《Losing My Religion》 Chapter 1 Chapter 1 Confusion rolled through my gut. I stared at the paper, a chemistry assignment due tomorrow, while my girlfriend, Amber, hovered over my shoulder trying to help. Her voice was gentle and patient, but her twitching finger and contorted posture betrayed her impatience. ¡°Adam, all you have to do is add more of eachpound until both sides of the equation have the same amounts of each element.¡± That was the fourth time she¡¯d said the same thing ¨C or was it the fifth? ¨C and this time, just like all of the others ¨C I did not understand. ¡°But doesn¡¯t this,¡± I pointed to one side of the paper, ¡°just turn into that?¡± I pointed to the other side. ¡°Oh my god, no babe, some of them need to react in pairs or triplets or whatever so there¡¯s the right amount of stuff.¡± She ran a hand through my short ginger hair affectionately. ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to just go to a tutor or the professor¡¯s office hours? I feel like I¡¯m not helping at all.¡± I sighed, ignoring her taking the Lord¡¯s name in vain ¨C something we¡¯d argued about before ¨C and leaned into her touch. ¡°Maybe it would be better to get a tutor, but I wanted to spend more time with you.¡± She giggled and stepped away from where I sat at the desk in her solo dorm, moving over to sit on the bed and stare at me slyly. ¡°There are plenty of other things we could be spending time together for¡­¡± My mouth twisted into a grimace, but I quickly covered it up by wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and schooling my expression. That was another thing that we¡¯d argued about before ¨C or rather, that we¡¯d disagreed about: when it was okay to have sex. I was waiting until marriage, both as a religiousmitment, because I thought it was the right thing to do ording to God, and because I thought it was better for our rtionship ¨C that if Amber and I got along romantically without sex, we would be even better off once we were married. She disagreed. Now, I wasn¡¯t some kind of chauvinist that would only marry a virgin ¨C and in fact, Amber was not a virgin, she¡¯d had sex before we started dating ¨C but I wouldn¡¯t have sex until I was married, and that sometimes frustrated her. Despite my attempts to hide my reaction she saw through me. ¡°Adam, I¡¯m not even talking about sex, there are a million things we can do other than sex.¡± She sighed andid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, ¡°I just want something more than a chaste kiss ¨C just making out with me would be enough.¡± It was true that it had taken all three months of our rtionship so far for me to kiss her, both out of my reluctance to do sexual things, and out of a shyness to be the one to initiate. I nced back at my homework, feeling like I shouldplete it before doing anything else. She groaned in frustration when I didn¡¯t respond. ¡°Adam, if you don¡¯t want to do anything with me, that¡¯s fine, but I need you to be honest with me about it. I can¡¯t keep getting strung along like this.¡± The sheets rustled and the bed squeaked as she sat up. ¡°Do you even find me attractive?¡± I looked at her, examined her in a way that I usually didn¡¯t let myself. Amber was a sporty, medium height twenty-one-year-old with straight ck hair that came down to the tops of her shoulders. She wore a white tank top that revealed her ck sports bra, loose ck joggers below, and no makeup. Despite her casual state of dress ¨C or perhaps because of it ¨C she was extremely beautiful. Hazel eyes adorned a sharp face full of confidence, energy and sass. Even in a vulnerable moment, questioning if her boyfriend found her attractive, she still gave off the impression of being in control, of being the instigator. Of course I found her attractive, anyone attracted to women would. Then why don¡¯t you want to touch her? I shook the intrusive thought from my head. I was obviously just nervous and inexperienced, worried I wouldn¡¯t live up to her expectations. The best thing to do would be to push through my difort and give her what she wanted to the best of my ability. As my dad always said, ¡®it¡¯s a man¡¯s job to give his woman whatever she wants¡¯. I reluctantly stood without a word and strode over to the bed, climbing over Amber as her expression grew more and more excited. There were a lot of feelings I would¡¯ve had to sort through in order to find my own anticipation ¨C the nervousness that came with doing something unfamiliar, the dread that I might be doing something sinful, the inexplicable tension swirling in my stomach, and the even stranger burning heat radiating between my legs ¨C but I ignored them all, shoving them away in order to be as proficient as I could with my limited experience. I needed to be skilled, to satisfy her andplete my job, then everything would be okay and we could go back to normal. The kiss I gave her was fumbling and toothy ¨C not that I understood that at the time ¨C and my hands fell limply by my side without any guidance,pletely aimless. She worked into me, running one hand smoothly across my face to the back of my neck, and running the other down my hard, t chest. Her kisses were confident, with seamless transitions from pressing our lips together to her sucking one of mine to her biting me. A satisfied sigh escaped her, while I, on the other hand, only grew more and more distressed. I may not have had the knowledge to understand the particr ways I was fucking up, but it waspletely transparent that Amber was iparably more skilled than I was. My anxiety heightened, the tension in my gut coiled tighter, and the strange burning in my underwear only got worse ¨C and no, it wasn¡¯t just an erection; I at least knew what that felt like, much to my shame. We broke apart, with Amber grinning, and stared into each other¡¯s eyes. ¡°This is so nice,¡± She said, ¡°We should do this all the time¡­¡± I really have to do this more often? ¡°Oh. Sure,¡± I responded. Her grin dropped and her eyes narrowed, ¡°You don¡¯t like this.¡± ¡°What? No, of course I want to make you happy,¡± I pleaded. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, ¡°I¡¯m talking about you enjoying yourself for your own sake. Why isn¡¯t this enjoyable for you?¡± Her eyes examined me, digging deeper into my face than I wasfortable with. I picked the only feeling of mine that I could actually identify. ¡°I¡¯m just anxious¡­¡± Amber¡¯s hand came up to caress my cheek. ¡°You should let go of yourself for a moment, just do what you want.¡± Her eyes stared into mine,pletely sincere, ¡°I promise no matter what we won¡¯t have sex right now; I know how much that means to you. Other than that, I want you to just let go of yourself for a minute and actually enjoy the moment.¡± I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I can do this, I can be good enough for her. I nodded and focused on isting the desire I felt ¨C the burning, all consuming passion. It red up inside me, instantly responding when I loosened the hold I¡¯d kept on it since hitting puberty. One of my hands reached up to grope her chest and the other dug under her to grab her toned ass. The heat in me built. She moaned and leaned into my touch, utterly ecstatic that I¡¯d listened to her. My mouth came to her neck and I licked a spot before taking it into my mouth, sucking hard. The heat spread, radiating out from my hips to cover my whole body, burning like a fever. Her hips bucked when my hand slipped under her bra to pinch her hard nipple between my fingers, and she let out another moan. ¡°Fuck, Adam, where¡¯s this been?¡± I released her neck and panted, feeling sluggish from the overwhelming heat. ¡°I¡­¡± My thoughts burned up, leaving me absentmindedly touching my girlfriend, slowly slumping over onto the bed. At my response, Amber¡¯s voice grew concerned. ¡°Adam?¡± She pushed me off her and peered into my drooping eyelids. ¡°Fuck, you¡¯re burning up,¡± She said to herself, already aware that my mind was elsewhere. My thoughts swam, floating through each other and mingling into aplex idea soup. I let go, and everything vanished. ¡ª Feelings are weird. There are a hundred different things that I could mean when saying that I was ¡®feeling¡¯ something, from a physical sensation, to an emotion, to anybination of the two. I could be referring to an intuition, something I didn¡¯t know where it came from, or a bias that¡¯s built up from two decades of experiences. It was no wonder I couldn¡¯t sort my feelings out at the best of times, let alone at that moment, waking up in Amber¡¯s bed. I groaned, at least identifying a dry throat and a headache. Everything else was inscrutable. There was a dread forming, a tightness in my chest that said I didn¡¯t want to understand what was going on, that I wasn¡¯t ready. I didn¡¯t listen. My eyes opened, and anticlimactically there was only the white ceiling, nothing out of ce. Based on the light streaking across the surface, casting long shadows behind the small bumps, it was sunset, meaning a few hours had passed, but the passage of time was not as incredible of a revtion as I¡¯d expected. There was something wrong with the sight before me, however, even if I hadn¡¯t put my finger on it yet. Instead of searching for the source of the subtle wrongness that gued me, I instead sat up and looked around for Amber. She wasn¡¯t there. The eeriness increased. Why wouldn¡¯t she be here? If she went to get medical help she should be back by now¡­ I stood and pointedly ignored the way my body bounced and jiggled as I moved. My tail swayed behind me, expressing my irritation at the weirdness going on. Why couldn¡¯t we just have a nice study session? Instead, I gave into temptation and¡­ Amber¡¯s return cut off my train of thought and instead my mind jumped to focus on the way she looked at me when she saw that I was awake. Even standing across the room from me, her body hunched protectively over itself and one of her hands slid into the pocket of her joggers. Her eyes regarded me with suspicion, ¡°What the hell did you do with my boyfriend?¡± I stared nkly at her. ¡°I¡¯m right here¡­?¡± My voice was just another in the long list of inexplicable oddities. It was velvety, decadent, seductive, and undeniably feminine, despite its low pitch. I ignored it. Amber, on the other hand, reacted with a red face and wide eyes. I couldn¡¯t tell if she was embarrassed for me, for herself, or if she was angry. ¡°Is that really you, Adam?¡± My tail coiled around my thigh, squeezing it reassuringly, ¡°Yea, I don¡¯t understand why that¡¯s so hard to believe, I¡¯ve been here the whole time¡­?¡± Her face grew somehow more incredulous, ¡°You don¡¯t unders¨C¡± She shook her head and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards her bathroom. I followed and my tail released its grip on my leg to sway in time with my hips as I walked. ¡®Don¡¯t think about it. Don¡¯t think about it. Don¡¯t think about it¡­¡¯ I chanted in my head. My obstinance was inevitably broken when we arrived in front of her mirror. A cute red-skinned woman stood next to my girlfriend, stubby little horns growing out of the top of her head. A thin ck tail with a spade tip swayed anxiously behind her. Then there were the more¡­ human¡­ aspects of her body. She was shorter than Amber, had smooth, hairless skin, long, crimson hair cascading down her shoulders, and was¡­ physically remarkable. Remarking as politely as I could, given the subject, she had feminine genitals and rather prominent secondary sexual features, all in the same red tone. What the¡­ I took a break from staring at the body to nce at Amber and saw that she was staring just as intensely as I¡¯d been, although her expression was unreadable. ¡°You¡¯re a demon,¡± She finally said. I turned away from the mirror, unable to have this conversation while staring into my own glowing orange irises. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± I told her, feeling anger and shame growing in my chest, ¡°This is what I get for falling to temptation¡­¡± ¡°You fucking moron¨C¡± I cut her off with a re and a pointed finger, ¡°No, this is your fault; if you never tried to seduce me this would¡¯ve never happened!¡± ¡°How is this my fault?! Your dad was the one that must¡¯ve¨C¡± ¡°You did this to me!¡± I screamed, ¡°I should¡¯ve known better than to listen to a Godless heathen!¡± Amber¡¯s palm came up to p her forehead and she shook her head. ¡°You know what? I¡¯m done.¡± She stared into me, her features tense but controlled. ¡°I¡¯m going to go spend the night with a friend, and you have until tomorrow morning to figure your shit out and leave my room.¡± She towered over me with her newfound height advantage and shot me a warning re, ¡°You and me are done now, and if you mess with my shit tonight I¡¯m telling your dad about this,¡± she said, gesturing at my body. Panic shot through my heart. If my dad found out¡­ ¡°Fine,¡± I hissed, ¡°Abandon me to deal with the consequences of your actions!¡± She sighed and left the room, grabbing a bag and throwing a set of clothes and toiletries into it. I followed behind her and waited, wanting to hear her retort, wanting her to fight with me more than I wanted to ¡®win¡¯ the argument. She finally responded when her bag was packed and she was standing with one hand on the doorknob, looking over her shoulder. ¡°Our rtionship has issues ¨C it had issues. And whatever this is?¡± She waved at my body, ¡°You don¡¯t have the self-awareness to handle it, let alone while stubbornly ming me for it.¡± I opened my mouth to respond, to yell at her, but the door was open before I knew what to say. I jumped away, not wanting anyone to see me at all, let alone naked, and lost my opportunity to respond. Left alone in my ex-girlfriend¡¯s room, I huffed andid on the bed, staring at the ceiling once more. I curled in on myself, hugging my knees to my chest, and trying not to think about how I¡¯d just been broken up with, how I would be dead if anyone found out what happened to me, how I felt about what happened to me. You already know what they say about trying not to think about something. Chapter 2 Chapter 2 There was only so much time I could spend pouting, moping, and napping until reality caught up with me. While I couldn¡¯t bepletely sure what Amber had meant by ¡®next morning¡¯ I didn¡¯t want to risk guessing wrong. That meant either finding a way to transform back, or ¡®borrowing¡¯ some of her clothes, given that mine had vanished with my manhood. I¡¯d wasted the entirety of the night, and now, at seven in the morning, two hours before I had to be at my first ss, I was scrambling for a solution. I considered googling, ¡®help I turned into a demon,¡¯ but I was paranoid that it would somehow get traced back to me, a surefire way to be ostracized from my church group and hunted down by my father. Other than that, I¡¯d been praying endlessly, asking for forgiveness and for guidance. I hadn¡¯t gotten a response yet, but it seemed like if there was ever a time to pray, it was now. Thankfully, despite it being around the time I usually ate breakfast, I wasn¡¯t feeling any hunger ¨C at least not that I was aware of. I was, however, extremely aroused, something that irritated me to no end. I knew better than to fall to the temptation of lust again. After precious minutes of no results, all while not knowing when Amber would return and kick me out, I changed strategies. Perhaps I can try to control it, resummon my God-intended body with my mind. I knew that I was grasping at straws, but I had no other options. My focus turned inwards, imagining my body and all of the things I knew about it. There were the broad, bulky shoulders, the unwieldy height, the inconvenience of having a penis, but, most importantly, the humanness of it, the pale skin, theck of horns and tail. I felt my body shift in response to myst thought and I hurried over to the mirror to check the changes. Instead of what I¡¯d expected, the body I¡¯d known for twenty years, a normal-looking college girl stared back at me in the mirror. She looked every bit like the twin sister I didn¡¯t have: pale, freckled skin and medium length red hair. The main differences were in her height, which matched the demon¡¯s height, and her gender. It immediately stuck out to me how much her face matched that of the demon¡¯s; I¡¯d initially assumed that the demon didn¡¯t look like me at all, but looking at her human version made the simrities more obvious. Well, I suppose it¡¯s progress in the right direction¡­ I closed my eyes and ignored the temptation to examine the image in the mirror further, focusing my thoughts on the things that still needed to be fixed. A few momentster, everything shifted again, and I opened my eyes to normalcy, my everyday body staring back at me. Ignoring the fact that I¡¯d just shapeshifted, that I¡¯d been cursed to have a demonic form, that my girlfriend had just broken up with me, everything was looking up. ¡ª The rest of the day was strangely normal ¨C no one treated me any differently, despite the fact that I was a corrupted heathen. I¡¯d gone to my chemistry lecture in the morning and had felt awful about not turning in the assignment, and now I was in my business 101 course, trying to keep up. I was only half of a semester into my degree and it was already wearing on me. The endless drone of the old man as he exined a list of self-exnatory vocabry with the emotional range of a text-to-speech program enticed my wandering mind to think about anything else, to dwell on the events of the previous day, the fact that I¡¯d already started skipping assignments, or that I was one mistake from everyone finding out about my demon-ness. All of that meant that when the ss ended and my friend Chris approached me, I was startled when he spoke. ¡°Hey, man I heard¨C¡± I shot out of my seat, yelping in a voice that sounded more like demon-me than real-me. I really need to think of a name for her so it¡¯s easier to refer to her, not that I want to get used to her being around. Chris stared at me, concerned, for a moment before trying again. ¡°Sorry,¡± He shrugged his shoulders, ¡°I heard about what happened, major bummer, dude.¡± My heart raced. I stared back, feigning confusion, trying to figure out how much he knew. His brow creased. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I remained impassive, ¡°Yeah, everything¡¯s fine, what¡¯s the big deal?¡± I said a little too quickly. ¡°Uh, your girlfriend just broke up with you¡­ and that¡¯s a bummer?¡± I blinked. ¡°Oh. Yea¡­ it¡¯s a bummer, majorly so.¡± ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He trailed off, looking at me curiously. I nced away from his face to look at his body. It was the same as it always was, but something about it seemed more present, more tangible than usual. Chris was a swimmer, but was not at all the norm for the group, especially around where we lived. Most swimmers here were tall, skinny, white, and had massive shoulders. Only a couple of those were true about the short, muscr man with tanned copper skin that stood before me. The dark freckles scattered across his nose stuck out, and despite his normal expression of a crooked smile being absent at the moment, he had a kindness to him that never went away. ¡°So¡­¡± He swayed back and forth, looking for what to say, ¡°Did you want to like hang out or whatever ¨C help you get over what¡¯s her name?¡± ¡°Amber,¡± I supplied. ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He nodded slowly, eyes never leaving my face, ¡°Well, if there¡¯s something you need just text me¡­¡± He gestured to his phone and hesitantly started walking away, like he wasn¡¯t sure if we were done talking. I nodded and thanked him, excusing him implicitly in the process. I wonder why he was acting so weird, he¡¯s usually much better at socializing. I shrugged and started moving in the direction of my next ss. Maybe I need to check on himter. ¡ª Later the same day, I waited in my dorm room for Chris toe over. We¡¯d exchanged a few texts through lunch and our afternoon sses and eventually we¡¯d agreed to hang out here during the evening. Thankfully, my roommate wasn¡¯t around, although I did have to spray some air freshener to get rid of the musk of marijuana that lingered in ourmon area. I¡¯d been keeping myself busy all day, preventing myself from having time alone with my thoughts, so once I was ready and waiting for Chris, the thoughts started to invade. Am I going to turn back? If so, when? Is there a way to cure myself? I had endless questions and not a single answer. The only options for getting more answers ¨C talking to Amber about it, talking to a priest about it, or doing experimentation on my own ¨C all sounded out of the question. So I¡¯d just have to live with the uncertainty for now, live with the knowledge that at any moment I could randomly transform into that¡­ thing. It still needs a name. I ignored the thought. It didn¡¯t deserve a name. Another thing that sprang up once I had a moment to think was my arousal. While I hadn¡¯t been walking around campus with a non-stop erection, my body had been oddly flushed and sensitive, and I caught myself staring at all the attractive people in my sses ¨C the women, that is, I wasn¡¯t attracted to men. Not that there''s anything wrong with being gay, it¡¯s just that I¡¯m not allowed to be gay, because¡­ well¡­ A knock echoed through the room, and for a moment I panicked, thinking my roommate had returned, before I remembered that he wouldn¡¯t knock. I opened the door and let Chris in without a word, taking in his appearance again. He wore a sweat-stained tank top and exercise shorts, which made sense, given that he¡¯d juste from the gym. He¡¯d suggested taking the time to shower, but given that my dorm was right next to the campus gym while his was further away, near the poolplex, it made more sense for him toe straight here. The effect that I¡¯d noticed earlier, of him appearing more tangible than usual was more pronounced, and I could smell something sweet in the air, as if the sweat coating his muscles was actually a ze. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thought. It was probably one of her thoughts, the one that didn¡¯t deserve a name. We sat down on the futon couch ¨C an old creaky piece of wood that was held together by splinters and duct tape ¨C and stared at each other. After a moment of silence passed Chris cleared his throat. ¡°So, how are you handling everything?¡± I jolted, thinking he knew, not for the first time today, but I quickly realized he was talking about the breakup, something I¡¯d hardly had time to register. ¡°Oh¡­ You know how it is,¡± I said, waving my hand flippantly, hoping for him to fill in the nks. He leaned back into the couch, one arm draped over the back, and stared into the nk television across from us. ¡°Yeah, I guess.¡± He said, sounding unsure. He continued a momentter, ¡°I really don¡¯t though, because I¡¯ve never dated anyone, so¡­¡± I turned to him, surprised, ¡°Really? A handsome, kind guy like you? Girls must ask you out all of the time.¡± He blushed, turning away for a moment. ¡°Yea, that¡¯s the issue, I¡¯m more into guys.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Don¡¯t be like your dad, don¡¯t be like your dad, don¡¯t be like your dad. ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with being gay,¡± I told him. He snorted, stifling a fullugh. ¡°Uh, yea, thanks for letting me know¡­¡± ¡°No problem,¡± I responded absentmindedly, mind still stuck on all those poor women that asked him out only to be rejected. Another shake of my head banished the strange thoughts in my head and bottled up my feelings. It had been getting harder and harder to control my thoughts throughout the day, something that was surely her fault, and maybe Amber¡¯s too. After another long moment of silence, Chrisughed to himself. ¡°You know, it¡¯s kind of funny,¡± he started. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I used to be into you,¡± he told me, stillughing a bit. My mind honed in on the important part. ¡°Used to?¡± He shot me a sly grin and leaned his shoulder into mine, pressing part of his warm body heat into me. ¡°Why, you disappointed I¡¯m not still into you?¡± I tried to lean away, but found myself trapped against the armrest, my hips sliding towards him instead and my back falling down onto the seat. ¡°Uh, no¡­¡± I stammered, trying to figure out why he felt so warm and why he smelled so good. I gathered someposure. ¡°I was just wondering what changed.¡± He tower over me, giving me his crooked grin, ¡°Well, it turns out you aren¡¯t my type, personality wise, ¡° he shrugged, ¡°You¡¯re still damn cute though, so if you ever want to experiment¡­¡± His grin grew wider and he leaned in, not close enough to actually kiss me, but well past the point where the idea was forced into my mind. The heat I was feeling built, and before I¡¯d figured out what it was, there was a ¡®pop¡¯ and I reflexively closed my eyes as my body shifted. Oh no. Chapter 3 Chapter 3 I heard Chris gasp and then scramble away from me on the couch. We sat in silence afterwards, with me hoping that she wasn¡¯t back, and him probably getting ready to run and find a priest. While Chris wasn¡¯t someone I knew from church ¨C we¡¯d met a few weeks earlier during our first sses ¨C I¡¯d think most people¡¯s instincts when confronted with a demon would be to find some kind of exorcist. Even worse, all of the things I¡¯d been struggling with during the day were amplified with my transformation: the insatiable arousal, the distracting scent in the air, the wandering mind. ¡°Dude¡­¡± His voice wavered, sounding equal parts incredulous and concerned. ¡°It¡¯s not what it looks like,¡± I insisted, my smooth, deep, feminine voice sounding just like the previous time. ¡°Dude, you¡¯re a subus!¡± I opened my eyes to see him pointing at me petntly, as if my curse was something I was greedily hogging to myself and not a horrible affliction that was going to ruin my life. ¡°No, I¡¯m definitely not a subus, I don¡¯t even want to know where you got that idea.¡± ¡°With honkers like those? You¡¯re definitely s¡¯n.¡± His crooked grin came back, as if we were just two dudes hanging out making jokes. I stared at him. Why did he have to put it so crudely? And was that supposed to be a pun? I shook my head, ¡°It¡¯s just a stupid curse, it¡¯s what I get for giving in to lust.¡± My tail itched against the rough fabric of the couch as I sat up. ¡°It¡¯s a test, and when I show that I can control myself then He will cure me.¡± His grin turned to a puzzled frown. ¡°You don¡¯t have to give me the whole spiel ¨C I¡¯m in the know,¡± he said, as if that meant something. I red at him, ¡°Clearly you don¡¯t know anything if you think I¡¯m some kind of demonic pervert,¡± I stood and moved to the other side of the room, staring at the wall and trying not to think about the fact that I was naked again or the fact that I¡¯d seen Chris staring at my ass when I¡¯d stood. ¡°Give me a second to change back ¨C and stay away from me, your smell is distracting.¡± My focus turned inwards, away from the sweet smell that lingered in the air, honing in on my image of my body. A short momentter I was back, in my normal body, clothed. I turned back around. ¡°Dude, you¡¯re like a cuter mini-you!¡± And his darn grin is back¡­ I nced down at myself, trying to figure out what went wrong, and realized that I was still the height of the demon, rather than my height. I closed my eyes and shifted again, but as I did, the feeling was strained, like I¡¯d just overworked a muscle. My vision swam and a wave of exhaustion washed over me. ¡°Dude, are you okay?¡± Chris jumped to my side and held me up with his strong arms ¨C not that I needed it. I stumbled away from him and swayed on my feet. ¡°Dude this, dude that ¨C this is serious,¡± I snapped. ¡°Oh, yea I guess you¡¯re a gal, huh,¡± he rubbed the stubble on his chin contemtively, ¡°Why are you even shapeshifted into a dude in the first ce?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a damn demon, you moron, just get out if you aren¡¯t going to be helpful!¡± He must be corrupted too if he made me transform. I need him gone before he tries to tempt me again. He shrunk back, hurt. ¡°But¨C¡± I pressed on, snarling in his face. ¡°You¡¯re just some sick pervert that thinks he can take advantage of my affliction. Well, it won¡¯t work!¡± I dered righteously. He winced. ¡°I¨C¡± I cut him off with a stern point to the door. He reluctantly shuffled away, turning back in the doorway as he was leaving. ¡°If you need anything just text me¡­¡± The door shut, blowing another wave of the sweet air across the room. I hurried to my bedroom and opened the window to let in fresh air, eager to escape from temptations. For as much as I was resolute in my virtues, I didn¡¯t want to make it needlessly harder on myself. ¡ª The next day was draining. Thursdays were often draining, in the same ways that the other weekdays were, but this one in particr drove me to exhaustion with a multi-pronged attack. There were the boring lectures, already a staple of my young life. Then there was theck of anyone to rely on. Chris was the only friend I had in my major, and I wasn¡¯t speaking to him. And I wasn¡¯t even thinking about Amber¡­ Even worse than not having anyone to talk to was the worry that at any moment Chis or Amber could let my secret slip andpletely ruin my life. And it wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d given them any good reasons not to. Most exhausting, however, was my body. Ever since myst transformation, the one to fix my height in front of Chris, I¡¯d felt drained, and it had only been getting worse. No amount of naps or food alleviated it, nor did the prayers the previous evening. I was starting to grow desperate. Part of my agreement with my father for going to college was that I went into business like he wanted me to, I got good grades, and I didn¡¯t fall into debauchery like the others. If I failed any of those, I¡¯d be back at his house, training to be a priest under him, and, as much as I liked our churchmunity and had faith in the Lord, it did not feel like the right path for me. So I was desperate, knowing that I was already failing morally half a semester in, and given how exhausted I felt, failing a ss seemed inevitable. My feet shuffled against the pale pavement as I moved in the direction of my dorm between sses. I had a couple hours of break where I was supposed to be eating lunch, but I wanted a nap, even if I knew it wouldn¡¯t provide anysting relief. Despite the fact that it waste fall, the sun beat down on me, making me sweat the little bits of energy I was trying to hold on to. My cks and polo shirt clung to my matted body hair, creating a sauna between my skin and the fabrics. One footnded in front of each other in an off-kilter rhythm, disturbing the peace of the flower beds between the varied architecture of the lecture halls and the winding paths. I stopped under a tall, thin tree with spiky leaves, leaning against the king bark and panting. I can do this, I can ovee this challenge. I told myself, trying to will it into existence. I pushed off the trunk and started stumbling again, continuing even after I heard someone calling my name. I¡¯ve had enough of peopletely. ¡°Adam!¡± A man¡¯s voice called out. My steps continued on shuffling, as if I¡¯d ever escape from someone while moving at this pace. Chris came around me and stopped, forcing my irregr gait to pause. ¡°What do you want?¡± I slurred, mind swimming. ¡°Dude, you¡¯re wasted,¡± He put his arm under my shoulder and held me upright, moving me along the path much quicker than I could hope to travel alone. I mumbled back at him grumpily. He continued, unperturbed, ¡°I¡¯m taking you to the health building.¡± ¡°No¡­ I just need a bit of a recharge,¡± I managed, scared that my dad would find out somehow. His eyes widened. ¡°Oh, I see¡­¡± We continued on to my dorm room, meining and him reassuring me the whole way. It¡¯s amazing, the lengths sinners will go to try to tempt me¡­ Once we finally arrived in my room and heid me on my bed, he hovered awkwardly. ¡°So¡­ Do you need help recharging?¡± he asked. What is he talking about? I shook my head, flopping my cheeks onto my pillow repeatedly. Why do I feel so cold? While he¡¯d been close to me, there¡¯d been a satisfying warmth that had paradoxically warded away the overwhelming heat of my fever and the sun. Now, alone in my bed, it was fading, and my body was feeling much worse. Chris hesitated, conflicted between leaving like I¡¯d asked, and staying anyways. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into bed, ignoring the cute yelp he let out. I need this. Once he wasying next to me, I wrapped myself around him, stering as much of our skin together as I could to absorb his soothing energy. ¡°Adam?! Hello?¡± I basked in the feeling, letting out a satisfied noise, and allowing my eyes to close. I wanted to nap anyway, what does it matter if there¡¯spany? ¡ª There were a lot of kinds of sleep. The kind most people are familiar with ¨C the ¡®not quite perfect but good enough¡¯ of having to get up just a bit earlier than you want ¨C came to mind first, but that was just the start. There was the kind of sleep you got from having bone-deep exhaustion, the mid-day nap, the restless nightmare ¨C there were too many to count. None of them I would describe as orgasmic ¨C even a wet dream didn¡¯t feel orgasmic, it felt embarrassing. When I woke up on Thursday evening, still wrapped around a wide-eyed Chris, however, it did feel orgasmic. My body thrummed with power as I yawned and stretched out my muscles; all of the exhaustion I¡¯d been feeling waspletely gone. ¡°Uh.. Adam¡­?¡± ¡°Shh,¡± I shushed him and slowly extracted myself from his body, startling when I realized that I¡¯d transformed in my sleep. Shoot, does that count as giving into temptation? It felt like I was going to die if I didn¡¯t do something¡­ I shifted back to my normal, clothed body, taking a second to make sure everything was as it should be. The power I¡¯d felt quieted, leaving me feeling empty and weak, but not nearly as bad as earlier in the day. With a clearer head I was able topartmentalize all of the intrusive feelings I¡¯d been having and analyze my conduct with a clear mind. I grimaced, thinking about how I¡¯dshed out at Chris. It was clear that he was just trying to help, even if he was a bit misguided, and if he was going to be guided on to the correct side of faith, it wouldn¡¯t be helpful to alienate him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Chris.¡± He sat up, running a hand through his short, spiky, hair. ¡°For¡­¡± One of his eyebrows raised, waiting for me to say the wrong thing. ¡°For how I acted earlier. I wasn¡¯t feeling like myself¡­¡± I trailed off, trying not to think about everything guing me. He sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll ept your apology on one condition.¡± I inhaled sharply. With ckmail like this, he could ask for anything¡­ ¡°What do you want?¡± I asked hesitantly. ¡°You need to let me help you.¡± I stared at him. He shook his head. ¡°You clearly aren¡¯t figuring out this on your own, and although I don¡¯t know much about subi, I can still help out¡­¡± He nced down at the bed, where we¡¯d just beenying together and cleared his throat, ¡°Not like that! I just meant like¡­ figuring out all of your quirks and powers or whatever.¡± I sighed. ¡°I still don¡¯t agree with the assessment that I¡¯m a subus, but we can agree to disagree for now. I¡¯m thankful for your help,¡± I managed, fighting the urge tosh out again. The practical side of my brain was in control, doing its best to make sure I would survive and stay in college, as much as the morality of studying the demon inhabiting me made me wary. Chis¡¯ crooked smile returned. ¡°So, I guess we¡¯ll be working together on this from now on?¡± I nodded. ¡°I suppose so¡­¡± Chapter 4 Chapter 4 How could one be a college student while infected by a demon ¨C possessed, manifesting sin, however you wanted to phrase it? It seemed like simultaneously a very important thing and a triviality. Sure, anyone could go to college if you paid the tuition and followed the rules, but how could you function, with all of the things that came along with demonic nonsense? I¡¯d been collecting data for Chris and I to go over for the past two days, and, now that it was Saturday evening, three days since this nonsense started, we wereparing notes and theories, sitting next to each other on my bed. ¡°So, what else have you noticed?¡± he asked me. I blushed, not wanting to talk about it all with him, but also knowing that I needed a second opinion to make sure I didn¡¯t miss anything ¨C even if he was still insistent that I was a subus. ¡°Uh¡­ So, certain people smell different¡­ And it¡¯s usually the same people, like I¡¯ll go to ss with the same people and I¡¯ll notice that they smell sweet or whatever.¡± His mouth twisted and he scratched his cheek. ¡°And you¡¯re sure it¡¯s not just enhanced senses, that you¡¯re smelling something other than their shampoo?¡± I nodded. ¡°Yeah, I can smell your shampoo, but there¡¯s also something else¡­¡± He blushed as well and turned away. ¡°So, I¡¯m one of those people?¡± ¡°Yea¡­¡± ¡°And is it mostly men, mostly women?¡± I don¡¯t like where this is going¡­ ¡°Mostly women, but plenty of men too¡­¡± ¡°Huh.¡± I red at him. ¡°Don¡¯t ¡®huh¡¯ me, if you have something to say, then spit it out.¡± He chuckled. ¡°Well, since you asked, I think if you¡¯re a subus, then the people that smell good are people that you¡¯re interested in ¡®feeding¡¯ on.¡± He made air quotes around feeding as if I wouldn¡¯t get the insinuation. ¡°No, I¡¯m not a subus in the first ce because that¡¯s ridiculous.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°Yes, it is. Do you think I¡¯m some kind of depraved whore?¡± I waved my hand at him, dismissing the idea, ¡°It¡¯s more likely that I¡¯m sensing sin on people, and that the sweet smell is meant to test my resolve.¡± ¡°And I think that¡¯s ridiculous. Why would your god make you a demon?¡± He raised an eyebrow at me as if he¡¯d made a convincing point. ¡°It¡¯s obviously punishment for my sin,¡± I pointed out rationally. He rolled his eyes. ¡°And what did you do that was deserving of being turned into a demon, cum before your girlfriend during sex?¡± I blushed again. How can he be so kind and so crude at the same time? ¡°No, of course not ¨C I made out with her.¡± He stared at me. ¡°Dude.¡± I stared back. ¡°You¡¯re kidding right?!¡± ¡°...¡± ¡°Wait, are you a virgin?¡± I turned away, hiding my embarrassment. Wait, why am I embarrassed? I should be proud of my virtue. ¡°Damn, I was right, we would be so ipatible in a rtionship¡­¡± I turned back to re at him again. Is he being annoying on purpose? ¡°Let¡¯s get back on topic.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°Okay, so twopeting theories for what¡¯s going on, right?¡± He held up two fingers. I nodded. ¡°And if we can, we should test to see which one is true, right?¡± Another nod. ¡°If you¡¯re a subus, you should get some kind of energy from feeding on intimacy. That¡¯s something testable.¡± He gave his crooked smile, this one more smug than usual. Damn, he does have a point about testability. But what would be the best way to¡­ ¡°Hey, you¡¯re just trying to get your dick sucked!¡± I jumped away from him, off the bed, grossed out. I would never¡­ Heughed, ¡°I¡¯m interested in what¡¯s going on in that little head of yours¡­¡± He shook his head, ¡°I was just talking about cuddling, like we did when you were tiredst time. I think the first time was enough evidence to prove that something subus rted is going on, but if you need more evidence then¡­¡± He shrugged. ¡°Well it wouldn¡¯t make sense to test what we already know¡­¡± I stared at him with narrowed eyes. He shrugged. ¡°Whatever you want to test, dude.¡± I cringed at him saying ¡®dude¡¯ again. Couldn¡¯t he take this more seriously ¨C be less casual? I stared at him, looking up and down Chris¡¯ body. He wore a pair of tight ck pants, a white t-shirt, and an unbuttoned red nnel. It was casual and timeless and made him look great ¨C objectively speaking. Not that it mattered what he looked like; we were just experimenting. Experimenting with my powers, that is, not experimenting with¡­ I walked to where he sat at the edge of my bed and stood in between his spread legs, looking down on him. Wait, I should be her if I¡¯m experimenting, right? A moment of closed eyester and my red skin was exposed to Chris. My tail waved slowly behind me, curling, stretching, and enjoying its rare freedom. All of the sinful feelings came back, including the arousal ¨C especially the arousal ¨C making it all too easy to justify what I was nning on doing. With my new height, my face was conveniently closer to his. I brought it even closer, leaning in and looking anywhere but his eyes. It¡¯s not gay because I¡¯m a girl right now¡­ Kissing a man was a lot different than kissing a woman, but somehow exactly the same. Obviously, I didn¡¯t have a lot of experience to make sweeping statements about what was generally true about each group, but from what I knew about gender, there wasn¡¯t anything that separated all men from all women. Sure, men tended to have more facial hair than women, and that affected how it felt to kiss them, but some women had facial hair, and some men didn¡¯t. Therefore, it was only natural that I enjoyed the kiss. Kissing is something that most people found enjoyable, and given that Chris was someone I liked ¨C was someone that was likable, it only made sense that kissing him was enjoyable, regardless of what gender he was. Our lips pressed and twisted together, my handing up to hold his cheek as I went in for more. There was the softness of his lips, a very different kind of softnesspared to Amber, the roughness of his stubble, and the smell of his shampoo ¨C probably something like ¡®clean wave¡¯ ¨C reminiscent of an ocean breeze. Then there were the subus things. Yes, I¡¯m possessed by a subus, I have to admit it now. There¡¯s a limit on how long I can deny reality before being overwhelmed by evidence. There was the same warmth that I¡¯d felt when we¡¯d cuddled but concentrated around my mouth, a soothing pulse that calmed me as much as it energized me. There was also this feeling of potential that I wasn¡¯t ready to explore yet. And there was the sweet smell, which had only been growing stronger, transferring to the taste of the kiss,yering on top of my normal senses. My arousal ¨C her arousal built, radiating out from my lower stomach to make the exposed skin all over my body tingly and weightless. I finally broke off the kiss after a few minutes and pulled away, still refusing to meet his eyes. ¡°Adam¡­¡± His voice came out in a breathless plea. ¡°Lily,¡± I corrected absentmindedly, ¡°When I¡¯m like this, call me Lily.¡± Heughed andid back onto the bed. ¡°So, Lily, what¡¯s the verdict?¡± I turned away from his smug voice and started focusing on shapeshifting, on getting clothed again. ¡°I¡¯m possessed by a subus¡­¡± I admitted reluctantly. My body shifted, and suddenly I was clothed and tailless again. I turned to finally meet his gaze, only to see him staring at me with wide eyes. I nced down, trying to find what was wrong. ¡°What? Are my clothes wrong?¡± My clothes felt wrong, like they weren¡¯t the right size, but nothing else seemed off. ¡°Damn, Lily I didn¡¯t know you could do that¡­¡± He said, ncing up and down my body. I red at him, wincing for a moment when I tried to flick my tail in annoyance but it wasn¡¯t there, causing me to strain a muscle in my lower back. ¡°What are you talking about? Just because I¡¯m a virgin doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t kiss.¡± I pouted ¨C frowned sternly. Heughed again, shing me his crooked smile. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant, but you¡¯re right, the kiss was very good.¡± He rolled on his side, facing me, and brought one hand holding up the side of his head while the other waved at my body. ¡°I meant the human version of Lily. It¡¯s cute ¨C suits you.¡± My gaze flickered down, my cheeks flushing as I realized that I¡¯d somehow not noticed the prominent chest that Lily had ¨C and that I wasn¡¯t supposed to have. One more shapeshift and I was back to guy mode. Chris raised an eyebrow at me. Another shapeshift and I was back to the correct height again. I sighed. If I keep messing up the shapeshifting I¡¯m going to need to harvest more energy¡­ I didn¡¯t let myself acknowledge the way the prospect excited me. Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Originally, when my dad had been deciding which college I would attend, he¡¯d been nning on sending me out-of-state to a private religious school. Ultimately, he¡¯d ended up valuing being able to check on me and keep me attending the same church while at the local college over the more exclusive option. Now, going to church on Sunday with a demon inside me, I wished he¡¯d have sent me away. I¡¯d strategically chosen to arrive just as the sermon was supposed to start, to give my dad as little time to question me as possible, but ¨C as I probably deserved ¨C I was unlucky. I stood in the middle aisle of the church, nodding along to what my dad was saying, desperately waiting for the pastor to finally arrive ¨C five minuteste ¨C and allow me to take my seat in the pews. ¡°So, son, how''s your studiesing? You ready to be a billionaire yet?¡± He smiled and ruffled my hair, an affection that would¡¯ve normally filled me with pride and satisfaction, but was instead twisted in my worried mind to be a threat that he was onto how poorly I was doing in school, the fact that I hated every one of my major courses and the secret I carried around with me. ¡°Any day now, I think that¡¯s the next unit we¡¯re going to cover,¡± Iughed, reciting my lines from within my bag of skin. He¡¯dtched onto the idea that my business degree would make me rich for some reason, and it was the only idea he liked about me being in college. He¡¯d even told me to avoid any religious sses, saying that I¡¯d be corrupted by their liberal ideas. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to stay away from those parties,¡± Another one of his boisterousughs echoed across the walls, ¡°They were crazy when I was in college, and you don¡¯t need that kind of temptation in your life.¡± I nodded, catching the subtext that he¡¯d gone to those parties when he was younger that I¡¯d somehow missed the first hundred times he¡¯d told me that. ¡°Of course,¡± I said, ¡°I don¡¯t need to make it harder on myself. In fact, I broke up with my girlfriendst week because she tried to pressure me into sex,¡± I smiled through the fabrication, feeling every bit as ill as I had on Thursday, when my energy had run out. ¡°Good riddance!¡± He pped his hand down on my shoulder in a move that was probably supposed to be congrattory, ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯s already onto some other guy, you know how those college girls are.¡± Don¡¯t think about Chris, don¡¯t think about Chris, don¡¯t think about Chris. I was finally saved when the pastor arrived and I had to take my seat, next to my bible study group, an assortment of other young adults that had been going to the church with me for as long as I could remember. Now all I have to do is sit through a lecture I¡¯ve already heard and hope I don¡¯t burst into mes duringmunion. ¡ª Communion ended up being a non-issue and went by as uneventfully as usual. What dide up during the sermon was something almost as distressing as bursting into mes would¡¯ve been. At some point during the lecture, I nced down and noticed that a scar was missing from the back of my hand. I quickly added it back with shapeshifting ¨C a risky move in hindsight ¨C and tried to go back to listening. The idea had already been nted in my head, however, that I might¡¯ve messed up in other ways and a close examination of the freckles on my arms revealed that, yes, they were different than they were supposed to be. So I fixed that, and then fixed a dozen other things, growing more and more paranoid as I did so. I shifted the same freckles around in circles on my arm, trying futilely to find the one configuration that would finally feel right, would quiet the unease building within me. Even once I¡¯d stopped, realizing that not running out of energy was more important than ensuring all of my moles were in the correct ces, the thought that my body wasn¡¯t mine gued me. It felt foreign, like the curtain had been pulled back and I¡¯d only been a passenger in this statue of meat all along. Even giving in to my ever present arousal to notice that one of my friends, Sophia, was really cute, wasn¡¯t enough to distract me from the fact that Lily¡¯s demon body was the only one I hadn¡¯t messed up while shapeshifting to ¨C the one that felt the most natural, especially when it came to the tail. By the time my group had split off from the rest to have our weekly study session ¨C where we used to discuss specific bible passages, but these days we just chatted about whatever ¨C the worrying I¡¯d been doing and the energy drain from my earlier shifting was starting to get to me. I stumbled into one of the stic chairs set up in a circle and wiped the sweat forming on my forehead. ¡°Adam, are you okay?¡± Sophia leaned over me, concerned, and pressed her palm to my forehead, checking me for a fever. Sophia was the kind of girl you expected to find in every bible group: blonde, pale skin, and extremely studious. She had round sses with a thin frame and always wore clothes in muted colors ¨C brown, mustard yellow, or olive. Her current outfit was a dark green tunic and cream pants. ¡°It¡¯s Lil¨C¡± I coughed into my hand, ¡°It¡¯s like a fever or something,¡± I corrected. The sweet smell floating off her was distracting me. ¡°Do you need someone to take you home?¡± Her voice was quiet enough to avoid attracting the attention of everyone else, who were likewise engaged in conversations in groups of two or three. ¡°I took the train¡­¡± I responded, absentminded. ¡°Do you want me to get your dad?¡± I shook my head violently. He was thest person I needed to see me like this. ¡°Do you need me to give you a ride?¡± She seemed to understand my desire to avoid my father. I shrugged ¨C or at least tried to. ¡°If it¡¯s not a big deal¡­¡± my words slurred together. How did I burn up all of my energy again, I¡¯m so stupid! I suppose the energy-replenishing actions I¡¯ve been doing haven¡¯t exactly been the biggest ones¡­ She helped me up and told everyone that I was sick, and she was leaving to take care of me. We received a few waves of goodbye in return, and I got well wishes. The rest was a blur as she took me to my dorm room. ¡ª I¡¯d been slowly gaining energy from her while she supported me, meaning that once we¡¯d actually arrived at my room, I could walk by myself ¨C or at least stumble by myself. My roommate was there, although thankfully we didn¡¯t see him, given that he was holed up in his room. Sophiaid me down on the bed and pressed her hand to my forehead again. ¡°Hmm¡­ I can¡¯t tell if it¡¯s not as warm as earlier or if I¡¯m just used to it¡­¡± She leaned over and moved her head towards mine. I scrambled back, ¡°What are you doing?!¡± The stupid sweet smell,bined with what Chris had theorized it meant, had been making me realize just how attractive Sophia was. I¡¯d admired her for a long time as a hard worker, someone that took our study group seriously, but now, I was also noticing how caring and gentle she was. Then there were the more physical things, the things I didn¡¯t want to admit I found attractive. The way her long slender neck looked so kissable, the way her height made it to where she would surely tower over me if I was Lily, the way her wavy blonde hair was styled so perfectly ¨C like seriously how did she do that? Girls are magic¡­ Those were all of the things I didn¡¯t want to think about ¨C couldn¡¯t think about if our theory on my random transformations to Lily were correct. Of course, all of that went out the window when she climbed onto my bed and crawled over to me, cornering me against where the mattress met the wall. In hindsight, she was probably trying to kiss my forehead, amon way to get a read on someone¡¯s fever, but at the time, all I could think about were all of the things I wasn¡¯t allowed to. Her concerned expression grew shocked as my body shifted. Chapter 6 Chapter 6 You¡¯d think that by the third time this had happened I would have a better response than awkward silence. Of course you¡¯d be wrong; to prepare for it would be admitting it would happen again, a practical concession my pride wouldn¡¯t let me take. ¡°Hi, Sophia,¡± I waved at her, hoping to get this over with and somehow trusting that she wouldn¡¯t react poorly, at least not worse than Amber did. ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡± ¡°Call me Lily when I¡¯m like this, but yea¡­ I¡¯m the same person,¡± I sat up and shrugged, feeling less tired in this form. ¡°I was a human for twenty years and then went off to college¡­ You know how it is.¡± She nodded slowly. ¡°Yea, I guess. I found out that I''m gay¡­ you found out you¡¯re a subus¡­ same thing.¡± Her eyes traced down my exposed skin. The budding realization that a lesbian found me attractive was oddly euphoric, a very different feeling from finding out Chris had found me attractive in my other body. I do need to feed¡­ ¡°Uh, so, I¡¯m not sick¡­ but I am low on energy¡­¡± She backed off the bed and stood. I panicked, thinking she was going to run away. ¡°Wait¨C¡± I cut myself off when I realized that she was throwing her clothes off. She joined me on the bed again, pressing our bodies together and bringing her lips down to meet mine. She kissed a bit like Amber, with a self-assured confidence, but Sophia was much more daring than Amber had ever been. Her tongue immediately gained ess to my mouth, causing me to moan as the intimacy brought a rush of energy and arousal. Our lips danced together as I joined in, meeting her tongue with mine. Sophia held my mouth open with a thumb hooked around my lower front teeth and licked the length of each of my four fangs ¨C which I hadn¡¯t noticed I had, nor noticed their sensitivity ¨C and then moved her mouth down to kiss, bite, and lick her way down my neck. She rubbed the base of my stubby horns with her fingers, a relief more simr to a scalp massage than something erotic. I hissed and moaned, blocked from covering my mouth by Sophia¡¯s arm. My hands drifted down instead, looking for an outlet to express my feelings, andnded on her hips, one sliding around the back to knead her rear, and the other stroking up and down her stomach, changing directions at the top of her trimmed public hair and the bottom of her chest. She¡¯d been on her side, leaned partially over me, but as her mouth moved to my chest, she shifted to beingpletely on top of me, her hips between my legs. My legs wrapped around her back instinctually when she began licking my chest, swirling her tongue around my stiff nipples. I let out a long moan,pletely overwhelmed with a kind of pleasure I¡¯d never thought I¡¯d feel. Wetness pooled between my legs, fueled by the pleasure radiating out from my chest, the feeling of her soft skin of her body against mine, the building energy I was harvesting, and the feeling of being so feminine. Without conscious control from me, my tail came between my legs to brush my own slick folds and after a few short strokes, my body seized up, pleasure rolling through me in a singr devastating wave. I rode it out, twitching and moaning without control, stars dancing across my vision. While I was having my experience, Sophia was climbing over me to line her hips up with my mouth. Without preamble, she pressed herself into my blissed out face, coating my exposed tongue with her tangy wetness. I licked, chasing the energy still building in me ¨C I hadn¡¯t found a limit on how much I could store yet, if there was one. She hummed in satisfaction, ending the silence she¡¯d held since before she¡¯d taken off her clothes. ¡°God, you¡¯re such a good little slut, lick my cunt.¡± I blushed, her words making me more embarrassed than our actions. I debated stopping to tell her off, but the prospect of getting this much energy was too enticing, so I kept licking like an obedient slut. My hands were on her back, pressing her further into my mouth, and my tail continued stroking between my legs, slowly building my own pleasure. By the time she finished and fell over toy next to me, my tail had ballooned my own euphoria into another crest, making me whine into Sophia¡¯s mouth as she slowly kissed me. As my pleasure winded down, the dread started to set in. That doesn¡¯t count as having sex, right? What even counts as losing your virginity between two girls? Besides, even if it did count, it would be Lily¡¯s virginity, not mine¡­ I snuggled into Sophia¡¯s shoulder as she wrapped one arm around me and used the other to stroke the top of my head, ignoring the feeling that I should transform as soon as possible, but that I really, really didn¡¯t want to. ¡ª I whined, trying to cling to Sophia¡¯s body as she extracted herself from my bed and got dressed. She giggled, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Lily, we can do this again next week.¡± I sighed and reluctantly transformed back, wanting to at least escort her to the door. I didn¡¯tment on the prospect of a repeat next week, given that I still felt conflicted about the experience. It was euphoric and soothing and amazing and orgasmic, but what if that¡¯s just the temptation? Surely the reason it feels so good is because I''ll be punished for doing it, right? We strode out into the living room and she turned around at the door, cing a soft kiss on my lips. I froze. She spoke, responding to my nk stare, ¡°I feel fine kissing you like that now that I know there¡¯s a girl inside.¡± She gave me a sly smile and then left, unaware of the effect her words had on me. ¡®There¡¯s a girl inside¡­¡¯ Is there a girl inside me? That¡¯s the form that I can shift easiest to, the one that takes the least effort, but isn¡¯t that just the trick, the demon in me trying to get me to sin? My thoughts were cut off by my roommate clearing his throat behind me. Evan, the man I shared my living space with, was not the kind of person I got along with. It was my impression that he attended parties more often than he attended ss, he smoked marijuana all of the time, making our room smell terrible, and he was effortlessly attractive in a way that annoyed me. Someone that parties all of the time should not be that fit¡­ He had shaggy dirty-blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and the body of an underwear model. Every time I saw him my chest burned with jealousy and irritation. He raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°Dude, can you keep it down next time? I mean, kudos to you that your girlfriend was screaming like that but¡­¡± He shrugged. My cheeks burned and my eyes closed. ¡°I¡¯ll keep it in mind¡­ And she¡¯s not my girlfriend,¡± I corrected, opting to avoid mentioning that it was me doing the screaming. He nodded approvingly. ¡°Damn, man, I thought you were some kind of prude but¡­¡± He nced up and down my body, ¡°If you ever want to hang at a party with me, hit me up.¡± He returned to his room with a nod, leaving me to stew in my embarrassment. The one time I do something morally questionable, and he¡¯s the one that¡¯s there? There couldn¡¯t be a worse punishment¡­ ¡ª Going to ss after giving in to Sophia seemed like a dreadful prospect Sunday night and Monday morning, but the reality of it was disquietingly mundane. Contrary to my expectations, my urges had decreased, including my arousal, making it much easier to pay attention ¨C not that it was easy to pay attention in my business sses. It made sense from the perspective of Chris¡¯ theory that I was just a subus ¨C the fact that I fed a lot meant I wasn¡¯t as hungry anymore ¨C but the experience made less sense from my perspective ¨C the fact that sinning made more sin less appealing. But that fact made me want to do it again, because the perceived risk was low, so in the end I was being tempted? The whole thing made my head swim, and I avoided Chris as much as I could, not wanting to admit what had happened on Sunday, and the implications of everything that followed. What would it mean if all of my discipline, the hard fought denials of masturbation and other worldly pleasures, if all of that was for nothing? It couldn¡¯t mean nothing; my suffering had to serve some kind of purpose. That was the attitude I took into my sses, especially my business sses. The professors droned, I scribbled down notes, rinse and repeat. It would mean something when I graduated; a more enjoyable major would be a less useful one. I also ignored the question Sophia had implicitly left me with, the question of the woman inside me. She was Lily, and Lily was not me ¨C not in a spiritual sense, not in a literal sense, not at all. Everything was going well until Amber talked to me while I was eating lunch on Tuesday. It was the one week every fall where it was truly pleasant outside, when the lingering heat from the summer suddenly faded and the frost of winter hadn¡¯t quite set in. I¡¯d gotten a sandwich to-go on campus, and sat out in one of the grassy fields, under the shade of a tree older than my earliest named ancestors. Amber approached from the side, the sight in the corner of my eye not noteworthy until she stood still next to me and spoke, ¡°Hey, Adam, how are you doing?