《The Lone Wolf's Cry》


 Who Are You?

    A LONE WOLF¡¯S CRY


    CHAPTER 1


    ¡®WHO ARE YOU?¡¯


    In a town somewhere in US, lives Jae. A normal boy attending college, it¡¯s his second year in Architecture and the Coordinator of their year. Jae, is in fact, a push-over ever since he was a child, he couldn¡¯t say no to anyone because he¡¯s scared that everyone will hate him and leave him if he said that he didn¡¯t want to do it. He has trust issues and anxiety, he fears everything, be it love or hate, be it commitment and promises. He lives alone in a rental house with his roommate that became his best friend, Miguel, a beautiful male alpha breed. He¡¯s been roommates with Jar ever since their 2nd year of high school, they are close and he¡¯s the only one Jae can ever turn to when he really needs it.


    Then let¡¯s travel back all the way to Korea¡¯s Joseon Period. Hyeon is a secret child from the King named Sunjong or also known as Emperor Yunghui and his mistress. As the mistress, Hyeon¡¯s mother, didn¡¯t want to take Hyeon with him, she abandoned Hyeon at the palace and the Emperor had no choice but to take care of him. Since Hyeon is also a candidate for the next throne of the King because he also has a royal blood flowing through his veins. Hyeon never once saw his mother nor had an affectionate relationship with his father. The only people in his life were the old ladies that were assigned to take care of him and the guards and cooks in the palace. His half-brother, Yeong, always hated the fact that he was even alive, so he bullied Hyeon when he had time and threw words that traumatized Hyeon for life. But nevertheless, Hyeon grew into such a fine young man, always happy, forgiving, always wanting to help, and he never takes anything for granted. But he has a wish that he tells the moon every night, a wish that he begged the Gods to make a reality, a wish that he had always been hoping for to come true, and that is to find love.


    Jae¡¯s POV


    I¡¯m tired already and I haven¡¯t even got up from my bed.


    I sit up, face reaity, and brush my teeth. After I washed my teeth, I went to the kitchen to find breakfast.


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re up early Jae. Doesn¡¯t your class start until 2 in the afternoon?¡± Miguel greets me.


    Only if I didn¡¯t have a new part-time job I wouldn¡¯t be waking up like this. But of course I can¡¯t say that to Miguel, he will be mad again if he knew I had another part-time job.


    ¡°Yeah, I have to meet up with some of my group mates so we can discuss our project,¡± I lied to Miguel.


    ¡°That¡¯s new, I never thought your group mates would help you,¡± Miguel smirked.


    That¡¯s right, I know I¡¯m a pushover but I just can¡¯t tell people ¡®no¡¯. It scares me to say that.


    ¡°Fuck you Migs,¡± I said as I chuckled from his sarcastic joke.


    He laughed then took his toast. He patted my head before going to his room and start his gaming livestream. Since high school, Miguel liked video games and up until now he loves them. He manages to get extra money by live streaming from night up until morning, only if I had the confidence to do that.


    I get ready for work and watered my cactus first before leaving the house. I love taking care of cactuses, they have their spikes to protect them and they don¡¯t even need a lot of water. But the cactus itself is very soft and vulnerable. The only difference between me and a cactus is that I can¡¯t protect myself.


    My new part-time job is in a convenience store so it¡¯s pretty easy, but it¡¯s always hard dealing with rude costumers. I don¡¯t like them, no one does.


    ¡°Hey,¡±


    It was the other part-timer. I didn¡¯t know it was the end of my shift already.


    ¡°Yo, did you eat lunch?¡± I asked her


    ¡°I didn¡¯t, but it¡¯s okay though I don¡¯t have the time anyways, I¡¯m just gonna eat instant noodles or something,¡±


    She looked like she needed real food.


    I stopped her from going to the bathroom,


    ¡°I¡¯m taking your shift today,¡± I said with a cool expression on my face, ¡°you have to eat real food, go to a restaurant or something,¡±


    She stood there, shocked. She was looking and staring at my face and I don¡¯t even know what¡¯s going through this girl¡¯s mind, honestly.


    ¡°Oh my gosh, Jae are you an actual angel?¡±


    She said, her face was telling me that she was serious about what she said.


    I pushed her out of the store and waved her goodbye as she happily walks, on her way to get lunch.


