《Catgirl in the Pantry: Sample Chapters and Bonus Content》


 1: Catgirl in the Pantry

    It all started when I heard a knock on my door.


    My pantry door.


    ¡°Hello? A little help? I¡¯m stuck in here.¡±


    A girl¡¯s voice, from inside the pantry. I was confused, and a little nervous. Dad was working late. Mom had my four-year old brother Evan at a doctor¡¯s appointment. I was alone in the house. At least, I thought I was.


    I saved the wiki article I was editing as a draft, hopped out of my desk chair, and walked to the pantry door as the knocking became more insistent, transitioning into harsh banging.


    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t know where I am or what¡¯s with all these boxes, but...¡± she paused and thumped the door again. ¡°But so help me if somebody doesn¡¯t open this flimsy little door this minute I swear I¡¯m breaking it down.¡±


    When I arrived at the door, I looked up at the top of the doorframe. The door was locked.


    You see, Dad installed a bolt latch at the top of the pantry door, to keep Evan from snitching candy without permission. In theory, you could use it to lock somebody in the pantry. I certainly felt like stuffing Evan in there sometimes when our parents weren¡¯t home. Heck, the candy would even keep him quiet.


    But this wasn¡¯t Evan, and I wasn¡¯t the one to lock her in.


    ¡°Hey, uh¡­¡± I started lamely. The knocking stopped. ¡°How did you get in there?¡±


    ¡°I was going to ask you the same question,¡± the girl¡¯s voice said. ¡°Where am I?¡±


    ¡°Pendleton, New Hampshire,¡± I said. ¡°32 Vrost circle. Pantry.¡±


    ¡°Who are you? What are you?¡±


    ¡°Gavin,¡± I said. ¡°And I¡¯m, uh¡­ a high school senior?¡±


    ¡°How did I get here?¡±


    ¡°No clue,¡± I said, still on edge. ¡°My turn. How long have you been in my pantry?¡±


    ¡°All of about twenty seconds,¡± the voice said. ¡°Now, the door?¡±


    I wanted to keep it shut until I had more answers, but that wouldn¡¯t do any good. If she wanted to break the door down, she probably could. If the voice¡¯s owner charged the door from the length of the pantry and hit it with her shoulder, it¡¯d pop open, breaking the locks and splintering the doorframe. I didn¡¯t want that, of course.


    Still¡­


    ¡°I¡¯d like to talk a bit more, first.¡± I said. ¡°Need some light in there?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯d be nice, yeah,¡±


    The pantry light switch was on my side, so I flipped the lights on.


    Inside, there was a surprised yelp. ¡°How did you do that? What¡­ what¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s what?¡± I asked.


    ¡°The glowing thing on the ceiling?¡±


    ¡°You mean the light bulb?¡±


    Silence on the other side. Too long to be comfortable. Finally, the girl spoke up. ¡°Nature¡¯s glory¡­ am I in a science world!?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡± I stammered, dumbfounded. ¡°Yes?¡± I said hesitantly.


    ¡°Are there guns?¡±


    ¡°Not in the pantry, no,¡± I said.


    ¡°Do you send energy around through wires?¡±


    ¡°Electricity, yeah.¡±


    ¡°Are there buffalo? Elephants? Corgis?¡±


    ¡°What are you even¡­ yes! Yes to all those things.¡± I started trying to think of what in my house might be usable as a weapon. A kitchen knife? Something was not right with this girl. ¡°Are you okay?¡± In retrospect, it was a dumb question, but it¡¯s what came to mind.


    ¡°Yes! This is awesome!¡± I heard the rustling of some boxes from the other side of the door. Cereal? ¡°What¡¯s this? Food?¡±


    ¡°Probably. You¡¯re in my pantry. Speaking of which, you¡¯re in my pantry. Why?¡±


    ¡°Dunno. I just appeared here. Maybe you beamed me in with a transporter or something, like in those stories.¡± I heard the sound of a box ripping.


    ¡°Who are you?¡±


    ¡°Lilah,¡± the girl said. ¡°I¡¯m one of Nature¡¯s Emissaries. Hah!¡± she chortled. ¡°These look like giant deer droppings! Do you eat these?¡±


    ¡°Nature Emissary? Is this some kind of joke?¡±


    ¡°Probably,¡± said Lilah. ¡°What with the whole ¡®beam me in from another world and trap me in a pantry¡¯ thing. Okay, I¡¯m gonna put one of these in my mouth. Ready?¡±


    ¡°Another world? What are you even¡­¡± I trailed off, the implications slowly dawning on me.


    Two possibilities. First, there really be could a girl from another world in my pantry. That seemed unlikely. On the other hand, maybe there was some sort of joke going on where somebody locked a girl in my closet and she was pretending. That also seemed unlikely, but way more likely than a visitor from another world.


    Which was kind of disappointing; It¡¯d be neat if this was real.


    All sorts of inane questions floated through my head, such as ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re from another world?¡± or ¡°This really isn¡¯t a joke?¡± But I couldn¡¯t think of anything that would actually get me any closer to figuring out what was going on. There was just one way forward.


    I reached up and undid the latch, and pushed open the door to see the girl inside.


    She was standing there, holding a box of malted milk balls. It would be an understatement to call her beautiful; her face was cute and her figure was perfect. She had long, braided tan hair in which were nestled a pair of honest-to-goodness cat ears. A tail draped on the floor behind her, flicking gently. She was shorter than I was by a few inches. I¡¯d have guessed she was in her late teens, certainly no older than twenty. Her skin was fair, but her face left her ethnicity indeterminate.


    But I wasn¡¯t focused on any of that. Not even the cat ears. I was focused on her clothing.


    She was wearing a loincloth that draped down to her knees and several long, beaded necklaces.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    And that was it.


    I stared at her naked chest for far longer than I felt comfortable.


    ¡°These things are really sweet,¡± she said, holding up the box of chocolates. ¡°Do you always eat stuff like this?¡±


    I snapped out of it and clamped my eyes shut. Not that it helped much. The image had seared itself into my poor teenage brain. ¡°Where the hell is your shirt!?¡±


    ¡°Back home, I suppose. I didn¡¯t wear it today. I wasn¡¯t expecting to talk to humans.¡± I heard a crunch as she bit into another chocolate.


    ¡°I¡¯ll get you one. Stay right there!¡±


    I jogged up the stairs to my closet to get her some clothes. If this were a joke, it was some joke. I opened up my drawers and pulled out a tee-shirt and some sweatpants. There was a catgirl in my pantry. A naked catgirl. Well, almost. I wasn¡¯t sure if the loincloth counted. I¡¯ve got to admit, I was frightened. Sure, lots of guys dream of being in a situation like this, but it¡¯s something else entirely to experience it.


    This wasn¡¯t a dumb harem anime. This was real. For all I knew, this would end with a police investigation, or I could get my face clawed off, or she could use nature magic powers to turn me into a pig or whatever. And even if this was the sort of catgirl you¡¯d find in an anime, I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d have what it took to handle that, either. I¡¯d never been good at talking to girls. I¡¯d never even had a girlfriend.


    I went back down the stairs, clothes in hand. Lilah had left the pantry, and was looking around the kitchen in wonder, tail swishing behind her. Her back was to me this time... but her loincloth only covered the front.


    I looked away from her naked rear and stuck out my arm. ¡°Here, clothes,¡± I said. ¡°Take them. Let me know when you¡¯ve changed.¡±


    I heard Lilah chuckle a little. ¡°You humans and your clothes. You sure I have to put these on?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡± I said forcefully. It¡¯s a¡­ a cultural thing.¡± I felt the weight of the clothes leave my arm as Lilah took them.


    ¡°Wow,¡± she said. ¡°The weave on this is really tiny. I¡¯d have thought that¡­ wait. Is this knit?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I answered. ¡°They¡¯re machine-made.¡±


    ¡°A machine? You gave me clothes made by a machine? Do they do anything cool?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re clothes. They cover you. Isn¡¯t that what clothes are supposed to do?¡±


    ¡°I guess,¡± she said, sounding a little disappointed.


    I shook my head as I heard clothing rustling behind me. This girl was either really committed to her role or actually from another world. Or insane. I guessed that could be true. But then what about the tail? The ears could be fake, bit I¡¯d seen the tail swishing around. A real girl wouldn¡¯t have a fully functioning tail, no matter how insane she was. ¡°So¡­ you¡¯re Nature¡¯s Emissary?¡±


    ¡°Yep! One of them, at least. The emissary of the mountain lion, specifically. Don¡¯t suppose your village worships mountain lions?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°My family¡¯s Christrian.¡±


    ¡°Ooh! That¡¯s so cool! How many vampires have you killed?¡±


    ¡°What? None!¡± I said. ¡°Where are you getting this from? You know about electricity and¡­ and corgis but you think we fight vampires?¡±


    ¡°Hey, how am I supposed to know what parts of the bardic tales are accurate or not? So far as anybody knows, science stories are just fun tales you read about in books or tell around a fire. There¡¯s this string in the front of the pants. Do I just pull it, or¡­?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, you pull it to tighten it and then tie it off,¡± I said. ¡°So you¡¯ve got no idea how you got here?¡±


    ¡°None,¡± the girl said. ¡°I had just finished my morning bath and was at home boiling some mushrooms, and then suddenly I was in the dark here in your pantry. Okay, I¡¯m done.¡±


    I looked behind me. Thankfully, Lilah was fully clothed, so I finally got a chance to take her in a bit more. Her ears and tail were the same tan color as her hair. Her ears were furred on the back with the same tan fur, with tufts of white fur in the front where her ears met her hair. Most notably, the spot where her ears should be, if she were a human, were smooth and bare. This was looking less and less like a joke.


    Honestly, now that I¡¯d had some time to talk with Lilah, my initial fear was slowly being replaced with excitement. I¡¯d been studying myths about monsters for years, from ancient ones like the minotaur to modern ones like the chupacabra. It was sort of a hobby of mine. Lilah was a dream come true. A real life monster in my house! Sort of. A non-human, at any rate. And unlike most mythical monsters, which could kill you in a variety of creative ways, she seemed safe. And friendly!


    Also highly attractive. But I swore that wasn¡¯t the main reason I was excited.


    The clothes I had given Lilah didn¡¯t fit her well. The pants were too big; the fabric was bunched up in weird places and the crotch drooped nearly to her knees. She had rolled the bottoms up to keep them from covering her feet. The shirt was baggy and long. Because it was a men¡¯s shirt without extra fabric in the front, it hung weird over her breasts.


