《Alter's Aburd Escapades!》


 Ch. 1: Lets get started, shall we?

    "Its cold... why is it so cold? Wait, where am I?"


    The skeleton sits up. "Is this... a beach? How did I get here?"


    [Well, good morning, sunshine.]


    The skeleton looks around, paniced "Who said that? Whos there?!"


    [Calm down pal, Im a friend, well, more like your boss.]


    The skeleton looks confused. "My... Boss? Well, ok then. You''ve got a name, boss?"


    [No, you can simply call me Boss.]


    "Alright Boss, where am I?"


    [A beach, isnt it obvious?]


    "Well I can see that! But why am I here?"


    [Oh, you don''t remember? Thats a shame, well, how much do you remember? Whats your name?]


    "My name? Easy! Its..."


    [You don''t remember, do you?]Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    "...no."


    [Fine, I''ll tell you. Your name is Alter.]


    "Alter? Thats a wierd name. But ok. Why am I here?"


    [Simple, you''ve got a mission to complete.]


    "What kind of mission? I don''t understand."


    [Such trivial details are not important right now. All you need to know is that you need to head into town. It will be obvious when you get there.]


    "Alright, whatever you say boss." And thus, the skeleton stood up and looked around. "...Hey boss, which way is town?"


    [...]


    "Boss? You there? He''s gone? Just great... well, I''ll look around. Maybe I''ll find something."


    And thus, Alter was on his way, the first of many adventures.


    "Well, theres a brook over there leading to the ocean. Towns are always near fresh water! I''ll follow this brook until I the town!" Alter walked to the edge of the beach, and began to climb the small, moss covered cliff to reach the woods. "Huh, the undergrowth is to thick to follow the brook from the sides. Guess I''ll just wade through it! I can swim pretty well... at least, I think I can. Only one way to find out!"


    And with that, he jumped in to the brook. "Geez! This is freezing! But it looks like I swim! Let''s go!" He began swimming upstream. "Easy! Wait, is it just me, or is this current getting faster? Oh crap..." Suddenly, he was hit with a large wave of water, slamming him underwater, hitting his back at the bottom.


    Alter tried to swim back up, but he was caught on a rock. "Wait... am I wearing a hoodie?" It was true, he was wearing a bright, neon green hoodie, and unfourtunatly, the hood was trapped under a rock. "Crapcrapcrap, wait, i dont have lungs., I''m fine!"


    [Uh... no you''re not. Look behind you dingus.]


    "Oh look whos finally ba- wait what?" He turned around, only to be face to face with some sort of sparking, flaming green fish. "What the hell is that?"


    (End of Chapter One. Thank you for reading! This is my first real work, so please, feel free to leave some tips and critism about my work! Have a great day! :D)

 Things are about to get interesting

    "Goddamn it where is he!?" A man was desperately shouting at his monitor. "How the hell did we lose the captain! He was only down there a day!" He slammed his fist against the desk. "Did we underestimate the threat? Impossible! We knew everything!"


    Alter shouted in a gargled voice. "What the hell is that thing?!" Alter struggled to get away from this sparking fish monster that was attacking him, but could only get about 6 inches until his hood, still trapped under the rock, stopped him from going any further.


    [You know you can fight this thing right?]


    "No, for your information, I didn''t!"


    [Just reach into your pocket. You''ll find what you need there.]


    Alter kicked at the fish-thing. "Fine- is this a GUN?!" And with it, Alter had in his hands .45 magnum. "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT A FISH, UNDERWATER, WITH A GUN!?"


    [Just use it. Trust me.]


    Alter, with nothing else to use, fired his gun at the fish, and to his surprise, it fired! The bullet flew through the water like it was air, and slammed right into the side of the fish. It roared (well roared for something the size of a fish), and crummbled away, leaving only a small, glowing green ball where it once was.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    [You need to grab that.]


    "Why do I need to grab the weird object that came out of the thing I just killed?"


    [Its your job.]


    "Really? My job is to collect these orbs?"


    [Yeah. Among other things. You also need to kill everything that drops them.]


    "Mind telling me why?"


    [You''ll know soon enough, for now, focus on getting out of the river.]


    "Oh crap! That''s right!" Alter pushed the rock that held him down, then promptly floated back to the surface. "This sucks! I hate this job!" Alter grabbed a low hanging tree branch to pull himself out of the water and back onto land.


    [Actually, you quite liked this job.]


    "And how the hell was I supposed to know that! You said yourself I lost my memories!"


    [Then why are you doing this? I''m just a voice telling you what to do. You could ignore me and leave.]


    "Thats... true. Why am I doing this? Do I actually enjoy this job?"


    [No time for introspection, look over there, smoke! The towns nearby! Hurry!]


    "What? Really?" Alter quickly spotted the smoke and began to sprint towards it. "Let''s go!"


