《Cadorna Keep》


 Chapter 1 - Another Day, Another Quest

    ¡°The lords will see you in just a few moments now,¡± the stuffy shirted gnome told them. He stood perhaps three and a half feet tall but somehow held a halberd. The axe shaft was twice as long as he was and it wavered awkwardly.


    The party didn¡¯t really notice though, absorbed as they were with the anxiety of the moment. The adventurers had been pacing for a good half an hour, well aware that if they messed up this interview they might as well pull up camp from Gennopolis and head off elsewhere. Yenrab¡¯s stomach burbled with the stress of bottled up gas and his face was taut with displeasure.


    Tracy looked over her friend with sympathy.


    ¡°Maybe, friend Yenrab, you should take a trip to the latrines?¡±


    Yenrab looked back at her with a pained expression.


    ¡°Ya know I would if you all didn¡¯t make me the party captain. I¡¯ll take off to the crapper then they¡¯ll call us in and I¡¯ll be the sour snout that messed it all up for us all. They¡¯ll be like, oh, hey, where¡¯s your captain? And you¡¯ll all say that I¡¯m in the crapper. Then they¡¯ll do some stuff with the papers and huff and haw and we¡¯ll lose to the job to Some Other Guys.¡±


    ¡°Some Other Guys are a pretty decent group, mates,¡± Bern Sandros cut in, his midnight blue cloaks and leather quite the fashion statement now that he¡¯d had the cash to have it tailored. ¡°Enough so that people were telling me that SOG is almost certainly going to get this job instead of us.¡±


    ¡°Nonsense brosephs,¡± Wex added, his featureless mask fully in place, his mailed body edgy with anticipation. ¡°We¡¯re the heroes of Rising Action and Torus Strade. We¡¯re a shoe in, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Bern questioned.


    ¡°Yeah bro,¡± Wex answered. ¡°No doubt about it.¡±


    Strings plucked in the corner.


    ¡°They came they saw they slew them all - hoorah hoorah - they are the Exterminators of Things that Hurt Us and Are Really Bad - hoorah hoorah - EoTtHUaARB came to save the day, everyone got hurt and there wasn¡¯t much day but it all ended purposeful for the Exterminators of Things that Hurt Us and Are Really Bad . . .¡± Carric Smith sang, fading out at the end. He was dressed up in fancy and colorful clothing, not quite his style but today he had to dress to impress. And these fancy duds came from home with his name tagged to every article. At his side he carried his scabbard with the words ¡®Momma¡¯s Little Dumpling¡¯ woven into its edges and upon his back was hooked his exceptionally manufactured hand crossbow whose name, ¡®Lil Sunshine¡¯, stood carved into its outward arc.


    ¡°What was that?¡± Bern Sandros asked the half-elf, his pointed ears and thin build a stark reminder of his mixed parentage.


    ¡°Shuddup. I¡¯m working on it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard better cat squalls,¡± Wex opined. ¡°And what¡¯s with the duds? You look so not you?¡±


    Carric simply scowled.


    ¡°The lords will see you now,¡± the stuffy shirt yawned, somehow still hanging on to that danged halberd.


    ***


    The hall they entered resembled a courtroom more than anything else. The lords of the ruling council sat tall behind gavelled podiums of a deep brown oak, well finished and well furbished. The rest of the large council room was absent except for them, the wooden panels that composed it playing back their every sound as it echoed through the room.


    A light squeal sounded from Yenrab¡¯s end. Carric shifted and coughed to cover it up, though Yenrab¡¯s very guilty face, and the sudden smell of dirty rear let the rest of the party know that this interview had to go fast.


    The three lords stood from their high places. Each was dressed regally, but in glitzy and ceremonial garb as best befit their titles. On the left stood the Lord over Civil Affairs, elected, as they all were, for a single ten year term. He wore golden silks in the form favored by sages, and ceremonial eyeglasses clung to his face, though they were not necessary. Next, in the middle of them, stood a broad shouldered man with a scarred face. He was the General over Military Affairs, and his golden chestplate gleamed as only a soldier with a spit rag can make it. Last was the Diplomat over International Ties and Diplomacy. It was a long title given to a man who looked crooked and calculated, with eyes that were filled with wild intelligence. His garb was that of some majestic godlike courier and frankly it looked ridiculous.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°You have audience with the Lords Regent of the Republic, party, Ea-ot-the-ah-arb,¡± the diplomat spoke. To every person within these halls of the law, he was simply the diplomat because the law had no name. Or so the law exposited.


    The party proceeded to line up as the formal words were spoken. Yenrab stepped forward to start this encounter.


    ¡°EoTtHUaARB, your, uh, graces,¡± Yenrab corrected them in a tone that, to those who knew them, indicated a bit of distress. Carric coughed again to cover a couple of creeping noises and Wex sneezed as the acrid stench reached his nose.


    Hot air rises. We¡¯d better finish this interview in a hurry, he thought to himself.


    ¡°What do you need?¡± Tracy stepped up beside him. The rest of the party scowled but the lord laughed and then, with a motion at his fellows, they were all seated.


    ¡°Party EoTtHUaARB,¡± the lord pronounced correctly, speaking it exactly as it is spelled, ¡°we are here to beseech an adventuring party, the best one I suppose, to do a mission of a military matter.¡±


    The general stood back up, his armor gleaming as the rays of the afternoon sun poured in through the windows of the Assembly¡¯s dome. The building was quite majestic and, were one to write about it, surely they would give it a tremendous amount of description due to its powerful and statuesque beauty.


    ¡°We¡¯re talking about Cadorna Keep,¡± he growled out. There was something about grizzled combat veterans that turned them half-feral. They always growled.


    ¡°Our Freeholder¡¯s Republic is holding strong, but since we lost that keep during the Revolutionary War, it''s been hard as the Elemental Plane of Earth to keep it free of pirates. And we¡¯ve been getting goblin and orc tribes marching through our borders and dragging long boats in.¡±


    ¡°Someone needs to build a wall, A huge wall. A tremendous wall!¡± the Diplomat exclaimed fervently.


    ¡°We¡¯ve been over this,¡± sighed the lord. ¡°Who¡¯s going pay for it?¡±


    ¡°I told you,¡± the Diplomat exclaimed again, standing up. ¡°They will!¡±


    ¡°Fleer of Villages!¡± the general cursed. Yenrab started. When the heck did my folk hero titles start becoming curses, he wondered.


    ¡°Look, enough partisan bickering. Let¡¯s just focus on the task at hand. Adventurers, what we need is a group to land on the island. We will have transport ships take you there and they will come back to pick you up the next day. We need you to map the place out and tell us what is where and where is what. The island has been under some sort of curse and we will send a military to occupy it whilst clerics of good cast this bad magic out. For your services we will give you the princely sum of,¡± the general looked uncomfortable, ¡°Five-hundred gold pieces.¡±


    Why is it always gold pieces or silver pieces, one of The Gamers griped. Do they just march around with jagged chunks of unstamped metal in their pockets? How much is that anyways? Like five dollars? Five-hundred dollars? Why not something cool, like pieces of eight?


    Oh, look at that, an even more powerful figure observed. The weather outside has turned rather rough. It¡¯d be a damn shame if a stray lightning bolt came blasting through that window.


    The voices of The Gamers faded away.


    ¡°Bloody hells we will,¡± Bern Sandros broke in. ¡°You want us to stay twenty-four hours on a haunted island for the cost of a good set of mail? No thanks, mate. Pass.¡±


    ¡°Bern, bro,¡± Wex the wood-elf cut in, his mask removed to show off his dark skin and even darker eyes. ¡°Mask has granted me the power to scare the undead. It¡¯s right.¡±


    Bern soaked that in, and then nodded. Yenrab motioned with his hand, using a broken bit of Thieves Cant that Bern had told him meant hurry up (but actually meant I am a giant talking turd with a lot of money. Please rob me.)


    Tracy, though, twirling in strange ballerina-like pivots and slides behind them, all at once stopped.


    ¡°One-thousand gold pieces,¡± she stated in a coquettish lilt. ¡°And a few magic items.¡±


    Then she raised her fist and winked at Bern.


    ¡°Power to the People.¡±


    ¡°Yeah!¡± Bern agreed. ¡°Power to the People!¡±


    Carric fiddled a bit with his lute and stepped forward to take over negotiations.


    ¡°That¡¯s one-thousand gold dollars -¡± the faraway Lord of the Gamers sighed - ¡°and a few magic items. Take it or leave it.¡±


    The Diplomat looked as if he were about to start to argue, his finger raised to make a point, and the lord looked as if he were already ready to oppose the Diplomat, no matter what it was that he actually said, but the general spoke loudly and in a commanding voice that shut both up rather quickly.


    ¡°One-thousand gold pieces, er, dollars and a few magic items, but you guys lift the damnable curse then,¡± he growled.


    ¡°Deal,¡± Carric smiled. Yenrab took the opportunity to run away from the room in a strange waddle, his thick orcish legs bouncing him back and forth like a toddler learning to walk. But Bern and Wex slapped hands and Tracy cheered, making jazz fingers at the moon goddess, whatever that meant.


    ¡°Say,¡± Carric asked out of the blue. ¡°Why did we get the job and not the party SOG?¡±


    It was the general¡¯s turn to smile, his eyes stony and satisfied at a deal well done. ¡°Oh, Some Other Guys? They got the job first. There was just nothing left of them when we came back to pick them up.¡±

 Chapter 2 - Tracy鈥檚 Got a New Spell

    <h2> </h2>


    The sky was dark blue and the sun hot and cheerful. White fluffy clouds grazed deeply upon the horizon, looking so much like the snowy mountain caps upon which the giants were reported to dwell. The breeze was light, pleasant, and constant.


    The party, though, well contrasted against the happy day around them. The ship¡¯s crew busily avoided them as they worked the lines and wheel, keeping their vessel, Sir Boaty McBoatface, on path and on time.


    Seriously? The vague voice of one of the Gamers asked.


    A vague and authoritative murmur dismissed the question in the distance. The party refocused  on each other and the task at hand.


    ¡°There was nothing left of them when we came back to pick them up. Balls!¡± Bern moaned, looking off a bit into the distance. There better be a hoard of treasure when we get there, he contemplated, dark thoughts stretching out like daggers back to when they got owned.


    Carric the bard smiled, though, and strummed his lute.


    ¡°It could be bad. It could be horrible! But we¡¯ve done bad and horrible. Remember when we were first level nothings and we saved the world?¡±


    ¡°Yeah!¡± Yenrab the barbarian piped in. ¡°We saved our world! Ya know, this is gonna be a breeze compared to that. At least it isn¡¯t a god or the king of the fairies or anything like that this time, right?¡±


    Wex coughed, the mask of his god Mask glinting hard in the sunlight of the dark blue sky.


    ¡°As far as we know, bro, it¡¯s both,¡± Wex noted. The group fell silent. About them bustled the boat folk, eager to drop off this party of five onto the monster-infested island keep before them and then be off.¡±


    ¡°Hey!¡± Yenrab said, rising with his own grin to replace the one that Carric had lost. ¡°I have an idea. Back in the tribe when times were hard and morale was low we¡¯d, well, you know, we¡¯d sing songs.¡±


    ¡°What kind of songs?¡± Tracy asked with sudden interest. ¡°Back in the Freemeet we¡¯d sing songs too. But not just when we were sad. When we were happy too. And when we were angry. Or hungry. Or, like, when the moon was rising into the sky and it was night and -¡±


    Bern Sandros put a hand to his temples, rubbing them as anger clouded his vision.


    ¡°Tracy?!¡± the man asked.


    ¡°Yes Bern?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s enough about songs, mate. It¡¯s not gonna happen,¡± the cantankerous assassin grunted, his face dark and distant.


    Tracy nodded and took two steps back.


    Oh no his mind warned.


    ¡°Laaaaaaaaa -¡± Tracy began.


    ¡°Tracy!¡± Bern shouted.


    ¡°Laaaaaaaaa -¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare -¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s build a snowman! We can give him lots of arms-¡±


    ¡°Gaaah!¡± Bern loudly grumped as Tracy sang a merry tune. Wex laughed and Bern gave him an angry look. The cleric, though, simply shrugged. Then he weaved some sort of orangish gold field about himself, divine threads radiating to his fingers from the eye holes of his mask. It flared as it finished and then it finished. Wex put his arms behind his head and relaxed, sighing without sound.


