《Diary of Discord》 Forward and Diary Entry #1 Forward This idea came to me today as I thought of the current state of affairs around the world and certain events in my own life. I am from the country, a small rural county that has not been that affected by Covid-19, but preceding this whole pandemic by a week my wife suffered a car accident that has temporarily disabled her. One bad event preceding another. Had we not had our house and land paid for, this would have been a death stroke for the family. So, hence was born the premise of the new work. A diary, following someone under a similar pandemic, that causes an economic and civil breakdown. It will be written like a diary, with as little grammatical corrections as possible and it will follow our protagonist as things progressively get worse. If you have ideas or would like to see events change, by all means, message, leave comments and I will gladly include them. I am going to try to do these entries on a daily basis and see where it goes. The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. Diary Entry #1 Tuesday, April 7, 2020 I am so excited! I get to stay on my new piece of land for the first time tonight. We have put a camper there, right in the middle of the 20 acres, beside the creek. I am not sure how I will sleep without the noise of the city but maybe I will be able to use the iPhone for some white noise in the background. It has been to many years since I have heard the night noises of the country and my children have never spent the night outside the walls of a house. Maybe the background noise will help them sleep too. My wife is worried about mosquitoes and snakes and here I am ready just not to have to worry about another human being within a mile of us. My boss does not want me to go this weekend. There is some kind of trouble brewing overseas with a new viral infection of some kind but I just tuned him out. We do, after all, live in the most advanced nation in the world, just through some antibiotics at it or something. I mean, why should I care. I have made sure my parents are taken care of in the nursing home and off we go. Nervous, Gilligans Island, no phones, no lights, no motor cars....well no ac at least. But best of luck to us. Diary Entry #2 Wednesday, April 8, 2020 We made it through the first night without too much incident. The drive out here with the children was a nightmare. Three hours in the car and one of them with no stops eh. Cassy had a migraine by the time we got here and had to take some percocet and lay down leaving me with the children. I think she did it just to escape for a few hours. Me and the children got the car unpacked and then decided on rounding up some wood for a cookout that evening. The children were ready to burst at the seams with excitement as they gathered firewood. There was just not too many opportunities when you live in Nashville for things like this and it makes me regret raising them there. Poor Nadley had a run in with her first red wasp. Luckily she is not allergic to them but to her five year old self, she thought she had been murdered. Of course, me at thirty-five would have been sitting on the ground, balling like a wounded child on a playground too. We gave her some benydryl and put her beside my snoring wife and now they are peas in a pod.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. The "cookout" ended up with me inhaling as much smoke as possible, no fire actually being started, and everything being cooked on the propane stove. Oh well, I guess this morning''s chore will be to watch some youtube videos on fire starting. It has been way too many years for me, since I have lived out here, but damn isn''t it nice to be back. My wife is already giving me long, sideways glares. She is from New York City and came to Nashville for the entertainment venues. She did not appreciate waking up without AC this morning, hell she would have took a fan. I had to explain to her that without more solar panels we could not recharge fast enough. She grumbled and mumbled something about a "damn bulldozer clearing a few acres would fix it." She might be on to something. But today''s activity does sound promising before we head back to Nashville, FISHING! Then it is back to the grind of work, but even in Nashville, we can continue to keep things going here. Maybe next time we can have some fans for Cassy. Diary Entry #3 Thursday, April 9, 2020 The business meeting felt like a crawl through razor wire this morning and now I feel like I am being punished. I got turned up for the trip to Japan for the annual programmers'' forum to someone with less than a year out of college. She has not even completed her internship but the Chip is still pissed at me for this weekend. I told him after that stunt it would be a regular gig to the property and we were even considering moving there on full-time bases. I know that is an empty threat as of right now. Cassy just started a new contract with her recent label and we have to stay somewhere near Nashville. It shut him up quick enough. Chip just said things were getting bad with a resurgence of MERS and it had managed to spread quickly this time. The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. I also got a call from Wes for a cancellation of our typical COD night Friday. His unit has been activated and ordered to report for muster. When I asked he said he was not allowed to comment. If there was nothing on the news, then there was nothing to tell. I hate to see him going out again. Danny started running a fever after we got home but it should not be anything to worry about. It was relatively well controlled with Motron. I am sure he will be fine. He was just as his irritating twelve-year-old self when I left. God, was I that moody as a child? I hope not, if so I feel so bad for my parents. Maybe getting him out of the city and into some open air and off the damnable twitter will do him some good. God, I hate social media. This weekend can''t get here quick enough. Diary Entry #4 Friday, April 10, 2020 It was a lonely trip this time. Danny was sent home from school when his fever climbed alarmingly. I picked him up after I got to his school, called Chip and telling him I could not return back to work. Danny looked awful, pale, sitting next to me and trembling with fever. The school nurse looked quite worried but said to take him home and call his physician. I will need to let Cassy do that. She normally handles all that. Cassy insisted I still go out and check on the property and try to enjoy myself. I do not know how someone can enjoy themselves when their mind is back home, away from their family. The three hours was empty, hollow as I drove away from my son. I felt like it was abandonment. I hope I never need to feel this way again. The one hundred and fifty miles is weighing heavy on my heart but I am here now and listening to the early spring coyotes singing in the cool night air.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. All I know is when I close my eyes tonight for oblivion to take me, when it is supposed to be sweet rest, that dark haunting feeling will still be with me. I will again see Danny''s pale face, staring miserably at me, pleading for his father to do something about his misery. And I can''t. Diary Entry #5 Saturday, April 11, 2020 I don''t remember the last time my muscles were this sore, damn! Was it always this hard? I don''t remember, it has been too long since I have done this kind of work out here in the woods. My hands are covered in blisters, and I am still shivering from the bath in the creek, but I''ll be damned to the deepest pits of hell before I will go to bed smelling like that. I kept myself busy trying to keep my mind off of home and Danny. I went onto the ridge to check my messages once and no news but somehow it did not settle my mind. I can''t help but think something is wrong. The clearing for the house is much bigger now and so is the mound of rick wood that will be the wall eventually. There is so much to do but with my mind so far away, the work is dangerous. One tree almost got me when my attention was not on it. Now I have two nightmares to dwell on tonight. At least one is a massive oak and not my son''s face.