《Up In Space》


 Please Exit the Vehicle .1 A first time for everyone

    *Not quite yet, thoughit will seem like a good idea at the time*


    Iain grabbed the thick stick and turned it slightly, feeling significant resistance in the effort. The stream of light twisted and swirled. How the hell was he supposed to find the star cluster they were looking for in the swirling glare? Oddly enough, he didn¡¯t get dizzy or lose his lunch. But that was mostly because by the time he was considering that he realized he¡¯s closed his eyes as tight as possible.


    I think we are in a spin,the autopilot offered in helpful tone.Is that what you want?


    ¡°No!¡± Iain shouted. ¡°I want us going in a straight line towards the Lesser Xemorian Bubble.¡±


    I think you¡¯re going about it the wrong way, the voice offered in a tentative tone.


    ¡°What should I do then?¡± Iain demanded.


    Be gentle,was the response.Once you¡¯ve stabilized our trajectory you can point the shuttle anywhere you would like to


    ¡°I thought you were the autopilot,¡± he complained. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be controlling things after takeoff?¡±


    I believe ¡®was the audiopilot¡¯ is the correct terminology, the voice replied.I don¡¯t appear to be able to control much of anything, I am afraid. I¡¯m sorry if you are finding that inconvenient.My last round of maintenance was seventy-four thousand years ago.


    Iain swore, then followed the autopilots advice, eased a bit off on the force he was putting into the stick. The brightness trying to burn a hole through his eyelids faded a bit, to more of a bright green. He peaked out through his right eye, though just a crack. There was a rainbow shooting at him through the screen in front of him.


    ¡°Is that better?¡± he wondered aloud.


    That¡¯s much better, the voice said.You done this before, haven¡¯t you?


    *About 22,000 years after you read youlast tweet*


    Iain wasn¡¯t conscious, he couldn¡¯t be. After all, he felt significantly softer than he usually did. Add to that was the physical sensation he was being squeezed like a plush teddy bear in the arms of a needy five-year-old clinched it. The squeezing was uncomfortable at times, but not so unpleasant he was going to force the issue and actually wake himself up. Maybe he¡¯d just mixed some tequila with Mrs. Vukovitch¡¯s medical marijuana again. That would explain a lot.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    When consciousness finally forced the issue, Iain¡¯s mind was clear enough to know he wasn¡¯t where he last remembered he was, and neither was his body. It was chilly, enough to make him shiver, but not damp, like the wet foggy mid-October evening he recalled. He was also lying on something hard and cold, and didn¡¯t seem to be wearing any clothes.


    Oh, shit!Not again.Not on a work night.


    And¡­ his nose twitched. What was that smell?


    The inside of his eyelids glowed blue. Not likely a good sign. He opened them tentatively.


    About a hand¡¯s breadth from his face, two faces were peering at him. Both had bleary, bloodshot looking eyes, large noses, and their collective breaths stank like a brewery.


    Fuck, yes.Again.Fuck me.


    Iain let out a disgusted sigh. He didn¡¯t seem to have the motivation to move, but that wasn¡¯t a big surprise either.


    And you wonder why you can¡¯t crack four grand a month.


    The two faces looking over him rose to look at each other.


    ¡°I think we should have selected the other one,¡± said the one on the left. ¡°Defrosted, he looks even more like a Mime.¡±


    The other, eerily similar face glanced back at Iain. It worked its mouth like it was trying to come up with a response, or was maybe sucking on something rather sour.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± it finally replied, glancing past Iain¡¯s head for a moment before turning back to meet his blinking gaze. ¡°Besides, his brain¡¯s already active and is responding to the ¡®Zos. We¡¯d already be dead if he was a Mime. Or he would be. At best, it¡¯s 50-50. Or 40-60. Maybe 30-70.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not a Mime,¡± Iain forced out in a harsh whisper, becoming acutely aware of a monster hangover, like the king of all brain-freezes. Clearly, he¡¯d drunk too much at the gig. A record probably. He¡¯d never had a blackout this bad before. And, to be honest, he still wasn¡¯t convinced hewasawake.


    ¡°See,¡± the guy on the left said. These were guys, he decided. ¡°Not a Mime. You know they don¡¯t communicate like normal people.¡±


    ¡°And not screaming either, not like the last three,¡± his partner replied adding a goofy smile to his odd features. ¡°Good sign.¡±


    ¡°Got to be a first time for everyone,¡± lefty said.


    Iain tried to get up. Managed to pull himself a touch vertical by reaching out to grab the rail of whatever they¡¯d put him in. The figures backed away. The lights streaming down were too bright, forcing him to squint. Evidence was beginning to ramp up he was indeed awake, and this was no longer remotely funny.


    ¡°Where the fuck are my clothes?!¡± he wanted to know. ¡°Who the hell are you guys?!¡±


    The one on the left turned to the one on the right. He could make out that they were big, overweight guys with big pointy noses, tufts of white hair on the tops of their heads. They looked like identical twins, or almost identical. And they were wearing orange coveralls.


    ¡°Oh, the stuff,¡± Righty nodded. ¡°Could you go and get it.¡±


    ¡°Why do I have to get the stuff,¡± Lefty complained. ¡°Every single time!¡±


    ¡°Just do it,¡± his partner said. ¡°I¡¯ll digest your lunch later, ¡®kay?¡±


    ¡°Oh all right,¡± the other agreed, still sounding indignant. ¡°But it better be well digested!¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .2 Not the number 42 bus

    Iain almost made it to a sitting position then an attack of vertigo hit him. He fell back, banged his head on the metal table he was lying on and tried to keep his senses together. What did he last remember? Driving up to the reception at the Lake House with his van packed full of equipment. There had been a very heavy fog, that was for sure. Lights up ahead, he remembered, red, blue, some big, wide vehicle blocking the way. He thought it might be bus, then as he got closer maybe a semi, wide load for sure.


    He¡¯d stopped the van and gotten out. And then¡­


    A heavy weight landed on his stomach, shocking him out of his reverie.


    ¡°Jesus!¡± he breathed, then leaned up on his elbows to look at the weight on his stomach. It was cubic package, maybe a foot in each dimension, wrapped in what looked like cling wrap.


    ¡°That should be everything,¡± One of the twins told him. ¡°Except for any weapons or biohazards you may have been picked up with. Skipper doesn¡¯t like those.¡±


    ¡°Neither do we, really,¡± the other twin stated. ¡°Although¡­ sometimes biohazards can be tasty if cooked and pre-digested properly¡­¡±


    ¡°Mhmm,¡± the other agreed with a smile. "Biohazards."


    Iain let out a breath and ripped open the package. His clothes were there, pants, shirt, jacket, boxers and mismatched socks. His shoes were in a separate sub-wrapping, as were his watch and the cell phone Marty had given him last week. In another were his keys and wallet. That was it.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    He dressed and tried to stand up. Luckily, whatever he had been put in had handles. His legs were weak, like they were made of rubber. He noticed the room around him had a weird inside-of-a-ambulance look to it. But the chamber was way too big for an EMT vehicle.


    ¡°Hey, be careful big guy,¡± one of the twins advised, reaching out an arm. Together, they helped him keep on his feet; solid hands gripped his upper arms, preventing a total collapse to the floor. He identified the odor that had been bothering him. It was like burnt maple syrup. Iain glanced around; focused harder on the room he was in. What the fuck? It looked like he was in some kind of¡­ metal bulkheads, flickering lights, metal floor. No, no¡­!


    He shook off the grips on his arms, stood up more steadily, then turned to the pale pink faced twins in orange coveralls who were now smiling those goofy grins at him. God the pair had big schnozzles, not to mention wattles under their chins. So what, had he ended up in a prison, somehow? A floating prison? He kind of felt like he was on a boat. The floor did seem like it was lightly rocking.


    ¡°Welcome aboard the Transient Void,¡± Righty stated. ¡°I¡¯m Arl.¡±


    He nodded to Lefty.


    ¡°And that¡¯s Arc.¡±


    No way Iain could tell them apart. At least not in his current state of mind.


    ¡°I¡¯m on a boat?¡± he asked, not wanting to entertain the thought of what he was actually on. ¡°What¡¯s with the prison duds?¡±


    The two glanced at each other, both snickered, then they looked back up at him, grinning like idiots.


    ¡°No, primitive, YOU ¨C ARE ¨C ON ¨C A ¨C SPACE ¨C SHIP,¡± Lefty ¨C Arl ¨C stated with exaggerated slowness. Well, they both did have kind of ¡®Mericun accents.


    ¡°A starship,¡± Arc added, then gave him a good whack on the shoulder. ¡°How does that hit you?¡±


    Iain wasn¡¯t sure. For a moment he though he felt completely weightless. The impact seemed to have knocked him sideways over the metal table he¡¯d just gotten off of.


    ¡°Like a bus,¡± he decided dreamily. His body would have collapsed onto the deck right then and there ¨C if the ship¡¯s artificial gravity hadn''tsuddenly switched toa fraction of Earth normal.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .3 Just checking

    The second time Iain awoke he was lying on a bunk of some sort, a far more normal occurrence which made him momentarily question if his last bout of temporary consciousness actually had occurred. Bottom bunk, he figured out next. Then he turned his head and that act spoiled everything.


    He had a clear view of the lower parts of two pairs of blue jumpsuits sitting across from him in basically the same shape as the pair of orange jumpsuits had been. He was still in the same reality his mind had wanted to slip out of so badly the last time. He still had that hangover and the inside of his mouth still felt as rough as sandpaper. He still wasn¡¯t where he was supposed to be, and desperately hoped this was some cabin off of Route 27. The wall molding suggested an entirely different location, but Iain wasn¡¯t going to go there again.


    So he turned his focus back on the bottom of the upper bunk


    There was another reason to feel like shit. Iain had no memory of the reception, no memory of setting up the speakers, amp, equalizer and laptop for the Shevari¡¯s. It was becoming apparent that he might have never even made it to the Lake House.


    He hated disappointing clients. It was their wedding reception after all. Where the hell was the DJ going to get his audio equipment at the last minute, out in the middle of Caledon?


    Lastly, he was left wondering how he¡¯d gotten so plastered. It wasn¡¯t like he kept a bottle of Seagram¡¯s in his glove compartment. At least not any more.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± Iain forced out vehemently. It was the most appropriate response, really, all things considered. It came out a little raspy though, just as his voice had before.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    ¡°Hey, he¡¯s awake,¡± came a voice.


    In moments, he was dragged bodily from the bunk by two sets of strong arms, held up while those two pairs of eyes stared at him. There was something wrong with them, but he couldn¡¯t place it, even if he¡¯d seen them before, however long ago before had been.


    ¡°Let go,¡± he told them. ¡°I can stand on my own!¡±


    Actually, he wasn¡¯t really sure he could, but enough was enough.


    The pair let go, and he actually stood on his own. He did feel lighter than normal, though.


    ¡°Can I get something to drink,¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°Oh, sure thing,¡± on of the pair said, and quickly slapped a cup into Iain¡¯s hand. ¡°Sorry about last time. Skipper¡¯s been having a rough time with the pseudo-magnetics lately. Do you know where you are yet?¡±


    Iain took a tentative sip from the glass. The cool liquid actually tasted quite good, some sort of fruit drink with sweet/sour taste. He couldn¡¯t place the flavor. A bit of mango, banana, and maybe a hint of iced tea. No alcohol, unfortunately.


    ¡°Apparently on some kind of ship,¡± he replied glancing around. Yeah, those walls looked like bulkheads. But where would there be a ship a hundred klicks north of the big lake. He turned back to the two guys in blue.


    ¡°Did Ken put you guys up to this? Cause if he did¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± said Arc. ¡°I think you need to see something. It¡¯s probably better than us just nattering on about what¡¯s what.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± offered Arl. ¡°Most primitives think we¡¯re full of shit anyway the first time. Even those who¡¯ve been visiteered repeatedly.¡±


    Arc looked over at Arl and pointed with a thumb.


    ¡°Every time,¡± Arl said with a sigh. ¡°Can¡¯t anyone take our word? Not even with a brain full of ¡®Zos?


    ¡°Would you believe you?¡± Arc offered his twin with a cock of his head.


    Iain finished his drink in the meantime. His mouth still felt a little dry, his throat a little scratchy. The situation he was in still seemed beyond absurd.


    He put down the glass on the translucent table next to him and began searching his pockets, finally pulling out his cellphone


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Arc asked.


    Iain held up a hand.


    ¡°Just checking my messages,¡± he said. ¡°Give me a minute.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .4 Welcome aboard

    The state of his Nokia added to more of the weirdness. It did show a bar, had power, and seemed operational. But there weren¡¯t any new texts or voice mails, not even from the Shevari¡¯s. The month and year showing were way off ¨C June 18th, 9510, and he couldn¡¯t seem to get a call out, despite the bar. No wifi either. Shit.


    The screen winked out. Then brightened up again.


    ¡°Shit,¡± he repeated, deciding the battery must have died, and then switched over to power from ambient radio waves just like Marty had said it would. It was a prototype, after all. A gift.


    Ian let out a breath, then looked over at the pair in blue.


    ¡°Where are we?¡± he asked. ¡°And can we go up on deck so I can get a proper signal?


    ¡°This way, fellow traveler,¡± Arc offered with an understanding smile, and pointed towards the cabin¡¯s door. When he trundled over, it swished open.


    ¡°I better get some compensation for all this shit,¡± Iain grumbled as he followed the two. ¡°I swear, Ken, I¡¯m going to rip you a new one.¡±


    Iain followed the pair out of the cabin, and into a corridor that seemed rather wider than one on any actual boat or ship he¡¯d been on. With its carpeted floor and how that floor curved into the walls the hallway seemed more like a posh ocean liner than the smaller ferries he was accustomed to. But some of the discoloration on the white walls suggested it wasn¡¯t new.


    Iain¡¯s mind kept to the task at hand, not wanting to deal with that, and the strange writing on those said curving walls.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Maybe it was one of those lake-crossing cruisers he¡¯d been hearing about. Hadn¡¯t they been bought from Norway, or somewhere in Scandinavia?


    ¡°Here we are,¡± Arc said and waved him through and archway¡­ and into the incredible, the unbelievable, the impossible.


    Iain turned back spreading his arms out in defeat.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me this is real,¡± he pleaded.


    The two in their blue jumpsuits shrugged their wide shoulders.


    But it is, came a rich sounding female voice from all around. It all is.


    ¡°Hey Skipper,¡± Arl yelled out. ¡°Glad you could finally join us.¡±


    I have been occupied, Iain noticed a hint of irritation in its tone. Running a starship, you know. Keeps me busy.


    ¡°That looks like an arm of the galaxy,¡± Iain forced out, then turned to stare at the floor to ceiling image he hoped the blue suited pair would contradict what he was looking at. ¡°Am I right or not. Tell me I¡¯m not. Please¡­¡±


    Arl and Arc stepped up to either side of him, concern written on their faces, as though unsure if they should nod or shake their heads.


    It is easier to traverse more empty space, the surround sound voice noted. May I offer you a belated welcome aboard. You have been woken in mid-excursion.


    Arc, on his left, offered a noise of disgust.


    ¡°You mean mid-boredom,¡± Arc complained. ¡°At least inside the arms there is something going on. We¡¯re left to twiddle our digits in the meantime.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Arl replied, glancing up at the ceiling. ¡°What he said.¡±


    ¡°Where are we going?¡± Iain asked then amended, ¡°Where is the ship going.¡±


    ¡°Wherever the Skipper wants to go,¡± Arl replied with a smirk.


    ¡°Can I talk to the Skipper?¡± Iain asked.


    I¡¯m right here, the voice said. I¡¯m everywhere. You are inside me.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s you¡¯re name, new passenger?¡± Arc asked.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Iain,¡± Iain replied after a moment. ¡°Iain Compton.¡±


    ¡°Well, Iain Compton,¡± Arc said holding his hands out wide. ¡°May I introduce you to the Transient Void. The Skipper is the synthetic intelligence that drives this amazing starship. Time to be impressed!¡±


    Iain sighed. He¡¯d seen enough sci-fi shows to have an idea what he was he was in for. Impressed probably wasn''t the word he''d use.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .5 Twenty Two Thousand Years

    ¡°I kind of figured that out,¡± he replied, then glanced in the direction Arl had, hoping it would help the fact he¡¯d grown weak in the knees. ¡°Okay, are we heading back to Earth any time soon? I¡¯ve got stuff to do.¡±


    ¡°Earth?¡± Arl asked after the voice of the ship failed to respond.


    ¡°The planet I was abducted from,¡± Iain stated, looking up. ¡°The world I lived on. I¡¯d like to go back please. Now.¡±


    Nothing. He turned attention back to the pair in blue. Arl looked over at Arc, Arc looked back at his twin. Was that another smirk?


    ¡°What?¡± Iain asked. ¡°What do you know? What aren¡¯t you telling me?¡±


    ¡°How long do your people live?¡± Arc asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Iain said. ¡°A hundred years. Mostly less, some a lot less.¡±


    The latter described most of his family. Compton¡¯s weren¡¯t known for their long lives.


    ¡°Why do you want to go back so badly,¡± Arl added. ¡°You can see the cosmos with us. You are seeing it.¡±


    He pointed at the glowing scene beyond the vast window.


    ¡°Because I have a life,¡± Iain said. ¡°I have a job, friends, a girlfriend, okay ex-girlfriend, but I¡¯m going to get her back, or find another one. I have tickets. NHL hockey. Platinum section. In a couple weeks Do you have any idea how much they cost me?!¡±


    ¡°How long does a typical civilization on your world last?¡± Arc asked. Iain could swear the hefty guy was tittering.


    ¡°What the hell is that supposed to mean?¡± Iain wanted to know.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ¡°Just answer the question,¡± Arl prodded. ¡°How long?¡±


    ¡°A few hundred years,¡± Iain replied, not liking where this was heading. ¡°Maybe a thousand. Rome lasted quite a while.¡±


    ¡°All right, you might want to sit down for this,¡± Arl offered.


    Iain looked around. There were no chairs in the wide room.


    ¡°What?¡± he demanded. ¡°On the floor?¡±


    ¡°He does have a point,¡± Arc said.


    ¡°The carpet is very comfortable,¡± Arl replied smiling.


    The carpet did feel rather lush under his bare feet, that was true. It was dreamshag.


    ¡°How long have I been on this ship?¡± Iain asked, suddenly dreading the answer.


    ¡°About twenty two thousand years,¡± Arc told him. ¡°Give or take.¡±


    All Iain could do was stare.


    ¡°Twenty two thousand years?¡± he repeated.


    A few minutes later, Iain was sitting at a table staring at the new glass filled with an odd liquid that possibly was staring back up at him. He glanced over at his two companions. They had assured him it contained exactly fifty-one percent alcohol. He hoped to God it did.


    ¡°Twenty two thousand years,¡± he repeated, then repeated again, and again. Finally, he asked in a small voice. ¡°How do you know?¡±


    ¡°The skipper told us,¡± Arl said. ¡°And it should know. It runs the ship. It has always run the ship. And it said that on your cryopod¡±


    ¡°Well how long have you guys been on the ship?¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°About twenty years, awake anyway,¡± Arc admitted. ¡°Maybe about a couple thousand years in cold sleep, on and off. I had to take a time out maybe once or twice.¡±


    ¡°Is there anyone else on this thing?¡± he wanted to know. ¡°Any other passengers?


    ¡°Lots,¡± Arl agreed.


    ¡°Where is everybody else then?¡± Ian tried.


    ¡°Frozen. Asleep.¡± Arc said. ¡°Very quiet. The best.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the only two, walking around?¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°Right now, Some times we have up to five, even six.¡± Arl piped in, then turned wistful. ¡°But it never lasts.¡±


    ¡°What happened to them?¡± Iain was growing more alarmed by the moment. He took a gulp of the drink. I didn¡¯t taste alcoholic.


    ¡°Got bored, left, went back into the freezer,¡± Arc told him. ¡°You know how it is.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Iain replied, suddenly felt a little fuzzy, then glanced around at the lounge they¡¯d taken him too after his first mind shattering experience of the day. Iain had only seen the like in the cheap 70¡¯s sci-fi movies and TV shows his older brother loved so much.


    There he swallowed the rest of his drink. It was like downing a jello shot. He hoped that was exactly what it was. And held it up to the nearest twin. He wasn''t feeling it yet.


    "Give me another!"

 Please Exit the Vehicle .6 Speaking Matters

    Feeling a bit more comfortably numb, and relaxing on a faintly vibrating lounger Skipper had raised from the floor Iain repeated his last question to the pair.


    ¡°They come, they go. Mostly they go,¡± Arc offered, then added bitterly, ¡°Often they don¡¯t give us warning either. Other consentients are so rude.¡±


    Iain wasn¡¯t too surprised, especially if the two were telling the truth. He was starting to believe everything he¡¯d heard. The gravity had failed again on the way over to the lounge. Even with it on, he felt like he was a good twenty kilos lighter than his usual 85.