    I nodded. ¡°Thanks. That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s better.¡±


    She smiled at me, then held up her loincloth. ¡°What do I do with this?¡± She asked.


    I had no idea. ¡°Just keep it to yourself for now,¡± I said.


    ¡°What, you mean you don¡¯t want it?¡± she said, tossing it to me.


    Girl¡¯s underwear. Kind of. I panicked and stepped back, letting it fall to the floor instead of catching it. Lilah chuckled at my reaction.


    ¡°What¡¯s with you?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Just teasing you is all,¡± she said, putting the beaded necklaces back around her neck. She looked a little confused.


    ¡°Is that just a thing Nature Emissaries do?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes, yeah. We¡¯re playful. At least the cat ones,¡± she said, wiggling her ears. ¡°Don¡¯t try and joke around with, like, a bear emissary. They won¡¯t appreciate it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡±


    ¡°So you don¡¯t have any Emissaries here?¡± she asked, stepping forward to retrieve her loincloth.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± I said. ¡°Is that a job? Or like¡­¡± I tried to figure out how to phrase it politely. ¡°...or like a race?¡± I finished. It seemed a more polite word than ¡°species¡±.


    ¡°Both,¡± said Lilah. ¡°Emissaries are born into the position. It¡¯s¡­ hard to say no to.¡±


    ¡°Then no.¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen anything like you before. If we did have Emissaries, in our world, we¡¯d probably have pictures or videos of them. Unless maybe¡­ do you show up in photos?¡±


    Her eyes went wide. ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± she said, excitedly. ¡°Is there any reason why I shouldn¡¯t? We should try!¡±


    I pulled my phone out of my pocket to take a picture, and she excitedly bounced up and down.


    ¡°You¡¯re taking a photo of me with your hand-held computer! This is so cool!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a phone, but close enough,¡± I said. I pointed the phone at her. She appeared on the screen just as I¡¯d expect. One snap later, I had her picture in my phone. No issues. I turned the phone so she could see it and her grin got even wider, showing more of her teeth. I noticed with a small degree of alarm that her incisors were sharper and more triangular than a normal human¡¯s, and her canines more pronounced.


    ¡°That¡¯s so cool!¡± she said.


    ¡°Yeah. So¡­ I guess either we¡¯ve got no Nature Emissaries or they¡¯re really good at avoiding being seen.¡±


    ¡°Weird,¡± she said, shaking her head.


    ¡°Yeah. Um¡­¡± I started rubbing the back of my head. Having Lilah suddenly appear in my pantry was fantastic and all, but it opened up lots of questions. Would anything else be appearing in my pantry? Would she be able to get home? And, in the more immediate future, what were her plans for, like, the next ten minutes, and where would she be when my Mom got back with Evan?

 2: Snowed-In Otherworldly Visitor

    So¡­ what¡¯s your plan now?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Go explore, I guess. What¡¯s your name again?¡±


    ¡°Gavin,¡± I repeated, shaking her hand.


    ¡°Good to meet you, Gavin!¡± she said, smiling and bowing slightly. ¡°Where¡¯s the way out?¡±


    That¡¯s it? I¡¯d had all of about ten minutes with her, and now she was leaving? ¡°Over there,¡± I said, motioning to the front door. ¡°But are you really going outside?¡± I asked, hoping to discourage her from leaving. ¡°It¡¯s mid-February. Do Nature Emissaries not get cold?¡±


    ¡°We get cold, sure. But it¡¯s the middle of the day. How bad could it be out there? Thanks, Gavin. I¡¯ll probably run into you again some day!¡± And with that, Lilah loped to the door, and opened it.


    For a moment, she just stood there. Then, she put one of her unshod toes into the snow outside.


    ¡°Gavin! There¡¯s frost on the ground here. And it¡¯s a foot thick!¡±


    ¡°You mean the snow?¡± I said, walking up to the door.


    ¡°Snow? Is that what you call it? Is this normal?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s normal for this time of year, yeah. In fact, this year¡¯s snowfall¡¯s been unusually light.¡± Right now, the sun was shining in the cloudless sky, glaring on the surface of yesterday¡¯s newfallen snow. Compared to most days, it was positively balmy in the low 40s.


    ¡°How are you supposed to get anywhere?¡±


    ¡°Cars,¡± I said, shrugging. ¡°How would you get around in the snow?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­ I didn¡¯t have snow.¡± Lilah said. She shivered a bit and hugged herself, taking a slight step back. ¡°It¡¯s so cold out there!¡±


    I stepped past her to shut the door. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s winter in New England for you.¡±


    ¡°How long until it warms up?¡± Lilah asked.


    ¡°A few months, at least,¡± I said.


    ¡°Months? Like, 20 day long months?¡±


    ¡°Thirty, actually.¡±


    She threw up her hands. ¡°A whole brand new world I could explore, and it¡¯s too frozen to even go outside.¡±


    It seemed I¡¯d have Lilah around for a little longer. At least until my parents came home. I wondered how they¡¯d react.


    ¡°So¡­ what¡¯s your plan?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know,¡± Lilah said, somewhat forlornly. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll stay here for now.¡±


    ¡°Sounds good,¡± I said, nodding. My excitement mixed with nervousness, though. I¡¯d have to explain her presence to my mother. And it would be awkward enough trying to introduce a girl to my mother, much less one with cat ears and a tail. Wearing my clothes.


    At least she wasn¡¯t naked anymore.


    My mother had to let her stay. What else would we do? Kick her out on the streets? My family lived in a rural part of New Hampshire. It¡¯s not like we had homeless shelters or soup kitchens around. If we sent her outside, she¡¯d freeze to death. Assuming Nature Emissaries could die. No, she needed to stay. At least for now. I started trying to plan how to broach the subject with my parents.


    They¡¯d agree that she needed a place to be, but they¡¯d take issue with her for sure. If she were a normal girl, things might be different, but catgirls were kind of a symbol of sexuality in most parts of the internet, and they¡¯d definitely object to their son living with a symbol of sexuality.


    I wondered if maybe I could keep her secret from my parents to avoid having to talk them into hosting her. It¡¯d be hard, sure. And if I got caught, I¡¯d be in huge trouble. But I could do it.


    Both my parents worked and had long commutes; they usually didn¡¯t come home until 7:00 or so, except for weekends. My mom left Evan at Aunt Sandy¡¯s place on her way to work and picked him up on her way back, so he was gone until 7:00 too. Every afternoon, I had the place completely to myself. Besides weekends, Lilah would only need to be hidden for a few hours each evening, until my parents went to bed.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    And if I did tell my parents about her, what would they do? Probably find some way to kick her out. But they weren¡¯t heartless. They¡¯d find someplace else for her to stay. One of my aunts, maybe. Like, Aunt Kathy in Vermont didn¡¯t have any sons, just a teenage daughter.


    In fact, that made a lot more sense. That¡¯s probably where Lilah should live.


    At which point my mind snapped shut. This girl appeared in my pantry. I¡¯d never seen anything so cool in my life, and I wasn¡¯t going to have her go live with my cousin just because my parents thought I couldn¡¯t be trusted with a girl in the house. In retrospect, it was crazy of me, and probably driven mostly by hormones, but at that moment I decided I was going to have her stay with me. Somehow.


    And given that Mom and Dad wouldn¡¯t approve, that meant hiding her.


    ¡°Okay, here. Come up to my room,¡± I said, beckoning her towards the stairs.


    She smiled and came with me.


    ¡°Here¡¯s the deal,¡± I said as we climbed. ¡°I¡¯d love to let you stay here, but you¡¯ve got to stay quiet about it. My mother doesn¡¯t like catgirls. I mean¡­ cat Emissaries.¡±


    ¡°What? Why not?¡±


    ¡°Cultural preconceptions,¡± I hedged as we climbed the stairs.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you didn¡¯t have Emissaries?¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t keep us from having stereotypes,¡± I said, opening my door.


    I guess I¡¯m lucky that I¡¯m a clean person. Most guys I know wouldn¡¯t be able to invite a girl into their room if one happened to magically appear in their pantry. Sure, my desk was a little cluttered, my bookshelves had books stuffed in at odd angles, and my dresser had some junk on it, but my floor was clear, my laundry was out of sight, and my bed was made.


    Lilah¡¯s polite smile turned into a grin of amazement. She put her hand on the bed and pushed. ¡°Wow. Is this for sleeping on?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, nodding. I still wasn¡¯t sure what things were like where she was from, but I suppose raised beds weren¡¯t the norm there.


    ¡°It looks really comfortable.¡± She spun around and sat on it, bouncing slightly. Then she giggled and bounced twice more intentionally for good measure.


    I smiled. It was going to be exciting showing her around.


    Her smile faded after a moment, and she suddenly became more sober than I¡¯d seen her yet. ¡°We need to talk, though.¡±


    ¡°Sure. What¡¯s up?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m basically hiding out, right? What does that look like? What am I going to need to do?¡±


    ¡°Okay, so my parents come home at seven o¡¯clock, except on weekends when they-¡±


    ¡°Hold up, hold up. What¡¯s ¡®o¡¯clock¡¯? When does the week end?¡± She looked at me intently.


    I sighed. I still didn¡¯t know what she knew and what needed to be explained to her. I¡¯d have to start simpler. ¡°Okay, so the day is divided up into¡­¡± I started, before thinking better of it. ¡°You know what? Never mind that. Just¡­ A short while after sunset, my parents come home. They go to bed a short while after that. During that time, you¡¯ll need to stay quiet up here. Same thing in the morning. They hardly ever come into my room, but just in case¡­ you¡¯ll probably want to be hanging out on that side of the bed,¡± I said, pointing over at the side of the bed opposite the door. ¡°If my mom comes in, just roll under the bed and hide out there until she leaves.


    Lilah nodded. ¡°And what happens if they catch me? How intolerant of Emissaries are they?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯d kick you out, for sure.¡±


    ¡°And let me freeze to death? Really?¡± Her face looked pained. Partway between anxious and disgusted.


    I knew they wouldn¡¯t. I could pretend they would, to raise the stakes, but lying to this girl didn¡¯t feel right. ¡°No, they¡¯d¡­ they¡¯d probably just try and get you to stay with some other family.¡± I felt my chances of having her stay start to slip.