    [Wait! Hold on! There''s one last thing I need to tell you.]


    Alter jogged to a stop. "What is it? And while you''re at it, tell me anything else I need to know."


    [That gun you''re holding, it doesn''t have unlimited ammunition. You''ll need to reload it. Its a 6 round cylinder , and you''ve got 5 rounds in it. You''ve only got about 30 extra bullets. They''re in your pocket by the way. So be conservative.]


    "Well, okie dokie then. Do I have any other weapons? Something that doesn''t need bullets?"


    [Yes, but you''ll find out about that soon, for know, get to the village.]


    "I don''t like how vague you are." Alter continues his sprint to the village, and it soon becomes obvious what is causing the smoke. He could hear screams coming from the village.


    "Well son of a b*tch."

 Here comes the big bad!

    "Oh god, What the hell happened here!" The village was practically burned to the ground, with almost no houses left stands, and the ones that were, were burned horribly. "And what the hell are those things!" Alter pointed to large suits of armor, crackling with green sparks.


    [Those? Those are your targets. You need to clear this village out.]


    "All by myself? Are you crazy? Thats impossible!"


    [You''ve got this. You have your weapon right?]


    "Yeah, but how good is a gun gonna be against metal!"


    [Trust me. You can handle this, oh, and look out.]


    One of the suits of armor noticed Alter and was rushing him, swinging a large greatsword. "Oh crap!" Alter began firing at the armor, the bullets denting the armor. "Its not working!"


    [Keep firing.]


    "I''m out of bullets!"


    [Then reload.]


    Alter jumped over the swinging blade and run behind a tree, tryong to reload his revolver. He just barely loaded the sixth bullet when the sword slashed the tree he was hiding behind. Alter took this chance to fire at the armor, peircing the armor. The armor frose in place, before falling apart. The sword itself began to shine, then is vanished, leaving a small card in its wake.


    [I would pick that up if I were you.]


    Alter grabbed the card and inspected it. "The Emporer? Wait, this is a tarot card."


    [Yes. The sword itself was the card in the hands on the armor. The card is yours now.]


    "What am I supposed to do with it?"


    [You''ll see. Just focus on taking out the rest of the armor. There should be about... 18 left in total.]This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    "You''ve got to be kidding me."


    [I''m not joking, though, I should tell you. Aim for the spots between the armor, that will take them out in one shot.]


    "WHY DIDN''T YOU TELL ME SOONER!?!?!"


    [You didn''t ask. Now, focus on the task at hand.]


    "Ugh... you''re the worst." Alter ran back to the village. He spotted a set of armor attacking some villagers. He took aim and fire a shot right between the helmet and the chest plate, right into the side of its neck. It fell to peices. The villager ran away into the forest, speeding past Alter. "They seem to be gathering in the center of the village."


    [Keen eye there. Hurry.]


    Alter breezed bast other suits of armor, taking all of them out in one shot each. "Almost of of bullets. Gotta be carefull.


    Alter reached the village square, but instead of seeing a horde of armor, he saw piles of armor, and a man, cloaked in black. "Well that was easy." He turned to face Alter, his faced covered in what looked like a modern gas mask, with the visor blacked out. "What took you so long? I''ve been waiting here for a good hour."


    Alter glared at the man. "Who the hell are you?"


    "You don''t remember me? After all we''ve been through? Oh, I get it now. So it happened again?"


    "What are you talking about?"


    The man sighs. "My name is Vers. And I''m here to finish the job I started." Vers reached out his hand. "Arcana! Tarot 13: D E A T H!!!"


    Suddenly, a large, black sythe, which seemed to be made of a black mist, manifested in Vers'' hand.


    "What the hell?!" Alter fired his remaining bullets at Vers, but he simply sidestepped the shots and rushed him. "You''re finished!"


    Suddenly, time seemed to slow as a small voice spoke to Alter."hehehe, you''re in a pickle, now arn''tcha?" Alter looked around.


    "Who are you?"


    "You''re not to bright, are you? No matter though, with me, you won''t need brains. Come on, you know who I am!"


    "...! I see, well, are you ready?"


    "Arcana! Tarot 0! The Fool!" His gun shone with a green light. "Mimicry! Tarot 4! The Emporer!" The gun morphed into the same Greatsword as before, and it blocked Vers'' sythe.


    Vers yelled. "The hell! Its no matter however, I know how to use my Arcana to is fullest! DISPAIR!"


    Suddenly, Alter was filled with an overwhellming sense of dread. "The hell-"


    Vers kicked Alter in the gut, sending him flying. Alter hit the side of a house, and slammed into it''s brick wall, knocking him out. Vers walked over to Alter''s unconcious body. "Too easy. You''re worthless like this. Goodbye, Alter." Vers raised him sythe.


