《My Life is Not a Manga, or maybe...》


 Harem Scarem: 001

    Harem Scarem: 001


    I''m a pretty normal guy. Well, okay, let me qualify that: I''m a total weirdo, but in a pretty normal way. Does that even make sense?


    I need to start over. My life is fairly average. I''m not incredibly attractive, but I''m also not bad-looking. I''ve got a decent number of friends, but I''m neither popular nor infamous. Just one of those guys skating through high school whose face you won''t remember in 5 years, I guess. Which is fine by me, since I don''t really care one way or the other for most of my fellow students.


    Anyway, what I''m trying to get at is that if I were in a manga, I wouldn''t be the protagonist. I''d be one of those characters in the background whose name you never learn and who usually never graduates beyond a vague silhouette. And I like it that way.


    I mean seriously, thanks to my dad I''ve read a fair amount of manga and being a manga protagonist sucks. Their relationships are all fraught with absurdly manufactured drama, they''re constantly getting beat up or kidnapped or nearly killed, and even when they''re surrounded by beautiful women who all want to get into their pants they spend their time getting constantly blue-balled. Also, being sexually attracted to your siblings or first cousins is just wrong, so let''s not even go there.


    I''m quite happy with my humdrum life, thank you very much. Heck, I even have a girlfriend. And since she''s not the most beautiful or most popular girl in school, doesn''t have a semi-abusive relationship with me, has normal length hair that isn''t styled into twin-tails, and isn''t an old childhood friend our relationship would basically be doomed if I were in a manga.


    So thank goodness my life is not a manga.


    At least that''s what I always thought, until during a get-together with my friends over summer vacation after my freshman year I tripped over my own feet and broke through the fourth wall.


    <hr>


    Okay, okay, I guess I should back up a little. I mean, the vast majority of people don''t even know what manga is, and I''m guessing I lost a few more at "twin-tails" and "sexual attraction to siblings." So here''s the thing: here in the good old U.S. of A. we have comic books, right? Super heroes bashing one another''s faces in, generally on a monthly basis, in full color on flimsy paper. Everyone knows about comic books.


    In Japan, though, comic books aren''t really a thing. Instead they have manga. Manga is similar to comics, in that it contains panels and speech bubbles and is hand drawn, but it''s also completely unlike comics in that it''s often released on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule in magazines alongside a whole bunch of other manga and is usually black and white. Then once a particular manga series has enough content, it''s gathered together into a book called a tankoubon and sold as a series of paperback books.


    The thing about manga, though, is that there are a ton of genres available, targeting a ton of different demographics. Sure, if you''re a nerd and know where to look you can find a bunch of different genres in comic books, too, but manga is way bigger and more mainstream.


    And because it''s more mainstream and Japan is a capitalist country, a lot of manga is heavily informed by tropes. After all, if something sells, then it''s worth producing in bulk, right? There are entire genres for just about every escapist fantasy you might want, starting at feel good slice-of-life stories right up to pornography, and in every setting you can imagine. Sports manga, romance manga, smut manga, monster girl manga, pet manga, harem manga, super hero manga, food manga, horror manga, fantasy manga; the list goes on and on.


    My dad owns it all. Well, okay, it''s not like my dad owns all manga published ever, but if it was translated into English, then he either owns it or has probably read it. We''ve got a room in our house he calls the Lab with bookshelves lining the walls which are exclusively filled with manga. Of course, when I say "filled", I don''t just mean side to side; most shelves have a row of books behind the front-most books, as well, and sometimes have books stacked in a third or fourth row on top.


    The lower shelves have the stuff that''s appropriate for kids. Go a little further up, and you''ll find older characters, more violence, and more skimpily clad love interests. Get up near the ceiling, and the violence gets worse while the characters lose more of their clothes. If you dig around in the back row of the uppermost shelves, you''ll even unearth a fair bit of hentai (pornographic comics; I think the literal meaning is something like "perverse sexual desire").


    Thanks to the Lab, I''ve read a lot of manga across a broad spectrum of genres. Heck, it''s bad enough that when I see an American comic, I initially try to read it backward (like the Japanese language, manga is read from top to bottom and right to left). I can spot a manga trope from fifty paces, and really confused my middle school homeroom teacher when I asked her why we weren''t holding a cultural festival.


    Like I said, I''m a weirdo. Thanks, Dad.


    Fortunately for me, manga also taught me that people who are heavily into manga¡ªotaku in Japanese¡ªare social outcasts. So despite my weirdly broad knowledge of manga, I survived middle school and my first year of high school by never, ever mentioning it, and ensuring that the door to the Lab was closed whenever I invited a friend over. Not even my girlfriend knows my dirty little secret. Though, admittedly we''ve only been going out for about 4 months now, so there''s time.


    But only if my life is in the right genre.


    <hr>


    Right, sorry. Backing up again. So, the fourth wall. It''s a term that originated in theater: the actors on the set were surrounded by three walls you could see, and an invisible "fourth wall" between them and the audience. When a character directly acknowledges the audience, notices that they''re a fictional character, or similar it''s called breaking the fourth wall.


    I never expected that you could literally break the fourth wall, but then again my life isn''t fiction. Wasn''t fiction. I hate this.


    Anyway, here''s how it happened: it was summer vacation after our freshman year of high school, which in our district meant we were coming up on tenth grade. We''d been out of school for about three weeks, so enough time to start getting bored, but not enough to have started the yearly spate of family vacations or similar. I''d been hanging out with Emily¡ªmy girlfriend¡ªwhenever I could, which wasn''t as often as I''d like since neither of us could drive unaccompanied yet and she lived on the other side of town. As a result, I hadn''t seen my friends since school let out, so I was happy when my friend Seamus invited me to come hang out at Tracy''s, a dive of a diner located a few blocks away from our high school which was popular with kids my age due to its apathetic wait staff and cheap, intensely caloric side dishes.


    I got another couple miles-worth of driving practice on the way there, and then Mom took the car back home after admonishing me to call her if I wasn''t able to bum a ride from Hayden or Seamus'' folks.


    I wandered into Tracy''s, successfully avoided eye contact with a waiter who was simmering in a haze of ennui by the entrance, and located my friends laughing and talking over-loudly in a table at the back corner of the restaurant.


    Seamus looked up as I approached. "The X-man is here!" he all but yelled and shoved his way towards the back of the booth to make room for me. Evidently I was the last to arrive.


    I''ll just come out and say it: it''s times like this when I wonder why I still hang out with Seamus. We''ve known each other forever¡ªour mothers are very close friends, so we were stuck playing together on a regular basis practically since before we could walk¡ªbut we''ve always meshed in kind of a weird way. If we were lines in a geometry textbook, we''d definitely be perpendicular.


    Seamus is a pretty big dude. I think he''s somewhere around 6 feet or a little more, and reasonably hefty. Not linebacker hefty, but more like someone who regularly lifts weights and isn''t too fussed about low-calorie diets. Both of which are probably true, now I think of it. I''m pretty sure he took Strength and Conditioning as his physical elective last year, and he''s the one who suggested eating at Tracy''s.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    Yet despite his name and physique, he''s mostly of Korean descent and looks it. Dark, straight hair, east Asian features, the works. Which come to think of it might actually be why we''re still friends. There aren''t a whole lot of kids of recognizably Asian descent in our town, so at least in that regard Seamus and I are peas in a pod.


    The other folks around the table greeted me in far less annoying ways. Seated next to Seamus, Jesse gave me a nod while he scooted over. He and Seamus hang out a lot, and while I''d count him a mutual friend we aren''t terribly close. He''s a medium-sized white guy with dirty light brown hair, who''s pretty middle-of-the-pack material. Reasonably sporty¡ªwhich I think is why he gets along well with Seamus¡ªbut doesn''t stand out much. We had several classes together throughout middle school and last year and did a few projects together, but outside of class I pretty much only see him if I''m hanging out with Seamus.


    Next to Jesse was Katie, who''s a fellow band member with Seamus and hangs out with him a fair bit; some sort of brass player solidarity, maybe, because there''s certainly nothing romantic or even just plain sexual going on there. She didn''t bother to look up from the greasy menu she was perusing as I walked up, which didn''t surprise me. We''re casual acquaintances at best. Katie has mid-length brown hair and is skin and bones, but not in a sexy super model way. More like a "puberty is an asshole with a meaningless grudge against the world" sort of way.


    In addition to the three in the wrap-around booth, there were two people sitting in chairs. Next to Katie, my friend Hayden twisted around to face me, put on his serious face, and crossed his arms in an "X" over his chest. "What happens to a Seamus when it''s hit by lightning?" he asked me in a sonorous tone.


    "Same thing that happens to everyone else," I shot back, and slid into the booth next to Seamus. "Hey, Seamus."


    Hayden''s my best friend. We haven''t known one another all that long¡ªhe went to a different middle school, so I''d never seen him before until he showed up in my English class first semester of ninth grade¡ªbut after a few weeks of skating past one another both in and between classes, he invited me to the after school improv club and after that we started spending more and more time together. Hayden''s a slightly-overweight white guy with really light brown hair, is pretty close to my height, and is a complete drama geek. I don''t really get his obsession with acting, to be honest, but I do have an absolute blast at the improv club with him. Plus after we started talking regularly we discovered a shared love of older, campy movies. Thanks to dating Emily, I haven''t seen Hayden all that often this break, but during the school year we spent enough time together to be fast friends. When Seamus suggested this get-together, I immediately invited Hayden.


    The girl sitting in the chair next to Hayden¡ªand who was now sitting next to me¡ªwasn''t anyone I recognized. As the cracking plastic of the booth shifted and snapped beneath me, I turned my attention to her.


    "So this is my cousin Rachel," said Seamus. "Rachel, this is my friend Xavier."


    "Hi, Xavier," said Rachel, smiling. "I think we''ve actually met, but it was years ago when I came to stay with the Doyles over the summer."


    I have absolutely no recollection of that, and you''d really think I would.


    Rachel was memorable. She isn''t one of those girls who naturally inspire descriptors like "beautiful" or "gorgeous"; she doesn''t really stand out in any specific way. But any guy who didn''t take an immediate second look would need to have his eyes checked.


    Rachel''s hair is a very light, natural blonde, and she had a pair of tightly chorded braids that started at each temple, curled back around her head, and terminated with a short fall of hair in a sort of mid-height pony-tail. If she was wearing makeup, she''d applied it so skillfully that I couldn''t tell though I guessed she had to have done something, because no teenager I''ve ever met has skin that clear. Normally I don''t notice people''s eye color because prolonged eye contact makes me feel awkward, but Rachel''s eyes are a surprisingly vivid green.


    She was wearing some sort of a light sweater or something; I''m no clothes expert. In any case, it was tight enough to emphasize her very nice figure, but not so form-fitting that it was likely to draw unsolicited attention from sleazebags. Her posture was excellent and made a striking contrast with Katie''s slumped shoulders across the table. When she spoke she was calm and collected, but her smile was vibrant and expressive.


    If I had to pick a single descriptor for Rachel it would have to be "clean." Or maybe "put together." "Perfectly coifed?" I could imagine her quietly scoring perfect scores on tests even while serving as the calm cornerstone to a large circle of female friends.


    Basically, she''s nothing like Emily. Emily is quite a bit shorter than me, flat as a board, and I think her eyes are brown. Bad as it sounds, I''m honestly not sure on that last one, because Emily and I have never spent large amounts of time staring lovingly into one another''s eyes. There''s a reason for that, though: Emily is so full of life it''s frizzing straight out of her curly brown hair, and I''ve never been able to get her to sit still long enough.


    Take a normal teenager. Then take one of those little kids who is so full of wonder and energy they''re bouncing off the walls and investigating everything that moves (and a bunch of things that don''t). Mash them together, add a love of acting and the stage, turn the dial up to 11, and you''ve got Emily.


    No one would call her pretty or cute, she doesn''t have perfect skin, and I think I already mentioned she''s a washboard, but she doesn''t need any of that. Emily captivates me. If she were here, I wouldn''t give Rachel a second glance.


    Still, Emily wasn''t there, so I did give Rachel a second glance, appreciated what I saw, and moved on.


    We made small talk, Hayden made movie references that no one but me understood or appreciated, and between us all we consumed a larger variety of deep-fried appetizers than could possibly have been healthy. Just normal teenagers hanging out, really.


    And then Jesse spilled his water. The waitress had just slumped by to refill out glasses a few minutes before, so it was a pretty epic spill. Jesse had been reaching across the table to snatch a fry off my plate, and he accidentally bumped the glass right over. The ice water washed across the table in a miniature wave, Hayden scrambled to shove a napkin in front of it, and the redirected flow dripped straight into Rachel''s lap. She grabbed her own napkin and successfully dammed off the flow, but that put paid to both of our reasonably clean napkins.


    "Spill on aisle four!" Seamus called out, but the only thing he got for his trouble was the glares of a few of our fellow diners. Hayden was still trying to corral the water, Katie was fighting a losing battle alongside to keep it off her own lap, Jesse was apologizing profusely¡ªand uselessly¡ªand the water was still managing to drip slowly on Rachel''s clothes.


    "I shall fetch help, milady!" I declared gallantly¡ªwe''d been there long enough that both Hayden and I had hit the goofing off stage¡ªand I jumped out of the booth, whirled about to go locate some wait staff or at minimum hijack some napkins from a nearby empty table, tripped over my own feet, and sprawled forward face first to the amusement of absolutely everyone.


    I blame puberty. I''d been having a lot of uncomfortable nights of growing pains recently, and as a result was still not entirely certain where my feet were located.


    As I fell, I stumbled forward a couple steps, throwing out my arms to catch myself on the empty table adjacent, and with a tearing sensation the air in front me parted and all sound cut off as I stumbled onward into grayness.


    I couldn''t figure out what had happened at first. One second I was in a rowdy diner, and the next the only sound was my own panting breaths surrounded by¡ªwhat was it even? I could barely see past the end of my nose, and everything around me was strangely ill-defined. Was it mist? That was the closest analog I could think of, but where you can see variations in mist, here everything was a unified gray. "What the heck, guys, do you see this?" I said, turning.


    And there it was. The only thing here in the grayness besides myself was a giant page of black and white manga. There were all my friends: Seamus, head thrown back as he guffawed at my clumsiness; Jesse laughing despite himself; Katie and Hayden barely looking as they mopped at the water on the table; Rachel half out of her seat with a look of concern on her face. They were stylized, but recognizable. Scattered around them were katakana, the writing system Japanese use for sound effects. I recognized the katakana for "a ha ha" near Seamus, one of the few Japanese onomatopoeia that matches its English equivalent. Looking up and to the right I could see another panel, our conversation leading up to the spill rendered in static speech bubbles. The only splash of color was a rip in the paper directly in front of me through which light from the actual diner shone through.


    My gaze slashed across the page as I desperately tried to make sense of what I was seeing. I think I might have been hyperventilating a bit; it sure felt as though no matter how I sucked in air I couldn''t get any oxygen.


    Best I could tell, the entire latter part of our visit to Tracy''s was shown on these two pages, but with missing details. The main topics of conversation were the same, and some of the random little asides, but I remembered people saying things that weren''t shown. Wait, could I¡­


    I rushed to the edge of the panel and tried to turn the page, but it was completely immobile. Heck, there wasn''t even a page edge to grab hold of; it was more like a solid block that extended out into the uniform gray of my surroundings. It felt nothing like paper, either; more like a completely smooth rock.


    At this point I was seriously gasping for breath. Was there no oxygen here? Maybe I''d just been breathing whatever had come through with me. Shit, could I get back?


    Just before I stumbled back through the rip my eyes caught on an unassuming line of text at the very bottom of the page next to the page number "5":


    My life is not a manga, or maybe¡­

 Harem Scarem: 002

    Harem Scarem: 002


    Warmth, sound, and blessed oxygen embraced me, gray uniformity disappearing as if it had never been. Seamus was still laughing, Hayden and Katie still mopping up, and Rachel was out of her chair and had taken a couple steps toward me.


    "Are you alright, Xavier?" she asked. "That was a pretty big fall."


    No, no I was not alright at all. I grabbed her by the upper arms.


    She squeaked, "Eeep!", jerked under my hands, and immediately flushed in a way that was undoubtedly the cutest thing I''d ever seen her do, given that the entirety of our time together she had been demure and the picture of composure. However, I was in no state of mind to appreciate it.


    "You''re real," I told her fiercely.


    "Um, yes? Are you alright? What happened?"


    I wanted to know that myself. I let go of Rachel and whirled back around. Nothing looked out of place. I took two steps forward and swiped my arm through the air in front of me, fingers clawed. Nothing. Right, we were definitely in a new panel at this point. The fourth wall could be anywhere.


    "Xavier?" queried Rachel, voice wavering.


    Oh. Right. I must have looked like I was having some weird psychotic break after hitting my head or something. Wait, what did they even see? I was completely outside of my own reality, so shouldn''t I have disappeared?


    I whipped back around to face Rachel, who jumped backwards. Whoops, hadn''t realized she''d taken a concerned step toward me. That was awkward, though I couldn''t help noticing that she smelled really nice.


    No, Xavier, focus. "What just happened?" I demanded. "What did you see?"


    "You got up to get me something to wipe up with, and then you tripped," she said. Her eyes searched mine. "I didn''t see you hit the ground, but the next thing I knew you were grabbing me." She colored slightly again.


    Why did I notice that?


    Wait. Wait wait wait. I was hyped up on adrenaline, but my mind was finally kicking into gear. Taken at face value, what I had just experienced was evidence that I was literally in a manga. Hell, even the manga''s title explicitly told me as much, although it might have been some weird American manga knock-off, since normal Japanese manga don''t print the title at the bottom of the page the way American books commonly do.


    So. Let''s say I was a character in a manga, and suddenly a good-looking girl I''ve met for the first time that day is randomly getting physically close to me and blushing instead of having a sane reaction to my erratic behavior. Like, I don''t know, suggesting I visit a hospital, because clearly I must have suffered a head injury. And meanwhile I''m bemusedly noticing that, which is not like me at all. I mean, how many weeks was Emily trying to get my attention before she just asked me out point blank? I don''t know myself, because I''m just not very good at picking up on other people''s emotional contexts.


    This situation raised all sorts of flags with me, both red and otherwise, because it meant precisely one thing: Rachel was a love interest.


    I needed to get out of there, and fast. If I was a fictional character, that meant I had a lot less control over my own life than I thought. And even without knowing what genre I was in, love interests introduced in the first five pages before the protagonist''s girlfriend makes a single appearance are never a good thing. I needed to go home, barricade myself in my room, and think long and hard about what I''d just experienced. Also, having a more private place for a complete meltdown and freakout seemed like a good idea.


    I don''t even remember what excuses I made, but even before the wait staff had fully contained Jesse''s water disaster I was out the door and calling my mom. She picked me up six blocks away from the restaurant on the route home and asked no questions when I barely spoke to her all the way home and then immediately shut myself in my room when we got there.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    My mom is seriously the best.


    <hr>


    My room is pretty basic, mainly because it''s not very big. I''ve got a twin bed that I''ve slept in since I was little but would love to ditch now that I''m bigger, a set of shelves over a desk mounted to one wall that''s basically just a place toys and books have gone to die, and a comfy chair stuffed up against the wall between the closet and the bed.


    This is my thinking chair. I don''t sit in it all that often, because to be honest it''s not actually all that comfy¡ªI rescued the chair from being discarded back when I was in elementary school, so it''s older than me¡ªbut whenever I need time to think through something on my own I end up in my chair.


    This was definitely one of those times. Based on what I experienced at Tracy''s, I was evidently a fictional character which meant¡­what exactly? I sure as hell felt real, and I hadn''t experienced any time lapses, so far as I could tell. While I was a bit out of my head with shock on the ride home, I do remember my mom picking me up and driving me, which is the sort of mundane detail that a manga would gloss over.


    Was there any way that I could prove I was in a manga, and hadn''t suffered a psychotic break due to overindulging in fried goods? I couldn''t think of anything. It wasn''t like I had access to some sort of red pill; my little break from reality was a combination of extraordinary clumsiness on my part and poor planning on the part of the illustrator.


    Although come to think, that implied that I had some level of agency and free will, didn''t it? After all, what kind of idiot author would plan on a character literally exiting their reality and realizing they were fictional? Heck, the title of the book even included "or maybe" which presumably meant that I was supposed to have some doubt about whether I was a manga character or not, and given my experience I was pretty damned sure on that point. Ugh, I was starting to think I was the protagonist in some stupid rom-com with a bumbling male lead who stumbles into situations he really should know enough to avoid all while complaining how amazing it is that everything seems to be following manga tropes.


    Settle down, Xavier. What were the possibilities? One, my entire life is scripted and all I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. Aside from the visceral distaste and denial I felt over that personally, I doubted that was the case thanks to my little stumble into no-man''s-land. Two, I was living my life completely unimpeded and the author or whoever¡ªor whatever¡ªwas simply recording what happened to me. I really wanted to believe that, but doubted it was the case. After all, what made me bolt out of Tracy''s like a stereotypical Japanese school girl out of a haunted house when her love interest is lured away by her rival was the realization that my own reactions to Rachel were becoming increasingly out of character. Three, external forces were in fact acting upon my life, but I retained some level of autonomy in my actions. How much was anyone''s guess.


    That last one seemed the most likely. I couldn''t explain a single thing about the situation I found myself in but based on what I had experienced at the diner, I was betting that while I was still mostly in control of myself, my actions and those of the people around me were currently being influenced to act out some unknown script.


    Which royally pissed me off. Being a teenager isn''t hard enough, now my life has to become the plaything for some untouchable entity? Screw that! There had to be some way to¡ª


    "Peanut?" my mom called from the other side of my door. "Emily is here, and she really wants to talk to you; would you come on down to the kitchen?"


    I experienced the emotional equivalent of getting tossed into a walk-in freezer immediately after trying to beat my 100 meter personal best in the height of summer. Emily had never simply dropped by; we always planned our dates and casual get-togethers ahead via text, even if only a couple hours prior. Why had she suddenly shown up at my house, and why now? It must have only been a couple pages ago that I realized I was stuck in a manga and practically had Rachel thrown at me¡­oh shit. Oh, this was not good. I absolutely did not want to talk to Emily right now, but since she was in my freaking kitchen I had zero options.


    "I''ll be right there!" I called to my mom, hoping that the panic I was feeling didn''t bleed over into my voice. Jumping up, I paced around my room as best I could given the limited space.


    I have never in my life come across a manga in which a teenage protagonist starts the story out with a girlfriend. Even the manga that didn''t care a fig for romance always seemed to focus on single characters. Yet here I was, girlfriend waiting for me downstairs¡ªprobably impatiently, knowing Emily. I was kind of surprised she hadn''t just followed Mom upstairs and barged into my room.


    No, focus! I wasn''t helpless here. In manga, whenever there''s relationship trouble, what''s the cause? Two people who are unwilling to talk frankly to one another. Meddling external parties, love triangles, harems, everything is always, always, always rooted in a low-level inability to understand or communicate their feelings.


    If my fears were correct and Emily was here to break up with me thanks to some jackass author, then my best odds of preventing that were simply to talk frankly with her. Maybe even tell her about what I experienced at Tracy''s. Sure, she might think I''m crazy, but maybe it would break the narrative open and let me regain control of my own life.


    Because I absolutely refused to lose Emily.


    "Bring it on, asshole," I said aloud, and went downstairs before I could chicken out.

 Harem Scarem: 003

    Harem Scarem: 003


    Emily was fidgeting at our kitchen table with an array of small plates spread out around her like some sort of weird food-based model of the solar system. Clearly Mom had been attempting to feed her, but she wasn''t interested. I''m not really sure why, but my mom has an almost pathological need to feed people snacks whenever they visit. She doesn''t ask if they want something, she just quietly provides food. And evidently in this case kept quietly providing food. Had she kept Emily in the kitchen for a while before she came up go get me? I didn''t take that long dithering before I came down.


    "Xavier," said Emily in evident relief when I entered the kitchen. She briefly met my eyes, then immediately looked away. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"


    That didn''t sound good. "Sure," I said, and with barely any hesitation but plenty of internal panic I lead her to the Lab.


    What is it about secrets that you''ve kept for a really long time? I was having heart palpitations all the way down the hall, and it was less the fact that I was seriously freaked about what Emily wanted to talk about¡ªthough that certainly played a role¡ªand more that I was planning to actually show someone outside the family the Lab. It wasn''t like I''d ever had a bad experience with someone mocking me because of my interest in manga; outside of manga stories themselves, I didn''t have a single reason to believe that Emily would do anything more than shrug when she found out. Yet despite it all as we passed the stairs I almost veered up them and redirected us to my room.


    Then again, I was in a manga. Taking a girl to my room raised so many narrative flags I could think of easily a dozen different pre-made scenarios that could play out¡ªnone of which would help my central dilemma of needing to ensure that Emily understood what was going on with me and didn''t try something stupid like breaking up with me because she''d heard a rumor I''d flirted with someone at Tracy''s.


    Hold up. Why was Emily here so soon after that, anyway?


    I don''t think Emily said anything as we walked down the hall, but I probably wouldn''t have noticed even if she had.


    At last we drew even with the closed door of the Lab. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door, lead the way into the room, and checked under the table and behind both chairs while Emily sat down and gave a cursory glance at the shelves before redirecting her gaze at her feet.


    After I closed the door and sat down in the other chair there was a long stint of uncomfortable silence. Emily was avoiding my eyes¡ªand fidgeting, of course, because sitting still suited Emily about as well as playing fetch suits a cat¡ªwhile I was trying to force myself past my ongoing feelings of panic and broach the topic of oh, by the way, we''re apparently fictional characters.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    Yeah, that approach was going to work brilliantly. I hadn''t thought this through at all.


    Unfortunately for me, before I was able to properly order my thoughts Emily dropped her bombshell. "We''re moving away!" Emily blurted out, making me almost jump out of my chair in surprise at her sudden outburst. "My dad got transferred to Spokane, and we''re moving there next week. I''m sorry, Xavier, but need to break up."


    "What?" I said. "No. Spokane?"


    But Emily didn''t even pause. "It was really sudden and I told my parents I didn''t want to go, but everything just lined up too perfectly and Dad said that this was an opportunity he couldn''t miss and if we missed out on the house we might have to move in the middle of the school year which would be awful, and I''m sorry Xavier, but it''s just too far."


    She was still refusing to look at me. "No, Emily¡­I mean, this is too sudden. Look, maybe we can¡­"


    She finally made eye contact with me, and although she wasn''t crying her eyes were absolutely brimming. "I''m sorry, I''m sorry. I''m really sorry. I''ll miss you, Xavier." And before I could do so much as reach for her, she was out of her chair, the door to the Lab slapped up against the bookshelf behind it, and she was gone.


    "Emily, wait!" I called, scrambling to follow her, but she was already down the hall. Before I made it that far I heard the distinctive creaking noise of the front door''s hinges, and all I could do was watch from the doorway as she climbed into the car that was waiting for her at the curb. And then she was gone.


    I just stood for several seconds staring as the Holt''s car steadily ate up the roadway, turned the corner, and was out of sight.


    I don''t know how long I stood staring at the empty road, emotions bubbling through me like pasta in a pot of boiling water. Now sadness floats to the top, then submerges again as anger throws itself forward. Disbelief, denial, despair; each jumps to prominence only to fall back as anger roils to the surface once more. Then sadness, a feeling of helplessness. I don''t know what to do.


    "Peanut?" says my mom. I didn''t even notice her coming up behind me from the kitchen. "Do you want to talk?"


    "No," I said shortly, and shut the front door. At least, not to her. Barely seeing Mom, I turn and stride to my room. Where did I leave it? There, on the corner of the desk, where I normally dropped it after getting home. I grabbed my phone and stabbed the favorite I had saved for Emily so hard I nearly stubbed my finger. I rarely called her¡ªwe typically communicated via text, or by preference face-to-face¡ªbut the few times I''d called her to arrange a date or meet-up she''d always answered within the first couple rings.


    The phone rang endlessly, my heartbeat accelerating faster each time as I anticipated the shifting sound of a connection, then Emily''s voice. Finally, the change in background noise finally came, but it was only an automated message. "The number you have dialed is not¡­" blah blah blah. Damn it!


    I tried again. And again. She didn''t even have it setup to accept messages for some reason. I sent her a text. Emily, please can we meet up to talk about this?


    No response. No response when later that evening I sent a follow-up text.


    No response for an entire week, until one day I woke up to find her last words to me floating on my lock screen.


    I''m sorry. Goodbye.

 Harem Scarem: 004

    Harem Scarem: 004


    What do you do when your life spirals out of your control? Well, turns out when that happens, I stay home and read manga. Lots and lots of manga. I guess that might seem a bit strange, given that I was in a manga, but honestly, I just wasn''t up for anything else. I mean, sure I could try and spend time with friends, but that seemed like a good way to raise flags with Rachel; I was certain she''d show up to any gathering that included Seamus. Plus I didn''t feel much like hanging out, anyway. The way Emily dumped me and cut off all communication hit me hard. Sure, I suppose four months isn''t all that long for a relationship to last in the big scheme of things, but I was head over heels for her. I''d never used the big "L" word, but it was something that had been on my mind ever since we''d started hanging out so often over the summer.


    And then she was gone, just like that. I still don''t have any idea exactly how much control over my world I can attribute to the manga''s author, assuming there is one, but who moves their family across the state with such short notice? It beggared belief that something like that could be a normal coincidence.


    The worst thing about the whole fiasco was that there was utterly nothing I could do about it. Maybe if Emily had responded to me at all I could have tried to work something out with her, or at the very least talked to her about what I was going through like I''d originally planned. But I was denied that possibility, and it left me feeling powerless and depressed.


    When you came right down to it, the only tool I could think of in my arsenal was knowledge. Knowing that I was a character in a manga meant that I could achieve some level of foresight if I could figure out the genre. Granted, I couldn''t be sure how much power the theoretical author had over me, but at least knowing what tropes and patterns were upcoming would give me the option to try and assert some control over my own destiny.


    Unfortunately, while I was felt confident I was stuck in some sort of slice-of-life story, I wasn''t sure which type. I was reasonably certain Rachel was a love interest, possibly the love interest given how effectively Emily got shuffled out of the way, so there was a romance element. Based on the title, it was probably a comedy of some sort rather than a drama, though given how awful I''d been feeling thanks to Emily that might be inaccurate. Assuming I was the main character, it was probably either a shounen or seinen story (targeted at young boys or young adult men, respectively). With my age and the potential romance angle, I was leaning toward seinen, although the high school setting and romance also meant there was an outside chance this was shoujo (manga targeted at young women). Seinen vs. shoujo was particularly up in the air because Rachel wasn''t a typical seinen romance interest: she didn''t have absurdly oversized breasts.


    So with the lack of any definitive information, I started going through the Lab, reading every slice-of-life seinen or shoujo series I could find.


    Three weeks after Emily''s final text message, I was close to hitting the end of my rope. Turns out that when all you do is sleep, eat meals, and read manga you can plough through a lot of manga. I was frankly getting sick of slice-of-life. It varied a bit depending on the quality of the mangaka (the creator of a manga), but a broad segment of slice-of-life stories could more accurately be described as "drama manufactured from a lack of communication" stories. Which, given how things fell out with Emily, I didn''t have a lot of patience with.


    Fortunately for my sanity, three weeks was evidently the maximum amount of inactivity I was allowed, because just as I was pondering whether I could stomach yet another slice-of-life without succumbing to the urge to just burn the Lab down and call it good I received an invitation to hang out from Hayden. I was only too eager to accept.


    <hr>


    When I was younger, it was normal to invite a friend over to my house to play, or else go visit them at their house. I don''t know when that stopped, but sometime around late middle school or early high school I started spending time with friends almost exclusively out and about. Take Hayden, for instance: he has never darkened the door to my family home, though thanks to being one of the only people in my social circle with their driver''s license he''s driven me home a couple times. When did I meet him? Early in ninth grade.


    No, Hayden and I don''t hang out at home. Instead, we almost always end up spending time in parking lots.


    That sounds really sketchy when I think about it, but it''s nothing of the sort. It''s just that after we''ve spent a reasonable amount of time in an establishment (be it a restaurant, movie theater, bowling alley, arcade, whatever), we decide to go home. So we head out to the parking lot, but we''re talking as we walk. A minute or two later we''re standing by the car, but we''re both really into the conversation. Then two hours later one of us looks at his phone and realizes we just stood in a fricking parking lot for twice the amount of time we were in the establishment. Just standing and talking.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    And we go home feeling slightly silly, wondering why we didn''t just stay inside where it''s warm and dry.


    In any case, that''s where I ended up this time, as well. We''d watched a movie that Hayden had been looking forward to seeing and ended up in the parking lot discussing exactly how and why it had been so ludicrously bad.


    "¡­and that scooter scene at the end!" Hayden was saying, maybe an hour or so into our stint in the cinema parking lot, exhaust fumes wafting by on the breeze. "Was the composer not told what that score was accompanying at all?"


    "Seriously! I laughed so hard there the people in front actually turned around and glared at me."


    "Ha ha, I totally saw that! Though serious talk: Xavier, you laugh way loudly when you really get going."


    "At least I don''t put dialog into the characters mouths in the middle of the dramatic sex scene."


    "Oh god, I was trying to forget that moment. Seriously, how were the previews so good and the end result so awful? I couldn''t help dubbing it, because it was that or run screaming."


    "I think our audience-mates would probably have preferred the screaming."


    "Heathens! Philistines! No one appreciates extemporaneous humor the way they should."


    "At least not on opening weekend they don''t."


    Hayden shrugged. "Their loss. Anyway, when this gets shunted to the budget theater in a few weeks, how about we see it again and Mystery Science Theater the whole thing? I''ll bet Andrea would be up for it; what about you and Emily?"


    Reality came crashing back. "Uh, well. Emily actually broke up with me. Her family suddenly moved to Spokane, maybe two, three weeks ago."


    Hayden lost his ever-present smile. "What, seriously? Shit, that sucks."


    "Yeah," I said, sadness tightening my throat up. "Yeah, it does."


    Awkward silence commenced. Hayden shifted his weight back and forth and finally shrugged. "Well, offer stands."


    "Or you could just go with Andrea. Just the two of you. Aloooone in the theater." I wiggled my eyebrows up and down at Hayden in what was clearly a suggestive manner. He gave me the stink eye. "Yeah, okay, that sounds fun. We don''t have any family trips planned this summer, so let me know once it gets booted from the real theaters."


    "Will do." Hayden glanced at his phone. "Crap, how long have we been standing in this parking lot?"


    I grimaced. "Longer than is healthy. Unlock your damn car already and we can hit the road."


    Hayden grinned, shrugged, and did just that. "You need to let your folks know you''re on the way?"


    "No, we''re still good. I told them we''d probably be home an hour or two after the movie ended, so they''ll have eaten without me."


    "Party on," said Hayden.


    "Excellent!" I responded.


    "Damn it, I thought for sure you wouldn''t catch that one!" said Hayden. "How do you even know that movie?"


    I shrugged. "I think I''ve only seen it once, actually, but you know my Mom. She re-watches everything at one point or another, and that one¡­made an impression."


    "Ha, yeah. Our parents have shit taste or what?" said Hayden.


    "You don''t know the half of it," I muttered, thinking of some of the books in the Lab. Hayden just laughed.


    <hr>


    Twenty minutes later, Hayden dropped me off at my driveway and hied himself homewards. I trudged up the drive, half wishing I had a reason to stay out later since getting out of the house had been such a welcome distraction from my post-breakup funk.


    Sadly, I had neither the excuse nor the driver''s license necessary to convey myself anywhere halfway interesting.


    Before I''d even divested myself of my shoes, my mom hustled into view from down the hall. "Xavier, is that you? Oh good, come help me carry these boxes."


    "What are you doing, Mom?" I asked bemusedly as I followed her down the hall to my elder sister Sasha''s old room. Sasha''s bedroom had been lying fallow for several years, though now that she''d graduated college and rented an apartment with three room-mates my parents had been talking about boxing up her stuff and using the room for storage or something. It looked like that plan was now underway, though I wasn''t sure why Mom was in such a rush over it.


    Mom loaded me up with a couple of the boxes that were now sitting near Sasha''s old bed, grabbed one herself, and lead the way towards the stairs. "It''s a bit sudden, but we''re going to have a house guest for a couple weeks. Yeah, just put those there; your dad will take them up to the attic once he gets back. Anyway, I got Sasha''s closet packed up just in time."


    "So who¡ª" I started, but my mom cut me off.


    "Oh, that''s the garage door! Can you take the last two boxes upstairs for me, Peanut?" Without waiting for an answer, she strode down the hall towards the front door.


    I shrugged and ferried the final two boxes up the stairs to the stack that was waiting near where the stairs for the attic could be folded out of the ceiling. Downstairs I could hear my dad and mom''s voices, along with a third I didn''t recognize. Sounded like a girl, though.


    As I came down the stairs my dad passed below me through the hall dragging a large suitcase. "Go grab the rest of the luggage in the entryway, would you, Xavier? And how was the movie?" he called back over his shoulder.


    "Sure, Dad. Movie was awful," I called after him, and headed for the entryway.


    Just inside the front door a young woman with braided blond hair looked up from where she was bent over taking off her shoes. "Hi, Xavier," said Rachel, a slight smile wrinkling the corners of her eyes.


    Well, shit. I''d been studiously avoiding Rachel, so I guess the story decided it was time that Rachel came to me.

 Harem Scarem: 005

    Harem Scarem: 005


    According to my mom, things shook down like this: thanks to his job, Rachel''s father has to relocate regularly. This summer he was going to be out of the country entirely with several moves during the interim, so the Doyles¡ªSeamus'' family¡ªvolunteered to host Rachel for a few weeks.


    Having Rachel as a house guest was a last-minute development, however, and the Doyles had already booked an extended two-week vacation on a cruise ship for their whole family. The cruise company had originally said there was room for Rachel as a late addition, but at the last minute reneged, leaving the Doyles with the quandary of what to do with their unexpected guest. Seamus'' mom and my mom are close friends, so when Mom heard about the problem, she immediately suggested that Rachel stay with us instead. After all, we had an extra bed now that Sasha was out of the house, and that way Rachel wouldn''t be stuck alone in a relative''s house in a strange city for two weeks.


    So in the span of a few hours, while I was out destroying my faith in movie previews and then subsequently chewing the fat with Hayden, Rachel became a house guest.


    I was honestly not sure how to process this development, since it didn''t fit into any of my expectations for how manga should work. Cohabitation with a love interest? Sure, that''s a standby (usually for shoujo relationship dramas), but 100% of the time it involves two people who live away from their families. Having a love interest move into the family home, with the family still in residence? I''d never seen that particular plot twist, because how can you have heart-pounding scenarios crop up when your parents and sibling are constantly hanging around? I mean, if my parents were divorced and Rachel''s dad married my mom, it would be one thing. Falling in love with a step-sibling is a tried and true manga trope (and thank goodness that wasn''t the case here, because the whole "sibling as a romantic partner" thing¡ªeven if it isn''t siblings related by blood¡ªcreeps me the heck out).


    In any case, my exhaustive research of the last few weeks was proving useless, because without an established clich¨¦ to work with I wasn''t quite sure how best to thwart the plot.


    <hr>


    While Mom had described why Rachel was staying with us when I asked her, I didn''t actually see Rachel herself much until the next morning when she joined us for breakfast. She spent the entirety of the evening moving her stuff into Sasha''s room and getting situated by my parents.


    The next morning being a Saturday, though, we all ended up at the breakfast table together for our weekly Dad-sperience.


    Since he works at an office a decent commute away, Dad doesn''t cook much during the week. Instead he always makes a big fancy breakfast on Saturday mornings that we''re all expected to eat together (barring other commitments; there were a memorable couple of years when Sasha was doing early morning swim practice six days a week, and boy was Dad grumpy every weekend for a while). Unfortunately, while he loves breakfast, he also tends to experiment without bothering to think ahead or consult¡ªwell, anything at all, really. No recipes, online videos, or cooking classes for him, thank you very much. We''ve all pretty much given up on suggesting he look to outside sources at this point; it always just results in half an hour of grumbling about what it means to be an engineer. Never mind the fact that he hasn''t written a line of actual code in years.


    So it was with minor trepidation not only over seeing Rachel but also over discovering whatever Dad might have cooked up for our unexpected guest that I trooped downstairs the next morning.


    Fortunately, it smelled like pancakes, which¡ªbarring his stint a couple years back when he tried every strange grain he could get his hands on¡ªusually turn out delicious.


    I was one of the last to get to the kitchen table thanks to taking the time to shower and get dressed, so by the time I arrived everyone was already seated: Mom, Rachel, and my younger sister Vickie back near the windows, and two spots open for Dad and me closer to the kitchen.


    "There you are, Xavier. I was just about to call you," said Dad as he flipped several pancakes over on the griddle in quick succession.


    "Morning, Xavier," said Mom. Rachel just smiled quietly, and Vickie didn''t look up from the manga she was reading.


    "Morning," I said, and sat down.


    "Put that away, Vickie," said Dad. "I''m serving."


    She hopped down and trotted the manga out to the living room. Vickie is thirteen, and she''s a little weird. Puberty hasn''t hit her particularly hard yet, and she''s always been petite, so people usually think she''s a year or two younger than she actually is. Like me, she takes after Mom a whole lot more than Dad and is very obviously of Japanese descent. She keeps her hair pretty long¡ªmaybe down to her shoulders or a little longer¡ªand doesn''t take shit from anyone.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Dad flipped the pancakes off the griddle and onto a plate, deposited the plate in the table, and pulled a skillet out of the oven. Ah, damn. Looked like he was still full in the throes of his egg dish mania. Mom, Vickie, and I all watched him set the skillet on a trivet with deep and abiding suspicion, while Rachel just looked slightly curious.


    "Alright, eat up!" Dad exclaimed, dropping into the remaining chair and snagging a pancake for himself.


    Rachel followed his lead while Vickie, Mom, and I all stared critically at the skillet with its decidedly innocent looking eggs. Unfortunately for me, before I realized what was going on both Mom and Vickie grabbed a pancake, leaving me with no choice but to break into the egg dish or wait until the next batch of pancakes came off the griddle.


    "Oh, sorry Xavier," said Dad with his mouth full. "I forgot to get something to serve the frittata with."


    "I''ll do it," I said with regret, and got up to fetch a serving spoon and face my fate.


    While I was up, Mom turned to Rachel. "Were you able to settle in alright last night? I''m sorry about the last-minute accommodations."


    "No, I was fine Mrs. Brock," said Rachel. "Honestly, it was great just having a room to myself. The Doyles don''t have any extra beds, so I was either sharing a room or sleeping on the couch."


    "Call me Hana," said my mom. "And I''m guessing my husband didn''t introduce himself when he picked you up last night. He''s Bill, and my daughter''s Victoria. And you know Xavier already."


    "Only when I''m in trouble," grumbled Vickie. "You can call me Vickie." She poked me in the side. "What''s the verdict?"


    "Uh, do you like beets?" I said. On my plate my frittata slowly bled reddish purple juice.


    Vickie grimaced. "I''ll stick to pancakes."


    "Don''t worry about eating any of the egg dish, Rachel," said my mom. "Bill can''t resist experimenting and, well¡­"


    Dad sniffed. "Beets are wonderful for you. Don''t listen to these Philistines, Rachel."


    "I''ll try some," said Rachel with a smile. "It looks lovely."


    "Don''t hurt yourself," mumbled Vickie around her last bite of pancake.


    In the end the score was: an entire piece for Dad, five bites for me, three for Rachel, two and a half for Mom, and Vickie forfeited. Of the pancakes, none were sparred.


    As was typical after Saturday morning breakfast, Vickie disappeared into the house somewhere, likely to continue reading her manga. Dad wandered off somewhere, and Mom cleaned up.


    "Xavier, can you show Rachel around the house?" asked mom as she put the maple syrup back in the fridge. "Everything last night was so last minute I didn''t get a chance to do much more than settle her into Sasha''s old room. Unless you need to do any more unpacking?" my mom asked Rachel.


    "I''m good Mrs.¡ªHana. Are you sure I can''t help clean up?"


    "Shoo!" said Mom. "You already cleared your place, which is more than my offspring can apparently manage. Xavier, Rachel will be sharing the upstairs bathroom for now, so get a towel out for her, would you?"


    "Sure," I said, and lead the way out of the kitchen.


    Our house isn''t particularly complicated, so the tour didn''t take long. On the ground floor, the kitchen is right near the front door and wraps around the house to the mud room and the back door. Further back is the dining table followed by the living room, where we discovered Dad doing something on a laptop. The space where the dining table lives merges into the hallway, which leads to Mom and Dad''s bedroom, Sasha''s old bedroom, the Lab, and the stairs. Rachel gave me a bit of a funny look when I told her the Lab''s name and it turned out to be a library, but I don''t think she noticed the type of books populating the shelves. Not the I had much hope of that remaining a secret given that she was living with us. I''d just have to cross my fingers she didn''t out me to my friends.


    Upstairs are Vickie and my rooms, the bathroom we share, and several large closets that Mom uses to store everything from bedding to cleaning products.


    As per request, I got a towel out of the bedding and sundries closet.


    "Thanks, Xavier," said Rachel after I showed her the bathroom and hung her towel on the rack. "Mind if I take a shower? I haven''t had a chance today."


    Could have fooled me. She was perfectly coiffed. "Go for it. Unless you''ve got a burning desire to see the junk we''ve got in the attic, that''s the full tour."


    She smiled at me. "Maybe another time. Thanks again."


    I shrugged and left her to it.


    Maybe this wouldn''t be too bad. I was still suspicious that Rachel was my intended love interest, but the entire tour of the house she''d barely said a word, and certainly hadn''t acted in a stereotypical "oh noooes, I''m in a house with a boy" way like you''d expect for a manga. She was just her perfectly put-together demure self, like she''d been the bulk of the time we were at Tracy''s several weeks back.


    Maybe I''d been agonizing over nothing. Actually, come to think of it I hadn''t really had any stereotypical manga-ish occurrences since Emily moved away. My day to day life would be incredibly boring to an outsider, so who would waste time reading about that? Ha, maybe my manga got canceled after just a chapter or two, which is why things had gone off script recently. That would be wonderful, although I couldn''t think of any way I would be able to verify the possibility. No matter what I''d tried I hadn''t been able to break the fourth wall since my stumble at Tracy''s, so I really had nothing I could do except speculate.


    Which I admittedly did for a while, although it quickly devolved into daydreaming about Emily moving back and meeting her unexpectedly at school on the first day. It was a really touching reunion, if I do say so myself.


    Still somewhat distracted, I headed down the hall to answer a call of nature and maybe take a shower myself now that Rachel was undoubtedly done.


    I opened the bathroom door, took one step inside, and stopped dead in my tracks. I''d thought Rachel had long since finished her shower and headed back downstairs.


    I''d thought wrong.

 Harem Scarem: 006

    Harem Scarem: 006


    At its heart, manga is about wish fulfillment. I mean I guess it''s kind of obvious; that''s pretty much most popular entertainment. And like a lot of commercialized art forms, a lot of pages are spent rehashing what works (or what the publishers believe will work, and given they have access to the sales data, I suppose they''re the most likely to know).


    So shoujo slice-of-life romance manga inevitably involves the heroine or love interest falling sick and their prospective partner dropping by to nurse them. Shounen battle manga always have a same sex rival who communicates just how much they actually care about the protagonist with their fists. And seinen rom-coms always involve some amount of lucky lechery.


    What constitutes lucky lechery varies a lot across authors, but it usually involves a titillating or risqu¨¦ situation that occurs thanks to happenstance (because hey, otherwise the main character would be a super creepy pervert, and that stuff is saved for doujinshi¡ªself-published manga that is often too extreme or niche for traditional publishers).


    In any case, it''s now official that I''m stuck in some sort of seinen romance, because I am a bona fide lucky lecher.


    Although she had evidently finished showering, Rachel was not in fact done in the bathroom. However, she hadn''t locked the door. When I walked in, she was in the middle of changing into her clothes.


    I stopped mid-step, and as embarrassing it is to admit it, I drank the sight in.


    Rachel was standing at an angle with her back to the door, bent over with one leg flat footed and the other tiptoe on a little stool that we''d had in the bathroom forever as she pulled her sock on. She wasn''t completely naked: she was wearing panties (pink, with a little white lace tastefully arrayed around the waist) and a bra (white, but this time with a little pink lace around the top of the cup). I''ll be honest: she had a damn near perfect butt, and the slight glimpse I had of the curve of her breast was equally fascinating.


    Now here''s the thing: I''ve seen people bend over like this when stretching for track and field, and it''s not sexy at all. Rachel, on the other hand, was gorgeous. It was like she was posing for the perfect shot in a manga. Which I guess she kind of was, not that she knew that.


    At the sound of the door she glanced back over her shoulder and our eyes met. One awkward pause as Rachel''s face quickly heated later, and I all but jumped back out the door, shutting it behind me. "I''m so sorry!" I called as I did so. "I thought you''d already gone back downstairs! I should have knocked!"


    "Wait, Xavier," said Rachel through the door, and then she cracked it and stuck just her head around the side. She was still flushed with embarrassment, and I still thought it was far cuter than her normal implacable attitude. "I''m sorry, I forgot to lock the door. Please don''t get all weird with me about this."


    That¡­was a surprisingly mature response for a seinen rom-com love interest. I''d been about the flee down the hall in fear of being sent physically flying (slapstick violence being a classic response to a moment of lucky lechery). Which I guess made sense, given that Rachel was a normal person and not a cartoon character.


    Shit, now I was the one whose face was heating up. "No, that was¡ªI''m sorry, I really will be better about knocking. I''m not used to sharing the bathroom with anyone other than Vickie."


    "Well, no harm no foul," said Rachel with a playful smile. "At least I''d put my underthings on."


    Now that was an image I definitely didn''t need. And actually, hold the phone: who puts their socks on immediately after their underwear? Was that normal? I mean she must have had a change of clothes with her; it''s not like she was going to go all the way down the hall, down the stairs, and then through a second hall in nothing but her bra, panties, and socks. Also, socks? Indoors? It''s not like Rachel wore thigh-high tights (another manga standard that I''d never seen in reality); they were legit, ankle-length socks.


    Nothing made sense any more, and I''d been just standing and staring at her face like an idiot for a little longer than was socially acceptable.


    "Anyway," she said finally. "Do you have any plans today?"


    "Nothing in particular," I said. I mean, I guess I''d vaguely assumed I''d be reading more manga, but instead I was back to living one.


    "Would you mind showing me the neighborhood, then? I don''t know where anything is."


    "Well, there''s not much to show, to be honest. You kind of have to drive to get anywhere worthwhile."


    "Even so, I''d appreciate it," she said with a smile.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    I didn''t have any reason to refuse. Given that she was living with me, making up an excuse and then lounging around reading manga would get me discovered real quick. "Sure, I can do that."


    "Great!" she said, and beamed at me. "Let me just get dressed, and¡ªoh, will you need the shower, too?"


    "Yeah."


    "Okay, then maybe before lunch? Will we have time?"


    "Seriously, there''s not much nearby."


    "Okay, then I''ll see you in a bit!" she said and shut the door once more. I waited for a second, and there was the quiet shnk of the lock engaging.


    Back in my room, I collapsed on my bed. Ugh, that was exhausting. Aside from the whole embarrassment issue, I was back to feeling angry about having my life yanked around. I''m pretty sure people don''t normally put socks prior to the rest of their clothes, much less stand with such a contrived posture to do so. Why would her back be to the door? The shower is directly opposite, so she''d more likely have gotten out and started getting dressed facing the door. And beyond that, damn it, I was still missing Emily! But Rachel undeniably had my heart pounding because whatever my first impressions of her might have been, now that I''d seen her mostly unclothed she was gorgeous. Which was absolutely infuriating! I refused to be led around by circumstance and plain old adolescent lust thanks to a story that took Emily away from me! But at the same time, taking this frustration out on Rachel would be stupid, and who knew how long I''d have to live with her. Just a couple weeks, I supposed, but a couple weeks is a really long time during summer vacation when you''re all stuck in the house without a driver''s license.


    Argh, there were just no good options for me! I guess I would have to play nice with Rachel but try to keep her at a distance. She seemed to be pretty clued into social nuances, judging by her behavior when I''d first met her. Maybe she''d take the hint and leave me alone.


    It was all just so frustrating! Plus, I never did get a chance to go to the bathroom, and my bladder was killing me. Mom, Dad, I''m using your bathroom. Tough luck.


    And if I walk in on one of them naked, I''m dropping out of school and moving to Alaska or something, because screw this.


    <hr>


    So, there we were. Rachel wasn''t wearing anything particularly form fitting today, but I was still having a bit of trouble concentrating with her walking beside me. Which was ridiculous! It''s not like I wouldn''t have seen just as much of her body at the beach or pool! There was no reason to get all hot and bothered over this, and damn me if that wasn''t exactly what the author wanted, anyway.


    Although granted, people generally don''t stand in such provocative poses at the pool. Anyway, moving on!


    Rachel and I headed out for a little walk around the neighborhood since she apparently liked the big outdoors. Or wandering around suburbs or something. I didn''t really get it, so I guessed I might as well ask.


    "What exactly is it that you wanted to see, anyway?"


    "Mmm," said Rachel, staring up the street rather than meeting my eye. Huh, maybe she was feeling a bit self conscious, too, for all that she''d been acting her normal aloof self since I found her downstairs after showering. "Are there any good places to walk to from your house?"


    "Uh, not really," I said. "Pretty much all the fun places to go require driving."


    "Oh, it doesn''t have to be fun," Rachel assured me. "I''m just wondering about good walking spots."


    "I''m not really much into wandering around," I said doubtfully. "I guess there''s Dykstra Park, though that''s a few blocks away, and the river is over near there. Otherwise it''s mostly just houses around here."


    Rachel''s eyes lit up and she looked me full in the face for the first time since we''d left the house. "That sounds perfect. How do we get there?"


    So that was how we ended up at Dykstra Park. The playground was empty at the moment, but Rachel didn''t pay it any attention in any case. Instead she made a beeline through the park for the bridge over the river.


    "Where does this lead?" she asked.


    "There''s another park across the river; I think it''s mostly just grass and a walking trail, though."


    "That''s all I need," she said, and led the way across the bridge. I trailed after, wondering why she needed me for this in the first place. We walked for a couple minutes, and finally Rachel settled onto a bench overlooking the river. I sat down on the far side of the bench and watched the green water roil by for a bit.


    "So, uh, why are you so big into parks, anyway?" I finally asked.


    Rachel didn''t answer for several seconds, leaving me once again to wonder why she insisted I show her the place if she just wanted to be alone.


    "I''ve stayed with the Doyles before," she said at last. Ooookay, and that had what to do with lazy strolls through a city park exactly? "This was maybe 10, 11 years ago? Anyway, they put me up for maybe half a year, but then things got a little tight when Jordan was going to be born¡­"¡ªthat would be Seamus'' younger brother¡ª"¡­so I had to move. We actually met one another then; do you remember?"


    "Ten years ago?" I said, thinking back. I would have been what, five then? I honestly had no recollection of any girls named Rachel from back then, though that wasn''t terribly surprising. I''d certainly been seeing a lot of Seamus at that point, but my memory has always been pretty fuzzy when it comes to anything much beyond a few years back. I tended to remember big events, but everyday life just sort of flowed through me for the most part. "Sorry, I don''t remember that at all."


    Rachel shrugged and smiled. "It''s not a big deal. That''s completely normal for me. My dad''s always moving around for work, so whenever he''s out of the country I end up living with relatives. I''ve got a good memory for names and faces, but for most folks I''m just a girl passing through."


    Well, that was a downer. I had no idea what to say, and fortunately for me Rachel wasn''t done.


    "Anyway, I''m a guest in other people''s homes all the time, and it can get tiring, you know? So when I''m not really feeling like smiling I like to take a walk and just spend some time with nature, if I can. This park is perfect for that, Xavier. Thank you." She gave me a shy smile, then turned back to the river.


    "Yeah, um, not a problem," I said. Were we close, 10 years ago? I certainly wasn''t expecting her to open up like that, and having now walked in on her practically naked and had a minor heart-to-heart within the span of a single morning I was feeling pretty damn awkward.


    We sat in silence for a few more minutes, Rachel just watching the river flow by and me trying my best not to watch Rachel.


    It was more difficult than I like to admit.

 Harem Scarem: 007

    Harem Scarem: 007


    Two weeks later Rachel had settled into our domestic routine, and I had successfully avoided any further lucky lechery. Honestly, she fit right in. Given how much attention she clearly paid to her appearance I expected her to be focused on shopping or wasting time online or similar, but it turned out Rachel was a reader. When my mom took my sister to a day camp activity at the nearest public library, Rachel went along and came back weighed down with about 15 books. To my surprise, she plowed through them in record time, often while curled up on the living room couch.


    I normally did most of my reading in the Lab, but I started bringing my manga to the living room just to make sure she wasn''t alone all the time. Even Vickie could be found lurking around behind Dad''s favored armchair more days than not.


    Oddly, Rachel never commented on the manga or the Lab. I did see her browsing the shelves once before her epic library trip, but I guess she wasn''t interested. I dreaded her bringing it up, but after a couple days without comment or behaving any differently toward me I had to accept that she just didn''t care.


    It was honestly a little weird, and made me wonder if I''d been making my family''s manga habit into something more than it actually was. I mean, sure, a lot of my peers would be only too happy to roast me if they ever discovered how much manga I read, but all of my friends were kind of weird in their own ways. I might have been doing them a disservice assuming the worst for their reactions if they ever found out.


    Regardless, Rachel became a normal part of the household, settling in quickly. I think my mom probably liked having her around the most; Rachel was always willing to help out with food prep, or dishes, or almost any chore that needed doing. (Whereas Vickie and I had to be reminded even for the things that we were expected to do regularly.) The rest of us didn''t have any problems with her presence, though, which frankly surprised me. I was expecting having a girl my age living in the same house to be a lot more intrusive to my daily life.


    Now that the Doyles would be arriving back home from their vacation, Rachel would be leaving any day. Or at least that''s what I had assumed.


    "Peanut?" called my mom as I walked by the kitchen where she was emptying the dishwasher prior to making dinner. She must have had something more labor-intensive than normal in store to be starting this early. "You have a minute?"


    "Sure, Mom, what''s up?" I asked her, and sat down at the kitchen table.


    "You know that the Doyles are getting home tomorrow?"


    I nodded.


    "Well, your father and I were talking and we''re thinking of offering to host Rachel longer term, if she''s comfortable with it. Evidently her father is going to be out of the country for the vast majority of the school year, and we''ve got space for her that the Doyles lack. I wanted to ask you and Vickie about it first, though. I know it''s not convenient to have to share your house with someone who isn''t even a relative, and if you''re against it the Doyles will figure something else out."


    "Hmm," I said noncommittally. On the one hand, having Rachel living with me was indeed a major problem for me, though more because she was a manga love interest than because I had any personal problems with cohabitation.


    On the other, I remembered what she''d said two weeks ago when I showed her the way to Dykstra Park. She''d grown up an eternal house guest; someone who people hosted and then forgot when she inevitably moved on, and I was one of those people who promptly forgot her. I didn''t feel guilty about that¡ªI was five at the time, after all, and there were very few people I''d played with back then who I remember at all¡ªbut I didn''t feel happy about the prospect of shoving her out the door and forgetting her now that I knew it was a burden she was bearing. If I were being honest, I liked her pretty well. I was still angry about losing Emily, but spending two weeks in proximity to Rachel had made me realize that she was a decent person. It wasn''t her fault she''d been chosen to interfere with my life.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    "Well, Peanut, what do you think?" said Mom.


    "I think¡ªyou should invite Rachel to stay," I said slowly. "You''re right that it''s not very, mm, convenient for me in some ways, but I don''t want to just kick her out, either. Honestly, I like having her around; she''s practically family at this point." I paused. "After all, I don''t get stuck with the dishes as often with her here."


    Mom laughed. "What a selfless hero I''ve raised. Alright, Mr. Chivalrous, you''d better make yourself scarce before I rope you into finishing the dishwasher for me."


    Her tone of voice sounded like she was joking, but that was a serious threat. I high-tailed it out of there and headed for my room.


    <hr>


    So Rachel was likely to stay with us for some unspecified amount of time, and if I didn''t miss my guess she''d probably be attending school with us. Oh, who was I kidding. I was a teenage manga protagonist, and she was the love interest. Of course she was going to be attending my school. Hell, she was definitely going to end up in at least one of my classes, no two ways around it.


    Well, I''d made my choice there and would just have to live with it. In retrospect, it wasn''t that surprising Rachel ended up with us longer term. One instance of lucky lechery did not a rom-com make.


    And that brought to mind something that had been bugging me, but which I''d had trouble putting me finger on: if I thought about it, the pacing for this manga plot just felt¡ªwell, off. I mean, boy meets girl, boy sees girl in her skivvies¡ªthat progression was tried and true, sure. But usually things would progress a lot faster. There''d been what, several weeks between when I met Rachel and when she moved in with us? And then another two weeks where we were living together, but barely interacting despite that.


    It was just way too slow, unless the manga was quietly skipping swathes if time. How did that work, though? Was my life controlled when it was time for sexy shenanigans or whatever and then mine to do with as I pleased in the interim? I really wished I had some method to gain feedback or further concrete insight into what was going on, but I hadn''t been able to break through the fourth wall again. Which left me with nothing but rampant speculation, and that could only take me so far.


    Okay, backing up. Clearly keeping me in close proximity to Rachel was important for whatever narrative was developing, but if I was afforded decent spans of time that were free from the author''s influence perhaps I could find a way to fight back or subvert the plot somehow.


    I''d tried contacting Emily a few times already in hopes of nudging my life back on track, but that had been a dead end. She was still giving me cold shoulder, and if she wouldn''t respond to me there was no way I could try to finagle a long-distance relationship. There went my best idea for throwing a spanner in the works, and at this point I was actually getting pretty angry with Emily. Ignoring me like this despite my repeated attempts to get in contact was incredibly hurtful and callous¡ªcertainly not a behavior I would ever have expected from her.


    Well if that were a bust there had to be something else I could do. Forcing Rachel out of the house wasn''t an option; I didn''t want to be someone I''m not just in hopes of spiting my author, and I truly did feel bad for her situation.


    Alright, this was getting me nowhere. Maybe I needed to approach things from another angle. I certainly was suffering from a dearth of solid information, but what was my end goal, anyway?


    Basically, I just wanted the freedom to live my own life. I didn''t have any problems with Rachel, per se. Hell, if I were honest under different circumstances I would have found her extremely attractive. No, my problem was that I viscerally despised being pushed around by some unknowable outside force.


    In that case maybe I just needed to treat Rachel like family. I was pretty sure that if she had moved in with us under normal circumstances, I would have done just that; seinen rom-coms virtually never dealt with family relationships to any extent that I could recall. Maybe if I treat Rachel like a family member the manga will just fizzle out and end. Wouldn''t be the first manga with a short run because it couldn''t hold its audience''s attention.


    And with that I had a tentative plan, and Rachel had a temporary home.


    I was so na?ve. And all it took to shatter my temporary illusion of control was a simple shopping trip.

 Harem Scarem: 008

    Harem Scarem: 008


    It seemed so benign when my mom suggested it. "Hey, Peanut, want to come to the mall? Vickie, Rachel, and I are going shopping for some school supplies."


    I gave it some thought. Mom had bought clothes for me recently, but I was pretty sure I''d outgrown my exercise clothes, and I had a required P.E. elective I was taking first semester. Plus, I honestly could use a trip out of the house. I was going a little stir crazy with all the sitting at home I''d engaged in this summer. "Sure, Mom."


    After Mom finished corralling everyone, we all piled into the car with me behind the wheel to get a bit more practice for my upcoming driving test, and 15 minutes later we arrived at the Outlet.


    The Outlet is a pretty big mall in our area, whose main claim to fame is a lot more outlet stores than you normally find in a mall (go figure; whoever named the place deserved some sort of award for least creative mall name ever). It''s not my favorite place in the world; the building is setup as a giant circle, and invariably I end up walking the whole thing because the two stores I need are on opposite sides. The food court is also underwhelming; not a whole lot of variety, though maybe that''s more due to our smallish town more than the mall itself. In any case, I usually only come to the Outlet for the King Cinemas that are located just to the east of the main mall complex. That was where Hayden and I suffered through that awful movie, for instance.


    "Let''s see," said Mom, as we approached one of the mall''s entryways. "I''m going to take Vickie and find her some clothes. You both need clothes for P.E., right? Xavier, why don''t you show Rachel the way to Big 6 and we''ll all meet up later?"


    Great, alone time with Rachel. Although I guess as long as I avoided changing rooms, I could probably dodge most of the standard "shopping with a girl" manga hijinks. "Sure, Mom. This way, Rachel."


    We made it to Big 6 without issue, but the peace only lasted up until we started browsing. Big 6 has an extensive clothing section, with discrete areas for men''s and women''s clothes. However, there is only one clearance area, with both men and women''s clothing on racks side-by-side. So of course that''s where we ended up first. I was going through a rack of sweat pants, while behind me and one rack down Rachel was checking the sizing on shirts, and I wasn''t paying particular attention to my surroundings when¡ª


    "Hey Xavier! I thought that was you!"


    I looked up, and there was Jillian.


    Jill and I grew up in the same neighborhood; she lives about a block and a half away from our house. I don''t know if you''d call us childhood friends, at least not in the way that manga always seem to mean it: we were never attached at the hip and barring the occasional birthday party we''ve never spent any significant time in one another''s houses. However, we did play together a lot because Jill has always been something of a tomboy and was quite capable of keeping up with¡ªand in some cases outstripping¡ªthe boys in the neighborhood when it came to sports. These days we aren''t particularly close. We didn''t share any classes last year, so I only spent time with her during track and field. Growing up, Jill was always taller than me, but over the last couple years I''ve gained a few inches on her. She has medium brown hair that she keeps closely trimmed to hang down near the top of her neck and is one of those girls who is either naturally trending towards flat-chested, or just constantly wears a sports bra. Hard to call, honestly.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    "So what''s up, Xavier?" said Jill, walking up to me. "How''s your summer going?"


    "Oh, things are¡ªgood," I said. "What about you?"


    "Ah, I''m great. I''ve been doing a ton of training with the cross-country team, so I guess not too exciting? But better than sitting around the house all day, eh? So what are you up to today?"


    "Oh, we''re just doing some shopping for school."


    "We?" said Jill, raising an eyebrow.


    Rachel looked over at us from down the aisle and waved.


    "That''s Rachel," I said. "She''s Seamus Doyle''s cousin, but she''s staying with us for a while. Rachel, this is Jillian. She lives a block and a half away from us in the opposite direction of Dykstra Park."


    "Hello," said Rachel in her Ms. Demure mode. "It''s nice to meet you."


    "Eh?" said Jill. "You guys are living together?" She had a look on her face that I couldn''t interpret. In other words, it wasn''t rowdy competitiveness, the crushing disappointment of defeat, or a cocky grin, which were her three normal modes of expression so far as I was aware.


    "Yes, the Brocks were kind enough to take me in. The Doyles don''t have a lot of room to spare."


    "Ah, is that right? Cool, cool. Well, I suppose I''ll let you get back to¡­shopping? And I actually need to, uh, shop, too. Over there. I''ll see you at school, Xavier!" And Jill was off, practically jogging down the aisle. She''s such a weirdo.


    "Well, that''s Jill for you," I said. "Never walks if she can run."


    "Hmm," said Rachel, and turned back to rifling through the clearance racks. "You two grew up together?"


    "Well, in the same neighborhood, yeah," I said. Hm, there was a shirt that might work. I pulled it off the rack and held it up to my chest to eyeball the sizing. "Jill''s big into sports, so we played a lot of soccer and basketball and stuff together growing up. That''s right, are you planning to go out for any sports?"


    "No," said Rachel.


    "Not the athletic type, huh? I only do track and field, which is where I see Jill the most these days."


    "Mm, I don''t dislike sports, really," said Rachel. "They''re fun enough in P.E., I guess, but I''d always have to move before I could participate in more than a single season, so it''s never been worth it to do any sort of organized sport for me."


    "Ah, right. Well, you could do track and field if you wanted. Almost everything in track is individual, so as long as you can run or jump or something it''s not like you have to worry about getting practice as a team."


    Rachel glanced my way and smiled. "Maybe I will," she said.


    After a bit more searching, we were both able to find decent exercise clothes for P.E. Thankfully the men''s and women''s changing rooms were on opposite sides of the clothing section, so I dodged any potential lucky lechery.


    We checked out¡ªRachel using a credit card, which I wasn''t expecting¡ªand exited Big 6 together.


    "Where to next?" I asked.


    Rachel blushed a bit. "Well, I noticed an Elizabeth''s Secret on the way here that I''d like to visit¡­"


    "And I''ll leave you to that," I said hastily. No way was I going to walk into that particular trope-laden situation with eyes open. Also I always hated getting dragged to Elizabeth''s Secret by Sasha, and saw no reason to relive old trauma when I had a choice. "I think I''ll go grab a snack. Text or call me or Mom if you need anything, and we can meet up in a bit."


    "Okay," said Rachel. "Enjoy!"


    "Same to you, I guess." And we parted ways, Rachel heading back the way we had originally come in as I peeled off to head around the ring of the mall in the other direction.


    To be honest, I wasn''t all that hungry. I thought I remembered there being a Samba Juice down near the food court, though, and that sounded like a decent way to kill time while everyone finished up their clothes shopping.


    I was about halfway around the near corner of the mall when I ran across three assholes hassling a woman. And like an idiot I paused.

 Harem Scarem: 009

    Harem Scarem: 009


    It''s mainly a shoujo thing, but there''s an incredibly common trope in manga in which two or more delinquents surround a lone woman and try to pressure her into accompanying them¡­somewhere. I''ve never been clear what the end goal is: do delinquents in Japan try to pressure random women into sex? It''s a little weird. Additionally, there''s a high probability that if some random guy walks up and says, "Hey, this is my girlfriend"¡ªtrue or not¡ªthe delinquents will back off. Because someone who is trying to isolate a woman in order to extort sex from her is going to care if she has a boyfriend? It makes literally no sense to me, and I''m honestly curious if this sort of behavior is actually common in Japan, or if it''s just one of those things that happens in manga.


    In any case, while I''m sure there are all sorts of scuzzy people on this side of the water, too, I''ve never seen someone in real life trying to bully a woman in that way.


    Until now.


    There were three of them, all of whom looked to be older than me by a few years, and they were clustered around a woman who was sitting at one of the tables arranged down the middle of the concourse in this particular part of the mall. I couldn''t see her very well, thanks to Hooligans One, Two, and Three.


    "Hey, babe, how about you come with us? We promise you''ll have a good time," said Stooge #1.


    Ugh, seriously, this was straight out of a manga in all the worst ways.


    "No, thank you," said the woman. "I''m waiting for someone."


    "Aw, you can ditch him," wheedled Stooge #2. "You''ll have a way better afternoon with us."


    The woman was silent. Maybe she was opting for staring at them in hopes they realized they were hassling her in the middle of a busy mall and came to their senses. It didn''t work.


    Meanwhile, I was agonizing. This was clearly a manga event and given that I was the only manga protagonist around¡ªat least so far as I was aware¡ªthat meant it was aimed at me. In the normal order of things, I would have walked straight past these three without pausing. Their posture and clothing practically oozed belligerence, and I''m not a confrontational sort. Plus, it frankly wasn''t my problem, and if the woman refused to accede to their demands it was unlikely anything would happen given the public setting.


    However, the fact that it was a manga event meant that if I interfered I had a very good idea of how things would play out: I''d be the hero, the woman would be grateful, and¡ªwait just a second. I knew from her voice that this woman wasn''t Rachel (also I''d seen Rachel walking the other direction, so unless she could teleport that was obviously impossible), but Rachel was my love interest. Why was I running across this scenario for some stranger? And¡ªthe hoodlums shifted enough that I caught a glimpse of her face¡ªa woman who was obviously older than me, at that?


    I was getting very uneasy about this, but as I stood there dithering the three men were getting more aggressive. Stooge #1 reached forward and grabbed the woman''s arm.


    Alright, fine. I''d play this out, if only because I hated seeing someone targeted for nothing more than plotline purposes and I wanted to know if the sneaking suspicion I''d just had was correct. The only question was how to approach¡ªpretending to be her boyfriend was classic, but I just couldn''t believe that would put anyone as stupid as these three obviously were off. There was no way I could physically intimidate them, even if they didn''t have numbers on their side; I couldn''t see any mall security nearby; and¡ªhmm, actually, maybe I could bluff them into backing off. Now that I thought about it, I did know the right way to deal with a situation like this.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    I took a deep breath and stepped forward. Operation White Knight was a go, nervousness be damned.


    I stopped just out of reach of Stooge #1. "Hey," I said, a little louder than I thought was necessary. "She said she wasn''t interested."


    Stooge #3 looked my way and sneered. "Piss off."


    "Are you three deaf? She said she wasn''t interested, so perhaps you should be the ones to piss off."


    That got the attention of the other two, and Stooge #1 let go of the woman as the three turned to me. Stooge #3 took a couple steps my way and loomed a bit. "You want me to mess you up? Get lost, little boy."


    I wanted to back up out of range so bad. Instead I forced myself to stare Stooge #3 right in the eyes and tried to ignore my nerves which were saying in no uncertain terms that I needed to exit this situation immediately. It''s okay, fight or flight response. I''ve got the Power of Manga backing me up here.


    "You know," I said, "I took a class on what to do when some asshole physically threatens you in public." That was a lie; Sasha took the class, though she very enthusiastically shared the contents of it with the rest of us over the course of the next week. "What do you suppose will happen if I suddenly start screaming at the top of my lungs for people to call the cops? You know, since we''re standing in the middle of a crowded mall."


    Stooge #3 paled and backed up half a step as he and his buddies looked around. Sure enough, there weren''t a lot of people near enough to overhear us at normal volume, but there were plenty passing by and pointedly not looking our way. I also noticed at least one shop clerk standing near the entrance to their store looking this way.


    Evidently the same occurred to the Stooges.


    "Shit," grumbled Stooge #2. "Let''s just go."


    "Fine," spat Stooge #1. "You watch yourself, asshole." The three strode past me, Stooge #3 making sure to bash his shoulder into mine, making me stumble. Great. I really hoped I wasn''t going to run into those three anytime soon. Picking fights with adults who can wipe the floor with me is not in my wheelhouse.


    On the other hand¡­event cleared! I turned toward the woman I''d helped, who had stood up from her seat and was walking my way.


    Ooookay, well now I knew why those three idiots were trying to pick her up: the woman was sex on legs. Honestly, I had to admire the balls on those three. She was so far out of their league it was like three tattered tomcats trying to hit on a wild tigress.


    The woman was pretty short¡ªa good head shorter than me¡ªand looked to be of Mexican descent. Her hair was such a dark brown it was practically black, except when the light hit it just right and gave it chocolate highlights. She was wearing form-fitting clothes that accentuated a classically hourglass figure, and although she didn''t have an obvious sway to her hips or anything the way she moved was indescribably erotic. As I''d noticed before, she was definitely older than me; at a guess I''d put her in her late twenties or early thirties, though I''m terrible at placing a person''s age.


    I admit: as soon as she started moving toward me I froze up completely.


    "Well aren''t you the chivalrous one," the woman purred. She had a surprisingly deep voice for someone so short. There was a distinct quirk to the corner of her mouth which made me think she might be mocking me, but honestly I was still having trouble forming coherent thoughts and didn''t come up with a single response.


    The woman eyed me, then laid a hand on my arm. Ack! Warning! Sex goddess critically close! "I don''t have much time, but let me buy you a drink in thanks," she said, nodding across the concourse at the nearby Stirbucks.


    "No, uh¡ª" I cogently managed, but the woman was already leading the way and like a snake tracking a charmer''s flute I naturally followed in her wake.


    "What would you like?" asked the woman as we entered the Stirbucks. Uh, you? Except you''re likely twice my age.


    "Ah, um, a green tea lemonade?" I hazarded. Wasn''t that what I always ordered, on the few times I''d visited a Stirbucks? I think so, at least. Answer unclear, try again later.


    "Coming right up," she said. Was I a dirty bastard for thinking that sounded kind of like a come on? Yes, yes I was.


    It took an effort, but out of sheer self-preservation, I avoided watching the woman stride to the counter and forced myself to take a seat near the front window. Man, was I glad I stared down those hoodlums. But yeesh, was that ever a terrible decision.


    After placing an order and gesturing my way, the woman returned. As she walked toward me she checked a small watch on the underside of her wrist.


    "I''m really sorry, but I''m not going to have any time to spend with you," she said. "I''m meeting someone in a few minutes, and those wannabe pickup artists almost made me late already. Thank you again for standing up for me."


    "Er, no, it wasn''t a big deal," I managed.


    "Well, I appreciated it anyway," she said with a smile. She started to move past me, but paused to put her hand on my shoulder and lean over. "Thanks, Xavier," she said. "See you at school." And she was gone out the door.


    Wait, WHAT?!

 Harem Scarem: 010

    Harem Scarem: 010


    I tried to jump out of my chair, but somehow managed to trip over my own foot and barely saved myself from face planting by grabbing hold of the table in front of me. When I looked up, the woman was almost out of sight down the concourse, but I could still catch her if¡ª


    "Here''s your green tea lemonade!" chirped a voice, and I turned my head to discover one of the baristas standing there with my drink in hand. She had a pleasant smile on her face, and¡ªholy back pain, Batman, the young woman was stacked! Evidently her name was Paula, which I absolutely did not discover thanks to staring at her apron''s nametag where it was prominently shoved forward by her ample chest.


    "Uh, right¡­" I managed, and looked out the window again only to discover that I''d lost sight of the sex-bomb. Dammit! Things were not going my way today.


    "So what are you up to today?" asked the oddly friendly barista as she set my drink down where I had been sitting and pulled the chair from across the table around to the side to sit immediately next to me.


    I stared down at her in confusion. Why on earth was she sitting down? And why move the chair? Also, cleavage.


    For lack of anything better to do, and to aid myself in avoiding staring awkwardly at¡­places¡­I sat down and picked up my "save the sexy damsel" reward. Blech, I''d forgotten to ask for it without sweetener. I swear Stirbucks gets some sort of kickback from the companies selling dialysis equipment or something.


    "Well?" pressed Paula.


    She was certainly persistent. "I''m doing some shopping for school."


    "Oh yeah? Where are you going? You''re high school age, right?"


    I pointedly looked over at the counter. "Shouldn''t you be working?"


    "Amaya has it covered," she said airily, waving it off. "Besides it''s dead in here right now anyway."


    Couldn''t deny that; I was one of the few people here, and the only one who looked like I''d ordered my drink less than thirty minutes ago.


    "So?" she said. "What high school?"


    I guess it didn''t hurt to talk to her for a bit; I''d lost track of the mystery lady anyway, and didn''t really want to schlep this drink around. "I''m a sophomore at Alburn High this year."


    "No way, really?" she said with excitement. "I''ll be a senior there! Maybe we''ll see one another! I''m Paula, by the way."


    "Uh, yeah," I said, unintentionally glancing down at her chest again. "I gathered."This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    "Oh ho?" she said, leaning in. "Is the little underclassman already crushing on his beautiful upperclassman from last year?" Then she noticed where my gaze was directed. "¡­or yeah, it''s on my name tag. Phew, close one! I wasn''t looking forward to breaking it to you that I''d never noticed you before today."


    My face was burning, and I looked out at the concourse once again. What was this girl''s deal? We''d never met before, and here she was teasing me for no reason.


    Paula waited a beat, but when I sipped my drink without responding she scooted her chair even closer to me and leaned in. "So tell me," she said with a conspiratorial murmur. "Do you typically go around rescuing beautiful women from being hassled on your days out shopping?"


    "Ugh, you saw that?" I said, leaning slightly away from her. She was way too close!


    She grinned at me. Was she some sort of sadist? Because she sure seemed to be reveling in my discomfort. "Like I said, it''s dead in here. Not much to do other than people watch. Now spill it. What did you say to those punks, anyway? I''m super curious here."


    "No way," I said. "I need to meet up with my family, so I really should get going." I gulped down the rest of my overly-sweet lemonade and went to stand.


    "Aw, come on," said Paula, placing her hand on mine. "You can spend a few minutes with me, can''t you?"


    I jerked away from her, almost stumbling again in my effort to stand up quicker. "No, sorry, I really have to go. Bye!"


    "See you at school!" Paula called merrily after me as I booked it out of Stirbucks, which made me flinch. I decided to cut my losses and didn''t look back, merely waving back over my shoulder. Nothing good was going to come of sticking around; she''d clearly just find some other way to torment me.


    <hr>


    I strode down the concourse, barely noticing the people I was walking past. These weird coincidences absolutely had to be manga-related somehow. I had the sinking feeling that I knew what they all meant, of course, but I didn''t want to admit it. I mean, encountering this many high-spec girls in such a short span of time? There was only one conclusion to draw from that¡ªbut no, I wasn''t even going to think it. No way, no way, no way.


    And speaking of high specs, who the hell was that Hispanic woman? I hadn''t had a chance to really think it over since she ditched me in the coffee shop and Paula interfered, but she had to work at the school. There was no way she was a teenager, and I would have recognized a classmate like that on sight, no question. Plus she knew my name! Truly, that was the most disturbing thing.


    I just couldn''t think of any short, Hispanic adults that looked anything like her. Actually, about the only person I could think of who was roughly the right height was Ms. Cari?o, the drama teacher; but even there, she was a good ten years older than this woman appeared to be, and about as far from a sex goddess as you could possibly get. Was it maybe someone in the administration; a secretary or similar? That could possibly explain her knowledge of my name.


    But even so, I could swear I would have recognized someone like that! I mean, I was distracted and practically aroused just thinking back, there was no way¡ª


    Wham! I stumbled backwards a step, and the girl I''d just run into full on face-planted. Oh, lovely. The obligatory manga panty shot. Looked like my lucky color for panties was pink, and I''d just chalked myself up a second luckily lecherous moment.


    "Ow!" she cried, whirling around to face me as she pushed herself to her feet. "What the hell?!"


    Three things immediately stood out to me: the girl in front of me was incredibly angry, petite to the point that¡ªhad she not been white¡ªshe would have blended right into a group of Japanese school girls, and she was sporting a hairstyle that I''d thought no one outside of elementary school and manga actually wore.


    Twin-tails. I''d just inadvertently ploughed down a girl with twin-tails. Probably the only person over the age of six in the entire city with this particular hairstyle, and I had to literally run into her.


    I put my face in my hands. "Seriously?!" What was with today?

 Harem Scarem: 011

    Harem Scarem: 011


    So, twin-tails. Gather your hair up into two bunches, each a few inches above your ears. Pop a couple scrunchies or similar on there, forming a double pair of pigtails. Congratulations, you now have twin-tails, and look like a preschooler. Unless you''re in a manga, in which case you''re probably a love interest for some self-insert protagonist. Or maybe the innocent girl next door. Or maybe just some random background character, because twin-tails are everywhere.


    If I hadn''t already known I was in a manga, the girl in front of me would clued me in all on her own. Besides the brunette twin-tails, she was sporting a short skirt and thigh-high stockings of some sort. Hell, was she seriously just lifted straight out of a manga? Given that she was petite and not all that well-developed, she probably could have stood in for a loli character, too.


    Don''t even get me started on lolis. Seriously, I''m not going there.


    In any case, I was being stared down by an archetype. An absurdly furious archetype.


    <hr>


    "You jerk!" she ground out. "What is your problem?"


    Okay, so I deserved that. I had knocked her over and then responded to her outrage in a wholly inappropriate way.


    I took my hands away from face. "I''m really sorry. I wasn''t looking where I was going, which is inexcusable. Are you hurt?"


    "No, I''m alright. But don''t think that gets you off the hook! What was with that reaction just now?"


    "Look, I''m really sorry. I''ve just been having a bit of a rough day¡­and now I feel like a total idiot."


    The girl glared at me for a bit, before looking away. "Hmph. Well how are you going to make this up to me?"


    "Make this up to you?" I said. I really did not want to get involved with this girl.


    She ignored me. "It''s not like I want your help, but you can show me how to get to V-Mobile. To ease your guilty conscience."


    Oh god. That disingenuous pattern¡­no there was no way. People like that didn''t really exist. "Uh, so you''re lost and need help finding the V-Mobile store?"


    "No way!" she exclaimed. "I''d be fine on my own, but you did walk through me like I''m invisible, so this is just a way you can make it up to me."


    "What are you, eight? You could just ask for help like a normal person instead of making up excuses."


    She drew herself up and gave me a frosty death glare whose impact was rather lessened by the pigtails sprouting out the sides of her head. "I am fourteen, thank you very much. Now are you going to make it up to me or not." It wasn''t a question.


    "Fine!" I said. Man, was this girl annoying. "V-Mobile is through here, I think." I started off down one of the narrow hallways that allowed cutting across the center of the mall without traversing the concourse all the way around, but stopped and turned when I realized that the annoying manga archetype wasn''t with me.


    "Not that I really care, but aren''t you going to tell me your name? You''re pretty rude, huh?"If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I stared at her and did my best not to scowl. I''m not sure I succeeded. "I''m Xavier."


    "Then lead on, Xavier," she said with a haughty wave of her hand. "And I''m Samantha by the way, thanks for asking. Not that I care if you know my name, of course."


    I caught myself grinding my teeth. "Through here," I managed. Every time she opened her mouth I was more and more sure, but maybe she was just still angry about getting knocked over and decided to take it out on me in a weird way. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. I certainly wasn''t desperately deluding myself about her basic personality. I just didn''t know her very well and we met under awful circumstances.


    Fortunately, I''d remembered the location of the V-Mobile store correctly and we arrived there in short order.


    "Okay, here you are," I said and turned to leave. Before I made it a step I was pulled up short as Samantha grabbed my sleeve. "What?" Geez, this girl was irritating.


    "Um," she said. She looked conflicted.


    "What are you doing, Xavier?" said a voice to the side. Vickie was sitting on a wooden bench in the middle of the concourse, surrounded by bags. Evidently she and Mom had been busy while I was out being accosted by strangers.


    I shook Samantha off and checked our surroundings. "Where''s Mom?"


    "In the bathroom," said Vickie. "Who''s this?"


    "I''m Samantha. Are you Xavier''s sister?"


    "Yep! I''m Vickie. What are you two doing?"


    "Xavier pushed me down, so I made him show me how to get to V-Mobile to apologize."


    What was I, some grade school playground bully? "Hey now¡ª" I started, but Vickie cut me off.


    "How could you do that to such a cute girl?"


    "Excuse me?" I said.


    "Right?" exclaimed Samantha. "Isn''t he the worst?"


    We just met, you little¡ª


    "So are you getting a new phone?" said Vickie.


    Samantha colored. "Um, yeah. It''s my first, so I''m not sure what to get, though."


    "You, too?" said Vickie. "My parents haven''t let me get one, either. I mean, I''m thirteen already! I''m not a little girl!"


