《Venture》 Chapter 1 Getting your face flushed in the dirty Central High¡¯s toilets is not an ¡°A+¡± high school debut. My buddy, Timothy, swears facial flushing is the worst way to go. After witnessing it myself, I don¡¯t disagree. It was the beginning of our sophomore year, and the ¡°Craig torture time¡± had begun. ¡°Poopnose¡± and ¡°Pukesmear¡± (eloquently named by Craig) were still laying on the floor defeated. Craig paced around the stalls with a swagger similar to a comically terrible super-villain. Menacing as he was, I couldn¡¯t help feeling sorry for the newly tormented freshmen. They didn¡¯t deserve this. Unfortunately they forgot one thing. No one messes with Craig. That¡¯s rule number one. ¡°Guys, I think Poopnose needs a lesson in hygiene.¡± Craig chuckled. He wasn¡¯t becoming a comedian anytime soon, but he didn¡¯t need to be at six foot five. He had girls and a promising basketball career. I didn¡¯t have the height or the girls, but things could be worse. In fact, I might have been on the chopping block if I hadn¡¯t grown up with Craig as a neighbor. We parted ways in middle school and I hadn¡¯t seen him since. Apparently, he¡¯d changed. According to the rumor mill, his father had left him, and puberty had hit him. A wombo combo in developing meanness. ¡°Ahah aaaah no please no-n-n-no more. Bllgh blllgggh blllllgggghh. Aaaah ah stop it. Stop it! Bllgh blllgggh¡­¡± I could never get used to the bullying. It made my paranoia and guilt flare up. Someone was bound to call the cops at some point. Sticking with Craig was a ticking timebomb, but if I left, I¡¯d be one of the victims. Craig demanded loyalty in his posse. I mean ¡°Pukesmear¡± used to eat with us, but then he talked to the wrong girl. It was madness. There was no reason to dwell on it now. I still had homework to work on, and a life to live. Perhaps I could stop by Dairy Queen after school. They had a newly flavored Blizzard, and I loved chocolatey ice cream. I wondered if Timothy would be down. I knew Carlos would be down. I¡¯ll text them later and finish my homework before I go. It¡¯d be a nice way to unstress and forget about everything. I heard we¡¯d get hail on the weekend which is shocking because it¡¯s still August. The last time it hailed my mom¡¯s car dented pretty badly, but school was canceled for the day. In my mind, it was a good trade. My mom didn¡¯t, but I guess we have different priorities. Anyways, I played that new game. It was one of those auto chess games. You moved little heroes around a hexagonal board. It was fun. I played twelve hours straight. Carlos said those are rookie numbers, but I thought it was an achievement. Speaking of games, my older brother was pretty good at them. He was one of the best when it came to chess. Coming second in a national tournament was a big deal, and they celebrated for days. My parents thought it was great. I didn¡¯t. It was one more thing they hung over me since Jim also had perfect grades and was involved in student government. I just couldn¡¯t get a break from my parents, but what could you do when your parents were a bunch of perfectionists. Dad started a tech company and Mom graduated from M.I.T. They expected the same level of achievement, and I wasn¡¯t going to deliver it. I did get As in english and history but physics? My C- wasn¡¯t going to lead to fun times when Dad found out. Our test was next Thursday. The teacher, Mrs. Bern, was a stickler who enjoyed pop quizzes. So much so, we had a pop quiz every class. Oh a quiz? What a surprise since the last five days of class were quiz filled. I worried there¡¯d be no break in the coming months. I really just wanted to go home, but here I was waiting for Craig to finish his violent tendencies. Craig had taken it overboard. ¡°Poopnose¡± had feces on his clothes, and had tears running down his face. The other one¡¯s face was bleeding pretty badly. Did bullies like this really exist? I was going to hell no doubt about that. Possibly prison time too. Maybe I could sneak out unnoticed? I edged out towards the bathroom door. Craig and his cronies were still focused on being bullies. I slowly reached for the handle being careful not to make any untimely noise. No creaking. That¡¯s a good door. I pulled on the door until I had about a foot''s length open. I bent my knees tiptoeing once and then once again. Woo, I was out. But getting out wasn¡¯t enough. Boom. That was the door. Uh oh. I turned around. The door had swung wide open, and Craig loomed over me. ¡°Where are you going Kevin?¡± Craig sneered. ¡°Me? Just needed some fresh air.¡± ¡°Oh¡± ¡°Oh¡± A few moments of silence passed. Way to make it awkward dumbass. ¡°I heard they have this new deal at Dairy Queen. Want to go uh after this?¡± I invited him. It was the only thing I could think of in the moment. ¡°Yeah I¡¯d like that squirt. It¡¯s sweet of you to buy me ice cream.¡± At the very least, he wasn¡¯t going to grind me into the cement. We walked out leaving the freshmen behind. Hopefully they¡¯d stay quiet. I was probably boned either way. I dialed up Carlos and Tim letting them know to meet me at DQ.