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. I will hike to the top of the ridge before dark and check the messages again. One side of me wants a message, no matter how bad, just as an excuse to go home. The other is afraid of just what this feeling in me is. I have never been religious or superstitious but now... Diary Entry #6 Sunday, April 12, 2020 DANNY! The drive back yesterday was frightening, for both me and others on the road. I do not even know how fast I clocked it in but I don''t think the truck saw under 80 MPH except at the fuel pump. God, I don''t even know if I put the tools up. The news, that message on the phone stopped my heart. My son was being admitted to the hospital. How could we have missed a tick? We told the children to make sure they check and admittedly, a twelve-year-old boy does not like mom and dad poking around on him, but now... My wife has already contacted Chip. I had messages from both of them. Chip ordered me not to come in tomorrow. He told me to be with my son or he would fire me. I should have listened to my feelings. I should have left yesterday morning and I would have been back before all this would have started. Now he is in a coma, put there because of his fever and I can''t even tell him his father is here, that I made it here to see him.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. Dammit, all I can do is sit and stare, write some more, bust another damn lead in a pencil because of my frustration. I don''t want to watch TV, I don''t want the phone, I just want my son''s eyes to open. The doctors assure me the prognosis for rocky mountain spotted is good and they will wake him after his body heals some but dammit! Maybe I need some rest, but those haunting eyes wake me and leave me shaking and in tears. Then I pick up my pencil and write some more. Diary Entry #7 Monday, April 13, 2020 As if my son being here in this ICU ward was not enough, the news coming in from Capitol Hill is not looking good. MERS is spreading quickly out of the Middle East. It has mutated and it is now air bourne. Wes told me I would know when it was announced what his deployment duties would be. Our forces are being evacuated and our assets brought within the borders of our territories. It must be hellish for us to abandon a war that is nearly twenty years old now. Greece, Italy, Israel, Syria, and better than twenty other nations are reporting heavy infections. I don''t want to watch the news but I can''t seem to turn it off. Our administration announced a shutdown of the US borders and I cannot blame them. The losses that have been sustained in Iraq, where the first patient was reported two months ago has been staggering. Ten thousand are dead, with more than forty thousand infections and the number growing exponentially daily.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. I sit staring at my son and my mind wanders to the piece of land and the promise it holds. The remote location, the pile of logs that should be becoming a house, and the tears well into my eyes. I feel as if a horrible choice is being laid before me, where I must choose between the emergency now, or the possible life of my family later. All I can do is stare at the television, at the horror that is becoming of Europe, and know the choice is being made for me. Diary Entry #8 Tuesday, April 14, 2020 I arrived back at my property after discussing with my wife the current situation. In part, I needed to get out of the stench of death that emanated from the bedside in my son''s ICU ward. The other part is the overdriving urge to make preparations for the trouble I feel is coming across the sea. I ignored my feelings once, and it cost me, never again. I can''t believe I am laying my beds with the prepper crowd. My brother should be laughing where ever he may be currently. I listened to many of his ramblings through our game nights together, rolling my eyes. Now I sit here racking my brain for just one of those conversations from my brother back.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. A wood stove will be an essential item for heating. Up on the plateau, the temperatures during the winter nights can get very cold. We would need a heating source and somewheres to cook, so yeah, mark that to a shopping list. I could get some Solar panels. Thank God for youtube again, a modern damn marvel it is. But it will be finite power at best if the world went to hell. The lead-acid batteries that would be powering everything would be good for a very short time comparatively, around eight years if my memory is good. Lithiums are too finicky with temperatures for me. I have such a long way to go and I am already tired. Can we trust humans if things get bad? Will my son get better or better yet, did I see my son for the last time today? That is a hell of a thought to go to bed with. Entry #8 or was it #9 I think it is Friday, April 15, 2020 but I will not swear to it. I have been up all night with that final thought and it took me most of the day to work up the nerve to walk up the ridge to call my wife. They will be checking his brain activity in the morning and then we will need to make a call. They think his fever may have got to high and even if he does come out of this, they do not know what we will be looking at. If there is a God, he is feeling in a cruel humor as of late and not taking request. I do not expect I will see Danny again but I will be leaving here at midnight to head back to Nashville to be with Cassy when the time comes to make that decision. No one should have to make that call on their own. I can not even count the number of times I have cried this evening.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. On a brighter note, I met some of the neighbors in my random wanderings through our acreage today. I need to write their names down so I will not forget them, the Stanley''s. We got to talking and I mentioned I was in the market for a wood stove. They have one for sale. If I don''t write down their names, I will not remember. At least in here, I can come back and find out when all this is over with, where I can find this and get it checked off the list. How do you say goodbye to a child? Better yet, how do you explain to the other child how to say goodbye? Diary Entry #10 and one I will remember Thursday, April 16, 2020 A day I will never push from my memory, unfortunately. Danny is there, barely. We made the decision after consulting with doctors to pull him off life support. It was hard but he has been intubated for almost a week and completely unresponsive. The chances of him coming out of this without mental impairment are low and he has muscular damage in his right leg due to blood flow reduction. The doctor said this was all very commonplace with severe acute cases of RMSF. Then he failed to respond to stimuli, so the decision was to pull him from the ventilator. His breathing continued and the doctor left it to us whether to hook him back up. Cassy and me took a long walk, so long, through that hospital. Both of us had tears but we decided to let fate decide. So now we wait, beside a bed and in a regular room. The death watch has begun for our eldest and it would seem the death watch for the world has begun too. The first case of MERS has been reported in NYC and it has me terrified. The numbers overseas continue to climb and I have not heard from Wes. Typically my brother would have sent an email, phone call, or hell, even a text, but nothing.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. If Danny, by some miracle of the universe, makes it. We will still have a long road to recovery. The doctor already said the leg must be taken but the sooner we can get out of this hospital the better. If things turn sour as they have in other parts of the world, then this hospital will be a tomb in a week or two. God, another seizure, this might be it. I just want it over one way or another. Diary Entry #11 Friday, April 17, 2020 Danny has improved, although the past twenty-four hours have been rough. With the help of strong antibiotics that if I were to be asked to spell in here to save my life I couldn''t, his fever has reduced. The doctor is moving on to the next phase already. He says the right leg must go if Danny is to survive or else we will be dealing with a secondary infection that will be definitely fatal. The surgeon will be in to speak with us in the morning. I just do not know how I will explain to my son, if he retains that much mental capacity, that his leg is gone. God can be a cruel taskmaster, but the future is crueler yet. I got word Wes, my brother, was killed in action. As our military attempted to pull their assets out, the Iraqi government launched an all-out strike to try to keep it there for their floundering country. Iraq is on the verge of collapse. It seems this virus is bad enough America will not be launching a counter-strike. They will be leaving damage done. They got all the equipment out. There will be no funeral though, his body has to be cremated for safety concerns. The DoD notified my mother of the decision. I saw the rest on CNN. The soldiers who went and survived the conflict are being isolated in the desert, location is not being revealed for safety concerns.