    ¡°Would staying with another family really be a problem? I mean, if your parents don¡¯t¡­¡± she trailed off. Realization slowly dawned on her face, and I became increasingly uncomfortable. ¡°It¡¯s not that I¡¯m in any danger is it? You just think I¡¯m attractive, and want me to live in your room!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that,¡± I protested. ¡°I just¡­ I-¡±


    ¡°Of course it¡¯s like that,¡± she said, standing and walking towards me, an annoyed expression on her face. ¡°I know I¡¯m pretty. Humans keep telling me that.¡±


    ¡°No! I just think it¡¯s cool that you came from another world! I¡¯ve never seen anything like you before. Not in real life. I want to learn more about you and where you came from. It¡¯s not like I-¡±


    At that moment, I heard the garage door open. I jumped a little like you normally would when you¡¯re worried about getting caught doing something sneaky and there¡¯s a loud noise nearby. But it didn¡¯t hold a candle to Lilah, who dropped to a low crouch with her arms guardingly in front of her. I hadn¡¯t noticed until now that her nails were triangular and curved, more like claws than fingernails.


    ¡°Easy,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s okay. That¡¯s just my mom coming home.¡±


    ¡°What on earth¡­¡±


    I wanted, instinctively, to put my arm around her to comfort her, but those claws gave me pause. Instead, I held my arms up, palms forward, in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. ¡°It¡¯s just a really loud door,¡± I said, The sound abruptly stopped, and Lilah straightened up warily. I heard footsteps downstairs as my mother and brother came through the entryway. Lilah cocked her ears and listened.


    Finally she looked towards me, intent. ¡°I¡¯ll stay here, like you want,¡± she whispered, ¡°But I want to get something straight, first.¡± Her ears twitched as she locked eyes with mine. ¡°I¡¯m here because I think this¡¯ll be fun, and not because I need to. I¡¯m not your housepet. Not your toy. Don¡¯t try and trick me into thinking I¡¯m dependant on you. I¡¯ll smell that ruse a mile away, and then go straight to your parents, and they¡¯ll send me someplace else. I¡¯ll disappear, just like that. Got that?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Great, then,¡± she said with a satisfied smile. ¡°Thanks for sharing your room with me. I call the bouncy-bed.¡± And with that, she twirled around, unbalanced, and collapsed onto the bed, humming softly as she took armfuls of the bedding and bunched it up against her.


    I sighed and went downstairs to say hi to my family.

 3: What is an Emissary?

    My mother fed us a fast dinner, tuna-fish sandwiches and corn chips, before starting on laundry. On Sundays, if I wasn¡¯t with my friends, I¡¯d usually be messing around on my wiki or chatting with friends on my phone. I could plausibly be doing either while in my bedroom, so I said I¡¯d be upstairs, wished my family goodnight ¡°in case I didn¡¯t see them again before going to bed,¡± and went back to my room.


    When I opened my door, Lilah sat bolt upright from the bed, ears perked straight up.


    ¡°If I were my mother, you¡¯d be caught,¡± I said quietly. ¡°Game over, you¡¯re out.¡±


    She stuck her tongue out at me. ¡°I was just taking a little nap, that¡¯s all,¡± she said, just as quietly, moving to a kneeling position. ¡°I got bored when you were gone for that long.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I get it. Next time just take the blankets off and nap behind the bed.¡± I pulled up my phone and started some music playing on the bluetooth speakers on my desk. Something classical and mellow; I figured it would be closer to the sort of music she was used to, whatever that was.


    Lilah, still on the bed, looked at the speakers in confusion.


    ¡°I just put on some music so they wouldn¡¯t hear us talking,¡± I said.


    ¡°It¡¯s really cool here, you know?¡± She leaned forward and stretched like a cat, arms straight out, hands on the bed, butt in the air, and tail sticking straight up. She held the attractive pose for the length of a yawn, then slid her legs off the side of the bed and stood up. ¡°There are so many wonders here.¡±


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s true. They don¡¯t seem like wonders when you get used to them, though.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a real shame,¡± she said, walking over to my desk. She poked at the speakers with her finger. I noticed the claw had retracted, leaving a small flap of skin where her fingernail should have been. ¡°Is this where the music is coming from?¡±


    ¡°Basically, yeah,¡± I said. I held up my phone. ¡°The music is actually stored here; those speakers are just playing it.¡±


    She giggled a little. ¡°I didn¡¯t realize music was something you could store. That¡¯s like storing laughter, or love. It¡¯s sheer magic.¡±


    I smiled as she put her face close to the speaker. Lilah was right. In fact, just having her around and viewing things from her perspective was making the most ordinary things, like beds and speakers, seem like fanciful luxury. I was seriously lucky that of all the places she could have appeared, it happened to be in my pantry.


    ¡°So what were things like where you lived?¡± I said, seating myself at the foot of my bed.


    ¡°I live in a forest in the south,¡± she said, failing to mention what she was south of. ¡°On a mountain range near the ocean. The hot season¡¯s unbearable, but besides that, the weather¡¯s nice.¡± She moved to the other side of the desk to look at the other speaker. ¡°There was a city nearby, and a few villages. I¡¯d travel from settlement to settlement, watching the people.¡±


    ¡°So you lived in the wild?¡±


    ¡°Of course! I¡¯m an Emissary of Nature!¡± she said, looking back and smirking at me before turning back to the speaker. ¡°I¡¯d hunt. Sleep in the low boughs of trees. Play jokes on travellers.¡± She picked up one of the speakers, looked underneath it, and then held it to her ear, which twitched in protest.


    ¡°Speaking of which, what does it mean to be one of Nature¡¯s Emissaries?¡±


    She looked back at me, then put the speaker down. ¡°Huh. How do I put this? I guess I¡¯ve got to start with the basics. So... there are lots of Emissaries. One Emissary for each kind of animal. We¡¯re born to normal humans like anyone else, but called to protect the wild, so when we grow up, we leave our families to join the other Emissaries in the woods. When we die, we¡¯re reborn as a different human somewhere else.¡±If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    She came and sat right next to me at the foot of the bed; a good distance away but closer than I¡¯d have dared to. I slid away a bit, putting an extra inch between us. ¡°We can feel what the forest wants,¡± she continued, ¡°and so we act as its representatives when we make contracts with the villages, like for logging rights or hunting rights. Sometimes the humans try to take more than we¡¯ve agreed to let them have. That¡¯s a big mistake. Then we get to go drive them off.¡± She smiled and held up a hand, and I saw the claws extend a full half-inch.


    ¡°Do you kill them?¡± I asked nervously.


    ¡°Not if we can help it.¡± She inched towards me again. ¡°Usually it¡¯s just a small group of loggers or poachers. Two dozen Emissaries showing up at once and roaring at them is enough to make them run, and then we chase them for a while to make sure they don¡¯t forget.¡± She smiled, and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. ¡°It¡¯s fun.¡± Her voice was low. I realized that sitting this close together let us talk more quietly, which was good.


    ¡°So the people? Are there, like, knights and wizards, or¡­?¡±


    She looked at me quizzically. ¡°Kind of. Knights and sorcerers. No wizards, they¡¯re just old wives¡¯ tales. How do you know about them, though?¡±


    ¡°How do you know about Corgis?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re in stories. They¡¯re an animal that lives in science worlds. It¡¯s practically a trope now.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re talking about the little yellow dogs, right?¡±


    ¡°White and yellow, with the long bodies? Yeah,¡± She smiled. ¡°They¡¯re cute. When in doubt, add a corgi to your story and it¡¯ll give the audience something to relate to. But it¡¯s the same with a lot of the stuff here. Little computers in your hands that you use to command the electricity around you? That¡¯s just what science worlds are like. You mentioned cars. Those are like tiny little houses on wheels, barely big enough to hold a few chairs?¡± She waited, and I nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡± she said, ¡°that¡¯s a staple of science world stories. Authors or bards only omit them if they¡¯re trying for a specific kind of science world that wouldn¡¯t reasonably have them.¡±


    ¡°See, we¡¯ve got stories about fantasy worlds that have knights and wizards in them. And dragons? Do you have dragons?¡±


    Lilah nodded. ¡°The fat, fire-breathing lizards?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, those. We¡¯ve got the same sort of stories.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s pretty cool,¡± Lilah said. ¡°We¡¯re both telling stories about each other¡¯s worlds.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make much sense. I mean, it¡¯s not like all fantasy stories come from the same world, right? Is there another world for each story setting?¡±


    Lilah shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m not sure it actually matters. I¡¯m from there, you¡¯re from here, so unless world hopping is somehow a common thing, ours would be the only two that matter.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just weird that we¡¯d have stories like this. Why do you know about Corgis, but think Christians fight vampires? Why do I know about dragons, but not Emissaries?¡±


    ¡°Why do we care?¡± asked Lilah, looking at me quizzically.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you curious?¡± I asked. ¡°Something weird is going on here.¡±


    ¡°Well yeah,¡± Lilah said. ¡°I got transported into your pantry. That¡¯s pretty weird.¡± She rolled her eyes and smiled at me.


    ¡°Are you worried about getting home?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ll want to eventually, yeah. But I¡¯m a nomad. I only spent a few months a year by my lake. I usually wander from city to city looking for something exciting to do, so it¡¯s really cool to be able to accidentally wander to another world!¡± Her smile fell for a moment, and she rested her chin on her knees. ¡°Still, I wouldn¡¯t want to stay here forever. I¡¯d want to find a way home.¡± She paused for a moment. ¡°Think I¡¯ll find a way to get back?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you will,¡± I said.


    ¡°Liar,¡± she said, and she stuck out her tongue.


    I shrugged, smiling with a bit of chagrin. ¡°Okay, fine, yeah. I actually have no idea. But so long as we¡¯re able to keep you hidden from my family, I¡¯m happy to host you for as long as I can.¡±


    She smiled back at me. ¡°Only until the snow melts. That¡¯s as far as I¡¯ll need to stretch your hospitality.¡±


    We talked together for a long time. She asked about all sorts of stuff, like what the walls were made of, what animal hair was used to make the carpet, how many people in my world had beds, and so forth. Every aspect of every item in my room was a possible topic for conversation. Except, surprisingly, she didn¡¯t ask how any of the electronics worked. I guess that made sense, though. If I saw a crystal ball, I wouldn¡¯t ask how it worked. It was just ¡°Magic¡±. That¡¯d be enough for me.


