Cogez has invited you to a Private Study Session. Do you accept? >> => (A) Yes.
<< Your relationship with Miss Cogez has increased to 0.1%. Youtwo are Negotiable. >>
<< Your Status is: Absurd Fear. Please seek counselling . >>
¡°Why are you so nervous, little Elf? Just becausethis Dwarf has a reputation of crushing impolite recruits, doesn¡¯t mean everyone has to be afraid of me¡­right?¡± "Ugii (OxO)!!" A Girls Problem Always Come in the Form of a Disorganized Character Sheet -- (Twelfth_Upgrade) :: Dear Diary.....I feel sorry for Nello. I have to take this crash course lesson from the Dwarf Clerk who works at the guild I¡¯m with. She¡¯s scary when she needs to be, but I¡¯m surprised how patient she is when trying to show me how to properly manage my character points, improving my stats, as well as suggesting which skill would be best for me based on my fighting style¡­.Oh right, before I go, I should ask for her opinion on which Class I should take. I¡¯m already past Level 5. Maybe she could help me there. By the way, what was her name again? ::
<< GUILD SCAN, EMPLOYEE CODE AUTHORIZATION AC1980......... APPROVED >>
<< Pastrache Mooneyehas upgraded to Level 8.Currently has2018+1 CharacterPoints. >>
¡°Simply put, I don¡¯t believe you honestly collected this absurd amount of experience points. You stole them by gutting a fellow party member in their sleep, didn¡¯t you? And why is there a +1 at the end? Did you steal mine too!?¡± ¡°No! Of course not! Do you see my Achievement list carrying the title of ¡®Backstabber''!? No. Nello and I are in a party, and he¡¯s stronger than me. So whatever he ended up killing is shared with me. It just so happen our enemies are 10 times higher level than us!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.You¡¯re still sweating in the cleaveage. You¡¯re definitely lying.¡± ¡°That¡¯s only because ofhow hot this god-forsaken staff lounge is! Wh-where is an Ice Crystal to keep the temperature cool! A-and why is using this contraption that gives out ridiculous amount of heat necessary to display images on the wall!?" "It''s called a Corona Projector. I spent half of my Wedding Savings to purchase this as part of my work requirement. So please save your complaints until 100 years after you''re old and withered." "G-guh!? I-is that some kind of supernatural curse!? R-Red Cross! Red Cross!" Pastache could be found dragged into the territory of the guild known as Staff Lounge #3. As mentioned in the name, there were three types of leisure rooms for employees. #1 general humanoid and small-medium sized employees who manage the everydays of the guild (kitchen staff seperate). #2 was dedicated to the Guild Manager''s officer (#PrivateMeetingWithSexySecretaryAndSoundProof). And #3...Well...voila. This one was different, as it belonged entirely to the Dwarf Clerk. There was a plaque to proof it was hers. ''E. Cogez''s Room. Zero Tresspassers''. Whenever she would mentioned Staff Lounge #3, everyone who knew her would tremble. That was the famous ¡®staff lounge¡¯ where she would drag in impolite adventurers to discipline them. After three hours inside, they will come out as a totally different men and completely docile women. However, thisprivate resting chamberwasn¡¯t all about violent re-programming. "Miss Dwarf lady. Not to be rude but, what''s that wierd smell?" "Air freshener. Jasmine herb." "J-JASMINE!? N-NO WONDER¡ªBACHUUU!¡ªI WANT TO SNEEZE!¡ªBUGFFCHUU!¡ªSO BADLY! I-I''M ALL¡ªKABCHUU!¡ªALLERGIC TO JASMINE POLLEN..A...aaaahnn..aaaa¡ª¡ªPIKACHYUU!" "...With all due respectMiss Adventurer, get out. I don''t want a pocket-sized monster spreading germs in my room. My immune system isn''t as strong as an Elf or Human." "I-I''m serious! BAKU-THOR-HEHMSWORUTH--CHUUUU!" 90% of the time, the Dwarf Clerk like to usethis secluded guild sectionas a temporary bed room, for her to survive the night shifts. To make sure no Jo-Blow would even dare about walking in on her when she was napping or changing into her uniform, she had this hook on the front of the door to let her hang a ¡®Do not Disturb or Die¡¯ sign whenever she needed it. Which acts as the ''arming mechanism'' to make the knob on the front door deliver 10 000 volts to possible tresspasser / peeping tom. Today, she converted that makeshift dicscipline chamber / bedroom into a classroom. Her one student, the Half-Elf Girl, was tryingnot to fell asleep as to how stuffy the small quarter was. ¡°Uughnn...Didn¡¯t you think about installing a window?¡± ¡°It can¡¯t be helped. I¡¯ve been trying to persuade the manager for many years to offer me a personal quarter to keep my work efficiency at an optimum level. For him to cut out a room right behind the kitchen gallery is already a blessing. As a regularguild clerk who has zero interest in warming up his bed or desk, I can¡¯t ask for anymore.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.Wait, that thing in the corner. Isn¡¯t it one of those air purifiers that uses magicalcurrents to draw in moistureand filter out bacteria and pollen from the room¡­Aren¡¯t those super expensive?¡± ¡°When you work with a manager who spends 90% of his work day doing this and that with his three secretaries, you get special leverage from both him and the wife.¡± ¡°I see. So essentially, you''re a regular guild clerk by day. But at night, you making your true living as a double agent.¡± ¡°Back to the lesson.¡± Miss Cogez cleared her throat to end their conversation there. It felt like a cliffhanger for the Half-Elf Girl, but she didn¡¯t press on. She could already see the serious and deadly look in the Dwarf woman¡¯s eyes that were hiding behind those exotic glasses. ¡°¡­Why do you look like you want to kill your husband for infidelity?¡± ¡°Bffffft!? Wh-who said I was married! Th-th-this how I always look when I spent time teaching children at the local school as volunteer.¡± ¡°Are you trying to raise little kids to think the world is scary and have them face the reality at the age of five!?¡± ¡°If you keep running your mouth, I¡¯ll punch your chest with my mace.¡± "..............N-not my darlings!" Once more, their conversation ended on that note, with a certain Half-Elf guarding her beloved bosoms. ¡°Anyways. Cough. As you see on the slides I¡¯ve projected, the matter isn¡¯t whether or not your character stats evolution is broken.You have to manually update it and invest the right scores into the stats you wish to grow. It¡¯s really a number game if you simmer it down into a fine paste.¡± ¡°¡­Is that what you say to most adventurers when you drag them in here.¡± ¡°Where!? Where the h*ll did I put my mace?¡±
<< CONGRATULATIONS! You learned a new skill: Sleight of Hand Lv. 1 >>
<< Seight of Hand SUCCESS. You ''borrowed'' Miss Cogez''s Iron Mace. >>
Pastrache tried not to laugh, as she intentinally covered the weapon with the cute @ss she was sitting on. When Miss Cogez couldn¡¯t find her favourite weapon, she gave up and continued. ¡°So in a nutshell, you have to add in the character points you¡¯ve accumulated from your past missions and battle. Please open up your character sheet again for me.¡± ¡°Like this? Open Sesame!¡±
Name: ---- PASTRACHE MOONEYE Gender: -- FEMALE Age: ------ CLASSIFIED INFORMATION
====== LEVEL:8 CLASS: (Class Selection Available, Please Select) RANK: Adventurer, Novice Rank 1 Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. CHARACTER POINTS: 358 STATS:
STRENGTH?? 9
DEXTERITY 12¡ü
PHYSIQUE 9¡ý
INTELLIGENCE 7
WISDOM 6¡ý
CHARISMA 12¡ü
SKILLS:
Professional Negotiator Lv. 1 --(Bonus Charisma Checks)
Housewife Level. 1 (Inherited Skill) --(You can cook Home Meals)
Poledancer Lv .1 --(Swing it Baby)
Groin Kicker Lv. 1 --(Bonus Damage to Groin Area)
Stealth Lv. 2 --(Ability to avoid detection)
Sprinter Lv. 10 MAX --(Bonus Dash Action, Double Movement Speed)
Rifleman Lv. 1 --(You can uselong Firearms)
¡°¡­It¡¯s Open Stats, but close enough...Wh-why the h*ll do you have a dangerous skill set like Pole Dancer Level One!?" "I-it''s not what you think! E-even now I don''t know how borrowing my friend''s shoulder to grab a crabpear ended up with such a useless Achievement!" "C-cough! F-forget it. I don''t want to get into more of your fetishes." "I DON''T HAVE A THING FOR DOGS! I CUDDLE THEM, BUT NOT THE MANNER YOU''RE THINKING YOU PERVERT?" "...Did you say something little child." "Meap! I-I''m sorry. I''ll shut up now, p-please don''t sh-sharpen your nails! I-I want to keep my eyes and my cheeks where they are!" "...Tch. Such a nuisance...Back to the lesson." "Fuuuuuh..." "Ahem. Now, you see that numbernext to Character Points? Think of it as coins. Now, you have to invest those coins into a company to make it grow and proliferate¡­.Meaning your stats.¡± ¡°Oh I see. I thought you were actually wanting me to go into business¡­Hmm¡­I wonder if I should open a mechanical repair and maintenance shop with Nello¡­he should have knowledge how machines like himself work.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯m starting to hear something I shouldn¡¯t be exposed to. Moving on.¡± One by one, Miss Cogez the Dwarf Clerk continued the small lecture. In clicking a button on a device in her thumb, she had thetraditionalprojector slide machine revolve its glass plates to display various images onto a blank wall in her room. It was summary of how an Adventurers would properly level up and spend their character points they''ve acquired over time. There was even two pages worth of safety measures that had to be taken account, but for the interest of time they decided to say they did it and skipped that part. ¡°So you understand what you need to do?¡± ¡°Um. If I want to become super strong, do I dump all the free numbers into my Strength score?¡± ¡°If you want to splurge your hard earn points, go ahead. Even if you threw in all of your coins into a single base stat like Strength or Dexterity, it will eventually reach a maximum of 20 until you level up again. If you spend all 120 points into that one category, only11 will be used and the others will be nulled. You would effectively be throwing109 points into a salt water pond.¡± ¡°Guh! I-I can¡¯t do that! N-not when I need it to fuel my other stats! Look how ridiculously low my Physique and Health stats are! I-I have to save them!¡± ¡°Exactly. So spend your points wisely. Not even a professional clerk like me could tell you what to boost and what to overlook. This all comes down to how it affects your ability in future combat and dealing with stronger enemies.¡± Pastrache took in all that information into her mind that had an intelligence score of 8, or sorry it went down its 7 now. In the end, she felt that this was a math test and she had to figurre out what was the best formula to use in various physics related questions. After thinking for 30 minutes, she made a decision. ¡°I give up. Can you help me.¡± ¡°Where is my mace!?¡± The Dwarf Clerk gnashed her teeth as she struggled to look for her beloved mace. She was small, about four feet, yet she still went down on all fours to peek under her office bed, desk, tables, and other narrow spaces to find where her weapon had went to. All the while, Pastrache switched her legs around to sit more comfortably, all the while shielding the said weapon with her cute @ss.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ She''s a Pirate! ~ You ''borrowed'' your friend''s item with every intention of giving it back. ---
<< You earned 500 EXP for Stealth Check. Congratulations, your Stealth is nowLevel 3! >>
¡°I honestly don¡¯t know where to begin, Miss Dwarf, cough cough. Would it not be better to watch someone with experience in this field to demonstrate~?.¡± ¡°Tch. This is a pain. Fine, I¡¯ll help you. But this is the last act of charity I can offer. Son of a b*tch, did I leave my mace outside or something? Sh*t, thatrod-obsessedCatgirlmust be using it right now to sate her personal frustrations!!Eeeck. I have to sanitize it thoroughly in withsteam and holy water if I find it in her bed!¡± Pastrache covered her mouth, as if to look appalled by this possibility. Really, she was hiding the fact she was biting her lips to keep herself from laughing while fidgeting in her seat. After Miss Cogez calmed down and smoothed out her dame''s bun, she let out a sigh. ¡°Let¡¯s keep this session simple. Otherwise this will take for hours. What are your normal combat tactics or fighting style? Duel Wielder? Wisdom Focused? Healing? Steam BikeMounted Archery?¡± ¡°Uh¡­Well¡­I like to use a crossbow.¡± ¡°Then you should strive to go with stats leading to the Ranger Class.¡± ¡°However, I find that my aim is terrible.¡± ¡°Given how high your Dexterity already is, I think you could make for an okay Duelist or Fencer.¡± ¡°But I still like to hit things from afar.¡± ¡°Maybe if you boost your Intelligence or Wisdom, considerably, you could take up a Spellcasting class and throw magical projectiles at the enemy.¡± ¡°And I like to have a weapon that¡¯s practical.¡± ¡°Make up your mind you idiot Half-Elf! This isn¡¯t exactly picking out a lingerie to show off to your boyfriend!¡± ¡°Geeegh! Wh-who would want to do something that stupid? A-and the only boy in my party is Nello, but given that he¡¯s a tank I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll get riled up if I were to go with the blue colored baby doll negligee.... will he?¡± ¡°Again, I don¡¯t understand a word you¡¯re talking about! Just make a choice already and get out!¡± The Half-Elf and the Dwarf Clerk were about to butt heads with each other, like bulls in mating season. Only instead of winning the affections of a maiden minotaur, they just wanted to cut each other throats out. However, given that character cheet improvement was important in this cruel world, they both came to a shaky truce and end up huffing in frustration. It was only after 10 minutes of cooling down her raging hormones, that Pastrache spoke up. ¡°Is there any class, you know, use a rifle?¡± ¡°A rifle?¡± ¡°Like those matchlocks or arquebus.¡± ¡°¡­Hmm¡­I think there is.But usually that¡¯s only common in the other Capital Cities in the East where men and weapon who specialize in long-range firearms are more prevailing.¡± ¡°So, could I still go for that class?¡± ¡°¡­Wait¡­I think that¡¯s a possibility. Since you might be the first person to pursue this category, I could work out a deal with the manager to give you extra bonus equipment and experience points. However, as proof that you are capable of fulfilling the requirement, I need you to show me something.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡­it¡¯s¡­35-24-30¡­I¡­I want to keep my first time for my future husband so¡­ please be gentle with my back door.¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m not my manager, please tie up your god-d*mn corset.¡± ¡°Oh goddess, thank you! I was worried I¡¯ll be walking awkwardly for the next few days as if a stick ran up my @ss.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± Miss Cogez stared blankly at Pastrache who was adjusting the ropes on her clothing until it was back and snug on her bosom. Once she pressed out the creases from her dress, the Dwarf let out a sigh. What happened next, decided the fate of our heroine. ¡°Do you have a matchlock at hand... is what I''m trying to say.¡± ¡°Not exactly. But what Nello gave me here kind of works like that.¡± ¡°¡­..What the h*ll is that staffyou have in your hands? Don''t tell me you''re like that rod obsessed cat girl too!?¡± ¡°BFFFFT!? O-of course not, I-I don''t..do that¡ªIt¡¯s called Moxie-Negligee¡­Wait, No, no¡­Mo...Mobile...Ah! I remember now! Mosin-Nagant! Yes. It''s a Russian Rifle!¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ ...Say that Again? ~ You stupefied a colleague with your big words. Bravo. Bravo.
The Boy Trapped In Front of the Volga -- (Thirteenth_Dreams) :: Dear Diary..... The Dwarf Clerk lady with glasses who calls herself Cogez is helping me to adjust my character scoring. So far, I think we¡¯re making progress and possibly breaking new ground in this custom class we¡¯re developing. It¡¯s based on both the aspects of Ranger so I coud still use my Stealth Skill, but applied many traits borrowed from the Musketeer class that allows me to acquire abilities involving firearms. I¡¯m excited. Once I¡¯ve finished my character sheet, I¡¯ll be able to use this new strength to defend myself. As much as I appreciate Nello protecting me like a big fluffy guard dog, I still have to put in my two cents and fight just as hard. It wouln¡¯t be fair if I leave all the hard work onto him, regardless if he is a tank¡­. By the way, I wonder if he¡¯s alright. I¡¯ve been gone for a while¡­ I hope he didn¡¯t doze off. Poor boy...tank, will catch a cold. ::
¡°THERE¡¯S NO MORE LAND BEHIND THE VOLGA! I SAY AGAIN! THERE IS NO MORE LAND BEHIND THE VOLGA¡ªGUAAAAAAH!¡± ¡°COMMANDER! THE COMMANDER''S BEEN HIT! QUICK, PULL HIM BACK INTO THE TANK AND STOP THE BLEEDING!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± Several men had quickly climbed out of the armored tank they were driving, only to grab a limp body hanging over the hatch of the main turret. With some heaving and tugging, they were able to pull their commanding officer down inside. They spoke in various harsh tones and shaking voices. Each and everyone of them speaking in a language that was foreign to a regular Elf, Dwarf, or any other otherworldly being. Russian. These soldiers were speaking in Russian. ¡°We have to escape! There is no way we can hold back the d*mn Germans at this rate!¡± ¡°There¡¯s a shortcut in the city where we could use the rubble as cover, but we have to move fast or else the whole Panzer platoon will overrun this sector!¡± ¡°Nyet! Nyet! No one is to run away! This is our motherland that is being invaded! Even with only 100 men against the thousand, we must laid down our lives and drive the Germans out of our lands! Those traitorous b*stards!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± January 12, 1943. The Battle of Stalingrad. In the middle of another reality¡¯s Second World War, there was a certain armored vehicle that was trapped in the middle of a city square that was bombarded by high velocity artillery and explosives dropped by shrieking German Stuka bombers in the sky. Left, right, forward, back. There was nothing but fire, destruction, and bodies that carpeted the floor. The corpes on the stone roads were either a dark brown color or a snow-white coat. One pile had a mixture of men with helmets painted with different symbols. One was the scratched Red Star. The other was a dull Iron Cross. As if to keep the sole vehicle company, there were a number of burning wrecks that used to be proud tanks who were now slumped dead in their own bonfire of gasoline and shredded incendiary rounds. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°Sh*t! The Commander is dead! What do we do?¡± ¡°Escape!! That¡¯s a no brainer, you idiot!¡± ¡°Both of you, shut it. We may be losing the war, but there is no way I will let those German take away our home from our fingers!¡± ¡°What do you suggest!? We¡¯re not professional tank masters like the higher ranking members in the Red Army Tank Divisions! You, driver, you were a sheep farmer who cut wool for a living. And you, gunner, a simple telegraph operator of a local post office. And me, pfft, I used to wash toilets in a local school! I''ve seen too much sh*t in there to have zero respect for our younger generation!¡± ¡°But we¡¯re here! All of us, regardless where we came from! We have to make our stand. Either you¡¯re with me, or you¡¯re not.¡± ¡°Dasvidaniya (Good-bye) and good riddance!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The lonely armored vehicle had its top hatch pop open. A man with a torn-up coat and uniform bearing the Red Star was trying to climb out. Only for two pair of hands to grab him by the collar and drag him back inside. As if to help its crew, the tank teetered forward as to close the hatch on the one escaping. ¡°Are you mad, tub cleaner!? Even if you want to abandon the army now, we¡¯re still in the middle of enemy territory!¡± ¡°Our gunner¡¯s right. We were supposed to break the German Defenses with a major charge, but we failed to keep in mind the anti-tank mines they¡¯ve laid out. Not to mention the snipers that took out our commander. Think man, if you want to live!¡± ¡°I¡¯m thinking. And there is only one option.¡± ¡°Wh-what?¡± ¡°Run to the Volga River and swim.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± The lone armored vehicle rocked back and forth, feeling the recoil of two hands slapping the back of one head. ¡°We have no other choice.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯ve came to the same conclusion with the driver. We have to fight them in order to live. Dah?¡± ¡°Tch. You are both crazy nimrods, you know that? I only joined the war to smooch off free Vodka and rations for my sister back in Moscow¡­F**k. If this goes side ways and I see a chance to run away, I¡¯m taking it.¡± ¡°We need three people to operate this vehicle. Without the commander, you have to be our spotter, toilet scrubber.¡± ¡°Gaaah! I regret telling you my origin! Come on, the Germans are advancing!¡± ¡°Right¡­Alright tovarisch (friend)¡­let¡¯s do this together.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..*Creack*¡± The lonely armored vehicle teetered again, this time mimicking the motions of nodding. All of a sudden its V12 Diesel engines revved up and it started to rattle to life. The vehicle began to move forward, shedding off slabs of dead concrete, snow, and rebar from its surface. One by one, the layers fell off to reveal itself to be a full-class tank, carrying battered armor and the engine coughing pitch black smoke from the exhaust. The turret twisted around to align with its front, revealing a 3 meter long barrel that looked like it had been firing for five days straight. A T-34-85 Soviet Medium Tank. With a brave, If not shuddering gesture, it was marching down the empty roads of Stalingrad. Alone. No back up. No one alive but the three-man crew inside its belly. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Hey, did you hear something?¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t had any food and water for the last two days, driver. Of course you¡¯re hallucinating.¡± ¡°Wait, no I hear it too tub scrubber.¡± ¡°Bathroom¡ªF**K!¡± ¡°¡­D-driver! Up ahead, I see movement!¡± ¡°Bathroom cleaner, grab themachinegun! Gunner, ready the cannon it''s all yours from now on!¡± "Tch. Dah!" ¡°Dah! Loading shell into the barrel!¡± The machine gun on the turret suddenly twitched alive and moved independanty from the tank body. It twisted around to face the front, and it opened fired. A series of chattering bullets rang in the air, enough to scared the sh*t out of anyone who was in its path. *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!!* So far, it hit nothing but fallen buildings and anabandonned car, ripping holes through it. ¡°¡­¡­.W-wait¡­Stop... HOLD FIRE! HOLD FIRE YOU IDIOT TOILET SCRUBBER!¡± ¡°Wh-what now? A-and don¡¯t pull down my pants to get my attention! The cold winds will cut my balls off!¡± ¡°I-it¡¯s a child! You were shooting at a child!¡± ¡°Hah!?¡± The tank choked on its engines and the machine gun finger stopped wagging. There was this eerie silence between the vehicle and where the spot on the ground was ripped up. ¡­A pause later, and a small head peeked out from behing a large slap of broken wall from a factor building. Scared. ¡°Wh-what is a child doing here in the middle of the battlefield!? I thought everyone was evacuated!¡± ¡°Idiot driver, are you really that na?ve? The entire German Sixth Army has cut off all exit around Stalingrad when it started to invade us back in August last year! By the time we got half of the civilians out, the Germans already fortified a full circle. We won¡¯t get any rations, water, or even ammunition from Moscow.¡± ¡°I-I think I get what tub scrubber is saying. She could be one of those who couldn¡¯t escape in time and are trying to forage whatever food or valuables are left from the ruins. It''s dangerous, but they''re desperate at this point.¡± ¡°But she¡¯s a child! A child! She can¡¯t be in the battlefield like this, what about the snipers?¡± ¡°Either she was too small to be noticed or the German snipers were sleeping after being trapped here for five months. It¡¯s a miracle they¡¯re not lying in a room as a half-melting skeleton...Wait no, as their enemy - I want that to happen spontaneously!¡± ¡°Who cares, let¡¯s just keep going. Ignore her, she is here at her own risk.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± The T-34 tank didn¡¯t stare at her. Rather, it just sat there while its crew argued over what to do with the child. The said little girl peered her head from behind the cover, watching the giant tank in awe. She bravely stepped out from her hiding spot. She was almost wearing no clothing. At most, she turned a makeshift pillow case as a dress and tied it with some rope around her waist. The same rope one would use hold back heavy curtains from the window. Despite how much soot and dirt she was covered in, her blue eyes were clear as sapphires. And they glimmered when they were staring at the large tank that sat in front of her. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.ahga¡­¡± The girl tried to speak, but seeing how black her tongue was, it could be the fact she had her throat infected from ash and gunpowder.Her vocal cords might have swelled to the point of being useless. Even so, she tried to say something at the tank. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The T-34 continued to sit on the spot. Doing nothing, absolutely nothing. The muffled voices of the three remaining crew members continued to bicker over a small matter could be heard through the 42 mm armor plating. The little girl too one step forward. The tank didn¡¯t move. She then took two steps forward. The tank didn¡¯t move. "....Aa.uugh...Geghee!" Clutched in her hand were various items she had fortunately scavanged. Canned beef and corn, some half-ripped blankets, a canteen (not sure if full or empty), and she was lucky enough to have discovered several bandages from a local clinic that was sitting in ruins five blocks behind her. There was a lot for her short arms to carry, but she still continued to move forward without dropping them. Barefoot, and bare legged, she stepped right up to the tank. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Augga¡­¡± The girl made a sound, but it made no sense due to her clogged throat. At first, she had this anxious look, but her eyes wouldn¡¯t turn away from that giant beast covered in iron. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.*Grrrrrrrrrr*¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Auagg!?¡± Suddenly, the 3 meter long barrel fell down. It slowly followed its hydraulic pattern until the tip of the barrel was touching the ground. It was like how a dog would lower its tall head for a baby to touch. ¡°¡­Auugssg!¡± A smile cracked on her bruised face and she couldn¡¯t resist reaching out to touch the lowered nose. Good doggy, good doggy. ¡°The f**k! Gunner!? What are you doing with the gun pointing at the ground? The earth isn¡¯t out enemy, the f**king Germans are!¡± ¡°S-sorry. You tried to strike me to win your argument, bu-but my shoulder knocked into the controls. I¡¯ll fix it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..*Guuuuuuuh*¡± ¡°Aagg! Aaaag!¡± The girl watched as the nose rose back up, and out of her reach. She tried to jump afer it, but she was too small. She looked like she was going to cry now that the dog raised its head to ignore her. ¡°¡­Aaugga!¡± The girl noticed something. The nose that was hanging above her head had something wrong with it. To a regular mechanic, it was minor to crew members like the three men inside bickering, it wasn¡¯t much a problem.But to the little girl on the ground, she saw how there was this deep cut in the side of the barrel. As if a scrape from shrapnel. ¡°¡­..Auugag!¡± The little girl did something very strange. First, she tossed down her items she had worked hard to gather. Second, she pulled up a roll of bandages into her small hands. And third, she started to climb the tank. ¡°What should we do with her, that child? We have to get her out!¡± ¡°Then where to? All the other safety shelters are either blown up by German Howitzers and subsequent artillery. Or have been converted into a make-shift militarydepot for the Red Army! Given our current position, we seriously have no more room in frontand behind the Volga!¡± ¡°There is no way we could let her ride with us. She¡¯ll be a nuisance when I¡¯m trying to aim the main cannon, or she would suffer major injuries if a German tank hit us from a blindspot. We can¡¯t risk letting the girl come with us into enemy territory.¡± ¡°Neither can we risk the little girl continuing her good fortune in rummaging out in the open! She¡¯s going to get runned over or shot by a sniper!¡± ¡°How is this helping out situation!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± The tank continued to listen to the three men inside of its compartment bicker. As much as it wanted to get their attention to what was happening, it had no voice. It¡¯s not like Russian tanks could talk like ayoung boy with some common sense, right? No, that would be crazy. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.*Krrrrkkk..kkrrkkk*¡± ¡°Hee-hee¡­Agagag.¡± Yet, it could see this little girl crawling up across its barrel¡­ and tying up the scratch on the middle of its iron nose with her rolls of bandages. As if she wanted to fix its boo-boo. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..*Crrrrkkk*¡± Hearing the creaking of the tank, she took it as a thank you in her own mindset. So she happily turned around to show the tank a beautiful smile across her soot covered face. ¡°N¡­nel¡­lo..¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* A high velocity round appeared, and it slammed directly into the side of the T-34 Russian Tank. Due its design, it had enough armor plating and metal sloping to maximize angle of deflection of an attack. So once the round tapped into its side, it was shot off in an awkward angle at the last minute and exploded right above the tank¡¯s head. When the smoke clear, only the blast score and the cut from the last round could be seen splashed across the Russian tank¡¯s side. ¡°¡­F-F**K! THEY¡¯VE BROKEN THROUGH THE WEST LINE!¡± ¡°G-GERMANS! GERMANS IN THE OPEN!¡± The three men broke away from their argument the moment the shell forced their tank to rattle like a turtle shell. They would all peek out into the thin open slits of their vhiecle to inspect the environment outside. About 20 different German Tanks, ranging from the killer Panzerkampfwagen IV and the cream of the crop Konigstiger II Tanks could be seen marching through the city block. They ignored the fact that buildings and old store fronts were in the way, they just plowed through as if it were a card board cut out on a movie set. Unfortunately, there was only oneopponent left to fend them off. That lonely T-34 Russian Tank. ¡°F**K! F**K! WE HAVE TO ESCAPE NOW!¡± ¡°W-wait! Where did the little girl go!?¡± ¡°Who cares about the little girl! She probably ran off while we were bickering. Hurry, start moving!¡± ¡°F-fine! Fine! I''ll start the engine. Gunner, get the main gun ready! You need to cover us while we escape and¡­Huh? W-wait a minute. S-somethings wrong.¡± ¡°Hey? Driver, wh-why aren¡¯t we moving? There¡¯s 20 German Tanks coming into our direction, I think 10 of them just noticed that we¡¯re just sitting here!¡± ¡°I-I can¡¯t. Th-the engine is shot! It¡¯s not moving even when I¡¯m hitting the controls at full angle!¡± ¡°G-gunner? The h*ll, start shooting!¡± ¡°S-something wrong with the gears too. Th-the turret isn¡¯t turning!¡± ¡°Sh*t! Did that last round knock out our systems! Hurry and fix it! ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The T-34 Tank was not broken. It was designed to withstand a good number of ballistic punishment before it were to go up in flames. Even then, it could still fire three more rounds before the fire blew up its internal cartidges. So the reason why the T-34 tank didn¡¯t move was simple. The girl that was sitting on its nose was gone. The moment the German Tank fired on the vehicle, the little girl had vanished within a puff of smoke. No one know where she went. No one was sure if she was alive. ¡­But if the tank had eyes, it wholeheartedly regretted to ''glance'' to the side. To see nothing but a rope that was used to hold back the curtains to a window. There was no body left to be recognized. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.*VVrrr¡­¡­Vrrrrrrr¡­.Vrrrrrrrrrr¡­.VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*¡± ¡°Yes! It¡¯s working, the engines are¡ª¡ªF*************K!?¡± The moment the V-12 Diesel Engines roared to life, the driver, the gunner, and the spotter ended up being slammed into their seats. Because the T-34 tank suddenly veered off the course of their hopeful escape. It started to charge right at the 20 German Panzerand Tiger Tanks that starting to hear its roaring. A reckless calvary charge. ¡°Wait! Driver, wh-what are you doing!? We¡¯lre going to die!¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know, I- can¡¯t fight the controls! I-it¡¯s moving¡­ on its own!?¡± ¡°G-Gunner! Do something?¡± ¡°N-nuuwooggg! Duck your heads, the turret is moving on its own too!¡± ¡°WHAT!?¡± The T-34 charged. It didn¡¯t have a strategy, neither a secret trick hidden up under its armored track sleeves. It was really no more than a man charging across No Man¡¯s Land, full of raw rage and anger. *BTOOOOOOM!* ¡°Holy sh*t! I-it took out the Panzer!¡± The Russian Tank leaped over a small brick fence and it fired a round directly into the face of the German Panzer IV that it was intercepting.The 76 mm round punched right through the front at a vulnerable angle,igniting the whole craft to up with a wild explosion,theenemy''sturret head popping up with its twisted barrel. ¡°H-hold on, h-how is it reloading on its own!? Wh-what is going on!?¡± Tracks spun in reverse, to avoid two German tanks firing at it from opposite sides, their rounds bouncing off a slant across the front. It then spun around to aim its barrel at one GermanTiger that was marching through the front of a store. Half way out, and the Russian Tank fired at its head. *FOOOOSH*. The round tore right down the 4 meter tank barrel, splitting it open like an arrow cutting open the first shot. The round shoved itself deep into the armored vehicle''s compartment stored with extra rounds, and everything caught on fire with a big boom. ¡°Sh*t! Sh*t! I-it¡¯s possessed! Something possessing our tank!¡± ¡°B-Bail out! Screw the Germans, let this thing take on the entire Third Reich! I don¡¯t care! I¡¯m not going to die in this sh*t!¡± "W-wait for me, you two! M-my arm is still injured from yesterday''s fight, so haul me out already!" The second the Russian Tank spun around to fly behind a commercial building, the three men inside instantly jumped out. They fell into a heap across the ground and started to run as fast as their worn legs could carry. They didn¡¯t get too far, a German Panzer tried to surprised the attacking T-34 from behind. It squished something in the process, but it didn¡¯t really care that it got its tracks dirty and squishy.. *BTOOOOOM! ¨C BAAAANG!* The Soviet Tank could be seen spinning with its rear. One shot connected across the rear flank of its armor. It didn¡¯t penetrate, but it was enough to rip off the plating from that area and dent its rear engine. The sound of a motor roaring was enough to tell the Soviet Iank it was still operational, before it turned its head to spit a ballistic at 680 m/s at the one who attack him. The gap was only 10 meters, and the round shread through the German Tank''s chest. There was no need for a fiery explosion to make sure it was dead. "...............!!" Several more attacking vehicles came down a road from an angle. They planned on surrounding the sole Russian Tank from three angles of attack, so that their other units could flank it from behind. However, the T-34 only had to reload and turn its head, aiming directly at a half-broken hotel building. *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* Its round cut through the last support of the hotel, forcing it to topple like a tower of bricks. It collapsed, their sheer weight crushing the leading two tanks under their weight, while preventing the third rear from moving around in the cramp road. *BOOOOM! BAAAAANG! BTOOOOOM!* One. Two. Five rounds belched into the air, and it slammed into the side, the head, and the front of the T-34 tank. It was enough to force it to spin out, its tracks shredded from the impact. With its armor plating ruined, and completely immobilized, the tank would kept trying to run its engine at maximum. But no matter what, it couldn¡¯t escape the fact its caterpillar tracks fell off its many shattered wheels. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­*kkkkkk*¡± *BTOOOOOOOM! RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!* The last Alamo. That was the best way to picture this tragic scene. With its legs torn open and its oil bleeding into gaps of the stone roads, the T-34 kept fighting. Reload, after reload, it kept throwing its ballistic shell at one German Tank after another. They either successful tore through their legs, sliced down their cannon like a sword, or simply bounced off their armor. With the machine gun following up on the carnage, one or two tanks suddenly stop dead in their tracks when the bullets killed their drivers. But that didn¡¯t stop the group of Tiger Tanks circling in closer. Their armor was enough to brush off the machine gun fire. Even a point black shot from the Russian Tank just left a small dirty dent across the front45 mm plating. *BOOOM - BTOOM - BAAAAANG - BOOOOMFFF - BTOOMMMFFF!!!* One by one, the other TigerIIs began their execution. They all fired at once, one by one, everything shooting at will. They kept reloading, firing, reloading, firing, until they were sure the T-34 was dead and down. *BOOOOOOONNGFFFF!* ¡­Still, another Tiger Tank had its head blown off, when a certain 3 meter barrel turned to shoot it right down the tank gun. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­*Creeaaaaak*¡± What was supposed to be 20 strong Panzer unit was cut down to Eight Units.Seven now that the lead tank was rendered inoperable with its tracks blown off its body. All because of the stubbornness of one T-34 Russian Tank. The surviving Tiger Tanks pulled up, wanting to take a good look as to who this idiot was that stood in their way. The Russian tank''s front half was ripped open to show the crew compartment, to their surprise completely empty. Oil bled out from its shredded engines, but even its naked wheels continued to turn in a creaking manner. There was practically nothing left of it¡­ Save for this awkward bandage tied in a cute bowtie across its barrel. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.*crrr¡­crrrrrrrrrk*¡± The German Tanks recoiled in shock when they still saw the carcass turned its turret head. They had trouble to understand how it still moved without a crew, or the fact there was an open wound across its skull. Still, they saw no threat in a weapon that was grinding metal on metal at the pace of a snail. Sadly, one Panzer merely had to roll up to block the angle of the barrel with its tracks. Like stepping a boot to a struggling hand. it allowedone large German Tiger Tank to roll up, plant the tip of its4 meter barrel across the head of the crippled T-34. A round loaded into the chamber¡­and an explosive echo fluttered across the ruined city of Stalingrad.
<< Notifcation: You are well rested. All Fuel Capacity and Ammunition are 100% full. >>
<< Your current Health Points have recharged to 500/500. >>
¡°,,,,Nello¡­.Nello? A-are you asleep? Nello.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­.Ah! Y-you¡¯re alive?¡± ¡°¡­Um¡­¡­Yes? I am." Nello snapped awake. He made some sounds like a child who was startled while he was sitting in his sleep on the floor. His 3 meter nose would flicker left and right as if to shake the sleep from his head. It then turned the barrel down to see a certain Half-Elf Girl standing in front of him. She looked up at him with those blue eyes that could make a sapphire gemstone jealous.
<< Nello received -20 Emotional Damage. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°Sorry. Did I interrupt you from a good sleep?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.No¡­I¡¯m glad you woke me up. I thought¡­Ahem. I¡¯m glad you¡¯re back¡­ You took too long, Big Sis!¡± Pastrache, the beautiful half-elf girl, bowed her head and clapped her hands in apology. She wasn¡¯t Japanese, but why the h*ll not. It increased her cuteness factors by 10 points.
<< You received +100 EXP from Persuasion Check. Your Negotiation Skill increased to Level 2 !! >>
¡°Aaaah. I¡¯m sorry, Nello! I didn¡¯t mean to be away for that long. I honestly thought I could ask some questions about my Character Sheet and come back. I apologize to have kept you waiting outside the city walls by yourself.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­N-Nello? What¡¯s the matter? I-I know you don''t have a face, but the way your tracks are fidgeting. Is something bothering you?¡± ¡°Um Big Sis¡­ do you believe in¡­. fate?¡± ¡°¡­.H-heh?¡± Pastrache gave Nello a quiet look, her hand slowly rising up to touch her lips. With red cheeks and shaking eyes, she had no clue how to respond to the boy¡ªer, T-34 Soviet Tank¡¯s sudden question. ¡°¡­¡­.Nello¡­Are you¡­ hitting on me?¡± ¡°Ah? D-did my nose hit you? I hope not. That would be bad if I gave Big Sis another head injury.¡± ¡°N-no. I meant¡­¡­. Never mind. Nello is Nello. I love you.¡± ¡°¡­ You still haven¡¯t answered my question.¡± In the end, let¡¯s just help the two ¡®lovebirds¡¯ end their conversation with this one word¡­ altogether now. One, two. Three. Dah (Yes). When a Half-Elf Girl is Reborn as a United States Marine OORAH! -- (14th_Evolution) :: Dear Diary¡­.. I levelled up! I levelled up! I levelled up!~?. I¡¯m a big girl now with a big bad@ss! You wouldn¡¯t believe how exciting it feels to be this strong! I¡¯m no longer a newbie now! I can rightly take on harder quests with more recognition now that my fame amongst the Adventurer¡¯s Guild had increase! My Guild Rank is now Level 2! Can you believe it!? Nyaaa-haaa-haa! One day, I¡¯ll become the strongest, the richest, and the prettiest Adventurer there was ¨C and I¡¯ll get all the hot girls! Nyaaa-haa-haaa! I¡¯m a lucky Half-Elf! I¡¯m a lucky girl! I got me a new class! It¡¯s me pride and joy! HEY~?! ::
Name: ---- PASTRACHE MOONEYE Gender: -- FEMALE Age: ------ CLASSIFIED INFORMATION
====== LEVEL:8 CLASS: United Colony Marine RANK: Adventurer, Novice Rank 2 HEALTH POINTS: 30/30 CHARACTER POINTS:0 STATS:
STRENGTH?? 14
DEXTERITY 19
PHYSIQUE 13
INTELLIGENCE 9
WISDOM 11
CHARISMA 16
SKILLS:
Professional Negotiator Lv. 2 --(Bonus Charisma Checks)
Housewife Level. 1 (Inherited Skill) --(You can cook Home Meals)
Poledancer Lv .1 --(Swing it Baby)
Groin Kicker Lv. 1 --(Bonus Damage to Groin Area)
Stealth Lv. 3 --(Ability to avoid detection)
Sprinter Lv. 10 --(Bonus Dash Action, Double Movement Speed - MAX)
Rifleman Lv. 3 --(You can use long-bodied Firearms)
Five-Way Shot Lv. 1--(Auto-Target enemy, fire five rounds simultaneously)
Anti-Infantry Shot Lv. 1 --(Deal large amount of damage to one target)
Silent Sniper Lv. 1 --(Proficiency in long range shots)
Demolition Practition Lv. 1 --(Capable of handling and deactivate explosives)
Mounted Gunner Lv. 1 --(Bonus damage while shooting from Mount)
[CLICK TO EXPAND LIST]
¡°Tee-hee! Isn¡¯t my new and improved Character Card awesome, Nello!?I''m now a United Colony Marine! Praise me!¡± ¡°Uwoooooooh! Big Sis is amazing! She¡¯s so cool!¡± ¡°Yes! Yes! Pamper me more! More! Nyaa-haa-haa!¡± The T-34 Soviet Tank wish he had hands. It was so he could properly clap for the Half-Elf Girl who was dancing, hopping, and doing what looked like an Irish Jig on the spot with a pretty and toothy grin. He would have resorted to using his machine gun, but given how it wasn¡¯t celebrating the victory of a big fight, he¡¯ll have to postpone that level of fireworks. Or else, he¡¯ll scare away the rabbit and his family. That would make the Tank feel bad. ¡°Fu-fu-fu. Now that I am a Level 8 U.C. Marine, I can go the distance! I can tackle any challenge or mission I choose and I am more than capable of defending myself in a firefight! It¡¯s alright, Nello, from here on in, I shall stand on my own two feet!¡± ¡°¡­..H¡­heh?...D-does this mean that¡­Big Sis, doesn¡¯t want me anymore?¡¯ ¡°N-no! No! D-don¡¯t wilt your nose! Don¡¯t wilt your nose! That¡¯s not what I¡¯m trying to say! I-it¡¯s just that, I can¡¯t let you handle all the dangerous fights or force you to do all the hard work like some servant! This time, I can help out and take the weight off of your shoulders...legs...tracks...Nose!!¡± Pastrache tried to calm the Tank from entering a state of depression. She would attempt to cheer him up by patting his nose, or trying to twist her face to make funny expressions. Such tactic was super effective towards crying babies. So far, Nello''s cannon was at half mast. It lost motivation to look up any higher. ¡°¡­Nello¡­Listen. I¡­Big Sister doesn¡¯t want you to get hurt because of me. Ever since that Manticore almost killed us, I felt bad for feeling so weak. I¡­I want to protect you, as much as you want to protect me.¡± ¡°Oh! B-Big Sis is worried about me! I-I¡¯m so happ¡ª¡° *FWWIIP ¨C BONK!*
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON. Dealt you -10 Bludgeoning Damage to your Chin. >>
<< Your Status is: Prone. Enemy have Advantage in attacking you. >>
<< Your Party Member is Revolting. Please seek out counselling. >>
¡°BFFFFGGFF!?¡± ¡°¡­Ah¡­S-SORRY! BIG SIS! I-I DIDN¡¯T MEAN TO HIT YOUR CHIN WITH MY NOSE! I-I''M SUPER SORRYYYYY!¡± Luckily, just luckily that Pastrache wasn¡¯t talking the moment the edge of the cannon slapped up into her chin! If her tongue was halfway in between her teeth, it would have been beheaded without question! This is why you don¡¯t talk while riding a horse in the middle of¡ªGBEFFYY [>x<]! ¡°Cough Cough¡­Ab-abu fabu¡­Icth habt fouub¡­¡± ¡°¡­Wh-what? I-I can¡¯t understand you.¡± ¡°Abu theb, abu faibu¡­Bont fuurbii¡­¡± ¡°¡­What¡¯s a Furby.¡± ¡°Faabk!!¡± No need to guess what that last word was, it wasn¡¯t meant for children to decode. The Half-Elf tried to regain her bearing while nursing her numb teeth (she still somehow knocked it out, don¡¯t know how). While she was recovering from the blow to her chin, she thought she would take a moment and open up Nello¡¯s Character Sheet to Inspect it.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°¡­.Bellosh Babus.¡± Somehow, the mystical windows was able to recognize what she was intending to say and opened up several windows that belonged to her tank friend.
Name: ---- T-34-85 ''NELLO'' Gender: --Boy (CUSTOM INPUT) Age: ------ 5 Days Old
====== LEVEL: 51 CLASS: Soviet_Medium_Tank (Custom Class) RANK: Red Army Armed Forces, Level 1 (Private, Non-Commissioned) HEALTH POINTS: 510/510 CHARACTER POINTS:256 STATS:
STRENGTH?? 999
DEXTERITY 101
PHYSIQUE 9999
INTELLIGENCE 10
WISDOM 1
CHARISMA -5
SKILLS:
Combat Tank Lv. 22
Heavy Armor Lv 100 (MAXED)
Soldier of the Red Army Lv. 10
Panzer Tank Killer Lv. 30
Armor Piercing Round Lv. 71
High Impact Round Lv. 61
High Velocity Incendiary Round Lv. 31
Machine Gunner Lv. 45
Anti-Beast Unit Lv. 1 -- (You have proficiency in fighting large heavy beasts)
Cold Resistance Lv. 1 -- (You are able to survive in cold climates, no health penalty)
Smooth Talker Lv. 3 -- (Your words have wooed amaidento join your Harem)
[Click to expand]
"...I seriously doubt the last one is a real skill, Nello." "What last one? I can''t see whatever you''re looking at without lowering my nose and blocking your eyes...I don''t know what you''re talking about Big Sis." No matter how Pastrache looked at it, Nello''s stats were already in the Level 50 range. As much as she was jealous at first, given the fact that she understood that he used to be a weapon of war in his previous world. Maybe the reason how he was able to obtain such a high level so quickly, was the fact he had to fight monsters that were already 100 times above his level. Technically, five days prior beingtransmigrated...hewould have been only a Level 1 in an intense war. "...Hmm. I need to step up my game if I want to catch up with him. It''s only fair." After she rubbed the soreness in her jaw, she turned to Nello and ask to sate a curiosity in her heart. ¡°Um¡­Nello. Cough. It¡¯s okay, I¡¯m not hurt but¡­Before you¡­ well were transmigrated here, what did you do? Back in your world?¡± ¡°¡­Well¡­Like I said before, I had to fight a lot of German Tanks that was invading my home. I was rolled out the moment I was assembled and woke up with my crew members activating my engines for the first time.¡± ¡°So, that means you had a pretty rough beginning right after you were born. I feel sorry for you, Nello.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay Big Sis. I¡¯m a Tank of the Soviet Army. My duty is to defend my country from enemy attacks¡­I¡­I¡¯m just disappointed I wasn¡¯t strong enough to keep fighting until the battle was over¡­ I wonder if my tank brothers who were being rolled out now have helped to won the fight or not. Hmm. I wish they were able to scare the German Tanks out.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Um¡­Before, back in your old life, w¡­were you able to speak?¡± ¡°No. Not really. I couldn¡¯t even move on my own without a four man crew to control me. I¡­I think I was something like a toy, where you had to play around with my control systems just to operate me in a fight. Even then, I couldn¡¯t speak to my crew like I could speak to you right now.¡± ¡°It must have been pretty lonely.¡± ¡°A little bit. Not even my tank brothers stayed to chat with me right after we were born from the factories. They had to fight on different battlefronts to keep the German Tanks from entering Stalingrad or other cities.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.You¡¯re very strong, Nello. So don¡¯t forget that. No matter what happens, we¡¯ll stick together. Okay?¡± ¡°B-Big Sis?¡± Pastrache smiled and reached out to put her hand on the front of the T-34 Soviet Tank. A sparkle was glimmering in her blue eyes as she stare righted into Nello¡¯s turret head. ¡°We¡¯ll work hard and climb to the top! We¡¯ll kick down any obstacle or enemies who try to stand in our way! With your fire nose and my new Marine Rifle, we¡¯ll win every battle we step into and walk away a happy girl and tank!" "Oh! S-so ambitious!" "I can see it, Nello! We¡¯ll become super rich from all the successful rewards we would gain! Nobles will hire us to protect them, royalty will recruit us into their army! One day, we¡¯ll make enough money to build a big strong house! Enough to fit afleetof cute bunny girl maids! And you will get a super big stable as your own personal chamber!¡± ¡°YES! BIG SISTER! I¡¯LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU! I CAN¡¯T WAIT TO GET MY OWN BEDROOM! DAH!¡± ¡°YEAH! THAT¡¯S THE SPIRIT! SO LET¡¯S GO ON A WILD AND BIZARRE ADVENTURE AND KICK ORC @SS!¡± ¡®URAA! URAAAA! URAAAAA!¡±
<< ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!! >> ~ What Would this Country Be Without This Great Land Of Ours ~ You made the Natives Restless with your Patriotic Speech. Vive le Revolution!
<< You gained +300 EXP. Congratulations! Professional Negotiator Skill is now Lv. 5! >>
Seeing the Soviet Tank¡¯s spirits up lifted with a flick of his iron barrel, the Half-Elf giggled as she happily turned about in a soldier-like twist and began to march towards the distance. Hup two three four, Hup two three four! ¡°Come on, Nello! For King, Country, and Cute Maids!!¡± ¡°Right behind you Big Sis! Dah!¡° ¡°¡­Wrong way Nello! This way! To the North!¡± ¡°Aye Aye Big S¡ª¡° *THWAK!*
<< Nello used 76 mm BARREL. Dealt you -10 Bludgeoning Damage, and -3 Surprise Damage. >>
<< WARNING: Your Health is now - 12/35. Please healand examine your reflexes. >>
<< You are Prone again. Please seek counselling this instance. >>
¡°GUBYAAAGGFFFF!¡± ¡°¡­Ah! Sosrry, Big Sis, m-my nose kind of¡ª¡° ¡°It¡¯s fine! I''m okay...Cough... Onward hoooooo!¡± ".....YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Picking herself up from the ground, Pastrache pushed off the dirt and grass from her clothing and happily walked onward, all the while her giant friend marched right behind her on its caterpillar tracks. Like a true born soldier of World War II, all the while singing the Russian National Anthem. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrI28-4Zi_E) When it Rains, Cuddle with your Dog or Cat... Boyfriend is okay. -- (15th_Respite) :: Dear Diary¡­.. I¡¯m lost. I hate to say it but we¡¯re lost. And we¡¯re supposed to reach a certain destination to begin a quest within a few days. If we miss the timing, the mission will automatically become null and I have to go back to the original city to start all over again. It¡¯s a pain, this system where the job in one town could not be connected to the other. Sigh. And it looks like it¡¯s going to rain tonight. Maybe if I run, we¡¯ll be able to arrive at the city before the first rain drop hits my face! ::
<< WARNING: It has started to Rain (HEAVY). Please seek shelter or you will catch a cold. >>
¡°...P....Pi....PIKACHUUU!... Sniff¡­ Sorry Nello¡­I tried to run, but my legs gave up the second my boots sunk into the mud¡­I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m borrowing your stomach again. Sniff¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, Big Sis. In fact, these roads look scary and grim, s-so I think it¡¯s best you stay inside my tummy until we reach the next town, okay?¡± ¡°¡­Nello is so nice to me. Are you sure you¡¯re not trying to hit on me?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand. H-how can my nose hit you if you¡¯re inside my tummy?¡± ¡°Never mind, Nello. You¡¯re just too cute.¡± ¡°¡­Big Sis is making fun of me again.¡± Pastrache stifled two things, a giggle and a sneeze. She rubbed her nose as she tried to dry her hair off with the emergency blanket she pulled out of the Red Army Duffel Bag. The Half-Elf Girl was hiding out from a bad rain storm, sitting inside the driver seat of the insides of the T-34 Soviet Tank. An open module that could allow four grown men to commandeer. It was spacious just for one Half-Elf girl a little under average size, but it would be quite cramp and narrow once four Red Army Tank Troopers were to cram themselves inside. Respecting Nello¡¯s body, Pastrach had already took off her boots slathered in fresh mud and left them in a small storage space that was outside of the internal compartment. So it was just her bare legs and toes curled up on the driver seat while she hugged them to her knees, squishing her bosoms to preserve her body temperature. "...Hmm? Big Sis, what was that noise? It sounds soft and bouncy. Are you playing with a rubber ball?" "BFFFFFFFFT!? I-I DON''T PLAY WITH MYSE.....I...I mean. Cough. I''m using the blankets to dry my hair. Th-that''s all. Yes."
<< You received -20 Emotional Damage. Your Blood Pressure is 200/200, seek out medical attention. >>
<< Your relationship with Nello has increased to 55%. You are now ''K-I-S-S-I-N-G''. >>
¡°...Cough...Ahem (stupid f**king useless screens *click*)... It¡¯s raining really hard out there, ahem, d-don''t you think Nello?¡± ¡°Yup. Yup. It''s raining worse than back in Stalingrad.¡± ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay driving in this kind of weather?¡± ¡°Um¡­Well, it¡¯s very bad practice to fight in the mud or snow. It¡¯s hard to move around quickly when German Tiger tanks are chasing after you, and I lose traction whenever I try to run or shoot. The recoil on wet ground always makes me miss my targets. And don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m made with a special metal that doesn¡¯t rust that easily. I was built to be used in rough conditions.¡± ¡°Rough conditions? That sounds terrible. To be born only to crawl through mud and bad weather.¡± ¡°Well, I was born to fight a war, so I think I had to be built strong¡­Just not¡­smart enough to survive.... Uuuh. ¡± ¡°Sorry Nello, I didn¡¯t mean to¡ª¡° ¡°No. no. It¡¯s okay. In fact, talking with you about my past makes me feel at ease. To be honest, the rain kind of scares me sometimes.¡± ¡°Wh-why?¡± ¡°My visibility is shortened and I can¡¯t hear too well under heavy rain. You never know when a German Tiger Tank or even an Anti-Armor Unit could ambush you. That¡¯s what always makes me worry when it rains.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.I¡¯m sorry Nello.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay Big Sis. If you¡¯re inside my tummy, I feel like I¡¯m invincible¡ªOH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!?¡± "Bugyfffffggg!?" Pastrache wanted to smile, but she ended up gagging on her own breath when the tank suddenly jolted to a stop. She could see from inside her seat the turret of the tank twisting left and right, as if scanning the horizon. To help with Nello¡¯s impaired vision, she would peek through the small metal flaps that were no bigger than a mail slot in your front door, to see outside. ¡°¡­¡­¡­.It¡¯s just a Warthog.¡± ¡°HEH!? W-WARTHOG!? I-I HEARD THE AMERIKANTSY FORCE WERE DEVELOPING THIS W-WARTHOG TH-THAT COULD FLY AROUND AT SUPER FAST SPEED AND CRUSH TANKS OPEN WITH ITS GATLING BEAK! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOOD! I-I DON''T HAVE ANY ANTI-AIR EQUIPMEEEEEENT!¡± ¡°¡­No. It¡¯s the type of warthog you eat for dinner.¡±If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°A-aheehh!?¡± The T-34 Soviet (status; Spooked) turned its gun barrel and locked onto the target it spotted through the thick rain. Darting out from the bushes was this giant pig like creature with dark fur and sharp tusks. It even had daring scars on its face as if survived a war with hunters, or it wanted to look cool among the lady boars. The moment it noticed something as big as a combat tank standing in the road, the creatue turned around and ran off in the other direction. It was only until Nello couldn¡¯t hear it¡¯s hooves anymore that the barrel fell to splash into the mud. Like a man collapsing to his knees and clutching his shakened heart in relief. ¡°Th-that was close! I-I thought the Amerikantsy actually finished their flying weapon!¡± ¡°¡­Flying weapon? What do you mean?¡± ¡°¡­................ Big Sis, you don¡¯t know what an airplane is?¡± ¡°Nello. Is that mocking tone I hear?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.N...nyet (No)....¡± The voice of the T-34 Tank was that of a young boy who was unsure about the world. His personality could be clearly defined by how squeaky his voice wentupon Pastrache speaking to him with narrowed eyes. Only for the girl to bit her lip from laughing like a baby hyena. ¡°Pffffffffft. Nello is too serious! Ha-ha-ha! You don¡¯t know a joke when you hear one!? Ba-ha-haaa!¡± ¡°Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!!! (TxT).¡± ¡°Sorry Sorry. But we¡¯re even now. So tell me, what is this airplane you keep talking about?¡± Knowing that the coast was clear and there was nothing else on the road, the armored vehicle continued down the path. It made sure to stay on plain and levelled areas, to avoid the risk of the edges of those roads collapsing from over-saturation and causing a minor mudslide. They were not exactly on a cliff, but with how raised one side of the road was, it would be a pain to climb back up the slope across wet grass and soft dirt. Espcially when Nello weighed 26.5 tons. ¡°Well. Airplanes are kind of like me, only small, thinner, and have large arms¡­Ah right, they¡¯re called wings.¡± ¡°Oh? That sounds interesting.¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah. Although their noses is different than mine. They have theselong wooden whiskers on them called propellers and when they spin really fast, they can pull the plane forward and even up into the the air!¡± ¡°Heh!? A spinning top that can cast a levitation spell!?.......... H-holy sh*t!¡± ¡°Yeah! Something like that!..........I think.¡± The Tank took a moment to look up at the sky with its 3 meter gun barrel. The heavens above his head was covered in dark grey clouds. They didn¡¯t look fluffy or cute at all, not like the ones that resemble lazy white sheep. Just staring up up there seemed to bring back more memories of his past life. ¡°T-tell me more, Nello! I-I¡¯m, curious!¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ The Cat Called Curiosity~ Your level of Curiosity is intoxicating to the point of being super dangerous... Please seek counselling. ---
<< Accessing NELLO''s INTERNAL CAMERA.................. COMPLETE. >>
¡°Um¡­Well, airplanes can fly high into the sky, even fly above the clouds if they wanted to. But I would always see them fighting. Planes used by the Russian Air Force and those from the German Luftwaffe.¡± ¡°Luftwaffe? What¡¯s that?¡± ¡°I think that¡¯s the German Air Force, but I don¡¯t know why they call it that. I would always see those planes with red stars or iron crosses, yelling at each other while shooting bullets at one another''s tails or faces.¡± ¡°¡­.Oh. So, they are were born for war too. Just like you, Nello?¡± ¡°Yeah, but they look so much cooler.¡± ¡°Why¡¯s that Nello? As you¡¯ve proven to me, you¡¯re quite amzing yourself with that fire nose.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Because the airplanes, look so free in the sky. They don¡¯t have to worry about getting trapped in the mud, falling into rivers when the bridge collapses, or have German Tiger tanks chase after you down 20 blocks. They could run even faster than me¡­I wish I was born a plane.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­Fu-fu. I wonder, if Nello was reincarnated as a talking plane instead, would you still have helped me in stepping on those Dire Wolves when we first met?¡± ¡°Of course! Even if I was thousands of miles in the sky, I¡¯ll still see Big Sis down below and come for you! I don¡¯t even have to step on them, I can just go GA-GA-GA-GA-GA-GA with 12 machine guns in my wings! I¡¯ll look so cool! Like flying ace!¡± ¡°Oh wow! Such aspiration! Who knows, maybe if you reach a high enough level, or if either one of us learns magic, we could transform your body into an this airplane you''re talking about!¡± ¡°OOOOOOOH! BIG SIS! TH-THAT WOULD BE SUPER COOL! If that¡¯s the case, then I want to turn into a MiG-3!¡± ¡°¡­A what?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the plane I keep seeing flying over Stalingrad shooting down the enemy in the skies and on the ground! They¡¯re incredible! They can do loops, cart wheels on its swide, and it¡¯s really fast! I want to be a MiG-3 when I grow up!¡± ¡°Yes! Let¡¯s work hard and level up Nello!¡± ¡°YES! BIG SIS!¡± Even though the sky was dark and gloomy, having opened the scene with a stormy evening, the two travelers bound by a strange string of fate could see a light at the end of their dark tunnel of pain and loneliness. Aspiration, determination, the fires in their heart burned loud enough to drown out the hard rain that beated across the armor of the T-34 Tank. They looked forward in grasping that bright future in their own hands. ¡°¡­Wait. Big Sis. If I get to change my body when we grow stronger¡­Does this mean Big Sis is going to transform into a boy?¡± And the conversation ended with a beautiful drop kick of a bare foot inside of the tank¡¯s driver compartment.
<< You used BARE-FOOT KICK on Nello. You dealt -0.00000001 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< WARNING: You received -5 Recoil Damage. Your Health is 7/35. Please stop and heal. >>
¡°OW! THAT HURTS, BIG SIS!¡± ¡°I ¨C WILL ¨C ALWAYS ¨C BE ¨C A ¨C BEAUTIFUL ¨C GIRL ¨C WITH ¨C BIG ¨CB REAAAAAAAAAAAAST!¡± That¡¯s all she wrote. [CHRISTMAS 2018] -- The New Celebrations of a Boy and his Dog, facing a New World ¡°¡­ Hey Big Sis¡­Do you know what Christmas is?¡± ¡°Um¡­No. I don¡¯t think so. Or, is this a rhetorical question to get my attention?¡± ¡°N-no¡­I really don¡¯t know what Christmas is¡­ but I keep hearing it among the crew members who once commandeered me, talking about it after the New Year¡­¡­..And what¡¯s a New Year?¡± Pastrache tilted her head. Usually she would frown or grimace whenever she faced a difficult problem. It was a bad habit really, to the point where her teachers thought she disliked her superiors (#BornRebel). Even when the teachers had a change of heart and pass out cookies, the Half-Elf girl at the time would be seen grimacing while munching on Gingerbread Dwarves. It was because she was still trying to figure out the answer to a trigonometry question in the previous class block. Yeah, she was that devoted. Now, in the present, she could be found sitting on top of a certain T-34 Russian Tank. Both of them marching through a road that wove through a large farmplot full of rice paddies. It looked Japanese, but everyone there was speaking Common, or the Queen¡¯s English. Shrug. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know how to answer this ridiculously impossible question Nello. I¡¯m sorry, I was never an expert in geometrical functions and gravity acceleration.¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry about that, Big Sis. As a tank, I have to learn some physics in order to properly fire my cannon in the most effective angle. Yeah, elevation of shell drop, range to target, and also how to stabilize myself when I¡¯m running while shooting. If Big Sis has a math problem, feel free to ask me.¡±
<< Nello used HONEST GESTURE. Dealt you -100 Emotional Damage. Please enter Summer School. >>
<< Your Relationship with Nello decreased by 1%. The ''Let''s Get Hitched'' Option is closed. >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± The Half-Elf had this flat look on her face. It wasn¡¯t sure if it was curious, angry, or downright p*ssed to the point where all of her emotions went numb. However, when the T-34 Tank hit a small pothole in the ground, her boot ACCIDENTALLY swung into the barrel of the tank¡¯s onboard anti-infantry Machine gun.
<< You used MALICIOUS JEALOUSY KICK. You dealt Nello -0.00000000001 Bludgeoning Damage >>
<< You are current alignment is: Chaotic Villain of the Day. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°OW! M-ME EYE! Wh-what was that? A-A German Tiger Tank!?¡± ¡°Oh deary me. My foot sleep. Ahem. Ahem. I''m soooooo sorry, Nello. Ahem.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Phew. I-I thought we were under attack. It¡¯s okay Big Sis.¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Two Faced Samaritan~ You somehow gained admiration from the one you attacked in malice. Are you a Sadist!?
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡­I¡¯m supposed to be mad, y-yet why-why do I feel so guilty¡­..Ugh.¡± The T-34 Soviet Tank named Nello had stopped in his tracks, turning his turret head around to scan the area. As a certain Half-Elf was sitting on his skull, he couldn¡¯t see this sour and twisted look on her that was a mix of jealousy and remorse while she kept mashing the [x] on every mystical window that kep popping up in her face. Knowing he was alone with nothing but hundreds of rice paddies surrounding him from front back, left, right, his 3 meter long cannon drooped in relief and he continued to march down the roads on his track. Maybe to make the guilt subside, the Half-Elf spoke up with an apologetic tone. ¡°¡­¡­¡­..About that question you asked¡­Could you, maybe give me more clues? I might be able to figure out. I¡¯m not good with counting, but I always love myself a good mystery novel every now and then. If my number one detective isn¡¯t Shylock Hemlock, it¡¯s definitely Detective Merdock of the Thoronto Constabulary!!¡± ¡°¡­Who¡¯s Shylock Holmes and Detective Dock?¡± ¡°Mer-Dock! Meeer-doooock!¡± ¡°Y-yes, Big Sis.... Hmmmm...¡± Across the long and empty dirt road the T-34 took a moment to scan his environment again. Making sure there wasn¡¯t any massive grey tanks hiding ina rice paddy, or maybe even a last minute U-Boat lurking in the paddy waters, he picked up the pace and rolled faster down the quiet road. Like someone who thinks they were being followed into a shady alley. ¡°Um¡­I was born in January¡­The Crew from my last life always kept mentioning Christmas in December, which would be the month before I was born. They always kept talking about the gifts they got from their families that were back in Moscow or fled to Finland and Sweden.¡± ¡°¡­Gifts? Like what kind of gifts?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­My Commander got cigars from his wife¡­The¡­gunner got a handknit scarf from his father¡¯s sister, Mr. Driver got a cup that read ¡®NOT A STEP BACK!¡¯ or ¡®SAY NYET TO FASCHISM¡¯¡­..Uuuh. The four one¡­ I think the spotter got a plunger.¡± ¡°¡­What¡¯s a plunger? A weapon?¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m not sure, my memory is vague on that day because they ended up fighting. I think, it¡¯s was a joke from his friend in the Eastern Front, about how he could clean school toilets again when the war is over.¡± ¡°¡­¡­..That sounds like a crude joke, Nello.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure. Maybe he used to be a janitor, I don¡¯t know.¡± Suddenly, Pastrache would see her friend¡¯s 3 meter nose drop down. It was like the shoulders of a child losing all energy to keep them up any longer. ¡°¡­¡­In the end, I-I don¡¯t know what Christmas is but¡­ they were really happy while they were talking about their family, the gifts they got, and the little post cards that read ¡®Srozhdyestvom Hristovym¡¯¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­A-hem.¡± ¡°Ah. Right Big Sis doesn¡¯t know Russian. I-it means Merry Christmas.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Merry¡­Christmas¡­.Ah! I-I finally understand what you¡¯re saying now!¡± ¡°H-heh!? You do? B-but I wasn¡¯t very clear.¡± The T-34 Tank suddenly slowed down, afraid that if he went too fast he would miss what the Half-Elf was going to say. If he had the function of deploying an independent flying drone into the air with some camera functions, he could have seen this bright look in her sapphire eyes. The gaze of a curious child who figure out the world¡¯s hardest puzzle. ¡°The Festival of the Shining Prince!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Who?¡± ¡°Come with me, Nello! This way!¡± ¡°Nuwoooh! D-don¡¯t just jump in front of me, B-Big Sis!! I-I could have ran you over if I hadn¡¯t stopped in time! W-wait, wh-why are you dragging my nose!? Wh-where are we goiiiiiiiiiiiiing!?¡±
Away from the rice paddies, taking a long detour from the country side, a certain Half-Elf ''dragged'' a 26.5 ton Russian tank into the middle of a large field. It was nothing but flatlands full of emerald grass all over. Trees surrounded the 100 acre land, like an army about to attack¡­ or, an army devoting themselves to protecting the line. ¡°¡­¡­Big Sis¡­I¡­I can¡¯t climb that scary looking mountain. I-I¡¯ll fall.¡± ¡°Sssssh. What do you see up there on the top of the Rock Spire, Nello?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..Um¡­..A house¡­with¡­with a big T and a circle in the center. ¡°That, is the very church where the Shining Prince was born.¡± ¡°¡­¡­..Oh?¡± Nello was standing in the middle of the large grass field. As there was not a speck of shrubbery anywhere save for the wall of trees forming a distinct barrier, he stuck out like a sore thumb across the grass. Standing next to him on her feet was Pastrache.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. The Tank turned his turret head at a small angle, to glance at his friend. She was eyeing something in front of them, with a soft smile and hands folded in gentle prayer. Nello would then turn back, to see this large rock mountain¡­. No, no, no, it was more like a pile of boulders hat somehow miraculously formed itself into that of a straight coloum, a tower of rocks so to speak. It stood about 30 meters high, a perfect cylinder if one were to measure it from bottom to top. A small cottage like structure sat on the perfectly flat top, holding aloft a cross-like monument with a circle in the center, made of wood. It resembled a bit like the Celtic style cross. The whole thing on top¡­. Was glowing. ¡°Nello. Did you know 1000 years ago, we¡¯d be standing at the bottom of the sea.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ HEH!? I-I CAN¡¯T SWIM!¡± ¡°No, no, no. 1000 years ago in the past. This used to be a great and vast ocean as far as the eye could see, with only one continent in the center.¡± ¡°¡­..Hooh.¡± ¡°The first continent was grand with so many technology and scientifice advancement...however many of the government officials and politicians became corrupted and always waged Civil War with each other. It would kill their citizens by the 1000s just so they could gather more land and power.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°In that old war, there was this small and nameless Royal Family, who didn¡¯t want to take part in all the senseless fighting. They decided to be neutral, even use their small kingdom to take in refugee. Unlike most of the other royalties, they devoted themselves to the Goddess of Faith, Light, and Compassion.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Oh¡­..But¡­ you said 1000 years ago this used to be a big sea and there was one big land¡­Wh¡­what happened to them?¡± ¡°¡­Those corrupt nobles decided to try and destroy their kingdom, they saw them as nothing but an eyesore.¡± The T-34 Tank didn¡¯t know what to say. As it was technically only 5 days old before it was reincarnated into a new fantasy world, there was not much he could do or say to interject in this solemn discussion. But like any good brother, he listened to his Big Sister. All the while staring up at that small cottage. As if to answer his question, the Half-Elf gazed upon that glowing house on the top of the tower of boulders. ¡°The Peaceful King¡¯s wife was pregnant. She was overdue for labour even, as she wanted to support her husband in helping the refuges fleeing from the war and slaughter. When the corrupt nobles attacked, her water broke.¡± ¡°I-is that bad?¡± ¡°Yes. It means she had to give birth right away¡­ even when their city was being destroyed.¡± ¡°Th-that¡¯s terrible¡­D-didn¡¯t the Goddess do anything to stop the bad guys?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The silence coming from the small Half-Elf felt deafening to the ears. Even if the tank had none, he still felt the weight of that void sitting on his tracks. ¡°¡­Big Sis?¡± ¡°Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage¡­ she was too scared for her husband, who lead his small defensive armies to battle all of the corrupt nobles. Her anxiety caused... problems¡­..Her child never had a chance to open his eyes.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°So, the Goddess of Faith, Light, and Compassion broke a law held amongst the other divine spirits. She¡­ gave her ownson to the poor peaceful queen.¡± ¡°¡­Heh!?¡± ¡°The Goddess sacrificed her happiness, and implanted the soul of her future child into the body of the peaceful queen¡¯s baby¡­ To reincarnating him.¡± ¡°¡­R-reincarnating!? H-he sounds l-like me after I blacked out from Stalingrad!¡± ¡°On that day, when the queen saw her son open her eyes¡­ she found him glowing as bright as the heavenly sun¡­. His light pierced through the roof, through the beams, and even into the skies that had always been covered in thick clouds¡­¡­ As if to declare a new era, the entire world they knew collapsed into a giant earthquake.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± Pastrache smiled and she knelt down across the grass. She held her folded hands up to her lips and whispered a soft prayer. She even touched her head, her shoulders, and her heart to pay her respect. ¡°The tower of rocks and the glowing church, is the only thing left of that time 1000 years ago. The only relic of that bloodied history that still survived the Great Cataclysm.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Whooooooa. But.... What happened to the mother¡­and her¡­ shiny child?¡± ¡°The nobles already took her husband before he could see his own son¡­Alone in an empty world with only a few survivors¡­ she started over, with her blessed child. Along with the new born King... they begin a new dawn of peace and prosperity to the future generation¡­¡­¡­1000 years later, I¡¯m here¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­.I¡¯m sorry Big Sis, to hear about that sad story.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a sad story, Nello. In fact, it¡¯s a joyous occasion!¡± ¡°H-heh? H-how is it happy?¡± ¡°Today is the 25th Hour of the 25th Day of the 25th Month. It should be reacting from the angle of the 10 moons coming into position.¡± ¡°¡­¡­B-Big Sis. If this is a Physics question, I-I don¡¯t know how to answer¡ªHOH! A-A GIANT RAINBOW!¡± When the skies above their head cleared, 10 beams of different moons in the sky fell down. They all struck the tower of boulders and bedrock. The Celtic style cross on top of the worn out church glowed even brighter, like a star that peeked over the horizon to see the new world.
<< Accessing NELLO''s POV CAMERA....... COMPLETE! >>
Hundreds of colored diamonds ignited across the blouders, coiling around in a spiral like formation. They glimmered from the moon light, from the cross¡¯s radiance, and blinked with different colors of ruby, emerald, sapphire, citrine, to even diamond white. Blinking, dancing lights, colorful waltzes. With the radiance from eacxh glowing stones, it gave the stone a deep evergreen sensation. ¡­¡­..A Christmas Tree? ¡°The story isn¡¯t about tears or victory over evil¡­It¡¯s a time of joy, rebirth, and second chances!¡± ¡°¡­H-heh? S-Second Chances Big Sis?¡± ¡°Yes! The time where even wars must stop to bow their head in prayer, where soldiers no longer see each other as enemy on this day and hug one another to respect who they are. To abandon the responsibilities of your hard life, so you may accompany your loved ones ¡­ The day to celebrate the re-birth of the Shining Prince, and to be together with your cherished Family!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Family¡­¡­Ah. B-Big Sis is¡­dancing?¡± That was right. Pastrache had risen from kneeling after her prayer and could be found hopping and dancing around across the soft grass. Nello wasn¡¯t sure, if the colored lights glimmering on the stone tower had any psychedelic effect or would affect one¡¯s mind with a hypnotic trance. But, every step the Half-Elf made, every swing of her soft arms, and the radiance of her smile, was too genuine to be false. The girl then stopped, standing in front of the T-34 Soviet tank and touched the front of his arm. The tank lowered his barrel, to properly look at the girl two times shorter than himself. ¡°Yes Nello. Family¡­.We¡¯re family! We¡¯ll be together, through thick and thin! No matter how sour the taste of defeat will be, no matter how bitter the roads we take will end up, no matter if we make a good or bad decision¡­ we¡¯ll do it side by side,both of us will share the triumphs and our spoils together! ... If worse comes to worse¡­ at the very least, we won¡¯t exit this world all alone.¡± ¡°B-Big Sis¡­¡± The Half-Elf smiled, holding back a soft tear. She reached up in order to caress her hand across the iron beast¡¯s long nose. She wasn¡¯t at all afraid. ¡°If there was one wish I could make before the Shining Prince¡­ is that I wish I could see Nello smile¡­and be free.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­And¡­..I wish that Big Sis will grow up to have a happy life¡­ become super famous, have a big giant house, and an army of bunny maids to serve you! Whatever bunny maids are!¡± ¡°W-wait a minute, N-Nello. Th-that¡¯s also another wish of mine! I-I just put your feelings above my own a-as my toppriority. Th-there¡¯s no need to use y-your wish to f-fulfill my secondary objective in life now.¡± ¡°I also wish that Big Sis will marry a good man and have lots of kids! I heard my former commander said he wanted about 30 when the war was over!¡±
<< Nello used SCARY IDEAL. Dealt you -1000 Emotional and Psychological Damage >>
<< Your Emotional Status is Prone: Men have Advantage in attacking your heart. >>
<< You are stricken with ABSOLUTE FEAR. Please seek out a Midwife for counselling. >>
¡°NUWOOOOH! SH-SHINING PRINCE IN THE SKY! SHINING PRINCE IN THE SKY! C-CANCEL THAT LAST WISH! PLEASE CANCEEEEEEEL!¡± ¡°¡­Did I say something wrong?¡± Nello watched as his happy-go-merry Half-Elf friend suddenly break down as if the sky was falling all of a sudden. She went from hugging the tank to grovelling on her knees and bowing her head at the small church sitting on top of the tower of boulders. It was like she was praying for whoever lived up there to ignore that last part about having 30 babies. ¡°M-my body will break after I hit 3¡­Th-there is no way I¡¯ll survive to 30!..........Hmm?Wh-what''s this cold¡­.Ah¡­I-it¡¯s¡­¡± ¡°¡­Oh! Big Sis, it¡¯s snowing! It¡¯s snowing!¡±
Pastrache paused when she felt something chilly touch the tip of her elven ears. Upon looking up to the sky with her tank friend, she could see the grey clouds sprinkling powder of snow all over them. Snowflakes gathered to form small orbs of gentle frost, fluttering down to the world. It wasn¡¯t a storm, but it felt hard. No sooner did she breathe three times, the trees guarding this sacred location were already covered in a fine sheet of white. ¡°¡­.Th¡­this is the first time¡­I¡¯ve ever been excited to see the snow¡­¡± ¡°N-Nello? Wh-what do you mean?¡± ¡°Um¡­in Stalingrad¡­ during the war¡­ it¡¯s always cold and always snowing. It would freeze my tracks over and I couldn¡¯t run away fast enough from the German Tanks¡­ Every time I see the sky drop snowflakes¡­ I would feel scared¡­..but now, I-I feel¡­um¡­um......Uuuuuh.¡± ¡°¡­Happy?¡± ¡°Yeah! Happy! Very Happy!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Pffffft. Now I really want to see Nello¡¯s cute face while he¡¯s staring up at the sky and snow. I know your grin would definitely make girls fall for you.¡± ¡°Ha-ha! I only wantyou to see me! Because I love Big Sis!¡±
<< Nello confessed his Undying Love for you!! You were dealt -10,000 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Your Heart Rate is 120 BPM. Your Blood Pressure is 300/300 above nominal. Please see a doctor. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__>> ~Shooting An Arrow in the Guy''s Knee ~ A boy confessed to you, he is down on one knee. Congratulations!! You will have 30+ Babies.
Pastrache turned red. Upon hearing this 26.5 ton war tank confess his feelings to her, she was turning beet red from the tip of her nose to the two tips of her pointed ears. She tried to hide it, by rubbing some patches of snow she caught with her hands to her cheeks. They melted the second they came near her burning cheeks. Even so, she smiled, and let one small tear drip down her small chin. If she was going to say it... then she''ll say it like true family would do! ¡°¡­Yes. I love you too Nello! You''re my bestest best friend!¡± ¡°Nn! Merry Christmas, Big Sis!¡± ¡°I-it¡¯s not Christmas, it¡¯s Day of the Shining¡­¡­¡­..Yes! Merry Christmas, Nello! Now, let''s go and get drunk!¡± ¡°DAH! DAH!...Wait, I can''t drink." Together, once more, in a brand new world full of cruelty, unfairness, and bitter laws¡­ the Half-Elf Girl and the T-34 Soviet tank laughed all the evil away from their hearts as they sat marched under the pure snowfall. All¡¯s well, that end¡¯s well¡­Dah.
Are you a Hero, or a Villain? Whichever is the Hottest Category -- (16th_Pirates) :: Dear Diary¡­. I had the chance to arrive at the next town a little earlier than expected. Thanks to Nello¡¯s smart thinking, we made a short cut by blowing open this passage way between some mountains that had been blocked up by a cave in some years ago. Nello¡¯s fire nose sure came in handy. Once I find the client of the quest we started, then all will be well. Wish me luck! Kiss Kiss~?. ::
<< QUEST STARTED >> ~Construction Assistance LV 6~
BACKGROUND: The Mayor of Carnegie Hall Town is requesting Adventurers to lend assistance in the clearing of the Carnegie Hall pass blocked by an ancient landslide. In order to take on this quest, you need to have a Minimum of STR 10, WIS 10, and CHA 10. You will get bonus EXP if you have Blacksmith, Masonry, or Demolition Skills. You must arrived within 24 hours of accepting this quest offer in your to meet with the client.
Base Reward for Completion of Mission: ----------------------- 10,000 GOLD Bonus Reward for Blacksmith, Masonry, Demolition Skill: --- 80 GP
<< Alert Notification: The Mayor has CANCELLED this quest. Thank you for your submission. >>
¡°F**king stupid, @sshole, cheapskate, donkey-faced, frog-bearded, muscle@ss--¡° ¡°Um-um¡­Big Sis¡­It¡¯s not healthy to curse so much¡­ Also, it¡¯s not very healthy to drink a lot of vodka while on duty. There were too many soldiers I saw back in Stalingrad who disappeared in the snow half drunk when the German Tank surprised us.¡± ¡°Ssssh! I¡¯m cursing that cr*pface client that swindled us of our prize money! That no good for nothing turtle sucking¡­F**K!¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t mean to be this scary or frighten the pure and innocent Nello the tank. As much as she disliked hurting her friend, she couldn¡¯t control her irritation and ended up stomping her foot inside the tank¡¯s crew compartment while she crossed her arms in the driver seat. However, the bitterness she felt couldn''t be helped. What she went through the first thing in the morning upon arriving at the town to begin this important quest, did not start on the right foot. In fact, it didn¡¯t start at all. ¡°That rat fink b@stard! We rode over 100 kilometer worth of mud and dirt to come to this dingy town in the middle of nowheresville just to find out what did our client wanted us Adventurers to help him with. But by the time we did see him face to face, he just up and cancels our quest altogether! D*MN SLEAZE BUCKET WOODPECKER!¡± ¡°¡­He said that he wanted us to help his construction team to clear our the Carnegie Hall Pass of all the rubble that was left in a great earthquake 30 years ago, so they could build a road¡­ How were we supposed to know the passage we cleared with my cannon was the same place.¡± ¡°Exactly! Exactly!? How were we supposed to know we cleared the mission before it was started! You think you woud get a bonus reward for accomplishing such a ridiculous feat, but NO!! Once he learned it was cleared and he doesn¡¯t have to waste money on his worker to open the road ¨C he immediately fired us the second we approach him.¡± ¡°¡­But¡­ he doesn¡¯t need help to open the passage¡­it¡¯s cleared before we saw him¡­So¡­I don¡¯t think the word ¡®fired¡¯ works right now.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care! He f**king looked at us like beggars and cast us out like children disowned from a noble family! And you should have see the smirk on his face! Now that his problem is cleared up, he didn¡¯t have to pay for our services!....I¡¯ll gut him! I¡¯ll gut him real good!¡± ¡°Uwoooh! W-wait! B-Big Sis! Y-you can¡¯t move my controls all of a sudden! M-my body is confused as to where I want to go! S-stop pushing th-the steeriiiiing!¡± The T-34 Tank was sitting outside the edge of a homey little town full of two story wood and straw houses. A small hamlet that sat in an alcove by the base of a large mountain, made of basalt rock formations that acted as a wall that protected the rear. The front was forcefully opened from being a narrow cave to an open space, as the town itself was already in the middle of expanding more houses, commercial buildings, and modern industrial factories that melted fresh coal, iron ore, and even the basalt minerals. It was starting to grow into an independant city than a cozy hamlet now. All of it was about 200 meters left behind by the tracks of the T-34 Tank as it was following the road to go back to the Capital City. Because a certain Pistrache was so p*ssed off after meeting the town''s mayor, she was in desperate need of a bubble bath loaded with scented oils and aromatherapy - right now. She was already trying to keep her temper in check, by stomping her naked heel into the clutches below her feet. It kept forcing the Tank to skid to a halt, move---skid to a halt, move---skid to a halt.
<< You dealt Nello -0.00000000001 Bludgeoning Damage. Please seek counselling. >>
<< You dealt Nello -0.00000000001 Bludgeoning Damage. Please seek counselling. >>
<< You dealt Nello -0.000001 Bludgeoning Damage. CRITICAL HIT. Still seek out counselling. >>
<< You gained 200 EXP from kicking someone. You gained Sadist Play Lv 1. Really seek counselling. >>
¡°Gyaag! Gaagg! B-Big Sis! I-it hurts! C-could you kick the blanket¡ªgegg! Instead? A-and where are you turning me!?¡± ¡°We¡¯re going around. We¡¯re going back to the passage where we took a short cut. We will leave this place entirely, AFTER we close up the god-d*mn route again.¡± ¡°¡­.Heh? Y-you don¡¯t mean?¡± ¡°Yes. We¡¯re going to f**k up their mountain, clog it up, and walk away laughing like heroes!¡± ¡°THAT¡¯S WHAT VILLAINS DO, BIG SIS! W-WE SHOULDN¡¯T DO THAT! WH-WHAT IF THEY GET SUPER ANGRY!?¡± ¡°They left me no choice Nello! Why, if you were there next to me, you would have seen how ugly that rat called a mayor was smiling at me! He told me he couldn¡¯t offer me the quest anymore. The passage was cleared by ¡®an Act of God¡¯ so by contract he is unable to fulfill the requirement to make it legitimate! And do you know what else he told me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What Big Sis?¡± ¡°No. You don¡¯t want to know. You¡¯re too pure. The last thing you need to hear coming from a girl, was how much he could pay me to suck his big fat ****...¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Let¡¯s blow up the mountain Big Sis!¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°I love you, Nello! Let¡¯s be great heroes and smite the villain!!!¡± ¡°URAAH! URAAH! URAAAAAH!¡±
<< ..................... >>
<< You and Nello are no longer Chaotic Vagabonds. Your alignment is: Lawful Justice. Go kick @ss. >>
<< Congratulations: You''ve been officially declared as Pirates with a Cause. Pillage that pervert! >>
Without any hesitation, the innocent tank and the gentle Half-Elf marched their way towards the passage where they had recently cleared. Although it was a shortcut to get back to their town sooner, there was still the original route they could use to return. It might take a day or two, but given the circumstances, a long scenic road trip back home didn¡¯t hurt. Not when they had each other to keep company. ¡°There it is, Big Sis! The Corridor Digit Studio!¡± ¡°Carnegie Hall Passage! Love and justice, here we come! Ready your nose, Nello!¡± ¡°Aye-aye, Captain Big Sis! REEEEE-LOADING!¡± The T-34 Soviet tank was designed for three major purposes: Destruction, Destruction, Destruction. Despite the definition being the same, each had their own raison d¡¯etre. The First Destruction: was to eliminate any and all enemy forces that stand in the way of the Soviet Red Army;The Second Desturction: was to lay waste to your foes in the defence of cities that flew the red flag;And the Third Dustruction: allowed the ability to bombard cities from a long distance and see the crushing of thy enemy, see them driven before you¡­ and hear the lamentation of their general throwing down their hats in surrender! DAH! That is what the T-34 Soviet stood for¡­¡­And that was why Nello took perch on a small patch of grass hidden in the forest edge. He had a clear and open view of the passage way that looked like someone sliced a giant piece from a square cake. ¡°Alrright Big Sis! High Impact Round is loaded into the chamber!¡± ¡°OOOOH!¡± Pastrache was inside of the tank. Although she had zero armored weapon training, there were many parts inside of Nello that was running automatically. She could see a metal case slid open to reveal large bullet like shells the size of her thighs! Her thighs!