    I finished my shift and I head home, it was already night and I didn¡¯t even go to school today since I volunteered to take that girl¡¯s shift.


    Oh, I still don¡¯t know her name.


    I was shocked. I mean- how can I not know her name and she knows mine?


    How could I even take her shift when I didn¡¯t know her name?


    As I was walking, on my way back home, I was near the park when someone shouted.


    ¡°Babyyyy~¡±


    Someone shouted with such a cute but disgusting voice. It was Miguel.


    ¡°I told you not to embarrass me in public like that dude,¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    I said, with an annoyed tone.


    We both looked at each others faces and chuckled it off.


    ¡°Megan told me you weren¡¯t at school the whole day,¡± Miguel suddenly brought up.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I paused for a bit, ¡°class was boring so I didn¡¯t want to go.¡±


    Miguel just stared at me, he was like that for a good three minutes when he finally replied.


    ¡°You know,¡± he said then paused. It was like he was hesitating to tell me something.


    ¡°What?¡¯ I said


    ¡°You have a habit of putting your hands in your pockets when you lie,¡± he told me while staring at the stars in the sky.


    ¡°What if I don¡¯t have pockets though? And stop staring at the sky that¡¯s dangerous you might trip while walking.¡±


    I chuckled, because he actually listened to me and kept his eyes on the road.


    ¡°You always have pockets, even your shorts have pockets in them. But when you don¡¯t, you always wear a hoodie because all your hoodies have pockets in front.¡±


    He stopped for a bit.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s like a safe place for you. Whenever you put your hands in them you kinda stop being shaky and nervous and stuff.¡±


    I was amazed by how he knew that little detail about me. Maybe it¡¯s because we¡¯ve lived together by so long that he begins to notice things like this.


    ¡°Yeah, well you always make pancakes when you¡¯re in a bad mood and flood the pancake with maple syrup and butter whenever you¡¯re sad,¡± I told him in a proud tone.


    He laughed slightly while shaking his head. Miguel has always been like that, he cares for everyone, he cares for everything. Maybe he really is an angel sent from above.


    ¡°But baby, it¡¯s because I just really like pancakes with oozing maple syrup and a lot of butter,¡± he said with a lovingly tone. It wasn¡¯t fir for him, imagine an almost six footer man acting like a girlfriend and linking arms with you when you¡¯re only five foot something close to six. It¡¯s weird.


    ¡°No migz, pancakes aren¡¯t supposed to be wet like that, it¡¯s gross,¡± I told him while I chuckled. I knew he was going to get offended by what I said about his dear pancakes.


    ¡°And for the last time, stop calling me baby in public, I¡¯m gonna beat your ass up.¡±


    He was taken back by what I said, or at least that was the expression he had on his face. But he suddenly smirked. And said, ¡°Baby that¡¯s too kinky I didn¡¯t know you like it that way.¡±


    We got home and I didn¡¯t even bother for dinner. I was tired from dealing with costumers, my social battery ran out.


    I need to recharge.


    END OF Jae¡¯s POV]


    ????


    December 3. It was cold since it¡¯s winter, but that wasn¡¯t the only reason why chills traveled through Miguel¡¯s spine.


    It was Jae¡¯s birthday and Miguel wanted to make everything right for Jae¡¯s birthday, he got everything planned out. They agreed to celebrate in on the evening since Miguel had to do emergency work in their campus. He was looking forward to this. He was excited.


    ¡°Baby?¡± He said as soon as he got home, he got cake and party hats for Ja although Miguel knew that Jae would be exasperated. But it was quiet, he felt uneasy. Miguel then tried calling our for Jae again while taking off his shoes and hanging his coat somewhere. Jae still didn¡¯t answer.


    Maybe he was in his room.


    But even before Miguel could say Jae¡¯s name again when entering the room, he fell to the ground. The same time as his hope fell to great despair too.


    Jae was truly in his room. Hanging with a rope tied to his neck connecting to the ceiling while his very pale skin almost turned blue. Miguel knew he had to do something fast, he called 911 while taking a chair and putting Jae¡¯s body down. He tried to search for a pule. And yes, Jae has a pulse, but it was too weak.


    But what even happened?


    DECEMBER 1


    It¡¯s a normal day for everyone. Jae had already quit his part time jobs, and he was ready. I don¡¯t know if excitement is the right word but he was looking forward  in this plan that he has. Because why not? It¡¯s a win for him, everything will be done.  No more pain.