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. This whole past two weeks has turned into hell. How can the world go from normal to upside down so quickly? I have not told Cassy yet about Wes. She has enough on her mind, but it will kill her. After all, she was his before she was mine. And I will still need to tell Danny too. But Danny still does not know the truth... Diary Entry #12 Saturday, April 18, 2020 Danny opened his eyes briefly this morning as the surgeon came in to talk to us. Half an hour later, they wheeled him out for emergency surgery to amputate his leg. The risk for sepsis is growing by the hour. The leg is horribly discolored and a smell born somewhere in a nightmare emanates from his bedside. I had to once again say a possible farewell to my boy and the last piece of my brother that I have. I sat Cassy down in the early morning hours as we sat staring at the newsreels scrolling across CNN and broke the news about Wes. I have never been able to withhold information from her. The news brought a wail from her, wrenching sobs that wracked her small frame until she became sick. Wes and her never lost that connection. It has always been a weird triangle, one confusing relationship between the three of us. I should be somehow relieved but I am overcome with a grief beyond articulating. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. It has always been known that Wes was Danny''s father. Cassy was engaged during that time, but my daughter could be either ones'' child. It has never mattered until now. What if the little girl, whom I have raised as my own, what if her real father died too? There is no reason to beat myself up over this, no reason to tell Danny. There is no reason to bring a dead man''s ghost back. I need to bury Wes, but somehow his ghost will not fade. Can I put this to rest so my brother will finally be in the past? I need it too, my families lives may very well depend on it. Diary Entry #13 Sunday, April 19, 2020 Danny was in surgery five hours yesterday. I stayed long enough to see him out and Cassy is staying tonight with him at Vanderbilt. Cassy and me talked it over, it would seem that she and I are of like mind. The sooner we have somewhere out of the crowded metropolitan area to stay the better. Gary, bless good and faithful Gary, has agreed to come with me and Nadley out to the property while Cassy stays with Danny. Normally Wes would come, I am...I am going to miss him very much. His experience would be welcome at the moment. Gary does not have as much experience but he has been my best friend since high school. Both of us are skilled with hand tools and both lived in the woods. Between us, we should be able to keep an eye on Nadley as the other one is dropping trees for the cabin. The logs will need to be skinned, but I already have the jig set up to cut the dovetails. The base is laid already.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. We did not get much done yesterday evening nor this morning, the damn rain has been relentless. I am growing to hate the month of April. The only thing we did get done was buy the wood stove off the Stanley''s. According to the weather channel, tomorrow should be cleared up. I am going up the ridge to see if Danny is alert yet. He was conscious, but delusional last night. Cassy tried to have him listen to my voice but all it did was confuse him. I hope tonight will have better results. I just want to hear my boy''s voice again. I just want to hear that one word out of his lips, "Daddy". Diary Entry #14 Monday, April 20, 2020 Does there have to be so many damn twenties in today''s date? Really aggravating to write. I finally get to write good news for the first time in what feels like an eternity. Danny was awake when I walked up the ridge earlier with Nadley. Both of us got to talk to "Bubba". Poor Nadley was in a full-blown sob when she was talking to him. She was fully convinced when we told her that he was having surgery to have his leg removed that he was gone. She has some weird ideas for such a little girl. Danny did not have too much to say. The pain medication had him so out of it, I doubt he will even remember we talked. Cassy sounds exhausted. I will be going back tomorrow to give her a break for a few days.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. We got most of the logs cut today for the house. Gary is a work horse. He might be lanky and lean, but he is stronger than I will ever be. And he is much better at dropping trees than I am. I swear he could hit a stake and hammer it straight into the ground with the pine we are cutting into. Nadley and I have left him to it, we have set to other tasks. We are working on a freshwater spring we found. I have a test kit. Gary is single and has agreed to stay here, working at cutting logs. He will check on the test in two days. If there is any bacteria growth, then we will need to look else where. If there is no growth, then we are set on water hopefully. So much to do, and how much of the outside news have I missed? I can''t be in both places at once. I feel it is only going to get worse. Diary Entry #15 Tuesday, April 21, 2020 Nadley is extremely sleepy because of having a bunch of fun in the woods, meeting new people and she was amazed that the heater will be able to cook on just like a campfire. Cassy looked exhausted, she is beating her self up for the decision we made to change places today. Danny did not have anything to say when I got there.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. I keep asking the nurses why Danny will not wake up? Is everything normal? Will he wake up soon? Now I know why Cassy is tired all the time. I am glad that she is getting to go home and get some sleep and some real food too. I am wondering if anything is going to change only time will tell. Now that I am here I can talk to Danny and wonder if he can hear me, I hope so. Cassy went hope fear struck me now that I am alone with him. I think he can hear me because when I spoke I saw Danny twitching his eyelids. Will he wake up for me tonight I hope so. Diary Entry #16 Friday, April 24, 2020 The last two days have been busy. Danny is finally awake, in fact, two days cognitive. He is asleep every few hours still but he seems to be there mentally. I am getting worried about how stable he is going to be as far as mood goes. When he woke on Wednesday, it took the better part of a day to explain and then re-explain what has happened over the last two weeks. With tears streaming down my face, I explained over and over to my twelve-year-old that he no longer had a leg. He still does not know of his Uncle Wes. One thing to absorb at a time, he is too close to the edge at the moment. One more little nudge could push him over the brink.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. Things elsewhere are not getting any better either. MERS is spreading quickly in NYC and there are now scattered reports in Atlanta, Denver, Chicago, and even in Memphis, but those seem to be scared rumors or I hope so. They are running scared right now. Mayor De Blasio has declared a state of emergency and is requesting help from the state and the governor has announced an executive order to close down portions of NYC and to close nonessential traffic in and out of NYC. I think they are too late. Death has its wings in the wind and it has come for us finally. The question remaining is how many of us will live to starve another day? Diary Entry #17 Saturday, April 25, 2020 It is back out to the homestead for me and Monday it is back into the office. I am out of paid leave and with Cassy on personal leave with Danny, we need me at work right now. I dropped Nadley with Mom so I can get as much accomplished with Gary as possible. The amount of work that man could accomplish in a week is astounding. We have enough trees dropped to finish the walls but they will still need to be skinned. That is a long and labor-intensive task. I have been at it since I arrived today. My hands are covered in blisters. The cool spring water felt good cooling the pain and no worries about any infection. The spring turned out fine in testing. Now we need to pipe it into a cistern and all the worries about water will be cured.