《Between Books And Blades》 Chapter One: Zora Shit, shit, shit. I look at my phone and see it''s nine thirty in the morning. Great. My first class was at eight and I''ve already missed it. I am majoring in pre med and my first class was physics which is a class you don''t want to miss. I groan as I get out of bed. I have a meeting at ten with the head coach of the hockey team. This I cannot be late for. On the bright side, missing class gives me more time to gather my bearings and prepare for the meeting. I can''t fuck this up. I have played hockey since I was little and it was the whole reason I came to this college to begin with. I was five years old when I first started hockey. I remember seeing the men and women who were in college playing hockey, showing us how to balance on our skates, and knew one day that I would be just like them. Now I am eighteen years old and hopefully going to join a hockey team. I am from Pleasantville, New York and in my senior year of high school, and my last year of hockey, I was scouted by the coach from the University of Vermont. University of Vermont was not my first pick for college, but seeing that they were a D1 school I knew it would get me one step closer to my goal. When the coach first came and talked to me I was worried about how I would be able to pay for school since my parents were not fans of me pursuing hockey and wanted me to attend a community college. They had told me that if I wanted to go out of state I would have to find a way to pay for it myself. Iforuntanely graduated high school as valedictorian with a 4.0 GPA and a degree in Arts and Sciences. This allowed me an opportunity to obtain an academic scholarship that pays for me to be here. As for my apartment that I share with my best friend, Liv, I will have to get a job to pay for it. I am a freshman and most freshmen live in the dorms, I however got lucky and was able to live with Liv off campus in an apartment that is only 10 minutes away from campus. Before I had moved in, Liv had lived alone and was working three jobs on top of school to be able to afford to live here. Liv grew up poor and her parents had no money to help her with college. Liv is two years older than me but has been my best friend since I was in sixth grade and she was in eighth grade. So far she is my only friend here at school until I get out more and meet people on my own. I quickly get ready, throw on some clothes, and rush downstairs where I see Liv in our kitchen. Our apartment is decent size and we have tried out best with the little money we have to make our apartment a home. We spent a lot of time at thrift stores and looking online to get appliances and furniture. "Glad to see you''re awake. I heard your alarms going off," Liv says, not looking up from the skillet she is using to cook eggs. Liv is the cook between the two of us. Everything I try to cook I burn, so I leave the cooking to Liv and I do most of the cleaning. "You heard my alarms and didn''t wake me up?" I say, a little annoyed as I am looking for my bag and shoes to throw on. "Well I would''ve but I was too busy sneaking out the guy from last night," Liv replies now looking at me with a smirk on her face. Liv is your typical party girl who brings different men home every other night. I''m not one to judge but I am slightly jealous. Liv is very attractive and always has men jumping at her feet. As for me, I have never been on a date or had a boyfriend. I am hoping that college will change that. Being eighteen and never had sex before or a boyfriend is quite embarrassing especially since most people in high school had lost their virginity before we graduated and I''m sure most of the college campus has too. "You''re ridiculous," I say as I grab an apple for a quick breakfast. "Where are you in a hurry to?" "Well I missed my eight o''clock physics class, but I have a meeting with the head hockey coach this morning so that is where I''m headed." "Hmm. Good luck I''m sure you''ll impress him with your abilities," Liv says as she gets her toast out of the toaster and puts it on a styrofoam plate. "Thanks. I''ll let you know how it goes. Afterwards I have calculus. Then I will be home until hockey practice, If I make the team" "Gross. Sounds worse than the meeting. I''m sure you will make the team, you have always been a great hockey player and I''m sure the coach knows that since he wanted you to come here and play for them." "Aren''t you just lucky to be an art major? Thanks, Liv. I needed a confidence boost this morning" "You picked your major not me," Liv says as she makes her way to the kitchen table. I just shot her a look as I headed out the door. "And glad I could be of service." I walk out of our apartment and into the warm air. Vermont is very pretty in September as the leaves on the trees are starting to change. I told myself I would walk to my classes to get exercise and to scope out the campus more, but I don''t currently have time for that. I grab my keys out of my bag and unlock my car. I drive a Honda Civic which is basic but it gets me from point A to point B. I had worked two jobs when I was sixteen to be able to buy a car for myself so even though she''s basic I love her. I start my car and put the directions to the campus in my GPS. I haven''t had a chance to check out the different stores and shops close to our apartment, but when I pass a coffee shop down the road I make a mental note to stop by there to grab an application. I currently don''t have a job or any money and I need both of those ASAP. Our apartment being only 10 minutes from campus is a blessing on days like today where I''m running behind. I drive with the windows down for some fresh air that will hopefully help me relax. I am very nervous about this meeting. I''ve never been very good at telling people about myself. I have always been a shy person who never spoke unless they were spoken to. Because of this, I never really had friends in high school and spent most of my days either reading or doing homework. I was never allowed to do much because my parents wanted me to stay focused on school, so I have never been to a party before either. Coming to Vermont was nerve racking in itself as I am five hours away from my family and the people I know. I know this will be good for me though, I will be able to play hockey, hopefully meet new people, and earn a degree all at the same time. I needed change and I needed a fresh start. I told myself that coming to college was a chance to reinvent myself and experience the things I never got to in high school. I arrive on campus and try to find the faculty building. Everything on this campus looks the exact same and I don''t have the time this morning to go from building to building to find where I need to go. I look at the signs and see an arrow pointing to the faculty building. I drive over and find a parking spot. I grab my phone off of the dash holder and pull up the email the coach sent me to find out which room his office is located. Room 202. I lock my phone, take a deep breath, and step out of my car.You got this,I tell myself. Even if I answer questions awkwardly and poorly I''m hoping that my hockey skills will save the meeting. I walk into the building and see a lady sitting at the front desk. She looks up and smiles at me as I approach her desk. "Hello. Welcome to the faculty building. Do you have a meeting?" "Yes. My name is Zora Brown and I am here to see Mr. Johnson." "Ah Zora. I have you down. Just take a seat and I''ll let Mr. Johnson know you''re here." "Thank you," I reply as I take a seat. I look around the building and see different flyers for different events. I see one that is for freshmen. A freshman meeting party that is for tonight at eight. I take out my phone and snap a picture of it. Maybe I''ll go and it''ll be a chance for me to meet some people here on campus. I know I have Liv, but Liv has been here for two years already and has found her people. She told me I could hang out with her and her art friends but I don''t want to feel out of place and want to have my own friends too. I''m hoping that I will be able to meet people in my classes and hopefully befriend the girls on the hockey team. "Miss Brown?" I hear a voice call. I turn around and see who I am assuming is Mr. Johnson. I don''t remember him being the one I had talked to about coming to school here. "Hi," I say with a smile. I grab my bag and follow him to his office. "Please take a seat," He gestures to the seat across from his desk. I look around his office and notice physics charts hanging. A wave of anxiety hits me and I say a quick prayer in hopes he''s not also my physics professor. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. "Thank you," I say as I sit. I am currently sweating, bullets and more aware of my heart beat. I try to calm myself down to avoid having a panic attack in this man''s office. "I didn''t see you in class today," Mr. Johnson starts. Shit. The hockey coach is also a physics professor? My physics professor? Can this morning get any worse? I shift in my seat a little, caught off guard, trying to think of what to say. "Sorry about that. I didn''t wake up to my alarms this morning," I say with an awkward chuckle. I can feel my face getting as red as a tomato. Missing classes isn''t like me, neither is running late. I am usually twenty to thirty minutes early to every place I go, but of course he doesn''t know that. "No worries. Physics is not what you came here for. What you came here for is to discuss hockey right?" "Right," I say smiling, trying to regain my composure. "Great. So I''m not sure if you remember me but I am actually the one that watched your high school games last year." "Yes I remember," I lie. I honestly don''t remember who I spoke to about hockey and I don''t remember seeing him at any of my games, but I sure wasn''t going to tell him that. "Good. So we have practices everyday from five to eight at night. I hope that works with your schedule and if you have night classes we can work around those." "That works perfectly for me and I don''t have any night classes." "Good. That''s all I have for you. Any questions?" Mr. Johnson asks. I stare at him blankly and cock my head in confusion. That''s it? That''s all he wanted to tell me? I don''t know much about meetings or interviews for that matter but I do know it should be longer than five minutes. I realize I am still giving him a blank stare and try to change my features, failing terribly. "Something wrong?" "Um. I''m honestly a little caught off guard by the lack of questioning." Mr. Johnson just stares at me. "Zora, I''ve seen you play. You''re a good player and a hard worker. I know you want to be on this team and I want you on this team. What else do I need to know?" I mean he does have a good point. Hockey is mostly show not tell, so I guess I see how he wouldn''t have much to say. I sat there for a moment. "I suppose you have a point." "Very well then. I will see you at five tonight," Mr. Johnson says as he gets up from his chair and walks to his office door, holding it open for me. I notice that he is really tall, probably six foot, and actually looks young for a hockey coach. Maybe late twenties early thirties? "See you tonight," I reply as I walk out of his office. I spent way less time in that meeting than I had expected so I have some time to kill before my next class. I decide to go to the next building which is the campus library. I don''t have any books for my classes because I didn''t have any money to buy them before the semester started. I still don''t have the money to buy them but at least I can look to see what books I actually need. I walk into the campus building and see a "We''re hiring!" sign. Perfect. I can get a job too while I''m here. I walk to the front desk where I see a girl about my age reading a book. She hears me approach and looks up from her book. "Hi there. Welcome to the campus library. How can I help you?" "Hi. I was just looking to see what books I needed for my classes." "Okay, if you need anything just let me know." "Actually, I was also wondering, do you still have student positions? I saw the sign hanging up." "Yes! My name is Clare," the girl says perking up. She puts a random piece of paper in her book to hold her place and closes it. "I do the interviews. You came just in time. I need one more student for the night shift. Are you available now for an interview?" I am once again caught off guard, but am glad at the chance of getting a job. I did say I needed one ASAP and Clare is going to do just that. "Yes," I say with a smile. "Perfect. Come this way." I follow Clare to one of the empty study rooms. Where she offers me a seat and takes one of her own. "So for this position it''s really easy. You just help students find books for their classes when they come in, and answer whatever questions they may have. We also have a tutoring option if you''re up for that." "Sounds good to me. Do you get paid extra for tutoring?" "Yes." "Then sign me up," I say. I performed well in school, graduated top of my class and I''m a book nerd, I think I would do a pretty good job tutoring people. I mean how hard could it really be? "Perfect. So the night shift is from ten at night to two in the morning. We try to keep the library open kind of late because a lot of students like to come here to study as well. During these hours no one is really searching for books so you are more than welcome to do school work if needed. The pay is sixteen dollars an hour. How does that sound?" "Sounds good to me." Sixteen dollars an hour to tutor students and show them books sounds like an easy on campus job to me. I remember the mental note I had made about the coffee shop and decide that two jobs is better than one and I need all the money I can get. I make another mental note to stop there after my classes. "Great. When can you start?" "As soon as you need." "I just need you to fill this out and can you start tomorrow night?" "Yes," I say as I sign the application form. "Good. You will have someone with you that will show you the ropes." "Okay great. See you then." I say. I am no longer feeling as stressed as I was an hour ago. I may have missed my first class, but my meeting went well and now I have a job. I smile as I walk to my calculus class, then I realize I have no idea how to get there. "Hey Clare? Where is the math building?" "Oh, that is the next building over to the right when you walk out of here." "Thank you," I say as I grab my bag and go out the way we came. I arrive at the math building and find room 402. I walk in and see that the room is huge and almost already filled. I look at the time and realize class starts in five minutes. I am starting to feel anxious again as I try to find an empty seat. I scan the room and see students talking and laughing. I see a seat next to probably the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Not probably, actually. She is actually the prettiest girl I have ever seen. She has long blonde hair that goes down to her waist that is as straight as a board and green eyes that make her features pop more. She is laughing at something the girl next to her just said. I stare at her a little longer before I walk to the seat next to her. I walk over, take a seat and set my bag down. She stops talking and turns to look at me. "Hey," I say with a smile. "Hi," she smiles back. "I''m Reya." "I''m Zora," I reply. "Nice to meet you. Are you new?" "Yes," I laugh nervously. I was already nervous before coming into the building but her talking to me makes me more nervous. "Are you from Vermont?" "No I am not. I am from Pleasantville, New York." "New York? Then what brings you to Vermont?" "Hockey. I played hockey in high school and decided to play here," I say and I could''ve sworn that her entire demeanor changed and she became tense. It was only for a split second and then she composed herself. I am assuming that she also plays on the hockey team. "Really?. Will you be at practice tonight?" "Yes." "Great. I''ll see you there," she smiles and this time I could tell it was