《The dead eon》


 a shadowy idiot

    We are surrounded...


    My closest friend ran away. We were unlucky enough to find an unexplored area filled with enemies. Since he was fast enough though, he was able to escape. I had heard that he was someone who abandoned his group a few times. In order to flee from traps that were placed throughout the portals he entered.


    I thought this was what had made him strong. I thought that because he was a survivor he was someone that could continue on even though his friends had died. This is actually how he portrayed himself, and he got me caught up in his tales.


    Every time he talked about the groups he witnessed being destroyed. He always had tears in his eyes. He told tragic stories about how he fought with the group and one by one they fell. Until only he was left. Then he would tell about his escape. Being proud about being able to ''carry on'' their legacy.


    At first, I didn''t trust him. I mean only an idiot would trust someone who survived the massacre of multiple groups. As soon as I heard about him I did my best to stay away. I joined any trustworthy groups that had experienced members. Making sure not to be caught in the same group as him.


    Then I made a mistake. I entered a group that wasn''t very experienced and had four members instead of five. After making this mistake, unluckily enough my ''friend'' joined the group. I tried my best to stop them, but those inexperienced idiots actually accepted him.


    Since he was accepted I thought that it would be good for me to exit the group. As I tried to leave though, the dolts begged me to go with them. Otherwise they wouldn''t have enough people to go realm raiding. Which is when I made my second mistake, giving in to people''s demands to work with someone with such a sketchy background.


    After forming this group I stayed away from the guy. As long as I benefited without meeting my end it would be fine. Since we were the most experienced ones there though. We oftentimes had to do most of the difficult fights. In the end that raid went well, and since he and I did the most on that raid we got to split most of the loot from that trip.


    Afterwards, I was still cautious, and did my best not to be in the same group as him, but over long periods of time you are bound to make the same mistake. This happened a few more times spanning the two millennium I had been in the Cloud District. Though this was a long period of time, I wasn''t the oldest and certainly not the most experienced in the city. This happens when you realize that a millennium isn''t very long for a society with perpetual youth.


    I seem to have gotten used to having him around. While all the other groups I had been in were destroyed while I was not with them, or broke up due to me secretly taking the most expensive loot. I was never found out, due to me planting evidence but after getting angry at everyone for either being blamed or blaming someone else they were embarrassed. He became the only person I had grouped up with that neither didn''t want to work with me, nor no longer ''existed''.


    He and I started grouping together much more often afterwards. We would only join groups to benefit ourselves, and I did my best to find ways to do that. We would join groups of newbies that had come to the Cloud District and ''cooperate mutually''. They would group up with us and we would ''split the loot''. We''d take a larger reward for our efforts, and then we''d come back in secret to take all the ''secret treasures'' we found.


    After doing this, I began to rely on and trust my ''best friend''. Until today. As he and I set out someone pulled him to the side for a second. To me, this wasn''t strange and I thought nothing of it, but as he got back he started acting differently. This is when I made my last mistake. I was overconfident. Though I was suspicious of what he might be planning, I thought that I would be strong enough to get away from anything, no matter what it was.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    As we waited for the newbies we were planning to ''cooperate with'' at the gate, I tried to talk to my ''best friend''. I wanted to ask him why he was acting differently, trying to glean information about the ¡®place¡¯ in the enemy¡¯s territory he was going to bring the newbies and I. All he would say though, was that he had gained information from one of his ¡®friends¡¯. There was an unexplored place where it was possible to make it rich.


    Though I did not get any information about the trap, I was still happy. This man wouldn¡¯t tell such a blatant lie. This meant he would bring our group to an area with a lot of loot, even though it could be dangerous. Though the people in the shadows were probably going to kill us once we made it out.


    As I thought about that I waited until finally the newbies came. After they came we left the cloud district. Everyone had high morale, thinking they could make it rich on the expedition. I was the same, and as we made our way to the area marked out by my ¡®best friend¡¯ we did what normal people do on trips. We played around.


    The bowman hunted malnourished rabbits and other game with her bow. Since it would be a few days before we made it anywhere, I guess she decided to get food to eat, even though it would still be horrible. She also said she could cook, but when she tried the food either burnt up or was raw. I had to take her place because I could at least make edible food, which was rare in the cloud district. Everyone else was honest and said they couldn¡¯t.


    The dagger user played with his daggers, targeting apples that he asked people to throw. Missing most of the time, and making everyone sigh. Everytime he missed though our group slowed down and had to wait for him to find his blade. It wouldn¡¯t take him very long though. I guess he would make a good spotter, if he knew what to look for.


