《Dantian: The Unforgettable》


 Prologue: The Visible Invisible

    Entrance: The Visible Invisible


    *Wahh, wahh* A baby was crying in the distance, the little baby was looking to his mom and dad wailing trying to get their attention. He was in no way quiet yet his parents had not heard him, or rather they had not noticed him. The baby boy was starving because he had not eaten since yesterday, and it was already noon. Reaching out and wailing louder and louder, the parents finally noticed something, a noise that was crying out in the back of their heads. They looked over to see their baby on the ground crying out in pain. Suddenly the mother dropped the knife she was using to make food for her husband and ran to her baby. She could not believe it, how could she have forgotten her only baby. Her child. The husband was looking at his baby, eyes devoid of emotion, and mouth agape, he was just too shocked to comprehend what was happening. They had been doing stuff around the house for quite some time now, how had they not noticed their child?


    Crying while stroking their baby''s head the mom was griefing. How could she go out and enjoy herself at the movies and leave her baby behind? Again! Carol had already done this once, along with her husband John. They had gone out on a date to a restaurant and had completely forgotten their child. They found him crying in his cradle wailing, reaching out for someone. They had vowed to never, ever do this again, but she went back on that. She broke her promise.


    "I''m sorry Daniel, I''m sorry my little baby. Mommy is no-good, she forgot again."


    Carol was trying to console poor baby Daniel, while John quickly woke up from his stupor and ran into the kitchen to get some baby food. He knew the baby must be hungry, what did the doctor say? An average 6-month old baby eats 3-4 times a day? Thinking about this made John''s face cringe in pain at his failure as a parent.


    Carol and John were in no way bad people, in fact, they were both really good people according to common standards. They run multiple charities for cancer, and they both are acclaimed doctors. They are people that would never forget about their child, it really just wasn''t a possibility for them. Even if they were busy they always had time for family bonding. At least that is what they thought, until they met me.


    "Yes me, Daniel L. Roberts."


    ///Five ? Years Later///


    "Come on let''s play some football, Yeah!"


    Watching the other kids play Dan tried to intervene and ask them if he could join in on their game, he wanted them to notice him. This was Dan''s huge problem, his dilemma, his quest. He had a huge field, a massive playground, but never anyone to play with, they always just walked past him leaving him totally unnoticed. Not just kids either, it was everyone. Even his parents. His loving caring parents only ever noticed him if he begged them for their attention. This causes Dan great sadness every waking day of his life, but even as a young child his age he refuses to put his head down. In his eyes, sadness is the same as defeat, and the only thing he hates more than defeat is not winning. Watching his fellow classmates play he decided to move on, just like every other day.


    Mumbling to himself Dan moved to his favorite oak wood tree, it was very old and rickety, but it was also home to a lot of life and energy. Dan had always been a great observer because of his lack of attention, so he especially liked this spot. He always noticed the creaking of the tree, the birds chirping, and even the insects moving up and down the bark. All these things caused Dan to love this field and tree. But Dan would be lying to himself if he said he didn''t like this spot also because it provides a great view of Samantha. Samantha is a tall athletic girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Not only that she was smart too, and all these traits of Samantha collided together to make Dan''s ideal girlfriend. Or so Dan had assumed; as a six-year-old, he takes everything at face value.


    ''She can already do addition...''Dan wistfully thought to himself.


    Sitting with his back against the bark of the tree Dan calmly observed, he was constantly looking across the massive field. Hoping someone would look back. Dan was waiting for the moment in which he would finally shine.


    He had been doing this for the past four years of his early childhood and the closest thing to ''that moment'' he has gotten was when he punched his teacher because he was about to pee himself. Everyone had gone berserk for like two seconds before succinctly forgetting I exist. Even the teacher who was looking dead at me had forgotten what I had done.


    Dan always wondered why he was so invisible, he once even questioned if he was real...he still has that question in mind.


    Looking out to the field he sighed he isn''t that much of a bland person, was he? Dan thought to himself, he had dark brown messy hair, big round hazel eyes, and a big smile. He was also pretty tall for his age and fit at that! So why? Why?!?! Dan started to feel hot tears boiling up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped the tears away. He really hates weakness, he hates his weakness, his blatant inability to be noticed.


    Dan was strong for a six year old, wethered by the constant trials of being alone, and raised by his will to get smarter and stronger. But his weakness is justtoogreat and often broke him.


    As Dan started to doze off a loud whistle blew signaling it was time for recess to end and for everyone to stop their games. However Dan had been asleep and had missed the whistle. He had not gotten any sleep the prior night because his parents had been arguing the entire span of the night. As he was sleeping a faint tear streaked down his face.


    While everyone was rushing out of the recess field a young girl accidentally kicked her red ball in the direction of a certain oak tree and quickly rushed over to get it. The girl got to the ball and her hands fell on her knees as she was panting, her face was bright red from running so much but she still had a giant toothy smile on her face. The very same one Dan tried to imitate, the one he knew if he got right everyone would be bound to notice him. It was Dan''s favorite smile in the entire world. It was Samantha''s smile. Unknown to him Samantha was currently right in front of him, not even noticing his sleepless figure.


    Moving forward Sam went to get her red ball. Eyes totally focused solely on the ball in front of her. So much so that she did not notice the boy sleeping right in front of herself. She slowly reached out to the ball, but suddenly her body halted against her will. A chill ran down her spine, she felt she had disturbed something she shouldn''t have.


