《Paradigm of a Blurred Thought》 The fundamental problem with is and was The quick definition of the words is and was for the context of this thought experiment is simply: is; currently, was; has been but not currently. What is the point of this thought experiment? The point of this thought experiment is to put into perspective views one might just ignore, based on personal or instilled thinking. Many may not see a difference in is/was and lump them together as if the same thing has been said. Deeper thinking while expanding the paradigm Say one looks back at an old diary entry they wrote years ago, this entry contains thoughts or opinions that they no longer have: The statement pizza is my favorite food is very subjective at the time in a persons life. Their taste buds have expanded since the journal entry and this is no longer the case. This is an easy example of was. A person¡¯s taste buds could have changed, they could have found a food they like more, or maybe they now relate pizza with a bad life event. There is no argument that pizza isn''t their favorite food. Now let¡¯s make the context more polarizing and extreme: Stating in public or making a remark on a social media website saying God hates fags and they should all die is close minded. This could be brought on by how one was raised, personal beliefs, or culture at the time. Since the time of the statement however, the person no longer believes this. They since may have grown, became more open minded, or maybe had a loved one come out, forcing them to try and understand. Is this person homophobic or was this person homophobic? The answer may not be black and white for some. Even though this person has evolved in their thinking, the argument of is and was might still be defaulted to is. Let¡¯s take this a couple steps further without the diary: A person commits a heinous crime to the harsh degree of murder or rape. At the time of the incident, the person very likely thought that it was okay. Since then, they¡¯ve payed their dues to society and no longer thinks this way. Although they¡¯ve evolved in their mindset, many now will think this person is a murderer or is a rapist. There is no was, those titles are cemented in to this person whether they¡¯ve truly changed or not. What was the point of those? The point of those examples is to show how an extreme can shift the possibility of is never becoming was. Although the examples are not even close to being the same, the ending was ¨C the person has since changed and no longer thinks that way. Now we shift the thought to; can a person change For many, this depends on their personal morals and how they perceive the world. An extreme can cause a person to refuse to think critically. In the first statement, pizza is my favorite food, everyone can see that this is not the case anymore when one says they¡¯ve changed, no one will argue that pizza still is their favorite food. In the last statement of rape or murder, many will not even engage in a discussion about the persons change. They see them as evil and will only ever see them as evil.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. For this next thought map, picture earth. Split the planet up into these three parts: the core, everything between the core and ground, and everything above the ground.
  1. On the outside we can see weather change, we can experience it. No one thinking above an infantile level is going to think that it will always be sunny, or that it will only ever rain.
  2. Under the ground, we have tectonic plates. Many people will not experience a change in them (like an earthquake.) We know they happen and that the evidence of change goes much further than the ground shaking. Still some, albeit like very few, will refuse to believe it.
  3. The core is much different than the first two examples. We are told that it changes, but outside of a very few, no one will experience any change that will influence their lives in the slightest. It is not worth taking the time to wonder if it is changing or not.
More to the point of this experiment, it is easy to say the earth¡¯s core was always like it is now. It is the same as it has always been and cannot change from the core we know now. Evolution relative to the thought paradigm Before there were humans, many organisms roamed the earth. The raw instinct of wanting to survive and pass down our DNA is literally in our genes. If it is not a basic instinct for an organism, then they are doomed to become extinct. Surviving hundreds of millions of years depends on passing on our genes. If one organism is being preyed on by a predator, they aren¡¯t going to take the chance of maybe this one predator has changed, a mistake will end it for them. If one of the organisms¡¯ own kind starts killing others of the same species, you leave them behind as they are now permanently labeled as a danger. This has been passed down all the way to man. We know to stay away from, say, bears because they are a danger. A mentally healthy person wants to pass down their genes. Evolution in critical thinking Humans are able to think passed basic instincts. We can survive as a species without our past primal instincts. When talking about intelligent life, that was our way of thinking in some aspect but is our way of thinking in others. If an individual takes another¡¯s life, our genetical response is to mark that person as a permanent danger, regardless if they have changed since the event or not. Critically thinking passed evolution The argument is now are humans not only capable, but willing to believe in core redemption. As stated above, in the past ¨C before critical thinking ¨C that may have ended as a grave mistake. The human race as a species is now above that line of thinking. We know there is weather, we know tectonic plates move, and we are able to rationalize that the earth¡¯s core can change. That line of thinking now must be applied to other aspects of our lives. Closing thought experiment You, a family member, or someone you know quite well makes a mistake. Maybe they have unaddressed mental problems and does do something bad; murder, radicalize an entire race or group of people, or says pizza is their favorite food. Would you want to be redeemed in the eyes of society? Would you want your mom, dad, family friend redeemed? It is much easier to forgive a person close to you, but that shouldn¡¯t rule out forgiveness for those around you, especially those you can see the evidence of. Evidence of any change should not be ignored.