    The shield bearer tried to make jokes, making us laugh every once in a while. Though they looked weird what with their big body and small shield, I guessed that could make them lighter on their feet. Able to dodge attacks and block attacks aimed at the others.


    The swordsman tried to train their techniques. They seemed to know what they were doing. I just didn¡¯t know what style of swordsmanship that was, if it was one.


    The other, I didn¡¯t know what they were. They kept clasping their hands together and muttering. It was weird, but definitely not the weirdest thing I had ever seen. I¡¯m at least glad that they are having fun.


    The first night we camped it was quiet. There were no attacks, even though we were in enemy territory. We all took watch though, and while we were on watch we talked about things.


    I was on watch with the female bowman, as we talked I told her about how dangerous this mercenary job was.


    I asked ¡°Why are you doing this mercenary job?¡±


    She answered ¡°It¡¯s because I will suffer if I don¡¯t.¡±


    I replied, ¡°Why did you have to become a mercenary, though. It¡¯s not like you¡¯ll starve when you are this beautiful.¡± This caused her to blush, then I continued. ¡°If you just used your beauty correctly you should be able to make it pretty high up in society.¡±


    She angrily yelled at me ¡°The only way I could do that is by selling my body. There¡¯s no good men anywhere is there?¡±


    I replied ¡°Of course not, but that¡¯s why women should probably be in charge. If I was a good looking woman like you then I would use those looks to seduce men into doing what I want them to.¡±


    She replied ¡°But if I do that. It would conflict with my beliefs.¡±


    Why is this woman so hypocritical... and she doesn¡¯t even realize it. She¡¯s accentuating and flaunting her looks but says she doesn¡¯t want to use them. Hcoff


    After I coughed over what she just said she got confused ¡°What?¡±


    I replied ¡°You know that if you are so open with your appearance people will go after you, and not compromising values is another thing. If you keep being so straight-laced people are going to use and throw you away, no matter what it¡¯s about.¡±


    ¡°Wha-what do you mean?¡±


    ¡°I mean that you need to get new clothing. This clothing you wear might be good for moving around but it¡¯s dangerous around men. Where did you get it?¡±


    ¡°I got it at Old Greggs¡¯, armor shop.¡±


    ¡°Naniii? You went to Old Greggs¡¯, armor shop, the one with the funky ball of tits¡­?¡±


    ¡°Huh, what¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a ball of tits that supposedly allows you to become funky.¡±


    ¡°So that guy was a pervert all along.¡±


    ¡°Yes, if you saw what he had hanging behind the counter, you would have known immediately. Are you not very observant?¡±


    Blush ¡°I don¡¯t know what you are talking about, I notice almost everything that goes on around me. I will have you know.¡±


    ¡°And you didn¡¯t realize that the clothes you were wearing, give off super exposure.¡±


    ¡°Stop it¡±


    No wonder this girl is so straight-laced, she¡¯s a complete airhead. I guess it¡¯s a curse for being born beautiful.

 An idiot makes a deal with the devil... I mean raccoon.

    As we talked the sun began to rise. It was a new day, and though everyone was tired from the lack of sleep, we continued on towards our destination.


    There wasn¡¯t as much morale anymore. Everyone was still excited about the prospect of finding loot, and making it rich. However we were tired from the little amount of sleep we had gotten the night before. This caused us to fool around less, and decide to just get to the location. Then fight, find the loot and leave. Afterwards we would be able to do whatever we want, and get as much sleep as we wanted as well.


    As we walked, my best friend noticed something. ¡°There seems to be something following us.¡± He whispered to me. Making sure the newbs didn¡¯t hear.


    It made sense for him to not let the others hear. If they had then the newbs would have made a big show out of it, and we would soon be attacked. Just us two had to know, we would definitely be enough to take whoever it was out. If we weren¡¯t then there was nothing our whole group could do.


    As we walked and waited for whoever it was to show themselves I thought about how the newbs that were with us would be caught in the trap set by the men in the shadows. I wondered what they would do. Whether they would wait for the group to sleep, or if they would do an open attack during the day in an advantageous position.


    As I thought about what would happen, time quickly passed by. And before I knew it, the sky had already begun showing signs of darkness. As the others set up camp, I did my best cooking the meat and other food ingredients. As I cooked, I heard a rustle from the bushes to my right. Then I don¡¯t know why but my hands started moving on their own. When I finished cooking I looked down at what I made.