    "That''s what I kept saying! They didn''t think I needed it until I hit high school, but how am I supposed to stay in touch with my friends? They''re stuck in the last century, and now here I am and I don''t even know what to pick!" She hurriedly glanced over at me. "Not that I need any help picking one out or anything."


    Vickie pointed to me with an imperious finger. "Xavier, watch the bags. I''m going to help Samantha choose a phone."


    "Just go already," I said. I was exhausted, and the sooner we could get this farce over the sooner I could go home.


    I sat down where Vickie had been camped out, and she and Samantha happily headed into V-Mobile. I wasn''t quite sure how that was supposed to work; how was Samantha going to buy a phone without a parent to add her to their plan? Whatever, it was none of my business, and after my experience with the hoodlums there was no way I was sticking my neck out for a complete stranger, because it was obvious this whole day had been nothing but a string of manga coincidences.


    The sexy older lady. The boobalicious elder schoolmate. Ugh, I hadn''t really thought about it, but even before then I''d had a chance encounter with someone who could arguably be slotted into the "childhood friend" archetype.


    And finally, though I was still loathe to admit it, the tsundere. Moreover, the twin-tailed, thigh-high wearing tsundere.


    <hr>


    Tsundere is a portmanteau of two distinctly Japanese onomatopoeia phrases: tsun tsun (the sound of someone turning away in disgust) and dere dere (the sound of someone being lovey-dovey). The idea is that it describes a character who is initially hostile or dismissive, but who has a softer side once you get to know them. In practice, it''s usually an incredibly annoying character who is utterly incapable of being honest about their feelings.


    I honestly don''t understand the appeal of tsundere characters, but they''re so widespread that they obviously speak to some common desire in otaku or Japanese culture. Maybe the "she''s only sweet to me" thing is a widely shared fantasy or something.


    In any case, Samantha was a triple threat: tsundere, twin-tails, and thigh-high stockings meant she was basically an otaku wet dream personified. What I couldn''t figure was why; it was like she was intentionally trying to play out a manga stereotype using a bunch of attributes that just don''t occur in real life. Really puzzling. I''d probably have to just avoid her if I ran across her again, though, because one thing was glaringly obvious after today: I wasn''t simply in a seinen rom-com.


    No, I was in a seinen rom-com harem.

 Harem Scarem: 012

    Harem Scarem: 012


    What''s better than being pursued by a single gorgeous girl? Why, being pursued by a whole crowd of them, of course!


    Thus was born the harem sub-genre in manga. Harems show up all over the place, and in all sorts of genres (usually the ones that are focused on wish fulfillment; power fantasies, romance-oriented shounen or seinen stories, and the like); and the "reverse harem"¡ªwhich is exactly what it sounds like¡ªis decently represented, as well, for those who prefer a female lead.


    Of course, I could be wrong about being stuck in a harem, but the fact that I''d run into no less than four different girls as soon as I left the house suggested strongly that I was headed for Harem-ville. After all, "coincidence" in manga is pronounced "plot device", and all of those interactions¡ªwith the possible exception of Jill¡ªfelt like introductory scenes. Exhausting introductory scenes, at that. I was really not looking forward to¡ª


    "Oh, there you are, Xavier," said my mom. I opened my eyes to discover her moving several of the bags currently occupying the bench with me to the floor prior to sitting down. "Where''s your sister?"


    "Vickie''s in V-Mobile picking out a mobile phone."


    "She''s what?" Mom''s eyes instantly sharpened. "Did your father¡ª"


    Uh oh. I''d been meaning to give Vickie some grief and maybe tease Mom, but I''d flipped her switch. Not good. "No, no, I mean Vickie is helping a¡ªfriend, I guess."


    "Ah, good." Mom sat back and the look on her face relaxed into normality. "I just heard from Rachel, and she doesn''t have anything else she needs, so she''ll be joining us shortly. Do you need to pick anything else up?"


    "Heck no! Let''s go home!"


    Mom eyed me but declined to comment on my eagerness to get as far from the mall as possible. "You''ve got your gym clothes, then?"


    "Yep, I''m good to go."


    A few minutes later, Rachel joined us, Mom extracted Vickie from V-Mobile, and I drove us all home.


    <hr>


    As soon as we arrived, I shut myself in my room, threw my bag of new gym clothes under my desk, and started to pace.


    A harem. A god damn, slice-of-life, romantic comedy harem. Just my luck to get stuck in one of my least favorite genres. I mean, I get why someone would want to be fawned over by beautiful women. Being propositioned by that nameless older woman or Paula had obvious appeal¡ªno, stop it! Down that road lay insanity. Letting the author lead me around by my libido was a short road to hell, since ironically while harem protagonists may often end up in sexy situations, they never, ever get to consummate them in any way. Well, outside of hentai and more extreme ecchi series, I suppose, but those typically have some absurd reason that forces physical intimacy within the first few pages. I was cohabiting with a girl who I''d seen in her underwear. Yeah, this was way too clean for hentai.


    In any case, a harem only functions so long as the protagonist is unable or unwilling to commit in any demonstrative way to a particular girl.


    Which I guess meant that I had one easy way to try and wiggle out of this situation: I just had to try my hardest to get close to only one girl in my harem. Odds were good if I was able to get a single girl to commit to being my girlfriend, the manga would end and I''d be free to live my normal life.


    One problem with that, though: I didn''t want to date any of these girls. I wanted to date Emily, dammit, and fake-dating someone felt horrible. I guess if they were just characters in a story, I didn''t have to care about their feelings¡ªbut no, down that road lay madness. I''d lived a normal life for almost sixteen years before I got stuck in this stupid manga and my life got infested with trope-driven coincidences. Presumably once the manga ended, I would go back to living a normal life, and everyone around me was just as much a victim of the manga as I was. If this experience made me into some conniving bastard, I''d have failed myself just as badly as if I gave up trying to influence my own life and tried to play a good little Gary Stu harem protagonist in hopes that the manga would end on its own.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    So scratch the "aggressively court a single girl" strategy for now. What else did that leave me?


    I''d initially been planning on treating Rachel like family, or maybe just avoiding any sort of intimate physical or emotional encounter with her in hopes that the manga would fizzle out on its own. With a harem coalescing around me, though, that was far less feasible. The more girls involved, the more chance for coincidences to push me in directions I didn''t want to go. Heck, the trip to the mall today was an excellent example of that at work. I felt like a pinball that had been given a thorough tour of the pinball table.


    I suppose I could try to drive the girls off somehow. Maybe by being really mean or dismissive? That seemed dangerous, though. Even if the harem only consisted of Rachel, Jill, Paula, Samantha, and Ms. Sexy I''d still be alienating the social circles surrounding all four if I started acting like an asshole towards them. That might get me out of the manga, but the cost would be prohibitive since I wouldn''t get my normal life back at all. I didn''t want to end up some pariah; especially not with three more years of high school ahead of me.


    But what did that leave me with? Were there any positive aspects to being in a harem rather than a typical rom-com?


    Perhaps there were, now that I thought about it more. For one thing, I was basically neutral territory now, and would likely remain that way for some time. I admit, I find Rachel really attractive; if she had remained the only one competing for my affections, the temptation to just let the manga run its course would be a lot harder to resist.


    Additionally, when I came right down to it, I still didn''t have a good feeling for how much control the manga storyline had over my life. Obviously the author could arrange truly unbelievable "coincidences", and I suspected that they were able to influence me subtly by drawing my attention to specific things. My awareness of Rachel''s feelings at several points had seemed unusual to me, for instance. I still felt like I was basically myself, though. Sure, I made a mistake when I thought I could save Ms. Sexy a bit of hassling from those three idiots, but I acted in a way that was consistent with who I''d been prior to getting manga-ized. Heck, I didn''t realize she was Ms. Sexy until after the three had run off.


    Given all that, it was possible that having multiple girls vying for my attention could provide an opportunity for me to do some minor experimentation to try and determine the extent of my personal power versus the power of the manga story.


    I collapsed on my bed. I was feeling a bit better about my situation now. Still exhausted? Yes. Still angry? No doubt about that. But maybe a little less helpless. I really hated passively reacting to everything, and now that I had a better of idea of what I was working against maybe I could gain a foothold and fight this stupid manga.


    As if to mock me, my door opened and Vickie stuck her head in. "Whatcha doing, onii-chan?"


    I bolted straight upright. "MOOOOM!"


    Vickie stared at me in abject shock. "What is wrong with you?!"


    Here''s the thing: Mom''s a full-time housewife, so you''d think that she would be the one to defuse fights between us siblings. But despite working long hours outside the home, Dad''s actually the one who deals with the fallout for most of our confrontations.


    See, the thing about Mom is: when she gets angry, impatient, or otherwise off her center she is scary as shit. All three of us learned very early on in our lives that it was far preferable to abort our fights early and wait for Dad to come home than to provoke Mom.


    Vickie probably knew that calling me onii-chan¡ªa Japanese term that translates loosely to "older brother"¡ªwould bug me. By calling Mom into things, though, I''d escalated things straight to DEFCON 1.


    I felt slightly guilty about that now that I thought about it, but quashed the feeling ruthlessly. There was no way I was going to allow my little sister into my harem, and unlike my friends at school I could happily take the scorched earth approach with her without fearing long-term repercussions. She''d be unhappy with me for a while, but we''d survived that in the past and would again.


    Mom ghosted up next to Vickie while the two of us were still gearing up for a good throw-down. "What''s going on, you two?"


    "Noth¡ª" started Vickie, but I cut her off.


    "Vickie called me onii-chan!"


    If looks could kill, I''d be collapsing into multiple bloody pieces right about now. "I was just joking," Vickie managed to grind out.


    Mom''s face went completely flat. Oh shit. I didn''t think this would trigger her like that. I figured she''d just laugh it off, and Vickie would know not to try acting like a manga character in future.


    Mom grabbed Vickie''s shoulder and leaned down. I couldn''t see her face, but Vickie went from furious to terrified in no time flat.


    "Never. Again." Letting go of Vickie''s shoulder with a push that sent her stumbling back a half step, Mom spun around and stalked down the hall to the stairs.


    Vickie shot me a look of complete betrayal and slunk away rubbing her shoulder. Mom must have really had a grip on her. As soon as I heard her door shut quietly down the hall, I moved over and eased my own closed. No one slams doors in our household when Mom is feeling upset.


    That was a little weird, and I was having trouble calming down myself. Even when it''s not aimed at me, Mom angry sends me straight into fight-or-flight mode. On the plus side, I do believe I successfully excluded Vickie from my harem.


    Because while Japan might be fine with treating blood relations as acceptable targets of sexual desire, it sure as hell wasn''t happening in my story.

 Harem Scarem: 013

    Harem Scarem: 013


    Another week and a half went by without much of note happening. I hung out with Hayden once, read some books by English authors to give me a break from the ludicrous amount of manga I''d consumed over the summer, and tried to avoid pissing Vickie off (which was easy, because for the bulk of the week she did her best to avoid me completely and when we did cross paths she studiously ignored me).


    And just like that, the start of the school year arrived.


    <hr>


    I slouched against a nearby fence at the bus stop, Rachel bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet nearby. I hadn''t talked to her much aside from standard pleasantries since the trip to the shopping mall, so I was having a hard time thinking of something I could say to distract her from her evident nervousness. Oh well. Probably better for me if I kept my distance a bit, anyway, and from what little I''d seen I didn''t imagine she''d have trouble fitting into whatever group of friends she tried to join.


    Evidently she got sick of jumping in place, though, because she turned my way. "What''s your schedule, Xavier?"


    "Mm, let me check." I pulled out the sheet of paper I''d received in the mail the week prior. "I''ve got Japanese 1 first period, Classic Literature with Mr., uh, Kaczkowski? I have no idea how to pronounce that. Then P.E.¡ªugh, right after lunch¡ªand finally Pre-Calculus 1."


    My school¡ªAlburn High School¡ªuses a block schedule, which means I only have four classes to worry about each semester, but each class lasts about an hour and a half.


    "Oh, I''m in that Classic Literature class, too! Who''s your teacher for Pre-Calculus?"


    "Ms. Caldwell."


    "Looks like we''re sharing two classes, then!"


    Thanks, Manga Gods, didn''t see that one coming.


    Before I had to formulate any sort of response, the bus coughed, grumbled, and choked its way up, and we dutifully trooped up the steps.


    You know those teen rom-coms where the protagonist gets on the bus with a beautiful girl in tow and every passenger spears him with their eyes? Yeah, I don''t know what universe those people are living in, because as was only right and proper for a bus full of high schoolers we were greeted with complete apathy and the sight of the top of a bunch of teenagers'' heads as they hunched over their phones.


    I found an empty seat midway back, and Rachel slid in along with me. I quirked an eyebrow at her.


    "Mind if I sit with you?" she said in response.


    "Not really, but I''m not exactly Mr. Popular if you''re looking to find a good way to make friends."


    Rachel smiled slightly. "I''m not used to riding a bus. I think I''ll wait until we get to school before I go hunting down any wild high schoolers."


    I shrugged and settled back.


    "Mind telling me how to get to these classes?" she asked after a couple blocks.


    I spent the rest of the trip trying to remember approximately where each classroom on her schedule was located and describing the general layout of the high school to her.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    <hr>


    Alburn High is a three-story brick building located a few blocks away from downtown Alburn. The buses pull into a loop at the west side of the building while those kids who drive park in a big lot at the northeast. The school takes up an entire block north to south, and thanks to the performing arts center (which everyone just calls the PAC), gym, and indoor swimming pool attached to the north-east corner the building is shaped sort of like a fat letter "P" lying on the ground. The grounds take up the rest of the block stretching to the east and are filled with the track surrounding a soccer field, tennis courts, and a baseball field.


    My first class¡ªJapanese 1¨Cwas in room 203, which meant it was on the second floor pretty far toward the north end of the school. I parted ways with Rachel at the front doors, and while she headed right toward the science classrooms to the south I turned left.


    The Japanese classroom had desks arranged around three sides of the room two desks deep, leaving the front and middle of the room clear. I got there with several minutes to spare and picked out a seat near the far corner in the front row. The class slowly filled up until almost all the seats were taken, but I didn''t see anyone I knew. That didn''t surprise me; Hayden was planning to take Spanish for his foreign language credits, and so far as I knew none of my other friends or acquaintances were taking foreign language courses this year.


    About thirty seconds before the bell rang, a vaguely familiar girl rushed into the classroom, took one look around, and planted herself in the seat immediately next to mine.


    "Hello, Xavier," she said breathlessly.


    I stared at her. Why did I recognize her anyway? And how did she know my name?


    "What?" she said. "I didn''t sit here because I wanted to be next to you or anything. It was just the first available seat I saw."


    Oh, so that''s why I recognized her. It was Samantha the tsundere, but without the twin-tails or thigh-high stockings today.


    Before I could say anything, the bell rang. Before the sound had completely died away, the door flew open and a very large woman practically jumped into the room.


    "Hello, hello, hello!" she called with expansive cheer. She snatched a pen and started writing at the far right side of the whiteboard. "My name is Mrs. Shimamoto, and I will be your sensei for this class."


    By the time she was done speaking she had written "Mrs. Shimamoto" vertically down the whiteboard, followed by a string of simple Japanese characters vertically to the left, and then a pair of more complicated characters in a third vertical row.


    "As you can see there are multiple ways to write any Japanese word; here is my name written in romaji, which is a phonetic method for romanizing Japanese words. The second column is hiragana, a set of characters that is also phonetic. Finally, we have my name in kanji, or Chinese characters. There is a third type of characters called katakana, as well, which is used to write foreign loan-words. If my name weren''t Japanese, you would write it in katakana like this." Mrs. Shimamoto added a third column.


    "Welcome to beginning Japanese. Now, how many of you are wishing you''d enrolled in my French course instead?"


    <hr>


    The rest of the period we spent introducing ourselves, learning how to introduce ourselves in Japanese, running through a second round of introductions in a stumbling and embarrassed manner, and then getting some early vocabulary drilled into us by Mrs. Shimamoto.


    As we were packing up our bags immediately before the bell rang, Samantha leaned over to me. "Hey, Xavier, what''s your phone number?"


    I raised an eyebrow at her and waited for the tsundere comment I knew was coming.


    "I mean, I don''t want to contact you, but your sister doesn''t have a phone, right? Just give me your number already! I don''t want to be late for my next class!"


    Samantha really was a walking manga trope. She was also right that being late on the first day would suck if I refused and she kept badgering me, though, so I gave her my number and got out of there. Maybe she truly would only use it to allow her to get in contact with Vickie; the two admittedly had hit it off at the mall.


    Oh right, silly me! You''re officially welcomed to the harem, Samantha. I''ll see you tomorrow.


    Damn it. I know I decided I''d let things run their course initially, but did dealing with the walking tsundere stereotype have to be the way I kick off my mornings?


    If she sends me some mushy emoticon-laden text or something this evening right before bed I might have to punch her tomorrow.

 Harem Scarem: 014

    Harem Scarem: 014


    My locker was on the way, so I dropped off the Japanese workbook Mrs. Shimamoto had handed out near the end of class, then waded my way through the crowds of fellow high schoolers as I made my way to room 216 where Classic Literature was being held. Classic Literature¡ªfollowed by Modern Literature in second semester¡ªis the one required course for sophomores at Alburn High, so although my school doesn''t go in for the whole "home room" thing, our literature class is effectively the sophomore home room. Being electives, the other classes are all a grab bag of sophomore, juniors, and occasionally seniors or freshmen, but Classic Literature is all tenth graders like myself.


    I was one of the first there, and this classroom was set up more normally than my Japanese class had been; all the desks were in rows facing the front. I picked one midway back on the left side and sat down to watch people filter in.


    Of course, since passing periods are the de facto social hour, people didn''t really filter in so much as suddenly flood the classroom about 30 seconds before the bell. Rachel was one of the few people to arrive before the rush, and to my great shock she sat immediately next to me. Oh right, except that wasn''t a shock at all. Manga logic dictates that if your romantic interest isn''t within one seat in a cardinal direction, the earth shall cease to rotate and plants will gain sentience, then subsequently conduct a pogrom against vegetarians. Or something equally implausible and apocalyptic.


    Most of the rest of my classmates were casual acquaintances, at best. The two exceptions were Seamus and his friend Jesse, who both gave me a wave when they sat down on the opposite side of the room.


    The class period itself wasn''t terribly interesting, although apparently "Kaczkowski" is pronounced "kax-KOW-skee". Mr. Kaczkowski is a jovial, medium height guy with a receding hairline who talks a little too loudly and likes to laugh at his own jokes.


    And with second period done, it was time for lunch.


    <hr>


    Alburn High is big enough that they can''t fit the entire school in the cafeteria; heck, they can''t fit even half the school in the cafeteria, so there are a bunch of tables in the wider hallways down near the PAC and gyms to help with the overflow. In order to prevent everyone from going absolutely insane and leaving half the student body without time to get through the lunch line, there are two lunches: Lunch 1 falls immediately after second period, at 11:15, while those in Lunch 2 go to third period first, and then eat lunch at 12:35. Since my third period class was P.E. I would have preferred the later lunch, but my luck wasn''t that good so off to Lunch 1 I went.


    Lunch was one of the most stressful parts of high school during the first part of ninth grade¡ªI''m terrible at interacting with strangers, so until I had a circle of friends and acquaintances finding somewhere to sit was pure torture¡ªbut fortunately by the end of the year I had a routine. I discovered that the tables in the hallways near the PAC were the last to fill since the bulk of the kids wanted to get their lunch in the cafeteria and immediately sit down. Since I almost always bring a lunch from home, I found I could claim a table over by the PAC easily and be joined later by Hayden, Andrea, and a few other drama geeks or acquaintances from the improv club and elsewhere.


    With that in mind, I headed straight downstairs when the bell rang, staked out the table we''d habitually eaten at last year, and shot a text to Hayden to see if he had Lunch 1. A few bites into my sandwich later, he got back to me: he was in Lunch 2. Well, that sucked. I kept an eye peeled for some of my fellow improv participants instead; the drama classroom was a few doors down from the PAC, so they often ate in this area.


    "Oh hey, Xavier, mind if I sit with you?"


    I looked up, and there was Jill, holding a cafeteria tray in one hand, and pulling a chair out across the table without waiting for a reply.


    "Definitely not," I said. "All of these seats are taken by my many adoring fans."


    She''d already sat down. "Thanks! Looks like my friends are all in Lunch 2 this year; figured I''d sit over here since I have gym after lunch, anyway."Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    "Oh?" I said, suspicion raising its ugly head. "Which class?"


    "P.E. with, uh¡­" Jill grabbed a well-creased schedule from her pocket. "¡­Patterson."


    "Looks like we''re classmates," I said. Yep, Jill was definitely in the harem on the childhood friend track.


    Oh crap. Come to think of it, I hadn''t seen anyone I was remotely acquainted with other than Jill at lunch so far, which meant¡­


    "Hello. Jillian, wasn''t it?" Rachel pulled out the chair next to me, before pausing to look my way. "Alright if I join you?" I waved assent.


    "Jill is fine," said Jill.


    Childhood friend: check. Main girl: check.


    "I don''t want to sit with you, but I don''t know anyone else yet so I suppose you''ll just have to be grateful." Samantha plopped down into the chair on my other side. Aaaand, she had twin-tails again, despite looking like a normal person in first period. When did that happen?


    Oh, right; tsundere: check.


    Rachel was imperturbable as ever, but Jill was looking at Samantha like some sort of alien had suddenly joined us and she wasn''t sure if she should be welcoming it or calling the National Guard. Just go straight to the National Guard, Jill. You know you want to.


    There was an awkward silence as Samantha ate a fry and stared around the table. "Well? Aren''t you going to introduce me? What is with you and not introducing people?"


    Don''t tell her to die in a fire. Don''t tell her to die in a fire. "This is Rachel, and that''s Jillian."


    "Just Jill is fine."


    "And this is Samantha from Japanese 1."


    "No, I''m from Cincinnati," said Samantha. "Unfortunately, I am admittedly taking Japanese 1 with this guy. How do you two know him?"


    Rachel glanced quizzically at me, but Jill spoke up. "He lives a couple blocks away from me."


    "And Rachel and I live together," I said.


    "What?!" shrieked Samantha, half standing. Oh yes, that had been worth it. "Oh, you''re related?"


    "No, the Brocks were kind enough to give me a place to stay. I''m related to a friend of their family."


    Way to rain on my parade, Rachel. Trying to drive Samantha off by fostering a stupid misunderstanding would have been totally manga-worthy, but was evidently off the table for now.


    Samantha opened her mouth as if to say something else, but before she could get started on her next bout of tsundere nonsense, a pair of arms draped across my shoulders as someone leaned up against me from behind. What the¡ª


    "Well, hello there, Xavier," purred Paula in my ear. "You''re quite the popular boy, aren''t you?"


    The girls around the table froze. Even Rachel looked nonplussed.


    Big-boobed girl? That''s a big ol'' double-barreled check pressed right up against my back. How oversized was she that her breasts reached me despite leaning up against the back of my chair? I was sitting pretty far forward.


    Paula chuckled, evidently pleased at the reaction she''d provoked, stood up, and grabbed an empty chair from the adjacent table without so much as glancing at the table''s current occupants. "Scoot over pig-tails."


    "Pig¡ª?!" Samantha turned bright red and appeared to be having trouble drawing breath, to say nothing of finishing her sentence. Funny, I don''t think I''ve ever actually seen someone apoplectic before. If my ears weren''t burning from the unexpected close encounter with Paula''s chest, I''d probably be enjoying it more.


    Paula shoved her chair in between me and Samantha regardless, forcing both Samantha and I to scoot sideways a bit, before sitting down and pulling a paper Stirbucks bag from her backpack. She whisked a croissant of some sort out of the bag and began absent-mindedly shredding it with her fingers. The rest of us watched in silence. I think all of us were slightly in shock. Maybe I''d repressed the memory or something, but I''d forgotten quite how much¡­impact¡­Paula had.


    Jill looked like she''d swallowed a lemon, but still found her tongue before the rest of us. "So, um, who¡­?"


    "Ah, right, sorry," I said. "This is Paula. She''s a senior who works at the Stirbucks in the Outlet. We met a couple weeks ago. Paula, this is Samantha, Jill, and Rachel."


    "Mm-hmm," said Paula, giving a brief nod to the rest of the table before turning to me. "So how''s your twenty-something girlfriend doing recently?"


    "Girl¡ª?!" choked Samantha.


    Paula patted Samantha on the back without really looking at her. "Breathe, pig-tails, breathe."


    Huh, so people actually could turn that dark a shade of red. Learn something new every day. I still had no idea how to deal with her, but I had to admit that purely based on her interactions with Samantha, Paula was growing on me.


    I didn''t have any time to enjoy Samantha''s predicament, though, because Jill and Rachel were taking me apart with their eyes. How on earth was I going to explain the sex bomb? Come to that, what was I going to do if she showed up?


    "Who is she talking about, Xavier?" said Rachel.


    "Just some woman I ran into right before meeting Paula," I said.


    "No need to be modest!" said Paula with a grin. "You know, Xavier is quite the knight in shining armor. He rescued this woman from three assholes who were hassling her."


    "Cut it out!" I snapped. I take back everything I thought about enjoying Paula''s company.


    Paula just laughed.


    Needless to say, tomorrow I was looking for a different table.

 Harem Scarem: 015

    Harem Scarem: 015


    Thankfully before lunch could descend into even more awkwardness, we were interrupted by Ms. Cari?o stopping by our table on her way to the drama room.


    Ms. Cari?o is the drama teacher, and although I''ve never taken a drama class¡ªI have no interest in acting¡ªshe knows me thanks to the improv meetings she holds in the evening a couple times a week. She''s quite short, keeps her hair pulled back in a severe bun, wears oversized glasses that are thick enough they make her eyes look a little oddly placed, and I''ve never seen her in anything other than a long, formless, muumuu-like dress. At a guess, I''d say she''s in her 40''s or 50''s, but I''m admittedly terrible at placing people''s ages. Off-stage, Ms. Cari?o is very soft-spoken, but it''s deceptive; she can really project when she wants to. Guess that''s a drama teacher for you.


    "Xavier," she said quietly. "Are you planning to attend the improv meetings again this year?"


    I nodded with enthusiasm; though admittedly a lot of that enthusiasm was thanks to her interrupting Paula''s teasing. "Yep!"


    "Lovely. I''m planning to have our first meeting Thursday at 7. We''ll discuss what days and times people want to continue to meet for this semester."


    "I''ll be there, Ms. C!"


    "If you could let Hayden know the date and time, I would appreciate it. He''s not taking any drama classes this semester, so I am not sure if I will see him before then."


    "Will do."


    Ms. Cari?o smiled, nodded, and continued on down the hall.


    "Improv?" asked Paula.


    "Yeah, it''s a¡ªwell, I guess it''s not technically an official club. Ms. Cari?o hosts it a couple times a week, and it''s mostly a bunch of drama geeks doing improv activities."


    "Hmm, that right." Paula appeared to lose interest.


    At long last the bell signaled the end of lunch, and before the tone had completed Jill was up and dragging me away from the table. "Come on, Xavier, let''s get to the gym!"


    Rachel waved with a small smile, Paula winked at me, and Samantha sniffed and looked the other way. "I''m coming, I''m coming!" I said to Jill, pulling out of her grip and following her toward the locker rooms.


    <hr>


    After changing into gym clothes, we all met up in the indoor gym where our teacher, Mr. Patterson, gave us the rundown on what we could expect from his class. Evidently today we would be getting baseline records for things like how many push-ups and crunches we could do, our speed at running 100 meters or a mile, and similar. Thankfully, the mile run was one of the last things we would be doing, so hopefully I wouldn''t have to worry about a stitch from eating lunch so recently. It still struck me as vaguely sadistic to schedule P.E. immediately after our only meal of the day.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Mr. Patterson instructed us to get into pairs, and I looked around to see if I could catch anyone''s eye. I wasn''t very familiar with anyone in this class.


    "Hey Xavier, pair up with me!"


    Well, except Jill, of course.


    We collected a pen, clipboard, and stopwatch, then lined up with the rest of the class while Mr. Patterson taught us his preferred routine for warming up. That done, we started rotating through the stations he had set up.


    "I feel like we haven''t really talked much recently," said Jill, as we schlepped our way back to the gym to kick things off with some crunches, push-ups, and pull-ups. "How have you been doing?"


    Oh, you know, just getting shunted into a harem and wondering when I''ll get my life back. "I''m fine. What about you?"


    "Eh, same old, same old! You know me. Here, I''ll go first." Forty-three push-ups later it was my turn.


    "So¡ªI didn''t know you were so friendly with so many cute girls," Jill continued as I got down into the push-up position. "You dating any of them?"


    "A little busy here," I managed.


    "Twenty-four, not bad." Jill, you monster, you did almost twice as many. "But seriously, are you and Rachel going out?"


    "No, I''m not interested in dating right now. My girlfriend broke up with me over the summer when she moved across the state."


    "Eh?! You had a girlfriend? Since when? Who was it? Okay, I''m ready; start timing." Jill started doing crunches as I hit start on the stop watch.


    I waited until the stop-watch hit one minute. "Stop, that''s a minute."


    "That''s forty-eight," said Jill, and I marked the number down.


    "Did you know Emily Holt?" I said as we switched places.


    "I think she was in one of my classes; kind of short, a bit hyperactive?"


    "That''s Emily."


    "You set? I''m starting the timer¡­now."


    A minute''s worth of crunches passed. "Forty-two," I said.


    Jill marked that down. "So when did you two start dating?"


    "A few months before summer break." Ugh, I really didn''t want to talk about this. Time to turn the tables. "What about you? Claimed yourself a hot boyfriend yet?"


    Jill slugged me in the shoulder, which is her version of blushing. "You know I don''t have a boyfriend, dammit. No one''s interested in¡ª" She shrugged and cut herself off.


    Well, that was Jill all over. She''s always been incredibly competent and driven, but for some reason she has a weirdly low opinion of herself.


    But this turn of the conversation put me in something of a bind. Normally, I''d say something nice and vaguely supportive, but now Jill was a harem member. "Vaguely supportive" was likely to raise flags that should be left well enough alone.


    On the other hand, my interactions with Jill up to this point had been par for the course. She might be officially part of my harem, but so far she was the only girl in the harem with whom I had a normal relationship. Was there some way I could keep her as a friend without encouraging her romantically? Or was that just going to send me into wishy-washy harem protagonist territory?


    Screw it. I liked Jill, even if I didn''t like her. Until I had a chance to come up with some countermeasures, I might as well just treat her like normal. I slugged her back. "Don''t sell yourself short."


    Jill watched me with an inscrutable look on her face. "Thanks, Xavier. You haven''t changed."


    "What on earth does that mean?"


    She hit me with an evil grin. "It means you don''t have a chance of beating a single one of my records today."


    "Dammit, we were competing?!"


    <hr>


    Fourth period was Pre-Calculus 1 with Ms. Caldwell, and as I''d come to expect at this point, I barely knew anyone in the class aside from Rachel. Alburn High is pretty big, but it was still bizarre so few of the people I''d had in classes last year were in class with me this year.


    Although I guess the vast majority of manga set in schools do only have 2-3 named characters in any given classroom, with the rest either faceless background characters or extras who receive backstories and names only when required by the plot.


    I should definitely learn the names of everyone in all my classes just to stick it to the author.

 Harem Scarem: 016

    Harem Scarem: 016


    My quest for an alternate eating spot proved futile; although Seamus did indeed share Lunch 1, his table was packed full of band geeks both days I scoped it out. Evidently band was second period and the band room was right next to the cafeteria. Curses.


    Aside from Seamus and his band chums there wasn''t a single other table I felt comfortable trying to sit. Sure, there were scattered people who I knew by name, thanks to classes last year or track and field, but none of them were grouped up sufficiently to give me a reasonable in. Simultaneously, none of them were eating alone; they all appeared to be sitting with established social groups. Maybe if I weren''t a total coward when it came to introducing myself to strangers I would have tried to insinuate myself into one of the groups, but as it was I just fell back on eating at the same table I''d sat the first day of school both following days. It was frustrating.


    Of course, the harem congregated there with me both days, as well. It appeared this was my new routine.


    Thankfully there was one bright spot in my future: the improv club was meeting Thursday evening.


    <hr>


    I call it a club, but the improv meetings aren''t actually recognized by the school in any official capacity, so far as I know. Ms. Cari?o simply hosts them because she wants to, and because improvisation is a good exercise for actors. Most of the participants are the hard-core drama geeks who can''t get enough time in the limelight; that about sums up Hayden, for instance.


    Then there''s me; I''ve never taken a drama class (and have no intention of ever doing so), don''t try out for the school plays, and just generally have no interest in acting.


    But midway through ninth grade Hayden invited me to come to an improv meeting, and on a whim I took him up on it.


    I discovered that I love it. There''s something magical about improv. Maybe it''s that I get an excuse to play make-believe with my peers in a way that''s otherwise been heavily stigmatized since the end of elementary school. Maybe it''s because it gives me an outlet to be ridiculous and goofy, which I just don''t get elsewhere. Maybe it''s because it forces me to go out there and interact with people, but without any of the stress I''d suffer in a normal social setting. Maybe it''s the fact that every improv session involves building something collaboratively rather than competing the way I do in track and field, or Seamus has to do in band. Maybe it''s something else; I don''t really know.


    Whatever the reason, after I got a taste for improv I started attending every meeting I could, and within a couple weeks Hayden and I were solidly best friends. Ms. Cari?o''s improv meetings have been a bright spot in my life for almost a year now.


    So after a week of dealing with unwanted harem members in and out of class I was really looking forward to blowing off some steam with a bit of improv.


    <hr>


    "Hey Mom, are you ready to go?" I was looking forward to being able to take my driving test in a little over a month so I could start driving myself places. I''ll bet Mom was counting down the days, too.


    "In a minute, Xavier," Mom called back from somewhere deeper in the house. I sat down at the kitchen table to wait for her.


    While I was waiting, Rachel wandered in. "Are you going to that improv thing now?"


    "Yep."


    She stood there in thought for a moment. "Would it be alright if I came, too? I''m kind of curious."


    Oh, I had a really bad feeling about this. I also had no good reason to refuse. "Sure." I saw Mom approaching down the hall. "Let''s go."


    I drove us to the parking lot by the PAC and Mom took the car home. She or Dad would be by to pick us up around 8:30 when the improv meeting was done.


    I headed toward the side door nearest the drama classroom, Rachel following. It was a few minutes after 7:00, although I wasn''t worried about being late; it wasn''t uncommon to have people to drift in until 7:15 or so.


    The drama classroom door was shut but unlocked, so we let ourselves in.


    The drama classroom is a little bigger than the typical classroom at Alburn High, with chairs instead of desks and a raised section at the head of the room that serves as a sort of ad hoc stage. Ms. Cari?o has a podium that she uses instead of a desk, and one of the side walls is floor-to-ceiling cupboards. I haven''t seen much of their contents, although based on a few rare instances where Ms. Cari?o had gone through them for improv games they are filled with an assortment of props and costumes.


    There was a pretty good crowd of people there when we arrived. Hayden, Andrea, and a smattering of other drama kids, Ms. Cari?o, and¡ªThis tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    "Oh, Xavier. Could you be any later?" Samantha?


    "What the hell are you doing here?" Uh, I said that out loud, didn''t I?


    "Rude!" Samantha exclaimed. "I didn''t want to waste my evening spending time with you, of course, but I was curious about improv."


    "Right."


    Someone grabbed my arm, breasts pressing up against my side. "Come on, be honest," said Paula. "You can just say you wanted to see him after school, you know."


    "Paula? What the hell are you doing here?" Shit, that was out loud, too.


    I disengaged myself, and she shot me a teasing grin. "You''re quite the broken record. This little twerp wouldn''t shut up about what a waste of time improv sounded like, so I had to come give her a bad time when she inevitably showed up. And look who''s here!"


    Well, that was Paula all over. I''d only spent three lunches interacting with her, but I could already tell the main reason she was hanging around me was because she loved to mess with all of us.


    Ms. Cari?o bustled over. "Welcome! It''s lovely to see some new faces. Are you friends of Xavier?"


    "Friends? He''s not my friend! Ew!" Thanks for that, Samantha.


    Paula licked her lips and did a damn fine job of making it lascivious. "That''s one way of putting it."


    Before I could even try to respond to that the door opened and in walked Jill. "What? Paula?! Oh, hey Xavier. I just finished up cross country a while ago and figured I''d see what improv was all about before I headed home."


    Sure; because you''ve been running for what, four hours now? Riiiight.


    "Come in, come in!" said Ms. Cari?o. "New faces are always welcome. Have a seat anywhere you like, and we''ll get started."


    As I seated myself, surrounded by attractive women, I caught Hayden shooting me a look. What the ever-loving shit? said Hayden''s inquiring gaze. I shrugged. You wouldn''t believe it, dude. Also, you''re welcome to Samantha or Paula if you can ever tear yourself away from your one-sided crush on Andrea.


    I''m not sure if he caught all of that from a shrug, but there''s only so much a guy can do.


    "Wonderful!" Ms. Cari?o pointed to Hayden and me. "Xavier, Hayden, why don''t you two show our guests what the improv club is all about? We''ll do Last Line." She pulled her Box of Mystery over, dug around inside, and extracted a slip of paper. "Looks like your line is ''I''ll give you $68.'' Hayden onstage; Xavier you can start stage left. Once you''re finished, I''ll answer any questions people have and we''ll go from there."


    Hayden stood up and strode over to the front of the classroom where he dragged Ms. Cari?o''s podium away from the wall and leaned on it, affecting a bored expression while he pulled out his phone and started tapping away at the blank screen one-handed. I moved over to the right side of the classroom and stood quietly.


    "All set?" said Ms. Cari?o. "Action!"


    I mimed opening a door and walked through, my other hand down at my side clutching something tightly.


    Hayden glanced up briefly, and then turned his attention back to his phone. I walked over, leaned down, mimed picking something up with both hands, and placed it on the counter.


    "Excuse me," I said to Hayden. "I''d like to sell my dog here."


    Hayden sighed, put his phone away, and straightened up. He peered dubiously at the podium. "I''m very sorry, sir," Hayden said. "I''m afraid I cannot buy your dog. She¡ª" He mimed lifting something with two fingers and peered underneath. "¡ªhe, excuse me, is dead."


    "What?!" I exclaimed. "No no, my dog is not dead. Look he''s just asleep."


    Hayden pointed. "His eyes are open."


    I forced a chuckle. "I know, it''s strange how he does that. He''s slept with his eyes open since he was just a pup."


    "He hasn''t moved since you walked through the door."


    "He''s a very deep sleeper."


    "You dragged him across the room. I think I heard something crack when he went over the door frame."


    "Oh, you know how it is. Some dogs are just so lazy you have to drag them everywhere."


    Hayden looked at me, looked down at the podium, and looked back at me. "He smells like rotting flesh. Your dog is dead!"


    "Well," I huffed. "You don''t have to be rude! I admit, I haven''t washed him in¡ª" I paused, and counted silently on one hand, looked dubiously at my other hand, and dropped both. "¡ªa while. But just because he''s gotten a bit whiffy doesn''t mean he''s dead!"


    Hayden sighed and briefly rested his head in his hands. "Fine, whatever. Why would I want to buy your dead dog, anyway?"


    "Oh, he''s a very good dog!" I exclaimed, leaning forward with excitement. "Would you believe that my dog never, ever barks no matter the provocation?"


    Hayden stared at me. I stared back. He opened his mouth. He shut his mouth. He raised a finger, opened his mouth again, paused, and shut it once more. I continued to stare at him with a hopeful smile plastered across my face.


    "¡ªI actually have no problem believing that," Hayden said at last.


    "Right?!" I leaned over the podium toward him. "He may be a bit lazy, but he''s a great dog! Just the other day, we took a walk and I had to go to the bathroom. I parked him by a field full of kids throwing frisbees and squirrels scampering about, told him to stay, and when I came back he was in the exact same position! I hadn''t even bothered to tie him up or anything, because I trust him so much."


    "Do dead dogs often chase after squirrels in your experience?" Hayden asked drily.


    I ignored him. "And not only that, but he''s an excellent guard dog! Yesterday, my house was broken into, but the robbers took one look at my dog and high-tailed it out of there without taking a thing!"


    "That was undoubtedly the smell." Hayden stared down at the podium with an expression of disgust on his face. "Or possibly they noticed those bits that are leaking out."


    I laughed. It was clearly forced. "No, no, he''s just that good a dog. So anyway, what will you give me for him? I really would like to sell him."


    Hayden exploded. "I will not buy your dog! He''s dead! I will not buy a dead dog!" He slammed his hands onto the podium and glared at me.


    "Ugh, fine! You''re so unreasonable!" I griped as I mimed picking up my dog and setting him on the floor. I then reached down with a hand and mimed lifting something else onto the counter. "If you don''t want my dog, then would you be interested in buying my cat?"


    Hayden peered into my imaginary cat carrier. "I almost hate to ask, but¡ªisn''t your cat dead?"


    "Weeeeeell," I said. "Ah, you see, mmm¡ªyes, yes my cat is dead."


    Hayden looked thoughtfully up to the sky for a moment, then nodded to himself and shot me a confident smile. "I''ll give you $68."

 Harem Scarem: 017

    Harem Scarem: 017


    The rest of the evening was fairly normal; or at least as normal as one of our improv meetings ever goes. Ms. Cari?o was able to coax and/or bully Paula, Samantha, and Jill into trying a little improvisation out themselves, though Rachel steadfastly refused. Jill was terrible at it; far too self-conscious and completely failed to provide her partner with anything to work with while simultaneously missing all of the opportunities her partner provided. She did a single skit and begged off.


    Samantha seemed to be having fun¡ªand went for multiple rounds¡ªbut always ended up playing a tsundere character. Even the skit when she decided to act like a dog, it was somehow a tsundere dog. I''m becoming more and more convinced that Samantha is not actually human, but an exchange student from Planet Japanimation or something.


    Meanwhile Paula was scarily good. If this had been my first meeting, I would have sworn she had been doing improv her entire life and was a long-time member of the club. Stacked, flirtatious, and quick on the uptake. Paula was as dangerous as Rachel, albeit in an entirely different way.


    And that left me feeling incredibly depressed.


    When I think about it, that seems kind of weird. Normally, an improv meeting leaves me refreshed and excited. The laughter, getting to do silly things with people who don''t judge me¡ªall of it just bleeds the stress out of my life.


    Tonight that refuge had been taken from me, and the longer the meeting went on the darker my mood grew. This was no longer about letting off some stress. It had been perverted into yet another way to get me to interact with this group of girls. Even worse, when Ms. Cari?o suggested everyone come back again next week, Paula and Samantha both expressed interest.


    Everything in my life was being twisted into a harem event; maybe if I had anticipated this, it wouldn''t have hit me as hard, but I''d really been looking forward to letting off some steam off camera, as it were. Nope. I''d been so full of resolve just a week or two ago, thinking that maybe I could actually make a difference in my situation by varying my interactions with the girls, but those plans so far had been bulldozed over by the unstoppable force of manga coincidences.


    <hr>


    My funk continued through the weekend and into the next week. Every day felt like it was composed of homework, sleeping, and then non-stop forced interaction with my harem. I grew reticent; withdrawing and responding as simply as I could get away with. I know Rachel noticed, because she started giving me more space at home, but that just made me more depressed since I was fairly certain she was the main girl. Ironically, I didn''t want consideration from her, because it was just another way for the author to try and manipulate my emotions. I think Jill probably noticed, too, but her response was to ignore it and try to pull me out of my funk by being even more¡­well, Jill. Let''s just say I lost a lot of pointless competitions in P.E. for a few days there.


    Paula''s behavior never changed, although it felt like she might have spent more time pushing the other girls'' buttons instead of mine. Samantha was her usual annoying self. About the only thing that changed on her front was she started pestering me via text at night until I finally bombarded her with Vickie''s email, the house phone number, and detailed instructions on how to buy stamps online along with our home address. Surprisingly enough, that actually stopped the onslaught. Evidently Vickie was more than just an excuse to get close to me. Maybe they hit it off in V-Mobile while I was trying to regain my stamina stat in the mall; that would be just my luck.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    At last Tuesday rolled around, along with another improv meeting; at the end of the prior meeting, Ms. Cari?o had polled everyone and decided to meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays this year. And sure enough, both Paula and Samantha showed up.


    It was too much. Despite it raining buckets immediately after dinner, the next evening I decided to take a page out of Rachel''s book and get out of the house for a while, so after completing my homework I snagged an umbrella, told my dad I was going out for a walk, and booked it out into the wet.


    <hr>


    I wasn''t feeling in the mood for nature, so instead of pulling a Rachel and heading to Dykstra Park, I meandered my way south and west. It''s a bit of a slog, especially in the rain, but about a mile south-west of us is a little strip of non-residential buildings; mostly small-time eateries, random shops of no interest to a teenager, a hole-in-the-wall ethnic grocery store; things like that. I''m honestly not sure why it''s there. Maybe it''s an offshoot of the municipal airport that''s a few blocks further west. I think there might be a hotel or two in the area, too.


    It was too late at night even if I were interested in window shopping, but I figured the eateries would still be open and there might be some strangers hanging around. I was in the mood to be anonymous in hopes of feeling like less of a protagonist. The area was also a lot better lit than anywhere else in walking distance, and given how dark it was getting with the oncoming fall and unceasing rain that was a definite plus.


    My feet were getting kind of damp through my tennis shoes, but something about walking in the rain was legitimately calming me down. I don''t know; I guess Rachel was right about how nice it is to get out of the house every so often. I''ve always kind of liked rain, too, as long as I''ve got some layer of protection between me and the wet. Plus, this particular storm had very little wind, making it perfect umbrella weather.


    After wandering around the shopping district enjoying the staccato drumbeat of raindrops on a nice big umbrella, I turned down a side street with the intention of starting for home. One door down from the corner was what looked like a little dive of a bar; the doors were open, and faint music and the sounds of a partially drunken group of people were washing out over the sidewalk. I didn''t spare it much of a glance; just enough to notice its existence and that there was someone¡ªprobably a small woman, based on her silhouette¡ªstanding just inside the doorway peering out into the rain. Nothing to do with me.


    Except, I''d made a massive tactical error. I was a romance manga protagonist. With an umbrella. In heavy rain.


    So the thing is: Japan really loves their umbrellas. In the U.S. you might find a heart, maybe with an arrow through it, and a couple''s initials or names scratched onto something as some sort of love-sick act of petty vandalism. In Japan they do something similar, except with a stylized umbrella and the couple''s names on either side of the handle or shaft.


    I don''t know what the cultural reasons for this are, but umbrellas are heavily featured in romance-oriented manga. Someone is always forgetting their umbrella (or "forgetting" their umbrella, for the craftier love interests) and sharing an umbrella with their nascent sweet-heart on the walk home. I think it''s the enforced physical intimacy that makes this such a popular trope. Hand holding and other public displays of affection are kind of stigmatized in Japanese culture, so walking under the same umbrella gives a great excuse to get chummy that can be taken advantage of by even the most retiring and/or self-deluded love interests.


    For me, leaving the house with an umbrella was tantamount to sending a gold-embossed invitation to my manga''s author.


    Sure enough, as I passed the dive bar with barely a glance, the woman standing there darted out of the doorway and ducked under my umbrella so quickly I recoiled a step. "Xavier! You came along just in time to save me yet again."


    Shit. So much for my relaxing walk in the rain. It was the sex bomb.

 Harem Scarem: 018

    Harem Scarem: 018


    As I''d reflexively taken a step away when she rushed toward me, Ms. Short, Lithe, and Sexy took another half step forward so she was under the umbrella proper. Good thing I''d taken one of the family''s larger umbrellas, because even so this was pretty damn cramped and awkward.


    As I tried to think of something to say I was distracted by the feeling that I did in fact know this lady. I mean, I knew she had to be someone that worked at our school, but before I''d had no idea who that could be. This time around, though, she was weirdly familiar.


    The height, the Mexican heritage, the timbre of her voice¡­could I have seen her just yesterday evening? I imagined her in a muumuu and big face obscuring glasses. Holy shit. "Ms. Cari?o?!"


    Her face split in the kind of mischievous smile I would never have imagined on Ms. Cari?o''s face. Come to that, I never would have expected Ms. Cari?o to wear such a form-fitting dress, or perilous heels, or be frequenting obscure bars on a weeknight.


    "Guilty as charged," she said gleefully.


    There was really only one thing to say. "What the hell?! I don''t even know where to start. Why are you dressed like that? Why are you so different at school? What are you doing outside a bar on a week night?"


    Ms. Cari?o stared at me thoughtfully. "How about you accompany me to the corner," she said, gesturing down the street in the direction I had been walking. "There''s a nice little coffee shop that stays open late down there. I''ll treat you to something if you''ll chat with me a bit."


    Ugh, what should I do? This was bad, bad, bad. On the one hand, I absolutely wanted to know the story behind Ms. Cari?o, the dumpiest teacher at Alburn High, transforming into a miniature sex goddess. The curiosity was killing me.


    On the other, the older, sexually aggressive teacher coming onto her student is a tried and true manga trope, and this particular protagonist was not at all interested in getting frisky with his sensei. Even if she was absurdly attractive. Maybe especially then, actually. The power dynamics inherent in student-teacher romances in manga make me feel just as icky as the romantic-little-sister relationships.


    I stood trapped in indecision long enough for Ms. Cari?o to notice. She gently laid a hand on my arm. "I promise I won''t tease you like I did at the mall, Xavier. I just¡­really could use a friendly ear to bend right now."


    Well, crap. Alright, men, strap on your helmets and let''s enter the mine field! "¡ªAlright. I can''t stay long, though." I really hoped this wasn''t a mistake.


    <hr>


    A quiet walk in the rain under a shared umbrella later, we were ensconced in a small coffee shop, Ms. Cari?o nursing a coffee and me with some peppermint tea. Thankfully, the shop was all but deserted, and the back corner we''d claimed nicely shadowed. As long as Rachel or someone didn''t coincidentally wander in, I doubted we was in any danger of having our little t¨ºte-¨¤-t¨ºte discovered.


    I sipped my tea, and Ms. Cari?o looked surprisingly uncomfortable. She''d seemed sure of herself earlier, but maybe she was starting to doubt her spur-of-the-moment rush out of the bar. Rather than say anything and possibly kickstart a manga development I didn''t want to live through, I sat quietly. I needed to be extra careful here.


    Finally, she drew a deep breath and looked up. "I''m not really sure how to explain myself, honestly, Xavier. Please bear with me for a bit?" She gave me a small smile.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Dammit, woman, put your muumuu back on. This is not remotely fair. I gestured to her to go on, and she took a deep breath.


    "To answer one of your earlier questions, this is what I normally look like. The Ms. Cari?o you know at school is a¡ªpersona, I guess, for lack of a better word. I don''t know how old you think I am¡ª" she paused, as if I were stupid enough to guess an older woman''s age "¡ªbut I''m only 34." She laughed a bit, some of the playfully sexy attitude she''d been sporting at the mall coming out as she punched me lightly in the arm. "Though to a high school kid like you, I guess that''s fairly ancient, huh? Anyway, I''ve always¡ªattracted a lot of attention, I guess. I worked at several schools before I was hired at Alburn High, and all the weird drama with my coworkers, administration, and even the students¡ªit was just wearing me down so much that I figured this time around I''d nip it in the bud and come up with a role to play that wouldn''t cause me so much trouble."


    She sipped her coffee and stared out at the darkness and the rain. "I''ve been working at Alburn High for five years now, and¡ªI guess my disguise worked a little too well. You asked why I was at a bar on a weeknight, and you''re right: this is really irresponsible of me. I just needed to unwind as myself a little bit, if that makes any sense. You have no idea how exhausting it is to be constantly walking a tightrope, constantly afraid all your struggle will come to naught, constantly just¡ªstuck."


    I inadvertently let out a breath in a sort of proto-laugh. I was intimately aware of how that felt. Hell, it was why I was on this doomed walk in the first place.


    Ms. Cari?o shot me a look, and flashed a wry grin when she saw my expression. "Well, that was presumptuous of me. I guess you''re a teenager, huh? Of course you know all about tightropes and identity crises."


    "Uh," I managed. I was seriously unsure how to react to this version of Ms. Cari?o.


    She grimaced. "And here I promised not to tease you. I just¡ªhave been having some issues in my personal life recently, and it''s all gotten to be¡ªwell¡ªa bit much to handle. Which is not something I should be sharing with a student. I''m sorry, Xavier, just forget this. I''ll¡ªsee you after school tomorrow, I guess."


    She made to get up, and without really thinking about it, I grabbed her hand. Shit, please don''t let this increase the number of girls in my harem. "I don''t know what you''re going through, or what you''ve been through, or whatever, Ms. Cari?o, but you''re a great drama teacher. I mean, I guess I''ve never taken a drama class, but Hayden always has wonderful things to say and you''re really funny and helpful with the improv meetings. I think it''s pretty amazing you''re able to act a role out so thoroughly for such a long time. I don''t think you need to beat yourself up about that." I paused, realized I was still holding her hand, and jerked away. "Sorry! Uh, and no offense, but I really don''t think you should be having this conversation with a student. Maybe a friend or family member would be better next time?"


    Ms. Cari?o stood perfectly still watching me, and then an absolutely beatific smile spread across her face. "You are absolutely right, Xavier." She leaned over me. "Thank you. Now you need to hurry home before it gets too much later, young man." With a wink, she patted me lightly on the cheek. Dammit, she was almost as touchy-feely as Paula. "And if you wouldn''t mind keeping my real appearance a secret between the two of us¡­?" Ah, the tried and true "secret between us" angle. I''d been wondering when that would come up.


    "Uh, right, sure" I said, and scrambled out of my seat. "Um, are you going to be alright in the rain? Are you parked nearby?"


    "Oh, I just need to catch a bus; I''ll be fine." She gestured vaguely to the south, but if I recalled correctly all the bus stops I''d walked by earlier this evening had been little more than a sign on a lamppost, with no decent cover from the elements to speak of. I suppose I could walk her to the stop¡­but no, dammit, I needed a clean break here. I''d already potentially screwed myself with my impromptu little pep talk¡ªand oh god, she must think I''m a complete idiot.


    Well, I wasn''t that far from home, and I sure as hell was dressed a lot warmer than she was. I shoved my umbrella at her, and she reflexively took it. "Here, you can give it back to me tomorrow. I only live a couple blocks away."


    "Wait, Xavier¡ª" she started, but I rushed out the door. I needed to forestall any further interactions before I dug myself into a deeper hole.


    "See you tomorrow!" I called back over my shoulder, and jogged into the rain.


    September rain was a lot less enjoyable with just a medium-weight jacket, that was for sure.

 Harem Scarem: 019

    Harem Scarem: 019


    There are two actions a manga character can take to ensure they catch a cold: sleep with their stomach exposed or get soaked in the rain. Exposure to someone who''s infected? Nah, that''s not necessary at all. It''s called a "cold" because you catch it when you''re cold, right?


    For a self-proclaimed manga expert, I sure seem to stumble into a lot of easily avoidable situations.


    That''s right: the morning after I arrived back home sopping wet and sans-umbrella I woke up with an absolutely vicious cold. Fever, sinuses full of nastiness, the works.


    Mom took one look at me when I stumbled downstairs after waking up and sent me right back to bed. Guess I looked as bad as I felt.


    <hr>


    I spent the rest of the morning and into early afternoon alternately dozing, popping acetaminophen, and re-watching classic movies.


    "Well it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There''s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead¡ªis slightly alive."


    Yep, that pretty much summed up my existence. To anyone who believes there was some sort of intelligence involved in the design of humans, I offer Exhibit A: sinuses. QED.


    By mid-afternoon it was obvious that I was trending towards another nap, but I''d woken up from my morning''s nap with that horrible, grimy feeling of having sweated a bunch in my sleep so before stumbling off to bed, I opted to take a raging hot shower. Best decision I ever made; I could practically feel the gunk in my sinuses melting down my throat.


    On second thought, I guess the shower was kind of a mixed bag.


    In any case, I emerged from the steam, wrapped a towel around my waist, and headed for my bedroom.


    And of course Rachel had just come up the stairs when I exited the bathroom.


    She turned slightly pink around the ears and looked away, which I pointedly ignored, opting instead for obtaining a death grip on my towel to ensure no ill-timed manga-triggered full-frontals and heading straight for my room. I was absolutely not in the mood for raising flags or awkward ecchi situations, thank you very much.


    She evidently wasn''t willing to just let me go, though. "How are you doing, Xavier?"


    "I''m sick as a dog and wearing nothing but a towel; I''ve been better."


    "Right, I''ll let you get dressed. Just, um¡ªyou''ve got visitors downstairs."


    "Visi¡ª" Oh. Right. Sick man with a harem here. Manga protagonists always get visited by their love interest when they''re home ill. I was lucky none of them had ambushed me in my room. Accidental sexy hijinks with feverish people were a manga mainstay. Odds are Jill dropped by on her way home from school or something.


    Wait, though. She said "visitors," plural. How many of them could possibly be down there?


    "I''ll be down in a bit, then," I said. "Don''t let anyone come upstairs, would you?"


    Rachel smiled wryly and shrugged. "Okay."


    <hr>


    Trekking downstairs after throwing on some clothes, I discovered Paula and Samantha bemusedly ensconced at the kitchen table while my mother gradually increased the number of snacks arranged in front of them. Rachel had disappeared off somewhere; maybe she''d retreated to her room to avoid getting fed, as well.


    "Ah, Xavier," said Mom when I entered the kitchen. "Some friends are here to check up on you."


    "Like I said, I''m just here to drop off his Japanese assignment and to visit Vickie," protested Samantha.


    "My my, you''ve certainly changed your tune," said Paula. "Who was it at lunch who practically begged me to drive her to Xavier''s house so she could make sure he was feeling alright, and then forced me to stop at a weird little grocery to buy supplies?"


    "!!!" Samantha turned beet red. I wasn''t sure if that was embarrassment or fury.


    Mom broke in before blood could be spilt. "Victoria won''t be home for another twenty minutes or so; she has cheer practice this afternoon." For someone who spends her time lurking under tables reading manga, my sister sure is a bloody normie outside of the house. I have no idea what appeals to her about participating in a middle school cheer team, but she''s been doing so for a couple years now. To each their own, I suppose.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Samantha didn''t appear to have any idea how to process that. I could practically see her train of thought derail completely. Paula looked slightly bored that Samantha''s fury had been so effectively interrupted.


    I sat down at the far side of the kitchen table, and Mom quietly slid a small bowl of cashews in front of me. This not being my first rodeo, I immediately ate a couple. The only way to prevent the snacks from increasing was to be obvious about eating one of them.


    "So!" said Paula, pushing aside a few of the dishes in front of her so that she could rest her arms on the table. "You look like death, Xavier. I''ll bet Samantha has something to help with that, though. She certainly bought enough sports drinks."


    Evidently it was time for round two. Samantha renewed her glare, but dutifully pulled a plastic shopping bag from the floor at her feet and set it near me on the table. Three bottles of what looked like sport drinks poked out the top. "Don''t get the wrong idea; I just think you should get well as soon as possible so you don''t get your sister sick."


    "¡ªRight. Thanks, I guess." I looked inside the bag, and found¡ªwas that Japanese? Wait, where did she pick this stuff up? It was like the stereotypical "get well soon" package from manga. Sport drinks, an orange, and what looked like those weird little cooling pads that Japanese people like to slap on the heads of people with fevers. "Where on earth did you find this stuff?"


    "I certainly didn''t spend any time searching for the one Asian grocery store in Alburn because I was concerned for you or anything," said Samantha.


    "Seriously, is your character entirely ripped off of a manga?" Shit, I said that out loud.


    Samantha gaped at me, and Paula pounced. "What''s manga?"


    I backpedaled. "Nevermind, stupid idea anyway."


    "No, seriously, what''s a manga?" insisted Paula. "Don''t leave me hanging here, Xavier." She leaned forward, accentuating her bust against the top of the table. Your foul tricks don''t work on the feverish, she-demon.


    Thankfully, Samantha''s tsundere reached critical mass before I had to try and figure out how to divert Paula. "You jerk! See if anyone does anything nice for you, ever again! I''ll just take that back¡ª"


    Just then Vickie walked in the door.


    "¡ªand give it to Vickie instead!" Samantha snatched up her plastic bag and fled towards my sister. "Vickie, you won''t believe what your brother said to me!"


    "Samantha?" said Vickie. "I didn''t know you were coming over today."


    "Well, it''s not like I wanted to check on Xavier or anything," I heard Samantha say, as she dragged my sister out of the kitchen. "It was just a good excuse to visit you. By the way, do you like sports drinks?"


    I laid my head down on the table. If only my headaches were all treatable with acetaminophen; sadly I hear tsundere is incurable with any known remedy, save maybe a bat to the head.


    I felt a cool hand against my forehead and opened my eyes. Paula had scooted around to the seat adjacent to me and was leaning over me. For once, she didn''t have any of her typical teasing or flirtatious expressions on. She actually looked¡­concerned? I wasn''t aware that was part of her emotional vocabulary.


    "You''re burning up," she muttered. "Mrs. Brock? Will you be able to take Samantha home, or should I go collect her? Xavier should really be asleep."


    Mom re-entered the kitchen from wherever she''d been lurking. I''d lost track of her at some point. "We''ll take Samantha home if you''d like to head out now. It looks like she wants to spend some time with Vickie, but that''s no reason to keep you."


    "Alright, up you come," said Paula, forcibly pulling me up from my sitting position. "Where''s your room?"


    That set off at least a dozen internal klaxons. As I hesitated and tried to wrest my arm away from Paula, the doorbell rang and Mom went to answer it.


    "Oh, Jillian," I heard my mother say. "I haven''t seen you in ages."


    "Is Xavier doing alright? I stopped by on my way home because I heard he was home sick today."


    Paula finally let me pull away and muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, "Damn hindrance." She patted me on the arm. "Looks like you''ll have to tough out at least one more concerned girlfriend. I''ll let Ms. Cari?o and the rest of the improv club know why you''re not there tonight, and see you at school." Before Mom had led Jill into the kitchen, Paula exited through the mud room.


    Leaving me adrift in the middle of the kitchen as Jill came around the corner. "Oh, Xavier! How are you doing?"


    I just couldn''t do it. I don''t know why manga protagonists are always so grateful to be visited. "I feel like crap and just want to sleep." And evidently sickness means I have no filter between my brain and my mouth! Fun discoveries all around.


    Jill looked guilty. "Oh, I''m so sorry. Look, you go nap then, and I''ll see you at school. Really, I''m sorry."


    I took her at her word and fled upstairs, leaving my mother to keep Jill company.


    <hr>


    Thankfully, my fever partially broke during my afternoon nap, and my temperature dropped down around 100 by the time dinner rolled around.


    Unfortunately, that meant that by ten at night I was still wide awake. I''d slept so much during the day that I was having trouble conking out, and I''d already used up my available distractions: the homework delivered by Samantha was complete, and somehow I just didn''t feel like reading any manga.


    I wandered downstairs to get a warm cup of tea and see if that relaxed me, and as I passed the living room my mother called out to me. "That you, Peanut?"


    "Yeah, Mom, I''m getting myself some tea."


    Mom followed me into the kitchen "Brew me a cup, too?"


    "Sure, Mom. I''m having peppermint; you good with that?"


    "Peppermint''s fine." She silently leaned against the counter as I filled the teapot and busied myself preparing a pair of mugs. "You have a moment to talk?"


    "Of course, Mom. What''s up?"


    She remained quiet for a moment, biting her lip. Funny, Mom was usually unflappable. I wondered what she was worried about.


    "This might sound a little strange, Xavier, but¡ªare we in a manga?"


    Well, I sure as hell wasn''t expecting that.

 Harem Scarem: 020

    Harem Scarem: 020


    I stared at Mom, completely nonplussed for a moment. "How¡ª" But I couldn''t finish the sentence. I just started silently crying.


    Mom moved so fast I could barely track her, and an instant later she was embracing me, hard.


    There''s something uniquely horrible about suffering alone. I''d known that I was under heavy stress due to this whole stupid situation. I''d been living through the mood swings from anger to helplessness and back. I''d railed against my fate, I''d tried to live with it, I''d done my best to distract myself. But I''d done it all alone. There was no one I could even talk to about it, because they would have rightly assumed that I''d gone ''round the bend and I''d likely have some very interested psychologists to add to my problems shortly thereafter.


    I hadn''t realized quite how much emotion I had been repressing, but now that I''d started crying I was finding it incredibly hard to stop, which was super embarrassing. Not least because I was still suffering from a head cold, and my sudden bout of waterworks was causing all sorts of fluid-related issues in my sinuses and nose.


    I dripped and sniffled and failed to adequately deal with the situation, and throughout it all Mom just held onto me with a grip of iron, ear up against my chest while I leaked onto her hair.


    <hr>


    After far longer than it should have taken, I finally calmed down, we removed the tea bags from our over-steeped tea, and sat down at the kitchen table.


    "How did you know this is a manga?" I managed to get more than the first word out the second time around.


    Mom looked grim. "I''ve been wondering if something is up for a while now, but I was nearly certain when all those girls came by to see you when you''d missed a single day of school."


    "Yeah, that was pretty weird, huh."


    "Your reaction, though¡ªhow long have you known you''re in a manga, Peanut?"


    "I broke the fourth wall back in early summer. You know, the day Seamus invited me to Tracy''s?"


    "How long had it been going on before then?"


    "I think it had just started. Mom, how did you even notice? Has¡ªsomething like this happened to you?"


    Mom looked away. "I¡ªshortly before I met your father in college¡ªI was trapped in a death game."


    "Shit!" Mom doesn''t like swearing, but she didn''t bat an eye at that. There''s not a lot of genres that would be worse than a death game. As the name suggests, it''s a literal battle to the death, typically between normal, or mostly normal, characters who are somehow coerced into participating. Death games never end well, and typically explore the levels of depravity and insanity that people can descend to in horrific, no-win situations. Suddenly Mom''s weird emotional hang-ups when it comes to conflict resolution were making a lot of really scary sense.


    "I''d rather not talk about it," she said quietly. I could completely respect that. I wasn''t sure I wanted to, either, despite my horrified curiosity. "Do you know your genre?"


    "I''m pretty sure it''s a seinen rom-com harem."


    Mom frowned, drumming her fingers on the side of her mug. "I don''t have any experience with harems. What else do you know?"


    "When I broke the fourth wall, I saw the title, but I don''t know the author."


    Mom waved that aside. "Author doesn''t matter. When you say you broke the fourth wall, what specifically happened? What did you see?"


    "Well, I tripped, then the next thing I know I''m standing in this weird gray nothingness with a giant page of manga behind me depicting the scene I''d just lived through."


    "Did you try to interact with the page in any way? Could you affect it?" Mom was leaning forward, her stare a little intense for my liking.


    "I tried to turn the page, but it was immovable. I started getting short of breath, so I jumped back through the hole. I don''t think there was any oxygen there. I haven''t been able to break the fourth wall again, so I haven''t had a chance to try anything else."Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Mom sat back. "Damn. That could have been a major breakthrough, but if it was random chance it''s unlikely to happen again. If something like that does happen to you, you should definitely prioritize either trying to affect the page directly, or else looking ahead and seeing if you can change the future that you see depicted."


    I nodded. "What do you mean the author doesn''t matter? Wouldn''t knowing the author allow me to directly appeal to them?"


    Mom shrugged. "Probably not; that assumes that they even exist in our reality, which is unlikely. Besides, it''s not the author you need to worry about. It''s the genre. Maybe the author tweaks things here and there to taste, but the genre is what ultimately dictates your fate."


    "The genre? I mean, I''ve been trying to get a little control over my life since I can sometimes guess what''s coming based on the circumstances, but how does that ultimately help?"


    "Knowing your genre is the only thing that will get you out of this manga," said Mom. "You''ll have to talk to your father if you want specific ideas, but based on our experience there are only three things you can do to escape a manga: accelerate your genre, subvert your genre, or break your genre.


    "Accelerating the genre means you actively attempt to move your situation into whatever that genre considers the end game. Subverting the genre means taking actions that cause the genre to change into something you find more palatable, or something that is easier to accelerate. Breaking the genre means you take actions that are completely inappropriate to the genre, effectively destroying it from the inside."


    "Okay," I said. "That makes sense. I''ve actually considered accelerating or breaking the genre on my own, if not in those terms. The problem is I don''t want to date any of these girls, and in order to actively drive them away I would probably destroy my social life."


    Mom sighed. "There''s no easy answers, unfortunately, Peanut. Now that I know you''re in a manga, I can get your father to help out, though, which should give you more options. He''s the one who came up with the theory behind accelerating, subverting, or breaking genre and ultimately helped me find a strategy of my own. I wouldn''t have made it out of my manga without him."


    "Wait," I said, a horrible though occurring to me. "How do I even know that I have a real life to return to? What if my memories of my life prior to this are just backstory?"


    Mom grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "You and I are real, Xavier. I don''t know how or why we both got stuck in manga stories, but the manga thing is something that''s imposed from outside, not the entirety of our existence."


    "But how do you know?"


    "Well, I guess there''s no way to prove that for sure, but I had a similar crisis back when Bill and I first realized what was truly going on and he came up with a method to attempt to verify that our world is real. There''s actually two steps to this, but I''ll have to dig around in the garage to get the second proof Bill came up with. First one''s easy, though. Who are all of the members of our extended family?"


    "What?"


    Mom gave me a "go ahead" gesture. "Come on, start listing."


    "Well, okay. There''s you, Dad, Sasha, and Vickie. On your side there''s Obaasan and Ojiisan¡ª"


    "Names," interjected Mom.


    "¡ªI mean, Himeko and Tadashi Nishimura. Then there''s Aunt Selene and Uncle Daisuke, and in a few months they''re having a kid¡ªdo we know the sex yet? So Little Cousin Indeterminate, then. Then there''s Uncle Jon, even if we never see him, and I suppose I should probably include Nana Rose, though she isn''t technically a relative. On Dad''s side, we''ve got Gramma Felicia and Great-Aunt Agatha for the older generation, then Uncle Johannes and Aunt Felicity and their kids Stephanie and Vincent. Auntie Abbie, Uncle Ricardo, and their kids Samson and Julia; then finally Aunt Lisa and Libby. So I''ve got a bunch of aunts, uncles, and cousins. What does that prove again?"


    "How many manga have you read that include an extended family, all of whom have names and personalities?" Mom countered.


    "Ah," I said. That was actually a pretty compelling argument. Manga authors¡ªand really most other authors, now I thought about it¡ªwere by and large incredibly lazy. Even if a character was assumed to have a normal extended family¡ªand that was rare on its own¡ªthe extended family never received names. Which made sense, I suppose. Why go to the trouble to dream up a bunch of characters who will never have an impact on your story? Only an idiot or a masochist would waste effort like that.


    "You can do a similar exercise by mapping out your social relationships at school," said Mom. "But the point is that our world is too complicated to be fiction. For what it''s worth, I''ve lived over two decades outside of a manga after my own storyline ended, too. You''re living in the real world, and it''s important to remember that, particularly if you start to go off-script. The further you stretch the genre, the more realistic the consequences become."


    "That''s good to know," I said quietly. I was guessing from her expression that Mom had direct experience with that fact.


    "Anyway, you''re still sick, so it''s about time you went to bed, Peanut. I''ll let your Dad know you''re stuck in a manga, and I''m sure he''ll help you strategize a possible way out this weekend."


    "Thanks, Mom. Just¡ªthanks." She was right it was high time I headed to bed. The emotional outburst coupled with the hot tea had done me in and I was flagging in a major way.


    Mom stepped up to me and gave me another quick hug. "I''m sorry about all this, Xavier. I tried everything we could think of to make sure our children didn''t have to suffer like I did, but¡ªI don''t know, maybe I''m just cursed."


    "There is no way this is your fault, Mom. And how could you possibly have prevented it, anyway?"


    She grinned. "Why do you think we named you ''Xavier''? Try saying that in Japanese."


    I shook my head. She was certainly right about that. Maybe my manga really was some sort of cheap American knock-off like I''d originally thought, because I was having trouble thinking of a name that was more impossible to transliterate into katakana.


    "Night, Mom."


    "Sleep well, Peanut."

 Harem Scarem: 021

    Harem Scarem: 021


    I woke the next morning feeling physically awful, but the best I''d been emotionally in a long while. I still wasn''t sure exactly how I was going to get myself out of this situation, but just having someone know about it who was solidly on my side was incredibly liberating.


    As an additional benefit, I guess my harem realized how ridiculous they''d been all visiting me at once, because despite another day at home recuperating I received not a single caller. By Saturday, I was starting to feel halfway human again, and after enjoying a surprisingly edible egg dish for breakfast¡ªDad seemed to have finally gotten a handle on the basics¡ªI retreated upstairs to combine a strategy session with avoiding Rachel, because I had a really bad feeling that I was due for some sort of manga-related run-in with her. I wasn''t convinced my little partial nudity a couple days ago was anything more than a warm-up; I''d had run-ins of one sort or another with every other harem member recently, and it felt like Rachel was due.


    I''d just settled down into my thinking chair when someone knocked at the door. Before I could say anything, my dad just barged right in. Gee, thanks for respecting my privacy, Dad.


    "Hey, kid. Your mother tells me that you''ve got a bit of a girl problem." He shut the door, pulled out the folding chair that I keep tucked under my desk, sat down, and cleared a spot for the notebook and pen he was carrying by simply shoving stuff into a pile out of the way. This is why I don''t usually want my parents in my room. Dad''s great, but he''s got no appreciation for a properly organized utter mess.


    "You could say that."


    Dad sighed theatrically. "Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much¡ª"


    "What? No, that''s not¡ª"


    Dad laughed and waved me back down. "I know, I know, kid. You''re stuck in a harem, and your mom wants me to help you brainstorm a way out. We are going to have a sex talk right now, though."


    "What the¡ªno way, why?!" I''m not a religious person, but I was seriously tempted to take up prayer right then in there on the off chance that a divine miracle could prevent a repeat of the fiasco of my thirteenth birthday.


    "Simple!" said Dad with a huge grin as he folded back the cover of his notebook and uncapped his pen. "Manga don''t include sex talks."


    <hr>


    Ten minutes later, I had a renewed and comprehensive appreciation for the ins and outs of heterosexual intercourse¡ªpun very much intended, thanks so much for that one, Dad¡ªand Dad was happily tearing up a piece of paper into infinitesimal flakes.


    I could see why Mom looped him in so fast. He was really good at this.


    "So, on to the topic at hand," said Dad as he carefully deposited his paper scraps in the dusty waste basket under my desk. "I don''t have any direct personal experience with harems outside of the Lab and my admittedly febrile imagination¡ª"


    I groaned. Really, Dad? Right after the sex talk repeat?


    "¡ªbut there''s one question you have to ask yourself regardless of genre: when the manga ends, what do you want to have accomplished? No, don''t answer right away! This is important. See, your mother said you were pretty worked up about being trapped in a manga, and I can understand that. Having control of your life suddenly wrenched away is horrible. But here''s the thing: you never had control of your life in the first place. You just didn''t have some ineffable force screwing around with you. If you keep that expression on your face, it''s going to stick like that, young man. Think about this. You have a broad grounding in manga, and judging from what your mother said you identified your genre incredibly quickly. That means that you are uniquely suited to take advantage of your situation. Now, I''m guessing Emily was a casualty of your genre and you''re probably still salty about that, but I''m telling you this in all seriousness, Xavier¡ª" Dad leaned over and stared at me hard. "¡ªYou will never have a harem of beautiful women fawning over you again, because that''s not how reality works. So, I''ll ask you again: what do you want to accomplish?"If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    That¡ªwas not remotely what I was expecting Dad to say. "What are you saying I should do, Dad?"


    "I''m not trying to push you into anything, Xavier. I just think you shouldn''t immediately dismiss being in a manga as this horrible thing."


    He must have seen my deep and abiding skepticism painted all over my face.


    "Don''t get me wrong," said Dad. "If I could go back in time and prevent your mother from ever experiencing the Labyrinth Obscura I would do so in a heartbeat and damn the consequences. Being trapped in a manga storyline can be horrific, I''m fully aware. But on the other hand, Hana would never have given me a second glance if weren''t for her manga. Being a character in a manga directly granted me the most important things in my life, so all I''m suggesting is that you take the good with the bad."


    Dad leaned back and began playing with his pen. "I''m on your side, kid. Whatever you want to do, I will try to help make it happen. I just want you to think hard about all your options. I''m not suggesting you try to be some sort of player; you''ve never been that kind of person, and I''m thankful for that. But I do think it would do you good to try and get to know these girls in your harem a little more while you''re still in a risk-free environment. That is¡ªyou''re not in an ecchi or hentai harem, are you?"


    I gave him a look, and he visibly relaxed.


    "Thank goodness for that. I was worried I''d just given you some really irresponsible advice." He laughed nervously. "Oh man, Hana would have definitely done something she''d regret if I''d pushed you into trying to get emotionally intimate with a hentai heroine."


    "Can I give this some thought, Dad?" I asked.


    "Sure thing, kid," he said, standing up and ruffling my hair. "You know where to find me when you''ve got your thoughts in order."


    <hr>


    After Dad left, I jumped out of my thinking chair and started pacing around the room. Was he right that I was thinking about this wrong? Could I live with an ongoing harem and find some sort of silver lining to it all?


    I wasn''t confident about that at all. How much of my life was I going to waste cultivating harem relationships that were ultimately doomed to failure? I mean, here I was a couple weeks into school and I''d barely interacted with my closest friends, never mind my casual acquaintances. What if I tried to play along with this manga and ended up a social outcast with no friends as a result? That didn''t bear thinking about.


    On the other hand, Dad was right that actively trying to get closer to the girls was virtually risk-free. Outside of drama harems, which usually twist the genre on its ear by faithfully producing the back-biting and darkness that would likely underlie any actual harem dynamic, harem protagonists are always restrained from getting too close to any given harem member because it would upset the whole premise.


    Mom told me I could accelerate, subvert, or break the genre. She seemed to have taken it as a given that I would want to get out of this situation as fast as possible, but didn''t have any concrete ideas for how to do that. Or else maybe she did have some ideas and she was just staying quiet about them until I was truly desperate. Now that I thought of it, that was entirely likely. Given her past experiences, not to mention her anger management issues, I couldn''t imagine that Mom would be likely to suggest any plan with much subtlety to it.


    Then along comes Dad and suggests that I should what¡ªjust sit back and enjoy the ride? I was more than a little suspicious that Dad merely wanted to vicariously enjoy a harem through his son, the way the fathers of a few of the kids I''d known had forced them into sports. Far as I could recall, that had never ended well.


    Despite all that, Dad clearly had some concrete ideas for how to get around the genre. His little demonstration with the sex talk demonstrated that quite effectively. I was definitely going to need his input and expertise if I wanted to get out of this manga without wrecking my life or wasting a bunch of time on experimentation.


    So what did I want to accomplish, then? I wanted out of my manga as soon as possible. I didn''t want to be saddled with a girlfriend just because the genre said I needed one. Honestly, I was halfway hoping that Emily might move back after the manga concluded, though that was out of my control. Ugh, and I kind of wish I hadn''t taken the time to think this stuff through because I just realized something unfortunate: I didn''t want to hurt the girls in my harem, if I could help it. With the possible exception of Samantha, I legitimately liked them all as people, even if I didn''t particularly want to date any of them. Ha, and was that an attitude that had no place in a manga or what?


    Though, hmmm. That gave me a possible idea for subverting this thing. I wonder if genre was the only thing I could subvert? Guess I needed to talk to Dad.


    <hr>


    I don''t know where he thought I''d be expecting him, but after checking just about every room in the house I found Dad in the Lab re-reading one of the harem classics. Boy was I glad slapstick violence wasn''t a part of my particular harem. Yeesh.


    "Figure out what it is you want to do?" asked Dad, setting his manga aside.


    "Yeah, kind of," I said. I checked under the table and behind the chairs, then closed the door, sat down, and laid the piece of paper and pencil I was carrying down on the side table. "So, I never thought I''d say something like this, but¡ªyou up for giving me that sex talk a third time?"


    Dad laughed out loud. "Well you see, Xavier, when a man loves a woman very much, or maybe just thinks she''s extraordinarily hot¡­"

 Harem Scarem: 022

    Harem Scarem: 022


    Sunday morning found me feeling much more like my old self again, in more ways than one. I was still hacking up half a lung when I got up in the morning, but after a cup of tea and an hour upright I could barely tell I was still in the final stage of recuperating. I had a tentative plan for accelerating my way out of this damn manga without sacrificing parts of my life or being a total jerk, and Dad thought it would work which made me hopeful for the first time in a while.


    The question was how to kick things off. Rachel was out of bounds. I was still pretty sure she was the Main Girl, so any action I took with her was either headed for a relationship or externally-induced complications. I was leery to experiment with Jill, since the childhood friend was a common fallback so she might present the same issues as Rachel. Paula was a solid choice, but I wasn''t wholly confident in my ability to handle her if things went sideways. Ms. Cari?o damn well better not be in the harem, so I''d decided it was best to just pretend Wednesday evening never happened and hope for the best.


    Which left Samantha. Oddly enough, I had zero problems with using her as a guinea pig to test the viability of this approach. The question was how best to approach her.


    Then again, perhaps I could enlist the help of an insider.


    It took some searching, but I eventually found Vickie stretched out behind the couch on her stomach, reading a manga.


    I''ve probably mentioned this, but Vickie is kind of weird. For as long as I can remember, she has loved lurking underneath tables and behind furniture. Most kids will play wherever the toys are, but in my family we were constantly stubbing our toes on playthings that she''d stashed under the dining room table. These days that wasn''t such a problem, but if I wanted to have a private conversation anywhere other than my room, I always had to check a few odd places for Vickie.


    I knelt on the couch and looked down at Vickie over the back. "Hey, Vickie."


    She glanced up then returned to her book, clearly disinterested. "What?"


    How to put this? Oh well, this was Vickie, after all. She probably wouldn''t care. "What''s the deal with Samantha?"


    That earned me a suspicious look. "What do you mean?"


    "You two are friendly, right? Is she always so¡­tsundere with you, too?"A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    "Oh, that. Ask her yourself."


    Ah, so my hunch was right! She did act differently around Vickie. I had wondered why Vickie would put up with that brand of absurdity. Usually if something annoyed her, she was not shy about pointing it out. She''d had some pretty epic fights with friends when she was younger thanks to that, if memory served.


    This was valuable intel, but perhaps if I pressed a little more¡­ "Aha! So it''s an act! What''s she really like, then?"


    Vickie gave me a look. Why is it siblings are so good at communicating "you are the scum of the earth" with nothing more than their eyes? "Ask her. Yourself. Now go away; Kyoko is about to stick it to this know-it-all producer."


    Well heaven forbid I get in the way of important work like that. "Fine, I''ll leave you to it if you tell me something that Samantha likes."


    "I''m not doing your dirty work for you, Xavier." Ooh, someone was still angry about the onii-chan incident, if I didn''t miss my guess. Well, whatever. I had enough to work with.


    If Samantha was intentionally acting like a tsundere, then that meant she was very likely aware of manga, anime, or light novels. I couldn''t be sure which, and I had no idea why she had adopted that persona, but that info gave me an idea how to proceed.


    I sat down on the couch and scooted it back a bit.


    "Hey!" shouted Vickie.


    "Oops, forgot you were there."


    Now, to make this work I was going to need to do a little planning. I got out my phone and booted up the Maps app. Hm, good; I''d have to get someone to drop us off, but everything I needed was within walking distance after that.


    Operation Not-Quite-A-Date was a go.


    <hr>


    Dad''s little pep talk had reminded me that although harem protagonists are largely victims of happenstance, I didn''t have to be. Knowing the popular tropes meant that I had a reasonably good chance of encouraging a specific outcome if I set things up properly. In this case, my goal was to get a little closer to Samantha without triggering too many romance flags, and the method I''d lit upon was the not-quite-a-date shopping trip. Although I didn''t know anything about Samantha''s likes and dislikes¡ªthanks for being so helpful, Vickie¡ªgetting her to agree to go shopping with me should offer a predictable framework in which to try a few things out. I checked with Dad, and sure enough he was free to drive us next Saturday.


    First things first, though: I needed an excuse. This wouldn''t have worked very well with Jill or Paula, but Samantha''s budding friendship with Vickie offered me a great opportunity; and fortunately, I had Samantha''s contact information from the first day of school.


    Hey, Vickie''s b-day is coming up in a couple months, I texted. Need to get her a present, but unsure what. You available next Saturday to help shop?


    Resist that, if you can! Sure enough, a couple minutes later¡­


    You don''t even know what to get your own sister? You''re a terrible brother. But I suppose I''m free. What time?


    Was planning on Barnes & Novel south of Outlet mall around 10:30. Meet me there, or you need a ride?


    A little while later: I''ll meet you there.


    Hook, line, and sinker. Now I just had to survive another week and hope for a lack of harem hijinks until I could start put my nascent plan into motion.

 Harem Scarem: 023

    Harem Scarem: 023


    Despite jinxing myself by hoping for an easy week, the following week was in fact a return to routine for me. We were building up a set of useful phrases in Japanese as we simultaneously learned basic sentence structure, expanded our vocabulary, and worked our way through the hiragana syllabary. Classic Literature was devoted to trudging through ancient Greek "classics", complete with incest, self-mutilation, and other wholesome topics every schoolchild should be educated on. Jill continued to put the lie to male physical supremacy in P.E., and I was having grave doubts over my choice to fulfill my math requirement with Pre-Calculus. Fortunately, Rachel has a better head for numbers than I, so I was able to survive the homework by occasionally enlisting her aid in understanding just what the hell was going on and why I should care. Well. At least she helped me understand what was going on. I sure hoped the first test was a take-home test, because otherwise Xavier''s in a pinch!


    Ugh, maybe the last week had been too peaceful; manga-isms were creeping into my normal thoughts.


    Lunch continued to be the most fraught time during my day, but even that was starting to settle into routine. A couple of times over the week I noticed askance looks from people passing our table that brought me back to the reality that it was pretty weird I was sitting surrounded by babes (and Samantha). But otherwise the presence of my harem members was starting to just feel...normal.


    In retrospect, that was kind of frightening. Maybe a more exciting week would have been a good thing.


    In any case, the weekend was upon me, and with it my unofficial date with Samantha in the first battle of my campaign to uncover her backstory so I could maneuver her out of my harem.


    With that thought in mind, I girded myself for battle: a pair of my dressier slacks that Mom had bought me when my Uncle Jon had his Manly Man party. They were a little short around the ankles at this point, but hopefully Samantha wouldn''t notice. I didn''t really have anything fancier than a t-shirt, so I raided my Dad''s closet and secured a polo shirt that I''m pretty sure I''ve never seen him wear. Smelled alright, at least, and if not fashionable, it was at least different than what I normally wear.


    At the cost of some flirtatious ribbing, I had sounded out Paula and determined that she was likely working, which meant as long as I avoided the mall, I should avoid encounters on that front. Rachel was home-bound, and since Dad was ferrying me to my meeting with Samantha and Mom was taking Vickie to a weekend cheer thing of some sort, I didn''t anticipate Rachel showing up out of nowhere. Jill was a bit of a wild card, but I vaguely recalled that the cross-country team practiced in the morning on weekends, so she''d hopefully be off running around the woods or something.