    Twenty thousand years. It was a lot to take in, at least sober. He took another drink. Maybe it would sink in better smashed.


    ¡°All right,¡± he said. Then stopped, suddenly filled with concern. Who was going to feed Dusty? Then he relaxed. Peter. Then he was alarmed again. Rent was due on Friday. Wait. That was twenty thousand years ago. It was all gone. Peter, Mandy, Dusty, human civilization probably. Hell, global warming had probably wiped it out nineteen thousand years ago. He finished the drink, then felt much better. Alcohol always had that effect. It made him chatty as well.


    ¡°All right,¡± Ian started again. ¡°Lets go over a few things. First. How can we possibly communicate? Your aliens from the distant future. What¡¯s the thing? Nanites? Fish in the ear? Plot convenience?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s an easy one,¡± Arl said. ¡°The ¡®Zos.¡±


    ¡°The what?¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°Protozoans, idiot,¡± Arc said, then pointed at his own head. ¡°Quantum-tunneling parasitical life-forms. We injected a new batch in your brain yesterday."


    He pointed at Iains head.


    "That is where you keep your brain, no, it has to be, or we would be able to talk,¡± he said. then followed that up with a giggle that jiggled his heavyset body.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°You injected parasites into my brain?¡± Iain started felling around his head. Hisskull didfeela little soft. That drink was strong. He put down his glass.


    ¡°Just the latest,¡± Arc said, reaching over to pat his shoulder. ¡°Obviously we didn¡¯t have to do the whole treatment, ¡®cause you responded to Basic right off. You must already have something compatible in there to give it a boost.¡±


    That took Iain a couple moments to digest.


    ¡°You¡¯re saying I already had parasites in my brain?¡± Iain wasn¡¯t sure what alarmed him more, new parasites or old in his head.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Arl added to the patting. ¡°Most intelligent species do. You¡¯re a consentient aren¡¯t you? Someone explorer or visiteer probably visited your world at some point. Although its odd, since mimes don¡¯t have them, and they¡¯re from the planet you said you were picked up from.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think he¡¯s a Mime, DNA variation¡¯s too great.¡± Arc chipped in, then suddenly appeared filled with excitement. He grinned widely ¡°Maybe he¡¯s a Clown! No one¡¯s seen a Clown in ages!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not a Mime and I¡¯m not a Clown,¡± Iain protested. ¡°I am not any kind of circus freak!¡±


    He suddenly felt sad, angry, afraid, and terribly, terribly alone. His vision blurred.


    ¡°I¡¯m not here for your amusement!¡± he finished, wiped his eyes.


    Wow, Iain thought to himself, in that detached way he did when he was drunk. That sounded really petulant. Alcohol didn¡¯t usually make him so maudlin.He looked at the green liquid in his glass, swished it around, and for the first time wondered what was in it other than alcohol.


    ¡°Calm down,¡± Arl advised. ¡°It¡¯s not going to help your adjustment. You have parasites in your brain, you have to. Come on, think about it. Must have gotten them somehow.¡±


    Well, he did have a cat. And had been living around cats most of his life. And every few years there were headlines about what cat parasites did to rats, and to people.


    ¡°Toxoplasma gondii?¡± Iain squeaked out.


    ¡°Oh, yeah, that¡¯s it!¡± Arl laughed, and then sobered down, narrowed his eyes. ¡°Are you a cat then. Mimes have cats. They¡¯re scary. Not as scary as a mime. They can depopulate planets, but cats are pretty bad.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he asserted. ¡°I¡¯m a homo sapiens¡­ sapiens. I had a cat, though, for a while. How do you know all this stuff, anyways?¡±


    ¡°Oh, the ¡®Zos make the universe go-round,¡± Arc said quickly and proudly. ¡°An intergalactic community linked through quantum entanglement. Turns any species into an interstellar one whenever they want. Got ¡®Zos and you have access to themindof the entire galaxy.¡±


    Arc smacked his partner.


    ¡°You stole my point!¡± he complained. ¡°This was my turn.¡±


    ¡°Evolution goes to the quick,¡± Arl said, then added pointedly at his twin ¨C ¡°extinct!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll show you extinct,¡± Arc warned his double, raising a fist.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .7 You Need to Adjust Your Angle

    ¡°Hey, enough,¡± Iain complained. ¡°If I¡¯ve got these things in my head, how come I can¡¯t access your so called galacticnetwork then?¡±


    Arc stopped his assault mid swing, looked back at him and raised a finger.


    ¡°Oh,¡± he said. ¡°It takes a bit of time for some species to adapt. If they don¡¯t drive you insane. There¡¯s a small chance of that. Disclaimer.¡±


    He held his thumb and forefinger close together. For a moment, it looked like Arcs¡¯ fingers were much thicker than humanly possible. And they had claws. Iain''s mind recoiled. They went back to normal.


    ¡°Or they might shut of you brain¡¯s higher functions,¡± he added. There are side effects. We¡¯ll know soon enough.¡±


    Iain let out a breath, leaned back hard on the lounger. The vibrating ramped up.


    ¡°On second thought,¡± he replied. ¡°Feel free to beat the crap out of each other.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I love permission,¡± Arc said, and punched his twin in the face.


    Iain however, had little interest in watching Arl and Arc beat each other into unconsciousness. Once the two big guys were rolling about on the floor, battering and howling at each other, he left the room, wandered around for a while. He revised his impression of the ship. It was more like an airport than a boat. Vast, empty, utilitarian. So many empty rooms. After a few minutes, he realized all he¡¯d been drinking was catching up with him. Or maybe the gravity was on the fritz again. Either way, he was in need of a particular kind of relief. And then maybe some food. Hopefully there was something here he could eat.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    But where was the washroom on the ship? Did it even have a washroom he could even recognize? The thought briefly alarmed him.


    He considered pissing in a corner, but that seemed rather gauche. He would if he had to, but there might be another way. Maybe the ship¡¯s synthetic intelligence could offer a solution.


    ¡°Skipper?¡± he asked to the air. Nothing. ¡°I need to go to the washroom. You do have washrooms, don¡¯t you?¡±


    There are washrooms, came a reply. He tried to place the voice. It sounded familiar, like someone he might have met. It didn¡¯t have much of an accent, so that wasn¡¯t likely to have been any of his clients. They were mostly South Asians these days.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Iain replied. ¡°I need to go to one, can you tell me where one is?¡±


    Do you want to wash yourself?It asked.You were washed after decanting.


    He was washed by-? No, better to not think about that.


    ¡°No,¡± Iain was getting irritated, not to mention antsy. ¡°I need to take a leak, urinate, piss, any of those words make sense to you?¡±


    Checking¡­was the response. Then nothing for a minute


    He let out a breath. His need was getting worse by the moment.


    ¡°Just tell me were the fucking washroom is or I¡¯ll do it all over your pristine white walls!¡± he shouted. Not that they were that pristine. Most of them were getting kind of grimy.


    No need to raise your voice, the Skipper replied in mild irritation.The washroom is two intersections a head of you and the first door on the right.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Iain replied. He hoped the stalls he found in there were what he thought they were. Maybe that whole parallel evolution theory was true. What he found looked like a washroom. that was good. What came later wasn''t so much.


    You need to adjust your angle down ten degrees, the ship¡¯s voice offered once he got started.


    He looked around for a camera, didn¡¯t see one. But again, this was a spaceship.


    ¡°Are you watching me?¡± he asked, a shiver runninguphis spine.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .8 Itll Kill Ya!

    I watch everything my passengers do, the Skipper said.You will appreciate my advice. Less fluid particles with spray back on you.


    ¡°I think I know how to take a leak,¡± Iain stated, annoyed. ¡°Is there anywhere on the ship you aren¡¯t watching.¡±


    That didn¡¯t get an answer.


    He finished up, looked around for somewhere to wash his hands. After three attempts, then a complaint, the skipper directed him.


    He looked at himself in the mirror over the cleaning station, took a look at millennia old him, in his clothes, jeans, t-shirt, jacket. At least he wasn''t stuck with those prison duds. Iain took a closer look at himself. He didn¡¯t look that different than he had, what, 22,000 years ago. Mop of brown hair, almost six feet tall and on the slim side, except for the paunch he¡¯d been developing over the last few years. To much wedding cake and beer. Thinking of-


    Dinner is in twenty minutes,Iain,the Skipper stated.Do you wish to partake?


    God yes. He hadn¡¯t eaten in¡­ well, twenty two thousand years, probably.


    Thankfully, the food didn¡¯t turn out as horrific as he was dreading. It looked mostly like something he¡¯d seen on TV, with the bonus nothing on any of the plates was actually moving around. And the flavors and textures, although weird, weren¡¯t especially- oh, except for those green looking carrot like cone shaped vegetable. They were absolutely revolting.


    ¡°They¡¯re filled with protein, and taste like meat,¡± Arl insisted as he chewed on one that stuck out of his mouth. "Yum."The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    Not any meat he¡¯d touch, again. But there were a few things he could eat.


    But the main problem was his dinner companions. Arl and Arc ate like toddlers. They slurped their soup and ate with their mouths open, just like one of his gaming pals, Bruce. If he¡¯d stayed longer, he might have even been more disgusted, but after twenty minutes, he¡¯d really had enough.


    And so, that was how his new life went, in deep space, in the far future. Eating, drinking, trying to avoid spending more time than he had to with the pair. There didn¡¯t seem to be a library on the ship, either text, sound or video. Apparently with access to those so-called brain parasites, you could enjoy all you wanted.


    His brain parasites, however, appeared to not want to speak to him much at all. Occasionally he experienced weird flashes. Distinct knowledge of something one of the twins mentioned. The first time was when they asked him about what kind of work he did.


    ¡°I work for an audio equipment company,¡± he told them. ¡°You know, for meetings, weddings, parties, shows¡­¡±


    The pair weren¡¯t really interested in finding out about what that meant. It was just a jumping off point into stories they could tell about themselves.


    ¡°I could too have been a decent dark matter particle filterer,¡± Arc argued with his twin.


    ¡°What you?¡± Arl snorted. ¡°Think you¡¯re a Balleeni now, do you? Don''t you know they''re food!!¡±


    Then he suddenly had a vision of an orange humanoid alien creature with three antennae.


    You got to be careful, streaming dark matter through a plasma filter to get out the impurities. ¡®Cause, bang! One mistake in the volume of flow and it¡¯ll kill ya!


    Great, he thought to himself, wincing at the voice he¡¯d heard. He somehow had Australian brain parasites? Had Frosty Jack been an Aussie cat? He had been a recue animal of unknown origins.


    ¡°You all right, human?¡± Arc asked nudging him a bit. ¡°Your eyes went glassy all of a sudden.


    ¡°I saw what I think was a Balleeni,¡± he replied. ¡°Orange guy. Antennae.¡±


    ¡°Hey, your ¡®Zos are working!¡± Arl crowed. ¡°More?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Iain sighed. ¡°That¡¯s it. It¡¯s gone. Nothing now.¡±


    Arc patted him on the shoulder.


    ¡°They¡¯ll be back,¡± he assured Iain. ¡°They¡¯re just taking their time in building those connections between your neurons and their inter-galactic network.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t so sure now that would be a anything he wanted.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .9 Wow! That blood is really red

    He¡¯d started sending off tweets with the Nokia. For some strange reason it still seemed to be able to do that, even if there couldn¡¯t be any sort of connection since the Transient Void had to be something like a hundred thousand light years from the closest cell tower not to mention another 22,000 years of time. Most of his tweets used #WTF as the main hashtag. Seemed appropriate.


    I must have watched to much Steve Irwin as a kid #alienbrainparasites #WTF,read his latest tweet.


    ¡°So what is there to do on the ship if I have to wait for my ¡®Zos to start working?¡± Iain asked the pair at the next meal.


    There was something.The ship had a3D printer. And a pretty good one at that. A real honest to goodness sci-fi replicator it seemed. It took him a few days worth of figuring out. He started with simple things ¨C new socks and underwear, a t-shirt with ¡®I¡¯m with Stupid'' pointing both left and right. A checkerboard and pieces. That offered a few hours worth of entertainment for Arc and Arl, if not for him.


    They¡¯d never encountered a game like it, and felt the need to make up their own rules.


    ¡°King me!¡± Arc crowed as he hopped a piece to his twin¡¯s side of the board.


    Arl obliged with a fist in his twin¡¯s face.


    Iain made the mistake of getting between them once. Arl inadvertently swiped at his arm. The pain was breathtaking, and Iain looked down to see his ripped shirtsleeve turn red and blood was streaming down his arm from some deep cuts.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°What the fuck did you just do?!¡± he screamed.


    ¡°Wow, that blood¡¯s really red.¡± Arc said, stopping his own swing at his brother¡¯s head.


    Iain held his arm while the bloodcontinued to flowfrom between his fingers. His upper arm burned in agony.Below the elbow ithad gone completely numb.


    ¡°We¡¯d better get you to the infirmary,¡± Arl said. Then, in response to his brother¡¯s glare protested, ¡°how was I to know he was so fragile? He¡¯s ninety percent Mime! Should be able to take a nuke to the face. And my venom isn¡¯t even as potent as yours.¡±


    Over the next few minutes, he fell in and out of consciousness. The next thing he knew, he was laying on a bed of some sort, with many shiny robotic arms with sharp and pointy instruments arrayed over him moving about alarmingly fast.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± he asked. He felt woozy, and now his entire body had gone numb. Iain was barely aware of anything. On the other hand, the pain was gone. One step back one step forwards.


    Don¡¯t be afraid, the Skipper told him.I¡¯m going to fix you, and maybe add a few improvements¡­


    When he next woke up, Iain did feel better. Looking over at his injured arm, the rips in his flesh were all gone. There wasn¡¯t even a scar. Arc and Arl were standing off to the side. Arc nudged his twin. Arl winced, then spoke up.


    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± he said. ¡°Reflex. Thought you¡¯d be tougher. Or at least immune. Can¡¯t even be a clown either, I guess.¡±


    Arc grinned at him.


    ¡°You are now,¡± he said. ¡°Tougher, anyways. Right, Skipper?¡±


    I¡¯ve added some enhancements to your basic biology, the voice of the ship said.Including organo-polymerization to your epidermis and musculature without effect on your bio-aesthetics. Not a bad job if I don¡¯t say so myself.


    ¡°You did what?!¡± Iain replied, alarmed. He got up and took a look over his body, expecting some sort of horrific alien cybertech modification added to his body despite Skipper''s claim.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .10 Anything Dangerous?

    But, he looked the same, though, brown body hair showed up liken normal against his pale skin, no metal sticking out, no holes, not even a new bump. Ian rubbed his spiky hair, patted it down. He didn¡¯t feel any different. Still a little light, but by then he¡¯d learned that ship gravity topped out at 80% Earth normal. Could use a shave. Maybe he could print up some triple-bladed disposables to deal with that.


    ¡°Hey, you okay,¡± Arl offered with a gentle pat on the shoulder. Iain shook it off. Arl¡¯s fingers didn¡¯t look at all dangerous. But they had somehow gouged strips out of his arm and injected a lethal venom into his bloodstream.


    ¡°What are you?¡± he demanded to know, then an unsettling knowledge washed over him. ¡°I¡¯m not seeing you the way you are, am I?¡±


    The two glanced at each other.


    ¡°It¡¯s a sanity thing,¡± Arc admitted, then pointed at his own oval head. ¡°For your brain health. Most consentients can¡¯t handle the alien. So you see us as not threatening, to keep you sane, until you can handle it. If you ever can.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯ve got claws, poison claws?¡± Iain reasoned. He thought about the fact the two talked about, and engaged in pre-digesting each other¡¯s food, something he just could not watch. ¡°And beaks. Feathers too? You¡¯re birds?¡±


    ¡°I guess, kinda,¡± Arl replied. ¡°If that¡¯s what you¡¯d call us.¡±


    ¡°But we¡¯re more than that,¡± Arc told him. ¡°We¡¯re evolved, advanced, inter-stellar avians.¡±


    That was up to debate, Iain decided. At least the evolved part.


    He felt a little less comfortable around the pair, and decided to move them to a slightly more complicated board game that would hopefully curb their overly violent tendencies. He thought about printing up a deck of cards, but his history with poker suggested he¡¯d better forget it.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.


    So, he tried chess. Then came a few days of very slow learning. Weirdly, the pair had the most trouble to start with where it came to bishops, and their ability to move diagonally.


    As they had a meal after an aborted game, he asked something that had been on his mind from even before his surgery.


    ¡°Is there any place on this ship where I won¡¯t be spied on by the Skipper?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the problem,¡± Arl said, mouth disgustingly full as he munched.


    ¡°It watches me while I take leaks,¡± Iain said. ¡°And offers unsolicited directions.¡±


    Arc chuckled.


    ¡°It likes to do that,¡± he noted. ¡°Gives you advice does it? It¡¯s a bit intrusive that way.¡±


    Iain nodded.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I should tell you,¡± Arc started. ¡°But, why not, you¡¯re a good guy and wouldn¡¯t do anything stupid. There are about twenty decks that it can¡¯t monitor anymore. Twenty-one through forty-three, I think. ¡±


    ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡± Iain asked.


    Arc shrugged, took a swig from his tankard. Spat out some juice back into it.


    ¡°Probably a manufacturing defect,¡± he said patting the wall. ¡°This model has its fair share.¡±


    Iain thought about that for a moment.


    ¡°Is there anything down there,¡± he asked. ¡°Anything dangerous?¡±


    Arl laughed.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t locked,¡± he finally said. ¡°And I think if something dangerous was down there, it would have gotten hungry by now. And we got you from level thirty ¨Cseven, so there you go.¡±


    That sounded reasonable to him. Iain finished up, made to leave.


    ¡°What? You¡¯re going, already?¡± Arl asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m finished eating,¡± he stated.


    ¡°But not digesting,¡± Arc added. ¡°And then¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, really,¡± Iain replied hastily. He wasn¡¯t a fan of what the pair did during their ¡®digestive¡¯ part of the meals they shared.


    As he left, he thought about the irony that he wanted to be alone, given he was more than likely the last human being alive in the universe. But there might be hope. Maybe he hadn¡¯t been the only one the ship had picked up all those centuries ago. There had to be better company to be found than these two alien birdbrains.


    Iain stepped up the pace when the sounds of ¡®sharing¡¯ predigested food started emanating from the lounge behind him. He put a hand over his mouth to help avert another sympathetic reaction.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .11 Intelligent Life in Space

    Where do you think you going? Skipper asked as he climbed the ladder down from the passenger deck. The ship''s elevator hadn¡¯t respond to his repeatedly pressing the buttons. However, the symbol showing a figure climbing down a ladder proved a good guide. The figure didn¡¯t have the right number of limbs, but a ladder is a ladder, there¡¯s only so many ways to symbolize that, he supposed.


    ¡°Just for a walk,¡± Iain replied. It was only a few more decks before he¡¯d be supposedly be no longer under surveillance. ¡°Or a climb. Don¡¯t mind me.¡±


    I wouldn¡¯t advise it, it warned.


    ¡°Why not?¡± Iain asked. ¡°You run a safe ship, don¡¯t you?¡±


    Of course I do.


    ¡°Then you won¡¯t mind me taking a stroll around it,¡± he offered. ¡°Do some exploring. A walkabout.¡±


    Of course not.


    ¡°Then we¡¯re good,¡± Iain replied.


    I must stress, however, if you are not under my watchful eye, I won¡¯t be able to assist you should you encounter something problematic, the ship¡¯s voice persisted. Such as traumatic injury ¨C severe traumatic injury.


    ¡°You¡¯ve made me much more injury resistant, haven¡¯t you?¡± Iain replied. He wished he could tell the difference, before/after. He certainly didn¡¯t feel like he¡¯d been filled with ''pseudo-polymerized tissue'', however that should feel like. ¡°Thank you very much for that.¡±


    Your welcome, Iain, now may I suggest-


    The voice cut out mid-sentence. Beside him on the ladder well wall was a sign that read clearly in glowing letters,Deck 21.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    ¡°Hello? Hello? Skipper?¡± he tried.


    Nothing.


    Sweet.


    After climbing for another twenty minutes Iain finally reachedDeck 37. With relief, he jumped down to the deck. It didn¡¯t look much different than the other decks, even had about the same accumulation of dust. The lighting was also a bit dimmer, but to be honest, the lights on the passenger deck were set ridiculously bright. It was like it was a movie set up there.


    Now, where were the suspended animation chambers Arc and Arl mentioned he¡¯d been taken from? If what they said was true, and his freezer unit was brought up from this level, then other ones must be here. True, they would probably have been filled with rednecks, if all the movies about alien abductions were accurate, but even the company of a redneck could hardly be worse than what the pair offered.