    The top had meat that I somehow cut into perfect circles. It looked like I had used the disgusting meat from the animals the bowman had hunted. Underneath that was some sort of precious milk product. It looked kind of old, but still looked good to eat. There was something red underneath that. Was that the blood of animals? Why would I remove that poison from the animals just to put it on the food. Was I trying to kill my group. Then there was some bread. I don¡¯t know how I got it, and the bread looked amazing. It was bubbly, and thicker than all the other bread I had seen in the time since I had come to the Cloud District.


    It was circular and looked to be one of the most amazing foods I have actually cooked. If it was actually edible with the poisonous blood on it. As I was observing the food the group came over. I guess the smell of the unknown food was too irresistible to wait until the setting up of camp was done. After eating, everyone was full. For what I assume to be the first time since coming to the Cloud District. Everyone was always malnourished there, due to lack of food but could not die from it. No matter how much one wanted to. I guess the ¡®blood¡¯ I used was not blood. Otherwise everyone would either be lying down sick. Spewing their guts out.


    I waited until everyone was finished eating. I did not know if I had poisoned the food on accident. Trying to make something that actually tastes good. However now that everyone is full and done eating they should be throwing up if I actually did poison the food. Now it stands to reason that I actually did not poison the food, and should be able to eat as well. Good thing I made extras. Otherwise I wouldn¡¯t have been able to eat at all tonight.


    I called first watch. Saying that I could do it myself, and that due to me being experienced I would not fall asleep.


    As everyone went to bed I stayed up, and secretly took out the other two dishes I had made. One was different from the other. One had no meat on it and the other did. I hadn¡¯t gotten enough meat from the bowman¡¯s hunting to cover the third I made. When I took the dish out though I heard a voice.


    ¡°Can you give me some of that pizza?¡± the voice asked.


    I replied ¡°What will you give me for this ¡®pizza¡¯?¡±


    ¡°First can I show myself? Without you attacking me?¡± the voice replied.


    ¡°Sure¡±


    As the voice slowly came out of the bushes I first saw that the person was very hairy. Or was that fur? The person must¡¯ve been very small and had a deformed body. The hand only had 4 fingers, or was that a claw?


    Then as it came further out of the bushes I could see that it was indeed fur covering the person. What came out next was a short but skinny arm covered in grey fur.


    Then came out the other hand and arm, the exact same except for, this time it was a left ¡®hand¡¯.


    Then came out the head. The nose was extended and black, around that was a white ¡®muzzle¡¯ or is that what you call an animals face around the nose?


    After having that question pop up in my mind I thought, is this really a person? It is speaking though, so it must be. Afterwards came out the rest of the head. Around the eyes was black fur. Kind of like a mask. Then around that was another layer of white. The top of the head had ears pointed straight up. Not the rounded sort that humans have but the triangular shaped ones that most animals have. Now I was confused. This can¡¯t be a person, it doesn¡¯t have the right face shape.


    Then the rest of the body came out. It was about the same as the front. Just the body thickened once it got to the bottom, or is that the back? Anyway, it was near the butt of the ¡®thing¡¯.


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    Then came out the tail. It was a fluffy tail with black and grey stripes.


    ¡°What the FUCK are you?¡± I said louder than I meant to.


    ¡°Shhh. I don¡¯t want anyone else to see me. If they do, they will most likely kill me. Due to the fact that I''m a talking animal.¡± Whispered the ¡®thing¡¯.


    Once he stopped talking something fell behind the bushes.


    ¡°Fuck¡± said the thing. Due to the fact that the object made a large booming noise.


    After the booming noise someone seemed to have woken up. There was a sound coming from one of the tents.


    ¡°Hide!¡± I frantically whispered.


    Then the thing ran back into the bushes.


    As it ran for the bushes, the tent flaps were pushed to the side.


    Out came the mysterious figure in the green robes. It seemed that the figure slept in the robes because when they came out they were fully clothed. Even though I could only hear sounds less than a minute ago. The figure seemed to have been woken up when the object fell and thought there was an attack. They had left the tent hurriedly, bringing with them the staff thing.


    ¡°Did you hear anything?¡± the robed figure asked?


    ¡°No, I have not heard anything. Have you?¡± I replied.