    I checked my itinerary, made sure my phone had the appropriate alarms programmed and was on vibrate mode, and headed out the door with Dad in tow.


    <hr>


    We arrived in the parking lot for Barnes & Novel a good 45 minutes early, but I shooed my dad off anyway. Any manga protagonist worth his salt beats his date to the appointed meeting spot so she can find him leaning up against something looking cool. I wasn''t so sure I could pull off "cool," but I could manage an early arrival.


    While I kept a weather eye peeled for Samantha I wasted time on my phone. If I''d read her correctly, she was the type to arrive early and then berate the person she was meeting over arriving after her, even if they were in fact early. Sure enough, about 10:20 I spotted her getting out of a rather beat-up pickup. I slipped my phone in my pocket and did my best to loiter nonchalantly.


    "Oh, Xavier!" said Samantha as she approached me. "You''re early. Did you wait long? I mean, not that I really care¡­"


    Ah, there was the tsundere we all knew and¡­well, that we all knew.


    "Nope!" I lied with as much forced cheer as I could muster. "I just got here." There, one manga stereotype successfully initiated. Standing around outside B&N had been super annoying, but having the exact manga clich¨¦ that I''d been aiming for trigger was kind of a rush. Mwa ha ha, the power! Hopefully, this meant that I''d successfully initiated the "shopping date" trope.


    Samantha eyed me, but forbore to comment. I thought about commenting that she looked nice¡ªwhich was legitimately true¡ªbut was worried that would result in her commenting on my own non-normal get-up. The point was moot when she took the conversation in a different direction, anyway. "So when is Vickie''s birthday, anyway?"


    "November 30."


    "That''s¡­a ways off. Why are you so worried about getting her a gift now?"


    I shrugged. "I like to be prepared."


    "Mm-hm. Not that I particularly care, but when is your birthday, anyway?"


    Aw, crap. I clearly came up with the wrong excuse. Oh, well, I''d cross the birthday bridge when I came to it in a month or so. "October 21."This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    "That''s only about a month away! Well, good to know. Not that I want to celebrate your birthday with you or anything. Don''t get any weird ideas!"


    Not rolling my eyes was a supreme act of will that I sensed I would be exercising a lot over the next couple hours. "I wouldn''t dream of it. Shall we?"


    Like the gentleman I am, I opened the door for her, and we entered Barnes & Novel. I''d suffered a Birthday Reveal ambush, but Stage 1 of my plot to figure out Samantha was successfully underway.


    <hr>


    When I was younger, Barnes & Novel was basically just a bookstore with a few children''s toys to spice things up. Likely thanks to online booksellers, though, in recent years they had been diversifying in increasingly geeky directions. Now the local B&N featured board games, collectible figurines, and most importantly Japanese media: several shelves dedicated to manga, light novels, and anime. My plan was simple: I didn''t believe for a second that Samantha would answer direct questions, so I was found for a two-pronged attack. First, I''d try to lower her guard using the tried and true methods of the not-quite-a-date shopping trip trope, and as a fallback I planned to observe what attracted her interest at B&N. Since Vickie''s birthday wasn''t for another two months, give or take, I didn''t actually care about finding a gift for her, which left me free to devote my energies toward Samantha.


    Before I could go about any of my more complicated schemes, though, I needed to at least pay lip service to my stated purpose. "How about we browse a bit, and you let me know if you see anything you think Vickie would like?"


    That put paid to a good 15 minutes; we meandered around the store, and I cheerfully shot down every suggestion Samantha came up with. To be fair, they were all legitimately terrible. As far as I knew, the two had only ever hung out twice and it was pretty clear Samantha had no idea what Vickie really liked.


    With every rejected idea, Samantha got more and more tsun with fewer and fewer traces of any dere. I figured I''d pushed it about as much as I could without driving her off completely. "Maybe if we split up we can cover more ground. How about I head over there¡ª" I pointed off toward the fiction and self-help shelves, and then toward the manga, anime, and collectibles "¡ªand you try over that way."


    "Fine! Good idea! I was going to say that myself!" And off flounced Samantha. I gave her a few seconds head start, and then followed right after her.


    For whatever reason, at our local B&N the manga shelves are all half height, while the "proper" fiction is on shelves that are taller than me. That meant that Samantha was very easy to tail.


    I positioned myself a few shelves behind her and just followed along, ready to duck out of sight if she started to turn my way.


    Samantha initially headed straight for the shelves of manga, making me think that I''d already discovered her source of tsundere behavior. However, she browsed through the shelves very listlessly; as far as I could see, she didn''t appear to know much about what she was looking at. Guess maybe I hadn''t gotten lucky after all.


    She drifted over toward the collectible figurines, but didn''t even give them a glance. Had I guessed wrong about her? Was she actually a real-life, all-natural tsundere?


    Then with a furtive glance back toward the shelves she thought I was browsing, she zeroed in on the anime.


    Now this was not a girl looking for a present for a friend. Samantha moved with purpose through the shelves, zeroing in on particular series, checking prices, and all the while talking to herself half under her breath. I''d hit pay dirt, and she was so engaged I easily moved to the shelf just on the other side behind her so I could eavesdrop.


    "Mmm, that''s not a bad price. I wonder if Mom¡­but Xavier. Darn it." A box went back on the shelf, though she tapped it thoughtfully with a finger before pushing it home. "Ooh, a re-released Blu-Ray version? I wonder¡­hm, I think those are all the same special features. Oh well." Back another one went, and Samantha meandered down the aisle a bit before stopping and tearing a third box off the shelf. "Another re-release?! Damn it, make a third season already!"


    I couldn''t help myself. "They''re never making another season of that, Samantha. And the manga''s better, anyway."


    "Yeeargh!" With a truly bizarre shriek, Samantha jumped about a foot in the air, fumbled the Blu-Ray she was holding, dove for the floor to retrieve it, and spun around. "Xavier?! What¡ªI thought you were¡ªif you made me break this, you have to buy it! But it''s not like I want it or anything!"


    I couldn''t help it. She was so over-the-top I just started laughing. "I''m sorry, I''m sorry," I gasped as I tried to get my laughter under control and circled around the shelves to join her. "I just saw you over here staring at stuff so intently and I had to see what you were so interested in."


    Samantha opened and closed her mouth like she wanted to say something, but was evidently too nonplussed to come up with a good tsundere comment.


    "Seriously, that reaction was just so over the top¡­anyway, I really am sorry about surprising you like that. Is that anime any good? I assume you''ve seen it, based on what you were saying just now."


    "Yeeees," said Samantha, looking nervous. "I''ve seen it."


    "Well, was it any good? Like I said, the manga is great, but I haven''t actually watched the anime."


    "Wait, you''ve read the manga?"


    "Yeah, although not as often as Vickie. It''s one of her favorites."


    Samantha looked incredibly torn over something, but then thrust the case into my arms. "Then you should get her this for her birthday. It''s a great show, even if you probably are right that they''re never going to make a third season. And this edition contains both the first two seasons for the cost of one."


    "Thanks, Samantha," I said with real warmth. I think that might have been the first time she hadn''t felt the need to throw in a dumb tsundere comment. "This will make a great gift for Vickie, then."


    Samantha blushed, fidgeted, looked away. "Don''t worry about it," she muttered.


    Dammit, who knew she could be so cute? Kind of made me want to torment her and then make up just to see her dere side a bit more.


    Since I wasn''t your garden variety sadistic and/or clueless manga protagonist, though, I turned away and headed for the checkout with Samantha trailing behind. In my pocket, I felt my phone buzz; we were right on time.


    "So I''ll understand if you need to get home," I said over my shoulder, "but if you''ve got some time, would you like to grab some lunch? There''s a great little hole-in-the-wall teriyaki place down the block."


    "Sure, I guess," muttered Samantha, evidently not fully recovered from having her interest in anime revealed.


    I turned back and grinned to myself. Phase 2, successfully initiated.

 Harem Scarem: 024

    Harem Scarem: 024


    As I made my purchase and we exited Barnes & Novel, I was starting to feel nervous. Using B&N to determine if Samantha consumed Japanese media had gone almost too well. Now I had a difficult choice to make. I had planned all along to invite her out to lunch in order to cement our outing as not-quite-a-date; just shopping for my sister seemed insufficient. However, I needed to decide how aggressively to push her. Samantha was clearly off-balance, which meant that if I kept the pressure up I might get lucky and entice her into opening up about the root cause of her weird behavior. However, it seemed equally likely to me that pushing too hard too fast might accomplish the opposite; she might retreat into hard-core tsundere mode, and it would be a classic example of taking one step forward only to follow up with two back.


    In this regard, the manga trope was letting me down. I could predict any number of things that were likely to go wrong (the most likely being discovered by one or more harem members, then subsequently being poorly stalked by them for the duration of the "date"), but explicitly achieving a new level of emotional intimacy¡­well, that felt like it might be stretching the trope past its breaking point, and I wasn''t sure what would happen were I to do that.


    I was going to have to play it by ear, and that was frankly terrifying. I''ve never been very good at interpreting the emotions of the people around me, and despite now being convinced that Samantha was acting out a tsundere character for some reason, I still had no clue what her motivation might be.


    Samantha wasn''t giving me any clues at the moment, either. Aside from calling her mom to let her know that she''d be eating lunch with me, she was basically silent the entire walk to the restaurant.


    <hr>


    A chime on the door of Happy Teriyaki jangled as we entered. Honestly, I''d never eaten here. The pictures I''d found online certainly made it look like a hole-in-the-wall, and it generally has positive reviews, but it was still up to fate whether it would actually turn out to be great. Certainly the pictures of teriyaki they had posted as part of their menu didn''t look like anything special, and judging by the bulgogi, bibimbap, and kimchi listed prominently on the second half of the menu the owner or chef was probably Korean. Not that I was surprised; I''m fairly certain I''ve never been in a teriyaki place that was owned or operated by anyone of Japanese descent.


    Maybe for the same reason that Obaasan and Ojiisan refuse to eat American teriyaki. I''m guessing the main similarity it has with Japanese teriyaki is that a chicken is involved.


    In any case, we ordered at the counter, sat down, and descended into awkward silence while we waited for our food.


    This was not good. I needed Samantha to feel more comfortable around me, not less, and I was at a loss for good conversation topics other than anime. Which was bound to turn into more of an interrogation, because odd as it may seem, I''ve never really watched anime much. For whatever reason, there wasn''t any anime in the house, despite its close ties to manga. Maybe that was Mom''s influence; there wasn''t a TV in the Lab, so anime would necessarily have lived with the other videos, which might have been closer to home than she liked.


    "So," said Samantha at last. "Not that I''m curious or anything, but you read manga? Vickie had said she really likes it, but I didn''t expect¡­" She trailed off and watched me expectantly.


    Great, now I was panicking for a different reason. Evidently after all of this, I still instinctively shied away from revealing my manga habit. Which was stupid, especially since I was reasonably certain Samantha was a fellow nerd.


    Samantha was starting to look like she regretted opening her mouth. Dammit, Xavier, man up! "Yes! Yeah, I read a lot of manga. My dad has a huge manga collection, so we''ve all been reading it for years."


    "Really?" Samantha grinned, relief clear on her face. "Do you watch anime, too?"


    "Uh, no, not really. Not that I''m against it! It''s just not something we have in the house for some reason. I take it you''re the opposite?"


    "Well, sort of. My mom has a few old anime series that she likes to re-watch pretty regularly, but I''m the one who really got into it. She mostly just humors me, I guess. Doesn''t really watch the stuff that I like anymore, for the most part."


    I may be dense, but even I can spot an opening that obvious. "So what are your favorite series, then?"


    Samantha lit up like the stage at a Japanese pop idol concert, and for the next thirty minutes talked virtually non-stop. She barely even acknowledged the food when it arrived (turns out that Happy Teriyaki indeed served a pretty average plate of teriyaki; if I ever visited again I''d have to try the Korean dishes and see if that was what the folks online were loving on).The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    About the time I was pondering whether I really wanted to eat the rather lackluster "salad" that had come with my meal, Samantha finally wound down. "Um, I might have gone a bit overboard there."


    I waved that away with a smile. "Don''t worry about it. I don''t get to talk about Japanese media with anyone offline very often." I hesitated. Samantha had opened up more than I''d expected, and I decided to take a risk. "Look, don''t take this the wrong way, but I couldn''t help but notice that you haven''t been particularly, well, tsundere since we left Barnes and Novel. What''s that about, anyway?"


    Samantha froze. Shit, that came out completely wrong, didn''t it? "Wait, Samantha, that came out wrong¡ª"


    "Thanks for lunch," she said, stood, and walked out.


    Shit, shit, shit; pretty sure there were tears in her eyes. Thank goodness this was the sort of place where you paid for your meal in advance, because I scrambled after her without thinking for a second about paying the check. I barely remembered to grab the B&N bag with Vickie''s gift.


    I hit the street to find Samantha already halfway down the block, fumbling for her phone.


    "Samantha, wait!" I called out, hurrying after her.


    She spun around. "What do you want, Xavier? Is mocking me a really fun game for you?"


    "Look, Samantha, I''m really sorry. That came out completely wrong. Please give me a chance to explain?" I looked around, somewhat frantically. Thank goodness, by chance she''d headed in the direction I''d been meaning to go before I''d made a hash of things at the restaurant. This wasn''t quite how I''d imagined things going, but I may as well make use of my preparations. "There''s a little park about a block to the left; will you hear me out?"


    Samantha stared me down hard. "Fine! I don''t really care one way or the other, but I suppose I can at least listen to you for a few minutes."


    I''d never been so relieved to receive a dose of tsundere.


    <hr>


    The walk to the park was super awkward, but finally we arrived. It was about what I''d expected; a small play area for little kids, some benches around the edges for old codgers, and a bit of green space for dogs. Samantha and I grabbed a bench for ourselves, though with quite a lot of space between us.


    "Well?" she said, refusing to look at me.


    Ugh, we''d gone completely off the rails at this point. How was I going to salvage things? "Look, I really enjoyed hanging out with you today, and¡ªI mean, it just seems like a lot of the time you''re intentionally acting out a tsundere character and I''m really sorry if I''m completely off-base, but I really liked talking to you without¡ªwell, without the tsun, I suppose. And when I discovered that you like anime, I couldn''t help but think that it must be intentional, so I just had to ask¡­I''m really sorry. I didn''t mean to be a jerk."


    Samantha was quiet for a few moments. She didn''t seem to be angry, though. More like she just wasn''t sure what to say. I clamped down on the urge to spew any more apologies and waited.


    When she finally said something, it wasn''t anything I''d expected. "I''m not good at this, okay?!" She bit her lip, and now she looked furious and sad, but I had a feeling it wasn''t directed at me. "I never know what to say or do, and people just don''t like me! I''m too shy, nothing I say is clever, I''m just not good at making friends, I''m just not good enough. I don''t even have any shared interests, because who watches anime? No one at my middle school, that''s for sure. They think Japan is all karate and samurai and don''t care. So I figured, maybe I can change things for high school? I mean it happens in anime all the time, right? And I thought and thought about it, but you just can''t change who you are, and it''s scary! I don''t know what''s fashionable and I''m terrible at holding conversations and nothing was working, but then I tried acting like a tsundere and you ran into me and it worked! I met you, and Vickie, and Paula, and the others and I actually have people to talk to at school and do things with. So what do you want from me, anyway?"


    I had no answer to that, and Samantha was evidently done with the subject. She was still staring out across the park instead of looking my way, and had a bit of a hitch in her breathing, while I sat there like an idiot with absolutely no idea what to say.


    As the silence stretched, and Samantha gave a little half-hiccup, half-gulp and pulled out her phone, I realized that I was just proving to her that she was right: being genuine with me had brought her nothing but grief. Before she could unlock the phone, I forced myself to speak up. "You know, you''re the only person outside my family who knows that I''m a super manga geek."


    Samantha started and looked my way; it seemed she''d given up on the conversation continuing.


    "I tried to tell¡ªwell, anyway, I''ve always figured people would mock me if they knew I was binge reading what they would consider romance comics for teenage girls, among other things. So I just¡ªnever mentioned it. And you''re right, it''s hard when you can''t share the things you love with the people around you. I can understand where you''re coming from, there.


    "It''s just¡ªyou''re a lot cuter without twin-tails, and a lot more enjoyable to talk to when you aren''t pretending to be hostile. I dunno. I guess we all act in ways we think will appeal to the people around us or whatever, but I like you a lot more than any tsundere."


    "Thanks, Xavier," said Samantha softly, before unlocking her phone and sending off a quick text to someone. "I''ll keep that in mind, I guess. Um, see you at school." And without really looking at me again, she scurried off toward the road.


    I thought back over what I''d just said. Oh, shit. I know the whole plan was to get a little closer to Samantha in hopes of untangling her motivation for being a harem member, but I think I just kind of implicitly confessed to her there, didn''t I?


    And although I certainly had a more positive view of her now¡­there was no way in hell I wanted to date her.


    I texted my dad to let him know I needed picking up, and stared morosely over at the swings I''d been planning originally to sit on with Samantha (that being a classic manga location for light emotional connections). Where was I going to go from here? At the moment, I hadn''t the faintest.

 Harem Scarem: 025

    Harem Scarem: 025


    I really wanted to get Dad''s input on how he would handle the Samantha situation that I found myself in, but I also felt like that would be a major breach of trust and I was on thin ice with her anyway. In the end, I didn''t say much on the way home, and Dad didn''t pry.


    Back home, I headed straight upstairs and collapsed into my thinking chair. I definitely could have handled that encounter better, but I''d also gotten a lot out of it. She might have been borderline furious when it happened, but Samantha had opened up to me. Not only that, but for a solid chunk of our not-a-date excursion I was interacting with the actual Samantha, instead of her tsundere persona. That was a solid win in my book, not least because I now knew for certain that it was a persona.


    Okay, so then what did I need to do to get Samantha out of my harem?


    I had no clue. Hell, I''d probably just shoved her further down the rabbit hole. I wasn''t sure what possessed me to tell her she was cute, but that was definitely going to come back to bite me somehow.


    Alright, so more basic then: what did Samantha want? That was pretty easy, actually. She clearly had some sort of social anxiety or something going on and she wanted to fit in and be able to make friends. If I''d understood her correctly, she wasn''t in the harem due to romantic attachment so much as because it provided her with the social interaction she desired.


    By that logic, then, if I could improve her social skills, increase her confidence in herself, or just find her a social circle she would presumably not need the harem.


    Well, this was great; I wasn''t confident that I could accomplish any of those things. How do you make friends for someone else? Maybe if Vickie were a high school student I might be able to finagle something with her help, but she wouldn''t join us at Alburn High or another year.


    Hmm. I suppose I might be able to increase Samantha''s confidence in herself, but I was pretty sure that was going to require more than just talking to her. At minimum, I imagined she''d have to experience for herself that she can navigate social situations without her tsundere persona for anything I said to have any real weight. Which would mean that I somehow had to gain sufficient respect with her that my words have weight, and set up a situation where she could safely practice being sociable safely.


    Yeah, that wasn''t a high bar at all. Especially considering that the only ways I was likely to improve my relationship with her all involved her falling for me, making getting any closer to her an ever more dangerous balancing act.


    I rubbed my eyes. It was so incredibly tempting to just leave Samantha to her own devices for a while and focus on someone else, but that was exactly what the harem genre thrived on. Incremental equal progress, taking one step back for every two steps forward¡­a harem storyline was a multi-armed seesaw with me at the fulcrum.


    No, I definitely needed to stick to the plan, which meant I needed help.


    I went to find Vickie.


    <hr>


    I found Vickie sitting at the kitchen table working on homework. I stopped dead in the doorway and pointed dramatically. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister? Vickie would never sit at the table."


    "Ha ha ha," said Vickie. "You''re a riot. So how was your date with Samantha?"If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I slid into a seat at the back of the table so I was facing the room. "It wasn''t a date. And it went mostly okay."


    "Riiiight."


    "Look, have you and Samantha talked much? I know you''ve only actually met up a couple of times."


    Vickie narrowed her eyes at me and set down her pencil. "Are you trying to dig for info about here again? Because I already told you, if you want to know something, you should just ask her yourself."


    "No, no, no. I''m not trying to get you to spill her secrets or anything. Just¡ªare you two close?"


    "Eh. I like her. If you want to know how she feels you could, oh I don''t know, ask her."


    "No, I just mean like¡ªare you two friends?"


    Vickie made an exasperated noise. "Would you get to the point? What is it you want?"


    "Well, it''s just¡ªso I actually got a glimpse of Samantha without the tsundere and she''s a far more tolerable person that way. But from what she said, I don''t think she''s confident in her ability to make friends and I''d really like to help her get over that. So I was wondering if you could maybe¡­" I trailed off hopefully. I actually had no idea what I was hoping Vickie could do, but as the one person who I knew liked Samantha as a friend she was my best hope.


    Vickie put her face in her hand. "Xavier, I''m your thirteen-year-old sister, and even I know that trying to ''fix'' someone else''s issues¡ª" ooh, air quotes and everything "¡ªis a terrible idea. What do you expect to happen? People''s self-confidence issues don''t go away just because someone else tells them they''re bogus."


    "Right, I know. I just¡ªI don''t know, I guess I was hoping you could maybe invite her along if you go out with your friends sometime."


    Vickie stared at me for a while. "Maybe I will, but if I do that''s none of your business, isn''t it? Now if you''ll excuse me, I need to finish playing with prepositions."


    "Have fun with that."


    Well, that could have gone better, but maybe Vickie actually would invite Samantha out, which was all to the good, as far as I was concerned. Any positive social interaction that didn''t involve me was bound to do her good, and hopefully start easing her toward exiting the harem.


    However, I doubted that passively hoping my little sister would take care of things was going to be enough. Guess it was time to go back to the drawing board. Or I could talk to Dad! Now that I''d had some time to cool down, I thought I could get some good help from him without betraying Samantha''s trust.


    Having people able and willing to help me with this dilemma was really nice.


    <hr>


    Dad turned out to be in the backyard pruning bushes. "Hey Dad, can we talk for a bit?"


    He immediately got a crafty look in his eye I knew I wasn''t going to like. "Sure, Xavier! Grab those pruning shears, and we can talk as long as you want!"


    Great. Dad hated lawn work with a passion, which meant that Mom must have forced him out here and now I''d just gotten myself roped into it, too. I sighed. "Sure, Dad."


    We got clipping, and for a bit the air was filled with the scent of rhododendron sap. Finally, Dad spoke up. "So what''s eating you, kid?"


    "I think I''ve cracked how to resolve one of my harem sub-plots, but I need to find a way to increase the girl''s confidence in her own ability to make friends."


    "Ooh, that''s a tough one. And participation in your harem isn''t enough?"


    Huh, I hadn''t thought about that. Finding friendship with other girls in a harem was indeed a standard plot point. However, Samantha was a grade younger than all of us, plus her harem relationships were all founded on her tsundere persona. "I don''t think that will be enough in this case."


    "Okay, that means you''re going to have to get a little creative. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few instances where harem members can work on their social skills, but not all of them translate across cultures very well." Dad fell quiet, and for a bit the only sound was that of our pruning shears murdering their way across the front of our respective bushes.


    "So, are you going to share?"


    "Heh, sorry. So first, there''s the group or class project. Sort of similar to that is participation in a school committee, but that''s pretty much exclusive to Japan. Second thing that comes to mind is the after-school karaoke meet-up, or gokon-style group date. And last, you could approach the issue a little differently and try to hook her up with one of your male friends."


    He was right; aside from the first and last options, those didn''t translate very well. On the other hand, I hadn''t thought of any of them, so that was legitimately helpful. "Thanks, Dad. That''s really useful."


    "Not a problem, kid! Now, where do you think you''re going? Surely you weren''t planning to abandon your poor father to this thankless task?"


    I sighed. And there went my afternoon.

 Harem Scarem: 026

    Harem Scarem: 026


    It was just as well I didn''t have any specific ideas for next steps to take with Samantha, because as soon as I stepped out of my front door Monday morning I knew they would have come to naught.


    "Jill," I said. "What are you doing here?"


    Rachel paused behind me, then continued past with a slight smile and nod to Jill before she continued on toward the bus stop. That girl was too considerate for her own good.


    Jill stared after her for a second. "She really is living with him," she muttered, before turning back to me with a grin. "I have to take the bus this morning, so since it''s on the way I figured I''d walk you to the stop."


    "Right. Okay." I closed the door behind me and tried to lock it, but the key was really fighting me for some reason. "Lock, damn it."


    "Aw, come on, Xavier," mocked Jill. She stepped up behind me, grabbed the key and my hand both, and gave a solid twist that threw the lock home. "You just have to put some muscle into it!"


    I turned slightly and gave her a flat stare, which was easier than I''d expected. She was close! Our noses were practically touching.


    "Whoops, sorry!" she said, skipping back. Wait, was Jill blushing? I had no idea how to deal with that. Also, you''re the one who suddenly jumped up and practically gave me a hug from behind, and now it''s somehow embarrassing? "Um, so, the bus?"


    I realized I''d been staring at her without saying anything. "Right, let''s go."


    As I walked down the steps, my phone dinged. It was a text from Rachel. Bus here. Where are you?


    "Shit, the bus is early today!"


    "What? Crap!"


    The two of us broke into a jog down the block, and arrived at the intersection just in time to see the bus'' tail lights turning the corner as it continued in its way.


    "Damn it!" I checked my phone. See you at school! Gee, thanks for that, Rachel. "Maybe my mom can drive us? I''m not sure she''s up yet, though, and ugh, waking her up is dangerous." I meant that literally. My sister Sasha still has a faint scar above her left eye where Mom nailed her with an alarm clock when Sasha woke her suddenly. Maybe if I just called to her softly from the hallway?


    "Let''s run."


    I glanced at Jill to see her eyes sparkling. "¡ªWhat."


    "The school is, what, maybe two miles from here? That''s not all that far. Let''s just run it."


    "Seriously, Jill? Running to school first thing in the morning wearing our backpacks? I''d rather¡ª"


    "What, you chicken?"


    "What are you, eight?!"


    "Bwok bok bok bok!"


    "No way! We''re not¡ª"Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    "Bwok bok bok double dog dare you! Come on! You can do it!" Jill was jogging in place and sort of drifting sideways around me, poking me wherever she found an opening.


    "Argh! Fine! Let''s go already! Stop poking me! And wipe that beatific smile off your face, you weirdo!"


    And that''s how I ended up jogging to school with Jill that fine Monday morning.


    <hr>


    Running two miles to school wearing your backpack and normal clothes is not very conducive to talking. Honestly, it''s not very conducive to thinking, either, but at least initially I managed.


    So here''s the thing about Jill: I think I mentioned that I didn''t want to try and deal with her inclusion in the harem initially because the childhood friend is a serious contender for Main Girl status. However, that wasn''t the only reason I was at a loss with her.


    We''d never been very emotionally intimate, but from what I''d picked up over the years, Jill''s home life is not great. Back in maybe early elementary school her dad and mom separated, and it was an acrimonious process, to say the least. Massive custody battle, lots of bad blood and family drama on both sides, with Jill and her brother caught in the middle. I knew from off-handed comments of Jill''s that even years later things were incredibly fraught with her father, and Jill was still being used alternately as a go-between and emotional blackmail piece. Granted, her dad wasn''t on the scene much¡ªher mother had almost full custody¡ªbut her home life was still a massive, ticking time bomb, as far as I could tell.


    Knowing that made me very leery of taking action with Jill. I''d been nervous facing down Samantha this weekend, but whatever her hang-ups with social interaction I was pretty sure they were less explosive than whatever landmines Jill was toting around.


    It wasn''t that I didn''t want to help Jill, but I was pretty sure that unless I was willing to fully commit to her any messing around with her heart was way more liable to lead to serious injury on her part and I didn''t want that, either.


    All that aside, in a very real way I also had a very difficult time keeping up with her.


    <hr>


    "Come on, Xavier. Walking already? Have you been training at all since track and field last year?"


    We were over half the way to the school, but I''d needed to drop down to a walk. "No! I don''t run for fun most of the time, you know."


    "You''ll never win with an attitude like that!"


    I growled at her. "I did alright last year."


    Jill hummed and hawed and wiggled her hand in a so-so gesture, then grinned and danced out of the way as I playfully tried to slug her on the arm.


    That was apparently a mistake, however. As she moved sideways, her foot twisted under her and she suddenly fell over. "Crap!"


    "Jill! You alright?" I reached a hand down to help pull her up. She wobbled on the way up, and only put weight on her foot with a grimace. "Did you twist your ankle?"


    "Maybe a little. Damn it! There''s a meet next weekend, too."


    Oh god. I could easily see where this was going. When a manga heroine twists her ankle, there is exactly one correct response, and much as I hated to play into a trope¡­ "I guess I could try to carry you on my back."


    Jill looked at me like I''d grown a second head, and broke down laughing. "What, with your backpack? For a mile?"


    I wanted to punch her so bad. "Shut up! So I got caught up in the moment," I grumbled. She just kept laughing. "Seriously, though, how are we going to get you to school? You should probably stay off that ankle until we can get nurse to look at it¡­I''ll call Mom; maybe she''s up by now."


    As I was getting out my phone, a car pulled up next to us and rolled down its passenger side window. It was Paula. "Hey, good-looking. You and your girlfriend need a lift?"


    "What are you, a creepy older pick-up artist?" I said, albeit with relief.


    "Lend me your shoulder," said Jill, and used me as a crutch to hop over to the passenger seat.


    "What happened to you?" asked Paula as I slid into the back seat after helping Jill.


    "Twisted my ankle on a rock like an idiot after we missed our bus," said Jill.


    "Hm," said Paula, and tossed her phone into the backseat. "Hey Xavier, give me your and Jill''s contact info, would you? This is on my way to school, and I''d be happy to drive you if this happens again. Wouldn''t want Ms. Sporty to be off her feet; I''ll bet you''re a hellion when you''re recuperating, eh, Jill?"


    Jill just shrugged and turned her attention out the window. She never did know how to handle Paula.


    I could relate to that, of course.


    I owed Paula one, though. Thanks to her, we made it to school on time, albeit barely, and when she waved me off and escorted Jill, I dodged a visit to the nurse''s office. Just as well. Jill really did need someone to look at her ankle, and if I went along there was a 100% chance the nurse would be mysteriously missing.

 Harem Scarem: 027

    Harem Scarem: 027


    I arrived at the Japanese classroom right as the bell was ringing and ducked into a second-row seat by the door rather than making for the area I usually sat. Seemed my usual territory was pretty well filled up, anyway, and judging by the way she huffed and looked away Samantha was tsundere to the hilt this morning, so no real loss there.


    As Shimamoto-sensei kicked off the lesson, I took some time to survey the class from my new vantage point. The bulk of the students were juniors and sophomores, with seniors and freshmen in the minority. The few seniors were no use to me; if I wanted to foster social interactions for Samantha somehow, they were a dead end. Sophomores and juniors were plentiful, but with only three weeks of school most of them were barely acquaintances to either of us. Despite my earlier intentions, I didn''t even know all of their names very well. As for the freshmen¡­


    There was Ethan, seated diagonally in front of me. He was kind of an odd one out in the class; very obviously a jock of some sort. I wasn''t really sure why as a freshman he was taking Japanese at all, given the limited electives freshmen had at their disposal. He''d looked sick to his stomach when Shimamoto-sensei had described the three different syllabaries on the first day, but I''d seen him pretty gamely doing his best in conversation practice. If I were a stereotypical otaku manga protagonist I would definitely be cursing him out as a damn normie, but honestly he just seemed like a normal guy trying to make the best of a dumb elective choice. In any case, probably the not the best target for friendship with Samantha. I was fairly certain self-absorbed jock-types weren''t in her strike zone.


    Next up was Silas, a boy who I was honestly a little scared to approach. Aside from the absolutely massive glasses he wore, he was one of those androgynously gorgeous boys that show up so often in "boy''s love" manga, or who are mistaken as girls by harem protagonists and then get looped into the harem as a sort of yaoi tease. As far as I was concerned, people could love whoever they wanted, but the way these characters were invariably treated as running jokes¡ªwho, in harem plotlines, almost universally were driven by the goal of "becoming manly"¡ªjust made me uncomfortable for some reason.


    Plus Silas appeared to have a far worse case of social anxiety than Samantha, judging by his hunched posture, refusal to meet people''s eyes, and soft-spoken method of answering questions from Shimamoto-sensei. Yeah, the danger of further enlarging my harem was higher than the potential payout, there.


    Third was Annabelle, a slight girl who had a blazingly-obvious crush on one of the juniors. Given her half-hearted approach to the class and obvious pursuit of a crush, I was pretty sure she was out.


    Last, my gaze drifted to a pair of girls who were sitting directly across from me on the other side of the room. Jewel and Amaya were both freshmen, both girls of color¡ªstill the minority here at Alburn High¡ªand both either enthusiastic or at least engaged in the class, so there was the possibility of some common ground with Samantha.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    In other words, they were perfect. All I needed was an excuse to get Samantha into their orbit.


    <hr>


    My chance came that Friday.


    "Okay, minasan!" called Shimamoto-sensei as class started Friday morning. "I''m sure you''re getting sick of talking about food, so it''s time for something fun. First, please get into groups of four people. Go!"


    "I don''t really want¡ª" started Samantha, but I cut her off.


    "Yeah, yeah, I''ll be in a group with you. Come on!"


    "Huh? Where¡ª"


    I led Samantha to the front left of the classroom where Jewel and Amaya were gazing around expectantly. "You two want to group up with us?"


    Jewel looked surprised and wary, but Amaya smiled. "Sure."


    "Please take seats near one another when you find your group!" called Shimamoto-sensei over the clamor.


    "Great! How about you snag those seats, Samantha, and I''ll go get our bags."


    Moments later, we were seated with Jewel and Amaya, and Shimamoto-sensei was working to regain control of her own classroom.


    "For this exercise, we''re going to do a little role-playing. The scenario is that you are a group of young people who are looking for something to do after school in Japan. I''d like each group to come up with their own script for a short interaction with one another; your script should include greeting one another and a short discussion about what you would like to do together. Next week each group will perform their skits in front of the class, and we''ll work on our listening comprehension. For today, I''d like you to brainstorm ideas about your scenario, and maybe practice some greetings. Alright, hop to it!"


    The four of us stared around at one another with the particular awkwardness of a bunch of relative strangers thrown together by circumstance. I really didn''t want to take the lead, but I guess¡ª


    "So!" said Amaya, taking charge. "Anyone know what kids in Japan do after school?"


    Come on Samantha, you definitely have some ideas to share. I watched her expectantly, but Samantha sat silently. Well, fine; I''m not above forcing the issue.


    "How about we debate whether or not we should go see the latest anime movie in theaters?" I said, blithely ignoring the silent fury emanating from Samantha''s direction.


    "Anime?" said Amaya.


    Unexpectedly, Jewel spoke up for the first time. "You''re taking Japanese and you don''t know what anime is?"


    Amaya shrugged and smiled.


    "Anime is Japanese animation," said Jewel.


    "So cartoons?"


    "Sort of."


    That evidently crossed the line for Samantha. "Anime is not cartoons! Cartoons are for kids, but there are anime shows for adults, teenagers, the whole gamut!"


    Samantha turned bright red as everyone in the group turned to her, and shut her mouth with an audible snap.


    "You watch anime?" said Jewel with audible excitement in her voice, and I knew I''d won.


    For the rest of the class I sat back and watched as Amaya bemusedly received a thorough grounding in recent anime series from Samantha and Jewel. Tsundere rehabilitation program step one: complete! Samantha was talking normally with people in her grade about her interests, which was exactly what she said she could never do.


    My refusal to let my friends know about my manga habit was looking dumber by the minute, though.

 Harem Scarem: 028

    Harem Scarem: 028


    I wasn''t home free by any means, but I was still feeling flush with success as I walked with Rachel from Pre-Calculus to the bus loop in front of Alburn High. Next week I was planning to scope out the lunch room again and see if I could spot Jewel or Amaya. If I could get Samantha hanging out with them outside of class, I figured she''d be out of the harem in no time (assuming I could avoid any weird manga coincidences with her going forward, but that was always something I''d have to play by ear).


    To my surprise, Jill met us there.


    "Hey, Xavier! Rachel," she called as she pushed toward us through the crowd of fellow bus riders.


    "Hey, Jill. You don''t have cross country practice today?"


    Jill grimaced. "I didn''t twist my ankle that much this morning, but Coach B still doesn''t want me to attend practice for a couple days to make sure it heals up right."


    "Rough."


    "Tell me about it. I''ll probably go stir crazy before the weekend is out." She looked at me hopefully.


    Sorry, Jill, I''m not taking that bait. If my plan is going to succeed I need to focus on Samantha right now.


    "What happened this morning?" asked Rachel. "I didn''t get a chance to ask how you made it to school."


    As Jill related the tale of our aborted attempt to run to school and subsequent rescue by Paula, I zoned out and watched the river of high school students flow by. I perked up a bit when I thought I saw Seamus, but he was lost in the press before I could wave or shoot him a manly nod or something.


    Come to think of it, I''d barely had a chance to give my normal friends the time of day since the school year started. I really should rectify that if I wanted to still have friends once I got my life back.


    The bus pulled up, and the three of us clambered on without incident. I even got to sit on my own for once, thanks to Jill only making it partway through her story before boarding.


    <hr>


    After breakfast Saturday morning my mom informed me that she and Rachel were headed over to visit Seamus'' mother, Min-ji Doyle, and that I was coming along at Seamus'' request.


    That was news to me; Mom tends to visit the Doyles once or twice a month, but this was the first time in a while I''d gone along. Once I was old enough to stay home alone, there wasn''t much impetus for me to tag along, after all. Seamus and my friendship had cooled by the middle of elementary school or so.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    Since the alternative was doing pre-calculus homework without Rachel around to bail me out when I inevitably got into trouble, though, I didn''t have any objections.


    As soon as we arrived at the Doyles'' house, Seamus hustled me away to his room while Rachel and Mom went to chat with his mother. Once we arrived, he shut the door with finality and sat on the bed while I claimed the only chair.


    Seamus'' room is pretty standard for a teenage boy; random toys and knick-knacks from his childhood lurking on the dresser and shelves, and posters randomly festooning the walls. Across from where I was sitting was a faded seascape filled with whales and other marine life partially overlapped by a newer poster featuring a soccer player for Seamus'' favorite team. Despite the clutter on various surfaces, the floor of the room was impeccably clean; Seamus has always had a weirdly neat streak underlying his bluff, sports-loving exterior.


    "Alright, Xavier, spill it," he said. "Who was that hottie you were standing with at the bus stop yesterday?"


    "Uh, that would be your cousin. Rachel? You remember her?"


    Seamus rolled his eyes and threw his pillow at me. "No, idiot, the other one. The sporty girl!"


    I threw the pillow back. "You mean Jill?" I guess Jill was good-looking, if you were into sports bras and short shorts.


    "Wait, that was Jillian? Jillian Guthrie?"


    "Yep." Come to think of it, Seamus and Jill knew one another back in elementary school. Given how much Seamus enjoyed team sports, I was surprised he''d lost touch with her. Maybe because he never tried out for the school teams?


    "Damn." Seamus leaned back against the wall and looked contemplative. "I haven''t seen her in ages. She dating anyone that you know of?"


    "No, Jill''s unattached." Oh wait. Oh man oh man. What was it Dad had suggested as a method for dealing with Samantha? That I should try and hook her up with one of my male friends? This was a golden opportunity if ever I''d seen one. "You should ask her out. I think you two would really get along." You pair of meat-heads.


    "Yeah? Maybe I will."


    "You should go for it. Jill''s great, and she''s definitely not seeing anyone right now." Plus or minus a harem membership. Hmm. Now I thought of it, she might just reject Seamus outright. I wonder¡­ "If it looks like she''s waffling, though, maybe see if she''ll give you an answer a little later? I don''t think she''s had much practice with relationships, so she might need a little space." And knowing manga logic, if she was conflicted about a potential relationship she''d probably try to sound me out. Her being in the harem meant she was likely either dealing with budding feelings for me, or given the childhood friend angle more likely had realized that she''d always liked me or similar baloney. Given her behavior, though, I didn''t think she was actually in love with me. More like a manga-inspired passing infatuation.


    "So what about you, Professor X? Did I hear that Emily moved away over the summer?"


    "Ah, yeah. Yeah, she did."


    "Damn, that sucks, man. You long-distancing that shit or what?"


    "No; no, we broke up."


    Seamus grimaced. "That really sucks."


    I shrugged. Yeah, didn''t really have much I could say to that. Ugh, now I was missing Emily fierce.


    "So what are you up to these days, then? I haven''t really seen you around school much."


    "Same old, I guess." Evidently Seamus wasn''t aware of the harem, and I felt no need to clue him in. I had a feeling that would result in endless ribbing and not much else.


    We chewed the fat for a while longer, and then at Seamus'' suggestion went out to play a little basketball in his driveway while our mothers finished catching up.


    I admit, Seamus isn''t really someone I like hanging out with usually, but it was nice. I definitely needed to invite Hayden to hang out someday soon, because no-stress, harem-less time with friends had a lot to recommend it.

 Harem Scarem: 029

    Harem Scarem: 029


    The next few days passed without incident. Samantha, Jewel, Amaya, and I successfully planned and acted out our little skit for the class, and possibly thanks to me taking a back seat most of the time Samantha overall managed to suppress her tsundere inclinations.


    On Wednesday, I was a little slow to pack up my bag after Classic Lit and Mr. Kaczkowski caught me on my way out of the class. "Hey, Xavier, you''re headed to lunch, right? Would you run these books over to the storage room?"


    I was instantly on my guard. This smelled like a manga plot point just waiting to happen. Like I''d take the books only to discover Paula was already there on a similar errand and we''d somehow get locked in together. Or I''d be staggering down the hall and Jill would come rescue me by taking half the books, and we''d again get locked into the storage room together. Or I''d somehow get locked into the storage room, only to be rescued by Rachel. Basically, manga protagonists end up stuck in a lot of storage rooms. On the plus side, I had no idea what he was even talking about so maybe I could weasel out of this. "Storage room?"


    "Yeah, it''s the door in that little alcove right near the library. The librarian can let you in if it''s locked."


    Yeah, and then lock me in as soon as I turn my back. "Uh¡­"


    "Aw, come on, Xavier, help me out. Consider it extra credit."


    Ugh, lunch was a-wasting. "Alright, sure thing." I grabbed the stack of books, which indeed came up right to my chin, and headed for the door.


    "Thanks, Xavier! I''ll give you a freebie on the next quiz or something."


    I''d rather he gave me a doorstop.


    I navigated the crowded hallways in a bit of a funk, trying to balance my need for a speedy delivery with my desire to avoid playing 30-odd book pick-up. The library is on the first floor, kind of tucked in awkwardly near the offices in the central part of the building south of the cafeteria. As I turned into the stairwell, I happened to glance up toward the third floor, and there was Paula. Shit, I hadn''t actually expected to have a random encounter with her. Thankfully, she was doing something on her phone as she walked and hadn''t spotted me.


    I hustled as fast as I could down to the first floor, and ducked into the bathroom that was immediately adjacent to the foot of the stairs.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    "Whew, I think I made it," I said, mostly to myself.


    The sounds of people peeing suddenly cut off, and I looked up to find a row of young men standing in front of urinals staring at me over their shoulders.


    ¡­I was still carrying a classroom''s worth of Greek tragedies. Right.


    Well, when in doubt, give a manly nod. Works every time. And with a quick sidestep, I managed not to knock the top book onto the floor!


    "What the hell?" I heard, as I stepped cautiously out of the bathroom and speed-walked my heart out down the hall. Paula would hopefully have headed north toward our usual table at this point, so I should be in the clear.


    "Whoa, Xavier!" I heard Jill call from somewhere behind me. "You want some help with that?"


    "Nope, I''m all good! Save me a seat, will you?"


    There was no way in hell I was setting foot in that storage room, because I was evidently some sort of prophet and I''d really rather not spend the next period locked in with a bunch of classic literature.


    Well, why tempt fate? The storage room was right were Mr. Kaczkowski said, but I went straight to front desk in the library instead. "Mr. Kaczkowski sent these. He said they should go to the storage room?" I set the whole stack down on the counter with a solid thump.


    The librarian grunted. "Leave ''em there. I''ll put them away." Well that went better than I expected, although I could have sworn he grumbled something involving "Kaczkowski" and the phrase "lazy asshole" under his breath as I turned to go.


    Guess I wasn''t getting locked inside any storage rooms today!


    I strode confidently out of the library, and practically ran straight into Samantha coming down the hall.


    Ah, right. Of course that would happen.


    "Xavier!" she exclaimed, stopping short. "What¡ªI mean, not that I care, but what are you doing here anyway?"


    "I''m heading to lunch." After running that short gauntlet, I was evidently in a weird mood, because I followed up by poking her in the forehead. "Doofus."


    The look of apoplectic fury as Samantha spluttered prior to marching down the hall just in front of me was totally worth it.


    As we passed the cafeteria, Samantha suddenly slowed. I followed her gaze and there were Amaya and Jewel eating lunch together. Amaya waved and Jewel smiled as Samantha dithered in place. What was this? Had a manga-style coincidence just triggered in my favor? Hell yes!


    I gave Samantha a gentle push from behind. "Why not sit with them today?" She gave me a look like I''d just run over her pet dog and told her she should just bury him and get over it. "You can always sit with us tomorrow, if you really want."


    "It''s not like I¡ª"


    Right. I was talking to Samantha. Why was I trying to be supportive again? I poked her in the forehead a second time, rocking her back on her heels. "What is it a tsundere always has to hear before she can achieve happiness? Oh right. Be honest with yourself! You doofus." I gave her a final forehead poke for emphasis, and because her reactions were honestly hilarious.


    As Samantha ramped up toward incandescent rage, I waved jauntily to the bemused Jewel and Amaya and headed on my way.


    Samantha didn''t eat with us for the rest of the week, sat with Amaya and Jewel in Japanese, and when she showed up to the improv meeting Thursday evening she spent the whole time alternately ignoring me and griping about Paula when Paula was onstage (and thus not near enough to retaliate).


    Time would ultimately tell, but I was pretty sure that Samantha was on the road to rehabilitation.


    One down, three to go.

 Harem Scarem: 030

    Harem Scarem: 030


    I now had a dilemma. Samantha and Jill were both on trajectories that could lead out of the harem, which meant my next obstacle was Paula. And I had absolutely no clue how to deal with Paula.


    The thing was, I couldn''t figure her motivation at all. She was two years my senior, which meant that she should have been hanging out with other seniors, or maybe juniors on the outside. Instead she was spending a significant amount of time with a mixed group of sophomores and one freshman. She enthusiastically joined the improv club, but I''d never heard her say anything about any other extracurricular activities. Hell, she barely talked about herself at all. I knew she was working part-time at the Stirbucks in the Outlet, too, so I wasn''t sure if she even had free time to spend with anyone other than her fellow harem members and me.


    Add to that the fact that just about whenever I tried to interact with her I ended up getting flustered when she inevitably started teasing or flirting, and I had no idea what I was going to be able to do about her.


    As I worried over the issue, two weeks passed. Nothing much happened. Seamus clearly hadn''t said anything to Jill¡ªnot terribly surprising, really, given she was rarely anywhere to be found outside of school hours thanks to cross-country¡ªand Samantha had eventually started roughly alternating eating with Amaya and Jewel and spending lunch with the harem. She was still kind of pissed with me over literally shoving her at her two new friends, but that just meant she aimed the tsundere mainly at Paula, so I can''t say that I minded.


    I realized dithering over Paula wasn''t doing me any good, but to be fair I did have a good distraction. My 16th birthday was coming up, which as far as I was concerned meant one thing: my driving test was fast approaching.


    <hr>


    My birthday is on October 21, which this year fell mid-week. I''d passed the written test over the summer, and had the practical driving test scheduled for the Saturday after my birthday. My mom had asked if I wanted a party, but given the high likelihood it would devolve into some sort of harem scenario, I declined. As a result the Wednesday of my actual birthday we went out for dinner and had an ice cream cake at home with just family. Well, family and Rachel, of course. At this point she was pretty much a Brock, for all practical purposes. I guess maybe that was working in my favor, too, because it had been a long while since I had anything that screamed "harem scenario" involving Rachel.


    Saturday morning rolled around, and Mom drove me over to the local DMV. The driving test went pretty well, although I had a bad moment while trying to parallel park. Missed the car in front of me by several inches, though, so it all worked out. After waiting around for a while afterward, the good news came down: I''d passed! I got an awful picture of myself taken, they printed out a temporary license, and I blissed out in the passenger seat while Mom drove us home. That test had been surprisingly stressful; something about having an adjudicator watching my every move really brought home the fact I was moving a couple tons of metal around at speed.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    I was super happy I''d passed it, though. We''d still be sharing the same pair of family cars, but now that I didn''t need to rely on a parent to ferry me around my world just got a lot bigger.


    We pulled into our driveway, and Mom shepherded me toward the front door. I was still so happy at my relative freedom that I didn''t really think about why we might be going in the front instead of the back.


    Until I opened the door and found myself staring at Rachel, Jill, Samantha, Vickie, my Dad, Hayden, Seamus, and Jesse. "Surprise!"


    "Ack!" I said, and involuntarily started to take a step back, only to trip over my own foot. Shit, I hadn''t done this in weeks!


    As I started to go over backward, Mom grabbed at my arm but only succeeded in hitting it. This spun me halfway around, and I desperately tried to get my feet back under me.


    I failed, and I threw up my arms in an attempt to catch myself as I started to fall down the front steps.


    Instead of face-planting on the walk or the lawn, though, I found myself colliding and tangling with Paula and we both went down in a heap.


    <hr>


    I may have mentioned that manga harems, and rom-coms more generally, love their coincidences. Well, there''s a particular favorite in harems: boy (or girl) falls over. Unpictured, typically physically improbable, actions briefly ensue on the way to the ground. Boy is left on top of girl in one of three main situations:


    <ol>


    <li>Straddling her, while girl''s clothing is mysteriously hiked up and she stares up at him in either shock or seduction (depending on the genre). Because, you know, landing on your tailbone doesn''t hurt at all so of course pain isn''t a likely expression.</li>


    <li>Face down in her cleavage.</li>


    <li>Face down on top of her with a hand firmly groping a breast. This usually results in a lengthy breast massaging session, as the protagonist absentmindedly wonders what this strangely textured thing his hand has landed on could possibly be.</li>


    </ol>


    I got option number three. I have literally no idea how I managed to end up with a hand on Paula''s chest when I''d been trying to catch myself. There must have been some special manga magic, because I''m fairly certain that under normal circumstances even if I accidentally groped her on the way down I would have ended up with my hand on the ground simply because that''s the direction her breast curves, and no one tries to grab the ground when they''re falling face forward: they try to land open palm.


    But still, here we were. I scrambled off her so fast, she probably didn''t even notice.


    "Shit, that hurt!" exclaimed Paula as I levered myself off her. She grimaced and pushed herself into a sitting position.


    "Are you alright?" I asked from where I was kneeling nearby. Thanks to Paula''s last-minute intercept I was jarred and my knees felt a bit scraped up, but nothing hurt particularly badly.


    A chorus of similar queries came from behind me as the whole crowd tried to force its way out the door. I swear I heard my dad say, "Classic!" in the background. Dammit, Dad.


    "Yeah, yeah, I''ll be fine."


    I stood and offered Paula a hand, which she took and used to pull herself up. It caused me to stumble a half step forward; Paula was heavier than I''d expected.


    Though I''m pretty sure she''d say the same thing about me.


    "Well," said Paula, wincing a little as she straightened up and looked over the concerned group of people bumping one another down my front steps. "Let''s get this party started!"


    I trailed the rest of them into the house. I''d gotten complacent over the last couple weeks, but it looked like the genre was back to mess with me with a vengeance.

 Harem Scarem: 031

    Harem Scarem: 031


    I stared at the group of people who had gathered in my living room, bemused. I wasn''t sure who was responsible for this party, but the guests were a weird confluence of my normal friends, family, and harem. I was at a loss over what to say or how to act.


    Fortunately, my dad stepped up before things got too awkward. "Congrats on getting your license, kid!"


    "Yeah, and happy birthday!" said Jill. A chorus of "happy birthdays" and "congratulations" followed as the rest of the group chimed in, and the ice was officially broken.


    As Mom slipped in and out of the kitchen, delivering a growing collection of snacks, I sat back and spent a moment watching my social circles collide.


    Jesse was hovering uncomfortably in the background until Rachel said something to Hayden, who took pity on him and introduced him to Paula and Samantha. Samantha was way more reserved than I was used to seeing, which made sense given what I knew about her social anxiety hang-ups, but she gradually started acting more like herself as Paula and Vickie tag-teamed her.


    Meanwhile, Seamus practically pounced on Jill and appeared to be catching up with her about the several years that had passed since they talked last. Excellent; it looked like the "hook Jill up with Seamus" gambit was still in play.


    Dad meandered between people as his interest led him, getting introduced and extracting minor life details in passing. Rachel disappeared into the kitchen to help Mom for a bit, and then came and sat down near me, ending my brief moments of virtual isolation.


    "How''d the test go, Xavier?"


    "Hey, Rachel. It went pretty well, though I had a bad moment parallel parking."


    "Mm, I''ve heard a lot of people fail that."


    "Are you planning to get your license? You''ll be 16 this year, right?"


    She smiled ruefully. "I''m sixteen now."


    "What? Really?"


    "Yeah, my birthday is September 16<sup>th</sup>."


    Evidently Dad was hovering, because he broke in at this point. "That was just last month! You should have told us! I would have baked you a cake."


    "Well there you go, Dad. She''s been eating your Saturday abominations for a couple months now, so she was probably scared for her life if you concocted a dessert."


    Dad made an exaggerated "I''ve been stabbed through the heart" gesture. "You wound me!"


    Rachel laughed. "Honestly, it slipped my mind. I''ve been shuffling between houses so often that celebrating birthdays just doesn''t occur to me."


    Dad leaned over with a conspiratorial wink. "She says that, but who do you think organized this little shindig?"


    Ah, so that''s why this particular group of people ended up invited. Rachel is one of the few people who knew everyone here.


    She shrugged and stage whispered, "Blame Samantha" to me. Wow, that was totally believable, too. I could almost hear her say¡­


    "It''s not like I wanted to celebrate your birthday!" exclaimed Samantha from behind my chair. She''d evidently worked her way around the room over toward us in an attempt to escape talking to Jesse and Hayden.


    "Yeah, yeah." I waved her off. "If you''ll excuse me, it looks like Mom has broken out the mini-sausages, and I''m going to go liberate a few before Seamus discovers them."This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    "Enjoy," said Rachel with a small smile, while Dad muttered something to himself about low quality excuses for food.


    Although before I went, maybe a little revenge for her continued tsundere act was in order. "Hey Dad, have you met Samantha before? She''s really into anime; maybe you should take her to the Lab and give her a tour."


    Dad''s eyes lit up, and he dragged Samantha off while she shot me a look of abject betrayal over her shoulder. Rachel laughed and wandered over to Hayden, Jesse, and Paula, pausing on her way to say something to Vickie who had evidently holed herself up partway behind the recliner with a bowl of mixed nuts. Vickie ditched the nuts, and went after Dad and Samantha.


    Outside of the harem at lunch time, I hadn''t really spent much time watching Rachel navigate social situations. I didn''t realize how competent she was at reading and directing social interactions. She was so soft-spoken most of the time that she kind of faded into the background of the conversation, but she was obviously constantly monitoring not only the circle of people she was actively interacting with, but also the room as a whole. Whenever someone, including myself, spent too much time alone Rachel would find a way to steer them into conversation or direct other people their way. When it became clear that Dad was never going to let Samantha escape the Lab and Vickie wasn''t helping, Rachel drifted off in that direction and a few minutes later Samantha rocketed out of the hallway and ensconced herself on the couch, the bowl of mixed nuts Vickie had abandoned clutched defensively to her chest. A few minutes later Rachel slipped through the room into the kitchen, and Mom wandered in without any new snacks to chat with Samantha on the couch.


    It was honestly fascinating to watch, and I found myself distracted in a lot of the conversations I was having simply because I was curious what Rachel would get up to next.


    "That''s how it is, then?" asked Paula with a wry grin, and I refocused. At some point I''d ended up in the corner of the room with Paula while the rest of the party was congregated at the other end of the room or had spilled out into the back yard.


    "What was that?"


    "You like Rachel."


    "What? No!"


    Paula rolled her eyes. "Xavier, you''ve been watching her like a hawk this whole time. I hope you don''t behave like that normally; doesn''t she live with you?"


    "Look, you''ve got the wrong idea; I was just curious today because she''s practically running this party. Haven''t you noticed? Whenever someone''s alone or looks uncomfortable, she finds a way to intervene."


    "Eh, don''t really care," said Paula. She leaned forward with a devilish grin. "I''m just saying, if you want to get together with Rachel, maybe you should stop groping other girls, huh?"


    "Groping¡­?" Dammit, of course she''d noticed. "That was¡ª" And crap, there really was no way to explain without trying to convince her that she was a fictional character.


    "Oh, I''m not angry or anything!" said Paula. "A girl likes to know she rates higher than stopping yourself from face-planting."


    Argh, this was the problem with talking to Paula. She inevitably just ended up teasing me. I swear she only hung around us because she liked to mess with me.


    I glanced toward the rest of the party where there appeared to be some sort of heavy debate going on. They looked like they''d be embroiled in that for a while, and for once Rachel wasn''t even glancing our way. I''d been brooding over how to deal with Paula for so long, but maybe I could just ask her. She''d probably just blow it off, but it was worth a shot.


    "Why are you here, Paula?" I asked abruptly.


    "Eh?"


    "I mean, like, why are you hanging out with a bunch of underclassmen? What are you getting out of it?"


    "Oooh, so serious!" Paula gave it some thought, then shrugged. "I just really like to mess with you."


    What is she, a mind-reader? "No, seriously. I''m honestly curious."


    Paula gave me a long look, then got a glint in her eye I wasn''t sure I liked as she folder her arms under her breasts, shoving them up like some sort of challenge. Or maybe a shield. "Why don''t you tell me, Xavier? Why are any of us here hanging out with you?"


    Fine, I''d play along. I started ticking off the people who were still arguing on the other side of the room off my fingers. "Seamus is an old family friend and Rachel''s cousin, and Jesse''s friends with both Seamus and me. Hayden''s my best friend. Rachel''s new in town and doesn''t know a lot of people, which is why she hangs out around me a lot. Plus she lives here, since Seamus'' family doesn''t have an extra room and we do. Samantha is weirdly bad with people, and hangs around me because I put up with her nonsense. Jill''s an old childhood friend. Vickie, Mom, and Dad are family, so they don''t have a choice in the matter. And apparently you like to mess with me." Oh, and half of you are harem manga heroines.


    Paula hummed noncommittally. "Okay, you get a B minus."


    "What?!" I should have mentioned the harem thing.


    "It''s a passing grade, Xavier. Don''t get greedy now."


    "How was that a B minus? I was spot on!"


    "Mmm, if you say so. But from my perspective, you missed some key facts."


    "Like what?"


    "Aw, you''re a smart boy. I''m sure you''ll do better on the next test."


    "So that means¡ª"


    But Paula interrupted me. "Tell you what, Xavier. You show me a good time next Saturday, and maybe I''ll clue you in."


    "Next Saturday?"


    Paula winked at me. "It''s a date, then!"


    Before I could respond Vickie came over and dragged me off.


    "Come on, Xavier, the justice of croquet has finally prevailed and you''re on my team."


    Well. Not much I could do against the justice of croquet.

 Harem Scarem: 032

    Harem Scarem: 032


    My "date" with Paula was preying on my mind all weekend, but Monday and school rolled around with absolutely no regard for my state of mind.


    The first half of the day was unremarkable. I was evidently back in Samantha''s good graces for some reason, so Japanese was annoying. Maybe trouncing me at croquet Saturday was cathartic or something. She did eventually leave me alone in favor of a group activity with Jewel and Amaya, at least, and they evidently invited her to lunch because she never showed up at our usual table.


    Lunch was normal, though Jill was in a bit of a weird mood, alternating between surprisingly moody silences (for her) and hyperactivity (which was pretty par for the course).


    The trouble didn''t kick off until P.E. The weather was just starting to take a dive into fall temperatures, so Mr. Peterson had us outside playing soccer while we still could. Rather than form two full teams and have a third of the class sit out, we had two games going, each with two teams of seven.


    My team was up against Jill''s, and we were losing badly. Partly because Jill was such a monster, but also because her team lucked into two of the kids in the class who regularly played soccer, including their goalie. We just couldn''t get a shot past him.


    In any case, things weren''t looking so good for us, and I was admittedly spacing out a bit waiting for the ball to come back across the field to where I was playing offense. Unsurprisingly, it was spending a lot of time in the vicinity of our goal. As a result I didn''t see what happened, but when Mr. Patterson started blowing his whistle and jogged onto the field it got my attention.


    Down near our goal was a jumble of bodies. It looked like there''d been some massive collision. Out of curiosity, I ambled that way to see better.


    As the pile-up sorted itself out, Jill extricated herself from the very middle and limped over to Mr. Patterson. He consulted with her for a couple seconds, looked around, and spotted me loitering nearby.


    "Xavier!" he barked. "You''re a midfielder, right? Help Jill over to the nurse''s office to get her bandaged up, will you?"


    I dithered, my desire to get out of the game warring with my honesty over the fact that I wasn''t a midfielder paired with my trepidation over visiting the nurse''s office with a harem member. Unfortunately, Jill limped over just as I was opening my mouth to point out I was offense. She had quite the bloody knee.


    "Come on, Xavier," she said, and though I turned to Mr. Patterson he was already moving away, shouting at the rest of the players to get back in position. I guess I''d see how this went; I was curious what was going on with Jill, and this did give me an excuse to talk to her. When the nurse was inevitably mysteriously out, though, I was going to high-tail it out of there.


    <hr>


    "Mr. Etsitty!" called Jill as we entered the office. A second or two of silence passed. "Huh, he''s not here? Strange."


    Color me shocked. I don''t know what it is Japanese school nurses are doing all day, but at least according to most manga it certainly isn''t spending any time in their offices taking care of students (outside of the series in which the school nurse is part of the romantic chart or serving as fan service eye candy, that is). Come to think of it, Mr. Etsitty was pretty big and a guy; no wonder he was nowhere to be seen. Even if this were the type of manga where the nurse could be expected to make an appearance, he matched absolutely none of the right demographics.


    "Well, it''s just a scrape. I don''t think Mr. Etsitty will mind if I help myself to the bandages and antibacterial cream." Jill made her way to a stool near the back counter and sat down. "Would you mind getting out the first aid supplies, Xavier? I''m a bit bloody at the moment." She''d been keeping pressure on her knee with her hand to keep from bleeding all over the hallway, so I didn''t doubt that was an accurate description. She hadn''t really needed me, but she''d certainly looked awkward shuffling down the hall with one hand clapped to her knee.


    "Where¡ª"


    "It''s in the bin on the counter over there," said Jill, pointing with the hand she wasn''t holding her bodily fluids in with.


    I brought the supplies over and set them on Mr. Etsitty''s chair near Jill. Any moment now, she was going to ask me to dress her knee for her if my knowledge of manga was worth anything.


    I''d forgotten that this was Jill I was working with, though. She grabbed a sterile pad from the side of the first aid bin, ripped it open with her teeth, applied it to her knee with her clean hand, and started washing her other hand in the sink that was nearby without batting an eye.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    "Uh, do you need me?" Maybe I could make a clean getaway before getting hit by any major tropes.


    "Actually, Xavier," said Jill, shutting off the water and drying her hand on a paper towel as best she could. "Would you mind sticking around for a minute? I''d kind of like to talk to you."


    Ah, there it was. Our chance to get closer in the nurse''s office, albeit not through close physical contact while treating each other''s injuries.


    On the other hand¡­Jill had been acting off today. If this was about Seamus, then it was probably worth it to play along for a bit and see what she wanted.


    "Well, much as I love soccer¡­" I said, and sat down on the nearby chair that was usually Mr. Etsitty''s domain. I really hoped he didn''t come back mid-conversation, because I wasn''t sure how he''d feel about students co-opting his seat.


    "Thanks," said Jill shortly, and was quiet for a bit while she focused on getting a bandage affixed to her knee. Finally she looked up, then with a nervous shift examined the room. "So, uh, Seamus asked me out after your party Sunday." Suddenly her focus was wholly on me.


    Oh ho, perhaps this was a manga trope after all; the classic, "try and force a love confession by indicating a rival" gambit. Unfortunately for her, I''d instigated this particular situation.


    "That right?" I said, keeping my expression neutral as best I could. "What did you tell him?"


    "Uh." Jill quickly lost her interest in me, clutching her legs just below her knees. "Um, he said he didn''t need to hear back right away, and I kind of wanted to, I don''t know, talk to you first?"


    "Mm," I hummed, trying to buy myself some time. I wasn''t sure how best to respond, frankly. If only I could break the fourth wall on command, I''d love to see how this whole situation looked to an outsider. I had a feeling talking up Seamus wasn''t going to really get me anywhere, but it was a place to start. "Well, Seamus is a great guy, and you''ve got a bunch of shared interests." Like sports, sports, and sports.


    "I guess," she muttered. Yeah, I didn''t figure that was what she was looking for.


    Okay, maybe if I turned it around. "Look, Jill, why are you telling me this?"


    That finally got her to look back up, surprised. "Well, I guess¡ª" She petered out, then took a deep breath and let it out. "I mean, we''ve been hanging out a lot, and I just wanted to know¡ª" She shrugged.


    Crap, well now I had a dilemma. But I guess really I didn''t. I could ignore that she''d basically outright stated she liked me, sure; maybe blithely tell her I wished her the best like the classic dense harem protagonist who''s too self-absorbed to notice that they''re harming the people around them.


    Yeah, that would work fine. She''d no doubt pick up on the hint fast and immediately drop this conversation like it never happened. After all, I was sure reading between the lines was a survival skill in her family.


    But although that had basically been my plan from the get-go, I just couldn''t do it. You know what? Screw it. My whole attempt to hook Jill up with Seamus was just trying to get what I wanted while still playing by the rules, and she didn''t deserve that from me. So forget the harem nonsense logic that dictates everyone has to try to manipulate their way to happiness. Maybe this would wreck my relationship with Jill, but the least I could do for her was to give it to her straight.


    "Jill, thanks. I''m flattered you feel that way about me, but, uh, I''m not interested in dating anyone right now. And I''m sorry but I''ve¡ªhonestly, I just haven''t ever really thought of you romantically, like that." Shit, she looked like I''d just run over her dog. Damn it, that''s right! This was tomboy Jill I was talking to, so of course having her crush tell her he didn''t see her as a girl was going to be horrible! Why didn''t I think this through properly ahead of time? "I mean¡ªlook, that came out awful. I honestly don''t think of anyone like that right now, you know? I told you Emily just broke up with me over the summer, right? I''m just¡ªnot in a good place for romance."


    "Oh. Well¡­thanks for telling me."


    Dammit, Jill, don''t show me your brave face! Arg, this sucked! People suck! Manga sucks! Everything about this whole stupid situation is a huge, stinking ball of suck, and I don''t care what my dad says!


    "Nothing is coming out right! Look, Jill, this has nothing to do with you personally. I just don''t want you to pass up an opportunity because you''re waiting for me, because that ship is not going to sail. If you''re interested in Seamus, maybe it''s worth seeing him a bit to see if it works out. But you certainly don''t have to if you don''t want to! I mean it''s up to you. Ugh! Whatever you do, I will be happy to, uh, watch you patch yourself up, I guess. I really was pretty useless here, huh?"


    Jill looked like she wasn''t quite sure how to respond, but after a moment she laughed. "Sorry, Xavier, I''m not laughing at you. Well, I mean you just look so frantic¡­seriously, it''s not a big deal. I really appreciate you being willing to talk to me like this." She stood and replaced the first aid supplies where they belonged. "C''mon, let''s head to P.E. If you''re done watching me patch myself up, we should get back to the trouncing your team was deservedly receiving."


    "Deservedly?!"


    "Come on, Xavier, anyone with teamwork that bad completely deserves to lose."


    Thank goodness, she was back to being Jill. Maybe pointing Seamus at her was a complete waste of time, but hopefully our awkward little conversation at least edged her toward exiting the harem. I was pretty sure she wasn''t the type to go nursing an unrequited love just for the sake of it.


    "Hey, you think Seamus could beat me at soccer?" Jill asked me out of the blue.


    Or maybe the Seamus thing might work in my favor after all. "I make no promises. But he''s definitely better than me."


    "Hmm," said Jill, and that was it until we got back to P.E. and discovered her team had been quite handily trouncing mine even without her help.


    We never did see Mr. Etsitty. I might need to check in sometime to make sure he''s doing alright. I''d hate to be responsible for him getting fired or something just because he didn''t fit the Japanese stereotype of a school nurse.

 Harem Scarem: 033

    Harem Scarem: 033


    The next day Samantha joined us at lunch. "So, not like I care, but what are you doing for Halloween, Xavier?"


    "Halloween?" Oh, right. That was coming up really soon. "When was that¡ª"


    "Halloween is on Saturday," Rachel chimed in softly.


    "Oh right, Saturday. Well, I didn''t really make any¡ª"


    Paula, who was oddly enough sitting across the table from me for once, raised an eyebrow in my direction.


    "Er. I mean, I don''t have any specific plans, but I''m not available that day." Shit, Paula finagled me into a Halloween date?


    "Why aren''t you¡ª" started Samantha, but Paula cut her off.


    "I''ll bet you just love Halloween, don''t you Samantha? You''d make such a cute little monster."


    "You think I''m¡ªI mean wait a minute, what''s this about a monster?! Why wouldn''t I be a princess or something?"


    Paula pointed at Samantha''s twin-tails, which she had adopted again for the day. "Right attitude, wrong hair. Sorry, you''re definitely a better monster. Maybe a sweet little goblin?"


    Samantha was getting red in the face, and I could practically see little cross-shaped anger marks popping into existence around her head. "Gob¡ª?! Well what about you? You probably only ever dress like a skanky nurse or something!"


    "Hm, I''ve never tried a nurse, actually," Paula ruminated. "They are admittedly a classic, but I''m not really into that sort of low-brow, fetishist pandering."


    I cut in before Samantha''s head exploded trying to parse that sentence. "So that means you like dressing up for Halloween?"


    Paula looked genuinely puzzled for once. "Doesn''t everybody?"


    Uh, I suppose. Between the ages of six and thirteen, at least. "So what''s your costume this year?"


    Paula smirked at me. "Guess."


    Yeah, I didn''t think it would be that easy.


    Rachel evidently noticed Samantha working herself up in a tizzy thanks to Paula failing to react to her provocations, and diverted the conversation. "Are there many trick-or-treaters in your neighborhood, Xavier?"


    "Yeah, we get a fair number, although fewer than when I was a kid. I think a lot of people just go to the shopping district or the mall these days rather than canvasing the neighborhood. What about you, Samantha? Get anyone begging for candy at your place?"


    "I live in an apartment," grumbled Samantha. "No one does that sort of thing there." She redirected her ire back to Paula. "Aren''t you a little old to be going around asking for candy?" Ah well, Rachel, I tried. She shot me a slight smile when I glanced her way.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "Whoever said I go trick-or-treating?" asked Paula. "I haven''t done that in years. I guess you''re a little young to be attending Halloween parties, though. Talk to me when you''re out of pigtails."


    Hoo boy, Paula was really shooting for Samantha to go incendiary today for some reason. We''d all learned early on that references to the hair were the best way to get Samantha to explode.


    "Pig¡ª?!" Sure enough, Samantha was fast approaching critical meltdown.


    "Hey, Xavier," Jill cut in. "You ready to head to P.E.? I wanted to get there a little early today to stretch, maybe avoid getting dogpiled again."


    "You bet," I said, and practically jumped from my chair.


    "See you later," Paula said to me with a meaningful smile.


    "Uh, right." Nice rejoinder, Xavier. Really smooth.


    We left the sound of Samantha berating Paula over the exact meaning of pigtails behind.


    "Thanks, Jill," I said.


    She shrugged. "I don''t really get why you put up with Samantha, honestly. She''s super annoying."


    I shrugged right back. There wasn''t much I could say to that.


    We walked down the hall in companionable silence for a bit.


    "I thought about it a bunch last night, and I think I''m going to try a date or two with Seamus," Jill blurted out suddenly.


    "Oh! Uh, good for you!"


    She smiled wryly. "I know, it''s not really any of your business, but since we talked about it yesterday¡­anyway I''ll let you know if I need someone to watch me patch myself up, okay?"


    "You do that, Jill. I hope things go well."


    "Eh, we''ll see. I don''t really have time for romance at the moment, anyway, what with the cross country meets coming up. Honestly, I probably won''t see much of you outside of lunch and class for a while here. Coach B is really riding us hard; thinks we have a chance to maybe make state this year."


    "Really? That''s awesome!"


    Jill laughed. "Spoken like a guy who doesn''t have to attend our practices."


    "Yeah, you couldn''t pay me to do that. I still don''t know why you went out for cross country instead of some sane sport like soccer."


    "Mm, soccer is fun. But honestly, I like cross country a little better than track, even. There''s something cathartic about just¡­running."


    "Well, no one ever claimed you were normal," I joked.


    Jill grinned and slugged me in the shoulder. "You''d best hope we''re not playing soccer again, or I''ll have to make you eat those words."


    I wasn''t honestly sure how that made any sense at all, but when we were indeed playing soccer again I was lucky enough to end up on a team that wasn''t facing off against Jill''s.


    Still failed to win, though. Good thing looking cool in front of my childhood friend wasn''t high on my list of things to do.


    <hr>


    Losing at soccer or not, I was feeling pretty great as I made my way from P.E. to pre-calculus. Samantha and Jill both appeared to be headed out of the harem, which meant I was halfway to freedom. I couldn''t discount the author or genre throwing me a curveball, of course, but especially with Jill I felt like I''d actually done something right when it came to progressing our relationship away from weird romantic entanglements and back to childhood friend comradery.


    Now, if only I had some idea how to deal with Pa¡ª


    "Oh, Xavier!" said someone, interrupting my reverie. A little way down the hall was a girl standing at a locker who I recognized from pre-calculus. She usually sat a few seats away to my left, and I was pretty sure her name was Debbie. I didn''t really know anything about her, since she was withdrawn in class. However, there was one key detail that stood out: she wore really thick glasses, and today happened to be sporting a lab coat. If I were a science fiction spacecraft, emergency klaxons would be blaring about a proximity alert right about now.


    Unaware of my internal distress, Debbie continued talking. "Would you mind¡ª"


    I turned on my heel and all but sprinted down the nearest set of stairs. Definitely not happening. I''m sure you''re a wonderful person, Debbie, but extending the story by endlessly adding people to the harem is just a whole lot of nope.


    I was a little late to pre-calc thanks to my unexpectedly circuitous route, but it was totally worth it.

 Harem Scarem: 034

    Harem Scarem: 034


    I had a problem, and it wasn''t that I was needing to dodge Debbie the glasses girl at least once a day in increasingly bizarre situations. That was more amusing than anything, really. Sure, I was late to a few more classes than just pre-calc, but I figured the fact a potential new harem member was being thrown at me so insistently meant that things were working out in my favor for once.


    No, my problem was of course my upcoming Halloween date with Paula. Though I tried multiple times to pin her down on what exactly she had planned on Saturday, the only info I extracted was that she expected me in costume, would pick me up at 3pm, and that we would be attending a Halloween party of some sort.


    I''m fairly certain the only reason she didn''t tell me more was because she liked watching me squirm.


    In any case, the costume wasn''t too difficult. I dug out the pirate getup I''d worn a few years ago, which aside from the pants still fit pretty well. It wasn''t exactly a fancy costume¡ªmostly just an eyepatch, a hat that vaguely resembled a tricorn if you squinted, and an off-white shirt with ruffles. I added a dark pair of pants and figured that was good enough. If Paula wanted to win at a Halloween fashion show, she should have given me significantly more warning.


    What stumped me was that I''d never attended a high school party before¡ªmuch less one presumably hosted by seniors¡ªand had no idea what to expect. Not only that, but a Halloween party simply wasn''t something I''d ever come across in a manga. Heck, Halloween getting a mention at all was pretty rare, since it was more of a Western holiday and hadn''t really been coopted by the Japanese the way holidays like Christmas and Valentine''s Day had. Perhaps this was related to what Mom had told me about the manga getting more realistic the further I stretched the genre; I''d subverted the last few manga situations, so now I was stuck dealing with something a little further from the manga baseline. Impossible to tell for sure, I suppose, but I hadn''t realized how much I''d been relying on knowing what sorts of things I could expect thanks to my generalized manga knowledge. I had certain preconceptions about high school parties from various American movies, but was doubtful they had any bearing on my situation. Or reality in general.


    Ugh, it was like I was right back to the summer when I had no idea what to expect. I was half tempted to just call up Paula and cancel the whole thing, but I wasn''t confident I would be able to successfully dodge a manga coincidence with Debbie forever. I was reasonably certain Paula wasn''t interested in getting closer to me romantically, at least, though that begged the question of what she was doing in the harem in the first place. If she hadn''t basically promised to talk to me if I agreed to this scheme of hers, I''d have had no compunction refusing outright. Especially because I was beginning to wonder if alienating Paula would actually do that much damage to my social life, given that she was two grades my senior and despite appearances did not appear to be particularly interested in socializing with kids her own age. Perhaps a thought to keep in mind if this whole situation went south¡­


    In any case, I suffered through the rest of the week dreading the coming of the weekend. Which ended up rolling around anyway, as time is wont to do. Stupid time.


    <hr>


    A little before 3pm on Saturday I was loitering in the kitchen, half-heartedly snapping the elastic strand on my plastic eyepatch back and forth between my hands. The darn thing was even more uncomfortable than I remembered it being, and I was debating just conveniently forgetting it at home. Before I had a chance to make up my mind, however, the doorbell rang.


    "I''ll get it," I called, and went to meet my fate.


    It was indeed Paula, but if I hadn''t been expecting her, I might not have recognized her. She was wearing an ornate, old-style dress made out of what looked like embossed velvet in such a deep shade of red it was almost black. Her white shirt or blouse or whatever it was featured bountiful lacey ruffles, but pulled taught about her chest. She still looked well-endowed, but the cut of the dress or the ruffles or something made her chest seem much more normally sized. Aside from her face, she had almost no skin showing at all. The dress was high-necked, long-sleeved, and fell right to the tops of her feet. She wasn''t wearing gloves, but the lace spilling out at her wrists came all the way to the back of her hands.


    Her hair was done up in a much tighter bun that her usual loose pony-tail, but she''d left a patch at the front to drape across her face. Her skin was a borderline deathly pallor, and partially obscured by her loose hair was what looked like an unhealthy red circular scar or burn mark with a faint cross or X in the middle. Near the corner of her mouth was a small smear of red, like she''d slipped while applying lipstick. Or maybe been drinking tomato juice a little too enthusiastically.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    "Who on Earth are you dressed as?" I asked.


    The distant expression that she''d affected when I opened the door fell away and Paula grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Now now, Xavier, have you been skimping on your classics? I''m clearly Mina Harker. No, the real question is what on earth is this sorry excuse for a costume? Are you some sort of itinerant revolutionary soldier?"


    I scowled, and snapped the eyepatch on. Damn, this thing was uncomfortable. "I''m a pirate. Obviously! Arrr! And who is Mina Harker?"


    Paula ignored my question and took a slow stroll around me as she examined me from head to toe. "Good thing I came prepared for something like this. Okay, time to change!" She clapped her hands and grabbed a duffel bag that I hadn''t noticed lying at her feet on the porch. "Shoo shoo, in you go! There''s no way I''m going to let some cut-rate pirate escort Mina Harker, who, by the way, is the heroine of Bram Stoker''s Dracula."


    "You''ve read Dracula? Who reads Dracula?"


    Paula gave me a blank stare. "You haven''t? Anyway, in we go! Here, take this and go get changed, then meet me¡ªmm¡ªhere in the kitchen should work. Looks like the light is good enough." Paula shoved the duffel bag into my arms and gave me a push down the hallway toward the bathroom.


    In the duffel I discovered a very Dracula-esque black suit. Rather than a cape, the jacket had two extremely long, sharp tails that fell almost to my knees like wings. All of the jacket''s lines were quite sharp and abrupt, actually. What was a little disturbing was that the shirt, jacket, and pants all fit me perfectly.


    "Where the hell did you even get this?" I asked Paula as I entered the kitchen after changing.


    She gave me an appreciative whistle in lieu of an answer. "Damn, I''m good. I nailed the sizing on that sucker. Now come sit over here, Xavier, we''re only partly finished."


    I sat down and Paula whisked behind me. There was a squirting sound, a slightly fruity scent, and then she was rubbing some sort of gunk into my hair.


    "Wha¡ª!" I began, but she leaned an elbow on my shoulder and forced me back down into the chair.


    "Down, boy!" she said cheerfully. "What sort of Dracula would you be with that bird''s nest?"


    Once she''d gelled my hair into submission, she had me scoot around until I was facing backwards on the chair, and then pulled up her own chair right in front of me and started putting makeup on my face.


    I froze. This whole pre-party experience was turning out a lot more physically intimate than I''d been expecting and I wasn''t sure what to do about it. Especially now that Paula''s face was just a few inches away from my own as she carefully applied various unknowable substances around my eyes.


    "Uh," I said uncomfortably, not even sure where I was going with it myself.


    "Shh, hold still," she muttered, intent on her work.


    As stereotypical as it was, Paula smelled really nice. Ever since the start of the year she''d made a habit of occasionally getting into my personal space, but usually she was attacking me from the side or behind. This was the first time she''d undertaken a frontal assault, and I was feeling incredibly off-balance. This close, I could easily make out the makeup that she herself was wearing, though I felt super awkward staring at her from so near.


    She didn''t appear to notice, which paradoxically was even more appealing than her normal flirtatious assaults. I don''t think I''d ever seen the laid-back Paula so intent on something before, and it was kind of intoxicating that it was me she was staring at that way.


    Which was completely infuriating. Here I was struck dumb just because a girl was offering casual physical contact, which was a complete manga clich¨¦. Yet despite knowing it was a clich¨¦ and wanting nothing more than to move on, it was still getting me all flustered.


    As I searched desperately for somewhere to look other than Paula''s eyes in hopes that I could ignore her and make her go away, I noticed that obscured by the lace of her collar were two red marks on her neck that looked almost swollen. Geez, how much detail did she pour into this costume, anyway?!


    None too soon, Paula finally sat back, gave my face a critical glance, and proclaimed me fit to accompany her.


    While she was packing up her supplies, my dad wandered by, glanced our way, and stopped dead in his tracks. "Wow, Xavier. And Paula, wasn''t it? You two look fantastic. What are you, Dracula and a bride of Dracula?"


    "Close!" said Paula. "You got Dracula right, but I''m Mina Harker."


    "She''s one of the characters? I''m pretty fuzzy on the original Dracula. Anyway, that is an amazing pair of costumes. You have real talent, young lady."


    Paula actually blushed and looked away. "Thank you."


    What the hell? Who are you, and what have you done with Paula?


    "Seriously, Xavier, you should go look in a mirror," my Dad said.


    I did just that, and had to admit that Dad had a point. Paula had somehow managed to give me a widow''s peak and slicked the rest of my hair back along my head. With the addition of her makeup, I really did look like an undead, blood-sucking monster. Albeit one with impeccable style.


    When I made it back to the kitchen, Paula was packed and ready to go and Mom and Vickie had joined Dad in ogling her costume. I wondered where Rachel had gotten to, but put the thought aside in favor of corralling Paula away from her adoring fans.


    "Come on," I said gruffly. "We have to go, right?"


    "Yep, we should hit the road."


    "You two have fun!" said Dad. "I hope you win Best Costume."


    Paula threw him a wink. "I always do."


    I dragged her out of there before she could flirt any more with my dad. Bad enough when she was flirting with me.

 Harem Scarem: 035

    Harem Scarem: 035


    Paula and I piled into her car in all our vampiric glory, and she started wending her way toward the freeway.


    "So, uh, where are we going?"


    "It''s a surprise!"


    "Still?!"


    Paula shot me a serious look. Man, how did she even drive in that dress without tangling her feet up? "Xavier, do you not know the meaning of the word ''surprise''?"


    I may or may not have growled under my breath.


    "Don''t worry!" she said blithely. "I told your parents, and they approved. And I won''t keep you out too late. Probably." She spared me a much less serious glance, and dropped her tone down to sultry levels. "Unless you want me to keep you out late, that is."


    I just stared at her deadpan. I''d been practicing in the mirror every chance I got all week, and was pretty proud of my ability to avoid breaking face.


    Paula returned her attention to the road with a shrug. "More importantly, you''re my date tonight, got it?"


    Ah, I''d been wondering how the genre was going to intrude. Evidently this was the "girl needs a date, so she asks her guy friend to pretend and it gets their hearts fluttering" event. "Your date, huh? I don''t recall that being part of our agreement."


    "Shush, you. I didn''t spend that much time on your costume just because you''re cute."


    "You don''t even like cute things."


    "What are you talking about? I love cute things! Why do you think I hang out with Samantha so often?"


    "Uh, because you could probably press her buttons from outer space?"


    Paula grinned. "Well, it''s not my fault she''s cute when she''s angry."


    I just rolled my eyes and changed the subject. I couldn''t very well back out now, so it looked like I was stuck being a fake date, but maybe I could kickstart a more serious discussion now and get a little payment ahead for suffering through what was undoubtedly going to be a difficult evening. "So about what we were talking about when you strong-armed me into this¡­"


    "Ah ah ah!" Paula scolded. "No serious talk before a party. Ruins the whole thing."


    "But¡ª"


    "I said I''d correct your misconceptions, and I''ll stand by that, but no free lunches."If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Well, damn. That was too much to hope for, I supposed.


    At this point we''d been on the freeway for several minutes, and I was baffled about where we might be headed. I''d assumed that a high school Halloween party would be at someone''s house, but at this point I was pretty sure we were well out of our school''s district. "Where are we going, anyway?"


    "Didn''t I say? We''re headed down to Samner tonight."


    "What? Who the hell lives all the way out in¡ªoh, excuse me, I mean I''d hate to have the surprise spoiled! Boy howdy do I ever love surprises!"


    "That''s the spirit! Though if you say ''boy howdy'' again tonight I might have to bite you. You''re Dracula, remember? Class it up a little!"


    If I weren''t afraid of what would happen to me should I mess up the hair style or makeup she''d forced on me, I would have buried my head in my hands.


    <hr>


    We arrived in a housing development on the outskirts of Samner about 15 minutes later. Paula didn''t quite bound out of the car¡ªI don''t think she could have bounded in that dress to save her life¡ªbut she was certainly feeling perky. As soon as I''d climbed out, she hooked her arm through mine, and swept us both toward the front door. I guess there''s one thing to be said for late Victorian clothing styles: I was expecting a classic manga breast-against-the-arm moment, but she was barely pressed up against me at all.