    Carric also shrugged and began to play accompaniment to Tracy, whose sorcerer¡¯s robes were at this point swinging and sighing back and forth in rhythm, glimmering and shimmering in chaotic swirls and whorls in the rainbow robes of his craft. Yenrab nodded, an enormous grin occupying his face, and then he moved over and sat down next to the grumpy assassin. Bern gave the man a look over, his face rigid as he wondered what sort of conversation was about to be pushed his way.


    ¡°So what¡¯s up, Bern?¡± the big half-orc asked his friend. ¡°We¡¯ve faced bad odds before and, well, think about how many of those, uhm, experience points that the Gamers use we¡¯ll get a hold of. Maybe we can even level up before the next session! It can¡¯t be that you¡¯re scared, ya know, because I¡¯ve seen you swinging through the air from three stories to try and kill the big baddy. You¡¯ve got what Granny always told me was gumption. She used to drain that from the animals she caught before she ate them.¡±


    ¡°She ate them raw, right? Every time you talk about your grandma it is disgusting,¡± the human said, the shadow of a smile creeping over him.


    ¡°You got that right. Ya know, she said it didn¡¯t taste quite right if it didn¡¯t squeal. But I¡¯m just wondering what is on your mind. We¡¯re friends, hey, we can talk.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just that we really got bested by the general back there. And it made me think - when can us little guys be the besters instead of the bestees? Are we just rolling around from mission to mission, adventure to adventure, making ends meet? Are we saving up for a better tomorrow? Mate, I have no idea what I¡¯m doing.¡±


    Yenrab sighed. He was younger than them all and yet, often, he had the clearest head. He maybe wasn¡¯t the wisest adventurer, but perhaps he had the best philosophies on life.


    ¡°Bern, you know, all we can do now is rise. And we¡¯ve been rising. That party, Some Other Guys, they were the best around. They thought that nobody was gonna keep them down. Think about that. The best, around. Ya know, I bet they fought till the end, staying proud, staring out to the clouds, when the odds in the game finally defied them. And now that¡¯s us. But we aren¡¯t like that. We aren¡¯t like some strange heroic montage that¡¯ll get murdered the moment the Gamers lose interest. We¡¯re going to get somewhere in life. We¡¯ve got skills. We¡¯ve got plans. We¡¯ve got strategy -¡±The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got Tracy,¡± the sorceress interrupted, her song finished. The air sparkled with magical cantrips about her as she attempted to emphasize the moment.


    ¡°Carric too!¡± the bard added, smirking in that odd way that showed he knew he was caught in some lame after-school special type moment and he was just making the best that he could of it.


    Wex began snoring, his holy spell of silence finally at an end. It was a rough and guttural sound that snapped him back to wakefulness.


    ¡°You guys done singing,¡± he asked, his words groggy and slow.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Tracy smiled. ¡°It was wonderful and you missed all of it.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Wex yawned.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to get somewhere for sure guys,¡± Carric Smith informed them as a catch of spray blasted over them, smooth and cool. A drop of lake water dripped down from a pointed ear. ¡°Remember that orphanage in Torus Strade? I bought the place. And that¡¯s where I¡¯m going to retire.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Life in a small village doesn¡¯t sound so bad,¡± Bern Sandros grinned, nodding at the idea. ¡°But really, if I can, I just want to help all of my mates out back home. You know, some of them deserve to be out there on the streets, but not all of them. Maybe I¡¯ll make a guild and get them some good paying and honest work.¡±


    ¡°Honest?¡± Tracy asked, one eyebrow arched in inquisition.


    ¡°Mostly honest then,¡± he chuckled. ¡°Alright, yeah, we coulda shoulda woulda asked for more my friends but, hey, one day it¡¯ll be us that some new adventurers are whinging on about, right?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. I can¡¯t wait to be grand poombah, chocka full magic and with acolytes running around doing all of my stuff for me,¡± Wex daydreamed aloud. ¡°But I¡¯m going to take quests in a new direction. Can you imagine all the things you can do with a, as the Gamers say it, first level party under your command? Welcome adventurers to your first quest, I¡¯ll say. You must travel to the market and obtain the lamb of sustenance using naught but your adventuring skills and the coins in your pocket.¡±


    ¡°Haha that is top kek, mate,¡± Bern threw to him. The elf beamed back.


    ¡°I¡¯d make my adventurers give Yenrab a bath,¡± Carric smirked.


    ¡°I will never ever allow myself to smell as I did in Torus Strade,¡± the half-orc barbarian stated as he failed to suppress a shudder. ¡°I had to roll around in muck for days even after the damnation bound curse was lifted.¡±


    ¡°Well, mates, we¡¯ve got some time before we get there,¡± Bern Sandros said, standing up to face them. ¡°I for one can use some zeds. Rest up and pick your spells, right Yenrab?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yenrab agreed. ¡°Sounds like a heck of a plan.¡±


    For the rest of the voyage they napped, dreaming pleasant dreams of handing off all of the crap jobs to lower level nobodies, and perhaps not having to hear or deal with the grief of the Gamers any longer. All except Tracy, who dreamed of going bald and shining his head with the wax of the babaturt, its prized excretions found only in the lands of the Freemeet.


    ***


    ¡°¡®Ips up and arms out ¡®venturemen, we¡¯ll be back dis time in da morrow, ya ken?¡± one of the sailors, hairy like a bear and missing more than a few teeth, spat at them in a friendly attempt at conversation.


    ¡°Ew,¡± responded Tracy, now a man since his male id had taken over. He wiped the saliva off of his face and tasted it.


    ¡°I ain¡¯t kenna da gurl t¡¯ing do,¡± the sailor continued. His accented Common sounded Frostmountian. If so he was a long way from home.


    Dice clattered in the air, unheard by any but the party.


    ¡°Ah, it took me a bit to get that,¡± Carric informed the man, a 17 blazing in his head. ¡°See here, let me explain. Tracy is anointed by his god Coraellon. Not one of the native gods but one of the foreign gods. And this god, well, he can give elves and half-elves his mark. If they have that mark they change genders every now again. And, well, I don¡¯t know if maybe Tracy here is extra-marked or something, but he¡¯s got three of him inside that noggin of his and they just kinda take turns driving.¡±


    ¡°Huh,¡± answered the sailor, shaking his head in wonder. ¡°¡®Da gods and dere miracles.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s got that right,¡± Yenrab smirked, stretching out as they piled out of the small craft onto the thin strip of beach at the entrance to the keep.


    It certainly was something to see, Cadorna Keep. It wasn¡¯t large but it was tactical. Its outer walls had been built right up to the edge of the shoreline on every side but this one, with its walls slanted in to out in order to make scaling and climbing a very difficult task indeed. Certain magical fields kept the dirt from eroding, making the structure a multi-generational facet to a new and needful republic, and thick stone blocks lay within its shallow depths, driven through with rusted iron rings through which to moor visiting craft.


    The only place upon which anyone could land soldiers was this thin strip of beach, also buttressed against erosion, at the front gate of the entire structure. Maybe a few dozen soldiers, tops, had the room to assemble and fight effectively upon this sandy and rocky terrain, upon which a few straggly, leave-less and thin wooden plants also lived. It looked like an assaulters¡¯ nightmare. Or a defenders¡¯ paradise.


    The party rechecked their gear, looking about to make sure nothing was missing. Then they bid good-bye to the transport crew, who good-lucked them back as they left, shoving off hard from the sandy embankment.


    ¡°Well, bros and brahs, this is it. All on our own. In a place that is haunted. And a cleric that, get this, can finally turn! Buzzow!¡± Wex exclaimed, taking off his mask and doing a a tight little jig.


    ¡°Hey man, congratulations!¡± Bern said, slapping him on the back. ¡°You mentioned that before, mate. How did that happen?¡±


    ¡°Ah, well, as far as I can tell my Gamer was whining about something and the Chief Gamer gave in and boom, I just felt wiser and more powerful.¡±


    ¡°I wish my Gamer was a whiny whiner,¡± Carric complained. ¡°I¡¯ve heard whispers from above that when I get to high enough level I can cast fireball!¡±


    ¡°Hold up, hold up,¡± Yenrab interrupted. ¡°Hi, ya know, Yenrab the half-orc barbarian here, what exactly is this stuff? What is turning and what is fireball?¡±


    Tracy held up his hand. Yenrab tried to ignore him. Tracy waved his hand and began to jump up and down. The rest of the party giggled, staying mum.


    ¡°Oh for the sakes of the gods. Yes, Tracy?¡± Yenrab groaned, though a hint of humor danced about his cheeks.


    ¡°Turning is when a cleric or priest of someone with god-bestowed power tries to use the god-bestowed power. What one can do with it and how many times they can do it depends on the god. A good god usually devotes a lot of energy to turning the undead, scaring them off or even destroying their essence. The neutral gods like Mask are kinda hit or miss on what they do and how often. And the evil gods, well they tend to try to use their energy to control or to recruit the undead.¡±


    Yenrab looked at Wex for confirmation. Wex nodded, looking quite impressed.


    ¡°Alright, that was pretty good Tracy,¡± the barbarian complimented him. ¡°So, now, what is this other thing. Fireball? A ball of fire?¡±


    ¡°Not exactly. It¡¯s more like, well, let me show you,¡± the sorcerer said, turning and chanting. All eyes were upon him as he blasted a group of reedy plants, exploding them into every direction simultaneously. Other plants nearby began to creep away from the blaze.


    Bern Sandros whistled. Wex clapped. Carric murmured something about having to choose a different spell.


    ¡°That¡¯s incredible!¡± Yenrab beamed. ¡°I¡¯ll admit, I was a little worried about this challenge, but with that in our weapons rack I¡¯m not worried at all! How many times can you do that Tracy?¡±


    ¡°Once per eight hour rest,¡± the half-elf sorcerer beamed back. ¡°I can¡¯t do it anymore until I¡¯ve slept a long time,¡± he explained further, still smiling as Yenrab¡¯s face dropped and paled, green turning to light, almost white green.


    ¡°Gods alive,¡± the half-human half-orc moaned. ¡°We¡¯re all doomed.¡±

 Chapter 3 - Bards, Shrooms, and Zombies

    <h2> </h2>


    One of the two great doors of the gateway hung broken and tired at a possibly impossible angle. The other lay more certainly upon the ground, straggly grass curling up and over its edges in a grasping and wispy grab for sunlight. The place was in rough shape.


    Ya know, Yenrab thought, shading his eyes from the glare of the overhead sun, it doesn¡¯t look that dangerous. It just looks sad . . . and in need of a fix up!


    They all stood clustered about the opening in a mob with Bern Sandros watching the right flank and Wex monitoring the left as Yenrab sheltered the spell casters Tracy and Carric in the center. They all stood in awe, mouths open and drooling.


    An open air dungeon! Yenrab enthused, trying to put a positive spin on his earlier thoughts. No cobwebs, no goblin zombie lords or skullator gem monsters under tons of rock and dirt. Just a brisk jaunt through a disaster 20 years passed. We don¡¯t need that stupid fireball spell. We¡¯ve got this and then some!


    The rest of the party EoTtHUaARB must have come to a similar conclusion because they oohed and aahed along with him at the adventure complex before them. They oohed because it lay completely deserted, filled with old and uninhabited buildings strewn throughout and peppered by thin reedy stalks of grass. They aahed because each and every one of them imagined individual specific treasures within each of those buildings, somehow ungotten by that legendary adventuring troupe, SOG. Then they shivered because the wind blew mournfully as if sad about the place¡¯s tragic past. A shutter banged on warped hinges, turning smiles to frowns and giving the place a bit more character than any of them wanted it to have.


    Yenrab stared daggers at Tracy as his emotional arc finished its rollercoaster course. He was back to feeling a mite grumpy about the needless waste of powerful magic.


    ¡°Tracy, ya know, we might well have needed that spell,¡± he nagged to the unlistening hippy from Freemeet. ¡°I¡¯m pretty certain the SOG didn¡¯t all get lost. It¡¯s not a big island.¡±


    Tracy looked about, his goatee a blowing a little in the wind. He threw out his arms in an exaggerated gesture and scrunched his face in tremendous confusion.


    ¡°You hear anything?¡± Tracy yelled to no one in particular. ¡°Because I sure don¡¯t. I¡¯ve got this thing, this curse, where I can¡¯t hear nags or even recognize that they are there.¡±


    Bern watched on with a small half grin playing at his lips. From the other flank of the group Wex snorted and then laughed, enjoying Yenrab¡¯s discomfort.