<< Accessing NELLO''s INTERNAL CREW CAM for ''Travelling Reader''.................. COMPLETE >>
A steel grip like a hand bent down to grasp the shell, lifting it up from an internal comparment under Pastraches feet. Another machine behind her leaned over her shoulder, aligning itself with the extended cannon shell. A box of powder was stuffed in the back, and the shell was inserted on top. Various clicking sounds and spinning gears could be heard as the machine over Pastrache¡¯s shoulder clamped itself shut to what looked like the beginning of Nello¡¯s nose, the 3 meter long cannon.More gears and levers clicks, locking into place and adjusting its setting. Peeking through the flaps of the driver seat, she could see the barrel rising up, calculating the best angle of attack that applied the same science behind the bullet drop. The turret head would turn to compromise for course adjustment, and moved its tracks to find the best stable spot on the ground. The mobile artillery unit was ready. ¡°Target acquired. Locking coordinates into the calculator system. Attack angle had been adjusted and finalized. Wind speed is 12 km/h coming from South-East, South-South. Distance to target is 150 meters. Cannon is primed, repeat cannon is primed!¡± ¡°Wow¡­Nello. I never know you could be this serious!¡± ¡°Would you like to do the honors, Big Sis?¡± ¡°H*ll yes!¡± The Half-Ef girl who didn¡¯t fully understand what a World War 2 tank was, instantly leaned straight into the gunner seat and grasped the handle that resembled the trigger of a crossebow. She saw a pair of black goggles fused into the handle, so she ducked her head to seal her eyes onto it. To her shock, she had a magnified view of the Basalt rock formation up ahead. The targeting reticle was focused on one side of the formation that had the most rocks leaning out from the base of the hill. If someone were to knock it out of place, it would surely cause another epic land slide like it had 30 years ago. Maybe. ¡°Ready Nello! Let¡¯s make history as the strongest heroes!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s do it, Big Sis!¡± ¡°READY!¡± ¡°AIM!¡± ¡°FI¡ª¡° *BTOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOM!*
<< Your status is: AWESTRUCK TERROR. Your INT and WIS have temporarily decreased by 1. >>
<< Nello''s 76 mm CANNON is charged. Would you like to fire? (Y/N) >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­H¡­hey¡­¡­.Nello¡­I didn¡¯t know you can sneeze without shaking your body.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Th¡­that wasn¡¯t me this time.¡± ¡°¡­Ah!?¡± Pastrache pushed open the hatch across the top of the turret. She wasn¡¯t able to believe her own eyes as to what she saw, so she rubbed the dirt out from her eyes. Only to be slapped in the face by a wave of rock and dust. ¡°Ptooooo! Puuuu! Pffffuuu! Wh-what happened? A-are you sure you didn¡¯t shoot Nello?¡± ¡°N-no! I was waiting for you to pull the trigger!¡± ¡°I-I didn¡¯t get a chance to squeeze it when something went off¡­So¡­.What?¡± ¡°¡­B¡­Big Sis¡­ look¡­¡± The Half-Elf Girl coughed out the dust from her mouth, before she braced herself across the top of the turret. In the distance, between the Basalt Rock formation of Carnegie Hall Pass, there was this large dusty explosion that filled the gaps. It was too distorted from small fires and heavy dirt clouds, it made it hard for even Pastrache¡¯s Elven sight to look properly. ¡°B-big Sis! I think there is a pair of binoculars inside me! The spotter who cleans bathrooms always kept it under his chair in case he lost his first pair!¡± ¡°R-right! Uh. Rhino Cult!¡± ¡°¡­Binoculars.¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t care to what Nello said and duck down. She bent her well curved body inside the tight space, searching under everyone¡¯s seats. When she found something that look like an awkward looking telescope that was broken in half and put together to mimic eye glsses. She picked it up and stood back out the hatch. ¡°¡­Um¡­I look through the big eyes or the little ones?¡± ¡°Little! Little!¡± The Half-Elf didn¡¯t waste any more time for a comedy act with this next tool, and she looked through the narrow eyepiece to inspect the inside. Like the cannon gun, this could magnified her sights twice the power of even her Elven bloodline. She had a better look as to what was going on, she could even make out figures in the dust clouds that were starting to fade. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Oh¡­my goddess.¡± ¡°Wh-what? What is it Big Sis? D-did we really shoot the mountain but didn¡¯t know?¡± ¡°N-no. Th-that was a premade explosion with gunpowder kegs!....And¡­ oh no¡­¡± ¡°¡­What Big Sis?¡± ¡°¡­..Mercenaries¡­There¡¯s Mercenary attacking the construction people!¡± When a Cute Half-Elf and Tank Boy Tests the Renown 24 Foot Rule -- (17th_Battle) :: Dear Diary¡­.. I dislike men. They always want to get in between a girl¡¯s legs. I¡¯ve met too many boys in my home village where they would offer me presents and toys, even expensive candy I could never get, just so they could get me to undress and ¡®play doctor¡¯ with me. I don¡¯t know why, but they always come fawning over me instead of the other girls. I¡­I hate to say it, but Janina Samuels in Class Harpy-B had knockers bigger than my fist while I¡­..I couldn¡¯t even win mother¡¯s cutting board¡ªd*mn it! Maybe it¡¯s the fact that I later realize, how every boy and men in my village have this fetish for Elf girls. I was the only one with pointy ears, even as a Half-blood. So I promised myself¡­I¡¯ll only chase after cute bunny girls. Yes. ::
<< WARNING: Incoming Enemy Fire. Please initiate Evasive Maneuvers. >>
<< A Mercenary Lv 11 used SWORD STRIKE. Dealt you -10 Slashing Damage. >>
<< You defeated Mercenary Lv. 11 by shooting him in the groin. You gained +350 EXP. >>
¡°Nello! Behind you!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me, Big Sis! Stay next to me! I¡¯ll cover for you!¡± Nello revved his engine at full power and charged, backwards. He sped his tracks hard enough to kick up dust and dirt to smack into a pair of men in leather armor and bandoliers carrying exotic looking steel crossbow bolts. The tank quickly darted in reverse until it screeched to a halt, blocking several arrows from hitting Pastrache who had tripped fell to the ground. The tank barrel quickly turned its head, yelling back with his machine gun in the skull and dropped several of the mercenaries that were trying to capture the Half-Elf. When the coast was clear enough, it dropped its barrel to allow Pastrache to boost herself to her feet like a railing on a ladder. ¡°I love you Nello! You¡¯re the best!¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay Big Sis, they¡¯re not as scary as German Tiger tanks! I-I th-think can do this!¡± Pastrache nodded and patted the tank¡¯s barrel like a loyal warhound. She then planted her back against his armored side and held up her weapon.
<< Your position is syncronized with your Party Member, Nello. >>
<< You gain +90 Bonus Defence and Moving Cover. >>
"F-for once, I never thought I would be happy to see these useless messages popping up in front of my eyes?" "What was that Big Sis?" *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!!* "You''re doing a good job, Nello! Keep up the pressure!" "Aye-aye!" *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!!* Pastrache quickly pushed aside the mystical windows to clear her vision and brought up her strange weapon. The Mosin-Nagant M91 Rifle. Now with her newly acquired Custom Class christened the United Colony Marine, she was given special bonus, skills, and privledges to use high-level exotic firearms like advanced matchlocks and arqubues. At the same time, she gets extra benefits in combat when she wields something like the Soviet Mosen-Nagant bolt action rifle which she held like a spear. Remembering how she used it before, she braced it across her shoulder like she would her crossbow. She spread her legs apart to stable herself, pressed her cheek across the sleek wooden stock, and took in three deep breaths. ¡°......Phuuuu.....F**K YOU!¡± She pulled the trigger and felt the bullet launch, and the rifle kicking into her shoulder. *BANG!* The Half-Elf then relied on her friend¡¯s large body to support her recoil, keeping her from falling on her back. Although she had skills to dampen the aftereffects of firing this powered rifle, her natural body wasn¡¯t used to something with high kick.
<< Accessing COMBAT CAMERA for ''Travelling Reader'' .................... COMPLETE >>
But unlike her crossbow with little recoil, she smiled when she saw her shot cut through the throat of a mercenary sniper!
<< You dealt -100 Piercing Damage to Mercenary Lv 13. >>
<< You defeated Mercenary Lv 13 with one shot. Congratulations, you gained +500 XP. >>
---- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Head Shot? ~ First Take. First Try
¡°YES! SCORED MY FIRST KILL!¡± ¡°Good work, Big Sis¡ªWATCH OUT!¡± Pastrache¡¯s pointed ears twitched. Even without having to touch her ear to the ground, she could hear the sound of beating horse hooves coming around a corner. She peeked over her friend the tank to look at the other side of the rock formation. Right on time, there was a horde of men in leather armor riding on war camels with horns on their forehead. They let out a violent mewl that would scare a Bengel Tiger with its tail in between its legs, and they all came into. It definitely was a: Sh*t!It''s the Calvary! - moment ¡°Nello! Are you still loaded?¡± ¡°Yes, Big Sis!¡± ¡°GIVE IT TO THEM!¡± ¡°ACQUIRING NEW TARGET! ADJUST COURSE VECTOR! LOCKED! ATAKA! ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
<< Accessing MERCENARY POV for ''Travelling Reader''............. COMPL----OH SH*T! >>
The Half-Elf ducked when she felt her friend violently bucked backwards the second his barrel ignited. She only heard this high pitched whistling sound, and soon the entire war camel calvary just exploded into a pink mist.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Those who survived the initial shot were either knocked over by flying corpses, or struck off their mounts from the shockwave of the shell breaking the sound barrier. Any other mercenary near by hidden in the walls clapped their ears, rolling around in pain. Fortunately, Pastrache had already plugged her ears with thick pieces of cloth in them.
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON. Dealt -9999 Piercing, Bludgeoning, and Fire Damage >>
<< Enemy Mercenary Calvary is on Fire. They are Prone, you have Advantage over them. >>
<< Mercenary Calvary Wave 1 are defeated. You all get +1000 EXP. >>
¡°Good work Nello!¡± ¡°¡­A-achuuu! Th-thank you Big Sis!¡± She didn¡¯t know if she got used to the howl of the cannon or her makeshift ear plugs she used from torn pieces of her skirt beforehand were effective. Pastrache soon regained her hearing and was still able to here a bear minimum of what was going on while plugged. She kept them in her ear, in case Nello had to fire again. While she braced herself in a shooter stance and fired at another Mercenary with a crossbow, she could hear Nello shouting at her. ¡°Big Sis! Wh-what do we do with those people! Th-they¡¯re getting trapped in the crossfire!¡± ¡°Sh*t! To think it came to this!¡± The Half-Elf and Tank turned to one side of the battlefield. In the middle of the passage, right before the remains of the old blockage started, there was a series of wooden buildings that had been built over some time. It looked like a factory, or lodge for people who worked on this side of the mountain. There were many men and woman wearing yellow hard hats that were curled up in the debris, remains of when Nello blasted through the rocks as a shortcut earlier in the morning whenever everyone was still in their beds. Trapped in the battle, they were all keeping their bodies low across the ground, to avoid enemy fire or to just keep hidden. The Half-Elf would look around, and saw several more people with uniforms and hard hats running in the open. They must have been working around the area right before the initial gunpowder explosion took them by surprise. Some bull drawn wagons were flipped and their animals were gored from the blast, along with several other bodies. Pastrache swallowed her saliva upon seeing some of the mercenary chasing them down, slashing them with their scimitars or shooting them in the back with their repeating crossbows. ¡°¡­Nello. We have to get them out of here. There is no way both of us can take on a small army.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Big Sis. I¡¯ve dealt with soldiers on the ground before! If I keep shooting my machine gun, they¡¯ll eventually give up and run away!¡± ¡°But the target isn¡¯t us! It¡¯s those workers! The moment they kill everyone they¡¯ll flee! We¡¯re not the objective!¡± ¡°¡­Oh¡­Wh-what should I do?¡± ¡°Uuuuuh. How many people can you fit?¡± ¡°Um. Supposed to be four people. One driver, onegunner, one spotter or radio operator, and most importantly the Tank Commander.¡± ¡°How about 12 women and children?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Um¡­.I think so?¡± ¡°Good. Those workers must be practically living here to save trouble walking back and forth from their village to this site. They even brought their familes here! Tch! This means they didn¡¯t expaect to be attacked by these guys! This is the worst possible situation!¡± ¡°Tell me what to do, Big Sis! I¡¯ll listen to you!¡± ¡°Onward! Give me cover and press towards those group of people! We have to protect the women and children first!¡± ¡°ROGER! ADVANCING!¡± Nello revved up his engines once more and went into full action. Instead of moving at full speed, he went half speed so that Pastrache could keep up with him while he ¡®tanked¡¯ all the enemy crossbow fire. It took them a painful 10 minute before Nello was able to park himelf against the rocks and in front of the crowd of construction workers that were hidden in the boulders. ¡°N-no! D-don¡¯t shoot us!¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright! I¡¯m here to help you so d-don¡¯t look at me as if I¡¯m the scary enemy!¡± ¡°Please! I beg of you, eat me instead of my child!¡± ¡°Are you even listening to me!? I¡¯m and Adventurer! I¡¯m here to help you to escape this predicament! Pay attention!¡± The Half-Elf Girl clenched her teeth, but ended up squeaking when one crossbow bolt flew right over her the bare tip of her ear. It nearly gave her an unwanted ear pierce. ¡°GET DOWN! ¨C F**K YOU¡± After telling the first half of her sentence to the construction works, she spun around to bark the latter half who was taking pot shots at her with his silver crossow.She quickly held up her rifle, aligned her iron sight on his head, pulled the bolt to reload, and squeezed the trigger. *BANG!* ¡°Oh no! B-Benny! Don¡¯t look! I-it¡¯s too much for you to see!¡± ¡°¡­Tch. Missed his head.¡± The mercnery could be seen keeling over and falling of his perch, grasping onto his crotch for some reason. ¡°Alright, listen to me and listen carefully! I need all the women and children to climb inside my friend!!¡± Everyone stared at her, as if she was an idiot¡­ or insane. ¡°¡­Him. Nello.¡± They all turned to the giant armored vehicle. He kept turning his head to shoot back with his machine gun to clear the offensive. When he had the chance, he rotated the turret to them¡­and waved his cannon up and down. ¡°Um...Hello.¡± ¡°B-enny! D-don¡¯t stare at him! A-and put your hand down! H-he¡¯s not really waving at you so don¡¯t bother waving him back!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.I¡¯m hurt¡ªGUBYAAAH! TH-THELADY EVEN THREW A ROCK AT ME! B-BIG SIS! TH-THEY''RE BULLYING MEEEE!¡± Like a good Big Sister, Pastrache stepped in to defend her ''little brother'' tank. ¡°YOU F**KING DING BATS!? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN BREATHING IN THOSE MINES! DON¡¯T STONE HIM, HE¡¯S NOT A MONSTER! HE¡¯S MY FRIEND! TELL HIM NELLO!¡± ¡°Um¡­N-nice to meet you. I-I am Nello, serial number T-34-85 of the Soviet Tank Division¡­Um¡­I¡¯m five days old. Please to make your¡ªGUBYAFFFF! MY NOSE!¡± ¡°STOP THROWING ROCKS YOU WITLESS MOTHER!¡± ¡°KEEP THAT BEAST AWAY FROM MY BOY! I WILL NOT HAVE MY CHILD BECOME YOUR SLAVE! BENNY, i TOLD YOU STOP WAVING AT IT! THAT CREATURE IS CURSEF! NOW BACK! SHOO! GO AWAY MONS---¡° ¡°You call my friend a monster one more time, and I will personally shove that rockyou''re holding - right up your @ss!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Cough.¡±
<< You persuaded CRAZY MINER LADY to stop attacking your friend. >>
<< You gained +500 EXP for Tactile Persuasion. Your Professional Negotiator Skill is now Level 5!! >>
Pastrache glared at one of the women who casually dropped a large rock that was as big as her child¡¯s head. She then curled her son into an protective embrace, while crouching in font of other men and women who were clutching their own children close to their bodies. It was like, the story of Hansel and Gretel just got real on IMAX 3D. ¡°¡­¡­..I don¡¯t care if you don''t trust us. I don¡¯t care if you hate our guts. I don¡¯t care if you think my friend is beast that will gobble all of your little ones up.¡± ¡°¡­B-Big Sis. I-I don¡¯t¡ª¡° ¡°If anyone doesn¡¯t want to die at the hand of those bandits, raise your hands and shut up!¡± Hands were raised, but followed with loud sounds as if to start a revolution.So the Half-Elf simply rested her Mosin-Nagant across her slender shoulder and tried again. ¡°Anyone who doesn¡¯t want me to stomp on their family jewels or shove rocks up their rear ends as a new fetish, raise your hand and shut up.¡± Everyone raised their hands, save for the children. Because they haven¡¯t even learned their A-B-Cs yet, let alone sensitive things like ''Family Jewels'' and ''Rear Ends'' or ''Fetish.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ All Hail the Mistress~ You somehow obtained the position of Professional Dominatrix. Enjoy making people suffer in wierd pleasure and get a lovely whip.
"... I honestly hate this useless window system. Tch." There is No More Land Behind the Volga -- (18th_Exit) :: Dear Diary¡­ I walways wanted to become a great hero. It¡¯s been my dream since I was a wee lass, as my mother would call me. I wanted to grow up, tall and beautiful, clad in silver armor and a rainbow dress. I dreamt I would find this legendary sword stuck in a stone and be able to swing around while screaming ¡®EX-CALIBUUUUUUUUUR!¡¯ and become the king of a new country! An Elf Knight! Like my father¡­¡­¡­..like my father¡­. Funny¡­to think that I would follow in his footsteps despite the fact he left home without so much as a goodbye or even a word of scorn¡­¡­..As much as I am conflicted in following his shadow, I think I wouldn¡¯t feel comfortable becoming a world class ballerina like my mother¡­ I hate too-toos. ::
<< WARNING!!: Nello''s passenger capacity has exceeded the maximum weight load. >>
<< Your Party Member is carrying too much be able to run. Discard unneeded items. >>
¡°B¡­Big Sis¡­N-no more¡­I-I''m too full...uuugh... I''mgoing to burst¡­.¡± ¡°Just three more children and one disgruntled mother! Have everyone inside cram up as much as they can then we¡¯re good!¡± ¡°I¡­uuuh¡­.m¡­my tummy huuuuuurts!¡± Nello theRussian Tank tried not to groan like a pregnant woman, but it couldn¡¯t be helped. Even when he was being shot at by countless mercenaris with fast-loading crossbows into his armor, they had zero effect and did little to damage his42 mmanti-infantry plating. It was the fact Pastrache crammed in 15 women and children into whatever space wasoriginally meantfor four fully grown men in a military organization. If those original crew thought it was cramped, wait until they see this scene where only professional clowns could shimmy their bodies into a small car. ¡°Okay! Last one! I¡¯ll close the door and¡ªOooh no you don¡¯t buster!!I don¡¯t care if you got make up and wearing a long wig!You¡¯re a guy! It¡¯s obvious with that pocket in between your legs! Now get away from the door or I¡¯ll slap you!¡± ¡°H-huurrry¡­I-I¡¯m going to¡­..Uuurk.¡± ¡°H-hold on, Nello! Wh-what every you don''t... eject them out!¡± Pastrache slammed the door, ignoring the squeak from a certain housewife who threw rocks at Nello earlier. As a safety measure, she pushed the gears to locked the side door of the vehicle so no one will burst out like a ripe salmon about to spawn her eggs. ¡°Okay! Go! Go! We¡¯re right behind you Nello!¡± ¡°O-okay B-big Sis¡­huuurk.¡± ¡°J-just hang in there, okay? I love you!¡± ¡°B-big Sis!...I-I¡¯ll do my best! Ghhnnnnnnnggg!¡± The T-34 tank started up his engines and pushed forward. He didn¡¯t move at maximum speed of53 kpm, rather at slow walking pace. It was so Pastrache guiding the rest of the contruction men could use Nello¡¯s body as amoving shield, whilethey try to crawl towards the exit of the Carnegie Hall Passage. The only reason why the construction workers were vulnerable, was because they were deep in between the Basalt rock formation. Their only safe house was the small buildings they constructed at the base of the mountains, which they uses a their house and living quarters. Having a small village close to work, was more convenience than trekking miles to and from their townof Carnegie Hall every day. Or, that was what they believed. Adecent population of 75 men, women, and children. However, their numbers were slashed down ever since they were attacked by both a barrel rigged with explosive gunpowder and the onslaught of these Mercenaries.They were now 25 strong.15 were stored inside of Nello¡¯s crew compartment, the rest were crouched and following the tank closely. If they could reach the exit and escape, they could safely run to the nearest garrison to find protection.That was the plan. ¡°Gugh!? B-Big Sis! Up ahead! Th-they got a Tank!¡± ¡°Wh-what!? Impossible!¡± Nello suddenly screeched to a stop and turned his turret head with Pastrache. They peered over, to see something rolling towards them. It wasn¡¯t a tank, it shouldn¡¯t be possible at this stage of technology in this fantasy world. Rather, it was an armored vehicle built from a covered horse wagon protected with fine iron plates. The metal look like those ripple foils one would normally see on the top of a tool shed in the back yard, hammered and tied to various frames of the wagon. It was slowly moving towards them, protecting several mercenaryes that used it as a cover while they fired their crossbows. The reason why it moved so slow, was the actual horse that pulled it were clopping in reverse to push the heavy wagons backward. Ingenius. ¡°BIG SIS! WATCH OUT!¡± Before a warning window could pop up in front of Pastrache, she saw Nello¡¯s barrel flip right towards her nose. Instead of hitting her face like he normally would, he ended up catching a small lead bullet that was moving at a velocity of370 m/s. It fell from Pastrache¡¯s face, prevented from raping her brains and skull out. "...Aaah..." She swallowed her saliva before looking back at the pinpoint of the shot. With her sharp Elven eyes, she could see moving figures hidden behind the iron plates of the armored wagon. Three men, with long traditional muskets stuck them out between the gaps and fired again. The Half-Elf ducked and pushed the construction workers down, relying on Nello to absorb the shots. ¡°B-Big Sis! I-I don¡¯t understand! I-I didn¡¯t know they had Mosin-Nagant Rifles too!¡± ¡°No, they¡¯re matchlocks! They¡¯re different then the rifle you gave me. They even use ammunition that doesn¡¯t reload itself except stuffing gunpowder down the muzzle.¡± ¡°¡­That sounds annoying.¡± ¡°To them it might be, but whenyouhave power in their handsyou really don¡¯t care about its fallbacks. Now that I have this advanced weapon you gave me, I do find the whole muzzle loading aspect bothersome.¡± Interrupting her thoughts, another volley of musket fire rang out and it struck into Nello¡¯s side. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Big Sis. I¡¯ll take out their tank. Reloading High Velocity Inc¡ª¡° ¡°NO! NELLO! STOP!¡± Whatever sound that was going to click inside Nello didn¡¯t happen. It was soon followed by a series of surprised gasps from voices of cramped woman and children. ¡°¡­Ah... I almost forgot.¡± ¡°Yes! We¡¯ve stuffed the surviving women and kids inside of you. There is no room for your gears to load your gun! Even if you did had one loaded, there is no way they could survive your loud nose!¡± ¡°¡­So¡­Can I still use my Machine gun?¡± ¡°Do you think it¡¯s sitting right next to a child¡¯s ear?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..BIG SIS! WHAT DO I DO!? I RAN OUT OF ALL OF MY OFFENSIVE OPTIONS!¡± ¡°Tch. We have no choice but to keep going! The second we clear the pass, we¡¯ll make a run straight for the garrison! The construction workers will show us the way once we leave! Just keep the bandits distracted!¡± ¡°How!? I-I can¡¯t shoot back!¡± ¡°Be creative!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± Nello turned his turret head back at the crowd of Mercenaries. They were all starting to gather and crowd around their armored horse wagon for one final push to eliminate the rest of the construction wrkers. The tank, unable to use its main gun or its machine gun side arm, had only one option. ¡°¡­¡­.GA-GA-GA!...GA-GA-GA-GA!...GA-GA!...GA-GA-GA-GA-GA-GA-GA-GA!¡± It made machine gun noises with its invisible lips. To add to the realism, he would wiggle the barrle of his anti-infantry machine gun and Pastrache would fire her rifle several times to mimic bullets hitting the ground and kicking up sand. It was enough to make some of the men exposed on the open to take cover behind their wagons¡¯ foldable shields.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°MOVE! MOVE!¡± ¡°RO-ROGER!¡± The T-34 ignored the vulnerable target and sped forward. Quickly using the psychological tactic, they were able to cover enough distance to attempt reaching the exit. They were only 100 meters away, a dash in a track and field race would be enough to¡ª ¡°NELLO! STOP!¡± ¡°Hmm? UGYAAAAAAAH!¡± One mercenary pulled something out from the side of the wagon. It looked like a rock, borne from unrefined ruby. He suddenly smacked it across the wheel, the same way a boy scout would strike two rocks together to create a spark. It was enough to crack part of that rock and make it glow a hot boiling red. All the mercenary had to do, was hop a little and toss that rock over into the air. It landed right in front of Nellow¡¯s path. An it instantly splashed as a pool of raging fire. Like a grenade melting into a Molotov Cocktail.
<< WARNING!! Exit Route has been Compromised. Please find alternate route. >>
<< Nello was dealt -30 Emotional Damage. His status is: Spooked. >>
¡°Sh-Sh*t! A Crystalized Spell!¡± ¡°A-a what!?¡± ¡°Magic! I completely forgot to tell you about our magic in this world! Wizards and Mages of high level could store their spells into a crystal which could allow anyone to use the recorded magic! He released a Fire Wall Spell! We''ll all get burn damage if we walk through it!¡± ¡°So-so what should we do?¡± ¡°D*mn! I didn¡¯t think about asking that Dwarf Clerk about Magic Spells! I already used up all my character points to support my rifle skill. F**k!¡± Pastrache scowled, but it was cut short when she heard the muskets barked again. She ducked, two bullets bouncing off of Nello¡¯s hind legs. She realized they were stuck. Behind them was nothing but open ground, and even if they did escape out the other side they won¡¯t be able to find help for hours. The mercenary could get their war camels once more and chase them down, kill them all if they fled.Now their front, their only chance of escaping was cut off from the Flaming Wall Spell. The Half-Elf slammed her fist into her thigh in frustration. She was careless about potential magic attacks! ¡°¡­¡­¡­.Big Sis, are you okay?¡± ¡°D*mn¡­D*mn it all¡­What should we do?¡­And I really want to do something for these @ssholes that kept calling you a monster!...I¡­I¡¯m sorry Nello¡­I let you down... I''m usele¡ª¡° ¡°...There¡¯s no more land behind the Volga.¡± ¡°¡­H-heh?¡± Pastrache stopped in her self-guilt, looking up to the T-34 tank. Another crossbow bolt bounced off his skull whenhe turned to ¡®look over his shoulder¡¯. ¡°¡­That¡¯s what I keep hearing from the officers back in Stalingrad¡­I think¡­. They were trying to say there is no where left to run behind the Volga River¡­We¡­ have to stand out ground.. or the German Tanks will take over our home.¡± ¡°¡­No more¡­behind the Volg?.¡± ¡°Nn¡­So¡­we only have one road to go to¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..I understand now¡­I truly understand the pain you¡¯ve been through, Nello.¡± ¡°¡­Let¡¯s do this¡­ together, Big Sis.¡± ¡°Right¡­Let¡¯s do it¡­ let¡¯s do everything we can to make this right.¡± Pastrache forced herself to smile, bravely. Nello forced himself to believe in himself, boldly. One by one, they started to mutter under their breaths to raise up their spirits to an all new level. ¡°Gulp¡­There¡¯s no more land, behind the Volga.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no more land behind the Volga. Right, Nello?¡± ¡°Nn. There is absolutely no more land behind the Volga!¡± ¡°Even when we give up, we can¡¯t stand behind the Volga in safety!¡± The construction workers outside, and the women and children inside, all stared at the Half-Elf and Girl as they make this strange chant. They thought they were going to prepare a spell¡­ instead. ¡°THERE¡¯S NO MORE LAND BEHIND THE VOLGA!¡±
<< Your Party''s Burning Spirits have reached MAXIMUM! >>
<< Activating Combat Overdrive! You get Advantageover the enemy! YourFightingStats are Buffed!!>>
<< Your Fightign Skills are temporarily Buffed! >> ATK +10 DEF +10 MAG +10 DEX + 10 WEAPON BONUS - Auto-Pierce Damage DEFENSE BONUS - Auto-Deduct 8 Points of Damage
Pastrache leapt onto the top of the tank and shoved a new clip of bullets into her bolt action rifle. ¡°EVERYONE! CLIMB ON AND GRAB TIGHT! WE¡¯RE GOING TO CHARGE!¡ªNOW!¡± Not giving the men the chance to think it over, all Pastrache had to do was scowl menacingly and they climbed on top of the tank. Once the last man was dragged on top, the engines revved like a lion ready to fight. ¡°ALL AHEAD FLANK! BRACE YOURSELF EVERYONE! NUUUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!¡± Nello ripped through the dirt and bedrock at full speed. There was no more need to compromise for anything behind him. Those he had to shield were clinging onto his armor, his turret head, and anything else they could sit or grab onto. Crouched on top of his head, was his friend, the Half-Elf Girl, rifle ready to bear ¡°Nello! I have a special attack skill but it¡¯s only effective if I¡¯m within 10 meter range! Speed into the enemy and turn to the side at the last minute! I¡¯ll shoot them as fast as I can, to distract them ¨C them make a direct headway to the exit and run South-West to the garrison! I only have one shot as I can use this ability once per day so¡­I leave it to you!¡± ¡°Count on me Big Sis!¡± And so, Nello and pastrache began their first real combat quest, together. Operation ¨C Overlord. ¡°NUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!¡± The T-34 charged ahead, pushing aside the enemy¡¯s constant barrage of crossbow bolts and musket pellets that struck into its armor. The denizens inside of his compartment screamed, even prayed loudly over the roaring of his V12 engines. Despite when theybeggedhim to stop, he only doubled his speed. Soon, he was going to charge into the armored horse wagon. And it freaked the mercenaries out. ¡°BIG SIS! NOW!¡± ¡°URYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!¡± The tank suddenly swerved. It gave up its game of chicken and quickly spun to one side, forcing its entire weight to reel off one track. With a flick it his barrel, Nello was able ot balance himself back on the ground. To give Pastrache a clear and open shot at the mercenaries within 10 meters of her position. She only had once chance, and she gambled it on this one hit special "[ = CATCH TARGET! = ]" The first phase of her skill. Activating the command words, she felt a strange sensation wash over her eyes. Particles she usually see when those mystical windows pop up to bug her glazed over her vision. Everything turned into this digital blue and black hue. Next, she saw red lines overlapping each other to suddenly tap across the ¡®heads¡¯ of five different mercenary that were running out of the wagon. They all set their coordinates on their faces. Faces thatstared at her. ¡°[ == U.C. MARINE SKILL ¡ª FIVE-WAY BURST!!! ]" Pulling the bolt to arm her weapon, she pulled the trigger. *BTANG! BTANG! BTANG! BTANG! BTANG!*
Pastrache watched as her rifle automatically unloaded all give of its7.62 mm rounds, with only one pull of the trigger. She didn¡¯t even have to handle the bolt action to reload in between, they alllaunched themselves as if they wanted to get in on the action personally. One by one, those bullets covered in a spark of green flame flew through the air and¡ª *TOK TOK TOK TOK TOK*
<< You dealt -120 Piercing Damage. Enemy is bleeding. >>
<< You dealt -135 Piercing Damage. Enemy is prone. >>
<< You dealt -220 Piercing Damage. CRITICAL HIT!. >>
<< You dealt -80 Piercing Damage. Enemy is prone. Enemy fell to their death. >>
<< You dealt -115 Piercing Damage. Enemy is crippled. Unable to fight. >>
Cut through the skulls of five different mercenaries. Two of them dropped their muskets, breaking their offensive line. The road to their future, was cleared open! ¡°NELLO!¡± ¡°PEDAL TO THE MEDAL! GO! GO!¡± Without a proper counterattack, the surviving Mercenaries that fell over into the dirt lacked the manpower to mount their wagon and chase after the fleeing Tank. In seconds, it breached the exit and it continued forward, barreling through a dense wall of trees and bushes. Nothing could stop the machine as it smashed down lines of timber, large boulders, and even forgotten carriages left from ancient times. ¡°WH-WHERE AM I GOING, BIG SIS!?¡± ¡°KEEP GOING STRAIGHT! STRAGHT! STRAI¡ª¡° Pastrache wanted to smile. She felt like she did something good today. Even when her body was super exhausted from using that critical one-hit skill¡­ she felt it was worth the sacrifice. Until Nello shoved over more trees, drove through a small pond, and was now 1 meter away from hitting the front gates of an important looking military garrison. ¡°¡­.Ah.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Sh¡ª¡° *CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!*
<< Congratulations. You discovered Garrison Fort Sienna 1-1-7. Added to your Map. >>
<< You CRASHED into Garrison Fort S-117. You dealt -9999 Bludgeoning Damage to front gates. >>
<< Your relationship with Garrison Captain has is at -1%. Please seek counselling. >>
The Taste of a Villains Defeat, Isnt Bitter but Sweet -- (19th_Results) ¡°Sir. The hired guns you¡¯ve dispatched should be about done. Would you like me to prepare their payment?¡± ¡°In a bit, let me finish this game.¡± ¡°¡­It¡¯s Cat¡¯s Cradle. Surely you can set it on your desk. No one will dare touch it.¡± ¡°If there is one thing you should know about me, I dislike leaving something unfinished. Why do you think I¡¯ve been able to stay as mayor of this dingy town for so long? I always get the job done, by hook or by crook.¡± The Mayor if Carnegie Hall Village turned in his comfy velvet chair and onto the face of his desk. He had his eyes narrowed as if focused on a very important task at hand. Literally wrapped in his fingers. ¡°Hmm¡­What do you think of this? What does it look like to you?¡± ¡°¡­A Vermillion Sea Star with a Bra.¡± ¡°No. A Chameleon Lion Girl with a Bra, where is your sense of taste man?¡± ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m a leg person, so I can¡¯t really give my honest opinion on lingerie above the hip line.¡± ¡°Fuuuh. I hate this job.¡± The Mayor gave up with a groan and chewed on the edge of his cigar. He puffed out a fog of blue smoke from his lips before he ended up ruining his own hard worked creation and shoved it into his officer drawer. Right next to his secretarie¡¯s three different panties. ¡°¡­¡­Hmmm¡­I¡¯m in the mood for black side tie.¡± ¡°Sir. About the money for your hired guns.¡± ¡°I want for them to come to me personally and tell me from their lips that they¡¯ve done the job. I don¡¯t want even one disgruntled union worker to be breathing about this event. I chose to bet my gold on these profesionals to save me the trouble of going through all the paperwork and finances involved in terminating their contracts.Do you know how much I have to spend on them, as well as their family now that they''re out of a job? Hmm? Surely you can estimate the thousands and millions in gold I would have to bleed from my treasury!" ¡°Hmm¡­It truly is a pickle.¡± ¡°You, Mr. Assistant. Why are you standing around like a scarecrow. Join me for a drink. I¡¯m in a good mood today.¡± The Mayor grinned, as if he discovered he won the lottery by didn¡¯t want to show it. To celebrate whatever occasion he had in mind, he opened his fined bottle of cheap whisky into two cups. One tall and one small. It was obvious who would get who. ¡°Dibs on the small.¡± ¡°That, Mr. Scarecrow, is why you¡¯re still my Confidante in office. Drink up.¡± Inside of his office was another man. Much like his nickname, he was tall, thin, too skinny for his health, and held himself as stiff as a board. He even had strips of hay falling out of his sleeve for some reason. So we¡¯ll call him Mr. Scarecrow. Mr. Scarecrow downed his drink with one motion. Somehow, it dripped all down his shirt but no one knows how that phenomenon happened. The Mayor didn¡¯t notice, he was already deep in thought about something more pressing. ¡°¡­Side ties and a triangle bikini¡­Something daring today to spice up my life.¡± ¡°What about your wifie sir? If you haven¡¯t noticed, she has kept a strict surveillance on you from her secretary on the third floor.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­She¡¯s my woman already too, so she will be acting as a double agent.¡± ¡°Truly, the Mayor knows how to play the game.¡± The man mulling the cigar shot a finger gun at his confidante. Mr. Scarecrow returned fire. ¡°... Still about that payment.¡± ¡°Fine. Fine¡­1000 Won.¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >> ~ Creativite Disposition ~ You thought of a word that sounds plausible to be real. Good imagination Chief. *Finger Gun*
The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°What currency is that?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t know just made it up off the top of my head¡­Oh. I got an achievement for being creative. Fu-fu-fu. I seem to be stepping up my game in this world. Ha-ha-ha!!¡± ¡°But seriously sir, these are professionals who have experience in fighting wars between rivalling clans and kingdoms. How much would you like to pay?¡± ¡°Full amount as promised. No need for them to come after me if I short change them. Although no one is interested in running for office and the next Mayor for the following term is obvious. Handling scandals or blackmarket dealings at this point is too much of a hassle. That why I keep the surface of my pay bills ''clean''. My wifeactually thinks I was spending extra money to purchase those exotic toys in the East, to whip her body into shape." ¡°That sounds exciting sir.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­Ahum¡­yes. I¡¯ll begin arranging the money at once. The moment they return to the designated meeting place, I will complete the transaction to their Swissa Account via the Ethereal Net Drive and they will no longer be affiliated to us.¡± ¡°Very good, very good¡­Now¡­Maybe I should have my secretary dress up as an Elf today instead. I mean, that fair maidenly adventurer who dropped by earlier sure was a firecracker.¡± ¡°You mean the woman who drop kicked your groin sir?¡± ¡°Yes. That¡¯s the girl! I like women like her, full of sass and character! Hah!Mr. Scarecrow, dind some roguish looking men in town and ask them to do me a favour.¡± ¡°Catch her. Clean her. And serve her on a silver platter with food on her body, sir?¡± ¡°Yes! Exactly! That¡¯s why I chose you to be my second in command in office! Bwaa-haa-haa!¡± *Creeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!* The Mayor wanted to enjoy this glorious day. And Mr. Scarecrow was hoping to sneak in close to get a second round of that cheap Whiskey while his boss was laughing and none the wiser. However, the door to their office slowly creaked open¡­ like the beginning of a horror film. ¡°¡­Hmm? Who is she? Why is she covered in lily pads and pond scum?¡± ¡°Po-Pointy Ears¡­sir, she¡¯s the Groin Killer¡± ¡°¡­Oh yes! Of course! I remember you now, the Elf slu¡ªI mean Adventurer! Cough. Greetings again. So, have you considered my, ahem, previous offer. It still stands¡­. If you know what I¡­Hmm? Captain Barbossa?What are you doing here? Aren¡¯t you supposed to be manning the barracks at Fort Sienna 1-1-7?¡± Standing at the open doorward was a certain Half-Elf. She was drenched from head to toe, with a series of seagrass and lily pads draped over her head and shoulders as if a new fashion line. Her eyes did not look happy. Flanking behind her, was this man in an important looking military uniform covered in a full suit of crimson armor. A sword and long dagger at his hip, where his hand was resting. He had the exact same look. At first, this gesture alone didn¡¯t sink into the Mayor. No, he was still staring blankly at the two intruders while biting on his cigar. Until he noticed Mr. Scarecrow acting strangely. ¡°¡­You. Confidante. Why are you climbing out my window? Do you have a fetish for free fall?¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know this man¡­and I quit sir.¡± ¡°What?¡± Before the Mayor knew it, Mr. Scarecrow jumped out of the window¡ª
<< Accessing KNIGHT''S ACTION CAM....................... COMPLETE >>
¡ªOnly to have several soldiers in silver armor swing in through that same window on iron cables and kicked him back inside. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Wh¡­what¡¯s going on?¡± All sorts of warning windows were popping up. Each and everyone of them was trying to tell him tha his windows and doors were being attacked. One by one, more soldiers entered the room through the windows, and even through a secret compartment in the attics About 20 fine looking men with swords and muskets were standing in front of the Mayor. The only person who stood out, was that Half-Elf with unhappy eyes, and this strange rifle in her hands. ¡°¡­That¡¯s the guy. F**k him boys.¡± ¡°¡­Wait¡­H-hold it! No! Stop! I-I! I DON¡¯T TAKE IT LIKE MY SECRETARY! STOP! NOOO! NYWAAGA GAAAAAA AAAAAAAA!¡±
<< Knight Lv 5 used ARMORED PUNCH. Dealt you -10 Bludgeoning Damage! >>
<>
<< Knight Lv 7 used MARTIAL STOMP. Dealt you -20 Psychic Damage! Critical Hit!You are Concussed >>
<< Your Status is now Prone. Enemies have Advantage over you. >>
<< Your Health Status is: 5 / 40. Would you like to surrender? (YOUR ANSWER IS CANCELLED) >>
Moral of the story ¨C don¡¯t be a d**k. A Talk of Faint Memories over a Lake full of Diamond Salmon -- (20th_Adaptation) :: Dear Diary¡­ I feel so relaxed. I never knew that kicking a man¡¯s crotch over 30 times could feel so satisfying. Why, all the pain and trauma I¡¯ve experiencd from Dire Wolves, Orcs, Goblins, or even a Manticore trying to force me to bear their children - are all gone!! I truly felt refreshed¡î! That¡¯s a good thing right? It¡¯s healthy right? I guess, that from now on, whenever there is an opportunity to make myself feel better, Ill step on it!¡î¡î¡î ::
<< You gained +1000 EXP from STOMP. You gained a new Skill, Dominatrix Lv 8! >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Yes, My Mistress~ You suddenly evolved from an Innocent Milk Maid to a Queen of Pure Sadism. You''re the new Pauper and the Princess!! -----
<< Your relationship with Captain and Guards at Garrison Sienna117 has increased to 58%!! >>
<< Congratulations: You became an Honorary Soldier of the Royal Garrison. SALUTE! >>
¡°Hnnnnnnggggaaaaaaaaaaaaan¡­.Nello...this feels so good¡­Aaaaanh~?¡± ¡°¡­..Um...is dripping your legs into a lake really that comfy, Big Sis?¡± "Yeeeeeeeeessssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh~?????...Hiccup?" Pastrache let out a moan of pleas¡ªHappiness.She relaxed her body across the grass, with her legs knee deep in the cold crystal clear water. She had taken off her long stuffy boots and rested them to the side as she leaned back and enjoyed the cold sensation of the water massaging the sore muscles and potential blisters on her feet. All the while, a certain T-34 Soviet Tank was perched up on top of the bank right before the ground slanted down to head into the waters. He was wary of the threshold where the parallel ground would drop into a 10 degree slope. ¡°Come on, Nello, dip your feet¡­or¡­tracks in as well! It¡¯ll feel real good!¡± ¡°¡­Um¡­.The last time my tank brother tried to cross a river to suprirse the enemy¡­ he sunk under. I could only see the tip of his 10 meter nose.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Stay where you are. My body will snap if I try to drag you out of the lake.¡± ¡°Sorry Big Sis. I¡¯ll be good¡­sniff.¡± ¡°O-oh no! N-nello¡¯s feelings are hurt! D-don¡¯t cry! B-Big Sister loves you!¡± Pastrache was conflicted all of a sudden. She truly wanted to rush up the hill and hug her tank friend with all her body and heart. She would cradle his¡­nose inher arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. As if he was her own fluffy Golden Retriever. ¡­But the water felt just too good for her feet. ¡°¡­D*mn it! My instinct as a woman is crushing my rational to comfort my friend! F**k!¡± "It¡¯s okay Big Sis¡­I-I¡¯ve never been fan of big bodies of water before¡­..I¡¯ll watch you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.W-wait. I-I was hoping to take a skinny dip t-to absorb the therapeutic properties of this fresh water lake, n-now my plans are dashed completely!¡± ¡°¡­What¡¯s skinny dip?¡± ¡°N-not something a child like you should see!¡± Nello, the T-34 Soviet Tank turned his turret head to the side, and dropped his barrel. He wasn¡¯t sad like usual, rather, this was the best way to represent a head tilt of confusion. He watched as the Half-Elf fanned herself with her own hands under the warm weather. The tank didn''t know it, but it was mostlyso shecould calm her own hormones down. Once she was in control of her body, she gazed lus¡ªer,normally at the beautiful lake in front of her feet. ¡°Oh! The Daimond Salmons are nipping at my toes! Nyaaah! Aaaah?! I-it tickles! Hyaaahnn! Annnnnnbhmmmmm!???¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Why is Big Sis making so much noise? It sounds like a cat looking for a girlfriend... I think.¡± ¡°Again. You¡¯re too young for this cruel world of lazy adults.¡± ¡°I know. Men in the Red Army kept kicking me out of the snow and ice so I could help them fight the scary German Tanks while they drink vodka in a horse stable¡­.. uuuuuh.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯m sorry Nello. I-I didn¡¯t mean to make you think back to your old life like that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­Sniff.¡± Now Pastrache was really facing an internal conflict. The urge to forget everything and run to her friend, pulling the tank into an embrace that bore a lot of her bosom into his face. ¡­¡­.But the Diamond Salmon felt too comfortable. And, they were helping to clean the dead skin cells off her feet. It was a win-win. ¡°H-how is abandoning my beloved Nello a Win-Win!?¡± ¡°Hmm? Did you say some Big Sis?¡± ¡°I love you~?!¡± ¡°Oh! I-I love Big Sis too!¡± To show her undying devotion, the Half-Elf touched her fingers to her lips and blew a kiss. To show his appreciation, the tank sat there, confused. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..Um...Okay.¡± But being the good and innocent boy that was living inside of its empty armored body, it just left it at that and hummed a Russian Folk Song to himself. ¡°¡­.Hey, Nello. Other than your memories of fighting in Stalingrad do you have¡­ you know¡­ any happy memories?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Th-that was fast! D-did you even try to think it over!?¡± ¡°¡­To be honest, I was born for five days before the German Tiger tanks punched my face in with their cannon and made me black out. The only thing I do remember is fighting, shooting, and running¡­.And how cold Russia was¡­ the weather always made my wheels freeze over.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Honestly? No happy memories.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.A dog.¡± ¡°Oh! We¡¯re getting somewhere in Dear Diary Moment for Nello!¡± Pastrache adjusted in her seat on the lake side while she kept her feet in the cold waters. While she relaxed, she listened to Nello answering her previous question. All the while resisting the urge to giggle when she kept feeling the Daimond Salmons kissing her toes. Someone definitely had a fetish.
¡°Um¡­The one who built me had this small dog. She was super fluffy and small, almost the size of a rubber ball.¡± ¡°Yes, yes! Go on.¡± ¡°I¡­kind of remember, but my memory is hazy. I was half-assembled at that time when the mechanic put my head on. I always remember that every time he had to use a wrench to fix something in my turret gear, he would let his fluffy dog sit on my head. ¡°Oh how cute~¡î.¡± ¡°My skull always felt wet.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Pffft.¡± ¡°Hmm? Big Sis? What¡¯s the matter.¡± ¡°Nothing. Cough. Th-the salmon were sucking on the wrong toes¡­Pffffft.¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ~ Not Laughing At You ~ You were able to laugh at your Party Member and persuade them it isn''t about them. Kudos, B*tch.
"........................Cough." "Hmm? Big Sis, what''s the matter? Why are you swinging your arm around like that?" "Oh nothing, nothing. There was this wierd sensation in my arm to punch something so I had to give the air the old one two...(Stupid screen, if you were reincarnated as a real girl, I''ll b*tch slap you back to a screen!)" "Um...Okay...Where was I?" While Pastrache was still swinging her arm to ''knock out the wierd sensation bothering her'', the mystical notification screen projecting her achievement exploded like cheap glass. All the while the Soviet Tank fidgeting his cannon up and down... as if trying to remember where it left off. ¡°¡­Ohright. Um¡­I can¡¯t remember the name of the man who built me, but I somehow remember his dog always rolling around on my head. He was really fluffy, like a pillow¡­ or¡­ whatever pillows felt like¡­ I only heard they¡¯re soft because the original crew that controlled me always complained how the pillows in the barracks were hard as rocks.¡± ¡°¡­Aaah. I see. Do you know the puppy¡¯s name?¡± ¡°Obi¡­¡­.....Wan?¡± ¡°¡­Obi¡­Wan? A-and is that a question mark in your sentence!?¡± ¡°It was a super long name that''s hard to pronounce. I couldn''t remember anything but Obi...and Wan...so I called it Obi Wan." ¡°Sounds like some kind of charming young knight who wields this magical sword that could cut through anything as it glowes a sapphire blue light!" ".........................I don''t understand what you''re saying Big Sis." The T-34 Tank took a moment to adjust the barrle of his anti-infantry DT Machine gun. It turned at an angle to ''look'' at Pastrache, while she gripped bit hands together as if holding a longsword and swung this invisible weapon in her hands around. All the while moving her full lips. "Vrrrrm! Vrrrrrrm! Vrrrr!...Bzzzzzzzt!" ¡°¡­..What kind of noise is that?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just made it up. Doesn¡¯t it sound epic? Praise me!¡± ¡°¡­It sounds¡­ okay¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­(Rat fink showoff with ridiculous loud fire nose)¡± ¡°Wh-what Big Sis? I can¡¯t hear you.¡± ¡°Be our guest, be our guest, be our gueeeest~?¡± ¡°Oh, she¡¯s singing. Okay.¡± Pastrache tried to change the subject by pretending to whistle whislt playing with her long and beautiful blonde sidetail. She could comb her fingers through the strands to straight them, but always leave a cute spiralling curve at their ends like British curls. As she moved her feet in the water, waving them back and forth like a mermaid¡¯s tail, she asked one more question. ¡°Did you teach little Obi Wan lots of tricks, Nello? Like pushing something without actually touching it.¡± ¡°I tried, but the German Airplanes attacked and bombed part of the factory.¡±
<< You were dealt -1000 Emotional Damage. Please seek counselling for Trauma Therapy >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± Somehow, even in a relaxed state by a lake¡­ Pastrache felt like she stepped on a landmine. Even in this world, she knew what a magical mine could do if trampled on. ¡°¡­I think they were call Stukas, or said the men in the factory who ran around to warn everyone. The bombers attacked us and it blew up half of the factory. I was away from the side of the building and half of my unfinished tanks brothers and armored cars disappeared in the rubble¡­and Obi Wan¡­..¡± "N¡­Nello¡­.don¡¯t tell me¡­¡± ¡°¡­I couldn¡¯t move¡­ they didn¡¯t assemble my tracks yet¡­ but I think I saw Obi-Wan¡­hiding under the desk in a corner.¡± ¡°Oh thank the goddess, he''s ali¡ª¡° ¡°And the only thing left of him was his fur¡­¡­¡­..the mechanic who owned him cried really loud¡­I couldn¡¯t see what happened.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I wish I ccould have been able to speak to like I am doing now¡­If I had, I would like to tell Obi-Wan to stop making my head wet. It¡¯s not nice.¡± *Thonk* ¡°G-guhg!? B¡­big Sis? Wh-what''s wrong?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I''m sorry Nello¡­You deserve this. You really do...¡± Nello was surprised when he felt something small tackle his the front of his armor. He didn¡¯t dare move, or else he risk squishing the person in question. And he would truly regret it, if he ran over his Half-Elf Friend who wrapped her short arms around his front armor. It looked like she was a freeze frame victim of a car accident, but really she threw her body onto his ¡®hood¡¯ and glued herself there. Visible tears dripped own her face¡­ and the lake water trailing down her long legs and bare feet. A trail of wet footprints dashed up the hill after her. Her leather boots still sitting by the bank. ¡°¡­Nello¡­ is such a gentle soul¡­ yet why were you born and raised in a cruel war.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a Tank. Big Sis. My duty is to defend my country from the enemy. I am a soldier of the Red Army. It¡¯s okay, you don¡¯t have to cry¡­I think I¡¯m retired now that I¡¯m reborn in this world.¡± ¡°Nello¡­You deserve better.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. I have you Big Sis.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ I love you so much Nello!¡± ¡°Hee-hee. I love you too Big Si¡­¡­S¡­¡­Aaah¡­..¡± ¡°¡­N-Nello Wh-why are you moving¡­¡­Oh¡­¡± It wasn¡¯t clear what happened. But the moment Pastrache hugged her friend with her legs kicked up in the air¡­ the tank¡¯s center of gravity shifted forward. He was now starting to drip over the edge of the bank. Down the 45 degree slope... Bon voyage. ¡°BIG SIS! CATCH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!¡± ¡°THAT IS SUPER IMPOSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!¡± The next thing, Pastrache knew, she was flapping like a fla g in the wind while she grabbed onto any handle bar across Nello¡¯s turret head. They both were rolling down the bank and into the lake. ¡°WAIT! NO! STOP! NELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!¡± ¡°BIG SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII¡ª¡° And into the lake they go¡ªSPLASH!
<< You and Nello dealt -2000 Newton worth of Force Damage to the Lake. Apologize. >>
<< Status: You are Prone in the Water, enemies have advantage over your body. >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb¡ªPUWHAAAAAAAAH! N-NELLO!? A-ARE YOU OKAY!? AN-ANSWER BIG SISTER!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°NELLO!?¡± Pastrache was the first to surface. Not having a chance to throw off her clothing, she was drenched through and through after popping her head out from the bottom of the lake. But ruining her clothing weren''t her top priority. No, she started to look around her, searching for something. A 26.5 ton tank that fell into the same lake as her.Despite making a big splash and scaring the cr*p out of the Diamond Salmon¡­ she couldn¡¯t see any Tank floating or sinking into he lake. Not even the tip of his 3 meter barrel ¡°NELLO? NELLO! ANSWER ME! PLEASE!¡± ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.brrrrrrrrr---*VRRRRRRRRRRRR!* As if to answer her voice, the rear end of the T-34 Soviet Tank climbed up halfway across the lake bank, his front entirely submerged. His armor, was classically painted with sea grass, black mud, and a nest of Pickle Frogs on its turret head. After a long pause, the voice inside the empty tank broke the silence.
<< You survived SINKING. Congratulations: You gained RARE SKILL:Submersible Lv 1 >>
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Dare toBe Stupid ~ You braved your worst weakness and acquired a Rare Skill in Conquest. Well done.
¡°¡­..BIG SIS! I¡¯M ALIVE! I DIDN¡¯T SINK!¡± ¡°HALLELUJAH, NELLO! YOU LEVELED UP!¡± To rejoice this wonderful occasion, the beautiful and wet Half-Elf Girl threw a big splash into Nello¡¯s face. ¡°GAAAAH! NO FAIR! BIG SIS! BUGGBFFF! TH-THERE¡¯S WATER IN MY EYES AND NOSE! I-IT HURTS! UUUUUUUUUH!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah¡­Sorry Nello.¡± ¡°Sorry Big Sis. I was joking. Ha¡ªGUBYAAAG! MY WHEEL!¡± To end the conversation, the beautiful and wet Half-Elf doubled up on a lovely drop kick into the half-submerged tank. Note, she wasn¡¯t wearing her stuffy leather boots.
<< You used ANGRY KICK at Nello. It was not effective. >>
<< You dealt -0.00000000001 Bludgeoning Damage. You received -10 Recoil Damage. >>
<< WARNING: Your BARE FOOT is broken. Please seek a doctor, and counselling. >>
¡°GYAAAAAAAAH! M-MY TOE! MY TOE IS BROKEN! T-TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY BODY, NELLO!¡± ¡°UWAAAAAAH! WH-WHY AM I IN TROUBLLLLLLLLE!?¡± That''s what young siblings are for. [HOLIDAY SPECIAL] -- When a Half-Elf and a Tank gets Invited to a Companys New Year Gathering
<< Message Addressed to PASTRACHE MOONEYE & NELLO T-34-85 >>
<< CONGRATULATIONS: You both have been cordially invited to acelebration!! >>
<>
<< Message Comments: Tanks are allowed. Please no live ammunition. >>
<< Do you accept invitation? (Y/N) >>
¡°Oh, look, Nello. We got an invitation to join this New¡¯s Party¡­H-heh? B-Bunny Cliub? Wh-why does it sound like a place for rich people with perverted ideals to visit and cuddle with frivolous girls in cheap bunny suits!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­..I don¡¯t know what Big Sis is talking about, but a New Year¡¯s Partysounds likefun! I¡¯ve never been to one¡­or¡­ any other party¡­..Not even a birthday party. Uuuuh.¡± "N-nello! P-please don''t cry! B-Big Sis is here for you!" Once upon a time, in a certain alternate fantasy world, there was this beautiful Half-Elf with daddy issues and her friend that was a T-34 Soviet Tank transmigrated from the Battle of Stalingrad. Their names were Pastrache and Nello, respectively. Upon returning from one of their many dangerous, perilous, and downright clumsy bizarre adventures, they received this peculiar invitation via the Ethereal Net Drive''s Mystical Window Messaging System. The girl Pastrache would examine the invitationclosely with narrows eyes. She was trying to see if the holographic screen before her eyes, was authentic or not. Deep down, she was fraid this was what we call Scam Mail. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know. It says the location of this so-called clubisn''t familiar on our maps. And it¡¯s rather far away from the capital city we''re in¡­ I''m not 100% sure if we should wander into such uncharted territories." ¡°Don¡¯t Worry Big Sis, I¡¯ll protect you!¡± ¡°Oh Nello I love you so much. As much as I appreciate you using your metal plated body as my shield, I''m not sure if this is actually a trap designed to counteract someone like you. I mean, it did invited both of us, even writing down our names. They must know who you are if they''re being this bold. Who knows, maybe they''ve established spells that specialize in piercing through heavy armor, breaking off the tracks on your legs, or even disable your fire nose from shooting like a thunderstorm." ¡°G-guh!? A-Anti tank mines!? Th-they¡¯re the worst! I-I¡¯ve seen to many tanks, both Russian and German, go up in fire whenever they roll their feet over one¡­¡­¡­Now I¡¯m scared. I don''t want to go now. I want to stay here.¡± "I agree, Nello. So let''s just press the B for No and¡ªWait! Wait a minute! I-I just scrolled to the bottom of the message, a-and it says it''s offering us s-something called a New Year''s Bonus Pay in our currency! A-and, and... Holy sh*t! Lo-look at that cr*p ton of special experience points they''re going to give me upon arriving! Wh-why, with these numbers I could clearly jump from Level 10 to exceed Level18 in a fortnite! We''re definitely going!" ¡°H-heh? B-big Sis changed her mind so fast!? Wh-what about th-the anti-tank mine traps!?¡± ¡°Have no fear! With this Bonus pay they¡¯re offering, I¡¯ll buy you a new body with a cooler nose¡î.¡± ¡°Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!¡± And so, the greedy¡ªEr, beautiful Half-Elf persuaded her friend the Soviet Tank to go off on a small adventure to this gathering point of this New Year¡¯s Party.
<< You discovered the city of ?????? >>
<< Do you wish to Enter? (Y/N) >> => (A) Yes
<< Notification: You have arrived at the designated location. Welcome to the Bunny Club. >>
It took the Half-Elf and the Tank about less than one hour while following the direction. They soon arrived at where they needed to be. However, they discovered a conflict once they showed up in front of the door steps. ¡°¡­Nello...is it just me or is this place...Small¡­¡± ¡°¡­Um...it''s bigger than my body, but the door is too tight. If they let me in, I''ll break it.Uuuh.¡± Pastrache and Nello shared their thoughts out loud once they stood in front of a small caf¨¦. Not exactly a caf¨¦, but a store that was about the size of a regular family caf¨¦ with some budget cuts. That small. In fact, it was almost the scale of an ice cream store that used to be popular in the 1970s. That, that small. The name written in bold golden letters was ¡®Bunny Club¡¯. Infront of the bunny word, there was this Mapleleaf. As if to Suggest, the Canadian Bunny Club. Maybe, it was a way to make the title short? ¡°¡­..Big Sis. I won¡¯t fit. If I go in, the whole wall will cave in...I don''t want to get you in trouble.¡± ¡°I was worried about that as well¡­¡­. So¡­ why did the invitation say Tankswere welcome?¡± Pastrache felt bad for her tank friend, so she reached out to pat his armored track leg with a hand. When she thought they should leave, the door suddenly opened. It gave a cheery jingling sound, a series of bells hanging from a hook on the door. It was the type that would ring every time a customer were to enter. This allowed the owner and their employees to welcome the guest immediately. Oddly, no one showed up to greet them. Just the door opening wider and wider...with a creaking sound that was iconic in horror movies. Soulless, it becked them to enter. "...C...Creepy++." ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯ll wait here then Big Sis.¡± ¡°No of course not! This invation is for both of us. Even our two names were written in bold. So there has to be¡­.Ah?¡± Pastrache said those small words, when she realized something was wrong. At first, she remembred standing out in the middle of a cobblestone street that looked like a scene from a 1890 Victorian London mystery show. Somehow, she found herself standing in the middle of what appears to be the caf¨¦¡¯s interior...maybe?
<< Accessing INTERIOR CAM for ''Travelling Readers''.......... COMPLETE >>
It was a complete farcry from what the exterior front had to offer. She had somehowbeen teleported into a large room that could hold a party for 100 people, even a cocktail gathering for a small wedding. With various clothed tables and exotic hand-carved chairs, decorated with false palm trees that look too real to be true, there was even a small stage where musicians could play jazz music in the background. Someone was up on that stage, sitting on a bench and touching a piano. He was already playing a song, a song that had survived for hundreds of years and was still excellent. ¡­It felt Polish. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sleZ-hzrtRY) ¡°¡­Big Sis. Who is that?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know, but I home it¡¯s not an illusionist or necromancer. The last thing I want is to have our bowels cut open and our bodies¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Nello! You¡¯re shorter!¡± ¡°¡­Heh?....I don¡¯t feel that different.¡± For those of you reading this the first time, Nello is a T-34 Tank that should be about 2.5 meters tall. Meaning he would be even taller than his beloved big sister (not blood-related) Half-Elf. Today, or inside of this strange club, he was no taller than her hip. At most, he was the scale of a St. Bernard hound. The turret head with the 3 meter¡­or, now1.5 meter lone barrel, turned to look up at Pastrache. Even when it was smaller, its nose was long enough to bump into the Half-Elf¡¯s stomach with a soft plop. ¡°¡­.OH! BIG SIS IS A GIANT!¡± ¡°Nyaaggu! N-N-Nello, d-don¡¯t prod your nose into my chest! I-it¡¯s rude---hyaagggh!!¡± ¡°Ah. Sorry!¡± Unsure of how this phenomon had shrunk herlarge friendcapable of crushing a carhad turned into the size of a grown dog¡­Pastrache decided to be bold and interrupt the piano player on the stage. Somehow, her boots weren¡¯t heavy enough to make a loud enough clapping noise. Even when the musician was nearing the end of his song, he didn¡¯t hear her aproach. Once he finished this piece that was loved by generations¡­the Half-Elf tapped his shoulder. ¡°Um. Excuse me. Are you the owner of this club?¡± ¡°Hmm?...N-no. I''m the son, my parents own this Family Parlour that is a boarding house for the schoolboys... Ah, it''s late. I have to hurry to meet with my friend Franz Liszt for... Wait, this isn''t the family parlour." The piano player with an classical aura around him opened his eyes and looked around. He looked perplexed to be sitting in this elaborate stage, in this elaborate club. ¡°¡­Wh¡­What did Penny do this time? Miss, please tell me I''m still in Warsaw.¡± ¡°What¡¯s Warsaw?¡± ¡°Oh! I know Big Sis! I know! That¡¯s the capital of Poland!¡± ¡°Th-that¡¯s correct. So does that mean¡­¡­.Excuse me but, what are you?¡± ¡°Oh? Me? I-I¡¯m Nello. I¡¯m a Tank of the Russian Soviet Army!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..What¡¯s a tank?¡± Pastrache looked between the Composer and her friend the tank (St. Bernand size). The two ¡®boys¡¯ could be seen staring at each other for a while, as if confused as to who each other were. Despite the fact Nello recognizing where Warsaw is, this Composer had absolutely no clue what the little tank was entirely. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me that you were a dog and Penny tested this new potion on you?¡± ¡°¡­.No¡­I¡¯m me¡­ This is my body since the¡­well, day I was born in Stalingrad fighting the German Tanks.¡± "Odd. The last time I visited Berlin for a performance, it was rather peaceful. No war whatsoever... let alone having ''tanks''... Little one, are you sure you''re from the Russian Empire?" ¡°¡­.................................Dah?? (Yes)¡± The Half-Elf sighed. She realized speaking to this gentlemen who was holding the keys of his piano like the face of his lover won¡¯t be going anyway from the starting face. So ended up being like most impatient readers, and skip straight to the last page of the book to know the ending. ¡°I¡¯m Pastrache Mooneye. This is my friend, Nello. He¡¯s supposed to be bigger than your piano but somehow something made him shrunk. Who are you? Are you involved in this invitation we received?¡± The musicican turned from his beloved piano and looked up at the Half-Elf with quiet eyes. ¡°¡­Cough Cough..Sorry. My health isn¡¯t very good. Cough. Ahem¡­ My name is Frederic. Frederic Chopin.¡± (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/15565/chopins-penny/chapter/180572/nocturne-opus-9-the-composer-and-the-witch) ¡°Also known as my Chop-Chop¡ªNOW GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!¡±
<< WARNING! You are under attack! Evasive Actions! >>
<< Auto-Dodge Skill Lv 3 has been activated! >>
Pastrache received a notification from her warning system and tilted her head. What looked like a spear of electricity had appeared and nearly sliced her brains out had she not moved her neck in a small angle. As someone from a fantasy world, she recognized that to be a Level 10 Lightning Bolt spell. That means, a wizard was present. However, when she turned to inspect who attacked her, she saw something else. A form of magician who wore this elaborate robe that people in a certain island nation call a Kimono, patterned to resemble the summer skies. With long fluffy golden-blonde hair reaching to her hips, the woman who had a wizard like hat on her head stared at the Half-Elf with one eye through her exotic hair. Pastrache simply frowned. ¡°¡­¡­..Is there a reason to usethat elaborate spell in the form of a Stealth Attack just to greet me? Who are you?¡± ¡°I would like to ask the same question, Pointy Ears! I am Chop-Chop¡¯s legitimate wife!...Or¡­.Concubine if he truly believes that piano he¡¯s rubbing his hands over is his actual legitimate wife!... Tch! I''ll win over that piece of wood and strings one day! I swear!¡± ¡°¡­For the record, Miss Mooneye. This piano is named Jolly. And no, she it¡¯s not my wife¡­neither is the Witch who is pointing her wand at you. She''s simply a freeloader at my Family Parlour.¡± "CHOP-CHOP! D-DON''T EMBERASS ME IN FRONT OF THE ENEMY!" ¡°... A Witch? That''s a rare class...rare as in no one wants to be mistaken as a slut with a wizard''s hat.¡± "G-geh!? I-I''ll gut you for that you point eared woman! Th-that''s right, I''m a Witch who fled from England in the prime of the Witch Hunt andescape to the country of Poland! If it weren''t for this purehearted young man taking me under his wing, I would have been violated in every possible position by those so-called crusaders of the churches!...Say something Chop-Chop!" "Yes. I regret making that decision. I dislike saying this too often, but I should have let her stayed sleeping in an apple barrel. The moment I took pity and offered her a place to stay at the Chopin Family Parlour,I realized too late how much good she eats on a daily basis. I had no choice but to restrict her to a ration system just to save enough food for both my family and the 12 school boys living with us...Miss, please feel free to discipline her for her laziness and misbehaviour. Due to my health I''m powerless. The only thing that can keep her on a leash, is cutting her rations." ¡°W-wait. C¡ªChop-Chop! Y-you¡¯re not going to-to remove this Witch fr-from her one s-source of su-sustenance right? Right? P-please tell me you won¡¯t divorce me!? I-I swear I''ll be a good girl!¡± ¡°Again. We¡¯re not married. Hmm¡­If you¡¯ll excuse me, I have an idea for a song I need to write down before I forget.¡± ¡°Please look at me and tell me honestly! H-how much rations do I get to have this weeeeeeek!¡± Pastrache and Nello tilted their head; the Half-Elf girl¡¯s side-tail swinging like a pendulum and the T-34 Tank¡¯s 1 meter nose turning in confusion. They watched as the a certain Composer turned back to his piano to start playing a new music, one they¡¯ve never heard but it felt deep and thoughtful. All the while, he was ignoring the grovellig, snivelling, and crying ofa certain Kimono Witch. Even when she pulled on his sleeve, not a single key rang out of place and he continued to zone out the world around him to bring out the music residingin his heart. A professional. ¡°¡­Big Sis¡­Should we help that lady. Her eyes are turning black. Is she poisoned?¡± "Don''t worry Nello, it''s only the mascara running off. I think she''s more scared of whether or not she''ll get any more free dinner from the boy. Tch, people like her are the worst." "...Bye bye lady. Please don''t be sad, or you''ll hurt your eyes more."
Pastrache soon got bored of the Witch begging the Musician for food and cr*p and decided to move on. She started to explore the club. Following closely behind her, was her friend the T-34 tank that was no taller than her hips. She found hisnew size cute, adorable even. One side wanted him to stay like that¡­ yet, the logical side told her that he was only useful if he was big enough to take on the flesh-ripping claws of a Manticore. Not to mention, she would lose her bonus moving cover. Sigh. *DING DING DING!* ¡°¡­Oh! B-Big Sis! Look at the man with the cool gogglesand the pretty lady who looks like a bird!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­.They look like a very odd couple, completely out of place¡­Hey wait, how come that guy has the same maple leaf like crest on his leather jacket? Could he be related to this club?¡± ¡°Hey, Sleipnir. Are you sure you got the right location? I find it very odd that a place like this would also have a run-way for my plane to land on so conveniently.¡± ¡°Oh pish-posh, Ray-Ray. Surely after many missions together you would come to trust this Canadian Witch by now? Tut-tu, let¡¯s not let the beer run cold.¡± ¡°I see now. So, that was your true objective the moment we received that myserious letter. What if this is a plot by the German Imperials to trap us. You¡¯re a Witch of the Canadian forces. I¡¯m a pilot of the Royal Naval Air Service. We¡¯re both targets of high value.¡± ¡°If young boys like you fret over every detail, they¡¯ll grow old and stay single.¡± ¡°When we walk out of this place in one piece, I''ll be cutting your rations for this week.¡±This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°Geh!? R-Ray-Ray is s-so cruel!¡± ¡°... Hey, Nello. They look different, yet why do they sound so similar to the Piano Boy and Witch Girl behidn us?" "...Maybe they''re brothers and sisters?" "Doubt it." Pastrache watched as two people enterted the club, the door swinging with the cheery bells. One was a young man in an odd looking uniform and a long scarf that would keep him warm if he was flying in the air. He took off his leather flight helmet and goggles to free his face as he curiously looked around. Right behind him was this lovely woman wearing a dress made of 1000 raven feathers, with black bridal gauntlets shielding the pale color of her arms. Long black silky hair, she would keep eyeing the pilot like individual with sultry eyes. ¡°¡­At least it¡¯s warm inside this bar. Normally it¡¯s -10 degrees around this time of year in Belgium.¡± ¡°See!Even you are starting see a positive in this negative-sounding predicament. I¡¯ve converted you. Fu-fu-fu.¡± ¡°Still, I feel bad leaving behind Black Maria outside.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry. It¡¯s not like the cold will freeze the blood in your wife. She¡¯ll live.¡± ¡°¡­She¡¯s not my wife. She¡¯s a Sopwith Triplane. Andshe''s not like the regular Sopwith One-And-One-half or even the Camel variant, her engine and oil tanks aren¡¯t as resistant to the cold. Let¡¯s just order something, see what¡¯s going on, and then go back to the Western Front¡­..Oh, hello Miss¡­Um¡­Are you the owner of this place?¡± ¡°Hmm¡ªGEH!? RAY-RAY! GET AWAY FROM THAT GIRL! SHE-SHE''S DANGEROUS!¡± ¡°¡­..What do you mean? Other than the fact she has pointed ears, she¡¯s waving at me more confused than me. Also, we¡¯re Canadians, so do our countrymen a favor and look nice.¡± ¡°IT¡¯S THE FACT THAT SHE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ME IS WHAT¡¯S DANGEROUS! S-STAY AWAY FROM HER!" The Half-Elf eyebrow and her one pointed ear twitched from the Raven Witch¡¯s outburst. She watched the woman in the elaborate feather dress try to pull back her friend the pilot from everyone, but the targetshe tried to defend continued to march forward to establish negotiations with the foreign entities. It started with a friendly Canadian Handshake with the Half-Elf Girl. ¡°Nice to meet you. Lieutenant Raymond Collishaw of the Royal Naval Air Service, Canadian Regiment. Which unit are you from?¡± (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21723/a-raymonds-raven-the-exploration-of-magic-in-world/chapter/309066/entry-1-the-diligent-pilot-and-the-lazy-raven) ¡°¡­Um..Pastrache Mooneye¡­L-Level 10 United Colony Marine class¡­Adventurer Rank 2.¡± ¡°And I¡¯m Nello! T-34-85Combat Unit of theSoviet 13th Tank Corp! Nice to meet you Mr. Canadian Sir!¡± ¡°Well nice to meet you, Miss Mooneye. And you to Nell¡­¡­Hmm? Tank? Strange, you don¡¯t look like a British Mark IV¡­rather you look more advanced than the ones we have in our tank regiments. Which country is Soviet?¡± ¡°Mother Russia, dah!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Only the British Forces have a working tank as of 1917¡­Were the Russian Empire working on a new prototype behind our backs? Hmm... this could deal considerable damage to the Triple Entente between Britain, France, and the Russians.¡± ¡°Ray-Ray, forget about these strangers. You already have me to love and to care for!¡± ¡°Yes. Indeed, which is a burden on my duties as a fighter pilot in the Great War.¡± ¡°G-geh!? D-don¡¯t make me sound like a pet you¡¯re forced to take care of for your friend! I-I''m not that troublesome!¡± "Every time you follow me in a mission in the air, you throw up. Worse, you make Black Maria dirty. I always have to clean up your mess after a sortie." "....................................... I...I promise to train my gut, I swear!" ¡°Cough. So, Miss Pastrache, are you the owner?¡± ¡°TURN YOUR EYES AWAY FROM THAT POINTY EAR VIXEN AND LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!¡± The Half-Elf had trouble understanding. These two from another corner of the world (read: universe) were surely odd. The young man who called himself Raymond Collishaw could be seen valiantly defending himself as his partner the Raven Witch suddenly hugged at his leg to beg him to look at her more. Like a child begging for her parents to take her to some exotic fantasy park in another corner of the country, ignoring the travelling expenses. Talk about attention seeking, Pastrache nodded. Still, she felt bad for the pilot. Raymond Collishaw saw her gaze, and as if reading her mind, he just returned an expression that looked like a man who walked out a casino, thousands of dollars in debt. ¡°Hang in there, Mr. Collishaw.¡± ¡°Thank you. Enjoy yourself, Miss Mooneye.¡± ¡°RAY-RAY! WH-WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THIS WITCH! DOES EVERY BOY IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE A FETISH FOR GIRLS WITH ELF EAAAAAAAARS!?" (Yes) The Pilot hobbled away, with the Raven Witch beind dragged at his leg as if an old ball and chain. The Half-Elf felt sorry for him. Until she heard the door open and tingle again.
Not at all prepared for what was going to happen, the Half-Elf turned to an atrocious sight. Only men would have the courage to face such fear with their eyes. ¡°Hey Boss Lady. This place is air conditioned. After spending many years out in the sand, my body can finally relax.¡± ¡°CAPRICORN, YOU IDIOT WOMAN! PUT SOME CLOTHES BACK ON! WE''RE NOT IN THE DESERT THAT LOOK LIKE A SCENE FROM A POST-APOCLYTPIC MOVIE ANYMORE! SO ¨C PUT ¨C SOME ¨C CLOTHES ¨C OOOOOOOOOOON!¡± ¡°BFFFFFFFFFFFFT!?¡± Pastrache did a beautiful spittake, upon seeing this naked woman enter the club. The new entrant didn¡¯t seem to care, she just bask in the cold air onto her chocolate-tanned colored naked skin and sighed with relaxation. It was like she had been working out in the desert all day, and this was the first time she felt the wind from an air conditioners in her entire life. All the while, this small girl with a long purple ponytail bursting through the same door to tackle the first woman with a large tarp she found outside on the street. ¡°Listen to me you reckless woman! W-we¡¯re no longer staying inside of the Renault Tank! So there is absolutely zero need for you to have an excuse to be naked! You¡¯re in the company of strangers, so please act like a normal woman for once!¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t mind." ¡°I DO! EVERYONE WILL THINK I¡¯M THIS SADISTIC B*TCH IN A MESSED UP RELATIONSHIP WHERE I FORCE THE MASOCHIST TO WALK AROUND CLOTHLESS WITH A COLLAR ON HER NECK LIKE A DOG!¡± ¡°¡­Sorry boss lady. I can¡¯t. I¡¯m sensitive to synthetic leather.¡± ¡°I¡¯LL F**KING SHOVE A SCREWDRIVER UP YOUR @SS IF YOU DON¡¯T SHUT UP!¡± ¡°............ Big Sis. The lady on the ground looks like she is being attacked. Should we help her?¡± ¡°Geh!? Nello! Don¡¯t look! Th-there¡¯s too much uncensored impurities going on right now! I-it¡¯s too much for your tank body to handle!¡± "Uwaaah. Big Sis''s hands are so warm...I can''t see anymore." While the two girls covered in sand, one naked and one clothed, wrestled on the floor Pastrache quickly protected her friend¡¯s innocence by covering his eyes...or, his on-board DT machine gun barrel and the tank cannon with her two hands. However, he was even more curious and suddenly brushedthem off with a nod of his cannon. "OOOOOHLOOK! Big Sis! Big Sis! There''s another another tank like me! O-only his nose is shorter!¡± ¡°¡­¡­*Crrrkkkk*¡±
<< Accessing HIDDEN CAMERA IN FLOWER POT for ''Travelling Reader''..... COMPLETE >>
Ignoring the two beautiful women mangling each other across the club floor, this armored vehicle entered through the front doors. It looked like a tank exactly like Nello, only an older model seeing how its body was designed differently. It also had a shorter nose and moved rather slowly. Somehow, it gave people the feeling this was the basis of what modern tanks should look like after the First World War... coincidence? ¡°*Crrrk¡­Crrrrk*¡± ¡°He''s speaking in a different language than me, b-but I can understand him! Th-this is so cool! Big Sis, c-can I play with him!?" ¡°¡­O..Of course, Nello. Just¡­ don¡¯t wander too far??¡± ¡°YAY! Come on, let¡¯s go and play around the tree with lots of rainbow lights. I¡¯m Nello by the way. What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°¡­.*Crrrrrk*¡­¡± ¡°Renault¡­FT¡­Oh!? I see, you were born in France! Hmm? Wow! I''ve never been to France. I''ve only grew up for five days in the middle of the war back in Stalingrad, fighting german Tanks...Uuuh. Thinking about how the German Tiger punched a hole in my head with her nose scares me...Let''s go and play!" (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/14698/sand-girls/chapter/173227/3-renault-v-and-armata) ¡°¡­¡­.*Crrrrrk*¡­¡± Pastrache couldn¡¯t help a small smile. While she watched her miniaturized Tank companion rolled off with the other short-nosed tank, she felt this sweet sensation swelling in her heart. Like two different puppy breeds meeting each other for the first time. The T-34 battle tank made a friend! ¡°Boss. I¡¯m hungry. Let¡¯s skip rations tonigh and dine al fresco.¡± ¡°I¡¯LL FRISK YOU WITH AN IRON BROOM UNTIL YOU PUT ON SOME CLOTHING TO HIDE YOUR PRIVATE PARTS! NOW HURRY UP AND WEAR THIS TARP!¡± ¡°¡­It smells like wet dog. I don¡¯t have that kind of fetish.¡± "CAPRICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!" Pastrache turned away, upon hearing a lovely iron wrench crack upon the skull of a certain naked woman. No need to be the witness to a possible trial. She saw nothing, she knows nothing, she didn¡¯t even wake up this morning.
The half-Elf started to dive deeper into this myserty, trying to get to the bottom of this case. If she had a bowler hat, a magnifying glass, and a silver badge reaing Toronto Constabulary, she would surely resemble¡­ never mind. Let¡¯s continue. ¡°Oh? Th-there¡¯s more wierdos in here. Were they all invited as well?¡± The more she wandered in the Bunny Club, the more pair of people she continued to see already sitting at bars and table. For example, she walked past one table where two men in modern looking uniform and helmets with reflective glasses were clinking their beer mugs with each other. Sitting on the corner of the table, was this big trophy, and with the girl¡¯s sharp eyes she read the enrgving: Winers of the World Dragon Race, United States. (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words/chapter/189672/18-american-dragon) ¡°Hey buddy. What was the Naval Policy in deaing with a serious firefight?¡± ¡°Send in the marines!¡± ¡°OORAAAH!¡± ¡°OORAAAH!¡± ... To Pastrache¡¯s left she could see two people sitting at the bar counter. One was a small girl who look like she shouldn¡¯t be drinking, and a writer who looked like he was poor beyond any pale. This awkward looking fridge with nothing inside sitting on the ground next to their stools like an obedient dog, opened with frost flowing out. Now that she mentioned it¡­ the young woman looked like penguin, or wearing a penguin suit. (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words/chapter/158980/6-writing-pen-pen) ¡°I love you!" "Uwaaah! Y-you''re just s-saying that be-because you''re drunk! We-we''re may be married but, am-am I really the right choice for you? I-I have live inside your fridge ju-just to survive!" "I''m not drunk! I only took a sip from my Long Island Tea just to spike my courage. I truly love you, a girl who hasn''t abandoned me because of my dead-end writing job! I gave that all up, and I will make you proud in being the waifu ofamanager of the local branchserving aninternational suits and ties corporation. This former dead-beat will make you happy, including your all of your body!" "Uwaaaah! D-don''t make me sound like a perverted housewife! I-I''m completely defenseless if you keep nibbling my fins and my neck like that! Aaaah! N-no, w-we can''t do it in the fridge! I-it''s the only thing to keep my body cold o-or else I''ll get a heatstroke!" ...Now, at another corner Pastrache could see two girls ¨C thank god ¨C who were sharing one table close to the stage. While they were listening to the Composer and the wailings of a Kimono Witch, the two girls were having a strong conversation with each other. To summarize, one was a mermaid and the other a selkie. FYI, a selkie is a mythical seal woman from Gaelic lore. (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words-a-series-of-small-worlds-born-from/chapter/317054/23-mermaid-of-plastic----nationalgeographic) ¡°Shut up, tuna girl! I told you once and I''ll tell you another 1000 times: I-I didn¡¯t abandon my children!! My husband stole my seal coat and hid it away so he could force me to marry him and pop out his children! I-I love my boy and girl, b-but I can¡¯t survive another 10 years on land. It was thanks to my daughter who told me where the horny b@stard put away my belongings was I able to escape into the ocean! Or else, I''ll wrinkleharder than the dried seafood sold ina local Chinatown store!¡± ¡°Hmmm. You say that, yet here you are drinking all by yourself like a regularsingle womanin a mid-life crisis. Honestly, we denizens of the sea should be better than the people on the land... However, I won''t stop you from enjoying a time to wind down. We did just spent the entire day clearning up 10,000 years worth of plastic bottles and plastic cr*p the humans left for us sea folk... F**k it, I''ll drink with you and down this....Oh...th-this wine bottle from the land called Ottawa looks exotic...It would be a wonderful part of my collection.........*Gulp*--GEGGEGEGFFFF!?" ¡°I¡¯ll told you 1000 times, I¡¯ll tell you another million times¡ªYOU¡¯RE NOT A GOD-D*MN FROG! SO STOP SHOVING BOTTLES DOWN YOUR F**KING THROAT AS IF IT WERE A KANGAROO POUCH!¡± ¡°Cough. Geeeeeegh!¡± ¡°¡­¡­Everyone is so weird hear. Thank god I¡¯m the only normal person in this club.¡±
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ OBJECTION! ~ You are a god-d*mn hypocrite. Apologize.
Pastrache said those words as her pointed ears happily twitched at her thoughts. She ignored the Selkie who was using her stomping foot as a form of CPR for the Mermaid who haf half of a wine bottle lodged in her throat. There was no need to ruin the mood by seeing such violence. ¡°¡­..But that still doesn¡¯t explain, why Nello and I was invited.¡± *PING-PING-PING!* ¡°Okay! Okay! Okay! This Bunny Narrator would like to thank all the invitees for coming! Welcome to the News Years Company-Class Collaboration Party!¡± ¡°¡­Hah?¡± Pastrache had two emotions right now. One, she was confused why there was this woman standing on a chair behind the bar counter, and tapping a knife across a fine wine glass in place of a church bell. Second, the Half-Elf was p*ssed as she saw this girl wearing this red bunny suit and fishnet stockings on her body. A pair of fake looking bunny ears were flopping up and down on the obnoxiously cheery woman¡¯s hair the color of emeraldfire. ¡°Yes, yes, yes! On behalf of all the beloved ¡®Travelling Readers¡¯, we¡¯re holding this special event to celebrate three important things in life!¡± ¡°¡­Three important things?¡± ¡°Number one! This is the first party to be held to allow everyone from cross-dimensions to gather in a single Pocket Space! Fortunately, it doesn¡¯t require this Bunny Narrator to sign up to any shady websites and pay a considerable fee after 14 days worth of free trial! So be grateful¡î.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know why. But I want to shove a wine bottled up her @ss to make her scream for the opposite reasons¡­W-Wait, h-have my status turned Chaotic Evil just from this frivoulous girl showing up!?¡± ¡°Second! It¡¯s been three years since we¡¯ve started to work in this Cyber Space full of Roads serving the Royal Family! It¡¯s time we make an effort to establish our existence and put on a for everyone passing by! Yes!¡î!¡± ¡°¡­¡­..No. I¡¯ll strangle her with her fake ears first.¡± ¡°G-gehh! Wh-why do I feel like my life is being target! A-ahem! A-and third, gulp. Th-this is a special ceremony to welcome a new employee to the Company Club!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­..Employee? Who?¡± As if to answer Pastrache¡¯s questions¡­ this ridiculously asburbedly huge green banner flipped down from the ceiling and unraveled like the obi sash of a woman''s Kimono. A series of crudely drawn handwriting could be seen scribbled on the banner. There were even some parts on the cloth that was struck out due to bad spelling and the stereotypical trailing lines with tiny letters as there was no more space left.
== Welcome PASTRA and NELL. Congratulations for 30+ Followers on first year! ==
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..What?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right! We¡¯re here to welcome lovely Pastra and cute little Nell to the GreenFlame Crew! Everyone give a round of applause!¡± The only person who was clapping at this announcement, was this chocolate-tanned naked woman. Her partner with a ponytail interrupted by tapping the naked woman''s head with a heavy looking wrench. No one else clapped. ¡°¡­Ray-Ray. Who is this woman they¡¯re talking about? D-don¡¯t just shrug and drink Canadian Whiskey behind my back!¡± ¡°¡­Chop-Chop. I-I don¡¯t know, but my position as your potential love candidate is being targeted. Should I begin a counterattack¡­Heh!? Y-you want to write another song! B-but you just wrote 20 before that ridiculous Bunny just up and spoke!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± Pastrache had a bad feeling. So While everyone was looking at the sexy bunny girl with no morals, she grabbed thedog-sizedT-34 tank and started to crawltowards the door, using his small body like a cardboard box. On cue, a spot light out of nowhere landed on her.
<< Your Stealth Check Failed. You''ve been Spotted!! >>
<< Your INT and DEX have decreased by one point for Critical Failure. >>
<< Your Status is: Proned. Enemies have Advantage over you. >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­F**k.¡± ¡°Hmm? Big Sis? Wh-why is it so bright all of a sudden!?¡± The Half-Elf¡¯s ears flinched. And she turned around. Everyone in the Bunny Club was staring at her. The male characters smiling and waving¡­ and the female characters glaring and sharpening the steak knives. Some of them look like Magicians, and pulled out their wands and staff to charge a ridiculously deadly spell for some reason. To add fuel to the fire, the exotic rabbit woman spoke up, with a f**king megaphone. Volume set to Maximum+1. ¡°That¡¯s right, little Elfy! Welcome to the workforce on these Roads serving the Royal Family and it''s citizens! We look forward to your hard work and adventures in the brand new year! Don¡¯t give up hope everyone, just work three times as hard and we¡¯ll all achieve her shining status!¡± ¡°¡­You¡­ rabbit..you¡¯re doing this on purpose.¡± ¡°Whatever do you mean? Ku-ku-ku¡î. We have a cake ready for you too! What wish would you like to make? As it''s the New Years, it should definitely come true¡î!¡± ¡°Hmm. I wish the Bunny Girl in charge of this messed up party to come within 0.5 meter radius from me, so I can thoroughly kick her @ss!¡± ¡°NUWOOOOH! W-WAIT! W-WAIT! TH-THERE IS A MI-MISUNDERSTANDING! TH-THIS IS AN-AN EL-ELABORATE I-INITIATION PRANK W-WE¡¯RE STARTING THIS YEAR! I-IT WAS TO MAKE YOUR FIRST YEAR HERE SUPER AWKWARD!! LIK-LIKE WHAT SENIOR STUDENTS DO-DO TO NEW COLLEGE STUDENTS! A-A HAZING! YES! YES!¡± ¡°Oh I see. Then looks like I¡¯ll have to return the favor by 10 fold. I¡¯ll haze you, little bunny, so hardthat your own tail will be hiding up that cute butt yours!¡± ¡°S-STOP! STOP! I-I¡¯M JUST TH-THE BUNNY NARRATOR WORKING HERE AS PA-PART-TIME! TH-THIS WASN¡¯T MY IDEA! TH-THIS SHAMEFUL PRANK I-IS NOT MY IDEA! I-I WAS COERCED TO-TO DO THIS OR ELSE I WON''T GET MY PAYCHEQUE O-OR NEW YEARS PAY!¡ª¡ªGYAAAAAH! HELP! HELP! TH-THE HALF-ELF ISGOING TO MOLEST ME WITH HER BOOT! I-I''LL REPORT YOU! H-HACKER! HACKEEEEEEEER!¡± ¡°I ¨C DON¡¯T ¨C CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!¡± ¡­ In the end, through all the one-sided violence, the banner that wrote ¡®Welcome Pastra and Nell to the family, everyone work hard like them¡¯, fell away to reveal another banner that was crudely drawn by the same hand. As the first was hung rather loosely with a string of rope that was tugged in the brawl, that meant this wasn¡¯t¡¯ the intended message to broadcast. Now, everyone in the Bunny Club who were gathered on the new day of the new year would read the following. A message for everyone.