    As the day progresses, while Jae is in the kitchen eating his cereal laughing at the comedy show that he¡¯s watching in his phone, Miguel felt happy too. Miguel felt like, maybe this is a turn of events, that finally Jae is able to be truly happy without even faking it. That maybe, this was a start of something nice.


    ¡°Baby, I¡¯m gonna go out to get grocery, do you want me to buy anything?¡±


    Miguel asks Jae, but no. He wasn¡¯t going out just to buy groceries, he was out to get Jae¡¯s birthday gift since it¡¯s close. Miguel was thinking of getting something very special since this may really be the first birthday that Jae is going to be very happy about. It was special for Miguel too, because he was with Jae through it all. And now that he feels that Jae is happy, he feels relieved, and he wants to make this special


    ¡°Please buy chocolate chips for me, be careful on your way there and back home,¡± the way Jae smiled was magical, words can¡¯t even be used to describe the feeling that Miguel had felt as he saw that genuine smile from Jae. It felt so warm that it was home.


    It was a weirdly good day for the both of them. Jae didn¡¯t even scold Miguel not to call him baby. As Miguel walks through the mall, he saw this beautiful ring. It was a simple one, with three diamond, two smaller ones that the one in the middle was big. Miguel pictured Jae wearing that and refusing to take it and asking what the price is. He giggled by the thought of that. He felt home again.


    He entered the store and asked for that specific ring as soon as the sales lady talked. The lady then asked him what size the finger is, and now this is where most love story scenes come, where he doesn¡¯t know the size of the finger and he has to try and measure it and it ends up being so fluffy and romantic. But no, Miguel already knew, of course he did.


    But this isn¡¯t a love story. This isn¡¯t their love story.


    Miguel had asked the lady to wrap the precious gift beautifully, as it was a very special moment for them both. In Miguel¡¯s mind, this was the fresh start they needed.


    He was very excited to go home knowing that someone was waiting for him. This was a new feeling, but he couldn¡¯t even think of anything else, he was just happy for the both of them.


    Miguel got home and cooked spaghetti, Jae loves spaghetti more than anything else. Jae was always complaining to Miguel because he wouldn¡¯t cook for him, it was a lot of work, cooking in general. Miguel was an okay cook, but spaghetti has been always hard for him to do, and no one knew why. Maybe it was meant to be like that.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you cook my favorite today?¡±


    Jae asked as he stuffed his mouth full of spaghetti, ¡°You don¡¯t like cooking spaghetti right?¡±


    ¡°Just because, I just felt like cooking it today,¡± Miguel responded, he paused for a bit, ¡°by the way, you seem so happy theses days, anything good happened?¡¯


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s just that, I¡¯m looking forward to celebrating my birthday. I¡¯m excited.¡±


    And there was that smile again. It was so genuinely warm that it felt like it wasn¡¯t even real. Miguel was of course, shocked as Jae told him that. Jae never cared about his birthday, he never cared about anything except other people besides himself.


    DECEMBER2


    It wasn¡¯t a dream. Miguel is still feeling the happiness coming from Jae. He was wondering why Jae was looking forward to his birthday so much, but it made him so happy to know that. Although it was still a little weird for Miguel, he just went with the flow.


    They played video games together, which was a first because Jae didn¡¯t like playing with Miguel since he was bad at games. They laughed, giggled.


    They ate in a restaurant near them, which was also a first since Jae doesn¡¯t like going to places like that. Jae was the type to just order take away food or something like that.


    It was truly a remarkable and great day.


    DECEMBER3


    ¡°Good morning, and happy birthday to you my one and only husband,¡± Miguel greeted Jae energetically as soon as Jae came out of his room.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± he giggled ¡°when are going to stop that silly act though.¡±


    Jae said with his sexy morning voice. He was still smiling, genuinely, being brighter than the sun,


    When it actually becomes real.


    Miguel thought as to reply to Jae, but it was too early to say that. Miguel planned to tell Jae how he truly felt this day, and how he is so in love with Jae that he could go crazy.


    ¡°Oh right, baby I hate to do this but I have something urgent to take care of at school, I think I¡¯ll be back by evening, I¡¯m so sorry,¡± Miguel said with a sad voice while putting a plate of not-soaked-with-butter-and-maple-syrup pancake he had made.


