《Martial God has Some Magic Troubles》


 Chapter 1

    It is three twenty-five on a sunny and warm May afternoon. My another day in high school ends. Instead of going home, I climb the stairs to the roof of the school¡¯s main building. Nobody is there, the roof is as if the quietest place in this universe.


    This is indeed a serene afternoon in a beautiful world, except for magic explosions that are constantly rumbling on the playground beneath the building.


    It''s the close combat course for the intermediate level magicians, where a bunch of ninth or tenth graders flings level-two fireballs or ice shards or lightning arcs at each other. Fun extra-curriculum activity to be honest.


    My name is Eason Lu, an ordinary high school student at Los Angeles 19th Magic Senior High.


    And yes, I am living in a world of magic.


    I don¡¯t know exactly why, but it seems that magic has been prevailing in this world since primeval time. At least that¡¯s what the history textbooks have told me.


    People in medieval ages were starting to discover the various usage of magic, as well as burning whoever didn¡¯t believe in magic with incineration spells.


    Mankind had become more and more obsessed with magic ever since. At the beginning of the 20th century, the First World War of Wizards broke out. Then there went the Second World War of Wizards taking place between 1935 to 1945, it was the first time that mass-destruction above-God-tier spells were used on civilians, such as ¡°The ultimate fireball retribution¡± and ¡°The forbidden sun¡±, killing millions of people.


    After the ¡°black warlords¡± were defeated and sentenced to life imprisonment, sealed into obsidian spheres, and sunk into the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean, the world once again returned to peace. Treaties had been signed to prevent any more usage of such massively destructive spells.


    It''s now 2020. We have magic-powered cars and planes; teleporting and flying spells were still under the government''s strict control. Most kids in the world are required to take a nine-year-long fundamental education program; that, of course, is free and supported by each country¡¯s government.


    Kids nowadays are lucky. I¡¯ve heard my teachers mention countless times that back in their times, learning magic was a privilege of the upper-classes. Now thanks to the governments and the ¡°free magic¡± campaigns in the 90s, everyone has the right to learn and use magic. And one of the old profs in my ¡°Introduction to Light Magic¡± course even cries like a baby every time he tells us about it. So I believe him.


    I was born in the States, raised by my parents for sixteen years in Los Angeles. My father was Chinese but my mother was English, a wonderful lady with brown hair and blue eyes. Either way, I¡¯m not a true American. But it doesn''t matter and I never get bullied in school, because judging or making fun of any magician¡¯s race, sexualities or anything else personal is also forbidden.


    Back to me. I will try to explain everything in short. When a kid is six years old, staff in the elementary school brings over an equipment called the ¡°The Testing Hat¡±. It jumps on kids¡¯ heads and determines their potential in learning magic, shouting out a result ranging from F to SSS. In case you are wondering, yes, it was a magical talking hat.


    I got an F, which I guess it stood for ¡°Fuck, boy, you better go home and give up, because magic just isn¡¯t your shit.¡± Because that was the last sentence Testing Hat yelled at me before it was led into the police car.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    Just for your information, getting an F from the Testing Hat is actually so rare, that even the possibility of getting an SSS is slightly greater. Apparently everyone in this world has at least a bit of magic affinity except me.


    I blame this all on that book I found within my grandpa¡¯s secretly sealed casket. I was four at that time. I walked down to the storage room in the basement for my routine adventure while my parents were on the second floor, alone in their bedroom, probably having sex.


    I found this casket among other rubbish and old history books in the corner. It was not locked, so I opened it and found an aged booklet. Its cover had almost worn off, but I could still read some Chinese characters written on it because my dad had taught me those.


    It translated to ¡°Classic of Divine Martial Arts¡±. I read it from page one. There were almost no more texts, only pictures of hundreds of strange arrows drawn on human bodies. The title said: ¡°Let the Qi flow into your body, and strengthen your blows.¡±


    Qi is a Chinese word means ¡°breath¡± or ¡°flow of life energy¡±. I don¡¯t know how to explain it accurately. But it can REALLY strengthen my blows. The result was that I got too obsessed with the lectures on that book and wanted to study it with my best. I tried to avoid letting my parents know about this, but fortunately, they also have sex a lot, so almost every afternoon I had an hour or two to practice.


