《Odyssey of Life》


 Chapter One: Head Over Heels

    It is strange how almost drowning changed my perception of time. My hair had dried a few hours ago. It was only a few hours ago that I nearly drowned to death. I knew that I couldn¡¯t have been very long in the river, or I would be dead. And yet, it had been a time suspended in a seemingly eternal moment. A few more seconds under water would have been the difference between my surviving or not. I am sure of this.


    Despite the heat and humidity bearing down on me like a blanket, I shivered. I was exhausted, more exhausted than that time I had worked four shifts in a row. But I couldn¡¯t sleep. I kept thinking back to it. Already in my mind I had titled what had happened as The River. It was an innocently ambiguous name that reflected none of my inner turmoil. It made it easier to think of it, than if I had called it The Time I Had Almost Died or more morbidly, The Time I Still Might Die.


    I tried calling out for help after crawling on to the river bank, before my adrenaline had run out and I became too weak to do anything at all. I saw no roads or dirt paths. The flora around me was beautifully wild, and clearly untouched. This would have scared me more if I hadn¡¯t nearly drowned so shortly before.


    The surroundings here were strikingly different from where I had fallen into the water. It defined even more clearly a before and an after The River. Even though I wanted to rest, my thoughts were going in circles vividly recollecting the time I was underwater. It had truly felt as if there had been something alive around me. Pushing me down, under and then up for a short choked breath before pulling me down again, tumbling head over heels. There had been such a loud roaring the whole time. Roaring and screaming and darkness.


    The river was still close by, moving sluggishly, in an inviting friendly way. I had been unable to move far, barely able to reach the large tree I now sat under.


    ***


    I didn¡¯t remember falling asleep but I must have, my eyes opening after hearing a strange grunting noise. A few feet away, directly opposite of me, was a giant bear. This being the first time I had seen one, I couldn¡¯t say what kind it was. But it was big. It had a light honey colored fur with dark spots. We locked eyes.


    After The River I had gained a newfound respect for nature. It seemed like the most natural thing to slowly nod to the bear. My body ached and even that little movement was hard. Still, I kept eye contact. Looking into the bear¡¯s eyes was surprisingly comforting. In the river, everything had been either dark or blurred. Here and now with the bear, it was crystal clear what was happening. We were communicating with each other. This time my perceived threat had eyes and ears. There was a great relief to that.


    As we studied one another, my breathing relaxed. The bear had long and luscious fur, that must have been hot in this weather. Its eyes, no ¨C her eyes I corrected myself realizing that the bear was female, were dark brown and piercingly intelligent. Then, as slowly as I had nodded to her, she turned her head and ambled away, until she disappeared from sight.


    I sighed. It had been a beautiful moment, to see and be seen. Fear seemed to have temporarily left me. With The River fresh in mind, almost nothing was as terrifying compared to that. I lay down under the tree and fell into a deep sleep.


    When the next day came, for a blissful moment, I had forgotten where I was. My hand reached out looking for my blanket to cover myself, the touch of dirt instead confused me. That is when it all came back, with this realization the sounds around me abruptly seemed to turn on, the sharp cries of birds, the gurgling of the river and an incessant noise of insects.


    Opening my eyes they felt crusty and gummy, such as after a long sleep, and indeed, the sun was shining strongly halfway through the sky attesting to that. The weakness from yesterday had turned into the strongest case of sore muscles I had experienced. Every stretch I did, made something pop and I swear I could hear creaking. The symphony of sounds my body was making made me smile. An unexpected optimism was rising inside of me. After yesterday, I felt invincible. I survived. Moreover, I was rested and I knew that if I followed the river, I had chances of finding civilization.


    Getting up I realized that perhaps there was a more pressing matter, hunger. I was ravenous. All I had was the shirt and jeans I wore, even my sneakers were gone. I had kicked them off under water because they had weighed me down. Heading to the river took less than a minute. I stared down at it. It was nothing like the nightmarish giant of rushing water that I had in mind. Instead, it was calm and rather narrow, more like a large stream.


    Carefully, I kneeled down and stretched my arms out so that as much of my body as possible was on the river bank. Only my cupped hands were above the water. My arms had always been slightly longer than proportional to my body. That length allowed me to feel secure, keeping my body firmly on the earth, while enabling me to reach the water. Dipping my hands into the water and bringing them to my mouth, I drank many rounds in this way. I had minimal knowledge of vegetation and as far as I knew this was to be my sustenance until I found civilization.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Follow the river, find civilization and head home. Only three steps. That is what I told myself as I began walking. The day passed in a blur, with night coming quickly. Again, I found a tree curl under. It was a far cry from the rest I had the night before. The ground was hard, and although the weather was balmy, I longed for a blanket. The night was unclouded, the sky full of stars untouched by pollution, even the moon seemed larger than normal. Then slowly before my eyes, another light formed in the sky. A second moon was rising, a reflection of the first. As it rose I couldn¡¯t keep my eyes off of it, barely blinking. When it rose and shined fully, I stared for a while and consciously shut my eyes. I tried to sleep but the sight of the moons were imprinted on my eyelids. I wanted to peek again, had I truly seen what I thought I had? I was afraid.


    I had learned my deepest fear slowly. It was a deeply rooted fear that even The River had not surpassed or shaken. The first time I experienced it, I didn''t understand. It was years ago, as I was walking with my two year younger sister to middle school. There in the grass, an intricate carving on a piece of wood had caught my eye.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I pointed and said. As we headed nearer there was no piece of wood at all. I thought it had been a trick of the eye and thought not much of it other than a small disquietness.


    But then more occurrences such as those began to happen, I saw something and it wasn¡¯t there or it was different on a second or third glance. I thought I was losing my mind, that it was slipping through my fingers. I withdrew from my friends and kept to myself. After graduating, I began again to be the more social person I had been, although never as free or quick to speak as before. My parents chalked it up as a phase of teenage angst, albeit a long one.


    However, the tricks, as I began to call them, never lasted beyond a third blink. Not looking at something doesn¡¯t change what is there, I reminded myself. It is as ridiculous as an ostrich with its head in the sand, I continued. Neither sayings are helpful when I doubt my grasp on reality. In my mind''s eye, I gathered the loose strings of my bravery that had come undone, I braided them back together and opened my real eyes. Both moons were still there. I blinked, blinked again and breathed deeply. Third blink, and they were as calmly and motionlessly there as before. I turned over and slept uneasily, the night was too bright.


    The days that followed, I walked and walked alongside the river. Its role became as fluid as the water it was made up of. It was my companion, my provider and sometimes source of my fear. With my belief that my sanity was again fading, I became convinced that the river was alive. It mocked me, laughed at me and with me as well as sang little songs. Sometimes a happy tune of bubbling contentment, soothing me and at others a rushing crash of power, reminding me that it had brought me here.


    Although the places I walked through were rich with plants, with an occasional tree dotted around, I drank only water. I regretted not knowing and learning more about the earth around me when I had the chance. Although the more I looked around, the more alien the environment I was in seemed.


    The famaliar ache of hunger was ever present. At times, it seemed almost like a living thing inside me, that would roar wildly. That was when I had to sit and wait for it to pass, dozing off lightly. Other times, I could push it aside and forget the pain. That became harder and harder as more time passed. The lightheadedness of hunger was a cloud that stayed with me. Heavy on my body, light on my mind, making my mind soar and my gait stagger as though under a weight. True hunger such as this reminded me of darker times, when food and eating had been a means of control. Perhaps without that conditioning, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to push as far as I did.


    ***


    It was toward evening that I felt that I was being watched. I was sensitive after my isolation of the past days. I walked slower and eventually stopped. He stepped out from behind a tree on my side. When I imagined coming across people, I thought I would be the strange sight. In the past few days, the jeans I wore had begun to hang uncomfortably loose, I had braided myself a belt from grass to hold them. My hair was greasy, and hung raggedly around my head, despite my efforts to finger comb it. Keeping my clothes clean had been a useless endeavor, with no soap they still stinked. Already two nights in they had become full of sweat and grass stains I couldn¡¯t rub out, my hands hurt from trying.


    And yet it was his appearance that I found more shocking. He seemed to be around my age, early twenties but was shorter than me. The brown shirt and pants he wore had more holes than cloth. Like me, his pants were held with a makeshift belt, a rope of some sort looped three times around. Although calling them pants was generous, perhaps they once had been, but the ragged hems made them look more like shorts, revealing a clubbed foot. What had shocked me the most, was the rest of his body. It was as thin as a rail full of small scars and bruises, some fresh and big others yellowed. Even after not eating for about a week, my body looked like the paradigm of health next to his. His most striking features were his light brown eyes, looking at me with an intense gaze. The explanation and request for help that I had prepared for when I met someone died on my lips. However he was not lost for words.


    ¡°Hello.¡± After an awkward pause of silence waiting for me to respond, he spoke again. ¡°Who are you?¡±


    Embarrassingly, my mouth hung open and only a soft ah sound came out. Enunciating his words clearly and slower than before he asked, ¡°what are you doing here?¡±


    I must have been more affected by hunger than I thought, because I began to laugh deliriously at this.


    ¡°If I knew what I were doing here I would be doing it!¡± I exclaimed. The thought had made more sense in my mind than aloud.


    Whatever suspicion he had held against me, the hard expression he had until now melted away as though a mask had slid off his face. He looked to be a mixture of annoyed and amused.


    ¡°You look hungry, do you want something to eat?¡±


    This broke me out of my giggling and weird twitching. I nodded.


    ¡°Follow me then.¡± Turning around, he headed away.

 Chapter Two

    I buried my reservations of following a stranger. I needed help, and because of his handicap, I felt secure that even in my weakened state I could outrun him if need be. We didn¡¯t walk long until we reached what looked like a strange house, although on second glance it was more like a leaning shed, the materials on the bottom part were sticks plastered with mud. The higher parts were made of woven patches of yellowed grass. It was leaning on a tree, the kind of tree that had more frequently begun to appear. It wouldn¡¯t have kept anything out or in, the door being only an opening.


    Around the house, as I politely named it, was a little man-made clearing with two logs and a ring of stones where there had clearly been a fire. He headed into the house and immediately came back out with a small rock the size of his hand. As he sat down on one of the logs, I stood awkwardly.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to sit?¡± he said.


    ¡°Yes, thank you.¡± Manners kicking in, I sat on the second log with my legs neatly folded.


    I could safely say that this had been the longest period I had ever gone without any food in my life. The reminder of food made me impatient. Now that I had found my voice again, what I most desperately wanted was to ask if he had a phone, or knew where I could get access to one. If only I could call my family, then I would be able to find my way home. The thought of family, of my sister, stabbed at my heart. Looking around, I knew it was a futile question, this place was too isolated for any such hope.


    ¡°It is not much, but you are welcome to it.¡± He handed me the rock in his hand. I stared down at it. It was not a rock, but a loaf of extremely dark bread. I tried to rip off a piece, but the surface was too hard and smooth and the past few days had weakened me more than I had thought.


    ¡°Give it here.¡± He said, noticing my attempts. He ripped off around half of it for himself. With the opening he had made, I was able to continue ripping and eating. The bread was quite good. What I thought had been nuts was badly ground flour. Despite the small size, after a mere few bites, I was full. Unused to the food, it sat heavy in my stomach. He saw, and finished eating my half for me.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said again. Eating something had made me feel more like myself. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Inparem.¡±


    Trying to be friendly, I introduced myself. ¡°I¡¯m Marin.¡± He didn¡¯t answer, there was no polite nice-to-meet-you. I wanted more information, and continued speaking.


    ¡°Is there a city or town somewhere nearby?¡±


    ¡°Yes, a village.¡±


    ¡°Which way?¡±


    ¡°That direction,¡± he said, indicating with his right hand. ¡°It is around a three hour walk.¡±


    ¡°Will I get there if I follow the river?¡± I continued questioning him, trying to understand how to get there.


    ¡°No, this side of the river leads to the Walker¡¯s Forest¡±


    An unusual name, possibly a local nickname, I thought to myself, but not what I wanted to know.


    ¡°Can you please give me directions to the village?¡± My voice must have sounded my impatience, because he sighed, looking down. Now, it was my turn to wait for his response. When none came I repeated myself. I was frustrated and a little suspicious. Why would he give me food and be kind to me, but then not help me reach other people? I had read too many newspaper clippings, to stop the alarm bells from ringing.


    ¡°What is a foreigner like you really doing here?¡± Our features were not so different as to suggest that I had come from far away, we were both brown haired and eyed, but whereas his skin was tanned dark from the sun, mine was pale. The last week walking in the sun was not enough to change years of a reclusive life.


    ¡°It is not difficult to notice, your clothes and the way you hold yourself are foreign.¡±


    His reluctance to speak and my suspicion was making this conversation difficult. It felt like there was a wall building between us.


    ¡°I fell into the river, and was swept far away. I want to find a way to get home.¡±


    ¡°Why do you want to go to the village then?¡±


    ¡°To find my way back.¡± This was beginning to feel like an interrogation. In an effort to break it, I fired back with a question of my own.


    ¡°Why did you give me food?¡± The question came out wrong, I was trying to understand if he had any ulterior motives, but wasn¡¯t sure how to phrase it.


    ¡°Have you come from so far away that there is no God¡¯s Hospitality?¡±


    ¡°God¡¯s Hospitality? What is that?¡±


    ¡°It means giving food to travelers, for good luck and fortune.¡± He must have picked up on the reasons for my suspicion, because he continued. ¡°I am not trying to be unhelpful. Tomorrow I anyways need to head to the village, if you want to, you can join me then. Otherwise you can follow the Bear¡¯s star until you see three hills aligned, it is the middle one.¡±


    ¡°Is that offer also part of God''s hospitality?¡± I wryly inquired. Finally something I said brought a smile to his face. For a moment the shadow he had on his face lifted.


    ¡°No that is my own.¡± Inparem finally looked up.


    ***


    After agreeing to head to the village together the next day, Inparem had offered me to sleep in a hammock, high up a few trees away. I couldn¡¯t see it until he pointed it out to me, as I looked up from directly under the tree. He said that it was safer than sleeping on the ground. I would have asked him why he had a small shelter, but I didn¡¯t want to prolong the conversation.


    Instead I turned him down, partly because I was afraid that I would move in my sleep and tumble down, but mostly because I didn¡¯t know how to climb as high as that. The tree had no low hanging branches. He had then clambered up the trunk quickly and practiced. Climbing up, his movements were graceful and unhindered by his twisted leg. I curled up tightly under a different tree to sleep. It was warm and humid during the day, but the nights could still get cold. As the nights before, I stayed awake, looking up at the sky until the second moon rose. Only then did I turn over to sleep.


    I woke up to the uneven sound of Inparem walking, a step and a slight drag. We ate no breakfast and I had nothing to pack. It took no more than a few moments to prepare to leave. Inparem had only taken his hammock, folding and tying it into a makeshift bag that was slung over his shoulder and he was ready to go.


    He had said it was a three hours walk away, but the silence we walked in made it seem longer. I couldn¡¯t get a read on him. Still, I felt lucky to have met him. Now that we were underways, I trusted him more, and it was a relief to no longer be alone. My fears of starving to death or of getting lost in the wilderness were alleviated.


    ¡°Is it much further?¡± I felt childish asking, but we had walked for a while now without a break. Eating yesterday had reawakened my appetite, I was hungry and thirsty. The landscape was beautiful, heading away from the river, it had changed quickly from a relatively tropical flatland spotted with trees to rolling green hills with trees.


    ¡°There they are.¡± Inparem pointed. As we continued walking a bit, they aligned perfectly into a line, as he had said. Where before trees had been dotted around the hills, the crown of the middle hill was thick with them. As we hiked up and passed the line of trees, I could see the first signs of civilization, houses - real houses - were built there. The trees cleared away with the village at the center. The hill had a tabletop for a head, making everything at the top flat. It was very small, with around ten houses, built simply from stone and wood. They were cottages, not houses, I corrected myself.


    ¡°We¡¯re here!¡± I almost shouted, jubilant. A rush of energy and joy shot through me, as I walked faster. Soon, I would call my parents, and I could head home. Already I could imagine retelling my little sister this story, as an adventure of survival, sitting all together at dinner. My steps slowed. For a blissful moment, I had forgotten her death.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I called out, my voice betraying none of my inner turmoil.


    ¡°Hello.¡± A man''s voice answered me a few houses away. I heard his steps coming towards me. He came from around the bend of one of the houses. The rush of joy I had felt, that was already disapperating, instantly changed into an icy grip of fear, a physical hand that I could feel squeezing in my chest. It took every ounce of self control I had to keep the smile on my face.


    I blinked once. His features didn¡¯t change. I blinked twice, again no change. He was coming closer now. Third blink, it was useless. His face was still that of a pig, lightly furred with a snout.


    ¡°Hello Porco.¡± Inparem commented behind me, having caught up. ¡°We are headed to see Matre, is she home?¡±


    ¡°Hello Inparem. Yes, she is. She rarely goes far anymore.¡± With that answer from Porco, Inparem nodded to him, and walked towards one of the houses on the other side.


    ¡°Well, I will go catch up then. It was nice meeting you,¡± I was grateful for an excuse to get away. The sudden reminder that I was seeing things was a slap in the face. Porco may have been the nicest man on Earth, but I didn''t want to be a second longer in his presence.


    I walked quickly to Inparem. ¡°Who is that?¡± I asked.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask why he looks like a pig?¡± Inparem asked back, eyes sliding to me. ¡°It is a first, seeing a reaction like yours. People outside the village are not usually as calm.¡±


    I almost stopped in my tracks and ended up stumbling a bit instead. ¡°You saw that too?¡±


    ¡°Yes, of course. That¡¯s why we call him Porco.¡±


    I stayed silent for a moment, with a vulnerability I tried not to reflect in my voice. I asked, ¡°Do you also see two moons at night?¡±


    ¡°My eyes are not handicapped, only a leg.¡± He said it with a defensive voice.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it that way, please just answer. Do you see two moons at night?¡±


    ¡°Yes, like everybody else I see the Mirroring Moons.¡± We stopped in front of one of the houses. Inparem went in without knocking.


    ¡°Matre?¡± He called out. It was rather dark inside, with no windows and only one room. The light inside came from the open doorway and a badly thatched roof.


    ¡°My Dolor,¡± a dark shape in the corner said, ¡°my darling child.¡± Once my eyes adjusted to the different lighting, I could see an old thinly built woman sitting on a pile of furs. Her hair was a beautiful pure white, long and braided back. Beside her she had what I had only seen in fairytale books of my childhood, a spinning wheel. ¡°And who is this?¡± She asked.


    ¡°This is Marin. A lost traveler. She fell into the Dual River and was swept away from her home.¡±


    ¡°Hello,¡± I put aside for now what Inparem had said before. ¡°I was hoping you could tell me where this is.¡±


    ¡°You are in the Hilled Outlands, close to the Walker¡¯s Forest.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything to me. What country is this?¡±


    ¡°My, you must have been swept far. This is the Empire of Ulvile,¡± My blank face seemed to prompt her to add, ¡°now ruling is The Age of the Golden Unity.¡±


    Realization dawned on me. I wanted to claw at my throat, and cry. Instead I laughed. I laughed long and loud. Neither Inparem nor Matre moved at first. Then Inparem put an arm around me, trying to comfort me. I didn¡¯t notice how much time passed. When I started to calm down, I was on the floor, Inparem¡¯s arm still around, and I was sitting next to Matre. She had pressed a cup of water in my hands. That familiar action and the hiccups that had begun is what helped me stop.


    ¡°I have lost my mind. This isn¡¯t real. There is no Empire of Ulvile. Nor Mirroring Moons. I am not really here¡± I tried to explain.


    ¡°What are you talking about? You are here.¡± Inparem said.


    ¡°But where I come from there are no empires, at least not anymore.¡±


    ¡°You should be careful who you say that to.¡± She cautioned. She took both my hands in hers. ¡°Where do you come from?¡±


    That question opened a floodgate in me. I spoke to them of my home. My parents, and my sister. Of there being one moon, of technology and phones and how I had hoped there would be one here, to contact my family. My fear that this was all a hallucination, or that my life before had been. That I was really dead or lying in a coma somewhere. I had never heard of Ulvile and doubted it was anywhere on Earth.


    When I finally puttered out, Inparem was the first to speak.


    ¡°I believe you,¡± he said.


    ¡°How, why?¡± Despite my doubts of this reality and of his even being real, his affirmation comforted me.


    It was Matre who answered now. ¡°Your clothing for one. Never had I seen weaving or material like it, and I used to wear all manners of materials. Wool woven so finely, you could pull it through a ring, or silk so light it never stopped moving.¡±


    ¡°When I first saw you, Marin, I thought you were like Matre,¡± Inparem said.


    She explained. ¡°I came from a wealthy nobility.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± I wanted to ask what happened, but refrained. It must have been a great and difficult change for her to be living in this one room cottage now. I didn¡¯t want to be the one to bring up bad memories. It was interesting to see Inparem and her interact. It was easy to tell that they were close, from the way they spoke and understood what the other meant without explanation.


    My hands were still in hers, and she squeezed them. ¡°Those are stories of the past. What is more important is the here and the now. Can you feel your hands in mine? Is that not real to you?¡±


    ¡°Is that not exactly what a figment of a dream would say to convince me that this is real?¡±


    ¡°I am no dream and neither is Inparem. This moment is as real to you as it is to us. I do not know how we can convince you. But how do we know whether anything is reality or not? Such questioning only leads to madness.¡± Seeing that I was unconvinced she continued pragmatically, ¡°either you are mad or you are not. Either way, for your peace of mind and current sanity, if it looks and feels real, why not treat it as though it is?¡±


    ¡°Accepting this as my reality would mean accepting that I can¡¯t go home.¡± If The River incident had brought me here, then I would have no way back. I wasn¡¯t going to gamble my life away by randomly jumping into the river that had nearly killed me in the hopes of finding some portal back. This thought was strangely another comfort to me. If I was crazy, at least I still had a sense of self preservation. That means I still had some vestiges of stability, right?


    ¡°Maybe, but there are many more things in this world that we don¡¯t know about than the things that we do. Perhaps one day you will learn of some other way.¡±


    By now, I had calmed down, more tired than anything else. What she said made sense. A string of questions were on my mind, as I opened my mouth to speak, a different voice made itself heard, the growl of my stomach.


    We all laughed, and the somber mood of before was lifted. Outside her cottage was a ring of stones, where a pot could be cooked over. Together, we prepared a meal of cooked grain and a few herbs. Sitting around the fire, we ate. It was a simple porridge, but the best tasting meal I had in a long time. Definitely since I arrived here. It seemed to be a good moment to ask the many questions on my mind.


    ¡°I have many questions.¡±


    ¡°Speak¡± Matre said in a regal way, and with a soft smile added, ¡°I would have many too in your place.¡±


    ¡°Is Matre your real name?¡±


    ¡°No, it is a title that everyone calls me because I am the village¡¯s oldest woman.¡±


    That answer derailed my thoughts for the next question. I wanted to then ask if that was a common practice. But if it wasn¡¯t, then that could mean she might still be in hiding, for whatever reason she was no longer living as a noble. Therefore again, I abstained from asking about that.