    ¡°Hmm? That actually works for me though, I actually have things to do so evening¡¯s just fine,¡± as Jae stuffed his mouth with the home made pancake, Miguel still felt bad but he also felt relieved.


    NOW BACK TO THE PRESENT


    This was what I was looking forward to, good bye.


    A note said, crumpled up because it was between the rope and Jae¡¯s neck.


    It was for Miguel, it was specifically for Miguel. And Miguel knew.


    It might not look like much but that one sentence was enough for Miguel to understand and connect every single detail and point that was made. He understood.


    It was like telling Miguel to take care of himself.


    It was Jae telling Miguel not to dwell on this.


    That it¡¯s alright.


    And now the pain Jae had always felt is now gone.


    Miguel understood that.


    As the involuntary tears come streaming down his face, Miguel wasn¡¯t about to give up. Jae wasn¡¯t dead yet, and so was Miguel¡¯s hope. Miguel had heard the ambulance outside their house. As he clenched down to the ring and love the he was supposed to give Jae tonight, he needed to stay strong first. For the both of them.


    - CHAPTER 1 end -

 Where Am I?

    A LONE WOLF¡¯S CRY


    CHAPTER 2


    ¡®WHERE AM I?¡¯


    [ Jae¡¯s POV ]


    Zephyr, was the only thing that came to mind, because the slight breeze felt so nice. As I lay down somewhere grassy with a hint of nature smell, is this what death is like?


    My body is heavy and I can¡¯t move an inch, but this feels quite nice. Maybe I can get used to this. I stayed like that for about five minutes or so before questioning everything that I¡¯m feeling right now. Why can I still feel things? Why can I still smell? Does death really work like this? Am I in hell or in heaven? I tried opening my eyes, and as I did I see this garden full of different colored flowers. I was lying in red colored ones. Maybe it¡¯s summer, it was quite sunny and kind of warm, I didn¡¯t know if it came from the sun or maybe it was because of the flowers. They were quite comforting.


    It was the red spider lily flowers, meaning death. So I really am dead. Suddenly a footstep approaches me, I wanted to move and I totally would if I could but my body just doesn¡¯t listen to me. As the footsteps are getting closer, the only thing I could hear was my racing heartbeat, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m dead.


    NOTE THAT ALL CONVERSATIONS ARE KOREAN SINCE THEY ARE IN KOREA.


    ¡°Finally, the moon has made my wish come true,¡± the man exclaimed cheerfully. He faces me and cups my face as I see the excitement and happiness in his eyes. His complex weren¡¯t of an American, he was an Asian, maybe.


    Wait, did I just understand a foreign language?


    No, this can¡¯t be quite right, I totally heard him speak but it definitely wasn¡¯t in English. But how can I understand him? I didn¡¯t even study other languages than Tagalog. And wish? What wish came true? What is going on?


    ¡°Pick him up and take him to my carriage,¡± he demands, there were four men that could win a fight in WWE with that body. I couldn¡¯t do anything, I can¡¯t even complain. As one man carries me, he sternly tells the man to hold me ¡°gently.¡±


    Maybe he¡¯s someone who holds power.


    The carriage is nice, it smelled nice, and this man did too. He carefully placed my head onto his lap and slightly caressed my hair and my face, it was like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. I was tired, so I slept.


    ? ? ?


    ¡°Oh you¡¯re finally up, my angel,¡± a handsome face appears before me. I was feeling more refreshed and it was the perfect coziness that I felt. I was wearing a white-like robe and another robe with designs on top of it.


    ¡°Are you hungry? I have prepared lots of food only for you, tell me if you need anything else,¡± the handsome man told me. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m dreaming or what. But I was definitely not dead.


    I was concerned on whether I should speak or not, maybe he wouldn¡¯t understand me, or maybe I can suddenly speak another language now. Nevertheless, I tried speaking up.


    ¡°Who are you?¡± a hoarse voice came out from my mouth.


    And I was definitely speaking a language that I have never studied before.


    ¡°Oh my, what a great sound,¡± the man said as he smiled, ¡°I am Hyeon, your forever partner in life. I shall be the one that protects you, and I shall love you for as long as I live.¡±


    He uttered with a honey-like voice. It was like a lullaby, he can read an entire encyclopedia for me and I wouldn¡¯t get tired of his voice.