Happy New Year, GreenFlame Crew! Thank you for all of your hard work in 2017, and 2018. We''ve acquired over: 90 Followers and 28,500 Readers!! Keep up the Great Work! We look forward to your Smiles in the New Future! EX-CEL-SIOR! --- ~~ GREEN FLAME!!~~
After reading that second banner, not only was everyone happy with this result - they decided to join Pastrache with kicking the sh*t out of the defensless Bunny Narrator. ¡°GYAAAAGGAA!NGAAAAA! D-DON¡¯T KICK ME BETWEEN MY LEEEEGS! I-I''M NOT THAT KIND OF GI--AGGAUU UUGGANN NNNAAAAAAAAANNH~??¡î??¡î??¡î??¡î??¡î??¡î!!!!!!¡± ¡°THIS IS FOR GIVING ME A JUMPSCARE THAT I¡¯LL BE SURGICALLY REMOVED AS THE MAIN HEROINEFROM MY CHOP-CHOP YOU B@STARD LITTLE GIRL!¡± ¡°AND THIS IS FOR BRAIN RAPING MY MIND FEARING THAT MY IDENTITY AS RAY-RAY¡¯S WIFE WAS IN JEOPARDY! SHAME ON YOU! LET ME STRANGLE HER WITH HER OWN EARS!¡± ¡°NEIN! HER EARS ARE MINE! NOW APOLOGIZE TO NELLO AND ME FOR SPELLING OUT NAMES COMPLETELY WROOOOOOOOOOONG!¡± ¡°HEEEELP! HEEEELP! HEROINE BRUTALITY! HEROINE BRUTALITYYYYYYYY!--GHEGGEFFFFFGGGG!!¡± ¡°¡­..hey Boss lady, can I join?¡± ¡°Put some god-d*mn close on before you throw your body inside the dogpile.¡± Happy New Year 2019 - Fellows of Royal Roads. ~~GreenFlame000 Be Thoughtful with your Secret Santa Gift, or an Innocent Person gets Punched -- (21st_Bunny??) :: Dear Diary¡­ I feel very bad. After knowing Nllo for about two weeks, I realized I haven¡¯t yet given him a proper present. Normally, I wouldn¡¯t have to be all gung-ho about it to a regular friend back at my home town (if I had a friend that was). It would, or at least I felt, be quite awkward. I only know you for three days,.. Just thinking about it is quite awkward. But Nello is different, Dear Diary! He saved me, more times than I could count all of my fingers and my thumbs. So it¡¯s only fair, I give him something nice. Consider it his birthday present¡­¡­.Oh right, when is his Birthday? Wait, do Tanks from Stalingrad have an birthday party!?.. I''m confused now! ::
¡°Nello. Do you want a boy or girl?¡± ¡°¡­Um¡­Are you asking me being reborn as a boy or girl or¡­Um¡­I think I would like to be a girl¡± ¡°¡­N-no. I-I meant do you want a boy or a girl pet!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­..Girl.¡± ¡°Are you seriously listning to me, Nello!?¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t want to be mad, but she ended up being scto-raving mad. She had spent a good three hours sitting around on the soft grassy patch in the middle of a hidden forest, right outside of the capital city gates of the Guild she belonged to. Sure, she could stay within the walls and enjoy the magically air-conditioned streets and have a nice Pistachio Colada Gelato on a hot Sunday afternoon, but she can¡¯t. She just couldn¡¯t. Not because she hated the children who would run around and pinch her cute @ss. Not because the men would run around and pinch her cute @ss. And definitely not because the weoman would charge her and grope her butt in broad daylight. Her friend was a tank. Bringing him inside would already be a provocation of war. Not to mention, the capital city gates was too small for him. There was no way he had any change in his ¡®pockets¡¯ to pay for the damages. So, the responsibility would rest on his beloved Big Sister¡¯s shoulder, Half-Elf Girl Pastrache. There was no way she had enough change in her pockets to pay for the damages. ¡°Listen to me Nello. I¡¯ll be very frank. I want to give you something nice, a present for all the hard work you¡¯ve done in my previous quests and adventures. Why, if it weren¡¯t for you, I may have been the mother of 10 Dire Wolve Babies and three Manticore Infants.¡± ¡°¡­¡­..Wow, Big Sis is amazing. I didn¡¯t know you can have that many children.¡± ¡°Nello. I love you, but don¡¯t make me punch you.¡± ¡°Nuwoooh! W-wait! B-Big Sis! I-I¡¯m sorry, I-I didn¡¯t mean to say it if it offended you! I-it¡¯s kind of a compliment to-to Russian Women. O-or I think that¡¯s what the soldiers in the Red Army say wh-while they st-stand at guard! P-please don¡¯t hurt me!¡± Nello, the T-34 Soviet Tank that stood about 2.5 meters tall and carried about over 900 pounds worth of 42 mm armor plating, trembled. Kid you not, his 3 meter long nose and including his anti-infantry machine gun were shaking like twin children about to face the greatest nightmare of their lives¡­ the step mother straight from a bad fairy tail (#NotAllModernStepmothers). Despite his size, his absurd armor class, and being 12 times higher level than the Half-Elf Adventurer, the tank did not dare to provoke the small girl with a killer look in her eyes. The expression of a scorned woman ready to shove more than a rolling pin up someone''s @ss. ¡°¡­Cough. Anyway, back to the main topic at hand. That is more important.¡± ¡°Oh thank the Tsar.¡± ¡°But I won¡¯t forget about this¡­ ever.¡± ¡°Oh Tsar please help me!¡± The T-34¡¯s cannon nose continued to shake as it turned its turret head away. With the voice of a small quivering child, it tried not to gnash his ¡®teeth¡¯ together to much. ¡°Wh-what d-do-do you plan on getting m-m-m-m-me fo-for a p-p-p-present?¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you hear me the first time, I was thinking about getting you a pet!¡± ¡°¡­Oh¡­Um¡­Are you sure? I-I don¡¯t want to¡­ you know, run it over with my tracks by accident.¡± ¡°No, no, no. I¡¯m not thinking about a Shiatsu, Scottish Terrier or even a Calico Cat the size of your palms... my palms. Ahem. No. The smaller they are the more troublesome they get. Also, they¡¯re too young to be potty trained so¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­Uuuuh. I-I don¡¯t want them to get my head dirty!¡± Thinking of something so gruesome no teenager, hospital worker, or government official should ever experience in their life time, the T-34 dropped his tank barrel as a way of cringing and shutting his eyes close. A self-defense mechanism (#Freud!). ¡°Th¡­then what do you plan on getting for me, B-Big Sis? I-if not a small cat, dog, or¡­OH! OH! WH-WHAT ABOUT A MINK!?¡± ¡°¡­What¡¯s a Mink?¡± ¡°Uh¡­I-it¡¯s kind of like a ferret, but it¡¯s not really. I-it can be white, silver, or black. Uuh. It can swim, but always walk around like a fox. Only it¡¯s not like a giant sturgeon or a real fox.¡± ¡°¡­Nello. I don¡¯t understand your logical pattern. Are you sure you¡¯re not making this up?¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m honest! I saw a Tank General actually carry a real mink on his shoulder! It would climb up and down his leg and body, it can even salute when we sing the Russian National Anthem!... But, I don¡¯t know why its sister looks so quiet and so still while hanging on the General''s wife¡¯s neck. They both look warm.¡± ¡°Moving on.¡± ¡°B-Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiis!¡± And like any good younger sibling, the T-34 Tank whined as the Half-Elf Big Sister curled her finger through her blonde sidetail in thought. ¡°As much as I would like to make you happy, Nello, I don¡¯t know what a mink is. If I don¡¯t know it, that means it¡¯s exotic, and if it¡¯s exotic, either it¡¯s under the endangered list or super expensive¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Um¡­¡­.Big Sis¡­My cannon shells can regenerate over time, maybe it¡¯s because I was reborn and given a slightly different body¡­If it helps you could sell those.¡± ¡°No! O-of couse not! I won¡¯t sell Nello¡¯s organs just to buy you a Mink for your birthday! I¡¯m not that cruel of a Big Sister!¡± ¡°Waaaaaah. Big Sis is so kind¡­But¡­ my artillery shells aren¡¯t really my organs.¡± Pastrache folded her arms across her waist, clicking her tongue. The same way a mother would when she noticed a broken vase at her son¡¯s feet, and he was trying his best to hide the M4 Carbine airsoft rifle behind his small back. Adorable, but no.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. The Half-Elf took a minute to calm down, rocking her fine legs up and down across the grass. It wasn¡¯t the side of a bed, but moving her feet every now and then kept her blood circulation going, and it refreshes her mind. She kept staring at her nice colored stockings that go up over her knees and stop halfway at the thighs. Instead of wearing a skirt, she was wearing a pair of skin-tight hot pants made of thick material. Good for battle, sprinting, and flexible?. ...If only it had enough armor points to deflect random men pinching her @ss and random women groping her more than her butt! ¡°Seriusly! Do the women of this current generation have any morales about respecting another¡¯s body!?¡± ¡°¡­Big Sis, I¡¯m confused now.¡± ¡°Your birthday present, let us focus on that.¡± ¡°B-but it¡¯s not really my¡ªOkay I¡¯ll be quiet.¡± Pastrache was being thoughtful in trying to think of the best gift to offer to Nello. In order to focus, she shot him a quick look to make him quiet. She wasn¡¯t mad, it was just that she disliked unnecessary noises when she pondered. It would disturb her train of thought. Like her mother when mulling over house finances. ¡°Before I can properly decide, I need you to answer me a few questions.¡± ¡°O-okay¡­Gulp¡­¡± ¡°Question One: When were you born?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Um¡­.January 7¡­ 1943! Yes! R-right in the middle of the Battle of Stalingrad.¡± ¡°Stop.¡± ¡°Meap.¡± Pastrache then thought deeply, to the point where she played with her long blonde hair that was tied into a side-tail. Curl, curl, curl, unravel. Curl curl curl, unravel. The way it bounced was like an animation mimicking a cute thunderbolt tail of a certain electric mouse... or, the tail of a pig for those who are of Western descent. ¡°I see now. Alright, second Question: Do you like big or small.¡± ¡°Big. Definitely big. I mean¡­ I don¡¯t want to accidentally run it over. It has to be big so I can see them.¡± ¡°Hmm. You¡¯re right, otherwise it would be a waste of a gift.¡± ¡°¡­Right¡­I think.¡± ¡°Last question Nello and be honest: ... Boy or girl.¡± ¡°Girl.¡± ¡°A-at least think it through!!!¡± ¡°H-heh? B-Big Sis, w-were you insinuating th-that I should have went with boy?¡± ¡°¡­Unless you¡¯re into that kind of thing.¡± ¡°Girl. I want a girl. I¡¯ve seen too many boys running around with guns back in Stalingrad. I-I want a cute girl like Big Sis.¡±
<< Nello praised you. You received -10,000 Emotional Damage. >>
<< WARNING: Your Heart''s status is Prone, everyone had advantage over your body. >>
<< Your Relationship with Nello has increased to 81%.Stop fantasizing and get Married already!>>
¡°Bbggffffggg! H-hold on! L-let¡¯s not drag me into the c-c-c-criteria¡­(Uwa-uwa-uwa. I-if I belonged to Nello as if he were a man¡­ kyaaaa¡­he¡¯ll break my body in the honeymoon).¡± ¡°Hmm? I didn¡¯t hear you Big Sis.¡± ¡°I love you~¡î.¡± ¡°Oh! I love you too Big Sis!¡± Despite saying those words that would make woman swoon (only), Pastrache focused on hiding the red color on her face while attempting to calm down. Now that she had acquired the necessary information, it was time for the final conclusion. Her answer was. ¡°I know the best present to get for you Nello! You will definitely like her!¡± ¡°Oh wow. Do I get a new custom paint job for my wheels and¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Who''s her?¡± ¡°A lusticore.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­.What¡¯s that.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know a Monster Girl when you hear one?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Um¡­No¡­Should I?¡± Pastrache stared up at Nello with her innocent blue eyes. Nello stared back down at her with his innocent 76.5 mm tank barrel. Without further ado, the beautiful Half-Elf girl got up to her feet, and whisper something to Nello¡¯s ¡®ear¡¯ on her tip toes. If he was a real boy, he would have exploded red¡­ in facthis V12 Diesel Engine ignited so hard, he turned red hot all over like a hot pokerfresh out ofa fireplace. ¡°H-HEH!? A-A GIRL THAT DOES THIS AND THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?¡± ¡°Of course. That¡¯s what Monster Girls are for. It''s all a rage amongst single men these days.¡± ¡°W-wait. B-Big Sis! A-are you saying you¡¯re going to b-b-b-b-buy me¡­a wife?¡± ¡°No, no, no. A monster girl. They¡¯re not as common around here as like in other continents outside of the kingdom, but they¡¯re still a popular commodity in some capital cities. Why, I¡¯ve seen Adventurers going to specialized shops and stations to find Centaur Knights as their mount, a Golem Girl as their companion and familiar, some times a Minotaur to be a combat partner AND doubles as a housewife. I don''t get what''s all the fuss really, but they look super useful!" ¡°H-heh!? Heh!? Heeeeeh!?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t believe me? Come with me to Station Nine and Five Quarters in the West and I¡¯ll show you!! They got all kinds of Monster Girl pets you could choose. Lake Nereids, Flowery Alraunes, Elementals Spirits, Thunderbird Warrior, to even my personal favorite - Bunny Girls! But those are hot on the market and super expensive, otherwise I would have got one for myself as my personal maid to handle my inventory and finances!" "B-Big Sis! I-I don''t think I-I can handle all of this and that o-or get used to someone else touching my armor. Y-you can''t--" "Ah right. There''s even intelligent Slimes who take on the shape of a woman to make their masters happy, super hit amongst the woman in my guild! Oh, now that I recall I heard there is a 50% off on all Succubus-type purchases this week... We have to go, while the sale is still active! I would be saving up on a lot of money if I was able to get you a company who would never ever make you feel lonely again. She''ll know how to make you real happy like the other boys! Once she gets to know you, she''ll definitely warm up on your sweet spots!¡î" ¡°AND BIG SIS I-IS OKAY WITH THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?¡± Nello said those words as loud as a small child could and as hard as a T-34 Soviet Tank could handle without blowing off the ears of his best friend. Pastrache the Half-Elf Girl gave the tank a silent look, before tilting her head. ¡°Of course I¡¯m willing to pay to buy you a nice Monster Girl. I only want the best for Nello! I always feel bad for leaving you alone whenever I go into town to do something. So getting you a Monster Girl Pet to babysit you while I''m away is the perfect gift Big Sister could give you! Also, I heard they''re exceptionally good at cooking, housekeeping, and cleaning. For someone as heavyset as you who always charges through mud and pon water, a vigorous Lusticore with a decent upperbody strength and legs is the right match for you!" ¡°B-but, but, but, th-that¡¯s too much for my b-body to handle! M-my engine will definitely explode!¡± "Come on, let''s get going! I''m excited to see what special offers I would get if I were to purchase a Monster Girl during the Summer Season! Who knows, we might get two for the price of one!" ''BIG SIS! PLEASE CONSIDER MY FEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!" ... In the end, Pastrache went with buying a silk scarf for Nello. Everything else was super expensive. "Uwaaaah. My nose is so warm. I like this present very much, Big Sis! Thank you!" ¡°(Scaredy Cat. Can''t even handle a simple Monster Girl)¡± ¡°H-heh? Heh? I-I can''t hear you¡± ¡°How¡¯s the scarf Nello? I hope 100 GP was worth it. (music)¡± ¡°¡­Y¡­Yeeeeeeeeeeeesss Siiiiiiiiir (TxT)\.¡±
<< Super Sales: 50% Off on all Succubus-type Monster Girls - IS OVER >>
<< Please check our Headquarters on the Ethereal Net Drive for further sales updates. >>
{ Thank you for your Patronage. Please Come Back Again? }
When the Diary Gets to Speak her Thoughts on the Matter of Friendship. All Rise. -- (22nd_Diary) :: U-uum¡­H-hello Little book. M-my name is Nello. Um. Sorry to bother you, b-but Big Sis Dropped you when she had to go back to the city to buy some food. U-um. D-don¡¯t worry. I-I¡¯ll be taking care of you until she comes back. D-don¡¯t worry, I-I promise not to look at you, I-I mean not in a bad way like men to weoman, bu-but I promise not to look at your secrets¡­Um¡­¡­.Does¡­Does Big Sis ever mention about me? ::
¡°Um..Hello¡­Um¡­Do you have a name, little girl?¡± [QAZRFV__NOTGBIKM] ¡°¡­Um¡­I don¡¯t know what you just said. Eeer¡­I don¡¯t speak anything but Russian¡­Wait, if Big Sis doesn¡¯t know Russian¡­H-how are we able to talk to gether for so long?¡± [YHNRFV__PLMY__NHQT__???] Nello was a T-34 Soviet tank. For those of you who know that, please treat yourself to Korean Barbecue with extra Kim Chi. Tell the manager of the local store that a Canadian Bunny Girl has introduce you to that place. If they ask any further questions, just smile and nod and order lots of food. Thank you. For those of you who are meeting Nello for the first time, don¡¯t worry, he won¡¯t bite. He can shoot a 76.5 mm high impact armor piercing round, but he¡¯s quiet gentle. Honest. See, he¡¯s waving his 3 meter tank barrel around as if mimicking a plane made by a human hand. ¡°Sometimes I see planes like the MiG-3 go, fwooooosh, up into the air, and then ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga at the German Messerschmitt fighters orStuka Bombers.Planes like them are really cool when they fight in the air. I¡¯m a tank, so I can only fight in tight cities and most of the buildings are destroyed, so I have no cover. It''s very hard to fight back without having something to hide behind.¡± [...ITGB__DONTRFV__CAREUJMIKN] Nello could be found sitting in front of a small pond. It was covered with a flock of Maple Mallards that were swimming about on the surface, taking a dip every now and then to wash their feathers and wings. On the occasion, two males would be biting at each other¡¯s neck until one submitted. The female they were fighting for would always walk away from the mortal combat with a shake of her duck bill and a scornfaul quack.It was quiet a lovely sight to see. Sitting next to him, was not the Half-Elf big sister that he loved and protected. No, she seriously was in town looking for food and filling up her inventory for a future quest she was about to take for her Guild. But the Tank wasn¡¯t alone. There was this small girl no taller than Pastrache¡¯s knee¡­ or¡­ exactly the same height as Nello''s track ¡®legs¡¯. She was pale, not in a good way but not in an unhealthy way. To summarize, she looked like a spectre produced by a scientific hologram, the radio-blue all over with a transparent yet solid-like body. Long hair she kept free to wash down her small back and tiny shoulders, she could be seen sittng on top of Nello¡¯s armored tracks with her feet dangling and swinging. She preferred to be barefeet, because her holographic Dorothy Ann shoes were always tight and could befound sitting on the grass (also a holographic image). ¡­Dorothy Ann¡­ you know¡­Heel Click Heel click¡­.Ahem. There''s no place like home, there¡¯s no place like home... Okay, which of you readers are from Kansas, United States. Anyone!? ¡°Um¡­Do you have a name, o-or do you like being called Dear Diary?¡± [YHNTGB__NOEDCWSX__NEEDQAZYHNIJB] ¡°Oh. I see. So, you really have no say in the matter. You just go with it. I get it now.¡± [WSXRGN__DUMBTGBRF__???] ¡°¡­Ah, I get it. So Big Sis likes to call you that because it¡¯s easier to remember. It makes sense.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.] ¡°Hmm-hmm. Yes, indeed. Big Sis is a smart girl and she will do anything to make sure you grow into a nice person.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­LIARYHNTGB___!!!.]
<< ??? used HOLOGRAM PUNCH on Nello. It was super effective!>>
<< Nello was dealt -100 Bludgeoning Damage and -9000 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Nello''s Health Points are: 425/525. Please heal. >>
¡°BUGYAFFFG!?¡± The Hologram Girl sitting on Nello¡¯s tracks swung her tiny fist. It was the size, shape, and mass of an apple. Yet, the moment it struck the armored tureet head, the voice of a young boy yelped in pain. Even the 3 meter nose was waving up and down. If there was a white cloth tied to the end, his message was clear. ¡°I-I surrender! I surrender! E-even if there¡¯s no more land behind the Volga, I surrender! D-don¡¯t hurt me!¡± [¡­¡­HMPHUJMTGB] ¡°Y-yes. I-I admit. I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re saying. I-it sounds like a broken radio m-making a lot of beeping and blurbing noises!¡± The Hologram Girl strikes again.
<< Nello received -100 Blugdeoning Damage. Health Points are now 325 / 525. Please dodge. >>
¡°GUNYAAHGG! I-I MEAN A BEAUTIFUL RADIO! A BEAUTIFUL RADIO!¡± Appeased with those false words, the Hologram Girl who looked like a 10 year old child folded her arms in victory and nodded with pride. ¡­Wow. [YHNUJM__MEQAZPLM__WINNEREDCWSX__!!!] ¡°Still. No matter what you say, I-I only hear GI-GI-GU-GU-GA-GA or¡­ something a radio says when it¡¯s looking for a frequency.¡± (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qb3-RqVzVI) Another strike inbound.
<< Nello received -100 Blugdeoning Damage. Health Points are now 225 / 525 >>
<< WARNING Health is down to 40%. Dodge already Nimrod >>
<< Please seek Physiotherapy counsellingfor your poor Reflex Stats >>
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. ¡°PLEASE DON¡¯T HIT ME! PLEASE DON''T HIT ME! I-IT¡¯S THE TRUTH!¡± Nello¡¯s nose flopped down into the ground. Due to it¡¯s length, it ended up splashing into the pond. It scared the cr*p out of the hundreds of Maple Mallard ducks washing their bodies and fighting over women. Literally. So children, always test the water before you jump inside it. This narrator doesn¡¯t care if you have to send samples to a Animal Health Laboratory in Prince Edward Island - waitfor the results to come back as negative (no bacteria, parasites, or fresh water sea lice), before you cannon ball into a shady looking lake. Think of your future children. [¡­.....FUKRFVIKMTGB__!!!] The Hologram Girl sighed. Whatever she said or was trying to say ended up being garbled up. It was like the sound robots in early 1960s movies would try to make with the weird diodes beeping or electric BIRI BIRI¡­long story. As if realizing this herself, the Hologram Girl¡¯s shoulder dropped and her hair fell in a big curtain over her face. With how badly her body trembled, it looked like she was going to cry. ¡°WAI!T D-DON¡¯T CRY! PLEASE DON¡¯T! I-IF BIG SIS COMES BACK AND SEES YOU LIKE TH-THIS, N-NOT ONLY WILL SHE THINKS I¡¯M BULLYING YOU! S-SHE¡¯LL THINK I WAS READING HER SECRET DIARY ON PURPOSE! GAAAH! SHE¡¯LL BREAK MY NOSE FOR SUUUUURE!¡± ¡­¡­¡­.She sneezed.
<< ??? unintentionally used CASUAL SNEEZE. Dealt Nello -99,999 Emotional Damage >>
<< Nello''s Health Point is now 200 / 535. Calm down boy >>
¡°PLEASE DON¡¯T SCARE ME LIKE THAAAAAAAAAT!¡± [UJMTGBQAZ__*sniff*] To summarize, the Hologram Girl happened to be Pastrache¡¯s diary (LE GASP!). Whenever she was on standby or idle, she would hide inside a generator in the shape of a leather book. This was mostly a disguise to prevent robbers from taking something as valuable as herself. Then, whenever Pastrache believes she was alone she would pull it out and it would automatically project the aritifical intelligence that slept in the leather bound transceiver. Every night, or every early morning, she would wake up the Hologram Girl who was only half-a-head taller than the Half-Elf''s hips. Even when the artificial intelligence was busy rubbing her eyes at dawn or yawning profusely at dusk, she would always listen and record whatever Pastrache said. Unfortunately, it was her job. So¡­ essentially, a live recording automaton or some sort. Meaning anyone could approach her and ask her to replay all of its catalogged entries from day one to present. Of course, this could be avoided with a simple password security¡­¡­¡­.but Pastrache was¡­well, Pastrache.
<< SHARED LINK: Pastrache sneezed received -100 Emotional Damage. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..] Psst. Psst. Dude, the character was a living recorder in the shape of a Holographic Girl. This isn''ta date, so why is there this absurd dead air between the two!? Talk!~ Talk!~ Talk!~ Talk!~ Talk!~ (#NotFightFightFightFightFight) ¡°¡­¡­¡­..Um...Do you like the name Dear Diary?¡± [¡­¡­¡­NOYHBWSX.] The Hologram Girl shook her head. ¡°¡­Do you want me to give you a¡­ new name.¡± Once more, the Hologram Girl shook her head. [OLPRFVUJMEDC]] ¡°You¡­think it¡¯s troublesome to remember names?¡± A nod. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Oh¡­¡­..¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­] ¡°¡­¡­Um... How about Annie.¡±
<< Nello received -100Blugdeoning Damage. Health Points are now100 / 525 >>
<< WARNING Health is down to 10%.For the Love of Goddess, What is Wrong with you!? Duck!!>>
The Hologram Girl slammed a fist into the dead center of Nello¡¯s anti-infantry machine gun. The time between launch and contact did not give the poor Tank enough time to even go ''Heh?''. Thwack! Right in the-- ¡°GYAAAAAA AAAAAGGAGA AGAAAA! M-MY EYE! MYYY YYYYYY EEEEEEYYY YYYYYYY YYYYEE!¡± The T-34 Soviet Tank reeled in ¡®pain¡¯, with its tracks ratling back and forth while his 3 meter nose was flipping up and in down, like a man in pain flailing his arms. Despite the attack he experienced, something small and cold touched the top of his turret head. [...POKQAZ___YHNUJM...] ¡°¡­¡­..Heh? Wh-what?¡± Nello would pause in his reeling as that same hand patted him on the top of his swivelling head. It was surprised to see it belonged to the Hologram Girl who had went straight for his eye with a left hook not too long ago (#NotEvenOneSecond). It was hard to see her, because of his ¡®puffy black eye¡¯, but he thought he swore he saw her smiling. When his vision did clear, she had this expression like any other robot. Poker Face. [YHNWSX__STUPID] ¡°¡­¡­You intentionally said that last part for me to understand.¡± [¡­DELUSIONALYHN__WSX__UJMEDC] ¡°D-don¡¯t look away from me when I saw through you! I-it¡¯s mean! To hit my eye, and now calling me a dummy! I-I¡¯ll¡­I¡¯ll¡­..I¡¯LL TELL ON BIG SIS!¡ªGUBYAAAAAGGAAAAA! MY NOOOOOOOSE!¡± This time, the Holographic Girl didn¡¯t resort to violence. She didn¡¯t use her fist, neither did she use a weapon. She straight up massacred the poor T-34 Soviet Tank with a drop kick into his 3 meter long barrel. His head swung in a sharp 90 degree, gears cracking as it twisted. Followed by the voice of a boy who was clutching his broken nose.
<< You received -49 Bludgeoning Damage. Your Health Status is now: 51 / 525. >>
<< Your Condition is: Slowed, Blinded, Dazed, Confused, Disorientated. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Are You Listening to Me!? You Dolt!? ~ You p*ssed off the Mystical Notification System for not heeding her advise. Don''t talk to her again.
¡°A-am I bleeding? Oh no! B-Big Sis will get mad at me if she saw how weak I was! H-how can I protect her i-if I look like I was being bullied by a little girl.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.ANGERUJMTGB___TCH!!] "OW! S-STOP IT! TH-THAT HURTS! GAAH! B-BIG SIS! BIG SIS! HELP ME! YOUR DIARY IS BULLYING MEEEEEE!" Before Nello could recover to defend himself, the Hologram Girl stomped all over his body and grabbed the barrel of his anti-infantry machine gun in one hand. With her other hand clenched into a fist the size, mass, and shape of an apple. [NOYHN__TELLINGWSX__GOTITRFVYHN__!?!?!?] ¡°Y-yeeees¡­I-I won¡¯t tell on you to Big Sis¡­.Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaah (TxT).¡± And like any boy caught under the bare foot of a young girl on the playground, the T-34 Tank cried. When You Carry Too Much, Give your Shopping Bags to an Officer -- (23rd_Constable) { Dear Diary - This is a draft I¡¯m writing down on a napkin from the Guild Canteen because I left you behind with Nello by accident. - I knew I shouldn¡¯t have been rolling around in the grass to motivate myself to work hard. - I¡¯ve finished my shopping and I¡¯m about to head back, but the local armor and adventuring gear shops have caught my interest. I haven¡¯t properly find the right armor for myself. - Now that I¡¯ve reached Level 9, I should do something about not wearing bare clothing to a battle. They¡¯ll break and the seams just burst open in the wrong places. - Honestly, I¡¯m not sure if the clothing designer for my top and pants is an old age pervert!? I¡¯ll re-record this when I find you later. Love, and sorry. }
¡°Top of the morning to you dear lass. Fine weather we¡¯re having, eh?" ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m a lesbian.¡±
<< You dealt Constable -1000 Emotional Damage. Please seek counselling or get arrested. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ HeyConstable Krupke! KRUP-YOU! ~ You insulted an Officer of the Law in broad daylight. Are you into Handcuff Play or something!?
¡°Gugh!? Wh-what makes you think I¡¯m hitting on you! A-and look at my uniform! I-I¡¯m really a Constable of the Royal Guards! M-my duty is to uphold the law of the city, n-not abuse my authority!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..I¡¯m still a lesbian.¡± ¡°D-don¡¯t shrug me off like that!? D-do I really look like a bad guy here!?¡± Pastrache was busy. She had finished up buying some rations, water, and some supplies necessary for surviving in long-term quests or camping out doors. She was thinking over which missions to take when she passes by her Adventuring Guild. Some were high level above her, so she could get some bonus, but they would be difficult even with Nello¡¯s help. Some were below her level, but after tasting thedelicacy calledlevelling up faster, she can¡¯t go back to regular grinding. Not even an Anonymous Help Group could do anything to remove the thrill of skipping several levels in a LitRPG setting like this. It''s... just toosweet to let go... Sigh. "...Should I take the mission where I try and beat up Grey Orcs that have been preying onmen in a local village during the mating season... or, should I take the mission where Mandrakes are preying on innocent women during their mating season. Hmm...Both offer really good rewards... Hmm..." "I don''t know what you''re talking about both sounds awfully dangerous on too many accounts. A-and are you even paying attention to this Constable miss!?" But Pastrache''s choices weren¡¯t just a flip of a coin or ''eenie meenie, mineymoe, catch a tiger by the toe, if it hollers get the f**k out''type of situation. It was serious. One mission had benefits but more danger, and she lacked funding to buy suitable equipment to survive. Some jobs were easy, but she would feel it was a waste of manpower. This is what Sun Tzu meant picking your battles. Know thy enemy and know thyself, and you can kick @ss every time you shake hands with the enemy. Quote this narrator. ¡°Listen here, young lady. If you try and cause any trouble for an officer for the law, I¡¯ll have no choice but to¡ª¡° ¡°POLICE BRUTALITY! POLICE BRUTALITY!¡± ¡°GEGGG! I-I¡¯M NOT A POLICE! I¡¯M A CONSTABLE! TH-THAT¡¯S A DIFFERENT PROFESSION ALTOGETHER IN THIS CITY!! I-I SERVE THE KING!¡± ¡°CONSTABLE BRUTALITY! CONSTABLE BRUTALITY!¡± ¡°N-now see here, young lady. Don¡¯t you dare cause a scene right now, I¡¯m only two hours away from the end of my beat! I''m not in the mood to stay behind in the Station House to write up an unnecessary report, are you listening to me?¡± The Half-Elf Girl was harassing a particular man in the middle of the street. Not the other way around. The gentlemen was true to his word and was in full uniform as he tried to calm down the misbehaving girl. Donned in ablack blazerwith golden buttons, decorated with a silver whistle tied to a lovely chain, and wearing what looked like a pith style helmet with a leaf like badge emblazoned on the front. Almost like an officer of the British Armed Forces¡­ during the Empire days. So to speak. Hmm.
<< You gain +200 EXP for causing CIVIL UNREST. You gained the Skills Rioter Lv. 1 >>
<< Your relationship with CONSTABLE ??? has increased by 10%. You are his Troublemaker. >>
¡°Please don¡¯t make this difficult! I¡¯m trying to make an honest living!! I only get 1.25 GP per hour! It''s barely enough to support my little sisters! D-don¡¯t just up and write down my badge number out of the blue with a complaint that didn¡¯t even happen. It would look bad on my record!¡± ¡°I¡¯m reporting you! I don¡¯t care how nice you are or if you carry old ladies across the street! I¡¯m reporting you for sexual harassment!!¡±Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± "...... Oh please don''t miss. Th-this is the third time today a girl has made a false complaint about me so-so she could force me to pay her off. I-I don''t have any more coins. I-if this gets back to the Inspector, he''s going to make me eat my badge... And I''ll have to say nickel and chrome don''t taste very appealing." "........... You tasted a badge?" "Long story. There was this one time two summers ago, my Sister Ruby tried to run a side business in metallurgy for the church, and I would helped in sorting them out. But she didn''t have a water basin to wash my hands, so I ate my sandwich as is and it taste very funny, made my mouth rather numb and---" ¡°Not my problem. I¡¯m not your inspector, neither am I your sister waiting for you to come home to cook food, buy her cheap toys to please her, and read bed time stories to her every night.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ How do you know I read bed time stories to my Sister Pearl?¡± ¡°Oh my god, did I become a Psychic?... Wait, i-if that was true, wh-why didn¡¯t I get the skill or the achievement!? I-I don¡¯t uderstand. Is my Ethereal Notification System broken!?¡± ¡°Well technically about the the story part. There aren''t any good reading material nowadays so I write my own to--" ¡°That¡¯s even worse, making your sister a guinea pig! Not every girl is into being the protagonist of a shady @ss Dungeon Play!¡± ¡°Now look here, that was uncalled for! Do you have any idea that I could arrest you for¡ª¡° ¡°POLI¡ª¡ªCONSTABLE BRUTALITY! CONSTABLE BRUTALITY!¡± "Oh please not so loud! Th-the other housewives are looking at us and shaking their heads at me! I-I''ll end up being a bachelor for the rest of my life if they tell their daughters I''m no good!"
<< You gained +300 EXP for causing CIVIL UNREST+1. Your Skill is now Rioter Level 2!! >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ~ You''re the new Troublemaker in Town. Make yourPredecessors Proud. Yeee-haaaw!!
The poor, poor Constable on a minimum wage felt defeated. Knowing he was once again fighting a losing battle, he had no choice but to submit in unconditional surrender. As part of his surrending terms, he would offer the Half-Elf girl five silver pieces from his shallow pockets. "That''s all I have left after the first two girls scammed me... I don''t have anything else to persuade you." ¡°¡­¡­..Oh, such a wonderful officer of the law. Oh-ho-ho~?" ¡°Okay, that¡¯s it. I¡¯ll definitely¡ª¡° ¡°CON¡ª¡° Another three silver pieces hiding in the ankle of his socks, and Pastrache shut up. ¡°By the way. As you are a man, I might need your assistance.¡± ¡°... Hold on now. You¡¯re not going to make any more troube for me now? Look, I just want to go home and not have the inspector gut me alive for screwing up a simple beat again. Even my partnerleft me alone to the Mongoose and Ferret Tavern for a drink¡­I just... Don¡¯t do this to me... please.¡± ¡°¡­If you call me Beautiful Princess of the Royal Family, I¡¯ll consider.¡± "........................" The Poor Constable took a moment to look around. Any eyes that were on him and the girl were starting to fade. If he remains in Stealth Mode a little longer, he would be socially invisible. "...Please no, that''s treason." The Half-Elf Girl nodded¡­ and tookonedeep breath to prep her lungs for full auto speaker. ¡°Beautifulprincessoftheroyalfamilypleasespareme!"
[CONSTABLE SCREEN] << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Tongue Twister Veteran ~ Recited a complicated Phrases that other people would bite their tongues onat 10 times speed. First take. First try.
¡°Veeeerrry good, my loyal subject. Oh-ho-ho. Ahem. Now carry these bags for me." "Guwaaaaahggg!?"
[ CONSTABLE SCREEN ] << WARNING: Inventory Overcapacity! You''re carrying too much to run. >>
The Poor Constable stagged as Pastrache tapped a holographic screen to eject some of her packaged items and shopping material from a magical portal and onto the floor. The young man in uniform tried to catch it all, but they either tumbled off his arms or landed on his foot. Even with a steel-toed boot, he felt it break the join in his toes. "W-wait! Y-young lady, i-is this absolutely necessary! I-I just want to go home and play with my cat!" "Yes. In order to truly atone for what you did to my body...Sniff, you must obey me." "You''re crying is fake! Those tears were added with eye drops! Y-you can''t fool this Constable!" "Also. I need a man''s opinion on an important matter. I can''t figure out which Armor Set is most suitable for me." "................................What?" By the time the Constable was able to stack up all of the parcels and wrapped materials into his two arms, a vice that only an Alaskan King Crab could rival grabbed him by the wrist and hauled him after a pair of long legs. To summarize, Pastrache was dragging her new shopping servant into this classy looking Armor Store, tailored for Women. Also known as ''theShark Jaws'' by men, conscious of their wallets. ¡°And remember, Mr. Constable. Tee-hee. You can''t cause any trouble for this innocent civilian, or break anything in this shop. You still have one and a half hour before your shift ends, technically - you''re still on duty... Oh-ho-ho! I''m a lucky gi~rl, I''m a lucky Half-Elf! I got me a new Caddy~NPC, it''s me pride and joy! HEY!~?" ¡°Mary Mother of¡­.Sister Amethyst, please pray for me.¡± Hang in there friend. One hour and 28 minutes left.
<< CONGRATULATIONS: You recruited CONSTABLE ??? as your Follower!!! >>
Shopping at the Armor Store, your Fashion Model is a Royal Constable -- (24th_Decisions) :: Dear Diary... I¡¯m Nello Again. Um¡­ Could you stop hitting me, I-I really want to say something to you. Big Sis isn¡¯t here and it¡¯s boring being by myself. I¡­I want to know more about Big Sis. I-I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m going to peek inside of you and see her secrets, but more like it¡¯s what¡¯s on my mind. Big Sis is very special to me, she cared for me, and even became my friend when blacked out from German Tanks punching my face in and waking up in this strange new world. Without her, I think I would have become a rusted body in the middle of some forgotten city under the sea¡­Uuuh. It¡¯s a scary thought¡­uuh¡­Up to now, I don¡¯t know Big Sis that well¡­I hope that if I can learn more about her from you¡­ I would be able to figure out how to truly make her smile andnothide the pain she doesn¡¯t want to show to me.::
¡°Well, what do you think, dear NPC follower?¡± ¡°¡­As a Constable, I-I¡¯m not at liberty to voice my opinion in the matter of fashion. Particularly in the, uh... ahem, female category.¡± ¡°I¡¯m asking you how is the material? I¡¯m allergic to certain synthetic fibgres, so I can¡¯t test them all without having to go through every detail of where the sillk was made, how it was treated, or what animal or plant it came from¡­¡± ¡°¡­So¡­how would you ike me to answer?¡± ¡°Is it comfy?¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s rather comfortable. The fabric is nice on the skin, doesn¡¯t scratch in awkward places. Rather fetching in the back... But it¡¯s quite snug in the bosom.¡± ¡°I thought so. And this was to support a 36 inch woman¡­Tch¡­My 38 won¡¯t do.¡± ¡°¡­I beg your pardon?¡± ¡°You heard nothing. No-thing.¡± Pastrache was a bit excited today. It¡¯s been a while sine she had stepped into a clothing or armor boutique. The last time she came to a similar store was when she was 5 Elven Years old (9 in human). That was when her mother was dragging her only child around to look for her father who had suddenly left their family without a word. That long ago. Her mother thought because he used to be an adventurer, surely some people of this profession or related areas would recognize him. She even had his picture, when they were having their wedding. Mother had this lovely glow and a noticeable bumb under her wedding dress on that picture, and her father was smiling like a charming man in his full Bardic Uniform. In the end, whenever they came in to ask the manager, they would always kick her mother and the child out. They weren¡¯t there to buy anything so¡­ it made perfect sense.
<< You experienced a BAD MEMORY. Dealt you -99 Psychological Damage. Please seek counselling. >>
<< Due to your Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, your INT and WIS are temporarily decreased by -1. >>
¡°¡­Sh*t, wh-why am I experience a Post Traumatic Disorder now?¡± ¡°D-did you say something, miss?¡± ¡°T-try this dress on. I-I need a full measurement.¡± ¡°¡­..I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°Why not, Mr. Constable?¡± ¡°I-it¡¯s¡­it¡¯s not because of the fact the top is a small bedazzled bikini. I already wore something like that when the lads put me to a daring contest¡­It¡¯s just that¡­ the bottom half¡­it¡¯s too small¡­Whatever peeks out can¡¯t be broadcasted on national¡ª¡°
<< You were hit with EXPLICIT IMAGINATION. It was super effective. >>
<< You received -9999 Psychological Damage. You are Traumatized. >>
¡°BFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!? W-WRONG DRESS! WRONG DRESS! THERE IS NO WAY IN H*LL I¡¯M WEARING BIKINI ARMOR! I DON¡¯T CARE IF IT HAS MAXIMUM DEFENSE POINTS THAT COULDDEFLECTANY PHYSICAL ATTACKS FROM MY EXPOSED BELLY BUTTON! CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE FOR ME!¡± The poor Constable sighed as he turned away from a certain Half-Elf who was turning red from the tip of her pointed ears to her toes. Despite the fact he was standing in the middle of the women¡¯s section in the armor and garment shop, he was bold enough to carefully sort through the different articles of clothing he was given. He even hold them out to compare them to his body size.. ¡°Now I think you should try this one made with blue samite and white frills, my Sister Emerald says this style is quite fitting for the season¡­Or, perhaps if it were my choice I might go with this green one-piece with fresh ivys wrapped around it. Mostly because my Sister Diamond wouldsays it brings out the green in my eyes and¡ª¡° ¡°I don¡¯t care. J-just pick one and wear it. There¡¯s no point in getting me to try it on if I end up swelling like I picked afight witha 10-1 gang of Saber Wasp.¡± ¡°¡­That sounds violent. Should I arrest these hooligans? Flashy name for a street gang though.¡± ¡°J-just go! Shoo! Shoo! Into the stall you go! Shoo!¡± Pastrache ushered her hands at the Constable already wearing a pink sheckered dress with a chain mail crop top. She moved her hands carefuly so she woulnd¡¯t accidently touch any other clothing that she coud be allergic to. Not at all bothered in wearing the¡­ uniform of the opposite gender on top of his official uniform, the Constable would be seen walking into one of those closets covered by a thin curtain.In a blink, the checkered dress with a chain mail crop top could be seen hanging over the curtains like a clothing line. ¡°Oh, by the way, young lady, you haven¡¯t told me your name.¡± ¡°Odd. I thought you would prefer to call me Young Lady.¡± ¡°Surely you would find that strange yourself, no? I mean, doesn''t your father normally call you that to get your undivided attention?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­Lass? Are you there?¡± ¡°Y-yes¡­I¡­I¡¯m here. Just... Nothing¡± ¡°Did I¡­step on something I shouldn¡¯t have.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.N¡­I¡­.I don¡¯t want to talk about my privacy. Iwant to avoid beinglike a moody protagonist in a novel who goes into a ramble about his tragic backstory, how his family is in shambles, or slipping in messages for people to buy his merchandises or cr*p like that. I''m normal, but I prefer to keep my personal things personal." "................................... What?" "How does that dress feel? Good? Bad?" "Oh, a bit rough on the skin, however the label does say it''s 100% organic. Not sure if you want this though, the bottoms are so small it looks like I''m wearing something that would show 99% of my backside... " "... Yeah no. I''m picking out clothing to ''ward off men'' notthe opposite. Every girl save that Dwarf Clerk are already wearing next to nothing, whether it be a micro bikini, chain or floss, or even bandages. H*ll, even the Priest Girl is wearing this showy one piece swimsuit that looks like something she grabbed from a wet t-shirt contest!!" "............................. Sweet Mother of, there is no way can tell the lads back at the Station House about this. What was supposed to be charge of public indency would turn into this make shift speed dating... I wish we had female Constables to make this justice system easier."You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. "... Stop muttering and keep trying on more clothing. Here, this one isn''t making my skin react so just, try it on stop p*ssing me orr, Mr. Constable!" Pastrache grinded her teeth upon thinking of the female population in her Adventuring Girl wearing 99% skin. In her frustration, she didn''t bother to slip this golden ball gown through the curtain like a clothing assistant. no, she tossed it over the top of the curtains to let it rain like hail. "OW! H-honestly, after all the years of helping Sister Lapis and Sister Garnet in being the model for their sewing, they''eve never once treated me like a slave!... Save for this one time with Sister Alexandrite forced me to test out her new holy armor design for three days and see if it was light enough to reduce weight stress in--" "Wait. Stop the wagon... Diamond? Garnet? Lapis? Emerald? Ruby? Pearl? Alexandrite---H-how many little sisters do you have!?" ¡°Uuuh. About 59.¡± ¡°HOW THE H*LL DID YOUR MOTHER ACQUIRE SUCH A GRAND ACHIEVEMENT!?!?!?¡± ¡°Oh, they¡¯re not born from the same mother. In fact, they don¡¯t even share the same father. They¡¯re sisters at a coven who took care of me when I was young. I just happen to be about one year older than them.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Wh-what?¡± ¡°Sorry to break the mood but¡­I¡¯m kind of a basket child¡­ just like my 59 little sisters serving the church.¡±
<< You received -100,000 Psychological and Emotional Damage. >>
<< Your Alignment is now Chaotic Villain++. Please seek counselling you Juvenile Delinquent! >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The Half-Elf was supposed to be happy. Originally. She hoped that one day she could proudly enter a clothing store without being kicked out, or being called names that no mother looking for her runaway husband should ever hear. Neither to a child who wanted to help said mother look for her runaway father. Basket child. That meant this Constable, and those 59 girls, were tucked inside an actual fruit basket¡­ and left on the front steps of a church. Whoever left them there were NOT cruel¡­ for they hoped the church could offer their child food, shelter, and warmth¡­ when the parents themselvescould not do so with theircracked, bleeding, andmalnourished hands. Minimum wage, did not apply to everyone, even in a fantasy world. ¡°¡­Are you still there miss¡­I-I¡¯m not comfortable in footing the bill for your selection of¡­ feminie attire if I should say.¡± ¡°N-no. I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m here¡­I¡¯m sorry to ¡­make you say that...¡± ¡°Say what? Basket child?¡± ¡°S-stop.¡± ¡°¡­.....My apologies then miss. Or rather... I accept your apologies, Miss.¡± The Constable exited out of the change booth. To Pastrache¡¯s suprirse, he was wearing nothing but his regular police uniform and pith helmet with the leaf badge. ¡°Wh-why aren¡¯t you trying the rest out?¡± ¡°Well I would take a guess that it wasn¡¯t necessary. The blue samite waist line isn¡¯t very tight, so it¡¯s going to make you look saggy in places you don¡¯t want people to see. Also, I don¡¯t think this green one with the vines will work for you, this has Foxglove woven into the fabric as an alternate function similar to baby powder. ¡°¡­H-how did you know I was allergic to products like that?¡± ¡°I take it you¡¯re pretty sensitive to it. See, the closer I move part of the vine fabric towards you arm, the more you try to rub the itch out. I¡¯m guess you are hypersentive to plants like Foxglove or silk worm fabric which is common in most modern day clothing." "... O...oh." "Which reminds me of this recent case where the Detectivefrom my station house - who''svery good with this new technology like fingerprints and forensice savvyby the way - was investigating the murder of a politician. To my shock, he discovered the murder weapon was peanut oil. Turns out the victim was hypersensitive to peanuts. Peanuts of all things!!Then he---" ¡°So, I''m guessing everything is laced with that itchy cr*p? Foxglove was it?¡± ¡°A-ahem. I¡¯m afraid so, miss.¡± ¡°Meaning essentially, other than these clothes I have on my back that I have to wash every day in a river by hand¡­ I¡¯ll be naked from other clothing for the rest of my life?¡± ¡°Now, walking around as pure as the day you were born is strictly prohibited mind you. And no skinny dippy in the public fountain. I just dragged a man out yesterdayand it was not a pretty sight for the eyes or mind.¡± ¡°Uuuuuh.¡± Pastrache shuddered at the thought, of a large man with nothing below or above his belt and rising out from a shallow tub like the public fountain in the square as if it were his personal bathtub...F**k.... ¡°¡­EW! I WASHED MY FACE IN THAT WATER WHEN IT¡¯S HOT OUT JUST THIS MORNING!¡± ¡°Honestly!! Even three year old children know not to play with that fountain water. You don¡¯t know where¡¯s it been, man!!¡± ¡°GOOOOOOOOOD! OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!¡± Pastrache so wanted to rub any soft clothing into her face, like a towerl to wash away the sins that tainted the water she used only hours ago. However, the last thing she wanted was to swell like a tomato and explode. So to save face, she ran out the door like a sullied maiden. ¡°OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOOOD! HOLY WATER! I NEED HOLY WATER! M-MY EYES! MY LIPS! MY THROAT, I-IT BUUUUURNS! GOD-D*MN IT, WHY DID I THINK IT WAS SMART TO RINSE MY MOUTH WITH THAT CR*P!?..........B-BUT WHY THE H*LL DID MY NOTIFICATION SCREEN TOLD ME I GOT A HEALTH BONUS ADDED TO MY STATS! I-I DON''T WANT IT! I DON''T WANT IIIIIIT!¡± Pastrache couldn¡¯t bear to show her ''sullied'' face to the world. She had rubbed the same water that was dipped in another shady man¡¯s body, all over that face she was hiding. Realizing this horrific reality, there was no turning back. Even if the court judged her as innocent on the account of there being no warning signs of city-wide alert, she still felt she could never be forgiven in being covered by such a dirty sin. There was nothing left for her now¡­ the world she knew was dark and terrible. There was only one thing left to do. Take out her entire Life Saving, andlook for a Plastic Surgeon to give her a new clean face. "Uuugh...Huuuk... I-I''m sorry, Future Wedding, Future Children, Future Primary School Funds... I-I have to give you all up to save myself... Sob." A small hand of the law tapped her on the trembling shoulders. ¡°Ahem. If it helps, miss, I could introduce you to my 59 Sisters who manage the local coven. If I accompany you, they¡¯ll surely offer ou a full Purification Ritual to clear away any negative status you have, and offer you a free holy bath with scented oils.¡±
<< You received HELPING HAND. You gain +1,000,000 Psychological, Emotional, Faithful Points. >>
<< Your Relationship with CONSTABLE ??? has shot up to 110%.He''s your One Day Hero.>>
¡°¡­¡­.Oh my god, you¡¯re a saint.¡± ¡°Well, I used to train as a priest at the church, but I was more interested in upholding the law¡­Also, the ladies like the uniform.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Soldier of Justice..What isthy humble name?¡± The Constable had already put away the clothing, so he wasn¡¯t going to be charged with stealing by accident. He smiled andgavehis pith helmeta nice flip in the air before catching it and resting it across his head. The silver leaf ornament emblazoned with what looked like a noble beaver standing on a queen''s crown and shield. ¡°George. Constable George Crawapple. Basket Child of the Murdochian Church of Artful Intelligence.¡± ¡°Stop it.¡± ¡°Hmm? Oh right that word bask¡ªing in the glow of the day, aye?¡± At the end of the day, Pastrache received a full Baptismal Purification, full service (with scented oils).
<< You received FULL RESTORATION - DIVINE RITUAL BLESSING LV 100 >>
<< All Negative Conditions, Official, and Unofficial Sins in your current and future life are sterilized. >>
Today is the Day to Understand Each other. Time for your Physical Mr. Tank -- (25th_Bodycheck) :: Dear Diary¡­. It seems it had dawn to me that I have overlooked something very important. I don¡¯t understand Nello. Not as in a person¡­ tank¡­ gol¡ªJust hear me out. I don¡¯t understand how Nello fights. Sure, I¡¯ve seen him in action when he rescued me from being violated by Dire Wolves, Orcs, Manticores, and the occasional perverted Adventurers, but I really don¡¯t know his strengths, his weaknesses, or how he prefers to fight if he''s by himself. I should really take the time to sit down, talk to him, and get to know how he operates in battle. Maybe, I could learn to adapt and make better strategies, we are in the same party after all. ::
¡°Okay Nello, show me your body! Hurry!¡± ¡°H-heh!? B-Big Sis! Wh-why are you asking s-something so private all of a sudden! A-and with super serious eyes!¡± Nello was in a good mood today. What with the sun being so clear and the fact that there were so many sheeps in the sky!...Ah sorry, they¡¯re just cloud¡­Stop the bus ¨C th-those were actual Sheeps with Falcon wings taking to the sky! OH! IN CLASSIC V-WING FORMATION! Q-QUICK! S-SOMEONE PLAY THE THEMES SONG FOR THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE! (*bunny narrator salutes!*) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHOq6Sl9u38) "Nello! Where do you think you''re staring at!? An-and why does my maidenly pride feel hurt that you''re only caring about those pigs that''s flying in the sky!?" Alas, all of that was ruined when Pastrache suddenly reach her handto grabthe tip of the 76 mm cannon and pulled it down. It was like grabbing a girl¡¯s pigtails to make her look at the attacker¡¯s level¡­Boys, don¡¯t do that, ever. It¡¯s not sexy ¨C it p*sses us maidens off. ¡°Nuwooooh! B-Big Sis! Wh-what!? What!?¡± ¡°I¡¯m serious Nello! I need to know how your body functions, especially when we are in battle! How else am I to support you if I don¡¯t know how you fight? The last thing I want is to hide behind your body and you move without warning. My body is super soft compared to you, I don''t want to be squished and become a stain on your tracks." ¡°Uwaaaah. Th-that would definitely be a terrible sight¡­I-I don¡¯t want to squish Big Sis.¡± ¡°Good boy, now show me your body!¡± ¡°W-wait! P-please do-don¡¯t lift up my panel b-between my tracks and peek inside! M-my body isn¡¯t ready yeeeeet!¡± Pastrache ignored the objections of her friend, because she truly believed what she was doing was the right choice for their future. Even if it meant pull up the iron skirt of the young boy living inside of the tank (read: the cover panels for his own board circuitry) her actions were totally justifiable (#TanksHaveFeelingsToo). She would dig her hand inside the tight spaces, looking around and touching different steam pipes, pressure gauges, to even pieces that look like expensive electrical wires. Everything was connected to generators, modulators, and voltage transformers, which all connected to Nello¡¯s V12 Diesel Engine. ¡°Haaan¡­Pant pant¡­B¡­Big Sis¡­.I¡­uummn¡­C¡­can¡¯t¡­I¡­.I¡­Aaah...¡± ¡°¡­Nello, your insides are super messy.¡± ¡°I-It¡¯s not my fault the factory rushed to produce me along with my 2000 tank brothers to enter th-the battlefield. S-Stalingrad was under attack by German Tigers and Panzers! Th-they had to keep making more of us to defend the homefront! Aaah! N-not there, B-Big Sis! Th-that''s my carburetor!" ¡°Still, whoever made you should have been more considerate. I cold see 10 flaws in your system and I haven¡¯t included the rust that are building between your legs!¡± ¡°Nooooo! N-not my axles! P-please don¡¯t look down theeeeeeere!" Nello¡¯s turret head turned to the side with his 3 meter nose lowered. It was to mimic a young man covering his face in shame while Pastrache inspected inside of his front panels. She would soon check the storage compartment on his sides, the exterior entrance to check on his engine in the back, to even crawling under his tracks to get a better look under him. ¡­Brave girl on so many levels.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~ Tank Toucher ~ You molested your Tank Friend. Shame on you. Please seek counselling.
<< CONGRATULATIONS: You gained +500 EXP for Technical Exam. You acquired Technician Lv 2!! >>
¡°Gunyaaaahggg! B-Big Sis¡­d-d-don¡¯t¡­don¡¯t¡­.t..ouch¡­no¡­aaahnn¡­¡± ¡°¡­What are all these metal pipes for, Nello? There¡¯s so many of them. Do they go anywhere?¡± ¡°Nnngg¡­Aahhngggnnn.¡± ¡°Nello? Are you listening to me?¡± ¡°Uuggguuugg¡­¡± The Half-Elf Girl sighed. Probably can¡¯t hear her voice becauseshe was lying right under the 26.5 ton''s crawl space. Her voice bounced off of so many metal parts, it became distorted into a wierd echo. She ignored it and continued her examinations, her fingers running through exposed cable to see where they went. Every now and then, she would forget she was crawling under a tank so her knees would often kick up and nudge into a part under the tank''s body.'' "Hwaaaauggg! Uuuggghhuiiiin! P-please! B-Big Sis! N-no more! Th-this is too much f-f-for me! M-my engine i-is going to expl--Nyaaggguuugg! M-my s-suspenion coiiiiiiils!"If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. If Pastrache were a mechanic, she could see that the schematics of her tank friend was simple to the point of being fallible. There were lots of redundant parts install, as if to fix a problem the mechanics couldn¡¯t solve with few months of development. In otherwords, 100% mass production at the cheapest material cost and faster rollout speed. One reason how former Soviet Russia was able to produce about 80,000 different T-34 Variants across the Second World War to battle against the German Werhmacht and their Panzer Corp. Three simple rules of business: Low cost. Fast production. Easy to make. ¡°Nnnnnnnnnnnnggggnnnnggggggggggggg!¡± ¡°¡­Nello? Are you okay? You¡¯ve been making those sounds for the last hour¡­Don¡¯t tell me¡­ you need to go, now?¡± ¡°N¡­No¡­.Gnnnnnnnggggg!!! B-Big Sis is touching my th-third b-battery swiiiiiiitch!¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t understand Nello, not right now. Once she had finished her unprofessional inspection of the vehicle, she crawled her lovely and well curved body right out. ¡°Geeggg! M-my hips are stuck!¡± ¡°P-Pant Pant... Cough... W-want me to roll backwards and¡ª¡° ¡°NO NELLO! DON¡¯T MOVE! IF YOU DO, M-MY HIPS WON¡¯T ONLY BE CRUSHED, B-BUT MY BREASTS WILL POP!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± As if too scared to move, Nello didn¡¯t dare even breathe a single word. He waited for the Half-Elf to grunt, whine, maybe moan, before she squeezed her hips out from under Nello¡¯s tracks. The grace of a mechanic at work (#AlwaysThanksYourMechanicWithChocolate_FerreroRocherOkay). ¡°... Cough¡­Now, we check your internal organs.¡± ¡°Heeeeh! W-we¡¯re not done yet!?¡± ¡°Nellooooooooooooooooooooooooo.¡±
<< You used LEER on Nello. It was super effective! His Emotional Defenses sharply fell. >>
<< Nello''s current status is: SCARED BEYOND ALL REASON. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­P¡­Please be gentle¡ªBUGYAGFFFF!¡± Pastrache tried to be nice to her dear friend. She felt bad for stepping on his body to climb up to his head. But he was a 2.5 meter tall tank, she had to step on the ladders and his body just to reach the hatch on top. She would see two iron hatches, one for the regular crew to enter and exit, and one that looked like it was meant for a spotter, or an extra machine gunner should the former Soviet Army had installed another anti-infantry weapon on the top of the tank alongside the onboard one. Having entered Nello before she knew how to gain access. She would turn the circular metal handle with some extra elbow grease and pull it open. It was a pitfall of a drop, about one leg deep. This was measured with her legs, one that would make her suitable forgravureif she was interested. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m going inside.¡± ¡°Did you take your boots off?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­"
<< You removed LEATHER BOOTS from inventory. Your defense has decreased. >>
"Cough. Okay, now I¡¯m ready to go inside.¡± ¡°Big Siiiiiiiiis.¡± Forgetting that what she was essentially entering another friends house, Pastrache quickly took off her long leather boots and left them to sit outside of the tank. With only her bare feet and leg warmers, she dove inside. ¡°NYAAAAAAAH!! (OxO)¡± *FOOOMP* Somehow, she missed her footing, and ended up landing in the driver seat of the crew compartment, right onto her cute round @ss. ¡°¡­Big Sis?¡± ¡°You saw nothing. You heard nothing. You didn¡¯t wake up this morning!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..O¡­Okay¡­(How can I see inside myself?)¡± On the outside, the T-34 Soviet tank waited patiently as Pastrache explored inside of him. All the while, a bird fluttered down to sit on the end of his iron barrel. ¡°¡­¡­I never knew ravens looked so lazy. She fell asleep the second she flopped onto my nose.¡± Somewhere in another universe, fighting in the middle of the First World War in 1917, a certain Raven Witch sneezed really badly. (https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21723/a-raymonds-raven-the-exploration-of-magic-in-world/chapter/312451/entry-6-talk-of-magical-warfare-over-dinner-salmon) ¡°E-everything okay Big Sis?¡± ¡°Nello, you have too many controls insides of you. It¡¯s too confusing. Also, even your manual books are too much for me to comprehend. Look! It¡¯s thickness matches the girth of my forearm! Not to mention, it¡¯s all written in wear symbols and awkward faces!¡± ¡°¡­Russian¡­I think they wrote everything in Russian.¡± ¡°Then this manual is no good to me.¡± ¡°¡­Want me to translate for you?¡± ¡°Oh Nello is so sweet, but we have work to do. No time to dilly dally.¡± ¡°¡­ Um¡­Okay¡­¡± So the next hour and a half, the Half-Elf continued to explore every nook and cranny of the T-34 Soviet Tank. Meanwhile, the said tank friend with a lazy raven sleeping across his tank like a drunk salaryman at one¡¯s doorstep, was making very strange engine noises. ¡°Nnnnnggg! B-Big Sis¡­n-no, n-not again!¡­Y-you can''ttouch there¡­¡­M-my dials and g-guages a-are super sensitive---Aaaaaaaah!¡± ¡°N-Nello? Wh-why do you suddenly sound like a girl in a messed up R-Rated novel?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t knooouwuuwuugggggggguuaaaaaaaannn!¡± And the Half-Elf''s unprofessional technical examination continued for the next three and a half hours. "Please don''t touch me in wierd places anymore, Big Sis! M-my levers, gears, and radio equipment are not a toy! Th-they''re super fragile!" "Not until I figure out the mechanism of your fire nose! And you have to teach me how you shoot stuff from your eyes (anti-infantry gun). Do you understand, Nello!? This is important for the sake of our future teamwork!" "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh (TxT)." ...Hang in there tovarisch (friend). How Many Sneezes Does it Take for a Tank to Give up? Lets Bust a Myth Today! -- (26th_Testing) :: Dear Diary¡­. I spent the whole day examining Nello¡¯s exterior and interior. Like he told me when we firs met, he surely wasn¡¯t a golem. Golems are artifacts made with magic, connected with wired spells and move based on simple command protocols integrated into magical circuits. Nello has none of those basic requirements yet he could think and act independently, even without a wizard. This is incredible. However, his veins, his muscles, and his organs are too confusing. Most of them are completely foreign to me. Like this big box withnozzles and iron cables he calls the engine; the metal sticks and flaps he calls levers and switches; also, none of the symbols painted inside of his interior are written in Common, they¡¯re all in his language, Russian, so I can¡¯t even eye ball and improvise. Sigh. Maybe I should take a break first, and have a Cheshire Salmon Burger or something... Then we¡¯ll move on to checking Nello¡¯s nose and eye. ::
<< Your party has entered PSEUDO_COMBAT!! >>
<< All Passive Combat Buffs have been automatically applied!! Good hunting!! >>
¡°Okay Nello. Go for it.¡± ¡°A-ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOM!* A T-34 Soviet Tank built for the Second World War could be found sitting upon a hill. Despite how everything behind it was covered in emerald grass, the hills slope and the and within its forward view was completely covered in fresh sand and deserts with bedrock mountains that reached up to the horizon. Like the two pages of the same book painted in completely different colors. The armored vehiclefired its 76 mm cannon without hesitation, the artillery round flashing in the distance. Followed by a fiery pop and a small clap of thunder.
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON on INNOCENT BEDROCK >>
<< Nello dealt -9999 Piercing and Fire Damage. >>
¡°¡­Oh! You¡¯re reach is farther than I calculated! Good job Nello!!¡± ¡°Thank you, Big Sis¡­ but¡­ are you sure we should be test firing here, I mean¡­ what if the people who live in the sand get very angry, then come up to us and say ¡®We declare war on you¡¯¡­Uwaaah. I-I just left behind the fight in Stalingrad, I-I don¡¯t want to go back and fall into another trench again!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry Nello, this part of the region is safe. I know, because the Dwarf Clerk lady with glasses back at the Guild showed me this part of the map. It¡¯s nothing but monsters that we have to fight anyway, not to mention the infestation of giant sand worms and Sarmaac Pits.¡± ¡°¡­Sarmaac pits?¡± ¡°Mmm¡­They¡¯re like this giant slug with a bird like beak that lives under the sand. It¡¯s easy to spot them, they¡¯re the center of a sink hole that has lots of nasty razor sharp teeth that look like a Lantern Lamprey in the lake.¡± ¡°¡­¡­. I don¡¯t know how either of them look, but they sound scary.¡± ¡°¡­How should I put it...Ah yes. They¡¯re as frightening as the German Tiger tanks you keep mentioning." ¡°NOW THAT IS SUPER SCARY! I DON¡¯T WANT TO GO NEAR IT!¡± The T-34 Tank could be seen revving up his engines and went in full reverse to initiate full retreat protocol. If this narration was a video camera, we would then be seeing an empty hill in real time. 10 seconds later,after a bit of lovely persuasion, a crying Tank could be seen returning back to his sniper¡¯s perch. "Please take this training exercise seriously, Nello! If we don''t test out your limits right now, then we could be stuck in a bad situation during real combat!" ¡°Noooo! Sniff! I-I don¡¯t want to fight German Tiger tanks any moooooore! Sniff! Th-they punched my head open with their cannons! Uuuuuuuh! They''re really mean to me! Sniff!¡± ¡°N-no! I-I was using it as an example! Th-there is no such thing as German Tigers! Y-you¡¯re the first tank I¡¯ve seen in this world so-so you¡¯re okay!¡± ¡°¡­Sniff...P-Promise?¡± ¡°Yes. And you know Big Sister loves you.¡± ¡°I-I love you Big Sis¡­Sniff.¡± Pastrache sitting inside across the driver seat patted the walls of the tank, as soft as she would to either a newborn kitten or a baby owl¡­whichever you find fluffier. She would even stroke it with her finger and go: ¡°Don¡¯t cry. Don¡¯t cry. Goo-chi~?. Goo-chi~?. Goo-chi~?.¡± ¡°Ha-ha-ha! B-Big Sis! Th-that tickles my switches!¡± On the outside, the T-34 Tank could be seen swivelling his turret head left and right, his noses flapping up and down. As if mimicking a child avoiding the dreaded tickle attack! ¡°Alright back to work.¡±Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. ¡°Oooooooh (TxT).¡± After a moment of depression, the tank on the hill straightened its barrel. He continued to look at the desert horizon in its front, ignoring the green rolling meadows behind him ¡°¡­Now what?¡± ¡°Well I can see how far you¡¯ve shot.. by my estimation¡­11.2 kilometers give or take.¡± ¡°HOH! B-Big Sis is amazing! Y-you didn¡¯t even have to use any instruments or go through advance tank training to calculate the distance to target.¡± ¡°Oh-ho-ho! What can I say, Nello. It runs in my Elven Blood. Praise me~¡î!¡± ¡°Big Sis is sooooo cool!!¡± "Nyaa-haa-haa! I love this sweet sensation caressing in my heart! Pastrache has this lovely smug look on her face as she flipped her hair like a rich girl would to her highschool posse. However, she just remembed she was sitting inside of Nello¡¯s tummy. Her prepared action to score popularity points had been wasted... Meh, at least she lived the dream of being the most popular girl in school... even for three seconds. ¡°¡­.Cough. Okay, now Nello. I want you to fire your nose as fast as you can until you can¡¯t shoot anymore.¡± ¡°Oh! I got it, a rate of fire test! Okay okay!¡± Being a tank was one thing, being part of the Soviet Army during war-time was another. Understanding what he needed to do, the vehicle prepared its barrel and held it straight in parallel to the ground. Inside, Pastrache could see the automatic levers and gears running at full speed. Clamps would bend down to grab a shell that was stored inside the tank, load a satchel that smelt of gunpowder and fuse into a socket, then shove the shell and satchel together into the chamber the fed the cannon. ¡°¡­Ready Big Sis!¡± ¡°Okay!¡± Pastrache then nodded to herself, and adjusted the ear covers she already had on her pointed Elven ears. For the record, they wore simple ear muffs you could get from the local Dollar Store on a Winter Special. The one she bought was the fuzzy bright pink ones. Like the fur of an energetic bunny that keeps going. The Half-Elf Girl gave the signal, and slapped her hand into the tank wall. ¡°Aaaaaaaand---OPEN FIRE!¡± ¡°ATAKA!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOM!*
<< Accessing NELLO''s ACTION CAM for ''Travelling Reader''........................ COMPLETE!! >>
The barrel erupted at the tip and out shot another shell flying at Mach 2. Before it even hit a nearby bedrock mountain, Pastrache turned to see the automatic gears moving again. ¡°REEEEEEE-LOADING!¡± The mechanical clamps and arms twisted around again. With swift speed they grabbed the next round and shoved it into the end of the barrel and plugged it with a gunpowder fuse and ballistic seal. *BTOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°REEEEEEEE-LOADIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!¡± Pastrache didn¡¯t bother to look as to where that shot went, she only watched the mechanical arms working at full throttle. *Vrrrrrr-Grrrrr-Klank-Vrrrrr-Ricka-Ricka¡ªGuuuuuuu-CLONK. Click.* *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°REEEEEEEEEE-LOADING!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°RE--REEEEEE-LOADING!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°R-Ree¡ªcough cough. L-Loading!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°Hack¡­Cough¡­L¡­Load¡­F¡­fre!¡± *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* ¡°¡­¡­¡­.O-ow.¡± *BTOOOOOOOM!* ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..B-Big Sis, my nose is bleeding.¡± ¡°O-okay that¡¯s enough Nello. Good work.¡± The entire time Pastrache was inside of the tank, she felt the entire craft quake from every blast of the cannon. She was both astonished and horrified, thinking about the original crew that used to commandeer her friend during their war time back in his original world. To have four grown men be stuffed insides this cramped space, constantly firing cannon that could essentially make them deaf earlier than old age. Worse, she tried simulating some images of Nello-Copies attacking Nello in a firefight. The thought of being slammed by one of these high impact shells that fly at Mach 2 made her intestines twist. Not to mention, she realized just how big a hole the T-34 tank could make into the bedrock mountain. 11.2 kilometers away,10 holes, roughly 15 meters in diameter each. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­.Cough¡­I-I¡¯m sorry Bi-Big Sis¡­Sniff. I-I can¡¯t sh-shoot any more¡­m-my nose¡­sniff¡­is too hot.¡± ¡°I-it''salright Nello, I made the count. You can shoot 10 times per minute. Th-that¡¯s amazing!!¡± ¡°¡­Oh¡­Thank you¡­.b¡­but I already know I could shoot that much¡­But German Panzer and Tiger tanks are too fast for me to reload¡­I always get beaten up before I knock them out... It''s no fair. Cough!¡± A big wad of smoke flooded from the T-34 Soviet Tank¡¯s barrel. It was piping red hot too, so it was best no one touched it until it cooled down. The temperature at that point in time, could not only cook an egg the second the yolk and egg white touches the steel ¨C it will turn it black and crispy. That¡¯s how hot Nello¡¯s nose was¡­ temperature wise (#NotInnuendo!!) ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Do you want a break, Nello?¡± ¡°Y-yes please¡ªBACKACHUUU!¡± Boodz zda-rov (Bless you). Give a Half-Elf a Pistol = Okay...Give a Half-Elf an DT Machine Gun = Hot! -- (27th_Pointblank) :: Dear Diary¡­ Nello is surely amazing. His nose, his armored body, he is capable of taking on large class enemies without dealing too much damage to himself. And in the past battle, he also doubled as moving cover for me whenever I had to snipe the enemy across open ground. I deduced, that he would be suitable in open terrain heavy combat. With his nose, he could essentially vaporize even a Lv 20 Manticore with a single shot.A feat a Lv 30 Archmage could never hope to accomplish. Also, no soldier could ever get to me if I were to hide inside of Nello¡¯s belly. I¡¯mproud of him, and he should be proud of himself. He always kept saying he was weak compared to the other tanks back in Stalingrad, but you know what Diary. He¡¯s the only tank here in this world and my favourite tank. He¡¯s the best there is! ::
<< Youhave equipped yourself with Nello''s????? >>
<< You are not proficient with this weapon. You have Disadvantage in your next Attack.>>
¡°¡­Nello. What do you call this weapon you wave around as your eye?¡± ¡°Oh. The one you¡¯re touching. The mechanics call it a Degtyaryov (DT) Machine Gun. It¡¯s usually deployed in the Eastern Front and used by soldiers, butthey thought it was a good idea to install it in my head. Isn¡¯t it neat?¡± ¡°Your nose is better.¡± ¡°¡­I¡¯m not sure if I should be happy or hurt, Big Sis. M-my eyes is my favourite part of my body! It''s the least loudest!¡± Pastrache let out a small sigh as she investigate the new onboard weapon inside of Nello¡¯s head. Like he mentioned, she was gripping onto the handle of a DT Machine gun, best used as anti-infantry defense. A tank carried a primary cannon as is main offensive weapon, but as she recognized the reload between each shot was lengthy despite being within a 2 minute time frame. If she thought about it, if Nello did take out a giant ogre, a swarm of orcs and gobins could essentially dog pile him. So it would make sense he had this secondary weapon to prevent the enemy from overwhelming him. ¡°¡­Um¡­how does it work?¡± ¡°Oh you have to be careful with it, Big Sis. Normally I use it on automatic, but because you¡¯re inside Iturned on the safety already. So even if you did bump the controls it won¡¯t shoot until you unlock it.¡± ¡°So... How do I remove this safety feature and how do I shoot it.¡± ¡°Are you sure you want to learn? I mean, I could protect you with it by myself.¡± Pastrache smiled, not to tease him or to make fun of him, but out of appreciation. ¡°Nello. I¡¯m a big girl, and a full-fledged Adventurer. It¡¯s my duty to use my own strength and abilities to help and protect people I work along side with and those who ask for our assistance. I would look bad if I keep using Nello as my shield.¡± ¡°¡­ I don¡¯t mind.¡± Pastrachebuckledin her seat, as if she experienced a fainting spell. The way the voice of a young boy inside the tank and his innocence literally made her swoon. Like a fluffy puppy raising its paw... You know that ''HNNNNNNG'' moment. ¡°Pant Pant Pant¡­N-Nello is such a good boy~?.¡± ¡°Thank you!...Um¡­Big Sis, why are you breathing so hard.¡± ¡°Cough. You saw nothing. You heard nothing. You didn¡¯t even wake up this morning.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Okay¡­¡± Not sure what was the philosophy behind that quote, the T-34 obediently shut up. He waited until Pastrache recollected herself before she spoke in a half-steady half-shaky voice. ¡°We¡ªAhem, ahem. We should work together. I shouldn¡¯t be manipulating you to my advantage. We¡¯re a team! A cohesive unit! I would be ashamed if we didn¡¯t work together like a true Adventuring Party!¡± ¡°¡­Whose birthday is it?¡± ¡°¡­Nello.¡± ¡°Oh Sorry. I¡¯ll be quiet. Nn.¡± ¡°¡­Also¡­ I feel very bad. Because of how useless I am in most scenarios, I always end up leaving the messy stuff to you and that¡¯s not fair to you, Nello.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s why, I want to spend this day learning everything about you. The way you fight, your limitations. With my knowledge of this world and its enemies, I could come up with a strategy so you won¡¯t be overburdened or become exhausted after a serious fight. Also, you could only go so fast, there are other creatures that have a landspeed greater than yours, Nello.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­ Big Sis is done talking now. Good boy.¡± ¡°Puwaaaah! I-I¡¯m sorry, I-I was holding my breath to keep myself from interrupting Big Sis!¡± The T-34 Tank gave this awkward gasp as his cannon flopped to the ground in exhaustion. It had no lungs nor did it have the need for it, yet it still panted like a man who ran 26 miles. Yikes. ¡°¡­Okay Big Sis! I understand what you want! And I¡¯ll help you! Want to learn how to use the machine gun!?¡± ¡°Yes! Yes! Yes!¡± ¡°Alright! Let¡¯s do it!¡± The Half-Elf was literally hopping in the side gunner seat with a strangely high enthusiasm level. She was even more giddy than a child on Christmas Eve. All because the tank was going to give her a tutorial on how to use theanti-infantryheavy machine gun.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. The best way to describe it without sounding insulting, was how it looked like a metal broomstick with a dedicated trashcan lid on top. This was in laymen terms.
Looking more closely, it was athin bodied machine gun that was narrower than a regular M4 Carbine Assault Rifle or the popular modernized AK-47. It was no bigger than a long metal pipe with a hand-carved wooden stock to brace the recoil. On top of the body, above the trigger, was this circular metal discus. Believe it or not, that was where the ammunition was stored inside. We¡¯ll get to how the science works, later. ¡°What¡¯s the first step?¡± ¡°Do you see the switch on the left side of the gun, Big Sis? Flip it down, by one notch. If the dial is levelled over the red square, it means it¡¯s locked. If it¡¯s pointed down at a small single white line, it means it¡¯s on single shot.¡± ¡°And the one with multiple white lines.¡± ¡°Oh that¡¯s the fully automatic mode for rapid fire.¡± A certain Half-Elf¡¯s beautiful thumb flicked the arrow all the way to those stack of white lines without saying anything. ¡°Ahem. Okay. Now what?¡± ¡°On the right side, th-there should be this kind of level. Pull back on it until you hear a brass tinking.¡± Pastrache nodded and followed the instructions. She searched for this numb of a lever that the tank mentioned and soon found it. It was no bigger than the topdigit of her pinky. Curiously, she slide it slowly all the way back. She then heard that familiar, KER-CHINK sound, the same one she often heard from her Mosin-Nagant rifle that Nello gave her. ¡°I think it¡¯s loaded¡­But if I run out of bullets like the rifle, how do I reload?¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry about it Big Sis. This gun has a maximum of 60 rounds per charge, so it you won¡¯t have to reload as fast as the Mosin-Nagant. But since I¡¯m a new kind of tank reborn in your world, the pretty lady with scary eyes gave me this skill to automatically regenerate bullets into the clip, so I don¡¯t need someone to do it manually for me.¡± ¡°Th-that¡¯s amazing!? A-auto-reload and-and 60 bullets in a box!?¡± ¡°¡­Yes¡­D-did I say it wrong?¡± ¡°P-please continue, Nello!¡± Pastrache said that in a tone as if to suggest she wanted to get to the shooting part, not to apologize for interrupting. ¡°I-it¡¯s mostly used to scare off or hit soldiers who try and attack the crew. It¡¯s very messy when I use it on soft targets, but it¡¯s useless if the enemy is armored like a German Panzer tank.¡± ¡°Yes, yes. Go on.¡± ¡°So, it¡¯s super effective to make sure no one steps on me.¡± ¡°Yes, I understand. Now tell me where is the command console.¡± ¡°Command Console? I don¡¯t think I have that.¡± ¡°No, no. The trigger! Th-the trigger like I use on the rifle! Where is it?¡± "... Um... it should be similar to the Mosin-Nagant. You know, where you normally pull the trigg-- *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!*
<< Accessing PASTRACHE''s POV CAM for ''Travelling Reader'' ........... COMP--HOLY SH*T! >>
¡°Nyaaaghhg! B-Big Sis! I-I wasn¡¯t ready for that yeeeeeeeet!¡± The T-34 screamed like a little boy as he saw his ¡®eye¡¯ starting blasting a laser like stream of high-piercing bullets. They flew all over the air, ripping open thegreen earth, gutting open a tree, to even clapping big waves of water from the nearby duck pond. If Nello¡¯s scream didn¡¯t make them flinch, those flying bullets did. For those of you were support animal rights, do not worry, not a single duck was harmed in the making of this test fire. Or else, PETA will have a field day (*Bunny narrator shudder*) *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! RA-TA-TA-TA! RA-TA-----CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK¡­* What was originally a laser beam of bullets flying in every direction from the turret head of the tank, suddenly choked up and coughed nothing but thick smoke and empty clicking sounds. The tank could be found shaking at every ticking sound thespent gun was making, the silent barrel of the machine gun moving as ifwanting to shoot some more. ¡°¡­...................................................¡­¡­Big Sis? A-are you okay?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Aauh.¡± The Half-Elf sitting in the gunner seat of the T-34 Soviet Tank was shaking. Her hands were still gripping the handle of the DT Machine gun, her finger still squeezing the trigger despite the fact nothing was shooting out of the barrel anymore. It was as if she still believed this invisible enemy was still charging at her despite taking all 60 bullets into his gut. Despite the clicking and nothing else happening, It never once dawned on her she ran out of ammunition already. OR---she still hadher ears covered by thatpair of pink fluffy ear muffs one oculd get from the local Dollar Star on a Winter Sales. ¡°¡­..Big Sis? A-are you there? Say something.¡± ¡°Do it again.¡± ¡°¡­Ahh!?¡± Pastrache threw off her ear warmers from her pointed earlobes and looked up at her friend she was sitting inside of. A dangerous light sparkled in her beautiful blue eyes. ¡°Nello! Th-that was so cool! I want to do it again¡î! Quick! Reload! Reload!¡± ¡°W-wait! B-Big Sis! I-I may have an Automatic R-Reload function now, b-but it needs a recharge cycle! L-like refillingmy battery pack! I-I can¡¯t force the wait timer to-to go any faster!¡± ¡°You don¡¯t understand! I-I need to fire this weapon some more! Th-there is something oddly satisfying and ecstatic in using this ridiculously overpowered weapon¡î! Wh-why, just hearing it sing makes me want to charge straight up to a Demon king¡¯s castle and godirectly for the epic boss fight!¡± ¡°G-gegh!? N-now!?¡± ¡°¡­F**k it, let¡¯s do it! To Drakengard Castle, YEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!¡± ¡°Nyaggg!? Wh-when did Big Sis transform into an-an American Soldier! No! no! D-don¡¯t suddenly take control of my driving pistooooooons!¡± To make sure everyone properly cooled down, Nello was forced (or by accident) to drive into the pond with a huge splash. And just when the Maple Mallardsthought they got settled in ¨C they pull them back out! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XB1BENAUWo) [SIDE STORY] The Dwarf Little Sister and Draenei Big Brother. Which is Messed up? -- (COGEZ) [ Clerk Entry #676, Supplement.] After working in the guild for over 80 years, I still don¡¯t understand why the newer and newer Adventuring Generations could be so calous andobnoxiously rude. Just today, there was this pipsqueak Adventurerwho was a fresh dropout from middle school. He was saying all sorts of ridiculously crude things. For example: ¡®Hey honey, your body lights my body on fire¡¯; ¡®Hey babe, why don¡¯t we skip the tutorials and go straight to the X-Rated content?¡¯;¡®Yo, what¡¯s up, let¡¯s f**k like rabbits girl!¡¯¡­ Sorry, that last one belonged to some human who was recently transmigrated from another world, I think called Earth (#EarthlingsArePerverts). I shouldn¡¯t lump a bad apple to the rotting pile like that, it wouldn¡¯t be fair¡­ However, I can¡¯t stop thinking about that girl. Sure she¡¯s rude and uptight, but at least she knew how to respect a fellow woman. Just last night, one drunk War Witch tried to bury her face under my skirt. I lectured her with my mace tomake her reflect on her misdeeds.... Honestly, current generations these days.
¡°So as you can see, I¡¯m bored. Sing for me my brother.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a f**king blacksmith. Not an Opera house star. Give me a break already, it¡¯s happy hour!¡± It was the end of the day. All the stores were starting to pack up and pulling down the iron shutters to protect their store fronts. There was a strict curfew at the 8th hour of dusk, so no one was allowed to be wandering past the eight chime of the eight bell of the eight clock tower. Or else, a frustrated drunk woman would violate you¡­ no, that was not an urban legend to scare children, Many men were found curled up in the back of an alley, their ankles mangled and their knees twisted, with their hair turned white from shock. Pantless. ¡°Fuu. I don¡¯t like this time restriction. Just because everything stops at eight o''clock doesn¡¯t mean our lives should.¡± ¡°Which is exactly why you need to shut the h*ll up or else the Night Watch of the Royal Constabulary will arrest you. The last thing I want, is to have our secret midnight hangout to be torn down again. If that happens, I¡¯m disowning you for sure this time.¡± ¡°But we¡¯re sibligs. You have no parental right to do that.¡± ¡°Since we were children, I¡¯ve been the mature one in the family since our parents went overseas for business! This makes me the power of attorney and essentially, the only person who has the right to disown an irresponsible and messy child like you!¡± The Dwarf Clerk who worked at a certain guild frowned. Normally, whenever she was behind the desk, taking down names for new adenturers or handling information with experienced veterans, she would always be seen with this stoic and professional appearance. Even at the end of the day, or at the end of intercepting a bar fight in the guild, not a hair will ever go out of place on her head. Yet somehow, she could be found lying across a large wooden table, her glasses off, her hair bun half pulled and half tucked, and all sorts of sexy strands of hair covering her small round face. She no longer cared how she looked now. It was because she was drinking out her stress in the middle of this shady looking open-roof tavern that was located in a national park somewhere in the city. "I''m bored. Dance for me brother." "Nein. I''m not in the mood to play along with your messed updelusions." "I''ll persuade you with my mace." "Please, you''re drunk as a Matchlock Beaver. You can''t even lift your own head on your shoulder let along a simple beer mug. Even if you had a spray bottle of pepper mace, you still lack the hand-eye coordination fromsplashing your own face in white gas." ".........I''ll punch you." "Be my guest. My abs needs the workout. Tch. *Gulp Gulp*" As mentioned there was a strict curfew around 8 o clock. Any one who come half-dead and seek medical attention are turned away, tourist who are outside right before the eight chime are locked out and forced to sleep on a public bench, and all stores awere sure to have closed by 7:45 PM or else. But life wasn¡¯t fun if you lived by the rules (#PleaseDon¡¯tBreakTheLaw). There was a large park full of trees that were under protection for endangerment, due to historical logging and what not. Somewhere deep in that protected forest, a band of merry men and woman would gather every night from 8 in the night to 6 in the morning, drinking themselves under the table or playing games. Everyone need to let their hair down once and a while. This included the messy looking Dwarf Clerk who took off her fake glasses. "...Do something for me." "Fine. Hyup! Is this your card little lady?" "No. That''s your business card you pulled out from your leather apron... you still haven''t changed your Ethereal Net Addresson it?" "Bah! I don''t care. Do you know how expensive it is to produce these ridiculously fancy cards. I even got overzealous and chose the egg shell white with Roman Patterns on it. Do you not see these fancy letters, it''s written in something call Silian Grail! It was to the point where I splurged too much on the customization, and ended up with a prism hue and subtle coloring... I nearly bankrupt myself just to make 20 of these! I''m not changing anything! Even if the @ssholes at the printing shop spelled my name completely wrong!" Sitting next to the Dwarf Clerk Lady was a Draenei. For those of you who don¡¯t know what a Draenei is, don¡¯t look it up if you¡¯re younger than 20 years old. Don¡¯t. If you didn¡¯t listen to this bunny narrator and went up there anywhere¡­sigh¡­Normally you would see a lot of beautiful pictures of this blue or pink colored humanoid woman with head horns that look like solid tails flicked up, a short and soft lizard like tail dancing from the hip, and her legs would be reverse joined like a goat. However, this Draenei in question wasn¡¯t a beautiful women straight out of every transmigrating hero fantasy. It was a man. Sorry to disappoint you¡­ unless you¡¯re into gender bender. Also, the business card he had plucked out to attempt a false card trick fell to the their table, his name facing up and dripped with splattered beer and foam. N. Cogez. SpecialtyBlacksmith. ¡°Honestly, how dare you call yourself my little sister! I simply don¡¯t understand why so many people in town have this crazy fetish for their female sibling! They all keep saying ¡®there is no way she could be this cute, let¡¯s make out lie lovers¡¯. The idea sends chill down my spine!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood to make your fantasies a reality. Let me drink my Clam Oil Ale in peace, pervert.¡± ¡°WERE YOU LISTENING TO A SINGLE WORD I WAS SAYING YOU DEPLORABLE WOMAN! LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND APOLOGIZE!" ¡°I see nothing but moon in your face.¡± ¡°NOW YOU¡¯RE BEING RACIST AGSINT MY BLOODLINE AS A DRAENEI! IT''S NOT LIKE i CHOSE TO HAVE MY EYES GLOWING LIKE SOME MIND-CONTROLLED ZOMBIE! SERIOUSLY APOLOGIZE TO YOUR HONORABLE OLDER BROTHER!" The Draenei man was slapping his mug onto the table and it almost collapsed and flipping into his face. It wasn''t because his STRENGTH stat was over the roof. No. It was around 15 - 18. The reason because the table was essentially a round piece of plywood that was balanced on top of a barrel. So if you push down on it, it will surely hit you in the face like stepping on a rake. Seeing how it almost capsized, the Draenei panicked and grabbed the edge of the table to calm it down. He was safe, for now. But the Dwarf was bopping up and down on the table, burying her face into her arms as if wanting to nap. Even when her head and folded arms catapulted 5 inches into the air, she plopped right back down to continue her semi-drunk-nap. That was how deep she was in her drink. The Draenei just cringed. ¡°If you hate your job, just quit and work somewhere else.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t hate my job. I hate adventurers.¡± ¡°Then get transferred to an Adventuring Branch in Mimico, Ottaweeaboo! I heard that province have female-only Guilds you can choose from. Surely you can find solace and warm bosoms there! (Lucky b*tch)¡± ¡°It¡¯s no good. If it¡¯s not the guys who want to throw this Dwarf into bed with them, it¡¯s the woman who want to bury their face between my legs.¡±This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°¡­Are you seriously drunk or is everyone in your guild a f**king crackpot?¡± ¡°The latter.¡± ¡°Just resign and go to Mimico. It¡¯s better there.¡± The Dwarf Clerk finally rolled her face up across her arms. She didn¡¯t bother to look at the Draenei who she called a brother¡­(wait, hold the phone), instead she just moaned. Not sexually. ¡°I want a cat.¡± ¡°I told you 59 times. I will not allow you to bring a Siberiana Tigress in my apartment! My building allows zero animals or mounts! Just last week, the Dorm Lady who swings around her iron broom just ejected this Warlock Woman who was hiding a Shoggoth Pet in her house. Do you not understand the seriousness of the situation I¡¯m in if you bring in any animal whatsoever to my personal living quarters!¡± ¡°Wolf Krone.¡± ¡°Oh h*ll no! You are not bringing in a spider to live with me!¡± (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh1aY57rilE) ¡°I meant the Pony that shoots Rainbow from its Three horns.¡± ¡°Weren¡¯t you listening about the story of the Warlock being kicked out for having a Shoggoth Pet!? Please, sober up! Waiter, Prairie Oyster here ¨C NOW!¡± (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prairie_oyster_(cocktail)) The Draenei turned to the man who was manning the¡­ bar counter? The reason why there was a question mark was real simple: the bartender was this creature made of 1000 octopus tentacle and had a squid like head. His arms would dance around, grabbing glasses and bottles with its octopus like appendages. He would regularly flip, tumble, or spin each alcohol beverage around to shake, mix, stir, before serving them across the counter with the speed of a Vickers Machine Gun. ...D*mn, he''s good... Spotting the Draenei, he would wave one tentacle in the air. A signal to say, give him a minute with this order. He¡¯ll be right around.So the Draenei killed time by punching his little sister across the head. ¡°GUBYAFGGGGGGFFFFFFF! F**K! H-HOW HIGH IS YOUR AWARENESS LEVEL, BRATTY DWARF!?¡± ¡°¡­Please just let me wallow in my despair like this¡­ I don¡¯t want to get too drunk that any of these beast folk or human rogues will take advantage of my zero constitution and I wake up in bed naked the next morning, my @ss feeling like it fell down 100 stair steps¡­Sigh.¡± As the Dwarf Clerk said all that, the Draenei was screaming. Hetried to attackherskull the same way a Big Brother would flick the forehead ofh is Litter Sister, only to have said little sister throw a silent revolt and squeezed his wrist. The best way to imagine the damage, was putting 1500 pieces of paper under a 144 ton Hydraulic Press. Let her rip.
