《Forget Me Not》


 Chapter I

    "You are enough just as you are."


    - Meghan Markle


    <hr>


    In the mirror, a girl looks back at me.


    Long, thick lashes curl around each corner of her black, dispassionate eyes. Vague, dark circles shadowed her olive skin. A hand raised to caress the slightly rough texture of her colored features, and her eyebrows furrowed in disdain. The detached expression in her eyes turned rotten at the sight of her appearance.


    I loathed the sand-like composure of her hide, the vacant aspect of her face, and the frizz and density of her ebony locks.


    And her body.


    Oh, how I hated the way it looked. I was sure the very sight of it would turn off anybody. She didn''t have the perkiness in her breasts that men and women alike adored. She didn''t have the clean-shaven body of a slender model. She didn''t have the curve in her dull, dip-hips, and she wasn''t tall, only reaching her ridiculous height of 150 cm. She wasn''t too fat, nor was she too skinny. She was... Average, but not enough to appeal to the eye.


    I closed my eyes, not daring to look at the mirror again, knowing well that I would just hate myself more.


    "Bellona! Are you done in there? School''s starting in 15 minutes!"


    "I know. I''ll be out soon."


    I glanced once more at the girl in the mirror and left the bathroom, wondering if she could ever change the way I wanted her to.


    <hr>


    My mom dropped me off in front of the school. A feeling of dread overwhelmed me as I stepped onto the campus grounds. Even if it was only the second week of senior year, the same emotions would always hold me in place like I was some chained dog.


    "Have a good day, Bell!"


    "Yeah... Sure," was the bland reply that came out of my mouth.


    Hearing the car drive away, I adjusted the bag over my shoulders, preparing myself for another shitty day at the academy. I tread my way into the building, greeted by a few judging eyes. I never understood why people liked to base their first opinions on the appearance of others. From the way they looked at me, I just knew they were already making statements about my looks. At least I wasn''t shitting on them for the way they looked. I could hardly care less unless their personalities told me otherwise.


    Honestly, I couldn''t blame them for judging me. Regardless if I was in uniform or not, they would still find me repugnant. I wasn''t a sight to look at. If anything, I was average, the kind of average that''s noticeable but easily replaceable. Because I was attending an international school, there were plenty of attractive foreigners. I was one of them, excluding the attractiveness.


    My first class was Symphonic Orchestra, one of the decent courses in my schedule. I arrived in the performing arts hallway, already hearing the choir students'' melodious voices hanging near the practice rooms. I used to be a member of Honor Choir several years back, but I hated the wannabe divas in my group. Hearing the choir students sing everyday sort of made me miss the times when I used to sing.


    Sort of.


    I entered the orchestra room, the blasting of brass and the droning of strings rang in my ears, overlapped by minimal chatter. I walked to the back room so I could retrieve my viola. I zoomed past the few girls mingling in the corner of the room and grabbed my instrument from the rack. I opened the viola case, checking if everything was the same as they were yesterday. As I examined the contents, I heard the girls tattling amongst themselves in Tagalog.


    "Parang baboy ang mukha..."


    I heard them laugh, and I frowned. I knew they were talking about me, but I said nothing. I mean... What was I supposed to say? I had a pig nose, and my skin color looked the same as burnt lechon.


    "Hindi niya maintindihan ang Tagalog!"


    "Nakakahiya naman!"


    Little did they know, I did understand what they were saying. Tagalog was my second language. I learned it within two months when I visited Manila, but I forgot it overtime after returning to Cebu. Sometimes, I forgot I wasn''t in the Philippines anymore. This was America. I feared speaking Cebuano ever since I came to the states, where I was met with racial discrimination. My parents thought that problem would be solved if they made me attend an international school, but nothing seems to have changed.


    There may have been an abundant amount of people around the globe attending this academy, but that isn''t going to stop the discrimination. It just doesn''t magically disappear.


    I shut my case, not bothering to even look back at them, and left the backroom, but their words still remained in my head like the countless lyrics of songs I''ve memorized over the years.


    I sat in my assigned chair, unpacked my viola, and prepped it for playing. As I let my instrument rest on my shoulder comfortably, I glanced up at the clock.


    It was almost 8 AM.


    This was going to be a long day.


    <hr>


    Japanese class. The last one of the day.


    I loved taking Japanese despite my resentment towards some of the people in the class.


    As I was entering the classroom, my Senseibowed her head and greeted me kindly, "Konnichiwa, Bellona-san!"