Dear professor Amla, Attached is a thesis based on my thinking and rationales. Through relating change and critical thinking, I am trying to persuade a reader to think about our society as a whole ¨C to put them on a grander scale than their immediate circle. I would appreciate feedback and any stray thoughts you may have on the subject. Thank you, Liam Adler Thinking of a different direction Liam, I read your thesis and while it does have some good ideas, degrees of crime are different for a reason. You talk about this whole evolutionary change that we can differentiate someone who has changed but right before, you state we have evolved to hate criminals. Murderers can change, but that doesn¡¯t mean everyone should be forced to see them differently. In this society we all have different views and different beliefs, to say we should all be able to differentiate and trust this complete stranger is ludicrous. If humans have evolved any characteristics it is the right to reserve judgement for themselves. More towards the point of everyone having different views, someone who does commit a heinous crime or someone who is prejudice against another group of people can easily just say they¡¯ve changed. If a now celebrity said something controversial before they were famous, of course they are going to say they¡¯ve changed, even if they haven¡¯t. They will do what it takes to keep their job and social status. We are made to be skeptical creatures and question everything around us. To the murder point, murder is one of the most amoral actions one can take. Someone who is able to commit it likely had an upbringing that didn¡¯t instill common human morals. The point I suggest you pivot to (either for your thesis or just to think critically more) is ¡®can people gain morals?¡¯ The old phrase ¡®an old dog can¡¯t learn new tricks¡¯ is trivial and juvenile, but while that may be, we can apply it to this question as ¡°can one learn morals later in life." When one thinks about morals, they are mostly learnt and instilled into us through our upbringing. If you can learn them later on in life, how does one do it. While I see many good points you made, that doesn¡¯t mean everything can be applied to the same degree. Morally, stealing bread to save your family is very different from taking someone¡¯s life even if it is somehow justified. I would like to see you during my office hours if you get the chance, Professor Amla
The campus was empty, it was a Friday at 3pm and it seems everyone has left for the weekend or is already in the dorms. Walking the vacant campus Liam was able to concentrate on some of the points professor Amla made. I can see murder and stealing are different, but how much of a point is that? I guess personally I would not like to be in a room alone with a ex-murderer, even if I believe he has changed. So why does this knowledge create an aura around a person. Where does it come from and what does it take to get away from or even change it. Walking up the steps of the old university building he couldn¡¯t help but feel nervous as he heads towards the professor¡¯s office. Dr. Amla was known on campus to have very specific standards and if you don¡¯t meet them you don¡¯t pass. If you fail this final thesis, you fail the course outright. Although you get many chances, that doesn¡¯t make me any less nerve racking.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Liam I am glad you took my advice an came to me. Before we discuss your thesis though let me ask you this so maybe I¡¯ll be able to guide you in a direction we both prefer. You don¡¯t have to answer to the detail, but I do believe the past can guide one to the future. How was your up bringing? Liam grew up in a single family home. His father Steve passed away before he was 3 so he has no memories of him. His family consists of his mother and his slightly older twin sisters. Times were tough most of his life. His mom worked multiple jobs just to provide for them. Although he was economically poor, Liam always worked hard and earned an academic scholarship to a prestigious university. Liam was a philosophy major with a physics minor. Not being able to write a thesis Dr. Amla would accept would mean failing the class and losing his scholarship. His view on the world is based on the hard work of his mother and how she was always going above and beyond to help anyone in need. While that is admirable in its own right, I think your view is limited