Thirty minutes later I had arrived ready to eat ice cream. ¡°Thanks Mom¡± I yelled getting out the family Chevrolet suburban. The Dairy Queen was rather empty with only a few people eating or waiting for food. It was a Monday after all. A few minutes later Carlos and Timothy showed up. ¡°Yo, what¡¯s up Kevin.¡± ¡°Not much Carlos. I¡¯m about to sugar up and power up.¡± ¡°More like get fat¡± Tim chimed in. We waited a few minutes for Craig to show up. He arrived girlfriend in hand. I waved at him. He waved back. His girlfriend didn¡¯t. Maybe she took after Craig. I ordered a super chocolatey blizzard. I had hummed and hawed over trying something new, but I loved chocolate too much. Good things came in Cacao. Dairy and sugar were just bonuses. I was going to have a good time Craig or not. Although, I¡¯m confident that¡¯s not how the idiom goes, and idioms aren¡¯t always true. At least in this case it wasn¡¯t. I looked over to find Craig banging his fists on a table screaming at a short man. He was dwarfism short. His greyed hair was messy and his face bearded. He was yelling in a strong Irish accent. I didn¡¯t know why a foreigner would want to visit a smallish town in Connecticut. Why was Craig yelling at the midget? This was going to turn into a mess too. I dug into my ice cream while thinking about how I was going to calm Craig down. He was really getting worked up. The others were already sat down watching the spectacle. Bullying was one thing but assaulting someone in public almost guaranteed Craig going to prison. The argument escalated when Craig grabbed the man lifting him into the air. Voosh. Craig threw the guy at the window so hard it broke through the glass. Surprisingly the little guy pulled himself up unharmed. With all that broken glass around, I had expected the man to be bleeding all over. The Irish man grumbled under his breath. He looked mad. I figured I¡¯d be pretty mad at being thrown through a window. Zipping across the building, he started beating away at Craig. Whack. Whack. Craig was taking a beating. Occasionally Craig was able to throw a hook or two. They were really going at it. There were no fancy moves, no dodging, and no Hollywood movie choreography. It was punched and get punched. I had always figured height was pretty important in a fight. You know more reach or whatever, but they seemed reasonably even. Not that I was some fighting expert however. As the fight continued, they sped up until each one¡¯s punches were blurs. The force punched holes in tables, walls, and floors. My day only got weirder when Craig suddenly transformed. People don¡¯t transform. At least I didn¡¯t think people transformed. You could never really be certain. Maybe I just wasn¡¯t as self-aware as I thought I was. I used to have nightmares about finding out I was deluded or in some way special. The kind of special where you were born with some genetic disorder. Not the superpower kind. I¡¯d like the superpower kind. Man. Craig¡¯s got everything. Girls, Height, and now superpowers. At this point, you might think shorty short was about to receive the hurt. Others might believe in the little hero¡¯s plot armor. Either way you were wrong. Because a newcomer arrived. Did I mention the newcomer was a sexy angel? The newcomer was a sexy angel with white wings and a freaking halo. Hot Damn. She had flowing blonde hair. Her eyes shimmered a pleasant sky blue, and she was wearing quite the outfit. I guess angels weren¡¯t prudes, but I am getting ahead of myself.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. I got distracted, I guess. What? You try not staring at a sexy flying angel. Anyway, you¡¯re probably wondering what Craig turned into. It was some sort of werewolf or Chupacabra deal. Big fangs, big claws, and big red glowing eyes. Nasty stuff. Craig really didn¡¯t matter anymore because Craig was missing a head. Mrs. Angel lady hadn¡¯t flown in unarmed. She carried a large scythe. It was grey in color and seemed sharp. With one swing Craig was in prime mantelpiece shape. I had never seen someone decapitated before. It was a new experience. Writers and filmmakers often make witnessing murders as a very traumatic experience. A real moral dilemma. It sort of just happened. Sorry, Craig? I looked around. Both Carlos and Timothy looked as dumbfounded as I was. I think Craig¡¯s girlfriend was having a panic attack, and the two Dairy Queen employees were staring from behind the counter. ¡°Hey, uh what¡¯s popping, and uh how is God doing?¡± Not my most eloquent moment. At least I hadn¡¯t said some dumb ¡°Have I died and gone to Heaven?¡± pickup line. ¡°Oh, are we dead? Are we going to the afterlife?¡± Timothy added. You could never really be too sure. ¡°Welp. Guess we have bystanders Aivocindo. Can¡¯t have the wildlife knowing we are here. Protocol 43.¡± She then pointed towards the dwarf. Aivocindo walked up to us, and he said sorry while cracking his knuckles. I really wasn¡¯t looking forward to getting murdered by the whimsical creature. Luckily Carlos could resist getting murdered first. ¡°I¡¯ve never met a leprechaun before. Are all leprechauns named after green things Mr. Avocado?¡± Boom. The leprechaun hit him, and Carlos flew across the room like a ragdoll. The angel was busy laughing much to Aivocindo¡¯s displeasure. Frankly, I didn¡¯t find it funny. Well, not that funny. ¡°Here is the immigration paper work. It may be long, but we have to get it done before you can immigrate from earth. We can¡¯t have you stay here because you witnessed us fight off a wereasite.