    ¡°If I hadn¡¯t heard anything, why would I be getting up?¡±


    ¡°Maybe you had a nightmare? Most people who hide their faces, and change their voices have bad pasts. If they didn¡¯t, why would they hide themselves.¡±


    ¡°WHaT? How did you know I was distorting my voice. I heard that people from the lower middle class couldn¡¯t notice that happening.¡±


    ¡°Well. Have you ever heard of someone changing their voices to sound like the opposite genders, if it wasn¡¯t natural? It¡¯s that feeling. Though most people won¡¯t notice that if someone is skilled at changing their voice. If it¡¯s someone as old as me, they should notice. Especially when they have been cautious around people throughout their whole life.¡±


    ¡°Then you don¡¯t know about people distorting their voices?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean by that, I just told you I¡¯m experienced in the act of changing voices.¡± I say, with exactly the same voice as the female bowman¡¯s, but without moving my mouth and distorting the sound to come from behind the robed figure.


    ¡°WHAT? Someone else is awake, besides us?¡±


    ¡°Are you dumb? I just changed my voice right in front of you to prove that I know about how people can use their voices to hide themselves. And you thought there was someone else here..?¡±


    ¡°How did you do that?¡±


    ¡°What? The changing of my voice? Practice.¡±


    ¡°No, the movement of the sound to make it seem like it came from somewhere else. Was that magic?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean magic. It¡¯s just a normal ability for people who are used to taking hundreds of years to do things.¡±


    ¡°Then that wasn¡¯t magic?¡±


    ¡°Magic is a myth. No matter what anyone tells you about it, don¡¯t believe them. Science is an absolute in this world. All those ¡®gods¡¯ everyone talk about, that bring about miracles are just scientists who know more about how the world works than anyone else.¡±


    ¡°THAT¡¯s NOT TRUE. The gods are real, and magic is as well.¡±


    Fuck. The religious people got to this one already¡­


    ¡°Let¡¯s see about that then. In the future are those ¡®gods¡¯ going to save you? If they do, then do what you want. Worship an ant for all I care. But go to sleep for now. Didn¡¯t you hear me when I said I wanted to take watch tonight? GO AWAY.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I got it.¡±


    As she leaves I grumble.


    Now I¡¯m in a bad mood. I thought tonight would be a good night. The first one that I would neither be grumpy or hungry.


    Then I call the ¡®animal¡¯ to come out. ¡°Yo animal, you can come back out now. That annoyance went back to bed.¡±


    ¡°Lep, got it.¡± The ¡®thing¡¯ replied. Then left the bushes where it was hiding. ¡°I was saying how I would trade something for the pizza you have.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. So, what would you trade for this ¡®pizza¡¯?¡±


    ¡°I have a few things that I could do. First, I could roll for you. Secondly, I could give you some chocolate. Third, I could give you a mystery stone. Lastly, I could become your pet.¡±


    As the animal talked I thought about what to trade this ¡®pizza¡¯ for. Since the little animal is so darn cute, it would be amazing to see this animal roll, but that trade is a trap. If I made the animal my pet I would be able to see the animal roll many times over. Then again. If I make this animal my pet I may not be able to protect it while running from the trap set on our way back from the raiding zone. It would be a shame for an animal as cute as this to die so soon. That means I can cross off the 1st and 4th choices. That leaves the ¡®chocolate¡¯ and the mystery stone. Out of the three things I could choose from I don¡¯t know what any are. I just thought that this ¡®pizza¡¯ thing must be special, if someone was willing to trade something for it. Now that I know it¡¯s a talking animal wanting to make a trade, I know it must be something even more special. However, if I were to trade this ¡®pizza¡¯ that I have in exchange for this ¡®chocolate¡¯ thing, I would definitely lose out. Even if this ¡®chocolate¡¯ is something physical, it is rated lower than this ¡®pizza¡¯ I have. By an animal no less. That leaves only the mysterious rock and the ¡®pizza¡¯.


    ¡°Can I ask a question first though?¡± I ask.


    ¡°What would you like to ask? The animal replied.


    ¡°First, what is this ¡®pizza¡¯ thing you are talking about?¡±


    ¡°It is the food you are holding.¡± The animal replied, seemingly annoyed.


    ¡°Can I ask another question?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± The animal replied, still sounding annoyed.


    ¡°What is this ¡®mystery rock¡¯ you are talking about?¡±


    ¡°I have no idea? If I did why would I tell you it¡¯s a mystery rock?¡± The animal sounded really annoyed now.


    ¡°If you wanted to scam me, that¡¯s why.¡±


    ¡°That makes sense, but that doesn¡¯t matter. If I wanted to scam you, so what?¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    So the animal actually seems to know. However, what if he¡¯s trying to trick me into believing he does know. Though this pizza is really good, I have two. Maybe I can trade one for this mystery rock. Then I will be able to have both the rock and the pizza.