fake. She turns back around to talk to her friends and I sit there replaying the interaction in my head wondering what caused the shift in her mood. "Good morning everyone. My name is Mrs. Hughes. Welcome to calculus. This class is fast paced so if you start to fall behind speak up or you will fail," Mrs. Hughes says as she messes with something on her computer. I glance over at Reya who is still talking to her friends. Mrs. Hughes pulls up the first lesson and begins to teach the basics of derivatives. "That''s all for today. We will have a quiz tomorrow over derivatives so come prepared. If you feel lost either stay after class or shoot me an email and I will get back to you," Mrs. Hughes said when class was over. I look at the examples and know I won''t need to study for this quiz because I had already learned this before. I took calculus in high school, but it didn''t transfer over when I started here. I glance over at Reya who has nothing written in notebook and I wonder how she will do on tomorrow''s quiz. I leave the math building and head back to my car. It''s noon and I have two online classes that I can check out before hockey practice at five. I remember stopping at the coffee shop so I turn left into the parking lot on my way home. "Good afternoon. What can I get you?" a girl at the counter says when I walk in. "I''m actually looking for an application," I say scanning the coffee shop. It is very pretty inside. There are a lot of plants and students sitting at tables working on homework. "Here you go," the girl says, handing me the form. This application is longer than the campus one so I decided to take it with me. "Thank you." "Of course. Have a good day." "Thank you, you too." I walk back to my car and drive home. "Hey. How was the meeting and calculus?" Liv says from the living room when I get home. I sit my keys down and walk to the couch. She is standing by the living room window working on a painting. I look at the painting and see she is drawing the Mona Lisa. "The meeting went well I guess? It was probably five minutes and he didn''t ask me any questions. He told me that he had seen me play and didn''t need to know anything else. Afterwards I headed to the library and got a job. Then I went to calculus where I met one of the girls from the hockey team. Her name is Reya and she''s a junior. She asked me where I was from and I told her, she then asked me what brought me to Vermont and I told her hockey then her whole demeanor changed. Like she seemed annoyed and tense. I''m not sure why. Also why are you painting the Mona Lisa?" "Because you''re a freshman and a new member to her hockey team," Liv says, not looking up from her painting. "Congrats on the job and I''m glad the meeting went well. I am painting the Mona Lisa for my art history class." "Wait, what do you mean ''because I''m a freshman''?" Liv puts her paintbrush down and looks at me. "You''re the only freshman on the team. She sees you as a threat." "What?" "People talk. I heard that you''re the only freshman and people have heard about your record. There''s already talk that you''re going to be the team''s star player." "What? That''s crazy. How would people already know that?" "Again people talk. I''m sure someone found out about you being scouted. You will find out but college isn''t much different from high school. There''s a lot of gossip." I think about what Liv said, confused. Why would anyone care about me? This is a big campus and I just got here. "The same thing happened my freshman year when I came for basketball." "That''s crazy," I say as I walk to the kitchen table and open up my laptop. "I thought the same thing." I open up my Brightspace and click on my English class. I try to start on a paper that''s due in two days but I can''t stop thinking about what Liv said. I don''t understand why people care about a random freshman from New York. Chapter Two: Reya "How are you feeling about the calculus test tomorrow?" My best friend, Genevieve, asks me as I am scrolling on my phone. "Eh," I reply back, staring at a picture of Marcus with his arm around another girl. Marcus and I are strictly casual but I still get bothered when I see him posting with other girls. I knew going into our friends with benefits relationship that he was the biggest player on the football team. I feel like a part of me believes that he''ll change for me, but I should know that won''t happen. "What do you mean ''eh''? It''s our first quiz and we can''t fail it. You fail the quiz, and then your grade starts out with an F. What are you even looking at?" Genevieve sighs as she moves over to look at my phone. "Oh Marcus posting with a new girl. What''s new? I keep telling you to dump him." "You can''t dump someone you''re not dating." "Exactly. You guys aren''t dating. You knew exactly who he was when you got involved with him." "Who even is this girl anyways?" "Oh that''s Olivia Vegas. She''s also a junior and the captain of the basketball team. Remember everyone was talking about her our freshman year?" "Oh yeah. Anyways I''m prettier than her. Plus she has brown hair and Marcus has always been into blondes," I say trying to make myself feel better. Genevieve just rolls her eyes and goes back to her calculus notes. "You should focus on the things you can control like your calculus grade. If your grades slip you know Coach is going to kill you." "I''ll be ready by the morning. Marcus texted me and I''m going to his place. Don''t wait up," I say as I grab my keys. Marcus and I have had an on and off relationship since I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. I don''t know why a part of me is attracted to Marcus, I think I like the thrill of being with someone who is emotionally unavailable. "Fine," Genevieve says as I head out the door. As I''m driving I can''t help but let my mind wander to earlier today in my calculus class. Zora. Of course everyone was talking about her, she''s stunning with her blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. I''d be lying if I didn''t say that having a freshman on the hockey team intimidated me. She will be okay as long as she plays well and stays out of my way of being team captain. A part of me wants to be nice and befriend her since she is new, but also a part of me wants her to stay as far away from me as possible so she doesn''t get in my way. "Hey," Marcus says as he opens the door. "Hey," I say with a smile. He holds the door open for me and I walk inside. I notice his roommates aren''t home. "I saw that picture with you and Olivia." "Oh?" He says raising a brow. "We''re just friends." "Oh, just like we''re ''just friends''" "You know I don''t date." "I know," I say, more harshly than I had expected. Marcus takes a seat on the couch and pats the seat next to him. "Here let''s watch a movie. I''ll put on your favorite." I am flattered and actually surprised that he remembers my favorite movie, however both him and I know I came for sex and not a movie. I walk to the couch, sit my bag down, and climb onto his lap with my back facing the TV. "You and I both know what I came here for," I say in a whisper as I lean down to get close to his face. "Oh yeah?" He says as he puts his right hand in my hair and pulls me closer for a kiss. He pulls my shirt over my head to reveal the black lace bra I had put on for him. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you look?" He mumbles as he places kisses on my covered breasts. "Mmhm," I say in response as I put my hands in his hair. "Dude. You have a room," Caleb, one of his roommates says as he walks into the living room. I jump up and grab my shirt to cover myself. "I didn''t think you were home," Marcus replies. "Well I am. Mark took my car because his is in the shop." "I''m going to go," I say awkwardly. "I have hockey practice anyways." "I''ll walk you out," Marcus says after I put my shirt back on. "I''m sorry I didn''t think he was home." "It''s okay I didn''t think he was home either. Are you going to the party tonight?" "Yes. You?" "Yes. I''ll see you there?" "Yes," Marcus says as he kisses me and closes my car door once I am inside. Once I see Marcus go inside his apartment I groan and cover my face with my hands. That was so embarrassing. I start my car and drive to campus to get to the rink early. I grab my hockey bag out of my trunk and head inside. I''m scrolling on my phone when I hear skates sliding across the ice and pucks hitting the net. I peek in and see Zora hitting pucks into the net. I wonder what she''s doing here so early. I walk to a bench to put my skates on and sit my bag down. I decided not to put my hockey gear on yet since we have an hour until practice starts. "Hey," Zora says as she skates to the bench I''m sitting at. "Hey," I say as I lace my skates without looking up. "I didn''t expect you to be here so early." "I didn''t want to write my paper anymore or work on any homework really. So I came here. The rink has always been the place where I can clear my head." "It''s always been my place to clear my head too," I admit. I look at Zora and study her features. She really is pretty and I envy that about her too. Do I have men jumping at me in every direction? Yes. But do I think Zora is prettier than me? Absolutely. I can''t quite tell if I want to be her or be with her. Stop it, I tell myself. She''s your teammate and your potential competition. "What are you running from?" Zora jokes. I just look at my skates and stand up. "Let''s see what you got, New Girl," I say, changing the subject and skating onto the ice with my stick. I hear her following behind me. I stand in front of her with my back facing the net. She drops the puck on the ground. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. "Ready?" She asks. "Ready," I say. She starts to skate towards me with the puck. I''m ready to defend, determined to not let her beat me. She skates fast with the puck and shoots the puck in the bottom right towards the net. I quickly stop the puck. You''re going to have to do better than that, I think to myself. "That was predictable. You don''t want to be predictable. Go again," I say, sliding the puck back toward her. She catches the puck with her stick, skates from me and is back into position, ready. "Ready," I say without her having to ask. She skates towards me again but at a different angle this time. I can already predict what she''s going to do next. She swerves to the right but I''m already on the left side before she has a chance to quickly slide left. I slide too far over and she beautifully slides the puck in on the right side. "Dammit," I mumble. "You got too cocky," I hear a voice say. I look up and Zora turns around to see Coach Johnson. I feel my cheeks burn with anger and envy. Of course Coach was there for that. "Surprised to see you both here early," He says once Zora and I don''t reply to his first comment. "Welcome to the rink, Zora." "Hi, Coach," Zora replies. "Hey, Coach," I said afterwards. Coach sets his things down on the bench and opens up his clipboard. "You guys still have thirty minutes before practice starts. Reya, why don''t you show Zora around?" "Sure," I say even more annoyed than I was before. "Let''s go." I go to the bench to take my skates off as Zora follows. We walk down the hallway to the locker rooms, both of us staying silent. "Here are our lockers. Everyone has their own designated locker. No one has locker sixteen so you can have that one," I say as Zora nods along. "I''m assuming Coach has your gear or at least will be getting it. There''s nothing else to really show you." Zora nods and I turn around to open my locker and get my hockey gear. As I switch from my sweater to a compression undershirt I feel Zora''s eyes on me and I can''t help but smile. I hope you like what you see, I think to myself. "Zora," Coach calls from outside the locker room. I turn around and see Zora quickly looking away. "Yes?" Zora replies. "I have a jersey for you, did you bring old hockey gear until your gear comes in?" "Yes," Zora says as she walks out of the locker room to retrieve the jersey. I put my hockey pants and pads on next. Zora returns with the jersey. She removes her hoodie and puts on a black long sleeve shirt. I look up and see that her back is facing away from me. I look at her back and her shoulders. They''re defined, so she definitely works out. Does she have any bad features? She turns back to me and grabs her hockey pants. "Have you played hockey anywhere else?" I say breaking the silence. Zora looks up at me as she pulls her hockey pants up. "Just high school. You?" "Ah that''s right, you''re a freshman," I tease. "Other than high school, no. I''m a junior." Zora nods and then grabs her jersey to slide it over her head. She grabs her stick and walks out of the locker room with me following closely behind. Is it bad that I think she looks hot in hockey gear? "Ah the New Girl," Genevieve says as Zora walks out of the locker room. She raises her eyebrows when she sees me walk out after. "Her name is Zora," Coach says. "Hi, everyone," Zora says and everyone gives her a hello in return. Rachel skates over to talk to Zora but I can''t hear what they''re talking about. Zora laughs at something Rachel says and I can''t help but notice that she looks cute when she laughs. "Okay, everyone on the ice," Coach says and practice begins. I play right defense man so I am in position with Genevieve on my left and Marissa as goaltender. Coach put Zora in the center forward position to try it out and Rue is to her left and Jade is on her right. Coach put six other players on the other side so it was more game-like. Zora and another girl from the other side do the face off and the puck is sliding on the ice with Zora gaining control first. She is fast. I will give her that. She is skating down the rink with Rue keeping up on her left and Jade falling behind on the right. Zora passes the puck to Rue and speeds up. Rue passes the puck back to Zora who then scores. Easy shot, I say to myself. She is very quick. I will give her that. Her passing skills aren''t terrible either. Rue skates over to give Zora a high five and Jade makes her way over to tell Zora she did a good job. "Beautiful, Zora. Run it again," Coach says. Two and a half hours later and the first practice of hell is over. I sit on the bench to untie my skates when Genevieve comes over to me. "What are you doing after this?" She asks. "Probably trying to learn calculus," I reply. She laughs. "Why what''s up?" "There''s that party tonight at nine after the freshman gathering." "Oh yeah, Marcus and I were talking about that. I''m still down to go." "Good. Maybe we will both get lucky tonight," Genevieve jokes as she sits down next to me to take off her skates. Genevieve and I have been best friends since we were in elementary school. I trust that woman with my life. One thing about our friendship is that Genevieve and I will never fight about a guy because she''s lesbian, so we have no problems in our friendship. I head back to the locker room to take my gear off and see Zora already half undressed. "Good job today," I say, trying to be nice. If I want a chance at being team captain I need to be nice. "You too," Zora says, facing me. She smiles as she walks out of the locker room. I take my gear off and realize I stink and am in dire need of a shower. I head out to my car and drive to my apartment. Somehow Genevieve beat me home and she''s standing in the kitchen with a bottle of water. "What are you thinking about Zora?" She asks me. "She''s actually good and I hate to admit that. I hope she just stays out of my way of being team captain." "I agree. I don''t think Coach would make a freshmen team captain though." "He seems very fond of her so we will see. I''m going to take a shower and get ready for the party." I turn the shower on to make the water warm, and put my long hair into a hair clip. I washed my hair last night so all I will need to do tonight is just curl it. I get into the shower and allow the water to run down my back as my mind wanders back to Zora. I want to know more about her. Why did