《The Subspace Labyrinth》


 Chapter 1

    The Dinosaur-Unicorn-Mouse thing gazed my way with scathing eyes of flickering ember, then lazily shifted its attention back to guzzling down on more of my loot.


    It munched and devoured the medieval-looking armor as if it was nothing less than a thin-crusted New York pizza empowered by a scent of hunger one could only acquire when falling out of a fever-induced nightmare of post-apocalyptic famine.


    Or having mainly eaten rice cakes for two weeks, like me.


    The intermittent crunching and screeching of the meal grated on me. My frontal cortex throbbed with the promise of an oncoming headache. And yet, I was pleased. The Dumdum may have been busy eating my loot, but at least it didn¡¯t pay much attention to me.


    Relieved would without doubt be a better description of my state of mind, yet as a strong believer in celebrating small victories, I forced on a smile as slowly moved the point of my right foot behind me, and shifting my weight, took a step away from the Dumdum. Oblivious to my painfully slow retreat it started cleaning its maw with its tongues. Tongues coming out of its neck.


    You¡¯d think a monster of the labyrinth would prefer human meat. It does. Unfortunately, while Dumdums were discerning in sustenance intake, eating only loot, they were alarmingly unselective in their choices for procreation partners.


    And this Dumdum certainly doesn¡¯t seem like a gentle lover.


    With another step back, and then another, I removed myself from its field of vision, turned around, and rushed behind the jagged rock shadowing the cavern¡¯s exit.


    I had no doubt the Dumdum could change its mind and come for me at any moment, but on some instinctual level, I chose to disavow object permanency. If I couldn¡¯t see it, it most certainly couldn¡¯t see me.


    Yep. It can¡¯t see me. I¡¯m safe. Right.


    Denial as a coping mechanism has grown to be my faith while in the Labyrinth, although when it came to its practice, my capabilities left much to be desired. My faith went beyond dumb luck, though. I didn¡¯t name these creatures Dumdums just because of the initials for Dinosaur-Unicorn-Mouse.. Dumdums had a reliably single-minded streak to their nature, and I doubted this one would care about me at all as long as it got the loot.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    For a long time, I just sat there, my back against the rock, my legs gathered to me. I looked down, hugging my knees. Apparently, I¡¯ve been rocking back and forth. These last couple of weeks threw me out of balance. I believed I¡¯ve grown to know myself as a person and found my own internal balance. I suppose falling into the Labyrinth wasn¡¯t something my mental health has been ready for.


    Being all alone, disconnected from my support network, and living under constant stress. I felt like I should have been able to handle this situation, and found myself unhappy with breaking down. Then, I chided myself. ¡®I am stronger than this¡¯ is a great motto, but from my experience with myself, dismissing my own feelings could lead down the rabbit hole of self-pity.


    Time enough for self-analysis later, though.


    The crunching sound stopped with a belch. If the past couple of weeks could be taken as an indication, having had its fill, the Dumdum would now fall asleep and I could sneak back to basecamp.


    I rocked forward onto my legs, using momentum to push me up a bit. Catching the rock behind me with my back, I took in a deep breath.


    Dammit. I really wanted a weapon right now.


    All weapons I had access to came from loot, and carrying loot would have drawn the Dumdums to me. I¡¯ve been doing my morning gathering, pulling on the living tomato-like plants that filled the cavern. It wasn¡¯t fun, but it was necessary. They¡¯d sting like poison ivy and cut me like thorns on a rose. More importantly, they¡¯d drop loot. I had no other name for the materialization of daggers and coins out of thin air once a tomato was picked.


    More importantly, once every few dozen tomatoes, something much more vital dropped. Bread, fruit, and even once a bowl of soup. It tasted like chicken.


    Whatever controlled the loot must have rolled the dice and hit the statistical equivalent of winning the lottery for a full armor to drop. No wonder the Dumdum came into the cavern.


    I peered around the rock, the Dumdum napped near what remained of the armor set, its legs spread in the air, its horn pushing its head from the floor at an unnatural angle. I stared at its tusks as they quivered, and then a leg kicked at the air.


    I grew up with dogs. The Dumdum must have been dreaming about something at least as appealing as the armor.


    On the other side of the cavern, basecamp beaconed. I should have been smarter about this and sneaked back there quietly. I ran.