to your own life. This isn¡¯t necessarily bad, and you haven¡¯t experienced a whole lot, a little empathy goes a long way when taking this course. I suggest at first writing from the opposite viewpoint at first. I don¡¯t want you to submit this, but it will help you leave your comfort zone. There is little over a month left in the school year and the thesis is due the week before the term ends so you have plenty of time to work on it. I believe you won¡¯t have a problem with this. Please email me or see me after class if you need any help. Liam arrived back at his dorm to come back to an empty room. His roommate was always at a party or in a girl¡¯s room and would come back in the middle of the night, sometimes not for days. As annoying as it was, it was relieving to have the room to himself most of the time. Liam has always been socially awkward. He would always make sure to blend in and stay quiet, your classic introvert. That night he kept thinking of what Dr. Amla said ¡°write from the opposite viewpoint¡± he couldn¡¯t imagine giving up his beliefs even if it was for a hypothetical. Finally, after a night of thinking himself to exhaustion, he falls asleep, ready to spend the next day trying to fix his thoughts. The difference The fundamental problem with is and was The point of this paper is to show the difference between is and was and how much the difference may matter The difference between is and was is the tenses they represent. At first glance one can easily identify past and present when they are in a sentence. The problem is that the time doesn¡¯t matter for things. If you paint a blue car red, it was a blue car and now is a red car. No confusion in the context of tense. But once we go from that to, if a man stops robbing banks, he was a bank robber and is now not. That doesn¡¯t make sense. The man is, and will always be, a bank robber. He might not ever rob a bank again, but that title now accurately depicts him and it always will. So where do we go from here? Once a certain degree is hit, no matter what one can do will chance the perception they receive. Imagine trying to find the moon on a cloudy night, just because you can¡¯t see it doesn¡¯t mean it is not there. Even if you haven¡¯t see the moon in weeks, there are no discrepancies that would make someone think it is no longer in the sky. Let¡¯s expand on this idea In the daytime, it does make sense to say the moon was in the sky. The problem is that it still is, even now when we use the past tense. This concept is being used on a meaningless idea though, so where do we take it? The tattoo differences The differences of types of tattoos are drastically distinct. Where a rub on tattoo might last for a day, a permanent tattoo is, well, permanent. How ever you were thinking at the time, whatever ideals you had, are now stamped on you forever. If you get a tattoo of your favorite band, then years later hate that band, you are marked as someone who does not hate that band. The only way to take that perception away is to alter or change the permanent ink. What actions are permanent ink? Actions that don¡¯t just affect you and affect someone else are permanent. If you break someone¡¯s heart they may recover, but you are a heart breaker. If you paint your room blue, no one except you cares. If that action does affect someone it is not affecting their status of life. Let¡¯s twist this idea a bit with critical thinking. If someone tattoos their face (permanent ink aside) now everyone sees you as whatever preconceptions they have about people with face tattoos. Even though this doesn¡¯t affect them in the slightest, if affects the perception received for you.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. The point. The point of this paper is to show that there doesn¡¯t necessarily have to be a difference between is and was. That the differences ultimately depends on what has happened. Dear Dr. Amla, I am sure you could tell but this was difficult for me to write. Since it isn¡¯t the thesis I wanted to make, I didn¡¯t make it long enough per your guidelines. I am wondering if I am getting the gist of what you suggested.
Liam, I am currently in a meeting at the auditorium until 4. I will make a detailed reply later. From what I see though is that you aren¡¯t actually thinking in that way, you are imitating someone who would think in that way. This is not at all what I wanted you to do. I do not think you took my suggestion as I said.