    ¡°Well,¡± I tried phrasing another question, searching for a way to say it politely. ¡°Why does Porco look the way he does?¡±


    ¡°He crossed an Esoteric One,¡± Inparem answered. ¡°We don¡¯t know more because he won¡¯t say more.¡±


    ¡°An Esoteric One?¡±


    ¡°They would like you to believe that they are gods, but truly they are only men with powers.¡± Matre answered this time.


    ¡°So he used to be human?¡±


    ¡°Yes, he was from one of the neighboring villages and left in search of a better fortune in the city of Lascus, a city on the other side of the Walker¡¯s Forest. He came back a few years later as a half pig. He tried living back home again, but eventually moved here. The village of outcasts. Even the closest of the neighboring villages keep a far off distance from us.¡±


    We had finished eating by now and the fire was getting low. As if reflecting my thoughts, Inparem stood.


    ¡°Matre, I will start cutting grass for your roof before it gets dark.¡±


    After he left, Matre turned to me.


    ¡°Until you have decided what you want to do, you are welcome to stay with me. An old woman like me could always use an extra pair of hands and eyes.¡±


    I could have asked where the city of Lascus was, and headed there for myself. But for the first time since I had gotten here, I was full from a warm meal. I felt secure and safe. Both Matre and Inparem had made me feel welcome. The idea of another long and lonely journey was not what I wanted. I chose to stay. I donned the simple sandals and clothing Matre gave me, a shift-like dress as well as a smock over it, and lovingly packed my old clothes away in a corner of the cottage.


    I knew I was being selfish. But as day by day the summer passed, I felt something heal. At home, every step I took reminded me of my sister. Every street was one we had walked together. Every neighbor, one who had known her. It was such a stupid accident. Why did it have to be her? That was the question echoing in my mother¡¯s face, my father barely home. There was a pain there, that I didn¡¯t have here. A twisting, moving pain that we reflected on one another, until it grew larger and more than before. Here, I could mourn her with a space to myself.


    When guilt would hit me, thinking of my parents, I would reassure myself that there was no safe way that I knew of to go back. That my parents would want me to stay safe. That is what I was doing. I was staying safe, I was taking care of myself.


    In that summer with Matre, I learned many things. One thing obvious in hindsight. That day Inparem had brought me to the village, he hadn¡¯t really needed to go to the village and his more frequent visits since then were also built on flimsy excuses. I learned that Inparems''s first name had been Dolor, named after the difficult birth that had killed his mother. After his father had died in an accident, he took the name his father had bitterly been calling him. He moved away from the village he had come from and lived with Matre for a time.


    Magic was real here. At first, I was excited. Perhaps this was my ticket home. I tried asking how it worked. She had no straight answer, repeating to me different tidbits of what different people believed. It was agreed on by all, that you must be nobility to have the ability. Most said that you had to pass a great trial to receive it in the notoriously particular school of the Esoterics, a place only for the cream of nobility or the extravagantly wealthy. A few whispered that you could gain it through great feats. No one but the very wealthy and connected truly knew. Any thoughts I had of using magic to get back home quickly disapperated. I didn¡¯t believe that only nobility had the ability, but it was clearly something only for the very privileged. The information guarded by the Esorterics. And even then, there were no legends or stories whatsoever of opening portals to another world.


    Moreover, in the coming months I got to know Porco better through his wife, Ava. I came to know them both as a loving couple, and him as a kind man, tireless worker and patient father. I could not imagine a scenario where Porco had deserved to be punished in this way, and was not curious to meet any of the Esoteric Ones with their godlike status.


    On my first evening in the village, I met the others who lived there. They were all kind people, but detached, with little interest to make friends. In this village of outcasts, that was farthest away from the other villages and the closest of all of them to the Walker¡¯s forest, everyone had reasons that they wanted to live isolated and away from other villages. I understood now, that is why Inparem had been reluctant to bring me here. In a way, it was a hidden village.


    Despite this, there was a spirit of communal living, supporting and helping one another. Except for Matre and Inparem, the villagers were all farmers, living off the land. No one had much. Matre relied on the goodwill of the villagers, helping and doing what she could as a midwife, healer, teacher, babysitter and general helper, much of which had to do with spinning and taking care of the village¡¯s wool. After some lumps and bumps, I too learned quickly how to spin wool. I enjoyed the peace of mind the monotony of it brought me and had a gift for it.


    Surprisingly, the person who had the most lucrative and dangerous trade was Inparem. He would kill animals for their fur in the winter, and Matre would sell them to a passing peddler who came by every spring. He in turn sold them to fur traders. The pile of furs I had seen her first sitting on were those that had not been bought for one reason or another.


    Even that was not a lot of money. Rather than save it up, the money was used to purchase sheep from farther and richer villages. Inparem continued to purchase each year, building up to a well-sized flock. The flock was communally taken care of, the wool and meat was also shared. It was unspoken, but I understood that was one of Inparems ways to look out for the future.


    My life in the village was not easy. I thought that I had worked hard in my life before, but now I was working harder. There was never an hour of idleness. My multitasking skills were honed to a knife. When talking and relaxing, we would peel beans, spin wool, or clean and repair what was needed. When walking for errands or shepherding, I always had a basket to gather wild herbs, or edible roots that Inparem and Matre taught me to recognize. I had carved out a place for myself and was content.

 Chapter Three

    The fall was heralded by a sweep of different colors over the hills. It was a beautiful sight, the grass changing hues as the tree leaves did. It added a layer of dimension to the rolling hills, in contrast to the highest parts of the summer where the beating sun had colored the hills with a bright yellow.


    The small differences in this world, such as the changing color of the grass and the Mirroring Moons have become magical to me. I breathed in, enjoying the sight.


    Over the past two weeks, Matre lost a dramatic amount of weight. She had been a thin woman before, and now she was skeletal. She had taken a sharp turn for the worse, and was very weak. It was clear to all that the end was near. It was hard to be angry or sad about it, when Matre herself was accepting of it.


    ¡°I have a life well lived, with few regrets. That is more than many can say.¡± Trying to add a levity to her words, she added with a wink, ¡°if there is one bigger regret, it is that I will not see the joining of you and Inparem.¡± I shyly ducked my head at that, giving her the reaction that she wanted. Truthfully, I was too much of a relationship veteran to be embarrassed by a gentle tease like that.


    Inparem¡¯s visits have become frequent. He would help with whatever needed to be done, and then head back to his home, three hours away. We had fallen into a comfortable rhythm of silence, often working together. I understood now that his awkwardness when he had first met was also from shyness, and an unfamiliarity with new people.


    I stood at the threshold of the trees surrounding the village, waiting for him now. Ava would keep an eye on Matre, while Inparem and I went on an excursion, to search for Dog Stalks. It was a rare plant that grew only in the forest, properly prepared it gave the consumer a boost of vitality.


    We were hoping to feed some to Matre, before tying the knot, which the ceremony included literally. It had been my idea. Her words had been meant as a joke, but I had taken the idea seriously. Despite only being a few months together, I felt a deep sense of loyalty towards her and Inparem. If there was anything at all I could do to make her passing more joyful, I would.


    Inparem had been happy when I brought it up, he agreed to both doing the ceremony and my terms. I had told Inparem that this was a fast development for me, and that I wished to be joined in name only and allow things to grow naturally. He had become a part of my home here, but marriage was a big step, that as a daughter of a divorced one, was suspicious to me.


    Half a year ago I would never have considered it, but I had implicit trust in Inparem. He had saved me, seen me at one of my lowest points, and helped me through it. We worked well together, and were kind to one another. Some marriages were built on less. Only in my darkest moments, when buzzing thoughts kept me up at night, would a little voice come out, saying that the real reason was that I was afraid to be alone in this world and Inparem was my shield to that.


    On the background cast of red, yellow and brown I saw a walking figure in the distance with his distinct limp, I waved and headed towards him. He saw me and waved back.


    This journey was also our honeymoon of sorts. It was one of our last chances to be together before an expected busy time. After this, I would focus on taking care of Matre as well as the harvest and soon, Inparems fur-hunting season would begin. Fall and early winter were the best seasons for it, because that is when the animals'' fur were thickest and healthiest.


    That is another shift I had in my thinking. In my old world, before The River, I was staunchly against fur. I had been vegetarian most of my life, and had only recently begun eating a little meat before The River. Eating little meat has continued here, as that was the way of life in the village. With only primitive farming tools, the villagers were dependent on every harvest, year in and year out. If there was a bad harvest, people would starve. It was as simple as that.


    Inparem¡¯s fur hunting was a buffer against that. A struggle against the poverty the village was living in. That I could respect. I had wondered aloud once, why not more people did it. Ava, Porco¡¯s wife, had answered me bluntly. Putting aside the most coveted furs were that of predators, and hunting them was dangerous in itself, but more alarmingly just being present in the Walker¡¯s Forest was forbidden and punishable by death.


    That is another reason I had insisted on picking the Dog Stalks together. I would not put Inparem in any danger that I was not willing to be in myself. It was a matter of equality to me. He had been reluctant, but had then laughed at my stubborn insistence, saying that we are already playing the married couple.


    I longed to do more, to somehow use the technology of my world to miraculously improve the lives around me. But what did I really know about farming machines or even the technology from home? To build something, anything useful completely from scratch? Ashamedly nothing. Even a simple pump was beyond me, especially without batteries. Light that came as easy as a switch, water that didn¡¯t need to be fetched from a well, and easy access to information were daydreams of times past for me.


    Reaching each other broke my musings, with a shy kiss of greeting we headed our way. In a basket I carried a skin of water and two small loaves of rock bread from the village, the same sort as what had first broken my fast, months ago. I learned that it was covered in a substance that made it hard, but enabled it to be stored for longer without molding and discouraged bugs and animals from nibbling at it. I privately suspected that any such substance was likely a light poison, but the villagers relied on this method for storing bread safely, especially throughout winter. Without a better method or proof, it didn¡¯t try speaking out. Everyone seemed healthy enough, and it was a method used for generations. Inparem had his customary hammock swung over his shoulder, tied into a shoulder bag.


    This would be my first time in the forest. Inparems¡¯s home was built a good distance away from the edge, and the village was even further. The weather was clear and brisk. We walked hand in hand, in our familiar comfortable silence we often had. It was one of the many things I had come to appreciate being with him.


    Slowly, the rolling hills began to flatten and more trees dotted the horizon. Shortly before nightfall, we reached the edge of the forest. Entering the forest, there was a clear and sudden change, the trees were older and larger. It was much darker too, the sky above us covered by the interlocking branches high above. Even the sounds around us were different, muffled by the fallen leaves. Before we entered deeper into the forest, we split the loaf, sat and ate. I looked up, searching for a patch of sky.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    ¡°Want to tell me a story?¡± I asked. Inparem was used to it, it was through this way that I was learning of the customs and legends of this place. Sometimes we would take turns, and I would tell stories from my own world.


    ¡°Legend has it of a giant tree in the Old Forest-¡±


    I shifted, interrupting him as smoothly as I could. ¡°I think I heard that one before.¡±


    ¡°Have I told you the story of the Mirroring Moons and the Dual River?¡± Inparem asked.


    ¡°No,¡± I smiled, ¡°I would like to hear that one.¡±


    ¡°Once, it was only one moon and the river, it wasn¡¯t the Dual River then. Any names it had were given to it by the animals who lived and drank from it. The moon loved the river, looking down upon it every night, moving and dancing along the light the moon shone. However the moon grew jealous that the river had another light that danced with it, the sun.


    Every evening and every morning, the moon would try to catch the sun, to become the only light for the river. The moon was never fast enough, until one day the moon started to cry. It¡¯s face began to blacken, it¡¯s light started to go out. Out of fear for the moon¡¯s life, the stars gathered around the moon.


    ¡®We cannot make you faster than the light of the sun,¡¯ they sang as one. ¡®But we can make you brighter and lighter than you are now.¡¯


    ¡®At a cost,¡¯ the youngest star whispered.


    ¡®If I can¡¯t catch the sun, I will be better than it!¡¯ The moon declared and accepted the deal.


    The stars made way for their rulers, the cluster of the brightest and oldest stars. With one cleave of an axe, that they wielded together, the moon was split almost perfectly in two. Only a small part broke off and fell screaming. From there the third piece saw what from above it could not. On each side of the river, the very nature of the forest living on either side of the river had been split in half by it. On one side, the Warring Forest, which is today the Walker¡¯s Forest, and on the other the Old Forest.


    The river laughed, ¡®now we truly are fit for one another, each of us thrice faced, light and lovely.¡¯ As the river said this, it shone the light of the moon mockingly back at it, dancing it along the moon¡¯s face as the moon had often done to the river. The silvery sliver of the moon that had fallen in the river, had given it some of its power.


    In pain, the two in the sky cried. ¡®Fix me!¡¯


    ¡®I cannot make whole from two that which is three¡¯ said the rulers.


    ¡®Fix me!¡¯ They cried again. The third had already been swiftly hidden by the river.


    By then the first sun rays of the morning had come. They reached across the sky to the two halves of the moons, and healed them. The moon waxes and wanes crying for the third piece of itself hidden in the river until today.¡±


    As if a part of the story, the end of Inparem¡¯s tale was punctuated by the howl of an animal.


    ¡°We should not stay here like this. It is dangerous at night.¡±


    I knew what Inparem meant by this, we had talked about it before, and although we had practiced on smaller trees before coming, I was nervous. We headed deeper into the forest, to find a tree that would fit for tonight.


    ¡°That one looks easy to climb,¡± he pointed to one on his left.


    It looked the same as the others to me. An old tree with a long trunk, branches starting up high. He took my basket to carry himself, comically putting the large handle over his head to leave it hanging like a necklace around his neck, the hold of the basket towards his back. I climbed up the trunk slowly, using every crevice I could to get a hold of to drag myself up. With a rope connecting us, Inparem climbed above me. After finally making it to the lowest branch, we sat there as I caught my breath. What had taken me slow excruciatingly long minutes of climbing, Inparem could have done gracefully in one or two. Climbing to him was more natural than walking.


    ¡°We need to go higher, there are still predators that can reach the lower branches.¡± And so, higher we went, until the branches were so thin they were creaking from our weight and we dared only to step at the base of the branch, where it connected to the trunk. Through the branches I could again see the sky, a spread of stars above us. Only then, Inparem declared us safe. He untied his shoulder sling bag, unfolded it to his hammock, and for stability tied the ends almost vertically across different branches around the same places we stood, as close to the trunk as possible.


    I shivered, grateful to be stepping into the hammock. In the summer the nights had been warm, but now it was getting colder with nightfall and being high up in the trees added to it. Building a fire and staying on the ground was not safe. There were animals who were attracted to the fire, and anyways, leaving traces of a fire inside or on the edges of the forest could spark a manhunt from the Walkers who owned and lived in the forest.


    Our journey had been a quick decision, and there was no time to weave or piece together a second hammock. It was a given for Inparem that I would be the one to sleep in it. He had learned from me, and had agreed to us doing this trip together with terms of his own. One of them was that I slept in the hammock. Inparem undid the rope around us.


    ¡°Here,¡± he gave it to me. I tied it outside the hammock around my waist. That way something would hold me in the hammock, while I slept. If I slept. I wasn¡¯t sure that I could sleep like this, even if wrapped in it, it was slightly warmer than before. Inparem curled up on a branch under me.


    ¡°Do you think the story has something to do with how I came here?¡± I asked.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°The river having a part of the moon.¡±


    ¡°It is just a legend.¡±


    ¡°But the river having a hidden power must be true, otherwise I wouldn¡¯t be here.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps it is you that has a hidden power? Or the place you came from?¡±


    ¡°I think it has to have been the river.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Back then, the river seemed like a living thing around me.¡± Besides, if it had been me, wouldn¡¯t I have felt it?


    ¡°Who knows? Every forest, animal and hill around here has a legend, but they are just stories, made up to pass-¡° Inparem sneezed, ¡°the time.¡±


    ¡°Are you cold?¡± I asked, although I already knew the answer to the question. Even wrapped as I was like a cocoon in the layers of the hammock, being here on the tops of the trees, it was cold.


    ¡°No, it is a warm night.¡±


    ¡°I think you are.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    A few minutes later, I heard another sneeze. I sighed fondly, he could be stubborn.


    ¡°Well I am cold.¡±


    Inparem stood up and looked at me. ¡°You¡¯re cold?¡±


    ¡°Yes, very. If we share the hammock we will both be warmer.¡± Now that I could see him, I was happy I had said something. His nose and eyes were beginning to be red and puffy.


    I undid the rope around my waist and tied it around us both. We shared the hammock, sleeping face to face, in each other¡¯s arms. I truly could sleep, no longer afraid of slipping out of the hammock in Inparem¡¯s arms. The night became progressively colder, but through it there was a heat shared between us that kept me warm.

 Chapter Four: Bites of Decay

    I woke up to a strange fluttering on my cheek. Opening my eyes, I saw a magnificent sight. Hordes of beautiful butterflies were flying up and out of the top of the tree we were on and the tops of the trees around us. They were eye catching and glittering, no one quite the same as the other, in an array of colors and dizzying patterns. The butterfly that had landed on my cheek flew up with them. The common theme seemed to be the brighter the better. Their wings were different from regular butterflies, narrower and longer, almost like a dragonfly. They kept flying higher and higher, creating an illusion that they were journeying towards the sky.


    There are many moments that I miss my earlier life. I miss my family. But then there are moments like these, that are achingly beautiful and make me aware that for everything that I have lost, there are things that I have gained. Something must have woken Inparem up, I felt him shift and saw his eyes open.


    ¡°Look,¡± I whispered to him, wiggling my arm out of the hammock to point up. Speaking anything louder than a whisper would have ruined the magic of the moment. I saw his eyes widened fearfully.


    ¡°Keep your head down and your hands over your ears!¡± he hissed at me. He must have predicted my question, because he whispered with a sense of urgency, ¡°no, don¡¯t ask now. Keep your mouth shut tightly and head down.¡± His urgency impressed on me, I copied his movements. I closed my eyes too. Through my covered ears, I heard the muffled sound of a bird cry, followed by more cries pierced through the silence. I wanted to look up and see what was happening, but then Inparem had seemed genuinely frightened. Curiosity killed the cat, I reminded myself. Trying to convince myself to keep my head down. My mind helpfully conjured the next lesser known continuation of the saying - and satisfaction brought it back. Keeping my hands on my ears I slowly looked up and peeked an eye open. Birds were flying high above the tree tops and with the butterflies flying after them, at impossible speeds for the butterflies that I had known. It looked like a chaotic dance, full of swirling and swooping performers. I stayed with my head back down until the cries died down, and then some time more, until Inparem nudged me.


    I quirked an eyebrow at him.


    He didn¡¯t need me to say something, used to my curiosity. I appreciated how he understood me quickly, it made me feel even surer about wanting to be with him.


    ¡°They are called Bites of Decay. They live in cycles, where they hatch together, and feed together. They force themselves unto the birds, going through any orifice they can. Once inside, they control the birds. They crash the birds together, make them dig their own grave and lay eggs to start the cycle again.¡±


    ¡°So why did you react like that?¡±


    ¡°Their preferred prey are the birds of the forest, but if there are not enough they will go after any animal closest to them.¡±


    ¡°Even humans?¡± I asked,


    ¡°Somebody once passed by the village to go into the forest and harvest them. Their dead bodies are worth a lot of money, they can be crushed into a hallucinations drug. And the Walkers have a hold of that market, because the Bites of Decay mainly stay in the forest. But this man was a desperate one. Most anybody who tries to harvest the Bites of Decay is, because no normal net or material can hold or keep them back long if you try to gather them. He came back one day with a small pouch full, seeming to be fine. After a day he started shouting and hitting anything and everything. It was terrifying, but more terrifying was when he gave up and started to beg. He begged for help, forgiveness, for the pain to stop. There was nothing anybody could do for him. He died no longer being able to talk, crying and twitching in Matre¡¯s arms. She and I were the only ones who would come close to him. We buried him far, far away with his pouch.¡±


    I realized with horror how close the soft fluttering on my cheek could have been the start to a gruesome end. Any romance I had been feeling from our closeness and the beauty of before had fled. I shivered, despite not being cold.


    ¡°That¡¯s horrible.¡± We had had a few conversations about the forest before coming, and although Inparem had said it was dangerous, I hadn¡¯t understood the reality of it.


    Something in my eyes must have conveyed what I was thinking. Inparem held me tighter.


    ¡°It¡¯s over now. They are gone. In a way this is good for us, our trip will be easier now. Most animals would have fled to be far from the horde.¡±


    ¡°How can you be sure that we won¡¯t die tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°How can we ever be sure that we won¡¯t die tomorrow?¡± Inparem quipped, smiling at me.


    I poked him, not appreciating his chosen moment of humor.


    ¡°You know what I mean.¡±


    ¡°Did you feel anything bug sized enter you?¡±Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ¡°No?¡± I was unsure. After what he had said, my skin felt like it was crawling with bugs, although I could see that my arms were clearly bare. I knew that the Bites of Decay must have been gone by now, otherwise Inparem wouldn¡¯t be as relaxed.


    ¡°Then you¡¯re safe.¡± He smiled reassuringly.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go down then,¡± I said. I wanted to get down and away from what I now knew had been a battlefield, not a dance. The faster we could harvest the Dog Stalks, the faster we could leave.


    ¡°What about some breakfast first?¡± Inparem asked, holding up a familiar loaf of stone bread.


    ¡°You eat, I¡¯m not hungry.¡±


    After Inparem ate, and convinced me to have some too, we climbed down the tree. Climbing down was harder than climbing up. I slipped once, for a heart stopping second I thought I would fall, but my foot came to rest on Inparem¡¯s shoulder, who was climbing directly under me and I awkwardly embraced the tree trunk until I found a safe foothold. From then on, he spoke to me softly the whole way, instructing me where to put my feet.


    Reaching the bottom, my legs shook badly and buckled. I managed to make it look like I took a graceless seat, sitting against the tree trunk. With one hand I buried my fingers into the earth. By the way Inparem sat next to me and took out some water, I wasn¡¯t fooling anyone. I remembered reading about sailors who kissed the earth after long voyages, at the time that I had read it I had found it amusing. I had climbed down a tree for less than half an hour, and I felt almost ready to do the same.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I said quietly, standing up. I didn¡¯t want to be a burden anymore than I already was. I wanted to show Inparem and myself that I was strong enough for us to do this together.


    ¡°Try to step where I step. As we go deeper, don¡¯t speak unless you must.¡±


    I tried to emulate his movements. Stepping first with the balls of my feet, and then letting my heel down. His movements were spry, his limp barely noticeable. Something felt wrong for a while until I realized why. There were no bird sounds.


    A few hours later, there was birdsong again and we reached the area that grew Dog Stalks. The area was lighter than the rest of the forest around, with the grass growing tall, taller than me. It was picturesque to look at, looking out of place with the massive trees growing around it, but after this morning I didn¡¯t want to linger long. The plant itself looked like regular tall grass, but thicker. Many animals were attracted to the field of stalks, although most didn¡¯t eat it. They would burrow in large numbers under and around it. That in turn attracted more predators. The plant itself grew in a rare break between the tall tree branches, where the sun shined through. If it would have been a larger area, I would have called it a meadow.


    Inparem stopped. I nodded to him, we had discussed this. Inparem would keep watch, while I harvested. He was the better climber, and recognized the dangers better than I. He also had a sharpened stick that he could throw if need be. I tried not to think of the scenario that would be needed. He climbed up a nearby tree to have a better viewpoint.