 Chapter 2

    It was as if the ground itself resisted me, with the weird tomato plants appearing under my feet the moment they tried to find purchase. I never ran over the tomato-patch before, and it felt like what I saw in the movies, where soldiers at basic training ran over tires, if the tires also shifted positions to trip them up.


    I kept running, then half jumping between steps by the time I was halfway to basecamp. Then, after avoiding a couple more plants, just as my left foot was about to land I heard a pop from beneath me. I looked down, and next thing I knew I couldn¡¯t find purchase for my feet. It felt as if the ground caught my foot mid-way to the ground and threw me off into the sky, like that one time I found a spider walking on my leg and did nothing but try to kick it away for a solid minute.


    I landed on my back, my head bouncing back up and hitting the ground again. A loud gasp burst from my lungs, then a moan.


    I opened my eyes and stared at the sky, or at least the cavern¡¯s ceiling. I must have gone under when I landed. Pain pulsed at the back of my head. Slowly, as if swimming through muck, I reached and touched the source of the pain.


    My hand came back into view, bloody.


    I lay there staring at my hand for a while, comfortable in staying still. Avoiding pain the only thing that mattered in the world.


    The Dumdum!


    I didn¡¯t know how long I lay there, but I knew I had to get up. Now, before the Dumdum did.


    Stumbling to my feet, I felt woozy and dropped down to all fours. Far from being a doctor, I knew I must have had a concussion.


    Must keep moving.


    I climbed back on my feet and trudged forward, putting all my effort into not falling.


    Staring at the ground, the tomatoes stayed in place.


    Move slow you must, if fast to move you want, I mimicked something resembling Yoda speak. The plants didn¡¯t seem to care I was there as long as I walked slowly.


    Focused on the ground, throwing one leg in front of the other, I soon came to a complete stop. I pulled my left leg forward, and let it fall back down. Standing before me, close enough for its horn to almost touch my nose, was the Dumdum.


    I raised my eyes up over its thick legs, over its green-scaled torso, then its mouse-like tusks, and zeroed in on its eyes.


    Staring at the Dumdum¡¯s eyes I saw nothing I could focus on. When looking at another person, or even another mammal, I could always tell something about them. I always knew when to leave my dog alone, or when it wanted my attention. Looking at the Dumdum I might as well have been trying to read a fish.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    The movement of its tusks, constantly contracting and expanding, stood in direct contrast with the rest of it. Frozen, it stared at my eyes like a stone gargoyle, uncaring. A stone gargoyle with fish eyes.


    My mind made of goo once more, I could think of no strategies, tactics, or even clear my head enough to panic. My body, however, knew what to do.


    I found myself pointing my left foot back, and carefully transferring weight to it. Step by step, staring into those empty eye bowls, I walked back.


    Ten paces later, the lightbulb hit.


    Loot!


    I needed to get the Dumdum some loot. My brain finally decided to kick into action, informing me of how much of a lost cause a coin would be. The Dumdum would just swallow it up.


    I kept my eyes on the Dumdum¡¯s and sank to my knees. I read somewhere that in dominance games between animals, staying tall mattered.


    Nothing I could do about that now.


    I waved my right hand over the ground in front of me, looking for a plant.


    ¡°Oww!¡±


    Man, these things sting! But I have it now!


    I traced the stem of the plant until I felt the tomato and cupped it in my hand. I knew pulling it away would be a frustrating endeavor without providing a counter, with my other hand holding the stem. I gulped.


    Ever so carefully, I sent my left hand to take hold of the tomato, and my right to hold the stem. Keeping my eyes glued to the Dumdum¡¯s, I pulled.


    A dagger materialized just above the ground and fell with a soft thump.


    The Dumdum shifted its eyes to the loot, but stayed frozen, except to then shift, looking back at me. Its tusks convulsed even faster.


    I picked up the dagger and connected my hands into one fist. I shifted to my back foot in my best baseball impersonation and threw the dagger and tomato at the Dumdum. I missed by a couple of feet. I heard a pop. The Dumdum didn¡¯t seem to mind, though, as it jumped for the dagger.


    My eyes skipped to the dagger, and the tomato next to it. Both swallowed up, and a mere moment later a muffled explosion came from the Dumdum.