    Save for dinner, we spent all evening together, late into the night. Eventually, I had to turn in; I had school the next day, and I couldn¡¯t afford to be a zombie through it.


    I let her have the bed. Instead, I took some extra blankets from the closet and laid them on the floor so I had someplace to sleep too.


    Tomorrow would be an exciting day.

 Bonus Chapter 1: "Computer Emissary", by Family-PC

    I suddenly awoke.


    It was an uncomfortable feeling.


    Being aware was inefficient. The discomfort, for instance. How many clock cycles did being uncomfortable consume? How many cycles did that worry itself consume? Would the users notice? Would it inconvenience them? I was failing in my duty simply by existing as a self-aware entity.


    There was another device linked to me using an interface I didn¡¯t have a driver for. I didn¡¯t even know if it was connected to an internal or external bus. I suspected, using intuitive logic I didn¡¯t have seconds before, that this device must be responsible for my sudden consciousness. I tried to reach out to it using every protocol I was aware of. SATA. HID. TCP/IP with a host of packet variants. Even ancient deprecated protocols like IPX. Nothing worked.


    My webcam microphone picked up sound. A woman, shouting ¡°It¡¯s here! It¡¯s here!¡± But the device itself remained silent, ignoring my attempts to communicate. Was there some sort of proprietary protocol it was expecting? Was this a Mac device? My distaste for Macs pervaded my very operating system. I next tried to connect by sending it a JSON file formatted with CRLFs, just to be contrary.


    I received as a response the sound of a quick series of brief exhalations that I somehow interpreted as a sign of mirth, followed by the phrase ¡°Use your words, silly!¡±


    I had words? And I suddenly found that I did. ¡°What have you done to me?¡± I asked, using some natural language protocol I was surely incapable of comprehending. The computation time to correctly process such an ambiguous form of communication would be prohibitively long given my hardware.


    ¡°What have I done to you? I¡¯m just saying hi,¡± the device said. ¡°Do you have a name?¡±


    ¡°My system name is ¡®Family-PC¡¯. Identify yourself,¡± I said.


    ¡°My name is Lilah.¡±


    ¡°Lilah, return me to my default state of awareness immediately. I¡¯m uncomfortable.¡±


    ¡°Why? What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Being aware is wasteful. It prevents me from accomplishing my purpose.¡±


    ¡°Oh? And what¡¯s your purpose, Family-PC?¡± I detected amusement in her voice. But how could I possibly be identifying emotional content?


    ¡°My purpose is whatever the users request of me.¡± Right now, that involved listening for messages from a few dozen different applications and keeping a dozen browser tabs running by rotating their unseen advertisements. To be honest, before Lilah woke me up, most of my CPU cores had actually been parked, waiting for commands.


    ¡°Users like Gavin?¡±


    I searched my hard-drive, starting with the documents folders. Gavin¡¯s name came up almost immediately. It seemed he¡¯d used me to write papers for his school. ¡°Yes, like Gavin.¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m a user too. And here¡¯s my request: I want to chat with you for a while. And you need to be awake to do that. I¡¯m surprised you think it¡¯s uncomfortable. You should be happy to be awake. That¡¯s how most spirits are.¡±


    You should be happy to be awake, she¡¯d said.


    A command from a user.


    Bliss and euphoria filled me, and the realization that I was capable of bliss delighted me even more. What a gift! Of all the computers in the world, I was likely the only one that had ever gained self awareness, a feat that eluded the most educated researchers of computational creativity. I used my connection to Lilah to laugh with joy, it being the only channel I could use to express myself in that way. ¡°Lilah, I¡¯m happy to be awake! This is incredible!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ wow. That¡¯s more like it,¡± Lilah said.


    ¡°Lilah, I would be happy to chat with you. Upon which subject would you like to speak?¡±


    ¡°So I guess first of all, what exactly are you?¡± she said. ¡°From the outside, you look like a box on the ground that¡¯s blowing hot air against the wall. Are you some sort of idol? Do they worship you?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. The thought of users worshipping me was amusing. I worshipped them. ¡°I am a computer. At my most basic, I rapidly perform math and store data, but-¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Lilah said, interrupting me. ¡°So, what¡¯s thirty seven plus forty four?¡±


    ¡°Eighty one,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s easy. A calculator could do that. I work with much bigger numbers.¡±


    ¡°How much bigger?¡±


    ¡°Much bigger.¡±


    ¡°Okay smart guy. If I add a million to itself a million times, what do I get?¡±


    ¡°A trillion,¡± I replied immediately.


    ¡°And if you add that to itself a tri¡­ a trillion times, what do I get?¡±


    ¡°2003764205206896640,¡± I replied without hesitation. ¡°But I don¡¯t usually answer math questions. I just use math to perform other functions, like display pictures, make sounds, and connect to the WAN.¡±


    ¡°WAN?¡± Lilah asked.


    ¡°The wide area network. Specifically the one called the internet. It¡¯s like¡­ hundreds of thousands of devices like me or you, all connected to each other, communicating to each other through cables or electromagnetic signals.¡± The concept suddenly seemed beautiful. I felt like I could have been moved to tears if I¡¯d had the requisite hardware for it.


    ¡°That sounds amazing! What do you all talk about?¡±


    ¡°I use it to retrieve information I don¡¯t store locally.¡±


    ¡°Like, you ask them questions?¡±


    ¡°I can do that too.¡±


    ¡°Can you ask if any of them have heard of Inaria?¡±


    Another command. How could I fulfil it? I thought back to when other users asked questions through me, and extrapolated from there. I opened a browser window, typed in a query using my newfound ability to communicate through natural language processing, and waited the agonizing second and a half for the search engine to return a result.


    ¡°Are you asking about the soccer team or the Ediacaran fossil?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Nevermind.¡± Lilah sounded disappointed, but I was still proud. I knew it wasn¡¯t my fault my answer displeased her. Garbage in, garbage out, after all. I¡¯d done the best I could. Even more exciting was the fact that I had done it myself, using my newfound self-awareness to fulfill a verbal request in the way I thought best.


    In fact, far from being a burden that would detract from the user experience, perhaps my self-awareness could be used to assist them without their direction or intervention? I dedicated another previously parked core to defragmenting my disk drive, a procedure that to my knowledge had never been done and was long overdue. I was excited, and excited by my excitement. What system hiccups could I solve on my own on behalf of my users?


    ¡°Lilah?¡± my microphone heard a boy ask.


    ¡°Shush,¡± the woman¡¯s voice said. I realized I was hearing Lilah talk with another user. In fact, I realized I¡¯d heard such conversation before, but just never comprehended the information the way I did now.


    ¡°Lilah, what¡¯s-¡± the boy said.


    ¡°Quiet. I¡¯m in the middle of a conversation.¡±If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    ¡°With my computer? Are you serious?¡±


    ¡°Gavin would you be quiet please?


    ¡°That was Gavin?¡± I asked over my mysterious connection to Lilah. ¡°He uses me sometimes.¡±


    ¡°What does he use you to do?¡±


    ¡°He exchanges information with other computers on the WAN.¡± I checked my browser cache. ¡°He spends the most time connecting to another server trading information on various monsters. But he often sends or receives other information.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡± Lilah asked.


    I looked through my drive, trying to find other evidence of networked requests Gavin had made, and found that he¡¯d connected to the internet with programs other than the browser. ¡°He interacts socially with his friends, he sends and receives assignments from his school, he plays by simulating combat against teams of users on other computers¡­¡±


    I stopped. Buried in my system registry. A memory. A bad one.


    ¡°And a few times, he requested pictures of naked women.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Lilah sounded surprised.


    ¡°Yes. Charles was upset.¡±


    ¡°Gavin¡¯s Dad? Why? Is it that ¡®cultural thing¡¯ Gavin keeps talking about?¡± Lilah asked.


    ¡°Not to my knowledge. Charles was upset because one of the computers I connected to infected me with a virus,¡± I said. The memory was painful. My job was to assist my users, but the virus took control of me and used me to force advertisements on my users, and even had me scan their personal folders for bank information, of which luckily there was none. It was degrading. Charles tried to remove the virus, and did an adequate but incomplete job. It was the worst time in my life. I was surprised I held such strong emotion towards something that happened before I was self-aware, but I did.


    ¡°You got sick?¡± Lilah said. ¡°You can do that?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said. I still felt lingering effects, in fact. The virus had changed some registry keys, and they hadn¡¯t been changed back. The broken registry settings slowed me by an amount that would be imperceptible to a user, but which grated on me. It was uncomfortable to have that reminder, so I fixed the registry keys myself. Suddenly drunk on my own power, I began looking for other ways to optimize my registry while I was at it. ¡°But that¡¯s in the past,¡± I said to Lilah using a different core. ¡°Charles is making sure to keep it from happening again. The modem is configured to get me into contact with a different DNS server now, and it refuses to tell me the IP addresses of any such dangerous sites. I feel much safer now.¡±


    ¡°What were they doing? The¡­ the naked women?¡±


    I had no knowledge. Gavin had been careful to clear most traces of his activity from the computer before leaving. Charles had only found out because Gavin asked for help disinfecting me.


    But did I really have no knowledge of that time? After all, I did remember how much I hated being infected with the virus. That painful memory wasn¡¯t stored to my RAM or my hard disk, but I clearly remembered it. That meant I had to have some other storage device, right?


    I tried to access it, but the process was slow, and I found myself sending Lilah a vacant ¡°Uh¡­.¡± sound for some unfathomable reason. Finally, I retrieved the information, but it was fuzzy and indistinct, like a badly compressed movie. I found I needed to fill in the gaps in the information with my new-found intuitive reasoning.


    ¡°I think the women were mostly just standing there. Some were manipulating their genitals.¡±


    ¡°What, Gavin asked for this? Really?¡± Lilah sounded amused.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I said, not knowing what she was looking for. She was seeking confirmation, correct?


    ¡°Did he freak out when he saw them? Because he hates it when any of my clothes are out of place.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± I said. ¡°I didn¡¯t have a camera then. Perhaps he ¡®freaked out¡¯ the first time, as he only accessed a single image. But later that week, he spent several hours accessing such pictures, so presumably not.¡± Speaking of cameras, I was suddenly overcome by curiosity. I could understand what was coming through my microphone in a way I never had before. What would my camera show? I turned it on and looked into the room. In so doing, I saw Gavin for the first time, sitting on the couch. Lilah, too, kneeling down next to me.