<< Dwarf Clerk uses NORMAL WRIST SQUEEZE on Draenei Big Brother. >>
<< It was super effective!! Dealt -700 Crushing Damage. Draenei''s Health is now 100 /800. >>
¡°GAAAAGH! GAAAAAG! I-I SURRENDER! I GIVE YOU MY UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER! L-LET MY ARM GO! M-MY RIGHT HAND IS MY LIVELEY HOOD AS A BLACKSMITH! W-WITHOUT IT, I¡¯LL GO BANKRUPT! HGAAGG! L-LET ME GO! SWEET LITTLE SISTER, LET ME GOOOOOO!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Say it properly.¡± ¡°WHY CAN¡¯T MY LITTLE SISTER BE THIS CUTE!? NOW LET THE F**K GOOOOOOOOO!" The 144 ton Hydraulic press spared the remaining 500 pieces of paper and released the crumpled arm. ¡°¡­F***k¡­.M-my status screen reads I¡¯m crippled and enemy have advantage over me. C-Compensate for my damages!!¡± The Dwarf Clerk disheartently threw her bag of coins onto the table. She didn''t give a f**k. ¡°WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR!? A WOMAN YOU PAY OFF AFTER DRAGGING HER TO BED!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..: ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Odd. Right after you half-paralyze my arm, you¡¯re normally at the point where you would pull out your horsewhip and go on a full BDSM style rampage¡­Are you sure you¡¯re not drunk?¡± ¡°¡­¡­. Leave me alone?¡± ¡°Nuwooooh!! Fo-for you to give up so soon! S-something is definitely wrong!¡± The Draenei waved his hand up in the air, for the Squid-like bartender to see. He gave him a series of finger signs (not the middle finger), which connected together formed a signal. Like how people in LAPD SWAT would do before kicking the door down. The Squid Bartender raised up a tentacle: Monty Pythagoream Rum with Lemon Citrus Plus, no rocks, double shot, coming right up. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. Do you wan to confide in your big brother?¡± ¡°We don¡¯t have the same mothers.¡± ¡°Yes, but we still have the same father who literally worships a certain Greco Thunder God. At least, we share half of the same blood, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Sigh.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the matter, my dear little sister?¡± ¡°... There''s this girl.¡± ¡°I knew it.¡± To simplify her emotions, the Dwarf Girl threw her leg out to kick her brother in the knee¡­Only to fall short by a ruler length. Maybe pitying her Dwarven feature, the Draenei intentional stuck out his knee to cover the gap and took the hit like a trooper.
<< You let Dwarf Little Sister KICK YOU. She dealt you -0.1 Temporary Damage. >>
<< Please ask her to seek counselling for her weak STR. >>
¡°GOWUUGH! How dare you hit me! It hurts!...........¡­.Now can you tell me?¡± ¡°Pastrache. There¡¯s this girl name Pastrache. She¡¯s this new Adventurer I met recently.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell me¡­She took your first?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.: ¡°¡­I was expecting you to kick me again like this Tsundere Heroine ¨C but why are you turning red and looking away from me! D''don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve fallen for her!?¡± ¡°I wonder, if she¡¯s into women¡­or¡­that she¡¯s into Dwarf women.¡± ¡°You¡¯re serious!? You¡¯re seriously considering to abandon your straight life like that!?¡± ¡°Iam bisexual.¡± ¡°Stop. We may be half blooded, but we¡¯re still siblings. Let¡¯s not go into any more detail about¡­ stuff. Ahem. WHERE IS THAT MONTY PYTHAGORUM RUM!?!¡± The Dwarf Clerk sighed and lazily swung her short legs under the table as she kept her head low into her folded arms, ignoing the Draenei¡¯s screaming. All the while, she kept staring at the knots and scratches on the thin ply wood used as a makeshift table to hold their drinks. A little bored, she started to poke one of the 20 empty bottls that sat in front of her. FYI, the Brother Draeinei had about 3 and a half cans in front of him. ¡°¡­¡­To be honest¡­ I never knew I was truly into women, until I met her.¡± ¡°Wow. Is she hot as f**k?¡± ¡°Yes¡­maybe it was because of how curved her half-elf body was, or¡­how her golden sun hair would sweep over her petite shoulders¡­ her pointed ears as sharp as the crescent moon¡¯s tail¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­She¡¯s mine.¡± ¡°Right. Sorry. It¡¯s been a while since I thought of an exotic woman. Ahem. Sorry, please continue.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.Right now, I¡¯m not even sure if this is a fleeting moment of passion, or will this same feeling die down and I go back to hating men and women alike.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Well¡­I should think¡ª¡° ¡°No. I¡¯m not going to drug her and take her to bed. That¡¯s too much work.¡± ¡°Listen to me, you bratty Dwarf!¡± The Draenei snapped at the Dwarf Girl who he called his little sister. At the same time, two long octopus poked out from two portals made of mystical black shadows across the plywood and they rested their ordered drinks across the table. The Dranei didn¡¯t both to look and he dropped some gold coins into their octopus grip, before they shrunk back down into the portal and closed itself. ¡°¡­¡­Alright. I¡¯m listening¡­Brother.¡± ¡°The next time this girl, this Half-Elf, you mention ever come back. There is only three things you can do.¡± ¡°¡­What?¡± ¡°First, make a small gift the size of your hand. Second, take her to the rooftop of your guild, and three ¨C tell her ¡®I¡¯ve always admire you from a distance. Please go out with me!¡¯¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­" "... That it''s. I don''t have any other ideas left to say." "THE F**K!? DO I LOOK LIKE THIS CLUMSY HEROINE FROM A HIGH SCHOOL LOVE COMEDY!? THAT''S AN OVERUSED CLICHED PLOT TWIST TOO!¡± ¡°Hey, it works! About 99% of my the guys in my senior high all watch cr*p like that and re-enacted it! It works 100%! Even the cool and level headed Snow Witch girl Student Council Presdient had the walls surrounding her distant heart shattered in a single strike! She''s already half away around the globe, eloping with that bravely stupid 4 foot Halfling!" "..... G-gggffuh!?" "Seriously, I''m the 1% who didn''t believe in cr*p like that and now look at me! Single! Haven''t touched even a woman''s manacured fingernail with my own hands, and a blacksmith too! Who would want to date a guy who reeks of iron and charcoal! I highly doubt that is a new fetish in town!" "................And... you''re final answer." "Either go with that, or use your original fall back plan. Get her real drunk and drag herback to your--" ¡°SIT BACK DOWN AND LET ME CLUB YOU TO BITS!¡± ¡°NUWOOOH! W-WAIT! Y-YOU FORGOT THE HOUSE RULE! N-NO WEAPONS ALLOWED! NO WEAPONS ALLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWED!¡± In the end, there was this brawl that was isolated between a single Dwarf Clerk girl and a Draenei Blacksmith. Everyone was savouring their expensive drinks, so there was no need to intervene.Besides, the Dwarf wasn¡¯t using any weapon, legal or illegal. She simply used her own chair to vent out her lonely frustrations. "DON''T - EVER - TEACH - A - LITTLE SISTER - CORNY - RIDICULOUS - LOVE - CONFESSION - TACTICS - EVER - YOU F**KING DRAENEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!" "GUGGFF!? NOT CUTE! NOT CUTE! DOOGUUFF!! I DON''T CARE WHAT THE WORLD SAYS, MY LITTLE SISTER ISN''T CUTE AT ALL! POFFGGF!! NOW STOP HITTING MY CERVICAL SPINE YOU BRATTY DWAAAAAAAAARF!" University students, please do not try this at home. They are professional fantasy siblings. The Red String of Fate Means Love and Family. Especially between A Boy and A Dog -- (28th_Fate) :: Dear Diary¡­ In the past few days, Nello and I have gotten a lot closer. No, we¡¯re not dating, so stop giving me that face or I¡¯ll pinch you. Ahem, as I was saying, Nello and I are becoming more of a cohesive unit. We have been training non-stop, me with shooting practice with my rifle and Nello with learning hove to be more evasive despite his heavyset. As much as we rely on his armor too much, there are times where he has to be quick on his feet¡­tracks¡­ wheels, anyway, the important thing is we need to know when to move at a moment¡¯s notice! Just like Mother told me ¡®Smooth as a Cadillac Panther - Sting like a Sabre Wasp, and that is how you get your man¡¯¡­.GAAAAAH! I WAS SUPPOSED TO OMIT THAT USELESS LAST PART! DELETE THAT! DELETE THAAAAAAT! ::
<< Nello is stricken with FEAR. He is unable to move. >>
<< Please seek therapy from a Psychologist regarding his troubled childhood. >>
¡°You can do it Nello! Come on! Jump!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Big Sis¡­ I really don¡¯t want to drown.¡± ¡°No you won¡¯t!! Did you not see me hopping over the steps? If I can do it, you can do it too! Now jump over the river!¡± "... Uwaah! I-it''s 20 meters deep! I-i can''t do it!" "Don''t look down! I keep telling you, don''t look down or you''ll ruin your courage! Now jump already!" The Half-Elf Girl could be seen waving her hands up and down as if flagging down a plane. The way she moved her slender arms was a nice way to emphasize how buoyant her breasts were to the world. As there was no man in sight, she didn¡¯t have to worry about them attempting to fall out of her brassiere or igniting unnecessary fantasies for people. It was because she had her tank friend with her. He¡¯s not a guy¡­ kind of. He sounds like a little boy, but has zero interest in her sexy Half-Elven body... right?... Yeah, zero interest. Too flat. "... I feel like I want to punch someone, but she''s way beyond my reach for some reason." Gulp. "...Big Sis. Let''s not do this. I-I want to go home...even if Stalingrad is scary." ¡°Nello! You have to do this! There¡¯s going to be time in our future quest where the terrain is not to your favour! We tested you in the sand, and you couldn¡¯t get out of a ditch that was no deeper than a sand pit in one of those golfing courses important doctors play at!! Not to mention, you sink when you stand still on the mud.¡± ¡°I-I know I¡¯m getting fatter every time the Russian Army shoves more artillery shells into my pockets, b-b-but this is too much! Th-there is no way I could be as light as a Mink a-and these sticks standing in the middle of the river are too small for me!¡± ¡°They¡¯re not sticks, they¡¯re logs. They used to hold a bridge until an old war 10 years ago blew it up, leaving only the supports. They¡¯re big enough for my two feet to hop across! Do you not see me twirling around over here. You can do it, Nello, you think you can! You think you can! You think you can!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so. I don¡¯t think so. I don¡¯t think so!¡± ¡°NELLO!¡± The T-34 Tank wasn¡¯t by the Half-Elf''s side. Blasphemy, simply blasphemy! Her beloved tank should always be right behind her no matter where she went. Always following three steps behind her with head down and will only speak when it is necessary¡­Oh sorry, this narrator was thinking of the Yamato Nadeshiko¡­ the ideal Japanese wife. Excuse her. Cough. So in summary, Nello the Soviet Tank could be found sitting on top of a perch that was curled over a deep ravine. Like Pastrache mentioned, there used to be a wooden bridge to allow wagons and carts to come to and fro over that river, but like she said again it was completely blown away. Only the pegs, the wooden logs, and the surviving beams were left standing through the river, holding up a phantom bridge.They were packed close enough, so a certain Half-Elf Girl could skip over them as if playing hopscotch. That was why the T-34 Tank could see his friend, waving at him on the other side of the ravine. His iron cannon was shaking. ¡°¡­I-I need to go to the bathroom!¡± ¡°Nello.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m allergic to the moss!¡± ¡°Nellooooooo.¡± ¡°¡­LOOK AT THAT RAT!¡± ¡°Neeeeeeelllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.¡± ¡°Uwoooh!? B-Big Sis sounds scary when she bellows like a fog horn!!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.What did you say?¡± ¡°N-N-N-N-N-NOTHING! DAH!¡± Nello jumped off his 900+ pound tracks and fell back onto his perch when he saw the Half-Elf suddenly began to clench a slender fist. Although she was three time smaller in his vision due to the distance, she seemed to have this ability to expand her ''aura'' across a wider area of effect. Even his turret head was rattling like a knight who p*ssed himself. ¡°¡­C-Can we do this tomorrow!? M-My body isn¡¯t ready for this training!¡± ¡°No. It has to be today! I¡¯ve decided to take on an important quest and I¡¯ve already registered. We have to start and complete it on the same day tomorrow, so I want you to be prepared in case we run into highway bandits or gangs who are trying to rob a steam-magic train. There can be no room for failure!!¡± ¡°S-Still¡­I-it¡¯s too much! M-my legs will crush the pillars and I¡¯ll fall into the river! I-I¡¯ll be swept away!¡± ¡°No you won¡¯t silly.¡± ¡°Y-you mean I¡¯ll break the pillars?¡± ¡°You won¡¯t be swept away. The water is barely up to half my calves. There is no way a river that give Buccanneer and Diamond Salmon a hard time to climb up stream will wash you down like a hair in a bathtub.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°NELLO! RETURN TO YOUR STARTING POSITION! THAT IS AN ORDER!¡± ¡°Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.¡± At the last minute, the T-34 Tank tried to go in full reverse and disappear. Too bad he wasn¡¯t fast enough, his Big Sister Half-Elf caught him in the act. All she had to do was point to the opposite perch over the ravine she was on¡­and the Soviet tank obediently rolled back to his starting line. ¡°Sniff.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Nello. I know it¡¯s scary. I was worried too when I was your age¡­I mean¡­Um¡­When I was little. I would fall into the river dozens of times because I was too scared to properly jump without slipping. But do you know what my mother would tell me to get me crawling out of the river?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°She would say: ''sweety, if you don¡¯t hurry and climb out, the Sea God will snatch you away and make you his 30th bride.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± The Soviet Tank started to go in reverse. ¡°NELLO! SIT!¡± ¡°Uwaaaaaaaaaaah... I-I don¡¯t want to do thiiiiiiiis! I don¡¯t want a Sea God to take me as a briiiiide. I-I¡¯m not a giiiiiiirl!¡± Pastrache bit her lip. The same way mothers would do when she had to be hard on her child to finish her homework, or at least see through riding his bike for the first time to the bitter end. She wanted to cry when she saw the tank reluctantly roll back into position across his perch. She really wanted to up and surrender and say ¡®let¡¯s go home and buy donuts¡¯. But she can¡¯t! Not even if they were family, she can¡¯t let him go that easy!! ¡°¡­Nello.¡± ¡°Sniff.¡± ¡°Do you know why I wanted to become an Adventurer?¡± ¡°So-so you can be rich, famous, and buy pretty dresses.¡± ¡°Yes. But there is one more thing I haven¡¯t told you.¡± "...Um...W-was it that you also wanted an army of girls with bunny ears?" "........................ There is... also one more thing I haven''t told you. Cough." The Half-Elf confessed to all those greedy things in life, but the true problem wasn¡¯t in her selfishness. She could be seen opening and clenching her fists, her lips moving then going still. She didn¡¯t know if she should breath or hold it altogether. Then, she let it out in one big cry. ¡°I-I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m looking for my father!¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Heh?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right! My father! H-he¡­he left my mother and I when I was your age! H¡­he just up and disappeared one day! No one knows why, not even my mom. And I know she isn¡¯t hiding some messed up back story from my innocent mind! We searched for him, to the guilds he once worked with or even the armor stores he often visited in the past. They either kicked us out for being a nuisance, or tell us they don¡¯t know him! W-we even have his picture in our hands god-d*mn it!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± Pastrache dug her nails into her palm. Deep enough to pierce through the skin and draw fresh blood. She gnashed her teeth so hard, she practically stuttered as she kept forcing herself to keep talking. All the while, staring at the calf-high river 20 meters under her feet. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know why he left¡­I¡­I¡¯m not sure if it was something mother said or¡­something I had done that made him angry. H¡­he used to talk to me, about everything, his days as an adventurer. The heroic tales he had with his former colleagues. H-he¡­¡­¡­.he even told me every detail of how he and mother gave birth to me.Th-that man f**king drew down the very positions of what likely made me appear in my mother''s womb, until she would drop kick him to stop corrupting me!" ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­So why!? If a man was willing to show to his daughter how he made sure that he impregnanted his wife properly¡­¡­.WHY WON¡¯T HE TELL ME IF HE HATES THE H*LL OUT OF HIS DAUGHTER OR NOT!?" ¡°¡­N¡­no Big Sis. H-he doesn¡¯t¡ª¡° ¡°OF COURSE HE HATES ME! I¡¯M A DIRTY HALF BREED LIKE THE VILLAGERS KEEP TELLING ME! WHY ELSE WOULD HE LEFT!? I-I COULDN¡¯T THINK OF ANYTHING! I-I WOULD OFTEN IMAGINE HE WAS A SECRET SPY FOR SOME COUNTRY AND HE HAD TO SAVE THE WORLD! O-OR HE USED TO BE A BARD WHO SWEPT AWAY MY MOTHER FROM HER ROYAL KINGDOM AND FAMILY AND WAS BEING PURSUED BY MY KING AND QUEEN GRANDPARENTS!THAT, OR HEGAMBLED EVERYTHING AWAYENOUGH FOR LOAN SHARKS TO COME HOUNDING AFER HIM¡­...but¡­¡­¡­.I don¡¯t know why he left mother¡­¡­or myself¡­I¡­I just don¡¯t know why¡­.why?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± Nello watched. His 3 meter long cannon stared at the Half-Elf who suddenly drooped to her knees, slowly collapsing. Whatever strength she had been relying on to stand on her two small feet were giving away. All the pain she kept locked up was eating away her supports like wood to termites. She had nothing left to keep her up, not even hot air from the fake pride she puts on. She fell to her knees¡­like a dead doll left forgotten on the bookshelf. ¡°¡­¡­Huuh¡­Huuukk¡­¡­¡­I know¡­leaving mother behind¡­to go advantures¡­ is selfish¡­I-I know that if anything happens to me, n-no one in the village will cry except for her. I know they¡¯ll all hold a festival to know that a¡­ a b@stard child was dead¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. I¡­I know I won¡¯t last three months in this new life¡­but I really want to know¡­¡­¡­why¡­why did he leave¡­.please¡­ tell me Nello¡­.Do you know the answer?¡­ As to why my father left without a single word¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­N¡­nello?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­......... *Cricket*¡± Pastrache cried. She tried to hold it in, as to not scare away her one and only friend she had in this cruel world. In the end, the perch she looked up at was empty. Only a set of heavy tracks were left behind on the dirt and down the hill, into the forest. Nello was gone. He wasn¡¯t going to come back. That was what Pastrache thought. ¡°¡­¡­.I¡­it¡¯s okay¡­Nello isn¡¯t like my father¡­¡­that boy left¡­ because¡­.. of how ugly I look right now¡­..I¡¯m so path¡ª¡° "(--- --- ---- -----)" ¡°¡­Wh-what? What was that noise?¡± "(Big --- Stay ------)" ¡°¡­¡­Is that¡­Nello?¡± Soon, the sound of rumbling thunder started to grow in the air. The louder it grew, the more it sounded like... a V12 Diesel Engine? ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..*vvvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVRRRRRROOOOOM!* ¡°¡­H¡­H¡­HOLY SH*T!¡± "BIG SIS! STAY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" The T-34 Soviet Tank charged. Having pulled back in full reverse for at most 15 meters, it shoved its engines at 150% to kick off like a bullet. Running at his maximum velocity of 53 km/h, it ran over a wall of trees, it ran over a barricade of rock, and it ran over and up the hill that was on end of the phantom Bridge. Somehow, the stomping of thos hurried iron legs, caused one log to snap and keel over. Like a dried twig. ¡°¡­...W-wait! Nello stop! I-I¡¯m sorry, th-this is too dangerous! D-don¡¯t come to my side or you¡¯ll definitely fall!¡± ¡°I¡¯M HERE FOR YOU! BIG SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!¡± Pastrache covered her mouth. That was all she could do. Seeing this big and heavy 26.5 ton Russian Tank leap off of the perch¡­and onto the ancient logs that used to hold up a wooden bridge. One by one, they snapped and shattered under its weight. Instantly. ¡°Nuwooohggg!?¡± ¡°NELLO! STOP! TH-THE LOGS ARE BREAKING! I-I WAS TOO OVERCONFIDENT!¡± The girl watched as the massive vehicle charged over to her. His tracks gripped onto some of the logs, and the moment he moved onto the next one the previous support crumble into dead wood. ¡°NELLO! I-I¡¯M SORRY! I WAS STUPID! D-DON¡¯T-DON¡¯T DO THIS TO SHOW OFF!¡± ¡°WAIT FOR ME! BIG SIS! B-BUT STAND TO THE SIDE OR ELSE I¡¯LL RUN OVER YOU!¡± ¡°NELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!¡± The T-34 Tank continued on. Even with its front or hind tracks slipping from the collaping logs, he still kept on going. 160%. 170%...H*ll, 250%! ¡°BIG SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!¡± "O-OH MY GOD! H-HE''SFLYING! HE''S ACTUALLY FLYIIIIIIIING!"
<< Accessing PASTRACHE''s POV for ''Travelling Reader''...................... COMPLETE! >>
*GON-GON-GON~CRACK--GON-GON~CRACK--GON-GON-GON-GON-GON!~GUSHAAA--CLONK...Pssssst....* ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­. Big Sis¡­Cough¡­I¡¯m okay now¡­Y-you can open your eyes. I won''t hurt you.¡± ¡°N¡­¡­Nello¡­You...m...made it...¡± Pastrache had her eyes closed the entire time. She was too scared too look. She was worried that the moment Nello sunk below her eyes sights and into the ravine, she would have faint. She would never be able to forgive herself if anything terrible happened to her friend. Even if he was an animated tank from another world. Yet, when that familiar voice called out to her, and the tapping of a familiar iron barrel patting on her skull¡­she opened her eyes. Sitting in front of her kneeling body was the T-34 Soviet Tank. Covered in mud and shredded moss. "... I did it." "N-Nello... I...I''m so proud of you..." ¡°Y-you were right, Big Sis. I-I can do it if I put my mind to it¡­..I think¡­D-did I do good?¡± "Of course!You did super good. Y¡­you were amazing good, sweet Nello!!¡± ¡°Uwaaaah. Big Sis praised me. M-my nose is turning redder than when I¡¯m shooting at a German Panzer tank.¡± The barrel turned away, as if a small face shying away in emberassment. Yet a small slender hand stopped him from turning entirely, guiding his ¡®eyes¡¯ onto a pair of blue eyes covered in thick tears. ¡°¡­¡­.You deserve a reward.¡± ¡°H-heh? B-but I didn¡¯t do anyting special. I-I mean, if Big Sis could jump over the logs th-then¡­.I guess I can too!¡± As if to support his words, the former logs and moss covered beams that once held onto an old bridge could be found drifting down the river. Only one log was left among the 30¡­ half of its original length. Nello¡¯s nose flicked up when he felt a hand touch the armored front of his body. It was built so that the slope and the density of the compact iron was enough to deflect artillery shells from piercing through his body, thus protecting it from enemy fire. The palm of a young girl glided over those old scars where such shells had glazed off his skin. She could count over 100 different scars, from anti-tank rounds, rifle bullets, and artillery cannons. ¡°¡­¡­¡­..So many scars.. you fought so hard in your old world.¡± ¡°¡­Yeah¡­¡± ¡°You had no parents¡­¡± ¡°Um¡­Can¡­Can I call Mother Russia a parent?¡­......No?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.You had no friends.¡± The tank¡¯s 3 meter barrel turned left and right. ¡°¡­¡­.Nello¡­¡­..I love you.¡± To Nello¡¯s surprise, the Half-Elf Girl lying across his body wiped away the mud and the moss¡­ to plant a pair of gentle kiss onto his armor, where a deep scar was there. It wasn¡¯t that of a lover¡¯s kiss, it didn¡¯t hold that same amount of passion. Neither was it a simple peck on the cheek to get a guy¡¯s attention. Family. The love between a hard working mother doting over her child. Knowing he or she will grow up to become a fine man or women who will soon face the same challenges she had in her youth. That sense of bonding. Belonging. Pastrache had always cried since the day she was born to even now.She won¡¯t hide that simple fact. Today, kissing this tank¡­ was the hardest she had ever cried in her entire life. ¡°¡­¡­Big Sis¡­I¡­I know we¡¯re not really siblings¡­And I¡¯m a tank from Stalingrad so¡­I don¡¯t know what family is like. But please¡­ let me be with you¡­to find your papa¡­ I¡­ I¡¯ll do my best to be Big Sister¡¯s shield!¡± ¡°You¡¯re not my shield, Nello¡­You¡¯re my friend¡­My best friend¡­ my first friend¡­my only friend.¡± ¡°¡­Th¡­thanks Big Sis. A-and...I love you to¡ªAh.¡± *CRACK* The Tank made a small sound, when he heard something cracking. He was afraid, he thought he accidentally ran over a squirrel''s acorn. That would make him sad¡­
¡­Only it was the entire ledge he landed on. It started to split from the main ground that held them above the ravine. It was a 20 meter drop. ¡°¡­¡­¡­..I¡¯m sorry Big Sis. I promise to go on a diet.¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright Nello. We¡¯ll both become the Sea God¡¯s 30th and 31st Bride, together.¡± ¡°¡­Nn..Big Sis¡­¡± ¡°Hey. If we survive¡­ let¡¯s go on another bizarre adventure too. Okay?¡± ¡°Huzzah! Big Sis!¡± *SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH*
<< You and Nello fell into the GRAND CANYON River.Please swim to Shore.
<< Party took -20 Fall Damage. You both are now WET. >>
<< Nello gained +200 EXP for being under water. Submersible Skill is now Level 3!! >>
<< Your relationship with Nello is now 150%!!. Youare now ellegible for Marriage Registration!! >>
<< Your Status is now Prone: Enemies have advantage over your body. Please seek counselling. >>
[VOL.2] (1st_Greeting) - When The Tank First Meets a Beautiful Lady with Scary Eyes ¡°Life is so boring.¡± ¡°A-at least explain to me wh-why I¡¯m in this messed up looking Purgatory!? I-I don¡¯t recall having an allergy to cats so-so why did I suddenly kick the bucket the second I touch a cute kitten!?¡± ¡°Did you not hear me, little girl? Like I just said, Life is so boring. Why does everyone have to end with a regular bad ending that we always see in your world¡¯s drama shows? Honestly, it¡¯s really no better than writing the cause of death for everyone in a selected region due to a heart attack. Please understand, this isn¡¯t an Anime!¡± It was Purgatory¡­kind of. Normally people from our world would pass through this medium stage where it¡¯s decided whether you go up or down. It all came down to your overall credit score on your Karma Profile. Factors such as how much you have donated to the wrong girl scout organization, having a lovely relationshi with a cute nun, fantasizing about your wife with another man''s wife - were taken into great consideration. (#TreatNunsWithIceCream) A stranger from our world was standing in such a medium¡­ ...Only to be dragged into another dimenions that did not look like a realm filled with grey neutral clouds or guarded by a gold or black gate. Rather, the stranger realized she had been moved into an alternate space. "...A 3LDK?" "Haezzz...I may be a Goddess but I don''t get paid much for my services to my world. Not to mention, the price for pocket dimensions are getting ridiciulously expensive!" It was 50 meters in diameters, a perfect circle. The ground was covered in checkered tiles like a game of chess. In one corner there was this Alaska King size bed with silk curtains used to hiding the master of the house when she rests, the wood and banisters hand-carved from France. On the other side was this long and lofty couch made of purple velvet, big enough for a family of five to sit in and comfy enough for one lazy salary woman flop across and nap, the assembly instructions left on the floor bearing a brand name from Switzerland. And the center of the floor was highlighted with this fancy looking hand-knit rug made with multiple homey colors, woven in Fogo Island, Newfoundland. "... Just how much cr*p does one Goddess have? Th-this is enough to be converted into a celebrity cafe?" "It can''t be helped. The pop culture in your world is more exciting than the coronation of a new king in my reality. Of course I can''t resist becoming infatuated with well known artists and inventors from John Lennon to Thomas Edison! Why do you Earthen people get all the interesting characters!?" A small hallway table was covered with all sorts of memorabilia, ranging from different major eras in Earth history. Starting with coins collected from the Mesopotamian Civilization, aromatic herb satchels from the Roman Empire, pieces of wood from ships that had circumnavigated the globe, a compass left behind in early Arctic Expeditions, fresh Poppies from the fields of Belgium, exotic glass bottles from the Prohibition Period, to photos of the first supersonic Concorde jet and headlights from the first models of the Kawasaki motocycle. That much cr*p. It would explain as to why the stranger, a regular high school girl was this confused. "There has to be a mistake. I was on my way home from school when I came across my neighbor''s cat who she locks out for scratching her couches. I was only comforting the little guy and patted it on the head. S-so explain to me how did I end up in this messed up part of heaven! I wasn''t even on the road!" "Like I said, your demise came from allergy to animal fur. Please keep quiet and accept your tragedy. Sigh." ¡°I-I really don¡¯t think I¡¯m allergic ti cats¡­unless¡­ m-my father lied to me so he could see how puffy I can turn into. The rat b@stard!... B-but..W-what the H*ll!? A-A goddess from another world knows the science behind anime! Wh-what is this world coming to!?¡± ¡°Yes, yes, yes. I even have yearsworth of this ready to eat meal calledCup in a Noodle stored in a pocket space under my armrest. Now that I mention it, it''s already getting close to lunch break, I need something to nibble one or I''ll get cold chills.Ahem.Now, let''s hurry and get down to the official processing shall we?¡± ¡°¡­Wait¡­C-Cup in a Noodel, isn¡¯t it the other way around?¡± ¡°Oh me, oh my. Someone wants to be reborn as a hamster.¡± ¡°O-oh dear god, please no! I-I heard Hamster boys a-are super violent wh-when they¡¯re in heat. Th-they¡¯ll rip through my body like paper with their mini-drill! Sh*t, I-I''m starting to break into a sweat just imagining how I might become a hamster love slave!" ¡°Fu-fu-fu. At least someone has some manners. Not like some ungrateful reincarnated b@stards that call me a woman with scary eyes!¡± ¡°¡­Well¡­you¡­ do have¡­ rather sharp eyes.¡± ¡°Hmm. I heard Worms are new fad amongst transmigration enthusiasts.¡± ¡°Oh please no. That¡¯s just as worse. I-I have to cut myself in two to have a partner¡­ that¡¯s¡­ a cest on a whole new level that I want no part of.¡± ¡°Then drop to your knees and beg for forgiveness!¡± ¡°¡­I-I won¡¯t lick your shoe.¡± ¡°D*mn it little girl! I¡¯m the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances! Do I look like that happy go merry woman married to the Greco Death God who carries a scythe like a housewife holding a spatula! She''s the one who has a dominatrix fetish, not me!" The high school girl dropped to her knees and put her hands to her head. She receivd no formal training, but self-tought from watching a lot of cops and robber movies broadcasted by the nation that flew the Star Spangled Banner.She would carefully look up at her captor¡ªEer, Goddess and see who she really was. Sitting upon a throne made of crystal ice and floating mist, was this beautiful lady. As she was the status of a goddess, there was no point in descrbing how beautiful she was because most goddess in their life would want people to praise them being better looking than gravure models.She was definitely a looker, even when she was as angry as a storm marching towards a harbour. However, her one defining feature to take away from wasn¡¯t the beauty mark under her eyes¡­ but those sharp, sadistic, and decisive gaze. A beautiful goddess with scary eyes. ¡°My name is Lady Odyssey. As the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances, I will offer you a new life in my world. So what class would you like to take?¡± ¡°W-wait. Wait. Does everyone who come through here have to go to a world born from fantasy? To somewhere full of flying dragons, psychic mages, o-or even an large war between pretty elves and scary orcs? C-could it be like some kind of steam-punk society where guns and airships are the common place? I mean¡­ not offense, but the ''reborn in fantasy life'' is a bit clich¨¦d. Even in modern Anime.¡± ¡°¡­You say that, yet I still receive over millions of request to be sent to my world just so they could find a cute monster girl or elf woman to marry or to simply bang their brains out. And I¡¯m not taking about shooting real bullets.¡± ¡°Tch. Men.¡± ¡°Tch. Men.¡± The Goddess who sat on the crystal throne sighed along with the visitor she had kneeling. She swayed her hourglass hips to the side and switched her legs around. As if to subset a heading, she took a puff from what looked like a thin and elegant smoke pipe as narrow as an incense. Rainbow e-vapors escaped her lips.(#Don''tSmokeLikeHer) ¡°¡­Ew! Y-you¡¯re not wearing any panties!? A-aren''t you a Goddess!?¡¯ ¡°Sh*t! I-I was in a rush this morning because the Goddess of Debt and Memory was knocking on my door! I-I forgot to cover my private places right after bolting out of the shower!¡± ¡°Wait... Don''t tell me that... before I showed up, did... every lonely man or woman caught a glimpse of paradise under your skirt?" ¡°VER-D*MMIT!¡± The highschool girl frowned when she noticed how fast the Goddess was picking up on that simple logic. Maybe it was in the interest of time, or she didn¡¯t like to be watched while she changed - especially if the visitor was a woman - but she continued, her thighs clamped tigher than an oyster shell. ¡°I can still see them. As a fellow women, it¡¯s shameful.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m not doing this as a fetish for boys who pass in here! I-I¡¯m serious trying to work! You don¡¯t understand despite how large the world I watch is, thereis just not that many people! The current population isn¡¯t even close to your world by 5% and cities are collapsing because they¡¯re either too small or too poor to support themsveles. By following with ths Transmigration Program, we could boost the economy and stir up the old blood with people from your world who think outside of the box.¡± ¡°So essentially, your sending radom teenagers and adults to an alternate world, just for business¡­how is this different from human trafficking.¡± ¡°I get their signed consent.¡± ¡°Way to side step that land mine.¡± The Goddess pouted and waved her smoke pipe as a way to close the argument. Just as she was about to begin the official transmigration process, however... ¡°Hmm??¡­Hey!! Why is a Christian Angel trespassing on my territory!? You¡¯re Divine Agency have properly submitted the papers and dispatched this visitor to me to send to my world! Your internal organization said there¡¯s an over capacity from where you come from because most people don¡¯t want to reincarnate back to their world so soon!¡± ¡°¡­H-heh? What?..Um¡­I think this cute angle girl is telling me there¡¯s a mistake.¡± ¡°Absurd. The only fault belongs to your Divine Agency. Christians do like to put blame on others, don¡¯t they?¡± ¡°I may be Japanese, but I¡¯m Christian. Don¡¯t make me kick your @ss in the name of the Lord.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Tch.¡± As if realizing she was outnumbered in a fist fight, the Goddess turned away from this beautiful and sweet looking angel with delicious bedhair, who began to start whispering into the highschool student¡¯s ear. An expression changed on her small face. ¡°You got the wrong person. The person you¡¯re looking for is a foreigner from Denmark.¡± ¡°I-Impossible! Th-this isn¡¯t my first time at the rodeo, little girl! I was as diligent as the nurses in your reality double checking medications three times before administering it to a patient! I even relied on this card printed with the 7 Rights and 3 Confirmations, laminated and riding in my breast pocket!" ¡°The person you want has the exact same name as me. But I¡¯m Japanese, so the first and last names are reversed.¡± ¡°F**k!!" After clearing the misunderstanding, the Goddess sucked on her pipe hard enough to ignore the high school girl giving the woman with scary eyes a bad face. With a *PAAAAH* sound effect, the angel with delicious bedhair took the girl away, back to the living (another internal confusion).This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Life is so boring... Sh*t! I forgot to boil the kettle!¡± The Goddess had a long hard day. She finally decided to go for her long overdue lunch break. So she used her magic to give herself a hearty meal. Boil some water with an electric kettle to hydrate her instant noodle in a cup. "... Shrimp... I''m in Shrimp Flavor kind of mood... yeah..."
<< NOTIFICATION: You have a new Visitor in your Realm Space!! >>
<< A new Candidate for Transmigration wants Access to your Domain. Do you Accept? (Y/N)?>>
¡°¡­Hmm? Tch. Can¡¯t those halo-wearing, wing flapping Divine Agency do anything right?? At least let me finish my lunch!¡± Remebering her title as the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances, she sighed in absoute defeat. She ended up pressing the ''Y'' for Yes and submit the request order to be completed. The moment the mystical screen closed, she poured the hot water into her foam cup. *FUWABOOOOOOOM!* ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..The f**k?¡± The lady with scary eyes felt her entire Heaven Space jump, as if experiencing an instant earthquake. Impossibe, she designed it so she wouldn¡¯t have to be bothered with the recoil of natural disaster. She wasn¡¯t like that trigger-happy Goddess of Nature and Rebuilding, who intentionallu throw in whirlwind storms and natural disasters onto a city like some kind of sick feature in a video game. (#SimCityFunButScary) ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah.¡± So when the Goddess turn, she dropped the half-filled cup of ramen noodels from her hand. ¡°¡­Wh¡­what the h¡­¡­..F**k it.¡± Unsure what to make of this new sight, the heavenly woman walked across her tiled floor. ¡­A tank. There was this large tank that was lying crippled on the ground in front of her. Its armor was broken, its tracks ripped up, and the turret head had this massive hole in it. As if cannon shot it open point blank.Whatever magic had shifted this entity to her space, also collected some of the dirt and snow from the land it came from. At the same time, the Goddess could see the tank still freshly bleeding with oil onto her chess-pattern tiled floor. She just sanitized it only yesterday¡­now, it was leaving foul odor in her room. The Goddess with Scary Eyes frown. ¡°¡­¡­What the H-E-Doube Hockey sticks are those idiots in the Holy Immigration Organization doing? I told them only teenage boys and girls in their prime! I don¡¯t mind the occasional salary man or office lady who are in deseperate need of some excitement in their life but this is beyond the pale!¡± The Goddes scowled. Many deities of her calibre would love to be called beautiful, no matter the circumstances. Sad. Crying. Rage. Nothing but perfect beauty. So we will leave her twisting expression as is. Still it was easy to tell by her scowl that this was not going to be a good day for whoever fell into her beloved room. ¡°Honestly. Even when we have an agreement, they always send me the sh*tty kids and useless humans with zero skills! I am the Goddess of Rebirth, give me someone who qualifies as a hero! Or is it true that all of those movies about big hulking men with ridiculous amount of muscles andEuropean accents all fake! GAAAH!¡± To vent out her frustrations of her century-long job, the Goddess with Scary Eyes kicked the dead tank.
< > === RETRIEVING MEMORY FILE: FLANDER-0128-A.===
¡°OW! TH-THAT HURTS! TH-THAT¡¯S WHERE THE PANZER SHOT MY LEG!¡± ¡°Geggg! Sh-sh*t, I forgot anything dead I touch automatically gets reborn. Tch! S-such a troublesome feature! I-I can¡¯t even touch a regular human man without turning him into a girl prettier than me when we try to do stuff only married couple should do. This is no fun!¡± ¡°¡­U¡­Um¡­Lady¡­It hurts¡­Could you please not kick me anymore?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­I¡¯ll just have to kick you again to turn you off. Hyup!¡± *THONK* ¡°OW! S-STOP IT!¡± ¡°Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff¡­Tch! This is a pain in the @ss.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Sniff.¡± ¡°What are you crying you brat!? You¡¯re alive now, and you can talk! So what are you weeping about!?¡± The Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances up and snapped at the half-dead tank that had fallen apart in her heavenly bedroom/chamber. She gnashed her teeth, and even tapped her shoe in front of the being while she waited for an answer. The voice of a small boy spoke up¡­ and what used to be a 3 meter long nose was now 1.5 meters with a nasty 45, 35, and 25 degree bend. A messed up series of Zs connected by their end. There was this strange bandage tied around one part of his nose. ¡°... Well!? Speak up! Or forever hold your breath after I kick you off my platform and into my world¡¯s atmosphere.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Did¡­I win?¡± ¡°Win what?¡± ¡°The war.¡± ¡°You¡¯re just an armored car with a f**ked up nose. I highly doubt you won the war. Look at where you are. You¡¯re dead.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.I¡­I am?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious little boy? Or do you want this grown woman to kick some sense into you.¡± ¡°GUUHG!?¡± The tank let out a small sound, like a young man being kicked in the face by a sadistic woman with heels. Which¡­is exactly what the Goddess did. Whatever positive aspects about her were gone, only that defensive wall that blocked her heart from any living being she would grand a second chance too. The wrath of a businessmen. ¡°I don¡¯t have time to talk really, little metal heap. I¡¯m technically still on my lunchbreak and my time limits are strict. Once my break is over, I¡¯m back in the trenches and have to transmigrate more people over to my world to boost the economy¡­.Speak. What do you want?¡± ¡°I-I want to know if Russia was able to beat the German Tanks!!¡± ¡°¡­Russia?¡± "Nn¡­¡± ¡°¡­Now that you mention it, you don¡¯t look like an M1 Abrams¡­Don¡¯t look at me like I¡¯m crazy, I¡¯ve read up on your world¡¯s modern day science. I¡¯m no fanatic, but at least I have to keep up with your god-d*mn technology or risk being left behind by the other goddess. See, I even have the latest Smarphone from that company with the half-eaten apple!! I may not know how to use it, but at least I can still look cool in front of my holy peers!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯m confused.¡± ¡°Sigh. What year were you born?¡± ¡°Um¡­1943.¡± ¡°How old are you?¡± ¡°Five days old?¡± ¡°¡­Serious?¡± ¡°¡­I¡­I was born to fight the German Tanks that were invading Stalingrad¡­M-My tank brothers and I were one of the last few defenses. I-I don¡¯t know what happened but¡­ I got really mad and I fought the scary German Tiger Tanks by myself¡­ I still don¡¯t know what happened.¡± ¡°¡­Hmm. I see. Battle of Stalingrad. Well, you definitely had it rough little boy.¡± ¡°Uwaaah. L-lady¡¯s hand is so warm.¡± The Goddess crouch down and rested her arms on her knees. With one hand, she reached out to touch the tank on the scarred head, making his remaning nose twitch uncomfortably. She tilted her head left and right, eye lids twitching. It was like she was downloading some information from the simple touch. ¡°¡­Ah yes. You were born from the Kharkiv Komintern Locomotive Factory and had to be deployed to support the 53rd Russian Tank Battalion of the former Soviet Army.¡± ¡°Y-yes! That¡¯s right, how did¡­¡­.f¡­former Soviet Army? D-did we lose?¡± ¡°No, no. They just went bankrupt after the Cold Wars and became a different Russia.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.What¡¯s bankrupt?.¡± ¡°I¡­Hmm? Odd. What is this hiding in your mind? ¡­.A second memory file?¡± ¡°M-mem? What?¡± ¡°Ssssh! Let me see it.¡± ¡°Nuowooooh! Th-the scary lady¡¯s hand is digging into my bodyyyyyyy!¡± The half-dead tank panicked, as the Goddess soon drove her hand into his structure. A glowing light filled her arm, allowing her to enter into some kind of magical space within the vehicle. With some fumbling, sticking out her tongue in awkward angles, she found it. And quickly pulled her arm out. ¡°¡­¡­Y¡­you¡­.¡± ¡°¡­M¡­me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.I don¡¯t belive it.¡± ¡°Wh-what? What¡¯s the matter?¡± The tank tried to raise its cannon, but a metal shrapnel as big as a pizza wedge was lodged in his spaces so it couldn''t go any higher. All he could see was the Goddess¡¯s fine legs as she stood up. If only he could see this ghostly and sweaty expression on her face. ¡°¡­You¡­you were¡­ reincarnated¡­your true past life¡­ isn¡¯t in the defence of Stalingrad.¡± ¡°¡­N¡­no? D-did I make a mistake?¡± ¡°You¡¯re that boy¡­. Who died frozen on the steps of the church in Belgium¡­you and that dog¡­. You¡¯re¡­ Nello.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Who?¡± The Goddess stared at this half-dead tank that spoke in the voice of a small child. The tank tried to look up at her, but again his cannon was jammed and his gimped body was bent in an awkward angle. There was no way for him to look up with his head that could only swivel 360 degrees circle. ¡°¡­¡­.You¡¯re¡­ my favourite book.¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°So when I realized that even going through all that hardship, sticking with your faithful dog to the end, to when you had hope upon seeing that open door in the back of the church¡­¡­.I cried when I read the ending¡­ Did you know that?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..I¡¯m¡­a book?¡± ¡°¡­it seems my powers weren¡¯t so useless afterall. One kick and I somehow connected back to your original personality¡­However, your body¡­ to think you had to be reborn as a soldier first¡­Did you find your friend, your faithful dog in the past life.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­Little tank.¡± ¡°A girl died when she gave me this bandage.¡± The Goddess recoiled when she saw the tank raise the cannon up high, snapping open the debris jammed in its head. The tank then revealed the soot covered bandage that was tied around the barrel. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡­I wanted to tell her I will protect her¡­but¡­¡­.the enemy shot at me and¡­and¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Hey.¡± ¡°Guggg!?¡± The tank made a small sound, like a young man how was kicked by a sadistic woman with high heels. The Goddess did that¡­ only it was more of a nudge with her foot across the most armored part of the tank¡¯s broken body. To her flat smile, a plate broke off and clattered on the ground. ¡°¡­Ow.¡± ¡°Sorry. My bad. I was trying to act cool to get your attention.¡± The Goddess took in a deep breath¡­ and finally smiled. Somehow, those sharp eyes no longer had that intimidating effect on anyone right now. ¡°Would you like a second chance to save her?¡± ¡°Yes. I do!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­Ha..ha¡­You¡¯re the first transmigration candidate who truly wanted to enter a new world, just to save a sweet girl. Not to bang her.¡± ¡°¡­Why would I shoot her? Sh-she¡¯s not my enemy.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you know how many men wouldnot say that. Ha-ha-ha.¡± The tank was confused, lowering his barrel. But then he saw the legs of the Goddess walk away, her shoes clapping into the ground. She then jumped and sat down on her throne made of crystal ice and floating mist. Leaning to the side with her legs cross, she smiled. ¡°Little tank. I¡¯m sending you to my world to become a hero. The wish you desire is to protect someone you failed to save twice in your life. I hope, third times the charm for you. Before we begin the official transmigration, do you have anything to say?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± ¡°¡­Little tank. Don¡¯t be shy. Say anything you want. Normally, I let the brave new hero from your dull world say things like ¡®I¡¯m going to be the king of the world and build my ultimate harem!¡¯¡­.Something like that. It¡¯s fun to watch¡­So¡­what would you like to say?¡± ¡°Um¡­¡­¡­¡­Miss Lady.¡± ¡°Yeeeeeeeees?¡± ¡°Why do you have this weird looking exhaust pipe between your legs? Is that where you load an artillery shell?¡± *CLUNK* ¡°¡­Hmm?¡ªNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!¡± With a press of a button across a majestic arm chair, the trap doors under the half-dead tank opened. The vehicle dropped right through, scarring the checkered tiles due to its oversize, and it plummeted through the atmosphere of a green and blue world covered in purple aura. The Goddess on the throne watched as she listened to the screaming of a falling cat. When she no longer heard his voice, she released the button to seal the exit on her floor. With a sigh of content, she uncrossed her legs with a smile. ¡°¡­Pantieeeeees. Pantieeeees.¡± And clamped her bare legs together until she could finally look for a pair of clean underwear in her many drawers. [VOL.2] (2nd_Confess) - The Candid Conversation between a Half-Elf and Her Diary at 3:00 AM :: Dear Diary¡­ I worry about Nello. It¡¯s hard to tell you in detail if I simply were to record my words like this. If only you could speak to me, maybe I could bounce some ideas off of you and possibly come up with a good idea in how to make life easier for Nello¡­¡­.. Sigh¡­Puchi. Puchi Puchi. ::
¡°Puchi, puchi, puchi.¡± [UJMYHN_JACKASPLM__!!] Pastrache was bored. Rather, she was troubled to the point of being bored. Although she had been with a certain T-34 Soviet Tank for over a few weeks, there was something deep in her heart that she found very troubling. She still didn¡¯t understand the boy---er tank she calls Nello.So far, their relationship was like a brother and sister... Well, that was mostly from Nello¡¯s perspective. But from the Half-Elf¡¯s point of view, she loved him as much as she loved a big fluffy guard dog. No, that was not to be disrespectful. Think fellow maidens, do you love your dog more than your boyfriend... See! Some of you are nodding in agreement! "... I wonder what life would be if Nello was in fact this giant red dog with lots of fluffy fur...Uwaaaah. I could totally use him as a blanket during the cold seasons... and rub his snout all day... teach him tricks... Maybe his name would be Cliff*rd...Yeah." [TGBRFV___STUPIDQAZ] Pastrache knew there were different kinds of love that could be well defined by the Greek Definition of love. Before she would dived into that deep level of conscious thought, she busied herself by sitting at a lake near the capital city to where she often visited. Sitting in between her legs, in a non-sexual manner, was this phantom like girl curled up in front of her with her own legs stretched out on the grassy bank.The girl with all blue skin and body didn¡¯t look happy. Maybe it was the fact Pastrache kept poking her soft round cheeks as ifshe were a plush doll.
<< You used SIMPLE POKE on Hologram Diary''s face. You dealt -100 Frustration Damage. >>
<< Your Relationship with Hologram Diary went from -100 to -200. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°Puchi Puchi Puchi. Aaaah. Dear Diary. I can¡¯t get enough of rubbing your cheeks together. They¡¯re so soft, no matter how long you¡¯ve been with me.¡± [TGBWSX__IDIOTQAZ__IKM__!!] ¡°Sigh. I wish I could understand what you keep telling me. The only sounds you make are akin to a broken radio, and there is no available cipher for your complex Morse system...Hmm...If only you could speak Common, I wouldn¡¯t have felt so lonely while I was a wee lass back in my mother¡¯s cottage¡­At least, the winter won¡¯t be so cold if we slept together like twin sisters.¡± [YHNWSX_FUKYOUTGB] ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right. I think I really need to hurry and get me a bunny maid. I¡¯ve become super frustrated lately and with my growing adult body, I¡¯m starting to have lots of maidenly needs now...Sigh.¡± [............................OUTWSXRFV__!!] Pastrache didn¡¯t understand why the little girl sitting in between her long legs suddenly jumped to her holographic feet and wanted to run away. Seeing how she was heading towards the lake, she grabbed her by both of the thrashing wrist and held her down. No, it was not like a ''boy throwing his lover onto the bed'' held her down.
<>
<< Hologram Diary''s status is Prone. You have advantage over her body.>>
¡°No! You can¡¯t swim in the water! You may be just a leather book on the surface, b-but your have sensitive parts that would get ruined if you get wet like that! Don¡¯t you remember, you''re an artificial intelligence program!¡± [YHNRFV__HELPIKM__HELPQAZTGB__!!] ¡°Wh-why are you thrashing around like that? I-I¡¯m not going to hurt you! You¡¯re my friend, as well as my diary! I still have to record my thoughts down so please sit still and listen to me or the audio will be distorted!¡± [YHNTGB__NEINWSXTGB__NEINQAZRFV__!!] No matter how much the little holographic girl screamed, all of her words came out as noise. Not out of disrespect per se, but rather whatever sound she made resembled to that of a radio trying to adopt to the right frequency or channel. It would sound coherent for one second and then it would be mess up the next. The best way to imagine it, is to edit several clips that have no connection together and run them at 10 times speeds. That definitlysounds man-made captain. ¡°¡­Listen Diary. This is important. Nello is my best friend, o-on equal terms as you of course, and I really want to get close to him. Despite how he looks up to me, or how kind he is¡­ I still feel he wants to keep me at a distance.¡± [..................QAZUJMTGB__??] ¡°Yeah. Lately, every since the incidence where we fell into the ravine, he¡¯s been real quiet. Always in thought. Whenever I talk to him about it, he would gently tell me everything was fine. But I know, regardless if he is a reincarnated automaton born and built for war, he still has a troubled heart. I¡­as his Big Sister, I should look out for him. Don¡¯t you agree?¡± [........TGB__SHRUGEDCUJM] It was unclear as to what the Holographic Girl said. With a quiet expression, she somehow made several gesture with her micro-body language as if to say ¡®none of my business, now let me go back to sleep woman! It''s 3 o clock in the morning!¡¯
<< Hologram Diary''s Battery is at 5%. Please turn off to begin auto-recharge. >>
<< Hologram Diary''s is afflicted with Exhaustion, all Character Status are temporarily lowered. >>
<< Hologram Diary is too tired to be able to run. Please let her sleep. >>
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. [WSX__SEEYHN__!?__PAYTGB__ATTENTIONEDCYHN__!!!!!!!!] ¡°Tch. Stupid automated advertisements, go away. *Click *Click*" [..............................FUKYOUWSXTGB.] "Hmm? You think so too? Yeah, Nello has been kind of acting odd recently. Everytime he looks at me, he suddenly turns his long nose away. I guess he is trying to avoid making eye contact. But surely there is no need to be self-conscious or shy around me right. I mean... I don¡¯t look like a slut right?¡± [YES__TGB] The Holographic Girl frowned. She didn''t understand what was so important for the Half-Elf to activate the Diary Protocol so early in the morning. Even if she did notice how Pastrache was troubled, the little Hologram Girl seriously paid little to no attention to her owner''s emotions. The phantom like being really want to curl up and sleep, not listen to someone complain all night... The Half-Elf let out another long sigh. Deep in thought, she would move her soft and slender arms, raise a hand to stroke her pure chaste neck, wipe off the lip gloss from the corner of her full mouth, and then sweep her fingers to comb her long honey blonde side-tail. Every now and then the Hologram Girl would watch Pastrache mumble to herself, massaging her long pointed ears, and pull on the thigh-high stockings that covered her long and beautiful legs. Legs that would make every woman fall for her.. even this Narrator (*gulp*). [................TCHWSXYHN] ¡°KYAAAAAH! WH-WHY DID YOU PINCH MY THIGH! TH-THAT¡¯S NOT NICE! I-IT WILL LEAVE A BRUISE! I-I SERIOUS DON¡¯T WANT PEOPLE IN THE GUILD THINK I¡¯M A SLUT WHO TAKES IT ANYWHERE!¡± The Half-Elf was kicked her lovely legs up and down across the grass, all the while holding her Diary in the form of a wriggling Holographic girl who looks no older than 10. She ignored the grunts and mumbles the Holographic child made, while she vented out her childlike furstation across the lake bank. ¡°Is it a crime to look pretty! I mean, I¡¯m not trying to attract unwanted attention or have men involve me in their messed up fantasy of every R-Rated genre possible!! I-I just want to wear cute clothing and look nice!¡± [......FUKYOURFVWSX] ¡°Bugggffff! S-stop moving, y-your elbows hit my stomach! I bruise easily!¡± After a small war between the two girls, the Half-Elf ended up calling a truce. What signed the piece treaty was her chin stamping itself across the top of the Holographic Girl. Despite how transparent and unreal she looked, the chin didn¡¯t fall through and enter the ghostly cranium. Somehow, this gesture alone made the Holographic girl fall silent. ¡°¡­¡­.. I was once lonely, you know¡­ Nello changed all that when he first met me¡­I¡­ I really want to return the favor.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.] ¡°¡­ He keeps calling me his Big Sister, even when we just met. The first stranger he saw the moment he woke up from his transmigration to this new world. A reality he doesn¡¯t understand.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.] ¡°Normally, I hear only some people from That Other World were kind, and would go on great adventures with the inhabitants here to make great changes¡­ But most of them who do come over, always end up impregnating the girls in my village¡­Often, my mother would hide me in the underground pantry if she didn¡¯t trust this ¡®new visitor¡¯ from another world¡­But Nello is different¡­ regardless if he isn''t human.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..TGB...QAZ¡­] ¡°He looks up to me, as if I was truly the big sister he never had¡­ But, I¡¯m a Half-Elf, a half-blooded being¡­I¡­.Every day, I feel I have no right to hold his admirations on my shoulder¡­ I couldn¡¯t even take care of my own problems.¡±
<< You used TIGHT HUG on Hologram Diary. You dealt -2 Crushing Damage. Please calm down. >>
<< Your Emotional Status is at 68% in the red zone. Please seek out a Psychologist. >>
[.......YHN__OKAYTGB__ALRIGHTPKMIJN] ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m not a very good role model¡­ but I¡¯m willing to try. For Nello¡¯s Sake. I honestly, honestly, want to connect with him deeper.¡± The Holographic Girl frowned again, but not in a bad way. She could be seen moving her hands and fingers across Pastrache¡¯s arm, her phantom-blue fingers up and down to nibble at the skin. It was the same way a little girl would stroke the back of a cat, or scratch in between its ears. This gesture alone would have always made Pastrache feel ticklish, cheering up with a restraint giggle. Having been with the Half-Elf since she was a wee lass, the Hologram Girl knew everything that would make her owner smile again. However, today seemed to have been different. Even with both ghostly hands rubbing the Half-Elf forearm, not a single smile appeared from the depth of this depressing abyss that Pastrache''s heart was trapped in. Even if there was so much as a grin, it was merely a facade to shield the fragile emotions she was thinking about. The Hologram Girl knew this too well. [¡­..........BEYHN__HAPPYWSXEDC.] ¡°¡­ You¡¯re right." [__!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!__HEARWSX__MEUJM__???????] "Maybe I should try and wear something even prettier to catch Nello¡¯s eye." [....................................................................................................] In that moment, there was this incomprehensible silence between the Half-Elf and her Living Diary. It was hard to count how many seconds had passed, but to the Hologram Girl the comment she heard was enough to make her stare at nothing for a good 30 minutes. Even without any regular nerves, her eyebrow could be seen twitching. "Given that he sounds like a boy, I¡¯m guessing he¡¯s a boy. I should treat him more like a growing young man and show him how beautiful a lady could be. That should raise up his down spirits, don¡¯t you think?¡± [___IDIOT___]
<< You were hit with SUPER PUNCH to the nose. It dealt -30 Bludgeoning Damage. Super Effective! >>
<< Your Status is now Prone. Enemies have Advantage over your body. >>
¡°BUGYAAAFFFGG! Y-YOU PUNCHED ME!? YOU ACTUALLY PUNCHED ME! TH-THAT¡¯S THE 20TH TIME THIS YEAR! ALRIGHT, THAT¡¯S IT! NO MORE NICE SOB QUEEN! I¡¯M GOING TO SPANK YOU UNTIL YOU CONVERT YOUR VOICE BOX TO SPEAK COMMON!¡± In the end, the Half-Elf thought through her dilemma. Somehow, the conversation with her living diary gave her new insight she never thought to have been able to reach by talking to herself. So she truly felt grateful for this girl made out of programmed magic and artificial intelligence¡­ a present from her parents she had been keeping since she was born. Hence, Pastrache believed it was worth all the punches and kicks she received on her body from the raging Hologram Girl. [DUMBASPKM__STUPIDQAZ__WHORUJM!] "GUBYAAGGFFFF!? H-HOW DARE YOU DROP KICK ME IN THE FACE! LOOK! MY LIP IS CUT FROM YOUR HEEL! H-HOW CAN I EVER SHOW MYSELF WITHOUT SOME GUY THINKING I TAKE IT HARD AFTER GOING ON MY KNEES! NELLO WOULD THINK I''M A WOMAN WITH ZERO MORAL! SO I DON''T CARE IF YOUR A COLLECTION OF ARCANE PARTICLES AND MAGIC CIRCUITS - LET - ME - SPANK - YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
<< You have entered combat with Hologram Diary. Friendly Fire. Friendly Fire. >>
<< Your Relationship with Party Member is now -500 (MAX). Please seek counselling, Miss Rebel. >>
[VOL.2] (3rd_Chaos) - What Happens when a Certain Raven Witch Drops By for a Visit? :: Dear Diary: I¡¯ve decided to prepare somethings to surprise Nello. This would involve me having to run back and forth between my friend and the city to make some arrangements. I was thinking we could celebrate our friendship together, regardless if it has been two or three weeks since he transmigrated. Wait, that¡¯s a good idea!! We¡¯ll celebrate his new rebirth in the new world and starting a new life. He is no longer a machine for war now, so this is a good occasion to splurge some money on! Come on Diary, stop kicking my shin and let¡¯s get to work! ::
¡°A-aaahn. B-Birdy L-Lady¡­Y-you¡¯re not Big Sis, s-so please d-don¡¯t touch my armor like thaaaat!¡± ¡°Ooooh! To think that this province would have such an exotic creature as a wild animal. Should I catch you to make you my beloved magical familiar. Oh-ho-ho, the possibilities of what fun we will do together.¡± ¡°Haaah! Wh-what are you licking your lips? A-are you hungry Miss Birdy?¡± ¡°Fu-fu-fu. Wouldn¡¯t you like to know, my dear¡­¡­.whatever you are.¡± Nello was in trouble. Deep trouble. No, he wasn¡¯t suddenly called back to fight on the Eastern Front in his original world. Neither was fate so cruel as to transmigrate a horde of German Tiger Tanks around him like a plot twist in a manga. The trouble came in the form of a beautiful woman. Nyet, she didn¡¯t have pointy ears. Nyet, she wasn¡¯t exactly a regular human you meet in a regular fantasy world. Nyet.........Sorry narrator lost train of thought... Rather, she was wearing this elaborate robe made out of 1000 raven feathers, long silky black hair, and sported a cute cone hat. ¡°¡­Um¡­Miss Birdy¡­ My name is Nello¡­Who are you?¡± ¡°Oh-ho-ho. Don¡¯t you know the Wicked Witch of the West when you see one, my darling?¡± ¡°¡­¡­. What¡¯s a witch?¡± ¡°Th-that was supposed to be a joke to tease you, y-yet why does your honest response hurt my pride¡­ I-I feel like I want to cry now that I realized how unpopular my class is¡­¡± Yes, a Witch. As this was an alternate fantasy realm where regular people in our world would be reincarnated or transmigrated, or both, over to this side of the coin, it was only a matter of time before our heavy metal hero would stumble onto these peculiar creatures known as Witches. The woman who resembled a walking and squawking raven etched a smile over her face as she continued to rub her palms over the front of the T-34 Tank¡¯s armor. She would examine every crevasse and line, every bolt and screw, to even tickle her finger in the small spaces between the bottom of his armor cover and his tank treads.
<< Raven Witch used TICKLE. Nello''s Defenses Sharply Fell. >>
<< Nello has been dealt -100 Emotional Damage. His Status is: Paralyzed. >>
¡°Guugh! N-not my feet! I-it tickles! Ugyaagagagaga!¡± ¡°Hmm¡­Jokes aside, I still find you an odd specimen. The fact that you¡¯re an advanced form of automaton with a high level of independence and intelligence still confuses me,despite the fact I wholeheartedly want to believe you¡¯re a real magical structure. Say, little one, could you do me a favor?¡± ¡°U-um¡­I-I don¡¯t know if I can really help you Miss Birdy.¡± ¡°Please call me Sleipnir. It¡¯s easier to roll off your tongue, Oh-ho-ho.¡± ¡°Shipyard.¡± ¡°¡­Sleipnir.¡± ¡°Sou-Souvlaki?¡± ¡°Sleipnir.¡± ¡°Sh¡ªBICHUUGUGFFF!¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Bless you. And you still got it wrong.¡± ¡°S-Sorry Miss Birdy.¡± ¡°¡­. Alright fine, Birdy it is¡­ Although, I don¡¯t like being referenced to a scoring in a golf game.¡± ¡°Sniff. Cough. U-Um. You said you want me to do a favor¡­ wh-what is it?¡± The T-34 Tank was confused as he stared at this beautiful woman who called herself a witch. He was supposed to be patrolling around the outer edge of the forest while his Big Sister dealt with ¡®private matters¡¯ within the bushes. He knew she was in dire need to let it all out with all her heart, so he respected Pastrache enough to roll away to let her speak in her diary. To make sure he didn¡¯t accidentally overheard anything, he ¡®walked¡¯ about 100 meters from the lake she was sitting at and exploring the area. While he was scanning the road to spot for any possible threats, the biggest one suddenly surprised him by falling onto his head.Not gracefully no. More like she just dropped from a 10 story roof, tried to fly on her broom, and she just up and slammed her body onto Nello¡¯s head.
<< Replaying Record for ''Travelling Reader''............... COMPLETE >>
"Gulp, gulp, gulp. Puwaaaaaah. That hits the spot! Thanks for the Health Potion little one. If I kept bleeding out like that from such a tragic fall, my life points would surely hit zero. Ooh, this concoction is surprisingly effective. Even my discloated shoulder is back in place. See, my arm isn''t swinging around like dead rubber!!" ¡°¡­¡­¡­..Um... Don¡¯t tell Big Sis about it. Sh-she¡¯ll get real mad if she finds out I borrowedthree potion for you to recover without her permission...Uwaa, maybe I should have asked first....¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry. A woman never tells her secret¡­ especially to another cow-b*tch.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a cow¡ª¡± ¡°So, what exactly are you? And can you promise to do me that favor I mentioned?¡± ¡°Um¡­Fi-first, I¡¯m a T-34-85 Battle Tank of the Soviet Red Army. I-I was born and fought in the Battle of Stalingrad when the German Tanks invaded my homeland¡­Um¡­..I can shoot with my nose and my eye.¡±Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. The Witch tilted her head when the tank said ¡®eye¡¯. To emphasize, he wiggled the barrel of his anti-infantry machine gun installed into the turret head. ¡°And¡­ I can use my body as a shield!! B-Big Sis always told me how helpful I am whenever people try to shoot at her! I can block the bullets!¡± ¡°Impressive, truly impressive. Why if this contract between us is successful, I could surely take advantage of my stronger foes with that iron body of yours¡­Fu-fu-fu. Oh the possibilities I can have with you in my future quest for continental domination!!¡± ¡°¡­Miss Birdy, your drooling on my armor.¡± ¡°Sh-sh*t! M-my bad habit is showing when I get excited. A-ahem.¡± ¡°U-um. N-not to be rude, Miss Birdy but¡­ you mentioned something of a favor three times. Er¡­ what do you want me to do?¡± The Raven Witch wiped something off from her mouth, re-applied her lipstick with a compact mirror, and turned back to look at the T-34 Tank with hungry eyes. She suddenly leaned over the front, even climbing her one knee across theiron slopeas if it were the edge of a bed. With one arm supporting her body on the metal, she would use her other slender hand covered in a black bridal gauntlet to make her fingers walk across the armor plating as if a pair of fine legs. A sweet smile coiled on her lips as she breathed. ¡°¡­Be my familiar?.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a familiar?" ¡°Geh!? D-don¡¯t ruin the moment! Just say yes! Here, let''s make it official!¡±
<< Message Received: Raven Witch had sent you a Magical Contract. >>
<< Raven Witch is offering you a Position to become her Arcane Familiar. Do you accept? (Y/N) >> => ............................
¡°¡­ Um¡­B-Big Sis told me I shouldn''t promise anything from a stranger¡­Now that I think about it, she told me to not talk to people I don¡¯t know. They can be super scary and eat me¡­A-are you going to eat me Miss Birdy?¡± ¡°Does it look like I have teeth capable of crushing diamonds and an intestines that could withstand sharp metal fragments. Even if I did survive the initial biting phase, my body would surely twist and fail from bad case of iron indigestion. I don¡¯t want to reincarnate to another world so soon!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Uuuuuuuuuuuuuu. M-Miss Birdy is mad at me¡­Uuuuuh.¡±
<< Raven Witch used SCARY GLARE. Nello''s Emotions Sharply Fell. It''s Super Effective! >>
<< Nello''s Status is now FRIGHTENED. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°¡­W-wait a moment. A-are you¡­ are you actually crying? You, this advanced form of magical artificial intelligence!? A golem that shouldn¡¯t have any form of indpendence of emotion, yet here you are!! Surely, you¡¯re not actually crying because my voice is only two decibals louder!?!?¡± ¡°Big Sis! Wh-where are you!? I-I¡¯m scaaaaared¡­¡­..Now I forgot the way back! I¡¯m lost! Big Siiiiiiis! Uwaaaah! (TxT)¡± ¡°Nuwooooh! Y-you¡¯re seriously crying like a child lost in a shopping market!? Y-you weigh over 100 tons and covered in diamond-hard carapace, yet you¡¯re really bawling because you can''t find your mother in beauty section!? I-I¡¯m a beautiful girl, a nice witch born from the north ¨C s-surely that should mean something!¡± The Witch was proud she found herself a good catch. She was looking for a magical pet and combat mount, in order to support her in her future to dominate the the continent as she would fly around on her magical broom spreading chaos everywhere.Cackling beautiful along the way, no less. However, she didn¡¯t expect the T-34 tank to actually drop his 3 meter cannon into the dirt and make sobbing sounds.If she didn¡¯t know better, she thought a child was hiding behind that armor. But no matter how much she would peek inside the cracks and open spaces, she saw no one curled up in tears inside of the crew compartment. ¡°W-wait. Wait a minute! D-don¡¯t make this Witch look bad! I-I¡¯m very nice, y-you know. I-I love children! See! ¡­. Bleeeeeeeeeh! I-I can make a funny face that even babies will laugh at¡ª¡± ¡°GYAAAAAAAH! A GHOOOOOOOOOOOST! BIG SIIIIIIIIS! HELP MEEEEEEEE! (0§Õ0)¡± ¡°DON¡¯T F**KING DISS MY FACE, YOU RAT-@SS PIECE OF METAL! DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE MY MAKE-UP IS! IT¡¯S MADE FROM UNICORN HORN AND PROTON SEAWEED! BOTH ARE RARE INGREDIENTS IN THIS WORLD! I INTENTIONALLY TWISTED MY DELICATE FACE JUST TO MAKE YOU SMILE! BE ¨C F**KING ¨C GRATEFFUL!¡± ¡°UGYAAAAAAAAAH! BIG SIS! BIG SIS! WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOO!? UWAAAAAAAAH!¡± ¡°Oh my god, I honestly don¡¯t know how to solve this¡­¡­Would you like some taffy, little boy?¡± ¡°¡­....................Sniff¡­What¡¯s taffy?¡± ¡°It¡¯s very sweet and makes your teeth¡­eeer¡­nose chewy??¡± ¡°Oh! I see, lubricant for my gears! Okay! I¡¯ll try it Miss Birdy!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Mein gott, what is wrong with children these days. To follow a stranger because she¡¯s passing out sweets¡­¡­.Sigh. Never mind. I¡¯m not a villain type character, so rest assured. Maybe, let¡¯s talk things over about making a pact in being my Magical Familiar while I offer you some ice cream.¡± ¡°Oh! Something cold and sweet! Okay! Let¡¯s go!¡± No sooner did the Raven Witch smiled, feeling relaxed that she had made a new friend¨C ¨CNello¡¯s original friend LUNGED! ¡°GET THE F**K AWAY FROM MY NELLO YOU RAVEN WH*RE!!!!!¡± ¡°NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!¡±
<< You used MILITARY-GRADE FLYING TACKLE on Raven Girl. You dealt -90 FORCE Damage. >>
<< The target''s status is now Prone and Dazed. You have Double Advantage over her body. >>
Nello stopped in his tracks and turned to the squeal of a cat being tortured. When he looked over his shoulders¡­ er, tracks, he saw a familiar Half-Elf rolling across the grass with the Raven Witch. In the eyes of a normal man, they would have a lovely reaction to the sight in front of him. In Nello''s eyes...was a different story altogether. ¡°¡­Oh! Big Sis! You¡¯re back! Sniff. I was so worried about you!!!¡± ¡°Nello! Who is this woman that¡¯s dressed like a slutty crow and propositioning her body to you!? I told you, never say yes to a shady pretty girl who offers to show you things men want to see!¡± ¡°G-geeg¡­I¡­I¡¯m not a¡­..p¡­pro¡­prostit¡­Aaag! H-heelp! ¡­¡­ M...my familiar...¡­ s¡­saaaaave me¡­¡± The Tank looked down at the two lovely woman wrestling each other in a life and death match. The Half-Elf could be seen mounting the Raven Witch across the waist, both of her elegant hands wrapped tight around the latter''s throat. Maybe because of her class as a Witch, she had zero combat or physical strength to even save herself. At most, her only method of defense was hitting the Half-Elf in the gut with her fists. Again, each blow weighed exactly as a cat punch. They did nothing more than tickle Pastrache''s belly button, and it only added more fuel to her womanly fire. ¡°From now on Nello, always be on your guard when you¡¯re around pretty women. They can¡¯t be trusted!! Housewife is okay, but if she is lonely and giving you signs like brushing her hair over her nape or tracing her fingers across the color of her dress, just turn away and talk to me. I¡¯ll calm you down with a head pat!!¡± ¡°¡­¡­C¡­Can you say that again Big Sis? Miss Birdy is making too much noise, I-I can¡¯t hear you.¡± ¡°H-help¡­I-Innocent¡­F..Familiar¡­. Business¡­.Ggeegg¡­¡­.N¡­not¡­s¡­sluuuut¡­.¡± ¡°WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU F**KING EGG-LAYING CROW!? I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE A CHEROKEE DRUM!¡± ¡°Uwaaah! W-wait! Wait! Big Sis! You misunderstood, she¡¯s a nice lady who only wanted to treat me to candy and ice cream! I-I don¡¯t know what it is, b-but it sounds like she¡¯s a good person!¡± ¡°I ¨C DON¡¯T ¨C CAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!¡± ¡°GGEGGGHFF! I-I DOOOOOOOOOOO!¡± Don''t worry, Miss Raven Witch lived to fly another day... although, she was hospitalized for a month after this...and had to seek occasional therapy forher phobia towards Elves. [V2--4th_Gossip] - The Nightingale in the Cage. If you Release Her, is She Truly Safe in the World? ¡°Umm¡­Anne¡­Why is Big Sis crying even when she¡¯s asleep. Did something happen?¡± [QAZTGB__SOBRFVEDC__FESTPLM] Nello was confused that evening. It wasn¡¯t the fact how he saw the sky was turning from blue to green to orange to purple, pink, then indigo right before it shifted into a bluish-black night color. Neither was it the flock of pigs with falcon wings taking to the sky in a V-Wing Formation. It was because his best friend was found curled up across the grass, fast asleep in the open. Normally, he knew she would rather spend the night inside of his tummy (read: crew compartment) as it was a safer alternate than setting up a tarp and tent to camp out in the middle of the cold empty road. Not to mention, clenched in her arms was the Hologram Girl that was her living diary. For some reason, the Half-Elf had these thick trails of tears stained on her small face. ¡°Anne. Please tell me, what happened to Big Sis? Was it something bad?¡± [EDXYHN__DONTQAZ__ASKWSX] ¡°I have to know. I-I want to help Big Sis. I-if someone is bullying her, th-then I have to tell them it¡¯s not nice¡­ E-even if it¡¯s a German Tiger Tank, I-I won¡¯t be scared and run away. I-I will tell him to s-s-s-s-stop p-picking on Big Sis!¡± [TGB__STUPIDUHB] ¡°Th-that¡¯s mean!¡± The Hologram Girl sighed. She tried to wriggle her body out of Pastrache¡¯s sleeping hug with the flexibility of a crossbreed between a cobra and a caterpillar (#GoodGodInHeaven). After her 55th attempt, she failed. Worse, the Half-Elf¡¯s arms was wrapped around her chest, in a way that compressed on her lungs so she had trouble breathing¡­ Hold the bus, this character was a hologram! ¡°Do¡­Do you want some help?¡± [TGBYHN__NOWSX__DIYQAZ__!!!!] ¡°¡­I-I don¡¯t know what you just said but¡­ do your best.¡± [UJM__IDIOTRFV] ¡°¡­Sob.¡± Nello the T-34 Tank let out a noise like a boy who was being picked on by a girl in the playground. All the while the Hologram Girl ignored his wailing as she struggled to attempt her 56th escape. After seeing a breakthrough by plucking one arm out, she then ended up failing to yank her small hips out of Pastrache¡¯s grip. The Hologram Girl made a noise that was akin to cursing, but due to her voice box being on an alternate frequency, it sounded like a radio switched through 10 different channels back and forth. No one understood her pain. ¡°I-I can¡¯t help you. Here, use my¡ªUGYAAAG! D-DON¡¯T SLAP MY NOSE IT HURTS!¡± [DIY__DIY__DIYWSXEDCUJM__!!!!!!!!!] ¡°Uuuuuugh¡­But¡­I don¡¯t get it. Why is Big Sis crying and sleeping outside. She¡¯ll catch a cold.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­] ¡°She told me she was only going to step away for a minute, so she could talk to you in private. I-I don¡¯t know why she suddenly wanted to talk to you, but she looked super sad right before leaving me behind.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..] ¡°Please Anne. Tell me what happened. I-I really want to know. Maybe there is something I can do to help?¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.SIGHWSX¡­] The Holographic Girl wrapped under the Half-Elf¡¯s arms clicked her tongue. She failed to escape for the 57th time and made no progress in moving her hips out of Pastrache¡¯s hold. Feeling that there was no escape from this situation, she eventually gave up and accept defeat. [¡­.*Vvvvvvvv* - *Bzzzzzt* - *Click*-----Dear Diary¡­..Say, do you think I¡¯m really a slut?] ¡°OH! B-BIG SIS IS TALKING!.......B-B-BUT, SHE-SHE¡¯S NOT EVEN AWAKE!¡± Nello heard a familiar sound, despite the fact he was a Tank born during the Battle of Stalingrad 1943. It was the noise an audio recorder would make, where the operator would rewind the tap *Vvvvvvvv*, stop the track at a certain point *Click* and then play the recording. A recording of Pastrache¡¯s voice. Every time her voice spoke out into the air, the Hologram Girl would move her lips to sync with the vocal patterns. A living diary replaying a precious audio log made by her owner¡­ not too long ago. ¡°B-Big Sis? C-can you hear me? Uwaa, so confusing. Sh-she¡¯s sleeping right in front of me, but, but Anne is talking in Big Sis¡¯s voice. Wh-what is going on!? (@x@)¡± [¡­Diary, is it wrong to wear pretty clothing? I mean, I know I don¡¯t have money to make myself look like a duchess or something, but I still have the right to look nice, don¡¯t you think?¡­So, why does everyone think I¡¯m intentionally wearing ¡®skimpy¡¯ outfits just so I can ¡®nail a man¡¯ for benefits¡­] ¡°¡­Heh?¡± [I mean, why talk about my appearance? Has anyone else ever paid attention to the women of my guild? The Ranger shows off her thighs and her midriff like some kind of belly dancer. Barbarian Class warriors always adopt bikinis from micro, slingshot, to obscene dental floss. Even the Mages and Priestess wear clothing that¡¯s practically see-through, their robes are just super long negligees! S-so why is everyone respecting them but think I¡¯mthe walking wh*re!?] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..B¡­Big Sis, you¡¯re not a who¡­Anne, what¡¯s that?¡± [I don¡¯t get it¡­ I honestly don¡¯t get it, Diary. Why do all the guys think I would go to bed with just about anyone. And to say that I¡¯m a gold-digger, above all things! Do they not understand how f**king expensive the economy is right now!? Just last week, Monster Repellent were sold at 10 GP and now they¡¯re inflated to 100 GP in just seven days! D*mn it, even the rent in the city is ridiculous, it would brankrupt even a Tier 2 Adventurer without a discount! Of course I have to be smart and be a penny-pincher, I don¡¯t want to sleep on the streets!] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. Um. Big Sis, you could always sleep in my tummy. I-I don¡¯t mi¡ª¡° [¡­Sniff¡­Hey Diary¡­ tell me¡­ Do I really look like a slut¡­ I-I¡¯m not revealing my cleavage so-so I could get guys to look at me, n-neither do I wear stockings to ignite men¡¯s fantasy¡­I-I don¡¯t even like it when the other girls pinch my @ss and whisper vulgar things into my ears¡­ I¡­I¡¯m not a slut! I¡¯m not a wh*re! I-I¡¯m not a prostitute god-d*mn it!] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..¡± [¡­ Please, Diary. Please get a real voice and tell those @sshole in my own Guild that I didn¡¯t sleep with 1265 men twice. You''ve been by my since I was five years old, so you would know what kind of person I am!¡­ I-I¡¯m not¡­.sniff¡­ I¡¯m not that kind of loose girl everyone thinks I am¡­Uuuh¡­.Aaahuuhh¡­.I¡­I wish I can hug Nello¡­ I really want to hold him and hear him tell me something nice and kind¡­ but I can¡¯t say it, I can¡¯t tell him the things I hear every time I go back to the Guild¡­ I¡­ I just can¡¯t¡­] ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± [Sniff¡­uuuh¡­D*mn it all, Diary, s-stop walking away from me and listen to me properly! Sniff! Come and give me a hug for crying out loud, you little br¡ª*CLICK*] With a small sound, the recording of the day ended there. Thus, why a certain Half-Elf was curled up and squeezing the body of the Holographic Diary¡­ her face painted in sorrow and dried tears. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­TGBUJM__UNDERSTANDQAZ?] ¡°Nnn¡­I get it now.¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..?????__WHERETGB__GOINGQAZ__?????] ¡°Anne¡­Did Big Sis ever tell you where these people from her Guild would often go?¡± [¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.YES---- *Vvvvvv* *Bzzzzt* *Click*-----Hey Diary, it¡¯s me. I passed by a couple of @ssholes from the Guild I work with while on my way to find a job request from the main hall and they---]
<< Your Party has left the Sycamore Ruins. Would you like to Rest for the Night? (Y/N) >> => (A) Yes
<< Setting up Base Camp Point. Your Ether Files have been Saved. >>
¡°Hey guys. You know about that new Elf girl who joined the guild, She¡¯s hot.¡± ¡°Hmm? Oh you mean the Thigh Goddess Pasta? Yeah, I dream about her every night.¡± ¡°Not to mention, just the way you imagine how her face will melt with pleasure as she eggs you on to go harder is a satisfying image right? Ha-ha-ha.¡± Somewhere along a certain road, there was a band of hard working Adventurers. They consisted of aMopey-lookingRanger, aStarry-EyedFighter, and anBaby-BoomerPriest with too much years of experience under his belt. As it was already past the curfew established by the capital city, they had no choice but to camp out for the night and wait for morning to return to the Guild to collect their mission reward. As it was a long night and none of them were that tired, they decided to gather around the fireplace to make hot cocoa. Even though it was close to midnight, they were not in the mood to tell ghost stories. Rather, they wanted to talk about ''other stories''. ¡°Say, Mopey Ranger. Ever thought of dating that Pasta girl? Surely her bed experience will give you a run for your money.¡± ¡°Yeah, I kind of thought about it Mr. Sword-Swinger, but you know... She''s more than second hand, you know what I''m saying?" "Ah, I heard about that from the Guild Paladin. Said she''s already shared a bed with hundreds of guys. I bet her morals are looser than her skirt. Ha!" The Priest gave a heart laugh as if he told everyone a silly joke about two Orc walking into a bar. The Ranger would stoke the fire with his iron arrow and the Fighter nibbling on his rations, both of them chuckling at that ''joke''. "Come on, SirRanger. Surely you know better. You''re definitely no saint when it comes to playing around with women." "Now I confess,Mr. Priest, that I have been with both guys and girls, but I too have my own principles. Any women who''s been with more than three guys in one week is a no - no." "...Hmm. You guys worry about whether or not she has zero virtue. But I''m more concerned whether she''s, you know... tainted. I mean, we do have Dragonborn and Tieflings in our Guild. Who knows what funky status they''vehave after messing around with ''other species'', don''t you think so?"If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. When the Fighter brought up that small point, the Ranger and Priest made a ''ah'' sound. They ended up nodding together, agreeing to the seriousness of that thought. As if hitting a dead in while finding the solution of a complex Sudoku puzzle, they mulled it over with chins in their palms. All the while waiting for the kettle to boil. ... Then the Priest had this idea. "I have an idea, cough... Would you two stop playing around with your toys and listen to me?" "I don''t know, Mr. Priest. It''s already past midnight and the fire''s not working on the makeshift pot you''re using to boil the water. I think I''ll turn in for the night. You guys can have my share of cocoa. I''m out." "I agree with the mopey looking Ranger. I ran out of messaging scrolls to call my girlfriend and she must be p*ssed for not returning her dove messages. I have to make an early dash to the city or else she''ll break up with me for good." "Why don''t we ask that Thigh Goddess to join our party!?" "................ I don''t know. She''s hot and all, but super weak. Given her current combat level, she''s pretty useless in a Level 20 raid." "I concur. The last thing I want is her to get in my way when I''m swinging my bastard sword...I can''t even say bastard in front of her, she''ll start going into a perverted rambling to get my attention." "Ahem. I meant ''join our party of three''..." ".........................................???" ".........................................???" "......And then some." "OH! THAT''S A GREAT IDEA!" "H*LL YEAH! IT''S NOT LIKE SHE''LL CARE!" As if confirming to how much of idiots these three high level adventurers were, the pot they were using to cook the water was reaching a boiling point. It so wanted to up and explode in their faces, and melt their sh*t eating grins off from a lecherous ideaology they carried with pride. Unfortunately, the Mopey-looking Ranger plucked the little pot off the fire before it could erupt and deal serious amount of damage. Its fuel full of bubbling fury, was candidly dumbed out to fill three mugs full of prepared instant cocao powder. "I said I''ve done it with a men and woman, but I never thought''at the same time''. I can definitely cross off that idea from my bucket list!" "Screw my girlfriend. What guy wouldn''t want to party with girl like that Thigh Goddess, and then some. Count me in, old man!" "Then it''s decided! For fame, glory - and hot women!" "You go, old timer!" "Here, here!" *SMAAAAAASH!* Three iron cups full of hot cocao were slammed together. It was to carry on the cheer of the three idiot Adventurers who felt confident in their elaborate plane to ''play with'' a certain innocent and chaste Half-Elf Girl. Obviously, they would be happy enough to throw their cups into each other for the contents to spill, of course. But maybe they were too excited. The second they tapped their cups together, they shattered. That, or there was a large muzzle of a 76 mm cannon that go in their way and their cups smashed onto its body instead. Thus, shattering them and spilling boiling cocoa everywhere. The pain wasn''t enough to bring the three idiot adventurers out of their dumbfounded stare. ".................. Are you three from Big Sis''s Guild?" "..........................................." "..........................................." "..........................................." "................. You were saying a lot of mean things about her. Please take it all back." "..........................................." "..........................................." ".................................What?" "TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BIG SIS, YOU BULLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!" A monster. A beast. Never in the three Adventurer''s life as wandering heroes have they ever seen such a magnificant creature. A mutant crossbreed between an Mountain Ogre and Rhino Beetle. With a body covered from bow to stern in in-organic iron, wielding a long iron lance that could pierce through a stone wall--- ---The Iron Monster lunged at the Heroes! "SKILL ACTIVATE! BONE CRUSH---" *THWACK!*
<< UNKNOWN usedIRON BARREL(???)on you. Dealt -1000 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<>
<< Your Status is now Prone: Enemies have Advantage overyour body. >>
<< WARNING: Your Health Points is below Critical. You Fainted. >>
".....Gg..gagagkku..." The Fighter was the first to go down. Among the team he was the one with the highest Reflex score. So it was obvious he would have attempted to activate his one hit special Attack Skill that could deal 100 points worth of damage to one target within his eye sight. The second he moved his ankle to start standing up, however, a certain cannon muzzle had already swung and smoked him in the head. Like the swing of a homerun battle into a baseball. ...A non-lethal maneuver of course. His body could be seen engraved 10 inch deep across the face of a boulder. "... H-HOLY SH*T! M-MR. PRIEST! TH-THIS THING JUST TURNED OUR FIGHTER INTO PUBLIC ART!" "E-EVASIVE MANEUVERS! EVASIVE MANEUVERS!" Before the remaining two Adventurers could move, the Iron Beast took its action first. The iron caterpillar tracks spung to life, something deep in its belly roaring like a chorus of lions, and thick grey smoke shot out from its spine. The monster of iron charged at them, trampling over the campfire, their gear, and their bedrolls they unfolded so neatly. All save for one pot that was originally used to boil water. "AOE SPELL - SHADOW VOLLEY! FIRE! FIIIIIRE!" The Ranger said those words as he fumbled for his exotic gold and silver bow. Loadinga crystal arrow to the string he pulled it back to the point where some twines burst before releasing it, eyes wider than a deer in the headlights.The second the arrow ignited with a flame the color of amethyst he was able to smile. Because it exploded, and a shower of magical purple darts came crashing down like a volley of missiles! With the fury of an aerial gunship!