    I started to run only to immediately fall to the ground, my heel tangled with a tomato plant.


    ¡°Stupid! Stupid!¡±


    I picked myself up and at a crawl, continued toward the Dumdum, harvesting tomatoes and ignoring the coins falling to the ground. It seemed like the Labyrinth decided this was high time to troll me, as every for every couple of tomatoes rare loot fell to the ground. Firewood, a ring, a necklace, a sack, anything but the somewhat common dagger. I really wanted a dagger.


    And then it happened. Without thought, armed with the dagger, I jumped at the Dumdum.


    It lay on the ground, its mouth desiccated, open, and toothless. Its horn at its side, broken off from its forehead. Still alive, its chest expanded and collapsed as it tried to breathe. At least it no longer stared at me.


    I hit it on the chest, point first, and the dagger bounced back. I wish I could say my stabs were strategic, but all I did was stab at random until finally, the dagger hit true, and penetrated to the hilt in the Dumdum¡¯s stomach.


    I scrambled back, sitting on the ground with my hands behind me, panting. I waited, and eventually, forever later, the Dumdum expired.


    For slaying a Tuskosaurus (Lvl. 4) you have gained 120 experience points.


    Congratulations! You have gained a level and are now level 2. You have gained three unallocated stat points.


    Congratulations! You have learned the Skill Stab. Your skill has advanced to level 3.

 Chapter 3

    Living in the Labyrinth for a whole of two weeks now, I had a firm idea of what to expect. Surprises. Some days they were of the milder kind. The Dumdums with their yucky neck tongues, looking to make an intimate connection. On others, yet another eldritch nightmare. Hopefully tongue-less.


    Who am I kidding? Knowing my luck, made entirely of tongues.


    On days when the heartbeat of the Labyrinth pulsed softly, its thrum barely audible, the walls assumed a deep purple hue. In my tent, rolling to my back, my senses tingled, and I got antsy. I called this the Purple Allergy.


    The Labyrinth had a sense of humor and a twisted one at that. When it kicked back and relaxed, in the quiet, Murphy¡¯s law came out to play. In other words, the Labyrinth wouldn¡¯t have been satisfied to just send a Dumdum my way and I better get moving.


    Sleeping on a bed of tomato-plant stems, with the thorns peeled off, was an acquired taste. The secret to a calm sleep lied in the direction of the stems, their consistency, and how tightly I packed them together.


    Truly, if I had one gift in this damned place, sleep was it. I¡¯d been as scared as I¡¯d ever been for weeks now, but once asleep my mind thankfully turned to mush. I had no nightmares, except for the occasional classics, like running late to class. Mrs. Hanshall''s class.


    Highschool left its mark on it, okay?


    Best of all, there existed the incomparable comfort in the moment you realize you¡¯ve woken up.


    Lost in a world of comfort, I cuddled in on myself, vaguely aware of the concept of an outside world. As a kid, in those moments of transition, I used to imitate my dog, Pepper. As the brown mutt fell asleep, she continually opened and closed her mouth in a gesture I could only interpret as content, as if she tasted sleep in the same fashion as one sampled cuisine of the highest order. Like pizza.


    Man, I missed pizza.


    In that divine moment of in-between, as I tasted on nothing, I calmed down immediately once again, lost to sleep. The outside world would wait. Go, Pepper! Go dog life.


    Against my better judgment, I found my eyes popped open. The thrum quieted down even further.


    Damn it.


    Reality prepared to crash down on me, and I decided to meet it head-on. With explosives.


    Twenty minutes later I¡¯ve already harvested thirty-six tomatoes, throwing them into the loot sack I got earlier. I collected them as far away from the tunnel as possible, close to basecamp. Anything to avoid drawing in an unwanted surprise. With a Purple Day, I took no chances. Almost.


    I hoped taking the sack with me would turn out a safe choice. The Dumdums didn¡¯t seem to show as much interest in older loot.


    Yeah, like that would work on a Purple Day.


    I also had on my new weapon, a mace I got as loot from killing the Dumdum the other day, but there was no way I walked into this unarmed.


    Soon I collected thirty tomatoes and set out toward the exit tunnel.