¡± I flinched at the name ¨C although I heard it during roll call in some sses, it had been a bit since I¡¯d heard it so directly. I shrugged to answer her question; she was nearly thest person I would want to tell about what I¡¯d done. She sat down next to me, undeterred by my silence. ¡°So I consulted my¨C¡± she cleared her throat, ¡°I looked it up, and subi need to feed every so often or they¡¯ll die.¡± I continued eating, annoyed that even after only seeing me once, she¡¯d immediately figured out I was a subus ¨C or at least that Lily was one. Am I thest person to figure out my own identity? ¡°So, if you need help finding someone to¡­¡± she cleared her throat, ¡°Well, I don¡¯t want you to starve to death¡­¡± She blushed and turned away. ¡°I¡¯m not hungry,¡± I finally responded, hoping the statement was vague enough to not give anything away. She pulled a creased sheet of line paper out of her back pocket and started unfolding it, revealing long lines of math in ck pen. Her brow furrowed, staring at her work. ¡°I did the math, and even if you¡¯d only shapeshifted once and hadn¡¯t used any of your other magic, you¡¯d be noticeably low on energy by now¡­¡± Why does she need to be so insistent about this¡­ I mean, it¡¯s nice that she¡¯s concerned, but I have it handled¡­ I turned away to wipe the crumbs off of my mouth, hiding my blush in the process. ¡°It¡¯s possible to feed on things other than sex.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s true, but¡­¡± her voice turned disappointed and she frowned, ¡°I thought¡­¡± She stood, hastily folding up her paper again. ¡°Well, since you¡¯ve got everything handled already, I¡¯ll just be on my way.¡± ¡°Amber, I¡¯m s¨C¡± I turned in her direction, but she¡¯d already vanished. Amber, I¡¯m sorry for ming you. Chapter 7 Chapter 7 Midterms. It wasn¡¯t quite the middle of the term anymore, a mark that had passed sometime in the previous two weeks depending on where you put the start and end dates, but regardless, it was time for the first real tests of my college career. Academic tests, that was; I¡¯d already had ¨C and failed ¨C more moral tests than I¡¯d care to list. Despite how poorly I¡¯d been doing on the homework, Chemistry was one of the few sses I was confident about; once I¡¯d gone to office hours I¡¯d understood the assignments much better. My other general education ss wasn¡¯t even worth mentioning ¨C as long as I remembered to show up I¡¯d pass the test. Then there were the trio of business sses I was taking. I couldn¡¯t tell you what the difference between them was, why I needed three of them, or a single thing that would be on any of their tests. In other words, I was screwed. I sat at the desk in my room, on Thursday night ¨C the night before my biggest day of tests ¨C cramming as much of my messy notes into my brain as I could. It turned out that I could burn subus magic to avoid sleep, and all it took was studying as Lily, a small price to pay. I would have to refuel at some point, but at the moment I was more concerned about my tests than whatever I would have to do far in the future. What me and Sophia did was pretty crazy, I can¡¯t imagine anything more intense than that. I¡¯m sure the energy willst me a few months at least. What wasn¡¯t on my mind were the rest of my worries. I wasn¡¯t worried about Amber, how we¡¯d left ourst conversation unfinished, and what our feelings for each other were. I wasn¡¯t concerned about Chris and Sophia, what it meant that I was missing theirpany, physical and otherwise. And, most not on my mind of all, was gender. Of course, I hadn¡¯t thought at all about Sophia¡¯s throw away line of ¡®there¡¯s a girl inside¡¯, why would I? Why would it be stuck in my mind, reying over and over again instead of the vocabry I was supposed to be memorizing? A nce at my clock revealed there were six more hours until I had to get ready for my first ss. Is that too much time left, or not enough? ¡ª Everything is over. I threw myself on my bed Friday night,pletely exhausted. I¡¯d failed at least one of my tests, and given that all of the business sses felt the same¡­ My phone buzzed. I groaned, rolling over and grabbing it. Chris:in over, be ready for a good time :) I groaned again and dragged myself out into the living room, unlocking the door and flopping face first on the couch. Adam: Let yourself in, I¡¯m dead on the couch. Midterms yed the demon o7 He responded instantly. Chris: UwU I stared at his message for a moment, baffled, before giving up and shutting my eyes again. Despite how subus magic made it to where I didn¡¯t need to sleep, after two nights of studying, I wanted to sleep pretty desperately. My face remained pressed into the couch when Chris arrived. ¡°What¡¯s goin¡¯ on in here?!¡± His voice turned disappointed, ¡°Hey, you don¡¯t look ready for fun¡­¡± I groaned. ¡°I used magic to stay up all night studying¡­¡± ¡°Where¡¯d you get all of¡­ Nevermind I don¡¯t need to know.¡± His hand came down onto my upper back, shaking me. ¡°C¡¯mon, man, I¡¯m taking you to a party.¡± Another groan from me. He tried again. ¡°Everyone needs to de-stress every once in a while, it¡¯s just practical¡­¡± My mind jumped to all of the things I¡¯d been stressed about ¨C the things I wasn¡¯t stressed about, given that I wasn¡¯t even thinking about them. I hummed at Chris in uncertainty, showing that his arguments were starting to work. ¡°It¡¯s just a chill thing, no drugs. People might sip some alcohol, but these aren¡¯t the kind of people to get wasted, and no one¡¯s going to make you drink, I promise.¡± I pulled myself up, my body protesting every step of the way. ¡°One concession and I¡¯ll go.¡± He gave me his crooked smile. ¡°Anything for you, babe.¡± I smiled slyly back, ¡°I¡¯m not going to any party¨C¡± Chris¡¯ face turned incredulous, ¡°Dude¨C¡± I held my hand up, ¡°But Lily is going to a party, and she¡¯s hungry.¡± His smile came back, bigger than ever. ¡°Duuude!¡± ¡ª After one false start when we realized Lily didn¡¯t have any clothes and we had to rush to the nearest department store to pick up underwear, ts, and a casual dress that fit her decently, we made it to the party uneventfully. I¡¯d imagined a lot of things when it came to college parties ¨C no doubt fueled by my father¡¯s warnings. I¡¯d imagined pounding music, seas of bodies, water coolers full of beer, and frat boys elbow dropping folding tables left and right. Reality was disappointing ¨C not that I was looking forward to any of those things. Chris took me to a boring suburban house where a couple dozen students were sitting around, chatting at a normal volume and sipping on stic cups of boxed wine. There was music, but it was just pop ying on a Bluetooth speaker in the corner, barely loud enough to be heard from across the room. The most exciting thing happening was a couple on the couch who were making out a little too intensely, but judging by the looks they were getting, what they were doing wasn¡¯t normal. Chris filled a cup a third of the way with red wine as I awkwardly followed him around, trying to resist the urge to pull my dress down every few steps. It was a tight ck thing that came down to the bottom of my butt ¨C at least it did in theory. In reality, my rear was so big that the dress was constantly riding up, made even worse by the way it clung to my skin. It didn¡¯t really matter though, because Lily ¨C even human Lily ¨C was promiscuous, and wouldn¡¯t mind showing a bit of her underwear, even if they were department store panties. I hadn¡¯t had the time to figure out makeup toplete the look, but I was pretty without it ¨C Lily was pretty without it, so I had no doubts she would find food at the party. A voice rang out from behind Chris and I, ¡°Hey there Chris, didn¡¯t expect to see you here.¡± My heart pounded. There¡¯s no way. Sure enough, when I turned around, I saw Amber, wearing skinny jeans, an unbuttoned nnel shirt, and a sports bra. Chris straightened to his full height, towering far over me, but only ending up an inch or two above Amber. ¡°Nice to see you, witch,¡± he spat. There was a moment of silence, during which I prayed that I wasn¡¯t about to witness Chris trying to fistfight my ex-girlfriend. To my surprise, they instead both broke intoughter simultaneously. I nced between them, confused. Amber looked down at me, no recognition in her eyes. I ignored the sweet smelling from her. ¡°And who¡¯s this cutie? I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve met before¡­¡± She stuck her free arm out, but when I went to shake her hand, she instead pulled me into a tight hug, whispering in my ear, ¡°Your dress is riding up, sweetie.¡± I pulled away from the hug, blushing. ¡°That¡¯s fine,¡± I responded, not bothering with fixing it again. Her eyes went wide, ¡°Oh¡­¡± Out of the corner of my eye I saw Chris walking away, turning back to give me a thumbs up. What? No,e back, I need to get away so I can find someone to feed on¡­ While I¡¯d been distracted, Amber had been regaining her confidence. Her shoulder leaned into the wall, resting just next to and above where mine was. ¡°Your eyes are really pretty.¡± Her hand came up to rest on my arm and her eyshes fluttered at me. Aren¡¯t my eyes exactly the same as my normal body¡¯s? She never called my eyes pretty while we were dating¡­ I red up at her, but also leaning into the touch, eager for the drops of energy and the soothing warmth it provided. ¡°And your pout is so cute,¡± she continued, unperturbed. ¡°I¡¯m Lily,¡± I said, finally introducing myself, ¡°What are you doing here, Amber?¡± I stared at her hand on my arm, directing the question. Her eyes narrowed. ¡°How do you know my name¡­?¡± My heart jumped. She shook her head, muttering, ¡°Must¡¯ve been Chris talking about me¡­¡± Phew¡­ ¡°So, Lily,¡± she smiled at me slyly, ¡°This doesn¡¯t seem like your scene,¡± She gestured to the subdued party around us, ¡°How about we take our conversation elsewhere?¡± I sighed. Might as well have this conversation in private. I can also apologize to her for earlier¡­ ¡°Yea, sure. Lead the way.¡± Her eyes widened, and she dumped the rest of her cup down her throat before grabbing my hand and taking me outside. It was a short walk to her dorm room, made even shorter by how she pulled me along in her excitement. Why is she so excited to talk to Lily? Did she figure out who I am? Another sigh escaped me as we strolled into her room. Lily is going to end up going hungry tonight, unless Sophia is upte¡­ Amber turned to me, standing next to her bed, and patted the edge, urging me to sit. ¡°C¡¯mon let¡¯s get this started.¡± Her grin was wide and free. ¡°More like let¡¯s get this over with¡­¡± I muttered, walking over and transforming to demon-Lily as I sat down. Amber¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°Ad¨C Lily? Is that you?¡± I nodded. She stepped back, ¡°Were you trying to prey on me?¡± Her brow furrowed, ¡°I literally propositioned you the other day, you don¡¯t need to¡­¡± I flushed, shaking my head. ¡°That¡¯s not why I¡¯m here!¡± I protested. Her frown turned puzzled. ¡°It¡¯s not?¡± ¡°No!¡± ¡°Then why were you at that party, dressed like¡­¡± ¡°What, Amber, dressed like a slut?!¡± She shrugged. ¡°Well, Lily went to the party because she was hungry, but then you sidetracked that, taking me over here so we could talk,¡± I red at her petntly ¨C something that she might¡¯ve found intimidating if she hadn¡¯t been staring at my exposed red chest. She stared for a moment longer. ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t take you here to talk to you¡­¡± I stared back. ¡°Then why am I here?!¡± Her mouth hung open for a moment. ¡°You¡­¡± She climbed on top of me, straddling myp. I yelped, leaning back toy down, but she followed,ying on top of me. Her lips met mine, and unlike when we were dating, her tongue made its way into my mouth, brushing against mine with teasing strokes. My body responded immediately, drawing attention to my arousal and desire, making me moan into her mouth. The taste of the wine she''d had earlier diffused in my mouth, the tart fruitiness mixing with the ever-present sweetness. My tail twitched under me, trapped by the weight of two bodies. Why am I always on the bottom? Shouldn¡¯t I be on the top so my tail has more room? She broke off the kiss and huffed, out of breath, ¡°That¡¯s why you¡¯re here.¡± ¡°But you¡¯re¡­¡± ¡°Straight? Of course I¡¯m not, I¡¯m bi.¡± She rolled her eyes. ¡°But some people get a little weird if I tell them that so I just don¡¯t mention it sometimes.¡± Anger and embarrassment battled in my chest at the implication. I¡¯m not homophobic, I have a bunch of gay friends. And my demon alter ego is¡­ I don¡¯t need to think about what she is. I resisted the urge to make ament, knowing that my first reaction was probably something I¡¯d learned from my father. He was a great person, but when it came to gay people, he had a few ws. Once I¡¯d calmed my anger all that was left was embarrassment. ¡°But you¨C we¨C¡± I gestured between us, not knowing what it was that I had an issue with. ¡°You went there to feed, and here I am,¡± She shrugged, ¡°It won¡¯t kill me to serve you up a meal once.¡± Lily is the one that was there to feed, I¡¯m still a virgin¡­ I didn¡¯t bother to correct her. I finally gave in, kissing her back like Lily would. This was Lily¡¯s night to enjoy herself, to destress after all of the studying. One of my hands groped her exposed midriff and the other came to the back of her head, pulling her mouth closer to mine. Amber giggled into my mouth, quickly bringing her hands up to knead my chest. I squirmed at her fingers on my sensitive nipples, still not used to the sensation. ¡°God, you¡¯re so cute, Lily.¡± She sighed in satisfaction, staring down on me as I squirmed, ¡°Lily¡­ What a pretty name for a pretty girl.¡± My pleasure built, mixing with my embarrassment as her soft coos reached my ears. My hands twitched, I threw my head back, and right before my euphoria crested, Amber stopped. I whined, shifting to let my tail out from under me as she backed off, standing and removing her clothes without ceremony. She pped my tail away from between my legs, an intense re warning me to wait for her. Even with her hurrying, it felt like it took hours for her to undress, each inch of skinny jeans she had to wiggle out of making me more and more impatient for my pleasure. I need her to touch me ¨C I need the release. Once she was finally undressed, she still didn¡¯te back to me, instead bending over to look through the drawers of her nightstand. I brought my fingers up to absentmindedly rub my chest, hoping she wouldn¡¯t chastise me for it, while staring at her ass. I hadn¡¯t seen much of her body while we¡¯d been dating, but I¡¯d known in the abstract that she was fit. The abstract was not enough to prepare me for reality. Amber¡¯s legs were long and rippling with muscle, the upper third of her thigh a lighter shade than the rest. Everything was smooth and taut,pletely in control of her motions as her head neared the floor without her bending her legs. Her upside down face peeked through her shins to give me a sly smile. I scowled back, but I continued watching and waiting, only touching my chest, swirling my short, ck nails around my deep crimson nipples, thankful that I didn''t naturally have ws. By the time she returned to me, now wearing a long, thin rubber phallus between her legs, I was panting, worked up to the edge. I preened under her satisfied smile as she knelt on the mattress just below my hips, lining up with my soaking entrance. Amber rubbed her rubber member slowly up and down my lower abdomen, so close to giving me the pleasure I needed. ¡°You¡¯re such a good girl, waiting patiently for me. But there¡¯s one more thing you need to do before I put you out of your misery.¡± ¡°Please,¡± I whined. Her smirk should¡¯ve scared me. It might have scared Adam, had he received it, but it didn¡¯t scare Lily. ¡°Beg.¡± My writhing stopped. I thought about everything I¡¯d experienced recently, the confusion, the stress, the rare enjoyment when I gave in to my instincts, and scariest of all, the feeling that Adam might not exist anymore, that he was less and less present every day. Adam fucking sucked anyways. ¡°Please fuck me Amber, I need it,¡± I shook my hips, trying to get her inside me, but she thwarted me at every movement. Her eyes went wide for a moment before crinkling in amusement, ¡°And what are you?¡± My cheeks burned with shame, a feeling almost as prominent as the need between my legs. ¡°I¡¯m just a subus whore¡­¡± I threw a hand over my face, hiding from her judgmental gaze. She hummed in satisfaction and peeled my hand away from my face, studying my embarrassment. Then, she entered me. I had rationalized away many of my decisions up until that point as the actions of Lily, the woman ¡®possessing¡¯ me, avoiding the responsibility of doing things for myself. In that moment however, the person getting fucked by my ex-girlfriend who probably still hated me on some level, they weren¡¯t Lily, nor were they Adam. They were me. And I loved it. I parted around her thrust, stretching and tensing in new and exciting ways. My lower back rose off the bed, bringing our pelvises together and eliciting a satisfied exhale from Amber and a low moan from me. ¡°Damn, maybe I should''ve chose the bigger one,¡± Amber muttered, pulling her hips slowly back before finding her rhythm, sliding into me with proficiency. ¡°Of course the subus can take it¡­¡± She sped up. I¡¯d been trying to avoid thinking about potential subus powers ¨C shapeshifting alone consumed my thoughts more often than I wanted it to ¨C but with the excess energy flowing into me, as well as my newfound self-eptance, I was ready to dabble. One of my hands came down to hover over Amber¡¯s toy, a warm energy radiating out from me and doing something. I was still figuring it out. Amber gasped and redoubled her efforts, cursing under her breath. ¡°Oh my god, I can feel¡­¡± Her moans joined mine, and her rough thrusts grew jerkier, pping our flesh together in a cacophony of lust. I hadn¡¯t thought much abouting since she¡¯d entered me, more concerned with enjoying the steady waves of pleasure flowing through me than chasing a big high. That all changed when Amber reached down, brushing her long slender fingers against my clit, and I realized that the only reason I hadn¡¯te already was because she hadn''t wanted me to yet. It took under three seconds for her dexterous fingers to give me an orgasm, causing what littleposure I had left to disintegrate, screaming and shaking. And I thought I¡¯d done it all with Sophia? This is already insane, what more could sex be? A few thrustster and Amber was finishing too, the toy twitching inside of me due to my magic. Thankfully nothing came out of it ¨C that wasn¡¯t something I could fathom needing to worry about ¨C but I ended up feeling really empty when she pulled out. Amber removed her harness andid next to me, taking me into her arms and slowly scritching one of my horns without a word. Our breaths synchronized and I basked in the feelings of satisfaction and closeness I¡¯d never gotten to experience with her before. As we fell asleep, I heard her quiet voice murmur, ¡°This can¡¯t happen again¡­¡± Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Amber had given me a lot of energy that night, and although we both fell asleep at the same time, I ended up waking up really early because of subus magic. So, being the logical creature I was, I did the only rational thing: I snuck away. I was not ready to deal with the emotional vulnerability I had unleashed the previous night during the highs of sex, nor was i ready to face the rejection she''d given me right before we''d fallen asleep. So I strolled across campus, freezing as the morning air bit through the flimsy fabric of my cheap dress, contemting life. I never ended up apologizing to Amber, did I? Whatever, she hates me now anyways¡­ My thoughts quickly spiraled, honing in on all of the things I¡¯d been stressing about. What did it mean that it took me shapeshifting into a feminine body to have sex with Amber, to want to have sex with Amber? Why did my masculine form feel so temporary, so insubstantial? Was it a product of the mechanics of my shapeshifting, a manifestation of how it was difficult to keep the details of my body straight? But why didn¡¯t the same happen with my feminine form? I intuitively started burning my energy to heat myself, alleviating the chill as I moved through the winding paths between the towering trees. My ts click cked against the rough pavement, keeping time to my tumultuous thoughts. More importantly than any of my other questions: what would it mean if I were to choose to be Lily? What would it mean to tell the school, to tell the church, to tell my father that I was a woman? Those were the thoughts on my mind, as I returned to my dorm room in the early morning, to the upied living room I shared with my roommate, Evan. He sat on our ratty futon, leaning back and smoking the end of a joint, stained t-shirt and messy hair showing every moment of the night of partying they must¡¯ve gone through. ¡°Shiiit,¡± he said appraisingly, ncing up and down my exposed legs. ¡°Shit,¡± I cursed. Doesn¡¯t marijuana mess with your memory? I can just walk past him, pretending nothing is wrong and he¡¯ll forget about it by the time the sun rises, right? Just as I thought I¡¯d get away with it, he put his arm out behind him, blocking my path and preventing me from reaching my room. I could still turn around and leave, but that would mean confronting Amber, a much scarier prospect, even if Evan figured out my identity. Evan shook his head, tossing his tousled dirty blonde hair around. ¡°Dude, you¡¯re clearly rted to that Adam kid, and I don¡¯t care how good he fucks ¨C you aren¡¯t going in there with him on my watch.¡± His dted blue eyes stared into me, resolute. I blinked, staring at him as my mind whirred, caught between the relief that he hadn¡¯t realized I was a shapeshifting demon and the confusion of figuring out what he thought he realized. He thinks I¡¯m¡­ I blushed. ¡°Adam is out right now,¡± I thumbed over my shoulder, towards the entrance to the dorm, ¡°He said I could crash in his room¡­¡± He blushed in kind and retracted his arm. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll make sure no one disturbs you,¡± he nodded absentmindedly to himself, taking another hit. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to lock the door,¡± he called over his shoulder at me as I left. What a strange person¡­ ¡ª I took up a new hobby Saturday: avoiding people. My room became my sanctuary, a serene scene of eternal peace, unbothered by the messages my unpowered phone must¡¯ve been failing to receive. Thanks to my stockpile of magic, I didn¡¯t even need to leave the room to eat, a daunting prospect given that I had a very limited wardrobe as Lily, and Adam was¡­ Well, I¡¯d gotten one thing right the previous night, and it was that Adam fucking sucked. He was miserable and annoying and inconsiderate, and¡­ And I¡¯d have to be him again on Sunday. Sophia was the only person at church that knew me as Lily, and I wasn¡¯t so blindly optimistic to think anyone else would take it as well as she had. Or as well as Chris and Amber had. Weird, howe everyone is so nonchnt about demons being a thing? Anyways, I got a brief reprieve on Saturday, to prepare myself for the hell that would be Sunday church. On Sunday morning I got up early again, not bothering to even check how long I had until church, instead spending my valuable time staring at the clothes inhabiting my dresser. This is what I wear?! All my life, I¡¯d always had to wear nice clothes to Sunday church, polos, khaki shorts, and cks. At some point I¡¯d just figured it would be economical to wear that stuff pretty much every day ¨C it meant I didn¡¯t have to make any meaningful fashion decisions beyond what color shirt to wear with what color pants. Now, thinking about how even a terrible dress had felt like expressing myself as Lily, it struck me how nd and unfeeling my clothes were. Chris wore clothes that said something about himself ¨C the soft warmth of his nnels and the rugged sturdiness of his jeans. What did it say about me that even I thought my clothes were boxy and nd? It ended up only taking me a few hours to find the least unappealing option in my wardrobe. It briefly crossed my mind to buy more clothes for my masculine body ¨C it would certainly be the practical choice, given that I would be using it for church and school for the foreseeable future ¨C but, like it had for a long time, the prospect of shopping for men¡¯s clothes filled me with dread. No, it wasn¡¯t dread, dread was too exciting of a word. The prospect filled me with an empty boredom, a resigned apathy that said I¡¯d rather pick the first three things I saw than spend my time and focus on it. I wasn¡¯t ready to think about the prospect of buying more women¡¯s clothes, but I did hang up my dress in the closet ¨C a symbolic gesture, given that it still needed to be washed. After spinning my wheels for as long as I could, it was finally time to go to church. ¡ª The idea that I could skip church only came when I was already on the short train ride across town. I¡¯d been so worried about everything else and the question of howte I could be without eliciting a longer lecture from my father, that I¡¯d never considered not going at all. Amber never went to church, although she did have some kind of family gathering on Saturday nights that I¡¯d never gotten the specifics of ¡ª she never talked about her family.Chris also didn¡¯t attend church, although he had an event nned during every full moon¡­ But did the fact that they didn¡¯t attend church make them bad people? Obviously not, but why did it feel like the standards were different for me? Why was there a guilt there, threatening to overtake me for even thinking about it? Unfortunately, the rickety sounds of the train held none of the answers I was seeking, nor did the couple of blocks I had to walk from the station to the church. The sermon, which had just started when I arrived, promised a lot of answers, but given that my father was the one leading the congregation today, I doubted the answers would be satisfactory. True to my expectations, it was fire and brimstone, don¡¯t sin, etc. for most of an hour, followed by an ufortably long rant about how the morals of the world were tanking. The bigotry wasn¡¯t even thinly veiled. He¡¯s a great dad but¡­ I sat next to Sophia again during our study group, and although she yed it cool, not giving anything away to the other people, she gave me a couple of sly looks that unexpectedly made my stomach turn. She was kind and attractive and studious ¨C so why did it feel like being influenced by her was so wrong? When she asked me if I wanted a ride home, I declined, making up an errand I needed to take care of on the way home. The train ride home was the most eventful part of the trip, when I realized that I didn¡¯t have a penis ¨C another in a long list of shapeshifting mistakes I¡¯d made. I didn¡¯t bother feeling shocked about the revtion, nor did I bother shapeshifting to fix it. I stumbled my way back to my bed and immediately fell asleep, transforming to my demonic form on the way down to the mattress. How can such an uneventful day be so exhausting? Chapter 9 Chapter 9 With zed eyes I stared at my three business midterms Monday afternoon, absentmindedly rubbing one of my horns. I think it¡¯s a little bigger¡­ My test scores were¡­ not as big. A 20%, a 12%, and, the crowning achievement of my college career, a 55%. A set of scores so low that even the most desperate of students wouldn¡¯t be able to say were ¡®technically passing¡¯. Truthfully, the tests hadn¡¯t been hard. Adam probably could¡¯ve gotten B¡¯s or A¡¯s on them with a little bit of studying, and anyone in the ss who¡¯d shown up to the lectures would be able to at least pass. I had shown up to the lectures, but, with everything going on, I hadn¡¯t really been there, so to speak. It wasn¡¯t even that I was stressed and distracted from everything that had been going on ¨C although that was a factor ¨C no, the main reason I¡¯d failed was because I hated the sses. The sses had been a chore when the most exciting thing I had topare it with was going to church, butparing it with sex? I¡¯d be a dopamine-fueled, sex-addicted slut, just like I predicted. But that¡¯s okay, I guess. What wasn''t okay were these tests; It was finally time to do something about this. ¡ª¡ª ¡°It sounds to me, Mr. Taylor, like you simply aren¡¯t interested in your major.¡± I sat across a stained wood desk from my academic advisor, Ms. Morgan, a stern-faced woman who wore those rectangr librarian sses, and who smelled way too sweet for my sanity. She wasn¡¯t even part of the business department, and had instead been assigned to me because there were too many students going into business and too few in her field of study, theology. I stared back at her, trying not to cringe at her genderednguage. ¡°What am I supposed to do then?¡± I looked down at my arm, absentmindedly wondering if I¡¯d forgotten to shapeshift anything. ¡°Well, perhaps I might be biased, given that my field of study and your own do not align, but there is always the option of changing majors. It ismon, especially during their first year of undergraduate study, for students to experiment with different subjects.¡± My mouth twisted back and forth. I¡¯ve already ignored my dad¡¯s advice in other ways¡­. ¡°Okay, but how do I choose a new major?¡± My eyes moved to my fingernails, one of which I¡¯d picked at while stressing. It morphed back to perfect condition with a little bit of magic. Ms. Morgan cleared her throat across from me. ¡°Mr. Taylor, incubi are allowed to attend the school, but they must fill out form 32.b: supernatural existences, as well as form 37.a: demonic races,¡± her tone was tired and bored, like she was tired of all of the troublemaking demons breaking regtions. I stared, disbelieving. She continued, ¡°Unless there¡¯s been a clerical error, you have not filled out those forms. Please demonstrate your true form so I may fill out the witness portion of the form.¡± She stared at me over her sses, waiting. I looked away, unable to maintainposure under assault from her sweet scent and while she was essentially telling me to get naked. I popped into my ¡®true form¡¯ after a moment, trying to ignore the implications of the term. Herposure, which had been unassable for the entirety of our meeting, cracked, her eyebrows climbing up her forehead as she took in my naked, feminine form. She hummed in contemtion, ¡°You do not look like an incubi¡­¡± Herposure reconstituted, manifesting in a disappointed frown. ¡°And where are your clothes?¡± I blushed, her stern gaze and tone fueling my arousal, ignoring my desperate desire to remain professional. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Whenever I¡¯m like this my clothes disappear?¡± ¡°Oh dear.¡± Her wheeled chair slid across the floor, moving her to a filing cab. She opened a drawer and started flipping through the folders, searching. ¡°How much did your demonic parent exin to you?¡± ¡°Demonic parent?¡± She let out a disappointed sigh, rolled back to her desk, and handed me a colorful pamphlet titled, ¡®So you¡¯re a subus: an informational guide for demons aged 12+¡¯. An rm went off on her desk and she sighed again, this one tired. ¡°That¡¯s all of the time for our appointment, I¡¯ll email you the forms you need toplete, and if you need any more information on demonic biology, please consult the Student Health Center.¡± She nodded, dismissing me, ¡°It was nice meeting you miss Taylor.¡± What the fuck? ¡ª I¡¯m really hungry. I scanned through the pamphlet Ms. Morgan had given me, finding cartoon illustrations made for preteens exining ¨C in graphic detail ¨C my deepest insecurities, all of the things I¡¯d had no answers for. Something it had taken an embarrassingly long time to figure out was that it wasn¡¯t in English; it was apparently in Demonic, anguage demons could inherently read. The publication information also had an address in hell ¨C or was it Hell? ¨C something that was somewhat distressing. A lot of the contents simply confirmed things I¡¯d already suspected, but there was some interesting stuff too. It detailed that sex was a normal and healthy part of subi¡¯s lives, and dispelled the misinformation that getting energy from people involved ¡®draining¡¯ them. Instead, the energy I got came from my own feelings of intimacy, in all senses of the words. It rified that young subi would usually get their energy through friends and family ¡ª from their feelings of tonic and familial love ¡ª while older subi would often ¡ª but not always ¡ª get their food from their romantic and sexual partner(s). More important, were the twopletely new pieces of information:
  1. Every subi and incubi had at least one demonic parent
  2. Demonic gender was way too advanced for me
The first point I wasn¡¯t ready to think about. The second I managed to summarize and simplify enough for me to understand: not every subus was born girly and not every incubus was born manly, and there was a bunch of variation in sexual characteristics across the two races, but generally subi were more feminine while incubi were more masculine. What it all meant was I had an infographic made for confused teenagers exining to me it was totally okay for me to be a woman, which was a strange experience, but perhaps it was necessary for someone like me. I¡¯m really, really hungry¡­ I hadn¡¯t been very prudent about my energy usage, and that meant I needed to eat. The question was who to eat. I felt bad for brushing Sophia off on Sunday, but I also felt bad for ditching Amber Saturday morning and turning off my phone so she couldn¡¯t text me. Lastly, I felt guilty for ignoring Chris, who was quite a bit behind on my adventures, given I¡¯d only been seeing him in ss, where I didn¡¯t want to talk about demon stuff. Sophia might be busy, talking with Amber would require emotional energy I didn¡¯t have, but catching Chris up on everything might actually be fun. I got dressed as human Lily, wearing my unwashed dress. Maybe I can get him to take me clothes shopping too¡­ ¡ª In retrospect, showing up at Chris¡¯ dorm room with no warning, wearing a very short dress, was probably not my smartest idea. It hadn¡¯t urred to me that he had a roommate ¨C someone I hadn¡¯t met yet ¨C nor had it urred to me until I knocked on his door that he could have someone over. Thankfully, I wasn¡¯t subjected to that torture, but I was introduced to his roommate, who answered the door, a short scruffy guy with long, thick sideburns. He sneered at me, turning up his nose, ¡°What¡¯d ya want?¡± ¡°Uh, is Chris in?¡± His eyes narrowed, ¡°And what does someone like you want with him?¡± ¡°We¡¯re friends¡­? I came to chat?¡± A voice echoed over his shoulder, ¡°Derick, who are you harassing out there?¡± I slid past Derick while he was distracted, ignoring his yelp as I pushed him out of the way. ¡°Hey, Chris.¡± He was leaning back in a loveseat, phone in hand, wearing boxers and nothing else. My eyes roamed all of his exposed skin, all of the different rich, coppery tones ¨C not to mention his muscles, which all bulged in a way that Amber¡¯s didn¡¯t. ¡°Oh, I wasn¡¯t expecting you, Lily.¡± He blushed, curling in on himself slightly as if it would cover up his body, ¡°Let me get dressed.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal,¡± I shrugged. I wasn¡¯t going toin if he didn¡¯t bother. Unfortunately he did, leaving me in the living room to be scowled at by Derick for a minute, before Chris came back and ushered me into his room. ¡°Have you talked to Amber?¡± I grimaced, ¡°Uh¡­¡± ¡°Lily¡­¡± He chastised, shaking his head. He sat down on the edge of his bed, the mattress springing under him, and typed into his phone. ¡°I¡¯m going to at least let her know you¡¯re okay ¨C she¡¯d been worried about you.¡± I then caught him up on some of the things I¡¯d been up to, skipping over some of the gory details about my ¡®feedings¡¯. He didn¡¯t seem surprised about the bureaucracy surrounding demonic students, but he was surprised about some of the specifics of what I¡¯d found out about subi ¨C namely the revtion that one of my parents was a demon. ¡°Damn, I guess I¡¯d never thought about where demons came from,¡± Chris said, shaking his head. He was sitting in the middle of his bed, cross legged, while I did the same across the mattress. ¡°And you weren¡¯t surprised they existed in the first ce?¡± ¡°Nah,¡± he waved his hand dismissively, ¡°So what else is up?¡± I''m too hungry to bother with thinking about the implications of that¡­ I grimaced. ¡°Well, I am kind of hungry¡­¡± His brow furrowed, ¡°There aren¡¯t any parties for me to take you to on a Tuesday night ¨C well, not any good ones.¡± I nodded slowly, ¡°Yea¡­ I know that¡­¡± Chris¡¯ expression shifted, a twitch of his mouth that suggested he might be holding back a smile. ¡°Lily, I¡¯m going to need you to be direct, I¡¯m not sure what you¡¯re trying to get at here.¡± His voice was full of faux concern. I red. ¡°Let me suck your dick, asshole.¡± After a crooked smirk from him and a brief repositioning from both of us, I was on my knees on the floor, while he was sitting on the edge of the bed, pantsless. I could¡¯ve easily done this while remaining on the bed, but it seemed more natural for me to be on the floor like this. I¡¯d transformed to my true form and was thereforepletely naked ¨C the pamphlet had information about manifesting clothing, but it wasn¡¯t something I¡¯d practiced yet. His member was around the same size as the strap Amber fucked me with, rather unimpressive given that she had alluded to arger one. I kissed the tip, somewhat in awe at the fact that this was something I was doing, something I was enjoying. My mouth explored, taking in the taste of his sweat as it mingled with the scents of his arousal and the ever-present sweetness. Although I''d had a penis for a couple decades, my movements were clumsy and unpracticed due to my long-standing self-denial. While I had been getting more experience recently, most of my experience was in having people do things to me, and this was turning out to be too much freedom for my tiny brain. I tried to take him into my mouth but fumbled, bumping my fangs into his length and causing him to wince. Even with the benefits having a supernatural body afforded me, I was terrible. ¡°Lily, stop moving and hold your mouth open as wide as you can.¡± I obliged, staring up at him as he took charge of the situation. Chris grabbed the back of my head, holding me in ce, and slid his dick into my mouth, coating my tongue in his musky wetness. He didn¡¯t stop, never finding the back of my mouth and instead smoothly fitting his tip into the entrance to my throat. I remained stoic as my nose met his hips, not coughing or gagging. ¡°Now bring your lips together without moving your teeth.¡± He let out a groan when I listened, also trying to swallow my building saliva at the same time, massaging his tip with the muscles in the back of my mouth. I hummed, enjoying the feeling as he slid out of me and back in, slowly fucking my face while holding me in ce,pletely in control. I was almostpletely useless, able to move my tongue a bit and y with myself using my tail, but impotent when it came to pleasuring him of my own ord. My eyes roamed the constantly shifting scene as my face was moved forwards and back, taking in the sights with a detached bliss. There was the dog hair all over his bedsheets, his belly button ¨C an outie if I¡¯d ever seen one ¨C and the fluffy grey rug that was now collecting my drool below me as my mouth started to drip. Chris grunted above me, shifting my attention back to him, and I got the pleasure of watching hime undone. In a few moments his expression shifted from smirking down on me to pure ecstasy, head thrown back and mouth hung open in a silent scream. He buried his cock in my throat, filling me with energy as he spilled his sweet semen into my stomach. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of being filled ¨C both in the sexual sense, and in the sense of refilling my energy. Unfortunately, my own pleasure had never built to orgasm, but it had been an enjoyable experience nheless. Now that my excuse of needing energy was gone, however, I quickly transformed back to my clothed, human self, wiping my mouth after he released me. I smiled up at him. ¡°So, want to take me clothes shopping?¡± Chapter 10 Chapter 10 There was only so long I could avoid Amber for ¨C not that I remembered why I was doing it anymore. It had something to do with how I¡¯d felt after we had sex, like I¡¯d let her in on my feelings in a way that was scary and overwhelming, but it was hard to put abel on it all. Not to mention the way she¡¯d rejected me unprompted afterwards, when I¡¯d been at my most vulnerable. Or how I¡¯d built up years worth of teasing material for myself, going from proudly telling her I¡¯d wait until marriage to having casual sex with friends in a handful of days. Not that I have a choice, I need it to survive! I pointedly ignored my unnecessary expenditures of magic that made my feedinge more often, as well as the knowledge that I could sustain myself off of cuddling and friendships if I was frugal. Anyways, Amber caught me during myte-afternoon lunch again on Wednesday, much like she had the previous Tuesday. This time I was indoors, sitting at the counter in a ramen shop on campus, slurping chicken noodle soup ¨C or miso ramen if you wanted to be technical about it. Although I didn¡¯t need regr food, it still helped, and it was tasty, so I¡¯d been eating at least two meals most days. I hadn¡¯t even considered Amber would find me here, on a rainy day where there weren¡¯t many people out, in a ce I didn¡¯t frequent, but she had her ways. ¡°Lily.¡± She stood next to my chair with crossed arms, ring at me. That was another new thing ¨C I¡¯d started attending sses as Lily. Ms. Morgan had included the name and gender marker change forms in her email, and after filling them out, I was now Lily Taylor, the officially registered demon ¨C at least on campus. I still hadn¡¯t picked a new major, something I would need to do before the end of the semester, but I was making progress. Weirdly enough, I¡¯d gotten a few surprised ¨C but polite ¨Cments about my gender change from ssmates I knew in passing, but it was about the fact that I was a woman, rather than the sudden speed of the process. I nced at Amber and slurped my broth before finally responding. ¡°Hey Amber.¡± She sat down when the seat next to me freed up, and leaned on the counter, still ring. ¡°You¡¯ve been avoiding me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sor¨C¡± She cut me off by grabbing the cor of my new women¡¯s t-shirt, leaning in and snarling into my face. ¡°Tell me, Lily, did you mean any of the things you said about us having sex being meaningful?¡±Her head tilted sharply in time to her question, ¡°Or was it all bullshit, vapid nonsense to fill your ego until you had an excuse to do it without any of the consequences? Just fuck me and then never talk to me again?¡± ¡°...¡± I winced. ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡± She sat back and schooled her expression, crossing her arms. ¡°Let¡¯s hear it.¡± I stared into my remaining broth, not really feeling hungry anymore. ¡°So, first off, I¡¯m sorry for how I med you when I transformed, that wasn¡¯t okay.¡± She nodded, ¡°And I¡¯m sorry for being impatient about it, I should¡¯ve tried to help you more. But you were being an asshole so¡­¡± ¡°Yeah, I was¡­ Um, I¡¯m also sorry about running away from you.¡± I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I could fidget with my tail. ¡°I just kind of assumed you hated me and you¡¯d written me off.¡± Amber sighed. ¡°Lily, I certainly don¡¯t love you.¡± I turned away, feeling inexplicable tears forming in my eyes. Stupid hormones. She waited to continue until I¡¯dposed myself and returned to staring sadly into her deep hazel eyes. ¡°But I don¡¯t hate you either. I don¡¯t really know how I feel about you anymore, but I would like a chance to find out ¨C to get to know Lily, if you¡¯d let me.¡± I threw myself into her arms, awkwardly hugging her from below her tall stool. ¡°Okay,¡± I whispered. ¡ª Amber ended up following me to my dorm afterwards, apparently not trusting that she¡¯d ever see me again if she left. I¡¯d half expected to have sex once we got there ¨C despite the fact that she''d said we wouldn''t do it again ¨C but we just chatted instead. She asked me why I was still in the men¡¯s dorm, and I exined that because of bureaucratic nonsense, and because I¡¯d done some of my registration in the middle of the semester, it wouldn¡¯t be until next semester that I would be properly reassigned to a new dorm. I¡¯d been offered the option of moving out to one of the emergency housing options the school offered, but, for as much as Evan annoyed me, he¡¯d never made me feel unsafe. I also listened to her tell me about how her sses were going. I didn¡¯t understand any of the specifics, given that she was a biochemistry major, but it was nice to hear that she was enjoying herself and still found her sses to be engaging, even in her third year. Regardless of how much she enjoys it, that¡¯s probably not the major for me¡­ Eventually, the conversation started winding down, and it was getting to the time where humans needed to go to bed. Sitting on my desk chair while she sat on the edge of my bed, I felt a surprising sadness that she¡¯d be leaving. I couldn¡¯t pin down why I wanted her to stay ¨C it wasn¡¯t that I was hungry ¨C but the prospect of being alone with my worries was daunting. She stood, apparently ready to leave. ¡°Well, Lily, I had a nice time today,¡± She gave me a look, half-teasing and half-annoyed, ¡°Don¡¯t run away from me again.¡± I nodded slowly, wondering if I should ask her to stay. That would be too selfish, given how I¡¯ve treated her. We shuffled side-by-side through my living room, both taking tiny steps, moving as slowly as possible. She turned to me when we finally reached the door, waited for a moment, and then pulled me into her arms. ¡°Lily, we can¡¯t have sex again.¡± She whispered into my ear, her tone sad and resigned. I understood the feeling, like everything about our romantic rtionship had copsed and doing anything to poke at it would be dangerous or hurtful. I nodded. A too-short hugter and she let me go, waving goodbye as she walked out the door. I felt suddenly alone, as if the buildup of us meandering to the door and her lingering at it wasn¡¯t enough to prepare me to face my own thoughts. C¡¯mon don¡¯t I have everything figured out already? Of course, I wasn¡¯t even close to done; there were still many questions left to answer. Was Mom a subus? Does that mean my dad already knows about my demon-ness? Will he be fine with it when Ie out, then? Iid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, unable to get the questions out of my head. I already had the truth mapped out, intuited from all of the details I¡¯d picked up, but of course I didn¡¯t want to admit that; it felt good to have room to hope. Chapter 11 Chapter 11 The rest of my week was strangely rxing, at least when I ignored the thoughts swirling in the back of my head. I¡¯d strangely felt full after my long talk with Amber on Wednesday, despite the fact that the most we¡¯d done physically was hug a couple of times, meaning I wouldn¡¯t need to feed again until next week. Or, if I kept hanging out with Amber, eventer. We met up a couple of times before Sunday, hanging out as friends, talking about our sses and social lives, and each time she left, I felt a bit fuller of energy, but starkly alone in her absence. It was a strange feeling, not something I¡¯d felt with her when we were dating. Eventually, I had to face reality. That time came Sunday morning, when I was deciding how to handle going to church. I mean, I can just show up as Lily, it''s not like new people are that umon. If someone asks if I know Adam, I can just say I¡¯m his cousin or something. Besides, demons can attend church, it¡¯s not that weird, right? The real issue was my father. If my theory was correct, he would understand where my shapeshifting came from, and I was struggling to hold out hope that he would take the news well. Well, there¡¯s only one way to do this¡­ I put on a white dress with a high neckline and a long, ruffled skirt, taking care to select a bra that wouldn¡¯t show through the fabric. The fact that Chris had helped me pick out clothes ended up being a real boon here, given that alone I¡¯d probably have chosen all ck bras and beenpletely screwed when it came to white tops. The train ride over was uneventful, the tension slowly building in my gut. I wished I had my tail to mess with for the millionth time. How do humans deal with not having a tail? Once I entered therge halls of the church, avoiding the holy water by the doors just in case, it took a while for anyone to notice me. Sophia was the first to react, staring at my face with a puzzled frown before her eyes widened and she gave me a wave. I saw my father, talking with one of the older regrs, Mr. Johnson, but when his eyes scanned the room, he passed over me without thought. Ouch. It seemed silly to be upset about it, given he didn¡¯t know it was me, and especially given what I was expectingter, but I couldn''t help but feel it. I passed the stained ss windows, which were abstract patterns of colors rather than a full mural, but they were pretty anyway, bathing me in a kaleidoscope of different shades. The hard pew stabbed into me as I sat next to Sophia, trying my hardest to rx. She rested a hand on my thigh, a friendly touch on top of my skirt, and I grabbed her hand, squeezing it in mine. In truth, we didn¡¯t know each other that well, despite how long we had been going to our bible study group together, but her touch was soothing nheless, a reminder that someone was on my side. I sat, impatient and squirming, through a sermon I couldn¡¯t focus on, resisting the urge to turn and look at my dad. When the pastor finished and it was time to go to my study group, I instead followed my father outside, directed by a subtle gesture from him. He knows. We stood, a few feet apart, in a small path off of the main building, surrounded on all sides by foliage that was slowly curling in on itself, preparing for winter. ¡°I¡¯m taking you out of school,¡± he stared down at me, frowning more than he was smiling, but still calm ¨C not angry. I took that as a sign that there was room to convince him. ¡°Dad¨C¡± He cut me off, ¡°I should¡¯ve known you would turn out just like her, you always looked more like her.¡± He shook his head, disappointed. ¡°After everything I did for you? Making sure you had a strong moral foundation, you still failed?¡± ¡°Da¨C¡± ¡°Your mother¡­ She wasn¡¯t a good person.¡± His eyes zed over, looking through me, into the past. ¡°She was a sinner and a whore, that much should be obvious, but beyond that¡­¡± He paused to catch his breath, a deep inhale and exhale during which I could¡¯ve interrupted. But I needed to hear the next part. ¡°She saw people as food, kid ¨C we were like prey to her¡­¡± His eyes refocused and he stared into my eyes, the yellowish brown iris he saw surely reminding me of my mother. ¡°I didn¡¯t want you to be like her¡­¡± My wide eyes threatened to spill tears as my feelings teetered between fury and despondence. He doesn¡¯t ept me, what a bigot! But he¡¯s just doing his best, trying to make sure I grow up to be a good person¡­ What, so giving me any kind of freedom ¨C showing me any kindness would destroy my morals?! He doesn¡¯t know any better¡­ As my thoughts warred, my mouth flopped open and closed, acting out the beginnings of all of the words I wanted to say, all of the pent up feelings I had about my father. In the end, there was only one thing I had tomunicate. ¡°Dad, I love you.¡± A moment of silence passed. Dad stared down on me, expression nk, unfeeling. When he spoke, his voice was much the same. ¡°Listen to me, drop out ande back home. You can be a priest under me, there¡¯s still a chance to save your soul¡­¡± He closed his eyes and looked down. ¡°Otherwise¡­ I never want to see you again.¡± I hesitated a moment, staring into his worn, resigned face. Without a sound, I magicked myself away before his eyes could open. Unfortunately, magic couldn¡¯t stop my tears from finally spilling. Bonus: Introspection and Interlude Bonus: Introspection and Interlude I stood in the middle of nowhere,pletely lost in the side paths sprawling through the gardens on the church property after I¡¯d walked away from my father. It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t know how to get back to the street ¨C or the church, if I wanted to ¨C but rather that I didn¡¯t know where I was. If asked to describe to someone ¨C even someone like Sophia, who knew the church well ¨C how to get to where I was, I would say, ¡®walk around in circles till you find it¡¯. It was that kind of ce. So, as I was standing there, staring through streaking tears at my hands, trying to figure out if I could wipe my tears away on something other than my pretty dress, it was surprising that Sophia found me. She approached with a sad smile, taking off her cardigan and handing it to me. I held it and stared, still in shock. She reached down and used the sleeves to mop up the wetness on my cold cheeks ¨C I hadn¡¯t worn any overcoat, nor had I been using magic to keep myself warm. How is she here? Why is she here? What¡¯s wrong with me? I couldn¡¯t even direct thest question in my head towards one specific issue, let alone verbalize the sentiment. Instead, I opted for asking towards the first two. ¡°Are you magic?¡± Although I flubbed the wording a bit. She softly giggled, remaining restrained under the lingering somber atmosphere. ¡°I¡¯m human, and I don¡¯t know any magic, if you meant that literally.¡± Her eyes sparkled with mischief, ¡°But if you meant that metaphorically, then that¡¯s for you to decide¡­¡± My eyes scrunched shut, and feelings swarmed through me, flying by at a rate faster than I could process. I managed to not blush though, at least not more than the cold air already made me. ¡°I¨C You¡­ Shouldn¡¯t you hate demons?¡± My tears had dried up, at least for now, with Sophia distracting me, but myposure was still non-existent. She shrugged. ¡°I found a few well-written books on demons at the local library as a teen, and when I went to research more in college, I stumbled upon the real stuff and ended up learning how to read Demonic, although you¡¯re the first demon I¡¯ve met.¡± I blinked. ¡°Huh.¡± While I was mulling that over, she pulled me by the hand, leading me to a wooden bench off the side of the path, a weathered old thing dedicated to S.V., someone I didn¡¯t know, in a ce I had never been. We sat next to each other, partially protected from the breeze by the surrounding trees that were only maintained enough to not fully encroach on the path, but were still rather wild in appearance. I remained silent, letting my brain slowly process everything. Things had changed, and probably would continue to change, even if I tried to oppose that. After a few minutes, I¡¯de up with more questions than I had time to ask, even if I limited myself to the ones directed at Sophia. I chose the most pressing. ¡°Am I going to see you again?¡± Sophia shifted, tilting her head as she thought for a moment, likely going over the same logistics I¡¯d just thought about. ¡°I think we¡¯ll certainly remain friends, text each other here and there,¡± she shrugged, ¡°I¡¯d love to say we¡¯ll be close forever, but life happens, and sometimes it takes you in strange new directions. If you want to hook up sometime, that¡¯s fine with me, but something tells me you wouldn¡¯t take me up on that offer, even if you wanted to.¡± ¡°...¡± ¡°As for if we¡¯ll see each other again, we could hang out, despite living across town from each other¡­ but I have a feeling the next time I see you, it¡¯ll be in an unexpected ce and I¡¯ll think to myself, ¡®wow, this isn¡¯t how I expected this to happen!¡¯ because that¡¯s just how life is.¡± I thought of all of the unexpected things that had happened recently. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s just how life is¡­¡± I echoed. After a moment of silence, she asked her own question, nodding towards the church, ¡°So, do you want to talk about¡­?¡± My lips twisted back and forth, and I sighed. Sophia is probably the person to talk about this with, given that Amber and Chris don¡¯t know my dad at all. Of course, I could just not talk about it, but I was trying to get better about running away from things. ¡°Well, the short version is that Mom was a subus, and my dad¡¯s an asshole. I guess¡­ I don¡¯t know,¡± I shook my head, ¡°Everything¡¯s still so¡­¡± My hands came together and then syed out in an explosion gesture. She scooted a bit closer on the bench, resting her hand on my leg like she had earlier in the church. ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell me about your mother, how do you feel about her?¡± I started to hang my head, but instead opted for resting it on Sophia¡¯s shoulder, hoping the warmth she provided would keep away my sad thoughts. ¡°I never met her, and before it was just kinda the way things were, like yea I wished I could have two parents, but I also wished Amber and I would get married with my dad officiating, and look how that turned out¡­¡± Sophia offered her cardigan again when I started sniffing. ¡°You can blow your nose on it, I don¡¯t care. Teach me toe to church without my purse¡­¡± I huffed augh, sitting up and blowing my nose into the soft-yet-rough fabric, embarrassed to ruin her coat like this and embarrassed that I¡¯d been so absorbed in wearing shorts with pockets under my dress that I hadn¡¯t considered the obvious solution of a purse to hold my things. ¡°What do you think she was like ¨C your mom?¡± ¡°My dad said a few things¡­¡± Iughed nervously, still processing the things I¡¯d heard, ¡°For one, he said I look like her more than I look like him, so that¡¯s the most information I have on what she looks like ¨C I don¡¯t even know her name.¡± She hummed, content to listen as I vented everything. ¡°And then he said she was every negative stereotype about subi and more,¡± I shook my head, my tone bing less despondent and more upset, ¡°It¡¯s not like I know if he was telling the truth, he¡¯s certainly lied about people he doesn¡¯t like being amoral before, but to have that be the only thing I know about her¡­¡± Sophia patted the top of my head in a gesture that should''ve been patronizing but felt nice from her. ¡°And I¡¯m a subus!¡± My tone grew angry, my hands gesturing in front of me and swinging around in indignation, ¡°But I¡¯ve never met any other subi, so I don¡¯t know if they¡¯re really like that. I have this pamphlet from the school that says otherwise, but that¡¯s about demons ¨C what if all the other subi are as terrible to humans as he says?¡± She grabbed one of my hands and caressed my forearm with her other, calming me down. ¡°It¡¯s just¨C He makes this argument that I¡¯m like them, and I can¡¯t even defend them because I don¡¯t know what they¡¯re like, but how is that my fault? How is that anything other than Mom¡¯s fault¡­?¡± Her free hand came up to the back of my head as I buried my face in her shoulder again to cry, clinging to her blouse. ¡°Why did she leave me¡­?¡± Part 2, Chapter 1 Part 2, Chapter 1 Amber I stared into the dorm supervisor''s eyes, sitting in her office. ¡°What do you mean I can¡¯t have a solo dorm anymore?¡± She sighed, seemingly more frustrated with me than with the situation, a prospect that fueled my indignance. ¡°Your privilege of having a dorm by yourself was provided due to contributions to the school by your coven. I shouldn¡¯t need to exin to you what happens when the contributions dry up.¡± I stood, resisting the urge to knock something off of her desk in my anger, the cup of pens, the potted nt, or the framed photo of her with her wife and kids. Okay, maybe I shouldn¡¯t touch thosest two. I can control myself. At the thought of controlling myself, Lily¡¯s face popped into my head, as it often did recently. I shook the thought away. It was my fault in the first ce that our coven wasn¡¯t doing as well as it had in the past; I knew my anger was misdirected. Doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯tin anyways. ¡°And how am I supposed to practice magic if I don¡¯t have a secure location to do so?¡± She huffed and started typing into her keyboard. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure you have a supernatural roommate assigned, but that¡¯s the most I¡¯m going to do for you. Is there anything else you need help with?