《Falcon Punch》


 A Calm Apocalypse

    The truth of panic is that most people don¡¯t run for their lives, they walk. Or, more accurately, they shuffle quickly toward the goal. They know that the world around them is about to change drastically, and yet they move as quick as a grandma getting her heart rate up with a power walk. You can¡¯t blame them, there wasn¡¯t a spewing volcano threatening them for the last hour. Poseidon¡¯s wrath was not opening his jaw to consume the world in a tidal wave. The earth was not shivering earthquakes, nor were the heavens weeping acidic tears. No, the world was ending at the end of a gun.


    Humanity had no role and did not commit suicide. Instead, a giant laser beam from galaxies away was focused, accidentally, on earth.


    Alien wars have always been messy affairs, which worlds being constant collateral damage. Often, this isn¡¯t given much consideration, as life forms on so few planets. Intelligent life on an extreme minority of those.


    As Josh shuffled his way to from the hostile to the designated zone, he wondered about that intelligence. Most of the smart people should have already left by now. It was probably foolish to wait so long. Human scientists had confirmed the alien business interest was correct. Earth would be destroyed. They differed on time, but not on result. Josh nodded to a small family packing up a picnic lunch on their way to the portal. He suspected that the family was trying to inject some form of normalcy for their children.


    Others in the crowds, looked to be staying. Perhaps they were waiting for a day or two more, getting the absolute last moments of earth possible. Josh couldn¡¯t blame them, he had spent the week enjoying as many earthly pleasures as possible. The world was half empty by this time, which made a lot of services tricky.


    Airlines had been shutdown, though small pilots were still shuttling people non-stop. That didn¡¯t bug Josh, as he was within walking distance of a portal. A lot of humanity had naturally clumped towards the portals, just in case a last-minute run had to be done.


    As Josh watched two cars crash in a fender bender ahead of him, he shook his head. Those cars would never be fixed, ever. The world was ending, and that meant insurance companies as well.


    Josh started pondering about the alien company. If they were a business, was there also alien insurance out there? How big would they build policies? Could you insure a world? Or does a giant laser wiping out your home plant count as a pre-existing condition.


    Josh continued to walk to the large building in the center of town. Originally, he had planned to spend every last minute he could. But his curiosity for the unknown finally outweighted his wonderlust for this area. True, he could rent a bike and go as far as his heart wanted. That would be, at most 50-100 miles, which when you compared that to light years away, seemed extremely close.


    Every morning, for the last week, felt like a slow morning panic. The afternoon always calmed down and laughter could be heard on the streets after sunset. No one much cared about outdoor night drinking, after all, the world was ending.


    This morning, Josh knew he wouldn¡¯t see the night¡¯s party. This morning, he was going to take the biggest leap of his life. He was going to sign the alien contract and get off the planet.


    The line outside the black round ship was calm. People smiled and talked about rumors they had heard. Everyone knew somone¡¯s uncle who had come back from the portal, and told them what it was like. The problem was that no one seemed to have a direct relative who returned. Josh recognized these rumors for what they truly were, nerves.


    ¡°They heard it was like an jungle with giant insects and all the aliens were blue.¡± a woman in front of Josh said. The man next to her shook his head, ¡°No, no, no. It¡¯s a sky based society. It¡¯s the only logical conclusion.¡± Josh heard the woman argue, as the line slowly moved forward.


    Josh looked back at where he was standing just a few minutes ago. He looked at that spot on the ground. He would never stand in that spot again. He felt like he was being ejected out of the planet, in slow motion.


    Every once in a while, a person left the ship. They were the ones who heard the contract and decided to leave. Perhaps they would come back again tomorrow? Josh wondered.


    The woman and the man disappeared into the office inside the alien ship. Josh looked around their shoulders to see what the alien really looked like. Sure, pictures of them had been shown on nearly every major news channel non-stop for weeks. Still, a part of him doubted all of this. He saw the pure white blob with a black swirling around before the door closed. The blobs inside the black resembled a smiling face.


    Josh sucked in a breath as the door opened seconds after it had closed. Josh looked around for the man and woman, but didn¡¯t seem them. The white blob creature standing on the other side of the desk looked at him smiling.


    Josh thought it must have been a magic trick at first, but realized that it was like the news had related: time delation. Who knew how long the young couple had been in the office? Stolen story; please report.


    Josh walked into the office and kept his eyes on the corner. Like a dresser, tucked away in a room, forgotten until needed, was an inter-dimensional portal system. It shimmered blue and silver on the surface, as if it were two liquids that didn¡¯t mix. Josh kept watching the portal, until he heard a voice come out in front of him.


    ¡°Hello there human. Would you like to have a seat please?¡±


    Josh looked at the white blob. The voice sounded like it was coming from everywhere. Josh turned toward the desk and saw a speaker sitting there. He also looked around the room and saw other low tech speakers, plugged into the walls. It was such a stark contrast, the cheap speakers mixed with technology that was literally out of this world.