¡± Aivocindo handed each of us witnesses a twenty-page stack of paper. They picked Carlos off the floor, and the angel healed the goofy dumbass. I looked over to Timothy backing away from the looming document. He had never been fond of paperwork. I should probably confirm that they mean no harm. ¡°You¡¯re not going to end us? Mr. Aivocindo and uh ¡° ¡°Just call me Sammie¡± ¡°Sammie.¡± ¡°No. no one¡¯s going to kill you. Legally speaking we can¡¯t since Earth is a Sanctuary.¡± ¡°I uh neat? Yeah, that¡¯s pretty neat. What if we want to stay living on Earth?¡± ¡°We¡¯d have to take you to with us and then kill you, so really your only real option is to legally immigrate to Praedum. Don¡¯t worry its plenty similar to Earth.¡± So that was the loophole. She continued, ¡°If you do come with us, we¡¯ll treat you well. We don¡¯t usually get to bring outsiders with us into the Pteili Enclave. New talent is always welcome, but you are free to do as you please once we return to Praedum. We aren¡¯t bandits after all. I think you humans would call us a guild.¡± ¡°Can I take some time to gather my things?¡± Who knows what might be valuable in a different world? ¡°I¡¯ll give you twelve hours. That goes for everyone, but I¡¯ll have to kill if you reveal anything. Pteili rules and yada yada.¡± I filled the paper as my friends, Craig¡¯s girlfriend, and the Dairy Queen employees asked their questions. Only Craig¡¯s girlfriend seemed terribly stricken. Makes sense since her boyfriend died and she probably had a good thing going on here. On earth that is. That would be weird if she had a good thing going on at Dairy Queen. I¡¯ll add that to the growing list of conspiracies to keep track of. I couldn¡¯t help but think of what to bring. Well obviously, I was going to bring my phone and laptop. How was I going charge them though? I mean there might be options in Praedum, but maybe not. I couldn¡¯t buy much either. I didn¡¯t work a job and had spent most of my money on games and books. How much do solar powered chargers cost? Walmart¡¯s probably my best bet. Clothes? Check. My pocket knife? Check. Toiletries? Check.
By the time had arrived, I was lugging three suitcases of clothes and essentials. I did however rob my brother of his bb gun and hatchet. In my defense, it was already practically mine and he wasn¡¯t the one galivanting into another world. Guess you lose in the end, Jim. Hahaha. Still sucks that I won¡¯t be able to see my family again. Although, I plan on coming back once I have the means. It shouldn¡¯t be that hard if an angel and leprechaun were chilling in a DQ. If they had shown up at a fancy eleven course meal, I¡¯d suspect it wasn¡¯t within my means. The others were all packed up with whatever they could manage. I saw sleeping bags, candy, and all sorts of goods. I already knew what Carlos would pack other than a few pairs of clothes. I walked over to unzip one of his bags. With a quick hand Carlos tried to catch my arm, but I was too quick. His grey duffel bag held as much sour candy as Carlos could pack. Warheads, skittles, and sour patch kids were only a few of the brands I saw. I called Timothy over to look. He only tsk-tsked in disappointment, while I was busy laughing. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised however if his sour candy was worth a lot. Unfortunately, I knew Carlos. He wouldn¡¯t sell any of his precious candy. I think he would rather lose an arm than give up his ability to eat sour candies. Aivocindo called us all over. ¡°I don¡¯t like big explanations so read these.¡± He tossed each of us a pamphlet. It read a lot like a travel voucher for Praedum. Whoa. Apparently, there were monsters and all sorts of crazy species. One of the pictures showed a man with a fly¡¯s head. ¡°Look at this.¡± Carlos said showing me a pair of magical trousers, ¡°They apparently remove a person¡¯s need to poop.¡± ¡°Carlos, I don¡¯t care about such a dumb magical item. You should check out the set of dentures on page four. They give you perfect pitch.¡± ¡°They do, but I recall having a full set of teeth. How would I use them anyway?¡± ¡°With all that candy your eating you won¡¯t have many teeth for long. Think about how good you¡¯d become as a perfect pitching musician.¡± ¡°First, I have perfectly healthy teeth. It¡¯s called brushing them twice a day, and do you really think the ability to distinguish A major and E minor is more important than no diarrhea?¡± ¡°Fine. You win¡± I turned over to Timothy who was engrossed in the brochure. He was reading about dungeons and how adventuring worked. ¡°What¡¯s up with that¡±, I said. He looked up and replied,¡± loot.¡± Not a very helpful reply Tim. I flipped my brochure to the adventuring portion. Guilds allowed members to share maps, and information on monsters. Adventurers adventured. They would kill stuff and explore the numerous ruins of Praedum. The monsters you killed determined your rank in the guilds, and each guild had their own standards. You could also opt to adventure solo or join some country¡¯s army. The ruins and monsters held valuable items and rare materials. There were even some instances of people being granted wishes if they delved deep enough. ¡°Time¡¯s up¡± Aivocindo called after fifteen minutes. He walked over with a bag of crystals handed everyone one. ¡°These are analytic crystals. They are vital in determining one¡¯s abilities, attributes, and kills. All you have to do to activate it is by rubbing a little bit of spit on the crystal. Give it a go.¡±
Name: Kevin Lamprey Guild: N/A
Race: Human Rank: N/A
Stats:
Str: 8 Con: 10
Dex: 6 Int: 9
Items:
Kills:
¡°As Praedum can be a dangerous place, our guild is giving each of you a random item from our vault. Please take turns rolling for loot. You can either roll for a random, an offensive item, or a defensive item. Please use your analytic crystal interface.