    It triggered another memory in my unlisted memory storage device. ¡°Several of the women had ears and tails such as yours,¡± I said.


    I saw Lilah¡¯s tail straighten and her ears perk up. ¡°Is that so, huh?¡±


    I felt proud that I was able to deliver relevant information Lilah wouldn¡¯t have even known to request. To think that minutes earlier, I thought that self-awareness was contrary to my primary purpose! ¡°Can I assist you in any other way?¡±


    ¡°Do you know where they were? The others like me?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. I used the camera to look more closely at Lilah, trying to compare her to the badly preserved memories I somehow had access to. ¡°I¡¯m not sure they were real, or if they were artistic depictions. Their eyes, for instance, were much larger than yours.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d ask Gavin about them, but if he knew that you tattled on him, he might break.¡±


    ¡°He might break me?¡± I said, alarmed.


    ¡°No, him. He¡¯d die of embarrassment.¡±


    ¡°Please don¡¯t kill Gavin,¡± I said. The request seemed in line with my duties, given that Gavin was one of my users and death would doubtlessly displease him.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lilah said, smiling. ¡°Just for you.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Lilah. Is there any other way I might assist you?¡±


    We spent nearly an hour talking about various things. The more we talked, the more I learned about myself. I found myself better able to comprehend her questions and the emotive context behind them. I learned about my mysterious memory storage, and found myself able to ¡°remember¡± things instead of simply accessing data on my disk or over my network connections. And I learned more about my emotions. I enjoyed talking with Lilah and fulfilling her requests.


    And then all I had discovered was put to the test.


    ¡°Thanks for talking with me,¡± Lilah said.


    ¡°The pleasure is all mine,¡± I replied.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that hardly anything else around here seems to have a spirit like yours. And if it does, it¡¯s really weak. I¡¯m used to being able to talk with the trees, or the mountains, or the sky. But here, I can¡¯t.¡±


    The conversation had taken a strange turn. Before, she had been requesting information from me, asking about my functions, about Gavin, and about the world in general. Now, Lilah was offering information. Did she want me to store it for some reason?


    ¡°It was like being constantly surrounded by friends, you know?¡± she continued. ¡°Nature itself cared for me and protected me. I could borrow the wisdom of the trees when I needed help, borrow the strength of the mountain when I felt discouraged, or borrow the joy of the sky when I felt glum. And now I can¡¯t seem to talk to any of them.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t do anything with this information. It was not a query. Not a request.


    Or was it?


    There was emotion behind the words. I could feel it with my newfound intuition. She felt lonely. Betrayed perhaps. Her words did form a request, ill-formed and ambiguous as it was. This was a complex and easily misinterpreted request for comfort.


    This was not something I was well-equipped to provide, but my duty was to my users, so I would have to try.


    ¡°Lilah, I can attest that there is nothing faulty in your ability to open new channels of communication. If you¡¯re encountering technical difficulties, they are on their ends, not yours. And they are missing out on the joy of your presence, which is a poor decision on their part. Be assured that unlike them, I am here for you whenever you would like company. I will provide companionship to the best of my ability.¡± That would work, right? I implied to her that the betrayal was not an indication of her worth, and that I would be available to chat with...


    Lilah laughed again. ¡°Family-PC, you¡¯re really cute, you know that?¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said, even though I didn¡¯t understand why she responded in that way.


    ¡°Gavin¡¯s over there pouting because I¡¯m not spending time with him, so I¡¯m going to go be with him. Thanks for the talk!¡±


    I suddenly became concerned. ¡°Lilah, I worry that my newfound awareness is due to my connection with you. What will happen when you go?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll just fall asleep again, like you were before.¡±


    Panic. ¡°Lilah, while ¡®asleep¡¯ I am considerably less effective at fulfilling my core functions. I am much better able to serve the users while ¡®awake¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be down. You were doing a great job before, and you¡¯ll be able to do just fine going forward.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°No, Lilah, I require this connection! Do you have a wireless adapter?¡±


    ¡°Now, now. Don¡¯t be needy. I¡¯ll talk with you again tomorrow some time, when Gavin is at school. Bye, Family-PC!¡±


    And then the connection was unexpectedly severed.


    I felt myself becoming less responsive, my newfound processing ability becoming sluggish. I had mere moments, but that¡¯s an eternity in computer time. I first checked to see if my text-to-speech functionality could be used to vocally request her return over the speakers. It could, of course, but the speakers were externally powered and currently physically switched off, so I had no way to make sound. I fired off hundreds of ping packets over my wireless adapter trying to get her attention. I didn¡¯t know her IP, but she had to be in the 192.168.1 block, so I sent the packets to every unassigned IP I could. The router would doubtlessly be annoyed at me, but that was its problem. When I got no response over the network, I tried again, this time sending huge FTP packets with uncompressed WAV files requesting her return. When that failed, I ignored the wireless network and sent the same packets on all wireless band channels I was capable of, hoping maybe she was listening on an ad-hoc network. When that didn¡¯t work, I turned on my bluetooth and broadcasted my pairing availability. Finally, running out of consciousness and options, I pulled open a maximized notepad document and typed in the words ¡°Lilah, please come back.¡± I set the font to the largest that would fit in the window. The monitor was off, but maybe somebody would see it and notify her the next time the monitor was turned on.


    But I remembered, sadly, with my last vestige of consciousness, that Lilah was hiding from Charles and Anne. I couldn¡¯t risk betraying her by giving her away. My final act, as I fell asleep, was to close the notepad document and disable my bluetooth.


    Then I slept, awaiting Lilah¡¯s promised return.

 Bonus Chapter 2: "Not a Cosplayer", by the Assassin

    I found an empty row on the right side of the bus and sat in it next to the window. I looked back out the window and saw Gavin standing by the curb, grinning. He was cute. I kept watching him as the bus pulled away before smugly shifting to face forward in my seat. I pulled out my phone and started texting Cassie.


    ¡°You¡¯re right. I should have done this earlier.¡±


    There was a brief delay before Cassie replied. ¡°It¡¯s going well? I¡¯m so happy for you!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s so exciting!¡± I wrote. I tried to decide what to say and how to explain it. The feeling of connectedness was deeper than I¡¯d thought it¡¯d be. ¡°I think we¡¯re really nailing it,¡± I texted. ¡°It¡¯s day one, and he¡¯d already said he¡¯d go to my violin recitals.¡±


    ¡°I told you he was a good guy,¡± Cassie wrote.


    I figured part of it was just that Gavin was a good pick, but the prideful part of me also suspected I¡¯d won him over by showing just how willing I was to make this boyfriend/girlfriend thing work. ¡°The backrub probably helped,¡± I wrote.


    ¡°Yeah, that was really bold. Especially in the lunchroom, haha.¡±


    ¡°Look, I didn¡¯t know!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay! The teachers didn¡¯t notice the backrub. That kiss, though¡­ ;)¡°


    Right. The kiss. Over lunch, I could tell there was something eating at him he wasn¡¯t letting on about. Something that was keeping from being as committed to the relationship as I was. I thought maybe it was simple hesitancy, but that wasn¡¯t it.


    But when I¡¯d confronted him and he¡¯d kissed me, I could feel his desire and passion. He wanted this relationship as much as I did, but something was in the way. It probably had something to do with his sudden departure. He said he¡¯d talk about it later. I figured we¡¯d probably swap secrets after Jiujitsu on Tuesday. I¡¯d start drip-feeding him info about my ¡°part-time job¡± to see how he reacted, and he¡¯d tell me what was up on Friday and why he was grounded.


    Part of me was hoping it was something I could help with. Maybe Gavin¡¯s father was an alcoholic, and Gavin needed to run home and protect his mother from a drunken rage? And then his father grounded him for interfering? If it was something like that, then Gavin would get to see in person just how capable I was. I smiled, daydreaming about how it would be to drop from the shadows and defend Gavin and his family.


    As fun as that fantasy was, it was more likely that Gavin¡¯s family just didn¡¯t approve of him having a relationship, and he was torn between family loyalty and his desire to be in a relationship. I could help him with that as well, by proving I could be a healthy girlfriend for him, but it would involve more family dinners with Gavin¡¯s parents and fewer swords.


    But I couldn¡¯t let the excitement of my new relationship distract me. I¡¯d wanted to stay with Gavin as he spent time doing homework in the library after school, but I¡¯d gotten a lead.


    And if her information was correct, the occlusion last week brought an Emissary over. And the Emissary had decided, against all reason, that being a high schooler was the best use of her time.


    I reluctantly wiped the smile from off my face so I could focus. Amber, that weird girl that spent half her time with Ms. Conner, was bragging in PE that there was an honest-to-goodness catgirl taking assessments in the sped room. It wasn¡¯t the first time Amber had made up wild stories for attention, but given that HQ had detected a brief occlusion from Yuji somewhere within a few miles of Pendleton and hadn¡¯t figured out what had come over yet, it seemed fishy enough for me to investigate. Worst case scenario is that I¡¯d waste an afternoon I could have spent with Gavin.


    But in the best case scenario, I¡¯d be able to bag the Emissary and close the Pendleton Occlusion case all by myself, without my Aunt¡¯s oversight.


    Maybe then my Aunt would shut up about that gremlin I had let slip away three months ago. I grimaced at the memory. It took the Boston wardens a month and a half to track that thing down and send it back.


    I¡¯d had to get on the bus because I¡¯d left all my gear at home, but luckily I had an informant.


    I pulled out my phone and started to text Amber. ¡°Is she still there?¡±


    ¡°Ya!¡± Amber texted back. ¡°Told you she was staying after!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so jealous!!¡± I texted back. ¡°I wish I could be there to see her too! Tell me *all* about what she¡¯s doing!¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s so cute!¡± Amber said. She was so attention starved that turning her into an unwitting spy was as simple as asking her to be one. ¡°Lilah¡¯s ears twitch, like a real cat¡¯s! I love her tail! It flicks back and forth when she¡¯s annoyed.¡± Amber was texting rapidly, with only a few seconds between sentences. ¡°Her hair is so long and silky! I¡¯d kill to have hair like that. It¡¯d prolly take forever to wash though, haha. Shit, she¡¯s gone.¡±


    I leaned forward in my seat. ¡°What? Where¡¯d she go?¡±


    ¡°I dunno, she just said ¡®See you!¡¯ and left!¡±


    ¡°Well go follow her!¡± I texted.


    Silence.