    "Konnichiwa, Sensei."I greeted timidly. I flashed a small smile at her and wandered off to my seat upfront. The person next to me shifted uncomfortably in her seat. I wasn''t sure if this action was out of discomfort from my appearance or from the lack of familiarity. We frequently changed seats everyday. I''ve never seen this girl in my previous years of Japanese, so I assumed she was new to the academy. Trying not to make her feel that way, I did my best "hello" smile. She looked at me for a quick second and turned her head away, fiddling with her hands.


    Terrific, Bellona. Great first impression.


    I accepted my little failure and leaned back against my seat, waiting for the rest of the students to barge in. After a few minutes, the bell rang, and Sensei shut the door. Any students who were late to class had no chance of getting in unless they had some late pass.


    Sensei gracefully walked to the center and smiled brightly at everyone. "Sara-san, please begin the greetings."


    Sara, the girl sitting next to me, shot up from her seat, stuttering."K-Kiritsu!"


    Everyone in the room stood up.


    "Rei!"We all bowed and greeted in unison."Konnichiwa!"


    "Chakuseki!"And everyone sat back down.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    This was how Japanese class started every day. Sensei would call upon someone to do the daily greeting. I was glad she didn''t tell me to do it today. I hated hearing the sound of my unnaturally deep voice. I could easily change my voice''s tone and pitch to sound more feminine, but I wasn''t going to risk my voice cracking or sounding strange while changing my way of speaking.


    As my Sensei sat at her desk, she spoke up. "Today, we''ll be changing seats again, but this time..." I heard loud clicking from her keyboard, "This seat change will be permanent."


    I heard a couple of people erupt in chatter as she said this. They were probably upset about the new change. I scanned the room through the corner of my eye. I realized that there were a few new faces, the rest being ones that I already knew but never bothered to interact with. Beside me, Sara gulped. Clearly, she was nervous about moving seats. I wasn''t exactly excited about it either. I was sure most of the people in the class were not fond of me, and I had no idea why.


    The projector turned on, and an image of what looked to be the new seating chart popped up on the board. I searched for my name on the sheet. I was placed somewhere close to the front but in the middle row.


    "Refer to the chart when finding your seats,onegaishimasu!"


    I could already hear people jumping out of their seats and shuffling around the room. I got out of my chair and retreated to the front of the room, watching everyone look between the board and the rows of desks. I waited to sit down until almost everyone found their spots. I made my way to my assigned seat, plopping myself down on the chair and setting my bag under the desk.


    Quickly zipping my bag up and placing my notebook and mechanical pencil on the table, I sat straight in my seat. I heard rustling to the side of me, and I looked to my side. I was met with an incredibly striking hue of grey eyes and smooth, blond locks of hair. I reeled back a bit in surprise. This was someone I never saw in my Japanese class before. Whoever this guy was, he shot a warm smile at me and started speaking, which stunned me.


    "Hey there."


    His voice was like silk, sensuous and insistent, but gravely temperate. It was deep but soft enough to please the ears.


    "Um, hello..." I greeted him, a bit shaken. This was a first. Almost all the people who ever bothered to say hi to me were not genuine in their speech, but this guy... This guy was different. The friendliness, rather than the animosity that I was used to, was apparent in his voice.


    "This is my first year here at Desert View," the new guy said. It took me a while to notice that he had a minor accent. A British one. "It''s not as... cozy as the last school I went to, but it''s not bad."


    I opened my mouth to respond to his opinion, but my Sensei spoke up first.


    "Rinjin ni jiko sh¨­kai shite kudasai."


    I hesitantly turned to look at him, and he grinned at me. "I''m guessing we have to introduce ourselves in Japanese?"


    I tried to avoid his piercing gaze, but I couldn''t bring myself to look away, "Y-Yeah."


    "Alright! Ladies first then!" He gestured for me to start, and I paused.


    "Ano... H-Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Ber¨­na desu. Soshite, j¨± nanasai desu. Itaranai ten ga ¨­i kamo shiremasenga, ganbarimasunode, yoroshiku onegaishimasu."


    I bow my head as soon as I end my introduction. There was a short silence, and I slowly look up to see him gaping at me.


    "Wow. How''d you speak so fast like that?" He leaned forward in his seat. "I can barely sustain a Japanese accent! You''re really impressive!"


    I was taken aback by his sudden rush of compliments, and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. I wasn''t used to receiving good feedback from people. I averted my eyes from him. It didn''t help that he was undeniably good-looking.


    "Anybody here could do what I did..." I mumbled in response.


    "Well, for one. I can''t do what you did, even though this is my fourth year of Japanese!" He chuckled and lowered his voice enough for only the two of us to hear.


    "I''m just gonna introduce myself in English." He jabbed a thumb to his chest. "I''m Cyrus Alistair Drake. You can call me any of those three, but most people call me Drake. I''m from Cambridge, England, and just turned 18 a few weeks ago."