    Maybe I was just too talented, after a year when I was five, I finished its last chapter. I could feel the endless amount of Qi flowing violently inside my body. And that, after all, might be the reason I could no longer sense the magic in the air around me.


    I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s a good or bad thing in this world of magic. And I cannot undo what I have learned.


    It has many drawbacks. When the other kids were playing dodgeball in wizard robes ¨C instead of balls they throw enchanted fireballs ¨C I¡¯d rather sit and watch, because the fireball always breaks into sparks the moment I touch it.


    Also, I accidentally killed a unicorn when I was seven. I popped it into a splatter of blood and flesh with one punch.


    First of all, magic creatures are very common in this world, and unicorns are the particularly strong ones: their horns are capable of casting saint-level spells, and their skins tough as steel. Secondly, I swear it wasn¡¯t solely my fault. We encountered in a grove near my neighborhood, nobody else was around. I probably startled it; it neighed loudly and lifted front hooves as a warning. I, on the other hand, got too scared, so I uncontrollably threw an uppercut with my eyes closed.


    When I opened my eyes again, the unicorn became a pile of blood with a bunch of whitish gross tissue twitching on the ground.


    I fled right away, and even until now I still feel sorry about it.


    At the age of eleven, I officially became a ¡°martial god¡±.


    I didn¡¯t give myself that title, instead; it was the booklet that said: ¡°He who crushes ten mountains with one blow is to be considered as the ultimate of the Divine Martial Arts, and thus shall be addressed as the ¡®Martial God¡¯.¡±


    I didn¡¯t get a chance finding ten mountains at once to try it out until my parents took me to the Grand Canyon for the summer when I was eleven. Otherwise, I figured I could make it a few years earlier.


    I also learned not to trust books too much. When it said ¡°ten mountains¡±, it could actually mean twenty-six. I read that number from the newspaper and I don¡¯t want to elaborate. The experts concluded it was caused by some black magicians illegally trying out God-tier spells. So that was that.


    As I grow up older, I realize that my power could be a big problem or even a threat to people nearby.


    I never pick or accept fights with other kids who study magic, because I still remember vividly how I punched that unicorn into pieces with one blow.


    I tried to isolate myself from other people. I tried not to have friends. I can''t tell anyone that I''m a million times stronger than everybody in this world, even to my family. I fear that I no longer have equals on this planet.


    I¡¯m sixteen years old now. I don¡¯t want to be a hero. I just dream to live my peaceful life in this world of magic. Alone.


    But there''re always people wanting to ruin my dream: The door to the roof was pushed open. I hear somebody walked closer and faster.


    I need not look. I could sense the incomer¡¯s identity even from twenty yards away with the Qi flowing around me.


    It was Lexie, a girl who had a crush on me since grade nine. I swear I tried really hard to avoid contact with girls. But someone like her just won¡¯t give up.


    Oh, girl. Please leave me alone.


    ¡°EEEEaaaaSonnnn!¡± She lunges at me and gives me a firm embrace from behind. But it was so tight that I have to start tapping her back.


    ¡°Lexie... Stop, you are going to choke me.¡±

 Chapter 2

    She finally lets loose of her arms, although the feeling of her chest pressing tightly on my back is pretty damn awesome. I almost want to ask her to hug me again. But I can¡¯t. I¡¯m a cool person. A cool person never proposes such inappropriate requests.


    ¡°What do you want?¡± I ask, gazing at the far end of the horizon. A cool person never looks at people while talking to them.


    ¡°Invite you for a cup of coffee? I''ll pay.¡± She chuckles. Her slightly curled hazel hair flows down to her shoulder and waves as she approaches closer to me.


    ¡°No. ¡± I say. ¡°Take one sip of caffeinated drink after 2 pm and I won¡¯t be able to sleep for the entire night.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s too sad...¡± She leans toward me a little. ¡°Milk tea then?¡±


    ¡°You totally didn¡¯t get the caffeine part, did you?¡± I say, sighing inwardly.


    ¡°Then what are you doing on the roof? It¡¯s kind of cold here, isn¡¯t it?¡± She asks, leans herself closer. She thinks her canny movements are unnoticeable, but I can sense them very clearly. I moved away.


    No, it shouldn¡¯t be cold; it¡¯s May already. But I¡¯m not very sure of that either.