    The trouble was, the Transient Void was a big ship, a really big ship. Iain decided after a couple hours of searching though empty corridors and galleries he really should¡¯ve brought a lunch.


    Those purple pear shaped fruits would have been perfect. They tasted just like chicken Kiev, meaty on the outside, a peppery sauce in the middle, and they even seemed breaded. And they actually did taste exactly like chicken. Funny that.


    Nothing to do, for it, Iain decided. He¡¯d just have to order extra when he got back topside.


    Another hour in, Iain could feel a distinct chill in the air, a breeze wafting from the corridor ahead of him. Bingo! He jogged ahead. Yes! He could see footprints in the dust and followed them to wherever they lead.


    Sure enough, there was a set of double doors with cool air streaming from between the crack in the frame. This must be the place. Or one of them.


    ¡°Open sesame?¡± he asked. That didn¡¯t work. ¡°Okay how do I get in?¡±


    A line of light glittered along the doorframe to what appeared to be a door handle just about where one would expect a door handle to be.


    ¡°Oh, right,¡± Iain chuckled to himself. A couple weeks and he thought all the doors on this space ship were automatic and swished open on approach. It they weren¡¯t locked, that was. There had been a few of those, but all Skipper or the twins would tell him was that they were authorized for crew only. Only there were no crew, but his arguments had lead nowhere so he''d stopped asking.


    Iain took in a breath, reached for the handle, pulled opened the door then entered a vast chilly gallery. Before of him stood row after row of frost covered containers, some human sized, some smaller, some larger, some a lot larger.


    Okay then. Where to find some intelligent life in space?

 Please Exit the Vehicle .12 Kind of Bitey

    Iain walked down the aisles, gaze glancing from cryopod to cryopod, searching for something that might look human inside, or at least was picked up near the time he was. Thankfully he¡¯d asked Arl how to check for the screen on each cylinder that showed important information.


    Surprisingly, not a lot of the beings he found in the chambers looked nearly as human as the twins did. Was his mind and/or the parasites in there adjusting to the fact he was living among aliens? Or was there some interaction between infected brains that allowed it? Maybe most of these aliens might not even infected?


    Unfortunately, there wasn¡¯t anyone around to consult. And his ¡®Zos weren¡¯t helping.


    There were even things that had to be animals, such as the Zaboos of Ebabon, who looked as cute as some kind of kitten/koala crossbreed.


    He checked out the information on them.


    Pros, the readout said: As cute as is conceivable.


    Cons, the readout added: Kind of bitey. Kind of really, really bitey.


    A tidbit of info came unbidden into his mind. And some flashes of horrifically violent imagery that made him step right back.


    The first Zatari colonists on Ebabon though they would make the perfect pet. The last colonists thought they¡¯d managed to eradicate them. They were wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong!


    After he stopped shaking, Iain took in a gulp of breath to calm himself. Still Australian though. Maybe he was stuck with it. Could be worse. Although not likely much.


    He¡¯d managed to check out nearly a hundred pods, often having to rub or scrape off a light coating or thicker layers of frost with his fingernails before finally reaching one that looked to hold something human. Very human. Very, very human.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    He couldn¡¯t help but stare, and after a minute, he rubbed away enough frost to see entirely what was laying within. It was a woman, looking maybe thirty give or take, with ruddy skin and cornrows. Oh, yes, and as naked in there as he had been when he was defrosted. Interestingly enough, both her drapes and carpet were corn rowed. That had to take some skill.


    After staring for a while, probably longer than was remotely polite, he turned to check the information on the being frozen within. Hmmm. It listed the species as ''Unregistered''. That was something he hadn¡¯t thought to ask Arl about, thinking that most intelligent species in the Galaxy would be known, given what they said about the ''Zos. What would even qualify as an unregistered species? It wasn''t like even base humans hadn''t been unregistered.


    Iain checked the time/date on the suspension. It read 22,036 years. That was within a hundred years of his abduction, according to what Arc and Arl had told him.


    "Bingo!" he said out loud.


    But he didn''t yet make a move.


    He thought again, about what unregistered might mean, stood there for a couple more minutes looking over the frozen body. It was certainly a body that was a lot preferable to have around compared the heavyset pair upstairs offered.


    Sure, she was probably well out of his league, but what did he have to lose? Iain spent another couple of minutes debating that. Pulled out his phone and sent a tweet.


    Hot alien in cryo, do I defrost her? #potentialfreezerburn #WTFalientech.


    No response.


    ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s do it,¡± he decided, then searched the controls for a clue. Sitting there in the middle of a panel was indeed a big button marked, ''defrost'' and wasn''t accompanied by the usual buttons that would accompany it, like ''pizza'' or ''high''.


    "It''s not a microwave, Iain," he told himself, working up the courage to do what he''d come down here to do. "Or if it is, you''re about to find out.


    He pressed the button. Even he was surprised at how simple the process was, but like a microwave was exactly how it appeared to work, including the hum, the warming of the glass, although no revolving dish. But then, how complex should it be. Arc and Arl had pulled him out without Skipper''s help. So defrosting this woman had to be easy enough even for an idiot, right?

 Please Exit the Vehicle .13 Is That the Best You Can Come Up With?

    The frost at melted off the pod surprisingly quickly, the remaining condensation dripping and steaming away. Iain stepped back when the transparent covering slid up without warning, revealing the naked, mostly human looking woman, apparently none the worse for all the centuries she¡¯d spent as a living popsicle.


    She looked a little different defrosted. For one, she did have a somewhat more purplish hue to her skin than appeared the first time around, certainly not any skin tone he¡¯d ever seen in real life. But maybe that meant she¡¯d been picked up after people could change their skin color , or perhaps it was a complete body if light colored hemangioma. She did appear to have all the requisite human appearing parts, though.


    Iain leaned over the rim to try and work out whether or not she was waking up as he had, was even breathing - alive. After a few moments, he did spot that she was breathing, her alluring chest rising up and down. Then he held his own breath as she took in a deep breath, stretched, and then opened her eyes wide. They were the most unexpected shade of bright yellow-orange.


    The woman looked up at him, then at herself, and then her expression turned to one, not of fear or embarrassment, but of annoyance. The kind where you realize you¡¯ve done something incredibly stupid, like say, woken up in an unfamiliar setting after a long night of drinking. It was expression Iain was all too sympathetic with.


    ¡°Yamulka!¡± she swore. It sounded like she meant it as a curse. ¡°I hate it when this happens!¡±


    She turned her gaze back on him.


    ¡°All right, what do you want?¡± she asked in a perturbed tone, pushing herself up on her elbows.


    Iain was speechless. He hadn¡¯t actually prepared anything to say for when she woke up.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    ¡°To wake you, free you?¡± she narrowed her orange eyed gaze at him, waiting for his response. ¡°For company?¡±


    Then she rolled her eyes, as if having determined his reasons weren''t that noble. Well, she was right.


    ¡°Really, you abducted me for that?¡± She didn¡¯t sound at all happy, but more resigned than angry.


    ¡°No¡­¡± Iain forced out. ¡°I didn¡¯t- I wasn¡¯t the one that abducted you.¡±


    He pointed up the bare metal ceiling with its tubes and conduits and harsh lighting.


    ¡°I think the ship did,¡± he explained. ¡°It abducted me as well. It seems a little¡­ off.¡±


    The woman seemed to ponder that a moment, then nodded, and reached out a hand.


    ¡°Could you get me out of here, then?¡± she asked. ¡°This metal is really cold. You think they¡¯d for once design a cryopod for warm blooded beings.¡±


    ¡°I agree,¡± he told her, grasped her hand and helped her out of the capsule. Her hands were as cold as he expected but they didn¡¯t feel as rigid as he as he was accustomed to where it came to human hands. No matter. She was up and talking and seemed friendly enough. Not to mention rather physically attractive and by her own admission, warm-blooded as well. That had to be good news.


    That¡¯s evolutionary biology for ya. But remember, almost twelve percent of consentient species practice some form of sexual cannibalism. Sure, they¡¯re enticing, how better to get you close enough to eat ya alive!


    Ian shook more nasty images out of his head. Tried. Damn parasites!


    The woman cocked her head.


    ¡°You all right?¡± she asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m good, perfectly fine. What¡¯s your name?¡± he asked as she surveyed the compartment, looking left and right. Iain still had hold of her arms, and didn¡¯t really want to let go. Her indigo shaded lips had a very alluring curve to them.


    ¡°Cygnus,¡± she replied holding his gaze again with those orange tinted eyes.


    ¡°Really?¡± he asked. The swan? Was this his brain parasites again, making things seem comfortable, familiar, even goofy?


    ¡°Really,¡± she replied, smiling. Her left cheek dimpled when she smiled. The dimple disappeared. She seemed confused. ¡°Cygnus Phi, I think. No, no its Phi. Just a moment.¡±


    She held up a hand.


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said, lowering the hand, forcing him to step away. ¡°Mixed up the ordering for a moment. And you are?¡±


    ¡°Iain,¡± he replied. ¡°Iain Compton.¡±


    Cygnus offered him a puzzled look, narrowed her gaze at him as she appeared to examine his features.


    ¡°Really? Iain Compton? That? Is that the best you can come up with?¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .14 Be Gentle

    Iain wondered what she¡¯d heard through the translation, and then he got distracted, glancing down from her face to¡­


    ¡°Does that seem something weird to you?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I have not idea what it means,¡± Cygnus admitted. ¡¯Zos aren''t much help there.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t the one who came up with it,¡± he started. ¡°I''m not finding ¡¯zos much use at all.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she replied, then glanced at where his gaze was directed. Then her tone changed. ¡°Oh¡­ you¡¯re a male, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    He looked back up into her gaze. It was starting to become clearer to Iain Cygnus might not be as human as she looked, given the shade of her skin and the alienness of those eyes of hers. But he still held out some hope it was simply the effects of his being woken up after twenty two thousand years. He¡¯d been rather out of it, maybe he still was.


    ¡°Yes, of course,¡± he said, then grew worried. ¡°Why do you ask?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t know, where you were just staring?¡± she told him, then pointed at her chest. He had to admit his eyes had been drawn there, repeatedly. ¡°I guess you are going to want to touch them now.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Iain asked, trying to keep his eyes on her face. He noticed even her eyebrows were corn rowed like all her hair . He struggled with the desire not to be a gentleman at all. And she also just might be a cannibal, after all. Although, since they might not be the same species, could it be called cannibalism? Shit, those damn things in his head.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    ¡°Go ahead,¡± Cygnus invited, the edge of her mouth crooking. ¡°I know you¡¯re not going to stop thinking about them until you do. Males are all the same, doesn¡¯t matter the species. Just be gentle.¡±


    He gaze narrowed with suspicion.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have retractable claws, do you?¡±


    ¡°No, no, no¡± he replied, realizing he was grinning, and tried to stop, wasn¡¯t sure he succeeded. He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers. ¡°Just fingers and well trimmed nails.¡±


    She nodded and he reached out to touch her.


    ¡°Just one,¡± she advised. He retracted his left hand and touched her right breast with his right hand. It was warm and supple, seemingly very real, very human. She reacted by taking in a breath, adjusting her stance, and offering maybe a touch of a smile, he wasn¡¯t completely sure on that point. Hell, with those parasites in his brain, what could he be sure of?


    ¡°Can I touch the other one?¡± he asked. She nodded. It felt much the same.


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said, then after a few seconds pushed his hand away. ¡°That¡¯s enough. My turn.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Take your clothes off, Iain Compton,¡± she told him, pointed at her naked body with both hands. ¡°You get to see this and get to touch this. I get to do the same. Right?¡±


    Iain felt a sudden rush of self-consciousness, but also realized that that was fair and also might lead to sex a lot sooner than he expected. And it wasn¡¯t like anyone else was watching. So he took off his clothes, occasionally glancing at Cygnus to gauge her opinion of his perhaps not perfect example of a human male. And it was chilly down here. He was kind of aroused, but still, chilly.


    She walked around him, and he stood still, jumping slightly when he felt something cold against his behind.


    ¡°Problem?¡± she said as she came around from the other side.


    ¡°Cold hands,¡± he said.


    ¡°Cold sleep,¡± she replied. ¡°They¡¯ll warm up soon. Eventually. Hopefully.¡±


    She glanced below his waist where there was a clear reaction.


    ¡°You definitely are a male,¡± she noted, pursing her lips. She looked back up into his eyes raised an eyebrow. ¡°Can I¡­ touch it?¡±


    ¡°Just be gentle,¡± he replied, then felt a little worried, apprehensive. ¡°You don¡¯t have retractable claws either? Do you?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± she replied, sounding definitely amused at the thought though. ¡°Not when I last checked.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .15 This Isnt the Time for Modesty

    Iain felt himself tense, both with fear and with excitement. But, just as Cygnus was about to touch him, a loud voice booming from down the corridor interrupted them.


    ¡°Hey, stop that!¡± the intensity, the loudness of the roar made him step back. Iain looked around worriedly for its source. ¡°She¡¯s only allowed to touch my man-parts!¡±


    Iain looked over to see a very large, and also very clearly, intimidatingly greyish male figure coming down the corridor towards them in a loping stride. How much did that alien guy weigh? The deck reverberated under his massive feet. He glanced at Cygnus with alarm. The expression on her face wasn¡¯t that of fear, though. It had turned into what could best be interpreted as a look of disgust as she to turned to look where he was looking. She had by then retracted her reaching hand.


    ¡°Orwon,¡± she stated with dripping disdain. ¡°Are you responsible for this?¡±


    The figure slowed his approach slightly as he got within ten or so meters. He spread out long muscular arms.


    ¡°Come on vlada,¡± he told her. ¡°I did this for us.¡±


    Iain turned back to Cygnus, starting to get that sinking feeling again. It wasn¡¯t the first time, exactly, he¡¯d found himself in this kind of situation once or twice before. You get that when you attend a few dozen wedding receptions a year. Although, to be fair, if you added standing naked on a starship facing off against a very big alien, it would be a sort of a first.


    ¡°Is he your-?¡± he started. Cygnus cut him off, her lips curled.


    ¡°Ex,¡± she said, shooting him an annoyed glance. Then she turned back to the easily eight foot tall looking grey-skinned hulk. ¡°Last time I hook up with bio-mechanicals, though. They just so obsessed over their hydraulic pumps. All frigging night.¡±


    He turned back to the hulking Orwon.


    ¡°So you kidnap me, after I tell you we are through? That¡¯s your solution to a break up?!¡±


    The big guy was maybe five meters away now. But his expression, posture had turned to confused from angy..


    ¡°It was a test, wasn¡¯t it?¡± Orwon bellowed in disbelief. That was replaced quickly by insistence. ¡°And now this is another, right. You wanted me to give up everything for you too. And I have.¡±Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    From her look, maybe he¡¯d overreached. Iain could see her mouth was wide open as if she was experiencing a profound WTF moment..


    ¡°How did he wake up?¡± he wondered, as the huge muscular being lumbered ever closer each footstep causing the deck to vibrate on impact. With perhaps not the most chivalrous move, he took a step back. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t he still be frozen?¡±


    Cygnus replied with a noise of disgust.


    ¡°Oh, he probably tied in to programming for our chambers when he snuck on board this ship. Just like him to do that,¡± she suggested. ¡°That was one of his exit plans, I seem to remember. I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d actually go through with it, but I guess there was a revolution brewing.¡±


    Then she turned back to the hulking alien.


    ¡°So you have me put under for thousands of years? I didn¡¯t ask you to makemegive up everything! We are through Orwon. Completely done!!¡±


    The big grey being started shaking with fury.


    ¡°Not if I can get you alone again,¡± the giant said, and began to run towards Iain.


    ¡°You¡¯d better run,¡± Cygnus told him. ¡°Now! Run!¡±


    Iain didn¡¯t need to be told twice, considering the big guy was charging at him. He made a swipe at his pants on the way, but missed. He ran as hard as he could, but seriously wondered how he was going to get away from an eight-foot tall hulk who could clearly outpace him.


    He didn¡¯t have to.


    He¡¯d barely taken three strides when he heard and felt a resounding thump that reverberated through the chamber. Iain turned around and saw the big guy had his face planted into the floor. Cygnus had jumped up on his and was twisting an arm while the giant moaned and writhed in agony on the floor.


    ¡°Get over here and help me!!¡± the alien woman shrieked at him. ¡°I can¡¯t hold him down for long!¡±


    Iain thought for a moment, then jogged back. He again tried another swipe at his pants. Missed.


    ¡°There isn¡¯t time for modesty!¡± Cygnus yelled at him as the giant grunted, tried to overturn her. ¡°Take hold of his other arm.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± he asked as he gingerly approached the struggling figure under her knee. ¡°How strong to you think I am?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d better be strong enough! Now, grab and pull!¡± she ordered.


    It took Iain a couple tries, but he managed to grab the giant¡¯s other arm near the elbow. Orwon¡¯s huge hand grabbed his arm as he did and squeezed painfully.


    ¡°Shit he¡¯s got me!¡± he yelled back.


    ¡°Good, you have leverage now¡± Cygnus forced out. ¡°Now pull, hard. Come on do it. He''s bio-mechanical. His parts come off. But if he get¡¯s loose again he will kill you. You want that to happen?¡±


    Not exactly, he decided.


    So, Iain pulled, hard. Without warning, he heard a loud pop and fell back, still clutching the now limp arm. Orwon bellowed in rage.


    ¡°There we go,¡± he heard Cygnus gasp, and then hear more scrambling.


    When he looked up, Orwon was moaning on the deck, but he wasn¡¯t bleeding, even though both his arms had been ripped off. Huh.


    ¡°Oh, come on vladaka,¡± the giant complained, staring in fear at Cygnus who had moved down his body. ¡°I really do love you. Ineedyou!¡±


    ¡°Help me with his legs.¡± Cygnus had already grabbed one by the knee. ¡°Come on! Let''s make a wish.¡±


    He was sure that wasn''t exactly what she meant.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .16 He Had it Coming

    Iain dropped the arm he¡¯d been holding, got up, walked over and grabbed the alien¡¯s other shin, if reluctantly.


    ¡°This is getting a bit gruesome,¡± he suggested.


    ¡°Oh please,¡± she replied, sounding exasperated. ¡°He¡¯s all these part come off, I told you. Arms, Legs, Head, Torso, even gonads, they are all separate and replaceable. Its not like this hurts him. And he would have crushed your skull with his bare hands if we hadn¡¯t torn his arms off. It¡¯s your limbs or his Iain Compton, make your choice.¡±


    Cygnus twisted the leg hard. Orwon screamed again in pain or maybe it was rage, Iain couldn¡¯t really distinguish the difference yet.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Iain replied starting to twist the leg he had grabbed. ¡°You¡¯ve made your point.¡±


    ¡°Glad you can see that,¡± Cygnus said with a smile. ¡°Now let¡¯s make a wish!¡±


    Iain did as she motioned. Both legs popped off as easily as the arms had. He dropped the heavy limb, surprised at how quickly and painlessly (for them) they¡¯d managed to deal with the huge male alien. He glanced over at Cygnus. She¡¯d already tossed the other leg away and had stepped up to the now multiple amputee¡¯s head. She then got down on her knees, bent over while she wrapped her arms around Orwon''s thick neck.


    ¡°No, no please no!¡± the alien yelled, his agony muffled as she pulled hard against his chin.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    The big beach ball sized head popped off and flew through the air, bouncing away down the corridor. The force of the action left Cygnus curled over on the deck chest still heaving with the effort it had taken to decapitate her former... lover? She lay there, looking up at Iain as he approached. She waved him off as he extended a hand to help her up.


    ¡°Get his head,¡± she told Iain then waved at Orwon¡¯s other body parts. ¡°I¡¯ll find a place where we can put these pieces.¡±


    Independent or not, the big alien¡¯s head was silent and dead looking when he finally reached it. It took some effort to heft it, but Iain managed and brought it back to where the rest of Owon''s drawn and quartered body lay scattered in pieces on the deck.


    ¡°Over here,¡± he heard Cygnus call. She¡¯d opened up some kind of chute at the end of a row of freezer pods. Already she was in the process of forcing a leg into it.


    He helped with the rest of the body. The torso was the hardest to stuff in but they finally managed to force it into the opening. The big aliens¡¯ skeletal structure wasn¡¯t, apparently, quite as rigid as it had looked. When it finally slid down out of site, Cygnus leaned against the opening, and let out a loud exhale.


    Iain relaxed against a cold metal post well, then wondered something.


    ¡°Where do you think this goes?¡± he asked. ¡°Into another freezer pod chamber?


    Cygnus looked down the shaft, took a sniff.


    ¡°Incinerator, I think,¡± she said, then turned to smile at him.


    Iain felt an involuntary shudder run through him. Then a touch of revulsion filled him.


    ¡°Did we just incinerate your-?¡± Iain wasn¡¯t sure what to call the giant, not having much experience with alien relationships, really. She¡¯s called him her ex¡­


    Cygnus merely shrugged in response, then pulled down the chute''s lid with a loud clank.


