《Her Fragmented Mind》 From Black to Black Kristin O''Reilly awoke with a start. The terrible dream she had suffered through still vivid in her mind, however quickly receding. She couldn''t be sure but something about it had felt real, like it was at least in part a memory. But that couldn''t be the case, she was sure nothing like that had ever happened in her life. Sweat clung to her forehead causing her auburn hair to hang lifelessly around her thin face. Her pajama singlet was close to soaked through and the legs of the pants she wore stuck to her own. She glanced over at her phone, noticing that it was already a quarter to six in the morning and decided that she would not be able to get any more sleep. Leaning over to her side table she collected her phone and headphones, pushing the earbuds into her ears and a couple of taps had her favourite One Ok Rock song playing in her head. This was her wake up routine most mornings. Swinging her legs off the bed she crossed the floor to the door, opening it slightly. Pausing the music, she heard the sound of cutlery jangling in the drawer coming from the kitchen. Sam must be up already. Sam, or rather Uncle Sam, was the younger brother of Kristin''s mother, and for the last four years, the guardian of Kristin. Her uncle had taken her in after her mother had passed and had been trying to put the pieces of her life back together. For her part Kristin didn''t remember her mother''s passing, nor much of her childhood. She often wondered if this was a blessing or a curse. If her nightmares were memories however it must be a blessing to not remember. Kristin decided that socialising with her uncle would be preferable to sitting in her room until she needed to leave for class and so left the quiet of her room for the noise of the kitchen. She descended the stars, her bare feet slapping slightly on the hardwood surface. As she was just about to step off the last stair and round the corner into the kitchen a small coffee cream and seal brown shape darted from the doorway directly across her path. After the near collision had stumbled Kristin, the small creature tore off to terrorise some other part of the house.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. "You could have warned me she was waiting there," Kristin said as she regained her balance and entered the kitchen. "And let you miss her saying good morning to you?" replied her uncle from the breakfast bar, "she would be so disappointed." Sam wasn''t terribly old for an uncle, having been just eighteen when his older sister gave birth to Kristin. His shaggy dark hair seemed barely controlled, giving him a permanent just-woke-up look. His dark eyes held a warmth and intelligence that always took Kristin aback. Kristin shook her head, her uncle''s sense of humour really left something to be desired. She crossed the floor to the sink, and took a glass from the cupboard to her right and poured herself a glass of water. "You are up early for a Tuesday," her uncle noted more seriously, "was it another nightmare?" Kristin simply nodded as a reply. "Do you remember anything about it?" her uncle asked, concern touching his voice. "Only that it felt so real, like it had been something I have experienced before," Kristin replied before taking a long drink of water from her glass. "I''m sorry your morning has started so poorly," Sam offered, "but please try to talk about this with Sofia this afternoon." Sofia Kopf was the psychologist Kristin had been seeing for the past few months. There had been a few before her, and Kristin felt there would be many more to come, if her uncle had his way. "I''ll try, but there''s not much to say really," Kristin said, "like I said I don''t really remember what happened." A loud section of the current song came up as her uncle tried to say something, prompting him to point to his own ears. Kristin removed one of the buds from her ear, "what was that?" "First, I really wish you wouldn''t wear those all the time. And second, you should think about getting ready. Have you finished that piece for your class today?" Sam asked. "They help," was all she said in reply. Kristin moved on autopilot to get her self ready for the day, making sure to take her antidepressants and hormones with the last of the water from her glass. As she was turning to put the glass in the sink something outside the window facing the neighbour''s house shone in her eye causing her to misjudge where the sink was. She felt the glass leave her hand, and heard the ear piercing sound of glass shattering against the floor. Sam quickly got up from his seat, and retrieved the broom and began sweeping up the glass, asking Kristin if she was alright. Instead of a response, Kristin mumbled something quietly. Her eyes were cast towards her hand with an unfocused stare. The last thing Kristin remembered was a voice that pushed past her. The voice was comforting, reassuring. It felt safe to let the voice take charge. "I''ll make sure we are safe," was all it said. And then Kristin floated off into a dark void. Amnesia and Connection Feeling like she was swimming through a sea of black, Kristin slowly came back to herself. She shook her head, blinking her eyes to get use to the light. Looking around she found herself sitting in the waiting room for her psychologist. The clock on the wall confirmed that it was 5 minutes till her appointment. At least she hoped it was the same day. While jarring, this was not the first time she came to realise she was somewhere without remembering how she had gotten there. She had always put it down to being spacey as her mum had put it. She had always seemed to have a bad memory, especially for the things that happen around her. Moving her legs she found her backpack by her feet. She lift it up and opened it. All her things for class that day were in there, another thing she didn''t remember doing. Kristin pulled her phone from her pocket. Thumbing the device awake she found that there were a couple of messages from her uncle that had gone unanswered. She quickly unlocked her phone and typed out a quick message to reassure him. Sam: Kristin are you ok? Sam: You just left, I thought I was giving you a lift to uni? Sam: Kristin, please let me know you are ok, I haven''t head from you. Me: Sorry, must have gotten sucked into class Me: I didn''t check my phone till now Me: I''m ok, I just felt like getting out of the house Me: I''m sorry I worried you After hitting send, she heard her name called in a mild German accent. She looked up and standing there in the hallway leading back to the rooms was her psychologist, Sofia. Sofia was not a tall lady, with a slender build. She had stern features that were offset by kind, warm brown eyes. Her brown hair flowed down to around her shoulders. She dressed in a bohemian style that lead Kristin to think she wouldn''t look out of place in the head shop. Kristin picked up her bag and followed Sofia back into her consulting room. Choosing her usual seat, on the far end of the couch from Sofia''s chair, she sat down. Kristin looked around the room, scanning the items on the small bookshelf and across the titles of the books. Everything seemed to be the same as the last time she had been in, only two weeks ago. This gave her some comfort, knowing that some