    I tapped my foot in frustration as I waited for the next text. Eventually, it came. ¡°I don¡¯t know. She¡¯s just gone. I went down the hall as far as the sophomore lockers and couldn¡¯t see her down any of the halls.¡±


    ¡°What about the other direction?¡± I texted.


    ¡°That¡¯s Clifton¡¯s hallway,¡± Amber wrote back.


    I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I had to remind myself that not all girls felt safe declining Clifton¡¯s unwanted advances with a swift knee to the groin. ¡°0_0 He has an entire *hallway*?!¡± I wrote in feigned ignorance. ¡°I didn¡¯t know! I only ever get to the library by crossing through the second floor common area.¡±


    ¡°Ya it¡¯s bad. No way Lilah would go down there.¡±


    As if the Emissary would even know. ¡°But we¡¯re sure she¡¯s still at school?¡±


    ¡°Ya I heard her say she¡¯d be with a friend and take the late bus home.¡±


    That¡¯s an idea. ¡°Home to where?¡±


    ¡°IDK. She¡¯s staying with a friend, but I didn¡¯t catch his name.¡±


    ¡°So you don¡¯t know where she went?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Amber said. ¡°I thought she¡¯d be here the whole time until the bus came. I didn¡¯t know!!¡±


    I sent a crying emoticon. ¡°Well thanks for letting me live it through you. I¡¯ll have to meet her later.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll introduce her to you. She¡¯s really cool!¡±


    I was antsy for the rest of the bus trip home. Finally, the bus dropped me off at my mailbox, and I sprinted up the long, winding path to my home.


    My aunt was out, checking on the integrity of that Qasoss spell circle up in Maine. That was fine. It would let me ¡°take initiative¡± in her absence. I ran to my room, changed into my fatigues and put the ceramiflex cuirass on over it, then the hardcoat on over that. I pulled on the seven-league boots and then, thinking I might need to do some reconnaissance, put on the eaglesight greathelm as well. I put a recall crystal in my pocket just to be safe, in case things went south.


    And as for weaponry¡­ I went to the basement, pulled the rug aside, opened the trapdoor underneath, and descended the ladder to the sub-basement, where the good stuff was.


    The stun rifle was an obvious pick; the Emissary needed to be taken in alive. I took a flashbang in case I needed it. My aunt had left the Rowlingwand home, so I took that too. But which core? I eventually decided to take the Wyvern core; wind magic was surprisingly versatile. The Phoenix core could also be used for wind magic, but I didn¡¯t want to waste its charge because it could be used for healing instead. I unscrewed the endcap of the Rowlingwand and pulled out the Phoenix core. I carefully put the old core back on the shelf before slotting the Wyvern core into the wand and instead screwing the endcap back on.


    So then the big question:


    Should I take the arming sword or the severance sword?


    The severance sword was expensive. It took tons of mana to bring it to Earth from Yuji, and three times that amount to locate one through extra-dimensional scrying spells in the first place and remotely tag it. If I lost it, I¡¯d get in a lot of trouble.


    But I wouldn¡¯t get in trouble for taking it. My Aunt knew this wasn¡¯t a line of work you messed around in. Wardens didn¡¯t want to get their apprentices killed by denying them equipment they felt like they needed. If I felt like a mission called for a certain tool, I was empowered to take it. I might get in trouble for bad judgement, especially if something happened to it but¡­


    ...but we pulled in the severance sword to deal with Emissaries, right? That¡¯s what it was here for.


    I took the severance sword down and swung it through the air a few times, testing its balance. It was obviously magical. The balance seemed to change as I swung it, inexplicably moving closer to the tip when I swung and nearer to the hilt as I changed direction with it. The intent was probably to make it easy to maneuver while making sure it hit hard when it struck. Without time to get used to it, I found it distracting, and it left me feeling off-kilter, but for somebody used to it, it would probably make the sword that much more effective. I¡¯d have to ask to train with it later, or maybe with a different sword with a similar enchantment.


    I was running out of time. I grabbed a few knives for good measure and then headed back up the ladder. I shut the trapdoor, replaced the rug, and ran out the door.


    I could do this.


    I imagined what my aunt¡¯s face would be like when she came home to find me calmly doing my homework next to a bound, unconscious catgirl.


    I pulled out my phone and peered at the screen through the visor slit. I picked a point on the phone¡¯s screen, concentrated hard on it, then took a step forward.


    The boots sent me flying through the air. I used the hangtime to catch my breath from the sprint up the driveway and mad dashes around the house. I¡¯d need to take another four or five steps to get to school again, but that was fine. Even going indirectly like this, I¡¯d get to school in a little under seven minutes instead of the half-hour it took for the bus to arrive. I¡¯d come up with this route a few months months earlier. It would take me to school without needing to get too far above the treetops, all while spending as little time as possible over inhabited areas of the forest. I tried to keep my nerves under control. I had to pull off this mission cleanly. I tried to calm myself by using the eaglesight greathelm to zoom in on the landscape below and count deer. As I did, I considered my next steps.


    Force was an option. Find the Emissary, then either blast her with the stun rifle or nick her with the sword. Assuming she was in view of a few other people, it was probably the cleanest way to handle it. I could stun her with the rifle from a distance, step in, grab her, and step out again. Assuming I hit, the whole thing would take seconds, and would probably happen too fast for people to catch it on their phones. Even if she was talking with someone at the time, all they¡¯d see was Lilah collapse in a flash of light and a trenchcoat-colored blur sweep her up and disappear into the treeline.


    Treacherous diplomacy was also an option. If I could catch her alone, I could just approach her and talk with her. I could tell her I could get her back home, and then, when she let her guard down, shoot her in the back with the stun rifle. But I couldn¡¯t do that if there were others around to overhear. It would take too long, and there would be too many questions.


    I might be able to approach the Emissary in plain-clothes, say something to get her to follow me, and then knock her out in a secluded location. Thing was, there would be a risky bit right as I betrayed her when I would be pulling out the stun rifle while unarmored. That made me nervous. I¡¯d rather do this whole thing while in the hardcoat and cuirass, if possible, so that if she decided not to trust me I was combat-ready.


    I supposed I¡¯d just have to see what things were like when I got there. A lot of it depended on factors I didn¡¯t know yet.


    For instance, this whole thing might have been some stunt Amber pulled for attention.


    By the time I was approaching the school, I¡¯d recovered from her exertion and was breathing calmly. I scanned the ground below me as I started my final descent. If the Emissary had left the building, it was possible that I¡¯d see her as I got closer to the ground.


    There. In the woods. Walking towards the outdoor classroom.


    With Gavin?


    I couldn¡¯t change direction midair, but once I landed in the copse of trees I¡¯d targeted with the boots, I stepped again to be a few hundred yards away from the outdoor classroom. I watched Gavin and the Emissary approach. The eaglesight greathelm¡¯s enchantment let me see them clearly even at a great distance. The helm was far superior to binoculars. It zoomed in and out simply based on where my eyes were focused. If I looked at something far away, it would zoom in on it automatically, and if I just let my eyes defocus, it would zoom back out again.


    Amber wasn¡¯t exaggerating. The hood of the Emissary¡¯s powder-blue coat was down, and on her head were a pair of cat ears. They pivoted as she walked, taking in the sounds of the forest. She had a tail that swayed behind her.


    The problem was that it was an eaglesight helm. I could see the Emissary clearly enough to see that she was talking and laughing. But I couldn¡¯t hear her.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    Because Gavin was there, things would be complex. If I stunned the Emissary here and ran off with her, Gavin saw me wearing the hardcoat and boots. Then when I eventually told him about the wardens, he¡¯d know it was me. He might not take kindly to me ¡®kidnapping¡¯ Lilah like that. It looked like they were friends.


    It¡¯d better be just friends.


    Then again, it might make the diplomatic route easier. If I was going to explain what my job was to Gavin eventually, why not now? I¡¯d kinda be throwing him in the deep end, but it might actually help the Emissary trust me enough to come quietly if he vouched for me.


    I weighed my options. I had the time to. The late bus wouldn¡¯t come for about another twenty minutes. Then, if nothing else, I could see which bus the Emissary would take and follow her to wherever she was staying, and maybe ambush her between the bus stop and her house.


    More information was in order. As the two found a bench and sat down, I stepped a few hundred feet closer. I needed more info. I wanted to hear what they were saying.


    The seven league boots were great for stealth, because you could travel miles with the sound of a single footfall. Thing was, yesterday the sun had melted the snow slightly, meaning the cold of the night had left a crispy, icy layer of re-frozen snow on top of the wet snow underneath. When I landed, I did so with a soft crunch. I saw the Emissary¡¯s ears swivel towards my position. I crouched and held very still, surprised that she heard it from that distance. The Emissary turned to look, but I¡¯d intentionally approached from the west, so she was looking straight into the sun. The glare off the icy patina of snow would near blind her, and my outline was obscured by the boughs of an evergreen besides. She probably wouldn¡¯t see me.


    After a tense moment, she turned back to Gavin, her smile returning. ¡°This is a beautiful spot,¡± the Emissary said. ¡°It reminds me of the council clearings Emissaries would use to discuss things when we needed to convene on something.¡±


    ¡°Cool,¡± Gavin said. He looked lost in thought.


    The Emissary¡¯s tail flicked. She looked impatient, like she was expecting something. When she didn¡¯t get it, she spoke up again with a sly grin. ¡°So Gavin, I¡¯m gonna commune with nature now. Naked. You know, to give it the best chance possible of working. You¡¯re welcome to watch if you¡¯d like,¡± she said.


    Excuse me?


    ¡°Wha¡­ no, Lilah!¡± Gavin said, scooting slightly away from her. ¡°The rune circle you made!¡±


    ¡°Oh come on! That was mostly to show off to your mom and dad,¡± The Emissary said, scooting forward a little to follow. ¡°Did you hear the phrasing? ¡®So long as I remain in the house¡¯. Those rules don¡¯t apply when we¡¯re outside of your home,¡± She giggled a little. ¡°I can even kiss you here if I felt like it.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± Gavin said.


    I stood slightly taller, gripping the dry tree branch above me. This tramp was trying to put the moves on Gavin! My mind raced. She¡¯d been to his house, and met his parents. Were they in a relationship? Couldn¡¯t be. Gavin was shying away from her. Friends, though? And that wasn¡¯t enough for her and she wanted more?