    The doorbell had barely had time to die out when the door was ripped open and a lanky blonde woman dressed in a plaid shirt and cowboy hat had yanked Paula off me and into a hug. "Paula! Welcome! I haven''t seen you in ages!"


    Paula hugged her back for a moment, then pushed her away. "Get off!" She was smiling, though, so evidently she didn''t actually mind being hugged by this woman.


    Meanwhile, I was very confused. Maybe this was the mother of one of Paula''s friends? She didn''t look that old, though.


    "Oooh, and who''s this?" said the woman, catching sight of me. Without pausing for a reply she shouted back over her shoulder, "Paula''s here, and she brought a boooooooy!" Before I could get a word in edgewise, the woman had grabbed my wrist, pulled me into the house, and shut the door. "Aren''t you just the most dashing Dracula? Paula must have handled your costume, you lucky devil. Undead. Living dead. Whatever. Ever since she hit her teens, none of us have been able to compete with Paula''s Halloween getups. Anyway, when are you going to introduce me, Paula?"


    "Come on Rita, you haven''t stopped talking since you opened the door. This is Xavier. Xavier, Rita."


    "So nice to meet you, Xavier. I''m the youngest cousin from the older set," Rita confided in me, as if that made any sense at all. "Well, except for Paula, of course."


    Wait, cousin?


    But we''d arrived at the end of the hall, and without further ado Rita preceded Paula and I into the living room of the house with a shouted, "Paula''s here, everyone, and she brought her boyfriend Xavier!"


    "I''m not¡ª" I began, but Paula forcefully linked arms with me again as she pulled me fully into the room.


    "You are for the evening," she said under her breath.


    And then I looked up.


    The living room was absolutely chock-full of people in costumes, ranging in age from what looked to be maybe six or eight all the way up to the upper thirties or forties. And their attention was universally riveted on Paula and me.


    I felt like a goldfish who had been happily swimming along through a pond, only to round a bend and discover it had somehow ended up in the deep ocean surrounded by sharks. I might have frozen in place for a moment under the sudden onslaught of attention.


    There was a moment''s calm while Paula and I were scrutinized. The room seemed to hold its breath.


    Then an older woman swept in from the adjoining kitchen and strode our way. She was wearing a sexy nurse costume, of all things, but was definitely old enough to be someone''s mother. "Paula, welcome! You didn''t tell me you were bringing a date!"


    "Well," said Paula with a sly glance my way. "I wanted it to be a surprise, Mom."


    Oh you have got to be shitting me. We skipped straight to meeting the parents?!

 Harem Scarem: 036

    Harem Scarem: 036


    "Aren''t you two just adorable," babbled Paula''s mother as she grabbed my arm and physically dragged me into the room proper. It was a move that was extremely reminiscent of Paula''s own tendency to cling, but where Paula came off as sexy and flirtatious her mom only really managed to nail down creepy and way too old. If I hadn''t already been feeling supremely uncomfortable, that would have put me over the edge for sure. "I wondered why you were taking so much time with your costume this year, Paula. Guess it''s because you had to make two! You sly girl." Seriously, this was her mother? I shot Paula a look that I hoped communicated get me the hell out of this situation but although I was half-expecting to see her laughing at my expense, she was actually blank-faced. It threw me off my stride.


    Literally threw me off my stride, that is; I tripped over my own feet and almost took her mother down with me. Fortunately, before I had to have a Manga Moment with Mom, Paula grabbed me herself and yanked me off-balance the other way¡ªand out of her mother''s clutches. "Is that salad you insisted on bringing put together yet?"


    Her mother held up her hands. "I know, I know, cousins only, right? But I was just finishing things up in the kitchen when you got here, and when I heard I had to meet your date!"


    "Xavier, my mother. Mom, Xavier," said Paula with exasperation in her voice. "Okay, you''ve met him."


    "I hope we''ll get to see a lot more of you, Xavier!" said Paula''s mom unrepentantly, and winked at me. She freaking winked at me. I could go home now, right? Because I wanted to go home.


    "Mom!"


    Paula''s mother hitched her shoulders in what could have been a shrug, and practically skipped back out of the room. "Ta-ta! You kids have fun!"


    "Welcome to the family, Xavier! How you liking Aunt Jas?" said an unfamiliar voice.


    Oh, right. In the moment I''d forgotten, but I was now surrounded by a room full of Paula''s cousins. Lovely.


    <hr>


    After an initial flurry of interest¡ªand a long parade of names that went in one ear and straight out the other¡ªI was able to fade into the background and try to pretend I was part of the wallpaper. Pretty much all I took from my initial crash-course in Paula''s family structure was that she had an extended family that was just as ridiculously large as Seamus''. Of course, I only knew about Seamus'' extended family through hearsay¡ªmostly him bitching about family gatherings. Here I was right in the thick of things, and fully prepared to start bitching myself.


    From what I could gather, the cousin''s Halloween party was an annual event in Paula''s family that had been going on since before she was born. Paula glided through the gathering with me in her wake. She was a very different person from the Paula I knew from school. Still pretty out there, but she was far more often the butt of her cousin''s teasing than the one doing the teasing¡ªand their teasing could get pretty brutal. It was honestly throwing me off. I''d always seen Paula as someone firmly in control of herself, but here she was far more often on the defensive.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Paula''s costume¡ªand mine for that matter¡ªwere excessively elaborate compared to everything else at the party. Most of her cousins had settled for costumes that were clearly store-bought, or that might have received care and creativity in their initial creation but were now years old. It was a puzzle: why had Paula created such an intricate pair of matching costumes for a party that she didn''t appear to actually enjoy? Why did she want me here at all, when she was mainly interacting with her family members? What the hell was wrong with her mother? (Yeah, I still wasn''t over that.)


    And most importantly, just how was this going to help me get Paula out of the harem? In retrospect, Samantha was reasonably straight-forward, and the solution for Jill just kind of fell into my lap. I wasn''t going to think about Ms. Cari?o in hopes that problem went away on its own, and Rachel¡ªwell, Rachel was still pending. I thought seeing Paula in a different environment would give me some clue about what might be driving her, but I was completely at a loss.


    At least the food was alright. It wasn''t quite the diverse spread that my mom would have provided for such a big party, but although it was clearly potluck-style the dishes were almost entirely homemade and pretty tasty even when they didn''t look like all that. At Paula''s recommendation I had the shepherd''s pie that she said was some aunt or other''s specialty, and I deeply regretted meeting her mom instead of her aunt.


    <hr>


    We''d been engaged in high-stress mingling for several hours when a subset of Paula''s older cousins cornered me while she was in the bathroom. I wasn''t sure what to expect, since this whole scenario top-to-bottom was off the rails as far as manga plotlines went.


    "So, kid¡ªit was what, Xavier?¡ªlemme guess: you asked Paula out, am I right?" said the eldest of the four cousins who had wandered my way with intent as soon as Paula ducked out. The other three consisted of a pair of guys who looked to be close in age¡ªmaybe in their mid-20s¡ªand a woman I hadn''t interacted with who looked somewhere in between them and the older guy.


    I wasn''t sure how to respond to that, but fortunately for me they weren''t apparently looking for a conversation so much as an audience.


    "Course he did," said one of the younger guys. "I mean come on: those tits! I''m related to her, and even so it''s like daaaamn."


    "Ha, seriously," said the older guy. "It''s not like you''d date her for her sparkling personality, right?"


    The woman tittered and the other young guy huffed, but evidently neither had anything to add. I hadn''t been aware that was actually a way that people laughed.


    I also wasn''t entirely sure why the Asshole Brigade here had decided to seek me out. Well, would hate for all that practice to go to waste: I gave them my blank-faced stare.


    The woman lost steam and the younger guy shut up, while the other two just appeared to be getting angry.


    "Well?" said the older guy with a confrontational step toward me. "How''s she in the sack then? Was it worth it to date the daughter of the family slut?"


    "You¡ª" I started, not entirely certain where I was going but pretty damn sure it wasn''t going to end well.


    "There you are, Xavier!" said Paula brightly from behind me. "I''ve been looking for you. Sorry, Brad, we''ve got to head out." She turned to the room at large, raised her voice, and gave a wave. "It was good to see everyone!"


    "Bye, Paula!" called Rita from out of the general low-level salutations. "Drive safe!"


    Paula gave the four dickwads around me the brightest, fakest smile I''d ever seen on her face, and we were out of there.


    What. The. Hell.

 Harem Scarem: 037

    Harem Scarem: 037


    Paula was unusually withdrawn as we got into the car and started making our way to the freeway, but as we waited at a stoplight just before escaping the Samner suburbs she shot an apologetic look my way.


    "Sorry about that, Xavier. I''d been hoping things would be a bit more tolerable with you there, but¡ªwell. I appreciate you sticking it out to the end, at least."


    "Paula, I don''t know how to break this to you, but some of your cousins are complete assholes."


    That startled a laugh out of her. "I can''t really argue with that. I really like the Mathers, but most of them didn''t make it this year. It was nice to see Rita, at least, even if she kind of set me up for failure. At least she doesn''t mean any harm."


    "If you''re going to get hassled that much, why go at all?"


    "Mm," she hummed and was quiet for a bit. I was taking breath to tell her it wasn''t really any of my business when she finally spoke up again. "You know, I''ve always really loved Halloween. Other kids were always hyper-focused on the whole free candy thing, but for me the appeal has always been the costumes."


    "Yeah, I wouldn''t have guessed that at all," I drily remarked, and was rewarded with another laugh.


    "I know, right? Especially with how I just threw these old things together."


    "But couldn''t you have, I dunno, just gone to a party with other seniors or something?"


    "Well," said Paula. "I''ve been going to the cousin''s party for years, and they''re family even if some of them suck." She shot a sideway glance at me. She looked almost nervous. "Plus, um. I''m not all that popular."


    "Yeah, okay, that just makes no sense." This had been bugging me for weeks now. "You''re attractive and flirty and funny and super put-together. Why on earth are you hanging around with a bunch of sophomores and a tsundere?" Wait, I said the bit about Samantha out loud, didn''t I?


    "Soon de what now?" said Paula, but evidently dismissed my slip of the tongue. "So I''m attractive and flirty and funny, am I?" She gave me her patented coy look, and man was I ever glad she was driving and couldn''t follow that up with any of her normal physical attacks.


    "Damn it, you know what I mean!"


    Paula just laughed. "Now, now, don''t get your feathers all ruffled. I know I''m not the person you have your eye on, and honestly that''s part of why I''m hanging out with you four."


    "Huh?" Now that one was admittedly a curve ball. Paula was hanging out with me because I wasn''t interested in her? What sort of harem heroine was she, anyway?Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    "You want to know one of the reasons I like dressing up on Halloween so much? Because you get to become someone or something completely different. Guys aren''t only paying attention to you because they''re hoping to get lucky. Girls aren''t ostracizing you out of jealousy. If people are wary of you, it''s because you''re a monster, not because you''re you."


    She was gripping the steering wheel hard enough her fingers were white. "It''s incredibly liberating." With a sigh, she let go of the wheel briefly and patted it in a brief staccato almost-rhythm. "You know, it''s pretty amusing you think I''m flirty because I don''t act like that around anyone other than you."


    I scoffed out loud a little. Ah, classic. The tried-and-true, "I only show this side of myself to you" gambit, although I didn''t think Paula was actually trying to get me to notice her romantically right at the moment. She seemed more like she just wanted to get this stuff off her chest.


    "You know I only have eyes for you, Xavier," Paula teased me, voice throaty.


    "Yeah, yeah." I waved that one away. "I have to warn you, though, that I bite."


    She shot me a look of complete surprise that was far more gratifying than I''d expected, and then burst out laughing.


    "Thanks, Xavier," she said, as her laughter wound down. "I''ll keep that in mind. Now, if you don''t mind my asking, why did you agree to go to this party with me in the first place? I was pretty surprised when you didn''t blow me off at your birthday."


    Ah. Apparently it was my turn to sit in the hot seat. Wonderful. Well, maybe brutal honesty would help me out. "I have no idea what you''re thinking, and was hoping to figure out why you''re hanging out with me and the¡ªgirls." Jeez, that was close. Something about talking to Paula constantly threw me off enough that things I didn''t want to say kept trying to slip out.


    "Is that right?" said Paula. "And how''s that working out for you?"


    "Oh, just wonderfully." Actually, now that I thought about it, that was actually true. From what she''d said, it sounded like Paula was persona non grata with her peers. Maybe that was why she got along with Samantha so well; both of them were looking for friends.


    Shit, manga logic was starting to invade my normal thought process, wasn''t it? Since when did I consider a pair of people who are constantly fighting to be emotionally close?


    To my surprise, Paula didn''t shoot back with any teasing or other repartee. "And what are you planning to do now that you know?"


    "I don''t know, Paula." I sighed about a year''s worth of sighs. "You tell me."


    "I think you should just be yourself, Xavier," said Paula. "Honestly, I don''t need anything from you beyond that."


    That deserved a skeptical stare if anything did, so I obliged.


    "Now what was it you claimed originally was the reason you were going to humor me by attending this party?" Paula ruminated. "Something about how you were completely clueless about everything?"


    "Excuse me?!" I didn''t remember our conversation at my birthday party going quite like that¡­


    "Oh, well, too late now; we''re here!" Paula pulled into my driveway, killed the engine, and turned an expectant look on me.


    I stared at her. She stared back. Oookay, well then. I unbuckled and climbed out of the car before it got awkward. It had been a seriously rough day, but I was pretty sure I''d gotten what I needed from Paula, even if I wasn''t having much luck figuring out what I was going to do about her right at this second. "Do you want to come in real quick, or should I return the costume to you Monday?"


    "Monday''s fine," she said and sat back in her seat. "Say hello to Rachel for me, will you?"


    "Uh, okay."


    "Thanks again, Xavier; see you!" And with a merry wave and a wink, Paula drove off.


    Scratch my last thought. I had no idea what was going on with that girl at all.

 Harem Scarem: 038

    Harem Scarem: 038


    "How''d the party go, Xavier?" called my mom as I headed in.


    "Excruciating," I called back. "Why didn''t you tell me that I''d be meeting her relatives?"


    "What, Paula didn''t tell you what kind of party it was?" said Dad, emerging from the kitchen and chuckling. Evidently the two of them had been cleaning up from dinner or canoodling or something. "That girl is a piece of work."


    You don''t have to sound quite so approving, Dad.


    "Party aside, how are you doing, Xavier? How''re things going with¡­life?"


    "Ah, I guess life is progressing. Honestly, I need to think about it."


    "Can I lend an ear?"


    "No thanks Dad, I think I''m good. Oh hey, Rachel." She''d just exited the hallway on her way to the living room.


    "Welcome home, Xavier," she said as she passed a critiquing eye over my costume.


    "Thanks. Oh, Paula says ''hi''."


    Rachel might have stiffened a bit, but it could have been my imagination, because a split second later she was back to normal. Was she jealous? It seemed unlikely, just knowing Rachel, but I guess jealousy was a classic source of conflict in manga. Guess I''d have to wait and see if she was unusually curt towards Paula, or stuck closer to me than normal, or something. I was pretty sure the overt displays of jealousy that were common in manga were unlikely to come from Rachel.


    "Hi, Paula," Rachel said lightly.


    "Right. I''m going to go get out of this darn costume."


    Rachel waved me off, Dad headed back to the kitchen with an encouraging pat on my back, and I went and de-vampired myself.


    <hr>


    Back in my room, I curled up in my thinking chair and pondered.


    Even with a little distance, I was still perplexed by my evening with Paula. I couldn''t see any obvious way forward, but perhaps I just needed to organize my thoughts.


    What did I know about Paula at this point? She had a big family, but based on the things her cousins had said both Paula and her mother were not treated very well by a solid chunk of the extended family. I didn''t know anything about her dad; he hadn''t come up at all. Her mom was super awkward and flirty with kids less than half her age. Maybe that was one of the reasons Paula was so casually physical? Not that knowing that really helped me much.


    By her own admission, Paula was feeling lonely and ostracized both by her family and schoolmates. I had a sneaking suspicion that trying to push her into making friends the way I had with Samantha wasn''t going to work, as a result. She was perfectly friendly with me and the rest of the harem, so I didn''t think that social awkwardness was her issue. Honestly, I was still a little baffled just what her issue really might be. Surely not all females in her life were jealous of her, and there had to be some guys who were interested in her for more than her body. Right?You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    Then again, what did I know? Barring any actual evidence, I was just going to need to take her description of her own life at face value.


    All of which left me without much to work with, because I just could not think of how I could possibly help Paula gain confidence in herself without raising a whole bunch of problematic romantic flags. And having seen her extended family, I had even less of an inclination to try and resolve the manga by pursuing her romantically than I''d had before. Paula put me off my stride because her one-two punch of great body and physical flirtiness tended to hit me right in the hormones, but despite now having spent some one-on-one time with her I was still uninterested in dating her.


    Okay, so maybe it was time to reposition. Say there wasn''t much I could do to push Paula down her own road towards happiness. Was that actually a problem? She''d said herself that she wasn''t interested in me romantically, so it was entirely possible that she''d fade out of my life naturally when it came time to graduate. That was an awful long way down the road, but if she was legitimately friend-zoned by her own preference, then she was unlikely to drive the manga plot forward outside of introducing randomness thanks to her propensity for screwing with people. Perhaps this little outing was sufficient to count for exploring the Paula route.


    Oh man did I ever hope that was the case. I guess I''d just have to wait and see how¡ªand if¡ªher behavior had shifted at all around me over the upcoming week. If she was still emotionally hands-off despite being physically hands-on, then I was probably in the clear.


    Leaving me with the conundrum that was Rachel. I was having a really difficult time figuring out what I was going to do to get Rachel out of the harem, or at minimum on a non-romantic track. Since we were living together, she was the harem member I saw most frequently, yet oddly the manga had pretty much left her alone ever since the other girls showed up. I was honestly a little baffled.


    Typically, the main girl in a harem either firmly establishes her relationship with the protagonist early on, or else continually strengthens or affirms it in between escapades with secondary members. I''d certainly seen a lot of Rachel early on¡ªugh, pun not intended; thanks for that, brain¡ªbut we hadn''t crossed paths much in manga-driven ways since.


    While this had left me free to try and address the issues raised by other harem members, it also left me without any good idea of what to do about Rachel.


    On the other hand, Rachel was living in the same house with me. Which meant that she had regular contact with Mom and Dad, both of whom were in on the whole manga thing. Could I just¡­tell her the truth? That was still unreasonably frightening to me for some reason, but Rachel had been living with us for several months now; she was surely aware that three-fourths of the people she lived with were big into manga, and she''d never judged me or said anything about it to anyone at school. I reeeeeally didn''t want to, but perhaps if I just sucked it up and told her about my situation, with Mom and Dad backing me up¡­


    I knew Seamus had the same lunch as I did. If I could convince Rachel to look for friends elsewhere, I''ll bet Paula and Samantha would keep one another company. I''m sure Jill had other friends she could hang out with, and actually if she were dating Seamus it wouldn''t matter so much if she followed me, anyway. That would completely disrupt the main contact I had with the harem on a day-to-day basis, and barring increasingly-unlikely manga coincidences that might put a few nails in the genre''s coffin all on its own.


    This had promise. I''d have to run it by Dad to see if he had any feedback or could spot likely points of failure, but maybe the biggest hurdle I had now was just forcing myself to talk frankly with Rachel.


    While that was a high hurdle for me emotionally, if the payoff was my freedom¡ªwell, that exchange seemed well worth it to me.

 Harem Scarem: 039

    Harem Scarem: 039


    I spent most of the week dithering, but the daily Debbie the Glasses Girl coincidences were starting to worry me:


    <ul>


    <li>On Monday, I turned a corner and barely stopped myself from ramming into her from behind.</li>


    <li>On Tuesday, I was about to leave the bathroom at the end of lunch when I heard her voice asking someone if she had in fact seen me going in there. I ended up late to P.E. as I loitered in the entryway waiting for her to give up and go to class.</li>


    <li>Also on Tuesday, she somehow managed to knock her glasses off her own face while I was walking past her desk to get to an empty spot in pre-calculus. I barely missed stepping on them, and pretended I didn''t notice.</li>


    <li>On Wednesday she just happened to be coming my way down the hallway on three separate occasions, one of which was immediately after I''d taken another route when I saw her coming the first time.</li>


    <li>On Thursday, Samantha was going on about some nice girl in glasses doing something for her before I peaced the hell out.</li>


    </ul>


    It was clear that the genre was desperate to add another harem member to the mix, and was going glasses or bust. I needed to resolve things fast, because I had a sneaking suspicion that even if it stopped trying to shoe-horn Debbie into the harem, it might recall the fact that Ms. Cari?o was still lurking around partially unresolved, and I absolutely had no plan of attack for that.


    So come Friday evening, I marched down to Rachel''s room to have a talk.


    Her door was partially open, and just as I was reaching to knock on it I froze, then redirected to knock on the frame. Lucky lechery potential, avoided.


    "Yes?" Rachel called.


    "Hey, Rachel, are you busy? I was wondering if we could talk."


    "Sure, just give me a moment!"


    "Okay, I''ll be in the Lab."


    "Be there soon!"


    <hr>


    I sat down in the Lab, my leg jerking up and down with nerves. The last time I''d tried this particular stunt, it ended with Emily summarily dumping me and escaping across the state. Not my favorite memory. I knew in my head that talking to Rachel definitely wasn''t going to go wrong in quite that way, but I was still feeling awfully panicky when a damp-around-the-edges Rachel slipped demurely into the room. I guess she''d just taken an after-dinner shower. Thank goodness I caught myself before knocking.


    "Hey, Xavier," she said, sliding into the chair across from me. "What''s up?"


    "Uh," I managed, coherent in the face of stress as always, and intentionally forcing myself not to think about how nice Rachel''s shampoo or soap or whatever smelled, or the way a curl of wet hair had escaped the quick bun she''d thrown it into and was caressing the nape of her neck, or¡ªdammit!


    "Is everything alright?"


    Shit, how was I even going to broach the topic? I opened my mouth, not sure what would even come out. "I¡ªhave¡ªI want out of this manga!" Crap, was I tearing up? This was not the reasoned explanation I''d hoped to deliver.


    Rachel sat back in the chair, but said nothing. I couldn''t read her expression at all.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    "So¡ªthe thing is¡ªall of these books? They''re manga. Comics from Japan, except with a lot fewer super-heroes. And you know, I always thought they were fiction. But then one day¡ªat Tracy''s, you remember?¡ªI broke through the fourth wall and discovered that I''m in a manga. We all are, we''re all characters in it, except I''m the protagonist and I hate it!"


    I forced myself to a stop before I broke down any further, and snuck a peek at Rachel. She had a far-off look in her eye and was staring up toward the corner of the room. I still couldn''t tell what she was thinking. What had I even said? Shit, she probably thought I was nuts. I opened my mouth, shut it, opened it again. Shut it again. How was I going to explain this now?


    Before I could figure out whether I was going to dig my hole a little deeper or give up and flee, Rachel spoke up. "You know, I''d kind of suspected."


    "No, listen, you see¡ªwait, what?"


    "About a month and a half ago, I caught Vickie reading under my bed, and when she fled I discovered the first few volumes in a manga series." Vickie was under her¡ªno, wait, that actually didn''t surprise me at all. "Anyway, I asked her about them when I caught up to her, and I was kind of curious when I realized this whole room was all manga. So I was reading some of her recommendations, and I started to notice some weird similarities to your life. Plus you''ve never seen how Paula and Jill and Samantha interact when you''re not around, have you? Well, I guess that''s obvious. Anyway, they''re really different. Paula, especially, although she does still like to give Samantha grief. I''ve been to a lot of schools, and something about the way those girls were acting around you just¡ªwasn''t normal."


    I really wanted to make a snappy comeback to that, but I was still stuck on the fact that Rachel believed me. "You noticed? Why didn''t you say¡ª?"


    Rachel looked embarrassed. "Well, I mean I didn''t really believe. It''s crazy, right? There''s no way we''re fictional characters."


    "I know exactly what you mean."


    "But then I overheard a couple things when your mom and dad were talking to one another, and well¡­I guess I wondered. But you''ve actually seen proof? Did I get that right?"


    "Yeah, I broke through the fourth wall. Do you know that term?" She nodded. "Plus apparently Mom was stuck in a manga when she was in college. I think it really messed her up."


    Rachel gave a noncommittal hum. "So why talk to me about this?"


    I took a deep breath. "Mom and Dad think I can end the story if I successfully escape the genre. I''ve been trying to figure out what motivates everyone in order to find ways to get them to¡ªwell¡ªI guess leave me alone. I''m reasonably certain I''m in a¡ªrom-com, and without female heroines there''s no rom-com. But it''s kind of awkward with you, because you know, we live together, so¡­" I shifted in place. Man, this was nerve-wracking.


    Rachel''s calm demeanor never changed, though. "What exactly are you asking me to do?"


    "Could you just¡ªmaybe try to avoid me at school for a bit? Sit with other friends at lunch, talk to other people in the classroom, you know that kind of thing? I really think that would do the trick."


    Rachel was silent for a little while, but then smiled a tight-lipped smile. "Sure, Xavier. I can do that for you. How will you know if it works?"


    "Well, the weird manga coincidences should go away. And you said that Paula and the others behave differently when I''m not around, right? I''ll bet that''s their normal behavior. If the manga ends, they''ll probably revert to that all the time."


    "Right." She moved as if to stand and then paused. "Do you need anything else?"


    "No, that was all."


    "Well¡ªgood luck then."


    I stood with her and impulsively grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you so much, Rachel. I really appreciate this."


    "Mm-hm." She extricated herself and left the room.


    I did it. Did I actually do it? I think I did it. Was I missing anything? I mean there was Ms.¡ªno, I wasn''t even going to think about that. Monday at lunch. That would be my real test. Dammit, I was sitting somewhere else if it killed me.


    <hr>


    Monday rolled around, and when lunch hit I was first out the door and moving down the hall fast enough I must have been a blur.


    I spotted Seamus right as he was sitting down with his band-mates. "Hey, Seamus, mind if I join you guys?"


    "Hey there, X-man! Of course, you''re welcome. Scoot over, Matt."


    As I sat down, I saw Rachel walk by without giving me a second glance and I felt a twinge of guilt over suddenly abandoning her and the other girls.


    But damn it all, this was my life! And as I settled into a completely normal high school lunch, for the first time in a long, long time it felt as if that were actually true.

 Harem Scarem: 040

    Harem Scarem: 040


    A week had passed since I''d successfully convinced Rachel to exit my orbit and changed up my lunch routine, and my life had quickly been trending back towards normality. While I still ran across the harem members with a fair bit of regularity, and likely would until the end of the semester, it was very obvious that their focus had universally shifted away from me to other pursuits. I hadn''t really realized how much attention they had been paying me until I was being treated like any other acquaintance or semi-friend. The weird coincidences with Debbie had completely ceased, as well, and both Mom and Dad agreed that I''d likely bucked the genre.


    I was incredibly happy, but also a bit lonely. Seamus was back to noticing I existed, but none of my other friends had the same lunch, so I was feeling isolated. Not that I regretted escaping the harem! But even so¡­


    In any case, I was drifting in that state that''s midway between waking and sleeping late one Friday night about a week later when I dreamt I heard a soft voice.


    Yahello, E.O. Tenkey here!


    Pffft, what a stupid name. Whoever chose that pseudonym was clearly creativity-deficient.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    I know it''s the standard in afterwards to thank a long list of personal acquaintances, but honestly almost no one who actually knows me in person has read Not A Manga, so the person I most want to thank is you! Thank you for spending the time to read this story! I started writing Not A Manga because it was something I wanted to read, but I only finished it thanks to readers like yourself.


    Wait, afterward? Hell yeah, vindication! Suck on that, Genre!


    I hope you have enjoyed getting to know Xavier and his friends and family, and if you liked the story (or even if you didn''t) please consider leaving a review, a simple star rating, or recommending it to mostly-strangers online. I''d really love to be able to support myself with my writing, and word of mouth is the strongest tool available to me for working towards that goal.


    I hope you drown in single stars, you hack.


    In any case, to my personal surprise the story ended up heading in some unexpected directions, particularly towards the end. Both slice-of-life stories and rom-coms are admittedly outside my typical comfort zone genre-wise, so perhaps it''s understandable that the characters moved in directions I didn''t expect.


    Or perhaps it''s because we''re real people, not characters.


    Regardless, while the story may have ended a little short by typical standards for fiction, fear not! What genre is in store next for our beleaguered protagonist? Join me for volume 2, and you''ll find out!


    Until the next volume!


    ¡ªE.O. Tenkey


    <hr>


    I shot upright, my heart pounding as I tore straight from a doze into all-out panic.


    Volume 2?! VOLUME 2?! YOU MOTHER-FU¡ª

 Volume 1 Authors Note (Royal Road exclusive)

    Hey there, E.O. Tenkey here! I know I already said this in the afterward, but thank you so much for reading the entirety of Not A Manga volume 1! It ended up wrapping up quicker than I originally anticipated, but we''re still in light novel territory, so I''m content.


    Before we move onto volume 2, I wanted to say a few things (and without Xavier''s snarky interjections).


    First, I''ve already said this but please consider leaving a review! Aside from increasing exposure for the story, I''m really curious what people think about the first volume. It''s a bit different from the normal style of story here on Royal Road, and I''d love to hear what worked for you and what didn''t. Additionally, the second volume is going to be quite different from the first (in more ways than one), so I''m hoping to get some good reviews in before I go making a bunch of people angry. (¡ú_¡ú)


    Second, I''ll be taking August off and resuming publication in early September. My job has a massive deployment in mid-August that''s likely to eat my time for a bit, and I want to establish a buffer on volume 2 so I can get back to providing Patreon subscribers with advance chapters. And hey, maybe that will help me actually get Patreon subscribers.


    Third, the cover for volume 1 should be done by the time I start publishing volume 2! Whoo! This process has taken a lot longer than I anticipated, but I''m looking forward to finally getting something a little more interesting than a blue sky up there.


    Fourth, if you stumbled through the fourth wall and discovered you were a character in a manga, what would you do? What genre would you hope to be stuck in and why? Sound off in the comments!


    I''ll see you again in about a month! Harem Scarem may be complete, but the time for Styx draws nigh¡­If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    <hr>


    "But what will I read in the interim?!" I hear you cry. Well, why not try some actual harem manga?


    I am a self-professed non-fan of harem manga (and there''s a lot of really bad ones out there), but I still find myself reading a few harem series nonetheless. They have an odd appeal to them. Kind of like a train wreck, only titillating.


    If you would like to try harem manga, here are some to consider (all links lead to official publisher''s pages):


    <ul>


    <li>The Quintessential Quintuplets</a> (ongoing): this is one of the most well-executed harems I''ve read in the recent past. I''m not sure how well the author will wrap everything up, but the basic mystery element that''s embedded in the premise is a genius hook.</li>


    <li>We Never Learn</a> (ongoing): this is a good example of a very by-the-book slice-of-life harem rom-com.</li>


    <li>Haganai: I Don''t Have Many Friends</a> (ongoing): a great example of the willfully ignorant protagonist. This author is really good at mocking harem tropes while simultaneously using them, as well.</li>


    <li>Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches</a> (completed, but not all volumes in English yet): body-swapping harem hijinks. It kind of petered out near the end, but this is one of the series that got me into giving harem manga a chance at all.</li>


    <li>Masamune-kun''s Revenge</a> (completed, but not all volumes in English yet): like most harem stories, this one petered out near the end. A lot of fun for a good chunk of it, though.</li>


    <li>Love Hina</a> (completed): I don''t like this manga much, but it''s one of the classic examples that put slice-of-life harem rom-coms on the map. A lot of harem manga are reusing or reacting against tropes codified in Love Hina, so if you''re interested in harem manga as a cultural phenomenon it might be worth a look.</li>


    </ul>

 Styx: 001

    Styx: 001


    Even before he properly awoke, Xavier knew that something was drastically wrong. For one thing, everything just felt¡­slightly detached, almost, as if he had previously been staring directly at a picture but had taken a single step back and to the side.


    Plus his bedroom didn''t typically smell like a desert. When Xavier was younger, his family had taken a vacation to southern California, and visited Death Valley as part of their sight-seeing. His memories of the whole trip were fuzzy, but what he was smelling now rocketed him straight back to climbing a sand dune in the early morning as the sun was just clearing the mountains to the east.


    Why did his bedroom smell like the desert?


    Adrenaline shot through him, and Xavier bolted upright in bed. His mattress, complete with sheets and pillow but sans bedframe, was lying at the top of a giant sand dune surrounded by more giant sand dunes as far as he could see in any direction. Vegetation was practically non-existent, although there was a spotty amount of scraggly ground cover down the near side of his dune. The sun was just cresting the horizon diagonally over his left shoulder. There were no animals in sight, and the only thing he could hear was his own panicked breathing and the slight susurration of the sand in an early morning breeze.


    Shit shit shit shit shit! He was in a desert. He was in bed, in a desert. He was in his pajamas, in bed, in a desert. Unless this was a particularly horrible and random dream that meant only one thing: he was in an isekai manga. In a desert. In bed. In his pajamas.


    He was royally screwed.


    <hr>


    Isekai, or "other world", was a genre in which the protagonist was transported into a fantasy world. The most common trope in recent years was to have the main character die and be reincarnated with their memories of modern day Japan intact. These ran the gamut from waking up as a fully-cognizant baby in another world, to unlocking their memories as a teenager, to simply having their old physical body transplanted into the new world.


    Given that the last thing he remembered was peacefully lying down to sleep, and that his mattress and sheets came with him, Xavier doubted he was in that sort of plotline. That was good news, in one respect: it meant there was hope he might find his way back home. It was bad in another: that style of plotline almost always had an initial encounter with some form of deity who would grant some overpowered ability or at the very least provide basic information about what he was getting himself into.


    As things stood, he had gone to bed and woken up in a world that might well be completely alien.


    So when, following the realization that he''d been dropped into a manga plotline with a vengeance, he sat frozen in bed for several minutes of mind-blanking panic, he felt entirely justified.


    <hr>


    Unfortunately, quietly panicking was not going to get him anywhere, and as the line of sunlight chased its way across his dune, Xavier was forced to move.


    First things first: he got out of bed. The sand was gritty between his toes, but not yet unpleasantly warm. The simple act of moving seemed to jumpstart his brain, and as he quickly explored the dune he was on, his mind was in overdrive.


    He ventured toward the leeward side of the dune and peered down. As he''d thought, he didn''t recognize any of the sparse vegetation.


    So what did he know? Although his initial assumption was that he was in an isekai there was an outside chance that he was still on Earth and had just teleported or been kidnapped or something. If he was supremely unlucky this might be a death game, though the lack of any sort of facilitator or fellow panicked participants made that less likely. Based on the things his father had told him, it certainly wasn''t the Labyrinth Obscura, at the very least.


    There was also an outside chance that he''d landed in a survival manga, but he doubted it. He lacked the requisite specialist knowledge, no one else who held such knowledge was around, and he''d seemingly teleported along with his mattress. That last bit in particular made the survival genre incredibly unlikely.


    Regardless of the genre, though, he had one obvious choice of action: he had to move. Without water or shelter, he was in serious danger, but on the plus side the fact that he had absolutely no idea what was going on was likely to work in his favor: in order to advance the plot he necessarily needed to encounter someone. Since no one had stumbled over him yet, that meant he needed to head out in search of a manga coincidence.


    Alright, so before he went running off with nothing but the pajamas on his back and hope in his heart, what were his assets? Could he use anything that came with him?


    ¡­Maybe not so much. He literally had just his sheets and mattress. Xavier was cursing himself for not sleeping with a water bottle or phone or something in his bed. He''d never expected to be transported somewhere while he slept, though.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    On second thought: his sheets were basically white. And he recalled that people native to deserts often wore white robes to help offset the sun''s energy¡­


    A few minutes later, Xavier was wrapped in his upper and lower sheets and awkwardly sliding down the least steep side of the dune he could find. Behind him his mattress sat, a corner of his comforter flapping lonely in the breeze as sand began to gather in its folds. He''d thought about bringing it, but ultimately decided that less weight would lead to less energy spent and further travel before he collapsed from exhaustion. He might regret that decision come nightfall, but he had to live until nightfall first and being able to travel a little farther might be the difference between finding the coincidence that saved his life and missing it.


    <hr>


    Initially Xavier tried walking in as straight a line as he could. However, after struggling up the second massive dune he gave it up and wended his way as best he could around and across the feet of the dunes. There were so few landmarks that he wasn''t confident he could maintain a straight course even if walking up the dunes in his bare feet hadn''t been incredibly painful and difficult. Rocks and the occasional course underbrush scraped at him, while the sand scoured the unwounded parts of his feet raw and somehow managed to make its way into his sheets and pajamas.


    Worst of all was the omnipresent heat. It pushed at him like a physical thing, as if the air had turned oddly gelatinous. As he stumbled through the increasingly searing hot sand he almost imagined that he could see eddies and currents of heat curling around him.


    Isekai manga protagonists tended to come in two flavors: overpowered and underdog. Occasionally, a protagonist would be both, usually starting as an underdog and then thanks to fighting through horrific adversity or exploiting loopholes in the way the world functioned transforming into a powerhouse.


    Given his starting conditions, Xavier was reasonably certain he was an underdog. He lacked any comprehensive knowledge of gaming, physics, or practical mechanics so some of the most obvious paths to becoming overpowered were closed to him from the start. He sincerely hoped that he wasn''t expected to subsist off of magical water or something in a narrative attempt to shortcut him to unfathomable power; those sorts of isekai almost always resulted in the protagonist being effectively tortured for a solid chunk of the story, losing a lot of their humanity, and ending up physically altered to the point they couldn''t survive in their original world even if returning was an option.


    He refused to countenance the possibility of being in that sort of story. And if he spotted any magically glowing water, he made a firm resolution to head the other direction immediately, no matter how thirsty he was feeling.


    As he trudged further, thought became all but impossible. He had hoped to spend his trip brainstorming possible narrative structures and thinking of countermeasures, but with each shifting footstep his focus became more and more tenuous.


    Several hours later, as the sun crossed the zenith of the sky, Xavier stumbled into the shadow of a large boulder partially submerged in the side of a dune and collapsed into an exhausted doze.


    <hr>


    In his dream, he was back two years in time at the beginning of his sophomore year, and he was sitting at lunch surrounded by girls. Paula was teasing Samantha, who was spluttering and red in the face. Jill was enthusiastically describing her latest cross-country meet to Rachel. Ms. Cari?o was sitting across from him, wearing a dress she would never have been caught dead sporting in school. The table bumped, and when he peeked underneath he spotted Vickie, dodging legs as she read a manga. His mother wandered by in the background, giving him a concerned smile as she passed.


    Xavier sat quietly and let the conversation wash over him. He knew that he would escape the manga soon, but for now he took the opportunity to simply enjoy being surrounded by beautiful, interesting people. He''d told himself time and again over the last two years that he''d made the right choice¡ªthat playing along with the genre would have meant completely sacrificing control of his life¡ªbut surrounded by the susurration of happy voices he allowed himself to wonder if that were really true.


    Rachel leaned over and placed her hand across his own. At first it was pleasantly warm, but it quickly heated to the point of discomfort. He tried to shift his arm out from under her, but she moved with him. "Xavier," said Rachel. "You need to wake up. It''s time to move on."


    <hr>


    Xavier came awake gasping, coughing, dizzy, and disoriented. In his sleep he had evidently flung his hand out of his sheets, and the sun had come around the boulder he''d sheltered behind and hit his skin directly. He fumbled his arm back into the sheets and scooted around the rock to keep himself fully in its shade, meager as it was.


    His mouth was dry and felt if it were caked with sand. He craved a drink of water with an intensity he had never felt before. At this point, he''d take his chances even if it were glowing, no questions asked.


    With difficulty, he forced himself upright, clutching the gritty sheets around himself more out of habit than any forethought. He needed to keep going. The sun was trending toward the horizon, and he was certain he had to start walking again. He was not confident he would be able to survive another day; he needed a manga coincidence as soon as possible.


    The afternoon devolved into a torturous pattern of staggering, pain, and dizziness. His vision narrowed to little more than the sand in front of him as he laboriously wended his way between the dunes.


    As the sun dipped lower and lower and his shadow stretched further and further, the landscape around him beginning to change in subtle ways without his noticing. The dunes began flattening out and occurring further and further apart. The number of small plants increased, and occasional signs of animal life appeared: a lizard that whipped away behind a rock as Xavier''s shadow crossed it; the barely-perceptible specks of birds coasting far overhead; a shift and scurry of some small insect fleeing Xavier''s footsteps.


    Xavier''s path, never particularly straight to being with, began to curve and wend about without any obvious reason. All he knew was that something drew him forward, or perhaps drove him from behind. If the sunlight struck like fiery arrows, somewhere ahead of him was the warmth of a cookfire. Or perhaps the rush of steam from a giant bath.


    Though he''d probably drink it rather than soak in it. Maybe he''d do both.


    And then he rounded the curve of one of the last big dunes he''d stumbled past in a while, and the cookfire or the sauna or whatever was right there. Except he hadn''t found his way to a miraculous cooked meal or place of relaxation.


    He''d instead wandered straight into the middle of a pitched battle.

 Styx: 002

    Styx: 002


    Xavier initially didn''t understand what he was seeing, hearing, and smelling. He''d been little more than a pair of legs and an unending sense of discomfort for so long that upon finding himself in the middle of a fight he simply froze in place, his fight or flight response gone haywire.


    It didn''t help that the participants in the fight put paid to the thought that this might be anything but an isekai.


    On one side was a literal monster. It looked almost like a spider, but instead of eight legs it had six. It was also oddly mammalian; where a spider would have exoskeleton, this thing was all knotted muscle and course, short hair. Where Xavier would have expected its eyes, there was nothing but a flat expanse of skin above a too-wide mouth full of rows of jagged teeth, like some shark gone horribly awry.


    And it was huge. Xavier could likely have walked upright underneath its body without brushing its stomach. Despite its size, the thing moved in quick bursts, scuttling and attacking in unexpected directions. It currently wasn''t facing directly toward him, but had its face angled off to his left.


    Arrayed against the spider-monkey-shark monster was a small group of¡ªwell, they were animal people. If Xavier hadn''t known he was in a manga already, that would have been a damn big clue. Stalking around the monster''s side to Xavier''s right was an honest-to-goodness cat boy who looked about Xavier''s own age, complete with perky ears jutting out of his hair and a tail emerging from his lower back. He was dressed in some sort of flowing white material with a short tunic around his legs and was carrying spear. Beyond the cat boy, almost entirely behind the monster, was an older man who appeared to be part bear. Unlike the cat person, his ursine features dominated, and Xavier could swear that as he watched that the man''s chest muscles rippled and expanded.


    In the split second Xavier had taken to observe the cat boy and bear man, the monster threw itself in a circle, one of its front-most limbs lashing out and sending the bear man flying back into the dunes. The monster snarled, several of its limbs sending bursts of sand skyward as they pounded into the ground in preparation to giving chase, but the cat boy sprang toward it and with a flying leap rammed his spear into its abdomen.


    The thing screeched and whirled again, flinging the cat boy from the haft of his spear and forcing him to dodge between its flailing legs to escape. The spear in turn slid free shortly after the cat boy landed and flew into the sand a few yards away in a spray of dark blood or ichor.


    As the cat boy desperately tried to escape from underneath the thing, the other animal people attacked in force. They were a motley band, with a broad range of ages, species, and balance between human and animal features. Xavier spotted two men and a woman with pointed ears like a wolf or dog¡ªthe men with swords and woman with a small axe¡ªwho were prowling around the monster. Although they were silent, they seemed to be moving in concert: one would dart forward only to fall back if the monster swung a limb their way while the other two attacked from its flanks. There was also a woman with feathers instead of hair and what looked like talons instead of feet. She was having difficulty connecting as the monster preternaturally dodged whenever she leaped at it. Two people hung back; one a man who had curled goat horns sprouting from his forehead and was holding an absurdly large hammer, and the other a woman who had shorter straight horns and was holding some sort of oversized spear or axe.


    With a roar, the bear man¡ªlooking far more bear than man compared to moments ago¡ªcame barreling out of the sand and slammed against one of the things legs, scratching and biting.


    For a moment, Xavier thought the animal people were going to bring the monster down, but after it paused in apparent surprise at having its middle limb mauled by a bear, the thing exploded in a flurry of movement.


    The bear man was thrust back, stumbling from a blow to the head. One of the wolf or dog men flew off opposite Xavier with a yelp from a blow he hadn''t seen. The bird woman was swatted from the air and landed with an explosion of sand, while the cat boy was forced to scramble away once again as the battle trended toward where he had been frantically digging around for his spear.


    The bear growled as he rolled to his feet, and the whole party¡ªincluding the goat people who had been hanging back¡ªclustered together near where the bird woman and wolf man had fallen on the opposite side of the monster from Xavier. The monster snapped at the wolf woman as she passed, but danced back out of range when she and one of the goat people took swings at it with their respective sword and hammer.


    Unfortunately, moving away from the animal people meant it was moving toward Xavier.


    As who-knew-how-many pounds of impossible monster loomed toward him, Xavier finally broke through his shock and gut-level disbelief and panicked. A quick glance around revealed a large rock to his right; Xavier dove for it and hunkered down, hoping that the seemingly blind monstrosity wouldn''t notice him there.


    Though he couldn''t see with his head tucked down behind the rock, from the sounds of it the group of animal people had resumed their assault, but the dull thumps and varying exclamations of pain told him that the creature was landing more blows in this second sortie than the animal people.


    As the initial burst of panicked adrenaline faded slightly, he realized that this was a classic isekai initial scenario. Admittedly, most isekai would have had him encounter a single cat girl in desperate straights, rather than this odd mish-mash of animal people, but regardless it was the perfect incentive to unlock the hidden potential within himself, save the day, and in a single stroke of bad-assery claim a place in this obviously hostile world.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    Rather than feeling any hidden potential rising up within him, though, Xavier simply felt jittery, out of breath, and deathly afraid. It was one thing to read about a heroic Japanese high schooler facing off against some monstrosity in a small black and white panel. It was something entirely different when the monster itself was looming above him and hurling animal people through the air mere yards away. The thing moved and sounded and smelled completely wrong. It set his hackles on end, and unlike some of the company he''d found himself in he didn''t actually have hackles.


    As he crouched behind his rock, paralyzed with indecision, the pounding sound of the monster''s limbs impacting the sand grew suddenly nearer. Xavier looked up in a second abrupt panic just in time to see one of the monster''s back limbs crash into the ground mere feet away.


    With a yelp, he scrambled backward and slammed straight into another of the monster''s limbs. His head bounced off the corded muscle and his right hand landed square on the blunt foot that terminated the limb.


    The thing and Xavier both froze, and Xavier felt something truly bizarre. The monster''s skin was uncomfortably warm, its hair course and almost sharp. However, what locked him in place wasn''t the unpleasant sensations his sense of touch were communicating to him, but rather an alien sensation that he could make no sense of. It was like¡ªa drink of brackish water at the end of a hot day; the ebb of pain after being hooked up to an I.V. drip; walking into a room and turning on the lights, only to find that it wasn''t the room he''d expected. He wasn''t sure what, but something small but noticeable had changed when he''d come into contact with the monster''s foot.


    Evidently something changed for the monster, as well, because it screamed even louder than when the cat boy had stabbed it and Xavier found himself flying into the rock he''d been trying to hide behind, tumbling painfully over top of it, and landing on the far side.


    For a moment he just gasped and choked against the sand, trying to regain his breath. When he finally forced himself painfully to his knees, the monster had moved several yards away and was being beset by the animal people from all sides.


    Moments ago, the thing''s inhuman coordination had fought its antagonists to an impasse, but now the monster was stumbling, one of its back limbs buckling underneath it and throwing off its balance just enough that two wolf people were able to lope underneath it and bury a sword and an axe deep into the joints of two more of its legs before rolling clear.


    At least one of the blows seemed to have hamstrung the monster¡ªor severed whatever congruent muscle it had in place of hamstrings¡ªas the leg with the axe still buried in it promptly collapsed under the thing''s weight, almost pinning the second wolf man under its body. As it went to several of its knees, the goat people, bear man, and cat boy¡ªwho evidently had finally dug his spear back up¡ªdescended on it en masse.


    What followed was ugly. The goat man methodically began crushing every joint he could reach with his absurdly large hammer. The cat boy stabbed repeatedly into the monster''s forelimbs as it tried to swat its attackers off. The goat woman sprang nimbly up the monster''s side, and began to try to chop through the smooth skin above its mouth from atop its back, and the bear man simply shredded any part of it he could reach with his claws and teeth, spraying blood and skin every which way.


    The monster struggled, but was unable to regain its feet. It managed to get one of the bear man''s legs into its mouth and for a moment red blood joined the ichor in the air, but then the goat woman apparently penetrated to something vital and buried her weapon in the monster''s head. With a final keening cry, it shuddered and dropped fully onto the sand, the only remaining sign of life feeble twitches that shuddered through its body and limbs at intervals.


    As soon as the fight went out of the thing, the wolf people were at the bear''s side, helping him extricate his leg from the monster''s mouth. The bear growled something Xavier couldn''t make out to one of them, whose head instantly came up. Yellow eyes locked onto Xavier''s and Xavier momentarily forgot to breathe.


    He was shocked out of his moment of feeling like prey when the bird woman landed next to him in a surprisingly light puff of sand. She waved an oddly articulated arm toward the wolf person and turned her gaze on Xavier, head shifting back and forth in a manner reminiscent of a bird, despite having eyes on the font of her face like a human.


    ?A human? Where did you come from? Are you alright??


    Wait, what language was that? It sounded vaguely familiar, but Xavier didn''t understand anything the bird lady said.


    She reached out one of her hands to him. ?It''s alright, we''ve put down the youkai.?


    Still unsure what she was saying, Xavier grabbed her hand and she helped pull him to his feet.


    As he stood, her expression shifted quickly from concern, to confusion, to anger and fear as her hand in his subtly changed. He felt her claws retract with a slight scratch, and was just opening his mouth to ask¡ªin what was likely a futile effort¡ªwhat was going on when her bare taloned foot shot up and she planted a solid kick straight to his stomach.


    Xavier flew back and landed painfully in the sand, the breath completely knocked out of him a second time in so many minutes. He painfully sat up and immediately froze. The wolf people had abandoned the bear man as he struggled to regain his ability to breathe and were surrounding him with weapons out while the bird lady looked on from several feet away where she had evidently jumped after kicking him.


    ?Tobi! What happened?? growled the wolf man standing behind Xavier''s right shoulder.


    ?I was helping him, and he siphoned my Vigor!?


    ?Who are you, human?? said the wolf woman, sheathing her axe in a small hoop at her waist and dropping into a squat in front of him. Her fellow''s swords stayed pointed at his neck.


    "I''m really sorry," said Xavier. "I don''t understand a word you''re saying."


    All four animal people froze. ?Rokuro,? said the wolf woman. ?You recognize that language? Tobi?? The bird woman crossed her arms in an X shape, and then began massaging the forearm of the hand she had offered to Xavier. ?Well,? continued the wolf woman. ?You''re a puzzle.?


    ?Leave him? Kill him?? said the wolf man to Xavier''s left.


    The animal people kept talking, but Xavier tuned them out as realization dawned. He''d actually caught that. The wolf man said something about killing.


    All of them were speaking Japanese.


    Of course they were. People in other worlds in manga almost always spoke Japanese.


    Two semesters of high school introductory Japanese hadn''t remotely prepared him for this.

 Styx: 003

    Styx: 003


    The animal people''s argument was growing heated, and Xavier wracked his brains for any Japanese that might help. He was fairly certain he could ask someone to repeat something a little slower, for all the good that would do him, and he was confident he could comment that the weather sure was nice, wasn''t it? That had been the get-out-of-jail-free phrase in their class that they used whenever they couldn''t remember what they were actually supposed to say.


    Fortunately, he also knew how to politely introduce himself for the first time, if he could ever get a word in edgewise.


    Movement in his peripheral vision made him start. The cat boy had slipped up next to Xavier and was crouched on his heels watching him. Well, no time like the present.


    ?Hello, it is nice to meet you. My name is Xavier.?


    The short hairs on the cat boy''s ears and around the fringes of his hair frizzed up as his eyes widened in surprise.


    ?What are you idiots talking about?? he called to the others. ?This human can speak just fine.? He turned his attention back to Xavier. ?Hey, I''m Yukio.?


    Xavier caught approximately none of that, though he was fairly certain the cat boy''s name was Yukio.


    ?What are you doing so close to the Deadlands? What is that crazy thing you''re wearing? Where are you from? Did you actually siphon Tobi? You''re not a mononoke are you??


    "Uh," said Xavier. He''d always thought cats were really aloof creatures, but maybe that didn''t apply to cat people? ?Could you please repeat that more slowly??


    ?What are you doing so close¡ªwait, do you understand what I''m saying? The sun is purple and made out of yak milk. I''m speaking s-l-o-w-l-y. Understand??


    Ah he caught the last word. ?I do not understand.?


    Yukio stared at him with an expression Xavier couldn''t read, then out of the blue snatched Xavier''s hand. Xavier instinctively flinched and tried to pull away, but Yukio kept a firm grip on him.


    After a few seconds, the cat boy dropped his hand with a cough. ?That tickles! I don''t think he''s siphoning on purpose; he just does it instinctively. Tobi, you probably got hit hard because you''re still bulked up. Anyway, can I keep him? He''s interesting, and I''m pretty sure if we leave him here he''ll just die. He doesn''t look very good. Come on, Hisao-san, we can take him with us, right??


    ?Very well,? rumbled a voice from behind Xavier, causing him to stiffen. He was so sick of these people sneaking up on him. A hairy hand clamped down on his shoulder as the bear man leaned down to stare at him with an ursine eye. ?Behave yourself, human, or you''ll deal with me.? With an annoyed look, the bear man lifted his now more-human-looking hand from Xavier''s shoulder and shook it as if it had fallen asleep. ?And stop doing that. No wonder Tobi kicked him. Yukio, the human is your responsibility.? The bear man moved past Xavier and addressed the rest of the animal people. ?Move out. I don''t trust this unnatural calm to last, and we''re too far into the Deadlands for my liking. We''ve wasted too much time on this foundling.?This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Weapons were sheathed, and Xavier breathed easier as the animal people''s focus shifted away from him. Now he just had to convince them to take him¡ª


    ?Up you go!? came the voice of Yukio, and Xavier found himself hoisted to his feet. ?What did you say your name was? Your name? Name, do you understand??


    Ah, he caught that last bit. ?Hello, it is nice to meet you. My name is Xavier.?


    Yukio made an odd coughing sound, and Xavier realized a moment later it was laughter. ?So formal! Also, don''t know I you noticed but we''ve already met. So Zabi-kun, then.?


    Xavier shook his head. "Xavier. My name is Xavier. I mean, uh¡ª" How to say it? ?My name. Xavier.?


    ?Yeah, yeah, Zabi-kun it is.?


    Xavier had a feeling this was one battle he wasn''t going to win.


    <hr>


    It was only after an hour or more that Xavier''s body realized that he hadn''t had any water since the previous evening and had spent the majority of the day walking. Without his willing it, his legs simply folded and he ended up falling in the sand.


    Yukio was crouched by him in an instant. ?Oy, Zabi-kun, you alright??


    ?Idiot,? snorted one of the goat people, who had been walking nearby. ?He has no supplies at all, and he came from the direction of the Deadlands. What did you think was going to happen when you decided to make a misplaced human your charity case??


    Yukio just stared at the goat person, who snorted and turned away. Xavier tried to push himself up, but found his arms surprisingly unwilling.


    ?Alright, up you get,? said Yukio, and hauled Xavier to his feet. ?You stay here, ''kay?? The cat boy turned away and headed off toward the bear person. Xavier blearily tried to follow him, and ended up face-first in the sand again for his trouble.


    A minute later, Yukio was back, minus his spear. He hauled Xavier to his feet, and began half-carrying him along.


    They continued on that way through the twilight, Xavier barely conscious of anything more than trying to get one foot in front of the other while a surprisingly strong cat boy hauled him along.


    Full dark fell like a curtain over a lamp, and the group gathered together for a short stop for the first time since the monster had been killed. After a short discussion that Xavier completely failed to follow, the group set out again but in a much tighter cluster. Xavier was hoisted over the shoulder of one of the goat people with a weak protest, and they ventured out in the shimmering light of something held in the hands of several of the group who were at the periphery. It almost seemed like magic, since Xavier could have sworn no one was carrying torches or any sort of extensive supplies, but he never caught a good glimpse of what they were holding and quickly lapsed into a painful fugue state.


    The next thing he was aware of was being flopped onto the ground, bedsheets a gritty tangle around his body and limbs. A rough hand forced the fabric away from his face and thrust something against his mouth, and then all he was aware of was water, glorious warm stale-tasting water. Xavier gulped, choked, and somehow managed to swallow what felt like a gallon of water before someone took it away from him. ?Enough,? rumbled a voice he couldn''t understand. ?Rest now.?


    Xavier didn''t need to overcome the language barrier to follow that final command.

 Styx: 004

    Styx: 004


    Xavier was shaken awake the next morning by Yukio, the cat boy. The sky had just barely started to lighten, but already the animal people were striking camp. He couldn''t see much of what they were doing in the dim light, but it appeared that they were traveling extremely light. Aside from the blankets they had wrapped around themselves the night before and their weapons, they each had a backpack that seemed to be devoted almost wholly to food and water. After a brief but heated discussion, one of the goat people gave him a hard-peeled fruit he couldn''t identify and a small slab of something like a really thick biscuit. Fortunately, every single animal person was carrying a surprising amount of water skins, and Xavier was able to wash what little of the hard tack or whatever it was down. Despite having nothing to eat and relatively little to drink the previous day, he found he didn''t have much appetite. While the animal people finished eating and packing up their belongings, Xavier crouched and shivered in his bed sheets. Without the thick blanket he''d had the night before, the temperature was bitterly cold.


    Finally, Yukio led him away from the group, and after a series of awkward charades that culminated in a practical demonstration, convinced him to try to go to the bathroom. That somewhat mortifying experience over, the group set out.


    While he still felt terrible, having easy access to water and a group of people to rely on who obviously knew what they were doing finally gave Xavier some space to think about his situation.


    It had been a close thing, but he''d successfully found his manga coincidence yesterday, and now he had to wonder: what next? From the animal people''s behavior, it seemed obvious that humans were unusual in this desert, but thankfully he hadn''t noticed any overtly aggressive behavior. After¡ªwhatever it was¡ªhappened with the bird girl they''d certainly been hostile, but she''d seemed frightened and angry, so he didn''t think they were biased against humans so much as worried that he personally was a threat. That was a huge relief. It was distressingly common in isekai manga to have animal people relegated to second-class citizenship, or worse, straight-up slavery. While Xavier had appreciated reading about noble-hearted protagonists who treated animal people equally (usually adding a cat girl or two to their harem along the way), he didn''t think the reality of being thrown in with a group of people who had been systematically exploited by humans for who-knew-how-long would have been at all pleasant.


    His memory was hazy, but he thought he remembered some sort of magical light last night, as well. That coupled with the weird sensations he''d felt whenever he touched a living thing indicated he had some sort of special ability. He just had no idea what it might be or how he might use it. Definitely something to explore when he had a chance, though, if only to avoid getting kicked in the chest again. His ribs were still sore.


    No, he didn''t have the leisure available to worry about this world''s magic or technology or whatever it might be. He had more pressing concerns.


    ?¡­and so I said, ''To hell with this,'' and left for good. I''d heard about the folks at Henka before, and figured if everyone I knew swore it was such a terrible place it had to be a better fit for me than any of the nearby clans¡ªnot that they''d let a neko stay in the first place.?Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    Xavier was pretty sure Yukio was saying something about cats, but he might have misheard that bit. ?Cat? Um. Is cat??


    ?Right, cat, yes!? said Yukio with great enthusiasm. ?See, I told you he understood me! Pay up, Shibou-san!?


    ?Bullshit,? said the goat man who had been walking near them. ?He can''t even string two words together.?


    Xavier was feeling a very urgent need to learn Japanese, but Yukio''s out-of-context ramblings were helping precisely not at all.


    He tuned out the developing cat-fight¡ªor maybe goat-fight?¡ªthat was developing between the goat man and Yukio, and went back to observing the group he had fallen in with. Unlike the previous day, when many of the group were extremely animalistic, most of them were very human-looking today. The bird girl still had talons for feet, but he was pretty sure that she had fewer feathers than the day before, and her face looked softer and rounder somehow. The wolf people¡ªhe was fairly certain they were wolves, just based on their utter lack of friendly dog behavior¡ªwere almost the same as before, except maybe less hairy?


    The biggest difference was the bear man, who yesterday had looked basically like a bear wearing clothing but today was just a very shaggy older guy with weirdly-cute rounded bear ears peeking out of the hair near the upper sides of his head. Maybe they were all shape-shifters to some extent? Xavier really wished he could ask¡ª


    ?¡­no, I''m telling you, the pits north of Tenshin are the only way to go! Sure you''re over near Sunda, but even if they treat you like crap out of the ring I hear they''ll shower you with krona if you make a good showing inside¡­?


    ¡ªbut Yukio was babbling on about who-knew-what to the increasingly-annoyed looking goat person and Xavier had no clue how to communicate what he wanted to anyway. Regardless if they were some sort of were-person or what, though, they were all clearly fighters. Or hunters? He wasn''t quite sure what their function was. They''d been fighting that monster spider-thing so seriously, but once it was dead they just left it to rot. The fact that they appeared only equipped to travel or fight and had to travel for several hours to reach their camp the previous evening indicated they''d probably gone looking for the monster rather than getting ambushed or something in transit. Maybe they were adventurers or mercenaries of some sort? That would certainly fit with the isekai theme, although outside of worlds that were clearly ripping off role playing games, Xavier wasn''t sure if "adventurer" as an occupation was something that was sustainable in reality.


    As the day wore on, Xavier''s questions only multiplied, but the endless walking once again eventually forced him into a barely-conscious fugue state and the next thing he knew the animal people were laboriously filling their water skins from a trickle of water that was running down a rock-face and soaking into the ground in a small enclosed grotto.


    Although Xavier hoped they would simply camp near the water source, the group ended up walking for a good hour more after filling up their water supplies and resting a bit.


    At last, when Xavier was starting to stumble with exhaustion and the goat man was eyeing him with annoyance, the group finally stopped and made camp. Once more Xavier barely managed to swallow his small portion of trail rations and fall into a blanket provided by the goat man before he was asleep.


    <hr>


    The next day followed the exact same routine, and as the sun was setting and Xavier was beginning to wonder if he was cursed to wander the desert with this odd group of animal people forever, they arrived at a village.


    ?At last!? exclaimed Yukio as they drew near the outer buildings, and Xavier looked groggily up. The endless walking had finally shut even the irrepressible Yukio up the latter half of the day. ?We''ve made it back! Welcome to Henka, Zabi-kun!?

 Styx: 005

    Styx: 005


    The village was a large collection of rectangular buildings made out of what appeared to be adobe bricks, arranged in a rough circle. Xavier''s first sight of the outermost buildings gave him the impression that the buildings were arranged without any rhyme or reason since they were all composed of perfect ninety-degree angles individually but at completely odd angles compared to one another. The approach the group of animal people took brought them past several buildings with wrecked walls and shattered ceilings. Xavier glanced curiously inside as they passed, but aside from rubble the buildings were completely empty.


    As they wended their way toward the village center, curious animal people of all different species began to emerge, and a gaggle of children tagged along and generally got underfoot, shouting excited questions at the group that Xavier couldn''t interpret.


    A set of three young wolf people¡ªor dog people? He still wasn''t clear on that¡ªwere the first to notice Xavier. He''d been walking wrapped in his now-thoroughly dirty bedsheets, but had let them drop away from his head in order to look around.


    ?Neko-kun, what''s that? Did you capture a human?!? shouted the most boisterous of the three, and although he was still far from fluent that was one word that Xavier had definitely learned to pick out.


    ?Yes. I am human,? he responded.


    The three wolf cubs shrieked and scattered, sending Yukio into a fit of laughter when they immediately circled around the goat people and began stalking Xavier from the side.


    ?Zabi-kun, you''re the first human they''ve seen in their whole lives,? said Yukio. ?Give them a smile and a wave, why don''t you??


    At this point, Xavier had finally landed on the proper way to deal with Yukio. Smile and agree. ?Yes. I am human.?


    That cracked up Yukio for a second time, so evidently he hadn''t picked up on what was going on as well as he''d thought.


    The group arrived at a large open space in the center of the town after several minutes of walking, at this point trailing quite the entourage of diverse animal people. When they arrived, the group gradually began to spread apart as individuals socialized with the townsfolk, although Yukio kept close to Xavier. Since he was only catching about one word in a hundred, Xavier used the time to study the town he''d ended up in.


    At the center of the open space in which the animal people had congregated was a large wheel whose teeth were engaged with a chain that looped over its top and down into the ground. Attached to the chain were a series of what appeared to be buckets, and Xavier assumed the contraption was some form of well. There was a trough wrapping around from one side of the well, but the other was an open area dominated by a vertical post.


    Beyond the well was the largest building Xavier had seen in the town yet; it stretched across a good portion of one side of the open space, which resulted in its overall shape being like a rounded bowl laid on its side: flat on the top and round elsewhere. The rest of the buildings around the square seemed to be private dwellings, based purely on the number of individuals and families emerging from them.


    The townsfolk were even more diverse than the group that had rescued Xavier. He spotted a sizable number of wolf or dog people, but there were also numerous types of birds, a scattering of lizard people with scales visible on their faces, more goat people including a sizable pack of children cavorting around without apparent supervision, a wide array of people with various mammalian features Xavier couldn''t place, and even one individual with chitinous skin and a scattering of shiny globules across their forehead that Xavier was fairly certain were eyes.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    ?Zabi-kun, Zabi-kun!? said Yukio, pulling Xavier''s focus away from the crowd. ?The elder says you can stay in the wayhouse. C''mere, let me introduce you to Sumiko-san. Uh¡­Zabi-kun. Come with. Over there.?


    Oh! Yukio wanted him to go somewhere. Man, that might have been the first time he actually understood the irrepressible cat boy. He dutifully followed Yukio through the crowd to a girl with rounded animal ears and what was clearly a raccoon mask across her eyes. Wait, what was the Japanese animal that manga were always translating as "raccoon" or "raccoon dog"? Tanuki, wasn''t it?


    Yukio pointed to the girl. ?This is Sumiko. Zabi-kun, Sumiko.?


    ?Hello, it is nice to meet you. My name is Xavier.?


    ?Pleased to meet you,? said the girl in a quiet voice. ?Ekusu¡­Ettsu¡­?


    Yukio let out one of his strange coughing laughs. ?Don''t hurt yourself, Sumiko-san. I just call him Zabi-kun. He barely understands anything, anyway. He''s a human we found just outside the Deadlands, of all places. Well, really he found us; stumbled right into the middle of our showdown with that youkai!?


    ?Is it alright if I call you Zabi-kun?? asked the girl, with a small smile toward Yukio.


    ?Uh,? said Xavier. He wasn''t quite sure what she''d asked him. Something about speaking? Ah, maybe she was asking what to call him. ?Yes, yes, Zabi-kun. Uh, Sumiko-san?? Ugh, why could he never remember how the damn hierarchies worked in Japanese? Hopefully "san" was polite enough; it was weird how no one had used a surname with him so far. He''d thought referring to people by their surname was the Japanese thing. ?Is¡­uh¡­tanuki??


    Yukio sounded like he was coughing up a hair ball he was laughing so hard. Evidently Xavier messed that one up somehow.


    Sumiko looked embarrassed. ?I''m a raccoon bakuhito, Zabi-kun.?


    ?Geez, dude, you just met her and the first thing you do is call her a tanuki? What''s next, gonna ask Rokuro if he''s a dog? Oh, I would pay to see the look on his face!?


    ?Don''t listen to Yukio-kun,? said Sumiko, whacking the cat boy upside the head in a lightning-fast move that made Xavier jump. She turned her attention to Yukio. ?I take it Zabi-kun is staying at the wayhouse??


    ?Yep! We''ve got ourselves a human. Would you get him settled? I have to go debrief with the elders, and Zabi-kun is dead on his feet. Oh! And if you touch him, he''ll probably siphon Vigor. It feels a little funny, but it''s totally harmless. He can''t seem to get ahold of anything beyond reserves, and best we can tell it''s involuntary.?


    ?Siphons¡­?? Sumiko shook herself. ?I''ll ask in the morning; Hisao-san is looking for you.?


    ?Ah, you''re right! Alright, Zabi-kun, go with Sumiko-san for now, ''kay? I''ll see you in the morning! No, you need to stay. Stay! Uh, with Sumiko-san!?


    Xavier watched Yukio scamper off through the crowd and tried not to dissolve into panic. The cat boy was almost entirely unintelligible, but he was one of the few familiar faces Xavier had in this world. A touch on his arm brought his attention back to Sumiko, who removed her hand and flexed her fingers.


    ?Yukio-kun wasn''t kidding. How strange. Zabi-kun, please come with me. Mm, food, sleep. Come.?


    On the other hand, Sumiko seemed nice, and Xavier caught just enough of that to understand that she was offering somewhere to sleep and something to eat. With a final backwards glance after the cat boy who had already slipped out of sight through the crowd, Xavier followed Sumiko across the open space and back into the warren of buildings.


    <hr>


    After a walk that was just long enough to leave the sounds of the crowd behind, Sumiko led Xavier to a building that was larger than most of the other dwellings.


    ?Welcome to the Isei Wayhouse. After you.?


    Xavier entered to discover a moderately-sized entry room with three hallways branching off from the far end. As Sumiko led him down the rightmost hallway, she pointed to parts of the house and quietly named them.


    ?Common room. North wing. Cactus, or plant.?


    Xavier liked her better than Yukio already. He remembered the grammar for Japanese, but was severely lacking in both vocabulary and any exposure to forms of address that weren''t ultra-polite. Sumiko''s running quiet commentary on their surroundings was far more useful than Yukio''s endless nattering.


    Plus she fed him the first real meal he''d had since arriving in this world. When she got out actual bread, Xavier almost cried.

 Styx: 006

    Styx: 006


    Hours later, Xavier awoke in what felt like freezing cold. After feeding him dinner, Sumiko had shown him the way to a primitive toilet in one corner of the building; introduced him to several animal people who were evidently staying in the building, as well, and whose names and faces Xavier barely found himself able to focus on; showed him where she would evidently be sleeping; and then directed him to a small room with¡ªwonder of wonders¡ªan actual bed.


    Unfortunately, the bed was almost the only thing in the room. The place was almost pitch black, but when Xavier stumbled to the hide hanging across the doorway and pushed it aside he discovered the hallway was gently illuminated by glowing something or others in sconces. Leaving the door hanging shoved aside, he investigated the contents of the room more thoroughly. Aside from the bed, there was a basket filled with porous rocks, a second basket filled with nothing at all, and no extra bed clothes under the bed that he could make out. He wasn''t quite willing to stick his arm underneath and feel around; although he hadn''t even thought about it while traveling thanks to the hellish pace the animal people had set, he had a vague recollection that scorpions tended to live in deserts and late at night with the black gap between the bed and the floor leering at him he had no inclination to discover if some might be sequestered under there.


    Perhaps he was supposed to make a fire by striking the rocks together? Though come to think of it, he hadn''t noticed any smoke holes, chimneys, or fireplaces in his entire tour of the building. How on earth had someone baked that bread?


    Feeling a bit desperate, Xavier went to the sconce in the hallway and carefully held his hand up to it; unfortunately, whatever was in there wasn''t burning and gave off no heat he could perceive. Strangely, the longer he held his hand near the sconce, the dimmer the light became. When he noticed he quickly pulled his hand away. He felt no warmer, but he was shivering slightly less. Weird.


    Looked like he didn''t have choice: he was going to have to try and wake Sumiko.


    Fortunately, her room was the first one before the foyer where the three hallways split off into various parts of the building, so it was easy to find. Xavier knocked softly on the door frame. ?S-Sumiko-san?? Ugh, how was it so obscenely cold? While he had admittedly been dead tired, he didn''t recall getting this cold when he was sleeping outside.


    He rapped his fingers more smartly against the door frame. Since it was adobe, it didn''t make very much noise. ?Sumiko-san!? he called in a louder voice. ?Help me, please!?


    At last, he heard movement in her room, and soon Sumiko herself whisked aside the hide hanging across her doorway. ?Zabi-kun? What is it??


    Damn it, he couldn''t remember the word. "I''m freezing. Is there a fire or something somewhere?"


    She just cocked her head.


    ?Uh, hot. No. I am¡­not heat??


    ?Oh, you''re cold??


    "Yes! I mean¡ª" At this rate not knowing the language really was going to kill him. ?Yes! Cold! Where?? He had a feeling that wasn''t right.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ?Are you out of stones? Right, you don''t understand me. You have stones? Stones??


    ?I don''t understand.? He was good at that phrase, at least. When it came to lines he''d had plenty of practice with, that was right up there with commenting on how nice the weather was.


    Sumiko ducked into her room and came out with another one of the porous rocks. ?This is a stone. A Stone.?


    ?Stone.? And now he was dutifully repeating words back to her. Hello, Kindergarten, it''s been a while! "How is a rock supposed to help me?" Xavier pantomimed confusion as best he could.


    Sumiko looked perplexed, but clenched the rock in one fist, touched his blanket with her other hand, and Xavier startled as his blanket warmed up. "What the hell did you just do?" Damn it. ?I don''t understand.?


    ?You don''t know how to call heat?? Sumiko was evidently flabbergasted over something. If only he could figure out what. ?Here, take the stone, and call its Vigor as heat.? She placed the rock she''d been holding in his hand and closed his fingers around it. ?Go ahead.?


    It looked like Sumiko expected him to replicate her blanket-warming trick. Maybe this wasn''t actually a rock, but was some sort of tool that just happened to look like a rock? Or maybe it was magic? The rock felt warmer than it should have been just from Sumiko''s body heat, and while it might have been a trick of the light Xavier could have sworn that it was a little smaller than it had been when she''d first brought it out of her room. Maybe he just needed to grip it?


    Xavier compressed the rock in his hand. Or tried to, in any case. But it was just a rock. He tried to adjust his hand''s position to match what he remembered of Sumiko''s. He handed her the blanket, switched the rock to the same hand she''d used, and touched the blanket while gripping the rock.


    If she was expecting him to suddenly awaken an unknown talent for pulling heat out of rocks, Sumiko was evidently in for disappointment.


    ?You really don''t know how to call heat,? she said, and rubbed her hand across her forehead. ?How did you even survive until now? And wait, why is this blanket so cold already??


    Sumiko eyed him with a perplexed look. ?Maybe it has to do with his compulsive siphoning?? she muttered. ?I wonder¡­?


    Xavier shrugged in helpless frustration.


    ?Wait here. Wait. You understand??


    ?Yes.?


    Sumiko ducked back into her room, and emerged a moment later with her own blanket. ?Hold this.? She traded Xavier his blanket back for the stone, and piled her own blanket on top, making sure he wasn''t directly touching it. With stone in hand, she gripped the rock once more, this time touching her own blanket.


    After a moment, Xavier could feel heat radiating through the blankets, although it was much less pronounced than when she had applied the magic or whatever it was directly to his blanket.


    Holding two blankets was starting to get awkwardly heavy, though, and he shifted his weight.


    Sumiko grabbed his shoulder. ?Wait.?


    The pair stood there for almost a minute, until Sumiko was evidently satisfied. ?Thank goodness, that worked. Looks like you only actively siphon if you''re touching the blanket directly. Let me just get you a spare¡ªoh, right. Zabi-kun. Go. Your room. Wait. Understand??


    ?Yes?? Sumiko took her blanket back from Xavier, and waved him back down the hall.


    He retreated to his bedroom, and was shivering despite being wrapped in his blanket when she followed him with an extra blanket in hand. After a brief bout of stilted pseudo-conversation and charades, Xavier found himself back in bed with one blanket pulled up to his chin and the other only coming up about to his chest.


    Sumiko spent several minutes going through rock after rock as she heated the entirety of the top blanket. It was fascinating. The rocks really did physically diminish until they basically fell apart into sand as she evidently converted them into heat. This had to be some form of magic. Xavier had wondered if maybe the rocks weren''t actually rocks, but nothing about them as they degraded in front of his eyes indicated they were anything more than what they looked like.


    Now if only he could learn to use magic¡­he had a feeling that would be a solid step toward returning to his home.


    In the blissfully warm weight of his newly comfortable bed, Xavier drifted off to dream of his family.

 Styx: 007

    Styx: 007


    Xavier wasn''t sure what he had expected the next day to bring, but it wasn''t to be awoken by an over-enthusiastic cat-boy. ?Rise and shine!? called Yukio as he burst into Xavier''s room and whipped off his blankets. ?Come on, Zabi-kun, we''ve got to get you ready to see the elders. The day''s wasting!?


    Curse introductory Japanese! Xavier had never wished so fervently that he knew how to swear in another language.


    Yukio proceeded to drag him to a common room in the wayhouse where they ate a simple breakfast and then forced him out of the wayhouse and between the buildings, talking his ear off the whole way.


    Eventually, they reached a large, low building without windows. ?Where??


    ?The bath-house, the bath-house! You are way too filthy to make a good impression, Zabi-kun.? Yukio barged through the entry, Xavier in tow.


    Inside was an old goat lady seated beside a pair of large baskets, evidently folding towels. ?A neko, eh? Never thought I''d see your kind here.?


    ?Oh, I''m not bathing, thank you grandmother!? said Yukio with great cheer. ?No, I''ve got an even more rarified guest for you today.? He shoved Xavier front and center, and the old lady''s eyes widened.


    ?A human? What is a human doing in Henka??


    ?I would love to tell you about it, grandmother! But first¡ªZabi-kun. Go there. Wash.? Yukio mimed licking his own arm. ?Go on. Shoo, shoo!?


    Xavier went. Though he wasn''t planning on licking himself, thank you very much. Did cat people actually bathe themselves that way?


    Inside was a large tile-lined bath of water that was gently steaming in the cool temperature of the morning. Xavier was alone, although he could hear the old woman and Yukio chatting it up in the adjoining room. He''d never been inside a Japanese communal bathhouse, but evidently this was to be his maiden voyage. He vaguely recalled that Japanese tended to bathe in the evenings, which perhaps explained the lack of other patrons. Though did that even apply here? Sure they spoke Japanese, but isekai worlds were often more grounded in weird interpretations of medieval Europe. Plus, weren''t they in the middle of a desert? Where did they get this much water? And how was it heated?


    Xavier was eager to explore the bath house to try and see if he could find any answers to his questions, but the gently steaming bath water was reminding him far too clearly of the fact that mornings here in this desert were incredibly cold, and that he was absolutely filthy.


    With a single glance at the benches where he was pretty sure he was supposed to wash himself before getting in the bath proper, he sloughed off his pajamas and waded straight in. Forget bowing to cross-cultural norms; he was suddenly afflicted with the burning desire to be clean.


    For a while Xavier just sat and relaxed in the water, though after a bit the sheer amount of dirt that was detaching from him and floating into the bath encouraged him to get out and do a quick scrub and rinse with the soap at one of the nearby benches. That task complete, he hurried back into the bath and sat up against the warm tile along the edge.


    Xavier sighed deeply, actually feeling halfway relaxed. The tension in his overstressed muscles slowly released in the heated water, and for the first time since waking up three days ago he had a chance to take a moment and think without a pressing threat to his survival stealing his focus and energy.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Any way he looked at it, this situation was dire. He was stranded alone in a strange world in one of the most hostile environments he''d ever experienced, and he had the sinking feeling that he wasn''t an over-powered protagonist. That was a huge shame; while the OP protagonist route was one that was invariably littered with violence, harems, and other pitfalls, the everyman protagonist trope was one in which his choices would be far more constrained. OP protagonists typically had some level of choice if they were going to get into dangerous situations; if he''d been granted some crazy powerful artifact or skill, then he would have some leverage to push the plot in directions that were helpful for him. Since all he had going for him were two semesters of high school Japanese, a set of pajamas that was about to fall apart, and his wits he was going to have a much harder time influencing the plot in helpful directions.


    Although, come to think¡ªmaybe he did have some sort of magical ability? Xavier lifted his hand out of the water and stared at it, remembering the sensation of a bird woman''s talons scraping across his palm as they retracted. Sumiko-san had been obviously perplexed last night when the heat faded from the blanket he was holding so quickly. Maybe he had a cheat ability that he just hadn''t explored yet? Like some sort of innate ability to counter this world''s magic? At the very least, he appeared to be able to make animal people he touched become more human-like. That could actually be pretty over-powered on its own, depending on how it worked and whether he could improve on it with practice. He would definitely need to explore that possibility, as well as figure out if he would be able to do magic. He had a strong feeling that if he was going to make it back home, he was going to need some very high-level magic along the way.


    Hm, how else did isekai protagonists tend to get ahead? They often had crazy good support networks that allowed them to grow and improve their abilities despite dangerous circumstances. Xavier wasn''t sure if the animal people counted there; a lot of them seemed very leery of him. He absolutely needed to establish a place in this community somehow; that was arguably even more important than learning the language properly and getting magic figured out.


    Unfortunately, he was drawing a complete blank on what he could contribute. From what he''d seen so far, the animal people were far more physically fit than he was, so the low-hanging fruit of physical labor was unlikely. He didn''t have any particular skills in cooking or other domestic pursuits. He had never been very interested in engineering and knew next to nothing about deserts, so he was pessimistic that he would be able to come up with any ideas that would substantively improve their lives. He could attempt the dangerous game of trying to predict future events using his knowledge of genre tropes¡ªexcept he could barely communicate his most basic needs.


    Well, that could wait, he supposed. The nice thing about being a manga protagonist was that if he didn''t take any specific action, something would inevitably find him instead. He''d just have to hope it wasn''t anything too dangerous. That monster he''d run into in the desert had been horrific. If his weird ability to cancel magic or whatever turned out to be key to defeating that sort of threat¡ªhe wasn''t sure what he''d do then, actually. Cross that bridge when he came to it, he supposed, and possibly keep running until he found a saner scenario.


    If only his dad and mom were here; he was sure they¡ª


    Xavier''s thoughts jolted to a complete stop as he unexpectedly fell over an emotional cliff. Mom. Dad. Vickie. Hayden. Rachel. Everyone he knew and loved, and everything he truly understood was absolutely beyond his reach. For the first time in his entire life, he was completely alone.


    He didn''t try to fight the wave of emotion that hit him then. In the midst of this giant, empty pool of water, he could definitely spare the moisture.


    <hr>


    Silent as the caracal that was an ancient part of his heritage, Yukio slipped down the aisle between the stools and retrieved the filthy outfit the human had been wearing day and night since he''d stumbled into their battle with the youkai, leaving a clean set of clothes behind. He briefly paused to consider trying to comfort the human, but he still wasn''t sure whether it was worth the effort to establish that level of rapport. Better to leave him for now. He was already admirably serving Yukio''s short-term interests, and if he led to opportunities in the future¡­well, Yukio certainly wouldn''t want someone to see him that vulnerable. Perhaps leaving the human alone for now was the right move in either case. His birth family certainly wouldn''t have been able to resist the sort of emotional vulnerability the human was displaying at the moment, which was a solid argument in favor of quietly leaving the way he had come.


    Plus he hated getting wet.


    With a shake to settle his fur, Yukio quietly headed back outside, leaving Xavier to his loneliness and grief.

 Styx: 008

    Styx: 008


    After he calmed down, Xavier climbed out of the bath and discovered that his pajamas had been replaced with a towel and clean set of clothes similar to those he had seen Yukio wearing. He had some conflicted feelings about that; on the one hand, clean clothes sounded like pure heaven, and his pajamas had honestly been starting to fall apart in places after only three days of trekking through the desert. On the other, he hadn''t noticed anyone enter at all, and it was both creepy and embarrassing to think that someone might have seen him crying alone in the bath.


    Nothing he could do about it now, though, so Xavier struggled into the unfamiliar clothes as best he could and exited to find the old goat woman now with a much higher stack of folded towels and a much lower stack of unfolded ones. She grunted at him, and pointed toward the outside door, so Xavier bowed, said ?Thank you very much,? and exited the building.


    Yukio was crouched with his back up against the building across the way, playing some sort of game with rocks in the dirt. When Xavier came out, he tossed the rocks he''d been holding down, and stood.


    ?Ah, Zabi-kun, you''re looking much better!? Yukio strode up to Xavier and before Xavier could protest began peremptorily adjusting his clothing. ?You''re definitely not used to our clothing, though, huh??


    ?Thank you very much.? Xavier wasn''t a huge fan of having a cat boy re-dress him in the middle of the street or alley or whatever you would classify these walkways between buildings, but he was intensely grateful to be clean.


    ?Feels good to be clean, yeah? Alright, this way. Come, Zabi-kun.?


    Xavier followed along after the agile cat boy. ?Where?? Ugh, he wanted to speak in something other than one word sentence fragments so badly.


    Yukio appeared to understand what he was asking, at least. ?The elders want to see you and figure out what to do with a human who has wandered into a bakuhito settlement. You''ve caused quite the uproar!?


    Not that getting an answer from the fast-talking Yukio did Xavier any good. Still, he followed along with good will. Of all the animal people he had encountered so far, Yukio had made it clear through his actions and attention that he cared about Xavier''s well-being. Even if Xavier had no idea why. Maybe cat people were just generally friendly by nature? He supposed some house cats he''d known were sort of like that.


    <hr>


    Yukio led him to the large building he had noticed dominating one side of the central town square. Xavier was surprised to find the inside appeared to be entirely one big open room that was built down into the floor with descending ledges, some of which were lined with benches, others of which were empty. The very bottom level was spacious enough to accommodate a large number of chairs arranged in a semi-circle, most of which were filled with old animal people. Yukio led Xavier down to the bottom level, hopping carelessly from one ledge to the next while Xavier let himself down more carefully. At the bottom, he urged Xavier to sit on the frontmost of a series of three benches that were placed in front of the semi-circle of elders, and then plopped down next to him with an air of utter unconcern.


    Xavier looked nervously around. Aside from the old animal people, there was a scattering of other animal people occupying various benches, and with the exception of one hodge-podge section directly behind him nearest the doors they were roughly segregated by type of animal, with wolves to his left, lizard-people directly across from him, and goats to his right.


    ?So this is the human we''ve been hearing so much about,? said an old wolf-person seated in the very front row. ?What are we going to do with you, boy? How did you end up in Henka??


    ?He doesn''t speak very much of the language,? cut in Yukio.


    The old wolf gave the cat-boy a withering glare before turning his attention back to Xavier. ?That true, human? You don''t speak our language? Well? You understand??


    Ah, he caught that last bit. ?I don''t understand.?