    "S¨­ desu ka?Well um,hajimemashite... Ano... Sairasu-kun."


    He beamed at me like a ray of light. "Bellona, huh? Are you... Hawaiian or mixed?"


    "I''m Filipino."


    He simply stared at me with this scrutinizing gaze, and I shifted uncomfortably.


    "There''s no way you''re Filipino!" He shook his head. "You''ve gotta have some kind of African or Spanish blood in ya!"


    I subconsciously lifted a hand to my face to touch my skin. "What makes you say that?" I said, my voice wavering.


    Unexpectedly, he reached out and snatched a few strands of my wavy and curly locks. He gently rubbed it between his fingers and said, "All the pure Filipinas I''ve seen have straight hair. While you have this mix of everything!" He twisted a strand around his finger. "It''s honestly exotic and fascinating..."


    I was... Astonished. It was my first time hearing someone say that about my hair. Ever since I came to America, the only comments I''ve ever received from anyone were: Horsehair, wig hair, and witch hair. Back in the Philippines, everyone thought my parents weren''t my real parents. They thought I came from an African or Pacific Islander family or something. There was never a single compliment that came from anyone, except now.


    "Fascinating?" I muttered. There was no way in hell this was real. He was probably just saying that to seem nice.


    He''ll just hurt you like everyone else.


    Out of instinct, I swatted his hand away, startling him by my abrupt action.


    "Bullshit," I whispered and turned away from him. I could feel his eyes burning into me now, but I had no regrets.


    I heard him sigh.


    "Sorry. I must''ve made you uncomfortable. I should''ve asked first before touching your hair like that." He clicked his tongue, "A shitty first impression I must''ve made there..."


    Deep inside, I felt a pang of guilt.


    Was he genuinely trying to be nice to me?


    No.


    Don''t believe it.


    Their kindness is all an illusion.


    Trustno one.


    I said nothing in response to his apology. I just wanted the class to be done and over with now.


    It wasn''t my first time meeting guys like him. Always so kind and open on the outside, but devilish and devious on the inside. Next thing you know, they''ll either throw you away or use you as a tool for their convenience. I just... can''t bring myself to become friends with anyone. They''re just going to judge me and hurt me, treating me like I don''t even have feelings! I have to keep my guard up at all times, no matter who it is.


    Don''t let some pretty boy waver your thoughts.


    Trust no one, Bellona.


    Not even yourself.


    "Okay, class! Take out your textbooks!"


    Hearing my Sensei finally speak up after a while relieved some of my stress, but deep down, something in me was cracking.


    And I know it would soon break.


    I watch Cyrus from the corner of my eye as I take my textbook out.


    I wish I could trust you, but everything inside me tells me that you''ll end up being just like them...


    <hr>


    <u>Translations</u>


    Parang baboy ang mukha:Her face is like a pig


    Hindi niya maintindihan ang Tagalog:She can''t even understand Tagalog


    Nakakahiya naman:What a shame/Such a shame


    Konnichiwa:Good afternoon


    Sensei:Teacher


    -san:A Japanese honorific closely meaningMr., Miss, Ms., or Mrs.


    Kiritsu:Stand up


    Rei:Bow


    Chakuseki:Sit down


    Onegaishimasu:Please


    Rinjin ni jiko sh¨­kai shite kudasai:Please introduce yourself to your neighbor


    Ano... H-Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Ber¨­na desu. Soshite, j¨± nanasai desu. Itaranai ten ga ¨­i kamo shiremasenga, ganbarimasunode, yoroshiku onegaishimasu:Um... Pleased to meet you. My name is Bellona and I am 17 years old.I might have many flaws, but I''ll do my best so please be kind to me


    S¨­ desu ka:Is that so


    -kun:A Japanese honorific used to address men,male children, male teenagers, or male friends orused by people of senior status addressing or referring to those of junior status

 Chapter II

    "You know you''re in love when you can''t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."


    - Dr. Seuss


    <hr>


    It was Friday, and I couldn''t wait for the weekend, even if it was just two days of freedom from this hellhole.


    My fourth period of the day was over, and it was finally lunchtime. I slung my guitar case over my shoulder and ambled my way out of the guitar room. All the performing arts classes I had were sort of my stress relievers, and guitar was one of my favorites. The people in my class were not as stuck up as the orchestra and theatre kids. The choir kids were pretty decent, and the band kids were... somewhat strange, even though I used to be one of them.


    As I left the guitar room, someone bumped my shoulder, almost making me fall over. I turned my head to face my traducer, my eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.


    "Hey, watch where you''re going, shortstack," a gruff, masculine voice barked.