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Power is another matter entirely. I have asked Gary about his opinion on Solar. His family runs their entire house off the grid with solar power. He is less concerned about a battery situation. He is convinced that even with the shorter life span of the lead acids would give any disruption in society plenty of time to right itself before you would need new batteries. He just about has me convinced to invest the small fortune into a system to run our cabin. Danny is going to need the support and comforts of the modern world. It is going to be longer than the modern world can afford him before he is going to be healed. I just hope and I am just near ready to try praying, that he can get out of that hospital before what is in Memphis makes it way to Nashville. Otherwise, it might be time to think about kidnapping my own son. His life might depend on it and ours. Diary Entry #18 Sunday, April 26, 2020 I am finally back at the house after a long weekend, but without Nadley we got plenty done. All the logs are shaved and if my calculations are correct, we will be ready to put up the walls on top of what I have already done on the next workday. Gary had to return today too. He used up his vacation but he said it was the best damn vacation in six years. It reminded him of times we had when we were boys near the Tennessee river as boys. It did bring back memories. Last night we did stay up for a bit just to talk about the possibilities the nation now faced as MERS is no longer a possibility but a fact. I told him that this land was always open to him.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. On a brighter note, Danny was very alert today when I stopped in at the hospital to see him. He seemed happy to see me for a little before slumping off into grim silence again. Cassy said he has been in a deep depression and slipping farther the longer he has been awake. They will be putting him on some anti-depressants tomorrow temporarily as he begins some therapy to deal with the loss of a limb. My Cassy has been dealing with him waking up in tears clutching where his leg would have been. I fear for him, I really do. I want my boy back and normal but I know that is a fantasy. He has lost part of him but now we need to find the new him before he slips into the darkness of suicide. Diary Entry #19 Monday, April 27, 2020 Back to the grindstone after nearly a month, man to be sitting in an office all-day was just awful. I am used to getting up and going places if need be but to be strapped to the desk was something new almost. I called Cassy and Danny at lunch. He was being sat up and wheeled around for a while and sounded happier for it. Tired too and I told him not to overdo it and that we all missed him at home. I must have said something wrong because his mood went from happy to glum quicker than the flick of a light switch. Cassy is starting to get worried now about being in the hospital. There are cases being counted daily in Memphis and a first in Nashville. Memphis had their first death and it will be nowhere near the last. The President addressed the nation at noon. We all sat and watched as he recommended guidelines to limit contact. At the bottom of the screen, the newsreel read-across of entire states closing their borders, ordering their populations home. We looked around the room worriedly at one another. Could are state be next? Would our state take such drastic actions? In the states that had, panic was being reported. In the first hit state, New York, hundreds were dying a day now. Chip finally shut it off but I could not get the message out of my head. That message said I was running out of time.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Diary Entry #30 Sunday, May 10, 2020 Run, quickly! That is all we can do now. They are closing the hospitals to anyone that is not admitted. Gary and I got my son out of the place and not exactly on the legal side either. I "took" my son for a stroll and that just happened to be by an exit. I am sure the alarm let them know someone opened the door but Gary was there waiting with the car. I can''t leave my son in the hospital and risk exposure to this. So many dead, so many more that are going to die. Cassy is waiting for us at our new home. It will be cramped for a while in the camper but soon we will have more shelter in place.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. What did I do? I feel exhilarated, frightened, repulsed and all of these feelings are intertwining into a soup of mixed emotions. Cassy is out of place out here but with getting Danny out of there, she was the driving force. I wanted a more diplomatic approach. I am just not the felon type but I can''t say no to her. Thank god for her. I feel relieved and I am glad I do not have to drive as we leave Nashville for the final time. The back roads wind as Gary takes us to our final home for the foreseeable future. Will we make it before we are caught, maybe? There is too much chaos for any certain future for any person now. Diary Entry #31 Monday, May 11, 2020 How do people commit any sort of crime and then sleep or live? I have been on a razor edge since we pulled up last night. Cassy looked relieved to see us. She told us that on one of her trips up to the ridge, she saw a news notification from WSMV that they were closing off Nashville. There were tears of relief in her eyes when she saw us get out of the truck. She was worried we had not made it out before Nashville was quarantined. I am so tired. Gary told me not to worry but I stayed up watching the road all night long. It was not until sunrise when some other living person roused that I was able to let my eyes close for a few until after breakfast. Cassy went to town and spent every bit of our money on groceries and plants. The pickings were slim but at this point, we will take anything. I wish I could have gone with her and I am sure the powers to be have more important matters than chasing me, but I am still coping.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. Gary and I got a good start on the walls. With two men working and the logs cut already, it is going quickly. Hot work now, nearly mid-May but it is going to be even hotter in the camper if we cannot get some more breathing room. Right now I guess we will just need to be thankful that we have clean water, food in our belly, and friends to help out. Diary Entry #32 Tuesday, May 12, 2020 I thought I would be through with meetings after the government closed my tech company but it would seem I was wrong. Running a house in the midst of a social meltdown seems as hard a task as any and without some coordination, we are doomed to failure. All of us, even little Nadley, sat down in the cool of the morning, to discuss what each would be responsible for and about rationing of the stocks of food. The local food mart made it clear to Cassy that they did not know when the next shipment of food would be in. It would seem that most of the major hubs are closed as of right now, so we are on our own. Nadley does not understand, but the rest of us understand the gravity of the situation, even Danny. At the last report, almost one hundred thousand Americans have already died. It is too overwhelming for our country to handle.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Gary and I will be constructing the house, hopefully, in another two days, the cabin will have the walls up. Cassy and Danny, who is holding up well enough and I am so proud of him, will be helping with the general feeding and keeping count of our stocks. All of us will help with our laundry, it is very labor-intensive doing it by hand. Gary is helping me remember the basics of trapping, and we are all foraging for eatable plants. Thankfully, with the prudent planning last month, we do have some power through a small solar grid but I feel as though we now have a target on our backs. It is a matter of time before the grid fails and then we have something others want. Gary, Cassy, and I have agreed on a three-point watch at night. It is the only way we can sleep soundly. How could the world have come to this? If someone does try something, could one of us kill for our family? I hope to never find out. Diary Entry #33 Wednesday, May 13, 2020 Cassy said we had someone driving back and forth during her turn last night. They even pulled in but then they left. I do not know what it was about and it was probably innocent but it reinforces our feelings of needing someone awake at any given time. With supplies becoming scarce, anyone anywhere is now a target to scavengers and opportunists. The real desperation has not had a chance to start, too soon. Give everything a week, maybe two, and then it will not be the criminals that we will need to worry about if the supply chain is not restored, it will be the neighbors. What will someone do when the time comes to feed the family? I don''t want to dwell on that but it is mainly because I don''t want to think about my answer. Maybe it is time to rethink my opinion on prayer. Danny overdid himself yesterday. He is eager to help in this time of need. We have his set of crutches from the hospital but they never did get around to fitting him with a prosthetic leg. He is in bed and little Nadley has insisted on taking care of her big brother. She does not want him going back to the hospital ever and in her little sassy voice told everyone she was in charge of his care. Cassy is keeping an eye on both of them but that means we are running somewhat short on the homemaking department.