things in her surrounding were constant made her confidant that more time had not passed. "Welcome Kristin, I hope you''ve had a good day so far," opened Sofia after Kristin had completed her ritual observation of the room. "I guess so yeah," replied Kristin noncommittally. "You don''t seem so sure about that," Sofia said, jotting something down in her notepad. Kristin chewed the inside of her lip considering her next response. She remembered the last time she had opened up about some of her thoughts and feelings regarding her issues. She had told the psychiatrist her uncle had taken her to that sometimes she felt very different, that sometimes she had lots of energy and drive and at other times she felt really depressed. She had tried to describe how the different times were both her but not her. The psychiatrist had brushed this aside saying that it was clear she was being dramatic and labeled her as having Bi-polar Disorder. He prescribed her some medication, which Kristin grudgingly took. She didn''t feel his description of the disorder matched up to her experience. The medications made her feel terrible and did nothing to change her experience. Sofia on the other hand had not shown any of the same issues that psychiatrist had shown. She had been nothing but patient with Kristin, and as yet had not given her any labels. Perhaps this time things might be different. At this thought she heard another train of thought in her head give her some reassurance. ''You''ve got this dear, just be clear,'' it said.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. "Umm to be honest I have no idea," Kristin admitted out loud, "I don''t actually remember anything after this morning till I was just sitting in the waiting room before." Sofia quickly made some more notes, "I see, that must be quite jarring. What is the last thing you remember?" Kristin described her morning, up to the breaking of the glass. She described how after that it felt like she was falling backwards into a sea of blackness. She left out the voice she had heard for now. She felt that revealing she blacked out but somehow still went about her day was pushing the line of crazy she didn''t want to add in hearing voices in her head to the mix. For her part Sofia predominantly listened. She asked a few questions like if it had happened before and such, but was more intent on letting Kristin express herself. When she had finally finished, Sofia put her pen down and looked intently at Kristin. "I''m going to be honest with you Kristin," she started, "I believe something more may be going on here. I am not one hundred percent certain and this will take time to explore. In the mean time I would like you to keep a journal. Keep a track of anything and everything you experience. Our clues may just be hidden in there." She looked at the watch on her wrist, noting the time. "However we are going to have to leave things there for today. Thank you for sharing your experiences today, and we will explore them more next time," Sofia said, closing her notebook. "Uh sure, thanks," was all Kristin said in reply, standing and heading for the door. She opened the door and then paused. Without turning around she said, "thank you for not calling me dramatic." At that she opened the door fully and left quickly. ------------------------------------- Kristin arrived home and threw her bag on the couch. Falling back into the soft seating she grabbed the remote for the tv and switched it on. It didn''t matter too much to her at that point what was on, just that something filled the void. As she lay her head back she became aware of a strange sensation in her head. It felt like her head was full, like there was herself there but also someone else. It wasn''t the first time her head felt fuzzy like this, however it was the first time there had clearly been some other presence. ''You did great earlier,'' the same voice as before said. ''Who are you? What are you? Am I possessed?'' asked Kristin. ''Whoa slow down there,'' the voice said. Kristin got the distinct sense that it chuckled. ''I''m Jenny, I''ve been with you for a while. You aren''t possessed, at least I don''t think so. I just am here and I just want the best for us. And before you think of it, you aren''t imagining this.'' Kristin wasn''t sure what to make of this. On the one hand there was no denying the voice that thought in her head. It came through loud and clear, and completely without her input. On the other hand this just sounded totally insane, having another person in her head? That was the kind of thing you heard about in movies. Also one of them was usually an axe wielding murderer or something. ''Are you going to take over and go around killing people?'' she thought. ''No spud, there is no one like that,'' the voice that called itself Jenny replied. Had she heard that right? No one had called her that since, well since her mother had passed four years ago. And then it dawned on her. Her mother''s name was Jennifer, although most people tended to call her Jen. However the happiest Kristin could remember her mum she had just been called Jenny. This couldn''t be real. To have a voice in her head that said things like her dead mother, using her name was just too weird. And so Kristin pulled out her headphones and jammed them in her ears. She always found the music helped to block out some of the extra noise that was always floating around in her head. Maybe it could also block out this imposter. Some time later, Kristin felt a hand rest upon her head. The sudden touch almost made Kristin jump out of her skin. Instead she jumped out of the seat and stumbled against the coffee table. A hand wrapped around her wrist, preventing her from falling across the table. For the second time in a day she felt herself falling back into herself. However unlike the sea of blackness she had been thrown into last time, this time she the sea was illuminated. She saw a screen much like one of the old drive-in movie theatres. On that screen however, instead of a movie, there was her living room. It was like she was watching herself in the third person. In front of the screen she saw a figure sitting down wearing some kind of helmet, like one for a motorcycle, except the lower front half was missing revealing the mouth of the person underneath. Watching the screen she saw her free hand reach across and grab the hand that held her wrist, twisting it free. The view spun around and she saw her uncle step back as she rose her hand clenched into a fist. "Whoa, I''m sorry Kris, I forgot," her uncle said defensively. "I''ve told you not to call me that," Kristin heard herself say with a voice that was both hers and not at the same time. As the voice from the screen spoke the words she saw the mouth of the helmet wearer move in tandem. She guessed that this person must somehow be in control of her body. Piloting her around like some kind of human mecha. This was too weird for her, and as she saw herself pick up her bag and leave the house, she felt herself fall further back and the black sea took over once again. Inside and Out Kristin eventually found herself washed up on a beach. She was sure this wasn''t real as the beach had purple sand. Leading down to the beach was a set of stairs coming from what appeared to be some