    Suddenly a hand shot out and caught her arm that was currently in mid-reach. Grasping her forearm as hard as he could Dan woke up staring straight at his attacker. Only to find it was his crush Samantha the one he has always admired from a distance. Now that she was so close his face turned beat red and he retracted his hand with his mouth opening and closing looking for the right words to tell her.


    Samantha burst into tears and ran away as fast as she could. She was scared, very scared. Not even because the boy''s grip was so strong that it had left marks on her arm. No it was his eyes. They were so focused, so zoned in as if he was a predator and she was his prey. Like he saw nothing in the entire world except her, his target. But even then there was more to it, an indescribable factor, an emptiness. Samantha a young girl had a hard time comprehending this and quickly ran away, as her basic instincts had told her to do so. This was her first time experiencing true fear.


    As Samantha ran away Dan tried to reach out to her and tell her what happened but found he could not. Looking at the ground in shame Daniel sighed once more. It was not Dan''s fault he was so attentive to everything around him, but he felt he should say sorry for hurting her as that is what a good kid always does. Or so PBS led him to believe.


    In the end, he couldn''t even do that.


    ''It sure is hard to keep my head up when things like this happen to me.'' Dan thought as he looked at the field for one last time before he left to go to class. Not that the teacher would even notice he was gone. He has attended every single day of school but he has never been marked for attendance in his life. Which literally did not matter since even his written name seemed to elude people''s vision.


    He always does his best in class anyway because he wants to be a good person even if he doesn''t get any recognition because of it. Daniel tries to be a good kid because he knows that even though he is so lonely and forgotten it does not mean he should forget himself. Thinking these thoughts Daniel proceeded through his first grade school day like any other until it was finally time to go home.


    Dan is a brave intelligent young boy.


    Today his Mom had decided she would drive him home. This may seem like a normal thing for a mother to do, but it was actually a very bold move on her part. Carol really wanted her son to know she still remembered him, but even after all these years she still finds it hard to remember to pack him a lunch. This causes Carol no small amount of trouble when she sees her son. She knows that even though he is always smiling he must be crying on the inside. She so desperately wants to comfort him but never succeeds.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Even though these acts of parenthood were meant to be nice Dan really hated them. Not because they were mean, but because they often didn''t work leaving him deserted. Not only does he feel stranded and lonely after mom doesn''t show up to pick him up but he also has to walk home! It is not a short walk for a six-year-old either it is at least a mile and a half! Dan waited for another half hour before he knew for sure his mom wasn''t coming. Dan still liked to hope even though he inevitably knew what was going to happen. Dan slumped his shoulders and started his journey home.


    The worst part is, is that she''ll probably forget her plan to pick Daniel up again and try again tomorrow. Like an endless loop of suffering where the only one suffering is Dan.


    It took Daniel an hour before he got home, and the journey was very straining on his legs leaving him very exhausted. Luckily the road home only had one intersection and was scarcely populated. Dan was a very mature child for his age and did his best to get home without any problems, but he had gotten lost along the way and it took him much longer than usual to get home.


    When he entered the house the first thing he heard was the T.V. blaring throughout the house and two people laughing at some crappy T.V. show. As Dan rounded the corner of the entrance his face started to crumple up and snot started to dribble down his nose. Just barely not crying Daniel crept over to his room as silent as he possibly could go. Finally making it to his room door he slowly opened it and entered. Dan felt a deep regret lingering as he closed the door, he regretted not wanting to make a scene when he got home, he regretted not begging for his parent''s attention. But even with this regret lingering, he knew that even if he begged for their attention now, they would still forget about their grievances later. As such was the life of Daniel the six-year-old.


    Daniel plopped down on his bed burying his head in his pillow and cried for as long as his little body could possibly handle. Finally, when his face was red from tears he looked up at his nightstand where his favorite superhero action figure rested and said "At least you won''t forget me ''Super-SS Average Joe''. Right?." Feeling slightly uncertain if he would Daniel put his qualms to rest and fell asleep.


    Just like every other night...


    Waking up the next morning to his alarm clock Daniel slowly groaned while getting up to change into his other clothes. He had never actually taken off the ones from yesterday because he had been too depressed.


    Daniel has a method for getting clothes every single day, and it is extremely self-reliant. Every weekend he has his mom wash all his clothes at one time, and after that he dries them because his mom always forgets. Then he puts them all in a bucket like mommy does and he throws them in a corner where he later searches for all the stuff he needs. If the mess is too big and he can''t find the clothes he needs he just goes to school in his old clothes, but that is a very rare occasion. As a good person is always clean, or at least that''s how it is in Daniel''s eyes.


    Daniel does not use the washing machine by himself because he is too afraid of it. When Dan was three his cat Snuffles jumped in and died in it because his mom had realized too late. This left him severely traumatized towards all washing machines. He can just barely handle the drier as is. RIP Snuffles.


    Daniel after getting dressed went downstairs and saw that no one was there as usual. This is because his parents are very busy people and work most of the day starting from 6am to 5pm. Both being doctors is truly straining on them. They needed cleaning ladies in order to get all the house chores done. Dan looked in the cabinet and found no bread to make toast with, so he started on a yogurt in the fridge. Then he laid down for twenty minutes before it was time to go to his bus stop.


    Dan waited alone at his stop today because it was raining out and all the kids were with their parents. Looking down the road gloomily Daniel wished he had brought his umbrella. It down poured for ten minutes before the bus finally showed up. Coming to creaky stop Dan entered and he went to school.


    It was mid-morning and school was picking up pace. Today they were learning the difference from ''there, their, and they''re'' and Daniel was paying his full attention because this had been confusing him forever. However mid-sentence the school phone had started beeping and the teacher started talking."No Daniel Roberts isn''t here today...yes...I''ll check anyway...Listen up class! Daniel Roberts is Daniel here today."