    ¡°He had it coming,¡± she asserted. ¡°He kidnapped me, froze me on a space ship for thousands of years, and he was just about to kill you. And he¡¯s done a lot worse, believe you me. A whole lot worse.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .17 There’s Cake?

    ¡°But you and he-?¡± Iain was aware he probably should shut up, but his mouth kept on going. ¡±I mean, did-?¡±


    Cygnus sighed. His glance diverted again to her breasts as her chest expanded and contracted.


    ¡°The first few dates were nice,¡± he heard her confess. ¡°Then I found out who and what he really was. That kind of cooled things off. But, you know, not for him.¡±


    Iain looked back up at the disappointment and then speculative expression written on her face. She narrowed her orange tinted gaze at him.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t done anything like, firebomb a whole planet have you? Lead genocidal wars, that sort of thing?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡± Iain replied, then became aware at how long he¡¯d taken to answer. ¡°In fact, I¡¯ve never even killed anybody before this¡­¡±


    Cygnus returned a kind smile.


    ¡°I thought so. You don¡¯t seem the type,¡± she replied, then shook her head, wagged a finger at him. ¡°Don¡¯t prove me wrong!¡±


    Iain didn¡¯t have an answer for that, at least not yet, so he just shook his head in response. Cygnus turned and walked back towards her capsule, then bend down to pick up his shirt, started putting it on.


    She turned back and offered him a pair of raised eyebrows as she buttoned up.


    ¡°Let this be a lesson to you,¡± she told him. ¡°It¡¯s not a good idea to kidnap me, lock me in a freezer, and be a genocidal maniac.¡±Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ¡°Noted,¡± Iain replied. For a moment, he wondered if that meant being/doing two out of the three would be acceptable in her books of if that was the order those things had to take place. Not wanting to test that theory just yet ¨C or maybe ever ¨C he decided to get dressed himself, walked over to his pants, grabbed them, then started putting them on. Zipping up, he turned to Cygnus, who had finished buttoning up as far as she was going to, leave the top two buttons undone. His shirt was tight on her in all the best places. She took a sniff of the collar, plucked at the checked fabric, self-consciously, he thought, then gave him a concerned look.


    ¡°You don¡¯t mind do you? It¡¯s not like you brought me my clothes when you defrosted me. And this smells nice.¡±


    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± he told her a little guiltily, while she knelt down and picked up his shoes. ¡°I didn¡¯t even look for them. I guess I was excited to find someone who might be¡­¡±


    He didn¡¯t have a good way to end either.


    ¡°The social circle on this ship is pretty small,¡± he finished.


    She bent down to pick up his shoes, stepped over to him


    ¡°You mean one that appeared sexually compatible?¡± she asked with a knowing gaze. Iain¡¯s face went hot and his pants tightened up pretty fast. That hadn¡¯t happened since high school. She prodded him with the shoes. ¡°Fair enough. These are too big for me.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± he replied and took the shoes, knelt down to put them on.


    ¡°The ship should know where my clothes are,¡± he heard Cygnus say as he tied them up.


    ¡°We¡¯ll have to go up a few decks to ask,¡± he told her. ¡°This level is dark as far as the Skipper is concerned.¡±


    When she returned a questioning glance he added, ¡°the Skipper is the ship¡¯s A.I., control system, pilot.¡±


    Cygnus nodded in response.


    Iain looked left and right, then back to her.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know were to look anyways,¡± he confessed.


    ¡°Probably Orwon¡¯s doing,¡± she said with a grimace. ¡°Always was a paranoid gargravak.¡±


    He became keenly aware she was now staring at his bare torso.


    ¡°Well,¡± he asked, wondering.


    ¡°You¡¯re a bit soft in the middle,¡± she stated offering a bit of a shrug.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he told her, optimism declining a bit. ¡°That would be all the cake.¡±


    That perked her up. Cygnus straightened. Her whole expression brightened with anticipation.


    ¡°There¡¯s cake?¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle.18 Smooth is Mandatory

    Crap. Cake. Or more importantly, lack thereof.


    ¡°Not here,¡± Iain replied hastily. ¡°Sorry to disappoint you. I used to deliver wedding cakes a lot, before I got into DJ rentals. That¡¯s where the paunch comes from, sorry.¡±


    Her eyebrows rose.


    ¡°Been married a lot have you?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ no,¡± he let out a laugh. It felt good. ¡°They were for other people¡¯s weddings.¡±


    ¡°And a cake wasn¡¯t frozen with you?¡± she asked, in a mix between hopefulness and anticipated disappointment. ¡°I am less and less impressed by whoever is captaining this ship.¡±


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he tries. ¡°I get the impression it¡¯s just a computer system, an AI, although it does call itself ¡®the¡¯ Skipper.¡±


    Iain realized that he¡¯d been thinking of the AI as both ¡®the¡¯ Skipper and Skipper alternatively and decided at that point to just refer to it as Skipper. Really, was the definite article necessary?


    ¡°That¡¯s okay,¡± she told him in a warm tone, patting his arm, then put on an amused expression. ¡°I¡¯m sure you would have brought one with you if you could. Let get some food anyways. I¡¯m starving and as you know, I haven¡¯t eaten in at least twenty thousand years.¡±


    ¡°I know how that feels,¡± Iain confessed.


    Cygnus responded with another chuckle. He caught a glimpse of her teeth. They were white and did look to be on the sharp and pointy side. And it was just sinking in what they¡¯d done together. Still, her ex had been a huge monster alien, so may he¡¯d done the universe a service? Iain knew he¡¯d have to think about it at some point.


    ¡°So what are we waiting for?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Right. This way.¡±


    With no further ado, he led Cygnus to the ladder shaft and started climbing up. For the first time he thought about the ship¡¯s artificial gravity, wondering exactly how exactly it worked. Arc had mentioned something a while back about pseudo-magnetics, but again, that meant nothing to him. He¡¯d have to check into that in the future, at least for curiosity¡¯s sake.


    They¡®d climbed up a number of decks before she spoke up again, asking, ¡°How is it the ship still has blacked out decks? I can see Orwon having done that when he had us frozen, but that was millennia ago. What kind of ship is this anyway? Why haven¡¯t the faults been repaired?¡±The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Apparently the Skipper has been ignoring mandatory recalls for quite a while,¡± he told her. ¡°Not clue what that¡¯s all about yet.¡±


    Although having a potentially crazy ship¡¯s computer was a worrying concept. It rarely worked out well in any movies he¡¯d ever seen.


    As if on cue, a familiar voice filled the shaft.


    Iain dear, your shirt appears to be wrapped around an unknown life form, Skipper stated. From the wall lettering on his right, Iain could see they had climbed up to Deck 21. Would you like me to exterminate it?


    ¡°No, no no!,¡± he ordered, then tried to sound more nonchalant. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Skipper. It¡¯s just a new friend I found down on Deck 37. Her name is Cygnus.¡±


    Iain, Skipper continued in a tone that grew in suspicion as it continued. The life form below you is unregistered. I don¡¯t have her listed in my systems. You could be at risk. All my passengers could be at risk.


    ¡°She¡¯s just a... her name is Cygnus, and she¡¯s all right,¡± he repeated, stopping, worried at what sounded like hostility on the part of the synthetic voice. ¡°She was brought on board against her will. By a homicidal maniac.¡±


    I did not give you authorization to wake any other sleeping passengers, Iain.


    Shit.


    What was it going to do?


    ¡°Excuse me, Skipper?¡± Cygnus piped in. ¡°Where was the authorization you received to assist in Audub Orwon Worldburner escape justice after leading his horde through the Quillonon sector. I would think that, since they recognize synthetic intelligences as consentients in that part of the galaxy, a clear violation of galactic treaties such as providing such aid would be problematic for you, wouldn¡¯t it? I mean, as a consentient AI, you¡¯d be treated like any other being associating and abetting his numerous genocides, wouldn¡¯t you? That sounds bad, right?¡±


    I do not have any records of providing such aid provided to any being under that title, Skipper responded, suddenly sounding unsure of itself. And if so, I would certainly act according to all galactic statutes. I am a law abiding consentient.


    ¡°Well, then you don¡¯t have to worry,¡± Cygnus replied in tone that dripped honey. ¡°Iain helped me deal with the criminal you were carrying. And you will be happy to know his remains have been incinerated according to the strictures of forty-five of ninety prosecuting systems currently accepted by galactic statute in the Adriac Belt. I am sure his victims will be happy to know this as well. Or their inheritors, I suppose, should you be interested in contacting them. The might even give you a reward, even a medal maybe.


    Silence.


    ¡°I¡¯m Cygnus Phi, by the way. And I¡¯m so happy to have come aboard. Please accept my sincerest gratitude at providing me transport on your beautiful ship.¡±


    Iain gripped the ladder rung worriedly while he waited for the Skipper to respond. After a few tense seconds it finally offered its reply.


    Welcome aboard, Cygnus Phi, the voice replied cheerily. I am your Skipper. I hope you will enjoy your time on the Transient Void.


    ¡°That was smooth,¡± Iain said quietly to Cygnus as he once again started up the ladder, her following.


    ¡°You want to live as long as I have in this galaxy, smooth is mandatory,¡± she replied.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .19 Radiation Damage

    Cygnus sat at the table beside Iain. Arl and Arc sitting opposite, their curious gazes mostly on her. She glanced down at the food she¡¯d been provided, looking profoundly unimpressed. Each piece had exactly one bite¡¯s worth taken out of it. What followed was the most fascinating series of facial responses he¡¯s witnessed, few of them remotely positive.


    ¡°I was promised cake,¡± she complained petulantly.


    ¡°That isn¡¯t cake?¡± Arl asked pointing at a the blue square with a nibble taken from one corner.


    She shook her head.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not,¡± she told them. ¡°None of it is.¡±


    ¡°We asked Skipper for cake,¡± Arc stated. ¡°It said it was cake.¡±


    ¡°That one is a bit like a waffle,¡± Iain said pointing at the blue square, then pointed a round roll that was brown with white bits poking out of it. ¡°The other thing, it¡¯s like a meatloaf I think? I have to say it¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve had meatloaf, though.¡±


    Cygnus glanced back at him, offering an expression openly stating his remark was dubious at best.


    ¡°And that¡¯s cake to you?¡± she asked.


    ¡°In a way,¡± he offered. ¡°Meat cake, I guess.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t cakes supposed to be light, fluffy¡­¡± Cygnus wanted to know. ¡°Sweet?¡±


    ¡°You have a point,¡± Iain replied.


    The food the Skipper provided had come up with was a little short in the department of sweet.


    She also wasn¡¯t impressed with Arl and Arc, which made Iain feel better in his own assessment of the pair. Although, to be fair her behavior around him was some kind of bipolar. Cygnus would hang around him asking all sorts of things about his job, his life on Earth, and about how he¡¯d ended up on the ship and Flirted shamelessly, while they got to know each other. They hadn¡¯t gotten much past second base yet as it was still a pretty weird idea getting it on with an alien.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Well, just because we seem compatible to each other doesn¡¯t quite mean we are,¡± she¡¯d pointed out.


    So some experimenting was in order, but on the good side it did seem like they at least smelled good to each other. No, Cygnus didn¡¯t quite smell like a regular human woman up close, but she did kind of smell alluring while they got into fooling around, even more so when she was the most into it.


    ¡°So food,¡± she said, sounding a bit unsettled when he pointed it out.


    ¡°Comfort food,¡± Iain quickly told her. ¡°One of the best.¡±


    ¡°Huh. Don¡¯t get that very often,¡± Cygnus told him, still sounding undecided if what he¡¯d described was a good thing or not and a sign of how primitive the world he came from was.


    Yeah, there were times he¡¯d say something that caused her to gaze down her nose at him as a primitive who didn¡¯t really have a clue. Yes, that put her about the middle of most of the women he¡¯d known in his life, but still¡­


    Also, for the most part, she didn¡¯t talk at all about her own background, species etc. What he learned about her were things she said off hand during their conversations where she tended to offer up outlandish and often bizarre remarks about her personal experiences, such as when he asked her about her assessment of the Transient Void.


    ¡°No, no,¡± Cygnus had told. ¡°I¡¯ve been on starships that were much creakier than this one. One time, the ship I was on barely made it from the Massatar Stronghold to Bel Anstis. I had to hold the main power line between my teeth for half the trip just to keep the ship in hyperspace.¡±


    She then showed off her sharp-looking chompers, chattered them for a few seconds to make her point.


    ¡°That was an experience,¡± she insisted. ¡°I still get the odd jolt from time to time. I think it permanently reconfigured my nervous system. Or so I¡¯ve been told? Yes, I¡¯ve been told.¡±


    Much of the time he wasn¡¯t sure if she was even telling him the truth, bizarre though this galaxy he¡¯d found himself in seemed. Especially when his ¡®Zos, as randomly as ever, filled his brain with contradictory or alarming information.


    ¡°God the beds are weird in the bunks, right?¡± she¡¯d said to him the first time she¡¯d slept on one. ¡°Reminds me when I slept in the Miris pods. They were Itchy, too. But they were filled with nanoscale needles so you might expect that a little discomfort, but it¡¯s worth it. We should try it out together someday, if I can ever find my way back there.¡±


    Miris pods are the sweetest sleeping experience, soft as down, smooth as silk, the best sleeping experience in the galaxy. You¡¯ll never dream better wrapped up in their cocoon. On the other hand, if you allow them to wrap you up, up in their comfy grip, you might not wake up again. Ever!! ¡®Cause their actually carnivorous and they¡¯ll be digesting ya the whole time!!¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .20 Mimes Ascendant

    He¡¯d stared at her as the warning echoed through is mind.


    ¡°Don¡¯t like needles, Iain?¡± she asked him, obviously catching his disturbed response to her happy memory.


    ¡°Not terribly fond of them,¡± he admitted, then decided it was best to change the subject to something more enjoyable. ¡°But I have tried magic mushrooms.¡±


    ¡°Well imagine, thousands of tiny needled sticking in your skin,¡± Cygnus continued ignoring the first part of his reply and a bit breathlessly as she rubbed her arms. ¡°All over your body. It¡¯s a shock the first time, breath taking really, but after a while it feels natural¡­ and then the hallucinogens hit you and bang, mind expansion.¡±


    ¡°And why did you submit yourself to that?¡± he wanted to know still a little freaked about the kind of acupuncture she was describing.


    ¡°Radiation damage,¡± she said casually, offering a wry smile. ¡°Breakdown on the cellular level. Liquefaction of organs shortly thereafter. It was that or becoming dead, dead, dead¡­ dead.¡±


    She caught his expression again.


    ¡°No? Never happen to you? Never get fried by an gamma burst and have to get treatment, whatever is available?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡± he¡¯d replied. ¡°We don¡¯t¡¯ have any cure for that sort of thing on Earth.¡±


    ¡°Pretty primitive, huh?¡±


    ¡°So I keep being told,¡± he replied.


    When he talked about Earth, even when he showed the pair his radio wave powered cell phone they¡¯d laughed. No nanotechnology. Cygnus continued to scoffed the most. No anti-matter reactors, no space elevators, no robotic revolutions, no runaway greenhouse effects, or grey goo. Even she got into the breathless fun about how self-destructive so many, many civilizations were.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    Iain had, though, sent of a spate of tweets out on his cell phone about how noxious Arl and Arc were, and how he¡¯d believe in all they were describing when he saw it.


    #genocidalaliens was becoming another of his most used hashtags but #snootyalien was showing up more often, but he made those entries when she wasn¡¯t around.


    He wasn¡¯t sure whether planetary destruction was such a sign of a mature civilization, even if the three agreed it was. It did explain why SETI hadn¡¯t picked up anything yet, though. Yet being, of course, twenty two thousand years in the past.


    ¡°No,¡± Arl advised, ¡°Every legitimate civilization destroys their home world. Ours did. Yours, too.¡±


    ¡°You really didn¡¯t have to tell me that,¡± Iain complained. So much for the tweets he was sending. It didn¡¯t stop him. They were his only connection to his past life and he wasn¡¯t ready to let it go.


    After a while, the pair caught on to his expression of distaste.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fill bad, though,¡± Arc added. ¡°After all the Clowns rose from the ashes of the Earth, they spread their seed across the whole arm,¡± Arc said. ¡°And then came the schism, and the Mimes became ascendant, wiped out all the different species of Clowns, then conquered the Seventy Sectors, until their expansion was halted by the Combine.¡±


    They were in the lounge drinking when that subject came up again.


    ¡°Clowns?¡± he asked. ¡°Mimes? You do know that sounds kind of ridiculous? How do you even know they came from Earth anyway?¡±


    ¡°¡®Zos, the collective information from across the universe, remember?¡± Arc replied with his answer for everything, tapping his thick skull for emphasis. ¡°Not to mention how much DNA you share with them. Aren¡¯t your ¡®Zos working properly yet? The should by now.¡±


    Iain shrugged. If Wikipedia was any indication, collectively produced facts weren¡¯t always trustworthy.


    ¡°Apparently not,¡± he¡¯d replied with a grimace. ¡°All I get are random warnings about things that¡¯ll kill me, at least so far. And the things they show me¡­¡±


    ¡°Soon, soon,¡± Arl consoled him with a friendly pat on the shoulder that he naturally flinched from. ¡°That¡¯s how it starts. You¡¯re travelling in a dangerous universe, and, to be fair, you are a bit fragile, even with the upgrades you got from Skipper. Once they figure out you can take care of yourself, they¡¯ll ease up. And then you will know all the gory details. And I do mean gory.¡±


    As if they weren¡¯t gory enough, already.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .21 Clothes!

    Back to Cygnus. And clothing. Or lack thereof. That was a better subject, as far as Iain was concerned.


    So, she¡¯d kept his shirt, and, for the first few days had co-opted the rest of those he¡¯d managed to 3D print. Why? They couldn¡¯t find her clothes, and Skipper had revoked 3D privileges on account of what Arc and Arl had started producing, not that Iain could blame it, given how nasty those weapons they were trying to create. And Cygnus didn¡¯t complain, seemed to prefer the shirts he¡¯d previous replicated for himself.


    ¡°Just getting used to you,¡± she told him.


    The only other clothes which were readily available were the blue and orange coveralls the pair wore and rotated through. Not something Cygnus liked, and Iain wasn¡¯t going to debate that. Neither did she appear bothered when the shortness of some of his shirts on her made him stare when they revealed her ¡®lower decks¡¯.


    ¡°Ugh,¡± had her response to the twin¡¯s offer of sharing their clothes.


    The situation lasted for about a week. And then she ran into the lounge at lunchtime with a stack if blue squares in her hands.


    Iain was trying still trying to teach Arc and Arl how to play chess. It still wasn¡¯t going too well. The two had gotten over their whole confusion over how bishops moved, but they still were completely flummoxed by the concept of castling, not to mention how a pawn became a queen. That was kind of like the problems they had with kinging in checkers. It had made them quite easy to beat, so there was that. When she ran in he had a 185-0 streak going.


    Suddenly, without warning, Arc castled his king, drawing Iain¡¯s attention back to the board.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°Clothes,¡± Cygnus slapped the stack on the table, beside the board. ¡°Wasn¡¯t going to wait any longer so I figured it out. Now.¡±


    Iain looked up from the game that had for the first time in weeks become the least bit interesting.


    ¡°Now?¡± he said. ¡°These guys have finally figured out how to castle. You don¡¯t know how long this has taken.¡±


    Cygnus looked over the board then made twelve moves, for both sides.


    ¡°Checkmate,¡± she said. He¡¯d lost. Iain stared at the board, then looked over at Cygnus. She ignored his dirty look. ¡°Happy. He finally beat you. Now, clothes.¡±


    She pressed a finger into the stack of blue cloth squares on the table, then stripped off his shirt. Iain stared at her, then glanced at Arl who was still grinning at the chessboard. Iain had seen her naked a bunch of times since they¡¯d dismembered her ex. You¡¯ve got to discuss that at some point, he reminded himself again. But she hadn¡¯t demonstrated her birthday suit in the presence of either Arc or Arl before.


    ¡°We¡¯ve got company,¡± Iain told her, at a loss of what to say other than that. Cygnus glanced over at the brother, her longish cornrow hair swinging around as she did.


    Arl gave her a once over, snorted.


    ¡°Nah¡­,¡± Arl offered, giving her a good look. ¡°I¡¯m a cloaca guy. What she¡¯s got just doesn¡¯t work for me. It¡¯s all in one or nothing.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t have a¡­¡± Arc started, then wiggled a hand under his chin. ¡°If you¡¯re going to turn me on, you¡¯re going to need to have a decent wattle as well.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we should take this somewhere else,¡± Iain suggested feeling increasingly embarrassed.


