《Fake Love》 Chapter 1 : Even Two Fakers Can鈥檛 Keep Their Composure, While with Each Other ¡°Trust. It takes months to build and seconds to demolish, and if we trust the wrong person, it means directly allowing them to shatter our life, and that¡¯s why I determined to never trust anyone and fake it all.¡± My name is Ishikawa Haruto, 2nd year studying in Kanata High school, 15 years old going to be 16 on 20 July, 172 cm tall, I have quite good looks, well maintained body with dark brown hair, messy hairstyle and sapphire blue eyes and charming personality and astonishing intelligence these points has helped me quite a lot. I have always been a great actor, not that I want to achieve a career as an actor or anything, I am a great actor because I know the fact since childhood that ¡®if you don¡¯t fake it, you¡¯re not going to make it¡¯ in this kind of world. And because of that I have been building my ¡®fake¡¯ persona since all along as I can remember. And now since of all the confidence that had been building up inside me, just as the same way how a criminal slowly becomes fearless after committing each crime, he becomes confident where it leads to ¡®arrogance¡¯, and same thing happened with me. I was not just on the boundaries of arrogance and over-confidence I was completely drowned in them. Monday, April 13, In School Like always I been chatting with my so-called ¡®friends¡¯. It¡¯s zero period and the teacher has not come yet. ¡°Hey Haruto, we are already in 2nd year of our high school, why don¡¯t you get a girlfriend?¡± This is one of my so called friends, Hayato Itsuki, he has slick back hairstyle from my point of view doesn¡¯t have any sort of manners in terms of speaking and he is kind of average when it comes to be liked by classmates, I meant boys since our class¡¯s girls are full blown sarcastic if you ask me. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think I would want to be in a relationship yet¡± All the girls were of course listening to us and I already know that, so I have to play it smoothly. ¡°And anyway the girls are all too pretty, I can¡¯t decide whom to choose if I have to. I would be too sad if these pretty faces had to be stuck with me¡± I said it in a little higher voice so that all the girls can listen, but if you ask my personal opinion on my female classmates, they are all dumb ugly bitches except one or two. And sure enough just a simple conversation like that would be enough if played right to give the girls a higher self-esteem and more than over-confidence that I like them. It¡¯s not like they aren¡¯t intelligent; I can say or accept that there are few exceptions in this class who might even be superior to me in terms of knowledge but I¡¯m brilliant at reading at reading people especially the ones¡¯ who are easily predictable. And soon enough as I expected the class was filled with conversations of how good I¡¯m and sorts of other rubbish that¡¯s how I spend every morning to slowly increase my popularity in the class, 365 days are more than enough in a year, if you play every single day correctly and make progress every day and so the teacher arrives and we start our class. After the morning prayer our class starts as usual, our teacher would start with the attendance. ¡°Class before taking the attendance, I would like to introduce a new student, she will be joining our class from today onwards. Come in dear, that¡¯s your cue~¡± He made expression with his hand for whoever has been standing outside to come in. And there she came long silver hair reaching to waist, blue eyes with a sweet mixture purple blending perfectly in them, pure white skin, slim body yet the body proportions were not any different than any pop idol and about 168 cm tall, truly an impeccable beauty but that wasn¡¯t what attracted me, the important part about her was¡­ she was me. She had the same aura, the same vibes and the same desire to make others serve you¡­ just like me. Now when I¡¯m self-analysing myself, I¡¯m kind of like some type of antagonist. But for a person like me who was always lonely when after being in the crowds, she was the perfect companion. As soon as she entered the class, the whole room was filled with voices telling me she was a ¡®faker¡¯ just like me. She walked in front of the blackboard and the whole time that charming smile on her beautiful face. She turned to face the class and her eyes turned to look at me. She knew just like me, that we are alike. ¡°Go ahead dear, introduce yourself.¡± Teacher said with a welcoming smile to her. ¡°My name is Itsumi Nayu, I¡¯m 15 and I will turn 16 on 20 September, I like sweet and kind people and I can clearly see that this class is full of sweetness, hope I will get along with you all.¡± It was just few small sentences, but clearly that way of talking with such politeness and elegance can sway anyone heart, the class was already under her spell, not to mention I was too, I was already attracted towards her charming, elegant way of speaking and also her looks. Yes, I had fallen for her persona even after knowing she was faking it all. ¡°Ok everyone now that you have met her, I hope you will get along with her and you will not hesitate to help her. Ok, Itsumi-chan [1] go and take you seat.¡± Teacher pointed towards the empty seat in the girls¡¯ row, which to my disappointment the one in the 3 row away from me. ¡°Oh Shit!¡± I spoke in a little louder voice which was heard by Itsuki sitting next to me. ¡°Oh looks like our Romeo finally found his Juliet. You like her, don¡¯t you?¡± All the girls as usual started eavesdropping with full focus to make sure they won¡¯t miss my answer. But I know how to dodge this too. ¡°Oh no, sorry that you misunderstood, there is nothing like that, I forgot to do the last question of our maths homework, that¡¯s all¡± ¡°Man! And here I was being happy that finally I get to keep the other girls to myself¡± He stated with the most dim-witted expression I have ever seen. ¡°Um¡­ sorry about that but maybe you have to wait more.¡± ¡°Yeah, looks like it¡± He said with a displeased expression, he sure wasn¡¯t happy to be single. The reason I said that was because I did forget something but it wasn¡¯t my homework, it was because I forgot to check others expression what they were thinking at the time she entered. You could say that I¡¯m quite well versed in terms of human psychology and reading their thoughts, this mind reading isn¡¯t the psychic type, I determine what they are thinking by looking at their body language and by a little of 100% accurate guess of the exact words they might have said at that time.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. And so the day continued, and from time to time I noticed my vision moving towards her unconsciously. Even I became so impulsive that I was almost about to go straight into the girls group to talk to her, but embarrassment knocked in as soon as I came back to senses what I was about to do and I survived. ¡°Well she sure is taking a heavy toll on my consciousness, I have to do something about this.