¡± Her tone made it clear the correct answer to the question was no. I pursed my lips, resisting the urge to shout ¡®but what about the secrets of the coven?¡¯, knowing she wouldn¡¯t be sympathetic. I shook my head and stormed off to my soon-to-be-vacated dorm. This just can¡¯t get any worse. ¡ª I stared at the face of my new roommate as she stood in the open door, weing me into our new shared space. I knew a lot of supernatural women ¨C or at least knew of them ¨C that went to our school. There were vampires, werewolves, witches, and many more. The worst possible option for me in terms of roommates would be someone from a rival coven. That would mean I could never study witchcraft in my room, and instead have to make the trip to ourmunal home, which, while it wasn¡¯t far in the grand scheme of things, was too great a distance to travel every day or every other day. Ignoring my rivals, the next worst option was the one I¡¯d gotten. My mother would probably argue that demons, and subi in particr, would be just as bad as a rival witch, but I didn¡¯t quite agree. Regardless, subi were distracting at the best of times, and dangerous the rest of the time. Fortunately ¨C or unfortunately, depending on your view ¨C I at least knew this subus. My feelings about Lily wereplicated.When we had been dating, she¡¯d been the safe, predictable option ¨C someone who I could rely on to be unflinchingly stubborn in her ways, a steady rock on the rough sea that was my life. It didn¡¯t hurt that she¡¯d been cute and sweet, even before her shapeshifting. But then everything went to shit, and she suddenly wasn¡¯t that person anymore. Suddenly she was a subus, this dangerous creature of myth, something at odds with everything I knew about her. Now, after the dust had settled, she was miles better for her own good, happier, more free, with more self-awareness. But was it so wrong of me to miss that stability, that safety? ¡®Yes, of course it¡¯s wrong,¡¯ My mind told me. Adding to theplexity further was the fact that I liked the new her too, in different ways. She was tempting, enthralling ¨C and not just because of the one time we¡¯d had sex. It was a joy to be around her, and I valued her friendship. But being roommates with her? That was a disaster waiting to happen, a temptation waiting for me to falter. I stared at her pretty face in the doorway. You can do this Amber, we talk all of the time, this isn¡¯t hard. ¡°Hey girl, imagine seeing you here¡­¡± I finally said, a sentence that must¡¯ve been carefully constructed to make me sound as moronic as possible. I pushed past her before she could respond to hide my embarrassment, wheeling in my suitcase full of things. It was convenient, having my dorm be one of two bedrooms I used, meaning I could pack light ¨C at least for my mundane supplies. I¡¯d already moved most of my magical materials back home, not knowing when I could use them next. Lily closed the door behind us and followed me inside. ¡°I¡¯m so d to be rooming with you. Myst roommate was such a weirdo. I mean there was this one time he¡­¡± Her face lit up in a red simr to her demonic form. My eyes squeezed shut. Don¡¯t think about her having sex with her roommates¡­ I cut in, ending her embarrassed stuttering, ¡°Yeah, I can imagine¡­¡± Anyone else with her voice would sound refined or elegant or sexy. Somehow, Lily instead sounded cute and excitable, a sound that fired cupid¡¯s arrows to my chest every time it graced my ears. She smiled up at me, and I couldn¡¯t help smiling back. I¡¯m sure nothing will go wrong when she brings ¡®food¡¯ back to her room and I have to listen¡­ Nope, just a couple of friends rooming together, no unresolved feelings here. ¡ª ¡°I¡¯m back!¡± I shouted across the entrance, into the cavernous room on the other side sure to be full of people waiting to see me. A disquieting silence answered me. My brow furrowed as I removed my shoes and tip toed forwards, hand moving to the cold crystal in my pocket. This ce was never quiet, something I¡¯d normallyment but secretly loved. The lights were off as I entered, taking in the stained dark wood arching above me, grand arches that seemed timelessly out of time. The scuffed floorboards, worn from the antics of too many children to count ¨C including my younger self ¨C stared back, weing me with a familiarity that seemed misced in the situation. I inched across the room, toes finding all of the most stable parts of the floor, the deafening squeaks that resulted speaking to how loud the loudest of them were. My mind roamed to the possible dangers, the rival witches finally giving in to their cruelty, the possibility of a magical ident, or the supernatural creatures that preyed on humans. My free hand brushed against the wallpaper, finding the ces it had been torn years ago but no one had bothered with fixing it, leading me into the dining hall. It was simrly dark but dissimrly quiet. There were dozens of shallow breaths, little shuffles and rustles that would seem quiet in any other context, but red loud to my heightened senses. My grip tightened on my crystal. A bright sh blinded me, followed by a loud pop bursting towards my face. I jumped back, ready to retaliate, only to see my mother, surrounded by about two dozen girls of all ages holding party poppers, all under a banner that read ¡®Happy Birthday!¡¯. The tension left my body in waves as my mind caught up and my mother hugged me, along with little Katie, who gave me a nervous smile. Katie was my apprentice, and honestly wasn¡¯t that little anymore, given that she was in the middle of her second year in highschool, and was about as tall as I was. Now bathed in the warm glow of light, I could see two cakes on the long table ¨C both the size of sheet pans ¨C along with a single gift bag. ¡°Mom,¡± I whined, ¡°It¡¯s not even my birthday yet¡­¡± She tutted, shaking her head. ¡°It¡¯s next week, and given that we only see you on Saturday¡­ Well, we couldn¡¯t wait.¡± Speaking of not being able to wait¡­ I watched as Katie started slicing the cakes, handing pieces out on paper tes to the most eager of the girls, with one of our mom¡¯s staff helping to keep the queue orderly. Katie¡¯s face was serious, treating the task of cate-cutter with an adorable level of gravitas. As the stream of kids headed in Katie¡¯s direction, my mom stared at me with concern. ¡°So, you got assigned a roommate this week, right?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I hadn¡¯t exined the events of the previous semester to her in full detail ¨C she certainly didn¡¯t need to hear about me having sex with my ex-girlfriend ¨C but she at least knew I¡¯d broken up with my partner after they¡¯d turned out to be ate-blooming subus. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to tell her. ¡°So you know Lily, right¡­?¡± She grimaced, immediately seeing where I was going. ¡°I can¡¯t believe they let subi room with normal people, that just seems like a disaster waiting to happen.¡± I listened silently, feeling bad for Lily but not having the courage to speak up. I trusted Lily to respect my boundaries ¨C hell, she¡¯d refused to have sex with me for so long just because she thought that¡¯s what was right ¨C but my mom wasn¡¯t wrong either. She continued, ¡°It¡¯s only a matter of time until one of them drains a student dry and then they have a shitmess on their hands, even more so if the victim is someone important.¡± I nodded. Subi and incubi were dangerous; I¡¯d been reading about the dangers demons posed and ways to protect myself against them for as long as I¡¯d been studying magic. But Lily wasn¡¯t, right? She was an exception, and as long as she was content finding ¡®food¡¯ elsewhere, I didn¡¯t have anything to worry about ¨C not that I could exin that to my mother. The rest of the party was nice, a celebration for everyone else as much as it was for me. I opened my present, a sprig of rare enchanted herbs ¨C something I¡¯d been looking for to fuel my experiments ¨C from my mother, and ate some cake, choosing the red velvet option over the vani. I then spent the rest of the time chatting with all of my younger sisters, as I did every Saturday, doing my absolute best to remember where each of them was in school, what they liked and disliked, what they wanted to be when they grew up. Thatst one was much easier than the rest, given that most of them wanted to be witches like me, our mother, and our mother¡¯s other apprentices. I never had the courage to tell them how much work it was, how little magic I could dopared to innately magical beings, or how easy it was to screw it all up. Eventually, after the party had winded down, the littler kids had run out of energy and the older ones had drifted off to do their own thing, I was taken up by Katie to her room. As her teacher, I had certain responsibilities, not just in terms of her magical education, but also to hear out her problems and offer guidance, the same way our mother could. As I followed behind her, I took note of how she took shorter steps than usual and how she struggled to find her rhythm on the stairs, movements full of trepidation. This can¡¯t be good¡­ She sat down on the edge of her small twin bed in the corner and I remained standing, ncing around the room. For as opulent as the main room and dining hall were, the individual quarters were small and sparse, a necessity given their quantity. Katie¡¯s had paler wood, in beige sheets on her bed, a single dresser, and atop the dresser, a group picture of me, her and our mother from when I¡¯d taken her as an apprentice a few years earlier. She started off the conversation by avoiding what she really wanted to talk about. ¡°So, how¡¯s your projecting?¡± Despite the outwardly banal nature of the question, she was already wincing as she said it, knowing that if the answer was anything good, she would¡¯ve already heard about it. I sighed, worn down from my endless line of failures. ¡°Mother got me some of the herbs I¡¯d been looking for for my next attempt, but I can¡¯t help but feel like I¡¯m grasping at straws.¡± Katie nodded along, despite the fact that after two years of studying as a witch, she only knew a few self-defense spells, and hadn¡¯t started doing research of her own. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll get something soon, otherwise I¡¯ll have to take your ce as the cool big sister witch around these parts.¡± She grinned, a mostly convincing gesture that still held the tension she¡¯d shown earlier. ¡°Alright, little sis, what¡¯s going on?¡± She grimaced, pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts. ¡°So, you know Julia, right?¡± I nodded in recognition at the name of my apprentice¡¯s girlfriend. It felt like Katie was still too young to be dating, but I hadn¡¯t tried to tell her not to, knowing it would be futile. ¡°So we¡­ Um¡­¡± Her cheeks reddened. I searched my brain. I already gave her the talk¡­ right? Her face scrunched up, panicked and ufortable. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to exin this, and I¡¯m so freaking scared¡­¡± she belted out, sounding more like one continuous word towards the end. I strode over to her, masking my own unease, and ced a hand on her shoulder. ¡°No matter what, I won¡¯t judge you,¡± I took a deep breath and then an even deeper risk, ¡°And if you don¡¯t want me to, I won¡¯t tell Mother about it.¡± Her eyes darted to mine, searching for assurances. Seemingly finding them, she nodded and gestured for me to step back, wrapping the off-white bed sheet around her body, over her clothes. I acquiesced, a bit confused and worried, but determined nheless. Then, one of the worst things possible happened. Her body shifted, suddenly bing reced by a purple-skinned version of herself, horns sticking out of the top of her head, and a ck spade-tipped tail poking out behind her. Part 2, Chapter 2 Part 2, Chapter 2 Amber Katie was a teenage girl with dark skin, curly hair, and a tall, thin frame that she wasn¡¯t old enough to have filled out yet. The girl in front of me was different in only a couple of ways: her skin was violet, her hair was white, horns adorned her head, and she had a thin tail flicking behind her. ¡°Oh,¡± I let out, tension giving way to dread. Her pleading eyes started into me. ¡°You won¡¯t tell Mom, right? You promised¡­¡± My head jerked in each direction, lost between whether it was supposed to shake or nod. The practical side of me stepped in, taking charge and making sure things got done. ¡°I¡¯ll give you my textbook on demons as soon as possible, I¡¯m sure there¡¯s a bunch of important information in there about controlling your urges.¡± I left unsaid the implication of what would happen if she didn¡¯t control her urges, if she sucked someone dvery. Then, it wouldn¡¯t matter whether I wanted to tell our mother or not. She stared down at the floor, ashamed. ¡°Okay¡­¡± Katie had already studied Scarlet¡¯s Guide to Defense Against Demons, but she hadn¡¯t yet had a need for my reference book on demonic biology by the same author. Lily¡¯s face popped into my head again. ¡°And I¡¯m friends with a subus at school, she¡¯s¡­¡± I blinked, losing my train of thought in the sea of things I could say about Lily. ¡°She can give you some advice,¡± I settled on. If there was ever a demon I would let anywhere near my little sisters, it would be Lily ¨C although I would have to supervise them, just to make sure Lily didn¡¯t give any misinformation. I sat next to Katie, pulling her into my arms and rubbing her back. ¡°It¡¯s okay, we¡¯ll take care of this together¡­¡± She started to sniffle, face buried in my shoulder. ¡°She¡­ she broke up with me¡­¡± I stifled a sigh, as well as the urge to celebrate that my young, impressionable apprentice wasn¡¯t dating anyone, instead, murmuring reassurances into her ear. She continued, ¡°She said she couldn¡¯t trust me anymore¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, we¡¯ll figure out how to get this under control, and then no one has to know.¡± Lily I sat in a dimly lit pizza parlor, the tables almost as greasy as the food they served. It was delicious but indulgent, something that I would regret eatingter ¨C or maybe not; maybe being a subus protected me against the kinds of mundane consequences humans would have to deal with. Humans like Chris, the man sitting across from me. Even after I¡¯d changed my gender, changed my name, and changed my major to theology, we still hung out together. It was different during winter break, without the convenience of sharing sses or the newness of my condition still bringing us together. I watched as he ate the majority of the pizza we¡¯d ordered, something that only made sense given his size rtive to mine, my supernatural powers, and the fact that he¡¯d paid for it. That was another new thing; after falling out with my father I now had to worry about money. Thankfully, I had enough saved up to cover myself if I was frugal for the next semester or two, but I¡¯d need to get a job soon no matter what. Chris set the crust left over from his slice down on his te and slid it to me. ¡°So, how¡¯s the roommate situation going?¡± I grabbed the piece of crust and started nibbling on it, turning over my cohabitation with Amber in my head. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ strange.¡± I shrugged and made a ¡®so-so¡¯ gesture with my hand. ¡°These past few days I''ve felt closer to her than I ever have before, and it¡¯s great that I get to see her so often, but¡­¡± He stared into me, eyebrow raised. ¡°But?¡± ¡°It feels like something is missing,¡± I sighed, ¡°Maybe I¡¯m just having a hard time getting it through my head that we aren¡¯t together anymore, even though it¡¯s been a couple months¡­¡± I neglected to mention the other important part of how I felt: the fact that because of Amber I¡¯d had a small excess of magic supply without having any sex or physical intimacy with anyone. Amber and I asionally hugged, but I hadn¡¯t had sex with anyone since I stopped going to church. Abstinence was nice to alleviate some of the guilt I still felt about that, although it did linger, invading my mind at random times. Chris, as far as I was aware, assumed that either Amber and I were bonking, or I¡¯d found someone else to feed me. I didn¡¯t know how to exin the situation, nor did I want to, given the rush of mortification I felt whenever I thought about it. He nodded. ¡°Yeah, I guess it¡¯s weird that you guys are still so close after breaking up,¡± he shrugged, a smirk dancing across his face, ¡°Isn¡¯t that a sapphic stereotype anyways: make friends with all of your ex¡¯s?¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Whatever¡­¡± I still wasn¡¯tfortablebeling my sexuality yet; even the fact that liking women made my gay was something that was difficult to wrap my brain around. I pressed forwards, eager to think about something other than Amber or my sexuality. ¡°So how are you doing on the romantic front, find any cute boys yet?¡± Chris¡¯ smirk dissipated. ¡°Uh¡­ no.¡± He pulled out his phone and nced at the time. ¡°Oh, we need to get going so we can make it to the movie on time¡­¡± I narrowed my eyes at him. He¡¯s hiding something¡­ He must have a crush on someone, but he¡¯s too embarrassed to talk about it, how cute! I let him get away with the clumsy change in subject and followed in his footsteps as he led me to the movie theater, where we¡¯d already nned on going to next. There was a supernatural romance ying ¨C a story about a vampire woman and a werewolf dude ¨C that he¡¯d invited me to. When we took our seats, I raised the armrest between us and leaned on his shoulder without a word. No matter how much magic I had, the process of getting more was always enjoyable, and I hummed in satisfaction at the soothing warmth that radiated out from him. Amber is enough by herself to make sure I don¡¯t starve, but why not both of them together? The more the merrier¡­ ¡ª I blinked, adjusting my eyes to the sun and yawning as we escaped the theater after the movie. ¡°Damn, that movie was kind of terrible,¡± Iined. Chris turned to me, bemused more than anything, and ruffled my hair. ¡°Didn¡¯t you sleep through most of it?¡± I glowered, poking a finger into his side in retaliation. ¡°Only because the stupid werewolf was so boring!¡± My tone took on a mocking lilt, ¡°Oh look at me, I¡¯m such a bad boy wolf, I turn into a dog sometimes, beware of my bite.¡± Chris stared at me, mouth hung open. I continued, ¡°Stupid werewolves think they¡¯re so cool and badass when they¡¯re actually just puppies. And like, puppies can be cute, but I¡¯m so not into the whole bad boy thing¡± ¡°...¡± I startled, eyes going wide, ¡°Wait, are werewolves real? Was it racist to say that?¡± ¡°Um, Lily, now might not be the best time to tell you, but I¡¯m a werewolf¡­¡± I covered my mouth, afraid I¡¯d somehow say something stupider than what I¡¯d already said. ¡°I¡¯m not mad about what you said, but there¡¯s definitely some people in my family that take the werewolf identity very seriously.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I let out, relieved, ¡°So you¡¯re¡­¡± He shrugged, maintaining his leisurely pace. ¡°I thought you already knew and just never felt the need to voice it¡­ I kind of appreciated it, honestly,¡± heughed, ¡°It¡¯s never been as big of a part of me as some of the others, like yeah, I¡¯m a dude with a big family, big deal.¡± I hummed in agreement, keeping my steps close to his and otherwise remaining silent. ¡°Some of the supernatural people, the witches especially, can be really nasty and territorial, fighting over magic powers and resources, and¡­ It¡¯s just not my thing. I guess I¡¯m part of it because I supply Amber, but¡­ that¡¯s more because we¡¯re friends, even if she is a bit of¡­ well, there¡¯s a reason I call her a witch.¡± I faked a re at him. ¡°Hey, that¡¯s my roomie you¡¯re talking about!¡± Chris reached over and ruffled my hair again,ughing at my pout, and I leaned into the gesture, despite my expression. sses would start tomorrow, but things were looking up. I had two great friends, was more sure of myself, and would be starting work on a major I was actually interested in. I¡¯m so d all of that craziness and drama fromst semester is over. ¡ª ¡°I¡¯m back!¡± I yelled, my eyes scanning for any sign of Amber. We¡¯d only been rooming together for a few days, but I already found myself expecting her to be there without thinking about it. An iprehensible yell answered me from her room, the mere acknowledgment of my existence, the knowledge that she was here in the same space as me, already causing a trickle of energy into me. After I walked into my room, put my things away, and dressed in my pajamas ¨C sweats, a sports bra, and a t-shirt ¨C I returned to the living room, sitting on our couch and turning on the television. A few minutester Amber strode out of her room, running a hand through her medium length ck hair and stopping to stand to the side of the space between the tv and the couch. ¡°Hey, Lily, how was your¡­ how¡¯s Chris doing?¡± Her lips were curled up but she wasn¡¯t smiling. Weird, I thought she was friendly with Chris¡­ ¡°It was fun!¡± I grinned, ¡°He¡¯s doing well, and both of us enjoyed ourselves. How are you doing?¡± She sighed. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ stressed.¡± She pointed back towards her room, ¡°I mean, really, I should be working on my¡­¡± I pouted and stared up at her, ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t need a break to de-stress?¡± I patted the space on the couch next to me, ¡°There¡¯s plenty of room for you to watch nonsense with me¡­¡± Amber grimaced, eyes flicking between me and the couch. ¡°I don¡¯t want to impede on your leisure time¡­¡± ¡°C¡¯mon, we both know I want to spend time with you, you aren¡¯t fooling anybody. Now, if you don¡¯t want to spend time with me, that¡¯s okay, but you have to say that.¡± Her eyes closed for a moment, and she walked over and plopped down next to me, resigned to her fate. ¡°Fine, but just for a little bit. I really do have work to do.¡± ¡°Nope,¡± I told her, grinning mischievously. Her head flicked to face mine, ¡°What?¡± ¡°No, you¡¯re going to stay here until you¡¯re sufficiently de-stressed,¡± I scooted closer and grabbed her arm, hugging it to my chest, ¡°And I¡¯ll keep you here if I have to.¡± She stared at me, bbergasted for a moment, before giving up and returning her attention to the television. A few minutes in rtive silence passed and I leaned in closer, resting my head on her shoulder, still clinging to her arm. ¡°Is this okay?¡± I whispered. She nodded, but otherwise didn¡¯t react. Amber¡¯s feelings were hard to figure out sometimes ¨C all of the time, really. For as much as she¡¯d made clear we wouldn¡¯t have sex ¨C twice, unprompted ¨C she was very receptive to my physical affection, and sometimes initiated it herself, sitting closer than was necessary on the couch, sitting on the same side of the booth when we¡¯d gone out to eat. It was a hundred little things that suggested that maybe she was as confused about our rtionship as I was. Maybe I was reading into it way too much, seeing things that weren¡¯t there. Or maybe she was just fine with having a tonically touchy friend. The only way to know for sure would be to ask her and¡­ It seemed cruel to me, to disrupt what we had going. We had our chance at dating, and just because I want to get closer to her now, doesn''t mean I want to date her¡­ I think. I sighed, snuggling into her side. Feelings are hard. Amber I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to yell. The herbs my mother had given me for my birthday sat on my new desk, well over half of the leaves already picked and used up, but even after a few days of doing experiments after ss, I was still nowhere close topleting my goal. Magic was frustrating at the best of times, when the math all worked out and the theories were correct. But sometimes ¨C most of the time if I was being honest ¨C the theories didn¡¯t quite match up to reality, and you had to make guesses and estimations to nudge things in the right direction. In short, doing experiments with limited supplies was torture, where the amount of pain you received was inversely proportional to how good you were at feeling out the vibes in the materials. I picked another couple of leaves with my tweezers, carefully cing them in the middle of the magical circle I¡¯d drawn, a geometrically pleasing shape on a piece of printer paper with esoteric symbols across the outer edge. Next were the other ingredients, the ones I had plenty of: werewolf saliva, a couple different mushrooms we grew back home, and then magical power channeled carefully from my body. Last was the stone I was trying to enchant, a rough hunk of quartz I¡¯d barely been able to lift to the top of my desk to rest near the output node on the circle. The circle lit up, and so did my face, until it started smoking and the herbs disintegrated, again. My fist mmed down on the desk. ¡°Fuck!¡± I had at most three more tries, but there wasn¡¯t anything left for me to try ¨C at least not anything intelligent. Why isn¡¯t this working? I stood and stormed off into the living room to grab some water. Lily, apparently already back from whatever after-ss feeding session she¡¯d had, was sitting on our couch, watching me as I moved across the room, anger still visible on my face. I was almost too angry to care about how she¡¯d heard me cursing and mming my desk. Almost. ¡°Uh¡­ Is everything okay, Amber?¡± Her timid voice, sounding scared of my anger, shocked me to my core and dissipated my fury, leaving a resigned sadness in its ce. ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m just having a hard time with my magical experiment.¡± She blinked, staring at me. ¡°You know how to do magic?¡± Has Chris not already told her that I¡¯m a witch? I sent her a puzzled frown. ¡°Yea? I¡¯m trying to enchant this big rock thing.¡± You¡¯re not supposed to be telling her that¡­ What are you doing, Amber? ¡°Oh, is there something I could do to help? I have a bunch of extra energy!¡± Her grin after that statement curdled my stomach, and it took all of my willpower not to wince. We¡¯re not even together, why do I care who she has sex with? Of course I care, she¡¯s draining people¡¯s magic¡­ I shook my head. It was none of my business, and the only way we could stay friends was if I didn¡¯t think about what she was doing to other people. ¡°No thanks, it¡¯s not the kind of problem you can just throw power at.¡± Her big doe eyes stared into me, the orange kes in the brown irises giving me a haunting reminder of the things we¡¯d done together in her orange-eyed form. ¡°Uh, maybe you can take a look at it¡­¡± I scratched the back of my head, trying to find a justification, ¡°Two heads are better than one and all that. And if you don¡¯t get it, maybe exining it to you will help me work it out.¡± Her expression brightened, and she jumped up, eagerly following me into my room. It was hard to reconcile with the person I thought I¡¯d known, the person I dated, with who she was today, and her excitable demeanor was just one example. Don¡¯t forget how she¡¯s fucking everyone on campus¡­ My brain really wouldn¡¯t let me forget that. I coughed, staring down at the circle on my desk and trying to regain myposure. ¡°So, that''s the circle, it¡¯s supposed to put magic power into that hunk of rock, which will then do some stuff.¡± Lily inspected my setup from all angles, a puzzled frown on her face. Even if she has no idea what¡¯s going on, she¡¯s so fucking cute! I continued my exnation, not having much hope for her understanding it, especially given the performance I¡¯d seen from her on her chemistry homework the previous semester. In fact, I didn¡¯t want her to understand it, given that I was working with secret knowledge my mother had passed down to me. ¡°I¡¯m pretty confident in the ratios of these materials, all of the math is in that notebook over there, and the circle is a modification of the one I use for smaller crystals, with a higher throughput.¡± She pointed to a set of runes on the edge of the circle, ¡°Isn¡¯t this not grammatical?¡± I huffed augh and smiled, appreciating her attempt at a joke. She stared at me, waiting for an answer. My smile dropped. ¡°What do you mean?¡± Her head tilted and her brow furrowed, ¡°I mean it literally just says put rock in energy instead of put energy in rock? Is the grammar supposed to be backwards or¡­¡± This isn¡¯t a very funny prank Lily¡­ ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as sentence structure when ites to runes, they don¡¯t have any concrete grammar.¡± I frowned. ¡°Runes?¡± She turned her focus to the paper again, ¡°Oh, I thought this was just in English, but it''s Demonic, no wonder¡­¡± My frown deepened. ¡°I¡¯m not using anything demonic, these are just magic runes.¡± I shook my head, ¡°I think you¡¯re just seeing things, don¡¯t worry about it too much, I¡¯ve got it handled.¡± She stared up into me for a moment, concerned, but listened to my not-so-subtle dismissal anyways, striding off and shutting herself in her room. I stared at the circle in her absence. It didn¡¯t make sense, what she said. My mother of all people would never mess with anything demonic; she¡¯d spent arge portion of my apprenticeship on the possibility of fighting demons, and she¡¯d made a lot of her riches ¨C mundane and magical ¨C on working with humans against demons. And of course, I¡¯d never touch demons either, being the good daughter that I was ¨C or at least that I was trying to be. I pointedly ignored the ways I¡¯d already touched Lily in the literal sense, and how I continued to remain close to her. She doesn¡¯t count ¨C at least not if I can remain ignorant of her feeding habits. Part 2, Chapter 3 Part 2, Chapter 3 Amber Things were a little tense between me and Lily after I¡¯d shown her my magic work. There weren¡¯t any arguments, per say, it was just that we didn¡¯t talk as much, we didn¡¯t sit as close together on the couch, and we were both outwardly miserable. Being upset with your best friend? Not great. Being upset with your best friend, who¡¯s also your ex-girlfriend and your roommate? Really, really not great. This sucks¡­ By Wednesday, I was scrambling to look for a solution. I could just try to apologize, but I wouldn¡¯t really know what I was apologizing for, because she was the one that used me of using demonic magic. And she was too stubborn to apologize as well, so a solution needed a defter hand. In came Katie. I¡¯d already been nning on getting Lily to talk to Katie, but I figured it would serve double duty now; there was no way either of us could stay mad around my adorable little sister. All I had to do was exin to Lily what was going on and convince her to help. While we¡¯re irritated at each other¡­ Lily wasying on the couch, staring at the ceiling after ss. I approached from my room after a moment to hype myself up. C¡¯mon this is for Katie, you can do this! ¡°Hey, Lily, can I talk to you for a second?¡± She groaned and sat up, shaking the fatigue out. ¡°Hmm?¡± I sat down next to her, but left plenty of space between us. ¡°Umm so my younger sister, Katie, she recently manifested as a subus¡­¡± She blinked, staring at me with sleepiness still in her eyes. ¡°You have a sister?¡± ¡°Uh, I have a few¡­¡± Twenty-six to be exact, assuming our mother hasn¡¯t adopted another since Saturday. I shook my head, ¡°I can tell you a bit about my little sisterster, but Katie is the one I wanted to talk about now. She¡¯s struggling with being a subus, and I was hoping you could talk to her and help her out a bit.¡± She nodded slowly, probably still taking in the fact that I had sisters. Our mother doesn''t like us telling outsiders about the coven, and really, I¡¯ve already told Lily way more than she would be okay with me telling a human, let alone a demon¡­ But I can trust Lily. I smiled at her, d to be on the same page again, even for a moment. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll see when she cane over, thank you so much.¡± ¡ª I weed Katie inside our dorm soon after inviting her, our schedules working out surprisingly well. I took her over to where Lily was waiting, already in her subus form, although she¡¯d thankfully covered up with her normal clothes by transforming and then dressing ahead of time. The three of us sat down on our couch, a boxy red thing that looked nice more than it feltfortable. Katie was in the middle, between me and Lily, but her focus was on the red skinned girl, an awe in her eyes simr to when she saw me do magic. Lily began her lecture, her normal cute and excitable demeanor giving way to patient kindness. ¡°So I got this pamphlet from the school, which exins a bunch of the basics in a way even I can understand,¡± she shrugged, ¡°You can have it, I already read it a bunch of times, and if I need a new one I can just ask.¡± ¡°Thank you Miss Lily,¡± Katie responded. I smiled proudly at the polite demeanor of my student. Lily continued, ¡°So one of the most important things it stressed was that subi feed from intimacy, in whatever form thates. Sex ismon, but not necessary.¡± She blushed and paused, regaining herposure. ¡°Another important note is that we don¡¯t drain energy from people, we create it out of intimacy, and¨C¡± I cut her off, ¡°What? That¡¯s not remotely true.¡± I red past Katie. Good thing I¡¯m here or this could¡¯ve been a disaster¡­ Lily frowned and responded calmly, ¡°That¡¯s what the pamphlet said, and it checks out with my experiences.¡± I rolled my eyes, ¡°Well it would break conservation of magical energy ¨C which would then make everything I know about magic wrong.¡± I stared at her, waiting for her to refute my salient point. She blinked, ncing at Katie, who had backed up into the couch, trying to avoid the line of fire. ¡°Well I don¡¯t know what you want me to say. If your theories go against observable reality¡­¡± Oh sure, she cares about observable reality when ites to this, but the existence of a god? Then it¡¯s just having faith. Typical¡­ ¡°If you care so much about observable reality, then let¡¯s call up who you¡¯ve been feeding on all this time, measure the amount of ambient magic in their body.¡± My stomach swirled with difort at the prospect of knowing for certain who she¡¯d been having sex with, but I stamped down on the feeling, knowing Katie¡¯s education was what was most important here. Her face pulled back in a grimace and her already red skin flushed deeper. ¡°Um¡­¡± ¡°Oh, so you¡¯re all nymphomaniac out there, feeding on whoever, but when ites time to talk about it, you¡¯re suddenly a prude again?!¡± Tears pooled in Lily¡¯s eyes. ¡°Oh my god, leave her alone!¡± Katie yelled, ring at me. I stared at my little sister, shocked. She continued, ¡°Whatever you¡¯re mad about with her, it''s clearly not relevant. Just give her a minute and let her talk¡­¡± her disappointed eyes followed me as I startled backwards. Lily found her voice again. ¡°I¡­ well¡­¡± I leaned forwards slightly, waiting for her to just say it, to finally tell me who she¡¯s been feeding on this whole time. Was it Chris? Was it her previous roommate? Someone I didn¡¯t know? One of the teachers? I refused to blink, eyes straining under my focus. She tried again. ¡°I¡¯ve fed from a few people,¡± she spat the word, ¡°but I haven¡¯t been feeding like that sincest semester.¡± She thought for a moment. ¡°It¡¯s been about two months since I¡¯ve done anything more than hug someone.¡± Katie and I stared at her, Katie catching on to what Lily was saying more than I was, based on her blush. ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± I said, ¡°Where¡¯s your energying from then?¡± My eyes traced Lily¡¯s movements as she stood and walked towards her room, hiding her face from me. Why are you running away, just say it! Put me out of my misery already¡­ She stopped in the doorway of her room, still facing away, and finally spoke. ¡°If I don¡¯t use much magic, I don¡¯t need to do anything other than hang out with you a few times a week¡­¡± She immediately shut herself in the room, the lock clicking behind her. I stared at the hunk of wood, utterly baffled. Silence echoed through the room. My head twisted, looking for answers. Katie was next to me still but was covering her face with both of her hands, a deep blush peeking through at the edges. Lily has been¡­ feeding on me this whole time? A tempest of anger and betrayal swirled within me, fueling my movements as I stood and strode over to Lily¡¯s door. I banged on it with my fist, shaking the wood. ¡°Are you fucking serious Lily? Is that how friends treat each other, like bags of food?!¡± I red at the wood, and when no response came, I considered using magic to get inside. Just a lockpick spell ¨C it would set me back on my materials, but wouldn¡¯t that be worth it? I settled for more yelling. ¡°Or is it just because I fed you that one time ¨C once food, always food?¡± Katie pulled me away from the door, shaking her head sadly. I red at her, ready to shout at her for switching sides at a moment¡¯s notice, but she quickly cast a silencing spell on me, burning some of the materials she carried on her at all times. I taught her that spell. I know she only has enough materials to cast it once, ever, and she cast it now, on me?! My silent yells gave way to silent screams. How could she do this to me, after all of the trust I ced in her? Lily I never thought I¡¯d be missing having Evan as a roommate. The ceiling didn¡¯t respond to my thoughts, remaining as stoic as it had been earlier in the living room. My body sunk deeper into my bed, feeling exhausted in a way I hadn¡¯t for a few months. It turned out when your main source of food is how emotionally intimate you felt with your roommate, getting in a fight made you hungry. Even worse, I really wasn¡¯t in the mood for sex for a multitude of reasons. Mostly I felt guilty and vulnerable ¨C being intimate with someone would require emotional energy I didn¡¯t have. It was one thing to hear the words of my father echoing in my mind every once in a while, but it was another to have that viewpoint validated by the person I felt closest to. Amber was my primary sustenance, and the way that made me feel, the soothing warmth I got in my chest being around her, that impacted the way I treated her. Could that be anything other than treating her like food? And what would the version of me that arrived at this school think; what would he think of the fact that I¡¯d done sexual things with both a man and a woman, that I was considering having sex right now, just to get my fix? How could my actions be anything other than being taken over by my subus instincts? He wouldn¡¯t have done any of this, wouldn¡¯t have treated Amber like that and drove her away. And what an embarrassing way to drive her away. Even if she didn¡¯t properly understand what I¡¯d said, my subus instincts exined it loud and clear every time the scene yed through my mind. For subi, the idea of sustaining yourself on one person without significant physical intimacy, that¡¯s essentially a confession of love, even if it wasn¡¯t necessarily a romantic love. I¡¯d told that to her¡­ to my ex-girlfriend, right in front of her little sister, who definitely knew what I was saying. I grabbed a pillow from beside me and pressed it into my face, stifling my scream. Maybe my dad was right¡­ My lethargic limbs pulled me out of bed, and stumbled me across the room, searching for the things I¡¯d need to pack. Maybe I could get the love I needed from him, if I just gave him another chance. How hard could it be, if I¡¯d gotten so much from Amber, who clearly didn¡¯t reciprocate my feelings? Part 2, Chapter 4 Part 2, Chapter 4 Amber I followed Katie home that evening, thankful our mother wasn¡¯t around to ask why I was there. After what I¡¯d learned, it felt like my mother had been proven right about everything she¡¯d ever taught me and my hopes ¨C my naive belief that Lily was some kind of exception ¨C were wrong. And what a way to learn that lesson. The one thing I was most confident about when it came to Lily¡¯s character, was that she would respect my boundaries. No matter what, whether we disagreed on something or got irritated at each other, I could be confident she wouldn¡¯t overstep. Except that was wrong¡­ My mother always told me that when she was working, demons would plead for their lives, they would say anything and everything, and right when you believed them, believed that they were just a poor victim, that was when they would stab you in the back. She told me that when I was old enough, experienced enough to fill her shoes, I would have to trust my training, even when it seemed wrong¡­ And she was proven right, as bitter of a pill to swallow as that is. I woke up to a knock on my door, and once I got out of bed and let Katie in, I was shaking thest of the lingering sleep from my mind. Katie sat at my desk chair, a dire expression on her face and her posture tense. ¡°Amber, I¡¯m going to only have this conversation with you once, because that was the most horrifying thing I¡¯ve ever seen and if I have to remember it one more time, I¡¯m running away from home.¡± I nodded and sat at the edge of my bed, facing her. It felt horrifying, being betrayed like that. Her sad frown turned into a re. ¡°I really don¡¯t think you get it, but I¡¯m going to try my hardest to make you¡­¡± She let out a sigh, rxing her expression and bringing a dark tinge to her cheeks as her thoughts focused, ¡°I don¡¯t know Lily that well, and I don¡¯t really know what your rtionship is like, but unless she¡¯s your arch nemesis ¨C and even then it might not be okay ¨C what you did yesterday was absolutely horrible.¡± Really? After only one meeting the demons are already conspiring together? I remained silent, keeping my skepticism to myself. ¡°I mean,¡± Katie¡¯s blush darkened, ¡°If what she¡¯s saying is true, the intimacy she feels from being around you, from living together, is enough to sustain her, then that¡¯s¡­¡± She hid her face in both of her hands. ¡°It¡¯s bullshit is what it is.¡± I red, not caring she couldn¡¯t see it given her eyes were still covered. ¡°Magic has toe from somewhere, and now I know why my experiments haven¡¯t been working.¡± Her eyes peeked out at me, brimming with tears. ¡°Oh my god, you¡¯re so¡­¡± She let out a wordless yell, dispelling her mncholy and bringing back her fury. ¡°Please, Amber, even if it¡¯s just for me, give her another chance ¨C keep an open mind. Not everything our mother says has to be exactly correct, maybe there¡¯s room in her theories for demonic magic to work differently.¡± I shook my head, ¡°There¡¯s no room. And besides, Lily imed she could read my magic circle and that it was written in Demonic, so she¡¯s bullshitting me either way.¡± Katie froze and her mouth hung open. ¡°Magic runes are¡­ Demonic?¡± Is she even listening? ¡°No, it¡¯s not, because that would be ridiculous.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s testable.¡± My mouth twisted, contemting. ¡°Maybe, but I couldn¡¯t test with you, assuming you could read ¡®Demonic¡¯ in the first ce,¡± I rolled my eyes, ¡°because you already know how runes are supposed to work.¡± ¡°Please just give her a chance, just test this one thing and see if she was telling the truth,¡± She leaned forwards, pleading. ¡°I¡¯ll consider it¡­ Now get out, I have studying to do.¡± The heavy atmosphere lingered after she¡¯d mmed the door and left, and after I¡¯d sat at my desk to study. For as angry as I was, there were other feelings swirling around the edges of my fury. I was worried about Katie, worried that my fight with Lily would somehow put her demonic nature at risk of being discovered. I was hurt and embarrassed, ashamed to have been so naive to have been taken advantage of, even after all of my studying. And, just as much as I was angry, I was confused. I¡¯d really thought I could trust Lily ¨C it still felt like I could trust Lily. But¡­ that trust was misced? It left a sour feeling in my stomach, fueling all of my other negative emotions. My forehead lowered to my desk, covering the notes I was supposed to be studying in water and salt. Lily The front porch to my father¡¯s house was notforting in its familiarity. His house was a blindingly white three-story suburban thing,plete with a crucifix hanging on the door and a political sign out on thewn. Home sweet home¡­ It took a few moments for him to answer the door, but when he did, staring down at my feminine form wearing my best dress, I didn¡¯t feel the rush of energy I¡¯de to expect when Amber looked at me. That¡¯s fine, maybe I just need to mend our rtionship first. ¡°Can Ie in and talk?¡± He nodded stoically, ¡®unflinching in the face of evil,¡¯ as he would put it. He led me to the dining room table, a circr sheet of clear ss suspended by thin metal arms. It had always been far too big for just the two of us, but it wouldn¡¯t fit more than four peoplefortably. ¡°I¨C¡± I inhaled sharply, trying not to remember why I was here, ¡°I want to try again, fix my mistakes¡­¡± His lips pursed and he sat up, crossing his arms. ¡°And yet you show up here looking like that?¡± His eyebrow raised, doubting my sincerity. ¡°Well¡­ maybe I could be a nun instead of a priest?¡± ¡°Son¨C¡± I winced. ¡°Child¡­ the only reason you feel the way you do is because of your mother¡­¡± At my sigh, he changed directions. ¡°But I¡¯m not entirely unsympathetic to your plight. I want to work with you, to fix things.¡± His voice was calm and slow, methodically poking all of the right buttons. I remained silent, trying to find the right thing to say. ¡°How about this: you can stay like that for now, and we¡¯ll go to see your mother on Sunday afternoon, before mass.¡± Shock and excitement shot through me. After all of this time, my whole life wondering what she¡¯s like, I finally get to see her?! I nodded enthusiastically. Of course, I was either too naive, too hurt, or too stupid to consider why we would go right before mass or why she would be anywhere near the church. The prospect of my father epting me as a woman, of getting to finally meet my mother, was blindingly enticing. ¡ª There were a lot of things on the church property. Of course there was the main hall itself, a grand, old building that always seemed like it should be dustier than it was. Then, there were the sprawling gardens surrounding the building. The property had far morend than it needed, and much of that was taken up by sprawling paths to nowhere and random sheds hidden by trees. Then,stly, and where my father took me to, was the graveyard. Even then, with the evidence of what I was about to see staring at me in the face, demanding to be acknowledged, I still refused to ept it, clinging to my hope. Maybe I could say it was my waning energy, the result of my father¡¯s affection never paying off, never materializing. Maybe I could say that wanting to meet my mother was a childish dream, both a literal hope my younger self had, as well as something that was ignorant to the cruelties of reality the way a child was. But neither of those exined how, when he took me to a gravestone I¡¯d never seen, where there was a list of names, only one date, and no epitaph, I still refused to believe it, clung to hope with conviction, convinced that this couldn¡¯t be the payoff of all of my wanting. My father kneeled and pointed to thest name in the alphabetized list: Zamira. There was nost name. ¡°There¡¯s your mother.¡± He remained as impassive as ever, unflinching in the face of evil. I just stared emptily at it, at the unadorned gravestone with a dozen names, the date just over a year after my birth. He stood and strode off, to give me time to myself or to get prepared for his sermon, I didn¡¯t know. I sat down on the moist grass, staining the same white dress I¡¯d worn when I¡¯de out to my father. I felt the urge to dig, to uncover the secrets hidden by the grave. But there were no secrets. The implications were obvious, and¡­ I just sat there, watching the world slowly spin, staring at the names, the people. Did Mom know them? Are any of her friends among the names, her lovers? Numbness filled my chest, radiated through my body like the winter chill from the ground. But I remained still, waiting until my dad came to pick me up after mass. Amber On Monday I finally returned to school. Chris had texted me over the weekend, expressing concern about Lily, since he apparently hadn¡¯t heard from her in a few days, but I tried not to think about it, simply responding that I didn¡¯t know where she was. It meant I could return to my dorm, however, after checking every corner and closet with one hand on my crystal. Before each ce I checked, I wondered if I would be more relieved or scared to see Lily. I didn¡¯t want to admit the truth. I sat inside my dorm room after my sses, feeling anxious about the fact that at any minute Lily could return, but trying to focus nheless. That focus was quickly broken by a pounding on the door. I had an inkling of who it was, so I wasn¡¯t surprised when I opened it to see Chris standing outside, a distressed frown on his face. I rolled my eyes and let him in, not wanting to bother with arguing out in the hall. ¡°I already told you I don¡¯t know where she is.¡± He growled. ¡°Maybe that¡¯s true, but you have a better idea of what happened. And I can get her scent here, try and track her.¡± ¡°Whatever, just let yourself out when you''re done sniffing her dirty clothes¡­¡± I started walking to my room, but was stopped by Chris grabbing my shoulder. I spun around and raised an eyebrow, frowning. ¡°What happened between you two?¡± The genuine concern on his face gave me a bit of pause when it came to shattering his little puppy heart. But not enough. ¡°Apparently she had been feeding off of me this whole time without me knowing. I found out, and¡­¡± His head tilted and his brow furrowed. ¡°How could she even¡­.? I thought you guys were¡­¡± I shrugged, getting his hand off of my shoulder in the process. ¡°Well I thought she was fucking you, so it turns out she yed us both.¡± I tried to walk away again, but was stopped by his voice. ¡°Wait. How did she do it? Was she like sneaking into your bed at night or¡­¡± His frown twisted into a grimace. I was taken aback. ¡°What? No, it wasn¡¯t like that, subi don¡¯t need physical contact to consume, it just helps.¡± His mouth formed an ¡®o¡¯, ¡°Oh, yea,¡± his expression grew puzzled. ¡°So what¡¯s the problem then?¡± ¡°She was draining me!¡± My arms syed out, waving to punctuate my incredulity. ¡°She told me that wasn¡¯t how it works.¡± Iughed, ¡°You stupidly loyal dog, of course she told you that!¡± He rolled his eyes. ¡°Nice one, never heard that before. She also told me there was this thing she got from the school, why don¡¯t we just go find it and check?¡± I huffed a sigh, resisting the urge to say, ¡®because I have better things to do,¡¯ and instead going into Lily¡¯s room and searching her desk. It didn¡¯t take us long to find it, but as soon as we did, there was an obvious issue. We each pointed it out at the same time. ¡°It was written by demons¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s written in Demonic¡­¡± We blinked, staring at each other. He scowled, ¡°I don¡¯t care who wrote it, I just wish we could read it.¡± I red back, ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t trust demon propaganda even if I could read it.¡± His eyebrows climbed up his face. ¡°And who wrote the book on demons that you do trust?¡± ¡°Scarlet Victory, the famous demon hunter.¡± He stared at me with raised eyebrows for a moment before rolling his eyes. ¡°And if I went to get a copy of the pamphlet from the school in English?¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t care. I¡¯m going to go back to studying, don¡¯t bother me anymore.¡± As I finally walked away for good, I heard Chris mutter under his breath, ¡°If only there was something testable, to verify she was telling the truth¡­¡± ¡ª Testable. Even as I went to my study materials, the word was stuck in my head. I had something testable, and even though I was unfathomably pissed at Lily, Chris was still my friend ¨C or at least my supplier of magic dog drool. Also, my naive little sister had asked me to do a test as well. So I should test the modification Lily had suggested to my circle. It would cost me most of the precious materials I had left, but it would also assuage my guilt, and if Chris asked, I would be able to honestly say I¡¯d done everything I could. I shoved my notes aside, carefully setting up the same spell I¡¯d hadst week with a couple of careful modifications. I¡¯d already tested the same circle after Lily had left, in my own home, but either the magic she had stolen hadn¡¯te back yet, or¡­ After carefully penning a new circle, a process that took the better part of an hour, I was finally ready. I¡¯d been hearing the sounds of Chris¡¯ search dying down in the past few minutes, but I didn¡¯t bother telling him to stay and wait for the results of my test. The circle lit up under my steady power, and I waited for the magic to fizzle and burn. I waited. And waited¡­ ¡°...¡± ¡°Shit.¡± Part 2, Chapter 5 Part 2, Chapter 5 Amber By the time I¡¯d pulled myself out of my stupor and stopped staring at the now enchanted rock, Chris was already gone, making it even more embarrassing when I called his phone and told him toe back. Then I had to actually exin why I called him back, which was also embarrassing, not to mention the slow realization that I might¡¯ve ruined my rtionship with my best friend because of a stupid prejudice ¨C something I''d gotten on her case about before. All in all, it was the most mortifying afternoon of my life, but it was also a relief. It had been hard, holding myself back from getting closer to Lily because of her demon-ness, and if it turned out that was safe to do, something I wasn¡¯t convinced of yet, it would be amazing. I did still have my doubts, but the fact that the magic circle I¡¯d been using was something she could intuitively understand, that was enough to give me bigger doubts about my mother and her teachings than my doubts about Lily. Of course, as relieved about Lily I felt, I was just as apprehensive about my mother and Katie. The feelings swirled and mixed in my stomach, demanding to be sorted through, but there was no time. ¡°So¡­ What now?¡± I asked Chris. He crossed his arms, staring at me, standing near the door to mine and Lily¡¯s dorm. ¡°Well I never got a good lock on her scent, and she left her phone behind, so I was going to check her church ¨C she told me where it was once.¡± I grimaced. ¡°You really think she would go back to her dad¡­?¡± His eyes narrowed, but he didn¡¯t have to say it. I already felt the tight chokehold of my guilt, fueled by the knowledge that I¡¯d stabbed her where she was most vulnerable. I clenched my hands in my pockets, one holding my trusty crystal, and the other my bundle of spellcasting materials. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s stage a rescue.¡± Lily I spent most of my time sleeping, given that I had nothing better to do and no energy to do it with, so I was surprised when my dad ushered Sophia into my room. She¡¯d apparentlye to visit, after hearing through the church gossipwork that I was back with my dad. Although my father pointedly left my bedroom door open, he apparently trusted the girl that had been going to our church for forever enough to leave us alone. I groggily craned my head up, trying to wipe the fatigue out of my eyes. I grumbled at her in ce of a greeting, managing to inflect a questioning tone. ¡°Hey there,¡± she said, waving at me and sitting on the edge of my bed. I moved my hand towards her, leaving it out on the top of the sheets with an implicit request. She rested her hand on mine, providing the soothing intimacy I desperately needed. ¡°Sophia, why are you here?¡± I croaked. ¡°I¡¯m worried about you.¡± Her free hand stroked the back of mine. ¡°I think we both know that this is not where you¡¯re supposed to be. Your dad is not an open-minded man.¡± Bitterness swirled in me at her usation, something I¡¯d already been thinking but had remained petntly oblivious to. ¡°Then why do you bother going to church?¡± She sighed. ¡°There are a lot of reasons I go to church. I feel at ease there, a sense of belonging, at least with the pastors other than your father, and with most of themunity members. I still have faith, because no matter how much I study different things, or how much I learn about science, there still is room for a god.¡± She paused, staring away, into nothingness. ¡°And, church is thest thing I have of some of my family members, thest thing I can cling to to feel like they¡¯re still here.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry for phrasing my question like that, I¡¯m¡­¡± She smiled sadly. ¡°Lily, I understand you¡¯re not doing well right now, but thank you for the apology.¡± We sat in silence for a moment, her hand still stroking mine. ¡°Lily¡­ Why are you here?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± I stopped, thinking. Why am I here? ¡°I originally came here because I wanted to try again with my father¡­¡± I shook my head, ¡°Maybe I just wanted to hurt myself, I deserve it¡­ As for why I¡¯m here now? It¡¯s just so easy to get lulled into the routine of purposeless existence¡­¡± My eyes narrowed staring into her, ¡°Why should I put in the effort to live, to love, if it¡¯s never going to pay off, if all I get for my hard work is the people I love despising my very existence and the knowledge that my mom¡­¡± I sighed and slumped back down, not wanting to finish. Sophia nced at the open door, and then climbed on to the bed fully,ying next to me on top of the sheets and pressing her cheek into mine. ¡°Lily, all of your efforts aren¡¯t without payoff. Think of all of the growth you¡¯ve aplished, the things you¡¯ve learned about yourself and the world, that you never could have before.¡± A satisfied breath escaped me at the contact, making it difficult to focus on her words. Her hand came down to caress my side. ¡°If your father doesn¡¯t love you, that¡¯s his fault,¡± her eyes met mine, ¡°And if there¡¯s someone else that doesn¡¯t love you back¡­ that¡¯s their loss.¡± I remained silent, soaking in her words and feeling our breaths expand and contract our chests, pushing against each other in a rhythmic ebb and flow. Sophia continued, ¡°I¨C¡± she took a deep breath, puffing out a warm minty breeze across my nose, ¡°I care about you a lot Lily, and even if I only get to see you when you¡¯re at your saddest,¡± she shot me a look, ¡°I¡¯ll still care about you, even if it can be a bit painful.¡± I groaned, overwhelmed by the feelings she was giving me, as well as the existing feeling of hopelessness. ¡°What am I supposed to do? How can I continue from this point, with nowhere to go?¡± Even with the energy slowly building in my mind, it was difficult to visualize a way out of this situation. I couldn¡¯t imagine leaving my dad, even though I had once before, and I couldn¡¯t imagine trying to make up with Amber, who had hurt me more than I could¡¯ve imagined. She hummed, rubbing her cheek into mine, seemingly enjoying it as much as I was, even though she didn¡¯t feel the same rush of energy I did. ¡°If you need a ce to stay, my doors are always open.¡± I nced at her with mock-suspicion, ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re not just trying to get me into your bed?¡± Sophia giggled. ¡°Would it be such a bad thing if I wanted you there?¡± She shook her head, ¡°I have a couch too ¨C that¡¯s what I meant. But yes, if you must know, I would very much like to have sex with you again sometime, you¡¯re very pretty and I like you a lot.¡± I blushed, my stomach fluttering at her sweet words. She sent me a sly smile, ¡°Oh, are you weak to praise? Or was it the other thing I said¡­?¡± Oh no, since when did she make me feel like this? I pulled my body away from her, sitting up, but still holding her hand. ¡°How about I show you around?¡± She nced around. ¡°Fine, escape your torture¡­ There¡¯s hardly anything here anyways.¡± And that was true. My room was a small white box, a mostly empty dresser and an entirely empty closet being the only ces things could be, but other than a few clothes, all there was was a framed photo sitting on the dresser. She honed in on it, dragging me over and grabbing it with her free hand. It was a group photo of our bible study group, meaning both Sophia and I were in the picture. It also meant that I could barely see myself, something I¡¯d appreciated about this photo for some reason¡­ She stared at it with narrowed eyes. ¡°Where are you? Are you even in this picture?¡± I pointed to the edge of the frame, ¡°That¡¯s me in the corner.¡± Her eyes went wide, ¡°That doesn¡¯t even look like you!¡± We both startled, stepping away from each other and letting our hands drop, when my dad barged in the room behind us. His face was impassive. ¡°There''s some people at the door I¡¯d like you to meet.¡± He strode away, apparently not taking no for an answer. I nced at Sophia. ¡°This can¡¯t be good, right?