    ''How stressful'' Daniel thought while raising his hand. "Oh, so you are here Daniel. Daniel go down to the office Mr. Davidson wants to see you." said Mr. Coo looking slightly surprised that Daniel was in fact in school.


    Looking down Daniel got up and he started hearing whispers from around the class. "Have you seen that kid?...Was he in our class?...I swear on my heart I''ve never seen him before, have you?" Hearing this Daniel grimaced and continued to the door looking down in shame. How had these people not noticed him? He had been in their class for more than half a school year already. Looking back at his classmates he wasn''t mad just very, very sad. In his heart he knew it wasn''t their fault. This is how it has always been, the world must simply not have enough attention for Daniel.


    Making his way to the principal''s office Daniel saw that no one was currently in the office so he went in and took a seat. Daniel is a very independent person so he did not even hesitate when going inside as a normal child would. Also, he saw Samantha coming down the hallway and he was too embarrassed to talk as is so he had rushed in. He had been brooding so much that he had forgotten what he had done to Samantha. Sitting in a chair in the office now Daniel was praying to the God''s that Samantha would not enter with her parents. Looking to the door anxiously he had forgotten the principal, fortunately, Mr. Davidson the principal had not even noticed Daniel.


    Looking at the door for a long time now Daniel''s eyes were strained to the maximum limit until finally he saw the door creak open. Time turned slow then for Daniel, he saw the foot enter first then soon following after he saw a face...his father''s face. Daniel let out a sigh of relief and his tiny muscles relaxed after being tense for so long. But then suddenly another trio of feet entered the room...''SHIT!!!''


    "Mister Davidson, we would like to talk about the fact that our daughter came home yesterday with bruises on her arm!" Samantha''s parents exclaimed loudly. Daniel''s face twisted ''Oh no, was it really that bad.'' Daniel had already felt really guilty just from scaring Samantha but now he learned he actually hurt her and it only added to his pain. Now he didn''t even have a single chance of getting with her. Not that he necessarily knew what that meant. "Mrs. Anderson, I understand where you are coming from. But could you tell me what happened to cause those bruises, we can''t take action without reason," said Mr. Davidson with his usual placid face. Mrs. Anderson, Samantha''s mother the spitting image of her daughter answered "This man''s boy grabbed my daughter''s arm ruthlessly and hurt her! Isn''t that a reason? Take action Mr. Davidson!" Screamed Mrs. Anderson while pointing at Daniel''s Dad. Daniel''s Dad was taken aback, his son as far as he knew was always a good child. At least as far as he knew. He sadly realized he didn''t know much. Why? Why does he always forget? Why would he injure this little girl? Was Daniel angry because He was such a bad father? At the thought of this John cringed, he certainly wouldn''t put it passed Daniel. Not because Daniel is a bad child, but because he is such a bad parent.


    "John where is Daniel? Certainly, he should be here for his own questioning." said Mr. Anderson who was a long time friend of Daniel''s father, personally he had thought all of this situation was an accident because in his eye John could never raise a bad child. He was simply too good of a person. One would be astonished at all the charity work this man could do. To that John answered "He''s right here Tim, didn''t you see him when you came in." John bluntly said but in reality the only reason he noticed Dan was because he had tugged on his sleeve. Daniel really was unnoticeable. Everyone in the room was in shock that they had missed Daniel when they came in. They all vaguely remembered his blurry figure in the corner, but they had assumed it was just some blurry blob in the corner of their eyes. How could they have missed him in such a small room?


    Samantha looked over to Daniel, eyes wide and shoulders quivering. When she finally saw them she tuned out all other noises and sat still. It was those eyes again. They weren''t so focused this time but she still remembered them. That emptiness, suddenly she felt afraid. She didn''t know why but she was very afraid. It was that same feeling she felt yesterday the one that made her run away. She suddenly started shivering but then broke eye contact with Daniel and looked down breaking into a cold sweat. ''Why did we have to come here today! I should have never told mommy about my boo-boo.'' Still looking down at the ground she started to cry. Tim, Sam''s dad, had noticed and looked down at Sam and asked what was wrong but he got no answer. Sam simply bit her lip and tried to hold back the welling tears. Tim looked at his daughter aghast and tapped his wife''s shoulder because he did not know how to handle this situation.


    Sam''s mom, Angela looked down at her daughter and screamed louder than ever. "What happened to my daughter?!" Sam''s face had turned completely ashen and wrought with tears one could only guess what she had experienced. Suddenly she looked over to Daniel "You! What have you done to my daughter! I have known you were no good since I laid my eyes on you! Did you hurt her again just like yesterday? You probably could''ve considering you''re so sneaky and forgettable. You''re a beast!" Thereafter she became incomprehensible she truly overreacted to the extreme, but what could you expect from a protective mother. Finally Mr. Davidson stepped in "Mrs. Anderson you are talking to a child get a bearing on yourself!" Mr. Davidson had lost his usual demeanor of calm and quiet and lashed out. Suddenly everyone in the room started going crazy except two people.


    Almost as if they were on a separate plane of existence. On a level of comprehension that seemed only to be linked between their two minds. Both Daniel and Samantha stared at one another as if holding a conversation with each minute movement.


    "I''m sorry Samantha...I-I''m sorry everyone...I didn''t mean to be a bad person. I...I really want to be good. But it''s so hard." Said Daniel while choking all but for naught, they had not even noticed him. All except for one girl, one person had listened to his apology. Sam had heard his apology and was brought out of her stupor.