¡± I mumbled to myself. And whenever I got time to be able to relax I meditated to keep my composure and so that I won¡¯t be get distracted from her presence. It might look imbecile but it is difficult as hell when you finally find the kind of person you have been looking for, someone almost like you. Afterwards I headed to the cafeteria in the lunch time, the only time I can be alone and peacefully and without any sort of disturbance can spend my time. That¡¯s what I really wish but that thing is nearly impossible because this piece of trash Itsuki won¡¯t leave me even for few minutes. He admires me excessively just because I¡¯m able to handle situations quite easily. The whole day he would follow me and keep on blabbering about girls this, girls that. And now since Itsumi-san is here he even got a new topic. ¡°Hey Haruto, what do you think about the new girl what she might be like?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, she might be the sweet and kind type like she said in the morning. Or she might be completely counterpart of it. Sweet my ass! She is completely like me from my perspective. A wolf in the costume of a sheep. ¡°Damn! I¡¯m even more curious about her¡­¡± As soon as he stopped speaking he waited for a few moments, and there it was¡­ that sinister smile as if he just got a fabulous idea which I was sure of wasn¡¯t good for me. ¡°why don¡¯t you go and talk to her, your charm will surely sway her too!¡± ¡°No, sorry but I think talking now is a bit too soon since our kind of that type you know ¡®misunderstanding-everything¡¯ type. I did rather wait.¡± ¡°Oh, come on! I will do something about that, I can ask other girls to make Itsumi-san talk to you!¡± He was jumping up and down like a 5-year-old child who just got his Christmas present and can¡¯t hold his joy. Why does he want her to talk to me that badly? this scum is surely thinking for himself so that he might get a chance with one of the other girls, what a manwh*re! ¡°How about the plan when I ask one of the girls to make Itsumi-san talk to you, and¡­¡± ¡°And what?¡± I can already see where this is going and it¡¯s definitely not good. And he finally spoke those words with such a joyous smile and arrogance. ¡°I will tell the girl that you would go on a date with her and she can do whatever she wants with you.¡± And¡­ I lost it. ¡°DATE MY ASS! DO YOU THINK I¡¯M SOME KIND OF TOY WHO YOU CAN HANDOVER TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT EASILY!¡± ¡°Sorry, sorry I was just kidding of course I¡¯m your friend I wouldn¡¯t do that to you.¡± I really want to believe that but what about THAT-THAT SINISTER SMIRK ON YOUR FACE, IT¡¯S NOT GOING AWAY. AND ITS SHOUTING THAT YOUR SINISTER PLANS ARE NOT JUST A FEW. But I obviously can tell him that, he will instead of stopping from thinking about he will start telling me all of his plan and make new ones¡¯ at the same time. Trying to keep my composure, I took a deep breath and swipe the sweat from my forehead. But still I really am sometimes downright terrified of him sometimes, who knows to what extent his desire to get a girlfriend might take him. These sort of people are force to be reckoned with when it comes to the desires of wanted a girl/boyfriend. He will not see whom he is sacrificing to achieve his dreams. Soon after the last 4 periods of my school ends, but my day doesn¡¯t end here. I have to go to my part time job because I have to pay all my school fees and personal expenses on my own since I don¡¯t have my parents and my guardian only pays half the amount. Well but I still love my job, it¡¯s because I work in a manga bookstore, there are different kinds of manga there, from the most trending and popular ones¡¯ to most garbage and outdated ones¡¯ but these help me too. Since I was a small kid, I have always loved drawing and making illustrations, maybe my love for art is the only thing I didn¡¯t fake one bit. Whenever I draw something good the praises I got from everyone used to overjoy me every single time and so I became serious and now I want to become an illustrator though that¡¯s a long way to go. But these manga here help me along the path I study their art styles and the anatomy to help me, make my dream become a reality, that sounded like a famous quote but also from a fairy tale. I change into my working clothes and get set to work. Just as I came from changing room a voice called from nearby. ¡°Oh there you are Haruto!¡± There stood a girl. She is Ayame Aiya, a beautiful girl with long black hair, perfect feminine appeal, her slim waist enhances her great body figure because of which she looks too hot. She is the same age as me and daughter of this bookstores owner and she is also one of the few people I like to be around because of her sweet yet assertive personality. ¡°Hi, Ayame-san¡± ¡°You again forgot it, I told you to call me Aiya.¡± ¡°Oh ok¡­ Then Aiya-san.¡± ¡°No just Aiya, you can drop the honorifics. [2]¡± ¡°Um¡­ Aiya¡± As she heard it, maybe it¡¯s my imagination but I think she blushed for a second there. ¡°Yes! Can I help you?¡± ¡°You were the one who called me out first.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not like I have anything to tell you, I just wanted to say hi.¡± I just noticed but maybe she has a little hint of red cheeks since I called her by her given name. We have been together since quite a lot of time but maybe this was the first time I called her that. ¡°So anyway, how¡¯s your dream of becoming a mangaka [3] going?¡± ¡°It¡¯s going smoothly, every day after finishing my shift here I rush towards home so that I can practice for few hours before taking a bath, eating and then sleeping. and the other thing I want to become an illustrator, mangaka and illustrator are two different careers.¡± Now when I look at it I actually have a little too tight schedule every day. I have to think about make it a little bit loose somehow. ¡°Well let¡¯s get to work before dad notices us that we are goofing.¡± ¡°That would be terrifying.¡± She totally ignored me about what I said about mangaka and illustrator. I took a deep breath before continuing. This shop is in quite populated area and due to that there are always a few customers at any given time except in the summer. my shift is of 3 hours and considering how much they pay me for such a short amount of time, I¡¯m truly grateful to Aiya and her family. And I kind of feel guilty that I¡¯m taking too much I work extra 30 minutes without any charges. Some people might think it might be for the praises that how great I¡¯m but no that not the case, at the very least 80% percent it¡¯s not. There are only few people in this world to whom I have no ill intentions towards, and yeah these are one of the few of them. And as soon as my shift ended as always I slowly walked towards the nearby corner and after taking the turn as so no one who knows me can see, I immediately dash towards the nearby grocery store to buy something to calm down my stomach which now by this time start growling with monstrosity. Cause except for the lunch break and breakfast I don¡¯t eat anything the whole day. And now after buying something I peacefully walked towards the nearby park to sit under the cherry blossom tree and enjoy my meal. This is my daily routine, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are exception, on those two days I have to do 2 more jobs. Only because of that I¡¯m able to pay for all the expenses. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m too poor or anything it¡¯s just so that I can live my life comfortably otherwise I can get by only resorting to one jobs and selling my illustrations. I finished my meal and started proceeding towards my home now since there weren¡¯t any other jobs after this I can head home to practise illustrations in whatever time I¡¯m left with. And today I already know what I have to draw today. The new silver haired girl. ¡°Nayu Itsumi¡± I spoke in slightly higher voice to myself, to which I don¡¯t even the reason why I did that. ¡°Yes, Can I help you?¡± The voice called from behind, I turned around half-expecting that it would be someone else, but sure enough it was her. Her silver hair shining brightly in the moonlight, those blue eyes which can be seen still as clear as day due, that pure white skin as white as snow and now that I¡¯m just 6 feet from she is even more fascinating than what I had imagined her to be. I want to speak as fast as possible but words aren¡¯t coming out, I¡¯m totally left unspeakable by her beauty, she is like a better version of me, at least 30 times much better. I gained consciousness and as I was about to speak, she interrupted. ¡°I¡¯m pleased that I finally met you, you see I know just like you what we both are. And I think that you were also trying to talk to me the whole day, weren¡¯t you?¡± She walked a little closer, now we were just 4 feet away from each other ¡°Yeah, well its hopeless to lie.¡± I was blushing as hell as it was too difficult to even look at her at this distance. ¡°Wait¡­ did you say ''also''?¡± Her face suddenly became red as if she had said something she shouldn¡¯t had to. ¡°Well¡­umm¡­ You already know what I meant¡­¡± She grabbed the edge of her skirt tightly as a way to hid her embarrassment, her cuteness was making my heart beat faster and on top of it she was blushing which made it even cuter. But I¡¯m also in no place here to tell that either, I¡¯m myself blushing and currently incapable able to keep my composure. Translations & Notes
  1. Honorifics like ¨Csan, -chan, -kun etc. are used to show politeness, sweetness etc. to someone in Japanese language.
  2. You drop the honorifics with someone you are really close with.
  3. Mangaka means the one who make manga.
Chapter 2 : All They Want, is to Be with Each Other As we looked at each other with our lost composure, we drew closer to each other, slowly moving our faces closer and we reduced the distance between our lips and were about to kiss¡­ Yeah like hell that would happen. As soon as we looked back at each other from the same 5 feet distance, our love-filled eyes which were giving comfortable warmth in an instant turned to ice-cold glares throwing daggers and giving the aura of two centipedes trying to devour each other, truly a terrifying sight... ¡°We should stop, doing this isn¡¯t going to get us anywhere.¡± She let out a sigh, and this time too her tone was charming one but it felt like it was more on the emotionless side. ¡°It would be better, if we just show our ¡®true selves¡¯ instead of the fake one.¡± ¡°It depends on your definition of ¡®True¡¯.¡± I replied in a harsh voice. Well now after saying that, I guess it was a mistake to have said that in such a cold way but if she is asking for true-self of mine, this is it. ¡°The way you just replied that is your true self. But I guess you are too dumb to realize it.¡± Jinx, she saw right through me. Heyyy wait a minute weren¡¯t the last words unnecessary? ¡°What a waste of such beautiful face, with that face such cold words don¡¯t go along.¡± ¡°You again switched to your fake side.¡± ¡°Tch¡­ so what do you want from me? Why go through the trouble of trying to find me?¡± ¡°I-I didn¡¯t do anything of that sort, I was just¡­umm¡­passing by¡­ Yes! I was passing by from nearby.¡± I can¡¯t help it but gave out a smile on my face, she looks too cute while embarrassed when you see right through her lie, it¡¯s totally obvious she isn¡¯t confident in it herself. At the very least, I don¡¯t act like that after getting caught. ¡°You just thought see looks too cute while embarrassed when you see right through her lie, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°N-NO, OF COURSE I DIDN¡¯T, WHY WOULD I? AM I A CHILD TO YOU TO THINK THAT?¡± WITHOUT A SINGLE BIT OF DOUBT, SHE SAW RIGHT THROUGH ME! I could feel blood rushing through my cheeks to ears, I¡¯m now in the same condition as she was and on top of that I gave away little trembling feet motions for a moment there just like an embarrassed child does. She was about to say something, but I was just right in time, I managed in succeeding interrupted her. ¡°What is it that you wanted from me?¡± I spurted out these words in a rush with the reason so that she won¡¯t be able to say a single word, the thought terrifies me to death that maybe she was about to say everything going in my mind again. I saved my dignity. ¡°Well no need to say anything in a rush but you did save your dignity just now.¡± She gave a small wink at me. I bent over at my knees symbolising a defeated man who just lost all of his life¡¯s reason to live. ¡°Well don¡¯t worry I won¡¯t kill you from shame. I want you to help me.¡± She again saw though me. How many times is it going to happen? ¡°What help do you want from a person you just 6 seconds ago merciless killed with shame?¡± She was again giving the flustered expression maybe she isn¡¯t good at asking for help. ¡°Umm¡­ you see¡­ since your class is full of normies [1]¡­ I want you¡­ to umm¡­ keep me¡­¡± As she was finishing her voice decreashed due to which at the end her voice was almost inaudible, and because of that I misunderstood it for a quite perverted scene for a second there, but it without a doubt was only my imagining. ¡°What did you say at the last again? Sorry but you were speaking to low so your voice didn¡¯t reach me.¡± She motioned as if mustering up the courage to speak again. ¡°I want you to be with me all the time at school.¡± Why did she have to say it in a way like it¡¯s a big deal, if she wanted to me to keep her company it wasn¡¯t necessary to gather courage like she was asking me on a date. ¡°But why me? You could have chosen someone else.¡± For now, I asked the topic which perceived much more importance in my mind than other things. ¡°I told you, they are not worthy of being with someone such as myself, all they do is talk nonsense all day long.¡± She is arrogant and full of pride; that was the impression she gave me by saying it that way. ¡°Are you not troubled by the rumours that would start going around?¡± ¡°What kind of rumours?¡± she tilted her head as an innocent child when they heard something completely unknown to their existence. ¡°You know¡­ the kind of stuff these normies talk about that¡­ that we maybe¡­ maybe are¡­¡± This time it was my voice going to the stage of being inaudible. ¡°Sorry, what?