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. On a side note, Danny''s birthday is coming up and I am working at night to make him a peg leg. It is crude but he will be able to move around better with it. The progress on it is slow. I was not born to be a carpenter or woodcarver but it is being made with love and care. Getting the measurements while he is sleeping has been tricky but I am hoping to surprise him with it. Maybe we can find joy in this time of great loss and enjoy family in the midst of despair. Or maybe I am a bigger fool than I believed. Diary Entry # 34 Thursday, May 14, 2020 Our stalkers returned last night, they are making us nervous. I think this is going to require closer observation. Gary and I are going to set up down near the road to see what these people are up to. We cannot afford any mix-ups at the moment and who would we call? Is there any law or order at the moment? But in the same breath, can someone take the law into their own hands and who''s law are they observing? This is why we have the modern world, the justice department, the penal code. It gives a base for everyone to work off of and now there is only chaos, only discord, among the population of this state and for all that we have heard, the world. Danny is feeling sore still but somewhat better, his birthday is just a few more days off. We do not have too much to celebrate these days and I think to retain our humanity, we need to remember these special occurrences and celebrate them with the people we love. Our family is planning jubilation and all work will cease on that day. Danny came close to death and his life is something to celebrate.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. On another note of celebration, the roof joists are going onto the cabin tomorrow. All the walls are up! We can use some canvas for the time being to cover it and we can set up in it, getting us out of the stuffy camper. We have had to dig an outhouse. The RV toilet is almost full. Between the three of us, we almost have the pit to the depth of seven-foot. We do not want to go any deeper. We were able to put it downslope of the spring and it will do until better arrangements can be had. Maybe we can get these stalkers taken care of and our nerves will settle but tonight I guess we will see if I get to answer some of those uncomfortable questions. Diary Entry #35 Friday, May 15, 2020 My thoughts are scattered. I am ragged, tired, dirty, and still scared. I can''t...I still can''t believe we had to do that but it came down to my family or those two men. I can still hear the whispered conversation. It echoes in my sleep of the horrors they would bring to my family. They did not only pull in our driveway the past few nights. They KNEW the layout of the buildings. They had cased where we stood our watch and had guessed our rotation. My Cassy was their intended target. Her watch would be the one they would strike. I can''t tell her but we will need to adjust how we are standing watch. We will need something but my thoughts are too unfocused right now.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. We buried the bodies on the back of the property...deep. It took most of the day to bury them and I went straight to sleep. Little Nadley curled up to me. Somehow little ones seem to know when adults are hurting inside. She will be my ticket to keeping my humanity through this. I still...how did I end up doing this? Why is this happening to me? Am I ever going to wake up? Diary Entry #36 Saturday, May 16, 2020 I feel a need to keep my journal going, even more now. It is...hard at best. I never imagined life would be this way but it is and we must bear it as best as we can, remembering the world we came from and do our best to reconstruct it when it is possible. We have the roof joist installed and canvas on. It will be some time before we fashion a roof but for now, this will do. Still a dirt floor, not any amenities, and I feel like we fell into the third world, or maybe back a century or two in time, but it is still more space than a thirty-foot camper. Gary wants to stay in the camper and give my family some room. I have tried to persuade him to join us. He is part of the family now, but I think he just needs some privacy too. Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. Cassy went to town. Some of our perishables are running low. Bread, milk, eggs- she was not able to get much but she was able to buy some chickens, so the eggs are cured. While in town, the news is not good. It seems there has been a basic break down of government essentially. Washington DC is sealed off and most of the communications are starting to be an on and off affair, depending on staffing. The states have been left to fend for themselves. On our state level, Nashville has been sealed for a week, and briefings are coming intermittently from Governor Lee from a safe location. I know the utilities do not have much longer before they will be down and then our solar power will have us a nice target on our backs to people like we met the other night. And give enough time, will the break down continue? Will the Stanleys or the Mitchells become our enemies or will they become tight allies or God forbid, targets. Diary Entry # 37 Monday, May 17, 2020 I am writing this before it goes dark. I missed last night and I had to look to see the date from the previous journal date. I am driven not to lose me during this dark time in human history, but as the sun sank and twilight dimmed into night, the neighbors'' lights were not visible. Both the Stanleys and the Mitchells are normally visible through the foliage down the road but darkness was the only thing to greet us. Gary and I used up some precious gas to check on other lights and there was no power. We turned our power off so as not to draw attention to ourselves. What would happen if others saw the lights on in our camper? Just the firelight greeted us for the majority of the night. The full moon gleamed overhead the rest, lighting the woods for miles around in its black and white glow.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. These events overshadowed the joy earlier of the celebration of Danny''s birthday. He was overjoyed at his wooden peg leg. He limped around with it and the cane that Gary carved for him and we feasted on the cake made in the dutch oven made by Cassy. It was a joyous day. My boy lived to see thirteen and it was something I had given up hope on back in April. I have to admit that I cried today. I want to remember I cried today. It lets me know I am still human. After what I have done over the past week and what I will need to do in the future to ensure the survival of my family, I want this diary entry to reflect that at one point, James D. Garfield, was in fact, a respectable human and I hope I will be again. Diary Entry # 38 Tuesday, May 18, 2020 Day two of no power. This time Gary went into town to do some shopping around. We are in need of some light building supplies. Nothing too much, just some screws, nails, maybe a few more hammers, and it seems that was readily available but it came with a hitch. It seems without any communications, and without an end in sight, the local hardware store is not accepting paper money anymore. I think it is more the owners are running short on other supplies. Food mainly from the list of acceptable trade. We are down a dozen of eggs and a half-pound of sugar, but considering it got us the list of our wanted supplies, I guess we should not complain. The eggs will be replaceable. The sugar will not last forever. We had five pounds of it and now we are down to three. The store is almost depleted and the mayor of the county is talking about sending an envoy to the neighboring county to see about news and trade. I think it is too risky. This MERS is deadly on a level that humanity has not seen in centuries. Best not to risk bringing it here.