Roll for loot? random offensive defensive
¡°I would like random please¡±, I yelled. I knew I shouldn¡¯t have gambled but couldn''t resist the lure of getting something obscure. I still secretly wanted those dentures. I would then be able to travel as a bard picking up all sorts of fans. If I got poopy pants however, I would be miffed. I still didn¡¯t agree with Tim on that front.
Congratulations! You''ve aquired [nervous soapy golem]! "A small stone golem which excretes soapy water. This golem is naturally nervous"
Name: Kevin Lamprey Guild: N/A
Race: Human Rank: N/A
Stats:
Str: 8 Con: 10
Dex: 6 Int: 9
Items: [nervous soapy golem]
Kills:
''This is so cool'', I thought looking upon my new item. The golem was small about a foot''s length in height. He had stubby arms made out of smoothly polished marble and wobbled a little when he walked. Once he caught sight of the other people he hid behind my leg. I picked him up and walked over to my friends. Tim had a big spear in his hands. When he swung the weapon it would yell ¡°swing¡± in a loud voice. Carlos had a book in his hands and was reading from it. According to Carlos, it would raise his intelligence as he solved the riddles in the book. And with the introduction out of the way, we carried our luggage into the summoning circle. Sammie the angel said the magic keywords. Right as the circle lit up, I could help but feel giddy. It was time to venture into the unknown. Chapter 2 ¡®Wet. Cold. Wet. Cold.¡¯ I thought walking across the rocky craggy ground. When Sammie had said guild, I had pictured a building in the middle of a hustling and bustling city. No one had warned me that the Pteili Enclave was a hermit¡¯s wet dream. We had teleported to some sort of big pillar. Aivocindo described the pillar as a ¡°beacon of arcane energy¡± when it just looked like a log someone had stuck upright. There was a path in the four cardinal directions, and they said we could either hike to town fifteen miles west of our start or walk the ten miles east to the enclave. Tim wanted to see the guild, so Carlos and I went with him. I was glad Sammie and Aivocindo were both headed back to the guild. Tim was the only person in our little group who had chosen a weapon. A rogue monster would tear us apart. A rogue human would also tear us apart. Needless to say, I didn¡¯t trust Craig¡¯s girlfriend, Melinda, and I was virtually a stranger to the DQ employees. One of the employees was wearing a glow in the dark breastplate, while another had gotten a teleporting dagger from the lottery system. I still didn¡¯t know what Melinda obtained. At least she had left for the town. I ruminated on my little golem¡¯s name, while I walked on. He would need one that would live up to his future deeds. In a year or two, he might slay a dragon. I wouldn¡¯t want him to be laughed at by the adventuring community. If it was up to Carlos, he¡¯d name it Soap, a terrible name. For example, ¡°Soap killed an ogre¡± could be interpreted the wrong way. Everyone already thought ogres were stinky. I¡¯m sure some ogres had good hygiene. He needed a real name, yet I had no ideas in mind. ¡°Tim give me a name.¡± I could just pass the work onto others. ¡°Clarke Kent¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s for my golem. Again.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Carlos, what should we name the golem?¡± ¡°Soap¡± Carlos responded. ¡°We are not naming him Soap. That¡¯s worse than naming your daughter Blue Ivy.¡± Tim ignored my demand saying ¡°Soap it is.¡± I tried naming my golem Kent, but the entire group had started calling it ¡°Soap¡±. Over the next few hours, they would play with Soap. They¡¯d have him toss pebbles or race Carlos. Poor Soap couldn¡¯t even win. We hit a fork in the road halfway to our destination. This milestone should have been unremarkable, but half a dozen bandits decided to accost us. They had Koi heads with scaled bodies. Most of them looked skinny with their humanoid bodies showing little muscle, and outlines of their bones. They demanded our food and any items we had on us. They seemed to be in poor shape when compared to even Tim. Being the fittest of the three of us wasn¡¯t a big accomplishment though. Carlos and I were sort of competitive at golf, but that was about it. With all the walking these Koi boys had to be doing, I¡¯d imagine they¡¯d be ripped. Unfortunately, it looked like starvation and a lack of calories was their undoing. If you¡¯ve ever owned a Koi, you¡¯d know they can eat just about anything. Of course they were no match for Aivocindo. Once the bandits had given up after being bruised, they were sat down. It was lunchtime by then, and I was getting hungry. The fishmen had left their pond homes because a four-armed bear had shown up with an appetite for fish. The dumb monster couldn¡¯t even distinguish the sentient fishmen from their dumber Koi cousins. ¡°We poked the bear with our spears, but they bounced off her hide. Our only magical item wielder was killed in combat¡± said Gerald, a fishman. Another interjected saying, ¡°His [glaive of buzz cutting] is now lost in her lair. It¡¯s been weeks since we¡¯ve left from the ponds, yet we¡¯re still lost in these desolate rock flats. It¡¯s been really boring counting rocks.