¡± ¡°I said they might¡­ think we are a couple¡­¡± I thought she might have had quite a number of experiences of with boyfriends and all, but when I said it she was frozen solid from shock and unexpectedly like when volcano erupts, many emotions erupted out of which the most predominant one was her cute blushing. ¡°Are you okay with that?¡± Since she was not speaking and hiding her face by looking down I thought I should better ask to keep the conversation flowing instead of carrying on that awkward silence. ¡°O-Of cou-course I¡¯m o-oka-okay, you know I-I had ma-many boy-boyfriends!¡± ¡°THAT¡¯S A CRYSTAL CLEAR LIE!!!¡± I took a deep sigh, it¡¯s now clear that she is pure angle and I absolutely can¡¯t ask her for somethings which included to do a task which might include boys so now I have to take the blame upon myself and have to take the job of the fallen [2]. ¡°Ok, so¡­ umm¡­ I will come up with an excuse to tell teacher so that I can sit next to you, is that okay with you?¡± ¡°Why do you have to ask teach for that? I thought we can sit wherever we want.¡± ¡°That would have been the case if it was the matter of same gender but since you are a girl shit-chat would take no longer than a fragment of nanosecond the moment I would approach you. So I will have to first find a believable excuse.¡± ¡°THANK YOU!!!¡± from her voice it was obvious that she was over the moon [3]. And in it she held my hand from both her hands. Her hands were soft and warm; her grip was a little tight like she was actually waiting to hold hands, and as a result it made my heart beat faster, my cheeks turned red, my blood was racing in my veins yet it was so calming and settling, it soothed my heart and mind to pure comfort and peacefulness. ¡°Ok then maybe you should head home. See you tomorrow, I will tell you my plan tomorrow in school.¡± When I finished I could see her eyes sparkling like a small child will when he lays his sight on a new toy. I could even feel little ¡®bouncing¡¯ movements she was doing; it didn¡¯t feel like a big deal to me, I just had to keep her company but it might have meant a lot to her.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Ok then¡­ bye and again thank you.¡± The very moment she asked me for this ¡®favour¡¯ of hers¡¯ I had a bad feeling about this, but my feelings won¡¯t let my wind to think straight¡­ I was downright fascinated from everything about her¡­ beauty of her appearance, way of talking, sweet melodious voice, her innocence and how adorable she looks whenever she got flustered whenever it comes to ¡®sensitive¡¯ talk. My heart was running a marathon and feeling relief and fully relaxed at the same time, it was indeed a quite difficult situation for me to explain, and certainly it turned out I was unable to even ask ¡®why¡¯ should I do it, how would it even be profitable for me. Don¡¯t take this in a wrong way but it was without a doubt important for me; I was endangering all the admiration I have earned and my fake persona that I had built, if it went wrong rumours can go being as bad as making me a play-boy. Well that aside now I¡¯m back at my home, making dinner; I hate to admit it but I have to always eat something with lots of protein and vegetables to keep my body fit and appealing, even if I want to I can¡¯t enjoy delicious food with too much calories like deep fried chicken or a cakes to my heart¡¯s content. I ate a full course vegetable meal for today¡¯s dinner, I¡¯m also quite well-versed in cooking too it is essential to learn to become a good cook to please women¡¯s heart, who could even think all of this is coming from a 15-year-old teenager. Anyways after I finished with dinner, I washed the dishes there were only a few of them since I¡¯m the only one living here. After that I took a bath and brushed my teeth. Exhausted and only running on last bits of energy, I went ahead and did the most hated task which every single student hates to the uttermost extent¡­ homework. It is really anger-boiling task to do after you have already spent so much of your energy and it¡¯s even more exasperating thing to do for me when it Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, not so much on Saturdays¡¯ since it¡¯s a non-working day and not have to worry about school, only have to do my part-time jobs. Aannndddd¡­ now my mind making excuse with the name of work to avoid doing this painful task. And then it crossed my mind¡­ I totally forgot about one more thing from my daily routine, I didn¡¯t practiced illustrations today. I can¡¯t no matter what postpone it to some other time. I took a deep breath and after cursing myself for keep chatting with her for so long, I rushed as fast as I can to finish my homework. ¡°Ah! Finaalllyyyy¡± I stretched out my body to squeeze out all the pain and fatigue from my worn-out body. ¡°Ok now time for the last task of the day~¡­ muaahhh¡­¡± the lack of sleep is showing all over my face, after this big, wild animal like yawn I got up from my normal desk and arranged all the necessary things for the next day and after doing so, connected my digital tablet to my pc and started my work. As I was lacking time I hastily yet skilfully started to make the draft sketches, I moved my pen, and the cursor moved in complete sync with it. I drew the draft sketches of a girl under moonlight standing beneath cherry blossom with hands behind her back and a cute smile full of life on her face, long hair and glittering eyes. Yeah, my drawing was of Itsumi-san, the plus side of chatting with her was during the time I got to capture some of the beauty of her, my drawing was not representing the true beauty of her like how we can only get glimpse of the fragments of beautiful nature yet we can¡¯t fully embrace its true magnificence within only one lifetime¡­ I finished my drafting within 2 hours and somehow able to make it before 12 o¡¯clock, now totally deprived of my energy reserves I slithered onto the bed not as a human being but in the form of a snail and the next second before I knew it, I fell asleep¡­ Next Morning ¡°BEEP-BEEP¡­BEEP-BEEP¡­BEEP-BEEP~¡± I woke up to the ear-piercing sound of the alarm clock, for some reason I¡¯m getting the feeling the alarm was ringing since quite a while¡­ I turned around on the bed to get a little more comfortable with my position and by the time I noticed I was already on the edge, before I could¡¯ve even gotten the time to stop myself¡­ ¡°THUD!!!¡± I hit the floor with a nerve-wrecking impact and the first thing in the morning I got was a great experience of bone-breaking pain right at my nose (it didn¡¯t break don¡¯t worry). ¡°OUCH!!!¡± I grabbed my nose and after 30 seconds or so of rolling on the ground with agony got up since now I was fully awake, I checked at the clock and got another tremendous shock. ¡°15 MINUTES!!! ONLY 15 MINUTES ARE REMAINING BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS!!!