《Sophia Against the World》


 Small Beginnings

    Sophia packed her school bag and sighed. She needed coffee. With a dab of sugar¡­ or perhaps a lot of sugar. Instead she collapsed onto her bed for that extra five minutes of comfort and tried to imagine she wasn''t going to Blue Meadow High that morning. Twisting her head, she caught sight of herself in the mirror; heavy hoodie thrown over slim blue jeans. A battered pair of black converse hi-tops completed the look. Light brown hair hid the best part of her face. It was a face covered in freckles the same fall-chestnut color as her eyes.


    Her mom had always said they were her own little stars, placed there for all the good deeds she had done. When she was young, she had believed it, had strived to do good things. Every time a new freckle arrived she would run to her mom and together they would sit in front of her mirror and connect the dots, drawing patterns and giving them stories. Just like the constellations in the sky.


    She had always been proud of her freckles.


    Until Junior High.


    The magic had died in Junior High.


    The other girls had bullied her. Teased her. Her freckles were no longer her reward; they were her punishment. She hated them and had even tried to stop doing good deeds. Anything to make the freckles go away. But they never had. So, she hid behind her hair and her hoodie. Shied away from the world and the people in it.


    "So ugly," she whispered to herself. She placed a finger on her face and rubbed at the brown dots. Tracing them in small patterns she felt water build upon her eyelids. She wiped it away angrily with the back of her hand.


    "Why do I have to have you. I hate you!"


    "Sophia," her mom called up the stairs. "You''re going to be late."


    She sniffed away her misery. "I know mom! I''m coming!" she shouted back, while secretly thinking of all the ways she could avoid going to school that day. Perhaps she could just not go. There was a park near her house, it sat atop a great hill and looked out over the whole town. Nobody ever visited it. She could stay there until the end of school, read her books and wait it out.


    "Sophia!"


    "Ok! I''m coming! God," she said the last part quieter, made sure her mom couldn''t hear.


    Tying up her laces, Sophia headed downstairs. Her mom was already dressed and ready for work. She wore a dark red lipstick that looked wrong on her. Her white pharmacy uniform didn''t work for her pale skin, either. There were no freckles on her mom''s skin. Sophia''s curse came from her dad- another reason to hate the freckles.


    Her mom smiled, cheeks lifting to show small lines at the corners of her eyes. Sophia tried to hide her sadness at her mom''s visible aging. Since their dad left, Sophia''s mom had never been the same. She could never quite hide the weariness that fell like a dim shadow over her face. There was still beauty in her face. In Sophia¡¯s eyes that beauty would always be there, but she was no longer the same person who would take Sophia to the park or have races on their bikes. That person had gone, worn away by time, heartache and bills.


    "Have you got your lunch?" her mom asked.


    "I''ll just pick something up."


    "Do you have any money?"


    "No..."


    Her mom tutted dramatically and dug into her purse. "Take this." She handed Sophia a scrunched up ten-dollar note.


    "Thanks, mom."


    "You''re welcome." She leaned forward and kissed Sophia on her cheek, as she always had. "So beautiful," she said to herself, tracing a finger over Sophia''s freckles. Sophia tried to pull away, but another smile lit up her mom¡¯s face face. "Ok, now it really is time to go!"


    Sophia found herself being shooed out of the house. Outside the world was green and warm. Spring''s light fell over well-manicured lawns and row after row of identical garden patches. As she walked down her street, she couldn''t help but notice that everything was the same.


    Everything.


    The cars parked outside the garages were all as dull as they were indistinguishable; Hondas of blacks and silvers, with the odd Toyota thrown in for good measure. Heaven forbid somebody drove a car with a sliver of color, she thought to herself. As she continued her walk, more teens began to leave mirror-image homes. They joined other groups and quickly filled the street with laughter and shouting. The boys pushed each other and jostled for leadership of their small groups, the girls looked at the boys and laughed at their immaturity. It was the same routine everyday. Had been for as long as Sophia could remember. Nothing really changed on her street.