¡± She shrugged, not knowing any more than me. Amber After asking around at Lily¡¯s church ¨C thankfully catching some people at the end of Monday evening mass ¨C we were able to inquire where the priest Mr. Taylor lived, without expending any of my more valuable spells. All that was left was to walk there and, assuming she was even there, convince Lily toe back to school. How hard could it be? As I walked side by side with Chris, not quite speed walking, but not taking our time either, the chilledte-winter air prodded at us from all sides. Chris spoke, evidently not content to wait until after everything had been fixed. ¡°So, you and Lily, huh?¡± My lips pursed. ¡°There¡¯s noth¨C¡± I cut myself off. ¡°It¡¯splicated,¡± I turned to him, ¡°I thought you¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯re¡­ friends.¡± I snorted. He shed a wide smile,ughing. ¡°I¡¯m serious! I tried to take her out on a date, and it was nice, but¡­¡± ¡°But she¡¯s dense, and didn¡¯t understand what was going on?¡± I knew exactly what he meant, given that when we¡¯d started dating over the summer, I was the one to ask her out after we¡¯d repeatedly run into each other at the grocery store, somehow breaking into smalltalk each time. And when I had asked her out, I¡¯d needed to be very forward about it; she¡¯d been confused about my vague-but-blunt ¡®let¡¯s get a coffee sometime¡¯. His smile continued, staring down at his feet moving across the sidewalk, getting closer and closer to our destination. ¡°Hmm, I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve got it right. Of course, you are right about her being dense, but that wasn¡¯t the issue. It was just¡­ I didn¡¯t really want more? Like, she¡¯s attractive and all but¡­¡± ¡°Huh.¡± I thought through what I knew about Chris, his limited experience and his sexuality, ¡°Are you romantically attracted to women at all?¡± He shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t really know. Attraction feels different with a dude than with ady, but that¡¯s just because I have a strong preference, right?¡± I silently nodded along to his words, not having an answer for his dilemma, also thinking about my own rtionship with her. It would inevitably change ¨C already had changed ¨C and I couldn¡¯t help but wish that we could go back to being friends like a couple weeks ago, or go back to uplicatedly dating like we had been months ago. Of course, that wasn¡¯t possible, and it was my fault. I owed her a thousand apologies and as much making up as she would allow me, assuming she didn¡¯t shun me entirely. I feel so stupid. Why didn¡¯t I just listen to her, listen to my own feelings? Chris was possibly interested in her, and she may or may not return the feelings ¨C I¡¯d certainly gotten the impression that she was fond of him, but in what way, I wasn¡¯t sure. And even though I wanted more, I would be okay with being her friend, if she let me. Besides, even if she did forgive me and wanted to date me ¨C both ridiculous propositions on their own ¨C there was still the issue of my mother to contend with. No, I would apologize, we could hopefully go back to being friends, and I would have to avoid thinking about what could¡¯ve been. I sighed and kicked a pebble across the sidewalk in time with my strides, watching as it skipped across the street. Chris stopped and turned to face the house we¡¯d just arrived at, one that looked exactly like all of the others. I stared up at the towering whiteness. ¡°He¡¯s probably not going to tell us if Lily is there, right?¡± Chris nodded. ¡°Should I cast an illusion, make us look like someone else?¡± Another nod, and he was already walking down the path to the door. I guess we¡¯re not nning this out? As he knocked on the door, I set about casting an illusion spell, one hand on my crystal and the other holding my bundle of materials. It was a clever thing, designed by my mother to do as much with our little magic power as possible, letting the target fill in what they expected, while skewing it towards what the caster desired. That didn¡¯t mean it wasn¡¯t expensive or difficult however; illusion was the most costly spell out of the ones I regrly carried the materials for. Make us look like someone Mr. Taylor would want to talk to Lily. Mr. Taylor opened the door, and upon seeing us, pursed his lips into a tight smile. ¡°You¡¯re from the squad, right? Here for my son?¡± This is why we¡¯re supposed to n¡­. I took over, making it up as I went along. ¡°Yes, Mr. Taylor, we¡¯re d to be here. Is it alright if we meet your child so we can get this started?¡± He nodded. ¡°Better to get this over with.¡± He stared into me, face cold. ¡°Believe me, I get no pleasure out of doing this.¡± He strode off to get Lily and I celebrated his absence. ¡°What an unpleasant man¡­¡± I whispered. Chris nodded. ¡°Step one down.¡± Part 2, Chapter 6 Part 2, Chapter 6 Lily Sophia and I strode down the stairs to the entryway. I felt ufortable the whole way, missing Sophia¡¯s hand in mine, still ruminating on our conversation. Could I really leave my father for good? Is there really no hope for him changing his mind? Halfway down the steps we could see the porch from above through a window, where two people were waiting for us. ¡°Shoot, that doesn¡¯t look good¡­¡± Sophia said. I shook my head. ¡°Not really¡­¡± Outside there were two people, a man and a woman, both wearing a white button-up and holding a bible. They looked every bit like normal Jehovah''s witness types, but the fact that my father wanted me to meet them suggested there was something more at y. We both turned around on the stairs without a word when we heard my father¡¯s steps echoing from the hall between the kitchen to the entryway. Back at the top I stared at her, whispering. ¡°What now? Going down there seems like a really bad idea¡­¡± She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of view of the lower floor. ¡°Got any windows to jump out of?¡± I pointed her up the stairs one more floor, where the master bedroom, and more importantly, its balcony were. I pulled my magic to the front of my mind, trying to feel out if I could use something to help us get down uninjured. By the time we¡¯d made it out onto thending, we could hear my father¡¯s voice searching for me behind us. This is it, where I finally decide who I want to be. I nced back in the direction of my father, through the walls of the house between us, thinking about the years I¡¯d spent here, years spent miserable and repressed. I thought of my mother, of the grave I¡¯d seen, the implications of the image, of the holes in the story my father told me about her. I turned to Sophia, ¡°Kiss me,¡± I told her, transforming to my true form and manifesting a short ck gothic dress, thece almostpletely see through, exposing most of my skin. She stared at me for a moment, confused, and then grabbed my face between her hands and brought her lips down to mine. The kiss was hot and heavy, quick and dirty, but tempered by the way our hands moved together, finding each other¡¯s and intecing our fingertips together. Her body pushed into mine, pressing my back against the railing and letting my hair dangle out over the backyard. Intimacy was a strange concept, even after all of my experience gathering energy. The feelings I associated with it were rtively easy to identify ¨C a warmth in my chest, a fluttering in my stomach, a peace of mind ¨C but anticipating it? Not as easy. I couldn¡¯t have told you before experiencing it how much energy Sophia¡¯s kiss would give me. Logic would¡¯ve pulled me in several conflicting directions, pointing out how long we¡¯d known each other, that we still didn¡¯t really know each other, that I wasn¡¯t sure I was ready to let someone in again, that I already had. All of that was to say that when our hands sped and an overwhelming rush of energy filled me, it was somehow unsurprisingly surprising ¨C or maybe surprisingly unsurprising. My brain melted, taking away my capacity for coherent sentences, but not my ability to take action. I broke off our kiss, lifted Sophia in a princess carry, climbed over the railing, and jumped off the balcony, sprouting massive ck leathery wings on the way down. She giggled into my corbone, sping her hands around my neck and staring at me with joy and mirth in her eyes. ¡°Take me away, my dashing princess.¡± My wings slowed our descent with a few ps, a loud thump of air resounding each time, propelling us over the neighbor¡¯s fence and out over the sidewalk. As much as I wanted to fly all the way to her bedroom ¨C or mine ¨C I¡¯d rather not get reports about people seeing a demon flying around town. I instead took us to the ground, transforming back to my human body and running alongside Sophia, hand-in-hand. Maybe I¡¯m not as alone as I thought¡­ Amber I nced at Chris. ¡°She¡¯s taking a long time¡­¡± ¡°Maybe she¡¯s just really low on energy?¡± Despite his apparent optimism his mouth was twisting back and forth. ¡°Maybe she doesn¡¯t want to see me¡­¡± Heughed. ¡°I¡¯m sure she doesn¡¯t.¡± I shot him a re. ¡°But she¡¯de talk to you anyway, I think. Even when she was avoiding you it wasn¡¯t that she wouldn¡¯t talk to you, it was that she was putting it off, because she didn¡¯t want to deal with it.¡± ¡°Maybe.¡± Or maybe I fucked up so bad this time that I ruined everything. I pped my cheeks, reinvigorating myself. ¡°Fuck this,¡± I said, walking through the still-open door. ¡°Hell yeah!¡± Chris followed me, sniffing the air, looking for traces of Lily. ¡°Upstairs, I think.¡± I nodded, smiling at his unintentional pun and running up the stairs, towards the yells of Lily¡¯s father calling for her. We reached where he was, what was apparently her bedroom, but she was gone. Why would she leave now of all times, right when we came to get her¡­ I turned to Chris. I couldn¡¯t see my own illusion, a downside of the spell, but he could. ¡°What do we look like¡­?¡± We ignored the confused yells of Mr. Taylor as he stormed off, looking for his daughter. ¡°We look like well-dressed religious people, like holding a book or whatever?¡± My palm pped to my forehead, and I pulled Chris back towards outside, scampering down the stairs as fast as we could. This is why we¡¯re supposed to n! ¡°She probably thought we were conversion camp people or something and ran off!¡± When we got out to the sidewalk, Chris stopped us for a moment, sniffing, and then inched down the street. ¡°I¡¯ve got a lead,¡° He said, ¡°We won¡¯t catch up while she¡¯s moving, but once she stops we¡¯ll find her.¡± Lily Sophia ended up wanting to stop by her dorm before going to mine. Hers was kind of on the way ¨C if you took a circr path around town, more than doubling the distance ¨C but I needed to go to mine as well, needing to catch up on my studies if I wanted to continue attending college. On the way over I¡¯d been preparing to confront Amber, to exin myself better to her, to finally put my foot down, settle our differences and firmly establish what our rtionship would be, but she just wasn¡¯t there. It made me anxious, the prospect that she could be back at any moment. But¡­ Amber could also not Sophia sat on my bed and watched as I got changed, chatting with me all the while. We talked about her college ¨C she went to a different local college and studied Biology ¨C and how there were no supernatural people there ¨C at least none that weren¡¯t hiding well. Apparently, I¡¯d ended up at the school for halloween monsters, at least within the region, and the administration had some kind of ties to Hell, although I still didn¡¯t understand what or where Hell was. I talked about the events that led me to my father¡¯s house, blushing all the way through exining how I felt ¨C how I had felt for Amber. She gave me a sad,passionate smile at my correction. We both knew I still had feelings for Amber, regardless of the situation between us, and that wouldn¡¯t be changing anytime soon. Once I¡¯d finished getting dressed in some sweats, a sports bra, and an oversized t-shirt, I sat in my desk chair, staying across the room from Sophia. I didn¡¯t feel any need to get closer, even if it would give me more energy. But maybe I wanted to get closer, not because I was a subus, but because I liked her, because Sophia had been there for me in a way that no one else had. For as much as I¡¯d changed, as bold as I¡¯d gotten, I¡¯d always had the excuse of ¡®I¡¯m just getting energy¡¯ when having sex, as flimsy as it was. Now, however, I wanted to express to Sophia how much she meant to me ¨C I wanted to take things slow and enjoy every moment. Shoot, I have no idea what I¡¯m doing¡­ Sophia was smiling at me, a bright thing that I didn¡¯t want to interrupt. I went for it anyway. ¡°So Sophia, you know how you said that thing before?¡± She giggled, shaking her head, eyes full of mirth. I had a feeling that she did somehow know, despite my poor phrasing, but she wanted me to say it anyway. Well I¡¯m not going to give her the satisfaction. I know how to take charge too. I stood, walked over to her, remaining in my human form for now, and sat across herp, wrapping my arms behind her neck. ¡°Sophia, it means a lot ¨C how much you¡¯ve supported me when I wasn¡¯t supporting myself.¡± Tears formed in my eyes. Stupid subus, you¡¯re supposed to be horny right now, not sappy¡­ She brought her hand up to cup my cheek, brushing her thumb across my smooth skin and staring into my eyes. My insides turned into warm goo. I stared at her lips, opening and closing my mouth, trying to find the right words to ask for permission. ¡°Kiss me,¡± She said, smile still on her face. I opted for listening to her instead of taking the time to insist that I could take charge. Our lips met, pressing together in a slow dance, and I just started weeping. Tears poured out of me in long streams as Sophia pulled me into her chest, dirtying her neat mustard blouse with my snot. I¡¯m even a failure at being a subus¡­ I had no idea where it had alle from, the rush of overwhelming ineptitude, the buildup of feeling like I hadn¡¯t lived up to any of what I was supposed to be on any front. There was also this acute emotional sensitivity, the feeling that not only was I in a state that was easily hurt, but so fragile as to make my calm untenable. I¡¯d just copsed under the feeling of existing, the sheer reality of my life being too much to handle in that moment. Sobs shook my body as I clung to her, my chest aching with inexplicable grief. Sophia, bless her heart, took it all in stride, shifting from kissing me toforting me, rolling us on to my bed, meying her in her arms, face in her chest while she stroked my back. Thankfully, likely because of the sheer volume of my tears, they dried up quickly, leaving me with a mundane exhaustion ¨C and dimly registered embarrassment ¨C that lulled me towards sleep. Because of my outburst, neither of us heard the front door open. Part 2, Chapter 7 Part 2, Chapter 7 Lily All of the preparing to confront Amber I¡¯d done went out the window when she barged into my room, mouth hung open when she saw me in Sophia¡¯s arms. Not that I wasn¡¯t ready for the conversation, thought it didn¡¯t need to be done. It was just that all of that preparation fell out of my head as soon as she opened her mouth. ¡°Lily, what the fuck?! We¡¯re so worried about you and¨C¡± From behind her, Chris came in and covered Amber¡¯s mouth with his hand. ¡°You¡¯re here to apologize, you dumbass,¡± he whisper-shouted. Amber made a face like she¡¯d bitten into a lemon, shrugging Chris off and regathering herposure. ¡°I¡¯m d to see you¡¯re okay Lily, can we have a discussion at your earliest convenience?¡± ¡°Uhh¡­¡± I sat up, wiping the fatigue out of my eyes, ¡°Yeah, sure, we have a lot to discuss.¡± She stared at Sophia, her expression not outright hostile. ¡°Are you okay with her leaving us alone for a moment¡­?¡± I nodded and kissed Sophia on the cheek, feeling the need to assert myself in this confusing and overwhelming situation. No matter the oue of our discussion, it was important to me that the woman who had been there for me understood how much I cared for her, and if I made that point to Amber at the same time, so be it. Sophia left, her hand lingering on my leg as it was dragged away by the rest of her body moving out into the living room with Chris, introducing herself on the way and quickly making friends with him. I had no doubts they would get along, given how easygoing they both were. ¡°Um, that¡¯s Sophia by the way. She¡¯s¨C We¡¯re like¡­ childhood friends.¡± I need to have a conversation with Sophia too¡­ god I want a nap. Amber shut the door and strode to the middle of the room, crossing her arms and remaining standing, frowning down at me. The tension flowed out of her body as she spoke, ¡°Lily, I am so unbelievably sorry,¡± her eyes closed, ¡°I¨C I felt betrayed because I trusted that you wouldn¡¯t get energy from me, basing my thoughts on my own misconceptions on how magic worked, and when you revealed that you had been¡­ It felt like you had broken my trust, vited me in the way I expected least.¡± I opened my mouth but her eyes opened and she held up a hand, indicating that she wasn¡¯t done yet, despite the pause. ¡°But even with all that, what I said wasn¡¯t okay. I should¡¯ve¡­ I should''ve trusted you in the first ce, but beyond that, I should¡¯ve taken the time to work everything out, do experiments and help find a solution together ¨C if there even was a problem.¡± She sighed, ¡°I let my temper get the better of me, I¡¯m sorry, and I want to do everything I can to make that up to you.¡± I let myself fall back, thumping into the bed and staring into the ceiling. ¡°Thank you for apologizing.¡± I didn¡¯t know if I wanted to say more, if it would be productive to say more. Amber shuffled in ce, ufortable with my curt response. ¡°Amber, how am I supposed to respond? How am I supposed to feel?¡° ¡°You feel how you feel, and whatever that is, it¡¯s valid¡­?¡± Her tone was hesitantly questioning, unsure if she should be giving me permission to let loose my feelings on her. ¡°Well I¡¯m pissed, so there.¡± I turned my head to re at her. She grimaced. ¡°If you thought you had your trust broken, but it just turned out you were being a dumbass, then what am I supposed to do, when you broke my trust and told me the one thing that would hurt me the most, treated me like my father treated me? My trust in you was broken, how do I deal with that?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°How am I supposed to feel when I thought you despised me so much that I thought it would be easier to make up with my father than with you?¡± I let out a long exhale, and she watched, silently awaiting my judgment. My eyes flicked up from the floor, where they¡¯d fallen, to her face. ¡°I just¨C how can you be so stupid?! Like, sure, I ran away from you after I said what I said, but that was because of the embarrassing implications of it, not the nefarious implications! And even if I had been sucking you dry, why would I admit it?! I could¡¯ve just imed it was Chris who was feeding me ¨C which was partially true ¨C and asked him to let you measure his magic, which I¡¯m sure wouldn¡¯t have been abnormal!¡± My fists tensed, rising in the air above me and mming down onto my bed in a synchronized thump. ¡°And how perfect is it that right before you were being all condescending to me, saying ¡®oh no Lily is a moron, of course she can¡¯t understand magic, she can¡¯t even do stoichiometry¡¯? How perfect is it that you think that and then you act like aplete buffoon, a stubborn fool that won¡¯t take the time to think things through?¡± Amber winced, tension building in her posture. ¡°But the stupidest part is that even with all of that being the case, I still love you¡­¡± I turned away again, trying not to choke up under the weight of my feelings, ¡°I have no control over it. I waspletely distraught, broken after you tore into me, but even then, when I was deprived of affection, lying in my childhood bedroom, I never even fantasized about you apologizing to me and us making up.¡± I paused for a moment, huffing in breath to fuel my rant. ¡°I just felt abandoned. Abandoned by you and betrayed by my own heart¡­¡± Amber¡¯s resigned tone barely reached my ears. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ sorry¡­ Should I just leave¡­?¡± ¡°You idiot¡­ I just told you I love you, get over here and give me a hug.¡± Thankfully, she listened, not that I got much out of it. I was asleep after the third time she ran her hand through my hair,pletely spent and relieved of the tension I¡¯d been carrying. Amber I tip-toed out of the room, gently closing the door to avoid disturbing Lily¡¯s sleep. It was early night, and although I was absolutely ready to fall asleep with her, I still had more talking to do. I strode up to Sophia, a pretty blonde girl with a kind smile, and waved. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m Amber.¡± She was sitting on the couch, while Chris was sitting in the loveseat, the conversation they¡¯d been having dying down as I arrived. Her smile turned tepid when she looked at me. ¡°So you¡¯re the infamous Amber I¡¯ve been hearing so much about¡­¡± I grimaced, sitting down next to her on the couch, but leaving plenty of space between us. Everyone here was at least a little mad at me, rightfully so, and I had a lot of work to do, fixing that. Chris picked the conversation up, probably the least mad at me out of the three. ¡°So, how¡¯d it go?¡± ¡°Umm¡­¡± I blinked, trying to find the words to describe the conversation I¡¯d just had. ¡°We¡¯re¡­ getting there. It went as well as you could expect.¡± He raised an eyebrow. ¡°So shepletely forgave you because she¡¯s a softie?¡± ¡°Maybe not that well,¡± I paused for a moment, ¡°Or maybe even better than that. I¡¯m still figuring out what I want between us in the first ce. I mean there¡¯s you two, and there¡¯s my family¡­¡± Sophia nced at Chris, ¡°I can¡¯t speak for the puppy, but it is my understanding that subi having multiple partners is rather standard, despite how¡­ imprudent I find the idea of her dating you,¡± her face turned to me, eyes rolling along the way, ¡°And given my conversation with her earlier, I have no doubt about Chris¡¯ assessment of her being a softie for you is true.¡± My lips pursed, but I only responded to her first point. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure. I can¡¯t trust any of my knowledge on demons, given that my textbook would¡¯ve phrased it as ¡®multiple victims¡¯.¡± Chris shrugged. ¡°Someone has to be there to keep Amber in check.¡± He shed me a smile, taking the bite out of thement. Sophia narrowed her eyes at me, ¡°I¡¯m sure the whole ¡®if you hurt her again¡­¡¯ type threat doesn¡¯t need to be said?¡± I sunk back into the couch. ¡°Yes¡­ I know¡­¡± My tone sounded defeated, even to myself. A silence settled over the room. I yawned, drained after the long day. ¡°Do you two want to stay here so we can all talk with her in the morning?¡± Sophia nodded. ¡°If there¡¯s a space for me, that would be convenient. I can skip my sses tomorrow, they¡¯re just lectures on material I¡¯ve already studied.¡± Chris shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s probably just better for me to go to my dorm ¨C it¡¯s not that far of a walk.¡± He stood, heading towards the door. ¡°Goodnight, text me when everyone''s up. I have a ss in thete morning, but I want to be there for this conversation if I can.¡± Once he left it was just me and Sophia. Neither of us wanted to invade Lily¡¯s bed, especially when she was feeling so fragile ¨C even if she would probably be okay with it. ¡°So there¡¯s the couch, and there¡¯s my bed¡­¡± I shrugged, leading her towards my bathroom with a gesture. ¡°I¡¯m sleeping in my bed, and I don¡¯t care which one you chose.¡± She red. ¡°I¡¯m not sleeping in your bed.¡± I shrugged and gave her an extra toothbrush, going through my nightly routine in parallel with her. My mind wandered, exploring all of the ces it hadn¡¯t had time to yet. My mother was the thing most on my mind. What did it mean that our magic circles were in Demonic? What did it mean if our textbooks on demons were wrong? What did it mean for Katie who I¡¯d told to suppress her instincts and given her my old books? I cursed under my breath. I needed to see Katie, and it couldn¡¯t wait until Saturday. Although, I did need to n a bit, to circumvent our mother. I settled for texting her for now, as Iid down on my bed. ¡°Everything I think I know about demons is wrong, those textbooks I gave you are bs, I¡¯ll see you asap about this. Sorry for what I did to Lily, I¡¯m trying to make up with her. I love you.¡± I sighed, mentally adding another thing to the pile of urgent tasks to take care of. I settled into bed, snuggling under the covers and hugging one of my pillows, wishing it was Lily. A few minutes went by, but just when I was about to fall asleep, my door creaked open. Sophia¡¯s quiet voice echoed across the room. ¡°Amber?¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± I yawned. ¡°Is the offer of your bed still on the table? You never gave me a nket, and that couch is rubbish anyways¡­¡± ¡°Sure¡­¡± I mumbled, cursing myself for forgetting to give her a nket. A few momentster, the mattress sank and the sheets rustled as she dug herself under the covers. A rush of cold air flooded my space, making me shiver, hugging my pillow tighter. My bed was not big enough for two people to sleeppletely independent of one another, meaning I could feel her sapping my heat, even if we weren¡¯t quite touching. ¡°Why¡¯re you so cold?¡± I whined, tugging the sheets back towards me, trying to escape. ¡°Maybe if you¡¯d been a proper host I wouldn¡¯t be so cold,¡± she shot back, probably ring at me. ¡°Well maybe if you weren¡¯t such a frigid bitch it¡¯d be easier for you to warm up,¡± I winced as soon as I said it, already regretful. Sophia grabbed one of my pillows and smacked my head with it, a loud thump ringing in my ear. ¡°Yeah, I probably deserved that.¡± ¡°You really did.¡± I was d for the darkness obscuring the smug expression she probably had. Just as we were finally settling down, done with our arguing ¨C at least for now ¨C we heard a door m open, followed by a quiet stomping and a knock on my door. ¡°I¡¯ming in, you two better not be banging in there,¡± Lily¡¯s irritated voice rang out. Sophia and I cursed under our breaths. Lily barged in, standing with her hands on her hips. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± Sophia spoke first, ¡°She¡¯s annoying and mean.¡± I followed, wanting to be honest to at least get one over on her on that front. ¡°I¡¯m envious of her because I feel like she¡¯s closer to you and doesn¡¯t keep fucking things up.¡± ¡°Fucking kids¡­¡± Lily muttered, striding over to my bed and crawling between us, making her way under the covers. ¡°There¡¯s not enough room for three people,¡± I protested, despite wanting to share space with Lily. Lily responded, ¡°Then you¡¯re not cuddling up to me enough. Goodnight.¡± After a moment of hesitation, I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, ignoring the fact that she was naked, the way my arms curled around Sophia on the other side, and the way hers were around me. Warmth was no longer an issue in our Lily sandwich, and we all quickly drifted off, pressed together. Part 2, Chapter 8 Part 2, Chapter 8 Lily After a week of waking up still feeling exhausted, this was paradise. Hell, this would be paradise in any context, being sandwiched between two attractive women who cared for me ¨C although I would prefer it if they got along better. But that could go on my pile of things to take care ofter, along with scrambling to catch up on my sses, spelling out my rtionships, and getting more diverse sources of energy. That¡¯s right, I¡¯m actually learning something from this whole debacle, go me! Something I realized after Amber did her thing was that I¡¯d been relying on her too much, and regardless of whether that was a mundane emotional reliance or a magical energy reliance, it was unhealthy of me to put so much weight on my rtionship with her. It would be better for me to make new friends, have a life outside of my partner(s) if I wanted my rtionships to seed, and I already had a few ideas about that. Of course, that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t enjoy Amber and Sophia¡¯s energy when we weren¡¯t fighting, as evidenced by my current situation. I hummed, squirming my naked body against their clothes and the sheets. During the night, not much had changed. I had spun, changing from facing Amber to facing Sophia, and Amber¡¯s hands hade up to cup my chest from behind. I nced down and giggled, full of relief and joy, and wanting to express it. If only the humans would wake up faster¡­ As if summoned by my thoughts, they both began stirring, Amber groaning and Sophia yawning, rubbing her eyes. ¡°Good morning my loves,¡± I beamed at them and sat up on my knees, feeling too euphoric to care about how sappy and forward I was being, even if I knew I would be embarrassed about itter. They both reacted with dyed confusion, staring bleary eyed through lingering sleepiness. ¡°Wake up already,¡± I whined, ¡°I want to date both of you right now, even if there¡¯s a bunch of reasons not to, and whichever of you is willing to y nice with the other gets to fuck me immediately.¡± Amber coughed, more awake now, while Sophia just repeatedly blinked at me. My hand came up to rub my brow, ¡°No, wait I¡¯m doing this wrong. I want you to get along, but if you don¡¯t want to I shouldn''t make you¡­ or should I? Goddamn, rtionships are hard enough with one partner. Wait, neither of you epted, so really there¡¯s only one person I¡¯m in a rtionship with, which is myself. And yea, I know this is all rushing things but I want you both, and I hope that¡¯s okay, and I know Sophia lives further away and Amber lives here and that¡¯s a disaster waiting to happen and¨C¡± Sophia covered my mouth with her hand. Amber¡¯s tired voice croaked behind me. ¡°Lily, it¡¯s six in the morning.¡± I nced at the clock, down at my naked body, and then at each of them, removing Sophia¡¯s hand. ¡°So? Did you miss the part about fucking me?¡± ¡°No, I can assure you¨C¡± Amber¡¯s voice cut out when she saw Sophia press her lips into mine, tongue quickly invading my mouth and swirling around mine, bringing my true form out immediately. I moaned into her mouth, hands reaching down to tug at her shirt needily. For as sappy as I¡¯d just been, I was extremely horny, impatient after my long period of celibacy. She quickly got the hint, breaking away from our kiss to throw off her shirt, revealing no bra underneath. We attacked each other¡¯s chests with our hands, groping, pinching and fumbling as she climbed on top of me, pressing me back into the pillows and biting my lip, her heavy gaze staring into my eyes. Amber remained quiet, watching us with an open mouth and wide eyes. My back arched and my hands lost coordination as Sophia pinched my nipples. ¡°Are you gonna¨C fuck,¡± I cursed, gasping as her mouth moved to my neck, biting me there too, tugging on the skin, I tried again, ¡°Are you gonna join in, or just watch?¡± Thest few words came out as a high moan when Sophia¡¯s knee found its way between my legs, grinding into my needy sex. Am I even ready for Amber to join in? I can¡¯t even handle Sophia on her own withoutpletely falling apart. Although, that¡¯s the best part¡­ Amber remained incredulous, ¡°Shouldn''t we¡­¡± ¡°Ah, shit,¡± I cursed, ¡°Stop Sophia.¡± She listened immediately, a strand of saliva connecting my neck to her mouth for a moment as she pulled away, sitting up on her knees, her body still between my legs. ¡°Are you okay, Amber?¡± I asked, ¡°We shouldn''t''ve done this in your bed without asking.¡± ¡°Shouldn¡¯t we¡­ talk about dating first?¡± she said, skirting around what Sophia and I had just been doing. ¡°If you need to, that¡¯s totally fine, Sophia and I can move to my room and leave you for a moment.¡± Sophia chimed in, ¡°Or if you want to just watch that¡¯s fine too.¡± I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was d she hadn¡¯t said something antagonistic, but¡­ ¡°Lily, I just¡­ want to know what our rtionship is before we jump into things.¡± Amber said, ¡°Can we take a minute to talk that out before¡­¡± She blushed. It was weird, seeing Amber so timid. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was how forward I was being, Sophia¡¯s presence, or her recent mistakes that was causing it, but I did want her to be morefortable. ¡°Yeah, sure. I think I said everything I wanted to already, but if you were still sleeping, I want to date you two, and I recognize there are a lot of challenges thate with that, but I¡¯m determined to give it a go anyways.¡± Amber nodded slowly. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m interested in dating you, and I¡¯m open to you having multiple partners, so we¡¯re on the same page there,¡± she nced at Sophia. ¡°And although she and I didn¡¯t get off to the best start, I¡¯m ready to try to fix that.¡± Sophia nodded, ¡°If it needs to be said, I¡¯d love to date you, and I¡¯ll be there whenever you¡¯re sad, since apparently that¡¯s my job,¡± she huffed augh, at least having humor about the fact that I seemed to keep ending up crying in her arms. ¡°Um, there¡¯s also the issue of my family¡­¡± Amber said. ¡°What about them?¡± ¡°Well, my mom is¡­ well, she was a demon hunter¡­ and¡­¡± She grimaced. ¡°Oh,¡± I let out. Sophia stepped in, ¡°What about your sister? Lily told me about her and if your mom is¡­¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t figured out how to best help Katie. I¡¯m not sure if there¡¯s much I can do, beyond getting her the right information, at least proactively speaking. I have a feeling the best thing for me to do would be to make sure she has a strong support system for if our mom finds out about her.¡± I¡¯d already thought about this a bit. ¡°We should set up another meeting between Katie and I.¡± ¡°Are you sure? I can handle it¡­¡± ¡°First off, just because you can do it alone doesn¡¯t mean you should. Katie and I are pals now, so I want to help her too. Secondly, I¡¯m a subus, so I¡¯m in a unique position to understand what she needs. Thirdly¡­¡± I huffed a sigh, ¡°Look, we¡¯re going to fight again, at some point. I¡¯m going to argue with both of you in the future because that¡¯s just how rtionships are, and if that¡¯s the case then I can¡¯t be solely reliant on you for my energy.¡± They both remained silent, mulling over my words. ¡°And, sure, hopefully in the future I have a big enough buffer to make us fighting not be an issue, but I never want to feel like that again, physically drained as well as emotionally torn just because my meal decided to be a¡­ witch.¡± Sophia giggled. I continued, finishing my thought, ¡°So I should have more friends, and Katie ¨C literally the only person like me I know ¨C would be a great ce to start.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right, it just feels like such a hopeless problem¡­ Even if we help Katie out somehow, I still don¡¯t see a way to date you and have a rtionship with my mother¡­¡± ¡°Yeah, I definitely get that.¡± My mouth twisted, following my conflicted thoughts. ¡°I don¡¯t know if either of us can tell you the right thing to do there, I think that¡¯s a decision you have to make, but whatever you decide, I¡¯ll support you.¡± She nodded slowly. Sophia reached down and dragged her fingertips down my torso, causing me to shiver. ¡°Can we go back to having sex yet?¡± Amber sat up, squirming. ¡°You¡¯re sure it''s safe for us to¡­? Magically speaking¡­¡± I nodded, ¡°I¡¯ve only been with you two and Chris before, and none of you have reported feeling drained by me,¡± I shrugged, ¡°We can start an experiment now, have sex every day and see how long youst before you need a break from mundane exhaustion.¡± Amber¡¯s face slowly lit up as she started to find her confidence again. ¡°I do like experiments¡­¡± She nced at Sophia, ¡°Do you think the two of us can satisfy our needy subus?¡± Sophia¡¯s eyes started tracing down Amber¡¯s still clothed body, honing in on the bits of exposed skin, before she realized what she was doing and looked away, blushing. ¡°I think either of us alone could satisfy her. I¡¯m determined to fuck her hard enough to make her go back to sleep so I can make her stay in bed with me all day,¡± she grinned down at me, groping my chest possessively with one hand, ¡°Don¡¯t worry my little demon, I can help you studyter¡­¡± Somehow her offer of studying with me sounded sexy, although I couldn¡¯t exin why. Maybe it was the hungry look in her eyesbined with the way she touched me, like I was hers. Maybe it was the image in my mind, of me naked on herp at my desk, her fingering me into incoherence every time I got a study question right. Or maybe I was just really horny because Amber had taken off her clothes, skipping straight to fully naked. My girlfriends ¨C a stupid grin graced my face at the title ¨C both brought their faces to my torso, and began their assault. Amber was to my side, licking and kissing her way up my abdomen, towards my chest. She was gentle, mixing in caresses from her hands on my legs and arm, and asionally ghosting her teeth on my skin, but never biting. Sophia on the other hand, was determined to leave as many marks as she could. She went straight for a bite, pinching a bit of skin to the side of my chest between her teeth, staring up at me to make sure I was okay. I nodded as enthusiastically as I could before throwing my head back in a long moan when she sucked on the same patch of skin, surely causing a hickey ¨C although I didn¡¯t know what it would look like on red skin. My hands reached for my partners, snaking around behind their heads to hold onto their upper backs. My tail squirmed out from under me, irritated once again at me being on the bottom, and it flicked towards Sophia, curling around her leg, tip rubbing against her inner thigh. She nced at it and made a groan of approval, spreading her legs open for me. My tail listened, inching closer to her sex and teasing her with light touches on the edges of her folds. Meanwhile, Amber had reached my chest and was making out with it, bringing my dark red nubs to an almost painful level of stiffness. I hissed, ¡°Pinch me Amber.¡± and she got the message, using both her hands to simultaneously pinch and tug. ¡°Fuck!¡± I screamed, bucking my hips and identally driving my knee into Sophia¡¯s leg. ¡°Ow¡­¡± Her eyes closed and she rubbed her thigh where I struck. ¡°Oh my god, I¡¯m so sorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine, just watch where you¡¯re putting your pokey bits, there¡¯s too many knees for this much bed.¡± Amber just stared in wonder at my chest, marveling in the power she had over me. Our rhythm quickly resumed, the pace picking up as Sophia grabbed my tail and brought it directly to her sex, where it began lightly bushing across her folds, melting her pained expression. I noticed one of Amber¡¯s hands had moved between her legs, her bicep rubbing against me as she pleasured herself. ¡°Amber,¡± I whined, ¡°There¡¯s two other people here, use one of us¡­¡± She looked up at me sheepishly, still licking my chest. ¡°Sit on my face?¡± I suggested. She sighed, removing her hand from between her legs and crawling around to sit on my face backwards, so she would watch Sophia ride my tail. And she was riding my tail. She¡¯d gripped it with both hands and held it between her legs, while the tip flicked up and down, causing her blissed out expression. My view was soon obscured by Amber, and I immediately began licking into her furiously, shapeshifting my tongue to make it longer. She hummed in pleasure above me and gasped when my tongue entered her, causing her to lose her bnce and fall towards Sophia. Thankfully, Sophia caught her, preventing Amber from smacking her face into my stomach, but once she was in her arms ¨C and this was something I would only find out about muchter, given my vision was still obscured ¨C they gazed into each other¡¯s eyes for a moment before going in for a light kiss. They both imed the other initiated itter on, and said it was a mistake in the heat of passion, but I would soon find myself noticing the way they stared at each other when they thought no one was looking. Anyways, after their kiss, which they didn¡¯t acknowledge, Sophia spoke to Amber, ¡°Hey, do you have a strap somewhere in here I can borrow? I forgot mine.¡± Before Amber could respond I tapped her hips, asking to be let free for a moment. When she lifted herself, I spoke. ¡°How about a magical one? I can do shapeshifting mumbo jumbo to give you a dick.¡± Amber grumbled under her breath, ¡°Stupid magical creatures calling it mumbo jumbo¡­ it''s so easy for her she thinks it''s nonsense, very cool¡­¡± Sophia nodded, and I threw some magic at her, hoping I got it right, before pulling Amber back onto me and slurping into her once more. While my tongue was seeing how deep it could get into an increasingly frantically squirming Amber, Sophia was in awe of my magic, ¡°This is so¡­ real¡­ Can I really fuck you with this?¡± I gave her a thumbs up, and Amber let out a long whine, leaning forwards to give me a better angle and resting her weight on her hands, which were on either side of my chest. Sophia spoke again, wonderment still in her tone, ¡°Do I need a condom?¡± I responded with a thumbs down, knowing that I could control my fertility with magic. I¡¯d only had one period so far, and it had been more than enough for me after the first time. Sophia was finally ready to pleasure me, scooting up to kneel between my legs, and running the tip of her magical cock up and down my utterly soaked pussy. I hadn¡¯t been touched yet, everyone else getting a chance before me, and given that I¡¯d woken up horny, I was past needy and onto deprived, ravenous for something to be inside me. Thankfully, Sophia didn¡¯t feel the need to tease me anymore, likely because my reactions were mostly hidden by Amber¡¯s first orgasm of the morning, as she panted and rocked her hips against my tongue that was now wiggling for six inches out of my mouth. Sophia entered me without ceremony, encountering no resistance. ¡°Damn, this feels so weird¡­¡± She began thrusting, the weird evidently at least being a pleasurable kind. Amber, on the other hand, hadpletely copsed toy on top of me, staring at where Sophia was slowly moving in and out of me, although I couldn¡¯t see her expression. I could finally breathe and see the ceiling again, and I basked in all of the intimacy, the feeling of the cold air on my wet face, the rhythmic rocks of my body as Sophia pushed her hips into mine, maintaining a leisurely pace. ¡°I love you Sophia, I love you Amber¡­¡± I let out, content washing over me. I wasn¡¯t surprised when neither of them reciprocated, and I evenughed at the awkward silence that followed. ¡°It¡¯s fine, I didn¡¯t expect you to say it back, we started dating like ten minutes ago. It¡¯s just, this feels so right to me, I can¡¯t help but want to express it to you, although if it¨C¡± I moaned as Sophia picked up her pace, shifting to hit me from a different angle, ¡°If it¡­ makes you ufortable, then I won¡¯t say it¡­ anymore,¡± I screamed thest word as Amber started kissing my chest again in the middle of my sentence and my orgasm suddenly built out of nowhere. I shook my head at Sophia slowing down to give me a chance to regather myself, but she didn¡¯t see. ¡°Keep going Sophia, I want you toe inside, fill me up.¡± She redoubled her efforts. ¡°Say it again.¡± ¡°Come ins¨C¡± ¡°No, the thing before that.¡± I blushed. ¡°I love you Sophia.¡± She groaned and frantically thrusted into me, rocking my body under Amber¡¯s, causing me to grip the sheets tightly. A few momentster and a second orgasm was cresting in me, fueled by Amber¡¯s efforts on my chest as well as Sophia¡¯s impending load. I wasn¡¯t sure exactly what it would be like, given that it was all being fudged by magic, but I had a feeling my subconscious mind had configured my magic in a way I would like. When Sophia finally finished, panting out breaths and pushing our hips together, I wasn¡¯t disappointed. The first thing I felt was an overwhelming heat. Sophia¡¯s member shot wave after wave of pure magic directly inside of me, the fluid feeling hot in the same way that ice did, a shock to the senses, right where I was most sensitive. The second thing I felt was an irrational urge to mess with my fertility. I wouldn¡¯t, of course, at least not without discussing it with my partners first, but the feeling of potential was there, the feeling that I could have a child with Sophia like this, and that was tempting in its novelty. Thest thing I felt, at least in that moment, was another rush of love washing over me. Amber was still gently licking around my chest, Sophia was catching her breath, still inside me, and everything was right, better than I could¡¯ve imagined just a few months ago. Naturally, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, ¡°Want to go again?¡± Part 2, Chapter 9 Part 2, Chapter 9 Lily By the time we¡¯d worn ourselves out it was after nine-thirty, and we were soaked in sweat. Amber and Sophia had taken turns fucking me silly ¨C I had no interest in using my shapeshifting on myself like that ¨C although, unfortunately they never did anything with each other, meaning I had twice as much work to do. Thank god for magic¡­ We all stumbled out into ourmon room with disheveled hair and no clothes, searching for water. Although I needed it less, there was no reason to burn through my big influx of magic, even if I was pretty sure I would be getting another one soon enough. As we stood around drinking our tall sses of water, admiring each other¡¯s sweat-soaked bodies, Amber interrupted the peace with a sudden outburst. ¡°Shit, what about Chris?!¡± I stared at her with a puzzled frown, ¡°What about him?¡± ¡°We were supposed to text him when we got up.¡± She scampered off to grab her phone. I looked to Sophia for answers, ¡°Didn¡¯t we just get up? I don¡¯t think he¡¯d be interested in what we were doing this morning¡­¡± She blinked at me a few times before returning her focus to her water, taking a long drink, and pointedly looking away from me. Weird, why would the gay guy be interested in lesbian sex¡­? Amber returned, throwing her phone down onto the couch on her way over, ¡°He¡¯s on his way, although he might be annoyed we left him out.¡± ¡°Left him out of what?¡± Amber took another long drink of water. ¡°Our conversation.¡± She raised an eyebrow at me, like I was supposed to already know this. My thoughts went to all of the words we¡¯d shared this morning. After our first round, and my confession of love, our speech had been almost exclusively dedicated to short instructions on what to put where, and lots and lots of dirty talk. I assumed she wasn¡¯t talking about that, so¡­ ¡°We can just tell him we¡¯re dating whenever, right? We don¡¯t need to call him over early in the morning for that news, I feel like he already had an idea of what was going to happen¡­¡± Sophia sighed, ¡°Lily¡­¡± Amber interrupted. ¡°Wait,¡± she held up a hand towards Sophia, ¡°How do you feel about Chris?¡± I shrunk under their stares, the confidence I¡¯d felt early this morning already long gone. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ he¡¯s nice and well¡­ like, objectively speaking, he¡¯s attractive?¡± Amber nodded, ¡°And do you want to date him?¡± I frowned, feeling ufortable. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, right? He¡¯s gay and I¡¯m a girl, who cares about how I feel about it?¡± My tone might¡¯ve been a bit bitter. ¡°Lily¡­ he¡¯s bisexual,¡± Amber shook her head, ¡°Haven¡¯t you two¡­?¡± I blushed, ¡°Well, I thought¡­ I don¡¯t know!¡± Thoughts raced through my head. Chris¡­ likes women¡­ Images from my one sexual encounter with him floated through my mind, his muscr body, and our other encounter, when we¡¯d kissed. My eyes shut, and I squirmed. There¡¯s no way I can get horny after this morning, right? It turned out that some of the rumors and myths about subi were true, because when I thought back to when he took me out to the movies, to the date he¡¯d taken me on, my heart throbbed and I felt a rush of warmth between my legs. ¡°Fuck, we left out Chris¡­¡± My partners both giggled. I groaned, ¡°Damn, it¡¯s hard to even get my mind around the fact that he¡¯s avable¡­ I¡¯d put him in the off-limits camp for so long, it¡¯s hard to even¡­¡± Amber stared at me, confused, ¡°Didn¡¯t you guys¡­¡± she repeated. I blushed, ¡°I thought he thought I was still a guy!¡± She shook her head, ¡°I think you were thest to figure that out¡­¡± ¡°Well, how was I supposed to know, if no one told me?!¡± ¡°Gender is something you have to figure out on your own¡­ and I can assure you my textbooks weren¡¯t concerned with teaching me how to navigate demonic puberty or how to understand demonic social norms as a foreigner.¡± Sophia stepped between us, holding a hand in front of each of us, ¡°Amber, I think Lily was more concerned with the fact that she had no assistance than the minute details of subus gender.¡± Amber red at her for a moment, dropping it when Sophia turned to address me, ¡°And Lily, what Amber isn¡¯t exining well is that witches are very protective of their knowledge. One of the avenues I tried to go down when having my research binge was by asking a coven if they were willing to let me read some of their books, but they were not at all receptive. It would not surprise me if Amber had been instructed not to share any information with outsiders.¡± Amber nodded, we both murmured apologies, and the tension between us faded. I walked over to the couch, letting myself fall down into the middle, and sighing. ¡°Damn, rtionships are hard¡­¡± My girlfriends sat on either side of me, cuddling me between their naked bodies. We all rxed, listening to our slow breaths sounding out in an off-bnce rhythm. After a few moments of silence, I spoke. ¡°Shoot, we need to get dressed before Chris gets here.¡± They both grumbled, and stumbled back towards Amber¡¯s room. ¡ª Chris arrived once we were all¡­ well we weren¡¯t all decent, not having the time and space to wash the smell of sex off of our bodies or fix our messy hair, but we were at least clothed. Sophia and I were on the couch, my head in herp while she brushed her fingers through my hair, and Amber had gotten up to let him in, settling into the armchair afterwards. ¡°Oh god, you guys reek¡­¡± I turned to sniff under my shirt cor, ¡°Is that a werewolf senses thing, or is it really that bad?¡± He walked over and sat on the couch, as far away from Sophia and I as possible, something that was only possible because of how little space I took up. ¡°I think if any of you went to ss without taking a shower you¡¯d get weird looks.¡± I sighed, ¡°Good thing I wasn¡¯t nning on going to ss¡­¡± Sophia shrugged. Chris continued, ¡°So I suppose this means you¡¯re all together? Or was this a one-time thing?¡± I beamed at him, but Amber beat me to the punch, saying, ¡°The two of us are dating her but not each other.¡± Despite her negative phrasing, her tone was upbeat; she was just as happy as I was to share the news. I chimed in, ¡°And they told me you¡¯re bisexual, that¡¯s so cool!¡± Heughed, ¡°I did tell you that before¡­¡± I shook my head, rubbing my hair across Sophia¡¯sp. ¡°Nope, I remember, because I¡¯ve thought about it. You told me you¡¯re into guys but you never said anything about women.¡± He put his hands up, ¡°Alright, alright my bad,¡± he raised an eyebrow, ¡°So, what¡¯re we doing with this information?¡± ¡°Do you want to join our throuple and make it a¡­¡± I turned to Amber, ¡°Shit, what¡¯s a fourpler?¡± She shook her head, ¡°It¡¯s only a throuple if we¡¯re all together, and Sophia and I are not together.¡± ¡°What my girlfriend is trying to say,¡± Sophia said, ¡°is that she wants to date you.¡± I nodded. Chris frowned, ¡°I¡­ can we talk in private?¡± Oh. I nodded, and followed him into my bedroom, trying to ignore the bitter feeling in my stomach. He started, ¡°Lily, I like you a lot. You¡¯re cute and funny and I enjoy spending time with you¡­¡± ¡°But?¡± I remained staring at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. ¡°But I don¡¯t think I can give you what you want. We could try¡­ but I¡¯ve been thinking it over, and I just don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea. I¡­ I prefer men to the extent that it feels like I¡¯d be missing out if I dated a woman. And sure, I could date a man too, but I think the very fact that you wouldn¡¯t be my priority, that I would have preferences over you, that¡¯s unfair to you, unfair to both of us, forcing a rtionship where there doesn¡¯t need to be one, where one doesn¡¯t feel right.¡± ¡°I get it¡­¡± It was a weird feeling, the feeling of loss where there never had been anything. I¡¯d gone from zero partners to two in a morning, and yet, in that moment it still felt like I¡¯d missed out. ¡°Maybe we can do some casual stuff, fool around if you want to and your girlfriends are okay with it, but I don¡¯t think amitted rtionship is right for us. I¡¯m sorry, and I hope we can still be friends.¡± I finally met his eyes, looked at his conflicted expression. ¡°No need to apologize, you feel how you feel,¡± I spread my arms out in an invitation to hug, ¡°Of course we can stay friends, and I hope you don¡¯t stop me from cuddling you just because of this.¡± I smiled tentatively at him, and it became sincere when he epted my hug. Two for three isn¡¯t bad, right? Amber After hanging out for a while with everyone, and finally showering, I was finally ready to tackle the subject of what to do about Katie. Sophia and Lily had gone to her room to study, and Chris had left for ss, leaving me alone to plot and scheme. While I wasn¡¯t currently working with her, I still was keeping Lily¡¯s words in my mind, thinking about how she could help. Issue was, I didn¡¯t know how either of us could help. My mother¡¯s movements and ns were inscrutable; she had never told me anything about her connections or what she did on a day-to-day business. Even where she found my sisters ¨C or me for that matter ¨C wasn¡¯t something we¡¯d discussed. Despite the fact that I called her Mom without qualm, she was more like a teacher or a coach to me than a parent. But that was fine, I got more than enough affection from all of my cute little sisters, and she needed to be a strong leader for our coven in the first ce. At least I think so, I don¡¯t really know what leading the coven entails¡­ But right now, thatck of transparency was a huge issue, because just seeing Katie could alert our mother that something was up, and it was rare for me to visit without reason on any day other than Saturday ¨C at least not during the semester. I¡¯d had to exin why I¡¯d been at home eventually when I¡¯d stayed over during my fight with Lily, but I¡¯d thankfully lied, at the time wanting to keep Katie out of it as much as possible, saying something about wanting to conduct my experiments at home during a slow week of sses. I mean, really, how likely is it that I can find a convenient excuse to visit on such a short notice¨C My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating, the pattern of the vibration indicating that it was my mother. I checked the message: Mom: Urgent request: return home immediately, there is an important task for you, big opportunity I blinked, staring. How lucky is that? Not only do I get an excuse to visit, but a big opportunity for the coven?! I smiled. Sometimes, things just worked out. ¡ª I rushed, sliding into my mother¡¯s office, where a servant had told me to meet her. It was a rare urrence for me to be there; I¡¯d only first seen the ce after bing a full-fledged witch and taking my first assignment outside of the coven. As my mother got older, the frequency of these assignments had increased, but it was still at most a dozen times per year, and usually they didn¡¯t have this kind of urgency. Usually, they were ¡®make this potion¡¯ or ¡®enchant this thing¡¯. Very rarely I had to actually go somewhere toplete the assignment, such as one time I¡¯d had to exorcize a haunted mansion, something that had been extremely unpleasant but paid well. Coborating on missions with other witches was generally rare, mostly because of how our spells could identally mix and result in catastrophe. Preventing this would mean revealing the details of all of your spells to another witch, allowing them to copy them and develop countermeasures for them. You¡¯d think I could trust my sisters with that, but my mother insisted that a proper witch never revealed all of their secrets to anyone, which meant going solo, unfortunately. Anyways, thest mission I¡¯d had ¨C cleansing an area of forest of evil spirits ¨C had not gone well, however, and the fallout from that incident, the blow to our reputation, had led to my mother refusing to pay for my solo dorm, saying that I must not be using it to study magic if I¡¯d messed up so bad on the mission. This meeting, then, would be a test to see if I¡¯d learned my lesson, if I¡¯d been studying since myst failure. I plopped down in the chair across from her, staring determinedly into her wrinkled face. She was old, old enough to be my grandmother, and although I could usually read her expression because of my experience, her mouth rarely moved in any direction other than pursed lips or mild frown. Right now she was anxious, which immediately put a halt to my excited mood. Something that made her anxious would likely make me terrified. She began. ¡°This job is different from the ones you¡¯ve done before, as you¡¯ve no doubt already surmised. There are two primary differences: the first is incidental and the second is vital.¡± She had a way of speaking that made it seem like she was always lecturing, in both senses of the word. I nodded along to her, as I had been for two decades. ¡°The first, is the urgency. Our client is rather impatient, and if he was not so well-connected or this job not so convenient, I would not have epted it. The second, is the objective.¡± My nods continued. ¡°This will be the first of your demon-ying missions.¡± Part 2, Chapter 10 Part 2, Chapter 10 Amber ¡°This will be the first of your demon-ying missions,¡± my mother said. I nodded out of habit, still processing what I''d just heard. Even once I¡¯d processed it, I remained in denial. Demons are those things she tells me about that are evil, right? Not like Lily or Katie¡­ But actual demons. She continued her exnation, unconcerned with my silence. ¡°The contractor is a priest and an old acquaintance of mine. His son has been possessed by a demon and we have been tasked with ying that demon, at any cost necessary.¡± Nod. Not like Lily,.. She¡¯s asking me to kill a real demon, like an evil one, not Lily. ¡°Apparently the previous organization he hired was rather unsessful, and the demon evaded. As such, I will be lending you some of my spell materials, including for invisibility and, of course, demon radar.¡± Nod nod nod. She wants me to¡­ to murder someone. But they¡¯re evil right? ¡°Otherwise, this will be a test to see if you can truly seed me, meaning I will not offer any more assistance. Good luck.¡± I nodded. I didn¡¯t process walking out of the office and through the halls to my bedroom but I ended up there all the same. I stared at the wall, resisting the urge to keep nodding. She just asked me to¡­ I dialed a number into my phone. A woman¡¯s voice answered me, ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Lily, my mother just paid me to murder you.¡± Lily There were a lot of things you could find out about the person you were dating that would give you pause. There were people who chewed with their mouths open, people who never put the toilet seat down, people that snored, and an infinite number more. Given that I¡¯d already dated Amber once, and that we¡¯d been living together already, it seemed unlikely that I¡¯d encounter one of these things, something that makes you go ¡®huh, maybe this isn¡¯t going to work out¡¯. But, really, wasn¡¯t your girlfriend being tasked with assassinating you a little bit more concerning than finding out she had an annoying habit? ¡°Lily?¡± Her voice rang in my ear, echoed a momentter by Sophia, who was watching me and no doubt saw something in the expression on my face. ¡°I¡¯m here¡­ I think. So¡­ um¡­ I would prefer if you didn¡¯t?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to fucking murder you!¡± She screamed, loud enough for me to move the phone away from my ear, and loud enough for Sophia to hear. ¡°What¡¯s this about Amber murdering you?¡± I put Amber on speaker. ¡°No one is murdering anyone! My mom got a job from Lily¡¯s d¨C¡± She cut herself off, but it was toote, I¡¯d already understood. My mouth hung open and I turned to stare into Sophia¡¯s eyes. Surely, I¡¯ll find surprise in Sophia¡¯s expression. She knows my dad, so it must be surprising that he¡¯d hire a witch to kill me, right? She was wincing. As I already had more times than I cared to count, I made my way into Sophia¡¯s arms, guiding her to sit on my bed. She took my phone with one hand and used the other tofort me, stroking my back. I stared emptily into space,pletely lost, half-listening to the rest of the conversation. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I meant to break it to her gentler, but I have no idea what the fuck I¡¯m going to do, I thought I had months to help Katie at least, if not until she turned eighteen! No one is here to hug me, where¡¯s my help?!¡± Sophia sighed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Amber, you¡¯re right¡­ This situation just sucks. I¡¯ll give you that hug as soon as I see you, soe home to us as soon as you can.¡± ¡°It''s¡­ It was a rush job, so there¡¯s not much time I can stall on it. I could pretend to fail, say I couldn¡¯t find her, but I¡­ this was inevitable, and I don¡¯t have much hope for good things happening if I purposely fail the job.¡± Sophia leaned back, taking us down toy back on my bed. I resisted the urge to bury my face in the sheets, to hide from reality. ¡°What if you just grabbed Katie and ran?¡± Amber groaned, the sound distorting and crackling over the poor quality of the call. ¡°I¡­ Our mother might send someone after us, if not chase us herself¡­ Hell, if she knew I ran from her she would certainly send someone after me, given all the knowledge she¡¯s given me.¡± Sophia chimed in, the only one out of us remaining calm, ¡°What if you pretended you did the job? What kind of proof does she expect?¡± A hissing sound came out of the phone, but I couldn¡¯t tell if it was Amber or static, ¡°There¡¯s not really any proof standards for this kind of thing. Most demons have some kind of shapeshifting, making body parts insufficient¡­¡± Her tone grew more and more confident, as she began getting absorbed in exining magical mumbo jumbo, and that was great. I was happy my girlfriend was feeling confident, but I could not listen to her exin why bringing my severed body parts back to her mother was insufficient proof. I started giggling, trying to keep it quiet enough not to interrupt her still-ongoing exnation. ¡°So, really, it¡¯s mostly on the reputation of an individual demon hunter because no one is going to waste the materials to cast radar again, and¨C¡± She cut herself off, ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± I pictured her puzzled face, trying to figure out why I found my own murder hrious and I just lost it, bursting into unrestrainedughter. Sophia gazed at me, concerned, but I waved her off, trying to reassure her that I was okay ¨C rtively speaking. ¡°It¡¯s just¨C¡± I tried to speak through lingering giggles, ¡°Can you imagine six months ago, trying to exin to me what was happening right now: that I¡¯m a subus who is dating two women, and one of my girlfriends is talking about whether or not it would be a good idea to bring my decapitated head back to her mother?!¡± I burst into another round of giggles, falling out of Sophia¡¯s embrace, andying on my bed, rolling back and forth. ¡°Is she okay? What is going on over there?¡± ¡°She¡¯s¡­ lost it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I insisted, mostly sobering up, ¡°So is that the n, pretend you killed me and move up the schedule for helping Katie?¡± ¡°I¡­ I guess?¡± Amber¡¯s voice was conflicted, ¡°It¡¯s not a permanent solution¡­ We¡¯ll see. I need to talk to Katie, she should be home from school now.¡± ¡°Alright, love you, bye!¡± I shouted towards my phone, which was still in Sophia¡¯s hand. Sophia turned off speaker mode and whispered into the receiver, possibly unaware I could still hear her, ¡°Don¡¯t do anything reckless, okay?¡± She nodded at what Amber said and hung up the call. We both sighed andid in my bed, hugging each other loosely. What a mess¡­ Amber Once I¡¯d exined to Katie what was going on, she stared at the floor from her desk chair, silently mulling over what I¡¯d said. ¡°She really straight up asked you to murder her?¡± I frowned, ¡°No, she didn¡¯t ask me, shemanded me.¡± Katie snorted. ¡°Why would her dad hire us? How would her dad hire us?¡± ¡°She said something about him being connected, so¡­¡± I shrugged, ¡°There was also someone he hired first, but Chris and I ended up disrupting them I guess, by showing up at Lily¡¯s house looking for her.¡± I shivered, thinking about what would¡¯ve happened had we not been there. ¡°Damn, I don¡¯t know anything about the demon hunting economy, who even pays for it?¡± I scratched my head, resisting the urge to pace around. ¡°Demon haters? Territorial witches with a grudge? Religious weirdos?¡± Our eyes went wide at the same moment. ¡°Shit!¡± She cursed. ¡°That church¡­¡± ¡°I wonder if that¡¯s where the people you intercepted were from¡­?¡± My face scrunched up. I was reluctant to ept that Lily had been in danger any time she¡¯d visited her church, just one ident away from being discovered. ¡°She¡­¡± I sighed and sat on Katie¡¯s bed. Katie got up and walked over, sitting next to me and curling an arm around my back. ¡°C¡¯mon tell big sis Katie how you feel¡­¡± I sighed again, ignoring her teasing. ¡°I¡­ We¡¯re dating, and¨C¡± ¡°You what?!¡± She leaned away, staring at me, face full of incredulity. ¡°Um¡­ after I apologized to her, she ended up asking out me and her friend, Sophia, and we both epted.¡± ¡°Damn, I thought she was going to kill you after you apologized, not¡­¡± Her eyes met mine, ¡°Sorry,¡± She shrugged. I huffed augh, ¡°It¡¯s fine, I thought the same. Her other girlfriend isn¡¯t as fond of me though, I think she¡¯s mad on Lily¡¯s behalf.¡± ¡°Yea, I can imagine¡­¡± Katie¡¯s head tilted, ¡°Is she hot?¡± ¡°What, no!¡± I shook my head, ¡°We¡¯re supposed to be talking about you anyways, how to protect you from Mom.¡± She shook her head. ¡°Nope, you were about to tell me about your feelings.¡± I groaned, ¡°Fine¡­ I¡¯m worried about her because I like her a lot, and I don¡¯t want the threat of demon hunters hanging over her,¡± I scowled, ¡°Now it¡¯s time to discuss how to protect you.¡± She sent me a sly smile, swaying back and forth next to me, bumping her shoulder into mine. ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯d bepletely safe from her anywhere, unless I went to Hell,¡± sheughed, ¡°Like, the best thing for now probably is just keeping quiet about it, I doubt she would immediately try to have me killed, anyways¡­¡± I stared at my little sister skeptically. And then what she¡¯d said hit me, ¡°Oh my god, you¡¯re right!¡± ¡°About what, that Mom wouldn¡¯t kill me?¡± ¡°No!¡± my eyes lit up with excitement, ¡°You need to go to Hell!¡± Lily Sophia and I were sprawled out on my bed, her hand absentmindedly brushing through my hair. It asionally got caught in the tangles of my waves, but despite the fact that I could shapeshift my hair to be straighter, I never did, wanting my body to remain mostly static. We remained silent, my mind still stuck on the revtion that my father would hire a demon hunter to go after me. And the fact that Amber was a demon hunter in-training. It seemed obvious in retrospect, she¡¯d already told us her mother was training her and that her mother used to hunt demons but¡­ I supposed I didn¡¯t really know anything about what demon hunters were like in real life, so any preconceptions I had were bogus. In fiction, demon hunters would use either swords or guns, but using swords against regenerating magical creatures was a terrible idea, and since aw had been passed thirty years ago to make it illegal to own a gun, I doubted the witches had a big supply of them, if they had any at all. Another of my worries was my schoolwork. Despite the studying I¡¯d done with Sophia, I was still behind, and I¡¯d been struggling in my studies to begin with. I¡¯d chosen theology as my new major because I hadn¡¯t had anything better to choose by the end of the previous semester, and although I enjoyed it more than business, I still felt lost when it came to where to take my life. I had no idea what a subus with a theology degree was supposed to do to make a living, and I felt myself missing Mom more than I ever had. I wonder if Mom was from Hell? I considered visiting her grave, but as much as I wanted to, the dangers easily outweighed the benefits. And that sucked, not being allowed to even see my mom¡¯s grave, just because some asshole decided to put a hit out of me. And for what? Like sure, I¡¯d boinked a few of my friends, and maybe that would be considered sinful by some people, but it was our business. Why did my dad care so much about what I did with my life? I sighed. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, sweetie?¡± I resisted the urge to make a satisfied noise at Sophia¡¯s use of a pet name, and instead leaned into her hand¡¯s movements as her fingers ghosted over my scalp. ¡°What do you know about Hell?¡± Maybe we can take a quick vacation to Hell during the three day weekend¡­ Going to Hell, going to the beaches, same thing right? I snorted. As if¡­ "The books I read were by stealthy demons living among humans, and I was only able to figure them out because they wrote some sections in humannguages, not that it was easy. The rare ones that did mention Hell went on unhinged rants about ¡®too much regtion¡¯ or something ¨C I didn¡¯t have the context to understand it.¡± ¡°The only practical info I got was that demons all knew how to get to Hell,¡± she shrugged, ¡°Maybe every demon got taught by their parents how to go to Hell, or maybe it¡¯s some kind of instinctual thing you have to tap into, I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Hmmm¡­ But it¡¯s not like biblical Hell, with fire and brimstone and evil people?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so, I think it¡¯s more like¡­ an alternate dimension or something?¡± ¡°Huh.¡± My phone started buzzing and I picked it up. ¡°Hey, Amber, what¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Lily, you¡¯re going to Hell!¡± Part 2, Chapter 11 Part 2, Chapter 11 Lily During Amber¡¯s strange call, she¡¯d told me she woulde over with Katie in tow and we could discuss going to Hell. While waiting for Amber and Katie to arrive, I was mulling over the idea of going to Hell. The idea of escaping, of getting away from the people that wanted to hurt Katie and I was obvious, but as far as Hell was concerned, I had some reservations. Despite those reservations, based on Amber¡¯s phrasing, and my own understanding of the situation, there was one thing I needed to take care of if I was going to be in Hell and leave her behind. And if we never made it to Hell, a likely oue in my mind, my preparations could still be useful. Sophia left to go make herself a sandwich, and I got to work at my desk. I finished just before Amber unlocked our front door and entered. I left my room with an envelope, hiding it behind my back and waving with my free hand. Katie sat on the armchair and dropped a backpack on the floor, while my two girlfriends and I used the couch. The two of them weren¡¯t quite cuddling into my body from either side, but they were still loosely connected to me by lingering hands resting on me. I ced the envelope in front of me on the floor, out of the way until the unlikely event that it would be needed. Sophia started the conversation, ¡°Hello, Katie. I¡¯m Sophia, your sister¡¯s girlfriend¡¯s girlfriend,¡± she smiled, suppressing a giggle at her own strange introduction. Katie adopted a bemused expression and some of the tension escaped her, ¡°Nice to meet you¡­ Sorry we won¡¯t get much time to talk, apparently my sister is sending me off to eternal damnation?¡± Amber rolled her eyes, ¡°Hell isn¡¯t like that¡­ Maybe¡­¡± she shook her head, ¡°It¡¯s almost certainly not like that for demons, I think.¡± I interjected, ¡°So why are we going to Hell? How are we going to Hell?¡± ¡°I think it would be the safest ce for you to hide while I find a permanent resolution to my mother¡¯s meddling. It would also help buy me some time to y the good daughter, since with you in Hell, it would be really easy to pretend you were dead.¡± She sighed, eyes ncing between Katie and I, ¡°As for how¡­ That¡¯s up to you demons to figure out¡­¡± ¡°So you¡¯re just sending me and Katie off to hide while you take care of everything yourself?¡± I frowned, not bothering to hide my distaste for the idea. ¡°It¡¯s not like that, this is just the best way to stall while we think of a more permanent solution, without worrying about an assassining for either of you,¡± Amber pleaded. Sophia stepped in, cing a reassuring hand on my arm, ¡°And she won¡¯t be alone, we can work together on this,¡± her eyes met Amber¡¯s, her face wearing an exaggerated smile, ¡°Right, bestie?¡± The look shared between them wasn¡¯t friendly, nor was it loving, both things that I hoped to see. Instead, it was a shared determination that brought about the temporary truce. Despite the apparent truce, the prospect of leaving the two alone, potentially without anymunication between us, left phantom itches across my skin and a stone in my stomach. I shook my head, regathering my scattered thoughts. ¡°And how will Katie disappearing help your ruse, wouldn¡¯t that make your mom more suspicious, or at least hurt any chance of Katie staying stealth?¡± Amber raised a finger, ¡°That would be the case, if she was just disappearing, but as her teacher I have the power to take her out of school and send her on magical errands, so it¡¯s trivial to provide cover for her.¡± A silence settled over us as I turned over my thoughts in my head. The three of them stared at me, waiting for my input. ¡°When did it be my decision?¡± I whined. Amber shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m proposing sending my baby sister to a foreign country, I¡¯m not happy doing that without you there to look after her¡­¡± She looked down sadly. Ugh, she doesn¡¯t like this any more than I do, does she¡­ ¡°So¡­ If we go, how are we supposed to get there?¡± Sophia rxed behind me, caressing her hand up and down my back. Amber, the center of all of our attention, sighed and whispered a thanks to me. ¡°Um¡­ So I was hoping you two would be able to figure out how to open a portal or whatever,¡± she gestured between Katie and I, ¡°I figured Lily should have plenty of energy¡­¡± her voice trailed off, growing quieter as her face grew redder. I stared, confused yet again by a more timid side of Amber. Katie, on the other hand, was happy to act her part as a sixteen-year-old. ¡°Eww, gross! I do not need to be hearing about your ¡®energy gathering activities¡¯,¡± her face scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out. I honed in on what Amber had said, strangely not feeling shame about what I¡¯d done in the morning. ¡°A portal¡­ I guess that makes sense as a way to Hell. It would have to be some kind of transportation, whether it was a portal or a teleportation.¡± I started feeling out my magic, trying to find something portal-y. Katie groaned. ¡°I don¡¯t have enough energy for anything; it¡¯s hard enough getting enough from our sisters just to not feel exhausted ¨C I can¡¯t afford magic at all, let alone any portal-ing.¡± I stifled a groan of my own, the knowledge that the n rested on my shoulders settling into my mind. I quickly shifted gears, ¡°If you need more energy, I¡¯m happy to help. I always wanted a little sister.¡± It wasn¡¯t necessarily true ¨C I¡¯d always wanted an older sister, or any mother figure at all ¨C but it was close enough to the truth. Katie looked away from the couch, blushing. ¡°It¡¯s fine ¨C spending time with Amber helps a lot¡­¡± Iughed and leaned into Amber, happiness flowing into me. I¡¯d already felt secure in my decision to forgive Amber ¨C as much of a decision as I¡¯d had in the first ce, given how fond my heart was of her ¨C but somehow the bond she had with her little sister reinforced that decision in my mind. My feelings were justified; Amber was as kind-hearted as I thought she was. While I was basking in sappy feelings, the conversation continued around me. Katie spoke first, bulldozing through her embarrassment. ¡°So, while Lily is figuring out how to send us to Hell¡­¡± her eyes focused on Sophia, ¡°How¡¯d you end up in this mess, and what vor of creature are you?¡± Sophia hugged into my back, pressing me further into Amber, easily picking up on my cuddly mood. Her torso vibrated with amusement when she heard Katie¡¯s question. ¡°Lily and I went to the same church for a long time, and we recently grew closer¡­ As far as the supernatural nonsense¨C¡± Amber huffed under her breath, ¡°It¡¯s not nonsense¡­¡± Sophia continued, ¡°¨CI¡¯m just a human in over her head. I read a few ounts of demons living on earth, but it was just a weird research binge for me, I never thought it would be useful.¡± Katie hummed thoughtfully, ¡°And you don¡¯t have any insight into Hell?¡± ¡°Nope. I knew just enough to not freak out when Lily transformed in front of me the first time, but unless you want to know the details of the life of Zerithar the demon during the mid 1800¡¯s, I¡¯m not going to be of much use.¡± ¡°Uh, no thanks¡­¡± Katie eyed Sophia skeptically, expression asking why she¡¯d been interested in the subject enough to read it in the first ce. When no answer came, she changed topics. ¡°Ugh, I can¡¯t wait until I¡¯m older and I can form my own harem, you gals are so lucky.¡± She flipped her wrist out, gesturing her palm up, and continued before anyone could respond. ¡°Yea, yea, yea, I already know it¡¯s not a harem it¡¯s a polycule ¨C I¡¯m way more up to date on queer lingo than you all were back when you were my age¡­ But it¡¯s just like ¨C teenage girls are so dumb, everyone says they¡¯re bisexual but then you ask if they want to bang a subus and suddenly you¡¯re a weirdo. I just want to be in college where everyone is at least a little gay¡­¡± She huffed a sigh and ended her rant. A moment of silence stretched out where none of us knew how to respond. Personally, I was baffled by an overwhelming barrage of cultures I¡¯d never been privy to ¨C primarily the struggles of a queer high school girl ¨C which werepletely at odds with my experiences. I was also still half-thinking about going to Hell, probing around with my magical intuitions. Amber finally responded, sounding very mom-like, ¡°You¡¯d better not be running around telling your ssmates you¡¯re a subus¡­¡± she pinched the bridge of her nose, ¡°and not every college woman is gay, everyone kissing a woman in college is just a stupid myth.¡± ¡°That¡¯s so not true,¡± Katie protested, ¡°Which one of you had kissed a girl before you were in college?¡± None of us raised our hands. Does it even count for me? ¡°See? I¡¯d totally try to pick up college girls but the only ones who would respond would be creeps¡­ fucking sucks¡­¡± Amber stiffened in my arms, ¡°Please don¡¯t proposition adults¡­¡± her tone was tired, and I had to stifle a giggle at how deep into the role of mothering Katie she was. ¡°Ugh, I literally just said I knew better.¡± I couldn¡¯t see her face, given I¡¯d just buried mine into Amber¡¯s arm, but I could hear Katie¡¯s eye roll. I shot up, no longer wedged between my girlfriends, when my magic found a portal-shaped thing I could do. ¡°I found it!?¡± my tone grew from excited to questioning, uncertainty seeping into me. I knew I could make a portal, I just wasn¡¯t sure if it would go to the right ce. Everyone stared, realizing at different rates what I meant. Katie stood, ncing at Amber and quickly shifting gears. ¡°So¡­ how and when are we supposed toe back?¡± Amber answered, ¡°The portal should work both ways, although you might pop back out somewhere else on earth¡­¡± she shrugged, ¡°As long as you don¡¯t travel too far in Hell, you should be fine. Although maybe try picturing our dorm when you make the portal toe back.¡± I nodded absentmindedly, still reeling from the fact that I was going to Hell. Sophia nodded as well, chiming in, ¡°Ohh, like Minecraft rules, that makes sense!¡± The three of us stared at her, varied expressions of confusion on our faces. Minecraft is a video game¡­ right? What does that have to do with portals to Hell? She coughed, cheeks reddening, ¡°Never mind¡­ Uh, so next Tuesday is a good return date?¡± A round of nods and shrugs followed; it seemed a good time as any, minimizing the time Katie and I would miss ss, given Monday was a holiday. Katie spoke, sounding way too enthused about our trip, ¡°Sounds good! Are you ready, Lily?¡¯ My brain scrambled around, already havinge to terms with the how I was going to get there as well as the why, but not how I felt about it, or whether it was practical for me. I was already behind in my studies after missing a week of ss, and although it was still the beginning of the semester, I was not the kind of student that could miss any ss, regardless of how difficult the lecture was. Spending time in Hell would certainly exacerbate that issue, and unless I was nning on transferring to Hell University and studying demonology ¨C or whatever the hell demons studied ¨C my life would be aimless if I was forced to drop out. Not to mention the fact that I was already struggling on the mary front. While I was sure my girlfriends ¨C and Chris too ¨C would help me out before I starved or went homeless, I didn¡¯t want to have ite to that because I was being a dumbass and paid for sses that I didn¡¯t even try to pass. On the other hand, it wasn¡¯t like I had any idea what I would do with my degree when I got it, and maybe going to Hell would provide me with more information on how demons lived and made a living. I was also worried about Amber and Sophia, and leaving them behind, even if it made strategic sense to me, still left me feeling deeply ufortable. Still, the fact that I needed to protect Katie and the fact that me being away would help keep Amber and Sophia safe too by cating Amber¡¯s mother easily made up for my difort and spurred me on. I stood and turned around, facing Amber. ¡°Promise me you won¡¯t do anything dangerous or impulsive,¡± I gave her my best doe eyes. ¡°I promise.¡± I turned to my other girlfriend, ¡°Promise me you¡¯ll talk some sense into her if she gets a terrible idea in her head?¡± She smiled and nodded. I pulled them both off the couch and into one big hug, kissing them each on the lips softly. ¡°I love you both, please stay safe.¡± This is going to be awkward if the portal doesn¡¯t work¡­ ¡°You two stay safe as well. You can try to find shelter in demon society¡­ but Katie and I brought a hiking pack, just in case you can¡¯t find it, or it doesn¡¯t work out,¡± Amber said. Katie picked up her backpack and showed it off for a moment before slinging it across her back. It was ck, thin, and had those crisscrossing stic straps going down the font that I had no idea what they were for. I turned my focus inwards before I could get distracted or my embarrassment at my heartfelt farewell could materialize ¨C although there was a chance that it never would, given howfortable I¡¯d been feeling expressing my love for my girlfriends. Magic swirled in me feeling like a warm nket or a cup of tea that was always the perfect temperature. One moment I was basking in the feeling of warmth, slowly piecing together in my mind what the portal was supposed to look like, and the next my eyes were open, the orange oval in front of me about six feet tall and three feet wide. The edges were solid orange, while the middle had an opaque rippling effect, waves of darker shades forming and dissipating constantly. I blinked, hardly believing it had worked. There¡¯s a portal to Hell in my living room. My life¡­ I bent over, picking up the envelope I¡¯d prepared earlier, and handing it to Amber without a word, trusting her to figure it out. I grabbed Katie¡¯s hand and pulled her closer to the swirling mass, not wanting to waste energy keeping it open any longer. With onest wave at my partners, Katie and I stepped through the portal and were sent to Hell. Part 3, Chapter 1 Part 3, Chapter 1 Amber Suddenly, the portal vanished, and I was left in a stark silence with Sophia. The portal hadn¡¯t made any noise necessarily, but the absence of its presence made the room less loud nheless. Sophia spoke first, her eyes not leaving the ce where Lily and my sister had vanished, ¡°So, what now?¡± ¡°Well, I need to go report to my mother that the mission was sessful. From there¡­ We can just brainstorm what to do without needing to worry about anythinging up,¡± I shrugged, ¡°Honestly, we have the more chill side of the n ¨C we don¡¯t have to run around an alternate dimension or whatever.¡± She still hadn¡¯t blinked. ¡°And how am I supposed to help you if something goes wrong while you¡¯re talking to your mother?¡± ¡°Nothing will go wrong,¡± I shook my head, ¡°besides, no offense, but you¡¯re not a witch. I don¡¯t think you¡¯d be helpful if it came tobat¡± Sophia closed her eyes and opened them after a moment, ¡°Hmm,¡± She pulled her phone out, fiddling with it before handing it to me, a new contact open for me to fill my number into. ¡°In case something goes wrong,¡± she rified. I filled in my phone number, knowing that it would be convenient for nning and logistics. However, even in the event of an emergency, I wouldn¡¯t call her ¨C I didn¡¯t want to put her in danger. She took her phone back, ¡°So what''s the deal with the envelope?¡± I looked at the paper in question, a sealed white rectangr envelope with messy writing on the front. I read it aloud, ¡°To Amber and Sophia: open this if you feel like you need my guidance on an important matter. Love, Lily.¡± I shrugged, ¡°Dunno.¡± Sophia¡¯s eyes narrowed, ¡°Subi can¡¯t predict the future, right?¡± I shook my head and turned the letter over in my hand, inspecting it from every angle. ¡°I don¡¯t think so¡­¡± ¡°Weird. I guess we can worry about thatter, I doubt she meant for us to open it now, given she could have just told us whatever it was.¡± ¡°Yea, I suppose so.¡± ¡°Well, good luck with your meeting, and don¡¯t do anything dangerous.¡± Sophia hugged me, fulfilling her earlier promise from when we were on the phone. It was a loose hug, more the kind between distant family members than between friends. All I have to do is convince my mother I killed Lily, and everything will be okay. ¡ª When I arrived at the coven, a servant was already waiting to tell me my mother was ready to see me, despite the fact that I hadn¡¯t called ahead. No big deal, I¡¯m sure she was just excited to hear about the news of my sess, right? My socks swished against the wood floors of the halls and I found myself wishing I was wearing shoes. There was something about the click ck of formal footwear that made me feel powerful, made me feel like an adult. It was hard to feel like an adult in front of my mother. The door to her office didn¡¯t squeak ¨C her cleaners made sure of that ¨C and despite how heavy it was, it swung open with little effort. Shutting it was a bit harder, requiring me to remind myself I would be okay trapped inside. Again she sat at her desk, looking both like she was busy with something else and waiting for me at the same time. She finally looked up from her stack of papers when I sat down across from her, but she remained silent, prompting me to begin with a subtle gesture of her face. ¡°My mission isplete,¡± I stated. ¡°Amber, do you think I¡¯m old enough to have dementia?¡± Her voice was measured, calm, and gave nothing away about where she was going with this. ¡°No¡­¡± I lied. ¡°Then why are you telling me such a tant lie?¡± She raised one eyebrow, the rest of the muscles on her face hardly moving, but still somehow suggesting a deepening frown. I remained calm, honing my focus on lying. ¡°My report of sess is not false, mother. The demon is dealt with.¡± ¡°Do you think I¡¯m that dim?¡± she shook her head, ¡°No, of course you do, why else would you persist on this lie?¡± Before I could respond, she continued, straightening in her chair. Despite the fact that I was the taller one, she towered over me due to the difference in our seats. ¡°The daughter I know is weak and sentimental. Should I ask her to take a life, a younger version of her would protest, and an older version of her would do it with tears in her eyes. Am I to believe your character has suddenlypletely changed? Maybe you are the demon, trying to infiltrate my coven.¡± Thest sentence was said with the same flippant spection as the rest, no sign she really believed it, but it put a bead of sweat forming on my forehead nheless. ¡°Demons aren¡¯t life in the same way nts and animals are,¡± I waved my hand to the side flipping my palm up, ¡°they¡¯re more like the life of viruses and parasites. I don¡¯t cry for a removed tapeworm, nor do I cry for a in subus.¡± If I had the space and time for self-reflection, I would certainly feel sick at what I was saying. Thankfully, I did not; my head waspletely full of panic and lies,pleting one conversational puzzle after the next. My mother sat back, crossing her arms. ¡°Maybe that would be believable, maybe I could believe you were the perfect daughter¡­ if you had asked for the materials to cast demon radar I left out.¡± Shit, I didn¡¯t bother to check the spells she gave me. I cut off the resounding silence of her winning the argument while it was still forming, ¡°I didn¡¯t need radar because I already knew where the demon was ¨C you remember my roommate, right?¡± She stared forward, not acknowledging my question, ¡°Is that so.¡± she stated, ¡°Tell me about the kill, let¡¯s do some analysis on your methods.¡± I shrugged. This part I¡¯d prepared for; I was almost in the clear. ¡°It was pretty easy, since she trusted me. My project of enchanting that huge crystal finally paid off ¨C I just whipped up a quick trap with it, and the rest was trivial.¡± Her eyebrows both raised and she let out a slight grin, her biggest change in expression so far, ¡°You managed to enchant that thing?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± I smirked, letting myself feel like a good daughter for a moment, trying to ignore the context surrounding the praise. ¡°Well, color me impressed. You¡¯ve done well, my apprentice. You can look forward to being officially named my sessor and leading the coven after my passing¡­¡± Her eyes zed over for a moment before refocusing, ¡°You¡¯re dismissed.¡± When I stood and bowed, I didn¡¯t let myself rx. Nor did I when I walked out into the hall, well out of earshot of the door. Even on the train back to my dorm, I sat, muscles tense and eyes wide, reeling from the experience. Finally, when I got home and saw Sophia¡¯s relieved face, I let out a sigh. I miss Lily¡­ Lily Hell was¡­ not what I expected. At this point, only the strangest of people could believe my well-ingrained expectations of fire and brimstone would be proven correct. Even a fervent follower of the bible would struggle to believe I, a twenty-year-old girl, would have the means to hop over to Biblical Hell. Still, it was somehow surprising, in spite of expecting my preconceptions to be subverted. Katie and I stood in silence as we spun around, taking in the sunny vista. A shorthand exnation for what I saw was ¡®Mars with two moons and a bunch of nts¡¯, but even that was vastly underselling it. In one direction there were massive trees with somewhat thin yellowish trunks, the spires stretching well past what I thought would be possible. A bird flew in that direction, one the size of the biggest eagles on earth, and yetcking the same predatory fierceness. In another was a vast rocky desert, the surface the same reddish orange I associated with Earth¡¯s closest neighbor. Katie and I stood on one of those craggy boulders at the edge of the forest, giving us our vantage point and letting my nose take in the dry desert air. It was unlike the polluted air around my hometown, but it was a bit sulfury, something that would take time to get used to. Thest direction was somehow the most striking, causing me to go from mouth hung open to mouth wide open. There were buildings, most a couple of stories tall, the yellowish wood of the surrounding trees evidenced in the city¡¯s amalgamation of mustard. I finally spoke, both Katie and I staring at the city. ¡°Something something Kansas¡­¡± Katie stifled augh next to me. ¡°This is insane. There¡¯s two moons,¡± she pointed incredulously at the pale orbs in the sky. I shrugged, ¡°At least two moons, but that¡¯s not that weird, plenty ofs in our sr system have more than one moon.¡± She turned to face me fully with her eyes wide, ¡°Yea, they have more moons, on others!¡± I spun around once more, surprise registering anew. Oh, shit. ¡°We¡¯re aliens!¡± ¡ª We quickly set off towards the city, not wanting to find out the hard way how short the days were or how cold the nights were. Our conversation continued, staying on frivolous topics for now. Katie scoffed, ¡°We¡¯re not aliens!¡± ¡°Demons are from another, you said it yourself. Different, therefore alien.¡± She rolled her eyes, batting a branch out of her way. Thankfully the trees and bushes were sparse between where we¡¯d arrived and the city, and while there was no path, we had plenty of room to maneuver without cutting foliage away. ¡°Sure, maybe technically it applies, but I¡¯m talking about genre conventions. You can¡¯t just throw aliens in with vampires, witches and werewolves and call it a day ¨C there are rules.¡± ¡°This is real life! We don¡¯t get to make the rules.¡± She continued, undeterred, ¡°Besides, we can just frame it as beings from another dimension ¨C we don¡¯t know where the hell we are,¡± she waved an arm across the sky, moving past the two pale orbs and the one bright one, ¡°And ¡®beings from another dimension¡¯ is more fey than alien.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense ¨C are fey even real?¡± ¡°No, of course not,¡± she sent me a puzzled frown, confused why I would care. I rubbed at my temples, trying to stifle the iing headache. I wish Amber was here¡­ Hell, Sophia would probably be thrilled to have a nonsensical conversation about the intricacies of supernatural taxonomy with Katie. It¡¯s just me that¡¯s useless¡­ ¡°Fine, we¡¯re fey.¡± ¡°No, we¡¯re demons, duh.¡± Godammit. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s Amber and them that are aliens to us¡­¡± I said jokingly. ¡°Damn, that¡¯s a good point¡­¡± Her hand came up to her chin, stroking it in thought. I stared at her suspiciously. Katie returned my look with a shit-eating grin. I had to stifle a smile; despite how much she annoyed me, she was cute and it was nice to have a little sister, another part of my weird found family. Katie batted another branch away from her face, the leaf at the end bigger than her head. ¡°Ugh, are we there yet?¡± I craned my neck, trying to see past the trees, but there was nothing. ¡°We¡¯re 10% of the way there at most.¡± She sighed dramatically, continuing to march. ¡°What are we even doing here?¡± ¡°What do you mean, didn¡¯t we go over that over and over back on Earth?¡± It was strange, saying that so casually. ¡°Yea, I get that my sister wants to hide us away while she does everything, and that¡¯s cool, whatever. But what are we going to do here? Like are we just looking for food and shelter? Are we trying to make demon friends? Request visas? Investigate magic?¡± My mind spun; despite all of the thinking I¡¯d done beforeing, I¡¯d still somehow missed how we¡¯d spend our time here. ¡°What do you want to do?¡± She rolled her eyes, ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I guess it would be cool to talk to some demons, but we don¡¯t know anyone¡­ Maybe if we can get ess to a library, I can do some useful research.¡± I nodded, ¡°Okay, library, that seems like a good goal.¡± ¡°And you?¡± I grimaced, ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I would want to look for people who knew my Mom, but I don¡¯t really have anything to go on besides her first name and that I kind of look like her¡­¡± ¡°Maybe we can look her up in some kind of public records?¡± ¡°Yea¡­¡± Demonic public records¡­ What is my life? ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯re almost there!¡± Iughed, temporarily reinvigorated. Only another couple of hours of walking to go¡­ ¡ª By the time we arrived at the edge of civilization, the sun was no longer visible, hidden behind the terrain but still lighting our way with thest dregs of day. We were exhausted, not used to hiking for longer than it took to get from the train station to our destination, and not used to the rough terrain and foliage at all. We¡¯d both transformed at some point because it was more energy efficient to be in our true forms, both opting to use our normal human clothes for now, turning away from each other to get dressed. If I hadn¡¯t just opened a portal to another world with my magic ¨C or another dimension if Katie was to be believed ¨C I¡¯d have manifested clothes, but the portal had taken a lot out of me, and I wouldn¡¯t have my partners to refuel any time soon. As we got closer, the foliage became sparser and sparser, opening up into ins, most of the rolling hills, white grass, and red soil obscured by the buildings. The buildings themselves were weirdly normal, as if I was just in a foreign country, rather than another. There were recognizable houses and apartments on either side of a brick path, with short nters and trimmed trees lining the path. The architecture was imposing and bold, using the dark yellow wood to contrast against thendscape and harshly sloped roofs that jutted out far from the buildings¡¯ walls. On the outer edge of the city there were still the asional wild nts and empty lots with no buildings, but as the path grew more solid, and the buildings more dense, the nt life was relegated to carefully curated nters, although still rather abundantpared to where I was from. Katie and I strolled side-by-side in silence, heads rarely facing where we were going. The first person we saw was a huge man with deep red skin, almost maroon, and long, sharp horns curling out of his head. He waved at us, but didn¡¯t pay us much attention otherwise, strolling along. He wasn¡¯t wearing a shirt, clothed only in sandals and scruffy pants, but it worked with his body, creating an aesthetic of a handsome physicalborer rather than someone unkempt. I might¡¯ve stared at his abs for a few moments longer than was polite. People became moremon the further into the city we got, but nearly every one of them was as friendly as the first, waving and smiling at us. Just when we started to see the first businesses and could start to catch the scent of grilling vegetables on the wind, someone finally approached us. She was a woman ¨C probably? I still didn¡¯t understand demonic gender too well. She was feminine, skin a deep blue with light pink eyes and hair that contrasted heavily. Despite not having significant wrinkles on her face, like I would expect on a human, she gave off the impression of being older ¨C the demonic equivalent of middle-aged. ¡°Hey, you two, are you tourists?¡± I nced at Katie, but she just shrugged. ¡°Of a sort¡­ Why?¡± Her head tilted slightly, ¡°I was wondering if you needed directions, and I¡¯d be happy to show you around a bit, in exchange for stories about where you¡¯re from, It¡¯s been a while since I was outside of Seriza.¡± Katie and I stared, overwhelmed with the new information. ¡°Oh, how rude, I never introduced myself, I¡¯m Kelith!¡± She shot out her hand. I remained still, thinking over the realization that Demonic ¨C thenguage we¡¯d been speaking ¨C had many first-person pronouns that were gendered in subtly different ways I hardly understood, while it had only vaguely gendered third-person pronouns. And then there was the revtion that her nails were sky blue, but didn¡¯t appear to be painted. It was a lot. Katie took over, shaking her hand. ¡°I¡¯m Katie, and this is my older sister, Lily.¡± I stifled the warm feeling bubbling up from her saying that so easily, wanting to deal with the strange ce we were in before worrying about our dynamic. If Kelith was surprised at how different we looked, despite being sisters, she didn¡¯t show it. ¡°Nice to meet you! So, how does that tour sound?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure about a tour but we would love directions to the library.¡± Despite how friendly she seemed, I was wary of sharing too much with a stranger, and if we let her show us around, it was only a matter of time until she realized how out-of-ce we were. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± her upbeat voice turned disappointed for a moment before bouncing back, ¡°The nearest library is down this street, about five hundred meters. You can¡¯t miss it, it¡¯s the biggest building around.¡± She walked away with a wave, heading back towards the outskirts of the city, ¡°Well, you enjoy yourselves, and if you see me again, feel free toe over and chat!¡± Katie and I continued on our journey, happy to have made progress towards our goals. Wait, they have meters in Hell? A meter is about the same as a yard, so five hundred is like five football fields, right? ¡°Do you think I was being too cautious there?¡± Katie hummed, thinking. ¡°It¡¯s hard to say ¨C we don¡¯t know anything about demon culture,¡± she paused for a moment, ¡°I think you made a reasonable choice, even if it was on the cautious end of the spectrum.¡± I somehow forgot during all this time spent with her that Katie is Amber¡¯s apprentice. Her talking like that sure reminded me, although her asking to go to the library should¡¯ve clued me in too. We walked in silence for a few minutes, passing by more people that waved at us, and when the sun started to get close to disappearing, the question came up of whether to sleep before going to the library. ¡°How badly do you need sleep? Do you have the energy to go without?¡± Katie sighed, ¡°You probably have more than me¡­ I can go without, but I¡¯d prefer not to,¡± she looked down, shy. ¡°Honestly, it would help if you tried to give me more energy.¡± I examined her expression, making sure she wasn¡¯t going anywhere with her request. She rolled her eyes at my look, ¡°No, I¡¯m not trying to hit on you¡­¡± ¡°Sorry, I was just¡­¡± Embarrassment bubbled up in me. She just called me her older sister and I¡¯m doubting her for no reason. Katie groaned, ¡°It¡¯s so frustrating.¡± ¡°What is?¡± ¡°It¡¯s like ¨C you¡¯re insanely hot, right? Like Amber has two incredibly attractive girlfriends¡­¡± ¡°I guess? And Sophia isn¡¯t her girlfriend.¡± She ignored me, ¡°But to me, you¡¯re both off limits ¨C because of our age difference and because you¡¯re kinda like my sister-inw, even if you aren¡¯t married or whatever.¡± ¡°Yea¡­¡± I still didn¡¯t see where she was going with this. ¡°It¡¯s just frustrating that she has so much, but doesn¡¯t even need it like I do¡­¡± Despite her saying she was frustrated, her tone was dejected. Oh. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, the three of us can shower you with sisterly affection so you don¡¯t go hungry anymore,¡± my smile started to drop as I realized that might not be the best thing to say. ¡°Ugh,¡± Katie shook her head, ¡°That just makes me feel like you¡¯re treating me like a little kid. Like,¡± she huffed augh, ¡°The woman I have a bit of a crush on just babies me because she thinks I¡¯m too young to know what sex is.¡± ¡°Katie¡­¡± ¡°No, I know it¡¯s not logical to feel that way, it¡¯s just¡­¡± she groaned again, ¡°Forget it.¡± I sighed, ¡°Let me know if there¡¯s something I can do to help. I won¡¯t ever return your feelings, but I still want you to be happy, and I don¡¯t want you to think I¡¯m treating you like a child.¡± She grumbled under her breath, but I couldn¡¯t hear if it was an ¡®okay¡¯ or a ¡®thanks¡¯. Being an older sister is hard¡­ Part 3, Chapter 2 Part 3, Chapter 2 Sophia Amber and I were supposed to be discussing the n to keep Lily and Katie safe ¨C really I should¡¯ve been going home, given that I didn¡¯t have an excuse to stay at Lily¡¯s dorm anymore ¨C but instead we sat facing each other on Amber¡¯s rubbish couch, talking about Lily¡¯s letter. ¡°C¡¯mon why can¡¯t we open it, anything she wanted us to knowter we can know now,¡± Amber whined. Maybe saying we were arguing about the letter would be more urate¡­ ¡°No, she clearly intended for the letter to be openedter, and I trust her judgement,¡± I refuted. ¡°What ifter is now? What if this contains her opinion on what to do about my mother?¡± She pped the envelope in question onto the seat between us, the pale white paper contrasting against the deep red of the fabric. ¡°If she had something important to say on that subject, she had plenty of time to just tell us,¡± I leaned forwards and pped my hand down across from where hers still was. Truthfully, a part of me believed Amber was right, believed the letter contained Lily¡¯s opinion on what to do about Amber¡¯s mother. That part of me thought Amber was looking for permission to kill her mother and she would find it in Lily¡¯s enclosed words ¨C and that scared me. Lily had drastically changed over the past few months, to the point of being literally unrecognizable, and I worried about whether she would keep changing, eventually leaving me behind. She had already stopped going to church with me ¨C which was entirely reasonable given the circumstances, but my worries didn¡¯t care about reason or circumstance. Amber and I red at each other, hands an envelope¡¯s width apart on the sofa, and eyes fixed intently on each other¡¯s. She broke eye contact first, blinking and ncing down, slowly retracting her hand and leaning back. ¡°Fine, you¡¯re probably right. Knowing her, it isn¡¯t about anything dire ¨C it¡¯s probably about our rtionship, like rifying where we stand or something,¡± she sighed, ¡°And as curious as I am, maybe we should let it rest until it¡¯s clearly important or she returns.¡± Without thought, I leaned in, taking the space Amber had just freed up between us. Surprise and anticipation rolled through me. Of course I¡¯d already thought about the letter being about our rtionship, but rifying where we stand¡­ If there was one issue I had with the current status quo, it was that I felt like Lily liked Amber more than me, despite all of Amber¡¯s faults and mistakes. It wasn¡¯t that I was jealous ¨C well maybe I was jealous of the fact that they lived together ¨C but more that I felt like a third to their already established rtionship. I never dated Lily previously. I had been relegated to a text-only friendship until Amber did something stupid and I had to swoop in and pick up the pieces. That kind of thing. So yes, having our rtionship rified, having a written affirmation of the fact that Amber and I were equals, that was something that I needed. ¡°Maybe we should open the letter, just to find out¡­¡± Amber¡¯s head jerked up to face me again, ¡°What?¡± ¡°Well, we¡¯ll just argue about it endlessly, so we should just open it and get it all over with ¨C it¡¯s the only way to settle this,¡± I slowly backed away, sitting up more neutrally. ¡°What are you talking about? You were right, we should trust that Lily had a reason for dying the information in here,¡± her finger stabbed down between us. I crossed my arms, ¡°No, we should get it out of the way. If this changes things at all, it would be better to get it over with and start mulling it over.¡± Amber nced down at my crossed arms before her eyes shot back up. ¡°No, if there¡¯s something that shakes things up between us, it¡¯s probably better buried, at least for now. Thest thing any of us needs is to be crying over getting broken up with instead of protecting ourselves from assassin-witches.¡± I flinched back, ¡°You think one of us is getting broken up with?¡± The letter seemedrger in the corner of my vision than it had been just a moment ago. ¡°No, no, no,¡± she scooted forwards, waving her hands in front of her in a crisscross motion, ¡°I was just using an exaggerated example of why shaking up the status quo might be dangerous.¡± ¡°Maybe you¡¯re right¡­¡± I slumped into the stiff upholstery, finding nofort in itsck of soft curves. Amber pped her palm into her forehead and leaned her shoulder against the couch to mirror me, letting out a sigh. ¡°I look forward to having this argument with you every day they¡¯re gone¡­¡± ¡°Me too¡­¡± I mumbled. ¡ª I got ready for bed in parallel with Amber, brushing my teeth in her bathroom before shedding my clothes in Lily¡¯s room and settling into her bed alone. We discussed whether I would stay, or why I was staying ¨C I suppose I could¡¯ve used the excuse that I wanted to be close in case of an emergency, but as Amber had already pointed out, I wouldn¡¯t be useful in a magical emergency to begin with. In truth, I didn¡¯t know why I was here, in Lily¡¯s room. It didn¡¯t provide me any kind offort, instead fueling my sense of being out-of-ce. I didn''t belong in Lily¡¯s room while she was away any more than I belonged in the world of magic, surrounded by demons, witches and werewolves. I didn¡¯t belong here, and the one ce I¡¯d trusted to make me feel like I did belong ¨C my church ¨C had lost its power. After Lily had stopped showing up, I¡¯d continued going, despite not agreeing with her ostracization. The bitterness surrounding her father¡¯s treatment of her infested the rest of how I thought about the ce, warping an already tenuous bond. Of course, I hadn¡¯t stopped going yet. That church and themunity surrounding it were thest I had left of my parents, and even though attending had eventually be associated with my lingering grief, the alternative would be to give up on all of my lingering feelings about them. I knew that wasn¡¯t necessarily true ¨C my parent¡¯s influence marbled throughout my very being, manifesting in the dishes I cooked for myself, the music I listened to, and the way I approached my life. But as I got older and learned more, those small pieces shrunk and were reced as I outgrew things I¡¯d picked up from my parents as a child. One day I would be left with only the memories of my memories of them, the impact of their deaths loomingrger than their lives. I tossed and turned in Lily¡¯s bed, unable to make myself at home. The realization hit me that I¡¯d never asked Lily if I could use her bed, followed by the realization that I was intruding on Amber¡¯s dorm, something she was almost certainly upset about, but not saying anything for Lily¡¯s sake. It was ten at night, meaning the trains weren¡¯t running, but if I hurried, I could catch one of the night buses that ran infrequently. I threw on my clothes, scribbled a vague note to Amber, saying I needed to return to my dorm, and, after making sure I could leave the door locked, I strode off into the night, back to where I belonged. Lily Katie and I decided to try the library first, using the logic that since we didn¡¯t need sleep as much as humans, they might be open for longer hours. That ended up not working out. The sign on the doors said they closed at 21:00 ¨C it seemed that demons used 24 hour time, or however many hours they had in a day. We didn¡¯t know exactly what the time was, but given that the doors were locked, it was probably after closing. ¡°Shoot, now what?¡± Katie eyed me skeptically, standing one step down from me in front of the library. It was a grand building, much bigger than anything else, just like Kelith had said, the four stories towering over most of the other buildings¡¯ two. It was also wide, taking up the width and length of two buildings ¨C although the rest of the buildings weren¡¯t wide by the standards of department stores and suburban houses. She spoke after a moment of silence, ¡°How am I supposed to know? Aren¡¯t you supposed to be the responsible adult leading me around a foreign country?¡± I grumbled to myself, ¡°When did she get that impression of me¡­?¡± And strode off with apparent purpose. There were plenty of people around, walking through the street and going into shops and restaurants. Once we¡¯d gotten to the library I¡¯d noticed more and more businesses, taking the spots that had been empty further out. The people were diverse, giving me a vague idea of what other demonic races were like, not that I could tell who was a subus by sight, let alone other races. Skin colours ranged across the rainbow, the only consistent factor being that no one I saw looked human. If I¡¯d been more energetic, perhaps I would¡¯ve been more interested in learning about the people, but as it was, the stress of being in a strange ce with nowhere to rest was starting to build. My primary goal was to find someone that didn¡¯t look too intimidating and ask them for directions to a hotel, where we could try to work something out for a room ¨C not my best n ¨C but I couldn¡¯t even start given that, despite how everyone was smiling and waving at us, they still felt unapproachable. Most people looked in the age range of 20-40 and hot, which was intimidating in its own way, not to mention the horns, fangs and tails they had. In short, I led Katie around in circles for a while, not wanting to stray too far from the library and get lost, but struggling to make any progress. My indecision was finally terminated by a kind soul taking pity on us. Unfortunately for my pride but fortunately for our well being, Kelith had returned. She strode up to us, a slight sweat showing on her face. I hadn¡¯t noticed earlier, being too distracted by other things, but she wore exercise shorts and a tank top, showing off her toned, lithe limbs. Katie nudged me, breaking me out of my staring. ¡°Hello, Kelith, what brings you around here?¡± She eyed me with amusement, ¡°Hey there little ubi. I was just passing through on my way back home,¡± She thumbed further into the city, ¡°Did you finish up in the library already?¡± I shook my head, ¡°No, it was closed.¡± ¡°Oh! My bad,¡± she knocked the side of her head, ¡°Silly me, I forget that the South library closes earlier for some reason,¡± she rolled her eyes, ¡°So what were you looking for there, can you find it in one of the other libraries?¡± How many libraries does one city need? I¡¯m pretty sure the one in our hometown was about to close after being starved of funding¡­ Katie finally spoke, ¡°Um, we were just going to do some research, it doesn¡¯t particrly matter where.¡± Kelith narrowed her eyes, ¡°You came to Seriza to go to any library?¡± she seemed more bemused than suspicious, ¡°Where are you from that doesn¡¯t have libraries?¡± Shoot. I knew this would be an issue¡­ ¡°Yea¡­ You know how it is. We¡¯re from down South,¡± I hedged. Her eyebrows raised, ¡°You¡¯re from the capital?!¡± ¡°Uh¡­ no, the other ce down south,¡± sweat rolled down the side of my face. She barked augh, ¡°I¡¯d hope so, because the capital is to the North¡­¡± ¡°Oh, of course¡­¡± I chuckled nervously. ¡°So where are you really from?¡± She grinned, showing her sharp teeth. I grabbed Katie¡¯s wrist, pulling her closer as I inched away from the demon. ¡°You¡¯ve gotta be from some remote ce, I can¡¯t imagine not having libraries.¡± ¡°We have libraries on Earth,¡± I protested. ¡°Earth?¡± Shoot, the jig is up¡­ I inched further away while Kelith was searching her mind for the name, pulling Katie along with me. ¡°Yea¡­ the ce with all of the humans?¡± ¡°Oh, yea!¡± She pulled a face, ¡°Isn¡¯t it kinda¡­¡± She didn¡¯t say it, but I could hear the ¡®you poor things¡¯ in her expression. ¡°It¡¯s not that bad!¡± I nced at Katie, ¡°Right?¡± Katie shrugged, ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Your dad did try to have you killed¡­¡± I shrunk, sandwiched between their pitying expressions. In the face of someone that wasn¡¯t relying on me like Katie was, someone who appeared to be kind and reliable, my mature facade cracked. ¡°Fine, it sucks and I hate it there and we only came to Hell to escape,¡± I let go of Katie¡¯s wrist to punctuate my frustrations with waving arms, ¡°And we can¡¯t even find a ce to sleep or eat and we don¡¯t have any money, and I have no idea what¡¯s going on,¡± my rant went from angry to pleading. Kelith maintained her expression. ¡°Do you need somewhere to stay¡­?¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want to be an inconvenience¡­¡± I grumbled. ¡°Honey, you¡¯re no problem. I was the one that approached a couple of lost looking girls and wanted to help out. I¡¯d be happy to have you stay the night, and my daughter ising over tomorrow.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll get out of your hair before she shows up.¡± Katie chimed in, ¡°Thank you for your hospitality.¡± ¡°Sweeties, that¡¯s not what I meant, you can stay as long as you¡¯d like. I was just letting you know because you seem a bit shy. And you¡¯re very wee,¡± she started walking, waving at us over her shoulder, ¡°Now c¡¯mon, let¡¯s get you rested.¡± I nced at Katie and we both shrugged before following Kelith. I guess we¡¯re doing this¡­? Part 3, Chapter 3 Part 3, Chapter 3 Lily Once we¡¯d secured a ce to stay, I rxed enough to let my mind wander and take in the sights. I was still waiting for Kelith to show any sign of impropriety, but I could take a moment to myself while we walked. My tired mind didn¡¯t know where to start with absorbing the details surrounding me, so I stuck to people watching. The streets weren¡¯t crowded, theck of space for cars providing more than enough room for everyone, but there were plenty of people to see. Most looked like they were thirty-ish by human standards, with a few visibly older people, Kelith included. Fashion was wild in Hell. I didn¡¯t even have thenguage to describe most of what I saw, with some of the younger people having mboyant outfits that shimmered magically, warped colors, or writhed on their bodies. It was strange and a little scary, seeing what people could do with the magic I had hardly scratched the surface on. I wasn¡¯t sure if the people I saw with more mundane clothing ¨C at least in the sense that they seemed physically possible, not necessarily in taste ¨C didn¡¯t have the ability to manifest clothes, or if they had a more subdued style. By the time we arrived at a courtyard with a huge purple portal in the center, I was beyond overwhelmed. So it was no surprise that when Kelith exined what was going on, my mind didn¡¯t have a response to give. ¡°So we¡¯ll be going through that portal ¨C that¡¯s a short range intuition-based type, so just hold onto my hand and think about following me and we¡¯ll all end up together. If you get lost somehow, just ask around for the nearest phone booth, and dial me up.¡± Portal¡­ Intuition? Phone booth?! I don¡¯t¡­ I nodded. Katie saw me, and followed my example. Going through the portal wasn¡¯t as eventful as you¡¯d think. There wasn¡¯t a queue ¨C people could approach from all sides ¨C so it was just a matter of walking through it. Also, there weren¡¯t any peopleing out of the portal, which initially made me think exit portals were their own thing, but then we popped out right before Kelith¡¯s front door, a numbered entrance in the hall of what appeared to be the second floor of an apartment building. As curious as I was about how the portal worked, I knew I had no chance of understanding the mechanics, nor did I want to subject our benefactor to the torture of trying to teach me. Katie was likewise trying to be as polite as possible, following my lead as I removed my shoes once we entered. Kelith gave us a strange look, leading me to believe we¡¯d messed something up, until I remembered that she knew we were subi. ¡°We¡¯re wearing physical clothes because we don¡¯t have the energy to manifest our own,¡± I rified. She gasped, holding a hand over her mouth, ¡°Gosh, you should¡¯ve told me you were starving,e over here,¡± she held her arms open in an invitation to hug. I hesitated, ¡°It¡¯s not that bad¡­ I just need to save my energy for the portal back home.¡± ¡°Portal back? To the humans?¡± She dropped her arms. I nodded. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°My girlfriends are there, and our lives are there. We can¡¯t just move ourselves to Hell on a whim.¡± ¡°Your girlfriends?¡± her expression went from curious to ufortable, ¡°They¡¯re¡­ are they¡­ human?¡± Her voice was hesitant, like she was scared to even suggest it. What the hell does she think a human is? ¡°Yea, it¡¯s not that weird is it?¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with it¡­ Humans are rare around here, and the human world is¡­ unpopr.¡± She finally entered the ce proper, leading us into her living room, a cozy space with a hand-knitted nket draped over every seat. My mother came to my mind. ¡°If it¡¯s unpopr, why do demons visit the human world at all?¡± Katie remained silent, but turned to focus on the conversation when she heard my question, having been previously looking around the room. ¡°Well, some demons do truly unforgivable things and they¡¯re punished by banishing them to the human world¡­¡± she grimaced, ¡°It¡¯s not the most popr of policies, some people argue it¡¯s barbaric and antiquated, but that¡¯s not important right now.¡± She sighed, ¡°Demons that visit humans of their own will are usually driven by an insatiable wanderlust and curiosity, but that¡¯s not something I could exin to you, given I don¡¯t understand it myself.¡± I nodded, wondering which category my mother fell into. ¡°Thank you for the information.