This response angered Liam. He took 2 hours to write half a thesis he did not agree with. What does she mean I am not actually thinking that way of course I am not thinking that way because I don¡¯t actually believe the bullshit I just typed. Looking at the clock, he sees that it is 3:45. In his anger he decides to head to the auditorium to see if Dr. Amla could honestly believe that he did not do what she had asked. Leaving his dorm it was as if he was the only one there. Even though he passed crowds of people it was as if they didn¡¯t even exist. He knew his anger was irrational, but he couldn¡¯t stop his steps. Even though it was a sunny day all Liam saw was red. Subconsciously what he was doing made no sense to him. He has never been one to confront anyone and this is something that didn¡¯t even matter. Even though he realized all of that his feet kept moving and he couldn¡¯t stop. In the corner of his eye he notices something red in a bush on the way. Trying to shift his mind into anything that might distract him from whatever state he was in. Still, he is unable to stop and continues on. Getting to the auditorium Liam sees Dr. Amla heading to her car. He quickly approaches and in a stern voice tells her to say exactly what she wants him to do. Was this what this was all about? Liam realized he hasn¡¯t been put in a situation that would force him to defend something he didn¡¯t even believe in, that this must be why he acted so erratically. Dr. Amla turns around confused and off guard, she could see that he had something on his mind. She asks Liam to take a seat with her at a nearby bench to chat about this. At the bench she explains that, like his old paper said, anyone can say they are this or that when they aren¡¯t. Her example she used was ¡°You didn¡¯t write a paper as Aristotle, you wrote it as someone who has studied Aristotle¡± Liam said nothing as he knew she was right. Even though he tried hard, he didn¡¯t complete the task he set out to do. This is the first that has happened for as long as he could remember. If he put his mind to something, it always got done. Dr. Amla walked away and Liam stayed sitting at the bench trying to comprehend that actions he just took. Something so minute made him lose all control. He has always been one to keep his composure, even in situations that would be better for him to lose it. Liam stayed at the bench thinking until it got dark. By the end, he chalked it up to a lack of sleep mixed with being stressed out. Heading back to his dorm he sees a fox hiding in a bush. Standing there staring at it, he sees himself in the fox. Hiding, waiting for things to pass by so he can go on his way. Not knowing what could come up in the future or how long something might be in the way. That fox is all he thought about the rest of the night. A Foggy Mind Monday came and Liam still had no idea what he could do to his thesis to have Dr. Amla accept it. His other classes don¡¯t call for much of his attention which he is thankful for because this is something he is really finding difficult. After his classes for the day, Liam heads to the library to look up sample theses online. The biggest difference I see is that these theses do not give leeway for their topics. Every one of them states the topic and give no room for interpretation. Liam found this interesting - he was never really an assertive person, but after his recent outbreak it¡¯s clear something is changing. Liam sat at the computer with a blank word document open for quiet some time. Everything he started to type he hated. Either it was, as he felt, too mean or not to the point he wanted to make. He has always been a believer that people can change. He felt he was starting to and yet still couldn¡¯t convey his thoughts into a feasible thesis. For some reason his mind felt foggy. Maybe if I take a walk I¡¯ll be able to think things clearly and be able to write. After hours of walking he still couldn¡¯t ponder where his thoughts were. Am I changing what I believe? Why else wouldn¡¯t I be able to write this. Every paper I ever had to write just came naturally to me and I thought my first thesis was the same. The more he thought the more he walked until eventually he didn¡¯t recognize his surroundings. He could see the forest which his dorm was bordering but no buildings or signs to lead him there. I¡¯ll just head back the way I came. He turned around and couldn¡¯t remember which direction he came from. He looked all over and nothing was familiar. The woods are by the dorm I bet if I head straight into them, I will eventually wind up where I want. Hours of walking through the woods and no sign of the dorm made Liam start to panic. The sun was setting and there was very little light left in the day. He starts running trying to use whatever light he still had but it was useless. Getting winded Liam takes a break to catch his breath and hears rustling behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels something is about to happen. He quickly turns around to see a fox that starts to run away. Maybe this was the fox that was on campus, maybe if I follow it I will be lead back. Liam starts chasing the fox until he couldn''t see it anymore. While walking around trying to find it, it suddenly pops, seemingly, out of the ground. Heading that way he sees that it is a fox burrow. Dug perfectly out to keep the fox safe, something he wish he could do that moment. Foxes will bring items they find back to their burrow, maybe there will be a flashlight or something I can use to see. Liam knew this was a dumb thought but he was helpless. Reaching in the burrow he feels something metal. Excitedly he pulls it out quickly to see what he found. Liam sat there staring at what he just pulled out.