    The big half-orc sighed. Jerks he thought fondly, thinking over all they had already been through together.


    ¡°Well, someone tell Tracy to be careful anyways. We need to keep tactical,¡± Yenrab announced to them all, authority surrounding him. Then he paused and looked off for a bit. ¡°Pillion isn¡¯t around anymore to show us the ropes and, ya know, you all made me captain so let me captain us. Tracy stay in the middle, Carric move to the rear, Wex stay left, Bern stay right, I¡¯m gonna stay as the front. Let¡¯s move together and everyone keep a look out. Someone tell Tracy to tell someone to tell me since he can¡¯t hear or even recognize that I¡¯m here.¡±


    ¡°Maybe someone should tell someone to tell that nag that I can¡¯t heat that maybe he needs to apologize?¡± Tracy stated to the sky, stroking his goatee in philosophical thought.


    ¡°Mates, maybe I should sneak around a bit and see what I can see?¡± Bern Sandros asked, a greedy glint in his eye.


    ¡°And deal with some accidentally summoned monster or demon for our troubles? Again?!¡± Carric laughed. ¡°Once is enough of that, good sir.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me sir. I work for a living,¡± Bern retorted.


    ¡°Power to the people!¡± Tracy agreed.


    Doesn¡¯t that power to the people stuff ever get old the Gamer Chief asked at some celestial table far away. Never replied the Gamers with a laugh.


    ¡°Look,¡± Carric said, his face now serious, ¡°this place is strange and I don¡¯t believe for one second that it is empty. Let¡¯s listen to Yenrab and stay together. My bard powers work better with a group anyways. Maybe you can do sneaky rogue stuff when we get to the actual keep up ahead.¡±


    He pointed to the far end of the complex. There the keep stood solid despite its age, grey stones with grey mortar for the gaps, nary a crack in sight. Only its gates looked warped and bowed, but they stood closed and were perhaps stout. It was hard to tell from this distance.


    ¡°Ag, man. Shame. Alright mate. I guess I can hold my horses til then,¡± Bern Sandros agreed. ¡°We stay tight for some bliksem then I sneak when we get close. Got it.¡±


    ¡°Rattle ya dags, bro!¡± Wex stated, looking back behind them, where the plant life was slowly meandering over to where they stood. ¡°Else we¡¯re gonna cark it.¡±


    ¡°Um, right?¡± Carric agreed. The common tongue his friends used was sometimes quite foreign to him. But he thought he understood the context. ¡°Let¡¯s move on and let those plants lose interest then, shall we?¡±


    With Yenrab in the lead the five of them headed forward, all tense and at the ready. Ahead the gloomy and fire blackened yet sturdy barracks houses of the immediate garrison hung dark and gritty, their very visage a warning to would be seekers of fortune. The shutters clacked again against their sides in the freshening gust of lake born wind.


    ¡°Maybe Bern really should go ahead and scout things out,¡± Wex suggested with a mask-hidden grin.


    ¡°Sard-off mate,¡± Bern chuckled. ¡°If you thought it¡¯d be safe you¡¯d volunteer yourself off next to me.¡±This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Carric smiled, ¡°Sounds like neither of you has the guts to go forward.¡±


    ¡°Ya know, if I were mocked by a bard,¡± Yenrab nodded, to Carric¡¯s drooping face, ¡°I¡¯d feel the need to push ahead and prove myself.¡±


    A staccato of more distinct Gamer voices blasted into hearing. The party members winced.


    That¡¯s cruel, man.


    Nah, that¡¯s realistic. Bards suck.


    You suck.


    Your mo-


    Guys stop it. Look, how about Carric goes forward and shows us what guts really are.


    Okay, I guess I will!


    ¡°I, uh, I feel like I should have a bit more choice in this matter,¡± Carric protested to no one in particular. ¡°But I guess it¡¯s my turn in the forefront.¡±


    ¡°Carric! Carric!¡± Tracy cheered on in support. The bard gave him a panicked shush and hurried himself forward to get it all done with.


    ***


    Carric stealthed ahead as well as he could. He couldn¡¯t hear his own steps, so that was probably a good thing. The wind gusted again, briefly, as if in response to his brave foray forward.


    This is not good. Not good not good not good he thought to himself in fright. He looked back at the party, growing a bit smaller as they got more distant. Tracy danced and waved.


    He was next to the first of the two military structures. They weren¡¯t that big, really, but he imagined that soldiers were like clowns in that they could all pile into those tiny enclosed carts in impossibly compact knots of people encompassing a hundred or so individuals. He certainly wasn¡¯t looking forward to clacking a shutter fully open against the walls and poking his head in.


    The bard took a quick stroll around the building, giving himself a quiet sigh as a gift for such bravery. Then, again in the eyes of the party, he fully opened one of the shuttered window apertures and peered inside.


    The interior was filled with broken and splintered wood, the remains of the bunks and chests of the original defenders. They were indeed stacked together quite tight, perhaps capable of holding thirty defenders? It was hard to tell, though, because the place looked well smashed up and looted.


    The bard looked back and yelled out to them.


    ¡°It¡¯s well clear you bunch of yellow-bellied chickens. You are welcome.¡±


    Yenrab started laughing, striding ahead in eager pace. There was some distant muttering, and also the loud cheering of Tracy, as they all moved forward.


    That¡¯ll teach them to besmirch my honor he chuckled to himself. Shown up and mocked by a bard?! How pathetic!


    ***


    The party checked out both of the barracks buildings from the outside quite thoroughly before readying themselves for the interior. Whether it was the shame of being shown up by a bard or perhaps a lack of things to say nobody could tell you, but Wex and Bern kept their mouths shut through the whole process. It wasn¡¯t until they were standing before the actual door to one of the structures that Bern, the noisier of the two, finally spoke.


    ¡°I¡¯ve checked it this way and that, mates. Free from traps, good as platinum in my pocket. If there is anything dangerous here, it is going to be spooky and not at all in my department of things to deal with.¡±


    Yenrab stretched and Carric swung his harmonica bar across his face, its burnished surface catching in the sun for a momentary bit of glare. Next to him Tracy rolled his hands in slow purpose around a dim and pulsing ball of flame. It was a definite zeroth level cantrip but something probably useful against all manner of spooky things.


    ¡°Well I guess now might be a good time for us to go in then?¡± the barbarian asked them all, looking back and forth between those on either flank.


    Tracy shimmered by in rainbow-glittered robes, taking an advantageous angle. ¡°Let¡¯s do this,¡± the sorcerer grinned, glowing orb pulsating more brightly, possibly leveled up from its earlier state.


    ¡°Right. Yeah, ya know, I think I¡¯d like it better if this place were full of zombies,¡± the big man complained in response. He reached one meaty hamlike hand forward though despite his reluctance and threw open the door. But there was nothing.


    ¡°Bro,¡± Wex whispered, ¡°this is spooky.¡±


    Then he found himself stumbling into the room, shoved by some unseen force. He looked back in panic and saw Bern Sandros stifling a laugh. The glee of the merry man was infectious and Wex smiled back while digging about quickly and thoroughly for hidden treasures. The rest swarmed in to do the same.


    ¡°I found a button,¡± Tracy called out in glee.


    ¡°Yuck,¡± Carric called out, holding a moldering scrap of soiled underpants.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s enough of that,¡± Yenrab affirmed, waving everyone out. ¡°We¡¯ve still got a whole keep to search.¡±


    ***


    The buildings closest to them were the stout and stone castle-like kitchen, some lanky and disused stables, and what looked to be the remains of a silo, one that must have been quite tall a few decades ago. At present, what was left of it was stunted, the majority of it having collapsed during the battle for the keep or soon after. It was at a distance but they could see that the silo was bereft of anything but a field of large mushrooms, growing through bare earth and out of the cracks of broken rubble.


    ¡°Jol!¡± ¡°Mean as!¡± ¡°Sweet!¡± the bard, the rogue, and the cleric all yelled at the same time, then laughed, making a beeline for the silo.


    ¡°Oh no,¡± Yenrab moaned, shaking his head slowly as the party hunched over their find, daggers in hand, ready to prune. ¡°Not again,¡± he added, giving a bit of mystery to the interested reader as he or she or they hunched over the flickering light of their dying kindle, or the stout pages of the published novel.


    Tracy eyed them over, the Gamer rolling enthusiastically as he tried to figure out what it was. The 20 sided die clicked and rolled off of the cosmic table.


    ¡°Noni Moss,¡± Tracy said, a 13 blazing in his mind¡¯s eye. ¡°Not a real moss, but one in name. Eating it makes you a bit wiser and have a good taste in novels for a while, but it¡¯s not gonna get you all high.¡±


    ¡°Are you being straight up?¡± Wex asked, his eyes suddenly empty of their former joviality. ¡°Brah, I really thought we had something here.¡±


    ¡°No worries, mate, this stuff here sounds good regardless,¡± Bern opined, to Yenrab¡¯s nodding approval.


    ¡°Yeah, I bet we can sell it big at some market somewhere and use that money to get the good stuff,¡± Carric laughed, making the barbarian frown all over again.


    The big guy didn¡¯t stop them though from gathering all they could, stuffing one small travel pack and then the other full of the delicious-looking fungi. He too could hear the clink of gold coins in his head as the useful fungus was bottled, bagged, or otherwise stored.


    Indeed, so absorbed were the party in the collection and perusal of the task at hand that they didn¡¯t realize it when the ground behind them tore open, silent and deadly. Nor did they hear the click of bones and the rasp of dead flesh as zombies and skeleton crawled on out to do battle. They only realized their danger when Carric screamed, punched in the back of the head by a skeletal fist. He stumbled, but he did not fall.


    Roll initiative! a distant voice called in their heads.


    ¡°To arms!¡± Yenrab yelled, fumbling with his axe straps in surprise.

 Chapter 4 - Death, Booze, and Char Man Dar

    <h2> </h2>


    The assassin Bern Sandros was panting, quite exhausted. The undead just kept coming. The ground would open up every minute or so and a few more of them would scramble out. And they did so quickly. You couldn¡¯t keep them from coming out. He¡¯d tried.


    About him it was all chaos. The bard was breathing hard and bleeding harder, having scrambled out of a ripping and tearing hoard by just the skin of his teeth. He had gotten struck, again and again, by sharp and bony fingers. But the man had come a long way from where he had started. His rapier had schicked out from its scabbard ¡®Momma¡¯s Little Dumpling¡¯ in an instant and he was fending them off with thrusts, dodges, and clangs. His lack of an edge, though, posed little threat to his fleshless adversaries. Still, the charismatic music man had reserves of magic at his call and Bern had a feeling those were going to come into play at any moment now.


    Yenrab had lost his great axe in the scuffle and dropped into a battle crouch. A hand axe gleamed in each hand as he chopped and punched about himself. Cracked and broken bones littered the ground about the behemoth, his face pinched into anger and his body sweating fiercely as the sun dipped and darkened towards sunset.


    Wex was weaving somewhere to the right, kicking and chopping at a gaggle of zombies that seemed to grow in number more often than it lost. Still he had turned them and a few had run off to the gods knew where.


    And Tracy was doing Tracy stuff. That damn Freemeetian ducked here and dodged there, chaotic in nature and spirit. Bern couldn¡¯t grasp what tactics were in play, but the sorcerer seemed to know what he was doing. He¡¯d disappear around a building and show up somewhere unexpected, blasting with magic or crossbow at whatever enemy was in range. It was an impressive display to watch - it would have been more so were Bern himself not busy slashing, hacking and dodging skeletons and zombies himself. But he himself was bleeding more than a little, and his immediate prognosis of the battle was not good.


    ¡°Retreat!¡± the human gasped. ¡°Now now! We need to get out of here.¡±


    ¡°To the gate!¡± Yenrab agreed, shouting commands. ¡°Carric open up a lane with some of that thunderwave blast of yours. Everyone get ready to run through.¡±


    That¡¯s gonna be a lot of attacks of opportunity the Gamers moaned in their heads. Dice clattered, rolled, and fell. Destinies were determined. And the sound of a door opening clanked through their heads. Nick they yelled, in grateful appreciation. What¡¯s up guys? How¡¯s it going?


    A red-scaled reptilian humanoid, its eyes alien and strange, popped out groggily from the rotted and sagging stables and surveyed the scene. Char Man Dar Bern exclaimed within his head, realizing that at least one of the Some Other Guy party had survived. He looked quite cut up and weak, but his eyes looked vengeful, though as a reptile perhaps they always looked that way.