    Sophia shook her head quietly, put in her earphones and pulled up her hood. It was a warm day, but she felt the urge to hide from the light and the faces all around her. With her hood and her headphones it was easy to pretend she was in her own music video. She¡¯d seen the type many times; a lone singer on a packed street walking against a crowd that blurred in the background. This walk was her own version of that. It was a fantasy she fell into often. It gave her power. Made her untouchable.


    Sophia against the world.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    She smiled beneath her hood, as a light wind flicked at the hair around her face. She was hidden, with the world drowned out; alone. Nothing could touch her behind her hood.


    The feeling quickly left her when she spied Blue Meadow High. The red-brown brick building loomed over her. Trimmed trees either side of a gray path. Groups of teenagers lingered around outside. Somebody bumped her shoulder. She turned, saw a blond girl make a comment to her group of friends. They laughed and shot lingering looks at Sophia. Sophia drew the strings of her hood tighter and turned up her music.


    The big clock on the front of the building showed 7:50.


    Not too late to head to the park. Nobody will even notice you leave. Said a voice in her head.


    She climbed the school steps.


    Music continued to play in her ears. More and more students filled the school premises around her. Some were sleepy and disheveled; some were annoyingly made up and beautiful. A group of boys strolled through the corridor. Their easy-going confidence and the way they commanded the attention of all the other students told her they were the football players.


    It didn''t matter to Sophia.


    Smart or beautiful, athletic or popular¡ª they were all just background actors in her music video. Their mouths may move, but no sound came out. They were just there to fill the scene. She was the star. She pushed through the hall. A lady stopped in front of her. Arms folded, a frown above heavy-rimmed glasses. She looked down at Sophia and said something.


    Sophia pulled out her headphone. "Sorry, miss."


    "I said take your hood down, you''re inside the school now. And get to your class, you''re going to be late."


    "Yes miss." She pulled her hood down, messy hair falling over her face. Some of the other kids had turned to watch her get told off. They were laughing. Sophia felt her cheeks burn and quickly rushed to homeroom. Throwing her bag on her desk, she took her seat. Other students were already sitting, but at the back of class a huddle of boys and girls were listening to music on a phone.


    Mumble rap.


    Sophia didn''t get it. It just sounded to her like the artist couldn''t be bothered. And if they couldn''t be bothered to make their music, she couldn''t be bothered to listen to it. Not that she had much choice, as some of the boys started to rap along loudly. A few shouts of ''shut up!'' from other students in the class were ignored.


    "They sound like my mom lecturing my dad after her fourth Valium of the day," a girl next to her whispered.


    Sophia giggled. The girl was Amy, Sophia''s best friend. She was chubby and because of that she was overlooked by the boys of the school. They were fools. Despite her weight, Amy had a wonderful face and lovely curly hair. Sophia knew she would be beautiful when she was older. When she finally grew into her body.


    "More like Mr Finkle trying to teach us vectors after drinking his ¡®special¡¯ coffee." She made a drinking motion with her hand, tipping her head back. It was Amy''s turn to giggle- a sound which quickly became a flood of uncontrollable snorts. Some of the other students pointed at Amy, but Sophia''s friend ignored them. It was one of the reasons Sophia loved her friend so much¡ª she didn''t care what anybody thought.


    Sophia wished she could be more like that.


    "Music off!" Their homeroom teacher, a tall, slightly hunched man with balding gray hair and an ill-fitting suit strolled into the room. Mr Shircliff¡ª though the students usually called him Mr Shirtlift because of the fact his shirts never tended to fit right.


    "Come on sir! The song isn''t even finished yet!" someone protested from the back of the room. Sophia cringed. Why couldn''t they just do what the teacher said? Every morning it was the same; every morning she had to listen to the same constant, stupid arguments.


    "I said off, Lucas. Now."


    There were some mumblings as the students turned off their music and returned, reluctantly to their seats. Some of the boys made a dramatic show, pulling their legs slowly across the floor. At the back a group of girls laughed. Sophia wanted to throw her bag at them.


    "Thank you," Sophia whispered as the god-awful music stopped and the students finally slumped into their desks.