    ¡°But I am a man, what do you mean I¡¯m your partner?¡± My voice was still hoarse but I needed to know. What is this man talking about? Does he have some kind of illness or anything? I think he¡¯s mentally not okay.


    ¡°I asked the moon for you. I have waited for years and years for you to come into my arms. Gender shall not be an obstacle, you are my fated partner,¡± he said.


    ¡°The moon? This is too much for me, what do you mean? And where are we right now?¡±


    ¡°The moon shall hear your prayers, and the Gods shall make it come true. If your patience and sincerity has been acknowledged, then they shall grant it,¡± he paused, ¡°that was what someone told me when I was a kid, and we are in Korea right now. Are you not from here?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t believe it, this isn¡¯t real. This isn¡¯t supposed to be real. What I wanted was to rest, and die. I just wanted the pain to end but why is this happening?


    A tear ended up escaping my eyes. It was a mix of frustration, anger, sadness, and disappointment, I was confused.


    Hyeon was shocked, he immediately hugged me tight. It was warm, he felt like home.


    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.Maybe it was just because I was sad, but I felt so comforted by Hyeon¡¯s hug. I wanted to stay like this forever.


    ¡°You shall be safe, and you shall be happy, as long as I am here no one can hurt you in any way possible. I shall not die for as long as you live, I shall serve you for the rest of my life. ,¡± he said ¡®I love you¡¯. I don¡¯t think anyone has told me that before. I don¡¯t think anyone has put this much effort on me before. But I can¡¯t just trust him, I can¡¯t trust him yet. What if he actually wants to kill me? Or maybe he doesn¡¯t actually mean what he says. What if I wasn¡¯t the one that he was wishing for? That¡¯s why I can¡¯t.


    [ Hyeon¡¯s POV ]


    He¡¯s finally in my arms. This man that I am looking at directly right now, is the one that I have wished for my entire life. I may not still know his name, but we can take this nice and slowly. We have the entire lifetime after all.


    I can not believe my eyes, he is so pretty that I can take a bullet for him. As I touched his face, the friction I feel is amazing. All I want to do is love with in any way I can. I have to get him to trust me, this is what I have been waiting for, this is the fruit of my patience.


    Once when I was traveling, I saw an old man struggling to carry his things with him. I was in my carriage and I could not just turn a blind eye. I was only ten years old back then, of course you want to help anyone in any way that you can. When we were close on his destination, he told me a story.


    ¡®Once upon a time, a man was lonely. He had no one to talk to and no one to turn to. He had no things to play with, nor experiment with.


    This man became desperate, every night he howls to the moon like a lone wolf, he prays and wishes for things. He didn¡¯t want expensive ones, but only just a companion was enough. He would always cry at night as he screamed at the moon. It went on for years, some days his voice became hoarse, but he still didn¡¯t let a day pass by without begging the Gods and the moon. He was very patient.


    One day, a flower appeared before him, it was a red rose. He was enlightened by this, and wanted to treat this rose well. He watered it, watched over it, and tells the rose the stories of his life and random things he would think of. But he grew tired of the rose, he watered it less and less and kept forgetting about it. A night came where sadness was covering the whole room. He sat next to his dying rose as he uttered, ¡®if only you would answer me¡¯. The rose suddenly shined and became a woman. The moon had heard his cry for help again. Then they lived as happy as they could within that lifetime.¡¯


    ¡°Just like that man, you shall aspire to be like that too,¡± he paused for a bit while he took out what seemed to be a necklace, ¡°and if ever the moon grants what you wish for, always keep this close to your treasure, this shall help that treasure safe from all madness of this world.¡±


    ¡°The moon shall hear your prayers, and the Gods shall make it come true. If your patience and sincerity has been acknowledged, then they shall grant it.¡±


    The man smiled and patted me in the head before leaving. And that¡¯s what I did, I tried to be like that man.


    And now here it is. The most precious treasure that I can ever get a hold of. And I shall cherish this treasure, and keep it safe no matter what and no matter where. I shall save you from all the dangerous things this world may bring. You shall be reborn, as my new light, and as a new person. You shall be mine, and only mine.


    ? ? ?


    He was up again, I guess all these things coming at once must be tiring for him. I just watched him as he opens his eyes, and realize that that this was another world. That he shall be reborn.