¡± ¡°Oh my, aren¡¯t you two just the most polite,¡± she tittered, beckoning us further into her home, down the hall. My mind went back to my girlfriends, and what they were up to. Were they safe? Were they sticking together? Had they opened my letter? I had no idea. I really hope they opened the letter¡­ I shook the thought from my head ¨C being tired was messing with my libido in ways I hadn¡¯t experienced since I¡¯d changed. Thest time I¡¯d been this tired, when Amber had been angry with me, I¡¯d just felt depressed instead of horny, but the fact that I was being constantly bombarded with attractive demons made me miss my girlfriends even more. Ugh, Kelith was right, we should all move to Hell and not have to worry about stupid human stuff. She ushered us into a room as cozy as the rest of her home, a bedroom with a queen-sized mattress covered in cutesy plush animals, a fuzzy quilt underneath them. The single window was covered by a curtain with the texture of a bathrobe, and a desk sat in the corner, looking strangely professional and sleek, given the rest of the room. I shuffled my feet on the soft carpet, rxing further as my sleepiness started to catch up to me. Katie, on the other hand, was still concerned with propriety, ¡°Miss, we couldn¡¯t possibly take your daughter¡¯s room right before she visits¡­¡± Kelithughed, ¡°My daughter¡¯s room is across the hall. This,¡± she did a spin, ¡°is my office.¡± Katie blushed, ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t mind sharing, then this room is yours ¨C I don¡¯t use it as an office anymore so don¡¯t worry about me. I¡¯ll get you what you need for tonight and then tomorrow we can worry about getting you girls some food.¡± Katie and I nodded shyly, submitting to Kelith¡¯s motherliness. Is this what having a mom is like? Amber Sophia was gone. I¡¯d woken up early, wanting to work out before going to ss, and as I stared bleary eyed at my empty dorm, it took longer than should¡¯ve been necessary to convince myself that she wasn¡¯t in any kind of danger. After reading her note several times, checking Lily¡¯s room for signs of a fight, and pacing around for a few minutes, I ended up shooting her a text, asking if she was okay, before finally leaving for my run. Even with hundreds of worries floating through my brain, it was nice to get some much needed exercise, the cold morning air stinging my face as my feet pounded into the pavement. A rhythm quickly developed, a symphony of breath, step, and heartbeat, with asional interruptions by the waking city around me. I let my mind wander, finally freed from having anything urgent to deal with. For the rest of the day, I could go to ss, go home to an empty dorm, and marinate in my own thoughts. Everything was¡­ fine? I had a lot of thoughts about my rtionship with Lily ¨C mainly that I was still on thin ice from my earlier mistakes, but without her around for a week, there wasn¡¯t much I could do, unless I wanted to n some kind of grand gesture when she got back. That wasn¡¯t a terrible idea, but from what I understood about her, she would be ufortable with anything too extravagant, and would prefer if Sophia and I worked together on it, rather than trying to n our own things separately. I¡¯ll text Sophia about nning a group date when Lily gets back, and then maybe Lily can take us on individual dates after. I hope not everything we do will be as three¡­ As fun as our threesome had been, I wanted some individual time, if only so I didn¡¯t keepparing myself to Sophia. She was just so¡­ perfect. Sophia always knew what to say to reassure Lily, always kept a cool head and thought through things rationally. She wasn¡¯t an impulsive moron like I was, so it was no wonder Lily had fallen for her. I couldn¡¯t even nitpick her ws, because the only ones I could find, if you could even call them that, were that she had some niche interests ¨C which I¡¯m sure Lily thought was cute ¨C and she was a bit rude to me ¨C which I deserved. And beyond Lily thinking her weird obsessions were cute, it was insane that she managed to do any amount of research on demons on her own. That spoke to a dedication beyond a passing interest, at least by my standards, and it made me feel small and stupid, thinking about how hard it must have been to figure out demonic with nothing but a couple of books. I¡¯m not even going to mention the fact that she¡¯s a good kisser too¡­ Of course, after all of that, it was just unfair for her to be so attractive. She had this pretty smile that probably made Lily¡¯s insides turn to goo, and a body that was soft and curvy in all of the right ces. I didn¡¯t consider myself a butch, given that I had a pretty conventional shoulder length hairstyle, wore feminine clothes, and used makeup asionally. However, I wasn¡¯t particrly feminine either. I worked out enough to harden a lot of my natural curves, and when it came to chest size, I waspletely dwarfed by both my girlfriend, and my girlfriend¡¯s girlfriend. It was easy for me to think I wasn¡¯t Lily¡¯s type, given how she had acted when we first dated, and the fact that she didn¡¯t start exploring her sexuality until Chris¡­ which, while he was a nice enough person, he was also Chris¡­ So there was a chance that Lily liked Sophia more than me ¨C for good reasons ¨C and found her more attractive than me ¨C also for good reasons ¨C and that left the question of why I was even here. As in, ¡®Why would Lily want to date Sophia, and also a woman less attractive than Sophia in every way?¡¯ That wasn¡¯t a fun question to ask. I stopped mid run, bending over to ce my hands on my knees and huffing out tired breaths. I¡¯d lost track of how long I¡¯d been going, and I found myself in a park several miles away from my dorm. As I turned myself around, starting the trip back, the envelope popped into my head. My newest theory of why Lily had written it was that she knew how Sophia and I interacted, and she thought it would be funny to make us argue endlessly over it, only to find out it was all a ruse. Of course, that didn¡¯t really line up with Lily¡¯s character, but it was a more pleasant prospect than thinking the letter was her weird way of breaking up with me. No, for now the envelope would remain unopened, and I needed to just get it out of my head. My head needed to be focused on my mother and¡­ I stumbled in my stride when I caught a glimpse of what looked like a rival witch down one of the side streets I passed. She was just standing there ¨C was she waiting for me? I recognized her ¨C May, I think her name was ¨C from a scuffle we¡¯d had a few years back when we¡¯d both tried to collect the same bounty on a ghoul. Thankfully I¡¯d managed to hit her with a sleep spell without inflicting her any permanent damage, but it wouldn¡¯t surprise me if she held a grudge. I continued running, picking up the pace. Seeing her now could only be bad news, even if it was just a coincidence. It almost certainly wasn¡¯t a coincidence. Part 3, Chapter 4 Part 3, Chapter 4 Sophia Going to ss on Wednesday morning didn¡¯t alleviate my sense of ostracization at all. Now, instead of feeling like I was a human girl in over her head in a world of magic, I was someone trying to escape from my magical troubles by burying my head in the sand of my normal life. And maybe, in a way, both of those were true. Amber was right to say I didn¡¯t know anything about magic, but it was also true that I was running away, not helping in the little ways I could, instead hoping Amber took care of everything. My insides twisted and protested through my professor¡¯s droning in response to my thoughts, begging me to be responsible, pleading that if anything happened to Amber, it would be my fault, and I was a coward to have run away from her. I hadn¡¯t even responded to her text yet, feeling awkward about the fact that she¡¯d sent it about an hour prior, so I¡¯d be respondingte ¨C how did she wake up so early? ¨C and I didn¡¯t know what to say to begin with. Was I doing okay? It wasn¡¯t an easy question to answer, given the circumstances. Or maybe it was; maybe the answer was just ¡®no¡¯, simple as that. Maybe I had to ept that I didn¡¯t have anything to fuel my nervous energy towards ¨C no church to takefort in, no rabbit hole of research to climb down. All I had was my schoolwork ¨C which was dull ¨C and waiting. Waiting for Amber to tell me everything had been taken care of, waiting for my girlfriend to return, waiting for everything to go back to ¡®normal¡¯ ¨C whatever that meant. I certainly wasn¡¯t okay when Amber called me and I had to step out of my ss. ¡°What¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°Holy shit Sophia, I think my mom sent someone after me,¡± she was out of breath. ¡°What?¡± ¡°There was a witch, I recognized her¨C we need to hide,¡± she belted out. ¡°Amber, slow down. Deep breaths.¡± She panted into my ear through my phone. ¡°Tell me where to meet you, I¡¯m here for you.¡± She sighed, and belted out an address before hanging up. I followed with a sigh of my own. I guess now is my chance to help her¡­ ¡ª I entered the pizza shop cautiously. It was close enough to my college to walk, and ¨C unless I¡¯d gotten the ce wrong ¨C I¡¯d gotten there before Amber. Not that I had any confidence I was in the right ce. If she¡¯d told me ahead of time we¡¯d be meeting at a pizza parlor, with the context that we were on the run from angry witches, I would¡¯ve assumed it would be a local ce, something greasy and shady ¨C the kind of ce you half-believed was a front for the mafia. Instead, it was a chain restaurant that sold extremely mediocre pizza, held up only by people in suits doing market optimization and supply-chain management. In other words, it was not the ce to stage a dramatic confrontation of witches, nor was it the ce to build atmosphere while talking about the horrible things they¡¯d do to us. I sat down nheless, smiling through the waitress taking my order, despite the fact that I didn¡¯t know if I would be staying long enough to eat the couple of slices I asked for. A sparse weekday morning crowd chatted, filling the room with barely enough life so as to not seem dead. That was, until Amber barged into the room, mming the door open and stumbling through,pletely red in the face. She spun around, finally focusing on me during her second spin, and speed-walked towards me. She stopped, standing in front of my stic booth, but when she opened her mouth to speak, I pulled her down into the seat next to me. I wrapped my arms around her, ignoring how her sweat got wiped up by my scarf and sweater. ¡°Amber, unless there¡¯s someone right outside waiting to fling spells at us, we can take a second to breathe.¡± I drew in an exaggerated breath, and blew it out behind her ear. She hesitated a moment before following suit, body going limp as it lost the tension holding it up, ¡°I¡­¡± I kept my voice calm and soft, despite my own worries. ¡°Take a sip of my water and then we can talk about it, okay? I¡¯m here to help, but I need you to take your time exining so I get the full picture.¡± We both pulled away from our embrace at the same time, me watching her face that was just as red as the moment she¡¯d entered the restaurant. She grabbed my water cup and eyed the lipstick stain on it suspiciously before drinking from the other side. Then, she finally spoke, voice much calmer. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not actually sure if she was there for me, but I ran past an old rival of mine, someone who my mother could certainly hire to take care of me¡­¡± I ced my hand on her thigh, much like I had for Lily when she came out to her dad several months back. Amber didn¡¯t shake it off. ¡°But I think¡­ I think we should stick together, and unless there¡¯s a ss you really need to attend, we should stay out of sight.¡± Our conversation was interrupted by the waitress bringing me my food, a couple of slices of veggie lover¡¯s pizza. I thanked her, while Amber eyed it hungrily. Iughed, letting my hand drop from her leg. ¡°You can eat as much as you want, I can order more.¡± She looked into my eyes for reassurances, holding my gaze for a moment, before nodding thankfully and digging in. ¡°So, is there anything else I can help you with?¡± She chewed for a moment and then swallowed. ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯m mostly going to be working on spell stuff, so¡­¡± Her eyes lit up, ¡°Oh my god, you can read Demonic, right?¡± ¡°Slowly, but yes.¡± Her palm pped her forehead. ¡°I¡¯m so stupid, you could¡¯ve been helping me with my spells this whole time!¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I let out. I didn¡¯t know how to respond; I¡¯d assumed Amber knew more than me on the subject. ¡°That would be really helpful,¡± she took another bite and her eyes scanned across the room, ¡°I do have one more request, but it¡¯s kind of weird, and I would totally understand if you said no.¡± I remained silent, watching her intently. ¡°It¡¯s kind of a stress-relief thing, like it would just help me rx¡­¡± I nodded ¨C stress relief seemed important. ¡°It¡¯s just¨C you know that letter?¡± Nod. ¡°It would really be a burden off my back if I wasn¡¯t worrying about what was inside it. I was thinking about it, and I really don¡¯t think Lily would want us to stress over it, she probably just didn¡¯t think about what the uncertainty of it would feel like¡­¡± An inexplicable sense of anticlimax washed through me, ¡°Yea, sure, that seems reasonable.¡± She turned to smile at me, reaching her hand out to rest on top of mine on the table, ¡°And if there¡¯s anything you need, just let me know.¡± I smiled back, ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll take you up on that offer¡­¡± Maybe I can use this chance to get her to teach me magic! Lily I waspletely disoriented when I woke up, surrounded by a sea of fluff. I reached my arm out, searching fornd, only for my hand to find Katie¡¯s face rather ungracefully. My brain quickly filled in the events of the previous day. Hell. Katie. Kelith. I sat up, throwing off the nket and yawning Katie grumbled at me, ¡°Good morning Lily¡­¡± ¡°Sorry about smacking you¡­ How are you doing?¡± My tail wiggled out from under me, protesting after a night stuck under my body. She sat up as well, rubbing her eyes, ¡°Other than getting woken up, I¡¯m fine.¡± My mouth twisted, ¡°You¡¯re still feeling tired?¡± ¡°Yea¡­¡± she sighed, ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡± ¡°Katie¡­¡± She turned away. ¡°You can¡¯t force it. I understand you¡¯re just taking care of me because Amber told you to.¡± I scooted towards her on the bed, sitting behind her and wrapping one of my arms loosely around her shoulders. ¡°Katie, I do care about you. I want to protect you and learn about you and spend time with you ¨C I just don¡¯t know how to express that because the only family I¡¯ve ever known is my dad.¡± I brought my free hand up to pat her on the head, focusing on the space between her horns. ¡°I¡¯m not a little kid,¡± she grumbled, making no attempt to move my hand from her head. ¡°I know you aren¡¯t, but you¡¯re still my little sister.¡± She finally rxed, leaning her head back on my shoulder. I continued patting her head. One day down, six to go¡­ ¡ª We left our room shortly after, feeling slightly refreshed after our hug. I still had a long way to go with Katie, but I hoped that eventually we would have a solid rtionship outside of our mutual connection with Amber. I¡¯d manifested some cozy pajamas, while Katie, who was still struggling with her magic, got dressed with an extra change of clothes she bought in her backpack. Kelith¡¯s kitchen/dining room was awash with activity, the one woman army cooking up a storm of tantalizing aromas set to the beat of oils crackling and popping. We exchanged pleasantries, Kelith refusing our offers to help, and everything was as expected: delicious ¨C if strangely human ¨C pancakes, roast potatoes with veggies, and fresh fruit, until Kelith¡¯s daughter arrived. When she¡¯d mentioned her daughter would be visiting the previous night, my mind, struggling with conceptualizing the age of demons, had filled in a woman somewhere between Katie¡¯s age and Amber¡¯s. Edith, Kelith¡¯s daughter, was not Amber¡¯s age ¨C in fact, she looked about the same age as her mother, leading me and Katie to stare at her with raised eyebrows. She, like her mother, had pink hair and deep blue skin, with Edith¡¯s being slightly more purple, and her eyes being an orangish pink. Both women were on the taller end, closer in height to Amber than me or Katie, but not inhumanly tall. Edith started the conversation, sitting down across from me at the circr yellow wood table, eyeing me curiously, ¡°Hey, you look¨C¡± But her mother interrupted, sitting down next to her daughter, holding a hand up, ¡°Sorry honey, they¡¯re from the human world, and if they look confused, it¡¯s not their fault.¡± She nodded at us, giving us a chance to exin. Edith pursed her lips and crossed her arms, but stayed silent. ¡°Why do you look like you¡¯re the same age?¡± I asked. Kelith answered, exining patiently, ¡°We¡¯re shapeshifters, although we aren¡¯t as powerful as you two, meaning what we look like is pretty immaterial,¡± she tilted her head, wincing, ¡°Your parents did exin shapeshifting to you, right?¡± I blushed, embarrassed instead of annoyed at having that question asked to me for a second time, ¡°Kind of? I got a pamphlet from Hell about puberty, but I thought my true form was static.¡± ¡°What, were you raised by hellhounds?¡± Kelith seemed to be unable to decide between pity and indignance. Katie, the traitor, nodded enthusiastically, while Edith flinched, her expression growing more and more pained. Kelith continued, ¡°As far as age is concerned, most people will continue growing up and changing their body until they¡¯refortable, and they mostly stick to the same body. But nothing about your form is necessarily static, if someone asks you for a true form, they¡¯re just asking for a form that you believe represents you ¨C something that doesn¡¯t take magical upkeep.¡± The information slowly sank in. For some reason, I¡¯d thought that being short, feminine, and curvy in my demon form was something I¡¯d never had control over, thought that this was what I¡¯d been born with and that was it. Looking at my body with my new perspective, however, didn¡¯t reveal anything that I wanted to change. Just like with my human form ¨C which was very simr ¨C I didn¡¯t even feel an urge to experiment ¨C other than with the asional longer tongue. And that was its own revtion, to look back on my journey and realize that it had been me pushing myself forward the whole time. While I was thinking, Edith had been fidgeting more and more in her seat, looking distinctly ufortable about something. ¡°What is it?¡± her mother asked. ¡°Well¡­ before you interrupted me and made this a hundred times more awkward, I was going to tell Lily that she¡¯s the striking image of my wife¡­¡± She sent me a pained smile. I stared at her, unfazed and uprehending, ¡°Why does that matter? I thought you just exined that how we look isn¡¯t static.¡± A moment of silence passed with Katie and I looking at each other, confused, while Kelith examined my face and her daughter looked ufortable. Kelith, having clearly caught on to the implications, swallowed nervously and adopted a dire, wide-eyed stare. ¡°It¡¯s true that the way you look is static, but it isn¡¯t arbitrary¡­¡± She trailed off, unable to say the rest. Edith¡¯s pale face snapped to attention, breaking herself out of a stupor. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Lily. She¨C We didn¡¯t know¡­¡± I leaned forward slightly, almost a slump, and felt my mouth hang open. ¡°Your wife¡­ Her name¡­¡± A tear escaped her eye, and she scrunched them shut, covering them with her fingers, ¡°Zamira Victory¡­¡± What the fuck? My hands held my head up, elbows anchored on either side of my nearly finished meal. I stared emptily at the potatoes, my vision spinning and blurring to create an abstract masterpiece, one that was about to be puked on before it ever got to be appreciated if I didn¡¯t immediately leave. I stood, my chair screeching behind me, and pointed towards the room I¡¯d slept in, mouth soundlessly pping open and closed as I rapidly blinked, fighting back tears. Kelith nodded at me, ¡°If there¡¯s anything you need¡­¡± But I was already gone, Katie on my tail. Part 3, Chapter 5 Part 3, Chapter 5 Lily Thoughts stuttered in my head, getting on the wrong train, missing their stop, and randomly pulling the emergency brake. I slowly began the act of grounding myself. I¡¯m in the bed in Kelith¡¯s guest room and Katie isying behind me, petting the top of my head. And, most importantly of all, I just found out that my Mom isn¡¯t dead. The strangest thing wasn¡¯t what I knew about my mother, but rather what I didn¡¯t know. I didn¡¯t know anything; I never really had, and the revtion that one of the tiny things I thought I knew about her was wrong shouldn¡¯t¡¯ve been surprising. Because really, the fact that she was dead, even if untrue, hadn¡¯t been significant thus far. In the grand scheme of my life, there was no practical difference between whether my mother had abandoned me to suffer under my father or if she had been a victim of that same cruelty. The end result ¨C me being without support ¨C was the same regardless of circumstance. And yet, it somehow hurt all over again, knowing that it had been her choice. Maybe it was the belief that was important. Regardless of reality, for most of my life I¡¯d told myself ¨C takenfort in the fact that ¨C if I¡¯d had a mother figure, or if I ever met her, that it would fix what was wrong with me in some nebulous way. My life sucked because I didn¡¯t have a mom, and therefore my mom must be an unalienable good. Theplexity and nuance that came with reality, however, destroyed that simple parable without question. Whether she¡¯d known of my plights or not, a mistake had been made, and I didn¡¯t know how to reconcile that with the image I¡¯d built up. Which of the versions of my mother I had in my head fit the new information? Was it the mythical figure that was the answer to all of my problems I¡¯d invented as a child? Or maybe it was the version of her from after I¡¯d grown bitter and disillusioned by my father¡¯s attitudes, the version of her that abandoned me without regard? Of course, the obvious answer was that those people weren¡¯t real; my mother was a stranger to me, and my mythologizing ¨C regardless of how long-held my beliefs were ¨C had no bearing on who she really was. And maybe that was the important part. It wasn¡¯t the knowledge that my mom was alive that shook me to my core, it was the knowledge that she was a real person with history and ws, because that meant that meeting her, that learning what she was like, was eminently realizable ¨C not just something to be abstracted and fictionalized. I twitched in bed, reorienting myself yet again and leaning into Katie¡¯s hand brushing through my hair. ¡°Am I a bad person if I¡¯m scared to meet her?¡± ¡°I think it would be weird if you weren¡¯t nervous; It¡¯s a big deal,¡± she responded, her even-keeled voice drifting through my chaotic mind. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure if it counts as me being nervous. I¡¯m not excited, I¡¯m just afraid¡­¡± ¡°Shit, what would Amber say here¡­?¡± Katie groaned. ¡°Something like, ¡®Only you can take the initiative and decide how to handle the situation.¡¯¡± Iughed half-heartedly. ¡°As ¡®good¡¯ as your Amber impression is, I want to hear what you would say.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ I say fuck it ¨C you can go cuss your mom out to her face, or run into her arms, or anything in between. As scary as the situation is, it really is up to you.¡± I huffed a fullerugh, ¡°Isn¡¯t that the same thing?¡± I shook my head, driving off her hand, and sat up, resisting the urge to give in to my desire to hide away. ¡°Whatever, I¡¯ll listen regardless, it¡¯s finally time to face this.¡± ¡ª Katie and I left our bedroom, hand in hand, searching for where the mother-daughter pair went. I squeezed my sister¡¯s hand, grateful that I didn¡¯t have to face this alone. We found Kelith sitting in her living room, frustration on her face. She turned to face us when we entered, her expression softening slightly. ¡°Are you doing okay, Lily? I¡¯m sorry she sprung that on you; my daughter can be a bit thoughtless sometimes.¡± I shook my head, leading Katie to the couch across from Kelith. ¡°No it¡¯s okay, I would¡¯ve wanted to know sooner rather thanter, it was just a bit surprising.¡± She sighed. ¡°I only know about the situation from the little bits of Zamira¡¯s past she¡¯s shared, and from the impression you gave me about your life among humans,¡± she waved her hand, ¡°Of course, you don¡¯t have to share anything, but if you want to talk about it or ask some questions, I¡¯m here.¡± There were an endless number of things to ask, little bits of context I didn¡¯t have, some of which Kelith almost certainly didn¡¯t have either, but one thing was on my mind more than the others, the question I¡¯d been dying to ask since Katie asked me what I wanted to do in hell. ¡°What was she like?¡± I shook my head, ¡°¨Cis she like?¡± I corrected. Her eyes stretched for a moment at my initial question. ¡°Zamira is¡­¡± she stared off into space for a moment, gathering her thoughts, ¡°She¡¯s adventurous. She loves to travel around, dragging Edith every which way, trying new things and such,¡± she sighed, ¡°She¡¯s outgoing and free and full of energy.¡± I turned her ount over in my head, slotting it next to the things my father told me about Mom. ¡°And what do you know about her time among humans?¡± Kelith shook her head, ¡°She doesn¡¯t talk about it. I knew she¡¯d been, but not why or what happened.¡± My lips pursed and twisted to one side. ¡°And where is she now?¡± ¡°My daughter-inw likes to give Edith and I some time alone when they visit, she¡¯s not supposed to be here for another week. She¡¯s probably still at their ce in the capital.¡± I wonder why they just call it the capital, it must have a name, right? ¡°I should see her, huh¡­¡± Katie squeezed my hand, showing her support. ¡°Do you want to? I¡¯d imagine Edith will tell her about you eventually, given their rtionship, but if you want to stay quiet for your week here, I won¡¯t hold it against you.¡± I hate having to take initiative¡­ I miss my girlfriends. ¡°Whatever, I should take this chance to see her; I have no idea when I¡¯ll be back given all of the nonsense going on with humans,¡± I rolled my eyes, ¡°Should I travel over there, or¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to impose on Kelith any more than I needed to, even if she was my¡­ step-grandmother? ¡°How about we take you out to lunch and invite Zamira? We can see how it goes and decide what to do after that.¡± The look she gave me was fiercely protective. Katie responded over my silent nods, ¡°That sounds nice. Thank you so much for everything you¡¯ve done Kelith, we¡¯re really grateful.¡± My nods grew more enthusiastic, ¡°We really can¡¯t thank you enough¡­¡± She sent us a teasing smile, ¡°Oh hush, I¡¯m more than happy to spoil my granddaughters.¡± Warmth flooded into me. Is this what it will feel like with Mom¡­? Amber Sophia took me back to her dorm after a quick stop at mine, with the logic being that it was less likely for someone toe looking for us there. She didn¡¯t have a roommate, thankfully, but there wasn¡¯t much space either, just a small desk and her bed in a single room. I ended up sitting in her desk chair, while she stood over me, trying to figure out what the spells I¡¯d learned actually did. We made a decent amount of progress, finding that some of the bigger spells I knew, such as invisibility, had aponent of them that sent a magical ping off to somewhere else. I couldn¡¯t bepletely sure, but I theorized that my mother had some kind of receiver that located someone when they used a spell she designed. I wasn¡¯t sure why she¡¯d needed to leave out materials for demon radar to test me if she could tell what spells I used, but if there was one thing I knew about my mother, it was that she always had anotheryer of deception. Eventually, when it became clear that Sophia was getting tired of standing over my shoulder, she moved toying on her bed, reading a thick book that ¨C as far as I could tell from its cover ¨C was about the general history of mythology across the world. I remained at the desk, crossing my arms on the faux wood and resting my head on them, catching glimpses of Sophia asionally turning pages in the corner of my vision. Thoughts about my mother floated in and out of my mind, less a train of thought and more an immaterial atmosphere of thought soup. It was an undeniable fact that my rtionship with my mother was unlike the ounts of some of my peers. When I¡¯d first joined public school at fourteen, I¡¯d been confused about the apparently well-established concept of motherly: warm, gentle,passionate. Of course, I hadn¡¯t thought my mother was unkind ¨C she threw me birthday parties, looked after me, and taught me cool magic. What more could I want? But in the seven years since, it¡¯d grown more and more clear to me how odd my situation was. There were plenty of people with terrible mothers, people with no mother, and people with good mothers, but it was hard to find someone who could rte to the kind of mom that was primarily your teacher ¨C a close teacher for sure, one that took care in my personal life, but distant enough to have time to deal with the twenty or so other kids she was responsible for. I¡¯d met someone who lived in a foster home and had rted simr experiences of being one of many, of feeling partially responsible for the care of their siblings, but hadn¡¯t rted to the way she pushed me, the way I was her apprentice as much as her daughter. I¡¯d met people with strict parents, the kind to control where their college-aged offspring was going on a Friday night, and they¡¯d rted to the way my mother had pushed me in my studies ¨C of course I¡¯d left out the magical nature of my studies ¨C but they hadn¡¯t rted to the independence I¡¯d had. In short, my rtionship with my mother was odd, and now, after everything I¡¯d been learning, after genuinely believing she would send someone to kill me, I didn¡¯t know how to feel, as ridiculous as that sounded. Was I supposed to be angry, to rage at the audacity? Should I despair, feel pity for myself? Or should I act like she would want me to, calmly devising schemes and counter-schemes, rob her of the power she wields with the same detached indifference that she would? I let out a sigh, watching as Sophia flipped another page. I couldn¡¯t bring myself to be angry or vindictive towards my mother, but it wasn¡¯t like I could resolve our conflict with pity or despair. Part 3, Chapter 6 Part 3, Chapter 6 Amber Once I finished my brooding, the letter popped into my head yet again, and it was time to finally put the mystery to bed. I grabbed it out of the overnight bag I¡¯d packed at my dorm, and got Sophia¡¯s attention, sitting down on the edge of her bed and watching as she crawled over to sit next to me. We stared at the letter in my hands, a small gap between us, tension building for this silly moment. Iughed, ¡°It¡¯s going to be something really stupid isn¡¯t it¡­¡± Sophia gave a weak smile, ¡°Maybe¡­¡± I put my hand down in the space between us, inviting hers to join me. Her touch had helped earlier in the restaurant, and I found desire building in me for it, as strange as that was. She took up the invitation without hesitation, cing her hand on mine. I turned mine over and gripped hers, ¡°No matter what, this doesn¡¯t change anything.¡± She nodded. I went to open the letter, only to realize I had no way of doing it with one hand. Sophia giggled at me awkwardly staring at the envelope in my free hand, before standing and escaping my grasp. She made her way back to me with a stic letter opener, quickly sliced it open, and sat back down with her hand in mine again. I let out a breath, took the paper out, and began reading, ¡°Dear Amber and Sophia, First off, I love you both! Second off, I¡¯m so proud of both of you for this, I¡¯m well aware of how difficult the process of self-realization can be¡­¡± I trailed off, a sinking feeling forming in my stomach. Sophia looked just as uneasy, slipping her hand out of mine without a word. I continued reading, my anticipatory tone giving way to one of dread, ¡°I¡¯ve seen the way you two look at each other, so I had a feeling this would happen. To be clear, I¡¯mpletelyfortable with you two having a rtionship, whether it be romantic or¡­¡± I pinched the bridge of my nose, ¡°just sexual¡­¡± I sighed and turned to Sophia, ¡°Do I really have to read the rest of this?¡± She shrugged, reaction still subdued, ¡°Maybe there¡¯s something importantter¡­?¡± I continued, despite both of us knowing there wasn¡¯t anything, ¡°So while I¡¯m gone, you two haveplete permission to do whatever with each other, as long as you tell me about it when I¡¯m back. And since we never talked about other people, I¡¯ll just rify here that I want to meet someone before you¡¯re with them, I¡¯m not reallyfortable with any of us being with strangers, unless it was all together. Anyways, good luck! Love, Lily¡± A silence stretched out, filling the room. ¡°So¡­¡± I started. ¡°Well, we found out what the letter was about.¡± I shook my head, ¡°Did she really think¡­?¡± ¡°Maybe it was more of a hope¡­¡± Sophia smirked. I smiled, meeting her eyes with mine, ¡°That dirty demon¡­ I mean, it¡¯s ridiculous, right?¡± ¡°How so?¡± I sputtered, ¡°What do you mean? How¡¯s it not ridiculous?¡± ¡°We¡¯re both attracted to women. It makes sense that Lily¡¯s horny brain might think we could develop feelings for each other.¡± There she goes with being level-headed and reasonable again. Is there anything that can break herposure? I didn¡¯t want to lie to Sophia, but I did want to tease her and see if she could get flustered. So I told a bit more of the truth than I otherwise would¡¯ve. ¡°Maybe that¡¯s true, but there¡¯s no way you¡¯d be attracted to me. You hate me and you¡¯re way out of my league ¨C both of you are.¡± Wait, that¡¯s not even flirty ¨C that¡¯s just pathetic¡­ Instead of flustered, as I¡¯d hoped, she reacted with a confused stare. ¡°I¡¯m just the awkward third to your rtionship with Lily, why would you feel anything other than pity for me?¡± I leaned in, closing half of the small gap between our faces. ¡°What are you talking about? I¡¯m the awkward third to your rtionship!¡± Frustration creeped into my tone. We stared into each other¡¯s eyes, the realization dawning on both of us. ¡°We¡¯re so stupid¡­¡± we harmonized. ¡°I¨C¡± ¡°You¨C¡± ¡°You go first,¡± she said, finally breaking our staring contest, ncing down at herp. Oh god, how much do I want to admit to her? How much do I want to admit to myself? Iid back into her mattress, fluttering my legs against the side of the bed. ¡°So, you¡¯re attractive. Very attractive. But it¡¯s not just that; you¡¯re feminine in a way I¡¯m not, and sometimes it feels like Lily doesn¡¯t find me that attractive. Like I know she cares about me, butpared to you¡­¡± Sophia sighed,ying back next to me, ¡°First off, thank you. It¡¯s incredibly ttering that you find me attractive, given you¡¯re so perfect, fit and confident¨C ¡°I¡¯m not confident, I¡¯m impulsive.¡± Sheughed, staring at the ceiling, ¡°You¡¯re hot. And I have no doubt that Lily agrees with me on that matter.¡± I hummed skeptically. ¡°Don¡¯t make mee over there and show you how hot I think you are¡­¡± I blushed. ¡°As for my feelings about our rtionship with Lily, it feels to me like she likes you more than me because of how easily she forgave you, and how much closer you were to her before she asked us out. After she stopped going to church, I didn¡¯t see her in person for a long while.¡± She continued before I could gather my thoughts to respond, ¡°And I know that¡¯s not right ¨C it¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t want her to forgive you or that I wanted her to keep going to church with me, it''s just¡­¡± she turned her head to the side, facing me, ¡°Maybe I¡¯m just jealous of you¡­¡± I huffed augh staring into her eyes once more. ¡°Well I already admitted I was envious of you the night we met. Your smile is so pretty and you always know what to say, and you¡¯re just so damn unppable.¡± Her eyes flicked down slightly, but I couldn¡¯t tell if she was embarrassed by my praise or if she¡¯d nced down at my lips. She smirked, ¡°So you were talking about stress relief earlier¡­¡± I closed my eyes. ¡°Oh god, I did not mean it like that¡­¡± ¡°What a shame¡­¡± She murmured. ¡°I¡­¡± I rolled over to face away from her so I could focus, ¡°So we¡¯re attracted to each other ¨C I¡¯ve got that down. But, if I can admit something a bit embarrassing, I¡¯m not as experienced as I pretend to be around Lily.¡± ¡°How so?¡± The sheets rustled as she scooted her body closer to mine behind me, still leaving the slightest bit of space between us. ¡°I think she has this idea that I¡¯ve been with a lot of people ¨C partially because she was a virgin when we met, and partially because I like being confident around her. But really, Lily is the first woman I¡¯ve been in a serious rtionship with, and other than a couple of random hookups, I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing. I¡¯m sure Lily thinks I¡¯m some kind of yer after I let it slip that I owned more than one strap, but the only reason I do is because the first harness I bought was terrible¡­¡± Sophia giggled, ¡°Amber, I¡¯m not going to judge you for being inexperienced. This is technically my first serious rtionship, although I¡¯ve had my fun fooling around with women¡­ But regardless, I don¡¯t think you count as inexperienced, and even if you did, I¡¯d be happy to take the lead.¡± My heart jumped, skyrocketing my pulse in a sudden frenzy of anxiety. Letting her take the lead? I could never; witches never let someone behind their defenses. I sat with that thought for a moment. Shit¡­ How much control does my mother have over me? I thought she had let me be rtively independent, but¡­ Maybe now was the time to rebel away from my mother¡¯s teachings, make my own magic and be my own kind of witch. And the first ce to start with that was¡­ I leaned back into Sophia¡¯s body, letting her spoon me. Her arm snaked over my hip, curling around my torso possessively. It was scary and reassuring and erotic all at once, but the feelings remained separate for now, my mind scared of what would be left if they all coalesced. Sophia buried her face in the back of my hair and whispered through the dry strands, ¡°What do you need, Amber?¡± Part 3, Chapter 6.5 Part 3, Chapter 6.5 Amber ¡°What do you need, Amber?¡± Sophia asked,ying behind me with one arm draped over my side. ¡°I¡­ I want to experiment with something I wouldn¡¯t do with Lily.¡± ¡°Such as¡­?¡± Her hand slid from my front to my hip and stroked up and down. I clenched my eyes shut and pushed through my embarrassment. ¡°Maybe if you tied me up¡­ and spanked me a bit.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡± her tone gave nothing away about how interested she was, ¡°And why wouldn¡¯t you feelfortable doing that with Lily?¡± I rxed slightly. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s that I wouldn¡¯t befortable with it¡­ it¡¯s more that I like topping her, and I have no intentions of shaking that up.¡± ¡°And you¡¯re sure you want this? It¡¯s kind of intense for our first time.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t have to go super intense or anything,¡± my confidence flowed again once I was exining my reasoning, ¡°I think I just want to experience a loss of control right now, to let me feel like dealing with my mother isn¡¯t my responsibility for a minute.¡± Her hand moved to my thigh, drawing sensual circles with her dull fingernails as her voice grew more sly. ¡°Let me go find some rope, I think I actually have some¡­¡± she stood and bounced over to her closet, excited, ¡°And I¡¯m definitely kissing you when I get back, so prepare yourself for that.¡± I smiled. I¡¯m more than prepared. When Sophia made her way back to where Iy on her bed, nylon rope in her hand, a sense of calm washed over me. Rather than worrying about what we were about to do and how I might mess it up, I¡¯d epted that my fate was in Sophia¡¯s hands. It was up to her to take the initiative, and that was exactly what I needed. She ced the rope on her nightstand, an unremarkable piece of wood that was there when you needed it, but otherwise unnoticeable, and climbed back onto her bed, kneeling over me on all fours. We stared into each other¡¯s eyes, tension building just like every other time our gazes had met. My hands twitched at my sides. Am I supposed to be touching her? Does she want me to lean up to kiss her? Or should I be acting more like Lily? Oh god, I never showered after my morning run... Her hand came up to stroke my cheek. ¡°No thoughts allowed in that pretty little head of yours, okay?¡± I nodded and let myself sink into the bed, pressed down further when Sophia let her hips fall onto me, pressing her tight jeans into my exercise shorts. Then, she kissed me. It was gentle and tentative, her soft lips light on mine. If I¡¯d previously thought about what it would be like to kiss her ¨C that one time didn¡¯t count ¨C I would''ve thought that we would battle, both vying for domination, channeling our respective angst. Reality surprised me, as it often did, the discussion we¡¯d just hadpletely shifting our dynamic into uncharted territory. All because of that stupid letter¡­ Thank you Lily. She was impossibly tender with me, exerting barely enough force to be felt, but still undeniably in control. I tried to pick up the pace by bringing my hand behind her hips to explore and adding my tongue into the mix, but she easily circumvented my attempt, slowing the pace of her kisses down further and caressing down my front with a slow, deliberate touch. Her lingering kisses soon became little nibbles, and any semnce of me being a participant in my own pleasure went out the window as Iy there, giving my body up to be owned by her. My mouth hung slightly open, pants escaping, as she moved around my lips and face with her mouth, pecking and biting whatever caught her fancy. It started out normal enough, a bite on my bottom lip, a kiss on my cheek. Soon, however, after a wild passion had built in her eyes and the aroma of sweat and arousal mixed in the space between us, she licked up and down the sides of my face while holding it in ce, long possessive strokes that said I was hers to be consumed. Pov: you¡¯re a popsicle on a hot summer day¡­ A short, airy giggle escaped me at the thought, fueled further by the ticklish sensation of her warm, wet tongue running over my skin. Sophia straightened, her weight pressing into me where her hips straddled mine, and looked down on me with fulfillment in her slightly dted pupils. ¡°Now that¡¯s more like it. An empty head suits a¨C¡± She cut herself off with a shake of her head, ¡°We still need to talk about boundaries and safewords, if you still want to do this,¡± she gestured towards where the rope stilly. I closed my eyes for a moment, the cold air in the room making me all too aware of the wetness coating most of my face. I held back a sarcasticment, instead nodding silently. ¡°Okay,¡± She rolled her neck and refocused on me. ¡°Red or stop immediately halts what we¡¯re doing, either of us can say it at any time when we feel overwhelmed or ufortable.¡± She looked into my eyes, waiting to continue until I nodded. ¡°Use yellow if we want to take a breather or we want to discuss something outside of whatever role-y or dirty talk we¡¯re doing. And of course yes or green means everything is good, and you want to continue.¡± This time she wasn¡¯t satisfied with just a nod. ¡°The safeword is?¡± ¡°Red or stop,¡± I answered. ¡°Alright. Now what specifically do you want?¡± I took a second to gather my thoughts, reaching my hand up to wipe my face before thinking better of it. ¡°Um, so¡­ bondage: I¡¯m thinking you can tie up my wrists, like above my head using the headboard,¡± I gestured behind me, ¡°And as for hitting me, you can p me hard enough to make my skin red, but not enough to bruise ¨C and nothing blunt, ps only.¡± While she was thinking over my answer, another important piece of information popped into my head, ¡°Oh, and nothing on my head. Everywhere else is fair game though.¡± Her eyebrows raised for a moment, dropping as the corners of her mouth climbed, ¡°Hmm¡­ And what about other forms of pain? Can I choke you?¡± My body shivered under her gaze as she asked that, and it took a second for me to y it again in my head before I understood well enough to answer. ¡°Yes, but only gently; don¡¯t actually cut off my air.¡± She chuckled lightly, ¡°Alright,st check before we get the fun started: do you want me to be domineering too?¡± I couldn¡¯t stop my gaze from taking a trip up and down her body, lingering on the point where her hips stilly on mine. ¡°Yes.¡± She quickly got to work taking her shirt off, ¡°Let¡¯s get this started.¡± I followed suit, wiggling out of my top, and starting to mop up my sticky face with it. Sophia stopped me, however, holding on to my wrist. ¡°No. Leave it alone,¡± shemanded, grabbing my shirt from me and tossing it across the room. I simply stared at her, biting my bottom lip; I didn''t have a response to give. Our game began with a simple move from her, gathering my wrists together, crossed above my head, and holding them down with one of her hands while she used the other to peel off my sports bra. It was certainly an inefficient way to undress me, without my cooperation and with only one of her hands, but that was part of the point, wasn¡¯t it? It was the fact that even as she was doing something awkward and clumsy, her eyes remained focused on mine without a hint of uncertainty. It was the way her weight pressed into me, making me genuinely unsure if I could escape by force. And, most importantly, it was the fact that I could feel every instinct in me rebelling, telling me not to let myself be vulnerable, to always keep an ace in my back pocket ¨C but I refused to listen. Sophia leaned back and towered over my panting, topless form, appreciating the view she¡¯d uncovered. ¡°Wow, look at how worked up you are¡­ I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯ll even have to touch you,¡± she smirked. ¡°Yellow,¡± Iughed, shaking my head, ¡°I¡¯m not Lily; that¡¯s not doing it for me.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she tilted her head, ¡°Is there something you¡¯d prefer?¡± I sighed, forcing myself to be honest with her, as hard as it was. ¡°I think the opposite would work better¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t stop herself from smirking again, ¡°Oh, you want me to praise you. That¡¯s not a big ask, you have plenty to praise¡­¡± she leaned forward, her handsnding on the bottom of my ribcage with a light stereo p before sliding up to squeeze my breasts, ¡°You¡¯re so unbelievably sexy, Amber¡­ Our girlfriend is a literal shapeshifting sex demon, and I still couldn¡¯t help myself from noticing you¡­¡± A feeling of rightness filled me, mixing with little hits of euphoria as I took in her words. I wanted to tell her that she had the right idea, knowing it was important tomunicate well, but I squirmed in ce instead, my head turning back and forth to avoid Sophia¡¯s gaze for moments at a time. She got the message anyway, drinking in my obvious pleasure with mirth. ¡°And you¡¯re keeping your hands above your head, what a good girl¡­ Does my good girl want to be rewarded for behaving?¡± I nodded, bucking my hips into hers to make it clear what I wanted. Sophia rolled her hips into me right back, maintaining her assault on my chest, hands squeezing and groping, barely giving my nipples enough incidental attention to bring me any real pleasure. ¡°Hmm, watching such a powerful womane undone will be its own treat to me¡­ But don¡¯t think you can escape being spanked just by being pretty ¨C if anything it only makes me want to do it more.¡± She let off her pressure and got off me, standing to wiggle out of her jeans. A smirk danced across her face when she saw me watching her rather than worrying about undressing myself ¨C it didn¡¯t need to be said that I was supposed to wait for her to do it for me. Once her curves werepletely unrestrained ¨C and thoroughly appreciated by my gaze ¨C she turned her attention to the rope, picking it up and ying with the tangles in her hand. ¡°You¡¯re sure you want this?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I answered, no doubt in my voice. As fun as holding myself in the position was, I didn¡¯t just want to feel submissive, I wanted to feel trapped ¨C without control or power. She began sliding the sleek ck cable through the headboard, looping it over once and acting with a detached calm that I couldn¡¯t match as my heart rate slowly climbed. When it came time to secure my wrists, she slipped the cord around me, wrapping it around each limb individually before tying a loose bow with more than enough room for me to wiggle around. The feeling of the material on my skin was prominent, demanding to be noticed and analyzed. The sensation itself was soft and dry, with the slightest hint of itchiness pricking at me. What was more important, however, and what was demanding my attention, was the sudden feeling that I couldn¡¯t bring my arms down to cover myself. Before, it had been a choice, and while it still technically was ¨C given that I could always use the safeword ¨C the physicality of my loss of control was striking. While I was mulling over my position, Sophia was getting ready to continue. She was kneeling to the side of my hips, facing my body, eyes focused on mine. ¡°You okay? It¡¯s not too tight, right?¡± ¡°It¡¯s good, thank you,¡± I said shyly. Thanking Sophia for tying me up, what is my lifeing to? She gave me another satisfied smile, before grabbing either side of my exercise shorts and slowly tugging them down. Having an attractive woman undress me was already something that I enjoyed, the way the stic waistband clung to my skin, caressing down my legs as her eyes drank in the newly exposed flesh. Something that added to that experience, shifted and warped it into something new, was the fact that I wasunable to participate. My hips wiggled and bucked involuntarily as Sophia¡¯s fingertips dragged down, my whole body tingling and my brain fighting between satisfaction and vulnerability. I was exposed, not even hidden by the grace of motion because of the simple fact that I couldn¡¯t move. Sophia could see the harsh tan line on my upper thigh, the scar on my outer hip where I¡¯d been bitten by a chimera, and, if she lifted my legs, she would see the splotchy birthmark on the underside of my thigh. It was all in her control. I was in her control. And she was not afraid to use that control. She slipped my underwear off with much less ceremony, tossing them across the room to join my shirt, and kneeled in front of my exposed sex, running her hands up and down my inner thighs. ¡°I want you on your front, with your ass up. I have ns for it.¡± I listened, thankful that there was enough ck in the rope to twist my wrists over without the kink being ufortable. Before I couldy my front down, I tried to scoot a pillow for me toy on with my elbows, but I couldn¡¯t without the precision of my hands. Sophia helped, reaching over to position me how she wanted, and petting the top of my head as I rested it on the pillow, my ass propped up by my knees like she¡¯d asked. My head was turned to the side, so I could see what was happening behind me as she ran her hands down my body and lined herself up with me as if she was about to enter me from behind. ¡°Don¡¯t you think we fit together like this surprisingly well? It¡¯s just¡­¡± her hands grabbed either side of my hips and thrust forward, pping her flesh against mine, ¡°so perfect,¡± she finished. I groaned, turning my mouth so it was somewhat muffled by the pillow. I wasn¡¯t sure how thin the walls of her dorm were, but I didn¡¯t want to make it too obvious what was going on inside. One of her hands caressed my asscheek, ying with the firm, yet pliable muscle. ¡°I think I¡¯ll start here¡­¡± One warning tap was all I got before, after a short pause, her hand came back down on me, sound reverberating through the surroundings and rocking my body forward. Hot pain radiated out from below, stinging and burning in equal parts. A momentter the cool air started to set in, chilling the outermost skin while the lingering warmth radiated inwards. Honestly, I hadn¡¯t figured out why I¡¯d asked for Sophia to hit me ¨C at least not with the same confidence as with the bondage. With being tied up, it was clear to me that my concern was with control; I wanted Sophia to have control over me, for me to be powerless. And maybe I could im that being spanked was an extension of that, a demonstration of her power over me, but that exnation felt iplete. It also left out why I was so hungry for praise, why I preened and squirmed under her reverent gaze, why I¡¯d asked for something other than her topping me without any kinky stuff in the first ce. Why did I want her approval? Why did I want her to im me, to exercise her power over me in a controlling and almost violent fashion? I decided to leave those questions unanswered for now, confident in the knowledge that I wouldn¡¯t like the answers. Thankfully Sophia was satisfied with my blissed out smile as confirmation to continue, and struck my other side, clearing all of the worries out of my head. This time, I was already somewhat numb to the pain and shock, better able to focus on the rippling of my flesh and my building arousal, which took form as a tingling heat spreading across my body to linger just under my skin at every joint and limb. I let out a dyed moan, partially to express how much I was enjoying myself and partially to let out the built up tension of the situation, my mind already on a different kind of release I desperately needed. The rope tensed on my outer wrists as I instinctually pulled my hands apart, trying to grasp out for stability. The unignorable reminder of my restraints caused another wave of nervous energy to burst in me, overwhelming my senses. ¡°Fuck me,¡± I hissed, turning my head past the pillow. ¡°It¡¯d be my pleasure,¡± she purred in response, brushing her fingertips between my legs, drawing both of our attention to the wetness pooling there. In response to an enthusiastically moaned ¡®yes¡¯ from me, two of her fingers thrust deeper, stirring pleasure inside me and threatening the stability of my knees, which were still propping up my hips, if a bit tenuously. Thankfully, Sophia saw thising, and as her digits entered me, she was bending over my body and using her other arm to support me from below, pressing her breasts into my bare back. Another tug at the rope ¨C this one downward as my body tried to throw itself onto Sophia¡¯s hand ¨C reminded me of my situation, frustrating and exciting me all at once. She whispered, ¡°God, you¡¯re even more beautiful when you give yourself up to me ande apart on my hand.¡± Her face wasn¡¯t quite buried in my hair given how tall I was, but it was close enough for her teasing to be plenty effective, eliciting a high whine out of me. God, I really do sound like Lily right now. I hope I¡¯ll still be able to top her when shees back¡­ Thoughts of my girlfriend (my other girlfriend?) were quickly blown out of my mind by Sophia¡¯s two thrusting fingers, quickly joined by a third. Euphoria pulsed through me, fogging my head and my senses, excitement and passion building in me with a rising rhythm threatening to reach a crescendo. ¡°Hit me,¡± I hissed, desperate to feel more, to exorcize theplicated emotions I had deep inside me, long calcified by years of repression. Just as I was thinking she didn¡¯t hear me, Sophia responded with, ¡°Where?¡± I resisted the urge to say I didn¡¯t care, knowing it wouldn¡¯t be productive. ¡°Back,¡± I said. After a brief hesitation, the strike came, a little blunt for my tastes, ringing through the side of my upper back, but it felt better than ever nheless, mixing with the pleasurable squelching between my legs. When I¡¯d first given my body up to Sophia, simply letting her hold me from behind, I¡¯d noticed the way my apprehension, arousal, and affirmation had all remained distinct sensations. Now, however, I was left with the capacity to feel only one emotion, my focus eradicated along with any nuance in the situation I could¡¯ve appreciated. Part of me wanted to call that which I was feeling horniness, to reduce it to the base urges of sex, but, even without the ability to appreciate the multifaceted nature of my feelings, it was clear that was a cowardly mischaracterization. The truth was closer to liberation, and while that did epass sexual liberation, it was more important for me to recognize the self-determination aspect of it. All of that was to say that when I screamed ¡°Harder,¡± at Sophia, it was an expression of that feeling, an expression of my frustration at having been controlled and deceived for so long. It shouldn¡¯t be a surprise things didn¡¯t exactly go well from there. Shock and pain rolled through my delirious mind, and in my almost drunken stupor it took me a few moments to even piece together what had happened. In the seconds after Sophia¡¯s second strike to my back, I registered the fact that I wasying t on the bed ¨C my hips having fallen ¨C that Sophia¡¯s hand had fallen out of me, leaving me twitching and pent-up, and our dual panting breaths filling the still silence that filled the room. I tugged at my restraints yet again as I spun around toy on my back, this time more annoyed at them than anything. My gaze drilled into Sophia¡¯s wide panicked eyes. ¡°Fuck. Do it again,¡± I moaned,pletely oblivious to her distress. She shook her head, blinking her apprehension away. ¡°No. This is going too far.¡± I pulled against the rope, my body squirming and unfulfilled on her mattress, ¡°Please just hit me¡­¡± ¡°Amber, stop. I¡¯m notfortable with this,¡± her body finally began moving, crawling around me towards my hands, ¡°Let me get you undone and we can talk about this.¡± I let out a wordless yell, bucking my hips and pulling at the headboard. ¡°Sophia, I need¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t finish; I didn¡¯t know what I needed. Did I need toe? Was it really necessary for Sophia to strike me again? Did I want to be let free? In truth, I think there was nothing that could¡¯ve satisfied me in that moment, no sensation physical, emotional, or sexual could¡¯ve provided what I was looking for. Sophia fumbled against the tightened knot, struggling to get it open, the tension and movement I was providing not helping. ¡°Fuck, Amber. Sit still!¡± I pulled harder, as if that would get my hands free so she could just leave me alone. Contrary to my expectations, she did leave me alone, getting off the bed with another curse, and frantically searching through her desk while I continued panting and fidgeting. She finally came back a couple dozen secondster with a long pair of scissors in her hands. She leaned over my panicking form and managed to snip me away from the headboard without cutting me, although my wrists remained stuck together. ¡°Are you okay?¡± she asked, worried look on her face, as I rolled over and sat up, panting with wide eyes. My mind, which had been impossibly chaotic until that point, emptied, no goal beyond escaping my bondage left to achieve. ¡°What are you upset about, Amber? Let me have it,¡± Sophia beckoned. ¡°I¡­¡± I blinked, my gaze falling to my still-bound wrists and the rest of the empty mattress in front of me, sheets distressed and damp from our antics. Shame creeped in as my high dissipated. ¡®I did it again¡­¡¯ I thought, but I didn¡¯t know where to start with apologizing. I let myself fall over,ying on my side facing Sophia, my wrists in front of me. ¡°Amber?¡± She stepped towards the bed again, reaching a hand out towards my limp form. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡°What? I¨C¡± she climbed onto the bed toy in front of me, and set about untwisting the remaining binding around my hands. ¡°I¡¯m not mad at you, Amber. We went a bit further than we should¡¯ve for our first time, especially given everything else going on, and that blew up on us, but that¡¯s okay.¡± I surrendered my hands to her, watching as she carefully picked at the remaining knot. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry anyways. I just feel so¡­ I don¡¯t know, overwhelmed?¡± My eyes darted up to hers, which were still fixated on solving the mess I¡¯d gotten myself in, ¡°Why aren¡¯t you mad at me? I don¡¯t get it,¡± I finished, confusion permeating my voice. ¡°You¡¯re hurting,¡± she said gently, finally freeing my wrists, ¡°It doesn¡¯t feel good for you to take that out on me, and maybe if it had been more like what had happened between you and Lily I would be more upset right now, but all I can see in your actions is that you¡¯re afraid, and me trying to ¡®punish¡¯ you for that isn¡¯t productive.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt you Sophia¡­¡± ¡°Then learn. You have the chance to change, to right your wrongs.¡± I sighed, reaching across the space between us to hold her. ¡°Okay¡­¡± I knew I still had a long way to go trying to unlearn half of what I¡¯d done so far in my life. ¡°Are we okay? Do you still want to try with me?