    Basket in hand I waded into the small field, to try to get to the middle where the plant was most potent. Within two steps, I couldn¡¯t see anything past the stalks. They grew tightly together. I heard a hoot and stopped. Was that Inparems signal that I was in the middle or that there was danger? We had decided on it a few days ago, and I had forgotten. I thought it was to go more forward. I hesitantly took another step forward, and then the tall stalks seemed to take a step forward as well, colliding into me.


    A haze filled my mind, it felt like a balloon in my head, growing larger and larger until it popped out and I was drifting upward to the blue sky. I had one last thought, that I could even see the sky now, before I was ricocheting somewhere else.


    For a moment, I was standing between two horses, they turned to me as one and neighed, the sound pushing me somewhere else. I was in a dirty alley, everything unproportionally big around me with a group of children kicking a ball. I was kicked somewhere else. For one nightmarish blink, I saw a giant cat¡¯s eye, encircled with scales. Then for the longest visit yet, I was walking next to a familiar looking honey colored brown spotted bear. I looked around, and saw the trees of the Walker¡¯s Forest. In this dreamlike state, I felt comfortable burying a hand into the soft fur. The bear turned her head to me, and I recognized her eyes too.


    ¡°Go back to yourself,¡± she said, her breath blowing me away and away until I snapped back like a rubber band, and could see the sky again. A shadow moved to block it, it was Inparem.


    ¡°Marin!¡± He was shaking, or was it me who was shaking? His voice sounded distant.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I sat up, ignoring the dizziness it brought up. ¡°What was that?¡±


    ¡°If you can move we have to leave now.¡±


    I didn¡¯t question him, as we stood up I saw that he had my basket in his hand.


    ¡°The Dog Stalks?¡±


    ¡°No time for that,¡± and turned towards the grass, with a few hard jerks he roughly uprooted a handful of what was nearest. A far cry from the careful instructions he had given me on how to harvest it. We moved without stopping, walking for hours just under a run, until we reached the edge of the forest. Only then, did the rigid outline of his shoulders soften.


    ¡°What was that?¡±


    ¡°Marin, you promised you would listen to me, but you kept moving after I hooted!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I mixed up the signals.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t do that, everything about the forest is a dangerous place, in particular the place of the Dog Stalks. A mistake like that could have gotten you or both of us killed.¡±


    I wanted to say that it didn¡¯t, that we had succeeded with getting the plant, and were anyways almost out of the forest. But that sounded childish even in my mind. Keeping my voice even, in the hopes that it would keep things from escalating, I asked again. ¡°What was it?¡±


    The slower pace we had taken while talking, picked up again as Inparem continued walking. He mumbled something.


    ¡°What? I didn¡¯t hear you¡±


    ¡°I said I don¡¯t know.¡±

 Chapter Five

    The way back, Inparem¡¯s quiet anger got to me in a way that shouting wouldn¡¯t have, it was the anger of worry. I felt guilty. Inparem was right, I hadn¡¯t taken his warnings seriously. A part of me had thought that this trip would be like camping. I had thought of the Walker¡¯s Forest as a regular forest, when it was not. The importance of my own values of sharing the risks he takes, made me overlook what he had been saying. We were not equals in this. He has years of experience with the forest, while I have proven myself to be the stupid bumbling girl I didn¡¯t want to be.


    Coming back to the village, I was exhausted. We had pressed ourselves hard to be able to reach the village by evening tonight. I wanted to go directly to sleep, but the day wasn¡¯t over yet. I took a deep breath to prepare. We had both agreed not to tell Ava or Matre what had happened. When Inparem opened the door to Matre¡¯s cottage, and she saw us, her face lit up. Ava was there too. I showed them perfectly cut stalks of Dog Stalks. We had chopped it on the way to cover up the hasty harvest. When Ava asked how the trip was, I said uneventful, with a telling wink, a deflection from how I truly felt. She laughed and I knew it had worked. As soon as I could, I begged exhaustion and went to sleep next to where Matre was sitting, on the pile of furs.


    The next day, I woke up to the familiar sound of the spinning wheel. It was one of the few things Matre could still easily do. She saw me shift and smiled down at me.


    ¡°Good morning.¡±


    I smiled back. It was good to see her. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I went to gather water. Coming back, I set the bucket and a cup next to her so that she could drink freely. I started sweeping the dirt that had come loose from the floor. Ava had taken care of Matre as best she could with all of her own duties, but she didn¡¯t have the time to do it all.


    ¡°Now, do you want to tell me what really happened on your trip?¡±


    My hands continued moving smoothly sweeping, but my eyes betrayed me with a startled blink. ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like you to go directly to sleep. Usually you walk Inparem out.¡±


    I sighed but wasn¡¯t really bothered by being found out. Matre¡¯s mind was as sharp as always, and that was a comfort.


    ¡°Is it cold feet?¡± She continued to press.


    ¡°Yes.¡± I took the excuse rather than tell her of my mistake as well as my one and a half, possibly two near death experiences.


    ¡°If you are not sure that you want to tie the knot with him, then perhaps you shouldn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I am sure of Inparem. He is a good man. It¡¯s just that¡­¡±


    Matre waited patiently as I searched for a way to say what was on my mind. I hadn¡¯t meant to talk about this.


    ¡°I am not sure if what I want is him, or the security that he represents.¡± There it was. My dark thoughts. One that I didn¡¯t want to have. I had no money, no home of my own, even the shoes and clothes I wore were not truly mine. After Matre would die, I would be alone in this world. I had never been in a position like this, and the insecurity gnawed at me at night. Inparem was the easy answer to my loneliness.


    Moreover I had complete faith in his abilities. He was a survivor. As long as we would be together, I would have food and shelter. But the idea of marrying him for anything other than love felt false, like I was a gold digger, although he wasn¡¯t rich by any means. It went against my ideals. The feminist in me screamed, that if I viewed myself as equal, then our tying the knot shouldn¡¯t be for anything but love. He had saved me once, but that didn¡¯t mean I wanted him to be my savior.


    Matre started to laugh. Hard. I glared at her. It had taken a lot for me to admit what I had said out loud, and she was laughing at it.


    ¡°Oh, sometimes I forget that you are from a different place.¡± she said, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. ¡°In spirit you are so alike to the daughter I never had, but then you say something like this that reminds me how different you are.¡±


    I was touched and if it had been a different situation, I would have reacted differently than folding my arms and continuing glaring, albeit with a soft smile.


    ¡°Every marriage is for both sides. Do you think that Inparem wants you only for yourself? He wants you for the work you will be able to help him with. He wants your body and the children you will bear for him. He wants a partner in the full sense of the word.¡±


    I was unconvinced. Her voice softened.


    ¡°Do you think you are the first to marry for security? Whether you are two families of nobles uniting, or two village people, unity is strongest. Marriage exists for that. If Inparem has half the smarts I know he does, he knows that you want him for what he can do as well as for who he is. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that your life from before was different than that, where marriage was a luxury that could be chosen. But in this place everyday is a struggle, it is better not to be alone.¡±


    Everything she was saying made sense, and it did make me feel better. But I still felt unsure. ¡°If that is what you believe, why aren¡¯t you married?¡±


    ¡°I was.¡±


    When Matre didn¡¯t expand, I didn¡¯t press. She would tell me or not, according to what she wanted and my questions wouldn¡¯t change that. I finished up sweeping and she continued spinning.


    ¡°Can you please get some water ready? I would like to wash.¡± She asked shortly after.


    Washing was a different process than what it had been before The River. Outside the cottage, I started a fire in the ring of stones and fetched more water to warm over it. From inside, I took out a simple stool, a bar of soap, a blanket and a clean cloth. I set it close to the fire. When the water was lukewarm, I placed it down close to the stool. In the meantime, Matre had undressed. I carried her gently out of the cottage and placed her on the stool. I know that it wasn¡¯t so, but it felt like she weighed less than the bucket of water I had carried earlier.


    The disregard for nudity in the village had been shocking at first, but by now I was used to it, although I still wasn¡¯t as free with my own nudity. It is also what allowed me to see Matre¡¯s sharp weight loss almost immediately when it started. In the summer, many of the children had been constantly naked. There were no showers or bathtubs here, much less a private one at home. There was only the drinking well. When people washed, they did it outside their homes. Sometimes in the trees around the village, but even then nobody was quite hidden from view. I could carry her to the flimsy privacy of the trees, but she wouldn¡¯t have wanted me to. It would have been a pointless waste of time and energy in her eyes. Like the day before, there was a briskness in the air. I put another log in the fire.


    Usually with this set up, Matre could wash herself. I knew that she preferred to do that. I was going to go back inside to get some wool that needed to be carded and keep her company. I made it a point to be around, that way she wouldn¡¯t have to call out when she was finished. However to my surprise she waved me over.


    ¡°Please, help me Marin. I feel weak today.¡±


    Inside, I felt a frisson of pain at her words. But I smiled and came over. ¡°You don¡¯t look weak at all,¡± I teased her. ¡°Are you perhaps feeling lazy today from the giant breakfast we had?¡± Kneeling next to her, I wetted the soap and cloth. We had both had no breakfast, as was the norm here. But she smiled and went with it.


    ¡°Why yes, the puffed pastries are my favorites and I couldn¡¯t resist a good puffing of myself.¡±


    Her skin was thin and with a transparency that came with the very old. As gently as I could, I started soaping her. ¡°For me it was the pancakes. I couldn¡¯t resist piling them up outside and in.¡± Our conversation paused as I poured water over the soaped areas.


    ¡°What wrinkled skin I have.¡±


    ¡°The wrinkliest of wrinkles¡± I agreed, trying to keep the feeling of levity we had.


    ¡°They hide my biggest scar,¡± as she said she stretched a part of her skin up on her stomach. ¡°You see?¡±


    There it was, a thick and jagged scar no longer than half a finger.


    ¡°Yes, I see.¡±This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.


    ¡°It was from my husband, when he tried to kill me.¡±


    Before soaping her hair, I shortly fanned the fire to make it larger.


    ¡°It was one of the very first things my father did when we were exiled. He married me. At first he tried finding a rich husband who would support us, to bring us some semblance of the life we had before. But the more time passed, the less likely it seemed. In the end, he married me to have one less mouth to feed.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to say, but Matre continued speaking not expecting an answer. I started on her hair, massaging her scalp and taking care that all of her long hair was soaped.


    ¡°I never wanted to marry again. Your being with Inparem, is your choice. Whether you use your choice for yay or nay, that choice makes any marriage you have more meaningful than what I and many others had or have.¡±


    ¡°Did you think of running away?¡±


    ¡°Running away from what? Someone who would feed and house me? I trusted my father. I trusted his choice. This is yours.¡±


    I picked up the bucket again, to wash the soap out of her hair. I tried to do it slowly, she looked different naked like this, when dressed it hid how skeletal her body was. Naked, she could have fit right into medieval depictions of death I had seen on an old bridge once. It was the fierce fire in her eyes, that said otherwise. There was another fragility, aiding the look of her frailty, it was the vulnerability of the conversation, with the intimacy of washing.


    ¡°He was surprised after he stabbed me. He looked down, as if he couldn¡¯t believe what he had done. But I could. As if we had rehearsed a dance, I took out the knife without pause and stabbed him in the neck. I didn¡¯t watch him die. I packed some healer¡¯s moss into my wound and left to find a safe place. I had only the clothes on my back, like you when you came here.¡±


    I brushed her wet hair and wrung her hair, before braiding it I fanned the fire shortly keeping us both warm.


    ¡°Should we be talking about this here?¡± I asked in a hush voice, aware of the open space we were in, with other cottages neighboring by. People were mostly working in the fields at this time, but you could never be sure.


    ¡°All of us here have a reason not to want to be found. To keep to ourselves. Mine is no secret. I swore never again would I be bound or reliant on someone else, whether it be a husband or my parents. That was my choice, and I kept it my whole life. Now, it is time for yours. Whatever you choose, I will support you.¡± She put a hand up with a hair tie, for me to tie the end of the braid and patted my hand as I took it.


    Her acceptance and support reminded me of my love towards her. That I wanted her last days to be happy and comfortable. The closer we got, the more I knew that her coming death would be devastating for me. I picked up the blanket and hugged her with it. ¡°Thank you.¡± My eyes were moist, ¡°Matre,¡± I started to say. Something in my voice must have given me away.


    ¡°No Marin, there are great powers in this world that could lengthen my time. Terrible creatures, witches and the Esoteric ones. None are worth the danger. I have lived long and well. My time is coming and I accept it.¡± It was hard to accept her choice. I knew little of the world here, mostly the legends and story that Inparem told me. He himself had only been in the Hilled Outlands and the Walker¡¯s Forest. I had to wonder if the dangers were as bad as described.


    She put her arms around my neck.


    ¡°Ready?¡± After her affirming nod, I carried her back to the pile of furs that was our bed.


    ¡°I think I¡¯ll rest a bit now, I¡¯m tired. Go see Ava before you head out to the fields, she wanted to talk to you.¡±


    ¡°Yes I will.¡±


    By the time I had put out the fire and come back in to put the stool, cloth and soap away, Matre was already sleeping.


    ***


    I walked across the village to Ava, bringing with me some of the yarn I had spun myself in my customary basket.


    ¡°Marin!¡± Aelia, one of Ava¡¯s children called out. Aelia was seven years old, dark haired like her mother, but with none of her seriousness. She was almost jumping about, settling instead into a sort of vibrant hop.


    ¡°Is it true that you were in the Walker¡¯s Forest?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Inparem and I went together.¡±


    ¡°What was it like?¡±


    She came closer, walking next to me. Her blue pansy eyes looked wide eyed up to me. Aelia was a beautiful child.


    I made a show of looking around and then bent my knees to be eye level with her. Her face came closer to hear better.


    ¡°BOO!¡±


    She screamed and jumped as a reaction to my shout, cracking her forehead on mine. ¡°Ow,¡± I said rubbing my forehead.


    We heard a familiar laughter, it was Ava holding her youngest son. Ava had a plump figure with a face full of faint wrinkles and a dark bronze with layers of suntan. She had the kind of wrinkles that brought beauty to a face, that told the story of a warm person, who smiled often and largely. She was standing outside her cottage. ¡°You deserve that for scaring her.¡± She said it with a smile, softening her words.


    ¡°And this too,¡± Aelia said, kicking me in the shin.


    I didn¡¯t give her the satisfaction of crying out. Instead I bent down and whispered to her ¡°I¡¯ll tell you later, bring your siblings who can keep a secret.¡± Aelia loved secrets almost as much as she loved telling them. She slipped her hand into mine, and I knew I was forgiven.


    ¡°Aelia, did you finish helping Calor?¡± Calor was one of the other villagers. He lived alone, and kept mostly to himself. When I had first seen him, I had thought he was some mythical creature, like an Ent. Although he was human sized with a human body, his whole face, neck and one of his shoulders were covered with a vibrant moss. I later learned that he had been badly burned, and had been treated by a hack that had applied the wrong moss to his burns. Now the moss lived on him like a parasite, slowly spreading. Mercifully, he still had his sight as the moss didn¡¯t grow on his eyeballs. Although it was hard to see them, they were deeply set in contrast to the springy and green moss growing on him. More than that, and why he lived in this village I did not know, he was not a talkative person.


    ¡°Yes, is it time now?¡± She was back to shifting from foot to foot. Her boundless energy reminded me of my little sister, a thought that brought up a mixture of pain and love. Aelia had quickly come to hold a special place in my heart, and knew it.


    ¡°It is, come in you two.¡±


    Ava¡¯s cottage was bigger than Matre¡¯s but it felt smaller and was never quiet. There were two other young children playing together with sticks and cutlery on the floor, judging from the small mess strewed about, they hadn¡¯t been at it for long.


    ¡°I brought you some yarn,¡± showing the small gift. ¡°I spun it myself.¡± I was proud of it.


    ¡°Thank you, it¡¯s perfect. I was hoping to make some more socks for the coming winter,¡± Ava handed to Aelia her little brother. ¡°I have something for you as well.¡± She headed over to a flat rectangle chest placed next to a wall. I had never seen it opened. When I had come over I had seen it be used mostly as a sitting place or low table as needed. She took out of it a dress, dyed a rich reddish brown. For a breath of a moment, she just held it, looking down at it. Then she shook it and held it out. It had the same smock like shape as what I wore now, but with more flare starting at the waist. There was delicate silver stitching of buds and blooming flowers along the neckline, hem and end of the sleeves.


    ¡°Oh it¡¯s beautiful, and what a lovely color.¡± These past few months I had become used to everything I and others wore being a brownish color, from dirt and age. Seeing the dyed dress now, emphasized the beauty of the color.


    ¡°It has many memories for me. I dyed it myself, with madder root and caznia peel. My mother and I stitched it together, and my father bought the silver thread. He refused to say where it came from or how he could afford it.¡±


    Aelia was uncharacteristically still, her younger brother she held was also quiet. The two siblings playing on the floor had stopped to see what their mother was doing.


    ¡°Try it on.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t, I can¡¯t take this from you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not taking it, I¡¯m lending it. For you and Inparem. May you both be as happy as Porco and I are.¡±


    ¡°For Inparem and I?¡±


    ¡°Yes, for the wedding.¡±


    Of course, I felt like an idiot. White wedding dresses were the custom where I had come from, but that didn¡¯t mean that it was the case here.


    ¡°Try it on,¡± Aelia added her voice urging me.


    Ava politely turned away but the other children shamelessly stared as I undressed to my shift and pulled the dress on over my head. I didn¡¯t mind it. To them, changing was a bland and commonplace activity, although in Aelia¡¯s case, there was a sharp curiosity. The sleeves and hem were too short, with my wrists clearly out and the dress pinched uncomfortably at the waist. But rather than complain I twirled around, flaring the dress and bowed. It felt appropriate to do so in such a dress.


    ¡°Thank you Ava, it¡¯s perfect.¡±


    She waved her hand in dismissal, embarrassed. ¡°No it¡¯s not. The hem and sleeves are too short.¡± She bent down and flipped the hem of the dress up. ¡°I can lengthen the hem.¡± Next she looked under the sleeves. ¡°But I can¡¯t do much about the sleeves.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, the dress is beautiful as is.¡±


    While I spoke, Ava slipped some fingers under the sleeves of my dress and pulled out the sleeves of my shift, giving the illusion of a longer layered sleeve, with a small puff at the wrist.


    ¡°There, that¡¯s better now.¡±


    ¡°Will I look like that someday?¡± Aelia asked us, I answered, smoothing her hair with my hand.


    ¡°You will be even more beautiful.¡± It was the truth. My long arms and legs were out of proportion to my body. And although Aelia and I both had the same dark hair, that could give the illusion that we may be sisters, I had a big belly paired with small breasts, giving my upper body an unflattering pear shape. Aelia and her older sister Patricia had a lithe body, thin and fit in the muscular way of people who worked everyday, all day. Ava had probably been so as well, according to the size of this dress. I thought that as I shifted, feeling again the pinch of the waist. My own eyes were small and narrow, the same dark color as my hair. In contrast to the long hair all the women had here, mine brushed just past my shoulders. It had been a bob when I had first arrived. My skin was no longer the sickly white it had been when I arrived, after a full summer of being outside, but it was still pale. I didn¡¯t tan well in my old world, and the sun here made no difference.


    I undressed, folding the dress carefully into my basket and wore again the smock I had come with.


    ¡°When will you be tying the knot?¡± Ava asked.


    ¡°Probably in two days, on Friday. The longer we wait the less potency the Dog Stalks will have.¡± After my conversation with Matre, I knew what I wanted to do. There was a relief with having decided, and it felt like the right choice. We headed out together, Ava and I went to the fields to help, while Aelia stayed in the cottage to take care of her younger siblings.

 Chapter Six

    The basket I carried bumped against my knee as I walked. Once, a three hour walk was not something I would have casually done. Now, it was a small enjoyment, I felt no fatigue from walking. My body was stronger than ever, and the scenery around me a source of inspiration. The fall had brought around a look before the cusp of death, and as if in a brilliant defiance, the red, yellow, orange of the grass was highly saturated, the leaves of the trees dotting around sharply defined with their slight crumbles, with their balding branches held high and proud. Perhaps it was my own morbid thinking that was dressing itself on the scenery around me. Matre was facing her death, and now I saw decay everywhere.


    It was partly due to that morbidity, that I was making this journey. I was walking to Inparem to tell him that I do not love him. It was Thursday, tomorrow we were supposed to have our wedding ceremony. I felt guilty that I had not said anything sooner. Why did I have to wait until an evening before? Better late than never sounded flat at this moment. I had tried to ignore my feelings, to convince myself that I felt differently. I wanted to be happy in love. But faced with the mortality of life in front of my eyes, I could not stay silent and ignore my feelings. I didn¡¯t want to waste his time or mine, on false promises.


    In my basket I carried little gifts. A strange sort of bribery to assuage my feelings of guilt. I did not want things to turn sour between us. I liked Inparem. A lot. If there was a way that we could stay amiable after this, I truly wanted that. There was a short but thick scarf I had knitted from undyed wool. A large handful of sweet berries that I picked on the way and a jar of mixed berries jam I had made earlier, cooked with a minty herb. A freshly baked loaf of bread, not the stone bread we usually ate. They were all simple things, but these were the bounties of where I now lived.


    When I reached the clearing where Inparem lived, with the lean-to shelter, ring of stones and sitting logs, a wave of nostalgia rose in me. I had first been there a few months a go, but it felt like years. When I had first come here I had been naive and hopeful. I still thought then that I would find a way home. I knew better now and it hurt. I felt lonely when I thought of my family and friends that I would never see again. For a moment, I thought of turning back or not saying what I had come to say. I was afraid of being alone. That moment lasted only as long as the wave of nostalgia washing over me did. I sat on the log waiting for Inparem, he wasn¡¯t around.


    It didn¡¯t take long until he came, in his hand a small animal that he must have caught in a snare.


    ¡°Marin!¡± He said smiling, happy to see me. ¡°You must have brought me luck, look what I caught.¡± He lifted the rabbit.


    ¡°Hello Inparem,¡± I gave an answering smile. ¡°What beautiful fur the rabbit has.¡± It was a terracotta color, with its paws looking like they had been dipped in black.


    ¡°Yes, but it won¡¯t sell well. Everybody wants the fur of predators.¡± He shrugged. ¡°It¡¯ll make a good meal though.¡±


    We prepared it together, on a simple spit over the fire. After we ate, I began.


    ¡°There is something I wanted to tell you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to say it.¡± He was looking down, not a good sign.


    ¡°I have to.¡±


    ¡°Please do not¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know what I want to say!¡± I exclaimed.


    ¡°Yes I do, you don¡¯t want to marry tomorrow.¡±


    How can I say what I came to, without hurting him? I couldn¡¯t think of a way to soften my words. I spoke them quickly, spitting them out. ¡°I wanted to tell you that I don¡¯t love you.¡±


    ¡°I know that too.¡± Inparem was still looking down, it was hard talking to him like this.


    ¡°How?¡± Of all the ways I saw this conversation going, I hadn¡¯t anticipated this.