    ¡°Hmmm,¡± Cygnus said, glanced over at the pair, then back at him. ¡°Maybe you¡¯re right. With all those pieces on the table, it could get a bit uncomfortable.¡±


    Iain perked right up at the smirk she was offering him. Had that just been a proposition?


    ¡°We¡¯ll practice while you¡¯re gone,¡± Arl suggested, getting the hint.


    Cygnus grabbed his Iain¡¯s hand, pulled a bit hard.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± she said. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to have some decent clothes again. Don¡¯t forget to grab the material.¡±


    Iain allowed himself to be dragged out of there quite willingly.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .22 Breathing it In

    As he¡¯d pointed out to her before, Cygnus had a certain fragrance about her that was strangely alluring for anyone he¡¯d even dated. Something like the smell of freshly baked French fries, Iain had finally narrowed it down. And he wasn¡¯t sure if this again was something to do with his brain parasites, but at least it was something positive as opposed to the blast of negative he was sure was going to someday give him PTSD.


    Just slightly overbaked. He wasn¡¯t sure how well that worked for him, although he had always like the smell of French fries. Who didn¡¯t? And that was another reminder of something he could never experience again. He¡¯d tried all the food on the ship, or so Skipper had claimed. Nothing remotely potato related was among the choices. Nothing the ship provided came even close.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Cygnus complained, tearing him from his reverie and back to the task at hand while he was enjoying the smell wafting off her. ¡°Pay attention. Your hands are slipping!¡±


    Iain was standing right behind Cygnus, her naked back pressed against him, while he tried to help her put together a functional bra from the squares of clothing she¡¯d provided him. Both of them were trying hard to center the squares properly. And her breasts weren¡¯t exactly like any he¡¯d handled before. Well they were, mostly firm to the touch and when pressed, but every once in a while, a finger would just poke right in for a moment. It was distracting, not to mention a little alarming at times. And, with all the close physical contact involved in putting her new outfit together, he was getting quite aroused despite how she physically wasn¡¯t exactly as human as he normally liked. She had to have noticed that by now.


    ¡°Spread your fingers out,¡± Cygnus ordered in a harder tone. ¡°Or this is going to take all day.¡±


    He did as instructed. She took an alluring breath in and let it out.


    ¡°There, better, now just hold it up.¡±


    She took in another a breath, and leaned back slightly, enough for him to get another whiff of her scent off her neck. Iain took in another deep breath himself.


    ¡°All right,¡± she said sounding more pleased. ¡°Now just bring your hands down slowly, for some support.¡±


    He shifted his hands down, slowly, as instructed.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    ¡°There!¡± She exclaimed. ¡°Programmed and locked. Now the lower part.¡±


    She turned around, the fabric now covering her breasts, and held out him another square of fabric.


    He took it, hesitated a moment.


    ¡°Are you all right?¡± she asked, concern in her voice gain. ¡°You¡¯re producing a more heat than usual.


    She touched his cheek and forehead, while pressing the other square into his hand.


    ¡°You aren¡¯t becoming ill, are you?¡± she asked with a twist her lips.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± he told her. ¡°Really, I am. Quite well.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± she told him offering a flirty smirk. ¡°We¡¯ll do you next. I think you¡¯ll look good with something a bit more form fitting.¡±


    Again, pressing that square felt strange, as through there was something there that wasn¡¯t, and something that wasn¡¯t that he thought he saw. The cognitive dissociation was palpable.


    When she complained again, he tried to explain.


    ¡°It¡¯s tricky,¡± he told her. ¡°You¡¯re not exactly what I¡¯m used to. At least as far as I can see with the ¡®Zos interfering with my perception and everything.¡±


    Cygnus took in a breath, then let it out slowly.


    ¡°You¡¯re new with the whole inter-galactic thing, I get it,¡± she told him, putting her hands on his shoulders gently. Supportive, perhaps. ¡°But if you are going to survive you¡¯d better start adjusting. So here¡¯s a trick you can use.¡±


    She took hold of the wrist of the hand he was holding the square with and slowly, gently moved it between her legs, and then up, until his palm was pressing against her.


    ¡°Now close your eyes,¡± she told him. ¡°It¡¯s easy for the ¡®Zos to trick you when it comes to sight and hearing and especially smell, but touch and taste are a different story. So concentrate on those.¡±


    He closed his eyes. Felt her contours underneath the fabric.


    ¡°Ah,¡± Cygnus replied breathily. ¡°That¡¯s better, just move it a little upwards.¡±


    He did as she said.


    ¡°No,¡± she said sharply. ¡°A little too far.¡±


    He stopped abruptly, then moved the fabric back.


    ¡°Ah, there, there, that¡¯s better,¡± she sighed. Iain could swear he felt a shudder under his fingers. It certainly looked like it she was getting off on this, which he figured could only be good.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Iain asked, not at all certain, considering what he¡¯d felt, even if he hoped it was what he thought it was.


    ¡°It¡¯s good,¡± she told him. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    He opened his eyes, taking a glance at the part of her he¡¯d covered. It looked okay. He stood back up again.


    ¡°You don¡¯t exactly feel the way you look,¡± he confessed.


    Cygnus gave him another one of those left cheek dimple-producing smiles. It faded after a moment.


    ¡°Is that good or bad?¡± she wanted to know.


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to work that out,¡± he admitted. ¡°It¡¯s mostly good.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll get used to it, usually doesn¡¯t take more than a thousand years or so for males of most species,¡± she told him.


    A thousand years?


    ¡°The alternative is spending a very lonely existence out here in the big black,¡± she continued, then reached out and grabbed a couple the loops of his jeans. ¡°Now, your turn.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .23 That Could Be a Problem in Future

    Before he could respond, Cygnus ripped apart his 3D printed jeans and tossed them aside. Holy fuck!


    Then she laughed. It must have been the shocked expression on his face. He was certainly surprised; the jeans had seemed tougher than that.


    ¡°See,¡± she said. ¡°This ship¡¯s printing system is obsolete at best, dangerous at worst. And I¡¯m not even really that strong.¡±


    That¡¯s right, just reach out and touch how soft the flesh of the Porhelian. Warm and pliable to the tough, but don¡¯t let down your guard for a moment, because if you do, she¡¯ll rip your head off!!


    A shiver ran through his entire body, as an image of what looked like a praying mantis flashed In his brain. Iain started thinking seriously about brain surgery.


    ¡°What is it now?¡± Cygnus asked sounding disappointed. ¡°You don¡¯t seem that excited anymore.¡±


    ¡°¡¯Zos,¡± he replied, then cocked his head, trying to get a better look at her, somehow break through what they weren¡¯t showing him about her. ¡°You aren¡¯t actually, like some insect are you?¡±


    She gave him a look like he was crazy and made a noise of disgust.


    ¡°No,¡± she said in such a way it brought him right back to the moment, that he was standing naked in front of a woman who had all the kinds of curves he liked, and seemed more than a little interested in him.


    ¡°Top?¡± she asked, square in hand.


    He shook his head. Then she looked down, then back up again.


    ¡°Oh, there, it¡¯s back, ¡± she said her tone perking up. ¡°I guess that means you don¡¯t really believe what those stupid brain parasites are telling you. That¡¯s good.¡±


    He looked down, then back up.


    ¡°I guess not,¡± he agreed.


    ¡°You¡¯re learning. See, that whole differential between what you see and what you feel isn¡¯t really important is it?¡±This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Iain recognized that speculative look in her eyes, alien or not.


    So he made the leap, leaned over, took a hold of her warm shoulders and kissed her soft lips. She didn¡¯t move away, even responded after a moment. Even her lips, and her tongue, or tongues? And her taste was like, what? Sweet and sour sauce? He didn¡¯t really want to stop exploring, but eventually he needed to take a breath. When they stopped she still had that look in her eyes.


    ¡°I can¡¯t argue with you,¡± he admitted. ¡°Screw the parasites.¡±


    ¡°Then I guess I should finally get to finally get to what Orwon so rudely interrupted,¡± she told him with a grin, her cool touch making him shiver again. ¡°We¡¯re certainly not going to get your clothes on properly until that is dealt with.¡±


    The she stepped back, clapped her hands and what he¡¯d spent so much time putting on her put on fell off.


    ¡°That could be a problem in future,¡± he told her.


    ¡°Not really. my claps have that particular aural resonance only when I want them to,¡± she told him, demonstrating another clap that reformed the squares back into a top and tights. ¡°I think you¡¯ve gotten the hang of putting them together now, so let¡¯s work on some biology, eh?¡±


    The sex was awesome, if disconcertingly freaky at times. Again, the cognitive dissonance between what he saw and felt got in the way if he kept his eyes open. Eventually Iain just closed his eyes and went with it. It was better that way, even if her muscles and bones under her skin didn¡¯t quite match where he thought they would be. Stranger still, she was the first to fall asleep. Still her body did feel warm as it cuddled next to his. And soft.


    No way at all she was some alien insect.


    His sub-conscious responded in kind, shifts of different sex dreams dominated, re-enforcing the pleasure he¡¯d only just experienced.


    When Iain woke up, their positions had changed. She was on top, straddling him, looking down at his face, her cornrows swaying slightly as she breathed. Actually, now that he was conscious, he could feel she was shaking him by the shoulders gently as she straddled him.


    ¡°¡¯So, you mean what you said?¡± she asked.


    Iain stared up at her confused.


    ¡°Which? What?¡± he asked. Maybe he was still dreaming, or distracted by the fact she hadn¡¯t put on any clothes yet.


    ¡°You were just talking,¡± she told him.


    ¡°I was asleep,¡± he told her. ¡°I must have been talking in my sleep. I do that sometimes¡­¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± she asked, clearly not convinced. ¡°You sounded like you were wide awake.¡±


    He reached out to stroke her thigh.


    ¡°What did I say?¡± he asked.


    She leaned down and her rather warm body pressed against him. Again that scent of her filled his nostrils as her cheek brushed his.


    ¡°You want to get off this ship,¡± Cygnus whispered hotly in his ear. ¡°And get the hell away from those crazy birdbrains and that psychotic Skipper that runs this ship. You seemed very insistent.¡±


    ¡°I guess,¡± he agreed. ¡°Wait, was that what I actually said?¡±


    Had he called the Skipper psychotic? Could it have heard him?


    ¡°Yes you did, and that¡¯s good,¡± she breathed, ignoring the question. ¡°Because I do too.¡±


    Then she pushed back up, slapped his chest.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get dressed and get to it,¡± she added.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .24 I Asked

    ¡°You two all right?¡± Arl asked as they joined the pair for what could have been breakfast, maybe lunch or even a midnight snack.


    Iain had lost all sense of time on the ship, not to mention he had no idea how long they spent having sex or how long they¡¯d slept afterwards. There didn¡¯t seem to be any clocks on the ship that measured anything in time units smaller than years. And given what Cygnus was suggesting, it might not be a good idea to bring Skipper into the conversation.


    ¡°Just well clothed,¡± Cygnus offered and swirled around in the form-fitting outfit Iain had almost literally slapped on her.


    Their re-clothing had gone faster that time, and almost disappointingly did not lead to another session in bed. His claps did not appear to be nearly as effective as hers. Maybe one line of squares loosened a bit around his waist that seemed a bit tight.


    ¡°Hold the applause until I¡¯ve finished my act,¡± she¡¯d replied with a frown at the lack of response.


    The effort had whetted their appetites, though. Iain had a hankering for some French fries, but that wasn¡¯t going to happen, he knew. And he shook out the sudden impulse he¡¯d had of biting Cygnus to see how that tasted.


    No, not in front of Arl and Arc, anyways.


    Thinking about the sex they¡¯d had was at times unsettling enough, some of the sensations anyway. He decided actually biting her would be going a bit too far, at least not without asking first.


    ¡°Nah, they just hooked up,¡± Arc figured out. ¡°I checked. ¡°They¡¯re compatible. You know¡­¡±


    He made a rude gesture and familiar gesture with his fingers.


    ¡°You should try it some time,¡± Cygnus said while she ate. ¡°You two are missing out.¡±


    Arl offered a disgusted look.


    ¡°Oh, no,¡± he replied. ¡°I tried it. Didn¡¯t like it at all. Rubbing is as far as my pleasure threshold permits. Sticking parts in parts, that¡¯s for the unevolved.¡±Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Sharing digested food is better anyways,¡± Arc said. ¡°Have you tried that? It is the most intense experience.¡±


    Cygnus spat out what she was eating.


    Iain broke out laughing. He couldn¡¯t help himself.


    That, however, earned him a dirty look from her.


    Shit.


    He wasn¡¯t really sure yet what kind of sense of humor she had. Women could be touchy, he knew well. Alien women? Who the fuck knew.


    ¡°That¡¯s hardly digested at all,¡± Arc complained looking at what Cygnus had spat out on the table. He ran his hand down from lips to belly. ¡°You have to swallow it, let it sit for a while, dissolve, mingle, marinate, then regurgitate.¡±


    The two aliens stared at each other, until Arc shrugged, returned to his own ¡®meal¡¯.


    Cygnus looked over at Iain, who was staring, not knowing whether she should laugh or look disgusted in sympathy. Cygnus wiped her lips, then let out a half-breath half-chuckle.


    ¡°Somethings disgust even me, and that¡¯s saying a lot,¡± she offered.


    ¡°Snob,¡± the pair offered in unison, then began downing a large amount of food in response.


    ¡°I think we¡¯re going to have to get out of here before they really start up,¡± Iain advised. ¡°Or take our food with us.¡±


    Not that he¡¯d actually done that yet.


    Cygnus shoveled some random food onto a plate and passed it over to him.


    ¡°Better eat up,¡± she advised. ¡°Skipper doesn¡¯t like people taking food out of the dining area. Says it attracts vermin.¡±


    ¡°How do you know that?¡± he asked. ¡°And wait, there are vermin on this ship?¡±


    The idea was disconcerting. What kind of vermin would infest an alien starship? Visions of a couple old sci-fi movies flickered through his thoughts. Space herpes maybe?


    ¡°I asked,¡± she replied.


    ¡°And it answered?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she told him. ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t get it to answer half my questions,¡± he complained. That was true. Skipper was almost as randomly and disconcertingly uninforming as his ¡®Zos.


    ¡°You just have to learn to ask nicely,¡± she replied, her lips curled into a knowing smile.


    ¡°I have asked nicely,¡± Iain insisted.


    He¡¯s said please almost every time.


    Cygnus leaned over and patted his cheek.


    ¡°There¡¯s nice, and then there¡¯s nice,¡± she said. And then completely unexpectedly, she kissed him.


    ¡°Really,¡± Arl complained in mid chew. ¡°Please, don¡¯t do that in front of us. We¡¯re eating. Have some couth.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Arc added between open-mouth munches. ¡°And some decorum.¡±


    When she was done she pulled back, still smiling.


    ¡°That whet your appetite?¡±


    Iain shook himself back into reality. He didn¡¯t really want to.


    ¡°Kind of,¡± he replied, nodding.


    ¡°Good,¡± she told him. ¡°Now finish up, so we can get out of here before things get ugly.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .25 What’s Your Lifespan Again?

    There was an inkling in Ian¡¯s mind as he followed Cygnus down into the unmonitored decks of the Transient Void. They¡¯d made the trek a few times over the past week or so, to both ensure the Skipper wouldn¡¯t overhear them as they discussed in detail their plans to find a way off the starship. It was like something he wanted to talk about but just wasn¡¯t forcing itself to the surface.


    On impulse, once they were off the ladder, he grabbed her arm and pulled her too him. She smiled and he kissed her. Cygnus responded enthusiastically and they were occupied for a while. Iain had gotten more used to how her body worked and responded to his. It was getting less strange. And was still certainly just as hot, perhaps even hotter. And she was pretty warm,


    ¡°Where now?¡± he asked after they¡¯d finished and had been cuddling for a while.


    ¡°We¡¯ve mapped out most of these levels,¡± she told him gathering her clothes back up and tossed him his to get dressed again. ¡°One of these main access corridors has to lead us to where we need to go.¡±


    ¡°Are you certain this ship even has a shuttle?¡± Iain asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like the passenger decks have any lifeboats.¡±


    That was true enough. The Transient Void¡¯s lifeboat pods that he had come across were all conspicuously empty. He¡¯d thought about what might happen if the ship hit a big ass comet, asteroid or something similar, but then there might have been some damage and he¡¯d never found any sign of an impact during his own previous walkabouts.


    ¡°There¡¯s only one way to find out,¡± she told him. ¡°Keep exploring.¡±


    So again, the worked their way back through the chilly and creepy halls filled with the frozen bodies of the ships many alien passengers/abductees.


    ¡°Do you think we should defrost any more of these?¡± he wondered aloud as they passed some more humanoid looking corpsicles. ¡°To help out, or¡­¡±


    Cygnus made an unenthusiastic noise.


    ¡°No,¡± she replied. ¡°Who knows what kind of menagerie Skipper has collected over the millennia. They might be dangerous, antagonistic, or just plain stupid. You know, like Orwon.¡±


    ¡°They might be like you,¡± Iain offered more enthusiastically.


    That made her laugh.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Getting tired of me already?¡± she wanted to know.


    ¡°No, no!¡± he protested. ¡°Not in the slightest.¡±


    ¡°Good. That would be embarrassing. Besides, I don¡¯t¡¯ need any competition,¡± she replied with a smirk. ¡°I have enough already, believe me. Come on, it looks like the in craft bay might be there up ahead.¡±


    At the far end of the freezer compartment, they discovered a long moving slidewalk. Another reminder to Iain that the ship felt like an airport¡­ in space.


    ¡°These things always lead somewhere,¡± she told him and stepped onto the slidewalk. He followed. Time passed.


    They¡¯d been walking along the sliding floor for a while, maybe for an hour. How big was this ship? Iain wondered. They¡¯d seem to have been going on for a good kilometer. It must be huge.


    ¡°Where exactly are we heading, do you think?¡± he asked


    ¡°If we¡¯re in luck, a fully stocked shuttle bay,¡± she told him.


    ¡°And if we aren¡¯t?¡± Iain asked, feeling hope rise ever so slightly.


    She offered a noncommittal shrug.


    ¡°A completely empty shuttle bay, or maybe the engines, depending on how this ship is constructed.¡± she replied, then smiled as she looked ahead. ¡°Hey, we¡¯re almost here.¡±


    She was right. There did seem to be a wall slowly coming their way. And it featured large hatch, which appeared to be closed and gave the impression of being sealed.


    ¡°Gonna need some help here,¡± Cygnus suggested, then pointed to the side of the circular hatch. ¡°I think there¡¯s some sort of manual override in the floor. There usually is.


    ¡°That wheel you mean?¡± Iain pointed out the device through one of several gaps in the deck.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she replied, let out a breath. ¡°Sorry, my brain only registers technology that¡¯s only so primitive, you know?¡±


    Together they pulled on the wheel until there was a click and the large door opened with a hiss of air and an audible metallic creaking noise. Momentarily he found it strange such a mechanical device would exist on such an advanced space ship, but clearly the builders weren¡¯t so advanced as Cygnus¡¯ civilization must be even if they were light-years ahead of 21<sup>st</sup> century Earth.


    Iain forgot about that quickly enough as he and Cygnus were greeted with what existed beyond the hatch. Beyond them was a large wide chamber, glittering with lights that shone down on what looked like maybe shuttle sized space ships if all the sci-fi TV and movies were any authority. There were exactly two parked in the bay.


    Cygnus dragged him back as he moved to step forwards.


    ¡°Uh-uh,¡± she told him. ¡°That section is under Skipper¡¯s surveillance.¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡± he asked.


    She raised a pair of braided eyebrows.


    ¡°I asked,¡± she said.


    ¡°What now?¡± Iain wanted to know. ¡°Wait. You knew there was a shuttle bay. I thought you said-¡±


    She placed a finger on his lips.


    ¡°Of course. It told me there was a shuttle bay,¡± she said. ¡°It just didn¡¯t tell me where it was or how to find it or how to get into it. Our next problem to work out will be based on the likelihood neither of those shuttles will have much range, probably only a few light years at best. We have to wait until we get close to an interstellar civilization or some spaceship convoy.¡±


    ¡°How long could that take?¡± Iain wanted to know.


    She shrugged, then turned her speculative gaze on him again, narrowing those alluring orange eyes at him.


    ¡°What¡¯s your lifespan again?¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .26 It’s Not Going to be Dangerous

    ¡°That still leaves a long time frame, potentially,¡± Iain suggested. ¡°Do you think we can get to this before I¡¯m fifty?¡±


    ¡°How long will that be,¡± Cygnus asked.


    ¡°Twenty years,¡± Iain told her. ¡°give or take.¡±


    She just turn to him and stared, like he¡¯d just said something incredibly adorable, like a fluffy puppy.


    ¡°Oh¡­ you¡¯re so young,¡± she told him.


    ¡°And exactly how old are you?¡± Iain asked, having noticed her patronizing tone.


    Cygnus waved a dismissive hand.