she decide on Vermont? What are her parents like? What building does she live in? Has she made any friends? All of these questions I''m allowing myself to think shouldn''t matter but they do. A part of me is fascinated by her, maybe it''s because Coach already deems her as his star player. That also makes me hate her. She is good for the team, so I have to put my jealousy aside for that. I get out of the shower, head back into my room and pick up my phone. I see a missed call from my mom, which is surprising because she has always been so absorbed in work that she''s never cared about what I was doing. "Hello?" I say as my mom picks up the phone. "Hello Darling. I just wanted to call and see how things are going," my mom says. I try not to let myself get upset or irritated as this may be her trying to finally make an effort. "Hey, Mom. Things are going okay. I had my first hockey practice today," I say as I walk to my closet to pick out an outfit for tonight. "That''s great. I wish you would have pursued tennis, but I hope the first practice went well." My mom has never been fond of the idea of me pursuing a hockey career. She is old fashioned and considers hockey to be a "mens only sport". She has never been supportive when it comes to hockey and has never been to a game of mine not even in high school. She always uses the "she''s too busy with work" excuse which is at least a little true since she runs a fashion business but it still doesn''t hurt any less. As for my father, he cares too much about hockey. He played in college and went pro before retiring and having me. Now he is always on my case about performing well and keeping my grades up. I will say I am thankful at times for my father and his extra push when it comes to hockey, but the part that sucks is the yelling matches and harsh lectures when he thinks I didn''t play well. "Yeah it went well." "Good. Well I have to go, but I love you sweetheart and remember to call me." "I love you too," I say as my mom quickly hangs up. I sigh and put my phone down as I grab a black corset top and jeans to throw on. I curl my hair, put on some makeup and head back out to the living room. "Ready?" Genevieve says from the couch. "Ready," I say as I get up and grab my keys. I park in an area we found along the street and already see people in the front yard. The party is at one of the frat houses that Marcus is a part of, so I know it''s guaranteed he will be here. Genevieve and I get out of the car and are greeted by some of the members of the men''s hockey team. "Glad you guys could make it," Demetri, one of the hockey members, says. "Thanks for having us," I respond as he leads Genevieve and I into the house. We walk in and immediately spot Marcus taking a girl with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes upstairs and I already know who it is. Zora fucking Brown. No fucking way. Chapter Three: Zora I have never drank before, but I was two drinks deep when Marcus approached me. After the freshman meeting, Liv convinced me to come to one of the frat parties and I willingly agreed. "Zora, right?" He said to me, holding his beer. Liv and I were talking to some of her art friends when he approached our group. I turn around and smile at him. He wasn''t ugly by any means, but I have never really been attracted to a boy before. I have found myself more attracted to girls, but I have yet to figure out if it''s because I think they''re pretty or if it''s a "I want to be with them" attraction. I studied Marcus''s features. He is about six foot two, has brown hair and brown eyes, with an eyebrow piercing. He has a half sleeve on his right forearm that looks like it has snakes, skulls, and flowers. I will say having an eyebrow piercing and tattoos definitely gives him some brownie points. "Yes," I say with a smile. His eyes immediately went to my breasts and I know I should be disgusted but instead I''m flattered that a boy is finally giving me the time of day. "Can I get you another drink?" He offers and downs the rest of his beer. "Sure. I''ll come with you," I say as I follow him through the crowd and into the kitchen. Marcus seems nice but I would never trust a man with my drink. He grabs another beer out of the fridge and I search for the vodka to pour into my red solo cup. "Here you go. Are you drinking it straight?" Marcus says, handing me the bottle of vodka. "If you did, you''d be a badass. Vodka by itself tastes awful." I chuckle as I reach for the cranberry juice. "Of course not. I have never drank before tonight and I''m not ready to start downing shots." Marcus laughs as he uses his shirt to take the lid off his beer. "Fair enough." "Do you live here?" I ask, taking a drink. I make a face and realize I added too much vodka this time. "No. I am a part of the frat but I live in an apartment with two of my football teammates." And he plays football? He would be every girl''s dream guy. "You''re on the hockey team right?" "I am. This is my first year." "Can I show you something?" I feel like I should know where this is going, but I''m intrigued nonetheless. "Sure," I say. Marcus starts to walk back the way we came, turning around to make sure I''m following. We make our way to the steps and I see Liv raising her eyebrows at me. I look to my right and see Genevieve and Reya. Reya is shooting me daggers, but I don''t pay her any mind. "Don''t worry. I''m not trying to have sex with you," Marcus says as he leads me up the stairs. "Unless that is something you''re interested in." I could tell he was saying it as a joke but a part of me wouldn''t mind losing my virginity to Marcus. I mean what are the odds of me seeing him again? We play different sports and I just met him tonight. "So you''re offering?" I say suddenly feeling flirty and I know that means the alcohol is hitting. A part of me just wants to get my first time over with, but the other part of me wants to make sure it feels right. "Depends. Are you interested?" Marcus says as he turns around and looks slightly shocked. "Maybe, but first, what do you have to show me?" Marcus turns back to face the stairs as we reach the top. He has us turn left and he opens a bedroom door. I look and see a bed, and random decor items hanging up and on a dresser including a signed hockey puck in a case. I wonder whose room this is, but I don''t care enough to ask "My dad used to be really big into hockey before he passed away. He went to a hockey game in New York and got this signed puck. I figured you would find it interesting since you play hockey and are from New York. Liv told me that, I wasn''t stalking you," Marcus says as he rubs the back of his neck and then he lets out a nervous laugh. Am I making a boy nervous? No way this is happening. "I''m sorry. I realize how dumb I sound." "You don''t sound dumb. Thank you for sharing this with me and I''m sorry about your dad," I say as I put my cup down and gently grab his face to look at me. He looks into my eyes and leans in for a kiss. I kiss him back as I grab his beer and sit it next to my drink. I move my hands to his face and hold it while we kiss. He backs up moving us toward the bed as he turns us around so now my back is against the bed. I move my body to lay down on the bed with him on top of me. Does this feel right? I think to myself. "Is this okay?" Marcus asks, sitting up and breaking our kiss. "Yes," I say in a whisper as I sit up to reach my hands up to pull off his shirt revealing more tattoos on his chest and stomach. I run my hands across the outlines of his tattoos. He takes off my shirt to reveal a red lace bra. "You''re very pretty," He says. I pull his face closer to mine to resume our kiss. "Less talking, more doing," I say, feeling impatient. I am trying to calm my nerves and my heart that is threatening to beat out of my chest. This is really happening. My first time. Does this feel right? I ask myself again. The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Marcus moves his hands behind my back to unclasp my bra and I move my hands to unzip his jeans. He takes