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. A¡­ a gun. Why is there a gun? How would a fox find a gun? Every bad thought suddenly rushed into Liam¡¯s head. Was this used in a crime? Are all of my fingerprints on it now? His head jerked up as he hears something or someone in the distance. Quickly he threw down the firearm, back where he found it and took off as fast as he could. I¡¯ve never shot a gun, I have never even held a gun. Why is it causing me so much fear now that I have? Seeing a light in the distance Liam darts towards that direction and finds himself back on campus. He heads to his dorm trying to cope with the event that just happened. Why is there a gun¡­ why is there a gun¡­? What was the noise I heard? Was a person hiding it there and returning to get it or check on it? Did whatever it was see me? Too nervous to sleep he layed in his bed staring at the ceiling. Suddenly the door shot open and Liam let out a scream. He looked at the door. Standing there was his roommate and a couple girls now staring at him. He apologizes and makes up an excuse of reading a scary book. He knew they wouldn¡¯t actually believe that but he couldn¡¯t care less about that. After a couple minutes of his roommate packing a pair of clothes they leave the room. His mind was forced into thinking about that gun. His father died from a stray bullet, fired by a hunter that was closer to town than he realized. He didn¡¯t even remember his father but still the tears flooded his eyes and started to run down his face. The past couple days have been so filled with emotion and a foggy mind that it all just hit him at once. Unable to control himself he let out a loud cry until he couldn¡¯t see through the tears. Knock knock. Liam still crying looked at the door and went up to it to see out the eye hole. Standing there is his RA. After gathering his composure and wiping his face, he opened the door. The RA could tell Liam was crying but that¡¯s not why he was there. He was letting him know the campus was on lock down because shots were fired earlier that day in the town only a couple miles away from the university. Liam closed the door without saying a word now even less able to keep his mind straight. Gun shots? Were they from¡­ from the gun I held¡­? All night he stared at the wall by his bed unable to fall asleep. He rolled over toward the window to see the sun was starting to rise. His mind has shut down. He couldn¡¯t think but at the same time he couldn¡¯t stop thinking. He put on his shoes and decided to see if the gun was still there. After wandering around the woods for an hour he sees the fox leaving his burrow for the day and ran up to the empty hole in the ground. It is still here. Thank God it is still here. But my fingerprints are still on it. What do I do? Liam took the gun and, a few meters over, dug a hole and buried the gun. He covered it up and prayed that no one ever finds it. He heads back to his dorm exhausted. The gun not being missing and now hidden by him gave him some relief from all the stress and thoughts. He got back to his bed, laid down, and fell asleep. Missing all of his classes for the day. Trying to spot a shift Liam, You did not show up for class and you know it is required to pass. I expect to see a doctors¡¯ note or something equivalent tomorrow or this will count as your only absence. Moreover, it has also been a bit since I¡¯ve seen one of your theses. I know we still have just over 2 weeks until it is due for a grade, but I highly recommend you don¡¯t put this off until the last minute. Your last couple submissions have not been up to par compared to what I know you have in you. You are a smart kid, Liam. I see your effort and that you work hard, unfortunately I give no leeway on this assignment. If it is not completed, you will not pass this course. Please email me with any questions of stop in my office, Professor Amla
Liam woke up to read this email. He slept for 17 hours, he was both physically and mentally exhausted over the night he had now more than a day prior. He looks at the clock and sees that professor Amla¡¯s office hours are going on for a little over an hour, maybe he can talk to her about what happened. Walking through the campus, Liam can¡¯t help but look over at the woods every other step. The thought of the gun, the fox, and the panicking from getting lost caused him more unnecessary anxiety than he already had. Everyone is outside, I guess the lock down isn¡¯t happening anymore. I wonder if they caught the shooter. Liam walks passed a trail that heads into the woods and a thought occurs. What if the noise I heard was someone walking on the trail? I should see if it goes near the burrow. Liam looks at the big clock tower in