    I always release a small part of Qi from inside my body to form a thin yet unpenetrable layer of protection two millimeters above my skin: an invisible enclosed Qi shell that keeps me from any kind of outside harm: dust, germs, bacteria, rain, snow, et cetera. It also controls the temperature of the air around me. I¡¯ve set it to twenty-three degrees Celsius for five years, that¡¯s the temperature that makes me feel the most comfortable.


    ¡°Empty-mindedly relaxing,¡± I answer.


    ¡°Great. So you are not busy.¡± Lexie nods, taking out a deck of cards from her backpack. ¡°Let¡¯s play Magic Uno!¡±


    Seriously? I now regret not saying yes when she first proposed to buy me a coffee.


    There are two types of ¡®Uno¡¯s: the regular one and the Magic one, their rules identical: each player plays a card with one of ten numbers from 0 to 9 and one of six colors representing six basic elements making up this magic world - fire, water, wind, earth, light, and shadow. The only difference is that the magic one releases fancy spells every time a card is played based on its element. It¡¯s basically a visually enhanced version of regular Uno, but three times more expensive.


    Last year they also released ¡°Magic Uno VR¡±, a sensibly more useless and even more expensive version. What can I say? Technology makes people crazy.


    She is wearing our high school¡¯s uniform for spring: a camel-colored thin sweater over a white short sleeve shirt. The brooch with 19th High School¡¯s silvery blue logo is on her left chest. She smells of rose and jasmine, which possibly come from some classic Chanel perfumes. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°You know, next time when Ian and Alicia have time, we four could play Mahjong together.¡±She says, playing a six of the fire element.


    I play four of the fire element, shrug to show my nonchalance.


    Lexie is a perfect girl, almost too perfect to be real. She¡¯s the daughter of a renowned local entrepreneur although I¡¯m not sure what kind of business her family does. She¡¯s kind and adorable, the Juliet to every restless, teenaged Romeo. She¡¯s the most talented student in this school, or even the whole city: specializing in light magic spells, excelling in studies with a cGPA of 4.0. She¡¯s too excellent in every aspect, which is the reason I¡¯ve never acknowledged her as my friend.


    Being friends with popular people puts me under the spotlights, and that could mean troubles. Lexie may be thinking that I¡¯ve already accepted her as a friend, well, I haven¡¯t. What we¡¯re having right now is an acceptable normal relationship between high school classmates. If she wants to move forward into the next stage, which is eating lunch with me in the lunch period,  she needs to try a lot harder to earn it.


    Just like Lexie, I excel in every course in school, as long as it doesn¡¯t involve casting magic, which the only thing I¡¯m unable to do. To be honest, finding someone in school who¡¯s sufficiently smart as me isn¡¯t easy, and Lexie has almost met my requirements.


    Except that she sucks at card games.


    At the twelfth round, I¡¯ve played my second last card on my hand and there¡¯re still seven more on Lexie¡¯s. She squints hardly at my last card as if trying to look it through. If she plays her next card wrong, the game will end with a bunch of fancy mini golden fireworks shooting off from my head: it¡¯s an exclusive feature that only comes with Magic Uno Gold Edition 2018.


    The next moment I hear my name is announced in the broadcast.


    ¡°Eason Lu, please come to the main office. Eason Lu, please come to the main office immediately.¡±


    Just about time.


    ¡°Oh, I forgot to call ¡®Uno¡¯. You win, Lexie.¡± I drop my hand.


    ¡°What?¡± Lexie sits stunned as golden fireworks shoot upwards from her head.


    ¡°That was an intense and fun game. But I got carried away by the hype of victory and missed the most important part. ¡±I say while striding downstairs. ¡°Victory is yours. Now if you excuse me¡­ I need to go to the main office.¡±


    Lexie wants to follow up but then she realizes she has a whole box of Uno cards to sort.


    ¡°Wait¡­ Hey! Eason! I¡¯ll wait for you in front of the office!¡±


    I leave without even looking back. Everything goes just as I planned. Today¡¯s the last day for students to select their courses for next semester in September and Mrs. Grintonham, the guidance counselor, will check everyone¡¯s selection throughout the day, and ask them to come to the office if there¡¯s any problem.