¡± ¡°Our women and children are a day¡¯s journey behind. We¡¯re sorry for trying to rob you, but we decided we had no choice in the matter. Thanks for sharing lunch. ¡°Gerald said while munching on a ham and cheese sandwich. ¡°Could use some more mayonnaise though.¡± ¡°Ya, the ratio of bread and cheese is off. Twenty-five percent more cheese and we¡¯re in business¡± said Fishman, Quinn. These fishmen were really nonchalant after almost dying of starvation or by way of beating by Aivocindo. Kudos for not being traumatized, but they were flirting death by complaining about Aivocindo¡¯s rations. He had apparently taken the time to handcraft sandwiches for our journey. He¡¯d even painted little gold coins on the tops with butter. Sammie gave them directions to the town and to the Pteili Enclave. The angel also gave the fishmen food to take back to their families. I told them I¡¯d visit them once I figured out the whole adventuring shtick. We waved goodbye and continued on our way. My legs were feeling better after resting a while, and the food had given me some needed energy. Tim was busy swinging his spear. ¡°swing¡±, ¡°swing swing¡±, and ¡°swing stab swing¡± boomed across the flats. His spear¡¯s name happened to be [annoying spear of speaking]. I couldn¡¯t really argue otherwise. Both Sammie and Aivocindo seemed unfazed by the spear. How could they endure this? My eardrums ached from the continuous shouting. By midday, we had arrived at a large cylindrical tower. It was about the size of a large football stadium, but circular in shape. Its walls rose high above the ground and slits lined the outer stone at various heights. I figured the slits were akin to embrasures on castles. Arrows and other various projectiles would probably fire out of those holes. Solid stone formed a dome roof overhead, and the gated entrance must¡¯ve been ten yards tall. This better be the Pteili Enclave. I don¡¯t think I had it in me to assault an entire impenetrable fortress.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. Sammie grabbed her adventure¡¯s badge and held it out. With a groan, the heavy doors opened. Aivocindo walked in beckoning us Earthlings into the building. The first floor to this Pteili Enclave had tables, bulletin boards, and bar stools. Everything anyone would think of in a guild. Then there was a unique design decision. Someone had constructed a large wooden cow in the middle of the room. It started mooing as we walked past, and Aivocindo had pulled one of its wooden utters for a glass of iced milk. At least where I¡¯m from, iced milk is not a thing. Wouldn¡¯t it get super watery? Why couldn¡¯t the cow just chill the glass? ¡°This is Bam the Bartender, he serves us drinks and keeps the place lively," said Aivocindo pointing towards the Goatman bartender. ¡°How about a little something after a long day¡¯s hike. Any special requests. I can make anything so give me a try.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll have a Bloody Mary. I always loved having one after work. Happy hour was always a slog.¡± ¡°Dr. Pepper¡± ¡°I¡¯ll have one as well¡± ¡°me too¡± ¡°I¡¯ll stick to water¡± ¡°Are you sure? I can literally create any drink as long as it exists. See my shaker. It is magical. It¡¯s an [any drink shaker]. The shaker cost me a fortune to buy.¡± ¡°No, we¡¯re good, ¡°Tim replied after a few seconds of silence. With a sigh, Bam the Bartender shook up a Bloody Mary, three ¡°dp¡±s, and one water. Even in this world, people stuck with what they knew. After being sat down, Sammie had called over the guild receptionist. He was a male angel named Kafziel, but most people called him Caff. His wings had grey splotches as opposed to Sammie¡¯s white wings. I¡¯d later find out the splotches were considered signs of stress. Similar to some forms of balding. He held a notebook and asked us if we were looking to join the guild. Aivocindo replied, ¡°For now they¡¯re just going to tour the guild. These are the bystanders of our last interdimensional quest.¡± ¡°Right this way then,¡± Caff replied. We were directed upstairs into a large hallway. Doors lined the hallway with various names carved into the doors. ¡°Our guild rents rooms for a nominal upkeep fee. Luxury rooms cost four gold a month. That¡¯s roughly five hundred dollars American or four hundred British pounds. We do have free lodging for guild members.