kind of boardwalk. Sitting on those stairs was an older lady. She had brilliant blue eyes and the locks of her auburn hair were unrestrained. Her face was rounded and soft with a few lines of age. The woman''s appearance took Kristin by surprise. Except for a few minor details she had the appearance of her mother from before she had fallen ill. "It is so nice to see you here, spud," said the older woman, who Kristin suspected to be the voice named Jenny. "Where am I? What is this place?" Kristin asked, picking herself up off the sand. "So many questions. Welcome to the Inside. This place is where we all exist, when we aren''t out there," Jenny replied, as if what she was saying was perfectly normal. "So am I dreaming? Also I saw something before finding myself here. There was a huge movie screen and someone sitting in front of it, wearing this really weird helmet," Kristin asked, hoping Jenny would provide some insight into what the hell she was witnessing. "To your first question, yes and no. This place is within the mind of the body we all inhabit. However to most of us it can be very real," Jenny began, "and to your second question, I believe Alex took control. The helmet allows us control of the body, you included. It has been you most of the time sat there with the helmet on and so you wouldn''t know about it." To Kristin this sounded both perfectly logical and absolutely insane. Somebody inside her head was wearing a helmet that allowed them to control her body, and she herself had worn that same helmet, according to Jenny. Kristin shook her head, how was any of this real? "Is there anyway I can see what is going on outside? Can I get back to the screen?" asked Kristin, hoping that she wouldn''t miss out on everything. "We can, I''ll show you how to get there," replied Jenny, who rose from the steps and turned to head up them. Jenny led Kristin up the stairs which Kristin found lead to a small boardwalk that went off into the distance in both directions. On the other side sat the largest house Kristin had ever seen. It would definitely fit the description of a mansion. White walls and ornate fixtures adorned the outside, while leading up to the building was a slightly wild garden. The contrast of the two was striking, leading Kristin to wonder who took care of this or if anyone did at all. Kristin followed Jenny though an arch in the outer hedge of the garden and through the mass of bushes and plants. She was glad she was following Jenny as she didn''t think she would be able to find her way on her own. None of the plants she passed seemed familiar, or if their shape was familiar their colour was completely different. Jenny took them through a wide double door into the mansion. Once reaching the inside of the gigantic building Kristin found the inside was just as mismatched as the outside had been. A marble floor met a pilled, brown wallpaper up the walls. Kristin could see into one of the rooms to the side and it appeared as if there had been an explosion when gamer met little princess. Jenny however didn''t stop but continued through the massive hallway towards what appeared to be the front door. Back outside, the pair passed into what indeed looked like an old drive-in. However most of the poles, that would have carried the speaker for the cars to hook up, sat empty. Only a handful towards the front of the rows appeared to house anything. On closer inspection Kristin noticed that these were the same helmets that the figure sitting on an old couch wore. She assumed that this must be the Alex that Jenny had mentioned.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. On the screen Kristin noticed there was a girl she didn''t know, talking to what she assumed was her body. Kristin stood there staring at the face on the screen. She couldn''t make out any of what was being said, but felt captivated by the girl. She wasn''t sure if it was the girl''s amber eyes or the single stripe of green in her otherwise jet black hair, but something about this girl just screamed ''cool'' to Kristin. As if she had a confidence that Kristin could only aspire to. Kristin then saw that Alex turned in their direction as her feet crunched on the gravel. She hadn''t even noticed that she had taken a couple of steps forward, but found herself wanting to put the helmet on herself and be out there. Alex took the helmet off slowly, the screen going blurry as there was no one controlling it. Without the helmet on Kristin could get a proper look at the person who had been in control of her body. Alex was tall and strongly built, with just enough muscle to lend strength to their presence. Alex had dark brown hair that was shaved on the sides and back with the top long enough to tie back into a ponytail. Kristin moved over the the couch and noticed Alex was wearing a red plaid shirt with a black T-shirt underneath, some simple jeans and a pair of boots that definitely looked like they were made for more than walking. Kristin was slightly taken back by Alex''s face however. Where she had expected male features to be, to go along with the general appearance, Alex''s face was thin and angular. She also noticed their eyes, a brilliant Amber colour that all but glowed. "Well, I guess you''re up," Alex said in a voice Kristin recognised from this morning, "I made sure we are safe." Without much warning Alex gently pushed Kristin back into the couch and pulled the helmet over her head. She heard Alex say something in that calming voice just before the world shifted to the outside. "She seems really cool." ------------------------------------- Kristin felt the world come back into focus. She found herself sitting at one of those bench tables in a park she wasn''t familiar with. There was a small creek going through the park where a couple of kids played, watched by their parents. She looked across the table and there was the same girl she saw on the screen. The girl wore a black band T-Shirt and black jeans topping it off with a pair of chucks. On closer inspection Kristin could see she had her nose pierced and also a few rings and studs in her ears. This was a large contrast to Kristin''s usual style which consisted of skirts or jeans and a cute T-shirt. Today it had been jeans and one of her most plain T-shirts. She guessed that Alex was not so into her style. "Helloooo anyone in there?" the girl asked, waving a hand in front of Kristin''s face. Blinking, Kristin replied, "Oh yeah, sorry. I guess I just drifted off for a moment. What were we talking about?" "You were telling me about how your family doesn''t let you be yourself," she replied, sitting back down on her side of the table. "Oh um, well why don''t we change topic, I don''t want to just talk about myself," Kristin said quickly, not sure how to continue a conversation she didn''t remember having. "Come on now Alex, person of mystery, you can''t start such a juicy topic and not have me hooked," the girl said. Kristin responded reflexively, "My name''s not Alex." The girl eyed Kristin inquisitively. Kristin wasn''t sure if the girl thought she was crazy or not, but she decided she wasn''t going to stick around to find out. She seemed cool but who knows how people will react when it comes to mental health. "Look, um..." Kristin started, not sure of the girl''s