    ¡°I am sorry, I haven¡¯t been here before. This is my first time.¡± Josh responded to th white blob as he sat down.


    ¡°Understandable. 87.43% of all humans that entered my office within a light rotation have been stunned by the portal.¡± The white blob grew out toward the portal, as if it was an arm guestering.The blob reformed into one chunk in the room and continued.


    ¡°I assume your information sources have kept you clarified on the upcoming fate of this mineral planet?¡±


    Josh nodded.


    ¡°That is a satisfactory requirement met. Have they informed you of our role and requirements?¡± The black in the white blob moved from the outline of a face, insto a question mark.


    ¡°I think so. They are saying you are offering a contract in exchange for passage?¡± Josh replied.


    ¡°Again, satisfactory. Yes, in exchange for a gold coin debt, we will allow this.¡± The black liquid in the white blob turned back from a question mark to a smiling face.


    Josh froze, a cold chill running down his back. This was the part that didn¡¯t make any sense to him. The planet was doomed, why did aliens care about gold? In addition, the news made it sound like it wasn¡¯t exactly gold that they wanted?


    ¡°Can you clarify the gold requirement for me, please?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°Yes. We look to cover our costs in this business trip. In addition, we not only paid for transportations, but we also bought a training world. This was quite expensive.¡± The blob¡¯s face turned into money symbols, and the back again.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t bring any gold with me.¡± Josh said truthfully.


    ¡°Not a concern, you will earn the gold on the training planet.¡± The blob pleasantly smiled.


    ¡°What if I am not able to earn the money?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°The contract we have specified has a clause in that case. We write off the expense from our account, including transportation back to earth.¡± The blob replied.


    ¡°Wait, I though the Earth was going to be destroid?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°Yes, in that case, you would be transported back to where Earth should be. Our calculations run said there is a low liklihood humans will evolve anatomy to survive in space in that time. That will help humans towards the satisfactory result of bolstering our budget sheets.¡±


    ¡°How is this different than slavery?¡± Josh asked, under his breath a bit louder than he anticipated.


    ¡°We will not give you freedom requirements through the portal. Your societal ramifications will be up to you, not us. All we care about is the transfer of coin to pay for expenses.¡±


    ¡°Is that all you want, is money?¡± Josh asked, looking for a hook in this plate of filet minon.


    ¡°Excellent question. Currently only 33.23% of humans today have asked that. The answer is no. Our ultimate goal is to train human society, then hire them.¡±


    ¡°Hire them?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°Yes, there is a terrible labor shortage out there, though I doubt humanity is concerend about that. Consider this like a re-education or college program. We will help train the skills you need to survive the universe. In exchange, humans will have a preference to work with us, helping us achieve an edge in the market.¡±


    ¡°Ok. ok. I can¡¯t believe I am doing this, but I am ready to sign.¡± Josh said, ¡°I¡¯ve read a massive amount about this on the internet, and just needed to hear some things straight from you.¡±


    ¡°Logical and admiradble. In order to sign, please step throught portal. Your body will be assimilated into our data banks and brought to the training world.¡± The blob said.


    Josh sucked in a breath and got out of his chair. He walked several steps, when the floor underneath him lurched. The portal flickered several times.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Josh asked.


    The black in the blob faded out, but a voice came over the speaker, ¡°We¡¯ve lifted off.¡±


    ¡°What?! The laser isn¡¯t going to be here for two more days.¡± Josh argued with the white swaying blob near the desk.


    ¡°Correct, but our calculations were run as if all humanity lined up in order and took turns. We had capacity to save aproximatly 110% of your existing population. However, humanity appears to have rushed more towards the end, causing power to spike. We have very little element 498 to power the portals.¡±


    ¡°What about the other humans? The ones that still haven¡¯t crossed?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°Not to worry.¡± The blob replied. ¡°Other ships will remain open until they run low. Humans can enter into portals there.¡±


    ¡°How many ships are left?¡± Josh asked.


    The white blob was silent for awhile. ¡°My apologies, sorry for the delay, this appears to have been the last ship.¡±


    The portal began to flicker again. Josh threw himself through empty air. The portal was off. It then flicked back on for a few seconds, then off again.


    ¡°How much of humanity made it?¡± Josh asked himself as he looked at the portal waiting for the right moment to try jumping again.


    The portal flickered on and the white blob replied to his question. ¡°2 billion, which will give you plenty of space to explore on our training planet.¡±


    Josh didn¡¯t want the portal to go out forever, trapping him flying through space with a white blob. He jumped through the portal, and was ripped into his most basic elements. The alien computer took his body calculations, brain synapse simulation, and soul signatures. The components that were Josh were sent through countless light years, on an inter-dimensional communication, toward his new home.