    "I...I don''t know your name, I don''t know who you are, but my head tells me you are wrong, too wrong. You shouldn''t exist. Please....please just disappear. You are scary."


    "Okay I''ll leave, I won''t come back but could you do me a favor. Please try to remember me, that would be nice."


    "Mm" Samantha nodded her head and Daniel left the room.


    Hopefully this time Daniel really would beunforgotten.

 Chapter 1: Freedom

    Daniel''s existence has always been an odd one that much is blatantly obvious. He is odd and everyone treats him oddly. He is like a dream that no one can seem to remember properly. Like some wisp of a person that isn''t quite here. Daniel has no purpose in life because it seems that living in the real world is impossible for a person like himself. So it seems.


    "Hello, Jan...hi, Tom...nice day we''re having miss." Daniel didn''t have a clue who he was talking to as he made his way down the street. He simply said hello and goodbye to pass the time as if pretending he had a relationship with the countless people he passed each day. Sometimes if he spoke loud enough a person would turn towards him. Only if he was lucky though.


    Daniel ever since he was six stopped attending school and decided to live on his own in the wild city of Coelfern. Living for a person such as himself has never been easy, but neither has it been hard. Acquiring food or a place to sleep has never been a problem for Dan even when he was little. Ever since he abandoned his particularly chivalrous ways Dan simply takes what he wants when he wants. Looking back on himself now Daniel almost scoffed at his past self.


    With no reservations, Dan swung open the doors to the local GameStoop and walked in like some sort of mafia boss.


    "Put the money in the bag!" He said while pointing his finger gun at the cashier imitating a movie he saw on tv just last night. The only reaction he got was a small twitch in the clerks face. Putting his finger gun down Dan made his way in and went over to the latest console. He got the stool the clerks usually use to grab things from the top shelf with and used it to grab the zBox s.


    Not bothering to get in the checkout line like everyone else. He made sure to grab all the gift cards he could before shoving every new game he could find in a large plastic bag and leaving.


    Boredom is commonplace in Dan''s life but today is just one of those days that even getting new stuff doesn''t make it better. By all means, today is a great sunny day, with the perfect breeze, a nice warm temperature, and yet he has no one to spend it with. Everyone in this bustling city seems to have something or dare say someone to do.


    After some walking, Dan made his way into the supermarket grabbing a large cart on the way. Saying hi to the elderly lady welcoming everyone at the entrance. With trained movements, Dan made his way to the bread aisle and started tossing in all the bread he could. Then he went to the non-perishable aisle full of canned goods and tossed in a lot of those too. And lastly, he went back to the front and grabbed three packages of with and some pocklemon cards.


    Dan threw his GameStoop bag on top of his food cart he made his way back to the sidewalk and continued on his journey. Walking long distances has always been apart of his life so as a fifteen-year-old now Dan could be said to be an athlete of a sort. And there is some truth that when in solitude confinement one finds ways to release pent up energy. Dan often goes to the gym for these very reasons.


    "Makin'' my way downtown walkin'' fast..." Daniel sang as he pushed his cart down a, particularly steep hill. Being shy is kinda hard when no one bothers to listen to you in the first place. Dan is forced every day to take the long way to where ever he wants to go because believe it or not cars never seem to stop for him. Right on red roads have to be the scariest for him, but even normal stop sign only roads are enough to do him in. People seem to believe that just because they live in a big ass city the road laws don''t apply to them.


    When Dan had finished walking through the normal discrete alleyways and shortcuts he took he walked up to a great big brick building. Four spires marked the corners of this building with a great pyramid of glass in the middle. From the middle of that pyramid extended a great flag pole with a flag containing the places insignia on it. Some sort of baby angel thing with a lute. At the front of the building, stairs seemed to extend outwards to meet the tips of Daniel''s feet. Welcoming him to a home he never had. This place just so happens to be one of Coelfern''s local orphanages and boarding schools. Little Pond Academy.


    Daniel does not actually attend or live in the orphanage like one might think, he just wishes to help the people inside. Although the school is great in size it is greater in cost, and unfortunately for the people running the joint, the rate of orphans being born has decreased significantly. That would be due to the not so recent war with the Eastern Front being won twenty years ago. No more parents are being drafted and no more kids are being left without parents. It''s a dismal thought but there is barely even a reason to supply a place like Little Pond Academy. Coelfern''s economy is booming; there are a lot more parents willing to take on an orphaned child, so even if a kid is sent to an orphanage it is not uncommon for them to be swept up immediately.


    Imagine how that feels for the kids left behind.


    Leisurely going pushing the cart up the now wheel-chair accessible stairs Dan started enjoying himself. If he couldn''t enjoy life then he supposed he might as well help the others struggling too. Humming to himself Dan pushed the great doors open with a little effort and walked into the halls. The center of the entrance room is very ornate and beautiful weathered down by dust bunnies and cobwebs that have been failed to be cleaned up. The whole place reminisced of a "better time".


    Not being one to dilly dally Dan proceeded to enter the boy''s bathroom and left all the stuff in the usual spot. The new keeper had her own bathroom so she never bothered to clean or use the ones in the main room. Truthfully speaking the new keeper never seemed to have anything to do with the main section of the orphanage. She mainly stayed in the boarding school wing in her office pretending to work. Dan couldn''t even recall a time where he even saw Mrs. Gants face. He only knew her name from the other kid''s conversations.