    ?Hmph. That certainly makes this more difficult. You''ve been with the human almost constantly since he was discovered, have you not, Yukio-kun? You tell the story.?The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    While Yukio talked, Xavier looked around the room he was in. This was obviously the political body for this town; though he had no idea how they were chosen, it was pretty clear that the decision makers were these elders and that they were discussing what to do with him. It was incredibly frustrating that he couldn''t advocate for himself, although from Yukio''s passionate speaking he guessed he had a decent advocate already.


    Even so, he was nervous. If the elders threw him out, he literally had nowhere else to go, and he didn''t relish getting stranded in the desert a second time. He knew from a practical standpoint that he''d likely survive¡ªhe hadn''t noticed any flags getting triggered yet that indicated a bad isekai path¡ªbut trusting in the genre was not exactly his strong point.


    Come to think, what was the most likely genre-appropriate event at this point? If he were an over-powered character, his plot armor would have protected him from this annoying language barrier and he likely would have saved the lives of multiple people already, leaving them all gratefully in his debt. As a "normal boy caught in the fantastic" he was likely expected to rely on the good friends he''d formed thanks to manga coincidences¡ªwhich he supposed was actually what was happening. Huh. Strange to think the genre likely considered Yukio his bosom buddy already, even though he barely knew anything about him at all.


    Yukio appeared to finally be winding down, and some of the elders in the back started talking amongst themselves. Xavier tugged lightly at Yukio''s sleeve. ?Yukio-san. Is good??


    ?We''ll just have to wait and see, Zabi-kun,? said Yukio cheerfully. ?Wait.?


    ?Yes.?


    An old wolf woman was speaking. ?What are we supposed to do with a human we can''t even speak to? He''s a waste of water. And appearing out of the Deadlands? That''s highly suspicious. Have we verified that he''s not a youkai? Some sort of shape-changer, perhaps??


    ?That seems unlikely,? croaked a stooped lizard man. ?He''s been in direct contact with several of our most powerful Vigor channelers and hasn''t made a single aggressive move. The neko claims he even helped against the true youkai.?


    ?Cat tales,? growled one of the wolves, prompting glares from several of the other elders and nods or grunts of affirmation from others.


    ?Yukio-kun''s behavior has been above reproach, and he is not the subject of this meeting,? said a large, white-furred goat man. ?I am more interested in this ''siphoning'' business. Are there any objections to me testing the human??


    There were sounds of assent and nods throughout the company. The goat man stood up and paused briefly with his eyes closed. For some reason, Xavier''s focus was immediately pulled to the old goat, and he was surprised to see the muscles on the man''s right arm ripple and expand.


    There were murmurs throughout the audience. Apparently this was something unusual.


    Once the goat man''s arm stopped buffing itself up, he approached Xavier and held out his right hand.


    ?Take his hand, Zabi-kun. Hand,? said Yukio. As if Xavier couldn''t have figured that out from context.


    Feeling nervous and hoping this unexpectedly ripped old goat person didn''t decide to hit him like the bird girl, Xavier reached out and gingerly touched the man''s hand. At first nothing changed, but then the muscles of the man''s arm rippled once again and began to gradually collapse in on themselves. It was the strangest sensation, and Xavier couldn''t place it. His hand on the old man''s felt warm? Except he wasn''t actually feeling any heat. It was something else, some indefinable sense that he''d never experienced before. Well, he supposed he had in retrospect experienced it before, but this was the most extended time someone in this world had touched him; most of them seemed to be curious, but unwilling to come into prolonged contact. After a short period of time¡ªbut longer than it had taken to bulk up¡ªthe man''s arm was back to normal.


    ?Fascinating,? grunted the goat man, and when Xavier went to withdraw his hand, the old man grabbed it. ?Wait just a moment.? Xavier dutifully waited, but nothing else seemed to happen, and the indescribable sensation he had been feeling had ebbed away into nothing. At last the goat man let go of his hand, bowed slightly to him, and walked back to the other elders.


    ?Yukio-kun told the truth of it,? he said shortly, and sat down.


    That seemed to stump the other elders for a moment, before the cantankerous wolf woman spoke up again. ?So the cat boy wants us to take in a suspect human who siphons the Vigor of anyone he touches, and this serves the interests of Henka in what way exactly??


    ?That ability would certainly be useful against youkai,? remarked one of the lizard people quietly.


    ?Ah, yes, the types of youkai who by the neko''s own admission the human hid from like a craven. It was only by chance he helped the extermination instead of hindering it!?


    That caused a mild uproar, but the elder''s voices died down when the old goat man''s gruff voice rang out. ?What of the Antean??


    ?What of her?? snapped the wolf woman. ?Two outsiders aren''t better than one, and so far she too has been nothing but a drain on our resources!?


    ?But perhaps this human might be able to help the Antean, at least in the short term. Her pain could well be alleviated by his siphoning, which would give us a chance to find a more long-term cure. And with the Society in our debt¡­?


    That caused the whole mood in the room to shift, and the elders broke down in chatter amongst themselves.


    ?The Antean¡­? mused Yukio to himself.


    Xavier tugged on his sleeve once again. ?What is Antean??


    Yukio gave him a considering look, and then with a sparkle in his eyes spread his arms wide. ?The Antean is BIG!?

 Styx: 009

    Styx: 009


    After an interminable amount of debate, during which Xavier grew thoroughly bored and hungry, the elders evidently decided to allow him to stay. Or maybe made him a part of their tribe. He wasn''t entirely clear.


    More than anything, he was just glad to get off that damn bench. He''d noticed that a large quantity of the elders had blankets or pillows to sit on; as the discussion wended longer and longer he''d even spotted a few who had eschewed chairs entirely in favor of nests of pillows on the ground. Meanwhile he had bare wood and the dubious benefit of a bored cat boy to share it with.


    After making some pronouncement to Yukio, who bowed low in response, the elders at last filed out of the building through an exit Xavier hadn''t noticed before in the back while the rest of the crowd dispersed through the front doors. Yukio held Xavier back until most of the people were gone before finally leading him out into another blistering day. The transition from the below-ground-level amphitheater surrounded by adobe walls and the outdoors was astonishing.


    ?Well, glad that''s over!? said Yukio cheerfully, as Xavier paused and shaded his eyes in the glare. ?Come on, lets get back to the wayhouse and have a bite of lunch and maybe a nap before we track down the Antean. There''s not much point in trying to get anything done in the middle of the day, really. Waste of water and good sunshine.?


    Ah, now that was a good idea! ?May I please have some water??


    Yukio coughed a bit of his weird laughter. ?Course you can, Zabi-kun! Weren''t we just sitting for a couple hours hearing those old farts debate that very thing??


    Back at the wayhouse there was indeed food available in the common living space, and when Yukio led Xavier to an inner courtyard that was open to the sky, Xavier was surprised to find himself following the cat boy''s example and napping lightly in the shade for the better part of an hour. Absent the life and death struggle to make it through the desert on foot, he was realizing just how much the heat took it out of him.


    <hr>


    A leisurely afternoon accomplished, the pair set out from the wayhouse in the late afternoon. Yukio brought Xavier across the town along a necessarily zig-zag path, occasionally stopping to ask questions of nearby animal people. At last, they entered one of the few passageways that remained straight for any length of time, and at the end of it Xavier spotted a much smaller cleared space than the town center with what appeared to be another well¡ªthis one more what he expected a well to look like with a bucket on a rope sitting near a covered hole. Near the well was a small tree with a woman leaning up against the trunk in the shade.


    As they got closer, though, Xavier realized that the tree wasn''t actually small. The woman was just that big.


    She was sitting with her back up against the trunk and her left side closest to Xavier and Yukio as they emerged near the well.


    Yukio bounded right up to her while Xavier hung back in the shade of the nearby buildings. ?Hello, I''m Yukio! I''ve been wanting to meet you for a while. Hey Zabi-kun, come over here! It''s the Antean! This is Zabi-kun; he''s a human, can you imagine??Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ?I heard you would be coming this afternoon,? rumbled the Antean, opening her eyes and looking their way.


    Xavier approached slowly when Yukio gestured him over, and as he did the woman stood up. Xavier stopped dead with a gasped, "She''s huge!" If anything, "huge" was an understatement.


    The Antean had to be at least eight feet tall, and was broad enough that Xavier would have had no chance of wrapping his arms completely around her. She had deep, chocolate brown skin and tightly braided hair that hung down past her shoulders. Her left arm was completely bare and corded with muscle, but in a disturbingly bizarre contrast her right arm and shoulder appeared to be about the same size as a normal human woman''s. It gave her a strange, lopsided appearance: bulky on one side, sloping slightly down to scrawny looking on the other. Was it a birth defect? She had her right arm cradled up against her chest somewhat, so maybe she didn''t have full use of it.


    The giant loomed over him. ?So this is the human folks have been talking about. I don''t think I''ve heard this many rumors fly since I came to Henka myself.?


    Xavier gaped. He was getting a crick in his neck just trying to peer up at her face.


    ?My name is Kahina. It is very nice to meet you. Zabi-san, was it?? The giant bent over and extended her right hand as fluidly as Xavier had ever seen someone move. Evidently she had use of it after all.


    Xavier reflexively grasped it in his own right hand, surprised to have someone in a Japanese-speaking culture offer a handshake. ?Hello, it is nice to meet you. My name is Xavier.? The giant''s hand felt completely normal, though as he spoke the unidentifiable feeling that he was coming to associate with physical contact from everyone in this world quickly built into a rush of warmth, comfort, a satisfying meal, and the satisfaction of reading a familiar book.


    Kahina gasped and practically fell forward, her massive left hand clamping down on Xavier''s right shoulder and causing his knees to buckle under the sudden extreme weight. With a cry, Xavier ripped his hand away and stumbled back a few steps, barely keeping himself from falling, and throwing the woman''s balance so badly off that she went to one knee.


    He didn''t see when it happened, but Yukio leapt into the woman''s personal space from the side. ?Kahina-san, what do you think you''re doing?! Zabi-kun, are you alright??


    ?I''m alright,? Xavier managed.


    ?I''m so sorry.? Kahina''s voice was almost breathy instead of the low growl she''d had previously. ?That just took me off guard. Sadao-sama had mentioned he thought the human¡ªexcuse me, Zabi-san¡ªmight be able to help me, but I didn''t expect him to do it so suddenly. Thank you, Zabi-san.? The Antean shifted from kneeling into a full kneeling bow, hands in front of her on the ground and head lowerd. ?I am deeply sorry I grabbed you. Please, please help me.?


    ?Help?? said Xavier. He understood that the giant¡ªKahina¡ªwas sorry about something, and was thanking him, but he wasn''t sure what it was she wanted help with. It was also surprisingly awkward feeling to have someone bowing like that to him.


    The woman shifted into sitting cross-legged directly on the sand. Seated on the ground, her head came up almost to mid-chest on Xavier. She held out her normal-sized arm in the same position she had when she first approached. Did she want to shake hands again?


    ?Please,? she said, deep longing bleeding through her voice.


    Xavier stepped forward, and tentatively took her hand again. Once more there was that rush of¡ªwhatever-it-was. Kahina sighed deeply for longer than Xavier would have thought possible, and bent her forehead in something like a bow, resting it lightly on their clasped hands.


    ?Thank you,? she said, and in those seemingly simple words Xavier heard a depth of emotion unlike any he could recall coming across before.


    He wasn''t sure what he was doing, or why it was helping her, but for the first time since waking up surrounded by sand Xavier felt something deep in his chest unclench. As the indefinable sensation of something flowing into him built again, Xavier knew one thing for sure: this woman, this Antean, needed him badly.


    He hadn''t realized how much he wanted to be needed.

 Styx: 010

    Styx: 010


    Over the next few weeks, Xavier found his life falling into a routine. In the morning, he would seek out Sumiko and help her around the wayhouse while she patiently worked on expanding his vocabulary. She appeared to be in some position of authority over the house, although he was having difficulty determining whether she owned it or was working for someone else or what. In any case, she kept the common rooms clean, and when someone moved in or out she was the one who facilitated it. There appeared to be a rotating schedule, because other residents would join them in cleaning on occasion, but Xavier was not sure how it was arranged, and since he didn''t have anything better to do he tried to make himself useful in hopes of continued food and board.


    Other than Sumiko, the vast majority of the residents of the wayhouse seemed to be non-permanent residents of the town. In Xavier''s admittedly short stay a group of animal people had spent most of one morning loading up wagons and carts out back behind the wayhouse before departing and leaving Sumiko and Xavier to clean their rooms.


    The other longer-term resident was an ornery old goat man who ruled the kitchen with an iron hoof. Curious over how they prepared the bread that was a regular staple at meals, Xavier had hunted out the kitchen only to be shooed away. He did catch sight of what appeared to be an oven, but once again there was no chimney or anywhere he could see for smoke to escape. It was very strange; perhaps it was heated with magical rocks, the way all of the rooms appeared to be?


    That was something that he was having a hard time coming to terms with. As far as he could tell, transforming a rock into heat was pure magic, but everybody seemed able to do it. One of the primary duties Sumiko had him performing was in fact refilling the baskets of rocks that were in every room. Xavier tried multiple times to discover the trick, but to no avail. Whenever he held a rock, it was just a rock. He still needed Sumiko''s help at night to prepare a warm blanket when the temperature started to plummet.


    After lunch, Xavier often ended up napping, as did most of the other residents of the town, far as he could tell.


    Mid-afternoon, Kahina would drop by the wayhouse, and while the activities that they undertook were quite varied what was always constant was that Kahina insisted that Xavier hold her normal-sized hand, or at the very least be in contact with her arm, at virtually all times.


    At this point, Xavier was fairly certain that whenever he came into contact with living beings he drained magic power off them. ?Vigor? was the word the animal people used¡ªor bakuhito, as they seemed to call themselves. His best guess was that something about Kahina''s gigantism resulted in excess vigor building up in her body, and Xavier''s draining effect gave her relief. Unfortunately, while he was getting a lot better at understanding what the people around him were saying, he was still having trouble forming coherent sentences, so he had so far been unable to ask for clarification.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    The main unpredictable element of his routine was Yukio. The cat-boy lived at the wayhouse and was obviously smitten with Sumiko, but after the first week when he would constantly drop in on Xavier and drag him off on one unintelligible adventure or another, he began going missing for days at a time. From what Xavier could gather, he was traveling around the area fighting youkai with the same group that had rescued Xavier. On one of the stints when he was in Henka he dragged Xavier off with him to a training session with the group. They were cordial, but evidently uninterested in Xavier, particularly when it became clear after one of the wolf people invited him to try their training exercises that he was badly outclassed physically.


    Someone who was interested in Xavier was the old goat man who had tested him when he was taken in front of the elders, whose name was evidently Sadao. Xavier encountered him at least once or twice a week, almost always when he was doing his activity of the day with Kahina.


    Xavier wasn''t sure what exactly it was that Sadao was looking for, but he often would encourage Kahina to try different exercises with Vigor while he poked and prodded Xavier in an evident attempt to figure out why exactly Xavier was unable to come into contact with bakuhito without draining some of their Vigor. Despite his comprehension growing by leaps and bounds, however, Xavier was still just as much in the dark about his weird ability as Sadao. It was frustrating, particularly since it evidently prevented him from interacting with Vigor the way apparently everyone else was able to.


    Aside from Sadao, Xavier hadn''t come into direct contact with any of the elders, but he was growing increasingly nervous about whether he would be able to maintain his place in the community. Kahina clearly needed him, but from what he could gather she was as much an outsider as he was and had come to Henka seeking some sort of fix to the chronic pain that she suffered in her right arm. Xavier was able to help her with that, but it seemed the citizens of Henka had been unhelpful overall.


    His nervousness over his place in the community was nothing, however, compared to the feeling that grew with every passing day that this routine couldn''t last. Ever since arriving and falling in with Yukio and his band of hunters Xavier hadn''t noticed any obvious manga coincidences, which didn''t jive with his understanding of isekai at all. Isekai tended to be fairly action-packed, with crises that scaled from immediate personal harm to national threats. Treating a giant''s chronic pain was decidedly small-time for isekai challenges and Xavier was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.


    Of course, it was also possible that he was just stuck in a narrative time skip; given his lack of the language when he arrived, that was a real possibility.


    <hr>


    Six weeks later, the howls of the wolf people heralded in the first of the changes that would propel Xavier out of Henka and into the broader world.

 Styx: 011

    Styx: 011


    His day started off normally enough. Yukio was out of town investigating a youkai sighting, so Xavier''s morning of helping Sumiko around the wayhouse was uninterrupted. After refilling yet more baskets full of rocks from the storage shed in the southwest corner of the building and dozing lightly through the early afternoon, Xavier set out alone through Henka to meet Kahina. While he was still apt to get lost in much of the town, he was comfortable finding his way to the town square and back as well as making his way to and from the oversized one-room building that Kahina was living in.


    Today they were heading over to the north edge of the town, where the townsfolk were working to rebuild some of the homes that were wrecked by a wandering youkai. From what he could gather, rather than build walls, the outermost homes in the town were simply unoccupied aside from a token contingent of warrior hopefuls who lived on the edges of town and performed the task of sentries. When a youkai inevitably smashed some of the houses up, they would be rebuilt a few weeks later.


    Kahina was often invited to help clear buildings, since with the help of someone who could easily reach the top of a wall it was a lot easier to shore up walls that were otherwise likely to collapse, or to move large chunks of adobe without needing to break them up first. Xavier had accompanied her on a couple similar excursions in the past; although he was even less use for shifting rubble than the bakuhito, he was able to help Kahina work longer and with less pain.


    As usual, Kahina was waiting near the well that Xavier had learned was only a few houses away from the building the elders had given her to live during her stay.


    ?Good morning, Zabi-san,? Kahina greeted Xavier in her basso rumble.


    ?Good morning, Kahina-san,? said Xavier, and without prompting approached her and grabbed her right hand. As usual, he felt a sudden indescribable rush of Vigor, and Kahina sighed deeply. ?Shall we go??


    No matter how many times he did it, walking hand-in-hand with Kahina was always a strange experience. She was so tall that her regular sized arm only hung down to around the level of his head, so Xavier always felt like a little kid walking with his parent; a feeling that was exacerbated by the fact that she took one stride to every two of his. He''d been desperately uncomfortable and embarrassed the first time she''d taken his hand and strode off, but despite making a doubtless comical duo, the bakuhito that they met were always universally friendly and respectful, often going so far as to make way for Kahina and bow to her as she went past.


    Xavier wasn''t entirely sure yet what was going on there. He''d tried to ask Yukio, but it had sent him off into a half hour rant about politics in the greater world¡ªas far as Xavier could tell, anyway. He only caught about one word in fifty. He''d also tried asking Sumiko, but was unable to get his point across; perhaps because she had never met and simply wasn''t much interested in Kahina. Or perhaps she just misunderstood what Xavier was asking, since she ended up telling him a story about Anteans. Evidently they were a famous race of giants living on the coast somewhere to the west.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Perhaps Kahina was a princess or something. Finding a princess in an unexpected place would certainly be standard manga fare.


    <hr>


    The two arrived at the edge of town to discover a medium-sized work party already assembled. The buildings had already been cleared of rubble, so Kahina and Xavier were put to work carting adobe bricks and mud for mortar from a shallow pit about five minutes'' walk further into Henka.


    The howling started on one of these trips when the two were partway back to the perimeter from fetching building materials. Xavier froze in place as the first sounds rose on the air. The howling was eerie; clearly lupine, but with a timbre that was ever-so-slightly off. Clearly these were sounds coming from bakuhito throats rather than actual wolves. The howls started from ahead, but quickly spread deeper into the town.


    ?What is that?? Xavier turned to Kahina, but found her stock still, face serious as she stared hard enough that he could almost believe she could see over the roofs of the houses, although he knew she wasn''t quite that tall.


    ?That alarm started near the construction site. Zabi-san, get to safety.? Without further explanation, Kahina lay the cross-bar of the wagon she''d been dragging down and sprinted toward where the rest of their team was working.


    Xavier hesitated for a split second, but then took off after Kahina. He''d never heard anything like this, even on days when he had later learned that a youkai had attacked the town. Odds were good he wouldn''t be any help, but trying to run the other way would just get him lost.


    Plus Kahina had said something about safety, and she was the safest person to be around he knew.


    The Antean swiftly outpaced him, and for almost a minute Xavier found himself running alone as the howling around him continued. Oddly, he didn''t pass any bakuhito but with his adrenaline surging he didn''t think anything of it.


    A little over a minute later, he hurtled around the final corner and the edge of the town came into sight. He almost ran into Kahina, who was backing up toward him fast.


    ?Mononoke!? he heard someone scream. ?Get back!?


    As he dodged right to avoid running straight into Kahina''s back, the scene snapped into startling clarity.


    The workers and Kahina were fleeing back into the town, their gazes locked on what appeared to be some sort of plant writhing in the middle of the open space immediately in front of the house they had been working on.


    As Xavier emerged out from behind Kahina, he saw the plant''s tendrils flex and he somehow knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was going to hurl itself at Kahina.


    There was no time for thought; Xavier threw himself forward at the same moment that the plant-thing did, and they collided a foot or two in front of Kahina in a tangle of thorny vines and flailing limbs.


    For the next few moments Xavier and a plant waged furious battle. Its limbs or vines or roots or whatever they were lashed around him and he in turn tore them off his arms, legs, and torso leaving bloody scratches behind where small thorns on the thing dug into his exposed skin.


    ?Help me!? he yelled, but no one was forthcoming.


    Although the plant''s vines were whipping all over the place, there did appear to be a limited number of them, and when Xavier''s left hand found the central stalk of the thing, he was able to pull the bulk of its body away from his chest, giving him leverage to break and tear the vines that were stuck to his clothes and skin. When he was able to apply pressure near the stalk of the plant and twist in opposite directions, the vines tended to snap, and soon he was almost free, the fight seeming to go out of the plant-monster.


    He was about to try hurling the whole thing to the ground and see if stomping on it might free him of the last few clinging vines when he heard something that stopped him dead in his tracks.


    "Wait, please wait!" called a plaintive voice, and Xavier immediately froze in shock.


    That was English.

 Styx: 012

    Styx: 012


    The vines that were tightly wrapped around the central stalk of the plant-thing in Xavier''s hands relaxed and pulled away revealing¡­a really normal-looking white flower. Xavier thought it looked kind of like a daisy, if that daisy were drawn by a six-year-old, described over the phone, and then nurtured by a mad scientist from some sort of mutant plant strain. So actually not much like a daisy now that he thought about it. Regardless, several white petals surrounded a central yellow well that extended down into the stalk of the flower. Two of the upper petals had black splotches, giving it a comic almost-face.


    "Aaaaaah, that feels sooooo goooood!" exclaimed the decidedly masculine voice in English, and the flower tilted up towards Xavier''s face. "I don''t know how many years it''s been since I was able to communicate with something, but, uh, actually nevermind! Never ask a lady her age, and all that." There was something really strange about this, but Xavier was having a hard time putting his finger on it.


    "So, who are you, anyway?" continued the voice. "I didn''t sense you at all until you were suddenly all up in my grill breaking my arms. Boy, I tell you, I haven''t had that much of a challenge in years! And then all of a sudden, ZING, and I''m experiencing coherent thought! Wow was that a kick in the pants! Not that I wear pants, you understand."


    ?Wait,? said Xavier, and shook his head. "I mean, wait." He stared closely at the flower in his hands, which cocked its head at him. "Are you a talking flower?" He still wasn''t sure where this voice was coming from, but the flower''s movements and slight gestures of its vines coincided perfectly with the voice he was hearing.


    "Weeeeeeell," said the voice. "I mean, yes, this is me¡ª" here the flower shrugged its vines and gestured lightly toward itself "¡ªbut I''m technically not making any sound, just creating the illusion of sound directly in your auditory cortex." Xavier felt a light tap against the side of his head and realized that the plant had one of its vines draped over his shoulder and resting lightly against his head. Although he didn''t feel any thorns on this one, he had a difficult time not jerking away in surprise.


    "How¡ª" he began, but changed course. "Why do you speak English?"


    "English? Excuse you," said the plant. "I''d offer you a leaf to blow your nose on, but I seem to have lost them all trekking halfway across the desert. Anyway, like I mentioned mere seconds ago I don''t actually speak. It''s more like, hmmm, high-level sympathetic synchronicity via an ad-hoc nima alignment."


    "What." Xavier wasn''t even sure where to begin with that.


    "Look, I''d love to sit here and chat," said the plant, before Xavier had a chance to continue. "But maybe you should do something about those animals who are trying to kill us?"


    Xavier looked up and realized that he was surrounded by bakuhito¡ªalbeit at a distance that couldn''t be crossed by the vines of the plant thing in his hands¡ªand they did not look friendly. They were, in point of fact, arguing with Kahina over the immediate necessity of killing Xavier where he sat.


    "Wait¡ªdamn it." Suddenly dropping into English had seriously messed with his head. ?Wait, what are you saying? Don''t kill us!?


    ?You see?? Kahina demanded.


    ?That''s a mononoke, you fool Antean!? shouted a wolf-person who was clutching one of the sledgehammers they had been using to break apart fallen adobe like he was worried Xavier was going to leap at him and chew his face off. ?He''s already lost, it''s just a matter of time!?


    "What are they talking about?" muttered Xavier, half to himself.


    "Ah, well, hmm, normally they''d be correct," piped up the plant. "I do seem to recall that''s the typical way things have gone for¡ªa while. You''re just a weirdo. I wouldn''t recommend handing me to anyone else, if you get my drift."


    "What, like you''d hurt them?"


    "Not intentionally! But like I said coherent thought has been impossible for a very long time, and well¡ªmore like if one of your ''friends'' there¡ªand I''m using that term sarcastically, not sure if that comes across with this mental connection doohickey¡ªpicked me up I''d quickly cause them to self-destruct. Hey, maybe you should tell them that I''m harmless before they really work themselves into doing something they''ll regret? Mostly harmless. Harmless unless handled? Whatever, I''m not the diplomat with vocal chords, that''s you."Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ?It''s harmless right now!? Xavier called to the bakuhito who paused in their argument with Kahina to turn his way. ?The, uh, mononoke?? Ugh, the temptation to call it a princess was almost overwhelming. ?It says it will not hurt anyone. But do not touch it!?


    ?The mononoke talks?? The skepticism practically dripped from the wolf''s mouth.


    ?Yes!? Xavier called. He turned his attention to the flower. "Could you maybe do something to show you''re not hostile?"


    "Oh, very well," grumbled the flower. "The things a girl will do for a halfway intelligible conversation partner." The vines around the flower shuddered, twitched, and then all of the vines with really nasty thorns fell off at once, leaving only a number of petite vines extending from the stalk of the flower that wrapped lightly around Xavier''s forearm, and a pair of longer vines without thorns, including the one that was currently resting against the side of his head. At the movement the bakuhito around him jerked back a step almost as one.


    ?See?? called Xavier. ?It means no harm.?


    ?We can''t trust it,? growled the wolf. ?How can we be sure it won''t attack us as soon as we get close??


    ?Why not wait?? rumbled Kahina. ?The response team should be here shortly. Let them sort it out and you won''t have to put yourself in danger. Zabi-san is clearly not going on a rampage.?


    ?She makes a good point,? said one of the goat people who had been helping with the rebuilding project, and the tone of the crowd shifted from murderous to fearful and wary.


    Several minutes later, a group of wolf bakuhito loped up who Xavier could only assume were the response team Kahina had mentioned. Their equipment and the way they carried themselves was exactly like Yukio''s group¡ªthe only difference being that this entire team was wolves. After a few tense minutes during which the group wanted to fling spears at Xavier from afar, their leader approached.


    ?You, human,? snapped the wolf. ?Put the mononoke on the ground and take a full step back. If you are lying and it has already taken root, I will kill you where you stand.?


    ?I will put it down,? said Xavier.


    "Hmmm, yeah, okay I suppose this will probably work out fine," said the plant, obvious doubt coloring its voice. "But, uh, if I happen to try and go after Mr. Big and Hairy there, jump on me, would you? I''d rather not cause an incident. Also I''d appreciate if my ticket to coherence avoids being dead."


    "¡ªRight. I want to hear about this ''taking root'' thing once you reassure them you''re not dangerous, though."


    "Oh, that? You don''t have anything to worry about. I tried to permanently attach to you at least half a dozen times when we were wrastlin'' just a bit ago, and it didn''t work at all."


    "Wrastlin''?"


    "Maybe this method of communication still needs a bit of work; that didn''t have quite the same flavor coming as going. Bumping uglies?"


    "That''s definitely not it. I''m putting you down now."


    Xavier carefully set the plant down, and it immediately withdrew its vines from him and dug them into the soil around it. Keeping an eye on it, Xavier took a large step back, leaving the flower looking unexpectedly small and lonely in the middle of the pack of bakuhito.


    The entire time, the wolf hadn''t let his spear waver from Xavier, but as Xavier stepped back the wolf kept it trained on the mononoke. When after a few seconds the flower remained still, the bakuhito let out a huge sigh. ?I''ll be damned. Now I''ve seen everything.?


    ?May I pick it up?? asked Xavier nervously. While the wolf had relaxed, he''d been feeling entirely on edge, since he was fairly certain the flower hadn''t been kidding about potentially needing to be jumped on and if he wasn''t mistaken it was starting to lean ever-so-slightly toward the wolf. ?I¡­drain it.? He was reasonably sure that was the right term; he''d certainly heard it enough times by now whenever he came into contact with someone, and it was as good an explanation as any for what was evidently an entirely atypical encounter with this plant or monster or whatever it was.


    The wolf eyed the flower with an inscrutable expression, then gave a short nod. As Xavier placed his hands on the flower, its remaining long tendrils whipped up and slapped painfully against his arms. He recoiled slightly, but the flower didn''t move any more than that for several seconds, until one of the vines slid gently up his shoulder and it helped him left it up.


    "I should maybe stay in contact with you, alright?" said the flower. "That¡ªwas not a very safe idea."


    "Good to know," said Xavier warily.


    ?Are you truly talking to the mononoke in that strange language?? interjected the response team leader.


    ?Yes,? replied Xavier. ?I hear it¡ªuh¡ªin my head.?


    The wolf eyed him. ?Where are you staying??


    ?The Isei Wayhouse.?


    ?We''ll escort you back, then, and evacuate the wayhouse for the evening. You are not to go anywhere with that thing until the elders have a chance to decide what to do with you. Antean-san, since I hear you''re advocating mercy you get to watch him and make sure he doesn''t go on a rampage.?


    ?Very well,? said Kahina.


    "Well, hey!" said the flower, in a voice only Xavier could hear. "Who doesn''t like a sleepover?"

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    Styx: 013


    The wolf bakuhito squad leader insisted that Xavier and Kahina wait until they had completely cleared the street of others before they allowed them to begin the long walk back to Isei Wayhouse. While they walked the mononoke disturbed Xavier¡ªnot to mention every bakuhito in their escort¡ªby crawling around his torso until it finally settled on his left shoulder.


    Xavier tried his best to ignore the feeling of small tentacles dragging a three-pound flower monster around his body, and focused on Kahina, who for the first time since he had met her was walking far enough away that they wouldn''t touch.


    ?What is a mononoke??


    ?Myths,? she grumbled. ?Or so I thought until I visited the Tachigare.?


    ?But what do they do? Why is everyone so afraid of it??


    ?Mononoke invade a host, and then pump them so full of Vigor that they become a kami.?


    ?What is ''invade''??


    Kahina looked troubled, and the bakuhito squad leader spoke over his shoulder. ?Mononoke force their way into your body and wrap their roots around your internal organs. They''re impossible to remove without killing their host.?


    Xavier looked askance at the flower that was sunnily perched on his shoulder. "What? Do I have something on my petals? Oh, you don''t have to worry about the whole internal organs thing. Like I said, before I was conscious I gave that a shot with you and it didn''t work out. Drained me as soon as I came into contact, and it completely disrupted my ability to penetrate your skin properly."


    ?You are sleeping on the floor tonight,? said Xavier.


    "Uh, right, so that might not be the best idea, given that I turn into what is evidently these nice doggie''s worst nightmare as soon as I''m out of contact with you for a few minutes."


    ?You''re still staying outside the blankets.?


    "Fine, whatever, it''s not like I want to cuddle up with your squishy meat-self anyway. We''ll just hold hands. All. Night. Long." And the plant wrapped a tendril around Xavier''s upper arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze.


    What was with everyone¡ªor in this case, everything¡ªwanting to hold his hand in this world? Sure, manga tended to play up the whole "other cultures are so touchy-feely" thing, but this was getting silly.


    Xavier turned away from the mononoke to find Kahina staring intently at him. ?That thing is seriously communicating with you??


    Xavier nodded, and the giantess gave him a speculative look he couldn''t otherwise interpret.


    "Oooh, pretty sure she just wants you for your body," said the mononoke.


    Xavier didn''t dignify that with a response.


    <hr>


    The group arrived at Isei Wayhouse to find Sumiko arguing with the bakuhito who had been sent ahead outside the otherwise-empty building.


    ?No, I will not leave!? the racoon-girl was saying as they approached. ?You should leave if you''re so afraid of a human who can''t even transfer heat from a rock to keep himself safe at night! Yes, I''m very well aware he''s come into contact with a mononoke. You think you Henkan wolves are the only ones who have ever encountered mononoke? Get out of my wayhouse!?You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    Xavier stopped in surprise. He''d never seen Sumiko so angry before; her hair was actually bristling. As the wolf she''d been berating retreated with his tail literally between his legs, Sumiko caught sight of the rest of them.


    ?You look awful, Zabi-kun,? she said, running a hand over her hair and smoothing it back down. ?Do me a favor and pick that thing up off your shoulder for a moment, would you??


    Xavier complied, the mononoke letting go of his shoulder slowly with what almost seemed like regret.


    Xavier didn''t see it, but Sumiko was suddenly right in front of him, having covered the distance between the two of them fast enough he hadn''t been able to track it.


    ?Hmm, good.? She plucked the vine off the side of his head, but let it go as soon as it completely cleared his hair and stepped back. ?Thank you, Zabi-kun.? She turned to the rest of the group while Xavier just gaped at her with his hand and the mononoke still held up in the air. She''d grabbed the thing so casually when everyone else who had seen it had kept him at arm''s reach. What the hell?


    "What the hell?" said the mononoke. "That tanuki girl is crazy rude! Just man-handling me like that!"


    "She''s a racoon," said Xavier under his breath, thankfully remembering to speak in English this time. He was finding it difficult to switch languages.


    The mononoke subsided on his shoulder, grumbling to itself as it reasserted its grip on him.


    ?Zabi-kun and the Antean¡ªI am sorry, it''s Kahina-san, correct?¡ªare welcome to stay here, but I will be staying, as well.?


    ?Who are you, anyway?? asked the squad leader, annoyance turning his voice into a growl.


    ?My name is Sumiko. I am the caretaker of this wayhouse.?


    ?Sumiko¡­ah. Formally of the Araiguma traders??


    Xavier noticed Sumiko''s hair was starting to fluff back up again, but she nodded curtly.


    ?Um, very good. We will leave the mononoke and the human here with you; the Antean will need to stay here tonight, as well. If you need anything, please call. We will be posting sentries around the building tonight, and I expect the elders will want to talk to the human in the morning.?


    ?Understood.?


    The wolves gathered themselves into a pack and dispersed around the wayhouse, the squad leader giving orders and sending off runners as they went.


    After they left, Sumiko turned to Xavier and sighed. ?Zabi-kun, what have you got yourself into??


    ?He saved me,? rumbled Kahina from behind Xavier, making him jump as her left hand came to rest on his right shoulder.


    ?Ah, Kahina-san,? said Sumiko. ?Right this way, please. I''m sorry, you''ll have to crouch, Isei Wayhouse wasn''t constructed with Anteans in mind. Zabi-kun, if you''ll wait for me in the dining room, I will get Kahina-san settled and bring food for both of you.?


    Sumiko bustled off with a bemused Kahina in tow, and for lack of anything better to do, Xavier headed to the dining room. Once there, he sat down at one of the tables and placed the mononoke in front of him, though it kept its single vine running up to rest gently against his head.


    "Alright, talk," said Xavier. "What exactly are you? And why is everyone except apparently Sumiko-san deathly afraid of you?"


    "Ah, well, this is embarrassing, but you''d probably have to ask one of those fearful types. My social life has been nonexistent for¡ªa while now¡ªand honestly I don''t remember a lot of details for the intervening years. Until I ran into you I wasn''t much for cognizant thought."


    "Why is that? I mean, I get that the way I unintentionally siphon ?Vigor? from living things that I touch, but why would that allow you to think?"


    The mononoke didn''t answer for quite some time, and Xavier finally reached out a hand and gently brushed its petals. "Hey¡ªcome to think, what should I even call you? Do you have a name?"


    The plant shook itself slightly, and tilted its flower at him. "Mononoke works. I''m not entirely sure I agree with the connotations, but I have no idea what else my kind is being called these days. And given the reactions I''ve gotten so far, that might be the nicest term."


    "I get that''s what your species is called, but what about you as an individual? There''s more than just you out there, right?"


    "I''m not sharing!" said the mononoke, its vine tightening around Xavier''s ear for a second. "But no, I''m not the only one. I suppose you could give me a name, if you really care about it. I''ve never needed one before."


    "Huh, okay." Xavier closed his eyes and thought. "I''m pretty terrible at naming, honestly. My sisters always vetoed all my ideas whenever we needed to name a pet. How about Bob? Or Dave?"


    "Excuse me?! Does it look like I''ve got stamens? I am a lady!"


    "Ah, right, right." He''d forgotten. Damn it, why did the flower have such a masculine-sounding voice? "Girl names, girl names. Maybe Daisy? But that''s so corny. Princess is honestly what comes to mind, but that''s right out¡ª"


    He''d been muttering to himself, but the mononoke visibly perked up. "Princess? Ooh, that''s a good one! Let''s go with that."


    "¡ªYou''re kidding, right?"

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    Styx: 014


    "Alright, Princess," said Xavier, cringing inwardly at the name. "You were about to tell me why getting siphoned of Vigor would allow you to think for yourself instead of being some sort of parasitic killing machine."


    "Right, yeah. Right. Um. Have you ever heard of Yggdrasil?"


    "Yggdrasil? Isn''t that Norse mythology or something?"


    "Well, I''m not sure what this ''Norse'' thing is about¡ª"


    ?Did you say Yggdrasil, Zabi-kun??


    Xavier started. He hadn''t heard Sumiko enter, but she was standing quietly near the wall just outside of his peripheral vision.


    "Uh¡ª" he paused to shift gears. ?Yes, the mono¡ªPrincess was just saying something about it. I don''t know what it is, though.? Aside from a mythological tree in his own world.


    ?You named the mononoke Princess??


    ?Ah, well it¡ª?


    "She!"


    ?¡ªsorry, I mean she picked it.?


    ?You really are able to talk to it,? said Sumiko. She sounded almost¡­sad? Xavier wasn''t sure what emotion he was picking up on, and he didn''t get a chance to dwell on it before Sumiko briskly moved to join him at the table. ?And what is the mononoke''s relationship to Yggdrasil??


    ?She hasn''t told me what Yggdrasil even is, yet.?


    "Was," said Princess in a quiet voice. "What Yggdrasil was."


    ?What do the bakuhito say of Yggdrasil, Sumiko-san?? Xavier started a second time and twisted in place to discover that Kahina had slipped into the room and was sitting on the floor near the doorway. ?Zabi-san evidently is not familiar, and I have not had a chance to hear the bakuhito account yet.?


    ?The mononoke doesn''t mind if I describe it?? asked Sumiko, with a look to Princess.


    The flower bowed its head to her and waved a vine. "Tell her to go ahead. If I''m going to be coexisting with these late-comers, I need to know what they believe anyway, so that saves time."


    Sumiko evidently understood without Xavier needing to relay the message. ?Very well. I will try to describe it the way my mother did to me.? Sumiko closed her eyes for a moment, and then began. ?Before the desert, before Ai-tousama walked the earth, before even the moon hung in the sky there was Yggdrasil. It is said that when a tree reaches its hundredth year it becomes a kami. When it reaches its thousandth year, it may become a great kami. And if it could reach its ten-thousandth year, perhaps it could become a kami such as Yggdrasil. Of the seven great kami, Yggdrasil was the strongest, and its roots reached to the center of the world while its branches held up the heavens.?


    She paused, then scrunched up her face. ?Honestly, I know lots of stories about Ai-tousama, but Yggdrasil doesn''t really come up much.? She turned to Xavier. ?The great kami was destroyed a little over two thousand years ago, and the first bakuhito weren''t born until a few hundred years later when the area was already turning into the Tachigare Desert. Does the Confederacy have a different story, Kahina-san??


    ?Well, it''s maybe a little less lyrical, but no. I was merely curious if there were any differences, since you live right about where the tree was rumored to grow.?


    ?We''ve never been much concerned with trees,? said Sumiko, sounding wistful. ?So, mononoke, how are you related to Yggdrasil??


    "We were the kami''s offspring, of sorts. It created us to act as liaisons with trusted lesser kami, and grow its own supply of¡ªwhat was it you called it? Vigor? That''s not a very good name, by the way."Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ?She says that the mononoke were children of Yggdrasil who helped increase its Vigor.?


    ?Seeds of Gaia,? breathed Kahina, leaning forward with an intense look on her face. ?I wondered, when I heard mononoke described by bakuhito if the two were the same thing. Guess I was right.?


    ?Yes, I''ve heard that term before,? said Sumiko with disgust. ?We get a few insane kami-wishers every few years who think they actually want to find a mononoke. Idiots.?


    ?What is Gaia?? asked Xavier.


    ?Just another term for Yggdrasil,? said Kahina. ?It''s common in many of the southwest Confederate States.?


    Xavier was curious about this Confederacy, but one problem at a time. ?So why does my siphoning Vigor allow you to speak??


    "When Yggdrasil fell, we lost our outlet, our support, our reason for being," said Princess quietly. "After a few years, the Vigor built up to the point where it¡ªwell, I guess it just fuzzed out our brains a bit, yeah? We all of us got stuck with not much more than basic instinct pushing us on. Hell, I wouldn''t be surprised if Yggdrasil was maintaining some sort of low-level drain at all times, or maybe the years of channeling Vigor without any outlet physically changed us. You''re such a glutton, though, that you actually drained off my excess enough that I regained consciousness."


    Xavier paraphrased that as best he could for Sumiko and Kahina, although all this language context switching was giving him a headache.


    ?That''s all very well and good,? said Sumiko, leaning toward Princess with a feral smile. ?We''ve always known that mononoke benefit from their hosts, even if in this case your normal approach to taking hosts failed. But how does Zabi-kun benefit from having you around, mononoke? Why shouldn''t I pay you back for all the bakuhito we have lost at the hands of the monstrosities you''ve no doubt ridden and save him the burden??


    Princess hunkered down on the tabletop and even Xavier pulled back slightly. Sumiko was generally a very peaceful person, so this sudden suggestion of aggressive violence was a huge surprise. Although¡ª "She has a good point. What exactly am I getting out of protecting you?"


    "You wouldn''t hurt a helpless flower, would you?!"


    "From everything I''ve heard and seen, it seems like mononoke have been the source of a lot of suffering and death. And for what, two thousand years? How old are you?"


    "I already told you not to ask a lady her age!" snapped Princess. "And yes, I probably have caused a lot of suffering by elevating creatures to kami faster than their minds can handle over the years, but this is the first time since my world ended that I was able to think about it coherently enough to feel guilty! Please don''t¡ªdon''t make me go back to that. I really can''t¡ªI just¡ª" Princess paused for several seconds, until the trembling that had overcome her central stalk died down. "Anyway, you''re a fan of not dying, right? And I can certainly help you with that. Honestly, I''m a little surprised you survived this long without me."


    "What the hell are you talking about?"


    "Have you been siphoning Vigor from these animals frequently, then? Because I have to tell you, you are sucking down Vigor at an absolutely stunning rate. I''ve been watching the absorption levels, and I''m fairly certain you would die if you went for a couple days without siphoning off Vigor from someone. I''ve never seen anything quite like it."


    ?What is the mononoke saying?? asked Sumiko, who had been watching its every twitch.


    ?Ah, sorry. Princess says that I would die if I didn''t siphon Vigor for a few days, and she can prevent that.?


    Sumiko sat back, looking surprised. ?Oh. That''s a good point, actually. Mononoke do certainly increase Vigor.?


    ?Do you think maybe if I keep Princess around I''d be able to transfer heat from rocks myself then??


    "You want to manipulate Vigor? Are you crazy? There''s no way. I''ve been pouring excess into you since you started trying to break my arms off, and the pull hasn''t slowed one bit. But, uh, I''m still totally useful! Please don''t let the scary tanuki girl kill me!"


    "I already told you, she''s a racoon. It''s a good thing Sumiko-san can''t hear you."


    ?If you can find a way to keep it secret, the mononoke could be very valuable to you if you ever visit the Confederacy,? broke in Kahina. ?Some of my fellows would be very interested in communicating with a being that was alive for Yggdrasil''s destruction, and there are always the kami-seekers. Although, revealing its existence to any of them would quite dangerous.?


    Now that was interesting. Xavier had been wondering how he was going to be able to make his way in the broader world, since although the bakuhito had been very good to him, it was blindingly obvious that none of them would have the slightest idea how he might have arrived from another world or how me might go back. Perhaps someone beyond the borders of the desert might have a better idea, and having a living source of knowledge of ancient history could open a lot of doors. Assuming he could figure out a way to travel out of this damn desert, that is.


    Plus the way this mononoke dropped into his lap, he was fairly certain it was an obligatory manga powerup. Maybe Princess would turn out to be wrong and he''d be working magic himself in no time¡­


    "Yeah, uh, also talking to old guys," said Princess. "I can handle that like a total boss. Sooooo we all friends here? Yeah? Friends, definitely. Maybe tell the ta¡ªracoon girl that she can stop dissecting me with her eyes?"


    Xavier laughed. Yes, he could certainly do that. ?Sumiko-san, you said something about dinner??

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    Styx: 015


    Late that evening, Xavier lay in bed, trying to ignore the raspy feeling of Princess''s vine wrapped lightly around his wrist as he fell asleep.


    Not that falling asleep was working all too well for him. His thoughts were absolutely refusing to settle down, darting from topic to topic with nervous energy.


    It wasn''t hard to figure out why, either. The plot had just caught up to him with a vengeance, and he was reasonably certain that his life was about to get a lot more exciting thanks to his introduction to Princess.


    Unfortunately, for the time being he didn''t have much choice besides waiting and seeing where having a mononoke in his life would take him. Princess was obviously going to complicate his life with the bakuhito in a big way¡ªnerves over his second meeting with the elders tomorrow morning was a big contributing factor to his inability to sleep¡ªand given that isekai manga tended to love events and conflicts that affected entire countries, if not the world¡­well, it seemed likely that the manga would be providing him an incentive to leave Henka since life here was pretty much just focused on day-to-day life.


    He briefly considered trying to extricate himself from the mononoke, but he couldn''t ignore the likely opportunities that would arise from having access to a creature that had personally experienced ancient history. Plus hey, who knew? Maybe the mononoke would offer him a path to being an over-power protagonist, and although he wasn''t sure he''d want to make that choice, having options would be a great change of pace from just frantically learning the language in hopes he could make himself useful before the people he was dependent upon decided he was more trouble than he was worth.


    Mononoke aside, it was about time he gave some serious thought to what he could likely expect, and make some plans so that he didn''t have to allow heat-of-the-moment decisions to guide him down a path he would rather not walk.


    He''d been in this world for a couple months now, by his rough count, and had noticed relatively few coincidences that were obviously driven by the Genre. Stumbling into the midst of Yukio and friends'' hunt for a youkai was obviously a manga coincidence, as was Kahina''s being in town. Otherwise, however, most of the things that had happened seemed to flow from everyday life.


    When he thought about it, isekai manga tended to start in similar ways: either the protagonist was thrown into an existing political situation where he was dependent upon the people in power for getting by day-to-day, and then expected to fight on their behalf; or the protagonist was left to their own devices, and forced to build up some sort of survival strategy of their own. Some manga would transition from one to the other, but it was pretty unusual in Xavier''s experience to find an isekai that bucked both of those trends.


    The fact that his own situation didn''t really fit either trend meant that one or the other was likely imminent in one form or another. The lack of any royalty and the survival-oriented nature of the desert made Xavier suspect that the "base building" approach was more likely, but that wasn''t very consistent with him making a bunch of friends who were currently supporting him¡ªalthough if one or more of them were planning to betray him in such a way that he would be forced to live alone in the desert with just the mononoke for company, that might push him into the over-powered survivalist sub-genre. Assuming the mononoke was able to unlock his magical ability or something, of course.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    On second thought, Princess had flat out said that she couldn''t do that. Hmm.


    He just couldn''t see how he was likely to become embroiled in a politically-driven struggle, though. From what he had gathered while learning the language, the bakuhito were not politically associated with anyone other than scattered towns and clans of other bakuhito across the desert. He''d heard mentions of an empire to the north, and Kahina had mentioned a confederacy of some sort, but they both seemed far removed from Henka.


    Well, as long as he didn''t end up stranded, he would honestly prefer the base-building approach since it would provide him with some self-sufficiency. Manga protagonists who allowed themselves to be caught up in a broad conflict tended not to have any time or energy to spend on finding a way home, and Xavier was completely unwilling to give that up.


    Of course, that was all well and good, but from a practical standpoint, how could he influence the plot in that direction? First and foremost, he needed to pay attention to the things the people around him needed. Classic manga protagonist would be to just sweep everyone around him along with whatever injustice snagged his fancy. Trying to meet the needs of others would definitely push him in the "building a power base" direction, so that was a good start. Other than that, he''d need to be leery of blindly following the directives of authority figures.


    Not that there were many authority figures around, at the moment. He''d just need to be on his guard with the elders tomorrow, he supposed. Until now, if they''d requested something of him he wouldn''t have had much choice, but now that he knew Princess might open new doors for him he could potentially leverage that to make a living. He needed to remember to talk to Kahina and figure out what her short-term plans were. She was his most obvious ticket out of here, although he''d also noticed Yukio talking as if he wanted to travel more than once. The cat-boy was certainly free-spirited enough that he could provide a way to escape Henka with a bit of prompting, assuming he didn''t freak out about Princess the way most every bakuhito except Sumiko had done.


    Which reminded him: what was the deal with Sumiko? He hadn''t seen the wolf bakuhito who had escorted him to the wayhouse since he and his squad went outside to keep watch, so he hadn''t had any opportunity to ask why he caved and let Sumiko stay so easily. Had she encountered a mononoke before?


    He kind of regretted the fact that he likely was going to need to leave Henka soon, because he was incredibly curious about Sumiko''s backstory. Given how easily she knocked around the agile Yukio and her evident comfort handling monsters like a mononoke, it was odd that she in charge of a wayhouse instead of helping out the youkai hunters. And evidently her family or clan or whatever was famous or something?


    Plus she told great stories, was always willing to help him in the dead of night when he needed help preventing himself from turning into an icicle, and had endless patience helping him through his language problems.


    Alright, new plan: figure out what Sumiko was looking for and see if she might provide an unexpected route out of Henka. Perhaps Kahina could serve as a fallback.


    At long last, Xavier started drifting off imagining conversations with Sumiko, although as he drew closer and closer to sleep she somehow stopped sounding like Sumiko and started sounding like a certain blonde-haired girl he''d lived with until recently.


    A sudden jolt of adrenaline sent Xavier right back awake. Now he thought of it, isekai stories were almost universally harems, weren''t they?


    Well, shit. Maybe he wasn''t going to sleep quite so easily tonight, after all.

 Styx: 016

    Styx: 016


    The next morning, Sumiko woke Xavier up bright and early to go meet the elders. Once again Xavier found himself on an uncomfortable wooden bench, but there was a big difference this time: the stands were absolutely packed. Despite the early hour, everywhere except the seats closest to Xavier were full to bursting with bakuhito.


    Kahina, Sumiko, and about half of the wolf squadron that had been keeping an eye on him were the only ones sitting in the lower levels directly behind him, and aside from Princess¡ªwho remained on his shoulder¡ªXavier was the only one in the hotseat.


    He kind of missed having Yukio there. Especially because the final difference between his first encounter with the elders and this one was that he understood almost all of what they were saying, and it was frankly terrifying.


    ?Who cares if the mononoke is supposedly talking to him?? shouted an old wolf. ?He''s probably just lying in hopes he''ll reach kami before we can deal with him! Don''t you see that this explains why he was in the Deadlands in the first place? He was hunting for a mononoke like every human who has come through Henka before him!?


    ?Kill the pair and be done with it,? growled a second wolf. ?It''s not worth the risk.?


    ?Idiots!? hissed one of the lizard bakuhito. ?If it''s true he can communicate with the monster, then he might be communicating with a creature that was alive in the age of Yggdrasil! I agree he''s too dangerous to live, but we absolutely must try communicating with it before taking rash action. With the proper precautions¡ª?


    ?What precautions could possibly work against a bonded mononoke?? broke in one of the goats.


    ?The wayhouse keeper insists that he isn''t bonded,? interjected Sadao. ?Which is unprecedented. Clearly something is unusual in this case.?


    ?Oh, well if it''s unusual then by all means throw out two thousand years'' worth of historical evidence of mononoke running amok,? said a bakuhito that appeared to be part bird of prey.


    Xavier wasn''t sure how long the shouting match would continue, but Princess swiveled her head towards the door behind him which made him realize that something was going on outside.


    ?¡ªus through!? he heard a voice boom, and then the doors to the room were thrown violently open.


    To Xavier''s surprise, Hisao¡ªthe bear man who lead Yukio''s company¡ªstrode through, all but dragging an exhausted-looking lizard bakuhito in his wake. Yukio and the rest of his comrades poured in behind him.


    ?What is the meaning of this?!? shrilled an old wolf bakuhito from the crowd of elders, many of whom had gotten to their feet. ?We are in the middle¡ª?The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ?This is urgent,? growled Hisao, brushing past Xavier with barely a glance at him and pushing the lizard he was accompanying forward. ?Tell them,? he said to the lizard, much more gently than he''d been speaking to the elders.


    ?The Sunda¡ª? began the lizard in an exhausted voice, but Xavier lost the thread.


    He had twisted around on the bench to watch everyone come in, vaguely wondering if he would catch sight of Yukio. He finally spotted him amongst the last few bakuhito to make their way in just as Hisao passed him on his beeline towards the elders. However, as he began to turn back around the air in the doorway almost seemed to shimmer and it caught his attention.


    Idly, he stared at the doorway for another second or so, wondering what he''d seen, and without conscious thought his eyes tracked down the stairs even though there was absolutely nothing there. It was the weirdest feeling, as if he knew there should be something to watch, except it got lost somewhere between his eyes and his brain.


    Xavier shook his head to clear it, and as he did he caught the shimmer again out of the corner of his eye. It was directly beside his chair.


    Without really thinking about it, he reached out and grabbed it.


    Under his hand, a man¡ªa human man¡ªappeared out of thin air, Xavier''s hand on his shoulder and a look of complete and utter shock on his face.


    Everything seemed to freeze for a split second, the only sound in the room the exhausted lizard bakuhito continuing to speak with his back to Xavier.


    ?¡ªadvancing up the valley¡ª?


    "Well, that''s a nasty piece of work," commented Princess, and at the same time as the man under Xavier''s hand jerked his shoulder away and began to sprint toward the elders with his hand slapping towards himself, Princess whipped a vine out and knocked it against an intricately decorated wooden box strapped to the man''s chest a split second before his hand crushed it.


    Vigor cascaded into Xavier with a sudden rush, sending him sprawling off his bench and onto his back. As he gaped at the ceiling, trying to regain his breath, pandemonium reigned.


    Xavier scrambled back to his feet, Princess crawling up his leg as he did so from where she''d landed on the ground. The lizard bakuhito was cowering behind Hisao, the strange human was lying in the dirt with his head twisted at a completely improbable angle, and numerous bakuhito from the elders to Hisao to the spectators were looking more than a little animalistic.


    ?Silence!? roared Sadao, striding through the elders and looking distinctly brawny. He crouched by the dead man and quickly inspected him. ?Hisao-kun, you and your people will guard the door.? He pointed to the squad leader who had brought Xavier and Princess to the meeting in the first place. ?Hachiro-kun, you and your squad send up the howl. I want all fighters in Henka on standby immediately.? The old goat bent down to the lizard Hisao had accompanied, who was a good head or two shorter than him. ?Come, tell the elders your tale.?


    Xavier, now completely ignored and doing his best to in turn ignore a dead body mere feet away, turned to find that Yukio had slipped up next to him.


    ?So you were the one getting grilled today, Zabi-kun? Good thing, though, since it meant everyone was right here where we needed them. How did you detect that Sunda??


    ?What is a Sunda? What is going on??


    ?A soldier from the Sundlin Empire.? Kahina had evidently drawn nearby. Huh, Sumiko had joined them, too. ?The bakuhito have difficulty with the pronunciation, so they commonly refer to the empire as Sunda. But more important than what Zabi-san just did¡ªYukio-san, why is a Sundlin soldier here??


    Yukio''s eyes went flat, his face entirely without humor in a way Xavier had never seen before. ?The Sunda army is coming here.?


    ?What?? gasped Sumiko. ?Why? What could possibly be of interest to Sunda in Henka??


    Yukio shook his head. ?From what I''ve heard, I don''t think it''s Henka in particular. They''ve destroyed every bakuhito settlement from here to Tenshin. It''s a crusade.?

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    Styx: 017


    Kahina frowned. ?The Sundlin Empire hasn''t issued a crusade in two hundred years. When I left the Confederacy, the Children of Man were barely relevant to Sundlin politics.?


    Yukio shrugged. ?Well, something changed, because they''re practically at our doorstep. We sent Tobi-san to scout their vanguard after we picked up Asahi-san¡ª? Yukio pointed towards the elders, who were currently surrounding the lizard bakuhito ?¡ªand as best she could tell they had completely sacked Keikoku and were on their way up the valley.?


    ?Shit, they might be only a day away,? growled Kahina. ?How is this the first we''ve heard of this??


    ?Asahi-san said the army is moving absurdly fast; evidently they hit Keikoku hard, but didn''t seem interested in holding it. Just destroyed as much as they could and moved on.?


    ?That''s insane. What could they possibly be trying to accomplish??


    ?Does it matter?? interjected Sumiko. ?If there''s a hostile army that nearby, then it''s not like we have a lot of options.?


    ?It matters to me,? grumbled Kahina.


    The discussion was interrupted by Sadao. The old goat bakuhito shoved his way out of the group of elders and stepped up next to Kahina.


    ?Sadao-sama,? said Yukio in the most respectful tone Xavier had ever heard him use.


    Sadao grunted before turning his attention to Kahina. ?The Society for Progress. You had any contact with them lately??


    ?No, sir,? responded Kahina. ?I have not heard from them in several months, and so far as I know I''m the only member this far outside the borders of the Confederacy at the moment.?


    ?Damn.? His attention shifted to Xavier. ?You and your pet mononoke are off the hook for now, Zabi-kun. That trick you pulled with the suicide trooper there. I''ve seen those types of artifacts before, and you and the mononoke defused both of them within seconds. If not for you, we would have a whole passel of dead and wounded right now. Thank you.? Sadao bowed deeply to Xavier. ?Will you fight with us? Your ability to detect and destroy artifacts would be incredibly helpful against the Sundas.?


    Kahina shifted her weight, but said nothing.


    And Xavier felt the plot spool away in front of him like a red carpet being unrolled. A desperate situation with the people who fed and supported him until now in need of his help. A mysterious power that only he could use. The army of an evil empire bearing down upon them.


    Henka would be destroyed, but with Xavier''s help hope would not be lost. He and the bakuhito would find themselves in a desperate guerrilla fight against a superior force, and thanks to his otherworldly knowledge and innate abilities he would quickly transition into a leadership role, simultaneously headlining the charge and directing the resistance effort. With the help of Kahina, he would eventually pull this Confederacy of hers into the struggle, and through blood and struggle they would emerge victorious only to discover that this attack was but a harbinger of a greater disaster still to come. Perhaps at this point he would be offered a choice: find a way home, or continue to support the people he had come to care deeply about in their ongoing struggle for the livelihood of their world. Regretfully, he would put off his search for a way home but the payoff would be victory and a deep and abiding set of relationships with the survivors, along with a place to belong unlike any he ever had back in his own world.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    On the other hand¡­ ?A few minutes ago you were debating whether to kill me out of hand.?


    Sadao shrugged. ?That was then. This is now. And in between you and that mononoke saved a bunch of our lives.? He glanced back toward the bickering elders. ?Think about it. We could use your skills. All of you.? He nodded toward Kahina, before wading back into the crowd of elders.


    When Sadao was likely out of earshot, Xavier turned to Kahina. ?I''ve thought about it. You''re planning to leave, aren''t you, Kahina-san? Would you take me with you??


    A look of relief broke through the guarded expression she''d had on her face the entire time Sadao had been talking. ?With pleasure.?


    Yukio draped his arm across Xavier''s shoulders. ?I do believe you''re free to go, Zabi-kun. How about we go talk about this whole ''leaving Henka'' thing back at the wayhouse together?? He turned his attention to Kahina. ?You know, I''m a reeeal handy cat to have around. Fast, quiet, a good scout, quiet.?


    ?Yukio-san¡­?? said Xavier, surprised.


    ?Enough of that,? said Sumiko, whacking Yukio on the head. ?Everyone back to the wayhouse for now.?


    ?Yes,? said Kahina, with a single glance at the still-arguing pack elders, and the four of them exited the building through the front doors.


    <hr>


    After working their way through the gathering crowds of fighters, Xavier and the others arrived at the Isei Wayhouse and Kahina immediately lit into Yukio. ?What is this about accompanying me, neko??


    ?Aw, don''t be that way!? replied Yukio. ?Look, I''ve been surviving in this desert almost as long as I''ve been alive. You''re not going to be able to flee back down the valley, and odds are good you''d run into trouble with the Sunda army if you headed north. That means you''re headed south, which means crossing the desert and for that you''re going to want someone along who knows what they''re doing. No offence, Zabi-kun.?


    Kahina''s eyes narrowed. ?You''re a cat.?


    ?And you''re Antean. How do you like it when people judge you by your size??


    ?Yukio-kun is not like other neko,? broke in Sumiko. ?Please don''t judge him as one.?


    Kahina eyed the two bakuhito for a moment. ?Very well. What is it you want, Yukio-san??


    ?Oh, that''s easy!? said Yukio brightly. ?I''ll help you through the desert, and you introduce me to possible work in the Confederacy. Then I''ll be out of your hair, and out of the Tachigare for good.?


    ?Life is not always easy for bakuhito, even in the Confederacy.?


    ?Hey, I''m a cat. I always land on my feet.?


    Kahina turned toward Xavier. ?Are you alright with this??


    ?Yukio-san was the one who saved me,? said Xavier. ?I would love his company.?


    ?Very well. In that case, the sooner we are away the¡ª?


    ?If you would,? said Sumiko. ?Take me with you, as well. I may not know the desert like Yukio-kun, but my family were traders and I am well acquainted with the villages between here and the Confederacy borderlands.?


    ?Yes! Sumiko-san!? Yukio shouted, and tried to hug her but ended up stumbling past when she adroitly dodged him without taking her eyes off Kahina.


    Kahina ignored his antics. ?What is it you are looking for from me, then??


    ?My life has been this wayhouse for the past few years. I don''t want to see Sunda destroy it, and I already know that my friends here in Henka will stay and fight no matter what I say. I don''t¡ªsome things can''t be properly fought. I don''t want anyone dying to protect me.?


    Kahina leaned forward. ?I know some people at the Society who would likely be interested to talk to you. You are welcome to come, Sumiko-san. Now, unless there''s anyone else hiding nearby who wants to leave with us, I suggest you all pack as quickly as possible.?


    "Great! Peachy!" said Princess. "That sounds like a fantastic idea, because let me tell you if these Sundlin folks have anything worse than what that saboteur was packing, I really don''t want to be hanging around here when they arrive. Hey, Xavier, don''t forget your toothbrush, eh?"


    "How do you even know that word?!"

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    Styx: 018


    Xavier bolted upright, heart pounding as he gasped for breath. He involuntarily shivered; the air was the bitter cold he associated with late night or early morning in Henka.


    "Ah, maybe that was a bit overkill," mumbled Princess. "But whatever, did the trick! We have to go. Right now."


    Xavier all but fell out of bed. "What? What''s wrong?" Shit he was in complete panic mode. What was even going on?


    "That army we thought was a couple days away? Yeah, they''re a lot closer than that. Go get the others. We''re leaving."


    "How can you tell?"


    "You can''t sense those flares? Yeesh, I''m going to have to work on that. Look, there''s been some flares of Vigor that aren''t remotely natural a few miles to the west and¡ªit doesn''t matter! Go wake up everyone and get them moving already!"


    In the state he was in, Xavier didn''t need any more prompting. He bolted out of bed, grabbed the rucksack he''d packed with Sumiko''s help the night before, and all but sprinted out the door.


    <hr>


    An hour later, the group was quickly making its way through the quiet streets¡ªYukio grumbling about false alarms and forsaken hours of the morning¡ªwhen a howl went up from the west.


    ?Shit, your mononoke was right?? said Yukio.


    ?Move,? said Kahina, and for the first time since Princess showed up she grabbed Xavier''s hand with her normal-sized arm and took off at a lope as he scrambled not to fall.


    As they ran, bakuhito began to emerge from their houses looking bleary and panicked.


    ?Gather at the town hall, and prepare to evacuate the town!? Yukio called to people as they charged past.


    The howl was quickly spreading across the town, and more and more people were calling panicked questions to Xavier''s fleeing group, when a large silhouette stepped directly into their path, forcing them to skid to a halt.


    ?Yukio,? said Hisao. In the dim pre-morning light, he looked more like a bear reared up on two legs than a human. ?You''re running the wrong way.?


    ?Damn it,? swore Yukio. ?Hisao-san, I''m sorry. I''m throwing in my lot with Kahina-san. You know I''ve always wanted a way out of Henka. I hate to abandon you after all you''ve done for me, but this is my one chance.?Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    For a few moments, Hisao loomed silently. Kahina dropped Xavier''s hand, and took a step to the side, flanking Yukio, as Xavier tensed and wondered just where the hell he could run if Hisao attacked them. Sumiko quietly moved up against the building across the street, and Xavier belatedly did the same. He''d seen Hisao fight; there was no way he''d be able to siphon him before the bear had ripped his arms off. He''d only be a liability if things came to blows.


    At last Hisao sighed with disgust. ?Neko.? The way he said it, the word sounded like a curse word. ?I don''t have time for this.? He leaned toward Yukio. ?Don''t come back.?


    As Hisao loped off down a side street into the dark, Yukio let out a sound that was practically a mew of distress.


    ?So you didn''t tell Hisao-san,? said Sumiko quietly. ?Idiot.?


    Yukio for once didn''t have a response.


    A faint sound like hundreds of shouting voices was briefly audible before the howling that had been resounding across Henka redoubled.


    ?Run now, regret later,? grunted Kahina, and Xavier once again found his hand captured as she towed him along.


    Yukio and Sumiko followed, this time in silence.


    <hr>


    Just as Xavier was starting to wonder if he''d ever catch a full breath again, they cleared the southern border of Henka. He was definitely the weak link in this group physically. Kahina let go of his hand, and everyone dropped to a fast walk. Running on open sand in the pre-dawn twilight was a great way to break an ankle.


    Xavier didn''t even see the Sundlin soldiers until Yukio was flashing past him to plant a dagger in one of their necks. As the man fell backward and Yukio ripped his weapon free in a spray of blood, a shout went up, and everything went to hell.


    Sumiko launched herself at Xavier and brought both of them to their faces in the sand. ?Crawl,? she said, and after a breathless moment Xavier forced himself to follow her on his hands and knees while Yukio darted around them, kicking sand up into their faces.


    Nearby, Kahina dropped her pack and charged forward with a roar.


    ?Antean!? Xavier heard someone shout in a panic, and a series of lights flashed through the air over his head, leaving streaks in his vision.


    Sumiko snagged Kahina''s pack as she went by and dragged it behind her.


    "Three to the left," said Princess. "Three to the left! Call it out!"


    "Three¡ªshit!" ?Three on the left!? called Xavier. Yukio disappeared into the dark in that direction, another light streaked above Xavier from where the cat had gone, and there were several screams and shouts followed by silence.


    Xavier''s hand landed on a warm body. He swore, swallowed bile, and scrambled to catch up to Sumiko.


    As they neared where Kahina had charged off, a Sundlin soldier flew bodily over them, landing several feet beyond Xavier with an awful-sounding crack.


    ?We''re clear!? Kahina bellowed. ?Run!?


    Sumiko was upright in a flash, she pulled Xavier to his feet, and the two took off as fast as they could on the sand, half sliding backwards every step.


    Kahina loomed out of the dimness and Sumiko shoved her pack into her hand. Yukio, still deathly quiet, slipped up from the left.


    ?More will be coming,? said Kahina. ?We need to move as fast as we can.? She grabbed Xavier''s shoulder and he felt an unusually strong rush of Vigor as Kahina sighed in relief. ?Sumiko-san, guide Zabi-san. His eyesight isn''t as strong. Yukio-san, scout the perimeter. Zabi-san, the mononoke detected those three flanking us? Call out again if it senses anything else.?


    Yukio spoke up for the first time since their brief encounter with Hisao. ?Fifteen minutes. If we go much longer than that without orienting ourselves properly we''ll be in trouble.?


    ?Good. I''ll keep a count and call the stop. Move everyone. And Zabi-san, stay as quiet as you can.?


    The four of them frantically took off through the desert, shouts pursuing them from behind.

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    Styx: 019


    Xavier had forgotten how much he hated walking through the desert. At least this time, he wasn''t in his pajamas, but the unrelenting heat coupled with the sand''s ability to make its way into every possible nook and cranny led to a persistent feeling of low-level misery.


    Fortunately, there were no signs of pursuit from the Sundlin army, so after their frantic travel throughout the early part of the first day they were able to relax their pace and spend an uncomfortably hot couple of hours dozing under a quick canvas shelter that Yukio threw up during the hottest part of the day. Yukio rousted them at last, and they continued southward into the cooler evening. As the sun dropped below the horizon, Kahina and Yukio began discussing their route.


    ?Normally to reach the Confederacy we would want to travel down the Keikoku until we got to the river. I imagine that''s how you reached Henka, right??


    Kahina nodded. ?Yes. I visited a few other towns initially, but they all agreed the bakuhito in Henka were more likely to help me, so I joined a merchant caravan and traveled with them. Have you traveled south of Henka outside the valley??


    ?Yes, although we rarely needed to hunt youkai more than about ten days out. Fortunately, we have a few days'' worth of water; I have to admit, you Anteans are handy to have around. Even so, the first stint is going to be the roughest for us, especially since there''s so few of us and we''re lightly armed.?


    ?Our lack of weapons is an issue??


    ?It might be. See, we can subsist on the water we can draw from dew traps and plants for a bit, but we have to refill our supply at least once before we''re in range of another township. There''s an oasis almost dead south of Henka, but it''s small and crazy easy to miss. The only way to find it reliably that I know of is to follow the Mukade Cliffs, but that''s a hotbed for centipede youkai so it''s a balancing act: stay close enough to the cliffs that you can follow them to the oasis, but not so close that you get swarmed.?


    ?Hence our lack of weaponry being a potential issue.?


    ?Exactly. I''ve only ever been as far as the oasis twice, and we ended up needing to fight off a small horde both times.?


    ?Wonderful,? grumbled Sumiko. ?Swarming centipede youkai sounds delightful.?


    Xavier piped up. ?Why haven''t those cliffs been cleared? If they''re close to Henka, wouldn''t that have been something you and the other fighters should have taken care of, Yukio-san??


    ?If the ocean were a youkai, would you fight it?? said Yukio. ?There have been a few efforts to subjugate the Mukade Cliffs, but the last one was years before my time and the squad never came back.?


    ?Those cliffs are the home of the Oumukade,? said Sumiko. ?At this point, the best way to deal with it is probably just to avoid feeding it.?


    ?Oumukade?? questioned Kahina. ?I haven''t heard the story behind that one. Would you tell it??


    ?It''s as good a way to pass the time as any, I suppose,? said Sumiko, and began.


    <hr>


    Long ago there lived a man who was jealous of his neighbor''s success. When his business faltered, that of his neighbor thrived. When he courted the woman who lived across the street, his neighbor married her. When the rain fell on his house, the sun shone on his neighbor''s.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    As the months and years passed, he grew more and more bitter and angry, for every success of his neighbor''s seemed to come at his detriment.


    Now it so happened that a traveling curios merchant visited their village. Rebuffed by the man''s neighbor, the merchant was welcomed by the man who discovered that among his wares he had a rare and dangerous live centipede. Noting the man''s interest, the merchant waxed poetic about the centipede''s virtues: it''s paralytic venom, voracious appetite, and horrifying speed.


    And why did the merchant carry such a deadly animal with him?


    Why, because in the land of its origin it was considered a delicacy, for despite being venomous in its own right, human saliva in turn was to this insect a deadly poison that would melt away its carapace and render it defenseless. Properly prepared, these centipedes were considered one of the greatest delicacies in their country of origin, sought after far and wide by the rich and the brave. Sadly, though the merchant had gone to great trouble to procure one, no one in this country was willing to buy it.


    The man hemmed and hawed, and bargained the merchant''s price down. An hour later the merchant left with a heavier purse, and the man was left with a poisonous centipede and the resolve to kill his neighbor.


    His neighbor''s wife being away with family that evening, the man lost no time in slipping the centipede through the shutters of his neighbor''s window that night and the insect, half mad with hunger, disappeared into the darkness.


    The next day, the man''s neighbor failed to emerge from his home, and the man spent the day gloating over his cleverness and anticipating the reversal of his fortunes.


    The day after that, the woman he had once thought to marry returned, went inside her house, and did not emerge.


    The man grew worried. He had planned to try his luck with the widow once his neighbor was dead, but could the centipede have possibly killed her, as well?


    On the third day, the centipede¡ªnow the size of a small horse¡ªburst through the door of his neighbor''s house and devoured the man along with every other inhabitant of the village it could catch.


    Far from having unnatural luck, the man''s neighbor was a life-long channeler of Vigor, and the centipede struck him down when he was just at the cusp of ascending to kami. The neighbor''s Vigor went to the insect, and as it fed on him it swiftly grew into a youkai of fearsome power.


    The blood of the slain villagers stained the cliffs upon which the village was situated red, and ever since the Oumukade has made its lair there.


    <hr>


    ?Wait, is that story true?? asked Xavier when he saw that all three of his companions appeared to be taking what had sounded like some sort of horrific fairy tale at face value.


    ?Well, no one has seen the Oumukade in a few decades, that I know of,? said Yukio with a shrug. ?But the Mukade Cliffs are definitely swarming with venomous centipedes, so it''s pretty likely it''s still there.?


    ?Princess? Have you ever heard of such a thing??


    "Eh, this Oumukade creature must have come around significantly after my time. That sort of thing wouldn''t have been left alone long enough to become a threat before¡ªwell, before. And I''m pretty sure a centipede couldn''t have grown to the size of a horse in three days without dying. But otherwise, yeah, story checks out."


    "What the hell," muttered Xavier. Were all the youkai in this world giant creepy insects? Or was he just unlucky?


    Yukio slapped Xavier on the back, making him stumble. ?Don''t worry, Zabi-kun! We won''t go any closer to the cliffs than we need in order to keep them in sight. We have enough water that we don''t have to travel too late at night when we''re near the cliffs, so it should be pretty easy to stay safe. I think.?


    ?You''re not exactly inspiring confidence,? grumbled Xavier.


    ?We''ll be fine!? said Yukio cheerfully. ?Besides, last time I ran afoul of the Mukade Cliffs I got away with barely any scars. And this time we''ve got Kahina-san along! You heard the story; we''ll just have Kahina-san hock a fat one on any giant centipedes we run across, and problem solved!?


    Xavier eyed Yukio. The sad thing was that he couldn''t tell if the cat-boy was messing with him or not. Yukio grinned back with perfect innocence until Sumiko cuffed him on the head. ?Cut it out, Yukio-kun. Zabi-kun isn''t going to be able to sleep tonight. And Kahina-san will probably flatten you if you keep being that crass about her.?


    Ah, so Yukio was screwing with him.


    ?You''re the one telling stories about giant, man-eating centipedes devouring entire towns!?


    Although Xavier wasn''t entirely certain if it was bickering or bantering, Yukio and Sumiko continued to verbally spar until Kahina at last called a halt for the night.

 Styx: 020

    Styx: 020


    Xavier trudged through the desert, anxiety gnawing at him. Having slept on it, it seemed to him that Sumiko''s story from the night before was some of the most ham-fisted foreshadowing he''d ever had the misfortune to experience. Had he miscalculated when he pushed for fleeing Henka? Granted, man-eating giant centipedes were still a step down from a genocidal army, but if he''d given it a little more thought maybe he would have realized that of course there had to be disincentives to leaving the Evil Empire to do its worst without valiantly fighting back. Then again¡­


    Ugh, indecision when he was locked into his current course wasn''t doing him any favors. He needed to find something constructive he could do to affect the situation. It was a little late in the game to try and affect the genre itself; that die was well and truly tossed and he would need to hit the next big plot marker before he could properly reassess.


    If he were the reader, what would he have advised the protagonist? Don''t get yourself transported to another world! Gee, yeah, that was helpful. You''re not alone! Talk to the people around you, you dimwit! That¡­was actually excellent advice. The first time around, he was able to escape the rom-com harem so quickly because he had the support of his family members. Obviously here his family was completely out of reach, but aside from desperately clinging to a small group of people as he tried to establish a foothold in this world, he hadn''t really opened up to anyone. Come to think, he hadn''t even had an opportunity to discuss the fact that he came from a completely different world. Which was kind of weird, now he thought about it. Granted, his first couple months were a desperate scramble for basic communication skills. He was fairly certain multiple people had tried to induce him to spill where he''d come from in the early days, although given his level of panic and inability to understand anything beyond the most basic verbs, nouns, and sentence structure he couldn''t be sure. But Sumiko had never once brought the topic up, despite being the person he had talked to the most.


    Huh. Now he was really curious what his companions would say if he told them the truth of his origins. He doubted trying to convince them they were fictional would be at all productive, but he didn''t really have any reason to keep his otherworldly status a secret.


    But he was getting off track. Trying to broach the whole "other world" topic might be really good for his long-term goal of getting back home, particularly before they reached Kahina''s Confederacy. Short-term, though, he needed to, you know, survive murderous giant centipedes. Damn it.


    Though come to think, he did have an under-utilized resource who could probably help with that.


    "So Princess," Xavier said, prompting a strange look from Sumiko ahead when he started talking in English. "What''s our game plan when a horse-sized centipede tries to eat our faces off?"


    Princess turned her petals toward Xavier from her perch on his shoulder where she''d been sunning herself. "Uh, you remember that we''re going to avoid the Mukade Cliffs, right? Also, I don''t have a face. Not sure if you''ve noticed."


    "Uh huh, and given the crazy foreshadowing Sumiko delivered last night, that''s definitely not going to work out for us."


    "Foreshadowing?"


    "What happens when you read a story where someone tells the main character about some ancient evil that used to cause trouble nearby? They run into it 100% of the time."


    "Well, I''m not a big reader, you understand, but I''ve heard a few epics in my days, and yeah that would be a valid concern if we were characters in an epic. Lucky break, though! This is reality, bub."


    If only she knew how close fiction and reality actually were¡­


    Princess stiffened, her vines tightening around Xavier''s upper arm uncomfortably. "I didn''t quite catch that. Could you maybe vocalize the thought you just had?"


    "Shit, are you reading my mind?"


    The plant-monster slapped him lightly on the cheek. "Don''t get weird on me Xavier. Of course I''m ''reading your mind,'' if you''re inclined toward massive oversimplifications; how do you think we''re able to communicate without me having, you know, vocal chords? Now run that one by me again, please."Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    Well, that was fair. And Xavier was honestly curious what a 2,000+ year-old alien plant monster might say about his predicament.


    "This is certainly reality, but my reality and that of the people around me is part of a fictional story. I''m currently stuck in an other-world fantasy plotline."


    Princess was silent for a few of Xavier''s trudging steps. "That does not align with my past observations. Reality is messy and lacking the cohesion necessary to form a compelling narrative."


    "Eh, yeah, but that''s all backstory, as far as my personal narrative is concerned. This is my third genre, and the first two both incorporated real people into circumstances that drove the story through standard genre tropes. As long as their motivations and backstory provide the semblance of what the genre needs, it doesn''t really matter if a side character cleanly fits. Backstory is mostly just implied, anyway."


    "Xavier, you have always struck me as reasonably rational for a member of a species suffering under the effects of a limbic system. So why do you believe so strongly in this nonsense?"


    "Reading my mind, eh?"


    "I have a good sense for when you are joking or dissembling, yes. Answer the question."


    Xavier shrugged, jostling Princess and making her reflexively tighten her hold on him again. "I believe it because it''s true. I read a lot of manga growing up¡ªthat''s illustrated stories¡ªand when my first story started I accidentally broke through the fourth wall and saw my life illustrated on a page. My mom and maybe other members in my family have been through the same thing, too. I don''t really understand the capabilities or limits surrounding the whole process, but my life is definitely being influenced by narrative conventions. Hell, I don''t even originate in this world, which is a trope all on its own."


    Princess shook her petals like a person shaking her head. "You being transported from another reality does align with one of my more outlandish predictions, so I will provisionally accept that as truth. However, one unbelievable occurrence does not mean your life as a whole is fictional or governed by narrative constraints."


    Xavier looked askance at the flower on his shoulder. "Who are you and what have you done with Princess? Have you always been this analytical?"


    Princess twitched her vines in gesture surprisingly reminiscent of a shrug for a creature with no shoulders. "Eh, it''s growing on me."


    Xavier groaned.


    "Man up, Xavier, a little plant pun won''t soil you," said Princess cheerfully.


    Xavier didn''t dignify that with a response. "What would convince you that our lives are in fact under the control of a narrative?"


    The mononoke gave that some thought. "I suppose if you were able to predict future events with a higher than normal success rate, that would indicate potential truth behind your claim."


    "Here''s my first prediction, then: we are going to do everything right, but we''ll still run into these centipede youkai, if not the oumukade itself because Sumiko''s story last night foreshadowed it so heavily. I''d also lay good odds that at first things will go swimmingly, and as soon as we think we''re out of the woods the centipedes will attack or something will force us into the Mukade Cliffs. So that said, what can you and I do against a bunch of evil, oversized insects?"


    "That depends a lot on how much truth there is to Sumiko''s story last night, and how large and numerous the insects are as a whole. Insectile or otherwise animalistic youkai behavior is easy to predict: they''ll head for the largest source of Vigor and try to eat it. So that means you''ll largely get ignored, because when it comes to Vigor you''re barely noticeable on a good day, and Kahina will be the most popular girl at the dance."


    Xavier was really curious why Princess knew modern terms and idioms from his world, but he opted to ignore it for the moment in favor of hashing out a survival strategy for the immediate future. "So while Kahina-san is getting swarmed, what am I doing?"


    "Depends on the size of the bug. Little ones? Squish ''em. Preferably with something that doesn''t expose your skin, since based on Sumiko''s story this brand is likely poisonous. If the human spit thing has any truth to it, you could try spitting on them, too. You never know. Weird little details like that sometimes survive in oral traditions for a reason. Or it''s just nonsense that somebody''s grandfather added when they were drunk as a skunk. Kind of fifty-fifty on that one."


    "And if they''re not little?"


    "Well, that''s actually better for you, in a way. They''ll still be fast, and they''ll be correspondingly stronger, but the bigger these things are the easier you''ll find it to predict their movement, and their ability to maneuver will be negatively impacted. So if a big bastard is going after Kahina, you slip around the side, I''ll siphon off a chunk of Vigor and stick it in that bottomless pit you call a soul, and you can do what you do best when you''re panicking."


    "You mean run like hell?"


    Princess shook her petals in the negative. "Don''t you remember what happened when we met? You break the shit out of its legs and let Kahina handle the squishing."


    ?Xavier,? said Sumiko, causing him to stop when he realized that he had drawn even with her without noticing, focused as he was on his conversation with Princess. ?Look.?


    He looked where she was pointing, and there they were, floating like a heat haze above the sand in the distance: the red rocks of the Mukade Cliffs.

 Styx: 021

    Styx: 021


    For two days, Xavier and the others traveled south with the Mukade Cliffs looming to their left. Xavier was a little disappointed that the cliffs were inhabited by murderous, oversized bugs because they looked fascinating; from this distance they appeared to be nearly sheer and colored anywhere from a burnt sienna to a deep burgundy. He wasn''t sure if the rocks were naturally so many shades of red or if it depended on the light or was a mirage caused by the heat of the intervening sand or some combination. When he watched a particular outcropping as they walked, he could have sworn that it gradually changed color over time, though at such a distance he couldn''t be sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him.


    Yukio was careful to keep the cliffs in sight while ensuring that the group never drew particularly close, which given the way the sand formed dunes and depressions that wended in unpredictable directions was more difficult than Xavier had expected.


    Everyone kept a close eye out for centipedes, but the desert was devoid of life to the point that both Yukio and Sumiko were on edge as a result. Kahina, not being a native of the Tachigare, was unruffled, and as far as Xavier knew from his previous trek from the Deadlands to Henka the lack of wildlife was normal. Yukio and Sumiko both laughed at him when he shared that little tidbit.


    <hr>


    Mid-morning of the third day, Sumiko happened to glance back and spotted several specks in the sky to the north.


    ?Yukio-kun!? she called up to him where he was surveying prospective routes from the top of the nearest dune. ?Are those birds??


    Yukio, Kahina, and Xavier all peered in the direction she was pointing. ?Shit!? exclaimed Yukio, and he partially ran and partially skid down the dune to join the rest of them. ?I can''t be sure without Tobi-san, but I think those are Sunda gliders. They aren''t moving like birds.?


    ?Sunda¡­you mean the army followed us?? said Xavier.


    ?I doubt it''s their full forces; there''s no one out this way that would necessitate a force of any size.?


    ?Except for the small party that wiped out one of their squadrons and disappeared into the night,? rumbled Kahina.


    ?¡­right, except for them.?


    ?What''s a glider?? interjected Xavier.


    ?It''s an artifact; basically a set of wings that lets Sunda scouts fly for a short time,? said Sumiko quietly.


    Kahina stared thoughtfully at the specks. ?What are our options??


    Yukio kicked the sand. ?If they are gliders, then the fact that we can see them means they''ve already seen us. Probably. If the forces on the ground have mounts of some sort, they might be moving fast enough to catch up before we get to the oasis, and I doubt we''ll be able to lose them since we have no cover to speak of. If they''ve ventured into open desert, that means it''s a larger force than what we encountered outside Henka, and they''ve got their eyes on us anyway, so an ambush is out even if they don''t wildly outnumber us.?This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ?I''m not hearing a lot of options here, Yukio-san.?