    Mr Shircliff quickly went through the attendance and filed off a list of messages Sophia didn''t hear. After the anxiety of having her own name called had passed, she had switched off. In her bag was a book, and she was already fantasizing about getting back home and reading it later. It was a novel about travel. About a Singaporean woman who went around the world on her Vespa scooter. The last chapter Sophia had read was all about Africa. Ghana, with its untouched beaches and frothing waterfalls. Colorful people who danced and sang and shared and didn''t care about who had the most expensive sneakers or got the best kill on Fortnite.


    "Ok, that''s everything." Mr Shircliff''s weary voice brought Sophia back to an unwelcome reality. "You have thirteen seconds to get to your first periods. Twelve." A crooked smile brought a groan from the students, as it always did when their homeroom teacher thought he was being funny.


    "Well, I hope you''re ready for another terrible day," Amy said as they picked up bags and rose from their desks.


    Sophia tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear.


    She wasn''t ready.


    The morning''s periods went about as well as she expected. That was to say, they went terribly. Memories of biology class still made her cringe. Mrs Matthews had been dissecting the organs of a sheep when she called the class round to get a better look. Sophia, not wanting to huddle forward with the rest of the crowd, stayed at her desk and simply stood on the leg bracket of her stool to get a better look. Truthfully, she was interested in the experiment. It was fascinating to her. Mrs Matthews hadn''t seen it that way though.


    "Are you ok?" she had asked. Immediately every head in the class turned in Sophia''s direction. "You''re looking pale. If you want to leave, it''s fine. I don''t want anyone throwing up all over my classroom!"


    The other students laughed; Sophia flushed. I always look pale! she had wanted to shout. "I''m fine," she had said instead. But the nerves of being called out in front of everybody had stolen all volume from her voice, and the squeak that came out of her mouth suggested that maybe she wasn''t fine.


    "Do you want some water?"


    Please just shut up! But she hadn''t said that. She knew Mrs Matthews was only trying to be nice. "No. I''m fine," this time the words came out louder and seemed to satisfy her teacher, who nodded and went back to prodding around at the intestines of the farm animal.


    The awkward, uncomfortable memory still burned fresh in her mind as she found herself in the lunch hall. It was already full, boisterous and noisy. She bought a sandwich and quickly hurried outside. The air was still warm with a slight chill wind. Finding a peaceful spot, away from the others, she dropped her stuff onto the grass and began to eat her sandwich. She sat and watched the world go by. The odd car, birds in the trees and the distant clamor of a sports game provided the only soundtrack to the scene.


    She closed her eyes, pictured herself anywhere but at Blue Meadow High.


    Her eyes flickered open. Beyond the square buildings and the wide streets, she saw it. It seemed to call to her.


    Stuffing down the rest of her sandwich, she scrunched up the wrapper and put it in her hoodie pocket. Picking up her stuff, she dusted the grass stains from the back of her legs and, perhaps for the first time in a long time, Sophia made a decision of her very own.


    Skipping school, Sophia headed for the park.

 Chapter 2: Pog the dog (and Noah too)

    The walk was long and tiring and had involved a lot of darting behind walls, fences and cars. Paranoia that her mom would see her, or even one of her teachers, still sat over her. But beyond it, beyond the fear, somewhere in the back of her mind a spark of something was lit. She could feel it; a growing excitement. For that day belonged to her. Not the school or her mom, but to Sophia and Sophia alone.


    She pulled her hoodie over her head and laughed. The sound of it leapt into the air and nested in leaf-strewn branches. She sat atop the hill like a queen, looking out over her kingdom. The wooden bench was no longer a bench, but a throne. Down below, in the streets and amongst the dull buildings, thousands of people did their duty. Marched from one class to the next, from one office to another.


    Sophia wasn''t one of them.


    Woof!


    A fluffy ball of black and white came tumbling towards her, tongue hanging out of a mouth rich with drool.


    "Hello boy," she held out a hand as it sniffed her leg happily. "Where did you come from?"


    It continued to sniff at her, it''s nose twitching as it dug into the pocket of her hoodie. The rustling of plastic quickly followed.


    "Ah ah ah. No, that''s not for you."


    The dog backed away, tilting its head and staring at her with wide eyes.