¡± He opened a door to reveal a minuscule room with a bed. ¡°There¡¯s a men¡¯s and women¡¯s bath down the corridor.¡± ¡°Hold up. How do you know about Earth¡¯s currencies? We live in a completely different dimension.¡± Timothy asked. Wow. Did the USD secretly span galaxies? ¡°It¡¯s one of my jobs as a guild receptionist. I¡¯ve got a [hivemind implant] to help me, but its still a chore. Don¡¯t listen to your parents when they say get a degree in guild management. It may pay very well, but it isn¡¯t worth the long hours and tremendous debt.¡± ¡°Ok, I¡¯ll keep that in mind¡± I replied. We walked down the corridor while Caff pointed at the refreshment centers along the way. He talked about the history of the guild, but I mostly ignored him. I was busy imagining all the different adventures I¡¯d go on as a guild member. The next floor was a training center. There was a dojo for martial arts, a gym room, and a turf field. While the first two floors had been empty, numerous humanoids were training in the third. A few rock people, lizard people, and other exotic species could be seen practicing weapons. Caff gave us ten minutes to explore the complex. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s a cute little guy you have there.¡± Behind me stood a large female minotaur. She was easily eight feet tall. I couldn¡¯t believe she had snuck up on me. She was holding Soap by the head. The little golem dripped soapy water onto the floor where previously the water had drained into my flask. I could tell my golem was in a state of shock as his soapy water went from a small dribble to a gushing drizzle. Soap¡¯s little arms flailed about as it tried to escape the minotaur¡¯s grip. ¡°Hi, my name is Tiaza. Nice to meet you¡± she said as we shook hands. Tiaza seemed unaware of the stress she was putting on Soap. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen one of your kind before. Are one of those infamous humans? I used to watch Saturday cartoons as a child. Tom and Jerry was my favorite¡± ¡°How did you come in contact with Tom and Jerry from across Dimensions?¡± ¡°Oh, my mother had an item for watching television. The Pteili have been keeping watch over Earth for hundreds of years. Most items form from random thoughts or ideas from people¡¯s subconscious. She¡¯d gotten into cartoons as a teenage adventurer covertly working on Earth.¡± ¡°Wait. Caff said he knew our currencies because he had an item¡¯s help.¡± ¡°That¡¯s just Caff trying to sound busy. I bet he also complained about being a receptionist. He¡¯ll do so whenever he gets the chance.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mean to be a bother, but could I have my golem back? Soap¡¯s not very social around people.¡± She was also starting to squeeze, and I was worried the little golem might crack. ¡°Sure. I remember the days when I was a wee introvert. How times have changed.¡± Soap was free at last. I found Tim practicing his spear. A silent Rockman was demonstrating some forms to him. You could tell whenever it was Tim¡¯s turn as the [annoying spear of speaking] yelled out the moves. Carlos, book in hand, was being flocked by Lizardfolk. He¡¯d asked one of them for help on a puzzle. Perhaps he¡¯d raise his intelligence by a point or two. I really wanted to know how much smarter that would make him. We might have to start calling him Sir Brainiac. To make use of the time, I looked at the shelves of training weapons. Remembering I owned a hatchet, I grabbed a wooden hand ax to swing. Unfortunately, I doubted soapy would be useful in direct combat. He could make an opponent slip though. ¡°Time¡¯s up. Everyone, gather together so we can conclude our tour. The upper levels are for guild personnel only.¡± We gathered our things and followed the grumpy angel downstairs. The DQ employees left, and I was left with just my friends. I told them I¡¯d like to join. They nodded in agreement. This was a place we could stay and learn from for the time being. I walked over to Caff. ¡°Yes, what do you need.¡± He said in a flat monotone voice. Caff wasn¡¯t very angelic for an angel. ¡°We¡¯d like to join the Pteili Enclave. It¡¯s probably a good place to learn.¡± He gave each of us a contract. There wasn¡¯t that much to it, so I signed on the dotted line. It stated what would happen if we broke the guild property and that any critical information on monsters was too be shared. It also granted us lodging options and free breakfast. I moved my luggage to my designated single cell room. Carlos and Tim were situated across the hall. I said my farewells to them and clambered into my room. I shut off the lights and jumped in bed. Soap was in his little bucket for the night. ¡°Goodnight Soap. Don¡¯t let the bed bugs bite. If they do snap them in half like the sailor men do.¡± Tomorrow would be a long day.