    ¡°I just do. Some things can¡¯t be hidden.¡±


    ¡°You knew that I didn¡¯t love you, and you still wanted to marry?¡±


    ¡°Love can come later. I can be myself around you in a way that I can¡¯t with anyone else. Before I had met you, I thought I would live alone the rest of my life, like Matre. You made me realize that I don¡¯t want that.¡±If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if love will come later, I can¡¯t promise that.¡±


    ¡°I understand. But there is much that we can give to each other. Love doesn¡¯t have to be why we are together.¡±


    I knew he was lying about that. He does want love. I could see it in the way his hands were clenched. How he couldn¡¯t look me in the eye. By the tense expression his face had. He was hoping that something would change, and honestly as was I. I could see a sense of deep appreciation and trust developing, there was already a foundation for it. Perhaps he was right, and it would grow into more. I was afraid what would happen if it didn¡¯t. Would he become bitter? Or would I?


    ¡°You would still like to marry, even if I don¡¯t love you?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°And our deal would still stand? I take care of Matre until she dies, and then we live together? And no sex until I am ready for it?¡±


    He blushed at my directness, but answered with an unwavering voice. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s tie the knot tomorrow.¡±


    ***


    Tying the knot was a small affair, nothing like the weddings back home. Matre stood and was the one who tied the knot around our wrists. When she did, it reminded me of that night Inparem and I had spent in the Walker¡¯s Forest, when we slept in a hammock tied with a rope around us. Perhaps in a way, we had already tied the knot ourselves.


    Not many people were there, both Inparem and I had no family other than Matre. Despite it being evening, it was a busy season with much to be done, many worked from morning into night. Porco, Aelia and all their children were there. As were some of the other villagers, who stood witness to the ceremony. There was no priest, and no set vows. We had each written our own.


    The rope of the knot we were to use I had made myself, spinning wool into yarn and twisting that into rope. It was a bulky off-white rope, heavy and itchy against my wrist, with the solid weight of a promise. Looking into Inparem¡¯s eyes, I saw many of my feelings reflected there. Happiness, nervousness, and a fragile hope for our future together.


    Matre stood in front of us, like a priest. She was the main witness of the event. Her cheeks were rosy, and she had a lightness to her step that I had never seen from her before. The Dog Stalk¡¯s had worked, despite not being harvested correctly.


    With the rope on our wrists, and our hands clasped, we spoke our vows to one another.


    ¡°Inparem, when I first saw you, you offered me bread and a place to sleep. The next day you took me to safety and civilization, welcoming me into the home of your family. Those first days showed me the person you are, a kind one, even to a stranger who has nothing to give. Every day we have been together since, has been a blessing to learn and discover more about the man you are. I see a patient man, I see a kind and brave man, I see a man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I vow to you, that I will always be loyal and true to you, until death do us part.¡±


    I meant every word of the speech I had prepared. Squeezing my hands, Inparem spoke his vows as well.


    ¡°I love you Marin. I loved you when I first saw you, since then my love has grown more and more everyday until I thought it wouldn¡¯t fit inside me anymore, and still it grows. I vow to you that as long as I live, you will have the strength of my arm, the shield of my body, your burdens will be mine and everything I have will be yours, as my heart already is.¡±


    He surprised me, his vows were eloquent and heartfelt. I felt something stir in my heart, whether it was love or guilt, I couldn¡¯t say. There was no kiss after the vows, displays of affections here were limited mostly to hand holding. Instead, Porco began to beat on a drum, the only instrument in the village. We led the first dance, our hands still tied. Tradition meant that they will stay tied until tomorrow, after which the rope would be kept in a safe place. Superstition said that destruction of the rope would mean deterioration of the marriage.


    Tonight''s dancing was different from the dancing I had known. It was almost like a reenactment. Together, we danced our first meeting together. Inparem pantomimed


    breaking bread and sharing it, the first meal we had together. Then we skipped around in a circle, symbolic of the many walks we had taken together.


    We had not practiced the dance we did, there was tugging and smiles as we were not completely in sync. But as the dance continued, we found our harmony. I pantomimed learning to climb a tree, Inparem lifted me up higher and higher to show it.


    Laughing, he led me into the next part, when we had tied the first rope around ourselves in his hammock and slept in the treetops of the Walker¡¯s forest. We held each other close for this part, in a sort of slow dancing.


    Porco led out a loud exclamation ¡°Pah! Keep it for later.¡± The intensity of the moment broke, and our dance was finished. And with that, we were married.


    As we walked towards Porco and Ava¡¯s home, for a celebratory dinner, I wondered how different this would have been if I had been married at my home before The River, with my family and friends. The pang in my heart turned me away from such thoughts, therein lies only heartbreak. I lived here now, this was my life.


    Later, much later, when it was time to untie the rope, I gave it to Matre. I watched her skillful hands tie it into an ornamental knot, for safekeeping. She was on the last boost of energy. The Dog Stalks had lasted longer than expected. As though at the end of a high, her hands were shaking.

 Chapter Seven

    The next month passed in a blur. It turns out, married life is not so different from regular life. At least mine wasn¡¯t, Inparem and I didn¡¯t move in to live with another. I stayed in the village to take care of Matre, and he continued living on his own, hunting and harvesting for the coming winter.


    The Dog Stalks exacerbated whatever illness Mother had. I wanted to be angry at her for not telling me that this would happen. But it was hard, Matre knew she was dying. In her eyes there wasn¡¯t anything to do about it but enjoy life to the fullest until she passes. Her choice to take the Dog Stalks was an extension of that approach. Everyday she wasted in front of me, a little thinner a little less. One day I woke up, and she didn¡¯t. She had died sleeping next to me.


    I knew from our conversations that she died without any deep regrets. She had been happy with the life she lived. But I had many. If I were smarter, if I had studied medicine, could I have changed something? Saved her? How bitter I felt that I had not taken advantage of my privilege from before, my access to information, to learning. Or if I were braver, would I have found one of the creatures she mentioned, or an Estoric One who would be willing to help?


    After wrapping her in her blanket, the tears came. Covering her face made it real that she was gone. I cried for her, and I cried for myself. My rock in this world, my friend who gave me unconditional love and support was gone. All the platitudes that I had heard before and even said before to others in mourning, that she had lived a long and full life or that she was at peace now, fell empty.


    I sat kneeling next to her body, in a croaking crying state until Ava came. I do not know how long I had been like that, but as I wanted to move my muscles were stiff and my toes were blue.


    We buried her in her blanket, with no coffin. There was no tradition of a coffin here, but I liked it better that way. She was closer to the earth. There was no gravestone either, or garden of flowers. We piled rocks instead. Without a will, Inparem and I were treated by all as her children, all of the villagers came by her cottage to talk to us. Even those that I had never met before. They told stories about her.


    I fell in love with her all over again, as I heard of her passion and of her strength. How she had been one of the founders of this village. A haven for outsiders, for people of the periphery who were not accepted elsewhere. And how she had taught all who wished how to read and write, giving some a hope for a better future.


    Throughout it all, Inparem stood by me. We stayed the first few nights in her cottage. I felt a fierce happiness that I had married Inparem. At comfort that I was not alone. I knew that I was using him. However he was as heartbroken if not more than I was, he was using me too.


    Perhaps I could have stayed there, stayed living in her home, living her life. Although a part of me wondered if the acceptance and equal treatment from the villagers was because I had married Inparem. But I didn¡¯t want to stay there. After a week, I packed what I had. A change of clothes and my clothing from before The River, a basket and a ball of yarn I had made. Enough material from her old clothing to quilt a sleeping hammock for myself. The last thing I packed was a necklace from Matre. It was the only item she had spoken of before her death. She had wanted me to have it. She had been too weak to give to me, instead she had explained to me where she had hidden it, buried out in the hills, as if it were a pirate¡¯s treasure chest. It would have definitely fit into one. For a moment, as I held it and looked down at it, I could imagine feeling Matre¡¯s warmth.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    It was different from anything else I had, in it¡¯s opulence and splendor. It was a long gold chain, with a sapphire the size of a quail¡¯s egg set in gold. There was an engraved symbol on the golden back of the gem, of a salamander. I didn¡¯t know how she had kept it secret all those years, maybe even from her husband. It was her last sentimental link to her past. From before The Seperation, the event that had drastically changed the fate of Matre¡¯s family, when she was only a young girl. After another failed war of the Empire, that the city of merchants she and her family had lived in bore the brunt of the costs of, the merchants gathered into a council. That council planned and succeeded, in both one the largest coup and feats of magic in living memory. From one day to the next, they had lifted their city as well as the land around it high above the clouds and steered the giant lumps of earth above the Bitter Sea. With the position of wealth and upper hand the new council of merchants together held, they negotiated the semi-independence of their city, and renamed it to the Ascended City. A reminder of their accomplishments and a jab to the Empire.


    The then young emperor had retaliated by calling the change a great success, and applauded the accomplishments of the city, renaming his era of ruling the Age of Golden Unity. This had been the last bit of politics Matre¡¯s family had followed until they, along with all families with ties to nobility, were brutally exiled from the Ascended City, everything they owned they were forced to leave behind. Almost everything, I corrected myself, hand clenching around the necklace. With that I was ready to leave. Inparem was too, I was grateful he had not pressed me to leave earlier, although he probably had wanted to.


    The cottage would not stay empty for long. A friend of a friend or a child of someone would live there soon enough. I didn¡¯t know how these things were decided, and I wasn¡¯t interested.


    Before I left, I went by to say goodbye to Ava. She knew when she saw me that I had come to say goodbye. I don¡¯t know what it was that gave it away, but I saw in her eyes that she recognized what was coming.


    ¡°So this is goodbye then?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but not a permanent one, I will come by sometimes to say hello.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know if she believed me. I didn¡¯t know if I believed myself.


    She shifted, looking uncomfortable. ¡°Before you leave, Calor and some of the other villagers wanted me to ask you something.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°You know that Matre came from nobility, did she by any chance leave you something of value?¡±


    I clamped down on my facial expressions, hard. Did they know?


    ¡°Like what? What do you mean? She left clothes, tools and wool, but all her money was invested in the flock.¡±


    She was visibly relieved by my answer. ¡°Well that¡¯s fine then. It¡¯s just that if she had anything valuable from her life before, the elders said it should be sold and used for the village.¡±


    ¡°Okay then, I left almost everything in the cottage. I took only some clothes and yarn.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good, I heard someone wanted to move in as soon as possible.¡±


    Aelia came up from behind her mother. ¡°You don¡¯t have to leave Marin, mother can ask permission for you to stay.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I can try.¡± Ava added. Her smile was on point, but I knew that if she had meant it she would have offered it earlier, without the prompt from Aelia.


    I bent down slightly, to be on height with Aelia. ¡°I am leaving to live with Inparem. But we will still see each other, I will come visit.¡± This time I meant it, and there was warmth in my eyes.


    ¡°But it won¡¯t be the same.¡±


    ¡°No it won¡¯t be, but it will make the time we are together even more precious.¡±


    We hugged goodbye and that was that. Once again, my life had changed.

 Chapter Eight: When it Rains it Pours

    The second night at Inparem¡¯s place - our place now, I dreamt. It felt familiar, as though I had dreamt it before. I was standing next to the Dual River, with the trees of the Walker¡¯s forest around. Walking towards me was a bear I knew.


    ¡°Here again?¡± She asked.


    I looked around, disoriented. ¡°Here again?¡± I repeated, unsure what she meant.


    ¡°Humans.¡± She said it as a snort. ¡°If you are going to keep dropping in like this, you might as well introduce yourself.¡±


    ¡°Um, well I¡¯m Marin.¡±


    ¡°An unusual name. Were you named after the bitter sea?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t, Marin is a variation of Mary.¡± Although my name was French variation, it wasn¡¯t that unusual. Feeling stupid, I elaborated. ¡°You know, like the virgin Mary?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Humans have a strange fetishism with virginity.¡±


    I nodded vehemently. ¡°I agree¡±


    ¡°You can call me Ursula.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps.¡±


    With that cryptic statement, we fell into a silence. She ambled along the river and I followed, walking beside her. In the haziness of the dream, it seemed natural to do so, and the silence a comfortable one. After some time she spoke again.


    ¡°Stay in my dream too long and you won¡¯t be able to leave anymore.¡±


    I opened my mouth, to ask what she meant or how to leave, but before I could, she pushed me into the river. I was drowning again, trying to swim up, trying to catch a breath, but then a strong current turned me over and I couldn¡¯t tell where was up and I was angry - no furious, that I was in this nightmare again. Nightmare? Was my last thought before I woke up flailing.


    ¡°Marin, stop! You¡¯ll fall.¡± It was Inparem, we were sleeping high up the trees, and I was half out of the hammock. The rope I had tight earlier around my waist dug sharply under my armpits. Any more wriggling and I might have come free from it. Coming to my senses I stilled. I could see Inparem clearly, he was lit by the tentative rays of dawn.


    ¡°I had a nightmare. Well sort of a nightmare. Only some of it was.¡± The gut churning feeling I had from the dream had not passed yet. High up on the tree, we had a beautiful clear view. Everything looked normal. Except for a strange cloud far away, on one of the hills that were some distance from the forest.


    ¡°What was your nightmare?¡±


    I smiled at him, ¡°Of a spotted bear and drowning again, but it¡¯s already passing. It was just a dream.¡±


    ¡°Oh, a spotted ursas? Those are rare.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡± I answered noncommently. Pointing to the cloud, I asked, ¡°what do you think that is?¡± It was black, and looked almost like a fog with how it covered the whole hill.


    Inparem paled. ¡°Smoke.¡± For us to have seen it from this distance, it must be a big fire.


    ¡°What? What do we do?¡±


    ¡°It is far away, it might not reach here. But we should head down and towards the river, to be safe.¡±


    Climbing down was easier than it used to be. Although I wasn¡¯t without fear, I had a confidence I didn¡¯t have before. As we reached the river, Inparem turned to me. ¡°Marin, I have to tell you something.¡± His hands reached out and rested on my arms. He was serious.


    ¡°It was the village burning.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± It was inane to ask. There was no way to double check, we had already climbed down, and there were no particularly tall trees around the river. He was rubbing my arms soothingly, up and down. He didn¡¯t speak, but his eyes answered.


    ¡°Let¡¯s head there.¡± I said. A panicky feeling was rising, the churning in my gut from the nightmare already coming back. It was no use rushing to put it out, we were three hours away. Either the villagers had made it out in time, or they were already dead.


    ¡°The fire might spread, we could get caught in it.¡±


    ¡°Do you not want to head there?¡±


    ¡°Yes I do, let¡¯s walk along the river as far as we can.¡±


    We walked quickly, at almost a run, with a sense of urgency at every step. We were both breathing heavily. We must have made it in half the time it usually took to reach the village. By now, the morning sunlight was covered by a sharp rain. I was thankful for it, for the sake of the villagers, not minding the stinging feeling on my skin. It felt like the touch of many little fingers, urging me on, to walk faster.


    Before we arrived, we could see from afar that the ring of trees surrounding the crown of the hill were black husks, some had fallen while others stood folded in on themselves, in a sort of crouch. Naked of leaves and blackened of color, the trees looked unrecognizable from what I had known. Judging by the black areas, the fire had not spread far from the hill. As we reached the top, we could see that almost everything was burnt away. Only the parts that had been made out of stone remained. The fire had gone mostly out, although there were still some swirling clouds of smoke in some places, they were thin and with the rain, would likely go out on their own.


    ¡°Wait.¡± I said. Before we went deeper into the village, I wanted to take some precautions. It was hard to think of as the village I knew and was familiar with, in front of me was a desolate place of destruction. Black and gray, with lumps of stone and unrecognizable twisted objects around. There was silence, heavy and pervading against the sound of my heartbeat, that was uncharachterstic of the village I knew. ¡°Take off your shirt.¡±


    Inparem looked at me seriously, not understanding what I meant. The graveness of our surroundings pressing on us.


    ¡°Please.¡± I reached my hand out, and he took his shirt off to give to me. Using the water skin, I wetted it and gestured to him to tie it around his mouth. ¡°That will protect you from breathing in smoke and residue poisons.¡±


    I did the same for myself, taking off my smock and tying it around my mouth. With the loose shift underneath I made a knot on the bottom, so that there would be less of the hem fluttering about. It was woefully unprepared compared to the firemen suits of protection I had known, but this was what I could do. The makeshift breathing masks didn¡¯t help with the smell. It was heavy, with a strong acrid taste. I was conscious of every breath, because of how pervading it was. I do not know whether it was him or I that reached out, but we entered the village holding hands.


    We were too late. We had known we would be, we lived too far away for the outcome to be otherwise. It didn¡¯t make it easier. There was nothing to do, some areas we couldn¡¯t enter because it was too hot. If there was anything to be salvaged, it would not be much. As we walked further in, Inparem flinched and tugged at my arm.


    ¡°Marin, let¡¯s go.¡±


    I turned to him, ¡°What do you mean, why?¡± And then I saw. The numbness that had been creeping in on me hit in full force, and I stared at an image that I knew I would never forget. True horror was in reality, more than any horror movie or ghost story I had seen or heard. It was seared in my mind. Seared black, reminiscent of burnt meat, was a lump. Recognizably human only by the burnt teeth and bones that peeked out from the patches of burnt flesh. A child, perhaps even one of Ava¡¯s children.


    ***


    The next I remembered, I was walking next to Inparem. Our hands tightly clenched together, a life line. We were heading home. It was only afterwards, in the evening, as we sat in our clearing with a fire, that I spoke again.


    ¡°What do you think happened?¡±


    ¡°The village has many enemies. It must have been one of them, otherwise the other villagers would have been around. There would have been survivors who made it out in time. Even if nothing could be salvaged, the survivors would have been there to bury the dead.¡±


    His words planted a seed of fear in me. Fear of the unknown, and fear of the future. Who were these enemies? What was their aim? Did they know about Inparem and I?


    ¡°Who do you think it was?¡±


    Frustrated, Inparem answered ¡°I do not know, it could have been anybody. It could have been the Walkers as punishment for my hunting. Perhaps they were searching for me.¡± His eyes were fearful.


    ¡°We don¡¯t know that, it might not have been.¡± I tried to be reassuring, but the fear of seed had been planted in both of us, and it was budding. ¡°It could have been the newcomer to the village, who was supposed to come after I left. Do you know who it was?¡±This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°No. But whoever is invited by the village is observed first, you would not be shown to it unless you have a reason to hide. You were an exception, because of my connection to Matre.¡±


    Trying to think through the numbness I felt, I thought of the future, of our safety. ¡°We should leave, without the village and Matre, there isn¡¯t much reason to stay.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Inparem seized on that idea. ¡°We could head to the city of Lascus. We would be safe there, hidden among other people. But that would take money. The flock was my investment, and it is gone. I have not gathered enough furs to sell, together they would not earn one whole leera.¡±


    Heading to the little lean-to where Inparem and I kept our things, I took out the necklace from Matre, hidden in my basket. Holding it out, I showed it to him. It glittered in the firelight.


    ¡°So she gave it to you. I was wondering what happened with it.¡±


    ¡°We could sell it.¡± I offered, carefully keeping my voice even. It was my connection to her. Even thinking about selling it, made me feel sick. But we needed to survive somehow.


    His eyes were sad. ¡°No. Not unless we absolutely must. It was Matre¡¯s, and is forbidden to sell anyways.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± I found his talk of the forbidden strange coming from him, he hunted furs in a forbidden area as a living.


    ¡°It is proof of nobility. They can only be inherited. To sell it would be to welcome the ire of the empire. It is a gruesome death. Only if we are truly destitute should we consider it. At least hunting only risks the ire of the Walkers. Besides, there are strange stories of what happens to those who sell the necklace.¡±


    Something pierced through the numbness and clutched at my heart. In the short time we had known each other, she had become a second mother to me. Her death was still fresh. This gift was her love to me as a daughter. Our feelings for one another embodied into an object. I didn¡¯t press the point about selling it, it might be our best option, but I didn¡¯t want to. Even if we could find someone in the remote villages in the hilled outlands who would buy it, Inparem could be recognized.


    ¡°What about God¡¯s Hospitality? Perhaps we could survive in the city relying on that?¡±


    Inparem looked at me blankly, and then seemed to understand what I was talking about. A half smile tugged at his mouth as he remembered that I was referencing our first meeting, where he had given me food freely with that explanation.


    ¡°God¡¯s Hospitality is an ancient tradition that is not practiced anymore. At least nowhere that I know. I said it back then as an excuse.¡± As an afterthought he added in almost a mutter, ¡°Lascus holds too many dangers to enter relying on the kindness of others.¡±


    We lapsed into a silence, both deep in our thoughts. Neither of us ate, I had no appetite and neither did Inparem. It was only once we climbed up the trees and settled into our hammocks to sleep, that a thought occurred to me. The hammocks had reminded me of something from this morning, a morning that seemed distant and far off.


    ¡°You said that spotted ursas¡¯ are rare? What do they look like?¡±


    ¡°Yes, very. They have a light honey colored fur with dark spots.¡±


    That was precisely how I would describe Ursula¡¯s fur. ¡°How valuable is their fur?¡±


    ¡°Extremely valuable, they can grow to be gigantic. The larger the fur, the more money it is worth.¡±


    ¡°I think I know where to find one.¡±


    ¡°Because of your dream?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I recognized the Dual River and the trees of the forest. If we head along the river, we might find the tracks.¡±


    ¡°Even if you had a true-dream. The rain would have washed any tracks away, and it could have been deeper in the forest than we could easily reach.¡± Wiggling his head out of the hammock, to get a better look at me, Inparem added, ¡°but it might have worked, with just one fur like that, we could sell for enough money for us to start out. And we could claim to have hunted it outside of the forest.¡±


    A true-dream was not a term I knew, but it was easy enough to understand. ¡°How do I know if it was a true-dream?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I never had one. I suppose when you find out if what you dreamt was true.¡± Peering at me he added, ¡°Matre had them sometimes, but I do not know how it works. Could you try dreaming of it again? This could be exactly the solution we need.¡±


    There was something holding me back, from this plan. ¡°It¡¯s alright though right? They are only animals?¡± Ursula had only spoken to me when I dreamt, and those dreams might not have been real. Or this world. What once would have been an insidious thought, was comforting. If this wasn¡¯t real, then neither would be the hunting of Ursula, whether or not she was sentient, or the many deaths of today and Matre.


    He laughed unexpectedly, a croaking dry sound. ¡°They are animals like any other.¡±


    Slightly relieved, by his words and the barebones of a plan, I snuggled into the hammock, determined to dream. It took me a long time to fall asleep, determination not being conducive to sleeping. But eventually I did.


    ***


    In a clearing, I ran. ¡°Ursula!¡± I called out again, ¡°Ursula!¡±


    ¡°No need to shout, I can hear just fine. Unlike humans.¡± She materialized in front of me.


    ¡°It worked! Is this a true-dream?¡±


    ¡°In a way, but this is a place of your own dreaming.¡± With those words, the clearing we were in sharpened, and it became the garden of my grandparents, where I had spent many a happy afternoon in my childhood.


    ¡°It¡¯s home, my true home.¡± I flopped down in the grass. Touching it, feeling that I was truly here.


    ¡°Why did you call me?¡±


    Turning my head sideways to look at her, I saw that her paw was almost the size of my head, she was huge.


    ¡°Where are you? Let¡¯s meet again. In reality.¡±


    She studied me with her gaze. For a moment, I thought she would refuse.