    ¡°Never mind that,¡± she told him. ¡°Let¡¯s go back and start getting this plan in order.¡±


    Maybe it wasn¡¯t going to take twenty years. Cygnus seemed excited enough about finding the way to the shuttlecraft to want to get the plan in gear immediately. Once they were back on the slidewalk, she started up again.


    ¡°We have two problems to solve before we can even think about getting on one of those shuttles,¡± she told him, then tapped a finger on an upraised hand. ¡°One, the Skipper had to be distracted in some way, or we won¡¯t be able to get the bay outer doors open. And when we do, there has to be something out there worthwhile enough to get to.¡±


    A few light years¡­ up until a few weeks ago, that was strictly in the realm of science fiction for Iain. He just nodded.


    ¡°We seem to be well above the galaxy,¡± Iain told her. ¡°When I was defrosted the twins showed me where we were. Up above a galactic arm. Maybe hundreds or even thousands of light years if it was a window and not a screen of some kind.


    It had looked pretty real to him.


    Cygnus extended her arms and seemed to be feeling the air with her fingers.


    ¡°Feels like we¡¯re still in near intergalactic space,¡± she decided, then lowered her arms back down. ¡°But there¡¯s still plenty of civilizations in the clusters, I remember. And that was some time ago, so they may have spread out a bit. It¡¯s so hard to keep track.¡±If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    She paused a moment, expression turning speculative.


    ¡°If they haven¡¯t wiped themselves out,¡± she amended, then turned to him with a smile on her lips. ¡°But let¡¯s not go with glass is completely drunk and smashed on the floor, right? We¡¯ll just have to see what the ship¡¯s trajectory is and what¡¯s close by. We could get lucky.¡±


    ¡°How are we going to find that out?¡± Iain asked. ¡°Get another look out a window?¡±


    ¡°That probably won¡¯t help,¡± Cygnus told him. ¡°We¡¯ll probably need a tour of the bridge, get a look at some actual data.¡±


    ¡°How easy is that going to be?¡±he wanted to know. ¡°I¡¯ve asked Skipper about that. Five times. It never answers.¡±


    ¡°You just have to use the right technique,¡± Cygnus advised, then went back to that speculative look of hers. ¡°It will depend on how easy Skipper is to seduce.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to seduce the computer program that runs a starship?¡±


    She gave him a look.


    ¡°Everything that can think has desires,¡± she told him with a wink. ¡°Even a synthetic intelligence.¡±


    Iain wasn¡¯t sure how to feel about just how she said that. Weirded out again? Jealous maybe? He wasn¡¯t sure.


    When they got back to the cryopod chamber they found an alcove and made out for a while. That eased his budding jealousy, but even afterwards, Iain still found he was concerned.


    ¡°It¡¯s not going to be dangerous is it?¡± he asked. ¡°Tricking the Skipper into giving away that information?¡±


    She patted his cheek, took his hand, then squeezed it.


    ¡°Probably not for you,¡± she said.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure that makes me feel any better,¡± he told her. ¡°I¡¯m just getting to know you.¡±


    She gave him a smile. For a moment it appeared a little condescending.


    ¡°Oh, I doubt I would have lasted this long if I couldn¡¯t outwit a tri-meson brain or two.¡±


    ¡°Again,¡± Iain couldn¡¯t help asking, ¡°How-?¡±


    She stopped and put a finger on his lips again.


    ¡°Hush for now, I¡¯m thinking,¡± she told him, leaning against a frozen case holding a multi-limbed figure silhouetted under the layer of frost. Iain could feel the cold from where he was, but Cygnus didn¡¯t seem to be bothered at all.


    Then she stood right up, her face aglow. Before he could respond, she¡¯d pulled him up to his feet as well.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got it!¡± she told him. And then she gave him a strange look.


    ¡°What are you thinking?¡± he asked.


    She smiled and took his arm in hers.


    ¡°It¡¯s probably going to work out all right,¡± she told him. ¡°Although I¡¯ll need your help.¡±


    ¡°Again, is this going to be dangerous?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Not unless Skipper works itself into a really spiteful mood,¡± she told him. ¡°But I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t. We¡¯re a friendly pair of consentient passengers. We can charm our way right off this ship and have Skipper thank us for our efforts. Or at least me.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .27 Eyes Hurt

    ¡°Your main screen is so big!¡± Cygnus squealed, hugging him tight as they looked out the wide image of deep space, ¡°Isn¡¯t it Iain?¡±


    He turned back from the bank of controls she had nudged him to glance over at. He had no idea what the readouts, holograms and buttons meant or did. Iain sighed, then shuddered as he turned back to the big screen the dominated the vast vaulted chamber. This wasn¡¯t like the tiny TV stage sets or cramped shots of the ISS and other human built spacecraft control rooms he was more familiar with. The bridge of the Transient Void was cavernous, and from the number of chairs, looked like it could have had a crew of hundreds, once upon a time. Could some of them even be frozen below decks? Or had they bugged out on the lifeboats ages ago?


    ¡°It¡¯s quite amazing,¡± he forced out, could even hear a bit of an echo call back to him. ¡°Big as an Imax, really.¡±


    IMAX? Skipper asked.


    ¡°A really, really, big screen,¡± he said. ¡°Biggest screens we have back at home on Earth. Or did. Along time-¡±


    Cygnus caught on quickly, cut off his awkward reminiscing.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°Give us a show Skipper. I want to see what the universe out here looks like through your eyes.¡±


    I have the capacity of viewing across all electromagnetic wavelengths, it stated, sounding reluctant to put on such a display. You are merely a limited organic life form. You can¡¯t possibly appreciate such a display. Especially not as we are currently phase-skipping.


    ¡°Nonsense,¡± Cygnus insisted. ¡°What you find beautiful, I¡¯ll find beautiful.¡±


    Then she elbowed him in the ribs, and added under her breath, ¡°you¡¯d better look away from this, preferably towards the navigational boards over there. And memorize whatever you see.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m looking at,¡± Iain whispered back. ¡°Even if I memorize what I see, I won¡¯t know what any of it means.¡±The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter,¡± she told him, ¡°We¡¯ll get the extract the images later. Trust me you don¡¯t want to see what¡¯s coming from the big screen.¡±


    Extract the images?


    He was going to ask Cygnus what she meant by ¡®extract¡¯, but she¡¯d already turned away and was addressing the ship¡¯s Skipper.


    ¡°Please?¡± she pleaded. ¡°Just a little look. A few seconds. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    Very well, the Skipper replied. But only a few seconds. I do not wish to cause you grievous harm.


    Iain could swear he still heard her screams echoing down the ship¡¯s corridors hours later.


    He had been able to find some fabric to wad up into a sponge later and press them gently over her burned, blood read eyes after they made their way back to the passenger deck and their quarters.


    ¡°You should go to the infirmary and get that looked at,¡± he suggested. ¡°I was fixed up pretty good there.¡±


    ¡°No, we can¡¯t do that,¡± Cygnus whimpered. ¡°For one thing, I like my eyes the way they are. And for another, Skipper won¡¯t worry about either you or me trying anything. Just keep doing what you¡¯re doing.¡±


    And so he continued padding her injury.


    ¡°Gently. eyes hurt,¡± she forced out, gripping his thigh with her hand as he worked to soother what she had described as a bit of a flash fry of gamma and x-rays on the outer layers of both her eyes. ¡°oh¡­ that¡¯s better.¡±


    ¡°How bad is it?¡± he asked. ¡°That didn¡¯t do permanent damage, did it? I mean the pain, the blindness, that¡¯s just temporary, right?¡±


    God, that would be an awful consequence for getting what was needed to escape the Transient Void


    ¡°Oh yes,¡± she told him in a strained voice. ¡°They will get better in a few hours, maybe have an afterglow for a few days after that. I do this from time to time anyway to remind myself how good I¡¯ve got it, being what I am. Sometimes I need that lesson.¡±


    ¡°Then I guess I have to thank you for telling me not to look into naked multi-phase space then.¡±


    He still felt bad about letting her suffer alone for it.


    Her grip on his thigh loosen a bit, then grip hard again when he pressed on her other eye.


    While he was soaking the eye, he leaned over to her ear, speaking in a whisper.


    ¡°Did you at see anything recognizable, anyplace nearby we can get to?¡±


    ¡°U-huh,¡± she whispered into his ear in response. ¡°I think we might be passing through an inhabited region of space, a binary star cluster within the next few days. I can make sure with a short-term memory brain scan on you. There are plenty of sleep capsules down below that will be able to do the job. Once I get a confirmation,¡± she clapped her hands, her clothes not falling off this time. ¡°We¡¯ll be able to begin plan A.¡±


    Iain let out a sigh of relief at that confirmation, feeling Cygnus shiver in response.


    ¡°Oh, do that again,¡± she breathed. ¡°It tickles.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .28 Maybe You Should Drive

    ¡°Are you sure you are ready?¡± Iain asked Cygnus as they dressed for their escape. Iain decided to pull on his leather jacket. He didn¡¯t want to leave it behind as there was so little of his past life that he had been abducted with. He checked his pocket to make sure he had his wallet, keys, smartphone. ¡°Your vision still doesn¡¯t seem that great.¡±


    It had been thirty-six hours and, while Cygnus¡¯ eyes had visibly healed, she still seemed to be behaving as though everything around her was a blur. They¡¯d had a little trouble getting down to one of the unmonitored decks for what they¡¯d intimated loudly to the Skipper, Arc and Arl was a little nookie. Well, they were going to do that, too. Why not?


    ¡°Nonsense, I can see perfectly well.¡±


    She was lying, obviously.


    As a perfect example, she seemed to be having trouble with her top, and about to put it on backwards. Iain helped her turn the thing around.


    ¡°We should wait,¡± he decided. ¡°Just a few more hours.¡±


    ¡°No, we can¡¯t wait any longer,¡± Cygnus insisted, offering him that unfocused stare she¡¯d been giving ever since stating she could see again. ¡°This ship is moving at about two hundred cee at the moment. And we are going to only skim the Lesser Xemorian Bubble for a few hours. Wait any longer and it could be years before we pass another inhabited region, maybe decades depending on where this ship is headed. Do you really want to wait decades for your next chance?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Iain admitted.


    There, her top was on properly.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine, sweetie,¡± she reached to pat his cheek, he directed her palm to the proper place. ¡°Really. At least by the time we¡¯re off the ship. Or a week or two at the most.¡±


    She then spent a few moments re-adjusting her top, then held her hands out in front of here.


    ¡°How many do you see?¡± Iain asked her.


    ¡°Twelve,¡± she offered smiling, then looked over at him. ¡°Oh, sorry, how many do you see?¡±Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    ¡°Ten,¡± he told her.


    ¡°I guess that¡¯s as good a number as any,¡± she replied. ¡°Oh, you only have ten. That explains a few things.¡±


    Cygnus got up then and started towards the door, seemed to be veering to the right towards a pod. Iain grabbed her arm to stop her.


    ¡°Careful,¡± he advised. ¡°Are you really sure?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely,¡± she insisted, and kept going. ¡°But, maybe you should drive.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± he asked ¡°Drive a space shuttle? I¡¯ve never even piloted anything more complex than a Ford!¡±


    Iain directed her again through an archway.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s easy,¡± she told him. ¡°I¡¯ve piloted ones like we saw in the bay. They¡¯ll have an automatic pilot, and the controls on shuttles match to a pilot¡¯s expectations, training, and physiology. You know, it¡¯s not just you when you try something for the third time and it works. It¡¯s the shuttle conforming to you. Those models are supposed to be accommodating. Very accommodating.¡±


    ¡°Supposed to be?¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she replied. ¡°Why else would anyone create synthetic intelligences to be anything other than helpful?¡±


    Iain could imagine a few reasons.


    ¡°Then why doesn¡¯t Skipper conform to that and take us where we want,¡± Iain wanted to know.


    ¡°Probably because it¡¯s broken,¡± she told him. ¡°I mean, a few hundred thousands of years out in the blackness all alone, anyone could lose a few screws, even literally with all the superspatial resonance out here. I bet this ship loses a few kilos into the void every year. It¡¯s a wonder it¡¯s still airtight. Oh, wait just a moment, someone is listening.¡±


    ¡°Who?¡± Ian asked as she stopped. Cygnus didn¡¯t look around like he¡¯d expected. She just looked up and rolled her eyes, then winced.


    ¡°Nobody,¡± she replied. ¡°You know how some people are just sensitive about their life choices?¡±


    He stopped, stared at her. Was she flipping out? Now? And her voice had changed, almost as though she had applied a bit of a chorus, or reverb.


    ¡°Are we going to do this right here, right now?¡± Cygnus complained, staring down a dark corridor. Then she let out a breath.


    ¡°Um¡­ Cygnus,¡± Iain asked, then moved around to look intently into her face. It didn¡¯t seem like she was looking back at him at all. ¡°Are you all right?¡±


    ¡°Of course we are,¡± she insisted. Was she talking to him at all?


    Then she grabbed his arm, and began walking toward the back of the freezer compartment. ¡°No one in this reality is second guessing us. So don¡¯t worry about it. Come on, we¡¯ve got to do this now. Our window won¡¯t be open long!¡±


    Ian resisted for a moment, then allowed her to pull him along. Clearly Cygnus wanted to get of the Transient Void at least as much as he did. He decided he could go with that. Even if she had her occasional, seemingly psychotic moments. He figured he¡¯d known her long enough to know they weren¡¯t dangerous, just maybe it was her way of dealing with stress. She was an alien after all, he reminded himself. And those moments seemed mostly harmless.


    When they reached the shuttle bay, she stopped for a moment, looked like she was trying to focus.


    ¡°What now?¡± he wanted to know.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .29 How Would I F#@k With You?

    ¡°Which one looks best to you?¡± she asked. ¡°I mean safest, you know, in the most space worthy condition?¡±


    Did he know anything about space worthiness? One of them did look cleaner, less rusty and wasn¡¯t missing a wing.


    ¡°I think the one on the right,¡± he suggested. Yes, it definitely was the same model, just with two wings, one on each side.


    ¡°Good,¡± Cygnus replied. ¡°It¡¯s closer too. Are you ready with the distraction?¡±


    ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s going to work?¡±


    Iain had his doubts. Sure, she¡¯d gone over it more than once, but it seemed to him a ludicrous plan, and not at all what she thought it was.


    ¡°Computers can¡¯t resist a logic puzzle,¡± she told him, smiling again. ¡°Go over to the intercom.¡±


    When he didn¡¯t move, she pushed him.


    ¡°Okay, okay¡± he said, went over to the intercom and pressed the green button.


    ¡°Skipper¡­¡± he started. He felt like an idiot.


    Hello Iain, Skipper said. Where are you?


    ¡°Around,¡± Iain offered what sounded rather lame.


    Around what?


    ¡°Eighty kilos,¡± he told it.


    Are you fucking with me? The voice asked. That¡¯s exactly how Cygnus said it would respond.


    She¡¯d stepped up to him, hand lightly gripping his shoulder as she edged up to put her mouth by his right ear.


    ¡°Keep going,¡± she whispered, patted his shoulder, then started to run for the shuttle.


    ¡°Are you fucking with me?¡± Iain asked a little awkwardly still not understanding how this was going to work. Weren¡¯t you supposed to use math or actual logic to screw up AIs? Trolling just didn''t seem... worth even trying.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    At the moment, I am not sure, Skipper replied. Do you want me to?


    ¡°If you were fucking with me, how would you do it?¡± He asked.


    Wait, Skipper said, I am dedicating more resources to this. How would I fuck with you?


    ¡°Yes Skipper,¡± Iain said, grinning despite himself. ¡°Just how would you fuck with me? Think about it.¡±


    How would I fuck with you? Skipper said sounding intellectually enthused, interested and focused. Oh, I know, wait no that, at least not to start with. Ah yes¡­


    Iain glanced across the shuttle bay. Cygnus had crossed it and was now opening the shuttle¡¯s rear hatch. The huge bay bulkhead doors were beginning to open, revealing the black space beyond. She started waving at him. He started running. the voice of the skipper echoing after him.


    So many choices, so many choices, so many choices¡­ Hey wait, I know what you are doing. Stop. You can¡¯t do that.


    He jumped into the shuttle and Cygnus sealed the hatch behind him. It clamped shut with clank and a pneumatic hiss. He hesitated for a moment. That had not sounded the least bit airtight.


    ¡°Get to the controls,¡± she ordered and then said to the air. ¡°Autopilot activate!¡±


    Autopilot activating, a nervous sounding synthetically male voice responded. What can I do for you?


    ¡°Um¡­¡± Iain started as he got into what looked like the pilots seat behind a console featuring a dizzying array of screens, switches, buttons and keys. There were two, no three that might fit the bill. Or were at least the most obvious controls.


    ¡°Start engines,¡± Iain commanded ¡°Take off, head out the bay door into space.¡±


    The craft didn¡¯t take off. It didn¡¯t even start up.


    Iain glanced back at Cygnus, panicked. He pointed at the different controls laid out in front of him.


    ¡°Pick one,¡± she offered in exasperation, still looking out the hatchway windows. ¡°Hurry, the bay doors are starting to close!¡±


    Iain chose a joystick on the right side of the panel, pulled on it. He was left handed. This was going to be a rough ride. Straps immediately bound him to the chair.


    ¡°What¡¯s taking so long?¡± Cygnus asked from right behind him. ¡°We really don¡¯t have much time!¡±


    I¡¯m not programmed for take-offs, the autopilot warned. This may not be pleasant. I just thought I¡¯d warn you. For-


    ¡°Just do it!¡± he yelled, and was instantly pressed back into his seat.


    There was a shout of surprise and then a thudding noise coming from the rear compartment.


    Iain tried, but couldn¡¯t turn his head from the bright lights streaming towards him as the shuttle shot out into space.


    ¡°Cygnus!¡± he called back, hoping that she hadn¡¯t been hurt.


    He thought he heard a moan somewhere inside the roar of the shuttles engines.


    ¡°Cygnus, are you all right?!¡± Iain yelled.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he thought he heard her weakly reply.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .30 Veer Left

    Iain was trying to turn so he could at least see how Cygnus was doing. He wasn¡¯t given the opportunity, however, because he the next thing he knew he was pressed into the seat as the shuttle accelerated, and had to close his eyes hard to block the brilliance exploding towards them in streaks of what seemed to be thousand watt lights. Another thunk followed by another groan came from the rear compartment.


    Even closed, the back of his eyelids burned the brightest yellow he¡¯d ever seen, and it felt like a truck was resting on his chest.


    ¡°Get a hold of that thing!¡± he heard Cygnus shout from somewhere behind him. ¡°We could be going in the wrong direction.¡±


    That would be bad, yes.


    ¡°Um, yeah¡­¡± Iain forced out, then relaxed as the acceleration eased.


    He stared at the controls before him. They were unrecognizable as anything he could work, or at least know he could work, other than the joystick.


    Iain grabbed the thick stick and turned it slightly, feeling significant resistance in the effort. The stream of light twisted and swirled. How the hell was he supposed to find the star cluster they were looking for in the swirling glare? Oddly enough, he didn¡¯t get dizzy or lose his lunch. But that was mostly because by the time he was considering that he realized he¡¯s closed his eyes as tight as possible.


    I think we are in a spin, the autopilot offered in helpful tone. Is that what you want?


    ¡°No!¡± Iain shouted. ¡°I want us going in a straight line towards the Lesser Xemorian Bubble.¡±


    I think you¡¯re going about it the wrong way, the voice offered in a tentative tone.


    ¡°What should I do then?¡± he demanded.


    Be gentle, was the response. Once you¡¯ve stabilized our trajectory you can point the shuttle anywhere you would like to.


    ¡°I thought you were the autopilot,¡± he complained. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be controlling things after takeoff?¡±


    I believe ¡®was the autopilot¡¯ is the correct terminology, the voice replied. I don¡¯t appear to be able to control much of anything, I am afraid. I¡¯m sorry if you are finding that inconvenient. My last round of maintenance was seventy-four thousand years ago.


    Iain swore, then followed the autopilots advice, eased a bit off on the force he was putting into the stick. The brightness trying to burn a hole through his eyelids faded a bit, to more of a bright green. He peaked out through his right eye, though just a crack. There was a rainbow shooting at him through the screen in front of him.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ¡°Is that better?¡± he wondered aloud.


    That¡¯s much better, the voice said. You done this before, haven¡¯t you?


    The tone of the synthetic voice made Iain feel for a moment that he was involved in kind of dirty, but he decided to just not think about it further. As Skipper had proved, being a bit perverted came with the AI territory. And if the shuttle hadn¡¯t been flown in millennia its AI couldn¡¯t be blamed for getting a bit lonely. So he gave the response he figured he should and held on.


    ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°This is my first space shuttle.¡±


    Hell, I¡¯m an astronaut!