<< You used Area of Effect Skill - SHADOW VOLLEY Lv20. >>
<< You dealt -0 Piercing and Burning Damage. >>
<< It was not very effective.>>
"....................Wh-WHAT!?" Just as the Mopey-looking Ranger gasped at those very words, he choked on his own breath as to what he saw. The Clouds that were kicked up by his Shadow Arrows cleared... the entire field in a 10 meter radius stabbed with glimmering purple darts the length of an Olympic Javelin. They all stood on the earth like a series of gravestone...All except for one pile of those purple arrows rolling off the steel carapace of the iron beast. Not a single scratch. The long ''iron stick'' in his head that acted as an eye just wiggled the arrows off. If this was truly a turn based strategy game - it was the metal beast''s turn. *RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!* "UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGG!" "MOPEY RANGEEEEER! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Priest was the last man standing. Watching his own comrade be swallowed up in a hail of shining bullets, his stomach sank. In all his many years in fighting and raising experience as a Priest who specialized in the Healing Arts, there was nothing a man could do to save someone who was turned into a beehive. So, he was the last man standing. "....................Ranger...Fighter...... This Priest of the Goddess of Honor shall avenge you..........URYAAAAAAH!"
<< You have Disengaged from Battle. You are able to Flee the Combat Zone. >>
"FORGIVE ME, MY FRIENDS! BUT I''M JUST AN OLD MAN WITH ZERO PHYSICAL PROWESS! AND I HAVE A PENSION TO THINK ABOUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" With that, the last Heroic Adventurer turned tail and bolted. His movements were faster than a Jaguar in full sprint for the hunt. Despite the man''s over the top age, he was able to possibly out run the fastest man on earth. Of course, due to this occasion it was a one-time only. The Baby Boomber Priest knew that the next time he tried this stunt, he''ll surely throw out a hip and may end up in a senior home ealirer than he exp-- *VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!* "Hmm--GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hearing an odd noise, the Baby Boomber running from the battlefield couldn''t help but turn around. After being an Adventurer of so many years, surely he would know never to look behind you when you''re running away from something that could potentially kill you. "NOOOO! NOOOOO! PLEASE STAY AWAY! BACK DEMON! BACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Iron Beast was right on his tail. The Priest was fast, given with an extra shot of adrenaline, even faster than an average man. But no matter what, everyone in our world knew you could never out run a motorized vehicle. Even if it was an old World War 2 tank that ran at a maximum 53 km / hour. "GODDESS OF HONOR! I WAS WRONG! I''M SORRYING FOR DITCHING MY COMRADES WHEN THEY NEEDED ME MOST! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, AND CAST SUPREME LIGHTNING FROM THE SKY OR THUNDER FROM THE CLOUDS ONTO THIS IRON DEM---Guwooh!?" The Baby Boomer Priest made an awkward sound. Maybe it was because he was too busy praying to his Goddess (who was properly waving her finger going ''tsk, tsk, tsk'') and didn''t see the upturn root on the road. Of course he fell over, on his face. With a crack, an OOF, and a bloody nose, the Priest ended up trapped right in front of the pursuing monster. The more its caterpillar tracks marched the louder he could hear its demonic bellowing gurgling inside of its iron gut. "G-gegh-gegggaugg---HOLY SHIELD! ST. LACRIMA PENDANT!" In a last ditch effort to save his skin, the Baby Boomer Priest shot out his hand. It clutched onto a short church staff with a diamond-shape gemstone on the head. The ornament quickly glowed and released a violent golden light into the air. With a wave of magic, it quickly formed a compact and 10 inch thick barrier framed together like the images of a Kaleidoscope. With holy patterns and sacred runes glittering on it, the shield stood its ground to protect the caster. A magical anti-everything field. "...H...ha-ha...HA-HA-HA! Y-YOU LOST, MONSTER! NOT EVEN A LEVEL 30 BRONZE DRAGON COULD G-GET THROUGH THIS IMPREGNABLE SHIELD! S-SURRENDER NOW AND TURN YOUR EYES TO MY GODDE---"
<< WARNING: Holy Shield Spell reaching 350% over Critical. All Systems Overloading. >>
<>
<< You cannot cast this spell again in the next 24 hours.
"...F**k....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--" After the Iron Beast casually ran through the Level 30 Holy Barrier like a pane of sugar glass, it proceeded to run the man over under its tracks. Drowning out whatever noise the last Heroic Adventurer was trying to make towards his disappointed Goddess. .............. .............. "..... Uwaaaah. D-did I overdo it?" The voice of a small boy echoed in the road side that night. Even when all the Heroes were completely defeated, there was no one there to gloat over this one-sided victory. Just this large iron beast that looked like a shoebox with a long pole sticking out like a straight beak. The creature suddenly pulled in reverse, slowly. Despite all the carnage, it looked like it was scared it would crush a bunny or cockroach under its tracks. In doing so, it showed the mess he made under its feet. ".........Brbbrbrbrbrbrbrbr." The Baby Boomber Priest was foaming from the mouth. His mangled body could be found tucked into a human ball, clearly in between the heaviest set of tracks in the forest. From head to toe, not a limb nor hair were crushed under 90 tons worth of metal and motor. ".....Aaah...aaaaahhhuuh..." The iron beast continued to move in reverse, passing by a half-dead tree. Curled up at the base was the Mopey-Looking Ranger, shaking like a hamster about to be swallowed by a cobra. A series of fresh bullet holes carved a silhouette around his tiny shape, some of it piercing through his cloak and hood. Other than the cut on his cheek from splinters flying everywhere, he was unharmed. Shellshocked, yes, but nonetheless unscatched. ".....G...guug." Last, the sound of a certain Starry-Eyed Fighter moaned into the cold air. The iron beast had turned around on its tracks to give him a good look, seeing him engraved deep into the face of a bolder with his arms and legs mimicking the angles of an Egyptian heiroglyph. ".............I''m sorry for doing this. But what you said about Big Sis made me really mad...Y-you don''t w-want to make me mad, s-so...Don''t bully Big Sis any more!" With that... the iron beast that had demolished three Level 20 heroes in a matter of 60 seconds fled the scene. It wasn''t like RPG-based police was going to come and do anything, and the three victims weren''t even dead - just need a lot of physcological therapy after this nightmare of an encounter. However, what scared the monster most was---
"Nello! I''m mad. Really mad! Where have you been all night! Big Sister was worried pantless about you! "S-sorry Big Sis, I... got lost." "Don''t lie to me! When a child says he''s going out to get some candy from the market, they don''t come back as if they rolled around in a puddle of mud for kciks and giggles. I''ll let you think it over before lying to me again." "............ I got super lost." "Nello, be honest and tell me straight... W...were you out tomcatting with another carriage?" "...What''s tomcatting?" "Oh good Goddess, Nello''s purity is still intact. I-I wouldn''t know what to do if you came back with a blushing coach carriage towing behind a bouncing baby wagon." "......... Big Sis is making fun of me." "Sigh. Well, now you''re here I guess we should prepare for our next mission. This one is going to be tough, so we have to upgrad and---WHAT THE F**K!?" "...What''s wrong, Big Sis? You look super mad right now." "NELLO! WHY IS YOUR STATS CONGRATULATING THAT YOUGAINED OVER 10 000 EXP!? AND WHAT IS THIS ''KILLIMANJARO'' ACHIEVEMENT BLINKING IN MY FACE!?" ".......STATS! I DON''T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, BUT YOU''RE A TRAITOR TO RUSSIAAAAAA!" "DON''T PUSH THE BLAME ON A CHARACTER UPGRADE SYSTEM, NELLO! NOW LOOK ME IN THE EYE WITH YOUR NOSE! DID YOU GO OUT AND GRIND FOR EXPERIENCE POINTS WITHOUT ME!? WE''RE A TEAM, A FAMILY REMEMBER!? WH-WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF AMONSTERHAD THE UPPER ADVANTAGE IF I WASN''T AT YOUR SIDE! I WOULD NEVER LIVE WITH MYSELF IF A BLUSHING MANTICORE BRIDE DRAGGED YOU BACK WITH A BOUNCING SCORPION-LION BABY ON YOUR HEAD!" "UWAAAAH! PLEASE, BIG SIS! LISTEN TO ME! I-I DIDN''T DO ANYTHING BAD! I-I DIDN''T TOMCAT, WHATEVER THAT IS! S-SO DON''T PULL ON MY NOSE ANYMORE! I-I LEARNED MY LESSON! I WON''T BE A BAD BOY ANYMOOOOOOORE! (T§ÕT)" ...All''s well that ends well... maybe. [V2--5th_Desires] - If I Were a Rich Half-Elf, Yubby-dibby-dibby-dibby-dibby-dibby-Dum :: Dear Diary¡­. If you had a million gold, what would you do? Maybe asking you this question might sound stupid, you are after all an Artificial Intelligence system that records what I say. It¡¯s not like you have the same needs like humans or¡ªHey! Ow! Stop, wh-why are you ripping my cheeks! P-pay attention to me, th-this isincredibly important! ::
¡°Hey, Nello. If we become super rich what would you like to do with the money?¡± ¡°Send it back to Stalingrad.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..All of it?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know. I keep hearing that¡¯s what soldiers do when they were out in the Eastern Front. They would save up money and put it in a letter to send it back to their family... Did I answer right?¡± ¡°¡­ No. That¡¯s now how it works here. Also, there is no advanced banking system that could transfer your cheque via a transmigration system.¡± ¡°¡­ Oh¡­ Then, I¡¯ll think of something else.¡± Pastrache nodded. She felt that her words alone would provide a decent amount of wisdom to her friend that day. It was important to plan for the future, and spending all of her hard earn gold would definitely lead into a major financial crisis that no economy could ever recover from¡­ ¡­ Sorry, too soon? ¡°¡­Sigh. If only pretty dresses made with products that don¡¯t make my skin turn into a puffy tomato weren¡¯t so expensive. Not even a Queen could save her pocket money after selecting three or four negligees, despite it being on sale these days.¡± ¡°¡­ What was that, Big Sis? I-I didn¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°Come on, tellme.What do you want to do when you get 1 million gold.¡± ¡°Aaaah. I-I¡¯m still thinking on that.¡± Pastrache looked down at her friend. It wasn¡¯t in a demeaning manner, neither was it to step on his confidence to raise herself with pride. Rather, she literally was sitting on his head while swinging her legs back and forth in front of his face, as if sitting in a child¡¯s swing. For those of you reading this for the first time ¨C no, Nello was not a Giant. Neither was he a certain two headed ogre with the head of a boy and a head of a princess that was all a rage these days. Simply put, Nello was a T-34 (ex)SovietTank. It made sense for a beautiful Half-Elf girl to sit on his head and swing her legs back and forth as if on a child¡¯s swing. The girl would watch as trees rolled past them as they continued down the road. In the distance was a large walled city made of iron, bricks, and some new material called stainless steel. It was a Capital city of this fantasy world and they were on their way in returning from their last job request. ¡°¡­Big Sis, I thought as hard as I can, but I don¡¯t know what I would do if I get 1 million gold... I-I haven''t even used one gold piece while I was still back in Stalingrad.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fine Nello. It¡¯s not like the last guild mission of slaying a harbor beast was going to rain gold coins from the sky or something. We barely earned enough for a decent rent in a shabby tavern with a food rating that even my Guild''s head chef would say ''oh my god''. Honestly, citizens these days are so cheap when they call on for a hero like us.¡± ¡°¡­¡­. Um¡­Was it because I accidentally blew up their ship with my nose?¡± ¡°N-no! O-of course not, Nello! Th-that Kraken was about to do all sorts of wicked things to my chaste body. Y-you only acted to protect me! I-it¡¯s not like we knew beforehand that the 20 legged sucker had a Dexterity of over 100 and a bonus Dodge Action! I-it''s definitely not your fault that the Kraken moved out of the way for your nose to rip through the harbour master''s favorite ship! Besides, he has 39 more of them, why should he punish us for sinking one!?" ¡°¡­.......I still feel bad.¡± ¡°P-please don¡¯t! It¡¯s really the perverted Kraken¡¯s fault that got us in trouble, okay? So please, don¡¯t feel so guilty.¡±
<< You used FAKE SYMPATHY on Nello. Dealt -1000 Emotional Damage. Super Effective. >>
<< Nello''s Spirit is now Prone. Anyone has Advantage over his Will Checks. >>
<< Your Relationship with Nello is -2%. You are now Chaotic Messed Up, please seek counselling. >>
"F*CK YOU NOTIFICATION SYSTEM! WHERE IN MY DIALOGUE HAVE I EVER SOUNDED INSINCERE! I''LL GUT YOU! I''LL DEFINITELY FILE A COMPLAINT TO WHATEVER INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY GODDESS THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PROGRAMMING, AND GUT YOU!!" "... ...Who... me?" "N-no, Nello. I love you. Here, let Big Sister give you a big warm hug!" ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Thank you Big Sis....... but Istill feel so useless¡­Sob.¡± ¡°Want some ice cream to cheer you up?¡± ¡°...What¡¯s ice cream?¡± ¡°Medium Price Gasoline it is.¡± ¡°Um¡­ Big Sis, I¡¯m grateful but¡­ my body can regenerate fuel if I rest so¡­ I don¡¯t want to waste your money.¡± ¡°Oh my god, Nello! I don¡¯t know if I should fall for you or berate you for not thinking more about yourself! Y-you¡¯re too kind hearted, even if you don¡¯t have the actual organ to pump blood!!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯m confused now.¡± ¡°J-just keep going straight, Nello. And avoid the pot holes, they hurt my butt.¡± ¡°Nn. Okay.¡± Nello the T-34 Tank nodded, by bobbing his 3 meter cannon up and down. The Half-Elf sitting on his head continued to swing her legs back and forth, all the while whistling a small song that sounded like ''If I Were a Rich Half-Elf'' (#Coincidence?). Somehow that melody alone was enough to recover her spirits left broken from the last job. The sky was bright and clear, so she would always end up staring into the deep blue yonder. And nothing much was happening at the time. The road had a couple of wagons that transported goods from one merchant town to another, as well as the usual small carriages that go from one place to another. Nowadays, public transportation had evolved to the point of creating large inter-city carriage busses, to make rides between one capital city to another more convenient. However, every driver and passenger could not help but stare at this giant metal creature that moved on two wide legs full of rolling metal plates, a head that could turn a full 360 degree, and one long nose that would move up and down to wave at them. One or two children in the inter-city carriage busses would often wave back. Maybe even draw Nello onto their notepad, then 10 years later before going to college they would recover this old notepad and reminisce at the memory of how they waved at a great big dragon!... ¡­Ah¡­ how great the youth can be¡­¡­Sob (TxT). ¡°Why are you crying, Nello?¡± ¡°Hmm? I wasn¡¯t crying. Are you?¡± ¡°¡­ No¡­Hah. Must be my imagination. *Sound of Bunny Narrator blowing her nose* ¡°¡­ By the way Nello. That question I asked before¡­ If we really did magically get 1 million gold to spend¡­ what do you want to buy with it?¡± ¡°Wh-what do I want?.........I-I don¡¯t get it Big Sis.¡± ¡°You know. Is there anything in particular you would like? With this amount of money, you could essentially get anything you want in this world.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± The T-34 Tank rose his cannon up into the sky at a 45 degree angle. From a distance, people would think it was calculating the angle of attack to shoot down a Junker 88A-11 Heavy German Bomber right out of the sky. When really, the gesture was exactly the same as anyone looking up at the ceiling while in deep thought. Body language can be fickle sometimes, especially if you¡¯re a tank. ¡°¡­Oh! I know! I know! I want to become a Petlyakov Pe-8!¡± ¡°What¡¯s that Nello? A fruit?¡± ¡°No, no! It¡¯s this super cool Russian Bomber with four big engines!¡±Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!
<< Accessing OTHER WORLD FILES for ''Travelling Reader'' ..................COMPL--HOLY SH*T >>
¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°Yeah, yeah! It¡¯s super big and it can fly way up high into the sky, even out of the range from enemy anti-air flak guns or land artillery! Why, no German Tank could ever jump up and bully me anymore! I would look so cool when I punch them back with bigger ordinances and no one will laugh at me!¡± ¡°¡­......Pfft.¡± ¡°Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis (TxT).¡± ¡°S-sorry. Th-the way you said it sounded too cute. But all in all, pffft, I don¡¯t know what a Bomber is, so I have no idea what you would look like in your evolved form. Also, there is no way something as big as you can fly in the sky with four large engines pulling on two flimsy wings. Even Dragons can¡¯t higher than 3000 ft in the sky, they get tired from how heavy they are.¡± ¡°B-but it¡¯s true! R-Russian Bombers are real! I-I¡¯m not making it up!¡± ¡°Yes, yes, yes. I believe you Nello. However, you¡¯re already super cute like this. I can¡¯t imagine you becoming scarier if you grow bigger like that. So, don¡¯t change Nello, ever.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Big Sis is still laughing at meeeeee (TxT)¡­¡± The cannon on the tank drooped down. It didn¡¯t lowered, it didn¡¯t adjust its attack angle to shoot a land mine right in front of it, it just dropped. Like *FWOOP* dropped. It even stuck into the ground by accident, the same way an Olympian would during the Pole Vault competition. ¡°NUWOOOH! N-NELLO! P-PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD! D-DON¡¯T FALL ASLEEP AND DRIVE AT THE SAME TIME! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, I''M FALLING!¡± ¡°Ah! S-sorry Big Sis! I-I didn¡¯t mean to¡ªTee-hee! Ah-haa! B-Big Sis, m-my nose tickles! L-let go!¡± ¡°I-I can¡¯t! I¡¯ll seriously hurt myself if I give up and let go right now. I''ll be bouncing off lots of layers on your iron body before I hit the ground, I don''t want to throw out my hips while I''m still young!¡± Due to the miscalculated Olympic pole vault, the Tank had bucked forward into an abrupt halt. It was hard enough to throw its one and only passenger on the turret head and into the air. As she had no seat belt, it was obvious where her trajectory would go. Even Dummies in Crash test know you always wear a seat belt, like come on Half-Elf Woman. ¡°Nnng! B-Big Sis, y-you¡¯re legs are ru-rubbing my noise in a weird way! I-it¡¯s super warm and feels funny.¡± ¡°P-please don¡¯t peak at my butt! J-just because I¡¯m wearing shorts doesn¡¯t mean you can look up at me! I-it¡¯s not like I wanted to be in this obscene angle. Nuwoooh! D-don''t move, Nello, I-I''m slipping!" To summarize, Pastrache could be found hanging by her arms and legs across Nello¡¯s 3 meter tank barrel. She clutched onto it with her shaking limbs, harder than a professional Koala certified by Australia. She could feel her gloved fingers already losing their grip. ¡°Set me down! Set me down!¡± ¡°O-oh okay. Going up! Hang on Big Sis!¡± "...U-up? W-wait---HYAAAGGGUUUUNN???!?"
<< Your Arousal Level has increased from 20% to 99%!! >>
<< You gained 1000 EXP for pipe swinging. Congratulations, your Pole Dancing Skills is now Level 5!!>>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Queen of Improvisation~ You used everyday items to increase your stats, especially the passionate ones. You go Girl?. ---
<< Special Title Unlocked: NAUGHTY ELF OF THE POLES. Please seek counselling. >>
¡°N...nyaaaahnnn?....I...I almost...Geh!? Nello! I-I said put me down, not pull me up! F**k! I-I''m sliding down like a firesaver! I-if this keeps up, m-my Pole Dancing Skill will continue to soar to new heights! I-I seriously don''t want the experience points for something this obscenely stupid! Put me down, put me down - PUT - ME - DOOOOOWN!! [>///<]" "...O-oh. Sorry Big Sis. I-I thought you wanted to grab at the crab shaped fruit in the tree while you at it. M-my bad." In the end, Pastrache was carefully lowered back to the ground, the same way a firefighter on a ladder would set the one they rescued on their feet. She punched close all of the notificationscreens that popped up around her with her tiny fists, as if the face of lecherous drunk men. After smashing ''exit'' on every screen that congratulated her on levelling up her ''profession'', she tried to calm down by straightening her clothing as well as her beloved side-tail. ¡°¡­ Hey Big Sis.¡± ¡°I¡¯m mad, Nello. Not ¡®I won¡¯t talk to you anymore'' mad but ¡®p*ssed¡¯. Please pay attention when driving.¡± ¡°Y-yes, I-I will but¡­ What does Big Sis want if she gets 1 million gold?¡± The fingers combing the blonde side-tail stopped. It wasn¡¯t because it got caught in a tangle or two. It just up and lost motivation to continue. A small lip twisted and bit itself. Not to entice a man. But to decide whether or not to shrug the question off with a ludicrous wish, or her honest desire. ¡°¡­ I¡­I would want a big house, with five rooms. A bright living room, a large kitchen and dining area, and three bathrooms...ah yes, and they must have both a standing shower and a bath, that can spit out magical jets of water to massage my body. Yes.¡± ¡°¡­Why Big Sis?¡± ¡°So I can move in with my mother, and get away from the town that hates us.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Being away from her as an Adventure is difficult. I often yearn for her warm touch, regardless of how painfully blunt shecan be in her attempts to groom my body to rival her own features. I really miss her cooking and I know she always wanted a big kitchen¡­ not like the tiny fireplace she uses to cook stew with.¡± ¡°¡­ Um¡­Why five rooms, if it¡¯s just you and mother?¡± ¡°Five rooms. One for me. One for mom. One for¡­ father, if he decided to come back all of a sudden---OR his reason for leaving us alone is properly justified.¡± "Wh-what do you mean by properly justified?" "Well several possible choices. One: he left home to make sure the people from his shady past don''t come after us; Two: the organization he left behind is calling on him again to save a king or queen and prevent another global conflict;Three: he''s this super impossible spy working for a classified government agency and is going about in saving the world from evil @ssholes....." ".....................................................Oh... What?" "Hmm. If he does come back based on those various hypothesis...should I throw my body into his arms like I did when I was only as tall as his knee?... Wait no... he''ll feel my bosom and start fantasizing in the wrong direction, like always. Mother would definitely pinch them." ¡°¡­....One...two...three...Um, won¡¯t there be two rooms left empty?¡± ¡°No. If father comes back and makes up with mother¡­ then they¡¯ll definitely''get it on'' and pop out a baby brother or sister. Knowing them sinceI was a child, it''s expected after many years in being apart they''ll get... passionately violent.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. Oh¡­ Okay¡­ Oh! I get it! Room number five is so they could store away their luggage, right?¡± ¡°No, silly. Room Number Five will be as big as the house. A room only for you!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Me?¡± The T-34 perked its cannon up into the sky. It was staring at the deep blue yonder, as if deep in thought. It was the same way when a man reflects on the hidden message of the woman he loves, contemplating on the nuances and the insinuation she was trying to eloquently tell him. A normal man would never be able to reach such deep answer in 10 years (#MenWorkerHarder)¡­ somehow, Nello picked up the message in less than a second. ¡°¡­.Heh!? A-a room for me? A-am I going to be Baby Brother number two!?¡± ¡°Yes! Of course, Nello! Although we¡¯ve only known each other for close to a month now, I already see you as part of my family. I wantto treat you as part of my kin! My mother might faint or start touching you in awkward places, but I know she¡¯ll accept you as if her own child.¡± ¡°¡­ But¡­ I¡¯m a Tank.¡± ¡°My mother isn¡¯t picky as to what pops out from her belly. Just look at me, I''m a Half-Breed and she doesn''t really give a sh*t. So long as I look pretty... Yes. Praise me.¡± Pastrache nodded. Heck, she even planted her tiny fist to her wide hips, puffing out her bosom with a send of pride. She felt that saying the words were not enough, she had to back it up with action. What better way than to give a firm nod to the T-34 Tank that sounded confused and unsure. ¡°Nello. From here on in, you are part of my family! The Mooneye Family! We¡¯ll become the richest and the strongest family there ever was! Heck, we¡¯ll knock down every other noble family in the world and sit on a throne of swords to rule then all! Nyaa-haa-haa!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Family?¡± Nello looked up at the sky in deep thought. Then he looked at the ground as if making a decision¡­only for the cannon to stare back up into the blue yonder to think over his decision¡­ Looking back down with a firm nod¡­¡­¡­¡­Back up one more time to really think it through. ¡°¡­Or¡­ perhaps¡­ Nello doesn¡¯t¡­ want to me my little bro¡ª¡° ¡°WAIT! I WANT TO BE BIG SIS¡¯S LITTLE BROTHER! LET ME¡ª¡± *BONK!*
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON on your Face. Dealt you -59 Bludgeoning and 0.5 Concussion Damage. >>
<< Your Status is now Prone: Enemies have Advantage over your Body. >>
--- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> Iron Skull You received so much damage to the head, you gained +2 DEFENSE against Head Shots. Congrats Bro.
¡°BUGYAAAGFFF!?¡± ¡°¡ªLOVE YOU¡ªAh¡­My nose.¡± In all the excitement, the moment the T-34 swung its turret head around to shake Pastrache¡¯s hand¡­ His 3 meter long 76 mm iron cannon barrel slapped into the side of the Half-Elf¡¯s face. Flop. Down she goes. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! B-BIG SIS! BIG SIS! I¡¯M SUPER SORRY! I DIDN¡¯T MEAN TO HIT YOU WITH MY NOOOOSE! P-PLEASE DON¡¯T DISOWN ME FROM YOUR FAMILY! N-NOT WHEN I JUST GOT IN!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.G¡­gufffgg¡­¡± As if to answer the frantic tank¡¯s voice, a feeble hand raised up to offer a thumbs up¡­ then flop, down it goes. ¡°BIG SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!¡± Don¡¯t worry Tovarisch, her health points are 0.5 above zero. She¡¯ll be fine.
<< Your Relationship with Nello is now 300%. Level 1 Maxed Out. Now Relationship Lv 2!! >>
<< CONGRATULATIONS! Nello is adopted into your Family. He receives same Kin Benefits from you. >>
----- <<__ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~We Are Family! OPA!~ You have Bonded with another Party Member in Familial Terms. A Mutual Love Greater than Steel.
[V2--6th_Understanding] - What is the Scent when Two Lilies Blossom on a Spring Morning? : Dear Diary¡­. I¡¯m bored. I¡¯ve been lazing around in the city for too long, I need to pick up a job for Nello and me to do Or else, I¡¯ll start taking ongoing psychological damage due to a negative Boredom Effect.Maybe, my life points could hit zero even while eating strawberry short cake¡­ I don¡¯t want that.Not only is strawberry shortcake declicious,it would be a tragedy if my body collapsed and fall face first with a splat. The last thing I want, is to go out with whip cream all over my face, neck, and cleavage... No one will bother to help wash it off, not even the horny girls in the guild. Sob. ::
¡°Hello, Miss Cogez. I would ike to take this job.¡± ¡°¡­I-I do! Let¡¯s elope!¡± ¡°¡­.What are you talking about? I would like to process this job and--What the f**k! Wh-who designed paper tacks in the form of a wedding ring!? Who, just f**king who!? Is this some new level of ''got punked''!?" ¡°H-heh!? Y-you mean th-that ring is fake!? A plague on the @sshole who...I-I mean. Let''s get a bed---COUGH! I-I meant, p-please give me your room number---D*MMIT! WHAT IS THE ID NUMBER OF THE MISSION YOU''RE TAKING!" "...Miss Dwarf Clerk, why are you screaming at me. I''m a Half-Elf, I can hear perfectly." "Ahem. Sorry, I have a cold. Cough." "..............." Pastrache tilted her head. Maybe it was because she didn¡¯t have a good night sleep while camping inside of Nello¡¯s stomach (crew compartment), and ended up lying in an awkward angle. So the muscles in one side of the neck were sore. Which is why she had her head turned in an odd angle, so there was no way should would have noticed the red hue on the Dwarf Clerk''s face.The Guild Receptionist was also breathing heavily for some reason, but the Half-Elf a magical fan mounted on the desk was blowing into her collarbone. Curioser and curioser. ¡°Miss Clerk, isn¡¯t it close to 2 degrees right now. The front knob was practically frozen, to the point where I had to kick the door open with my boot just to get inside. Is there any reason for turning on a fan right now?¡± ¡°¡­What fan?¡± The Half-Elf turned her body, as her neck was still sore. Lo and behold, there was no magic-powered fan on the counter top. Just a short 150 cm Dwarf Woman acting as the Guild Receptionist who sucked her lips in as it to ensure her inner whispers don¡¯t come out. ¡°¡­Miss Clerk. Are you alright? You look feverish.¡± ¡°You must be dehydrated to the point of becoming delirius, M-Miss Half-Elf. Please seek counseling at the nearest water cooler.¡± ¡°F**K! Wh-why does the world think I¡¯m this trouble teenager who ran away from home with a rebellious rage!? Do I look like a delinquent!?¡± ¡°(No. A goddess of hot passion.)¡± ¡°You¡¯re mumbling. You¡¯re making fun of me, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Again, go drink some water or your status will be affected. Hydration is important to keeping your hot body healthy¡­Cough.¡± ¡°How the h*ll am dehydrated when it¡¯s next to freezing out there!? I just walked into the guild to bask in the heating conditions just two seconds ago! Please, pay attention!!¡± The Dwarf Woman standing behind the receptionist desk gave a deep sigh. The first half was to relieve the standard stress in her job as the Guild Clerk. The second half was because how much frustration she felt bubbling in her chest every time her eyes wandered to the Half-Elf decorative buttons on her bosom. Maybe to calm herself, she was counting about how many buttons does it take to cover up the Adventurer¡¯s body every morning¡­and how many buttons does it take to free them during the night and¡ª ¡°Miss Clerk.¡± ¡°I-I wasn¡¯t staring at you, woman! I-I don''t swing that way!¡± ¡°No, no. I think I change my mind on this job request. I just noticed in super fine print that it requires all female participants to strip to their underwear for safety checks before meeting with the client. I will pass on this and find something else¡­Please burn this one.¡± ¡°¡­Right.¡± F**k¡­ Just¡­f**k. That was what the Dwarf Clerk was thinking right now. As the word itself was a two way street, it could either be a cuss or¡­¡­¡­¡­ The important thing to take note of is how troubled the Dwarf Woman was while she was tearing up the official job request papers that the Half-Elf handed to her.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. ¡­All the while resisting the urge to smell the corner of the papers to get a whiff of the perfume from the target of her affection. ¡°¡­Ah! N-no good! E-ever since I told my brother how I felt, I-I can¡¯t stop thinking about it. I haven¡¯t been able to sleep properly because my wild fantasies keeping me awake in my bed! D*mn it, I shouldn¡¯t have confessed to him!¡± For the record, for first time readers, the Dwarf Clerk told her brother how she felt, about a certain Half-Elf. No, she wasn¡¯t into sis-bro kind of fantasies. Nah, she¡¯s more girl-girl¡­f**k¡­ (#Proof:https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21953/nello-pastrache-2nd-the-reincarnation-story-of/chapter/325416/side-story-the-dwarf-little-sister-and-draenei) ¡°I-I can¡¯t tell her, I seriously cannot tell her tha-that I...that I''ve fallen for her and her hot features! That I want nothing more than to share a bed with her! F**k! I-I''m a woman! Not a desperate man like my brother! And he''s a Draenei blacksmith for crying out loud! N-no! I-I''m different, I''m a dwarf. I-I have to control my emotions...Pant pant pant...God-d*mn it, why do us non-human beinds have ridiculous libidos!?" ¡°Sorry. I came¡ª¡° ¡°GYGAGGFFFUU!?¡± ¡°¡ªback with another request. This one is about the Mandrake Infestation in the next town so it looks doable to¡­¡­Miss Clerk, please wipe that white stuff off your face! Even if it¡¯s just shredded paper, the men in this guild will still fantasize in the wrong direction!¡± ¡°¡­O-of course. I-I¡¯m not like those perverted @ssholes that I-I discipline everyday¡­Pfuuu¡­C-can you help me, I got some in my hair.¡± "Sigh. Why do I always have to take care of everyone''s messes??... Come on, show me your face." ".....Cough." The Dwarf Clerk turned red, but when she got startled and tossed the shredded paper bits into her face the moment Pastrache returned, her honest feelings were buried under the plastered confetti. Maybe it was from perspiring in being close to the target of her affection, that 99% ofsaid confetti was glued to her forehead, cheeks, and lips. As plucking off half-wet paper was difficult, especially when torn to the size of snowflakes, she leaned forward close enough for the Half-Elf to help pluck them off... For some reason, she can''t stop thinking about how the other girl''s breath smells of Lilac and Cinnamon...sh*t, the Dwarf was fantasizing again! C-change the atmosphere!! ¡°¡­Hey. Pointy ears." ¡°One second, you still got some white stuff on your lips.¡± ¡°Forget the papers on my mouth, I-I¡¯ll take care of it¡­ I¡¯m curious, are you with anyone right now?¡± ¡°Hmm? What do you mean?¡± ¡°Do you have a lov¡ªParty member>¡± ¡°Oh, yes I do. His name is Nello.¡± ¡°WHAAAT!?¡±
<< Dwarf Clerk used SCREECH. Your Defenses sharply dropped! >>
<< You received -100 Psychological Damage. Please seek counselling for your hearing. >>
Pastrache Mooneye jumped when she heard an unearthly scream. It was loud enough to force the windows shudder violently, as if being bashed by a heavy storm. Fortunately, they didn¡¯t shatter or else it would be a tragedy for everyone insides, especially the lady adventurers sitting at window seats in the food hall. ¡­God, the massacre to their faces, both natural and plastic¡ªOh God. Despite how loud it was, the sound came in a too quick of burst. It was even faster than a sonic boom left behind by a Jet flying at Mach 1. So Pastrache didn¡¯t realize it came from the Dwarf Clerk who had this stupified look on her face. A few of the shredded papers fell into her tongue and she spat it out like hair. ¡°Pffft. Pffft. N-Nello? Wh-who the h*ll is, Ptooo, Nello!? Y-you never mentioned him before!¡± ¡°Oh yes. Nello''s a real sweetheart. We''re best friends!" ¡°Chance.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Go on. Tell me every bit of his information so I can search him in our arcane profile system. Cough.¡± ¡°Oh, he¡¯s not a registered Adventurer like me. He¡¯s a partnerwho I work with in my recent Guild Missions.¡± ¡°¡­ Not registered? You do realize that¡¯s its extremely dangerous for an un-authorized Adventurer to take on job requests. You may remember signing forms in your initial contract about receiving health coverage and life insurance in case of an accident, that you would receive full benefits in case you got into a fatal circumstance, like being runned over by a dragon or dire rabbit.¡± ¡°¡­Was there such a segment in my contract? I thought I just had to sign on the X and then I get my Adventurer¡¯s License.¡± ¡°I said ¡®sign here¡¯ AFTER you finish reading the ENTIRE contract listing and understand what benefits and losses you will experience in case of an emergency or cruel incident! Please don¡¯t tell me your low Intelligence Score applies in real-life situations!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..You do realize the contract was as thick as my thigh.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care. The copy you signed is still in my desk drawer. Read it before you go on your next guild assignment.¡± ¡°¡­I got plans.¡± ¡°Yeah, with me. Now get back here you tramp!¡± ¡°THE ¨C F**K! HOW IS ESCAPING THROUGH THE FRONT DOORS FLAG ME AS A WOMAN WHO SPREADS HER LEGS TO ANY MAN OR WOMAN!?¡± ¡°I-I MEAN SCAMP! D*MN IT, STOP MESSING WITH MY MIND ALREADY YOU RIDICULOUSLY HOT HALF-ELF!! WHERE DID MY MACE GO!? I NEED TO DISCIPLINE YOU PROPERLY!¡± ¡°HELP! CLERK BRUATLITY! CLERK BRUTALITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!¡± [V2--7th_Truth] - The Half-Elf Girl Finally Comes Out of the Closet!!... About the Tank. Cough. :: Dear Diary..... I regret thinking I was bored. I ended up wasting my entire day in reading a contract as thick as my thigh AND arm. By the time I got to page 20 and reading the size nine acrylic font, my eyes burn. I don¡¯t know if I can see anything farther than 10 feet now ¨C and I have elven blood running in me!!¡­Sob. Ancestors, I¡¯m sorry. Being born as a Half-Elf has hurt your bloodlline, now this Dwarf Woman making me read three phone books in one sitting is removing my last shred of pride I have for you¡­Sob...F**K, DIARY WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING!? ::
<< You received ongoing -20 Psychological Damage. Your Intlligence Score has decreased by 2. >>
<< Your Mental Health has reached critical. Please take up another hobby and recover. >>
<< Your Reeding Speed has decreased from 100 Words / Minutes to10 Word / Hour. >>
¡°For Goddess sake, Pointy-Ears. Stop crying like a sullied woman and read. The next page is Division 525, Arrangement for Next of Kin in case of a Fatal Accident.¡± ¡°N¡­no more¡­ my eyes¡­ my hands¡­ my body¡­ even my lips¡­ th-they¡¯re worn and chapped¡­ l¡­let me go¡­ I¡­I want to see the light of day again¡­. M¡­my youuuuuuth (T§ÕT).¡± ¡°Oh buck up, little Elf. If you seriously read through the entire thing, you will be done before the next sun rise. Stop procrastinating.¡± The Dwarf Clerk clicked her tongue. She was taking time off from her duties as a Guild Receptionist in order to train a certain Half-Elf in the Art of Reading Fine Print. She had dragged her cute and sorry @ss into her ¡®private staff lounge¡¯ that was specifically her resting area for long work hours and longgraveyard shifts. The room was re-purposed so the Guild Clerk could also drag in any member of the Guild who have been misbehaving or acting especially rude to their own receptionist, and properly ¡®re-program them¡¯. So ignore the mace, the whip, the cat-o-nine flog and some questionable chains and leather straps, they¡¯re only for the bad boys and girls in the guild hall. However, due to a certain arrival of a certain Half-Elf girl, she re-re-purposed this rest / torture / discipline chamber into a make shift lecture room. A classic film projector was inside, but sitting in a corner right now. The Dwarf Clerk had clear her coffee table for Pastrache to collapse over it, the latter''s face buried in the bosom of a opened contract book. As mentioned, it was as thick as the Half-Elf¡¯s full thighs and an arm. ¡°No matter where you go, the rules and regulations for being an Adventurer are all the same. This format you¡¯ve signed can be found on the Ethereal Net Drive system. Heck, the Guild Manager downloaded this copy and has been using it ever since it was put into service 15 years ago¡­ There¡¯s very little ammendments to the contract, so reading the copy here is universally the same as any other Guild you would transfer to the future. Now finish it.¡± ¡°¡­I am finished. M-my body can¡¯t take it any more. M-my brain is splitting in places no woman should ever dream of splitting¡­ i-is my face melting in a weird way.¡± ¡°Not the way I want. There''s no buring lust at all.¡± ¡°.........Wh-What?¡± ¡°Read.¡±
<< Dwarf Clerk cast non-magical COMMAND on you.>>
<< You are forced to follow her instructions. Super Effective. >>
¡°Sob. Spare meeeeeeee..."¡± The Dwarf Clerk ignored the Half-Elf¡¯s whine, all the while sitting on another counter. She had the expression a school teacher would give to a child in detention, and she crossed her short legs the same way a dominatrix would to earn absolute obedience in the situation. The icing on the cake was the horsewhip she had in one hand, and tapping the leather flap end into her other palm. Even if the Half-Elf was two times her size, the fire of rebellion could never ignited under these circumstances. Like wet powder. Win the war before it starts. Genius (#SunTzuProud). ¡°¡­ Say, Elf.¡± ¡°Half-Elf¡­¡­..Somehow I wanted to say something cool to make myself feel better, but remembing I¡¯m half-blooded has only make me more depressed¡­Sob¡­¡± ¡°Stop crying on the pages. If you get them wet, I¡¯ll produce another copy for you to read, BEFORE you sign¡­From the beginning.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­..Sniff.¡± The Dwarf Clerk let out a long sigh. Something was troubling her, and it wasn¡¯t the fact that someone outside at the reception desk was hitting the bell over and over again to get some service. She simply ignored it, and looked at the Half-Girl resisting the urge to cry from reading her Adventuring contract. ¡°The friend, that you mentioned before. Nello was it? Why isn¡¯t he a registered Adventurer?¡± ¡°Hmm?... Oh, Nello. Right. Well, it¡¯s hard to say without spooking you¡­ rather, hard to say without convincing you I¡¯m not crazy.¡±You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. ¡°(If you take off your top three buttons, you have my undivided attention.)¡± ¡°¡­Sorry, I didn¡¯t hear you. You were mumbling again.¡± ¡°Try me. Cough.¡± Pastrache took a break from reading the nine point font of the contract she had opened like a phone book on the table. She stretched her arms above her head, which let her soft bosom puff out in the right direction. There were zero men inside the room of two woman, yet there was a pair of hungry eyes staring like a lion to a zebra. ¡°Nello is¡­ well¡­ he¡¯s not from our world.¡± ¡°Oh. Another Transmigrator? Honestly, I see them coming in like waves ever since our kingdom has opened up the Immigration Acts beyond the border of our reality. It''s because they keep miscalculating the true population of the nation that they''ve falsely estimated a sharp decline in birth rates. Knowing that they royal government are now dragging in horny humans from the Other World as a form of solution, just p*sses me off. Not every Elf, Dwarf, or lady monster wants to do it like rabbits!" ¡°Hmm. I agree. Humans can be nice, but 99% of them are justrat b@stards - especially the guys. If they don''t try and coerce you to become their ''love slave'' or ''harem concubine'' it''s definitely them taking advantage of you as a weapon when they go on a grand quest! Why just the other day, some @sshole human from the other world thought he was the Goddess''s chosen champion and forced me to join his team, and be his mate!" "What did you do?" "I kicked his @ss and dropped him in front of the Royal Constables." "Good call. Don''t let these humans from the other world get the best of us!" "Here, here!" On that... note, the Dwarf Clerk and Half-Elf Girl exchanged high fives... then the former shoved the latter''s face down to continue reading the contract. Looks like break was over, shrug. ¡°...Wait. Hold on for a second, Pointy Ears. If you say 99% of the otherwordly humans you meet are terrible or carrying perverted ideals... Why do you sound so familiar with this Nello person?" "Well. Nello is different. He''s really sweet. He even saved me from becoming a community wife for Dire Wolves. That should mean something, right?" "That''s just a front. You know he''s faking sweet innocence and being the hero in your messed up fantasies, just so he could lower your defenses. The moment he gets you drunk or forcefully drugs you with Dragon Whisker powder to render you completely vulnerable - he will ram you inside out until you''re nothing but a hot slobbering mess!" "................................Pfffft." ¡°I¡¯M SERIOUS! All HUMANS FROM THAT F**KING WORLD CALLED EARTH ARE NOTHING BUT DEVIANTS WHO WANT TO MAKE THEIR OWN HAREM! SO WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?¡± ¡°Pa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I-I¡¯m sorry! I-I¡¯m super sorry! B-but, but imagining Nello being evil and taking advantage of me¡­Pffffhaahahahaha! H-he¡¯s the type of person who feels incredibly guilty in running over a cockroach! Ha-ha-ha!¡± ¡°¡­R¡­running over? D-don¡¯t tell me¡­ He¡¯s a transmigrated Shape-shifting car?¡± ¡°No. Nello¡¯s a Tank from Stalingrad.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± The Dwarf Clerk didn¡¯t know what to say. The reality the two fantasical ladies could be found was different than the, ahem, ''Other World''. The idea of World War any number or advanced scientifice and digital technology did not exist in their field of reality. So it would make sense even a Dwarf Receptionship of an Adventuring Guild would not recognize what a ''tank'' was... ... Yet she had this awkward stare on her face. Awkward as in she suddenly left the table, went to her bookshelf, pulled out a large hand-carved wooden tablet, and showed it to the Half-Elf. The engravings of what looked like an awkward looking rhombus that was rolling on its side... ...A British MarkV Tank from World War 1.
<< Accessing COGEZ ROOM CAMERA for ''Travelling Reader''........................... COMPLETE >>
¡°So, a tank like this?¡± ¡°Hmm, no, no. He¡¯s much bigger than this puny guy. Uuuh, has thicker armor, looks more like a shoe box than a diamond, with a head sitting on top and can turn a full circle and one super long nose about¡­ this big.¡± Pastrache held up one hand to her maximum reach. She then fidgeted in her seat in an awkward angle, so she could raise her beautiful leg at maximum reach. Palm to sole, do the math. ¡°Just add one more of my leg to the measurement and that¡¯s how long his nose is.¡± ¡°........ Liar. You made that up.¡± ¡°SAYS THE WOMAN WHO PULLED OUT A DIAGRAM OF A RIDICULOUS LOOKING DIAMOND TOP!¡± ¡°THIS, IS THE REAL DEAL! I SAW THIS CREATURE WITH MY OWN EYES! IT FELL IN MY GRANDFATHER¡¯S VEGETABLE PATCH AND IT WAS ALL SMASHED UP AND SH*T WITH HOLES AND MUD!¡± ¡°OH YEAH! WELL HOW COME NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD ABOUT THIS PHENOMENON IN THE PAPERS, HAH!?¡± ¡°BECAUSE GRANDPAPPY BRONZEKILT REALIZED THE MUD FROM THE TANK WAS RICH WITH NEWFOUND NUTRIENTS, AND KEPT IT SECRET SO HE COULD WIN THE VEGETABLE GROWING COMPETITION!¡± ¡°THEN WHAT HAPPENED!?¡± ¡°THANKS TO THE MUD FROM THE TRANSMIGRATED CREATURE, HE WON THE GRAND PRIZE! 10 YEARS IN A ROW! IT PAID OFF HIS MORTGAGE, GRANDMAMMY CAME BACK TO HIM, AND HE FINALLY ENTERED RETIREMENT AT THE AGE OF 120!¡± ¡°WHY ARE WE YELLING OVER SOMETHING SO STUPID!?¡± ¡°BECAUSE MY OFFICE IS RIGHT BEHIND A D*MN KITCEHN AND IT¡¯S THE LUNCH HOUR RUSH! THE KITCHEN IS SHORT-STAFFED AGAIN AND IT¡¯S ALWAYS A BATTLE ZONE BETWEEN THE CHEF, THE SOUS CHEF, AND THE WAITING STAFF! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE HEAD CHEF SHOUTS RED TEAM, BLUE TEAM, AND DONKY ALL DAY LONG! NOW GO DRINK SOME WATER!¡± ¡°DON¡¯T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU¡¯RE NOT MY MOTHER!¡± ¡°I¡¯M SERIOUS! WITH THE KITCHEN RUNNING AT FULL HEAT, IT WILL INCREASE THE TEMPERATURE IN THIS STUFFY ROOM! STAY HYDRATED OR WE¡¯LL BOTH SERIOUSLY BECOME DELIRIOUS!¡± ¡°¡­..F**K THIS!¡± ¡°WHAT?¡± ¡°I SAID F**K THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!¡±
<>
¡°Oh! Big Sis is back! I-I was so worried that you didn¡¯t show up when the sun came down and is rising back up! H-how did it go? Did we get a new job?¡± ¡°¡­¡­..F**k¡­¡± ¡°How come Big Sis sounds like a sick frog?¡± ".........F**k..." [V2--8th_Horror] - Entering the Belly of the Beast, But Who is the True Monster? :: Dear Diary¡­ I never thought of myself as a dangerous person¡­ No. I meant as in someone who doesn¡¯t live a dangerous life¡ªSo stop avoiding me and record my voice properly!! Geez. As I was saying I¡¯m not the type of person who would jump off a building just to post my actions onto the Ethereal Messaging system for everyone to see to get a lot of views. Neither am I that slutty to wear showy clothing with ridiculous cuts low enough to show even the most intimate shapes of my breasts so I could get more... what was it called? Followers?...Anyway, the point is: I''m not a daring person... yet I don''t knowwhy I took a job that involves me fighting wolves¡­ worse, it was mating season---GET BACK HERE DIARY, IT''S NOT LIKE I''M ASKING YOU TO BE MY MEAT SHIELD!! STOP - RUNNIIIIIING! ::
<< You have entered the Forest of Arizonafall. Location recorded to your Map. >>
<< WARNING: You are surrounded by 20+ Enemy Units. What do you do?? >>
<< You have Disadvantage in Attack Checks, Dodge Checks, and Persuasion Checks. >>
"¡­Nello¡­If any one of these f**kers move so much as a tail, you shoot him.¡± ¡°¡­ Um¡­ Big Sis, I can¡¯t shoot a dog. And look! They¡¯re so talented, they can stand up like a person!¡± ¡°THERE NOT DOGS! YOU¡¯RE FROM THAT ALTERNATE WORLD CALLED EARTH, SURELY YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF SOMETHING LIKE A WEREWOLF!¡± ¡°¡­What¡¯s a Werewolf?¡± Nello the T-34 Tank turned his turrent head left and right. Even when he was asked to arm a high-velocity artillery shell into his 76 mm cannon, he did not fire. Regardless if they were surrounded by enemies in a 3 meter radius or even 10 meter radius, he didn¡¯t have the heart to shoot. Instead, he felt conflicted. Because he somehow admired the humanoid creatures covered in silver and grey fur, bulking with thick muscles. If Magic Mike were a casting for fantasy creature based performance ¨C these guys would get the roles, hands down¡­ sorry ladies, was that too much? These Werewolves were interesting¡­ that is why Nello was confused as to why the Half-Elf Girl Pastrache had armed her Mosin-Nagant Rifle and was rapidly pointing at each of them in a random circle. Eyes wide like deers in a head light¡­ or, sheep to a butcher house¡­ which ever sells the point across. ¡°Big Sis, why are you sweating? They¡¯re not going to bite. Look, the one that looks like a girl is waving at me.¡± ¡°No! D-don¡¯t be tricked by their innocent nature! Th-they may look like big fluffy dogs that would roll over on their backs to let you scratch their bellies ¨C but once you lower your guard, they will grab you, rip your clothes off and mess with your body in so many unworldly positions that no girl could ever recover!!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.What?¡± ¡°SHOOT THE FLUFFY F**KERS!¡± Pastrache said those words with the ferocity of a lab rat. This narrator would often compare such pathetic attempts of intimidation with an angry hamster, but the Half-Elf took the whole ¡®scared sh*tless* up to eleven+1. With a finger shivering on the trigger harder than a caterpillar climbing up a pipe, eyes as beady as an octopus ready to vomit black ink to escape, and knees chattering harder than a Vickers Machine gun, she was screwed. ¡°OH GOD! TH-THAT GIRL WOLF JUST LOOKED MY CROTCH WHILE LICKING HER LIPS! SH-SHE¡¯S GOING TO EAT ME IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!¡± ¡°¡­Dogs don¡¯t eat people. They eat dog food. It¡¯s safe that way.¡± ¡°NELLO! HOW MESSED UP IS YOUR WORLD TO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF DOG EAT DOG WORLD!?¡±Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°¡­Ah. I¡¯ve heard of that phrase¡­ But what does it mean, Big Sis??¡± ¡°SHOOT THEM! TURN THEM INTO BEE HIVES! A-AND ESPECIALLY PUMP HOLES INTO THAT LECHEROUS WOLF WOMAN WHO WON''T STOP SOLICITING ME!!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.But that would be very mean.¡± ¡°NELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!¡± The T-34 flinched his cannon when the Half-Elf squealed like a Jellyfish¡­ how is that possible or how does it even sound like was simple. Touch the jellyfish''s tentalces with barehands, and you will automatically scream for it. Viola, math helps. The Soviet Tank would rotate its turret head. Even when they were in a dense forest with hundreds of trees painted with moss and vines in every direction, he still could see clearly through small slithers of light peeking through the cracks of the overhead coverage. He counted about 20 Werewolves, maybe even another 10 more if the shadows in the background weren¡¯t tree stumps or rocks placed in strategic locations. The DT Machine gun in his turret head wiggled to look left and right, ¡®staring¡¯ at each of these Werewolves like an eye would. "...Um... Hello, little girl...Oh? You want to touch my nose...Um...J-just d-don''t pull on it, okay?" "NELLO! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TALKING TO STRANGERS! ESPECIALLY IF THEY''RE OF LYCAN BLOOD! THAT PUPPY GIRL MAY BE SMILING LIKE A CHILD, BUT SHE WILL TEAR OPEN YOUR GUTS AND SPILL YOUR BLACK BLOOD ALL OVER THE GROUND!!" "... But I''m made of iron... won''t that hurt her hands?" "NELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (TxT)..." The anti-infantry weapon onboard the T-34 Tank had a maximum of 60 rounds per clip (per recharge for Nello¡¯s new body). A maximum effective range of 800 meters and capable of shooting 550 rpm with a muzzle velocity of 840 meter / second, there was no way even hardy (read: ripped) Werewolves could survive this one sided massacre. Yet the Tank named Nello did not open fire as ordered by his friend, the frantic Half-Elf. Instead, he used a more direct approach. He rolled over to them... his pace not even close to ramming speed. ¡°Oh! Is that for me!? I-it¡¯s so lovely! Uwaaah! And it smells nice too!¡± ¡°D*MN IT, NELLO! THEY¡¯RE THE ENEMY! NOT NATIVES WELCOMING A TOURIST ON A PARADISE ISLAND! GET THAT FLOWER FLAUREL AWAY FROM YOUR NOSE! NOW!¡± No, Nello wasn¡¯t cruel and bulldozed everyone over under his tracks. Nyet, nyet, nyet. Instead, he just rolled his wheels up close to one excited looking Werewolf girl who had been waving and staring at him in awe the entire time. When he came up close, she offered up this lovely ring of colorful orchid, with a snow white body that cascaed into a myriad of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and pink. Almost like a Rainbow-colored Aloha Flower. "Th-thank you so much, little girl! I-it''s so prett--"
<< You used SLAP on the Ring of Flowers. You knocked it Prone, you have Advantage over its body. >>
<< WARNING: Your Alignment went from Chaotic Messed-Up to Chaotic ''D***mn Girl'' >>
<< Werewolf Girl Level 5 is stricken with God-Fearing Horror. Please seriously seek counselling. >>
Just as this ¡®lei¡¯ of flowers made by the Werewolf Girl hung up around Nello¡¯s cannon ¨C Pastrache darted to intercept the exchange and slapped it off. It was as if she was trying to knock an arrow out of the air from hurting her precious friend. ¡°YOU! WOLF GIRL! DON¡¯T YOU EVER, EVER, EVEEEEEER SEDUCE MY NELLO! GET OUT!¡± ¡°¡­Um¡­She wasn¡¯t seducing me, Big Sis¡­What¡¯s seducing?¡± The Half-Elf stood her ground against the enemy, forcing one opponent to flee crying. She wasn¡¯t proud, rather she felt like she should shoot something to make sure everyone understood not to mess with her. If legends were true, Werewolves were territorial and they would automatically consider any intruders as enemies. If the legends were even more true, men were gut and hung from the trees by their entrails. Women were¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. well, were solutions to solve their declining birth rates. That was the kind of ending Pastrache wanted to avoid. ¡°¡­¡­¡­..Big Sis they look like nice people, could I play with them?¡± ¡°NO!¡±
<< You used HARPY SCREECH. The Defence of all Units around you sharply fell >>
<< You are still surrounded by 20+ Enemies. What do you do?? >>
[VALENTINE SIDE QUEST] - Lets Get Started!! Time to Dress up a Tank for a Valentines Parade!
<< You used SLATHER on Nello. You dealt 0 Physical Damage, and -100 Psychological Damage >>
<< Nello''s Status is Uncomfortable: He has disadvantage on Dexterity Saves. >>
<< Please stop attacking your friend and seek out counselling. >>
¡°¡­ Um.. Big Sis¡­Wh-what are you doing to my body?¡± ¡°Ssssh. Nello, Don¡¯t move. If you so much as flinch, it will ruin the mood and the atmosphere. This has to be done right!¡± ¡°¡­Why are you covering my body with sticky paint? A-are you giving me a new camoflouge pattern?" ¡°C-Camoflouge? No, Nello. We¡¯re not going to war! I want us to join the St. V Day Parade!¡± Nello didn¡¯t understand. Since the morning to the zenith in the afternoon, he had been sitting on one place across the edge of the Lake House. To be clear, the location he was parked on was the bank of a large round lake. There were no house in sigh, only trees walling off one side of the lake. Not even so much as a summer log cabin with a dog-prints on the front porch and an old mailbox with those classic red flags that go up and down every now and then... Cough. As this particular spot outside of the city was common for Nello and his close friend to lounge about in between their adventures... let''s call it the Lake House. It rolls off the tongue easier than ''the spot next to large round lake with wall trees, don''t you think?
¡°¡­St¡­V¡­Day?...V-Day¡­Oh! Do you mean D-Day? I¡¯ve heard about it from the Russian soldiers I used to be with back in Stalingrad. Yeah, they were talking of a rumor about the Allies conducting a super secret invasion on the Normandy and Juno Beaches, so they can fight the mean Germans back to their home tuf! A-am I right, Big Sis?¡± ¡°¡­ Nello¡­ I think we''re thinking about two completely different ideas. Are you sure you didn''t hear me slur my words?¡± ¡°U-um. Th-that''s just what the other Russian Soldiers kept saying to each other when they were on a break from standing guard on the front lines... D-did I say something wrong?" ¡°Of course! St. V day isn¡¯t about celebrating violence and warfare! It¡¯s a day to commemorate Love, Relationsihp, and Fidelity! It¡¯s a day designated by the Goddes of Love and Intimacy herself, St. Vis D''Carmen!! ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Victoria Day?¡± ¡°N-noooo! V! The letter V! And V onlyyyyy!¡± Pastrache was excited. She spend the entire morning and most of the afternoon painting. She was in the mood to buy some fancy looking color buckets, pre-mixed with sparkly dust and a cr*p ton of glitter. The Half-Elf could be found painting her friend¡¯s body from the head to his iron tracks. ¡­ For those of you reading this for the first time, on your phones, tablets, or faithful computers¡­ Nello is a T-34 Russian Tank. Although he is not a real boy, he sounds like a young child who didn¡¯t understand the world, but was forced to be born and fight in a battle during World War 2. FYI. To summarize, Pastrache was coloring Nello with all shades of glittering pink paint over his trurret, the sides of his armor, as well as the metal covering his tracks. She also bought a baskter of ready-to-use bow times she would stick on edges of the Tank¡¯s body with glue.
<< You used SLATHER on Nello. You dealt him 0 Physical Damage, and -200 Psychic Damage. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Beautiful Backstabber~ You''ve betrayed your comrades with a smile. Evil Woman Walking Down the Street. -----
<< Please cease all hostility to your party members. >>
¡°¡­ Big Sis. Th-the sticky stuff you¡¯repasting the bowties on my legs, they smell weird. I-it smells like a fish¡­Am I going to rust?¡± ¡°Of course not! I would never do that to my little brother (#ObviouslyNotBloodRelated)! This is fish glue, and super expensive! This can make any two pieces of poster paper or objects stick together as if they were borned as conjoined twins¡­¡± ¡°¡­ The smell is making me feel sick.¡± ¡°Please bear with me. I could have gone with the scentless horse glue that¡¯s all a rage in the arts and craft world, but just half a bottle, I repeat, half a bottle will bankrupt me¡­ Please endure, Nello. Once the fish glue dries out you won¡¯t smell anything but blueberries... Cough." ¡°¡­..Uuuuuh. My tummy feels weird.¡± ¡°D-don¡¯t you dare vomit over me! I-I don¡¯t want to be covered in black tar right before the St. V Parade of Floating Love! P-people will mistaken me as someone posing as the Festival¡¯s Mistress in a love affair! They will definitely go gung-ho and tar and feather me with all their netorare-hatred! I-I¡¯m not the kind of girl who steals her friend¡¯s boyfriend!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­.Huuurk.¡± ¡°O-oh I¡¯m sorry Nello. I¡¯ll stop using it now and give you a break.¡± Pastrache frowned, but she didn¡¯t carry the expression on her face for long. It would be disrespectful to Nello¡¯s feeling, especially when she saw his 3 meter cannon starting drop inch by inch to the ground. Like a wilting flower. The Half-Elf gave the T-34 tank a couple of pats to his front armor, which slowed down the descent of his cannon from touching the dirt in depression. ¡°¡­ Big Sis. How come we¡¯re going into a parade? You always want me to stay outside of the city whenever you go in and get money from your Guild, or buy something¡­ Why are you bringing me inside now?¡± ¡°Because, Nello, the one thing I love about St. V day is the Parade! Every year, I would always beg my mother to take me to see the massive floats of love and passion every day! I knew when I was only as high as her knee, I want to make a float of my own one day! Now that I''m a big girl with some pocket money, this is my chance to make that dream a reality!¡± "... Um... I-I was already made in a factory in Russia... I-I don''t think you can re-make me again. So why do you need me to help you? I-I don''t even have hands." ¡°I realize, of course, how ridiculously expensive and time-consuming building a real float would cost me. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of safety and regulations limiting my freedom in terms of overall design. H-have you seen their rulebook? It¡¯s even thick than my two thighs! B-but I don¡¯t want to give up so easily.¡± ¡°¡­Is that why you¡¯re painting me with sticky pink camoflouge and pasting bowties on my armor?¡± "Cough. Th-that is one of the many noble reasons why I''m volunteering you to¡ªNELLO! DON''T BE A SCAREDY CAT! STOP ROLLING AWAY AND GET BACK OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO TO MY SMILEY FACE, IT''S SMILING LIKE IT''S SMILING LIKE A LOAN SHARK!"
Pastrache clicked her tongue loudly, which was enough to make the 23 ton Russian Tank stop going in reverse and crawl his way back to his original spot in the grass. Althouth Nello was turning his tank turret left and right to show how much he was uncomfortable with this game of dress up¡­ he did the smart things that other men should learn in their youth.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Give up and listen to the lady¡­ALWAYS. ¡°¡­Sob.¡± ¡°O-oh come on, now Nello. Th-think about it! Th-there¡¯s going to be a prize awarded to the best float in the parade! I-if we win, why, I-I can buy you all the ice cream you want! 150 flavors worth!¡± ¡°¡­. I can¡¯t eat ice cream¡­ sniff.¡± ¡°Th-then, I¡¯ll buy you all the pet cats and puppies you want! All 101 of them!¡± ¡°¡­ They pee on my head¡­ I don¡¯t want it.¡± ¡°A monster girl servant, perhaps? I-I heard Transmigrated People from your universe would kill to get a girl fauning over them like a maid to a king.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.I don¡¯t want it.¡± ¡°O-oh please, Nello! Work with me! The parade will start in about an hour and I¡¯m still halfway in finish my decorations! Aaaagh!! Fine! I promise once the show is over and I have fulfill my childhood dream, I¡¯ll properly give you a bubble bath and wash off all the colors from your body!¡± Despite all the offers that a king would give up half his kingdom in acquiring, especially another half of whatever was left from the first slice just for the monster girl pet, Nello didn¡¯t seem to be satisfied with those lovely choices. The only thing Pastrache could see was how low the cannon drooped¡­ to the point where it dug into the dirt like an ostrich¡¯s head. ¡°¡­ I¡¯m sorry Nello. I should have asked for permission before I started painting.¡± ¡°W-will this come off? I-I mean, I want to make you happy Big Sis, b-but, but¡­ If there are other tanks in this world that see me, they¡¯ll all laugh! Th-they¡¯re think I¡¯m a girl tank! I-I''m a boy!!... Sort of.¡± ¡°I-I assure you, there are no other tanks like you, or any tanks that exist in my world other than you! So-so, no one will laugh¡­ N¡­.not even¡­b¡­big sister¡­..cough¡­pffft.¡± ¡°¡­.. Big Sis is being mean to me! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaah!¡± ¡°Nuwoooh!? D-don¡¯t cry, Nello! I-I, pfft, didn¡¯t mean to laugh. I-I was being serious about the whole fulfilling my childhood dreams! Pfffft--F**k!¡± The Half-Elf felt at a lost as she started to hear her tank friend making wailing sounds.Although she knew there was no one inside of his crew compartment he called his belly, she was positive that the voice projecting from his armor was alive and intelligent¡­ if not weak of heart. Somehow, she felt like the villain in this messed up sibling situation. Her mother would be so disappointed in her. "F**k. I-I can already hear her voice telling me how much I messed up and how I''ll never marry a guy if I keep up this attitude... Just... f**k." "...Sniff...Sniff..." "..............Say Nello. What dreams did you have when you were a young boy¡­ I mean, tank?... B...baby tank?¡± ¡°Sniff. I-I don¡¯t know¡­ The first day after I was produced from the factory, I was rolled out with 1000 of my tank brothers to the frontllines during the Battle of Stalingrad. Five days later, I was punched in the face by a German Tiger Tank, sniff¡­ then some pretty lady with scary eyes dropped me into your world¡­ I-I don¡¯t think I had time to think about anything other than not get shot at.¡± ¡°But, have you, you know... Always wanted to be something else in life? Other than a weapon, or tool of destruction that is." "... Um... I-I think... I want to be a real boy. A boy who has to hands and feet where I can actually run down the road without crushing anything. Oh, maybe I can finally climb up a mountain without flopping on my back, that''s no fun... A-and... If I really became a boy, I-I would like to try painting, of people I meet and the beautiful scenes I would see in your world... Oh! I-I really want a dog too! Not the type that pees on my head though." "BICHUU!" "Oh! Big Sis sneezed.. is that agood sign?¡± ¡°Guuugh. I-I think I stayed up too late last night, thinking about the possible designs I would paint on your body for the Love and Passion Parade. I might have caught a cold. Sniff.¡± In the end, the Half-Elf let out a sign and patted her hand across the front armor of the T-34 Tank. As if realizing that she was not using his body for her own personal agenda, the turret tank lowered the barrel of his anti-infantry gun at her head. Please note, that was his ¡®eye¡¯.
"Big Sis, are you sad? W-was it something I said? I-I''m sorry." "No, no, no. Nello. You''re not the one at fault. You''re too cute to be a bad boy... I''m the one causing problems for you. I wasn''t considerate of yoru feelings and I was dragging you along on a whim... Since you''re not comfortable in going to parade, let''s stop here and have a nap." "O-oh um, Big Sis, I want to go but... I can''t." "Hmm? What do you mean, Nello? Is it the paint I''m using that''s making you feel conscious... You''re right, if I tilt my head the right way, you really do look like a poorly dressed little tank girl. There aren''t any other boy tanks here other than you, but even then the people watching the Parade my laugh at my cr*ppy penmanship. I''ll get you another color." "I don''t want to cause you trouble, that''s why I''m scared of going." "Scared? Why?" "Because I''m too big... I''ll break things." Somehow, the words from the child-like voice of the T-34 Tank struck something inside of Pastrache''s heart. She took several steps back from the tank, not out of fear or to admire her handiwork with the paint job she applied to his armor. ... Nello was right? He''s big. Not like fat, husky, or D*****MN. He was 2.45 Meters tall and 3 meters wide. If he turned on the spot, he would rotate his length to reveal a full 6.5 meters. He was specifically designed to be able to march down an empty street or road in a city... But since such city was turned into a reckless battlefield, the designers woud not really care if such tank were to turn and break sh*t around them. Besides, swinging the hind tail to plow through a toy store would not scratch the anti-impact armor on Nello''s body. It was in this moment that the Half-Elf realized how senstive and self-conscious he was of his size... He could easily run over a small animal or drunken sod under his 2.3 ton tracks without even realizing why he kept hearing squealing sounds. "The only reason Big Sis kept me waiting outside of the city, is because the gates are too small. IfI walk in now, I''ll break a lot of things. I-I don''t want to become a bad boy and get Big Sis in trouble." "N-Nello...Th-this whole time... you''ve been worried about destroying things inside of the city just because of your size. Wh-why didn''t you tell me in the beginning?" "... I... I was scared... that Big Sis will call me fat." "Never!" "Really?" "Of course I won''t ever call you fat! No, you''re............fluffy!" "...What''s the difference?" "To others, you look like marching golem with a nose that can shoot fire and eyes that could stare someone down and turn them into Swiss Cheese. To me, you''ll always be this bigand lovable fluffy guard dog that will protect my tiny 24/7! Yes!!"
<< Accessing Pastrache''s POV...................... COMPL---N-Nello!? >>
"... Isn''t that still fat?" "No, Nello, you weren''t paying attention to how much I love you." "Uuuh... I wish I was born smaller..." The Tank let out a low moan as he flopped his 3 meter long barrel into the ground. It was hard to tell since he had no face, but it truly felt like he was depressed over his build. Somewhere in his ''brain'' he planned on going on a strict no fuel diet... Oh poor kid, he can''t eat anything and he''s already restricting his intake. "Come on, Nello, don''t be like this. You don''t have to worry about breaking open any gates today! Because of the festival, the city is opening a special entrance to allow Floats and Carnival Rides to enter from other towns and capital cities, so you''ll fit right in. All I have to do is finish up your lovely disguise and we can march right in with the others! I-it will be fun!!" "B-but what happens if I turn? Won''t I knock out other people with big wagons, or, or drive my nose into a building?" "... W-with some rehearsals before hand, I-I know you can avoid even a little cat should it jump into the middle of the road!" "What happens if I sneeze?" "Oh good lord the massacre..." "... I''ll stay here... you go and have fun Big Sis." "NO! You''re coming WITH ME, Nello!" "Gug! D-don''t pull on my nose, i-it huuuuurts!" Regardless of the sheer difference in body mass, Pastrache started to pull on the T-34 Tank by the muzzle of his cannon barrel. Of course there was no way all that heaving and hoing would budge a vehicle that weighed about 2.3 tons, but think of it this was. In spirit, Nello was like a boy. It would make sense for boy being dragged by his older sister to lose balance, and lose to the sheer difference in strength between siblings. Hence, the Half-Elf miraculously dragging the Russian Tank inch by inch. "We''re going to go into town and have fun! I''ll fufill my childhood dream and you get to walk around in the city without people throwing rocks at you like the ungrateful Halflings! People will love you! There will be couples who want to hit it off on this St. V day and would write their names together under an umbrella rune on your body for good luck! You will laugh, you will giggle, you - will - have - a great time?" "... You really want someone like me to follow you? Even when I''m really fat?" "You - are - not - fat - Nello! You - are - fluffy! Fluffy!" "................Okay! I''ll do it! Let''s go into the parade! Onward, There''s No Land Behind the Volga!" "That''s the spirit--NELLO! W-WAIT! WAIT UNTIL BIG SIS IS STANDING AWAY FROM YOUR TRACKS! NUWOOOH! IF YOU SUDDENLY RUN LIKE THAT, YOU''LL RUN ME OVER! WAAAAAIIIIIT!" Without any further mishap, the Half-Elf and T-34 Tank entered the grand St. V Day Parade of Love, Passion, and Relationship. RUmors of a cute looking armored wagon with an adorable pink suit and a long pointy moustache with a monocole was the talk of the town. In the end, the first prize went to one float that displaed a beautiful Greco Goddess of Love in a gravure pose. Second price, the cute wagon with the pink suit and pointy moustache. "...What the f**k... WHAT THE F**K!? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD PASS OUT SKIMPY LINGERIE THAT''S BEYOND EROTIC WITH STRINGS THAT BARELY COVER ANYTHING! E-EVEN THE THREE CORNER OF CLOTH ISN''T ENOUGH TO COVER THE TIP OF MY PINKY FINGER! WH-WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS!? "Ooooh! Look Big Sis! The cloth your hold is super cool! It has two light bulbs flashing on them!" "N-NELLO! D-DON''T LOOK! TH-THIS IS NO SIGHT FOR AN INNOCENT CHILD TANK TO SEE! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAAAAAAYYYYYY!" Happy Valen¡ªI mean St. V Day everyone~?!
[V2--9th_Offer] - What the Half-Elf has to Offer for a Lycan Tribe. Howgh. :: Dear Diary¡­ I never liked Werewolves. I¡¯m more of a Vampire fan girl myself. It''s not because they are the Vampire''s natural enemy since the dawn of time, that''s not the reason why I dislike beastfolk like them. It¡¯s¡­ how should I put it, without being called an @ss... Stories about how they''re extremly violent to random people on the road, or kidnapping innocent sheeps for breakfast, lunch, and dinner plays a factor to my ill will towards them, what really makes me wet my pants every now and then... Is the rumor of how ''wild'' they can be during mating season... I heard they have a preference for girls with pointy ears and bodies without a speck of fur... Today, I feel like I''m f*cked... N-not literally, I hope... Gulp. ::
<< Chieftain of the Lycan Tribe has offered you a Job Request >>
<< Will you Accept the Mission Offer (Y/N)? >> => ........................... ........................ ........................ ........................ ... What is your final answer?
"Sorry, but I don''t trust you right now." ¡°Like I said, Miss Adventurer. We seek your help in fighting the Vampires. We mean no ill will against you or your kind whatsoever.¡± "I have no doubt you have peaceful intentions, but would you at least repeat that sincere comment without staring at my bosom? Please?" "... Sorry. It''s been a while since my pack mate is one with the Great Hound Spirits in the sky... Even to this day, I still miss her." "Staring at another woman with hungry eyesis still considered adultery. Do your wife a favor and look at my face instead." Pastrache clicked her tongue. What she thought was an all out assault delivered by a pack of Werewolves turned out to be some sort of misunderstanding. To her surprise, the 10 or 20 warriors and villagers were greeting her and Nello into their tribe. She even felt the weight of their consideration and open-hearts around her neck, all 10 rings worth of hand-knit flowers. As much as she liked the smell they gave off, being that of honey and lilac, she would politely turn down more offerings. Not only was it attracting bees to bite her chaste flesh, any more and thecombined mass will snap her neck in three places. That would be bad for business, don''t you agree. "...Mr. Chieftain sir. You''re still staring at my breasts. Is there a need to even squint?" "Do not misunderstabd, my eyes aren''t as sharp as they use to be during my young and reckless days as a Lycan pup. I''m also starting to lose my memory hear and there, so my Guardians would help to write down your name onto a leather tag so I could read it... But d*mn, when will they ever improve their handwriting, their claws keep smudging up the vowels... What does it say... P...Pas...Pis...Pizza....Piston?" "No. It''s Pastrache. No, you can''t call me Pasta as a pet name. I hate that." ¡°Please forgive me, I wish I could buy presecription glasses from the city. Alas, my entire tribe are surviving off whatever Mother World has to offer in her nature so we don''t make much money to survive like you do. If I truly indule myself in such a leisure, my selfishness would surely bankrupt my people... I don''t want that." "I honestly don''t know if I should feel sorry for you, or slap you. Please keep your tail in check and stop making it lick my hips. I''m not a beastman like you, so that kind of erotic play just turns me off." Pastrache the Half-Elf could be found in the middle of an open camp. It was an areawithin the forest rangethat provided space for a series of sharp prism-like tents and cone-shaped tepees sitting on soft compacted earth. In the center looked like a gathering place, decorated with an active campfire about 5 meters in diameter and guarded by finely polished rocks. The hearth of any decent native tribe, with healthy flames dancing like fairies curious of the world around them
"...Mr. Chieftain. I told you my name. So why are you still squinting at my bosom as if you want to see the fine lines of my cleavage. I''m starting to feel very uncomfortable." "I forgot your name. I''m still trying to read the bad hand writing on your label." "Pastrache! My name is Pastrache! H-how hard is it to remember a simple name like that!?" The Half-Elf could be sitting before what seemed to be the largest tent in the community. Right in front of her, with a mopey looking face and a superbly wrinkled complexion, was a St. Bernard. Kid you not, the one she was talking to was a man-shaped St. Bernard Werewolf. He looked so old, he could be getting a pension next month. If only he knew what RRSP was... you know, Registered Retired Savings Plan... For the record, his name was not Beethoven. He didn''t look anything like a certain composer who was well known for his raging composition and world changing music like Ode to Joy. Nyet. ... On the other hand, if this narrator were to try and pronounce his natural name in his tribal tongue, this narrator would surely bite her tongue. "Ahem. Let us return to the mater at hand. I''m calling upon an Adventurer like you, because my entire Lycan tribe is in danger from the epidemic that is the Vampire Clan. They''ve been constantly hunting after us for over a millenia and they''ve become more bold in attacking us unprovoked in the recent years. As of now, they are nothing more than a plague to our livelihood." "I know you have a bitter side towards Vampires, what with the whole arch-nemesis thing going for Goddess knows how long, but don''t talk about them as if they were cold-hearted monsters!! My favorite actor is a Vampire, and he''s played in more romance and comedy film than the number of canine teeth you have in your maw. I-I know I was bias about Werewolves being violent towards the women they capture, b-but at least don''t think all Vampires are evil @ssholes!"This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. "I assure you, Miss Elf. The Vampires I am speaking off are purely evil. All of them. They''ve been pursuing my people since the dawn of time, either draining them of their blood or forcefully carving their skin off to be sold on the market like cheap pelt! Now, they''ve not only captured our women and children to be sold as slaves in a foreign country, they''ve also taken my daughter!" "... I heard dogs can proliferate by the basket load. There was one breed of Dalmation that was able to give birth to a maximum of 101." "That''s a regular mutt, not a Werewolf. We''re may look like animals, but we''re not animal! We wash our paws after going to the bathroom! Besides, there is no way a Lycan Woman could pop that many pups out from her womb in one sitting, tha''s unethical!. And were you not paying attention? My pack mate is already one with the Great Hound Spirits in the Sky. That''s equivalent to your people''s saying of ''she''s with the angels now''. And I''m old, as if I could find another suitable bride to continue my line last minute." "Why bring me into this matter between two clans? I mean, you have your warriors right. You know, these buff looking guys that''s standing behind my back and breathing down my neck. They look like they can give even the best of the Royal Constabulary a run for their money." "Dead. All 50 of them." "................................................... I... I''m sorry. I wasn''t considerate of your feelings."
Pastrache bit her lip. She felt like a complete @sshole after she said those reckless words. Either not caring, or too understanding, the St. Bernard Cheiftain waved it off by tapping his staff that resembled a long and thing bon that dogs love to gnaw on. "... I will be frank. I was made Chieftain against my will. The previous Elders wanted to end the Vampire''s Hunting of our kind and set off on a grand campaign to destroy them... Even with our magical canoes that could fly and render our presence invisible during he night, not a single one returned... I, being the strongest despite my youth, had no choice but to take up this position... or else my tribe would be lost." ".................." "My daughter is the only thing of value I have left in this cruel world. She is the only belonging of mine that I can smile and forget about the pain I''ve endured... Worse, she is my only heir. No one in the tribe as of now are capable of taking up the mantle of leadership. If the other rival Lycan groups and organizations hear about this vacancy, they would surely attack and assimilate us into their packs as lesser servants. I don''t want that." ".......................But why me?" "You''re expendable... I mean." "Go ahead. I''ll give you a chance to repeat yourself." "Cough. Y-you''re the only one capable of completing my one and only request. Yes. Cough." The St. Bernard tapped his bone staff, to hide his uncomfortable cough. He waved off his previous remarked by rubbing the brow on his wrinkly face. It only made him look more akin to a Bull Dog... with hair of a Scottish Terrier. Despite how gentle the Chieftain''s plea was, Pastrache still had this skeptic look. "That still doesn''t answer as to why you wrote ''werewolf slaying'' and not ''vampire slaying'' in your original request form. If you hadn''t explain to me your position, or if it were some other ambitious rookie who wanted to climb his way up the Guild Ranks, your tribe would have suffered significant damages... Why such a bold order?'' "........................" "Well?" "Surely you would know the answer." "... Is this some kind of riddle that natives like you like to give out and allow the protagonist to search within themselves for the answer in their heart? You know, sing with all the voices in the mountains? Paint with all the colors of the wind?" "No. It''s even more straight forward: Which is easier to kill? A Werewolf or a Vampire?" "Werewolf of course--F**K!" "Exactly. Who the h*ll in their right mind would want to pick a fight with a character that can''t be killed by any weapon known to mankind? Even if you had a stake in your hand, do you really think these Vampires with over 300 years of combat experience would leave their bodies open for you to crawl up to their coffins and stab the sh*t out of them? Hmm?" "......................................................................" "It''s fine. You don''t have to hide your emberassment. You can look back at me now." "D*mn it old mutt, don''t up and read through me like an open book!?" The Half-Elf bit her tongue. She wanted to throw her fist at the wrinkling dog with the big skull. However, it was difficult to move without slitting her own throat on a series of spears tied with sharpen rocks. They were touching the skin on her neck, right over the veins and artery. One false more, and the security detail will cut both pips and bleed her out like a chicken. ...God. "Good goddess, what did I get myself into?" "... I won''t lie to you. It''s been half a year since I post that request up. I used up whatever personal savings I had to pay the monthly fee to keep it up... I thought they would have pulled it down when I was three months overdue... I truly felt at ease when you rode on your wagon to meet with us." "... Nello isn''t a wagon. He''s a tank." "... I beg your pardon?" "That''s not the important thing right now." "Then... what is?" "Payment. Your request stated that I would get 5 Million Gold if I was to kill a Werewolf. Given the fact that a Lycan like you is the true client and you want me to hunt a Vampire, I expect bonus or even double pay for the misinformation......" "...................................................................................." "... Well?" "Sorry. I''m an old dog. My ears aren''t as sharp as they used to be. Cough." "Don''t lie to me old dog, I know you heard me." "... Alright. I''ll pay you in full." "You don''t have 5 million gold, don''t you?" "My tribe only has 150 gold pieces to feed all 30 families and 60 warriors... Our only income is secretly selling our produce and minotaur milk to the local markets. Please spare us." "............................................................Nello. Stop playing with the puppies and let''s go home. I want a shower." "Wait! I-I''ll pay you in full!! D-don''t pat your butt and leave!" "With what then?" "......................Will fresh corn and buffalo hide suffice." "No. Only Cash, Credit, or Debit." "............Heartless woman." "Bite me---N-NOT MY @SS, YOU PERVERT!" Contrary to what people believe, the life of a Client and Adventurer was very difficult. Even in this reality, there was something called the Recession...... Sigh. Don''t give up the day job...
''No, not this easy... sob (TxT)''
[V2--10th_Thought] - When the First Contact between New Species are Made. Were Curious. :: Dear Diary¡­ I am starting to have second thoughts about this mission. It isn¡¯t the money that he¡¯s offering, 50 gold coins as down payment for a bigger pay off seems legitmate. Especially when he¡¯s managing a nomadic tribe somewhere in the middle of Goddess knows where¡­ It¡¯s the fact that I will have to be fighting Vampires. My favorite actor is a Vampire, the A-class Edwin Coleman! I-if we suddenly had the chance to meet for the first time.. wh-what would I tell him if he asked what did I do for a living!?¡­ I can''t tell him, he''s HOT... And if he tries to interrogates me with his shirt off - there is no way in h*ll I can lie to those abs..."
<< QUEST INTIATIED >> ~Vampire Raider Lv 15~
BACKGROUND:The Chieftain of the Omemee Lycan Tribe have hired you to fight the Vampires. The client''s daughter is one of the many Lycan Villagers kidnapped and about to be sold on the slave market and to another company. Your time limit startsnow, you have 10 days to complete the mission or the enslaved villagers will be shipped to another country. They have provided you details of the Vampires you will face, but due to losing their scouts, they cannot provide an accurate location.
Initial Downpayment for Mission Acceptance: ----- 50 GOLD Overall Funding for Mission Completion: ----------- ??? GOLD (Corn and Buffalo Hide as Substitute)
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~The Lone Ranger~ You took on a job that will leave you penniless but makes your heart better. Hi-Ho Silver!