the middle of campus and sees he has time do go through the woods and then head to professor Amla¡¯s office. After a few minutes into the woods nothing is of recognition. He looks around and can¡¯t see where the burrow is. If the trail isn¡¯t close, what did I hear in the woods? Was it a person? Just my imagination? Liam heads out of the woods just in time to meet with Dr. Amla before she leaves for the day. As he is walking up to her office he sees another one of his classmates in her room. He was one of the kids that always acted out, one where you¡¯d think it was a high school class if you were just observing him. His face looked sad though, like something happened to him. Liam sat next to the door and listened in best he could. He couldn¡¯t make out every word but what he got from it was she was saying there was no way he could pass. The student spoke for a while, likely pleading her to let him make up an assignment or a test, but as time went on he kept talking. Suddenly the door opened up and the boy walked out and made eye contact with Liam. He didn¡¯t say a word, yet Liam could tell his efforts went in vein. Once Dr. Amla made up her mind, nothing could make her change her decision.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. Liam walks in to an apathetic look on the professors face, that situation clearly did not affect her in anyway. Liam I am glad to see you are okay. What can I do for you? Liam explained the night before her last class he could not sleep, and when he did finally get some sleep he ended up sleeping all day. Like the kid before, Liam just kept talking, trying to get any reaction out her or any read on what she was thinking. When he realized no emotion would be shown he moved on to his thesis. Telling her something traumatic happened in his life and he isn¡¯t able to focus on it at the moment. He says he will try to have another draft by the end of the week. Well, Liam, sleeping through a class is not a legitimate excuse to miss it. If it happens again you will go down a full letter grade. As for your thesis, I will be expecting one by the end of the week. It is not mandatory but I believe you need to start working on it. I am glad you are trying to write it though, I have so many students just turn it in when it¡¯s due and not have me check it beforehand, causing them to fail the class when I reject it. I know your first couple attempts weren¡¯t up to my standards, but I believe you will get there. You have done exceptional on every other assignment in the class. I will help you in any way I can. Professor Amla watched Liam leave her office. She sat there thinking about the recent exchanges she had with Liam. The outburst she saw at the auditorium was unexpected. She has never seen that side of him, though she didn¡¯t know him outside of class, she could usually read a person well. The outburst threw her for a loop. She locks up her office and heads to her car, but she can¡¯t help but feel worry that he will ambush her again, and she won¡¯t be able to calm him down the next time. She hurries to her car and drives home. Liam leaves the professor¡¯s office and heads out the building thinking what a waste of time that was. She was a little nicer than normal but why would she drop my grade a whole letter if miss another class. At least I won¡¯t lose my scholarship with just a letter grade. Failing this course is another story. The only way I can afford to go here is this full ride. Liam now can¡¯t even think about what happened prior. This thesis is what he is forced to think about, and it upsets him. He had something happen to him that he knew he needed to deal with, but this thesis is forcing his thoughts towards it. He held a gun, is he who he was? He was the same person - but didn¡¯t feel the same. Is this new entity he didn¡¯t expect or want all because of an item he held? How would that even make sense? Did I actually change just from holding a gun? It¡¯s not like I shot it, I¡¯m not even sure it had bullets in it. Walking passed the part of woods he exited makes him think that¡¯s truly when everything changed. In the woods he was Liam, but who is he now? After staring at the woods he looks down at the road ahead and there¡¯s the fox he related so much to. Laying in the gutter. Poor thing must have been hit by a car. Liam saw this and felt something he hasn¡¯t felt for a while, a pit in his stomach was forming and he didn¡¯t know what to do. He hurried back to his dorm to get away from everything. Once in his dorm he lays down and stares at the wall like on the night he couldn¡¯t sleep, the night before he felt different. Trying to think but everything felt foggy, blurry even. He sits up, grabs out a notebook, and starts trying to write a thesis to take his mind off of everything else. Another point of view Amber woke up to her roommate, Kate, playing music on her phone and singing along loud enough for the whole hall to hear. It¡¯s 8am, how is she even up right now? We were out until at least 3 last night, just let me get some sleep. Amber and Kate went to the same high school but never really talked. When they realized they were going to the same college they decided it would be better to room with each other rather than with strangers. Amber wasn¡¯t necessarily a ¡®goody-two-shoes.