    And the biggest problem, me, is always to be dealt with at last. I didn¡¯t go home right away after school because I expected to be called. I even went on the roof to avoid bumping into Lexie, but I didn¡¯t expect that she could still find me and invite me for a few rounds of Uno.


    It takes two minutes and a half for Mrs. Grintonhamto to go to the cafeteria for a cup of afternoon coffee and some bagels then head back. Five more minutes for her to refresh her makeup and broadcast my name around the whole school.


    So I played my card at a pace that at the exact moment when I¡¯m called, I had my last card on hand. This way I can secure my defeat by not yelling out ¡°Uno¡±, end this game gracefully and - not too early to leave two of us in tens of seconds of awkward silence or too late to make Mrs. Grintonham wait.


    A cool person never lets a lady lose in a game, or let her wait.


    By the time I arrive at the main office. Mrs. Grintonham has only taken one bite on her first bagel.


    ¡°The principal wants to see you, Eason.¡±She says.

 Chapter 3

    I¡¯m in the principal¡¯s office now. It¡¯s weird. Mrs. Grintonham is the one most students expect to talk with when they have problems. Having a word with the principal? This does not feel good.


    Principal Wills is a black man, tall and dressed in a fine black suit. I estimate that he¡¯s in his forties based on his scarce hair amount on the head. We don¡¯t frequently see him around school, so I guess he¡¯s busy most of the time.


    ¡°Eason Lu?¡± He asks.


    ¡°Here I am.¡± I reply.


    ¡°Come and sit. I need a word with you.¡± He gestures me to sit down in front of his giant office desk made of premium maple. I can tell that ornate and sturdy office desk must worth thousands. On its polished glossy surface, an enchanted golden mechanic arm is floating in the midair, automatically dipping a tea bag in his blue porcelain teapot up and down at a slow and steady pace.


    ¡°That¡¯s cool.¡± I praised the principal¡¯s superior taste in furniture selection.


    ¡°Thanks.¡± Principal Wills laughs, ¡°The Magical Tea DipperArm! I bought it from ¡®Mostco¡¯ for two hundred dollars. A fantastic deal, and it also comes with a two-year warranty. You want a cup of black tea made by this?¡±


    ¡°Sure. I don¡¯t see a reason not enjoying free beverage.¡± I say, pulling over a filled cup from the saucer. ¡°So waving up and down is the only gesture this arm could do?¡± I ask this question purely out of curiosity.


    ¡°Well¡­ You are right.¡± He lets out a slight sigh. ¡°But look, when you grow up you will understand, Eason, that buying useless and expensive novelties are, notably, one of the rich people¡¯s common hobbies. I¡¯m rich, Eason, and I want to show it off in school.¡±


    ¡°Cool¡­ I see.¡± I reply in an indifferent tone. ¡°I suppose tea bags aren¡¯t the only thing this arm can grasp. ¡±


    Principal Wills almost spills his cup. He coughs loud and deliberately, trying to interrupt my sentence.


    ¡°Ok. Back to our topic.¡± He says. ¡°Eason. You are grade ten now, am I right?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Gonna be grade eleven in September.¡±


    He nods with me.  ¡°Good. Good. ¡­ So, Mrs. Grintonham has told me of your situation...¡± He takes a pile of files from the desk, looking at it as he speaks,  ¡°I want you to understand that we are always trying our best to provide every student in our district a diverse, discrimination-free environment to study and live in. We treat all students equally and...¡±


    ¡°Are you just reading off those files?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, whatever, you catch my drift.¡± Principal Wills turns his gaze toward me as his tone gets serious. ¡°Eason, bad things could happen. To All of us, and at all times. We know that you were rated F by the Testing Hat when you were young and you have difficulties casting magic.¡±


    ¡°That is one hundred percent true.¡± I agree with his statement. ¡°And ¡®having difficulties casting magic¡¯ actually means ¡®can¡¯t cast magic at all¡¯.¡±


    ¡°But that could not be a proper excuse for only earning ...twelve credits during your two years in high school. You - you¡¯ve only taken twelve courses in two years? ¡±


    ¡°How many total credits do I need to graduate again?¡± I ask because I really don¡¯t know.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    ¡°Forty.¡± Principal Wills emphasizes. ¡°You are way behind, Eason. Way behind. You¡¯ll need to take twenty-eight courses in two years, seven courses per semester on average. Furthermore, we have just found out that you¡¯ve been taking ¡®Introduction to herbalism¡¯ repeatedly for three semesters in a row... hold on... oh for lord¡¯s sake, you are taking it for the fourth time this September? You get 100% as the final mark on that course every time, why would you do that?!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ Mrs. Eisenberg offers free soft chunk cookies to everyone before class. ¡± I answered frankly.