¡°Big Sis! Big Sis! Look at all the cute little puppies! C-can we keep them!?¡± ¡°B-BACK! BACK YOU LITTLE MONSTERS! S-STOP PULLING ON MY BRASSIER! Y-YOU¡¯LL BREAK THE STRAPS! KYAAAH! OF COURSE I¡¯M NOT A BOY!! SO DON''T TOUCH PEOPLE IN STRANGE PLACES AND ASK ''WHERE''S MY WEE-WEE''!!" Pastrache was in trouble. Orignally she was worried about her personal dilemma in fighting a supernatural race she respected above all else. In her eyes, the stereotypical pale skin, red eyes, and sparkling features would make her swoon the same way fan girls would to handsome celebrities like Tommy Cruiser, Bradicus Pittburn, Christoff Hemmingsworth, Tom Hiddelton, Chasing Tantrum, or anyone else in the world who were ripped as f**k..... *Bunny Narrator drools*. ¡°KYAAAA! N-NO! G-GET YOUR PAW OUT OF MY PANTS, YOU FURBALL BRAT!! Y-YOU DON¡¯T NEED TO PLAY DOCTOR ON A GROWN WOMAN TO SEE IF SHE NEEDS TO PEE STANDING UP OR NOT! STOP!!¡± The problem that was plaguing the Half-Elf right then was a pack of little Wolfings. All of them astall as her knee, some who looked more wolf than humand and others looked more human than wolves. Both boys and girls came gathering around the Half-Elf''s long legs and tried to touch her cute looking body like a toy, or climb her like a tree with oddly soft branches. The little females were asking what was the Half-Elf''s secret in having such delicious looking melons. While the little males tried to seach through the edges of her shorts to find where she tucked her tail into. All of them bundled up in adorable deer hide robes and boar-skin mocassins.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. From a distance, they would look exactly like the puppies you see in the window of a pet store... all staring up at you with those big lonely eyes, whining and folding their ears... egging you on to cough up a dollar and take them home. In Pastrache''s eyes - they were worse than the Level 20 Manticore she faced some time ago. A different kind of hunger in their eyes. "NYAAAAAAAAAAH! P-PLEASE! D-DON''T GRAB ME! I-I''M NOT YOUR MOTHER! M-MY BODY I-ISN''T EVEN BIOLOGICALLY QU-QUALIFIED TO GIVE YOU THE MILK NECESSARY FOR AN INFANT''S SURVIVAL! OH GOD! TH-THEIR TEETH IS CUTTING THROUGH THE FABRIC AND PINCHING MY SKIN! GGUUGGAAGHH! AAAAGU! P-PLEASE STOP LICKING ME THERE! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE!" After fending off all 30 Level 0 Wolflings from... taking something from her body, their Werewolf mothers finally dashed to the scene to break up the riot. One by one, the female Lycans would pluck their children from the horde of many with their jaw by the scruff of their neck fur and throw them back inside their teepees. The same way mother hamsters would to move their little newborns to a warmer corner in their cage. Once the last child was pried off from gnawing on the Half-Elf''s valuable bossom and thighs, there was this silence that girls don''t want to talk about when they come late to school with a vivid red face and puffy eyes. Boys, pay attention and don''t ask questions under these circumstances. ¡°¡­What¡¯s wrong Big Sis? Why do you look so sad? I thought everyone loved puppies.¡± ¡°I¡­ I feel so dirty.¡± Pastrache sniffed back the tears that were about to fall out of her eyes. She dare not wipe her face with her hands, she felt something wet and slimy all over her palms after she wiped Wolfling drool and snot from her arms and legs. ¡°D-did you see that Nello!? Th-those furry little b@stards were groping my chest and thighs in broad daylight!? H-how could this happen!? Uuugh! I can feel the trauma of this unfortunate event burning in my soul. M-my skin still feels like their little tongues are still licking me from toe to hips! I-I don''t want to relive this nightmare in my sleep!¡± ¡°¡­ I don¡¯t get it. Don¡¯t you like puppies? You looked so happy when you told me about the ones you saw back in the city. You were even singing a song, about ''how much is thedoggies in the window?'' or something.¡± ¡°Puppies are puppies. Furry B@stards arefurry b@stards! Did you not hear what they were calling me the entire time? Just because I don¡¯t have fur on my body like their parents, doesn''t give them the right to call me ''Bare Naked Lady! Bare Naked Lady!''" ¡°¡­ Big Sisn¡¯t isn¡¯t naked.¡± ¡°YOU¡¯RE NEITHER A WEREWOLF OR A HALF-ELF GIRL WITH VULNERABLE CHASTITY PROBLEMS! YOU WON''T UNDERSTAND!¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­.. I¡¯m sorry¡­..Please don¡¯t be mad¡­ Sniff.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ D-don¡¯t¡¯ cry Nello. I-I didn¡¯t mean to yell at you. I-it¡¯s just hat¡­ I so need a bath right now.¡± ¡°.. Um. I saw a watering hole in the corner of this little village. Most of the Werewolves would dive in there like a pool so¡ª¡± ¡°Thank you Nello, but h*ll no. I¡¯ll just wash my body with my canteen and a towel¡­¡­. Hey Nello... you don''t mind if I do a bed bath in your tummy right?" ¡°¡­ Won¡¯t I get wet?¡± ¡°It will only be two minutess¡­ make it three. Big Sis promise no more than four.... Okay?¡± ¡°... Uuuuh.¡± "Nelloooooo. You know how much Big Sis loves you... riiiiiiiiiiiiight?" "Uwaah. B-Big Sis has her super scary face on... Uwa-uwa."
When Wolfings become interest in you:
[V2--11th_Betrayal] - Together, Lets Ride towards the Sun Set, and Kick @ss Everywhere. :: Dear Diary¡­ Hey can you pass me the bottle of bodywash. The shampoo got in my eyes and I can¡¯t ---*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*!....N-Nello! Evasive Action! ::
<< You slammed into RIGHT WALL. You received -8 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< You slammed into LEFT WALL. You received -8 Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< Please stop hitting yourself and seek counselling for Self-Harming Behaviour. >>
¡°F******K! N-NELLO! SLOW DOOOOOOOWN!¡± ¡°S-soryyyyyyyy!¡± Nello the T-34 Tank was running. The ones chasing after him wasn¡¯t the hundreds of Werewolves Native that suddenly decided to wage ware with their bow and arrows or tomahawks. No. Although they were swinging their weapons around, their animosity was not direct at the Tank at all. Rather, they were charging past him down the roads of their village, to attack an even bigger problem. *BANG* *BANG* *BANG!* ¡°N-nello!? Wh-what¡¯s happening? Nuwoooh!¡± ¡°S-see for youself Big Sis!¡± ¡°I-I can¡¯t. I-I was in the middle of a bed bath in your tummy, remember!? I-I only have a towel around my body and my hair still has soap! Th-there is no way I''m going to pop out like a cartoon heroine with zero moral just to see what is going on - So tell me what is going on!? "W-we''re under attack! Th-there are people riding on horses that are invading the village! I-I''m scare!" "Y-you''re a Level 50 Tank! We''ve dealt with horseback riders before, so why are you running around as if being chased by a dragon!" "Th-the horses are super wierd! They''re bones, but they''re moving like real horses!" "...Wh-what?" Pastrache felt her throat choked on her on breath, but it was cleared out when the Tank swerved a sharp corner and it slammed her body into one side of the crew compartment. Grabbing onto the hand rails inside, she tried to adjust her seating with only a towel coiled around her body. Don''t blame her, having been slathered in Wolfling drools, snot, and... you don''t want to know, she had to take a quick bed bath like shower in Nello''s private compartment. There was no way she was going to dare herself and dip into the community pool (#NoChlorineInFantasyWorlds). While she was stuck against the wall due to the Tank''s speed, she quickly peeked through a flap in the armor. "Z...Zombie Horses!? I-in broad daylight!?" Men and woman came riding into the village. All of them galloping on the back of a series of magical constructions of bones that took on the shake of a skeletal horse. They dashed down roads an over the fences, raising mayhem as they pulled out their matchlock pistols and rifles to shoot all over the air to get the villager''s attention.
Under the shadows of the many trees that kept the Lycan Tribe hidden, with a thick cieling made of green brances and Ashen Oak leaves, they freely dashed around the village as if it were their own rodeo range. Making a mess of everything. They were even swinging around ropes tied into a loop, lassoing various Werewolf warriors and villagers that were trying to fight them or flee from them. "Th-the h*ll? Who are these people!? Th-they can''t do this!?" "Wh-what do I do, Big Sis? Th-there''s to many of these people on scary horses! A-and my Armor Platoon back in Stalingrad isn''t here! I-I''m outnumbered 20 to 1!" "S-stop running around first, Nello! I-I can''t sit properly--Uwoooh--If you keep swinging me around like a coin in a turtle shell to read someone''s fortune---Kyaaaa!" The half-naked Half-Elf let out a squeal when her face flew and smacked itself across the console. The T-34 Tank gave a bit of a ''yelp'' sound from feeling something hittind the inside of his body and it was enough for him to screech to a halt. "B-Big Sis, are you okay?" "M...my nose... is it bleeding?" "I-I don''t know, I-I can''t see inside myself--GYAAH!"If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. The living armored vehicle gave another sharp yelp, when a pack of skeleton horses leapt over his head and body. A perfect 10 point jump. However, one rider wasn''t paying much attention and miscalulated another obstacle. So he ended up smacking his chest onto Nello''s 3 meter cannon, and was catapulted off of his horse with a flop. "OW! TH-THAT HURTS! NYAAGUU!" Nello didn''t get a chance to get mad. His nose ended up dropping into the ground to let a bullet fly over. The same way a man would duck his head to avoid an arrow. "Uwa, uwa. Th-the people on the scary horses are attacking from both sides. Th-they even brought in their own funny looking tanks! Oh my god, this as bad as the German Tiger Tanks invading Stalingrad!" "Wait, Nello! Th-those aren''t tanks, those are regular wagons!...W-wait, a-are they tying the villagers up now so they could haul them onto the transport... No.... Don''t tell me.... please don''t let it be true... they''re not the ones we have to fight. I-it can''t be!" The men and women on skeletal horses came flying through the roads and in between the tents. Nothing seemed to be able to stop their movements as they recklessly charged without concern for their bodies or well being. Even if they get stabbed with a flying spear or arrow to the chest or stomach, they still continued to reload their muzzle-loading weapon to fire at their opposition. Pale white skin thinner than bed sheets. Sharp fangs that look too pointed to be fake. Red eyes that hunger for the thirst of blood. There was no sparkling features, only dust that painted their thick leather coats and vest, while hiding their eyes from the crack of light that slipped through the cieling of tree branches. ...Vampires.
"...I...impossible... th-the Vampires... are really the bad guys here?" "B-Big Sis! Please give me an order! I-I don''t know what to do!" Unable to hear the confident voice of his beloved friend, the T-34 quickly took mattered into his own hand. Unsure who is truly the enemy or who is truly the friend, he didn''t dare shoot either his anti-infatry gun or his cannon. The last thing he wanted was to hitthe wrong people, or injure those that were his comrades. This wasn''t as convenient as a video game where your friend''s allied colors and gamertags would show up on the screen. Or watching your crosshair turn green when you point your gun on them. There wasn''t even the safe friendly fire feature where you can dump the entire magazine into your friend''s avatar and they would still be fine. So Nello could only do was run.Moving around and trying to sneak behind the larger tents and teepees to keep out of sight, avoid being shot at by the matchlock bullets. He knew they won''t hurt them, but he wasn''t going to take any chances. Not when the one he was counting on was still in a vulnerable state of frozen shock. ".........................................................I...They...No....Edwin...I..." "Big Sis? Big Sis!? Can you hear me? Oh no, d-did she get shot by the bad guys? I-I don''t know first air! Medic! We need a medic!" "............................... No. I-I''m fine." "B-Big Sis! Thank the Tsar you''re okay! P-please speak to me." "................................." Before Pastrache could say anything, she suddenly shoved her coat onto her body. Against Nello''s request, she started to unlatch the lever that locked the door to the turret hatch. Once she popped the iron lid open, she hauled her head and body out to see the world outside of the tank. She flinched, as a bullet grazed her cheek and drew fresh blood from her skin. It was a scratch that could easily heal... but the wound in her heart was opening even wider.. With her own eyes, she witnessed the evil the Chieftain St. Bernard was talking about. Vampires on horseback charged in over the fences, firing their rifles. The Werewolf defenders met them with brave howls and ferocious snarls, armed with spears and thick shield carved from the core of the ancient Ashen Oak trees. *BANG!* *ZIP!* *CRACK!* Pastrache felt her heart fell to her feet, when the bullet from the rifles cut through the thick Lycan Oak Shield. Her throat twisted into tight knots when she saw one Werewolf body collapse after another. No one rose from that hit, they didn''t even had a chance to moan in pain. Even when spears rose up to attack the enemy that slained their brethren, they only slipped through the cracks in between the bones of the horses held together by a form of necromancy. A split second mistake was all it took, before the rider fired her pistol point black in between the eyes of the Werewolves. ... A massacre... The Werewolf Tribe were completely outmatched by the ferocity of these Cowboy Vampires with their magical ghost horses and modern firearms. And those riders were enjoying it with all their whooping and yee-hawing.
<< WARNING: Your Emotional Status is 120% above Critical. >>
< >
"............................Edwin Coleman... Please forgive me." "Di-did you say something Big Sis?" "Let''s do it." "D-do what?" "LET''S GO AND KICK THEIR BLOOD-SUCKING @SSES!" ".... ROGER ROGER! ATAKA!" On that day, the cries of a Half-Elf and a T-34 Tank had never been louder. Not even the revving engines and the howl of the anti-infantry machine gun could keep up with their boiling rage. [V2--12th_Duel] - Know the 24 Foot Rule, and You Will Win Every Battle (~Sun Tzu) :: Dear Diary¡­.. I need you to turn off. This isn¡¯t the time to make a diary entry. Sorry for calling you out all of a sudden to help me with my bath, but this is dangerous now. We¡¯re in the middle of battle and¡ª*BATANG*! Gaaah! ::
¡°D*mn Howley!¡± ¡°Come on now, partner, there¡¯s no need to be calling us names like that. Consider it a greeting from Red Eye Mack!¡± The Chieftain of the Wereolves snarled, and coughed up blood. He quickly cast aside his staff made out of buffalo bone and picked up a spear from one of his fallen warriors. Despite his age, he twirled it around the same way the leading officer of a parade would to rile up the men in the grand march. All it took was one blinding-fast stab, and he hit his mark within a blink of an eye. Impaling a Vampire with a Cowboy hat.
<< You stabbed enemy Vampire with WOODEN SPEAR. >>
<< You dealt -0 Damages. >>
"... You know friend, that itches." "F**k! And I clearly stabbed you in the heart, so why aren''t you dead!?" "Are you really that stupid? We Vampires are already dead!" The Vampire that was stabbed with a 2 meter wooden spear in the chest laughed. Then he smashed the said spear with the butt of his matchlock pistol. The weapon shattered like 10 day old bread, splintering all over into the air. Next, he would shove that same hand through the cloud of dust to take a shot at the Werewolf Chieftain''s face. *BANG*
<< Lycan Chieftain was hit by PISTOL ROUND+3. Dealt -50 Piercing Damage. >>
<< Chieftain''s Health is now 150 / 200 >>
"Tch. Didn''t expect you to move so fast for an old time. I underestimated you." "I may be 120 years old, but still carry the pride of the Lycan Tribe in my veins! In this world - We Are the Fastest!" The bullet shot through the Chieftain... or rather, his afterimage and pierced through the ceremonial feather and animal hide hood he wore as the leader of the tribe. The moment the powder was ignited to the time the bullet was launched, only 0.05 seconds, he was already down on all fours and ready to leap at the Vampire with his claws. "Checkmate." *BANG*
<< Lycan Chieftain was hit by PISTOL ROUND+5. Dealt -60 Piercing Damage. >>
<< Status is now Prone. Enemies have Advantage over your body. >>
"D*MN HOWLEY!" "You may have the faster reflexes... but in this world - We Vampires are the smartest." The Chieftain clenched his jaws, and watched as the blood from his shoulder fly into the air. He miscalculated. He dodged the first bullet, but did not expect the enemy to be carrying a second weapon. It was already set at a low angle, as if predicting her would duck. Once the first trap was set, the second trap automatically sprung. Hence, the Werewolf carelessly earning a bullet into his shoulder. ¡°Honestly, you puppies are so last tech. You got to step up your game or be left behind by the evolving times we live in. Did you really expect us Vampires to fight you with classical rapiers or cr*p like that?" "Undead b@stards! Just because you choose to adapt to human science and technology, doesn''t mean you have to hunt after my people to show off your fancy toys! We''re not longer at war, we''ve gone our own sepeate ways after the Silver and Blood Wars! So why are you picking a fight with us." "Because it''s fun to beat up people that don''t have power to protect themselves. It''s a rather satisfying hobby, you know that friend?" "Y-you f**king HOWLEY!" Unable to contain the emotions in his body, the Werewolf Chieftain decided to take a chance. He pulled out his own secret weapon from the back of his robes, and he thrusted it upwards. A knife carved from Ancient Oak Wood. A stake. It went right into the Vampire''s heart. ...Only for the said Vampire to happily pluck out his third pistol and fire at the Chieftain''s hand. *BANG!*
<< Lycan Chieftain received -60 Piercing Damage and Bonus -10 from Stealth Attack. >>
<< WARNING: Right Hand is crippled. Unable to be used. >>
"GAAAAAAAHGG!" "... Hey old-timer, ever heard of the 24 foot rule?" The Cowboy Vampire smiled as he sat upon his skeleton steed. He took interest in both the way the steam flickered from the tip of his weapon, and how the Chieftain was struggling across the ground while clutching his bleeding paw. To add some fun to this ''game'', he had his undead horse stamp at the ground in front of the Chieftain''s legs, forcing him to scamper and crawl away to avoid being trampled. If this was a game of chess, all the moves the Vampire made right now was essentially clearing the enemy''s board until there was only the King Piece left. He had the Chieftain backed up into the base of a chopped 1000 year old Ancient Oak Tree. With a smile, he figures this would make for a great tombstone for his ''rival''. The Vampire took a moment to relish this sight, and licked off the blood that was splattered on the side of his pistol.
<< Lycan Chieftain are no 20 / 200. Status is Bleeding. >>
<< Passive Skill Activated: AUTO-REGENERATION LV 50. >>
<< You have gained +50 HP per minute. >>
"Well would you look them screens showing up around you. I shot you in the shoulder and in the hand, yet I can see your skin already healing over them wounds. Guess I really can''t look down on your famous regeneration abilities now can I? I wonder what does it take to really keep you down, mutt man." "This is our gift from the World Mother. After so many years of being hunted by your kind, it''s only right we are given an equal fighting chance to survive against you fanged b@stards. This is a gift to us that you can never truly appreciate." "Hey, like I said. Hunting Werewolves is a great pastime. Especially with these newly designed peashooters the humans have been building with all the rage. They''re more convenient than spending time learning Blood Magic." "How dare you! Regardless if we are enemies, we are still an ancient race born from pride and integrity to our origins! For a brat like you to forsake your traditions and culture in favor of this modernizing abomination raises my hackles! Just looking at that weapon in your hand sickens me!"Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. "Oh please, you sound exactly like the old fogeys sitting in the Dracula Council. They''re the ones who are uptight about preserving their Vampire Culture, but not us. We''re a brand new generation! In this world that keeps evolving with human science and technology, it will only be a matter of time that we get left behind to the point where we hunters will turn into prey. It''s only obvious we adapt to these changes to make sure we Vampires are the true victors in all categories!" "Tch! DROP DEAD, HOWLEY! << ALTER SELF! >> !" "... Hmm?" The Vampire made an odd sound. It was the same noise someone makes when they were confused. It was because he saw a flurry of green lightning surging from the Werewolf Chieftain''s body. It flickered and flared up from his heart and all over his body. Somehow, it fed him energy to inflat his shrivelled body, infusing muscles into his limbs. The weak leaks were fortified with magically enhanced bones and tendons. The arms bulked up to become natural weapons befitting of a monster. The head of the St. Bernard elongated and twitched, to become something as fierce as a young German Shephard. A Werewolf back in his prime.
¡°PREPARE YOURSELF, VAMPIRE! WE WILL END THIS FARCE ONCE AND FOR ALL!" ¡°¡­Sure thing old timer. You first.¡± "URAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Werewolf Chieftain took one swing of his arms, with claws as sharp as sword. It was enough to rip out a hole in the ground, and cut up the skeleton horse into multiple pieces. The bones were severed from their joints, their thick structure sliced clean through. The shockwave exploded the necromantic structure, sending its cut up pieces into multiple directions. It dropped the Vampire from his saddle, to let his feet touch the ground.Not at all bothered having his bone horse turned into kindling. Even so, he was humming to himself as he pulled out his matchlock pistol, spinning it in his palm. "Like I said, mutt man. Ever heard of the 24 foot rule?'' "You can''t bluff me! I know those thunder sticks are only useful for one shot! As if I would give you a chance to kneel down and refill your weapon!" "Who said I need regular bullets to have fun?" The Vampire stabbed himself. Yes, it sounded wierd, but it was true. The undead rider firmly stabbed himself, with the hammer of his pistol. On closer inspection, it seemed the tip of the metal was purposefully filed, to the point where it acted as sharp as the tip of a knife. Obviously, it was useless when it came to cooking or using it as a melee weapon as it was only about 1.5 inch long, and the tip wasn''t sharp enough to rip muscles. But it was pointed enough to pierce through thin flesh to draw blood. Vampire Blood. "F**K!" "LET''S - SHOW TIME!WHOOO!" Blood shot out from the Vampire''s neck, like snakes. They coiled and danced in the air, lashing out at the Werewolf. The threads of liquid crimson slashed every where, slapping itself against the arms and legs of the Beastman. With the ferocity of enslaving whips. It knocked him off balance and he collapsed to one knee. "<< REDSHARD SCATTER >>" (::Come. Come. Show me the way, let us follow the path of sin and recover our long lost paradise!:"> The Cowboy Vampire chanted, a methodical hum. The words called for the strands of blood springing from his neck to return to his side. They proceeded to stuff themselves down the mouth of the barrel as if water down the opening of a canteen, making sure every magical ounce was filled inside of the weapon. A flash later, and the normal looking iron matchlock handgun, was covered int shards of organic red crystal. It grew down the sides and across the spine of the weapon, lighting up with an intense scarlet aura. "B-BLOOD MAGIC!?" "Bull''s Eye bucko¡î." *BOOOOM!*
The Vampire pulled the trigger. A flurry of crimson ice was fired from the tip of his hand-size pistol. It stabbed themselves all over the Werewolf''s body, and drove him into the stump of the 1000 year old Oak Tree. Total Impalement. ".........A...aaguuh..." "Now you know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a stake. Be grateful I intentionally missed your vitals. Or else this fight would be totally boring." The Chieftain Werewolf vomitted blood. It either fell uselessly to stain the ground, or touched the rods of red ice that stabbed into his body and were sucked in like a sponge. The more of his own blood he fed into those red stakes, the bigger they became. Inflating in diameter bit by bit. "Aauggaa! Aaaaghh!" "Heh. You puppies are too easy." The Vampire blew out the smoke from his magical pistol, and spun it aroundto slip it back to the holster. He slipped a leather gloved hand into his vest and pulled out two things. A modern metal lighter and a modern pack of cigarrettes. He lit them of course. ¡°Fuuu. There''s a reason why you don¡¯t bring claws to a gun fight, old timer." "Go f**k yourself with a stake." "Hey now, there''s no need to go all uptight about this relationship. Tell you what, since we''re both creatures born from the night, I''ll give you one final request. I''m may be a Vampire, but I''m a man of the law. And the law is always right." "That makes, cough, absolutely no sense for people who gave up their humanity for immortality!" "Says the furry man who gave up his humanity to become great hunters." "Tch!" "Hmm." The Werewolf and Vampire clicked their tongues. This was a Mexican Standoff that neither of them wanted to give up, no matter how tight or free their positions were. "... Give me back my daughter." "We''ve got over 100 different puppy girls with us. Which one are you talking about? The Scottish Terrier, Golden Retriever, Pug... we even have some in the Chihuahua category and--" "You know exactly that I have only one daughter! That''s why you sent in elite soldiers to kidnap her! Lilytiger!" "...Ah yes, little furry princess." "DON''T CALL HER THAT!" "Which? The Princess or Little?" "F**K YOU!" The Vampire struggled to hide a snicker as he took a drag from his cigarette. It gave this eery blue glow everytime he inhaled. "Yeah, yeah. I know who you''re squawking about. That little firecracker we have back in the Elder Castle. Worry not, mutt man, your little furry is in good hands... really good hands. Heh-heh." "GOD-D*MMIT! GREAT HOUNDS IN THE SKY, DROP A THUNDERBOLT ON THIS BLOOD SUCKING HOWLEY!" "Relax. The one looking after her is a woman. She may be a vampire, buthas this ridiculously strong maternal instint to her that made her a perfect candidat in watching your ankle biter.. But, heh, I can''t really vouch if she secretly had a thing for young puppies." "IF YOU DARE FEED SUSPICIOUS CANDY TO MY DAUGHTER, I WILL GUT YOU WITH MY BARE CLAWS!" *Click* The Chieftain couldn''t continue with his blinding rage. Mostly because the tip of a familiar red crystal pistol was now pointed directly on the spot between his brow. Even if it wasn''t loaded with bullets, the power fueled by the Vampire''s blood magic was enough to kill him on the spot. "...Anything else?" ¡°Burn in h*ll.¡± ¡°Sorry friend¡­ but that¡¯s paradise for us.¡± With a joyful look, the Vampire casually pulled back the hammer of his weapon. An audible clicking sound could be heard as the weapon was primed. And when he pulled the trigger¡ª ¡ªThe front of a 43 mm armor vehicle smashed into the Vampire''s hips, twisting his spine in an awkward angle. His body was forced to snap in a 90 degree angle from the side, shoving his height over to the ground. When he realized his head hit the ground, something heavy pressed down across his collar bone and his neck. The next thiing he knew, he could only see through one eye. Then-- ... *Pop*. The pinned Werewolf watched, as the cigarette his enemy was using fell uselessly onto the ground. It''s blue light going out. Then he looked up, to see this massive iron vehicle sitting on top of what used to be his archnemesis turned into a terra cotta puddle. Like a dog sitting on top of someone he tackled. "...I got him, Big Sis! I stopped that bad man!" "Good boy, Nello! I love you!" "YOU F**KING IDIOTS! DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH HIS HEART! NOT RUN HIM OVER! IT WON''T KILL HIM, IT''LL ONLY JUST P*SS HIM OFF MORE!" Despite this scene of absolute Brutality, the final nightmare was only beginning.
[V2--13th_Purge] - The Mexican Standoff Between Vampires, Werewolves, and a Tank :: Dear Diary..... I told you to turn off! This is a battlefield, not a place where I can tell you my personal thoughts! Hey! S-stop! D-don¡¯t grab that! That¡¯s Nello¡¯s Machine gun! It¡¯s not a toy! Guffaawg! D-don¡¯t elbow me in the gut to have your way! S-stop smiling like a maniac and let go ¨C of ¨C the ¨C guuuuuun! ::
<< DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >>
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"B-Big Sis! Wh-why are there so many floating squares popping around me? They''re all blinking red." "I-I don''t understand myself. That Vampire Creep should be dead after you trampled him under your...Hmm? N-Nello, why are you mov--OH SH*T! BACK UP, NELLO! BACK--HYAAAAG!" Pastrache screamed like a girl. Even if she was a maiden, she was determined to never scream like a helpless maiden in distress. She knew no one will save her. Being raised as a Half-Elf taught her the necessity to survive independently in a world that will hate you for your mixed heritage. She had faith in her mother''s love, but even the lonely housewife wasn''t a superhero with the ability to fly around the world to help her daughter. So The Half-Elf always believed she had to be a strong girl...... However, today she had no choice but ot break her record. Because the moment when a cloud of violent blood shoved her tank friend off his feet, and felt the descent all airplane passengers experience when the plane drops 20 cm - she squealed like a Damsel in Distress. "EEEEK! N-NELLO! DO SOMETHING! W-WE''RE GOING TO LAND UPSIDE DOWN!" "H-HANG ON! REVERSING ENGINES!" The T-34 Russian Tank revved up the V12 DIesel Engines in his body. The tracks stopped struggling forward and quickly spun backwards, to allow the Tank to climb down the cloud of red solid mist that was growing under its body. As if riding the wave, the Tank slid down in reverse and guided itself with its armored tracks to keep itself balance. It would speed forward or speed backwards depending on on how steep the crescents and troughs on the waves were. The second the iron teeth gripped onto solid ground, it made a beeline in full reverse to get some distance. "Wh-what is that Big Sis? A-a land mine!?" "N-no! I completely forgot! The Vampires specialize in Blood Magic!" "... B-but there''s no such thing as Magic!" "In your world, that is the truth. In this new world - magic is a reality!" Pastrache gripped onto the side of the open turret, choking on the dusty air that was kicked up in Nello''s flight. She clenched her fingers onto rails to keep her body steady and looked up ahead. The plume of red mist popped like a bubble and it scattered into the air like the droplets of an aerosol. Standing ahead of them, was a man, who looked like he survived a zombie apocolypse and lived to survive in season two, three, four, and five. The Vampire Cowboy. "... Ptoo... You got my attention." "F-F**k. Th-this is serious! Th-this guy is a real vampire! We crushed him under your 900 pound feet an-and made his head explode! Y-yet, he''s still standing!" "I don''t know who you are, little girl, but the moment you trampled me under your... horse like that... there is no point of return. I will bite you and suck you dry." "..... Uwa, uwa, uwaa. M-my skin and body is-is in danger!" Pastrache hugged her frail looking body under her arms and pulled up the hem of her coat. She didn''t dare stand up any higher from the security of her tank friend''s crew compartment. Or the fact she was only wearing a towel would make the situation 10 times worse. Attacked, bitten, and then some. The Half-Elf didn''t want her body to become nothing more than a dead prune. "... I won''t let you bully Big Sis!" ".........Hmm? What are you, woman? A ventriloquist? This isn''t the time to be showing off like--" "My name isn''t Ventri...Ven...Ventricle...It''s Nello! And I am Big Sis''s Little Brother!" "...............???" At first the Vampire thought the Half-Elf was trying to distract him with her ''belly-speech'' ability. With his sharp inhuman eyes, he knew she didn''t move her lips or her tummy by so much as a iota. Yet, how could she make sounds as if she wasn''t the speaker so professionally? ... it was until, his attenion was drawn to a 3 meter cannon waving up and down. Like a child waving at him to say ''Me, me!''
<< Enemy is Confused. His Reaction Time has decreased by 10 seconds. >>
<< You have Psychological Advantage over the target. >>
"............ What the f**k?" "Go away! Leave these doggy people alone! They''ve done nothing bad! So....Shoo!" "..............Wait...A...are you... are you really talking to me?" "Yes, I am! N-now go home or, or... O-o-or, I''ll get really, really, angry! Grrrrrrr!" "..................Okay, Elf girl. Stop with the voice acting game. This situation is serious." "I''M REALLY THE ONE TALKING HERE! D-DON''T MAKE FUN OF ME BY SAYING I LIVE IN BIG SIS''S BELLY! I-IT''S NOT NICE!....Gaaaaah! Why does everyone pick on meeeee!" "NUWOAAAAH! N-NELLO! S-SIT! CALM! NYAAAAH!" Pastrache squealed when she felt the ground shake under her. No, it wasn''t an earthquake. Rather, the Tank she was standing inside suddenly got frustrated with the Vampire''s lack of respect, and it twisted its turret head left and right. The same way she does when she becomes frustrated and doesn''t get her way. "N-N-Nello! P-please don''t move around so much! Th-there''s two of us in here, remember!?" "Ah. Sorry Big Sis! But I''m really mad!" ".......Tch. This is troublesome." Despite the confusion, the Vampie didn''t let his guard down. He would glance down at his belt. After being ranned over by... whatever that iron monstrosity was, the leather on his belt was torn but still clung to his pants. However, the matchlock pistol was shattered. It must have been crushed under the iron creature''s feet, he thought. Only the handle and the hammer was left sitting in his half-empty holster. But that was all he needed. "I don''t suppose we could, you know, call for a truce or something, little lady?" "Don''t call me that. Only my mother has the right to call me ''little lady'' when she disciplinesme." "..........................................................Heh." "No. I don''t have a mother-daughter fetish you sick b@stard!" "Hey now. This here is my fight with them mutt men. I don''t need a third wheel to get in the way and screw up our plans. Tell you what. Why don''t you and your... friend turn around, and walk away. Like none of this ever happened." "As much as I admire vampires, what you did here is absolutely unacceptable. I may not like the Werewolves that much, but even they don''t deserve to be culled and enslaved by the likes of you! So why don''t you turn around and walk away, like none of this every happened - Friend!" "I''ll pay you a considerable sum¡î." "Oh my goddess! Cash or debit??" "B-Big Sis! D-don''t let that bad man bribe you!" "... F-F**k! I-I almost fell for the oldest trick in the book! Th-thank you Nello for breaking me out of his spell!" ".........................I didn''t cast Charm on you. Only the old fogeysin the Dracula Council still use it to attract schoolgirls. Honestly, it''s really a cheap trick." The Vampire Cowboy scoffed... but he also found a good opening in this situation. The more he led the Half-Elf and Tank astray with the conversation, the higher chance he had to deliver a swift counter-attack. With his inhuman reflexes, he is able to accurately move his entire arm one micrometer a heart beat. It moved his hand closer to the pistol on his belt, but it was next to impossible to tell by the naked eye until it was way too late. Once he find the perfect moment... he will finished the Half-Elf Girl... and maybe keep her lovely body as a trophy. He wondered, should he mount her on a wall or on the cieling of his bed... Oh the possiblities. "Hey, little lady---" "I said don''t call me that! Don''t make me come over and shove my rifle up your @ss and pull the trigger!" "Would you like to become an immortal, like me?" "If it has nothing to do with money I.........................I-immortality? Heh?" "Yeah. You know I''m a Vampire... Why, I have the power to make you live forever. All it takes is one gentle bite to your throat." "... Aaah..." "Just think about it. Immortality! You need no worry about starving on the cold streets, you will never get any disease or sickness so you can save your medical bills... And best of all you have the power to say no to taxes!" "...S...say no to taxes!? F-forever!? Aaaaah." Wonderful, the Vampire Cowboy thought. The Half-Elf was already drooling at this idea. As he said before, he didn''t like using the classical Charm spell that many Vampires knew since they were young. He prefer to use more ''practical'' methods to get someone''s attention. It was more, how should he put it... effective. See, there was this glimmer in the Half-Elf''s gaze as she meticulously thought about this prospect. "...Oh! B-Big Sis, I-i think he''s---" "Sssh. N-Nello! Let me think. I-it''s not every day when a Vampire would offer you free immortality. N-normally the stuff on the Ethereal Net Drive would require me to give them my bank account number or apply to a yearly subscription that would eat away my pocket money like lunch! B-but... to live forever, no pain, no frustration... I... then that means... "Yeah. It means you don''t have to work to survive. You can do whatever the h*ll you want, forever." "Ooooooooooooh." "B-Big Sis! Y-you''re sparkling, I-I don''t think that''s a good thing!" The Vampire Cowboy grinned, and moved his hand a little faster. There was a chance the Half-Elf would notice his muscle movements inching closer to his broken pistol, where he could easily use the sharpened hammer to pierce his neck to draw his own blood.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. But she was too preoccupied in balancing the Pro and Con of the offer he had place in front of her. Now that he thought about it: if the Half-Elf agreed and let him bite her... she belongs to him. If she continues to hestiate, a blood hole in her skull. A 100% win-win situation. "...Well?" "I-I don''t know... I shouldn''t." "Come on. Don''t be such a scaredy cat. It''s like being bitten by a needle in a hospital." "Those are worse than a vampire bite. Uuuuh." "So, what do you say?" ".... M... my mother always told me, th-that I should neverup and elope with strangers... Sh-she doesn''t want me to follow in her footsteps so..." "You know you want it. I can see the passion of freedom in your eyes." "S-shut up. D-don''t make it sound like I''m a pervert! I-I''m not that kind of woman!" "I will definitely hurt at first... but once you get used to the sting,the sensation of becoming an immortal will give you unforgettable pleasure of absoute bliss and freedom. Released from your mortal coil!" "I-I said stop! Stop it! M-my head is becoming hazy from your innuendos! I-I''m so confused now! Th-this explanation is too graphic!" "Hmm... Then I guess... You''ll never live in the same paradise as me." A hand made its move. It flew to the handle of the broken pistol and spun it right out of the holster. With a flick, the sharpened hammer end pierced through alayer of thin flesh, drawing blood. Blood that leapt like like puppet strings and grabbed at the broken pistol. Streams of enchanted red liquid twisted together, rapidly 3D printing a new barrel to the weapon. Filling it up with more blood, the entire weapon glowed a violent red color. Lock and loaded. And the Vampire aimed it directly at Pastrache... who just had her eyes closed to keep out the NSFW images from her chaste mind. "Adios, little---" "BIG SIS! GET DOWN!" "--Lady--GUBYAAAGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" The Vampire Cowboy thought he won the fight. But instead... he f**ked up. The moment he moved his finger to squeeze the trigger of his enchanted weapon, the tip of a 3 meter long cannon lanced right into his gut. Due to how fast the series of events had occurred and there being no proper equipment to measure the blow exactly... ... The best way to describe the power behidn the attack - was equivalent to the punch from Mike Tyson delivered at 53 km / hour. A normal person would have died three times.
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON on Vampire Lv 30. Critical Hit!! Triple Damage Bonus!! >>
<< Dealt -300 Bludgeoning Damage and -250 Force Damage. >>
<< Enemy Status is now Prone, Crippled, and Paralyzed. You have Double Advantage over target. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Sir Lance-A Lot~ You used an improvised weapon to joust your opponent. Bravo!
"GAAAAAAAAAAAADFFFF!?!" "NUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Nello ran at full speed. Pushing his V12 Diesel Engine to maximum capacity, he rushed his enemy with his iron cannon as a joust and kept speeding in a straight line through the forest. Small trees and rocks that got in the way were instantly crushed. Sometimes, by fortune, the one he pinned on his barrel took 90% of the collateral damage in his wake. "Sh-sh*****t! Wh-why can''t I move my body? D-did this thing, guuh, s-snapped my spinal cord!? "Stay away from Big Sis! I won''t let anyonebiteher!" "N-Nello! Nello! Ple-please stop, right now!" "Don''t worry Big Sis, I got him! He''s not going to hurt you! I swear!" "I-I know that, that''s why I love you! B-but we''re about to hit a big@ss tree!" "...What tree?" *CRAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHH!* *KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!* *FOOOOOOOSSSSHHH!* ........ *Crick* "...Ow." "Uuuaaaghuuu..." Pastrache gave an odd sound. It sounded like a hamster that got too excited and broke the speed limit in a hamster wheel. Foot got caught, and it was sent in a wild spin out. You know, that same noise it would make after the wheel eventually slows down for the little guy... and then it vomits. The Half-Elf sprawled across the turret head, felt like she was going to do exactly that. "...........Nell....oooooo...huuurk." "...S...sorry...I didn''t see that..." The T-34 could be found buried in a tree. Kid you not. Exactly like an Ostrich plugging its head into the ground, only on a 90 degree angle, the Tank had plunged his 3 meter cannon 6 meters too deep. When it tried to pull out with its tracks in reverse, he had zero grip on the ground and couldn''t pull himself out. This was beyond the Sword in the Stone situation. "... Huurk...N-Nello... wh-why did you suddenly charge him like that. I-it''s not like you to do something wi-without warning." "Sorry Big Sis. Nnnng. I-I recognized his pose." "P-pose?" "Yeah. The soldiers in the Russian Army would sometimes stand in front of each other like this and suddenly pull out their pistols to shoot each other." "THE F**K TYPE OF LEISURE GAME IS THAT!?" "Oh, they weren''t trying to kill each other, not exactly. It''s called Russian Roullette. That''s where they keep one bullet in the chamber and see who is the lucky one and who is not lucky... Or... that''s what I hear from them whenever they fought in front of me in the garage when there''s nothing to do..." "PEOPLE FROM EARTH AREMESSED UP!" A bloom of red ripped out from the tree the T-34 Tank impaled itself into. It reached out like the arm of claw singing beast and slammed its ''palm'' across the front of the armored vehicle. The moment the Half-Elf realized what it meant, she was too late. "H-HURRY! NELLO! REVERSE! REVERSE!" "Nnnnng! I-I''m trying, but my nose is stuck!" An explosion of violent red waves ignited from the hole in the tree. The force kicked back the T-34 tank off its tracks to let it slid around across the ground. The Half-Elf could be found squealing as she gripped onto the handrails of the turret, holding on for dear life to keep herself from being thrown out of the open hatch. In the wild spin, she was able to open her eyes in time to see a spooky shadow flying towards her. A moving body that looked like a mad elephant gored it to death. "...Now... I''M REALLY P*SSED!" "SH**********T! The Vampire Cowboy was smiling... or... he would have if the lower half of his jaw wasn''t dangling like a cieling lamp. With one hand he yanked out the 10 inch branche of wood from his ''brain'' and allowed his auto-healing powers to sew his split head back together. What was originally an axe wound to the skull was not reconstructed in a flash. Just as he felt the muscles grew back in his check to make him smile, he brought up his pistol. And pulled the-- *BANG!* *Ker-chak* *BANG!*
<< You used MOSIN-NAGANT on Vampire. Crticial Hit on Both Eyes. >>
<< You dealt -80 Piercing Damage and Bonus -100 Nerve Damage. >>
<< Enemy Status is now Blinded. You have Extra Advantage over the target. >>
"GAAAAH!" "You''re not the only one with a peashooter! Mine is longer!" Shouting with pride, the Half-Elf swiftly pulled back the bolt of her Russian Rifle to load in a third road. This time, it was her turn to grin atthe two holes she made that sat in the eye sockets of the Vampire. But it was only temporarily. In about 5 seconds, those eyeballs will be constructed like products in a 3D Printer. That''s all the time she needed. "NELLO!" "FIRE! FIIIIIIIRE!" Nello locked one of his tracks. It forced his entire body that was spinning to slow down in its revolution, allowing him to stabilize himself. It was almost like, he was drifting around a tight corner of a Snake-bending highway.
Using this movement to his advantage, he was able to turn his turret head quick enough to aim at the flailing target. *BTOOOOOOOOOOM!* "Tch! D-DON''T UNDERESTIMATE US VAMPIRES!" Although he could not see, the Vampire Cowboy already had his Blood Magic loaded. Without the need for accuracy, he aimed in the general direction and pulled the trigger. The action summoned a giant hammer made of compressed blood. As silly as it sound, the combined mass was equal to that of a monster truck. Should it land on the ground, everything within a 10 meter radius will be crushed by the incredible pressure. Then, an additional 5 meter radius will experience a shockwave that would force all trees to snap and fall to the ground. The Tunguska Explosion. ........ But. ".......G...guaaggg..." The Vampire Cowboy made an odd sound. As if the air was shot out from his inhuman lungs. When he tried to breath, he felt like the wind just went through him and out his waist. ...Maybe it was because the 76 mm Tank Round sliced through the Firetruck-sized Blood Hammer, scattering it into harmless blood drops--- ---And sliced his undead body in half through the waist. "...............FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---" With the force of the projectile and the shockwave that left behind, the remains of the angry Vampire was blown through the cieling of tree branches and foliage. Opening it up to the burning afternoon sky. And that was the last anyone would see of him. ... It didn''t end there. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I-it burns!" "Noooo! M-my beautiful face!! I-it''s falling apart!" "Turn it off! Turn it oooooooooooooff!" "Uwoooh!? B-Big Sis, wh-why are the bad people melting as if someone splashed acid on them!?" "....... Th...this is what happens, when an immortal Vampire is tossed out in broad daylight.. D-don''t look Nello." Pastrache grimaced. She used her hands to cover up the muzzle of the Tank''s Anti-Infantry machine gun on his turret head. Many people would think this was a stupid idea, even gun safety instructors would yell at her. But to her, this was exactly what she would do to cover the eyes of the innocent child that lived in the armored body. One by one, she watched as those Vampire Riders on Skeleton Horses fall off. Their steeds would break into nothing but dried bones and they would collapse in a heap. Due to how radiant the sun was on their body, their limps sloughed off when they hit the ground or tried to claw the light off their face. Hands turned into ashes. Heads disintegrated. Bodies were left to the torture of open daylight... whatever undead nerves struggling like an insect stabbed by a pin. .................Then, the entire Werewolf Tribe was covered in a thick layer of soft grey snow...And the Northern Winds swept them away like an unsatisfied janitor.
<< You are now out of Battle. You are free to Explore theArizonafall Forest again. >>
<< You gained 2000 EXP for defeating VAMPIRE HORDE LV 30. >>
<< Your Relationship with the Lycan Tribe has increased by 80%. You are now ''The Chosen One'' >>
<< Your Relationship with the Vampire Clan has decreased by 120%. You gain ''Fanged Infamy''. >>
<< WARNING:Vampires will naturally attack you on eye contact. Please seek counselling. >>
"...Sigh...Stupid windows. I''m already depressed as is." "Cough...Good work, young Elf. I knew my tribe could count on you." "Don''t get the wrong idea. I dislike people in power enslaving those of the weaker position. It doesn''t sit well with me... But, I do owe you an apology for my earlier behaviour. Are you still hurt?" "These rods in my chest? They''ll eventually weaken and wear off. By then, my automatic regenration would heal me properly. So whatever you do, don''t pull them out now. If you do, I will bleed out violently before my gift could activate in time." ".........If you stop licking my @ss with your tail, then I''ll thinkabout not helping you right this moment." "Sorry. It''s animal instincts. You remind me too much of my long gone pack mate...She was definitely a wild stallion in my private life." "Again, I''m not a dogman or cat girl. I''m not into that kind of flirting." "...................." "..................." "So do you understand now? The nightmare my entire tribe have been facing day after day?" "...............I do." "Even if we are to picked up our entire village on rolling logs and relocate to another sanctuary, those god-forsaken Howleys will eventually find us. I hate to admit it, but their intelligence network through the people they''ve bittened and turned into their thrall is impeccable... We Lycans honestly can''t keep up with their intelligence." ".............. Howleys?" "A, cough, term we used to symbolize foreigners outside of our clan. Especially those blood-suckers." "............... Then that would make me a Howley too, right?" "Cough. My chest hurt. I''m slurring." "............................................" ".....Listen, young Elf. I won''t waste my breath or your time with a serious speech. Even if there is no way for your to kill all the Vampires... just save my daughter... she is the only thing of value in my life.. And she is the only hope I have to preserve the peace and prosperity of our dwindling tribe... So... I implore you, accept my Request!" "...........................................................Very well. I, Pastrache Mooneye, accept your Mission Request." "....... May the Great Hounds in the Sky Bless you, dear child." "As for my fee." "Miss Adventurer...You''re not serious." "It''s not that I''m selfish or corrupt. I''m dealing with Vampires, I''m putting my fragile life on the line. There''s a high chance that they will not only suck on my blood, but eveything that''s pure about my body. Even if it''s not to feed my stomach with a hot meal, at least give me some funding to invest in anti-Vampire equipment! Armor and Weaponry are ridiculously expensive these days!" "...................................................................Ahem. Would Gem Corn and Fire Buffalo Hide suffice?" "No. Cash or Debit." [V2--14th_Reflection] -- A Half-Elfs Dilemma in the Matters of her Dream Idol. :: Dear Diary¡­ I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯m having second thoughts about this mission, orif I ate something questionable fromthat streetfalafelvendor. I honestly think I made a stupid decision. As much as I don¡¯t hate Werewolves as much now, there is still the problem that I will be facing vampires. Vampires of all things! I don¡¯t care if they¡¯re overpowered as f**k! H-how can I face my favorite celebrity ever again after this fiasco! I-I might end up being banned from his fan club! I-I''ll no longer get the weekly subscription where he poses for different photo companies! A-and next week his is all-awaited swimsuit session---GYAAAAAAAG!::
<< Course Destination Set. You are now 13 kilometers away from Londonbabi Capital City. >>
<< Weather Report: Fair Winds, 10 Knot from South, Partial Clouds and Sun, Precipitation 9%. >>
<< Please make a left turn at Little Angeles Road and enter the St. Regina Highway. >>
¡°Hey Nello, do you think I¡¯m stupid?¡± ¡°¡­ Big Sis is making fun of me. You called me stupid.¡± ¡°N-no! Of course not!! I said if you think I was stupid!?¡± ¡°Uwaaah. B-Big Sis is mad! D-did I say something wrong?¡± ¡°MAKE UP YOUR MIND NELLO! ARE YOU MAD OR SCARED!?¡± ¡°I-I don¡¯t know any moooooore!¡± Pastrache clicked her tongue. As much as she didn¡¯t want to do that to her beloved little brother (non-blood related), she felt her body couldn¡¯t hold back in making such a sudden gesture with her micro-body language. It can¡¯t be helped. It was difficult to talk to a T-34 Tank while it was running its V12 Diesel engine at full power. The background noise it gave out was equivalent to a chorus of chaninsaws matching to the rhythm of Vivaldi¡¯s Spring Movement¡­ (#SpreadTheWordStartATrend). Especially if they''re marching through the bottom of this deep rock formation that was split into this complex chasm. The sound of the engine would be echoing back and forth between both sides of the rocky structures, as if the prelude to an all out gang-war on the street. It would make sense for the Half-Elf to be screaming at the top of her lungs, even to ask for someone to pass the salt. To help improve their link of communication, the protagonist would often pat her arms across the Tank''s turret head. Good old fashion telegram system. ¡°Nello!¡ªBreak¡ªListen to me!¡ªBreak¡ªI am¡ªBreak¡ªThe Stupid one¡ªBreak, End!¡± ¡°¡­ You want ice cream?¡±The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°No! I said I¡¯m the stupid one for taking on the mission! The MISSIOOOOON!¡± ¡°¡­ Oh! You mean helping the Doggy People?¡± ¡°YES! That¡¯s exactly the point!¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Why do you think the Doggy People are Stupid?¡± ¡°ME! ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!¡± The Tank didn¡¯t understand why Pastrache was shouting. As it was born with a loud engine, his ¡®hearing¡¯ was used to the rumbling of his own heart¡­ core¡­ tummy¡ªWhatever he counted as a critical organ in his¡­ hollowed iron body.But the negative feedback from the rock formation was so bad, not even the Tank could properly hear the Half-Elf screaming into his ear¡­ or¡­ the DT anti-infantry Machine gun that he called ¡®an eye¡¯. ¡°Big Sis! I think it¡¯s a great idea we¡¯re going to be fighting bad guys to save the doggy people! They look so nice!¡± ¡°I believe you Nello! But I¡¯m still having second thoughts! To be honest, I like Vampires!¡± ¡°¡­ You like pineapple?¡± ¡°P-Pina Colada? Nello! H-how can you think of alcohol at a time like this? Aren¡¯t you a minor!?¡± ¡°¡­ I-I didn¡¯t mine in a cave for coal and silver. I¡¯m a Tank of the Russian Army¡­ Why did Big Sis forget about it?¡± ¡°Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Th-this screwed up game of Telephone is terrible! Terriblllllle!¡±
<< You used SCREECH on Nello. He became super confused. >>
<< His DrivingSkills has decreased by 12%. >>
<< Please shut up Miss Back Seat Driver and seek counselling. >>
The Tank kind of made a sudden swerve left and right. The motion was akin to a driver falling asleep at the wheel, only to wake up from the glow of another car¡¯s headlight blinding him. All because a certain Half-Elf was losing her marbles and was pulling at her own illustrious side-tail like some kind of stress relief toy. ¡°I said I like Vampires! Okay! Judge me all you want! But do you know how hot they are!? Especially my favorite actor, Edwin Coleman! Since I was a wee lass, he was the foundation of what my ideal husband would look like! Tall, pale, sharp fangs, and a smoking hot body! I mean, if you had been reborned as a Girl tank, Nello, even you would agree how ripped that man is!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.. I don¡¯t want to rip people. That¡¯s not nice.¡± ¡°N-no! Not the action of ripping! B-but how he looks when he¡¯s¡ªF**k it, I¡¯m hungry!¡± ¡°¡­ Why do you want me to shoot the mountains? They¡¯re innocent.¡± ¡°Are you seriously listening to me!?¡± ¡°¡­ You want me to jump now?... But¡­ I don¡¯t know how. I might fall over and break my leg.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± In the end, Pastrache let out a sigh. Realizing how difficult it was to have a candid conversation with her beloved little brother (again, not blood related), she just shut up and patted the base of the vehicle¡¯s 3 meter long cannon as if it were the space between a cat¡¯s ears. ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­. What did you say, Big sis? I can¡¯t hear you!¡± ¡°I DIDN¡¯T SAY ANYTHING NELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!¡± 3 hours later, they were able to exit out of the deep chasm and were back on the open road. The noise disappeared to allowed them to have a normal conversation... But then again, the Half-Elf had already lost her voice by then. [V2--15th_Cold] - Remember to Sneeze in your Elbow, Never Weaponize It. :: Dear Cough Diary¡­ I feel sick. I want to call in a day off, but theres to much things I have o keep up with for my next mission. For instance, I¡¯ve gained, cough, a lot of experience points, but I haven¡¯t yet properly upgrade them. I have excess Character Points that needs to, cough, allocated, so I should get that adjusted¡­ Ah, I also have to fix Nello¡¯s sheet. Cough. He¡¯s a tank, so even if he can open his screen he has no hands or tentacles to be able to, cough, majpulate his screens¡­ Man, I so want to call a sick day to¡ªCough, Cough, Hack¡­day¡­Sniff ::
<< You have returned to Londonbabi Capital City. >>
<< There has been an Update to the Ethereal System While You Were Away >>
<< UPDATED: You can now claim rewards and experiencet pointsfor Daily Guild Check-Ins. >>
¡°...I¡¯m here to, cough, check in. Now, cough, show me the money.¡± ¡°Please put on a mask and wash you hand in sanitizing liquids! It¡¯s sitting right on my counter pointing directly at your breasts! A-and why do you smell like a fishing pond gone bad!?¡± The Dwarf Clerk of the Guild was not pleased. She had been overworked with hundreds of requests from the various Adventurers in the Heroic Guild. 10% of the request were urgent, an emergency, or at most serious enough to claim insurance documents as well as regulating what items from a fallen comrade would be inherited by his ¡®designated party member¡¯. 90% of the time were guys trying to ask her out for dinner, ask her out to an explicit movie, ask her out to their house and bump each other a lot...or asking her out to do it right on the counter. ¡­¡­.80% of that 90% were people from our world...but dueto confidentiality ¨C we won¡¯t name names¡­Cough. Today, however, there was a 0.5% that threw her off completly. And she could be found standing in front of the desk, dripping with water, and covered from head to toe in questionabl sea grass and algae. ¡°My Goddess, you look like hammered sh*t.¡± ¡°I, cough, really am not in the mood to imagine how that would actually look like. No, please don¡¯t show me your mirror. I intentionall left my compact mirror back with Nello to avoid seeing my face in the reflection. I-I''m not ready to see an alternate me Yeti... Sh*t! Y-your eye glasses are reflective! Take them off! Take them ooooff!" ¡°Nwuoooh!? D-don¡¯t just pull at my face you d*mn poiny ears! A-are you the type of girl to has a fetish over other woman letting their hair down with a flick of their heads!? Wake up and eat some cough drops already!¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. The Dwarf Clerk was about to go on her long awaited lunch break and planned on not returning until at least 2 hours later. However, right before she could slap down the ''this register is closed'' -A certain Half-Elf stumbled in and intercepted the GHuild Clerk before she could officially leave her desk. Probably, 100% of the people reading this have that same feeling of annoyance and hopelessness... right? (#WorkersArePeopleAndTheyEatToo!) ¡°Honestly, what happened to you! If I hadn¡¯t recognize that it was you, I would have screamed ¡®OMG, a Wraith is invading!!¡¯ and all these gung-ho Paladins would have ganged up and banged you up with more than their hammers and holy light! You know how eager they are to really fight an undead horde! Do you want matchlock bullets up your @ss!?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..Aa¡­.aaa¡­AGUCHUUUU!¡± ¡°Let me ghuess. You were too busy holding back your sneeze. You didn¡¯t hear me.¡± ¡°¡­ Was it important? Sniff?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Sorry. It¡¯s my fault. Nello warned methat the road we were going through had too many ponds and the ground was uneven. I was in a hurry to get back here and have a desperately needed shower, that I forced him to just rush through it all. I overestimate my Dexterity Score, and ended up Crit-Failing my Balance Checks....... Shi--BICHUUU!" ¡°¡­.. Is that why you smell like wet dog?¡± ¡°Yes. And no, I don¡¯t have a fetish to frolick with German Shephards.¡± ¡°Sigh. All unnecessary matters aside, what do you want from me. It¡¯s already 3 hours passed my original lunch break. I plan on combining both my lunch and dinner break at once, so by the time I get back to work, I only have to wait another hour before I can go home... I don''t know if you''re lucky you grabbed my two hands, or else I may not have returned to the counter within the next 6 hours." ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.I¡­¡­..I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­ Yes. I am waiting for an apolo--¡± ¡°PIKA¡ªCHUUUUUU!¡±
<< Critical Hit. You dealt Dwarf Clerk -100Infection Damage. It was super effective. >>
<< Target Status is now Dazed. You have Advantage over her. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Headshot!~ You used an Improvised Weapon to deliver a critical blow to the Enemy.
"...Sniff...Sowbyy..." ¡°F**K YOU POINTY EARS! PUT ON A MASK ALREADY! GAAAAH! MY GLASSES ARE FOGGED UP HARDER THAN WALKING INTO A STEAM ROOM! S-SOMETHING''S STICKY ON MY CHEEK! EW! EW! WHERE IS MY ALCOHOL!? WHERE IS MY ALCOHOOOOOL!?¡± After facing what was essentially on the level of a Flu-based Blitzkrieg, the Dwarf Clerk swallowed her pride and her stress as he dragged the sickly Half-Elf into her private lounge¡­ And went to town in drowning her hands and face with sanitizing alacohol. Please, be careful of your eyes lady. [V2--16th_Meeting] - Girls Talking on the Matters of Celebrities, Politics, and Economy. No Joke. :: Dear Diary¡­ I need to become stronger. Regardles of my dilemma regarding the mission, the enemy are still Vampires. I can¡¯t be careless. Also, my class isn¡¯t exactly that of a Paladin or Exorcist. Anything Endead or Dark related is beyond my scope of practice as a United Colony Marine, even if it¡¯s a custom Ranger / Musketeer class. Maybe I could have that Dwarf Woman in my guild to help me with improving my stats :: "Get out. Just get the f**k out." "H-hold it! You can''t just cut me off the moment I say ''vampire''! Let me finish first! You don''t even know if I want to kill them or date them yet!" "Either way, get the f**k out! This city is already a rat''s nest full of corruption and laziness! We don''t want any more trouble to ruin our daily lives!" Pastrache chewed her lip. It was a bad habit, she knew that, but right now she needed to indulge herself in being imperfect, just so she could endure this growing frustation that was welling up in her chest. All because the Dwarf Clerk she was seeking counselling from was already starting to shove the Half-Elf out of her private lounge. They just got in there like what, about 5 seconds ago. Pastrache didn''t even have a chance to sit down. Do you know how painful boots are on a long term basis! "Please hear me out! I''m not asking for the entire city to rise up against the oppression that are the Vampire clan! I highly doubt anyone in this guild is a cookie-cut-out protagonist from an Action Comic! I''m only here to seek counselling in how to upgrade my Character Sheet, so I can protect myself from their Blood Magic and inhuman monster traits! Wh-where is the difficulty in improving my Character Stats to fight more efficiently!?" "This isn''t about how to organize yoru character sheet, it''s what you''re doing with those updated stats that would put this entire Guild in Jeopardy! Do you know that 80% of our sponsors are of Vampire and Undead Blood? Even this city''s entertainment circle is full of major A-Class Vampire Celebrities that make magical movies and magical telekinetic drama! They''re work is a majority of our city''s economy! Think about the politics behind this matter!" "... I''ll be frank. I''m a Half-Elf who has an INT of -2. I''m not happy about it, but that''s what it is. Do you think I''m capable of doing common denominator and long division relying on my brain cells and twitching my fingers while counting!?" ".................................................................." "... Hey. Dwarf woman. Did you hear me? Answer me instead of going on all fours and wiggling your @ss at me." "Yes, I heard you. Now, where the h*ll did I put my mace?" Pastrache sighed. She had a feeling it might lead down that road, so she already had an escape plan. The Half-Elf will only use it, should the Dwarf Clerk realize the former was sitting on it the entire time. It never hurt to have Plan Bs and Cs. "F**k! Where is my weapon! I need to beat the seriousness of this situation into your dense skull!" "... Like I said, I only need help in improving my character sheet. I''m still new to this whole Ethereal Customization System. Most of the controls are too foreign for me... Why are you resisting to help me?" "Please understand. Even if all of the Vampire and Undead who live in this city have abandonned their evil ways to go straight, the news of us Adventurers going on an unnecessary crusade to say ''all vampires'' will leave more than a bitter taste in their mouth. They will feel insecure about our support and understanding for them, maybe neglect the many trials they had to endure just to start a new life in this city that does not look to deeply into their background. Have you thought about that?" "Then have you thought about the other races outside of our big@ss walls? There are many Beastfolk and extraspecies that are being round up like cattle by these rogue Vampires and sold off into every trafficking circle known to mankind. No one deserves to live their life as a slave? Think of the modern era we live in?" "...Sigh, you still don''t get it don''t you?" "Then tell me straight what is holding you back?" "Vampires here are civilized. Vampires outside are nothing but bandits and rogues. But they both share one common trait - they are easily offended and hold a grudge."Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. "..................." "City Vampires will pull out their support from major film companies, causing a huge void in the entertain industry and the whole economy will plummet. Most of the city''s revenue come from tourist who visit us to see those Undead Celebrities and the stages they act in... Then the Rogue Vampires are like gangs. They will loiter around your convenience store or fill up your cafe and scaring off customers until you pay them a protection fee - every day." "................................................" "You are the only person in this stupid Guild who has true spirit of being a hero, I have no doubt abot that. But there is nothing we can do. The moment we march forward for the sake of right and justice, our backs will be branded and we will lose all strength to fend off the enemies in front." ".............................................." "... So please, think it over." "I''m still going to do it." "HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE, YOU LITTLE............" The Dwarf Clerk wanted to continue. She was in a good mood to throw all sorts of obscene insults to the Half-Elf Girl who was sitting in front of her, defended by only a towel to keep her unhealthy chill out of her body. And the Dwarf Clerk was well known for her skills in ''re-programming'' obnoxious rookie Adventurers or Guild Heroes who get out of line. Just yesterday, she ''disciplined'' a level 50 Dragonborn Warrior. What used to be a big town bully who would shove his blade into anything that talked back at him... was now pulling out chairs for women, holding open doors for comrades, and always says ''please'' and ''thank you''. He''s currently working as the head manager of this Five Star Restaurant because of his ''highly professional'' manner. All credit would go to this Dwarf Woman who was no higher than everyone''s knees. ................ Yet. She was forced to look away from the Half-Elf for some reason. "Hey, Dwarf. Why is your face red? Don''t tell me you''re undergoing a cliched phase where the side characteris trying to bring the hero out of the gutter, but is unable to express how much she loved him... I''m not even a guy. What interest do you have." "(Your body.)" "What? You''re mumbling?" "You''re definitely somebody that I need to thoroughly lecture, to make sure you don''t cause trouble..... But, I can''t stop looking in your eyes." "................................................And?" "A-and, an-and I-I can see you just want to help people. I-it''s not about the money." "...................................." "... Oh. It is about the money." "They''ve given me sacks of corn and buffalo hide as down payment... The Lycan Chieftain only wants me to bring back his daughter so she could continue his blood line and keep his clan from being extinct. I hope they would at least pay me real gold for putting my body on the line... but..." "But?" "I can''t even bring myself to take even 50 Gold pieces from them... it''s their entire life savings." "..........................................................." The Dwarf Clerk was at loss of words, but she did not show it. She prefer to hide with with a long drawn out sigh and scratch a finger through her hair to calm down. Feel tight in the face, she removed her glasses and set them into her breast pocket. Maybe to make the conversation more free, she even let her hair down. "...Wh-why are you staring at me so hungrily?" "D-don''t misunderstand. I-I wanted to ask if you would like Saber Lemon Tea... F-for your cold?" "Oh... Thank you... I definitely need something warm." "...How about my bed?" "BICHUUU! Sniff...Sorry, I didn''t hear you." "How about some bread." "Hnnn...No thanks... my stomach still hasn''t settled from eating the street falafel... I definitely need Saber Lemons to calm down." The Dwarf Clerk eventually gave up. She felt deep down that the conversation to persuade the Half-Elf will lead to no where. Even if they did dive into a depth further than the Laurentien Abyssal, it might be a point of no return. All sorts of warning windows would tell her how their Relationship and Bond scores would be erased completely. Not wanting to show it on her face, the Dwarf Clerk who removed her glasses and let her hair down just decided to bite on the tip of her tongue to endure the dilemma in her heart. "Here... Hurry and drink up before the Saber Lemons get bitter when it gets cold." ".................." "What?" "You sound like a Tsundere Heroine." "I''ll punch you with my mace." "Hmm........................................................Miss Dwarf, what did you add into my drink?" "Low-fat sugar and skimmed milk, why?" "How come there are colored pills floating on the surface?" "...............Sh*t! I-I thought those sleeping pills were the dissolveable tablets!! F**k, the printing on the bottles are so small even a Mouse with a PhD in Literature can''t read it!" "I''m leaving." "W-wait! I-I only want to cuddle you----You heard me! I only want to clobber you! So stay right where you are and where the h*ll is my maaaaaaace!?"
<< You gained 800 Exp for Stealth. Your Pickpocket Skill has increased to Level 5! >>
[V2--17th_Curve] -- Training a Tank to be Babe Ruth or Bob Gibson. Place your Bets! :: Oh! Hello Anne! You woke up! .... H-heh? I-I don''t understand you, th-the sound you make is all messy...OW! D-DON''T KICK MY NOSE, IT HURTS!... Heh? Wh-where did Big Sis go? She''s in the city right now. Sh-she said something about updating her character sheet, or whatever it is... I-I don''t know the details... hmm? Y-you''re bored, i-is that wh-what you''re saying...... Want to play with me? ::
<< ????? Used DROP KICK on Nello. Dealt -80 Bludgeoning Damage and -1000 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Nello''s Health is now470 / 550. Please move to a safe distance. >>
<< ????? Used DROP KICK on Nello. Dealt -80 Bludgeoning Damage and -1000 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Nello''s Health is now 390 / 550. Please move to a safe distance. >>
<< ????? Used DROP KICK on Nello. Dealt -100Bludgeoning Damage and -1200 Emotional Damage. >>
<< Nello''s Health is now 290 / 550. >>
<< WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! MOVE TO A SAFE DISTANCE ALREADY! >>
"OW! A-ANNE! STOP, THAT HURTS! I-I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN!" [TGBYHN____YESQAZIKM!] "GUBYAAAGH! S-STOP THROWING THINGS AT MY NOSE! I CAN''T MOVE THAT FAST!" Nello the Tank was invincible. Do you not see the incredible amount of muscle-armor that he carries on his massive body. Every side of him was shielded in 40 - 43 mm metal plating, which would render a bullet from a pistol or rifle completely harmless. The only thing that could punch him and deal serious damage would be a round from a tank, a tank-killer, a lucky artillery round, or a grenade... Take your pick. Landmines also work, but he''s not stupid. He can tell between regular dirt and freshly upturned dirt. However, despite his high level of invulnerablily, today - he felt incredibly vulnerable. Maybe it''s because a certain ghostly looking girl was tossing fist-sized rocks at his turret head, with the speed, precision, and grace of an our-world baseball pitcher. ... D*mn, look at her go. [QAZEDC_____SPITBALLTGB____!!!] "Wh-what do you want me to do again?¡ªGUBYAAAH! MY EYE! IT HURTS! STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME! I-I DON''T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME CALLED BALL BASE!" [WSXYHN____SIGHUJMEDC____BORINGQAZOKM] The Hologram Girl that was Pastrache''s living Diary A.I. frowned. Standing no taller than the said Half-Elf''s hips, the little girl made from a ghostly blue projection kep tossing the fist-sized rock up and down in her hands. She then had this serious face on, spit some kind of cyan plasma into her palm, rolled the said rock around, and tossed. A perfect pitch.Clocked at 108 miles per hour.
*BONK!* "GBFFFF! M-MY NOSE! TH-THAT''S MEAN! A-AND IT''S ALL STICKY FROM YOUR SPIT! EEEEEEW!" [TGBEDC______USELESSQAZ] To summarize, the Hologram Girl was bored. Normally Pastrache would wake her up at ungodly hours in the morning and in the morning, or in the night, so the Half-Elf could dump her emotion onto the little artificial intelligence and feel better about herself before starting the day. Obviously, the Hologram Girl was not satisfied with her dead end job. However, given her credentials as being an advanced holoprojection, her career options were... limited. (#StayInSchoolNoMatterWhat) Whenever she was not being used -recording-wise -she would automatically activate herself to kill some time. Normally, she would wander around Pastrach''s room, reading hercomic collection and forgetting to sort them back on the shelf. Sometimes, she would try to pick up a hobby that often leads to leaving the Half-Elf''s room in a total mess. In particularly, she had become interested in this simple sport we call baseball. (#NotIndoorFriendly) That was why for the last two hours, she had been trying to train the T-34 tank in the art of baseball--Er, the fantasy version of the game. Deep down, she hoped to bring about a second Babe Ruth in this world. All he had to do was swing his barrel to hit the ball. It was that simple to start with. Butso far, he had yet to hit the ball with his nose, not his head. Disappoint~~ed! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdEQmpVIE4A) ; [EDCWSX___CURVEBALLQAZ__!!!!!] "Wh-what? GUBYAAAAAH! M-MY ANKLE! I-IT''S BROKEN! I-I THINK YOU REALLY SNAPPED AN AXLE IN MY FEET! I-IT HURTS!" [................STUPIDUJM__AGAINPLM__!!!!!] "OW! S-STOP IT!" While the T-34 Tank was rocking around on the spot he stood at to receive the pitch, the Hologram Girl kept shaking her head.As much as she wanted to tell him ''you need to swing your bat, not just stand there son'' like a normal coach would... Unfortunately, due to her being a Living Recorder system, she really doesn''t have a say in the matter. Rather, she had no working voice box to properly teach Nello how to become a batter. Charades and Body Language could only go so far, especially when you''re dealing with a former Soviet tank who could only rotate his trurret in a 360 angle. "...Sniff... I don''t like this game anymore... Sniff." [WSXEDC_____COWARDQAZ.] "S-stop calling me names! I-I really don''t know how to play Ball Base! I-it''s too hard!" [RFVTGB____EXCUSESUJM____!!!] "...Sob... Can we play something else?" [YHN___HELLNOEDCTGB___!!!!] Nello let out the sound of a sobbing child. As he had no face, no shoulders, not even tears, all he could do to portray his emotions was drop his 3 meter cannon barrel into the ground... and maybe his DT anti-infantry machine gun too. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. That''s as mopey as a tank could get. As one could see, the Hologram Girl didn''t take to this form of giving up that well. She would storm up to the T-34 Tank that was three times her size, grab the cannon''s muzzle, and haul it up so she could glare down the barrel. Like a coach grabbing his star player out from the dumps and shaking him by the collar to wake him up. Then, begins the inspiration speech that would win the Oscar Awards. [USLESSQAZ____STUPIDWSX____NOTALENTPLM___NOTHINGWSX!!] "Uwaaaaaah... Big Siiiiiis! You''re diary is bullying me agaiiiiiiiiin!" [.................SIGHYHN.] Realizing how difficult it is to say an epic emotional monologue when her voice sounds like a radio that can''t decide on the right frequency, the little Hologram Girlherself gave up. She let go of the tank barrel, pushing it away as if a face that didn''t want to see her, and curl up at the base of the lake shore. A tough coach turned little girl crying by the river. ...Now, whether or not her childhood sweetheart would appear to cheer her up, and make a promise to marry her when they grow up, that''s left to be determinated at a later date. "...Hey...Anne. How come you''re crying?" [EDCRFV___NOTNAMEPLM___SOBYHN.] "...W...was it something I said?" [YES___BASTARDEDCYHN!] "... I-I''m sorry... for whatever I said that made you feel bad." [YHN__LAZYUJM___SOBEDC!] "....Hey, Anne... why do you really like this game so much?" [.........SNIFFTGB...] "H-how did I know?... Um... Well, I saw how serious you were whenever you threw the ball. I know you''re not doing it to tease me like a bully but... the way you throw it was... incredible." [..............NOFLIRTWSXUJM_____SNIFFQAZ...] "You''re very good at hitting me with the ball. I mean, you seem to know where to throw with such accuracy... Have you been practising a lot?" [.............................................................................NOSY...SNIFFTGB...] "... I see. So you''ve always been playing this since you were little... Wow... I wish I could be as good as you." [.......................______????] The Hologram Girl was confused. Not because of the comment the Tank made to her... but rather, she was wondering why the ground was shaking. When she turned to see what it was, Nello had just rolled over to park himself next to her on the same shore bank. His 3 meter cannon and machine gun were both staring at the lake, full of Diamond Salmon and Maple Mallards. "Is it because... you''re always alone... when Big Sis is is busy with other things?" [......... N...NOTGB...SNIFFUJM...] "I see. So, whenever Big Sis is out doing something else, you would always practise throwing the ball like that... No wonder you''re so good. And it''s super fast, like a bullet! I-I didn''t even see it until it hit my eye!" [........................WSX____SMOOTHTALKERYHNTGB]
<< ????? used PUNCH on Nello. It was Super Effective! Dealt -100 Piercing Damage! >>
<< Nello''s Health is now 190 / 550. DEXTERITY temporarily decreased by 5 points. >>
<< For the Love of Goddess, Please move to a Safe Distance and seek counselling.
"OW! WH-WHY DID YOU PUNCH MY LEGS LIKE THAT!? TH-THEY''RE REALLY SENSITIVE! I-I THINK A WHEEL CAME OFF!" The Hologram Girl muttered under her breath, pulling back her tiny fist from the many gears and axles that made up the Tank tracks. Despite how angry she looked, she no longer looked like she was crying. Even her sniffling had stopped. "... Anne?" [NOTNAMEYHNWSX____STUPIDQAZUJM.] "Can you teach me how to throw like you do? It''s, really cool." "............................................................................................................................................." "... Hmm? Anne? I-is something wrong? Why is your entire body turning from blue to red? Do you feel si--GOW! D-DON''T KICK ME IN THE STOMACH! TH-THAT''S SUPER SENSITIVE!"
<< Passive Healing Skill activated. Nello''s Health will refill by 50 Points per 30 minutes. >>
<< WARNING! Your cannon is obstructed. Please clear the barrel before firing the weapon. >>
"A-Anne. Wh-what are you doing? Th-that''s my nose! S-stop! I-it''s too deep!" [______PERFECTWSX___!!!] Before we end off on the matter, there was one thing the Hologram Girl had to figure out. The entire time, she had been training the T-34 Tank to swing his cannon like a bat. She was hoping he would become the next something on par as the next Babe Ruth. She realized, this vehicle had zero talent in following simple instructions. Even his timing with his swing always had a 10 second delay after the ball hits his ''face''. But, she wanted to know... ... Could he be the next great Pitcher? The second Bob Gibson?... There was only one way to find out. And it involved stuffing a polished lake rock right down the poor tank''s ''nose''... What? He has no hands to work with! "...I-it''s itchy in my nose... and it smells wierd. Did you clean off that rock before you put it in my nose?" (#ChildrenDontTryThisAtHome) [..........YESTGBQAZ] "I feel like you''re lying." [SHUTUPWSXQAZ____THROWPLMRFV___!!!!!] Ending on that note, the ''coach'' gave her instructions and prepared herself. To fit the role, she even ripped off a thick branch, shaved down some minor shrubbs and twigs, until it was nothing but a big stick you can hit bears with. For some reason, she held it over her shoulder like a baseball bat... Oh...oh no. Little Hologram...Don''t do it. "...I... I don''t get it, I.... Uuh....Aaaah.....Aaugguu.....Aaahnn..." [....HURRYTGB!] "Aaaaaaaah..............................Phew---BAKUCHUUUUUUUUUUU!"
[................................WHATQAZ?] The Hologram Girl didn''t understand what happened. The minute she heard the sound of a gun shot in the distance, something whizzed by her ear, its shockwave drilling a hole through her astral blue hair. The strange whistling sound came so fast, she didn''t get the chance to start swinging her makeshift bat. 10 seconds later, the sound of grinding wood and falling splinter echoed behind her.She turned around. [.........................................................................] 20 trees are dead. Each and everyone have a large chunk bitten out from their base as if swallowed by the mouth of a wood-loving beast. Chomp, chomp, chomp. All done in single swift bites. Clean cut. When the trees realized half of their bodies were missing, gravity started to push them over and they fell lifeless across the ground in criss crosses. [.........................................................................QAZ__?????] "Sniff...Sniff...Aaaah. I-I can breath again...But it still smell of pond scum...uuuuugh." Hologram turned back to the T-34 Tank. Nello simpley coughed out a small puff of smoke and steam from the end of his barrel. Not sure what to do next, he looked left and then right, before setting his ''eyes'' on his coach. ".......Is that what you wanted me to do?" [............................PERFECTYHN__!!!!!] The Hologram Girl gave a thumbs up. In her eyes, she could see her growing dream team walking onto the fields of a major World Series game. Please sponsor her. [V2--18th_Bribe] - How to Bribe the Little Sisters of a Constable: Chocolate, Cake, and Wine. :: Dear Diary... I wonder what should I get. I need to prepare for a long journy to another countryside to carry out the request forth Lycan Cheiftain, so I need to become prepared. I heard the Rogue Vampire Territory would be dark places, so they could thrive more freely in the night earlier than most other open spaced lands. I wonder, if I shoud just fill my inventory with nothing but nagic lanterns and start to weaponize glow sticks... but then again,even the cheapest ones are super expense. Sigh, looks like the road in finally building a big fancy house for my family and Nello, is getting further and further away... :: "M-Miss Elf. You have my attention. Is there any reason why you had to snag my Constable Hat to just so we coud talk in private?" "Information! I''m willing to pay you good moneyto tell me anybackground you have on these Wild Vampires that are involved in beastfolk and extraspecies trafficking. Surely the Royal Constabulary has a grand enough intelligence network to know every nook and cranny in the Underworld right?" "... You do realize I could arrest you on terms of bribing an officer of the law right?" "I see now. So this is how our relationship will begin huh? Very well, please add ''Assaulting an Officer'' to the charges, I''m going to pull on your ear until it bleeds." "..... F...forget what I said. Ahem." Pastrache was in a hurry. No, it wasn''t because she had to use the ladies room, for some reason she already went three times after fixing her character sheet back at the Adventuring Guild. But she looked antsy as she was practically jogging on the spot, ready to go off harder than an Insane Bolt. All the while she was jog-hopping in front of a certain Constable. "To be clear, young lady, it''s the Criminal Underworld you''d be referring. We obviously have no authority what goes in Lord Hades'' realm, mind you, with all the lost dead souls and... Although... if the Constabledid partake in ongoing investigations in the occult, would we still call it Criminal Criminal Underworld, or something else? Hmm... Sounds confusing." "Mr. Officer. Please pay attention. I''m on a tight schedule. I want to finish this exchange quickly, so I make it to the super sales in the market. Rations are expensive, I need to refill my inventory on the lowest possible budget!" "L-like I said, young lady, I''m not a special agent that works undercover. I''m just a normal Constable who works on minimum wages. I''ve just joined the Force for a year, I don''t even have my long-term benefits yet. Please don''t cause too much trouble for me!" The Half-Elf let out an audible groan. She believed it was a legitimate psychological tactic in order to persuade the Royal Constable to see things her way, maybe even sympathize. It was exactly like how an interrogator would say nothing and let the silence weigh heavily on the person he was interrogating. It made it easier for the suspect to tell you everything, just to fill up that empty void. To Pastrache''s dismay, the Constable wasn''t buying into that sociological trap. "Listen, miss, I completely understand you want to go out of your way to help the Constabulary in dealing with matters we''re short-handed to deal with. However, this is your safety on the line and we can''t be there to protect you." "I''m aware of that. Hence why I''m investing only 30 minutes to get the necessary information from your pockets and leave. I have Nello who is a Level 50 Tank transmigrated from another world. We''ll survive one way or another." "... What''s a tank?" "You know. This big humoungus... thing that''s this big, and this tall. Super heavy with lots of stuff on his body. Then, then he has this super long, thing that can shoot stuff in any direction he wants." ".........M...Miss, please don''t hold up your hands like that... the women around us are staring." "Lewd." "Y-you''re the one who''s making the obscene signals! I could have you arrested for just doing that!" The Constable swallowed his dry throat and had no choice but to forcefully grab Pastrache''s hand and shove them down below her shoulder height. The last thing he want was others to mistaken that hesoliciting someone... when his duty was to catch those who were ''soliciting''. "...Let go of my hands or I''ll scream rape." "S-sorry. J-just, don''t wave your hands out of context." "Listen, Mr. Constable sir. I know you don''t want trouble from Vampires coming at you in vengeance. I won''t mention you name. That way, you can peacefully carry on your job and raise your 59 wives." "59 little sisters. All of them are serving the Convent." "Yes, yes, yes. You love them like a harem, but let''s get back to the serious matter. Where are these blood-sucking b@stards?" "Sssssh! N-not so loud! It''s tourist season and everyone is here to see the new production starring that popular Vampire actress. We don''t have enough men on shifts to handle a rioting mob!" The situation felt like it was getting out of hand. However, the Constable had every ounce of confidence he could negotiate something out from the serious Half-Elf and would be able to return to his duties in rounding up drunkards and men walking around with nothing but a long coat. "..........................................CONSTABLE BRU--" "G-GET OVER HERE! YOU LITTLE MISCREANT!" In the end, he had to use necessary force to drag the noisy Half-Elf somewhere else and away from onlooking eyes. He was able to bring to stand next to this run-down saloon that was noiser than a college student''s apartment. If it wasn''t the loud bar music going on, it definitely was all the hollering and hooting of men throwing fists at each other.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. Sometimes, an empty bottle or a barrel would fly through the window and landed next to Pastrache''s feet. "... Don''t you need to deal with that." "In a minute. Right after I''ve taken care of your problem." "Am I the problem?" "Miss. I want to help, but I''m on the bottom of the totem pole in the Constabulary. I''m Third Class. I don''t even get a chance to work with the Detective in ongoing invesitgations. I could only keep curious people away from the crime scene or beat up thugs to bring in for questioning. I don''t have access to sensitive information that you''re looking for." "...................................................Sorry. I think I was being stupid again." "Well you do seemed to be troubled. Would you like to share with me?" "........................................................................" "Constable''s Honor, I won''t tell another soul." "............................................................................" "... Scout''s honor?" "It''ll do." Letting out a long and tired sigh, the Half-Elf walked away from the window, in time to avoid a man being chucked right out of it. The person who was thrown out rolled across the street, his face cracked with blood and bruises, only to roll back up and dive back through the window to throw a punch. Too deep in thought, Pastrache just sat on top of a clean looking ale barrel on the road outside and rested her back against the wall. All the while, the Constable took off his hat to listen to the troubled maiden. "... I want to get this job over with?" "This ordeal about renegade Vampires." "Yeah. I thought if I hurry and finish this mission request, I won''t feel any form of regret in beating up Vampires that I once admired as a child... I''m too slow. It hasn''t been a day and I''m getting butterflies. It''s worse than that time back in school when I was forced to sing Coca Cobana in front of everyone." "... What happened then?" "Some b*tch in third grade undid my skirt and everyone saw my strawberry panties... that''s all they talked about for the next 10 years." "... Oh my." Feeling the information weighing heavily on his own shoulder, the Constable ended up sitting on a crate next to Pastrache. There was a barrel right next to her, but it was in front of a window that kept launching out iron pots, bottles, and the occassional drunkards out the sill. No need to spoil the mood and get bowled over by them. "You know, you sound an awful lot like me when I first started being a Constable." "How so?" "There''s a lot of Undead citizens moving in out city... as you may now we''re forced to abandon many churchs or move them far away, so support and donations have dwindled to religious factions... My 59 little sisters who took me in when I was lost all treated me like family. But I have no schooling, so the only job I could take was being a Constable." "... I see. So you''re not like those little boys who dream of becoming a healer, water mager rescue, or even a law enforcer." "No... I did it for the paycheque." Maybe feeling some sense of pity, Pastrache held out her hand to the Constable. Automatically, he slapped a hand into her palm as if to conduct a low-tone high-five. "The first week was h*ll... I thought that if I just bury myself with work, I won''t have to worry about slipping up, or dealing with dangerous folk." ".............." "But like you mentioned, I''m too slow too. Days felt like months, weeks moved like years... Every day has been a struggle for me to just do my job and put aside my personal feelings... There were many times where I thought about quitting." "... Yet you''ve worked your way up from a Recruit to Third Class, that means something." "Oh no. We all start at Third Class. First Class is the highest, then the sergeants, the majors, and hopefully Detective and Inspector." "... Ah...Sorry." "It''s alright... You know, young lady. You should feel fortunate." "H-how so?" "Well, you''re an Adventurer. I mean, not only do you have better pay and benefits but there aren''t that many regulations that restrict you from how you perform your duties. Look at me. If I so much as use too much force or hassle a citizen too much, I get complaints, I could be under internal investigation, not to mention all the paper work. You don''t have to worry about that." Pastrache thought she should say something... but when her gut told her to shut up and listen, she obeyed. Deep down, she knew she had no right to complain or retort. Everyone in this world had a role, a guideline... a responsibility. Whether they be a Royal Constable or Adventurer. "... So, Mr. Officer. What will you do?" "You can call me George. I don''t mind." "... George...What do you plan on doing?" "Well I''m not going to quit, that''s for sure. There''s barely any other jobs available out there. Construction work might do, but then again, once you finish with the building... who can gaurantee someone needs another being raised." "Yeah... the problem of work and the cr*pload of politics that come with it." "... So if you ask for my advice I just say........Hakuna Matata." "......The f**k what?" "Hakuna Matata... I think it''s Skidovian for ''Whatever happens, happens, just suck it up and be a man''." "......Sexist." "Or woman... which ever works." The Half-Elf and Constable let out a small sigh. But it wasn''t too depressing. It wasn''t long enough to feel that they had hit a dead end and were not able to escape. A sense of hope was well hinted in their exhales. ".............................I think I know what to do now?" "What would that be?" "Seek professional counselling." "Sorry, I tried. The Priest who my little sisters work with told me I wouldn''t cut out for spreading the good word. I guess I should focus on converting criminals with billy clubs and prison cells." "... But thanks for the talk, Mr. Const...George...... Somehow, hearing you ramble makes me feel better." "......You''re welcome?" The Constable watched as the Half-Elf hopped off her barrel to brush the wrinkles out of her short pants and vest. She started to walk away, in time to have another window break open and half of a sawed table flung out with a series of throwing knives stuck under the table like gum. "Oh and Miss. About that information you want---" "Yes, yes, yes. I know you can''t access intimate files on my behalf. No need to act like a broken---" "One of my little sisters may help." "---Record....Oh?" Pastrache stopped in mid-step and turned around. By the time she looked at the Constable, he was already on his feet and setting his Pith Helmet with the Silver Leaf badge back onto his head. "Y-yeah. Sister Pearl, she used to be in the whole underground intelligence network before she retired as a nun. I guess she still has some connections if you talk to her." "How much for the information?" "Oh she''s washed her hand from all that business, so she won''t take your money. Give her two bottles of Iron Scotch and she will definitely tell you whatever you want... Just, don''t say I told you that." "... R...right... Thank you... Sister Garnet, right?... Or was it Amethyst you said?" "No, it''s Sister Pearl you want the location. Sister Garnet works as a blacksmith for the church and the local Paladins seek her out for holy enchanting, who by the way makes the best blessed armory in my opinion. And Sister Amethyst likes to run a small store selling holy water and other religious artifcats for the minority of religious converts and----" "How do I bribe them?" "..................A ''Well My Lover'' Chocolate Set for Sister Garnet. And Kiwi Short Cake for Amethyst. You throw in a bread and cheese basket, they''ll give you a considerable discount." "O-oh my goddess, I love you George!" ".......I...I wasn''t... ready for that... Oh dear, is my heart pounding!?" Morale of the story: bribe people with sweets and wine.
[V2--19th_Training] - Lets Play Eye Of the Tiger for a Tanks Training Montage. :: Dear Diary¡­ I¡­¡­ What the f**k!? ::
<< You are dealt -10 000 Emotional Damage. It was super effective. >>
<< Your Current Status is Stunned and Dazed. Enemies have Advantage over your body. >>
"D-Diary! Wh-what the f**k are you doing to poor Nello! Get off his head right now!" "...H.......Help.....Big Sis.......I....I can''t feel my nose any moooore...." Pastrache was supposed to be happy. Supposed to be. After visiting a certain Constable''s collection of 59 sisters who served a convent, she was able to obtain the necessary intel as wellanti-undead weaponry and defenses to battle against the rough riding Vampires... As well as a side inventory of hand-knit scarves, a package of Chamomile Tea bags, and a free rosary or two. Overall, it cost her about two bottles worth ofIron Scotch and an expensive ''Well My Lover''s'' Chocolate Set to acquire it all (as well as other sweets and wine), but she felt it was worth the 500 Gold pieces she invested. Just when she came back, to the Lake House, wanting to celebrate her successful preparations with her favorite Tank Little Brother... ...She had the look as if she entered a violent crime scene gone bad. "N-Nello! Poor Nello! S-speak to me! Wh-what happened!?" "....Uunggg...A...Anne...Anne wanted me to become stonger....Uunng....Sh-she made me do pushes up........ Big Sis... my nose hurts..."