    Truthfully speaking Dan would rather place the food and accessories elsewhere but as life would have it hauling a big ass cart up a flight of stairs is a no go.


    "They''re used to finding the stuff here so it''s best not to change the location," Dan affirmed himself before promptly leaving. Or rather he would have left if he wasn''t encumbered by the sudden urge to piss his brains out. Wasting no time he flashed over to the stall and unzipped his pants just in time. Being conditioned to piss in a bathroom whenever he enters one is not so weird. He hoped.


    "Hello is someone in there? You should be in class right now yah know. Mrs. G will catch yah she always does." A foreign voice rang through the bathroom and Dan''s heart started pounding. It''s not often he gets a chance to communicate with someone else.


    "H-hi~." Dan''s voice came out weaker than he expected. He didn''t really care though he just held his breath waiting for a response.


    "that''s weird I could have sworn someone was in there." The voice said faintly heard by Dan through the bathroom walls. ''No! I''m here.''


    "Hi~. C''mon Dan. Hello! There is somebody in the bathroom!" One could not describe how intensely Dan''s heart started pounding. Breathing soon became hard to do and manual and sweat poured down from his forehead like a fountain.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Oh,  so there is someone in there. That''s odd I don''t remember ever hearing your voice around here before." The sound of her steps grew louder each time she came closer to the door. Dan''s heart could be said to be reaching maximum capacity.


    "Yeah..."


    "What was that?"


    "Yeah, you probably wouldn''t-"


    "Your voice is so hard to concentrate on can you speak up."


    "Yeah, you wouldn''t!"


    "You know what I can''t hear you from out here so I''m just going to come on in." She said as if determined to find something. Thoughts raced through Dan''s head like ''She can''t come in here this is the boy''s bathroom'' and ''Holy shit it''s a fucking girl'',  so many thoughts and so little time. Before he knew it the door started creaking open and a girl entered the boy''s bathroom.


    Instantly instead of noticing Dan, she noticed the food and GameStoop merchandise and dashed over to the cart. Almost completely forgetting the reason she came in the bathroom in the first place. Dan did not forget and unabashedly stared at her with wide eyes. The invasive girl had hair such a deep black it seemed dyed, eyes so gold they seemed like contacts, skin so perfect it seemed plastic, and face so angelic it seemed ungodly. The most perfect girl Dan had ever seen was now drooling while eating an entire pack of raw cookie dough.


    Dan just stared at her. What else was he supposed to do? Talk to her? The thought barely even crossed his mind. Social anxiety stuck to him like dog hair and loads of glue. Dan was simply content staring at her from his hiding spot in the stall. Maybe.


    The girl totally engorged herself to the maximum until her face sported an extremely satisfied smile. One Dan wished he''d never forget. Somehow though the behemoth of a lass did not seem to be done with her feast and reached for another package of plain bread. ''Who eats this much plain bread!'' Half of the bread was gone and Dan was more concerned about where the food went now. How can a stomach that small fit that many loaves of bread? Before he could trouble himself some more he heard something more concerning.


    "Dearest Clarice wherever could you be! Fret not I will find you oh ho ho *Cough cough cough* Fuck that voice is hard to do. Clarice, come out and accept your punishment you know the rules and implications of skipping class time." A high pitched nasally voice totally unlike the girl''s- no, Clarice''s voice rang very faintly through the boy''s bathroom. Clarice apparently had not even noticed as she was completely engrossed in stuffing her face.


    Dan''s mind raced at the thought of the girl getting caught because of himself. On one hand, if she did it would affect him in no way what so ever. On the other hand, if she was caught he would never have the chance to talk to the girl again. Talking to people has never been


    Dan''s forte but he supposed it was about time he got some practice.


    "Hey." Dan''s voice came out softly.


    "Hey." This time his voice came out louder.


    "Hey!" He was almost shouting at this point. Feeling irritated at this point Dan briskly walked out of his little hiding spot right over to Clarice. He extended his hand outwards to her to touch her should but caught himself halfway. ''What am I doing?'' he couldn''t help but think. Touching and physical contact with other people has always been taboo for Dan. His hand floated in the air as he was indecisive as to what he should do.


    "...What''s even the point." Dan shut his eyes as hard as he could do block the tears from coming. However, his emotions seemed to have other plans so instead, he raised his other hand to cover his face. The weight of Dan''s feelings pressed down on him like a new form of gravity and his hand started to lower.


    "Why are you crying?" Clarice''s clear soft voice asked Dan sympathetically. Slowly taking his hand away from his eye''s Dan looked down at his other one. His eye''s widened and instinctively he tried to rip his hands away from the girl''s grip.


    "No!" She yelped as she gripped tighter onto Dan''s hand.


    "No?" Dan said confusedly; thoughts ran wild throughout his head and all he knew was that he didn''t want to be here right now. ''Maybe this time...''


    "No." She sighed, "It''s so hard to focus on you for some reason. Like I subconsciously knew you were in here it''s just...I don''t know." Clarice seemed distant as she took a second to think things over.


    "You are easier to focus on when I touch you." She stated as a matter of fact.


    "Why?" Dan said quietly.


    "What?" She asked.


    "Why even bother noticing me?" Dan felt a whole new wave of tears well up in his eyes but he fought them back. Dan was not about to look bad in front of the first girl he''s held a conversation in years with.


    "That, that is a stupid question. Of course, it is because...well I...I don''t exactly know, but I figure you''re something odd." She sputtered out while reaching to grab another piece of bread.


    "I am not odd." Dan retorted feeling oddly defensive.