Name: Kevin Lamprey Guild: Pteili Enclave
Race: Human Rank: N/A
[
Stats:
Str: 8 Con: 10
Dex: 6 Int: 9
[
Items: [nervous soapy golem](soap)
[
Kills:
Chapter 3 Eggs, bacon, and pancakes form an array of delicious tastes and textures. Breakfast is said to balance blood sugar levels and even kickstart your metabolism. Many might even consider it the king of meals especially since at Pteili the food is free. Do you want coffee? Well, Bam the bartender has your back. How about freshly squeezed orange juice? Bam has got you covered. It was a shame. It was a shame when Tim shook me awake shouting, ¡°Hurry up. We¡¯re going to be late.¡± He¡¯d shouted using his outside voice. Not fair considering I was inside, and it was the break of dawn. I got up. ¡°Late for what?¡± There had better be a good reason. ¡°You agreed to go on a beginner¡¯s quest last night. We don¡¯t really have any money right now and need to get situated as adventurers. Carlos is already waiting in the hallway.¡± I had. I put on my pants, my boots, and my jacket before leaving my room. I made sure to grab my hatchet. Soap waddled after me. Carlos stood outside munching on sour skittles. ¡°Yo, what¡¯s up,¡± he said. I just nodded. Tim pointed at the stairs and hurried us along. ¡°So why can¡¯t we wait a little longer for breakfast again.¡± I voiced for the third time. Tim would only respond with, ¡°Should have woken up sooner.¡± or ignore me saying, ¡°Faster. We can¡¯t be late.¡±. In a few minutes, we had descended the building and arrived at our destination. The minotaur, Tiaza, stood waiting for us to arrive. ¡°I am so excited. We¡¯re going to be hunting some slimes today. They typically don¡¯t give items. If they do, they¡¯re relatively useless although I heard someone got a [goo of grappling] not too long ago. Apparently, the adventurer was scaling roofs with it all day.¡± ¡°Neat,¡± I said. I imagined myself being the goo version of Spiderman. Maybe I could make myself a superhero suit. ¡®Goopman saves the day¡¯ had a pleasant ring to it. ¡°Follow me. Once we get to the slime basin, I¡¯ll explain things in more detail.¡± We took off. The slime basin happened to be a few miles from the guild. It took us about twenty minutes to get there with a brisk jog. The slime basin was a hundred-yard indent into the desolate ground. The slimes rolled around sucking up the geothermal magic through their teeny monster pores. They would occasionally bump one another but didn¡¯t seem hostile at a distance. ¡°Let me show you how it¡¯s done.¡± Tiaza took off punching the slimes splattering their outer film. She didn¡¯t seem to care about the acidic ooze splashing on her hide. I imagined humans would be in trouble if they didn¡¯t take care to dodge the goo. The guild information had given these basic slimes a zero on the pH scale. That is sulfuric acid levels of acid. ¡°See. Easy, right.¡± I don¡¯t think she even considered the fact that we might be horribly burned. Since the slimes were slow-moving and weak to piercing, we wouldn¡¯t have any trouble killing them. Tim could stab them from afar and step back once he nailed the sucker. Carlos had grabbed a bow knowing he¡¯d need something ranged. That left me with my hatchet. A slime would kill me even if I hit it with my weapon. The resulting splash from being popped would disfigure me. I was going to just watch the monster-hunting until Soap gave me inspiration. It was fairer to say Soap was the inspiration. The little guy was made from marble and wouldn¡¯t be damaged by the acid. On top of that, he had a layer of soap which was slightly basic. I grabbed the little fellow and threw him at a slime. Soap landed on the slime popping it like a pimple. Unsure of what had happened, he raced back towards his owner. By the time Soap arrived back to me, his soapy water had washed away the slime¡¯s acid. He was ready to be fired once more. I picked him up and threw him at the next slime. Splat went the slime. I repeated this a few times until I had killed a dozen or so. Soap never picked up on the fact he was killing slimes. ¡°This is abuse¡± Carlos mumbled shaking his head. I felt a little guilty after that. Soap didn¡¯t have nerves though. I didn¡¯t think so anyway. He didn¡¯t seem to be hurt from landing on their squishy bodies or on the ground when I missed. Tim was busy stabbing with his spear. ¡°Stab stab stabbity stab¡± filled the slime basin. Tiaza, an experienced adventurer, would give him tips on how to stab quickly and accurately. You didn¡¯t want to miss since doing so would mean getting melted. Carlos peppered the slimes using the bow. Unlike the spear, the bow has a steeper learning curve. Shots whizzed past the monsters hitting the ground. He¡¯d hit one slime with a lucky shot. Tiaza couldn¡¯t help him with a bow as she¡¯d never used one before. ¡°I consider myself a melee specialist.¡± she¡¯d said. Noon had arrived before long. We had carefully collected the pools of acid formed from dead slimes. According to Tiaza, the acid was useful for etching metal. The membranes could be used to make gloopy bags. The one item we¡¯d obtained was a [slime amber of clicking]. If you squeezed it between your palms, it would make a clicking noise. We played rock, paper, scissors to see who would get the item. I won.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. It took a hundred clicks to get back to the guild, and I wasn¡¯t talking about a military term for distance. I squeezed my new prize. ¡°click¡±. This piece of amber was satisfying. It was still semi-solid after forming. Think stress ball that made noise. Both Carlos and Tim were bummed they had lost. I had gotten the first item since coming to this world, and it was an absolute banger. The receptionist, Caff, was sitting at his desk when we¡¯d got back. I told him we had loot to sell. I¡¯d originally thought the guild would buy the various monster parts, but Caff pointed me towards a section of tables where merchants sat waiting to make a deal. Tiaza had said I could get five copper per pint of slime and ten copper for every membrane we had. Items had a more variable value, but I didn¡¯t intend to sell my slime amber. It¡¯s worth was around a couple silver. In dollar terms, a copper was a single dollar while a silver might be worth twenty dollars. It would be weird raining down gold coins rather than hundred-dollar bills. ¡°Looking to sell?