    ¡°It¡¯s a nice full moon,¡± he uttered. It was like he didn¡¯t mean to say that out loud.


    ¡°It is because you are going to be reborn,¡± I said.


    ¡°Why?¡± he paused and looked at me in the eyes, ¡°is is not okay if I¡¯m just me? Do I really need to be reborn?¡±


    ¡°Of course not my sweet treasure, I am so sorry for offending you like that,¡± I held his head, ¡°what I meant was you are to be someone a lot more powerful, someone to be feared of. Not like the life that you had lived before.¡±


    I hugged him tight as to reassure him of my pure intentions.


    ¡°The past life I had? How would you even know that?¡± He sounded so confused. I don¡¯t want him to get all confused again, I do not wish for him to make his head hurt again.


    ¡°Because of the dreams that I had about you. They were the hints that the moon had gave me before finally letting you into my arms,¡± I tried to sound as sweet as honey, I laid him on the bed again and wrapped him in blankets. He shall get as much sleep as the stress that he had gained this day.


    ¡°Good night my treasure, we shall talk again tomorrow and you shall ask anything in your will,¡± I kissed him on the forehead and he seemed quite shocked, ¡°but for tonight, get as much rest as you can. And I will not dare leave your side, do not fret for I am only one call away.¡±


    The reassurance made him calm, I knew it by his expressions. It was like we were really made to cross paths with each other, that we were meant to be.


    He quickly fell asleep, maybe he was too tired. This is the only time that I am letting my treasure be this worried. He shall know no pain. The dreams that I had bout him were too painful, it was all suffering. Somehow for him, living everyday only meant pain. And I am not about to let him experience that twice.


    I am confident that I can gain his trust and make him let out all of these pent up frustrations and sadness in him. But I will take it slowly, for I know that he is the fragile type. He is a thin glass, very sensitive. Once push of force and he will definitely break, but he doesn¡¯t even show it. And I thank the moon everyday for letting me know this man more and more. I thank the Gods for letting me know how to handle this man first before giving him to me. Maybe even the Gods love him.


    ? ? ?


    As I was in deep sleep, I was suddenly woken up by a voice I heard outside my window. And I instinctively knew that it was the moon.


    ¡°The treasure that you are receiving right now, is truly adored by the Gods. Dare to hurt that man again and you shall know more pain and suffering. That man is respected by us, and every other creature that is with our bounds,¡± the voice said, ¡°make him the happiest man on earth, and you shall live together happily too.¡±


    And just like that, I was woken up again and it was morning. I don¡¯t think I was dreaming, and the moon didn¡¯t have to tell me all of that, because that was my intention from the start. I get up from my bed to greet my precious gift, I want to give him his first ever meal here in my household. But I suddenly heard a scream, it was a scream of one of my servants. And it was coming from my treasure¡¯s room.


    I rushed there to see what was going on. I am scared of what I may see, I am scared of what had happened. And all I saw was him, the broken vase in his room, and his bleeding wrists.


    ¡°Bring the most talented doctor over right now, or all of you are fired,¡± I shouted at my servants. They rushed off and the others were tending my man, they were wrapping him up with bandages when one servant came to talk to me.


    ¡°My Lord, we need to replace his dirtied clothes and wipe off the blood on his body. Would you let us do that?¡± She told me as she was hesitating to talk, she was scared of me. But I can¡¯t let my emotions get the best of me now. I have to think rationally.


    ¡°No, let me do it. Get me a basin of warm water and some cloth to wipe the blood. Give me a fresh set of clothes too, please hurry,¡± I told my servants. They quickly did what I had told them to do.


    I walked towards my dream, and my dream was dying. His pale skin looked much more pale, his reddish mouth weren¡¯t red at all anymore, he looked so weak and I blame myself for that. I should have slept in the same room as him, I should have woken up a lot earlier to see hoe he was doing. But I know that self pity won¡¯t do any of us good.


    I caressed his face gently, and I kissed his forehead. My servants came with the things the I was asking for. I told them to close the door and leave. I undressed my love and carefully wiped off all the blood that stained his beautiful skin. He was too sacred for me. I was scared that I would break him. But nevertheless, I had to move fast so his body wouldn¡¯t get cold, he was still breathing so that was a relief for me.


    I wanted him to live for me, and for himself.