    ¡°I am in the forest.¡±


    ¡°Can we meet on the edge of the forest, where the Dual River is? On the same side where we once met before.¡±


    ¡°Very well. Bring me food, an offering worthy of my time.¡±


    As I floated away in the grass of home, I felt content. Inparem and I would be fine. With the fur from the bear, we could start a new life. We wouldn¡¯t even have to enter the forest.


    ***


    ¡°We have to plan this perfectly. This is dangerous.¡± Inparem said, as we headed towards the meeting place. We had packed everything we wanted to take with us to Lascus. After killing the bear, we would head there directly. I tried not to think of what would happen if we didn¡¯t succeed. Awake, my dreams seemed distant. I was nervous that I was setting us up for failure. We needed this, after the murdering of the village. Perhaps there wouldn¡¯t even be a bear. Or worse, what if there would be? That would mean that the dreams were true, and Ursula was sentient. I didn¡¯t voice that aloud. It would be good if it worked, I reassured myself. It was a fast way to make money, without making contact with people until we sold the fur in Lascus. It was the best way. A bear is only an animal.


    At least, that is what Inparem believed. The more time passed, the more doubts I was having. Especially when I saw the bunch of sharpened sticks and dagger he had. I almost asked if that was all he had, but caught myself and rephrased.


    ¡°Are those the weapons we will use?


    He saw right through me. ¡°Yes, it is not much. But I have hunted dangerous animals with them before.¡±


    ¡°Do you have a plan in mind?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Usually we would need a rope trap to keep the animal from running, and a place where we will be safe, like on a tree. But bears can climb too, and only chains would be strong enough to trap it. I think the best would be if I kill it in one blow.¡±


    ¡°How would you do that?¡±


    ¡°The most vulnerable spot is the neck, if I could stab it there. I would just need to jump away far and quickly enough until it bleeds out.¡±


    I saw a million and one ways that could go wrong, and I knew Inparem did too. I tried to think of how it could be done in a safer way. ¡°Maybe you could jump down from a tree to do that? That way you could catch it by surprise. With the momentum from your jump, you could probably stab deeper too.¡±


    ¡°That could work, but how would we maneuver the bear under the tree?¡±


    ¡°I could tempt it, with some food.¡±


    ¡°That is too dangerous.¡±


    ¡°It is no less dangerous than you jumping down a tree to stab a bear.¡± I was right and he knew it.


    ¡°What if you don¡¯t succeed? What if the bear goes after you?¡±


    ¡°Then I climb up to you and we throw the sharpened sticks down at it.¡± If that would happen we would probably both die, unless the bear decided to leave. I had a bad feeling about this. ¡°Are you sure about this?¡±


    ¡°No, but think of how much better our life could be with this. We could start a business, or if we are careful, we could live off the money for years. This could be our salvation.¡±


    We stewed in silence after that, each with our doubts and hopes hanging over our heads, until we reached the edge of the forest, where the Dual River weaved its way in.


    That night, there was no bear. The next day was full of nervous energy. Inparem was high up on a tree, makeshift spear in hand, while I paced back and forth under. In my basket was bread and an assortment of fruit as well as herbs.


    Hour after hour passed. At first it was torturous. I paced back and forth, tension building up in me. But then as more time passed, the happier I was. The bear wasn¡¯t coming. It had not been a true-dream. And I would not be killing Ursula.


    We could sell the necklace. The time Matre and I spent together was the true testament to our relationship, not a material object. Besides, could it really be more dangerous to sell it than it was to attack a bear?


    As I was formulating my thoughts, and thinking how I could phrase my arguments. I felt a shadow pass over me. Looking up, I saw her. There had been no need to show her the food or maneuver her under the tree. She had come to me of her own violation. I knew her eyes, I knew it was her. She was sentient. The dreams had been real. I opened my mouth to shout, to stop this before it was too late, but before I could, there was another shout. It was Inparem, striking down from above.


    Blood sprayed on my face. He was crouching on her back. He had stabbed her, and taken the dagger back out. Ursula roared, with unexpected flexibility, her head turned and bit his shoulder, shaking him. I had not moved, frozen until the shaking started. I backed away, but her paw reached out and sliced at me. I felt a distant burning on my chest. Inparems head flopped back and forth, his body in her mouth. His neck was broken. The wide eyed stare of the dead that I had only seen before in movies, was staring at me.


    A movie. Yesterday and today, that¡¯s what it felt like, as his eyes stared at me and the same feeling of horror enveloped me. Like being in a movie. Inparem had loved me, he had risked his life for us, for a better life together. He was dead. Had I even loved him? I knew the answer to that now, I knew it by the pain in my heart. A pain so strong, it physically felt like my heart was being split. I vowed to treasure his memory as long as I lived. As Ursula turned towards me, throwing Inparem¡¯s body to the ground, I knew it would not be very long. Her eyes spoke as clearly as if she had spoken with her voice. Betrayal they said. Humans. But when she did speak, that isn¡¯t what she said.


    ¡°We could have been bonded. There was something special building between us.¡± She bowed her head. ¡°A bond between us, bear and human, would have been something the world has not seen for centuries.¡± The blood from her neck wound was dripping slowly, starting to congeal on the top. ¡°If we ever meet again, here or in dreams, I will kill you.¡±


    She walked away, as regal as she had the first time we had met. Slowly, and without pause. At least she would survive, I thought, as she walked away. At least we hadn¡¯t killed her. There is more to this world than we know, evident by my own mysterious arrival in it. Ursula was sentient. Animals could be sentient.


    Through the blur of my tears, I could see Inparem¡¯s body was splayed on the ground. I went to stand, to walk towards him, crying. When had I sat down? But as I made to get up I couldn¡¯t. My knees buckled and the burning sensation on my chest that had been far off came back with a vengeance. Inparem, perhaps we would die together was my last thought, before I slipped into unconsciousness.

 Chapter Nine

    A light layer of frost was melting off of me, as the morning rays touched them. I couldn¡¯t move, the sense of loss I felt was bearing too heavily down on me. Loss of Inparem. Loss of the village. Loss of Matre. Loss of Ursula, and what our bond could have been. Loss of my family, of my home all over again.


    I had been in a position similar to this before, when I had first arrived. I had nothing and nobody then. But back then I had hope, and a drive to live. Now I had less than that. Easiest would be to stay where I was, allow some wild animal to kill me or die of starvation.


    Guilt, regret, despair. Those are the feelings that eventually made me move. It was hard. Harder than giving up. However, more than I wanted to die, to give up, I wanted redemption. That was the motivation that moved me. I wanted somehow, someway to be more than my past. To have been someone worthy of Inparem¡¯s and Matre¡¯s love. Worthy of the bond I almost had with Urusla. To build something that could last. Perhaps a haven, as Matre did with the village.


    I had been so stupid. Treating my reality as real or unreal as it fit me. I couldn¡¯t go on living like that. I should never have tried to kill Ursula. Desperation had blinded me. Never again. I wanted to be a good person, to do good. But I couldn¡¯t go back to the village, not even to rebuild. Setting aside the risks, it would have been too painful. Aching, I moved slowly and took one of the sharpened sticks that had fallen as Inparem had been shaken, and started to dig. As I dug, I planned. I could still go to Lascus. I could probably survive for a time without money, until I found work. Any work. My hands were slick with sweat and blood, slipping on the stick as I dug Inparems grave. My wound reopened and blood mixed into the dirt of his grave. Only when I was finished, and Inparem¡¯s body was laid to rest, did I crawl to my basket and allow myself to eat and drink. I had no stones or flowers for his grave. I left my sweat, blood, tears and clothes from my old world with him, with a vow that I would change. I wouldn¡¯t be that girl anymore. This time, I wouldn¡¯t rely on anybody but myself and I would do more than just scraping by. Before I buried him, I spoke to him in a broken voice. I told him that I loved him. I wished I had told him that before. That I had not been full of fear and doubts.


    I had never seen a map of this world, but I knew generally where Lascus was, it was on the other side of the Walker¡¯s forest, where the Dual River came out. How far that was, I did not know. I could follow the river, through the forest and reach it. But the forest was dangerous, more dangerous than the outland hills around it. If I followed the edge of the forest, I would still reach the city. It would take longer, but it was safer. While that made sense, the true reason that tipped my decision was another one. Following the river was an old path, something I had done before. I wanted to be different from my past, and go forward another way.


    There was one last thing to do before I set out. Heading to the river, I stripped. I walked only to the height of my knees. Ignoring the pain as best I could, I slowly sat. With the dirt and blood washing away, I could see the wound Ursula had left me with. A slash of claws from shoulder to the opposite hip. The deepest part was where it started, at my shoulder, and it became gradually shallower as it reached down to my hip.


    The danger of infection was real, I had no healing moss or sanitary bandages. I could sanitize some bandages now, but without a regular source of water on the edge of the forest, I would soon run out of water to continue doing that. I washed my ripped clothes as best as I could, and wore the one change of clothes I had. If I got an infection, or if it wasn¡¯t already infected I pessimistically thought, I would have to rely on fighting it off.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    With that, I started walking. My basket was bumping as usual against my thigh. I walked skirting the edge of the forest, it was easy to tell where the edge was. There was an invisible line that divided the trees dotting the edge and the forest itself. Although it was invisible, it was unmistakable. There was a change of atmosphere when crossing the line. Every night, I climbed up one of the trees on the edge, as Inparem had taught me, and slept in a hammock on the delicate cracking branches of the very top. High above the reach of the larger predators, the precarious position became a place of safety for me. Climbing up and down was no longer mentally challenging, I had found a confidence when climbing that I would reach the top, and the bottom. It was the tugging of the wound that was the hardest part. I would probably never have the easy intuitive grace of Inparem when climbing, who had done it since childhood, but I was now a practiced climber.


    I limited myself to one meal a day. I had the food Inparem had calculated for the both of us. The original plan had been to supplement it with foraging and hunting. Neither was something I could do well. On a lucky day, I found a nest of eggs and on another one, a bush with late fall berries. I ate even the ones rotting on the ground. One day, there had been a patch of mushrooms that looked similar to ones I had eaten before. My hand reached out to pick one, but I wasn¡¯t sure of it, and didn¡¯t dare to eat it.


    Careful rationing wasn¡¯t enough, after a week and a half, the two water skins were empty. A week later, the food was finished. My wound was inflamed, as were the blisters on my hand from the frantic digging of Inparems grave. I didn¡¯t know how much farther was left towards the city, and going back wasn¡¯t an option. I was now relying completely on foraging, but the occasional herb I recognized didn¡¯t sustain me.


    The days started to peel away faster and faster. Walking, exhaustion and thirst stretched into one line of undefinable time. My throat was so dry and sore, I sucked on grass. I don¡¯t know how many days have passed, until one day it started to rain. That rain was a blessing and a curse. It filled me and my water skins with enough energy to continue on, but the cold and infection had me shakingly walking in a fever. I knew I was sick. I could barely see outside of the haze of it. I would focus on the tree in front of me, walk to it and focus walking on to the next. If I stopped, I didn¡¯t know if I would be able to continue. Step after staggering step, I continued.


    As I walked, a sentence reverabted in my mind. They are animals like any other. It had been one of the last things Inparem had spoken to me, as we had discussed hunting Ursula. What had made me judge that some animals were fine to eat? I would never eat meat again. I would never hunt again. Never again.


    Finally, with my lips dried and my legs trembling, I saw a distant city wall. Lascus.


    ***


    Three Weeks Ago


    If he had been human, he would have started awake. But he wasn¡¯t, he hadn¡¯t been for a very long time. Instead, he lifted his head from resting on the chair. Picking out the necklace he had hidden in a stitched pouch within his sleeve, he held it delicately in his clawed hands and swung it over a board on the table in front of him.


    The necklace caught over one of the painted symbols of the board, and refused to move away from it. It was a symbol mirror of its own image, a necklace with a giant stone. He smiled, his fangs yellower than his skin. Soon he thought, the last piece was coming, and their promise to the Walkers would be fulfilled.

 Chapter Ten: Whities

    I circled around the wall trying to find the entrance to the city. Up close, the wall was gigantic and the slow curvature of the wall hinted at a big city inside. Eventually, almost directly opposite the direction I had come from, I found an entrance. There were four guards, and a few wagons and people lined up to get in. It was clear that they were paying a toll. One, that I couldn¡¯t pay.


    Invigorated by the sight of the city, I waited until nightfall. The short window at night before the moons dawned, I climbed the wall. I heard footsteps coming from above. I froze, clutching on the wall. But they passed, I was unseen. Or so I had thought until a voice called out.


    ¡°Come on up then, haven¡¯t got all night.¡±


    A frisson of fear went through me, had they seen me? I stayed in place. Perhaps they were talking to someone else. When a silhouette leaned over the wall, looking down at me, I knew otherwise.


    ¡°You with the basket around the neck, come up already.¡±


    I clambered up to the top of the wall. On the top, there was a rather narrow walkway, wide enough for two people to walk abreast with one another. Indeed, there were two guards covered in light leather armor waiting for me. An older and a younger one. The younger one had a scraggly unshaven look, but his armor was newer and in better condition than the older one. He stood tall and confident, with a fit body. The older man was shorter and rounder, his armor worn and ill-fitting around his stomach. A torch illuminated their faces, and I saw that they had a light brown skin. They had matching wide noses, although the younger guard had fuller lips. According to the light beard of the younger one, I could imagine tight coils had their head not been close shaven. The younger one spoke, it was the same voice that had called me to come up.


    ¡°That¡¯ll be two leera then. One for each of us.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°None of that, we gotta make a living somehow. At least it is no fiver we are asking for, that entrance toll is highway robbery.¡±


    ¡°I, I have no money.¡± Nervousness was making me stutter. I haven¡¯t spoken to anybody for weeks.


    ¡°Maybe we can reach an accord then.¡± After saying that, the younger guard put his hand down to rest on his belt. He looked to the older one, as if in guidance.


    I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I knew what was coming next. To my shame, I began to cry. Something had broken me when I lost everything. I was walking on an edge of control, and this hurdle made me lose it. It was silent tears, I couldn¡¯t stop them, they dripped down my chin in staccato flow, going faster and faster. Hating myself, I begged.


    ¡°Please, please.¡± My shoulders hunched in. I didn¡¯t know what I was begging for. If it was to let me go, let me through, or perhaps for death. The older guard slapped the back of the head of the younger guard.


    ¡°Now then, no need for that. This one can be a stupid one sometimes, but he did not mean it that way.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t stop the flow of tears, but I nodded to show I understood.


    ¡°We know what it is like to be desperate, otherwise we wouldna have a side business like this. We will let you through this once, but next time you have to pay.¡± He paused ¡°and if I hear any rumors about guards letting someone through free like, you¡¯ll be the first I come a-knocking for.¡±


    I nodded more vigorously, tears flying about. It was an empty threat, not even I knew where to come knocking for myself.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± My voice was shaky. I crossed to the other side, but before I climbed down, I turned and made eye contact with the older guard.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°Why are you wanting to know that?¡± The younger guard interjected, but the older one still answered.


    ¡°Garius Bonumveer¡±


    ¡°Thank you Garius Bonumveer. I will remember you and your kindness. If I can ever repay you I will.¡± It may have been a trick of the firelight, but I thought that his cheeks colored. I swung down, exiting as quickly as I could. I was embarrassed by my tears and sincerity. Besides, I didn¡¯t want to give them a chance to change their mind.


    ¡°That was against the rules!¡± I overheard the younger guard hiss to his partner.


    ¡°There are times rules are meant for following, and times they are meant for breaking. Let me tell you which is which..¡± Was the last I heard until their voices faded. When I was close enough to jump the last part, I landed gently. I was surprised to see houses built right up to the wall. It was mostly dark, with a few lamps lit here and there. Judging by the run-down nature of the houses, and the closeness they were built next to one another, I had landed in a poorer part of the city. I walked around a bit, exploring. Eerily, there was nobody about.


    Eventually, I found a strange road with cubes built into the street. I curled up in one that stunk particularly bad, hoping the stink would deter anyone from looking in. One hand around my basked, and the other clutched at my necklace hidden under my clothes.


    ***


    A strange chirping sound woke me, disoriented I looked up. There was a woman standing over me, holding cages of birds I didn¡¯t recognize. Her hair grew in tight wild curls, it was unbound framing a face with chocolate colored skin and harsh wrinkles.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°You¡¯re no bird to sell.¡±


    I clambered up. ¡°Please excuse me.¡±


    ¡°Tomorrow sleep somewhere else. If the wrong guards catching you sleeping in ma market corner, it won¡¯t be just you eating shit.¡±


    ¡°Yes, of course.¡± I reached out my hand. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Marin. Would you like me to help you set up your corner?¡±


    She looked at my hand suspiciously, I let it fall to my side. ¡°Now what you be selling? What you want?¡±


    ¡°Some food or work would be great.¡± I smiled brightly.


    ¡°Bah, should have given you a good kicking awake. Be nice once and can¡¯t get rid of them.¡± She spat at me. ¡°Don¡¯t know how beggarings like you get in the city. You can go to the whities selling your juice for all I care, don¡¯t come near me no more.¡±


    Rubbing the spit off, I walked away with a brisk pace as though I had a purpose. I wouldn¡¯t want to do anything to arouse suspicion. I walked the whole morning, walking deeper and deeper in the city. The deeper I walked, the larger the houses were, some even had facades with elaborately painted murals. Eventually I realized that my clothes had begun to stand out, and people were staring at me. I swiftly turned back. Walking around the poorer section, I saw a group of children kicking around a ball. They looked like they lived poorly, thin with matted hair and streaks of mud.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I called out to them.


    They all stopped playing, their attention made me self conscious.


    ¡°Can you please point me to the whities?¡± I hadn¡¯t understood the reference of what she had meant earlier, but as it sounded like an insult, perhaps the standards of working for the whities was low. The part of me worried that selling juices was an euphemism for sex work, was silenced by my hunger and the reassurance that with my wound, I wouldn¡¯t be an attractive choice for a pimp.


    The boy holding the ball under his arm answered me. ¡°The whities? You new here?¡± A taller boy shoved him from the back, hard enough that the other boy fell to his knees, freeing the ball. One of the other kids ran after it.


    ¡°Of course she new here.¡± He stepped forward, despite being one of the taller ones, he barely reached the height of my chest. ¡°You want something, you pay for it.¡± He held his hand out.


    ¡°I have nothing to pay you with. Besides, all I want are directions.¡±


    ¡°You want the right directions, show us what¡¯s in your basket.¡± Moving the material of the hammock aside, there wasn¡¯t much revealed underneath. My torn clothing, the rope from my wedding that Matre had symbolically tied into a fancy knot, a more worn one as well, that I used when sleeping in the hammock and two empty waterskins.


    ¡°The ugly girl is married!¡± He shouted out, to the delight of the others. They started laughing and jeering, circling around me.


    ¡°Dibs on the waterskin!¡± One of them said, an arm snaking out to grab it.


    ¡°Hey, wait!¡± I reached out to grab it back, the movement jostling the basket towards another child, who grabbed at the hammock. Within a few seconds, my basket was empty and they were running in a practiced scattered manner. The leader who had mocked me, had my marriage knot in his hand. He stopped running shortly and threw it back at me, hitting my head.


    ¡°Stingy bitch!¡±


    Picking up the rope, I placed it in the basket. It looked forlorn, in the empty space. I didn¡¯t bother running after them. Perhaps I could have caught up to catch one of them a few weeks ago, but in my weakened state walking straight was already a chore. I continued walking in a random direction, as though nothing had happened.


    ¡°Psst.¡± Someone leaning on a wall of a house gestured to me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you be listening to them, you¡¯re a pretty girl. Now why you be looking for the whities? A hard lot like them will only be sucking the pretty out of you.¡±


    He looked nice. His hair was full and neatly combed, it was the same color as his skin, a rich brown. His smile was friendly, with even white teeth. His pants were the same baggy brown shape that I had seen people of the poorer districts wearing. But his shirt was a finely woven material, an off white color. He even had a ring, it looked to be an iron like material. Despite that, there was an uneasiness I felt in his presence.


    ¡°Thank you. But they are expecting me.¡± I arched my brows at him. The unease I felt made me lie.


    ¡°Well now, why didna you say it like that to the kiddies? They wouldn¡¯t have crossed you then.¡± He pushed off the wall and began walking. ¡°Come on, I¡¯ll walk you there. A gesture of my goodwill.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t tell if he was being truthful, but I followed, hoping he was leading me to the right place.


    ¡°My name is Martin.¡±


    ¡°Marin.¡± I spoke shortly.


    ¡°Martin and Marin, sounds like we were destined for one another.¡± He flashed a smile at me. ¡°How long have you been married?¡±


    ¡°Do you hit on all the married women you know?¡±


    Unphased he winked at me.


    ¡°Only the pretty ones.¡±


    I groaned, ¡°I walked right into that opening.¡±


    ¡°Yes you did.¡± His smile seemed more genuine this time. ¡°I doona want trouble from the whities, they are a dangerous lot. But if you ever leave them friendly like and be needing a better place, ask around for me.¡± Despite what he said, I was finding it hard to be fearful of a gang named after a nickname for underwear. Stepping aside, he knocked at the door we had arrived at. It was darkened with age. The house was larger than the others on the street, and seemed to be older too.


    The rust on the hinges made the door screech the most cliche sound as it opened, and revealed a man so tall he had to stoop slightly at the doorway. I understood now why they had called them whities, I thought I had been pale before but here was someone with skin that was a true white. His hair was white too, shoulder length and framing face. Surprisingly light and healthy looking. His eyes were red, his hands large and clawed with blackened ends. But it was the fangs peeking out that gave it away. The words I had heard before, selling juice, sucking the pretty, clicked and my stomach dropped. Vampires.


    ¡°Yes?¡± He said, sounding bored.


    ¡°This is Marin, she said you were expecting her.¡±


    ¡°Indeed. Thank you Martin. Come in Marin.¡±


    ¡°I will be leaving, alway happy to do a good turn for you Sir.¡± Nodding to the man, as he raised his hand goodbye, Martin ran away, although he disguised it as a brisk walk. It was when he raised his hand, and the sleeve slipped, that I saw scratches all along his arm. Scratches that could have been from anything, like an animal. Or a hand, a feeling in my gut whispered in me. But I didn¡¯t feel like I had dodged a bullet. Right now I wanted to exit too, I was doubting whether I had made the right choice. A pimp would probably have been better than this.


    ¡°Come in, Marin.¡± He opened the door wider. He didn¡¯t voice it as an invitation this time.

 Chapter Eleven

    Locked in a windowless room, I was still doing better than before. I was no longer starving nor sick. Through a slot in the door, I was fed. On my first day here, there had been a pile of moss passed to me too. A voice instructed me to place it on my wound. I don¡¯t know how they knew about it, it had been covered the whole time. It must have been healing moss, because my infection passed and the wound was healing normally again. With no window in the room, I couldn¡¯t see how much time had passed. Sometimes I would hear steps, or other clunking, thumping sounds. There were scratches on the wall, indicating that someone before me had tried to count. I tried to take heart when I could, I hadn¡¯t come this far, to be stopped here.