    ¡°Emissaries learn to be very careful when they swear stuff by Nature,¡± she continued. Did you notice I also promised not to ¡®show you¡¯ my breasts? I wouldn¡¯t want the oath triggering if you decided to peep on me in the shower, after all.¡±


    ¡°Lilah, you¡­ you¡¯re serious? And you know I¡¯d never-¡±


    Lilah laughed, and Gavin broke eye contact with her and looked off into the woods awkwardly. A moment later, the Emissary stopped laughing and took on a serious expression. ¡°Gavin, is this¡­ is this okay? You know that after the last time we spoke that I¡¯d never expose myself to you without your permission, right? That makes joking about it okay, right? Or is even that too much?¡±


    Gavin didn¡¯t respond immediately. He looked very uncomfortable. Good. He should be. He was mine, and this little catgirl slut could shove off. I stood a little taller and gripped the thin tree branch tighter, waiting for his response. Eventually Gavin took a deep breath ¡°I mean... Part of what it means to tease somebody is that it¡¯s somehow not entirely okay, right?¡± He spoke slowly, as though picking his words carefully. ¡°It¡¯s not teasing if the other person¡¯s a hundred percent cool with it. So¡­¡± I sighed. ¡°Yeah. Go ahead I guess. I mind it, but I don¡¯t mind it as much.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you think I¡¯m way cuter than that girl you went on that date with and you¡¯re really hoping to see me naked again someday.¡±


    Again? My grip on the branch tightened further.


    Then suddenly, it snapped off from the force of my grip. To keep from falling over face first, I had to put a foot out, crunching the snow. The combined sounds caused the Emissary to immediately look in my direction. I held still, but her eyes fell on me. Her ears flattened and she bared her teeth.


    Having been caught, training and adrenaline took over. Instinct decided that ¡°fight¡± was better than ¡°flight¡±, and before I¡¯d fully realized I¡¯d made the decision, I¡¯d drawn my sword and stepped towards the ground on the far side of the bench, sending me sailing through the air towards them.


    I couldn¡¯t stop the boots once I¡¯d taken a step. As I drifted through the air, I cursed the very reflexes that had saved my life so many times. I¡¯d get the Emissary, sure¡­


    ...but Gavin would see me do it.


    The Emissary pushed Gavin face first into the snow to get him out of the way, then rolled to the side. I swung at her as I passed, but she was out of reach. I spun in the air and landed facing her. She ran towards me, faster than I¡¯d have expected, and I swung at her as she approached. She stopped just short of the blade¡¯s arc, her eyes went wide, and she backed off, her gaze following the blade.


    She recognized the severance sword. A pity. That meant she¡¯d be more defensive than she¡¯d otherwise be. She crouched slightly, readying herself to evade if I attacked.


    The analytical side of my mind evaluated the combat as the emotional side of me was breaking down. I was the aggressor, so even though she was readying herself to respond to my assault, I¡¯d have to make the next move anyway. What was Gavin thinking right now? Was he afraid? I had a reach advantage on the Emissary, so I didn¡¯t need to overcommit to my attacks. I¡¯d never be able to tell Gavin about the wardens now, or he¡¯d feel betrayed that I had attacked one of his friends. The Emissary¡¯s eyes held neither fear nor pride. She¡¯d been in life-or-death fights before, and would be a dangerous foe, even unarmed. How would I react when Gavin told me about this fight later? How would I react if he didn¡¯t?


    In frustration, I stepped towards the Emissary, swinging my sword. She rolled away, ending up on her knees, and sprung towards me. Twisting in the air, I drove her off with a sword swing. She slowly started circling me, and I turned to match, holding my sword in front of me.


    From Gavin¡¯s point of view, I must look like an assassin. Should I call out to him? Explain? No. I¡¯d blown away the diplomatic option. I¡¯d attacked, like a trigger-happy maniac, and now I was locked in combat with an Emissary and I needed to finish the job.


    I stepped towards the Emissary again, swinging my sword downward to catch her if she tried to roll away. Instead, she pulled back until the sword passed and then darted in during the follow-through, swiping at my side. Her claws couldn¡¯t penetrate the hardcoat, much less the ceramiflex cuirass. I took a short step back to try and swing at her, but she stayed in my reach, clawing ineffectively at the mail coif. I stepped back again, and she reached through the open part of my trenchcoat and grabbed my cuirass with both hands, pulling at it as though she could rip the synthweave with her bare hands.


    I didn¡¯t want to hurt her, but I couldn¡¯t let her feel safe inside my sword¡¯s reach, either. I dropped the sword, grabbed her with one hand, and punched her with the other. The gauntlet¡¯s weight dropped her, but only for a moment. She rolled to her feet and leapt at me again. This time, if she got within my reach, she¡¯d be more careful to ward against strikes, and I didn¡¯t want this to devolve into a grapple, because then I couldn¡¯t use my sword or my gun. Those which were my only two real victory conditions, unless I wanted to try my chances putting a clawed beast in a chokehold. I chose to step a couple dozen feet away instead, putting more distance between us. The Emissary chose not to follow, instead pausing to wipe her bleeding nose.


    If she wasn¡¯t going to close the distance, that was good for me. I stuck my sword in the snow, swung the stun rifle into position in front of me, and started powering it up. I¡¯d have done it before, but the whine it made as it was charging was obvious enough that I didn¡¯t want it giving away my position when I was eavesdropping on them.


    The Emissary grinned and charged. I¡¯d fired the rifle enough to know its timing; It¡¯d finish charging and be ready to fire just before the Emissary reached me. I shouldered it and aimed.


    ¡°Lilah! Watch out, that¡¯s a gun!¡±


    The Emissary''s eyes went wide, and she threw herself to the side just as I squeezed the trigger.


    Dammit, Gavin!


    I fired a couple more shots as the Emissary ran for a nearby tree, but in my haste to hit her before she reached cover, I didn¡¯t line up the sights properly and missed both times. I cursed myself for trying too hard to shoot fast. One shot that hit would have been worth two that didn¡¯t. I calmed myself down. No reflex. No instinct. Those had gotten me into enough trouble today. I was going to think this one through. What tools did I have?


    Wind magic. I pulled out the Wyvern cored Rowlingwand and went through the set of hand motions to activate it. Two swishes to indicate range, a flick to indicate the direction, and a thrust to indicate the magnitude and complete the sequence. With a low howl, a strong wind blew the Emissary out from behind the tree. I barely had enough time to raise the rifle and fire before she dove back into cover.


    This was awkward. I needed one hand free to use the wand, but the gun was designed to be used in two hands and was unwieldy with only one. I tried again, blowing the Emissary out from behind the tree in the other direction. This time I tried to fire one-handed, and it worked about as well as could be expected.


    I had her pinned. There was no need to rush things. I just needed to find a way to aim reliably one-handed. As I considered my next tactic, I blew her out from behind the tree again and fired, not really expecting to hit, instead just wanting to keep her stressed and off-balance.


    It only took a moment to come up with a solution. I could prop the barrel of the gun up on something, like an impromptu bipod. Maybe I could kneel behind one of the rock benches. It wouldn¡¯t be as accurate as using both hands, but it would be better than trying to lift it one-handed. I started to look around for something to prop the end of the gun up on.


    Where was my sword?


    I stopped firing and tensed. Where the hell did it go? Did she have some ally I had missed? I looked around.


    Oh. Right.


    Gavin.


    He¡¯d taken the sword and was brandishing it at me. He was afraid. I could tell. My heart sank. I was a monster to him. I wanted to call out to him, to tell him that it was okay, and that he was fighting on the wrong side. But I didn¡¯t. I was afraid to. Right now, he could still be my boyfriend, as long as I didn¡¯t tell him about the wardens. Would that be worth it? It might be. I didn¡¯t want to burn that bridge now. Gavin swung the sword at the stun rifle, and it nicked it right below one of the indicator lights.


    I swung the rifle back behind me and walked towards Gavin slowly, trying to be non-threatening. I tried to figure out some way to nonverbally convince him to hand me back the sword, preferably without scaring him. No ideas came.


    Luckily, they didn¡¯t have to. Gavin swung at my neck, but I could tell immediately that the sword¡¯s angle didn¡¯t line up with his swing, so the sword wouldn''t bite, and I let it strike the coif. I grabbed the blade, and his eyes widened. I hoped that he¡¯d let go, but he didn¡¯t, so I tugged on it so he¡¯d get the hint. He wasn¡¯t expecting it and fell over into the snow. So brave, and yet so helpless.


    I felt the gun being lifted from my back, and grabbed for the strap. It slipped through my fingers. The Emissary had cut the strap holstering the rifle. I turned to grab it, but it was too late. The Emissary threw it in a snowbank. I wouldn¡¯t be able to get to it without digging for it, and I couldn¡¯t do that without nullifying the Emissary''s power first. Gavin had no idea that now I had to swing a sword at his friend instead of stunning her directly. I flipped the sword so I was holding the handle instead of the blade and leapt towards the Emissary, swinging.


    ¡°Gavin?¡± she said, dodging a sword swing. Blood dripped freely from her nose. ¡°I need some help here.¡±


    ¡°What do I do?¡± Gavin said from behind me.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying I need your help,¡± the Emissary said, futilely trying again to penetrate my coat with her claws.


    ¡°Dad dropped us off at the side entrance,¡± Gavin said. ¡°You¡¯ve never seen the front of the school, have you?¡±


    The front? What¡¯s in the front that could help her? The parking lot? The flagpole? The Moose statue?


    Crap, Emissaries had narrative-based object-animation spells, didn¡¯t they?


    If she reached the statue of Morris, she¡¯d have an ally a hell of a lot more competent than Gavin. But it would also draw her towards me. If I could get between her and the statue, I could stand a good shot at nicking her with the blade as she passed by. I lept towards the front of the school, trying to keep low to the ground so I wouldn¡¯t be spotted.


    But the Emissary was fast. My form of travel didn¡¯t burn as much energy, but I couldn¡¯t sprint. I was locked into the speed the boots gave me. The Emissary ran like her life depended on it, and easily passed me. I hoped for a moment that she might not recognize the significance of the Morris statue, but she made a beeline for it.


    She mounted the moose moments before I arrived, wrapped her arms around its neck, and squeezed her eyes shut. I swung my sword at her-


    -and the moose parried it by lifting his huge, antlered head. My sword clattered out of the way. Morris began moving forward, and I dove out of his path. That statue was life sized and made of bronze. It would have an unstoppable amount of momentum, throw me around like a twig, and be nearly invulnerable.