    ¡°Well, looks like you aren¡¯t going to have free cookies in September.¡± Principal Wills takes a pen from his pocket and draws a line across on one of the papers, scribbling new notes down. ¡°I will switch you to¡­ ¡®Defense techniques against forbidden spells¡¯. Mr. Molvolt¡¯s section. That¡¯ll do it.¡±


    ¡°Am I going to learn defensive spells on that course?¡±


    ¡°Yes. And you need to learn to cast them.¡±


    ¡°But you know I can¡¯t cast any magic.¡±


    ¡°Eason, we are trying our best to help too.¡± Mr. Wills puts down his pen and stares at me, ¡°But the truth is, we offer fifty-five courses in this high school but only thirty-eight of them are purely theoretical studies and not requiring any casting of spells.¡±


    ¡°But...¡±


    ¡°So I don¡¯t care what courses you are going to take, you have to pass at least two courses, in which you must learn to juice some bit of darn magic out of your wand. ¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t force a man on a wheelchair to stand up and run.¡± I am confused, and even sort of annoyed. ¡°An ¡®F¡¯ from the Testing Hat means no magic affinity whatsoever. I¡¯m sure you are certain of that too.¡±


    I take a sip the black tea, rest my elbows on the desk.


    Mr. Wills shakes his head after he clicks his tongue in despise.


    ¡°Nah, I don¡¯t trust that bastard hat anymore since it was arrested and accused of sixteen child sexual abuse cases last year. ¡±


    ¡°What?... Ok.¡± I decide not to investigate that further.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t read the news? That¡¯s fine...¡± Mr. Wills shrugs. ¡°My point is, even that retarded kid Evan in our special education program can...¡±


    ¡°Sir...¡± I want to warn him of his inappropriate language.


    ¡°Ok!¡± He corrects his wording and waves his hand, ¡°Kid with intellectual disability! I mean even a kid with intellectual disability can learn to cast fireballs - even though he haven¡¯t realized that throwing it at principal¡¯s pants is not right - he can still do it! How hard is it for you to cast some spells?¡±


    ¡°Harder than you¡¯d imagine. Sir.¡± I answer.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but it¡¯s also the policy of the school board which I¡¯m not able to violate. Eason. I¡¯m going to say this, only once.¡± Principal Wills sighs deeply, falls into silence, then claims solemnly. ¡°This is a sad but inevitable fact: if you don¡¯t learn to cast magic, we cannot offer you a diploma from this high school of magic, which means, you will not be able to graduate from high school. Forever.¡±


    So what happens next is solely my fault. The Qi flowing in my body is so enormous and forceful that sometimes even I lose control of it if I¡¯m not paying enough attention. That, as a result, makes me uncontrollably exert some huge forces on my surrounding objects.


    The fact that I might no be able to graduate kind of shocks me. For one millisecond, I grasp the cup in my hand a bit tighter, and then it shatters into thousands of glittering pieces in a crystal clear ¡°boom¡±.


    Black tea spills onto Principal Wills¡¯ face. But before he¡¯s able to realize and make any reaction, the sudden explosion of the teacup startles me first. Qi flow out of my elbows and into the principal¡¯s maple office desk.


    Another boom. The desk cracks into a rubble of wood pieces on the floor. So now the Principal and I are sitting on chairs, face to face, staring at each other in awkward silence.


    The enchanted arm is still moving up and down with the tea bag, although there¡¯s no teapot beneath it anymore.


    We sit there for like two more minutes, nobody ever says another word.


    Finally, I say: ¡°Well, that¡¯s pretty odd, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± He replies, still holding the last intact teacup in hand, his eyes dull and expressionless. Right. He''s gonna take a while to process what just happened.


    ¡°If you excuse me, I should leave now.¡±


    ¡°Yeah."


    I quietly walk out of the principal¡¯s office and smoothly closed the door.


    Damn. I really need to find a way to restrain my power.