¡± as I was yelling, it gave me another shock¡­ it slowly and mockingly turned to 14 minutes remaining¡­ ¡°HOLY FUCKING SHIITTT!!!¡± I rushed to get ready since it takes 5 minutes or so to reach school while walking, I think I can cut it short to 2 minutes if I run. But still, I have to get ready for other things. I hurried up took a bath within 3 minutes, brushed my teeth in 2, did other important things (You already know what I mean~) in 4 minutes then wore my uniform made my hair in the 2 minutes (yeah, I have to do that every day, hairdryer and all) and in the last 2 minutes made a sandwich with eggs and veggies and rushed out still holding the sandwich in my mouth. Locked the door, and there goes your Olympic athlete going for his gold medal along with his faithful companion Mr. Sauce-less Sandwich¡­ ¡°I knew I was forgetting somethings well anyway¡­ Thank You for the Meal¡­¡± And there goes Mr. Sauce-less, he was betrayed by his own friend. Truly a short, full of haste and a tragic life¡­ Rest in Peace in my stomach until my acids [4] melt you. And along this drama ongoing I reached the school just in time, its 15 minutes before our homeroom starts but our watchman doesn¡¯t let us in, he closes the gates before the school time maybe it was principal¡¯s idea so that all students learn the importance of time in their lives or some other bullshit crap, so even if we got just a second late they won¡¯t let us in, what a cruel guy. I slowly walked to my classroom while wiping my sweet of and taking deep breathes to get my breathing under control and remove any other signs that can indicate that I ran. I course I can go without doing any of these things but they would start questioning why was I late and other things and slowly will start making their own theories like I was out with a girl till late night or I¡¯m a closet otaku that watches anime till late night or something, and of course that would also affect my perfect life so I can¡¯t afford to let those things happen. After arriving right in front of the class I just remembered another thing¡­ I DIDN¡¯T THINK OF A WAY TO GET NEXT TO ITSUMI-SAN! I took a deep sigh, now what¡¯s done is done; I have to think of something on the spot¡­ ¡°Today¡¯s not a good day for me.¡± I muttered and opened the door. There she was standing right in front of me, she had the look of worry and it turned into relief the next second, it was clear that she was waiting was for me and behind her I saw other classmates chatting in groups and standing around but from the corner of their eyes they were looking at us boys staring in utter envy and girls staring with little jealously on their faces. But oh well, this time I am Not going for the higher opinion of the majority, I don¡¯t care this time if they will think in a harmful way about me that can affect my persona, I don¡¯t care if their overall opinion about me goes down to zero¡­ but right now I just want this one person, the one standing right in front of me, even if I gain just one point in relationship with her I would still want to be with her, if I have to give away million points of everyone just for one point of this person¡­ I will take it without a doubt¡­ When I came to back to full consciousness, I noticed her¡­ blushing¡­ OH SHIT, I forgot that she can read my mind as clear as day, I slammed my face with my palm in disappointment in myself about how stupid I can be, letting my emotions runs wild like that even if it¡¯s still in my mind shouldn¡¯t had done it. I heard chuckling from nearby sure enough she read that too. I suggested that we go back to our seats and talk about ¡®the way¡¯ just by mind-reading and hand signs and as few words as possible. It¡¯s not like telepathy so it¡¯s not accurate but it just depends how efficiently you can understand the other person, and if you ask me she is reading me like a book that she wrote herself. We set back at our seats and when the suspicious staring stopped and everything was back to normal, we started to discuss our plan. ¡°So, did you thought of anything?¡± ¡°Sorry I wasn¡¯t able to¡­¡± she gave a disappointed look, maybe she truly had held expectations from me. ¡°That¡¯s too bad¡­¡± Now I¡¯m starting to feel bad for her. Then the light bulb lit up. ¡°Hey I just thought up of a really good way, but we will have to wait till tomorrow for it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s brilliant!¡± her eyes lit up again. ¡°Waiting till tomorrow wouldn¡¯t be a problem, but if it¡¯s ok to ask¡­ why till tomorrow?¡± ¡°Well someone was worried a lot and couldn¡¯t just sit still for the one they were waiting for¡­ and as a consequence, everyone grew suspicious.¡± I felt sorry, shouldn¡¯t have used such sarcastic way. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I shouldn¡¯t had done that, I got uneasy about thinking that you won¡¯t come today.¡± ¡°I¡¯m¡­sorry, should have thought about your feelings too before saying that¡­¡± We became awkwardly silent for a while. ¡°Well umm¡­ so about the plan¡­¡± ¡°Yes!¡± she said in the same manner as Chitanda Eru from Hyouka [5]. It was really cute when she did it that way. But I don¡¯t get it why did she get so excited? ¡°So¡­umm¡­it actually a child¡¯s excuse but our chance of succeeding is quite high. Tomorrow we would ask the teacher too change our seats and we will give the reason that we can¡¯t see the board properly due to low eyesight. It would be easy for both of us since-¡± ¡°Since I¡¯m new in this class and no one knows about me too extensively so they will believe easily if I told them that I have weak eyesight.¡± She is quite sharp, she accurately said everything that I was about to say, as expected of her. ¡°But what about you? How would you convince them for your part? Considering that you gave the suggestion about eyesight and you have been in this class since quite a long time¡­ wait I know that means-¡± ¡°Yeah I have weak eyesight in reality and everybody knows that already so that won¡¯t object it. And if we both ask together, our class teacher is quite a lazy guy so he would like to save energy and avoid trying too much to look for seats and hence would make us sit together. It would have been a different case if it would have been someone else but he is just that sort of guy; we are quite lucky with that.¡± ¡°Well it¡¯s true that a lazy person would do something like that but since I don¡¯t know the teacher too well I¡¯m not in the place to say anything. This is quite a straightforward and childish plan if you ask me, but let¡¯s go with it.¡± Ouch that hurts, it¡¯s not that I gave it a lot a thought, I just wanted to save the effort myself so I instead went with half-truth instead of a full-fledged made-up story. But if I truly wanted I could¡¯ve just said no to her yesterday itself, but I couldn¡¯t. Since I¡­no I mean we were incapable to come over our feelings that We Both Wanted to Be with Each Other. Translations & Notes
  1. Normal people but in this case it referred to people who were dumbfounded and would follow anyone without considering about the truth about a person or those who acted as sheep and would follow everyone else.