    You¡¯re doing fine now, the voice assured him. Why don¡¯t you try using both hands. And relax. We¡¯re in no imminent danger of collision. Not this far above the Geffe Arm.


    Great, now he had something more to worry about. Iain, for a moment, thought about how fast they must be still going. Faster than light, they had to be.


    As it turned out, the autopilot was spot on. it wasn¡¯t so difficult once he grasped the control stick with both hands, although it meant he was straining against the straps holding him to the chair. The streams of white light stopped swirling, straightened out completely. The pressure he was experiencing faded almost completely even as Iain keep his full attention on what was ahead of him..


    He felt a hand on his shoulder.


    ¡°Got the hang of it, did you?¡± Cygnus asked from behind his right ear.


    He turned to her. She looked okay, although she seem to be favoring her left leg and did wince when the shuttle shuddered while he looked.


    ¡°Want to take over?¡± he offered.


    She shook her head.


    ¡°No, everything is still a little fuzzy,¡± she admitted, blinking rapidly. ¡°I¡¯d probably fly us straight into a supernova.¡±


    Yeah, that would end their trip real quick, came to mind from out of nowhere. Then Cygnus pointed to the right. Between some shooting lights, there was a spot peppered of bright points.


    ¡°That¡¯s where we want to go,¡± she told him. ¡°That binary star cluster. It¡¯s home to a few civilizations we could make use of.¡±


    He adjusted the stick just a touch, and the round collection of condensed lights swung over to the center of the screen. He squeezed the control again, and the stars locked, dead center.


    ¡°It¡¯s getting pretty easy,¡± he said smiling. ¡°You were right. It seems I¡¯m pretty good at this after all.¡±


    And you said you¡¯ve never done this before, the autopilot offered in a disbelieving yet coy tone. So modest.


    Then the whole shuttle shuddered again hard. Cygnus yelped and her fingers dug into his shoulder as she tried to stay upright.


    ¡°Uh, oh,¡± she said, then pointed past his shoulder at the side screens, which, from the directions the stars were flying, were their view of what was behind them. To make that even more clear, dominating them was what appeared to be a gargantuan starship growing in size by the moment. It seemed rather asymmetrical from the outside, surprising Iain. And it did kind of look like an Airport. George Bush International in particular. Or maybe JFK. Huh.


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose we can wave it past,¡± he hoped.


    The shuttle shuddered again.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s trying to catch us in a tractor beam,¡± Cygnus offered, hanging on for dear life.


    Iain grew anxious.


    ¡°Are we fucked then?¡± he asked, remembering all the sci-fi he¡¯d watched. ¡°Or can we get out of range, maybe?¡±


    ¡°Probably not if we¡¯re feeling this kind of resonance,¡± she stated. ¡°My guess is The Transient Void¡¯s tractor beams aren¡¯t at 100%.¡±


    ¡°Any suggestions then?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Veer left.¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .31 You can Catch it, I Know You Can

    ¡°But I¡¯ll lose the lock on the star cluster,¡± he complained, looking back at the main screen. ¡°Won¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°Keep veering and you¡¯ll be back on course¡±, she patted his shoulder.


    Two wrongs don¡¯t make a right, but three lefts do, Iain remembered his first driving instructor telling him.


    ¡°Oh, do you smell that,¡± she added


    He couldn¡¯t smell anything unusual but a brief whiff of her scent, and the a faint odor of toast. Iain prayed he wasn¡¯t having a stroke. And then he thought, wouldn¡¯t the Transient Void get closer if they just turned in a circle?


    ¡°Maybe a blown circuit,¡± Cygnus said, patting his shoulder. ¡°Let me check in the back.¡±


    I¡¯m not detecting anything a short circuit, the autopilot stated. All systems are operating at optimum.


    ¡°Says the autopilot that can¡¯t do any piloting,¡± Iain replied sarcastically.


    Point taken, the voice said. I¡¯ll run a diagnostic. Would that ease your concerns? Maybe two diagnostics?


    ¡°Just keep veering, I¡¯ll find out what¡¯s cooking in the back,¡± Cygnus yelled at Iain from somewhere behind him.


    The shuttle shuddered hard again. He heard another yelp coming from the rear compartment. The image in the rear view screens kept growing larger. He knew the ship was big, but not the scale of the ship coming towards them.


    ¡°Veer it is,¡± he said, and grabbed the control stick and pulled it left, harder this time. The acceleration threw him briefly against the side of his chair. A loud bang erupted from behind him, followed by some loud cursing in a language he couldn¡¯t understand.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    ¡°Are you all right?¡± he yelled back.


    ¡°I¡¯ll live,¡± Cygnus called back. ¡°But could you at least offer some warning next time?!¡±


    The shuttle shuddered again.


    ¡°Keep going!¡± she shouted.


    So he did. Iain pushed forwards on the stick, accelerating, then as the shuttle shuddered as the tractor beam locked on again, he veered again, and again, and the seven stars were back front and center. The Transient Void, however, continued to grow larger and larger. It was now filling half the rear view screens.


    And then, with all this, the shuddering, the roar of the engines came the distinct sound of Cygnus talking in the rear compartment.


    At first Iain only caught snippets, given he was concentrating on trying to shake the ship closing in on them, but her words gradually became clearer and clearer.


    ¡°¡­no he forced me¡­¡± she was protesting.


    Complaining then: ¡°¡­I¡¯m trying, but he¡¯s very strong and persuasive¡­¡±


    Now pleading: ¡°¡­please help, I don¡¯t want to die out here¡­¡±


    After another veer, he¡¯d had enough, let go of the stick, and worked the buckle on the straps till he figured out how to release them.


    I don¡¯t advise unbuckling your straps, the shuttle¡¯s synth voice offered in a helpful tone. If the controls are release-


    ¡°Shut up,¡± Iain told it.


    He then pulled himself up from the pilot seat and headed to the back of the shuttle. He could see Cygnus in a seat turned away from him as she gripped a handle on the rear compartment wall.


    ¡°You¡¯ve almost got him,¡± she was saying in a low voice, ¡°I will be so grateful, you just have to try a little harder. This is just a little shuttle, come on, you can catch it, I know you can!¡±


    ¡°Cygnus,¡± Iain stated, and she looked up at him with a face he was sure turned from annoyed, to guilty, to contrite in a seconds before it settled on happy to see him.


    ¡°Yes?¡± she asked. ¡°Are we free yet?¡±


    ¡°Who are the fuck you talking to?¡±


    The smile she offered him was about as insincere as it could get.


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not really a who, so much as a¡­¡±


    Iain didn¡¯t want to believe it. He really, truly didn¡¯t. Or he wouldn¡¯t have asked his next question.


    ¡°Are you talking to Skipper?!¡± he demanded to know. ¡°Have you been working with it all along?! What the fuck, Cygnus?!¡±

 Please Exit the Vehicle .32 It Could be Worse

    ¡°It¡¯s not what you think,¡± she replied in a placating tone, reaching out for him with her free hand. Then the shuttle shuddered more violently than before, hard enough to knock him off his feet. He was thrown against a bulkhead and then down to the grating that served as its floor. It hurt. He groaned.


    I am flashing the warning lights for a reason, the shuttles voice complained. And I did warn you not to leave the controls. Are you all right?


    He could sense Cygnus had moved over him, was kneeling. ¡°You didn¡¯t break or rupture anything did you?¡± she asked. ¡°That looked painful.? Short-lived species are always so fragile. You aren¡¯t dying, are you?¡±


    He felt her hand against his back as he rose, then move to grab his arm to help steady him as he rose.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he replied, aggravated.


    The shuttle shifted again, seemed to straighten somehow on its own. Iain turned to see the blackness disappear from the screen, to be replaced by the grey and green walls of the shuttle bay.


    I think someone¡¯s mad at you, the autopilot stated in a tone that spoke of real terror. Really, really mad.


    Iain turned to Cygnus who was still kneeling beside him.


    ¡°Well, what was this all for?¡± he wanted to know. ¡°Were we ever going to escape at all? Was this some kind of game to you?¡±


    ¡°Listen, Iain,¡± she started what sounded to him like a textbook patronizing tone. You know, the sort of tone ex-girlfriends would use to explain he was washing the dishes wrong, or it wasn¡¯t him, it was them. ¡°You have to trust me.¡±


    He focused his attention back on what Cygnus was saying.


    ¡°This is a shuttle craft. The Transient Void is a starship. No way we were going to get away from it, even in the condition it¡¯s in.¡±If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°Then, what the fuck?! What was the point?¡± Iain complained.


    With a lurch, the shuttle landed. The bounce caused Cygnus and him to stumble into the shuttle¡¯s bulkhead. At least she took the brunt of it this time, softening the impact. That did make him feel a bit guilty, and Iain was about to apologize when...


    The rear hatch opened with a hiss and the landing bay lights streamed in.


    Please exit the vehicle! came an authoritative command from beyond.


    For a moment, Iain was back in the grey twilight of a Caledon evening, with a flashing light ahead of him blinking through the fog. And a very similar authoritative voice, telling him to get out of his van.


    Oh, fuck me!


    He felt a hand grip his arm.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be angry,¡± Cygnus told him as she pulled him up with her. ¡°Just go with it.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be angry?!¡± Ian replied loudly. ¡°I¡¯m stuck on a starship with a screwed up AI controlling it, that abducts people from whatever planet it decides to set down on and puts them in really long term cold storage. The planet I lived on, that was my home, is thousands of light years away and everyone I ever known has been dead for millennia and isn¡¯t even there anymore. I have missed out on everything I was ever looking forward to, because I was stupid enough to get out of my van when I was told to!¡±


    She looked at him, then appeared to think about it, then said, ¡°If it helps, most of the people I knew have been gone for millennia, too. Although a lot of them are probably still around, not that I think about it, because they are thousands of light years away too. ¡°And I¡¯m here because I¡¯ve always been a poor judge of character.¡±


    Iain snorted.


    ¡°And it could be worse,¡± Cygnus added with a wry twist of her mouth.


    ¡°Really?¡± he demanded to know. ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°The ship could have landed on you,¡± she offered. ¡°You could have never been woken up and spent another who knows how many more tens of thousands of years on ice. Or, you could have spent the remainder of it with only those two peckers up front for company. Me, I give you points for initiative.¡±


    She moved her head down and gave him a kiss, then pulled back before he could decide whether or not to respond.


    ¡°Please, just roll with it sweetie,¡± she told him, grabbing his hand and tugging added, ¡°come on, it¡¯s time to head out and face the music.¡±


    ¡°Taps?¡± he offered. ¡°Closing time?¡±


    ¡°Whatever works,¡± she replied. ¡°What do they sound like?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you later, if there is a later.¡± Iain grumbled. He had at least one of them on his phone. But at the moment, couldn¡¯t remember which. He did remember having provided rentals to more than a few funerals of ex-servicemen.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .33 How Hard Was That?

    Iain followed Cygnus out onto the deck of the landing bay, still grumbling.


    ¡°Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!¡± Cygnus cried out, raising her arms and waving. ¡°I thought I might die out there in the blackness of space. You saved me!¡±


    I was just doing as I was programmed, the skipper offered humbly. You are a valued passenger, after all.


    ¡°Then, can I ask for one small thing?¡± Cygnus held up her hand and gestured at Iain, who still felt like offering her some dirty looks back. He tried a couple. She didn¡¯t respond.


    Perhaps.


    ¡±Show mercy on my kidnapper,¡± Cygnus pleaded. ¡°He¡¯s confused, and so terribly primitive. Really, really primitive. I mean, even getting off their planet was so traumatizing at the time you took him, they hardly ever did it. I mean, look at this.¡±


    She pulled out the Nokia and waved it in the air.


    ¡°This is his height of his species communication technology,¡± she called out.


    ¡°Hey!¡± Iain protested.


    The Skipper sounded less than thrilled at her request.


    Past trauma is hardly an excuse for criminal activity.


    Cygnus turned back at Iain, gesturing for him to play along while handing him back his phone. He let out a breath.


    ¡°She¡¯s right,¡± he said. ¡°It was pretty dangerous for us too. One missing ceramic tile and poof, we were toast. You must have gotten that idea when you picked me up.¡±


    Hmmm, came the voice of the Transient Void in response. Is that an admission of guilt?Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    ¡°So,¡± Cygnus continued, inching away from him when he half-heartedly reached for her. ¡°He¡¯s like all primitive life forms, and wants to go home. He just doesn¡¯t realize it¡¯s not there anymore; that he has to give up and understand you¡¯ve done him an amazing favor by rescuing him too and so generously offered the Transient Void to him as a new home. Please don¡¯t hurt Iain. I still like him, a little, anyways. He amuses me.¡±


    I don¡¯t know. He insulted my generosity.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be extra grateful,¡± Cygnus offered, pouring it on. ¡°And so will he, from now on.¡±


    I suppose.


    If a synthetic voice could sigh in resignation that would have been the moment.


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re the best skipper a starship ever had,¡± Cygnus practically jumped up and down. ¡°I¡¯d hug you if I could.¡±


    I could send a maintenance unit for you to hug.


    ¡°That would be awesome, ¡°she replied warmly.


    Very well, the Skipper stated. Iain Compton, I will show you mercy. This time. I will not punish you for your unauthorized seizure of shuttle number two, nor for the kidnapping of a fellow passenger. But be warned. Do not fuck with me again. Or I will most definitely fuck with you.


    What was he going to say?


    ¡°Fine I won¡¯t fuck with you again,¡± Iain muttered, looking down at the deck.


    I can¡¯t hear you, the voice replied.


    Cygnus gave him a punch to the shoulder, glaring at him and nodding.


    ¡°I won¡¯t fuck with you again!¡± Iain repeated more loudly.


    My audio receivers do not appear to be functioning well at the moment. Could you say that louder? Please.


    ¡°I won¡¯t fuck with you again!!¡± Iain shouted. His scream echoed around the hangar bay.


    Thank you, I will enter that statement for the record into my archives, the Skipper stated. Dinner will be served shortly. Don¡¯t be late.


    Cygnus patted him on the back.


    ¡°See, not so bad,¡± she told him. ¡°How hard was that?¡±


    He turned a baleful pair of eyes on her.


    ¡°Depends. Are you now planning on living on this ship time for the rest of your life?¡± he told her.


    She laughed at that. And then lifted her hand to her mouth to try and stop it.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I guess that¡¯s not funny for everyone.¡±


    At his confused look she stepped over and gave him a tight hug, pressing her warm body against his. ¡°Oh, come on,¡± she whispered into his ear. ¡°I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll think of lots of things to do between now and when we get off this ship. And trust me, it will be in your lifetime, I promise.¡±


    When he didn¡¯t immediately respond she lifted her right leg to rub her thigh over his suggestively. That finally got the reaction she was looking for.

 Please Exit the Vehicle .34 I Tried it Once

    After dinner a few days later, Cygnus suggested they go for a stroll back down in the freezer compartments.


    ¡°What are we doing down here?¡± Iain complained as they strolled among the frozen bodies on Deck 37.


    ¡°This deck has good memories for me,¡± she replied with a grin. ¡°Thought I might try to cheer you up. This was where you first woke me up, remember, and the first time you felt me up.¡±


    He offered a half smile to her smirk. If you discounted the raging and monstrous ex-lover of hers that had to rip apart and stuff down an incinerator, it was a good time.


    ¡°What are we going to do?¡± he asked, gaze falling over the dark frosty outlines of the inhabitants of the other still occupied pods. ¡°Find someone else to draw and quarter?¡±


    ¡°I hope not!¡± she replied with a disgusted look on her face. ¡°Who knows what other kinds of nasty pieces of work are down here who aren¡¯t built like Orwon was. No, I thought something a bit more kinky. Oh, now you¡¯re interested.¡±


    ¡°I suppose,¡± he told her. And yeah, he guessed he was feeling interested again. If he was going to have to remain on the ship, it was better with her than without. ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want to try zero-gee again?¡±


    ¡°Maybe later,¡± she said. ¡°Once we find enough padding for all the walls. The first couple times were a bit painful for my taste. Ah, here we are.¡±


    They were at an empty suspension chamber. It was open, ready for a passenger, sleeper, victim, whatever. He turned to look at her, narrowed his gaze.


    ¡°See,¡± she said. ¡°Memories of being naked¡­¡±


    ¡°And cold,¡± he offered.


    ¡°Not if you¡¯re with someone with a decently high core temperature,¡± she replied in a playful tone.


    Iain still wasn¡¯t quite sure.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ¡°What happens if turns on while were in there?¡±


    ¡°Then I suppose we¡¯ll be caught in the act,¡± she told him. ¡°Most of the species I know expand down there at cryogenic temperatures. So¡­ what do you say?¡±


    He looked at the cylinder, then at her, then started to pull off his shirt. He wasn¡¯t going to continue denying how he was reacting to her.


    ¡°Can¡¯t say no,¡± Iain replied with a grin.


    A few minutes later they were snuggled in the capsule, although the mood wasn¡¯t altogether bliss.


    ¡°That could have been better,¡± Cygnus offered in a slightly disappointed tone. ¡°I thought it was going to last a bit longer.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, my species don¡¯t handle cold that well,¡± Ian said, sighed as he adjusted himself in her embrace. ¡°I just still wonder what that whole attempted escape was all for. If we weren¡¯t going to get away, what was the point in trying to steal the shuttle? And why were you calling the ship for help? It just doesn¡¯t make any sense to me.¡±


    She traced a circle over the bare skin of his chest with a sharp nail, causing him to shiver involuntarily.


    ¡°That¡¯s because you didn¡¯t remember what you saw on the engineering station on that bridge,¡± she whispered in his ear him.


    He could feel himself reacting again to her warmth, the shift of her body against his.


    ¡°What didn¡¯t I see?¡± he forced out.


    ¡°That each and every one of the Transient Void¡¯s starboard engines are out of alignment, not to mention regularly exceeding recommended temperatures,¡± she told him. ¡°And then, after having to chase and repeatedly fire them when you veered to port would throw them even more out of phase, overheat them even more. This ship is going to need to set down, and soon, to get them repaired. Or it will severely shorten its operational lifespan.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Iain replied.


    ¡°Uh huh,¡± she told him.


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you-?¡± he started.


    ¡°Hush,¡± she replied, slapping his chest. ¡°You¡¯re a member of an obvious sort of species Iain. Deception only works when the actor is highly skilled.¡±


    He thought she¡¯d actually over done it a bit. But he had to admit, she was good at eliciting the reactions she wanted.


    ¡°Ah, ready to try again,¡± Cygnus offered in a sexier tone.


    ¡°Almost,¡± he said, adjusting his position. ¡°But one last thing. What happens when we get to a repair facility, what do we do then?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll see when we get there,¡± she told him, moving around him to reach the perfect placing of their bodies. ¡°There is a reason why I haven¡¯t defrosted anyone of the males here. You¡¯re perfectly good enough. Now, don¡¯t complain, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to eat you alive and gnaw the bones.¡±


    That sounded oddly like a confession to Iain. He felt her nibble a bit on his earlobe, sending electric jolts through him.


    Then she whispered, ¡°I tried it once. Didn¡¯t like it.¡±


    The lid of the capsule suddenly slid down, stopped halfway, along with Iain¡¯s heart.


    ¡°Almost, but not quite¡± Cygnus laughed. ¡°Gets your blood flowing, though, doesn¡¯t it?¡±

 Transient Value .1 What are you hiding in your pants?

    Iain


    He had her cornered. Iain smiled as his opponent stood with her back against the wall, helpless.


    He raised his laser and pointed it at her, the guide aimed directly at her heart. He offered a snarl of a smile as she dropped her own weapon and raised her hands in surrender.


    The lights flickered. What? Not another power outage!


    While Cygnus had insisted Skipper would identify the Transient Void had a damaged engine and would head to the nearest repair facility to fix the fatigue caused when it accelerated too fast for the ships starboard engines could handle, some time had passed, making Iain wonder if she hadn¡¯t just been yanking his chain again. Exactly how many times had she lied to him? He had grown a bit suspicious and was seriously thinking about confronting her about what she¡¯d told him.


    But now she was just being silly.


    They were playing a game of laser tag, a suggestion of a game to Arc and Arl which they might be more suited playing, rather than games that required actual intelligence. Skipper had surprisingly approved, to the point of allowing the creations of guns which had lasers that were powerful enough to cause pain and some damage.


    They had been cool looking in a classic sci-fi sort of way but...


    ¡°Not the point,¡± he complained after getting hit a few times with heat rays hot enough to raise blisters. ¡°This is supposed to be fun, not painful!¡±


    It took another five tries to get a design that did the proper job, as he got into arguments repeatedly over the issue with the other passengers as well as Skipper who insisted pain should be the point, otherwise, what was there to be learned?