    "Arcana! Tarot 9! The Hierophant!" Suddenly Vers was struck in the back by large blast. He turned around, only to be decked in the face by a young boy, clad in a orange space suit. "Get away from the captain!"


    Vers fell back. "Well Alter, looks like your friends have shown up. Well, time for me to go." Vers lept though a summoned warp, and vanished.


    The young boy knelt over Alter. "Geez captain, what happened to you?"

 Welcome back, captain!

    "...Where am I?"


    Alter awoke in a small, futuristic room. With metal walls and photos hung by tape on the opposite wall. Alter sat up and noticed that those were photos of him, with some young kid with short brown hair.


    "I don''t know where I am, but the waking up in an unfamliar place with my wounds tended is incredibly clique."


    Suddenly, the sound of a door opening could be heard. Alter, not sure where he even was, grabbed his weapon and hid on the top bunk.


    "Yo! Captain! I''ve got some breakfast!" The same young boy walked in, holding a bowl of bright colored cereal. "Captain? Where are you?"


    The boy began looking through the room, before looking in the top bunk, to be met face-to-face with the barrel of Alter''s gun. "Who are you? Where am I?"


    Scared, the boy flung backwards of the ladder, spilling the cereal all over the floor. "Captian! Calm down! Its me Anom!"


    "And I''m supposed to know you?"


    Anom looked shocked. "Have you lost your memories or something? We''ve been working together for the last 3 years!"


    "Well, I don''t remember you at all! I don''t remember anything!"Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    "Wait, so you have lost your memories."


    "Aparently!"


    "Well, thats not good. If the council finds out your unfit for work, we both will be decomishioned."


    "I have no idea what you''re talking about."


    Anom started pacing. "This is fine, this is fine. I REALLY hope you can still act."


    "What are you talking about!?!"


    Anom grabbed Alter. "Listen to me. If the council finds out you''ve lost your memories, we''re both dead. They''ll be calling any minute, so get ready."


    "Hold on! You''ve told me nothing!"


    A beeping noise could be heard comming from the other room. "That''s them! Hurry! Let''s go!" Anom forced Alter into the main room, which was decorated in numerous posters and futuristic furnature.


    Anom forced Alter in front of a large screen and hit a flashing button. "Wait! I sti- Hello sirs!"


    The screen displayed a group of people, blacked out so you were unable to see there features. "Good evening, Captian. How did the extermination go today? Did you encounter any trouble?"


    Alter began to sweat. "Not at all! Easy job!"


    "Captain, are you alright? You''re sweating."


    "Y-yeah! I''m fine! ACs on the fritz, but we''re working on fixing it right as we speak."


    "Good to hear captain. The credits for the mission have already been transfered to the account. Keep up the good work." The screen faded to black.


    Alter fell to his knees and exhaled. "NOW. EXPLAIN."


    Anom helped Alter back up. "Well, let me put it like this. We are officially known as the CleanUpTeam. C.U.T, we would have gone with Clean Up Crew, but that wasn''t, well, you get the idea. Our job is to complete the jobs sent to us by the council."


    "Exposistion machine much."


    "What?"


    "Nothing. Wait, I''m a skeleton. Why am I sweating?"


    "Oh, thats right. You dont remember. You see you''re-"


    Without warning, a loud blast shook the ship.


    "What the hell?!"

 Alright, Im off to bed.

    [Hey, I''m no rocket scientist or anything, but I''m sure that spaceships don''t normally explode.]


    "Oh, you THINK?!?"


    Alter and Anom were sprinting down the hall, towards the source of the explosion.


    Anom looks especially worried. "ohcrapohcrapohcrap, please oh god tell me it did''nt happen again!"


    "Wait? Are we under attack?"


    "Worse!" They turn the corner. "The boilier burst again! Now we won''t have hot water for weeks until we can land and get it fixed."


    The boiler room''s floor was covered is water. Anom was scrambling for a pile of towels that were sitting on a shelf.


    "...Really? All of that panic, for some cold showers?"


    "You have no idea how much it sucks to have to shower cold."


    "Actually, I do! I was stuck in a river- Wait. Hold on a second, I have no skin, no organs, but I was still able to feel the temprature of the water. How is that possible? In fact, how am I still alive?"


    "Oh, that? Thats easy. You''re a polymorph. A shapeshifter."


    [Hmm, is it just me or does that explanation feel forced? Like a novice author is trying to include a vital piece of information, yet is unable to think of a natural way to show it.]If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    "Shut-up."


    [Whatever.]


    "Well, I''m going to bed. Today was wierd, and I''d rather just sleep than think about it." Alter lets the boiler room, leaving Anom to look over the mess.


    Alter walked back into the bedroom and got in the bed he assumed was his, since that''s where Anom put him.


    It was about a good twenty minutes before Alter finally fell asleep.