    On my way into the house, I had known that it had been a mistake to come here. I had passed a room with a door only slightly open. But it had been enough to catch a glimpse of a group of people, lying prone on the floor. They couldn¡¯t have been vampires, they had normal hands, with the brown skin and coiled curls I had seen in the residents here. In a blur, I had been pushed down into this room. It must be a basement or a cellar. Since then, my biggest threat was boredom, and the reflection that came with it. Thoughts of what I could have done differently.


    Often I kept my eyes closed, shutting out the darkness, hoping that sleep and obliviation would come. I didn¡¯t know why I was being treated this way. So far, they hadn¡¯t taken anything from me, not spoken to me other than with the healing moss. I knew this state of limbo would change.


    The next time I opened my eyes, I saw a shadow silently staring at me from the door. I don¡¯t know how long I had been watched. I sat up, and the shadow turned away.


    ¡°Follow me.¡± It was the tall vampire, the first I had met that had opened the door.


    I was taken to a room in the house, where a man sat behind a desk. He was small and shriveled. Like the tall vampire, he was white of skin and hair with red eyes. His hands were the huge black claws of the vampires, belaying the weak demeanor his body portrayed. His cheekbones were high, his face sharp with thin skin wrinkled on it. He was writing on the desk, without the clawed hands and eerie whiteness, he could have looked like a bitter grandpa.


    ¡°Sit.¡± The tall vampire gestured to a stool in front of the desk. The vampire behind the desk continued writing, his scratching with a quill and my breathing were the only sounds to be heard in the room. This whole situation, and the previous lockup stunk of a powerplay and I knew it, but that doesn¡¯t mean it didn¡¯t work. I was nervous.


    ¡°Eighteen.¡± The old vampire had spoken, but was still scratching something out with his quill.


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°Eighteen leeras was the cost of feeding and housing you this past week. Four for the healing moss.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask for it.¡±


    Setting down the quill, he leaned back and made eye contact.


    ¡°And I didn¡¯t ask for you to come here. You were free to leave anytime.¡±


    I gaped at him.


    ¡°I was locked in a room.¡±


    ¡°You were free to leave. We follow the Accords of Reconciliation. No one would have stopped you, had you left. But there is something more serious for us to talk about then a little debt. The meat of the matter is that invoking our name in false business is a crime. We can legally kill you anyway we want. But that¡¯s bad for business. We are not barbarians. Pay what you owe us, and we¡¯ll call it even.¡±


    The village hadn¡¯t used money much, relying more on a bartering system and good will. But I knew that even one leera had been a lot of money for Inparem. I could imagine that twenty two was a small fortune.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Ah,¡± he raised a finger. ¡°Don¡¯t try to argue that it was anything but false business. I know everything that goes on in our little circle.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to say. I went with my original plan. ¡°I came here looking for work, perhaps there is a way we can find a solution with that.¡±


    ¡°I can smell the traces of infection still on you. It will take time for your body to heal to our standards of taste. A debt like that would cost more than your little life to be worth it.¡±


    I knew then, that I had fallen in some trap. If what he said was true, he wouldn¡¯t have kept me locked up as long as he did, he was leading the conversation to some unknown agenda. He already had something in mind. My hand twitched, I wanted to clutch at the necklace hidden under my clothing. His eyes followed my hand, he smiled for the first time since I had come into the room. Somehow they had known that I had it.


    ¡°Stealing from nobility is a heavy crime, especially the necklaces of confirmation. The empire is not as merciful as we are, when it comes to forgiving crimes.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t steal it, I inherited it.¡±


    ¡°Well then, how lucky we are to welcome you here Marin. Tell me, from what family do you come from?¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what family Matre had come from. I thought of telling the truth, that we weren¡¯t really related, but whatever scheme he had in mind for me most likely relied on it. If I wanted to be of use, to get out of here, I thought it would be best to go along with it.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Matre was estranged from her family and didn¡¯t like talking about her life before.¡±


    ¡°Ah Matre, an outland title, so you lived in the hills? Show me the necklace, and I will see what family it was.¡± His grotesque claw was already reaching out, waiting for me. I was hesitant to give it to him.


    He laughed. ¡°Silly child, show it to me.¡±


    My hesitation was laughable. There wasn¡¯t a choice here. I pulled out the chain from underneath my clothing and over my head, handing it to him. The sapphire winked at me. He took it by the chain, and studied the back. Poking a finger at it, an almost translucent bubble stopped him from touching the carving of the salamander.


    ¡°Genuine.¡± He grunted and passed it back to me.


    ¡°You¡¯re from the la Mandra family. Distantly related to the cousin of the fourth prince. Not very high up.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. Any information on my family is valued.¡± I smiled sarcastically. His eyes glittered dangerously, and I regretted it.


    ¡°Last test silly child, and you might even make it out of here alive. What gift does the la Mandra family have? Even if your mother was estranged, she would have shared that with you.¡±


    Gift? It sounded like something hereditary. Matre hadn¡¯t said anything about that.


    ¡°That''s a secret.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is. But I know it already. You need to tell me to verify that you are from the la Mandra family.¡± His smile was kind, but his eyes were intense.


    Although Matre had many talents, I knew of only one that had been magical, I had learned from Inparem what it was.


    ¡°True-dreams.¡±


    He leaned forward, his hands clasped together on his desk. He had a pleased expression.


    ¡°Good. Now, I have a little business proposition for you. If you would agree, you would make me very happy. We could be friends, and forget all the unpleasantness from before.¡±


    ***


    Two days later, I walked out of the vampire¡¯s house. Unrecognizable to the feverish woman who had walked in. I was clean, my short hair was as ornantly braided as the length allowed, with ribbons braided in. I was wearing a fancy dress with embroidery that put Ava¡¯s and my wedding dress to shame. That dress was probably only ashes now, my heart clenched at that thought. The top of this dress had a transparent veil, a strip across my shoulders. High enough to hide the beginning of my scar, but still show the gold chain of the necklace I wore underneath. Old Vetus, the accountant vampire, had told me to keep wearing it under. Flaunting my status openly was considered bad taste. That is what the translucent strip was for. The dress had been given to me this morning, and disturbingly, fit me perfectly. I was unused to the wide flare of it, that came out with every step that I walked. The thing I enjoyed most that they had given me, was my shoes. I couldn¡¯t feel the unevenness of the road underneath me as I walked. Before I left Vetus, the second vampire with the desk, had hissed at me the new number of my accumulated debt with these objects.


    ¡°Forty-six leera now.¡±


    He is so miserly. Next time I will ask for receipts, I thought jokingly to myself. Making it out alive from that house felt like an accomplishment. With a spring in my step and full of good spirits I walked towards my job interview.

 Chapter Twelve

    Standing in front of the house with the two mermaid statues at the entrance, I mentally went over the information Vetus had given me. This was a nobles family. The father was looking for a noble companion for his only child. Noble live-in companions were meant to last together for years, but the daughter went through one every month or so, before something or the other happened. There weren¡¯t many women around left, who were willing to be a companion to her. Adding to that, the family had fallen on hard times. They had been rich in the past, with investments in the Ascended city. Those had been lost with The Separation, since then they had steadily been going down the path to financial ruin. That made my chances of getting hired better, I would be cheap to hire compared to other companions. It was the same event that had influenced Matre¡¯s family and brought them to destitution.


    Despite that, there were many things working against me. Nobility with direct roots from the Ascending City were social pariahs, like the offshoot of the la Mandra family I was pretending to be from. Technically Matre had been closer related to the Emperor''s family than they were, but because of the background of expulsion, I could be considered of lower standing. Even decades later, everybody wanted to disassociate themselves from that misfortune. Some went so far as to pretend that the expulsion hadn¡¯t happened, even families that had experienced it. I had no formal schooling that would be recognized here, and normally companions were meant to be much older. Women who had already married and brought up children, they were meant to be a source of spiritual and emotional help to the mother as well as a wise and stabilizing influence. A mother that this family didn¡¯t have. She had passed away years ago.


    Other than that, Vetus had said that I needed to get the job, and stay there until he said otherwise. I was to visit his house once every two weeks for instructions. There had been no direct mention what would happen if I failed. He had only smiled and wished me the best of luck.


    On my way out, Altus, the tall servant, had shown me the feeding room. They were kept in a more brutal prison than my locked up room had been. Here the prison was their body. People that were unable to move from weakness were lying on the floor. Their feet were broken, and bald patches of hair many had were signs of severe ailings. I shuddered, thinking of the depths of desperation that must have led them here. Or perhaps like me, they had been ignorant of the dangers. These people were also technically ¡°free to leave¡±.


    In a display of supernatural speed and strength, Altus had lifted my hand to his mouth and pricked a finger on his fang. It had happened blitz fast, faster than I could react. One hand on my wrist, the other around my finger, squeezing it slightly, until a bright drop of red blood oozed out. I tried to tug my hand away, but his hand holding me was like a manacle was around my wrist. He didn¡¯t even seem to notice it, staring at the drop of blood.


    In one of the creepiest actions again I had seen, his eyes cross eyed staring at my finger, he slowly put his mouth around it. I was frantically trying to pull my arm away, and scratched at him. It didn¡¯t even leave a mark on his skin. I felt violated, by the feeling of his tongue against my finger. It was disgustingly wet and soft. He moved it slowly, for him this was a sensual moment. This was against my consent and I wanted out. I fisted my hand to give the best punch I could in this awkward position. Abruptly, he let it go. I fell on my back. The whole thing had been less than a minute.


    ¡°Now, I will always be able to find you.¡±


    Dazed, and feeling a vertigo at this sudden attack, unthinkingly I sarcastically retorted in a shaky voice. ¡°Charming, if only it worked the other way too.¡±


    ¡°Your humor endears you to no one here.¡±


    I understood the threat. Death if I failed. A hunt if I ran.


    Before I went in, I raised my head arrogantly, trying to get into the character of nobility. The costume I had on helped. I headed to the blue painted door, and knocked. I didn¡¯t have to wait long until a middle-aged man opened the door. He had the militaristically short haircut I had seen on many men. It was his wrinkles that showed his age, his hair a jet black, and his eyes with a sharp attention.


    ¡°Hello, Lord Ibis?¡±


    The man glared at me.


    ¡°The head butler at your service. How can I help you?¡±


    I blushed at my mistake. His further appraisal of me from head to toe made me feel like an unwanted dirt on his shoe.


    ¡°My arrival was prearranged, I am here for luncheon.¡± Naturally, it wasn¡¯t called anything as crass as an interview.


    ¡°Yes of course, domina...?¡±


    ¡°Marin la Mandra, please call me Marin.¡±


    He opened the door, stepping aside to let me through. The entrance to the house was a long hall. All along the walls were paintings, and there was a lush carpet underneath my feet. And yet, I saw the traces of difficulties that Vetus had mentioned. The carpet was old, in some places worn. There were lighter squares on the walls, hinting at paintings that had been taken down and not replaced.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I was led through a beautiful circular room, in the center was a table set for five. It was lit from the ceiling high above, that was translucent. There were four halls leading out of the room, including the one I was standing in.


    Going through one of them, we entered a sitting room. There was a middle-aged man, who I assumed was Lord Ibis, and three other older women sitting there. I guessed by their hostile smiles, that they were my competition. I was confused by this, Vetus had led me to believe that this was a difficult and unwanted job. Squaring my shoulders, I prepared to enter the battle.


    ***


    I had apparently been the last one they were waiting for, because it hadn¡¯t been long before we were invited to the circular room and sat at the table. I had a chance then to study Lord Ibis, he was an older man but tall and fit, with a commanding presence. He had the Lascan skin color, a light brown, and his hair was in a practical cut, shorn shortly, with tight curls around his head peppered with white. His face was grim, and was unfailingly polite to us all.


    First course was a light soup. I didn¡¯t recognize what kind of vegetable it was made from. It had a fresh taste, like fennel. Little did I know that it would be the most palatable dish of the meal. The table conversation was small talk, of issues I didn¡¯t recognize. I kept quiet and the Lord Ibis mostly too, silently observing. I understood that a part of the conversation was talking about the previous companion, the poor Domina Higgard with her delicate disposition who had to take a leave of absence. The main course was fish. Never again, I repeated my mantra and didn¡¯t eat a bite out of it. A favorite topic they spoke long of was the deterioration of Lascus, how it was past the glory of its days. It was only with the coming of dessert, a lumpy berry pudding, that the questioning began. From the inquiries they made of each other¡¯s journeys, I understood that they had gathered from outside the city. By some unspoken agreement that I had missed, it was Domina Vole, sitting across from me, who was the first to break the aura of silence around me.


    ¡°Where did you say you came from Domina Marlene?¡±


    ¡°Domina Marin.¡±


    ¡°Oh, please excuse me, Domina Marin. What a bitter name for one so young.¡± She was trying to discredit me, by pointing out my age.


    ¡°I understand, memory in the golden age isn¡¯t always as it used to earlier.¡± I smiled widely. I wasn¡¯t above jabbing back.


    She laughed. ¡°The golden age, what a lovely way to call old age. Truly, there are many things that become more valuable with the ripening of age.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, when I lived in the outlands-¡±


    ¡°The hilled outlands?¡± Another of the domina blurted out. ¡°Whyever would you live there?¡±


    All of the dominas glared at her. Interrupting anybody, even someone unwanted like me, was a faux pax. Lord Ibis smoothly interjected.


    ¡°Domina Saaten. Perhaps you and I can retire shortly for a cigar.¡± Domina Saaten, who had interrupted me paled, and murmured her acquiescence. Now we were three.


    ¡°Let us speak frankly child. From one woman to the next. You are out of your depth here. Leave now, and we won¡¯t hold your coming against you.¡± It was Domina Vole.


    ¡°If I am out of my depth, why not let things run their course?¡± There was an undercurrent of pressure from Domina Vole that I didn¡¯t understand. Vetus had led me to believe that this was an unwanted daughter to be a companion to.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be impudent. You embarrass yourself and all of us by being here. Lord Ibis would never accept a country bumpkin like you.¡±


    My eyes flashed. ¡°I am Domina Marin, from the la Mandra family. I have as much right to be here as you do.¡±


    Surprisingly, she seemed pleased by my answer. But before she could retort back, Domina Saaten and the head butler passed through the room.


    ¡°I bid you all well my friends.¡± She spoke stiffely.


    ¡°Have a safe journey home.¡± Domina Vole answered her.


    Following the head butler out, she left. Another servant in similar uniform as the butler came into the room.


    ¡°Domina Hylen, Lord Ibis would like to see you now.¡±


    She left, and then we were two.


    ¡°Domina Marin, now that we are alone, let me be frank with you. I admire your ambition in coming here. It has been a while since I met someone of your age with drive and backbone. But you have no chance here. Leave now, and you will be thirty leeras richer.¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°Fifty leeras then. Go and let us separate as friends.¡±


    ¡°No Domina Vole, I am not leaving.¡±


    Her hand on the table clenched.


    ¡°Then we will not be friends.¡±


    Domina Hylen entered the room again. Her head hung low. She made no pretense of not ignoring me.


    ¡°Goodbye Domina Vole.¡±


    I sat alone at the table, until it was my turn to be called.


    The room I was brought to was a windowless study. Lord Ibis must have a secret flair for the dramatic, the whole room was full of dark tones. I would have expected a study to be full of books, but the glimpses I caught as I walked in showed that the shelves were full of curiosities, strange objects and even a skull of something.


    He was sitting in an armchair a bit away from a worktable that was clearly used, a mess of papers was on it. Next to him and opposite were two more armchairs. I sat across him.


    ¡°Cigar?¡± He offered me, gesturing to a small table between us, with a pile of cigars built as a pyramid. Three were missing, each of the dominas must have smoked one prior to me.


    ¡°No thank you.¡±


    We lapsed into a short but intense silence. Our eyes on each other.


    ¡°So, Domina Marin. Why are you here?¡±

 Chapter Thirteen

    ¡°Same reason as the other dominas I expect.¡±


    ¡°This is highly unusual. There is a reason that companions are meant to be older. What stability, learning or life wisdom can you give my daughter?¡±


    ¡°You have had companions with all of those features. But you haven¡¯t had a companion with mine yet.¡±


    ¡°And those are?¡±


    He seemed open to hiring me. ¡°I am not much older than your daughter, but that is an advantage. Because I am closer in age it would be easier to relate to one another. Besides that, I have experienced the loss of my family as she has. I would not say that I am lacking in life experience.¡±


    ¡°I am sorry that happened. Those are good points, and I appreciate your honesty. However there is more in play than you know. I will not be hiring you. I invited you in out of courtesy.¡±


    His hand went to the bell on the table, to call for a servant. My hopes dashed, I was angry that he had even given me an opening, a piece of hope. I couldn¡¯t walk out of here without a job. There was an almost unnoticeable tremor in my hand, where my finger had been pricked.


    ¡°Wait! Please. There is another reason to hire me.¡±


    ¡°And what is that?¡±


    Whatever excuse he gave, I knew he was curious about me, otherwise he wouldn¡¯t have sat down with me like this.


    ¡°I could be your daughter.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± He was genuinely baffled by what I had said.


    ¡°If history had played out differently, if your family had moved closer to their past investments in the Ascended City, it could be your daughter sitting here, destitute.¡±


    I felt humiliated playing the pity card. It was shameful and I hated it. And yet, it had worked with the guards, although that hadn¡¯t been a calculated move as this was. Perhaps it would work now. I didn¡¯t have many cards to play. I had to use everything I could, I couldn¡¯t walk out of here without that job.


    ¡°The Ibis family has lived in Lascus since before even the empire. This was once our kingdom. We would never have moved away.¡± He spoke stiffely.


    ¡°Lord Ibis, sitting in front of you is a desperate person. Turn me out, and what will become of me? This companionship is my best hope for the future.¡± My gamble hadn¡¯t paid off. Curling my hands in my lap, I tried to think of what to say next.


    ¡°I care for my daughter, I want a good companion for her. A steady loyal one, who will not leave her. Not a desperate one.¡±


    ¡°I could be that for her.¡± I leaned forward.


    ¡°Pity would not work with her, she would chew you and spit you out in a minute.¡±


    ¡°If that¡¯s what you think, hire me.¡± I think I was getting to him.


    ¡°What would you do if you woke up to all your closet empty?¡±


    ¡°I would be happy for the opportunity to get new clothing.¡±


    ¡°Or if her pet savagely attacked you?¡±


    ¡°Animals love me. Wouldn¡¯t happen.¡±


    ¡°What if someone pissed in all your food for a month?¡±


    ¡°Pissed food is better than no food.¡±


    ¡°Or if someone hid rotten meat all around your room?¡±


    ¡°A chance to make some new rat friends.¡±


    With that absurd answer, that line of questioning stopped. Relaxing slightly in his chair, he asked next. ¡°What was your life like in the Hilled Outlands?¡±


    ¡°Hard. We lived poor, everyday was full of work from dawn until dusk. But I wish it were still so.¡± I smiled wistfully.


    ¡°Can you cook and clean?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°I would pay you a quarter the amount agreed on.¡±


    ¡°Done.¡± That was a harsh reduction. However I wasn¡¯t risking my chances by haggling, at least not now.


    ¡°If I would take you on, would you swear to me, that you will always be a loyal and good companion to my daughter?¡±


    ¡°I swear it.¡±


    ¡°You must swear it on your family.¡±


    ¡°I swear it on my family, the la Mandras.¡±


    I felt, more than saw, a warm flash from the necklace under my clothing. My vow had been witnessed. I wondered why it had worked that way. The la Mandra¡¯s weren¡¯t really my family. There must be more to the inheritance of this necklace then I had known. My line of thinking was derailed by Lord Ibis¡¯ next words.


    ¡°Very well. Then I invite you officially, Domina la Mandra, to be a companion to my daughter. Unofficially, you will also be a help to the cook and clean as Dominic instructs.¡±


    ¡°Thank you!¡± In my excitement, my voice came out too loud, Lord Ibis looked already apprehensive. We stood and headed to the sitting room we had first met, where Domina Vole was waiting.


    ¡°Domina Vole, I have invited Domina la Mandra to stay.¡±


    ¡°Lord Ibis, I thought we had reached an agreement?¡±


    ¡°I wish what is best for my daughter.¡±


    ¡°Very well. Domina Marin, I congratulate you.¡± She smiled thinly. The transparency of the smile reminded me of her earlier words. We are not friends. ¡°Should you have any other need to be fulfilled Lord Ibis, I hope you will think of me.¡±


    After she left, Lord Ibis called out. ¡°Dominic!¡±


    The head butler came in.


    ¡°Yes, my lord?¡±


    ¡°In unofficial capacity, Domina la Mandra will be helping in the house.¡±


    ¡°A domina is not what I meant when I asked for more hired help.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s what we can afford.¡± He seemed a changed man with the passing of the luncheon. Lines in his face relaxed, his face seeming more open and friendly.


    ¡°I am leaving. Take charge of her.¡±


    ***


    Dominic didn¡¯t take charge of me. He sniffed, said he was busy and called the younger servant, Lucas, to give me an abbreviated tour of the house. Lucas was quiet and shy. It fit me perfectly, I was not in a talkative mood, thinking over the conversations I had with Lord Ibis and Domina Vole. He showed me the kitchens, a once grand room built for a team of cooks. There was an old woman snoring by the fire and a young kitchen helper, Adriana, cleaning the dishes from our luncheon.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    My room was high up, on the third floor. One floor under the servant¡¯s. By the standards of the house, it was a simple room. But it was more than I was used to. I had a featherbed, with a bed table and lamp besides, a fireplace and a large colorful woven wall tapestry. My favorite part was the window. It had a view of the lake of Lascus, which the city was named after. It was sparkling and blue. I knew that underneath the deceptively still surface, were deep hidden depths. The lake was famous for it.


    It wasn¡¯t until dinner that my duties began. A light knock on the door by Lucas woke me up from my nap. I was to meet Lady Ibis, the daughter, and head together to eat.


    ***


    Knocking at the door of her private sitting room Lucas had led me to, there was no answer. Curiosity kept him around, but he had taken a few steps back. Presumably a safety measure from whatever bomb would explode when Lady Ibis and I would meet.


    When the second knock yielded no results, I called out, ¡°Lady Ibis I am your new companion, Marin, I am opening the door.¡±


    The door wasn¡¯t locked. I opened it to see Lady Solum Ibis standing with a confrontational look. She was slender and beautiful, with none of the awkwardness or bad skin that I had when I was sixteen. Her hair was a dark brown, her skin the same beautiful rich color as her father. Her greatest beauty were her large and dark eyes, framed by wide cheekbones, a straight nose and full lips.


    Pointing at me she said, ¡°General, attack!¡±


    A small scaled creature, the size of a chihuahua jumped at me and bit my hand. It was so small, that it was just hanging there by the teeth, a deep growl in its throat. I bent down, so that it¡¯s feet reached the floor. With the stability of the floor, it shook my hand in it¡¯s mouth, pulling and trying to tear at it. It was a beautiful animal, a bright cheerful yellow, to pale to be called golden, with a long and sinuous neck. It had a squashed looking snout, reminiscent of a pug. It¡¯s clawed feet and long tail gave it the look of a mini dragon, even with the lack of wings.