  2. Fallen angels from mythologies who sinned and were cast out of heaven because they rebelled against God to fulfil their own desires.
  4. Hydrochloric acid of stomach which helps in digesting food.
  5. Hyouka, an anime, manga and light novel series, in the mystery genre.
Chapter 3 : The Chaos Filled in Our Hearts It¡¯s new day and I¡¯m walking to school, nothing noteworthy happened yesterday except for few things most of them included other kids asking us why she was waiting for me and are we dating etc. Well to tell it truthfully, it wasn¡¯t easy for us but we successfully avoided raising any more suspicion about the thing that she was waiting for me, after we got the time to talk to each other in peace, we prepared a plan of what to do and how to explain¡­er... no the correct thing to say would be how to fool them into thinking that she wasn¡¯t waiting for me. What we did was easy but for the listeners¡¯ sake let me tell me specifically what happened and how we did it- Yesterday, In Lunch Time¡­ What she did today was horrible, she would have blown our secret and the fact that we are preparing to sit near each other would also had been destroyed, so now I¡¯m finding her to discuss how to fix the damage which we did today. Of course I can¡¯t let her take all the blame she wouldn¡¯t have waited for me at the entrance like that if I had been on time, wait a minute¡­ it was her fault to begin with but oh well here we are¡­ As I was looking for her unexpectedly I felt a little force like someone momentarily pulled my sleeve, I turned around to find her. Itsumi was standing but her head was hung low so I couldn¡¯t tell what kind of expression she had. Before I could have spoken anything she gestured to go with her at a different place since here too many people were there and she was right who knows from where Itsuki would jump out from. And she walked at a few metres of distance from me to avoid causing any problem, and obviously I had to act like I wasn¡¯t following her, I don¡¯t want to be called a stalker, and to tell about stalkers I have already seen too many of them following her everywhere she goes. Seriously she came just yesterday, at least let her become comfortable behaving this way to someone who just came can cause a little hearted person to get scared and leave the school immediately but maybe I¡¯m just overthinking it¡¯s not like anyone would actually get so scared. Well anyway we arrived at a quite spot but actually there¡¯s a thing that definitely wrong here¡­ ¡°Umm¡­ Itsumi-san¡­ may I ask you something?¡± ¡°Yes, what is it?¡± ¡°Why the hell did you chose the couple¡¯s spot of our school!?¡± It¡¯s our school couple¡¯s spot where we were standing, it¡¯s a place where the intense couples of our school comes to spend time. And to explain how it looks like, there¡¯s a large cherry blossom tree and from the two types of cherry blossom trees it¡¯s the type whose flowers¡¯ bloom all throughout the year, the tree has four beautiful wooden benches with flower patterns placed near the tree, and since it¡¯s near of school¡¯s garden there is an artificial pond nearby we students made ourselves. And since it¡¯s a couple¡¯s spot no one wants to be seen here and hence, no one comes here so that then can avoid any sort of embarrassment. It¡¯s quite an elegant looking spot and we are proud that our school has it but that¡¯s not the topic here¡­ ¡°You didn¡¯t know that this is school¡¯s couple¡¯s spot, did you?¡± I exclaimed with a little pity in my eyes while looking at this innocent cute thing curled up in embarrassment in front of me. ¡°O-Of¡­ cou-course¡­ I¡­ I kn-knew!¡± ¡°Stop lying again, you obviously didn¡¯t know, so what¡¯s the reason you called me here?¡± ¡°You already know the reason, about what happened today¡­¡± Well she is right, I already knew that she would come if I won¡¯t be able to find her because thing would be uglier on her side regarding what happened. And I could fell a little hint of distress in her voice, whoever made her like that I really want to beat that person¡¯s ass, seeing her like this is¡­ it is painful¡­ ¡°So¡­umm¡­ I have already thought about that¡­ about what we should do.¡± She said in a low distressed voice. ¡°Ok, go ahead. But before that¡­ I want to you to first know that you are not the only one because of whom the situation turned out like this, you don¡¯t have to blame yourself alone¡­¡± After she heard me¡­ I saw a sweet smile again coming back to life¡­ like she was relieved from a burden maybe when what I said earlier in the morning [1], she took it the wrong way and thought that I was blaming her, now thinking about that I really feel ashamed for what I did. ¡°Well what you said did made me feel guilty and burdened¡­¡± ¡°Crap¡­¡± she again switched to normal mode. I¡¯m glad that she is back to normal but she should stop that terrifying mind reading. ¡°¡­Thank you for what you said now.¡± she said while her head hung low Maybe she said thank you but since the voice was too low voice I might have misheard, why would she say thank you anyway. For few minutes there was an awkward silence, we both had nothing to say, then the main topic suddenly flew back into my head. ¡°So what¡¯s the plan?¡± I asked to keep the conversation flowing. ¡°Uh!¡± she got surprised maybe she was thinking something when I interrupted her thought ¡°You already have shown that it is easy to fool others when they think highly of you, so keeping that in mind we can just use whatever excuse we like and they would agree¡­¡± ¡°Well what you said is true but what do you want to say to others? Since if we both used different excuses they will still doubt.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I called you so that we can discuss what we should say to them.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± ¡°We will say that I was just checking out other students and teachers and was waiting for our homeroom teacher to ask what are the clubs our school offers since I had actually asked him about that earlier today.¡± ¡°Ok pretty simple that even a nursery student use and so what about my part.¡± ¡°Yeah it¡¯s pretty simple but still better than your excuse that you thought for us sitting together¡­¡± Well can¡¯t deny that because she has even included sensei [2] and if others ask him about that he can support us with that. ¡°And¡­ what about my part when we talked.¡± ¡°That¡¯s easy just say that you said ¡°Hi¡± and ¡°Good Morning¡± and told me to move a little so that you can enter into the classroom, of course in your ¡®gentleman¡¯ like way or should I say ¡®fake¡¯ way. Anyone would believe that since we didn¡¯t talk much in the morning and the duration we talked was equal to a normal basic introduction.¡± ¡°That even way simpler than I expected but since it¡¯s a lie too simple to detect, there are few things you should do to make it look like a truth.