    ¡°OK, I have made my decision. I have chosen to trade a pizza for your ¡®mystery rock¡¯.¡±


    The animal disappeared and after reappearing, it looked like it was dragging something along with it¡­


    Was that a trash can? It looked like the trash cans from the cloud district, just a little more flimsy and made of lighter material.


    ¡°Oh, I got it. You are one of those garbage collectors¡­¡±


    ¡°DON¡¯T call me a garbage collector.¡±


    ¡°Sorry, sorry. Then one of those ¡®trash pandas¡¯ I have heard of. I have never seen one before. I didn¡¯t know that they could talk. I only knew that the top brass had it out for you guys. Something about ripping open garbage cans and making a mess of society.¡±


    ¡°I AM A RACCOON¡­ But, that doesn¡¯t matter right now. Let¡¯s get back to business.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right, we are just making a trade. There is no reason to attack someone you are trading with.¡± Well unless you want to be dishonorable and take everything. But that would lead to some pretty bad comebacks in the future. Something about the ¡®butterfly effect¡¯ or something.


    ¡°Ok then, here is the mystery rock you wanted to trade the pizza for¡­¡± The ¡®raccoon¡¯ takes out a rock that has a question mark on it from the trashcan and walks over.


    ¡°And, here is the pizza you wanted to trade for the mystery rock.¡± I took the pizza without meat on it and handed it to the ¡®raccoon.¡¯


    After making the trade, the raccoon ran away. Probably to go and eat the pizza while it was still warm.

 The idiot looks into the abyss

    Immediately after the raccoon leaves is study the mysterious rock. NOT. Who the FUCK cares whether or not the ROCK a raccoon gave to me is worth anything right now. The first thing I did was take the meat covered pizza out. I¡¯m hungry. So I¡¯m going to eat.


    When eating something that you are not used to. The first thing you need to do is smell the thing you are eating, and so I did.


    What I smelled surprised me. It was nothing like I had ever smelled before. Even nobles within the cloud district would be brimming with envy. Willing to pay anything for even a whiff. It was at least 100 times better than anything I had ever smelled, and I had partied with even people from the inner circle of the cloud district. If anyone had food that smelled like this, they would either be raided or blackmailed into giving it away. Even the rulers of the cloud district would not be spared. Luckily, I made it out in the radioactive forest where there is no one around. Well, besides that raccoon and the party who have already eaten.


    Though I am starving, and drooling all over the place I need to savor this. I can wait until the smell dies down.


    After I start to get used to the smell I decide to eat.


    The first thing I do is take off one of the circular pieces of meat and bring it to my tongue. It''s spicy. Causing me to get goosebumps and sending chills down my spine. It¡¯s a little tough, and chewy.  Distracting me. Taking my thoughts away from the wild spiciness.


    I can''t wait anymore. I take a bite. This time without the circular meat.


    The first thing I notice is the juice. It bursts throughout my mouth, giving off a bittersweet taste. Bringing back all the emotions I have felt throughout my life. The liquid feeling smooth and hot to the touch, warming my soul.


    Then, unable to help myself. I search around my mouth for any lingering flavor and feel an elasticity. This substance gives off another burst of flavor, different from before. It''s slightly tangy and sticks to the tongue, removing all of the bitterness from earlier.


    Then I begin to chew, and I feel a crunch. The crunchiness of the bread seems to bring all of the textures together but it adds a subtle taste as well. Though not prominent, it gives off a blandness. The blandness mixes everything together, but also diminishes the explosiveness of the other flavors.


    It¡¯s amazing, but I¡¯m not done yet. I haven¡¯t eaten the meat alongside everything else yet.


    After taking another bite. This time with the meat, I feel all the flavors that I did before, but the texture is godly. Though I want to savor it, it is impossible to do. I eat as much as I can of it and when I¡¯m done, less than a minute has passed. I¡¯m full and half the pizza is still there.


    I guess I can save it for later. Hopefully it still tastes good when it gets cold.


    After another hour of night watch I decide to wake up the mysterious figure. They got me into a bad mood, and now they could be on night watch. Either alone or with someone else I don¡¯t care. As long as they learn their lesson¡­


    The third day after leaving the cloud district was boring. Though it had been fun travelling along with the newbies, that fun had died down. Now that I had learned about all the interesting parts it seemed they would show. Even discovering the stupidity of the masked figure and beautiful hunter I had seen enough.


    Does this sound impatient of a 2 millennium old guy who even learned to bend the sound of his own voice. Probably. But now that I had learned about the two people¡¯s stupidity, I was pissed. If I learned that anyone else in this group was stupid, I¡¯d probably kill them.