    The one who bumped into me was someone that I rather disliked, and unfortunately, he sat right behind me in guitar class.


    Kalei Alohilani. An infamous, brooding playboy that stalked the halls of Desert View International Academy like a lion searching for its prey. I''ve known him ever since he was a freshman, but I never bothered to talk to that manwhore, until this year, that is.


    Adjusting my guitar strap, I glared at him and muttered foully, "Someone must''ve rejected your offer to sleep with you..."


    That Hawaiian prick snapped his head at me, scowling, his amber eyes seething like fire. When I thought he was going to make a move on me, he turned away, stuffing his hands into his pockets and muttering, "Tch. Girls like you drive me nuts."


    I rolled my eyes at his comment and proceeded to walk away, saying, "And men like you aren''t any better." I didn''t look back to see his reaction because I was sure he was still mad at me. I quickened my pace to the orchestra room, which was all the way at the other side of the performing arts hall. I had to snag the keys to a practice room before they were all occupied, but knowing those choir and band students, they were definitely going to claim them before I did.


    It was worth a shot to see if any of the rooms were still open.


    I maneuvered through the crowds of students as fast as possible, careful not to knock anyone down. To my disappointment, when I reached the practice rooms, they were all taken. I sighed in defeat. Where was I gonna go now?


    I scanned the orchestra and band room for any empty spots where no one would bother me, but they were all filled to the brim with students. I placed my hands on my hips, pondering on where I''d go to relax for lunch. Then, an idea hit me.


    The Japanese room was always open. How did I not think of that before?


    Not wasting a second, I fast-walked out of the performing arts hall, now entering the cafeteria and quad. It was a hassle having to avoid not running into anyone on the way to the Japanese room. I was getting strange, unwelcoming looks from many students as I sauntered the halls. I didn''t care what they thought of me. I just wanted some alone time to myself. Is it really that hard for people to respect my wishes?


    Finally reaching the Japanese room, I swung open the door and bowed as I entered. "Konnichiwa, Sensei."


    "Bellona-san! Can you come here for a moment?" My Sensei motioned for me to come over, and I shuffled forward to her desk.


    "Mondai ga arimasu ka?" I was worried that I must''ve done something wrong with my recent homework sheet, but thankfully, by the tone of her voice, it wasn''t that.


    "Mondai nai. I''m actually offering you to become a temporary mentor for Japanese for extra credit! Are you up for it?" She smiled at me kindly, and I felt my spirits brighten. I never really considered myself good at Japanese, but the fact that my teacher considered me as a candidate for mentorship lifted some of my self-esteem.


    "S-Sure, demo... Watashi ni amari kitai shinaide kudasai!" I bowed my head. I was a little nervous about this mentorship thing, especially since it meant having to interact with someone. I wasn''t sure who I was going to tutor in Japanese, and I was hoping it wasn''t an underclassman. They were always lazy with their work and never bothered to study. Even if they did, I saw no point in teaching someone who didn''t fully commit to their studies.


    Sensei nodded her head in understanding. "Anata ni shinji te imasu."


    "Who am I mentoring?"


    Sensei put on her thinking face, staring blankly past my shoulder. "I told him to come in during lunch today. I think he should be¡ª Ah! There you are!" She sat up in her chair and waved a hand. I turned around to see who she was talking about, and my eyes widened in surprise.


    There was no mistaking those grey eyes and blond hair.


    It was Cyrus.


    And I was his mentor.


    <hr>


    The final bell rang to dismiss the last classes.


    People fell in line to exit the Japanese room, and I sat awkwardly in my seat as I watched Cyrus open his textbook. I pulled my sleeves up to coat my hands, a habit I had when I was nervous or embarrassed. My eyes wandered to the blond beside me. His hand was propped up to support his chin as he flipped to a certain page in the textbook. The expression on his face was something I couldn''t exactly describe. He looked bored, but the way his eyebrows furrowed and the way his eyes examined the material in front of him told me he was probably thinking of something and that something wasn''t the textbook.


    I felt my cheeks heat up, and I covered them with my clothed hands. I wanted to slap myself for my uncharacteristic behavior. I sighed faintly.


    "Bellona? Are you alright? You look sick." Cyrus'' deep voice shook me alive. His head was slightly tilted in my direction, his chin still balanced on his hand and his grey orbs watching me with profound apprehension and curiosity.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    I lowered my hands from my face and stared down at my hands, not bothering to look at him. "I''m not sick. I just feel strange, that''s all." I was technically telling the truth.


    I could feel his gaze still on me, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.


    "You can tutor me some other time, you know? You''re probably tired. I don''t want you to feel overworked." He closed his textbook and leaned back in his seat.