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. We have started the tedious task of splitting logs the old fashion way for the roof. The shake that is going to be the shingles should be replaceable and something that is easily made. The world is changing and we will need to change with it. So far, our county and town are staying together, but the food is just running out in the store. When people start running out, that is when I do not want to leave our land anymore. With the addition of chickens and now, two goats (that trade cost us dearly, but it should pay us back), and our crops, we will be prime meat for desperate people. No matter how much I like them, desperate people quickly become dead ones. That has already been proven true. Diary Entry # 39 Wednesday, May 19, 2020 There are lights on and then off, it is maddening. I finally called it and just left our solar grid off. I end up writing by firelight. I know it will sound petty later, but it is a might bit inconvenient. Of all the things I could be writing about in here, the freezing temperatures in May, the dwindling toilet paper supply, the constant dull routine, but it is the annoyance with the power is the thing that triggers me. I will need to find some better ways to manage stress and talk it over with the other two. I know if it is bothering me it has to be bothering them too. We need to address it before we kill each other.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. There has been little activity on the road now. Every time we do hear anything, our heads snap up. If this is an indicator of how others are starting to feel, then things will start to get uglier. We started on a root cellar and until it is finished we are hiding our food cache on the property. I don''t want to write it down because if someone finds this, then they will have our life sustenance removed and we will die. There is no use pulling the punch. This is no longer a game of "ifs", this is now a careful dance with that dark grim reaper, and I don''t want to miss a step. He is a jealous SOB. Diary Entry # 53 Tuesday, June 1, 2020 Our county mayor is a damn imbecile, may he burn in hell. People who cannot listen to the counsel of others should never lead and now people will most definitely die. I hope what little news and food trade was worth bringing that virus into the area. Now, instead of dealing with an occasional looter, the real desperation begins. I am glad we got the root cellar finished. Our food stocks will be easier to protect. When people are dying and they are getting hungry and they are scared, that is a dangerous combination. I hope we have everything from town, because I will admit, this virus scares the living hell out of me. I don''t want to lose anyone and I still want to go on breathing.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. The weather finally warmed up. It has been an unusually cool spring, but then again, it would match all the other oddities in the air. The deafening silence outside without the noise pollution. The clean, tangy air, clear of the scent of the familiar smog. The growing tensions between groups of people. That is the one that is hardest for me to swallow. Over the past two weeks, the tension is almost palatable. Even with our new "friends" and neighbors, the Stanleys, there is a tension in the air that can be tasted, a distrust. Not only do they distrust you but also you can feel them measuring your worth like a sack of potatoes...MMM Potatoes, those would be so delicious right now. Diary Entry # 54 Thursday, June 3, 2020 Ugh, sleep beckons, but I need to write to keep some sanity and to keep events straight that has happened since Tuesday. That night, on Cassy''s watch, three people decided to pay us a visit near dawn. I guess they were hungry or whatever. It doesn''t matter now. One is dead and the other is tied and gagged in the corner of the cabin where we can keep an eye on both him and Cassy. After I was woke by the first sharp crack of the rifle in the early morning darkness, followed by the quick succession of more fire, I came out of my bed and through the door, straight into the arms of the prisoner that is now in our custody. Afterward, we found Cassy crying over the body, slowly reloading the rifle. She is distraught. We have her on a 24 hr suicide watch. Gary and I have been rotating out, barely getting any sleep. Stolen story; please report. I don''t know what we will do with the young man we have. What if he has a little one that whatever he was after was depending on. What if it was food or clothing? Maybe searching for some goats milk because the mother has been lost to this disease. But along those same lines, what if our guest is carrying this deadly and silent killer right into our midst. Maybe it would be better to take him out and quietly slit his throat for the good of us all. We just don''t have enough people to do this at the moment. Cassy is doing better and soon I will be able to sleep. But if we lose one of us to this disease because of our guest, I don''t think any watch will prevent the loss of her. Diary Entry # 55 Friday, June 4, 2020, Day of the Skunk Why would a good and loving God ever make a pitiful creature like a skunk? They are horrible and dreadful creatures that leave a lasting impression on their victims. Last night, I was one such victim and now I bear the everlasting mark of the skunk on me. Do I get a thanks for saving our egg-producing chickens as my family group eats those same eggs for breakfast? Noooo, I get exiled and promoted to fulltime guard of the newest member of our group, much to his dismay. The poor man''s eyes have not stopped tearing since I was put on guard duty. We have shed tears together, brothers weeping together at each''s company.Stolen story; please report. I know tomato sauce is supposed to take it off but we cannot possibly spare enough to rid me of my new aroma. I have no idea how long my exile will be and Gary will not come within shouting distance of me so I can ask. The only thing I can be thankful for is someone who will have to relieve me of this duty sometime, which means I will finally get a full night''s sleep, sort of. I am still trying to figure out how to sleep without breathing. Diary Entry # 56 Saturday, June 5, 2020 I am on day two of my exile but it is bearing some fruit. To help pass the time, I removed our guest gag, and to tell the truth I pitied the poor fellow. I know how bad I smell to my own nose, I can''t imagine what I smell like to Brad''s nose. That is his name, and his wife, the one that was killed, her name was Samantha. She was almost six months pregnant. I have talked extensively to Brad. The whole raid was for food for Samantha. They had not eaten in two days prior to the raid and at that point, he had grown desperate. She was starting to get weak. The pregnancy was adding strain to her body. The other gentleman that was with them was someone they had met and joined with around the time Nashville closed. It had started out as a decent size group he said, but after several unsuccessful raid attempts, their numbers had dwindled. That is the only reason that they had food for as long as they had for his wife.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. We will need to have a meeting soon to discuss the fate of our guest soon. The fate of our own family group here will depend on it. To have someone on the homestead who is taking resources but contributing nothing in return will eventually cause someone to go hungry. I already know Brad''s mind on the matter. He knows what he did was wrong and he accepts that he will probably die for it. He wants to die in fact. His wife and unborn child rest not far from where we sit now in sullen silence, listening to the sounds of the oncoming evening as I write. Brad''s only request was to be buried next to them. I do not know if I can ever trust him enough to free him off the homestead but dammit, to kill a man for trying to do the exact thing I am trying to do does not seem right. Maybe he will be willing to live in an uneasy arrangement. We need help and until he becomes trustworthy, maybe he can do a work release? But then, he has confessed to being a raider. Maybe death would be kinder for his kind. Diary Entry # 57 Sunday, June 6, 2020 My aroma had dampened enough for me to resume so regular duties and the first order of business is what to do with Brad. I insisted he be present at the meeting too and engaged. The young man relayed the same story, word for word, to my wife and Gary, as he struggled with tears as he told of his wife. Cassy started to stare hard at me with tear-filled eyes when he got to the part about his pregnant wife. She and I have not exactly had any time to talk about that night since she came off watch. Brad never plead for his life and only asked for a quick death. My friends were not as eagers as I to keep him on but I made a good case of needing more grown help on our homestead before winter. Brad''s shoulders slumped as the judgment came to a consensus. He looked as though he was looking forward to the cold embrace of the ground but now we have denied it to him. I hope we have not made a mistake. We need help, badly. The help that does not come with a price tag, like what would come from one of the nearby neighbors. We have a chance for that, but it means taking a chance. That chance though means a risk that can cost one or more of those I love, their lives. My mind wanders to the woman named Samantha buried in our growing cemetery, the starvation she was faced with, and suddenly, that risk does not seem that bad, nor the price. Maybe after a period of indentured servitude, Brad will choose to join our family. If not, I shudder at that thought.