    "You sure about that? I''m at least ninety percent sure that you were hiding in that stall watching me eat for a good amount of time." She accused Dan playfully while taking a bite out of the bread slice she picked up.


    "I...I didn''t know how to," Words came out of Dan''s mouth sporadically and quickly.


    "To what? Talk to me?" She asked, Dan only lowered his head and blushed in response.


    "You could have just yah know, said something."


    "I did." Tears started flowing freely from Dan''s eyes, so he started wiping them away. Another hand reached out and grabbed his other hand and pulled it down to his other one.


    "No need to be ashamed of crying. I am a great listener you know? So it comes as a great shock to hear I missed something someone else said. Sorry about that." Her face displayed a certain type of sympathy that almost bordered empathy. Something about her voice and body language is cathartic to Dan.


    "It''s not your fault it''s mine-"


    "You really are odd if you think you''re in the wro-"


    "No!" He shouted for real this time. Clarice almost pulled her hands away this time, but now it was Dan''s time to hold strong.


    "People can''t focus on me." Dan sputtered out.


    "Can''t focus on you?" Clarice''s brows creased and her face contorted into something along the lines of ''you''re crazy''.


    "That''s right! No one can hear me, no one can see me, and no one can fucking bother to remember me!" His words vented his deep-seated repressed desperation for, well, someone to talk to.


    "That''s insane!" Clarice elevated her tone to match Dan''s.


    "You don''t believe me?!" Dan''s hand clenched Clarice''s tightly.


    "No now let go!" She tried to rip her hand away. She succeeded in getting one but Dan did not release the other one and he was pulled forward. Dan fell to the ground pulling Clarice with him with her landing on top of him.


    "No! I can''t let go!" He clung onto his last lifeline.


    "You''re scaring me, mister. I only talked to you because I thought you were the one who brought all this food. I guess I was wrong." She said belligerently, "Now let go of me." Once again she tried ripping her hand away but Dan gripped even tighter this time. A manic glint appeared in both their eyes as they both sensed some sort of danger to their livelihood.


    "I just-, I just want to talk okay!" His voice wavered as he realized what he was doing, but Dan really did not want to let go.


    "Well, I don''t! Now let go!" She screamed while kneeing Dan full force in the groin from the position she had on top of him. Dan cried out in pain and tried to push Clarice of his body. When he did Clarice pulled her hand away once more.


    "Stop!" Full force this time he clamped down on her arm. A resounding crack echoed through the boy''s bathroom as he did. Instantly Dan retracted his hand away from Clarice''s. ''Oh my God.'' Clarice started screaming on the ground flailing her body around in pure agony. Tears streamed down her florid cheeks and all Dan could do was hideaway in the corner of his stall. Dread encompassed Dan''s heart, and this time he could only rock back and forth drowning in regret and guilt.


    He stared downwards for a period of time nowhere in particular; just wide-eyed in shock. But at one point he looked up at Clarice who was sobbing loudly on the ground in the fetal position. She cradled her hurt arm on her body trying to keep still. ''You''re a beast...''  Samantha''s mother''s words now plagued His thoughts.


    In a bout of pain, Clarice groaned loudly and shifted over to look directly in Dan''s direction. She opened her clenched shut eyes and then they widened into saucers. Her mouth opened like she wanted to scream but nothing came. Her mouth opened and closed as she attempted to gasp for air but nothing came. Clearly terrified she shifted backward and pushed herself as far as possible up against the wall perpendicular to Dan. Even when she was pressed against the wall she pushed farther. As if she was too afraid to think properly.


    Dan stared blankly dazed and in shock. ''I had just wanted to talk. I should have known I''m a fucking-'' His thoughts coincided with the real world as he saw Clarice mouthing his very thoughts. Her voice did not follow through but the word still resonated deeply in Dan''s mind.


    "Monster."

 Chapter 2: Repression

    "Monster." Dan mouthed subconsciously imitating Clarice''s own.


    "..." Dan silently stared a little longer at the writhing figure in front of him. Somehow this keeps happening to him. Somehow Dan thinks he might never get to care or be cared for by a person. Somehow it feels all too true.


    Standing up unceremoniously Dan moved away from his corner, "I''ll go get some help," he said in half a daze. ''That lady calling for Clarice earlier she''ll probably know what to do.'' As he made his way out of the bathroom Clarice crawled out of the way as fast as possible. Her urgency seemed to be life and death. Dan didn''t doubt that she saw it that way for a second. Dan''s gait almost seemed lackadaisical as he exited the bathroom and into the main entrance room.


    ''How the fuck did this happen?'' Everything around Dan swirled and he could feel a distinct feeling of wanting to vomit.


    "Help...I need to get help." He muttered to himself, "Help," But his voice came out quieter than he had meant. "Help." Once again too quiet, "Help." The words wouldn''t seem to come out correctly. ''What am I doing? What am I fucking doing!'' He slapped himself across his face as hard as he could manage. Leaving a great red hand mark on his cheek and a trail of blood down the corner of his mouth.


    "Fuck! Help! I need help!" Dan''s voice resounded throughout the room. However, no response came to his pleas. ''I should have guessed.'' Without direction or a clue as to what he should do Dan started running. He ran through the hallways of the great building screaming for help. But the lady he had heard earlier was nowhere to be found. Desperate cries for help rang loudly throughout the building but no responses came.


    Tears blotched out Dan''s eyes as he ran down the long corridors of the second floor of the complex. Rooms upon rooms lined the walls proving the desperate situation Coelfern had probably once been in. For what other reason would an orphanage need be so well equipped other than for wartime efforts.