The T-34 Tank had no arms. It was impossible to do push-ups. Impossible to do them like a regular human that is. So he was forced to use his 3 meter long nose to force the front of his 23 ton body off the ground and back down... off the ground and back down... off the ground and back down. It was the same as a strong man lifting up the nose of a car, up and down, up and down, up and down. Sitting on top was his ''coach'', Miss Hologram Diary Girl. She was cross legged and was focused on counting the astral fingers on her hands. Judging by the number of digits she had curling and uncurling...one... two... five... Oh dear god...This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
<< You gained 10 000 XP from regular exercising. Your STR has increased by 30 points. >>
<< WARNING! Joint Stress are reaching critical levels. Your CON has temporarily decreased by 20. >>
<< WARNING! Your Hydration Status is: ERROR_UNKNOWN_VARIABLE. Your are THIRSTY. >>
<< Please cease all training and hydrate now. >>
"...Hnnnn....Th...three hundred...f...fifty seven.... th....three hundred f-fifty eiiiiiiiiiight...uugaa..." "D-Diary! S-stop torturing my dear Nello and get the f**k off his head! No! Not give me the bird and mouth ''go f**k myself''! D-do you want me to shove this free courtesy pen I got from a special sales up your holographic @ss!? I knowyoucan feel pain, so get off him RIGHT NOW!" ".......Wheeeeze.....Wheeeeeze......F...four...hundreeeeeeed!.......Pant pant.......F-four hundred an-and oooooone--" "STOP!Nello! Oh my poor Nello! Stop it right now! You don''t have to do any more push ups now! Oh my poor baby! F**K YOU DIARY! WHAT THE H*LL WERE YOU THINKING!?" The Hologram Girl that slid off of the Tank''s turret head as if a slide waved her hands around. Along with her garbeled speech, she was trying to explain that Nello was going to be the star pitcher in her future Ball Base team and she was training him for the day where they will shine in the World Series. The Artifical Intelligence ended up being spanked, violently. "Turn yourself off and go to your room in my pocket! Think over what you''ve done and write a 500 page essay as to how wrong you were! NOOOOOW!" After a valiant kick to the Half-Elf''s shin, the Holographic Girl disappeared into nothing more than a lifeless leather bound diary book. Pastrache was about to stomp on its inactive form, but that would end up breaking expensive equipment (and memento from daddy) so she just groaned and shoved it down into her pant pocket. Then her rage dissolved when she buckled over to caress the tank''s armor. "Nellooooooo! I''m sorry for leaving you alone like that! B-Big Sister promise she will never leave you with my Dairy again! Did she hurt you?" "N-no... I-I''m okay.... but.... I can''t move my nose... it''s cramping." To express his point across, the T-34 Tank tried to move his 76 mm cannon. A lot of creaking could be heard, along with his moaning pain. It was the exact sound a 200+ pound person would make after their first day of intense cardio workout. "Fear not, Nello! She won''t bother you again! Oh my sweet, sweet little brother tank! Ooooooh!" "Uwaaaah! B-Big Sis''s face is so warm on my belly!" The best way to picture this heart-felt scene, is this fragile looking Half-Elf surrounded by cr*p on of shopping bags and equipment packages around her, on her knees and cradling the front armor of the T-34 Russian Tank. Cooing as if it were her pet Welsh Corgi.................................................................... Yeah. "Gughg!?" "Nello! A-are you hurt? D-did you sprain something!? Talk to me! Say something!" "U-um, I''m okay. It''s just that........Big Sis''s ears are very long... it tickles." "...................................... Nello. Are you making fun of my ears?" "Uwaaa...B-Big Sis is suddenly super scary... S-sorryyyyy!" "W-wait a minute! I-I''m supposed to be consoling you! So-so why are you crying even harder!? Nello!" [V2--20th_Heart] - We Take Care of Our Own. Be it Tank or Half-Elf. Dah! :: Dear Diary¡­ After what you did to Nello, you¡¯re gounded for a whole week!! After this recording, I won¡¯t talk to you. So you better take this time to reflect on what you did! END RECORDING! :: "B-Big Sis, wh-what are you doing with my nose?" "You have bad cramps right? Well, nothing can beat muscle pain better than wrapping a wet towel around your nose, right?" "... How come the towel looks like Big Sis''s shirt and pants." "Please understand, Nello. I don''t have regular towels.... So......your loving sister is making a huge sacrifice for you... sniff..." "Ah. Big Sis is crying... I''m sorry." Nello felt bad. As much as he wanted to become stronger to protect his beloved Half-Elf friend, he realized how much trouble he caused her. Because Pastrache was dipping her own spare clothing into the cold lake, and wrapping them around his long nose. It was applying the same science behind cold packs placed on a feverish head. She also went out of her way to mix her wet clothing with some vegetable oil she had purchased from town earlier. Obviously, she wasn''t marinating the tank to cook him like an oven baked turkey. No, no, no, the Tank Version of PETA would have a field day about that. Sigh. (#TanksArePeopleToo) "Um... Big Sis... what is the slimy stuff you''re putting on your cloths?" "Hmm? Oh, sorry I was too deep in thought I didn''t have a chance to explain. You see, when I was a little girl like you.......anyways, I was part of the track and field team. This is a technique my mother would make to help me with muscle pain and bad cramps after a day of training." "... What''s track and field?" "It''s a club where we gather the best runners and sports players to compete against other schools in my village." "What''s a club?" "Sssssh. Big Sister is talking." "Oh. Right, okay! Hmmm." The last sound was mimicking a child zipping his lips to listen to his parents. Or in this case, his non-blood related Half-Elf sister... Such a good child... tank (right...) "I think through my entire school life, the track and field team is my favorite part of the day. Yeah, I''m a pretty good runner so I was recruited to join and race for the team. I''ve been in 100 meter ice dashes, 200 meters fire steps, the 500 meter swamp circuit. To even a full Forest Relay Race! It''s also so much fun!" ".............." "I guess the most relaxing part of it was that club was made up of mostly children with mixed backgrounds or heritage. We have a Half-Giant who is good with Magical shot put. A Tiefling girl who is excellent at pole vaulting over quicksand pits. And a Lizardboy who is great with barrel gymnastics and ribbon dancing, as well as other different species children. I specializedin all-terrain foot racing! We were all the cream of the crop!" "....................." "... You can add lib every now and then. Nello." "Puwaaaaah! S-sorry." "Such a good boy. Tee-hee." Pastrache happily (but honestly reluctantly) rubbed the vegetable oil all over her clothing and then carefully wrapped it around Nello''s cannon. It was done in a delicate manner as if she wanted to get the molding for a cast she was about to apply. Of course, such advance level of medicine was not common practice, even if it was, the cost to have one is the same as getting plastic surgery in our world. (#BeGratefulForMedicalCoverage) Once she covered his entire nose from muzzle to the joint that connected to his turret head, the Half-Elf took a step back to admire her masterpiece. To top it off, she gave it a thumbs up the same way a Master Painter would when checking to see if the painting was up to scale. (#LittleRembrandt). "So? Does it feel better?" "....... It feels sticky." "Yeah. I was bothered by it at first. I thought my mother had a fetish for oil play on her own daughter, but it actually helped to cure any muscle tension after a long day of running. And, it makes my feetsuper smooth... It''s a win-win formula!" ".....What''s oil play?" "Sh-sh*t! I spoke too much!" Before the Tank could go down the line where a child would repeat the question of ''Dad, what''s a hooker'', Pastrache patted the Russian Tank on the armored track to make him forget what was spoken. With nothing else to do, the Half-Elf decided to take a break and kicked off her own boots, to sit across the bank of the Lake and watch the Daimond Dalmon swim about under the surface. "Thank you Big Sis. I really appreciate it." "Anything for my Nello! Now, praise me!" "Big Sis is amazing! And super smart!" "Yes! Praise me more! Oh-ho-ho!" After giving off an evil laugh, the Half-Elf Girl ended up rolling onto her back and lie across the soft green grass. Not bothering to take off her clothing, she basked in the warmth of the sun and felt the cool spring sping breeze massage her skin.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. This was para-- "Um...Big Sis. If you''re here now... then what happened to school?" "I''ve already graduated. I barely passed Mathematics, but I survived. Now, I''m a grown woman who can make her own legal decisions and take on jobs as a great Adventurer. Yo~ho~, yo~ho~, an Adventurer''s life for me!" "Then.......What happened to the Track and Field Club... won''t they be sad if you left them?" ".................................................................." "B-Big Sis?" "I didn''t leave them, Nello.....We all graduated from school... We all had to leave the club eventually." "But-but that''s not right. All of you were the best!" "Yes, that''s true. Back in those days. Now, they have new members taking over and grooming better sportsman. But honestly, you can''t stop time. Especially when we grow up into the real world." It was Nellos turn to stay quiet. He took in those words as carefully as anyone could hold a baby chick in their palm. The struggle for him, was like that same someone trying to keep that excited chick from falling out of their palms.
"...Did something bad happen?" "No, no, no. Silly. We grew up. That''s it. As we grew older, we spent less and less time training in the track and field club, to focus on our studies so we can finish school. If we didn''t, we would have to repeat and that was bad." "... Oh." "Besides... it was only a matter of time, before everyone started to pick up other interests." "H-how so?" "You know that Half-Giant I mentioned. The one good with magical shot-put. Yeah, he''s getting into the Agriculture field right now, taking part in the major Forest Restoration Project in the South that was wiped out by Pine Beetle Infestation." "Hooooh." "Then the Tiefling who was good at polevaulting over quick sand... Poor girl, she got into a wagon accident before graduating, she couldn''t run let along jump over a ridiculously high vault. So she turned her eyes towards teaching. I think she''s hired as a teacher in our old school now. At least, she''s the supervisor of our school''s rowing club, so that''s a good note for her." "Woooooow.......Then...What about the Lizard man? The one who was good with dancing with ribbons?" "...................Oh good question. Whatever happen to that guy.........What was his name again?" Nello turned his turret head to the side. With all the wet and oil covered clothing wrapped around his nose, he can''t move it down. But he still had his DT Machine gun to aim low at Pastrache''s lying body, so he could ''see'' better. She had this genuine look of memory loss. "..........I...can''t remember... but I recall him saying something about wanting to run his own restaurant, based on food and cooking styles from the Island Nations in the East.... I wonder if he''s cutting up Tuna right now. Hmm... no clue." ".......What''s a tuna..." Nello waited for a response, but he didn''t get one. Hearing no answer from Pastrache, he though he stepped on a land mine and decided to stay quiet. There was no point in pushing onto a subject he thought wa supersentivie.. When really, Pastrache was too deep in thought to have heard him." "..............Nello. Have you.... every been to school, from where you come from? Back in Stalingard or your original world?" "..... What''s school?" That''s a no... "Then... did you have anything related to, you know, learning... Like when you train to become a soldier?" "... I-I don''t know. The moment the factory workers put my head to my body, I woke up. At that time, I couldn''t move like I can now so I let them do whatever they want me to while welding on my legs. By the time I had wheels and they put on all of my armor, the crew would drive me out of the factory." "And that''s where your training begin?" "I think so. The second I left the factory doors, I was already shooting at a German Tank in front of me." "............................................................................" "Um...It''s hard to say whether or not I learned anything. The crew mostly took control over me, and they would move wherever they wanted to go. Behind buildings, through stores... I only remember following where they want to aim my nose and shooting lots............................... I don''t think I had any training or education at all... Hmm." ".... I-I''m sorry Nello. I-I didn''t mean to bring the matter up like that. I, I thought you... like me had...school....." "No, no. It''s okay Big Sis... I''m a soldier. I was born to fight my enemies that want to attack my homeland...Stalingrad was where I was born. My life is to defend it, even when I get punched in the face........ I just feel super bad I was only able to fight five days. A lot of my tank brothers were counting on me for support so........Sigh." A hand reached out and touched the side of the armored vehicle. This caused the Tank to turn its turret head more and look down at the one who touched him with his Anti-infantry gun. It was not o deter the physical gesture, more like he wanted to see who it was. Confirming his thoughts. "Nello. To me, you''re always a strong and brave boy." "Uwa-uwa-uwa. B-Big Sis is making my heart flutter." "I''m serious. You''re been a great friend since the day we met many months ago... We''ve been through so much. You taught me how to become a better Ranger... I even have my own custom class because of you. I''m grateful." "R-really? I-I didn''t do anything special!" "Nello. You''re cute as you are. Don''t worry about being seen as weak or a burden." "B-Big Sis?" Pastrache smiled and rubbed her hand across the side armor of the T-34 Tank. "I love you, Nello!" "I-I love you too Big S--" *SPLAT!* "GMMMMFFFFFFFFFF!? MMMMMM!" "...Ah. M-my nose... your clothing..." Nello did something that most people would want to do, and that was to hug those that offered great support to their sole person. He didn''t have arms, but he so wanted to express that overflowing emotion that was welling up in his hollowed ody. So, he turned his turret all the way, to smack the Half-Elf with his nose. Splashing the pile of clothing dipped in water and vegetable oil all over her face. Like a series of heavy wet towels. "G-guufffffmmmmmggg! Ammmgggfffff!" "... Oh no! Big Sis is suffocating from her wet shirts! Help! Help! Someone help! Anne! Anne! Quick come out and help Big Sis before she psses out!" And so, these are the new beginnigs of Nello and Pastrache''s bizarre adventure in a transmigrated world. Feel free to laugh.
[April Fools 2019] - The First Prank, Between Warring Sisters (Not States) Once upon a time, in another world working parallel to our own, in a reality where a tank is reincarnated as the hero of this story of fantasy and adventure. A certain Half-Elf Big Sister - F**ked up big time... She has been warned... "Dear Diary... I haven''t told you this before, but I believe this is the right time to tell you the truth...." [___TGBWSX___WHATBITCHUJM___?????] "... I''m actually your mother." [..................................................TGB?......] ".........PFFFFFFFFFT! PA-HA-HA-HAAAA! AVRIL''S JESTERDAY! HA-HA-HA!" [.............................................................................RFV?...] "Gyaah-haa! Y-you should have seen the look on your face! I-it was priceless! D-did you actually believe my body was capable of popping out an artificial intelligence program like you between my legs! I-I mean look at my stomach! Do you see any stretch mark on me? Ha-ha-ha!..." [................................................WSX...] "...C-come on, i-it''s funny, r-right? It''s Avril''s Jester Day! Friends and family prank each other on such occassions, r-right? Whether it be a big brother putting scratching powder in their little sister''s dress; o-or the Big Sister adding drops of hot sauce in their little sister''s contact!.. I-it''s the time where we pick on our little siblings and make them laugh with practical jokes.......... Right?" [..................EXECUTION.] "BUGYAFFFFGGG!? F**K! MY NOSE! Y-YOU ACTUALLY BROKE MY NOSE!Gow! Sh*t! M-my eye! I can''t see! W-what''s got into you, D-Diary! Y-you''re supposed to laugh it off with finger guns f-from such ridiculous jokes! N-not use me like a punching bag! Gebbfff! Oouyugh! N-not below the belt! My internal organs are being crushed! Gefff! U-Uncle! A-Aunty! S-Stop! I give up! I GIVE UP!" [WSXQAZ___TGBYHN___PEOPLESELBOWRFCEDX!] "GYAAAAAAAAAH!...My fifth lumbaaaaaaaaar!" Anne wished she was a real girl. She believed that if she had a physical body, with real flesh and bones, she would increase her damage output with her melee stats. Particularly, she would be able to double the stats of her fist and feet. However, she failed to realize that she was only a inhuman holographic projection, from an artificial intelligence system. It''s the fact she is inorganic, her base STR and IMPACT scores were beyond the limits of a human being. Her body need not worry about holding back to avoid breaking bones or tearing muscles. In other words, she can go ham on the delinquent Half-Elf girl and nothing can stop her. Anne could essentially kick and punch Pastrache Mooneye for 10 hours straight and never get tired. "E-enough! Bugyafff! I-I said stop hitting me, I-I''m so--GGBFFFFB! M-MY MOUTH! N-NOT MY MOUTH! I-IT STILL HAS USES IN THE FUTURE! POOGYGAGFF! F**K! M-MY OTHER EYE! I-I SERIOUSLY CAN''T SEE NOW!" [TGB__WSX___QAZ___FUKPLMQAZ____!!!!!] "I-I said I was sorry! Milady Diary, I-I was just jesting with you on this gl-glorious holiday! D-don''t everyone just up and give each other crude pranks! I-it should be something worth remembering, n-not worth hitting--Gebffffff!!!!" More importantly, Anne wished she had a real working voice. So she could properly curse at her owner with all her heart. But she had to make do and suffice with beating the sh*t out of the Half-Elf Girl who was now curled up on the ground, hugging her head from the assault. As they were in the middle of a forest next to the Lake House, there was no one there to hear the Half-Elf Scream. Not even a certain T-34-85 Russian Tank... because the Big Sister asked him to get her a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... Or... rather, she was trickedtodayinto believing there was gold at the end of the rainbow, and thought her little brother tank was faster to grab the pot before it disappeared... Doesn''t matter. She''s still a bad girl today. "Sh...shtoooop...I...i cannbuu...b..breaffff....Gugggg! M...my funnngs....cobbbabsbpp...." [....................................BITCHWSXYGV] "...I...I showbeee...I...I didn''t m...meanfffth tooo......." [EDCTGB____LIARPKM] "Of...of honeshly...I...Ibu shaw ab f-famibily dobu thaa shame thingbu...i..itbb was shupposhed to beeef funnn''bfff..." (H-honestly, I saw a family do the same thing to each other... it was supposed to be funny...right?) [.........................................................] "...Pleaf...donbut hibfff---" (Please don''t hit--) Before the Half-Elf could finish with ''me''... she suffered the pain that all guys feel on a daily basis. A girl''s drop kick to the groin. "¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Inaudible sound) [53 63 72 65 77 20 79 6f 75 20 62 2a 74 63 68 !!!!!!!] Please do not convert that from Hex to text... you''ve been warned. "Anne. What''s wrong? You look mad." [WSX___QAZ___TGB___SHUTUPIJB] "I-I still can''t understan¡ªGOW!? S-Stop kicking me in the tracks! It hurts!" Anne the Hologram Girl abandonned her owner to bleed her life out and think over what she had done. In her rage, she happened to cross path with a certain Russian Tank. He just so happened to come back from his run to the nearest end of the rainbow. An odd pot of gold coins hanging from his cannon. "D-did something bad happen? Are you mad at Big Sis again? Whatever she did today, she''s innocent. Oka--GOW! DO-DON''T STOMP ON MY TUMMy! IT''S SUPER SENSITIVE!" The Tank from Our Reality''s World War 2 was three times, nay - five times bigger than the little holographic girl who resembled a blue colored five year old. It carried a cr*p ton of armor that was specialized in deflecting shots from tank rounds and was able to withstand several volleys of artillery barrages and still march through. Although not the strongest during its time, it was the most frightening in the roster of heavy armor weaponry. It was strong enough to give German Tanks a run for their money. Yet somehow, this little girl made out of a digital projection was kicking that frightening tank around, giving him a run for his own money. "Do you know where Big Sis is? I-I got the golden pot she asked me to grab from the rainbow. It was really scary. At first, I thought was going to be eaten by a scary fog monster, but I met with this pretty lady with green hair and lots of four leaf clovers on her body. She was super nice to me, and she was really happy to play with me. She kept calling me a fattened leprechaun, whatever that is. The nice cloverlady gave me some of her gold as thank you for making her happy! Isn''t it shiny!?" [................................................] "...So...Where''s Big Sis?" [UHBTFC____BURIEDWSX] "Heh? Shopping? Hmm... I guess that''s what she''ll do whenever you hit her." [.........................TGB___!!!!!] "GOW! PLEASE DON''T KICK ME ANY MORE! I-IT REALLY HURTS MY ARMOR!" It was unclear how a little holographic projection could harm a tank. However, it was evident her actions were seriously affecting the massive weapon of destruction, seeing how he was already retreating backwards to escape her kicking range. Maybe, it might be the fact she was ''inorganic'' material, that her attack points doubled when facing another ''inorganic'' material... Hard to say, only the Goddess of Combat Mechanics System Maintenance would be able to answer that. Feel free to ask forher guidance, she likes to be called Lola. And don''t forget a bottle of 1867 Pinot Noir... Oh, oh, oh, and Whiskey Bon Bons! [EDCTGB______MADYHN] "W-wait! Wait! I-I know Big Sis can sound mean somtimes, b-but she really loves us both. She treats me like a little brother, and you a little sister! I-I''m not sure how it works, but I heard from the Russian Crew who onced drove me, that they would pick on their younger siblings too. For sport!" [.................LIARQAZYHN] "...Although, they said something about solving most of their disputes wih Russian Roullette, so... I really don''t understand why they like laughing at that comment." [........................................................UHB...] "Hmm? Wh-what is it Anne? H-heh? You want me to come close? .... I-I dont know, you''re going to kick me..... Hmm? You promise you won''t kick me... Oh? You''re pointing at my nose? What''s on my no--GUBYAAAAGFFFG!" As promised, the Holographic Girl did not use her small blue feet to kick him. Once she culled the innocent Battle Tank to lower his nose to her height, she delivered a beautiful uppercut with her fist right under the ''chin'' the barrel. The entire length shot up, a full 90 degrees. The same way an idiot steps on the teeth of a rake... ... It never came back down. "...IT''SSTUCK! MY NOSE IS STUCK! HELP! BIG SIS! HEEEEEEEELP!" Like a hero and an explosion, Anne turned away from the shower of gold coins, a flailing tank, and a falling brass pot as she cooly exited the scene with stomping bare holographic feet. [EDCTGB___ADOPTMEYHN___NOWPKM] "... Um...Are you lost, little girl? Tell this Constable where are your parents?" [YHNOKN____IDIOT] Anne wanted to get away from it all. The bullying, the teasing, the the constant habit of people misunderstanding her garbled up radio voice. Having had enough of that life as being someone''s diary, she decided to spend the rest of her battery life wisely. That meant marching into a certain capital city and starting a new life on her own. Like a child starting their first year in college. ...However, the first obstacle she came across after sneaking through the 50 meter walls via water vents... was a certain Royal Constable who was looking down on her. Obviously, not in a rude way. "Um... My name is George...Constable George Crabapple...What''s yours?" [YHB____GETLOST___RFVWSX] "Yes, I-I am aware that you are lost and you don''t know where your parents are. That''s okay. If you stay with me, we''ll go back to the station house and see if we can sent a, a couple of officers to look for them. How do they look like, your mother and father?" [LEFTWSX___RIGHTQAZ] "...What? I-I can''t understand---GOWH!" To answer the Royal Constable''s question about how her ''parents'' look like, she bowed to kick at the Constable''s left and right shin - in rapid succession. It was like playing a game of telegram. Once she finished sending the Morse Encoded message through the officer''s tibia bones, she folded her arms to wait for him to respond.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. "H-hey there now, young lady. Th-that''s in direct violation of assaulting an police constable. I-I don''t want to do this but I may be forced to arrest you. I hope you understand the consequ--OW! P-PLEASE! S-STOP KICKING ME! I-I HAVE NO PROTECTION BETWEEN MY LEGS! OW!" Anne didn''t give three f**ks. And the maximum people wouldn''t give in our world was two. Venting out some sort of hidden frustration, she proceeding to kick and punch at the Royal Constable who was two times taller than herself. She didn''t even make it past the height of his belt. Yet she was throwing wonderful left and right hooks and danced around as if she was in a middle-weight boxing championship. Based on the killer intent in her eyes, she would surely win the championship title in one round. "A-are you upset that you can''t find your parents? O-or angry that they left you behind to do other things kids...can''t join in on? I-I can''t tell the difference if you don''t explain to me properly! OW!" [EDCTGBYHN___VICTORYWSXUJM] "Pl-please! C-cease and desist or I''ll ---Gowh! Stop it! Owwh! A-alright! Alright, wh-what do you want? I''ll give you anything, even my pocket change! What!?" The Royal Constable wished his shift would end. That way, he had the right to go back home and let another constable take care of this rampant little tornado called a lost child. Despite having experience in throttling rowdy men fresh from bars, or wrestling one big bartender after another in a sticky tavern brall, there was one thing he swore he would never do and that was to raise a hand to a child. RIght now, he was only a hair-breath away from breaking that vow and go ham on spanking this little... ghostly brat. [...........................................FOODTGB] "Come again?" To make sure the man understood what she wanted, Anne gave the Constble one last kick in the shin, before pulling his uniform to turn to the direction she was pointing. A small wagon selling hand-held hot meals to childlen and young adults. [WSXRFV____HOTDOGQAZ___WANTNOWPKM.] ".... Are you sure? Frankly, they look really expensive... and now that you mention it, I should check if this man has a proper license or something." [.......QAZ_____NOWYHNUHB!] "GOW!--OKAY! I-I SURRENDER! S-STOP HITTING ME! I''LL GET YOU A HOT DOG!!...WHAT, TWO!? D-DON''T BANKRUPT ME! I''M ONLY PAID ONE GOLD PER DAY!---OKAY! OKAY! THREE HOT DOGS! THREEEEE!" ...It was rest assured that the streets of Londonbabi was kept safe that day... At least a little tornado wasbusy stuffing her face with five hot dogs, with lots of mustard and ketchip. No pickles. "...I''m sorry, but this Guild only allows people above the age of 17... I highly doubt you''re even past 5." [TGB___BITCHWSX____!!!!!!!____OWUHB!] "Little girl. Please don''t kick my desk. I don''t want to pay for the damages." The little Hologram Girl finished her five hot dogs. Then, she got bored and started to explore around the big city. Regardless of the fact she was the color of astral projection blue from head to toe, no one gave five f**ks about a little phantom girl wandering around in broad daylight (that''s more f**ks than earth). Maybe it was the fact many of these people were or had been Adventurers... and we all know they''ve seen some serious, serious sh*t, both living and the undead.Seeing another phantom like Anne was really nothing awe-inspiring... maybe that''s why the horror film industry in this city was declining. Because of those statistics and the environmental evidence, a certain Dwarf Clerk was not amused that such phenomon was glaring at her from behind the desk... Anne was too short to be properly seen under the desk... and this was a Dwarf woman she was speaking to. [TGBYHN___ADOPTMEWSX___NOWQAZ] "Little girl. Please fix your auto-translation device. I don''t care if it sounds cool to speak in another language, frankly, I only speak common. Even if you try and speak Dwarven to me all I hear is noise. So please, either correct your issues or simply get out." [......................TCHWSX__!!!!] Given the fact the Dwarf Clerk was protected by the walls of her desk, it left the Living Diary alimitedamount of offensive options. She could chance climbing up that wall, going over the top of a trench like a valiant Soldier of the Western Front... but she knew ahead of time that the Dwarf Clerk will only push her off with a flick of her finger to the nose. Not to mention, she didn''t dare to test if her inorganic body could phase through iron such as the iron mace that the Dwarf Woman had on her desk. Guess she came in at a bad time, the Guild Clerkhad justfinished lecturing another rude newbie transmigrated from Earth. Some blood on her face put her in a bad mood. "Like I said, I cannot register you to our Adventuring Guild if you''re this young. It''s not about size, we have members who are tinier than you, or even as tall as 15 cm and you can slip into your pocket. It''s all about legal age, if you''re below the requirement, I can''t help you. So go home and eat cookies, or text, whatever you children do these day to kill valuable time!" [..................TEXTRFV___?????____TEACHMEIJMPOKN] "I don''t know what you said, but it felt like you were trying to egg me on to do something evil. As you can see, I''m very busy. Do you not notice the mountain of paperwork I have to process? The Guild Manager is still occupied with fooling around with his third and fourth mistress at the same time. There are about 99.99% documents that require his signature... Frankly, this lack of efficiency irritates me." [............TGB__?????] The Hologram Girl tilted her head. Despite acting like a know it all, there were moments in her digital life where she didn''t understand matters that were obvious to most people. For instance, why would someone be seeing two different girls at the same time? He''s married right, he should only be seeing his wife no matter how she looks or act. Wouldn''t that be called infedelity?That was what Anne was thinking right now. As if noticing this thought pattern, the Dwarf Clerk let out a long and tired sigh. The name ''E. Cogez'' glinted on her name badge. "Look, I don''t know why you''re here staring at me. If you want a place to stay, this Guild Hall cannot lend out rooms to people who are not registered members. At most, I could ask the chef to cook you something... but since it''s Asiatic Themed tonight, you might be eating pickled PorcupineBoar knuckles and Ivory Swallow Nest Gel for Dessert... Are you alright with that?" [.........................................HOTDOGUHBTFC] "Again, it''s Asiatic themed tonight. At most, the closest thing to an Oriental Frankfurt are preserved Cockatrice Liver sausages and Jumping Fish balls... The combination alone has already murdered my appetite." [..................................PASSTGB] "Wise choice. Now go home. I want to finally eat my lunch before my dinner break." [.......WANTJOINYGV] "Please kindly get the f**k out." "Hey little sis...... I haven''t told you this before, but I think today is the right time to tell you... I''m actually your mother." "...........But mommy''s right here... right?.... Right?" Anne felt the world crashed around her. Right after being kicked out of a certain Guild, the first thing she saw was a small family of one mother and two girls walking down the cobblestone street. They were carrying baskets of groceries, propbably tonight''s dinner. Pot Roast Boar with Potato Vulcan Stew with Rosemary Feathers... (Narrator drools) The Hologram Girl didn''t know what that was, neither would she know what it tasted like... but that wasn''t impotant. What struck her harder than a hammer to the head... was those words the tomboy big sister said to her pigtail sibling. "It''s true, lil sis! I got laid by a handsome frog prince and gave birth to you!" "... Mommy!? Mommy!? Is this why you keep telling me you don''t know how daddy looks like!? Was it because he was a frog!?" "JUBILEE! WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU TELLING TO YOUR LITTLE SISTER!?" Anne recoiled, at the booming voice of the ''mother'' of the two girls. The older one stuck out her tongue to ruffle up the hair of the shorter girl with pigtails. All the while the woman looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel in her brain. "That is a terrible joke! To say your father was a toad! Does it look like I can biologically adapt to a toad''s pe.... ........ You''re grounded! For a whole month!" "Come on, now Mom. It''s just a joke. Besides, it''s Avril''sJester Day! Psyche!" "...Mommy...If Daddy is a frog then...does that make me... a frog. too.....uaaaaaaah! I-I don''t like froooooogs!" "Geg!? N-now, now, Victoria, it''s okay! Don''t cry, don''t cry--WHAT THE F**K JUBILEE!" "Calm down, calm down. It''s only natural I should tease little Vickers every now and then, right? Besides, it''s what loving Big Sisters do right?" [.....................................TGB__?????..........] Anne didn''t need to say anything. Even if she did, she was sure no one will listen or understand her. Pastrache didn''t understand her. Nello didn''t uderstand her. Neither the Constable or Dwarf Clerk could understand her. No one truly understood what she really wanted... [________FUKTGB_______] Realizing that simple idea... Anne bit her lip and kicked a rock across the cobblestone. Its velocity was enough to bounce off the rocks in the ground as if the surface of a water. *PAK!* "OW! SON OF A B*TCH! WHO THREW.........that...." [.......................................B-BITCHWSXUJN___?????] Anne jumped. There was no need to really. She was a living construction of advanced artificial intelligence that could produce an astral body. She may not able to phase through everything like rock and concrete, but could potentially slip through some cracks in the wall (so longas it wasn''t laced with Kryptonite or Cortosis). Fundamentally, she had no fight or flight response. Not like a regular human. That was why there was no need for the girl to jump on the spot as if startled like a real child. Yet, her body behaved like a real child, regardless of the lack of feeling. That, or maybe something deep in her heart was so strong it jump started her programming with a physical shock. So when she turned to see a certain Half-Elf standing behidn her, massaging her shin from the rock... the Living Diary wanted to flee more than fight. [...................CHICKENFEATHERQAZPLM____??????] "Gaah! I-it''s still in my hair and bosom! Pfffuuuu! Pfffuuuu! L-long story, ptooo! I was looking for you all over. I thought your book bodywas eaten by chickens and I...well... ended up picking a fight with their whole coop gang... Sh*t, th-their feathers are still stuck in my corset! I-it''s rubbing between my packages and it feels terrible! KYAAA! TH-THE STEMS ARE PRODDING ME!!" [..............IDIOTYHNRFV___!!!!!!] "A-anyway, that''s not the point. I-I''m here after walking 10 miles worth of distance to-to tell you...... to tell you that... I..." [................LAZYTGBYHNWSX____TCHQAZ] "...L-look. I know saying sorry isn''t going to cut it. Especially after what I said this morning. A-and I know we can''t hug it out like a family would and......No, no, no. Th-that''s not what I wanted to say first!" [................................................?????] "...F**k it. I''m sorry." [............................................................................................................] "I''m really sorry." [............................................................................................................] "I...I was an idiot. I saw two sisters this morning, using the same prank that I copied this morning. In the end, they laughed it off, and they hugged saying they love each other, I... I thought....... I''m sorry for not considering the consquences for such a stupid and ridiculous prank." [...........................................................................................................] "... Dad gave you to me since I was able to walk... I''ve cherished you and kept you close to me. I told you all my secrets, my happiness... my pain... especially when Dad suddenly disappeared... I-I really wanted to repay you for all of your patience towards me." [................................................D....DAD.....] "Yeah... Our Dad... The same man who made both of us... one through my mother... and by his hands. He told me how he partially made you after recovering your book body from some ancient ruins near the sea... He took great care of you, and asked me to do the same..." [.................................................A...Aaah.......Aaahhh...] A small sound of a mechnically whine started to buzz in the air. It was hard to tell where it came from. Was it the engine of some magical machine grinding meat into grounded beef? Could it be this new radio-like device that was trying to find the right channel to a cooking broadcast. Or could it be those new magical toys the shape of a compact mirror that could watch pre-recorded animations on the glass? ... None of those mechanical items matched that awkward sound... only the Living Diary was the possible source. Her shoulders were shaking. "....................Diary, I never told you this before... There really was never a good time to tell you..." [..........................NOTGB...DONTHEARQAZ...] "I love you, my Diary." [...........................Tzzz.......Tzzzzzz.......Kchzzzz.....Kukzzzzzzz.] The sound of static filled the air. The same kind when an electrical unit comes into contact with water or moisture and its sensitive components short circuits. That sparking and blitzing when it burns up and no longer could function. Anne, the Living Diary, was making those odd noises and flashing sparks, as tears flooded from her holographic eyes. "...Y...you''re... crying." [SHUTUPTGB!] "Y...you''re really hurt... aren''t you?" [NOWSX___LIESQAZ__FUKERPLM__HATEUJN!] *Plop* "...Diary... Please forgive me." [.......................NOWSX___FAIRTGB__SNIFFTZZZZZ] A third sound was made that day, something soft and bouncing. It felt like the sweeping of arms to swallow another body, pulling it into a tight embrace. Heart pressed against heart. That, was what Pastrache Mooneye did exactly for her beloved Diary, Anne. ".................I promise, I won''t say cruel things like that again." [.....L...LIARPLM....LIARYGV...L........] And a pair of tiny blue arms returned the embrace... hating itself for not being able to cover the whole of the Half-Elf''s back. "...Let''s go back... to Nello. He must be lonely without us." [.......NOQAZ] "Hmm? Wh-what''s wrong? A-are you still not satisified with my apology?... O...okay tell you what, Big Sister deserved it. She was a bad girl today on Avril''s Jester Day so... For today only... you get a free punch on---" Pastrache Mooneye, Level 15+ Adventurer, did not get a chance to finish her innocent sentence... Because a certain Living Diary swung the most beautiful right hook in the history of boxing¡ª right where the Half-Elf could make a baby if she ever married. ... Trust Anne, it hurts like h*ll. "¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Inaudible sound) [...............VICTORYTGBQAZ____!!!!!!!!!!] ~~FIN
Happy Avril''s Jester Day
[VOL.3] (1st_Memory) - A Maidens Mid-Summer Nightmare "Daddy! Daddy! I shot the bull''s @ss! Praise me!" "...Bull''s eye, sweety. Bull''s eye." Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was no taller than a tavelleing boot. Although she was small, she had this big wide grin on her round baby face. Due to her short hair, her pointed ears were poking out from the side of her head. However, they weren''t as developed or as long as the splendid ears of a man who was on his knees, doting over the tiny creature with a hand on her fluffy head. "So what did you learn today my darling?" "If I put my mind to it, I can kick people''s @ss!" "Ha-ha-ha! That''s my little girl! One day, you will grow up to become a fine adventurer!" "Yeah, yeah! I want to be strong like daddy!" "No. That''s not the way to go, pumpkin. When daddy was younger, he was the strongest man alive. No one could touch him. All of his battles would end with one punch!" "Wow! That''s super cool!" "But because the epic battles are always so short, there is no sense of fulfillment. Being the strongest, feels absolutely lonely." "................................................................................." "... It''s okay, Babykins. You don''t have to look at me with such a scared look. Being the strongest doesn''t mean you''re facing the boogie man or monsters under your bed." "B-but there really ARE monsters under my bed! Last night, you just beat up something with lots of wavy arms. You know the one that looks like an octopus with bajillion eyes!" "Tentacles. And that''s what we call a wild Shoggoth. Aaaah, now that I think about it. I may have jumped the gun. Ever since your mother told me about the Fisherman''s Dream, where the wife has this explicit affair with an octopus, I became super sensitive. I shouldn''t have beat the shi---I mean dirt out of the poor guy. Turns out he was lost and wanted to stay warm from the snow outside." ".... Daddy''s super cool!" "Ah, that''s my doodlge bug! Come and give papa a big bug-bear hug! Hoo-aaah!" "Hoo-aaah! *Glomp*" The little Elf girl hugged the man''s shin. Because that''s how tall she was. There was no way her tiny arms could wrap around his waist, even if he was as fit as an actor who stars in impossible missions. With a small sigh, the Elf man reached down his hand to rub the litlte girl''s fluffy head and delicious bed hair. His palm swallowed the entire circumference of her skull. "... One day, I know you will grow up to be a beautiful woman. Just like your mother... only, hopefully taller than one meter." "Why is Mommy so small? She never told me, why is that?" "To this day, it''s still a mystery. I''ve yettocrack the intel out of her with in our passionate interrogations. Even in blindfold play, she''s a strong one." "........Can I try Blindfold play too!?" "N-NO! I-I mean, cough, n-no.I-it''s not the same asswinging a stick to hit a paper mache doll to spill out guts and candy. O-or pinning a snake head to a chimera''s rear." ".... Ooooooh. Still can I play?" "............................Maybe when you''re old---No, no. Mommy will strangle me if I suggest a passionate night for 2+1." "Oh! I know the answer, I know the answer! That''s 156!" "..... I love you Snuggle Bunny!" "Yay! Praise me more! Praise me more!" "Hey dad, I want to ride your wild stallion." "Hmm? You mean my Fantasia Mount? But it''s level 200... Are you sure you can handle it!?" It has been some time, apparantly. It was made obvious seeing the boot-sized little Elf Girl being raised as tall as a mountain bicycle. Of course, she was not old enough to ride something as sophisticated as two wheels meant for mountainous terrain, especially when she never even had her first training wheel session. Which is why Elf Man had this worried look on his face, when he exchanged glances between the bicycle high girl... ...And the Giraffe like creature he was grooming in the family stables. ......For those of you who do not know, Giraffes are real, they from Africa. The best way to describe how big they are, is equivalent to the ladder of a fire track - at full stretch... No, their necks do not retract. That would be silly. Hence the reason behind Elf Man''s frown. "... Little Kitten, I don''t think you''re ready to even think about using my Magical Mount. It''s been a while since he had a good gallop, or a good romp in the sack with a mate, so it''s incredible frustrated. Also, unless you are me or a beautiful maiden, it will not let you ride on top of him like a dog." "What do you mean? I''m beautiful right? You said so yourself!" "I apologize for lying to you all this time dolly but....... You look like a boy." "Fine, I''ll stop cutting my hair with knife." "Thank the goddess! Your mother was forcing me to abstain from her love until I figure out how to make you stop using my workship tools to cut your own hair!" "...... For the next week." "God d*mn it dumpling. Do you want a little brother or not?" "Nein." "D-don''t say ''No'' to daddy in a foreign language. It may sound cool but everyone is giving you wierd looks!" "Danke!" "You don''t even know what that means, do you?" "...... Obviously not ''up yours too'', daddy." "WHO HAS BEEN TEACHING YOU THESE REBELLIOUS WORDS!?" As much as the Elf Man loved the little Elf girl, he had no choice but to pluck her off her ground, leaving her boots on the ground, and give her a good spanking. After a full hour and half, he would carefully insert her bare feet back into the boots that were stuck in the mud. Like a sword into a scabbard. The little Elf Girl as tall as a bicycle looked like she wanted to cry, but her pride won''t let her. "... It''s okay to cry hunny bun. Girls are allowed to cry." "I''m a man!" "Then try pee standing up--THAT WAS RHETORICAL, D-DON''T TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!" A political crisis was averted when the Elf Man plucked up the little Elf Girl again and forcefully tied up the strings on her pants into such a complex knot. Not even a demolition specialist would know how to pull it apart. When the girl''s feet was slipped back into her boot, she had this defiant look on her face. "Jiggle bug... why is my hand and lap all wet... wait.. ammonia?" "...... I...really needed to go..." "F**k." After saying that word, the Elf Girl asked what that word to her mother... his father received lots of whipping afterwards and it was not the ones that would make him happy. "Hey Dad. I want to ride a submarine one day!" "... Don''t tell me, you went behind your mother''s back and bought one of those violent books from the market right?" "Yeah. There was this man who said he came from Earth and told me lots of cool things that people from his world have that we don''t. To make sure that no one thought he was crazy, he gave me this book about large military ships. Can I keep it?" "Aren''t you forgetting to add, ''the book followed me home'' part?" ".........Dad. I''m 12 human years old. I''m not an idiot." "I''ve been telling your mother that, but she still pulls on my nose every time I have a serious discussion about our finances...She needs to stop being a princess again and cease to splurge on buying shoes! I don''t care if they''re on half price! No one in their right mind wears glass for house slippers!" Many years later, two maybe, there was a change in the lifestyle of a certain Half-Elf Girl and a Half Elf man. The girl was no longer the size of a boot or a bicycle, but she was already the height of a regular 12 year old. Even though she was called the tallest girl in her Fantasy Grade 7 class, she has yet to experience her all-awaited growth spurt. For the past year, she would measure herself with a classic crayon. She didn''t loss height, but didn''t gain it either......Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Maybe that''s why she still has this frown on her face, despite hugging such an important book in her arms. "Miss Jellybean. We''ve talked about this. No talking to shady people trying to sell you mystery packages, or buying random items from the Ethereal Net Drive. You''ll never know when the product is defective or used for criminal purposes." "Then how come you keep ordering stuff to make mommy wear?" "Because costume-playmakes people happy. And fortunately for your mother, she loves to wear fancy dresses like she used to do during her Ball-going days." "...Did you tell here only crazy people wear that cr*p?" "Ssssssssssh! I-it''s been my secret desire for the last 15 years, don''t break the World Record!" "Then stop calling me all sorts of random pet names. My real name is Pastrache! Pa-stra-che!" "Calling you pet names is cuter that way! Goosie-goose!" "WHO THE F**K CALLS THEIR 12 YEAR OLD ELF GIRL A GOOSE!? A-ARE YOU CURSING ME TO FATTEN UP!?" The Elf Girl let out a sigh, because she was swept across the Elf Man''s lap and was spanked violently. She said the ''F'' word, so she deserved it. No, the F did not stand for Food. ".......I...I can''t feel my butt." "I told you not to use that kind of language in the house! Your mother will strangle me if she thinks I''m the one who has been corrupting you!" "You''re the one who drinks beer in front of a minor and cusses like a sailor at will!" ".... That''s your mother''s fetish. Don''t blame me. Cough" "Nice try dad. Because I''m of legal age, I''ve been connectedto the Mythic Notification System. My Base Charisma is higher than your Bluff Check." "VER-D*MMIT!" "Hey, didn''t you once told me ''speaking in another lanaguage doesn''t make you cool, people will think you''re stupid''? Who''s the Cart pulling the horse now!?" The Elf Man wanted to say something, pull at his hair even. However, one hand was covered in an oven mitt, his other hand was equipped with a spatula of Cooking Speed+1, and he was armored with an apron of Oil Resistance+5. No matter what angle one would look at him, he looked like a stay-at-home Dad through and through. It even has ''Dad''s Are Awesome'' on his apron... but some little f**ker in her rebellious phase added an arrow pointed to (NOT) in between ''Are'' and ''Awesome''... like some kind of messed up movie title. "...Anyway back to the main matter at hand. I want to ride a submarine." "Cupcake, you can''t. Submarines don''t exist. That man who claims he is a new hero in a transmigrated world is lying to you. There is no such thing as ships that could swim under the water like a big@ss whale. It looks stupid." "But the guy has all the science and details figured out! See, even the physics notation, the mechanical diagrams, the original blueprints. He mentioned something about being a designer for the U.S. Navy during the Cold War, whatever that means, and he sounded super serious. I want to build one and ride it like a Queen!" "... So... you still haven''t given up your true childhood dream?" "Yes. I still plan on taking over the world." The Elf Girl clutching the important book let out a small nod, her short side-tail bobbing with her. To praise her for her hard efforts in world domination, the Elf Man relentlessly spanked her, pouring in every frustration he had locked up as a father with only one child. "D-d*mn it. I''m halfway to 300 years old, s-so why is my arm so sore!? I could swing a blade and kill wave after wave of Blood Orcs and even drink a glass of wine to pass the grinding hours... Yet why does my body feel like I ran my first 26 mile marathon! Sh-sh*t? I-is this real sweat on my forehead!?" "Dad. Maybe you should take a break in attempting to pop a little brother or sister from mom. She''s tired too you know." The Elf man gave one last spank to the Elf girl on his lap. Knowing it was going to be his last one, he made sure it was extra hard. "OW! I-I''M NOT MOM, DAD!" "...Sorry...I was frustrated." Somehow, the ''father and daughter'' Elf ended up ending their abrupt war, sharing a truce by sitting on two stools in the middle of their house''s kitchen. The Elf Man rested his chin on the fist equipped with the spatual of +1 cooking speed, a small frown on his face that began to wrinkle. All the while, the Elf Girl clutched onto her important looking book, as if it was a life perserver in water. "...Bitsy-boo... Why do you want to take over the world again?" "Isn''t it obvious? To make it a better place! So no one will try and kill each other or even attempt to conquer another country! I hate it when all it takes for nations to disappear is the greed of one man, be it the King of Emperor." "... Let me guess. First day at Political Science didn''t sit well with you." "Can I drop it?" "You need the extra credit to graduate." "I have the Track and Field Club! I''m the best runner there is known in our village! The club is all I need!!" "Then you''ll be 0.5 credit short from graduating." "Rat b@stards." The Elf girl growled and stomped her small foot into the tiles. As she remembered she had already removed her shoes, she regret slapping her heel into the hard ivory tiles. It was hurting now, as if she stepped on a nail (god forbid). "...........I don''t want to listen to people talk about important things, when really it''s nothing but idiots trying to backstab each other for personal gains... Even our class projects and exercises reflects on that fact. We''re either embezzling crayons or acting as a spy for another rival group...... I really hate politics." "You still need that 0.5 credit. And it''s hard to change classes now since it''s already three weeks in. Not all teachers like having a new face pop into their class, just when they''ve finally memorized everyone''s names. They''ll see you like an ex-convict or something." "....I''ll do anything." "Now, now. Don''t be that desperate. Or else people will take advantage of you." "................................................................." "......Sigh... You''re mother will hate me for suggesting this, but take Engineering." "Why wouldmom hate you for this?" "Because she wants you to become a hot nurse... or a hot doctor... maybe a hot nurse practitioner...Regardless, she said it was either that one career route... or I will have to wear a chastity belt for the rest of my Elf life..." "......................................................" "...So what I''m trying to say is...Take Engineering." "..............I love you so much, dad." "Don''t misunderstand. I want to see this submarine become a reality. So don''t make my sacrifice be in vain... I''m counting on you to save my personal life from eternal frustration." "Hmmm....Dad...It''s already noon. Didn''t you make breakfast yet?" "..............................................................." "... Oh god, please tell me you''re not trying something new with Mother. A-at least give me a warning." "....................................................................................." "... Hold up, Mom''s still in her bed. Sh-she''s the one to ask me to get Dad to make breakfast..." "...................................................................................." "Dad?" Once upon a time... rather, it was only the day after the Kitchen Affair. It was decided the Elf Man will help drop the Elf Girl out from Poltical Science, and transfer her to the Engineering Class. Having been an Adventurer meant he had a lot of friends. Friends who had either age or marriage caught up to their youth, forcing them to pursue other careers. Particularly, some monster hunters turn school teacher. With some favors owed, he was confident he could tweak theodds in his daughter''s favor. That was the plan. But it was the morning of the next day. No bed alarms were raised. No one woke her up. The teen Elf girl was forced to abandon her warm bed and cozy room, just to see why the main floor was so quiet. Normally she would hear the sounds of pots and pan clapping around, like shoes on a swinging dance floor. Cooking in full swing. Or, she would hear questionable sounds of... her parents clapping around on the counters... Loving in full swing. Either audio cues were enough to tell the Half-Elf it was just a regular day at home. But this morning... there were no sounds to tell her it was a regular day at home. Nothing. It was just too quiet. "...Dad?" "..........................................................................." "Th-this isn''t a game right? I-I''m too old to play hide and seek." ".........................................................................." "... J-just as a warning. I''m not mom. So please don''t stuff me in a burlap sack and take me down to the basement for some shady play. Y-you''ll regret ruining your daughter''s future!" "............................................................................" "Dad? Dad! C-come on, this isn''t funny any more..." ".........................................................................." "......Aahh..." The Elf Girl wanted to say ''Dad'' again... but her throat locked up. What would scare the living daylights out of her, was if she saw a pair of feet lying across the ground. That was why she was hesitant to run down the stairs. She stepped down, one by one, inching her visual stretch only inch by inch. The last step, would help her to conclude what happened in the main floor... one step... but she lacked the courage to make such a simple leap of faith. ".....Dad... I... I''m sorry about being rude to you. I-I know its a rebellious phase, I-I''ll grow out of it!" "........................................................................." "Please. I-I promise to behave... F-fine, I-I''ll wear the custom mini-skirt you''ve made for me! A-and I won''t wear shorts under it! S-scout''s honor!" "......................................................................." ".....Dad! Mom is ready to have a baby brother or sister!" The Elf Girl braced herself. Using that trump card, she was expecting a monsoon or whirlwind of a sprint to crash into her and leap up the flight of stairs to dive into her parent''s room. That split second window was the only warning she''ll get, when the Elf Man heard his Human Wife was ready for him for... passionate interrogatoins. ................................. Nothing. No one crashing into the young Elf Girl. No one popped up behind her and pulled at her side-tail to surprise her. Not even jack@ss who would roll out of a closet to hold up a sign saying you''ve been punked. No one came for that young girl who was no longer smaller than a boot or bicycle. "Dad... I love you...... Answer me..." "........................................................................." "D-Dad. It''s true, I really love you! S-so please...come back... where did you go?" "........................................................................" "Dad? I...is it because... I''m a Half-Blood... that you don''t want me?" "......................................................................" "WHETHER IT''S A TRUTH OR A LIE, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING! DAD! DAAAD! DAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" "DAD!?" "U-um. N-no, I-I''m not dad, Big Sis. I''m Nello." ".......N...Nello? Wh...what are you doing in my house? Wh-where''s mom?" "... Big Sis. You''re sleeping in my tummy." "............... Oh... Right... I''m... I''m an Adventurer now. Right. I''-I''m sorry for scaring you Nello." "I-it''s okay... but you''ve been crying out in your sleep. You even kicked my console." "I-I did? I-I''m so sorry. Wh-where on your dials or levels does it hurt?" "It''s okay Big Sis, I-I feel better now... But um... Did something bad happen?" "........" "... Do you want to talk about it?" "No." "Meap! I-I''m sorry, Big Sis!" "... No I, I didn''t mean to be so harsh I... I''m tired... I''ll go back to sleep... W...we''ll talk in the morning." "R-right. I-I understand... Good night, Big Sis. And please have a good dream." "... Yeah... Good night, Nello...I''m...sorry." [VOL.3] (2nd_REM) - Lack of Sleep is the Source of All Evil in the World (No Joke) :: Dear Diary: ¡­. I don¡¯t know why but I feel like sh*t. Let¡¯s skip the diary session today. ::
<< WARNING: Your are Sleep Deprived. Your INT dropped by -3. Please seek counselling. >>??
<< Your Mental Stamina is at 10% capacity. You are unable to use Math and Literature Skills. >>
<< Your REFLEX Score has dropped by 80%. All Dexterity Checks will automatically be Critical Fails. >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~All Nighter Hero!~ You stayed awake for more than 48 hours. You''re ready to fall over now. -----
"Big Sis, how come you look like a Panda?" "Lesson number one in picking up girls in a dungeon... Never say that... ever." "... But-but Pandas have these weird black eyes... Did someone punch you?" "Nello. I really love you... but as a Big Sister, don''t make me punch you." "Meap." Pastrache Mooneye... looked like sh*t. She was the almagamation of every human being on Planet Earth, before they had their first cup of morning coffee. Her hair looked like a rat''s nest from one angle, and a bird''s nest from another angle. The way you can discern between the two styles was similar to the way special colored cards and paper that could change the image just by flipping it at different angles (#HolographicCardHair!?) Not to be rude (as she had a rifle) she had... peculiar dark patches hanging under her beautiful eyes. Maybe she was not in the mood to sing ''Hey Let''s Go, Hey Let''s Go, As Happy as Can Be''... Still, she could be found sitting on top of a certain T-34-85 Soviet Tank, mimicking Odion the Thinker... Hardcore miming right there. "I-I''m sorry Big Sis. I-I didn''t mean to make you mad at me... Please don''t hit me... I''ll bruise." "Nello. If I really did punch you with all my might, I''ll end up in the emegency ward in a hospital... I don''t have the funding to pay for such ridiculously expensive medical bills........I love you." "... Is something the matter Big Sis? I''m happy you keep saying you love me but...... you''ve been saying that for the last 6 hours... Is something bothering you?" "I have nothing to declare officer. No fruits no vegetables. No Dragon Snuff Powder. Go ahead, touch me." "... Big Sis?" "Ah. Sorry... I phased out and was having a micro-dream... Are we in Kansas yet?" "Where''s Kansas?"
<< Mental Stamina at 8%. Now running on Emergency Reserves. >>
<< You have 10 minutes before Consciousness hits Zero. >>
<< Please read ''Go the F**k to Sleep'' >>
"Hmm... I-it''s not good... After having that flashback to my childhood, I couldn''t sleep a wink all night. I-I was too scared to relive those scenes in the previous chapter." "... What?" "North...That''s the way to go... Into the beyond, to the heart of Alaska." "Wh-where''s Alaska?" "... Sh*t, brain...failing! F**k.....love.....f....f**k...nnng" "..................." Nello was a good boy. No, he was not a dog. He was a tank, with the voice of a child. He wanted to be useful to the Half-Elf he calls an older sister, however it was proving difficult for him to catch up to her sudden change of thought patterns. Either she would be staring hard at the road in front of her with a glazed look, or say something random every now and then. For tank that was carrying her like a car, he found it troubling to listen to all those ramblings and not be worried about it. "... You can tell me Big Sis... I won''t tell anyone else. Is something wrong?" "Nello... you''re so sweet... Want a Donut Officer?" "...Donut?" "D*mn it! Wake up, me! Wake up!" Pastrache had enough of her random blabbering and she struck her face with her two palms. Of course it was hard enough to jumpstart her brain, like any good driver would to their stalling engine, and her eyes were not as glazed as before. "I...I kept having bad dreams last night." "B-bad dreams? What about?" "......................................................." "Um...Okay, I-I''ll ask something else... What''s a donut?"Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. "Nello... M-maybe I should tell you, that day. When my father suddenly left home." "............................Uwaaah." Nello came to an abrupt halt. It was exactly how the hero of a drama would stop whenever they were told a brutal secret. The kind of truth that would make them forget they were walking and force themselves to turn to the speaker. Love confessions, admitting one''s wrong, or telling them that whether or not they were their children. Those types of words. "... It''s alright, Nello. You can keep going. The story will be long, so no need to stay idle." "O-oh. Okay." Breaking the trope, the T-34 Russian Tank continued to mosey on down the road. Maybe it was all for the best, as a moving scenery could stimulate the Half-Elf''s brain enough to keep her eyes open. "I''ll be frank... I don''t know what happened.One day, my father promised he would talk to my school about switching me to the Engineering class overPolitical Science...at that time, I was so sure I would have the chance to build my own submarine?" "...A-a German U-Boat!? Th-they''re super scary!" "Exactly! But that''s not what I''m trying to say! The very next morning, things changed! I woke up, like any other day of the week, and my mother told me to call my father to make breakfast for everyone... Only to find the whole house empty of him.. I... I didn''t know where he went to." "... D-did you cry a lot?" "How did you know?" "I-it''s not that I was spying on you or anything Bi-Big Sis but... I heard you weeping, when you were sleeping in my belly last night. I felt you tossing and turning across the crew seats." "... Yeah. I won''t lie to you Nello, I couldn''t stop crying forten straight days... even my mother was crying with me the entire time." "...Did you...um...father leave a note, as to why?" "No." "N-not even a package or message left in the open for you to figure out?" "He may have a sophisticated past, but he''s not smart enough to leave behind complex clues and puzzles for me to track after him like some kind of mystery novel." "......Did someone come and visit you and said he knew your father and said you''re a wizard?" "Nello. Where are you getting these ridiculous ideas?" "... Sorry Big Sis. There was this Bird Lady with the funny hat who kept trying to make me her familiar, whatever that was. She said she had no money, so she gave me her books to read." "Tch. That Raven Witch. Was she trying to solicit and tempt you to do bad things behind my back again!? That feather flapping wh*re, I''ll drive my rifle up her immoral @ss and pull the trigger to drill a hole into her dirty brain!" "..........................................................................." "... I-I mean, play tag with her. Yes. Very crippling, tag. Cough." "Uwaaaaaah. Th-that sounds scary too..." "...Wait...Nello? N-not to insult your intelligence, but... how can you read? You have no hands." "She read them to me. Birdy Lady has a really nice voice." "NOW''S SHE USING HER MOUTH TO COAX YOU!? I-I''LL, I''LL F**KING BURY THAT WING SPREADING MAGICAL B*TCH!" ".....Aaaah... I feel like I''m getting Birdy Lady in trouble." Now that Pastrache the Half-Elf was all riled up, whatever sleep-deprivation that weighed her down snapped apart and gave her a sense of freedom. She was on the verge to hop off the moving tank and just run in the opposite direction, with her rifle. She was in the mood to go bird hunting that moment. Even if that bird was a lovely witch. ".... Uuugh... My brain hurts just from trying to memorize all the muscle patterns to move my feet. I can feel my cerebellum burning... Mah, I''ll f**k that b*tch up tomorrow..." Only to trudge back to the moving Tank, struggle to climb back up onto her original perch across the turret head, and return to being the mime for Odion the Thinker. Her Mosin-Nagant Rifle snapping on her thighs. "I may have been young, but I knew my father inside out. He''s the kind of person who dislikes spicy food, but eats them anyway to make mom more confident in her cooking. The kind of man who would pretend he respects personal space above all else, until he hears mom calling him with a dove like voice... He loves to keep everything organized in the house... but will never get mad whenever mom ''helps'' and ends up re-arrangign the house..." "...M...meaning?" "No matter how many buttons are pushed, he won''t snap at you or hate you... He chooses when to indulge on those emotions and uses it efficiently... He would only spank me if I really deserved it." "... He sounds like a very nice man." "Until he left home the next day, right after his daughter told him her intentions of taking over the world with giant war machines." "....................................................I....I don''t get it now." "It''s okay, Portobello. Big SIster will always love you like gelato." ".......Big Sis, are you sleepy again?" "Hmm."
<< Mental Stamina has reached Critical. Your Emergency Reserves are nearly depleted. >>
<< You have exactly 1 minute worth of operational time. Please save all of your experiences. >>
<< WARNING: Do not force reboot your brain in the next 48 hours. >>
Nearly reaching her limit, the Half-Elf nodded to a question she should not have answered. Worse, she had no clue as to what the question was. Her internal mindframe was to the point where it was buried under 1000 kilograms worth of snow, fog, and smoke. Blurry as f**k. Her exhaustion was so bad, she could make promises or sign shady contracts at this point and have no memory as to how much money she owed random people. ... That was why Nello didn''tsay much, to avoid taking advantage of her vulnerable state. "... Um... Big Sis, since it''s a long way to the next town... do you want to sleep in my belly again?" "Hnn. Salanghae" "...What?" Right after the Half-Elf said ''I love you'' in Korean, the girl reached her battery limit...
<< Mental Stamina has reached ZERO PERCENT... Shutting Down. >>
And she flopped right off the front of the tank to bury her body into the dirt road... @ss up. "............BIG SIIIIIIIIIS! H-HANG IN THERE! I-I''M GOING TO SAVE YOU! MEDIC! MEDIIIIIC! QUICK! ANNE! PLEASE COME OUT OF YOUR BOOK AND HELP BIG SIS! SH-SHE NEEDS CPR! SHE NEEDS CPRRRRRRRRRRR!" This was the renewed adventures of a WW2 Tank reincarnated in a transmigration LitRPG... Is there a doctor in Royal Roads? Anyone!?
[VOL.3] (3rd_Trail) - All Roads Leader to an Empty Void, Called an Animals Stomach :: Dear Diary: ¡­ I f**ked up. :: "...Nello. I f**ked up." "I-is it because th-this dusty town looks super scary?" "... That''s the just tip of the iceberg, but close enough." Pastrache Mooneye looked like she was about to vomit. She felt a tension in her gut that other people would have when they were about to perform on a grand stage for millions of people. Broadcasted live, in 4K. Yes, the lead role in the ''Emperor''s New Clothing''... Most of you are probably flinching from such a grand opportunity. No need to be jealous. It didn''t help to improve the tense atmosphere, when a cloud of dusty air got sucked into the Half-Elf''s lungs. She coughed, like a cat with a hairball. "Hack. Gag. Cough!" "Ah! C-careful Big Sis. Please drink some water." "Cough... I-I wish I could but... this place is so hot and dusty, all the water in my canteen just up and boiled over. The moment I opened the canister, there was nothing but pressurized steam!.... It got in my eye and it stills hurts. Cough." "Uwaaah. Wh-what should we do? W-we can''t live long without water." "... Nello... You''re tank." "Oh right, I forgot." "H-how can you forgot something that important!?" The Half-Elf choked on the dry air again when she said those words. She was gagging so bad, her heels ended up stomping on Nello''s armor while she fidgeted across the turret head. "OW! OW! GUGH!? S-STOP TH-THAT HURTS, BIG SIS!" "Uugh! Hack! S-sorry, I-I, geeegh." Pastrache felt bad for hurting her little brother tank, so she quickly pulled out her canteen to drink something. Even when it was emptied like she mentioned before, another puff of warm steam escaped from the bottom of the canister. Since steam was still essentially vaporized water she... well, inhaled it as hard as she could. Children don''t learn from her. "*Suuuuck*....Aaaaah.... th-that was enough water to keep my throat from splintering. I feel refreshed...Cough." "Um... where do we go now, Big Sis. I-it''s so dark here that I''m scared I might fall off a cliff." "Hmm. That is surely a pickle." The Half-Elfsquinted her eyes, in hopes to improve her sharp eyesights to scan the horizon. No good, no matter where she looked or stared in, everything was all black. As if the heart of midnight. Yet the timer on her Ethereal Notification System still reads it was only 10 minutes past noon.
<< Accessing Weather Balloon Camera Crystal...... COMPLETE >>
By some strange phenomon, the badlands they entered was covered in a shadowy veil. It looked like it was night 24/7, and the only way to tell if it was ''day'' or night'' is by spotting a scarlet sun hiding in the sky. It wasn''t that the sun turned the color red. Rather, there was so much enchanted smoke and violet fog, that it forced the sun to be viewed as a deep shade of crimson... Like the aftermath of a large forest fire. From the Half-Elf''s position, the environment around her were nothing but rocky mountains, rocky canyons, and rocky crevases. Plain old desert flat lands that anyone could easily get lost in. ".......There''s so many footprints around us, yet why do they suddenly end so short?" "B-Big Sis? Wh-what are you talking about?" Nello didn''t understand what the Half-Elf was mumbling. He was too focused on the road, or whatever counted as the road in front of him. Despite a tank, he was careful in not running into small rocks or questionable bushes. Maybe it was a coincidence, but he too noticed the various trails of foot and horse prints riding along side him. They all suddenly disappeared infront of those rocks, pushes, and watering hole. "...Stop, Nello." "H-heh? D-did I do something bad again?" "No, no, no. You''re a good boy and Big Sis loves you. Just stop your engine for a second." "... O-okay." Patting the Tank on the hatch of the turret head to make him halt,Pastrachestared to climb off the armored vehicle. With some nimble and grace, she was able to leap down the iron slope, all the while showing off the flexibility of her fine legs... Cough. When she balanced her heels into the dirt, she would rub her foot across the ground. The sand was soft. Enough for it to fly away with a small kick or a sneeze from the wind. She took a moment to wipe the sweat dripping down her forehead... and some that fell down the slope of her chest (very quickly before anyone saw her). But she still felt the sensation of her clothing plastered to her skin... saturated. Even in all her... womanly places.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. No, it did not put her in a good mood. ".............................." Pastrache tapped her foot, staring at thre objects that were sitting quietly in front of her and Nello. A large boulder. A large cactus. A large watering hole. Common items to find in a desert scenario. "........ Hmph." "... Big Sis, should I--" "Ssssh. Be a good boy Nello and wait here." "... Okay." Pastrache couldn''t resist a smile and patted her little brother tank across the front of his armor. She then turned on her heels, hefting her Mosin-Nagant rifle over her shoulder and marched closer to the three regular oddities. They were as big as her body mass, regardless it be a rock formation, plant, or a pool of clean water. With her sharp eyes, she could see distinct fresh trails leading directly towards those three objects... There were no return steps. "...This should do." So she picked up a rock, and tossed it. The pebble the size of her pinky plopped quietly across the ground, in between them-- ---And THREE f**king Mega Burrow Spiders of Gold, Silver, and Bronze lunged from under their fake rock, cactus, and watering hole cover. To eat the small pebble. "...............UGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SP-SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" "Hmm. Just as I thought. The desert is surely a mistress too wild to be tamed. We should---NELLO! WAI-WAIT! COME BACK! WE''RE COMPLETELY OUT OF THEIR ATTACK RANGE! IT''S PERFECTLY SAFE! NELLO!" "NO! I DON''T WANT IT! I DON''T WANT! I DON''T WANT TO FIGHT A SPIDEEEEEEEER!" "...Have you calmed down now?" "Sniff...Sniff... Th-they were super scary! Th-those spider were as big as a German Tiger Tank!" "I know. But we still have to get rid of them or else we can move on. I don''t have a roll of newspaper sitting in my inventory. Sorry." "Uuuuuuuuuh." After wasting 2 hours chasing after a crying tank, the Half-Elf was back to square one with her current dead end. Although the desert was wide and flat, there were too many complications. There was a bush that was part of this ridiculous amount of fur on the back of a scorpion. A giant beetle that was snoring as a series of boulder. Not to mention there being a Mimic monster the shape of a travelling lodge in the middle of nowhere. After calculating her odds, the Three Burrow Spiders the size of double decker busses, were the lesser of all evils. "Big Sis... I want to go home. Can we pick up another mission." "Of course." "Yay!" "Then you have to be responsibile in telling the Werewolf Chieftain that we failed to bring back his daughter... I recall you promised she will come back home safe and sound." ".............................Aaaah." "Nello. I didn''t raise you to be someone to break promises. People who aren''t honest will never grow up." "Meap! I-I don''t want to stay small! A-A Tiger Tank might eat me one day!" Said the T-34 Russian Tank wagging his 3 meter cannon up and down like frantic arms. "So, you know what to do." "... Now?" "Yes, Nello... Now." "B-but, i-it will get super smoky here... And... Shouldn''t we give the spiders a chance to fight back?" "Neelloooooooooooooooooooooooooo." "...O-oh okay.....Aaah...ATAKA!" *BTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
The T-34 Battle Tank fired its main cannon. It launched its 76 mm armor piercing shell through the stale air, slicing open a hole clear of dust. The second the tip of the iron shell touched the groumd--- ---All three giant Burrow Spiders LUNGED! *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!* Like a match touching the pool of crude oil, everything exploded into billowing flames. Anything caught in its rage were either vaporized or burnt to a clean crisp. Figures were dancing, but it was too censored to truly see the details.
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON on Burrow Spider Gang. Super Critical Hit! >>
<< Dealt -5000 Blunt and Piercing Damage, and bonus -100 for Stealth Attack >>
<< Burrow Spider Gang are on fire! They received -50 ongoing Burn Damage. >>
<< Burrow Spider Gang are now prone. You have advantage over their bodies. >>
<>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~One Hit Wonder~ You took out a band of enemies with One Punch. You are now a hero for a hobby! -----
<< WARNING: Your Alignment is Chaotic ''What-The-F**k-Woman!?''. Please seek counselling, now. >>
<< WARNING: Your Alignment is Chaotic ''What-The-F**k-Woman!?''. Please seek counselling, now. >>
<< WARNING: Your Alignment is Chaotic ''What-The-F**k-Woman!?''. Please seek counselling, now. >>
<< WARNING: Your Alignment is Chaotic ''What-The-F**k-Woman!?''. Please seek counselling, now. >>
<< WARNING: Your Alignment is Chaotic ''What-The-F**k-Woman!?''. Please seek counselling, now. >>
"...Why is the last messaging being repeated over and over?... is there a bug in the Notification System?" In the end, there was nothing but this large black crater... and some fried legs rolling around like tumbleweed. As if not wanting to show she was in the mood, the Half-Elf turned away with a hand over her nose. "... Auugh. I am so not in the mood for barbecue boar right now." "... Cough... Ow... My nose is super hot right now..." "I guess it makes it difficult to fire your nose in humid climates like that. Sorry about that, Nello." "Maybe... I was born in Stalingrad where it was snowing all day... Now that I think about it, this place is really too warm for me." "Nn. Once we finish this rescue operation, we''ll go home and have a nice cold bath in the Lake House." "... But Big Sis... I''ll drown." "I''ll personally clean you with an iced towel?" "Yay!" With a small giggle, Pastrache bit the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from vomitting. The air was dry before, not with the scent of fried... stuff, it made her stomach do somersault. So she hurriedly climbed back up across the Russian Tank, and tapped on his turret head as a signal to move on. After revving up his engines, Nello proceeded to dip through the black crater, clear of any dangerous obstacles. There was a lot of crunching sound. "... I don''t think I can eat cereal for a month." "What was that, Big Sis?" "North... Keep going North... and fast... My stomach doesn''t feel good." "Okay Big Sis. I''ll do my best." "Aaaw. Nello is the best!... Hurk!" And so, the T-34 Tank and Half ventured deeper into the Shadow Badlandes... on their way to complete their important mission. [VOL.3] (4th_Bullet) - When You Hear Golden Shower -- Run. :: Dear Diary: ¡­ We made it, the possible location of where the Vampire Clan could be hiding. I really hope this mission is worth it. I¡¯m practically betting my entire life on a piece of golden corn and buffalo hide¡­ I could turn back now¡­ but I don¡¯t know why¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to sleep peacefully if I don¡¯t at least bring back the Chieftain¡¯s daughter! :: "...N-Nello, I think I found her! Th-this is Lily Tiger! I know it!" "Hold up... How come the Cheiftain''s Daughter... looks like a regular puppy!?" Pastrache was excited. Even though she was heading towards the gates of h*ll known as the Vampire Conclave in the middle of shady badlands, she need not have to step into that plane of the undead in order to fulfill her missions. Somehow, the mission objective came up to her... like a stray dog... ... Wait, i-is that a Scottish Terrier licking at her palms!? "Yes! She''s a canine, and she smells terrible..... It''s confirmed, this little fellow is definitely a girl! She doesn''t have a ding-dong!" "... Big Sis, I don''t think you should hold the dog upside down like that. It might pee on you." "What are you talking about, Nello? Werewolves are smarter than that, of course they know when to hold-----OH MY GOD! TH-THIS THING ALMOST P*SSED ON MY FACE!" The Half-Elf hoped to finish the job with as little as energy or resources as possible. Even though she had prepared for a long trip and stocked on on water, food, and supplies, she honestly prayed to the Goddess of Adventurers that she could get the f**k out and still get paid for it. Like that moment when your ''friends'' drag you into a haunted mansion. You''ve done your due dilligence in following these @ssholes past the front door, now let you go so you can go home and bath yourself in holy water! That kind of feeling, you know. But all the chances for achieving a happy ending was dashed... more like drowned out... when the dog the Half-Elf was holding starting to let loose a golden shower at her. Luckily, her DEXTIERITY score was high enough, she passed her ''NotGetHitByUrine'' Check with flying colors. ".......N...Nello... it''s P*ssing on my boot." "Maybe because it thinks your shoe is a fire hydrant. It''s pretty red." "Wh-what the h*ll is this fire hydrant!? I-I don''t want one near my house, EVER! And for the record, these blue boots were brand new before I left the capital! All this trekking in the dead sand just ripped the paint off to the point of being terra cotta! Now it''s stinks of a toilet! Someone pay for my mental trauma!" "... Um... I don''t know about you, Big Sis, but that''s definitely not the Chieftain''s Daughter." "Nello... If you were a real boy, I would proudly spank you until apologize." "I-I''m sorry! I''m really sorry!" "I said - until you apologized wholeheartedly........Geeegh. My boots are ruined!" Nello backed away. It was only natural when he saw his companion started to kick her one foot around to flick off the excess wet stuff from the tip of her boots. Tank or not, no one wanted to be hit by such yellow storm. Especially while youre standing in the middle somewhere that was right outside the border of Las Vegas.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. There were no restroom or gas stations in a fantasy world to let you wash your hands. Civilization here wasn''t that convenient. That was why, Pastrache did everyhing in her power to not even touch her shoe, ever.
<< Your Hydration Level are below critical. Please drink water. >>
<< Your Core Temperature is now climbing into the red zone. >>
<< The chance of achieveing a Heat Stroke has increased by 20% >>
"Ah no good. My dehydration status is telling me I''m in the red zone. If this keeps up, I''ll surely gain the Delirium Status and go on this drunken rampage... Nello, if worse comes to worse.. please make sure Big Sis doesn''t strip and dance around in the sands." "....................................." "... G-geh!? N-nello, d-don''t tell me th-that you''ve suddenly grown up to the point of being c-curious of a woman''s body!? Wh-what happened to my baby brother? Wh-when did you become corrupted like that--GASP! IS IT THAT RAVEN WH*RE!? ALL THAT PROPOSITIONING HER BODY SO YOU CAN BECOME HER MAGICAL PET HAS RUINED YOUR INNOCENT! WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS SAND TRAP - I''LL F**KING GUT HER!" ".........................................." ".......Nello! Are you listening to me!? Look at people when they''re talking to you! Cough! Hack! Ah, no good. My throat is cracking. Gaaaah! J-just swallowing feels like I''m shoving needles down my throat! Gauuggh! I-it hurts, b-but I can''t stop swallowing my saliva!" "... Um Big Sis." "Hnnng. It''s so hot here... Maybe I-I should take off my top and--NO! PASTRACHE MOONEYE WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU DOING WOMAN!? YOU CAN''T FORSAKE YOUR CHASTITY JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL COMFORTABLE! I-I DON''T WANT TO BE PART OF THIS EXPERIMENT WHEN YOU''RE NAKED AND AFRAID!" ".......Big Sis." "Wh-what is it Nello? Your sister is busy taking off her pants---GYAAAAAAAAH! SOMEONE STOP MY DELIRIUUUUUUM!" "Is that the city we''re looking for?" ".........................Sh*t. it''s only two blocks away." Maybe it was because there was a series of sandstorms going on in the distance, so most of the wind in the area kicked up enough sand to distort theirvisual horizon. Once the phenomenon was cleared away, the Half-Elf could see what looked like a small series of ruined buildings. A Corpse of a city so to speak sitting on sand, gravel, and rocks.
There were no gates, but a series of disconnected fences, with rusted lanterns swinging in the winds. There was no sign dangling from the main ''welcoming'' post that stood as the gate. Only three mummified bodies swinging on irons and rope by the neck. Judging by their skeletal features, they look human. Judging by their worn clothing and some pieces of armor, they look like they were Level 40 Adventurers. One of them had 10 knives stuffed into the groin area... Which makes only one wonder... was it a boy or a girl? "........... Nope. This isn''t the city, Nello. It''s somewhere else. Let''s go. Now." "But Big sis. There''s no other place for miles. I could see with my magnified scope. This is the only place. And it has the same name that the nice lady at the church told you before we left. How could we be wrong?" "Not listening! Not istening! Hey, let''s go! Hey let''s go! As happy as can beeeeeee! Let''s go walking you and me! Ready set come on let''s--" ".......Big Sis, do you see that writing on the wall?... Wh-what does it say.....F...Free......Water?" "MUSH NELLO! MUSH! ONWARD TO VICTORY!" "Nuwoooh!? Wh-why is Big Sis suddenly riding on my head! Ew! Ew! You''re wet boot is on my eye! Big Siiiiiiiis!" "What are you waiting for, Nello!? They have free water to spare! Not only will it heal my dehydration status, but we could refill your water tank to cool whatever powered core you have!" "...Um... I''m okay. I don''t need to drink and--" "HIGH HO, NELLO! AWAAAAAAAY!" "BIG SIS! YOUR BOOT! YOUR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"
[Easter Monday 2019] - How to Teach a Tank to Paint a Wonderful Rainbow "Big Sis, I want an egg." "N-Nello! I-I love you, b-but why are you staring at my tummy!?" There was a T-34-85 Combat Tank that was curious today. He wasn''t sure why he was so, he only knew he saw a lot of people coming and going from the gates of the Capital City. As much as he wanted to roll out from his cover in the bushes, wave his 3 meter cannon at them like the hand of a friendly stranger, and ask them questions to sate such curiosity he couldn''t do so. Not conveniently.. He was worried that he will scare the nice people away... or... roll over a color bunny with a cute vest. Now, that would be a tragedy. "Um... I keep seeing people going into the city with no egg... and then coming back out with big lots of eggs... Is there something special going on that people are giving away free eggs to everyone?" "W-well, I wouldn''t say it was a city wide sales event. More like a special occassion." "Oh, for today?" "Not exactly today per se, but they''re preparing for tomorrow." "Preparing?" "Yes.Everyone is getting ready for the St. Esther Day Celebration." ".............................................What''s St. Patrick''s Day?" "Saint Esther. Sa-i-n-tttt, Esu-thhhh-eeeer..." "... Oh... sorry." The tank named Nello looked down with a sigh. Not in a demeaning way, not like a bully to his prey. Rather, it was simply the fact he was just too big. Even when he sat on the ground on his... hind tracks, his natural size was two - no,no - three times bigger than the person he was sitting in front of. Someone who he loved and trusted with all his... heart (metaphorically speaking for now). A certain Half-Elf who liked to keep her long blonde hair in a side-tail. She had a frown. No, she wasn''t angry at the tank, only idiots would yell at a tank. "Ahem. In a nutshell--" "Um...Don''t you mean Eggshell?" "Nellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." "Ah! D-did I say something wrong? I-I''m sorry!" "Let Big Sis talk alright? Cough. In a...an eggshell, essentially, people are buying eggs so they can get them ready to celebrate St. Esther''s Day tomorrow." "Why?" "So they can take them home and paint them with all sorts of lovely colors, in various patterns, making unique art on the eggs. It''s to commemorate the sacrifice of a great hero in ancient times." "... I don''t get it." "Sigh. If only you were properly connected to the Ethereal Net Drive like most people. That way, I could just download the information package and you would be able to catch up with the complicated science." "...........................What''s download?" Pastrache the Half-Elf Girl tilted her head, so her lazy hand could reach high enough to scratch it. Seems like she was having trouble in how to best explain the details of this long going tradition involving colored eggs. She even twiddled her hair in her finger, to try and come up with the simplest answer possible. Maybe she could summarize it in 10 words or less. "... Nah. I''ll start from the top. Besides, it gives me a good excuse for me to do what I always wanted to do." "What''s that?" "Fu-fu. To lecture my little brother?." "Uwaaah. Big Sis'' eyes look super scary." "The reason why people are buying eggs being related to St. Esther''s Day is simple.They are used to remember a Prince who gave up his life to protect his people from extinction. It just so happened, his favorite food was eggs." "... Oh." Pastrache nodded after she confirmed the T-34 Tank understood that first part of the whole story. To make the whole lecture easier to ''digest'' she throught it was a good day for them to take a stroll. Or, stroll as in Nello does the walking with his iron tracks, while Pastrache sits on his turret head and enjoys the view. She even plucks down flowers from the branches and startes to make a series of garlands and necklesses. Like a happy go lucky school children. "... Big Sis. Why did the Prince like eggs?" "Because Desert Ostrich Eggs are tasty and filling to the stomach. Now, sssssh. Big Sis is talking." "Oh. Okay. Huuu-mm." "......... You don''t have to hold your breath." "Buwaaah! Th-thank you Big Sis. Phew." "... My goddess, Nello, you''re just too cute for this world." With a coy grin, the Half-Elf would quietly set the ring of Aurora Blossoms onto the turret head. The same way children would give each other a crown of flowers. She stifled a giggle, because it looked really adorable on the tank''s head. "As I mentioned, there was a Prince of an ancient civilization. It was because his entire kingdom was so outdated, the other nations with more modernizedtechnology constantly invaded in order to take over the land and enslave their people." ".......Uh-oh." "Everyday, the ancient city was under attack.All of their supplies and fossil fuel were cut off, leaving the people to starve with no power to survive. Every citizen were begging the Ancient King and Queen to simply surrender, so this stalemate would no longer drag on. They wanted the suffering to end, and they didn''t care who would rule them. Simply put, everyone was a coward who only cared for their own skins." "......................................." "However, against the rioting city, the Prince was the only one who encouraged his parents to not give up. He knew if they lost, not only will their civilization become extinct,their people will be the enemies'' slaves. They will have no future if they gave into the temptation of surrendering... Then, he made a proposition." "Oh! What!? What!? "The Prince, along with a good portion of his crew, will take a ship and sail through one of the many rivers at night. They plan to use the hidden resevoirs to sneak into enemy ground, and attack their resource lines!" "Th-that''s a really good idea!" "Indeed, Nello. The Prince may have always been bullied by his court officials, but he comes up with some very lovely schemes. But those stories will have to be told another day. Ahem. As I mentioned, he came up with a plan. There were many rivers in his city, that have never been documented on the map. So, he thought if he could sneak through the unmarked waterways, he would be able to attack the enemy forces where they least expect it."This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. "Yeah, yeah! Th-then maybe he could steal some of the bad guy''s food and give it to the people!" "... Yes....Yes..." "...........................................................Wait. Big Sis...you said, tomorrow is a day to remember his sacrifice....." The Half-Elf wasn''t able to find the right words that moment. So the Tank spoke for her. "The... Prince didn''t win, did he?" "No one knew if he would have won or lost... he was betrayed halfway." ".............................." Pastrache lowered her voice, almost into a small lull. It was as if she wanted to talk to a sleeping infant. However, she couldn''t bring herself to smile. So her words fell like rain drops to the ground... plip... plop. "Big Sis... please tell me what happened?" "The plan would have been a success. If he were not betrayed by the one man he trusted the most." "Who?" "His Second in Command, the Kissing Traitor." "K-Kissing Traitor?" "There are many variations of this legend, and it''s so obscure that no one knows what is the original story. But what this man did was so terrible, they erased his name from the history books and simply called him the Kissing Traitor." "........................" "The Prince believed in his men. He hand picked them for this dangerous mission to sneak behind enemy line, in hidden water channels. There was no way the enemy knew beforehand... However, the Kissing Traitor sold out his leader and his crew. For 30 Silver Pieces." "........................." "Some say the Kissing Traitor gave up his loyalty for greed, planning on taking this money and live a life of luxury. Some say he was coerced by the enemy, maybe blackmailed. There were some tales that say his family were starving, and his loyalty to his kin forced him to betray his leader for those 30 Silver Coins... but one thing was sure." The Half-Elf took a deep breath, as she tried to keep her nerves as leveled as possible. "The moment the traitor kissed the Princes'' ring, to confirm his faith and trust, that was when the enemy boarded their ship and captured the Prince and the crew... They were never to be seen again. And the Kissing Traitor disappeared." There was a wall of silence, that divided Pastrache and Nello. The weight of this small story, seemed to have struck something within the Tank''s armor. The Half-Elf was aware, the tank possessed no human organ, not like a Mimic... but she could feel the tank shuddering from a bad thought he had in his mind. "...I...I don''t get it Big Sis...Doesn''t everyone want to be free? Why would they hurt someone who was helping them?" "It''s hard to explain, Nello... But when you''re life is on the line, it''s obvious you trust no one but yourself." "... That''s not fair." "No. It isn''t Nello, but... that''s just the way things are." The T-34 Tank lowered its cannon. It was close to dragging itself into the dirt, but he didn''t care. All he knew, this story was sad... but now that he thought about it. "Wait. Big Sis, why are people celebrating that he was betrayed?" "N-no. Nello. That''s not the point of the story, the truth is.. the truth was, the Prince sacrificed his life in the end to protect his people." "How so?" "The only reason why the Ancient Civilization wasn''t conquered so quickly, was the defensive properties of its Magical Iron Walls. It was the one thing that kept the enemy out. However, only people of the Royal Family know how to deactive the defenses, whether it be from outside or inside. So the enemy tortured the Prince to tell them the secret in unlocking the front gate." "D-did he tell them!? D-did he give up and tell everything to the bad guys!? O-oh please no! That would be very sad!" "... After 30 days and 30 nights of beatings and interrogation... on the 31st morning, he was... no longer among the living." "............................." "... But." "B-but?" "Even covered in bruises and wounds... he had this most serene smile on his face... almost at peace." "...........I think I know why, Big Sis." "N-Nello? W-whooa!!" The Tank suddenly came to a halt. If Pastrache hadn''t been paying attention, she would have surely fell off. She watched as the armored vehicle suddenly raise its cannon, up to the sky. It was as if he was preparing to shoot an enemy right of the sky. But there was nothing up in the heavens. no so much as a wandering cloud. There was this pause of silence... as if to respect the fallen in this story. "The Prince must have been really proud of himself. Even when the bad guys keep forcing him to tell them his family''s secret, he didn''t say a word... He was a true soldier." "... Oh right... I keep forgetting that you used to be a soldier too, Nello. You were once in a war from your world before you...Ahem. You''re right. If the Prince gave into his pain, in hopes they would stop hurting him and told the villains everything, his city, his family, the people... they''ll all dissappear." "Yeah... The Prince did the right thing. He was a very good man... Sniff." "Now, now, Nello. This story happened 1000 years ago.Please don''t cry, don''t cry." Pastrache rubbed her hand across the top of the Tank''s Turret head, the same way a mother would comfort her child. With a series of small sniffles, the Tank waved his nose to try and re-collect himself. "I-I''m a big boy now, Big Sis. I-I won''t cry...Sniff." "Aaah. Nello is so cute." "So... is this why everyone is celebrating for the Prince''s good deed?" "Yes. At the very last minute, by some stroke of a miracle, the enemies'' own kingdom broke out into a civil war on their homefront, and they were force to withdraw. One thing led to another, a new government order took over. They declared a cease of all hostility. The Ancient Civilization was spared. Now, they exist to this very day, becoming the number one tourist nation in the world!" "Uwaaah. So glad the Prince didn''t give up so soon." "To remember his sacrifice for the greater good, his parents the King and Queen would offer jewels and gemstones in the shape of Desert Ostrich Eggs. His favorite treat. As the rest of the citizens were not able to afford something that expensive, a royal maid came up with the idea to buy real eggs and paint them to look like they were gold and gemstones." "Ooooooh! Is that why so many people are leaving with so many white eggs!?" "That''s right. Every year to this day, people would gather eggs, paint them in vibrant colors and patterns, and then lay it across an altar or statue dedicated to the Prince. As the tradition became more and more popular, it spread through the various nations. Now, even the people of this continent would offer a colorful egg to respect him." "So that''s how St. Patricks Day was born! I get it now!" "...St. Esther." "Big Sis! Big Sis! I want an egg! No, I want 20 eggs! Wait-wait! Could you get me 30 eggs!?" "I-I''m glad you''re in the spirit of the holiday, b-but are you trying to bankrupt me!? Do you know how expensive a regular Ostrich Egg is!? Nuwooh! S-s-stop moving around, I''ll fall! I''ll faaaaaall!" The T-34 Tank was excited. His tracks were going back and forth in wild paces that it was hard to tell if he was malfunctioning... or he wanted to do an Irish Jig... Preferably, Riverdance to show his joy. "Big Sis! Could we get an Egg!? Pretty pleaaaaase!? And a brush!? I want a Round Brush, a Flat Brush, and a Filbert Brush. Oh-oh! And a Sword brush if you can find one! Also, we need lots and lots of pastel colors!" "Wait! Wait! Wh-what''s gotten into you, N-Nello? I-I know kids want to join in on the fun for the sake of coloring eggshells, b-but why you too?" "I don''t know why, but I''m in a really good mood to paint!" "Big Sis! Could you hold the egg a little higher? A little more to the left... right--Yes! Right there, don''t move!" "O-okay, bu-but remember you promised, Nello! Th-that you won''t sneeze... o-or else I''ll lose more than just my arm." "I promise.....A...aaah...Aaaah." "NELLO!" "Aaaah. I forgot to ask you to get the special yellow. It''s an Ochre color made from crushed sunberries." "GOOD GODDESS IN HEAVEN, MY HEART HURTS!" Pastrache was shaking. As much as she didn''t want to be afraid of her own little brother tank, she had to. It was because the squishy Half-Elf was standing in front of the T-34 Tank. Both hands up in the air. No, this was not a stick-up, that would be a cruel joke to use a WW2 tank as a pistol. Rather, one hand held aloft a large egg the size of a baby watermelon. Her other hand carried a wooden artist palette that had various color of the rainbow, as well as drops of white, black, and some grey. Due to the difference in height,the Half-Elf had to stretch her arms and body at full length, in order to hold the egg and the palette board at the tank''s eye level. As if to let him paint like a human. ........ Some of you may be wondering - how the heck does a Tank paint? It has no hands. It was simple. The Half-Elf had already tied a series of Round, Flat, Filbert, Sponge, Fan, and Filbert brush to the end of Nello''s cannon. All he had to do was wiggle his barrel around, and draw the colors on the large egg shell as if a canvas. "W-wow, Nello. I-I thought you were going to draw something simple like X''s and O''s in a row of three, o-or maybe the faces you see on Jack o Lanterns. B-but your brush stokes are incredible! The overlapping blue hue, d-doesn''t it look like a rolling ocean with sea foam!? A-and those dabs of green, wh-why do I keep thinking of a waving grass field?" "... You think so? I-I kind of felt like drawing it... Ah, I forgot to add the clouds. Big Sis, could you show help me put white and grey on my brush?" "Hnnnng! T-tryiiiing! Gah! There, that should do it!...W-were you an artist in another life, b-before you were reborn as a tank? I mean, look at this piece of art! I-it should be on a real canvas hanging in a gallery, n-not on an eggshell the size of my fist! Nuwoooh! Y-you''re not even finished and I can feel such raw emotions in your art!... W-wait. Nello, those red dots over the green fields, what are they? A-are they falling stars in a garden?" "No...... They''re Poppies... from the Field of Flanders." "Flanders?" "... I think... I don''t remember what I just said. Do you remember?" "I believe you said something about Flounders." "... I honestly can''t remember... Ah. Big Sis, could you hold the egg a little higher?" "PLEASE SPARE ME! I''M ALREADY STANDING ON MY TIPPY-TOOOOOES!" And that, is how you teach a T-34-85 Tank, to paint a wonderful rainbow egg. Happy St. Esther''s Day.