    "Ah you''re a cutie aren''t you. But I don''t have any food for you I''m afraid."


    "Pog! Pog! Come here you idiot." A boy came bounding up the hill then, dog leash thrown over his shoulders.


    "I''m sorry," he said as he drew close.


    She looked up into his face. Deep dark eyes and white teeth sat either side of strong cheekbones and close-cut curly black hair that did his large ears no favors.


    "It''s ok," the sound came out as a squeak and she berated herself inwardly. Already she could feel her cheeks flushing and had to fight down the desire to pull up her hood. Despite herself, she had the growing feeling she wanted to say more.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    "Did you say your dog''s name is Pog?"


    He laughed. It was deep and not unpleasant. "Pog the dog. That''s him. If he were a little bit less stupid he''d probably bite me for that one. Luckily he''s dumb as a rock." The boy kneeled, ruffled the head of his dog, Pog.


    Sophia smiled. "It''s a good name."


    "Here that boy, she says you have a good name."


    Pog panted happily.


    "What''s yours?" From his crouched position, he was looking up at her. For a moment their eyes met.


    Sophia looked away.


    "Sophia."


    "Sophia huh. I''m sure I know you from school."


    "You do?"


    "Yeah! You have homeroom with Shirtlift, right?"


    Sophia nodded. "How do you know?"


    "I''m with Mrs. Lancaster!"


    Sophia frowned. "Are you?"


    "Yeah," he laughed. "Noah. Noah Williams?"


    "I''m sorry, I dunno if I remember you. Are you new?"


    He hesitated. "Not really. Anyway, shouldn''t you be at school?"


    "Shouldn''t you?" she fired back. She felt pleased with herself .It wasn''t the best comeback, but it was a comeback- she usually wasn''t able to think of those with anyone but her mom.


    Noah shrugged. "Probably. Someone has to walk this doofus though." He ruffled his dog''s fur again.


    "So, what are you doing up here, Sophia?"


    A gust of wind whipped hair over her face. Spitting a strand out of her mouth, she took out a hairband and tied her hair up. Only after she''d finished tying it did she realize what she had done. She suddenly became very aware of her visible freckles. A sleeve fell over her hand and she pushed it against her mouth, lowering her head.


    "Just wanted to get away," she said, at last.  The sound of her voice was muffled.


    "I get that," he pushed himself to his feet. She noticed the wind had brought hundreds of tiny little bumps to the surface of his bare arms.


    "Well, I guess I need to go. Gotta get Pog home. Nice to meet you, Sophia. Hopefully I''ll see you around sometime."


    "You too. Nice to meet you Noah. And you Pog."


    The dog wagged its tail and, as Noah attached the leash, fell in beside its owner. She watched them go. When they were out of sight, she turned her attention back to the town. In the distance she could make out the train station where at that moment a train was pulling in. Rummaging around in her bag, she pulled out her phone.


    15:33.


    School would be finished. A hole in her stomach reminded her that it wasn''t too late to get into trouble. Even now the school might have left a message for her mom at home. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that was exactly what they had done.


    She began to run.


    So focused was Sophia on getting home, that she missed the five phone calls to her mobile and the one message that read: Sophia. Call back ASAP.

 Chapter 3: The CCU

    "Mom?" Sophia stepped inside her house and threw down her schoolbag. Somewhere at the bottom of it, her mobile phone flashed blue. Missed calls. Sophia didn''t notice. She''d always been bad with her phone, much to her mom''s annoyance.


    She wandered into the kitchen, checked the clock on the wall.


    17:24


    Weird. Mom wasn''t usually this late. A sinking feeling began to carve a big hole in her chest. She''d been caught. The school had phoned her mom. Already they were meeting, talking about her.


    She knew it. She just knew it.


    She pushed a thumb to her mouth and chewed on the nail and the skin beneath it.


    I''m sure she''s just late. Probably shopping. She opened the cupboards. They were pretty empty. Definitely shopping then. She let herself relax. Swallowed the lump that had been building n her throat.