 First Steps

    Josh walked out of a portal and felt a breeze on his whiskers. He thought that he must have some weird side effect of the travel. Opposite the portal was a simple floor long mirror. Dim lights showed little in the room. All Josh could make out was the portal behind him, which shut off abruptble. In front of him he could see a mirror, with only black showing back from it¡¯s surface.


    Josh walked closer to the mirror and saw an unfamilar face. It wasn¡¯t his face that stared back from the mirror, but a cat man version.


    It was that point that Josh looked at his hands and noticed they were no longer hands. He flexed the fingers and small claws popped out. He sniffed the air and could catch a number of scents just faintly. He looked up his arms and saw the various fur colors.


    Had he traveled half the universe away just to be put in a society of cat people? Why did the aliens make him into a cat person.


    Josh¡¯s reflection changed from parroting his movements to moving on it¡¯s own. It then spoke up. ¡°Welcome to the training world! The first council of The Display wanted to welcome you to The Display. I am an ambasador to the basics of game play.¡±


    ¡°Um wait, game play?¡± Josh asked his reflection.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s the best way to think of this training. We¡¯ve noticed humanity¡¯s affinity towards video game rewards and built the training to adapt to that standard. To start, please bring up your menu.¡±


    Josh looked around for a menu on the ground. He then started poking in the air randomly. ¡°Menu open, start menu, begin menu¡± Josh said aloud. Nothing happened.


    ¡°To start, please bring up your menu.¡± Josh¡¯s reflection repeated again.


    ¡°Menu up! Open! Enlarge¡± Josh said into the air. No menu appeared around him.


    ¡°To start, please bring up your menu.¡± His reflection chanted again.


    ¡°I am trying. I don¡¯t know how to bring up the menu.¡± Josh replied.


    ¡°It looks like you are having trouble with this request, is that correct?¡± His reflection asked.


    ¡°Yes. Yes that is correct.¡± Josh replied.


    ¡°Here is how to bring up the menu.¡± The reflection pulled on one ear and nodded. A menu appeared in the reflection.


    Josh pulled on his ear and nodded. The blue semi-transparent menu appeared in front of him. The menu appeard to be floating in mid-air. As he moved his head, the menu followed. Josh pulled on his ear again and nodded. The menu disppeared, then came back up. Josh repeated the action, trying to get rid of the menu.


    ¡°How do I get rid of the menu?¡± Josh asked.


    ¡°Good job! It looks like you opened the menu, in order to control the menu, including closing, please think the command.¡±


    Josh thought of closing the menu and it disapeared.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Congradulations! You have completed the beginner¡¯s tutorial!¡± The reflection replied. Party baloons and ribbons appeared in the image as Josh¡¯s image danced.


    ¡°You may now exit the entry room,¡± The reflection said, pointing to a growing light in one are of the room. It looked like a door into a strange city had just been opened.


    Josh walked to the exit. Before he passed the threshold, he heard a voice from behind, ¡°Remember to please limit your ressurections! They are expensive and will be added to your debt.¡±


    Josh¡¯s feet made it outside and he spun to ask a question that he should have asked a long time ago. He wanted to know how much he owed for his survival. Unfortunatly, the room he had just exited was no longer there. Instead, an alley way was pointed that direction.


    Josh looked around and didn¡¯t see anyone. He shrugged and decided to look at his stats on his display.


    [JOSH STATS]


    Skip step? Josh wondered. What did that mean? He didn¡¯t know a lot of anything and that was deadly. He needed to ask someone about this new world as quickly as possible.


    Josh moved his way from the dusty alley way and into what looked to be people walking on the streets.


    Josh touched an older man in robes and asked him if he could bug him.


    ¡°Just a minute, after the army passes,¡± the older man replied.


    True to his word, soldiers were walking in unison their way from down the road. It wasn¡¯t a lot of men, perhaps 5-6, but Josh didn¡¯t regonize the uniforms. He then slapped the side of his head in frustration. Of course he wasn¡¯t going to know these uniforms. This was a whole new world. Humanity probably hadn¡¯t been here for more than a few weeks. It was then that Josh began to wonder if non-humans were here.


    ¡°Shifter!¡± The army soldier in front yelled and pointed at him. Josh looked around, but the old man was shying away.


    ¡°Who is he talking about?¡± Josh hissed at the old man retreating.


    ¡°You. He¡¯s talking about you cat man.¡± The old man replied.


    Josh sighed and realized a horrible truth. He wasn¡¯t sure if he was human anymore. Was there a prejudice already forming in this new world? One against non-humans? If that was the case, was he about to incur one of those expensive ressurections?