¡± She smirked, ¡°It¡¯s going to take more than some kinky sex gone awry to scare me away babe,¡± our bodies embraced, the tension finally dissipating, ¡°And you owe me a few dates, we need some good stories to tell Lily.¡± I chuckled, rxing into her naked body that I was disappointedly going to have to wait to explore. Sleep soon overtook us both, leading me into confused dreams of endlessly searching for Sophia and Lily so I could apologize to them. Part 3, Chapter 7 Part 3, Chapter 7 Lily It turned out that the short range portal we¡¯d used earlier wasn¡¯t the only magical public transportation avable in hell. Kelith exined to me a bit how thework worked, and she said that the one we used was short range, and could take you anywhere that wasn¡¯t teleportation protected, such as the insides of other magical beings ¨C the rare humans in Hell had to wear protection against teleportation idents. What this meant was, for a small magic energy tax, my mother would be using a more powerful portal toe visit ¨C in less than an hour from now. I paced around the room Katie and I were staying in, nervous energy building in me. Although I¡¯d grown more confident in my months as a demon, I¡¯d funneled most of that confidence towards being flirty towards my girlfriends, leaving me woefully unequipped in this situation. It¡¯d been a day since I found out my mother was alive, and I hadn¡¯t spoken to Edith at all. The four of us had had dinner together, but Edith had remained silent, and I didn¡¯t know whether I was thankful for that or felt bad about it. Katie had been in the bathroom, trying to manifest the perfect outfit using advice Kelith had given herst night. When joined me in our room, showing off her frayed denim(?) short-shorts and her tube top, I felt a deep kinship with Amber, stifling the urge to make ament about how revealing her outfit was. Instead, I eyed it curiously, trying to figure out what it was supposed to be made of. I thought the shorts were denim, but it was impossible to tell, on ount of the fact that her outfit was swirling and pulsing between orange, purple, pink, and white. ¡°I see you¡¯re taking to demon fashion rather quickly¡­¡± Somehow, Katie¡¯s antics had gotten me to stop my pacing for a moment. She looked down at herself with a satisfied grin, ¡°Yea, I figured I wouldn¡¯t get to do this on earth so¡­¡± A strange thought popped in my head. ¡°What¡¯s stopping us from doing magic in public around humans anyways?¡± ¡°Well for me it would hurt the coven ¨C draw the attention of more people and we¡¯d get crushed by opportunistic scavengers, as Mom would put it. For people like you ¨C independents that is ¨C I think it¡¯s just the danger of it. There¡¯s what, like six people that know you¡¯re a demon, and you¡¯ve already got someone after you?¡± ¡°Maybe we should organize for rights¡­¡± I muttered. She either ignored me or didn¡¯t hear, eyeing my outfit. ¡°So that¡¯s what you¡¯re wearing?¡± I twirled, showing off a near copy of the white dress I¡¯d worn to church. This version was morefortable ¨C partially due to the supernaturally soft fabric and partially to the fit being better ¨C but also had more frills, ruffles and superfluous bits ofce strewn about. It was indulgent and extravagant, and I¡¯d paired it with a tan wide-brimmed hat and casual strappy sandals to dress it down a bit. ¡°It looks like a wedding dress,¡± Katie deadpanned. I froze, stopping myself from doing a second twirl. ¡°What? No, it barely goes to my calf ¨C wedding dresses are way longer.¡± ¡°Yea, maybe in the fifties¡­¡± I red at her, shifting my dress to pure ck and my essories from a light tan to a darker brown. ¡°There, are you happy?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She walked in a circle around me, expression intently focused. ¡°Maybe try a dark blue for thece and ck for the essories ¨C it''ll make your eyes really pop.¡± I did as she said, wondering why I was listening to someone that was dressed like a walking sunset. To my surprise, I did like the way the bluece looked, although I didn¡¯t have a mirror to see if she was right about my eyes. Katie pped her hands, shaking me out of my contemtion. ¡°Alright, it¡¯s time to leave!¡± She grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the room, ignoring my protests. I¡¯m not ready for this¡­ Amber I woke up in Sophia¡¯s bed, sore and lethargic, to the sound of a measured series of knocks on her door. It¡¯s too early for this¡­ I didn¡¯t actually know what time it was, it could¡¯ve been noon for all my drained mind knew, but regardless, I didn¡¯t want to deal with it. Unfortunately, another series of knocks rang out, and, given that I¡¯d ended upying on top of Sophia, I was in a better position to answer it. I grumbled under my breath and threw on a shirt and shorts from the floor, not caring if they were mine or if they were on backwards or inside-out. I opened the door with a yawn, only to freeze when I saw who was standing outside. What the fuck is my mom doing here? I mmed the door shut, my heart pounding in my chest as I fumbled with the lock, desperately scrambling for how to handle the situation. She¡¯s the better mage by far ¨C I¡¯ve never been able to match her demonstrations ¨C so a direct confrontation is pretty much the worst-case scenario. Running away isn¡¯t really feasible without some kind of teleportation spell, something I definitely don¡¯t have the knowledge, skill or power to pull off. Deception is probably out the window; if she¡¯s here she must be onto something, even if she doesn''t have the full picture. Mundane weapons are probably my best bet, especially if I can rig some kind of trap by making¨C My thoughts were cut off by my mother¡¯s calm tone piercing the thin door between us, ¡°Amber, I would like to talk to you about something important, please just open the door.¡± ¡°...¡± ¡°We both know I can get in there easily if I want to, and neither of us wants to deal with the attention that would draw.¡± Sophia groaned, sitting up and shooting me a bleary and confused look. ¡°That¡¯s my mom,¡± I shout-whispered across the room, causing her eyes to widen and her body to stiffen. I turned my attention back to the door. I knew my mom was right; it would be trivial for her to break it down. But, it would provide a few seconds of nning, and if I waited for the right moment¡­ I opened the door right as she was getting ready to knock again, and smugly stared at her fist hanging where the door had just been. It didn¡¯t matter in the grand scheme of things ¨C if she wanted to st me with a fireball, she still could ¨C but at least I had outyed her in one tiny way. She cleared her throat. ¡°Come with me ¨C we have much to discuss.¡± I crossed my arms, firmly nting myself. Her eyes rolled and she scoffed, ¡°We¡¯ll stay in public ces and if you want to choose the venue for our discussion, you may ¨C as long as it is reasonable.¡± She¡¯s not even pretending we¡¯re not a breath away from fighting. Those are things she¡¯d already told me to think about ¨C but she also told me that if someone wanted me dead, being in public wouldn¡¯t matter. It really was the ultimate flex on her part that every one of my analyses of her schemes originally came out of her mouth. ¡°Fine, but shees too. And give us a minute to get dressed.¡± I gestured behind me towards the bed. My mother¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°She¡¯s human?¡± At my nod she continued, ¡°Fine, then, I¡¯ll be waiting in front of the building. Leave by an exit other than the front and I won¡¯t knock next time.¡± And she strode off. ¡°What a bitch¡­¡± Sophia whispered from across the room. For once, I was inclined to agree. Lily The walk over to the restaurant to meet my mother was uneventful, everyone having their own reasons for remaining silent. Kelith, the one with the least reason out of us, tried to get a conversation started a couple of times, but it fizzled without a partner to talk to. Strangely, my mind was fixated on the idea of a demon restaurant, wondering what they would serve, rather than trying to worry about my mother. I¡¯d been thinking about Mom for twenty years, but the idea of being in Hell had only floated by me a few dozen minutes beforeing here, so I was taken in by the novelty of the culture. Partially continuing my train of thought about demon culture and partially taking pity on Kelith, who looked particrly affected by the awkward atmosphere, I shot her a question. ¡°Howe everyone¡¯s so friendly here?¡± A group of three women, one of them wearing a metallic prosthesis recing an absent forearm and hand, walked by and waved at me, illustrating my point. Kelith perked up, always happy to lore-dump at me, ¡°I¡¯m not sure what humans are like to each other, but yes, people are generally kind to strangers. Why wouldn¡¯t they be?¡¯ she shook her head, ¡°There¡¯s another part of it though, and probably a better answer to what you¡¯re asking about: people are especially kind to younger concubi.¡± ¡°What? Why? Concubi?¡± ¡°Subi and incubi collectively,¡± she exined, ¡°And the reason is because concubi are especially dependent on their magic energy, so it¡¯s customary formunities to collectively dote on them to help give little bits of energy.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± I blinked, trying to process the fact that I was the equivalent of a pet shared by a neighborhood, to be fed by whoever felt like it and showered with affection by everyone. Feels kinda nice¡­ ¡°Oh, time to do my Lily impression!¡± Katie interjected. She cleared her throat, ¡°Something something raise a vige?¡± ¡°...¡± ¡°Did I do it right?¡± She shed a wide grin, small fangs on full disy. I rolled my eyes, ¡°No, it would be ¡®something something vige child,¡¯ duh.¡± After that short burst, silence settled between us again, a force constantly fighting against the ambient noise around us ¨C the passing conversations, the asional chirp of a bird, and the clink of porcin and silverware as we passed a cafe with outdoor seating. Again unable to let it remain quiet, I asked another question, ¡°Edith, what¡¯s my Mom like?¡± She let out a relieved sigh, smiling as she thought about her wife, ¡°Oh, she¡¯s lovely ¨C she¡¯s kind-hearted and fragile, the kind of woman you can¡¯t help but want to cherish and protect,¡± sheughed, ¡°She can be a bit of an airhead sometimes¨C¡± Katie snorted, covering her mouth with her palm. ¡°But she¡¯s just so cute. Zamira is energetic and enthusiastic and I love her so much,¡± Kelith finished. ¡°Huh,¡± I let out, ¡°Thanks.¡± My mind was already elsewhere, trying to reconcile yet another differing opinion on what my mother was like. Unfortunately, my thoughts were interrupted before I could decide how I felt. Kelith stopped and turned to face the building next to us. ¡°We¡¯re here kids.¡± All at once, my nervous energy came back, and this time, I didn¡¯t think Katie¡¯s antics would be enough to make it go away. Amber After a tense discussion with Sophia, where I exined to her in no uncertain terms that in an emergency she should save herself and not look back, not even bothering to call the police for help ¨C what could they even do? She was there for moral and intellectual support ¨C not to fling spells. I still had a long way to go, getting over my stubborn pride, but one of my first steps was admitting that yes, Sophia was smarter than me, knew more about ¡®magic runes¡¯ than me, and of course, I found her all the more attractive for it. I¡¯d said as much to her as we left her dorm room ¨C knowing we still needed to assuage each of our uncertainties when it came to ourplicated rtionship ¨C and she¡¯d responded with a covered smile and a barely noticeable blush. Mission sessful. Anyways, we made our way to where my mother was waiting, funny business not being worth it in the slightest. We were slightly dyed by one of Sophia¡¯s dormmates asking if we had a lighter ¨C what kind of person smoked at¡­ whatever time it was? ¨C but soon we were in the presence of the bitch, as Sophia put it. She was noticeably shorter than she usually appeared,ing up inches below both of us, but still standing with regal posture. ¡°Have you decided on a reasonable venue?¡± she asked, managing to sound both disinterested and annoyed at the same time. Where is the woman that nned my birthday parties ¨C that raised twenty-seven girls? I nodded, telling her about the pizza ce Sophia and I had met in after I¡¯d gotten spooked on my run. I still didn¡¯t know if my fear had been justified back then, nor did I know what my mom wanted with me right now. Silence permeated the space around us as we walked to our destination, the few people we passed on the dirty, cracked sidewalk sensing the tension in the air and halting their conversations as they walked by. My mother strode ahead, her old, heavy-set body not showing in her quick, purposeful movements. Sophia and I had to hurry to keep up, and by the time we entered the chain restaurant, I was forcing myself to breathe slowly, trying to hide how the speed-walking had raised my heart rate. We sat at the tacky booth, the bright colors shing with my mother¡¯s elegant draping fabrics and the tension between us. She rushed us through ordering, me and Sophia getting a veggie pizza to share, and her getting a calzone ¨C something I didn¡¯t even know this ce offered. Sophia¡¯s hand grabbed mine under the table, squeezing in reassurement as my mother started across from us. ¡°Let¡¯s cut the bullshit,¡± she bulldozed through my shock at her frankness, ¡°I know she¡¯s not dead, you know I know she¡¯s not dead, so let¡¯s talk about why she¡¯s not dead.¡± I remained silent, unable to decide between agreeing and questioning what she knew or why she¡¯d gone from talking about me ying her customer¡¯s ¡®son¡¯ to talking about Lily with ¡®she¡¯. She continued, taking my silence as agreement, ¡°My previous strategy of giving you what you needed to seed and letting you have freedom clearly failed. But I don¡¯t want to give up on you, my daughter,¡± she leaned back, folding her hands on the table in front of her, ¡°Let me tell you a story about a more naive version of me, and my sister, Zamira Victory ¨C from before I changed my name.¡± I stared, unfazed. The only meaning the name held for me was in the author of my demon textbooks, who shared the samest name. It was somewhat surprising that my mother could be Scarlet, but hardly Earth-shattering. Sophia, on the other hand, tilted her head with narrowed eyes, as if the name had rung a distant bell. ¡°See, you probably have this vision of me as a long-standing demon hunter, fighting the eternal war against the darkness until my brittle bones fail me,¡± she scoffed, ¡°But in reality, I am more powerful than I¡¯ve ever been, and, while I have been killing demons for a very long time, I was once close to some as well. Some, like my sister, Zamira,¡± she held up a finger, and it shifted before our eyes to red skin with a ck fingernail ¨C no magic circle, no spell materials, just raw force of will. At that moment, I finally understood how fucked I was. Part 3, Chapter 8 Part 3, Chapter 8 Lily We stepped into the restaurant and I was immediately overwhelmed. There was the server greeting us, a dark green skinned demon that was athletically androgynous ¨C their chest being right on the line betweening across as pecs and as breasts, their face being intimidatingly sharp, and their silhouette daring me to try to put them into human categories. Then there was the restaurant itself. The room was styled after the inside of a cave, the moody lighting aplished by magic candles scattered across the dimly lit grey walls. The tables were yellow wood, but were much, much thicker than I¡¯d have expected, giving my Earthian sensibilities a Viking vibe. Each circr table had its own cubby hole in the wall, with a stone ¨C or faux stone, I couldn¡¯t tell ¨C bench curving around it. Last was the people inhabiting the room. Thankfully, I didn¡¯t see my mother yet, something that would¡¯ve surely driven my overstimted mind over the edge, but what I did see wasn¡¯t much easier toprehend. Each of the upied tables were stuffed to the brim with guests and unrecognizable food, the jovial energy of them contained by some kind of magic, maintaining the refined atmosphere in the main restaurant, although they were still barely audible. Our server took us to a table, swishing their thin, furry tail behind them as they walked. I sat huddled up against Katie on one side and open space on my other, while Katie was next to Kelith and Edith. I nodded along to everyone else asking for water, and hesitantly examined one of the waxy paper menus in front of us. What in the Hell is a ghoul sandwich? Or a foxtail? I stared, utterly baffled, at the foreign items in front of me. While my magicalnguageprehension helped for words and ideas I already understood, it didn¡¯t provide much context to things I didn¡¯t. Katie, just as confused, turned to the other two, ¡°Is this supposed to be a Halloween themed restaurant?¡± ¡°What¡¯s Hallo¨C¡± Kelith¡¯s question was interrupted by everyone¡¯s focus shifting to a neer. At first, out of the corner of my eye, I¡¯d thought that a different server was there to ask us if we were ready to order, but after I saw everyone else¡¯s expectant stares, I turned to reevaluate. My mother was almost identical to me. She had the same colorations as I did, except that her skin was just a tinge bluer, her eyes a shade pinker, and her hair lighter. She shared my shorter, curvier stature, but while I wore my body with a reserved shyness, she had all of the confidence and maturity I didn¡¯t. Her horns were also much longer, curling almost a full hand-length up behind her head, to the point where I wondered if she ever identally hit things on them. She wore a ck dress, but where mine was frilly andcy, hers was in and soft, the high neckline and short length covering more skin than the majority of demons I¡¯d seen around town, but still being well outside myfort zone for politepany. Her mouth was hanging open, revealing her pointed fangs as she stared at me in disbelief. ¡°Is that really you? My¨C my child?¡± When I slowly nodded, she picked me up out of the booth in a sh of movement, hugging me tightly and letting my shoes dangle off the ground. ¡°Oh, my baby!¡± She turned back and forth, shaking and squeezing my dazed form. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, sweetie, I didn¡¯t know¡­¡± When she finally put me back down, I stared up at her crying face, realizing she was ever so slightly taller than me, blinking away my confusion. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I¡¯d forgotten in the surprise of the initial reveal, but Edith had said something simr when we¡¯d first met. My mother wiped her tears, patted me on the head, and faced our table, where the other three were watching us intently. ¡°Just a second Lil, why don¡¯t you introduce me to your sister before we get into the more unpleasant topics.¡± ¡°Um, this is Katie, my little sister.¡± I didn¡¯t know what else to say. ¡°Hmm. Do you want a hug too Katie?¡± Zamira watched an exchange of looks between Katie and I before weing Katie into her arms, hugging her with moreposure, but no less enthusiasm, ¡°So are you two half-sisters?¡± she eyed Katie hesitantly. I shook my head, clinging close to Katie as she was released. ¡°She¡¯s my girlfriend¡¯s little sister.¡± ¡°We¡¯re all adopted anyways,¡± Katie rified, ¡°None of us are rted to our mom.¡± We sat back down, me sandwiched between Katie and Mom, and Edith moving to our side of the table to sit by her wife. Both of my seat-neighbors stayed close to me as Zamira exchanged greetings with her wife and mother-inw, before it was finally time for some answers. ¡°So,¡± Mom started, ¡°When I left the human world ¨C and I¡¯ll exin that in a minute ¨C I thought I was leaving behind my maniptive sister, a husband that despised me, and my human child. It¡¯s rare for demons to be born to demon-human couples on earth, just as it''s rare for humans to be born the same way in Hell ¨C not to mention how hard it is for demons to get pregnant in the first ce. If I¡¯d have known¡­¡± Another round of tears escaped her, and Edith handed her a handkerchief, doting on Zamira with an abundance of concern. ¡°Oh,¡± I let out. That¡¯s it? Difort swirled in my stomach as my thoughts stuttered, unable to fixatepletely on my mother¡¯s sadness or my own feelings about the new information. Would it be weird to hug her? I don¡¯t really know her at all, even if we look identical. How am I supposed to feel about that? I already decided that her reason for leaving doesn¡¯t matter at the end of the day, so it¡¯s not important whether she was justified or not, although I still don¡¯t understand why she left in the first ce. But I should forgive her, right? As silly as it is to follow the teachings of Jesus as a demon in Hell, I still feel that it¡¯s the right thing to forgive her. It¡¯s just¡­ I really wish that logic worked on this horrible tightness in my chest. Katie stepped in with her own question, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you evere back to check on her?¡± After Mom wiped her tears and blew her nose, she was finally ready to begin again, delivering with an even tone despite the pain still in her expression. ¡°I¡¯ll get there, I promise. Let me start from the beginning,¡± she sighed, resting her hand on Edith¡¯s on the table, ¡°When my sister was banished from Hell¡­¡± Amber ¡°It all began when I was banished from Hell.¡± That was how my mother started her story, leaning over the brightly coloured table with her elbows propping up her sped hands. Sophia and I watched her closely, hand-in-hand under the table, desperate for information and wary of trickery. She continued, ¡°Let¡¯s just say that after what happened in Hell I was no stranger to violence, and when I came to Earth, vengeful and full of magic, the supernatural underbelly of this city was an open yground.¡± Our waitress returned with our food, and for the briefest moment I saw a look of disdain on my mother¡¯s face before it morphed back to her usual impassive stare, skipping all of the motion in between. ¡°As I was saying, I made a name for myself, utilizing my magic to amass power, and starting my research on ways to return home.¡± At our wide eyes, she huffed a bitterugh, no amusement in her expression, ¡°Yes, I was ambitious back then. But, of course, I know better now and I have no intentions to return ¨C I¡¯ve found everything I need in our coven,¡± she let out a small smile. A shiver washed over me, and I had to consciously unclench my hand from Sophia¡¯s to avoid hurting her. ¡°So eventually, my little sister came to visit to lecture me on morality and rub in my face how free she was, not being banished and all.¡± Despite theck of emotiveness, a scoff still came through. I nced down at the cooling pizza, wondering if it would somehow be inappropriate to start eating. My mother continued,pletely ignoring her meal, ¡°Little Zamira stayed for a while, flittering around and aplishing nothing but annoying me, eventually shacking up with a human of all things ¨C and that¡¯s when I had a breakthrough in my research¡­¡± Lily ¡°I¡¯d been there a while, but no matter what I said, Scarlet just wouldn¡¯t budge,¡± Mom sighed, exasperated at the memory of her older sister. I nced across the room at our server, wondering if the sizzling dish they were carrying was my meal. They strode by on their way to another table. I¡¯m so confused; I have no idea what my aunt has to do with Mom leaving me behind. ¡°But at some point, while I was spending time among humans, I met your father, and¡­¡± Her eyes scrunched shut and she leaned back, supported by Edith. Edith whispered in her ear, but Mom shook her head, continuing after a deep breath. ¡°It was nice, at first ¨C we really hit it off. He was so nice and respectful, always talking about loving your neighbor and forgiveness ¨C he was like a demon stuck in a human¡¯s body.¡± I hid my skeptical expression. It was clear that she knew better now, but the idea that she¡¯d ever thought he was¡­ I guess I¡¯m no better; I listened to him for twenty years. ¡°I guess I might¡¯ve rushed things ¨C humans just have such short lives ¨C and suddenly, instead of focusing on my sister, I was married and pregnant,¡± her face was long, zed eyes on the table trying to recapture what had been lost, ¡°I¡¯d kept my nature hidden from him as a reflex ¨C the first thing you¡¯re told when you¡¯re getting ready to travel to visit humans is to never reveal yourself ¨C but, well¡­ you¡¯ll understand if you¡¯re ever pregnant.¡± I blinked. Oh, yea, almost forgot that was a thing. ¡°So I told him, and at first he was just shocked, he needed time to take it all in, but even after I gave him that time, things weren¡¯t the same. He didn¡¯t trust me, interrogated me anytime I¡¯d been out of his sight ¨C it was like he¡¯de back as apletely different person.¡± She took a moment to blow her nose again and our server returned, finally revealing what Kelith had ordered for me. I stared at the bowl in front of me, the clear ss not obscuring the lumpy sludge in the slightest. It was a grey mess with chunks of unidentifiable food(?) of various textures strewn about. I couldn¡¯t tell if it was supposed to be porridge, soup, or some kind of meat in sauce. ¡°Uhh¡­¡± My mother, not even noticing our food hade, continued, ¡°Raising you was so hard¡­¡± Amber ¡°And if she made a single round-trip to Hell, I would¡¯ve had everything I needed toplete my project. Her marriage was already falling apart because of course it was, so I suggested she should take a vacation back home to get some much needed rest, but she was uncharacteristically stubborn,¡± my mother¡¯s eyes lit up with momentary irritation, ¡°until that fool approached me again, this time asking me to exorcize the demon possessing his wife.¡± I munched on my pizza using my one avable hand, eying Sophia out of the corner of my vision. She wasn¡¯t eating, instead facing forwards with a wide-eyed stare. I scooted closer to her, trying tofort her as my mother continued. ¡°When I revealed that, she finally listened to me, making preparations to leave. Of course, I needed to make sure she returned or it would all be for naught, and of course, she wouldn¡¯t ever bother returning for me, so I told her I¡¯d get her husband toe around, and she could return to her happy life.¡± Sophia broke out of her stupor and nudged me, whispering in my ear, ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure Zamira is Lily¡¯s mom¡­¡± I spit out the pizza in my mouth, hunching over and coughing into my fist. What?!!? I turned to eye Sophia usatorily, not sure if I was asking if she was serious or why she hadn¡¯t told me sooner. I shoved the distant implications of the information to the back of my mind, trying to focus on the story and taking in the new context. ¡°...and he needed something totch onto while she was gone, so I told him there was a group of demons that were trying to infiltrate his church, and that I¡¯d y them for him, exining all of theplications that came with killing a demon, how there would be no body to bury and everything.¡± She shrugged, ¡°Whether he believed me wasn¡¯t that important; I just had to cate him until Zamira came back,¡± her posture shifted, a rare moment of vulnerability as she crossed her arms over her chest, ¡°But she never did, the backstabbing cunt.¡± ¡°And you just told him she was dead?¡± Sophia filled in. ¡°It was just one name in a list of ones I¡¯d actually killed ¨C and she really is dead to me.¡± ¡°Huh,¡± I let out. Lily I picked at my meal with my spoon, theforting vors soothing my rebelling stomach. It was something in between curry and porridge, and the chunks appeared to be bits of fruits and vegetables native to Hell. ¡°At that point,¡± Mom said, ¡°I¡¯d made it back to Hell, sure, but I had nowhere to go, no one to rely on. I couldn¡¯t return to Earth and trigger whatever scheme my sister had cooked up, and after over a year of my husband¡­ Well it could¡¯ve been worse, but¡­¡± Edith massaged the tops of her shoulders from behind, whispering in her ear. Zamira took in a shuddering breath and spoke, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to return to him, even if I could. It hurt so much to leave you behind, to leave Scarlet and my husband behind ¨C even after everything she¡¯d done¡­ I wish I¡¯d done more to fix things.¡± Her wife whispered in her ear yet again, shaking her head this time. ¡°But I don¡¯t get it ¨C you just left me behind? You didn¡¯t try to tell the Hell police what your sister was trying to do or get someone else to check on me? You didn¡¯t just take me with you?!¡± I pleaded, still pulling from my endless well of hurt. Edith continued shaking her head, ¡°Lily, your mother was not the person she is now when she left the humans. She was hurt and confused, and it took a long time for things to get better,¡± she sent me a pointed look, urging me to be more careful. Mom started crying again, dabbing the wet handkerchief to her face, ¡°No, she¡¯s right ¨C I knew I could¡¯ve asked you to go check on her at some point, but I was scared.¡± Her sadness dried up as her self-hate ignited. ¡°I thought that he would be as nice to her as he was to me when he¡¯d thought I was human. I didn¡¯t want to think about the slim possibility that she wasn''t human, because that would reignite my hurt all over again ¨C and that¡¯s my fault for being weak.¡± A tense silence settled over the table, Zamira waiting to hear me condemn her and everyone else waiting for me to tell her it wasn¡¯t her fault. But it kind of was. ¡°...¡± I stared down at my food, something stuck in my stomach, deep and visceral. It was partially grief ¨C the sadness of mourning what could¡¯ve been ¨C partially anger ¨C anger at Scarlet, at my dad, and, most pressingly, the crying woman in front of me ¨C and partially disappointment that Mom wasn¡¯t as perfect as I¡¯d imagined she was. I could go on and on about all the ways she¡¯d hurt me, the ways that her stupid decisions messed with my life, I could yell and scream, tell her that I hated her and she¡¯d never earn my forgiveness ¨C and for a brief moment it might feel pretty good. But is that what I want ¨C to hurt her because she hurt me? I closed my eyes, searching deep in my soul for what I was supposed to do. There wasn¡¯t a single feeling in my heart telling me to forgive her. I leaned in, wrapping my arms around her small frame. ¡°I forgive you, Mom.¡± Part 3, Chapter 9 Part 3, Chapter 9 Amber ¡°And that¡¯s why I¡¯ve acted the way I have,¡± my mother finished. I blinked, focusing on the present rather than going down one of a dozen rabbit holes of implications. ¡°What was the point of that story?¡± I turned to Sophia, checking if she had understood it any better. She reflected my confused stare back, raising one eyebrow. ¡°I¡¯m trying to exin to you why we¡¯re on the same side ¨C why you should listen to me when I tell you that subi are deceitful schemers.¡± ¡°So you aren¡¯t going to try to make me murder my girlfriend ¨C or murder her yourself for that matter?¡± The waitress, who¡¯d walked by to refill our waters, shed me a stic smile and slowly backed away, giving up on our drinks. ¡°You¡¯re free to make whatever choices you want to, even if they¡¯re the wrong ones. I gave the job to you, so it¡¯s up to you to get it done ¨C I won¡¯t do it for you.¡± Sophia added to our questions, ignoring my mother¡¯s response ¡°And what about K¨C¡± I nudged her under the table with my elbow ¨C she didn¡¯t have the experience of keeping her guard up against my mother that I did. She coughed, ¡°What about that witch? You can¡¯t just send someone to take your daughter out and expect us to forget.¡± My mother rolled her eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t send any witches after you ¨C you¡¯re just paranoid. Besides, May lives pretty close by, it¡¯s not surprising you ran into her.¡± I stared, my lips forming a tight line. ¡°So what do you want me to do, exactly?¡± I asked. ¡°Call your friend back from Hell before she has a chance of getting corrupted by the fiends and devils that live there,¡± she raised her eyebrows, ¡°You didn¡¯t think the things I¡¯d said about demons came from nowhere, did you?¡± her head shook, pursed lips expressing disappointment, ¡°Many of those who dwell in the pits of Hell are just as sinister and cruel as my sister ¨C they even banished me for the simple act of defending myself ¨C and even if a civilized demon can be raised among humans, its best to limit their exposure to others of their kind so that the worst of their behaviors don¡¯t manifest.¡± I nced at Sophia again, sharing my uncertainty. What was in Hell? I¡¯d never been religious, but it was hard to break away from the stereotype of eternal damnation ¨C and it wasn¡¯t an oundish im that humanity¡¯s perception of demons had toe from somewhere. If they¡¯d all been as kind as Lily, then there wouldn¡¯t be all that bad press about them in the first ce. ¡°Okay, but we have no way to contact her and she¡¯s not supposed to be back for another month,¡± I lied, partially out of habit and partially to clue Sophia in on the fact that I was still skeptical. My mother tutted, shaking her head, ¡°That just won¡¯t do, if you wait too long, she¡¯lle back changed. Why don¡¯t I help out and give you a trans-dimensionalmunication spell? It only works if the recipient epts it, so unless they already got their ws in her, it shouldn¡¯t be toote.¡± ¡°Alright¡­¡± I felt Sophia¡¯s hand clench mine, but I was unsure if she was buying the narrative that we needed to hurry and call Lily, or if she was trying to warn me that my mother was still being deceitful. Honestly, trying to unpack the truth out of what she¡¯d told us was making my brain go in circles, my thoughts wrapping around themselves in a thick tangled mess. ¡°So is that it?¡± Sophia asked, disbelieving, ¡°You just wanted to tell Amber about why you hate other demons?¡± My mother shook her head, ¡°I don¡¯t hate demons, I don¡¯t even hate subi in particr, I¡¯m just wary of the dangers they pose to regr civilized folk.¡± After a brief silence she continued, ¡°I wanted to rify where I stood on the matter and give Amber my experiences so that she didn¡¯t make the same mistakes I did ¨C but that¡¯s her choice to make, and I¡¯ll always be here, waiting to help you if you fail.¡± She stood and exited the booth, ncing onest time at me, ¡°Amber, I love you, and I know you¡¯ll make the right decision,¡± and then she left, not a single nce given to her now cold food. ¡°Huh.¡± My head leaned over to rest on Sophia¡¯s shoulder, and she ran her hand through my hair, massaging my scalp. Lily The rest of our dinner was more pleasant, our conversations staying on more frivolous matters. Katie took the brunt of the questioning from the older women, basking in their doting and telling everyone about her teenage adventures on Earth, studying under Amber and highschool. I finished my meal, enjoying it even though I still didn¡¯t know what it was or what it was called. I also ate a dessert, a spongy cake with mushy green fruit in it. Despite how the fruit looked like kiwi, it tasted more like peaches, and it was tastier than I¡¯d anticipated. Once we all finished, everyone was happy to have Zamirae with the rest of us back to Kelith¡¯s house, although it still felt to me like there was the slightest bit of tension in the air, a bit of unresolved issues, but it could¡¯ve just been my imagination. We sat around the living room, Katie and I sharing a plush chair, Mom and Edith doing the same, and Kelith sitting alone on her couch. I started off with a question that had been on my mind for a bit, ¡°Is there a way tomunicate with Earth from Hell?¡± A round of head shakes answered me, along with Edith¡¯s words, ¡°No, the only method to connect the two ces is a Demon making a portal, and even if you somehow forced a portal to stay open, something that would require exceptional amounts of energy, the randomness of the portal would prevent the signal from working.¡± ¡°Randomness?¡± Katie asked, her legs curling up onto our seat and her body leaning into mine as I absentmindedly brushed my hand through her hair. She winced, ¡°I forgot you didn¡¯t get an education¡­¡± she moved on, pushing through the awkwardness, ¡°So the connection between the human world and Hell, it¡¯s¡­ inconsistent. Traveling in one world will make your exit in the other world travel as well, but there isn¡¯t an exact logic to it; the best we can get is vibes ¨C not that it¡¯s a popr field of research to begin with.¡± I wondered if she was feeling awkward about Katie¡¯s situation, where she didn¡¯t have any information on her parents, or mine, where Edith¡¯s wife was the reason my education sucked. Either way, a silence stretched out over the room, coating everyone¡¯s throats with sticky goo. I need to talk to Katie about her situationter, I¡¯ve been really self-centeredtely. Hell, we never even made it to a library¡­ I leaned over to whisper in Katie¡¯s ear, ¡°Let¡¯s take you to the library tomorrow morning.¡± She gave me a giddy smile and an enthusiastic nod in response. God, how bad must¡¯ve her life been that me remembering to take her to the library two dayste is that exciting? Mom tried to revive the conversation. ¡°So girls, what''re your long-term ns?¡± I nced at Katie, but she was no more certain than I was. ¡°Um, we¡¯re still supposed to go back home in¡­ four days?¡± I saw Katie nod next to me, ¡°My girlfriends and Katie¡¯s sister are still back home, and that¡¯s where our lives are so¡­¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she couldn¡¯t hide her disappointment, ¡°I know it¡¯ste but you can still get your education here, and whatever you need, I can provide for you,¡± she looked at her wife who nodded in support next to her. ¡°Mom, I¡¯m almost twenty-one, and I''m doing¡­ fine,¡± I lied. Somehow, it felt wrong to admit to her that my metamorphosis hadpletely fucked up my life, at least as far as money and my existing ns were concerned. I wasn¡¯t sure if I hid it because I was ashamed about not having my shit together, or if I didn¡¯t want her to feel like it was her fault. Kelith chimed in with some context, ¡°Demons are often in school until they¡¯re well into their thirties, and it¡¯s not umon for them to live with their parents for decades after that, although leaving the nest and forging your own path is equallymon.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll think about it¡­ I¡¯d need to talk about it with my girlfriends first, and Katie would also be a big consideration ¨C it¡¯s not like I can just upend my life and move to another dimension.¡± Another silence settled over the room. I took the chance to look around, noticing that despite there being no ceiling fan or visible vents, the room was perfectlyfortable ¨C although that was probably in part due to the pleasant weather outside. Zamira tried conversation again, building off what I¡¯d just said. ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell me about your girlfriends, there¡¯s two, right?¡± I rxed, happy to gush about them, ¡°Yes, they¡¯re Amber and Sophia. Amber is strong-willed and strong bodied. She¡¯s fiery and passionate and really really hot,¡± I nced to the side, seeing Katie sticking out her tongue at me, ¡°And she¡¯s this little one¡¯s older sister.¡± After a round of hesitant nods from the older women, I continued, ¡°Sophia is just as confident, but she¡¯s a lot quieter, preferring to wait and listen. She always knows what to do and she¡¯s super reliable. And of course, she¡¯s really beautiful, I love them both.¡± Mom gave me a mom-look, ¡°You¡¯re using protection, right?¡± Katie fake-gagged. ¡°Uhh, no, I can just control my fertility with magic.¡± Katie actually gagged. A round of concerned looks from everyone other than Katie had me squirming in my seat. Kelith was the one to respond, pinching the bridge of her nose, ¡°No¡­ that¡¯s not a thing. You can magic away your period, but you¡¯re still just as capable of having children.¡± While Kelith was speaking, Zamira was standing and leaving the room, followed shortly by her wife. We soon heard snifflesing from the kitchen. I stared at my grandmother, one hand reaching for my lower stomach, ¡°Oh¡­ How¡­ how would I know?¡± She sighed, ¡°Thankfully, you¡¯re a subus so it¡¯d be really obvious to you if you were pregnant ¨C no spells necessary. If you haven¡¯t noticed anything by now, you¡¯re probably in the clear. As for your partners, human detection methods should suffice,¡± she nced towards the kitchen, ¡°And since they won¡¯t say it, please be more careful in the future. I¡¯ll make sure to get you some well-made birth control before you leave, there¡¯s no telling how shoddy what those humans make is.¡± ¡°Oh. Thank you.¡± I let out, somehow not embarrassed about the sex talk, although Katie, who was squirming and making faces next to me, clearly was. My grandmother sighed again, ¡°What you¡¯re doing¡­¡± her eyes flicked towards the kitchen, ¡°It¡¯s not easy. I wouldn¡¯t¡¯ve med you for taking the easy way out.¡± For a second, I debated whether to pretend not to know what she meant. ¡°Yea¡­¡± I stared at where my mother had been sitting, ¡°I want there to be something there, but unfortunately, it¡¯s not that simple.¡± I sat in silence for a moment, letting myplicated feelings wash through me. The other two returned, mostly unruffled, but Zamira¡¯s eyes were a bit redder than usual. She cleared her throat as she sat, ¡°I¡¯m sorry about that¡­¡± her eyes focused on me, ¡°Um, if you need me to exin¡­¡± No I know how sex works, it¡¯s just that no one ever taught me how to be a demon. I was so close to saying it, but I held back my frustrations, instead nodding and thanking her. I leaned on Katie, burying my face in her shoulder and removing myself from further conversation. I miss Amber and Sophia so much¡­ Part 3, Chapter 10 Part 3, Chapter 10 Amber ¡°I have no idea what this spell is supposed to do,¡± Sophia said, hunched over the desk in her dorm room, ¡°I don¡¯t trust it one bit, though, there¡¯s no way it¡¯s worth the risk of casting it.¡± ¡°Then what are we supposed to do? I know we¡¯re hardly in a different ce than we were yesterday ¨C we still need to figure out how to keep Lily and Katie safe long-term, but she reframed the whole conversation so much that I don¡¯t even know what to think anymore!¡± I yelled, turning to face the corner and clench my fists. Sophia remained silent behind me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡¯m not mad at you and I shouldn¡¯t take it out on you,¡± I sighed, ¡°It¡¯s just so annoying, trying to sort through everything she said ¨C is there anything we can trust?¡± She stood, walking close and wrapping her arms around me from behind, ¡°It¡¯s okay, Amber, we can figure this out.¡± She guided my body back onto her bed, where weid together, loosely entwined and staring at the ceiling. ¡°Let¡¯s think about this logically ¨C what are we trying to aplish?¡± I took a moment to think, taking deep breaths and feeling Sophia¡¯s fingertips idly scratching my outer hip. ¡°We need to protect Lily and Katie, mainly from my mother ¨C whether that¡¯s by hiding them from her like we are now or¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to voice the more permanent way to keep my mother away, mostly because it wasn¡¯t feasible given the amount of power she¡¯d demonstrated. ¡°Exactly, so some options: We can keep Lily and Katie in Hell, with or without us being there as well ¨C assuming your mother was even telling the truth about being banished in the first ce. We can help your motherplete her goal of returning to Hell and the rest of us can stay on Earth while demon society deals with her. We could wait until Lily returns, and see if she learned anything in Hell that would help us. What else¡­?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ It feels to me like she¡¯s just so powerful, so all-knowing that it would be impossible to outwit or overpower her ¨C like no matter what we do, she¡¯ll always be ten steps ahead. And if we managed to somehow send her away, what would happen to my sisters?¡± Sophia hummed, caressing me reassuringly. Iughed, ¡°It almost feels like we know less after our conversation with her, and I can¡¯t tell if that¡¯s on purpose. Was she just trying to confuse us, to make us doubt ourselves? Did she really want us to call Lily back, or did she want us to not call her back? Ugh, I kind of want to give up on this for now and just focus on something else ¨C unless you¡¯ve got more ideas.¡± ¡°No, I agree with you, it¡¯s confusing, trying to piece together what she¡¯d been trying to do. What do you want to talk about?¡± Her caressing hand moved from my outer thigh, up through my inner thigh towards my stomach. ¡°Well, there¡¯s the thing I don¡¯t want to talk about,¡± I turned my head to give her a pointed look, ¡°But we aren¡¯t going to talk about that,¡± I paused, ¡°I don¡¯t know, we could talk about more stress relief,¡± I proposed, already knowing that¡¯s where she¡¯d been hinting with her hand. Her hand stilled. ¡°What aren¡¯t we talking about?¡± she asked, confused. ¡°You¡¯ve got me curious now.¡± I shook my head. ¡°C¡¯mon, you¡¯ve got to know already, you were the one that told me.¡± She stared at me silently, one eyebrow raised. ¡°We aren¡¯t talking about it,¡± I reasserted. ¡°Fine you can keep it to yourself,¡± she rolled her eyes, hand resuming its motion on my leg. ¡°It¡¯s not important,¡± I insisted, ¡°Like it doesn¡¯t even matter in any way and I¨C¡± ¡°Amber. I said it¡¯s fine. Are we going to bang or not?¡± Huh, that¡¯s apelling argument¡­ Lily The Central Seriza Library was a grand structure, about as big as I¡¯d ever seen, given that the tallest buildings in my hometown were a handful of stories tall. The entrance to the library stood atop a half-dozen worn stone steps, and after I climbed them with Katie, the sloped roof jutted out from the walls to hang over us. The building itself was made ofrge, dark grey bricks with flecks of ck speckled across their smooth faces, and tall windows, small, intricately carved arches cresting the top of each. I hefted open the massive stained wood doors and, instead of being met with the musky scent of dusty paper and the silent shuffle of library goers, there was a clean, sterile smell reminiscent of a hospital, and a constant chatter that filled the space ¨C not quite high-energy, but still a far cry from what I¡¯d expect on Earth. I stopped in my tracks as my eyes roamed where the books should¡¯ve been. While there were no shelves anywhere in the cavernous room, there were square pirs at regr intervals, with there being a section cut into each face at head-height, although from across the room I couldn¡¯t tell what it was for. People were everywhere, sitting at the long tables, reading, studying, discussing, and working, and like much of my time in Hell, it was overwhelming. ¡°Wow¡­¡± Katie let out, ¡°Where¡¯re all the books though? Is it all digital?¡± Her tone made it clear she wasn¡¯t a fan of the prospect. On my part, I couldn¡¯t remember seeing any piece of electronics in Hell ¨C as far as I could tell all of the lights I¡¯d seen and all of the appliances in Kelith¡¯s kitchen had been powered by magic ¨C although Kelith had mentioned phones before. We continued forwards, me following my little sister as she hunted down where the books were, and, once she asked a librarian to exin how it worked, all I could do was try to keep up. Apparently the books were all upstairs, and while you could look through them yourself, it was moremon to use the stations at the pirs to query for books magically and have them teleported to you, also using the station to teleport them back when you were done. Katie scampered over to the nearest pir, skimmed the instruction card, and mmed what was essentially Google¡¯s ¡®I¡¯m feeling lucky¡¯ button a few times ¨C although this version seemed more sophisticated, not even needing her to give it a topic. We then carried a small stack of tomes to a table and began reading. ¡ª I¡¯m so bored¡­. My forehead rested against the cool surface of the table, my horns short enough to avoid scratching the surface. I should¡¯ve gotten my own book, I don¡¯t know why I thought Katie''s would be interesting¡­ She¡¯s sixteen, isn¡¯t she supposed to be a hyperactive social media addict? The first book I¡¯d tried to read out of her pile had gone on and on about molecr magical capacitors, how they created a circr flow of energy in thettice structure¡­ and I almost fell asleep. I picked up a different book after a dozen minutes of skimming ¨C and maybe a few of dozing ¨C thinking that surely it must¡¯ve been an exception. Nope! The next book was about the resonance frequencies of specific arrangements of cellulose in magically significant herbs and¡­ I yawned, stretching in my chair and blinking my fatigue away. I hadn¡¯t noticed earlier, but Katie had utilized this little magical doohickey that made the room quiet around us, although the sign for it rified that it didn¡¯t silence outgoing sound. ¡°I¡¯m almost done, Lily, sorry this is so boring for you,¡± Katie nced at me sheepishly. Another yawn escaped me, ¡°No don¡¯t worry about it, I¡¯m fine. It¡¯s nice to spend time with just the two of us¡­ It¡¯s just that maybe I¡¯m not the person to discuss this kind of stuff with¡­¡± I poked at the nt book, happy I hadn¡¯t drooled on it. She giggled, ¡°Yea, I can¡¯t wait to get back to Amber and talk about all this stuff with her ¨C she would love it here¡­.¡± There was a brief silence as she returned to her reading, and I daydreamed about moving to Hell. I could get to know my family better, I wouldn¡¯t have to hide who I was or the fact that I was dating two women at once¡­ Although maybe people would be a little weird about them being human, I guess we haven¡¯t seen how other species are treated here. ¡°Do you think Amber would want to move here?¡± I asked, trying to mask my hopeful tone. ¡°I don¡¯t know. She would definitely want to visit, but as far as living here? I¡¯m not even sure whether I would want to live here. It¡¯s cool, but there¡¯s so much I still don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Yea, that¡¯s true¡­ I feel a bit more like I belong here, though, at least on my initial impression ¨C but you¡¯re right, there¡¯s so much I don¡¯t know about demon culture. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be back soon to visit, though.¡± I can¡¯t wait to see what Amber and Sophia think about Hell. ¡ª Once Katie finished up her initial skimmings and I woke up, we made our way back to Kelith¡¯s ce, enjoying the pleasant weather ¨C although I didn¡¯t know what season it was. When we arrived, Katie went off to the kitchen to help Kelith prepare lunch, while I went to the living room to talk with my mom more, wanting to better understand demons and Hell. I sat on the couch with her, keeping afortable distance away. ¡°So do any of you have jobs? Or how does the economy work¡­?¡± She set down the novel she¡¯d been reading, marking her ce with a blue ribbon. ¡°Yea, we¡¯re all employed, but in Hell we have long vacations ¨C more than one person will fill the same position, taking turns while the others take time off. Older people like Kelith will get longer time off and higher priority, but that¡¯s the jist of it.¡± ¡°Huh. How long do we live?¡± It was surprising that I¡¯d taken so long to ask that question ¨C given that it had been hanging in the back of my head since I¡¯d epted my identity ¨C but it also wasn¡¯t surprising given everything else that had been vying for my attention and the fact that I was scared to find out the answer. ¡°It depends on race quite a bit, but most are in the hundreds ¨C concubi in particr live somewhere around 800-1200 years.¡± ¡°Huh¡­¡± Yea¡­ that¡¯s what I was scared of. Cool, just what I needed, another awkward conversation to have with my partners¡­ She watched my reaction, maintaining the distance we¡¯d held since our meeting in the restaurant. I was eager to move on. ¡°Is there any downside to hopping in and out of Hell? Like teleportation sickness or whatever?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as teleportation sickness, but demons that go in and out of the human world quickly have escting portal costs. It¡¯s not a cooldown per say, but it functions a lot like a cooldown. Honestly, I only know this because I did my homework before chasing after my sister. Most demons don¡¯t care about the human world ¨C to them it¡¯s just the ce we dump people that are especially cruel and destructive.¡± Katie entered the room holding a tter of sandwiches, diverting my attention away from our conversation. We were soon joined by Kelith and Edith, thetter of which beelined directly to her wife, carrying a te for the two. I thanked her and Kelith as Katie plopped beside me and we began munching on them ¨C although I still couldn¡¯t tell what any of the vegetables were. Is there even any meat in this sandwich? ¡°So, have you asked about my mom yet?¡± Katie asked. I shook my head. ¡°I was waiting for you,¡± I looked towards Kelith, who¡¯d sat on an armchair with her own te, ¡°Katie¡¯s mom is a human witch, and she¡¯s not the biggest fan of demons, or subi in particr, so she¡¯s been giving us some trouble ¨C it¡¯s why we¡¯re here in the first ce, to hide out while we figure out a permanent solution.¡± ¡°I¡¯m assuming you don¡¯t want to kill her?¡± Edith asked, shrugging when my mom red at her. ¡°No,¡± Katie answered, ¡°I don¡¯t know who¡¯d take care of my sisters if she wasn¡¯t there¡­¡± Holy shit, that¡¯s the reason she doesn¡¯t want her mother dead?! I wrapped an arm around Katie¡¯s back, hugging her close, trying to make her feel loved. Kelith hummed thoughtfully, setting down a half-eaten sandwich on her te. ¡°It¡¯s hard to sway, without the full context ¨C what would your ideal resolution be?¡± I nced at Katie, unsure if she was okay with me speaking for her, given that it was her mom. At her nod, I spoke, ¡°Well, ideally we solve it diplomatically, but her beliefs are pretty deeply entrenched ¨C at least by my understanding ¨C and she used to work as a demon hunter, so¡­¡± Katie added, ¡°If someone wanted to, we could maybe have a powerful group escort her around Hell and let her understand on her own terms that demons aren¡¯t evil? I¡¯m sure she¡¯d be interested in visiting ¨C she loves to research and study ¨C but maybe I¡¯m just being optimistic.¡± Edith nodded, ¡°As a devil, I doubt she¡¯d be stronger than me magically, and she certainly wouldn¡¯t be stronger than me physically. I¡¯d be interested in showing her around, if you could convince her toe in the first ce.¡± ¡°Yea, that sounds like an idea, but I think it would be good to have backups, just in case we¡¯re being too optimistic.¡± I said, breezing past her admission she was The Devil ¨C I assumed it was some kind of nickname, hoped it wasn¡¯t literal for the sake of my fading ¨C but still present ¨C religious sensibilities. Despite my words, after another few rounds of discussions, the best idea anyone had was Zamira asking if we¡¯d gone to the administration of the college I went to. She referred to it as the embassy for Hell, not knowing I attended the school, and I pped my palm to my forehead, irritated I hadn¡¯t thought to ask them for help in the first ce. So, in all, we had two ns for dealing with Amber¡¯s mom when we came back to Earth, and going home didn¡¯t seem so scary anymore. Ugh, I still need to talk to Katie about how she feels about her parents, there are a million conversations of varying levels of embarrassment I need to have with Amber and Sophia, and I need to have one ¨C potentiallyst ¨C conversation with my dad. Part 3, Chapter 11 Part 3, Chapter 11 Amber Once I got over myself, sex between Sophia and I was intoxicating. She was insatiable, and the days blended together as we took the excuse of needing to stay hidden from my mother ¨C which wasn¡¯t valid anymore ¨C way too seriously. Meals were consumed and showers were taken at any hour, the sun¡¯s light having no meaning on our eternal frantic dance. We fueled our respective angst and frustration at our situation into each other¡¯s bodies, leaving each of us with our own smattering of angry marks from overzealous mouths. Then, as I came down from one of my highs, sweaty and full of bliss, I nced at my phone, checking for any notifications, and saw the date. ¡°Shit, they¡¯re supposed to be back in¡­¡± my tired mind strained to remember if we¡¯d ever agreed upon a time, ¡°Well, sometime between six hours ago and eighteen hours from now.¡± Sophia lifted her head from between my legs, brushing her tangled blonde hair from her face and making a face like she was about to sneeze. ¡°Shoot,¡± she said, climbing off of me and out of bed to look for clothes to throw on. I followed suit, stealing a loose cream sundress out of her closet and throwing it over no underwear, thankful that the dress covered my chest enough for the trip back to my dorm. We quickly made our way outside, discussing whether they¡¯d be showing up where they left or if we¡¯d have to go find them somewhere, and what we were going to do if my mother tried to intervene. We didn¡¯t have a confident answer for either. ¡ª Our anxious waiting was finally put to an end by a phone call from Lily in thete morning, telling us they¡¯d popped out across town, that she had a lot to tell us but it could wait until we met up. Sophia and I were ecstatic just to hear their voices, and although Lily tried to insist otherwise, I wanted to meet her halfway before escorting her back home. A short nning sessionter and we were set to meet outside a train station closer to us than to Lily. On the way there, my heart thumped and jolted at every olddy Sophia and I walked past, every person that looked the slightest bit like a witch I used to know. A long walk, a short train ride, and a short walkter and I finally saw Lily and Katie. I threw my arms around my girlfriend, picking her up and spinning around as she giggled and relief flooded my body. Once I had my fill, I handed her off to Sophia and went in for a hug on Katie. Neither of them looked as weary as I¡¯d expected ¨C I knew that spending a week away from home could be stressful and tiring, regardless of where it was, and I¡¯d worried that Hell would be hard to live in. Wepleted our greetings and then it came time for news. Lily started the conversation, asking if we¡¯de up with a solution. At my shameful shark of my head, she began her story, also starting our trip home. ¡°So first off, you don¡¯t have to tell me you opened my letter, I can smell you both and you smell delicious,¡± she coughed, ¡°Anyways, we have a few ideas, but nothing concrete.¡± She then proceeded to exin that Hell was neat, demons were chill ¨C her words not mine ¨C and that she¡¯d met up with her very much not dead mom and her family. I then told them about what happened with my mom, and unfortunately Katie was as baffled as I was, not having an answer when I asked whether she wanted to return to the coven like nothing had happened, despite the possibility that our mother knew she was a demon. Then came the awkward part. ¡°Um, so during that conversation with my mom, she said her sister¡¯s name was Zamira, and Sophia said¡­¡± Lily gasped, ¡°Oh¡­ Your mom is Scarlet. That means¡­¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t talking about it?¡± I suggested. She nodded, ¡°That works for me, cuz¡¯.¡± I gagged. ¡°Never say that again, or I¡¯m leaving and taking Sophia with me.¡± Sophia watched the two of us, amused and not denying my assertion. I cleared my throat, eager to move on. ¡°So, any other news you need to share?¡± The four of us stepped onto the train and found two seats, which were given to me and Sophia. Lily sat on ourps, throwing me a cheeky smile before adopting a more serious expression to answer my question. ¡°Well you know how I said I could control my fertility with magic¡­?¡± She started. Katie, standing in front of us, covered her ears and stuck her tongue out at me. ¡°Oh. So are you¡­?¡± Lily¡¯s head whipped back and forth, smacking me with her hair. ¡°No, but I did get a stern lecture from my grandma along with a bunch of magic condoms, so¡­¡± ¡°So you want to try them out,¡± I finished, snaking my hand around her to massage the top of her thigh through her long dress. ¡°Yesss,¡± she hissed, ¡°but only once we figure out what to do about Katie.¡± She turned her head and pecked me on the nose, ¡°I love you so much. I missed you both, and I can¡¯t wait to see what you two discovered while I was gone.¡± Sophia leaned into Lily, her hand massaging Lily¡¯s other thigh. ¡°I could show you right now¡­¡± she whispered, her voice just as much of a caress as her hand. Katie red down at us, ¡°Don¡¯t make me get a spray bottle¡­¡± That shut us up, at least for now, and we remained remarkably well behaved, despite the urges I had to find the nearest bathroom and have my way with Lily. I missed topping¡­ ¡ª ¡°I¡¯m going back.