    Every hallway passed in a blur and Dan took so many rights and lefts he started getting dizzy. Dan didn''t stop yelling for a second he continued and did not take a second to catch his breath. His urgency seemed rabid in nature. Dan can''t stop because his thoughts weigh so critically on his mind if he were to think about what he had just done...well...he does not know what he would do.


    "Help!" His voice felt scratchy and his spit tastes of coppery blood yet he can''t stop. Eventually, he ran to the back of the complex and met the final corridor. ''Shit...'' Dan looked around looking for something or someone but all he found were stairs back down to the first floor. Wasting no time he bolted down the stairs and started making his way back to the main entrance. Screaming for help the entire way of course. Dan knew that the screaming was doomed from the start, but he hoped that if he could at least stop someone for a second or two he could literally grab their attention.


    Dan felt as if he ran forever before he finally made it back to the main hallway that connected to the corridor. Feeling a new sense of urgency he burst through the open doors and sprinted down the hallway. Yet halfway down he slowed to a halt. A figure, no a man had just exited the bathroom carrying Clarice. Her sobbing figure cradled in the massive man''s arms. His suit accentuated his professionalism and he sported a strong jawline sporting a short trim beard. His head full of hair only disrupted by a long-running scar left barren of any hair follicles dragging down the back of his head.


    Then another person exited the bathroom clearly distraught over what had happened. The man and the woman were arguing very loudly over Clarice, and their voices echoed freely in the hallways.


    "Tom, you know I cannot have another case like this! What am I going to tell the child Protective Services? Huh? We both know they won''t take ''she has a condition'' for an answer again!" The nasal voice rang like a fork dragging down on a plate in Dan''s ears. This was the woman he had been looking for all this time. And she appeared to be trying to cover up the whole situation!


    "Relax Kristy I got the whole situation under control. I''ll just take her with me as planned in the first place and take care of her at the station. Easy peasy." Tom responded cooly as if there were not a wailing girl in his arms.


    "Easy peasy? There is no ER where you are taking her we both know that Tom." She said her voice wavering a little.


    "Don''t worry about it." Tom''s said smoothly.


    "But-"


    "I said don''t worry about it. Take your money and stay out of our way." His voice deepened to a chilling tone. Kristy clearly retracted a little and looked back and forth from Tom to Clarice and then sighed ever so slightly.


    "If that is how it must be. Just don''t treat her as poorly as the others Tom. That''s all I ask of you. I put a lot of effort into raising her." She said almost too sincerely. Dan at this point was seething.


    "Of course, you can trust me Mrs. Gants," Tom replied sarcastically.


    "It seems I don''t have a choice in the matter." She grimaced. Throughout this whole conversation, all Dan saw was the dangling figure of Clarice still whimpering in the man''s arms.


    "No, you don''t."


    "..."


    "Well then, I best be on my way I have already spent too long looking for this girl. She really is quite elusive." He said while reaching one hand out to shake Kristy Gants''. Instead of meeting his hand with her own she returned it with a stiff glare. Despite not completely understanding what was going on Dan had a general idea. That the man was going to take her to some other place that probably wasn''t that great. And this lady who is supposed to be caring for her is now selling her away.


    Dan is afraid of people, he is afraid of everything about them because he has learned so much about them it is disgusting. But on the contrary to what one might expect Dan craves this sort of fear. He craves the excitement found in the drama, troubles, and overall bullshit brought into life by coexisting with others. And to him, this girl he had just meant moments ago is currently his only back into that state of being.


    "Not again...I can''t stand it anymore. I''m going fucking insane." His voice came out as a low growl. It''s not like there would be anyone to respond to his words in the first place. As Tom slowly left the orphanage in a smooth gait Dan released all his pent up emotions. His legs thrust himself forward faster than they had ever before. His eyes become almost clouded as his tunnel vision let him only see his goal.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    "Clarice!" He yelled.


    Tom was already out the door by the time he made it into the lobby. Without a second of hesitation, he jumped into the air and with one leg kicked through the closed door. The enormity of the door never even crossed Dan''s mind as he did so, but to onlookers, it would seem like quite the feat.


    Without missing a beat Dan burst through the open doors onto the street causing an enormous racket. He missed his landing and rolled into a kneeling position immediately scanning his surroundings.


    "Shit." Dan cursed, Tom had already made his way into his expensive-looking sedan. The sound of the car door closing was Dan''s queue into action. Sprinting full force until he finally reached the back of the sedan. But right as he was about to meet the car it started forward. With no time to waste nor to think Dan burst onto the vehicle and tightly latched onto the trunk side of the car.


    The sedan pulled out onto the street and Dan pulled his body close against the cold metal trunk hood. Dan propped both his feet onto the trunk step up and used his fingers to tightly latch onto the back. The drag from the sheer speed of the car almost blew him off the car but luckily he had the presence of mind to lower his head.


    ''Holy shit what am I doing? I don''t even know this girl! She literally called me a monster! I''m on the back of a moving car! This is so fucking cool!'' Compulsive thoughts raced through his mind as the obviously speeding vehicle zoomed down a main road. Tom weaved in between other vehicles like a scumbag, and nearly knocked Dan off each time he did so.


    Even with his body on clear display in front of other drivers clinging for dear life they still couldn''t seem to zone in on him. The joy ride seemed fun at first but when an asshole driver goes sixty on a heavily populated road everyone gets a little distressed. In no time at all Dan''s fingers started to ache like no tomorrow but he hung on. ''P-pain is of little consequence.'' Dan thought. The wind skimming the top of his head flowed down his back creating a cold vortex for more wind to follow.


