《Elven Rebirth》


 Prologue

    "Welcome to the afterlife, &%$#@?¡Æ?." A voice spoke. My eyes struggled to open, and it took me a while to realize I had no eyes to begin with.


    Then, the strange words registered in my mind. Huh. So I finally kicked the bucket... About time, honestly. Lying in a hospital bed, utterly unable to move and only capable of drooling wasn''t very fun.


    "I suppose it wasn''t. The fact that, even in your death bed, you still insisted on forcing your dying mind to learn was impressive." The voice spoke again. I tried to ''look'' around, but all I could see was darkness.


    The voice felt female, though, so there was that at least. "Was it, though? You should have read that book, it was mighty interesting. Written by a very talented author, might I add." I responded, a bit unsure but also rather relaxed. After all, what was the worst that could happen? I was already dead, and I was fairly sure I wasn''t daydreaming.


    Even if I was, I had nothing to lose by being polite.


    A charming and very feminine giggle resounded within my mind. "You don''t indeed. You''re a very interesting mortal, you know?" The voice said. I raised a non-existent eyebrow at that.


    "Thank you, miss not-a-mortal. I do enjoy privacy though, so please do refrain from stalking me... Unless you''re my imagination, in which case, feel free." I shot back, fully expecting to either be erased from existence, wake up, or get laughed at.


    Suprisingly, it was the third option. The woman''s chortles were akin to church bells going off, if that was even possible. I would have loved to see the woman in person, but that didn''t seem to be happening.


    "Oh, my bad, I forgot to explain. You died, as you seem to know already. Normally, your soul would get shipped off to the reincarnation cycle of your local universe, and that would be the end of it, however... I''ve been keeping an eye on your world for a bit, and you caught my interest, so I caught you and brought you over to my place instead." The voice explained, answering exactly zero of my questions.


    Oh well. I was grateful enough for still being himself, so I didn''t particularly care if the woman made no sense.


    "I... I see. I feel it obligatory to ask of you not to consume my soul, I can promise you I''m not very tasty." I said after a bit, breaking the silence that had descended. The voice didn''t answer for a bit, probably stunned by my sudden ''promise''.


    Then, the voice giggled once more. "Don''t worry, I don''t eat souls... Well, maybe the reeeaaally naughty ones, but those are exceptions, I promise." I wasn''t really reassured, but again, I kind of had nothing to lose, so... whatever?


    "A-anyways, moving on, how would you feel about reincarnation? It would be in a world full of magic, monsters, heroes, etcetera." The voice suddenly said. I paused my train of though for a bit, mulled over the question, and then metaphorically shrugged.


    "Sure." I responded. The voice seemed taken aback by my quick and easy answer, but she quickly resumed speaking.


    "Oh. Ok then. Um... Here, read through this, I guess. It''s all the options available to you, but I have to warn you, you only have a limited amount of points to spend." The voice quickly explained. A flashing screen abruptly appeared in front of my vision, a plethora of tiny options with varying costs on it.


    "Oh, thank you. Hm... May I ask for your name while I scroll through this?" I asked her as I started going through everything. I had 1200 points, neatly listed on the top right corner of the strange screen that seemed to answer to my will as it scrolled up and down from my thoughts alone.


    "Well... I go by many names, but my favorite one is Arya, Goddess of Wisdom." The voice rambled, quickly breaking off into a tangent about how she wasn''t ''just'' a goddess of wisdom, but how her domain encompassed so much more and yadda yadda.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    I kind of zoned her out as I hungrily eyed all the sweet, sweet options on the menu. It was kind of neat, honestly. If I bought nothing at all, I would be reborn as the son of a peasant farmer with no future, something that didn''t appeal to me too much.


    I scrolled through the list, making mental notes of the few things that interested me. However, when I reached a particular section, I stopped.


    "Oh my... Hey, Miss Arya, would you mind explaining to me why elves are a thing? It says here that they have extreme lifespans and also very high ''magical'' affinity. May I know what the latter means?" I asked. Arya paused her rambling which had mostly become a self-pity fest, and she perked up... Or at least I thought she did, judging from her tone of voice alone.