name. "Darby," replied the girl, still staring at Kristin with a look that was one part about to burst out laughing and one part about to call the mental ward. "Darby. It was very nice to meet you, but I''ve really got to get going," Kristin said, lifting herself up off the seat. She grabbed her bag and turned quickly to leave. Kristin heard the girl named Darby call out to her. "Sure, well I''m around if you want to hang out again" With that Kristin left the park quickly, unsure yet which direction to go but just wanting to leave. She had wanted to be out here, however the anxiety of trying to carry on a conversation she didn''t remember having had gotten to be too much for her. Especially because the other person in the conversation seemed so much cooler than her. As she left the park she felt her pockets to make sure her phone was there. She took it out and pulled up her maps, finding that she had walked a good three kilometres away from her home. Obviously the time on the inside ran differently to the outside. Kristin hefted her bag and set off home unsure about the reaction she would receive from her uncle when she got back. Life Under the Stars Kristin arrived home after dark, the cooling late autumn air growing crisp as the last rays of sunshine disappeared over the rooftops. The light at the entryway to the house had been turned on. This never happened unless they were expecting a delivery at night. Kristin guessed her uncle may have felt she needed the light to draw her home. Geez, she wasn''t a little kid anymore. She took out her keys and started to unlock the door. However, her uncle must have been waiting close by as partway through the door jerked open and there he was. He had the most relieved look across his face when he saw that it was Kristin. "Thank the stars," he started, pulling Kristin inside and wrapping his arms around her, "you''ve had me worried for the past few hours." Few hours? Had it really been that long since she was sitting on the couch listening to music? "I''m sorry, I don''t know what came over me," Kristin said, squashed in one of the biggest hugs she had received in a long time. "Where did you go? Why didn''t you pick up your phone? Are you ok?" Sam asked in rapid succession. Kristin extricated herself from her uncle''s embrace and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She noted that the screen was black and didn''t respond to her attempts to wake it. "I guess my phone must have died when I was walking back. Besides I''m not a kid anymore. Do I really need you watching over me so closely?" Kristin could see the effect her words had on her uncle, the way his smile dropped and his shoulders drooped slightly. She felt a pang of guilt but pushed it aside. Her mind was awash with far too many thoughts for her to focus on her uncle''s emotions. "Kristin," Sam said through a sigh, "I know things aren''t easy but please know that I''m always here for you to talk to." Her uncle''s sincere tone broke through some of the fog in her head. She looked up at his dark eyes, so unlike his sister''s, she wondered how they were related. Those chocolate coloured orbs held so much emotion in them, she couldn''t help but feel remorse. "I''m sorry uncle Sam. I honestly don''t know what happened. One minute I was sitting on the couch and the next I''m a few kilometres away." She pulled her gaze away from her uncle, sure she would see something regrettable in his face. Kristin had all kinds of thoughts going through her head about what her uncle must be thinking. Was she more broken than he had thought when she came to live with him? Would he not want her living there? With the feeling brought on by these questions threatening to boil over Kristin pushed past her uncle and ran up the stairs. She slammed the door closed and threw her bag on the bed, flopping down on her stomach next to it. How could her life really have gotten this messed up? Sure she had become aware of her surroundings before with no memory of getting there. However, in the past, it had never been so glaringly obvious. Another thing, what was with that dream she had gone through about a house and garden, and a drive-in movie theatre. She was sure it couldn''t be more than a dream, however, something about that place, those people seemed familiar.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. Kristin decided to push all of her worries and concerns aside for now. She couldn''t do anything at the moment to change anything. What she did need to do was check on her school work, knowing that she had no memory of being in class. She rolled off her bed and pulled her laptop out of her bag, setting it up on her desk. Activating it she was met with her notes app open and a whole list of notes she didn''t remember taking. Down the bottom was a line that was out of place with the rest of the notes, clearly written for her. Don''t worry I took all the notes I could. I don''t understand all of your art terms but I hope you can make sense of this. Alex Kristin closed her laptop quickly, her heart racing. Why was all of this happening now? Was she finally going insane and reality was unravelling itself? Kristin took a few moments and then opened her laptop once again quickly closing the notes app. She decided she would vent her anxiety and frustration on some new character and pulled out her drawing tablet. She put her headphones in her ears pulling up her playlist and set to work. She was unsure how long she spent drawing, however when she realised her uncle was sitting on her bed, she realised it must have been quite some time. Looking at the time on her computer showed that it had indeed been four hours. In that time she had drawn not one but two characters. Looking at them she found that she had unwittingly drawn the two people she had met in her dream, Alex and Jenny. She put down her pen, took out her earbuds, and looked over at her uncle. "How long have you been there?" she asked. "Not long," Sam replied, "I didn''t want to disturb you this time. Who are those characters?" Sam was always interested in the characters that Kristin drew, she always seemed to have some kind of story for them. Kristin suspected that he was milking her for character ideas for the novels he wrote. "They are a couple of people I met in this really weird dream I had," Kristin began, "I don''t really know much about them. Their names are Alex and Jenny," pointing them out in turn. "I see, Alex looks strong but also looks like he...?" her uncle said, pausing to confirm the pronouns of this androgynous-looking character. "I''m not sure, I think they use they" "Sorry, they look like they have a real caring side. And Jenny she..." Sam trailed off, his eyes resting on the image of Jenny, "...she looks like she has had the world and it rejected her." Her uncle turned away from her, trying hard to hold back the emotions he was obviously feeling. This had been the first time he had seen Kristin draw anyone even resembling her mother. Was this a turning point for her, he wondered. "They look really good Kristin, but why don''t you take a break for now and come downstairs. I kept your dinner in the oven, it should still be alright," Sam said getting up off the bed wiping a hand over his eyes. Kristin agreed and saved her work, following her