    I shook my head and looked up at him. "No, I''m not tired! It''s my responsibility to be a mentor to you. I can''t just pussy out of your first day with me!"


    The grey-eyed blond simply stared at me. There was a small moment of silence, and I could feel the awkwardness build up in the air until he started laughing. I gawked at his sudden reaction, not understanding why he was laughing. I felt my cheeks heat up again.


    "W-What''s so funny?"


    His laugh slowly died down, and he covered his mouth with his hand. "I just think you''re interesting..."


    I let out an inaudible gasp, not believing the shit that just came out of his pretty mouth. I turned my head away, grabbed my belongings, got up from my seat, and stormed my way out of the classroom. I could hear him call out to me, but I ignored him.


    Interesting, my ass! He''s probably just flirting with me!


    I walked as quickly as I could out of the academy. For a second, a wave of shame rushed over me. I realized that I got out of the Japanese room, knowing full well that I just abandoned the guy that I agreed to mentor. The thought of my Sensei losing trust in me all because I got worked up over that blond idiot was horrifying to me.


    I stopped in my tracks, my eyes staring blankly at the concrete floor.


    Why are you acting like this? Especially to someone you just met!


    I let out a frustrated sigh, taking off my glasses and throwing my head back to look up at the sky. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching me from behind, and I put my glasses back on. There was no way in hell I''d let anyone see me without my nerd specs. I whirled around to see Cyrus advancing towards me in a light jog. I simply watched him make his way to me and stopped a few feet in front of me. He bent over, breathing heavily.


    "Bellona... I-I wanted to apologize for laughing at you..." He was saying this between breaths, and I looked at him plainly. "I didn''t mean... to hurt... your feelings..." He took one last deep breath and stood up straight. It was my first time seeing him stand in front of me, and it took time for me to realize how ridiculously tall he was, or maybe it seemed that way because I was ridiculously short. If I wasn''t annoyed right now, I''d find his height and figure utterly imposing.


    "Why are you breathing so hard? I thought you were physically fit," I pointed out flatly.


    "I am. I''m just... A bit rusty."


    I felt multiple eyes burning into my skin. There were a couple students outside with us, and they were watching our little altercation. I rolled my eyes and turned around, no longer concerning myself with him.


    "Bellona, wait!"


    I stopped but didn''t look back.


    "Are you still going to mentor me?" He asked, his voice filled with an almost forlorn concern. Before I could respond, a loud feminine voice assaulted my ears. Something prompted me to look back, and as I expected, it was a girl, one that I was vaguely familiar with.


    "Hi, Drake~! Are you free tomorrow weekend?" Her arms were snaked possessively around his arm, and he looked a bit startled by her abrupt appearance.


    He peered down at her with pseudo kind eyes. "Actually, I had something in mind with¡ª"


    "Aw... But everyone wants to see you at the party tomorrow!" She pouted her rose-red lips at him. Cyrus glanced at me, clearly not knowing what to say in response. The girl''s bratty gaze shifted in my direction and then back at him. "Oh, you had plans with her?" Her tone was almost accusatory, but it seemed like I was the only one who caught the inflection in her voice.


    He opened his mouth, but the girl opened her loud mouth first. "That''s okay! She can come with us then!"


    That. I did not expect whatsoever.


    "I... Uh..." I honestly didn''t know what to say.


    "I guess I''ll go to the party tomorrow," Cyrus said, rubbing the back of his neck. The girl threw her arms around him, squealing.


    "Oh my gosh, yes!" She pulled out of the hug and batted her false lashes at him. "I can''t wait to see you tomorrow!"


    "Yeah..." He gave her an easy smile. I couldn''t tell if he was uncomfortable, but I sure as hell was. I fiddled with my guitar case strap. I spun on my heel to leave those two be. Clearly, that girl, despite saying that I could come to the party, absolutely did not want me to be there. Parties were never my thing in the first place, so this wasn''t really a problem.


    "Anyway, Drake... I better get going! See you tomorrow!"


    "See ya, Song."


    Their voices, bit by bit, began to deteriorate from my hearing, and just when I thought that it all vanished, that damned British boy decided to speak up.


    "Bellona, before you leave..." I turned to face him, and I lowered my eyes to see his outstretched hand, holding out a slip of paper.


    "If you ever need to get in contact with me, my number''s there." He smiled at me, but there was something about that smile of his that seemed off.


    I took the piece of paper but did not look at it. "Thanks, but I won''t be needing it."


    Cyrus gave me a troubled look, but that quickly vanished when I said, "But I''ll keep it anyway so you won''t have to make that face at me ever again."