    Her thoughts turned to Noah. Their conversation had been fun, interesting. Even exciting. She suddenly hoped very much that she would see him again. Did he say he had homeroom with Mrs. Lancaster? Sophia was sure she had never seen him before, and there weren''t that many black students at the school. He had quickly become a mystery, and that only made her want to know more about him. But how? She could go to his homeroom tomorrow, ask about him.


    She laughed at herself. She would never do that. She could already hear what the other students would say.


    "Why do you want to know about Noah? Oh, Sophia has a crush!" and it would quickly go around the whole school. The thought was mortifying. Pushing Noah to the back of her mind, she made herself a cup of tea and returned to the living room.


    Her heart stopped.


    A red light on the telephone''s answering machine flashed on and off.


    "Oh no," she whispered. She didn''t want to hear the message. Her finger hovered over the delete button. She could just get rid of it, pretend it was never there. But what if it wasn''t from the school?


    But what if it was?


    The lump in her throat was returning. She pushed the button. The machine''s robotic voice filled the room.


    You have 1 new message.


    "Sophia, honey it''s your aunt Jane."


    Sophia let out an audible phew. It was just her aunt!


    "When you get this, could you give me a call? Your mom is in the hospital. She''s ok, but...well, just call me ok."


    She put her tea on the table, where it would remain untouched and forgotten.


    "You didn''t leave a number!" she shouted at the machine. Running to where her schoolbag lay slunk against the wall, she picked it up and rummaged through it, yanking her phone from the bottom. Only then did she see the missed calls and the texts from her aunt. Sophia immediately hit the call back button.


    "Come on! Pick up!" She paced, nervous energy pulling her around the room.


    "Sophia?"


    "Aunt Jane! I''m so sorry. I just got your messages. Where''s mom? What''s happened?" The words tumbled out of her mouth, rolling over one another.


    "It''s ok honey, it''s ok," her aunt''s voice was calm. "Your mom just had a fall, that''s all. I''m sending your uncle Dave to come and pick you up now. He''ll be there soon. But don''t worry, your mom is fine."


    "Can I talk to her?"


    "When you get here. She''s sleeping at the moment."


    "OK. That''s good then. Tell Uncle David to hurry please."


    "He''s already left. We''ll see you soon sweetie."


    "Ok. See you."


    She hung up. A wave of guilt and panic hit her. If only she had gone to school! She would have been home in time. Wouldn''t have missed those messages. Or maybe she could have even stopped the fall. Forcing herself to sit, she dug a hand into her thigh. The leg shook uncontrollably. It was something she often did when nervous or lost in a good book. She could hear her mom''s voice: Sophia! Stop that. It''s making the whole floor shake. For a moment I thought it was mini-earthquake!


    Sophia smiled, despite her worry. Her mom said it every time, but their town had never had a single earthquake in the seventeen years Sophia had been alive.


    "Please be ok, mom."


    A loud knock at the door made her jump and she quickly rushed to open it.


    Her uncle stood there, mop of black hair over a chubby face and hooked nose. He gave her a big grin and a quick hug which she returned.


    "Sophia! Wow. I haven''t seen you in years. Look at you now. You''re as tall as your mom."


    "I''m liked two inches taller Uncle Dave."


    He laughed. "Most people are. Come on, let''s get you to the hospital or Jane will kill me.


    "What happened?" she asked, when they were in the car and on the way.


    He kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead, as he always had when Sophia was in the car. She had vague memories of her mom scalding him for not paying attention to the drive when Sophia was very young.


    "She fell, that''s all."


    "But she''s in hospital?"


    He shot her a quick look. "Well...it was more of a faint really."This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    Sophia gasped.


    "But I''m sure your aunt will fill you in on the situation better than me," he added quickly.


    "I should have been there."


    "At your mom''s work?" David replied quizzically.


    "It happened at work?"


    "Yes. Sophia, this isn''t your fault. You do know that, right?"


    She gave him her best, most unconvincing smile. "I know."


    But the guilt remained.


    The journey to the hospital seemed to take an age. Buildings, cats, dogs, trees, cars and people all blurred into one constant sliding scene of changing color. Sophia noticed none of it.


    They finally reached the hospital and her uncle parked the car.