    Then, I remembered the mysterious stone. Though we were now 2 days into enemy territory the land we had entered was wide, and we were on a secret path created by the cloud district. If we were found here, then I guess we are screwed. The secret path was built for secrecy, not mobility.


    The decayed forest would give better chance for escape. If we left this path to go in there, who knows what mutated beast would come after us. All who entered disappeared, never to be seen again.


    Anyways, back to the stone. I don¡¯t know why I got sidetracked, but I won¡¯t be anymore. It¡¯s time for me to find out what this sucker is. I hope it¡¯s not a fossilized poop or something. You never know what a raccoon might be storing in its¡¯ garbage can.


    The first thing I do to discover its secrets is feel it. It¡¯s solid, smooth, and feels warm. There is something sticky on it as well.


    Wait, I can¡¯t remove my hand.


    Freaking out. I pull my hand out of my pocket, along with the mysterious stone. I look at the place where my fingers are stuck. And there I find something mysteriously white. Strange, I thought. I didn¡¯t see any white stuff on this ball before.


    Then, in order to figure out what the white stuff was, I licked it.


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    I just SAID what I did.


    I LICKED IT.


    As I licked it, I realized it was the milk substance that I had used to make the pizza.


    When did this get on the stone.


    Then, forcing my hand off of the mysterious stone, I felt around inside my pocket for more of the white ingredient. As I felt around, my hand got stuck, and pulling my hand out of my pocket I figured out where the white ingredient came from. I guess I had a milk pouch inside my knapsack. When I was cooking, I mistakenly put it inside my pocket. This let the milk harden inside it, making the mysterious white stuff.


    Finally, I know where the stuff on top of the ¡®pizza¡¯ came from. Now, I just need to find out how I made that sauce. Then when I go back to the Cloud District I can become a chef. If I become a chef, there is danger of being attacked by would be business rivals. However, I would easily gain reputation, and become rich if I cooked. This would bring protection as well because if I don¡¯t share the recipe, the supporters of pizza will protect it. There is no reason to stay a mercenary when I have the recipe to a dish no others can make.


    While I was thinking about how I would become a chef, a few hours passed by. Then, the swordsman who seemed to be content the last few days swinging their sword stopped. They came over to me and asked what the thing in my hand was.


    I forgot about this.


    In reply, I said, ¡°It¡¯s a rock I found that seemed interesting, so I picked it up.¡±


    ¡°What is so interesting about it?¡± the shield bearer replied.


    ¡°It¡¯s got a question mark on it. Though I have seen rocks that look like letters and numbers, there has never been one as perfect as this.¡±


    ¡°Then why are you holding it in a fist, instead of looking at it?¡± the swordsman asked.


    Why the FUCK is this happening? The first two people I talk to are idiots, and now these people are ganging up on me. Asking about my stuff. Do they want me to kill them?


    ¡°Yo, mind your own business. If you ask anymore questions I¡¯ll rip your heads off.


    ¡°Hai sir¡± the swordsman and shield bearer replied.


    ¡°Good, anyone else want to ask any questions?¡±


    Scanning around to see everyone I notice everyone shaking their heads. Though I don¡¯t check to see if my friend is shaking their head. I don¡¯t care. He knows enough not to ask ¡®private¡¯ questions.


    Though I am super pissed off, the swordsman did remind me about the stone. I guess there is always a silver lining to every grey cloud, or whatever that saying was.


    Now that I have touched all over the spherical part, it¡¯s time to touch the question mark.


    As I touched the question mark I heard a click. At first I thought it was a mechanism that would do something, but after putting more pressure on it. Nothing happened. Until I took my fingers off it and the question mark fell out of the stone.


    After picking the question mark back up I began to delicately put pressure on it. I did my best to make sure it did not break while I examined it. It was rough, unlike the rest of the stone. Then I cut myself. Making sure not to scream and bother the group, who were already annoying without me doing anything I looked at the place the question mark had cut me. There was a little blood, but it didn¡¯t look too bad.


    I guess besides the rough parts, there were also some sharp parts of the question mark as well.


    Though I was seething, I tried to cheer myself up.


    Wow, that surprised me. I guess I¡¯m glad that nothing came out and attacked at least.


    Completely failing.


    There was nothing good about being cut by a rock. Especially one I thought might be worth something. Everytime it did something wrong. I don¡¯t care whether or not I was the one that brought out the effect. I just want to throw it on the ground and leave it.


    After calming down, I gave up on trying to study it through touch.