    The face of that girl named Song appeared in my thoughts. She was that girl in my English class that sat on the other side of the room from me who always talked and never stopped. She didn''t have a filter whatsoever. She flirted with all the good-looking guys, and they never seemed to mind. Song looked like a doll. She had pale skin, monolid eyes, a prominent jawline, high cheekbones, and cherry lips. She had the ideal idol face that many Asian women strive for.


    I didn''t know her full name but assuming by her sense of style and makeup, she was Korean. From the way she interacted with Cyrus, I guessed that she was his girlfriend or probably a "beneficial friend."


    I could only wonder why he had given me his number. From what I knew, people who asked or gave their numbers away meant that they were interested in you in some romantic way.


    Romantic? I thought. There''s no way in hell. He''s out of my league. I doubt I''d even be remotely good for him. Besides, Song is a way better pick for him. She''s so pretty, and he''s handsome. They''re a good match!


    "Thanks, Bellona..." I heard him say, my metal walls melting away.


    I rolled my eyes and turned away, "You say my name too much."


    "The more I say it, the less I''ll forget about it."


    He wasn''t wrong, but part of me wished that he would forget; forget about me; forget that I ever existed and yet...


    It felt so nice having someone want to remember me, but for it to be someone like Cyrus, it was unbelievable. That grey-eyed giant seemed like he had better things to do than find a mentor or even hand over his phone number to someone as insignificant as me. I glanced back at Cyrus'' retreating figure one last time, and the same voice that would wake me up every night echoed in my head.


    You''ll never be good enough...


    <hr>


    <u>Translations</u>


    Demo... Watashi ni amari kitai shinaide kudasai  - But... don''t expect too much from me


    Anata ni shinji te imasu  - I believe in you


    Mondai ga arimasu ka  - Is there are problem


    Mondai nai  - No problem/There''s no problem

 Chapter III

    "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."


    - William Shakespeare


    <hr>


    Sprawled on my bed, I stared at the ceiling, my hands gripping my phone tightly against my chest. I was having a battle with myself, debating whether I should attend the party happening in a few hours. I was reprimanding myself for even considering joining the party when my introverted self despised the very idea of any form of social gathering, but the extrovert in me, a side inside me that I never knew existed, was telling me to attend and make friends.


    Make friends? Who would wanna be friends with me? I thought.


    Cyrus apparently. A voice deep within the bowels of my thoughts responded mockingly.


    I felt my phone vibrate in my hands. I heaved myself up into a sitting position and turned on my phone, squinting at the notification pop up on the screen.


    1 new message from Cyrus


    I tapped on the message, reading it.


    Cyrus: Did you just ignore my last message? :(


    I shook my head and put my thumbs to work.


    Bellona: I didn''t feel like responding


    Typing...


    Cyrus: Well, uhhh are you going to the party soon?


    I sighed, not understanding his persistence.


    Bellona: Who exactly is attending the party? Besides Song


    Cyrus: A lot of 4th years and a few uni students are attending


    My thumbs hovered over the virtual keyboard, contemplating my response.


    Bellona: I don''t think I want to go...


    He was fast to reply, but it wasn''t surprising considering this guy''s unhealthy "obsession" with me.


    Cyrus: Whaaaatt?! How come? You''ll meet some new people!


    I frowned intensely at the screen.


    Bellona: It''s not for someone like me


    His status showed he was texting but then stopped. It seemed like he was thinking about what to type.


    Cyrus: I''m not going to force you to come, but I''d feel better if you did


    Bellona: Have fun at the party and don''t do anything illegal


    Cyrus: I''ll keep that in mind luv x


    I rolled my eyes.


    Luv? You gotta be kidding me.


    I shut off my phone and stared at my face reflected on its black screen. I closed my eyes and gripped the sides of my phone in discontent. A part of me badly wanted to turn back time just to tell him that I wanted to go, but I didn''t have it in me to say it.


    I honestly didn''t know what I wanted.


    All my life, I shut myself away from the world, believing that I never needed anyone but myself. The only people I let into my life were my family, and that''s all I ever needed.


    I was about to lie down on the bed, but I felt my phone vibrate.


    I turned it on and read the message on the screen.


    1 new message from Sara


    I was astounded by this, knowing Sara would never have the guts to text anyone of all people I knew. She wasn''t only in my Japanese class. We exchanged phone numbers the other day in government class for group study. I was relieved to know that she was my partner and it wasn''t anyone else. When I was around her, she gave me this sense of release, like I didn''t have to put on some act to be in her presence.


    Sara: Hi Bellona! I know this is really sudden, and all, but are you going to the party tonight?


    My mouth gaped open at her text. I had a feeling she intended on going to the party but needed some partner in crime to come with her.


    I scoffed and started texting.