    ?We don''t have a lot of options! We were going to arrive at the oasis probably late afternoon today, which is just about perfect for our current water supply, but there''s no way we''ll be able to give them the slip before we get to a town, and at that point we''re leading Sunda right to more victims!?


    Sumiko spoke up. ?They''re following us, right? What if we get a little closer to the Mukade Cliffs??


    ?That¡ªmight actually work.? Yukio didn''t look like he was happy with the suggestion, though. ?A larger force means more Vigor, so if anyone is going to be swarmed it would be them. And if that happened, we could very likely gain enough of a lead that they wouldn''t be able to track us anymore. Depending on how far behind they are, though, we might be in serious trouble since we would need to approach the cliffs first. Getting caught between Sunda soldiers and youkai would be a real problem.?


    ?We''ve time yet,? said Kahina. ?Those gliders mean we aren''t likely to lose them, but it means we know approximately where they are, as well.?


    ?True. Alright, we''ll keep course for the oasis, but start moving closer to the cliffs. If those are Sunda gliders we can lead them into the centipedes and hopefully escape in the confusion, and if not¡­well, we''ll run the risk of running afoul of the youkai ourselves. Sound good?? The three nodded. ?Sumiko-san, will you please keep an eye on the gliders? I''m going to focus on getting us closer to the oasis and the cliffs.?


    ?Of course, Yukio-kun.?


    ?Enough planning,? said Kahina. ?Let''s move.?


    <hr>


    "Alright, I''ll concede your prediction about encountering the centipede youkai at the last possible moment looks to be accurate," said Princess as the Mukade Cliffs loomed nearer. Over the past couple hours the specks Sumiko had spotted had drawn close enough that Yukio was confident both that they were gliders, and that they were tracking the four of them. Recently, Sumiko had reported she thought she could see a plume of dust in the distance, as well, indicating their pursuit likely had mounts of some sort. "Any further predictions for me to verify?"


    "I''m not sure," said Xavier, panting slightly with the effort of their sustained force march over sand in the ever-increasing heat. "Not a lot else has stood out as likely foreshadowing recently, and I''m still not entirely sure what sub-genre we''re working with. Running south means we''ve avoided one of the most obvious isekai plotlines, because we''re not directly fighting the evil empire. I''m not sure if that will be enough to break genre, or if it will stabilize around the same thing but longer-term. The fact we''re being pressured by Sundlin soldiers means that the break wasn''t as clean as I had hoped."


    "So your decision to flee was due to your desire to break with this perceived narrative of yours?"


    "Well, at least partially. Also, I''m just really not suited to fighting, and although Henka did a lot for me I don''t feel like I owe them my life for a few months of food and shelter. I lived in a part of the world where there just wasn''t much violent conflict."


    ?If you don''t mind my asking, what are you saying?? asked Kahina. She''d been striding ahead of Xavier, but had fallen back when he started conversing with Princess. ?Are you talking to the mononoke??


    ?Uh, yes, I was talking to Princess. She speaks in¡ªuh¡ª"English" so I tend to respond the same way.?


    ?That is your native language, correct??


    ?Yeah. I don''t even know if it''s a language here. I might only be perceiving Princess'' communication in my native language because she''s doing some weird mental thing.? He pointed to Princess'' omnipresent vine tucked away over his ear.


    Kahina frowned. ?It doesn''t sound like any language I have heard in the Confederacy, at least, but I am not the most well-traveled in the Society. We can ask once we get out of this damn desert. But what¡ª?


    ?I''ve lost track of the gliders!? called Sumiko from the rear of the party. ?They were there just a minute ago, so I think they must have landed.?


    ?Shit. Yukio-san!? called Kahina. ?We need to make for the cliffs. The gliders are down.?


    "Great," said Princess, her tone communicating it was anything but great. "Get ready for squishing time."

 Styx: 022

    Styx: 022


    Xavier didn''t notice the first centipede to approach their group until Yukio leaned over and swiped his knife at the level of the sand, leaving behind two pieces of dusky red bug that convulsed once and lay still.


    "Shit!" shouted Xavier as he drew even with the carcass, instinctively pulling back. The thing was the largest bug he''d ever seen: it must have been almost as long as his arm outstretched, and its body was as thick as his wrist. Its head had fallen into the sand a few inches away and was a brighter, more orange red than the rest of its body.


    ?That was probably a scout,? said Yukio over his shoulder without dropping pace. ?This far from the cliffs, they don''t get much bigger than that, though I''ve seen a few that were about twice that size. That was only once, and only after killing a whole lot of smaller swarms, fortunately. When you have to fight one, don''t bother with the head; especially on the larger bugs it''s too heavily armored. Try to crush or cut the body just behind the head instead, and if one starts climbing you, tear it off. Those legs hurt like a bitch when they''re all gripping you, but if someone gets immobilized or bitten near a vein we could be in trouble.?


    ?Lovely,? grumbled Sumiko.


    ?On the plus side, they''re not picky about what they eat, so if you get a big one coming after you wounding it is usually enough. Just stick a hole in it or break a few legs, and the rest of the swarm will finish it off or you. Can give you some good breathing room, for that matter.?


    "I don''t think I can do this," muttered Xavier under his breath. Princess silently patted him on the head.


    Over the next hour, the group drew nearer to the cliffs, Yukio taking them towards them at an oblique angle while the dust cloud behind them drew ever larger and more pronounced. The number of centipedes gradually increased, but as Yukio had predicted they were universally smaller than the first. They were still freakishly large for bugs, but they all died fast beneath Yukio''s knife or Kahina''s feet.


    Kahina had been looking over her shoulder regularly, and finally called to Yukio, who had forged slightly ahead of the group. ?I think we need to head for the cliffs, Yukio-san. It''s hard to tell with the dunes, but I don''t think we have more than 30 minutes until the Sundlin catch up.?


    Yukio stopped and looked their way. For the first time since Xavier had met him he looked distinctly nervous. ?Nothing for it, then.? He shook himself, almost as if he was settling fur. ?Look alive, people, because things are about to get dicey.?


    ?Zabi-kun, here.? Sumiko handed him one of the knives they used for preparing food. ?This isn''t much, but just in case.?


    Xavier tried to smile, but wasn''t sure if he succeeded. ?Thanks. I guess.?


    Sumiko grinned, startling him. It was the most Yukio-like grin he''d ever seen on her face. ?We''ll come out of this fine. You''ll see.?


    "Boundless confidence from the racoon? What''s with this? But seriously, she''s right. I''ve been studying these things, and I don''t think they have very good vision. They''ve probably got sharper senses than you in some ways, but they''ll mostly be targeting prey based on Vigor, which you haven''t got. Just try to keep them off Kahina and let Sumiko and Yukio take care of the rest."If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Easy for you to say," grumbled Xavier. "The rest of us don''t get to ride around on someone''s shoulder."


    "Hey, you could always ask Kahina," said Princess.


    <hr>


    Kahina was wrong. The Sundlin soldiers didn''t come into sight for almost another hour, and by the time they did, the party was fighting for every step they took.


    Things had gone well initially. Yukio changed course to almost directly approach the cliffs, and the four of them drew into a closer huddle. The number of centipedes was indeed on the rise, but it was nothing Yukio and Kahina couldn''t handle. Sumiko was starting to get in on the bug-killing occasionally, but as Princess had predicted the bugs seemed oblivious to Xavier.


    Then they turned the corner around a dune and stumbled straight into a swarm. A sizable rock was embedded in the sand, and in front of its base were maybe fifty centipedes; not so thick on the ground that Xavier couldn''t see the sand, but it was a close thing in places. The turn was sharp enough, unfortunately, that no one in the party noticed them until Yukio was cutting down the those on the leading edge and cursing, at which point three or four of the arm-sized centipedes slithered their way out from a hollow behind the boulder and joined in on the fun.


    At long last Xavier got to fight, as well, and he didn''t like it one bit. As Yukio and Kahina focused on the biggest threats, Xavier and Sumiko were left to deal with the smaller pests. Xavier frantically stomped about, trying not to think about the crunching sensation coming from under his boots, but one of the larger ones managed to crawl up his boot and partway up his leg before Xavier tore it off him with a shriek. It was surprisingly difficult, as it gripped his pant leg with its numerous feet, but burgeoning panic allowed him to tear it free and hurl it into the larger crowd, all of which at this point were heading towards the bakuhito as fast as they could. Small red bodies swelled and fell in a veritable ocean of chitin.


    Princess whipped a vine down behind him, and he felt a small rush of Vigor as several small weights fell free that he hadn''t noticed in his preoccupation with the centipede that had been boiling up his leg.


    "You watch the front, I''ll keep your sides and pack clear," said Princess.


    "I hate this I hate this I hate this," chanted Xavier back breathlessly, and then there was no more room for talk; he had to get back to stomping.


    He tried using the knife a few times, but eventually just switched it to his left hand and ignored it. The damn centipedes were too fast, most of them were too small, and he was more likely to accidentally stab himself in the leg than do any actual damage to the bugs.


    After an interminable several minutes, Kahina flattened the last of the big centipedes, and she, Xavier, and the bakuhito broke free from the swarm, outpacing the remaining centipedes in a quick sprint across the sand. Getting out once the biggest centipedes were dead was almost anticlimactic. Yukio had been dead to rights about them not being picky about their food sources.


    As the group slowed to a walk, Xavier sheathed the knife Sumiko had given him and tucked it as best he could into the top of his pack.


    ?Ugh, that was horrible,? said Xavier to no one in particular.


    "Uh, you might want to let everyone know that it''s not over yet," said Princess, as a second swarm¡ªthis one closer to a couple hundred of centipedes¡ªroiled up in front of them.


    It wasn''t until they were battling through the fifth and largest swarm of centipedes they''d encountered yet that the soldiers finally came into sight.


    Yukio had just killed the largest centipede in the group, giving everyone a slight breather while the waves of bugs temporarily redirected toward its carcass, when Princess shouted, "Behind us!"


    Xavier threw a glance over his shoulder, and there were the soldiers at last. They were indeed mounted: a group of 10-15 humans on horses trotting as best they could over the sand.


    Kahina spotted them at the same time. ?Sundlin!?


    ?Run for the cliffs!? called Yukio. ?We need to scare up a bigger swarm if we''re going to distract them enough!?

 Styx: 023

    Styx: 023


    Surprisingly, running through the centipedes was significantly easier than fighting, and as they ran with the shouts of the soldiers ringing out behind them Xavier felt a creeping sense of dread.


    "Something''s missing," he muttered, half to himself.


    "Yeah, somewhere to put our feet up and a nice warm bath," said Princess.


    "No, I mean this isn''t dramatic enough. The centipedes are dangerous. But too small. Whittling us down. Should be crushing us."


    "So what happens next, then, if we''re in a narrative?"


    "Something¡ª" Xavier tried and mostly failed to even out his breathing. "Something big."


    ?DOWN!? screamed Sumiko, and Xavier reflexively dove for the sand, bugs be damned. One of the smaller centipedes managed to bite him on the hand, which hurt like crazy, but he barely noticed. His attention was instead captured by something shrieking over their heads with a sound like a bird of prey mixed with a jet engine as a wash of heat boiled down over him.


    "What the¡ª"


    "What a nasty artifact," commented Princess, absent-mindedly slapping a centipede away.


    Xavier began to push himself back to his feet, glancing back toward the Sundlin soldiers where the projectile¡ªor whatever it was¡ªhad come from, when there was a thumping boom that he could feel deep in his chest.


    Rock cascaded down and dust plumed up from the Mukade Cliffs ahead where the projectile had collided. This close to the cliffs, Xavier could make out a veritable rain of curled shapes amid fragments of rock¡ªwhat must have been the corpses of countless centipedes that had been invisible against the cliff''s red rocks now cascading down from the impact site.


    Back behind them, some of the Sundlin soldiers were still running their way in small groups spread out across the sand, but at least five of them were all in a clump. It looked like all of them were bracing the soldier in front, who was holding some sort of object. Xavier couldn''t make out what it was, though, thanks to distorting effects of a heat haze that shimmered between them. It must have been the artifact that Princess mentioned. It didn''t appear to be a gun, at least; the soldier''s position was wrong for that.


    As Xavier watched, the small groups of soldiers who had been sprinting forward abruptly slowed to a stop, some of them going so far as to back away.


    ?Oh shit,? said Yukio, and Xavier whirled once again.


    The top of the cliff closest to them was undulating, and as Xavier watched in horror an absolutely massive centipede head lifted up from further into the cliffs and turned their way. The head alone must have been the size of a small car, and now the top of the cliff appeared to be sprouting leg after leg after leg. Evidently the top of the cliff here hadn''t been red because that was the color of the rocks: it was red because that was the color of the chitin of the monstrosity that had been lying stretched across it.


    ?Oumukade,? breathed Sumiko from behind Xavier.


    "I doubt it," said Princess. "Sure, it''s big, but the Vigor density¡­I mean, yeah, that thing could tear us to shreds, but it''s not even a kami yet. No way it birthed this many little monsters. Though hey, Xavier, you''re two for two at this point. That definitely qualifies as ''big''."


    ?Yukio, Sumiko, Zabi!? rumbled Kahina. ?Run south, now! South!?


    As the monstrous centipede boiled down the cliff face, the two bakuhito, Antean, and human bolted southward.


    "Why look, there''s a second one!" said Princess. "Though it''s only about half the size. Ooh, those soldiers must be pissing themselves; look at them scramble! That''ll teach them to fire heavy ordnance at a nest of youkai."


    Behind them, there was another shriek, followed by a much quicker boom, and a shrill, inhuman scream of fury.


    "¡­or maybe not. Wow, that really pissed the big one off. If I were them, I maybe wouldn''t have aimed right at the most heavily-armored spot on its body. Oh, and uh, not sure how to break this to you, but the smaller of the two youkai evidently decided we''re a juicier target. Might want to let the others know."The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ?Second¡­youkai! Behind us!? Xavier managed.


    Kahina whipped a glance back, and her eyes widened. ?Sorry, Zabi-kun,? she grunted, and scooped him up over her left shoulder before pounding off as fast as she could.


    Being carried face down over Kahina''s shoulder was exquisitely uncomfortable, and Princess''s death grip on his hair was not helping. With a Herculean effort, Xavier managed to get both palms flat on Kahina''s back and pushed himself up slightly so he could raise his head and look behind her.


    He almost wished he hadn''t. He couldn''t make out what was happening with the biggest of the two monstrous centipedes, but the second one that Princess had mentioned was barreling towards them like a semitruck without brakes down an icy hill, sand billowing up behind it so thickly that Xavier couldn''t see much beyond the head weaving back and forth.


    That was enough, though. The thing''s head was easily as tall as his torso and about twice as wide, and the two prominent antenna that jabbed forward from its brow must have been thicker than his wrist at the base. It kept its head down as it ran, so it wasn''t much taller than Xavier''s chest, but he imagined it could rear up taller than Kahina if it wanted.


    ?How¡­far¡­away?? managed Kahina.


    Xavier counted a couple seconds in his head and eyeballed the closing distance between them and the monster. ?Ten¡ªoof¡ªseconds? Maybe??


    ?Fight in¡­five!? Kahina bellowed. ?Five! Four! Three! Two! Turn!?


    As she put action to words, Kahina bodily threw Xavier off to her left, and he lost track of what was happening in the sudden bone-jarring landing that sent him rolling across the sand, choking as it flew into his mouth and nose. He scrambled to his feet, crushing a smaller centipede as he did without even registering its presence. The slight weight of Princess was missing from his shoulder, but he saw her bright green vines thrashing in the sand a few feet away. Taking a moment to shrug his pack off, he discovered the kitchen knife Sumiko had given him was missing but had no time to worry about it. Scooping up Princess and roughly depositing her on his shoulder, he raced toward the sound of insectile hissing and yells of bakuhito.


    The centipede had evidently slammed into Kahina head-first, but amazingly she hadn''t fallen. The monster was reared back slightly, mouth biting and thrusting at Kahina but she held it just barely off herself by gripping the two stubby little arms that framed its jaws. Venom spattered her clothes, and although it was hard to tell with all the dust kicked up, it seemed to be smoking. The hissing he''d heard was coming from the centipede itself, a sound like a furious, carnivorous tea kettle five feet across.


    The monster''s legs drummed rhythmically into the sand, sending its body undulating forward and with every shove Kahina was pushed backwards slightly. Occasionally she was able to find better footing and hold firm, but it was clearly only a matter of time before the thing got lucky and she tripped and got a chunk taken out of her face or torso for her trouble. Yukio was hacking at its legs and carapace without apparent effect, and Xavier couldn''t see Sumiko at all.


    "Shit, what do I¡ª"


    Princess slapped a vine roughly against Xavier''s head, having finally found her balance. "Legs! Its legs, idiot!"


    There wasn''t time for further thought. Xavier sprinted toward the leg nearest where the thing was reared up into the air. He grabbed it in both hands, felt a rush of Vigor almost on par with what he''d felt when Princess siphoned the Sundlin artifact in Henka, and with a heave tore the leg off at its base.


    The centipede screamed and whipped its head toward Xavier so fast that Kahina lost her grip in a spray of blood from her palms as the thing''s appendages sliced their way out of her grasp. Xavier was thrown bodily off his feet when the centipede''s body collided with him, and landed on his back in the sand just in time for several legs to come knifing down around him as the monster continued to pivot.


    Yukio gave a hoarse yell, and a moment later came tumbling underneath the centipede''s head as it snapped and grabbed at him with the arms near its mouth. It twisted back his way and for a brief few seconds Yukio distracted it as he dove this way and that.


    Sumiko appeared by Xavier''s side and pulled him to his feet. ?I need to borrow the mononoke, Zabi-kun,? she said. ?Sorry.? And with a move he couldn''t even track she tore Princess off his shoulder and sprinted for the centipede, Princess''s vines whipping through the air in obvious distress.


    Xavier could only gape as Sumiko leapt bodily onto the back of the centipede, pushing off one leg as it lowered and another as it raised, and running along its weaving carapace like some sort of anthropomorphic ninja raccoon. When she reached the base of its head, she shoved Princess briefly against its carapace, hurled the mononoke back over her shoulder in Xavier''s general direction, and then reached down with both hands and tore the centipede''s head half off.


    With a furious cracking sound and a shrill scream of agony on the part of the monster, its carapace split in both directions as Sumiko pulled against the base of its head with one hand and the point where its head had formerly joined the first segment of its body with her other. She managed to stretch her arms almost fully extended before a violent convulsion threw her out of sight into the sand on the other side of the centipede.


    ?Move Zabi-kun!? Kahina''s shout brought Xavier to his senses, and with a desperate dash forward he snagged the still-thrashing Princess out of the sand for a second time and took off southward with her cradled in his arms, Vigor cascading into him from where her body was making contact.


    Within a few seconds, Xavier found himself flanked by Kahina and Yukio, although Yukio was not moving anywhere near as fast as he usually did, distracted as he was by looking around frantically.


    ?There!? Kahina exclaimed. And sure enough, Sumiko was rounding the head of the still-thrashing and screaming monster with Xavier''s pack of all things in her arms. ?Now run!?


    They ran. And the front of the cliff seemed to boil in their wake as hundreds upon hundreds of centipedes stampeded toward the dying monstrosity behind them.

 Styx: 024

    Styx: 024


    The group that arrived at the oasis south-east of the Mukade Cliffs was utterly spent. Xavier and Sumiko had both largely escaped injury, but Kahina and Yukio had suffered multiple bites from the smaller centipedes that had become inflamed as they walked. Kahina in particular was in bad shape, stumbling along the last few miles in a feverish haze to collapse where she stood when at least they made it to the oasis. Yukio being not much better, Sumiko scouted out the surroundings while Xavier struggled to fill their canteens with water.


    The oasis wasn''t much to speak of. Xavier had been under the vague assumption that an oasis necessarily included a sumptuous, clear-water pond with lush trees all around, but this one was barely more than a small, silty spring of water surrounded by clumps of low-lying underbrush. Xavier just hoped he didn''t contract some weird parasite from drinking this stuff; he''d have to ask Sumiko if they needed to boil the water or similar before drinking it.


    Sumiko returned to pronounce the surrounding area seemed quiet and safe, and after working their way through some of their dry rations and doing their best to dress Kahina''s and Yukio''s wounds the small party sprawled out on the sand and fell into unconsciousness.


    <hr>


    The next day neither Kahina nor Yukio was in any shape to travel, so Sumiko reluctantly decided to spend another day at the oasis. While the rest was nice, there was nothing to do. Xavier explored the nearby area, keeping close to the borders of the oasis, but aside from spotting a couple of lizards and some normal-sized bugs there wasn''t much to see.


    Despondent, he wandered back to the area where they had made camp, at which point Princess piped up. "I don''t think your giantess friend is doing so well. Why don''t you wander over that way? I may have a solution to your Vigor blindness."


    "Vigor blindness?" asked Xavier, as he trudged toward where Kahina lay sprawled between two of the larger bits of undergrowth in the area.


    "Yep. I''ve been trying to figure out why you''re so oblivious to the world around you, although if your story about originating in another reality is true then that explains a lot. But anyway, by all rights you should be even more Vigor-sensitive than your animal friends, and I think we can solve that hang-up with a little work. And maybe help Kahina in the process."


    Xavier knelt by Kahina. ?Kahina-san, Princess thinks we might be able to help you. Do you mind??


    Kahina just grunted in response. He tentatively felt her forehead and she was burning up.


    "I really hope you''re right about being able to help her," he muttered to Princess.


    "Let''s give it a shot," said the mononoke. "For the moment, I just need you to look at her. Can you tell where she''s been bitten?"If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    "Uh, I mean I know where a few of the bites are from last night, but how would I be able to tell where all of them are without looking under her clothes?"


    "Eh, just keep looking at her. Okay, anything? Now? No? What about now? Damn it." Princess shifted the vine she always held against his head, and wrapped another one around his forehead to come to rest near his opposite temple.


    "Princess, what are you¡ªwhoa!" Suddenly, Xavier''s vision swam. "Don''t screw with my¡ªwait, what the hell?" For a brief moment, his vision stabilized, and Xavier could see something emanating from multiple points on Kahina''s body. It wasn''t light, and it wasn''t heat haze, but it was sort of like both those things.


    "Hmm, maybe not," muttered Princess, and Xavier''s vision snapped back to normal.


    Xavier grabbed Princess''s stalk, pulling her off his shoulder so he could look her full in the flower. Her vine fell off his forehead. "What the hell did you do? Are you messing with my brain?"


    "Oh, that worked? Excellent! And that wasn''t anything that will hurt you; I shoved your internal Vigor around a little bit, but it''s perfectly safe. Well, you know, as long as I don''t do it too often or too long. Which I totally won''t, because I''m very responsible with other people''s squishy bits."


    "I don''t even¡ªfine. So what was the point of messing with my¡ªyou know what, I''m not saying that, and you shouldn''t, either."


    "Mammals," grumbled Princess. "And the point is to get you to learn to do that yourself. Now that I''ve got a sense for what we''re looking for, we can get on with the real work!"


    Over the next several hours, Xavier and Princess played a weird game of hot and cold: Xavier would try to recreate the feeling he''d had when Princess messed with his head, and she''d tell him if he was getting close or not. It was incredibly frustrating, and Xavier never was able to quite recapture the ability to see Vigor on demand, despite Princess forcefully messing with his head a couple more times to show him what he was aiming for. On the plus side, there was absolutely nothing else to do and over the course of their fruitless attempts Princess also coached him through intentionally drawing out some of the Vigor from Kahina''s numerous centipede bites.


    "Those centipedes really were tiny youkai," Princess commented at one point, as Xavier focused on drawing Vigor out of a bite faster than usual. It was a bit like sucking in his gut without using any muscles. "Normal poisons are just chemical reactions, but this one has a pretty vicious Vigor-based component driving it, as well."


    "Is that unusual?"


    "That many miniature youkai in one place like that? Yeah, that''s not normal. There''s something seriously weird about the whole area. I''m just glad we didn''t try to enter the actual cliffs. There was a huge source of Vigor somewhere in there."


    "Bigger than that monster that took out the Sundlin soldiers?"


    "That thing? I didn''t even notice it until it started moving. Lost in the background noise."


    "¡­let''s never go back there, ever," said Xavier with feeling. Nope, he wasn''t tripping any flags, not at all. No sirree.


    Eventually, Xavier finally succumbed to his budding headache and Princess let him drink some water and rest while the sun did its best to burn the life out of everything beneath it.


    <hr>


    The next day, Kahina and Yukio were feeling good enough to move, and the party set out walking. Along the way, Princess kept Xavier practicing his ability to sense Vigor.


    By the end of the day after that, Xavier was thoroughly sick of getting bossed around by a plant, but he was also able to sporadically see emanations of Vigor when he tried. Princess told him he was doing great in a tone of voice that conveyed the exact opposite, and he did his best to shrug her off his shoulder to her intense annoyance.


    At the end of the third day since setting out from the oasis, they finally found their way to the small bakuhito town of Yonaharu.

 Styx: 025

    Styx: 025


    Compared to Henka, Yonaharu was little more than an outpost in the desert: a single-well town with barely 20 buildings to its name. The party was spotted well before they arrived at the town, and by the time they passed the first building what felt like the entire population had come out to gawk at them. Unlike Henka, there were no obvious majority types of bakuhito; it was a hodge-podge of birds, a few lizards, and various mammals. Yukio immediately sought out the leader of the town¡ªa middle-aged bakuhito with floppy dog ears¡ªand after he weathered the woman''s obvious suspicion, a few urgent words sent the two indoors to share the news that the Sundlin Empire was on the move, and Henka quite possibly fallen.


    Meanwhile, Kahina made enquiries from some of the wide-eyed townsfolk, and led Sumiko and Xavier to the south-west edge of town where a run-down, low-lying dormitory served as the town''s wayhouse.


    ?Thank goodness,? sighed Sumiko as the wayhouse came into sight. ?Finally some rest in an actual¡ª?


    She was interrupted by an older man storming out of the front door of the wayhouse, muttering under his breath.


    He was the strangest person Xavier had seen in a long while. For one thing, he appeared to be human: he saw no obvious traces of bakuhito ancestry. For another, the man was absolutely festooned with devices. A pair of thick-lensed goggles perched on his forehead, one lens clear and reflective and the other matte black. His beat-up leather jacket was covered in pockets, out of which poked countless wires, carved bits of wood, even what appeared to be a medium-sized statue. Across his chest was what looked like a giant bandolier, also covered in packets and pockets out of which stuck handles, metal instruments, and what appeared to be a scroll dangling precariously off one shoulder. His hair was mostly white with a few brown streaks here and there.


    ?Cursed attention-deficit animals,? he was muttering as he stalked out of the building. ?Run off at the first sign of¡ªKahina-chan?!?


    ?Orion-sensei,? said Kahina, in evident surprise. ?What by the earth''s shoulders are you doing here??


    ?Kahina-chan?? said Sumiko under her breath.


    Kahina and Orion took no notice. ?What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I''ve just spent the last several days arguing with these hidebound ingrates to try and get someone to guide me to Henka, and suddenly here you are, not in Henka¡ªwhich, I have been assured, is across an impassable swathe of desert¡ªbut here on my doorstep.?


    Kahina flashed a wry grin. ?I just crossed an impassable swathe of desert. Why are you trying to get to Henka??If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    ?I''ve been looking for you, you ungrateful girl. The Society is calling in its members, and given everything, I didn''t trust that you''d make it back on your own.?


    ?Calling us in? Why??


    The old man¡ªOrion-san, Xavier reminder himself¡ªstared at Kahina, obviously nonplussed. ?Why¡ª? Have you been living under a rock? The Great Worm began to move a couple months back, and as best we can predict its course, it''s headed straight for the Tachigare. This whole area is in for massive upheaval, and just about everyone is either running towards it or away. That''s why I ended up in the ass-end of nowhere; the usual routes into the deep Tachigare are swarming with kami seekers.?


    ?How would I possibly have known that? Research societies and delicate analytic equipment aren''t exactly thick on the ground here.?


    ?¡ªWell, you have a point there,? said Orion gruffly. ?Now you know, though. We''ll leave tomorrow. So who are these people?? And he turned his attention to Xavier and Sumiko.


    ?Zabi-san and Sumiko-san,? said Kahina, gesturing to them in turn. ?Zabi-san has been helping me with my pain and Sumiko-san¡ªalong with a neko bakuhito named Yukio-san who will be rejoining us shortly¡ªwere guiding us south in hopes of finding a new life in the Confederacy.?


    ?Might we all be so lucky,? muttered Orion. ?I''m Kahina-chan''s senior from the Society for Progress. But what I am aching to know isn''t your names but rather what is that.? He gestured to Princess.


    "Ah,? said Xavier. He shot a look at Kahina but she just stared blandly back. Great, ball was in his court. He hadn''t planned on meeting anyone other than bakuhito and hadn''t yet figured out a good way to either hide or explain Princess''s presence. ?Um, don''t freak out, okay? This is Princess, a mononoke.?


    ?A mononoke,? said Orion flatly. ?You carry a mononoke openly on your shoulder as what, a fashion accessory? Zabi-kun¡ªit was Zabi-kun, yes?¡ªare you an idiot? Kahina-chan, is this boy an idiot? Ah, I mean he''s clearly a fine specimen of youthful integrity, and would you mind if I studied that creature??


    ?Uh, I''d have to ask her about that¡ª?


    ?Ask? You can communicate with it? Kahina-chan, I see why you brought Zabi-kun with you. He and I are going to need to have a nice long chat. I''m looking forward to it.?


    ?That all can wait, Orion-san,? said Kahina. ?We will happily leave tomorrow morning with you and you can talk to Zabi-san all you want while we walk, but for now we need to rest. We''ve had¡ªa trying few days.?


    ?Yes, yes, of course. By all means. The sooner the better.? Despite his words, Orion didn''t move at all, his gaze still keen on Princess.


    ?Orion-san,? said Sumiko softly. ?We ran afoul of a powerful youkai several days north and east of here. Would you be able to tell if it pursued us??


    ?You¡ªah, you mean a kami, my girl. The decrepit colloquialisms I''ve had to suffer on this trip¡ªbut you are correct, if it was in fact powerful I may be able to gain a reading.?


    ?It could have killed me in a single bite,? said Kahina.


    ?¡­rest well! I will go look into this youkai of yours!? And with a cheery wave, Orion headed off at a fast walk towards the north.


    ?Well done, Sumiko-san,? said Kahina softly.


    Sumiko gave a short shrug. ?I''ve met his type before. Zabi-kun, you should bathe and clean your things while you can. I believe that is a bathhouse just over there.? She pointed to a much better-maintained structure peeking around the corner of the wayhouse.


    That sounded so divine that all questions of Great Worms and societies and the sudden appearance of chauvinist old men flew straight out of his head. ?I am doing that right now!?


    ?Let them know we''ll all need the water,? said Sumiko. ?I suspect in a town this small, they are unlikely to waste any, but it can''t hurt to be sure. Enjoy!?

 Styx: 026

    Styx: 026


    Just as they''d planned the evening before, Xavier, Sumiko, Yukio, Kahina, and now Orion departed Yonaharu early the next morning. Now that they were out of the deeper part of the desert, there was an actual route to follow, albeit one that consisted of regularly placed markers rather than an actual road. Thanks to this and the lack of anything necessitating scouting, the party was able to move significantly quicker than they had previously.


    Most of the morning Xavier spent withdrawn, only occasionally making small talk with Princess who was otherwise occupied with watching Orion like a hawk. For some reason, the man put her on edge. However, after catching up with Kahina, being briefed about the Sundlin forces that had invaded the bakuhito''s territory and pursued them south, and extracting the story of their fight with the centipedes from everyone, Orion fell blithely in step with Xavier.


    ?So, boy, I''m dying to know how you ended up with a mononoke riding on your shoulder like a parrot instead of digging around in your chest cavity.?


    Well, that was a lovely image. ?Princess found her way to Henka, and I jumped on her when she tried to attack Kahina-san. After I siphoned enough Vigor off her, she came to her senses and has stuck to me ever since.?


    ?Siphoned? Princess? Vigor?? Orion looked at him blankly. ?Oh, you''ve been hanging around this yokels too long. Look, ''Vigor'' isn''t a real thing. You''re talking about nima.?


    ?Nima?? The term sounded vaguely familiar for some reason, but Xavier couldn''t place it.


    ?Yes, nima. What the barbarian animals out here call Vigor. You shouldn''t use colloquialisms like that. It''s unscientific.?


    Xavier was feeling a bit lost. He was feeling like he hadn''t ever come across half the words this Orion person liked to use. ?So what is nima, then??


    Orion gave him a hard look. ?You don''t know the word at all? Nima is the energy that ultimately makes up everything in the universe. It''s the reason the sun emits light and heat, why plants grow, and why kami are dangerous. Calling it Vigor makes it sound like some resource you harvest to bulk up your muscles, but nima is much more than that. How have you not heard the term nima before? Have you been living under a rock? You can''t have grown up in the desert; you''re not an animal.?


    ?I only learned the language recently. I am still not completely fluent.?


    ?Hmm. Well, that can wait. What''s this I hear about siphoning??Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    ?When I touch living things, I siphon off Vi¡ªI mean nima. I can''t help it; it just happens.?


    ?Is that right?? Orion dug through on of his pockets and pulled out a device that looked like an petrified, partially-sprouted flower bulb that had been sliced vertically in two. ?Hold this for a second, would you??


    Xavier glanced at Princess. "Go ahead, that thing won''t hurt you," she said, waving a vine at it.


    Xavier took it, and with the familiar feeling of a quick intake of Vigor, the thing immediately turned gray and fell into pieces, scattering across the sand at his feet. ?Ah! I''m so sorry!?


    ?What the¡ªhold still,? said Orion, stepping away from Xavier slightly and pulling his goggles down over his eyes. He turned something on the side of one, and brought yet another strange device from his pocket up which he held out halfway between himself and Xavier. This one looked like some sort of dowsing rod: two thin metal tines that met at the base in a Y shape, although Orion held it so that the base was at the side and the tines stretched sideways to frame one of the lenses of his goggles.


    After a minute, in which the rest of the party straggled to a stop to watch what was going on, Orion returned the device to his pocket and pushed his goggles back up on his head. ?Well, aren''t you just full of surprises. Kahina-chan! Did you know this Zabi-kun of yours is a null??


    ?That was the term!? said Kahina in satisfaction. ?It''s been escaping me for months.?


    ?What is null?? asked Xavier.


    ?It''s an incredibly rare disability. Most nulls die before they reach adulthood, so I''ve never met one before myself. In any case, everyone naturally generates a baseline amount of nima, assuming you''re not horrifically malnourished or something. Nulls, though, need more nima to keep their body up and running than they are able to cultivate from food and drink.?


    ?I''ve never heard of a null,? interrupted Yukio, who had walked back to them when they stopped moving.


    ?And I''ve never heard of a neko who would fight for his companions instead of laughing as they got brutally murdered by monstrous centipedes,? shot back Orion. ?Guess we''ve all heard something new today. I''m pretty sure null bakuhito never make it past infancy. You''re all such nima gluttons.?


    Yukio gave Orion an expressionless stare and twitched his tail back and forth. Orion didn''t spare him a glance.


    Xavier spoke up, uncomfortable with the combative mood that had suddenly descended. ?Orion-san, I''m really sorry I broke your device. Would you mind telling me what it was, though??


    ?That? Eh, don''t worry about it. I have another one lying around somewhere. That was a portable nima meter; it''s a passive and quick way to measure where someone lies on the nima continuum. But, uh, please don''t touch any of my artifacts without permission. I can think of a dozen ways your nima draw could be useful in a controlled lab setting, but I can''t readily replace a lot of this equipment out here in the boonies.?


    ?Your artifacts??


    ?You are something else, boy. Yes, my artifacts.? Orion gestured to the many gadgets and odds and ends poking out of his pockets. ?Don''t tell me I''m the first artificer you''ve met??


    Kahina chuckled. ?He''s been living with bakuhito, sensei. What do you think??


    Orion shook his head in dismay. ?Before we get back to the society, I''m going to have to pry you out from under that rock you''ve been living, boy. But that said, we need to pick up the pace. Daylight''s wasting.?


    "Don''t worry, there''s plenty of that to go around," grumbled Princess.

 Styx: 027 - Interlude

    Styx: 027 - Interlude


    As Xavier and party made their way south on what promised to be over a month-long trip towards the lands of the Confederacy, the Sundlin Empire''s army at last reached the edge of the Deadlands just as the sun began to set and a nima storm built in the distance.


    Malken found himself arrested by the sight, pausing midway through setting up the tent he and the acolytes would be sleeping in. He had served the Children of Man as an acolyte and then lesser priest for most of his adult life, and although he had seen some impressive feats of artifice in that time, this was his first exposure to one of the natural wonders of the world: the nima storm that gave the Deadlands their name.


    Though no one was quite sure why, the Deadlands at the center of the Tachigare Desert suffered from the worst known nima storms on the planet. Malken had heard them described in seminary, but the brittle old monk who had taught the class hadn''t remotely done them justice.


    Like the sandstorms that sometimes kicked up in the broader desert, the nima storm that was steadily building on the horizon was a mass of sand, rock, and high winds. Unlike a typical sandstorm, however, this one was driven by pure, surging nima. To Malken''s sight, it was like watching whitewater eddies in a violently surging river spread across the sky; nima surged and flowed, and even at this distance he could sense the pressure and power in the air. Word around camp was that some of the scouts who had been caught by the leading edge of the storm vanished without a trace.


    ?Fool boy!? shouted one of the elder priests, cuffing Malken''s head. Malken tore his gaze away from the fascinating, horrifying majesty of the building nima storm and did his best to school his expression into deference despite the fact that the priest had barely ten years on him. ?Stop staring at the storm and properly secure that tent! Do you want to get yourself killed??


    Malken bowed, hoping to hide his expression. ?No, Father. Of course, Father.?


    ?Good; get to it!? snapped the priest, and stalked away.


    Malken stole a final, regretful look at the storm and then forced himself back to work. He understood the reason church doctrine decried things like the nima storms of the Deadlands, but he couldn''t deny that he also understood why channelers might be tempted to seek out and brave such wonders. Seeing something so all-powerful and utterly unconcerned with human endeavors was a little like seeing a small peek of the divine.


    With a shake of his shoulders, Malken thrust his own heretical fancies to the back of his mind and leaned into his task once more.


    <hr>


    Ten miles north-east of the Sundlin army, Bafubani cursed herself for deciding to cut into the Deadlands in an attempt to catch up. She''d been so close! And then in a fit of impatience she ventured farther into the Deadlands than was probably safe, and now here she was blinded by flying sand and fighting not to let the nima raging around her tear her apart. Her long rabbit ears¡ªthe most obvious part of her bakuhito heritage¡ªwere plastered back against her skull as she fought her way through the sand and wind. And this was just the edge of the storm; what the hell was wrong with this part of the desert anyway? The closer she got to her goal, the more it seemed like the desert itself was trying to kill her. Youkai and dehydration and nima storms¡­she''d ask herself what could possibly go wrong next, but she was desperately worried that there wouldn''t be a next.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Damn it damn it damn it damn it!


    On the plus side, all this free-flowing nima did make some things easier. A ripple in the nima around her alerted her at the last second, and she desperately swung the oversized battlehammer that she''d been dragging through the sand behind her in an arc. With a resounding CRACK the head of the hammer collided with a rock the size of her chest and sent it spinning away to disappear in the swirling dust. That one would have certainly left a mark. Or possibly a hole where her chest once was.


    Dropping the hammer back into the sand, Bafubani trudged onward. If she survived this, she was never going against Mani''s advice again.


    And then it finally happened: the suffocating sand, the battering of the nima, the constant stress and fear built to the point that she stumbled and just as the hammer slipped out of her grasp she felt the telltale ripple through the nima around her that heralded another incoming rock. As Bafubani desperately threw herself backward in an attempt to dodge the deadly projectile everything seemed to stop for one perilous moment¡­and then the nima that had been violently cascading around her sucked inward toward the interior of the Deadlands, disappearing so fast that Bafubani was pulled completely off balance and landed on her face. Around her sand and small rocks cascaded down, pelting her back as the wind died completely.


    Bafubani pushed herself painfully up, groped around until she found the handle of her hammer, and used it to lever herself to her feet. The desert was as still as if the nima storm had never been.


    What by her seven great ancestors just happened?


    <hr>


    In the very middle of the Deadlands, at the top of one of the ever-shifting dunes, the air rippled and flexed as if in a localized heat haze. Nima spiraled and tore through the sky, seeming to be sucked down to a single point at the center of the haze.


    As moments passed, the amount of nima in the surroundings dropped precipitously and grew ever more concentrated above the dune. The distortion in the air warped, bent, collapsed¡­and with a whumpf the remaining nima shot inwards so fast that some of it bled off as a flash of visible light and sent dust cascading upwards in a shower that obscured the point of impact completely.


    When the dust fell, pattering onto the surrounding dunes like a parched rain, it revealed the strange haze and excess of nima had vanished. In its place was an oddity: a mattress, dressed with white sheets containing a light blue floral print, within whose covers slept a girl, her blonde hair scattered across the pillow and one arm thrown above her head.


    <hr>


    As Xavier bedded down the for the night, Princess spoke up. "You know, boy-o, I''ve been thinking about what you said about coming from another world and I''m still a little skeptical. I don''t think you can actually prove that one unless someone else from your world crosses over to back up your story. Any chance of that happening in this grand story you''re convinced you''re stuck in?"


    He gave it some thought. "Well, having a classmate or something show up in the same world is a pretty standard plot twist, I suppose. But no, I doubt that would ever happen."


    "Yeah," said Princess. "What would be the odds? Guess we''ll have to find some other way for you to prove your origins."

 Styx: 028

    Styx: 028


    As she had so many times over the years, Rachel awoke in an unfamiliar place.


    This was admittedly the first time she woke up in the middle of a desert, though.


    She sat up in bed, covers clutched around herself to ward off the chill of the early morning, and excitement and fear coursed through her in equal measure. "It worked," she breathed. "I can''t believe it actually worked." She hesitated for a moment, pinched herself hard, paused, and finally shrugged. Well, no time like the present. She and the Brock family had been preparing for this for over two months, and now it was time to see if their predictions were accurate.


    Rachel yanked the comforter up and out from where it was tucked under the mattress, sending sand scattering across the top of the dune. Cinching it awkwardly around herself, she crawled to the foot of the bed and pulled the rest of the covers aside. Underneath was a folded set of clothing, a pair of jackets of different weights, and a canvas flap that wrapped completely around the foot of the mattress.


    After a bit of shuffling to get herself out of her pajamas and into her clothes without leaving the protection of her comforter, Rachel put on the warmer of the two jackets and stepped off the bed. A twist at the string holding the canvas flap tight against a button on the mattress, and she started pulling out supplies. First a pair of sturdy boots, which she immediately donned. Next came a large knife in a sheath that she threaded onto the belt that followed after it before strapping it around her waist. Finally, with grunts of exertion and a few muttered profanities she succeeded in pulling a full backpack from out of the mattress.


    At this point the bottom half of the mattress was looking rather sad and saggy. Rachel rummaged around in the backpack and pulled out a flashlight which she aimed into the guts of the mattress as she slid its button into the "on" position.


    Nothing happened. She pointed the flashlight at her face and slid the button back and forth several times to no avail. "Well that''s not good," she muttered as she replaced the flashlight in the backpack. She had double-tested the batteries before packing it, so the failure was due to something unpredictable. Setting the backpack aside on the sand, she crouched down and peered into the mattress as best she could, leaning from side to side to get a better view in the dim, pre-dawn light.


    Finally she stood, brushing the sand off her knees. "I guess I didn''t miss anything." As she turned towards the backpack to pick it up, the sand around her spasmed.


    Rachel fell forward onto the bottom half of the mattress, its frame colliding with her diaphragm and driving the air from her lungs before the dune bucked again and she was tossed breathless off the mattress entirely. Her backpack tumbled down as the sand collapsed underneath it, and Rachel forced herself to roll over and lunge for it. Her fingers just brushed the strap before it vanished out of sight.


    Desperate and gasping, Rachel scrambled on her hands and knees backwards, trying to avoid following the backpack into what was quickly becoming a yawning pit.


    She would have made it to the crest of the dune, if the mattress hadn''t slid into her from behind just as another great lurch from the earth tossed everything slightly into the air.


    For a few moments everything was tumbling confusion as Rachel half rolled and half slid down the ever-steepening ramp of sand. She desperately grabbed at the earth but found nothing to halt her descent: only cascades of sand that fell with her in a choking cloud.


    Before she reached the bottom, another violent shudder rippled through the earth and Rachel found herself suddenly in free-fall, unable to see anything through the waves of sand pelting down around her.


    A scream ripped its way out of her throat as she desperately tried to brace for impact, but the impact when it came was swift and utterly unexpected. She landed face first on something soft enough to absorb her momentum without harming her, but which quickly hardened as she lay sprawled and gasping on its surface.


    Stranger still, it was rising quickly, leaving Rachel''s stomach behind. Not having any better options, she hung on as best she could and shut her eyes against the grit in the air.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    A few seconds later, the motion eased, then ceased, the last grains of sand pattering around her and sliding off whatever she was lying on with a gentle susurration. Gingerly, Rachel sat up, squinting in the sudden brightness; evidently the sun had at last crested the horizon.


    What on earth was she standing on? It wasn''t quite flat, but wasn''t so rounded she had trouble staying in place and it was covered in¡­were those scales? Christ, they might be wider than she was tall, and they not only covered the area she was resting on, but there were further huge humps and dips of monstrously scaled flesh surrounding her on all sides. Ooooh no. Oh no oh no. Oh she did not want to turn around.


    Rachel took a shaky breath and forced herself to stand up and pivot in place.


    She didn''t quite scream, but she couldn''t help the slight whimper that escaped her lips.


    Directly behind her was the vertically-slitted eye of a dragon or snake so large she could have climbed through its pupil with room to spare. Its coils¡ªone of which she was now standing on¡ªcompletely obscured the surrounding desert. Its head was so large that this close she wasn''t able to properly see it; mostly she could just see the thing''s eye with any details from the rest of its head lost in her peripheral vision.


    Seconds stretched toward a minute as the eye stared unblinkingly at Rachel, and Rachel stared back. She was at a loss for what to do. Although she wasn''t particularly worried about the thing trying to eat her¡ªit was so much larger she didn''t think it could even get her into its mouth¡ªif it shifted even a little bit, she was liable to fall and suffer serious injury. Its scales might be huge, but they were still incredibly tightly interwoven, and the thing''s coils pressed closely enough against one another that if she got an arm or leg trapped there and the creature shifted the limb would be crushed or torn straight off. Plus, she was frankly unsure how far off the ground she was at this point.


    On the positive side, although she might be having trouble not hyperventilating, this bizarre situation was at least within the realm of one of Bill Brock''s predictions. Now if only she could remember what it was he''d recommended she do if she was greeted by a non-human being of unimaginable power. She was having a little trouble forming coherent thoughts at the moment¡­


    <hr>


    When Xavier, his mattress, and all his bedding disappeared overnight, leaving a bare bed frame, the Brock family had a good idea what had happened, and Hana and Bill didn''t hesitate to share with Rachel, their long-term resident; after all, it wasn''t as if they could pretend Xavier had gone on a sudden trip or something, taking his mattress with him.


    "I''d hoped we were done with this," Bill had said, tears in his eyes and his hands gripping Hana, who looked as if she''d been carved out of stone. "Xavier escaped two genres already! Damn it!"


    "Where do you think¡ªI mean, do you know what genre he''s likely stuck in now?" Rachel had asked.


    "Isekai," Bill answered. His fingers on Hana''s shoulders were turning white. "It has to be isekai. I made some calls, and the Labyrinth isn''t¡ªin any case, that sort of spontaneous disappearance almost certainly means isekai. Plus it''s a popular genre these days."


    "Isekai?" Rachel had asked, looking to Hana in hopes to draw her out.


    Bill answered her. "Other world stuff, usually fantasy." He looked with concern at his wife. "I''m sorry, Rachel, but could you give us a bit of time? Alone?"


    She''d agreed to that easily enough, and quietly slid out of the room to go stare at Xavier''s empty bed frame.


    Later, when she''d informed them she wanted to try and go after him, getting an agreement was anything but easy. Arguing with Bill was terrifying, but ultimately worth it when the row snapped Hana out of whatever dark place she had withdrawn into. That, at least, had gone according to Rachel''s plans.


    She hadn''t anticipated that Hana would argue her side, though.


    Over two months of planning and training later, she''d laid down to sleep on a new, specially-modified mattress in Xavier''s room and woken the next morning exactly where she''d started. After a week of similar nights, everyone was starting to get discouraged about her chances, but she''d opted to try it one more time¡­and woken up surrounded by sand.


    <hr>


    Minutes had passed, and the giant dragon-snake-thing hadn''t moved at all. It was so still Rachel was beginning to wonder if it was alive at all, or some sort of magical¡ªsomething. Her imagination sadly failed her on that point.


    "Hello?" she finally called up to it. "Can you understand me?"


    The monster remained perfectly still, except for its eye which rolled abruptly downward as if it was looking at its own scales and then back up to Rachel. It repeated this again, and then once more.


    "Uh. Are you saying yes? You do understand?"


    The eye remained unmoving. Well, that wasn''t very helpful.


    "I think I''m going to climb down, if you don''t mind." Rachel pointed down along the thing''s coiled body.


    The eye didn''t move. She cautiously side-stepped, keeping her focus on the thing''s head and as she did so it shifted ever-so-slightly to keep its eye lined up with her. However, the movement of its head translated down through the rest of its body, and Rachel stumbled; even small movements for this behemoth translated into large shifts from her perspective. She caught herself as she fell, with her hand pressed against the scale she''d been standing on.


    Hello, little empty one, she thought. But it wasn''t her thought. She looked up in panic in time to see the pupil of the eye near her flare wider with some incomprehensible emotion.


    "Well, shit." Moving slowly and heart pounding, she placed both palms flat against the thing''s body. "Can you understand me now?"


    Indeeeed, she hissed internally to herself. Will you listen to a proposition, little one?

 Styx: 029

    Styx: 029


    "Here''s every isekai I own that has a girl the protagonist knows transported to the same world." Bill Brock and Rachel were in the library¡ªwhich all of the Brocks called the Lab¡ªand he patted a stack of manga volumes. "Now, if I remember correctly you helped Xavier break the harem back in your sophomore year, right? Good, that means your back story is conducive to a romantic relationship, so we can pretty easily map out your likely trajectory if you get pulled into the isekai.


    "The vast majority of these series present the main character as disadvantaged, even when they''re actually absurdly overpowered. When they include a female foil, she usually contrasts the male MC''s situation by being gifted or provided lots of support. Since you won''t be showing up at the same time, barring time hijinks, that means that you''ll likely be routed to a different geographic location somehow. Nothing we can do about that, of course; you''ll have to play it by ear."


    "What kind of support am I likely to receive?"


    Bill shrugged. "It varies widely. Some common examples are receiving magical equipment, the backing of a powerful political power, innate martial or magical talents, the blessing of a god, absurdly good stats compared to your peers, or some combination. Hmm, I suppose there''s an outside chance you might make some sort of contract with a powerful magical creature, but that''s usually the protagonist''s prerogative."


    "And what''s your advice if I get offered one or more of those things?"


    "Take all the support you can get, but make sure you understand the strings attached first. The typical trajectory here is that the romantic interest gets embroiled in some shady business over her head and is eventually rescued by the protagonist. If you go along with the plot initially, that actually might make it easier to find him, because it will be very likely that he''s working on behalf of some enemy country."


    Accept all the support she was offered. Right. Except Bill''s "outside chance" turned out to be an absurdly big, telepathic snake. Or dragon-thing. She still wasn''t entirely sure.


    <hr>


    "What exactly is it that you want?" asked Rachel, hands still pressed to the scale beneath her.


    You have a yawning emptiness within, she thought to herself. God, that was not getting any less creepy with repetition. You must consume nima in great quantities, or die. I wish to fill that hole.


    "What on earth does that mean?"


    Consume me. Let me fill that hole within you, and you will be able to interact with the world like a native of this reality instead of being handicapped by your inability to touch nima.


    Aside from the whole consumption thing, that didn''t sound so bad. "Why would you want to be¡­consumed?"


    I have grown too large. I had resigned myself to slowly becoming one with the earth until eighty six turns ago when I sensed the existence of an empty one like yourself. I came as fast as I could, but now opportunity strikes fresh.


    "And if I don''t accept?"


    You may go your way. I will not harm you one way or the other.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    Well, this certainly sounded like Bill''s contract with a magical creature, but there had to be something she was overlooking. Aside from the fact that she didn''t understand what this emptiness or nima or anything really was.


    "If I do this, will I still be myself? Will I be able to go home?"


    You ask good questions, little one. And yes, you will be yourself. You will simply have me as a¡­passenger, of sorts. Should you wish to tear the veil back open and pass through to your original reality, I am perhaps the only living being who might assist you. All I ask is that you spend some time in my world. I wish to taste freedom again.


    "Freedom while trapped inside a tiny creature?"


    Freedom to be something other than kami. Now, little one, I do not wish to stay on the surface if you are to reject my offer. What say you?


    Rachel froze in indecision. All of her instincts were demanding that she refuse. She had no way to verify what the creature was telling her, no way to hold it to its promises, nothing but the shaky predictions of someone an entire reality away that whatever she discovered when she passed¡ªthrough the veil, as the snake put it¡ªwould be there explicitly to grant her power.


    On the other hand¡­she hadn''t missed the fact that the snake was clearly looking for Xavier. Looking, and failing to find. Perhaps this powerup was originally intended for Xavier, but in typical Xavier fashion he intentionally avoided obvious examples of plot simply because he hated playing nice with the genre.


    That actually made a scary amount of sense. And where Xavier always insisted on going his own way, Rachel had years and years of practice at accepting frightening new things simply because she had no good alternatives. What would making some sort of vaguely-defined contract with a giant, obviously magical snake monster do for her?


    She''d just have to find out.


    "I agree."


    The words had barely left her mouth when a shudder passed through the snake that jolted Rachel almost off its back. Yeeeeeeeesssssss! she thought to herself, and then she felt a rush of something like heat or water or electrical shock and Rachel knew no more.


    <hr>


    In the dark of her mind, Rachel dreamed snake dreams.


    She was one of the last surviving recognizable descendants of the monstrous boas that stalked the jungles in ages past, and she was captured as a youngling by a tribe of the hominids who so recently had begun spreading far and wide. They fed her mammals of increasing size, and worshipped her as a god. She grew four times as long as a they were tall and spent the bulk of her time sunning herself in the enclosure where she was confined. When food grew scarce they provided offerings of nima and through trial and error she discovered she could metabolize it. In the lean times, when more hominids died than were born, she discovered she could sense the nima around her, even when it was not freely offered.


    Then the ice descended, and her easy life ended. Fleeing after the warmth and nima she could sense just beyond the horizon, she came across a chain of mountains she had no hope of crossing and turned her attention to the smaller snakes that could still successfully kept themselves fed and needed less warmth to avoid falling into a stupor.


    She was a viper, ambushing small mammals, biting them, and then following their trail as they fled until her poison did its work. The world was a thing of movement and heat, and she followed both through the nights.


    She was a cobra, languidly sunning itself. Perhaps when she was hungry she would follow the nearby scent trail of another snake and eat it, but for now she was content to catch up on years'' worth of missing heat. Sensing a tremor through the ground, she reared up, hood spread, growling in sudden alarm. The human that had been approaching her froze as her shadow snapped out across its body and slowly backed away.


    She was a python, coiled high in the branches of a tree that shadowed the earth for a day''s walk in any direction. With the rising temperatures and years of life she had grown to be many times the size of the humans who now flocked the earth, and while some once more worshipped her, none of them dared try to confine her.


    The shelter of the tree was gone, and she was too large for any meal to truly satisfy. Seeking the nima that was her only viable source of sustenance, she passed down through the rock until she discovered the molten core of the world where she basked in luxurious warmth, emerging only occasionally when she sensed something that drew her interest. As the years passed, she was able to spend less and less time away from the raging nima in the world''s core, driven back down through rock each time by ravenous hunger.


    A tremor reached her, and in response to ancient instincts not her own, Rachel woke up.

 Styx: 030

    Styx: 030


    Rachel awoke lying face down in the sand. She groaned, started coughing as grit invaded her mouth and nose, and rolled over onto her side. As the coughing fit finally eased, she pushed herself up to sitting and looked around. "What the hell?"


    She was in a depression in the desert that was so deep and wide that where she lay at the very bottom center it was still in shade. There was no trace of the giant snake. With a groan, she pushed herself up to her feet, which left her swaying and dizzy. "Ugh, I feel like shit." She held up her hands, turning them over from palm to back in brief repetition as she flexed her fingers. They looked weird to her for some reason, although she couldn''t remember them ever looking any different. Light skin, faint blonde hairs, five fingers each. But still, it was strange.


    How long had she been lying here, anyway? She was dying for water, but it was mainly thanks to the sand that had managed to invade her esophagus. She didn''t think she''d been unconscious more than maybe an hour or two tops. Unfortunately, although she looked around there was no sign of her backpack or even the mattress. Just featureless, smooth sand everywhere she could see.


    Ugh, climbing out of this depression or sinkhole or whatever it was promised to be a nightmare. The edges were far enough away that the sand where she stood was almost flat, but near the top it curved at a pretty steep angle. She eyed the sun creeping down the far slope. Given the complete lack of cover, she doubted she could stay here.


    Well, nothing for it. She closed her eyes, staggered around in an imitation of a spin¡ªstill didn''t quite have her balance back, damn it, and she didn''t remember the sand at the top of the dune before the snake showed up sliding around so much¡ªand when she opened her eyes she was facing the darkened side of the depression at an angle. Assuming the sun rose in the east in this world, she was looking north-east.


    Carefully, trying not to stumble, she rotated until she was facing the exact opposite direction and began hiking toward the edge of the depression. If Bill was right, random chance was likely to send her in the opposite direction from Xavier and that seemed like a pointless waste of time to her.


    As she walked, Rachel tried to figure out what had happened to her. The snake seemed to have been telling the truth, at least. Aside from dizziness and weird body dissociation she''d suffered on waking, along with the fragments of strange dreams that still lurked in the back of her head, she was the same as normal, as far as she could tell. The huge snake had obviously gone somewhere, though, so maybe it was inside her in some capacity? That seemed impossible. The depression she was stuck trekking across had clearly been made by its body, and it was enormous. There was no way that much matter was somehow squeezed into her short frame.


    "Hello, snake?" she said out loud. "Are you still there?"Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    No response. Ah well, it was worth a try.


    Something tugged at her attention, and she looked sharply up in time to see an object hurtle into the sky over the lip of the depression, bend a parabolic path through the air, and come slamming down in a plume of sand about three quarters down the slope. Rachel stopped for a moment, warily watching as the sand fell back to earth to reveal a person struggling to extricate themselves from where they appeared to be buried chest-deep in the ground.


    A person with¡ªwere those bunny ears?


    Well, that helped solidify the genre for her, at least. Figuring any rabbit person¡ªespecially a rabbit person who was humorously floundering¡ªwas bound to be helpful, Rachel adjusted her course and started struggling their way.


    After what felt like a short eternity fighting her way through the loose sand, sliding one step backwards for every two forward, Rachel finally drew close enough to the rabbit person to be heard. After it became clear that they weren''t getting out any time soon and that she was headed their way, they''d finally stopped flailing around and waited with a distinctly impatient-looking cant to the two big ears sticking up out of their hair.


    ?Hello there, stranger!? called the rabbit person.


    Rachel stopped dead. The sounds she was hearing¡ªshe clearly didn''t know this person''s language. But despite not recognizing the sounds at all, she understood them. So¡­that was kind of freaky. Could they understand her, as well?


    ?Hello!? Rachel called, and slapped a hand to her mouth. She didn''t recognize those sounds, either. What the hell was going on? There was no way that she should be able to understand and speak a language without learning it, right? Sure, that sort of thing happened a lot in the isekai Bill had encouraged her to read, but there it was clearly just hand-waving to get the story moving.


    The bunny person either didn''t notice her discomfort at this distance, or just didn''t care. ?Mind helping me out? The sand was a lot looser and lower down than I was expecting when I jumped.?


    ?Uh¡­sure, not a problem,? Rachel yelled, and forced herself to keep moving forward. Come to think, the snake had somehow talked directly to her mind when she''d made physical contact. Did she inherit some of its skills or something? She supposed she shouldn''t look a gift snake in the mouth, but still¡­having sounds she didn''t recognize but did understand coming out of her mouth was severely freaky. "Snake?" she muttered under her breath. Well, at least that was English. Still no indication from the snake that it was around, though.


    As Rachel drew within a few steps of the rabbit person, they waved their one exposed arm downslope. ?If you could just help dig out the sand in front of me, I think I can slide myself out.?


    ?Sure.? A gritty, thirsty time later the rabbit person successfully tore themselves out of the sand, dragging an absolutely massive hammer behind them and setting off a minor sand avalanche down the slope that pushed Rachel several feet back before she found her footing and got her first look at the newcomer.


    The woman¡ªnow that she was out of the sand it was obvious she was a woman¡ªwas a little taller than Rachel, had thin, off-white rabbit ears sprouting out of her light gray-ish hair, and was absolutely stacked. This was very obvious, because underneath her ankle-length robe she wasn''t wearing much in the way of clothes. Just a wrap around her chest and a sort of shorts-skirt-kilt-ish thing around her waist. And then there was that hammer¡­Rachel stared, flummoxed.


    ?Thank you for helping me,? the bunny woman said, offering a shallow bow before she dragging the hammer around in an arc, laid both hands on its handle, and crouched down as if she were ready to swing it. ?Now what the hell are you??

 Styx: 031

    Styx: 031


    Rachel went still. ?What do you mean? I''m a human.?


    The bunny woman''s eyes narrowed. ?I''ve met humans. They may make the occasional flashy nima display with their fancy toys now and again, but nothing like what happened here. Whatever you did had to have been felt halfway around the world. Drawing off the nima storm last night was unnerving, but it saved my bacon and I could accept it might be just a weird phenomenon of the Deadlands. But the amount of nima I felt this morning, and then it just disappears? And in its place is a human girl? That had to have been several orders of magnitude more nima than were in the nima storm. You could destroy a small country with that. So what are you??


    Snake? Rachel thought to herself. You in there? Nothing. Well, she guessed there wasn''t any harm in telling the bunny lady about it. Plus she''d rather not be on the receiving end of that massive hammer. ?Maybe you were sensing the snake? There was a ridiculously large snake here until recently.?


    The woman''s eyes widened. ?The world snake was here?! Where did it go??


    ?Um.? Rachel wondered desperately if she could get out of range if she just threw herself backward and trusted to the loose sand to keep her momentum going. Though given how the bunny woman jumped into the depression, that might not be helpful in anything other than the immediate short term. ?Uh, I guess I might have kind of eaten it??


    ?What?!? shrieked the woman, crouching and tensing as if she were about to attack.


    ?No no no, wait wait! I don''t think that was the right word! Look, the snake asked me to, and I don''t really understand it, but I guess maybe I absorbed it or something? It said that I had a, uh, hole inside me? That I''d need ridiculous amounts of¡ªnima? Is that the right word? I don''t really understand, but the snake said it would be a passenger, I think.?


    ?So you''re hosting the world snake,? said the rabbit woman, in a tone of voice that clearly communicated she didn''t believe a word of it. ?Right. If that''s true, then you''re clearly dangerous. I''m really sorry but¡ª?


    ?I helped you!? yelled Rachel, scrambling backwards as the bunny lady tensed to swing.


    Ahhhh, sighed a voice from deep in her psyche. I think I have your basic pattern memorized. Please do not be alarmed while I deal with this nuisance.


    Without her volition, Rachel straightened up and her vision suddenly shifted, color leaching from the world even as the sunlight brightened and the details around her jumped to a shocking level of clarity. She could practically count the individual hairs on the bunny lady''s ears.


    ?I am here, prey. You wish to challenge us?? Oookay, so having words come out of her mouth that she didn''t say herself was way more freaky than having a giant snake communicate with her thoughts.


    It was evidently discombobulating to the bunny lady, as well, because she let go of her hammer and launched herself backward in an awkward jump, barely managing to right herself as she skidded to a landing in the soft sand further up the slope.


    Bear with me, young one, said the snake inside her head. Are you alright? Your pulse is rapid.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    "Yes," Rachel breathed, and felt an absurd rush of relief that it came out of her mouth. "I wasn''t expecting you to¡­take control of my body like that."


    Such things are not, hmmm, advisable very often, admitted the snake. But I will keep us safe, if you are willing.


    Rachel steeled herself. In for a penny, in for a pound, she supposed. "Please."


    Rachel advanced forward, an unfamiliar sway in her step. The bunny lady was crouched uphill, ears straight up in the air and her visible fur standing on end. She looked utterly panicked. Rachel stopped perhaps fifteen feet away, although she realized with some disquiet that she could sense the rabbit woman was well within her striking distance. She wasn''t entirely sure how she knew that.


    ?We might be good companions to one another, rabbit. But if you threaten us, know this: to me, you are prey.? Without warning, Rachel''s vision shifted once more, color streaming in as the little details faded to insignificance. The abrupt change made her stumble slightly, blinking.


    The rabbit woman might as well have been made from stone. ?Is the world snake gone??


    Rachel quirked her head. ?Um¡­? Snake? she thought.


    I am here. Pardon my earlier silence; my attention was diverted.


    ?No,? said Rachel, with a surprising rush of relief given how scary having her body controlled by something else had been. ?But I''m the one talking to you at the moment. Um, I don''t think the snake likes it much when you threaten me. Us.?


    ?¡­I gathered that.? The rabbit woman shifted her weight. ?I¡ªdo you mind if I retrieve my hammer??


    ?Oh! Sure! Just, um, please don''t swing it at me.?


    ?¡­no. No, I won''t do that.?


    Rather than jumping, as Rachel halfway expected her to do, the bunny lady slogged her way through the sand, giving Rachel a wide berth on her way back down to grab her hammer. When she had retrieved it, she dragged it back up the slope with her, stopping a good ten feet away from Rachel and leaning against the handle with the head of the hammer in the sand at her feet.


    ?So,? said the bunny lady. ?You really did¡­what, eat the world snake??


    Rachel nodded. ?I don''t really understand what it means, but yes.?


    The woman dropped her head to rest on the back of her hands. ?Ancestors,? she muttered. ?This is a lot more complicated than I was expecting. I came rushing over here thinking there might be some crazy kami I could aim at the Sundas, and instead it''s an ostensibly human girl who eats greater kami for breakfast. What the hell. Mani didn''t give me any advice that applies to this one.?


    ?I don''t know what Sundas or kami are, but I am human.?


    ?¡­whatever you say.? The bunny lady sighed. ?So what now? What exactly do you want from me??


    ?If it''s not too much trouble, would you please help me get out of this desert? I''m looking for someone, and I''m pretty sure he isn''t going to be in the middle of nowhere. Oh, and what''s your name??


    ?Bafubani.? It took Rachel a second to realize that the woman¡ªBafubani, that is¡ªwas answering her second question first. ?And yeah, I guess I can get you to the nearest town. I think that might be Henka? This¡ªperson you''re looking for. He anything like you??


    ?Sort of? I mean, I don''t think he''s likely to have made any deals with giant snakes, but we''re from the same place.? And if she was interpreting what the snake had said initially correctly, Xavier had indeed shown up in the same place as she did, so it was likely he''d ended up in this "Henka".


    ?Very well,? said Bafubani. ?I''m not sure I can get you all the way to Henka, though. I have¡ªsomething I need to take care of on the way. Although¡­? She gave Rachel a speculative look that Rachel wasn''t sure she liked. ?Maybe you can help me, in turn.? Bafubani shook herself, and stepped forward, dragging her hammer behind her by one hand. ?Either way, we need to head this way to start.?


    Rachel waited for her to pass her, wondering if the snake would weigh in on Bafubani''s suspicious behavior, but it was silent. At least they were headed in roughly the direction that Rachel had started out, so perhaps her instincts were correct about where she needed to go.


    As they neared the cusp of the depression, Bafubani''s ears perked forward. ?Huh. Looks like maybe you''ll help me either way. How do you feel about Sundas??


    ?What''s a Sunda?? asked Rachel, but at that moment they crested the edge of the depression and she found herself facing a small army.


    ?Those are Sundas,? said Bafubani helpfully.


    Thanks so much for clarifying.

 Styx: 032

    Styx: 032


    The Sunda troops were arrayed in groups, each containing perhaps 100 soldiers moving in formation, although Rachel didn''t have the vantage to tell if the formations were square or in some other shape. When Rachel and Bafubani crested the edge of the depression, they found eight of these formations spaced apart in a rough crescent shape and slowly approaching the depression, with four to their immediate front, one slightly to their right, and three farther off to the left. It appeared the formations had largely traveled around the feet of the dunes; although there were small companies of soldiers visible on the nearest dunes, the bulk of the soldiers were snaking around the sides of the nearest dunes.


    Thanks to the dunes, Rachel couldn''t be sure how many soldiers there were, but given that she could see at least 15 of the formations it had to be a couple thousand, at minimum. The soldiers that she could see clearly were all dressed in some sort of tan uniform with green accents, and when they saw her they uniformly went down on one knee and raised some sort of¡ªwere  those wooden staffs? They certainly weren''t guns¡ªto their shoulders. The soldiers in the rank immediately behind the first raised identical staffs and with a sudden flurry of shouts the formations further back began to move forward much faster.


    Bafubani crouched, hand clenched on the shaft of her hammer, while Rachel simply gaped. She hadn''t been sure what she would discover on her first day in a new world, but facing off against a literal army was definitely not something she or Bill had predicted.


    ?Bafubani?? said Rachel quietly, not making any sudden moves. ?What do the¡­Sundas want??


    ?Best I can tell, they''re here to have a go at killing the world snake,? returned Bafubani, equally quietly.


    ?That''s what you called the giant snake that I ate, isn''t it??


    Bafubani inclined her head slightly.


    ?¡­well, shit.? Snake?


    I am unsure why we would be targeted by a group of humans. I have been isolated at the core of the world for almost a millennia.


    One of the groups of soldiers on the top of a dune suddenly burst into frenetic activity, with several different soldiers scrambling to raise and wave red flags. At the signal, cries rang out in a ripple across the army.


    I will need primacy.


    Damn, Rachel figured as much. She wasn''t going to enjoy this. Keep us safe.


    Always.


    Unlike when the snake had emerged to face down Bafubani, color didn''t swiftly bleed from the world; it snapped out of it and Rachel briefly fell into cool, scale-filled darkness.


    <hr>


    Concentrated nima bloomed from the artifacts held by the front lines of soldiers facing them, shrieking across the desert in a wash of heat and noise. As the rabbit dove to the sand and huddled behind its oversized hammer, the snake lifted one arm and twisted it viciously. The flying nima suddenly arced in all directions, much of it slamming into the sand and sending huge fountains of dirt and grit into the air to obscure the view of the human soldiers. None of the nima came within thirty feet of the pair, although with a thought the snake pulled a solid chunk of it through the ground, quickly transmuting it through the intervening soil and extracting the elements it needed for a physical shaping. As a second wave of nima came flying toward them on the tail of the first, the snake flicked its fingers upward to send it all whistling upwards to dissipate harmlessly in the sky. The action was barely worth a thought. All of the snake''s attention was focused on embedding the pattern for its human body within its mind even as it simultaneously remade everything from the waist down into a more familiar shape. Its experience with the rabbit had proven that it was not yet acclimated enough with this form to walk on two legs naturally, particularly not with Rachel so deeply withdrawn.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    As the snake''s legs fused together with matter from the desert into a snake''s tail as thick as Rachel''s waist and easily four times her height, a third volley came flying towards them. This one the snake largely left alone; the vast majority of the weaponized nima was off-target thanks to the still-falling screen of dirt. It did, however, siphon off enough from the shots that were on a direct course for it to cause them to dissipate harmlessly before impact, feeding the resulting energy inwards. This situation was dangerous enough without Rachel sleeping through everything. The snake was devoting quite a lot of effort into recalling and maintaining her form, but it would be much easier if she were consciously affirming her own physical identity.


    <hr>


    Rachel had never been a particular fan of being tightly confined, but she found the warm, dry scales snugged tightly around her oddly comforting. However, some¡ªthing pulsed briefly through the coils, shocking her into wakefulness. As she groggily regained awareness, she remained in a semi-dreaming state.


    It seemed she had transformed, at least partially, into a snake. This didn''t particularly upset her, for some reason. She supposed the snake had a good reason for it, and her emotions were strangely blunted. But it felt uncomfortable, like the lower half of her body had gone to sleep and was now just on the cusp of feeling massive pins and needles. Her vision was in shades of gray, as it had been when the snake had been intimidating Bafubani, although this time she was able to see something akin to color. She wasn''t sure how to parse it; was she detecting heat? The blobs that she could see forward were somewhat humanoid in shape, at least. There was another non-color that was flashing through the air around her in brief, shrieking streaks, as well. Somehow, she instinctively realized that was nima.


    Was the army firing nima at them out of those staff-things? Wasn''t nima basically magical power of some sort? Who fought giant magical beasts by throwing raw magic at them? Wasn''t that sort of self-defeating? Maybe she was missing something here.


    While she dreamily pondered the mystery of nima-based warfare, the snake brought her torso low to the ground, covered her eyes with her arms, and began slithering forward at break-neck speed. Huh, she could still "see" the colors that she was reasonably certain were heat and nima. Guess those weren''t actually vision, or at least weren''t something she was doing with her eyes. What a strange sensation.


    It turned out throwing raw nima at a being over a millennium old was, in fact, not a smart move. As the next wave of concentrated nima blasted toward her, the snake twisted her in a sharp circle and with a feeling of pulling as she turned into it followed by a massive shove as she wove her way back out the nima in the air torqued around her and blasted back through the formation to her right with so much force that it left behind little more than a light mist as it chewed through two additional formations behind the first and finally destroyed the majority of one of the dunes upon which yet more soldiers had been feverishly working to setup some sort of emplacement.


    The abrupt and total destruction of an eighth of their visible fighting force caused a lull in the firing, the last few nima bursts sailing harmlessly past well away from Rachel''s current position. The snake canted her upright, balancing on the coil of her tail to peer about the battlefield. In the stillness there was a WHUMPF as Bafubani landed nearby, hammer in tow.


    ?Looks like you''re helping me after all,? she said, somewhat smugly.


    The snake turned a cold eye on the rabbit. ?I take it the prey wishes to be a hunter? If you would be of some use to us, the artifact being constructed there could cause us some discomfort.? The snake pointed to one of the further remaining dunes sporting soldiers scurrying about its top.


    Bafubani squinted that way, evidently eyeballing the distance. ?Not sure I can make it quite that¡ª?


    ?Just jump already,? snapped the snake, dragging nima up from several hundred feet below the surface and shoving it into the surprised rabbit''s legs. Bafubani winced in pain, crouched downward, and absolutely exploded into the air, arcing far higher and farther than Rachel had yet seen her jump. Before she was out of range, the snake negligently nudged her trajectory slightly to the left to ensure she actually landed on the dune.


    As it began to turn Rachel''s eyes away Rachel saw Bafubani reach the peak of her arc and as she rocketed downward towards the dune, she whipped her massive hammer up over her head, sending her into a front-spin until she landed hammer-first on the dunetop with a giant explosion of sand.


    That was all Rachel had time to notice, however, because almost at the same instant that Bafubani impacted the dune the entire army charged.

 Styx: 033

    Styx: 033


    What had started a dreamlike experience was ending a nightmare. When the Sundas had rushed Rachel en masse she''d felt a spike of fear where she was floating somewhere in the back of her own head. That fear had quickly turned to horror, however, as the snake viciously deconstructed the army around her using nothing more than its will and whatever stray pieces of nima it could locate.


    The first rush was the only one in which anyone got close enough to try and physically harm Rachel. At that point, the soldiers were still displaying some level of discipline, and they fell in around Rachel with practiced speed and cooperation. In the initial moments, the snake concentrated on keeping Rachel''s main body safe, ducking and weaving through strikes from swords and thrusts from spears, occasionally retaliating by drawing the nima straight out of the enemy''s weapons and turning it on them to slash through wrists and throats. Meanwhile, although the snake bucked them off several times, the soldiers behind Rachel were able to pin her tail down and do their best to inflict serious harm, sending shooting pain that the snake ignored, but made Rachel cringe and shrink inside.


    Several interminable seconds into the melee, however, a soldier whose right hand the snake had severed snatched the staff weapon off his back and in desperation tried to fire it point-blank in Rachel''s face.


    The snake instantly took control of the ejected nima, condensed it, wrapped it through several of the fallen weapons near its feet, deconstructed them into slivers of metal, and sent the entire mass whipping around her body in a tight circle that shredded flesh and sent blood spattering everywhere. At the same time, it lunged forward and grabbed the staff out of the hand of the shocked, blood-spattered, and still miraculously-alive soldier, broke it in half, and used the blast of nima that tried to escape to pull matter from the dead bodies around it and heal the wounds in its tail. As an afterthought, it then shoved the jagged end of one of the remaining pieces of staff through the chest of the soldier who had fired it and discarded the other to the sand.


    Having bought itself a little space from the still-oncoming rush of soldiers, the snake whipped into a tight spiral, rising up a good one and a half times higher than Rachel''s height, and began systematically deconstructing the army around her.


    Drawing nima from the corpses, body-parts, and blood around itself the snake quickly performed similar tricks on a smaller scale: deconstructing part or all of a sword, then using the nima to launch it through the air at absurd speeds into whatever unlucky group of soldiery as nearest.


    As nima from its continued swarms of metallic death began leaching into the air, the snake also began to take more direct action: reaching out a hand, it clenched Rachel''s fist scant inches away from a soldier who had made it closer than most and tore a chunk of nima directly out of the his body, causing a good chunk of his chest to partially disintegrate. Whipping its hand downward, it fed that nima into the sand, diffused it slightly, and then used it to send small spires of glass shooting out to impale an entire group of soldiers who were following close behind.


    Evidently catastrophic damage to bodies made access to the nima in them easier, because the snake was then able to snag a solid chunk of nima out of the dead and dying soldiers who had been impaled and trigger an explosive blast of air and heat that finished them off and sent chunks of red-hot glass whipping through the air to cause further destruction.


    The only colors she could perceive were the strange non-colors she was now certain were nima and heat, and although the nima was thickening the air so much the tint of the sky seemed to be changing, everywhere the snake took Rachel, the colors she associated with heat bled out.


    The one-sided slaughter continued, the snake killing hundreds of people in the span of a few minutes as it advanced further into the center of the army that continued to collapse around it in a futile attempt to surround and overwhelm.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    The horrific ferocity of the whole experience was so overwhelming that Rachel found herself drifting in a fugue once again, desperately trying to shut out the things the snake was using her body to do.


    Eventually, the cries around her changed tenor, and Rachel found her attention pulled back. Instead of rushing them, the soldiers were now fleeing in a panic, although this didn''t stop the snake from decimating everyone within range.


    With a SPLAT, a battered Bafubani landed in the bloody slurry off to Rachel''s right where a few seconds before a group of soldiers had been attempting to flee. She turned, keeping her hand on the handle of her ever-present hammer, whose head was now spattered with gore. Rachel wasn''t sure if it was from the landing, or due to Bafubani''s actions prior to catching up to her.


    ?Whew, that was a workout. Give me a little more warning before you toss me in the middle of an army next time, maybe?? She straightened, rotated her neck around with a crack, and grunted as she flipped her hammer up to hold it over her shoulder. Rachel realized it was the first time she''d seen the rabbit woman actually hold the hammer instead of just dragging it around. ?So, we going after them, or what??


    The snake merely hissed and began slithering forward.


    In a sudden panic Rachel reached out with¡ªsomething¡ªand yanked back hard. The nima in the air around her came rushing in, sending her head-over-tail to land in the nastiness that had once been clean sand.


    Awkwardly, she maneuvered herself somewhat upright, pressing against the sand with her hands and trying desperately to ignore the suddenly-foreign feeling of having a huge snake tail where her legs should have been.


    ?Enough!? she gasped out. ?Enough. They''re running away. They''re not trying to kill us anymore. There''s no reason to pursue them.?


    The snake was silent, though she could feel it coiling silently inside her, considering.


    Bafubani walked over and dropped into a crouch next to Rachel. ?That you, so-called human? There''s more Sundas where those came from, you know. That was a big chunk of their force, sure, but hardly everyone. They''ll be after you again, no question.?


    ?Then we deal with that then,? Rachel growled. ?There is no reason for me to brutally murder people who I have never met before who are fleeing me in terror!?


    Bafubani was silent a few minutes, staring at Rachel with an inscrutable expression. ?Well, that''s you. I still have business with¡ª?


    As Bafubani started to rise, Rachel shot her hand out and grabbed the woman''s wrist with a strength that frankly surprised her. ?You,? she hissed, ?are showing me the way to Henka. If you just want to murder these Sundas, whoever they are, you can do that on your own time afterward. We are done helping you, you blood-crazy bitch.?


    Bafubani stared at Rachel a few more minutes. Without warning, she yanked at her arm, and although Rachel rocked forward slightly, Bafubani completely failed to shift her grip. ?Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!? the rabbit woman swore. ?Fine! Mani did tell me¡­anyway, let go of me, you damn snake. I''ll get you to Henka, but after that, we are done with one another, you understand me??


    Rachel released Bafubani''s wrist without comment. "Snake? I want my body back."


    Yessssss, hissed the snake, in the depths of her mind. You are correct in your assessment of the situation. Thank you. It has been a long time since I experienced the instinct to hunt to quite such an extent. Rachel found herself slightly zoning out again as the snake did something and the matter below her waist began to change, some of it transforming back into her legs and the majority simply sloughing off. Rachel tried her best to ignore the sensations, until at last color leached its way back into the world and she stumbled to her feet, naked from the waist down; though given the sensations she was suddenly noticing from her blood-soaked jacket she almost wished her top half wasn''t clothed, either.


    ?Well, shit,? she said. ?This is a problem.?


    If only she knew where that damn backpack had gotten, although now that she''d experienced how easily the snake could mutate a physical body, she wondered if perhaps all the clothes and supplies she''d brought with her had ended up part of the snake in their initial encounter.


    ?Force that big, they''ll have some supplies with them,? commented Bafubani, still without expression.


    ?Well, lucky you,? said Rachel, with a fair bite of acid. ?You get to fight more Sunda soldiers. But I swear, you strike down a single person who''s running from you, and I''ll let the snake back out to play.?


    Bafubani''s expression wavered into uncertainty, until she shook herself and forcefully turned away. ?Fine. Catch up when you can.? And she leapt toward the dune the bulk of the soldiers had recently fled around.


    "I''m so glad she bought that," muttered Rachel, and began trudging after her.

 Styx: 034

    Styx: 034


    It turned out the Sundas had indeed brought supplies, and although they had also been in the process of evacuating them, the defenders had not been ready for Bafubani. The area immediately around the wagon she had targeted was surprisingly empty of anything beyond the occasional splash of blood on the ground. The smashed corpses of former soldiers scattered in an arc up to thirty feet away told another story.


    By the time Rachel caught up to her, the tail edge of the Sunda force was in full retreat around the furthest dune, their remaining wagons trundling along with them, and Bafubani was leaning on her hammer near the remaining wagon watching them go with a look of regret on her face. One arm was bleeding from a shallow cut across her shoulder, but she otherwise looked merely exhausted.


    If Rachel hadn''t just experienced what sort of pain the snake could dish out, she would have thought Bafubani was a total monster. As it was, she wondered why the rabbit woman hadn''t bothered healing her scrape with some of the excess nima that she could sense dissipating through the air.


    The snake stirred in the back of her mind, and Rachel realized there was someone cowering underneath the wagon. The snake''s instincts were telling her whoever it was seemed more like prey than ambusher, though, so she ignored them in the short term in favor of finding herself some pants. Hopping up on the back of the wagon, she began digging through the various supplies. There was a lot of water, a sizeable cache of food, some things that she figured must be weapons, based on the vague sense of nima she felt inside of them, and thankfully a small cache of uniforms. They were all a bit baggy, but Rachel selected the smallest of them, and with the aid of a piece of rope as a belt successfully clothed herself. She also replaced her bloody jacket with one of the jackets the Sundas wore, though she didn''t bother with any of the bandoliers or other accoutrements. Unfortunately, there wasn''t anything that resembled undergarments that she could find. Her bra was still serviceable, but she was certain she was going to regret the lack of panties after trekking through the desert in what felt like canvas pants.


    Clothing sorted, she hopped down from the wagon, checked on Bafubani¡ªstill staring off into the distance and pointedly ignoring Rachel¡ªand leaned over to peer under the wagon. The horrified face of a Sunda stared back at her.


    ?Come on out of there,? said Rachel, as gently as she could.


    ?What do you¡ªoh,? said Bafubani, swinging around and repositioning her hands on the shaft of her hammer to allow her to swing it freely as the soldier slowly crawled out from under the wagon.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    Scratch that, Rachel decided he probably wasn''t a soldier. Although his clothing was broadly similar in style, he wasn''t wearing one of their uniforms, and bore no weapons that she could see. Maybe the person who was in charge of driving the wagon? Though how he ended up underneath it when the horses or whatever mount that was supposed to pull it were long gone was a mystery to her.


    The man was evidently terrified of Bafubani, which Rachel supposed made sense, but although he was backed right up against the wagon in an attempt to stay as far away from the rabbit woman as possible, the bulk of his attention was solidly on Rachel. She couldn''t be sure, but it seemed he was regarding her with something akin to awe.


    ?Can I kill him??


    ?Back off, Bafubani!? snapped Rachel. ?Does he look like a threat?? She turned her attention to the man. ?What''s your name? Why were you hiding under this wagon instead of fleeing with the rest of your army??


    ?I am Malken,? the man said. ?I¡­missed my chance to escape. I had strayed from my post to watch¡ªah¡ªin any case, by the time I made it back to the wagon, someone had cut the horses free, and that akuma was on my heels. I hoped you would pass, and I could¡ªbut, ah.?


    He fell silent for a moment. ?If you''re going to kill me, please make it quick. I would rather you than the akuma.?


    Rachel glared over her shoulder at Bafubani, who was practically bristling with aggression and bloodlust. ?Back up, damn it, Bafubani.? She turned back to the Sunda¡ªMalken, she reminded herself. ?Are you planning to try and harm me? No? Then I have no reason to harm you. My name is Rachel, and if you show us the direction that army of yours is located so we can avoid it, we''ll go our own way and you can go yours.?


    Malken stared at her for a long moment, and Rachel shifted uncomfortably. She''d always thought she was skilled at reading people, but ever since she''d somehow ousted the snake from control of her body, she''d been having trouble telling what Bafubani and now this Malken were thinking.


    Finally, he spoke up. ?I could never¡­that is to say¡ª? He paused, again, and took a deep breath. ?Please, take me with you. I¡ªdon''t think I can go back to the church. But I can guide you around the Sundlin army, and I can carry supplies.? He gestured vaguely to the wagon at his back.