    ¡°I¡¯m quite knackered, mates,¡± he growled, his tone forboding, ¡°but this ruckus has got to end!¡± He opened his maw and sprayed flame over the zombies congregated about Wex, earning a smile of appreciation.


    ¡°Thanks bro,¡± he threw out, a bit out of breath.


    The zombies about him burned and dropped quite quickly, and Char Man Dar moved out into the combat, a solid chest plate in place, and a long sword and shield at the ready. He was the Reptile of the Reaches, the Drinker within Dungeons, and apparently, the sole survivor of his party.


    ¡°Guys I¡¯m gonna need some help here,¡± he mentioned, quite loudly, as he cut down a skeleton and then was knocked to the ground from behind.


    Yenrab looked over at Wex, whose foes had been vanquished, and then he looked at the reptilian dragonborn, whose skin color well meant danger. The chromatic dragons, and their humanoid mixed kin, were generally very selfish and hateful. But so we think. So are the orcs and half-orcs, often enough. Maybe I need to think about this right.


    Rising from his battle crouch, Yenrab barreled through his enemies in a straight charge, knocking undead this way and that with his tremendously muscular frame. Then he dropped down and rolled taking a few hits as he did so, but grabbing the man up in his grasp.


    ¡°Ya know, us folk heroes gotta stick together,¡± he mentioned as he rolled Char Man Dar out of harm¡¯s way.


    Why do I have to start the game with low hps? the New Gamer complained.


    Because it fits the story. Just roll with it!


    Carric clanged and stabbed, then let out a blast from his mouth flute, a clever little instrument of his designed and then made for combat. It was a harmonica wired to a helm that could be slapped shut over his face, leaving his hands free for other things. From it came the majestic sound claps of his thunderwave attack, throwing zombies and skeletons out of the way, and clearing a good path for the desperate adventurers.


    ¡°I found a secret entrance,¡± the half-elf bard joked from around his harmonica, one eye swollen and a bloody gash upon his cheek. ¡°But seriously, come on guys, let¡¯s get out of here.¡±


    The party all nodded to each other in agreement. There was no time like the present to get a move on. Yenrab staggered under the weight of the hefty, red-scaled Char Man Dar, but his legs pumped powerfully, keeping pace with the masked cleric Wex and the rainbow-robed sorcerer Tracy. Bern Sandros swung arcs about the rear, back and forth, facing outward to fight anything that dared to come too close to them. His dual blades gleamed deadly in the setting sun.


    ¡°So what¡¯s the plan, Yenrab?¡± Tracy asked as they moved.


    ¡°Well, ya know, not dying I guess,¡± he huffed back. The dragonborn were very heavy beings as the half-orcs muscles could now well attest to.


    ¡°So not, maybe, blasting those plants at the entrance and turning the gate into a makeshift fort?¡± Tracy asked?


    ¡°I guess?¡± Yenrab answered. He looked at the sorcerer with a bit of hope.


    ¡°And then we could set up a nice little fort there and rest up and maybe get healed and I can get my fireball back?¡± Tracy continued.


    ¡°Uh, yeah?¡± Yenrab said, starting to smile.


    ¡°Great plan, Captain,¡± Tracy winked, ¡°I guess that¡¯s why we put you in charge.¡±


    Yenrab¡¯s sweaty face broke into a broad smile. Sweat tribbled down into it, tasting like so many snozzberries.


    ¡°I guess so. Alright everybody, here¡¯s what we¡¯re gonna do . . .¡±


    ***


    The plants had been a quick fight - they burned easily and gave some welcome light to those without night sight. And throwing together a makeshift rampart from the debris of the gates wasn¡¯t difficult either. Especially with Char Man Dar back on his feet. He was heavy for good reason, and his large muscles worked well alongside Yenrab¡¯s making the task quick and efficient.


    From atop the fort of rubble the fight slid well into their favor, with Carric even breaking into song, a drinking chanty that the others soon gleefully joined in with. ¡°Ninety-nine zombies and skeletons in all,¡± they all sand, ¡°Ninety-nine zombies and skeletons! We smash one down, hack all around, Eighty-nine zombies and skeletons in all.¡±


    ¡°Brah, that was amazing,¡± Wex spoke to them all, reliving the glory turning the tables on the keep¡¯s denizens. ¡°We were all going to die, and then we weren¡¯t. And we got ourselves a pet dragonborn.¡±


    ¡°Ha!¡± the new man, Char Man Dar said. He was applying some sort of ointment to his red scaled flesh and wincing, but seemed to be in good humor.


    ¡°Great tunes, mate,¡± Bern told Carric, punching him in the shoulder. The bard smiled back at him.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    ¡°Yeah, it seemed the right thing to do at the time. I still have a bit of magic left in me so that we can heal a little, but I¡¯m going to have to get some rest if you all want to be bumped up to max hp.¡±


    You can¡¯t say that! Complained a voice in their heads. That¡¯s gotta be metagaming!


    I dunno man. It¡¯s not really a big deal. Just pretend he said it in some way that makes sense in the game universe.


    ¡°So, as I was saying, I¡¯m going to have to get some sleep if you all want to get completely healed,¡± Carric said, shaking away the strange sense of deja vu that suddenly came over his body. They all looked at each other a little uncomfortably.


    ¡°What in the Seven Hells was that?¡± Char Man Dar demanded, his grin gone from his face.


    ¡°The Gamers,¡± Yenrab shrugged. ¡°There used to be just one of them and now there¡¯s a whole clan. They¡¯re like gods maybe? Ya know I don¡¯t know but I think I¡¯m like their door to the world. And so are the rest of you in some way. Anyways they actually seem helpful and, ya know, they¡¯ve steered us right so far, I think. If you stick around with us you¡¯ll get used to it.¡±


    ¡°Right? Bugger it, whose got some booze eh?¡± the dragon man asked around, letting the incident fly far and away to a place where it wouldn¡¯t weigh upon his mind.


    Wex took his mask off, beaming. ¡°I love the accent, bro. Ghanizitkaro?¡±


    Char Man Dar¡¯s teeth showed sharp as he approximated a human smile. ¡°Yeah mate, Lavaros.¡±


    ¡°Same!¡± Wex exclaimed. ¡°Horrid place that. I left when I had the money to. Took a decade.¡±


    ¡°I killed a slaver and fled. Anyways, bro, got some brews?¡± the dragonish warrior asked with a snort and a meaningful stare, ¡°Let¡¯s have a piss-up.¡±


    ***


    Nights on a rocky and sandy beach in the middle of the largest freshwater lake in the world can be a little frigid at night, with the cool water mists sprayed this way and that, lifted and carried across the sandy embankment often and with effort. But none of the Exterminators of Things that Hurt Us and Are Really Bad minded much because Wex had a surprising amount of potent brew in a surprising number of places. It also helped that the debris from the living plants of previous were well combustible and made for a great campfire. Yenrab slept as the rest partied, diluting the various liquors with water from the lake in order to extend them.


    Char Man Dar snorted and hacked, breathing loudly through his mouth.


    ¡°I bet Yenrab¡¯s grandmom would have liked you,¡± Carric laughed, his face blushed pink with knock-off whiskey.


    ¡°Brah is that right?,¡± the big lizard panted, hacking another wad of something into the dirt. ¡°He¡¯s a big fella, isn¡¯t he?¡±


    The sound of chortling laughter echoed off the walls of the keep, coming from the whispering waves of the shore. Bern, Wex and Tracy were having a blast, whatever they were doing.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Carric Smith agreed, watching the fiery embers rising up and up, trying to become one with the sky. ¡°So are you. It¡¯s a world with big fellows, big beasts, big monsters - and if they aren¡¯t big they¡¯ve got magic!¡± he laughed a little drunkenly.


    ¡°Yeah life isn¡¯t fair, mate.¡± the dragon man reflected, the flames of the camplight shimmering in his liquid lizard eyes. ¡°I had a party just like this.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Some Other Guys,¡± Carric gushed and then awkwardly faltered. ¡°Oh right.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I was their Yenrab I guess. Every party has got to have a big one. But they all got killed,¡± Char Man Dar panted out heavily. Then he snorted and hacked again, before tipping back fiery brew into his maw.


    ¡°Ya know, bro, we never drank when we were on missions. Some Other Guys, we were just solid. We¡¯d go in, take care of business, then blast the money on booze.¡±


    Carric nodded. ¡°Yeah you guys really had it all put together. There was Aaron Swingshot, the rogue legend who was a crack shot with a bow. There were Rachel Viper and Ross Man, the wizardress and warlock, human and tiefling couple whose magical skills and tactical acumen synergized and made two hold the power of five. And of course there were David and Britni, the odd couple, the Tinker Gnome and his human bardic bride. His steam-powered devices were very very unreliable and could be deadly but he had some sort of lucky streak that had just kept him going. And the lightning guitar he had built for Britni was powerful so long as one had black lumps of coal with which to power it.¡±


    Char Man Dar just stared at him.


    ¡°You know all of this. I don¡¯t know why I said it all. Exposition, I guess?¡± Carric Smith stammered defensively. ¡°That sounds like something the Gamers might make me do. Though I¡¯m not tasting any Mountain Dew, and that is one of the signs.¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter,¡± Char Man Dar said, hacking again. ¡°Maybe there¡¯s some other being up there. Probably bald and a bit fat sitting at the head of some cosmic table and making us do things. Sounds like something the world would have.¡±


    Something splashed into the lake and Tracy, Wex, and Bern laughed sharp and loud, their guffaws bringing a smile to Carric¡¯s own lips. Char Man Dar remained sullen, though the bard had no idea what he would look like happy.


    Carric pursed his lips. Something was bothering him about all of this. It had been way too easy, really. Some Other Guys were a powerful band of adventurers and if those were the monsters of the keep, well, how had they been defeated?


    ¡°Char, hey, how like,¡± Carric paused, not sure how to proceed, ¡°how did you all not beat the keep?¡±


    The big red lizard man shook, wheezy, snotty laughs racking through his body. It wasn¡¯t merry, though. It was sad and maybe even a little creepy.


    ¡°We did,¡± he said, looking away whilst tipping more liquor into his maw, ¡°but they just kept respawning and coming back.¡±


    ***


    ¡°Guys! Guys!¡± The alcoholic fog that pleasantly warmed his brain had blasted away, falling into the extreme clarity of terror. ¡°Guys!¡± Carric shouted again for good measure.


    He was sprinting, his rapier in hand. Behind him a drowsy Yenrab lurched to his feet, fast alert to the sounds of danger. Char Man Dar just sat, though, shaking his head with his face in his hands.


    It was too late. Of course it was too late. The ground shook a bit as fissures opened. How the timing had worked out so well was a mystery, but Carric bet that the Chief Gamer might well have had a hand with it.


    ¡°Hey it¡¯s Carric!¡± Tracy yelled in happiness, well into hir cups. The change had come upon hir again, maybe due to all of the merriment. Carric wasn¡¯t sure how it all worked. Behind hir, Bern and Wex cheered.


    ¡°Come out for a bit of fun mate?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he yelled in a hard pant, ¡°the undead! They come back.¡±


    The zombies and skeletons scrambled out of the ground, disjointed in their rapidity. They clicked and rasped in their movements but otherwise made no sound.


    ¡°Damn the Gods,¡± Bern cursed. He looked powerless standing there stripped to his undergarments and soaked in lake water. Tracy and Wex were in a similar situation. And all of them were weaponless.


    ¡°Of all the bloody times this could be happening,¡± Wex agreed.


    Shoot. Shoot! Carric checked himself as he ran and realized both his harmonica and lute were back at the fire. This was not going to be easy.


    ¡°Raaagh!¡± Yenrab bellowed from down the beach. He wielded two battle axes for this fight, and used his bare feet for extra damage. Carric watched just long enough to see him smash down two zombies and then punt a skeleton in the surf.


    Ahead of him stood a rotted party of undead. Three skeletons and two zombies. The enemies focused on him for some reason, though Bern, Wex and Tracy were still there and closer, out in the lake water surf.


    Something itched in his head. That wasn¡¯t right, he noted, trying to figure things through. One of the skeletons moved in on him, throwing a punch. He dodged the ragged bony figure, ineffectively stabbing its zombie comrade through behind it. Some random lurch, though, knocked the rapier out of his grasp and threw him to the ground. Crap.