    Though I gave up on touching the stone, and searching for secrets that may only be activated through touch. I wasn¡¯t worried about that, I could do it later. However, I was reluctant to leave the hole created by the question mark behind. I had wanted to stick my fingers inside it, wondering if the question mark was supposed to fall off but decided against it. I didn¡¯t want to get cut again.


    Now that I was no longer feeling up the stone I had to use something else to study it. Picking up some (color of uranium, and coal mixed) pebbles on the ground, I used the blood stuck on my hands to make a sort of glove. Though it burned, there was not much pain, and this would protect me from any surprisingly sharp edges.


    Now that I was done observing the stone in the easiest way possible, there was no other easy ways. I didn¡¯t have superhuman hearing, though I wouldn¡¯t say my hearing is bad. It was just not enough. I couldn¡¯t taste the thing anymore without risk of cutting my tongue so that was out. Oh, I guess I could observe the thing through smell, but I dropped some cheese on it. There is a high chance that all I¡¯ll smell is that. So, The only way to observe something without touching, hearing, smelling, or tasting it was¡­ Drum Roll Please...


    Nothing. There was no way to observe this stupid rock with a question mark besides using those four senses.


    I mean, I could look at the rock but I already know what it looks like. Its a (hoophy¡¯s core) with a question mark on it. There was a little white cheese on it as well. It¡¯s not like I could find anything else right now.


    Or could I? There was now a hole in the stone, that may hold some secrets. If I look inside it I may be able to find the secrets the rock holds.


    Ok, let''s do it. I thought. Trying to hype myself up in case there was a creature or mechanism that would jump out on me.


    Carefully looking inside I saw...


    Nothing.


    Well, that was anticlimactic. Guess I''m done.


    Just kidding. I haven''t let my eyes adjust yet. Of course I saw nothing. If I had actually¡­


    Wait, what''s that? I think I saw something moving. Oh. And there''s an inscription.


    Let''s see what it says.


    Oh yes, the spider. Even the smallest bite from the araknis deficus will cause instant paralysis Watch out for it.


    Naniii? What''s that mean? I haven''t heard of the arachnis death¡­


    "Ahhh!!! Get it off."


    I said, as I had something hit my eye.


    Feeling numbness creep into my body, I thought about how the mystery rock the raccoon had given me was a trap. If I had given him more pizza maybe he would have given me information on this rock. Or maybe he really didn¡¯t know. All I knew was that if I saw it again I would torture it to death. And if there was such a thing as an afterlife, I would never be at peace until it ate 10000 needles.


    Why 10000 needles you ask. Well, I was reading a picture book and saw that eating 10000 needles was what you had to go through if you broke a promise then you would be forgiven. And I like those types of picture books, so if the raccoon did what was stated in those picture books. I guess I would need to forgive him, no matter what he did.


    As I layed there with the group just looking at me I saw them getting things to prank me with. The swordsman took stones and stuffed them in my mouth. Unable to feel anything nor move. I could not do anything about it though. Hopefully, I would not choke on them and die.


    The shield carrier started digging a hole, and when he was done. They took my stone, and placed me inside the ground. Well, the swordsman, shield carrier, and dagger thrower. Everyone else actually set up camp, and did things so that they could relax.


    After what felt like forever, I could finally move again. I was inside a hole covered in dirt. Stuffed with rocks, and annoyed. At least they left me an airhole, so I could survive. Then once I got out I would make them pay. Though I was not pranked by my ¡®best friend¡¯, the mysterious, or the seductive bowman. They hadn¡¯t stopped the pranksters. Though this made them bystanders, and technically innocent. To me, they were just as bad.


    Though I want to get out of here. It¡¯s not entirely uncomfortable. It¡¯s cool, and at the same time my body heat is keeping me warm. The only problem is the stones in my mouth. Luckily, they placed me in the ground face down so I could spit it out.


    After having a hard time spitting out the stones I thought about how I would get revenge. Though I could just kill them, that wouldn¡¯t be any fun. I needed to do something that was not only fun for me, but also horrible for the people that pranked me...

 just another comedic entrance... that Im expecting no one to read

    The First Night


    Today... was a good day, since today was the day I was going camping with my friends. It was a long drive from my apartment building, the first building I lived in without my family next to me. Though I had heard bad stories about camping, and how people didn¡¯t like the great outdoors,that meant nothing to me. I loved the forest, and everything that came with it- the animals, predators and prey alike. Well, besides the bugs, that is. Mosquitos are a nightmare to me, and there is nothing I can do to make them go away. Bug Spray is a lie. Modern technology doesn¡¯t work either. Those machines that use signals, and bug zappers, only serve to attract bugs,amely mosquitos, closer...