    The whole time, I remained silent. After the initial shock of the bite, it was easy. Eventually it stopped shaking my hand. Looking up at me with it¡¯s hand still in my mouth. It¡¯s eyes wide and cute, asking me why I wasn¡¯t screaming or attacking back. Speaking in a low, gentle voice I answered.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need for that, I am not here to hurt anybody.¡±


    It let go. My hand was bleeding, from the deep marks it¡¯s teeth had made. I ignored the pain.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you angry? General¡¯s saliva ensures that¡¯s going to scar you know.¡± Those were Solum¡¯s first words to me. As General ran back to her, curling around her legs like a cat.


    ¡°It would take more than that, for the scars I have within to be reflected without.¡±


    Looking behind me, I saw Lucas¡¯ wide eyed expression. His eyes following the blood dripping on the floor. ¡°Lucas, can you please show me where the bandages are? I would like some, to wrap my hand.¡±


    ¡°I will fetch them.¡± Turning heel, he walked nearly a run.


    Turning back, I calmly asked. ¡°In that case, shall we head to dinner?¡±


    ***


    The next morning was when the studies would start. Traditionally, I was supposed to be some sort of governess for Solum. I dressed in the same clothes as the day before. It was my only respectable set of clothing. Smoothing the front down, I took a breath, trying not to feel like a fraud. I didn¡¯t know what I could teach Solum, my own ignorance was often something that I cursed at. I wished I could be the student. My plan for the day ahead was to gather information on what she had learned until now, and how her studies went with her prior companions.


    Heading down, I waited for her to come down too. And waited. Waiting some more. Puffing up the flights, I wasn¡¯t used to them yet, her room was empty. I searched for Lucas instead.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he smiled ruefully. ¡°Dominic ordered me not to say anything until you realized. She¡¯s in the family study.¡±


    ¡°The family study?¡± That hadn¡¯t been in the short tour yesterday.


    ¡°I can show you. Dominic also wanted me to tell you that dinner is on you tonight. Lila wants a free evening.¡±


    I was looking forward to it, it seemed like it would be a relief. At least with cooking, I knew what I was doing.


    ¡°I will have it ready at the same time as we ate last night.¡±


    The family study was a whole separate building, built behind the mansion. It was a circular building, about the size of a normal house, surrounded by a garden. Saying goodbye to Lucas I went in.


    Entering inside, a smell reached me before I could get a good look around. A wave of feelings hit me so strongly, it felt like I had hit a wall. I could only stand there, eyes closed and let it wash over me. I was homesick. Homesick for that smell, and for the true place it reminded me of. It was the musty smell of paper, of ink, the unique blend of perfume when books are piled and shelved in the hundreds.


    ¡°Are you going to stand there all day?¡± Salum¡¯s derogatory tone knocked me out of my reminiscing.


    ¡°It¡¯s a library.¡± Was all I could say. My earlier plans on how to talk and assert myself were blown out of my mind.


    ¡°Obviously. Haven¡¯t you heard of the Ibis study?¡± Seeing the shock in my expression she added, ¡°Dominic said you were a country bumpkin. Can you even read?¡±


    ¡°Of course I can read.¡± I snapped back. Closing the door I walked in. The whole building was one room, by the stairwell in the center I could see that there was more leading below us. The top of the structure was translucent, like the center of the mansion. Salum sat at a grand table, General resting on the table. There were three, each facing each other in a triangle in the middle of the room. Salums table was a mess of piled books, and curiously what looked to be a mini screwdriver. The other two tables were empty other than that same tool. None of the decline I had seen traces of in the main house had reached here. The walls were lined all around the room by books, with no empty shelves.


    ¡°This is amazing.¡± As time had passed in this new world, it was not the superficial comforts I had in before The River that I missed most, it had been the ease of getting information, of learning. Of asking a question and knowing the answer within seconds.


    She watched me suspiciously. I headed to the stairs to peek at the room downstairs.


    ¡°You can¡¯t go in there.¡±


    Her words were unnecessary. I say that myself. There was a door and a locked gate in front of it at the end of the stairs.


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°That is the private collection.¡± She eyed me suspiciously until I backed away to sit at one of the tables.


    ¡°How does this usually go?¡±


    ¡°I read and you do whatever you want.¡±


    ¡°Great.¡± That probably wasn¡¯t the truth, but it was exactly what I wanted to hear. Getting up, I walked around to browse the books. Taking a closer look, I could see that they were not quite like the books of my world. Each of the books were screwed closed, with actual screws in the binding. To see the title, each book had to be taken out to see the cover. To read it, you had to carefully unscrew parts of the book. Taking a long time to look at the different titles, until with a happy sigh, I sat down to read. I felt at peace as I immersed myself into Legends of the Esoteric Ones.


    ***


    I ran to the kitchens. I had lost track of time, and it was less than an hour before dinner. Sitting in the chair beside the fire, was the same old woman as before, this time awake. Lila must have been the younger one, because she was nowhere to be seen.


    ¡°Late are you?¡± She cackled.


    I didn¡¯t bother answering. I walked towards the pantry to see what food there was.


    ¡°It¡¯s empty,¡± she called after me. ¡°Lila left you the shopping.¡±


    She was mostly right. There was a bag of flour, a slightly crushed bound pile of herbs and a jug of oil. There was no time to go shopping. I didn¡¯t even know where the market was. I wished I could ask my mother. She had been a queen of making something out of nothing. We had grown up poor, but I hadn¡¯t known it as a child. Her spaghetti ketchups, made from the free packets we gathered, had been a delicacy for me. Burying that thought deep, I stared at the items looking for a solution.


    It wasn¡¯t long before another memory tickled at me, and I knew what to make. It wouldn¡¯t be a very balanced meal, but it would do for today. After adding fire to the oven, I kneaded water and flour.


    ¡°Bread?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡± I answered. ¡°Flatbread, I didn¡¯t see any yeast.¡±


    She hummed.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Aemilia.¡±


    ¡°Marin.¡± I introduced that.


    ¡°I know that. What I don¡¯t know is what you are doing to that poor bread now.¡±


    I had flattened it out, and was giving it indented marks with my knuckles.


    ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡± Searching through the pots and pan, I found what I was looking for, a positively giant round pan with a thick bottom.


    The firewood had turned into coal, poking them around to the arrangement of my liking I added the pan to heat with some oil on the bottom. Before it smoked, I added the dough to the sizzling pan. Back in the fire it went.


    In the fanciest serving bowl I could find, I dumped some oil and in a smaller bowl, I crumbled the dry herbs. Dinner was ready to be served.


    ***


    ¡°What did you say this was again?¡± Lord Ibis was looking incredulously at the food at the table. Dominic¡¯s face in the background was a study of indifference, but Lucas, who had served the oil and herbs looked uncomfortable. Solum was poking at the cut piece of bread on her plate. It had come out perfectly in my eyes, a crunchy crust underneath and a soft pillowy top. The top looked like an artisan focaccia. A lovely smell of bread wafting up from the fresh hot piece on my plate.


    ¡°Flatbread, to be dipped in oil and herbs.¡±


    ¡°Where is the meat? Or fish?¡±


    ¡°There is only oil and herbs.¡± Dominic said smugly, perhaps he was not as indifferent as he looked.


    ¡°Try it. If you don¡¯t like it, then complain.¡± I urged.


    ¡°I am not complaining, only¡­ surprised.¡±


    Gingerly, he ripped a piece of the bread on his plate and dipped it first in the oil, and the dried herbs. That seemed to be the signal to eat, because Solum followed. I thought it was delicious, and enjoyed the simple fare.


    ¡°This would be acceptable as a snack, but next time make a more hearty dinner.¡± Was the last comment by Lord Ibis.

 Chapter Fourteen

    That night, as I was curled up in bed, my chest wound ached. Not the itching ache of healing, but that of a phantom pain. A reminder of the past. I wondered, do we leave something of ourselves behind with the people we meet? What had I left behind? My blood, sweat and tears were with Inparem, mixed into his grave. Ursula had my betrayal. The remnants of a broken bond. I could still feel it, a certainty that if I tried, I could reach out to her. I didn¡¯t dare. Not until I was worthy of it.


    After spending the day reading, I felt satiated. In a way a meal couldn¡¯t fulfill. Food for thought indeed. Some of the stories from the book, I had known different iterations of from Inparem. One of the legends had mentioned a dream traveler, someone who could walk through different dreams, not of his own. His talent had been celebrated, through his dream traveling he had spied for his kingdom, found his greatest love and greatest enemy. Until one day, when he never woke up again.


    I had traveled to a dream before. Ursula¡¯s dream, as we walked together in the forest. She had pushed me away, saying I should stay too long. I wanted to try it again, to try and share a dream with my mother, a world away. To tell her that I am alive. Are dreams bound to their world? Or with a frisson of excitement I wondered, are they bound between the living? If anything could cross the line easily between dimensions, I imagined it could be something elusive, such as a dream. My sister and I had been close, if dream traveling used love as a connection, ours would be strong. Relaxing enough after that thought until I fell asleep took many hours.


    ***


    An especially loud twitter through the window, started me awake early the next morning. A bitter feeling pooled in my stomach. It did not succeed. I would try again tonight, I promised myself that today would be a good day despite my failure. I entered the kitchens to talk to Lila. I hadn¡¯t appreciated the hazing yesterday, at least that¡¯s what I thought it was. It couldn¡¯t be normal for a kitchen of this kind of household to be empty. She wasn¡¯t there when I came in, but Aemilia was. I was starting to wonder if she lived in that chair. Her head was leaning on the side, from the angle of the door, I couldn¡¯t be sure but I thought she was sleeping.


    As I silently started to close the door, a squeak gave me away.


    ¡°Come in.¡± Aemilia croaked.


    ¡°Are you feeling alright?¡± I asked.


    ¡°A throat-sore. It will pass.¡±


    ¡°Let me make you something.¡± I knew that the pantry was empty, but perhaps there would be some tea somewhere else.


    ¡°There is nothing here.¡± She waved her hand dismissively. ¡°It will pass, it always does.¡±


    I heated up some water, hot water to drink might soothe her throat.


    ¡°I was hoping to talk to Lila about the food shopping, to avoid the complaints of last night.¡±


    ¡°Didna like it did they? I knew they wouldna. Lord Ibis lightens the market moneybag to that of a feather, but expects to eat like a king. You did good.¡±


    ¡°Where is the moneybag? Perhaps I can go shopping myself.¡±


    ¡°With Dominic.¡±


    Hunting Dominic down was easy, convincing him to give me the moneybag, was not. Finally, with a mighty glare, he passed it to me.


    ¡°There are exactly four leera and a quarter there. This is meant to last for the next week. Do not go thinking you can skim off the top, I know the market costs.¡±


    With that and directions to the market, I left. It was close by, a cleaner and more open place then the market I had slept in, the first night I had been here. The stalls were all well spaced, with wide shade brims. Each a colorful color.


    I hurried past the start of the market, I saw displays of jewelry and cloth. One had a display of weapons, gleaming with oil. Another had an empty table, with a plain tablecloth. The seller was sitting and meditating. Everyone gave that table a wide berth. When I reached the food part of the market I enjoyed the sight in front of me. I haven¡¯t seen such a big concentration of food anywhere, since I had visited a supermarket. Walking around one staring at the different food stuff sounded like a pleasant daydream to me now. But even better, was walking around in this market and exploring the alien food. On one display of vegetables, I saw a tied pile of greens, reminiscent of celery. It had a smell I couldn¡¯t place, until I realized that must have been what gave the soup a minty taste, that I had eaten in the luncheon. I remembered it well, because it had been the only pleasant dish then.


    ¡°How much for that bundle?¡± I asked the saleswoman. She had a likable visage. Her hair was swept up tied on the back of her head, with a blend of white and black curls exploding out of the tie. Her face was open and relaxed, although I felt that she had kept a close eye on me as I had wandered over.


    ¡°A quarter.¡±


    Internally, my jaw dropped. A quarter for a bundle of greens? I may not have had a complete grasp on this currency, but I knew that was way too expensive.


    ¡°Can you give me a better price if I buy more?¡±


    Her face soured, the open and friendly looked dropping like a mask. ¡°No haggling. This is the Noble Market. If you canna afford it, go somewhere else.¡±


    Good advice, I agreed with her silently. Outwardly, I wished her a good day and hurried away. I would try to find a cheaper market. I could take a look at the one I had slept in.


    Before I left, a screaming shrill caught my attention. A swift chopping sound followed, one that would have been inaudible against the noise of the market without the quiet sobbing that followed it.


    Heading towards where the sound had been, I felt sick at the sight before me. A vaguely humanoid figure was on a large chopping board, beheaded. It was a small size, perhaps standing it would have reached a little bit above my knee. The head lolling lifeless on the table was bald, with gills. It¡¯s eyes wide and lidless, it had a protective bubble around them instead. The whole of the body was blue, with green tones around the three fingered hands and webbed feet. Strangely, I couldn¡¯t help noticing that it was sexless, there was no genitalia. The strange mewling sound I had recognized as crying, came from a caged child on the table. The body on the table was swiftly packed in a fancy cloth, and handed to the customer across the table.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    The eyes of the seller turned to me, his next prospective customer.


    ¡°Hello miss, new around here? Havna seen you around before.¡±


    The butcher was friendly. Friendlier than the vegetable saleswoman. I wasn¡¯t falling for that again, I wondered what it would take for him to drop that mask.


    ¡°Yes, I started to work at the Ibis household a few days ago.¡±


    ¡°Ah, send Aemilia my regards. She used to be a frequent customer of the Lamellae. A product for only the most distinguished of palettes, such as for Lord Ibis.¡± Gesturing to the caged child he added, ¡°we had a lucky catch this morning. The younger, the better is what they say.¡±


    ¡°Do you catch and sell many of them?¡± I asked faintly.


    He smiled. ¡°There are many a traditional Imperial Lascan dishes made from their meat. Overfishing for generations has taken its toll. Today they are a rare catch, and treat.¡± He winked at the last word.


    ¡°But aren¡¯t they¡­¡± I searched for the right word, ¡°alive?¡±


    ¡°Feeling squeamish are you? My daughter doesna like them as well. They are just animals, I assure you. Can not even talk.¡± Casually he poked his cleaver through the bars of the cage. The cage was too small for the child to budge away, it shrieked. ¡°See? That and crying are the only noises they make.¡±


    Every fiber of my being disagreed with what he said. My experience with Ursula and the eyes of the child were proof of it. They were intelligent, and had ping ponged back and forth between us as we spoke. I wondered how not everybody in the market could see that. Those eyes pierced my heart, and I knew I couldn''t leave it here, to be chopped on a board still wet with its parents'' blood.


    ¡°How much?¡±


    ¡°Well, you being new and from the Ibis household... Three leera.¡±


    ¡°Three leera?!¡±


    ¡°Consider it a one time welcome price.¡± He was obviously pleased by my exclamation, misunderstanding me. The crying sounds from the cage had stopped. The child had gone silent. The silence of defeat, of giving up. My heart went out to it. It was more than half the market allowance but I paid it, carrying the caged child home. I sneaked in behind the mansion, hoping to get in from the back entrance. I wanted to avoid Dominic. It was late morning by now.


    Swinging the door open, I came face to face with Solum, General perched on her shoulder. She was probably on her way to the family study. It was too late to hide the cage behind my back, that would have brought more notice to it than keeping it still. I smiled as though I had nothing to hide, and said good morning. Ignoring my good morning, she asked directly.


    ¡°Is that for lunch?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I denied fiercely. ¡°It¡¯s a pet.¡±


    ¡°You bought a Lamellae as a pet?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Cute isn¡¯t it?¡± I held the cage up. General swayed his head closer, right outside the bars, the child bared a row of sharp needle-like teeth at him, in a mockery of a smile. I hadn¡¯t seen those before.


    ¡°Cute.¡± Solum suspiciously agreed. ¡°But forbidden. Why would you want it as a pet?¡±


    I felt as though we were in a strange reversal of our roles. In which Solum played the older, sensible woman and I the impulsive young one.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go to the family study and I will explain there.¡± Dominic probably wouldn¡¯t bother us there, or at least nobody had come by there yesterday.


    We walked in silence until the door of the study closed. I placed the caged child on the table I had claimed as my own yesterday. I crossed my arms, prepared to defend myself. Unconsciously mirroring me, Solum did so too.


    ¡°Why is it forbidden to have them as pets?¡± I asked. Here in the safety of the study, I felt control again of the situation.


    ¡°I do not know. It has been that way for generations though. Why do you want to keep it as a pet?¡± She questioned back.


    I sighed, uncrossing my arms. An idea forming, although I would need her help with it. ¡°I think it is a conscious being.¡±


    ¡°If Lamellae were sentient, then we would not eat them.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure about that?¡±


    ¡°Lamellae have been eaten for generations.¡±


    I picked up on her uncertainty. ¡°Yes, there is the weight of generations of actions telling us that it is fine to eat them. But if there was nothing wrong with eating them, why would it be forbidden to keep them as pets?¡±


    ¡°For some reason, I never asked myself such a boring question.¡± She arched her perfectly formed eyebrows. There was the disagreeable reaction I had expected. It hadn¡¯t taken long.


    ¡°Well, now that you are being asked, what do you think?¡±


    ¡°I do not know. Perhaps because they can be aggressive?¡±


    ¡°Does that justify a law, forbidding them as pets?¡±


    ¡°No, it does not.¡±


    I sat at the table I had used yesterday, Solum followed my actions and sat at hers. I knew then, that I had her attention. In my best teacher voice I asked. ¡°Can you think of examples of where ancestors were wrong?¡±


    In a voice that said she was stating the obvious, she answered. ¡°Lascan ancestors fought against the empire.¡±


    Not exactly the kind of example I had been expecting, but I rolled with it. ¡°If they were wrong about one thing, is it not possible they were wrong about eating Lamellae?¡±


    Dubiously staring at the child, she answered. ¡°I suppose?¡±


    ¡°What makes it okay for you to eat this child, but not General?¡±


    ¡°General¡¯s species have been eaten in the past. However they do not yield much meat, and are more valued for their looks.¡± Upon hearing his name, General¡¯s head rubbed against Solum¡¯s arm, unaware of the morbidity of our conversation. She continued, ¡°for a species to be considered sentient, they must have the capability of language. Lamellae don¡¯t speak, have delicious meat and are ugly.¡±


    The hope that I had been building up, came crashing down. Until she frowned and added, ¡°Although it is strange that keeping them as pets is forbidden.¡±


    Grasping at straws, I challenged her. ¡°Let¡¯s research why it was forbidden to keep them as pets.¡±


    ¡°Yes. And afterwards as a reward, we eat the child.¡± She smiled sweetly. I had asked myself why she had acquiesced easily. She must have realized that I cared, and was using this to hurt me.


    I gave a jerk of my head, not willing to truly agree.


    ¡°If this is a concoction to enter the private collection it will not work.¡± Solum suddenly said.


    ¡°The private collection?¡± I was genuinely confused by the sudden change in the conversation.


    ¡°Where we keep books from before Lascus joined the Empire, when the discovery of the Lamellae and laws concerning them would have been written.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t a concoction to enter there, I didn¡¯t even know you have books from before the Empire.¡±


    ¡°Good.¡± Standing up, she took out a key from a hidden waist pocket. ¡°I will bring books up from the collection, and we will look through them together.¡± Turning around before she went down, she smiled cruelly, ¡°the younger, the better right? I look forward to dinner.¡±

 Chapter Fifteen: Entering the Lake

    We worked undisturbed until around luncheon. Solum brought piles of books up to our tables, where we would then go through them. To my relief, the person behind the knock wasn¡¯t Dominic, it was Lila. Her eyes lit up when she saw the Lamellae on the table.


    ¡°Dominic said you went to the market?¡± She inquired.


    ¡°Yes, here is the leftover market money.¡± I handed the money bag to her.


    She immediately undid the drawstring, looking inside. I had hoped she wouldn¡¯t do that here.


    ¡°One Leera and a quarter left. Did you spend more than half the food money on the Lamellae?!¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Well at least we have lunch organised for today.¡± She stepped forward to the table.


    ¡°Absolutely not.¡± I said sharply. ¡°The Lamellae is being used for our lesson.¡±


    ¡°And what then, do you expect us to eat?¡±


    ¡°I am sure that you will figure it out, as I did last night.¡±


    She glared at me. My heart dropped a bit. I had hoped we could be friends. She was the closest to my age in the household. I felt like with this act I was cementing an antagonistic relationship that I didn¡¯t want.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    Before she left, a voice called out that had been quiet until now.


    ¡°Lila.¡±


    ¡°Yes Lady Ibis?¡±


    ¡°Would you be so kind as to bring something for the Lamellae to eat?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    The glare from before had turned into a flaming glower. By the look she shot me before she left, she blamed me. Solum had known how to fan the flames and done so. She was standing close to the child, cooing at it.


    ¡°Mama Marin did not think of getting you food, but I did.¡± Just as I thought perhaps she was warming up to the Lamaelle, she added, ¡°we are going to fatten you up, yes we are.¡±


    It snapped at her fingers when they got too close to the bars. That was why we hadn¡¯t opened the cage until now. Whenever something came close, it tried to bite. A bite from a mouth like that wouldn¡¯t be as easy to bear as a bite from General had been.


    Clearing my throat, I asked, ¡°shall we continue?¡±


    ¡°It is not worth it, when we will be disturbed again in a few minutes.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Lila will go to Dominic. He¡¯ll be here soon.¡±


    The mounting pressure I felt in the next few minutes made the innocent knock that came a relief.


    ¡°Hello Dominic.¡±If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°Domina Marin, perhaps you could step outside for a moment.¡±


    I closed the door behind me. The soft sound of the latch closing louder than it should have been.


    ¡°Explain.¡± He demanded.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°You spent more than half the money on an expensive meat, and now you are keeping it from Lila. What are you thinking?¡±


    ¡°My first priority here is to be a companion and teacher to Lady Solum. The Lamellae is part of an important lesson for her.¡±


    ¡°Is it? And where will the money come from? Your pocket? Or shall we all just starve for a week?¡±


    ¡°Deduct it from the lessons budget.¡±


    ¡°There is no such budget.¡±


    ¡°Well then, I will speak to Lord Ibis to rectify that.¡± Lifting my nose, in what I thought was a display of spoiled lady arrogance, I made a hurried exit that was too quick to be anything other than fleeing. I sighed in relief, when no other knock was sounded.


    ¡°Now we can continue.¡± Solum said. But another timid knock sounded, and with dread in my stomach, I opened it. It was Lucas. He was holding out far from his body a bowl of half rotting fish. It looked to be the leftovers from the fish served at the luncheon interview. It stank horribly.


    ¡°From Lila, for the Lamellae.¡± He said.


    ***


    Although we researched until evening, we didn¡¯t even find the official book containing the law concerning the Lamellae. After dinner, I spoke with Lord Ibis about a budget for the lessons. With the drama from before, I wasn¡¯t expecting it to be easy. However he was most congenial about it. He asked me how much I thought I needed, and with that I had a teaching allowance. Judging by the way Dominics eyes followed me, I didn¡¯t assume that it would be over as easily as that.


    That evening, in the privacy of my room, I carefully opened the cage, taking my hands back quickly before the perfunctory snap of his jaws. When I saw the hesitation of the child in exiting, I wished I had done it sooner. I couldn¡¯t have done it in the family study, I reminded myself sternly. There are precious books there.