    Bellona: To be honest, I don''t really know if I want to go. It''s usually all the outgoing and bold kids that go to the parties :/


    Sara: Yeah... I totally get you. I just thought it''d be a nice change of pace for once. Ngl staying in the house every day really messes with my sanity. I don''t have any siblings, and my parents are almost always never home


    Bellona: Are you implying that you want me to come with you to the party?


    Sara: Yeah... I''m sorry if that''s too much to ask for! I''ll pay you back somehow!


    Bellona: You don''t need to pay me back. I''ll come with you if it makes you happy


    Sara: Thank you so much! We still have 2 hours before the party starts, so I''ll pick you up and drive you to my house! We''ll prepare there so send me your address c:


    It took me a while to process what was going on.


    Was I really going to do this? And why the hell was she so excited?


    You already know why. The same voice deep in my head echoed.


    The voice was right. I did know why.


    Despite having a sibling, something Sara didn''t have, I understood what it meant to be alone all the time. As much as I preferred loneliness, I admit that it sometimes gets boring. I would always play video games or watch anime with my brother whenever I was bored, but now that he was in college, he didn''t have the same time as he did in high school. Even so, he always did his best to spend time with me, and I loved him for that.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    I sent Sara my address and shut my phone off.


    I went up to my closet, grabbed some black jeggings, a grey sweater, and a bra from the hangers. I lazily put the clothes on and slunk back on my bed again. I plugged my phone into the charger and waited for Sara to pick me up.


    A couple minutes past and I heard the doorbell ring. I shot out of my room, quickly grabbing my wallet and phone, and rushed downstairs.


    As soon as I arrived downstairs, my brother was already opening the door. Sometimes I''d forget he was ever in the house since he was so quiet and barely made any noise. The door opened, and there stood Sara. Her face looked a little nervous, but I assumed it was because of my brother.


    Ephraim didn''t exactly have a friendly looking face, but he definitely wasn''t mean. If anything, he was friendlier than I ever was.


    "Um, h-hello." Sara greeted timidly. I walked forward and tapped on my brother''s shoulder. He looked at me, and I said, "She''s with me. I''m going to her house for tonight."


    He scrutinized me for a moment and questioned me steadily, "Do mom and dad know about this?"


    "No..." I dragged. "Can you tell them? I won''t be gone for too long."


    Ephraim eyed me strangely and bobbed his head, "Fine. Just don''t do anything stupid."


    I smiled at him, genuinely grateful for his cooperation. "Let''s get going, Sara."


    She nodded, and we walked off together. I heard the front door shut behind me as I entered the passenger seat. I sat myself down and put on my seatbelt. Sara turned to look at me in her seat and tilted her head at me.


    "Was that your brother?"


    "Yeah, my older brother."


    She started the engine, and the vehicle went into motion. "He''s kind of cute..."


    I immediately covered my mouth to stop my ugly laugh, "Oh wow. I didn''t expect that coming from you."


    "Do you think he''s ugly or something?"


    I shook my head. "My brother''s always been the pretty boy when we grew up back in the Philippines. Everyone thought he wasn''t Filipino because of his exotic looks. Meanwhile, I got the shit end of the stick."


    Sara giggled. "You''re both very beautiful siblings. No need to undervalue yourself." I felt my face flush, and I folded my arms across my chest. I didn''t say anything in response to her compliment. It''s not like I even knew what to say in the first place.


    It was a ten-minute ride to her house, and I was glad. Both of us didn''t even talk the entire way. All we did was vibe to the music on Sara''s playlist.


    We both got out of the car, and Sara eagerly approached her front door and threw it open. "Come on, let''s go!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs to her room.


    The very sight of her room was incredible. I didn''t get to see the house''s downstairs interior since I was dragged upstairs forcefully by my blonde partner. The outside of the house looked really simple, and in contrast with the inside of Sara''s room, it occurred to me that she was from a wealthy family. A home like this was definitely higher priced than mine.


    "Wow..." I drawled in amazement. "Your room is so big and fancy."


    I looked around the room to see Sara digging through her closet for something.


    "Um, what are you doing?" I asked, attempting to peek over her shoulder. She suddenly whirled around, and my face was slapped by a flurry of colors.


    "Here!" She placed whatever she hit me in the face with on her queen-sized bed. "Try these on!"


    I turned around and realized that she had taken out dresses from her closet. I examined the array of dresses on her bed. To someone who had a drab sense of fashion, like me, all the dresses looked nice.


    "Uh... They all look stunning. I don''t really know which one to try on."


    Sara placed a hand on her hip and rubbed her chin, "What''s your favorite color?"


    "I don''t have one, but I guess I really like dark colors."