    Well, that was unexpected. ?Why would you want to come with us? We¡ªum¡ªjust killed quite a lot of your people.?


    ?I am¡ªI was a priest of the Children of Man¡ª? Rachel heard Bafubani hiss behind her ?¡ªbut I can''t¡ªI''ve lost¡ªafter seeing¡ªI can''t go back to that. Please take me with you. I swear, I''m not a threat, and I don''t think I can survive the Deadlands on my own.?


    The sun that was beginning to pound down on all of them decided her. ?Fine. Bafubani, Malken, grab as much water as you can carry. We''re getting out of this damn desert. Malken, you can come with us to the first town we find and can figure out where you''re going from there. Bafubani, cut the death glare and grab a water container already!?


    Suiting actions to words, Rachel hopped back up into the wagon, grabbed two heavy canteens, and slung one over each shoulder before jumping back down. ?I know you two are deadly enemies or whatever, but I''m really not in the mood to care. Let''s go.?


    Surprisingly, they went.

 Styx: 035

    Styx: 035


    For the first time since she had woken up¡ªGod had it only been that morning?¡ªRachel found herself with space to think as she and her two companions trudged through the desert. They had been walking for perhaps an hour at this point, and Rachel was finally starting to relax; the first thirty minutes or so she kept expecting some new calamity to strike, but apparently the narrative had exhausted itself with the snake and the army. At one point, she''d had to stop and just lean on her knees while she breathed through a massive attack of jitters. She wasn''t sure if it was anxiety over what might happen, or just a delayed reaction to the absurd amount of violence she''d found herself thrust into. In any case, Bafubani didn''t bother to stop walking, and Malken was evidently too cowed to do much more than hover inarticulately nearby. When she''d finally achieved something approaching equilibrium, they''d had to walk fast to catch up with the rabbit woman.


    As she sought something to distract herself, Rachel''s first thought was to get Bafubani and Malken talking. Every instinct from her past life was telling her that she needed to get a handle on her companion''s temperaments so she could successfully find a place for herself.


    On the other hand, unlike every other instance where she''d woken up in a new place, this time she was the person people needed to please because, hey¡­giant killer snake. She hadn''t forgotten that Bafubani had thrown her straight into a conflict with people she had no grudge against, and if she wanted to avoid being drawn into politics she neither understood nor truthfully cared about, she needed to establish her personal priorities first. And if she was going to do that, she needed a better handle on her situation.


    Snake? she thought to herself. You awake in there?


    Indeed.


    I need you to tell me exactly what has happened to us. You said that I would "consume" you, but I have no idea what that means. How are you able to take over my body? Am I in danger of becoming some sort of weird snake woman and losing my own identity? I need answers.


    The snake didn''t respond for several steps, and once again Rachel felt the strange sensation of coils flexing and sliding against one another deep in her mind. You have, in a very real way, consumed me. Perhaps there is some intrinsic difference between your original reality and this one, as I sensed the same deformity in the one who came before you. In any case, where most organisms generate a small amount of nima, at your core is the most severe nima deficiency I have ever sensed. I have some of the greatest nima reserves of anything on the planet, but am handily contained within you and even now you are still sucking down great quantities of nima from me.


    Rachel frowned. Why would you want that? Doesn''t having a lot of nima just mean you have a lot of power?


    Nima is the flow of life. With sufficient awareness and training it is possible to manipulate it to your own ends, but nima on its own is not power, per se. As I grew larger, the amount of nima I necessarily had to consume began to outweigh the amount I could reasonably hunt. At last I descended toward the earth''s core where nima is denser and more plentiful, simply so that I could survive. However, living as a thing partially integrated within molten rock is not life as I once knew it. In another few centuries or millennia I would have been little more than another natural process, part of the beating heart of the world and not truly an individual organism. Before you and your predecessor ripped through the veil, I had resigned myself to that end. But now, here I am, experiencing the world once more.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Well, that was consistent with the cryptic things the snake had told her earlier in the day. But what does me "consuming" you mean for me?


    As we are now, not much. I have entwined us to ensure I can help you integrate with this reality, and to allow us to communicate as individuals. However, I would prefer to passively experience the world through your senses. Manipulating your physical self to the extent that we have done today is something that should only be reserved for emergencies. There is too much danger of me forgetting or breaking your intrinsic patterns, and should that happen you would not only die, but I would likely revert in short order to my original form. I am unsure what about you it is that causes this nima vacuum, and do not wish to risk it.


    Very well, thought Rachel. What about me going home? You said you could help with that, right?


    Correct. I was quite close when the phenomena that brought you to this reality occurred, and I believe with effort we could reproduce the effect, should you will it. At the present, it is regrettably not possible, however. We will need to learn together how to more tightly entwine when needed, since you will need to take an active role in drawing yourself through the veil.


    Rachel shrugged to herself. That''s fine. You mentioned my "predecessor" a couple of times, right? Well, I need to find him before I can go home.


    Excellent, hissed the snake. That serves my desires very well. I knew I was right to approach you, Rachel.


    Well, that had been informative. Rachel now knew two things: the snake could read her thoughts to some extent, so there wasn''t any point in trying to come up with plans privately, and the connection went both ways. Throughout their internal discussion she''d focused on trying to determine if the snake was lying or dissembling, and from what she''d sensed she didn''t think the concept of dishonesty was something the snake even understood. Distraction, perhaps, as it felt it was needed, but she got the feeling that deception was alien to it.


    That the snake''s goal was apparently just to experience the world was quite the godsend for her. She didn''t frankly understand it, but then again she was a completely different species and her age compared to its was basically a rounding error. Perhaps by the time she was ready and able to go home the snake would be able to extricate itself from her and live a normal life again. That would be nice.


    In any case, her personal priorities were clear: find Xavier, save him from whatever mess he''d gotten himself into, and then get the two of them home with the help of the snake.


    But before she turned her attention to her companions, she needed to clear one thing up.


    Snake, what''s your name?


    Name? I am a snake.


    Yeah, but I can''t exactly just call you "snake" all the time. What if we run across other snakes?


    There are no other snakes like me.


    Rachel chuckled in exasperation. But what should I call you? Look, it''s a human thing. We like to attach names to stuff.


    Call me whatever you like.


    Hmm. That was kind of a puzzler. Rachel couldn''t think of any really good snake names. There was that Greek snake that ate its own tale, but the name was escaping her at the moment, and other than that she couldn''t recall any good snakes in literature. Oh, well. She''d just have to pick something random, then.


    I''ll call you Sedgewick.


    She''d always liked that name, for some reason. Even if it did make her giant, killer passenger sound like some sort of old English butler.

 Styx: 036

    Styx: 036


    By the time evening had fallen, Malken had fully proved his worth, and despite his apparent inability to speak coherently to her and evident terror of Bafubani Rachel had no regrets in accepting his company. When they''d needed to take shelter in the hottest part of the day, Malken had expertly constructed a small tent that he had packed out from the supply wagon. Bafubani had scorned it, opting instead to shelter in the scant shadow of a nearby rock, but Rachel had dozed inside with Malken awkwardly huddled next to her, feeling surprisingly pleasant despite the oppressive heat. Perhaps a side effect of her bond with Sedgewick. He''d certainly seemed happy with their choice to stop and bask.


    When the temperature stabilized, Malken had packed the tent away without any fuss as Bafubani grumpily tried to groom sand out of her hair. Of the three of them, he''d also done the best job packing food and water, so when it came time to eat something in the evening, the main reason their diet was more than just hard-tack was thanks to Malken and the oversized pack he''d been lugging about all day. Even Bafubani reluctantly accepted some dried fruits and jerky.


    As the twilight deepened and they finally made camp, Malken proved his worth once again. Rachel watched with fascination as he laboriously worked his way around the periphery of their encampment, channeling nima from a strip of sand as he went and forcing it into a number of random rocks that he''d dug up, causing the rocks to emit a cool blue glow. Thanks to Sedgewick, Rachel could sense how he was drawing the nima in, roughly shaping it, and then using it to force the rocks toward luminescence. It was somewhat similar to some of the things Sedgewick had been doing earlier in the day, except smaller in scope.


    Although she was certain Sedgewick would tell her what was going on if she asked, she couldn''t pass up her first good opportunity to try and entice some conversation out of Malken.


    ?What are you doing?? Rachel asked, approaching Malken as he neared his original starting point.


    ?Ah! Uh. This? Um. This is a simple pest deterrent. And the light helps, because¡­um¡­it''s dark. At night.?


    Bafubani snorted, and Malken flinched.


    Given that Malken was kneeling on the sand, Rachel squatted down to avoid looming over him. ?How is that a deterrent??


    ?Ah, well I deplete the nima in a wide and deep enough patch, see, without taking so much that the sand collapses. So it lasts most of the night until it can equalize again, and in the meantime will exert a small drain on anything that crosses over it. Bigger animals won''t care, but smaller pests and insects will avoid it by instinct.?This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Rachel sat back on her heels. ?Huh, that''s clever. I didn''t know you could draw only a small amount of nima out of something like that, especially not something as small as a bunch of grains of sand.?


    ?Well, uh. It''s not that big a deal.?


    Bafubani spoke up from where she was leaning against her hammer. Rachel was beginning to wonder if the rabbit woman was ever not touching her weapon. She''d even dragged it off with her to pee while Malken was setting up the tent. ?Well aren''t you the talented little heretic. I heard good little Sunda boys and girls used artifacts for that sort of thing.?


    Malken glared down at his hands, and Rachel impulsively spoke up. ?Say what you want to say, Malken. Bafubani isn''t going to hurt you.? Bafubani snorted, and Rachel shot her a look. ?She''s not.?


    ?Channeling isn''t heretical,? said Malken softly. ?It''s just¡­unsafe. I told you I am¡ªwas¡ªa priest of the Children of Man. We learn to channel safely so that others do not have to.?


    ?So they have half a chance of understanding and killing real channelers, he means,? said Bafubani.


    ?Bafubani¡ª? began Rachel, but Malken cut her off.


    ?She''s not entirely wrong,? he said quietly. ?The Children of Man are not at all friendly with¡ªpeople like her. Channelers are all threats, because they are all at risk of becoming a kami. We clergy put ourselves at risk to protect everyone.?


    ?Put yourselves¡ª? exclaimed Bafubani, before snapping her mouth shut. ?Then why are you here with us, Sunda? Hoping to murder us in our sleep like you did¡ª? She forcefully ceased speaking yet again. Rachel could practically feel the rabbit woman''s glower, and realized with a start that what she was actually sensing was Bafubani actively cycling nima through her body.


    Malken hadn''t moved from his original position, arm stretched out to caress the sand, though he wasn''t making any move to complete his barrier. ?I am not a warrior-priest. I just served the church, but ah¡­did you see the nima storm yesterday? I''d never seen anything like it, and it was just¡ªnima. Awe-inspiring, but impersonal. So much bigger than us. Like the ocean. Not good, not evil, just¡­deserving of respect. When the high priests told us the great snake kami was moving, that it was time to fight it, I had to see it. I volunteered to help with the supplies, then slipped away.? His eyes slid over to Rachel, but then he instantly averted his gaze. ?You were terrible, but¡ªwe sought you out. And I realized that even if you were as great a threat as the high priests said, you weren''t evil, just¡­overwhelming. I don''t want to die. I don''t want my people to die. But fear and hatred were only serving to keep the old priests in power. They weren''t the right response. I guess my faith in the church itself just¡ªbroke.? He straightened up, turning toward Bafubani for the first time. ?I may be a child of man, but I''m not your enemy.?


    Bafubani kept cycling nima for a moment more, until Rachel sensed her abruptly let it drain away. ?Tell that to the dead,? she muttered and rolled over, pulling the handle of the hammer beside her to the sand with a thump.


    Malken paused for a moment before turning back to his pest deterrent with a virtually inaudible sigh. Rachel smiled at him, and left him to it.


    She needed to talk to Bafubani soon, but now was not the right time. From the things she''d said, Rachel was certain the Sunda army had destroyed something¡ªor someone¡ªprecious to her.


    Rachel sighed to herself as she crawled into the tent and curled up in one corner. She wasn''t sure how she was going to deal with a rabbit woman on a revenge quest, but one thing was certain: she was glad it was her problem instead of Xavier''s.


    There was no way he wouldn''t have mucked this one up somehow.

 Styx: 037

    Styx: 037


    Three days later, and Rachel was coming to the conclusion that Bafubani was a problem Rachel would be unable to solve. She''d tried talking to the rabbit woman numerous times, but nothing drew her out of her shell. Wordless kindness did nothing to dent her reticence. Giving her space failed to improve her mood.


    At this point, Rachel was wondering if perhaps she should simply bid the ornery woman good-bye in Henka, and good riddance.


    Both Malken and Bafubani seemed to think that moment was fast approaching. They''d evidently gotten slightly lost¡ªnot surprising, given the complete lack of landmarks¡ªand eventually had to fall back on following Sedgewick''s guidance toward what he called the greatest locus of nima in the vicinity.


    Rachel really hoped they weren''t headed straight back into the arms of the Sundlin army, as she''d gleaned it was actually called through conversations with Malken.


    She''d had a chance to chat with Sedgewick during the endless walking of the last few days, and the snake had urged her not to rely on his intervention, particularly when a little caution ahead of time could prevent them coming into conflict with armed soldiers. Rachel had told Malken she would like to avoid the army, to his whole-hearted agreement. Bafubani hadn''t been interested in discussing it.


    As the sun sank in the sky, a haze that had been sitting on the horizon ahead of them for some time at last resolved into a dilapidated line of buildings. It seemed they had reached Henka at last.


    By unvoiced agreement, all three picked up the pace, slogging their way through the wending small dunes with renewed vigor. The sky had darkened considerably by the time they finally drew close enough to Henka to make out any details, and when they did, what greeted them was not promising.


    The closer they had drawn to the town and the darker it had gotten, the more pronounced had grown a blue-white glow from somewhere within the town. As they drew close enough to the leading edge of houses to see the disrepair and in some cases utter ruin that afflicted the buildings, sounds of shouts, screams, and explosions made it to their ears.


    They''d made it to Henka, but it seemed the Sundlin army¡ªor at least some part of it¡ªwas there, as well.


    As it became increasingly obvious that the noise from within Henka was due to fighting, Bafubani''s ears perked up more and more. At last, she whipped herself around to face Rachel.


    ?Alright, I got you to Henka. Time to part ways, Miss Snake.? She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in her apparent eagerness to rush off towards the fighting.


    ?Ah, yeah,? said Rachel, feeling awkward and off-balance. ?You''re sure you don''t want to keep traveling with us?? It would be undeniably useful to have someone native to the desert along. Malken had admitted his lack of knowledge of the animal-people''s lands between here and the south himself.


    ?You feel like helping me kill off those Sundas?? Bafubani shot back.


    ?No. But¡ª?


    ?Then that''s all we have to say to one another.? Before Rachel could gather her thoughts, Bafubani gripped her hammer, crouched, and hurled herself through the air toward the border of the town.


    "Shit!" said Rachel. What would a manga protagonist do here? Probably rush off into action after Bafubani, who was likely supposed to be some form of dere personality; Rachel could never bring herself to care enough to remember the various prefixes. Getting embroiled in the vendetta of a short-term companion without even knowing what the vendetta was about definitely sounded right for the various isekai she''d read at Bill''s insistence.


    But she doubted that would get her any closer to Xavier.


    Malken timidly stepped closer. ?What would you like to do??


    Rachel turned away from where Bafubani had disappeared into the town. ?Come on, we need to get under cover. I have no interest in fighting your former compatriots today.?The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    The town seemed fairly deserted, the buildings in a poor state of repair even as they penetrated their way deeper in. Darkness continued to fall as Rachel and Malken carefully made their way from street to street, peering between houses before crossing any intersection. It was nerve-wracking, not least because the whole town was laid out so randomly that there were no proper roads. It was rare that Rachel could see more than the lengths of one or two buildings.


    Knowing that there was active fighting, she would have preferred to avoid the town entirely, but they needed water. She only hoped they could find a well or similar that was unguarded.


    They were passing by the doorway of yet another seemingly empty home, when a sudden, ?Hsst!? made Rachel and Malken both jump. ?This way, hurry! The Sundas don''t patrol out here often, but they could be along at any moment!?


    Rachel and Malken shared a glance, and then Rachel ducked through the door, stepping aside to avoid leaving a silhouette in the doorway. ?Who¡ª? she began, but was interrupted.


    ?No time! Just follow me, and stay quiet!?


    The two slunk after the indistinct shape in the gloom, which lead them through a pair of rooms to the back of the house where a window had been enlarged enough to slip through. Outside, the figure stood on a ledge just outside the window and hoisted themselves onto the roof.


    When Rachel and Malken followed, they found their mysterious benefactor maneuvering a wide board into place to cross to the roof of the next building over. Malken stepped forward to help, but with a grunt and a slight rush of nima through his arms and legs, the stranger swung the board to bridge the gap. He placed his hands at its base, holding it steady. ?Go, go! I''ll be across after you.?


    The two carefully made their way across the board. It was nerve-wracking. The space between the buildings wasn''t terribly large¡ªjust big enough to be impossible to jump¡ªbut the board still swayed and bent alarmingly. Rachel found herself crossing crouched down, practically on all fours.


    Once Malken and Rachel were both across, the stranger retracted the board and stashed it, before leaping across the gap in a move reminiscent of Bafubani, right down to the powerful surge of nima Rachel could sense cycling through his legs.


    ?Right, next¡ª? he said quietly, turning their way and stopping dead. The twilight was less deep on the roof out of the shadows of the buildings, and Rachel could see that their benefactor was another animal person; this one maybe part sheep? Or perhaps a goat, judging by the horns. His tone of voice completely changed, going hostile in an instant. ?Wait, you''re human.?


    Off the roof. Now!


    Rachel didn''t bother trying to process what Sedgewick was sensing. She just turned, shoved Malken backward, sending him stumbling, grabbed the edge of the roof, rolled her legs over the edge, and dropped.


    She landed hard and awkward, stumbling to the side and almost colliding with the wall of the building. There was a hiss of something slicing through the air above, and then Malken was tumbling backwards off the room, landing hard on his huge pack with a cry before rolling over and gasping for air. Rachel grabbed his shoulder, hauled him up through sheer adrenaline, and forced him to scurry down the street along with her.


    Behind and above them, she heard the animal person curse, and soft thumps as he retreated across the roof away from them.


    ?Come on come on come on,? she muttered to Malken, who was stumbling along with difficulty. ?We have to go!?


    The two hurried between buildings in the dark, caution thrown to the wind as Rachel desperately tried to put distance between them and their erstwhile benefactor. She wasn''t sure what it was she''d heard, but from what she could pick up from Sedgewick it had probably been some sort of weapon. Things were bad if she was going to get attacked simply for being human. Damn Bafubani for abandoning them, anyway.


    Keeping an eye behind her, Rachel led the two towards the glow that seemed to be originating near the center of town. She was reasonably sure the Sundlin soldiers would attack on sight, as well, but given how invested the animal person had been in getting away from them, she figured they were less likely to be pursued in this direction.


    After several twists and turns, and with the sound of fighting growing ever nearer, Rachel finally stopped in front of a seemingly-abandoned building. Sedgewick, you think anyone is inside?


    One moment.


    Briefly her vision twisted, as Sedgewick borrowed her senses, but it passed quickly.


    I believe the building is empty.


    Good enough. Rachel dragged Malken through the door, and shoved him down to the side before crouching down next to him.


    ?Malken, are you hurt??


    ?No,? he murmured, out of breath. ?At least, I don''t think so. That akuma would have taken my head off if you hadn''t pushed me, but I don''t think I''m bleeding.?


    ?Good.? Rachel stood, and leaned over just far enough to peek out the small slit of a window that was nearby. Nothing was moving outside that she could see. ?What do you say to staying here for a bit and trying to get through town once whatever fighting is going on over there dies down??


    ?That seems sensical,? said Malken faintly.


    Rachel forced herself away from the window. She was just as likely to give away their hiding place as she was to see anyone coming. ?Let''s move a little deeper inside, if you can.?


    ?I''m¡­alright.? Malken laboriously climbed to his feet. She couldn''t be certain in the gloom, but Rachel thought his jacket was hanging strangely. He''d better not be lying about being injured.


    Nothing she could do about that just at the moment, though. Frustration and fear coursing through her in roughly equal measure, Rachel led the way further into the darkness.

 Styx: 038

    Styx: 038


    Malken and Rachel waited in darkness as the sounds of fighting in the distance crested, and then finally began to fade away.


    As they waited, Rachel pondered. Every indication she had come across so far was that Xavier had headed south. That meant traveling through quite a lot of country controlled by animal people. Unfortunately, from what Malken had said on their trip out of the Deadlands it sounded like the Sundlin army had razed its way up the easiest route from Henka to the south-western lands of the nearby Confederacy. Which in turn meant that a pair of humans was likely to find a lot of welcomes like the one she and Malken had just received on the streets of Henka.


    That was a major problem. Sedgewick was leery of taking control of her body too often, and to be honest she wasn''t a big fan of that idea, either. She hadn''t been offered much chance to worry about it initially, but the idea of some sort of snake god controlling her was kind of freaking her out. In any case, relying on Sedgewick to force their way through a large amount of desert seemed like a great way to lose parts of herself she couldn''t recover.


    Any way she sliced it, they needed Bafubani. The rabbit woman was angry, ornery, and way too quick to go swinging her giant hammer around, but Rachel was certain she would prove a powerful deterrent to being randomly attacked by random animal people. She''d been thinking about how to get the rabbit woman to listen to her, going over everything she remembered her saying with a fine-tooth comb, and Rachel at least had an idea for how to make her listen. Assuming the woman was still alive and in a position Rachel could help her.


    Sedgewick, thought Rachel. Do you think Bafubani is likely to survive her little attempted suicide-by-army just now?


    Sedgewick was silent a moment, though Rachel felt him turning the thought over. From the little that I have observed her in combat, I would give her even odds. Against individuals such as those we fought, she would be a formidable opponent. Given enough numbers, and without a large external distraction such as ourselves, however¡­I doubt the rabbit would retreat when outmatched.


    Even odds, huh? That was better than Rachel herself had assumed, though now she thought of it Bafubani did successfully fight her way out of the center of the Sundlin army when Sedgewick tossed her over toward the weapon they were readying on the top of that dune. It was possible Rachel''s perception was skewed by how quickly Bafubani backed down when Sedgewick first asserted himself. With that in mind, and given that she was what Bill would have called a "named character"¡­yeah, Rachel was willing to bet Bafubani was alive. Alive, and definitely in trouble.


    If I could get her to open up to us, I think Bafubani could make our trip south a lot smoother. Do you think we could sneak over where the Sundlin were fighting and look for her without needing to fight ourselves?Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    Sedgewick coiled uneasily. Perhaps. If we cooperate, hmmm. Yes, I think we could make that work. The human would slow us down, however.


    Right, Malken. Where did he fit into the little narrative Rachel was trying to build? She already knew he wanted to accompany her to the Confederacy; they''d talked about that on the way to Henka. If nothing else, it would provide him with a land largely populated by humans in which to find a new life. So, she took him with her, he blew her cover, and they had a massive fight on their hands. She left him here¡­yeah, he''d be found for sure. She wasn''t sure where things would go from there; maybe he''d end up coming to her aid when the soldiers mistook him for one of their own. Maybe he''d be imprisoned and in need of rescuing himself. It was a risk either way. And if she encouraged him to make his way through town and try to meet him on the other side¡­well, same risks, except that he might find water on the way, which was something she was unlikely to be in a good position to accomplish herself.


    Rachel felt around until she encountered Malken, then slid up next to him so she could speak in as quiet a tone of voice as she could manage. ?Malken, I''m going to see if I can find Bafubani. We need a beast person if we''re going to get safely down the valley, and she''s our best bet. Can you take the canteens and try to find a well, then meet us on the south side of Henka??


    ?That is risky, but I will try.?


    ?Thanks.? Rachel patted his shoulder and moved back to her pack, finding the empty canteens and water jug she had been hefting with herself by feel and passing them to Malken as quietly as she could. Wait. This was a world without cell phones or GPS.


    Sedgewick, how will we find Malken?


    Place your hand on the human''s arm again.


    Rachel moved back over to Malken, doing as Sedgewick had asked. ?I''ll find you whether I locate Bafubani or not.?


    ?How??


    Sedgewick uncoiled slightly within her mind, and Rachel sensed the steady nima of Malken''s upper arm shift and warp slightly. He sucked in a breath.


    ?What did you just do? That felt¡ªstrange.?


    Sedgewick? ?I¡ªevidently marked you. It won''t do any harm, and will dissipate within a day, but I''ll be able to find you. That shoulder might be a little numb, though. Sorry.? Really? There are snakes who can track prey they''ve bitten based on their venom?


    I have assimilated such before, yes.


    And this isn''t going to harm Malken?


    Beyond a temporary localized numbness, no.


    Good enough. She sensed more than saw Malken moving his arm about, and she could imagine the grimace on his face.


    Alright, she couldn''t think of anything else she needed to do to prepare, and the night was wasting. How are we going to do this, Sedgewick?


    Hold still a moment, and I will adjust your senses. You humans are useless in the dark.


    A few breaths later, and the darkness around her shimmered, flexed, and then broke. Although she couldn''t tell for sure, Rachel was certain color had just fled her world. However, she could see the outlines of the walls, and Malken was shining brightly with one of those non-colors that she was certain were nima or heat. Or maybe a combination of both.


    She looked directly at him, and Malken started then stilled. ?I''m going. See you soon.?


    ?Ah, uh, yes. Good luck.?


    Rachel turned and left, Malken''s whispered words trailing after her. She was nervous, but whatever Sedgewick had done to her senses appeared to have drawn them closer together and his feelings of anticipation of a hunt were bleeding into her own emotions.


    Luck? Who needed luck? She had a giant snake.


    Rachel slid out the door of the building they''d sheltered in, and stalked into the night.

 Styx: 039

    Styx: 039


    Rachel had assumed the hard part would be avoiding patrols or sentries, but with Sedgewick''s senses both Sundlin soldiers and the rare beast person stood out against the darkness like a torch in a cave. She was able to see them coming from the other side of buildings, and the better-equipped ones carried an aura that shone above the roofs to the point she could avoid them from multiple streets away.


    It also didn''t hurt that many of them were carrying actual torches.


    Rachel had worried she''d need to go crawling around or scaling sheer walls or something, but she just strolled along and kept her eyes up.


    Things got a little bit trickier as she drew closer to the main Sundlin camp, because the whole thing was so packed with people and artifacts that it polluted the air around it with heat and light to the extent that individual sentries were more difficult to notice. Thankfully, Henka''s slapdash layout of buildings made staying out of sight straight-forward. There simply weren''t enough sight lines for the sentries to completely cover their border.


    When she''d made it past the outer cordon, Rachel discovered the interior of the camp was going to be more difficult.


    The bulk of the army was evidently camped out just outside of the south-western corner of town, although they were also making use of buildings within the town proper. It appeared the animal people had been trying to push the Sundlins out of the town completely, but with limited success. Mostly the clash seemed to have reduced a number of buildings to rubble without shifting the army much at all.


    Rachel crouched in a partially destroyed building at the very inside edge of the area that looked to have suffered the most in the fighting and surveyed the camp beyond. While the bulk of the army appeared to be sleeping or bedding down in neatly arranged rows of tents, there were still soldiers and non-combatants up and about¡ªmostly clearing bodies away to the south¡ªin addition to the sentries and occasional patrol of soldiers who entered the camp from the town proper.


    As she scanned the area, carefully creeping about the in the shadow of the half-destroyed house she was lurking in, she consulted with Sedgewick. Any ideas for locating Bafubani?


    Try south. They are taking the dead in that direction, and I suspect they are more likely to house prisoners near corpses than soldiers.


    That made a certain sort of sense. And of course if Bafubani hadn''t survived the fight that was likely where she needed to start, regardless.


    Rachel dashed from her hiding place to the next closest cover, quickly looked around for watching soldiers, and then hurried to the next, staying as low as she could. Sedgewick grumbled wordlessly, evidently disgusted with the human body''s inability to properly slither.


    She made it to the south-western edge of the town successfully, though progress slowed painfully as she got closer to the main bulk of the army and had to be more judicious about dodging the people carting corpses out. There was a large lit space just beyond the edge of town that was serving as a staging ground. Bodies were carried in, stripped of equipment and most of their outer clothes by a group of individuals wearing clothes vaguely similar to those Malken had worn when she first discovered him under his wagon, and then were dragged off on crude sledges constructed of fabric and rope into the darkness. Beyond the crude pavilion under which the corpse-looting was going on, Rachel caught sight of a number of large cages. Bingo. Now she just had to figure out how to get over there without being spotted.


    In the end, she had to work her way south of the charnel pits the army had dug, slipping through the sentries to come up on the cages from the south-west. The area was simply too heavily trafficked.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    By the time she took cover behind the outer cages, Rachel was getting worried about running out of time. It had taken the better part of two hours to creep around the southern edge of the camp, and she wasn''t sure how much longer the darkness would last.


    Fortunately, there weren''t a lot of prisoners and no guards to speak of, and Rachel found Bafubani in one of the central cages after prowling through them for a few short minutes.


    The rabbit woman was in pretty awful shape. Blood matted her hair, and the skin on her chest and stomach was red and irritated as if she''d suffered some sort of burn. Numerous small cuts were scabbing over on her legs, and her left arm was clutched tightly to her body with a rough cloth bandage tied around her fore-arm that was stained dark red. Rachel could see the edges of the cut it was securing, and it give how far it spanned her arm it had to be quite deep. Her hammer was nowhere in sight.


    Rachel stood as high as she dared¡ªthe cages only came up approximately to her chest¡ªand looked carefully around. The traffic of Sundlin soldiers clearing corpses had died down to nothing in the time she was circling their camp, and although it was a little hard to tell from the glow being thrown off by the prisoners scattered through the cages she didn''t think there were any sentries nearby.


    ?Bafubani,? said Rachel quietly. When the rabbit woman didn''t so much as stir, Rachel strained to reach through the bars of the cage and shook her leg. ?Bafubani!? Still nothing.


    One moment, said Sedgewick, and Rachel tried to relax as he briefly took control of her body, lifted one arm to the lock on the cage and sucked a bit of nima out, sending it spiraling through her body and into Bafubani. ?Wake.?


    The rabbit woman jolted in place, moaned, and her eyes fluttered open. She looked around in apparent confusion before her gaze locked onto Rachel. ?Who''s there??


    Oh, right. The only actual light was moonlight and residual glow from the main camp behind her and a few dying torches near where the army had been sorting corpses.


    ?Not so loud.? Rachel withdrew her arm, and Bafubani struggled to sit up, shoving herself up against the far side of the cage while she did.


    ?You! What are you doing here??


    ?I came to find you, obviously. We need you, Bafubani. The other animal people are¡ªnot exactly friendly towards random humans in Sundlin uniforms.?


    Bafubani shifted, suppressing a groan as she did so. ?Bring me my hammer, and we can talk.?


    Rachel''s stomach sank. The deranged rabbit could barely move, and she clearly wanted nothing more than another shot at the Sundlin army. ?I have no idea where it is, and there''s no time!? Damn it, she still found Bafubani nearly impossible to read, and she didn''t think debating about the rabbit''s weapon was going to do either of them any favors. Time to try her only gambit. ?Listen, Bafubani. I''m going to open this cage. I''m going to pull you out of it. And then you have a choice to make: will you come with me, help me find my way out of this damn desert, and live? Or will you go crawling after your hammer and die pointlessly trying to kill Sundlin soldiers??


    Bafubani opened her mouth, but Rachel cut her off. ?Before you decide, though, I want you to answer me one question: what would Mani want you to do??


    Rachel held her breath. She had no idea who Mani was, but she remembered Bafubani mentioning the name when they first met, and she''d caught it again a couple of times when the rabbit woman grumbled things to herself on their trip across the desert. That was an awful lot of repetition for someone not present, and given Bafubani''s fixation on killing Sundlin soldiers coupled with Malken talking around the fact that it sounded like the army had razed its way across the desert from the Sundlin empire¡­Rachel had some suppositions about what had probably happened to this Mani.


    Bafubani froze, the muscles in her arms and legs suddenly standing out in sharp relief. ?Damn it,? she whispered. ?Damn it, damn it, damn it!? She crawled across the cage, and thrust her face up close to the bars. ?You never mention Mani again! You know nothing! Damn it!?


    Rachel watched her, trying her best to seem implacable.


    ?Fine!? snarled Bafubani. ?Get me out of here, and I''ll take you south. You and that damned Sunda! But first we find my damn hammer¡ª?


    ?I already told you, I have no idea where it is, and anyway I can carry you, or I can carry your hammer.? She leaned forward, forehead gently coming to rest on her hand where she held to the bars as some of the stress bled out of her. ?And the hammer can be replaced. You can''t.?


    ?Damn it.? Bafubani sounded closer to crying than Rachel had ever witnessed.


    Sedgewick? The lock?


    As her hand moved of its own volition to the lock, ripping nima out and transferring it into the nearby sand as heat while the mechanism inside disintegrated into dust, Rachel looked back to Bafubani where she now slumped at the front of the cage. ?Come out,? she said gently. ?We have a long way to go yet.?

 Styx: 040

    Styx: 040


    Rachel and Bafubani made their way south past the corpse pit, walking out far enough into the desert that they were unlikely to run across any sentries, but close enough for Rachel to still be able to keep the buildings of Henka in sight.


    As they limped along, Rachel''s shoulder wedged under Bafubani''s good arm, Bafubani spoke up. ?I don''t understand you. You''re the world snake, right? Why are you begging me for help? You could have left me with the Sundas and just eaten anything that got in your way.?


    Rachel pondered for the space of a few steps. Aside from when they first met, this might have been the first time Bafubani had actually started a conversation with her, and she didn''t want to waste it.


    ?I''m not the world snake. I just¡­have the world snake inside of me. He can save my life in a pinch, but our connection is a little more tenuous than you seem to think. We''re both still new to this relationship, so drawing on Sedge¡ªthe snake''s help too often puts us both at risk. He''s only able to stay here away from the core of the world because of me, and obviously I don''t want to permanently turn into a giant snake, so it''s in both our interests to lay low.?


    Is sharing this with the prey wise? interrupted Sedgewick.


    Trust goes both ways; given how hostile she''s been since you stopped her from flattening us when we first met, I suspect showing a little vulnerability will make her more likely to help us.


    Bafubani grunted, though Rachel had a hard time interpreting what that meant exactly. Maybe she''d jarred her injured arm. ?What is it you''re after, anyway? You said you were looking for someone, right??


    ?Yes. This may be a little hard to believe, but I''m not actually from this world. My friend was pulled into your world, and I followed to bring him back.?


    ?Like I''d have trouble believing any crazy thing you say,? Bafubani grumbled. ?You swallowed the world snake. You think that sort of thing has ever happened before? Great kami like that are beyond natural disasters. They either ignore you, or you die. You don''t eat them.?


    ?Well. I didn''t have a lot of options at the time.?


    Bafubani snorted. ?If you say so.?


    Rachel let the conversation lapse as she scanned the horizon and adjusted their path to take them a little closer to Henka. She wasn''t actually sure where Malken might be, but she figured they would need to get closer for Sedgewick to detect him. Once she was happy with their course, she turned her focus back to Bafubani.


    ?What about you? What is it you want, Bafubani??


    Bafubani eyed her. ?That''s asking a lot.?


    ?You don''t have to tell me your life story. I just want to know what it is you''re living for. I want your help because it will make it easier for me to get through the desert and find my friend, and because I thought it would be a total waste of your talents to see you commit suicide by army.?Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    Bafubani grunted again. ?Suicide by army. Well, maybe that''s not wholly off the mark.?


    She fell silent, and Rachel kept her peace. Unlike most of their previous interactions, it didn''t seem like Bafubani was silent because she wanted to shut her out this time.


    ?I want to kill as many Sundas as I can reach with my hammer,? she finally said quietly. ?And I guess I did that, thanks to you and the world snake. But here you are, dragging me out of a cage and away from long term imprisonment or execution, and my hammer¡­I don''t know. What do you want from me, anyway?? She practically snarled the last question. There was the Bafubani Rachel knew.


    ?I don''t know what your story is, and you''re under no obligation to tell it to me. But back where I come from, I never really had a family. I was constantly getting passed between more and more distant relations. It wasn''t a hard life, especially compared to trying to get by in this damn desert, but I think to stay anchored people have to be needed by others. When you don''t have anyone who needs you, it''s so easy to just¡ªdrift off in unhealthy directions.? Rachel stopped walking, and turned her head to Bafubani. ?I need you, Bafubani. I need your help finding someone who I need in my life. And maybe once you''ve done that you''ll have a chance to go find whoever it is that you need. Or if that turns out to be heading back here to kill off more Sundas¡­well, at least you''ll have decided on that with a cooler head.?


    Bafubani had averted her gaze, and looked extremely uncomfortable. ?Fine, okay. I already said I''d help you out. Can we get moving, maybe??


    ?Yes, we should. It''s about time we made our way back to Henka so I can see about finding Malken. I really hope he was able to find a well. And avoid getting killed.?


    The two lapsed into silence as they drew closer to the edge of Henka. Following Sedgewick''s instructions, Rachel left Bafubani in one of the near-ruined buildings and took a quick walk through the edge of the town to try and cross paths with Malken.


    Stop, said Sedgewick after Rachel had wended her way around several. The ramshackle way in which buildings were laid out made it really difficult to keep an even distance from the desert.


    Rachel came to a stop, and turned slowly in place. There, ahead and to the right, Sedgewick directed, and when Rachel investigated the building he''d directed her to she found a shivering and disheveled Malken inside.


    ?Finally!? he grumbled. ?I see you didn''t find the rabbit. Well, at least I managed to get water, although let me tell you¡ª?


    Rachel cut in before he could really get going. ?Actually, I did find Bafubani. She''s holed up in a house a little way west. Do you think we should sleep through some of the day??


    ?As much as I hate to say it, no. No I do not. I was almost caught three times by those damn animals, and I overheard a pair saying the last time they''d wait until light to track me down. I really don''t think we should stick around any longer than possible.?


    ?Damn. I was afraid of that.? Sedgewick, are you doing something to keep me alert? I don''t feel nearly as exhausted as I should after staying up all night, but these two are dead on their feet.


    I am passively cycling your nima to allow you to function for slightly longer without sleep, yes. I do not believe we could safely help your human or rabbit friends, unfortunately.


    ?We''ll just have to push through,? said Rachel. ?Here, give me most of the water. I''m feeling a lot better than you at the moment, and if what you overheard is right, we need to get out of here as soon as we can.?


    Malken climbed to his feet and began redistributing the canteens and jugs in and attached to his pack. ?Very well. I have another few hours in me.?


    ?You''re not the one I''m most worried about,? Rachel muttered.


    After redistributing Malken''s load, the two tracked down Bafubani, woke her up from the doze she''d fallen into, and the three trudged off through the sand toward the valley that ran away from Henka to the south-west, the sky lightening behind them.

 Styx: 041

    Styx: 041


    On the thirty-fourth day after leaving Henka behind, Xavier finally entered the Confederate States. The journey had gone by in a seemingly never-ending stint of tiny desert bakuhito towns separated by one or more days'' worth of travel through the desert. Occasionally, the distance between towns was even greater and they had to stop to replenish their water supply at small oases. Xavier doubted he or anyone in his original party would have been able to find their way so relatively quickly, but fortunately for them all, Orion was more than happy to barter away artifacts in exchange for local guides whenever they entered a new town. The man had a seemingly endless supply of the things squirreled about his person.


    It was also thanks to Orion that Xavier finally gained a bit more grounding in the world at large.


    ?Alright, boy,? said Orion from where he sat across from Xavier. The group had just emerged from a scraggly excuse for a forest that bordered the edge of the Tachigare and were currently riding a train into what Orion referred to as "civilized parts". Xavier wasn''t sure how the thing operated¡ªthe whole thing looked a lot like an old-timey steam engine, except without a coal car, and no apparent smoke¡ªand he wished he could be off exploring it with one of the bakuhito rather than getting grilled once again by Orion. ?We''re almost back to civilization, so let''s make sure you aren''t going to out yourself as a total yokel right off the bat. What are the Confederate States??


    Yeesh, they were starting really basic, then. Orion must be bored; he hadn''t quizzed Xavier on this stuff since he''d first explained it way back on their second day of travel together.


    ?The Confederate States are a group of loosely affiliated states running primarily to the west and south of the Tachigare Desert, and are one of the two main political powers on the continent. They were formed around 150 years ago in response to a period of aggressive expansionism on the part of the Sundlin Empire, and although the original driving force was military in nature, the Confederacy has evolved into a legal bureaucracy that mediates between individual states, controls minting and distributing money, and oversees shared infrastructure.?


    ?Good,? grunted Orion. ?Better retention than I''d expected, since I explained all that a month ago. Alright, what about the Society for Progress??


    ?The Society is an organization not directly affiliated with any particular state or political power that is focused primarily on nima research. It''s mercenary in nature, and obtains funding through research grants from various other individuals and institutions. Because the Society legally retains all rights to discoveries made on behalf of its clients barring a period of exclusivity, it is one of the most technologically advanced organizations on the continent and boasts political and military power to rival some states.?If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    ?Good enough.? Orion shrugged, and seemed to lose interest. ?You''ve got a decent memory, so go ahead and get back to your nima training or whatever.?


    Xavier had been spending quite a bit of the trip training with Princess in order to enhance his awareness of nima and ability to manipulate it, but at the moment he was much more interested in staring out of the window as Sumiko and Yukio had been doing since they first boarded.


    The town where they had embarked hadn''t been all that much different from any of the bakuhito towns they had traveled through. A little larger, a little more organized, and with a few more plants growing here and there, but by and large the only difference was that the population was almost entirely human. They''d been lucky enough to arrive only a day in advance of the train coming through, and at this point in its route the few passenger cars were almost entirely empty.


    As they traveled west, however, both the land and the architecture in the towns they passed drastically changed. At this point, although the climate was still warm, he would never have guessed that they were a mere few hundred miles away from an incredibly harsh desert. Cultivated fields and orchards extended miles beyond every town they passed, with scrub-land and occasional woods interspersed between.


    ?The Confederacy is amazing,? said Sumiko softly. She was sitting next to Xavier, and looking out the same window where another large cultivated field was passing by. ?So much water. I knew they were rich here, but I guess I never really understood how rich.?


    ?Rich? These provincials?? Orion snorted. ?We''ve got a few hundred miles to go before we properly get out of the boonies.?


    Sumiko ignored him, which Xavier had observed was her default approach when it came to Orion.


    ?What are your plans, now that you''re here?? Xavier asked. He''d been wondering for some time what the bakuhito were planning to do now that they were out of the desert, but hadn''t found a good opportunity beforehand to ask.


    ?I will see what this Society has to offer. But if that doesn''t work out, I may make my way back this way.?


    ?What would you do in this area?? asked Xavier in surprise. ?It seems pretty heavily agricultural.?


    ?Haven''t you noticed? There are bakuhito working many of these fields. I do not think this area of the Confederacy is quite so segregated as Orion-san has made it seem, and even if bakuhito are rare¡­well, I am skilled at running a hostel, and I imagine a large enough town should have an inn or similar where a bakuhito hostess would increase their custom.?


    ?That certainly sounds like an achievable goal. Though I admit, I''m hoping the Society is interested in hiring you. I would love to have some friendly faces beyond Kahina-san and Orion-san.? Xavier looked down the car where Yukio and Kahina were seated near the entrance. They had learned early on that leaving Orion and Yukio in close proximity was a recipe for disaster. ?I wonder what Yukio-san''s plans are.?


    ?Yukio?? Sumiko laughed quietly. ?He''s probably asking Kahina where the best fighting rings are.?


    ?Fighting rings,? muttered Orion. ?Barbarian animals.?


    Xavier just smiled. ?That sounds about right.?


    Outside, the train banked into a turn and the fields opened up to reveal a large township rushing their way.


    Orion stared out the window glumly. ?I swear this train ride was faster when I was going the other direction.?


    ?Speaking of Yukio-san, I think I''ll go see how he and Kahina-san are doing,? said Xavier. Orion had certainly been a fount of information, and had made their trip immeasurably simpler thanks to the power of money¡­but he drove Xavier nuts.

 Styx: 042

    Styx: 042


    The train pulled into the station in the western district of Takaharu, and Xavier was unable to do anything but stare. For several days, the towns had been growing larger and closer together, but this was the first place in this world that he would have categorized as a full-fledged city. Takaharu''s architecture was also far different from the areas closer to the Tachigare Desert. Houses were constructed primarily of wood and bricks, and were often two or more stories high, arranged in rows with legitimate roads wending between them. There was at least one good-sized hill that Xavier could see from the tracks as the train approached the town, and it was jam-packed with residences. It was hard to tell from this distance, but there seemed to be trolleys trundling up and down the larger streets. It didn''t look much like a medieval town, the way he would have expected given the level of technology he''d seen in use by the bakuhito. Rather it was more like an industrial western European city shortly after the industrial revolution, but with significantly less soot and filth.


    Unfortunately, he didn''t have long to gawk at the more picturesque residential areas; their train pulled aside as it approached the city proper and circled into a more industrial area near a large river. A plethora of train tracks snaked hither and yon, while hulking warehouses and other large buildings without much ornamentation going for them spread out nearby.


    What was odd was that everything was so clean. Xavier hadn''t spent much time in similar areas in his hometown, but Alburn did have an industrial area that he''d driven through on occasion, and he recalled it being very grungy and smoggy. However, while the buildings weren''t by any definition pristine, they looked more weather-worn than dirtied by coal or oil.


    He assumed everything was powered by nima, though he was intensely curious how that actually functioned. Kahina didn''t care, Yukio and Sumiko were as baffled as he was, and Orion went off into technical jargon when he asked that was so dense he only understood about one word in three. There had to be a way to store and extract nima from things other than the pumice-like rocks that they''d used in the desert to create heat, but that had resulted in the rock crumbling into sand or dust. Surely there had to be some sort of byproduct from converting nima into motion for such a large and heavy train. And was there someone up there channeling nima out of rocks or something and into a machine? How did that work exactly? Thanks to Princess''s insistent tutelage on their trip through the desert he was getting pretty good at sensing nima when it was being manipulated around him, and he''d never witnessed anyone transfer much more than was required to heat up a blanket from one object to another. Orion never seemed to bother channeling nima at all; he relied on his various artifacts, but whatever was going on in them was too subtle for Xavier to make out.


    He''d finally tried asking Princess, but she wasn''t interested and freely admitted that she''d never had any curiosity over artifacts. She''d then grumbled strenuously about him keeping her bundled up in his pack. One of the first things he was going to need to do would be to find a proper bag or backpack for Princess, since Orion has warned him to absolutely never leave any of her exposed beyond what he needed to keep in physical contact. Evidently mononoke were so rare they were little more than legends to most people, but were incredibly desired by high powered channelers and artificers, making her a tempting target for theft. Knowing that such a theft would more than likely result in a dead or rampaging thief, Xavier took the warning to heart. Princess was not amused.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    In any case, how nima was used to power large machinery was a mystery, and one he had a feeling he was going to need to figure out sooner rather than later. He was certain that moving between realities required quite a chunk of energy, and given his inability to work nima himself¡ªaside from redirecting and consuming it, that is¡ªhe was definitely going to need the help of some serious artifacts to gain the nima necessary to return home.


    Before he could worry about that, however, he needed to make it through an interview with the head of the Society for Progress''s Takaharu chapter house. He''d been a little nervous when he''d learned that the first thing he would be doing after arriving would be interviewing with some muckety-muck, but things got a lot worse when they disembarked the train.


    ?Kahina-chan, take care of the animals and Zabi-kun, would you?? shouted Orion over their heads as they stepped out on the cramped excuse for a passenger platform that existed in this train yard. It was blindingly obvious that these trains were meant almost exclusively for freight rather than passengers. ?I''ll go ahead to the chapter house and make sure they''re ready for us.?


    ?Yes, sir,? Kahina rumbled.


    Once everyone had sorted themselves and their baggage out, Kahina herded them all away from the platform and into the surrounding street where she grabbed Xavier''s hand¡ªabout halfway through the trip through the Tachigare her discomfort the nima imbalance in her small arm finally outweighed her nervousness over Princess and she''d started getting physical with Xavier once again every chance she got¡ªand led the group down the dirt street. Xavier really, really missed cars, but didn''t get much of a chance to wonder what sort of transportation was used in Takaharu because Kahina immediately started talking.


    ?I think Orion-sensei mentioned this already, but you will all need to undergo an admittance interview before you will be allowed the option of joining the Society for Progress. Even if you decide against joining, as long as you s¡ªthat is to say, you will be allowed a few days of lodging either way.?


    "She just stopped herself from saying ''as long as you survive'', right? I''m not mishearing because you''ve stuffed me in a damn sack, am I?"


    Princess raised a good point. ?Kahina-san, is this interview dangerous??


    ?You''ll do fine.?


    That didn''t answer the question. Or, well, actually it kind of did. Sumiko was giving Kahina a flat stare, though Yukio didn''t seem particularly flustered.


    ?What aren''t you telling us, Kahina-san?? asked Sumiko.


    ?Just¡ªkeep your wits about you. And you might want to make sure any weapons you''re carrying aren''t buried in your packs. Orion-sensei and I would love to give you a day to rest up, but the chair of our chapter is a bit¡­idiosyncratic. New arrivals always interview first thing without exception.? She raised her full size hand palm out. ?I''m really sorry, but I can''t tell you any details. I''ll be in a lot of trouble if they know I even told you that much, but well¡­? She trailed off, and gave Xavier''s hand a gentle squeeze.


    He concentrated, and gave a gentle tug at the nima in her arm, briefly pulling it in faster than his typical passive draw. Kahina jumped. ?I''m not totally helpless, you know.?


    She smiled at him, and shrugged one shoulder.


    Yukio sped up until he was walking even with the two, although he was now basically in the middle of the street. ?Needing to fight for your life for a place to sleep? Sounds fun! Kind of makes me nostalgic, really.?


    ?Nostalgic?? said Xavier.


    ?That''s right, you haven''t met any other neko bakuhito, have you, Zabi-kun?? said Sumiko.


    ?He''s not missing anything,? said Yukio, with a dismissive wave. ?I''m the best.?


    ?Because you''re the least likely to murder him in his sleep.?


    ?Don''t worry, Zabi-kun,? chimed in Kahina. ?The Takaharu chapter chair isn''t a neko.?


    ?You three are doing nothing to put me at ease here,? Xavier noted.


    Kahina gave his hand another squeeze. ?You''ll do great. Guujin-sama loves a novelty, and you certainly apply.?


    "I feel better already," grumbled Princess.

 Styx: 043

    Styx: 043


    The Takaharu chapter house for the Society of Progress was a three- or four-story brick building taking up the entirety of a city block a few streets beyond the apex of the large hill that Xavier had seen as they entered the trainyard. Approaching it from upslope, as they were, it was obvious that the main building spanned the northern downhill edge and partway up the east and west sides of the hill, while the rest of the enclosed area was some sort of compound with multiple buildings surrounded by a brick wall that was itself at least 20 feet tall. Though there appeared to be a gate in the southern wall, it was partially overgrown with a trailing plant that ran rampant over much of the upper brickwork. It looked somewhat like ivy, except when they drew even with the walls the leaves were the wrong shape; more of a fan, like a ginkgo leaf, than the wedges that Xavier was expecting.


    Kahina completely ignored the southern gate, leading them down the hill along the east side of the building. At the corner where the street on intersected with the street at the northern edge of the compound, there was a large staircase leading up to a pair of double doors underneath a tasteful sign covered in several symbols that Xavier found impossible to parse. Wonderful. Looked like the written language used pictographs similar to Japanese kanji characters, except these didn''t look like any kanji that Xavier had ever learned; the lines were all wrong, for one thing. Kanji were often built from common smaller shapes, but this admittedly small sample had nothing in it that Xavier recognized. They almost looked more like overly-complicated Arabic characters than Japanese kanji.


    "I don''t suppose you can read?" he wondered under his breath to Princess.


    "You know many plants that bother with writing stuff down?"


    Yeah, that was about what he''d figured.


    Kahina led the group up the stairs and into a small lobby. A young man stood behind a three-sided wraparound desk near the center of the room, with two doorways behind him; presumably entries into the hallways that stretched to the south and west from here. The walls were mostly obscured by drapes so deeply maroon they were almost black, although here and there were nooks with chairs or small benches. Two large windows filled with partially opaque decorative glass flanked the doors they entered; Xavier wasn''t able to detect any images, though the leading and glass was arranged sort of like a stained-glass window without any stain.


    ?Kahina-san!? said the young man with evident warmth. ?Welcome home.? His smile faded slightly as he took in her left arm, still lightly holding Xavier''s hand. ?I see your search was not entirely successful.?


    ?Not entirely,? agreed Kahina. ?Though not a waste of time, either. Everyone, this is Hinata-san.?


    ?It is good to meet all of you,? said Hinata, bowing slightly to each of them. ?Orion-san gave me a brief description. Zabi-san, Yukio-san, and Sumiko-san, correct? Wonderful. I know you just arrived, but Guujin-sama wishes to see you as soon as possible. If Yukio-san and Sumiko-san would please have a seat here, I will take Zabi-san to see Guujin-sama now. Kahina-san, would you be willing to wait here for a short while? I will fetch Chikao to help me when I return, but Guujin-sama was very insistent that we begin the interview process at once after he''d talked to Orion-san and I''m sure our bakuhito friends would prefer not to wait alone. Thank you. Now, Zabi-san, right this way.?Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    Xavier shot a panicked look at Yukio and Sumiko as Kahina let go of his hand and gave him a gentle push toward Hinata.


    ?Go on, Zabi-san,? she said. ?You''ll be fine.?


    Right. Of course he would. Xavier tried desperately to work through his feelings of panic. Even though she''d warned them, he still was surprised by how fast things were moving now they''d finally arrived in Takaharu.


    As he followed Hinata through the right-most door and down the hall, Xavier took a deep breath and forced himself to think about what Kahina had said. She''d all but flat-out told him this interview would involve combat, but he''d never gained any real proficiency with a weapon. Then again, Kahina knew that but was still oddly confident in him.


    Hmm. Given the amount of artifact use he''d seen in the Confederacy so far, it was a good bet that most combat revolved around artifacts, similar to the way the Sundlin soldiers had almost exclusively attacked from range. And if that were the case, then he had a big advantage, which could explain why Kahina wasn''t stressed about putting him in harm''s way.


    If that were indeed the case¡­Xavier slid one arm out and pulled his pack partway around to his front, then worked open the side pocket that Princess was currently crammed into. "Come on out, Princess. I think we''re going to both need to be a bit more agile than we can manage with you in that pack."


    The mononoke wasted no time, scurrying up Xavier''s arm to his shoulder and luxuriantly stretching across the entirety of his upper back. "Aaaaaah, finally! Freedom!"


    ?Here we¡ª? began Hinata, before cutting himself short as he did a double-take at the sight of Princess. ?Ah¡­that is to say, we''ve arrived. If you''ll just go through this door, I will await your results here. You may leave your pack with me, if you wish.?


    ?Thank you, I will.? Xavier handed the pack across and rolled his shoulders, making Princess clamp down more tightly. "Shall we, Princess?"


    "Let''s rock this thing."


    He shook his head. He still hadn''t figured out whether she really was using turns of phrase specific to his world, or if there was just some weird translation going on since she was technically communicating directly into his brain.


    Before he had a chance to work himself back up into a panic, Xavier pulled the door open and walked in.


    Inside was a plain room without the draperies on the walls that he''d become accustomed to in the foyer and hallway. The only furniture, such as it were, was a row of shelves and hooks along one wall from which dangled a number of melee weapons. Xavier noticed at least two swords, a medium-sized axe, and what he thought was a coiled whip on his quick inspection of the room. He didn''t notice much beyond that however, because he was distracted by the robot.


    Xavier stopped dead, the door behind him almost hitting him in the back as it swung closed. "That''s a robot."


    "A what?" asked Princess.


    It was a robot. There was no question about it. It was humanoid, and slightly shorter than Xavier, with a body made out of some sort of matte, off-white, plastic-looking substance. Its limbs were slim, the joints showing exposed balls like an artist''s manikin. In fact, the whole thing was vaguely reminiscent of the little manikins that Xavier had used in the one art class he took in middle school, although the proportions and sizes were off.


    Its head was completely different, as well. While the shape was again reminiscent of a manikin, the robot had what appeared to be a working mouth and eyes, although no actual nose; just a protrusion that gave it a more human look without any actual holes in it. Its eyes were dark holes surrounded by interlocking plates like a camera shutter.


    Xavier didn''t have any more time to study the thing, however. Almost as soon as the door was shut, its head swiveled his way, the plates around its eyes tightening in focus, and then it was springing toward him with hands held out from its sides and fingers in a wedge shape that looked downright knife-like.

 Styx: 044

    Styx: 044


    Xavier reflexively dodged sideways¡ªrealizing only after he did so that he''d moved away from the wall of weapons, but then again he was more likely to hurt himself than someone else if he had gone for one. Princess cocked several vines up over and around his head, poised to strike out. He hadn''t meant to move, but although he was expecting to be in some kind of danger, he had not anticipated coming up against someone who radiated such cold, killing intent right off the bat.


    The robot or golem or whatever it was simply adjusted its course. Xavier was really bad at split second movements in combat situations, evidently, and had dodged too early.


    Then again, although the thing had taken him by surprise, this fight had been won as soon as he walked in the room and saw the absurd glow of nima flowing through the construct. As he sidestepped yet again in a futile effort to put space between him and the rapidly advancing mobile artifact, Xavier stretched out his hand, grabbed at the air in front of him, and pulled. He still didn''t have a good way to describe the sensation, even after training at it with Princess for hours on their trip south. It was like there was a campfire a step or two ahead of him, but instead of huddling up close to it himself, he grabbed it with his mind.


    The mechanical person skidded to a halt, throwing up an arm, and nima absolutely cascaded out of it, slamming into Xavier in such a torrent that he stumbled slightly. The thing''s arm, suddenly devoid of nima, collapsed downward to hang uselessly at its side. Princess''s vines quivered, but she made no move to lash out; the creature was still just outside of her strike zone.


    ?Enough,? said the machine person in a surprisingly expressive voice, raising its remaining hand palm outward. ?This is clearly my loss. What a fascinating ability you possess.?


    It stilled, eyes dilating slightly as its gaze tracked across Princess and Xavier.


    ?What are you?? asked Xavier, not rising from the partial crouch he''d fallen into as he stabilized his position. ?Who are you? Why did you attack me??


    ?I am Guujin. I am the leader of this chapter of the Society for Progress. I attack every potential entrant when I first meet them.?


    ?Why the hell would you do that??


    The thing¡ªGuujin-sama, he supposed, based on what Kahina had said¡ªcocked its head at him. ?Organics tend to react on base instinct under threat. It is useful data, and provides me some insight into the unconscious thought processes underlying their more complex behavioral patterns. It also permits me to eliminate the occasional threat to myself.? It took a step forward.


    "Tell him no closer!" snapped Princess, and Xavier reflexively dropped back into the crouch he''d been straightening out of.


    ?Stop there!?


    Guujin stilled, glancing between Princess¡ªwho had never dropped her vines¡ªand Xavier. ?Is that creature infesting you??


    ?No.? Given Princess''s hostile attitude, Xavier was reticent to prove the point, however. ?You can verify with Orion-san, Kahina-san, or either of my other companions. But she doesn''t trust you, and I''m not sure I should, either.?If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ?Intelligent and with an accurate grasp of non-human psychology. More interesting still.? Guujin abruptly swiveled on its heel, walked across the room, and pulled a chair that Xavier had not previously noticed away from the wall, sitting down. ?Come. Approach me as close as you are comfortable. You represent an existential threat to my well-being, but I will not attempt to terminate you.?


    "What did he just say?" Xavier muttered.


    "He believes we''re a threat to his life, but he''s not going to kill us."


    Right. Because that certainly made him less nervous. "What do you think?"


    Princess slowly lowered her vines, but instead of wrapping themselves up near her body as per usual, she draped them over Xavier''s shoulders, clearly ready to move at a moment''s notice. "I''ve never seen an artifact capable of speech. From a nima composition standpoint, that thing is drastically more complicated than a human. I haven''t seen that sort of nima manipulation outside of the occasional kami. I am unsure if seeking help from the Society of Progress is worth the risk of staying near that thing, particularly since we are uniquely suited to destroy it."


    "Do you think it can attack at range?"


    "I am unsure what it can do. It was definitely not moving at full speed just now. Based on how the nima was flowing, maybe it could move twice as fast if it wanted?"


    "Faster than you?"


    "Possibly. I would prefer you stand out of arm''s reach, but within range of my vines and with the arm of that chair between it and us."


    "Understood." Xavier advanced, looping around slightly so that he was at Guujin''s side with the arm of the chair between them. Guujin didn''t move, except to turn its head to track him.


    ?Caution. Tactical thinking. Oral communication in a language I have no record of hearing before. Mental responses. Teamwork. Willingness to extend temporary trust in the face of potential threat.?


    ?You''re still evaluating me?? said Xavier in surprise.


    ?I am constantly evaluating everything,? said Guujin.


    ?Why??


    Guujin cocked its head again. Xavier wasn''t sure how to read into that. The complete lack of normal expressions or body language was making him jittery, though he thought the gesture was intended to convey interest or surprise. ?I am what you might call a very advanced artifact. I do not have millennia of instinctual responses encoded in my basic behavior and thus must operate differently than organics.?


    Shit, he''d been right about it being a robot. And based on the way it was interacting with him, it was a far more advanced robot than anything his reality had been able to create.


    ?So what''s your conclusion about me? Are you willing to give me a place to live, help me out??


    ?Our interaction has been inconclusive.? Guujin shifted and Princess tensed, but the robot simply settled back against the back of the chair. ?Orion was right that you possess many traits which would benefit the Society, and which interest me personally. I am curious about your origin and the language you were speaking to the mononoke. However, I am personally not a threat to you. Orion failed to convey that, or I would have observed you under an alternate source of threat. I am not certain whether you represent long-term gain for the society or long-term danger to me. What are your plans, mononoke??


    "I go where Xavier goes," said Princess, and Xavier relayed that.


    ?Very well. I will interview your companions, deliberate with the senior members, and provide you further intelligence tomorrow.? Guujin made a slight humming sound, and Xavier saw the nima deep in his chest swirl against its normal current and do¡ªsomething. He had no idea what.


    ?Please exit out the door you entered,? said Guujin. ?I will remain here to allay your fears, and Hinata will show you to a guest room where you may rest and refresh yourself.?


    Well, that wasn''t quite as good as he''d hoped, but it was better than having the thing attack him again or throw him out on his ear. ?Thank you.? It took a bit of an effort, but Xavier took a deep breath and turned his back on Guujin as he walked to the door at the far side of the room. Princess swiveled her stalk to keep the robot in sight the entire way, though, which made him feel better.


    He really hoped he would get a chance to track down Kahina and interrogate her about this whole weird setup. He wasn''t sure what he''d been expecting, but the leader of the chapter house being a robot was definitely not it.

 Styx: 045

    Styx: 045


    Hinata-san showed Xavier to a room down the hall, told him how to reach the dining hall, and asked him to wait to head there until he heard three bells.


    As soon as the door was shut behind him, Xavier flung his pack down in a corner and collapsed on the bed, Princess crawling off his shoulder to sit nearby. It was possibly the first time he''d been alone¡ªto the extent that he was ever alone, given Princess''s insistence on being in physical contact at all times¡ªin over a month.


    "What the hell is up with this place?"


    He''d meant it rhetorically¡ªhe was talking to himself¡ªbut Princess answered. "It is certainly not what I expected. I would not have believed an artifact could gain sentience if I hadn''t seen it myself, much less lead a group of non-artificial beings."


    Xavier flopped his head over to look at Princess. "I was more talking about the whole ''trial by combat'' thing, but yeah finding a robot in charge was unexpected."


    Princess tilted her flower. "Robot?"


    "Uh, machine? Artificial human?"


    "These must be concepts from your original reality."


    "Yeah, sorry. Anyway, I''m really curious if there are other creatures like this Guujin-san running around. Or is he unique? I thought I had a bead on the genre when I ran into a cat person, but maybe we''re in for a robot uprising?"


    "Ah, right, your assertion that we are characters manipulated by an external agency. Any predictions about where the Society for Progress will fit into this plot?"


    Xavier threw his arm over his eyes and addressed the colored lights that danced on the insides of his eyelids. "I don''t know. I feel like I''ve wandered off the edge of the isekai map. I would have expected to get thrust into some sort of national-level emergency at this point, but maybe we avoided that when we fled the Sundlin army? Then again, it would be pretty classic isekai to have an initial brush with an evil army of some sort, then run into them again after regrouping and gaining abilities¡­which, I guess I kind of have. Huh. That''s not so good."


    Xavier sat up and scooted so he was leaning up against the wall that ran along the far edge of the bed. Princess had her flower pointed his way again, watching him, he supposed, through whatever senses she used. He''d never been able to get a coherent description of how she experienced the world. "So you expect a large-scale conflict to break out in the near future. Fair enough. What about short-term? What will happen with this audition?"Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    Xavier shrugged. "Like I said, I don''t really have a lot to work with. I didn''t get any over-powered abilities when I was sent to this world, which means I have a lot fewer stories to draw on for figuring out tropes. Also, I''m not sure to what extent I''ve been able to force the genre to shift by avoiding some of the obvious conflicts."


    "Well, put it another way, then: what do you want to happen? And will you get what you want?"


    "I want to have Guujin-san accept us into the Society for Progress so that I can maybe get some actual work done figuring out how to get home. But now that I think about it¡­shit, that''s not going to happen that easily, is it?"


    "Why not?"


    "It''s too convenient. There''s two main paths isekai characters walk: either they get tossed into big conflicts they don''t understand, and through shared adversity and being total ass-kickers come to appreciate their new life more than their old one, or they leave the world to its devices, settle down, and slice-of-life it up until they''re so attached to their new life, neighbors, love interest, or what-have-you that they don''t really want to go home. There''s some variation, I suppose, but the important thing is that right when they arrive in the new world and have the highest likely motivation to find a way out, they don''t have any good chance to look for one."


    "And you think it''s too early for you."


    "It''s definitely too early." Xavier looked away. "I''m homesick every day. There''s no way that Guujin-san will simply let us in."


    Princess crawled up into Xavier''s lap and leaned up against his stomach. It wasn''t as nice as having a cat curl up in his lap, but he supposed it would do. He gently ruffled some of her outer leaves. "So you''re predicting Guujin-san will not simply allow us to stay. Noted. I am still not fully convinced about the idea of some predictable plot driving our lives, but your accuracy so far has been unexpectedly high. What will we do, then?"


    Xavier smiled. "We" indeed. "I think we still need the help of the Society for Progress, so we''ll have to see what Guujin-san says. I''m guessing there will be at least one more trial before they''ll actually throw any resources behind us, though, so we''ll have to play that by ear. If we''re lucky, whatever it is will allow us to stay in the chapter house, since we can at least get a feeling for the people and resources here in that case. On the plus side, it didn''t sound like he was going to do any more trials by combat, though I suppose you never know. We''ll just have to rise to the challenge, I guess." Xavier sighed. He was getting sick of rising to the challenge.


    "Well, whatever comes, at least being on edge like this means that it''s safer for me on your shoulder than in that damn sack!"


    Xavier laughed. "Always looking on the bright side, huh?"


    "You know it! So, are we actually going to laze around in this room, or does your narrative allow you to explore?"


    "That''s¡ªa really good question. I can''t really think of any applicable tropes, but curiosity is almost always rewarded, far as I can recall."


    "Well, then!" Princess clambered back up to Xavier''s shoulder, and swung a vine toward the door. "After you."

 Styx: 046

    Styx: 046


    The hallway, when Xavier peeked his head out of his door, was deserted. From Hinata-san''s description, he knew that the dining hall was down the hall to his right and around the far corner. Meanwhile, the entryway and the room where he''d faced off with Guujin was to his left. He briefly considered the left-hand hall, but decided against it. The odds of running into whoever was manning the front desk were too high, and he suspected that would cut any potential exploration time short. "If you see any maids, let me know," he said under his breath to Princess. "They''re guaranteed to be trouble."


    Looking right, he discovered that the next door down had been cracked open and Sumiko''s head was poking out in a mirror to his own. She grinned as their eyes met. ?I see I''m not the only one who is curious about what sort of trouble we''ve landed ourselves in.?


    Xavier stepped into the hallway with a rueful smile. ?Yeah, I was thinking about exploring a little. I''m not a huge fan of just sitting around waiting for someone to decide my fate.?


    The door across the hall flew open, and Yukio bounded out. ?Hey, what''s going on? Is that Sumiko-san I hear? Oh hey, Zabi-kun!?


    ?We were considering doing a little exploring,? said Sumiko. ?You want to join us??


    Yukio frowned. ?I don''t know, guys, I don''t think we should.?


    Xavier and Sumiko both stared at Yukio, non-plussed. ?Uh, Yukio-san?? said Xavier. ?You are Yukio-san, right? You''re not feeling sick or anything??


    ?You''re hilarious,? grumbled Yukio. ?Look, I was the last one who got called out for single combat against that crazy mobile artifact, and Kahina-san and I had a few moments alone beforehand. She explicitly warned me to follow any instructions I was given to the letter today. I get the feeling that curiosity is highly desired once you''re part of the Society, but they''re not too forgiving of outsiders snooping into their business.?


    ?Hmm,? said Xavier. That was problematic. A direct injunction against exploring from Kahina changed the potential risk versus reward a lot. On the one hand, he was tempted to do it anyway; the random coincidence that lead to him learning about it smacked of manga narrative. On the other, this wasn''t his home with a supportive family to back him up and protect him from the consequences of his mistakes. ?Damn it. Well, do you two want to talk in one of our rooms, at least? I really don''t feel like sitting around staring at a wall until dinner.?


    ?Now that I can do!?


    ?What, you? Talk?? said Sumiko in mock shock.


    Yukio grumbled good-naturedly and herded them all back into Xavier''s room.


    ?Alright, spill it,? said Xavier once they were seated in a loose semi-circle on the floor, the bed being the only other real seating in the space. ?What was up with Guujin-san? I didn''t know that sort of thing was even possible.?


    Yukio held up his hands. ?Don''t look at me! I just about had a heart attack when I walked through the door and that thing attacked me. I have no idea what it is.?


    ?I think I''d heard about it before,? said Sumiko softly. ?This was many years ago, but my family''s trade route took us near the Confederacy every few years, and there were some crazy rumors about a living artifact that looked like a human which I''m guessing were about Guujin-sama. I didn''t take it very seriously at the time, but now I wonder how much of what we were told was true.?This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ?Well, don''t hold out on us!? exclaimed Yukio. ?What were the rumors??


    Sumiko looked apologetic. ?I honestly don''t remember very much; I was very. I think the story was something like an eccentric genius in Sunda had invented a living artifact, but it went on a rampage, killed its creator, and fled to the Confederacy.?


    Yukio stared at her in clear disappointment. ?That''s it? Come on, that''s way too vague. I get you heard this as a kid, but they didn''t have any good stories about it? There''s no way.?


    Sumiko shrugged. ?None of the other Araiguma Traders thought it was anything but a tall tale. And we never dealt much in artifacts, so it''s not like it had anything to do with us.?


    Yukio sighed. ?You usually tell such good stories, Sumiko-san, but you clearly lack a poet''s soul.?


    ?Well excuse me, most poetic of cats,? teased Sumiko back.


    Xavier frowned, though not at Yukio and Sumiko''s back and forth. ?So you don''t think there could be other artifacts like Guujin-san??


    ?Well, that was the one thing that my family really cared about, actually,? said Sumiko. ?The follow-up to the story was that a few months afterward when one of the surviving assistants tried to recreate his late master''s masterwork, he was found dead in his lab, with the artifact he''d been working on completely destroyed, and his notes destroyed or missing. Word was there were enough similar instances that it was risky even to trade certain materials that the original inventor had been making extensive use of. I forget what the components were¡ªI was too young to really care at the time¡ªbut I do remember some of the adults taking it seriously.?


    ?Agh, see there you go again! The proper way to tell that would be more like: several of the genius''s assistants tried to recreate their master''s accomplishment, but each time they were found dead in their labs, their creations in pieces around them. And every time the original artifact would be missing for several weeks to a month at a time right around when¡ª?


    Sumiko interrupted him with a lightning-fast smack upside the head, and Yukio fell back laughing.


    Xavier privately wondered how far off the mark Yukio had been, though. Having a high-placed individual with a murderous hidden agenda would certainly be a classic manga plotline¡­not that it mattered much to him at the moment. He''d have to chalk this one down to foreshadowing, and point it out to Princess the next time they were alone.


    ?Did Guujin-san fight both of you?? Xavier asked. ?He attacked me as soon as I walked through the door, although thankfully the practice I''ve been doing with Princess allowed me to stop him pretty quick. We were halfway convinced he was going to try and kill us regardless afterward, though. He said some stuff about us being a threat to him that was kind of disturbing.?


    ?Yeah, he attacked me straight in the door, too,? said Yukio. ?Kind of freaked me out, honestly. I sure wasn''t expecting to face some sort of golem or whatever he is, so I froze up for a few seconds. Dodged his first swing, though, and managed to get my hands on a spear that let me keep him off me after that. We traded a few blows back and forth, then he sped up, disarmed me, and sent me on my way. Freakiest thing that''s happened to me in a long while. What about you, Sumiko-san??


    ?He tried to attack me, as well.?


    Xavier blinked. ?Tried??


    Sumiko shrugged. ?I avoided him, and once I''d maneuvered him into a position from which I could successfully escape out the door I''d come in he stopped attacking.?


    Yukio gave Sumiko a hard look. ?You were absolutely wasted in that wayhouse, Sumiko-san.?


    Sumiko merely smiled at him without offering a rejoinder.


    ?So what did Guujin-san say to you two? Did he let you into the Society??


    Yukio-san shook his head. ?No such luck. Said he''d need to consider things.?


    ?The same for me.?


    ?Huh, I got the same spiel. I wonder if that''s just part of his standard test procedure.?


    Yukio nodded. ?It''s possible. That might explain why Kahina-san decided to warn me against exploring.?


    Sumiko gave him a wry look. ?Or she just knows you.?


    ?Hey! Who was it who tried to sneak off and get themselves into trouble, huh? You two are just lucky I have good hearing and caught you yakking out there in the hall.?


    Xavier laughed. It was good to finally be able to talk with his two friends in private again. He wasn''t sure why he felt more at home with the bakuhito than with many of the actual humans he''d run into, but despite the current uncertainty of what would happen to them all just having them here in his room with him was making his anxiety subside.


    Although come to think of it, the main character relying more on demi-humans than humans was pretty damn common in isekai. Shit, he''d absolutely fallen into that trope head-first.

 Styx: 047

    Styx: 047


    Kahina came and fetched everyone for the evening meal, looking amused when she found them all in Xavier''s room. Xavier had been hoping to be able to scope out more of the members of the Society for Progress, but unfortunately they were still evidently being treated as outsiders: the meal was delivered to a small room clearly set aside for serving guests and with no one there beyond Kahina, the two bakuhito and Xavier himself. On the plus side, the artifacts in display cases around the edges of the room were fascinating¡ªthough Xavier was careful not to get close to the ones that had active nima flowing through them¡ªand they were able to pepper Kahina with questions about Guujin. She was still unwilling to say very much, but she did confirm that he was originally created in the Sundlin Empire. Evidently he was indeed the source of the rumors that Sumiko remembered from her childhood. Xavier wondered how many of them were true.


    When they''d finished eating, Kahina led them back to their rooms where Xavier spent a restless night.


    <hr>


    The next morning, after being invited by Hinata to break their fast in the same guest room they had eaten the previous evening, he led them to the room they originally encountered Guujin where they found the sentient artifact waiting. This time, however, some drapes had been tastefully pulled across the displayed weapons, and a selection of chairs were provided in a semi-circle. Kahina was there, as well, occupying a larger-than-typical chair to Guujin''s right.


    ?Welcome,? said Guujin. ?Please, take a seat. The senior members of this chapter house and I have debated your admittance. We have decided to offer you some temporary benefits of membership, but require a further test prior to extending full acceptance. As we have been unable to reach consensus on an acceptable method of testing within the bounds of the chapter house, we have opted for the atypical step of combining your first field mission with your final admittance test.?


    ?What does that mean?? asked Yukio. ?What''s a field mission??


    ?Under normal circumstances, members of the Society for Progress are vetted over an extended period of time. Once they are admitted to the Society, they typically are sent on a field mission within the first year or two, often to other chapter houses. This encourages building wider bonds across the society, helps broaden views constrained by past geography, and serves as a further evaluation for which members are most suited to long-term field work as opposed to internal research. Based on the feedback from Orion and Kahina, you are uniquely suited to fulfilling a field mission for which we were only recently contracted, which will serve also as your final admittance evaluation.?


    ?What does this field mission involve?? asked Xavier. ?And who will be coming with us??


    ?To answer your second question first, Orion, Kahina, and myself will accompany you, although I will mainly be present in an advisory capacity.?The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Princess grumbled something unintelligible, shifted on Xavier''s shoulder, then subsided.


    ?The mission itself involves traveling east to an area just within the border of the Tachigare Desert, past the bakuhito trading post at Sanzumachi. A semi-permanent Sundlin encampment has been established there, and numerous interested parties have approached the Society in an effort to lease our services to determine the exact purpose of this staging ground. Additionally, we have numerous parties within the Society itself who wish to investigate the nima readings that indicate activity on the part of one of the great kami. Given some abnormalities surrounding Zabi''s abilities and relationship to this mononoke, we wonder if he may be uniquely suited to those aspects of the investigation.?


    Everyone tensed up at that. Xavier felt like kind of an idiot, but¡­ ?What is this greater kami??


    Guujin tilted its head. ?Kahina tells me you have encountered lesser kami several times. The centipedes you fought when fleeing the Tachigare, for instance.?


    ?I thought those were youkai??


    ?An inaccurate term. Youkai is merely a synonym for kami with a human value judgement attached. Useless for scientific discourse. Nima manipulation falls into two broad categories: channelers take nima into their bodies and manipulate it directly to various effect, often changing their physical makeup. The bakuhito are almost universally channelers, and Kahina''s size is the result of ancient, permanent channeling techniques now lost. Artificers manipulate nima using external tools. A kami is a channeler that has greatly exceeded its normal capacity for holding nima, to the point that it is no longer recognizably the same creature. A greater kami holds several orders of magnitude more nima than other kami, and is incredibly dangerous.?


    ?You remember, Zabi-kun,? rumbled Kahina. ?Orion met us because he was looking for me due to a widespread recall of Society members thanks to the movements we had detected being made by the Great Worm.?


    That''s right, Xavier did vaguely recall Orion-san saying something along those lines.


    Guujin nodded. ?Indeed. The ''Great Worm'', as it is colloquially called, is an exceptionally old greater kami that many believed to have died or grown quiescent many years ago. When we detected that it was moving toward the Tachigare there was a great deal of worry.?


    ?And I can help with this why??


    ?Scholars generally believe that mononoke¡ªsuch as the one on your shoulder¡ªare intimately related to an extinct greater kami known as Yggdrasil.?


    ?Oh, yes, that''s true. Princess says she is something like a child of Yggdrasil.?


    Guujin leaned forward. ?Fascinating. The creature lived that long ago? The historians will pay anything for access to you.?


    ?Uh...?


    Evidently noticing Xavier''s distress, Guujin sat back. ?In any case, you may be uniquely suited to any attempt to communicate or derive meaning from the greater kami''s actions, in the unlikely event arise that we run into it. If nothing else, this mononoke could perhaps grant us insight into its movements, should need arise. This is a very unlikely scenario, you understand. We have not had any readings to indicate movement on the part of the greater kami in nearly a month. I merely mention it for completeness sake.?


    ?And if we do this, we will be accepted into the Society?? asked Sumiko quietly.


    ?Pending a review of your performance on the mission, yes.?


    ?May we talk about it? Maybe with Kahina present for the first part so we can ask her questions?? asked Xavier.


    ?Of course. I will give you the day to consider this, and we will meet again in the evening after you feed.? The artifact stood, nodded to them, and exited the room.


    It presumably did not need to "feed" in quite the same way.

 Styx: 048

    Styx: 048


    Although they peppered Kahina with questions, she didn''t have much she could tell them beyond what little Guujin had outlined. In the end, though, there was really only one choice: Xavier accepted the provisional first mission from Guujin. He hadn''t been sure if Sumiko would do so, as well, but she ended up following his lead, and of course Yukio was up for an adventure no matter how dubious and lacking in concrete details.


    As a result, the next morning he found himself once more on a train, though admittedly this time heading along a much different set of tracks. And of course their party had grown by one. Guujin tucked himself into the corner of the train car as soon as they got on it, and was all but completely lost in the voluminous cloak that he was wearing. Xavier presumed he wore it to reduce the likelihood of attracting attention, although in the current heat the cloak attracted attention of a different sort. Xavier declined to ask him about it directly. He and Princess were still feeling pretty distrustful toward the robot.


    One positive aspect of Guujin accompanying them was that Orion had evidently decided that he was part of the judging group with Guujin, and had left Xavier alone so far. Without Orion monopolizing his time, that meant Xavier was actually able to spend time with Yukio and Sumiko. Yukio, in particular, had avoided Orion like a cat avoids water on their previous train trip.


    Another positive aspect of being officially funded by the Society¡ªand heading east along a larger rail line¡ªwas that the train car was much more comfortable than most of their accommodations on their initial trip to Takaharu. Where those trains were mostly intended for freight, with passengers largely an afterthought, this line was intended solely for passengers. It wasn''t exactly a sleeper car from his old world, but at least sleeping in these seats was unlikely to give him splinters.


    Xavier settled in for the long haul.


    <hr>


    Three days later, Xavier and everyone except for possibly Guujin was going completely stir crazy and they boiled out of the train doors like¡ªwell, honestly, what came to mind were those horrible centipedes, but Xavier wasn''t going there. No way, no how.


    Guujin walked off rather more casually and leaned against a nearby pillar while Yukio chased Xavier around in a circle and Kahina did something to her back that made a sound like a rapid-fire gunshot. Even Orion was walking briskly about the platform, luggage abandoned near the station wall.


    At long last everyone got over their burst of hyperactivity, and the six headed out of town. Through some mysterious means, Guujin had managed to get word ahead of them and there was a wagon with a driver waiting. Xavier was not looking forward to a conveyance even more uncomfortable than a train, and the creature pulling the thing appeared to be a bog-standard horse, to boot, instead of something fancy like a giant lizard or miniature dragon. He supposed it beat having to haul his gear, though, and since the interior of the wagon was partially covered, Princess was able to finally stretch her roots without needing to worry about the driver spotting her. That certainly made her happy; although Xavier had been able to track down a bag that hung off his shoulder and provide her a bit more room, she still hated being cooped up inside "dead animal hide."Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    While Princess had her own little romping session, Xavier focused on his companions. ?So, Guujin-san, what will we be doing once we reach this Sundlin encampment??


    ?That will be for you to plan and execute, and me to observe.?


    Lovely. Xavier had been holding out some small hope that Guujin would finally break his days-long silence about the exact nature of their mission, but evidently not. ?Can you at least tell us a little more about what we''re looking for??


    ?I have already outlined this for you. Your goal is to determine the purpose of the Sundlin encampment past Sanzumachi. How you go about doing so is up to you.?


    So much for help from on high. Xavier looked around at his other companions. ?Any ideas??


    ?We should find a wayhouse as soon as we can in Sanzumachi,? said Sumiko. ?That will get us off the streets, although not ahead of the gossip. Yukio and I are best suited to digging up the rumors about the purpose of the encampment. It is impossible that a large presence of Sundas nearby will not have made itself known in Sanzumachi in some way or another.?


    ?I could feel out who is hiring mercenaries, and why,? rumbled Kahina. ?You would probably be most useful with me, Zabi-san. A human tagging along with the bakuhito is likely to make it more difficult for them to get straight answers. Though at least one of them is unlikely to get any straight answers either way.? She gave Yukio a nod.


    Yukio shrugged. ?Not a problem. As long as I don''t run into any other cats, I''ll be fine. And people will tell me different things than they would Sumiko, anyway.?


    Xavier wanted to ask what would happen if he did run into any other cats, but supposed this was not the time. ?So once we''ve gathered a bit of intelligence??


    Yukio grinned. ?We meet back at the wayhouse and figure out if we need to flee into the desert or not! And then we can make actual plans for infiltrating or observing the encampment.?


    ?Flee into the desert??


    Sumiko nodded. ?An army that close is going to put a lot of pressure on the town. It''s very likely that there will be some who would inform the Sundas about any strangers poking around after them. Given Sanzumachi''s close ties with the Confederacy, that''s not a huge risk, but if there are people who are too interested in us, we may need to be careful about staying in one place for too long. For that reason, Guujin-san, I would like to request you remain in the Wayhouse. You would be a dangerous sort of novelty for a bakuhito town under threat from the Sundas.?


    Guujin nodded. ?Of course. Orion and I will ensure the safety of your belongings and lodgings while you are out.?


    Sumiko bowed slightly.


    "Well!" remarked Princess, who had finally quit scurrying around and curled around Xavier''s ankle¡ªhe barely noticed the vine she kept in contact with is head snaking up and around his side anymore. "This certainly sounds like loads of fun! And I expect I''ll be trapped in that damn cow sack, hm? Just wonderful."

 Styx: 049

    Styx: 049


    Rachel, Bafubani, and Malken crouched at the lip of a ledge partway up the steep canyon walls that bounded the far end of the Keikoku Valley and peered down at the Sundlin force arrayed across the breadth of the valley floor.


    ?Well, this is a problem,? said Rachel.


    ?Is it?? replied Bafubani. She was joking. Probably. They''d had several close calls with Sundlin soldiers on their month-long trip down the valley, and Bafubani hadn''t tried to murder a single one yet. Rachel guessed if there was anything that was going to cause a relapse, though, the small army that lay between them and their goal was it.


    The encampment didn''t stretch all the way to the canyon walls, but had obviously been there long enough to build basic fortifications, so the simple watch towers overlooking the edges would make slipping past without detection difficult, if not impossible given the lack of any real cover. Using the river wasn''t an option, either; at this point it wended straight through the center of the camp.


    ?We''re so close!? griped Rachel.


    ?We dodged those Sundlin patrols and escaped the bakuhito search party,? said Malken affably. ?You''ll find a way around this obstacle.?


    Rachel glared at him. Malken had been unforgivably blas¨¦ about facing any sort of danger ever since she and Sedgewick had dealt with the nest of kami vipers they''d stumbled into while desperately trying to avoid being tracked down by that pack of bakuhito.


    Bafubani, on the other hand¡­ ?Let''s cause some havoc and slip through in the chaos.?


    Rachel had evidently convinced her throwing her life away was a waste, but she was still didn''t have a risk-averse bone in her body.