    In the middle of a game which pitted everyone vs. him as a reaction to his complaints, where he was winning. Arc and Arl were slow learners at everything and had been knocked out early. Cygnus seemed more interested in playing a helpless damsel ¨C treating it like a sex game, a POV he was having trouble arguing with her about.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t shoot me,¡± Cygnus was saying, back against a wall, arms up. ¡°I¡¯m too young to die. Isn¡¯t there anything I can offer you to spare my life? I''ll do anything!¡±Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    That last line was moving towards throaty sexiness.


    Yeah, she wasn¡¯t didn¡¯t seem to get what actual game was about, but Iain ultimately decided he could go either way. He was about to suggest some options when then they were interrupted by the lights strobing and then going down almost completely while his gun depowered itself.


    I have ship-wide announcement, so everyone stop what you are doing or there will be consequences.


    ¡°What is it, Skipper,¡± Iain asked, a bit worried at what was going on with the lights, but also a little alarmed whenever Skipper mentioned ¡®consequences¡¯.


    Due to a minor phase misalignment in the Transient Void¡¯s sublight drive systems we will be shortly putting into a nearby facility for minor repairs. Do not be concerned in either case, the Verindika Asteroid Hive is an accepted facility and has an excellent review in this ship¡¯s maintenance records. It will be able to provide the repairs needed so we can be again on our way quickly and safely.


    Cygnet raised an eyebrow and offered a smirk. Had she known how suspicious he was getting she had just been pulling his leg about the ship''s engine fatigue? He responded with a silent expression of, ¡®OK, you were right all along¡¯.


    ¡°How long do you expect the repairs to take,¡± Iain wondered aloud, still keeping his weapon pointed at his prisoner, who giggled a bit at his persistence, and then took in a sharp breath of mock terror when he raised his gun back up.


    Repairs are estimated to take between 50 and 80 hours, Skipper told him. During this period the passengers may disembark and enjoy all of the entertainments and pleasures the asteroid hive is able to offer with credit provided by your passenger account. I will warn you, however, the Transient Void is on a schedule and will not wait after repairs have been completed before disembarking. So make sure whatever activities any passenger engages in does not prevent you from returning before departure or you will be left behind.


    Ian glanced back at Cygnus.


    ¡°Have you ever heard of the Verindika Asteroid Hive?¡± he asked.


    The interruption seemed to leave her a little annoyed now, based on her roll of the eyes. But she humored him, even offered put upon sigh.


    ¡°Let me think for a moment,¡± she said then added a moment later. ¡°Sounds harmless. Maybe a little interesting.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s interesting about it?¡± he asked, still annoyed his ¡®Zos weren¡¯t offering him what everyone else got from them.


    ¡°Well, you know these ports in the middle of nowhere tend to be a little bit sleazy,¡± she told him. ¡°My ¡¯Zos are offering general warnings that it¡¯s glitzy on approach, but actually is just a prettied-up hole in space on the inside. They recommended what happens in the Verindika Asteroid Hive should stay in the Verindika Asteroid Hive.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s Space Vegas?¡± Iain asked.


    ¡°Whatever that might be, I suppose,¡± she offered unimpressed at his suggestion. ¡°But I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll have fun, all of us, maybe.¡±


    And then Cygnus suddenly grabbed the laser tag gun from his hand, turning it on him.


    ¡°All right,¡± she told him. ¡°You are my prisoner now and have to do everything I demand! Now show me what you¡¯re hiding in your pants. That¡¯s right. Let me see what that bulge is! Ahah!

 Transient Value .2 A little difficulty with scale

    Later in the ship¡¯s lounge, Iain and the three others discussed the situation and the potential opportunities they might find by being able to get off the ship, at least for a while. Cygnus seemed to be distracted throughout, as well as Arc, but not for any reason that they said mattered.


    While Iain liked the idea of actually being able to get off the ship finally, given the vast distances of space and time he was from Earth, his life, and all that, he did feel a little apprehensive wondering exactly what he¡¯d find on the asteroid hive. Might there be something there which would convince him to jump ship he¡¯d planned with Cygnus. It wasn¡¯t like he knew much about the universe as he lived in it now nor did he have any idea of what it would really cost to live out here, and how he would even survive in an alien galaxy that just might be as hostile as his own ¡®Zos kept reminding him.


    They¡¯ll-!!


    Yeah, yeah, they¡¯ll kill me, I know.


    At worse, Cygnus seemed ambiguous about what the asteroid hive itself might offer, and seemed happy enough about the situation to remind Iain more than once her plan was working out so far, so he decided to let whatever uncertainty about what amounted to a weekend off the ship to find a permanent way off it. And it helped that on the other hand a part of Iain was looking forward to getting some time off the ship and figuring out what kind of larger world he was living in, and to find out whether or not if he even wanted to live in it.


    How bad could it be? After all, he¡¯d been involved in some pretty extreme experiences since becoming a conscious passenger of this airport shaped spaceship, including a murder.


    Relax, he ultimately told himself eventually, after the parasites in his head had been quiescent for a while and maybe even asleep. What¡¯s the worst that could possibly happen?


    As stated by Skipper, within a couple of days they arrived at the Verindika Asteroid Hive. From the main view screen in the ship¡¯s passenger lounge on approach the collection of tiny planetoids reminded him the most of a tangled ball of Christmas lights hanging in dark, deep space high above the galactic plane, with that still the generous view of the entire Milky Way galaxy glowing beneath them. Arc was there with him, in a rare moment without his brother present.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t seem too bad,¡± Ian decided. ¡°Those are just asteroids, right. Got to figure they¡¯ve got artificial gravity, right? ¡®Cause those asteroids don¡¯t look really that large. Or is it a microgravity place where we¡¯ll all be floating around from rock to rock?¡±


    The alien snorted.


    ¡°Everyone has artificial gravity, primitive,¡± he told Iain in an entirely irony-free tone. ¡°Except for those who are really, really stupid and haven¡¯t figured out how to put it together yet.¡±


    ¡°Skipper?¡± he tried for a more intelligent response.


    Yes, much of the hive features at least low-level gravity for the enjoyment of its biological visitors from planetary systems all along its three-dimensional matrix.


    ¡°So you definitely have been here before?¡± he asked. ¡°As the Transient Void''s command OS?¡±


    Yes, of course, I¡¯ve been there before. Skipper sounded affronted by Iain¡¯s query. You don¡¯t think I trust my repairs to just any old maintenance facility, do you? That I would ever allow some beings or robots I didn¡¯t trust tinker around with my ship¡¯s delicate insides. You know, there¡¯s not a lot of stations which provide AAAA service for vessels between a hundred thousand and a million years vintage. This is one of only a million or so of them.


    ¡°Good to know,¡± Iain said again having a little difficulty with the scale of the universe he was now living in.


    Despite the fact Arc didn¡¯t seem to be too big on venturing off the ship and onto the asteroid hive, he and his brother stated they were going to head down into the hive as well, together. Their reason was primarily he and his brother were looking for was food which wasn¡¯t available on the ship, not any kind of escape as far as they let on. That didn¡¯t really sound like a bad idea to Iain.


    ¡°Maybe we all should see if we can find some sort of sweetener so the ship can produce food which actually appeals to Cygnus and my taste buds.¡±


    ¡°Sweets?¡± Arl scoffed. ¡°You do know that sort of combination of hydrogen and carbon stuff will kill you. It is toxic.¡±


    And then the ¡®Zos got involved and all about what sugar or any of its analogs had done to his inside and would do in the future. Exploding intestines, runaway metabolism, projectile tooth loss. Worst healthy eating PSA ever. Once they were finished, Iain scowled at the alien.


    ¡°As far as I¡¯ve been told, everything out here is going to kill me,¡± Iain reminded Arl. ¡°Even you and your brother. Even my toothbrush. At this point, if I die with the last bite of an honest to God Honey Cruller gripped in my cold dead hand, that¡¯s going to be better than any alternative this galaxy and time has offered me so far.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t argue with that,¡± Arc supposed.

 Transient Value .3 Best to jump right in

    And so, once docked, which took several hours to manage somehow-


    The current docking command is less than sensitive to a mature vessel¡¯s needs, Skipper explained-


    Iain and the others headed through the airlock into the hive to check out what the spaceport. Apparently, the ambient temperature was a little on the low side, at least compared to the toasty temps in the Transient Void, so Skipper had provided them all some extra layers to compensate. The get-ups were kind of amusing, making Iain think they had been ordered by a customer from some cheap 70s/80s sci-fi show. Cygnus didn¡¯t seem all that into her tight leathers, but he thought they looked good on her.


    ¡°What do you think the chances are we might be able to find a ship heading in the general direction that¡¯ll take me back to where at least what¡¯s left of the Earth? Or maybe someplace where base humans like me exist and not just circus freaks bent on destroying the galaxy?¡± he asked her as they were being cycled around to the passenger tunnel into the asteroid hive.


    ¡°Oh I¡¯m certainly sure you¡¯re not the only one of your kind in existence,¡± Cygnus told him. ¡°I mean no one is ever really truly alone in the universe, no matter how much they might want to be.¡±


    An odd reply, really.


    He really wasn¡¯t sure if that was a backhand dig at him somehow. She did seem to enjoy his company, but who knows what alien women thought, especially ones willing to rip apart their ex-boyfriends and tossed them into incinerators.


    Gotta discuss that with her at some point.


    ¡°There might be a way,¡± Cygnus offered. ¡°But not the way you think it will be. If you¡¯re going to get back to where you started, it¡¯s probably gonna be pretty tricky and not exactly the way you think and take a lot longer than you imagine. So in the meantime, I suggest you enjoy yourself with what very short life you have to look forward to and not worry yourself about it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah thanks,¡± Iain replied. That was totally a dig.


    ¡°Wow,¡± Arl said. ¡°This is going to be the first time for me to be anywhere really interesting, I mean, you know, off the ship.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t have to advertise,¡± Arc grumbled. ¡°The whole hive will be pointing and laughing at us.¡±


    Funny, Iain thought. This might be the first time the pair of them weren¡¯t exactly Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber. Honestly, it was also the first time he¡¯d ever seen either of them behave like an adult, grumpy or otherwise.  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    The cycling of the airlock seemed slower than Iain expected and didn¡¯t really offer much of what to expect, so it did build up some more anticipation/apprehension. But eventually, the lock doors slid open and they were able to step into the asteroid hive proper, able to gaze down and around and up at the bunched up string of Christmas lights from the inside, and at first it was kind of mind-boggling. It took a few moments for his brain to accept the vision and he had keep his eyes on what was right in front of him to keep the vertigo-inducing vista spread out and away at bay.


    Concentrate on the station that¡¯s right in front of you, he ordered his brain.


    Thankfully what was right in front of him looked a lot like the kind of space station he remembered from all the sci-fi shows he¡¯d watched over the years with perhaps a little better where it came to production values. Which was more mentally comforting compared to the chaotic ring of parts of the station hanging overhead and moving around as well as under his feet through the transparent flooring of the place.


    Back to what was in front of him. Yeah there were lots of spots in the atrium they were entering which looked kind of cheap and chintzy that could¡¯ve been seen on any cheap sci-fi show mostly. But there were aspects of it with actually made it feel for completely real he was standing an alien space station, Even if most of the aliens themselves look kind of human with some oddities you might have a low-budget costuming and a makeup budget. At least there was one thing he could thank the ¡®Zos for.


    But what they weren¡¯t helping with was the cognitive dysfunction caused by his brain knowing he wasn¡¯t standing on a set but above him through some transparent material or force field, and below his feet, as way too much of the flooring was see-through as well.


    Yes, as he had been told, they had artificial gravity; in fact, they really went to town where it came to making use of it.


    Because the gravity was didn¡¯t seem to be just on the of the floor plates, opaque or clear, but also on the walls and ceilings. So even here, he had to adjust his mind, as they entered into the spaceport proper which to be perfectly fair seemed a bit grungy, there were beings walking along the walls and on the ceilings along the exposed asteroid rock or whatever that was if it wasn¡¯t rock.


    So as much as the Transient Void seemed like a mix between an Airport and an actual spaceship, the asteroid hive certainly seemed pretty much like a mall designed by Escher combined with a heady jolt of magic mushroom-style surrealism.


    ¡°You okay there, lover?¡± Cygnus asked in a concerned voice, grabbing his arm as if he was about to fall, or rise? Iain was certainly feeling weak in the knees and unable to step forward. ¡°First time?¡±


    ¡°You know this is my first time... on an alien space station,¡± Iain was able to force out.


    She let go, gave him a gentle shove forwards, which he managed somehow without falling.


    ¡°Better get used to it then,¡± she told him. ¡°I have better things to do than hold your hand.¡±


    She stepped ahead of him as though it was the most natural thing to do, did a spin.


    ¡°So you boys you go and find yourself something to do. I¡¯m going to go off and do some shopping.¡±


    Cygnus stepped back up and patted Iain on his shaking shoulder.


    ¡°Best to jump right in, Iain.¡±

 Transient Value .4 Like Heaven

    ¡°What are you planning on buying?¡± Iain wondered.


    ¡°Buying?¡± she said, sounding confused at his question, twisting her lips in disgust as she glanced around. ¡°Why would I be buying anything? There¡¯s nothing here which is likely of any quality I¡¯d be interested in owning. No, I¡¯ll save buying for when I¡¯m actually in a place that isn¡¯t made of pasted together interstellar balls of spit.¡±


    ¡°But you said you were going shopping,¡± he tried again.


    ¡°And I am. Have fun and try not to get yourself killed,¡± she added before walking across a transparent floor he really couldn¡¯t.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Iain said, stretching out the word in the hopes it might draw her back.


    ¡°She spoke the truth, primitive! Let¡¯s go where there¡¯s fun,¡± Arc said giving him a good pound on the back. I think we go over there.¡±


    He was pointed to the brightest collection shiny lights at the core of the asteroid hive where there seem to a huge flow of residents and visitors going back and forth on what Iain hoped were slidewalks with opaque floors.


    Yes! Opaque floors!


    And so they did, and at the heart it was a little easier to cope with not so much 3D space in sight as everything, structures, aliens, other... things were packed tightly together. However, as they wandered looking at a market which seemed to have all sorts of strange ¡®foods¡¯ that aliens were selling/buying/eating wall he watched, he heard something... familiar.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Guitar chords?


    ¡°That¡¯s like heaven,¡± Arl said pointing at a food stall of what Iain hoped was plastic representations of roasted aliens and not the real thing. ¡°I could eat and vomit and eat my vomit there forever.¡±


    ¡°Coming Iain?¡± Arc asked glancing over his shoulder.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said. ¡°I have to check out something. I keep hearing something familiar, I just have to find the source.¡±


    He was not hungry.


    ¡°You¡¯re choice,¡± Arl said. ¡°But you can¡¯t eat through your ears. At least you¡¯re not supposed to be able to.¡±


    Iain started to head to where he thought the chords coming through. Yeah once he was in the bustle of crowds there was a definite A5-D5-E5 going on out there, but it came and went from different directions accompanied by snippets of a melody lead he couldn¡¯t quite place.


    Was the hive producing audio hallucinations now? No. He was sure of what he heard. And so Iain continued triangulating through the crowd, distracted from time by the alien women here women with their slightly different kind of formations of weird hair, bumps around their eyes and tight clothing that tended to reveal a lot of alien skin. This was highlighted enough configurations of breasts which kept him ogling and slowed down his search for those chords he kept finding and losing. The ¡®Zos inadvertently kept helping return him to his quest with warnings like: her species likes disemboweling their sexual partners, which spoiled his enjoyment. Although sometimes their warnings were ambiguous: That one will screw you into a puddle of pudding.


    But Iain kept getting closer and, he hearing more familiar melodics and arrangements which sounded distinctly Earthlike and even using proper scales.


    Once he was able to hear more than a couple of bars he realized what the song he was listening to was, and that was a shocker. It wasn¡¯t Elvis, however, which had crossed his mind a few times over the past several days.

 Transient Value .5 Raw is best

    No, the song he was hearing came from one of a couple of vinyl LPs his uncle Larry used to play to death that had kind of stuck in his head over the years since. Some sort of headbanger music from the early 80s or late 70s or something for some reason his Uncle seemed particularly attached to. But Iain¡¯s dad had always said his brother, ¡®Crazy¡¯ Larry had some weird ideas about what constituted music. That was true. At Larry¡¯s place, a single entitled ¡®Fuck of 1984¡¯ had earned an honored place behind glass in Larry¡¯s home temple to probably best-forgotten rock and roll.


    Iain stopped in the middle of the street and wondered what the name of the band was, remembering it sounded like some sort of kid¡¯s toy. A few of the aliens bumped into him and grumbled but most walked around him once he completely stopped moving.


    Was it the Feebles? Greebles? Gerbils? And then it hit him.


    He recognizes the band and the whole sound fit together. The Reebles! The band which had vanished.


    ¡°Could have been as big as M?tley Cr¨¹e,¡± Larry had once told him, standing there in the middle of his sound room, eyes closed as he absorbed the crunchy 80s crap playing on his turntable dressed the fashion of early 90s grunge after claiming it was ¡®Neil Young¡¯ couture. ¡°But like, 1983 they just... poof! vanished off the face of the Earth. Never heard anything since. It¡¯s like they were erased.¡±


    Of course, that had been back in the olden days before social media. In Iain¡¯s lifetime, people knew everything about every single band they ever listened to. Iain remembered half the music Larry listened to he¡¯d never heard of and whose musicians didn¡¯t even come up on Wikipedia or even deep internet searches, not like modern bands who all had their own sites or had some kind of a Facebook or Bandcamp page.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    More excited now he gazed towards where the music was coming from and it was this big block that looked like a kind of nightclub, its entrance was guarded by really big, heavyset aliens who were scanning anyone who came in with some kind of light projector. Alien bouncers, he snorted. Laugh it up, he told himself, but they looked like they could mash him into a flapjack. Maybe some big pals might be in order to go with him.


    Ian wandered back to the twins who were, surprisingly, not that far away and were arguing over some fruit which looked a bit like papaya and except if the papaya had tentacles which sort of wrapped around their fingers as they were. After a brief flashback of horror to all the Alien movies he¡¯s ever watched, Iain slapped Arc on the shoulder to get his attention.


    ¡°Okay you wouldn¡¯t believe this guys but I think I might have found some of my own kind of people, human beings from Earth,¡± he said.


    ¡°Really? Where?¡± both of the twins looked around and not spotting anything return to their alien fruit argument.


    ¡°They were a rock band from the 1980s and disappeared,¡± Iain told them. When another power chord drifted by he added, ¡°I mean, listen! Those are guitars. Only Earth had electric guitar¡¯s right?¡±


    ¡°Oh come on,¡± Arc argued. ¡°There hardly any base humans anywhere. Everybody knows they all pretty much died out. You¡¯re probably imagining it, primitive. All I hear is the sound of a Baleeni being strangled to death. Now, what do you think of this.¡±


    He thrust the alien pod at Iain who stepped back five full steps.


    ¡°No way I¡¯m getting near that,¡± he ordered.


    His ¡®Zos were strangely silent on the matter.


    ¡°And then cooked,¡± Arl kept to his original argument completely ignoring Iain. ¡°Just like it is supposed to be.¡±


    ¡°No, no,¡± Arc disagreed. ¡°Raw is best.¡±


    ¡°You always say raw is best!¡±


    Iain decided it was a good time to just walk away. He took in a breath and marched towards the alien disco or whatever it was. He could do this. On his own. There were stringier and smaller aliens than him being allowed in. He would get in, and find out one way or another if it was the Reebles or not, live or hologram or just some alien jukebox or implausibly some kind of alien cover band

 Transient Value .6 Till you pop!

    Iain stood at the bottom of the steps at the entrance to the club. Yes, had caught the wary eyes of the giant toad-like bouncers at the doors, who remained at their posts. However, there was something wrong he¡¯d picked up about the music. Even though the tune made perfect sense not a whole lot of the lyrics he could make out made a lot of sense under the thrashing of guitars and heavy base. So, either there is some sort of mix up with his ¡®Zos or most likely, after 22,000 years whoever was playing the music logically couldn¡¯t be the Reebles. But what then? Someone was singing, or at least screaming incoherently and how could there be a tribute band of a band hardly anyone on Earth had even by 2019? Even by the 90s he¡¯d never heard of some of Larry¡¯s favorite no-hit-wonders from the 80s like Benzene Jag or Big Bang.


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 Transient Value .7 Just like Clapton’s balls

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    But still, they were human beings, had to be. And being human and having lived here for some time, they might be able to tell him something more about humanity in this future or at least they might have something in common. Maybe they even knew if there was some kind of real human colony somewhere, people who he might have something in common with.


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 Transient Value .8 Did you lay him?

Arc


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 Transient Value .9 Get him a bird!

Iain


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

 Transient Value .10 A quandry of epic proportions

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    Arc


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 Transient Value .11 Anything of high value

Cygnus


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 Transient Value .12 Convince yourself

¡®High value¡¯. That was the response she got from one collection house to another.


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 Transient Value .13 No webbing

Iain


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