    ¡°You shambling creatures. You rotten beasts. You garbage beings! To the Abyss, all of you,¡± he ranted, awkwardly scrambling in the sodden sand. He had to get to his feet. But they were right there. A zombie dropped down upon him, its teeth gnashing.


    ¡°You get off of him,¡± squealed a drunken Tracy, throwing a rounded stone that ze had retrieved from the lake floor. Whether it was by skill or by accident Carric would never know. Part of the zombie¡¯s head caved, its head popping out of its skull and spilling out gooey ichor all of Carric¡¯s face.


    The bard retched even as he took back to his feet and blindly ran. Bones clicked and clacked behind him. Everything was chaotic about him, he felt woozy with dots before his eyes. He was aware that Yenrab was storming down the beach, kicking chopping and smashing all enemies in his path. He was also aware that an unenthusiastic Char Man Dar was up and armed as well, a blade slashing and a shield bashing while a gout of flame blazed through the darkness. He ran, seeing it all through swimming vision and not really understanding it.


    I just gotta get moving, he thought in panic. It was behind him now and then the powerful chill of the pre-morning surf splashed and foamed about his feet, then his ankles, and then his knees. Bern Sandros caught him up in his arms and steadied him.


    ¡°You doing alright mate?¡± he asked, his eyes dulled with alcohol but alive with real concern.


    ¡°He¡¯s ¡®right,¡± Wex said, slapping him on the back. ¡°Put up a heck of a fight too. Well done bard man.¡±


    Water splashed hard nearby him, and Tracy surfaced, stones in each hand.


    ¡°They can¡¯t go in the water,¡± Tracy gasped, lake water sluicing over his face from strands of long and sodden hair. ¡°So let¡¯s just rock them until they go away.¡±


    The rest stared at him, then looked at each other, then stared at him again.


    The Monster¡¯s Manual says nothing about zombies and skeletons not being able to enter water, a high-pitched whiny voice exclaimed, presumably whilst pushing his glasses back up his nose with a finger.


    Who says this has to do with what kind of monster they are? The Chief Gamer boomed back, a smile evident in his voice. The voices faded.


    ¡°Right,¡± Wex said, pointing at the sky. ¡°The Gamers are onboard. Let¡¯s do this!¡±

 Chapter 5 - Save VS Identity

    <h2>Chapter 5 - Save Vs. Identify</h2>


    When the dead were all slain, the bodies cracked, smashed, and broken in a way that suggested the combat would have been both fiercely interesting and highly worth reading, they sank back into the earth. It was slow and not something readily recognized at first. But they sank all the same. Presumably the zombies and skeletons went off somewhere and spent time recycling and then they¡¯d all come back. Again and again and again if Char Man Dar were telling the truth.


    Tracy watched Char from a distance. Then from a space half as far. Then from right next to him. Char Man Dar seemed shell-shocked and his eyes showed hopelessness as well as lizard eyes could. He seemed defeated. Also he seemed uncomfortable, his eyes darting back to the half-elven hippy as his fingers touched and examined his red-scaled face.


    ¡°Mate,¡± the reptilian humanoid hacked and coughed, ¡°can I help you?¡±


    His tone suggested a lack of manners, as did his constant heavy breathing. But Tracy didn¡¯t mind. Ze began to breathe heavily as well, to put the dragon man at ease. Char Man Dar¡¯s reptilian face curled a bit around the eye ridges and he snorted and turned about, walking off to be alone.


    Definitely a lack of manners, the sorcerer thought, commending hirself on hir intuition.


    Tracy skipped and hopped over to see what Yenrab was up to. The large half-orc had taken a few scratches in the fight, but looked a heck of a lot better than the rest of them did. For one, he¡¯d had a decent rest before the dead had come back for another battle. And two, his danger sense seemed to be on active ping. His eyes pulled this way and that as they picked their way through the predawn ruin, carefully mapping the complex. There was no way to feel sleepy with that thing ringing through his skull.


    Tracy Riley smiled and did a bit of a twirl. Everyone was so spread out! They were fun to bound between, though when he came near to Bern Sandros the human gave him a look so dirty that he had to resist the urge to jump back into the lake.


    They were now circling a large central building to the keep. It had two doors, and multiple windows, with scratched panes of thick glass that could be looked through but with a bit of distortion. The strange angles that the window gave the objects inside made Tracy giggle, to a loud shushing from the rest of the party. The interior was amazing to look at. It was a building full of kitchen implements. There were blades, sinks, tubs, and ovens, yet it was also empty of dirt and bereft of some pretty obvious things. The space between the stone countertops was empty. There were no wooden chairs or tables. Some of the knives were missing their handles. It was baffling, bizarre, and not something Tracy was going to bring up because he¡¯d already been shushed twice.


    ¡°Hey, Char Man Dar, did you guys check out these buildings?¡± Yenrab called out, prompting the big dragon man to come stomping back over, his heavy breathing echoing between buildings.


    ¡°No,¡± he uttered in a growl, ¡°Not really. We got waylaid by pirates on the way over and were pretty bushed when we got here. We went in, fought the undead, set up camp, got attacked again. Beat them. Set up camp again. Things repeated and we were worn down.¡± Char Man Dar shuddered.


    The big half-orc nodded, looking at the kitchen with a wary eye.


    ¡°That building feels dangerous. Hey Bern, can you, ya know, check those doors for traps?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m on it Mate. I was on it yesterday,¡± the rogue boasted, swinging his arms this way and that, probing with feathery touch whilst scanning the air for fine threads or strange triggers. Finishing the one, he padded over to the other to repeat the task.


    ¡°Looks good to me, Yenrab,¡± Bern Sandros grinned, swinging the door open and out. The whole party looked in, seeing nothing that they hadn¡¯t seen already through the windows.


    ¡°The inside looks great too bro,¡± Wex noted, giving the place a discerning glare. ¡°Mark it on the map and move on?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, ya know, that sounds like a good plan but let¡¯s not and say we did. I really wanna just look inside and see if there is anything useful,¡± Yenrab told them, striding up to stand at the threshold. He nodded to them, smiling, his coiled hair looking nothing like portrayed on the cover of book one. He had a sense that this was not something he should know, but he rolled with it.


    ¡°Obviously there is absolutely nothing to worry about from this trap free and strangely clean kitchen building,¡± Yenrab told them, continuing to yammer on as he stepped inward.


    Suddenly the half-orc¡¯s skin began to burn and bubble, reddening and cracking as he opened his mouth to scream. His scream was silent, though, and seemed to cause even greater pain.


    ¡°Swole is the goal, eyes on the prize,¡± Bern muttered to himself, swinging around the door with his blades drawn and slashing. At what he didn¡¯t know but they met resistance, carving into some sort of clear gelatin, a large flap of it slopping out the door and carrying the burnt and choking Yenrab with it.


    Carric Smith ran forward, his harmonica swung into his mouth with the bar of his helmet.


    ¡°Phoot!¡± he sounded discordantly, the audio blast of a thunderwave rippling apart the thing inside the building. He watched with dismay as it wove itself back together again, though a bit smaller than before.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like this island,¡± Tracy called out, arcing a ray of flame into the gelatinous cube. ¡°Jelly should be eaten off of toast or served at breakfast dance moon parties, not given life and the ability to eat adventurers.¡±


    Wex stared at him, unable to comprehend the type of thought process that might lead one down such a road. Though he couldn¡¯t help but agree.


    ¡°Anyone have any bread?¡± Tracy asked.


    Wex continued to stare, his head beginning to pound.


    Blistered and burned, Yenrab gasped and then coughed, the sound harsh and bloody. About him the straggly grass steamed and singed in the gooey pool that rolled off of him. With a grunt of effort he pulled himself up by his kneecaps.


    ¡°Wex, Carric, anyone have some healing?¡± he asked with a pained but solid voice. He had been down but he was not out.


    ¡°Bro, neither of us completed a full rest,¡± Wex answered, looking guilty.


    ¡°I bet,¡± the barbarian coughed, standing up with a wince. Out of the acidic blob he looked a bit better, his skin burned but still there. His eyes remained undamaged, and though he was coughing some blood he wasn¡¯t racked over in death-bound agony.


    ¡°Rub some dirt in it!¡± Bern advised, grinning.


    Tracy, meanwhile, was quite busily using cantrips to burn and bubble the monster away. The rest of the party looked over at him, shrugged as Tracy finished off the monster and went inside to search for treasure, and set up camp. It was time to bind some wounds and use up some potions.


    ***


    Ribbit. Ribbit.


    Tiny frogs hopped back and forth between swampy reeds. The ancient armory looked to have become a froggy paradise or as much of one as any paradise can be. The air didn¡¯t steam but it was murky and thick with moisture, giving the old armory an atmosphere of its own.


    Yenrab moved on in, waving his arms in front of himself like a blind man. From a distance his comrades watched, well helped by the red healing liquor that was both expensive and so incredibly useful in this world of Gimmok.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    It wouldn¡¯t be so expensive if you followed the rules in the book, GM.


    Oh yeah, well my campaign, my rules. The Chief Gamer paused. Just pretend that they were patented and had their prices jacked up ten thousand percent if that makes you feel better.


    Oh man, that really doesn¡¯t make me feel better at all, a voice moaned, fading from their minds.


    ¡°What¡¯s a patent?¡± Tracy asked from the huddle outside the armory.


    Char Man Dar broke off his incessant gasping and gurgling to answer.


    ¡°That¡¯s something David the Tinker Gnome talked about. So something Teck-Nick-Al. I wouldn¡¯t bother with it mate. If it is tinkerish then it was made to someday fail.¡± The dragonic warrior paused, beathing hard out of his mouth. ¡°And when it does it¡¯s gonna go boom!¡±


    Char Man Dar emphasized the last word by spreading his hands outward, making guttural grunting noises and attempting the sounds of people burning alive.


    Tracy nodded, his eyes wide open in wonder.


    ¡°Hey Char, what¡¯s a patent?¡± he asked again.


    Char Man Dar swatted at him but the sorcerer twirled away to walk to the swamp¡¯s edge. Bern stayed alert, blade out and ready. Wex, though, was sitting on the ground against a wall. His mask hid his face and his companions were unsure if he was relaxing or sleeping.


    ¡°Wex,¡± Carric asked, prodding the elf with his foot. Silence fell to snores.


    The bags under Carric¡¯s eyes drooped in envy. You know, there isn¡¯t any law that says I have to stay up while mask boy here gets to snooze, he reminded himself. The bard shrugged his pack off of his back and lay down next to the guy. If there is any trouble Yenrab will wake me up.


    He began to snore almost immediately. Yenrab looked over them and sighed.


    ¡°Let them rest, mate. I got your back and Char,¡± Bern Sandros said, pointing at the red scaled figure brooding alone away from the rest of them, ¡°well he¡¯s up and proved himself good for a battle. And don¡¯t forget Tracy!¡±


    ¡°Yeah don¡¯t forget Tracy,¡± Tracy Riley agreed with a shout, returning from the swamp¡¯s edge. ¡°Also I saw something when I was over there.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Yenrab asked with curious suspicion. ¡°This isn¡¯t one of your strange Freemeet observations is it? We need to be serious ya know. Things are pretty rough right now Tracy.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Totally serious!¡± the half-elf looked about himself and then came up close and whispered into Yenrab¡¯s ear. ¡°There¡¯s a really shiny ax in that swamp armory. It is under the forge. And let me tell you this, it is not much of a forge. For one, it is all rusty and gunked up. Back in the Freemeet the Grand Sorcan had a forge that was shiny and clean. This thing is a disgrace!¡±


    ¡°Hey, what is going on?¡± the rogue assassin asked, creeping a bit closer.


    ¡°There¡¯s a really shiny ax under the rusted and gunked up forge,¡± the dutiful half-orc repeated. Tracy Riley stared back with a scandalous look upon his face, surprised that his secret had been so easily given up. ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna go take it.¡±


    ¡°You do that, mate,¡± Bern advised. ¡°But be careful for traps and let me know if anything comes up.¡±


    The half-orc barbarian nodded, though no one could quite see it. His danger sense had him on alert, but he couldn¡¯t for the life of him see why. He stepped further into the swamp of the armory, the frogs chirping higher and louder in surprise and possibly panic.