    "I-I''m such an i-idiot." Dan said to himself. Truth be told he really is not such a compulsive person, but when such a person''s life is weighed so inconsequentially...well, Dan believes there is hell to be paid. Not to mention it has been a rather lonely fifteen years.


    With each mile, Dan could feel the skin on his finger compress further and he could only hope his fingers didn''t shatter under the pressure. His knees, his back, his everything started to collapse under the extreme circumstances. ''Just a little longer.'' Dan assured himself. However, reality did not give a shit how sure Dan was and the car continued to speed along.


    Soon the original adrenaline rush that he had once felt left his body and Dan desperately wanted to just give way. But each time his fingers felt like they were slipping his eyes couldn''t help but take a long glance at the road. ''If I fell that''d probably kill me.'' Now they were off the main road and on some sort of exclusive highway system. Dan had not even completely realized it but Tom had entered a road hidden to the public eye.


    In Coelfern there are numerous ways to get around the city to support the countless residents living inside the city. Contrary to what one might expect though; the ways in and out of the city are extremely limited. To the point where there is only a single lane highway leading outwards. One does not enter Coelfern, you are either born there or you are assigned to a station by the WMC (Western Military Coalition). After all, Coelfern is a stronghold containing a very precious and particularly sparse resource. Humans.


    The sedan rode at a crisp ninety miles per hour in a straight line until it met a towering fence in front of which it slowed to a stop. A quiet thump could just barely be heard from inside the vehicle as Dan''s figure fell from its trunk. Dan opened and closed his poor fingers while tears streamed down his face. His arms and legs are completely numb. The pins and needles that accompanied the blood returning to his limbs caused Dan to dance around on the ground like an unearthed worm.


    Too occupied with himself Dan paid no regards to Tom who had just waved a card to the operator in the booth. The sound of the rising fence somehow eluded Dan too. Pain rings louder than most things do. Dan was not so dense as to miss the car''s engine turning on and smell of exhaust leaking from it.


    "Wait, shit," Dan muttered as he propped himself on both arms. Lugging one leg up to his chin bringing himself to a kneeling position felt like a monumental achievement. Life did not agree with Dan. Tom put the car into drive and there wasn''t even a chance for Dan to latch onto the car again. Not that he would even be able to if he had tried. Reaching out weakly to the cars shrinking silhouette with one hand Dan could only mutter one thing,


    "Clarice." Dan''s body lurched forward and he passed out on the cold pavement.


    ---


    *Vrooooooooom*


    "Holy fuc-"


    A huge truck drove over Dan''s now wide awake body and soon another followed, and then another, and another, and another, too many trucks passed over Dan. His heart pounded as he hugged the ground as tightly as he possibly could hoping that one of these trucks didn''t have a trailer extension. Thankfully one never came, ''Phew'', Dan wiped the sweat from his forehead and popped up. Dizziness pervaded him but he managed to keep his balance and start running after the trucks. The fence started closing as he did so but Dan managed to dive in skimming his arms in the process.


    And so Dan began walking by his lonesome once again. Of course right after he went over to the side of the road and took a piss. A morning routine is important to Dan. Heading back to Coelfern is out of the question at this point for Dan. The expansive grasslands surrounding all of the great city made sure of that. The walk back alone not accounting for dehydration or hunger could probably kill him. Accounting for, he would not make it halfway there before dropping.


    Walking aimlessly is a great descriptor for Dan''s life. It''s like all he has ever done has been because of things he has observed and all the goals are actually not his as a product of that way of living. But to him, this is the only way to survive; observe, learn, adapt, rinse and repeat. The only real thing Dan has ever known is that he very dearly does not want anyone to exist like him. To be bored, to be ignored, to be unloved, and to ultimately be alone. That is why he has helped that orphanage and many others for the past nine years. It''s partly why he wishes to reconcile with Clarice and save her.


    There is no such thing as a person who only wishes to help people. That is beyond ridiculous of a notion. A person so hollow, so purposeless could not come close to qualifying as a real person. No, it would be much more accurate to describe them as something of a hollow shell of a person that once was. For this very reason, Dan cannot identify as a person. Just an aimless, no good, whisp.


    Dan''s sore legs adamantly refused to walk but he had more pressing matters at hand so he trudged on. Only taking short breaks in between. The road became something of a path for Dan to mindlessly follow. For untold hours he walked in a trance until he eventually sat down on the grass an laid on his back. His eyes seemed to close for only a second before another second wave of trucks woke him. This time he got to view them from a distance.


    These vehicles were the kind he saw on some TV program one time. They reminded him of the carrier trucks meant for carrying soldiers except on a much larger scale. Each on raised a good three feet off the ground by huge tractor-like wheels. Decked out in grassland camo and a sheet roofed back meant for giving people shelter. Dan''s suspicions were confirmed as the last truck passed by and he got to see a couple of faces.


    "Kids...that truck was carrying kids." He said in disbelief. A thought popped into Dan''s mind, ''They''re being shipped here like Clarice, but why?'' There was one way to find out. And by God''s left nut Dan had nothing better to do at all.


    With a steeled look on his face, he stood up once more shaking the soreness from his body and started his march once again. This time with a renewed purpose clearly defined. Find out who is fucking with these kids, help those kids, save Clarice, apologize to her, and try to make some friends along the way.


    "I wonder what her favorite color is."


    "Probably blue..."


    "..."


    "Nope, I take it back..."


    "Imma look so cool when I save her."


    At the end of the day, Dan wants a friend who will help him become the person he so desperately wants to be.