¡± ¡°What are those?¡± ¡°Since it¡¯s you, you might already know about the ways we can use to detect a lie.¡± ¡°Yes I do remember a few of them but can you repeat please.¡± ¡°Ok fine, first: don¡¯t include too many or any sort of negative words, since humans say negative words to reinforce their lies and positive for truth so we have to avoid negative words.¡± ¡°That¡¯s easy you already know me; I can easily avoid that.¡± ¡°Yeah I know, second: be confident, since we are telling a lie us humans fell guilty on a subconscious level and we tend to look away from the eyes of the person we are talking to, so be confident and look directly in the eyes. ¡°It¡¯s subconscious thing that we do so to avoid that I have to keep full control of my body and movements, it might be easy for you since you already have that perfect persona you have built since all these years, I¡¯m still a novice in comparison to you.¡± ¡°Well thanks and ouch those words hurt too, you know.¡± ¡°So any other things?¡± ¡°Well of course there are, third: use hand gestures, it¡¯s simple use average amount of hand gestures not too much, nor to less. And fourth: avoid saying small sentence in a lengthy way, you don¡¯t have to use to many words to tell them just use enough words that you believe are enough to tell the sentence and say it in the most straightforward way possible.¡±The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°Those are good with me too, anything else?¡± ¡°Those should we just fine to provide our lie a strong foundation and prevent any sort of troubles, anyone can use them to escape safely without any worries of their lie being uncovered.¡± ¡°As expected of a pro.¡± She laughed a bit and said in a mocking way. After that we talked for a few more minutes about stuff like how stupid people can be before she walked away first before me to again avoid being seen together by our classmates, I however didn¡¯t go. Why you ask? Because who wouldn¡¯t want to spend time alone in such a peaceful setting, cold breeze, beautiful cherry blossom tree giving you shade, pond nearby and if you listen carefully even amidst the noise of students¡¯ voice you can hear the birds chirping. But what beings have to end too, and the situation I¡¯m talking about now is¡­ lunch time. Unfortunately, the bell is about to ring in a few minutes so I have to go now. And so after that nothing happened and my day went on, after school I had today 2 more part-time jobs, 3 in total since today is Tuesday. That went pretty peacefully too and after that I did homework, practised illustrations, ate dinner and went to sleep at normal time. Present Time And so here I¡¯m, today thankfully I got ready on time as I was able to do everything on time yesterday and now I¡¯m walking towards school with other students who also came from nearby area, I might have met Itsuki too but I on purpose took a different route to school to avoid him since his house is nearby to mine and so we sometimes meet each in the morning. There isn¡¯t any reason to avoid him but he is just annoying. I might see Aiya because she is in the other section of my class, I might want to see her since she calms me down a lot and it feels safe and warm when being with her, she is the type of person you always want to be with since she always knows how to cheer up your mood. And as to why I¡¯m feeling down, to tell the truth I don¡¯t know myself, maybe it¡¯s guilt which have been stacking up for quite some time, and now it¡¯s have reached the point when it needs to be loosen up a bit, it happens to me every few months, just like a malfunction in a machine and now it¡¯s time for a little repairing and maintenance. But it¡¯s not really necessary for me to talk to her now since I can do so afterwards and it don¡¯t think that anything will put heavy load on me in such a short amount of time between the morning till the job¡­ and it¡¯s not like I will see her on this route since I¡¯m going from the complete opposite route than her. But these feelings of guilt, hatred, etc. can make me do mistakes and can become an obstacle in my way of thinking and doing things. From it sometimes I become a stupid and act like an idiot at that time it would be really dangerous for me but most of the time I just feel excessive amount of tiredness and feel really sleepy, it¡¯s just how my body works. And right now I can already feel like a lack of sleep, and it is taking a heavy toll on me. Sure I can let off my steam of emotions by talking to Itsumi-san too but she still isn¡¯t that trustworthy to me, I mean I met her just day before yesterday so how can I tell her about my weakness just like that, Aiya figured this thing out by herself and I¡¯m thankful she did, otherwise who know just how many secrets of mine had been revealed by my idiotic self. I reached school, half-heartedly wishing to see Aiya but as expected she didn¡¯t show up, I walked up the stairs to the 1st floor of the building since 2nd year class rooms are on that floor, the ground floor holds 1st year and the 2nd floor hold the third year students¡¯ classroom, and the 3rd and 4th floor are for club rooms. I somehow dragged my body while fighting against the feeling that I was carrying a really heavy luggage and took a deep breath to get a better grip of my emotions and reduce the burden so that I can make my body return to the normal functional mode temporarily. ¡°Seriously what a shitty thing to happen in the morning.¡± I whispered under my breath I entered the classroom which was still 80% empty since I live near the school, I always tend to come here before most of the class¡¯s students and now I can merrily take a power nap [3] to make my body little bit more active in comparison to this sluggish body. And hence, I took a nap as quick as possible¡­ When I woke up only 5% students were remaining out of 41 students and seems like nobody noticed that I was sleeping except for Itsuki who was sitting next to me but he already knows that I sometimes do tend to sleep, but it was unusual for him to have said noting to me after he noticed I woke up, and he had rather a sad look on his face, that was really unusual. And slowly I had myself started to feel tensed up by just looking at him, I decided to ask him what¡¯s wrong and so that I can lighten up his mood a little. ¡°So what¡¯s troubling you?¡± ¡°Nothing just thinking¡­¡± ¡°Okay so let me change the question, what are you thinking?¡± ¡°What I might have done wrong that caused you to think of me as a pest and so you want to get rid of me and go sit with Itsumi-san.¡± Hearing that huge wave of shock went through my body, how did he know? Who told him? Itsumi-san would not do such a thing, will she? A whole lot of questions started arising in my mind¡­ however first I have to get to know the name of the person who told him that. ¡°Sorry but why are you thinking like that? Who told you that kind of rumour?