    The child stank of rotten fish and it¡¯s own excrement. I had lugged two buckets of luke warm water up to my room for this. Talking in a soft voice, I coached the child out of the cage. I would need to name it soon, I thought idily. It slid into the filled bucket without much persuasion needed. I supposed being a being of water, that is what the child wanted all along.


    The difficulty came when I tried to wash it. I had a clean rag in hand that I had planned to use. However whenever I came close to it, it screeched at me. Eventually I gave up. I mimed cleaning myself with the cloth, and then placed it on the floor. Perhaps it would copy me.


    We watched each other for a long time then. I was sitting on the bed, and the child in the bucket. Eventually, when the lamp burned low. I tried coming closer to the child. No noise was forthcoming, nor did its eyes follow me. I realized by the rhythmic movement of it¡¯s chest, that it must have fallen asleep, without lids, the eyes didn¡¯t close. I lay down and joined it. It wasn¡¯t until morning that I realized I had forgotten to try to dream travel.


    ***


    A hitch of the breath was the break in noise Solum made, when she found something. The difference in noise compared to the turning of pages and even breathing until now made that hitch as loud as a ringing bell.


    ¡°What is it?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I do not know.¡± She handed me the open book. It was a particularly old one.


    ¡°The Treaty of the Four has brought peace and hope to the city. Once an enemy, now a tentative friend. The Lamaelle have much to teach.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand it, why would there be mention of a treaty? Or of teaching?¡± Solum asked.


    I flipped the book over, to see the cover. There was no title, but the first page revealed that it had been a journal of a head guardsman who had been charged with keeping the law and order of the city.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I think we¡¯ve been looking in the wrong direction the whole time. We should be researching past treaties, not laws.¡±


    Impatiently I waited until Solum came back up with more books. But that was our biggest breakthrough that day. We didn¡¯t find more. Tired but satisfied, I trudged to the kitchens. It was again my turn to cook tonight. Solum had been mainly indifferent to the research until that sentence. Now, because of this mystery, she looked through the books with a frown and a fever matching mine. Her past enmity put aside for now, but not forgotten.


    Something was different when I entered the kitchen this time. It was a small one, Aemilia¡¯s chair wasn¡¯t turned to face the fire. It was facing the kitchen table. I had a sinking feeling I knew what this was about.


    ¡°Hello Aemilia, how is your throat-sore?¡±


    ¡°Good enough for this talk.¡± She said.

 Chapter Sixteen: Into the Lascan Lake and a Map

    ¡°Marin, it cannot go on like this. You are burning a bridge with almost every person who works here.¡±


    Head hung down, I nodded. I knew this.


    ¡°You are doing Solum¡¯s work for her. She doesna even have to lift a finger to make your life unpleasant. Dominic and Lila will do that for her.¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re right Aemilia, but what can I do?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Make amends. Give the Lamellae to Lila. Apologize to Dominic, and pay back the money. From your own pocket. He wouldna forgive you for making Lord Ibis pay for it.¡±


    There was a short lull in our conversation as I washed my hands before mixing the array of finely chopped vegetables, water and flour. Raising my head, I looked at Aemilia. She was old, older than Dominic. She knew how things worked in this household. This intervention was moved by kindness, to give me advice.


    ¡°Thank you Aemilia, for caring and trying to help me. But I can¡¯t do either of those things.¡± There was no doubt where my priorities lay. Giving the Lamellae to Lila, to be served at a meal was unthinkable. Between choosing a debt with the vampires or Dominic, I would much rather raise Dominic¡¯s ire with the money, than be one iota longer in the debt of the vampires than need be.


    Her hands clenched. ¡°I thought you were smarter than that Marin. You may be a noble, but you have no backing. You need friends. Not making amends will show the others that you think you are better than them.¡±


    ¡°I really can¡¯t Aemilia, I have a debt I have to pay.¡±


    ¡°A debt? To who?¡±


    ¡°It is better for us both, if you don¡¯t know.¡±


    Her eyes pierced me. I was reminded of the fact that with her age, she had seen many people come and go in this household. She nodded slowly. ¡°I think I know then. I can talk to Dominic, but Lila will be up to you.¡±


    Moving the coals in the oven to my satisfaction, I put the tray of little vegetable balls in.


    ¡°Thank you Aemilia. I have an idea or two.¡±


    ***


    Lord Ibis picked at his plate, with bated breath, I waited to hear his verdict this time. It was definitely fancier than last time. My plate was a colorful mix of little vegetable balls, a cooked grain and a simple yogurt sauce.


    ¡°Better, but there is still no meat.¡±


    With that proclamation, Solum and I started eating too. Later as I lay in bed, I thought to myself that someday I would get it right. The child was opposite me, the bucket of water had become it¡¯s safe place. It didn¡¯t want to leave it. It recognized me, no longer screeching quite as loud when I came close. More a screech of warning than of fear. I fell asleep like that, looking into its eyes. This night I would try to dream again, I promised myself.


    ***


    It was dark, although my eyes were wide open. Light moved and rippled, with a mind of its own, giving an eerie look with waves of light. I was dreaming of water again, but it wasn¡¯t the river. I knew the river well enough to tell. It had a different pressure on my skin. A shape swirled at the edge of my sight. I twisted around, but it was faster. Something stabbed at my feet under me, and blood clouded the water.


    ¡°Stop!¡± I cried out, curling into myself.


    ¡°A speaker then.¡± A voice spoke in front of me. Opening the eyes I had closed, I could see well enough with the dim light to see a grown Lamellae in front of me. With the buoyancy of water, he had swum up to my height. The most catching thing was the child in his arms. I wanted to speak, to reach out, when I felt myself being pushed backward by a great force. The figure of the Lamellae and child still and unmoved by the force that held me. Darkness grew stronger, and I fought against it. My eyes flew open, I was in bed.


    ¡°Marin.¡± The last voice I expected spoke. ¡°Wake up already.¡±


    ¡°Solum?¡± She held a lamp up to her face. Her hair disheveled, she looked like she hadn¡¯t slept.


    ¡°Marin, I found it.¡±


    ¡°You found it?¡± I tossed the covers off. ¡°What does it say?¡± I wanted to head to the study immediately.


    Solum¡¯s nose wrinkled. ¡°Why are you naked?¡±


    I had forgotten that in my sleepy state. The only article I had on was Matre¡¯s necklace, swinging like a pendulum from the momentum of swiftly sitting up.


    ¡°And what is that scar?¡± She added, referring to the giant, jagged badly healed swipe of claws from my shoulder to my opposite hip.


    I ignored the second part, hoping that if I answered one question I could distract her. Rather than tell the truth, that I had no sleeping clothes, I said that it was easier to sleep that way. I tripped over my feet getting out of bed. An unplanned part of the distraction. A shooting pain of a cramp in my foot, the same foot that had been stabbed in my dream made me stumble. I thought nothing of it, and wore the same dress as the past few days. The ripe smell that arose from it was unpleasant, but there was nothing to do about it now.


    The study looked different at night. A magic of another kind hung about it, the darkness whispering of mysteries. Solum¡¯s table had been filled by an even larger pile of books than before, it was apparent that she had moved to the next desk, by the book she had left open. My steps slowed as we reached it. By the light of her lamp, I read the treaty.


    ***


    I set the slim book down. A book that was heavy with the knowledge it imparted.


    ¡°This is incredible.¡±


    Solum, who had been watching my face the whole time I read nodded. ¡°It changes everything we thought and believed of the Lamellae.¡±


    ¡°I wonder, how did it come to be, that this was forgotten?¡±


    ¡°The traditional dishes made of Lamellae, are imperial dishes.¡±


    ¡°You think it was the empire that started the fashion of eating the Lamellae? But why would they do that?¡±


    ¡°What I am asking myself, is how did you know?¡± Her voice was light, her eyes accusing.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    I tried to assuage whatever she was suspicious of. ¡°I didn¡¯t know. I had a feeling, when I looked into the eyes of the child. I saw a mind behind those eyes.¡± It sounded like a weak excuse, but it was the truth. Or at least part of it. I wasn¡¯t ready to talk about Ursula.


    By her eyes, I could tell she was thinking something similar.


    ¡°I can prove it.¡± I said.


    Rushing up to my room, I carried the bucket with the child, I did it gently so as not to wake it.


    ¡°Do you know how to get to the lake? Secretly?¡±


    ¡°Yes. But I will have to blindfold you.¡±


    What followed was a stuttering mess, of heavy breathing and cold sweat for a long time. Sudden pauses as Solum shushed me and we stopped. It was only once the hair of my forehead was completely plastered in sweat that she took the blindfold off. I didn¡¯t know where we were, but it was a secluded part of the lake. There were willow-like trees with hanging branches around us and a steep shore.


    ¡°What now?¡± Solum asked me.


    ¡°I need to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Are you serious? Is this some joke to you?¡±


    ¡°No, I need to dream travel, to speak with his people. I had already done it this night before.¡±


    ¡°I thought those rumors of the la Mandra family were false.¡±


    ¡°Well now you know.¡± I snapped at her, tiredness and pressure came together. ¡°Good night.¡±


    I lay down, and after a moment Solum sat too. I watched the child as I fell asleep, hoping that would help. I wished we could release it now into the water and be done with it. But that would be a death sentence. It¡¯s chances of survival would be low alone and close to the city.


    There is such a conundrum that when you need to sleep, you can¡¯t. That was the difficulty I was facing. Solum¡¯s soft snores filled my ears, as I finally slipped back into the dream.


    As though I had never left, the figure holding the child was still there. As was my injured foot, blood leaking from it and swirling in the water. In those small arms, the child looked safe, and at peace. Something relaxed in its face and posture that I hadn¡¯t seen before.


    Now, I was faced with a different sort of accusing eyes. I tried to speak, but my voice was muted, bubbles left my mouth.


    ¡°Beings of Earth and Fire cannot speak freely in Water. That should have been our first sign not to have trusted you.¡±


    I had a feeling it wasn''t necessarily talking about me, but humans in general. About the break in the treaty they once had. And yet, trust was a weighty word for me. Those words did collide with me personally. Ursula had trusted me. I too had not been worthy of that. This would be different. I was more conscious now. My choices, my actions had strength and influence. No longer did I want to allow myself to be swept in the river of other people¡¯s thoughts, wants and beliefs, as I had let myself follow Inparem.


    This was a dream, I knew it. I could change this dream. I pictured where we were sleeping. The branches trees trailing in the water, the solitude of the place. As though with a brush, I swiftly painted the image of the child with us, and Solum.


    ¡°A trap that has been tried before. If your wish to reunite us is sincere, you will come to us.¡± The figure swam away, I tried to follow, to ask how, but it was faster than me. When I awoke, it was the darkest part of dawn, when the rays only lightly touched the sky. Solum slept lightly, I had only to move towards her and her eyes cracked open. I told her of my dream.


    ¡°Then we should go into the lake.¡± Solum said.


    ¡°What?¡± I expected us to go back home now, and ponder the dream, as well as how to continue.


    ¡°I am responsible for this child. The Ibis name was on that treaty. One of my ancestors signed it, and betrayed them. We have eaten Lamellae for generations. If there is even the smallest thing I can do to right this wrong, I will.¡± She stood, and for a moment the sight of her flickered. I saw Solum, but older. Older than I was now. I saw who she would be in the future. A woman such as I was striving to be, a strong one.


    ¡°How do you think we can do this?¡±


    Solum smiled. It struck me that it was the first time she smiled at me. My easy acceptance of her words was unexpected for her. She had been ready to charge into an argument. Returning the child was something we both wanted to do, I wouldn¡¯t argue against that.


    ¡°You said they know where we are right?¡±


    ¡°I showed them the image, but they won¡¯t come.¡±


    ¡°We just have to swim far enough, deep enough into the lake, and they will find us.¡±


    ¡°How can you be sure?¡± I had dreamt the dream, and had not understood that.


    ¡°They didn¡¯t show you were to go, but you showed them. That means they will be heading here, just not to the shore. They are creatures of the water, they will find us.¡±


    ¡°And if they don¡¯t? We can¡¯t hold our breath long enough to rely on that.¡±


    ¡°Our necklaces will put us into statis. If it takes too long, my father can find us.¡±


    That explained it. I was wondering where her faith in the capabilities of the Lamellae was coming from, a creature that yesterday had been food. Her faith was in her father. Carrying the bucket, we entered the water together. I ripped off the bottom of my dress.


    ¡°We should tie each other together, that way we won¡¯t get separated.¡± A delay on my side of entering deeper into the water. My near death in The River could have been a decade ago and it would still be to close for me to want to attempt this. To trust in a necklace who¡¯s power I did not understand.


    ¡°Good idea.¡±


    With a short tie of a knot, we entered the water. I held the child in a way reminiscent from the dream. A dream it must have still been having, as it slept on.


    The water swirled around my legs with each step, getting swiftly deeper. The tie between us pulled me in faster than I wanted. Solum was walking in fearlessly. I admired her for it. We swam awkwardly, farther out to the lake. I was one handed, one arm wrapped around the child. We gave a large berth to some of the early fishing boats. Dawn was a popular time for it. When we had swum far enough into the lake, we started to dive. When Solum¡¯s strong strokes faltered, it was I that took over. I could hold my breath longer than her. Longer than I had thought possible. Determination kept me swimming downwards, through the inevitable clawing feeling, the desperation for air that was unstoppable. It was a relentless feeling. When unconsciousness closed in, it was not a relief. My last sight was Solum, necklace flowing out of her dress, floating with a death like visage next to me.


    Who knows how much time passed, until I awoke sputtering and coughing in an underground cave. It was lit by an eerie light, of a glowing moss. The cave was built like a low shelf, it wasn¡¯t high enough to sit straight. Where the ledge of the cave stopped, a few steps away, at almost the same height of the ledge, was water and Lamellae. Their heads were bobbing in the black water. There were five of them, the child was gone. In the dim light, I could recognize no distinguishing features between them, other than the one closest to me who held a wicked looking trident. Even by the soft glow of the moss light, it winked sharply.


    Solum was coughing next to me. I rubbed her back, helping her to calm down. She placed her arms around me, leaning on me in an unaware movement. It was noticeable for me, it made me feel protective. Our relationship was slowly changing to one of trust. It was precious to me.


    Leaning over the ledge, I dunked my head in to say a gargled hello. I remembered from the dream, that they spoke freely in water. I was trying to be polite, and speak to them on their terms. Taking my dripping head out, I saw the unmoved faces of the Lamellae. They hadn¡¯t dunked in with me. Perhaps it was the mix of the ghostly lighting and unblinking gaze, but they looked threatening.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I spoke hesitantly, this time in the air of the cave.


    The trident pointed straight at me. It came slowly closer, I didn¡¯t move. With a quick slash, the front of my dress was open. I was shocked, I hadn¡¯t expected this direction. But then I saw, the aim hadn¡¯t been to undress me, but to take a hold of my necklace, that now hung between the forks of it.


    ¡°No!¡± I said forcibly. I reached out to snatch it back, and banged my head against the ceiling of the cave. I didn¡¯t cry out, instead rubbing my head, the other hand clutching the two open flaps of my dress closed. The leader with the trident put on my necklace, and turned to Solum.


    Then, where there had been previously five unblinking gazes in the room, there were now six. Solum and the leader were locked onto each other. After a stretched amount of time, long enough that I noticed the shivering cold permeating the air and was shivering uncontrollably, their gazes broke. Solum looked down, her shoulders hunched. With the trident, the leader passed me the necklace back. She slipped into the water.


    ¡°Let us go Marin. There is nothing more for us to do here.¡±


    Something in her humbled demeanor kept me from asking immediately what had happened, although curiosity was beating hard in me. It grated on me that I have been left out of something, when I had been the one to care and protect the child.


    ¡°Is the child fine?¡± I asked. I would keep it at that for now. Later, would be the time to talk in depth.


    ¡°Yes, he is safe with his people now.¡±

 Chapter Seventeen

    Lord Ibis leaned over his desk. The sun shining into the room did nothing to make him look less forbidding. We had been found by an entertainment boat, filled with people enjoying the lake. There would be no way for our escapee to be kept quiet.


    Shivering side by side, Solum and I sat across Lord Ibis in hard wooden chairs. The cushioned armchairs we had used in my interview were off on the side. I pulled the blanket a bit tighter around me. I had not yet had a chance to change from my shredded clothing. Upon being brought back, we were both marched into his study room. Blankets hurriedly tossed over us.


    I did not know Lord Ibis well, but I could see on Solum¡¯s face that she was worried.


    ¡°Clearly, I underestimated you Marin. How long were you planning to kill Solum?¡±


    ¡°K-k-kill Solum?¡± I managed to get through my clattering teeth.


    ¡°What other explanation do you have for yourself?¡±


    ¡°She was not trying to kill me father, it was my idea to go to the lake.¡±


    ¡°Was it your idea Solum? Or did she set circumstances up for you to think it was so?¡±


    To this Solum stayed silent.


    ¡°We were learning about the Lamaelle.¡± I explained, straightening my back in an effort to gain control of my shivering body.


    ¡°Ah yes, and you chose the most convulted and idiotic way to teach my daughter about an empirial secret. A perfect explanation!¡± At the end of his speech he was almost shouting.


    ¡°You knew?¡± I was shocked, my eyes flicked towards Solum to see her expression mirroring my own.


    ¡°The question is not whether or not I knew, but how did you know?¡±


    I opened my mouth to defend myself, but then sighed. I didn¡¯t see a way around it, I would have to tell the whole story, well almost the whole story. Showing my scar was easy with my ripped state of dress. We were passed propriety. I then told them the ambush of Ursula that had been planned, and gone wrong. My vow to be different. I had not known about the Lamellae, but I had suspected. It had been a gut feeling proven right. Now here we are.


    ¡°Domina Vole said that I would regret hiring someone young, and you have proven her right. There were many better ways you could have gone around this.¡±


    ¡°How easy it is for you to blame our actions. What did you know about the Lamaelle? How could you have kept quiet about it?¡± My cheeks reddened at this. I was unused to standing up for myself, but this whole situation felt wrong.I felt a cold touch on my hand, surprised, I nearly jerked my hand away, until I saw it was Solum. She held my hand in support. I could see how Lord Ibis had become progressively angrier at my questions. However, before he could answer, Solum chimed in with something that took the wind right out of his sails.


    ¡°What other such secrets do you keep from me father?¡±


    ***


    Solum was locked in her room, and I in mine. In an act of kindness, Lucas had snuck me some needle and thread, to repair my dress. My head was full of what had happened the night before. I still truly didn¡¯t understand what it was. Solum and I had not the chance yet to talk alone. I didn¡¯t want to sew, I wanted to be somewhere else, to float away somewhere new. I felt as though it was my eyes keeping my body heavy, and that only with sleep could I hope for abandon. So I lay in bed, hoping for a dream.


    I slept fitfully, going from one scene to another. First there was a monster but she did not scare me. A monster was only how others saw her, not how she saw herself. Somehow I knew that. Then, I felt as though I was on a slide, underneath me a gigantic long lithe body that was stretching. I slid from the back down off the tail and plopped into the water. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Lamellae, I thought to myself as I swam deeper. Let me understand what happened, let me understand you. I thought I had said an unspoken prayer, but someone answered. A shadow formed, a hand waved, and an illusion of a great tree appeared from me, one I didn¡¯t recognize from the Walker¡¯s Forest, or from the Before.


    ¡°This is a tree, and you will never understand it.¡±


    The figure swan closer to me, webbed feet paddling back and forth, I could see now that she too, was a Lamellae. But she wasn¡¯t sexless, like the others I had seen until now.


    ¡°I am a Lamellae, and you will never understand me.¡±


    A shiver went through my whole body at the tone of her voice, and the rhythmic beat that came as she spoke them. A beat that grew louder and more insistent, until I realized it was not from the dream. Eyes opening, I turned to the door.


    ¡°Come in.¡± I spoke loudly over the knocking. Swinging my legs off the bed to the floor I rubbed at my eyes. It was dark outside, I must have slept the whole day.


    It was Dominic who had been knocking, with his large frame at the doorway it looked comically small. His eyebrow raised at the sight of me sitting in bed. I could hear his judgement as clearly, he was calling me lazy. I had no patience for that.


    ¡°What is it?¡± I asked.


    ¡°There is a bath waiting for you in the kitchens, wash yourself.¡±


    Aemilia and Lila were both downstairs, for the first time since I knew her, Aemilia was helping in the kitchen.


    ¡°Cut the vegetables thinner!¡± She instructed Lila from her work station, where she had a huge chunk of bloody meat. She herself was slicing it thin, picking up a piece and inspecting if the light came through it, before placing it on a plate.


    Where was usually Aemila¡¯s chair by the fire, was a standing tub.


    ¡°Marin, get in the tub and scrub yourself fast, we don¡¯t have much time.¡±


    ¡°Time for what?¡± I asked as I slid off my clothes. Stepping on a stool to get into the tall tub, I slid in. The water was a luke warm and soapy, as though it had already been used. Using the hard bar of soap placed on the rim, I began washing my hair.


    ¡°You have a guest. Lila, can you fix her dress in time?¡± Aemilia spoke in a rush, her careful slicing unpaused.


    ¡°Not a chance.¡±


    ¡°Well then, go to Dominic and ask him what to do.¡±


    ¡°Now? I haven¡¯t finished the soup.¡±


    ¡°Yes now.¡± Aemilia snapped at her. ¡°Marin has to be presentable.¡±


    Walking quickly, Lila exited.


    ¡°Can you tell me what¡¯s going on?¡±


    Aemilia sighed, ¡°Whities are coming for dinner.¡±


    ¡°What, why?¡±


    ¡°Lord Ibis asked them to. More than that, I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Opening the door, Lila came back in with a simple brown dress.


    ¡°It¡¯s mine and you better be careful with it.¡± She was clearly unhappy about it.


    ¡°I can wear something else.¡± I offered.


    ¡°You have nothing else.¡± She refused me flatly. ¡°If it were up to me you could go in naked as the day you were born, but that wouldn¡¯t be ta the taste of the Lord Ibis.¡±


    ¡°Lila, be kind.¡± Aemilia chided her. ¡°No one wants to be in her shoes tonight.¡±


    ¡°Especially because there ain¡¯t no shoes for her to walk in.¡± She snickered at her own joke. Any hopes I had at finding a friend in Lila were going fast into the past.


    ¡°Marin will wear mine then.¡± Finishing cutting the meat, Aemilia dipped her hands in water and rubbed them dry.


    The door banged open quickly, it was Dominic looking as pale with his chocolate colored skin as I had ever seen him. ¡°They¡¯re here.¡±


    In record time, I was ready. My hair was sopping wet, but I was dressed and clean, wearing Lila¡¯s shoes. She had refused to let Aemilia be barefoot. I didn¡¯t like how Lila talked to me, but it was kind of her to do so. Dressed in her things from head to toe, I knew that I owed her.


    Following Dominic into the circle dining room, I saw Vetus sitting at the table and Altus standing behind him. I felt a frisson of fear at his red eyes burning into me, my heart skipping a beat. I had forgotten the presence he had. Thankfully, my legs kept steady without breaking pace. Lord Ibis had his back to me, but turned as Lucas announced me. All eyes were on me.


    ¡°Thank you Dominic. Let us not be disturbed.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Lord Ibis.¡± Bowing to him and then shorter bows to Vetus and Altus, something Dominic had not done for any guests that I had seen, including the Dominas from my interview, he left. All eyes turned to me.