    ¡°Welcome, welcome!¡± The soldier said as he got closer. ¡°We¡¯ve been looking for a cat shifter. We didn¡¯t think another one would come this way. Say, do you have an assigned job yet?¡±


    Josh shook his head, trying to find a way to politly exit the conversation. He needed time to figure out what all this meant.


    ¡°Excellent! We need a new scout. You want to join? Of cource you want to join. We are one of the highest paying soldier groups around.¡± The man went on.


    ¡°I am sorry, I am sure you guys are wonderful, but I am new here.¡± Josh explained.


    ¡°We know that, we saw you come into the The Display. That¡¯s why we came over to give you the job offer.¡± the solider continued.


    ¡°That¡¯s just the thing, I don¡¯t know anything about this world, or debt or even how to make coins. I am so far behind everything here.¡± Josh explained. He took several steps away from the soldier. ¡°That¡¯s why I need to talk to people.¡±


    ¡°I am a person.¡± The soldier explained calmly. ¡°Join our group, I¡¯ll get you outfitted and talk through any questions you may have. If you want to quit, you can, and we¡¯ll let you keep the gear.¡±


    A man from behind the solider piped up, ¡°Sir, we don¡¯t have that many spares.¡±


    The soldier waved him away. ¡°Private, we are all trying to survive here. What¡¯s good for one is good for all.¡±


    The solider held out a hand toward Josh, ¡°I am staff first officer Brian. You can just call me Brian.¡±


    Josh pushed his paw into Brian¡¯s hand. The two of them began to shake. Fate decided that moment to revert Josh from his cat form into his human form.


    Brian¡¯s grip faltered as the paw he was holding turned into a hand. Brian then began to look towards the sky. ¡°Can we please outfit him with pants, post haste?¡±


    Josh blushed and put his human hands towards his nudity. A pair of too big pants were handed to him. Josh threw them on, then realized they weren¡¯t going to stay up. He held the extra material and marched toward the end of town with the soldiers that had found him.

 Fire and Fog

    The morning started in a fog so thick it felt like pause was pressed on a rainstorm. Josh felt the drops hit his face as he moved. Streaks of sweat and cold drops ran down his face as he tried to keep pace. They had been yelling at him all morning about the sound he was making. Breaking twigs, shuffling the arrangement of the heavy backpack on his shoulders, even his panting seemed to make everyone angry. If they hadn''t promised answers at the end of this run, he would have already left.


    "Is this just a strength training exercise? Get my..." Josh gulped in a breath, "endurance up. I''ve popped up my display a few times. I haven''t seen anything change."


    The private solider assigned to him shook his head. "No, morning runs don''t raise stat points here."


    "So, where are we..." Josh started to ask, before the private glared at him.


    "You''re running to answers. That''s enough to know." The private responded. "Think of this also like an interview. You''ve been on a job interview, right?"


    Josh would have normally responded, but the private ran quickly away from him. Josh put all he could into his legs. By the time Josh caught up, Josh could only nod between breaths.


    "Great. Tell me an interview question. From one of your interviews." The private asked, then ran again quickly away from Josh.


    Josh huffed his way towards the private. What did his past job interviews have to do with anything? Were they somehow the answers he needed. He as starting to see flecks of white dance from the sides of his vision.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    "Ease up." The private solider said. "This isn''t dancing. No need to stumble and bumble like it''s your first prom. Catch your breath, then answer me. I''ll wait."


    Josh did what he was told. Sucking in wonderful gasps of life until the flecks of white static disappeared from the sides of his vision.


    He couldn''t think of any good questions, so he came up with one of the easiest he could muster. "What are your weaknesses?"


    "Exactly." The private said, pointing at Josh''s face. He then moved his finger towards a cave. "That''s where we are going to get some answers."


    Josh nodded and started to move towards the cave. He felt a hand on his chest. The private soldier pointed toward the ground and Josh crouched down.


    "Everyone is setting up. We''ll go in when we get the signal. We are at the rear, so wait for the last two man group. Got it?"


    Josh nodded. He wanted to ask what the signal would be, but it didn''t take long. As he stared around the cave, waiting to see a flag or a mark of some sort, a soft beep came from his backpack.


    "Didn''t take long. They must have been waiting for you. Hopefully you got a hard shell, turtle." The private said, pointing to the cave.


    Josh strained his eyes, but had a hard time seeing anything. It wasn''t until he saw a bush slightly shake near the cave entrance that he saw it. Shadows were entering the cave by twos. Josh counted about a half dozen shadows.


    The cave in front of Josh was a designated newbie zone. This newbie zone was automatically generated for new players to test their abilities. The problem with any system, no matter how elegant the design, is that play testing is always needed. The artificial intelligence that designed this area concluded that most video game newbie areas had low level chicken fights. It further concluded that chickens were a popular food. It took this logical conclusion, and built monsters around fighting food from an alien planet. What it did not figure out, is that humans weren''t used to fighting giant fire-breathing alien lizards.