¡¯ Though she stayed out of trouble for the most part, she¡¯s had her bad side shown. She grew up in a wealthy family in a wealthy community, but no one ever seemed to pay attention to her. Her father was always at work and her mom was always going across the country to sell whatever the latest pyramid scheme was. Her family made a lot of money from the schemes so there was always an automatic hatred towards them. Since getting to college though, Katy would take her out at least 3 nights a week, normally more. Katy was that stereotypical college party girl. Some weeks she didn¡¯t come home for days. Amber¡¯s grades were starting to slip from going out so often, but she still did what Katy said. She didn¡¯t want to be alone. ¡°There¡¯s a party happening by one of the frats tonight, I hear a few people from our dorm are going.¡± Katy said to Amber, knowing Amber would go if she went. Why can¡¯t we just stay in, it¡¯s a weeknight¡­ but I also know better than to let her go alone. She got up for the day hours before her first class all because Katy wouldn¡¯t stop singing. After classes for the day, Amber always met Katy at the college mess hall for food. The entire time Katy would normally be on her phone but for some reason she was extra excited for the party that night. ¡°That one guy from the dorm I always try to run into is supposedly going. We have to try and meet him.¡± Amber just sat back and, in her head, rolled her eyes. Another guy Katy wants to meet. Either way this is why I would feel bad for not going with her. She always gets too messed up and needs to have somebody watch her or who knows what would happen. They get back for the dorm and start getting ready, the party wasn¡¯t for another few hours but Katy always had these pre-party rituals they had to go through. Leading up to the party Katy pulled out half a bottle of vodka she was hiding from the RA. It was the only kind she drank; it was blue and sugary and got old after the 3rd week in a row, but it is still the only kind she got. Katy took some shots easily while Amber had to choke it down like cough medicine ¨C trying not to throw up from the taste. The frats were not allowed to throw party¡¯s on campus so they would bring speakers in the woods and have it there in secrecy. They never gave the exact location, but they left little ground lights leading to it (and you could hear the music from an entire town away, so that helped.)If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. The party was winding down and Katy still didn¡¯t find the guy from the dorm. They start heading back to the dorm after an entire night of loud music and creeps asking to dance. While walking they see someone in the woods walking and Katy, drunk, thought it would be a good idea to go over and say hi. Amber tries to get her back on the path but there is no use. They get closure to the dark figure and realize it¡¯s the guy from the dorm they were looking for at the party, obviously way too drunk. Katy goes up to him and asks what he¡¯s doing, ¡°I¡­ I tried to go back bu..but I don¡¯t know how,¡± the guy said stumbling over every word. They ask him his name, Kane, and help him get back. ¡°W¡­ wait.. I think it.. it is this way. I heard someone over¡­ over in that way¡± They ignore him and walk him back. On the way they go to a 24/7 gas station on the edge of campus to get Kane some water. Katy drunk and flirting way too much offers for him to sleep in their room that night. Amber pulls Katy aside and tries to tell Katy she doesn¡¯t want a random guy in her room during the night, but Katy is too drunk to understand. They get back to the dorm and try to get Kane to follow but he just kept saying he needed clothes. They tried to reason saying it was just one night in the same dorm, but he still wanted to get clothes. He throws the door open and his roommate lets out a scream. They all stare at the boy in an awkward pause and the boy says he was reading a scary book. That¡¯s a lie, he¡¯s not even holding a book Amber thought to herself. The boy looked familiar, but she just wanted to get back to the room and finally sleep. Kane packs some clothes and they all leave the room. In the hallway they see the RA walking their way so they nervously try to act not drunk. He said there was a shooting to stay in our rooms the rest of the night, a couple miles away there was a shooting and they still couldn¡¯t find the person. They all get back to the room and Kane and Katy start making out. Amber rolled her eyes and just went to her bed and fell asleep. Amber wakes up the next morning to the guy leaving the room. She could barely remember the night. Brushing her teeth that morning she remember that a boy screaming. I wonder what made him scream. Why did he look familiar? Heading to her class the sun was too bright for her. She had a hangover and contemplated skipping, but if she wanted to maintain her grades she had to go. She gets to the class which is normally full but that day one of the desks was empty. That why the boy who screamed looked familiar! He is in this class with me. Amber pulled out her notebook that had a dove on it as the professor, Dr. Amla, started to take attendance.