    Without delay, she picked up a black dress from the bed. Upon closer inspection, the dress looked very refined, something a model would wear. I hesitated on touching it, afraid that I would taint the sheer beauty of its fabric. Finally, I gave in and decided to try it on.


    "Can you... turn around so I can change?" I inquired shyly.


    Sara blinked at me and said, "We''re both girls. It''s fine to change in front of me, you know."


    "I know, but¡ª"


    "You don''t need to worry about how your body looks in front of someone who won''t criticize you."


    I was about to open my mouth to protest, but I decided against it. She was right, after all. Sara wasn''t the kind of person to crudely judge people for their appearance.


    Cautiously, I stripped myself of my clothes, leaving myself only in my bra and underwear.


    I took a good look at the black dress again, letting my fingers roam over the delicate material. From what I felt, the dress was mostly composed of black velvet, excluding the arms, which were see-through material with a flower-like ruffle that blossomed at the wrist area.


    The arm parts of the dress did not fully cover the shoulders, which meant my bra straps would show if I were to wear it. Carefully, I removed both the straps of my bra. Thankfully, my mom would always buy me bras with detachable straps just in case the straps were to fail and the bra itself would still remain in place. It was a womanly invention that I appreciated very much so.


    "You wear bikini panties?" Sara blurted out of nowhere.


    Out of instinct, I shielded myself with the yet-to-be-worn dress to cover my underwear. "Y-Yeah... Does it look bad?"


    Sara chuckled and shook her head. "Nothing wrong with it. I actually think it fits your body type really well! To think you were hiding those curves under all those thick clothes!"


    I felt my face heat up like a volcano. I was probably as red as a tomato right now. Not responding, I hurriedly put on the black velvet dress. To my surprise, it fit perfectly. Sara and I weren''t exactly the same height, but maybe this was one of her older pieces of clothing.


    I turned to look at the mirror.


    "It suits you so much, Bellona!"


    The dress hugged every curve of my body and showed off enough skin to leave little to the imagination. It had been a long time since I''d worn something as fancy as this. Dresses, skirts, and heels weren''t exactly my cup of tea, regardless of the color, but this was a change I was sorta willing to slide with.


    "Here! I''ve got some matching heels with that cute dress!"


    Sara handed over a pair of black heels with long ebony ribbons attached to them. I put them on, spun the ribbons around my leg, and tied it back.


    "You''re definitely wearing that to the party!" My blonde partner in crime gushed. As much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to wear it to the party.


    "Now, let me do your makeup," she said as she gestured for me to sit on the chair in front of the vanity. I sat myself down and waited for Sara to paint my face with whatever she had on her vanity table. She shuffled with a few things on the table and held something up to my face. I didn''t know much about makeup except lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara. I didn''t know what she was holding up to my face, but whatever it was, she was gonna use it on me.


    "Close your eyes."


    The entire process felt foreign to me. She was doing all sorts of things to my face that I would never do to myself even if I had the skill to do it. It took a couple of minutes for Sara to finish dolling me up, but I felt her mess with my hair a bit. I didn''t really mind, though.


    I heard her step away from me, my eyes still shut. "You can open your eyes now." I blinked my eyes and looked at the vanity mirror.


    The girl in the reflection was not the same as the one I saw at home. Her hair was fixed into a lovely crown braid. The rough skin on her face was no longer noticeable, her eyes were almost cat-like in appearance, and her lashes were longer than usual, almost resembling that of a secretary bird. Her eyelids were shaded in with a sparkling black. Her cheeks were pink in color, and her lips were painted a lovely rose matte.


    She was beautiful.


    But even I knew that it was only a mask.


    "You look like a goddess!" My blonde partner wiped away a non-existent tear from her cheek. "I did such a good job..."


    "You''re really good at all this fashion and makeup stuff..." I muttered, my eyes still glued to the mirror.


    "My aunt is a professional makeup artist, and I really wanted to be like her when I was younger. I still do now." Sara smiled at the makeup brushes in her hand. "I know I''m shy and all, but I want to work on becoming more open with myself. It''ll benefit me in the future, and I can be happy."


    She reminds me of my younger self, back when I used to believe that I deserved happiness, back when I was a little girl free from the burden of pain and suffering.


    I stood up from the chair and patted my dress. "You should really get changed too, Sara. The party''s gonna start in 30 minutes."


    "Oh my gosh, you''re right!" She clumsily ran over to her closet and picked out her dress.


    I shook my head, a small smile creeping up my face, but my smile quickly faded when I glanced at the mirror one last time.


    The voice inside my head echoed. The mask you wear will slowly, but surely, become your real face...


    And I knew better than to keep it on for too long.