    "Oh, yes, yes. My apologies. Well, magic is just a big word meaning all the arts and schools related to the study of mana, a sort of energy omnipresent within my world. It allows people to make the seas part, create lightning by glaring, and also make fireballs. There''s a lot more than that to it, but I won''t spoil too much..." The voice trailed off as she realized I''d stopped paying attention, having concentrated upon the menu once more.


    I ignored her light huff, instead mulling over my options. Buying the ''elf package'', so to speak, seemed to grant a lot of benefits over buying a bunch of individual human boons. After a bit of thought and more exploring, I decided to buy it.


    Just like that, I went down to 800 points. 1/3 of my life savings, gone just like that... A worthy investment, if I may say so myself!


    My eyes paused, however, as a small section abruptly unlocked following my purchase. I stared at it blankly, and Arya seemed to notice my stare, despite not even being visible to me.


    "Oh, yeah. The gender troll thing. Just ignore it, I mean, I know switching genders gives you points, but it was set up, like, millions of years ago as a joke, so--... Or you can do that, I guess. I''m not judging." She backpedaled as I pressed the ''female'' option.


    "Oh, thank you. I do not fancy myself a pervert, you see, but the option of being able to explore the world as a different gender, see all the benefits and difficulties that come with it... It sounds delicious. I am so very curious to see what it would be like... Besides, the extra points certainly sweeten the deal." I explained to the poor goddess, eyeing my points as they shot back up to 1000. Sweet, sweet points... I could technically buy either 5 minor boons, or two major ones. Choices, choices...


    I scrolled through everything at least twice, silently considering my options while asking Arya a few questions. She mostly just said basic things that I could have guessed even without her, but I suppose it wouldn''t do for me to look at the gift horse in the mouth.


    In the end, I decided upon three things. Two minors and one major.


    "Oh my... Interesting choices, mortal, but I suppose I should have seen at least that one coming." Arya said, her voice coming out of nowhere and startling me a bit.


    "Are you referring to this one? The Blessed Eyes?" I asked her. She hummed positively, not saying anything else, so I just shrugged and got back to finalizing my choices.


    The blessed eyes were my major choice, and boy did they sound amazing. The description said they would help me unravel the mysteries of anything I looked at, along with improved memory. Truly a fitting choice for a scholar such as myself.


    My next two options were the much less impressive Magic Talent and Greater Mana Reserves. Both were fairly self-explanatory, although magic talent did cost around 300 while greater reserves only cost 200, which was fair, I supposed.


    I finalized my two choices, watching as the menu faded away. Arya''s voice drifted in my ears, a sliver of expectations hidden in her melodic voice. "Say... Before you head off... How about I give you a small offer? Of course, you are free to refuse, but I promise you''ll love it..."


    I blinked, metaphorically of course, but still. "I have a choice in this?"


    The chocking sound that came next wasn''t quite expected, but pleasant nonetheless. After a few moments, Arya giggled a bit, although it did sound a bit strained. "Of course you do, mortal. I may have taken you away for my amusement, but I do not wish to do things against your will. Anyways, my offer would be for you to receive my personal blessing, and in exchange, you only need to occasionally pray to me and do a few things for me when I ask. I promise they won''t be too much of a hassle."


    I reflected upon her offer for a bit before accepting. She had done quite a lot for me, after all. Getting a second life would have been impossible without her, after all.


    I got the feeling that she was beaming at me now. "Perfect. Well... I hope you enjoy your life. Oh, and do remember, beware the heroes. They''re somewhat... annoying. Byeee!" Her voice faded away as my consciousness blurred, and before long, I had returned to nothingness.


    What an odd goddess, was my last conscious thought.

 Chapter 1

    Giants holstered me up, speaking to each other in a language foreign to me. My whole body ached from the horrifying ordeal I''d just been forced to go through, and honestly, my respect for both newborns and women had just gone up by about a thousand percent after this experience.


    My eyesight was off, although it wasn''t too unusual for me. After all, I''d had a pretty bad prescription for my glasses back before I died. Still, I suspected that now, it had more to do with the fact I''d just been reborn rather than any faulty eyeballs.