    "She''s this way," he led her through double doors and winding corridors. Hospital staff in blues and whites smiled at them as they passed. Sophia frowned as they stopped in front of a ward. The CCU? That can''t be right. The double doors swung in as she and her uncle entered. She spotted her aunt and rushed towards her- and then stopped.


    There was her mom. She lay on a hospital bed, in a hospital gown, hooked up to a hospital machine.


    "Mom! What happened? I thought it was just a fall!!


    Her aunt turned in her chair and jumped to her feet. "Sophia! Honey, it''s ok. She did have a fall."


    "Then why is she in the CCU?


    "Well, the doctor''s think they have found an irregularity in her heat."


    Sophia felt her head fill with fog. She suddenly grew dizzy, a faint feeling of nausea building deep within her stomach.


    "What? What does that mean?" Sophia didn''t know much, but she knew anything to do with the heart couldn''t be good.


    "Just that her heart was beating a little fast. It''s all ok sweetie."


    At that moment Sophia hated that her aunt still spoke to her like she was a kid. Her mouth had grown dry, her head a confusion of different feelings.


    She took a deep breath, felt her chest shake as she pulled the air down into her lungs. "But she will be ok? Can I wake her?"


    Her aunt gave a weak smile. "I think we should let her rest a bit longer. But you can wait here. Your uncle and I can bring you some snacks? Or maybe a drink?"


    Sophia nodded and then forgot immediately about anything her aunt had just said. She heard her aunt leave. Heard the curtain being drawn around her. She collapsed into the empty chair and looked up at her mom. The strongest woman Sophia had ever known suddenly looked so very weak and frail.


    "Mom," she gripped her still hand. "Mom you have to be ok. Ok? You have to. I don''t want to not have you in my life." Maybe she was being dramatic, but at that moment all she could think about was the very worst. Tears welled in her eyes. She quickly scrunched them shut, determined she wouldn''t cry.


    "Sophia?"


    "Mom!"


    "How are you, little monster?"


    Sophia laughed at her mom''s favorite nickname for her and jumped to her feet. "I''m fine! But how are you? What happened? How are you feeling?"


    "I had a fall." She gave a weak smile. "Doctor''s said it was something to do with my blood pressure, but now they tell me I may have a problem with my heart. Can you believe that? I''m 45, I told them. Not 65!" As she spoke, some of the strength returned to her voice. In return, some of the fear and tension fell away from Sophia.


    "But with all that gray hair they might have thought you were 65," Sophia teased.


    Her mom scowled. "When I get out of this bed I''ll show you whose old!"


    "I can''t wait," Sophia said with real feeling. "But you''re going to be ok, aren''t you mom? Your heart is ok?"


    "Of course it is. As long as I have you my heart will always be whole."


    Sophia groaned. "That is so cheesy. If the terrible jokes are back, you must be ok."


    "See," her mom beamed. "I''m as young, healthy and cheesy as ever."


    Aunt Jane returned then, carrying an armful of snacks and candy. "Pam! You''re awake! How are you feeling?" Despite her aunt''s small size, she had a way of filling the entire ward with her voice. Sophia cringed inwardly, caught her mom rolling her eyes and laughed silently.


    "I''m fine Jane. Honestly, I could do without you fussing over me like this."


    "I''m not fussing." She fluffed at Sophia''s mom''s pillow. "I''m just making sure you''re ok."


    They were all saved by aunt Jane then by the arrival of the doctor. He was a stern looking man with small glasses and a patch of hair looping all the way around his head. On top he was as bald as an egg. A small, thin nose made him look, in Sophia''s eyes, like an anxious bird.


    Bird or not, all conversation had stopped when the doctor walked into the room.


    He cleared his throat nervously. "Mrs. Pamela Hanson?"


    "Ms." Her mom corrected.


    "Mom!" Sophia protested, amazed that her mom could worry about such a small thing at a time like this.