uncle downstairs to the kitchen. Her uncle busied himself with serving up the dinner he had made the two of them, and then came and sat with Kristin while she ate. All during this Sam kept up a stead stream of chatter, going on about the latest developments in the novel he was writing and the twists that had worked their way into the story. For her part Kristin was content to sit and listen. Better her uncle''s torrent of ideas than the thoughts that were swirling back into her head. The evening ended with the two of them sharing a beer out on the back porch, staring up at the night sky. They rarely had alcohol in the house however on rare occasions Sam would bring a couple of bottles out for them. This was usually when he had things weighing on his mind and he felt a need to however slightly dull it. Kristin was likewise careful, as in the past she had quickly not remembered things and woken up with the worst hangovers. However tonight was calm and peaceful as they sat outside in the crisp night air. Eventually, his drink finished, Sam said his goodnights to Kristin and went back inside. Kristin sat for a time by herself, enjoying the warmth of the drink inside against the cool air outside, thinking about all that had occurred today. Life in Landscape The world slowly came back into existence as Kristin groggily woke up. She found herself sprawled across her bed, not having even changed from the night before. Through her head was a splitting headache and her mouth felt as dry as the Sahara desert. She knew she had a couple of drinks last night but didn''t think she would be feeling this bad. She got up and quickly crossed across the hall to have a shower. While washing herself she found some bruises on her hips. She touched them gingerly wondering when she got them. Assuming she must have bumped into a counter or something last night she put it out of her mind. Finishing up she dried and got dressed more in her usual style, a nice cute blue skirt with a frilled hem and a blue T-shirt with a Japanese anime character emblazoned across it. She felt more like herself than she had yesterday. At that thought the events of yesterday replayed in her mind. First the glass breaking, then her appointment, meeting that girl Darby and finally relaxing with her uncle. Those event she knew happened and were real. However the ones in between, the trip to that mansion in the dream and talking to Jenny while on the couch, seemed to her like they must have been made up by her mind. She had been told before that she had a very active imagination and so this must be it at work. Today was a pretty relaxed day as she didn''t have any classes. She did remember that in the notes that had appeared from the previous day there had been mention of a landscape project that needed to be completed. And so Kristin packed up her drawing equipment and headed downstairs. Once in the kitchen she noticed that her uncle had put on the coffee already and it appeared had already had breakfast. She looked over at the clock and realised it was actually quite late in the morning. Busying herself with getting breakfast, she spent the next half an hour making, and then savouring the perfect bowl of ramen. Once she finished and washed up her bowl she headed back to her uncle''s writing den. Currently the room had books strewn around, from dictionaries to obscure thesauruses. Sam wrote novel usually based on urban fantasy. This meant among the books on which words to use, there were also books on mythology and fairy tales. He even had a folder that contained print outs of creepypasta as one of his novels had involved a teen horror author summoning his creations. Kristin took out her earphones and knocked lightly on the door. She entered the room, making her way across picking up the books that had found their way onto the floor. "You really should take more care of these," she said, often having to remind her uncle. Her uncle looked up from his laptop. "But I can always count on you to help me," he said, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. At that moment Kristin saw one of the books she hadn''t yet gotten to begin to move, which made her take a quick step back. From under the book came first one dark paw and then another, finally the whole cream coloured cat, oblivious to the fact that it had been buried under a book. "And now you''re burying poor, innocent Freyja under your mess," she said, scooping the kitten up in her arms, "what do you have to say for yourself?" "In my defence she has slept in much weirder locations," Sam said, turning around and scratching the cat between the ears. "I can''t argue that," she said with a little chuckle "anyway I came in to say I''m going out, I have to do a landscape, so I''m going to find some inspiration."Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. Sam nodded. "I hope you find the most spectacular of vistas to draw." With a small kiss to the top of the cats head Kristin deposited her in her uncle''s lap, gave her uncle a quick hug, and left the room. She replaced her earbuds, collected her bag, and left through the front door. She began walking in a random direction, not exactly having any destination in mind. It was a nice day outside, not overly cold yet the sun was not quite biting either. The area she lived in was a reasonable nice suburb, with trees lining the streets that bloomed a multitude of colours in the spring. The streets themselves were narrow and winding, often taking an unsuspecting traveller in different directions. Today those streets seemed to conspire to lead Kristin to that same park as yesterday, with the creek running through the middle of it. Kristin went and sat down at the same bench as yesterday simply taking in her surroundings. The park was quite picturesque with trees providing plenty of shading while the rays of the sun poked through here and there. The small tiers of the creek gave off the sound of miniature waterfalls. And then there was the play equipment. Styled like a medieval castle it gave the park a feel like you had been sent back in time and really stoked the fires of the imagination. This would be a perfect setting for her landscape project, Kristin thought. And with that she took out her drawing implements and got to work sketching out the details of the park. With her music in her ears and work under her fingers time seemed to slip away from her. She also didn''t notice the other girl sit down next to her on the bench until she turned to get her water bottle from her bag. The sudden appearance of the other girl, the one from yesterday, Darby, surprised Kristin. "Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked. "I have a day off, so I came here. Nice work by the way Alex," Darby replied peering around the corner of the screen. There she was going again calling her Alex. Did this mean that the dream Kristin had experienced yesterday had really happened? But it was so bizarre how could that really be true. She must simply just be going crazy, or this girl is just trying to mess with her. "Why do you keep calling me Alex?" Kristin asked, hoping to catch the other girl out. "Why? Um, that''s what you told me your name was," Darby replied, now looking at Kristin quizzically. There also seemed to be a hint of understanding in her