    A hundred feet from the tunnel, I put down the sack with a sigh, wanting to avoid the risk of a Dumdum picking up on the sack loot. I picked up five tomatoes, cradling them in my arms, and took a step toward the tunnel, then thought better of it. Dropping them would have turned out bad, to say the least.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I picked it back up and carefully walked the rest of the way.


    The tomatoes patch ended about thirty feet out. Holding the sack to my chest to risk no tomato cracking, I ran in the tunnel. It was time to create a minefield.


    Quickly, but with care, I covered the tunnel entrance about three feet in with the tomatoes. It was a 15 feet wide entrance. I laid them out in a line across, then thought better of it and staggered them to create a wider blast zone, six tomatoes every two and a half, with every second tomato two feet into the tunnel.


    On a Purple Day, with or without the sack, I knew the promised surprise wouldn¡¯t leave me waiting long. I hid behind the rock covering a third of the exit.


    Within minutes, I heart Dumdum snorts from the tunnel. Four bright Dumdums horns headed my way out of the darkness.


    Four Dumdums! I should have gotten more tomatoes. Shit.


    I picked up two tomatoes and waited. Soon, the Dumdums approached my staggered line of tomato mines. I had to throw now, or at the rate they were going the explosion would have happened after they passed.


    I got up and threw one tomato to the right, then quickly another one to the left. I hit the mined line only with the second tomato. Nothing happened.


    Fuck Murphy, his law, and life.


    Out of the darkness I made out the shapes of two of the Dumdums.


    ¡°Fuck. Fuck.¡± I said, then added, ¡°Fuck.¡± I looked down to the tomatoes I wanted to use as triggers. I had only four left. ¡°Fuck.¡±


    I picked up two more tomatoes and threw them in the tunnel without aiming, glad I decided to keep the mined line only three feet in. Pops quickly followed as I knelt to pick up my last two and threw them hard over the rock without looking, crunching down. I heard one pop when the explosion happened. A few seconds later a much larger explosion followed.


    I had no idea if the explosion killed the Dumdums, but it hopefully at least incapacitated them. I¡¯d have run away if that was a possibility through the tomatoes patch.


    Noted. Create an armored position to pull back to!


    I got up, pulled the mace from my belt, and ran to the tunnel. I barely got past the rock when I heard another huge explosion. I jumped to the ground, covering my head with my hands.


    A forceful wind pushed at me, and small stones rained down. I waited a few more seconds then retreated with a hurry, turning around on all fours and getting as fast as I could behind the rock.


    I collapsed to the ground. My body dripped sweat. It wasn¡¯t so much the exertion as it was me forgetting to breathe. Martial arts 101.


    Stop. Think. That explosion hit you like a flashbang and you¡¯re in shock. Slow down.


    I got up and crouched behind the rock, mace held in both hands. If any Dumdum survived, I planned to jump it. If two came at once I would have been done for. At this juncture, I felt I had to take the risk.


    A few minutes later, or what I figured for a few minutes, no Dumdum came through. I looked behind the rock, exposing one eye to the tunnel. Nothing.


    Still crouching, I ran to the edge of the tunnel and hugged the wall. Slowly, I peeked around the corner. My lips drew up into a grin, and I felt a mean streak coming over me.


    I crouched down even lower and paced into the tunnel. Three Dumdums lay on the ground, one right at the entrance, and two a few feet into the tunnel, lying close together. All of them still breathing.


    I¡¯d chide myself for this later, but I ran in screaming and hit the first Dumdum, my mace landing the hit from above my head with a large arch. It must have taken ten minutes, crunches coming from the Dumdum¡¯s body with every hit, but eventually, a notification popped up.


    For slaying a Tuskosaurus (Lvl. 4) you have gained 360 experience points.


    Weird. Whatever these game-like notifications meant, I must have gotten more experience because it was my own actions that caused the death, as opposed to an assist on killing a monster like my stabbing the Dumdum when it was close to death already.


    For slaying a Tuskosaurus (Lvl. 4) you have gained 360 experience points.


    For slaying a Tuskosaurus (Lvl. 6) you have gained 360 experience points.


    Congratulations! You have gained a level and are now level 3. You have gained six unallocated stat points.


    Congratulations! You have learned the Skill Blunt Weapons. Blunt Weapons has advanced to level 3.