¡± I stared at my little sister, trying to find the interpretation of her statement that made sense. She must mean going back to live in the coven, right? My gaze instinctually searched for my girlfriends, wanting their backup, but the two of them were off in Lily¡¯s room doing more catchup while I talked with Katie. I regretted splitting up. ¡°It¡¯s safer, I don¡¯t have to hide who I am, I can actually study the things I¡¯m interested in,¡± she counted off her reasons, sticking a finger out for each one, ¡°And best of all when I go to school in Hell, no one will fucking mess with me for being gay.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± I don¡¯t want you to leave¡­ ¡°it¡¯s Hell¡­¡± ¡°Amber¡­¡± She shuffled over on the couch, leaning her shoulder on mine, not really embracing me but still offering love all the same. ¡°It¡¯s safe ¨C I promise. You can ask Lily, I¡¯m sure she¡¯d agree that there¡¯s no safer ce for me to be. And it¡¯s where I belong¡­¡± We both sighed, and my hand came up to ruffle her hair. The fact that she was slightly taller than me was something I still hadn¡¯t gotten used to despite the fact that her biggest growth spurt had started well before middle school. ¡°You can visit me, and I can visit you, but the possibility was always there that one of us would move away.¡± My hand continued its motions, even as my gaze fell in front of me, following my drooping posture. ¡°Amber, I love you, and you¡¯re more of a mom to me than that bitch ever was,¡± she puffed out augh, ¡°even if you can be a bit of an idiot sometimes¡­¡± ¡°I¡­¡± another sigh escaped me, ¡°Don¡¯t call your mother an idiot,¡± I joked, my resigned tone not letting either of usugh. ¡°We¡¯ll see each other soon, and eventually I¡¯ll have a bigger polycule than you,¡± Katie stuck her tongue out, ¡°Now let''s go tell the other two and send me home so you can get on celebrating your girlfriend''s return.¡± Iughed, surprised she hadn''t told Lily her ns, given the fact that I¡¯d picked up on the two being closer since their trip. We disentangled, got off the couch, and joined the other two women in Lily¡¯s bedroom. Lily saw us first,ying on her bed facing us in her demon form, while Sophia was behind her, face buried in Lily¡¯s hair. Lily¡¯s eyes darted between Katie¡¯s face and mine, and she sat up, evidently understanding the weight of the conversation. Sophia followed her, blinking drowsiness out of her eyes and yawning ¨C both things I desperately wanted to do as well, given how little sleep we¡¯d been getting. Katie sat in the desk chair, and I stood behind her instead of joining my girlfriends, wanting to support my sister more than anything else ¨C even though I had a lingering bitterness in my throat at the thought of her going away. My little sister began, nervously settling her hands together in herp, ¡°So I¡¯m going back to live in Hell ¨C permanently.¡± The two women on the bed sat in stupefied silence for a moment before reacting, Sophia simply shrugging and Lily¡¯s eyes darting to my face, looking for something. I rified, ¡°I¡¯m not thrilled about it, but she exined her reasons to me, and it makes sense. Unless you think it¡¯d be particrly dangerous¡­¡± Lily shook her head, ¡°No, not dangerous, but there is a limit on how often we can go back and forth,¡± her eyes settled onto the floor, ¡°I guess I can see why, I just hadn¡¯t considered Katie would want to move before me¡­¡± I leaned onto the chair, causing it to creak, ¡°You were nning on leaving?¡± I couldn¡¯t keep the hurt out of my voice in my surprise. She winced, curling in on herself, ¡°No, not anytime soon ¨C unless you two wanted to,¡± she sighed, ¡°I was nning on taking you on a trip there sometime soon because I think you¡¯d enjoy it, and I wanted to gauge interest in moving there, but¡­ Well I was nning on telling you two this once we got time alone, but concubi live for hundreds of years¡­¡± ¡°Oh.¡± I blinked. I knew that¡­ so why does being reminded of it feel like such a punch in the gut? It¡¯s not like it¡¯ll even matter to me; I¡¯ll be dead. She¡¯s the one that has to deal with being alive for so long. ¡°Let¡¯s worry about thatter,¡± Sophia interjected, ¡°The two of us dying of old age is less of a concern right now than us breaking up ¨C and I¡¯m sure someone out there has researched life-extending magic.¡± I nodded along with Lily, even as my feelings insisted that the issue was more important than that. ¡°So, we¡¯re getting Katie ready to go back as soon as possible?¡± More nods answered my question. As much as I want time alone with my girlfriends, I still don¡¯t want her to leave¡­ Bonus 2: Resolve, Resolution, and Rest Bonus 2: Resolve, Resolution, and Rest Katie As much as I wished otherwise, leaving Earth was an Ordeal, and Amber was taking my admission that she felt like my mom way too seriously. She helicoptered around as we took a quick trip to the coven to grab my things, and then I spent the next couple hours trying to exin why I didn¡¯t need to bring everyst bit to Hell, and, in fact, Kelith was more than capable of feeding and housing me, even being enthusiastic at the prospect. I understood that she was sad about me leaving, but did she really have to be so annoying about it? Whatever, it was worth it, just to get the chance to see her reaction to the toys I¡¯d had in my room, and the fact that they were one of the few things I was bringing. Saying goodbye to the other two was a much different experience. Sophia I didn¡¯t know all that well, and though Lily seemed to think we could geek out together over magic, that¡¯d nevere through. Overall, it was awkward, but easy. Lily, on the other hand, was much more difficult, but thankfully not as much as Amber. The two of us had undeniably gotten closer during our shared vacation in Hell. I¡¯d been forced into the middle of her family drama, and, as much as I¡¯d felt like an outsider listening in on their conversations, I¡¯d grown to like Lily and her grandma. Starting out, when we¡¯d first left, I¡¯d liked Lily in a different way, but as I learned more about her, was desensitized to how attractive demon women were, and forced her into the ¡®older sister¡¯ box, my feelings shifted and now I found myself happy Lily and Amber had found each other, rather than jealous. I still want my own polycule though¡­ After a hundred reminders and endless hugs, I finally opened the portal to my new home, a staggering rush of energy falling out of me as the orange oval came into existence a few feet over from where Lily¡¯s had been a week ago. With onest wave and a sigh, I stepped through, into my new life. ¡ª Hell was the same, and as I spun around to gather my bearings and find my way to Seriza, I had a hard time pinning down why it was so odd to me that everything was the same ¨C it¡¯d only been a week. Once I got going, walking through the sparse foliage and settling into my rhythm, however, I figured it out. My time in Hell hadn¡¯t felt real to me, at least not once I got back on Earth, and I¡¯d had a hard time believing it was anything more than a dream even as I was getting ready to move there. I breathed in the clean air, letting the trickles of afternoon sun cutting down from the bushy treetops settle onto my exposed purple skin, convincing myself that this was real ¨C I could be a demon if I want to, live in a ce where that was okay, and there was no way for anyone to stop me, least of all Lily¡¯s aunt. I stifled augh at that thought ¨C that was one part of their rtionship that I had no envy for. My thoughts drifted to the concept of family, and how abstract it was to me. The person most connected to me, at least on Earth, was Lily¡¯s aunt, who had legal guardianship of me. But she wasn¡¯t rted to me by blood, and I had little care for what the governments of Earth had to say at this point. So then, were Lily, Amber, and Kelith my family? Could I really just pick and choose who counted and who didn''t? What a mess¡­ And that wasn¡¯t even touching the possibility that my biological parents were out there somewhere, if Scarlet hadn¡¯t killed them. Lily and I had talked about that one night before we left Hell, and we found out that unlike her, I¡¯d never wondered about my missing parent(s), happy to follow along with what my caretakers and my older sister told me to do. Whatever, who cares? I had better things to do than mulling over the meaning of life. I was in Hell and pointless pondering could wait until I was at least a hundred and fifty years old. I kept my thoughts worry free until I reached the edge of the city ¨C a shorter walk than it had beenst time ¨C and I heard amotion, people yelling and a small crowd murmuring. Amongst a gathering of a dozen or so onlookers were a couple stern-looking demons dressed in ck robes, and Scarlet. What the fuck? As I scampered over to the edge of the voyeurs, my overstuffed backpack bouncing behind me and my suitcase flopping in my hand, the only new context I gained was that she was arguing with the robe-wearers. I approached the friendliest looking person watching, someone on the younger side with pale green skin, and whispered to her, ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± She startled, rxing when she peeked back at me, having to look up slightly to match my height, ¡°Apparently she managed to return to Hell, despite being banished, and now the SDL is trying to figure out what to do with her.¡± Her voice was as intrigued as it was worried. ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± I let out. Amber had told Lily and I about Scarlet¡¯s story, but I hadn¡¯t thought she could actually bypass her banishment. ¡°What¡¯s the SDL?¡± I asked btedly, and when I saw her confused stare, I added, ¡°I was raised by humans in their world.¡± I was used to seeing looks of pity when I told that to adult demons, but getting the same reaction from someone around my age was just weird. ¡°The Servants of the Dark Lord,¡± she rified, ¡°Are you, like, okay? Do you need somewhere to stay?¡± I blushed, half-considering epting her offer and seeing if it went anywhere, before remembering that Kelith was expecting me and that I was in the middle of watching my¡­ ex-mom get arrested. Scarlet yelled something about her contributions to magic, before gesturing threateningly at the nearest SDL person, who didn¡¯t take kindly to the gesture. They raised one finger and flicked it forward. What happened next is hard to piece together, even with the benefit of hindsight. At some point there was a rush of warm air on my face, a blinding light, and a haunting scream, but I couldn¡¯t say what order I experienced them in, nor could I even say whether I¡¯d imagined one or more of them. What I do know is that once the light cleared, the scream stopped, and I finally had the courage to look, Scarlet was gone, reced by a pile of ash. ¡°Huh.¡± I said, before copsing, exhaustion finally catching up to me and throwing me into surprised green arms. ¡ª I gasped. shooting upright in bed. My limbs scrambled around, searching for information in the dark, trying to find my spellcasting materials and prepare for danger. A moment went by and I started to calm, realizing I¡¯d left the materials in my backpack, and while I¡¯d never done anybat spells with subi magic, given how low on energy I¡¯d always been, I could probably improvise a weak fireball in an emergency. I hopped out of the bed and creeped across the wood floors in the dark, moving towards the thin line of light below the door. Faint blocky shapes stuck out on the wall, perhaps paintings or picture frames, but I couldn¡¯t make out the details. The doorknob twisted open under my hand, the slight difference in the feel of the mechanics another reminder that I wasn¡¯t on Earth, and my eyes shut momentarily from the influx of light. The room I¡¯d stepped into was chaotic ¨C vines crept up and down the walls, pooling in the squared corners and flowers blooming across them in shades of pink. The floor, which I¡¯d correctly identified as wood, didn¡¯t have the usual smooth finish, making me worry I¡¯d get a splinter. Each piece of furniture in the living room/kitchenbo was made of one contiguous nt, mostly thin branches that tangled and weaved together in intricate patterns ¨C although I couldn¡¯t tell if the wood was naturally pale or if it was dead and dried. Lastly was the person who lived here, the green-skinned demon that¡¯d been talking to me before I passed out. I hadn¡¯t gotten a chance to notice her features, given the circumstances, but now, with her back turned to me as she hummed her way around the kitchen, I noticed that she didn¡¯t have a tail or horns like many demons, though she did have blue flowers in her hair that, given the context, could¡¯ve been hers. They were only a few centimeters in diameter, yellow dots surrounded by long, thin petals that contrasted with her short green hair. After a moment of awkwardly staring at her, she spun around and saw me, her eyes widening. She strode across the room to grab my hands, looking up at me with concern. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I stared, noticing that she wore a short dress that matched the colour of the flowers in her hair, and that, despite how petite the rest of her body was, she probably needed the bra she wasn¡¯t wearing. ¡°I¡¯m Amaranth and this is my apartment ¨C I carried you here because you were low on magic and we were close by,¡± she continued, oblivious to my gaze and eagerly waiting for my response. I cleared my throat, taking a half-step back from her and her piercing purple eyes. ¡°I¡¯m fine ¨C I think ¨C the portal from the human world took a lot out of me¡­¡± I wasn¡¯t sure how to exin the context for what we¡¯d witnessed, nor was I ready to think about it. ¡°Okay!¡± she let go of my hands and spun back around, floating back into the kitchen, ¡°I¡¯m making food, but if you need more magic too, I can help with that.¡± I blushed, trying to drive away thoughts of the implications I wanted there to be in that statement. My feet carried me forward, stopping when I fell into indecision about where to sit. ¡°I¡¯m Katie, by the way. Sorry if this is rude, but what are you? I¡¯ve only met subi and one devil before and I wasn¡¯t raised here, so¡­¡± I hated how much of an ignorant tourist I felt like in the ce I was supposed to belong. Humans didn¡¯t really care about any demons other than subi ¨C even incubi were an afterthought to them ¨C you were either a subi, or just a ¡®demon¡¯. Amaranth flipped and stirred the vegetables on the skillet above the magical me. ¡°No, that''s not a super rude question ¨C most people will be able to tell what you are without you telling. I¡¯m a dryad!¡± She spun around, tilting her head to show me the dense cluster of flowers on one side. I finally moved again, closing the rest of the distance between us. As I grew nearer, I noticed the subtle differences in her flowers¡¯ colours ¨C the slight changes in brightness and tiny dots of purple on some petals. ¡°Your flowers are really pretty,¡± I said, reaching out as if to touch her flowers, but thinking better of it at thest second, ¡°Can I touch them, Amy?¡± Her pale green cheeks flushed darker. ¡°Amy?¡± Her tone was surprised, but not offended, nor did she pull away. ¡°Yea, a nickname. You brought me home to your bed, I think we¡¯re close enough for nicknames.¡± I smirked, enjoying every bit of her reactions, the little twitches of embarrassment, the exaggerated pout at my assertion, and most of all, the way she stepped slightly closer. ¡°Well then I¡¯m calling you Kat,¡± she dered victoriously. I swiftly countered, ¡°Meow,¡± moving my hand in a mock-wing motion. Giggles escaped me when she finally backed off, her blush deepening. I think I already love it here¡­ ¡ª Of course, I couldn¡¯t flirt with my new nt-y friend forever, and eventually I had to leave, after several reassurances I was okay, and writing down her contact information for when I finally got the Hell version of a phone. Then, after getting lost a few times, I was finally at Kelith¡¯s apartment, my original destination. She was happy to see me, inviting me in and asking if I was hungry. We hadn¡¯t agreed on a specific time to meet, given the uncertainties that came with traveling across worlds, so there was no reason for her to ask about where I¡¯d been. Nheless, after a few minutes of small talk, she asked, ¡°So what¡¯s wrong?¡± I blinked, running my hand over the folded nket beside me on the couch. ¡°Well¡­¡± I took a deep breath, having trouble deciding where to start, ¡°When I went back to Earth and talked with my sister, I found out that the woman that adopted us was Lily¡¯s aunt.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Kelith¡¯s eyebrows shot up, ¡°I never met her ¨C I try to stay away from the iws ¨C but from what I know she¡¯s¡­¡± She hesitated, seeing my grimace. ¡°Yea, she had some issues, but that¡¯s not the important part,¡± I shook my head, ¡°Apparently she was working on ways to get around her banishment, and when I was traveling into Seriza, I saw her; she was sessful.¡± Kelith gasped, throwing a hand over her mouth. ¡°Yea. And the¡­ S-D-L had already found her and¡­¡± I shrugged, looking down. She stood from her chair and crossed the room, sitting back down beside me and wrapping her arms around me. ¡°Shh, it¡¯s okay,¡± she whispered. I shook my head, rubbing my face against the soft fabric of her sweater, confused why she wasforting me. I¡¯m fine, what¡­ And then I realized I was crying and the floodgates opened. I clutched the end of her top, burying my face into it and trying to stifle my sobs. I hate scarlet, I haven¡¯t believed her crap in years, I¡¯ve seen first-hand all of the ways she deliberately fucked us over, and still¡­ I gasped for air, trying to calm my shuddering breaths. After a few deep exhales, I was finally calmed enough to peel myself out of Kelith¡¯s embrace and wipe my face with the back of my wrist. Other than lingering sniffles I was ready to talk. ¡°I need to tell Amber but I don¡¯t think I have the energy to portal back,¡± I said, thinking of the escting costs to portals made in quick session. ¡°Let¡¯s worry about you first ¨C I can have Edith and Zamira deliver a letter for youter,¡± she took a deep breath, ¡°How are you feeling?¡± I puffed out a breath of my own, ¡°Um, it¡¯s just been a lot recently ¨C so much has changed and things have worked out, but¡­ it¡¯s overwhelming,¡± I let out, leaning back into the plush couch and closing my eyes for a moment. ¡°Is there anything you need?¡± Kelith asked, voice soft. ¡°I just want to move on¡­¡± I answered, ¡°If you could help me register for school that would be great, but I¡¯m already thankful you¡¯re letting me stay here.¡± ¡°Oh hush,¡± she stood, shaking her head, ¡°Anything for my cute little granddaughters. Now let¡¯s get you some sweets ¨C that''ll cheer you up.¡± Iughed, following her into the kitchen. ¡°Speaking of sweets, I met the sweetest dryad earlier today¡­¡± Kelith stopped and turned around, narrowing her eyes at me, ¡°I¡¯ve already given this talk to your sister, but¡­¡± I smiled through the embarrassing lecture, happy to finally have found a ce for me. Bonus 3: Sex, Saccharine, and Solemnity Bonus 3: Sex, Sharine, and Solemnity Lily ¡°Huh,¡± I let out, stroking Amber¡¯s cock after putting on one of the condoms Kelith had given me. We¡¯d opened the variety pack ¨C a box with a half dozen different gimmicks ¨C and I¡¯d chosen to start with the clear ultra-thin one, which I couldn¡¯t even tell was on, despite doing it myself. Magic¡­ ¡°Lily¡­¡± Amber whined, motioning towards my bed, where Sophia was watching us, working on getting her own condom on ¨C a blue one that I hadn¡¯t read about yet, although I had gotten a pointed question from Sophia about what I thought about temperature y. I pulled Amber to the bed by my hand and tail, the former still stroking up and down her impressive length, and thetter wrapping around her waist because I couldn¡¯t help myself. We settled onto our backs with meying in the middle, my arms around each of their shoulders. My girlfriends stared into me from each side, their hands snaking up my pink torso to each grab a breast. ¡®Uh oh¡¯ I thought, feeling every bit like vulnerable prey about to be devoured. Unfortunately, they didn¡¯t devour me, at least not immediately ¨C instead gently teasing my nipples with gentle but discordant rhythms, each of them wrapping a leg over my lower body to keep my squirms in check. ¡°Please,¡± I gasped, already ready to give up any pride and beg them for release. Like we¡¯d discussed earlier, however, I was answered by disappointed tutting, and shakes of their heads. ¡°We¡¯re doing this until youe at least once,¡± Amber teased, briefly pinching my right nub. ¡°What?¡± I hissed when Sophia ghosted her foot down my bare left leg, leaving a trail of goosebumps. ¡°I never said¨C¡± A tongue came from my right, sliding up the length of my neck. ¡°You know what to say if it¡¯s too much.¡± I considered talking back more, before deciding I would be better off saving brattiness forter, if I still had the energy. Instead, I let all of my concerns melt out of me, closing my eyes and just feeling. Feeling the tangle of digits on my breasts, the smooth sheets rustling under me as my hips fought against the weight of two bodies pressing me down, and the hot need pulsing between my legs, begging me to untangle my arms and finger myself silly. My hands squeezed the shoulders they were holding, my tail wrapped itself around my thigh, and I let out a trembling moan. Holy shit, I love sex. ¡°I don¡¯t know Amber, she might be ready¡­¡± Amber chuckled, her face still in my neck. ¡°Not even close ¨C sluts love forey.¡± I mewed in agreement. ¡°See? And we haven¡¯t even started marking her,¡± she continued, closing her jaws around a patch of skin on my neck, nibbling and sucking on it as her fingers continued their ceaseless flittering. ¡°Oh,¡± I cried, ¡°Please just fuck me!¡± My head twisted away from Amber, giving her better ess to my neck, and I finally slipped my arm free from her, caressing down her body and beginning to stroke her penis, hoping she would get horny enough to be impatient. Unfortunately, with how her hips were positioned ¨C pointing down into my side ¨C I didn''t have enough room for anything more than little rubs with the tips of my fingers. ¡°Where¡¯s my handjob?¡± Sophia teased, leaning down to nibble across my corbone. I giggled, but it was cut off by another wave of arousal building from my chest. My second hand dropped to mirror the other, and I had to close my eyes again to focus on keeping two rhythms going. Amber¡¯s hips began dragging long strokes into me, the slow speed making me wonder if she was even aware of her own movements. Sophia, on the other hand, was much more vocal with her approval, whispering in my ear, ¡°Yes, fuck, you¡¯re so good at this ¨C you were made for this.¡± She nibbled on the edges of my ear, teeth hungry for my skin. I turned my head to capture her lips with mine, using all of my practice tomunicate how much I appreciated her, every stroke of my lips on hers slow and deliberate. My hands stalled, my focus coalescing all onto one point in front of me: the point where Sophia¡¯s mouth met mine. We slid and sucked and puckered and¨C Holy shit! My hips bucked, the bed creaking in protest under me. I stared at the ceiling, blinking and trying to figure out what had happened. My head tilted down, and I saw Amber trying to hold in augh, her pointer fingerpletely still between my legs. She flicked it up again, dragging the tip through my folds and relishing in the whimper that escaped me. ¡°Oh, she¡¯s ready,¡± Amber said, leaving my side to crawl above my legs, her hen bouncing up and down with each movement. Sophia didn¡¯t object, kissing her way down my neck after my focus had shifted. She also repositioned, heaving her wide hips on top of my abdomen, her covered girldick pping down between my breasts. I shivered at the cool sensationing from the blue rubbery substance, but my focus was still on Amber, waiting for her to finally enter me. Everyone was still for a moment, the air thick with sweat and the sounds of our worked-up panting. Then, Amber¡¯s cock was inside, the thickness parting and stretching me, unimpeded as she bottomed out, a gasp resounding on either side of Sophia. The moment seemed to linger, although I couldn¡¯t say how long Amber remained still. There was just so much to process ¨C yes I could¡¯ve fallen back on, ¡®I¡¯m having sex with them, again¡¯, but that would¡¯ve taken away so much of the joy that came from nuance. It wasn¡¯t just that we were having sex ¨C although that was enjoyable on its face ¨C it was the wild, hungry stare Sophia was giving me, the feeling of my legs wrapped behind Amber¡¯s hips with my tail squeezing one of them, and it was how far I¡¯de since first transforming, how free I was. They began thrusting at about the same time, one between my breasts and the other inside me. My arms syed out, fingers digging into the sheets, trying to anchor me, meaning Sophia had to press my chest together herself to create enough friction to please her. Her hands squeezed into my soft flesh, and I absentmindedly shapeshifted them slightly bigger, enjoying the way her fingers dug into me. Amber, on the other hand, was showing off her athletic prowess, her hips moving in a steady rhythm, only interrupted by little shifts she made to hit me at just the right angle. It didn¡¯t matter that my legs were around her, constantly trying to pull her in; she moved back the same as she did forwards, overpowering my feeble muscles easily. Each thrust threatened to be the one to cause my pleasure to peak ¨C a summit that grew nearly as fast as it was being climbed. Time blurred, carrying my mind as it twisted and warped. Brief moments seemed to linger, details imprinting themselves in my memory, while others weren¡¯t registered at all, lost to the waves of euphoria. At some point, Sophia had climbed off me, insteadying next to me and stroking my chest while she watched Amber and I get closer to our orgasms ¨C it was clear from her gaze that she wanted her turn. My line of sight was unobstructed, letting my eyes meet Amber¡¯s ¨C their intangible embrace one of those things that felt eternal, like we¡¯d never blinked before, nor would we ever in the future. Until the moment ended, my body quaked and my eyes scrunched shut. I threw my head back letting out a long, unrepentant moan, reveling in the warm, tingly ze permeating my skin and the gentle twitches of Amber¡¯s member inside of me. She slid out of me ¨C eliciting a whine from my mouth ¨C revealing her bulging condom, the clear material not concealing one bit of her load. Before we could get wrapped up in Sophia fucking me, I sat up and freed Amber¡¯s gock, holding her seed above my mouth and tilting it back without hesitation. I¡¯m not going to say no to free magic from my girlfriend¡­ I swallowed, savoring the sweet, sticky warmth as it slid down my throat. My eyes nced at the other two, who were watching in fascination. ¡°Alright, next round?¡± I smirked,ying back down and wiggling my hips. ¡ª I groaned, peeling a sticky limb from my chest and sitting up. A yawn escaped me as I nced around, memories of the previous night flowing into my mind piece by piece. My girlfriends were stillying on either side of my body, Amber murmuring in her sleep and clutching at where I¡¯d just been, while Sophia stirred, sleepiness shining through her flutteringshes. My hand reached down to cup her cheek, my fingers gently scritching under her chin. She¡¯s so cute when she¡¯s sleepy. I continued petting her until she fully woke up, causing us to switch roles, meying in herp and enjoying headpats until Amber had slept enough. Once we were all awake, it was time to n our day. I started the conversation, ¡°So are you two taking me on dates today?¡± ¡°Sophia and I talked about it, and we agreed that three-person dates are ideal whenever we¡¯re all free; if it¡¯s only a pair, the person leftover will be lonely ¨C stupid odd numbers¡­¡± ¡°Hmmm, we could always look for a fourth,¡± I countered, only half-joking. ¡°Uh, gals? You both have sses today, and there¡¯s no way I¡¯m letting Lily skip ¨C unless she¡¯smitting to dropping out.¡± I groaned at Sophia¡¯s reminder ¨C during my time in Hell, I forgot about all the torture I had to deal with on Earth. ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll go to human school,¡± I grumbled, ¡°We¡¯re going out this evening, though; there¡¯s no way I¡¯m waiting until Saturday for my date.¡± Sophia gave me a sinister smile, ¡°Sure, as long as you finish your homework and study for any tests you have.¡± How hard could it be? ¡ª It was Saturday, and I was finally free from eternal damnation ¨C meaning I could get my date. Each of my girlfriends had nned something, with Sophia¡¯s nsing first, in the afternoon, whereas Amber¡¯s were set to happen after dinner. No matter how much I¡¯d begged since Wednesday, they wouldn¡¯t tell me anything about their ns, telling me that I didn''t even need to n my wardrobe ahead of time, given my magic. I¡¯d never been so disappointed about being a subus. I bounced off the walls all morning ¨C probably driving Amber crazy ¨C Sophia arrived and, after a reminder that I wasn¡¯t supposed to be outside as a demon, we were off. My first surprise came when she led us to the parking lot and into a car, a worn, white sedan ¨C I think I¡¯d known at one point that she could drive, but I didn¡¯t think she owned a car. True to my expectations, as we rolled out of the parking lot, Sophia exined she¡¯d borrowed the car from a ssmate of hers that owed her a favour. ¡°How nice of her,¡± I chirped in the backseat, my good mood making me giddy, ¡°Maybe I should repay her with a pleasant dream¡­¡± I giggled when Amber turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°You could¡¯ve been in my dreams this whole time?¡± sheined. Sophia shook her head, maintaining her gaze on the road, ¡°One, it was a guy, and two, Amber sleeps in whenever we have sex ¨C I don¡¯t think we want to find out what would happen if she was having sex in her dreams¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m down for some dreamy guy,¡± I grinned into the rear-view mirror, ¡°and maybe I can take Amber along with me ¨C it can¡¯t be that bad, right?¡± She sighed, ¡°You two do whatever you want ¨C but I reserve the right to say I told you so if Amber sleeps for two days straight.¡± ¡°No, Sophia¡¯s right,¡± Amber groaned, ¡°I need to get back into exercising more ¨C exercise that isn¡¯t sex,¡± she rified, ring at me. ¡°Anyways, what else can we talk about?¡± I hummed in thought, ¡°Not to bring down the mood too much, but your mom isn¡¯t going to bother us, right?¡± She shook her head, ¡°No, there¡¯s nothing for her to gain by disrupting our date ¨C pretty much anything active she does to mess with us will just anger me, which, if she¡¯s ying the long game as far as winning me over is concerned, is counterproductive. Also, she¡¯spletely missing ¨C like the staff at the coven ran out of instructions, which is unusual. But whatever has her attention is probably unrted to us, so we should be fine.¡± I shrugged, ¡°If you say so.¡± Sophia nced at me in the mirror, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Lily, your big strong girlfriends will protect you.¡± I blushed, and tried to ignore the way her teasing made me feel, knowing that if the three of us got started on sex, we¡¯d never make it to our date. ¡°So Amber, how¡¯re your sisters?¡± Her smile dropped briefly, before picking back up, ¡°They¡¯re good ¨C Serena is about to graduate high school, and she¡¯s old enough to have given up on being a witch, which makes me happy for her. She¡¯s going to college out of state, and while I¡¯ll miss her, I kind of hope she stays away for her sake,¡± Amber pursed her lips, ¡°Then there¡¯s Elizabeth, she¡¯s twelve and she loves reading, I remember when I was still in high school, she¡¯d beg me to read her stories before bed. These days, whenever I¡¯m home, she shows me the pile of books she got from the library that she¡¯s read since I wasst there.¡± She chuckled, rolling her head to stare sadly out the window. ¡°I¡¯m worried for them¡­ I guess I¡¯ve known for a long time that our mother wasn¡¯t the most attentive parent, but we had our nannies and our maids¡­ but with what I know now, I can¡¯t help but feel like the situation is constantly about to explode¡­¡± I sighed, wishing she¡¯d sat in the back so I could hug her. ¡°Is there someone you could rely on if things go badly with your mom? Like some kind of ally or¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± ¡°What about Chris¡¯s family?¡± Sophia asked. ¡°Maybe,¡± Amber said, not sounding excited about the idea, ¡°They probably have the means to take in a couple dozen kids in-the-know, but I feel like I owe him way more than he owes me, and the younger girls aren¡¯t used to being around boys¡­¡± ¡°I think you should float the idea by him, even if you don¡¯t think anything¡¯lle of it. I¡¯m sure he¡¯d be happy to help look for solutions, and if his family has some less hostile rtions with other magical factions, that could help.¡± ¡°Okay. Worse case scenario is I either get the mundane government involved, or go to a rival witch coven,¡± Amber turned around again, love beaming from her face, ¡°Thank you, Lily.¡± I blushed, squirming back into my seat. How am I going to survive this date, when I can hardly deal with one of them at once? From there, it wasn¡¯t much further to Sophia¡¯s destination. As our surroundings grew more inundated with trees and the road shrunk, I got an idea of where we were going, which was finally confirmed when we turned into the parking lot for the state park surrounding ake. As I got out of the car and stretched, pulling my arms up in the air and groaning while my girlfriends watched, I examined the area we¡¯dnded in. Theke itself wasn¡¯t very big, especially when considering how much it¡¯d visibly shrank due to climate change, but there was more than enough water to give the breeze a slight chill. I shifted my clothes to be a bit warmer and more practical for hiking, choosing a set of boots, straight-legged pants, and an oversized sweater. The forest surrounding theke was dry, the scents being more woody than musky, and the trees hadn¡¯t fully regrown their green coats this early in spring, nor were there any flowers in bloom. Sophia grabbed a basket from the trunk, and, apologizing that it wasn¡¯t the perfect season, led us down one of the trails. The hike was quiet, the forest not providing any more sounds than we did, as we only spoke to point out interesting things we saw. Sophia liked to notice nts, telling us the species of the vines creeping out to escape the rotting tree they were affixed to, and pointing at Poison Ivy whenever it was in reach. Amber was more focused on fungi ¨C although she also liked particrly fuzzy patches of moss ¨C being a bit less sessful at identifying every one, but she actually picked a couple and stored them in a bag in her backpack, exining that they could be useful for magic ¨C apparently wild grown mushrooms were stronger magically than anything a home garden could produce. Lastly, there was me, trying my hardest to spot animals. We heard rustles in bushes as we walked through the winding trail, but it was rare to catch even a glimpse of the creatures responsible. The path started widening, the trees opening up, and just as I was about toment about how we could all walk side-by-side now, we reached the end. It was obvious that this was where we were going, even if Sophia hadn¡¯t verbalized it. The forest opened up into a meadow, the grass well-maintained for how out of the way it was, never reaching higher than my ankles. Theke was visible, a cliff in that direction providing the height for us to see over the trees and over arge portion of the park, the roof of the forest swaying in the breeze and the surface of the water rippling with short waves. Perhapster in the spring, the grass would¡¯ve had flowers growing, and in the summer there would be more activity around, both from animals as well as humans, but there, in the serenity of the cool weather, it was like getting up in the morning before everyone else and seeing the city right before it awoke: we had the whole world to ourselves. While I¡¯d been monologuing in my head, Sophia had set up a pic,ying out a nket from her basket along with a tter of tiny sandwiches and fresh fruit. She sat cross legged and patted the spaces next to her. ¡°Let me feed you two,¡± her tone and expression were devoid of any sign of teasing. I nced at Amber, who was showing a simr mix of interest and hesitancy to what I was feeling, before shyly settling onto the nket, my legs tucked under me. Amber followed, watching in fascination as Sophia picked up one of the bite-sized sandwiches, used her other hand to open my jaw ¨C her thumb pressing my chin down ¨C and carefully ced the food in my mouth, her fingers barely brushing my lips. I stared at her for a moment, btedly remembering I was supposed to chew and swallow. I¡­ why do I like this? I decided to just let it be, clinging to Sophia¡¯s side as she turned her focus to Amber, feeding her a strawberry first. Watching them wasn¡¯t erotic, although it felt like it should¡¯ve been. Instead, it was pleasant ¨C the knowledge that Sophia both enjoyed this and somehow knew the two of us would enjoy this implying a level of oneness that I hadn¡¯t felt thus far, even during the highs of sex. She continued, taking turns with us, never consistent about the way she did it nor the items she chose. Once she ced a grape between her lips and I thought she was taking it for herself ¨C she¡¯d asionally been feeding herself ¨C but instead, she brought her lips to mine, pressing the fruit into my mouth with her tongue. Again, there was the urge in the back of my mind to be horny, but she was so calm, so gentle, that it was hard to do anything other than melt, my chest warming as much as my cheeks. I¡¯d grown somewhat desensitized to the sensation of getting more magical energy, but with how little Sophia was touching me and how much intimacy I was feeling, each time her skin brushed mine, it was hot, little tingles scattering across me as the heat radiated from the site of contact. Amber, on the other hand, started off blushing and shyly ncing at me every few seconds, but once I picked up that she was feeling anxious about me seeing her being submissive for Sophia, I extended my hand across Sophia¡¯sp, sping hers, and she rxed, her focus now on the woman between us and what she was doing. As the sun peaked in the sky and began its descent, we ran out of food, Amber and I instead opting to cuddle with our girlfriend¡¯s soft body, meying my head in herp and Amber leaning on her shoulder. I tried to conjure a fuzzy sweater to use as a nket, but as soon as I wasn¡¯t ¡®wearing¡¯ it, it vanished. I fussed with it, trying to figure out the rules for what counted as wearing something and what didn¡¯t, before giving up and having the other twoy on their backs, me on top wearing an outeryer twice the size of my body. My back was to them as we all watched the clouds in our cuddle pile. Amber snuck a hand under my top and gently stroked my stomach, her fingers cold on my skin. Sophia was more still, with one of her arms behind Amber¡¯s neck, and the other wrapped over the top of my chest. I sighed, bliss carrying my mind away. ¡ª I¡¯d fallen asleep ¨C really someone should¡¯ve seen thising ¨C and neither of the other two had wanted to wake me up, so instead of going out to dinner next, we skipped straight to Amber¡¯s ns: bar hopping. My birthday had passed right before I left Hell and I hadn¡¯t told anyone about it then, but Amber had apparently been waiting for me to reach drinking age so we could get up to mischief around town. Sophia, while being old enough to drink, opted to stay sober and keep an eye on us. We started off in a boring cowboy-themed ce, with me briefly panicking at the door, before remembering I¡¯d been given a new, slightly dubious ID card from my college¡¯s administration when I¡¯d turned in my paperwork. Inside, country music sted on the speakers, loud enough for me to struggle to understand anyone standing more than six inches away from me, but low-quality enough for me to struggle toprehend the lyrics either, not that I was particrly interested. ¡°This is the kind of ce that makes you want to drink,¡± Amber justified, making her way over to the bar, ¡°Just wait ¡®till you see the hangout spot for all of the magic people around town, The Witch¡¯s Brew. I¡¯ll remind you again then, but don¡¯t use any magic there or we¡¯ll get kicked out.¡± I nodded, eyes darting around at the endless sea of cowboy-boot-wearing blondes, the square dancing going on in one corner, and the dart boards on the wall. Amber handed me a ss, but it was tiny ¨C like only a few inches tall ¨C so I tipped it back, swishing the clear liquid around my mouth to savor the taste. My stomach heaved and I grimaced, swallowing regretfully, while my girlfriends watched in amusement. ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me I wasn¡¯t supposed to taste it¡­¡± I groaned. Amber rolled her eyes before downing her own drink, ¡°You didn¡¯t give me time to exin,¡± she turned to Sophia, ¡°So, you betting on her passing out after that one shot, or do you think her demon metabolism will make her immune to alcohol?¡± Sophia chuckled, eyeing me, ¡°Oh, she¡¯s going to be such a mess and get us kicked out of at least one bar.¡± There¡¯s no way it can be that bad right? I just have to keep reminding myself to act normal¡­ Thankfully, we didn¡¯t spend much longer among the country folk, not even bothering to y any pool or darts, nor did we get on the dancefloor. Sophia drove us again, navigating her way out of the sea of pickup trucks that was the parking lot, and made her way downtown, where we could walk between ces, and where Amber told us our final destination was. Thete evening air was pleasant on my skin ¨C I¡¯d opted for a ck dress simr to the one the first time I¡¯d gone out as myself with Chris ¨C and as we strolled down the weathered sidewalk, passing by the streetlights that¡¯d had their wiring stolen and skirting around suspicious stains on the ground, my eyes floated around,paring sights here to Hell. If we hadn¡¯t had two mages ¨C me and Amber ¨C I would¡¯ve been terrified out of my mind to walk around unprotected, the abandoned storefronts and narrow alleys providing plenty of cover for evildoers. Given how much energy I had, however, I felt invincible ¨C I could probably beat my aunt even. I bounced ahead of my girlfriends and turned to walk backward, shouting past them, ¡°Come and get me Scarlet ¨C I¡¯ll use the power of friendship to defeat you!¡± Sophia giggled, while Amber nced around, a blush on her cheek, before covering her eyes with her hand and shaking her head. ¡°What?¡± I looked down at myself, trying to see if I was doing something strange, ¡°This is how I normally act, right?¡± I tripped on a crack I couldn¡¯t see, windmilling my arms to avoid falling. ¡°See, I¡¯m still coordinated too.¡± ¡°Oh god, she¡¯s only one drink in¡­¡± Sophiaughed, grabbing my wrist when I walked past our next destination. The next bar we entered was more diverse. People young and old, fluid and awkward, danced in the crowded mess of bodies and lights, the music thumping through the building, each beat resonating in my shoes. Once I consumed my second drink, everything became oversaturated, my eyes seeing an animated painting of abstract colours rather than individual bodies. The three of us found our own corner to let loose, Sophia being surprisingly willing to engage with us while sober, and Amber and I not caring about anything outside of our little group. I couldn¡¯t stop touching them, little strokes up Amber¡¯s midriff and brushes against Sophia¡¯s rear. Each time, they¡¯d smile knowingly at me, and I¡¯d smirk back, begging them with my eyes to take it further. Unfortunately, while they did reciprocate, grinding into me from either side, we never made it as far as a kiss. From there, my memories blurred and bled together. I remember entering The Witch¡¯s Brew, but not how we got there ¨C of course, the moment I entered was particrly memorable, almost as much as the moment I left. If I¡¯d been there a year ago ¨C well, first I would¡¯ve tried to lecture anyone who¡¯d pretend to listen about why drinking alcohol was a sin, but after that I would¡¯ve assumed the ce was for cosyers. In one corner two tables were pushed together to host a group of over a dozen, the vast majority of whom wore nnel and jeans over their hairy limbs ¨C with once noticeable exception being a blonde girl with smooth skin and a frilly dress. All over the room were women wearing pointy ck hats, and while some of them had robes to match, others had seeminglye from school or work and thrown their hat on top with no regard for cohesion. I turned to Amber, ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me we were supposed to dress up,¡± Iined, ¡°Where¡¯s your silly hat?¡± She dodged my hand as it tried to ruffle her hair. ¡°I don¡¯t even own one of those, they¡¯re stupid,¡± she grumbled, walking to the bar, ¡°And don¡¯t change your clothes, Lily ¨C no magic allowed.¡± I nodded and saluted her, zig-zagging across the ground to avoid the sticky spots. The room itself was a mixed mess of worn antiques and disposable cheapness. Just as many tables were hefty hunks of stained wood as were folding tables, and the walls were thick, absorbing the sound of dozens of voices, while the floor was creakyminate and constantly threatened to give out beneath my wandering steps. When we got to the bar, I was taken aback by the bartender, a pink-skinned fairy girl who couldn¡¯t¡¯ve been more than four foot six. ¡°Whoah,¡± I gawped, leaning over the counter, ¡°You¡¯re so cool ¨C I¡¯m Lily and I¡¯m a subus, what¡¯re you, are you fey?¡± I turned to Amber, ¡°Katie said fey aren¡¯t real.¡± Amber shook her head, ¡°Sorry Vivian, my girlfriend is a bit sloshed, could I get a potion of alertness for her and a lime draught of courage for me?¡± Vivian nodded, ncing at me with haughty distaste before fluttering her translucent wings and preparing our drinks. Amber turned to me, whispering, ¡°Vivian is a fairy, and you¡¯re probably not supposed to tell people you¡¯re a demon ¨C demons aren¡¯t super popr around here.¡± ¡°Aww, but how¡¯re we gonna find a good fourth if I¡¯m not honest?¡± I turned to Sophia, ¡°C¡¯mon, don¡¯t you agree?¡± She giggled, ¡°I don¡¯t know, Amber, she has a point¡­¡± Amber rolled her eyes ¨C a smile on her lips betraying her ¨C before taking the drinks, thanking Vivian, and looking for a table. That night ¨C and most nights, as Amber wouldter exin ¨C seats are a precious resource that weren¡¯t bound by the limiting factors of tension between factions or personal space. During the day however, the ce apparently functioned as a ce to y table-top games, the cheap folding tables being a relic of that. Of course, with my brain bouncing around my head, I didn¡¯t pick up on any of this, instead focusing on walking as straight as possible. It was a relief to finally sit down, but the fact that we¡¯d only found two seats meant I had to sit in Sophia¡¯sp. I sipped on my green beverage, enjoying the ambiance ¨C which was made even better by Sophia running her fingers through my hair ¨C although I was annoyed everyone else was allowed to visibly be themselves, whereas I was supposed to be stealthy about it, as if I was ashamed of it. ¡°Are you ashamed to be dating a subus?¡± I blurted out, starting at Amber. Her eyes widened, ¡°What? No!¡± She paused, taking a stare at her drink and mulling the question over beyond her gut reaction, ¡°Does it really feel like that to you? I¡¯m just¡­ I worry that being open about it will put you in danger.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if it feels like that,¡± my body slumped back into Sophia, ¡°I¡¯m drunk ¨C you should kiss me to prove it, though.¡± My mind was already lost, floating away on a new tangent as I stared hungrily at her lips, my teeth shifting to their sharp demon versions. All at once, everyone in the building froze, silence echoing on the heavy walls. Sparkly yellow dust floated in the air around my head, travelling upwards as it was taken away by a draft. I twisted my head, meeting as many of the shocked and wary gazes as I could. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said, not sounding at all like I meant it, ¡°When I get horny I shapeshift, it¡¯s not my fault!¡± Amber pinched her brow and Sophia¡¯s torso vibrated as she struggled to contain her giggles. I continued yelling, ¡°Well?! Are y''all gonna stop staring, or is someone going to throw me out of this shithole?¡± They stopped staring, conversations hesitantly being picked up again. I boggled for a moment, before regaining myposure and looking at Amber smugly, ¡°See, everything¡¯s fine¡­¡± I took another swig from my drink, wondering when the alertness it supposedly provided was going to kick in. Amber on the other hand, was looking practically sober, shaking her head and drinking from her own light green cocktail and then giving it a confused stare. ¡°Ugh,¡± I groaned, leaning back into Sophia¡¯s hand as it continued to pet me, ¡°What is there to do in this ce if we aren¡¯t allowed to fuck around with magic?¡± Amber shook her head again, ¡°Magic isn¡¯t something to mess around with for humans ¨C and for most people this is either a ce to make supernatural connections, or to hang out somewhere where causing a fuss is more trouble than it¡¯s worth.¡± One of the women with a pointy hat sat down in a seat that¡¯d just opened up behind Amber, and when Amber saw her, she grimaced, continuing, ¡°Case in point, this is May ¨C girl who my mom might¡¯ve hired to kill me. And May, these are my girlfriends, please don¡¯t murder them.¡± May raised an eyebrow at Amber, and slowly nced towards me and Sophia. She hardly moved, her face stuck on the half-frown she¡¯d had since noticing Amber. She was tall, with long, wavy blonde hair and blue eyes and sharp features. When she spoke, her voice was a mix of haughtiness and brattiness that didn¡¯t align with her aloof stare. ¡°Your mother may have hired me, but like any self-respecting witch who has had the misfortune of dealing with her, I took the payment upfront and ran.¡± ¡°Hehe, may have hired you¡­¡± I chuckled, unable to help myself ¨C although to my credit, Sophiaughed behind me. The witches weren¡¯t as amused, shooting me dirty looks with frowns on their faces. I pressed forwards, my mind thrumming with confidence as I downed thest of my drink, ¡°Hey May,¡± I giggled, ¡°Are you gay?¡± I doubled over, unable to see her reaction while I belted out long cackles. Once I was finally able to straighten myself up, I saw two unamused witches staring at me. Amber spoke, ¡°Lily, I love you, but there¡¯s no way I¡¯mfortable with you fucking my rival.¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t fucking!¡± May protested. I gasped, ¡°You love me, really?¡± I leaned forwards, almost sliding off Sophia¡¯sp, but she grabbed my waist, holding me secure. Amber blushed, mumbling, ¡°Stupid alcohol, making me say things I¡¯m not ready for¡­¡± she nced at her almost empty drink. I gasped again, this time teasing. ¡°So you don¡¯t really mean it?¡± My eyes widened and I put on my best pouty face. Her face flicked to my direction, ¡°No no no¡­¡± she nced away again, ¡°I¡¯m just embarrassed¡­¡± Sophia¡¯s arms wrapped around my torso, finally pulling me all the way back into her. Her finger came up to brush my hair away from my ear, and then her lips leaned close. ¡°I love you too.¡± My eyes closed reflexively and tingles shot all over my body. I didn¡¯t bother trying to resist as an influx of magic overwhelmed me, transforming me into my demonic form,plete with a totally-not-a-wedding-gown white dress clothing me. This time I didn¡¯t notice the stares and the quiet, given that I was too busy feeling overwhelmed by my magic in a way that I hadn¡¯t ever before. I looked up at the ceiling, prayed that it wasn¡¯t mmable, and let out a long belch of fire, burning off my excess energy. When I was finally able to look down and see everyone else, there were just as many shocked expressions as there were fearful ones ¨C the werewolves in particr looked excited, like they¡¯d just seen a scheduled fireworks show. I held my hands up and stood, motioning my girlfriends towards the door, ¡°Fine, fine ¨C I¡¯m leaving, no magic allowed, I got it.¡± Dozens of gazes followed me to the door. ¡°Bye May, nice to meet you!¡± I shouted over my shoulder. Back in the cool night air, the three of us stood on the sidewalk, each ncing between the other two. ¡°Welp, that went about as expected,¡± Amber said. ¡°Honestly surprised she didn¡¯t somehow get into a fight,¡± Sophia added. ¡°I love you two too,¡± I giggled, prancing away into the night. ¡ª I woke up, first noticing that someone had stuffed my brain with cotton, and second that my limbs were tangled with Amber¡¯s. A groan escaped my lips as I sat up,menting the fact that my biology didn¡¯t make me immune to hangovers. My girlfriend stirred next to me, the wince on her face indicating that she was no better off. I searched for Sophia, but didn¡¯t find her, despite the fact that it was her dorm room ¨C but I did find something interesting, which was a set of w marks on a pillow on the floor, some of the stuffing falling out. I stood and threw the pillow back towards Amber, not ready to deal with whatever that was. My wobbly legs, sore from whatever had happened the previous night, carried me to the desk, where I searched for a note. Just as I was starting to get worried, the door opened, and Sophia entered, carrying arge paper bag. She pointed to her nightstand, which had two water bottles on it, and set about removing her shoes. Amber stirred as I drank the water and Sophia pulled bagels and cream cheese out of her bag, setting them on the desk. I immediately snapped up a in one, biting in without bothering to slice it. ¡°So, how are you two doing?¡± Sophia asked, failing to suppress a smug grin. Amber groaned, making her way into the desk chair and slicing open an everything bagel with careful precision ¨C or perhaps lethargy. ¡°It was worth it,¡± she answered, narrowing her eyes, ¡°At least I think so, it¡¯s all kind of blurry after we left The Witch¡¯s Brew.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need to have a functioning memory to know I did something stupid ¨C let¡¯s leave that behind for now. I need to make my way to church.¡± I chimed in. My girlfriends froze, staring at me with concern all over their faces. ¡°Uh¡­ exactly how much of your memory did you lose?¡± Sophia asked. ¡°Wait, did I never tell you guys?¡± I groaned, annoyed at how many things I was supposed to talk about with them after I got back from my trip, but not surprised I¡¯d forgotten at least one. ¡°I wanted to go talk to my dad onest time, with all of the new information I got. I don¡¯t think it¡¯ll change his mind¡­ but he at least deserves to know he was being manipted.¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± Amberined, ¡°Why do you have to be so nice and forgiving?¡± She shook her head, ¡°Sorry, I like that about you, and I understand why you¡¯re trying to have a rtionship with him, it''s just¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯re worried,¡± Sophia finished, cing a hand on Amber¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Exactly. We don¡¯t want to see you get hurt again.¡± I swallowed the bite of bagel in my mouth. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. I¡¯m brimming with magic so he doesn¡¯t pose me a threat physically, and emotionally¡­ well if I cry that¡¯s that. I have you two to support me and he can¡¯t take that away.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t want you to cry in the first ce.¡± Amber leaned in, staring up at me with pleading eyes. Sophia sighed, squeezing Amber¡¯s shoulder, ¡°If you¡¯re set on doing this, are you at least okay with using with you?¡± I turned away, blushing. I¡¯d been nning to go alone, to deal with it on my own as much as possible. ¡°Well¡­¡± ¡°Lily¡­¡± they harmonized, disappointment on Sophia¡¯s face and exasperation on Ambers. ¡°Okay¡­ You¡¯re right, it makes more sense for you toe with,¡± I sighed, annoyed with myself for not realizing that in the first ce. ¡°Thanks for supporting me.¡± I pulled them into an awkward hug, one arm around Amber who was still sitting down, and the other behind Sophia¡¯s lower back. ¡°I love you both.¡± ¡ª Thankfully, Sophia still had the car, meaning the trip over was painless, and if necessary, our escape would be swift. I¡¯d texted my father earlier, asking him to meet me in the graveyard after mass. He¡¯d thankfully agreed, but the ¡®Okay¡¯ I¡¯d received wasn¡¯t exactly enthusiastic. On the drive over, Amber had sat in the back this time, using the middle seat to stay close and try tofort my fraying nerves as I worried over how to best express myself. The walk through the graveyard was simrly scary, my fears propped up and fed by the mournful atmosphere. I didn¡¯t know what I was particrly afraid of, however, making attempting to squash those fears annoying. I wasn¡¯t feeling unsure of my identity at all, and there was nothing my father could say to change that. Nor was I interested in what he had to say about Mom. The closest I came to identifying my feelings was that I was afraid of being disappointed ¨C which was a strange thing that defied definition. I already have low expectations, how could I even be disappointed? Is expecting to be disappointed even a thing? Atst, we reached the grave, my feelings on itpletely different since I wasst here. Or maybe they weren¡¯t. I was still sad for the names of dead people I¡¯d never met, it¡¯s just that now I knew that one of them, one that was arguably more important than the others, was alive. Scanning the names once more, I wondered if Katie¡¯s parents were there. I also wondered if Zamira had known any of the victims of her sister, if they¡¯d ever argued about what Scarlet had been doing. Maybe Scarlet was secretive, pretending she was reasonable and safe ¨C or maybe Zamira didn¡¯t care, maybe the others on the list were all crazed murderers. It seemed unlikely. I turned towards the main building, and saw tickles of the congregation leaving, flowing out into the parking lots. It was finally time. Another dozen or so minutes passed before I saw my father, who was wearing a white button-up and ck cks, indicating he hadn¡¯t given a sermon today. His expression was impassive as he strode towards us, taking care to use the walkways to avoid stepping on anyone¡¯s grave. He only met my gaze once, when he turned onto a path facing directly at me, his eyes quickly shifting to look past me. He stopped a few feet from the three of us, ncing at my girlfriends with a resigned sadness, before looking at me with a raise of his eyebrows that asked, ¡®Well?¡¯ ¡°Um¡­¡± I hesitated, forgetting what I¡¯d wanted to tell him, what I¡¯d hoped to aplish with it. ¡°She¡¯s alive,¡± I pointed to the grave, ¡°We met in Hell ¨C she¡¯s nice I guess.¡± His eyebrows lowered to a neutral stance, and he crossed his arms, but otherwise refused to react. ¡°Her sister manipted you,¡± I exined, ¡°Drove you apart on purpose for her own ends.¡± His voice started out slow, like he was tired of being here already, but it picked up steam as his passion grew, at its highest sounding barely interested. ¡°Of course the demons were deceiving me. I fail to see how you think I¡¯d fall for you saying that every other demon is a liar except you.¡± ¡°Dad, I¨C¡± ¡°You reveal your nature to me, engage in debauchery,¡± he waved his hand towards my girlfriends, ¡°And now you¡¯re telling me you¡¯ve been to Hell? I¡¯d held out hope for you for a while, but there are limits to my ability to help you if you refuse to let me.¡± ¡°Dad, I¡¯m just a person,¡± I pleaded, tears falling despite my best efforts, ¡°Hell is just a ce ¨C I don¡¯t get how you can just turn off your empathy because who I am makes you ufortable.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t reason with sin,¡± he stated, before turning around and retracing his steps, every movement of his body, every confident step suggesting that he¡¯d just won the argument. I red,yers of anger building on top of our frustrating conversation. Heat built in my chest, and just when I was about to yell after him, two hands stopped me, one on each shoulder. I turned around, sighed, and hugged my girlfriends, melting their concerned expressions. Before leaving, I took onest look at the gravestone. It was strange, mourning a different parent than I hadst time, but whereas before I¡¯d felt like I¡¯d lost everything, this time, I had more than I knew what to do with. I took one girlfriend in each hand, pulling them forward. ¡°C¡¯mon, if we hurry home we can have a few rounds of sex before Sophia has to go to her dorm,¡± I giggled. The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!