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. Diary Entry # 58 Monday, June 7, 2020 Last night was rough to put it lightly. The storms that came in, rolled in quickly. I do not know whether or not there was a tornado. Weather alerts are one of the luxuries of the world of yesterday that I can chalk up with the rest to missing, but I can see the results. As the winds picked up, we all ran for the root cellar, even our newest addition Brad. He could have escaped in the chaos, but really, that would have been suicidal after seeing the aftermath of last night''s gale. I can never forget the sound of those winds and then the gun like cracks as trees snapped nearby. My two little ones, well my children, Danny is becoming man-sized after all, were huddled in the back in fear. Poor Nadley pushed her face down deep into the chest of her big brother. Danny in the meantime did his best not to cry as he bit his lip bloody. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. From what we could tell after the storm passed, surveying with the use of some of the precious battery power from our flashlights. The camper was mostly demolished by an upended oak. I am not sure what will be able to be saved from the twisted metal and splintered wood. Hopefully, some of it will be salvageable, waste is not an option at this point. Some of the boxed food in there will be the last we see for a long time. The solar, electrical, batteries (if they survived) will need to be relocated to the cabin. The windows and wood need to be saved too, it is not like we can just waltz into the hardware store either. The canvas roof is missing, completely gone. Putting the permanent roof on the cabin just became the priority. And to add insult to injury, I have had to chase goats all day long with Brad. It seems since I vouched for him to be the extra help, I am now his guard while he is on his work duty. I have not ran so much in years. Perhaps they would do better in a stew than as weed eaters. Diary Entry # 59 Tuesday, June 8, 2020 I had to stop Brad''s first attempt at suicide today. We have him on watch now, 24-hour hold for now while we talk with him. We can''t spare any more time than that. After the hold, if he still wishes to die, while I hate to honor his wish, he will be free of this life. Otherwise, the time spent trying to keep him alive will endanger the rest of our family. We will talk to him and let him know that we want him to live. We would like him to eventually be free to join our family, but first, he must earn it. Life is becoming more precious as more succumb to this disease as is our humanity as more of our race plunge back to our feral instincts to survive.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. On that same topic, I do hope our neighbors have faired well. Through the storms a few days past and through the raids that have been taking place. We cannot go to check on them. It is too much risk with MERS now in the region thanks to our wonderful mayor. If we go to check on them and that virus follows us back here, someone, maybe all, will die here. It has been risky with Brad. That is what wiped out most of his group but he has not shown any signs of it. I do not believe he is carrying it thankfully. I hate to have this mentality but visitors will get one verbal warning before our graveyard grows by another spot. Our group will not end up like his group. Diary Entry # 60 Wednesday, June 9, 2020 It took every fiber of my being not to follow Brad as he walked towards the edge of our clearing with the rope. I wish he would have chosen differently but in the end, he now lays beside his wife. We cannot keep devoting time, precious time, to keeping watch on him. It became a choice between our humanity and our survival. Now, especially now, with food supply drying up, no medical support, no utilities, absolutely no communications, just this group, our survival of each of the members of this group is paramount. I guess, to put it bluntly, Brad made his choice and we had to make our''s, no matter how brutal it seems to my self conscious, it is a reminder that my morality could very well cost lives if I let it come in the way again.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. I have been trying to save some shreds of it. I have been stuffing parts of me away in the shadows and letting it out from time to time, hoping for a swift end to this, but I need to wake up. This is not going to end soon and before it is over, there will be more of me missing then there is left. I just watched a man kill himself, commit suicide before me and I stood and watched because doing something could mean the death of someone else. Now, we can move on tomorrow as nothing happened, he never existed, a hole in the ground. Put the roof on, tend crops, hunt, fish, and survive because if he exist to us for a moment at the wrong time or in the wrong place and something goes wrong, there will be another mound of meaningless dirt in the graveyard. It is the sad, blunt, and unfortunate truth of our new and harsh world. Diary Entry # 74 Tuesday, June 23, 2020 The store bought food has dwindled down to almost nothing. The vegetable garden is sustaining us somewhat in the greens department and us two men, the previous country boys, are doing our damn best to remember everything we can on how to set homemade traps. We also have a decent size creek that we have been harvesting crawfish, frogs, and small fish of whatever we can get our hands on. I thought we would be able to hunt our way through this but I never took into account just how much ammo that takes up. That is another supply that is dwindling, not that we had a large supply to begin with. I wish we did. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. We found Mr. Mitchell in the bottom of one of our spike pits that were dug to trap larger prey. It was eight-foot deep, well above what someone can climb out of. He was down there, a spike through his leg, raving mad with a fever and cough. We did not even bother to try to get him out. We just backfilled it with him in it and alive. The entire time up until his head was covered, he kept begging for help for his wife and his father. I can''t get it out of my head, his insistence. But this could be an opportunity, a morbid one, but an opportunity none the less. If the Mitchells are lost, they have livestock, garden, and maybe a pantry that needs some attention from needy hands. It isn''t raiding nor stealing if they are dead...I think? Waste not, want not and I do not plan to be found wanting. Diary Entry # 75 Wednesday, June 24, 2020 Last night broke me. I had to sit and listen to little Nadley whimper in hunger as I tried to sleep after my watch. She is six and she has no clue why the world went to shit. She just wants her stomach not to hurt while she wants to sleep. I want her stomach full too. With Mr. Mitchell buried in the woods yesterday, raving for help, Gary and I are headed over to see if we can''t be of some "neighborly" help to them. I doubt we will find anyone living there but animals and those will be coming home with us along with anything else we can ferry across through the woods. If we have too many chickens, mmm doesn''t that sound like a good problem. The crops are producing plenty, but there are five of us to feed. We can only fish and hunt so much. There is also more work to be done if we want to plant bigger next year. If we make next year. I am starting to have my doubts that all of us will see the spring and summer isn''t even half done. I keep those reservations to myself. But as I look at what we have done but at how we struggle and the mistakes we are constantly doing, I can''t help but wonder which face I won''t see. We in the modern world have all but forgotten how to live this agrarian lifestyle and here is where we will pay. When the modern world is stripped away, I am beginning to wonder how many will die of starvation and how many will choose like Brad did, that quicker route? Would it be just more humane, in point of fact, the last humane thing we possibly can do, rather than suffer through starvation? I hope that Mitchell Farm has plenty on it, even if there might still be a partially living person there. I don''t want to answer that question. Brad was braver.