eyes. "I don''t know why I would do that, because it''s not. It''s Kristin," she said, trying to keep her cool. "Ok Kristin. So tell me, how did we first meet?" asked Darby, who turned to straddle the bench so she could look at Kristin straight on. Kristin thought and thought, however nothing came to her. It was like her mind was drawing a blank. Surely she must have some memory of meeting this girl and hadn''t just come to and already been talking to her. But try as she might no memories came to her. The first memory she had of Darby was seeing her on that big screen in the dream and it seemed by then they had already been talking. "You can''t can you," Darby finally said, giving an smile that was both warm and understanding, "that''s because I don''t think it was you." "What do you mean it wasn''t me? How can you meet me without it being me?" Kristin responded, feeling worried that the dream was true. "Well, I mean it was your body, just I don''t think it was you driving it. See, I had this friend a couple of years ago, really cool guy. I thought it was just him to start with. But then I found out there was like 15 people including him living inside his head. Sometimes they would change who was in control, and they were all different, but all were cool in their own way. I think it might be the same thing for you." Kristin just started at the girl like she had just grown a couple of extra heads. A couple of cute, quirky, extra heads. How could someone have two people living inside their head let alone fifteen. "How do you know he wasn''t just making it all up?" she asked, thinking this must have all been some big ruse by Darby''s friend, for what she wasn''t sure. "Well for one I met most of the others, and there were just things about them that couldn''t be faked," she said with all earnestness, "It also made a difference that his psychologist had also met them and gave it a label." Kristin could feel both her interest and anxiety rising. Could this story of this random guy provide some insight into what was happening to her? But also would this just confirm that she was indeed crazy, suffering from a mental disorder? Both of these emotions played across her face as she tried to come up with her next question, the only question one could ask after being told that. "What was it called?" Big Labels and Small Selves Kristin sat in her usual spot on the couch in Sofia Kopf''s office. She fidgeted with the hem of her T-shirt nervously, her eyes downcast trying not to look at her therapist. She had felt these nerves all week since that afternoon in the park, the term Darby had told her playing over and over in her mind. Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID for short. Kristin had talked to Darby about it for a while, and then when she got home had gone straight to the computer and looked it up on there. There had been so much contradictory information, and much of it she felt she couldn''t trust, and so she had waited, thoughts churning all week, till her appointment with Sofia. "What do you know of Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Sofia asked, snapping Kristin out of her thoughts. "Um, it means that there''s more than one person living in someone''s head?" Kristin answered after a moment. "It can certainly feel like that to someone with this condition. And do you know what causes it?" Sofia continued using her most calm tone of voice. "I read that it comes from lots of trauma when you''re a kid, but I don''t remember anything like that," answered Kristin before continuing quieter, "I don''t remember much of anything." Sofia made some notes on her page as she continued to watch the nervous girl, this had been the first time she had admitted to her lack of childhood memory. Could this show some sign that she was beginning to realise that much more had happened in her life than what she was aware of? The pair continued to discuss what Dissociative Identity Disorder meant and what kind of impacts it can have on a person. Kristin felt herself relaxing slightly as she came to understand what this condition entailed, only to have the anxiety come back as the next troubling thing was discussed. By the end of the appointment, she wasn''t sure if this truly was what was going on with her, however, she did leave with more information than what she went in with. As Kristin made her way home on the bus, she felt a presence sit next to her in her mind. She looked around to be sure there wasn''t some physical reason for this feeling, only to realise the bus was mostly empty with only a couple of other passengers spread out through the seats. This presence didn''t feel like the others she had experienced previously, it felt smaller as if she was in the presence of a child. ''The bus is fun,'' said the presence from within Kristin''s head. ''I guess it can be when there aren''t heaps of people squashing you in,'' Kristin responded finding it calming talking to this presence. Kristin rode the bus the rest of the way like this, the small presence getting excited when they passed a cute animal or a picturesque location. For her part, Kristin would reply to the presence, which she had not gotten a name from, the same as she would with any child. She remembered Sofia saying that some of the identities that come with Dissociative Identity Disorder can be stuck as a child often due to them having experienced traumatic things, and she wondered if that was the case for this small presence. The ride went on like this for some time until the bus stopped to pick up a new passenger. The passenger that got onto the bus was a tall, slightly overweight man, with shaggy dark hair that seemed to darken his face. He wore a long dark coloured coat and dark pants. Everything about this man, to Kristin, felt wrong, felt dark, and felt dangerous. She felt a feeling of panic rising from within her, the calming, childlike presence had fled and was replaced by something even smaller. This new presence felt like sheer terror, and as she felt herself slip back into the blackness all she could hear was someone screaming. ------------------------------------- Darby Hanson was sitting behind the counter at ShopMore, a variety retail store at the small shopping mall close by to the park she had met that curious girl at. The name badge pinned to her chest clearly noted her out to be an employee of the store, which was not readily apparent from the relaxed way she sat, feet propped up on the point of sale computer''s tower. The day had been going slowly, although that was not really unusual. While the store might be called ShopMore, it was more or less the same people each day. It had been some time since the last customer entered the store and so she pulled out her phone to relieve some of the boredom. Just as she was about to activate it the screen flashed with an incoming call. The name at the top of the screen was Kristin (Alex). They had exchanged phone numbers that afternoon last week when she had seen that curious girl again at the park. Darby had been wondering when she might get in contact, and so readily answered the phone. "Took your sweet time calling me," she said trying to pull off a sarcastic annoyed tone.