    ¡°Boom! Take that!¡±


    I really need to figure out where I can access my status screen, to see about these unallocated points.


    I collected my loot and headed out when something hit my head.


    ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!¡±


    Is the tunnel collapsing?


    ¡°Fuck. I should have known Murphy wouldn¡¯t let me off that easy.¡±

 Chapter 4

    Running out of a collapsing tunnel can have a weird impact on your psyche. For some reason I skipped more than ran, jumping up and down as if I walked on hot coals, my hands held above my head as if in surrender.


    Once again, I crouched behind my trusty defender, the rock standing just before the tunnel, feeling at a bump above my left ear. I pushed my head around the rock to examine the damage to the tunnel as plans of digging myself out of the cavern rushed through my head, holding back the panic.


    It held. Debris littered the ground, but that seemed like the extent of the damage.


    I walked up to the entrance and kicked at the wall like I would have a tire. Other than hurting my foot, I didn¡¯t learn much.


    A tunnel structural integrity expert, I am not. I once again channeled Yoda.


    Walking in, two craters about a foot deep decorated the tunnel surface, a few feet apart. These must have resulted from of the first explosions that triggered the rest of the mayhem. Surprisingly, the rest of the tunnel floor remained relatively unscathed.


    The tunnel walls told a different story, with nine holes on the right of the tunnel, and seven on the left. The trigger explosion must have pushed the tomato mines to the tunnel walls, and when they exploded, funneled the destructive force toward the middle of the tunnel and the Dumdums, creating a kill zone.


    Congratulations! You have learned the Skill Basic Insight. Basic Insight has advanced to level 2.


    Basic Insight (U): Basic insight is similar to Analyze, only it provides with understanding into the nature of what¡¯s being observed, instead of information. Can also be used as a limited version of Basic Analyze if no insight can be gained. Basic Insight has advanced to level 2.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    Congratulations! You have learned the Skill Battle Engineer. Battle Engineer has advanced to level 2.


    Battle Engineer (C): The basic skill set of a battle engineer, including the construction and dismantling of mines, erecting bridges, constructing battlements, and setting up camp.


    ¡°Now that¡¯s what I¡¯m talking about.¡±


    This whole game mechanics thing weirded me out, but I took it in stride. I mean, what else could I have done?


    I left the tunnel and went back to my rock.


    I name thee Castle Dumdum.


    However these notifications worked, it was obvious the system they obeyed had power over me. I determined to not think too closely on the topic, and concentrated instead on how to use it to my advantage.


    ¡°Status,¡± I said aloud, at once gratified by the results.


    Name: Kris Weatherford.


    Level: 3.


    Race: Human (Earth).


    Class: N/A.


    Health: 16/18 (regen, 1 per 10 min.)


    Mana: 0.


    Free stat points: 9.


    Strength: 5.


    Dexterity: 3.


    Constitution: 9.


    Vitality: 9.


    Intelligence: 7.


    Wisdom: 6.


    Willpower: 8.


    Focus: 3.


    Luck: 9.


    Charisma: 6.


    Skills:


    Dagger (3), Blunt Weapons (3), Battle Forensics (C, 2), Battle Engineer (C, 2)


    Judgmental much?


    It seems like the mechanism recognized me as a smart cookie, but it also knew I suffered from attention deficit disorder. Such low Focus compared to the rest of my mental stats left me uncomfortable. This Labyrinth kept informed.


    A Constitution and Vitality of 9. All that running didn¡¯t go to waste. Like in in most game systems, I had no idea what Luck did, but was sure it would serve the system¡¯s needs more than mine.


    I figured ¡®C¡¯ after my Battle Engineer Skill must stand for ¡®Common¡¯, and ¡®U¡¯ following Basic Insight for ¡®Uncommon¡¯. I didn¡¯t understand why my first two skills, Dagger and Blunt Weapons had no letter signifying rarity next to them.


    More Dumdums could have been on the way, but I decided on a strategic retreat. Surviving another explosive encounter with a Dumdum challenged my suspended disbelief in my chances of survival, especially knowing I only had eighteen health, and sixteen right now. I wanted to go back to the relative safety of basecamp, rest, and now that I had the Basic Insight Skill, to finally satisfy my curiosity about all the new loot I¡¯ve gained.