    ¡°No problems here,¡± he yelled back, noting that a number of sticky-toed frogs had fastened themselves to his body and were spitting strange-smelling goo upon him. Dice rolled in his head. Save versus Poison, man! ¡°The Gamers are doing something though.¡±


    ¡°Yeah I can hear that mate. Let¡¯s get this going. Did you get the ax yet?¡±


    ¡°Nah, ya know, I keep expecting some sort of danger. All I¡¯ve got are these little frogs hanging on me though, gobbing all over the place.¡±


    Another 20?! No way man, let me try those dice. A 5? I guess the die is fine. Alright roll one more time.


    It¡¯s like, well, my danger sense is telling me that something very bad should be happening, but all I¡¯m getting is a frog massage. Some lotion and oil. And, ya know, it¡¯s not half bad.¡±


    Three twenties in a roll? Seriously? That is horse crap! Jeez Louise. Alright, I¡¯m declaring that Yenrab is just simply naturally immune. Write that down on your character sheet.


    Sweet. I got a special ability for awesome organic rolls.


    ¡°Any idea what they are talking about, Yenrab?¡± Bern Sandros called, keeping his distance. He didn¡¯t need to, though, Yenrab thought. His danger sense ability had turned off. He had somehow moved away from the source of harm.


    ¡°Not really,¡± he called back, going down to his knees to seize ahold of the large axe before him. Even from under the shadow of the forge it gleamed and shined with that inner light innate to things of quality. The mud of the swamp slithered off of it as he held it aloft, just a small lump of it splatting over his already dirty face.


    So what is it? A +1 weapon? +2? Man this is awesome.


    Maybe you better go get it identified. I believe one of your spellcasters has the spell in his repetoire.


    ¡°Hey I got it!¡± Yenrab called back, his grin wide and teeth all sorts of decayed.


    ¡°Good deal mate,¡± the rogue responded. ¡°Bring that thing back here and let¡¯s get a move on.¡±


    The half-orc looked down at the tiny little frogs. Some had hopped off to be replaced with others. The gobbing and snotting continued.


    Eh let them ride. No harm no foul, the half-orc thought, the character and his Gamer absolutely unaware of the implications therein.


    The big man strode out of the swamp, his barbarian leggings somehow less dirty than they had been before. Not that the barbarian minded. Dirt added to his AC. What AC was he wasn¡¯t sure of, but the accuracy of the thought was as sure to him as the position of the sun in the sky.


    Bern Sandros saluted him with his weapon as he walked out of the swampy building and into the growing light. Looking about himself, Yenrab¡¯s eyes settled on the sleeping pair of magic users resting against the wall. Time to figure out what this thing is, he thought in excitement. He was giddy with that sort of feeling felt by those too young to understand the constancy of disappointment.


    He strode forward toward the bard and cleric, a skip in his step and a large smile on his face. He slowed as he neared them, his eyes flicking between them.


    Which one does the identify magic thingy? The Gamer asked.


    No metagaming, the GM smiled, something sinister in his voice. Some dice clattered and clacked ominously.


    ¡°Umm,¡± Yenrab paused, hesitant. Something felt extremely off, yet his danger sense was not tingling.


    ¡°Everything okay Yenrab?¡± Char Man Dar growled out from the perimeter, breathing noisily between syllables.


    ¡°Yeah, fine, all okay!¡± Yenrab smiled, reaching down and grabbing the cleric Wex by one bare arm.


    Roll a saving throw versus poison, man, the voice of the GM sounded again. This Chief Gamer guy seemed to be enjoying those words. Another voice, one of the Gamers, yelled out in shocked outrage.


    What the heck, man?


    As the barbarians hand dripped froggy muck over the suddenly very awake and gasping cleric, little frogs jumped off of him onto the figure. Wex began screaming.


    ¡°Oh Mask it burns! My heart, I think it stopped my heart.¡±


    Yenrab looked at him with concern, looked down at his goopy hands, then looked at the little froggies spitting new layers of goop upon his friend.


    ¡°Oops!¡± he said.


    ¡°Gaaaaah!¡± Wex replied.


    Char and Bern ran over while Carric started awake in panic.


    ¡°Gods alive, what is going on here?¡± the bard asked, scrambling away from the writhing cleric.


    ¡°Um, I think I accidentally poisoned him?¡± Yenrab answered. The barbarian looked sheepish.


    Ribbit. Ribbit.


    Sparks flew and then a torch flared as the groggy bard Carric, thinking fast, began to scorch frog things off of the cleric¡¯s body.


    Not fast enough man. They¡¯re draining me for 7 hp a round. Can¡¯t you thunderwave or something?!


    Fat chance. Everyone is tapped out on magic.


    I¡¯ve got an idea, the Gamer said. He was the original, the totem of Yenrab¡¯s tribe, and generally a wise bloke. The characters nodded to each other, looking relieved. Then Yenrab rubbed his hands off on the grass, picked up Wex by his ankles, and bashed him into the dirt chest first.


    ¡°Ack!¡± the cleric sounded, falling into dazed helplessness as his hit points dropped below zero.


    Oh my god! What was that?!


    I just saved you man. Right GM?


    Well, the frogs are dead, that¡¯s for sure. Make one more save versus poison for half damage.


    The dice rolled, bouncing twice before settled into a controlled spin. Seventeen! Cried the Gamers, joy evident in their voices as Wex the Cleric narrowly avoided the scythe of the reaper, hovering at death¡¯s door.

 Chapter 6 - Boss Battle

    <h2> </h2>


    ¡°So what did you need to wake up Wex for?¡± Carric asked conversationally. They had stabilized and bandaged the cleric, an action that somehow always took just ten seconds when performed. They were now busy throwing together a carrier for the elf off of the back of Char Man Dar. Wex was done for this particular quest.


    Yenrab¡¯s face blushed a little, his natural green mixing with pink.


    ¡°I, uh, well, ya know, I just a -¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, my friend, just spit it out.¡±


    The big half-orc held up his axe.


    ¡°I needed to find out what this is. I wanted him to cast identify.¡±


    Carric chuckled. Then he looked down at Wex, now sleeping peacefully from his trauma. Then he choked trying to stifle the laugh. Finally he just let it all out, laughing harder than he ever had.


    ¡°By all the Gods! Yenrab, you realize that he can¡¯t cast identify, right? As clerics go Wex is pretty useless to be honest,¡± the bard informed him after his fit was over. His face was smug as he said it. They all heard some muffled protesting from the Gamers but nothing distinct.


    ¡°Sweet,¡± Yenrab brightened. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure. So, uh, can you identify it for me?¡±


    He looked down at the sleeping Wex. I did him a favor, he thought, refusing to feel guilty. He needed his rest.


    Carric nodded. ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s a ritual spell so I¡¯ll have to spend ten minutes doing hokey magic stuff. And it will cost materials worth exactly one-hundred gold pieces to cast. So pile gems or coins or whatever down on the ground here and I¡¯ll get it figured out.


    The barbarian looked at Carric with an open mouth. Then he looked at Wex, the bulge of his coin purse easy to see against the fabric of his backpack.


    What¡¯s your alignment? The GM, Chief Gamer over the others, asked the First Gamer. There was a loud sigh.


    Yenrab cursed himself for having such evil thoughts and pulled out his coin purse, paying out most of its contents to the dirt before him. Carric smiled, and took out his lute, sitting down splay-legged as he tuned its strings.


    ***


    ¡°A great axe +2!¡± the half-orc exclaimed, the bard smiling at his friend¡¯s fortune.


    ¡°What does that even mean?¡± Yenrab and his Gamer asked simultaneously.


    That was odd, Barney. Your voice changed there for a second. It sounded, well, gruffer.


    Yeah I didn¡¯t feel like myself for a minute there either, the First Gamer said. I felt kinder, cleaner and more intelligent.


    Well, man, this weapon here gives you a plus two to hit and a plus two to damage. Plus it ignores resistances to regular weapon damage types.


    ¡°Sweet!¡± Yenrab said, his voice sounding human and a little higher pitched. The entire party stared.


    ¡°Whatever. It¡¯s Gamer stuff. Let it go, and let us go. To the keep!¡± Yenrab announced, bypassing any sort of questioning on their part.


    ***


    The keep was a bit of a nightmare. Most of the buildings leading up to it were full of the undead, which the party wisely closed the doors on and turned their backs from. They could always come back to them later. But the hall keep, that was something that would have to be entered. It radiated a dark miasma that felt angry and evil. Its facade was overgrown with strange vines, dark and forboding. They certainly weren¡¯t native to the region. To each side of the gate stood two large and armored statues, their broad chest plates and visors covered in chipped black enamel.  Small woody plants like the ones from the beach clustered here and there, forming a sort of outward arc around the entrances and bending with menace towards the party as they stood and assessed the scene. Oh, and there were a bunch of zombies ambling about.


    ¡°Fricking zombies,¡± Carric gritted, his teeth becoming worn from the constant frustration of this place. ¡°Everywhere, fricking zombies.¡±


    ¡°And skeletons,¡± Tracy supplied helpfully. The stress of the place had changed her gender again, but her voice showed them all that she was still well into the fight and far from cracking.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yenrab muttered, ¡°ya know we have a map of the place now. That¡¯s all they wanted in the first place. We don¡¯t really have to go through here and smash everything up.¡±


    ¡°Mate, if we don¡¯t do this, I mean really do this, we aren¡¯t fit to be called adventurers,¡± Bern boldly announced, ¡°Swoll is the goal, size is the prize, man.¡±


    Char Man Dar snorted, spitting something black and sludgy onto the ground. Then he proceeded to pant and heave.


    Tracy cocked her head.


    ¡°Why do you always do that, Char? Back in the Freemeet huffing and gruffing was just something the kids did when they played Lion Man. Snarl and huff, I¡¯ll eat you up! But you, well, you just do it. Always. Everywhere!¡±


    Char snorted, ¡°It ain¡¯t polite to stare and it ain¡¯t polite to ask, mate.¡±


    Tracy laughed and twirled.


    ¡°Well, guys, are we going to go in? Those plants just started moving towards us. I think they caught our scent.¡±


    They all looked over in unison. Sure enough, the twiggish plants, their leaves bristling with thorns, shambled and ambled towards them, though not at any sort of dangerous rate. The party flipped their heads, though, just a second later. From the direction of the beach came the sound of war horns. It was a long and throaty guttural growl that echoed hard through this complex of the dead.


    ¡°What is that?¡± Carric grimaced, starting to jog in its direction. The others were a bit surprised by his initiative but all followed suit.


    ¡°That¡¯s a humanoid war party. Probably orcs and hobgoblins,¡± Wex observed. ¡°Civilized sorts of the splinter kingdoms in the Eastern Reaches. Well-armed, paid in coin, and tactical. This isn¡¯t good, cuz. And the timing is chocka sus.¡±


    Charmander nodded at the nonsensical words, hocked goo into the ground, and took to a sprint. The party again followed. Behind them came the horde of zombies and slow-moving plants, suddenly interested in getting to the gate as well.


    The adventurers kept well ahead of the mob and slowed near the gates, moving behind one of the sturdy barracks buildings. A click of the dice later and Bern Sandros scurried up the side without a hitch, dropping down rope for the rest of the party, lightest to heaviest so as to have help when Yenrab and Char Man Dar finally took their turn at it. Then, lying flat on the roofed surface, they scanned the shoreline.


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of enemies,¡± Tracy announced quite loudly. The party shushed him.


    A dozen war canoes had beached themselves onto the shore, spilling well armed and disciplined orc warriors, clad in neatly worked hide with leather and sporting axes and blades. Behind them assembled three lines of equally disciplined hobgoblin archers, their angular features and eyes narrowed and they scanned the wall for defenders. A singular orc towered a foot above them all. One eye stared out in scarred ruin, a sacrifice to the gods for even greater power. His great axe arced dark energy, his face an angry grimace as he bellowed orders to his assembled men.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°I bet my fireball would be really useful right about now,¡± Tracy whispered with enthusiasm.


    Yenrab glared.


    ¡°Well big guy, you¡¯re the leader,¡± Bern nudged him. ¡°Mate, lead.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Ya know, yeah, we can really do this. Missile defense. Bern you pepper them with arrows while staying down as low as you can. It¡¯s a short bow so you can crouch pretty low.¡±


    I¡¯ll allow it sounded the firm tones of the GM. 25% cover.


    ¡°Right,¡± Yenrab agreed. ¡°And, well,¡± the half-orc looked unsure, wheeling his hands, ¡°Wex, Carric, and Tracy, you¡¯ve got crossbows so maybe you can lay all the way down when you aim and shoot, then crouch when you reload.¡±


    Interesting. Opposed roll every attack for 50% cover, 25% if I win.