    ?And how¡ª?


    ?Look, I think that''s the bulk of their supplies over near the far eastern edge of the camp. That''s right near the river. We float in under cover of darkness, find something that will go boom, and we''ve got a perfect distraction to hop into some soldier''s uniforms and "patrol" our way straight through to the other side.?


    Sedgewick?


    I do not know how deep the river flows here. If it is sufficient to hide our presence, though, getting in and causing a distraction would be possible. The rabbit is correct that there are a good number of nima-rich artifacts concentrated in that area.


    ?Well,? said Rachel. ?Lovely. We''ll just send Malken in to do the deed, I suppose??


    Bafubani snorted, but otherwise didn''t rise to the bait. She and Malken had reached an uneasy truce over the course of the first couple weeks of their journey through the desert, but the rabbit woman still didn''t like him much, or think highly of his skills.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ?Malken, do you think Bafubani''s plan would work? Minus sending you in alone, of course.?


    The former priest squinted down the valley. His eyesight wasn''t anywhere near as good as Bafubani''s, much less Rachel''s which was currently enhanced by Sedgewick. ?I think Bafubani is likely correct about the supplies being on the eastern edge, and if so there should definitely be something in there that would cause a big distraction if you got your hands on it. Whether we could walk through the camp afterward, though¡­hmm. I expect those nearby will rush to secure the supplies, but those further away should immediately try to reinforce the perimeter. We could likely get quite far through the camp posing as messengers, but the trick would be getting out the other side without being spotted or taken as deserters. I still think we would be better off back-tracking and trying for the top of the canyon.?


    ?That plan was how we ended up in this particular mess,? snapped Bafubani. There was some truth to that. Bafubani had spied the ledge from further along the valley, and they''d hoped that it would prove a midway staging point to climbing up to the top of the canyon wall. Unfortunately, the nearby cliff was incredibly steep and without a lot of good handholds. Sedgewick thought he could get Rachel up it, gave even odds to Bafubani, and was certain Malken would end up taking the quickest way back down to the valley floor. Rachel had learned to trust Sedgewick''s appraisals, so the three had been resting prior to their descent, taking advantage of the much-improved view the ledge provided them of the Sundlin camp in the meantime.


    As the other two lapsed into silence, Rachel chewed on her lip and pondered. When she came right down to it, she was sick and tired of sneaking through the desert. The last month or so had been one long, horrible slog despite their proximity to the river. They''d been forced to loop around into the desert proper more than once, climbing the increasingly-steep valley walls to avoid bakuhito towns. Thanks to Sedgewick, water and food were never much of an issue¡ªhis ability to locate small prey animals and pull potable water out of just about anything was a godsend¡ªbut at this point, she would kill for a bath.


    Of course, if they waltzed into the middle of the Sundlin camp, she might end up literally killing on her way to a bath, and once again these people hadn''t done anything to her. Although she was certain they would happily chase her around the desert like their brethren to the east if given half a chance.


    Climbing the cliffs was not a good option. Aside from the safety issues, she was certain there would be lesser kami up there drawn by the Sundlin''s camp. Just about every time they''d pushed further into the desert near a settlement they''d run afoul of something, even if despite being ill-equipped most of the lesser kami were ridiculously easy for them to kill or scare off. She didn''t doubt they could push through whatever might be lurking up there, but it was sure to be noisy and then they''d draw Sundlin attention anyway.


    Sneaking by on the periphery just didn''t seem likely. The terrain offered little to no cover, and the Sundlin''s vantage on their watch towers was incredibly problematic. They could backtrack and go up the cliff a day''s travel up the canyon, but dammit she wanted that bath.


    What would make sense from a narrative perspective? Well, that was easy enough to answer. A known hostile force in their way, horrible odds, and a plan the "just might work with a little luck"? It was obviously where they were supposed to go for the greatest dramatic impact. Come to that, she doubted the plot would allow them to sneak past unawares even if they went for it. Not enough conflict or explosions.


    Hm, explosions. She eyed the watch towers that stood at intervals along the far edges of the camp. That might do the trick.


    ?I think I''ve got an idea, but we''re going to need to get off this cliff and wait until dark.?


    Malken eyed her glumly. ?I''m going to get stuck with the baggage again, aren''t I.?


    Rachel patted his shoulder. ?Cheer up! I''ll be off doing my best to explode stuff.?


    ?I like where this is going already,? said Bafubani with a grin.

 Styx: 050

    Styx: 050


    On the upside, there didn''t seem to be a lot of supporters for the Sundlin Empire in Sanzumachi, so Xavier and his party were able to stay in the town rather than camping out in the desert. On the downside, virtually no one knew what the army was doing, either. There was certainly rampant speculation, and plenty of fear, but not a lot of useful information. The encampment appeared to be keeping itself pretty well to itself, aside from a show of force when it first arrived that devastated a few of the buildings on the east edge of town, and the residents of Sanzumachi were by and large fearing the worst. Rumors ranged from Sundlin staging an invasion of the Confederacy to a concerted effort to wipe out the bakuhito to developing some sort of crazy powerful weapon that would allow them to rule the world to founding a town so they could take over the desert trade routes as part of some sort of byzantine plot that would result in the end of the world.


    The old bakuhito man who attempted to convince Sumiko of that last one had a surprising number of details to back up his story, but Sumiko had assured Xavier that even if crickets developed into youkai¡ªor kami, as Orion insisted on calling them¡ªthat they wouldn''t develop a hive mind and attempt to take over the world through a puppet state. They''d just eat their way through anything in their way.


    Xavier honestly didn''t feel that last bit was as comforting as Sumiko evidently thought it should be.


    Thanks to the lack of useful information, the group had eventually decided that they had no choice but to try and infiltrate the Sundlin encampment and see what they could find.


    This was easier said than done. Yukio, Sumiko, and even Kahina spent several days scouting out the camp, but it evidently had well defined borders, not a lot of options for cover on the approach, and  primitive watch-towers spaced around the edges. Sumiko had a route that could get them most of the way, but was unsure if they would actually be able to penetrate the border of the camp. And of course if they did, they would need disguises, because even in the dead of night a camp this large had a fair amount of activity and was reasonably well-lit: soldiers keeping odd hours, since they had very little to do; people heading to the latrine pits that were dug a ways outside of the main borders; people working on preparing food for the next day.


    To Xavier''s surprise, when they discussed who should infiltrate the camp, he was on the short list. Aside from his humanity providing him with a basic built-in disguise, his status as a null might actually come in handy if there were any artifact-based security measures. The others may or may not be able to detect such things, but none of them had safe ways to disable them. After much debate, they settled on only Sumiko and Xavier making the first attempt to scout a way into the camp, since they were the two who would most likely be able to pass as Sundlins if they could get their hands on some uniforms. Meanwhile Yukio and Kahina would be overlooking the camp from the edge of the canyon in hopes that they could provide support if Sumiko and Xavier needed to suddenly make a run for it.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Xavier thought it was a terrible plan, but wasn''t sure what else to suggest. He still hadn''t been able to think up any good alternatives to seeking the help of the Society for Progress, and Guujin was watching. Besides, he didn''t think failure was likely to result in anyone dying, at least. He was pretty sure if it were that kind of plot he''d have seen a casualty by now.


    As Xavier carefully followed in Sumiko''s wake as she stealthily approached the lit sand that signified the border at which the watchtowers would have the best visibility he found himself trying very hard to convince himself that this was definitely the case. His head was convinced; his nerves, not so much.


    She paused in the shadow of a prickly-looking bush that rose slightly above Xavier''s waist. Xavier crouched down next to her.


    ?This is the last of the good cover I was able to locate,? Sumiko breathed in the lowest voice she could without whispering. Evidently whispering carried farther. ?We''ll have to go one at a time for the next bit, unless I wave you on and then you run for me as fast and low as you can. Got it??


    Xavier swallowed. It didn''t help. ?Got it.?


    Sumiko nodded and turned her attention to the nearest watchtower. They waited there for what seemed an eternity, before she suddenly launched herself out at a crouching, fast walk until she reached a low mound of rock that she lay alongside. She held up her palm in a clear signal for Xavier to wait, then rolled out from the rock and crawled to a bush much like the one he was hiding behind, but far smaller.


    She stayed crouching behind the bush for several seconds, before waving at him. "This is awful," Xavier muttered to himself, and then did his best to replicate her fast walk to the rocks before throwing himself down behind them. His heart was hammering and he felt like he should be booking it away from here as fast as possible. He was not a stealthy person, damn it! Also, this was not a normal way to use your legs!


    "You''re doing great," Princess assured him. "I''m watching the Sundlins, too, and they''re barely glancing this way. Sumiko came up with a smart approach."


    They kept going moving in starts and stops, zig-zagging across the landscape until in a last heart-pounding moment Sumiko gestured urgently and Xavier found himself chasing after her and into a ditch that lay near the base of one of the watchtowers.


    They had to step carefully once they were in the ditch, thanks to the intermittent wooden stakes. If Sumiko hadn''t been there to catch him, Xavier was fairly certain he would have impaled himself on one in his mad dash after her.


    They lay in the shadow of the ditch, Xavier breathing hard. Can''t they hear us? he mouthed at Sumiko, but she just put a hand to his lips and shook her head. He wasn''t sure if she''d actually understood or not.


    "If they could hear you, there''d be a commotion right about now, don''t you think?" asked Princess.


    He supposed that was true.


    They''d been lying in the ditch for long enough that both their breathing had evened out, and Xavier was starting to wonder if Sumiko would ever decide to move further, when the first whumpf of a distant explosion sounded, and debris fountained into the air farther up the valley.


    "Well, that''s as good an invitation as you''re likely to get," remarked Princess, and then Sumiko had hold of Xavier''s hand and was pulling him in a mad scramble up the ditch and into the camp proper.


    There was no way he wasn''t going to regret this.

 Styx: 051

    Styx: 051


    Had she been told sneaking into a camp full of soldiers who would happily attack her was going to be fun, she would have assumed the person talking to her was nuts.


    But Rachel had to admit it: she was having a great time. Unlike their first run-in with Sundlin soldiers, not only were Rachel and Sedgewick able to plan out their approach beforehand, but they''d had a month to acclimate to one another. Rachel was getting better at manipulating nima directly, and Sedgewick was much more confident in his memory of her actual body, which allowed them to work in tandem with both supplementing the other''s strengths.


    And it was a lot of fun. They''d slid into the river, which was surprisingly cold right up until Sedgewick tweaked her metabolism and then it just felt like another temperature. Not comfortable, exactly, but not inimical the way drastic temperature differences typically felt. As she swam downstream, Rachel barely had to come up for air since Sedgewick was pulling oxygen directly out of the water in small quantities, making her initial deep breath last much, much longer than she''d expected. Then they''d worked their way out, located a stash of unused uniforms in a tent near the river''s edge that was clearly being used by the support staff who were managing the logistics of providing for a group of this size, and walked straight into the area full of supplies without being challenged.


    At that point, the real fun began. Rachel carefully selected a group of devices that were small enough to conceal, but packed so full of nima that they were guaranteed to set off a nice reaction, and through a combination of walking as if she belonged and carefully slipping through the cracks in attention of the camp''s denizens, she successfully planted them at the base of several watchtowers along the northern edge of the camp.


    At that point, it was simply a matter of overloading one of them from a distance, and watching the tower explode outward in a raging blast of nima. Of course, soldiers came pouring out of the woodwork, but they never paid any attention to Rachel. Some of them were even kind enough to escort her away from the location under "attack". She took the opportunity to saunter over to a watchtower on the southern side of camp, plant another device, and happily exploded that one, too.


    Chaos reigned. Evidently no one was having any luck figuring out how their watchtowers were being destroyed, and it kicked off a massive hunt for burrowing youkai, which Sedgewick thought was hilarious. He liked it even more when a pack of actual youkai descended the cliff where Rachel had set off her secondary distraction and punched through into the interior of the camp through the hole she''d left in its defenses.


    As soldiers rushed every which way, Rachel walked westward, confident that Bafubani and Malken were even then creeping past the northern edge of the camp in the dark. She and Sedgewick both kept their senses peeled for artifact usage to the north, but the fortuitous youkai invasion evidently was enough to keep sentries on both sides of the camp sufficiently panicked that Rachel didn''t even need to overload any more of the artifacts she was carrying.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    It wasn''t until she was halfway across the camp that Sedgewick commented, What a strange creature. I wonder what on earth a Sundlin is doing with it? and Rachel turned and found herself face-to-face with Xavier.


    <hr>


    Xavier was hurrying through the enemy camp, hoping against hope that no soldiers noticed how poorly fitting his uniform was and desperate not to lose track of Sumiko, when a Sundlin staff member who had been hurrying the other way grabbed his arm, and said in disbelief, "Xavier?"


    He froze. He hadn''t heard his name¡ªhis actual name¡ªsince he''d gone to sleep in his own world. His eyes snapped to the face of the woman who had stopped him, and he almost didn''t recognize her. She was tanned, dirty, hair brutally tied back in a dingy blob, and more than anything she just didn''t belong there. It took him several seconds before his disbelieving brain could catch up to what his eyes were seeing. "Rachel? Wait, seriously, Rachel?!"


    Her face changed before his eyes. The corners of her eyes crinkled up, her mouth turned up in a huge smile, and his doubts fell away. It was undeniably Rachel. "I found you!" she said, and bear-hugged him. He was so surprised he hugged her back without thinking.


    "Ack! What are you doing?!" cried Princess, squirming where the satchel she was riding in had gotten caught between their hips. "Enemy camp, remember!"


    Someone else felt the same way. ?Zabi-kun, you idiot! What are you thinking?!? snapped Sumiko, and bodily dragged the two of them aside into the shadow of a nearby tent. She grabbed both their shoulders and forced them apart. ?Who is this? What the hell are you doing?? This last was directed at Rachel.


    ?Ah, sorry! Sumiko-san, this is¡ª? Xavier froze. He hadn''t seen her move, but Rachel had a hand gripping Sumiko''s forearm and an expression on her face like nothing Xavier had ever seen.


    ?Release us,? hissed Rachel.


    "That can''t be¡­" muttered Princess, but Xavier barely noticed.


    ?Uh, Rachel, Sumiko-san? Could you two please let go of one another? Look, Sumiko-san, this is Rachel, she''s someone I know. She''s not a threat, okay?? Wait, us? Oh, he had a very bad feeling about this.


    Sumiko ignored him. ?What are you?? she demanded through gritted teeth.


    Rachel pushed upward, forcing Sumiko''s hand off her shoulder. Sumiko''s arm briefly shook from the strain of resisting, but as soon as she started to try to pull her arm back toward herself, Rachel released it. Sumiko went for the knife at her waste, and Xavier dove in between the two. ?Stop it! Damn it, Rachel, Sumiko-san is a friend! Rachel, what do you mean¡ª?


    ?Just what is going on here?? demanded a strident voice.


    Xavier glanced over his shoulder to find a Sundlin officer staring at them in anger. "Shit."


    He was looking the wrong way, so all he saw was the look on the officer''s face shift toward surprise and alarm, and then Rachel had whipped past him, slapped a hand against the man''s chest, and with a burst of nima the man collapsed like a rag-doll. Sumiko whipped past on Xavier''s other side, caught the officer mid-fall, and dragged him quickly backward into the tent behind them after a cursory peek through the door.


    Rachel stepped after the two, pulling Xavier along. "Inside, now. We can talk things over once we''re out of sight."


    "Xavier," said Princess as he started to follow Rachel into the tent. "You know this woman? She''s from your original reality?"


    "Yeah, she''s a¡ªclassmate, I guess."


    "Hmm," said the mononoke, and lapsed into silence.


    Xavier had the sudden irrational impulse to run the other way. He just knew he was not going to enjoy whatever confrontation he was walking into, and they still hadn''t found any evidence to show what the Sundlin army was up to.


    And to run into Rachel. Here of all places, and wearing a Sundlin uniform. The narrative this time around was too cruel.

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    Styx: 052


    Xavier entered the tent to find Rachel and Sumiko facing off across the prone form of the unconscious Sundlin officer.


    ?Please don''t attack one another!? said Xavier in a frantic whisper. ?Sumiko, this is Rachel and she¡ª?


    Sumiko swiped two fingers in the vicinity of her mouth. It had taken him a while when he''d first gotten to know her, but Xavier had finally figured out the gesture meant "shush." ?You be quiet, Zabi-kun. What are you, girl? You can''t be a Sunda. You''re not human.?


    ?I''m human,? said Rachel calmly. ?I just have¡­a little extra help. In any case, if you keep your hands to yourself, I have absolutely no quarrel with you.? She looked to Xavier, her expression noticeably softening. "Xavier, what are you doing here? I thought for sure I was going to have to try and track you down in this Confederacy or whatever it''s called, but here you are! I would have walked right past you if¡ª"


    Sumiko broke in. ?Speak a language I understand.?


    ?Ah, sorry Sumiko-san!? said Xavier hurriedly. ?Look, I didn''t get a chance to say, but this is Rachel. She''s someone I knew from before I¡ªcame here. I really don''t think she was trying to threaten us. Rachel, what are you even doing here? What happened??


    ?What happened?? Rachel broke into a grin. ?Your parents bought a new mattress, and after we''d planned things out as best we could, we stuck it on your bed frame and I slept there until I got transported into the middle of this god-forsaken desert. Not that our planning came to much, since all my supplies got lost when Sedgewick showed up, but things worked out in the end.?


    ?Are you fighting for the Sundlin army??


    ?What? No, they''ve been chasing us around whenever they catch sight of us. Why would I be working for them??


    That was a load off; when he''d taken a moment to think, Xavier had been pretty worried about that Sundlin uniform since multiple transfers into the same world almost inevitably ended up on different sides of whatever conflict was running.


    "You''re asking the wrong things," said Princess. "Who is Sedgewick?"


    That was a good catch. Xavier repeated the question.


    ?Oh, uh, I guess I didn''t really explain that, did I? It''s just what I call him, he doesn''t actually have a name. I think Bafubani called him the world snake? He''s helping me out until we can get home.?


    That grabbed Xavier''s attention. ?Do you know a way¡ª?


    But Sumiko interrupted him. Almost faster than he could track, she quick-stepped around the Sundlin officer, and grabbed Xavier''s arm. ?We need to go, Zabi-kun. Right now. We''ll head straight for the northern border of the camp, signal Kahina-san and Yukio-kun, and get out.? She nodded to Rachel, who was watching her warily, that strangely hostile look back on her face. ?You can come with us, if you want.?Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ?What? Sumiko-san, why¡ª?


    ?Xavier is not going with you, racoon,? hissed Rachel, and Xavier froze. That did not sound like Rachel. Her eyes glinted strangely in the darkness, and Xavier felt as if someone had drawn a finger down his spine.


    Sumiko didn''t budge, though her grip tightened on Xavier''s arm. ?Let us go, great kami. We have no quarrel with you or your vessel. We will exit this camp¡ªhelp you exit the camp, if you wish¡ªand you never need see us again.?


    ?What? Sumiko-san? No, Rachel¡ª?


    ?That is not the friend you once knew anymore, Zabi-kun. Now be quiet.?


    Xavier was at a loss. The things Rachel had said¡­could it be true that she''d done something irrevocable when she arrived? Was she really not the person he''d known?


    ?Talk to your partner, little plant,? said Rachel¡ªor whatever Rachel had become. ?What is it that you sense??


    Wait, she knew about Princess?


    The mononoke in question slid herself out of his satchel, whipping a few vines around his chest and shoulder to pull herself up to rest next to his head. She turned her flower toward Rachel, and tilted it back and forth twice. "I think Sumiko is making a wrong assumption, Xavier," she finally said. "I''ve never seen anything like this; as far as I can tell, the great kami is contained inside your friend, but they''re working together in concert."


    Sumiko gave his arm a tug. ?What did the mononoke say??


    ?She thinks you''re wrong about Rachel, Sumiko-san. She''s still my friend, but with something else, too. Inside her? I don''t really get what Princess is trying to say.?


    ?Hm.? Sumiko finally relinquished his arm, dropping back onto her heels. The tent was short enough that crouching was far more comfortable than trying to stand. ?What is it you want, great kami, or whatever you''re calling yourself??


    Rachel''s eyes flattened out in the gloom, losing their shine as she returned her focus to Xavier. Evidently she didn''t feel the need to answer Sumiko. ?Xavier, Sedgewick thinks he''s figured out a way for us to get home. What are you waiting for??


    Well, that completely changed the math. Xavier was surprised; he would have thought if someone showed up with a way home, he''d jump on it, but his first instinct was the feeling that he needed to see through his current mission, make sure his new friends were able to get into the Society of Progress, and then maybe¡­but this was the trap protagonists fell into, wasn''t it? They made new friends. Formed new bonds. Gained new powers. And their old family and friends faded, like those old sepia photographs, so that when push came to shove they always chose to stay in their new, fantastic world rather than return to their ordinary lives.


    Maybe he could make a difference here. Maybe his weird, uncomfortable partnership with Princess could lead him to discover some crazy power to directly affect the world that he would never gain in his non-magical reality. His parents, his friends; they''d already lost him. It wasn''t like they could lose him more. All he had to do was refuse to leave just yet, help Sumiko and the rest out, and there would definitely be something that kept him just a little longer after that and a little longer again, until years and homesickness passed and he truly could imagine living nowhere else.


    It was surprisingly tempting. But¡­ "I''m not a protagonist." He never wanted to be a protagonist, he just wanted to be himself. To hug his mom and dad again. Go to school and learn as much as he could about crazy, non-magical magic in his own world. Fall in love with someone who didn''t have animal ears. He''d made new connections here, but this world was sand and pain and struggle, and all of it was plot, not his life, damn it!


    ?I''m sorry Sumiko-san. I want¡ªI need to go home.?

 Styx: 053

    Styx: 053


    Rachel had taken one look at Xavier and known that if she didn''t get him out of this world as fast as possible, he was never coming back.


    "It''s going to be a tall order, but your best friend is speed," Bill Brock had told her during one of their late night planning sessions. "Non-reincarnation isekai all follow the same basic pattern. The protagonist gets thrown in over their head, they get embroiled in some big conflict, and they pick up a few bosom pals. Then after enough time has passed that they''ve integrated into their new world, they might be given an opportunity to come home but they decide to stay of their own volition. You''ll be in equal danger of that, of course, if things take too long, but Xavier''s been there for longer than you, and if he''s got protagonist status then the hooks will be a lot deeper. As soon as you find him, you need to disrupt his status quo and get him out of there as fast as humanly possible."


    Bill had frowned, staring into the distance. "Honestly, Rachel, I don''t think you have very good odds. This is one of those genres where you''re not fighting just genre conventions, you''re fighting a whole ''nother world. You sure you want to try this?"


    "Yes. I¡ªI have to try."


    He''d looked away, eyes moistening. "Well. You''ve got the best shot of any of us."


    Later that night, Hana Brock had drifted up to the doorway of the upstairs bathroom in that spooky way of hers while Rachel was brushing her teeth. "Rachel, we want you to know: if you manage to find Xavier and he cannot or will not return, but you have found a way to bridge our worlds¡­come back to us. You are a part of this family, too."


    Feeling as if she were about to choke on her toothbrush, Rachel hadn''t been able to do anything but nod. Hana patted her on the shoulder and glided back into the darkness of the hall.


    She''d sworn then that she would find Xavier and bring him back or die trying.


    <hr>


    Now here she was, facing those critical first moments that Bill had warned her about, and she could see the indecision in Xavier''s face. He wanted to stay, and her stomach took a dive for her feet. He clearly had more friends than just this racoon girl holding him back, and the plant-thing was in constant physical contact with him; she hated to think what that meant. She held her breath, wondering frantically what she would do if he found some excuse to stay just a little longer, but then¡ª


    "I''m not a protagonist."


    Sweet relief; she''d done it. She didn''t even catch what he said next to the racoon; her mind was already calculating the quickest way out of camp. Should she try and find Bafubani and Malken? But no, that was a distraction. She felt awful about abandoning them, but they had good odds of making it past the camp and over to the Confederacy where they''d presumably be safer. They''d helped her, she''d helped them, and there wasn''t any need to try and balance those scales further. She needed to get Xavier out of this tent, back to the Sundlin supplies, load up as much as they could, and then head back up the valley before the chaos died down.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    The racoon was a problem, but¡ª


    ?I''m coming with you,? said the woman¡ªSumiko, Rachel recalled.


    Xavier blinked, obviously blind-sided. ?What? Sumiko-san, no, you''ve got to let Yukio-san and Kahina-san know I''ve gone. And I''m sure we could at least help you make it to the command tent, couldn''t we Rachel? I''m going home, but you still need to pass the Society''s test.?


    ?I don''t trust this friend of yours.? Sumiko waved toward Rachel. ?I can duck into the command tent on the way, if necessary, but I''m going with you for at least a few days so I can be sure this kami doesn''t want to simply eat your mononoke and leave you for dead.?


    Rachel cocked her head. ?You''re being awfully blithe about that. If you think I''m so dangerous, why would you say something like that to my face??


    ?I believe I know what you are,? said Sumiko, angry but more respectful than she''d been earlier. ?Frank honesty is the policy that is most likely to keep me alive.?


    Well, she''s not wrong about that, said Sedgewick with amusement. For a snake who had been threatening the racoon girl moments before, he seemed oddly taken with her now. She has dealt with reasonably powerful kami before, I expect. We can usually tell when someone is lying, and so many people do it to save their own skins that frank hostility is worth leaving alone merely for the novelty.


    Not now, thought Rachel in irritation.


    Xavier had been trying to argue with Sumiko, but Rachel cut him off. ?Fine, Sumiko can tag along until she''s satisfied that I''m not going to snack on you or something. Look, we need to go; my distraction out there is dying down already.? This was unfortunately true. She''d been monitoring the nima flow, and it was obvious that the lesser kami were being pushed back out of the camp, and order was generally restoring. ?Why do you want to visit the commander''s tent, anyway??


    ?We need to find out why the Sundlin Army is camped out here,? said Sumiko. Xavier appeared to still be processing the fact that Rachel was alright with Sumiko coming along.


    Rachel shrugged. ?I can tell you that; I''ve been traveling with an ex-Sundlin for the better part of a month. Let''s go. We need to get out of here before Sedgewick is forced to cause a scene.?


    Sumiko visibly paled. Huh. Rachel wouldn''t have bet on that even being noticeable, given the fine layer of fur she was sporting across most of her face. ?We don''t want that. Lead on.?


    Rachel had thought she''d never ask. Sedgewick?


    Yes, I think it is about time for a final "diversion" as you like to call them. We should do this again sometime. It has been too long since I got to enjoy so many interesting reactions in such a short period of time. Sedgewick reached out through their feet, located the thin strand of nima that he''d woven to connect them to the other artifacts that she''d planted, and with Rachel''s help send a burst of nima through that destroyed the connection but resulted in a satisfying series of whump sounds on each border of the camp.


    ?What the hell did you just do?? asked Xavier, staring at Rachel in consternation.


    She shrugged. ?Secured our ticket out of here. Let''s go.?


    The three of them ducked out of the tent, and advanced through the suddenly-expanded chaos.

 Styx: 054

    Styx: 054


    "So, not that I want to interfere with you making big decisions on the spur of the moment without consulting me or anything, but narratively speaking are we likely to just walk straight out of here without trouble?" Princess was stuffed back in Xavier''s satchel, and was evidently feeling snarky.


    Of course, she also had a point. "You believe me that we''re in a narrative?" Xavier muttered under his breath. Sumiko shot him a quelling glare.


    "Let''s just say we''re going to have a good long talk on the subject when we next get the chance," temporized Princess. "Right now, I''m more interested in hearing if you have any predictions."


    Xavier gave it some thought as he followed after Rachel and Sumiko with what he hoped was a purposeful walk. It had been smooth sailing so far, but now Princess brought it up, of course they weren''t going to be allowed to just walk out of camp. Unless running into Rachel had for some reason completely upset the genre, conflict was basically guaranteed. "Shit, we''re definitely going to run into trouble." He picked up his pace slightly, intended to warn Rachel.


    He was too slow.


    ?Animal! Animal infiltrator in the camp!? screamed a nearby soldier, pointing straight at Sumiko.


    "You just had to say it!" yelled Xavier at Princess as she hoisted herself out of the satchel and into the crook of his arm at double speed and everything went to hell.


    Sumiko ducked and rolled under the slash of a nearby soldier''s sword. Rachel moved inhumanly fast toward the soldier who had yelled, there was a small spike of nima, and he crumpled into a heap. Xavier felt nima suddenly building behind them and spun just in time to yank a spike of nima away from Sumiko where she was coming out of her roll. Unfortunately, he over-reached himself and staggered off balance, so the nima traced a parabola around him to shoot straight at Rachel, who grabbed it out of the air and did¡ªsomething with it. He wasn''t able to track quite what. Xavier felt nima quickly building off at another angle, and rather than wait to see what sort of trouble that particular artifact was about to unleash he opted to sprint after Sumiko as she high-tailed it toward a stack of luggage near a pair of tents.


    The two dove behind the luggage just as the artifact that had been prepping behind them sent out a screaming flash of nima. Fortunately, the shot went wide, although it blew the tent nearby completely apart. For a camp that had seemed quite disciplined, they certainly weren''t shy about firing off ordinance toward their fellow soldiers.


    A moment later, Rachel slid smoothly around the edge of the luggage and dropped into place next to Xavier.


    ?Sedgewick thinks it would be safe for the two of us to go all out,? she said conversationally. ?But I''m hoping you have a better plan, because I honestly don''t have that strong a grudge against these people.?This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Xavier looked at her askance. ?Just what is¡ªnevermind. Princess and I can handle the artifacts, if they''re stupid enough to keep firing at us, but neither of us can do anything about swords.?


    ?I''ll take point, you support, and Xavier is in the rear where the mononoke can help him neutralize incoming nima,? snapped Sumiko. ?And nothing flashy, kami! You''ll draw the whole camp down on us. Sunda hate kami.?


    Rachel looked thoughtful. ?That explains some things. Let''s go.?


    The three took off running and ran straight into a group of soldiers who had been trying to flank them. Sumiko ducked under the swing of the foremost, shoved him off balance, and then cannoned through the rest of their ranks like a fuzzy pinball. Rachel simply slapped soldiers aside whenever they got closer to her or Xavier, and Xavier scurried in her wake, tried not to gibber, and strained his senses for incoming nima.


    This was the first time Xavier had faced off against human antagonists, and he didn''t like it one bit. It was, quite frankly, a nightmare.


    A sword whistled through the air and bounced off Rachel''s exposed neck before he could shout. Her arm whipped out, grabbed the suddenly off-balance forearm of the soldier who had attacked her, broke it with a sharp twist and a crack, and then tossed the now-screaming soldier one-handed into a pair who had been pelting towards Xavier. Sumiko disappeared into a small clump of soldiers for a moment, and Xavier almost fell over in panic before she emerged with blood on her teeth and a feral look in her eye that Xavier had never seen before. A pair of soldiers executed a perfect pincer attack on Rachel, but before Sumiko or he could even try to assist the two fell back in a spray of blood.


    No one seemed able to get close to Xavier. He followed in the wake of Sumiko and Rachel, and together they parted the oncoming soldiers like wheat. When at last their opponents started to get a little more organized and began leaving openings so that their fellows could fire on the three invaders from behind, Xavier finally started feeling like he was contributing. He pulled nima out of the air with reckless abandon.


    At last they reached the supplies, and they dropped behind one of the piles, having momentarily outpaced the information that there were invaders in camp. Rachel immediately started digging through the stack behind them, homing in on something. ?Sumiko, Xavier, grab a couple of bags and as much food and drink as you can stuff into them. This isn''t going to hold them back long.?


    The two jumped to work, although Xavier honestly wasn''t sure what all he''d stuffed in his sack by the time he was done. While they''d been busy, Rachel had been spending her time lobbing small artifacts over toward the oncoming soldiers, where they explosively vented their nima. Xavier was fairly certain they weren''t supposed to do that.


    ?Alright, that''ll have to be enough. Time to run again.?


    And they were off.


    Fortunately, despite their pause at the supplies, they were able to keep mostly ahead of the information that there were intruders trying to flee the camp by the eastern border, so most of their close altercations were small clumps of soldiers who took umbrage at a trio of people obviously up to no good. After the last of these, they finally broke through the camp border, scrambled through the ditch lined it, and took off into the desert with a last few shots of nima trailing them.


    Princess climbed up and perched on the top of Xavier''s head, watching backwards as he followed Rachel and Sumiko as fast as he could with his flagging endurance. "We''re going to have pursuit soon for sure."


    "Wonderful," gasped Xavier. ?Rachel, Sumiko-san, what are we going to do when they follow us??


    ?We''ll worry about that soon enough,? replied Rachel. ?Just keep going for now, Xavier.?


    She wasn''t even out of breath. Just what the hell had happened to her since she''d arrived in this world?

 Styx: 055

    Styx: 055


    ?This should be far enough for now,? said Rachel, and Xavier collapsed where he stood.


    That has been the most miserable walk through the dark he''d ever experienced. The only light was from the moon, which although reasonably full didn''t do much more than make the dips and hollows in the sand even more difficult to spot. He was fairly certain he''d twisted an ankle, but he hurt so much all over it was hard to tell the difference. Rachel appeared to be able to see in the dark, and he''d always suspected that Sumiko had far better night vision than he did. Now he''d definitively proven it.


    Nearby, Sumiko and Rachel were talking quietly, like the whole trek had been no big deal. Damn them.


    ?Alright, Sumiko, what exactly is it that you''re looking for? If you''re planning to head back to the Confederacy, then this is about as far as you should go. That Sundlin camp is going to be more stirred up than a hornet''s nest, so you''ll want to go around through the desert proper to get past them, and that''s not going to be easy. Especially with all the lesser kami out there.?


    ?I''m not worried about the Sundas. I''m worried about you.?


    ?Sedgewick thinks that''s bullshit and so do I. If I were an out-of-control kami you and most of that camp would be dead. Look, I think Xavier passed out, so just spill. What is it you want, anyway??


    He wasn''t passed out! But he was also completely unable to move. Would probably never move again. It wasn''t worth correcting her, in any case. That would probably require moving. Princess had crawled up onto his chest and was sitting upright, flower turned toward the two women. Evidently she was interested, as well.


    There was silence for a bit, and Xavier was just about ready to pass out for real when Sumiko spoke up.


    ?I feel responsible for Zabi-kun. When he arrived, he barely spoke a word of our language, and I helped him learn. Then he ran afoul of that mononoke, and well¡ªI guess maybe I saw myself in him, a little bit. A mononoke infested me when I was younger before it jumped to¡ªbut that''s really none of your business. In any case, ever since he arrived he''s been leaning on me, and I suppose somewhere I started thinking of him like family. I¡ªmiss that. We''ve got a lot in common. We''re both transplants, both have suffered because of mononoke. And then he offered me a way out of the desert. And I want that.?


    She was quite for a few moments, before continuing almost too quiet for Xavier to hear. ?He''s a good kit. He shouldn''t be haring back off into the desert with no supplies and a greater kami for company. So. That''s my story, or as much of it as you''re getting. What do you want??


    ?Has Xavier ever told you where he''s from? No, didn''t think so. We''re from a completely different world¡ªdifferent reality. That''s why he''s got that crazy nima deficiency. I did, too, before Sedgewick asked me to consume him. Oh, don''t give me that look. See, it doesn''t matter whether you believe me or not. The important thing is that I can get him home.?Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    ?To a different world.?


    ?See, that''s why he didn''t mention it. Go ask the flower if you want a second opinion. I''ll bet it figured out there was something weird about Xavier pretty quick.?


    ?You''re not making a very good case for why I should trust you.?


    ?The thing is, Miss Racoon, I don''t actually care if you trust me. Xavier and I are going home, and there''s not much you can do about that. If you''re so worried, I suppose you can tag along, but we''re headed for the middle of this damn desert, and somehow I doubt that''s somewhere you want to end up being stranded. Or, alternately, I can share with you what I know about the Sundlin army that''s camped out over there, and you can head back to the Confederacy and whatever obligations you abandoned when you chased after Xavier.?


    ?I don''t much like either of those choices,? Sumiko muttered. If Rachel responded, Xavier couldn''t hear it. ?Alright, say I leave you two alone. How exactly are you planning to travel to a completely different world??


    ?Admittedly, that''s a bit of a work in progress. Xavier and I both popped into your world in the middle of the area you call the Deadlands, and Sedgewick believes it occurred at the place where a greater kami tree used to live. Evidently reality is a little¡­thinner there, I guess. He''s fairly certain he and I can tear a hole big enough to shove Xavier and I back to our original reality, but it''s going to take a really big external source of nima to kickstart the process. So our two challenges are getting to the Deadlands in the first place, and then locating a big chunk of nima somewhere. I figure worst case scenario we''ll have to try and wrangle up a bunch of the lesser kami out there, although getting enough juice from them is going to be a trick.?


    ?So you do have a plan, then.?


    ?Enough to go on. The narrative may fight us initially, but I suspect we can force it around.?


    ?Narrative??


    ?Don''t worry about it. There, I''ve been frank with you. Now return the favor already. Do I need to babysit you, or are you going to suck it up, say goodbye like a big girl, and head back while you can??


    Man, when did Rachel get so harsh? Xavier was feeling a larger and larger sense of disconnect. Granted, he hadn''t seen her in months, and she''d apparently assimilated some sort of crazy powerful kami in the meantime¡ªactually, nevermind, he supposed going from background character to OP isekai heroine probably explained quite a lot.


    ?I don''t see that I have much choice.?


    ?Nope, you don''t. So you want to know about the Sundlins??


    ?Yes.?


    ?I was traveling with a former Sundlin priest named Malken¡ªby the way, if you happen to run into him, I would really appreciate if you told him good-bye for me. We were traveling with a bunny woman named Bafubani, too. You''d like her, she''s prickly. Anyway, according to him the big state religion in the Sundlin Empire is the Children of Man, which basically preaches that kami are evil. They''ve been steadily losing power over the last century or so, but then Sedgewick sensed Xavier''s entry into your world, and went looking for him. The world snake being on the move was enough to give them a solid political boost, and they organized a small army to come try and take him down. Since the easiest route to the central Tachigare is up the Keikoku Valley here, they stormed through every bakuhito settlement on their way, and left this force here as their primary rear-guard. I suppose they might have designs on the Confederacy eventually, but honestly, Sedgewick has no interest in them and would probably crush them if they managed to force a confrontation, anyway. I suspect they''ll run out of steam sooner rather than later, especially since I doubt they can detect him when he''s not making massive waves by traveling around in the center of the planet. That enough for you??


    ?That will work. I''d love more detail, though.?


    ?Like I said, Malken and Bafubani were trying to slip around the Sundlin army while I raised a ruckus inside. See if you can find them, and you''ll have all the info you want.?


    ?I''ll do that. You really plan to bring Xavier home? And you need a large nima source to do so??


    ?I have absolutely no reason to lie to you.?


    ?Very well. I might have an idea about that¡­?

 Styx: 056

    Styx: 056


    "Xavier, wake up." Xavier woke groggily to the tapping of a vine against his cheek.


    "Wha¡­Princess?"


    "Finally, I''ve been prodding at you forever. Come on rise and shine, we need to talk."


    He sat up. Although the sky was brightening, it was still mostly dark. Rachel and Sumiko were two indistinct bundles a pace or two away; although the temperature wasn''t as bitterly cold here on the edge of the desert, it was still quite chilly.


    "What do you want?" he asked quietly, fending off her vine. "Stop tapping me!"


    "I don''t know when the other two will wake up. I let you sleep as long as I could, but we really need to talk. Come on, you can go feed a plant while we do it."


    As euphemisms for going to the bathroom went, "feeding a plant" was pretty high up on the list of things Xavier would never, ever tell people about, but Princess though it was hilarious. "Ugh, fine. Seriously stop tapping me! I''m going, I''m going!"


    A little while later, they were alone and the local plants had been fed. Xavier sat down on a rock and huddled around himself. He''d brought his blanket with him, but it had lost basically all of his body heat while he''d been stumbling around in the dark. He was mainly just thankful they''d found blankets in their mad scramble to pilfer the Sundlin army''s supplies. Sleeping under a pile of clothing would have been awful. "So spill, what is it you wanted to talk about?"


    Princess took a moment to climb down his shoulder and perch next to him on the rock. Xavier pulled the blanket in more closely; she''d let the cold air in. "I think I believe you about the narrative thing at this point," she finally said. "But Xavier, I''m conflicted."


    "Oh?"


    "I know you want to return to your old world, and I understand that. And if this narrative or whatever is messing with your life will go with you, I''d really like that. But Xavier¡­you can''t leave." Her vine, which he usually didn''t even notice anymore, tightened around his ear possessively. "If you go, I¡ªI won''t be me anymore. I''ll just be a mindless mononoke, cutting a swathe through the desert animal life again. Xavier, I don''t know what to do."


    Well, shit. Xavier watched Princess''s flower tremble slightly and realized that when Rachel had told him he could go home and he''d thought about staying it was because of Sumiko, Yukio, and Kahina. He felt guilty and sad about leaving them with no explanation, but Princess''s situation hadn''t even crossed his mind. Sumiko and the rest would doubtless be hurt by his abrupt departure, but Princess relied on him to function as a sentient creature at all.


    "Oh Princess," he breathed, gathering the mononoke up in his cupped hands and brushing her flower to his forehead. "I''m so, so sorry. I didn''t think."This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    "Well," said Princess, an odd burr accompanying the voice in his head. "Well. That''s what I wanted to talk about. I thought about¡ªbut it doesn''t matter. It wouldn''t have worked."


    Xavier lowered his hands and considered. "You know this is another hold the narrative is using to try and keep me here."


    Princess''s voice was faint. "But it''s still my life."


    "I know. Ugh, that sounded horrible. I''m sorry." He stopped talking before he dug himself any more holes. What was he going to do about this?


    ¡­There wasn''t anything he could do, was there? All he was capable of was relying on others, just like he''d relied on Princess countless times; well, that and siphon off any spare nima that was lying around. He couldn''t talk his way out of the fact that she needed to maintain physical contact in order to be able to think at all.


    But at the same time, he couldn''t stay. He absolutely couldn''t stay. Could he? What would he tell Rachel? Hell, what would happen to Rachel if they didn''t return to their own reality? She was already like a completely different person; whatever weird melding she''d done with that greater kami was clearly affecting her strongly.


    "I don''t know what to do, either," he admitted. "I''d send you back with Sumiko-san, but¡­"


    "No. She would be safe from me, but no one and nothing else would. And I don''t trust the Society of Progress without you to keep my wits around me."


    "Yeah. I don''t know what they''d do, either."


    "So¡­?"


    "We''re going to need help. The only thing I can think of is asking Rachel if that great kami she''s combined with can help us. Do you know anything about it? What could you sense?"


    "Help us¡­no, I don''t know much. The world snake was more active back when¡ªbefore we became mononoke, but I never came into direct contact with it. Most people who did just ended up eaten. It wasn''t really much in for socializing. I think the closest I ever got was returning to Yggdrasil once when the world snake was way up in its branches sunbathing or something."


    "That doesn''t sound like something that''s likely to even be capable of a helping mood."


    "No."


    "Though¡­you know, I''ve been noticing that Rachel''s behavior is a lot different than in our world, and I think at least some of that must be the world snake''s influence. Do you think that might go both ways?"


    "You think your friend could influence the world snake? I seriously doubt that, but I suppose it''s possible. Admittedly, I was surprised at the restraint she showed back in the Sundlin camp."


    "If that''s restraint, I really don''t want to be around if she really lets loose."


    "Great kami are natural disasters. I know that you''ve got a ridiculous appetite for nima, but I''m frankly shocked that she was able to contain a great kami without exploding or something."


    Xavier set Princess down, and snugged his blanket closer. "What a lovely image. It sounds like all bets are off, though, so it can''t hurt to ask her."


    "I think you''re right."


    "Good. Well, we''ve got a plan, such as it is. We''ll talk to Rachel about it today. I think with her help we can find a way to get what we both need."


    "I hope so," said Princess quietly, before perking up. "Now that''s out of the way, you should probably run back and wake up Sumiko and Rachel, because there''s a big ol'' pack of Sundlin soldiers doing a quick march in our direction."


    "What?! Why didn''t you say so earlier?!" Xavier jumped up, scooped Princess onto his shoulder, and sprinted for their makeshift campsite.


    "Our talk was more important," said Princess, as she swung herself around to her preferred perch on his shoulder. "Besides, you''ve got a great kami on your side. It''s not like the end of the world if they''d caught up to us." She cocked her flower and considered for a moment. "Well, for us. Guess that might let you see what happens when your friend lets her kami off the leash a little earlier than otherwise, though."

 Styx: 057

    Styx: 057


    Wake. Rachel rolled out of her blanket and was on her feet in an instant. Sedgewick had woken her up enough times on their little trip west through the desert that she was getting good at it.


    Problem?


    It is time to depart. The Sundlin forces made an early start of things, it seems.


    She looked around. Xavier was missing, but with a moment''s focus she thought she could sense the mononoke that he kept with him to the south-west. It seemed like it was moving her way, though, so probably not worth worrying over. She stepped over to Sumiko and nudged her awake with her toe. ?Rise and shine, Sumiko.?


    The racoon woman rolled over, growled something unintelligible, and glared up at her.


    ?Sundlin''s on the move, so we don''t have much time to pack. You coming with us, or heading back to civilization??


    Sumiko crawled out of her bedding, stuffed it into a nearby backpack, and shoved it over toward Rachel. ?I don''t know why you''re asking, when you convinced me to go back last night. Where''s Zabi-kun??


    Rachel waved to the south-west. ?Headed this way, far as I can tell. Sedgewick says the Sundlin forces are trying to loop around from the north, so if you head back the way Xavier is coming, that will be your best chance to bypass them. Not sure how you''re going to get past their camp, though.?


    ?I can always backtrack and go over the cliffs.?


    Rachel shrugged, and didn''t offer any commentary. She couldn''t think of any better ideas, and Sedgewick seemed to think that Sumiko would be perfectly capable of dealing with or evading the lesser kami that were lurking around near the upper edges of the canyon. She kind of hoped Sumiko did run into Bafubani. They were quite different, but she had a feeling they''d get along really well.


    ?Sumiko-san, Rachel, wake up, there''s¡ªoh.? Xavier stumbled up at a partial run.


    Rachel shouldered the larger of the bags they''d liberated from the Sundlin army. ?Ready to go, Xavier??


    ?Uh, yes. I guess. Uh, Sumiko-san??


    Sumiko walked up to him, and before he could react pulled him into a hug. ?I guess this is good-bye, Zabi-kun.? She pushed him back to arm''s length. ?If things don''t work out, come back to the Confederate States. I''ll make sure you have a place in the Society for Progress.?


    ?Right. Uh. Thank you. Look, Sumiko-san, can you¡ª? Xavier appeared to be having trouble forming a complete sentence.


    ?I''ll let everyone know what happened, and why you''re heading back to the Tachigare.?


    ?Thanks. Thank you for everything. Look¡ªI''ll miss you. Tell Kahina-san and Yukio-san thanks, too. And good-bye.?


    Sumiko smiled at him. ?I will. Now you''d better get a move on. You do not have a fun trip ahead of you.?


    ?Yeah. Right.? Xavier backed up, located his bag, and started somewhat frantically trying to jam his blanket into it.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ?Sumiko,? said Rachel. ?A human named Malken and a bakuhito named Bafubani accompanied me out of the desert. If you happen to find them, please tell them good-bye for me, too. I don''t know what this Society you two have been talking about is, but they''re a very capable pair, and they''re going to need somewhere to live.?


    Sumiko eyed her. ?I will keep that in mind.? She grabbed the small pack that she''d prepped the night before from some of the Sundlin supplies. ?I should go. Zabi-kun¡ªkeep warm at night.? She waved, and started across the sand to the south-east.


    Xavier raised his hand like he wanted to stop her, but then let it drop when she didn''t turn around. ?Good-bye, Sumiko-san! I''ll miss you!? he called. She raised a hand in acknowledgement, but kept moving.


    "She has the right idea," said Rachel. Boy did it ever feel good to fall back into English. "We need to get a move on."


    "Yeah," said Xavier, still watching after Sumiko. "Yeah, I guess we should."


    <hr>


    While she walked, Rachel went over her assets; it was pretty obvious Xavier wasn''t going to be much for conversation for a while. They''d scored blankets, and enough water containers to last them a day, maybe a day and a half without refilling. That wouldn''t have been nearly enough when she''d first set out from Henka, but the river made for an easily accessible source of potable water, and she''d had a month of practicing with Sedgewick. If they needed, deriving enough water to drink from plants would not be a problem. It would just slow them down a little. They hadn''t been able to find much in the way of food, but again with Sedgewick''s help she was confident that was a manageable issue. Depending on Xavier''s physical capabilities, and how soon they could shake off pursuit by the Sundlin forces, they could probably make pretty decent time, particularly because she''d just traveled this whole stupid valley going the other direction and had a very good idea of what areas the Sundlin troops were occupying. Perhaps if the main bulk of the army headed back down this way they could be caught in the middle, but unless they arrived within the next day or two she and Xavier could just loop around out in the desert proper. The cliff walls should be much more navigable as they got further from where the valley gave out into the Confederate States.


    As for what the narrative might throw at them, she was honestly unsure. At this point, they were in uncharted territory as far any of the reference material she''d read and Bill''s speculation went. An army marching right into their face certainly would be the most likely way to mix things up. Or maybe an attack by some of the kami in the desert? Neither of those seemed like problems she and Xavier couldn''t surmount, though, and the main things tying Xavier to this place were back in the Confederate States¡ªexcepting his mononoke, of course. And Sedgewick, for her, she supposed.


    Which reminded her¡­Sedgewick, you''re really fine with helping us get back to my world?


    Of course. I would have enjoyed coexisting with you longer, but by my best estimate separating from you will require quite a lot of my excess nima so I may in fact be able to exist on the surface of the world without issue once you are gone. This has been a profitable partnership.


    Wonderful.


    That was a load off, at least. She''d have to pick Xavier''s brains about the mononoke, though. She''d noticed that it was constantly in physical contact with him, which could mean any number of things. None of them good.


    Perhaps tonight. She had a feeling there was a lingering problem there; he and the mononoke had been quite far off from the camp when she''d woken up in the morning.


    In the meantime, she paused and looked back. Dust hung in the distance where a chunk of Sundlin soldiers were scouring the valley for them, but she didn''t think they would catch up. Sedgewick had laid a few false nima trails out into the desert when they''d started, and by stirring up a slight breeze behind them was erasing most physical signs of their passage. Not that there was anywhere for them to go but up the valley at this point, but it couldn''t hurt. Xavier also appeared to be doing alright, although at the moment he was slogging through the sand with his head down. She''d have to suggest a break soon. It had become increasingly clear as she traveled with Bafubani and Malken that Sedgewick was slowly increasing her physical capabilities. She''d have asked him to stop, except it was so damn useful. She wondered idly if the changes would persist once they were back in their own reality. That could be fun.


    The sun rose higher, the sand heated up, and Xavier and Rachel walked on.

 Styx: 058

    Styx: 058


    Xavier lay on his back, gazing up at the stars that were multiplying in the sky above as the daylight faded into darkness. He always felt vaguely uneasy looking at the sky here. Not only were there far too many stars compared to his light-polluted home city, but they were just ever-so-slightly wrong. He hadn''t realized that he was familiar enough with the night sky to even notice the difference, but he instinctively looked for patterns that simply weren''t there.


    Something poked him in the cheek. "Ask her!" said Princess. "You''ve been procrastinating all day!"


    Fine, fine. He batted her vine away and looked over toward Rachel, but she was just a dark bump on the ground as far as he could tell. She''d given him space all day and he''d been first too pre-occupied, and then too nervous, to break the silence. Princess snuck a vine in around the back of his head and poked him on the other cheek.


    "Rachel, you still awake?"


    "Yeah. What''s up, Xavier?"


    Oh man, hearing his name pronounced properly was still enough to make him happy. He wondered how long it would take him to get used to that¡ªnot to mention hearing English spoken outside of his own head. "I had something I needed to ask you."


    "Fire away."


    "So, the thing is, Princess¡ªshe''s the mononoke¡ªis literally unable to think and control her own behavior without me siphoning off nima."


    "What? Really? Sedgewick have you¡­huh, now that you mention it, you''re right." Rachel sat up and Xavier caught a glint from her eyes. That was seriously freaky; he really wished the kami or whatever it was that was possessing her wouldn''t mess with her eyeballs. "It''s really sucking in the nima, isn''t it? So what, like that overloads its ability to process?"


    "Uh, I guess?" He hadn''t ever really noticed that Princess pulled in nima, despite all her work getting him to sense the stuff. "That''s why she''s always in physical contact with me. If she''s not touching me for too long, she starts to lose the ability to think properly, and then she just acts on instinct and tries to parasitize whatever animal is nearest."


    "Excuse me, I do not parasitize things!" exclaimed Princess. "I''ll have you know our relationship is entirely symbiotic."


    "Yeah, yeah, symbiotic, excuse me. Didn''t you say that things you bond with tend to go crazy because of all the nima you pump into them?"


    "¡­well, more or less."


    "So if I''m understanding correctly, the mononoke draws in excess nima, bonds with a host, and then shares the excess with the host animal?" said Rachel.


    "That''s pretty much what she''s described to me."


    "Huh. Sedgewick says that makes no sense. With draw like he''s seeing, your mononoke should have ascended to kami itself a long while ago."


    "Tell her it doesn''t work that way," chimed in Princess. "That''s not how mother made us."


    "Princess told me once that she''s basically the child of a great kami called Yggdrasil, way back in the day, so that''s not how it works for her."Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "Ah, Sedgewick says that explains it. Hm, if the mononoke is a construct he thinks he might actually be able to do something about it, but he''s going to have to observe it a bit. Might need to have it cut contact with you for a little while so he can see how the nima build up affects it, and what happens when you siphon it down again."


    "Oh, I really don''t like the sound of that. But I''ll do it if the great kami thinks it can help me."


    "Princess doesn''t like that idea, but she''ll do it."


    "Great, that should give us something to do besides hunt for food and avoid Sundlin soldiers on the way back."


    "Yeah. Right. That sounds like fun. What are we going to eat, by the way?"


    "Sedgewick and I can come up with something. Don''t worry about it."


    "Uh, I saw what''s in your pack, Rachel, and we don''t have any food."


    "Sedgewick is really good at scaring up a meal, Xavier, trust me. We kept three people fed on the way down here, and I can certainly keep you and I fed. Once he figured out that humans can''t just eat their body weight in one meal and then fast for a week, things were smooth sailing."


    "I''m so anxious right now, you don''t even know. And that''s not helping."


    Rachel laughed and lay back down.


    Xavier cast around for something else to say. He was bone tired from all the walking through sand, but not quite ready to go to sleep. It had been so long since he''d actually had a chance to talk to someone who spoke his language, much less a friend from his original world. Darkness had settled around him, bringing with it the cool of night near the edge of the desert proper. Even with Princess cuddled up to him and the invisible presence of the great kami¡ªSedgewick, he supposed, although how on earth he came by that name, he was dying to know¡ªit felt like the two of them were alone in the desert.


    "Why did you come?" Crap, that wasn''t what he meant to ask. "Uh, I mean I know sometimes isekai like to pull classmates in along with the protagonist, but my dad must have known to watch out for that kind of thing, and¡ª"


    "Xavier," Rachel broke in before his brain could catch up with his tongue. "I''m in love with you, idiot."


    "What? No, you''re not." Oof, he was on a roll tonight, but seriously, what?


    "See, that''s why I said you''re an idiot." He could hear the smile in her voice, though. "You can''t have it both ways, you know. It''s unfair to fight against your genre as hard as you do, but then turn around and deny the things people feel for you simply because you think they''re part of a narrative."


    "Yeah, okay, but, um¡­lo¡ªI mean, why would you even like me?" This was so embarrassing he was going to die. Maybe he could sneak off into the desert and become a hermit, because he just had to fall face-first into a horrifically embarrassing conversation on the first night they''d set out alone together. Well. Mostly alone. The only mammals, anyway. He flashed back to seeing Rachel¡ªbut NOPE, not going there! He refused to let the genre play with his¡ª


    "Maybe you don''t remember, but a couple weeks after I moved in with you guys, I overheard you and your mom talking. Hana told you she was thinking about asking me to stay even though the Doyles were back in town, but wanted to know if you were okay with it. And you said you wanted me to stay."


    Xavier vaguely remembered that conversation, though he didn''t think he''d put things quite like that.


    "I''ve told you, I always get passed around. One house after another, and not a lot of people would stick up for me. I was always a stranger. And maybe the genre at the time was nudging me that direction, but what you said still meant a lot to me. I didn''t like distancing myself from you when you were busy driving your pseudo-harem off, but at that point I had a pretty good idea that something was going on¡ªI''m pretty sure I was a side character in a previous manga plot-line¡ªand you seemed like you needed it so badly I couldn''t say no. But that genre ended, and my feelings didn''t." He heard her roll over, likely to face his way. "Look, I''m not expecting anything from you right now, you know? But you did ask. And we''re going to talk about this when we get back to Earth, because I''m sick of rolling over backward for everyone around me, and I really hate the way you''ve been avoiding me."


    "Uh, right. Um. Okay."


    "Just¡ªlook, Xavier. You''ve been stuck in several manga plotlines now, which totally sucks. I get that. But you''re not alone, you know? Your family''s been here for you all this time, I''ve been here for you all this time, and whether you ask for it or not we''re going to help you when you need it. Now go to sleep, we''ve got a long stint of walking ahead of us, and a throw-down with a giant centipede kami at the end of it."


    "Yeah, uh, good ni¡ªwait what was that last bit?"

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    Styx: 059


    Xavier stared numbly across the desert at the hazy red cliffs rising ahead of him, and wondered for the umpteenth time how he''d ended up agreeing to this crazy plan.


    It had been almost a month since they''d fled up the valley ahead of Sundlin scouts¡ªif he never saw another lizard or one of those weird desert rat-things that Rachel and Sedgewick thought constituted food, he''d die happy at this point¡ªand despite trying to convince Rachel that there had to be a better way, he hadn''t been able to come up with a good alternative source of large quantities of nima. Evidently Sumiko had told Rachel about the Mukade Cliffs at some point in their brief acquaintance, and they were going to need a massive influx of nima to jump start the process of getting home.


    That wouldn''t have been so bad if Rachel were the one who needed to go wading through youkai centipedes to try and tempt out one of the really big ones, but he and Princess had been roped into that task because evidently they would be able to get much farther without being detected. One of the few upsides to his voracious appetite for nima was evidently that creatures that relied on sensing nima to find prey were liable to overlook him. Normally that would make him happy, since avoiding being categorized as "prey" was always high on his list of priorities. Today, though, not so much.


    On the plus side, he did have Princess. Rachel¡ªor maybe more accurately Sedgewick¡ªhad been studying her on and off for the entire trip, and believed that she could be modified to prevent her absurd nima draw from turning into a mindless parasite. That was great news for both Princess and Xavier, but Sedgewick had refused to actually complete the modification because without her grounding the nima that she gathered into Xavier, she would be unable to approach the Mukade Cliffs with him and Rachel wasn''t willing to send him into danger completely without backup.


    So here the two of them were, advancing towards his least favorite place in this entire world, unwinding a trail of woven plant fiber behind them. Rachel had evidently squirreled away one of the Sundlin artifacts into her pack before they''d quit the camp, and they''d rigged up a way to allow her to detonate it remotely.


    Xavier had serious questions about his life choices, that they''d lead him to trying to sneak past a horde of murderous giant centipedes in order to plant a bomb in hopes of luring out even bigger murderous centipedes.


    "You know, I wasn''t all that worried about this plan originally, but I''ve changed my mind," said Princess conversationally. "No, don''t respond! We don''t actually know that these things only hunt based on nima, and there''s uh, a few of them around."


    Xavier glared at Princess where she was perched at his waist helping feed out their fragile plant-fiber fuse from a pack secured to his belt. That was absolutely not helping. His nima senses were a lot better than the last time he''d been here, but he couldn''t distinguish much beyond the fact that there was more nima around him than was normal for the desert.


    "Steer clear of that clump of rocks ahead, would you?"


    Xavier carefully began working his way further around the unassuming clump of rocks than he had previously been planning on. He remembered all too well what had happened when he''d gotten close to a rock outcrop with Kahina, Sumiko, and Yukio.


    Twenty minutes later, they were getting increasingly close to the cliffs and Princess was running out of fuse. Xavier couldn''t believe they''d made it so far, but perhaps it helped that they had waited until the hottest part of the day. He was guzzling the water he''d brought with him at a prodigious rate, but at least the desert remained quiet.


    "Okay, hold up," said Princess and Xavier froze. Sweat dripped down his face. The sunlight felt like a weight sitting on his head and shoulders. "Yeah, I think this is about as far as we can go. I don''t see any clear path through those rocks ahead." They were so close to the feet of the cliffs that the sand had mostly given way to rocks, and evidently there were some impressive swarms of centipedes sheltering under or around them. Strangely, Xavier wasn''t able to spot any of the little monsters on the cliffs themselves. He recalled the last time when it looked like the cliff was red because of the centipedes, but this close it all looked basically like rough, red rock. Maybe there were a lot of holes sheltering the horrible things. They''d certainly come nowhere near this close last time.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    "Alright, I think we have enough of this rope that if you lob the artifact up over those big rocks Rachel will still be able to reach it. Plus that will definitely stir things up a lot more than if we just let it go off in the sand here."


    Xavier risked a whisper. "You''re sure? The fuse won''t break?"


    "Nah, Rachel and Sedgewick really did a number on this part of it. I know those bits at the other end that you worked on would probably fall apart in a stiff breeze, but this bit''s crazy strong."


    Xavier shrugged, and pulled the artifact out of the bag, hefting it in his hand while he considered the throw. The thing was wrapped around with the vine-like ropes they''d created and tied up into a tight little bundle. It was pretty awkwardly weighted; it felt like one side of it had a lot more of the vines knotted than the other.


    Nothing for it, he supposed. Throwing his arm out, he hurled it as far as he could. The artifact sailed over the rocks and he heard it hit the ground with a soft clatter, the fuse trailing behind it.


    "Uh, we should head back. Maybe move a little quicker than you did getting here? But step softly. Yeah, that would be good."


    Xavier immediately checked to ensure the fuse wasn''t looped around him or still trailing out of the bag or anything, and when it was clear they were free of it he began speed walking back the way they''d come.


    Princess climbed up to his shoulder and stared back behind him. "Yeah, that definitely riled a few up, but it looks like they haven''t noticed you. Let''s just keep moving, though."


    Xavier didn''t look back. He frankly didn''t want to know.


    At last they made it back to Rachel, who was kneeling in the sand with her hands on the fuse and her eyes closed.


    "See?" said Princess. "No problem. We didn''t even have to run from that big one that was sniffing around after we tossed the artifact."


    "Everything good?" asked Xavier. "Because I am absolutely never doing that again."


    "I think so," said Rachel, eyes still closed. "Yeah, I agree, Sedgewick. That makes sense." She finally opened her eyes, and looked up at Xavier. "You ready, Xavier? Things are going to get a little hectic when Sedgewick kicks things off."


    "Wait a moment while I get my pack sorted." He undid the bag at his waist, and went to tuck it into his pack. "So we''re going home today, then? Should you do whatever it is you''re planning to do for Princess first?"


    "No, we have to draw whatever kami we''re able to attract to the Deadlands."


    "Wait, what? You never said anything about that! You just said you needed a big influx of nima!"


    "Oh, yeah. Sedgewick thinks that the place where you and I both entered the world has a thinner barrier between this and other realities. He''s pretty sure that''s where the great kami tree you told me about once stood."


    "But that''s days away! And you haven''t seen those centipedes, they''re crazy fast! How are we supposed to lead a pack of them all that way?!"


    Rachel sat back on her heels. "Sedgewick doesn''t think we''ll have to lead anything. His plan is to ride one."


    Xavier found himself utterly at a loss for words. "Ride¡­are you insane?"


    "See, I knew he wouldn''t like it," Rachel commented, evidently not to Xavier. "We''ll be fine, Xavier. These things may be big, but they''re still bugs. Sedgewick is reasonably certain that he can tweak their nervous system and make them think they''re chasing us even if we''re riding on their back."


    Xavier stared at her. "Reasonably certain. He''s reasonably certain. You do think that we''re going to get home, right? I really don''t want to get eaten by a giant centipede. They''re¡­I can''t describe it. I still sometimes have nightmares about the day that we ran into them."


    "It''ll be fine, Xavier. Trust me. You''ve got your pack in order? Good, let''s get this party started." And she planted both hands on the fuse, shutting her eyes once more.


    The fuse swelled under her hands, and then the swollen section rocketed away, the vines disintegrating behind it.


    "What the¡­" began Xavier when the sand around them seemed to jump as chunks of rock went flying skyward near where he''d left the artifact. "What the hell did you do?! The explosions you caused in the Sundlin camp weren''t anywhere near that big!"


    "We''ve been working on our technique," said Rachel smugly. "Sedgewick figured out a way to basically make the artifact take on aspects of his original nima signature, so aside from exploding pretty spectacularly that should really draw the youkai in if they''re as desperate for nima as your stories made them seem."


    "That''s great, Rachel, but we need to run, right now."


    "Well, things certainly seem stirred up over there, but¡­"


    "No, you don''t understand, the last time I was here something exploded near the cliffs, but it was a lot less strong and it drew out a centipede that could probably swallow me in one bite. We need to go now!"


    The dust was clearing from where Sedgewick had set off his nima bomb, and from this distance the desert surface there seemed to be boiling. Xavier desperately tried not to imagine why it would look that way. "Rachel¡­"


    "Don''t worry, Xavier, we''re¡ªoh. Oh, now, I admittedly wasn''t expecting that."


    Xavier''s focus snapped back to the cliffs, which were¡­shivering? Flexing? It was like when that monster rose up off the top of the cliffs last time, except it was the whole cliffside.


    Rachel grabbed Xavier''s arm and started dragging him¡­toward the centipedes?! "The hell are you doing?!"


    "We need our ride! Can''t wait for it to come to us anymore!"


    Rock cracked and fell as multiple inhuman screams rent the air.


    Rachel charged toward the centipedes, Xavier reluctantly in tow, and the centipedes charged right back at them.

 Styx: 060

    Styx: 060


    Centipedes of all sizes cascaded past Xavier and Rachel as they sprinted toward the quaking cliffside¡ªeverything from two or three times as big as a normal centipede, to the length of Xavier''s arm. Fortunately, the centipedes ignored them entirely. Rachel had to kick some out of her way every few steps, but they weren''t trying to bite.


    If he''d had time to stop and think about it, this would have made him very nervous, but Xavier was maxed out on fear at the moment and not thinking that clearly.


    As the max size of the centipedes started steadily rising, Xavier looked ahead and saw the cliff appear to collapse back away from them. As it did, granite pillars exploded out of the desert up and down the cliffside, rising vertically into the air in a shower of dirt and rocks and then slamming back down in a percussive set of impacts that made Xavier stumble.


    "What the¡ª" he began, but then he noticed that the pillars were angled at the top and connected to the rolling cliffside and his perspective shifted: they weren''t granite pillars, they were legs.


    "Now that is what I''d call a kami-level concentration of nima!" said Princess appreciatively. "Maybe a few hundred years away from great kami, but very impressive nonetheless! Its exterior is mostly solid rock, so far as I can tell, but still kicking!"


    "Shit! Rachel!"


    "I know! Keep running!"


    "But we''re running toward it!"


    Rachel just dragged him onwards.


    "Are¡­you¡­insane?!"


    "We need a ride¡ªthere!" Rachel veered to the left, dragging Xavier inexorably along, and he realized she was angling for a centipede that was easily as large as the monstrosity that decimated the Sundlin soldiers back when he, Yukio, Sumiko, and Kahina were fleeing past the Oumukade Cliffs.


    As they neared the monster, Xavier reflexively tried to pull out of Rachel''s grasp, but her grip was a vise. The thing was careening toward them, and Xavier screamed and flinched.


    Rachel finally let go of Xavier''s arm, slipped past the monster''s churning legs, and slapped it sharply on the side. The centipede collapsed like a puppet whose strings were just cut.


    Xavier stared.


    "Whoops," said Rachel, and ducked out under the thing''s now-immobile legs. "Guess we laid that on a little thick." She snatched Xavier''s forearm again and scanned the chaos around them. "There''s another!"


    And they were off, running toward a centipede that was even larger.


    "No no no no no no no." Xavier realized he was chanting and shut up. He needed to save his breath, anyway. Rachel never appeared to get tired, but he was fast nearing his limit.


    They intercepted the second centipede successfully, and this time Rachel dragged Xavier straight through the thing''s legs, before once again slapping it on the side. Unlike the first one, this one just seized up and skidded to a halt, forcing Xavier and Rachel to duck under a leg. A different leg slammed into Xavier at an angle and would have sent him to the ground if Rachel hadn''t bodily hauled him right back up. It felt like his shoulder was about to come out of its socket.


    The next thing he knew, Rachel was pushing him up the side of the centipede, which stood quivering under him. He wasn''t quite sure how, but the two made it up to the centipede''s back, and under Rachel''s urging he scooted forward towards the head until the two of them were sitting with their feet braced on the second or third pair of legs.


    "Alright, we''re off! Hold on!" said Rachel, and Xavier barely had a chance to grab her around the waist before the centipede surged forward again.


    If he ever got another chance to ride on a giant bug, he was going to run as fast as he could the other direction. The thing moved in a sickening skittering motion that threatened to throw him off first one way and then the other, and there was absolutely no give in the exoskeleton where it collided with his bottom. He was going to be bruised for life, and possibly sick all down Rachel''s back.


    "Uh, don''t look back," said Princess. Fortunately, Xavier wasn''t able to. He wasn''t sure he could speak without biting off his own tongue, so he kept his mouth grimly shut. "Wow, that''s really a big one."


    The earth shivered and bucked, tossing the centipede slightly into the air and for one horrifying moment Xavier was mid-air instead of sitting on its back. Then he slammed back down again, hugging himself to Rachel''s back hard to keep from sliding off.


    "Ooh, look at that. It''s pretty slow compared to the little ones, but those are big steps. Guess that''s what you get when you convert most of your exoskeleton to rock."


    The ground was shaking in an irregular pattern, although thankfully there was sufficient time between the impacts for their current centipede to be able to keep its footing. Xavier tried to sneak a look backward, almost fell off, and desperately grabbed onto Rachel again. All he caught was a glimpse from his peripheral vision of a giant shadow within a huge dust cloud.


    "Xavier!" yelled Rachel over her shoulder. "I''m going to need you to pass the mononoke forward, and then make sure I don''t fall off! We''re going to need its help to bring that thing down, so Sedgewick wants to cure it of its dependence now!"


    "Princess, can you crawl up there?"


    "Yeah, yeah, no need to shout. Look, Xavier, on the off chance this doesn''t work, and we all die horribly to the oumukade¡­thanks. I love you."


    "You''ll be fine! Get up there!" Abject terror was doing nothing for Xavier''s ability to process confessions of love from plants.


    Princess patted him gently on the cheek, and then crawled over Rachel''s shoulder and dropped into her lap, completely removing her vines from Xavier. Rachel bent over the mononoke, and Xavier held on as best he could.


    If he ever got home, he was going to squish every centipede he met with extreme prejudice.


    <hr>


    An indeterminable amount of time later, Rachel stretched her arms and Xavier snapped out of the horrible fugue state he''d fallen into. He hadn''t vomited, thank goodness, but he hurt in places he didn''t even know could feel pain, and he honestly wasn''t sure how he''d managed to keep them both on top of the centipede.


    Rachel glanced over her shoulder, and her eyes widened. "Huh, we lost most of our lead, looks like. Good thing Sedgewick''s been juicing this thing up."


    "Did it work?" Xavier managed to croak out. His lips and throat were so dry they hurt, but there had been no way to get at his water without falling off the damn undulating centipede.


    "Oh, yes. Your mononoke is its own creature. I think we''re going to have to change our approach here, though. There''s no way we can beat that thing to the Deadlands. Here, hold onto the mononoke for me, it''s a little out of it." Rachel passed a limp Princess to Xavier, who managed to stuff the mononoke down his shirt without actually letting go of Rachel with more than one hand at a time. He didn''t think he''d be able to keep a grip on both Princess and Rachel at the same time. "Okay, hold on, Xavier. We''re going to see if we can climb that thing."


    Wait, climb what thing? He didn''t like the sound of that at all.


    Rachel didn''t wait for him to try and work up enough saliva to comment, however. She leaned forward, planted her hands on the back of their centipede, and without any more warning than that the damn thing twisted around and started running at an angle toward the¡ªoh shit, that was what was chasing them?!


    Xavier stared. His body was having a hard time figuring out how to react, because the scale was just so crazily off. Although its body was still obscured by the sand and dirt that its legs were kicking up, Xavier finally caught a good look at the oumukade''s head. It was hard to tell, but the thing had to be wider than a bus was long, and it appeared to be made almost entirely out of rock. A pair of jagged arm-ish fang things flanked the thing''s maw, which was just¡­absurdly huge. Two stubs of antenna stuck out of the upper corners of its head, although they were both broken off so they didn''t sweep out as far as a normal centipede''s would relative to its body.


    Xavier had thought he would be terrified because centipedes were kind of terrifying on their own, but the scary thing wasn''t that it looked like an insect, it was that something that big was moving toward him.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    Although as they drew nearer, he realized that the thing was slowing, the rhythmic shockwaves of its legs impacting the ground growing steadily slower.


    "What''s it doing?!" he called to Rachel.


    "Sedgewick stopped dangling bait out for it! It should be a lot safer to get on top of it if it''s not moving around, you know?"


    "Bait?"


    "Yeah, he''s been tweaking the aura of our centipede to make the big one think it''s the world snake. Doubt it would have stirred for much less."


    "That makes no sense."


    "Yeah, I don''t really understand it, either. Can''t argue with results, though!"


    By this time, they''d closed with the monster, which loomed overhead like some sort of mountain that had reshaped itself into a piece of nightmare. The centipede they were riding didn''t appear bothered at all: it simply raced forward, and started climbing directly up the nearest leg.


    "Hang on!" shouted Rachel, and it was all Xavier could do to comply. It felt like the damn centipede was completely vertical, although that couldn''t be the case or he was pretty sure he would have fallen already.


    Then when they were most of the way up, the leg lifted, air whipped past Xavier''s face, and the monster set it back down.


    The jolt was so strong that even though he''d been expecting it, Xavier was thrown free. "Rachel!" he screamed.


    She dove after him, their centipede jackknifing behind her because she''d still somehow managed to keep her legs locked to it even though she shouldn''t have had the leverage. The centipede screamed, Rachel tackled Xavier in midair, her hands locked around his chest, and with an almighty crack! the exoskeleton where their centipede was bent broke, leaving them dangling in midair supported only by Rachel''s grip with her legs around the limp top half of the centipede.


    Xavier''s arms were locked around her with a death grip as he swung mostly on his back in midair with her face crushed up against his chest.


    "Xavier, keep a tight hold!" she said in a muffled voice, and then she began to swing them back and forth.


    The exoskeleton of their centipede made some truly horrific-sounding cracking and popping noises, and Xavier realized he was whimpering, but he couldn''t seem to stop. At last Rachel gave a heave and suddenly they were flying through the air until they slammed up against the stone leg they''d been climbing. Xavier was completely unsure how Rachel managed to secure a grip, but he found himself crushed up against the rock with her arms and legs on either side of him. Slightly below them, the centipede they had been riding peeled away and fell. After a single glimpse down, Xavier squeezed his eyes shut.


    "Xavier?" said Rachel, sounding the most strained he''d ever heard her. "Can you shift your grip just a bit? Yes, there! Now don''t let go." And she started dragging the two of them up the damn leg with sheer brute strength. Xavier clung to her and tried not to think about how long it had taken the centipede to fall before it hit the sand.


    At long, long last they somehow made it to the top of the monster, and both of them collapsed onto their backs. The outer part of the creature''s body was definitely made up of rock, but it wasn''t smooth or even. There were huge dips, craters, and jagged pieces; the whole thing was wide enough that when they flopped down near the middle Xavier had absolutely no anxiety about falling off, despite the way the thing moved in huge swoops.


    "Hand me the mononoke, would you Xavier?" Rachel was out of breath, but apparently still moving forward with whatever plan she and Sedgewick had come up with. "Then you should drink some water and relax a little, maybe move over to the shade. This will take a bit."


    Xavier extracted a rather compressed Princess from his shirt. She limply gripped his hand with a vine, so at least she didn''t seem to be badly hurt. Rachel sat up to take her, then casually ripped some nima out of a nearby rock, sending it disintegrating into dust, and shoved it into Princess.


    The mononoke sat fully upright, vines flailing everywhere, but Rachel just batted them aside. "Yes, yes, I''m sure you feel like crap, just like the rest of us. But you''re the only one who can get down closer to the core of this thing in a reasonable amount of time. Sedgewick wasn''t counting on it having ossified quite so badly."


    Princess cocked her flower at Rachel, but made no move to stick her vine up against her head. Xavier felt weirdly happy that she wasn''t willing to talk to just anyone.


    Rachel shrugged, and lightly tossed the mononoke to the rocky surface next to her. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get to it."


    The plant made an indefinable gesture, and Xavier could almost hear the snarky comment that must have accompanied it, but then dug its vines downward and somehow began burrowing into the rock.


    "Boy, Sedgewick, you were right about that one," Rachel commented to no one in particular. "That thing is way more efficient than we would be."


    Xavier dragged his pack off himself, hunted down a canteen, and swallowed a dusty mouthful of water that tasted better than anything he had ever drunk. "What now?"


    "Now we wait for a bit. Once the mononoke hits something resembling a nervous system, we''ll see if Sedgewick can get our new mount moving in the right direction."


    <hr>


    Judging by the sun, it ended up taking a good couple hours for Princess to worm her way sufficiently far into the oumukade for Sedgewick to be able to do¡­whatever it was he needed to do. Xavier spent the time trying and mostly failing to rest.


    Eventually, though, Rachel forced herself back up, dragged her way over to the hole that Princess had dug, and began doing something with nima that Xavier had no good way to track. Soon after, the movement of the giant centipede, which had grown more and more erratic since they''d climbed it, began to pick up again. Its legs really did move slowly¡ªXavier counted and it took about three to five seconds for any given leg to travel through the air before hitting the grown again¡ªbut the monster was so huge that it covered ground fast. The sun hadn''t quite made it to the horizon when Rachel sat back on her heels, heaved a sigh, and looked to Xavier. "We''re here, Xavier. You ready to go home?"


    "What, already? I thought we were days away from the Deadlands!"


    "Yeah, if we were moving at our own speed. This thing is quite a bit faster."


    "Okay, so what happens now?"


    "First off, I need to wait for your mononoke to make its way back out." Rachel patted the rock near the whole where she''d been crouched for the past several hours. "Once it''s free, Sedgewick and I will start tearing this thing apart. That big an influx of nima is going to kick up a real storm, so stay close to me, alright? When we get down to the desert, we should be pretty close to where we need to be, but we might need to run for the exact spot. Once we''re there, Sedgewick and I will start the shaping that should tear a hole for you and me to go back to our reality, but we''re going to need you to pull the nima away and keep it turning."


    Rachel gestured, making a circular motion in front of her with both hands like she was trying to mimic a hurricane. "Sedgewick is pretty sure this will fail unless you can keep the nima flow around us steady, because too much all at once will destabilize the pattern."


    "What are you even talking about?"


    "Basically, I need you to stand near me and pull off as much nima as you can so that it curves around me rather than moving to me. But don''t try to absorb it, alright! Let it go once you''ve got it moving past, and it should go around us in a circle on its own."


    "Oookay."


    "Don''t worry, you''ve got this. You were doing something similar back when I met you in the Sundlin camp. If you didn''t have the skill Sedgewick would have been training you instead of devoting so much of his attention to your mononoke."


    "Glad at least one of us is confident," muttered Xavier.


    A vine slapped down on the rock near Rachel''s hand, and Princess dragged herself free of the hole.


    "Oh, good, we can get started," said Rachel.


    The mononoke moved sluggishly over to Xavier, who scooped her up out of habit as Rachel began making big scooping motions at the hole she''d come out of. Xavier couldn''t quite tell what she was doing until nima suddenly blasted out of the centipede and shot up into the air.


    He felt a now-familiar vine settle into place against his head.


    "Well, Xavier, I think this is it," said Princess. "I heard a bit of what the world snake is planning, and I need to go to ground. If that crazy friend of yours actually succeeds in destabilizing this kami into a nima storm there''s no way I''d survive on the surface."


    "Oh. Uh. Right."


    Princess crawled up his front, gripping the sides of his head with two vines and placing her flower right in front of his face. "Good-bye, Xavier. Thank you for giving me my self back. If the world snake fails you, I''ll find you. "


    "Thanks, Princess. Be safe."


    She touched her flower lightly to his face, and then swung down to the back of the oumukade and boiled over the edge and out of sight in a mass of vines. Xavier watched until she was out of sight over the edge of the nearest leg.


    <hr>


    Rachel carved her way through the back of the oumukade, and around them the nima storm built steadily in fury to the point where Xavier was barely able to keep himself up. At long last, Rachel reached down with both hands and made a giant flinging motion toward the sky. Cracks shattered outward in all directions and nima poured forth in a torrent.


    Xavier had no memory of how they made it down. There was the sensation of falling, the feeling of Rachel''s grip on his arm, the impact when the body of the oumukade hit the desert, and the pain of landing after being thrown across its rocky back. They must have scrambled down, or perhaps Rachel just carved her way through. There was so much nima in the air that he was having a hard time tracking.


    The next thing that really made sense to him was Rachel leaning into his face and screaming at the top of her lungs. "This is it, Xavier! Keep the nima circling!"


    He could barely hear her.


    And Rachel¡ªor maybe Sedgewick, the world snake¡ªbegan. Xavier could barely track what exactly the two of them were doing, but nima came flying at them from every direction with much more violence than it had before. Xavier reached out desperately and pulled, and instead of colliding with Rachel, the bulk of the nima curved toward him. In sudden panic he let it go, dropping to the ground as it whistled over his head.


    "Don''t stop!" screamed Rachel, so he scrambled to his feet and did it again. And again. And again.


    As she worked, Xavier began to believe that he could see a shape in the nima behind her, like a snake''s head growing steadily larger, but he couldn''t focus on it. Whatever she was building appeared to be a sort of lattice of nima that stretched about his own height and double his width.


    For an interminable amount of time Rachel built and Xavier frantically pulled, until all at once everything seemed to pause.


    Farewell, little hungry ones Xavier thought he heard, and then Rachel was grabbing his arm and shoving him into the space where she''d been working a moment before as nima came cascading toward them from all directions in much greater quantities than before. It hit so hard and fast that Rachel stumbled for just a second and a gust lifted her feet off the ground. Time seemed to slow, her eyes widening, and as she released his arm, Xavier screamed "Rachel!", stretched his awareness of nima to his utmost and ripped it savagely towards him.


    Rachel violently collided with him, smack dead in the center of her nima working, which flared incandescent as nima poured into it from all over the Deadlands.


    There was a soundless implosion, and the air instantly stilled. Midway across the Deadlands, what remained of the corpse of a giant centipede collapsed in on itself, rock and legs sloughing off as the head gradually shifted, growing more and more to resemble a giant snake. Elsewhere, a small shower of sand plumed into the air as green vines pulled what appeared to be a small flower to the surface, which shook itself and began gamely trekking towards the center.


    Otherwise, the sand lay empty and still, with no sign that any humans had ever sullied its surface. And the narrative stopped.

 5 Years Later

    5 Years Later


    "Samantha, is that you?"


    Samantha stopped in her tracks, glancing over her shoulder. She assumed the attractive older woman who had called out to her was a teacher, given that she was visiting her old high school, but she couldn''t for the life of herself place her. "Yes¡­?"


    "Oh, I''m sorry! That''s right, I would have looked much different when you were attending. I''m the drama teacher."


    "Ms. Cari?o?!"


    "Well, not anymore technically, but yes! What are you doing back here?"


    "Oh, I was visiting Mrs. Shimamoto. My college has a weirdly long winter break, and I heard that she''s retiring soon so I came to say hello. How''s the old improv club doing?"


    "Wonderful, of course. Let''s see, if memory serves you were one of Xavier Brock''s friends, weren''t you? And Paula? How is Paula doing these days, anyway?"


    Paula was likely bored out of her mind at this point back in their shared apartment and dreaming up ways to torment Samantha when she finally headed back across the state, but Samantha didn''t see any reason to share that. "She''s doing well. She''s been working as a hospital receptionist for the last year or so."


    "And the rest of the gang? Did you keep in contact with Xavier? I was so worried when he missed most of his senior year, and I''m afraid I haven''t heard from him since."Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Samantha shrugged. Although she hadn''t seen Xavier in a while, she was still in sporadic contact with his sister. "He''s fine. I don''t know exactly what happened, and he had to do some remedial work to get his high school diploma, but he got into college maybe a semester late. Do you remember Rachel? Rachel Blanchard? I think she came to improv a few times. Anyway, last I heard they''re living together."


    "Rachel, Rachel, I think I remember her. Kind of quiet? Blonde?"


    "Yeah, that''s her."


    "What''s she doing these days?" Ms. Cari?o seemed more polite than interested.


    That, at least, Samantha had a hard time forgetting. Victoria loved to bitch about Rachel. "She''s studying to be a herpetologist and volunteers at the zoo a lot."


    "Huh. You never know where life''s going to take you, I guess. Well, it was good to talk to you, Samantha! Keep in touch now!"


    Samantha waved, and headed for the exit.


    <hr>


    Jill was out jogging. She couldn''t wait to move out of her mother''s house, but money was tight so until she found a job she was taking a lot of really long runs. She couldn''t stay out forever, though, so with a sigh she headed back towards home.


    As she ran past the street where the Brocks lived she spotted a familiar face. "Hey! Is that you, Vickie? I haven''t seen you in forever!"


    Victoria paused and plastered a smile on her face. One of Xavier''s old friends. Joy. "Hey."


    "You back from college?"


    Victoria shrugged. "Winter break."


    "Great, great. How is everyone? Xavier? Your mom? Rachel? Seamus?"


    "Seamus? Weren''t you going out?"


    "Oh, that ended years ago."


    "Huh. Well, Xavier and Rachel are great. Mom''s¡­mom. Sorry, but I need to go."


    "Oh, of course! Sorry to keep you! Tell everyone hello for me!"


    Victoria waved and walked on.


    Three blocks later, a black cat with a star-shaped yellow mark on its forehead and what looked like cotton balls on stalks emerging from behind its ears barreled out from underneath a bush and collided with Victoria''s legs.


    "What the¡ª" said Victoria, stumbling.


    The cat latched onto her pants with its front claws, pulling itself mostly upright. "Please help me, I beg you!" said the cat in an oddly deep voice. "The fate of the universe depends upon it!"


    Victoria grinned.