    Sorry, sorry. I got off topic.If I continued complaining about mosquitos, we¡¯d be here all night.Back to the trip. Though, it was going to be a long drive, I was super excited. Yesterday, my friends and I had started out this journey  by going to superstores for supplies to last the four days we¡¯d be camping. We got hot dogs, spicy chips, cookies, lighters, knives, tents, new clothes, and lots of other things, too many to keep track of. We went back home in order to rest for the travelling we were going to do tomorrow. Well, I went back home. My friends came to my house to pack, due to the fact that we were going to drive in my vehicle.


    Now, back to today. I probably didn¡¯t need to tell you about yesterday, but I wanted to. I¡¯m kind of freaking out right now, and wanted to get some of this fear off my chest.


    Today started out with my friends and I putting all of the items we needed for camping into and onto my van. It was super crowded. We had to rearrange the trunk due to lack of space, and still had things hanging off the van. It would take around 4 hours to get where we were going and it was bound to get uncomfortable.


    As we travelled, we got hungry like all people do when travelling in a car for a few hours. We stopped for some lunch. Happily spreading out the food and eating was joy itself. Though, the food was disgusting. I didn¡¯t care. When you are driving, you wouldn¡¯t care either if you hadn¡¯t eaten for 3 hours.


    Then we set off again, this time making it to the place we were heading which was¡­


    NOT, the campgrounds.


    The first place we were headed was the beach. I mean... What¡¯s camping without swimming, right?This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Right? I mean, I¡¯m not going crazy, am I?


    Na, I¡¯m probably not going crazy. If I was, then I¡¯d be going sane, not insane.  I¡¯m already cuckoo in the head.


    Near the beach was a theme park, and naturally, we as tourists decided to enter it. We wanted to getsome thrills before heading back out onto the road.


    The first thing we saw as we went into the theme park was a bumper cart ride, one of the classics. Of course we had to give it a whirl. I was lucky and figured out how to drive quickly. XBlood, one of my older friends, got stuck going backwards. KK and Kris had to ride together because there were a lot of broken carts. They got stuck after crashing into the corner and were unable to figure out how to get unstuck. Aurora did amazing. She immediately realised how to drive the kart. After turning the steering wheel to the right, she went forwards, and after turning it to the left, she went backwards. Then she could drive correctly. Izy did pretty well, but never figured out how to go backwards,so whenever he hit someone, he kept ramming until they got away.


    Afterwards, we went on water rides and some roller coasters, one of which Izy threw up on. Though, I don¡¯t know how. Maybe it was because of the food we all ate that made his stomach upset.


    After running out of tickets, we left satisfied, as we had been entertained for quite a while. Looking at the clock in the front dash of the vehicle showed we had been at the beach and theme park for a few hours. We were all hungry and it was close to dinner time, so we looked for a restaurant to eat at. The first place we found had a relatively expensive menu, so we decided to find another place to go.


    Finally, we ended up at a smokehouse with much cheaper food. It was good though. As I always say, food is never what it costs nor what it looks like. Though higher prices usually grant you better food, if you know what to look for, price does not matter. What the food looks like is just an extra, not the food itself.


    Since this was the last stop, we were all excited about the prospect of camping. After finishing dinner, I said goodbye to the cruel world full of hard work, virtual entertainment, and pain.


    And how do you do that, you ask? Virtually, that¡¯s how. You call up your boss, saying something came up so you wouldn¡¯t be able to work, cancel your subscription for the gym, and then turn off the blue light that is always accompanying you wherever you go- the cellphone.


    At the campsite, we unpacked all the stuff that we ¡®needed¡¯ for camping. We were probably being overenthusiastic about what we did bring, and not being minimalistic like I usually am.


    Setting up the tents, and laying out the bedrolls, took a while. It brought us into the night. Since it was dark however, we decided not to build a fire. It was dangerous to walk around a campsite without light, and we had decided not to use electronics, making the deal that if we did,we would have to do one of those fear challenges on tv. Because of the danger, Izy and KK, the younger ones among us went to sleep.


    That¡¯s when we began to hear strange noises. I mean, there''s nothing wrong with hearing a wolf or an owl every once in a while. But, this was something different. When we looked at where the sound was coming from, which had been coming from outside the tent, on the ground were the words.


    I AM THE NIGHTMARE.


    Written in red, mosquitos bugging around.