    Why opposed?


    Well, that means they¡¯re smart enough to time for some shots while you aren¡¯t crouching.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Yenrab allowed, letting the words of the Gamers fly through him. ¡°Sounds like we¡¯re doing the smart thing. Then I can throw javelins and my hand axes while crouched. Not for long though. And Char, hey man, what do you have for missile attack?¡±


    Char spat and snarled.


    ¡°Only the weak use ranged weapons.¡±


    Yenrab shook a fist at the sky.


    ¡°Gods and Gamers alive, who comes up with this stuff!¡± he moaned. ¡°Alright, I guess you just sit there.¡±


    ¡°Hey Yenrab,¡± Tracy piped up.


    ¡°Yeah?¡± the barbarian asked, bracing himself for the worst.


    ¡°Maybe we should just have Char drink that potion I found in the kitchen.¡±


    All heads turned to stare. The sorcerer pulled out a flask of fantastic liquid the color of blood and steel.


    ¡°It¡¯s super rare. It¡¯s called a potion of super-heroism, and for a little while whoever drinks it is, well, just amazing.¡±


    Just amazing? What the heck, man, why didn¡¯t you tell us you found something in there?


    You didn¡¯t ask.


    Stats, GM, stats! Do we know what this does?


    Yes Tracy well made his knowledge roll. Hey Justin wanna read off the stats?


    Sure. It adds 5 levels of HP, a plus 5 attack and damage bonus, and two additional attacks for 10 rounds, plus resistance to all non-magical items.  If used in a barbarian rage then it confers an additional resistance to magical attacks.


    Give it to Char. He¡¯s not a barbarian but he can¡¯t fight from up here. Let¡¯s wreck some stuff.


    Yenrab shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m half tempted to just not do what they say but it sounds like a heck of a plan. Also, is it just me or are we getting way better at hearing the gamers?¡±


    ¡°Way better,¡± Carric muttered, tasting the words for precision. ¡°Much better?¡±


    ¡°Words are words, they mean the same thing,¡± Char groused, looking at him with a tilted head.


    ¡°Now see here,¡± Carric began.


    Sounds clicked behind and beneath them as the horde of undead made its way passed them to fight the undead. Willowy wooden plants followed in their rear.


    ¡°Oh yeah, mates, this is going to be fun,¡± Bern grinned widely, crouching and choosing a target.


    ***


    Another hobgoblin dropped with a bellow, Bern¡¯s tell-tale black feathers protruding from its shaft. The soldier¡¯s arms flailed as it lost motor function, collapsing and simultaneously filling the ground with the contents of its bowels. Orcs grunted and screamed as they smashed again and again at the stubborn forces of the undead. Zombies fell. Some rose again. Skeletons cracked apart and began their slow sink back into the earth, er, gimmok. And through the mess rose and fell the great ax of their leader, scratched and torn in a dozen places, unstoppable in his fury. His scarred eye glowed and pulsed with a dark red and bitter cloud of vengeful energy and it seemed to drive him to impossible feats.


    Char Man Dar watched him from a bit of a distance. He was on the ground and hidden around the corner of the barracks. The flask of super-heroic brew hung clutched within his reptilian talons as he waited. If he understood it all correctly he would be empowered for just a minute and a half. Maybe two minutes at most. So, as his companions above sniped their targets, the plan was that he¡¯d wait until this force, whatever it was and wherever it came from, could be torn to bits with minimal difficulty and damage.


    A zombie slammed into one warrior with a sharp crack, its supernatural force snapping the orcish neck at an unnatural angle. Another orc slapped off the zombie¡¯s head with a timed and true swing of its double-bladed battle axe, only to have the body tear out its throat. The humanoid force was beginning to wane.


    ¡°Savaausan ukaveadausan lat cowarduk.  Vicavorausan or deaavh, gruumukh liwo wreck your ukouluk!¡± the leader cried in berserk rage, foam beginning to drip from his mouth as his magical axe ended two zombies in one blow, and then his steel shod boot ended another.


    ¡°Archers, forget the rest of those guys,¡± Yenrab instructed, overseeing the battle. ¡°They are about done with this fight but, ya know, by those words I¡¯d say they only stay because they are more afraid of him than they are of the enemy. Take him out and the whole thing is done.¡±


    ¡°In the Freemeet, if the Grand Sorcan died we¡¯d all just give him some other body to inhabit,¡± Tracy informed them.


    ¡°He possesses your bodies?!¡± Bern asked, aghast.


    ¡°What? No. We make clay ones that he can go into and then they change to be like ours. It is really convenient to be honest.¡±


    ¡°I bet,¡± Wex added, struggling to fit a bolt into his crossbow from his crouched and stooped position.


    ¡°Well, Tracy,¡± Yenrab said, ¡° I don¡¯t think we¡¯re going to have that problem here. Guys, let¡¯s bring this man down.¡±


    On his words bolts and arrows followed, all flying true. The orcish leader screamed in rage, bowling through a gaggle of zombies as if they simply didn¡¯t exist, then dropping his axe and jumping a vertical five feet upward to grab the roof¡¯s ledge.


    ¡°Piss of Gharag!¡± Yenrab flinched, retrieving his great axe from his back.


    I guess it¡¯s time Char Man Dar smiled, jagged and carnivorous teeth gleaming as he sucked down the potion of super heroism. In his eyes blazed fire. From his mouth erupted flame, the power of the potion recharging his ability. He could feel might flow through him.


    What¡¯s this all mean, mate? I¡¯m new to the game remember.


    Lots of hps and killer attacks man. Just go with it.


    The leggings of the orcish leader caught fire, and he let go of the roof and swept up his axe, not bothering with the flame as he rounded on the draconic knight before him. Chain armor over red scales, his sword gleaming and sparkling darkly by the flame of his kind, Char Man Dar swing hard over head. His blade came down hard and struck against the orc leader¡¯s own, raised in impressive defense. Then the orc uttered a word and his axe changed. Sickly evil sparks of purple and black sprayed forth from the suddenly clouded and red-veined double-bladed head.


    What? How?!


    Boss battle dude. Just roll with it.


    Char stumbled back as the orc smashed the haft of his weapon into the dragon man¡¯s throat. Such a called attack had deadly consequences as Char gasped and stumbled, but the fiery vigor of the potion kept him to his feet.


    ¡°Impreukukive.  Buav jiak liwo mubarum lat agh jiak liwo mubarum your frienduk,¡± the leader mocked, swinging his magical great axe again in a skillful and high level blur.


    ¡°Wanav avo beav?¡± Yenrab called from above, jumping down on the leader¡¯s shoulders and kicking him forward onto Char¡¯s extended blade.


    ¡°Do we need to know any of what they just said?¡± Tracy asked Carric, who waited to see if the Gamers would clear the question up. They didn¡¯t though, and neither could he, so he just shrugged and reloaded.


    The orc leader screamed into Char¡¯s face, blood flecking out and over it. Char sneered back. Then the orc kicked itself off of his blade and turned, bashing Yenrab hard with a flurry of attacks. His axe flared harder and stronger with each blow before it exploded outward in a black beam of energy, throwing the barbarian ten feet up and away from him. The hapless half-orc landed with a loud plop into the midst of the orc and zombie melee.


    Bern Sandros watched it all with eyes shining. A single tear dripped from his eye.


    ¡°That - that was so awesome!¡± he stuttered, truly impressed.


    From below clanged and clattered the anger of combat. Char swung hard and fast, the potion charging up his mental and physical combat prowess to a level that the orc leader could truly appreciate. They swung, batted, and parried, giving and gaining ground as they jockeyed for the right room and angle with which to dispatch the other. Dice clattered and banged, the tone and frequency of their use growing more and more desperate as the time ticked away. And the axe grew in power again as they swung and clanged, though not nearly as quickly as it had with the barbarian. A dozen arrows and bolts stood out from the orc¡¯s back.


    Finally, blood ran from the orc¡¯s mouth and he slumped. ¡°Cheaavaumn, Gruumsh,¡± the warrior said, defeated. Char Man Dar knocked the weapon out of his limp limbs.


    ¡°Take him prisoner!¡± Carric called down from above, his face streaked with sweat from the heavy pace of the battle.


    ¡°No,¡± Char Man Dar replied, taking the orc¡¯s head with one swipe and watching as the devilish axe he had carried faded and wavered back into whichever of the hells it had spawned from.


    A cry rose up as their leader fell, and the remaining orcs and hobgoblins were very quick to capitalize on his downfall. They mobbed the gates, tearing away across the sands of the beach to the longships that awaited them. Maybe a third of them had survived the epic confrontation, it wouldn¡¯t have been too hard to count if the party hadn¡¯t immediately switched their focus to the remains of the undead force. There the battle raged a bit longer, but the routed force had taken an enormous toll and the army of the dead was finally whittled to their end. For now at any rate.

 Chapter 7 - Loot Loot!

    They traced their way back to the central keep. The whole lot of them were tired and sweaty, but also eager and motivated. The end of this damnable quest was upon them and they could feel it. It loomed large upon them. There was an air of finality to everything. The buildings had been looked through, the big baddies had been fought, and nothing new rose up to meet them in arms. The party marched up to and then through the gates of the central keep, weapons ready but relaxed. Carric even whistled. They still, though, made sure to lock and block the gate behind them.


    The interior of the keep was in wet and moldy ruins. Green slime rimed down from a crack in the ceiling and against the walls. Rugs and banners mouldered away, or what was left of them at any rate. The air was bottled and fetid, the way an aquarium must feel to the fish stuck inside small bottles or baggies at a festival. And, as usual, there were zombies.


    The party let out a collective groan and limbered up their weapon arms, getting ready for yet another battle in this place of unending strife and striving. But none of the shambling beings, servants by the look of the tattered uniforms that clung to their bodies, paid them any mind.


    ¡°Huh,¡± remarked Carric, mentally crossing off lines from the ballad that he had been composing in his head about this present adventure. They hadn¡¯t been pretty.


    ¡°Ya know, it works for me,¡± Yenrab grinned. The door behind them banged loudly as, presumably, another bunch of undead protectors rose from the ground and tried to attack the intruders. ¡°We might want to get a move on, though, and find some other place to be, because the undead outside certainly aren¡¯t as live and let live as these ones are.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± Bern said, looking puzzled. ¡°Why aren¡¯t they chasing after us and trying to eat our brains?¡±


    ¡°Bro,¡± Char croaked out in the middle of a long and obnoxious huff, ¡°who cares? We just got served lemonade. My party got served lemons. Maybe if we go deep enough into this farknotter we can find an off switch to all of this magic and just be done with it all. Pull the lever, hear some bells maybe, and this whole thing is munted!¡±


    ¡°Whatever the heck that means,¡± Carric sighed, but he nodded in probable understanding.


    They clumped together, deciding on a tactical order. Char would put Wex up on his back and stay in the rear and Yenrab would take the front while Bern would remain just a little to his side and behind, Tracy in the middle, and Carric to the left. And then they pushed forward.


    Walking passed undead who just ambled was strange. It gave people the jitters. One sloughed by Carric, leaving a sticky tricep upon his own. Another straight up collapsed under its own decay after bumping into Char Man Dar in the rear. And every one of them feared a trap or some sort of trigger. They wished that there were some sort of warning, like a trigger warning, that would tell them all of what sort of thing might set them all off. But they didn¡¯t attack, even when Yenrab tried to get his arm out of the way of one and accidentally knocked off the head of another. Familiar echoes in their head faintly suggested something that sounded like free xps, but a stern voice reminded them that such was reserved for overcoming danger, not simple dispatch. That sounded about right, though they all were beginning to suspect more and more that they could be quite powerful indeed if that Chief Gamer, the Game Master or GM, wasn¡¯t such a jerk.


    ¡°So which way,¡± Yenrab asked the rest of them, an axe in each hand and dark circles beginning to show under his eyes. They were all showing the strains of constant battle and adventure.


    Bern nodded at the question and gave him a salute, looking left at one door, then right at its opposite in decision. His eyes widened and he made his way to the right hand door, running his hands over and around it as he searched it for traps.


    ¡°Safe, mates,¡± he told them, giving a bow. ¡°Let¡¯s do this.¡±


    Yenrab strode forward with a confident gait, well eager to just get this all done with. He threw open the door with a grunt and surveyed the hall beyond it. The party peeked around his silhouette to do the same.