    [Well, I''m glad we can finally meet face to face.]


    Alter shot up, to be greeted by a pure white figure standing over him.


    "GAH!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!?!"


    [Oh, I''m Boss. I guess me speaking to you doesn''t really show you what I look like. I apologize for that.] The Boss held out his hand to Alter.


    Alter grabbed the hand with hesitation. "Alright, mind telling me where I am? Or am I gonna figure out about that soon?"


    [Don''t worry, I''ll tell you. We''re in your mind.] The Boss tapped his head.


    "My what?" Alter looked around at the pale blue enviroment. The ground reflected the sky like a mirror and there seemed to be now walls in sight. "Is this a dream? Can I, like, control this place?"


    [To a degree, yes.]


    "Oh hell yeah!" Alter then lept forward, only to come face-to-face with the ground.


    [I did say to a degree]


    "Screw you." Alter stood up. "So, what CAN I control here?"


    [Oh, you can manipulate the enviroment and summon enemies. You could say this is somewhat of a training room.}


    "And how does one do that exaclty?"


    {Just focus. Picture it in your mind. It''s that simple.]


    Alter then looked in the distance, and imagined a tall pillar. And as if my magic, a tall pillar rose from the earth. "Whoah!"


    "Whoah indeed. Now, summon that card you grabbed earlier, the one the armor dropped.


    Alter reached into his pocket and pulled out the Emporer card.


    "Now, toss it onto the ground."


    Alter tossed the card to the ground and watched it fall. When it landed, it began to shine, and the same armor that dropped it manifested in it''s place.


    "What the- Give me warning next time!"


    [Worry, it wont attack you until it you attack it.]


    "Good to know. So, can I, like, actually go to sleep? Cause I still feel tired as all get out."


    [Just focus. That easy.]


    Alter closed his eyes and envisioned him asleep. Then, like someone turing a light off, Alter fell asleep.

 Lets get back to work!

    Alter awoke to the sound of beeping. "Ugh... Did I have an alarm clock?"


    Anom came into the room. "Actually, you''ve got a message from the council. Good morning, by the way."


    Alter sat up and stretched. "Good morning." Alter got out of bed as Anom left the room. Alter put on a white t-shirt and went into the main room. "I can assume I''m supposed to push the red, blinking button?" Alter pushed a button on the glass-like surface. With a loud beep, an image of the Council was displayed.


    "Good morning Captain. We noticed that you were on your way back to the central city. When you get there we need you to handle a situation occuring in the square." A map digitally manifested, displaying the location of the square with a red dot. "This is nothing more than a case of a couple rouge tarots. You will recieve the normal payment when the tarots are taken care of. Good luck, captain." The message ended with a beep.


    Alter scratched the back of his neck and headed to the cockpit, where Anom was piloting the ship. "Hey Anom, I''ve got a question for you."


    "What''s up Captain?"


    "Who are the Council? They seem pretty important. They seem to be our boss too."


    "The Council? Uh..." Anom thought for a moment. "Well, The Council is basically the group that runs things. Their influence speads everywhere. They control governments as fars as distant galaxies."If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "They just seem to be some guys in a dark room. How are they so powerful?"


    "They also have control over Prophets, us. They require Prophets to register with some database, then use us as they see fit. They used a whole army to take over. But don''t get the idea that they''re evil or anything. They are not all bad."


    "They sound pretty bad to me."


    "True, but in recent years they''ve become more lax. They use more diplomatic methodes nowadays. Most Prophets lead normal lives in central. And some, like us, work commision for the Council."


    "Cental, that''s where we''re headed right?"


    "Actually, we''re here already. Take a look." Anom pushed a button on the control panel and a window cover slid open, revealing a large and vast futuristic city, with many skyscrapers along the skyline, with the most eyecatching being a large building, clearly the largest by far, with no windows at all.


    "Whats with that one? The scary looking building with no windows?"


    "That? Thats the citidel, the building that houses the council itself."


    "Damn, they sure are egotistic. Anyway, how long until we land? We''ve got a job from the Council to take care of some trouble in the square, whatever and wherever that is."


    "Don''t worry, I''ll get us there after I get the ship docked at the guild so they can fix that boiler. We''ll be on the ground in about twenty minutes."


    "Alright, I''m gonna go get some food."


    "Gotcha captain. Cereals in the cubbord over the fridge."


    ______________________________________________________________


    Vers sat on a bed in what seemed to be a dimmly light hotel room, talking on the phone. "Central? Why, I''m already here! Where is he gonna be? The square? Within the hour. Perfect, I''ve seen the news, you got me some toys to play with. Don''t worry, he doesn''t remember a thing. I promise you, he''ll be taken care off." Vers hung up and set the phone down on the bed. "Ready or not Alter, cause here I come."