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The voice that came through from the other side however was like neither of the two she had met so far. Where Alex''s voice was slightly higher, it also had a strong quality to it. Darby could imagine Alex giving commands to people and expecting them to be completed. Kristin on the other hand had an ever so slightly lower voice, and it was softer as well like she was always making sure not to antagonise the person she was talking to. This voice however was like neither of those two, it was much smaller, quieter, and timider. It sounded like if it made much more noise it would fracture and crumble into dust. "Umm, hello? Please don'' be mad I call, Alex say you nice," said the voice in a speech pattern that resembled a small child. Darby was unsure how to address this voice, clearly, it was an alter, or alternate state of consciousness, that was young and seemed scared. She had some experience with her friend''s younger alters, however for the most part they had seemed like fairly happy kids. "Uhh no worries kid, I''m not mad at all. What''s wrong?" she asked hoping she could draw some more information from the alter. "I scared and I dunno where I is," the alter replied with a quiver in their voice. Darby realised that the quiver in the alter''s voice must have meant they had been crying recently and given the increase in the quiver was about to cry again. "That''s okay," Darby replied while trying to retain a calming tone, "can you describe to me what''s around you?" "There trees, and I hear water, and I in a big tower," said the voice. The only place that was like that nearby that Darby knew was the park. She couldn''t put her finger on it but she felt compelled to help this alter, at least this would cure some of the boredom she had been feeling. "Okay, I''m going to try to come and find you and then we can work this out. Okay, kid?" Darby said as she rose from her seat trying to see where her manager had gone. Darby found her manager in the back office doing some paperwork and gave her the excuse that her mum was sick and needed her over right away. She hurried back to the counter pulled off her name pin, stashing it in the register, picked up her bag, and hurried out of the store. She made good time getting to the park and set about locating the body that currently housed a tiny little voice. She hurried over to the play equipment that was styled like a castle. The castle itself, all the way to its upper walls, was about five or six meters tall. It had 3 layers of which the top was open to the sky and the bottom containing a dirt floor. Each layer was split up into several rooms and so Darby began to search them one by one. As she neared one of the back rooms on the middle layer she could hear some quiet sobbing. Darby had to bend to fit on this floor, and so when she entered the room the girl she saw in the corner pulled herself into a tighter ball as if trying to meld into the shadows. Darby changed position and came in on her hands and knees, trying to make her appearance seem smaller and less threatening. "Hi there," she said in her softest tone, "it''s ok, I''m not going to hurt you." The girl peeked over her knees as she lifted her head slightly at the sound of Darby''s voice. "You the nice lady Alex say?" said the girl, although Darby swore she heard in the voice an attempt to sound masculine. "That''s me, my name is Darby. What''s yours?" she asked sitting down on the other side of the small room. "I''m Ethan," said the girl, although Darby guessed currently she could assume this alter to be a boy. "Well Ethan, it''s very nice to meet you. What brought you in here?" Darby asked hoping she might be able to figure out how to help this small alter. "There was scary and I run and I don'' know where I am and found here and I hid and I just want to go home," Ethan said in a run-on sentence Darby thought would never end. "I know where this park is, so if I know where your home is, I could help you find the way there," Darby said hoping Ethan would trust her enough for this, "would I be able to see the phone you called me on?" Ethan handed her the phone and also helped her unlock it. Flipping through the apps on Kristin''s phone, Darby quickly found the contacts app. Opening that up she found what she was looking for. Kristin had saved all her information into her contact card and so Darby now knew where to take Ethan home. She then pulled up the maps app and entered the address into it showing Ethan along the way. "This way you will know we are going in the right direction and I''m not leading you off somewhere," Darby said hoping to forestall any issues along the way. Darby then led him out of the small room and down to the ground floor. She held out her hand like she would any other small child however Ethan shied away from her seemingly afraid. ''Ok noted, this alter doesn''t like physical touch,'' she thought, making sure to keep some distance from Ethan as they walked. Darby kept up a mostly one-sided conversation, making sure to keep all topics light. As Darby finished her latest joke, which involved some choice descriptions and a small amount of toilet humour, a small smile crept onto Ethan''s face. Darby guessed it made sense and seemed to confirm her idea that Ethan was a boy. As they rounded the last corner and entered the street Kristin lived on, Darby took in the houses in this area. Many were small one or two-story houses that seemed to stretch deep into their lots. Small gardens dotted the front of many houses, a couple wild and overgrown. As they passed each house Ethan''s mood started to pick up as if he finally recognised where he was and was feeling more at home. Eventually, they came to a stop outside a two-story house that looked like someone had thrown old-fashioned stone style and modern architectural practices into a blender and made a house out of the pieces that were left. There was a small garden at the front, primarily some grass and a small bed of flowers. The flower bed had obviously seen better days as Darby could notice weeds poking through that would soon start starving out the desired plants. She also noticed there was a medium-sized, blue sedan parked in the small driveway next to the house, indicating that someone must be home. Darby wondered who this girl, or rather currently boy, lived with. She walked down the small path across the grass and headed for the heavy-looking blue door at the front of the house. Taking one last look at the boy next to her who seemed excited while also trying to be as small as possible, she took a breath and pressed the doorbell. Little Reveals Darby heard a man call out that he would be there soon. At this Ethan pulled in a little more behind Darby, as if he was scared of the voice. She heard footsteps coming down a hallway and the jostle of the door as it was unlocked. When the door opened a man was standing there, hair that seemed like he had fallen asleep on one side, and wearing a T-shirt based on some tabletop game and loose jeans. As he saw Darby, she could see he was about to ask her purpose at his door, however, he stopped as his eyes fell upon Ethan cowering behind her. "Kristin?" he asked, clearly confused by the behaviour of the young alter. As he said this Ethan made a small squeak and seemed to try to meld into the wall at the entryway. "I''m sorry, uh