¡± The wizened old merchant asked. ¡°I am. I have these membranes worth twelve copper apiece.¡± ¡°I can only go as low as six copper. Doing anything otherwise would bankrupt me.¡± ¡°Shall we meet in the middle then? I think that¡¯d be ten copper¡± ¡°What kind of middle is that? We both know eight copper is in the middle of six and twelve.¡± ¡°Fine works for me¡± The old man handed me three gold coins and a silver for the forty membranes my group salvaged. I haggled him with him for the acid. I ended up making two silver for the gallon of acid we¡¯d brought back. Turns out slime hunting made more than minimum wage. Each of us was a gold and a silver richer than when we started today. That was six hours of work and a fun time. If I didn¡¯t die, I would be living life with a set of perfect pitch dentures. It was the adventuring dream. I ordered a farm-raised griffon steak. Would it be white meat or red meat since griffons were part bird and part lion? It turns out red meat as I dug into the medium-rare steak. Carlos and Timothy were also eating. Timothy had gone for a famous lizardman dish. It consisted of beetles tossed in a savory sauce. Carlos was eating pasta Bam had recommended would go well with his persimmon old fashioned. It was a virgin of course. Even if the drinking age was younger in Praedum, we hadn¡¯t hit it. To drink, one had to be eighteen. This was the general rule for most races based on a percentage of an adult¡¯s lifespan. A flyman¡¯s life would last about a month, therefore he¡¯d be able to drink in eight days. ¡°With a few days fighting these slimes, we¡¯ll be able to afford some armor.¡± said Carlos, ¡°I¡¯ve been told a cheap set of leather armor costs around two gold.¡± ¡°How well would it protect us from the acid?¡± I needed to know if we could somehow protect ourselves from the slimes. ¡°No. Leather is permeable so the acid would get through. Also, the leather would be damaged from the acid. We should buy a couple backpacks and fill them with water. We¡¯ll want to pour running water if someone gets into an accident.¡± We decided to spend the rest of our day, training. Carlos would practice with his bow, while Timothy would practice with his spear. I figured I¡¯d use some of my time practicing with my hatchet and teaching Soap commands. He couldn¡¯t speak, but he could signal information if I tied the slime amber to one of his arms. I would have to ask around for a book on Morse code. That would give him a way to speak. The ax instructor happened to be a demon. Flox assured me he had no beef with angels and wasn¡¯t an evil creature. He was humanoid in the shape of a man. His head was that of a raven with gnarly horns growing out the sides. His eyes had a red glow to them. Apparently, fiends had made all of the other demon species look bad. ¡°They have no self-control,¡± Flox added. Flox found that flaw detestable as a demon of knowledge. ¡°When you wield the ax, you start with the grip. You can grip the hand with one hand or both hands. Gripping different parts of the handle can also be important. If you grip the end, you¡¯ll give your swing more torque. You can also grip closer to the middle or top of the handle to adjust how quickly the strike lands and your weapons reach. I¡¯d recommend a shield if you¡¯re going to sport the one-handed variety.¡± He gave me a practice ax to familiarize myself with. I moved my hands trying each of the different grips. Flox would point out mistakes when I gripped the ax too hard. Eventually, he would have me swing at his practice shield. My ax dropped from my hands because I wasn¡¯t gripping the ax well. The second time my hand vibrated from holding it too hard. It was only a couple more tries until I successfully impacted his shield. He then started changing the angle of the shield. That¡¯s when things got hard. My ax would sometimes deflect off of it leaving me wide open. In a fight, I would be a goner. An hour later, I completed my first lesson. My muscles ached from the continuous exertion. He¡¯d also had me perform kinesthetics which would help me become nimbler on the battlefield. I took a shower relishing the warm water. They must have used some sort of heating item or form of magic. Supposedly, a spellbook could be found. It usually granted a discipline of magic in which people could improve. As dusk began to fall, I went off to look at the sky. I walked past the guild¡¯s entrance and made my way to a large boulder. Praedum¡¯s two moons glowed white, and the stars densely populated the night sky. During this time, I let my thoughts wander. What had happened to Craig? I never ended up asking. A wereasite? Did it affect others in my hometown? Would those freshmen get help? I hoped so. I wondered about what my parents thought. For five kids to go missing, my town would make national news. That¡¯s if Aivocindo and Sammie didn¡¯t have a way to cover up the story. I didn¡¯t have the answers. Did I want answers though? What if they¡¯d erased my parent¡¯s memory of me? It bothered me. It scared me. What if I somehow came back to them as a stranger? I just sat there. An hour became two hours. Two hours became four hours. Finally, I got up and headed inside. I had decided I had a responsibility to find out. Tomorrow. I walked past the guild common area, marched up the stairs, and slid into my bed. My first day adventuring had been successful. Tiring. Definitely fascinating. But most importantly, it was an opportunity. An opportunity to take control of my life. Something I haven''t had for a long time.