his jeans the rest of the way off as I work on getting my skirt off. Marcus looks at my body with lust in his eyes as he pulls down my underwear and I see his erection poking through his black boxers. "Still okay?" He asks. "Yes," I replied. I lay on my back as Marcus climbs on top of me gently moving my head to the side to plant kisses on my neck. He moves down from my neck to my breasts and suddenly this feels wrong. I start to feel anxious and like something is off. This does not feel right. "Stop," I say to Marcus and with more urgency than I had anticipated. He immediately stops and moves to sit next to me. "Are you okay?" Did I do something wrong?" Marcus asks, looking at me concerned. "No, no. I just... I don''t know. It all just started to feel wrong." Marcus looks at me confused. "That''s okay. We don''t have to continue any further." "Thank you," I say as Marcus reaches for my clothes to hand to me. "I''m sorry." "What are you sorry for?" Marcus says as he puts his jeans back on. "I don''t know," I say feeling small and wishing I was anywhere but here. Marcus grabs his shirt and sits next to me again, looking at me. "You felt uncomfortable and you voiced that. Never apologize for that and if any guy or girl makes you feel bad for speaking up then they''re a piece of shit." "Thank you," I say, feeling a bit better, although I feel extremely embarrassed. "I have to ask though," Marcus says and then he hesitates. I feel like I already know what he was going to ask. "Was this going to be your first time?" I sit in silence for a moment giving him his answer. I didn''t plan on telling him this was my first time and I know that''s shitty of me. "I wish you would have told me so I could''ve made you feel more comfortable." I think about my response before I say anything, but I guess I didn''t think about it enough because I blurt, "You didn''t make me feel uncomfortable. I think you being a guy is what made it feel wrong." Damn, Zora. What was that? I think to myself. My sexuality was something I had always avoided thinking about and here I am telling this random guy I was about to have sex with that I think I''m gay. Marcus looks like I just told him the worst thing in the world. "Oh," Marcus says. I know he doesn''t know what to say, because what do you say to that? I am feeling more embarrassed than I did before and just want out of this room. "That''s okay. At least now you know right?" This is so awkward and embarrassing. "Um, you want to go back downstairs?" I resist the urge to jump up and run out of this room, and instead I just nod. Marcus grabs his beer and my drink and hands it to me. We walk downstairs and back into the living room where I see Liv arguing with Reya. Oh no this can''t be good. Marcus and I exchange a look knowing that whatever is happening between them is something bad. I love Liv, but she has a very short temper and will say whatever she wants without giving a fuck about how someone feels about it. "You''re just mad that Marcus got bored with you and wanted to be with someone new," Liv says to Reya. Marcus immediately jumps in between them and tells them to stop. I rush over to Liv and tell her we should go. "Oh there you two are, how was your fuck sesh?" Reya says. I smell the alcohol on her breath and know she has clearly had too much to drink. "I didn''t have sex with her," Marcus says. I am secretly praying that he doesn''t out me to everyone. "Oh you didn''t? I don''t believe you. You will literally fuck anything that walks on this campus." "Well apparently not her," Marcus replies. Ouch, was that an insult? "Liv, let it go. Let Marcus handle it. Let''s go home," I say, trying to calm Liv down as Marcus and Reya continue to argue. Liv finally listens to me as I lead her to the front door. We walked here instead of driving since we knew we would be drinking and it was just two streets from us. "You lost your virginity. That''s crazy," Liv says when we leave the house and begin our walk home. "I didn''t have sex with him," I say, keeping my eyes on the street in front of us instead of looking at Liv. "What?" She says as she stops walking. "What happened?" "I stopped him," I say, not slowing my steps. "Why?" "Because I''m gay!" I blurt out. I stop walking and know Liv hasn''t walked any further and I can just picture the look of shock on her face. "What?" She says again. I sigh. I made my bed and now I must lay in it. "I knew since my freshman year of high school that I wasn''t straight but never explored my sexuality because I was scared. It felt wrong with Marcus so I stopped him. I blurted out that him being a guy is what felt wrong." "Damn," Liv says. "Well at least now you know." "That''s what Marcus said too. I don''t want to talk about it anymore." Liv and I continued walking home in silence. ? ? ? "Zora!" Liv calls from down the hallway. "Zora, wake up!" I hear her voice getting closer to my room. "Zora!" my bedroom door then opens. "What?" I say rolling over in bed to face her. "You have been posted on the UVM Gossips page." "What?" I say quickly sitting up in bed. A UVM gossip page? "Don''t worry. It''s not about you being gay," Liv says as she passes me her computer. I shoot her a look as if that makes it any better. I put on my glasses and grab her computer to read. Did freshman and hockey player Zora Brown have a fun night with senior and football player Marcus Adams at the first party of the semester? Posted is a picture of Marcus and I walking up the stairs.. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is not good. I just joined the hockey team and I''m already a part of a college scandal? "Shit. Who runs this account?" "No one knows. It''s some random college student. People send things in and he posts them," Liv says, taking her computer back. Reya. She was shooting daggers at me when she saw me with Marcus. I bet she sent in the picture to whoever runs the account. "Were Marcus and Reya ever a thing?" I ask. "Kinda. They have been friends with benefits on and off since my freshmen year. Why do you think Reya has something to do with it?" "Maybe. She was shooting daggers at me last night when she saw me with Marcus. We originally went upstairs because he wanted to show me a signed hockey puck his dad got before his dad died." "Hmm, then maybe. I wouldn''t worry about it. Everyone gets posted at least once." "Yeah but I just joined the hockey team." "Well just hope that word doesn''t get out to your coach." I sigh. I don''t really know what to do. I mean what can I do? It''s already posted with an anonymous person running the account and I''m sure that even if I had a way to take it down, plenty of people have already seen it. "Good luck on the calculus test today," Liv says as she grabs her computer and walks out of my room. Shit, I had completely forgotten about my calculus test. I quickly get dressed and head to campus to review my notes before class. I know I told myself I didn''t need to study, but I need a win today. I don''t have physics today and I am grateful for that. Chapter Four: Reya "I am going to fail this calculus test," I say as Genevieve, and I walk to calculus. "I told you, you should''ve studied," she replies. She''s right I would''ve been better off if I had stayed home last night and studied instead of attending the party. I wouldn''t be about to fail my first calculus test right now and I definitely wouldn''t have gotten into a fight with Liv over Zora and Marcus. I am ashamed of my behavior from last night, I''m twenty years old and I didn''t act like it. I still don''t believe that Zora and Marcus didn''t hook up, just knowing what kind of person Marcus is, but I shouldn''t be mad at Zora. I''m sure she didn''t know about Marcus and me. At least I hope anyways, because if she did know that''s really shitty. Genevieve and I walk into calculus, and I see Zora is already there reviewing her notes. I take a seat next to her and she doesn''t even acknowledge my existence. "Hey, I jus¨C" I start before she cut me off. "Did you send in that picture of Marcus and I to the