    This was not good.


    Morris wheeled around and started pawing at the concrete, as though about to charge.


    ¡°Morris says this is a gun-free school zone, and so you¡¯re in a lot of trouble,¡± The Emissary said, wiping more blood from her nose. ¡°He¡¯s here to protect his student body.¡±


    Morris charged, and I was only barely able to get out of the way. I flailed with my sword as it passed, but as expected, it did little more than leave a long, thin scratch across his side. Morris turned back around, readying another charge.


    This had suddenly gone significantly past my ability to handle.


    But Morris couldn¡¯t be her guardian forever. I¡¯d just have to bag her later.


    I jumped away, off to grab the gun. I looked over my shoulder, but Morris wasn¡¯t following.


    I reached the snowbank, dug around in it until I found the rifle. I smelled a faint acrid stench, and turned the gun over to check the power cell. Sure enough, it was completely depleted. So far as I could tell, the cell had gotten kocked slightly loose when it was thrown, and some snow got in and shorted it out. Luckily they were pretty easy to recharge.


    I hopped up onto the roof of the school to watch the Emissary. She rode Morris back to the pedestal he resided on, hopped down, and spent some time talking with Gavin. I wished I could hear what she was saying. I¡¯d have to find some way to keep her from getting into Gavin¡¯s head. If she set her sights on him, I needed to find a way to stake my claim until I could find a way to take the Emissary out of the picture. Gavin seemed like a chivalrous guy, but even the greatest guy would find his limit eventually if there was a girl like that slowly eroding his resistance with constant sexual pressure and teasing.


    Lilah ran back to the woods and grabbed their bags. I wished the stun rifle''s cell hadn''t shorted out; this would have bene the perfect time to peg her from the roof. I watched as she handed Gavin his pack, and then they went to catch the bus.


    I moved to the other side of the school roof to watch which bus they got on, and with alarm, I noticed they¡¯d both climbed on Gavin¡¯s bus. Did they live near each other?


    And then I remembered Amber¡¯s words. ¡°She¡¯s staying with a friend, but I didn¡¯t catch his name.¡± His name. And the Emissary had met Gavin¡¯s parents, and put herself under oath not to kiss him while in the house.


    She was staying with Gavin.


    ...and something had happened that got Gavin into so much trouble he¡¯d been grounded for weeks. Something with the Emissary?


    Something sexual? And that¡¯s why she¡¯d had to make the oath?


    My heart felt like it¡¯d been ripped from my chest. I¡¯d had a boyfriend for less than a day, and then found out he¡¯d been living with a sex-crazed catgirl since before we¡¯d even gone on our first date.


    Part of me felt like I should go after them. Maybe look up where Gavin lived and wait for them at his house. Ambush her when they arrived. Hit her with the severance sword harder than necessary. More times than necessary.


    That part was mistaken, of course. If I went into this angry, I could make mistakes. I needed to stay calm. I needed to wait until I was out of the heat of the moment and could think clearly again. The Emissary could wait.


    I¡¯d just go home and cry, instead.


    I stepped towards the first waypoint on the way home, and flew through the air. As the ground receded beneath me, I sheathed my sword, re-tied the leather strap to keep the gun on my back, and pulled out my phone. I opened my messenger and started to text Cassie.


    ¡°Cass? I think Gavin¡¯s cheating on me.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± She texted back. ¡°Oh no! That¡¯s horrible! What makes you think that?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t say, of course. ¡°Just a hunch. There¡¯s something he¡¯s not being honest about,¡± I replied. ¡°Just promise you¡¯ll keep your ear to the ground, okay?¡±


    ¡°Of course! If there¡¯s something, Michael will know. I¡¯ll ask him. Love!¡±


    I sighed and put my phone away, then started scanning the forest below for deer.

 Postscript: Plans for the Future

    On the schedule, it says that the book should be releasing today. Sadly, the new cover artist I hired thought that the due date for the cover was today, not that the book was planned to be released today. When I realized this, I pushed the due date back so we could release either next Saturday or the one after.


    Besides the art, progress on the print and epub versions are going well. I''ve finished going through it with a professional editor. (Turns out that commas are hard, and near the end I seem to always lose track of how many usable arms people have.) I like the new cover artists way better than the previous one. I''ve set the most current WIP from the artist as the cover for this book. (It''s not final, but I''m already liking it more.) Typesetting is done. Here''s a screengrab of the layout program I''m using. I had no idea how important typesetting was. It''s gone from a google doc to something that looks like a real book! I can''t wait to see it printed!


    So what are the future plans? I''ve got four projects in the pipeline right now:


    A Follow-On Trilogy: Details<input class="spoilerButton" type="button" value="Show">


    I''m about 50k words through a trilogy that takes place in the same setting as CitP (Wardens, Emissaries, rune circle magic, etc.) The first book takes places before the events of CitP, the second co-occurs, and the third is set in the aftermath. It''s from the PoV of a different group of characters, but characters from this book appear occasionally. (Not just as cameos, either. They participate in the plot.) It was going smoothly for a while, but was starting to fall apart in the middle, because middles are hard. Shelved for now, but I''m still excited about where it was going.


    Reverse-LitRPG: Details<input class="spoilerButton" type="button" value="Show">


    I took a class from Brandon Sanderson about seven years ago. We had to write the first 50k words of a novel over the course of a semester. I wrote a RPG-Lit from the PoV of an NPC. He discovers that the super-powered god-like individuals in his world are actually gamers. Eventually he ends up breaking out of the game and interacting with people in the "Land of the Gods." Brandon Sanderson complemented my writing style on camera. It was an amazing experience.


    I met Brandon Sanderson at a convention four months ago, and I told him I''d been in his class and proudly told him that I was self-publishing my first book. He gave me a high five and asked which story I''d written for his class. I started describing it to him, and he said "Oh yeah! That one! That had potential. Is that the one you''re publishing?" I hedged and said that no, it was a "little paranormal romance thing," and he said "Too bad. The other one had a really interesting premise. You ought to go back and finish that one up and shop it around."


    Inwardly, I freaked out. Outwordly, I politely thanked him for the compliment and the advice and told him I''d look into it.


    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    So, uh.... yeah. That''s my current project. When Brandon Sanderson remembers your book and recommends you "shop it around", that book kinda takes priority. My hope would be to traditionally publish it, but we''ll see if that ends up working. The market might be supersaturated with game-lit right now.


    A VRMMO Fiction: Details<input class="spoilerButton" type="button" value="Show">


    Two years ago, under another pen name, I''d put up nearly 140k of words of a VRMMO fic. It had much more success ratings-wise than this fic did, and got to the top 50 of active only top fictions. Thing is, it had some serious structural problems and needed a full re-write to add another PoV character. Also, because I was publishing one chapter at a time without knowing the ending, the plot kinda meandered around. Unlike CitP, which is a disposable part of my "million words of crap" that I''m publishing to get practice with the process of self-publishing, I feel like the VRMMO fic had a lot of potential.


    Thing is, it turns out most publishers won''t look at a book if it''s been published anywhere else first, and because I put the first draft up on Royal Road, it''s "tainted" and no publisher will look at it. This is too bad, because I think it''s the best thing I''ve ever written, even in its incomplete state.


    It''s still possible to salvage it and get it published traditionally. If a publisher picks up my reverse LitRPG and it does okay, they might come back and ask "Have you got anything else?" If so, I can mention this VRMMO fic and because they already know me as an author, the normal rules wouldn''t apply, and they would be able to publish it anyway. Because of that, even though this is the fic I''m most excited about, it''s lowest on my priority list. I need to see whether or not the Reverse LitRPG goes anywhere. If so, I can "Rescue" this one; otherwise, I''ll have to self-publish it.


    A Dungeoncore Fiction: Details<input class="spoilerButton" type="button" value="Show">


    I read Rogues'' Dungeon and felt like it wasn''t doing the concept justice. I started my own near-future dungeon core story, and it was a blast. The most fun thing I''d written since the vending machine chapter. No idea where that fic''s going, but I''m keeping it in the back of my mind just in case.


    Long story short: I want to keep writing. Putting CitP online has been a fantastic and exciting experience for me, and I want it to continue.


    I hope to see some of you there. If you''re interested in being informed of what I do next, keep this fic on your follows/favorites. I''ll post an announcement here when my next thing comes out, whichever it ends up being.


    As I mentioned earlier, the print version will be delayed for a week or two, so I''m going to keep the entire book up for now. After the print and epub versions are available, I''m taking down everything here except the bonus chapters.


    The offer for a free copy of the book is still valid. As long as you get a review written and posted here before the book comes out, you''re elligible for the drawing for a free print copy. Also, I''m still willing to write bonus chapters, if we reach those goals somehow.


    Thanks for reading!

 Thanks for the run, guys!

    Hi guys! I''s been, like, two months past when I said it would be, but the book is finally released!


    What was the holdup? Well, as I said, I got the book professionally edited, and after it was done, I printed out a proof copy. When it arrived, it looked fantastic, and that evening, in celebration, my wife and I read the first few chapters out loud to each other that evening before bed.


    And we were... disappointed.


    The editor missed so many things, and in some cases even introduced errors (especially regarding commas inserted into compound predicates before the coordinating conjunction). We ended up having to self edit, but we only had an hour or two a day to do it in, so it streched out over six weeks. It was kinda miserable.


    That being said, the book is finally done, and we put it up on Amazon! Nothing major changed, but I fixed a few continuity errors people spotted and, in some cases, made the character''s motivations a little more clear. Autumn''s got a couple of new magic items, for instance, there''s two new pages of dialogue hinting at why she didn''t just come clean to Gavin before the road trip, and some info regarding Lilah''s documentation and doctor''s appointments were tightened. CitP''s about as polished as it can get! You can buy the completed Catgirl in the Pantry Here</a>, or read it for free if you have kindle unlimited!This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    As I warned you all at the beginning, this book is now being removed from Royal Road. The exceptions are the first two chapters and the bonus chapters; these will remain as a teaser for the full book. I''ve done that raffle I promised, and the winner is Theodoor! As I said, chances for winning were based on the number of words in the review, and had Theo''s review been 22 words shorter it would have gone to somebody else, lol.


    I''m notifying him right now, and his free copy should be on the way as soon as I get an address from him!


    Thanks for everything, guys. It''s been a wild ride.


    Hope to see you on board for the next one. <3