[VOL.3] (5th_Entrance) - Marching through the Valley of Messed up Shadows :: Dear Diary¡­¡­ I¡¯m suddenly excited. I never thought I could ever be this happy in seeing this shady city in the middle of a barren wasteland and corpses hanging on the front gates like greeting bells¡­ I¡¯m not sure why I¡¯m so eager to run in and say hello world¡­.. F**k, i-is my delirioum status kicking in already!? SH*T! :: "... Sh*t... It''s a Trap." "B-Big Sis... L-let''s go home." Nello was unnsure how to react. In all his years (five days) in serving the former Soviet Army and in the Battle of Stalingrad, he was foced to see frightening things no baby tank should ever witness on their first day of roll out. He was used to trampling over enemy soldiers and rip through the armor of enemy tanks. His job was to shoot and crush anyone who bared their fangs at his homeland in Stalingrad. However, the poor baby tank felt like he was a fish out of water, when he walked into a city full of undead creatures. "Rat f**king b*stards... d-did they intentionally write the words ''Free Water'' as a way to lure us inside the wolf''s den... The rotting @ssholes!" "........................................" "I hate to admit it, but this is pretty clever. Knowing that any living being would be desperate for water, the second they''re offer the chance to just moisten their throats, they''ll throw away all logic. It''s the ultimate trap in a setting like this....I was too careless." "......................................." "Nello. Whatever you do, don''t look at them. Just turn your eyes to the ground and back up, nice and slow. I-if I''m correct, Zombies won''t react to you unless you make loud noises... So... whatever you do, don''t scream or call out okay?" "......................................." "...............Nello? Psst? Nello! A-are you listening to me?" "..............................Uuuh...S...So many dead people." "N-Nello? Wh-what''s the matter!? I-is it an earthquake!?" The T-34-85 Russian Tank was shaking. It didn''t dare to switch on his engine, but his body was already rocking back and forth from whatever emotions he was experiencing. The city was dead, literally. It was void of all life, not so much as a drunk man barrle his way back to his hotel or a stray dog scratching the dirt for food. But that didn''t mean it was void of all movement. "...Uwa-uwa..." Everywhere the Tank would look, there were human figures and creatures prowling those bare streets. SKELETONS walking around with a hat and neckrag, seeing who can shoot off each other''s femur bone the fastest;ZOMBIE HORSES eating collected animal brains from wooden basins, a rotting caretaker pours in more... fresh meal; GHOULS crawlingup walls to paint graffiti across the surface, with freshly collected humanlood; VAMPIRES playing the good old knife game and hand filleting their own fingers, laughing as the digits regenerate. A regular day in the Wild West... only they were all dead. And the Half-Elf and Tank were standing right at the edge of the front gates. Maybe their Dex scores were higher than their WISDOM or Passive Perception, no one seemed to notice or take too much care to them standing in the open. Seeing how ''occupied'' the undead townspeople were,you could suit up in a gorilla suit, walk down the road, dance a bit, and no one will give a sh*t... They might even go, hey Bob, how''s work (it''s okay to run at that point, they know Bob isn''t a people person). The T-34 turned his turret head left... then right... left... then center. He made a decision. "... Big Sis, I really need to pee." "H-hold it in, Nello! W-we''re going home RIGHT NOW. Y-you don''t have to work hard today, okay?" "B-but what do we do? I-I mean, I''m really scared b-but what about the Chieftain''s daughter? We promised to bring her back home. I-I really want to help the Dog People!"Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ".......F**k! I hate heroic dilemmas!" "Th-this place doesn''t look so nice... an-and we can''t just leave Lily Tiger here... what if she gets eaten by the wierd horses... I would feel bad." "... Nello...Why...just when I was about to get out of this messed up assignemnt, why are you pulling me back in!?" The Tank from WW2 turned around with his turret head. Most people at this point, would have the urge to just open up and unload the whole cartridge of the onboard DT anti-infantry Machine gun, and go ham with the 3 meter tank cannon. However, Nello wasn''t most people. He would feel bad if his enemy didn''t have a fighting chance... that, or he was confused as to who to really shoot, without someone smart to tell him which were the true targets in the war. Not to mention, undead people going about their daily lives... shooting each other''s hip bones off, or tossing knifes to see how many flip its can do before it landed through their skull. Even Tarot cards were used in place of regular poker cards, and preserved colored eye balls in place of regular poker chips. It was a truly evil place... but they were just lazing around like any evil person. "Big Sis... Can we at least come back when it''s day again?" "According to my Notification Screen, it''s 6:30 AM in the morning. The only reason why it look so dark out here, is the natural weather phenomon that bolsters the stats of Undead Creatures. Essentially, this is a country meant for liches, zombies, and vampires... It''s either now, or never. I honestly vote never." "...Uwa-uwa-uwa. I-I''m not good with night battles." "Neither am I when I''m drunk in a bar full of lonely men. My body gets sore in the morning from throwing them out the windows and cr*p." "So...what should we do? Th-there''s no window for us to use." "... I suggest we walk out. Slowly. Find a cactus that doesn''t belong to a Mega Burrowing Spider and have a proper war meeting. Then go home. At least, we can tell the Chieftain, we ''attempted'' to rescue his daughter, but the opposition was too heavy." "... Wouldn''t that be lying?" "Do you want to go in there and ask if they''ve seen a little puppy girl, Nello?" "....................................................................Can I do it tomorrow?" "Then let''s go home." "A-after the war meeting right?" "F**k it. Let''s skip that battle phase and go home." ".......O-okay. W-we''ll be right back Lily Tiger!" "NELLO! What did I just say!? Retreat, quietly! Sssssh!" The 3 meter cannon nodded at the Half-Elf and proceeded to back away. Running his engine at the lowest power possible the tank began to move in reverse to try and leave the city all together. Doing the same with minimum energy, the Half-Elf began to walk backwards herself.They were about to successfully exit out of the non combat situation.... If only the same Scottish Terrier they found in the desert didn''t up and pee on Pastrache''s other boot. "F**K YOU, TOTO! GO PEE ON A REGULAR FIRE FOUNTAIN! DO YOU KNOW HOW RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE THESE DESIGNER BOOTS ARE!? I''LL F**KING NEUTER YOU, YA LITTLE---NELLO! STOP TAPPING MY SHOULDER WITH YOUR NOSE! CAN''T YOU SEE I''M IN MOURNING OVER MY SHOES!?" "Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis..." "...Nello. Whydo you sound like I stepped on a mouse''s tail. I''m not that viol----Son of a b---"
<< Skeleton Ranchers Lv 30 Detected You. >>
<< Ghoul Delinquents Lv 25 Detected You. >>
<< Vampire Cowboys Lv 50 Detected You. >>
<< Zombie Mustangs Lv 40 Detected You. >>
<< Lich Head Marshall Lv 70 Detected You. >>
<< Necromage Sheriff Lv 60 Detected You. >>
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<< Saloon Keeper Sadako Lv 150 Detected You. >>
----- {__ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__} ~Foxhound Dropout~ You did something incredibly stupid to make everyone notice you. Bravo. Iron Snake Called, he wants your Badge back.
"...F******************************************k." "...B-Big Sis... they''re staring at us... What do we do?" The daily life in the Undead Town, came to a halt. Skeletons stopped shooting each other in the femur, Zombie Horses didn''t bother to eat more fresh brains, the Ghouls were hanging still from their ledges frozen in mid-graffiti, Vampires missed their timing and stuffed knifes through their hands. Even a woman with long black hair crawled out from under the space of the swinging double doors to her saloon to see what was going on. ... They turned from their lazy routine... to a certain Adventurer and a big round Tank. A Mexican Standoff.
... Before anyone could twitch for their claws, fangs, or rusted matchlock pistols. The T-34 drew first... and popped open his crew hatch. "Quick! Big Sis! Climb inside me!" "OH MY GODDESS, I LOVE YOU NELLO!" Pastrache bolted up the armor and dove into the crew compartment, breaking a new record. But she didn''t get her long legs inside, when a volley of matchlock bullets, rusted crossbow bolts, and lich bolts started to bounce off the Tank''s armor. And so begins... the march of the Wild West Dead. "CHARGE THEM! CHARGE THEM! RUN THEM OVER WITH YOUR IRON WHEELS! SHOOT THEM!" "I-I''M TOO SCARED TO DO THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" [VOL.3] (6th_Tango) - A Half-Elf Realizes She is Ready to Become a Mother (Serious!?) :: Dear Diary¡­ This is messed up. I had no clue this mission was going to be this hard. I haven¡¯t even located where the captures Werewolf girl is and I¡¯m already being chased like I¡¯m a bandit on a wanted poster! Worse, the one who want to claim my bounty are nothing but walking dead corpses and skeletons! Th-this is too much, I want to go home. There¡¯s no place like home. There¡¯s no place like home, there¡¯s-----GUBFFFFFFF!? :: *SCREEEEEEEEEEECH--SLAM!* "GBFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!? F**K! M-MY NOSE! AUUUUGH!"" "...Big...Big Sis.... I.." Pastrache was reeling. It should be obvious as to why, no? She thought she was safe inside of the crew compartment of the T-34 Russian Tank, hiding behind 42 inch iron armor that was designed to deflect as much heavy ballistics as possible before it could be crippled on the battlefield. But what she didn''t expect was for the self-driving tank to suddenly stop, and smack her face into the front consoles. Hence, why she was stomping her heels into the floor and grabbing her poor nose. Like how NBA players bellow and reel when they stub their toes... True Story. "I-it hurts! It really hurts! Oh god, i-is it broken? I-is it damaged to the point where I-I have to resortto plastic reconstruction magic? I-I can''t afford it! My-my entire inventory will be brankrupt for sure!" "... B-Big Sis, y-you should look at this--" "A-and furthermore, auuuugh...Wh-why did you stop Nello!? Just because we lost theundead horde chasing us with pistols and rifles, doesn''t mean you should stay still in one place too long. It''s only a matter of time before--" "B-Big Sis. L-listen to me--" "No. I can''t. Do you know how badly my legs are shaking right now? C-can you feel my heels clicking hard enough to squeak ''there''s no place like home'' there''s no place like home!''. I regret taking this mission. I shouldn''t have let that St. Bernard Chieftain bribe me with life supply of golden corn and luxury buffalo pelts! Wh-what was I thinking? WHAT THE H*LL AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THAT CORN? I''LL GET SICK FROM EATING POPCORN THE FOR THE REST OF MY--" "I found her." "Not now, Nello. Let me sulk. If a girl doesn''t get her woes off her chest, she will never be able to sleep soundly tonight. The last thing I want to do, is make usless moaning sounds while I toss and turn in my bed... people will thing I''m a nymph with relationship problems and--" "I-I found Lily Tiger!" "This isn''t the time to go to the Public Garden and look at the beautiful flowers in full bloom.This is a crisis worse than mid-life................WHAT THE F**K!?" "Wh-why hello there little Doggy... C-come to Big Sister. Don''t worry, sh-she won''t bite you." "....Bafu. Chomp." "GUBYAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SH-SHE BIT ME! SHE REALLY BITE ME! W-WILL I GET RABIES! LITTLE WEREWOLF, PLEASE TELL ME YOU''VE BEEN VACCINATED!" Pastrache Mooneye was happy. Despite how much she was screaming bloody murder, she was really, really happy.The best way to describe her joy, is that shefinally found the one person she was charged to look for that started this whole fiasco. The daughter of the Lycan Trie''s Chieftain. Lily Tiger. Hence why she scrambled out of Nello''s safe tummy, while in the middle of enemy territory, and speak to the animal girl on a personal level.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. "....O...Oh my god. Y-you look different than the other puppies that would rub their sloppering mouths and snot over me. Y-you... C-can I touch your ears?" "Befu. CHOMP." "F**K! F****K! SH-SHE BITE ME AGAIN! D-DOES THIS MEAN THE VIRUS HAS MULTIPLIED! SH*T! WH-WHERE''S THE VET!? WHERE IS THE VEEEEEEET!?" In a barren wasteland dedicated to Undead Populace, there was no such thing as a veterinary office in these parts. The horses and cattle were all zombies or necro-animals... there was no point in hiring a professional animal doctor. No, they''ll just go bankrupt, descend in a downward spiral of liqour and gambling, get tossed out on the street half naked, bitten by either a zombie or vampire woman, and then turned into an undead. ...At most, this pathway will lead to an increase in town population. The economy will still be sh*t, but there was nothing the Undead could do about it. In the Undead West, you don''t need money to survive. "Aaaagh! L-let go of my hand! I-it''s not a chew toy t-to exercise your baby teeth! Uuuwaaggaghh! Sh-she''s licking my palm! I-if it was a dog that''s one thing, b-but she''s doing it with the ferocity of a lonely man! I-it''s unsettling!" "Bafu, bafu! Nom nom nom!" The one Pastrache was talking to... or yelling about, was this little girl with doggy ears and a bushy wolf tail. Despite her Lycan Blood, she could easily pass off for a human child who was into Cosplay at an early age (children grow so fast). To match with her family''s motif for tribesman, she was wearing this robe made from animal hide and tied with sinews made from the bark of ancient trees, twisted into decorative knots.A multi-colored bandana sat on her head, a cute little feather poking out from the end. She could be found staring up at the beautiful Half-Elf stranger, her wolf ears flopping as she tilted her head. "...Bafu???" "N-now, now. Th-there''s no- no need to stare at me. I-I''m not a stranger. O-oh gosh nooooo. I-I''m your father''s friend? Y-you know, your father? Big man, old pervert, dog face?" "... Bafu." "O-oh god, the way you''re nodding is making your ears flop up and down. SQUEEEEEEEE!...Ah...back to the matter at hand. S-simply put, I-I''m here to rescue you right now." ".......Bafu???" "...C...Could it be that you don''t know the Common Language?" The little Werewolf suddenly shook her head, whch surprised the Half-Elf. Did this mean she understood the Common Word, but she didn''t know how to speak it... or perhaps, she was fluent but didn''t bother to talk. Exactly like a teenager who would rather textto hold a conversation... even when you''re sitting right next to him. "I-is there some way you can believe that I''m here to rescue you and not kidnap you?" "..........Bafu! Bafuuu-fuu!" "O-oh! You''re nodding...D-does that me-mean we-we can come to an agreement? You will believe me whenI say I-I''m here to help you!?" Pastrache''s eyes went wide every time the Werewolf Girl Lily Tiger nodded her head to her questions, ears flapping all the while. When the little Lycan Girl tried to explain something in a small voice, the Half-Elf ended up doubling over with her hands on her knees. She was put in a vulnerable position if the little girl were a little boy, all the lovely gaps and curves on her body could easily be seen. But it was a chance she was willing to take, so she sucked in her gut and listened carefully to the Lycan Girl''s request. "Bafu...Bafu..." With small incoherent barks, Lily Tiger opened her mouth and pointed at it. ".......You''re hungry? You want me to give you something to eat... Um... Sure... what?" "Bafu." With a small incoherent point, Lily Tiger poked Pastrache''s breasts. ".......................................................................WHAT THE F--" Children under five, please do not try this at home. "Y-you want to... drink from my---OH H****LL NO! IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN THE NETHERWORLD BEFORE I LET ANY MAN, WOMAN, OR CHILDREN - OTHER THAN THE POTENTIAL HUSBAND - TO EAT MY BODY! JU-JUST HOW OLD ARE YOU ANYWAY!? 10!?" "...Bafu." "I DON''T BELIEVE IN YOUR TWO FINGERS! YOU LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO WEEN OFF YOUR MOTHER''S MILK! GYAAAAH! NO! S-STOP GRABBING AT MY SHIRT! N-NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN, E-EVEN IF YOU BITE ME! GYAAAH! GYAAAH! AAAGGBBFFF! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" ...And the Half-Elf gave a loud shriek as if she was captured by a horde of zombies. ...But at this point, Pastrache would take her chances with a horde of zombies. Her probability of survival would be higher than the situation she was trapped in right now. "N-NOOOO! I-I D-DON''T EVEN HAVE A HUSBAND! I-I''M NOT READY TO BE A MOTHEEEEER! GUGYAAAGH!" "Bafu! Bafu! Nom Nom! Aaaaaaah!" Fortunately, the Half-Elf learned enough Judo Techniques to overcome an opponent and put the little Wolf Girl in a straight-jacket lock... nothing special happened that day. "Bafuuuuuuu (TxT)." "D-don''t cry you little fluffy brat! I-I should be the one crying right now... M-my clothes are all torn! Sob (TxT)." [VOL.3] (7th_Riding) - Gone With the Wind, And Never Coming Back. :: Dear Diary¡­ I don¡¯t like to take it in the back. ::
<< WARNING! An enemy has locked onto your head. Please Evade. Please Evade. >>
¡°Hello there sugar. Mind putting down that sweet little girl and stop pulling on her ears." ¡°¡­F**k, wh-when did you get behind me!?¡± Pastrache felt like she messed up. First, she lost sight of her mission when she went blind with rage. Before she could stop herself, she was already lecturing, berating, and pulling the cheeks of the misbehaviing Lycan Girl. The same girl she was sent to rescue. It was the complete opposite display of professionalism, compared to tactical exfiltration executed by Navy SEALS. Because she was focused on punishing the little Lily Tiger who wanted to... drink milk... The Half-Elf failed her passive wisdom saving throw, and didn''t realize the barrel of a rifle was touching the back of her skull. It was only when her notification screen that told her of the imminent threat. ... The second mistake she made, was the fact she had chased this little Werewolf Girl down a narrow alleway. So narrow that a certain companion had no way available to squeeze through and follow after her. So, she was by herself... behind enemy lines......... yeah, bad move. "It would help to ease my maternal instincts if you let that poor child go. She''s only hungry, you should have indulged her." "It''s obvious you don''t have the same lycan features as this little brat. So there is a good chance you''re not the biological mother. Is there really any need to go Mama Bear over such a trivial matter?" "Oh my. If she truly was my daughter, I wonder what lines would a charming werewolf man say to lower my guard... How raunchy." "...Please don''t paint a terrible image in my pure mind. I''m still single." "Even if she isn''t my child, I still treat that girl you''re throwing around as my daughter. It would be in your best interest to release her, before I open a hole in the back of your brains. Some of the undead here find such a sight... attractive." "...Sh*t." The Half-Elf was shaking, worried more about the wierd fetishes that existed in these parts of the Undead Lands, than the fact she could be virtually killed in a single shot. Having her hands full by pulling at the Lycan Girl''s face and ears, there was no way she could dodge, grab her Mosin-Nagant rifle, load the bullets, and fire at her enemy in a matter of 10 seconds. Pastrache knew the moment she would released the Werewolf girl, even with the Half-Elf''s ridiculous high Dexterity Score - she wouldn''t make it past the first phase of dodge. She''ll just fall over across the ground with a sexy hole in the back of her head. "G-goddess, I-I don''t want to know what zombies and skeletons will do with the second hole in my skull... Please give me strength to block out such traumatic imagination." "...How''s this. To make this a fair fight, I''ll give you a handicap¡î." "...What?" Pastrache dropped the Werewolf Girl, letting the latter''s body fall with a rubber ducky squeak. Taking her chance, the Half-Elf spun on her heels to see who was attacking her. It was a tall woman. Although her image was obscurred the Half-Elf could see how beautiful she was. Long hair as black as the night, naturally curled to make it billow like a slumbering thunder cloud. An elaborate blue dress that made her look like a waterfall in the desert born from a mirage. A wide brim hat curled back to give a Western feel, sleeves and shoulders flowing with dancing leather tassels. The reason why her image was obscurred was obvious. The handicap meant turning her back on Pastrache Mooneye. "A tarnations. The dust is ruining my mascara. Where did I put my mirror again?" "...Wh...Hah!?" As much as Pastrache wanted to move... she couldn''t. She knew she wasn''t put under any spell, or blasted with a wicked hex. Rather... what she was seeing stunned her brain too hard. Because the woman with her back turned was busy trying to fix her make-up... in a hand mirror she pulled out from her pocket. ... She didn''t look like she was going to take this fight seriously. "...PULL!"
<< SKILL ACTIVATE! Quick Draw Lv. 8. Weapon Armed. >>
<< PASSIVE SKILL ''Dead Eye Shot'' IN EFFECT. >>
<< FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! >>
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. *BANG!* *PTAAANG!* "HA-HA! GET WRECKED MOTHER........father.......I....Where''d my gun go?" Pastrache Mooneye felt something was wrong. It was wierd, she had the advantage, the enemy had her back turned. Not to mention, she increased her Quick Draw ability to the point where she could pull out her rifle at the ready in a matter of 0.5 second. She even updated her reactions to support it. But she didn''t understand, why her hands were squeezing empty air...As if she was ''acting'' in a play without any propers. "Shame. I thought you could impress me with a new skill. Maybe I shouldn''t have bother giving you a handicap." "Oh f**k, it''s a trap." The Half-Elf saw the reason why. She had indeed pulled out her weapon... but within that 0.3 second window, something ran faster and shot her Russian Rifle right out of her hands. She could see a trail of smoke wafting off from the barrel of another rifle. It was a over-the-top double barreled weapon. Not as modern looking as the WW2 Russian weapon, and had more intricate engravings in the iron plating. It also had a lever under the trigger... And it was sitting right over the woman''s slender shoulder... The butt of the rifle held in line with... the hand-sized mirror. The Half-Elf could see the woman''s grin in the reflection. "... The h*ll!? Do you have auto-aim or something! You cheating little wh--" "Now, now. No cursing in front of the children. You''ll be a bad influence." "Tch! Th-this is the worst situation possible!" Pastrache was an adventurer, but she didn''t have the same habits as them. That meant, carrying on them ''extra'' set of weaponry in case they lose the one they relied on the most. At most, she had a dagger she could use to defend herself. Which was in her backpack... which was in a T-34 Tank''s crew compartment... which who was far away somewhere. ... What are the odds. "D-don''t come near me, I-I know J-Jeet K--Kun doh! I-I''ll kick your @ss like a mule!" "Dance¡î." "What?" *BANG!* *BANG!* "SON OF A B*TCH!" "Na-ah-ah. No cursing please~¡î" Two more shots rang out in the backalley, hammering across the narrow walls. Two bursts of sand popped violently across the ground, half an inch away from Pastrache''s toes. Of course the Half-Elf had to dance away from such a frightening stimulus. And the woman with the mirror in her hand never once turned around to properly face her. She could only show how much she struggled to not giggle in the reflection of the mirror. "F**k! F**k! M-my pink toe almost tore off!" "Left¡î." *BANG!* "D*MN IT! S-STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH MY FEET! PUT DOWN THE GUN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A REAL WOMAN!" "Right.¡î" "Don''t you d--" *BANG!**BANG!**BANG!**BANG!**BANG!* "SH*T! Th-that clipped my finger nail! Th-that was too close to death! Help! Help! S-someone call the Royal Constabulary! Crabapple! Crabapple! Wh-where are you to keep the peace when I need you!?" "I hate to say this sugar, but in this town were everyone is essentially the walking dead, no one can hear you scream. Either they''re deaf or they''ll pounce on that cute body and gobble you up.¡î" "OH DEAR GODDESS! D-DON''T LET THEM RAPE MY BRAINS OUT!" "... So, any last words before I help you?" "................N...not in the crotch... please." "Okay~?." *Ka-chuk. BANG!BANG!BANG!* "WHY THE H*LL DID I SAY SOMETHING SO STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!?" "NELLO! NELLOOOOOO! WHERE ARE YOU MY BELOVED NELLO!? HELP ME! HELP MEEEEEE!" Pastrache was rolling. Not running, not diving, not dodging. She rolled, as hard as a barrel, fat cat, or even the wheel of a hamster cage. She moved as violently as possible to evade all possible bullet trajectory and kept bolting forward. She wasn''t sure how far the shooter was, neither did she take her chance and look behind her. But somehow... she felt the enemy didn''t bother to chase after her at all. "I still see you¡î" "TH-THE H*LL! I JUST TURNED FIVE CORNERS! DOES SHE HAVE A THIRD EYE OR SOMETHING!" "You''re rear end looks too big. You should cut down on the calories and midnight snacks sugar." "I''LL FREAKING PUNCH--" *BANG!* *CRACK* *BTOOOM!* "NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!" Pastrache could feel it, the bullets whizzing past her like leaping hounds. She could see their aftertrails bouncing off metallic surfaces everywhere she ran. Whether it be the iron band of a sign frame, the chains that dangled from catwalks, to even long forgotten horseshoes that were half-buried in the ground. Bouncing bullets... no, no. Magic Bullets. And no matter how many times Pastrache glanced over her shoulder, she was the only one running away right now. No one was chasing after her. "...Geh! I-is she using the reflection in the glass and reflective surfaces! Th-that''s God level cheating right there!" "It can''t be helped. Vampires have a 100/100 perfect vision. It''s very handy to notice even the shape of a fly when I look through 30 mirrors facing each other." "THIS WORLD IS BROKEN!" The Half-Elf yelped those words out and she did a tumble. She had to, or else the bullet she heard coming at her would have push into her spine, come out of her ribs, and through her solar plexus. So there was only one thing to do... "... Oh h*ll no, I''m not hiding in these barrels! I don''t want to see what guts or body parts they store in there to eat later!" *BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!* "THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIIIIIIIIIIIIR!" And so continues side character Pastrache''s adventure of misfortune. "WHO THE H*LL IS SINGING OVER MY WOES!? SHUT UP!"
"Run, run, Rudolph. Santa is LEAVING town."
[VOL.3] (8th_Heart) - The Cutest Mama in the Wild Wild West :: Dear Diary... There are three types of people I hate the most. One: people who think they deserve respect by stepping on your tail and head. Two: women who pinch my @ss, this includes men. Three: show offs. What really p*sses me off about number three, is the fact that they''re so much a natural with what they do, they have no idea how much other people hate them...Diary. Don''t ever grow up to be like them...No. I''m not in the mood to play ball base. Just let me--BUGYAAAH! M-MY FACE! :: *BANG!* *BANG!* *Ka-chuk* "Phew. It''s been a while since I worked up a sweat. Wonder who she was." "Bafu! Bafu!" "Oh! My sweet Clementine! I was so worried about you!" The woman held a unique rifle. It was on a completely different level than that of a certain Half-Elf''s Mosin-Nagant Russian Bolt Action. In fact, this model she carried had an older design. Neither was it as archaic as the matchlocks that were becoming a major brand in this fantasy world. It was longer than her leg, two barrels stacked on top of each other, and the bullet slugs were loaded into the chamber with a lever. Somewhat like a 1886 Winchester. And the woman who wielded this peculiar weapon, knelt down so she could happily hug the little Lycan Girl into her arms, leather tassels on her sleeve dancing. "Oh my little sugar bun is alright. You had Mama was so scared when you wandered off. I told you to stick close to me." "Bafu. Bafu-fu." "No excuse, little lady. You were supposed to hold my hand, especially when we walk out of the castle."If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Bafu-bafu-ba!" "... N-no. N-not yet. W-we won''t be going back to see the other Vampires we... we still got some sh-shopping to do right?" "... Bafu?" "Y-yes. W-we still need to buy garlic and onions... I-it''sspaghetti We-Wednesday, right?" "........................................." "N-no. Mama isn''t lying to you, d-don''t stare at me so hard!" The woman in the blue dress shuddered from the blank stares the Lycan Girl was giving her. It was as if the wolf girl had these hidden psychological powers that could distort one''s thought patterns or cognition. When it really was more like: a child scrutinizing their parent for not getting them any toys for Christmas. That was why the woman with the rifle was fidgeting on the spot. "L-let''s h-hurry up and get the rest of the ingredients and leave town." "...Bafu?" "I-I mean, leave town and go back home. O-of course. I-it''s not like we''re trying to run away." "........Ba?" "..............................." The little Lycan Girl Lily Tiger stared at her ''mother'' who had this faint smile on her pale face. Hiding the fangs under her lips, she would just scratch in between the pup''s ears, quietly laughing. "... You''re too sweet and innocent for this cruel world, Clementine. You don''t deserve to be a prisoner to us vampires." "Bafu, bafff." "Even if you don''t mind sitting around and play games in your cell called a bedchamber, you should see the world... I... I wish I had the power to give you that." Lily Tiger paused, and suddenly reached out. Her tiny paw touched the cold cheek of the Vampire woman, who suddenly melted. A small tear fell from her eye. "... Thank you Clementine, for cheering Mama up... For your sake, I''ll become stronger." The woman wiped away the small tear from her face, and pulled the Lycan girl into a deep hug. Holding her close as if she was the only thing she could ever cherish in this cold and rough world. "...Sniff. Alright. So tell me, who is the best mama in the wild, wild west!?" "Bafu! Bafu-fu-fu! Bafu!" "That''s right! It''s good ol'' Amy Oakley! Yee-haaw!"
[VOL.3] (9th_Track) - The Tank, The Vampire, The Puppy :: A-Anne. Wh-what should we do now? B-Big Sis ran away to go after Lily Tiger. A-and I couldn¡¯t fit through these tight roads. I-I¡¯m scared I¡¯ll get stuck and never come out¡­ That¡¯s worse than having a puppy pee on my head¡­ Uwa-uwa. And this city is very scary. I-I have no idea how are we going to get out of here. I-I don¡¯t want to die, Anne. I-I want to help Big Sis to build a big house for five people. I-I really am looking forward to my own bedroom¡­ Y¡­you¡¯re right Anne. W-we can¡¯t be scared anymore. I-I¡¯m all grown up¡­So¡­So I have to be brave!.. So¡­ could you please stop kicking my legs? OW! :: "Bafuuu! Bafuuu!" "N-now, I know your hungry, but this is hardly the time and place for me to unbotton my blouse for you to have milk. Come along now Clementine!" Amy Oakley bit her lip, hard enough to keep her senses on high alert but not too sharp or else her Vampire fangs will pierce through the skin. The last thing she wanted, was to get distracted by the taste of her own blood. The last time she cut herself while cooking... she realized she had been sucking on her finger for more than six hours. One of the many problems of being a vampire, in her point of view. "So far so good. The coast is clear and noe one is the wiser. We might be able to get out of here." "...Bafuu?" "... No, Clementine. I should have told you this earlier but we''re really not going to shop for food and go home. We''re leaving this place." "............................" "P-please don''t look at me like that, little one. This was last minute decision for myself too! I-I''m already anxious abandoning my own home. I-I may have been a rebel in my youth, b-but this is too big of a leap!" "...........Bafu?" "Because, if I don''t take you away from this terrible place, the others...... they''ll..." Amy Oakley bit her lip again. The moment she felt her fangs about to break the skin, she slacked her jaw before blood was drawn. It was a bad habit, and it was made worse with her Vampiric Blood. She had to change it to something else, like nail biting, that was healthier... Wait no, that would mean disfiguring her fingers. She prized her hands, as much as her other womanly features. Not to mention, she was on a tight schedule. There was no time to dawdle. "Bafu? Fu-fu?" "... I won''t let anyone hurt you. That''s all I want. So just stay close to mama and everything will be alright." "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HALP! HALP! SOMEONE HAAAAAAALP!" "... Odd. I never knew you could speak Clementine... also. Why do you sound like a little boy? You''re a girl, right?" "... Bafu?"A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. By the time Amy Oakley tried to figure out the mystery like the heroine of a mystery novel, the answer came skidding across the road in front of her. A T-34 Russian Tank screeching to a dead halt. "...What in Tarnations is that?" "...Ba?" "AAAAAAGH! MY NOSE! THE CAT IS RIPPING MY NOSE! HAAAAAAAAALP!" The Vampire Riflewoman watched as this large monstrosity called a World War 2 Tank was flailing about on the road, like a stuntman on fire. The vehicle may not have been exactly set ablaze, but what it was trying to get rid off from its body was close to that effect. Essentially, it was wildly waving around hits cannon nose... a stubborn looking Hellcat grabbing on its barrel like a tree branch. It looked like a mean sucker... but at this point, it was hard to tell who was the true victim of this situation.... Oh yeah no, the Hellcat was mean as f**k. It''s spitting acidic flames from its mouth and punching in the poor Tank''s nose with its armor bashing claws. "OOOOW! OOOOOW! M-MY NOSE IS GOING TO FALL OFF! I-IT HURTS! IT REALLY HURTS! BIG SIS! BIG SIS! PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS BAD CAAAAAAAT!" "..............................Clementine. Could you please cover your ears?" "Baff!" Little Lily Tiger nodded and the Werewolf Pup cupped her paws over her doggy ears. With a nod, a pat on the head, Amy Oakley pulled her rifle off her shoulder, pulled the lever to load a bullet into the chamber... and turned around. Holding her mirror out for better accuracy. *BANG!* *SLICE!*--*FLOP!*
<< OAKLEY used WINCHESTER on Hellflame Cougar. Dealt -1000 Piercing Damage. >>
<< Hellflame Cougar''s Status is now Prone and Disarmed. Player have Advantage over it. >>
<< Hellflame Cougar''s HP is -500. It is permenantly dead. All buffs deactivated. >>
<< OAKLEY gained +2000 EXP, and Bonus +800 EXP for Trick Shot Award. >>
"AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAA--Oh......It''s gone... did the cat give up?" Nello blinked... or... if he had a face he would have blinked. Because he felt whatever was grabbing his cannon became lighter, as if it wasn''t there anymore. So it adjusted its DT Machine Gun eye to look down his barrel. Only a pair of Hellcat arms were left stuck in the metal, but they eventually fell off. The monster cat was no were to be seen... obvious with two front legs missing but that''s a story for another time. "Hello there Sugar. You lost?" "...Um...D-did you just save me?" "I might have. Would you kiss me if I said yes? Ha-ha. Just joking, little one." ".....Thank you so much Hat Lady. I-I really appreciate it! For a second, I thought that cat was going to eat me!" "................................I highly doubt them Hellflame Cougars would adopt a taste for metal... even if they did, they would most certainly get iron indigestion by the time they finish nibbling your legs first." "No! Not my legs! Y-You can''t take them!" "Not me. The cats, I...never mind." Amy Oakley holstered her rifle and put away her mirror into her bag. She stared at this odd vehicle, in her eyes a form of armored wagon that need not horses to move. By the way it fidgeted back and forth on its iron tracks, she deduced it was some kind of magical construct of some kind. If only Nello was that elaborate. "Are you a Golem?" "That word again. To this day, I still don''t know what it is." "Odd. Even if Golem''s aren''t that bright and all, they should be able to recognize they are one."
<< OAKLEY used VICIOUS TONGUE on Nello. Dealt -800 Psychological Damage >>
<< OAKLEY''s Relationship with Nello has decreased by 10%. Please seek counselling. >>
"..........Hat Lady. I feel like you''re calling me stupid." "No, no. Of course not sugar. In fact, you''re rather cute." "Uwaaaah. Hat lady praised me."
<< OAKLEY used HONEYED WORDS on Nello. Dealt +1000 Psychological Damage. >>
<< OAKLEY''s Relationship with Nello has increased by 500%. Congratulations, You''re now BFFs. >>
The small Werewolf girl watched, as this 23 ton machine turned its turret head to the side and lowered its cannon barrel. The same way a litlte boy would look away with a red face. Deep down, it p*ssed her off. Lily Tiger believed, she was the cutest child in the Wild Wild West. [VOL.3] (10th_Blood) - A Mothers Lament to an Understanding Tank :: Pant Pant Pant... Sh*t! Th-this Undead City is too big! Everyone is long gone or just walking around in d*mn circles! Can''t they shrink the scale! Pant Pant.......Sigh... I wonder how''s Nello doing... I hope he doesn''t get kidnapped....AH F**K! LEVEL 3 BAT SWARM! KYAAAA!:: "Hat Lady. Have you seen Big Sis?" "Is your Sister a Golem or an Undead?" "...I don''t know what either of them are." "You don''t know what an Undead is?" "....................Should I?" Nello was having trouble. There were too many rules to learn in a short amount of time. For instance, he had trouble digesting the definition of ''living dead'', ''immoral immortals'', or ''h*llish abominations''. First off, he didn''t know what a Golem was. That''s problem number one. Second, he didn''t have a brain... That was not an insult, feel free to climb into his crew quarter and see where in his body could they cram an organic brain. In desperate times where mass production and cheap material costs were at an all-time high, be lucky there''s enough elbow room for five guys to sit together without punching each other in the face. Now, back to the story. "I''ll be honest, sugar, as much as I would like to sit down and teach you from the beginning, I don''t have the time. I''m in a bit of a rush, you see. We''re leaving town." ".............................................Can I come with you? The people here are scary." "....... I don''t see why not. Come, come!"
<< NELLO wants to join your Party? Do you Accept (Y/N)? >> => YES (A)
<< Congratulations! T-34 TANK has joined your party! Your Power Level has increased by 600%! >>
----- <<__ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__>> ~Friends in High Places~ You invited a Party Member that is 30 times your level. Does He Owe You Money? -----
"...Hat Lady. Why are there all these glass things covering my face? I can''t read them." "Sugar, mind telling me hat''s a T-34 Tank?" "Me." "Who?" Amy Oakley didn''t mind Nello joining her, not one bit. First, she had no f**king clue what a tank was, neither did she see any tactical value to have a tank in her company. In fact, from her perspective, it was no better than having another child to look after. She may have been single, but she had faith in her maternal instincts... to a certain degree. "Bafu. Bafu." "I-I will give you milk later. First, we leave this town before the other noticed our escape. The fake dolls I made could only last so long!" "Baaaaa..." "Oh don''t be like that Clementine... Oh, alright, I''ll give you a piggy back. Come on." "... Do you need help Hat Lady?" "I may look dainty, but trust me - I''ve wrestled worse... No Clementine, I do love you. Now climb on." Nello would watch as the nice lady he met would kneel down to allow the weary Werewolf Puppy to climb up on her back. With a heave, a ho, and a hup, she got the little tike on her back, patting her bottom. The second Lily Tiger found herself comfortable, she turned into a Canadian Log... snoring. "Bafyuuuuzzzz....Bafyuuuuuzzzzz...Bafyuuuuzzzzzz." "Poor girl. She''s all tuckered out. I shouldn''t have pushed her this far... but it''s necessary." "Why is that? Is something wrong?" "Of course, my fellow Vampires are planning to execute her." "............................." The Tank came to a slow stop, like a protagonist hearing a news that weighed upon his shoulder. Only to have the Vampire Riflewoman nod her head for the tank to keep following her, or be left behind.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. "... Why would they want to hurt her? She''s so small." "It''s because she''s so small, that they want to use this opportunity to make an example of her." "Example?" "To show true dominance over the Werewolves. Personally, I think this ageless feud is completely stupid." ".........................." "...Come on, sugar. We can''t dawdle." "Oh! S-sorry!" Amy Oakley smiled, watching the tank unpause and quickly trot after her on his tracks. This was the first time she had a decent conversation with someone. True, she had Lily Tiger, the little Werewolf pupwith cute floppy ears she could play all day and all night. Alas,the Pup could only say one word... as if she was trying to cast herself for a role in a series of monsters in your pockets. Still slightly lonely. Now, the Vampire Riflewoman felt like she had a chance to unload her inner thoughts... like a diary. "My kind always hated the werewolves. It has been going on for centuries. No one knows when it all started." "...Why? The Doggy People are very nice. They even gave my Big Sis corn." "I know. But that''s how we were raised. My pops and my uncles all taught me to loath them Beastfolk, even think of them as ants you can step on freely. Despise, judgement, cruelty... To this day, I''ve mistakenly adopted their dislike for their kind. And it''s not a habit I can easily kick." "...Isn''t that wrong?" "It is, little one, but who are we, the next generation, to question about our Elder''s Way...Especially if the old fogeys ran the Vampire Enclave for millenias... Honestly, I''m sick and tired of this sh*t." "...Is that why you''re leaving?" "...............................................................Huh. Look at me. Being all so brave to rescue a little Werewolf from certain death... Knowing that doingso would expell me from my kin....... Yet would you find it hilarious... how I never had this courage for myself since I was a little lass?" "... You were scared to run away... weren''t you?" "Bet your britches, little one." "... What''s a Britch?" Nello wished he had a tongue. That way, he could bite it to stop himself from ad libbing. He felt guilty for saying that out loud. However, to his comfort, the Vampire Riflewoman shook her head with a small and guilty laugh, all the while carrying the Werewolf girl on her back... as if she were her own flesh and blood daughter. "I worked hard, to become the best shooter in this parts... so no one would bully me. So they wouldn''t mind who I really am... I was delusional really, they''ve never accepted me from the day I was born." "H-how come? That sounds really mean." "Because I''m a Half-blood... I''m a Dhampir........." ".............................................................." "That''s right... I''m not a real Vampire... isn''t that funny?" "...... N... no it''s not that, I--" "I had always wished, I could be part of my clan. To be a real Vampire and hold my chin up at their level... so everytime they beat me, or spit on me... calling me an impurity... I... I was scared, that if I left then - I would lose everything I was working for... I''ll be brought back to zero... I didn''t want that kind of loneliness...Sniff." "Um. Hat Lady. Hat Lady, we--" "You''re right... I''m a coward... look at me... crying at a time like this. I''m supposed to be helping little Clementine out of this h*ll hole... yet look at me... weeping like a lost girl... I''m really pathetic aren''t I?....Sh*t... my vampire blood is messing with my body again... I-I honestly can''t stop crying unless I hit myself... but my hands are full... Hey, little one... can you hit me?" Nello swung his nose out at her, straight to the face and--- *BTAAAANG!* ---Bounced off a bullet from hitting Oakley''s right eye. "......................Heh?" "Hat Lady... did you um...call for back up?" "... No...Why?" Amy Oakley blinked the water from her eyes, even shaking her head to force her nerves to stop crying. Once she had control over her sensitive emotions.......................... ...She saw the 30 different Vampires and Zombies standing on the road... on the porches of dead saloons... the rotting rooftops. They were all armed with either an iron crossbow or exotic matchlocks, trinkets left behind by unfortunate Adventurers who ventured this far into No Living Man''s Land. They all had their sights trained on one person... The Dhamphir girl who was piggybacking a Werewolf girl. "........ Wh...what''s all the fuss? I''m just taking Celemtine on a stroll." "Who do you think you''re trying to fool, Half-blood. The moment I saw the decoy dolls, I knew something was up." "Tch... I should have raised my Seamstress Skill a little higher." Amy Oakley flinched at the voice that called out to her. A voice that made Nello perk his nose up and look around. "... Wait. How come I recognize that voice?" ".............Sh*t. You''re the last thing I want to deal with right now. My head still hurts just from looking at our tracks." Nello turned his turret head, to the sound of a sword stabbing into the ground multiple times. He didn''t know what it meant, but deep down he felt it was a bad omen. Maybe because the one approaching him, was a man - half biological, half crystal. He looked like someone who got accidentally sawed in half, and had this miraculous surgery to a form of animated crystal formation that made up his one leg, torso, shoulder, arm, and even half his face. The rocks were of a color crimson, like enchanted blood. And there was only one person who could scowl violently upon seeing the T-34 Tank. "... As much as I want to just gut this traitor with my new hands... You and I have a score to settle, golem." "What''s a golem?"
<< NELLO used INNOCENT INSULT on VAMPIRE Lv30. Dealt -9000 Emotional Damage >>
<< VAMPIRE Lv30''s Status is: P*ssed off. Please seek counselling. >>
----- <<__ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__>> ~Slapping Al Capone~ You angered a known Dangerous Figure in the community - Are you stupid!?
"Are you calling Mad-Eye Jack an idiot!?" "I really don''t know what it means!" [VOL.3] (11th_Step) - A Half-Elfs Dilemma of Blood and Directions (Do You Know De Wae?) :: Lost contact with Nello. Stuck behind enemy lines. Mission objective: find bat woman and shoot her in @ss. Feeling useless. No clue whore arm eye. Fisheggroot. (Rock too dull, not legible) :: "D*mn it, where did that little vamp b*tch go?" "Could be this way?" "Fix your head on the right way before you point, skull heap!" There was a horde of Marching Undead, searching throughout the desert city. Be it Zombies, Skeletons, Vampires, Ghouls, Banshees, Liches, you name it. All of them were running around town, arms with bone clubs, rusted shovels, claw covered in decayed gore, flesh ripping teeth, or the occasional matchlock pistols and rifles.Each and everyone were calling out to each other. All of them trying to figure out what was the most efficient way to search for someone who was hiding in their city. There was no need to tell them bluntly, but we all known their Intelligence Score would be deep below the negatives. So it made sense if they spend more time arguing and slapping each other, more than actually looking for them.If they remember what they are searching for, that is their version of a Godly Miracle. "I think that bat girl went that way? Yeah, I trust my gut feeling!" "I want to be confident in your words, Zombo, but your intestines are on the floor... that Hellhound pup right there?She nibbling on your gall bladder." "SH*T! AMSCRAY LITTLE VERMIN! SHOO! GIT" "Here, I''ll distract it with my femur bone... Come on boy, FETCH!" "..........Good throw Skelley! That was... Wait. Why are you lying on the ground?" "F**K." Among the horde was this Zombie Rancher and Skeleton Gunslinger. It was hard to describe them in detail, because you know how they look and not everyone is a fan of horror movies. The best way to portray them, would be the fact they wore wide brim hats, leather boots, and some bandoliers belts. Sometimes those belts either have musket pellets, or their fingers, whichever was more convenient to carry. Like the others, they were spending more time debating which direction they should go to find their prey. It was a simple ''left'' or ''right'' choice... It has been about three hours since they''ve moved from the starting point. "You know, I think she went left. I''m sure of it. It''s a Vampire Trait, they always choose left." "You''re pointing down the road behind you, Skelley! Screw your head back on!" "Like this, Zombo?" "Just because you can rotate your rib cage without your hips doesn''t make you smarter!" "Hey, I practiced on that trick for a long time. Give me some credit, son!" The Zombie Rancher sighed, but he tried not to sigh too hard. His jaw muscle was on the point of breaking, so anything so much as a smile, laugh, or chuckle, the lower jaw is gonna come off. For your sake, he just frowns. "I say we be going this way. It''s shorter." "... Which way, Zombie? Your arm is missing." "D*MN IT! I KEEP TELLING THEM GNOLLS TO STOP USING MY LIMBS TO RAKE THEIR FIELDS! I''LL GUT THEM!" "Why don''t we flip a human head to decide? It''s easier!" "We can''t. The last one we used was too tender and it exploded when it hit the ground... Dang''nabbit, why them Elf heads so squishy these days?" "... Hey, Zombo. Why can''t we just go back to the saloon and finish our drinks?" "That d*mn Dhampir, that''s what, Skelley! The entire Vampire Clan is up in arms looking for her, ranting about how she escape with their prisoner. If we don''t at least try and help them, we''ll be nothing but ashes for sure." "................. Help me get my Femur back." "It''s your own d*mn fault for trying to be smart, bucko!" The Skeleton Gunslinger was grateful for having such a thoughtful companion. Not only did the Zombie Rancher with one missing arm fight the Hellhound puppy to get his femur back, he smacked his skull in as a ''Your Welcome'' - baseball bat style. Once the UndeadBeing put himself back together, he would stand up and brush the dust from his belt and bandolier. "Hmm? Why can''t I bend my knee like before?" "Your femurs on backwards." "Sh*t. I hate math." "Honestly, I really want to sit this search party out. It''s just them Vampires throwing a fit with their civil unrest and sh*t." "I agree. I much rather sit on the porch of the saloon and have a drink... And then fight the occassional Adventurers who make it through the gate." "Uuugh. Not me Skelley. Not me. Remember what happened the last time our city got breached by them squishies.That Sorceress summoned a Troll and knocked the head off of the Lich Sheriff... He had to dig through Cave Dragon dung to get it back." "Aaaaaah. I may no longer have flesh, I honestly don''t want my skull in such a situation." The Zombie Rancher and Skeleton Gunslinger let out a sigh, like two salaryman who were finishing their break.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. "... Let''s just go catch her, strip her, hang her, and then go back to the bar." "You havemy shoulder blade, Zombo." With a small handshake, the two Undead decided to share the same point of view and agree on one direction to travel in.................They ended up taking two different directions. "The f**k, bonehead! Screw your head back on and follow me! This way is easier!" "How about get your arms back from the Gardening Gnolls before you say that again, huh!?" Once again, they stood at the starting point for another 3 hours.
<< You passed your Stealth Check DC 16. No one has detected you yet. >>
<< Congratulations, you gain +800 Experience points for evading detection. >>
<< Your Stealth Skill has increase to Level 8. Keep Calm and Crawl On. >>
"...............Oh my god. I am surrounded by scary idiots." Pastrache clenched her lips, her hands, and even the cheeks of herroundbutt.The only thing she could do was stay in her cover for as long as possible. No matter how stuffy, or how disgusting the hidingplace was, she had to keep her head low or risk being spotted by the enemy. .............Still, she thanked the Goddess of Adventure and Espionage, because she somehow acquired a neglected item that happened to be lying around the undead city. Hint, you use it to move stuff at home and at work. "... Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine myselfusing a cardboard box to hide amonst the wandering dead... Thank you Lady Bond, I-I will burn super expensive incense in your honor... after a 5 hour bubble bath and three days worth of sleep first!" The Half-Elf remained as still as she possible could, else any abrupt or sudden noise could tip her off. At most, she would peek her eyes through the flap in the side of the box that was used for a convenient handle for easy lift. In her case, she was using that small flap and looked through it - like a submarine periscope. Rotting legs, old leather boots, and some broken iron grieves that were once used by Adventurers she may or may not know... Wait, she knew them. She remember making the dent in the leg armor when a Paladin from her Guild grabbed her @ss. She could still see the print of her boot on that piece of twisted metal. There was also a flock of headless horses, not the riders the animals themselves, and they were charging down the main roads, past her hiding spot. They all seem to be in a hurry, hollering and waving each other as they divided their forces into small hunting parties. The Half-Elf didn''t know the details, but it looked like everyone was on high alert. "...Dhampir?... I-isn''t that like, a hybrid offspring between a Vampire and a Human?... Th-they''re super rare in this world. E-especially when there is a 99% chance the child would be a stillborn... For someone like that to be born alive, is like winning the lottery...But what did they do to p*ss off the entire undead city? I wonder. MEAP!" Pastrache ducked when she saw someone run past her, biting her tongue until she bleed. When she felt the ground stop rumbling, she peered through the flap once more. Personally, she knew it was impossible to have a proper love affair between two races - especially between the living and the dead. At most, Vampires would woo men or women. Humans would fantasize falling in love with these night walkers.Tieing the knot, exchanging vows, and having a small home to live together was still doable. With Vampire wealth, they would not need to worry about painful things like mortgages or magical hydro bills... But to pop a half-living and half-dead child from a woman''s belly... Sorry, no amount of violent and rampant love making would make it possible, let alone easy. Even if the Goddess of Holy Justice forgave their unholy union and grant them a newborn... they were a rare subbreed that any Royal Scientist or Research would ''kill'' to get their hands on... no joke. Worse case scenario, the entire kingdom''s army would be knocking on their front door. "... Huh... That means she''s also a half-breed like me... No doubt she must have had a rough life... trying to prove to her peers she was as capable of Vampire or Human she could possibly be....... I... I honestly don''t want to see her face when they casually shun and rebuke her like a stray dog... I... I don''t want to look in a living mirror." Pastrache said those as she patted her cheeks to keep her mind focus. Being inside of a cardboard box was beneficial to her Stealth Checks, but it was murder when it came to the intense hot weather outside the cardboard layers. Essentially, she was curled up in a mobile oven. It wasn''t hot enough to cook meat through and through, but it was enough to make her start suffocating if shedidn''t get proper ventilation. Wih her low Player Character Level, it''s obvious she didn''t have advanced spells like Bubble Helmet or Gust of Wind. "I-I can''t stay in this position too long. Eventually, the enemy will start searching through even inconspicious places. It''s only a matter of time before they find me...Pant Pant... Also, I-I really don''t want to pass out at a time like this... who knows what these lonely undead may do to my chaste body!" Realizing how dangerous her position was, Pastrache started to move. She used every muscle fiber in her body to twist and slide her limbs across the sand, making as little unecessary noise as possible. All the while pushing the Cardboard Box along with her. At most, she would skamper like a desert lizard only when she could hear the beating of headless horse hooves in the distance, to mask her noises. Sometimes, she matched the foot steps of a Zombie or Lich in order to get from one corner of the building after another. To make her stealth more authentic, the cardboard would play dead on the road when a posse of undead were to run near its position. Whenever the coast was clear, it would shuffle away like a cockroach. "............................. Why do I feel like a bug? I don''t like this feeling one bit [TxT]."
<< Stealth Check 18 versus DC 16. Pass. You remain undetected. >>
<< Stealth Check 17 versus DC 16. Pass. You remain undetected. >>
<< Stealth Check Nat-20 versus DC 16. Pass. You remain undetected AND found some coins. >>
<< Stealth Check16 versus DC 16. Pass. You remain undetected. >>
<< Stealth Check 1 versus DC 16. Pa--CRIT FAIL!! Stealth is Broken. BON CHANCE>>
"Hmm? A cardboard box?" "MMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!! [OxO]" Pastracheslapped her mouth shut with both hands, right before her lungs burst with a squeal. Like a silencer to a pistol, it dampened her scream to the point of being mistaken as a frog burping. By her animal instinct, she froze on the spot under her cardboard box, hoping the stillness would save her in the last minute. She could only chance peeking through the periscope of a hand flap in the side of the box. The legs of a skeleton... for some reason, one of their femur was put on backwards. "......................................................Fuumooffuu..." Pastrache wasn''t that kind of girl - but she really wanted to pee so badly.
<< Accessing Cardboard Box Dashboard Camera.................. COMPLETE... Sh*t. >>
[VOL.3] (12th_Tails) - Mirror, Mirror. Who is the True Demon of the West? :: OH F**K - OH F**K - OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F**K- OH F-----:: "Come on, Baba, I can smell that Dhampir. Her and her cr*p ton of cinnamon perfume, I know she''s close by." "Gaguuuaraaaaa..." Everyone was on a massive man-hunt... sorry, Undead hunt. They all had their seperate reasons, whether it be for the sake of justice (#No), obeying orders from the higher ups (#50-50), or more importantly-- "Hurry it up, Baba! We''re too slow! if someone else grabs that bat-woman, they''ll get the reward money before we do! I don''t want that! Just think - 1,000,000 Gold PIeces and 99 Silver coins! Imagine what we could do with that moolah!" "...Gaguuurrauuaggag..." "I don''t need food or clothing, I''m a Lich. All those basic necessity in life are useless. Oooh, I can finally get me a new Staff of Blasting +10! Then I don''t have to wave around this broomstick I had been over-enchanting for the past 10 years! Oh, oh, oh, I heard a new line of Slippers of Web Climbing just came out on the market - and they''re super pricey!" "... Gaguuuuraagga...Gaaagg...Ghuuaarr.." "Yes, yes, yes. I promise to buy you three cobs of corn for lunch. Don''t interrupt me and keep running." "...Gauuuga..." "What do you mean this is your maximum walking speed? 10 ft per hour does not count as your fastest velocity! Now mush!" Barreling through the undead town, was a giant head. No, it wasn''t the floating kind. No matter how unrealistic this reality and fantasy world was, there were some things that need to obey the laws of physics. So it wasn''t an actual floating head the size of a cargo truck, that mass alone would be impossible to stay aloft in the air. So it was a giant hand, attached to a giant body. The total height was 5 meters, it easily cleared the maximum scale of all buildings in theghoul town. Fortunately, the roads were wide enough, or else those buildings would have their face melted right off from so much as a shoulder brush. Because the creature was a large Ogre........ no, he was not alive. It was dead. Yes, this narrator is aware the dead can''t move. But in this Necrotic City, anything is possible. Especially when therewas thisLich sitting on his head. Oddly, the Lich was the size of a pixie...... Wait... it was a Pixie. "Gaaah! Ever since I''ve been kicked out of the fairy kingdom, I''ve been hitting nothing but bad luck. Human lover took my money, I was swindled of my last savings from shady investments, and don''t get me started on the Market Crash in the last Capital City I was in........ I hate myself. Why can''t I be born a Leprauchaun and be lulcky all the time! Tch." "Gaggauuuuuaa." "You''re right Baba. I shouldn''t get angry. The more twisted my rage gets, the more likely I get wrinkles. Now that I''m a Lich, it''s going to be impossible for my skin to repair itself... Aaaah. I don''t have enough pocket money to buy more cosmetic masks, and the custom ones that fit my thimble-size face is too expensive!" "Gagauuuua?" "No. I refuse to put wierd @ss mud on my face. I''m not that desperate." The Undead Ogre made a motion sort of like a shrug, and continued to march through the road. Anyone in its vicinity, Ghouls, Hellhounds, Vampire Riders, easily moved around it, not at all bothered by the monstrocity with guts and rotting muscles exposed to the world.It was as if this sight was a common occurrence... *double shrug* "Gaaaah! This is bad, I''m losing focus! We have to hurry and beat the others or else they''ll snag the reward money from our fingers!" "Gauggagg...Aaayyagggggaaaa..." "No, I don''t care what the Vampires will do to the half-blood. She isn''t my problem. In fact, I will consider their torture as a bonus for me. Don''t you remember!? that b*tch beat me at the Miss Undead Beauty Pageant, five times in a row! Everyone knows I''m the prettiest Lich in the world! Right? RIGHT!?" "Guaauuuaa...aaaah." "No. I don''t give a sh*t that everyone treats me as a little girl! I''m a Pixie! I''m already over 800 years old! And I''m a Lich god-d*mn it, I deserve fear and groveling. Not pats on the head! I''m not a cat that everyone wants to cuddle in front of a fireplace d*mmit!" "Aagaaggaaa." "Shut it, Baba! D-don''t remind me! Due to my size, the other Liches make fun of me. I-I can''t even get a job being a Marshal or Sheriff around here, how do you expect me to feed you corn, let alone keep my shack of a house from tipping over when it rains!?" "Gaauugaaag..." "... Oh you''re so sweet. For my sake, you''re willing to eat trash... Wait, no, don''t.With all this volatile cr*p around here, I honestly don''t want to be burned alive when some d*mn spark lights your gas... I-it wouldn''t look good on my obituary." The Pixie that was also a Lich put on a frown. She was about 10 cm tall, and her body was super squishy. Originally she could be smothered or crushed to death by so much as being accidentallysat on in a movie theater. But with her newfound Lich Power, a simple attack like that wouldn''t kill her. No, she would first explode as a bubble of ash, and then reform her body again. So long as no one steps on her phylactery the size of a tooth, she''s golden... but then again, whenever her Undead Ogre Familiar would roll on top of her in his sleep... she wished someone would come by and step on that tooth-size anchor of life - just to put her out of her misery. "Ah, My mind is going into a downward spiral. I-is this a side-efect of becoming a vengeful Lich? Tch, I should have looked at the multi-classing tables more carefully!!" "Guugaagga...Aagagaga.." "Hmm? What is it Baba? If you haven''t found that Dhampir wh*re, don''t call me and let me wallow in my gloom." "Zombo! Give me a hand over here! This box is tough!" "I only have just the one arm Skelley, there''s only so much I can do." "...What the f**k?" The Pixie Lich would snap out of her wallowing despair, and look around. With some help, the giant Ogre she was riding upon turn to a pair of voices that was on an intersecting road. Down the middle, they saw two peculiar Undead playing some kind of messed up game of tug-o-war. The rope was a cardboard box... and no matter how hard they pulled, it didn''t budge one centimeter, as if something inside was working hard to fight back "ZOMBO!" "SKELLEY!" "ZOMBOOOOOO!" "SKELLEEEEEEY!" "ZOMBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "SKELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" "...Aaaaaaah - SHUT UP! You two are making too much noises! Do you not see what you''re doing to that Banshee over there? She''s practically fantasizing a necrotic Boy x Boy lovescene in her head!" ".................." ".................." The Ogre lowered his head. He didn''t need to see, he had only one eye. Also, he was dead, so he really can''t perceive anything. The only way he could move around without hitting sh*t, was based on some extra-sensory systems integrated into his skin by the power of the Pixie Lich. Essentially, a magical radar that told whatever was left of his motion-based nerve system which way to turn and what object to avoid bumping into. Convenient... but scary as h*ll if you think about it. The only reason why the Ogre bowed his head, was so the 10 cm Pixie Lich could see the a certain Skeletal Gunslinger and Zombie Rancher under the ''dimmed'' sky light. "Although we''re rivals when it comes to chasing after the Dhampir to get the reward cash, I can''t help but ask - what the f**k are you two @ssholes doing?" ".................." "................." "...................Hey Zombo. She your girl?" "Nah Skelley. I may be a dead man walking, but even I don''t have that kind of fetish. She''s too young for me anyway." "I AM A F**KING LICH YOU ROTTING F**KTARDS! 800 YEARS ABOVE AGE! I CAN LEGALLY DRINK BEER IF I WANT TO!" "Hmm? Zombo, did I step on something again?" "Yeah, that would be my small intestines Skelley. Mind getting your foot off."Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. "LISTEN TO THIS LICH YOU DOLT CORPSES!" The Pixie Lich was heaving her bossom in and out. She made the sound of those classic accordian style air pumps you use to stoke an old fireplace. Hisss-hooo-hisss-hooo-hiss-hooo. It''s true she''s a Lich, she need not food, water, or even air to survive. But still, old habits die hard... hence the heaving of her enraged bossoms... "Tch. Forget them, Baba! It''s just a pair of idiots wasting time like they usually do. Come, we''ve got real workfor us! Like finding that Dhamphir and giving her a b*tch slapping of a life---" "Gaaugguuagaagag?" "NYAAAAAAAH!" The Lich gave a shriek, harder than a banshee. The reason was obvious, because she felt her body drop a good 30 ft in the air without warning. You know, that experience one would get when the plane enters turbulence... yeah that bad. Despite the fact she was a magical undead, she still wanted to pee, very badly after that sudden drop. "Gauugga? Uuuagga? "B-Baba!? Wh-what are you doing!? F-forget the box! The Dhampir is getting away the more we dawdle---Gyaaah!!" The Ogre was already on his knees in the sand. Even with one eye missing, it was still examining the little cardboard box that was sitting oddly across the road. It was small, compared to the Undead Ogre, but was big enough to hide something of average build. A human, per se, but we don''t know until we open it. And the Undead Ogre Familiar was essentially trying to solve this Shroedinger''s Cat Philosophy right now.
<< Undead Orge gains +800 EXP for Investigation Check. >>
<< CONGRATULATIONS, Undead Ogre''s Intelligence Score Increased by 2! >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Smarter Every Day~ Despite it being out of character, you took the time to examine the fine details. Medal of Honor -----
<< Pixie Lich status is Shocked. Dealt -1000 Psychological Damage to her. Her mind is now Prone.>>
"... If possible, I want to vaporize whoever designed this stupid Mystical Notification System." The Pixie Lich clenched her tiny jaw, teeth scraping harder than a nail on a chalk board. After punching close the mystical window with a fireball spell, she turned on her seat across the Undead Ogre''s head and pulled at... whatever hair it had left. Like horse reigns. "Giddy up, Baba. We don''t have time to waste--GYAAAAAAAAAAA!" The little 10 cm rider gave out that scream once more, when she felt her body fall another 30 ft. This time, it was because the Ogre was now down on all fours, curled up tightly like a panther about to spring for its prey. And it was eyeing the little cardboard box... ... With the words [FRESH CORN] labelled on the side. "GUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" "BAD BABA! BAAAAAAD!! NO CORN FOR YOU! NO CORN FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" The Pixie Lich gave out a yelp as her Undead Familiar jumped. All she could do was watch him grab the box, ripping it off the ground as if it pulled an entire tree with its root.With a flick he popped the little box of ''corn'' into his mouth, as if a piece of popcorn. "..........Ah." "..........Ah." Two voices echoed that moment. One belonged to the Pixie Lich... ... The other was this beautiful girl, who had fallen out of the flimsy box in the air. The two maidens stared at each other, one sitting on the Ogre''s head like a chair and the other dropping from free fall. No words were exchanged, but somehow their feelings were mutual. Why? - Because the Lich saw a drop of tear fill the falling girl''s eyes. And she fell into the Ogre''s mouth. *GULP!* ".............O...oh my god I''m gonna be sick--UUURRG!" The Keeper of the Undead creature turned away from this horrific sight. Despite her Lich consitution, sheended up wretching over the side of the head with great vengeance and furious anger. *PING* "Hmm?... Hey Zombo?" "What Skelley?" "Them Ogres. Are they like frogs?" "... No. What makes you say that?" "Why is this guy''s gut bulging like it''s about to pop?" On the ground, the Skeleton Gunslinger and the Zombie Rancher turned. They both eyed the stomach of the Undead Ogre, which was oddly expanding. As mentioned, it resembled the bulge of a frog''s throat... but it wasn''t shrinking down. Worse, parts of the muscle fibers were ripping, and several trails of water were squirting out from tiny holes all over. Before anyone could voice their doctor''s opinion, or even search for the diagnosis on the Ethereal Net Drive-- --A Massive Flood of Holy Water exploded from inside of the Ogre''s stomach.
<< You used HOLY WATER HAND GRENADE. Dealt -10,000 Radiant Damage. >>
<< All Undead targets within 50 ft radius make a Dexterity Saving Throw DC 30. >>
<< Failed Saves receive5000 Holy Damage and are Purified. Save Success receive half damage. >>
<< You gained +20,000 EXP for wiping out 30 targets simultaneously >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~KILIMANJARO~ You defeated 30+ Enemies with one Action. Please seek Counselling -----
"EW-EW-EW-EW-EW-EW-EW-EW-EW--EEEEEEEWWWWW!" Pastrache burst out from whatever was left of the Ogre''s ruptured guts. She was then seen bolting through the water, quickly splashing the waves into her body. It looked like she was tryign to flee AND bath herself at the same time. "GAAAAAAAAAh! I-I STILL SMELL IT! I-I STILL SMELL WHATEVER THE H*LL THE OGRE ATE! YESTERDAY, TODAY, THE DAY BEFORE, ALL OTHER DAYS!! GYAAAAAAAAAAGH! TH-THIS IS WORSE THAN BEINGSHOTBY A DIRE SKUUUUUUUNK!" The Half-Elf would stumbled and fellinto the flowing waters, as if she was running away from the rage of a river. She would breach the surface like the hump of a Killer Whale, only to pick herself up to keep on running. Drenched from head to toe, she watched as those holy waves slapped into buildings and drown out the Undead that she would run by. Most of them were interrupted in their city-wide search to see the commotion, maybe even lounging around on the front porches to take a break from running around. They instantly disintegrated, the second the holy water flood covered their bodies. Any unlucky vampires that were caught in it, screamed... for0.01 seconds and then not a sound could be heard from them ever again...... sh*t. The only one riding those waves, was just the Half-Elf. It''s obvious she didn''t have the ''Undead'' status on her character sheet, or else she would have suffered the same fate. "SH*T! SH*T! I-I can''t believe I wasted that Holy Weapon on these mob monsters! I-it was supposed to be for the final boss fight! GAAAAH! WH-WHAT WAS I THINKING IN THAT LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIOOOOOON!?" Before leaving the Capital City, she had connections with a certain Royal Constable, who also had connections to 59 ''little sisters'' who served the church. As a favor, the Half-Elf was able to obtain some powerful blessed armaments and equipment before she entered the Undead Wasteland. Normally, a seasoned Adventurer would always save these expensive and super-powered weapons as a last resort - or whenever they reach the boss fight and spam the h*ll out of these ridiculously high-level items... But Pastrache f**ked up, and used one Holy Water Grenade the moment she reached the Demon King''s1st of 50 floors. ...In her defence, it was either use her trump card now - or take a bath in the Undead Ogre''s stomach acid. *Shudder shudder* "Ptoo! S-since everyone''s distracted, I-I have to find Nello and fast! Wi-with this mess, the undead will surely gather like moths to a--FLAAAAAAAAAAAME!" A series of of black fire came flying at her. Luckily for her high dexterity score, she threw her back in a full 90 degree dip and let the flaming black bolts zip over her. As if she playing a game of Mambo. Hearing the whistling of cursed flame soar over her body, she straightened herself to see what was happening. Liches. Ghouls. Mummies. They could be seen standing on the rooftop of the desolate buildings, avoiding the Holy Water on the ground. Although the water level itself was no longer that deep, no more than ankle height for the Half-Elf, none of them were taking any chances. They each either had crisscossing belts and bandoliers, or even rusted silver badges in the shape of an upside down star. Sheriffs and Deputies of this Undead Town, the Adventurer concluded. While the Lich Marshalls had prepared spheres of cursed black flame in their ghostly hands, the others were readying their long range crossbows. One shot, from all angles, and Pastrache would surely be skewered alive. "...F**k it." Being the stupid one - she reached for another Holy Weapon. "EAT THIS! STAFF OF SHOOTING STARS!" Pastrache pulled out an item from her inventory space. It was the shape of a candlestick holder, with exotic engravings that could only be found in churches or cathedreals. The tip looked like it was covered in a fine piece of fabric, and there was a string on the bottom. The second the Half-Elf yanked on the cord - a series of miniaturized sparkling comets blew open the fabric and scattered across the sky. Essentially a big@ss Roman Candle. "S-SAY HELLO, TO MY HOLY FRIEND!" *PEW!* *FIUUUUU!* *POW-POW!* *BANG!* *FIUUUUUUUUUUU!*
<< You dealt -2500 Fire Radiant Damage to Lich Marshals. >>
<< You dealt -1500 Fire Radiant Damage to Ghouls. They have Fire Resistance. >>
<< You dealt -9001 Fire Radiant Damage to Mummies. They are Weak to Fire. >>
<< All enemies are now Prone and on Fire. You have Advantage >>
<< You gained 15,500 XP. Congratulations You Leveled up to Lv 19!! >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Pyromaniac~ You demolished a Party of Enemy with big @ss fireworks. You are now Enemy Number One with Firefighters. -----
The sky was covered in violent fireworks.The brilliant sparks either blinded the Liches or melted away the Mummies on the rooftop. Everything was soon showered in purifying pyrotechnics as well as set ablaze. A garden of holy flames. "...HOLY SH*T THIS THING IS POTENT!" Pastrache stared at awe of theweapon in herhand. The tip of the holy rod was burnt out, releasing a thick waft of smoke, like any big@ss roman candle would do. There was only one charge available, so holding it in her hands right now was useless. At most she could only use it as a club now. "... Hu-hu....Huaa-huaa.. Heh-heh..." Even so, she had this evil smile on her face.
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< You equipped Staff of Shooting Stars >>
<< ERROR! Both hands full. Unable to equip any more weapons. >>
<< ERROR! Both hands full. Unable to equip any more weapons. >>
<< ERROR! Both hands full. Unable to equip any more weapons. >>
<< Please stop equipping more weapons you d*mn idiot! >>
"GYAAAAA-HAA-HAAA! GET WRECKED SUCKEEEEEERS!" Pastrache had changed. She turned from a sweet little girl into a full blown monster. How so? Because she held aloft six Holy Staff of Shooting Stars, each one between her fingers. From up close, she looked like a dangerous f**k with six golden sticks about to mess sh*t up. From afar, she looked like a dangerous f**k with six golden dragon claws that was GOING to mess sh*t up... Oh cr*p. "YOU DEAD BEATS WANT TO ROCK!? - THEN LET''S PARTYYYYYYYYYYY!" On that day...a new evil was born. *PEW!* *PEW!* *BANG!* *POP-POP-POP!* *BTOOM!* *PANG!* *POP* *POP* *FIUUUUUUUUUUU!*
[VOL.3] (13th_Lock) - Do you Choose Hatred? Or Love? Decide, Dhampir! :: January 10, 1943. Commander¡¯s Log. :: (Translated from Russian) It is 9:02 PM. Our tank unit is under the command of General Rokossovsky. We are supporting the 66th Army attacking towards the North and the 64th Army coming in from the east. The T-34 has suffered significant damage, but despite having a hole ripped through its chest, its engine core leaking fuel, and its tracks about to cave in - it''s a god-d*mn miracle we were able to arrive at an allied repair station for total refit... I don''t know if this is relevant but I''ve noticed something odd about our vehicle. It would suddenly stop and reverse against our wishes, only to miss a German Panzershreck round. Sometimes, it would turn its turret at random and blow up a German Anti-Tank Half-track about a mile away, we completely missed it... I don''t know if it''s from combat fatigue, the lack of proper rations or food... but I am starting to believe our T-34 Tank has a mind of its on. "Sugar. Would you be a darling and keep your body steady?" "I-IT''S IMPOSSIBLE! TH-THERE''S TOO MANY SCARY PEOPLE CHASING AFTER US!" Nello didn''t want to cause trouble. No matter how big or scary he looked as a tank built for high-calibre warfare - he didn''t have the heart to so much yell at dogs that pee on his head. That wasn''t his kind of character.Alas, when you are deep behind enemy territories, especially in a land of the walking dead - you had to be a mean b@stard to survive... So please work hard, Nello. "TH-THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR MY BRAAAAAAAIN!" The T-34 Tank ran his tracks at full speed. He didn''t stop for anyone, not even the nice looking Zombie Hunters and Skeleton riflemen that he ''accidentally'' bumped into. Squish. Splatter. Crush. Crack. Pop. Imagine what you will. The poor tank was so scared of all this strange horror fantasy scene, he forgot how to hit his own brakes. Or turn - for example, he smashed through an entire saloon and didn''t stop. "SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" "... Ptoo... Sugar. I would be ever thankful if you at least kept yourself going in a straight line. At least, I can see where I''m shooting without feeling I have double vision. I''m only 90." Lying prone across the top of the Russian Tank, was a certain ''young'' Dhampir. Amy Oakley. She was lying flat on her stomach across the top of the turret head. She didn''t care if her skirt was flapping in the wind as she was prone in the opposite direction, neither was she worried if her elaborate hat would be blown off. She only focused her eyes, down the line of her rifle barrel, an advanced looking lever-action musket that looked like our world 1866. Her pupil on the iron sight. Other than the thousand of Undead running and hobbling after her and the tank, there was only really one person she had in mind to eat the bullet. "Bang?" *BOOM!* - *BTAAANG!* "... That still counts as a hit!" "That rat @ss whore...Ptoo!" Mad-Eye Jack. A certain Vampire Cowboy who first appeared to launch a raid on a Lycan Tribe many chapters ago. Many people thought he was dead. Honestly, if taking an artillery shell from a T-34 Tank to the gut wouldn''t emolate him in fire - being thrown into the atmosphere in clear view of the sun should. However, he survived. Cannot say unscathed. Half of his body covered in enchanted red crystals stood as testament to the torment he had endured just to stay alive... That, or he wanted to show off. "I don''t know who is talking spat behind my back - But I''m going to gut this dirt-blooded traitor - EVEN IF IT''S THE LAST THING THIS VAMPIRE WILL DO!" The Crystal Hybrid bolted. Literally. Instead of using one leg and one crystal stilt to run down the road, he relied on that glass leg to spring himself 10 meter after another. To better picture his movement, it was like jumped over a 10 meter long pool in one bound. Fast, nimble, accurate. The edged point of his leg was sharp enough to cut through the city''s compacted dirt (hard as rock). Despite his enhanced speed, he wasn''t getting any closer. "Sh*t! J-just how fast can a hunk of rolling metal be!? I-it''s practically making me eat its dust - cough! Hack!" *BANG!* *BTAAAAAANG!* "STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH ME, YOU DHAMPHIR B*TCH!" "Honestly, can''t a boy take a hint when a lady says no?" Amy Oakley pulled on the lever of her special musket, ejecting a shell cartidge. Taking this chance, she quickly reloaded another 15 rounds into her weapon''s chamber. Either she found the technique calming, or she was bored, but she decided to have a small chat with the Tank. "Hey, it''s Nello right? Can you do me a favor and stop wiggling around so much? You''re going to wake little Clementine. She''s still inside of your belly, remember?" "I''m trying! I''m really trying my best! B-but I don''t know where to go! Th-this city is two, no, 10 times bigger than Stalingrad! And all the buildings are too tall for me to see! I-I don''t know if a scary looking German Tiger tank would roll out and bully me like before! I-I don''t want to be punched in the face by their cannon again!" "I don''t know what you''re talking about, but I highly doubt dire lions, tigers, and bears have anything on Mad-Eye... In fact, he will bite them, enthrall them, and send them after me... I wonder if he has a fetish to make animals do stuff to girls like me. Hmm." "................................................" Nello didn''t answer. Normally a hero from our world would have just given the Dhampir woman a (O§ÕO) kind of expression to express how f**ked up his emotions were. But since Nello was a tank, and was only 5 days old before being transmigrated, that wasn''t the case as to why he fell silent. "... Sugar? What''s wrong? You can keep talking to me. Nothing you say can make me blush." "................................." "... Come now, Sugar. Don''t leave a girl hanging by herself. it''s lonely, even in a firefight like--" "M...Miss Oakley." "Hmm??" "Th...there''s a Mosquito on my nose." "...Say what?" *SHING!* *BLEESSSSH!* "...G...Gaahkkk!" Amy Oakley doubled over. Her smile fell hard, and her neck was about to fall off her shoulder. Whatever realization she experienced seem to have struck her brain too hard. That, or her bossom was shoved with what looked like an arm made of pointed glass that doubled as a sword. She threw up blood, and didn''t bother to look up who attacked her. "... You...sneaky b@stard." "I hate to say this, but we grew up right next to each other... Even if you always kept dragging me around to play f**king tea parties, you should know by now - I don''t play fair." Amy Oakley vomitted. Whatever came out of her mouth was not red, but a deep inky blue. It fell and stained itself across the top of the turret head, turning into the color of crude oil across the armor. She grabbed onto the crystal lance, but it only shoved itself into her chestdeeper Mad-Eye Jack scowled, and kept his balanced across the Russian Tank''s cannon and platform. By the time the Dhamphir was about to ask how, she saw it. A scroll in the man''s hand, now burnt and turning to ashes. She was no expert, but she could tell by the style of the formula and the major texts on it... it was some sort of Scroll of Teleportation, a short range warp magic. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. She couldn''t resist turning her head over her shoulder. Another Mad-Eye Jack still bolting after them with his glass leg as a spring. But maybe the scroll was related, because the moment it turned into ashes, the ''pursuing'' Mad-Eye Jack evaporated... like a mirage. An illusory decoy. "If you had Blood magic like a true Vampire, such a petty parlour trick wouldn''t have caught you off guard." "Geuuufffhh!" When Mad-Eye Jack (real) pushed his blade deeper, it pierced through the Dhampir''s back. The girl just coughed and gagged, and kicked the rifle she had dropped on top of Nello''s head. With a flick, a spin, and a touch, she was about to put a finger on the trigger, the muzzle leaning into Mad-Eye''s heart. *BTAAAAANG!* "....... That itched you know." "Aaaagh! Cough! Hack!" The shot missed. It didn''t hit flesh, instead it struck Mad-Eye Jack in the face, over the crystal portion of his skull. It didn''t kill him, neither did it hurt him... but somehow it was enough to make him lose some balance on a moving tank, and he teetered back. Removing his crystal lance arm from Amy Oakley''s chest. "<< A-Auto Regenerations >>"
<< Passive Skill activated. Your Wounds will heal 10 HP / second. >>
<< Your total Health Points are now 98 /110..... 99 / 110.... 100 / 110. >>
"Tch. To think Half-Bloods like you can still use that ability." It is well known that Vampires, are impossible to kill. Why is that? One, they live forever - so long as they feed on the blood of others. Two, bullets, swords, or even a battering ram can''t kill these blood suckers. At most, a stake to the heart, a slap of the holy cross, or dumping them with Holy Water would work. But these weapons, these opportunities, were only as convenient as a complete amateur trying to purchase and control a .50 Calibre Military Grade sniper rifle. Even if you did bribe someone to get it without a license, the recoil would just shatter your unprepared collarbone. An effective power, but not as available or ready to use. Yes, this was a Fantasy World - but you know how ridiculously expensive Holy Water Grenades are, especially if you are a Level 1 Noob with a starting gold of 100 Gold. Not to mention, Vampire Auto-Regeneration Ability is a b*tch if you encounter them in a fight.Somehow, Amy Oakley was able to use her innate ability to her advantage. "Tch. It''s not the pure form of Blood Magic, but it still works. D*mn, I hate this situation." "Ptoo. Honestly, Jacky. If you want my heart, all you had to do was give me flowers." Amy Oakley picked herself up from her knee, clutching the hole in her ch...hole in her......in her... Hold up, where did it go? Once she rose to her feet, whatever wound that impaled her was slowly stitching itself to a close. it wasn''t as fast as the regeneration speed of Mad-Eye Jack, but it was enough to repair and fill in the missing bones and flesh that was torn through her body. About 5 minutes, the injury was topped off with a new layer of skin on. Still, the clothing was regular clothing so it left a peculiar hole over her chest. It wasn''t a time to worry about that, she thought while biting her lip. "... Oakley. Give us the dog." "She''s not a dog. Her name is Clementine." "Does it look like I give a f**k how you call a mutt? The Lycan Tribe has to be shown who is the true beast of the world! We Vamps won''t back down from any challenge." "Please wake up! The war between us and them are 1000 years in the past. Even our Elders are just lounging around doing nothing but picking up young girls to feed blood from... Why are you so h*llbent in causing trouble?" "The War was never finished. It left us with an unsatisfying conclusion...I can''t accept such a sh*ttyending." "You can go into deep villain background story mode all you want, your desire is still too shallow." "Can you say the same - after watching those same furballs burn down our home, when we were only kids!" ".................................................................." "... Tch. Now do you remember why we started the new Vampire Gang... It''s because we''re sick and tired of the Elders being hands off on the other lesser Fanged Clans... they didn''t even bat a f**king eye when the Lycans raided out home90 years ago!" "................................................................." "So tell me, Dhamphir!? What would you like to do with that 90 years worth of rage and guilt huh?" "..................................................I''m still angry about that day, Jack." Amy Oakley staggered. Although she was able to recover her wounds, she still had limits. A Dhamphir was half Vampire, half human. It would make sense her human side required blood to survive. Although she can lose more than the average person... That doesn''t mean she can recover her platlets or plasma as fast. A transfusion would be great... but who the h*ll has time to do that while standing on a moving tank while facing a villain. Despite her limits and her failings, she gritted her teeth. "When I first saw Clementine, I was filled with hate too... I worked hard to become a true Vampire, like all of you....... but..." With a scowl... a growl... a slow murmur... to a sigh... she touched her cheek. And something soft doused her rage. "The moment Clementine hugged me... kissed me... and ask me to sing her a lullaby so she could go to sleep... I.. I suddenly gave up on that hatred.At that moment,Irealized... all I ever wanted was just to be a normal girl... and be happy..." "..................The f**k did you just say?" "Psst, Psst. I need your help!" "I SAID WHAT THE F**K DID YOU JUST SAAAY!" "...3..." "... I didn''t say anything... Except... I don''t want to hate anymore....... 90 years... hurts too much... I... just want to leave this h*llhole, find a place where I can hang my hat andrest my rifle... and enjoy my days raising Clementine to be a beautiful woman on a small ranch, with real LIVING horses with beautiful manes... That''s my new dream now." "...2..." A gun was drawn. It was a matchlock. It only had one bullet in the chamber. A one shot weapon, not easy to reload. Mad-Eye Jack didn''t care. With point-blank range, one bullet was enough to open a hole in the Dhampir''s forehead. He knew, as a fellow Vampire, that being slapped by a cross, dumped with holy water, or shanked with a stake in the heart doesn''t kill him - cutting off the head, or even destroying the Medulla Oblongata - was more than enough to finish it. "... Go to--" "...1...ALL ENGINE, FULL STOP!" "Hmm??--GUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!?" "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
<< ACCESSING T-34 DRIVING ''CAM''............... COMPL--OH SH*T! (Oxo) >>
Their platform came to an abrupt halt. All the inertia they had adjusted to while riding on a moving ground suddenlycaught up to them. Like the moment where people sit in a car, and some dumb f**ker slams the brakes as some kind of prank. If you don''t get a Whiplash from the Seatbelts - you get ejected manually from your non-ejectable seats. That was what Mad-Eye Jack and Amy Oakley were doing right now. They were kicked off their feet and sent tumbling in the air. This was enough to do some serious damage to their bodies.......... Thankfully. "Bafuu!" "C-CLEMENTINE!?" A certain Lycan Princess grabbed onto the Dhampir''s ankles, anchoring her from flying away. So when the T-34 Tank slammed his brakes - only Mad-Eye Jack was ejected. "... You sneaky little f**--" To add salt to injury - the Russian Tank spun his head around, to BAT the BAT with a HOMERUN. *SLAM!* *FIUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*-----*CRAAAAAAAAAAASH!*
<< You used BRAKE CATAPULT. Enemy hits a Wall. Dealt -200,000 Force and Bludgeoning Damage. >>
<< Vampire Lv. 55 is unconscious. His body is now Prone. You have Advantage over him. >>
<< Vampire LV. 55 is slowed. His Running Speed is now Zero. >>
<< You gained 50,000 EXP for a creating a New Attack Maneuver!! >>
<< Congratulations! Youare now Level53! You gained 1000 Character Points! >>
----- << __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >> ~Watch Out for That Building~ You Successfully Launched an Enemy at more than 100 km/h and dealt excessive damage! You are F**king Incredible Man! -----
"..................................................................Aauughh..." Hole in one... the Vampire Villain was buried into the wall of a building... completely knocked the f**k out. "...S...Sugar?" "S-sorry, Miss Oakley. C-can you pull your hair away from my nose? I-it itches." Amy Oakley blinked, upside down. She didn''t know how, but she was held dangling by the ankles and lying over what was possible the tank''s face. With her long hair draped over the cannon, the 3 meter gun fidgeted as if her silky hair really did cause discomfort. It also made sounds that it was going to sneeze... but held it down. Good boy. "...What... did you do?" "... I just stopped with my brakes." "That''s it?" "Yes." "N-no 10th Level Telekinesis spell?" "What''s a Telephone?" "......................................What did I just say?" "... I don''t know." Nello ''stared'' at the upside down Amy Oakley while she was glued to his ''face''. With some help with his machine gun and his cannon, he was able to assist the Dhamphir back to her knees to sit on his turret head. Along the way, a certain little Werewolf Puppy was diving her face into the woman''s bossom, craddling her. "Bafuuuu! Baf!" "..... G...good girl... Clementine... I... I love you!" Finally feeling the sensation of life and death in her cold veins, the Dhamphir broke down and held the Werewolf Girl into her arms. She was crying, the only thing warm that came from her chilly body. Not that Lily Tiger minded, not one bit... her ''Cutest Mama in the Wild Wild West'' still smelled of sweet Cinnamon. "Bafu! Baff! Bafuuuu! *Snuggle Snuggle*" "Now, now Clementine. Don''t think that saving me would let you get a chance to have milk, not right now." "..... Um... Miss Oakley. Wh-which way do I go now? I''m confused.. and lost." "In a minute sugar, let me cuddle my Clementine a bit more. You are so cute and fluffy! Yes you are!" "..................................... Oh... Okay." About 30 minutes later, they were on the move... Yes, this narrator said 30 minutes later. No, it''s not a typo.