university gossip page?" She asks. What? What picture? "What?" I ask, genuinely confused. "I didn''t stutter. A picture of Marcus and I on the UMV gossip page." "I don''t know what you''re talking about, and I don''t know what the fuck your problem is." I started to get angry. I don''t know who Zora was accusing me of something I had no knowledge about. "Whatever, Reya. Play stupid," Zora said and then she turned away from me. What the hell was she talking about? "Listen I was just about to apologize for what I said last night but fuck that." "Okay everyone. Time for our test, put all your materials away, all you will need is a pencil," Mrs. Hughes announced. I let out a sigh as I got out a pencil, already preparing myself for the F I am going to receive. After our test Mrs. Hughes let us out early. Something about she had to take her dog to the vet and didn''t feel like finishing class. I''m not complaining though I hate calculus and know I just failed that test. I wrote my name on my paper and then turned it in. I had no idea what I was doing, and I wasn''t even going to try. During high school the teachers would always say that professors weren''t going to be as easy going as them and that couldn''t be far from the truth. If I had a dollar for every time one of my professors canceled class only because they didn''t want to teach, I would have enough money to afford an expensive meal at the Cheesecake Factory. "How do you think you did?" Genevieve asked me as we walked out of calculus. My next class was a creative writing class that I signed up for just for fun. I have always had a love for writing and wish I had majored in journalism or something similar, but my parents wanted me to pursue a business degree. I never wanted to go to college to begin with, I just wanted to play hockey and that was it, but my parents had made me pursue a degree of some sort because "my future couldn''t just be hockey". A part of the reason I never wanted to go to college was because I have never liked school, mostly because I was never any good at it. In high school I would try to get good grades and the best I could ever do was a C+, once I got into college I stopped trying. I didn''t see a point in trying at something that I wasn''t good at. When I was in middle school I got diagnosed with dyslexia, but I never got any help because my parents didn''t want to believe there was actually something wrong with me. I sometimes wonder if I would be better at school if I had gotten the help I needed. "Reya? Earth to Reya... Reya!" I hear Genevieve yell, knocking me out of my thoughts. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. "Sorry," I say distantly. "I asked you how you thought you did." "Not well. You?" "I think I passed. That''s okay, Reya. We can study hard and together for the next one." "Yeah," I say. I have never told anyone that I have dyslexia. I feel like it''s embarrassing especially when I mess up the simplest words. I am twenty years old and often can''t tell the difference between certain words. I think my dyslexia is a part of why I signed up for the creative writing class. I do have a passion for writing, but I wanted to prove to myself that my dyslexia doesn''t define me and that I can actually read and write like everyone else. "Okay class. To start off we are going to be writing a prompt. I''m trying something out to get your guys creative juices flowing. Today''s prompt is ''Who Am I?" you will be writing about what makes you well you. You don''t have to share with the class if you don''t want to, but just know I will be reading them," My professor says. Her name is Miss Palmer, and she is kind of an oddball, but she makes writing exciting. I open my notebook and think of what to write. Who am I? Honestly, I don''t know who I am. I''m Reya Jones. I only care about my hockey career and that''s all I know about myself. "Your paper is blank," Miss Palmer says, knocking me out of my thoughts. "Uh, yeah. I don''t really know who I am," I say embarrassed. "You don''t know what makes you, you? What about your interests, or what would your friends say about you? What would your family say about you? What would you say about yourself?" She says and then she walks away. I sigh and close my notebook. I put it in my backpack and leave the classroom feeling overwhelmed. I don''t know who I am, and I don''t know if I''m ready to figure that out. ? ? ? ? ? ? "Beautiful shot, Reya," Coach said to me during practice. My teammates come over to congratulate me and I feel proud of myself. The only one who didn''t come over was Zora. I try not to let that bother me, but I can''t help but wonder who sent the post into the gossip page. Practice is over and Zora and I are the only two left in the locker rooms. "For the record I didn''t have sex with Marcus," Zora says. "What?" I say. She didn''t have sex with Marcus. The guy that everyone would kill to have one night with? "You heard me. I didn''t have sex with Marcus," she says and before I could say anything she walks out of the locker room. I get up and debate whether or not I should go after her. I decide not to and just walk to my car instead. "You did great tonight, Reya. I think you will have no problems becoming team captain," Coach says to me as we both walk into the parking lot. I smile at that. Maybe being captain will finally make my parents proud of me. I get into my car and look at my phone to see a notification from Brightspace. My calculus grade. I sigh as I click on it and see that I got a 25/50 on my calculus quiz. Fuck. I click on the submission comments and see Mrs. Hughes''s message. Come see me before class in the morning. I will offer you a retake. I close the message as I try to calm my breathing. Okay, okay. She''s giving me a second chance I can''t fuck this up. "Calculus grades are in," Genevieve says to me when I walk in the door. "I saw. I got a 25/50," I say as I sit my hockey bag down. "What?" "Yeah. She is offering me a retake before class tomorrow. Can you help me study?" "Of course," Genevieve says as she pauses the show she is watching. She had skipped practice today to take her mom to a doctor''s appointment. Her mom has been battling stage four cancer for the past few months. I get my calculus notes out and she gets hers. "Okay, so you remember learning derivatives in high school?" "No," I say. "Okay, so we will just start from the beginning then." Genevieve explains derivatives to me and why we are learning about them as I just nod along even though I am lost and confused. I am so fucked. I tell myself to breathe as I get ready earlier than usual to retake my calculus test. Genevieve stayed up until four in the morning to help me study and it is now six. I will definitely have to buy her a coffee or something for helping me, whether I pass or not. I still don''t completely understand the material, but I feel like I understand enough to at least get a C which is passing. "Thank you for this, Mrs. Hughes," I say when I arrive at the classroom and see her there waiting. "Of course. If I''m being honest, I only offered you a retake because you are the only one who failed." Oh. Lovely. "Either way. Thank you." "Same rules as yesterday, and I will grade it before class so you will have your grade." I nod as I take out a pencil and wait for her to hand me the test. Here goes nothing. It was easier than the first one, so I feel good about it. I take a deep breath as I hand in the test and go back to sit down while I wait for her to grade it. I feel myself getting anxious while I watch her grade the test, so I decide to get some breakfast to distract myself. I come back to the classroom and see she is no longer grading my test. "You did better than the first time," Mrs. Hughes says and I can''t help the smile that''s forming on my face. "But you still failed. 