    ¡°Three doors on the left, two on the right. Ya know this would be so much easier if the lord regents had just given us a map,¡± the big guy groused. Char Man Dar chuffed behind them in laughter or agreement, or perhaps simply in disgusting presence.


    Tracy spun around and smiled.


    ¡°That¡¯s a door for everybody! Back in the Freemeet we all shared doors as well. They are so useful!¡± the sorcerer gushed, as Bern began his ever familiar annoyed stare. ¡°You can lay them down on the ground and, there it is, a table! Or a floor!¡±


    ¡°Or a grave marker,¡± Bern warned with a dour voice.


    ¡°That too!¡± Tracy beamed, looking at his friend with happy enthusiasm. ¡°Or a door into the ground!¡±


    ¡°Or a stretcher for a fallen comrade,¡± Bern fired back with a short and sharp laugh.


    ¡°A stretcher, eh?¡± Char Man Dar snorted and belched, turning in a circle to show off his burden. ¡°Choice bro. Yenrab, rip off a door and let¡¯s tie Wex here to it. I¡¯m sick of hanging him off of my back.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing you can¡¯t do with doors!¡± Tracy clapped with a cheer. Bern couldn¡¯t help himself and he began to laugh maniacally.


    ¡°Tracy, mate, that head of yours is golden. Stupid but brilliant at the same time.¡±


    ***


    Bern Sandros, assassin in training and rogue of the people, examined each and every door thoroughly and with great care before he opened them. He did not mince about and watching him was a master class into the world of the dungeon delving rogue. His movements were precise and minute without any of the sort of shake and tremor common to us regular folk. So it should not be any surprise that when he stepped back, fully confident and happy with his inspection, the party proceeded to open the rooms and search them through.


    Unfortunately a rogue that is good at spotting and disabling traps, while being a tremendous asset to the party, is not necessarily a failsafe at avoiding dangerous surprises. In the midst of these rooms full of mold, slime and the goopy stuff that makes even orcs say eww, amidst the broken and rotted remnant of valuables and bathed in the humid air scented slimy green by algae was a surprise. One that was dangerous.


    A pool of liquid silver schlorped over the hand of the bard as he absentmindedly splashed his palm down into it, seeking a favorable angle from which to sift through the room¡¯s debris.


    ¡°Aah!¡± Carric screamed, leaping off of the floor as his hand burned with white-hot pain. He looked in shock with wide-eyed terror as the pool of liquid rose up with him and began to spread across his arm.


    ¡°Get it off me! Get it off me!¡± the half-elf yelled, flinging his arm about wildly. It bulged and slipped, slopping off with a wet flap onto the ground, then it oozed away quickly and with purpose, its means of locomotion a mystery.


    ¡°Fleer of Villages!¡± Yenrab cursed. Everyone looked at him in strange surprise.


    ¡°What?¡± he asked. ¡°It¡¯s colloquial.¡±


    A blade clanged down on the mass, a slice of it shearing off and desiccating into a sticky gunky mess.


    ¡°Cuz! It¡¯s killable,¡± Char spat, his reptilian rasp liquid with mucus. He spat at it as well, a gob of yellow green landing on top of it, but all were quite sure that this attack did no damage. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°Tracy, do your flame stuff!¡± Yenrab commanded as he ambled side ways, axes in hand, watching the blob squidge this way and that.


    ¡°You¡¯re fired!¡± the sorcerer responded, his corny one-liner the newest verbal component to the simple attack cantrip. Everyone else groaned.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I even want us to win anymore,¡± Bern complained, giving the Freemeetian the stink-eye. ¡°Got anything new and funny bro?¡±


    Clang! The sharp point of a rapier stuck through the writhing mass of silver. It reacted, parting around the point and swishing with haste to the leg of its hapless bardic attacker.


    ¡°For all the treasures of the Mage College! This thing is nasty!¡± Carric yelled to them, booting it away with a juicy kick to the wall. It left behind pieces of itself, and was noticeably smaller, but it darted away fast and globbed onto Char¡¯s leg.


    ¡°Bad move, bro,¡± the red-scaled dragon man gargled down to it as he peeled of the gunky mess of a monster and dropped it down his gullet. The others stared. Carric retched.


    ¡°Not that bad,¡± the fighter noted, chewing and swishing his mouth about. ¡°But one thing I can definitely tell you is that it does not taste like chicken.¡±


    ***


    All of this poking about was boring. There was nothing worth pocketing and that made Bern Sandros grumpy. It wasn¡¯t that he needed to have treasure at that specific moment. It was just that he felt like he deserved it at that specific moment. And so, while the party poked about, he went over the walls of the two armories, with a very specific thing in mind. There¡¯s gotta be a secret vault for those officers.


    He looked over at the party, poking and prodding through piles and heaps of garbage and broken building. Then he slid over, slowly and carefully, against a wall at the end of one of the armories. The scraps of this one indicated it was once the place to store and repair suits of mail and perhaps even plate. Now, though, it was littered with mold, slime, and even little tufts of grass. Still, it all looked too normal. Something in the human¡¯s head rang out in warning. There is more to this than there seems to be. There has got to be.


    His hand ran over the irregular and damp surface, probing every dimple and clicking at any depression the fingertips fell into. The others finished up what they were up to and came over to watch.


    ¡°Did you check that corner?¡± Tracy pointed, trying to help out.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Tracy fired back over his shoulder.


    ¡°Are you sure? Because I think I see something.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been over that corner at least twice, Tracy. What do you think you see?¡±


    ¡°A secret button. It radiates magic.¡±


    The rogue stared at the sorcerer, a grimace riding his face as he probed again. Then his face fell and he looked for all the world like a sodden cat just waiting to get dry again.


    ¡°Mother of a demon,¡± he whispered in anguish, pushing the thing with an audible click. The wall groaned and shook before falling into the floor, revealing a few quite shiny items untarnished by the humid disrepair of the keep.


    ¡°Dibs!¡± called Wex weakly from his litter on the floor. Everyone looked back at the bruised and battered figure, then shared a collective shrug and a laugh. Whether he was in the fight or not the elf sure had a head for treasure.


    ¡°Yeah, why the hells not mate!¡± Bern Sandros yelled to him, his humor improved.


    Yenrab moved into the pile of things, separating the still shiny and obviously magical stuff from all that had gone to rot. Then he held them up, one by one, for the elf to choose from.


    He shook his head at the mace, sword and shield. But when the big half-orc raised up a glittering and ringing suit of chainmail, he smiled broadly and gave a weak thumbs up, then collapsed back down into snores.


    ¡°Well we got that taken care of,¡± Yenrab said, putting his arms out wide in supplication. ¡°Paper rock scissor for the rest?¡±


    ***


    The weapons were shiny. Better than that they glittered and glowed, sparkled and danced in the eyes of their beholders. They were the kind of treasure that made Gamers go wide-eyed, and the party wanna go ooh.


    ¡°Ooh!¡± the party said, as they sorted through the stuff. The mace flared hard as Bern Sandros picked it up and swung it. Its gems flared and sparked.


    ¡°That feels tight!¡± he enthused. Probably a +2 weapon. Sweet. The Gamer added.


    Char Man Dar huffed and puffed, the second winner of the group. His scissors had been vanquished by Bern¡¯s rock, but his previous battalion of rocks and papers and beaten the rest for second place.


    ¡°Mates, this looks my speed, eh?¡± the big dragon man gasped and hacked as he lifted up a tremendous great sword.


    ¡°Chur!¡± he added as it flared with magic, feeling light and friendly in his taloned hands.


    So is that, like, a +2 also? Gamer Nick asked.


    Get it identified. The Chief Gamer told him.


    Rob didn¡¯t get his identified.


    He doesn¡¯t know what he has.


    He said he has a +2!


    He¡¯s guessing. Just wait for the adventure to end, throw out some coins, and get it all identified.


    ¡°I guess I get the shield,¡± Yenrab muttered, not looking so thrilled about it. It flared as the half-orc picked it up and swung it about. He wasn¡¯t really into shields but maybe it would come in handy. Or maybe he could swap it for a nice bear trap someday.


    ***


    The companions left the armory together, limping and tired. The quarters had been searched, the secrets found and the armories looted. There was just one more place to go. Leaving the hallway for the broad entryway, the crossed and opened that last and final door, peering in with weary eyes.


    A pew in front sat a few humanoid figures, dried out and drained of essence. Their faces looked on, contorted in horror. Despite the expectations of the players above, though, they did not move.


    The party pushed forward, moving past the line columns of rows of pews and well ready to face whatever this keep had to offer them. They soon got their wish.


    ¡°Greetings, adventurers. Welcome to my keep,¡± a voice boomed out. The sound came from the altar, and they moved with tired staggers in that direction.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± Tracy asked as an apparition appeared, a tall and thin man bespectacled and garbed in the arms and armor of a lord commander back during the days of the rebellion. He seemed oblivious to the ghost¡¯s angry scowl and burning eyes.


    ¡°I am Ianon Heppenstaller, Lord Commander over Cadorna Keep.¡±


    ¡°Hi Ianon, I¡¯m Tracy!¡± the sorcerer exclaimed. All of his former fatigue had vanished in this discovery of a new friend. The others, though, bristled and stared. They did not like the look of this at all.


    The specter¡¯s eyes narrowed. Bluish-white flame flickered about the sockets.


    ¡°How fares the Republic? Did we win the war?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah!¡± Tracy gushed, coming almost within arms reach. The spirits face seemed to pinch with effort and the shade flickered momentarily, a glimpse of a rabid and hellish other caught just for a second by the attentive eye. Ianon¡¯s eyes widened.


    ¡°Then our sacrifice is good. Twenty years ago we stood here, keeping longboats and ponies for raids against the Nemedian Armies. And Twenty years ago the Nemedians swept the Great Lake of opposition and ended our raids, sieging us here in this very castle.¡±


    Tracy moved closer and sat down, his face rapt as he was enveloped into the story. Ianon against flickered, longer this time, and the sorcerer jumped back up to his feet in skittish worry. The spirit seemed to struggle though and smiled.


    ¡°It is a side effect of the curse, my friend. Relax and hear my tale. Only then will I be able to depart.¡±


    The rest of the party spread out and moved closer with exercised caution. The spirit flickered again.


    ¡°I cast a scroll, a fail-safe, to keep us fighting on so that the Nemedian Empire could not hold this place. It was a powerful magic that was unleashed, one that ensnared the souls of all who die here and resurrect them over and over to fight for the sanctity of this keep.¡±


    A click sounded from the back of the room. The spirit and everyone else looked over to the sound in surprise. Carric raised his crossbow, a glowing bolt locked within, a fired. The bolt exploded as it struck the spirit in its translucent forehead, ending its existence.


    ¡°Your fight is over, Ianon,¡± Carric smiled, the others staring.


    ¡°Was that the right thing to do?¡± Yenrab asked in confusion.


    ¡°Look if he was a ghost turned evil it was good to release him from this material plane. And if he was telling the truth and he was a good spirit then he was going to release himself after this speech and I just expedited the process.¡±


    ¡°Bold, mate,¡± Bern admired. ¡°Well done.¡±


    ¡°Damn right,¡± Carric said with a confident smile. ¡°Well done indeed.¡±

 Conclusion

    They could all make out the longboat as they plodded back to the beach. It had been twenty-four hours already in this accursed place and it was a tremendous sight. The day was bright and cheery, the clouds above were fluffy white, and the fresh water waves rolled sweet and soft against the shore.


    ¡°Ya know guys, I didn¡¯t think we could do it. But, there it is. Another job well done,¡± Yenrab spoke to them, a smile riding his face underneath the deep dark circles of his eyes.


    ¡°I always knew we could, mates. I believed in us,¡± Bern Sandros joked, himself dropping to the sand for a heartfelt lay down.


    ¡°Dragon turds,¡± Carric laughed, taking a seat next to him. ¡°Absolute dragon turds. You were as scared as the rest of us.¡±The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Perhaps,¡± the rogue allowed with a sly smile.


    ¡°I just wish we¡¯d have let the evil ghost finish his story before he killed him,¡± Tracy confided to them all.


    ¡°How do we know he was evil?¡± Char Man Dar gargled out, something disgusting clogging his pipes.


    ¡°Oh, I could see it in his magical aura,¡± Tracy informed them, a winning smile on his face.


    Overhead a few birds cawed, no longer afraid to nest in the keep¡¯s tenements. At the beach, though, Bern¡¯s angry stare lasted to the arrival of the longboat and their final departure from the dreadful place.