    Nonetheless, this didn''t stop me from observing the adults crowding around me, tending to both myself and the horribly pale woman I''m fairly sure I''d just been pushed out of... Although, judging from the fact that everyone around me had the same skin color as her, I''m confident it had more to do with her race rather than any real bodily stress or worry.


    After a minute or two of catching her breath, my new mother looked over at me, softly saying something that I could not understand, but nonetheless caught the meaning of her words. Reaching out her hands, she stared at me with tired, yet eager eyes.


    I was promptly handed over to her, my unresponsive body barely capable of moving on its own... Not that I wanted to, of course. I''d been wrapped up in a blanket immediately following my birth, but her body heat was still nice.


    I didn''t know if I was acting passably enough for a baby, but judging from the lack of pitchforks and screams calling me a demon, I felt confident enough, so I allowed myself to indulge in a tiny bit of sniffling and whimpering as I clutched my new mother. I needed to vent a bit after such a traumatic experience, after all.


    "Hen est- will n- Asheria" Mother suddenly spoke as she reached down with her head and gently put her lips onto my forehead. I blinked a bit at the strange action, excitement welling up within me. So many new things to learn, so much knowledge so close to my grasp.


    But, before I could access that knowledge, I was promptly forced to meet something I''d rather not. Face, meet breast.


    Instincts took over, and before long, I was falling asleep with a full belly, my body hanging uselessly within my new mother''s embrace as she spoke silently with the few other people still remaining in the room.


    I wanted to try and decipher their language, but I understood that this wasn''t the time for that. My thoughts felt dull, and my eyes struggled to stay open. Before I even knew it, I was asleep once more, my desires evidently not enough to overpower the babyish need for napping.


    <hr>


    Cute chubby baby reporting in. I will have to regretfully admit that, as of right now, my life is boring beyond belief, as it probably is for any humanoid creature that just left the womb. After all, there isn''t very much one can do when you can''t even stand up straight.


    I currently reside within what I would like to call a baby crib, but honestly, I don''t know if it can be called as such. It''s essentially a bunch of tree roots tied together with a soft mattress at the bottom for me to waddle uselessly on.


    Beyond that, my world revolves around sleeping, pooping and pissing myself, drinking milk, and occasionally being babbled at by the woman who had the gruesome task of birthing me.


    It was a lonely existence. I had yet to see the man who should be my father, but then again, I doubt it had been more than a week since I was born. Maybe elves had a tradition akin to that of the people of old, where children and mothers were isolated from the rest of the world for a few months to avoid infections?


    ... I doubted it, but it was possible. Maybe I had an absentee father, who knows. I certainly didn''t.


    Anyways, since I had so few things to focus on, I adapted by focusing on said few things to an obscene level. For starters, my mother.


    She looked exactly like the stereotypical elf I imagined. Pale skin, silvery hair, and ears much longer than any normal humans should have without medical surgery. Her features were sharp, and her breasts suprisingly small for a mother. Why did I care about her breasts? Because I was literally forced to suckle on them four times a day. It was annoying.


    Beyond that, she conducted herself like an aristocrat. Her steps were light yet filled with purpose, and even when she babbled at me, there was always a dignified air behind her words. Also, she dressed funny.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    And by funny, I mean that, except for when she birthed me, she was always walking around in medieval-looking armor. I had no idea why she did so, but the sheer difference compared to my own ideas and prejudices of how one should dress excited my cultural thirst.


    Other than that, our house was suprisingly small. Although I couldn''t move beyond my crib, my mother made it a point of hers to always carry me around whenever she was in the house. It was horribly scary to be so reliant on another person to the point of being unable to clean your own poop, but I''ll admit that I might have enjoyed it a bit whenever she swung me around a bit, as my excited screeches whenever mother did that might point out.


    A-anyways, our house. It''s small, it''s homely, and I love it. Not much else to say on the interior of it, but the outside is a different story. We were surrounded on all sides by trees, and although I was only able to take a peek once, I saw houses holstered upon trees or houses made directlyfrom trees.


    The tree-hugger stereotype for the elves wasn''t wrong, I suppose. Or maybe it wasn''t, who knows. I only had very limited exposure to elven culture so far, after all.