29/50, 58%, still failing." Shit. Chapter Five: Zora I tap my fingers on the keyboard of my laptop as I stare at the empty document in front of me. I''m supposed to be writing an argumentative paper as to how medicine can cause more harm than good, but I can''t focus. I glance at the clock and see it''s only four in the afternoon and I don''t have hockey until five. After hockey I have my first shift at the campus library. Claire called me yesterday and said Marissa, the girl that is training me, was sick so she told me not to come in. I open another tab on my laptop and pull up the UMV gossip page. The post is still there with thousands of likes and hundreds of comments. I know I shouldn''t go through them again but I can''t help myself. "Who is this new girl?" ? "I don''t know, but she''s kinda hot." ?"I heard she''s a freshman on the hockey team. Way to go Marcus." "I thought Marcus was a thing with Reya Jones?" ? "Apparently not anymore, I think she''s hotter than whoever this is." ? "For sure. This new girl looks ugly." ? "I heard that she''s gay" Wait. What? I read that last comment again. "I heard that she''s gay" What the fuck. Marcus told me he wasn''t going to tell anyone. I haven''t even had time to process my sexuality. Oh my god, what are my parents going to think? They will disown me. My parents are catholic and I grew up as such if I came out as gay they would hate me. Calm down, Zora, you don''t even know if you''re actually gay. Maybe you just said that because you were actually scared to have sex with Marcus. I think to myself. I close my laptop and put it in my book bag to take with me to the library. I grab my hockey bag and head to the rink. "Hey, Zora," Marissa says as she sits next to me in the locker room. "Hey," I say back as I try to hide my confusion on why she''s talking to me. "Claire told me you got a job at the campus library. I work the night shift so I''ll be the one training you tonight. I just wanted to introduce myself." "Oh, okay. I''m excited for the first day." Marissa chuckled. "You don''t have to act excited, I know the campus library is a boring job. Claire takes that job so seriously and it''s actually funny." I smile at her. Maybe I will finally make my first friend. "Reya. My office now," Coach yells into the locker room. We all look up as Reya looks up with an "oh shit" look on her face. "What''s happening?" I say. "I don''t know, but Coach looks pissed," Marissa replies. "I heard she failed her calculus test twice," Jade says to Marissa and I. I fight to hide the smile that is threatening to form on my lips. I knew she was going to fail the test, but getting a retake and failing that one too is too funny to me. I guess this is her karma. "So what will happen?" I ask. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. "Well our first scrimmage is in two days and I doubt she will be able to get it up by then she will be benched for that and probably until she gets it up," Jade says. "All of that and she will probably have to see a tutor depending on how low her grade is." Damn. Being benched, that won''t look good for her if she is fighting for team captain. "Yeah. This semester is not going well for her. First you fuck her boyfriend and now she is probably getting benched for our first scrimmage," Genevieve says. "I didn''t have sex with Marcus," I say. "Oh you didn''t? So that''s not you in the photo going upstairs with him?" "That was me, I''ll admit it, but I didn''t have sex with him." "Oh, right. Is that because you''re gay?" "I''m not gay," I say as I feel my face getting red. "Really Geni? That was a low blow even for you," Marissa says. "Yeah what the fuck," Jade says. "That was super shi¡ª Oh my god. Zora, are you okay?" Rue starts but I''m not listening. I reach for my chest and lean over to try to catch my breath. It feels like an elephant is standing on my chest. "Someone go get Coach!" Jade says as Marissa is already on her way. "You''re okay. Just breathe. In and out. Take a breath in and let it out slowly," Jade says with her hand on my back. "What''s going on?" Coach says coming into the locker room with Reya following close behind. "I think she''s having a panic attack," Jade says. "Keep doing that. In and out. It''s okay." "What happened?" Coach says as everyone stays silent. "Someone needs to tell me what happened right now or we''re spending the whole practice doing skating drills." The pressure on my chest starts to lift up and I''m not struggling to breathe as much anymore. I stand up and walk out of the locker room and outside. Fresh air. I need fresh air. "Zora," Coach calls after me. "What the fuck happened?" I hear him say before I''m out the door. I keep trying to catch my breath while hunched over sitting on a bench. "I''m sorry. Are you okay?" Genevieve looks at me. I turn to her as my breathing starts to return back to normal. She starts to walk closer to me and I put my hand out for her to stop. She stops walking and I am now breathing normally. "Fuck you," I say as I get up from the bench and walk back inside. I see my teammates on the ice doing skating drills. I sit down and put my skates on to join them. "You don''t have to do the skating drills," Coach says. "What kind of team captain would I be if I didn''t?" I say as I stand up and join my teammates on the ice. I may be a freshman and I may not get picked for team captain but that won''t stop me from trying. Coach stuck to his word and we did in fact do skating drills because no one would tell him what happened. After practice I rushed to take my skates off and went to the locker room to grab my bag. I''ll change either when I get to the library or on the way. "Hey, Zora. Glad to see you again. I''m heading out for the night, Marissa should be here any minute," Claire says to me. I just smile at her as I stand and wait for Marissa. "How are you feeling? If you don''t feel like you need to be here tonight you can go home," Marissa says walking to the front desk and I follow her. "I''m fine. It''s fine. I''d rather be here," I say, showing her a weak smile. "Okay," she smiles back as she sits her things down. "Not much happens during the night so I bring my homework to work on it." She sits down and opens her laptop. I sit in the chair next to her and do the same. It''s eight at night and my paper is due at midnight. After an hour of silence, I have three out of five pages written and Marissa is doodling on her iPad. "Zora," she says as she sets her iPad down. "I''m gay." I look at her puzzled. "I''m happy for you," I say, unsure of what else to say. "Thank you, but I''m saying it to let you know it''s okay if you are. It''s okay to be gay and don''t let Genevieve or anyone else tell you it''s wrong." "I''m not gay, but thank you," I say and turn my attention back to my paper. I''m not gay, right? I mean I couldn''t be. What happened with Marcus was just a fluke. I got nervous is all. Marissa gives me a sad smile and goes back to doodling. Eleven thirty hits and I''m convinced that I won''t get to do anything on my first night until I see someone walk through the library doors and towards the front desk. Reya Jones. "Hey, Reya. Something we can help you find?" Marissa says. "Um... I, uh," she starts looking at the ground and then clears her throat. "I came to get information about a tutor." "I''m sorry, but we don''t currently have a tu¨C" Marissa starts. "I''m a tutor," I say. Marissa turns to me looking not surprised. Wait, did she know I was a tutor? Was she trying to cover for me after what happened in the locker room? "Yeah. Claire told me to ask for you when I came in. She said you are the only one who offers tutoring services that would work around my hockey schedule." A part of me is intrigued that she is the one asking me for help and the other part of me is nervous because I''ve never tutored anyone and I know her hockey career is on the line. But then again why should I care if she''s failing calculus. She''s the one who is continuing to make my life hell. I clear my throat. "Okay. Um, let''s talk and figure out a schedule that works for both of us." I get up and walk to one of the empty study rooms and I hear her following close behind. I''m going to be tutoring Reya Jones. This day couldn''t possibly get any worse.