¡± I asked in as much calm way as possible. ¡°It was¡­ You.¡± ¡°Huh...¡± I exclaimed in confusion ¡°I don¡¯t get it why would I say that for you?¡± When did I say something in front of him? Did he overhear it from somewhere when I was talking to Itsumi-san? ¡°I don¡¯t have the answer to why you said that for me but you were saying it to Itsumi-san¡­¡± His words were full of cold-hearted feelings, he words were showing extreme levels of agony and emotional pain and how harsh his voice sounded represented that he was being barely able to keep himself under control from hitting me. When did I talked about him in front of her? No, wait¡­ now isn¡¯t the time anyway to think about that, I have to first handle the current situation, if he tells about that to anyone else they might start thinking that I talked about them behind their back too¡­ Before I could¡¯ve said anything to defend myself from being charged guilty, he spoke. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t tell anyone about your fake identity, I know you might have had your reasons. And as for the question you might be thinking when did I heard you it was yesterday when you talking to her near the garden at the couples¡¯ spot.¡± This time his you can see hints of guilt as if he was blaming himself that he might have done something to piss me off and cause of that I called him annoying and all the other things I did. ¡°I¡­ sorry.¡± I don¡¯t even have words left to say anymore. Since when did I started thinking of him in such a lowly way? How did I, no rather how could I become so cruel to one of my most precious friends? Yes, he is one of the people I can consider calling a friend, as to say how long we have been together, he was with me since elementary school, and he was the one who comforted me the most when my parents passed away, he had been supporting me in all the times. And here I am, looking down on the person whom I should have treated with nothing but absolute kindness. As my train of thoughts was moving at full speed and with as it was crossing each platform, I was more and more reflecting upon my actions and with that realization also came huge burden of regrets. As my thought was overflowing in the middle Itsuki interrupted me with an awkward voice- ¡°Hey¡­ she is calling you.¡± I looked over at the direction he was pointing at, which I had already expected who that might be, it was Itsumi-san. Without looking back at Itsuki and even considering about his feeling if he was okay with me talking to her, cause of course it might have hurt that even when he knows that because of being with her I¡¯m leaving him but even though with those feelings he still told me that she wanted to talk instead he could¡¯ve ignored her. Without any further consideration I asked to Itsumi-san. ¡°Why did you called me?¡± ¡°It¡¯s maybe time that we asked sir since he is just standing outside. When he enters maybe it would be good that we just go to him before anything upsets his mood¡± She said while pointing at the doorway where our homeroom teacher was standing. I didn¡¯t notice he was there at all, I was too deep in thoughts that he come and maybe since a while he had been talking to the teacher in the next classroom, he seemed really happy, well I can see why since the next door teacher is a female in her twenties. ¡°Umm¡­ ok¡± I said with uncertainty in my mind, like I was hesitating from this idea of being with her due to some reason. She waved at me as if she was saying see you in she was saying see you in a few minutes again but next time the distance between us will be shorter. I sighed and lied to rest a bit, the sleepiness I was already feeling since the morning was already enough but with all this going on now, I don¡¯t know how long I will be able to keep functioning normally. The guilt I¡¯m feeling right now is too overwhelming to bear. I rested a bit keeping all my thoughts aside since I¡¯m quite good at it because I like meditating so I do it quite often and just because of that I¡¯m able to keep my mental condition under check and avoid having a mental breakdown. And I think I can rest for a bit more since sir doesn¡¯t show any signs of leaving their talk for the next 5 minutes or so, since there¡¯s still 6 or 7 minutes left in the morning bell. ¡°Hey Haruto?¡± Itsuki said out of nowhere ¡°Y-Yeah¡± ¡°I know it¡¯s rude to ask but you do know about that right?¡± ¡°About what?¡± ¡°Looks like you don¡¯t.¡± he sighed ¡°Then let me tell you or rather remind this to the part of you that already have figured it out¡­¡± ¡°Figured out what?¡± ¡°She and you¡­ are the same, yet she is superior to you especially when you two are together.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡± I remained dumbfounded after hearing that, I don¡¯t know what to say about that. He said it in a very straight forward way but I still don¡¯t get it. What is he talking about? We are same, yet she is superior to me? I¡¯m feeling like I¡¯m unable to think straight¡­ SHIT! It¡¯s the mental state of mine, it¡¯s hindering my thinking process. No! not now at this critical moment, come on it¡¯s should be something simple why can¡¯t I figure it out! Ok I can¡¯t think clearly now, then use the other way, use your feeling to figure it out. Ok, dummy course time¡­ Let¡¯s see this straight what was the feeling I got after talking Itsuki? ¡®Guilt and Regret¡¯, ok first stage clear that was easy. YAY!!! Nononono!!! Don¡¯t celebrate yet and absolutely not like a child, think what is the next question¡­ Why did I feel guilt and regret? Umm¡­ Yes! It¡¯s because I broke his trust¡­ no, not just his, I did something that would hurt everyone. I broke trust means¡­ umm¡­ that means that I lied about something, wait! Yeah! that¡¯s right, I lied to them. No it something more than a lie, something related to it¡­ AHHHH!!! So frustrated! What is it that I did! No, don¡¯t get worked up yet, think¡­ what is it that like a lie and¡­ yeah what is common between me and Itsumi-san. I glanced over at where Itsumi-san was, and as usual she was smiling talking to her ¡®friends¡¯, she was a such a beauty it¡¯s hard to believe she is real. Wait! Real she isn¡¯t real, opposite of real, she is a fake person and that means what Itsuki said meant She and you¡­ are the same, yet she is superior to you especially when you two are together. it meant that we both are fakers, but when he said she is superior that meant she is a better faker than me we are both together¡­ ¡°No¡­ that means she was faking it since the beginning!?¡± Translations & Notes
  1. It¡¯s related to the last chapter when Haruto mockingly taunted Itsumi.
  2. Teacher in Japanese
  3. A short sleep taken during the working day in order to restore one¡¯s mental alertness, people like Einstein used to practice it since it restore a person to full energy for a short duration.