    However, this changed during the eight dayof my new life. It started off as any other morning had so far, with me screaming my throat raw until mother dearest got her armored ass over to my crib and stopped the gnawing pain in my stomach.


    The poor woman stumbled down the stairs from her bedroom on the floor above, her usually perfect hair now resembling more of a rat''s nest than anything else. She blinked a bit before shaking her head, sighing loudly. With one hand, she pointed at her hair, and after a snap of her fingers, they uncurled and unbound themselves and automatically arranged themselves neatly.


    I stopped screaming, my eyes going wide in wonder and curiosity. I stared at her now perfect hair once more, letting out an ''ooooh'' sound. I would have clapped too, but I was too busy staring.


    Mother smirked haughtily before giggling at the cute faces I was making. She picked me up and, after quickly unlatching the upper part of her armor, shoved my face into her breast. Ah, yes. Milk. My best friend and worst enemy, all wrapped up in a bundle of fat and tissues.


    Still... This was my first time witnessing anything that could be called ''magic'', and it was in the form of an automatic hair-fixer... Magic is awesome. I want it so I never have to worry about the state of toilets in this world, if for no other reason.


    "Gaa! Gaaa!" I cried happily, waving my arms around after my meal had finished. I was excited, ok? Don''t judge me. Mother shushed me gently, patting my head while she bounced me a bit. She walked around the house, doing small chores here and there


    Then, her ears perked up. Literally, it was almost as though she was a dog. Her head swiveled to the side as a small smirk rose on her face. She didn''t quite run, but she certainly walked faster as she headed over to the main door of the house.


    She blabbered to me a bit, but it was clear to me she was talking to herself more than she was to me. Nonetheless, I listened and tried to learn as much as I could, as I always did.


    When we reached the door, she yanked it open, jumping upon the very pretty man standing in front of it. The man barely had any time to react before he was violently pulled in for a kiss, one that he didn''t take long to reciprocate with just as much eagerness as mother.


    Well, I guess that buries the theory that my father was dead. No tragic back-story then, unfortunately.


    It took a while for the two lovers to disentangle themselves from each other, and when they did, they only took a moment to breathe before going at it again. I was being held uncomfortably, being squished against mother''s side, and thus, for as much as I wanted to leave them to it, I was kind of starting to hurt.


    I squealed a bit, causing my two supposed parents to jump away from each other. The man''s eyes immediately landed on me, a stunned look emerging on his masculine yet also somewhat feminine face.


    Mother grinned widely, pushing me into the man''s arms without warning. The poor man awkwardly grabbed me, eyeing me with wide eyes, as though I would eat him. Smart man, he should fear me. My toothless gums can bite harder than anyone would expect!


    Jokes aside, mother reached forward and entered the man''s embrace, effectively sandwiching me between them. They kissed once more, much more subduedly this time, before she reached down and kissed my head, mumbling something I couldn''t understand against my skull.


    "Hen est- na- Asheria. He''s c¨ªn -iel, meld." Mother said. I couldn''t understand what she said any more than I could previously, and yet, I''m fairly sure she just said my name.


    I''m not sure how I know that, but I do. The man''s eyes widened even more, and then, they relaxed. His lips curled up too, and he rested his lips on my head as well. Was that some sort of elven symbol for affection? Hell if I know, maybe they''re just weirdos.


    "Asheria..." He mumbled, a smile rising to his lips. Yup, that''s my name, I''m pretty sure. It certainly doesn''t sound English, but I suppose it could have been worse. Like Tiffany. Who the hell wants to be named Tiffany?


    Before long, I was put back in my crib. Usually, mother would keep me around her for longer, but judging by how she was practically dragging the man upstairs, I''m fairly sure she had other ideas for how to spend the day.


    I wanted to cry a bit and get their attention... But eventually decided against it. I could deal with some alone-time, after all, I''d spent the majority of my previous life alone, a day or so more wouldn''t kill me. Besides, something told me mother had been extremely relieved at seeing the man I shall tentatively call father... Maybe he''d gone off to war or something equally dangerous?


    Oh well. Hopefully, elves use protection, because I really don''t want to deal with a bratty sibling.