    "Sorry, yes of course. Ms Hanson. I''m glad to see you''re up and talking. I came to see you earlier but was shooed away." He shot a quick glare at Aunt Jane. A glare that nobody missed. "How are you feeling? Good, I hope," he answered his own question before anybody else could. "Anyway¡ª" he continued; eyes fixed on the chart in his hand "¡ªwe''d like to keep you overnight. I''ve scheduled you in for an EKG and it''d be best if we could monitor you."


    "Overnight? Well that simply won''t work. I feel fine doctor."


    "Ms. Hanson, I¡ª"


    "Mom!"


    "Pam!"


    Both Aunt Jane and Sophia interrupted the doctor at the same time.


    "Mom, you are staying," Sophia said quickly, before her aunt could say any more. She set her face, hoping it looked serious and adult enough that her mom would listen.


    To Sophia''s surprise, her mom huffed and gave in. "Fine. Can my daughter stay?"


    "Of course. Of course." His eyes were still glued to the medical chart. "I''ll see you put in your own room and a sleeper sofa will be made available."


    "Pam, I really think Sophia should sleep in her own bed. She has school tomorrow and¡ª" Aunt Jane had returned to fluffing Sophia''s mom''s already fluffy looking pillow.


    "I''m staying."


    A dramatic sigh. "But Pam¡ª"


    "Enough, Jane." Her mom tapered the words with a smile. "You and Dave can pick Sophia up tomorrow. And bring her a set of clean clothes so you can drop her off at school."


    Another sigh. "Fine. You always were the stubborn one."


    Sophia saw an opportunity then and she quickly spoke up. "Actually, could you get my clothes now?" she asked her aunt. "And maybe my books?"


    "School books?"


    "Reading books. But they are in my schoolbag. You can just bring my whole bag if you like."


    "I''ll send Dave while¡ª"


    "You go too, Jane. I''d like some time alone with my daughter," her mom''s tone suggested she was done with arguing.


    For a moment Sophia thought her aunt was going to protest anyway, but to her relief and surprise her aunt simply smiled and nodded. And then Sophia found herself alone with her mom.


    "I''m sorry to scare you like this Soph."


    Sophia sat beside her mom, inched the chair closer to the bed and squeezed her hand. "I''m not scared mom. I just wish you didn''t have to be here."


    "You and me both," her mom paused and began to chew the inside of her cheek. It was an action Sophia knew well. There was something on her mom''s mind, only she didn''t know how to say it.


    "I had a phone call from your school today," her mom said at last.


    Sophia felt her heart drop. She suddenly felt as if she had no control over her own face, no longer knew how to make a normal, unguilty expression.


    "Relax! You look like a dog chewing toffee, moving your mouth like that. It''s ok, I''m not mad. I promise. Where did you go?"


    Sophia frowned. It felt like a trap. "I went to the park," she said at last.


    A weak smile. "That''s a good choice. Your dad and I used to go there a lot. It''s very peaceful."


    "You''re really not mad?" Sophia didn''t want to talk about her dad.


    "No. It''s ok to miss school sometimes. I know what it''s like at seventeen. The world suddenly seems very big, it''s hard for us to find our place in it."


    Sophia didn''t know what to say. She loved her mom, but it was strange to hear her talk like this. It had been a long time since they''d had any deep or meaningful conversation.


    "Just know that there is nothing you can''t tell me, ok?"


    "Ok mom. Thank you. And I''m sorry for not going."


    "Well you''re forgiven!" Her mom winked, "so what did you do at the park all day?"


    "It wasn''t all day! I went to my morning classes. Just not the afternoon ones."


    "Ok, so what did you do at the park all afternoon?"


    "I sat and listened to music and relaxed. And..."


    An arched eyebrow. "And...?"


    "And I spoke to a friend."


    "Ah. A boy is it?"


    "Mom! No."


    "So it was a she?"


    "No. Well...no. It was a boy. But not like that."


    "I see. A boy whose like, not a boy."


    "You''re teasing me."


    "Of course! It''s my job and my privilege as a mother. So, who is he?"


    "Noah."


    "Noah. Why have I never heard about this Noah before?"


    "I only just met him. Nothing happened."


    And will he be taking you to any more parks?"


    "No. I don''t know." Despite her best efforts, Sophia felt her mom could see the hope written all over her face.