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. Diary Entry # 76 Thursday, June 25, 2020 It was a harrowing night. The Mitchells live off the backside of our property on 60 acres. After much discussion, it was decided not only to go check on them but also on the Stanley''s. If the worst has come or near so, we are going to absorb both properties into our own. that simple. It will give us much needed expanded room was the consensus. The Mitchell''s was horrifying, worse than any horror film I have ever seen. Mr. Mitchell had to be the last survivor and very delirious when he fell into that pit. Burying him and giving him that quicker death was an act of mercy. The rest of his family had been dead for what looked to be weeks, just laying in their beds. I do not know why he did not bury them. Maybe he was too sick himself or maybe he just could not bring himself to do it. Sentimental feelings, that part of our human psyche, what killed him and it is the part I have been trying to bury deep inside me so I don''t kill my family. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. At Stanley''s what we found I do not know if I want to write. I don''t want to remember what we did there but what we did was to secure the food. Hoarders, preppers, those who thought ahead but they were old, and my family is so young. In the medical field, they call it triaging, deciding based on who is likely to survive and length of expected life after. I have children and if this world is expected to move on, they need to live. Because of our efforts, it now looks like we will make the winter easily as long as we continue to ration the food. I have a long day ahead as we move our stuff to the Stanley''s and Gary is going to refit the loft in the barn. The livestock will take a little to consolidate but still, we will live to see another day. Well most of us will, part of me died last night again... Diary Entry # 77 Friday, June 26, 2020 I started running a fever today and feeling like crap. We have isolated me to a shed that is here on the Stanley''s homestead, complete isolation. Food is left at my door and then I will hear a knock. I am to wait five minutes before opening to get my food. Water is delivered twice daily and I have three buckets that are being used for toiletry. One is used for composting toilet (at least it is not just straight feces, that would be horrid) and the other two are for urine and once more they are cleaned twice daily. There is absolutely no interaction between my family and me. Maybe this is the deserved punishment for the crimes I have committed to keeping my family alive. If it is, so be it. As long as they live through this.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Even if I do not have MERS, I know that without modern medicine, things like strep or even a simple inner ear infection can easily kill me without the aid of modern medicine. This has been in the back of my mind since the beginning of this pandemic. What will happen to us without even the basic medicine that we have come to rely on? During the civil war, more died from infection than mortal battle wounds. Will this end us too? Will the flu or a cut kill me or Cassy or both? Our kids could still very well die and not from anything but lack of care. All I can do now is wait and see if I what will become of me. Diary Entry # 78 Saturday, June 27, 2020 Am I awake this time? I saw Wes but that can''t be right he is dead. He was here, I know he was. It has to be this infernal coughing. At times I can hardly breathe and how did it turn off so chilly? It is June. It should not feel like it is March. It was nice for Wes to stop in and have a chat with me. I have not seen my brother since he deployed months ago. I hope the others did not see him. He needs to see Cassy and Danny. Funny thing though, isn''t he dead? Well, maybe they were wrong. He did seem alright and talkative to me. Dead people don''t talk.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. Time is becoming fluid, a slow molasses that is creeping by as I lay here waiting for conversation. It has been hard to eat and most of the time I cough. I tried to eat but I can''t so I gave it to my Dad. He came by too. I don''t know how he found us but it was nice of him to stop by. I hope these visits continue. I don''t know how much longer I can write. My head just is not what it used to be. Too much uncertainty. Diary Entry # 79 Monday, June 29, 2020 Posthumous I found my husband''s diary and decided I needed to record what happened to him. He died sometime during the night, between Sunday, June, 28 to Monday, June 29. He was a father, husband, brother, and friend but most of all, he was a survivor. He was willing to do anything to make sure his family survived. Many times over the past month he has put himself at risk to provide for this family and make sure we survived. James has even gone to great extent to try to ensure the survival of those who he did not know. There was great darkness stirring withing him, I know. I sat here crying as I read a diary full of agony as his humanity slowly was stripped from him. As he went from a loving, caring human being who had trouble killing spiders and he transformed into a cold, hard man willing to do what was necessary to protect those whom he loved the most.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. I still saw glimmers of his old self before the end came, before that god sent plague that is slowly killing our race came to claim him. When he made Nadley a rope swing and spent the day pushing her by the cabin, her high pitched squeal ringing through the oaks. When he would sit down to talk things over with Danny, the son he loved so much. We have to move on, it is what he has said so many times. Even now the shed is burning, along with him. Soon he will be nothing more than smoke on the wind and we will have to go back to surviving this world but until that shed is gone, we grieve and then we live. Diary Entry # 1 - Epilogue Saturday, August 24, 2030 I buried my mother today. The stress of life thrust upon us by a virus that humanity was not ready for took her and has now changed our entire society to the core. It has slowly taken everyone I love. My father when I was young. I can''t even remember his face. My brother three years later and shortly after Gary, our friend who cared gently for a dying Danny on that farm. Mother and I moved off the farm after that. The two of us began moving around, living lives as nomads. Whole towns were deserted, in those we could stay for longer, if we could dodge the scavengers. Other towns and larger cities were hotbeds for this virus, and others still now ruled by the strong. Those we avoided completely. Stories of forced work, firing squads for the sick, and strict enforcement of the whims of the ruling class, lead us to live as wanders among the ruins of the world that I was born into.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. Our world never recovered and our numbers continue to dwindle slowly. For all our medical marvels from our species, we were no match for this. Nothing we had or have can do anything for it. Mother said I am one of the lucky ones that survived this but that does not mean I will be that lucky again. I am just glad I cannot remember it. For now, I will remember what she told me. Once that last bit of dirt is in the hole, there is nothing left to grieve. Survival does not wait for the passage of loss. It is a savage beast that requires our constant attention. I have her and my father''s memories in this diary to guide me and for now I have one job, to live. (The story continues with the Wander''s Journal as per request from my wife and daughter. Blame them :-) )