are you Kristin''s dad?" Darby asked imposing herself between the man and Ethan. She didn''t sense that Ethan was afraid of the man, the quick look back confirmed that he seemed more embarrassed. "I''m her uncle, Sam Wynter. Can you tell me what''s wrong with my niece?" Sam responded, his voice clearly taking on the tone of the concerned guardian. "I can try but perhaps standing here on the doorstep isn''t the best place for that," Darby said trying to be as clear as possible. "Of course, come in," Sam said as he backed up to give the two space to enter the house. Ethan kept Darby between himself and the uncle of the body as he entered. Darby looked around and saw that to the side of the entry hall there was a lounge room, and guided Ethan over to the couch. She picked up the remote and turned the television on, flipping through the channels until she found some children''s shows. Leaving him there as he seemed entranced by the television, Darby walked back to Sam, who had watched on with disbelief of what he was seeing. "He should be entertained for a while and I can explain what is going on. At least what I think is happening," Darby said. As stunned as he was Sam could only form a single response. "She uses She her pronouns." Darby attempted to stifle a small giggle as it seemed Sam had gone back to a familiar response, clearly one he had used many times. "I will explain it as best I can," she said, "is there somewhere we can go talk?" Sam indicated further into the house as they entered the kitchen-dining area. He seemed to recover some of his wits as he offered Darby a seat. "I''m sorry I didn''t ask your name," he asked. "It''s Darby, Darby Hanson. I met your niece last week at a park nearby. Well, I''m not sure it was the person you know as your niece that I first met." "I''m sorry I don''t understand," Sam said, shaking his head. "I believe that your niece has a mental health condition that causes her to have different identities living in her head," she began, "these identities can take control of the body and act as any real person. The one who is sitting over there watching children''s television is named Ethan. He is a six-year-old boy who called me because he was hiding in a park scared." She looked over at the young boy, sitting there in an older girl''s body. "I don''t know what scared him but something must have been very wrong."If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Sam sat listening to Darby''s explanation nodding along with each thing she said. Darby could see confusion, worry, and perhaps a small amount of understanding written across his face. Sam sighed, stood, and without looking at Darby said to her quietly, "thank you for all you have done." Sam slowly made his way over to the couch and crouched down a small distance away from Ethan, who looked over to Darby for reassurance. She gave him a small nod to say it was alright. "I''m sorry if I scared you, Ethan," Sam said in a soft tone, "however, it is very nice to meet you." Ethan looked like he was going to curl up into a defensive ball again, however, he cocked his head to the side as if listening to something. Then with an incredibly small voice said, "you don'' scare me, you just not suppose to know me." Darby stood and headed towards the door. "I wish you all the best Sam," she said, "and Ethan, be good." With that, she opened the door and left into the late afternoon sunlight. She really did wish them all the best. ---------------------------- Sam watched his niece, rather the identity who was in control of his niece, giggle at the TV as some cartoon played on the screen. He shook his head, this was going to take some getting used to, although, he thought this may explain some things. There had been many times where Kristin would seemingly shift in attitude, sometimes quite drastically, after some provocation. For example, the previous week when he had forgotten not to surprise her while she was listening to music. Had she not said not to call her Kris, something he often did. Could that have been yet another of these identities? If so, how many identities were there? There seemed to be no end to the questions his mind would come up with however he pushed them from his mind as he took the macaroni and cheese off the heat. "Dinner is ready Ethan, turn that off and come sit at the table," he called, serving the cheesy meal into a couple of bowls. He had opted for a simple meal, given the mindset this identity had was that of a child. Rounding the side of the island he brought the two bowls over to the table as Ethan bounced up, seemingly very excited about the prospect of the meal. As they ate Sam asked Ethan some questions, how old he was and the kinds of things he liked. Every question resulted in a pause and a cocked head from Ethan. Some questions went unanswered as he would get very caught up with eating his food. However, for the questions he answered, Sam made a note of the responses on his phone. He had a feeling that this information would be needed in the future. It seemed that Ethan really did think he was 6 years old, and he liked cartoons, playing games, and kicking a ball. He also seemed very shy, and when Sam was picking up the bowls at the end of dinner he shrunk back in his seat. Sam noticed that a few noodles had fallen on the placemat, and when Ethan saw Sam looking at the spots he placed his arms defensively around his head. Sam moved quickly away, placing the bowls in the sink and bringing back a cloth to wipe up the mess. Ethan curled further into himself as if trying to disappear inside himself, which made Sam wonder if something terrible had happened to him under a similar situation. Quickly wiping up the mess, Sam backed up and with his most comforting tone said, "see there''s no harm done, it''s all cleaned up." This seemed to calm Ethan somewhat, however, he still sat staring downcast at the placemat. Sam decided that a change of scene was needed. "How about I run you a bath with some bubbles?" he said, with a big smile across his face. At this Ethan looked up and gave a small nod, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. Sam went upstairs and started running the bath, pouring in some of the bubble liquid that Kristin had bought a couple of years ago. Soon the sound of splashing water and laughter could be heard from the bathroom as Ethan enjoyed his bath. While Ethan was in the bath, Sam did some research on the condition Darby had described, most importantly he wanted to know how something like this happened. What he found was heartbreaking. It seemed the professionals said that DID formed because the child had undergone incredible, ongoing trauma, and these other identities came into being to protect the child from what was happening. His thoughts turned first to his niece, his heart heavy at what she must have experienced for this to happen. Second, he thought of his sister, his mind confused. How had she allowed this to happen to her own child? He knew his sister had her own difficulties but surely she wouldn''t allow this. He straightened his back, he would not allow his niece to come to any further harm. He silently made a promise to her, to do everything he could to make this right. "Okay, Ethan, time to get out of the bath and get ready for bed," he called.